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11298102	Blue on Blue	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": null, "Characters": "Ryan Fletcher, Nikita Mears, Michael Bishop, Seymour Birkhoff (Nikita 2010)", "Fandom": "Nikita (TV 2010)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by FrancescaMonterone", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-25T00:00:00", "words": "1,026", "Additional Tags": "Friendship/Love, Love Triangle, Conflict of Interests, Maybe I simply enjoy making Ryan suffer", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "Michael Bishop/Nikita Mears, Nikita Mears/Ryan Fletcher/Michael Bishop", "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": "F/M, M/M", "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	His tie was slowly and steadily choking him and Ryan wondered if there was something in the air down here that turned perfectly harmless items of clothing into ruthless, silent killers. He wouldn't have put it past Percy... or Amanda.Where was Nikita? Why hadn't she returned yet? Why wasn't she answering his calls?He wasn't worried about her, God forbid, because that would have been ridiculous - she was Nikita, after all - but he needed her right now, and badly. Um. That sounded wrong even in his own mind. He was this close to running his hands through his hair in frustration.What was he doing here? He was so out of his depth."Problem?" Michael's deep voice rumbled behind him. Ryan could literally feel it, like a touch of skin on bare skin. It sent a very unwelcome shiver down his spine. Not your enemy, he reminded himself. And why the hell was he so jumpy?"Intel is six hours cold and I can't raise Nikita," he explained, turning to glance at Michael. "Think you can track her down?"Uh. Bad choice. Michael looked up at him, raising his eyes in that slow, deliberate way of his. "I'll see what I can do." There was a measure of condescendence in his tone, and a brief hint of amusement in his expression as he turned. Ryan sighed deeply.Well. At least Michael was enjoying himself here. Good for him.He did find Nikita, though, not that Ryan was surprised, and for a moment it looked as if things were about to get back on track, the normal, clear-cut operations track, that is, but then he was alone in a room with them. Well, almost alone, but Birkhoff didn't really count, offering no help or support as he leaned across the table. Maybe Ryan's paranoia was getting the better of him, but it sure seemed as if their resident genius was enjoying the show. All he needed was a jumbo size bag of popcorn to complete the image."... I can always check with Langley," he offered."By check he means hack," Michael translated unnecessarily, sounding amused.Ryan put his foot down. Firmly. "No hacking the CIA."Nikita, also leaning on the table, smiled up at him, then exchanged glances with Michael. Great. Nobody around here was taking him serious.... and why was Michael looking at him like that again?Stupid question really. Ryan knew exactly why. Also? The fact that he wasn't wearing a tie intent on strangling him was somehow unfair, particularly given the fact that the top two buttons of his shirt were undone, offering a tantalizing view of his bared neck.There should be laws against this. It was positively indecent.Nikita was still smiling, or again? "Whatever you say... boss." The word seared through him, a red hot spark, and he could feel the blush creep up his cheeks.Ryan looked from one to the other, their beautiful faces wearing damn near identical expressions of feigned innocence. It was an inside joke, and the fact that he was for once in on it did not make him feel any less uncomfortable. Oh hell, this was awkward.Should have known better, Ryan. Yeah. Never fuck the company, especially not when the company comes in deadly twos.And curse his luck, of course it all went sideways in Hong Kong. His first mission as the head of the new Division, and he was stuck at the bunker, watching helplessly as things spiraled out of control fast, all the while imagining guns trained on Nikita's slender silhouette and Michael in handcuffs, both images that did nothing to lower his heart rate."I don't give a damn about the President, Ryan, I care about Michael," she told him, and this was just too damn difficult and tangled, because they were on the same page when it came to that, but he couldn't tell her, couldn't let his guard down, not in front of all of those people who looked to him to be their strong leader, not swayed by personal considerations. To Nikita, it likely smacked of betrayal.Fighting it out in front of everyone, though... not a good choice. And it clawed a piece out of him to fight her on an issue so dear and personal to both of them, but he would not, could not relent. Those were not the terms of their agreement. No interference. Birkhoff called him out on it, of course he did. "That was not cool."Another deep sigh. "Which part of it?" As if Ryan himself hadn't been perfectly aware of the wrongness of it all. I'm in the process of wrecking my own heart here, Birkhoff, so don't you go all righteous on me."The world was watching," Birkhoff pointed out unnecessarily."Right." Ryan's tone was clipped. He had no desire to discuss his management style with Birkhoff, or the half-made bed in his office, or any of the other, heavier stuff that hung in the air. None whatsoever.And telling him to chill? So not helpful."The world's still gonna be here tomorrow." Pause. "Unless there's something you're not telling me?" Oh, nothing, nothing at all. Aside the fact that all of your lives are forfeit if I fail. Even theirs. Nikita's... and Michael's. He laughed, brief and humorless. Self-depreciatively. "Nothing you don't already know."Birkhoff nodded, and for a moment, Ryan thought he caught a flicker of something in his eyes.Maybe pity.The fact that they did get Michael out unscathed was a relief, but it felt like a hollow victory when his mission debrief with Nikita turned into yet another argument. He watched her turn and walk away, the red dress hugging her curves lovingly and he could see Michael's hands on her shoulders, large and slightly calloused, slipping it off. What have we become? When did we turn into this? But he knew the answer, of course. When? When you ask? When you got too greedy, and asked for too much. Victory. Peace. Love. A part in something greater than you could ever have imagined, but you yourself were too small for it.
11262225	danse du diable vert	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Imayoshi Shouichi, Susa Yoshinori", "Fandom": "Kuroko no Basuke \| Kuroko's Basketball", "Language": "English", "Rating": "General Audiences", "author": "by foxinsocksinabox", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-21T00:00:00", "words": "2,039", "Additional Tags": "Alternate Universe - Classical Music, the music school au no one asked for", "Relationship": "Imayoshi Shouichi/Susa Yoshinori", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": "Sports Anime Shipping Olympics 2017", "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Imayoshi Shouichi is the last person Susa expects to see at nine o'clock on a Saturday morning, when he steps out of his usual practice room on the second floor of the music department."Hey, Susa," Imayoshi says with a grin, hand coming up in a mock salute. "Fancy seeing you here!"Susa's eyebrows lower as he considers this. "You saw me here last week.""Eh. Figure of speech." Imayoshi falls in next to him as Susa starts walking, readjusting the thick music file under his arm. "I could hear you- that sounded real nice. It's a Cassado, right? Are you planning to audition with it for the Winter showcase?""Maybe." He's finding it difficult to balance accuracy and expression with Cassado's quick runs and double-bowing, and Susa's not sure he can pull it off. He glances at Imayoshi warily. "I haven't really decided yet."Imayoshi makes a humming noise. "You should. It'd be great. I don't think anyone's doing Cassado yet this year, but I can find out."They've just cleared the front doors of the music building, but Susa stops so soon that automatic door brushes the edge of his cello case as it closes. Imayoshi takes a few more steps before he seems to realise he's left Susa behind. When he turns, he's smiling.Susa can't read that smile. It sets his teeth on edge.He and Imayoshi don't really talk. They share one tutorial and a handful of compulsory lectures. Susa doesn't actually like the kinds of barbed jokes Imayoshi likes to crack at the expense of others."Why?" In his surprise, the single word sounds rude- almost like a demand. He tries again. "I mean, why do you need to find out? Aren't the conducting students going to be having their own showcase in March?"In other words, Imayoshi's not even going to be in the Winter showcase along with the other instrumentalists, so Susa doesn't understand why he would care. Susa's pretty sure they've never had a conversation this long in the four months since the start of the semester.Imayoshi's smile widens. "Can't I want to help a friend out?""We're- not friends." Susa responds bluntly. He's pretty sure his increasing confusion would visible to a blind man, but that inscrutable smile doesn't even flicker. "Imayoshi, I don't mean to be rude, but I really don't understand what this is about.""Aw, Susa, there's nothing to understand!" Imayoshi's grinning now as he sticks his hands into his coat pockets, morning sun glinting off his glasses. "I'm just a fan, is all." --- Susa doesn't manage to push the weird exchange from his mind, because Imayoshi just keeps turning up. He's there when Susa least expects it, always interested, always striking up conversations and even, on one occasion, helping Susa correct his homework for Ear Training I because Susa is struggling and Ear Training is Imayoshi's best subject.It becomes less weird as time goes by, and Susa starts to let his guard down. It helps that once Imayoshi realises Susa doesn't like poking fun at others, he makes a concerted effort to stop doing it- at least in Susa's presence. After that, they get along much better.Susa still doesn't really understand what's going on, but he resigns himself to it nonetheless.A few months later, Susa remembers that he has to register with an orchestra for the next semester's participation credits. When he logs on to the university portal, Susa pauses at Touou Orchestra, Conductor: Imayoshi Shouichi on the dropdown list- but continues scrolling to click on the Third Kaijou Orchestra instead. --- The first inkling Susa has that someone's joined him in his little study corner, is when a hand waves itself in front of his nose. When he turns, blinking, Imayoshi has slid into the neighbouring booth, and is wiggling long, pianist fingers at him in a cheerful hello.Susa slides his headphones off and mutes them for good measure when he realises his music is still really loud in the library's Silent Section. "Sorry, one sec," he mutters. He glances around to make sure no one is there to complain about their talking, and then raises his eyebrows. "What's up?""Hey. Nothing, just saw you as I came in," Imayoshi returns just as quietly. "Antiquity essay?""Yeah." Susa sighs. The compulsory music history class- Music from Antiquity to 1700- is kind of kicking his ass, though he doesn't want to admit it. Susa prides himself on being a good student, but his dislike of Baroque music isn't helping him at all in the class. He flashes Imayoshi a rueful smile. Typically he would expect one in return.But for once, Imayoshi looks uncharacteristically somber, and Susa's smile fades. There is a good-natured complaint hovering on the tip of his tongue; the first conversational sally into what is quickly becoming their normal banter, but he swallows it back in the face of Imayoshi's distraction."Hey," he says instead, leaning closer, "Is everything okay? You look kind of-" Susa gropes for an adjective and comes up blank, makes a face instead.Now, Imayoshi's mouth does quirk, but it's only a small curl, nothing like the usual wide, frustratingly opaque expression Susa suspects he wears like armour."Nah, It's nothing, I just-"Susa raises a hand to interrupt and, after a moment of consideration, saves his work and shoves his laptop into his bag."Susa? Where are you going?""We can't really talk here. Coffee? I'm buying."Imayoshi blinks, then shrugs. "Sure."Ten minutes later, Susa sips his iced latte, and eyes Imayoshi from across the table. "So," he starts, watching the way Imayoshi tilts his cup back and forth in uncharacteristic disquiet. "What's going on?"A beaming smile greets him then, one that's just a fraction too wide. "Why do you think something's wrong?"Imayoshi has clearly changed his mind about talking. Susa is rapidly growing to hate that smile and everything Imayoshi hides behind it.Before he can think better of it, he growls. "Don't do that."Imayoshi pauses. Susa can finally read something in his face again, see the surprise in the slight widening of his narrow eyes. "Do what? Don't be mad, Susa, I was just thinking about some stuff, it's no big deal."No big deal, he says. Susa glares at him silently until Imayoshi drops his gaze, and then he huffs, and tries to smooth his exasperation away into patience. "Look, I'm not forcing you to tell me, alright? If you don't want to, that's fine. We can talk about which question you chose to write for Antiquity, maybe."But the thing is- Susa watches Imayoshi and hopes that he'll tell him what's wrong, because somewhere between Imayoshi turning up at his practice room door and Imayoshi following him around after classes, Susa started thinking of him as a friend.Susa makes friends easily enough, but he's always been too focused on his music, on his career, to keep them. Imayoshi's persistence is new. Different. Susa enjoys their daily banter.He watches a muscle twitch in Imayoshi's jaw, before the other boy blurts, "The orchestra lists came out today. You're gonna play with Kasamatsu."Susa blinks. "Yes?" He frowns. "Is that what this is about?"Imayoshi looks away, and Susa can practically see the walls going up as he hunches lower in his seat. There is an audible edge to his voice when he snaps, "It's nothing. I mean, if you want to play with a conductor who can't even keep his own concertmaster in line, I guess that's up to you."Now, it's Susa's turn to pause. A scowl turns the corners of Imayoshi's lips downwards and, looking at it, Susa says slowly, "Are you upset because I won't be playing with you?"Imayoshi doesn't reply.Despite himself, Susa snorts. "Imayoshi, I don't know if it occurred to you, but I like the kind of music Kaijou plays. Kasamatsu's a former first chair violinist and he likes his strings section. What would I do at Touou, when you have a full complement of piano concertos listed as your programme for the next year?"Susa watches in bemusement as a flush creeps up Imayoshi's neck. The scowl, if anything, only gets deeper. "We could do a few cello suites," he mutters sulkily, in a way that reminds Susa far too much of his eight-year-old nephew. "You could choose which ones, and I could suggest it to Katsunori."Susa has to fight to keep a smile in check at the- oddly sweet?- gesture, but ultimately he shakes his head. "No. Honestly, Imayoshi, I like being part of- of a whole sound, you know? I'm happy where I am.""You're good enough to be principal cello. You could do solos.""Thanks, but I'm not, really-""You are!" Imayoshi insists, fiercely enough and loudly enough that Susa, who had been about to demur, falls silent. Imayoshi continues, the words a jumbled, shocking torrent compared to the way he usually weighs every syllable, every insinuation.It's that, more than anything, that convinces Susa that this is an Imayoshi angry enough, passionate enough to steamroll straight over all his own careful-constructed walls.Susa's never seen this before."Ever since I heard you play I feel like- I've never heard anyone play like you do, and it's plain as the nose on my face that you could be the linchpin of any orchestra! The fact that no one's spotted that yet is ridiculous!"This was clearly more than he meant to say, if the way Imayoshi snaps his mouth shut with a click is any indication. Susa's mind whirls. As he stares, Imayoshi's own voice from that early autumn conversation comes back to him. "I'm just a fan, is all." Susa had thought he was joking, but maybe- maybe he wasn't. Imayoshi's cheeks are stained red with embarrassment, and Susa feels an answering flush warming his ears at the thought that Imayoshi Shouichi, darling of the composition department and experienced student conductor, might be a fan of his playing."Um." Susa scratched the back of his neck, and ducks his head in embarrassment. "Thanks. I guess."Imayoshi shrugs, staring intently into his still-full mug. God, they haven't even finished their coffees, and already Susa feels like he's run a marathon, face too-warm and heart pumping.The silence stretches, and then Imayoshi sighs."Sorry," he says. "I'm being stupid.""It's fine." Susa swallows. "I'll think about it."Imayoshi glances at him, eyebrows raised behind his glasses. "You will?""Yeah. I'm committed for this semester, but after that- we'll see."A smile- a real one- is rapidly spreading across Imayoshi's face, and Susa feels the heat in his ears moving towards his cheeks. Imayoshi doesn't say anything for a long minute, while Susa's heart does awkward somersaults in his chest.And it's weird, and Susa would never have thought a single smile would affect him this way, and there are so many other things he should be focusing on in university aside from boys, and-"I'm glad," says Imayoshi, and Susa finds he is, too. --- They're mucking around in an empty practice room with a duet they're never going to perform, just because Imayoshi found out Susa had never seen a Ghibli movie and forced him to marathon them all. Now Susa has discovered a deep and abiding love for all of Hisaishi's compositions, but particularly his cello pieces.Susa could sit in a proper chair with all the arm- and leg- space he needs, but instead he's perched on the edge of the piano bench, as close to Imayoshi as he can get without obstructing either of their playing. And it's comfortable and fun, and Susa holds the vibrato on the last note as Imayoshi plays a cascading series of chords like water droplets, until finally, the last one fades.Next to him, Imayoshi shifts, and then says, "Hey, Susa?"Susa opens his eyes- he hadn't even noticed he'd shut them. "Yeah?""Can I kiss you?"He smiles."Sure." --- Susa waits two years to join an orchestra under Imayoshi, just to teach him a lesson that even if Susa's fine with going where Imayoshi leads most of the time, his music is his own.
11248938	His Jacket	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "F/M", "Characters": null, "Fandom": "Mystic Messenger (Video Game)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by shiroeswife", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-20T00:00:00", "words": "1,619", "Additional Tags": "Self-Insert, Self-Indulgent, Self Ship, Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Implied Sexual Content", "Relationship": null, "Character": "707 \| Luciel Choi", "Relationships": "707 \| Luciel Choi/Self-Insert, 707 \| Luciel Choi/Main Character, 707 \| Luciel Choi/Original Female Character(s)", "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	I yawned, stretching my arms above my head as I walked into the room. Saeyoung was at his desk as usual, keys tapping furiously as he worked diligently. I approached him from behind, my arms folded across my chest as I shuddered. The room was rather cold, as were the rest of the bunker. Usually, it’s a very comfortable temperature, sometimes pretty hot. But once Saeyoung discovered how much I liked the cold, it was now always cool.Sometimes a little too much.“Hey Sae?” I asked.He didn’t answer, his fingers fast against the keyboard at an impressive rate. Sometimes I’ll just watch him, completely enthralled in his movements. But today I had other things on my mind. I smiled gently, chuckling at him from a distance. Saeyoung is too invested in his work to really pay attention to me.“Darling, can I wash your jacket? I think I’m gonna do some laundry.”I leaned down beside him, looking at his face to see if he made any reaction. For a moment, he wasn’t saying anything, eyes still locked on the computer screen in front of him. I chuckled, watching him slowly nod without giving it much thought. This was kind of crazy, especially since he barely takes off that jacket.Saeyoung let me slip the jacket off his shoulders, one free hand still on the keyboard. I laughed loudly, watching him not even glance a second in my direction. Didn’t even bat an eye. Actually, he didn’t even blink one time. That would have worried me, if I didn’t already know how he was.“Thank you, baby,” I said, pecking his cheek softly.Again, no reaction.I rolled my eyes, quickly scurrying out of the room with his jacket in tow. Saeyoung had returned to his work like nothing ever happened. I didn’t get so much as a look, but that didn’t matter now. He’d most likely be out later. Hopefully. Maybe. It’s hard to tell, but at least I finally had his jacket.I may have lied to him a little bit. I didn’t want the jacket to wash it, although the idea did cross my mind. Saeyoung is always in this thing, but I really actually wanted to wear it. I was cold, and my favorite thing to wear was his jacket. It was like a part of him was always with me wen he was busy.And I may have had to lie to him to get it.Slipping the jacket on, I breathed a soft sight. It smelled like him. And not the smell of Dr. Pepper and his favorite chips, which I was oddly surprised of. It actually smell of his cologne I had bought for him a couple weeks ago. My heart swelled at the thought of him wearing it. I hoped he wore it just for me.I smiled brightly, walking into the kitchen to grab a drink. The bunker was quiet, and a little lonely at times. Saeran was in and out a lot, mostly in his room unless he’s on the couch binging on movies. Today was one of those days where he was out, which meant that I could walk around with only a large T-Shirt, underwear, and Saeyoung’s jacket.Grabbing a can of soda from the fridge, I popped it open and returned to the living room. I contemplated doing a few chores, seeing as the place could be cleaned a little bit. But I shrugged, plopping onto the couch and slowly sinking into the cushions. It could wait. I felt too cozy in my boyfriends jacket to really care right now.I grinned, zipping up the hoodie and folding my legs underneath me to sit on my ankles. Grabbing the remote, I turned on the TV and decided to watch a few movies until Saeyoung finished up. That may be a few hours or until the end of the day. Sometimes he finds me on the couch asleep, or in the bedroom having given up on waiting for him.That’s almost what happened today.I found myself watching movie after movie, my eyes flicking towards the hallway to see that tuft of red hair. But, unfortunately, it was never there. Eventually, I laid back on the couch, my head on the arm as my hair dangled off the side. Soft hums escaped my lips, my phone in my face as I scrolled through social media.I would occasionally giggle, seeing the chat notifications pop up. Right now it was Zen and Yoosung. Both of them were trying hard to get my attention, and I wasn’t really in the conversation. They kept assuming me and Saeyoung were making out. Well, by they I really meant Zen. Zen: Where’s Seven? You two aren’t…? Ash: What! No! He’s still working! Yoosung: Leave her alone! She’s probably bored out of her mind! Yoosung: I know I would be if my girlfriend was ignoring me! T.T Zen: Good thing you don’t have one Ash: Okay, that’s uncalled for, Zen! Zen: What? It’s the truth! Zen: Not everyone can be as lucky as me and be blessed with such good looks. Ash: >.> Narcissist Yoosung: A big narcissist Zen: I hate both of you Ash: love you too, Zenny! ;) I threw my head bsck, laughing loudly at the conversation. Zen and Yoosung were probably the two that I loved talking to most. Mainly because they were hilarious every time I came in. Zen doesn’t like me, I felt like, because I’m always poking fun at him. And when Saeyoung and I both are in the chat room, it’s even worse. For both of them.When I opened my eyes, I started to wipe tears from them when I saw a pair of golden eyes looking back at me. I bit my lip, feeling my cheeks starting to heat up a bit. “What’s so funny?” Saeyoung asked, clearly jealous I was laughing without him.“Just Zen and Yoosung. They’re being idiots as always.”I rolled off of the couch, climbing to my feet and placing my phone in the jacket pocket. Saeyoung raised his eyebrows, his eyes trailing my form. I wasn’t sure if he was upset by the look on his face. It wasn’t like I stole it from him. He willingly gave it up to me. Kind of.Furrowing my brows, I stared at him with confusion as I walked towards him a bit. “You’re good,” He said. I stopped moving, tilting my head and mouthing ‘what’. Saeyoung repositioned his glasses onto his face, fingers gently rubbing his chin.“I had no idea you stole my hoodie. You’re sneaky.”“You gave it up to me. Very easily, I might add.”I smirked, continuing my slow walk towards him. A smirk grew onto my face, a tad bit flirtatious in my words. But mostly just being sneaky and fun. Saeyoung’s eyes kept roaming my body, obviously enjoying how the jacket looked on me. I was kind of surprised he wasn’t breaking. Because I expected him to lose his mind.“But you came to me at my weakest point. You used my focus as a way to get what you want. How could you?” Saeyoung teased, clutching his chest in a joking way.“I’m sorry, Sae. I was just cold, and it keeps me warm while you’re busy. I hope you can forgive me.”“I don’t know. I’m not sure if I could ever trust you again.”I pursed my lips, hiding back giggles at his tone. I swayed my hips, unzipping the jacket and slowly letting it fall off my shoulders. Outstretching my arms, I handed him the hoodie with a small smile on my lips. His eyes widened, cheeks turning a bright shade of pink.“You were saying?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.He opened his mouth to speak, but quickly shut it once he realized that he had nothing to say. I giggled, stepping closer and watching his cheeks darken the closer I became. I could have sworn I saw his glasses start to fog up, making me laugh louder.Saeyoung threw the jacket back at me, spinning around and pushing me gently towards the hallway.“Saeyoung, what’re you-”“Just, please go put some clothes on!”“But what if I don’t want to!”“Your merciful God Saeyoung has spoken! Put on some clothes before you’re punished!”My eyes widened, and I spun on my heels with a wicked grin on my face. “Oh really? Is that so?” I asked. Saeyoung blinked, seeing the excitement on my face at those words. He didn’t take into account that I’d actually like that response.“Of course you’d like that! Argh! What am I going to do with a girlfriend who’s such a vixen?”“I don’t know, what will you do?”I wiggled my eyebrows, watching his face turn redder and redder until he looked like he’s about to explode. He lifted the cross around his neck, lifting his head to glance at the ceiling as he began to mumble under his breath. The only thing I could catch was a swift scripture and then something along the lines of: ‘God, please give me the strength to not give into this temptation’.Giggling loudly, I grasped his wrist and yanked him over to the couch with him. I kissed his cheek, ruffling his hair in a teasing way. I didn’t get dressed, of course, but I did allow him space to breathe. Saeyoung still kept a small distance between us, occasionally holding his necklace up in my face when I tried to get too close.But I always ended up winning every time I kissed his lips.He can never resist my lips.
11296962	Undercover	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": "F/M", "Characters": "Veronica Mars, Logan Echolls, Original Male Character(s), Cindy \"Mac\" Mackenzie, Dick Casablancas, Keith Mars", "Fandom": "Veronica Mars (TV)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by maipigen", "chapters": "17/17", "completed": "2017-07-09", "published": "2017-06-25T00:00:00", "words": "39,914", "Additional Tags": "Undercover Work, I know nothing about real undercover work so...yeah, let your sense of disbelief free and ignore any untruth, I grew up on Hollywood movies, Now I'm gonna tag for realsies, Character death (pre story Lily Kane), Case, Underage - Freeform, nothing gross, trust me - Freeform, Veronica is 26, Logan 17, No Smut, sorry - Freeform, Humor, Drama, Romance, Angst, Love, being them only different ages, give it a shot!, okay I lied, there will be smut, Only later on, No statutory rape here, Sexual tension in abundance though, Been told I need to inform you that this was firstly posted on ff.net, Don't post to other sites!, This is MY Work!", "Relationship": "Logan Echolls/Veronica Mars", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	UNDERCOVER Prologue "Agent Mars, it's time to begin."The small blonde FBI agent looked up from the gun she was cleaning; her face clearly showing her exhaustion, it was barely six a.m. in the morning and the people who knew the tiny blonde also knew that she'd never been a morning person. But her voice was firm and full of its usual energy when she replied cheerfully, "I'll be right there; thanks."Three minutes later, Veronica entered the small room where the professional group of people was going to transform the twenty six year old into a sixteen year old girl. Once Veronica finally was allowed to take a look at herself and the more detailed briefing papers that told her what type of girl she'd be portraying, she almost spat out the coffee that she'd just taken a sip off."That's just great. Not again…""You don't like it?" James, Veronica's longtime partner asked, leering teasingly up and down at her new attire."I escaped high school the first time around without donning the cheerleader persona," Veronica explained, twirling her recently cut blonde hair around her newly manicured finger. "And they keep putting me in these kinds of roles when we do jobs like this as you very well know. It's just nice to see that all my training wasn't for naught. Oh well; I guess I've got yet another shot at figuring out how to do splits in the air and shit.""Veronica, it's the character that's been assigned to you; you're our best undercover agent so take it with a smile and just be happy you're not supposed to teach the stupid kids." James' bitterness over his own assignment was palpable and Veronica couldn't fight back a small smile."What? You're dying to learn splits too? I'll teach ya if you promise me an A in your class.""Oh shut up."Grinning, Veronica made her way out to the Le Baron that'd been given to her – not for the first time; or to be fair to her character. "Why can't I ever be rich along with the popular bitchy stuff? Aren't all cheerleaders bitchy and rich, I ask you? Did movies teach us nothing?""Get in the car and go to Keith's after school, Ronnie. He's expecting you.""Don't call me Ronnie; I'm not a dog, Jimmy." Veronica said, for what might have been the ten thousandth time during their partnership.James smiled widely and gave her the finger unceremoniously before heading over to one of their fellow agents that was waiting for him to sign something.Rolling her eyes, Veronica first made sure everything was in place in the car. She'd used the car on a previous assignment, so she'd gotten some hidden compartments installed for her weapons and tracking devices and more.It was one of the perks of being the best; Veronica didn't have to wear wires all the time unless she felt like it was the best solution for solving her mission. James was usually the only other operative on the case with her and they'd worked together long enough to know what they were gonna do already.Once a week, he'd give her some sort of bogus detention where they'd debrief each other and as the case progressed they'd work out some sort of surveillance schedule as well. Veronica may be young, but she was by no means a rookie; it was the fifth time she was going undercover at a high school.Although, it was the first time it was at a school that was as stocked up with the offsprings of the rich and famous as this one. Neptune High school.Veronica was put on the school to try and sniff out just who'd murdered Jake Kane's oldest child, Lilly Kane. Veronica's uncle, Keith Mars had, as the local sheriff, proved that the guy that had been imprisoned for her murder wasn't guilty and Abel Koontz was released with a big ass settlement for wronged imprisonment.Just too bad he didn't get a chance to spend any of it before dying of cancer; Veronica thought wryly, as she waved to James and pulled out on the road to make her way to her first day of school. TBC… ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- CHAPTER ONE Veronica pulled into the parking lot of her newest place of assignment. The Californian sun was already shining brightly down on the building where she'd spend her days in the next couple of months; preferably less, if she had anything to do with it, which she kind of did when she thought about it... If she hadn't already read up on the town of Neptune, the expensive cars surrounding her would've told the agent just what kind of people went to this high school. Rich, spoiled kids with way too much free time, Veronica surmised as she gathered her stuff. This old car doesn't fit in, in the slightest, Veronica thought, looking around a bit closer at the cars. People are gonna think I'm a charity case; I don't think the bosses on this realized just what kind of place it is… A bright, blinding flash of light hit Veronica's eyes and she held up a hand to use as a shade, looking closer at the car who'd reflected the sun so effortlessly. It was big, that was the first thing Veronica noticed. Another look revealed it to be a bright yellow X-terra. In the next moment, Veronica recognized it from a picture in one of her files and she immediately went over what she knew of the car's owner. Logan Echolls. Son of Aaron and Lynne Echolls. One sibling, Trina Echolls. He's the only one not in the acting business. His fame though still manages to surpass that of his sister. Belongs to the best of the best in the high school hierarchy; best friend Duncan Kane and here's the kicker, Veronica added mentally just as the car door opened and the boy in her thoughts jumped out full of an elegance that was seldom seen in teenage boys. He was dating Lilly Kane at the time of her death and it was apparently well known that the deceased had been pretty loose when it came to who was sharing her bed. Murder suspect number one, Veronica decided, just as the boy in question looked up from fist bumping some of his entourage as a good morning greeting ritual and met her staring gaze head on. In that moment, something most peculiar happened. Veronica felt like everything faded to black, except those slightly hooded hazel eyes that just. Kept. Staring. At. Her. Fighting off an unexpected flush, Veronica shook her head and turned to grab her book bag. She discreetly checked that some of her weapons were stored safely inside a hidden pocket before turning around. Her eyes automatically sought out the suspect's form, but to her disappointment – no, her annoyance, Veronica corrected herself – he wasn't there anymore. Sighing, Veronica threw her book bag over her shoulder and began making her way inside. But before she could enter the building, she noticed a growing pile of students milling around the flagpole. Cheers and the occasional rude comment told the agent that someone wasn't having the best time of their life. Unable to ignore the part of her that always wanted to help out, Veronica pushed her way closer to the flagpole. Once she caught sight of what was going on, she had to bite back a snort of amusement. "Kids these days," Veronica muttered with a smile. It was a teenage boy, who was taped naked to the flagpole. The duck tape just barely covering all his private bits, something Veronica was grateful for. Staring at a teenager's junk so early in the day was not her idea of a good time. She stood unnoticed in the crowd, which only grew as the minutes past. Looking around, Veronica waited for the kid's friends to intervene, to step up to the plate so to speak and cut the poor boy down. But the longer she waited, the longer it became clear to Veronica that no one was going to help the unfortunate student out of his predicament. Sighing, Veronica decided she couldn't stand by any longer. She briefly wondered if signaling James to come and work his teacher magic was a better solution before deciding to go with the more direct approach and doing it herself. She had barely taken four steps in the kid's direction, before someone stepped in front of her, halting her process. It was a jock whose bleached blond hair gave his identity away to an always keen on details Veronica. Dick Cassablancas. "Hotness," he smirked goofily, "you must be new so you should know not to worry your pretty little head with these things; he's on the PCH'ers shit list so don't go near him for your own good, Baby." "Geez, thanks," replied Veronica, neatly sidestepping the blond heir, "but I just can't help wanting to catch a closer look." As she stepped up to the pole and the all but whimpering teen taped to it, another jock looking kid stepped forth and started snapping pictures of the whole ordeal. Without thinking, Veronica reached out, grabbed the annoying teen's wrist and bent it backwards harshly. Her victim groaned in pain and cussed at her once she took his camera phone. "You'll get this back when you've learned to be a decent human being," she explained and turned back to the kid at the pole, "which I'm guessing means you'll have to wait a long time." "Hello, I'm Veronica Mars," she cheerfully introduced herself and started to rip the tape off the pole; neatly leaving it on the boy's skin to preserve some of his decency. "W-Wallace Fennell." The teen returned the favor and smiled shyly down at her as she finished cutting him free. "I'm gonna go home and change…but thanks for this; I won't forget it." "Coolio," Veronica replied flippantly and turned to leave just as carelessly as she'd arrived, but the jock, from before, whose pride had been hurt along with his wrist, had gotten up with some of his friends backing him. Veronica rolled her eyes mentally and fell into the innocent personality that usually worked wonders when she tried getting out of trouble, 'cause let's face it, Veronica thought cynically, guys of all ages like nothing more than running to the rescue of a naïve blonde chick… "Hi guys," she said, altering her voice a bit, making it sound more childlike, while at the same time completing the look when she curled a piece of her loose hair around one of her fingers. "What's up?" The complete change of personality seemed to throw the injured jock off his track and he stood immobile for a few seconds, mouth agape and looking way too unintelligent for even attempting a high school education. Veronica gave him, and his silent friends, a few moments to react before straightening up and walking by them with a sweet farewell wave. "Nice talking to ya guys; maybe we'll see each other later. It'll be like totally awesome, right?" Veronica entered the school building before any of the goons realized what had happened and she took the time to roll her eyes outwardly this time around, before taking out her schedule and memorizing it. Having a near perfect ability to memorize was one of the reasons that Veronica was so good at her job. She'd been through this kind of thing so many times already that she no longer had to pay attention in classes; instead she mostly spent the time eying up her suspects and compiling plans for subtle interrogation and stuff like that. Having learned her schedule for the week, Veronica quickly made her way to the classroom where she knew that her partner would spend most of his day. As the bell rang, Veronica poked her head in and caught his attention. She blinked in a quick succession telling him in their own private code, that she'd laid eyes on their main suspect and that she'd pursue matters during the day. James blinked back, scratching his chin in a would be casual manner that meant 'okay, rendezvous later' to Veronica and with a quick nod, she vacated the classroom door and turned around to search for the class she was supposed to be in herself. Then she had to murmur some lame excuse to a blue haired student, who'd seen the whole thing; something about getting an eyelash in her eye. The girl with the blue streaked hair didn't react; she simply stepped aside so Veronica could get by and walked into James' class without a word. Veronica figured that the other female might have been stoned so she put it out of her mind and continued on her way. When she finally reached her destination, Veronica took a moment to compose herself; it took more and more of her to stay in character the older she got and she already knew she was in for a rough time due to the profiles she'd read of the people that had been in Lilly Kane's too short life. With one last sigh, Veronica hiked up her already short skirt a little and ran a hand through her locks to rumple them; fully intending to go with the slutty, but sweet image. A heartbeat later, she stumbled through the door, giggling before saying with an artificial out of breath voice, "Whoops, these halls are just so confusing; I'm soooo sorry that I'm late Mister, but I'm new and like my family always says, I've got no sense of direction at all," she looked up at the teacher, whose frown diminished at the (supposedly) sincere apology and he welcomed her, making her promise to be on time in the future before telling her to take a seat. Veronica looked around the classroom and ignored the mixture of judgmental and amused looks she was getting and walked down to Dick Cassablancas, who was sitting in the back, staring at her legs with way too much interest this early in the morning – at least according to Veronica's sense of modesty. Putting her mild annoyance out of her mind, Veronica stayed in her chosen character and bent forward, planting a big kiss on his cheek. "Hi there; remember me? I'm Veronica. Mind if I take a seat here; you're the only one I sort of know right now and well, I do know that naked kid too a little bit, but I think he went home. And well, between you and me," Veronica ignored the stares she was getting, knowing that whatever she said most definitely wouldn't stay just between her and the rich teenager next to her, "I shouldn't really hang out too much with him until he's got some clothes on and until all that business with the P…uhm…those letter thingies you told me about earlier, is over and all. Did I mention I'm new here?" Veronica had to swallow a satisfied smirk, when Dick nodded eagerly, gesturing for her to sit down. She pretended she didn't care when he put his arm around the edge of her seat and kept it there throughout the entire class; instead she focused on the fact that she'd found her first way into Logan Echolls' circle. If everything else is as easy as this was, this mission won't take more than a week; tops. Veronica thought to herself and leaned back into Dick's arm, pretending to pay attention to the teacher all the while she planned out what she'd do next. TBC… ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- CHAPTER TWO So, Veronica thought, tiredly stretching her back as she exited her car and made her way into the small apartment that belonged to her uncle Keith. Logan Echolls isn't as gullible as his friend is. Who knew there was actually one intelligent kid left in that school? And then an 09'er to boot.Veronica entered the apartment silently, already having called Keith earlier only to discover that he was away on a trip, trying to catch a fugitive. Despite the fact that he promised to be at home to help me get settled, Veronica thought with a small sigh. Looking around, Veronica smiled softly, showing off her soft side for once now that there weren't any witnesses.The eclectic mix of furniture and styles in the combined kitchen and living room was just as she remembered; something Veronica knew that her uncle's ex-wife, Lianne had struggled with for years before finally giving up. It was bright and warm, yet bore a distinct mark of being a bachelor's home.The sound of soft growling and tripping feet told Veronica that Keith's dog, Back-up was on his way from the bedroom and she kneeled down, opening her arms to embrace the dog she almost considered her own – especially since she'd been the one to have owned his mother and had given him to Keith as a birthday present a few years earlier."Hey Boy," said Veronica and a moment later, Back-up had bowled into her with the strength of a freight train and Veronica tumbled backwards with her arms full of a loving canine.A little while later, Veronica got to her feet and dusted off the unavoidable dog hairs as she walked into the room that Keith had prepared for her. There she unpacked as quickly and effectively as always, hiding weapons and work related items all over the place, just in case.Then she took a quick shower, washing off the 'bimboness' that she'd been enveloped in all day and made a pot of strong black coffee before settling down in the striped, plush armchair that she'd always loved and went over her day's work.After getting accepted by Dick, Veronica truly thought everything would be easy peasy – and at first, it did seem so. Her new friend had taken her outside for lunch in the quad with the other 09érs and they'd all more or less welcomed her. Okay, there'd been some superior looks at her clothing and stuff, a girl proclaiming to be Dick's girlfriend had pulled him to her side and glowered a bit at Veronica, but she charmed them all to the best of her abilities – which was something she had a lot of, and shed been making a timid Duncan Kane smile when Logan Echolls dumped into the other guys lab and just stared at her silently for what seemed forever.The look in the teenage boy's eyes told Veronica what she'd already caught a glimpse of when they'd last locked eyes; that this young man had an old soul and was way more intelligent than his peers…Then, in the next second, he ruined anything that resembled maturity by opening his mouth after Duncan pushed him off his lap."So, yet another Blondie joins the rank; do you need learning to speak in full length sentences or will your mouth be occupied with…other things?"Gritting her teeth at the innuendo, Veronica slammed down on the part of herself that wanted to put the insolent brat in a headlock and bang his head into the red plastic table in front of them and smiled with a silly look in her face, pretending she didn't catch the insult."Well, I'm pretty good at speaking; but if you give writing lessons, I'd be happy to take your help. My old English teacher said I had appallingly bad grammar. Like, who's ever gonna need anything we learn in high school out in the real life? I'm gonna be a personal shopper or like a professional cheerleader or…I don't know, something worthwhile that'll make a difference in the world, you know."Veronica prided herself at her professionalism, but she couldn't say that she enjoyed the mocking look Logan sent her at her words; the hint of patronizing disgust did something to her innards, and she didn't like it one bit. Instead, she decided to try and get on with her plan of figuring out if her number one suspect was in fact, a real suspect."So, uhm, I'd love to get together some time and learn stuff, if you're interested? I'm a very fast learner, my old cheerleading coach said so…a bunch of times."Logan's smile was nowhere near sincere, but he did have a look of lust in his eyes as they traveled down Veronica's admittedly lean physique. And judging from that look, Veronica thought with a weird jolt shimmering out into her whole body as his hazel gaze lingered, he definitely knows what to look for. Geez, how soon do kids start these days?Finally, Logan's gaze returned from its visit below her neckline and he smirked this crooked smirk that – again – did odd things to Veronica's insides that she promptly ignored, because she wasn't at the school to seduce or be seduced, the realistic part of her pointed out in the back of her mind."No thanks, Blondie. Not that I'm against a casual roll in the hay – or on the several hundred dollars silk sheets that I prefer, but I'm already involved with one stupid blonde; I don't think my poor nerves could handle a second one, however brief it may be. Or my wallet."Veronica nearly broke her jaw in an attempt to keep her naïve smile going at the blatant insult; fortunately the supposed girlfriend Logan was referring to, finally puzzled out what he'd been saying and turned around to face him with a pout that would've made a toddler jealous."Hey, Logan! I'm not stupid."Logan blinked out of the stare that he still had fixed on Veronica for some reason and turned his head to face the other girl. However, Veronica did see that quick eye roll that he couldn't quite contain as he turned away from her, and she suddenly wanted to smack him for being an insensitive jerk instead of a condescending one and he was definitely still the main suspect on her list, because he had to be a coldblooded murderer to be such an asshole."Baby," Logan's velvet voice brought Veronica out of her musings and she refocused her attention on her target as covertly as she could as he somehow managed to talk himself out of trouble in a few seconds. "I was simply making an illustrious point; don't worry your pretty little head with my silly speeches. By the way, are we still on for that rendezvous later?"The skinny blonde girl giggled noisily and leaned up against Logan's shoulder with a contented sigh that made Veronica want to gag. She really hated how that girl just couldn't stop touching Logan. I mean, Veronica grumbled internally, can't she see that he doesn't give a crap about her except for a place to put his-"Dick!"Veronica jolted out of her thoughts violently, flinching enough to accidentally bump into the only girl at the table that seemed like a decent human being. "Whoops, I'm sorry." Said Veronica, quickly grabbing a napkin from the table to dry off the droplets from the soda that had spilled onto the girl's cheerleading uniform as one of the jocks that had shouted for Dick ran over to the table. "Thank God it was an orange soda and not a coke, right? I mean with the yellow uniforms and all that…"The girl that Veronica had heard being called, Meg smiled, oozing friendliness. "Don't worry about it; I've got an extra uniform in my gym locker. I'll just go change. Have someone shown you where we meet up later for practice? Caitlin usually does it, but she's a bit occupied with Logan lately."No, but I've studied the illegally gained blueprints of this school ever since the mission brief was given to me, Veronica answered the teen in her head; while outwardly she shook her head and got up to follow Meg to the locker room.She pretended that she didn't hear Logan's oh-so-sincere warning to 'not get lost, 'cause it was a big place Blondie,' and reminded herself that she wasn't supposed to kill her suspects, no matter how utterly annoying they turned out to be! 0o0o0 Back in the present, Veronica blinked out of her memories of the day when her cell phone rang. The ringtone was, 'Murder at the dance floor' by Sophie Ellis Baxter; one which Veronica had given to James' calls after she'd watched him pretty much demolish several of their fellow agents during some innocent dancing at the local Christmas party they'd been to three years ago.Sighing, Veronica took the call. "How's it going Mr. Vernon?""Shut up, Ronnie," James' equally as exhausted voice rang out into her ear. "If I'm anybody in that twisted head of yours, I'm that Bender kid, 'cause I'm the Man.""Right," Veronica chuckled, "if you insist on being young with the young, I'm gonna compromise here and say you can be Andy, 'cause you love to wrestle and I'm sure you're scared of your daddy too.""Ronnie…" James sounded like he had no idea how they'd ended up talking about this and didn't quite know how to bring the conversation back on track.Taking pity on her partner, Veronica ran a hair through her hair and asked, "Well, not that I don't like discussing fabulous eighties movies and all that, but I'm assuming you called to say something important?""Yeah; I just wanted to say that I might have located a helping hand. There's a kid in my class that showed unusual talent in the computer area. We might be able to use her later on, in case we need to do something on the sly. Knowing you, we'll end up there eventually.""Shut up, I'm as innocent as a fresh flower, Jimmy." Protested Veronica; not even bothering to sound sincere because she knew he was speaking the truth."Hmhmm, one that's got rotten roots…but anyway," James returned to the matter of hand, realizing that Veronica was in the mood to confuse him more than normally. "I'll get back to you on the progress on my end. What's been happening on your end? Heard you couldn't stay out of the limelight and just had to help one of the little people.""Well, in my defense," Veronica objected with a smile, scratching Back-up under his chin, "he's more along the lines of six feet something, so I'm not sure the mocking name calling counts. And as for my progress…I'm not so sure."Veronica told her partner and best friend about her observations throughout the day, taking care not to mention the peculiar feelings a certain actor's son inspired in her every now and again."…and then I was shown around by this nice enough kid, Meg. And that's pretty much it for me." Veronica trailed off into a yawn.Within minutes, James had ended the call and they'd made plans for their first detention the next day and Veronica went to bed. The last thing she thought about before finally dozing off, was a pair of old looking hazel eyes that seemed to look straight into her soul…TBC… ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- CHAPTER THREE Okay, it is official, Veronica thought, desperately clinging to her cover with all her might, I'm in hell."And that's so good, girls," Meg's cheerful voice rung out, "Veronica, you need to trust us more; we're definitely gonna catch you…err…this time. Now, let's do it again from the top!"The music resumed its pounding beat and Veronica stored away her concern for future injures, swearing internally to track down the people that had made her a cheerleader – again - and have a little chat with them; preferably with an unregistered Glock firmly in hand.Finally, the torture session or 'Cheerleading practice' as it was called ended and Veronica practically escaped to the locker room to shower and change with the speed of a bullet.Once it was done, she went in search of her partner, who'd managed to intrigue her with hints of having found someone that could lend them a hand on the sly. Finally, Veronica located James in the teacher's lounge of all places.A quick scan of the surroundings told the young agent that she wasn't free to let her persona go and she put on a beaming smile that probably made her IQ drop just by association and walked into the lounge to get James' attention."Hiya Mr. Smith," the grin turned into a nervous smile as she tentatively asked, "uhm, I kindda wanted to talk to you about the grade I got on my last paper, 'cause it totally didn't match my expectations so…uhm, what would I have to do to get it changed?""Miss Mars," James' eyes held a tiny hint of amusement, and Veronica wanted to throttle him and reminded herself to do just that next time they sparred, "I most certainly doubt that you'll be able to change your average scores in my class, but I do actually have a list of notes for you that might help you see things the way they're supposed to be."Veronica accepted the small folder which was supposedly full of notes for class, but she knew that it was a collection of his meticulously made notes of his own progress on the case. A quick scan at the bottom, told Veronica that the person he'd found to help them with computer oriented things was a student by the name of Cindy Mackenzie, or Mac as James underlined notes implied.She closed the folder and looked back at her partner. "I so think this is lame," Veronica threw in a little Valley girl to get the possible listening teachers around them to roll their eyes in sympathy for James. "I like, totally gave you a great paper and you're just a sad little man that likes holding his power over people so that he doesn't have to think about his inability to get it up when he-""Miss Mars!" James bellowed and Veronica swallowed a smile, while allowing him to give her their preplanned detention for the week, and turned around with a huff, playing the offended girl to perfection."Whoa, watch it," Veronica heard a moment later, just before she was body slammed back into the door she'd closed behind her with a bang and tumbled to the floor.A few seconds later, big sun tanned hands were lifting her to her feet effortlessly and Veronica looked up into Logan Echolls' hazel eyes. She felt an unexpected lurch on the inside and firmly told herself to get a grip, even as she kept her ditzy persona in check."Sorry 'bout that," Logan smirked, "I guess you're just too tiny for my senses to pick up. You really should complain about that to someone, you know. It could be hazardous to your health, and more importantly, mine as well.""Yeah, well you really should see someone about getting a decent personality; I bet it's a real difficulty for everyone around you."The words left Veronica's mouth in her usual sarcastic tone of voice, and it was definitely not something her cheerleader persona would use and she quickly forced back a curse and turned her smile up a notch as she tilted her head innocently.The motion triggered some glint of bemusement in the teen's eyes and Veronica forced back any sign of nerves. Instead, she knew from experience that breaking her character now would more than likely be the death of her – so to speak anyway.Then, in the next second, just before Veronica slipped up for good, Logan's mouth transformed into that smirk that she'd seen more or less permanently glued to his lips ever since they'd met and he leaned up against the wall in front of her with an air of elegance and arrogance all molded into one."So New Girl; wanna hang? I'm particularly bored today and the education going on behind these walls isn't exactly as great as people think it is. I mean," here the young man leaned forward an inch, his warm breath ghosting over Veronica's face, sending unexpected goose bumps down her spine before he continued, "I saw my homeroom teacher smoking something that most assuredly wasn't a mere smoke, if you catch my drift?""I'm flattered…really," Veronica said, frantically trying to play her role, inwardly wondering just why that seemed harder than any other time she'd been undercover, "but to be honest, I'm like totally in like with Dicky. He's just my type of guy, you know.""Is that so?" The incredulity was plain to see in Logan's widened eyes, and Veronica suddenly had an urge to laugh at the very idea."Yep, he's just so dreamy, don't you think?""Sure, I get the shivers every time he smiles at me," Logan's reply was as dry as sawdust and once more, Veronica found herself wanting to laugh, but she just acted like she completely believed his statement and widened her eyes to an almost comical degree."I know, right? That soft looking hair and those muscles and-""What are we talking about?" The man of the hour suddenly appeared next to Veronica, who'd been so focused on not bursting into giggles at the sight of slight nausea on Logan's face that she jumped a little at the surprise."We're just debating the pros and cons of certain bits of the male anatomy and its negative repercussions on me," Logan drawled, slowly looking away from Veronica.Dick's face morphed into revulsion after a small pause that he clearly used to decipher Logan's words and Veronica struggled with everything in her not to burst something internally as he whisper-yelled, looking around the emptying hallways to prevent witnesses. "Dude, if you got problems with your…well, your little man, I'd really appreciate you not sharing it with me, 'cause I don't swing that way and I'm not really sure if it's not contagious too, you know."This time Veronica gave up trying and burst into a bubbling laughter that she had seldom experienced before and after a quick look at Logan, he started laughing too. Dick just shrugged, looking confused and walked away.Veronica finally got herself together again and wiped the tears out of her eyes with a small smile on her lips; Logan copied her movement and straightened back up."That was surprisingly entertaining," he admitted, running a hand through his spiked hair with a soft sigh and for the first time, Veronica understood that he wasn't putting up a front, that he was allowing her to catch a brief glimpse of a fun loving guy that was one of the few people alive that got her humor.Too bad, I have to prove that you killed your girlfriend and covered it up, Veronica thought, a more somber mood returning quickly. Out loud she changed the subject abruptly, "I have to go; my uncle is expecting me for dinner.""Oh…" Logan seemed a bit taken aback, but then put on his usual smirk – although, this time is was less mocking and more sincere. "Well, I'll see you tomorrow then. Unless," here Logan stopped to grab his abandoned backpack and place it on his shoulder carelessly, "you wanna hang out with me and the others at my house tonight? My parents are away shooting a movie and I'm the designated party thrower by default."With a little too much reluctance, Veronica put on her fake smile and agreed. Judging from the pleased look in the younger boy's eyes, he didn't sense her true emotions and Veronica exhaled a sigh of relief as she watched him walk away with his usual cocky swagger."That's a perfect opportunity you've got there, Mars," James' voice sounded from behind Veronica, and she flew around with a start, subconsciously grabbing for the gun that she hadn't worn since cheerleading practice began."Whoa there," James grinned and came fully through the teaching lounge's door, closing it firmly behind him. "I told the other teachers that there was a lover's quarrel going on out here, so no one other than me heard anything. Anyway, I'm coming over later tonight with some bugs for your to wear; hopefully we'll get somewhere in this case for once, 'cause I'm very eager to go home and quit correcting stupid papers with way too much spelling mistakes for their age.""Oh shush you," Veronica rolled her eyes, "you love being a mentor. They look up to you and I bet you get all tingly inside when they break out the ´Sir´ part too, don't ya?"James gaped like a fish for a split second, before he just snorted and turned back into the teacher's lounge without dignifying Veronica's comment with a response. 0o0o0 It was later that evening when Veronica was out jogging to keep up her admittedly impeccable shape, when she witnessed something that almost made her break out her gun and start firing at something.Preferably all those shiny bikes, she thought at the two wheeled vehicles in the distance. At least that'll distract them if nothing else. Veronica crouched down behind one of the few cars that were parked a little out of the way, looking silently as that kid from the flagpole was getting a beating that had already been going on for a little while by the looks of the guy.The gang leader, Eli "Weevil" Navarro was standing in the front, watching with an indefinable look in his eyes as some of his cronies kept punching their victim in the gut without mercy.Finally, Veronica couldn't take it anymore, but she knew that she would have some pretty big explaining to do if she waltzed in there and started kicking them all around; instead, she quickly tore off her jersey so she only wore a sports bra and hiked her shorts up a little more, showing off her suntanned legs and stood up straight.Well, here goes nothing, Veronica thought as she put on the most horrified expression she could think off and started screaming like a banshee.Her unexpected, and very loud, arrival halted the beating and the kid, Veronica vaguely remembered being named Wallace was dropped and fell to the dusty ground like a sack of potatoes; blood sprouting out of his mouth and nose.Weevil gestured to some of the guys who immediately made their way towards her, and Veronica held up her cell phone, "I've got the cops on the line right now! If you don't get out of here immediately, I'm gonna tell them all about you. I know who you are!"That stopped them dead in the tracks and Veronica was pleased that they had enough sense to respect her threats. That doesn't mean I'm not gonna read their files and get them for this with my F.B.I. resources, she thought vindictively – there was not a lot of things that Veronica hated more than cowards and a group of guys ganging up to beat one lonely boy senseless over something that was no doubt stupid was a coward's way of doing things.Some of her anger and disgust must have bled into her expression, because as she watched, Weevil frowned with narrowed eyes as he stared silently at her for a long while. Eventually, he just shrugged nonchalantly and gestured for the others to leave.Veronica stood immobile until the last bike had roared off into the dark night and then she threw her shut off phone to the ground and ran to the gasping Wallace.She used some of her sadly too limited medical training and assessed the teenager's injuries, vaguely aware out of the corner of her eye that Weevil was bending down to take her phone."Look, Kid, you need more help than I can give you right now," Veronica said soothingly as Wallace whimpered when her fingers gently touched his no doubt burning stomach region. "I'll take you to the hospital as soon as possible, just hang in there.""That was a pretty decent bluff, New Girl," Weevil's voice interrupted Veronica's planning and she turned her head a fraction to stare straight into his eyes without any fear as he waved the shut off cell phone in his hand. "But you really should learn to not interfere when it's not wanted.""It looked like Wallace might want my help," Veronica sassed, getting to her feet in case the Latino was going to try something, "and I just can't help but interfere; it's in my genes, you know."Weevil's eyes glinted with both amusement and something that surprised Veronica; the barest hint of regret. Who knew Mr. Big Shot had the capability for remorse?"Look, there's a lot of stuff going on here that you don't know about, so I'm telling ya…no, I'm asking that you stay out of our business in the future. Fennell here just had to learn his lesson."Veronica crossed her arms and raised her brow in question. "What lesson?"Ten minutes later, Weevil had told Veronica all about Wallace's so called mistake of getting his thieving buddies arrested and he looked like he didn't really know just how she'd wrangled the whole story out of him.Veronica didn't care; she'd always had a tendency to care too much about the little people and despite his height, Wallace was just that in this case and Lilly Kane murder investigation or not, Veronica wanted to help the guy.After Weevil drove off to God only knew where, Veronica called Keith to come pick them up so they could get the teen checked out. Once Keith arrived, it was only a matter of minutes, before they all entered the nearest hospital and called Wallace's mom.On their way home, Keith smiled softly as he listened to Veronica's rant about idiotic people and their cowardice and just like she'd done with Weevil; it only took the older man a little while to get the full story out of her."I'll figure something out. Tell Wallace not to worry about it anymore," was all he eventually stated and Veronica just shook her head fondly.If there was something she could always count on; it was the fact that her uncle was just as willing to go the extra mile for the wronged people. I guess we Mars folk just can't resist a little trouble; Veronica thought and followed Keith into the apartment with a – for once – truly sincere smile.Of course, the smile was wiped off a minute later, when James' texted her to ask how the party was going at Logan's house."Damn it," Veronica cursed and went to her room to try and plan some kind of excuse for missing a perfect opportunity to dive further into the mystery that was Logan Echolls.TBC… ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- CHAPTER FOUR "You know, I'm usually not one of those agents that use their power for personal gain, but right now I'd like to commit murder and get away with it."Veronica waited for her partner to look up at her with his 'teacher' expression on his face, eager to vent some of her frustration even in the midst of their cover. Professional? No, but I'm gonna go insane if I don't blow off some steam, the blonde agent stated mentally as James' face briefly transformed back to her best friend's and not her so called teacher during her detention."Well, Miss Mars," James said just as quiet as she'd been, glancing around to make sure none of the present stoners and/or wanna-be criminals in attendance weren't paying the least bit attention to their conversation. "If that's how you feel, maybe you should fill me in on everything a little more somewhere more private."With those words, the older operative stood up and sent a withering glare out towards the teens in the room, silently promising grave injury if anyone were even thinking about not being there when he returned. After that, he gestured for Veronica to follow him outside the classroom and only when she closed the door after them, did the experienced man break cover."Holy shit, Ronnie; if you're already this close to losing it, it's gotta be worse than I thought. Tell your ol' sexy partner all about it."Veronica rolled her eyes. "It's only 'cause I'm in serious need of your listening ears that I'm not going to hit you for the Ronnie part, you know.""I know, please continue."Veronica sighed and ran a hand through her blonde locks, showing some of her annoyance with everything even as she started telling James about her troubles."After I didn't attend the Echolls house party dealio last week, it's been hell to get back into Logan's good graces. Apparently, despite the whole crap with Duncan Kane being the so called King of Neptune High, they're all really jumping through Logan's hoops and since our primary suspect isn't accepting me these days for 'hurting his itty bitty feelings', no one else is willing to keep me around. Well," Veronica lamented with a weary snort as she continued, "except Dick Cassablancas, but in his defense he came right out and said he'd bang me if I'd let him – as long as we did it secretly and without Logan noticing of course."James chuckled, "Gotta admire a boy with his priorities straight.""Yeah," Veronica sighed, leaning up against the wall. "But it raises some questions.""What kind of questions?""Well for starters," Veronica replied softly, "if the school's willing to obey Logan Echolls to this degree, what won't they do if he tells them to lie or withhold information in the Lilly Kane murder case?""Or," she quickly added when James looked dubiously down at her, "what if he got one of these kids to do his dirty work? I mean, he's got this weird, manipulate ability about him. It's like whatever he says or does is totally okay and you want to be pulled into his gravitational field, but I guess that's understandable, he's the son of Aaron Echolls, who – creepy, cheesy white smile aside – has that same pull about him if you read some of his co-stars' interviews and even though Logan's still just in school he's well on his way to be even better than-""Veronica."The small woman looked back up at her partner, not even realizing that she'd started pacing back and forth like a caged animal. "Yeah?""I mean this in the nicest way possible, but you've completely lost it. What is it with this Echolls kid that's got you so rattled up? I've never seen you act like this, especially not on a case."Veronica swallowed and then sighed heavily. If only I knew, she thought out even as she stated out loud that it was nothing and she was just trying to solve the stupid case so they could go home and relax.James look of doubt didn't waver, but after a long moment where he'd just stood there looking at her, the older man finally copied her weary sigh and spoke again."I totally agree. This teacher business is making me feel old.""You are old," Veronica deadpanned, trying to act normally, but judging from the look James sent her, it wasn't working as well as it usually did."Anyway, you need to keep at it with the 09'ers and eventually Echolls is going to come around. If it helps, I'll assign him detention for some lame ass reason and you can jump in and try unsuccessfully to save him. It's bound to get you back in his good graces. At least I think so, it always seem to work in those chick flick movies my ex-wife hounded me to watch with her."Contemplating the suggestion for a moment, Veronica ended up vetoing the idea. "I don't think it'll work in the long run. No," she straightened back up, trying to get her equilibrium back, "I'm just going to stalk him and keep up the 'dumb blonde' deal until he deems me worthy of another invite or something. I'm gonna go home and sleep so I'll be fully prepared for my stupid teen act tomorrow. Enjoy your time with the kiddies, Oldie."Veronica grinned and dodged the (hopefully) playful punch James tried to give her and then she broke into a relieving laugh when she heard him re-enter the classroom and roar something that a boring, Saturday detention teacher really wasn't supposed to say to impressionable youth. 0o0o0 Maybe James' idea wasn't such a bad one after all, Veronica thought sourly a few days later.She'd spent quite a lot of time acting like the ignorant, fashion interested blonde that she really wasn't and eying Logan and his fellow 09'ers with a fake look of insipid longing, but to no avail.Logan was plain out ignoring her whenever she was flirting with the always willing Dick, he didn't even acknowledge her when she'd taken things a step further and tried to talk to the always quiet Duncan Kane that Logan almost seemed protective of.It was now lunchtime and the 09'er group were sitting and enjoying take out lunch from somewhere that Veronica didn't know and she was sitting by one of the tables just outside of the group, acting like the wanna-be popular girl she'd always loathed with a passion when she'd been in high school for real."You shouldn't care so much about them," a voice said and Veronica looked up into Meg's solemn looking face. "They're not really worth it.""That's easy for you to say," Veronica retorted, the very picture of desperately seeking popularity on her face as she added acidly. "Everyone just loves you."Meg smiled faintly and took a seat next to her, and getting away with it without any repercussions due to being just so damn sweet that it made Veronica's teeth ache. "Despite the fact that I like them, I'm not blind to their faults. And," Meg's eyes narrowed a bit as she continued, "and contrary to what everyone thinks, I'm not as stupid as my hair color suggests and neither are you, so stop acting like being a follower is all you want, Veronica when it's obvious that you're not like that."Damn, years of training and successful operations and this little teenage girl reads me like a children's book, Veronica thought, trying with everything in her not to let her growing displeasure show. It was more important than ever to keep acting like the vapid cheerleader that desperately wanted to be cool.Meg waited a few moments for Veronica to reply, but when nothing came; she just sighed and stood back up with an open smile. "I'll see you at practice tomorrow – we really need to get the new routine down soon before the next game so we can add to it a little."Veronica nodded numbly and watched as her fellow blonde made her way over to the table to her dark haired boyfriend, who was laughing at something that Dick had said. Rolling her eyes, Veronica perused the 09'er group as discreetly as she could. In the next second though, Veronica's eyes suddenly locked with Logan's and she froze completely.It was like his stare was commanding her ability to control her own body and she was simply unable to look away. Again, it was as if the world tilted on its axel as the stare kept going, as the air around her became electrifying and hot and when the hazel eyed student finally looked away to answer a question that Duncan had asked, Veronica's mind resurfaced with a resounding bang. It was then thatshe admitted something quite horrible to herself, something that at the same time as her heart pounded with shock answered all of her confused questions as to why she was having so much trouble on this undercover case. Holy shit…I'm attracted to him! 0o0o0 TBC… ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- CHAPTER FIVE "You're really starting to get on my nerves."Veronica looked up from the paper she was doodling inane things on; as she pretended to not pay the least bit attention to the lecturing teacher in front of the class, because algebra was just too hard for the supposedly less than smart blonde to grasp.She locked eyes with Logan Echolls of all people, and had to fight back the sudden urge to fidget uncomfortably. Veronica hadn't quite come to terms with the fact that she was extremely attracted to the (much!) younger boy yet - and to be honest, if only to herself, she doubted that it'd ever happen to be something she'd feel relaxed about."Uhm, sorry?" was all she ended up saying, as she took great care to blink stupidly, twirling a piece of hair around her manicured finger at the same time.Logan rolled his eyes and leaned a bit closer, so as not to be overheard. "You're annoying. And I keep asking myself why you're acting dumber than a hillbilly on crack, when it's obvious to anyone taking the time to see that you're way more intelligent than you let on."Well, you see, Veronica thought dryly as she tried not noticing the pleasant smell of his aftershave and that special scent that was all him, it's actually the first time ever someone has ever seen so completely through my skills that I don't really know what to say to that…Now kiss me and let's blow this joint.The last stray thought entered Veronica's mind and she shook her head violently to get the imagery out of her mind, accidentally smacking her head into Logan's, who was still leaning close to her.They both yelped and Veronica fell backwards, clutching her aching forehead while Logan cursed loudly enough to disrupt the class."Miss Mars, Mr. Echolls," the teacher droned on, barely managing a heated glare at the disruption, "I understand that this may seem difficult for you since you tend to spend a lot of your miniscule intelligence on avoiding an honest day's work, but you will be graded on this eventually…"Logan raised his eyebrows with a fake look of surprise, "Whoa, that's like a big insult you just said; it's not nice to ridicule children for their lack of…help me out here, Ronnie," he glanced at Veronica, who couldn't help herself from following the 09'er's lead."Total lack of like…smart people's germs," she said, doing her best to look as stupid as possible – which to be honest was something that Veronica did very well when she put her mind to it.The teacher groaned and just waved them off, obviously way too tired and worn out to even bother with their shenanigans.Grinning, Veronica met Logan's eyes a moment later and froze at the gaze he sent her. "What?""Like I said, you're really annoying."In that moment, the bell rang and saved the blonde undercover female from sprouting some very not pleasant comebacks and she fumingly watched the younger male grab his stuff and exit the classroom with his usual understated elegance that seemed to get Veronica's radar all up and running."Stupid boy," she muttered as she absentmindedly threw her own stuff haphazardly into her bag, "you're the annoying one with your eyes and your voice and-""Talking to yourself is usually a sign of insanity," an unfamiliar voice cut through Veronica's pouting and she blinked back to the present with a small jolt of guilt.It was the girl that James had somehow enlisted as his aide during their mission; her blue-streaked hair easily recognizable."Oh…hi," in her mind, Veronica was wondering if James had let the brunette girl in on his partner's whereabouts during the whole operation, but a moment later, the girl spoke and solidified everything."I'm Mac, your partner seems to get a kick out of using my birth name, but call me Cindy and I don't care how much trouble I get into, when I make your life a living hell."Veronica smirked, letting the I.Q. points return to her body language as she leaned casually on the table she'd just vacated. "Noted and may I just add, I think I like you a little bit."Mac frowned briefly, but then her brown eyes softened and she returned Veronica's smirk. "I'm sorry to interrupt whatever it was you had going on, but," here they both pretended that Veronica's heated cheeks were a result of the room's temperature and not her very visible embarrassment, "well…I was told a little need-to-know about you and after my own digging, I thought we should all know where we stand. I hate not being able to speak freely with people.""Again, I can only say noted," said Veronica as she straightened up after one long searching look into the other girl's eyes. "I hope you understand the part where you kinda have to speak in code every now and again; national security and all that humbug."Mac smiled with a nod and slung her own worn looking bag over her shoulder, "Well, not that standing here and chatting isn't the highlight of my otherwise wonderful day, I have to go to my next class. Apparently, the youth today can't live without their skulls being drilled with oh-so-useful knowledge of geometry."Veronica followed the gothic looking girl out of the class, feeling kinda sad that Mac hadn't been born a few years earlier, because something told her that they'd have been great friends. 0o0o0 It was a few days later, and Veronica was ready to tear her hair out. Not because of the case, no for once things were looking up. James had – in cooperation with his new prodigy, Mac – somehow figured out that Lilly Kane's time of death had been wrongly timed due to some photos of her driving in the time span where she was supposedly being killed.So on the work front things were working out nicely, even if the suspicion that Veronica had had towards Logan had only increased. No, her personal feelings for the guy she was meant to be proving was a murderer were slowly interfering with her ability to keep herself in line.More and more often, she found herself staring at the young multimillionaire's son when he was goofing around with his fellow wealthy friends. Or even when he was acting like an idiot, like when he mocked some of the not so rich people. It just seemed like her eyes were drawn to him and unable to look anywhere else if she wasn't careful.And as it turned out, Veronica hadn't been nearly as careful as she'd thought because one day, in the middle of lunchtime, Logan's most devoted follower, Dick sauntered over with his usual swagger and a big grin on his tanned face."Aw come on Newbie, he's just not that into you."Veronica flinched and looked over at the table where Logan was to see if he'd heard before she looked back up at Dick. She kept her silly smile on her face to keep in character, but on the inside she was seething and on the edge of committing a very painful act towards her fellow blond.I must keep up my cover. I must not kill the aggravating teenager. I must keep my cover. Veronica chanted mentally, even as she tilted her head a little and widened her eyes. "Who? If you're talking about Logan, I'm just so totally into his style. I've been meaning to bring it up, where do you all shop for clothes? I mean, my uncle is like a total bore when it comes to fashion and even though I keep telling him that plaid was sooo last…well, a lot years ago, he just- wait, where are you going Dickie?"Dick had quickly lost his smile at the words that kept spilling, just like Veronica had intended and he'd retreated back to his own circle of friends like a good little boy. Mission accomplished, Veronica gloated.And then a shadow fell over her as she'd turned to her tray of barely edible food. She didn't need to look to recognize the person; his delicious scent washed over her and made Veronica feel both delightfully alive and yet so incredibly perverted for feeling said attraction in the first place."Hiya Logan," none of Veronica's internal struggle was visible as she eventually lifted her head, unable to act as if she hadn't seen him anymore, "do you need anything? I mean, I hope I wasn't being annoying or anything, but now that I have you, could you by any chance let me in your clothes…I mean, let me in on where you buy your clothes?"Logan didn't move a muscle and not for the first time, Veronica realized that the teenager in front of her was a lot older in spirit than in years. He had this look in his eyes that told its own story about haunting memories and experiences, but for some reason he tried to hide it from his fellow students.She was so engrossed in trying to figure out why he was so different than his peers in his own subtle way that when Logan actually spoke, she didn't catch it the first time."I'm sorry, can you repeat that? I…uhm, got my hair done yesterday and I think the blow-dryer ruptured something inside me, 'cause I've been having trouble hearing since then. I mean, you can totally ask Mr. Pierson, 'cause he had to repeat everything several times today and it was just so irritating and not funny so I don't get why people were laughing at me in the end and-""Veronica." Logan interrupted quietly and she bit her lip, hating the small tell of her inexplicable nerves."Yeah?""Please shut up.""…""Thank you." And with that last comment, the object of Veronica's very secret desires just turned and left, leaving the blonde in a rage that she didn't manage to shake off in time for gym where she ended up breaking a girl named Madison Sinclear's nose during some attempt at volleyball. 0o0o0 "I can't believe you're making me do this," Veronica murmured as she parked her car in front of a certain rich boy's mansion. Or, in actuality it was behind a line of much fancier vehicles all parked in the Echolls' driveway."Cheer up, Mars," James' distinctive voice echoed through her barely visible earpiece as she got out of the car, trying not to trip on the nine inch bimbo heels that he'd all but ordered her into when he'd forced her to undergo this stupid idea. "Just be grateful, I'm here to brighten up your evening so you won't be tempted to partake in underage drinking; you are just a little girl after all.""Eat me," Veronica growled, glaring at a drunken couple stumbling by that she vaguely recognized from the few lunches she'd managed to eat with the 09'er group before Logan booted her out."I'd love to," James snarked and then he burst into big guffaws of laughter when Veronica pretended to gag at the very suggestion.A moment later though, Veronica was full on back in character as she made her way through the open door and through the throng of people that were busy grinding, drinking and just having way too much fun for their age group if one asked the small F.B.I. agent."What are you doing here?"Veronica turned to look into Madison Sinclair's eyes that had a dark ring around them, going under the nose bandage she had on, courtesy of Veronica. The agent tried not enjoying the view of the stuck up blonde, who seemed to revel in other people's misfortune, but judging from the sneer on the other girl's face, Veronica doubted that she was a hundred percent successful. Oh well. "I'm enjoying one of Logan's infamous parties," Veronica finally replied with her dumb blonde smile beaming proudly on her lips. "It's so cool here! Now, I'm gonna go get a drink, but thanks for welcoming me, Maddie. You're always so sweet."Veronica took a lot of delight in the appalled look that the shallow, bitchy girl sent her way, but pretended that she didn't – she was the adult one after all…"Damn it, Ronnie; go back, I want me some girlfighting."Clearly, the other adult hiding in a van outside wasn't going to be one despite being thirty-four years old and supposedly the mature one...Ignoring her childish partner, Veronica discreetly looked around her to take in all the elements going on, even as she giggled cutely as she grabbed a plastic cup filled to the brim with beer from a passing "classmate", whose name she didn't remember. She still had a cover to maintain.It took a little time, but eventually, the blonde located Logan. He was leaning casually up against the wall, next to a huge poster from one of his father's endless number of movies. The sight of him sent a spike of something that Veronica didn't really try to decipher, down her spine; mostly due to the fact that she was busy glaring daggers through Caitlin Ford's head.What he sees in her, I'll never understand, Veronica thought, gritting her teeth when the other blonde leaned forward and let her overly manicured hands travel sensually down Logan's chest, stopping just short of it being indecent.Before she even realized she was doing it, Veronica had made her way through the crowd and stopped short right next to the pair.Caitlin's upturned nose at the interruption didn't look all that appealing on her, but Veronica reveled in it for some odd reason."Excuse us, New Girl," Caitlin hissed, clearly trying to use her height as a means of intimidation. Considering that only three days before coming to Neptune, Veronica had cuffed a guy thrice the other girl's size, it wasn't really having any affect on her."You're excused," said Veronica, ignoring James' snort in her earpiece. "Anyway, Logan, I kinda wanted to talk with you for a little bit. Is there someplace we could do that? You know," she eyed Caitlin quickly, "privately."Logan eyed her with a thoughtful expression on his face, like her completely ignoring the dramatic gasp that his so called girlfriend let out at Veronica's request. After a long moment, he simply nodded and told her to follow him to somewhere secluded.James chuckled through the line as Veronica quickly followed the rich heir and she promised herself to remind her partner just who it was that could get away with being cheeky in their relationship. A hint? It wasn't him, that's for sure.Veronica frowned as she walked behind the larger boy, who didn't seem to acknowledge any of his guest and/or friends, even when they called out to him as he passed them all by. I wonder why he's even throwing a party when he's clearly not bursting with positive feelings for his supposed friends.Veronica was so deep in thought that she didn't realize that the object of her thoughts had stopped abruptly, until she rammed into his back."Damn it Mars, watch it," growled Logan, his harsh tone belittling the gentle grip he had on her waist to keep her upright as she started tumbling backwards.The feeling of his warm hands on her body, did weird things to Veronica, that she tried her hardest to ignore, because he was just a case; nothing more.Yeah, right, Veronica's inner devil smirked, keep telling yourself that, Sweetheart.Logan's hissed curse brought the befuddled agent back to her senses and she looked up when his hands vanished and he turned towards the half opened door to an extravagant looking pool house. "You kinky bastards, get the fuck out of there before I drag you out and drown you in the fucking pool!""Chill Dude," came a familiar voice and Veronica rolled her eyes behind Logan's turned back. Why am I even surprised? She wondered as she watched in silence as a half naked Dick came tumbling out of the pool house with an equally half naked girl behind him that was definitely not Madison."I'll chill when you get the hell out of my place; I swear if I find a used rubber in there, I'm billing you for the entire party clean up."Dick just grinned; he even had the audacity to wink at Veronica, who at this point couldn't quite stop her lips from twitching a bit.Eventually the horndog that was actually one of Logan's best friends for some odd reason that neither Veronica nor James and their shared talent in profiling could figure out entirely, left and Logan dragged Veronica inside the pool house.Aside from a huge, slightly rumbled bed in the middle of the room, it didn't seem like Dick's escapades had polluted the place, so Veronica exhaled in relief even as Logan cursed a little and then, with a surprising amount of savvy, made the bed back to perfection.At Veronica's questioning look, he actually seemed a little embarrassed as he shrugged. "This is my dad's favorite place in the whole house; I'm not really allowed in here on most days. I guess one of the cleaners didn't remember to lock up behind them…"Judging from the tone in Logan's voice, Veronica had a pretty good idea of what would happen to the person who'd forgotten to lock up; and it wasn't exactly a promotion."So…uhm…" Logan hesitated, something that wasn't like him from what Veronica had gathered; "what is it you wanted to talk to me about?"Shit, Veronica briefly panicked, realizing way too late that she hadn't really come up with a decent excuse. Fortunately in these types of scenarios, it was always nice to have a helping hand from an outside agent."Don't wait for my help, Princess," came James' 'help', "I ain't got no clue what kind of excuse Rich Boy will swallow; you're the one who knows him the best."In light of the less than helpful advice, Veronica's instincts took over and she stepped closer to the guy, who'd all but invaded her thoughts recently. "I think we need to talk about…about everything."Logan frowned, obviously not really buying her sudden flirting, but he didn't say anything out loud.Sighing heavily with a small pout, Veronica looked up at Logan through her lashes, making sure to blink a little too excessively for it to be perfectly natural. It was a trick she'd learned on one of her first undercover missions and it'd helped her great so far.Except for now, of course since Logan didn't move a muscle as he just kept eying her carefully, waiting for some kind of elaboration. What do I do? What do I do? Veronica chanted frantically inwardly and then she did the only thing that she had promised herself never to do on a job. Something Veronica suspected more than knew would spell big trouble for her.She catapulted forward and slanted her lips over Logan's in a warm, sloppy, half openmouthed kiss that knocked the breath out of her immediately.TBC… ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- CHAPTER SIX Veronica realized that she'd made a terrible mistake, the moment she'd tried ending the kiss and for some inexplicable reason found herself completely unable to.Never in all her life, through numerous life or death missions, had the tiny blonde ever come so close to losing her sense of self. And she just didn't care, too caught up in the electrifying feelings Logan had awakened within her to give it more than a passing thought.In the end, it wasn't James' continued yelling for her to stop through the comm. link, nor was it Veronica's guilt of breaking protocol, no; it was Logan himself when he suddenly let her lips go and started roaring some rather impressive insults at an unknown couple that apparently had wanted to use the pool house for a bit of fun themselves.Veronica tried catching her breath as Logan's warmth left her; somehow they'd ended up on the huge bed in their hurry. All her intelligence came pouring back in a rush and she kept on ignoring James' curses as she tried getting herself together again, before Logan returned to finish what she'd started.She just lied there, unmoving for a moment, looking up at the fan slowly twirling around as it hung down from the ceiling and that's when Veronica noticed something."James," she whispered, peering upwards more closely, "did you bug the pool house?""-of all the idiotic things you've ever done, this definitely – wait, what?" James cut off another longwinded insult and Veronica tried again."See that camera up there," she pointed discreetly, despite the fact that Logan was busy with the two would-be lovers, "did you do that or order it done without my knowledge?"There was a long moment of silence, before James denied knowing about it, and then added seriously, "It's from its own power source, so I can't hack into it to see that it's filmed so far, but," here Veronica heard the telltale sound of keys being pushed on as James did his thing, "but currently, it's working like an ordinary camera – you're sounding a little flushed there Mars." James taunted, apparently his good mood restored, now that Veronica wasn't locking lips with their main suspect.The blonde agent didn't bother defending herself, instead soldiering on as though her partner hadn't spoken."I need to search the premises for tapes," she muttered and glanced around, her blue eyes landing on a dark brown cabinet that seemed locked and thus was the most obvious place to start.Unfortunately, before Veronica got the chance to really snoop, Logan returned.Like her, he too looked a little flushed still, his lips swollen from their earlier activity and Veronica felt an unexpected strong surge of possessiveness at the sight.That of course freaked the young agent out more than anything and she just kept staring wide-eyed up at Logan for several minutes.He ended up breaking the tense silence with a small bitter sounding chuckle. "You look absolutely petrified," he stated, running a hand through the mussed up hair that Veronica vaguely remembered running her fingers through as they made their way to the bed."I have to go," she blurted out, already moving to get off of the bed, but Logan's grip on her shoulder froze her mid-movement."What happened while I was gone?"Thinking fast, Veronica said the first thing that popped into her mind, "You've got a girlfriend. Logan…It wouldn't be…err…honorable to…we really shouldn't have…I've gotta go!"Before Logan could do much more than frown, Veronica had slipped out of his grip and out was out the door. 0o0o0 It took two days of massive avoidance and a lot of utilizing her best undercover abilities, but Logan eventually stopped trying to talk to her. Veronica was very relieved with that. She was.Thankfully, James kept Veronica too distracted to mope around. Instead of trying to figure out what was going on with his partner and their suspect, who really was too young to be as experienced as he seemed to be, James forced her to find a way to break into the Echolls' pool house.The two agents both agreed that it was something worth looking into, despite its grey areas in the legal apartment, because they'd quickly come to realize that the Lilly Kane murder case was a lot less simple than they'd first believed.Finally, Veronica and James got a decent plan together and they waited for the night where the 09'ers announced a huge party in Dick Cassablancas' house that was supposed to rival one of Logan's.That, of course had to be seen and disproven, so Veronica knew that Logan and his cronies…err, friends, were definitely going to show up and thus leave the Echolls mansion empty.It was a little after midnight, when Veronica pulled into the street where the mansion was located and quietly got out of her car. James was sitting in a rusty looking van a half a mile away, tinkering and tweaking with the several security features that the Echolls' had in their home.A half an hour later, Veronica finally got to her destination and was frowning at the cabinet in front of her. What if I find something that'll give me the ultimate proof that Logan killed that poor girl?The thought of Logan being guilty had begun eating away at Veronica whenever she wasn't careful, and the whole deal about being very attracted to a murderer just didn't sit right with her. There was a tiny part of Veronica, that knew that she wasn't just attracted to the Echolls heir, but she wasn't ready to admit to it yet, let alone understand it, so she shrugged off her thoughts and focused on the task at hand.A few minutes later, Veronica had found the tapes and was idly watching them on the VCR that was beneath the TV that was in the pool house for some reason."Holy," she began, in tandem with James, who was watching every scene unfold through the tiny camera she was wearing in her necklace, "shit."She'd only watched a few minutes so far, but it immediately started with Logan's father, Aaron and his relations with a girl that most certainly wasn't his wife. It was a girl, who couldn't be older than fifteen and the thought sickened the female F.B.I agent for two reasons.One, it was just wrong; plain and simple and two, in some ways she was just as bad as Aaron. Her feelings for his son and their earlier tryst in the very same room that he'd been doing that, was suddenly stomach-turning."You're not like that," James' for once somber voice suddenly echoed in her ear, as she was staring transfixed on the image of the world known actor busy getting fellatio from a girl, whose choking sounds didn't make it seem all that enjoyable to her."I'm attracted to a seventeen year old boy," Veronica muttered, forcing down the bile that rose up in her as the actor on the screen started having intercourse with the unknown girl, who clearly wasn't enjoying herself as much as he was, "It's disgusting.""…" James' silence was heavy for a moment, before he sighed wearily. "Look, it's not exactly a good thing on your record, I mean, if the kid was eighteen, it wouldn't matter, but seriously, Mars; put that crap out of your mind for now and focus on the job, all right?"Veronica smiled a small smile, before taking a deep breath and doing what she was told, because really, there wasn't anything else she could do right now about Logan and her. She started going through the tapes methodically, trying to decipher the markings that was scrawled on them to see if she could figure out which tapes to watch in her no doubt limited time there."Trust your gut, Girly Girl," Veronica muttered, when she traced each tape with her glove clad finger. It was a gift that had helped the blonde more times than one over the years and she wasn't about to ignore it, when she had a weird inkling to pick up the innocent looking tape that was labeled L. &A.Veronica was just about to put the tape into the machine, when she heard a noise from the outside. Within seconds, she'd stuck the tape in the waistline of her pants, closed the cabinet and hid under the bed.Fortunately, it was just in the nick of time to avoid being spotted by the person who entered the pool house. Veronica breathed as quietly and evenly as she could even as equal parts of adrenaline and fear rushed at her senses. Also, she thought, trying to recapture some of her usual sass, someone's gotta tell Logan's maids that they need to clean under the bed, 'cause damn…"Wow, Mr. Echolls," an slightly familiar voice crooned, distracting Veronica from the rising urge to sneeze. "This is such a cool place, a lot more awesome than my parents'." A heartbeat passed and then Veronica saw another pair of feet, this time clad in no doubt very expensive heels and she suddenly got a very bad feeling about what was about to happen, when the male, Aaron Echolls, chuckled seductively and walked closer to the bed.In order to stay undetected, Veronica did the only thing she could do; stayed as still as she possibly could and prayed fervently for deafness or death, whatever came first. She wasn't picky. 0o0o0 Sometime later, Veronica had established that not only was Aaron Echolls a rough lover, but his current female companion was none other than Madison Sinclair, Neptune High's current Head Bitch in charge after Lilly Kane's death."Are you sure?" James asked as he picked her up just as the dawn light started breaking through the darkness of the night.Rolling her eyes, Veronica leaned her head back on the headrest. "Yeah, it's kinda hard to miss since there was a lot of moaning of names going on, as I'm sure you loved hearing."James grinned, and reached out to ruffle Veronica's dust covered hair, "Well, I was trying to be a gentleman and not listen in. Besides," he kept on going when Veronica snorted with disbelief, "I was chatting with Cindy about some stuff that needed looking into. I'm telling ya, that kid is either gonna be an evil genius or elevate the good guys completely some day.""You do know she's gonna kill you some day if you don't stop calling her Cindy," Veronica pointed out, already half-asleep after her long night. The last thing she heard was James' answering chuckle and then she was sound asleep.When she woke up, Veronica was lying in her bed in her Uncle Keith's apartment. Disoriented, she lay blinking for a few moments, before she remembered the previous evening. I'm never gonna be able to look Madison in the eyes again, Veronica thought with a small shudder, I didn't need to know that she liked spanking and the word 'Daddy' so much. Yuck.The shudder jostled Veronica a little, and that's when she felt an uncomfortable pain in her lower back and recalled the videotape she'd managed to sneak out when she'd tip-toed out of the pool house after Aaron had seen Madison out."Better get the nausea out of my system, before I attempt anything edible," Veronica muttered as she reluctantly put in the tape in the old VCR that stood next to an even older TV in her room. She pressed play and hoped for the best.A few minutes later, Veronica was watching with slack jawed shock as her murder victim got it on with the main suspect's father, and judging from the ease they shared it was obvious that it wasn't the only time those two had shared a secret rendezvous.Before too many minutes had passed, Veronica paused the tape and got up to call James. From experience, she knew that Keith had left the apartment; engrossed as he was in his work, so she didn't bother cleaning herself up before walking out to the small kitchen area to begin making something to eat. She just quickly changed into some of her oldest, most comfortable clothes and called it a day."Well, well, well; if it isn't Sleeping Beauty herself," James' drawl was teasing and Veronica looked out the window next to her with a smile on her lips."Well, indeed. Judging from the fact that it's beginning to darken outside, I'd say I've only slept most of the day and not a hundred years, but I do love it when you embellish.""Yeah, yeah, Ronnie; so…" James' tone turned serious and Veronica automatically straightened her posture."What?""The bug in Echolls Junior's car, a.k.a Loverboy from this moment on, just indicated that he started moving." Veronica groaned softly in annoyance; no matter how grave things got, she could always count on a little mockery from her oh so devoted partner."And?" It shouldn't really surprise him so much, since Logan was a very active 09'er with a lot of social calls or whatever it was they called it these days. Veronica swallowed down a pang of jealousy of the thought of one of those visits he made was to Caitlin Ford."And, Miss Thing," James answered, "he's moving towards you…aaand, he's just stopped outside the apartment building; so I'd do some quick damage control of your room." He ended the call and Veronica scrambled into her room to hide all the evidence of her real life.The weapons were stuffed underneath the bed, so was her surveillance equipment and in-between that, Veronica desperately tried making herself look a little fresher than she felt. She ran a hand through her sleep ruffled hair and bemoaned the fact that she hadn't changed into something a little more…well, pretty. She was wearing an ugly pair of shorts that really should've been burned long ago and a tank top that she'd gotten from James for a birthday a few years back. It always left Veronica wondering if James had been to Hooters to procure it; it was that tight over the chest area.Just as Veronica ran up to the door, it rang and she eliminated the feeling as if she'd forgotten something and greeted Logan with the biggest, most insincere smile that she had in her arsenal."Logan…Hi."The look of pure befuddlement on Logan's face, made Veronica feel extremely embarrassed, but she fought through it and kept that insane grin on her face just in case he was there to seek confrontation."What's up?""We kinda need to talk, don't you think?" Logan replied, stepping over the threshold to the Mars apartment without any signs of superiority on his face at the sight of a much lesser luxurious setting than he was used to. For some reason, that caused something to flutter briefly in Veronica's stomach, but again, she pushed it away and tried her damndest not to blow the whole operation by jumping the suspect of their ongoing murder investigation."Sure…let me get you something to drink first though, okay?" Veronica all but ran to the refrigerator and ripped out a chilled soda, which she smacked down on the table with a lot more force than was actually needed. "Whoopsies," Veronica muttered, her face hot as she handed the beverage to the bemused boy eying her with a smile.A moment later, the smile vanished, when Logan opened the soda and was doused with its content due to Veronica's less than gentle handling of it. "Shit," he cursed and started wiping down his now soaked shirt. "I'm just gonna need to use your restroom for a bit to clean up," he added with a lot more civility than Veronica felt she deserved as she pointed him in the right direction.As she waited, Veronica resisted her sudden need to either flee or smash her head down into the counter top repeatedly. "What's wrong with me?" she muttered unhappily just as she heard her name being called harshly from her room."Logan, who do you think you are, going into…my…room…?" Veronica halted at the sight in front of her as she stood in the doorway to said room. Logan was standing, wearing only a wife-beater that looked extremely well on him, but for once, Veronica's untimely hormones didn't register completely within her. Not entirely at least.No, it was mostly due to the fact that Logan stood with his arms crossed staring straight at the screen of her small TV that had been paused right during a scene where Aaron Echolls was obviously pounding into a clearly willing Lilly Kane from behind."Logan…" Veronica trailed off, unable to continue when Logan's darkened eyes snapped over to her."Who the hell are you?"Veronica's heart beat faster and faster and she really wanted to answer Logan's question, but for some reason, she couldn't get her mouth to say anything other than his name."Logan…"TBC… ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- CHAPTER SEVEN Veronica lost track at how long she just stood there, staring dumbfounded up at the student that she'd developed something for. She still refused to acknowledge completely what that was exactly. Instead, she just stood there and tried to come up with the best answer to his question.She debated whether or not to just knock him out, claiming that he'd somehow dreamt everything when he came too and she'd resumed her ditzy persona; she even wondered if she could call upon a higher power to step in before she had to do something drastic.In the end though, Veronica settled on a version of the truth that she hoped Logan would accept, because she really didn't want to put him through interrogation for knowing too much."I noticed a camera in the pool house that day and…Well, I couldn't not snoop around, 'cause," here, Veronica's voice took on the tone of the character she'd painstakingly created when she entered Neptune High and continued with a fake look of outrage, "I totally thought you were gonna videotape me and that's like so nasty, Logan. Like totally.""Save the Valley Girl routine for someone who believes in it," Logan barked and Veronica instinctively took a step back at the harsh tone in his voice. "I know you're not telling me everything Veronica, but so help me God, you're gonna tell me why you're watching a sextape of my dead girlfriend and my father!""Logan!" Veronica dodged when he lunged for her, probably to drag her into her room, and automatically slipped him up by putting out her leg in his way and he toppled to the floor inelegantly. Veronica immediately jumped on top of his back, holding him immobile by using some of her martial arts knowledge."Please relax!" she practically begged even as the boy kept trying to escape her iron grip, "I wish I could tell you, I really do, but please you have to trust me!""Get off me!" Logan roared, twisting around and trying to buck her off with limited success. In the end all that happened was that his shirt rid up and exposed a little of his muscular back.Veronica held tight, but her eyes inevitably wandered down to the bared skin and she barely managed to hold back a gasp at the sight in front of her. She used her free hand to gently trace the ugly welt that she could see and with narrowed eyes she removed Logan's t-shirt a bit more, ignoring the way his struggles intensified.His back was a mess and it was a testament to his pain tolerance that he hadn't cried out in agony at her weight on him, let alone her grip on his upper body. "Logan…" Veronica whispered and tried connecting the dots to the best of her abilities. It wasn't until the Echolls heir murmured something about a normal parental punishment that everything fell into place."That bastard," she hissed and quickly jumped off of Logan, who remained where he was, face hidden in the carpet as if he suddenly wanted to bury himself in it and escape what would have to come next. "I'm gonna kill him."Forgotten were all her worries about the truth, she was being consumed by protective rage and Veronica was already planning out how to get to Aaron Echolls the next time they met. Of course, just because she was no longer worried about what to derail Logan with, the young man himself wasn't about to be deterred even though one of his darkest secrets was suddenly out in the open."Not before you tell me why the hell you were watching that in there!" Logan sat back up, pointing in the direction of her room without looking away from her.It was the steely eyed glare that barely hid his personal embarrassment that somehow managed to cool Veronica's temper somewhat back down again and she just plumbed down on the carpet in front of Logan with a groan of frustration."What's it gonna take for you to believe that I really can't tell you?""You have to tell me, 'cause it's my dad screwing my dead girlfriend!" Logan roared, biting his lip and wincing when he moved forward in his anger and obviously aggravated his back injuries which Veronica had intensified with her manhandling.The guilt washed over the young agent, and she quickly jumped forward to do something to help him out, but Logan batted her attempts away and kept glaring at her, clearly not about to leave things well enough alone despite the pleas she'd been spewing.Finally, Veronica snapped, foregoing years of training and knowledge in a fit of anger. "I can't tell you anything 'cause it's my job to prove that you killed her!"Logan froze as did Veronica the moment the words left her mouth. How long the two of them stood staring at one another wasn't something she could keep track of right then; in fact, all she was thinking was, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, on repeat in her head.Eventually, Logan straightened up and the look in his eyes seemed to portray that her callous words had somehow shattered him, hurt him and Veronica wanted nothing else but sooth the hurt she'd poured on him, but wasn't quite sure how to."Logan…I…" She began, but Logan's face closed at the sound of her voice and he turned to leave."I don't want to hear it, Veronica. If that's even your name," he added coldly as he stood in the doorway. "I can't believe I liked…"Logan's last words disappeared as he slammed the door and vanished as quickly as he'd come.Veronica slid down to the floor, hoping that she'd wake up soon. Praying silently that what had just happened had just been a bizarre dream.About fifteen minutes later, her cell phone rang and Veronica forced herself back into the real world when she recognized James' name on the display."So what's the scoop, Ronnie? I've been waiting like a dog for a treat.""I…" Veronica's voice broke and she cleared it to try again, but it was suddenly impossible to speak through the guilt filled lump in her throat."Veronica? What's wrong?" James' tone turned serious in a heartbeat; he was a player and liked to have a lot of fun, but when it came down to it, James really was one of the best agents out there and Veronica's best friend."I've messed up," she blurted out, unknowingly biting her lip and looking more like a teenager than ever before.The sigh on the other end of the line was heavy, but James sounded gentle when he replied, "Let's meet and talk it out." Veronica nodded even though her partner couldn't see her and agreed to his directions before ending the call. 0o0o0 "Yeah, we're totally screwed."Veronica rolled her eyes, feeling a lot calmer now that she'd finally revealed her blunder. "Don't hold back what you really think."James shrugged, gulping down the rest of his coffee before speaking again, this time more serious, "You're skating on the edge of disaster, Mars. If I'd been a proper agent I'd have to report it and you for-""I know, but thankfully you're not a proper agent." Veronica interjected, adding softly, "and by that I mean you're an awesome dude.""Look it's not right Veronica, I mean things aside, I'm happy that somebody tickled your fancy but still, it's not exactly an uncomplicated person you've thrown your attention at. I mean, he's a murder suspect for crying out loud.""That's what you're focusing on?" Veronica frowned. "Not that I blurted out that I'm not the idiotic blonde cheerleader I'm undercover as, but the fact that I…" she glanced around and then leaned forward to mutter reluctantly, "are having feelings for Logan?"James grinned cheekily and Veronica had to repress the urge to smack him over the head; he may be her senior and a brilliant operative but in moments like these she felt like the older one."Absolutely Sweetcheeks. I mean, I gotta admit that I thought you were a lesbo from time to time given your lack of interest in yours truly, but…Aw screw it; I know you don't let yourself feel all that often and then to turn around and discover that some punk's got you all up in a knot is kinda hilarious. Dangerous for your job and future of course, but really funny too.""Logan's not a punk," was Veronica brilliant reply and she groaned and took a sip of her own now cold coffee to stop herself from spewing less than intelligent comments like that one again. But still, she wasn't unaware of the way James' eyes were serious beneath his carefree expression and she loved him for so very clearly choosing her side even if he didn't quite understand it.And that's the only reason I'm not throwing my coffee at him right now, Veronica thought when James wiggled his bushy eyebrows with a leer on his face."Come on, we've gotta figure something out, you big pervert, so focus!" Veronica screamed when James didn't let up after a few minutes. That of course brought every other patron of the café's attention on her and she groaned again and slammed her head down on the table."Just shoot me now," she murmured unhappily."Now where's the fun in that, Ronnie?" James asked and then mock gasped with indignation when Veronica's middle finger popped up to make a very unbecoming, but very efficient statement."Now that's just rude, is what that is," James grinned and called their waiter over for another cup of coffee. 0o0o0 It was a few days after Veronica's run in with Logan and she'd been walking on eggshells ever since she'd come back from talking things out with James and it was beginning to take its toll on the tiny blonde.She was juggling her guilt from both lying to Logan and yet revealing something so secret as well, the fact that the tape proved that there seemed to be a pretty big motive for him to kill Lilly Kane. Her trying to prove without a shadow of a doubt that he really was as innocent as she now believed him to be (his shocked and betrayed expression that day was clearly truthful because no one was that great an actor). Her tailing of Aaron Echolls so she could catch him hurting his son and thus make the bastard pay and then to top it all off, just keeping up her role as the cheerful Veronica Mars; cheerleader extraordinaire and dumb, somewhat slutty blonde.Sometimes she just wanted to go to sleep and tune out the rest of the world."Don't take this the wrong way, Veronica; but you look like crap."Veronica started out of her thoughts, looking over at the girl speaking to her. It was Mac and her eyes shone with concern even as her face remained impassive. "I'm fine.""You don't look like it. You should try this thing that's called sleeping." Mac's tone was dry as sawdust, and Veronica sighed."Look Mac, I appreciate the concern and all, but I'm used to not sleeping a lot so there."Mac's brow raised itself sardonically, "so there? What are you, like twelve?""Shut up," Veronica cursed her exhaustion; it'd been a long time since her sarcasm had been so bad. Realizing this she sent a small smile at the teenage girl next to her. "Okay, maybe you're right, but I'm handling it.""Right…" Mac nodded with clear disbelief and stood up with the rest of the class as the bell finally rang. "I'm taking you to James before you crash and burn.""You do realize that out of the two of us, I'm actually the grown up, right?" Veronica quipped, but she amiably obeyed the brunette and followed Mac as she led the way towards the class where Veronica knew James had just finished his last class of the day.Veronica never made it to James classroom though, because suddenly Logan popped up in front of her, grabbed her wrist and dragged her down the hall and pushed her into the classroom she'd just abandoned. He completely ignored not only Veronica's muffled curse but Mac's indignant protests as well as he slammed and locked the door behind soundly him.In the blink of an eye, Logan towered over Veronica, invading her personal space with an aura of danger and sensuality around him that the blonde had to bite her lips to stop from visibly reacting too; aside from the lip biting naturally."Can I help you, Logan?" Damn, even my voice sounds as affected as I am; Veronica scolded herself momentarily at the breathlessness in her tone."I need you to back off." His eyes were as cold as she'd ever seen them and Veronica couldn't quite force back her shiver of unease."I don't follow."Logan took a step closer, bringing their bodies almost chest to chest; his face mere inches away from her, allowing her to be almost mesmerized by the green specks in his hazel eyes."Don't follow Aaron around. He's not your suspect after all." Logan's trademark smirk appeared, but it lacked its usual spark of mischief and Veronica decided that it didn't suit him one bit."I'm not-""Cut the crap, Veronica. I know you've been following him around ever since you saw my…Ever since I was at your place. I understand why you think you need to do that, but I'm fine and it's none of your concern.""Actually," Veronica couldn't help herself, tilting her head with an air of superiority about her that she didn't need a mirror to see, "it is my concern. As an adult it's my responsibility to stop abuse whenever I see it. Serve and protect and all that mumbo jumbo and oh my God, you didn't need to know that I'm older than you."Logan didn't react when Veronica started babbling out more excuses for her words that clearly was a lie. Instead he waited until she paused to breathe before speaking again. "I know you're some kind of cop, I may be young, but I'm far from stupid, I can connect the dots all by my lonesome. I just need you to back off of my father while I do my thing.""Your thing?" Veronica straightened up, "what are you talking about?""Since you and whomever it is that's working with you, 'cause," he added mockingly when Veronica was about to ask, "undercover people never work alone. I've seen 'Never Been Kissed', I know how it works. Anyway, to get back on track; since you and your silent partner are busy putting Lills' death on me, I need to spend my remaining days as a free man on finding out why the hell my dad screwed my girlfriend.""It's not your job," Veronica pointed out. "Also," she all but whispered the words, "I don't think you did it anymore."Logan stared at her for a long while and before she knew how it happened they'd somehow locked lips again and when the bell rang again, as if far away, Veronica realized she was sitting on the desk with her top unbuttoned and Logan's right hand on her breast."Oh my God," she shrieked, mortified that she could lose control like that and ran towards the door."I'm glad you think I'm innocent." Logan's voice stopped her cold and Veronica, chest still heaving with arousal, mortification and guilt combined, turned to look at him."I never said you were innocent, Logan Echolls." She left quickly after that, but not until she'd watched a truly beautiful smile appear on the young man's face that brought renewed life to his eyes. 0o0o0 Five minutes later, Veronica burst into the teaching lounge and gestured for James to come with her and fifteen minutes after that, Veronica was staring angrily at the ground, feeling more lost than ever as James tried to make her see why his suggestion was the best option."It's the only way, Veronica. You know it as well as I do that no normal kid could've spotted you on a trail; I mean, I've got trouble finding you whenever you're doing it and I'm on your side. He's smarter than he looks…You need to work the best angles to solve the case before his curiosity blows up in all our faces. Or before we get pulled from the case.""He's not cleared to know everything," Veronica muttered."Well screw that, since you've apparently dropped hints the size of Texas on the kid already." James retorted, sitting down next to the angry agent. "Come on, you know it's the only way. You've gotta convince him to be your boyfriend to gain access to the Echolls' house, and if that means telling him about the operation on the sly, I'm all for it – we don't have to put it in the report.""But…" Veronica trailed off, knowing full well that James had come up with the best possible solution. She'd messed things up by her attraction to Logan and she knew she had to fix it and solve the case the best way there was and in this case, it involved going undercover as Logan Echolls' new girlfriend."Hey," James' voice turned less serious now that he could see Veronica's agreement begin to appear on her face, "look at it this way; at least now you can burn off some hormones without breaking any rules whenever you're at school – Aw that hurt!"Veronica groaned with equal parts exasperation and annoyance after she'd slapped her partner hard on the arm and proceeded to try and figure out the best way to convince Logan to go along with James' plan.I just know it's gonna be a lot more complicated than any of us can predict, Veronica thought and groaned again when her mind proceeded to focus on the blazing heat between Logan and her whenever they were near each other for more than two seconds.Please let this case end soon, she prayed and hit a now chuckling James once more just to feel more like herself again. She had a rich soon to be fake boyfriend to explain things to after all.TBC… ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- CHAPTER EIGHT So, Girly Girl, Veronica sighed heavily, sitting with a slouch in her seat during the first class of her day, how do you suppose you can entice your attractive forbidden fruit to get involved in a fake relationship so I can prove that his father may or may not have murdered his once upon a time actual girlfriend? Her eyes surreptitiously glanced at the young man in question, subconsciously noting the hint of silent strength in his posture as he was busy staring up at the blackboard with a blank expression on his face. I could go with the 'I'm F.B.I. so you have to do everything I say' route? Veronica thought, but immediately scrapped the idea when another much less demure thought followed it suggesting what else she could get him to do using that idea…taking off his clothes to ravish her came to mind.No! Veronica shook her head, ignoring the bemused looks she got from the teenagers around her. Think Mars, you're supposed to be brilliant so your libido can't be in charge right now!In the end, as much as it pained her, Veronica decided to follow James' advice and just tell Logan as much as she could in order to get his cooperation. Of course, she'd never ever tell her partner that, because there'd be no doubt that he'd be utterly insufferable about it. She quickly packed her things when the bell rang and all but ran after Logan, who was walking next to a tired-looking Duncan Kane."Logan, wait up!" She called, and had to swallow back a curse when the boy in question didn't act on her order, forcing her to speed up another notch until she could run past him and stop right in front of him."Oh," his smirk was infuriating and Veronica suddenly remembered why people said there was a fine line between love and hate, as she suppressed a sudden need to smack him, "I thought I hear something small and insignificant, but I figured it was just my ears playing tricks on me.""Great, Echolls," Veronica said through gritted teeth as she used all her training to maintain a cheery smile that she was pretty sure none of the boys bought entirely, "we need to talk. Now," she added firmly when Logan opened his mouth to say something.Before the heir could say or do much of anything, Veronica grabbed his arm and unceremoniously dragged him into the nearest available classroom where she proceeded to achieve the impossible for a moment; she made Logan Echolls completely speechless. 0o0o0 "I'd like to say that it was easy peasy and he agreed immediately," Veronica sighed as she handed her uncle Keith a cup of coffee, ignoring the slightly offended look James gave her when he didn't get one too, "but in reality, he just stood there for God knows how long with his mouth open and a dazed look in his eyes that made him look stupid and before we could really talk about it, the bell rang and a teacher showed up to boot us out before his next class.""Hah," James chuckled, getting up from his seat to grab himself a cup of coffee himself when it became clear that Veronica wasn't in a giving mood, "Echolls Junior, speechless? Now that I'd like to see.""Not helping, James." Veronica pointed out and stole his favorite seat as a punishment while Keith simply rolled his eyes at their antics."You two better pray you're never assigned new partners, 'cause I'm pretty sure they'd kill you in a matter of days, if not hours," he stated, taking a sip of his coffee. Veronica and James eyed each other with obvious confusion before looking back at him, clearly not getting his point."Never mind," Keith rolled his eyes again and changed the subject. "Anyway, so I take it that Logan's on board despite his initial reaction? I mean, he hasn't blabbed about anything as far as we know so far, right? So what's gonna happen next?"Veronica rubbed the back of her neck uncomfortably. "Well, I think the fact that he didn't immediately publically humiliate me or anything means that he's willing. I just think he needs a little time to get everything straight in his mind."James smirked, but Veronica took comfort in the fact that his next words weren't his predictable uncouth ones. Instead, he actually seemed serious underneath the twinkling eyes and goofy expression, "We'll let the new it-couple news go around school for a few days to solidify their connection, making them go to parties and such after school. Then, if Logan is on board with everything, we'll plan a family meal where hopefully Ronnie here manages to get some clues and if possible scope out anything interesting. Oh, that reminds me," he nodded at Veronica, "we'll need to get Logan to update our bugging systems; his knowledge of where his father spends his time the most will be helpful.""Sure," Veronica agreed and leaned back in the chair, trying secretly to not think about the look in Logan's eyes when she'd told him her plan to possibly get his father arrested for his dead girlfriend's murder by the help of a fake relationship.He almost looked…disappointed about it, Veronica recalled, subconsciously frowning at the idea of hurting Logan. Like he was as thrilled about the fake part as I was when it was first brought up…Why couldn't he have been born at least five years earlier? Or just two years even? She bemoaned as her imagination suddenly started playing tricks with her and forced her to focus more on his strong arms and how they'd felt that last time they'd been in an abandoned classroom together. Hell, as I'm feeling right now, I'd even settle for six months older..."Veronica?"Startled out of her thoughts, Veronica jolted a bit and had to scramble inelegantly not to spill her half-empty coffee cup on the carpeted floor. James laughed loudly, but soon stopped when Back-up the dog growled irritably at the noise and rolled over his feet to make him quiet down.Smiling at her protective canine friend, Veronica looked over at her uncle, who was looking at her with slightly worried eyes."What's going that pretty head of yours, Honey?" His tone reminded the agent of all the summers that her parents had shipped her off to her uncle's house and where he'd always been her closest confidante. A big part of Veronica had hoped throughout her formative years that Keith had been her dad; she'd even stolen some hair from him once to do a test to make sure. Sadly, he wasn't, but it hadn't made her love him any less.When her own parents had died in a plane crash several years earlier, just before Veronica's eighteenth birthday, it'd been Keith that had picked her up and taught her how to live in a world without them.Sighing softly at the memory of those years, Veronica looked over at her worried uncle. "I'm just tired, Uncle K. I've never felt so confused before if that makes any sense and…" Veronica's eyes darted to James, who smiled encouragingly, "ashamed, I guess. I'm not supposed to have any sort of feelings for a kid, it's just wrong and disgusting and—"Keith held up a hand, his face grave as she'd ever seen it. "Look, Veronica. I'm not saying that your attraction to Logan is right, but you shouldn't beat yourself up about it, 'cause I know you're not gonna act on it until he's eighteen…right?"Veronica smiled, promising herself never to reveal just what had happened with Logan already. He does need some peace of mind, doesn't he? She thought with an invisible shudder of self-loathing. "Right…""Well, I'm gonna head back to my place and catch some shuteye," James cut through the tension with his booming voice, "that Cindy girl keep calling me at the crack of dawn with updates and crap. Gosh, she's an annoying little thing. Night all!"Veronica frowned thoughtfully before glancing over at Keith, who was smiling tiredly. "Maybe you're not the only one who's got something cooking for a younger person," he pointed out softly.The idea of Mac and James together gave Veronica goosebumps and she grimaced. "He's too old…" she trailed off regretfully when she realized that her words were not important considering what she was doing with Logan. Besides, she thought sadly, since he's a guy, the most people will do is frown a little while secretly congratulating the old dog for the young catch. It never works the other way around when it's an older woman…Except in Demi and Ashton's case, I guess…"I don't want to talk about it anymore," Veronica said, getting up from her seat and heading for her bedroom. "I'm gonna go to bed and charge up for a new school day as Logan Echolls' newest conquest. Goody."Keith smiled, his eyes serious but comforting at the same time. "'Night, Honey. I'm not gonna be here for a few days, there's a convention I have to go to. Deputy Lamb will be available though, if you need any help from the strapping Neptunian law system."This time, Veronica grinned and turned back to look at her uncle with a teasing look in her eye that had been missing the whole evening. "Lamb? Seriously, I'm never gonna be that desperate. Besides," she added with her head tilted sideways, "I didn't think you'd ever trust him around me again, considering the date he wanted to take me on last time I visited.""Gaw! Don't remind me, and forget I said anything before I have to bleach out my eyes at the memory of his lovesick eyes. Go to your room, Veronica.""Sir, yes Sir," she saluted with her mood lifted and went to her room as ordered. 0o0o0 Talking about being Logan Echolls' flavor of the month and actually parading around Neptune high as Logan's newest conquest was two massively different things and Veronica decided after the first shocked glances of the students around her that she did not like it one bit."So my darling," to call Logan's tone sarcastic was an enormous understatement and only Veronica's training kept her from rolling her eyes in public, "is this all you hoped for?" His voice sent shivers down her spine as he leaned back from whispering in her ear in the quad and for one brief moment, the blonde didn't know whether to smack him or kiss him."Oh yeah," settling on familiar grounds, Veronica kept her tone light and sarcastic as well, "I don't know how I ever survived without you before.""Glad you're aware of it, at least.""I'm so aware it's dangerous to my mental health.""Then it's great you're not supposed to be all that smart, ain't it?""So now you're calling me stupid?""Deceitful is a much prettier word.""You two are so sickly sweet that I'm not gonna eat dessert today," Meg's cheery voice broke through the bantering would-be couple and they both turned away from each other to see all of the people around the table staring straight at them with varying degrees of humor and disgust on their faces."What?" They chorused, both unaware of the fact that they'd just spent several minutes in their own little, albeit snarky, world.Caitlin Ford, one of Logan's last 'companions' sneered silently while her eyes drank in the sight of her former lover. The look irritated Veronica so much that she instinctively wove her hand across Logan's waist and leaned into him. She could feel him tense up at the same time she realized just what she'd been doing, but to keep in character as the in love teenage girl, Veronica didn't move back and to his credit, Logan soon relaxed and acted normally again.I guess he does have a lot of practice with clingy girlfriends, Veronica's mood soured at the thought and she straightened back up in the guise of reaching for her water bottle on the table.Her mood didn't get any better when, after two days of acting like a dimwit in love, fawning over Logan's admittedly sensual body, James pulled them both aside and told them to make an opportunity of the fact that both of Logan's parents were currently in Neptune with his sister, Trina. "Perhaps," James finished quickly at the deadly scowls he'd been receiving ever since beginning his demand, "this'll be a great chance to snoop around for you Ronnie and this way you can try and make something slip like you're so good at.""What does he mean by that?" Logan looked down at Veronica, who had a sudden urge to fidget uncomfortably at the penetrating stare she was getting."Nothing," she replied, glaring over at her partner, "James just always envied me my boobs and their ability to get men's attention and thus making me a lot better at closing my cases than he is.""So," Logan had an unidentifiable glint in his eye that for some reason got Veronica's heart pumping faster, "you're good at using your body? I'm gonna look forward to—""Let's just keep everything here PG-rated," James interrupted before Veronica could do something stupid like kiss her fake boyfriend. "I'll call you Echolls for more details, but make sure it's set up before the end of the week, 'cause I'm starting to get a big itch to leave this town. I wanna head back to civilization and the real world.""Yeah…" Veronica felt oddly hesitant and above all guilty when she glanced at Logan's shoes instead of his face as she agreed, "me too."James slapped her on the back and nodded cheerfully at Logan before leaving the room to the two others."Well that was just all fun and giggles," Logan smirked and if Veronica hadn't been so in tune to whatever that boy said or did, she'd probably not have noticed the almost disappointed light in his eyes and her guilt turned up another notch. "I guess I have to go organize a family get together with the works. I just love this idea, Sugarpuss.""Logan…wait," Veronica began, but it was too late to stop him from leaving her alone in the classroom.Well, she tried seeing the bright light, if I can get Aaron to slip up during that dinner, I might be able to leave town before anyone gets hurt or I break the law by sleeping with a minor…The memory of Logan's expression when James had talked about leaving town reentered Veronica's mind and she sighed heavily. If only things could be easy for me once in a while, she wished fervently as she slowly made herself put on her 'high school' expression again.Veronica was beaming widely with a heavy heart when she opened the door to the hallway, a moment later. She'd startled a bit when she saw Logan waiting for her with a small smirk dancing on his lips. "Couldn't leave without you, Baby," he explained loudly before murmuring more quietly so passersby couldn't overhear, "if I did, people would just think we'd split up already and that's not good for the whole plan thing, right."Swallowing back her almost reflexive urge to comfort him and apologize for what she was asking of him, Veronica smiled as the lovesick girl she acted like, "I'm glad you didn't leave without me, Sweetie."Logan's jaw flexed as he clenched his teeth, but his smile was as hard to see through as Veronica's was and they just walked hand in hand to their next class of the day, both ignoring the tiny part of themselves that had a desire to just keep on walking out to the parking lot and leave together.TBC… ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- CHAPTER NINE "Ronnie, you can't kill him, I repeat, you can't kill the suspect!" James voice in Veronica's ear did nothing to soothe her anger and frustration. Instead, she took a deep breath and stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. Her face was pale with flushed cheeks that was a clear sign to anyone that knew her that she was pissed.Suddenly, there was a cool, slimy sensation on her hands and she looked down, only to find them clenched roughly around an expensive-looking soap dispenser. The soap had leaked out and was running down her hands in big streams and the feel of it, gave Veronica a chance to focus on something else for a little while.The evening had begun nicely enough, and Veronica had managed to use all of her training to act like she was in awe of Aaron Echolls instead of revealing how she truly felt; that she wanted to strangle him to death and whip him as he'd so obviously done to his only son.Asshole.When Logan had come to pick her up at her uncle's place, like any decent teenage boy hoping to get lucky always did, Veronica smiled a little at the way his eyes damn near devoured her in her simple, red dress. It wasn't very revealing per say, but the way it laid on her skin like a second layer didn't hide much. Secretly, Veronica had bought the dress for just this reaction, even though she'd proclaimed loudly to a smirking James that it was the perfect dress to lure in Aaron Echolls and would he please stop looking at her like that.It took a few minutes to equip Logan with the necessary listening devices in his ears and a small camera that was strategically placed on the white shell necklace that he never took off. After that, the fake couple got into Logan's X-terra and drove towards the Echolls mansion, unobtrusively tailed by James in a nondescript, but very cliché, black van.Despite an undercurrent of tension in the car, Veronica wasn't uncomfortable. In fact, a small part of her enjoyed the close proximity to the boy she…err, admired even as a bigger part was busy belittling her for her attraction to the younger male. Judging from the way, Logan's fingers were turning white around the steering wheel; he wasn't as relaxed as Veronica was.After a few minutes of growing tension, Veronica decided to break the silence and try to calm him down a bit. "It's not that big of a deal, Logan. I promise it's just a dinner and then I'm out of your hair before you know it."To her surprise, Logan didn't seem to be soothed by her words; in fact, he seemed to get more agitated with every sentence. "It's not you being there that I'm concerned about, Veronica," he muttered as he drove up to the gate to his house, pressing some sort of code to let the gates open without much of a fuss."I'm more worried about who's gonna be there overall." He finished, pulling into his personal parking space not too far from the main door. "I mean," He explained at Veronica's frown, "Aaron's gonna be there and I know it's part of your big plan or whatever, but he's not a great actor for nothing, okay. He's really good at deceiving and manipulating and I'm…Fuck, I'm embarrassed, all right, 'cause it's gonna go like it always does. He's gonna sit there and insult not only me, but my mother as well, while Trina hangs on his every word, quietly begging for money or another crappy extra job and I don't want you to see that."Oh, he really is ashamed of his family. It's weird that the F.B.I. profilers missed that in their file on him, Veronica thought seriously even as she reached out and gently grasped Logan's shoulder, giving it a comforting squeeze before letting go."Don't worry, Logan. I've seen some of the worst scum on the planet during my time in the Agency, so one actor and his shenanigans won't be a problem."Logan sighed heavily, almost like he was forcing out his insecurities before going into battle, and Veronica smiled at his antics. "Fine," he murmured, getting out of the car to go open the door for her as a proper boyfriend would. "But for the record, don't say I didn't warn you, okay?""Okay," she smiled and took his hand. "Lead the way, Echolls." 0o0o0 Fifteen minutes later, found Veronica both a lot less naïve and a lot more pissed off. She'd known, of course, that Aaron Echolls was a despicable guy as soon as she'd realized his sleeping around with young girls such as the deceased murder victim, Lilly Kane and the still alive Madison Sinclair. Finding out his abuse of his son had only cemented that knowledge of his person in Veronica's mind.Of course, she thought with a downright painful smile on her face as she pretended to find one of the actor's inane jokes amusing, that was only the beginning of my knowledge. Now I can add sleaze ball, bastard and all around creep to the list as well."…and that's when the judge walked in. Get it?" Aaron chuckled merrily at his confusing and yet slightly perverted joke, considering Veronica was supposed to be a teenage girl dating his son. Fortunately, Veronica was used to doing things she didn't like, so she merely kept the fake smile plastered on her face, perhaps gripping Logan's fingers a tad too tightly as a way to let off some steam."Oh, Mr. Echolls, you're so funny." Veronica giggled, hiding her head shyly in Logan's arm, keeping her role intact as the dimwitted but lovable blonde.Lynne, Logan's mom walked over to them, followed by Logan's sister, Trina. "Dinner's ready, Mrs. Navarro says we should hurry before it gets cold. Come this way, please." She murmured quietly to Veronica, leading the way into the dining room which was set up way to extravagant for the young agent's personal taste.It's too…Veronica mentally searched for the right word for a second before she found it, perfect. It's like they're trying to impress me with all the splendor and Brady Bunchy vibe. It'd probably work on someone who wasn't totally creeped out by the patriarch of the family. Five minutes later, Veronica had added Trina Echolls to her list of people that she really disliked. The redhead had a superiority complex a mile wide and she'd already revealed her true colors of shallowness two minutes after the help, Mrs. Navarro had carefully placed the appetizer in front of her and almost spilled it."Daddy," she whined childishly with a pout that wouldn't look out of place on a three year old, "Don't you think the help is getting to be a little too old to handle this everyday thing; I mean, she clearly lost some of her edge over the years and—""Stop talking, Trina," Logan spat with a fake smile that definitely warned his sister off, "Mrs. Navarro is cool. You just don't like her 'cause she used to send you to timeout when you tried stealing from Dad's wallet.""Kids, Kids," Aaron's voice was benign and almost grandfatherly. Veronica would've believed him if she hadn't seen the hint of rage in his eyes before he concealed it. "Let's not do this in front of company, shall we?"Veronica smiled as if she hadn't understood a word and daintily began eating, all the while processing Logan's sudden protectiveness of the elderly Latina. She was surprised due to the fact that just a week ago, she'd heard him taunt Eli 'Weevil' Navarro, her grandson and threaten her job. I guess he really does care for her, she surmised correctly, watching silently as the elderly woman gently placed a plate in front of Logan with the first genuine smile of the evening.I bet she's the only real evidence he's seen of a normal human being in this house, Veronica swallowed back her growing anger and loudly exclaimed that the appetizer was the best thing she'd ever tasted.As the dinner progressed, and Veronica got a clearer and clearer picture of the Echolls family dynamics that would've told her of Logan's abuse even if she hadn't seen the marks herself, Veronica found it more and more difficult to maintain her role as the ditzy cheerleader that was more interested in calorie intake than the fact that her boyfriend was being mistreated…and his mother too, judging from the way she never meets my eyes and drinks more than all of us combined, Veronica thought sadly.It was during dessert that Veronica finally caught a glimpse of the Aaron that screwed little girls and videotaped them in secret. Lynne and Trina excused themselves to the bathroom, although Veronica had a pretty strong inkling that they were going out to drink some more in hiding (Lynne) and smoke or possibly take a hit of a certain white powder (Trina). Following James' order in his ear, Logan too excused himself to supposedly go answer a call he'd received earlier, while in reality he was taking the time to set up more hidden cameras and subsequently giving Veronica her chance to be alone with his dad."So, Veronica," Aaron leaned back in his chair and sent her his academy award winning smile, "I hear you're new to Neptune, living with the Sheriff, am I right?""Wow," Veronica giggled, seemingly in awe of the man in front of her, "I can't believe Aaron Echolls is curious about little ol' me. I'm not that interesting. I mean, I live with my Uncle Keith 'cause my parents are too busy fighting right now over who gets what in the settlement, if you catch my drift."Aaron took on a concerned and sympathetic mask that once again told Veronica he really was one hell of an actor, "I'm sorry that you're going through that. At least Keith's a good man, so we don't have to worry about him living with a pretty girl like you. I mean, rumors in Neptune tend to spiral out of control if one's not too careful."Oh I bet you know all about that kind of thing, Veronica hissed mentally while outwardly her smile never wavered. In fact, she leaned forward a bit to show off her chest in the least subtle way she could. "Well, I'm glad there are such good men around Neptune to look out for me. I bet Logan gets his manners from you, Sir.""Please," Aaron leaned forward and placed his hands on Veronica's on the table, "call me Aaron, I don't like to sound so old, makes me think of my old man.""Of course…Aaron." Veronica smiled abashedly and looked away for one brief moment, only to lock eyes with Logan, who was hiding in the doorway with an indescribable look in his hazel eyes that shook her in her foundations. It was only her vigorous training that kept her able to maintain her expression as she looked back at the actor, who may or may not have killed Lilly Kane. "I have to admit, I've always admired your work. You are quite talented," she added in a husky voice.Aaron's eyes were glued to her cleavage when he replied in a similar tone of voice, "Trust me, Veronica; it's not only acting, I do all my own stunts too – keeps me fit and strong for any type of bodily work. I'm eager to please…my fans with all of me whenever I can."I'll show you pleasure when I stick this fork down your throat, Veronica thought with a big innocent smile. "I'm sure you're good at pleasing your fans," she said and discreetly removed her hand from his touch before she followed through with her initial desire.Fortunately, Aaron didn't see her removal as a rejection. Instead, he leaned backwards in his chair with a charming smile on his face. "I like you, Veronica. So, while the rest of the family's taking a breather, would you like to show you around? We've got a lot space here, there's even a state of the art pool house where I spend a lot of my time preparing between movie shoots.""I'd love to see where the magic happens," Veronica answered and got up from her seat, making sure to show as much bare skin as possible. "But I'm afraid I have to go powder my nose before the others come back. But I'll definitely be interested some other time," she hinted heavily, hoping he'd take the bait despite the obviousness of it."I'll hold you to that," Aaron said after a long, tense moment where Veronica had to fight off the urge to go take a shower, washing off the entire night. His eyes, so like Logan's that it was disturbing, eyed her body like a buffet, "I'll definitely hold you to that.""I look forward to it, Aaron," Veronica forced through her lips and turned to the nearest bathroom before she could do something horrible to the man, who claimed to love his kid, but still came on to his girlfriends.Veronica smiled sweetly over her shoulder, letting her eyes glide seductively down Aaron's admittedly handsome frame before she finally turned a corner and stormed into the nearest bathroom."I'm gonna kill him," she whispered fervently, fighting off the urge to slam her hand through the mirror. "He's a disgusting pig and I'm gonna pull of his dick and shove down his throat in little pieces."For the first time that night, James' voice rang in her ear, trying futilely to calm her down. "Ronnie, you can't kill him, I repeat, you can't kill the suspect!" The feeling of the slimy soap on her skin, brought Veronica back from her replay of the evening and she started washing her hands, all but rubbing her skin raw where Aaron's hand had touched hers.Suddenly, the door opened and Veronica saw Logan enter as she looked up in the mirror. His expression was as solemn as she'd ever seen it before his eyes glanced down to her abused hands."I never realized how much you have to put up with in your line of work," he murmured, gently shutting off the scolding water and grabbing a soft towel under the sink to dry her hands gently. "It was downright painful to watch you throw yourself at him like that, but I bet it's even harder for you to actually do it. I'm sorry I treated you bad when I first found out about you.""Don't be, Logan," Veronica objected. "I did lie to you and…Well, it's a job and I have to get through it to prove that he actually murdered your girlfriend. Besides," she continued quietly, "it's not like it's the worst thing that has ever happened to me during the job.""Maybe not," Logan whispered, pulling her closer inch by inch until his face was almost close enough to kiss, "but none of the people you've worked to get before was my father. The fact that he eyed you like a piece of meat made me sick and I wanted to hurt him. I don't like seeing you uncomfortable, you're too strong. I like that you're smarter than everyone else, that you have the ability to act so stupid that even Caitlin seems intelligent. I just like you, Veronica and I hated seeing him touch you like you were his when you're really—.""Hate to be a buzz kill, people," James' voice suddenly sounded in their ears simultaneously, "but you really have to think about the case and the fact that Ronnie's not a real schoolgirl and—""James," Veronica bit out through gritted teeth, her eyes never leaving Logan's, "turn off the comm. Turn it off right now."There was a small sigh in their ears before there was a little beep that signified his compliance to Veronica's demand.The tension grew between the two for one long minute before Logan finally just rolled his eyes with a small groan and pulled Veronica the rest of the way into his arms, slanting his warm lips across hers in a deep kiss. It was as if the kiss immediately bled out all of the frustration she'd been feeling the entire night, replacing it with the now familiar passion she'd come to associate Logan's kisses with.A moment later, Logan removed his lips from hers and enveloped her tiny body in his arms in a hug that seemed to give Veronica just as much pleasure as the kiss and without really knowing why, Veronica's arms came around Logan's waist in a tight embrace that seemed to soothe the raging passion just beneath the surface.Veronica didn't know how long they stood in each other's arms, giving and receiving comfort in equal measures, but eventually her common sense returned and she pulled away. "Thanks," she said gratefully, turning to the mirror to reapply the makeup the kiss had ruined. "I really needed that.""Yeah, me too." Logan sounded almost surprised by his own honesty, but then he smirked that smirk that she'd come to rely on and added, "Although the kissing weren't exactly your best work, now was it.""Beat it, Kid;" Veronica growled teasingly, "you haven't seen the best of me yet.""Oh, I sincerely hope not," Logan grinned, his usual cocky behavior shining through and Veronica realized with a small start that she'd missed that all night, ever since they'd walked into the Echolls' mansion and Aaron's clouding presence had fallen over them both."Talk to me when you're eighteen, Buddy and I'll rock your world," the words left Veronica's lips before she'd even thought them through and she looked up at Logan with widened eyes."I mean…These kisses…what's happened between us, can't happen again. I…" she trailed off uncertainly as Logan's gaze grew more and more intense with every word."I'll need your number," was all he said after another long moment of silence."What?""For when I do turn eighteen," he explained and bent down to peck her lips innocently, "'cause trust me, Veronica, there's no way in hell I'm stopping with a few kisses when that happens."Veronica stared at the door he'd closed softly behind him as he left the bathroom. Moving robotically, Veronica pulled out her cell and texted James to reopen the connection. A second later, his voice was back in her ear and Veronica took a deep breath and went back into the dining room to fulfill her job.As soon as she got home later that evening, Veronica ran into her room and looked through Logan's file. She acted like she didn't know what exactly she was looking for, but her eyes were all but glued to that little piece of information that told her exactly when he'd been born.Only little under one year, she thought to herself, even as her self-loathing tried belittling her for her attraction as always, it's only one year away…TBC… ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- CHAPTER TEN As soon as her alarm clock started beeping, Veronica just knew. She knew that her day was about to be one of those bad ones where it would be better to just call in sick and burrow down on the couch and watch movies while chowing down impossible amounts of Ben & Jerry's Cookie Dough Ice Cream.In reality though, Veronica settled for a big and loud groan that scared Back-up off the bed with an undignified whelp that really wasn't fit for a pit-bull. After a long shower and two cups of black coffee, she finally emerged from the Mars residence with some semblance of normality.A moment later, she stopped in surprise. Waiting in the parking lot as if he did these kinds of things every day, was Logan. He was leaning up against his yellow monstrosity of a car with a familiar smirk dancing on his lips. "Morning, Sugarlips," he greeted her, politely opening the passenger door for her as he spoke.The drive to Neptune High was surprisingly fun and they bantered the whole way there, acting as if their intense moment in the Echolls' bathroom hadn't happened. A tiny part of Veronica was sad, disappointed even that it seemed to be so easy for Logan, but the more mature part of her took it to mean that his affections for her was merely psychical attraction and that she should keep up guarding her heart…and follow the law, of course.Veronica had almost forgotten her weird inkling from she'd felt as she got up earlier when she exited the car and linked her hand together with Logan's. The feeling crept back into her the moment she entered the one class she had with James as her teacher.Her partner looked more serious than she'd seen him in a while; the last time in fact he'd looked similar had been when he'd carried her out of a former undercover location with her being nearly dead in his arms from a gunshot wound to the chest. The feeling of unease intensified when, as the last student trickled in, his demeanor didn't lighten up.The minutes went by slowly and it wasn't until the bell rang and people shot out of their seats that Veronica took a risk and walked up to her friend. "Are you okay?" she murmured, fingering some chalk to seem a little less interested than she really was.James kept to his character as there were a few students still lingering in the room, "Miss Mars, your lack of attention to this class and your asinine comments written in your essay work has forced me to contact your guardian to have a serious talk with both of you to better understand what'll happen in the coming school year. You should expect a call from me later today when things aren't so busy for me."With that, James stood up and left without another word. His words may have sounded like a thorough dressing down to some, and judging from the mix of pity and superiority Veronica spotted in the other students' eyes as she left the room by herself, people had noticed their conversation.In reality, Veronica had instantly interpreted her partner's words and was left reeling from them with a sense of foreboding that completely blew her earlier unease out of the water. James needed her and Keith to go home to their apartment and he had something very serious to tell them, but couldn't until they'd completely checked their home for listening devices and other things like that.Without questioning her partner, Veronica immediately began acting sick and within a mere hour, she'd convinced the school nurse and whomever was around that she was like totally sick and needed to go home before she got even worse. She'd called Keith to come pick her up and he came barreling into the parking lot and helped her into his car with so much tenderness as though she really was on death's door.Out of the corner of her eye, Veronica caught Logan being surrounded by people worried for him due to his new girl's sickness but the quick look of amusement he sent her way told her that once again she hadn't managed to fool him.One day, Mr. Echolls, Veronica thought with a barely there smile in return, one day I'll get you believing in one of my lies, I promise you… 0o0o0 A little while later, the two Mars' sat around in uncomfortable silence, too paranoid to say anything despite having searched the place for bugs.They didn't have to wait long before James unceremoniously burst through the door and eyed them both seriously. Veronica didn't enjoy the somber look on her partner's face; it was almost unbecoming for the normally so cheery man to look so grave, unnatural even."All clear," Keith murmured after a lengthy pause where James seemed ready to sweep the apartment himself as an extra precaution."Now tell us what's going on?" Veronica ordered gently, with her heart in her throat.James sighed, ran a hand through his hair wearily and slowly made his way over to one of the available armchairs. Only after he' sat there for a long minute, did the F.B.I agent finally open his mouth."The people upstairs keep getting flack from Kane senior, he's impatient and they're agreeing that things are moving too slow, so they're sending a guy to check up on us – they're sending Craig Jackson."Veronica cursed, ignoring her uncle's confused looks in her direction while James explained, "He's a stickler for the rules and he's infamous for butting in and ruining things if they're not by the books, which means that," James' eyes went to Veronica, before looking back at a slowly comprehending Keith, "that the whole thing with Echolls and him knowing about us will get everyone in deep shit. Veronica especially, she may lose her job.""And Logan's gonna be in trouble too," Veronica muttered, the thought of her dream job in danger oddly enough not freaking her out as much as Logan's probable difficulties did.Keith looked between the two agents with a serious look in his eyes that gave the impression that he was already trying to figure out a solution to their problems. "What now then?""We play by the books too," James replied, holding up a hand when Veronica frowned, "and quietly explain things more to Logan and-and Cindy."Veronica filed away the obvious concern for the teenage girl that James showed, but didn't say anything about it. At least if the worry means what I think it does, then I'll have someone who truly understands what I'm going through…"When is Craig coming, do you know that?" Veronica asked after a brief silence and James nodded."Officially in two days, but you know as well as I do that he's not known for doing the expected when he's unofficially looking for broken rules. That's why I was so cautious today – in case he'd been sniffing around already, we needed to make it look like we weren't doing anything we're not allowed to.""Good point," Keith said and then sighed heavily before continuing. "I guess that means we'll have to expect further delay on the Kane case now. If that Jackson guy is gonna be distracting us and all," he added when Veronica looked at him questioningly."Not really," she replied after a quick look at James. "I'm betting he's gonna tow the company line about aiding our investigation while looking our work through on the sly. That means that despite everything, we'll be one more person to solve the murder and since I'm pretty sure already that Aaron Echolls is somehow involved, it's not gonna take that long.""You really think so?" Keith asked and Veronica nodded with determination."That's what I would've done if I was in Craig's shoes.""Fine then," James rubbed the back of his neck tiredly. "Then let's go chat up the kids and let them in on the problem and see what'll happen then, okay?"Veronica agreed and decided to take action immediately by driving over to Logan's place and tell him what to expect the upcoming days.Let's just hope that his natural aversion to authority figures doesn't come back to bite us all in the ass, she thought as she started the Le Baron up and drove out of the parking lot with a worried frown marring her face. 0o0o0 Veronica had already pulled into the Echolls driveway, when she realized the obvious; it was still barely after noon, which meant that Logan was still trapped at school for several more hours."Shit," she cursed and slammed her hands into the steering wheel in frustration. What now? She thought and eyed the mansion cautiously. If Aaron is home, he's definitely not gonna let me go without a creepy remark or a grope or two and I doubt that even my acting abilities can stand that with the mood I'm in right now…"I could go back to school and spew some bull about miraculously getting better but that'll lessen my shot at being trusted by the right people in the future if there's ever another emergency," she murmured and restarted the car to drive away, not willing to be caught sitting innocently in the driveway.Twenty minutes later, Veronica was down at the beach. She sat down in the warm sand and took a moment to enjoy the sound of the waves and the smell of the ocean in the air before her thoughts once again took over everything and she lost herself to her worries."Hey you," Logan's voice ripped her out of her thoughts some time later, and Veronica looked up with a start. Logan's easy smirk was dancing on his lips and he held up his hands in front of him, "Don't look at me like that, I swear I'm not stalking you. I was just driving by and happened to recognize that senior vehicle of yours and decided to look for you.""We need to talk," the words blurted out of her mouth and Veronica watched, half in sadness, as the easy going look in Logan's eyes dimmed and he turned serious. A few minutes later, she'd told him about the upcoming difficulty that was Craig Jackson and stressed the need for carefulness."So," Logan said after a long, tense pause where his eyes had been glued to the ocean in front of them, "tell me again why I need to worry as much as you obviously do right now."Veronica had a brief urge to stomp in the sand like a two-year old at the lack of concern Logan showed, but wisely refrained from it, knowing it wouldn't get the young man to take her seriously."If Craig realizes what's been going on between us; that you in fact know everything and aren't just being used for cover he could make things very hard on everyone. I'd be lucky if losing my job was the end of it all and I can't even imagine what he'd force on you.""He'll probably try to recruit me or something; doesn't sound too bad," Logan said, sitting down on the sand next to her.Veronica rolled her eyes, "Sure, it sounds oh-so-great to be an F.B.I agent and all that, but trust me, and with your attitude and lack of respect for anything it won't be a pleasant experience. Besides they could just end up putting you in jail if everything else fails. And…" she trailed off and it was only Logan's 'go on' gesture with his hand that made her add quietly, "…and I won't be allowed near you no matter which option you choose.""That sucks," Logan said with a somber smile. "Better figure out a plan then.""You're telling me," Veronica replied, resisting the urge to lean into his shoulder and instead just lying down fully on the soft sand. "Why do you think I was out here thinking in the first place?""Point well made as ever, Mars," Logan grinned and lay down beside her and they stopped talking and both silently just enjoyed their closeness in a rare moment of complete unity. 0o0o0 TBC… ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- CHAPTER ELEVEN To say that Veronica was on pins and needles was a big understatement, probably even more so when she first laid eyes on Craig's blue eyes across the classroom when he walked in an introduced himself as the new teaching assistant to James.How they managed that feat, making that bulgy middle-aged man look average and boring was beyond even Veronica's vivid imagination. Not that she tried using it too much to be honest. Craig's entire being screamed soldier to anyone taking a closer look, and in that moment, Veronica was looking pretty closely.The older man had scanned the room as James introduced what they were going to be doing that day, and as their eyes met, Veronica hadn't been able to ignore the flash of disgust mixed with lust that had been in his eyes. She still shuddered just thinking about it.Now, as the class was ending, and the bell about to ring at any moment, Veronica was ready to do the unprofessional thing and bolt. She didn't want to talk to the religious rule follower that admittedly was too smart for her to hustle.But, she thought wearily, I'm not a coward, so I better do the right thing and get it over with.Another few moments were spent fiddling with her bag as the rest of the students walked out, and then Veronica took a deep breath before she slowly made her way up to her fellow agents."Welcome to Neptune High, Craig," she greeted blandly.Craig nodded just as blandly, his eyes showing none of the lust she'd caught a glimpse at earlier, thankfully."I know that the two of you are the golden duo of partners, but," Craig straightened up, no doubt trying to make himself seem more important, "I am here to make sure things do not escalate into a giant waste of time. Mr. Kane has expressed concerns as to how long the whole process has taken already and is understandably eager to locate the person who killed his daughter."Veronica and James shared a glance, but neither got a chance to say anything as the other agent continued, "I will observe and keep check of everything as well as look at your findings to make sure nothing hasn't been overlooked."There was a moment of uncomfortable silence, and then Veronica did what she did best, she jumped right into action, following the tentative plan Logan and she had formed. On the inside she was nervous, but showed nothing in her expression as she spoke, not even when Craig's eyes all but bugged out in shock and his mouth opened like a drowning fish."Well, since I know you will already have turned your focus on some of our suspects, I can tell you that we are now certain that Logan Echolls isn't Miss Kane's murderer. In fact, he's shown to have a decent head on his shoulders and I've therefore decided to use him as a cover. He's now my boyfriend. His connections in the local community will see that I meet and have easy access to several people that we may or may not need to question in the future.""Mars, that is completely against the rules." Craig's tone was indignant, as if the mere mention of rulebreaking was doing him in."Relax, Jackson," James stepped in for the first time, "Ronnie is more capable than any of us at keeping our covers straight. She's not gonna ruin anything and I'm willing to bet that she'll have the case solved in no time.""Silence!" Craig demanded, not even looking at the other man. His gaze was firmly on Veronica, who was doing her damndest not to fidget like some unruly rookie agent."Do you have any idea what kind of trouble you're gonna find yourself in when this is all over? He's a child, leading him on like that is not only unethical it's plain disgusting. I can't believe you're willing to go that far, Mars.""Whoa, relax," holding up a hand, Veronica stepped a little closer to the horrified agent. "I'm not hurting Logan –and just for your information, that child is more mature than most of the adults in this God-awful town.""That may very well be, but coercing with a minor is still wrong and illegal, Mars. We're talking statutory rape charges here, if you're not careful. That's one hell of a mark on one's record, you know.""It would be, yeah," Veronica all but growled, "if there was such a thing taking place. Logan may be my boyfriend as my cover, but we're not doing that at all. At most, there have been a few kisses to keep him interested. That's all. I'm well aware that California's laws state that he needs to be eighteen for anything to be even remotely legal!"James' lips twitched and Veronica knew that he was dying to let loose one of his quips, but fortunately, her partner had seemed to find some kind of professionalism."That better be all," Craig said seriously and then turned to James. "I'm heading to that Camelot place to rest up. Later, I'll expect you both there to brief me on your progress and future plans. I have a meeting with the Kanes this Saturday, so I'd like to have something tangible to tell them.""You do realize that this is an ongoing investigation and that the Kanes aren't really the one's running the show?" Veronica said, grabbing her book bag tightly to stop herself from swinging the thing in the older agent's smug face.The expression on his face turned even worse, almost pitying, and Veronica could practically feel her blood pressure rising."Don't be so naïve, Mars," Craig cautioned just before turning to finally leave. "In this case, they're the bosses and let's not kid ourselves. See you later."There was a beat of silence after he left and then James straightened up with a fake smile. "Well," he proclaimed loudly, "that went well.""Shut up," was Veronica's reply before she stomped off to her next class. 0o0o0 Veronica's bad mood followed her throughout the rest of the school day. It was only Logan's timely intervention at lunch that saved Dick's life and her from truly blowing her cover by whipping out one of her concealed knives and ruining everything by stabbing the goofy 09'er in the neck.Finally, the bell rang to signal the freedom that was awaiting her.Only, Veronica thought sourly as she packed up her bag, I don't get to go back to the apartment and chill, I have to go to a seedy motel and act cool and collected in front of the world's biggest douche.A half an hour later, found the blonde agent slowly trudging up the stairs to the room that James had texted her the number of earlier. She was still inwardly grumbling, but took pride in the fact that none of her moodiness could be spotted on her face.A moment later, after a deep sigh, Veronica had knocked on the door and walked in to find that she was the first one to arrive and that Craig was still as big of a self-absorbed prick as he'd been since they'd met.The reason for that conclusion? Veronica snorted and fought down a sudden urge to vomit at the sight of the other agent standing in front of the mirror in the room, wearing nothing but a towel and showing off his muscles…to himself."Sorry to interrupt your "me-time"", Veronica chose to be as obnoxious as possible and used air quotes around the last word before continuing with a smirk, "I can come back later if you want? Don't wanna come between you and your right hand."Craig didn't flush, which was a little disappointing to the blonde agent, but she took credit in it being because they were in that moment interrupted by her partner's arrival.James' raised brow told Veronica that he knew she'd been up to something, but willing to let it go for now. Craig cleared his throat and quickly dressed himself before ordering them to update him fully.Sighing, Veronica did as she was told, promising herself to pay Jake Kane a little visit for being the one responsible for getting Craig involved. 0o0o0 TBC… ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- CHAPTER TWELVE It had been a couple of strenuous days and Veronica wanted nothing more than to just relax for a bit. Thankfully her thing with Logan had been a saving grace for her mind, every morning he picked her up at Keith's place. They made the most of their rare moments alone, filling them with laughter and their now well established banter to get through an otherwise grueling day.Veronica cast a quick glance at Logan, who was sitting next to her in the quad of Neptune High, chatting amiably with Duncan Kane.To Veronica's mild annoyance, the rich heir kept eyeing her whenever he thought she didn't notice. Judging from the look in his eyes, he liked what he saw and Veronica wasn't in the mood to have a teenage boy running after her with his tongue out of his mouth.Except, her guilty conscience promptly pointed out, you already have one of those, don't ya?Eager to distract herself, Veronica shook her head and forced her weary mind to refocus on what had been happening ever since James and she had met with Craig in his motel room.With Jake Kane backing him and thus the department, Craig had successfully gotten his meaty hands on everything, including the notes that Veronica had compiled on Aaron Echolls.Thank God I hadn't written anything about the abuse down. Veronica thought, Logan would hate me if it became public knowledge.A big part of the blonde agent knew very well that that shouldn't matter in the long run. Embarrassing the teenager was a low price to pay to put an abuser, possibly a murderer, behind bars.When did I become so worried about hurting him? Veronica wondered, glaring a little at Duncan, who just kept on staring. I'm essentially breaking rules by omitting important details all because it might ruin the way Logan gets perceived by not only his peers but the world. I'm an idiot…"Veronica?Logan's voice broke her out of her self-hating thoughts, and she looked sideways, only to realize that while she'd been deep in thoughts, Logan had gotten up and now stood behind her with their lunch trays in one of his hands He was holding the free one out to her with a small smile on his lips."You need to get some books from your locker for your next class," he said and nodding in agreement, Veronica got to her feet."Wait for me." Duncan's voice suddenly rang out and Veronica had to swallow the urge to slap the guy. Not only was his puppy-dog staring at her annoying, but she was adult enough to realize that she had a lot of residual anger at the boy's father that he really didn't deserve to be on the receiving end of. He was still annoying though.Ten minutes later, Logan led Veronica into their shared class hand in hand. It was James' class and normally Veronica enjoyed it, knowing that no matter how little she paid attention, her partner wouldn't mind.Well, her angry side pointed out viciously as they sat down in their seats. That was before Craig showed up. I hate looking at him, the way he switches between staring at me and glaring suspiciously at Logan is pissing me of more and more. I really need to finish this case so we can leave before Logan has enough and acts out. His trouble with authorities seems to clash a little too much with Craig's wish to follow every rule and regulation…James and his "teacher's little helper", Craig, entered the class and with a heavy sigh, Veronica straightened up and tried to look like she was paying attention. 0o0o0 It took a little under a week before Veronica mentally said, Screw it, and decided to put a stop to the youngest Kane's growing attachment to her.He'd begun following her around in the hallway, sitting closer and closer to her in class and that day he'd nearly overheard one of her meetings with James and Craig. Enough was enough – If not for his own safety, then for her sanity.Without any warning whatsoever, Veronica walked up to him just as he was putting some books away in his locker, grabbed his arm and unceremoniously started dragging him to an unused classroom for a little chat."Look," she said, slamming the door after them as she turned to look at him. Veronica didn't get a chance to expand on her sentence though, because the next thing she knew, Duncan's lips were firmly on hers and he was kissing her for all he was worth.In a matter of seconds, after Veronica's brain had simply screamed at how wrong those lips felt upon hers, she had ripped herself off of Duncan, slammed her fist into his nose and slung him roughly across her shoulder where he landed harshly on the floor.Thirty minutes after that, she was sitting in front of the school's vice principal, a tall, weary-looking man in his forties named Clemmons. Next to her sat Duncan with an icepack on his face that she'd all but slammed at his nose a moment ago when the blood just kept on coming from his no doubt broken appendage.Behind the Kane heir stood his posh-looking parents. They were alternating between glaring at her and practically cooing at their injured son. Veronica wanted nothing more than to repeat the violence on the elder Kane when the door burst open and Craig stumbled in, a living reminder of how much his impatience had ruined her chances at a clean job well done."Miss Mars!" Craig bellowed, freezing in the next instant as his eyes connected with Jake Kane.Huh, interesting, Veronica thought, eyeing the two men and her fellow agent's immediate loss of color. It seems like Jakey boy isn't aware of my undercover status or otherwise Craig the Buttmonkey wouldn't be so scared of him realizing my real self. Neato. Jake's eyes narrowed as he took in the other man's reaction and Veronica immediately jumped into the role she'd spent so long perfecting in an attempt to keep Craig from blurting out every little secret to the wealthy man."Look Mr. Johnson, I'm sorry I didn't show up for our scheduled thingie earlier, but I was like totally being attacked and had to defend myself just like my uncle Keith has taught me.""So you admit that you injured my son?" Duncan's mother, Celeste, instantly swooped down upon the still sitting Veronica like an avenging angel.On one hand, Veronica kind of admired the blind devotion the older woman had for her son and understood that she was bound to be overly protective after losing her daughter, but mostly she was just fed up with it all and a small part of her own personality flew out unrestricted."Excuse me? Did the whole "getting assaulted" fly right over your overly processed head?""Miss Mars," Clemmons interjected before anyone lost their dumbfounded expressions at her sass. Evidently, there weren't all that many people talking back to the Kane's.No wonder Lily was so rebellious—they're frozen stiff without any real effort and don't seem like cheery people at all, Veronica thought and, not for the first time, she had an inkling that she and Lily Kane would probably have gotten along famously if they'd been the same age and if the girl wasn't in fact deceased.Craig spoke again and broke her out of her thoughts, turning her mood even sourer when the bulky agent simply proceeded to apologize for Veronica's actions. In the end, it was only Clemmons' surprisingly dominant glare that kept her from spouting something that probably wouldn't have helped matters, and within fifteen minutes the matter was resolved.At least resolved in the way that would make sure that the darling Kane heir wasn't implicated in a possible scandal and Veronica's records at the school wasn't darkened by the assault. If she'd actually been a teenage girl with a pure record, Veronica would more than likely have been happy with that and no suspension. As it was, she was growing a little bitter at the way the rich people in Neptune just could do no wrong."Don't start!" Veronica held up a hand, when Craig loomed over her as soon as the Kane family disappeared out of Clemmons office with the vice principal seeing them out himself. "I will make what I did to Duncan look like a love tap compared to what I'll do to you if you don't keep your mouth shut."Craig scowled, but wisely stepped down. He seemed to remember the way she'd taken him down in training a few years back and didn't want a repeat."Smart man," Veronica mumbled and all but ran to her car so she could go back to her uncle's place and just shed her undercover skin for a little bit. 0o0o0 After a long shower with some of her music turned up way too loud if the neighbor's banging on the walls was any indication, Veronica felt a little more human.She had dressed in a comfortable pair of sweats and a tank top and was just opening the fridge to make some quick dinner when the door opened and her uncle walked through it with a big smile on his face."What's cookin' Sugar?""Really?" Veronica tilted her head a little, closing the fridge when nothing inside tempted her. Apparently she was going to order in and keep being a disappointment to herself in terms of making time for decent nourishment. She shook of her maudlin thoughts and added with a teasing tone in her voice, "That's the persona you're using today? Did you see some Western again, 'cause I remember telling you that was a big no no the other day, Uncle Keith."Keith grinned and tipped an invisible hat on his head. "Yes Ma'am, I sure did.""If I wasn't so tired, you'd be in big trouble, Mister."Like a switch being turned on, Keith's expression turned surprisingly concerned. "Everything okay, Kiddo?"Veronica smiled, happy in the knowledge that despite everything and their differences, Keith Mars would always have her back. "It's just been one of those days, you know."Smiling, Keith reached over and gently squeezed her shoulder and walked to his bedroom without saying anything else to presumably shower if Veronica had to guess.After a quick call to the nearest pizza joint, Veronica settled on the ratty couch with Back-up to loose herself in some trashy television.A few minutes later, the doorbell rang and she groaned as she made her way off her comfy spot. She grabbed her wallet and shushed the protective Pit that she loved so much before opening the door to pay the pizza man.Only it wasn't the pizza man, but a seemingly very angry Logan Echolls, who immediately brushed past her to slam the door behind them. "Mind telling me why the hell you thought it was a good idea to attack my best friend, Veronica?"Yup, Veronica thought, and prepared herself for a no doubt exhausting discussion with her fake boyfriend; it's just one of those damn days alright…TBC… ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- CHAPTER THIRTEEN It affected Veronica to have Logan so close to her, it affected her more than she was willing to admit. Especially right then and there – his anger giving his usual intensity a boost that inexplicably sent a rush of something way too south of Veronica's body.Then he repeated his earlier question in a louder volume and Veronica came to her senses, even as she grew more and more irritated by the way things were eclipsing for her.Before she could say anything, her uncle emerged from his bedroom and from the way he was eyeing them, Veronica knew he would be more than willing to shoot first and then ask questions later."Everything okay in here?" His tone was cautious, but unfailingly polite as he stared Logan down.With a sigh, Veronica nodded and grabbed Logan's arm. "Everything's just fine, Uncle Keith. Logan and I just have some stuff to talk about. We'll go outside so we won't bother you. There's money in my wallet for the pizza that's about to show. See you later."Without giving Keith any chance to object, Veronica basically dragged the teenager with her outside and didn't stop until they reached the parking lot where Logan aggressively ripped his arm out of her grip and practically growled at her."I'm still waiting for some damned answers, Veronica!""Okay first of all, don't you take that tone with me, Logan!" Veronica snapped, backing one step away when the angry teen was way too close to her personal bubble in his rage. "And secondly, I don't owe you any explanation whatsoever!""He's my best friend! He's a fucking innocent guy, whose too damn naïve to deserve that kind of thing happening to him. You fucking broke his nose, Veronica! He's got two black eyes and he looks like he's been completely beaten down.""Yeah well, maybe he deserved it. Just be happy I didn't pull out my tazer on him!" Veronica immediately wanted to take her words back, barely suppressing a grimace when Logan straightened up, looking even angrier."He's a civilian and you're probably trained in several death inducing stunts, Miss Agent! He's not dangerous and if you've somehow decided to try and pin Lily's death on him, I'll—""Whoa!" Veronica held up a hand and did her best "I'm-right-you're-so-stupid"-stare. "Don't make me even dumber than you obviously think I am. You know damn well who I truly suspect of Lily's murder, so don't even!"Taking a deep breath, Veronica tried to calm her temper, but it was a futile attempt as Logan disregarded her personal space yet again and stepped closer with a curse."Then it's even more messed up, Veronica! Duncan's not a fighter, no matter what you think he did, he damn well didn't need to be fucking humiliated!""But I deserved to be forced into accepting him assaulting me sexually, is that it?" Veronica screamed, "You're so…Argh, he fucking kissed me, all right? I didn't think and I'm sorry that he got so hurt, but dammit Logan, he had no right to touch me and I thought you were at least my friend enough to agree with that! I thought you weren't like the rest of this crazy town that seems to only listen to the 09'er people and ignore everyone else!"Logan had frozen during Veronica's spiel and for the first time the blonde realized that maybe he'd not known the full story. It was confirmed when the blood slowly left his face and his eyes turned darker than she'd ever seen them. "He touched you?"The tone was eerily calm, and there was no doubt in Veronica's mind in that moment just who his father was. They shared the same chilling danger vibe that made most people want to run away and hide.Veronica wasn't most people. With a frustrated groan, she grabbed his face and forced him to meet her eyes. "I don't care what is going on inside that head of yours, Echolls, but get it out of your mind right now. It's been handled, and like you so nicely put it earlier, I'm fully capable of handling myself."The expression in Logan's eyes changed too quickly for Veronica to truly decipher all his emotions, but she nearly groaned in annoyance when it settled onto guilt."I don't think we should be together anymore."The words shocked Veronica, almost as much as they seemed to shock Logan and he was the one who'd spoken them in the first place."Err…" Veronica took a step back and crossed her arms, trying to not feel as jolted as she was. "That was quite a change of subject there, Buddy."Logan sighed, running a hand across his face, as if he subconsciously wanted to wipe the last day away as much as she did. "Look," he said quietly, "it's not like this was ever going to go somewhere right now. I know you care about me and you have no idea how much I care about you. When I heard what you did to Duncan, I think my mind just jumped ahead and realized all the problems we face. You could lose your job and even though I'm supposed to help you find evidence, maybe even against my own father, I know that this thing between us is…Well, there's more than we're willing to admit, isn't there? It's distracting you from bringing justice to Lily."Veronica didn't reply –couldn't reply – and could barely stand to keep looking her now ex-fake-boyfriend in the eyes. Logan continued softly, looking more wrecked than she'd anticipated when her mind had tried to prepare her for this thing maybe happening."I know our story is epic, Veronica. Spanning years and continents. I just don't want to risk the whole, ruined lives and bloodshed, you know?""That's…" Veronica hesitated, but then realized that like it or not, she had to be the adult in this and she finished strongly, "that's very mature of you, Logan. For what it's worth, I think you're making the right decision. Also, please understand that whether or not I manage to convict Aaron, I will be making damn sure he gets some kind of pain for what he's put you through."Logan nodded, but his eyes dimmed at the mention of the abuse he'd suffered for so long. It made Veronica even more eager to dole out some justice of her own.A moment later, she had to chuckle when Logan smirked a little and told her, "Even though he was an ass, I'm still not happy about the Duncan thing.""I know, but like I said," Veronica responded, "he's just lucky I didn't pull out my tazer."They shared a smile and for the first time since Veronica had met the young 09'er, she had no idea what to do next. Apparently, neither did he. She doubted he'd had any idea of this happening when he'd stormed over to chew her out.Finally, after a few awkward moments, Logan seemed to come to a decision. He walked over to Veronica and planted a gentle kiss on the tip of her nose before straightening back up again with a smile. "It's been an experience, Veronica Mars. I'll find you when I'm eighteen."With those words, Veronica mutely watched the young man she could now admit to caring too much about turn around to leave."Damn it," she muttered when he reached his car and without thinking, she ran to his side and unceremoniously grabbed his face and turned it down to her height. "Just one more time," she whispered and slanted her lips over his. 0o0o0 A few days later, Veronica was eating lunch in the quad with Mac. Since her break up with the uncrowned king of Neptune High, she was no longer officially welcome in the 09'er midst, and spent her free time with her only "friend".It suited Veronica just fine. She was still silently shocked at just how much Logan ending their thing had hurt.It's weird, she thought, biting into the cafeteria lasagna that tasted more like cardboard than anything else, we haven't known each other that long and it was pretty much doomed to fail from the get go, but I wasn't even this shaken up when my last relationship ended…Veronica grimaced at the thought of her last boyfriend. A radio host named Piz that had loved her more than she deserved and hadn't been loved enough in return. Or at all, Veronica's guilty conscience pointed out and she threw her fork into her plate with a small groan of exasperation."Everything's ok?" Mac looked up from the laptop; she'd been fiddling with ever since sitting down without a word. "Craig's still giving you a hard time? James has me on standby to mess with his bank records if he keeps it up."Veronica smiled and shook her head and since Mac didn't know her so well, she trusted the blonde's conformation and turned her attention back on whatever she was doing.At the mention of Craig, Veronica's mood turned dark. She couldn't figure the man out. He'd been the biggest advocate for how wrong the thing with Logan was, but when she'd announced them breaking it off, he'd gone crazy with anger.It had turned into a variable screaming match that made the one she'd had with Logan look like a friendly debate. In the end, Veronica realized that he'd somehow told Jake Kane that they were on to something big and that the case would be solved within weeks, if not days.To be honest, it suited her just fine. A sick part of Veronica just wanted him to suffer, childishly blaming him a little for Logan's actions as he was the one who got Jake Kane more involved and thus soured her mood and ended up distracting her. Also, it lent her a perfect opportunity to rib the other agent when he got too much into his arrogance.The result of that being that for the first time since his arrival in Neptune, Craig was almost leaving her alone. It meant that Veronica now had ample time to use the brain that she had been praised for by very many people and she was tinkering with the beginnings of a plan.An insane plan, Veronica knew and one that could both lead to the answers she was looking for and massive amount of hurt at the same time.Two hours later, Veronica was walking to her weekly meeting slash detention with James. He took one look at her and dragged her into nearest empty classroom so the two students, who'd legitimately earned their detention didn't overhear them talk.Ten minutes was all it took to outline her plan, and Veronica knew it was only her partner's respect for her intelligence that kept him from shouting when he spoke next."Have you completely lost your mind, Veronica?"It was a testament to just how serious he was when he used her full name. Veronica hadn't had a clue that she would prefer him using "Ronnie"."It's a solid plan, James." She started, but the older man roughly cut her off with a hand swipe through the air."Solid or not, it's ridiculous! I had no idea that losing your boy toy would ruin your goddamn mind!""Hey!" Veronica crossed her arms defensively, knowing if she didn't there was a chance she might slap her partner and friend."Sorry," James mumbled, stepping back to lean his weight on the wall with a heavy sigh. "Look, I get that you're more eager than all of us to get out of this stupid town, especially after you actually breaking your 'I-don't-care-for-nothing-but-the-job-'stick. Oh, don't give me that," James added when it looked like Veronica might object. "Despite everything Echolls got under your skin and normally I'd say that was great. Hell, I'm in no way shape or form capable of judging you because of Cindy, but unlike you, I kept things professional. I never forgot my mission in this town, and you act like your old self times a hundred right now all because the kid showed balls and maturity by actually ending things before you both got in too deep.""Are you done?" Veronica practically growled the words, and waited for him to nod before speaking again."I'm not hurt by Logan ending things, I'm grateful. I knew from the beginning it was doomed to fail, and let's face it, it's not like what he and I had was real – we got together to try and suss out the suspect."James looked at her with something akin to pity in his eyes, and Veronica didn't know what she wanted most. Smack him or bury herself in his arms for a much needed hug. She leaned to toward the first one when he opened his mouth yet again."You're so wrong; Ronnie and you don't even know it. I've known you since you were a rookie and never have I seen you react to another person like Logan Echolls. There's no doubt in my mind that had he been the guilty party to Lily Kane's murder as we first suspected, you would've eventually gotten him out of here and helped him disappear. You're in love with him and it's scaring the smart right out of you. It's that fear that's making you think up idiotic plans that you know will firmly put a stop to his feelings for you if he ever finds out what you've done."Closing her eyes, Veronica swallowed down an uncharacteristic need to let herself cry. After a few moments, she felt more in control and gazed back at her friend. "How do you manage to keep Mac close yet away at the same time?"James smiled sadly. "Easy," he replied, "I don't let myself hope for anything more. Maybe when she's eighteen I'll help her with a job, but after that I have to let her go. It's not meant to be for us, at least not right now.""It's the same with me and him, you know." Veronica whispered, feeling oddly vulnerable as the words left her lips. "You're right about my caring too much and vice versa, but that only makes my plan more important. I'm ninety-nine percent sure that I'm right about this and he suffers under that psycho's domain every single day. He's got scars, James. Please, if it turns out I'm wrong, I promise I won't deviate from the mission parameters anymore, you get first say in everything."After what felt like an eternity where she held her breath, Veronica saw the instant where James gave in and rewarded him with a tight hug. "It'll work out, I'm sure of it.""It damn well better," James whispered into her hair and squeezed her tight. "But it's your body. I guess…" 0o0o0 Thirty-two hours later found Veronica in the shower. She was scrubbing her skin raw almost to the point of blood. She had already nearly emptied one bottle of her shower-gel and was in the middle of scouring that one part of her body that she'd had to use that night.There was no happiness in knowing that she'd been right, that she now had a confession on tape. There was only disgust. Disgust for what she'd seen, felt and more importantly willingly done. It wasn't the first time Veronica had had to use her body, but it was definitely the last, of that she had no doubt.At the thought of what had transpired, Veronica felt nauseous again and rushed to the toilet, naked as the day she was born, emptying her already emptied stomach once again.Afterwards, Veronica walked back into the shower stall and continued trying in vain to cleanse herself from her actions. She didn't notice when the near scalding water turned ice cold, she just kept on mechanically scrubbing her now bleeding skin raw. Her eyes kept replaying between what she'd done and the fact that Logan knew about it. He'd come home earlier than anticipated and seen her leave just as police cars with James in front turned up to make the well-deserved arrest."Oh fuck!"It was Craig's voice, and under normal circumstances, Veronica would probably have drop-kicked him for seeing her in her naked form, but in that moment she just continued her shower without any reaction.To her vague surprise, Craig shut off the water and wrapped her in a big towel and started carefully drying her off, while simultaneously cursing at the sight of her abused skin."There's a recording," Veronica mumbled dazedly, after a few minutes. "I got you what you wanted."Craig froze in his task, and tried meeting her eyes. It was abnormal to see so much concern in the conceited agent's face. "Not like this, Veronica. Jesus Christ, not like this."He lifted her tiny form in his massive arms and carried her to her bedroom, ignoring the hovering form of her uncle, who was undoubtedly the one that had called him here if Veronica had to use any of her non-existent strength to guess.As if she was made of the frailest glass, Craig placed her gently on the bed and sat down next to her."He hates me," Veronica whispered, trying to ignore the mental images of Logan's horrified and betrayed face when he'd realized what she'd done, "he's never going to forgive me for this. I had sex with his dad to get him to confess...He hates me.""I'm so fucking sorry, Veronica," Craig replied and enveloped her in his arms. She didn't feel like she deserved comfort after what she'd done and tried to wriggle out of his grip, but it only tightened and a small part of her couldn't believe she was allowing Craig Jackson of all people to sooth her. It would've seemed impossible to her if she hadn't been the one experiencing it."The case will be solved now," Veronica muttered, justifying her actions or at least attempting to. "There's more than enough evidence. Lynne and he will be left in peace now. Everything's going to be okay now; it's okay if he hates me…""Shh, Mars," Craig ordered, rocking them carefully from side to side as if she needed to be cradled to sleep, "we'll talk about it in the morning. Just try to let it go, I'll keep watch."Against every bone in her body demanding that she get back into her shower and clean of everything, Veronica felt herself drifting off, tears spilling unknowingly down her cheeks as she finally closed her eyes and left everything behind. 0o0o0 TBC… ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- CHAPTER FOURTEEN Logan Echolls wasn't having the best of days.Hell, his entire year had pretty much been a disaster. What, with his father upping his abuse tendencies little by little, his cheating girlfriend being murdered and topping it all by falling in love with an undercover agent that wound up breaking him apart in more ways than he'd ever imagined being able to break.The glass in his hand was empty; he could still feel the burn of the scotch working its way through his system."Logan?"His friend's voice distracted Logan from grabbing the bottle of scotch and finishing it off. To be fair, he'd emptied a lot of bottles lately and it probably wouldn't look too good today of all days showing up drunk out of his mind. He was underage after all."What, Duncan?"Looking up at the brown-haired teenager, Logan had to repress the by-now familiar urge to kick his teeth in. Some small part of him hadn't, and probably never would, forgive the boy for what he'd done in regards to Veronica. But, Logan's mind pointed out, what she did was a hundred times worse and you already did beat him down for what he did. She's still out there.Duncan's nose was still a little crooked, and the sight gave him a little satisfaction in the middle of all his misery. Logan tried not looking too closely at the appendage when his friend finally spoke again."We have to go now, if you're absolutely certain that you wanna be there in time to—""Yeah, Man, I wanna be there." Logan cut through Duncan's words and got to his feet. He spared a second of gratitude for his mother's genes that somehow made him able to not wobble despite having drunk way too much for it to be possible otherwise."Let's go hear what my cheating, undercover cop girlfriend did in detail with my abusive and murdering father that got him convicted."Duncan's eyes dimmed at the mention of the girl he'd almost ended a friendship for with his stupid crush and Logan sighed, trying to sound less bitter and more like himself."After all, my mother wants to thank her for freeing her from her marriage and making her famous again in person." 0o0o0 "Ronnie…""…""Come on, girl, it's time.""…""Do you want me to kick this door in, 'cause you know I'll totally do it if you don't come out right now."There was yet another heavy moment of silence before the click of the lock sounded and the door opened a fraction to allow Veronica enough space to peek her head out."I'm sick. I can't go." It wouldn't be a lie to say that the tone of Veronica's voice was pitiful. Unfortunately for her, it didn't seem to have any effect on James whatsoever."Tough, it's gotta be done."Sighing, Veronica emerged from the motel room she'd locked herself in ever since arriving in town the day before. "I hate when you're the reasonable one, you know. It's unnatural."James smirked and ruffled her hair gently. "It ain't no picnic for me either, Ronnie. Now, here," he handed her a bag of clean clothes and pushed her back into the room he'd just so painstakingly dragged her from. "Clean clothes for you, go shower 'cause you stink and I can't have you looking how you feel today. If you're not ready to leave in thirty minutes, I'm putting you over my shoulder and you'll go as you are. We can't be late.""I know," Veronica sighed and turned to leave for the bathroom. "We've waited seven months for this, I'm not risking any delays."James' eyes showed none of the empathy he felt for the weary-looking woman when he simply responded with a, "I hear ya," before making himself comfortable on the ruffled bed and started channel surfing while he waited.Today was going to suck either way, so he might as well enjoy some Simpson's while he waited for his guilt ridden partner to get ready. 0o0o0 TBC… ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- CHAPTER FIFTEEN "Agent Mars," the attorney's voice was full to the brim with business, knowing from their earlier conversations just how not interested in publicity Veronica was, "would you tell us how you got a confession from the accused?"Veronica bit her lip, glanced over at the man in question. Aaron was using all of his acting skills to look benign and sad at the circumstances he now found himself in. He was far from the man that had nearly choked her to death when he realized the truth.Taking a deep breath, Veronica delved into the memories even as her mouth told her story.It had been surprisingly easy to seduce the older Echolls, in fact Veronica had been the one to let herself be seduced. Never had another human's touch irked her so, disgust simmering just beneath the surface, coupled with self-loathing for what she was doing.The sex itself was a memory that Veronica skimmed past, not able to stomach reliving the mechanics of it. After, Aaron had stroked her body and kissed her neck before leaving to get something to drink. Veronica had used her time wisely, eyeing her surroundings in the pool house where she'd recognized some of the scenes of his earlier conquests in the videotapes.The moment the actor returned to the room, Veronica had pointed at the ceiling fan, and more importantly, the tiny camera lens and acted like any normal woman would in that situation, threatening him with exposure and that had gotten Aaron's temper up like nothing else and within moments they were wrestling on the still ruffled bed. His hands were tight around her neck while he grinned sadistically and told her that at least he'd gotten to fuck her before killing her just like with Lily Kane."Evidently," Veronica finished her tale coolly, "he said that he hoped the next blonde smart-mouthed slut in his bed was as good as Lily and myself and," Veronica swallowed as her gaze locked on the murderer sitting so close to her, "if she too got any ideas he would have scored a hattrick of dead bimbos. He continued spewing antagonistic words. At that point in time, I felt I had enough and managed to free myself and arrested him for murder and after he'd been handcuffed, I took the tape from the VCR and gave it to you as evidence."The lawyer smiled politely and thanked her for her time and looked to the judge and jury respectively, "No further questions, Your Honor."Veronica remained seated and prepared herself for the defense attorney's cross examination, knowing that it was going to be a brutal one. 0o0o0 An hour later, found an exhausted Veronica in the ladies room, compulsively washing her face and hands. Ever since her time with Aaron, the blonde had never been able to feel clean. It was as if there was a constant layer of dirt on her that no amount of cleansing could remove. Whenever she closed her eyes, Veronica saw him atop her, grinning evilly as he choked the life out of her and whispered the things she hadn't confessed to at the witness stand – the things that had both managed to give her the strength she needed to free herself and ruined any sense of assurance of her doing the right thing at the same time."I'm so gonna enjoy seeing Logan's poor little heart crushed again, his confusion when yet another one of his girls chose the better man. I'm gonna break him down like that weak frigid mother of his, show him that I am the fucking king in his world." Blinking out of the memory, Veronica turned off the water and dried her hands with some paper towels that she discarded in the trashcan with a heavy exhale.I broke so many rules that I don't even know how I can ever work in the field again, Veronica thought. She ran a hand through her hair and made her way toward the door where James was waiting for her. I will never be able to use myself in undercover missions again, no one will trust my judgment and I won't ever be able to forgive myself for what I did to Logan…Veronica hadn't lost her job when the method of how she'd gotten Aaron Echolls pinned for the murder of Lily Kane had become public knowledge, but Veronica knew it was more due to the fact that Jake Kane was grateful to her for finally locating his only daughter's killer than due to her own credentials. Even though she was the best, Veronica knew she'd crossed too many lines to ever truly be respected again.And yet, Veronica thought sadly, opening the door to exit the bathroom, none of that hurts me as much as knowing that I ruined everything with Logan. How can my feelings be so strong for someone that is essentially so wrong for me? We barely knew each other, but he made me happier than I can remember being in years.As if thinking about him, called him to her, Veronica saw him walking toward her and James on his way into the courtroom no doubt. Deciding to use some of that courage that she'd always been so proud of, Veronica stepped into his line of sight, ignoring the way James froze warily beside her at her actions."Logan…" Veronica's voice sounded a lot calmer than she felt. Inside of her, her heart was pounding and she was never more thankful for her deodorant choice because without it, her sweat would make her smell a lot less pleasant than currently.Logan stopped a few paces from her, his hazel eyes hidden behind an expensive-looking pair of sunglasses. For a moment that felt like forever to the blonde agent, he didn't move or say anything.Finally, he simply nodded and walked by her with a polite, "Excuse me, miss Mars," that nearly broke her already shattered heart."Well," James slapped her on the shoulder after a few seconds of awkward silence, "that wasn't so bad."Veronica didn't reply, simply followed her partner into the courtroom. She knew the truth and that was that Logan hated her and Veronica couldn't blame him one bit. 0o0o0 Honestly, when all was said and done the weeks of the trial were rather anticlimactic for Veronica. Her reputation at the bureau was shot to hell sure, but other than that is was a pretty clear cut case of the jury voting Aaron Echolls guilty and when he was sentenced to life in prison no one was really surprised.Veronica breathed a sigh of relief when he was led out of the courtroom amidst several people, but stiffened cautiously when he looked back at her, silently promising her payback. Veronica straightened up and used every bit of her training to smirk smugly, acting like his gaze didn't creep her out.James led her out through a side door to preserve their privacy from the packed crowd standing vigil in front of the court house. Paparazzi were screaming almost as loudly as Aaron's fans, who were crying and sobbing out their displeasure with the verdict.Veronica eyed the chaos that erupted when Logan and his mother came out, both wearing sunglasses and somber expressions. It was only Veronica's keen sense of observation that made her notice the tiny hints of Lynne Echolls true feelings, a tiny twitch of her lips when the crowd questioned her, the relaxed set of her shoulders and so on.Logan on the other hand was like stone, completely unreadable. Veronica saw his blank expression and swallowed down the by now familiar sensation of guilt that always threatened to overcome her. I wonder if things would've been different if we hadn't fought about the whole Duncan mess? She thought with a small wry smile playing on her lips.It was still somewhat morbidly amusing to Veronica that she'd let her emotions play her and ultimately lead her to breaking all of the rules to just get the whole thing solved and over with.In the midst of people flanking the Echolls', Veronica saw Duncan and his parents, alongside with a few others from the 09'er crowd like Dick Cassablancas. At least they made up; Veronica decided the thought cheered her up a little instead of making her seethe with frustration of the unfairness of everything. He won't be alone. As if sensing her gaze on him, Logan looked up, just as he was getting into the limousine parked in front of the court house to pick them up. Veronica couldn't see his eyes, and for one short second she grieved, wanting nothing more than to look at his beautiful eyes one last time even though she had no doubt that they'd be filled with the same contempt she saw in the mirror every day."I'm so sorry," she mouthed without sound and broke their stare off to disappear into the throng of people, James at her back to keep any vengeful fans from acting out."So," James muttered a little while later when they'd returned to the motel she'd lived in during the trial, "What happens next, Ronnie?"Veronica smiled, zipping up her bag after having finished packing her stuff, "Well," she said and threw the bag unceremoniously at him to catch, "I've got some paid leave to finish off and then I think I'm gonna switch departments seeing as undercover work isn't exactly in the cards for me anymore.James looked unusually serious as he carried her baggage to her car, "I can't say that I blame you. Those fuckheads in Washington have acted like total dirtbags to you during this whole mess, but…" he paused, slamming the trunk with unnecessary force, "I'm not looking forward to a new partner."Veronica grinned, for once enjoying a moment of pure mirth. "Aw, Craig will be so disappointed you think that. Anyway, don't sweat it. Give it a year or two and I think you'll have your ideal partner. I heard Mac is mighty interested in covert ops with you and she is very talented."To Veronica's amazement, James actually looked flushed at the mention of the teenage hacker. Apparently, she wasn't the only one, who'd been crossing a few lines during her time in Neptune."She won't be you, though.""At least she's not gonna fall in love with her suspects," Veronica pointed out, "too interested in you I think."Again, James looked uncomfortable and Veronica suddenly had a feeling that age difference or not, in a few years those two would be a force to be reckoned with. In and outside of their line of work.Good for them, Veronica thought and embraced her partner, her best friend. He deserves someone who can keep up with him and make sure he's not heading into trouble with that smart aleck attitude of his."Keep me posted on everything," she whispered into the soft fabric of his shirt and enjoyed his silent support. Throughout it all, James had been a pillar of support to her, and she knew without him saying it that he was rooting for everything to work out for her."Sure, Ronnie. Don't do anything I wouldn't do when I can't be there to keep an eye on you," he mumbled gruffly, stepping out of her embrace with an awkward scratch of his neck to camouflage his true emotions.Taking her cues from him one last time, Veronica shrugged in mock carelessness, "Well," she said as she got in the car and started the engine, "that kinda gives me free reins, doesn't it, Jamie?"Before he could say another word, Veronica drove off and left a part of herself behind that she hadn't known was ready to be given away in the first place; her heart."Let's hope the future will turn out better," she said to herself, reaching to turn up her music when her phone gave a beep and alerted her to an incoming text. Pulling over with a sigh, Veronica picked up her phone from the passenger seat and read the text.Ever so slowly, a small smile formed on her face and if James had been there, he would have grinned in relief at seeing a tiny spark of life coming back into her eyes. The text was simple, yet it made Veronica's heart soar like nothing else had in months. I'm sorry too. Until next time, Bobcat. 0o0o0 TBC… ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- CHAPTER SIXTEEN AKA THE CONCLUSION Time is a funny thing, Veronica thought with a small smile. She hadn't realized how quick it went by when she wasn't looking. Sighing, the blonde drew past the 'Welcome to Neptune' sign that she'd never truly believed she'd ever see again in person.If it hadn't been for Mac finally getting James to commit to her, I probably wouldn't even be here, Veronica continued, her mind pulling up the memories from her last visit. Memories that still haunted her and shaped the woman she was today.Veronica no longer did any undercover work. Her bosses and coworkers didn't really trust her and her own love of the games and tricks used during such work had cooled considerably as well. In the end, Veronica had transferred to the cold case division, devoting all her time to finding closure for the families and friends left behind without any answers.It was the complete opposite of what she thought she'd ever be doing and she'd discovered that she had quite a knack for solving the puzzles and further more that she truly enjoyed it. The thought of James crossed Veronica's mind and she shook her head with a smile. Neither of us ever expected to do anything else, we didn't want to do anything else and look at us now. James had resigned two years earlier when Mac had been targeted by some criminals for her talent and they now ran a very successful business that required Mac's before mentioned talents and James' uncanny ability to bullshit. Last thing Veronica had heard, Jake Kane was very interested in buying their work.And now here we are, Veronica thought as she took the turn to the house where her old partner lived with Mac and were going to host their engagement party. Evidently, they'd gotten more than one offer from Logan to pay for a big shindig at the Grande Hotel, but James wasn't a fancy guy and preferred staying in a place where he'd mapped out all exits and knew any and all hiding places. He was still a paranoid bastard, Veronica smiled at the thought, because like it or not, she knew that she was exactly the same.In the next moment, her smile dimmed when her mind traveled to Logan. He'd somehow ended up making great friends with not only James, but Mac as well. They'd gone to Hearst college together and been close ever since, alongside Wallace Fennel of all people, who'd later moved away to play professional basketball and was doing very well for himself.To be honest, Veronica hadn't pictured the brash young man going to college at all, especially since he'd had a period of acting out ever since his father's trial and subsequent conviction. Then, according to Mac, who'd told Veronica every excruciating detail at her earliest opportunity, Logan had stumbled across one of his friends raping a freshman and unveiled him as the serial rapist running rampant on campus and turned his life around. He'd shut himself off from the frat parties, to Dick Cassablancas' unending grief, stopped sleeping around and just overall stopped acting like a spoiled rich kid with too much money and too little sense.After graduating from Hearst, Logan had vanished of the radar and Veronica had forced herself to let go of the teenager she'd fallen so in love with and stopped keeping track of him. Only, it had proved impossible, when, a year later he'd returned with a bestselling book that was in the process of being made into a TV-show. It was about a brash, young high school girl, desperately trying to solve her best friend's murder and every other crime in her town while alienating everyone in the process.The main character reminded Veronica of someone specific indeed and gave her a tiny hope that she wasn't the only one carrying a torch in her heart.Finally, Veronica reached her destination and pulled in at the curb near her friend's home. Judging from the multiple arrays of vehicles around the street, she was by no means the first to arrive.Biting her lip, Veronica looked at herself in her rearview-mirror, suddenly overloaded with nerves and feeling like a teenage girl at the sight of tiredness and small bags under her eyes that not even makeup could conceal entirely.What did you expect? Veronica's inner bitch snarked bitterly, you're 31 so stop kidding yourself that he'll even be interested anymore. He's 22, way too good-looking and famous to even look at you again. Girls his own age are falling all over him, so just stop fussing, straighten your back and get in there and be happy for your best friend's sake!"Ronnie!"Veronica jumped out of her rather self-loathing oriented thoughts and broke into a wide smile at the sight of James all but running toward her. Within seconds, she'd exited her car and jumped into his arms which made her old partner groan with mock exhaustion and then break into a booming laugh."Damn it, Girly Girl," he said, squeezing her tightly before setting her much smaller frame back onto the ground, "but I missed your sorry ass.""Stop looking at my ass," Veronica grinned and turned to get her bag out of her car, "you're almost a married man, Jamie so don't ruin it so soon.""She won't let me go," James bragged like the lovesick groom to be that he was, "especially since she finally got me to agree to marry her. Anyway, 'nuff chitchat, Mac is dying to see you!"Veronica simply rolled her eyes and took the hand James reached toward her and allowed him to drag her into his house. 0o0o0 A couple of hours later, Veronica was exhausted from keeping up a fake smile on her face. She expertly ignored the whispers that had erupted when people slowly began realizing who she was, and gravitated around the engaged couple at all times.She'd laughed genuinely though when Mac had acted nothing like her cool and collected self at her arrival. She was grinning broadly when the computer expert grabbed her in a move eerily similar to James and spun her around like she weighed nothing at all.After a few minutes of generic small talk, Mac looked around and lowered her voice. "I can't really believe my life right now. I'm so happy it's almost impossible to understand."Veronica smiled and planted a hand on the younger woman's shoulder, trying to calm her down a little. "It's perfectly okay, because your life is wonderful. You got the guy you've always wanted and your work lives are booming and you should enjoy yourself. I know how hard it was for you to convince him to give you a legitimate chance for more after all. You've suffered enough."Mac broke into a small smile and shrugged. "Yeah, well…I know we're not exactly the standard couple and believe me the people in this town have gossiped about us like you wouldn't believe, but…" Mac paused and then smirked with a completely confident look in her eyes, "Like I said to anyone stupid enough to actually say anything. I love James and he sure as hell loves me, so fuck 'em, it's our lives."Next thing Veronica knew, Mac had embraced her again and dragged her over to meet some of her friends.Not long after that, the thing Veronica dreaded more than anything happened. Logan Echolls arrived and his eyes stayed on her the rest of the night.It made everything inside the blonde tingle in an almost forgotten way, but she didn't have the courage to actually go over and talk to him. He didn't seem to want to talk to her anyway, Veronica mutely decided. Every time she looked back at him, he merely nodded and looked away.As the evening progressed, Veronica hated herself more and more. Just as she finally managed to convince herself to go over and at least greet the man, Logan abruptly left. His arm swung over a beautiful blonde girl's shoulders and a racy smirk on his face that told its own story of what they were about to do with each other.To say that Veronica was mentally weary as she got ready for some much needed sleep was an understatement. At the same time, she tried telling herself that she was clearly right all along. Logan's infatuation with her had long since dried up. He'd let go of her and probably still hated her for what she'd done deep down.At least, she thought sadly as sleep began to overtake her, I know now and can get on with my own life again… 0o0o0 Two days later, Veronica was frantically trying to procure a decent wedding gift that wouldn't blow her savings. She'd forgotten just how effing expensive things were in Neptune.Next to her, her uncle Keith was chuckling on and off at the sight of growing despair on her face. It was really annoying and she was beginning to regret inviting him along so they could catch up.Finally, after a few hours of basically making a fool of herself in front of one of the only men she respected, Veronica semi-politely asked him to make like a banana and split.Keith grinned, hugged her goodbye and told her he'd see her at the wedding the next day before finally leaving.After another hour, Veronica threw in the towel and bought one of the most generic wedding presents ever, some fancy dinnerware that cost more than she'd like to admit. She smiled tiredly to the overly chipper salesgirl that she vaguely recognized from her stint in Neptune High – fortunately the recognition was one-sided and Veronica managed to escape to her car unmolested.Twenty minutes later, Veronica pulled up to the parking area by the Grande Hotel, handed her car keys to a slightly disappointed-looking valet, who was probably used to more glamorous vehicles.Veronica had decided to let the almost newlyweds share their last night as unwed by themselves for one last bout of sinful togetherness. Despite Mac and James' attempts of changing her mind, Veronica booked herself a room at the hotel. She'd chosen the Grande for the privacy opportunities, knowing from experience that places like the Camelot Motel didn't quite offer the same standard.Also, Veronica's inner voice pointed out sadly, it may be the last chance I have to run into Logan.The blonde agent had heard through the grapevine that the famous author had foregone owning a house in Neptune ever since he'd left town, and with his sense of style, there was nowhere else he'd choose to stay. Especially his childhood home which his mother still owned, but rarely occupied. She'd bet her badge on that.So deep in her mind was Veronica that she didn't notice that the object of her thoughts was standing in the elevator that she'd just stepped into."Hello, Veronica."Startling like a scared colt, Veronica looked up and froze. She'd only seen him from across the room at James' engagement party, and so this was the first real glimpse of the man Logan had grown into.Gone were the blonde highlights and the almost iconic necklace. No longer was he clad in casual designer clothing, now he was wearing a gorgeous Armani suit and tie that really did a great job of pointing out to Veronica just how out of his league she was these days. Also, there was stubble. Stubble that made her want to lean up against him and caress his skin.After a few moments, she realized that she hadn't returned his greeting and quickly did so.Logan looked her up and down, and all the female insecurities that Veronica had suffered from ever since entering Neptune resurfaced with the power of a tsunami. "So," he said with a smug look in his eyes that inexplicably sent a wave of pure lust down her spine, "you've changed."That kinda killed the lustful feelings like nothing else and Veronica almost snarled when Logan continued mockingly."Honestly, I hadn't expected you to come back at all. I thought you'd value your friendships a little more, but then again, it's always been your way or the highway, so why I'm surprised at all is beyond my comprehension.""What the hell is that supposed to mean?"Logan chuckled and said just as the elevator doors opened on her floor, "Your reputation isn't exactly the best. A whoring public servant does give their friends some bad press. Mac and James act like they don't care, but come on, of course they do."Anger like Veronica hadn't felt in years overtook her and she stepped up to Logan, eyeing him with a mix of fury and a tiny bit of hurt. "You don't get to call me a whore, Logan. You know why I did what I did, and if you hadn't been so fucking busy trying to screw said whore and not giving a shit if she lost everything, she might not have had to do that whoring!"Something seemed to explode within Logan, and for one brief second, she felt real fear as he hissed hatefully, "Fuck, I loathe you!"Instead of backing down as every instinct she'd ever cultivated over the years screamed for her to do, Veronica simply sneered in reply, "Well, right back at ya, Rich Boy!"The two of them fairly steamed with rage, and then suddenly, as if a switch went off, Logan and Veronica attacked each other passionately.This was no tender, lingering kiss of adoration. It was violence, lust and sex and both of them loved it.Veronica was unceremoniously slammed up against the wall of the now moving again elevator and Logan's before mentioned stubble was really working for her as he kissed and licked his way down her neck, biting her briefly every now and again.Groaning wantonly, Veronica roughly grabbed Logan's glorious set of hair and yanked him back up to her so she could slant her lips over his and push her tongue straight back into his mouth. She wrapped one leg halfway up his legs, all but clawing at his back with desperation.Logan's one hand was wrapped around her leg, and the other was busy sneaking its way roughly down the front of her jeans.A startled cough managed to bring the two of them out of their almost public sex. Logan pulled his hand free of her pants, leaving a blushing Veronica to all but whimper at the loss. It didn't help her embarrassment that the cougher turned out to be none other than Jake Kane."Hello, Jake," Logan said as if he'd not just been caught red-handed engaging in public indecency. He casually gripped Veronica around her waist and led her out of the elevator and past the still gawping billionaire. "Goodbye, Jake."Logan nonchalantly led Veronica toward the penthouse suite's door and unlocked the door slowly, as if he' not been consumed by the same fire as Veronica mere minutes earlier. A part of her was saddened by how easy his passion could be directed.I guess he was just too angry and let it out that way, Veronica thought, he's probably disgusted about what nearly happened and—Veronica barely finished her thought before Logan once again slammed her up against a flat surface and continued right where they'd left off."Fuck," he groaned when his fingers once again sought out her sex and found her dripping. "You've no idea what you do to me, do you?"Clearly not expecting a response, Logan literally tore off her well-worn jeans and only muttered that he'd replace them before burying his head between her legs.Veronica moaned, banging her head against the wall in pure euphoria. Nothing had ever felt that good in her life and she almost cried, when, after too short a while, Logan pulled back and then roughly lifted her up in such an effortless way that she knew that he did a lot more in his daily life then just write books."Tell me you're okay with this!" Logan ordered hoarsely, trembling with some primal need that was fully reciprocated. "Tell me that I can finally have you."Muted by such desire for fulfillment, Veronica merely nodded and she groaned loudly when Logan quickly opened his own pants and within seconds, thrust almost violently into her.She was wrong; this was the best thing she'd ever felt, the inevitable flash of pain at the abrupt entrance barely registering in her lust-filled daze. Logan started a fierce pace that sent Veronica toward the edge much faster than anything she'd ever experienced, his teeth once again nipping at her exposed neck and shoulder.Both of them were groaning and moaning with primal enjoyment that told its own story of reconnection that neither of them could really comprehend.Then, as abruptly as it had begun, it ended with Veronica screaming out Logan's name as tidal waves of pleasure flooded over her. Logan roared out his own release seconds later, and the bite he gave her in the throes of his own passion only intensified her own.Sometime later, Veronica came back to her senses, only to realize that Logan had actually carried her into his gigantic bed and was gently washing her sex clean from their spent juices. She whimpered at the motions, still sensitive after their actions."Shh," Logan whispered and finished carefully. He put away the washcloth and returned wearing only his boxer briefs and a small smile.Veronica was too tired to say anything, although she knew that there were words that definitely needed to be said. Instead, she padded the empty space beside her and a moment later, she was drifting into some much deserved sleep with Logan's arms wrapped tightly around her.It was heaven. 0o0o0 The next morning, at the break of dawn, Veronica snuck out, wearing only her shirt since her ruined pants lay somewhere in the living room area of Logan's massive suite, and ran to her abandoned room. She showered with lightning speed, put on the dress she'd bought for James and Mac's wedding and rushed out so she could help her friends prepare for their big day.She knew she was taking the coward's way out, but even after two more rounds of passionate sex whereas the last time had been exceedingly tender and sweet, Veronica had no idea what to do. They hadn't spoken a word since Logan's rough commands before their first joining, and even the fearful-of-emotions-Veronica knew that couldn't be good.The blonde convinced herself that it had meant nothing to Logan, that it had just been the fulfillment of a longtime schoolboy fantasy.Of course when Logan showed up at the church some hours later, with sunglasses on and another beautiful woman by his side and not even a nod in her direction, Veronica's heart still shattered a little.I guess I was right, she thought sadly, trying to choke down the irrational urge to weep like a little girl.After the wedding, Veronica followed Mac's weeping parents to the festive room they'd rented for the wedding party and quickly hid away in the nearest corner. She was fully intending to keep up a cheerful façade for her friends' sake. Just…She just needed a little moment first to get herself together.The party itself was nice. The food was nice. The free drinks were very nice. The music was nice. The people were nice, not one scowl or sneer in her direction all night. None of that mattered though, because Logan still didn't acknowledge her existence whatsoever.Feeling a little tipsy after a few too many glasses of wine, Veronica finally decided to forget her own insecurities and went over to the man she'd slept with only hours before and so he really shouldn't be flirting so vividly with another woman right in front of her."You're such an asshole," was Veronica's diplomatic greeting and before her rational side could push down her drunken side, she'd emptied her glass in Logan's face with an evil grin.The entire room seemed to quiet in anticipation of what Logan would do. The woman at his side was glaring angrily up at Veronica, who ignored her as she was still fully focused on Logan."Come here," Logan got to his feet, looking a lot more elegant than a man covered in wine really should, to be honest, and took a firm hold of her hand before leading her out into the more private hallway.Once there, Logan took out a silk handkerchief from his breast pocket and finally wiped his face dry. Once finished, he looked down at Veronica with confused anger in his gaze."What the hell is wrong with you, Mars?"Veronica swallowed a lump, adrenaline slowly but surely draining the alcohol from her system. "Err… I'm sorry, but you totally deserved it!""Me?" Logan yelled, leading her until her back hit the wall. He slammed his hands up against the sides of her face, caging her in. "What the hell did I do? I'm not the one skulking away like a fucking coward in the dead of night and then acts like a damn child!""You know exactly what you've done!" Veronica screamed, ineffectually trying to push him away. "Showing up with that bimbo. Was I really so bad that you had to find a new model so fast? I know that I mean nothing to you now that you finally got to screw me senseless but couldn't you at least have waited before you broke my heart, huh?"To say that Logan looked stumped was a vast understatement. His eyes widened with surprise and his entire being screamed that he really didn't understand her words. "I'm not the one that left, Sweetheart. You clearly thought…I don't know what the hell you thought, but when I first kissed you and you didn't flee on the spot or hit me, I decided to take my chance. I've acted like an idiot ever since the whole Duncan and Aaron thing, and I know you hate my guts, but for fuck's sake, I've loved you since I was seventeen years old, I couldn't not have you, Veronica. Then after the most mind-blowing night of my life, where I honestly thought we were gonna talk about everything, I wake up to find that you've left in the middle of the night. How do you think that makes me feel?"Veronica froze. Her entire body and soul were immobile with pure shock. The look in Logan's eyes brought tears to her eyes, and then she watched in silence as Logan's gaze darkened and turned sad at her unresponsiveness. Another breath passed between them and to Veronica's despair, she watched as a devastated-looking Logan turned to walk away, out of her life and this time she knew it'd be for good."Wait." The plea left her lips without Veronica's conscious decision, but she didn't regret it, when Logan slowly turned with a dead look in his hazel eyes that broke her heart all over again.Come on, Girly Girl, Veronica ordered herself, stop being the coward he said you were and just tell him everything you've wanted to do since you left town."You're right," she whispered, unable to look away from him as if breaking their gaze would make him disappear right in front of her, "I am a coward, but not for the reasons you think. I'm a coward, I've been one since the day I met you. The second I saw you, I knew that I needed to be around you. I was too scared to acknowledge it of course, but then you bulldozed your way into my heart and I haven't been able to get you out ever since. I'm a coward because I slept with your dad instead of talking to you. I'm a coward because I left without really giving either of us closure. I'm a coward because when I woke up this morning and saw you sleeping next to me, the only thing I wanted was to cuddle up close to you and never leave, and I thought…I was too afraid of rejection. I'm a coward because I thought you hated me…I'm a coward because…" Veronica took a deep breath, "because I'm scared of letting you know that you're it for me. I know I'm older than you, and I'll grow saggy and gross before you, and I'm scared because I'm not in your league and—"Veronica didn't get to finish her rambled and non-thought out speech, because suddenly, Logan was once again crowding her. He was holding her head gently in his large, warm hands and the tear-filled eyes he wore matched hers."Don't you get it yet, Veronica," he muttered softly, caressing her cheeks gently with his thumbs, "I feel the exact same way about you."Blinking away her annoying tears, Veronica asked quietly, "Really?"The timid question brought a small smile to Logan's lips and he softly replied, "Really."Then, after a long moment of intense staring and silent conformation of their feelings, Logan bent down and kissed her and all was momentarily right with the world. 0o0o0 One and a half year later, found Veronica sitting in the office she now shared with her uncle. After Logan and she had revealed their new relationship, Keith had immediately offered her a job in his detective agency, he'd quit the job as a police officer after witnessing just one too many scenes of the corruption running rampant in Neptune.In that moment though, Veronica was not actually working. She was sitting and consuming impossible amounts of lasagna that kinda made her uncle a little sick."The mere speed you can eat astounds me," he said, barely restraining a disbelieving and slightly grossed out expression.Veronica scowled and took a massive bite as a silent rebellion. After chewing and swallowing, she scowled again and pointed her little plastic fork in Keith's direction. "You know it's unethical to mock pregnant women. Especially heavily pregnant women like myself. Your only niece, who subsequently also has a gun within her reach."Keith nodded and hurried out the door to finish his stake out that a pissed wife had demanded over the phone. He'd had a lot of experience with his niece's deadly mood swings over the last eight months and valued his manhood too much to chance another painful reminder of pregnant women's irrationality.Veronica giggled a little at her uncle's speedy retreat and then promptly broke into tears at the sight of the nearly empty food container, resting comfortably on her huge belly.Struggling to get herself under control, Veronica quickly dialed Logan's number. He immediately picked up."Is it time? Are you okay?" His tone sounded so worried and careful that Veronica fell in love with him all over again. He really was the greatest man ever.Then she shook it off and concentrated on what was important."I'm a big fat slob," she wailed into her phone. "I need you back here to look at me like you do so I feel just a little bit more human.""Baby," Logan's tone was now a little bit amused and Veronica had never hated him more. "You're beautiful, and I'll come home in a couple of hours. Rob is kinda hounding me to approve some new scenes."Pouting in a way that no thirty-three year old woman really should be allowed to, Veronica tried to stop acting like a fool. "Okay then…but don't be late tonight. James and Mac are coming over and I get freaked out about our coming child whenever I see their little devil throw down like a champ."Logan's chuckles went a long way to sooth the irrational beast currently possessing Veronica's mind and he quietly agreed. "I wouldn't miss it for the world, Baby Momma. See you in a few hours. Love you.""Love you too," Veronica replied and ended the call feeling a little more settled.As she leaned back in her comfy chair, Veronica pondered her current life with a smile on her face that made her look a lot younger than she was.Ever since she'd gotten back together with Logan, people had talked. A lot. Logan had expertly ignored it, using some of his experience from growing up with famous parents and Veronica had done her best to copy him.There'd been some ups and downs. Duncan hadn't really liked her reappearance in Neptune. People had warned Logan from being with her and above all there'd been a massive focus on their age difference and the fact that they'd been together when she was undercover at Neptune High.Veronica finally had an understanding of what Mac and James had endured, and she respected them even more for sticking with their decision.Logan had used the attention to finally get his book made into a TV-show, and it was a massive hit. Veronica had worked her butt off to prove to not only her uncle but the entire town that she didn't use her body to solve crime any more. That she was more than just a pretty face and spread legs.Judging from the increased business over the last year, it had worked really well.When Veronica had gotten pregnant, they'd briefly discussed marriage, and decided to get engaged. It was a status that neither of them had any rush to change just yet.To sum it up, Veronica grinned at the thought as she got to her feet with difficulty so she could drive home and get ready for their visitors. She was happy, Logan was happy and it didn't matter that some people couldn't look beyond their ages or former decisions.Mac had said it that day at her engagement party, and Veronica completely agreed.Fuck 'em, it's our lives. 0o0o0 THE END!
11228268	Our Dear Sparkling	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Jazz (Transformers), Prowl (Transformers), Skiplight (OC), Ratchet (Transformers), Smokescreen (Transformers), Bluestreak (Transformers), Optimus Prime, Sideswipe (Transformers), Sunstreaker (Transformers)", "Fandom": "Transformers - All Media Types", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by Nononlnkink", "chapters": "12/12", "completed": "2019-09-01", "published": "2017-06-17T00:00:00", "words": "7,280", "Additional Tags": "I'm Sorry, I just LOVE Skiplight, Transformer Sparklings, Ink goes crazy with this poor child, Domestic Fluff, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Smokescreen N O, Hurt/Comfort", "Relationship": "Jazz/Prowl", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Soft clicking from under his desk drew Prowl’s attention away from his work. Peering out at him were two small blue optics, bright and happy. Prowl smiled at the sparkling. “Why, Light, how did you get down there?” Skiplight crawled out of the dark space and held his tiny hands up to his carrier. Prowl picked up the gray sparkling and carefully arranged him in his lap. Skiplight immediately grabbed a datapad and stuck it in his mouth.The door swished open as Jazz walked through just in time to see Prowl struggling to get the report out of their creation’s mouth. He set an energon cube on Prowl’s desk and leaned over to tap Skiplight’s nose. “Whatcha got there, spark?” Sparklight spit out the datapad to giggle at his sire.Prowl shifted the giggly sparkling so that he was out of reach of any other datapads, and scooped up the energon cube. “He’s been quite adventurous today. He somehow managed to throw his toy up onto the top shelf and tried to climb up to retrieve it. I was worried he was going to fall.”“Heh, yer protocols nearly knocked me out of my chair earlier. I was terrified that something had happened to make you open the bond so much. Must have just been little Light here gettin’ into trouble.”“Ah,” Prowl’s wings dipped sheepishly, “I apologize.”“Nothin’ to be apologizin’ for, love.” Jazz leaned over to place a quick kiss against his bonded’s lips. “You want me to take ‘im for a bit?”Prowl immediately tightened his grip on Skiplight. The sparkling let out a squeak and squirmed to try and escape his carrier. Jazz held up his hands in a placating gesture. Sometimes the Praxian’s carrier protocols could skyrocket into over-protective mode with no warning. Smokescreen had claimed it was because of how precious and important sparklings are to Praxians. Very few were allowed to be around Skiplight without setting Prowl off. Optimus, Elita One, Ratchet, and occasionally- occasionally -Red Alert. Jazz, Smokescreen, and Bluestreak were family so the protocols allowed them near without much fuss, but it was still a struggle to get the first-time carrier to hand over his precious sparkling.“C’mon Prowler. Smokey and Blue have been dying to see him. I won’t let Blaster or Ironhide try to do that human airplane thing with him again, I swear.” Jazz allowed his visor to snap out of the way so he could do his best puppy-dog eyes. Prowl glared at him before rolling his optics with a sigh. Skiplight was set on the floor. He made a wobbly dash straight into his sire’s legs. Jazz hefted him up and tickled his belly-much to Skiplight’s delight. He shrieked happily and kicked his little legs in glee.Prowl watched them with a critical optic for a good few kliks before his protocols deemed it safe for Skiplight. He turned his attention to his work, now uninterrupted, and began to read through the scouting mission report that Skiplight had been mouthing. Jazz and the still squealing sparkling left him to work in relative peace.Until Prowl suddenly sat up straight as his protocols roared to life. Skiplight was projecting glee through their bond, but Jazz’s was more mischievous. Prowl shoved his chair back and raced out of his office to trace down his wayward mate and sparkling. He barraged into the rec room in a carrier-fueled fury. “Jazz, I said no more airplanes!” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Skiplight?”There was a series of happy clicks then a giggle. Jazz made to move towards his sparkling’s hiding place, but stopped at the feel of amused-annoyed from Prowl’s side of the bond.Jazz grumbled to himself and sent back a twinge of frustration-panic. Okay, maybe not panic-panic. But sort of panic? Whatever, doesn't matter. Prowl’s laughing at him for losing their sparkling. :: Babe .:::: Lost him again? :::: No! He’s in the room with me .:::: Have you checked the shelves? He’s been a little terror climbing the ones in my office lately. :::: You think I haven’t? C’mon- :: There was a thud then a sniffle coming from just behind the rec room’s couch. Oh Primus.:: Jazz! :: Prowl sounded like he was about to go on a rant, so Jazz let his side of the bond close slightly. Just enough to avoid getting distracted from the quiet sobs of their sparkling.Skiplight was curled up in a ball, big optics collecting fluid. When Jazz rounded the corner and stooped to pick him up, the poor sparkling let out a hiccup. “Oh, poor baby. Did you take a fall?” There was a nod in response. “It sounded like it hurt.”Skiplight flicked his tiny doorwings. They looked fine, but from what Prowl has said, a fall on the sensitive panels can make one go crazy with pain. :: I think he landed on his doorwings. :::: Do you want me to come? :: There was the slight edge to his mate’s voice. Carrier-coding ready to launch into action and wrap the bitlet up somewhere safe. The last time Prowl had been around when Skiplight had gotten hurt - it had been just a little trip - he had nearly taken someone’s head off. You don’t mess with a Praxian carrier or their sparkling. Jazz had been a little curious at why the coding didn’t latch on to him when they bonded, but maybe it was because of their frame differences? Right, right, try to stop the carrier from storming into the rec room and turning it into a warzone.:: Nah. I can handle ‘im. :::: You sure? :::: Prowler, seriously .:::: I...I know you can. But- :::: No buts! Go finish yer paperwork or whatever .::Skiplight had his head cocked, staring up at Jazz curiously. He could feel his carrier’s emotions through their own bond and all of them were directed at his sire. He chirped at the larger mech to gain his attention. Jazz smiled at Skiplight and let his visor retract with a soft snick . The sparkling let out an excited bubbly noise, tiny hands reaching up to search for the visor. Jazz chuckled.“Feelin’ better, little spark?” A happy chirrup replied. “Ya mind tellin’ your carrier that? I can still feel him worrin’.” This time Skiplight was busy squishing Jazz’s face to pay any attention to his sire’s request.:: Prowl- :::: He’s fine. Whatever you are doing is making him incredibly happy. :: :: He’s playing with my face. ::The only answer was the equivalent of a snort of amusement. Jazz let the sparkling be, however. If he was happy and Prowl was no longer about to go all ‘mama bear’ or whatever, then Jazz figured he could suffer through it.“Yer a little rascal, Skiplight, ya know that?” Jazz tilted his face to nuzzle the top of Skiplight’s helm. The sparkling suddenly looked serious and firmly tugged his face down further. Much to the black and white mech’s surprise, Skiplight bopped his nose against Jazz’s in an impression of the same playful action that Prowl would occasionally do. “Okay, fine. Yer an adorable little rascal.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Don’t ya think that’s enough?”He picked up the soft blue blanket and let it slid through his fingers. It looked like it would be warm enough. He carefully tucked it into the ever growing pile.“Babe. C’mon - is he really gonna need all’a this?”Oh, this blanket was red. That would be nice. Blue and red, sire and carrier. It was placed next to the blue blanket. With careful fingers, he brushed some of the smaller toys brought in by their human companions out of the way. Too small, too fragile, that would most likely getting eaten and choked on.“Yer scarin’ me a bit here.”He chuckled at the small wrench he found. A gift from a certain medic perhaps. As long as it didn’t come with the marksman’s aim.“Smokey! I have no idea what’s gotten into ‘im. Please - oh. Thank Primus . Just hurry, okay?”He barely heard the swoosh of the door opening behind him. What was that? It looked dangerous. His engine gave an angry rumble at the thought. Nope, that needed to go. Into subspace it went. He’ll make sure it got back to Wheeljack with some stern words.“Hey, Jazz. What’s going on? Oh. Oh .” There was laughter.“Don’t laugh about this, Smokey! I don’t know what ta do!” The laughter didn’t stop.That was getting a little annoying.“Relax! He’s just making sure that everything is safe. It’s normal - I promise.”“Are ya sure?”He turned to look at the two talkers. With on optic ridge raised, he simply asked, “Will you stop worrying and help me? I have found three things from Wheeljack already and I do not trust them.”“Oh thank Primus, babe. I thought ya’d gone of the deep end on me.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Bluestreak watched as Smokescreen wiggled his fingers in front of the giggly sparkling. Okay, yeah sure, he was adorable. Bluestreak would readily admit that aloud. Skiplight was probably the cutest sparkling that he’s ever seen - okay, he was the only sparkling he’s ever seen, but that’s not the point here. The point is that the little menace was taking up so much of their family’s time. Prowl was a mess compared to his pre-carrying self, Jazz seemed to have Skiplight on his hip whenever he came to visit, and now Smokescreen was the favorite babysitter. Bluestreak hadn’t asked nor been asked to watch over Skiplight, so he assumed that Prowl knew of his conflicting emotions on the sparkling.The rec room had gone quiet while Bluestreak had been absorbed watching his brother and nephew. Someone else at the table nudged him with their elbow. Blue went to shoot them a glare, but froze when he saw a very ruffled looking Smokescreen and a just as ruffled Jazz standing together facing Prowl. The SIC’s doorwings were minutely trembling. Mad or panicked, one of the two. Blue bounced out of his seat to go see what the matter was. The mech who had elbowed him earlier hissed something along the lines of what the frag are you thinking?“Blue, you didn’t happen to see Skip toddle off did you?” Smokescreen had a manic pleading glisten to his optics.“Sorry, I don’t think so. I wasn’t really paying-” At a panicked glare from Jazz, Bluestreak shut his mouth. Right, worried carrier right in front of him. Say one thing wrong and bam! He’d be in the medbay - family or not.“Maybe he crawled out into the hallway?” Jazz weakly suggested.Prowl glared at his mate. “I highly doubt that or I would have seen him on my way.” The glare was turned to Smokescreen. “You said you only looked away for a klik?”“I promise,” Smokescreen even raised one hand in the air, “the kiddo was with me then just gone the next.”Prowl opened his mouth to growl something, but stiffened instead. He grabbed Jazz’s wrist, spun around, and fled the room. Everyone just watched with wide optics.“What the frag was that?”Blue and Smokescreen darted after them. It wasn’t that hard to follow them, considering Jazz was trying to get his panicked mate to explain what was wrong. The two brothers skidded around a corner and found themselves nearly running into the bonded pair. There was the answer. Ravage, a frequent but unwelcomed visitor, had the sparkling at her paws. She wasn’t doing anything, just watching him.Skiplight was chirping to her as he ran his hands over her forelegs and then reached up to pat her head. The cybercat obliged him by lowering herself into his reach. That won a happy squeak and a hard pat on her snout. Ravage looked up to see the four Autobots staring at them. She flicked her tail and nudged Skiplight towards his creators. The sparkling pouted and tried to cling to her legs, but she stood up and sent the little mech reeling. Prowl lunged forward in time to scoop him up before the sparkling tumbled over. The glare Ravage received could have melted through her.“We just wanted to see how the sparkling is doing.” Ravage stretched before retreating further away from the fuming carrier. “No harm to him. Carrier merely was curious.”“You can tell Soundwave to frag off.”Ravage cocked her head. “I will inform him in a more polite manner. Also on the protectiveness of the sparkling’s carrier.”Jazz huffed from behind Prowl. “Soundwave is just as protective of you all.”“That...is true. Interesting.”“Smokey, mind leading our guest on out?” Jazz ensured that Ravage wasn’t about to make a break for it under the Praxian’s watch. Prowl stood close to him, Skiplight babbling curiously in his arms.Bluestreak came up to pat the sparkling on the head. He chittered happily before tucking himself up against Prowl’s plating. Prowl smiled at the gibberish, but it was a weary thing. Blue gave a sympathetic chuckle. “Nap time?”“For more than one of us.” Prowl’s wings drew back to settle out of their defensive position. Jazz lead his mate off along the hallway with one hand on his back. Bluestreak frowned as he watched them, but it didn’t last long.Was that a smile? Did Skiplight just smile at him? Clever sparkling, trying to break down his walls with that ridiculously adorable look. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- It was spark-wrenching watching him huddle over the tiny fragile frame. The ever composed mech had screamed - screamed - before gathering the body into his arms with choking sobs. Jazz had immediately flew to his side, hands up over his mouth and visor retracted in shock. He fell to his knees to draw the other into a trembling embrace.“Prowl-”“He can’t, no, please Primus. He can’t die .”“Ratchet is comin’. He’ll make it."The medic didn’t come fast enough. There was no way to save the sparkling, not after taking a stray plasma blast in the chest. His underdeveloped plating was little defence against it. In their grief, the two creators barely noticed being helped to the medbay. Prowl refused to release his grip on his sparkling, snarling at anyone who tried with tears still dripping from his optics. He cradled the grayed body tenderly, as if it would fall apart. He nuzzled the small chevron that used to match the color of wild lavender.“My Sparklight - my very being.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Jazz nudged Prowl awake. The Praxian wearily onlined his optics and was greeted by the sight of his mate’s eyes. No visor. His thoughts were still muddled so the significance didn’t reach him. Then came a faint whimper from across the room. Prowl froze before rolling over to jump off the berth. Jazz let out a sleepy chuckle before falling back into recharge.Prowl quietly approached the small berth set across from their own and scooped its sole occupant into his arms. “Skiplight, what is wrong?”The little sparkling hiccuped and buried his face against his carrier’s plating. The steady thrum of his spark made the little mech feel safe and he began to relax. Prowl hummed softly and slowly walked around the room until Skiplight’s whimpers and hiccups had been replaced with sleepy chirps and clicks. It didn’t take long after that for the sparkling to nod off. His little doorwings twitched while his systems smoothed out into barely a whisper. Prowl smiled and nuzzled his creation’s helm. He began to make his way through the dark to put Skiplight back in his berth, but a recharge-muffled grumble from Jazz got his attention. Prowl switched Skiplight so he was carefully cradled in one arm. He tapped Jazz on the shoulder but there was no response. Still out of it then.Prowl glanced at his berth then at Skiplight’s with a sigh. He arranged the pillows and small blanket so that Skiplight would be comfortable then set the sparkling down. Skiplight immediately curled up next to a pillow, systems making a happy purring noise. His carrier tucked the blanket around him.The Praxian’s optics were barely lit by the time he was certain Skiplight was fine and had managed to stumble back to berth. He threw himself onto the comfortable surface, waking Jazz as he did. Jazz’s visor was still tucked away and the hazy look to his nearly white optics made Prowl smile. “It is your turn next.”Jazz grumbled something then pulled Prowl close so they could both get back to recharge. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Why had they thought it was a good idea to let Hound watch Skiplight? He had agreed to leave the two most easily distracted and curious members aboard the Ark to their own devices for a whole shift due to a video conference with a human politician. He couldn’t even blame this one on Jazz.Prowl had been forced to narrow his bond with Skiplight during the duration of the conference, but the moment it was fully open, he could feel the mischief vibrating through the sparkling. It was intense enough to leak through to Jazz - who smiled, the fragger. Prowl had grumbled about mates who would let their creations do anything before hurrying off to see what damage had been done. At least Jazz had decided it would be in his best efforts to follow his bonded.Now, it wasn’t that he was expecting anything horrible to have happened. Prowl was more worried about having an extended wash time for Skiplight. Trying to clean him up was always a messy and lengthy affair, so one could understand why Prowl would be dreading finding a sparkling coated helm to pede with mud.Mirage seemed to have sensed they were coming and opened the hab suit door before either of them had actually made it there. He greeted them with a nod and cracked a slight smile. “I promise I kept them in check.”Skiplight - mud free, thank Primus - was perched in Hound’s lap, optics wide as he watched something in the tracker’s cupped hands. When his creators came in, his attention was only briefly diverted towards them. Jazz chuckled. Hound looked up at the noise and beamed.“He’s a real sweetheart,” he shifted so that Skiplight could see better, “I took him outside to walk around and he kept pointing at everything with the biggest optics I’ve ever seen.”“Ya like goin’ outside, kiddo?” Jazz laughed again when the sparkling nodded enthusiastically.Skiplight reached out to grab whatever had held his interest in Hound’s hands. He squirmed until he was set on the floor then immediately made a beeline to Prowl. The Praxian picked him up and settled the sparkling on his hip. “What do you have?”“Found!” Skiplight beamed at his carrier, opening his hands to reveal a lizard. The poor little creature was just big enough to be unable to wiggle out of the sparkling’s hands, but small enough it was a mystery how Hound had managed to hold it. The lizard flicked its tongue out, making Skiplight giggle.“Very nice, spark.”The pleading optics Prowl was suddenly pinned by made the rest of the room laugh.“Keep?”“No,” Prowl sighed, “the lizard should go back outside.” The sparkling huffed and pouted. The wonderfully useless bondmate of Prowl’s burst into a fit of coughing that did a horrible job of covering his snickers.“Find and keep!”“Finders-keepers doesn’t apply to living beings, Skiplight.”“Keep!”“No.”“Carrier, please!”“No, Skiplight.”Then the pouting Skiplight turned to Jazz with his optics wide and innocent. “Sire, keep?”Prowl shot him a glare. ::Don’t you dare.::Jazz managed to school his features into something less amused, but only for klik. The gleeful grin had already appeared once more as he shook his head. “Sorry, baby, your carrier said no.” Skiplight hiccuped and optic fluid began to drip down his cheeks. All amusement was wiped from Jazz’s face and field as his sparkling began to rather convincingly sob. “Skip-”The cries only got louder.Prowl sighed. “Skiplight, if you were taken from the Ark, you would want to go back, yes?” A teary nod. “The lizard wants to go back home, too.”It was like a switch had been flipped. Skiplight hushed and peered down at the lizard curled in his hands. “Oh. Home?”“Yes. He lives outside, so his home is outside. Wouldn’t you like to take him back?”The sparkling nodded, last of his tears slipping off his cheeks. Prowl smiled and nuzzled the top of Skiplight’s helm. “Good job. Let’s take him back outside then.” Prowl then turned the slight smile on Hound. “Thank you for watching Skiplight.”“It, uh, it was no problem,” Hound exclaimed with a brilliant smile. "He really was a blast to have for a bit.” Mirage fondly rolled his optics.“Home!” Skiplight reminded them. Everyone gave the sparkling a smile.“Very well. We will let him go while your sire gets your energon ready.” Prowl shot an amused look at Jazz when he spluttered. With that, Prowl hefted Skiplight back up and gave a grateful nod to Mirage then left. Jazz grumbled as he followed them out. Before the hab door could shut, Mirage and Hound heard Prowl add, “Maybe he could even give you a bath today.”Jazz’s groan nearly sent both of them into fits of laughter. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Skiplight bounced on the tips of his pedes as he waited for Carrier to finally finish whatever work he was doing. Even though Carrier wasn't looking at him, Skiplight could feel a the amusement from the larger mech at his excitement. He couldn't help it! He wanted to see the humans' fireworks!Wheeljack's weren't really meant for younger audiences - if they worked as predicted, of course. Then again, Skiplight had heard Sire call them 'fireworks nonetheless'. Maybe the humans had some magic that made their fireworks different? Or maybe they were special because of the time? Skiplight wasn't really sure and didn't truly care at this point. Big, noisy explosions were explosions and he wanted to see some pretty ones!Spike had promised that the fireworks were pretty, but Skiplight figured he could step on the human if he was lying. A displeased pulse from Carrier made the youngling pause in his fidgeting and give the older mech a sheepish smile. When Carrier seemed appeased, Skiplight returned to bouncing up and down.By the time Carrier was finished and had ushered the youngling out, the poor thing could barely contain his excitement. Not even the amusement from his Carrier could dampen it.Sire joined them just before leaving the Ark. He had jogged up, pecked Carrier on the lips, and picked up the youngling to nuzzle the little purple chevron. Skiplight loudly protested the treatment even as Sire carried him out of the crashed ship and secured him in Carrier's alt-mode. He was quickly distracted by trying to convince Carrier that his lights and sirens were absolutely necessary for the drive.Skiplight pouted the entire trip when Carrier firmly refused.Any foul mood evaporated, however, when story arrived at a small park just outside the human city. Sire transformed and released the excited and curious hell spawn. Skiplight practically flew around the park, inspecting this and that, asking if this or that was a firework. Sire laughed while Carrier gently corrected him. By the third time he asked if there was a firework hidden in a tree, Skiplight was beginning to get disappointed. Where were the fireworks? The rest of the off-duty Autobots and their human friends had since joined them, but no one was telling him anything!With a pout most certainly worthy of his Sire, Skiplight made himself comfortable in Carrier's lap to wait until he could go back home.A resounding crack followed by a flash of glittering gold and red in the sky startled him. At first, Skiplight's immediate response was to cry out and get away from such a loud noise, but when no one else seemed to be worried - they all seemed excited by the noise and color - Skiplight glared at the sky to find what had made the sky light up and make noise. This time there was a boom that shook his struts and an accompanying red, white, and blue lights exploding across the sky.Skiplight sat transfixed by the view until the finale. The show was wrapped up by multiple explosions all of the same red, white, and blue and shattering noise. The last one lit up the night and faded away with a sprinkle of gold that warped into strange shapes by the wind.He was jostled slightly, but ignored the movement to try and search out more of the colorful flashes. His focus did earn a small hum from Sire and a quick bond exchange between his creators that went too fast for him to follow - should he have been so inclined."You enjoyed the fireworks?" The gentle, soft voice of Carrier broke into his concentration. Skiplight twisted around to face the other to beam and nod his head."Good!" Sire leaned over to bop the youngling's nose. "The humans here do this every year to celebrate a holiday."Skiplight perked up, "Again?"Sire's laughter rumbled with his engine. "Sorry, sweetspark, not 'til next year.""'Jack?"Skiplight gave himself a moment to bask in the panic and 'no no no bad idea' from Carrier. It wouldn't be a problem to go to the inventor with his best pleading optics and beg for some fireworks. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “No!” Jazz pleadingly looked at his bitlet standing in the door of their washracks with his little arms folded over his chest and a promising pout on his face. He could hear Prowl snickering from the other room, but his bondmate appeared content to remain on the berth reading instead of helping get Skiplight into his bath. “Please, Skip?” Jazz crouched down and made a face when Skiplight’s wings hiked up and his tiny face turned away. “What if I let Cosmos give ya an extra treat next time?” The promise of a treat seemed to reach the stubborn sparkling and he perked up. “Treat?” “Yeah, one of those pink ones.” Jazz gave Skiplight his best smile. The sparkling seemed to consider it for a moment before nodding and holding his arms up so his sire could pick him up. With a victorious chuckle, Jazz swept the sparkling off his pedes and plopped him into a small basin. “Ya promise not to kick the solvent everywhere this time?” “Kick bad,” Skiplight declared solemnly as he allowed Jazz to start scrubbing at his plating with no fuss. “That’s the spirit, love.” Jazz was sure to be quick, but thorough. His little hellion could behave fine until the bath started running lukewarm. Once Skiplight wanted to get out, he was sure to put his all behind the desperate scrapple out of the wash basin. Water and solvent would get everywhere and then there would be even more to clean up - a tired creator’s nightmare. The less mess, the less everyone would be grumbling and the faster they could all get to recharge. The bitlet yawned as he was picked up, sat on a towel, and carefully dried. His dimming optics brightened momentarily when Prowl, still chuckling, came in. “Ready for bed, little one?” “Bed,” Skiplight agreed with sleepy happiness. Prowl smiled and hefted the bitlet onto his hip. With a wink at Jazz, the Praxian disappeared into the other room to put the sparkling to recharge. Jazz grumbled as he was left to clean up. Skiplight was already out by the time Prowl had gently arranged him in his little berth and Jazz had emerged from the washracks. They fell into their berth and were sent into twin giggling fits when Prowl bounced a little from Jazz’s dramatic flop onto the soft coverings. Jazz leaned over to press a kiss to Prowl’s chrevon and pull the Praxian closer. “Mhm, night.” Prowl’s engine purred in response. As they grew comfortable, recharge creeping up, a small voice suddenly echoed out, “Carrier? Sire bath.” Skiplight was holding onto his crib bars, watching his creators with big optics. He was clearly surprised that Jazz hadn’t gotten clean before going to recharge as well. Prowl was immediately sent into another fit a exhausted laughter when Jazz rolled his optics. “Sire bath then recharge.” “You heard him,” Prowl nudged Jazz out of the berth, “you need a bath as well.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Sparklings are great! Nothing can compare to their adorable faces, tiny chirps, or constant demand for attention! He wanted one for himself!Was...was that convincing? Red Alert knew from the expression on Inferno’s faceplates, that it was, in fact, not even close. With an annoyed grumble of his engine, the security director handed the little bundle of joy to the other mech. “I’ll be watching the cameras,” Red Alert said sullenly.Inferno watched his mate leave their room with amused optics. “You were being a right little hellspawn, weren’t you?”Skiplight giggled and reached for Inferno’s fingers. Blaster watched Ramhorn attempt to teach the bitlet how to correctly stack up the blocks. Red side faced north, blue south, green towards the west, and yellow towards the east. Skiplight was much more amused with knocking down the carefully arranged piles. If it weren’t for his siblings’ laughter at his failure and the bitlet’s mess, Ramhorn would have probably huffed off. Rewind sat next to Skiplight and helped the sparkling set up the blocks while Ramhorn glared at the floor. Eject let out a squeal when one block was kicked by their sibling and nearly collided with their helm.“Careful!”Rewind turned a pout towards Skiplight, “You’re lucky that you’re the only creation.”“I heard that!”Ramhorn and Steeljaw both look equally offended. Steeljaw pounced on Rewind and nearly landed atop Skiplight. The sparkling shifted one doorwing out of the way just as the little mechalion flatted his brother.Everyone held their breath. If Skiplight so much as sniffled, there’d be a pissed Praxian at their door or a more amused than angry Jazz if the universe was kind. Instead of the dreaded tears, Skiplight only laughed at the cassettes’ antics.Blaster let out a vent of relief. “Don’t touch that, Skip.”The sparkling looked over at his guardian for the shift with wide, innocent optics. “No touch?”“No.”“Please?”“No.”“Give treat?”“Nice try, sparkling. Bribery might work on Jack, but not me.”Skiplight gave a tiny huff and stomped his pede. “Touch!”Ratchet couldn’t help but roll his optics at the sparkling’s oh-so familiar stubbornness. With a defeated sigh, Ratchet hefted the bitlet onto one of the berths and gave him an old scanner. It had a few more buttons and flashing lights than the new models, but that only made it all the more appealing for a youngling. Before the medic could turn away, Skiplight tapped his arm and pointed towards the bag that had a few of his favorite toys and snacks that Prowl had left. Ratchet obediently brought it over for the sparkling to dig around in. With serious concentration, Skiplight looked through the bag’s contents until his optics lit up. He held up a half-empty box of rust sticks and carefully picked one out. He held it out to Ratchet.With a chuckle, the medic accepted the treat. “Thanks, bitlet.”Skiplight solemly nodded - it was his favorite treat after all, it was a true honor to be given one - and turned his attention back to the scanner. Prowl had been hesitant to hand Skiplight over to Mirage for the meeting, but it was either the spy or Cliffjumper and every part of his coding had been very clear that Skiplight was not to be left with the loud, hostile minibot. Although he had lowered his voice and kept expletives out whenever the sparkling was nearby...No! Even Jazz had been a little hesitant about Cliff having Skiplight while they were out.That didn’t make it any easier for Prowl to carefully settle Skiplight on the floor in Mirage’s room. Usually Hound was there. Primus, was Prowl nervous. Mirage may have been willing to watch the sparkling with his mate, but he had never said anything about when Hound was not present.He bid Mirage farewell and a hasty thank-you before leaving to join Jazz in the hallway. “He’ll be fine, love.” Prowl wasn’t sure whether he meant Skiplight or Mirage.The meeting took less than an orn and Jazz had to keep his bonded from dashing into the Ark. He kept Prowl walking slowly beside him - had to wean the overprotective Carrier coding somehow - and chatted about whatever ridiculous human things he had noticed. Prowl would respond with short, clipped words.The trek to Mirage’s room took too long. Prowl hadn’t felt any discomfort from the bond, but he was still nervous to knock. Jazz did and Mirage immediately opened the door. White powder covered the usually immaculate mech and both black and whites froze at the sight. Jazz began to cackle, bending over to hold his stomach. Mirage frowned and huffed.“It’s all your sparkling’s fault.”“Sure, Raj, sure.” Jazz beamed at the spy in amusement.Mirage let them in and sure enough, the rest of the room was sprinkled in the white powder. Skiplight sat in the middle of the couch, excitedly bouncing up and down, arms out for one of his creators to pick him up. Prowl did so, and was relieved that the bitlet was clean.“What is this?” Mirage suddenly found something interesting in the corner of the room. Jazz began to laugh harder. The spy muttered something and Prowl leaned in, frowning. “What was that?”“Flour."“Where’d ya get flour?” Jazz huffed between bouts of laughter. “Please don’t say one a’ the kids.”“Carly was kind enough to suggest attempting to bake something as she always does that with the human children she watches.”Prowl fought the smile trying to surface. “So you used human components?”“Sparklings make messes, I had assumed that this would be easier to clean.” Skiplight was holding one card upside down and the rest had found their way into his mouth. Normally, Smokescreen would dream of having game night in his hab suite if he had the bitlet, but it had been a stressful few orns and he’d be slagged if he postponed it again. The sparkling wasn’t old enough to understand what was going on, but Smokescreen had felt guilty keeping the bitlet just on his lap while he destroyed the others, so he had fished out some old cards for Skiplight.It was now his turn so Smokescreen gave the little mech a nudge. Wide optics suddenly met the rest of the table and he beamed. A soggy card was slapped onto the table.“You’re lucky he isn’t playing for real,” Smokescreen laughed.Trailbreaker huffed from across the table. “You’d be losing too, Smokes.”“Nah, he’s my nephew and Prowl’s bitlet. I’d have to responsibly keep his earnings.”“Sneaky,” Bumblebee sighed.The table forked over a few rust sticks each - provided by Smokescreen, of course - and Skiplight happily took the handful. The cards were quickly replaced by all five treats. Smokescreen sent a glare to the rest of the table. “If anyone tells Prowl how much treats Skip had tonight, you’re dead.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Skiplight watched his creators with a curious glint to his optics. Both of his creators knew that look - Prowl had seen it too many times on Jazz’s face before the special ops mech did something stupid and Jazz knew it because everyone complained that the look never boded well for those in the ‘splash zone’. Of course, when did that stop him? Never. Not once. Prowl still grumbles about the last time Jazz thought it was a good idea to rig the Ark with a stereo system that had immediately made Red Alert panic.So when they saw it on their innocent little sparkling? Prowl threw his hands in the air and sat down on the couch with a long-suffering sigh. Jazz beamed at Skip and swept the bitlet into his arms. “And they said he’d turn out like you!” “Hey Prime...what are ya doin’?”“Ah, Ironhide. Wonderful timing. Would you mind assisting me in getting young Skiplight out from the vent?”“Does Prowl or Jazz know?”“They won’t have to if you help me quickly.”When Prowl walked into Prime’s office a shift later, he found Optimus looking rather dusty and a very happy sparkling in his arms. Skiplight stretched and leant back against the wall. His creators were still in their meeting and he promised he’d wait for them, but he was so bored. What’s the point of getting your frame upgrades if you get stuck sitting around and waiting for some boring meeting? The youngling cast a glance down the hallway with a slight smirk.If he was fast enough and didn’t go too far, maybe he could get a quick drive in before his creators came out. His engine rumbled at the thought and without wasting any more time, Skiplight lunged down the hallway and transformed. His go-kart altmode may seem hilarious to the fully grown Autobots, but it was all Skip needed to find himself in trouble.Oh, Carrier is going to be so mad. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Skiplight had turned the rec room into a war zone. With the aid of Sunstreaker and Sideswipe, the youngling had upturned all the furniture and rearranged it into the perfect ambush site. Half of the couches had been shoved onto their sides and lined up to seperate the room in two. A few chairs had been thrown around the entrance to hinder any advancements while all of the entertainment systems had been claimed by the three and stockpiled on their “side”.When the twins had first wandered into the rec room, they had found Skiplight struggling to move a table. Sideswipe had given him a hand and the next thing they realized, the kid had recruited them into his army.“Alright, this good?” Sideswipe jumped the defensive line of couches to crouch by Skiplight.The youngling beamed at him. “It’s perfect! They won’t know what hit ‘em.”“Right.” Sunstreaker had found a chair and dragged it off to the side earlier to watch his brother and Skiplight run rampant. “And who exactly is ‘them’?”“The minibots,” Skiplight said.“This was a terrible idea.” Sunstreaker said just as Sideswipe punched the air and shouted, “Nice!”“They always get fuel after their last day shift and then come here.” Skiplight turned to watch the door. His optics had a devious gleam. Sometimes it was hard to see how such a sweet sparkling came from the Autobot’s smartest and most dangerous mechs and then there were moments like this. “Usually, Carrier tries to avoid scheduling open periods where you and the minibots are together so you don’t fight.”“But,” Sideswipe added as he leaned in.“But Carrier has a meeting with some of the humans today. He can’t get after us.”“What about Jazz?”Skiplight flicked his doorwings in the equivalent of a shrug. “Sire finds your fighting funny. He won’t care as long as it doesn’t get out of hand.”Sunstreaker and Sideswipe exchanged looks. “Then punching them is out.”“Duh!” The youngling glared at them. He sighed at the twins’ questioning faces. “Instead of just hitting them, Spike suggested we throw water balloons at them.” Skiplight took a moment to dig through his subspace before producing an armful of medium-sized energon cubes. Each one was about half full of water. Poor kid sagged a little under the weight before dumping them in Sunstreaker’s lap, ignoring the yellow mech’s protest.Sideswipe took one from the pile and examined it. “These things don’t break very easily.”“Wheeljack helped--” Skiplight started before getting interrupted by Sunstreaker cursing and jumping up from his seat. The cubes fell to the ground and promptly shattered, spilling water across the floor. Skiplight gestured towards the growing puddle. “They aren’t very strong.”“How many do you have?” Sideswipe demanded. His field buzzed with excitement.“Enough to make them regret coming here.” Skiplight’s wolfish smile was eerily similar to Jazz’s.“Awesome.”They sorted the cubes into three easy to reach piles. While waiting for their prey, Sideswipe set up a game and started to teach Skiplight how to play. Sunstreaker found something to wipe up the spilled water before joining them. He pointed out each of Sideswipe’s tells. It wasn’t long before the twins were bickering. Skiplight took advantage of the distraction to land a few hits on Sideswipe’s character.“Stop cheating Skip!” Sideswipe cried when he noticed and the youngling laughed.Three rounds and one tie later, they finally heard voices coming towards them. Sideswipe turned the game off and crouched behind their defenses. Sunstreaker grinned at him, already armed with a cube. Skiplight settled himself between the two. His field was impatient-excited and all too eager. “You sure this is them?” Sunstreaker whispered.“As hilarious as it’d be for someone else to walk through, I’m hoping it’s them.”“It will be, now shush!” Skiplight gestured for them to duck down.The first mech through the door was Bumblebee. Skiplight was practically vibrating in excitement, but he shook his head when the twins started to sit up. Not yet, he mouthed. Then Cliffjumper walked in and froze right beside Bee at the sight of the room.“Now!”Skiplight jumped up and threw a cube at Cliffjumper. It shattered against his chest plate and sprayed water everywhere. Chaos broke out. Bumblebee dove for cover just as Sideswipe launched a cube at him while Skiplight and Sunstreaker both nailed Cliffjumper in the face. The red minibot cursed and swiped at his face, stumbling back against the rest of the minibots.“What the frag--” Gears’ sentence was cut off with an oof when a cube collided with his chest. Cosmos ducked behind Huffer and shouted something. It was lost under the laughter of the twins and Skiplight.Soon enough, the minibots were all huddling behind the limited cover available. Any time someone tried to make a break for the exit, they’d get hit with a cube from each of their attackers. A few of the bots were laughing, mostly just Bumblebee and Brawn cackling when someone got hit in the face.“When are you going to run out - Primus, don’t you dare!” Bee poked his head out from behind an overturned table just in time to see Sideswipe wind back for another throw. “Seriously, how many of those do you have?”Skiplight glanced at their only remaining pile. There were two cubes left. With a frown, Skiplight called back, “We’re out.” He reached down to take one.“Finally.” Windcharger leaned over his chair with a glare. It softened for a moment when it reached Skiplight, but hardened when he meet the gazes of the twins.Bumblebee stood up and helped Beachcomber to his feet. “Nicely done, kiddo.” He turned to give Skiplight a brilliant smile.“Thanks!” The praise had the youngling reconsidering whether to deck the scout with his cube and he set it back down.“What’s goin’ on here?” A familiar voice said from the door. Everyone turned to see Jazz leaning against the doorframe. He took a look at the mess around them. “Alright, who corrupted my sparklin’.”Skiplight scrambled over the couches to launch himself at his sire. He wrapped his arms around Jazz’s waist and smiled up at him. “Hello Sire.”“Hey, kiddo. Whatcha been up to?”The youngling’s smile turned smug. “Having fun. Right, Sideswipe? Sunstreaker?”Jazz started to look over at the twins when Bumblebee yelped, “Wait!” The last two water cubes shattered against Jazz’s arm and chest. Skiplight cackled in glee.
11244066	Just What The Doctor	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Will Graham, Hannibal Lecter, Jack Crawford", "Fandom": "Hannibal (TV)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Explicit", "author": "by ishipthemsogoddamnhard", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-19T00:00:00", "words": "1,851", "Additional Tags": "#JustFuckMeUp Fest, #justfuckmeup2, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Episode: s01e07 Sorbet, Fix-It of Sorts, Medical Kink, Doctor Kink, Hand porn, Hand Jobs, Anal Fingering, Prostate Massage, Light Dom/sub, Dom Hannibal, Sub Will, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter, Will Graham & Hannibal Lecter", "Series": "Fests & Challenges", "Collections": "#JustFuckMeUp2", "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	“What do you see, Doctor?”Hannibal looked up from the photos on the table and considered Will. That soft little tap on the table and the way he had said those words was having a most unusual effect on him tonight. Perhaps he was simply caught off guard by how disappointed he had been when Will never showed up to therapy. The soft-voiced question stirred things that Hannibal couldn’t ignore. “I can’t help but notice how often you feel the need to address me as ‘doctor’. Tell me, Will, why do you think that is?”“I...didn’t know I was doing that, but you are my doctor in a way, aren’t you?” Will explained, rubbing uncomfortably at his neck. His face shifted slightly in confusion as he looked up at him,before averting his eyes. Hannibal noted the scent of him grew momentarily stronger as he worried the skin over his pulse point. Warm and nervous with a hint of that terrible aftershave. Hannibal only just managed to stop himself from taking a deep inhale of it, drinking him in. He tilted his head.“Yes I suppose I am, but your use of it even in casual situations suggests there must be a reason.” Hannibal said. Will’s wide blue eyes flicked up to his and Hannibal quirked a brow as he stared into them, drawing the young man into more of the eye contact he allegedly recoiled from. Not with him, not now, Hannibal noted with satisfaction. “And what...reason would that be?” Will asked with an awkward little huff of laughter colouring his words. The proximity of his therapist to him was something he hadn’t really noticed, but now with the topic of this tangential conversation, he was all too aware of the way he had come to stand so close to Hannibal. He was still groggy but he could swear he was actually pleased to see him. It felt awkward to move away now. Was he really calling him by his title a lot? Isn’t that just professionalism? He wondered as Hannibal considered him.“Either it could be taken as mockery or I’d say it fascinates you a little. That perhaps it feels good to say it.” Hannibal finally said in a silken tone. “In your case, Will, I’d think either one was a possibility.” He smirked. Will chuckled, a touch bemused.“Well I’m not mocking you, not really my thing.” He said, instinctively being honest with this man who had led to confide in him so often recently. Then he realised which option that left and his cheeks heated. Will turned his attention back to the table full of gory images and began pointlessly shuffling them around. He could feel Hannibal’s eyes remain on his skin as he did so.“I simply meant that you enjoy having someone you trust, someone with the authority to - I daresay - protect you and the ability to help you.” Hannibal said, his voice low and conspiratorial though they were quite alone. “However, I wonder if I may have stumbled upon something else…”Will could feel his heart banging in his chest. Hannibal liked to work him, liked to talk about intimacy, but he never usually went about it this way. Will could practically feel the tiny hairs on his ear responding to the sound from the older man’s voice. He swallowed.“No, I think it must be that.” He said gruffly. “It helps...and it seems I do trust you.” Will stiffened at the hand on his shoulder, the pressing nearer of Hannibal’s chest that he could see in his peripheral vision.“Do you?” Hannibal purred.Something primal in Will was responding to Hannibal in a way he had only really been aware of in his deeply buried dreams. He would never normally let someone into his personal space like this, and yet his body seemed to awaken at his touch. “Yes…” Will whispered, tingling with an anticipation that even was surprised by.“Yes, what?” Hannibal ran his hand down Will’s back.Will ran his tongue over his lip. He felt weak and leant his hands on the table top. Perhaps this was insanity, perhaps he was still dreaming at his desk, but what the hell made sense in his life right now? “Yes, doctor.” He said instinctively but with shaking breath.“Then I can help you with this as well.” Hannibal gently tugged Will’s shirt out from his pants and ran his fingertips underneath over his bare skin. “With the case?” Will asked, attempting to be flip and thinking he just sounded dumb. Hannibal slowly reached over and palmed his hand over the bulge now growing in the front of Will’s pants. Will inhaled sharply in response.“No, Will, with the fact that the mere discussion of my being your doctor has got you hard.” Hannibal murmured in Will’s ear. An amused challenge but it made Will shudder with lust. Maybe he was afraid if he tried to look at Hannibal and really acknowledge this, that he’d either wake up or freak out, but he could only nod. Hannibal deftly undid his buttons and slid his hand in to stroke lazily along Will’s length. “You seem very tense, Mr Graham.” Hannibal said. Given his own...tastes, he was never one to judge anyone else’s, but rather found himself fascinated and inclined to explore them. “What is to be done about that?” Will couldn’t help but immerse himself and shut his eyes. He was feeling weakened at the best of times recently, and that cool, skilled hand on his cock was more than he could resist. “I-I don’t know, doctor...what do you think would help?” “Perhaps you need some kind of release...how often do you masturbate?” Hannibal said, his tone so matter of fact despite the fact he was steadily jerking Will off. Will let out his held breath, as much in surprise as in pleasure.“Uhh...not that often.” “I’m surprised we have never got to this subject before...maybe we should change that, hmm?” Hannibal wondered aloud. “What do you think of when you do?" Will had a fleeting moment of panic, but Hannibal ran his thumb over his leaking slit and he groaned.“Alana…”“Dr. Bloom?”“Mmm...mostly.” Will said breathlessly. “Mostly?” Hannibal didn’t miss a beat. “Do you ever think about being with...anyone else?” He carefully avoided saying ‘men’ so as not to startle Will out of his thoughts. It was only a hunch anyway. Will remembered flashes of a dream, strong bloody hands and straddling someone shrouded in shadows, but pushed it away.“Doesn’t everyone?” He ground out evasively. Hannibal slowed his hand and Will almost whined in frustration.“I want to try something, if you’ll let me?” Hannibal said quickly.“Please…” Will’s fingertips pressed into the desk as Hannibal removed his hand completely to push his pants and boxers down. Will froze, thoughts of possible scenarios rushing through his cloudy mind. Hannibal noticed and petted reassuringly at his curls, before running his hand down to brush across his lips. Will was forced to look at him, and the intensity of it was something he wasn’t used to or prepared for. His lips parted and Hannibal had to readjust his cool facade.“Don’t worry, Will, I’m not going to fuck you...yet.” Hannibal licked his lips. “Suck.” He commanded gently and Will slowly complied, still looking up at Hannibal from under his lashes, transfixed by this dark promise.Hannibal resumed working Will’s cock as the young man obediently sucked the fingers his other hand, and he moaned around the intrusion. Hannibal had to take a steadying breath. When they were nice and wet, Hannibal swiftly slipped them down to slide over Will’s hole. Will’s made an aborted noise and bit his lip, head dropping down between his arms. “I believe it will help you but I can stop, if you want me to.” Hannibal assured him quietly. Will just existed in his body for a moment, focusing on how good it felt as Hannibal rubbed tiny circles over his untouched entrance at the same time as he brought him closer to his orgasm. Well he clearly knew a thing or two about anatomy...maybe it really would be good. He was horny and curious, and totally at Hannibal’s mercy.“Yes, doctor.” Will breathed, and Hannibal slowly pressed a finger inside him, careful to keep rubbing his throbbing cock to keep him aroused. Will was breathing hard as Hannibal probed him in and out, getting him used to it. He grazed over his prostate and Will cried out. He was sensitive and Hannibal knew he could make him crave this. Hannibal shushed Will as he continued to carefully stimulate him inside and out. Will was losing himself to pure pleasure, shocked by how good being fingered felt and his cries growing impatient and desperate. He was driving himself even closer to the edge just by thinking about what those surgeon’s hands were doing to him. Goddamn he really did have a kink. Will opened his eyes and watched the muscles in Hannibal’s forearm flexing as he jerked him, his watch catching the light. This shouldn’t feel so good, but it did and he could feel his orgasm building, cock dripping onto the wood. He absently swiped the pictures to the floor to save them.“You need to let go, Will. You need to come so badly, don’t you?” Hannibal cooed against the shell of his ear, his body heat and scent enveloping Will as he did so. Will whimpered - he was so close - and Hannibal increased his efforts just a little. “Come for me, Will.” Hannibal hissed and he was undone, coming longer and harder than he had in his life. Hannibal felt him shaking, his hole clenching around his finger and the sounds he made were exquisite. He wouldn’t be able to wait long before he felt this on his dick…As Will relaxed, Hannibal took his hands away, elegantly pulling the handkerchief from his pocket to clean up. He waited for Will to right his clothing and find his voice.“Thank you, Dr. Lecter.” Will said, and Hannibal wasn’t quite sure if he was still playing or if he genuinely couldn’t help himself. He smiled and bent to gather up the photos and spread them back out. He was just opening his mouth to reply when Jack strode in.“There you are...and Dr. Lecter, what a surprise.”*Later that night, as Hannibal sat in a stolen ambulance with his (washed and gloved) hands inside the killer’s latest victim, he became aware he was being watched. He glanced up and saw Will’s face in the frame of the open doors. Will knew it was wrong but the sight before him did zero to help his new-found interest. Their eyes met for a moment in silent understanding of what the other was really thinking, before Hannibal drew his gaze back to his task. Will felt the power of what those hands were capable of run over his skin, and realised he was utterly screwed.
11200161	Silent Sufferers	{ "Archive Warning": "Graphic Depictions Of Violence", "Category": "Gen", "Characters": "Jason Todd, Dick Grayson, Barbara Gordon, Tim Drake, Tony Zucco", "Fandom": null, "Language": "English", "Rating": "Mature", "author": "by LananiA3O", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-14T00:00:00", "words": "12,669", "Additional Tags": "Swearing, Drinking, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, torture (very briefly and not very graphic), references to past torture, References to Past Child Abuse, Minor Character Death", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "Dick Grayson & Jason Todd, Barbara Gordon & Jason Todd", "Series": "Batfam Week - Arkham-verse, Batman: Arkham Compendium", "Collections": null, "Fandoms": "Batman: Arkham (Video Games), Batman - All Media Types", "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	It started with a disgustingly misty Sunday morning and a couple thousand drops of water on a freshly filled grave.It had taken the clearing crew and the police almost a week to filter through the grounds of what had once been the manor, but in the end, the conclusion had been unanimous: Bruce Wayne was dead. There had not even been enough left of the place to determine a point of origin for the detonation – the closest guess anyone could make was ‘multiple’ – and even if the body had been reduced to ash and smithereens, Bruce Wayne was very definitely considered dead. Never coming back.Of course, that last detail had never been leaked to the press and so the replacement had bought a fittingly outrageously expensive mahogany monstrosity of a coffin with linings of Egyptian silk and gold filigree on the edges to house Bruce Wayne’s Schroedinger body. On one hand, Jason hated the fucking ostentatious display of wealth, even in the eyes of death, especially a fake death. Bruce was alive. He was sure of it. Alive, licking his wounds, planning his return, and not giving a rat’s ass about what his ‘death’ had done to his family. On the other hand, he could understand the reasoning behind the charade. ‘Coffin’ usually meant ‘final’, even for a closed viewing, and ‘final’ meant ‘less conspiracy theories floating around and making everybody’s life more miserable’.And there had been plenty of ‘miserable’ to go around.They had had a total of four services.The first had been a non-public, all business, memorial service for Bruce Wayne in one of his summer retreat ‘safe-houses’. Anyone who had been anyone in Bruce Wayne’s public life had been invited – important business partners, important business rivals, a few select journalists, Gordon, Cash, and a number of other individuals who had been deeply involved with Wayne Enterprises or Bruce Wayne in a professional sense. Most of them were nothing but blood-thirsty motherfuckers, whose only reason for showing up was to see if there was any way they could carve off some of that delicious billion dollar Wayne pie, now that its overall protector and owner was gone. Dick, Tim and Barb had soldiered on throughout all of it, heads held high despite their grief, always pleasant and polite despite their disgust for some of the people they had had to invite, and just solemn enough to make everyone back the fuck off eventually. Jason had watched the charade from a mile away through the scope of his rifle and a bug he had planted in one of the vases in the room.The second one had been a very, very private affair, a gathering of superheroes, people Batman and Nightwing had been sporadically working with throughout the years, up to and including Superman and Wonder Woman. The only one who had been there in her civilian identity had been Barbara, who was the only one who had the honor of not having to deny that she had known who Bruce Wayne was. She had worked with him, after all, and that fact had become public knowledge soon enough after Halloween. Tim and Dick had reacted appropriately shocked and appalled at this ‘revelation’, maintaining their disguises of the unknowing kids who had just gotten lucky to be adopted by Bruce Wayne without ever finding out about his secret life as Batman. Once inside the house, though, there had been no need for Robin or Nightwing to pretend anything, and while Tim had held back his tears pretty well – Jason imagined having been taken on as Robin very late and then having been stuffed in a cell by the Batman himself had kind of put a damper on his capacity for outright grief – Dick had not been shy to let the tears flow freely, clinging on to everyone who would so much as offer him a hug in support.The third service had been an even smaller gathering, this time, in honor of Alfred. The media might have forgotten about him and the superhero community might never have noticed him, but if Bruce had been the spine of their family, Alfred had been the heart. Of his four siblings, one had passed already. One had refused to come, still bitter about Alfred’s decision to stay in Gotham for the rest of his life and even beyond, as outlined in his will. One had been too sick to travel. The one brother who had made it to Gotham, together with his own child and Alfred’s estranged daughter, had made it very clear that – as much as he mourned the loss of his older brother – too many bridges had been burned in their family. He had not stayed for long, and while constantly courteous and polite in a way that was so very much like Alfred that Jason was sure he had learnt it straight from his brother, he had also been much more distant, much colder than Alfred would ever even have had the capacity to be. The result had been a memorial service that had been awkward for everyone and that had ended after only one hour. For the first time in years, Jason had found himself agreeing with any of the others: the brevity of this affair had been both a blessing to them and an insult to Alfred’s memory.And now they were here: service number four, the actual, fucking burial. Gotham’s constantly cloudy sky was being fittingly pissy about the entire affair, hammering down torrential rain upon them, as they carried the two coffins to their assigned lots and lowered them into the ground. Holes were filled, prayers were said, hands were shaken, shoulders hugged, and soon enough it was only Dick, Tim, and Barb in front of the two fresh graves with their marble headstones and the golden lettering. The date 2017-11-01 stared at him mockingly through the scope of his sniper rife.Congratulations! You actually did it, the Arkham Knight sneered in the back of his mind.Excellent work, Todders, Joker added. I knew I could rely on you!“Shut up!” Jason bit his lip underneath the helmet, hard enough to draw blood and the familiar taste made him feel a little better. He deserved the pain. Dick, Tim, and Barb did not. He knew that now, having seen the evidence of Bruce’s desperate search for his lost son on the Batcomputer. Joker was a liar. The Arkham Knight was a liar. He was done listening to either of them. Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, just shut the FUCK up, both of you!“We’ll find whoever did this.” Barb’s voice was industrial strength steel, wrapped in a silky cocoon of bitterness and grief. “I will find whoever did this and when I get my hands on them, I’ll make them rue the day they were born!”“Amen.” Tim set down the two wreaths they had brought – white roses, lilies, and gladioli – and muttered a quick prayer that even the audio receivers in Jason’s helmet could not pick up from the distance. What they did pick up, was his question to Barbara. “And you’re one-hundred percent sure that this was not the Arkham Knight’s doing?”“Two-hundred percent,” Barb answered immediately.“I honestly don’t care right now.” It had been Dick’s voice, but the sound was nothing like Jason had ever heard. Hollow. Devoid of any cheer and energy. “Can we please not start this over Bruce’s grave? Over Alfred’s grave?”The replacement nodded solemnly. “Good idea. We should get back to the car. Head back home for now.”“Go ahead,” the tiny smile Dick gave him was a miserable excuse of a display of re-assurance. “You just got out of the hospital. You should be resting. Go back to the car, both of you. I’ll join you in a minute.”He watched Barbara and the replacement look at each other in a mixture of concern and consideration, before turning to Dick once more. “Fine,” Barbara said. “But if you’re not in the car with us within the hour, I’m coming back to get you.”Dick looked after them as they left. The smile stayed just until they were out of his line of sight and vanished in the instance. Jason quickly grappled to the other end of the church to get a better angle at what was happening.It was a choice he regretted almost instantly.The rain was still hammering down relentlessly, trenching both of them, and plastering Dick’s finely tailored suit and expertly groomed hair to his skin tighter than the latex he wore at night. His eyes were focused on the clouds above, wet from more than rain, but burning like a thousand suns.“Why?” Jason couldn’t recall ever having heard Dick sound so crushed. Somehow, it made his gut feel about five degrees colder than the rest of his body. “Why them? You already took my mother and father. You already took Jason!” Suddenly, Dick was pacing, small, frantic steps up and down the row of Wayne family graves while his hands ran over his face and through his hair, trying in vain to tame the unruly, wet strands. He was, quite literally, raging at the heavens.“Dear God... why? What have I ever done to you?! What did Bruce—what did Alfred ever do to you?! It’s not fair! Just why?! Why, you fucking son of a bitch?!!!”His only answer was the harsh prattling of the rain as it pearled off the ornate headstones. Dick looked at Bruce’s epitaph as if he wanted to simultaneously hug the stone it was engraved on and take a sledgehammer to it.“God... I’m so sorry, Bruce.” He sank to his knees with one hand clasped in front of his mouth. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for all the fights we had. I’m sorry for avoiding you ever since I moved. I’m sorry I didn’t even properly say goodbye to you. I—You were my father, Bruce. My second father and you failed at it pretty damn hard sometimes, but... you were still my dad... I’m sorry...”Slowly, his gaze fell onto the second, smaller headstone next Bruce’s grave. “Alfred... God, I miss you, Alfred. I know I was quite the nuisance sometimes... while you were the best grandfather anyone could have wished for. I was so damn lucky and I never even acknowledged it. I’m so sorry...”Whatever else Dick had been planning to say was lost in between the sound of the water falling from the sky and the sounds of the water falling from his eyes, as choked sobs wrecked his body, bending him over until he was almost curled into a ball, and rendered his speech unintelligible. By the time the tremors finally stopped and Dick slowly stood up to brush the grass stains off his trousers and the excess water off his face, his eyes were red and raw.Jason cursed as he disassembled his sniper rifle and reached for the grapple gun once more. This was not what he had had in mind when he had planned to kill the bastard and salt the fucking ashes. If – no, when – he was going to meet Bruce again, we would deck the motherfucker straight in his chiseled face.*Things did not get better after the funeral, at least not for Dick. Blüdhaven was only a thirty-minute drive away from Gotham, but with everything going on in both cities, it might as well have been on the other side of the country. Whenever he was not busy trying to get the press off his back – both for statements concerning Bruce’s death and what the current status of the inheritance was, as well as vehemently shooting down allegations that he might be Nightwing – Dick had to deal with his hive of corrupt blood-sucking co-workers as well. Blüdhaven PD had never had a James Gordon, and the difference was staggering to say the least.Blüdhaven, Jason quickly came to realize, was Gotham stuck twelve years ago, back when Batman had been only a myth and GCPD had been a mockery of law enforcement and justice. Dick, while doing an excellent job as Nightwing, was failing hard as Officer Dick Grayson, not for lack of professional competence – he was probably the best-trained cop on the force, even before he had left the academy – but because of his stubborn refusal to get his hands dirty, to crack a few skulls where skulls needed cracking, to work outside the law when needed. Gordon had been able to afford this kind of idealism, because Batman – an entirely separate person – had been around to cross the lines he could not, but Dick Grayson did not have that luxury. He was trying to be both Batman and Gordon at once and it took Jason less than three days of observation to see that it was stretching him thin. Bruce’s death seemed to have done the rest, ruining what little good sleep he got in between shifts and causing him to make just the tiniest mistakes here and there.In a city like Blüdhaven or Gotham, tiny mistakes could be the difference between life and death.The first time Jason noticed the shadow, Dick had just gotten out of the Walmart on Ninth Street that he usually went to after his Thursday shift at the BPD. For all the care Nightwing took in choosing different patrol routes every night, Officer Dick Grayson was very much a creature of habit. The road home between his precinct and his high-rise apartment just south of the Spine could be covered in a brisk half-hour walk, and Dick covered it twice a day. The Walmart was halfway down the line, and Dick frequently stopped by for quick shopping sprees that lasted no more than ten minutes and resulted in him strolling from the store with a shopping bag full of cereal, microwavable instant-lunch crap, milk, eggs, and the occasional beer. He left his receipts in the shopping cart, too, and the first time Jason had picked one of them up, he had frowned at the hasty, nearly indecipherable handwriting that proved that his nutritional choices were not just the result of an under-stocked store.This time, he was not the one doing the picking.The man was short, stocky, and dressed in what he probably presumed was inconspicuous, but just screamed ‘stalker’ to Jason – a long trench coat in drab colors, a hat with a wide enough brim to cover half his face and leather gloves even though the weather had still remained surprisingly warm for early November and nowhere near cold enough to break out the winter attire. He turned the crumpled paper over, tossed it into the nearest trash can, and followed Dick at a good distance of fifteen meters until he got to the bank branch where Dick always withdrew his money from the ATM.The next day, he was already there when Dick passed by, fiddling with one of the machines to mingle with the crowd, before following him down Jefferson Avenue for two minutes, then veering off into an alley by the Barnes & Noble at the corner. The day after that, he was waiting in the book shop.It was twelve days past Halloween when he finally, successfully managed to track Dick all the way back to his apartment building, watching from across the road through a pair of binoculars as Dick opened his mailbox and retrieved what was likely not good news judging from the face he made.“Address confirmed,” the man muttered into his phone as he retreated back to the shadows of the nearby alleys. “I’ve had a greaser at BPD fix his schedule. It will be done by tomorrow night.”Red Hood waited until the call was finished before dropping down behind him, silent as a shadow, and bringing him into a chokehold. The fool tried to fight back, but earned nothing but an amused chuckle, a dislocated shoulder, and a knee to the stomach in return. He used the opportunity of having this bastard bent over, injecting him with a carefully measured sedative, grabbing him by the lapels of his coat, and dragging him through the maze of alleys back to the shady, little excuse of a street that he had parked the stolen car in. It was almost eleven in the evening after all. Nightwing was bound to be swinging from the twenty-eighth floor of that skyscraper soon.The man awoke to the disorienting, claustrophobic nightmare of a black plastic bag over his head, and the sound of metallic clicking over the lull of crashing waves. He also awoke to the feeling of being strapped to a chair, with his hands tied to the arm rests and his naked feet tied to the legs. The ensuing struggle as he realized what position he was in was accompanied by a string of panicked murmurs through the duct tape over his mouth.Jason got up slowly, circling his captive twice with deliberate steps that stopped the frantic pushing, pulling, and crying, but not the racing of his heartbeat. The man was terrified. Jason knew. He would have known it even without the hood. He had been there.“Wakey, wakey, bastard!” He ripped the bag off in one swift motion, watching on stoically as his prey started looking around, trying to identify where the hell he was. Go ahead and try, Jason thought. He had picked this dockside warehouse carefully. No one had been anywhere near this place in months, almost all the surveillance cams were broken, and ownership of the premises was still being discussed in court. No one had found Red Hood here in almost two weeks. No one would find this guy.“Batman isn’t coming to save you.” Jason stated as a matter of fact. “Nightwing isn’t coming to save you. Nobody knows you’re here. Nobody will know you ever were here when we are done.” He grabbed his chair from where he had left it and sat down right in front of the man. “And frankly, Anthony Zucco, I don’t think they’d care, even if they knew.”That drew a shocked little cry from his captive, and Jason felts his lips curl into a smile underneath the helmet. “Wondering how I know you, huh? You’re probably also wondering where you are, who I am, what I want with you, and why you’re tied to a chair, ain’t that right, Tony?” He muttered something that sounded vaguely like ‘go to hell’ through the gag and Jason shook his head. “You see, Tony, I’d love to chat, but I don’t have time for this, so here’s how this is going to go down: I’ll ask you two questions. That’s all. Two silly, little questions. If you don’t answer or if you try to get cocky with me, I’ll break one of your bones. Like this.”He reached for the hammer he had bought for the occasion and brought it down sharp onto Zucco’s right pinky, drawing a loud how from him in return.“See, that was the distal phalange of your right pinky. Do you know how many bones you have left to break in your body? Two-hundred and six. Do you want to be here all night? Because I don’t.” He broke the rest of his finger for good measure, then did the same to the one on the left hand and tore the duct tape off his mouth. “So, let’s get down to business. Here is what I already know: you’ve been tailing Dick Grayson. You have rigged his work schedule so he will be extra-exhausted when he comes home tomorrow. You are planning to kill him. Here is what I want you to tell me: who hired you?”“Who says anybody hired me?” Tony spat at his feet. “That brat ruined me! Batman would never have come after me, if it had not been for that little fairy! I spent the last ten years in prison because of him!”And yet despite being jailed for double-murder, someone successfully and anonymously bribed your parole board, Jason mused as he spun the hammer in his hand. He mustered Zucco from head to toe. Sweating, trembling, light tapping off the feet, no direct eye contact... and despite the fact that his words had been angry in vocabulary, the tone had been deeper into the territory of fear rather than anger. He removed his helmet slowly and forced his lips back into the smirk, knowing that nothing was more unsettling than watching your torturer smile at you the whole time. “Manners, Tony! It is very rude to lie to people.”He brought the hammer down again and again. Halfway through the twenty-seven bones of Zucco’s right hand, the thug finally caved.“Maroni!” There were tears streaming down his flushed face as he shouted the word into the emptiness of the warehouse. “Rossana Maroni! She wants payback for the bat ruining her family! She asked me to... to take out the bits of Grayson trash I missed.”Anger curled in Jason’s gut like a snake. Dick was many things. Spoiled. Obnoxious. Over-eager. Over-friendly. Cocky. Messy. Occasionally lazy. But he was not trash. He slammed the hammer onto the metacarpals in Zucco’s left hand and got a loud howl in return.“I’m not lying, I swear! Rossana Maroni! It’s—““I believe you, Tony,” Jason admitted as he grabbed him by what little hair had remained on his balding head and turned him up to face him. “But I said I had two questions. So... question number two: who’s the back-up?”Of course, Tony denied that there was such a thing. Jason wasn’t surprised. Few interrogation targets ever gave their torturers the full story right away. There was always that little bit of hope, that last thought of possible salvation, that made them hold out just a little. Especially when someone like the Maronis were involved. Granted, Rossana Maroni had spent most of her life overseas, having had very little contact with her Mafiosi father in Gotham, but that did not mean that she was any less vicious or dangerous than the rest of her family had been.He had just finished breaking both his radius bones when Zucco finally gave in. His voice was marred by painful groaning and a flood of tears. “Walker... Drury Walker...”“Killer Moth?” Jason raised an eyebrow at that. Walker hadn’t been in Gotham in a long time, at least not as far as he was aware, and he had never hunted in Blüdhaven before.“If I don’t report back successfully by midnight, he is supposed to blow up the apartment.”Jason mulled that information over in his head. They had only just confirmed Dick’s whereabouts today, which meant that there would likely be practically no time to actually plant an explosive. A skilled sniper could easily get a shot through the living room window from any of the skyscrapers on the other side of the Spine, if Dick was dumb enough not to draw the curtains after he got home (which he was not).Since sniping was out of the options, that meant they had to shoot an explosive device into the building. A rocket launcher perhaps. Either way, the sheer weight of a sufficiently sized shell would mean a much more close-ranged approach. Probably from one of the higher apartment complexes across the street. There were only three that Jason could think of that would give a sufficient line of sight. It would be enough.He dropped the hammer and stretched his hands, watching Tony Zucco sigh in relief. With a quick roll of his shoulders, Jason got up, drew one of his guns and put a bullet right between his eyes. One problem solved. Three left to go.Taking down Killer Moth had been even easier than expected, mostly because he hadn’t even had to wait until the next day. He had been back in Gotham, working on a completely unrelated thing, when he had caught him through the scope of his sniper rifle. Walker had been lying in wait atop the Carmine hotel in the Bowery, while Jason had been on Pioneer’s Bridge. Despite the winds that were starting to pick up and finally assume a wintery chill, it had not been a very tricky shot. One bullet later, Killer Moth had been plummeting to the ground. Two problems solved. Two left to go.Rossana Maroni was going to be a tougher nut to crack. None of the numbers Zucco or Walker had dialed were from outside the Gotham area, yet the name Maroni had not popped up in any of his searches. She was going by another name, a new identity, and tracking her down and dismantling whatever new business she was running was going to be a longer challenge. That left him with one more thing to take care off.Identifying the BPD officer who had taken Zucco’s call had been a piece of cake. Trying to trace everyone who had been involved in setting up Dick’s schedule so he would be at his most vulnerable was not. Jason had spent the better part of Dick’s double shift hacking into BPD comms and databases, yet every time he had thought he had finally amassed a comprehensive and exhaustive list of co-conspirators, someone else had raised a flag. He was now at a list of sixteen names, and he still felt like there were more to find. He was starting to wonder if there were any good cops in BPD at all. Well, there is at least one. It was almost eleven again. Rain was hammering down onto the dark gray asphalt of Blüdhaven’s streets, cold enough to occasionally turn into tiny pellets of ice, as Officer Dick Grayson arrived at his home address. His movements were more sluggish than usual. He fumbled with the keys to his mailbox just a little longer than before, then dragged his feet to the elevator.Red Hood was perched on one of the three suitable apartment buildings opposite of Dick’s apartment, the one with the best view of the dwelling, watching through the scope of his rifle as the indicator light for the state-of-the-art, Wayne-branded alarm system (probably a donation from Barb) went from ‘silently engaged’ red to ‘temporarily disarmed’ yellow. Dick shuffled through his door like a zombie and it was hard to blame him. Eight hours in the suit, sixteen hours in the uniform, no breaks. He managed to slip out of his shoes, ditch his jacket on the floor and loosen the top three bottoms of his blouse before passing out face-down on the couch. Jason sneered and was just about to turn around and go when his eyes fell onto the alarm system once more.It was still yellow.“Oh, fuck you, Dick!” He disassembled the sniper rifle into his two individual guns quickly, stood up, and considered his options.He could just leave now. It would be easy. Dump the list with the names of the dirty cops in the mail box. Turn around. Head back to Gotham. It wasn’t like he was lacking for things to do over there. Robin was still out of commission and the city was slowly going to hell again. He had his hands more than full. And besides, it was not like this was the worst area in Blüdhaven. Dick’s apartment was not very likely to get robbed. He had taken out the two hit men. And even if someone tried to break into Dick’s home, the noise was sure to wake him up, and whoever had picked that address would rue the day they had been born. It would be easy.Or, we could, you know, check on him to make sure that he’s absolutely ok and turn his alarm system back on before we leave, not-Robin argued in the back of his head. Jason still was not sure where that hopefully naïve voice had come from, because Robin had died under a crowbar back in the Asylum, but it was a nice counterpart to Joker’s incessant laughter. And as much as Jason hated to admit it, not-Robin was sometimes right. It would be the right thing to do.“The right thing to do is not commonly the easiest one,” Jason could remember Alfred saying, usually in reaction to Jason’s very common question of why Alfred and Bruce were still bothering with him, especially considering how ticked off Bruce often seemed. “Nor is it instantly rewarding in most cases, but what comes around, goes around, Master Todd. Sooner or later, you will be able to look back on the right choice and see the good it has done for you.”Jason sighed. It couldn’t hurt to take a quick look. Could it?He double-and triple-checked the system first. The alarms were off, but the cameras were still on. He grappled onto a nearby fire-escape, brought up the network cracking program on his phone and set to work. He would not be able to shut off the cameras without alerting Oracle, but looping the last ten minutes? That was definitely doable. Once it was done, he grappled up to Dick’s balcony and slipped inside.Richard Grayson was dead to the world. That was the only explanation Jason could find for how he managed to get within six inches of his face without waking him up. Dick was snoring softly, more passed out than asleep, his upper body rising and falling ever so slightly with each breath. His skin was unhealthily pale and it looked even worse next to the dark circles around his eyes and the utterly disheveled state of his hair. Two of his finger nails showed signs of nervous biting and judging from the way his uniform fit just a little more loosely than it had during the Arkham Knight’s last recon into Blüdhaven, he had lost weight too.None of it was surprising, really. Dick had always been rubbish at taking care of himself. They both had been, Dick and Bruce. Jason was rather sure that neither one of them would have lasted long without Alfred.Alfred, who had raised each of them like they were his own children. Alfred, who would work quietly behind the scenes to patch all the holes that needed patching, mend all the things that needed mending, before they were to add up to a weight strong enough to break his children’s backs.Alfred, who would weep if he could see Dick’s apartment in this state, Jason thought glumly as he took a look around. The floor was littered with discarded, unwashed clothes. The furniture and everything on it – mostly pictures of Dick and various people – his parents, Bruce, Barb, Alfred, a few friends Jason did not recognize – were covered in a thin, but noticeable layer of dust. The windows looked like they hadn’t been cleaned in ages. He made the mistake of checking the kitchen cupboards and fridge to see if Dick at least had enough food to fend off starvation, only to be greeted by a wide array of spoiled dairy and meat that seemed just about ready to gain sentience and start verbally begging him to be thrown out. When he cautiously opened one of the many half-finished boxes of cereal, a small dot of brown fluttered right at him and he crushed it in his fist on pure instinct. The delicate creature was now smudged against his palm, but there was no mistaking the brown and yellow bands on those wings.Looks like Walker wasn’t the only moth Dick should have been worried about, Jason thought with disgust as he tip-toed through the rest of the apartment. Dick was still passed out on the couch, and that pissed him off enough, because he could have shot him sixteen times by now, but that emotion soon paled against the sheer repulsion he felt at the sight of the bathroom. He had seen – and slept in – dumps that looked and smelled better than this place.He was just about ready to wake Dick up and tear him a new one when the sight of the bedroom knocked the breath right out of him. The mess he had expected. The thick layer of dust was already starting to look familiar. But, Jesus Christ almighty, this could not be healthy. Jason muttered a string of curses under his breath as he looked at the myriad of pictures put up throughout the room. Bruce in his office. Bruce in the gym. Bruce at a press conference. Alfred in the kitchen. Alfred cleaning the manor. Dick and Alfred fixing up a broken fence in the garden, Dick and Bruce at breakfast together. Dick and Bruce at a gala. Dick and Bruce at some award ceremony.He knew what was happening here. Dick was trying to cling onto every last happy memory he had of Bruce and Alfred, desperately trying to find some joy in these dark times, but Jason doubted this was the right approach. He thought of the tears over the grave. He thought of the young man currently passed out on the couch, too tired to notice the intruder in his home. This was not healthy and it was not safe.“I hope you’re happy, Bruce,” Jason muttered through clenched teeth as he picked up the picture of him with two supermodels or singers or actresses or whoever the fuck these girls had been by his side. “Your disappearing act just fucked up your eldest son.”With one last look at the man on the couch, Jason finally made a decision.Step number one was Dick’s phone. He was sure there was an alarm on there somewhere, set up to wake him up in an hour or two so he could go on patrol. Well, here’s one thing that’s not going to happen, Jason thought as he cracked the case open and took out the battery and sim card. He set them both down neatly on the coffee table before heading out the same way he had come in.Step number two was that little 24/7 corner store he had seen just two blocks to the right of Dick’s apartment building. He didn’t even bother switching to a civilian look, instead grabbing one of the metal baskets from the front entrance and heading straight for the food aisles. Flour, sugar, baking soda, vinegar – lots of baking soda and vinegar – eggs, bread, oil, butter, fresh cheese, rice pasta, canned vegetables and mushrooms, tomato sauce, salt, onion salt, pepper, paprika, coriander, frozen cod, chicken breast, minced beef, and a few steaks. It was a very basic list, but he wouldn’t have trusted Dick with fancy cooking to save his life.Next came the aisle with the household items. He grabbed two bottles of soap, one bottle of hand sanitizer, a fresh box of tabs for the dishwasher, detergent for the laundry – another thing in Dick’s home that he should have been happy to have, but hadn’t seemed to have used in weeks – four bottles of lemon-scented all-purpose cleaners, one set of kitchen towels, four sets of cleaning cloths, a duffel bag, and a roll of white, seven-gallons garbage bags. The cashier thankfully had the decency to stare at his masked face for only about ten seconds, before dutifully scanning and packing the goods, and accepting the cash Jason handed him.Step number three was the real work. Jason sighed as he grappled up onto the balcony once more and slipped in with the grace and silence of a cat. Dick had not moved an inch and that in and of itself was alarming. Perhaps his assessment had been wrong. If someone were to break into this apartment right now, Dick would probably sleep through it all while they cleared out his home. He set the bags down carefully and got to work.He decided to start with the bedroom, picking up the dirty clothes littering the floor and stuffing them into the duffle bag. He added the rumpled, smelly bed sheets while he was at it and put on new ones from the chest by the foot of the bed. He didn’t even want to think about how long it had been since Dick had last changed them. Once he was done, he took one of the cloths and a bottle of cleaner to every surface in the room. It took almost an hour, but eventually, the rich brown furniture actually looked rich brown rather than dusty gray and Jason felt a strange tinge of pride swell in his chest.The bathroom was next, gross as it was. He ended up using the remainder of the first bottle, plus all of the second, and three new cloths, and he was pretty sure he had pulled half a wookie from the drains of the bathtub and the sink by the time he was done, but at least now the place shone and sparkled. No more filthy tiles. That alone had been worth it, and he shuddered to repress the memories of Arkham that were threatening to resurface and hamper his productivity. He tied the trash bag with a fierce and resolute tug and ditched it right inside Dick’s front door. The half-wet towels that had been discarded all across the bathroom floor joined the rest of the laundry in the duffle bag. Alfred would have raised an offended eyebrow at the mixture of linens, towels, and normal clothes, but fuck it. He only had one shot at this.The kitchen was undoubtedly the hardest part, not just because there was no door to close and shut off the noise that might wake Dick from his exhausted slumber – he was a bat after all, and whatever brain cells Jason was not currently wasting on figuring out how to clean up this mess, he was using on figuring out the fastest escape strategy – but also because he was not sure he had seen a kitchen this messy since he had first set up the training facilities for his militia. His men had learned soon enough that leaving any part of the facilities in a mess was the fasted way to getting their asses kicked outside of combat training. He had half a mind to kick Dick’s ass, too, but that would have meant a confrontation he was hoping to avoid for... a long time at least. Potentially forever. He wasn’t sure what Dick’s reaction to the revelation of Red Hood’s identity (or the Arkham Knight’s) would be. He wasn’t sure if he would be able to stomach it, if it were anger and rejection.What he did know, was that every bit of food that was currently in this kitchen had to go. That included the moth-infested boxes of cereal, the furry yogurt in the fridge, the spoiled milk, the whatever-it-was that coated the counters and the top and inside of the oven, and the two sad apples that had turned brown and squishy in their dusty little bowl on the kitchen table. He dumped all of it into another three trash bags as carefully as possible and set them down next to the one from the bathroom.This time, all-purpose cleaner was not going to cut it. It was enough for the counters, the table, the chair, the window, the cupboards, and even the fridge, but Jason frowned at the sight of the poor, abused stove. It seemed the state of Dick’s household appliances was indirectly proportional to his own personal state of grooming, and Jason could only hope that he never took any of his supermodel dates back to his place. Ditzy glamour girls or not, he would not wish this kind of hell on anyone.He scrubbed all the cupboards with vinegar once, then peppered the stove with baking power, filled one of the empty cleaner spray cans with the remaining vinegar, and sprayed it on top of the powder. The reaction started instantly, causing a slight bubbling and sizzling that quickly turned the white to yellow as it soaked up the grease. Last but not least, he made sure to sort in all the food, circling the expiry dates with the red marker hanging from the kitchen calendar, and labeling the vinegar bottle as well. He ditched it underneath the sink, together with one of the remaining two bottles of cleaner and half the remaining cloths.The living room was next, and while not particularly hard in terms of actual dirtiness, working his way through the room did nothing to help his paranoia. Dick seemed fast asleep, aside from the occasional twitching of a foot or hand, but that could change in an instant, and Jason kept one eye on him at all times. Halfway through wiping down the coffee table, Dick suddenly turned sharply, grabbing one of the pillows his face had been pressed into and clutching it to his stomach as he rolled to face the center of the room. He was now close enough for Jason to feel his breath, had he not worn the helmet, and Jason felt every fiber of muscle in his body freeze. Dick murmured something incomprehensible as his feet kicked against the armrest on the opposite side of couch, before quieting down again. Jason counted silently to one-hundred before he allowed himself to let out the breath he had been holding and continued with his task. He returned to the kitchen one last time to wipe off the now greasy baking soda. The empty cleaner bottle and the remaining dirty clothes eventually went into the fifth and final trash bag and joined their brothers by the door.Last of all, Jason stuffed all the dirty laundry into the washer, filled in the detergent, and set the program. He did the same for the dish washer – the only case in which Dick had behaved like a civilized person, actually putting his dishes into the machine, albeit in completely irrational and inefficient order, before fitting each sink with one bottle of soap, and adding the sanitizer to the sink in the bathroom. With a deep sigh, Jason returned to the living room and looked at his surroundings.Even in the darkness of the night, the place suddenly looked clean. It looked nice. It looked like a home. Sure, it was certain to freak Dick right the fuck out the moment he woke up, but he could at least dream of him appreciating it even a little bit. He took the opportunity to sit down in the arm chair on the other side of the coffee table for a minute, to close his eyes and let the tension from his impromptu cleaning session drain from his limbs. According to the clock integrated into his helmet, it had taken him three hours to clean up the place, but despite the slow ache building up in his abused back and shoulders, he felt strangely at peace with his own body.It was an incoming call from Oracle that finally broke the silence all around him. Jason gave one quick look at the prone body on the couch, then headed for the balcony.“Oracle.”“Wow.” Barb seemed stunned, although he doubted it was a bad thing. He could hear the amusement swinging in her voice. “I was not really expecting you to answer. Is everything ok?”“Busy.” It was only half a lie. He still had a lot to do. He had just taken a break. That was not a crime, no matter how much Bruce had always made it seem so. “Where’s the fire?”Barbara groaned. “I wish you hadn’t said that. I’ve got two situations here that I would really appreciate some help with. Number one, Firefly broke out of Blackgate. GCPD tracked him to Burnley, but then his trail ran cold. No pun intended.”Firefly. Petroleum-based Napalm, military jetpacks and one hell of a lot of crazy. Jason felt the burn scars on his palms and soles and the J on his face itch at the thought. This was not going to be pleasant. “I take it option number two is equally crappy?”“Yeah, I don’t think you’re gonna like it,” Barb admitted. “I was trying to contact Nightwing, because I dug up some info that might be helpful on one of his cases, but I can’t seem to reach him. According to the cam footage from his apartment he’s asleep on the couch, but I can’t even reach his private phone.”Jason felt his lips curl into a tiny smirk underneath the mask. “Fine. I’ll go wake the bird. Then I’ll go for the fly. I’ll report back in an hour.”He didn’t wait for her reply to close the comms link. It was more than about time that he high-tailed it out of here. Jason sat down on the arm chair once more, reached for the blue ballpoint pen on the table, and retrieved the piece of paper with the BPD names from his pocket. The back was still blank, and he did his best to write in perfect block letters. He wasn’t sure if Dick would recognize his hand-writing if he were to write in cursive, but he would rather be safe than sorry. Working yourself to death is not going to bring Bruce back. Growing a new life form in your fridge is not going to bring Alfred back, either. You owe me $48,25. He left the note on the table with the ‘cops that want you dead’ side up and gave one last look at Dick’s face. Most people looked younger and more peaceful when they slept, and Dick was no exception. All the cares of the world seemed lost on him for the moment. He looked tired and beaten, yes, but he was alive. There was a silver lining. “Savor the silence, Dickie. You’re just about in for one hell of an awakening.”Finally, Jason headed for the bathroom and kitchen one last time to turn on the laundry and dishwasher, before returning to the living room and reassembling Dick’s phone. If the rumbling noises from the machines were not going to wake him up, Barb’s inevitable call surely would. He closed the door to the balcony after himself, grappled onto the nearest structure, disabled the video loop, and reactivated the security system.He had already crushed a moth. Now it was time to crush a fly.* Fuck winter in Gotham! Fuck snow! Fuck ice! Fuck blizzards! Fuck the stupid, fucking cold! Jason cursed under his breath as he grappled into the Diamond District, which was quite possibly the most posh part of town outside of the suburbs. Sometime over the last four days of January, the weather had decided to give everyone in the town the middle finger, bringing on a full-scale blizzard with temperatures that were in the negatives no matter which fucking scale you used, iced over streets that tripled the amount of traffic accidents and effectively crippled GCPD’s ability to arrive at a scene quickly, iced over ledges which effectively crippled his ability to arrive quickly, and enough snow to severely hamper visibility.It had been a lousy night, to say the least. Hell, as far as Jason was concerned, it had been a lousy week. From Barbara leading him to the little memorial grave Bruce had erected for him in the forest surrounding the manor, to getting tackle-hugged by Dick right in front of said grave, to being dragged off to Wayne Tower so he could meet up with Lucius and they could all listen to the presentation of Bruce’s will, the last week of January had already started out less than ideal. Granted, Dick and Lucius had taken his survival better than expected, but that had brought its own problems with it.Jason still wasn’t entirely sure why he had eventually decided to let Barbara arrange an apartment for him. Maybe it had been guilt, because she had been begging him to let her do just that ever since All Saints Day. Maybe it had been misguided optimism, brought on by Bruce’s last will and testimony, which had managed to pack more emotion into one sentence than the bastard had used to display in a month. Maybe it had just been a temporary bout of insanity. That was actually the most likely option.Whatever it had been, he was about to face the fallout now. Jason muttered a quick string of Spanish curses as he shrugged off his jacket and turned it inside out so that no one could see the red bat on his back, zipped up the hood to hide the red bat on his chest, and removed the helmet to tuck it away in the duffel bag he had brought, together with his guns and ammo. And pretty much everything else he owned. When you were moving from safe-house to safe-house every night, less really was more.The cold hit him in the face like a set of brass knuckles, harsh, cold and unforgiving. It brought out the nerve damage in his back and shoulders, from the time spent strung up on a meat hook in the Asylum, but it also brought back memories of card board boxes, half-rotten food fished from dumpsters, and the sheer desperation that drove him to do anything, anything at all, for just a few bucks that would mean the difference between life and death.Yeah, it was safe to say Jason hated winter.Barbara was waiting in front of the building’s main entrance, wrapped up in a very thick, very warm-looking fur coat, with the replace—Tim in an equally puffy coat right next to her. Jason eyed the house with a critical glance. It was built in the typical style of all of New Gotham’s houses, but the surveillance cams on the side of the building and the re-enforced double-pane windows hinted at just how much money must have been put into the restoration of it. It wasn’t Lacey Towers, but it looked clean, safe, and well-maintained, and that was good enough for starters. With a heavy sigh, Jason grappled down onto the deserted street and made his way over to the entrance.Barb’s pout turned into a warm smile the instant she saw him. “Jason! I’m so glad you came!”“Barb.” He gave her a quick nod, followed by an even shorter nod to Robin. “Replacement.”“Tim—““It’s ok, Barb,” the replacement interrupted instantly. “Really, it’s fine. I’ll wait in the car.” Robin gave him an equally curt nod before turning to leave. “Good night, Jason.”“Tim has done absolutely nothing to you,” Barb chided. “You shouldn’t be so hard on him.”Jason groaned. “Are you going to give me the keys now? Because if I have to listen to a lecture first, I’d really rather go to one of my safe-houses.”Technically, he didn’t. His safe-houses were good enough for being just that: safe-houses. A place to crash and recover from whatever ordeal the night had thrown at him, but this... this was an apartment, a proper home, or at least the promise of one, and as much as Jason hated himself for it, the idea filled him with hopeful anticipation. An anticipation that only grew as Barbara led the way up a ramp that looked much younger than the stairs, and into the building proper.The foyer was spacious and bright, with four cameras monitoring the entire room. The mail boxes each had their own locks and a night guard in a Securitas uniform waited to greet them at the front desk. Barb handed over the papers proving that, yes, Jason was indeed a new tenant and they had the keys to show for it, before being directed to the nearest of three elevators. The layout of the place – from the stairs to the chandeliers – was definitely old architecture, but everything had been renovated and freshly painted, dousing the hall in a warm, ivory glow. The metallic gray elevators looked ridiculously out of place, but then again, nothing was ever perfect. Barbara waited until he had joined her inside the middle elevator before pushing the button for the eighth floor, not quite all the way to the top, but high enough to discourage many unwanted guests, even despite the lift.“There’s an access hatch to the roof on the twelfth floor,” Barbara explained as they moved upwards. “It should give you a quick entry and exit route if the fire escape is not an option for some reason.”“Neighbors?”“Mixed bunch. First two floors are family apartments with five bedrooms each. Third and fourth, three bedrooms, fifth to twelfth, one bedroom. Most of the people on your floor are bachelors in their twenties and thirties. One couple. All apartments are properly insulated and sound-proof. The building’s owned by a grumpy old man who – and I quote – ‘has been lamenting the lack of affordable housing for bachelors’ for forty years now.”Jason scoffed as the elevator doors opened. “So, like, what? Did he win the lottery or something?”“Actually, that’s exactly what he did,” Barb grinned at him as she moved out into the hallway. The floor was carpeted, most likely for noise reduction, but at least it looked to be the kind of short, hotel-style carpet that could be easily cleaned. The walls and ceiling were painted in the same ivory tone as the foyer, and the doors were a deep rich auburn in color. They looked almost red in the warmth of the hallway’s lighting. Barb paused in front of the door to apartment 814 and pointed at the box next to it. “He’s also a security nut, so he didn’t mind when I asked for permission to have this installed for you. Punch in the access code to deactivate the alarm. If you want to, I can install a retina scanner in the door’s peephole, too.”“I’ll do it myself,” Jason said and he merely shrugged his shoulders at the indignant look of mild hurt that ghosted across Barb’s face. “What’s the code right now?”“12345678.”Jason frowned. “Well, I know what I’ll be doing before I go to bed.” He punched in the code and waited until the alarm indicator had switched from red to green before taking the key Barbara held out to him and unlocking the door. It still felt strange, even after all these years, a door unlocking so easily, because he had the actual key rather than a lock pick.Perhaps it was old habit. Perhaps it was paranoia. Either way, Jason peeked inside the apartment carefully before stepping into the internal hallway proper. Barbara was sharp on his heels, and the door closed behind her with a quiet clap.They were in a hallway that ran parallel to the outside hall, albeit slightly thinner and with less lighting. It was cut short to his left and ended in a door that led to a small storage room with typical household devices: a vacuum cleaner, a broom, a mop with a bucket.“There’s a basement storage room that comes with this apartment,” Barbara explained at his inquisitive look at the small room. “That’s what the other keys on the chain are for: big square key for the main entrance, big round key for your apartment, small square key for your mail box, small round key for your basement.”Jason nodded before moving past the doorless entrance into what looked like the living room and on to another door to his left. The bathroom it led to was small, with only a toilet, a sink, a mirror, and lots of tiles. He backed out the moment he was done checking if the light switch, tap, and flush actually worked, and continued onwards to the door at the end of the hallway. The bedroom was probably smaller than it looked, but the way the furniture had been arranged certainly helped. The queen-sized bed had likely been meant to be right beneath the window, but it had been moved off to the side, leaving space on the other side for a wooden desk with separate drawers and generous surface area. Between the desk and the door, a closet and two drawers waited for his belongings, scarce as they were. Opposite the door, part of the room was taken up by a separate cubicle.“En suite bathroom?”“With bathtub, laundry, and drier,” Barbara confirmed as she watched him enter the bathroom and test the taps. “Tim moved the bed so you could have both the door and the window in sight while you’re asleep. That’s what you did at the manor, too, right?”“Right...”Jason remembered that night. He had just torn his way through the corrupt wardens of the orphanage Batman had dumped him in two days prior, and had come out with only a broken ulna as a serious injury. Batman had eventually come to finish the fight, and he had promptly tucked Jason into the Batmobile to take him ‘somewhere you’ll be safe and warm, somewhere you can have a chance’.Jason hadn’t believed him back then. It had to have been some kind of ploy to take him somewhere else where people would try to exploit him, and when Batman had dumped him on the doorstep of 1008 Mountain Drive, the residence of Bruce fucking Wayne, he had known that he’d been fucked. There was only one reason rich guys like that ever brought home street rats like him, and once he had realized that escape was not an option – that freaking butler was everywhere, and if it wasn’t him, it was the manor’s omnipresent alarm – he had resolved to improve his chances as much as he could, and not even a broken arm had stopped him from moving that monstrosity of a bed.“So the replac—Drake has already been in here, huh?”“Only to move the furniture,” Barbara assured him. “I would have done it myself, but... well...” She pointed at her legs and Jason instantly felt about two inches high.“I’m sorry.”“Don’t be. It’s okay. Do you want to see the rest?”Jason nodded slowly, leading the way back out of the bedroom and into the living room, with its massive windows, a huge couch and a large flat-screen TV. It really was like coming back to the manor all over again, if on a smaller base. There were a few plants in the nearby corners, but other than that, the place still looked relatively empty. Good. It meant he had less places to search for bugs.The last room was the kitchen, connected directly to the living room through another doorless entrance. The counters were sparkling clean and he half-expected the cupboards to be the same, only to find them fully stocked with all the essentials – pasta, rice, oil, vinegar, canned vegetables... The fridge and freezer were the same, and there was lemon-scented cleaner and some fresh cloths underneath the sink, together with an unopened set of plastic cutlery and plates, which he raised a quick eyebrow at.“Well, whoever stocked the kitchen cheaped out on the dishes.”“More like ‘did not want to buy something you’d find ugly, so we’re leaving that to you.” Barb gave him a warm smile as one of her hands slid over the knuckles of his left. The touch still made him wince a little – physical affection was not exactly something he had had in spades over the last couple of years – but at least he didn’t pull away. “This is your home now, Jason,” Barbara insisted. “You decide which color you paint the walls. You decide what and who goes in here and what doesn’t. You and only you. None of us are going to take those choices from you unless you specifically ask us to do so.” She watched his gaze flicker over to the can of sliced mushrooms he had retrieved from one of the cupboards and grinned sheepishly. “Okay, and we bought you some food for the first day or two so you can not starve while you’re getting your bearings, but you get the idea.”“Yeah...” He wondered if he really did. The place looked nice. It was in a good neighborhood. Up high. Lots of windows, aka lots of escape routes. Warm, safe, clean. It had all necessary facilities. It was his. He took the keys from Barb’s hands and turned them over once before slamming them down hard on the counter and closing his eyes against the laughter swelling in the back of his head.“Jason?” The concern was both in Barbara’s voice and in her eyes. “Is something wrong?”“How about everything?” He chuckled over the words in an attempt to play down how much he meant it, but Barbara wasn’t fooled, of course. She had never taken any bullshit from any bat. She wasn’t going to start for him, now.“I...” He wondered how to describe the tightness that had grabbed hold of his chest all of a sudden. Barbara deserved that much, after all the times she had turned a blind eye to all his transgressions as the Arkham Knight, as Red Hood. He was just about to go down the list again when he realized that that was exactly his problem.“I don’t deserve any of this.” He didn’t. He really fucking didn’t. “Barb... you know what I did. To Gotham. To her people. To Bruce. To you.” He pointed at the spot on her cheek where there had been a nasty bruise right after Halloween, a token of the scuffle they had had in the Clock Tower. “I kidnapped you, Barb. Scarecrow nearly gassed you, because of me. Batman was unmasked, because I gave Scarecrow the means to get to him. And Stagg... do you know how many people there were on Stagg’s airship that are dead now, because of orders I gave to my soldiers?”“Fifty-five.” Barbara didn’t even flinch, although her grip around his hand tightened. “Fifty-five people. Do you know what I also know? That some anonymous donor has been funneling almost a quarter million dollars into the City of Fear memorial fund for the loved ones left behind. I also know that for each and every single one of those fifty-five, an anonymous, but personalized condolence letter was sent to the fund’s administrators, to be handed out to their families.”“I should be in jail.” Perhaps he hadn’t been clear enough. Jason pressed his lips into a thin line. “I should be dead or in jail. Why haven’t you told your dad yet? Or Cash? They must have at least a hundred arrest warrants on me.”“They did for Batman, too,” Barbara lobbed back at him, although there was no bite, to anger to her words. “There are also warrants for Batgirl. And Robin. And Nightwing in Blüdhaven. We are family, Jason. We need to stick together. Especially now.”He watched her head for the fridge and procure a bottle of Vietti from the top compartment. Next to the expensive red wine, the plastic cups from beneath the sink looked almost ridiculous, but Barbara didn’t seem to care as she handed him one and filled the other for herself.“As for locking you up... there are exactly four reasons why incarceration is used as a sentence. Number one: retribution, and I think you don’t need any more of that. You’ve suffered more than enough, Jason, physically and emotionally. You know you did wrong. You regret. There is nothing more to be gained from causing you more pain. Number two: incapacitation. You were trained by Bruce and you haven’t slacked off over the years. I think at this point the only way to incapacitate you, would be to kill you.”Jason couldn’t argue with that. He wasn’t sure the prison that could hold any of them had been built yet. He took a careful sip from his cup.“Number three, deterrence. I’ve been monitoring your movements, Jason. You haven’t killed a single innocent civilian since Halloween. Hell, you’ve gone out of your way to save people. I think you’ve deterred yourself perfectly fine.”“Bruce would argue ‘innocence’ has nothing to do with it.”“Bruce was an idealist with his heads in the clouds and a batarang up his ass,” Barbara stated as a matter of fact over her own red wine. “I applaud his moral code and I do wish you’d try to live by it, but truth is half the time you shoot one of the bastards, almost everyone in GCPD is going ‘thank god someone finally did it’. And I refuse to ignore all the good you’ve been doing for the last three months.”All the good... Jason let the words bounce around his skull over a few more sips form the cup. There were thousands of people in Gotham who were alive today because of the things he had done over the last three months. Some of them knew. Most of them didn’t. It made no difference, in the end. “So what’s reason number four?”Barbara finished her cup and put it into the sink carefully. “Rehabilitation.” She gave him a long hard look from head to toe before reaching for his hand once more. “And to be perfectly honest, I think you need that one more than anything else.” A slight grin graced her lips. “Do you know what the name ‘Jason’ means?”“To heal.” It had always seemed like a bad joke. It didn’t seem better now.“Exactly.” Barbara nodded softly. “And you need to be true to your name right now, Jason. You need to heal. You need to recover. And you can’t do that behind bars and you certainly can’t do it when you’re dead.”“So this is...” He used his free hand to gesture at the fresh, new apartment all around them. “This is you and the birds trying to rehabilitate me, huh?”Barb gave him a crooked smile. “Is it working?”He was about to fire back an equally snappish remark when his phone suddenly broke the silence between them. The alertness the notification sound had caused in him dissolved into sheer annoyance as he brought up the message. “Fucking hell...”“Trouble?”Jason scowled at her over his phone. “You tell me; you’re the one who gave my number to the stalking octopus from hell.” Oracle’s bright laughter did nothing to dissolve the tension. As a matter of fact, it only pissed him off more. “Seriously, Barb, do you realize what you’ve done? I’ve been getting texts and calls from him every damn night since we watched that stupid will in Wayne Tower!”“Did it ever occur to you to reply?” At least some of his utter frustration must have carried over, if Barbara’s sudden quieting was anything to go by. The smile on her face had turned from flat-out amused to just slightly sad. “He just wants to know you’re really alive, Jason. Do you have any idea—”At last, her hands let go of his fingers. Jason watched her retrieve the cup from the sink and pour in more wine. She downed it in one long chug.“Jason, for the first month after Halloween, I spent every morning waking up thinking: ‘Are Bruce and Alfred really gone?’ ‘Is Jason really still alive?’ ‘Or did my brain just make all this shit up to cope with the trauma?’”Barbara poured again before pointing at the phone in his hand. “You’re his little brother, Jason. He spent fifteen months searching for you, day and night, only to watch you get shot on camera. He’s been mourning you for years. Dick just wants to know he didn’t hallucinate last Monday. Just text him back. I don’t care if it’s only ‘yes, I’m alive, fuck off, I don’t want to talk’. Just... let him know you’re alive, please? If he doesn’t get the hint, Tim and I will be happy to knock some sense into him.” “Why should I believe you?” Jason finished his cup, poured again – the wine was almost gone and somehow that made him disproportionally sad – and started nibbling on the plastic edge of his cup. “You’re the one who set me up to get tackle-hugged by him in front of my own fucking grave. You’re the one who dragged me to that presentation of Bruce’s will at Wayne Tower. You’re the one who’s arranged this place. I know an approaching intervention when I see one, Barb.”“It’s not an intervention.” Despite the sternness of her words, Barbara’s voice remained gentle as ever. Jason still hadn’t figured out how she did that. She and Alfred, both. “I took you to the presentation, because it was Bruce’s last wish that ‘all of his sons’ be there, and despite what you may want to believe: you are his son. I had you meet Dick before that, because I did not want you to have to deal with Lucius, Dick, Tim, and Bruce’s will all at once. I know it was a lot to take in on a single night, and I’m sorry for the pain it obviously caused you. It wasn’t ideal. I would have tried to let you and Dick meet a lot earlier, for his sake, if I had thought that you were ready for it, and if I had actually gotten a hold of you.”“Good thing you didn’t.” He wasn’t sure how that would have gone down. He still wasn’t sure how his reunion with Dick hadn’t ended in a full-out brawl and broken bones. All he knew was that he had had about all the family reunions he could stomach for this month.“And as for the apartment,” Babs continued as she emptied the bottle, “... I respect your wish for independence and distance. I really do, Jason, but you are my little brother and right now you’re practically homeless. I am not letting you live on the street in the middle of goddamn Gotham winter! You deserve so much better than that.”He didn’t, but there was no point in arguing with her. Stubbornness was a trait that ran in the family, even if they were not related by blood. He looked out the window on the other side of the living room and spotted a speck of the sky in the distance. The sky was starting to turn blue.Barb saw it, too, and the sight made her shake her head. “Jason, could you do me a favor please?” He finished his cup of wine and set it down in the sink, together with Barb’s own empty cup. A tiny smile curved her lips. “I’d like to finish this conversation at eye level, if you don’t mind.”He raised an eyebrow at that, but crouched down nonetheless. The motion, together with the pressure changes brought on by the blizzard, set off the nerve damage in his ankle just a little, but he was damned if he was going to let it show. Not when this ordeal was almost over.The huge came so swift and sudden, yet so gently, he couldn’t even pinpoint when it had started. Barbara’s head rested lightly on his shoulder, her fiery red hair brushing against the ugly brand ever so slightly.“It’s ok, if you don’t want any of us around yet,” Barbara muttered softly while running one of her hands up and down his spine. “It’s perfectly ok, even if Dick, Tim, and I don’t like it. You can’t force rehabilitation. You can’t force someone to get better.” She pulled him in tighter for just a second, before pulling back to break the hug and run her hands along his jaw line into his hair. “And we want you to get better. Don’t you ever doubt that, Jason. The rest will come in time.”He wasn’t entirely sure what ‘the rest’ meant, but he was pretty damn sure he was in no condition to ask. He felt... more than tired... more than exhausted. He felt worn down, like all the crap of the last three months, up to and including All Hallow’s Eve had suddenly come crashing down on him, taking its toll on his body, mind, and soul. Barbara answered his silence with a quick kiss to his cheek.“Do you want me to stay?”“No.” He didn’t know how he knew that, but he really did not want her here tonight. “And you don’t want your darling hubby to sleep in a car either, do you?”That made her laugh. “Wouldn’t be the worst place he ever caught a nap.” Barb shook her head, turned around, and started heading for the front door. Jason followed her with slow strides, taking in his surroundings as he went along. This was all his now. Somehow. She stopped just shy of the door. “And one more thing, Jason: I’m happy you’re back. We all are. Never forget that, okay?”“Yeah, yeah, whatever...” He held the door open for her and blinked at the sudden influx of bright light from the hallway. The keys still felt strange in his pocket. “Now get out of here and go home.”Barbara laughed as she headed for the elevator. “Don’t forget to text Dick!”He waited until she had disappeared into the nearest elevator, before closing the door and re-activating the alarm. The re-configuration instructions were written out clearly on a card tucked inside the box inside of his apartment, and he changed the code immediately. He would have to tinker with it later, re-program it to include a longer, alphanumeric code and biometric feedback. If necessary, he’d just replace the entire damn thing. Either way, no one was getting in here without his permission.For better or for worse, this place was his.He had already switched off all the lights they had turned on throughout the tour and shrugged out of half his clothes, when his eyes fell onto the phone once more. He thought back to what Barbara had said earlier. ‘Yes, I’m alive, fuck off’ sounded like an excellent thing to send in reply, and he typed the letters in quickly and hit ‘send’.Five seconds later, his mail box sprang to life with a series of loud beeps. Jason scowled as he picked up the phone and skimmed through the messages. oh thank god!!!! i was afraid i was just hallucinating thx 4 replying if u r in ur apt already, look in drawer above fridge look in box of cocoa puffs good night lw “Oh, fuck you, Dick!”His mind was still weeping at the lack of proper spelling or punctuation as he made his way back to the kitchen. Sure enough, there was an extra-large box of cocoa puffs next to the flour and the sugar in the cupboard above the fridge, and the cardboard had clearly been opened before. He retrieved the sealed bag of cereal first, then shook out the box. A simple white envelope fell to his feet, and Jason opened it with a frown. It felt too heavy to be just paper, but he started with the letter nonetheless. At least this time the writing was up to acceptable standards. Dear Jason, I still can’t believe it’s really you. I feel like fifteen months of prayers have finally been answered three years late. Either way, I’m really, really happy that you are still alive. Please stay with us, okay? As for this letter, you know, up until last Sunday I thought Barb had sent Tim to prank me two months ago. Turns out she knew all along that it was you. I only wish she had told me sooner. Thank you, Little Wing. Take care! Dick He ditched the letter on the nearby counter and started rifling through the remainder of the envelope’s contents.He came up to forty-eight dollars and twenty-five cents.
11235024	2 Winterhawk 2 Kisses	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Clint Barton, James Barnes, Steve Rogers, Tony Stark, Natasha Romanov, Sam Wilson", "Fandom": null, "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by Nny", "chapters": "150/150", "completed": "2017-11-12", "published": "2017-06-18T00:00:00", "words": "54,122", "Additional Tags": "Originally Posted on Tumblr, Pillow & Blanket Forts, Alternate Universe - Mob, Internalized Homophobia, Alternate Universe - Police, Anxiety, Crossover, Alternate Universe - Daemons, Home Improvement, Alternate Universe - Aquarium, High School", "Relationship": "James \"Bucky\" Barnes/Clint Barton", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": "Winterhawk Kisses", "Collections": null, "Fandoms": "The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom", "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	“I’m grateful,” Steve said, awkwardly, “it was an incredibly generous donation.” it had kinda had to be. Steve, ex-military, current Mr May in the firefighters’ annual charity character, had definitely been the hot ticket at the bachelor auction. Mostly Clint had seen the look of faint panic on his face and bid to save him an awkward dinner with one of the terrifying actual rich people who’d been hovering. “Compensation. Kinda got hit by a bus,” Clint said, going to rub the back of his neck and almost braining himself with his cast. “I, er, kinda got hit by a bus a lot. There was this dog -”The guy hovering nearby, the one who’d been looking steadily more and more homicidal as Steve was pawed by people ‘checking out the merchandise’, snorted under his breath. Clint figured boyfriend? Probably boyfriend. They went well together, a study in contrasts - Steve was blond haired blue eyed summer, his guy was monochromatic winter, dark hair and grey eyes and ice in his expression. He was more Clint’s type, actually, looked like trouble with the goddamn capslock on, but Clint wasn’t tacky enough to eye up the boyfriend of the guy he’d just bought. “So we should - make a date, I guess?” Steve said, and then his eyes drifted over to some kinda disturbance across the room, and all the color leeched out of his face. The new guy was - Clint was feeling ridiculously out of his league, right now. He was in a tailored tux, which was a level of fancy that Clint couldn’t quite get. He had a kind of elegantly rumpled air about him but his facial hair was trimmed to perfection, like he had his own personal barber on call at all times. If it wasn’t for the look of anxious hope on his face - “Steve,” he said, relieved and breathless and a little bit wrecked. “Tony,” Steve said, low, and Clint could practically see boyfriend’s hackles rise. ‘cos Clint wasn’t exactly a people person, but even he could hear that Steve’s casual tone was just spackle over bone deep cracks. “You,” Tony said, “biceps.” It took Clint a second to realise - “Wait, me?” Tony nodded impatiently without even looking at him, apparently lost completely in Steve’s sky blue eyes. “I’ll give you a check, okay. I’ll give the charity a check. I will create a whole charitable foundation in your name if you’ll let me - I had to see you again.” He was talking to Steve now, low and urgent and like the climax of some romantic film. “I know you said - but I couldn’t -”“Tony,” Steve said, and he sounded freaking agonised, and Clint shuffled backwards, feeling awkward, not so much wanting to see the look on boyfriend’s face. Instead he made his way over to the harrassed looking kid in charge of the donations to hand over his details; Tony could do what he liked with his cash, but Clint’d already decided on donating most of what he’d got, and he wasn’t letting some kinda Love Actually situation get in his way. Then, feeling a little accomplished, a little relieved - there was no way he’d’ve got through dinner without making a comment about the hotness of Steve’s guy - Clint stuck his hands in his pockets and sauntered over to the bar.He installed himself in a booth when he’d got his beer, turning it around on the table top and watching parts of a hockey match around the edge of a pillar. Against his will he got a little caught up in trying to work out what was going on in the bits of screen he couldn’t see, and he almost jumped out of his skin when a low voice spoke. “Hey. Mind if I sit?” He wasn’t expecting boyfriend, and it upset all the boxes of butterflies he’d just managed to get under control. Clint made an inviting type of gesture and boyfriend slid in across from him, looking - surprisingly okay for someone who’s just witnessed the kinda reunion for which Oscars are won. “Hey,” boyfriend said, “I’m Bucky.” “Clint,” he answered automatically. “Which - obviously you know.” “I’m sorry about the whole -” Bucky waved a hand vaguely in the direction of the lobby; Clint figured he wasn’t talking about the appalling color scheme. “No, man, I’m sorry about your guy,” Clint said. Bucky’s face fell, screwed up a little, and Clint poked at his beer. “I mean, he wasn’t so much my type, but you guys looked -”“We’re not,” Bucky said flatly. “What?”“I’m - we’re friends.” “Huh,” said Clint. The protective thing looked a little different from this angle. Clint kinda liked it. “Friends, huh?”Bucky grinned a little, leaned forward across the table, lowering his voice to conspiratorial, almost tactile, nearly shivering down Clint’s spine.“So,” he said, with a wicked smile. “Tell me more about your type.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Bucky’s teetering over into okay, and he’s not sure what to do about that, how to feel. There are still nightmares - he’s pretty sure there will always be nightmares - but they don’t steal days any more. Maybe a little of that is waking up in Clint’s arms.It’d been a slow sort of progress. He noticed - he’s traumatised, not dead - but didn’t think to act on it, didn’t want for more than sarcastic comments and how they found all the laughter he thought had left him, brought it out into the open. But it developed, matured, flourished with proximity. Bucky found himself fighting hardest against the voices in Clint’s head that told him he wasn’t worth shit, found himself with more and more foundations from which to mount a defence. And eventually they weren’t defences, just truths, murmured closer and closer until lips were pressed against skin.And now he’s turned into the kind of person who can wake up without screaming. The kind of person where a sunny day with a gentle breeze can be all he needs to set him up okay.Bucky shifts a little on the gravel of the rooftop, leans back against Clint’s chest and laughs softly at the sleep rhythm of his breath against the side of Bucky’s neck.He feels like a new man. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Bucky wakes up at 2am to Clint climbing heavily into his bed. He knows it’s Clint ‘cos there’s no one else with those particular callouses - and it’d be a lot easier a life if he hadn’t fuckin’ memorised them - and because he smells like Cheetos and beer. Clint’s slept in his bed before. Once with a concussion of the sort that meant you had to be woken up every hour on the hour, and everyone else in the damn tower had had to go avenge the concussion. Once when they’d been watching Spongebob Squarepants until the sun was practically coming up, and Clint was warm and the tower was cold, and the sugar high made it seem like the best possible option. Once when Clint couldn’t stop dream about killing, about blue, and Bucky had talked him down and talked him lower and talked him into a tentative sleep, and the sore throat had been worth it for the gentle breathing weight in his arms. Clint’s never climbed into his bed before, though. He’s never slept here like this. “Hey Clint,” Bucky says, a little tentative, a little confused. “Hey,” Clint says. “Hey Bucky, hey.” It makes Bucky grin, and there’s still not much that does that. “You okay, pal?” he says, and Clint collapses sloppily into the crook of his neck and grins there, warm and damp. “Can’t wait to marry you,” Clint mumbles, and Bucky stiffens, certain and dreading and knowing he’s heard that wrong. “What?” he says. “M’gonna,” Clint yawns. “Yeah?” Bucky asks, and he can feel the smile growing on his face but that doesn’t mean he has to admit to it. “Yeah,” Clint says. “‘son my to do list.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Clint grunts softly over comms, barely audible, and Bucky takes off running. “Bucky?” Steve yells; his shield flies back to him and he lets the momentum spin him, staring after Bucky like a lost kid. Bucky ignores him. Natasha’s nearby, Tony’s on high, no one’s gonna die without him. No. Someone. Someone might die without him. Clint requested anaesthetic, once, when Bruce was using a needle to get at a splinter. Clint whined for hours one time about stubbing his little toe. Clint decided he couldn’t do anything except sprawl across Bucky and watch cartoons that time he had a bruise the size of a dime on the inside of his thigh.Once things’re safe, once he’s satisfied he doesn’t have to go save anyone’s ass, Clint will bitch and moan and exaggerate a limp - and the second one of the team is in danger he will fight his way off a damn hospital bed to get them safe. “Buck?” Clint says, and his voice is a little strained but not so you’d notice. “Fight’s that-a-way.” Bucky doesn’t have the breath to reply, crashing through the door of the building and running for the stairs, pushing every muscle until he’s burning all over. “Good shot,” Tony says dryly. Steve’s crisp voice, “Hawkeye, are you -” is cut off by Natasha, sharp, scared. “Clint?”Bucky shoves through the roof access and pounds across the rooftop, and Clint’s giving it his best fucking shot - because every shot’s his best fucking shot, that’s Clint, that’s who he is - but he can barely stay upright any more, his grip on his bow failing and his side slick with blood. “Hey,” he says, when Bucky reaches him, and he crashes down onto his knees, placing his bow carefully on the floor with shaking hands. “Sorry.” “Fuck you,” Bucky says, and presses the quickest possible off-center kiss to his wryly upturned lips, heaves him upright and over his shoulder and across the rooftop and down the stairs almost without breathing. (Clint’s still breathing. Clint’s biting back groans with every step, and Bucky hates every tiny almost-hidden noise.)Bruce is in the ‘jet and does what he can with the supplies they have. Clint’s terrifyingly pale and still, and Bucky should return to the fight but it sounds like it’s wrapping up and he can’t move. “I’m, um,” Bruce says, pushing his glasses up and leaving a bloody fingerprint on the lens, “he’ll be fine, I’m fairly sure. The response time was excellent, so he’ll -”He’s interrupted by the team pouring in from outside, and in the chaos Clint’s eyes open, fuzzy for a moment or two but then visibly flickering round in an efficient visual check of their status. Then he catches Bucky’s eye and his mouth tip-tilts up into the tiniest of grins. “Fuckin’ ow,” he says. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- The Soldier heaves in a breath, lets it out in a rush of exasperation and honesty.“He keeps touching me,” he says, and Clint cocks his head to one side. The Soldier glowers at the metal fist his arm has made apparently involuntarily. “He keeps acting like I’m -”“Bucky,” Clint says, and the Soldier’s scowl deepens. “I’m not Bucky,” he says, and Clint shrugs. “Well sure,” he says. “Bucky died.” “I don’t want people to touch me,” the Soldier says, and then moves his hand quickly, outstretched, palm down, hovering close. “But I don’t want you to leave.” He makes it sound… begrudging. He doesn’t mean to make it sound desperate, but it does.“Okay,” Clint says. “So Mario Kart.”They go through three freaking Wiis before the Soldier gets the hang of it. Another six once they unlock Rainbow Road. It’s fine, Tony can afford it, and Clint is enjoying himself immensely. Also learning more Russian swearwords - and, more recently, ‘30s slang - than he will likely ever need.Bucky always plays as Luigi (”He’s the sidekick, right?”) where Clint’s a fan of Princess Peach. Thor joined them once and played as Toad, and all that could be heard was Toad’s wobbly shrieking as one or other of them ran him off the road. ‘cos against each other they’re a storm of swearing and - eventually, slowly, carefully introduced - shoving, but working together they’re a freaking force of nature.And Clint refuses to read into that. He can’t.The Soldier is attending therapy sessions, obviously, and that’s maybe the only time he leaves the sanctity of the Avengers’ living quarters, and Clint kinda hates those times because he has slightly forgotten how to talk to anyone else. But there’s progress there, at least; the Soldier edits his Mii one evening, giving it shorter hair and carefully typing in ‘James’.“Your old you ain’t better,” Clint says, not meaning to be discouraging but needing to say - “just different.” “And Bucky is dead,” the Soldier says, and there’s no anger, no pain, no loss, just consideration. “I think James could be real, though.”It makes sense. It’s a part of him but not one that ever really grew into a personality; it’s a name he can take but common enough not to be taking it from a dead man.“Can I call you James?” Clint asks, navigating carefully around the falling stones of the castle and keeping his eyes determinedly on the screen. “I’d like that,” James says, a little soft, a little uncertain, and it’s worth crashing into lava to catch a sideways look at the smile on his face. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Clint wakes up, heavy headed and dry-mouthed, his face buried in someone’s long hair. There’s an instant of hope that it’s someone he’s picked up, that he’s in Bed-Stuy, that he hadn’t really stumbled his way into - Fuck. His instant, desperate reaction is to want to roll out of bed, leave a lot quieter than he came, to pretend with everything he is that this never happened, that he fucked nothing up. He gets a brief flash of Bucky’s sleepy, confused face, and just prays to hell and all its circles that he didn’t fucking speak. He’d be out of the door right now if he could move, is the thing. He feels a little like he’s on board a ship, and he carefully rolls onto his back and circles his palm over his belly like that’ll do anything to cut down on the nausea. There’s a heavy breath in response to his movement, Bucky arching his back a little, and it’s worth tipping his head and the dizzy that brings to watch the muscles in his back move. “Sorry,” Clint says, grates out, a tiny hint of a groan on the end of it ‘cos his soul hurts. Bucky rolls over, and Bucky Barnes shirtless is a hell of a lot to deal with at this time in the morning. Clint closes his eyes and rests his palm over them. There’s a shift in weight on the mattress and then the barest touch of cool metal against the edge of his jaw. “Not sure I’m ready for marriage, Barton,” he says, and there’s a moment of startling confusion before memories come back, misty and awful, and Clint sucks in a breath and bites down hard on his lip, the rush of saliva in his mouth swallowed down ruthlessly. He will not show weakness right now. He will not throw up. And if it kills him he will not give in to the prickling warmth hidden safely under his hand, ‘cos emotional vulnerability comes along with hangovers and memories of being a big-mouthed dick. “Yeah,” he says. “Sorry about that. I’ll be outta your hair in - just gimme a minute.” “You’re good,” Bucky says, and his voice is casual and a little amused, and Clint really does not know how to deal with this situation at all. “I’m good?” he says. A gentle brush of dry lips against his forehead, and then a rush of breath against the side of his neck. “Put me on the to-do list, Barton,” Bucky says, and bites down gently on his ear. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- The Avengers, they ain’t exactly a tactile bunch save for Clint, but it doesn’t occur to Bucky for a while to wonder if Clint is weird with him. Something about him seems touch starved. He’s a snuggler, whether that’s with people or down inside an oversized sweatshirt; he doesn’t let his limbs hang out, always tangled up close and tucked in. First touch is tentative, every time. Like sounding. Checking the mood before he abandons all fuckin’ conceptions of personal space on the second touch. A brush of fingers, a pause, then his entire freakin’ weight landing in your lap. He’s like a six year old - he’s like someone who never got to be a six year old. He seems to favor Bucky, though. And Bucky - Bucky doesn’t think he’s exactly making a secret of how he feels about Barton. He’s always been a flirt but in this he’s freakin’ shameless, and Clint basically curling up in his lap is something like torture - until it flips over into something that ain’t. Barton slides into the gap Bucky’s left for him, one leg stretched along the back of the couch and the other foot on the floor. And he leans back, sure, but he also takes Bucky’s hands and folds them over his stomach, patting them once he’s got them situated exactly to his liking. And this ain’t buddies. He and Steve’ll hug, and sometimes Natalia will lean, and Thor’s always good for a clasped forearm and a drinking session, but Clint - Bucky, thoughtful, lets his fingers move a little over Clint’s sweater. Idle stroking, at first, that sets Clint back heavier against him, his breathing a little more shallow. He ducks his head in a little closer, like he’s just tryin’ to get more comfortable, and there’s the slightest stretch of Clint’s neck, a tip-tilted invitation that Bucky nuzzles the barest amount into. Feeling daring, feeling like his heart is completely outta place, Bucky gently slides one of his hands under the hem of Clint’s sweatshirt, spreads it wide over the thin barrier of his shirt. Clint arches a little, involuntary, and his ass pushes back just the slightest between Bucky’s legs. “Fuck,” Bucky hisses, soft and breathless and for Clint’s ears only, and then he reaches his free hand up and turns Clint’s jaw, uncomfortable and implacable and into a lopsided, perfect kiss. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Clint jams the heels of his palms into his eyes. They’re burning, aching, straining against the darkness, and he feels kinda like crying but finds himself laughing instead, helpless hopeless giggles bubbling out of him. ‘Cos who needs sleep, right?Another yawn rips through him, cracking his jaw. He feels more of a wreck than he has after missions, every bone of him aching, and his heart is still pounding from his latest sleep attempt. Eventually he just gives up, rolls to his feet, walks to the kitchen in a cloud of grey fog.And the siren call of coffee is pretty fuckin’ strong, but Bucky is on the couch and the tv’s whispering infomercials into the darkness and fuck if that ain’t exactly how he feels.“Hey,” he croaks, and Bucky tips his head back to look at him, then pats his lap like daytime boundaries ain’t even a thing. Clint vaults over the back of the couch and lands awkward, ungainly, wriggling down until he can rest his head on Bucky’s lap. Just bros being bros, just bros tangling their metal fingers in their bro’s sweat-soaked hair, just bros burying their face in their bro’s hard thigh 'cos it’s the only place they really manage to feel safe.Some day he’s gonna give in, there’s an inevitability to it, but he’s pretty sure the reaction won’t be good so he’s holding off. But it’s h- it’s tough, it’s fucking difficult, when Bucky cups darkness over his eyes, tells him to sleep, tells him he’s got him, tells him he’ll be right here. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- There’s an elaborate construction in the living room when Bucky goes in.The teeth of his key are still shiny and new, and he still usually gives a courtesy knock, but it’s been a long three days, with him being interviewed with Natalia and the WSC, and Clint at a corporate retreat of all fuckin’ things. He’s been training little baby SHIELD agents - ‘cos that’s pretty much all they have left - to make their own weapons and survive in the woods, and Bucky has honestly half been expecting a phone call, an alert, something apocalyptic. At least a broken limb, Clint falling out of a tree, something. He does such a good impression of incompetence sometimes that it’s kind of a jolt to remember that he’s a skilled agent, that he’s lethal, that when you take a second to look past the band-aids he’s also hot as all hell. Not that Bucky’s been thinking about starry eyed recruits, nights under the stars, shared cans of mosquito spray…Okay. Tangent. Fuck.There’s an elaborate construction in the living room when Bucky goes in. One end looks like it started out as a pillow fort but swiftly ran out of blankets. There’s a tarp pinned to the kitchen counter with a couple arrows, a bungee cord over the stair rail that’s holding up a corner improbably woven out of clothes, a baseball bat held up with stacks of frozen bruise-peas to hold open the entrance.(Clint has a whole drawer in his freezer for bruise-peas, cos he says he got used to them young and doesn’t like how ice packs feel. It’s the kinda little snippet that Clint lets out sometimes that makes you roll your eyes and then, when it sinks in a little further, want to fuckin’ burn something to the ground.)There’s a jingle of dog tags from somewhere inside the structure and then Lucky races out from inside, knocking down the baseball bat door jamb and rearing up against Bucky, his tail wreaking havoc with the blanket roof.“Aw hell,” a voice says. “Bucky? Nat? Little help?”(Bucky can’t think too hard about the fact that he’s one of only two people trusted with a key. They’re friends, and he’s grateful that they’re friends, and that’s where the train of thought has gotta run out of steam.)“The hell are you up to?” Bucky says, and he can hear the stupid damn smile in Clint’s voice.“Buck! You’re back!”“I texted you all of ten minutes ago,” he says, and the blanket fort projects an air of sheepish.“Yeah, my phone’s in a tree somewhere. Squirrel attack.”Bucky shakes his head and ducks down to greet Lucky, scratching behind his ears before pushing him aside so he can attempt to recreate the entrance to this thing.“You’re kind of an idiot, Barton,” he says, and Clint - somewhere under blankets and tarpaulin and at least three of Bucky’s sweaters - starts laughing.“You don’t know the half of it.”Bucky crawls inside the rickety entrance he’s made. It’s darker than he’d’ve thought, warm and close and a little musty. Clint’s tucked up against the couch-wall with his knees pulled up to his chest, and his eyes gleam in the dimness.“So tell me,” Bucky says. He tries to arrange himself next to Clint but the ceiling’s pitched oddly and he’s got to get right in close, an awkwardness of limbs in the darkness that somehow ends up with Clint’s fingers folded around his and not letting go.“Okay,” Clint says, “story time.”Bucky takes a breath, clint-scented air, and adjusts their hands so they’re entangled more securely. If he has his way, he’s never lettin’ go. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Being vulnerable with someone is a fuckin’ trip.It’s like saying - here is the key to all the doors I keep locked. Here’s a map of all the things that haven’t stopped hurting. Here’s a weapon, perfectly weighted, perfectly calibrated, and I’m trusting you not to kill me.Bucky doesn’t do vulnerable easily. Rarely does vulnerable at all. The life he’s had, it’s armour accreted around him, bulletproof layers of lead-lined skin. And that’s fine so long as the only access route is through a goddamn super soldier, ‘cos Steve’s his Achilles heel and Steve’s practically indestructible.Clint’s a different creature. Clint hands over the maps and the keys and the armoury as soon as smile at you, scored tabletops and smashed plates and still opening his heart like a home. It’s a fixer-upper but Bucky’s finding he’s willing to put in the work, maybe lend some of his bulletproof to prop up the crumbling walls.“Hey, get my ears?” Clint asks him one night, a whole jangling goddamn key ring of trust, and Bucky pauses and cups a hand that could kill him around one cheek.“Hey,” he says, “I love you,” opening the fortress of his mouth and letting slip a key. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Bucky’s hand is fast, unforgiving, just shades the right side of too tight and Clint can’t pull in enough air, gasping almost silently, feeling like he’s gonna die from it.“Ah fuck,” he breathes, “fuck me, fuck me,” and Bucky’s hand loses rhythm a second and Clint flinches from it, ‘cos that’s not what this is. Bucky Barnes has got him some '30s sensibilities, and lending a hand is okay but nothing too queer. Clint has been dreaming about dropping to his knees, about his fingers, about sappier things he’d never admit to in a million years.Rhythm picks up again, brutal, relentless, and it’s too much, it’s too much, Clint can’t fucking -He arches his back on an explosive exhale, nothing so loud it’d be heard outside the two of them, hips jerking helplessly as he spends all over Bucky’s hand.“Gimme,” he pants out, “gimme a second, I’ll -”Bucky presses his face into the crook of his neck the way he does, 'cos for all his time in foxholes, in war, man can’t keep his damn mouth shut. Clint assumes he’s not waiting, reaching down, but he’s diverted when Bucky’s mouth trails up is neck, breath hot and wet and uneven against his jaw.He stills. He presses his head back against the rough brick of the alley wall and tries not to breathe too hard in case something breaks this moment. Breaks this moment of Bucky’s lips resting on the skin just to the left of his mouth, breathing like he’s gonna die there.“Clint.” Barely a word, just a dry-mouthed click, and then Bucky’s lips are against his, clumsy and a little uncertain and every fucking thing he’s been dreaming of. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “I’d say I can explain, but I’m pretty sure that’d be a lie.”Bucky took a second, just to breathe, then swung his other leg across the window sill. Clint was standing with his hands spread a little from his sides, automatic defensive mode, his head ducked down submissively. In the corner Lucky was curled up with something (currently) small and sharp-toothed and fluffy, something that was emphatically not a dog.“So when Steve said alien,” Bucky said, slowly, “when Steve said ‘gone missing from SHIELD’,” Clint was nodding along, chewing on his lip all awkwardly adorable, “when Steve said potentially lethal - ”“Aw, no!” Clint said, head coming up protectively. “No, he’s not lethal, he’s just - he’s a little crabby.”“How many band-aids since this morning, Clint?”He snorted dismissively. “Like, seven. At most. And one of the smallest gauze patches.”Bucky strode over to him and Clint submitted to the examination, grouching under his breath but still winding up leaning against Bucky’s chest as he ruffled his fingers through Clint’s hair, half looking for dried blood and half just for the contact. Ended like it always did, Bucky wrapping his arms around Clint’s shoulders and swaying back and forth a little.“Okay,” he said, without waiting for Clint to ask, “we can keep it. Until it outgrows a dog bed.” Clint knocked his forehead against Bucky’s jaw, mouth curving against his neck. Bucky sighed. “You’re sure it’s not gonna kill us both?”“Promise,” Clint said. “I confiscated its guns.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- It’d been three months since he’d seen Clint. He looked a little thinner, maybe. Tired. Still just about broke Bucky’s heart to look at him. They walked side by side through the industrial area, grey concrete and matching metal doors. “Sorry for dragging you out of your way,” Clint said, breaking the silence that was easier than it had any right to be. “Anything for you,” Bucky said, and the flippant got a little lost in translation. Clint looked away, rubbed the back of his neck, awkward and uncomfortable and still so fucking familiar that it hurt. It was a relief to finally hit the right door, to fumble out his key and push inside. The locker was full of all sorts of shit he’d picked up over the years. It wasn’t a place to impress, didn’t have the antiques or the valuables, it was more like a junk shop. Bits and pieces that’d caught his eye over the years, that he wanted to keep safe, that he wanted to keep. Near the door was a cardboard box, carefully taped closed and labelled ‘Clint’.“You don’t even wonder why I need this kinda stash?” Bucky’s voice was a little harsh, a challenge that came from the part that felt scrubbed raw, peeled back, felt Clint’s mere presence like sandpaper against his nerves. Clint rubbed a hand across his face, letting out a long breath once he was done. “Buck,” he said. “I know who you are.” He shrugged, jerked his head in an awkward movement. “Avenger.” Bucky barked out a laugh. “And you came anyway?”Clint shrugged. “I knew you wouldn’t hurt me. Trust was never the problem.” That was - too much. Bucky turned away, poked at a rug that he didn’t remember buying, much less stashing in here. The movement unbalanced it, tilted it towards the floor, where it hit with an unnaturally heavy thump. From the look on his face, Bucky could tell Clint knew what that meant, had identified the dark stains, knew exactly what was in there. The words all stumbled over each other in their rush to get out first. I’m sorry and I didn’t - and I swear, Clint, this wasn’t me. “Fuck,” Clint said, before any of them could make their way out. “Who’ve you pissed off lately?” Bucky blinked. “What?”Clint gestured to the dead guy on the floor, remarkably casually considering. “Well someone’s tryin’ to stitch you up, right?”“Fuck, Clint,” Bucky breathed, and it was fucking appalling etiquette, it was probably the biggest mistake he’d ever make, but he couldn’t help but step forward anyway, couldn’t help but push into a kiss. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Fight me, you attractive stranger!”“Steve?” Bucky says, a little hopelessly; his partner’s over by the bar, notebook flipped open and completely disregarded as he blushes at the bartender with the gorgeous gap-toothed smile. The guy swaying a little in front of him has a pretty great grin himself. He’s got a black eye coming up, sticking plaster across the bridge of his nose, and his fists are raised and loosely clenched. He kinda looks like he could take Bucky, which is rare, but only if someone drip-fed him caffeine first. “Sir,” Bucky says, which never comes out sounding as genuine as Stevie manages, “I think you need to sit down.” “Make me,” he says, and grins again, beckoning like he’s in the damn Matrix. A woman in a nearby booth kicks her heels off the table and gets smoothly to her feet, coming over to push the guy’s fists down and scrubbing a hand affectionately through his hair. Bucky scowls at her. “Being arrested after a bar fight will go down no better than the real story,” she tells him. “Besides which, you suck at lying.” “Fuck you I’m great at everything,” he says, and then giggles a little, staggering sideways to lean - annoyingly attractively, considering the state of him - against the corner of the booth. “You are great at one thing, Clint,” the woman says. “Perhaps two, on a good day.” “I’m amazing,” he protests. “It’s right there in the name.”“The amazing Clint?” Bucky asks, arching a sceptical eyebrow. “The amazing Hawkguy.” Clint says, then frowns. “No, wait. Eye.” “You?”“Me,” Clint says. It’s a little easier to mistake him for sober, leaning the way he is, stable against the wall of the booth and giving Bucky a lingering look. He’s got a surprisingly sharp look, for someone who can barely stand up straight. “I’d like to report a crime, officer.” “Yeah?”“You’ve stolen my -” He’s cut off by his friend smacking the back of his head, and she rolls her eyes at Bucky. “That is not one of the two things,” she says. “Now come, Clint. Let’s go tell Katie-Kate about the kitten -”“I rescued,” Clint says, eyes flicking to Bucky, a pleading kinda look on his face. “ - that chased you out of a tree.” Bucky snorts, mouth curving up in a smile, and Clint - who’d been almost steady for a moment there - walks into a chair. “Aaw, chair,” he says, and looks so endearingly betrayed that Bucky scribbles something down, tears the page out of his notebook. He hands it to Clint’s friend, as the safer - or at least, more sober - option. “In case he wants to press charges,” he says, feeling his cheeks flushing under her amused regard. “For the theft.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Sometimes - usually when he’s sitting alone in a dark room, somewhere with the TV muttering quietly in the background - Clint is not horribly aware that he is fucking up. The circumstances have got to be pretty specific: no to-do list, no external expectations, no unanswered texts, no paperwork due. He’s gotta have his ears in so he can hear his phone if it rings, and he’s got to not quite remember it’s on silent so he doesn’t have to. If he’s doing something borderline useful at the same time - inventory on arrows, grocery shopping online - he can almost (almost) relax guilt-free. The rest of life, it’s a low-grade sick-feeling in his stomach, the knowledge that everything he’s doing is probably not good enough, where it’s not completely wrong. When he actually fucks up, when it’s tangible, it’s actually kinda comforting, even when his stomach is churning ‘cos of Steve’s disappointed looks. At least he knows, trusts, the ground that he’s standing on; praise always feels kinda like lies. The only exception, the one thing, is his bow. It’s his own kinda zen. He’s the best at it, and he knows this, and maybe that’s a little why the paleolithic weapon with the wood and the string. ‘cos who’s gonna be trying to compete? He pulls back the string, muscles straining, mind completely focused, and he feels the perfection of peace. (Of all the worst fucking things about Loki, the ice blue perfect peace hurt the most.)So of course he spent a fair few weeks avoiding Bucky, especially when Bucky remembered who Bucky was. Especially when he started smiling his crooked sideways smile, when he shouted laughing insults at Steve, ‘cos his face set Clint’s stomach to stumbling worse than usual and there was no way that any word would be right. Except sometimes, sometimes there’d be the dark room, and the TV muttering, and Clint wouldn’t be alone when he was answering unimportant emails, or grammar checking Wanda’s reports. Sometimes there’d be another pair of eyes gleaming in the barest TV light, and there wasn’t anything for Clint to fuck up besides being present, and that was something he could always do. First time he spoke to him Clint froze immediately after, but the language of mocking infomercials was universal, and Bucky’s dry humor did a good job of matching his. It was easier after that. Things settled back into the usual routine of vague existential dread. Bucky was like Natasha - he slapped Clint upside the head when he fucked up, and never told him he was doing a good job but thanked him for the one he was doing, which was comforting and exactly as much as Clint could deal with. He almost let the fear go enough that he could forget what Bucky’s smiles did to his insides, but every now and again he’d look up and it’d feel like he was falling. He’d always assumed people pictured the falling part of in love like it was a plummet into pillows; to him it felt like a parachute-less drop. But hell, he’d survived those before. Bucky edged nearer, on the nights when the dreams wouldn’t stop. Close enough that Clint’s usefulness could be his hand in Bucky’s hair, untangling and easing and soothing him into something like sleep. It felt like something he was doing right, finally, and he’d almost forgotten about fucking up on the night Bucky sat down close to him, breathed out hard against his neck. “You scare the shit out of me, Barton,” he said, soft against his skin, and it made Clint laugh enough that there was no time for fear, just the stomach-swooping dip of adrenaline as Bucky pressed their mouths together, a moment’s perfection of nothing like peace. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Just - just fuck off. I mean it.” Clint didn’t even sound angry any more, he just sounded sad, tired, worn down, and it was so much worse. Bucky leaned back against the kitchen counter and let his feet skid across the laminate floor, slid down until he was sitting. His suit probably cost more than this fucking apartment. The car outside certainly did, the one that barely fit the two guys in the back seat with their matching suits and earpieces and shoulder holsters. “I wish you didn’t,” Bucky said. “Yeah, well, if wishes were horses -”“Promise not to offer to buy you any more ponies,” he offered, and Clint’s mouth hitched up a little. “Forget it,” he said. “You fucking suck.” “Thought that was one of the things you liked best about me,” Bucky said, tipped his head back against scarred wood and tried to ignore the burning in his eyes. “Can you just - forget I even fucking asked?”“But you keep asking, Buck,” Clint said. “You keep pushing. I don’t think you have any clue what you do to me.” Bucky laughed, helpless, felt warmth run from the corner of his eye. He hitched up his knees, scrubbed his hands over his face, cleared his throat. “Always kinda hoped it was something like what you do to me,” he said, “‘cos I think I’ve forgotten how to live without you.” “You’ve had plenty of practice.” “I had some stuff to sort out. It’s just -”“Business,” Clint finished flatly. “It’s always business. Fuck’s sake, what’s your problem? I’m a fucking Avenger, I can’t - I can’t be around you, I can’t square how I feel with what you do.” “Great,” Bucky said, speaking somehow around the fist-sized lump in his throat. “Perfect. Nice. Fuck this.” He pushed himself to his feet, feeling like every bone of him was protesting. “Guess that’s all there is to say.”“You’re leaving?” Clint asked, and there was a little note of protest in his voice that was like a blade sharp enough not even to hurt going in, one you knew would kill you as soon as it was gone. “The, ah.” He gritted his teeth for a second. “The FBI are waiting. They’re not exactly the most patient. Bye, Clint.” “The… Bucky?” Clint sounded fucking wrecked. Bucky kept walking. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Rise and shine, sweet thing.”“You keep talking to the coffee machine like that, I’m gonna get jealous.”Clint grinned as hands slipped around his waist, sliding under his sleeveless shirt, both of them sleep warm and gentle with it. He leaned back against Bucky’s chest, leaving the coffee machine unfiltered for now, and greater love hath no man than that.“Aw, you want me to be sweet to you, Bucky Barnes?”“No,” Bucky said, stubble scraping against the sensitive skin right behind his ear. Clint shivered a little, obligingly tipped forward to allow greater access, was rewarded with the kind of sucking kiss to the nape of his neck that wasn’t far off a bite.“See, I think you’re lying,” Clint said, swore softly at the warning hint of teeth. He turned, caught Bucky’s eyes, the unguarded way he was looking at him. “I think you want me to call you shnookums - ”“Stop.”“ - and pooh-bear - ”“I will kill you.”“ - and baby.”Silence. Silence that was kinda lengthy, and telling, and somehow pink-tinged.“Huh,” Clint said. “Really.”“No,” Bucky said again, but it was just about as convincing as the last one, mulish and embarrassed and no sorta discouragement to a kiss. The good sorta kiss, the one like slow morning sunlight, like stretching back into yourself, fingers still tangled in the best kind of dream. Bucky was rocking a little against him by the end of it, and Clint lowered himself to his knees.“Clint - ” Bucky said, and Clint happily nuzzled into the palm cupped around his cheek.“Hey, baby, I’ve got you,” he said, and the little noise in the back of Bucky’s throat was sweeter than any pet name could ever be. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “It’s just a cut, really.”Bucky stayed where he was, pressed against the opposite wall, arms folded tightly across his bare chest.“I can’t do this if I’m gonna hurt you,” he said, and his voice was 100% genuine and stressed as all hell, and that was the only reason Clint managed to suppress the urge to roll his eyes.“This is not hurt, this is just - ” he gestured, vaguely. “This is just life. All my friends hurt me.”“And that doesn’t concern you?” Bucky asked, a muscle twitching in his jaw.“Don’t with the patterns and cycles, okay, my therapist already went there and we mutually agreed that I don’t seek out pain, I’m just really annoying and kinda klutzy.”“Not annoying,” Bucky insisted, which made Clint want to melt into a pile of goop.“One time,” he said, “I ended up with a hand shaped bruise around my ankle ‘cos Tony dangled me off a balcony to stop me singing the first three lines of Saturday Night Fever.”“How long had you -”“I think… two days? And Steve, he kinda forgot that my ability to throw the shield said not a thing about catching it. Hulk’s just - Hulk, don’t ever tell him he hurt me, and Thor bruised my ribs hugging me after too many meads. It comes with the territory,” he said.“You’re not the only human - ”“And Tasha’s knocked me out, stabbed me, shot me, tased me, pushed me out of a window, stolen my pizza and made fun of my hair,” Clint said. “What’s your point?”“My point is I don’t want to hurt you,” Bucky said, stubborn as hell, and Clint palmed the back of his neck and looked up at him.“Honest to god, Buck, it’s gonna hurt way worse if you walk away.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Pipe the fuck down, asshole.”“Fuck you,” came the cheerful reply. “Be grateful I don’t have a harmonica.”“You play it any better than your singing?”“Nah. Mostly I just breathe through it like an asthmatic concertina. Also, fuck you, I sing like a bird.”“A turkey, maybe,” Bucky said, and kicked a chip of worn stone through the bars, listening to the clatter and waiting for some kinda response.It wasn’t what he expected - another tiny chip of stone clattered, bounced and - perfectly judged - smacked straight into his knee.“Ow, asshole!”“Oh I’m sorry,” the guy said - Hawkeye, this mission was the first time Bucky’d met him, and already they were getting on like domestic arson. Bucky had lied, he had a voice that was pretty nice to listen to, even with that smugly sarcastic tone.“Okay,” he said. “Truce.”“Truce?” Hawkeye asked, sounding wary, and Bucky shoved his arm through the bars and bent it as best he could, muscles protesting as Clint audibly shuffled over, reached out to shake his finger warily. “Okay. Truce.”It was good to know they could touch. It was good to know in the middle of the second night when Clint’s hearing aids died, and all Bucky could do was reach out to wrap his fingers around Clint’s shaking hand. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Yeah,” Bucky said, rolling his eyes. “Zero fucks given. Next please.”Steve stared between his face and the tablet, visibly struggling for composure.“But -” he said. “But she’s wearing a little jacket. She brings you things when you’re sad!”“I don’t get sad, Steve,” he said, patient as possible, “I get freaked out, I get pissed, occasionally I get both pissed and freaked out. I don’t need a dog to bring me shit, I need a dog to keep me focused, bring me back to Earth. Something that’d make me safe to be in public. That one I’d accidentally tread on.”“Okay,” Steve said, the furrow that said he was concentrating hard appearing between his brows. “Okay so something bigger, something - ”“Less floofy,” Bucky said, flicking past something that looked more like a teddy bear than a dog.“How about this one?”The dog on the screen was big, friendly looking, beaming with its tongue hanging out and its one eye half-closed with the size of its smile. Draped half across him was a blond guy, scruffy and barely shaved and with the bluest eyes Bucky’d ever seen.“Says Lucky’s owner works away a lot, he’s a fully trained therapy dog, this Clint guy’s looking for someone to walk Lucky and in exchange he’s willing to lend him for bad days, says you can come pick him up with a couple hours warning.”“I get to pick up the owner, too?” Bucky asked, and Steve rolled his eyes.“Okay,” he said, “next -”“Nah, wait,” Bucky said, flicked back and took a longer look at the matching grins on dog and man, and decided he could afford to give a few fucks. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Bucky slipped through the window from the fire escape and dripped on the floor, shaking his soaking hair back impatiently. Lucky barked in welcome and Clint startled awake on the couch, his mouth automatically spreading into a welcoming grin.“Holy crap,” he said, “you fall off a bridge?”Thunder growled just as he finished talking, the wind splattering rain through the window, and Bucky shivered a little, involuntary. Clint pushed up to his feet, unsteady as he reached for one of his crutches, then limped over, grabbing a towel from an unsteady pile of laundry on the bar stool.“You should be sitting,” Bucky said, knowing it was pointless; Clint was a worse patient even than Steve, not for the bitching but for the complete refusal to adjust his life around what was wrong. Mostly that was fine, for the parts of his life that included Dog Cops and sprawling on the couch; it was the times when he found him hanging off the fire escape and attempting to adjust someone’s satellite dish with a broken arm, that was when Bucky worried.Clint’s only response was to toss the towel over Bucky’s head, to which Bucky submitted with an uneasy kinda grace. It probably said something fairly important about trust, that he was willing to allow himself to be blinded like that, but Bucky wasn’t ready to examine that.Nimble fingers set themselves about Bucky’s jacket, the splinted fingers on the right something of a hindrance, but eventually it was pulled free, tossed onto the counter to drip sadly onto the linoleum. Bucky attempted to start drying his hair, but his hands were pushed down every time he tried to move so he just tossed his head until the towel fell off onto his shoulders instead. He wanted to appreciate the look of fond attention on Clint’s face. He liked looking at Clint’s face.Clint looked up and caught him looking, and there was that moment - there was always that moment - where his eyes flashed surprise, before his mouth curved into a pleased grin. Bucky leaned forward and pressed his mouth to it, perfect fit. Clint stepped in a little closer, apparently uncaring that Bucky was soaked right through to the skin and turning his shirt dark with rainwater, and Bucky deepened the kiss to the familiar soundtrack of a summer storm. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- There was a low wolf-whistle from behind him. Bucky looked up at the mirror to see that Clint was finally awake, sprawled in the bed with the sheets slipping low and looking like an invitation to sin.“Mornin’,” Bucky said, low and warm, and Clint grinned slowly.“Barely,” he said. “C'mon back over here.”Bucky snorted and grabbed the tie off the beanbag chair where he’d piled his outfit the night before, wrapping it around his neck with a gentle hiss of silk.“Some of us,” he said, “have award ceremonies to get to.”“Aw,” Clint said, “suits. Not even an ounce of envy in me.”“Shame,” Bucky told him, “‘cos you look pretty fuckin’ spectacular when you’re half way out of one.”“Figure you’d look better.” Clint stretched, slow, every muscle flexing, sheet sliding lower until it barely flirted with decency. Bucky’s mouth went dry, and the smirk on Clint’s face said he knew it.“You got a spare suit that’ll fit me?” Bucky asked, hot eyes trained on Clint’s in the mirror, 'cos if he turned around right now there was no way he’d be responsible for his actions.Clint snorted. “I look like the spare suit type?”Bucky spun around, walked over to the bed, bent down to lay a kiss on Clint. It started out within his control, slow and hot and setting Clint to gasping, but it soon spiralled the way it always did with them. Bucky was left just as breathless when he finally pulled away.“Then save it,” he said. “I’ll be back for you.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Clint woke and Bucky was there. He couldn’t see him, not yet, ‘cos the pain in his skull was giving him a little trouble with lifting his head, but he knew the ice of Bucky’s anger and how it sucked away all his voice’s familiar warmth, and right now he felt viciously grateful for it. “I’ll kill you,” Bucky said, not as a threat but more a prediction of the future, a statement of how the future would be. “If you touch him again I will kill you.” “I’m sure that’s true.” The voice was unfamiliar, European, cool and emotionless. “But he will, of course, still be dead. And I will have my revenge.” The noise that tore out of Bucky’s throat was nothing like a word: not so much growl as yell, not so much yell as the hopeless grinding scream of stressed metal, twisting beyond recognition. “For what? I don’t know you.” “And that is, perhaps, the world’s greatest injustice.” Clint finally forced his head up, swallowed hard against the urge to vomit. He blinked dark spots out of his eyes and then they went instantly to Bucky, to the violence in every line of him, to the stress and the anger and the fear on his face. “Buck?” Clint said, rasped, and Bucky let out a soft helpless noise that had no place in the warehouse, a sound of surrender. “I’ll do what you want,” he said, and Clint jerked a little against the metal that held him, involuntary denial. “No,” he said, and his voice was coming a little clearer now. “No, what the fuck, Bucky, like hell you will.” “I agree to whatever demands you got,” Bucky said, flat-voiced and hopeless, and it was a strange sort of declaration of love but there was no way to frame it any way else. The clatter of Bucky’s gun on the floor was louder than Clint could handle, he couldn’t help but flinch from it, and the gut-punch fierce joy he felt when his flinch showed him Natasha’s lithe form, sneaking up… The fight was vicious, and bloody, and short, and Clint honestly only got shot a little. He dropped to the floor faster than anyone could stop him when the cuffs were released, and sat there on his ass with a stupid grin on his face. “How hard, exactly, did he get hit?” Natasha asked, curious but not too worried, because Clint collected concussions like Bucky collected throwing knives and they knew precisely the warning signs. Bucky ignored her, dropped to his knees beside Clint, and wrapped himself around him like a second skin, like he would never ever let go. Clint pressed a kiss to his hair, felt the fine tremble running through him. “Hey,” he said, almost too soft to hear. “Me too.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “So I thought you’d - I dunno, call, or - ” “I don’t have a phone.” “ - stop by maybe, but - ” “You got any clue how much my movements are restricted in this damned tower?” “ - I mean it’s not like I don’t know how to take a hint.” “Yeah, no, you’re a fuckin’ idiot. No, don’t - not the face, Clint, Jesus. You’re a fuckin’ idiot if you think I don’t - ” “You want - ?” “How much more obvious have I gotta be, here?” “I dunno, I could stand a little - ” … “Like that?” “Yeah. Oh, fuck, yeah.” * Next morning, Clint wakes to an empty bed. Again. And he curses himself for a fool for as long as it takes to pull a shirt on, to pad out into the kitchen, and then he can’t stop himself from grinning like an idiot. There’s a note stuck to the refrigerator with the robot magnet Clint bought Tony in Prague. //tony - Either get me a damn phone, unrestrict my access, or accept I’m gonna fuck your marksman in the kitchen B// ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “'Scuse me,” Clint said, hooking his fingers into the collar of Bucky’s jacket and hauling him away from Steve, “I need to borrow this a sec.” “Sure,” Steve said, annoyed and kinda pissy, “'cos it’s not like anyone needs to debrief him or anything,” but Clint wasn’t really listening. Hadn’t really been listening to anything much since the sound of an explosion had ripped through the comms. Hadn’t been listening to anything - 'cos nothing would ever be as important - since he heard Tony crowing. “Fuck you, Elsa, we thought you were dead!” “Slow down, tiger,” Bucky said, half laughing, circling his fingers around Clint’s wrist. “I’m not goin’ anywhere.” Clint grabbed his wrist, broke his hold, spun him around so he was pressed face first against the wall with his arm twisted behind his back. “Fuck you,” he said, and his tone was a little different to Tony’s. “I thought you were dead.” Bucky didn’t push back against his hold, didn’t move at all. “I’m okay,” he said, and Clint - who up until this point had been pretty convinced what he was feeling was anger - surprised himself with a small hiccuping inward breath that was almost a sob. “Fuck,” he said, “fuck, I thought you were - ” he let go Bucky’s arm, wrapped both arms around him instead, holding him close and feeling him breathe. Bucky tried to loosen his hold, tried to turn around, but Clint wasn’t anywhere close to ready for anyone to see his face. Bucky twisted his head awkwardly, instead, pressed a firm kiss against Clint’s temple. “Not goin’ anywhere,” he said softly. “Promise?” Clint asked, and yeah, it was a little pathetic, but Bucky didn’t laugh at him for it, just carefully plucked at Clint’s fingers - tightly wrapped against him, determined not to let go - until he could wrap his pinkie around Clint’s. “Promise,” he said. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Bucky looks down into a pouting face, into big blue eyes that’re shimmering with welling tears, and reaches out helplessly to cup the soft cheek in his hand. “Goddammit, Clint, you don’t play fair.” “Never claimed to,” he says, and Es wiggles a little against his chest, reaching out for Bucky. He swears softly, under his breath, and plucks her out of Clint’s arms, settling her carefully against his chest. His outfit ain’t exactly made for this, but he’s about as able to resist her as he is her daddy, and the realisation he’s gonna be late - well, that’s nothin’ new. “Can’t go without a goodbye kiss,” Clint says, a little smug, and when Bucky presses his mouth to her soft head, her fine, baby-soft hair, Clint turns away and goes for his coffee mug like Bucky’s gonna let him escape this. “Hey,” he says, soft as he can manage, and balances Es carefully as he ducks in when Clint turns, presses his mouth against Clint’s lips, same lips he can’t resist coming back to over and over, even with all the impossible complications that come with it. Like Es, shrieking at being ignored, wrapping her tiny fingers into his hair and tugging. “Aw, baby, no,” Clint says, and pulls away to help him detangle himself, setting Es in her high chair and pulling Bucky back in for one final, final kiss. “You get I like this just about as much as you do, right?” Bucky asks, and Clint’s inability to hold his stare says as much as it needs to. “Hey,” he says, “Clint - ““Go save the world,” Clint says, with a halfway there smile. “Just - come back, okay?” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- The first thing Bucky’s consciously aware of is the fingers tangling carefully through his hair, which’s gotta be a challenge, ‘cos he knows there’s blood sticking it to his scalp in more’n one place but the fingers are endlessly careful, pulling not at all. It’s all he can do to lift his head enough to rest it on Clint’s thigh, curling his arm - the metal one, the one that still works - around Clint’s leg. “Hey, darlin’,” Clint says, and his voice is warm enough in the darkness that it’d be easy to pretend they were at home, if Bucky was a little more out of it. If he could mistake the cold concrete for the ugly-ass laminate Clint’s never gotten around to replacing. “F’ckin asshole,” he mumbles, and Clint has the nerve to laugh. “Shouldn’t’ve -”“Like you wouldn’t,” Clint says, and it’s a fair point but it doesn’t make it any better. “They’re gonna kill you,” Bucky insists, a little more coherent every minute they stay like this, and Clint’s hand stills in his hair. “Yeah,” he says. “I figured.”“So why’d -”“Loving you is a real pain in the ass, Barnes,” Clint says, resigned, amused, like he’s complaining about Bucky snoring, about him leaving his towels on the floor, rather than his tendency to get kidnapped and regularly threatened with death. “Like I’ve got it easy,” Bucky says, and he hauls himself as high as he can get, head thumping, so he can slump a little further into Clint’s side. Trying to reach his face at this point is an exercise in futility, so he grabs for his hand instead, presses his mouth to the scarred knuckles. “Wish you hadn’t come,” he says, low and heartfelt. “So fuckin’ grateful you’re here.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Bucky’s first kiss is with Patty Connell, grinning and scuffed up and with his tooth loose from fighting, her with her hair scraped back and dressed up for church. Stevie doesn’t like her ‘cos she steals the funny pages from the papers on the news stand; Bucky likes the way her freckled nose wrinkles when she smiles. It’s not all that much of anything, quick warm pressure that leaves her red like a tomato, and he honestly can’t see what the fuss is about. Bucky’s first kiss is with Tommy Baker, the both of them going at it like it’s a fist fight, hard and brutal and fueled by adrenaline and fear. His first kiss smells like the trash in the alley and the heat of summer and fresh sweat, and tastes like freedom and Wrigley’s gum. Bucky lurches backwards when he hears Stevie calling him, wipes his arm across his mouth like that’ll change anything, change the way he feels when he sees Tommy - brown hair flopping over his forehead, bright blue eyes panicked - sprawled out against the wall like that. He doesn’t say anything. He walks away. Two days later he asks out Mary-Beth from the corner shop, takes her dancing. What else is he gonna do?Bucky’s first kiss, shivered awake and all brand new, is with Clinton Francis Barton, part time Avenger and regular human disaster. Clint can’t stop laughing at the show on the TV, and he turns to share his grin with Bucky and Bucky dives in, just like that. Just like he’s been wanting for the longest time. Clint doesn’t kiss like Patty, and he doesn’t kiss like Tommy, and he doesn’t kiss like any of the other patched up memories that Bucky barely knows. Clint kisses like they’ve been doing this forever, like they’re gonna do it forever forward, like it’s the first in a long goddamn line. Clint kisses like no kinda first Bucky’s ever had, and Bucky kisses him back like no one’s ever gonna have a first with him again. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- It feels kinda impossible that no one can see him, not with the way the ballroom’s bright light is bleeding out into the darkness, and there’s a weird sort of power in the confidence that he’s invisible. He’d think it was a holdover from the Soldier, but there’s a reason he became a sniper, and the shadowed balcony suits him better than the bustle inside. He leans his elbows back against the balustrade and watches the world through glass panes. It’s a riot of tuxes and evening gowns, a whirl of color where there’s dancers, and he seeks them out without thinking. A flash of red hair and a form-fitting black dress, slit up to the thigh so it doesn’t restrict an inch of movement. Natalia’s dancing with Wilson, and he’s wise enough to look a little dazed with it, gap-toothed grin wide as his wingspan. Steve’s nearby, every inch the upright soldier, looking just about perfect in his tailored tux. He’s bending to listen to some old girl in swoops of pearls, and the look on her face says she’s gonna pinch his ass in less than a minute. The look on Tony’s face tells Bucky he’s the one that suggested it. He’s wearing a tux too, perfectly proper, but his sneakers are red with detailing in gold, and he’s got a stupid pair of red specs like that mutant with the stick up his ass. He’s grinning into a glass of champagne, making eye contact with the little witch, who’s dressed in emerald green and surrounded by admirers. Usually Barton’d be there by her side, acting the older brother with folded arms and a heavy scowl, but instead he’s found - somewhere - the only kids at the party. He’s surrounded in a corner, showing them how to fold cocktail napkins into perfect paper darts, and Bucky’s been resisting looking at him enough all evening to finally give way and indulge himself now. Clint doesn’t suit a tux. It’s tailored to perfection, ‘cos Tony wouldn’t allow for anything less, but he’s discarded the jacket somewhere and his tie’s all pulled to one side. Even as Bucky’s watching he fumbles out of his cuff-links, puts them down unregarded on a side table and rolls up his sleeves. Strong tanned forearms that make Bucky’s mouth go dry, and his cummerbund pressing against a body hard with muscle, and unintentionally tousled hair pushed every which way. It’s like Bucky’s own particular hell, one he’s halfway grateful to suffer in, ‘cos Clint is pulling off his bow-tie now and the line of his throat is good intentions all the way down. Bucky scrubs a hand over his face, and when he looks up Clint’s sharp eyes have caught his. He has no idea what Clint sees on his face, but his mouth curls up into a sideways sort of smile and he says something to the kids, sending them scrambling with a salute, before heading right for the balcony and slipping outside. “Been looking for you,” he says, coming to lean beside Bucky, who snorts out a laugh. “Bullshit.” Clint laughs softly, warm in the darkness, and rocks into his side. “Always looking for you,” he says. “Can’t help it, when you’re the prettiest thing in the room.” Bucky snorts again, but it doesn’t stop a stupid schoolboy flush from climbing into his cheeks. “You always this smooth, Barton?” “Never,” he says, “not ever, not with anyone but you,” and that’s about all Bucky can take. He pushes away from the balcony wall and grabs Clint by the hand, spinning him around until he’s pressed by the wall to the side of the door, tucked into the safest place Bucky knows right now. Bucky hunches his shoulders, protective, and brings his hands up to thread into Clint’s messed-up hair, staring into his eyes for a second before dropping them to his lips. Clint’s tongue slides out, pink and wet, and Bucky groans before leaning forward to taste it, to taste him, to do his best to make up for the words that he lost somewhere along the way. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- [Sequel, of course, to this]Bucky won’t lie, he’d been kinda hoping to hear from the hot drunk guy. Steve had got a phone call - in the morning, first thing - and for that Bucky’s inclined to like Sam, inclined to give him a chance not to break Stevie’s heart. Him, though? Nada. Another guy who’d sobered up and balked at the prospect of dating a cop. Whatever, he’s used to it, it barely even stings. So when Steve tells him that Sam’s called, that there’s some kinda disturbance, Bucky’s barely even thinking about Clint when they walk through the door of the bar. Seeing him sprawled against the wall with a dishtowel held to his arm is more of a kick in the teeth than he’d expected. “You’ve called the paramedics?” Steve is asking Sam, but Bucky goes straight to Clint, squats next to him and hovers worried fingers over the towel. “You okay?” “Oh, sure,” Clint says, and he gives a rueful kinda grin. “I’m used to it.” “Used to getting stabbed?” “Sure,” Clint says, and he lets out a laughing breath that suggests he’s been drinking again, and maybe Bucky is better off outta this after all. “Can you describe the girl who - ““Stabbed me? Course. She was - not very friendly.” Bucky snorts under his breath quite without meaning to, and Clint’s eyes crinkle into an unrepentant grin. “I could tell you all about her over coffee, if you want,” he says, and Bucky’s eyes snap to his, a little incredulous. “Just you, me, a police sketch artist - pretty romantic, right?” “…You’re asking me out?” “For all intensive purposes, sure.” “Intents,” Bucky says, and clears his throat when Clint looks at him sidelong. “Intents and purposes, y’know, like loitering with - ?” “I got intent,” Clint says, and suddenly his eyes are dark, and he’s looking about ten times more sober, and a line of heat traces itself down Bucky’s spine. “I’ve got so much intent when it comes to you, you have no idea.” “Yeah,” Bucky drawled, flipping a page in his notebook like that would make him look nonchalant, “I could tell that from how hard you tried to contact me.” “Would you believe Tasha was trying to protect our secret identities?” Clint watched his face, blew out a breath and continued before Bucky could speak. “Yeah, I thought not. No one ever goes for that. She’s - protective?” “I’m a cop,” Bucky says. “I get that the press ain’t exactly kind, but that’s not character reference enough for you?” “I’m not exactly known for making great decisions,” Clint says, and shrugs his arm a little like gettin’ stabbed is some kinda proof. “I’m a fantastic decision,” Bucky says. “Wanna make it with me?” It’s worth it, the awfulness of the line, for the way a laugh looks in the lines of Clint’s face. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Oh fuck,” Clint says, beer-drenched and squinting at the TV’s clock, “brace yourself.”“Brace myself for wha-” “GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP!”Bucky leaps off the couch, whirls around, almost overbalances but manages not to spill a drop of his beer. Fury’s nowhere to be seen, not that that means much, but - “What,” he says, “the fuck was th-”“GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP!”Clint’s helpless on the couch, practically crying with laughter, one arm wrapped across his belly and the other across his eyes. “Ow,” he manages, “oh shit, sorry, ow, fuck,” and dissolves into another hysterical bout of laughter while Bucky -“GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP!”- glowers at him. “Friday,” Clint says, pants, hitching and uneven from his laughing, “c’mon dude, Tony’s been in bed hours now.”“And Captain Rogers -”“GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP!” “ - insisted I remind you of the early press conference tomorrow morning that you are both required to be shaved for.” “Right,” Clint says, and makes a hilarious face, makes him look like he’s just graduated pre-school. “Press.” He extends a pathetic hand, wiggling his fingers until Bucky rolls his eyes and grabs it, hauling him to his feet. Clint overbalances a little and staggers into Bucky’s chest. “You couldn’t have warned me?” Bucky says, and Clint’s slow grin says a lot about that. “Coulda,” Clint says, and his mouth is wobbling a little. “But your face.” “Fuck you,” Bucky says, and they’re still in the pre-stages, the when stages, the stages where that gets him a bitten lip and a rising flush but not quite Clint’s lips against his. Nah, that comes later. That comes a couple days later, rain-drenched and grinning. And it’s maybe a week after that that Clint blinks awake, heavy-eyed and sun-warm and filled with a warm slow satisfaction, and the first thing he sees is Bucky’s gentle smile. “Hey,” he murmurs, cupping Clint’s cheek. “Brace yourself.” “Wha-”“RISE AND FUCKING SHINE, MOTHERFUCKER!”Clint shrieks, and falls out of bed. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- The rules of shotgun are long-winded and complex, because Tony will cheat given half an inch of leeway and Steve gets carsick in the back seat. However, there are definitely enough Avengers for more than one car, and they can’t always have a driver, so it goes a little like this:Bucky and Clint call pre-emptive shotgun the second a car-ride is announced. This is standard practice and according to official shotgun rules means precisely nothing until fingers are actually laid upon the vehicle. Clint dives off the couch, Bucky trips him, Clint takes Bucky down with him. The other Avengers watch from the couch; they’ve learned this can take a while. (Sometimes Bruce makes a sandwich.)Eventually one or other of them will make it to the elevator or, if Natasha gets sick of them first, the elevator will descend carrying the other Avengers while they a) leap over stair rails and take a flight at a time (Bucky) or b) zip past on a line with a yodel. (Clint). Once the underground garage is reached, the real fight begins. Neither of them are particularly awesome at remembering where the car is parked and/or which one they are riding in. Due to Clint’s natural disadvantage, using the key to noisily unlock the car from a distance is ruled cheating, so they low-key sidelong watch the other Avengers until one of them breaks. (Tony. It’s usually Tony.)Then it’s running, yelling, fighting, putty-arrowing, bola-ing, slapping and pulling pigtails until they finally reach the right car, only to realise that Sam’s smugly in the driver’s seat and Steve’s called shotgun. (And no. They can’t shift their seats up.)Clint and Bucky are forced to resentfully make out in the back seat. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- There’s a kind of zen to plastering. Smooth sweeps of brown that’ll fade lighter as the sun sweeps through the room, each spread careful and even and perfectly judged. The floor in here’s done, stained and varnished under the dust sheets, but the wrist twisting balancing act to keep the plaster from falling is a long-practiced trick and they’re just as clean as when he started. He’ll leave the plaster drying tomorrow - there’s tiling in the bathroom that needs attending to before he starts in on the kitchen - and then come back and paint it Wednesday. He makes a mental note to get the color mixed and tinned Tuesday night, then fishes out his phone to make a physical note, too. He’s halfway through dictating it when there’s a soft creak from the doorway, and it’s an effort of will not to look up, to finish his note in the same tone of voice and then save it, tuck his phone away, scoop a little more plaster for spreading. He makes note of the time, for Steve, ‘cos he seems grateful for what little Clint can tell him - that the guy’s eaten, that he’s been outside, the times he hasn’t been out of his room. Injured, Steve had told him when he’d taken the job. Still adjusting. Apologetic, but still fiercely defensive, he’d said healing up. All that and he somehow hadn’t mentioned that his ex army buddy was stunning, a fucking picture, like something outta a magazine. “It’s a good day for plastering,” Clint says, like they’re halfway through a conversation already with nothing better to do. “Not too damp, not hot enough it’ll dry too fast for smoothing. It doesn’t forgive much, not unless you’re going with paper.” He bends to scoop up more plaster. Bucky - James, Steve tried to remember to introduce him, but he couldn’t keep up the formality - shifts his weight in the doorway to the wood’s gentle groan. “I figure I’ll paint on Wednesday,” Clint tells him, “and the weather’s supposed to be fine - might be a good day for a walk if you’re wanting air, but I’ll start early enough it’ll all air out before night.”“‘sokay,” Bucky says, his voice still that low rasp like it’s rusted, unused. “I don’t sleep so much.” “Been there,” Clint says. It’s a lie. He lives there. He half suspects he got into the renovation business ‘cos of one too many nights staring up at his unevenly plastered ceiling. It’s the kind of casual thing you can say, though, that’ll let you lift your head and exchange a rueful smile; it’s the kind of thing that’ll allow you to remind yourself of exactly the color of his pretty eyes. Clint’s too much of a professional, naturally, to dream of hitting on his client’s hermit housemate. But he wishes to god he wasn’t. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Clint skins the shirt up Bucky’s torso, bunching it under his arms. He’d go further, as close to off as he can get it, but Bucky’s fuckin’ chest is a work of art and Clint was always more of a fingerpainter than a distant appreciator. One time he got chucked out of a museum for getting his hands all over a stuffed leopard, he’s always had a hands on sort of appreciation, and he doesn’t do much to resist the urge to spread his fingers across Bucky’s skin, to lean down so he can trace the lines of his abs with his mouth. Bucky arches towards him, still silent, but his movement is a little awkward, a little uneven, and it is legitimately hurting Clint’s heart in a way he genuinely does not know how to define. “You’re sure you’re good,” he says, and Bucky arches again and moans, his hands flexing. Clint takes that for agreement, peels the shirt over Bucky’s head, forced to leave it around his wrists where they’re cuffed to the bed. Which’s he’s still hurting from, still pierced and aching and awed and grateful that Bucky trusts him enough to let Clint bind him. Clint traces his tongue along the line of Bucky’s triceps, then diverts to his mouth for a pathetically needy kiss that he can trust Bucky with, like this. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Tony was hard at work in the lab, because he wasn’t so good at reproducing things - things always had to be new, and shiny, and therefore Clint didn’t have a back up pair of hearing aids just waiting. So provided Tony didn’t get distracted, provided no one tried to blow up New York again, Clint might have something by morning; until that point, he was sitting in a cone of silence, watching people interact in a way he sometimes forgot to when he could hear. Body language was a big thing when he was a kid, obviously, ‘cos if you relied just on words you wound up getting hit when the old man snapped. Same for the Swordsman. All the polite and educated words in the world, and the length of his stride told you more than any of ‘em. He’d kind of let it slide when he’d grown, when it’d been years since his ears’d stuttered. Maybe the habit hadn’t slid so far as all that, though. Like right now he could tell that Bruce was amused at Thor and Sam arguing over pop-tarts. He wasn’t smiling, ‘cos Bruce didn’t always smile when the emotions were good. He had his head cocked a little to one side, though, and his hands were in his pockets rather than folded across his chest. His eyes were squinting a little and you could see the places where the smile wasn’t, if you looked, the places it was hiding badly. Thor was amused, too, but Sam was taking the lack of pop-tarts kinda personal, if Clint was reading his shoulders right. Maybe that was living alone long term - Clint had never really managed it, ‘cos Katie-Kate took half his food and he’d have to baby-proof the cupboards if he didn’t want Lucky making a play for the other half. Sam seemed kinda offended, though, when people messed with his shit, and maybe that was something Clint should talk to Steve about once he could actually hear the responses. Bucky was on the couch, sitting upright and unnaturally stiff. Clint made sure to make noise on his approach - maybe overdid it a little, ‘cos he wanted to be sure - and circled around to sit next to him, nudge him a little with his shoulder. The not-talking, that ought to feel familiar, ‘cos Bucky wasn’t exactly the chattiest, only Clint had made a point of it. He’d felt like Bucky needed someone not-Steve to filter things through, sometimes, and he’d been happy enough to take that on. Bucky was a hoot when he was doing good, his sense of humor dry and kinda mean. When he wasn’t doing good, when he was stiff and non-communicative and letting his hair fall forward, Clint generally told him a story about the circus, or showed him photos of Lucky, or made him watch cartoons. He wasn’t sure how to make that work without words, though. So he figured he’d learn from others, mimic Natasha when they were friendly and no one else was there. He turned to the side, hitched his knee up on the couch and leaned in, meaning to press his mouth against the side of Bucky’s head. Bucky turned, though, startled by the movement, and Clint ended up - first time for everything - missing his target. He caught Bucky’s nose, a little of his upper lip, and he froze entirely, head empty. Enforced silence maybe wasn’t so bad as all that, though. ‘cos it meant Clint couldn’t break the moment, make it more awkward or dismiss it offhand. Instead he just had to watch as Bucky frowned at him, as he switched his gaze between Clint’s eyes and then flickered his eyes down to Clint’s mouth. Which was slowly smiling. Which couldn’t help it. His aim the second time was perfect. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Lucky didn’t talk, but aside from that little personality facet he suited Steve right down to the soles of those stupid red boots. He was fiercely loyal, had the widest grin, wore his scars proudly. He was friendly, too, a kind of rare trait for a daemon, especially to someone like Bucky. Most of ‘em stuck close to their people, and most reacted to Bucky like they’d seen something grotesque, like the torn off remains of his connection was even uglier than what was left of his arm. Lucky, though, first time he saw Bucky he whined high in his throat and walked right over to nose at his fingers; who else but Steve’s daemon would ever have a reaction like that to someone like him?It helped him settle in the tower to have Lucky close. Too many people made him kinda nervous - although Bruce was okay, he was quiet and didn’t move too sudden, and the archer seemed mostly to just drape himself on armchairs and fall asleep. Steve kinda wavered back and forth with how close he’d get to Bucky, how he’d react, but Bucky figured having the dog curled up next to him, pushing up against his hand, that was enough for him right now. If nothing else, Steve still trusted him, that much he could be sure about. Even when he was spending all his time down in the lab, talking about fixing Bucky, looking disappointed when he didn’t remember things right. (Like Lucky. He didn’t remember Lucky. All the childhood memories that were slowly slipping back, fading into color, and not a one of them featured that one-eyed grin.)A little careful questioning of Bruce told him that standards hadn’t changed that much since he was a kid - it was still kinda taboo to touch someone else’s daemon, but there wasn’t much you could do about a heavy golden dog draped over your legs. He made his own decisions, Bucky figured, and Bruce smiled a little just at the side of his mouth. “I think he didn’t get enough hugs as a child,” he said, “and people react differently to that sort of thing. I’ve never seen Lucky like this with anyone else, though.” As far as Bucky remembered Steve got plenty of hugs, got hauled into back-slapping hair-rumpling embraces just as often as Bucky could manage it, but his memory wasn’t proving to be the most reliable. Bucky trailed his fingers across Lucky’s head, rubbing just behind his ears, and across the room the archer - Burton? Barton? He wasn’t much of a talker - sighed comfortably in his sleep. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- ( “Hey,” says a low voice, one he’s not sure he’s heard before but somehow sounds familiar. “You mind if I sit here?” It’s Lucky’s usual spot, but Lucky’s curled up asleep on Burton’s usual armchair, so turn and turn about is probably fair play. Bucky gestures, not willing after a day of silence to go so far as to open his mouth, and Burton sprawls into the empty space like he was born for it, like it was designed around him. “Thanks,” he says, with a wide open grin, and Bucky lets his mouth twitch a little upwards in response. Only polite. Burton grabs a throw pillow half an hour into the film, punches it into position against the line of Bucky’s thigh. Bucky wonders for the first time what the hell he’s doing all night to sleep so soundly in the daylight hours, surrounded by strangers and other people’s daemons. When the movie is almost done, Bucky flexes his fingers absently and finds them resting against Burton’s hair, and the urge to wind his fingers into messy-blond strands he gives into, just for a moment. Just while no one can see. Jeez, he’s treating the poor guy like Lucky.) ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Hey, Burton,” Bucky said the next morning. He’d carefully lowered the guy’s head to the couch eventually, late for an appointment with Steve that had somehow involved clothes shopping, donuts and a tour of alleys Steve had got beat up in. By the time he’d finally got back, satisfied and even smiling a little, Burton had been nowhere to be found.“… hey,” the guy said, but something about his smile didn’t look genuine. He palmed the back of his neck and walked out with the coffee pot, disappearing down the corridor that let to the bedrooms without another word. Lucky, who’d been curled up in the corner of the kitchen, gave Bucky a weird sort of look and trotted after him; judging by the way he looked after Bucky, there was something wrong with Burton and he was going for snuggles.Bucky was kind of envious. The fact that he couldn’t quite say which of them he was jealous of, that was totally irrelevant.It bugged him, though. Nibbled at the edges of his mind. Eventually he just asked Steve, ‘cos Steve was the biggest gossip Bucky had ever met.“Hey, is Burton okay?”Steve squinted at him.“Burton? The PA down on 8th?”“Yeah, when exactly would I have run into her?” Bucky asked, against whom the restrictions chafed like anything. “Burton the archer, Burton.”“Clint?” Steve asked, and Bucky tucked that away. “Clint Barton?”“Shit,” he said. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Okay, I get this looks bad.” “A surprising sign of emotional intelligence.”Clint rounded on him, practically snarled. “Fuck you, Tony, can you give us some fucking space?” “I built you this space! In the ‘giving things to Clint Barton’ stakes I think that counts as giving you - hey -”Steve didn’t stop, dragging Tony by the elbow out onto the roof, where the fall sun was bright and the world was beautiful and there was no reflection of the storm clouds that practically swirled over Bucky’s head. He was glowering, and Clint would give anything to believe that he was angry, but they knew each other too well for that now. Bucky was hurting, practically bleeding out with it, and Clint would kill whoever caused that in him if it hadn’t been his goddamn stupid self. “So there are some things I need to tell you,” Clint said, and Bucky gave him a look that eloquently combined well duh and fuck you. Maybe it was the mask Hydra always had him wear, maybe that had forced him to create an entire language that only involved eyebrows. “You don’t have to tell me anything,” Bucky said, and got to his feet. “Looked pretty cut and dried from where I was standing.” “Yeah,” Clint said, “and that’s why I need to tell you some things, why I wish like hell I’d told you them before, because it wasn’t what it fucking looked like and I am not gonna lose you to this.” “I’m not sure how kissing someone else can be anything other than what it looks like,” Bucky said, and Clint had to do something, anything to stop him, to get to him before he reached the door. “I used to be married to her,” was what came out, and that was maybe the worst place to start that story, and that was the worst expression Clint had ever seen on Bucky’s face. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- The guy was tall and willowy, darkly handsome, elegant and perfectly balanced as he moved to the beat. He was everything that Clint wasn’t, and Bucky kissed him with a vicious kind of satisfaction that turned to ashes in his mouth just as soon as he pictured Clint’s reaction to it.He hadn’t meant to but he got the cab to take him to Bed-Stuy anyway, ‘cos that was where Clint had been staying since they’d been helping Agent Morse out with her case. Since Clint had kissed her, since they’d looked so goddamn perfect together, since Bucky had told him that whatever it was they’d had, it had to fucking stop.Clint was sprawled out on the couch when Bucky opened the door. He’d confided, once, that he didn’t sleep so good in beds on his own.“I kissed someone,” he said, when Clint was still blinking sleep out his eyes, and his smile slipped from welcoming, from relief, straight into rueful acceptance that was doing its best not to show any pain.“Course you did,” Clint said, “why wouldn’t you?” And he swallowed, and he looked up, and he said, “I hope it works out, I hope they’re good to you,” and fuck, Clint Barton was the best-intentioned idiot Bucky had ever met, and he rounded the couch so he could sink down on top of Clint, could cup his hands around his face.“I kissed someone else and I think I love you,” Bucky said, and Clint turned his head so he could press a kiss into Bucky’s palm, could breathe out something that wasn’t steady or loud enough to be heard.“I know the feeling,” he said. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Tony gaped at the door that Wanda had just walked through - Vision had, naturally, just drifted through the wall. “I swear I am always the last one to know,” he said, sounding irrationally hurt and possibly even pouting a little. “Ah, Stark,” Thor said, and clapped him on the back hard enough to shove him forward a couple of paces. “Your genius with machines more than makes up for your blindness to romance. We have been making many wagers on when you will notice that Wilson has his eye on Agent Hill.” “Plus me and Bucky have been dating for months,” Clint said, off-hand, and it was honestly worth the seven shades of hell Bucky was probably gonna beat out of him for the way Tony and Steve’s mouths dropped open in unison. “There’s no way,” Steve said, and it was at that moment - because the universe liked to reiterate regularly that Clint Barton was its dancing monkey - that Bucky walked into the room. “How long?” Steve said. “How long what?” Bucky asked. “‘cos if it’s Tony’s dick I told you you gotta find that one out yourself.” Steve flushed crimson and Clint let out a bark of laughter that had Bucky slanting him a sideways grin. “How long have you been dating Clint?” Tony asked, and Bucky’s eyes widened a little, almost imperceptibly, before he walked over to drop on the couch beside Clint. Clint stiffened, expecting retaliation of the swift and brutal kind. “Oh,” Bucky said easily. “Months.” “He’s easily my favourite person,” Clint said, and he was surprised by how many ways he meant that. “Bullshit,” Steve said, and should’ve expected how everyone in the room gasped in unison. “No, that’s bullshit, Bucky woulda told me.” Clint felt warm fingers tangle with his, and he couldn’t help but squeeze Bucky’s hand a little. “We wanted to see if it would work out,” he said, earnest, and Clint ducked his head and grinned, fighting off a laugh. Bucky turned to face him, conveniently putting his back to Steve and Tony, and his arched eyebrow asked how far Clint was willing to go for prank. Since the answer was - pretty much - as far as it’d carry him, Clint leaned in slowly enough to be pushed away, and pressed his mouth against Bucky’s. It started gentle, just the barest brush of lips, and the flush of heat that climbed Clint’s cheeks, settled in his stomach, was unexpected. When Bucky parted his lips, just a little, Clint licked cautiously inside, stunned when Bucky’s tongue met his, when the kiss became something intensely and unbelievably real. He slid his hand around the side of Bucky’s neck, needing something solid to hold onto, and Bucky tilted his head and moaned low in his throat. And fuck, fuck, there was no way Clint was stopping now. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Yo, James!” Bucky lifted his head, flipping sun-lightened hair away from his face. The weather this far south was the bane of his fuckin’ life, always too bright and always too hot, and he squinted over at Myron and wondered where the fuck he’d put his sunglasses this time. “What?” he yelled. “Some guy’s asking after you.” Despite the sun, despite the sweat darkening the long-sleeve shirt he wore, Bucky felt a shiver go through him. No one should be looking for him; James Barton, part time mechanic, didn’t have anyone around to look. The agent assigned to him always stuck to whatever schedule they’d arranged, so this was either some kinda emergency or - fuck. He had a go bag in his truck. He always had a go bag in his truck, in spite of reassurances that the Irish outfit in New York was plenty busy with arrests, and court cases, and having their entire world pulled neatly apart from under them. They were busy, sure, but Bucky was pretty certain they’d make time for him. “He give you a name?” Myron ambled over, dark face shining in the sunlight, and squinted at Bucky. “Nah,” he said. “Just said you were an old friend.” He grinned, lopsided. “Knew he was lying ‘cos you’re an asshole.” “Ha,” Bucky said, “yeah,” and scrubbed a hand across his jaw like that’d detract from the way his voice wasn’t as steady as he’d like it. “You in trouble?” Myron asked, and for all that Bucky’d only been working for him six months, Bucky was pretty sure that Myron’d have his back if he asked him, and was equally certain he’d never fuckin’ ask. Myron’s wife would have his balls, for starters, and he didn’t - no one deserved the kind of guys that’d be coming for him. “I’m good,” Bucky said. “Probably some hook-up.” Myron laughed and clapped him on the back, wandered back over to the van he’d been working on. “Leave ‘em wanting more, right?” “Right,” Bucky said. He jerked a thumb over his shoulder, towards the front of the shop. “I’ll just - “The go bag was in his truck but there was a gun in his locker, a gun and three knives and Bucky stared at them for a second like they were a weight that he had to pick up again, a weight he’d thought he’d finally managed to set down. He went with the biggest knife, ‘cos guns would echo like fuck in the corrugated metal of the workshop, and he held it backhand, pressed up along his wrist. It felt like the moment on a rollercoaster, just before the drop. “Hey,” he said, as he walked through into the reception area, “how can I -”His voice died. He stopped breathing. “Hey, Buck,” Clint said. “Oh fuck,” he said, in a rush of helpless breath, and took two steps forward before he could regain control of himself. Clint looked - he looked the same. A little angrier, maybe, a little sadder, but good, and Bucky had a lump in his throat the size of Manhattan. “Found you,” Clint said, spread his hands a little, and Bucky took it for the invitation it probably wasn’t, dropped his knife to the floor and pushed right into Clint’s space, resting his forehead against Clint’s just long enough to feel Clint’s hitching breath against his mouth. Then he couldn’t hold out any longer, couldn’t breathe without it, couldn’t stop himself from pressing his lips against Clint’s and winding his fingers into his hair. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Clint brought home a couch, once, when he and Bobbi were still finding their feet, still working out how to make the heroics pay. It was mustard yellow and one of the arms was patched with duct tape, and he paid some guy ten bucks to help him haul it up the stairs. All it got him was a place to sleep that night, when she told him it was supposed to be their place, that he was supposed to be remembering to talk to her first, while he tugged at the little hairs at the back of his neck and tried to remember what she wanted some way that would stick. He slept like a baby, that night. The little sign someone’d left on the sidewalk there with it - world’s ugliest comfiest couch - had no word of a lie. He wasn’t thoughtless, he was just kinda dumb, and his relationships always ended because of something he’d forgotten or hadn’t listened to right. And all the arguments in the world couldn’t stop him from hauling broken and ugly and useless things home and trying to make them work. His dumb-ass dog was a case in point. He figured that if the Swordsman hadn’t seen something in him, hadn’t hauled him in off the sidewalk and trained him, fixed him until he was something worth something… It was important, that was all. It was important to him to make the shitty, broken things work. Times had changed, and now the asking price was fifty dollars for skinny Simon to help him haul the roll-top desk up the stairs. They burst through the door in an ungainly rush and dumped it in the empty space by the window, and Clint gave the kid his money and a glass of water before heading to shower off the alley-dust and sweat. When he came back out Bucky was standing looking at the desk, his forehead furrowed and his arms crossed, and Clint felt his stomach squirm itself into a painful knot. “Jesus fuck this thing’s ugly,” Bucky said, thoughtful, and Clint offered a sheepish smile. “Help me clean it up and you can fuck me on it?” he offered, and Bucky came over and hooked a hand around the back of his neck, pulled him in and grinned against his mouth. “I love you, you fuckin’ headcase,” he said, and Clint took that to mean that he was maybe kinda broken, but Bucky was willing to make it work. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Bucky curls his hands into fists around the sleeves of his hooded sweater, the one that’s too hot for the late summer sun but hides his arm and hides his scars and hides how long it’s been since he’s taken a shower. Steve’s at work today and Bucky’s standing in the doorway of the kitchen, rocking his weight back and forth like that’ll force him into motion, like that motion’ll end with him fed. It’s one of those simple requirements that make him feel even more like a failure when he just can’t get them done - jeez, how hard is it to dress himself, or make a sandwich, or answer the door to the mailman? - and it’s on his list of therapist-set goals. He shifts his weight again, and the floor creaks, and Clint - who’s been pretty good about ignoring his presence so far - looks up and grins at him. “Hey,” he says, and he always speaks like they’re friends, and the level that Bucky can deal with that has been changing daily. “I’ve got a sandwich going if you’re hungry.” Bucky forces himself to walk to the table and drop into a chair, and he’s pathetically grateful when Clint gets to his feet and fetches him a glass of water, a plate with a sandwich and some chips, an apple. Clint’s been working out on the deck today, and he sings half-complete songs when he’s painting, and he moves around Steve’s house like he belongs here. Bucky’s not sure how he feels about that; somewhere, he thinks, between envious and desperately wanting. Clint goes right back to eating like he’s done nothing out of the ordinary. Bucky pokes at his potato chips.“You nearly done?” he asks, and Clint looks down at his sandwich for a second before working it out. “This place is a wreck,” he says, and grins. “I’m here as long as Steve keeps paying me.” “Okay,” Bucky says, and falls silent again. Chips and apples are too noisy - he’s not ready to have that much of a presence in the world - so he pulls at a piece of bread and balls it up between his fingers, squishing it down until it’s a tiny pellet of nutrition and tossing it into his mouth. Look, ma, he ate, and he’ll be texting Steve to smugly tell him that later. Clint finishes his lunch and pushes to his feet, heading over to rinse his plate and stack it in the dishwasher. “My closet door’s broken,” Bucky blurts out, awkward and a little too loud. Clint blinks at him. “Okay?”“And I’ve got - there was hazard pay.” Clint regards him for a second, and there’s a smile curling up at the side of his mouth, and he looks at Bucky the way no one’s looked at him for a long fucking time. “Aaw, Buck,” he says, and it’s fond and it’s awful and it twists in Bucky’s stomach. “You asking me to stay?” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Hey,” Clint said, and pressed a quick kiss to Bucky’s cheek, grabbing a slice of toast off his plate and jamming half of it into his mouth. “’arry ‘e?” Bucky rolled his eyes. “Not until you learn some fuckin’ table manners,” he said, and Clint grinned around his mouthful, chewed obnoxiously with his mouth open until Bucky cuffed him around the back of his head on the way to the dishwasher. “You’re a bad influence on the kids,” he said, and Wanda snorted. “We are already morally corrupted,” she said piously, “living with our unmarried - this metaphor is confusing. Are you our fathers?” Clint choked protestingly and Vision poked at the crumbs that landed in front of him. “I was created by Tony Stark,” he said. “Which would perforce make my other father Captain Rogers.”“Repeat that when he’s here,” Bucky said, turning to lean on the counter and grinning sudden and devilish. “Do it for me.” “Very well,” said Vision serenely. “Not my fault we’re unmarried,” Clint said, mouth finally empty. “I’ve been asking.” “Really?” Wanda asked, suddenly interested, and Bucky rolled his eyes again. “Every morning since he started stealing my breakfast. Not marryin’ him just ‘cos he can’t work out the new toaster, even if he is persistent. It’s been, what, two weeks?” “Two weeks four days,” Clint said. “I’m wearing you down.” “Wearing me out,” Bucky muttered grumpily, ‘cos yeah, maybe he would kinda like that one day, actually, and Clint making fun of him for it stung a little every time. Clint shrugged. “Whatever gets me there,” he said. “Kinda love you, asshole.” Bucky softened, couldn’t hold back his grin. “Kinda love you too.” “Aaw,” Steve said, walking into the kitchen, his grin wide and mocking. “Ain’t that just the cutest.” “Fuck you,” Bucky said cheerfully. “Don’t be rude to my father,” Vision said sternly, and Steve choked on air, bright red in the face. “Ha!” Bucky yelled, grinning widely at Vision. “Oh, man, that was amazing, marry me.” Clint gasped, outraged. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “He’s - he’s kidding with this, right?” Clint had both his hands clapped over his mouth, but snorts of warm air were still gusting against Bucky’s throat as he read over his shoulder. Holy shit, though, this was a lot of effort to go to for a joke, right? Like, this was professional quality, the paper, the loopy writing, the gold border around the edge… For your approval, the sticky note said, and it had a little x after the stylised V, and Bucky was just. Bucky wasn’t thinking about, he was not - Mr Anthony Stark and Mr Steven Rogers request the pleasure of your company - - Vision was a robot, and there must’ve been some kinda miscommunication somewhere - for the wedding of - “You did kinda ask him,” Clint eventually managed. “I mean, I get that you were kidding but -”- James Buchanan Barnes and Vision - “- but does he know that?”“Fuck,” Bucky said blankly. “Fuck.”“You do not wish to join with me in matrimony,” Vision said, flatly. “Look it - it’s not you,” Bucky said, feeling horribly guilty. “It’s me. I just - I can’t marry you.” Vision drifted over to the window, his cape fluttering in some unfelt wind, and stared out over New York. “Am I permitted to know why?” he asked, and Bucky ran a hand through his hair, feeling a helpless flush rise into his cheeks. “I can’t marry you ‘cos I wanna marry Clint,” he said, helpless. “Sweet,” Clint said. Bucky turned on his heel to find Clint on one knee behind him, wearing a tux-printed shirt and an idiotic grin, holding up a ring box. Steve and Tony were standing behind him, and Tony had just taken a photo of his expression, and - “Oh, you bunch of fuckin’ assholes,” Bucky said, and would never admit that his voice wobbled a little over the yes. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- //so like//Bucky startled awake at his phone’s buzz, on instant alert, taking a second before he could blink himself into something resembling consciousness and breathe.//if i eat the cereal first//The room was strange in the screen’s blue light, sharper angled yet still grainy, like a poorly printed photograph. Everything was unfamiliar, which was the most sense anything had made in a while.//and then i go to the bodega and get the milk//Something in his stomach told him he was better off awake, that it’d only have been a matter of time before he ended up here, and this way he could maybe sleep again afterwards.//to my stomach that’s basically the same thing right?//Bucky scrubbed a hand over his face and finally fumbled for his phone, and Clint’s name on the screen made him grin even when he hadn’t meant to. Even when he read the texts that’d hauled him out of sleeping.//this is not what I expected from the future// he sent back, and the little grey bubble popped up immediately.//FLYING CARS// Clint replied, and Bucky was startled into a laugh in the twilit emptiness of his room.//go get the milk ill make you pancakes// he said. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- The denim of his jeans is rough against his forehead. He can hear voices. He can hear kids laughing. He can smell - pretzels, and car exhaust, and - three, three, three - and detergent ‘cos his jeans are clean and that’d felt so much like a freaking win this morning. Okay. Four. Fuck. Four. Bucky lifts his head warily, his shoulders hunched, and tucks his long hair behind his ears. Okay. He can see the glowering clouds that are threatening rain, and he can see the rainbow colored umbrella of the woman sitting with her book, and he can see the pretzel cart which is honestly kinda turning his stomach, and he can see a dog. Huh. He eases up a little further, and it no longer feels like his heart is gonna beat out of his chest, and his breathing is returning to something resembling normal. He lets out a long breath, and the dog rewards him by easing closer, leaning its heavy body against his bent legs and resting its head on his knees, panting and grinning up at him. It’s a sandy kinda golden color, its one eye big and brown, and it’s wearing a purple collar with a four leaf clover shaped tag, so it’s no real surprise to turn it over and see ‘Lucky’ inscribed over a phone number. “Hey, buddy,” Bucky says, palming the dog’s head, and it’s kind of amazing how the presence of a dog immediately legitimizes the weird guy curled up on the floor alongside a bench, and it’s easy enough to give no shits about sidelong glances when there’s a sloppy pink tongue licking all the available skin, fingers and ripped jeans, going for the face which has Bucky fending him off and laughing. Lucky cocks his head, turning suddenly, and Bucky hears it a second later - a guy’s voice calling for his dog. Bucky has to fight not to curl his hand into Lucky’s collar, ‘cos if this ain’t the best he’s felt in weeks, but it doesn’t seem necessary - Lucky parks himself right on Bucky’s feet and barks instead, grabbing the guy’s attention. He grins in relief, jogging over, and he’s going commando under the grey sweatpants, which really should not be the first thing that Bucky notices about a guy but he’s not so great at eye contact any more. Plus he’s sitting on the ground, so he deserves some slack. Raising his eyes doesn’t exactly let him off the hook, anyways - the guy’s shirt is washed thin and faded purple, and it clings lovingly to a killer set of abs, to the best shoulders Bucky has possibly ever seen. “Hey,” says a grinning face when he’s finally managed to get his eyes up that far, gorgeous blue eyes and a fuckin’ beautiful smile, and shit, there goes his heart again. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Is it hard with your sense of direction, never being able to find your way to a decent pickup line?”“Is it my fault I get lost in your eyes?” Bucky narrowed his eyes and bit his lip, trying desperately to disguise that they were edging a little upwards into a smile. There was no fuckin’ way he was losing this. “Can you find your ass with both hands?” he asked, fake solicitous, and Clint’s mouth curled just slightly, not close enough to a grin. “Are you flirting with me?” he asked, and Bucky took a quick swig from his beer like that’d do anything to discuss the light pink that was washing his cheeks. “Are you an idiot?” but Clint wasn’t so easily put off. “Wait, are you blushing?” “Are you kidding?” “No, wait, seriously, are you flirting with me?” Clint said, eyes wide and confused and a little vulnerable in the dim light of the bar. Tony made an obnoxious buzzer noise. “Repetition! After… twenty eight minutes and a whole fuckload of seconds, Clint ‘the Question Master’ Barton has been beaten at questions by Bucky ‘Haven’t You Guys Got Anything Better to Do?’ Barnes!”“I never agreed to that nickname,” Bucky mumbles into the neck of his beer. “You wrote it down,” Tony said. “I didn’t understand the question.” “It’s right there.” “Buck?” Clint asked, and Bucky pushed to his feet, thumping his empty bottle on the bar on his way to the men’s room, feeling suddenly and awkwardly sober. The door clattered open again bare seconds after it’d closed behind him, and Bucky - braced against the sinks - lifted his head to look in the mirror. “Hey,” Clint said. “You don’t wanna choose the forfeit?”“I don’t want anything outta you that I have to coerce,” Bucky said. “And if I want to?” Clint asked. “You asking?” Bucky returned, quick-fire, like before. “Pretty sure I’d beg,” Clint said, and Bucky cupped the side of his face and pulled him in, no questions left. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “And what about the rumours about your love life, Cap?”Steve stiffens and his stride falters for a second, but he ultimately keeps walking, ‘cos he’s almost as trained as Tony for the whole media circus. Bucky? Not so much.“What does that mean?” Bucky asks, biting down on the swearing just 'cos it’s only morning, and little kids might be watching. “What’s that supposed to mean, huh?”The guy’s eyes widen a little, torn between a healthy level of fear - so he’s not completely an idiot - and a spark of glee that he’s got one of the Avengers talking.“Our viewers need to know if Captain America is upholding the traditional family values we expect from public - ”There’s the soft but unmistakeable creak of metal as Bucky’s hand clenches, and the reporter wisely shuts his mouth and backs off a couple paces.“What’re you gonna do if he’s not, huh?” Bucky asks, his voice low and angry and coiled tight. “If some guy was here right now, had you held at the end of the gun, you gonna refuse help from the Avengers 'cos one of 'em’s queer?”“Well obviously - ” the guy sputters, and Bucky overrides him.“Nah, you’re gonna want me to step in even if I’m gay,” Bucky says. “Right? 'Cos I am,” he says, and even in this moment there’s a rush of terror and elation and a feeling like free-falling, “I’m gay. As. Shit.” He pokes the guy in the chest on each word, metal finger likely leaving bruises.He leaves the guy mouthing like a fish, stalking over to the quinjet and throwing himself into the co-pilot seat. It’s kinda become his seat, now, and Clint is staring at the side of his face.“What?” He snaps.“Just hoping that’s the truth, 'cos -”“It’s gonna be everywhere, I know. Fuck it.”“'Cos,” Clint says, patient, “I’ve been trying to work it out for months, and if you were lying it’s gonna break my little heart.”“Not lying,” Bucky says, and Clint gives him this look that’s amused and pleased and touched with heat that he’s just kinda registering has been there for a while, now.“Ready for some rumours about your love life?” He says. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “I love you.” Clint froze for a second. Maybe even stopped breathing. Then the tension in his hunched shoulders deliberately uncoiled and he went back to stirring the pot on the stove, letting out a breath. “Nope,” he said. “Try again.” “I’m sorry too,” Bucky said, “I just - that one seemed kinda more important to say.” “Because you figured it’d make me less mad at you?” Clint asked, and his voice was sharp. Bucky risked taking a step closer. “Because I meant it. Because that whole thing, with the -”“Falling to your death?” Clint said. “Because you’re too much of an asshole to prioritize your own goddamn safety?” “With the quinjet, and the parachute, it brought some stuff into focus.” “Was it the ground?” Clint asked, sting of sweetness, “what with you getting a close up and all.” “Clint,” Bucky said. He took another step closer, almost close enough to touch, and he didn’t miss the way Clint swayed just the barest fraction backwards. “Fuck you,” Clint said. “I love you,” Bucky told him, hand hovering just an inch away from his side. “Fuck you,” Clint said, and spun around to haul him into a tight hug, pulled him in until it felt like his ribs creaked. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- There was a perfect silence for a second after he was done reading, and Clint Barton - aka Professor Barton, aka professor hot-ass, aka ‘smarter than that hawk-guy’, at which Bucky had rolled his eyes and planted a copy of ‘A Brief History of Time’ in front of Tarrina on her break - rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “So that was from my book - ‘Let Me Be Perfectly Queer: the semiotics of a subculture’. Which I’m gonna go scribble on over there in a second if you wanna get your copy defaced. Um. Thanks?” His gratitude was almost entirely drowned out by a storm of clapping that seemed to startle him, if his wide-eyed grin was any indication. And Bucky - who had gotten over meeting admired authors in about his second year of owning his bookshop - felt a treacherous squirming in his stomach. He edged closer, intending to hand over Barton’s requested 'e-fucking-normous coffee’ and guide him to the signing table, but he’d already been cornered by one teary-eyed fan. “…self-conscious to study it, and your book just broke it down so well into words I could get, and it made me feel clever for the first time and I just -” “Aaw, crying, no,” Barton said, dismayed, and before Bucky could step in and smooth over the awkwardness - comical in itself, since this place was called Grumpy Bear Books for a reason - Barton had wrapped his arms around her and was rocking her a little, back and forth. “Hey,” he said gently, “hey. Don’t let anyone make you feel like you gotta be all educated to be smart, okay? I grew up in the circus, didn’t even learn to read until I was ten, and my first time in a proper school they thought I was a dummy.” He pushed her away just a little, ducked his head to give her the most impossibly beautiful smile. “Prove 'em wrong,” he said, soft and gentle, and this guy was a freaking menace to Bucky’s heart. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Bed-sharing etiquette was not a thing one learned in cryogenic deep freeze.Clint had shared beds for a lot of his life, when it came down to it. His mom and dad didn’t have enough space for Barney and him, and in the circus they were so grateful by the time they graduated to a bed that it didn’t matter they had to share it, and with Natasha body heat evolved into best friend sneaky poke-fights within hours.Also, he wasn’t inexperienced, obviously. He’d never been a love ‘em and leave 'em type, not particularly prone to the one night stand, and one time he’d even been married. They tended to leave him. So he respected the sides, and the sharing of the eiderdown, and where exactly to put cold feet. He was comfortable enough on his masculinity to be either of the spoons, and had become kind of an expert at sleeping through snores.Bucky was… an education. He kicked, and thrashed, and made selfish nests with blankets. He started the spectrum each night at hedgehog but always slid down to octopus by morning, wrapped tight and uncomfortable so Clint was reminded of his presence with every squeezed breath. He woke, once, with a hand over his face and a finger up his nose, and -And he woke smiling. Every damned time.'Cos sure, he breathed in Bucky’s hair until he was practically coughing up hair balls, but what was that weighed against the knowledge that someone wanted, kept wanting, to stay that damned close? ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Clint’s a shivering, dripping mess on the welcome mat that Steve had insisted on, sniffling pathetically as rain drips off the end of his nose.“I know you’re still mad at me,” he says, before Bucky can even react, “you’re just the only guy I know who lives nearby.” He’s clutching at his ribs, and there’s that moment of terror, ‘cos if there’s anyone in Bucky’s life that’ll get themselves killed by accident, probably saving some old lady from a mugger or some other horrendously noble shit, that person is Clint goddamn Barton. There’s a tiny squeaking, though, a shifting movement, and a tiny bedraggled ginger kitten pokes its head out of Clint’s zipped sweatshirt.“Jesus fucking Christ,” Bucky says, blankly, and scrubs a hand across his face before hopelessly stepping aside. Clint doesn’t go further than the entry, rainwater spattering onto the newspaper that’s set there for Steve’s boots. Bucky holds out his hand, expecting Clint to strip off his soaked sweatshirt; instead he gets a handful of damp fluff and grumbles, its tiny accusing blue eyes hating on him for not being food shaped.“The fuck am I supposed to do with this?” he asks, while Clint hauls off the outer layer of clothes, leaving him in a gray shirt that’s damp enough to cling to him, and Bucky’s mad at him, this is an important thing to remember. “The fuck am I supposed to do with you?” he asks, despairing. Clint steps out of his shoes, and his sock’s got a hole in it in the heel, and Bucky turns around and heads straight for the bathroom because he’s mad, okay. He pulls a towel off the heater and coils it into a nest for the kitten, then grabs another for Clint, turning to find that the man’s followed him in, that he’s close enough to touch.“You need to remind me why I’m angry at you,” Bucky says, his eyes flicking between the rainwater beaded on Clint’s eyelashes and the bitten-red of his lips.“I - er -” Clint says, his pupils wide and dark and his voice low. “Fuck,” Bucky says, and gives into the inevitable; there’s no way he’s not gonna have a fuckin’ pet bed in his bedroom, this time tomorrow, and there’s no way he’s resisting Clint Barton’s goddamn mouth. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- First time Bucky saw Clint, the guy was bent over his mailbox. And Bucky’s mailbox had been stuffed with condoms, had had a crucifix hung off of it, had been slammed with a baseball bat, had - oh hey, ‘fag’ in bright pink paint, nice. “Hey!” he hollered, and the guy’s head came up like a startled horse, big blue Iowa-sky eyes wide. “Hey, fuck you, I’m calling the fuckin’ -”He registered the bowl of dish-soapy water, then, the yellow rubber gloves and the sponge dripping pale pink. “Hey,” the guy said, sitting back on his heels. He offered Bucky a smile, like greetings with swearing and yelling were standard practice around here. “Sorry, I didn’t figure it’d be so stubborn.” “I - sorry,” Bucky managed, feeling all wrong-footed. “I didn’t -”“You should absolutely call the cops,” he said. “I actually already -” he held out a hand, registered the dripping sponge, pulled off his glove and dropped it in the soapy water and then stared at it in dismay for a second. “I actually am the cops,” he said, fishing out the glove and shaking the water out of it sadly. “Hi.” “Wow,” Bucky said flatly. “I feel safer already.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “I don’t understand how you are so relaxed about this,” Natasha hissed, and Clint shrugged, kicking his heels against the leg of the table he was perched on.“I get it,” he said. “Least important Avenger, over here.”“Clint, you’re not -”“Plus I’ve been married before.” He cut right over the top of her, which was probably screwing up some kind of etiquette listed in a book he’d never read. It was always kinda awkward when she tried to bolster his ego, though, when she didn’t seem to realise that outside of archery he didn’t so much have one.“What’s that got to -?”“I’m over the whole romance thing,” Clint said. “Tax breaks and giving way on the unimportant things, that’s about it for marriage.” He shrugged. “It’s better than it falling to someone who’d actually take this shit seriously, right?”“I don’t like it,” Natasha told him, stubborn, and Clint curled up his fist and tapped her on the shoulder, the closest they really got to a hug.“No one likes it,” he said, “and no one trusts Hydra as far as they can throw ‘em, but there’s a saying here about friends and enemies and closeness, right?”“I don’t want him that close to you,” Natasha said, and there was genuine worry in her voice, and the fact that she allowed him to hear that settled in a warm place right next to his heart.“Half of the rumours about him probably aren’t even true.” He let out a breath, and then tilted his head to look up at the ceiling. “Hey JARVIS,” he said, and his voice was practically steady. “Show me my future boo.”An image flickered into being in the air, and Clint stared at it for a moment, his mouth dropping open.“Oh no,” he said. “He’s hot.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “So how is this supposed to work?”The voice comes from behind him, low and scratchy and possibly amused. “Fuck,” Clint says, ‘cos he’s struggled and he’s pulled and he’s pretty sure his wrists are bleeding and he’s got splinters from the gods-damned lightning-struck tree and he’s no closer to freeing himself than he was at midday. The sun’s set now, almost entirely, just a wash of red and orange across the sky in the west and the darkness of the forest behind. Clint doesn’t give up easily, doesn’t give up basically ever unless all he’s giving up on is himself, and his shoulders unknot and he slides down a little against the ropes, lets out a long breath and all his hopes with it. “The village offers you tribute,” Clint says, flat and practiced. “And requests that you -”“Yeah,” the voice says. “Heard it.” He circles around from the left, looking at Clint curiously, and Clint was honestly expecting something a little more impressive. He’s solid-built, and his hair is long and untouched by bleaching with lime, and he has ashes smeared around his eyes so they look paler and bluer against it. He’s tall, but not tallest, he’s strong, but maybe not strongest. He’s silent, though, and that’s something that would impress, that would lend death’s favor in the forest. “You’re not my usual type,” he says abruptly, and Clint shrugs. “It’s been a tough winter,” he says. “Ran out of virgins?” “Ran out of a lot of things.” “So they chose you.” His voice is flat, unimpressed, and Clint kinda bristles at it.“I’m a prize, pal,” he says, and the guy doesn’t even have to say anything, just arches a cynical brow. Clint deflates again. “Yeah, okay, they kind of really hate me.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Bucky finds Clint curled up next to the couch, curled in the narrow gap between it and the wall, and he’s not-crying in that way that veers dangerously close, hitching breaths and angry exhales, looking up at the ceiling and shoving his sleeve under his nose.He pushes the couch over, one-handed, and it screeches and scrapes across the floor just far enough for him to squeeze in next to Clint, for them to overlap a little so they push against each other as they breathe. “I hate this,” Clint says, miserable. He’d been helping a new tenant move in, hauling boxes and shifting furniture, and every line of him is a study in aching, ‘cos it’s been the longest time since anyone would let him lift, or carry, or spar. Bucky takes his hand and sets his thumb to pushing out the knots in Clint’s palm, Clint’s fingers curling in reaction around his. “You’re getting better,” Bucky says, and he states it flatly like a fact, hammering uncertainties into alignment with the way the world ought to be. “Doesn’t feel like it,” Clint says, and Bucky moves his hand carefully up forearm to elbow, Clint hissing as his arm extends. “Doesn’t have to,” Bucky says, and he keeps methodically massaging Clint’s arm, ‘cos that’s what he needs to do, and doesn’t run a hand over his chest again - just checking - because that’s not what Clint needs. The sun disappears out of there corner before it leaves the rest of the room, and it’s a place where secrets can be whispered away from anyone else that’d care. “What if you guys don’t need me any more?” and “I always fuckin’ will.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Look, we really are sorry about this,” the fair one says, shoulders hunched; his sheepish smile is the last thing Clint sees before the stinking sack drops over his head. The awkward, jostling, uncomfortable, terrifying ride after - where he can rely on neither hearing nor sight, and must only brace himself as best he can in the corner of the carriage and simply wait desperately for it to be over - is best not spoken of. When they finally draw to a halt - when he is finally pulled from the carriage with surprisingly careful hands, set on his feet, dusted off politely – the bag is removed to reveal that they are standing in an ancient courtyard. It is empty of all signs of human life, and the local beasts have evidently taken full advantage. Wild pigs are rooting about in the foliage that has taken over what must have been the stables, and archers’ slots are filled with nesting birds.It’s the dark-haired man who stands in front of him when Clint has done gawking, a small lop-sided smile on his face.“I’m Tony,” he says, his beard kept short enough that his lips are easy enough to read. “We find ourselves in need of your skills.”He holds up one of the garish flyers that Mr Carson had had Natalia paint. This one features a stylized bow and arrow, and the words running across it are unintelligible to Clint but he’s heard them enough in the ring to have some idea of what they say.‘The Prince of Precision, Royalty of the Range, the AMAZING HAWKEYE!’“You want me to shoot someone?” Clint asks, looking around for the other man. He doesn’t like to have people behind him.There’s a buzz of noise – just as he locates the fair man sitting at the base of one of the towers, sitting halfway up surprisingly swept steps – and Clint turns to face Tony again.“Repeat that?” he says, and Tony’s sharp eyes narrow, flicking to Clint’s ears. Clint hunches defensively, because revealing weakness is never a good move, and folds his arms across his chest to display his well-developed muscles. Tony would do well not to try anything.“Actually we want you to kiss someone,” Tony appears to say, and Clint blinks at him blankly.“What.”The rumour of the sleeping prince had even made its way to the circus. They had assumed it was the same as all stories that reach them – tangled, and unfinished, and viewed under curved glass. The basics were simple enough, though. A mysterious illness, a sleeping prince, a frankly insane request that all local minor royalty – of which there were many, for the dark woods covered many kingdoms – attempt to wake the sleeper.“Not seeing how this concerns me,” Clint says, and Tony sends an exasperated look at his fair friend before pointing deliberately at the words on the flyer.“You guys know you’re crazy, right?” he says.“Steve is desperate,” Tony says, and he looks for a second more honest than he has before, more tired, more unhappy. “His best friend is lost to him and he cannot help. It’s killing him, and I owe him a life debt, and I’m not gonna stand by and leave him unhappy.”Clint lets out an explosive sigh. “And you’ll return me to the circus when I’ve proved you’re insane?” he asks, and at Tony’s confirmation he turns to the tower. “Fine,” he says. “Fine.”With all that the two men can do, the tower is still showing signs of age and wear. The sleeping prince is surrounded by cobweb-filled corners, his fine green blankets showing an equally fine layer of dust. Clint likes the man immediately, for his forehead is creased with a fearsome frown, and he looks like he will wake – if wake he will – prepared immediately to lambast Steve and Tony for their efforts.Aside from his frown he is prince-like enough. He has the appropriate strength of jaw, the fine bone structure, the glossy length of hair spread over his pillows. Clint idly thinks that he has a handsome face, but still balks immediately at what they ask him to do.He makes them leave – for privacy’s sake – and then drags over a padded chair to the side of the bed.“I’m not kissing you,” he tells the sleeping prince flatly. “I don’t kiss people who don’t ask me for it. But I’ll stay with you a while. You surely don’t have the face for sleeping alone.”There’s little to distract him in the dusty tower, and Clint finds himself talking instead, telling tales of the circus, of Natalia’s daring stunts, and the wild and ferocious beasts, and the painted clowns and their tumbles. As the sun fades from the sky, painting the room in shades of orange and rose, he sings soft and tired, like Natalia as she wipes clean their thick grease paint.Sunset fades to true night, and Clint is about to return the chair to its corner and force Tony to return him home when he sees something flash from the corner of his eye. Without thought – Barney would say he is always without thought – he has an arrow strung and loosed, and for a moment he thinks there was nothing there to hit. But on closer approach, he sees the strange insect-like creature that his arrow has pinned to the wall. Even closer, and he can see that it is not a creature at all, but a strange automaton, made precisely from metal and glass. Its wings are still buzzing a little, twitchy and lopsided, and Clint makes sure not to touch it as he angles for a closer look. Its tiny face is eyeless, but it has sharp teeth, teeth which drip with something thick and milk-white. The whole of it is unnatural and somehow cruel, and Clint waits until it is entirely without movement before he pulls out his arrow and wraps it in cloth.When he turns to the door, movement from the bed catches his eye. Moonlight-grayed eyes stare at him for a moment, and then there is sudden motion, faster than he can react to, and he is pressed against the cold stone of the tower with the prince’s fierce frown bare inches from his face.“Who the hell are you?” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Clint jogged over to fetch the tennis ball again and returned to Lucky, who was sprawled happily on the grass, tongue lolling. “You’re supposed to go get the damned ball,” he said, dropping the sopping green fuzz in front of Lucky’s nose. “I’m not the one with the high cholesterol, mister, and I refuse to have your doctor bully me again.” He threw the ball again, then slumped down next to the dumb freakin’ dog that he hadn’t even meant to own in the first place. “You kind of suck,” he told him. Lucky beamed and rested his head on his knee for scritchings. There was a damp thump by Clint’s foot, and a tiny corgi wagged its tail at him, Clint’s tennis ball between its front paws. “See?” Clint told Lucky, “someone around here knows how to dog.” “Yeah, pretty sure it’s you,” said a voice, and Clint looked up to see - wow. Wow, those were some short damned shorts, kinda incongruous with the long sleeves of his sweatshirt. “Were you playing fetch with the dog, or was the dog playing fetch with you?” “I’m comfortable with my position in this relationship,” Clint said, grinning up at the stubbly perfection of the guy’s face. “And it ain’t the one holding the leash,” the guy said, and heh, Clint thought, willing to let you hold my leash.…and shit. Shit. That was not his internal monologue voice, was it. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Pizza has always been… fine. Whatever. It’s good, sure, but it’s got nothing on Thai food, jerk chicken, really good Mexican. Bucky’s also become a fan of things that take longer, things that require a little finessing and can’t just be grabbed between jobs. He’s working towards hedonism, as a lifestyle choice, and he’s enjoying every inch of it.Hedonism, though, it’s got different shapes. You wouldn’t think milk crate furniture would feature heavily, duct tape, pet-hair and dust bunnies taking long-term leases of the corners. And somehow pizza’s central to it too. Grease-spotted purple shirts. The quirk of Clint’s mouth as he crooks his neck to catch stretching mozzarella.So when they ask him - and they do, ‘cos there’s nothing quite like the inanity of post-job 'journalism’ - he tells them pizza, with a stupid grin. He loves pizza. Pizza’s the fuckin’ best. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Sometimes, being a complete nerd comes in handy.” Bucky’s score was just - embarrassingly higher than Clint’s, and it was more of a turn-on than he would ever have expected. Celebrity Jeopardy had been one of Tony’s weirder ideas, but Bucky had seemed kind of enthused about it, which was rare for him. He and Clint were still off active duty - Clint had dislocated something, or torn something, he hadn’t really been paying attention to the medical types - so they’d been the logical choices. And now Bucky was in the middle of storming a round called Shakespeare Deathmatch and Clint kinda wanted to drop to his knees behind the desk. “How the hell do you know all this?” Bucky shrugged, and looked a little embarrassed for a second, pink coloring the tips of his ears. “I read,” he said. “I used to read to Stevie all the time when he was sick, and Tony’s got a pretty good library.” “Wow,” Clint said, a little dazed. “He does? I’m just - I’m picturing you in little reading glasses now.”“Fuck off,” Bucky said, “Super soldier vision, dick.” “Look, let me have my fantasies,” Clint said, “make up for the unbelievable ass-kicking I’m getting on television, huh?” “…fantasies?” Bucky said, curious. “I’m seriously an inch away from swallowing your -”“Filming again in five,” a kid with a clipboard says, her cheeks blotchy red. “Um, remember that you’re mic’d up, okay?” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Bucky wakes up with the imprint of keys on his face, which is progress - he wakes up, which implies that at some point last night he fell asleep - but not progress he thinks Steve is gonna be proud of. He wipes a hand over his face, thinks for a minute about getting up to wash it, but there’s a whole apartment between him and the bathroom right now and he’s not entirely sure he can handle it. Ugh. Maybe today he’ll open his curtains. Maybe that can be today’s goal. He fumbles for his phone, holds it awkwardly in his prosthetic hand and taps out curtains?, sending it to Steve and waiting for the response. Sure enough it comes back almost instantly, the sound of the vibration against silicone putting his teeth on edge. Starting point, Steve says, gonna need more. ‘cos of course he is. ‘cos fuck him, anyway. Bucky ponders what his other goals for today will be while he idly refreshes the page he was on, distracted from his train of thought when a video pops up, freshly posted. It has a dog with a cape and a superhero mask, okay, it’s gotta be gold. The dog’s kind of adorable, grinning big, its one eye bright brown through the mask which is a shade of purple that shoulda died in the ‘80s. The cape is being industriously flapped by someone off camera, even as the dog lets out a soft groan and lies down. “Laziest superdog,” a girl’s voice says, “just like his owner. Make the noises, Clint!” There’s a long-suffering sigh from the cape flapper. “Nyoom,” he says, monotone and joyless, and for some reason in combination with the industrious flapping it strikes Bucky as kinda hilarious, and he snorts loud enough to startle himself. He rubs a hand over his mouth, the familiar stubble and the unfamiliar curve, and watches it again for good measure. Gonna go take a shower, he texts Steve. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Bucky slides in close and Clint’s turn and grin are natural as breathing, seems like, which does a little something to ease Bucky’s gut.The worst of it is the way Clint has no clue. Genuinely has to be smacked upside the head, has to be pressed up against a wall and kissed within an inch of his life, before he notices that someone’s got a thing for him.And sure, that works for Bucky, ‘cos he can do without the competition. He’s aware he ain’t exactly cat’s pyjamas, here. So Clint’s low self esteem is all in Bucky’s favour, but that means he has to watch all the guys that dance up close. Has to watch Clint show off his skills and charm all the women with how bashful they can make him. Has to wonder which one of 'em would be better for Clint than Bucky’s ever gonna be.“Lookin’ good out there,” he leans in to say, close enough to be heard over the pounding bass.“Bullshit,” Clint says cheerfully, winding his arms around Bucky’s neck.“Most beautiful thing any of 'em’s ever seen,” he insists, and kisses the dubious right off of Clint’s face. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “I learned it at the circus,” Clint says, with the kind of earnest grin that separates a man from his money easy as breathing. “What’ve you gotta lose?”Bucky tucks the cigarette he’s been rolling behind his ear, ‘cos nicotine does fuck-all to a super soldier’s body, but the process became somehow meditative. He holds out his left hand, head cocked, and Clint pushes it aside, gives him the finger in return.“What,” he says, “you want your fortune in binary?”Clint takes Bucky’s right hand between his own, the archer’s calluses not quite like anyone else. The gentle stroke of thumbs against his palm sends electricity up the line of his spine, and Bucky bites down on the meat of his lower lip, 'cos he’s not afraid to show what Clint’s doing to him.“So what do you see?” He says, and Clint grins.“What do you wanna hear?” He asks. “The 2.5 kids? The picket fence? The -” he looks down, brushes his thumb again along the lines of Bucky’s palm - “the Labrador mix with the purple collar and one eye?”“What do you wanna tell me?” Bucky asks, and Clint stares at his palm for a moment more before ducking his head and looking up, chewing on his lip.“You’re gonna be happy,” Clint says, and “I’m gonna make you happy.”“Tell me something I don’t know,” Bucky says. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- The leader of the resistance ain’t exactly what Barnes had pictured. They all call him Hawkeye, they call him the Hawk, and he’d expected some old guy, grizzled, pretty clearly fuckin’ deadly. What he got instead -“Aaw, coffee,” Barton said, holding his fatigues up with one hand, welding mask perched incongruously on top of his head. (Coffee it ain’t. Bucky had no clue what Barton’d spilled down himself, but they’d had no coffee for weeks.)He was a young guy. Not war young, not quite whole life ahead of him young, but certainly too young to have all these vets gathered behind him. He couldn’t even grow proper facial hair - shouldn’t be allowed to grow that kinda facial hair - and when his girlfriend/wife whatever gave him a scolding he looked all of twelve years old.(“Fuck,” Barton said, hunted, “don’t call her that.” He considered a moment, then grinned. “Although thanks, for thinking I could.”God help him, but the big blue eyes, the occasional flashes of competence… Bucky did.) ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- More than anything, the man looks tired. He’s good - he must be good, to have made it through the rounds far enough that they think he’ll make a good showing against the Soldier - but he looks like nothing special. He has wide shoulders and a good stance, so stamina but not speed will be a strength. He has sticking plasters in many places and a bandage around one arm, so someone has chosen him to sponsor. He has hair the color of ring-sawdust and eyes the color of a distant corner-caught glimpse of sky. Nothing special. The Soldier watches him. To have him attend training is not unheard of, although it is not frequent. He will not fight; there would be no point to have him fight here, where the audiences are not. But they watch him, all of them, out of the corner of their eyes, the way you would watch a tiger or a vicious dog. The new man - the man who has sold himself to this, who has fought and killed to be here, who must have in that time become vicious and cold - comes to sit next to the Soldier. The Soldier blinks. No on has done that before. “Hey,” the man says. His mouth curls into the friendliest of grins and his eyes crinkle up almost to hide the blue. “Sorry you’re gonna have to kill me.” It could be - a taunt? A means to get him off balance? The strangest method the Soldier has ever heard, perhaps, but he may have been falsely informed that the Soldier can be swayed. “He doesn’t talk,” someone says, passing, though they speed up their steps when the Soldier’s gray eyes snap up to theirs. “Huh,” the man says. “Well that’s shit.” He taps his fingers against the bench, callused skin rasping when it catches. He tenses his arms as if to push himself up and then says, “I’m sorry, man. That you don’t get to escape this.” He pushes to his feet, and the Soldier watches him go. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Tony, where the hell are you?” Steve’s voice is loud on the comms, frantic, and Bucky squeezes his shoulder and then looks up, instantly alert as running feet sound in the corridor outside. Not nearly heavy enough to be - Clint rounds the doorway, flushed and sweating and this really ain’t the time to be noticing that, to be focused on how his hair curls against his temples when it’s damp. “You can’t be here,” Steve says, “Clint, you need to get out of -” but Clint’s ignoring him, flapping a hand absently, studying the case of the bomb that’s steadily ticking down. His eyes flick around the room, looking for anything vaguely useful in the drift of paper, smashed coffee cups, fragmented keyboards. “Clint,” Steve says, leader voice, “you’re not the man for the job here. We can’t have you -” Clint ignores him entirely, rummaging in his pocket and pulling out a handful of loose change. He tosses Bucky a dime. “Flatten it?” Bucky does so against the edge of the metal table, his arm whirring as he applies pressure. He flips it back to Clint, who uses the sharp edge to undo the fiddly fuckin’ screws that are holding the case together, pulling it open with a low satisfied noise. He whistles tunelessly under his breath as he picks at the tangle of wires inside, running his fingers along them. Steve is talking over comms to Tony, but Bucky’s ignoring the noise, focused entirely on what Clint’s doing. There’s always something compelling about Clint when he’s focused, blue eyes narrowed and muscles tensed, ready to take on whatever comes at him. This, though, this is a new kinda competence, and if Bucky’s going out today (00:59, the bomb says, 00:58) he’s okay with going out on a fantasy of Clint in a tool belt and very little else. “Tony’s on his way,” Steve says, tense, and there’s an edge to his voice that says yeah, he’s seen the time left, and yeah, he thinks they’re fucked. “Clint, you should -” “Can you fix it?” Bucky interrupts, and Clint rocks his hand back and forth, thoughtful. “Guy in 4C’s got a Betamax,” he says, “and I managed that one. Also I can put together an Ikea media unit in half an hour and change.” And sure, it sounds like he’s talking a different language, but he’s got the easy tone he gets in his voice when he’s talking targets, and Bucky lets himself lean back against the wall, crosses his arms. “Clint,” Steve says, kinda helpless, but it’s Bucky that Clint turns to, winks at him and holds eye contact as he tugs on a wire. We who are about to die, Bucky thinks, wanna get on our knees for you. The bomb flashes up zeroes, garish and red, and Steve claps Clint on the shoulder and jogs out of the room. Bucky, he stays exactly where he is, and Clint still ain’t breaking eye contact. “I’m… assuming that worked?” Clint says, and grins all wide and real. “I’m great at bombs.” “You’re a fuckin’ genius,” Bucky tells him, and Clint looks like he’s gonna do the ducked head thing he does whenever anyone says something nice, so Bucky grabs him by the nape of the neck, tilts his jaw up with his thumb, and sets about convincing him, hot and emphatic. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- It was a surprisingly involved process. Bucky mostly just followed instructions as Clint reduced passata and pesto, sliced up some weird looking mushrooms which he fried up with garlic and onions, and pulled apart balls of mozzarella. Eventually the whole complicated masterpiece was shoved into Clint’s oven, the whole apartment soaking in the delicious warm smell of slowly cooking pizza. Clint started pulling together the various utensils and boards he’d used, running water into the sink with some dish soap, and Bucky stepped up behind him, placed his hands on Clint’s hips. “Hey, leave something for me to contribute, here,” he said, sliding his hands across to rest on Clint’s belly as the guy automatically rested back against him, tilting his head just a little to one side so Bucky could more easily tuck his chin into the crook of Clint’s neck. “This ain’t exactly what I was expecting.” “I figured you’re worth a little more than take out pizza,” he said, and Bucky pressed him forward enough that he could reach the faucet, turn off the water so it didn’t spill over when he span Clint around, cupped his face and leaned in for the kinda kiss that takes no prisoners, that tells no lies. Clint was all in from the first, arching his back so he was pushed right up against Bucky, the heels of both hands against the back of Bucky’s neck and all of his fingers threaded into long hair. Bucky didn’t even try to bite back the soft sounds that Clint was pulling outta him, wrapping both arms tight around him like someone was gonna try to take him away. He’d gotten used to feeling cold, to his feelings being locked up in a frozen ball in the middle of his chest; Clint had a steady kind of warmth that’d had him melting before he even registered the heat. Now he had trouble cooling off, couldn’t slow it down, Clint pulling away just enough to give him a look that was hot like burning. …wait. “Fuck,” Bucky said, hauling open the oven and shoving his metal hand straight in, pulling out the dark brown carcass of the pizza as Clint used the potholders he’d grabbed to fan smoke away from the alarm on the ceiling that was setting up a high-pitched beeping. “Aaw, pizza,” Clint said, disappointed, wincing a little and adjusting the volume on his aids as Bucky jogged over to open a couple of windows. “I’m sorry, Clint.” He shoved at the window, which was exactly as stubborn as anything belonging to Clint Barton was obliged to be. “That was -”“Worth more than fancy pizza,” Clint cut in, frisbeeing the poor remains of their dinner so it landed neatly on top of Lucky’s bowl. “It’s fine, I’ll order in, Slice Slice Baby has my card on file.” He grins, slow and dark-eyed. “And they take at least a half hour to deliver, if you’re up for a little more distraction.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Pretty sure you’re not supposed to do that in public.” The voice was low, amused, still not quite familiar, since Barnes tended to stay quiet unless he was quietly making asshole comments about practically everything Steve did. Clint liked him already. “Pretty sure anyone out here this time of night is up to something that deserves an arrow in the ass.” He pulled out another arrow, putty-tipped, and fired it into the darkness, not needing to see the tree to know it’d flown true. He’d been at the range until they’d chucked him out, and he hadn’t been ready to go back to the tower; Tony had set him up with Chloe, Clarissa, Chlamydia, whatever her name was, and admitting that he’d been stood up wasn’t something he was looking forward to. “Including you?” Barnes asked. “Including you,” Clint said, and released the tension on the string, putting his last putty arrow back in the quiver. “Big words for a little dick,” Barnes said - fuck it, Bucky, no way Clint was being formal with a guy with that glint in his eye. “Fuck you,” Clint said with a grin, “my dick is plenty adequate.” “Ringing endorsement,” Bucky circled around from where he’d approached, coming into Clint’s sight line with an asshole smirk of his own. “What, you want the Amazon reviews?” “Dick adequate,” Bucky said, his eyes dropping, “but that ass gets two thumbs way up.” “Always liked a man who knows his way around foreplay.” Bucky was full on grinning now, hair tucked behind one ear so Clint could see the beautifully cut line of his jaw. “Amazing what you learn in the army,” he said, and Clint turned to look at him, a slow up and down that didn’t even shoot for subtle. “Wanna handle some privates?” he said, full beaming grin and waggling eyebrows for effect, and Bucky choked on a laugh, the permanent lines that were etched between his brows smoothing out for a moment. Beat a blind date, any day. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Clint’s battered and bruised but beaming as Steve finishes up his faithful rendition of Wonder Woman’s cuffs on the casts on both his wrists. He blows gently over the Sharpie ink to dry it, then crosses his arms over his chest for a picture, because he’s an idiot and Tony’ll do anything for Instagram. “Hold still,” Tony says, and Clint’s gamely grinning along but Bucky can see the lines of strain that’re etching themselves in at the corner of his eyes. “Okay, enough with the attention-seeking,” he says, inwardly kicking himself when it’s Clint who gets caught in the bitching fall-out zone, his face falling. Bucky brushes a hand gently across his hair on his way to ushering Steve and Tony out of their rooms, a silent apology. “Sorry,” Clint says when he comes back in, and Bucky tips his head back, runs a hand through his hair and down to cup the nape of his neck as he looks at Clint. “You got nothing to apologise for, darlin’,” he says, “just figured give you a month and you’ll regret anyone seeing you with that thing on your face.”Clint almost bashes himself in the face as his hand comes up automatically to scratch at his chin. He and Steve have been having some kinda ill-advised beard-off, and much as he loves the man Bucky has to admit that while Steve looks like some kinda English-professor single-dad sex-demon, Clint mostly looks like a bum. “It itches like a son of a bitch,” he confesses, making a resigned face that Bucky’s a sucker for, ‘cos it grinds on him how easy Clint accepts when things ain’t right for him. “C’mon,” he says, jerking his head towards the bathroom. By the time Clint’s limped his way over, Bucky’s filled the basin with gently steaming water and he’s wringing out a hand towel. Clint awkwardly uses the edge of his cast to push the toilet lid down and carefully sits, smiling kinda soft and fond as Bucky tucks a towel around his shoulders and tips him back a little, cradling the back of Clint’s neck as he tilts his head back enough that the hot towel won’t fall right back off again. Bucky wets his shaving brush and starts working up a pine-scented lather. Clint always makes fun of him for being old-fashioned, preferring his foam to come outta a steel can, but he’s quiet and compliant as Bucky tosses the towel into the bathtub and gently works the brush over his face. Bucky’s using his metal hand for that part so he can feel the warmth of Clint’s skin as he tilts his head a little, brushes his thumb against his temple. Clint hums softly when Bucky moves down to his neck, his eyes falling half-closed, and it probably ain’t the most appropriate time to be getting hard but Bucky’s never had much truck with social convention. There’s no urgency to it in any case, just a faint buzz of arousal that’s linked directly to Clint easy under his hands, the low groan he lets out when Bucky brushes along the line of his jaw. He puts the brush down with a gentle click of wood against ceramic, and grips the handle of the razor but doesn’t go to pick it up. “You scared the shit outta me,” he says, quiet against the background of the bathroom fan. Clint hums again, familiar two-tone intonation, and Bucky turns and leans back against the counter. “You don’t have to apologise,” he says, a little snappy, “I’m not gonna stop you from doing your job. I just -” he breathes out, long and slow, and hitches his mouth into half a smile that’s only telling half a lie. “You scared the shit outta me, Barton.” He walks back over and Clint tilts up into it when Bucky leans down to press a kiss against his forehead, the kind of sappy shit that he’d never do outside of these rooms. Words’re too heavy right now, and he’d rather wait until Clint can answer back, but the three words he’s been carrying around heavy as lead since that wall fell where Clint was standing, since, if he’s honest, weeks earlier than that, they ease up a little when he pulls away and the lather’s all crooked where Clint is smiling. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Tony poked at the gauntlet thoughtfully, only half listening to Clint. To be fair, half his attention was still a pretty substantial amount, and if he was getting paid to do this he’d own Clint’s building about seven times over by now. “You’re sure?” Clint asked, and Tony looked up at him, squinting against the sunlight. “I am 100% positive that his arm is waterproof, yes.” Clint chewed on his lip, thoughtfully, and Tony rolled his eyes and wished he still had staff at the mansion, ‘cos he could really go for some kinda ice-based dessert right about now, and playing on Clint’s guilt complex was apparently ‘bullying’. “Okay, so how about the chlorine?” Clint asked, his brow furrowed with genuine concern. “That’s not gonna cause him any problems down the line, right?” “Like what?” “I dunno!” Clint spread his hands, dramatic movement showing how much he was working himself up over this. “I’m not the science guy, Tony. Rusting? Pitting?”“Okay first,” Tony said, gesturing emphatically with the screwdriver, “I am offended that you think I’d build anything that could rust when exposed to something as pathetic as chlorinated water, and second -”“Yeah, yeah,” Clint said, “blah blah never question your genius, blah.” He shot Tony a wide open smile that kinda took him aback for a second, made him realize how rare it was. “Thanks, Tony.” “The hell was that about,” Tony muttered under his breath, then heard a whoop. “EAT POOL, ASSHOLE!” There was a huge splash, enormous enough to soak dark spots into the fabric of Tony’s robe. From the pool there was more frantic splashing, then Barnes’ furious swearing as Clint cackled madly, retreating into the distance. Someone seriously had to have a word with that guy about healthy ways to express a goddamn interest. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- The regular smack of a baseball against palms punctuates the conversation, familiar voices low and easy, soaked through with the warm exhaustion of a good workout. “I don’t know if crowds are a great idea,” Steve says, and there’s a soft noise of assent. Bucky’s got pretty used to recognising Clint when he’s sub-verbal, and he pauses just outside the doorway, curious what his two favorite people have to discuss. Clint clicks his tongue, way he always does when he’s thinking. “Okay, so no baseball, no football -”“You could maybe go for a batting cage?” Steve offers. “He was always playing stickball with the neighborhood kids.” “You think he’ll react well to balls flying at his face?” “Well if he doesn’t,” Steve says, a soft grunt of effort as he tosses the ball back, “that’s gotta be tough for your social life.” He grunts again, the smack of baseball against palm considerably louder, and laughs while a couple of gentle thuds suggest that throw pillows are following the baseball over. “You’re an asshole, Steven Rogers,” Clint says, and his tone is admiring more than anything. “An asshole with a date,” Steve says, rustle of clothing as he gets up, heads over towards the elevators. “See you later.”Clint grunts acknowledgement, tossing the ball up and catching it, and Bucky can just picture him, the way he’ll have tipped his head back against the back of the chair, slouched down with one battered sneaker resting on the coffee table. He walks through the door on silent feet, reaching out to catch the baseball before it can drop into Clint’s hand. His smile is beautiful, even upside down, and Bucky bends over far enough that he can kiss Clint, clumsy and perfect. “I’ll do pretty much anything,” he says, “so long as it’s with you.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Look, Clint’s not scared of the Winter Soldier, he’s just got a healthy respect for the guy, okay? Thing is, the Soldier is the story that’s told to little baby assassins when they’re tucked up into bed at night, and whether it’s a good story or a bad story depends on who’s doing the telling; no one can deny that the man has skills. And yeah, maybe little baby Clint had nursed a little baby crush, but that had lasted until Tasha had showed him her scar and told him her story, ‘cos there’s very little that’s attractive about a man without mercy. Of course, now he’s gotten to know a little of the history there, he’s learned that Bucky Barnes was never exactly in the Soldier’s driving seat, and Bucky Barnes has eyes that can look into your very soul and make it pant for him, so. Clint’s kinda conflicted. Feelings are hard, okay? This is why he prefers pizza. “Four cheeses,” he says, a low mutter that’s getting a little frantic with the repetition, “margherita, meat lovers, sloopy Giuseppe, meateor, Hawaiian, fuck the veggie supreme. Four cheeses, margherita, meat -”“Love it if you’d quit with the recitation, Tweetie Pie,” Tony says, abrupt and kinda pissy over the ear piece. “We are all of us hungry, friend archer,” Thor agrees, “yet once we are done here we will feast like kings.” “Hawkeye’s just really into pizza,” Natasha says, a little smirk in her voice ‘cos she knows him way too well, and they both know what pizza’s code for, right now. It’s hard (aheh) enough on a regular mission. Bucky’s the bad boy of the superhero biz, leather jacket and metal arm and a focused intensity to his walk that has led to several very satisfying showers. Bucky’s hair brushes Bucky’s jaw-line in a way that Clint is deeply envious of, and he’s mentioned his eyes, right? Jesus Christ, Bucky’s eyes. But right now he’s lying on his front on a rooftop, six foot somethin’ of murderous intent, and there’s a tiny ginger kitten that’s butting up against his ear, mewling demandingly for Winter Soldier scritches. “Quattro fuckin’ fromagio,” Clint curses. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Holy shit don’t do that!”Clint collapses back against his apartment door, clutching at his chest, and maybe it’s a little over dramatic but he challenges anyone not to react the same way when they find an assassin in the shadows.“Should I just give you a key?”The Soldier frowns, processing for a second.“Why?”It’s a fair question. It’s not like he’s ever had any problems getting in.“So why are you here?” Clint makes his way over to the kitchen counter, dumps the paper bag and transfers the six-pack straight over to the refrigerator. “Should I have stocked up on bandages at CVS or…?”“I’m good,” the Soldier says, which is maybe a sign of how much he’s been around lately - ‘functioning optimally,’ when coming out of a mouth Clint’s been kinda fantasising about, that's just creepy. “Are you?”This, this is a new thing they’ve been working on, basic conversation skills. Clint hasn’t quite sunk to the level of scooby snax, but he does crack the Soldier open a beer. (Their fingers brush a little when he hands it over. He’s trying not to think about it.)Clint hesitates for a second, lets out a breath.“Sure,” he says. “I’m fine.”The Soldier regards him for a moment, almost makes something that looks like an expression.“Sure,” he echoes, and his voice is flat and toneless and still somehow calling Clint a liar. Without another word, he turns on his heel and heads for the window, climbing out with an effortless economy of motion that may or may not stick Clint’s tongue to the roof of his mouth.Clint swears under his breath, not sure what he’s done but sure he regrets it. He lifts his head, startled, when the Soldier climbs carefully back through.He’s got a cardboard box in his hands that he carries right over to Clint, and it’s making tiny cheeping noises like baby birds or -“Kittens?” He gapes down at them, trying to process how the fuck this became his life.“You - looked sad,” the Soldier says, as awkward as he’s ever been.“We talked about you following me,” Clint says absently, but the little black one is yawning and he just can’t summon the required level of pissed. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “…seriously?” Clint says, kinda incredulous, as yet another woman takes one look at him and hurries off in the other direction. Steve’s got a queue that stretches around the block; Tony bribed Rhodey to replace him five minutes in and his might be even longer; even Bruce has had a respectable showing. Clint, whose idea this had freaking been? Nothing. Nada. Zilch. He hauls himself up onto the wooden counter and kicks his heels, feeling kinda sorry for himself. Sure, he’s aware that he doesn’t make much of a showing against actual superheroes, but no one? There’s a glint of metal in the distance and he perks up a little, figuring that there’s got to be some perks to being in an actual committed relationship, but all Bucky has done so far is stand nearby and glare at anyone who looks like they might dare to approach. He looks Clint up and down, taking in the slumped posture and the empty jar that was supposed to hold his takings. The genuine amusement stings. “Yeah, okay,” Clint says dolefully, “you’re the only one crazy enough to wanna kiss me. Don’t rub it in.” “You’re an idiot,” Bucky tells him flatly, and pulls a piece of paper out of his pocket, shoving it into Clint’s jar. “An IOU?” Clint asks, offended. “You can’t give a kissing boo- oh wow. That’s a lot of zeroes.” “Yup,” Bucky tells him, matter of fact, and bends so he can shove his metal shoulder into Clint’s middle, hauling him over his shoulder and stalking away from the booth. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Bucky was sitting curled up on the floor when Clint got back, which wasn’t on its own a cause for concern; Clint had found him far weirder places. He didn’t lift his head, though, just grunted a greeting, his hands buried in Lucky’s fur. Lucky was draped across his lap, blissful and half asleep, his tail thumping lazily against the floor, and Lucky mostly preferred his bed in the corner on everything but the bad days. “Aaw, Buck,” Clint said, and left the groceries on the couch, dropping down to sit by Bucky and curling a careful arm around his shoulders. “What did I say about watching it without me, huh?” “Sorry,” Bucky said, dragging in a snotty breath and scrubbing a hand across his eyes. “I know I shoulda waited -”“I’ve seen it a million times.” Clint spoke fast, dismissive, wanting Bucky to understand that that really wasn’t the issue. He ached to tilt Bucky’s chin up, to wipe his thumb under his eyes, but Bucky wasn’t there yet. Even this was progress, to find him still here, to find him willing to be touched. “I just didn’t want you -” he gestured vaguely. “A fuckin’ mess,” Bucky said. “I couldn’t even get to the end, the first time.” Clint let his hand drift up to rest on the back of Bucky’s head and Bucky moved with it, leaning in until their temples were resting together. “When Chance and Sassy are back, and Peter’s just waiting -”“Yeah,” Bucky said, his voice thick. “Yeah, I couldn’t - I turned it off.” “Aaw, Buck,” Clint said, “sweetheart.” He turned his head so he could press a kiss to Bucky’s cheekbone, could taste salt on his lips. “C’mon on back on the couch, okay?”“Why?”But Clint was already pushing a little at Lucky, who was always quick to take a hint. He awkwardly got to his feet and held out his hands to Bucky, who regarded him through red-rimmed eyes. “C’mon,” Clint said, “you trust me, right? I swear, this one’s worth sticking with right through ‘til the end.” “Yeah,” Bucky said, something odd in his voice. “Yeah, I’m starting to get that.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Bucky’s already named the kitten, so Clint’s aware that he’s fucked. Admittedly, he’s called it Dum-Dum, but he insists that it’s a term of affection - at least, that’s what he says every time he’s said it to Clint. They’ve had a grace period, a couple days when Lucky’s been at Katie-Kate’s, selfies of beach walks and dumb sunglasses, some kinda fashion show involving the dog. It’s been for the best, ‘cos they’ve had the time to get used to the kitten crying outside the door, to get the kitten used to sleeping in the fancy-ass bed Bucky bought for her. Bucky had been kinda distracted, at first, had wanted to let her in, but Clint had had to experience the full glory of a soaking wet Bucky Barnes, with rainwater lovingly tracing the line of his neck, curled protectively over a tiny sad kitten. He had a freaking mission, okay, and he managed to distract Bucky pretty goddamn thoroughly by the time he was through. Grace period is over, though. Kate’s brought the dog back, and this is the crunch time, and Clint’s not gonna lie he’s a little invested in the outcome of this. Because he’s honestly not sure if Bucky would pick him over the kitten, at this point, but he’s worryingly convinced that Bucky would win out over Lucky, and that’s not something he thought he would ever say. So Clint’s crouching down holding Lucky’s collar, his fingers curled tight, when Bucky comes down the stairs. He’s forgotten to wear a shirt, and his little grin says he’s noticing that Clint’s noticing that he’s forgotten to wear a damn shirt, and his washed-gray sweatpants are barely sticking to his hips. And curled up in his metal hand, peering curiously through lethal fingers, the tiny calico kitten that he’d climbed into a storm drain to save. She’s purring fit to bust, Clint can hear her from all the way over here, and there’s a distinct possibility that Clint’s gonna die from it. It’ll make for a good eulogy. Lucky cocks his head to one side and Clint wraps an arm around him, holding tight, fingers buried in his fur. “Hey,” he says, all soft and soothing, “hey buddy, we’re gonna stay calm, right? We’re gonna just sit here all gentle and quiet, and we’re gonna be really really still, and we’re not gonna eat the tiny kitten and make Bucky hate us forever, okay?”Bucky comes to a halt, almost close enough to touch, and he extends his hand a little. Definitely not close enough for Lucky to reach, but close enough he can strain forward and sniff, can open his mouth wide in a beaming grin. The kitten looks haughtily unconcerned about the giant scruffy hairy thing that’s staring at her - and she doesn’t seem that bothered by the dog, either. “Tentative success?” “Tentative success,” Bucky answers, and he crouches down so he can bring Dum-Dum a little closer, so Lucky can sniff over her head. He’s always been good with other animals, and Clint had been mostly sure it’d be okay, but he still lets out a sigh of relief when Dum-Dum curls up in Bucky’s palm and to all appearances, goes to sleep. Lucky rests his chin on Bucky’s fingers, watching the tiny ball of fluff, and Clint grins up at Bucky, gentle and close. “Think he’s in love,” he says, and Bucky lets out a breath. “Yeah,” he says. “Might be.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Clint dropped onto the couch, remembering too late about the electrical burns on his side and wincing, jerking upright. Behind him he could hear Bucky squelching across to the kitchen, to the pile of clean laundry on one of the bar stools, and he let out a long breath and rubbed a hand over his face and back through his hair. “Well,” he said. “That sucked.” It had started so damn well, too. Clint had chosen his clothes carefully: grey suit, thin tie, pocket square - all a little bit Dean Martin, a little bit suave. When you’re dating a genuine wartime pin-up it’s a hell of a boost to the ego to leave him speechless, and Clint had attempted a little spin and a glide to get over to Bucky, to reach up and gently push his mouth closed for him. Bucky had been a little more casual, black pants and a sinfully soft black knitted sweater, his hair tied back at the base of his neck. Still the most beautiful thing Clint’d ever seen, and letting that slide out all over-earnest and embarrassing had been worth it for the way it’d brought a little pink into Bucky’s cheeks. Clint’d pulled out all the stops, ‘cos this thing - if you counted the way Clint counted, from first kisses and shared grins, and ignored the part where they fucked around and never quite got to putting a name on it - this thing had lasted a year, now. He’d planned dinner, and drinks, and dancing, and hadn’t thought to plan for giant goddamn robots and an evil genius, ‘cos he was an idiot and an optimist, and had foolishly decided that life owed him a break. There was a gentle splat as Bucky discarded his clothes in the sink, and then the rustle of fabric as he pulled on sweatpants and one of Clint’s purple shirts. Then he rounded the couch and extended a hand, resisting when Clint tried to pull him down next to him. “Pretty sure you promised me dancing,” he said with a little grin, the hopelessly earnest one that had a direct line into Clint’s chest, tugging hard and causing all sorts of havoc in there. “Way tonight’s going, I’ll probably break your leg,” Clint warned, hauling himself to his feet with a little supersoldier assistance that overbalanced him, sent him straight into Bucky’s arms. “That’ll just make it easier, fallin’ for you,” Bucky said, and Clint gaped at him a second. “Holy shit, Barnes,” he said, genuinely awed. “That was smooth.” Bucky’s grin spread a little, smug and stupid and satisfied, and he pulled Clint in close, pressing their cheeks together and resting his hand warm and firm right in the small of Clint’s back. Wasn’t much more than a shuffle, barest movement in the low light, and Clint opened his mouth and crooned, gentle and low, “ I’m a sentimental sap, that’s allWhat’s the use of trying not to fall?” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Holy -” Clint’s voice was hushed, awed. “Holy shit, who made this?” He took another sip, and it was only then that he noticed the guy sitting at the table, sipping from his own mug of the goddamn heavenly coffee and smirking. “It’s not real coffee unless it’s climbing the sides of the mug,” he said, and Clint had no idea what the hell his face was doing but the guy’s smile widened, which was just unfair to the structural integrity of Clint’s heart. And pants. “Marry me?” Clint said, pathetic and hopeful, clutching his mug to his chest like it was all that was keeping him alive. The guy looked him up and down, gray eyes sharp and thoughtful and smile turning wicked. “No can do, but I’ll suck you off if you give me one of the croissants Steve says you’re hiding.” The man himself entered the room at that point, pinching the bridge of his nose in what looked like genuine pain. “Bucky, you are not in the goddamned army any more, you can’t just say shit like that.” Bucky - what the hell kinda name was Bucky? - grinned. “Just did.” He dropped a wink at Clint, slouched back in his seat, crossed his legs at the ankle; he looked, in short, like the embodiment of dirty back-alley sex, the kind that was so good you sorta hoped it’d kill you. “You in?” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Clint was sprawled against one of the walls when Bucky walked in, stripping the film off a fresh pack of cards. Opposite him, against the back of the couch, was a pop tart box, empty of food and full of discarded cards, a joker leering up at Bucky from on top.The level of focus on Clint’s face would’ve been enough to let Bucky know he was wasted, even without the empty bottles beside him. He looked up, comically surprised, when Bucky slid down the wall next to him, crossing his arms on top of his raised knees.“So I’m guessin’ the date didn’t go so good?” He said.Clint shrugged and flicked a card that dropped straight into the box, no rebound.“Wouldn’t know,” he said, “I thought it went okay, but apparently she’s not looking for dating right now.”“So she went out with you, why?”Clint snorted and flicked another card.“Can you ask for feedback, you think? Like after a job interview.” He tapped his card against his teeth, thoughtful. “Not that I’ve had one of those, either.”“You’d just get the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ spiel,” Bucky said, and Clint rolled his head against the wall to look at him, fuzzy and kinda sad.“You think?” He asked.“Well it’s sure as hell nothing wrong with you,” he said, and his voice had dropped to something low and intimate without his say-so, something that gave too much away. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Tony was off at some fancy party thing, and Tasha regarded 4am pizza as some kinda abomination. Everyone else was superpowered, or a god, so it was just Clint that got hit with the food poisoning, hunched over the toilet bowl and praying for death. “Well this is more familiar than I’d like it,” said a voice from the doorway, and Clint groaned and spat and slumped a little more. “If you could just. Just not. That’d be great.” Bucky picked his way into the room, making his way past Clint’s crumpled and sweat-stained sweater and filling the glass that was by the sink. “Here,” he said, and handed over the glass, and Clint moved carefully to sit beside the toilet, resting his head back against the cold tile wall and shivering a little. “I coulda got that,” he said, and Bucky rolled his eyes. “Yeah yeah, you don’t need anyone, you can do it all yourself, I know the drill.” “So you can go then,” Clint said, and yeah, okay, that was a little abrupt, but seeing your sometime fuck-buddy puking his guts up was a pretty good way to make sure it was a no-time no-how fuck-buddy situation, and Clint was a little too hung up already to want that to happen any time soon. It was inevitable he’d screw it up sooner than later, but he’d rather something a little more suave than Giovanni’s finest coming between them. Bucky shoved up to his feet and walked out, wordless, and Clint felt a little like crying, in the way that only stupid helpless sickness made you. He washed out his mouth and spat in to the toilet, then sipped carefully, slowly, desperate to call this done and go to bed. He had his eyes shut, and Bucky was an assassin and all, so the first thing he knew about the guy’s return was the draping of soft fluffiness around his shoulders. Bucky cupped the back of his neck and gently propped him up a little, so he could properly wrap the blanket around, and then brushed sweaty hair away from his face. Clint ducked down into the blanket, ‘cos now he really felt like crying, like a little kid that wanted their mom, and he couldn’t let Bucky see that. “Hey,” Bucky said, low and painfully gentle, and he squashed himself in next to Clint, rubbed gentle circles against his back, pulled him in until Clint was leaning against him. “You don’t haveta -”Bucky cut him off. “Yeah, I do. You and Stevie, man. I’m a sucker for tragic blonds.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “How much of that did you hear?” There was a slight movement by his foot, but no other acknowledgement. Clint slid down the wall to sit, reaching over with one hand to pet gently, like that was gonna make this any better. “Look, you gotta know, me and your dad - we love each other, okay? No matter how much we shout, that’s always gonna be…” He sighed, and his hand fell still. “No matter how much I screw up.”Clint let out a long breath and leaned his head back against the wall. “‘cos I screwed up, and I can acknowledge that. I do get that. I’m just not -” his chin was rough when he scratched at it: a night on the couch, cleaning up in the guest bathroom. “I’m not so good when people are yelling. Brings out the stubborn, and once that happens I can’t pull it back until we’re done. And I can’t -” He let the silence tick by for a time. “Done’s never gonna come from me. Not with your dad. I’ll die before I’m done with him.” There was a mutter of low swearing from the kitchen, and Clint bit his lip. “How much of that did you hear?” he said. “Quit talking to the Roomba, you asshole,” Bucky said, “and come here and kiss me.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “I can’t keep kissing strangers and pretending that they’re you.” Bucky jerked upright, almost kneeing Clint in the head as he glared down at him accusingly, then across at Steve. “And how many missions require you kissin’ other people, huh?” Steve rolled his eyes and flipped a page in the newspaper, rustling it as he settled back in front of himself. “None,” he said. “Hey!” Clint protested, genuinely pissed now. “And how the hell else was I supposed to react to that heiress with the backstory you gave me?” Steve squinted thoughtfully. “…okay, maybe one. But we’re a man down until you agree to a debriefing with Coulson, Buck, you know -” “And that security guy,” Clint continued, on a roll now, “that was - you didn’t pull him off me for at least a minute, and I heard you taking pictures, asshole.” “Steve,” Bucky growled, and Clint got a little shiver of sensation deep in his gut, always a little ashamed of the way he reacted when Bucky got protective. “Yeah, okay -”“And Maria Flores,” Clint said helpfully. “For god’s sake, Clint, she was five.” “And very demanding,” Clint said. “Fuck you, Stevie,” Bucky said, and slid out from under Clint, and for all the anger in his voice he still made sure to shove a cushion in his place. “I’m talkin’ to Coulson. No way you guys are going out without me again.” “You see me arguing?” Steve asked, pushing himself out of the armchair and following. He made sure Bucky was out of sight before gently slapping Clint’s raised palm. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Clint is all whispered words and interwoven fingers and Bucky gets the inexplicable urge - no matter how uncomfortable he is right now, physically, emotionally - to laugh. If only ‘cos maybe it’ll stop him from crying. It’s not - it doesn’t hurt, not exactly, but it doesn’t feel good yet, although if the way Clint’s breathing is any indication, he’s getting something out of it at least. But Bucky’s not used to this. He doesn’t know how to deal with someone being so gentle with him, ‘cos most people look at him and see someone who could kick their asses. And Clint sees that, too - Clint knows full well that Bucky could kick his ass, ‘cos he’s done it, and Clint is a little shit so no doubt he’ll do it again. But Clint’s maybe the first person who’s looked past that. Someone who took him to the carnival and won him bullshit prizes, someone who held his hand, someone who could see under the glare to the places he was hurting. Bucky shifts under Clint, arching his back a little, ‘cos the friction of it all is causing a kind of heat inside him, and it’s starting to feel - it’s not - he doesn’t have words for it, but he’s so goddamn glad he’s doing this with Clint. He lifts one hand - when did he start shaking? - and wraps it around the back of Clint’s neck, pushing back a little with Clint’s movements. “Ah, fuck,” Clint whispers, “aaw, Buck.” And that does pull a little giggle out of him, one that Clint captures in his mouth, panting unevenly against his lips in place of an actual kiss. Bucky pushes up a little to deepen the kiss and then keens, sudden and fuckin’ loud, ‘cos all of a sudden Clint’s all pressed up against something inside him that - Holy shit. Clint grins against his mouth, tilts his hips just right that he can lay him down and still hit that spot that’s tightening everything up inside his belly, that’s pushing him towards -“Clint,” he says, breathless and helpless and, “Clint, baby, fuck, I love you,” and Clint’s eyes go wide and his movement stutters and Bucky is gonna make fun of him forever for this ‘cos - ‘cos that’s what you do with the things that are too goddamn important to treat seriously, the feeling of Clint jerking inside him, the feel of his hand wrapped around Bucky, the way everything else in the universe fucking fades. Clint holds him close before he pulls out, tucks his face against the side of Bucky’s neck, his nose stirring the sweat damp hair. And his breathing is ragged in a way that’s maybe not just exertion, and Bucky gets that, his eyes stinging as he breathes a laugh into Clint’s hair. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- The last DoomBot goes down in a shower of sparks and Clint whoops, throwing his arms in the air. “FORTY SEVEN, BABY,” he yells, ‘cos everyone had heard his comms die with a sad fizzle when he got chucked in the harbor. “EAT MY BEAUTIFUL PURPLE ASS!”“That’s what you were gonna ask for?” Bucky asks, “‘cos I hate to break it to ya sugar but I got forty eight.” “Okay one, bullshit you did,” Clint says. “you don’t even have your rifle, and b) that wasn’t the prize I had in mind, actually.” He blurts it out all brazen, but there’s this odd sorta look in his eyes, maybe a little like relief. “Found a grenade launcher,” Bucky says, “forty eight. What were you gonna -”“You won,” Clint interrupts, and there’s a little pink in his cheeks which has Bucky all kinds of intrigued. “Dealer’s choice.” “Okay,” Bucky says. “Last night you had my tongue up your ass, the hell has you all -”Clint goes all steel-eyed and focused in a way that’s hot as hell, and Bucky has all of a millisecond to wonder if he’s gonna get punched before Clint grabs an arrow out of his quiver and lunges forward, burying it in the eye socket of a ‘Bot that’s fizzing and crackling where it had already taken one of Bucky’s rounds to the chest. “Huh,” Bucky says. “Forty seven, then, I guess.”“Aaw,” Clint says almost too soft to hear. “Forty eight.” “So,” Bucky says, while he ducks down to check that the ‘Bot’s actually destroyed this time, ‘cos he’s not sure Clint wants him to see his face. “What’s the prize?” He can see the uncomfortable movement out the corner of his eye, the way Clint’s rubbing the back of his neck the way he does when he’s feeling uncertain. “I, er.” Clint scuffs his toe against the rooftop. “It’s not something we’ve - you can say no.” “That’s always been the deal,” Bucky says, “I haven’t forgot.” Clint lets out a breath, quick and unsteady. “I want you to kiss me,” he says. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Bucky pinched the bridge of his nose, and he hoped it looked like ‘I am done with your bullshit and about ready to kill you’ rather than what it actually was. He took a few paces away, ran a hand through his hair and unobtrusively tapped his comm. “Clint,” he said, voice low, “get off the damned playground equipment.” “Aaw,” Clint said, and Bucky watched as his shirt gave up the battle with gravity and flopped over his face. “But -”“How exactly are you watching my ass when you’re upside down on the monkey bars?” “I’m always watching your ass, baby,” Clint said, upside down finger guns and all. Bucky let out a heavy sigh and returned to his contact, who was still looking shifty and uncomfortable just from the force of Bucky’s glare. “The name?” he said, low and implacable. “Look, I - this isn’t some sort of - don’t you have something to offer in exchange? I’m putting my job - quite possibly my life on the line for this, and I -”“Name,” Bucky said, and the man let out a soft whimper. He was going for the intimidating stare, but Clint had apparently made a friend; he was doing chin-ups on the side of the jungle gym with a kid sitting on his bent legs. She was tiny and solemn and had a little butterfly pinned to the end of every thin braid, and she sat on Clint’s lap with all the confidence of a queen on her throne. Something in Bucky’s chest was kinda sore, a sweet and warm and expansive ache that had him struggling not to soften. “I must insist that -”“You insist all you like,” Bucky said, “and I’ll show you exactly how many ways I can make you beg for mercy without any of these nice people noticing.” Four. He was pretty sure four. Five, if the ice-cream van had enough ice. “I - I -”The guy was panicking now, and somewhere in the distance Clint was playing some kinda clapping game that ended abruptly as he launched to his feet, taking a few strides away, nocking an arrow quicker than a heart beat and letting it fly even as Bucky caught the flash of silver and knocked the knife out of the guy’s hand. Clint’s taser arrow caught him in the back of his neck, and Bucky zip-tied his hands together and headed over to where Clint was apparently getting mobbed. “It’s okay, mom,” Clint’s tiny friend was saying, “he’s a ‘venger.” “I swear I’m a professional,” Clint said. He fumbled in his pocket and held up the official cards Tony’d made them after one too many incidents like this. “Got a license and everything.” “C’mon, d-ink,” Bucky said, grabbing Clint by the upper arm and tugging gently, “we gotta get him back to base.” “Sorry,” Clint said, and waved at his tiny friend with a grin. “Coulson’s gonna have my ass, huh?” “Nope,” Bucky said, stopping briefly to haul the guy over his shoulder, “got dibs.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Was this all just a game to you?” Clint looked a little like he’d been smacked around the head, which wasn’t so unusual for him when it came to relationship talk. “Woah, what?” he said, hands raised and baby blues wide and injured, and Bucky just took another long drink of his beer, wishing idly for something harder. This one was called Erika, she was a nurse, she was tall and beautiful and smart, and Tony and Sam had been betting how long it was gonna last, this time, ‘cos Clint’s track record was a demolition derby. Right now she looked furious, and she poked a finger into Clint’s chest. “Look, if you’re poly, that was all you had to say. It’s not for me but I don’t have a problem with it -”“Wait -” but she was on a roll, and Clint was bulldozed, mouth open and expression lost. Bucky winced a little and look away. “- but I do take fucking exception to you asking me on a date and then bringing your boyfriend.” Helpless, his eyes snapped back up to Clint’s face, and this time he looked - he looked wrecked. His eyes moved automatically to meet Bucky’s, and Bucky couldn’t even begin to work out what the hell he was seeing in there; whatever it was Clint didn’t want him to see it, if the way his eyes dropped was any indication. “Look,” he said, “Erika, I think you’ve got the wrong - we’re not - he’s not -”“He’s not,” she repeated, precise and cold, like she was picking up the word with tweezers. “But you are, right?” All of the fight just drained right outta Clint and he slumped down into the chair opposite Bucky, dropping his head into his hands. “Fuck,” he hissed out, more a lost breath than anything, like someone had just punched him right in the gut. Erika looked at him for a moment, shook her head and grabbed her bag. “Nice meeting you, James,” she said, her tone cutting like a knife. “Just - just give me a second,” Clint mumbled, “one second, and I’ll -”“You’re a fuckin’ idiot,” Bucky told him, pissed as hell and still somehow smiling, not sure whether to smack him or kiss his stupid face. “I know,” Clint said into the palms of his hands, “I tried not to but -” “Not for that,” Bucky said, and he hooked his foot around the back of Clint’s ankle and yanked, knocking him off balance so he finally looked up. So he finally saw the grin on Bucky’s face. “You owe Erika some goddamn flowers,” Bucky told him, draining his beer. “And from now on, no dating anyone but me.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Steve was attempting to ease him into the outside world, one step at a time. He’d started with libraries, little coffee shops, independent record stores, places where people could keep to themselves and interaction was optional. After that it was museums, art galleries, guided tours and Sam setting him goals like ‘ask about prices’ and ‘introduce yourself to someone’ and ‘say something pretentious about art’. Sam was always setting him goals, ‘cos Sam was a dick. Today it was the aquarium, and Steve hadn’t been satisfied with them just wandering around the dimly lit corridors, no. Steve insisted Bucky buy them tickets for the show, that he make at least three choices about where to sit, whether to get snacks, whatever. Bucky almost punched the spotty kid behind the counter in the face, admittedly, but he got it done, and - Okay, so he’d been reluctantly impressed. One of the guys was practically an acrobat, freckled and sun-bleached blond, demonstrating the tricks he wanted the sea-lion to try and turning it into a kind of comedy routine, dropping shit and getting it stolen and tumbling over things. Bucky’d got a little distracted watching him move, watching how well he filled out the sleeveless wetsuit, and Steve’d been watching him with a smirk when he’d finally dragged his attention away. Steve was following a tour, now, some kinda timeline of the ocean, and Bucky was… possibly lost. He wasn’t committed to it, yet, ‘cos he thought he recognised the corridor up ahead, but there was a possibility he hadn’t been meant to go through that unmarked closed door - “I’m a shaaaaaark,” someone was tonelessly singing, accompanied by the slapping of a mop, “I’m a shaaaaaark -”Bucky approached warily, rounding the corner to see the guy who’d been so goddamn flexible at the side of the display pool. He was dressed like all the other aquarium employees now, purple polo and cargo shorts, and the sway of his hips as he bopped with the mop was a little hypnotic. “Suck my diiiiiiiiiiiiiiick, I’m a shaaaaaaaaark.”“Buy me dinner first,” Bucky said, and the guy spun around and abruptly lost his balance, landing ass first in the mop bucket. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- "Look, this ain’t exactly my wheelhouse,” Bucky said, and Clint moved aside to let him in, still kinda wide-eyed about the flowers that Bucky had thrust at him. He shoved them onto the counter, some of the petals falling off and lying there pathetically, and Bucky debated whether sweeping them into the trash was too metaphorical for words. “Okay?” Clint said, and he was looking at Bucky a little like he was crazy, and a little like he was cute, and the combination was - whatever, he was wearing it well. “Flowers, candy, dancing.” Bucky shrugged. “That and quick fumbled back-alley fucks, that’s my romantic experience, and maybe I’m an idiot but that ain’t what I want from you.” “Pretty sure that’s the most romantic thing anyone’s ever said to me,” Clint said, and Bucky gave him the finger but that didn’t stop Clint easing in, sliding his hands onto Bucky’s hips. “No,” he said, and his voice was gentle enough to be a little unfamiliar, like Bucky didn’t recognise it without the teasing. “No, I’m serious,” he said. “Yeah, well,” Bucky said, “that’s me. Regular Casanova.”“Consider me wooed,” Clint said, and pressed a wet kiss to the side of Bucky’s neck, right where a traced tongue’d send a shiver all the way down his spine. “You got a vase?” Bucky said, feeling a little like an idiot again but jeez, those things had been five dollars, he didn’t want them to go to waste. “Let’s put ‘em in Sam’s room,” Clint said, and Bucky jerked away from him, folding his arms across his chest. “Why the hell would I want to -”Clint grinned, a slow grin, the kind of wicked that promised all kinds of beautiful in the bedroom. “‘cos,” he said, “I’m pretty sure he’s allergic.” And fuck how cheesy it was, break out the candy, ‘cos Bucky was pretty sure he was in love. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “It’s three in the morning.” “I know I’m from the past,” Bucky said, “but clocks were still around.” If he was gonna categorise his tone of voice he’d go with maybe ‘pissy’, although an argument could be made for ‘pissed’. Clint shuffled a little further into the room, the sweatpants he’d stolen from Bucky flapping around his ankles, tied tight around his narrow waist. He had his arms wrapped across his chest ‘cos Bucky had a comforter and wasn’t gonna spend money he didn’t need to on heat. “You gonna come to bed?” The cast on Clint’s wrist was bright white in the reflected TV light, and the bruises on his side could be confused for shadows by anyone who wasn’t Bucky, anyone who hadn’t learned every line of them as he waited for Clint to wake. “I’m mad at you,” Bucky said, flat and honest, and he refused to be swayed by Clint’s flinch. “Yeah, I know,” he said, “I’m sorry.” “What, no justification?” Bucky snapped, but it was mostly from surprise, ‘cos Clint didn’t back down like this, not on something he believed was right, not unless someone was telling him the lies about himself that Clint always believed, and that was never something Bucky’d do. “Doc said no missions until the cast comes off, I ignored her, I got my ass kicked,” Clint said, which was a pretty accurate summary of events. “Pretty much a dick move.” “You’re an asshole,” Bucky muttered, but maybe Clint could hear him relenting ‘cos he drifted a little closer, hooked his fingers around a hank of hair and tucked it behind Bucky’s ear. “I’m sorry I scared you,” Clint said, and Bucky reached for the angry denial and found nothing but truth in its place. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Oh god, Buck, no.” Stevie has one hand over his eyes but he’s laughing, mouth wide and crows feet cutting through the rainbow someone’s painted onto his cheek. “Sun’s out, guns out,” Bucky says, and hauls his shirt off over his head, shoving it into the back pocket of his shorts. The scars ain’t exactly pretty, but he’s made an effort to make up for it - his abs are a work of freakin’ art, and he’s not afraid to take - heh - pride in that. Stevie’s still rocking the AVER shirt, ‘cos his boy Sam’s a campaigner for American Veterans for Equal Rights when he’s got time to spare from his counseling work; Bucky’s got their star in temporary tat form on what remains of his bicep. There’s music and laughter and dancing everywhere, and it’s the polar opposite to what his life has been up to this point. Someone pours glitter over Bucky’s head and he grimaces and shakes as much of it off onto Steve as he can - he’s gonna be shitting that stuff for weeks. Brushing it out of his hair, he looks up to see a group of people in fatigues, and he grins for all of the second that the glitter coruscating on his cheeks stops him from reading the signs. “Oh fuck, no,” he says, and marches over, Steve grabbing at him and only managing to yank the shirt out of his pocket. “The hell are you assholes doing?” he yells as soon as he gets close. They’ve got camo painted signs, slogans and slurs and bullshit, and he’d bet any money not a one of them’s served their country. “We’ve got signs to spare,” one of ‘em says, smug and smirking, “if you wanna join us, soldier.” Bucky sees red, and he’d punch the guy if he wasn’t likely to lose his damned balance and make an ass of himself. Instead he whirls around to see a pair in purple dancing, and he shoves his fingers in his mouth and whistles. They both look up, the girl flicking long dark hair out of her eyes as he beckons them over. “Hey, beautiful, get over here,” he says. “You’re not my type,” she says, and he grins. “Wasn’t talking to you,” he says, and blondie grins a little, one-sided, shoving his hands in his pockets - and jeez, the guy’s got a beautiful pair of arms on him - and saunters over. “Wanna offend some assholes?” Bucky says, jerking his head towards the group at the sidelines. Instead of replying, the guy just moves in closer, wrapping his arms around Bucky’s shoulders, grinning that beautiful grin right in Bucky’s face. Fuck it, Bucky thinks, and wraps his arm low around the guy’s waist, going for the full show biz kiss, bending the guy backwards and trusting him to hang on. And sure, okay, maybe it starts as some kinda dick move, but the way this guy kisses, Bucky’s gonna get his number, make sure this ends with dicks, too. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “For the last goddamned time, Tony,” Clint complains, “it’s not even my dick.” “Why would you have other people’s dicks on your phone, Clint?” Tony says, patiently. “Yeah, Clint,” Bucky says, not looking up from his texting, “why would you have other people’s dicks on your phone?” “Oh my god you suck,” Clint mutters, half under his breath, and Bucky snorts. “Because my best friend is a troll who likes to make me choke in important meetings?” “I’d like to -” Bucky starts, but Tony’s not listening. “I dunno,” he says, and he squints at his phone, then down at Clint’s - “Hey!” Clint yelps, and covers his crotch with his hands. “Look, they’re blond, it’s conceivable that it’s -”“It is not my dick,” Clint yells, and Steve, walking in with a coffee, just blinks. He’s lived in the tower long enough to be mostly unfazed. “I think it’s your dick,” Tony says, and Steve blinks again. “Um,” he says. “Why are you looking at Clint’s dick?” “NOBODY IS LOOKING AT CLINT’S DICK,” Clint shouts. “I’d like to -” Tony cuts Bucky off. “Yeah, I’m gonna have to see some proof, Hawkguy,” he says, and Clint slaps both hands over his face. There’s the sounds of a struggle, and when he drags his hands away Bucky’s squinting thoughtfully at Tony’s phone. “That’s Steve’s,” he says dismissively. “Clint’s is bigger.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- For a while there, Clint had wondered if his soulmate was Tony, ‘cos the guy sure was passionate about Captain America. Turned out, though, that there was a set of scales on Tony’s shoulder and - well, he was passionate about Captain America, all right, just not in a way that matched with the shield on Clint’s hip. Clint was curious about what his soulmate’s mark was. Him and Barney used to joke about it - that it’d be a big top, ‘cos he loved the circus, or a red nose ‘cos he was passionate about being a fuckin’ clown. “Your soulmate’s clearly a dork, though,” Barney had said, once, and in a rare turn of events he sounded thoughtful rather than mean with it. “Into comics and whatever. Maybe they’ll have -” he waved a hand vaguely. “Air resistance equations, or some shit.” That was supposed to be how it worked, that when you found your other half they taught you something about yourself as well. Like Barney, he’d had a skeleton key behind his ear, and when he’d gone into the academy he’d laughed about it, that he was gonna learn how they could be used legitimately. Two years in, though, he met a girl with a set of handcuffs broken open on the inside of her forearm, and Clint wasn’t so surprised when he’d heard that Barney had gone from a pretty mediocre agent to one of their most wanted. He kept an eye out for arrows, anyway. It’d figure. He wasn’t exactly a complicated guy. So when he met James Buchanan Barnes, the Winter Damned Soldier, when he felt that deep down click where something between them locked into place - well, it made sense of the patriotic color scheme he had going on, anyway. But the paw print on Bucky’s shoulder - “I mean, I love my dog,” he complained, thumb brushing over and over and over the mark, Bucky’s head tucked up under his chin and a cold metal hand clasped over his hip. “Lucky’s amazing, but we’re edging into furry territory here, and I’m not comfortable.” He snorted a little. “Unless it’s letting me know I’m gonna be passionate about being your bitch…” “Don’t pretend you ain’t,” Bucky mumbled, pressing his lips against Clint’s chest in an uncoordinated kiss. Clint wound his fingers into Bucky’s hair and tugged a little, and Bucky huffed out a breath and lifted his head, making eye contact, his gray eyes serious. “I always figured it for loyalty,” he said, “and that’s you down to the goddamn ground.” He leaned and pressed a kiss to Clint’s lips, his lips sliding against Clint’s as they curled into a grin. “Plus,” he said, “it’s Lucky, right? And I guess you gotta be, to end up with all this.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- It’s one of those quirks the Asset has. Funny little glimmers of personality that slip through; things that don’t overall impair function, and are therefore not worth recalibration. Like how he jerks his head around like he’s in class being called on, whenever one of the scientists swears. Like the way he freaks out Steve Carlsberg, eyes always following him accusingly, even though all he knows is the guy’s name.This one’s new, though.“Hey,” Brown says, beckoning, “hey, come see this!”Larson, who literally only got to be supervisor this week ‘cos no other asshole wanted to be on nights, eyes him suspiciously but - what the hell, it’s not like there’s anything else to entertain him. Brown’s an asshole, but he’s better than being alone; there’s something frankly fucking unsettling about the silent form strapped onto a table in the corner, even when to all appearances he’s sleeping.“Is it the alarms thing?” He asks, affecting a world-weary tone just to show Brown his place. “'Cos whatever he’s remembering, he’s going back in cryo tomorrow so it’ll be wiped anyway.”“Nah,” Brown says, dismissive. “Nah, watch this!”Brown… starts singing. Some crap that’s been all over the radio lately.“Sometimes I feel -”“Brown-”Brown holds up a peremptory finger, still singing.“ - I’ve got to - ”There’s the soft click of metal on metal, and Larson jumps.“What the hell was - ?”Brown grins his wide, asshole grin. “Watch his hand,” he says, and goes back to his song. “ - run away, I’ve got to - ”That gentle clinking again, the Asset’s metal finger tapping twice to correspond with the song.“…holy shit,” Larson says.“Right?!” Brown is triumphant.Larson grins back for all of a second before the implications hit him, and he chews on his thumb nail.“You don’t think he’s got - ”Brown looks uncomprehendingly at him for a moment, then realisation hits. “What, a soulmate? Nah.” He’s instantly dismissive, and Larson tries to take comfort from that. “Nah, he - he’s older than god, right? His soulmate’s gotta be - ”“Dead, right,” Larson says. “Right.”‘Cos having a soulmate would imply the Asset was a person, and that’s - he’s just not comfortable with that.He can’t wait 'til he goes back in the deep freeze.(Clint just goes through life assuming that he’s one of the untold masses without a soulmate, 'cos - 'cos everyone sings sometime, right?) ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- The man swallowed hard, which was a tell that any one of Clint’s instructors would kick his ass for, but he stayed exactly where he was planted in the doorway. “You can’t be here right now,” he said. “This isn’t exactly your jurisdiction.” Tasha smiled, slow and friendly and terrifying, and the bow in Clint’s hands creaked a little under the pressure. “Look,” she said, “I recognise that you’re just doing your job. We appreciate it, don’t we, Clint?” “Sure,” Clint grunted. “And because I respect you,” Tasha said sweetly, “I’m going to deal with you rather than leaving you to Clint.”“Deal with - ?” was all he managed to get out. Clint loosed the tension on his bow and took a deep breath before opening the door, whipping his arrow up again before anyone in the room could react. FBI agents, in Clint’s experience, all look the same; these two might as well have been part of the furniture for all the attention he paid them. Sitting opposite them, tired and underfed and shaggy-haired and fucking beautiful, was James Buchanan Barnes, formally high up in the Irish mob, formally in witness protection in California, and now - because someone somewhere was fucking with Clint - detained in Alaska for no reason he could see. “Hey, baby,” he said, “I’m here to rescue you.” Bucky smiled, slow and relieved and everything that Clint needed in life. “Kick their asses, baby,” he said. “I got your flower.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Quit it or I’ll bite.”Clint laughed across at him as Bucky fished the little paper pellets out of his hair and Bucky bared his teeth in return. “I’m sorry,” Tony said, “is this a briefing or have I somehow wandered into the SHIELD creche?”“He started it,” Bucky said, and Clint grinned and stuck out his tongue. “This,” Tony said to Bruce, who’d followed him in. “This is why I’m never having kids.” “Oh?” Bruce said absently. “I thought it was Steve’s lack of a uterus.” “I’ll admit that doesn’t help,” Tony said, swinging himself into a chair and grabbing the agenda from the middle of the table. Clint had already shredded his and was industriously rolling the paper into tiny projectiles. He picked one up thoughtfully and rolled it between his fingers. “Try it,” Tony said without looking up, “and see if you get any more trick arrows.” There was a moment’s contemplative silence. “I wouldn’t,” said Bruce. “Clint -” Bucky started, then swore creatively as another ball of paper ended up in his hair. “I warned you,” he said, and shoved his chair back with a loud scrape. “You’re not seriously gonna -” Clint started, then “holy shit,” as Bucky leaned down and fit his teeth around skin, just where Clint’s shoulder met his neck. He bit down - not hard, but firm enough to feel it, to leave a red mark on Clint’s shoulder and warm salt against his teeth. Clint was frozen, completely still, a tide of red washing up his neck, and Bucky had to fight the urge to put his fingers where his mouth had been, slide them up Clint’s skin until he could feel whether Clint’s heart was pounding as impossibly hard as his own. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “You told me you were done,” Clint panted as Bucky shoved his shirt off his shoulders, yanking the collar down behind him but doing nothing about the cuffs so Clint had his arms pinned, helpless. “You told me - ““You heard what you wanted,” Bucky growled, low and brutal, and his mouth against Clint’s neck was a punishment and a blessing, like one of those tortured saints. Clint arched into him, fought against his constraining shirt, and Bucky whipped his arm around in a tight circle to gather up the loose fabric, to tie Clint closer to him. “Bastard,” Clint hissed, and Bucky looked up at him through dark hair, eyes and teeth gleaming in the half-darkness, and there was nothing Clint could do but kiss him, bite at his lips. “Then what does that make you?” Bucky asked, voice liked poisoned honey, “when you’re the one who - “Clint pushed forward again, caught him off guard in a vicious kiss that swallowed his words, like that way Clint could keep them secret and safe inside him. Like they didn’t both know exactly how fucked Clint was. Like they didn’t know how he’d react when Bucky gentled the kiss, how he’d crane his neck to follow every time, every time, that Bucky pulled away. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “…the fuck? Who are you?”The guy managed to flip off the roof, shrug and fire an explosive arrow that took out two of the robots, all at the same time, and still landed square on the fire escape. “No one special, pal,” he said, glancing around then firing three arrows in quick succession, staring up at Bucky as he did so. Either he didn’t trust him - which, considering the things that were slowly coming back, was probably the wisest course - or he was going for some kinda intimidation thing. There was a chance it was working. “You gonna rescue me and lie to me all in the same day?” Bucky called, flipping a knife over in his hand and then burying it in the robot’s eye socket. “Don’t know what you’re expecting to hear.” He sprang off the edge of the fire escape and caught the edge of the roof, hauling himself up before coming over to Bucky, collecting a couple of arrows from gently fizzing metal carcasses on the way. “I’ve been researching. You’re a - mutant, right?” “Nope.” He eyed one of the arrows he’d retrieved, considering the fletching for a second before running his tongue along it, smoothing it out. Jesus Christ, the arms had been enough. “So, what, some kinda radiation leak? Experimentation? Training with weird and kinda racist monk stereotypes?”The guy eyed him sidelong, blue eyes amused. “You get Cartoon Network out here?” “Just let me know what the hell I’m dealing with.” “Just an average schmuck,” he said, nocking his arrow and letting it fly, taking out a robot that shoulda been way out of his range, “failing pretty badly at saving the world.” “Believe me,” Bucky said, and he paused there, taking a long moment to look him up and down, letting his eyes linger. “There’s nothing average about you.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Bucky’d expected Clint to come in roaring, righteous anger and listed arguments, because he was learning to remember Steve. He was learning to remember how they’d always fought, stubborn and bull-headed, and unable to keep from hurting each other ‘cos they couldn’t disentangle far enough to do it. He’d learned to fight by pushing, and pushing, and winning by inches, but Clint just gave ground until he was walking out the door.So he was wrong footed when Clint came back in quiet, shuffled his shoes off his feet, placed his keys on the counter almost so they didn’t make a sound. Was unprepared for the size of him, how he’d somehow lost all the inches Bucky’d won, curled small in himself, quiet.Bucky was expecting noise, a house full of sisters and never a one of them at fault, and half the time now he could even remember their names.“I’m sorry,” Clint said, and Bucky’s stomach lurched like he’d overshot, like he’d braced too hard and now had the sick nervous rush of falling. Maybe it was the emptiness in Clint’s voice. “I’m sorry, I don’t wanna fight.”“But - ”Clint took a deep breath and Bucky bit back his stubborn, measured words, measured in the inches that were given and the miles that he took.“I know that we - that communication is healthy, I get that,” and that was a therapy phrase, that was learned and careful words, and Bucky wasn’t sure how they’d reached this poorly mapped part of Clint’s vocabulary, unfamiliar, dangers lurking in the trees. Clint looked up, baby-blue eyes, and Bucky saw that he wasn’t the only one who was lost. “I get that we need to talk,” Clint said, carefully picking his way, “and I don’t wanna go to bed angry, but - ”“Hey,” Bucky said, low and soothing, and he moved in increments and inches, only taking what was given, grateful that Clint didn’t move away.“I’m tired, Buck,” Clint said, “I don’t - can we do this tomorrow?”“We can talk when you’re ready,” Bucky told him. “Take whatever you need.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Bro… that’s so… not cool…”Bucky pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a huff of breath, ‘cos it’d been a long shift and the last thing he needed right now was - “Cool or not, Clint, I gotta arrest you.”Clint was actually attempting to get out of this with puppy dog eyes, sticking out his lower lip and looking up at Bucky from under his lashes. The hell of it was, it was almost working. “Quit it,” he said, snapped really. “You don’t get to use our - “ he stumbled over the word relationship, not sure that Clint was ready for that yet. Him, he was all in, ‘cos Bucky had ever been a sucker for love, and that was just making all of this infinitely worse. “Our thing against me.” “I’d like to use my -” Clint caught a look at Bucky’s face and cut himself off. “Sorry.” He looked kinda sheepish. “Um, if it helps, I got a good reason?”“You’re waving a fuckin’ bow and arrow around in public, Clint,” Bucky said, helpless, “what the hell kinda reason could you have?” Clint palmed the back of his neck, which was one of his tells, but discomfort rather than flat-out lying. “So,” he said. “Er. I’m guessin’ you’ve heard of the Hawk?” “That asshole vigilante?” Bucky asked, before it quite hit him. “The one who -” his mouth dropped open. “Aw, hell. Clint -”“Look, I was gonna tell you,” Clint said, holding his hands up, “I swear to god, that was what the whole dinner tomorrow was gonna be about, I was gonna -”“Right,” Bucky said, and felt like an ass ‘cos he’d been hoping Clint was gonna ask for something a little more than the fuck-buddy arrangement they had going on. “Fuck.” Clint scowled at him, something vulnerable hiding behind the belligerent look on his face. “Look,” he said, “I saved like three people’s lives and a whole box full of kittens last week, so dumping me right now would be a really dick move.” Dumping - that had to imply dating, right? And Jesus, Bucky was gone, ‘cos he could feel a little curl of a smile teasing at the edge of his mouth. “I’m not dumping you, asshole,” he said. “You can take me for coffee after I pay your goddamn bail.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “I don’t need you, really.” Clint made an emphatic gesture, see?, and stalked over to the refrigerator, hooking out a bottle of beer and twisting off the cap with a violent motion. He was visibly, obviously upset, but even that couldn’t make him miss, flicking the cap so it ricocheted off the counter-top, bounced on the edge of Lucky’s water bowl and into the recycling. “I can’t - this can’t be one-sided,” Clint said, after a second’s awful silence where Bucky considered and rejected a million stupid-ass things to say. “You get that, right? I can’t -” He hauled himself onto one of the bar stools by the counter, slumping over and resting his head in his hands. “I’ve been there. I’ve lived there, okay, and it eats away at your self esteem ‘til it nearly goddamn kills you, and I can’t - I can’t be there again, okay, I don’t like the guy it makes me.” Bucky rubbed a hand across his mouth and his hand, his hand was shaking. The scratch of stubble was the only sound in the stillness of the room until he cleared his throat, tried to put words into some kinda order. “I don’t need you - no, it’s my turn now, asshole - but I - don’t I get to have what I want, yet?” He felt, stupidly and inexplicably, betrayed. “Haven’t I fuckin’ earned that?” “Buck -”Clint fell silent at the harsh slicing motion Bucky made with his metal hand, with one of the endless fuckin’ proofs that he’d given enough. “You can’t lead the life I’ve lived and need anything from anyone, okay? Needing people is fucking suicide, and I’ve got too much practice living to give it up any time soon.”“Fuck, Bucky - ““Shut the fuck up, Clint, I am not done.” He wasn’t sure when he’d stood up, when he’d shoved himself to his feet, but his hands were wrapped tight around the back of the chair he’d been sitting on and he felt like it was the only solid thing in the world. “You don’t get to ask me for that, okay?” He could hear that his voice was unsteady but there was momentum there, like running downhill and jarring at every step. “You got no right to make me need you when I already want you like I do.”“How d’you want me?” Clint asked, soft into the silence, and from anyone else that’d be some kinda manipulation, the conversation they were having, but Clint made up in physical acrobatics how fuckin’ incapable he was with emotions. “You’re everything to me, you fuckin’ idiot,” Bucky said, helpless. “I could live without you but I am asking you with everything I got, please don’t fuckin’ make me.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Bitch better have my money.”Clint was twitchy today, tapping his hands on the table top in some incomprehensible rhythm that bore no relation to the song that was drifting over the mall’s speakers. Tony snorted at his low comment, and Steve looked genuinely offended.“She had to be seventy years old, Clint, and that ain’t a nice way to talk about a lady.”Clint looked confused for the moment that took to register, then rolled his eyes. “Calm your star-spangled tits, Cap, it’s one of those references you don’t get.”Bucky snorted into the milkshake Clint had bought him, good all-American boy that he was. Bucky had his foot hooked around Clint’s ankle under the table, and even though Bucky was a good Catholic girl he might let him get fresh with him on the couch later, as an anniversary treat. Clint shot him a quick look and Bucky sent him a grin, wide and amused at himself and so damn genuine, and about an inch of Clint’s nervous energy disappeared, enough for him to ease into a smile of his own. The expression on his face was so fond that Tony made faces and the waitress made soft cooing noises when she returned with the bag full of Clint’s quarters.Clint shot out of his seat, taking a handful with speedy thanks and heading for the gumball machine at the edge of the food court. Bucky rolled his eyes, but he wasn’t fooling anybody, watching as Clint bought and discarded a handful of eggs before doing a small victory dance, grinning down at what was in his hand before heading back over at a carefully calculated saunter.“Gonna tell me what that was about?” Bucky asked, and Clint made a show of unwrapping his gum before tossing a little plastic ring onto the table in front of Bucky.“I just wanted the gum,” he said, “you want this?”“Sure,” Bucky said, half-laughing, shoving it onto the end of his pinkie.“Wanna marry me, too?” Clint asked, casual as anything, and Tony choked on his coffee.“Holy shit,” he said, “that was the most contrived moment of pretentious insouciance I’ve ever seen in my life.”“Tony,” Steve snapped, but Bucky had descended into fits of laughter and Clint was looking more and more uncertain as the seconds continued to pass.“Oh my god,” Bucky eventually managed, grabbing hold of Clint’s hand and weaving their fingers together too tight for Clint to pull free, “hell fuckin’ yes I’ll marry you, you fuckin’ meatball.”Clint let out a sigh of relief and all of the tension in his body, curling forward to rest his forehead in the crook of Bucky’s neck and muttering something low and intimate into Bucky’s ear.“Jesus Christ,” Bucky said, resigned to the fact that this was his life now, “yes we can have meatball subs at the goddamn reception.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Real smooth, tripping over air.” “Aaw bite me, Officer Barnes,” Clint said, hauling the Hawk’s stupid mask off his head and leaning back against the wall, streaming with sweat even though his gasping breath was steaming in the frigid night air. “I’d like to see you try it.” “Pretty sure I can dismount a fire escape without falling flat on my ass.” Bucky walked a little further into the alley, shifting to the side so he blocked out less of the light. Clint was sitting in the shadow of a dumpster, sprawled out a little like he wasn’t even trying to hide; that said, most of the closest units were occupied with picking up the bolo-tangled assholes who tried to knock over the pawn shop on 7th. “You tryin’ to get me to arrest you again?”“I gotta thing for the handcuffs,” Clint said, with the kind of smile that was half a grimace, “what can I say?” The shadowed darkness behind the dumpster caught a little of the light, reflected it back in a way that shadows didn’t. “Clint, are you -?” “So how quick can you get me outta these clothes?” Clint asked, and this one was barely a smile at all. “‘cos I can’t walk into a hospital looking like this, and we wait much longer I’m not sure I’m gonna be walkin’ in at all.” “Fuck,” Bucky said, dropping to his knees so he could haul Clint’s arm around his neck, stagger to his feet lop-sided with his barely-helping weight. “Fuck, Clint, you gotta stop doing this to yourself, if you die by yourself in a goddamn alleyway I’m gonna kick your ass -”Clint choked out a small noise, coulda been a laugh, coulda been a grunt of pain. “You volunteering to be my partner, partner?” “Yeah, ‘cos I’d look so great in a domino mask.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “It’s not that I don’t want to. I’m just really, really drunk… like, really.” Clint’s voice over the comms is slurring, sure, committed to character development, but there’s also a trace of something a little panicky that’s making all the hair stand up on the back of Bucky’s neck. “Steve,” he says, low, and Steve is chewing on his lip, looking conflicted. “Clint, are you -”“Woah,” Clint snaps, “hands,” and Bucky growls and throws himself out the back of the van, heading into the bar at a march that’s not far off running. The place is badly lit, buzzing neon over the pool tables, and it takes a second for Bucky’s eyes to adjust enough to catch sight of Clint’s stupid purple shirt over by the bathrooms. The guy crowding him against the wall is even taller than Clint is, and built with it, which explains why he’d been hired as Hydra muscle in the first place. Bucky heads over, head down and fists clenched, and Clint catches sight of him and there’s a moment of impossible relief on his face before he resolves it into a scowl. “Hey,” Clint says, sliding out from under the guy’s arm when he turns to look for who Clint’s talking to. “Hey, asshole, I thought I said I didn’t wanna see you any more.” “Aaw, baby,” Bucky says, sliding effortlessly into character, “don’t be like this.”“The hell’s this?” Hydra goon grunts, and Bucky gives him a quick once-over, dismissive. “I’m his boyfriend, asshole, who the hell are you?” “No you’re not,” Clint slurs, “you’re a dick and I don’t wanna -” he acts like he’s lost his train of thought. “I like Dirk now.” “Dave,” the guy says, and Clint nods. “Right, right, Dave, this guy.” He grins up at him and then makes a show of palming his ass, and the guy’s too busy smirking at Bucky to notice Clint sliding the flash drive he’s fished out of the guy’s back pocket into his own. “You don’t mean that,” Bucky says and steps forward, into Clint’s space, slides his fingers down from his elbow to his hand and linking their fingers together. “C’mon baby, you gotta know I love you.” Clint bites his lip and looks down, his fingers tightening on Bucky’s. “Fuck’s sake,” Dave says, “you’re not even hot enough for this.” He stalks away to the bar, and Clint snorts, looking up at Bucky with a mischievous smirk. “You gonna let him talk to me that way?”Bucky shrugs. “At least we know Hydra’s dumb as well as evil.” “Aaw,” Clint says, “you say the sweetest things.” “He still looking?” Bucky asks, and Clint glances over his shoulder. “Yeah, why, you gonna - ?” but his eyes are already flickering down to Bucky’s mouth, and he licks his lips, and he pulls on Bucky’s hand, and Bucky figures that’s all pretty unmistakable. “…everything okay, guys?” Steve asks, maybe five minutes later, but Bucky’s got both hands in Clint’s hair and he’s got no interest in using his mouth for anything but this. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- The twins were running through the crowd, speaking with punters in hushed voices about the Incredible Man of Iron, stirring up curiosity and intrigue and the likelihood of commercial interaction. Eventually Hulk would hunt them down and haul them off by their ears, both reinforcing the circus’ strict policy on security and ensuring that The Spectacular Soaring Sokovians were on time to start their aerial act. That one’d been Clint’s idea. They were a small outfit, and everyone had multiple roles. Tasha was currently swathed in velvet and lace, telling punters what Madame Natalia saw in their future, and in seventeen minutes would be the Widowmaker, challenging all comers to take her on in the ring. Tony was probably in the jury-rigged workshop adding something to the Iron Man that was overblown and fantastical and liable to explode, and later he’d be kissing people’s cheeks and charming people’s smiles and weaving dreams into introductions in the middle of the ring. Clint was a general dogsbody, mostly, ‘cos he was a pony of one trick. So he spent most of his time fixing precarious platforms, scaling heights to patch canvas, hawking roasted chestnuts, and waiting for the few glorious occasions a day when he could be the Amazing Hawkeye and revel in the adoration of the crowd. Usually it was the adoration that he was in it for, but every now and again it was the crowd. Clint was a sucker for long hair, well-shaped figures, stormy-blue eyes, and he’d been watching the guy in the winter overcoat for the better part of the afternoon. Something about him was intriguing, and it wasn’t just the beautifully cut line of his jaw. “Clint!” Pietro raced out of the crowd and leaped at him, trusting that Clint would catch him even with his newly longer legs and growth-addled balance. Clint did, of course, and then dropped him on his arse, turning instead to Wanda who approached more sedately and could generally be relied on to make far more sense. “Something exciting, witchlet?” he asked, and she was smiling, excited, and he couldn’t help his grin in response. “In the crowd,” she said, “Clint, we must find Tony and tell him, there is a man with a clockwork arm!” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “I am saying, here and now, that you are going to regret this. So when the time comes, the ‘I told you so’ will be all the sweeter.” Bucky glared at Steve, who was half outta his shirt and therefore didn’t fully appreciate the effect. “Who made me the online dating profile, Steve?” he said. “Whose asshole idea was it to get me ‘interacting’ more with ‘people’?”“Okay yes,” Steve said, emerging from his shirt-shaped cocoon with a flushed face and sex hair, “that part was me, but talking to the gay Tasmanian devil is all you, buddy.” “He doesn’t describe himself as a gay Tasmanian devil,” Bucky said, “he describes himself as like a gay Tasmanian devil, keep up.” “Right.” Steve rolled his eyes, “‘cos that is so much better.” He sighed and snagged Bucky’s new black shirt off the back of the couch. “I’m borrowing this,” he said, hauling it over his head. Bucky considered telling him about the smear of chocolate across the back of it - the reason he was currently shirtless in the first place - but figured that it wasn’t as if it was gonna harm his chances with Sam, who was clearly twitterpated. Also Steve was an Asshole, and Deserved It. “Have a good date,” he said, and waved Steve out the door before turning back to the dating profile that was open on his screen. The picture showed a bundle of blankets with a shock of blond hair the only part of the guy visible, and the entirety of the profile read: A cyclone of alcohol and pain meds and bad decisions. Like a gay Tasmanian devil. And yeah, a little part of this decision was the fact that Bucky was fairly convinced the profile was a fake, that he wasn’t gonna get a response, that he could fulfill Steve’s guilt-trip without actually having to interact. The other part - the bigger part - was that it was the first thing besides Steve that had got a laugh outta him since they’d got back stateside. That was worth a risk, right?I always saw myself as sexy Valkyrie Bugs, he typed, took a deep breath and hit ‘send’. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- It’s not even anything particular, it’s just a pile of little annoyance-gravel that’s sliding under his feet, taking the ground out from under him, until he’s somehow in the middle of a landslide of a day.The worst of it is that he’s got no control over it. That it’s not like he coulda made different calls at any point that would’ve improved things, ‘cos at least then he could’ve taken comfort in beating himself up about it and, significantly, could’ve maybe made different choices in the future. Nah, he’s dealing with other people’s poor foundations, and there’s no way he can settle his feet enough to find a secure place to start from, fixing his life.The tired is weighing heavy on him, like the stinking sheepskin Madame Es used to toss over him when he passed out in the corner of her trailer, curled small and hiding from Barney or the Swordsman. It almost doesn’t seem worth picking at the edges of the gauze patched onto his side with fumbling fingers, it’s tempting to leave it ‘til he’s propped up his life a little with sleep, but he’s not a super soldier and he’s all full of grit, and -There’s a little tap at the door. It’s Steve’s boy, Bucky, and Clint makes an effort to shoot him a half-complete grin, 'cos he’s hiding behind his hair again and he shouldn’t feel that unwelcome.“Hey,” he says, “gimme a - ” and like he can take himself by surprise, like that’ll somehow hurt less, he yanks at the gauze and rips it away from his skin. “Sec,” he finishes, and, “ow.”Yeah, it’s a good call, dealing with this now. The road rash is peppered with dirt and grit, and he pokes sadly at it because there’s no way this ain’t gonna suck.Remembering his audience, Clint looks up.“Sorry, hi,” he says, “you wanted something?”“You weren’t at dinner,” he says, and he pushes the door open a little further, and he’s got a box of pizza in his other hand. “I brought you food.”“Oh,” Clint says.Bucky comes in and puts the pizza on Clint’s lopsided table, then hovers a little uncertainly, shifting his weight.“I, er,” he says, and tucks his hair behind his ear. Clint watches the motion, his eyes snagging on the guy’s ear like it’s something special, on the line of his jaw 'cos there’s no way that’s not. “I’m kinda out of practice,” Bucky continues, nodding at Clint’s wrecked side, “but I can give you a hand with that, if it’d help?”“Yeah,” Clint says, and leads him through to the bathroom, hopping up onto the counter and watching as Bucky finds a pair of tweezers, some q-tips, a washcloth. That last he runs water over, and he does it careful and caring, checking the temperature first. Clint feels jarred all over, like he was stumbling over nothing and found an unexpected solid place to stand. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Bucky tackled Clint just as soon as the door to the ‘jet lowered, stumbling over the end of the ramp and taking them both down. “Ow,” Clint breathed, but arched up into the kiss, lifting his head enough that Bucky could get his hand under there, twist his fingers into the too-long hair at the nape of Clint’s neck. Clint was smiling. Bucky could feel Clint smiling. Bucky fuckin’ loved when he could feel Clint’s smiles. “Everything went precisely as expected,” Tasha was saying somewhere distant and unimportant. She stepped delicately over them; Sam was a little less careful and Bucky gave him an emphatic middle finger at the booted nudge to his side. “You know I’m not actually the one who debriefs you,” Rhodey said, flat. “You’re still gonna have to do the whole meeting thing.” “Nope,” Bucky raised his head long enough to say, and then buried his face in Clint’s neck. Clint wove his fingers into Bucky’s hair, relaxing back fully against the ramp, apparently there for the duration. “Seriously,” Sam said flatly, “is the honeymoon period ever gonna die with those two? Hey, assholes!” a little louder, “he’s been gone three days.” “Too long,” Clint yelled back, and Bucky eased up to his ear. “Three days, two hours, seventeen minutes,” he said, soft. “Too fuckin’ long.” “Well this is all very sweet,” Natasha said, and her tone of voice said she had her arms crossed, and her tone of voice said she was smirking, “but I have to steal Clint for a debriefing.” Bucky made a noise of protest that had Clint’s chest jumping against his, his giggles buried behind Bucky’s ear. “Fine,” he said, finally, pushing himself off and up, although not without a couple of quick blunt kisses, reluctance in every line of him. “But the clock’s ticking. Don’t keep him too long.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Clint is singing softly to himself as he makes his way back to his blanket roll, only half dressed since his costume is always taken from him as soon as he’s done, checked over immediately for wearing and tearing and loss of shine. He’s left his bow in the ‘masters tent, and it’s not often he has cause to regret that. Not often is not never, though, and before he can flinch he has been pressed against the back of one of the truckle wagons that’s usually stacked with canvas, its splintered wood digging into his unprotected back. “I remember your singing,” a voice says, and his features aren’t easy to make out in the darkness, but Clint has spent too many shameful nights, has spent on too many shameful nights with that moonlit face in his mind’s eye. “I’m sorry for it,” he says frankly. “Barney says it ain’t one of my gifts.” “Barney’s an idiot, then,” the man says, and his eyes are moving restlessly across Clint’s face as though he’s looking for something, the light from one of the campsite’s few torches catching occasionally bright in his eye. Clint attempts to push himself forward, but he is prevented, the pressure from the man’s hands relentless, but not cruel. “What do you want?” he says eventually, frustrated from striving, and what little light there is - now Clint’s eyes have given in to it - is just enough to see the man’s mouth ease a little open, so Clint is not entirely taken by surprise when his mouth is taken, firm and warm and a shiver of good. Clint throws himself into it, because unless he beds someone from the circus - which would be like family, which he will never do - all of his encounters are brief and decided in moments. And this one, he has wanted. He pushes forward again, wanting to slide to his knees, but again is prevented. Annoyed, he slides his hand down to where flesh is hard and hot against him, cupping it in his hand and squeezing a promise. The man pulls away, a soft noise of refusal in his throat, and Clint is left flushed and panting and hard, sprawled back against the wagon and confused beyond the telling of it. “I just wanted to thank you,” he is told, and Clint looks him up and down in the barely-light and huffs his annoyance. “I could be better thanked,” he says, but it’s a complaint and not an expectation, and he pushes himself upright and waves away help. This time he is taken off-guard when the man darts in, presses a soft promise to his mouth. “Thank you for saving me,” he says, and disappears into the shadows. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- There’s a flash of bright light and Bucky pulls away, swears, looks to his left in time for another, the paparazzo catching an expression of true hatred, no doubt. That’s probably what has him running. “Fuck,” he bites out. “Fuck.” Clint is still sprawled against the wall, blinking slow and mouth red and used. He bites on his lip and Bucky’s eyes drop to it, helpless, and he sways back in for a fraction of a second before firming his resolve, spinning away and tapping his comms. “Steve,” he snaps. “Where the hell are you guys?” Steve says, instantly, annoyed but not angry, “I’m pretty sure they’ve got enough brooms for you to pull your -”“Someone saw us,” Bucky interrupts. “…saw you - ?”“Me and Clint,” Bucky says. “They took a fuckin’ photograph.” “Oh shit, you guys finally -” Steve says, sounding almost elated, then - “oh. Shit.” “Yeah.” Clint has pushed himself back up to standing, now, and he’s a little curled into himself, checking his quiver and inventorying arrowheads with sharp, angry movements. “Big black guy,” Bucky says, “Mets shirt, huge fuckin’ camera. Can we get a lid on it?” “No idea,” Steve says, sounding resigned. “Like I know anything about cameras, clouds, any of that crap. Sam’ll find him, though.” “Okay,” he says. He taps off his comms, runs a hand through his hair, turns to Clint. “Okay. Sorry.” Clint shrugs his quiver back on, folds his arms. “Yeah,” he says. “That’s pretty fuckin’ obvious.” He’s glowering, but at the floor not at Bucky, and every line of him tells Bucky to Stay Back. “Sam’s after the guy,” he says, soft and soothing, “no one is gonna know.” “Nothing to know about,” Clint says, and it’s Bucky looking away this time, angry and upset and disappointed and trying not to show off any of it. “I thought -” he says, a little pathetic, a little plaintive, and Clint cuts in. “I know what you thought,” he says. “Been a dirty little secret before, not doing it again.”“Wait, what?” Bucky says, and he steps all over the body language, he steps in close and hooks his fingers around Clint’s bracer, wishing to god he was touching skin. “You’re not - you don’t mind the media gettin’ hold of this?” Clint must read something in Bucky’s face, something like awe, ‘cos he eases up on the pissed a little, uncrosses his arms. “The hell would I have to be ashamed of?” he asks, looking genuinely uncertain. “Which of us is dating a notorious fuckin’ killer?” Bucky asks, dry. “Um,” Clint says. “Both of us, asshole.” He lick his lip, cocking his head a little, looking painfully uncertain. “We’re dating?” All the paparazzi in the fuckin’ world couldn’t have stopped Bucky from kissing him, right then, right there, right out in the open. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “You’d better remember this tomorrow,” Clint said, “‘cos I have at least seven bets to collect on, here.” He paused, considering, and Bucky rocked a little more into his side, the fifth bottle of vodka just kickin’ in nice. “Maybe we should document this, for posterity,” Clint said, and pulled out his phone, heaving Bucky a little more upright. Bucky flicked his hair out of his eyes and grinned sloppily up at the camera. “Oh, that’s awesome.” “One more?” Bucky said, and Clint shrugged and and held out the phone again, pulling some kinda face that involved him sucking in his cheeks and squinting. Five bottles of vodka were all warm in Bucky’s stomach, and it made it real hard to resist impulses, which’d be why Clint’s eyes were stretched all wide in the photograph, Bucky’s grin pressed against his cheek. “Okay,” Clint said faintly, “maybe eight.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- They’re squashed up tight under the tarp, Clint’s bow digging uncomfortably into Bucky’s hip. Bucky had made a fuss about Clint not needing the shelter, his weapon being a little - “Um, better?” - more resilient, but that had been mostly for the comms, for the listeners who were waiting on news of the target. The patter of raindrops on the tarp drowned out the sound of Clint’s harsh breathing, and Bucky did his best to keep a lid on the other noises he was makin’, low groans in his throat muffled by Bucky’s mouth. They’re making this quick, they’re making this quiet, rustle of tarpaulin and rhythmic raindrops, Clint swearing so low it’s almost inaudible, his hips pushing up against Bucky’s cold metal hand. Bucky slides up close to the ear that’s got the undoctored aid in it, the one that won’t broadcast his gentle all over the comms. “You’re the best goddamned thing in my life,” he says, low and rough, and Clint is rocked by coming, curling up so he can bite into Bucky’s shirt, shaking and jerking against him, chewing out soft noises into damp fabric. “Oh fuck,” he manages eventually, “oh fuck, Bucky, shit,” and the breathless swearing’s as good a declaration as any ‘cos it takes a hell of a lot for Clint Barton to be lost for words. “Rude,” a voice cuts in, loud over comms. “I’m pretty sure I’m the best thing in everyone’s life.” “Tony,” Steve says, annoyed, but he’s sounding a little pink about it. “If we could - focus, please?” Bucky buries his vicious swearing in Clint’s chest, but Clint’s laughter rings out over the comms for everyone to hear. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Natasha, help me,” Clint whispered, his voice strained, his hand twisting tightly into her shirt. “I think I’m dying.” “You’re an idiot,” she said, and stuck her thumb into his wrist in a place that made his entire hand go numb. He bit back a swear word just in time and cradled his hand to his chest, eyes still fixed on the doorway. Tony’d been coming to the elementary school to start some kinda fund, or replace some equipment, or something of the kind that Tony did, and the Stark PR guy had insisted some of the Avengers accompany him. Apparently the killing of giant vicious hamsters last week had been too far for the public, ‘cos huge and deadly as the things were, they’d also been kinda cute. So now Clint, Natasha and Bucky were going for photo ops with small multi-ethnic adorable children. “See if you can find one in a wheelchair!” the guy had piped merrily, and Tasha had had to physically stop Clint from punching him. Good things had come out of this, though. Good things like Bucky sitting on a tiny first-graders’ chair, hair tucked behind his ears, coloring intently according to a minuscule boy’s instructions. He pulled out his phone and snapped a quick picture, tucking it back into his pocket before going to play dress-up with the kids in the corner. He was looking at the picture when Bucky came to bed that night, and he rolled over to press a kiss to his metal shoulder, long past differentiating the way he treated them. “What was that for?” Bucky said, with a soft and sleepy grin. “You were being cute,” Clint said. “I couldn’t help myself.” “Well if I manage it all the damned time,” Bucky said, “you got no excuse.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Some days are better than others. Hydra doesn’t have their hands on Bucky any more and that’s, y’know, that’s not something, that’s everything. But the memories are coming back slowly where they’re coming back at all, and sometimes the indifferent way Bucky looks at him is impossible to take. Those days, Clint winds up on the range, forgoing gloves and bracers and shooting until his fingers bleed. The world doesn’t end ‘cos Clint’s having relationship issues, of course. There’s still monsters to fight and asses to kick, and Steve’s started saying that someday soon Bucky’ll be going along with them, ‘cos his memory’s spotty as hell but he knows whose side he’s on. “Clint’s side,” Bucky says, flat and disinterested, ignorant to the way Clint’s heart is trying to punch its way out of his chest. “Clint’s got the best taste in pizza.” Tasha sends him a tiny sympathetic smile that is not helping, and Clint goes to bury his sorrows in the freezer. The next day he’s geared up and ready, waiting for the ‘jets ramp to slowly lower, when someone comes up behind him and taps him in the shoulder. “Yup?” he says, incurious, turning around, but he’s cut off by the quick peck Bucky presses to his mouth, followed up by an ungentle swat to his ass. Clint’s knees give up on him. He winds up on the floor, his hand pressed over his mouth like he’s gonna be sick, like he’s gonna wail, like he’s gonna puke up his heart right here on the concrete. “Good luck,” Bucky says, completes it, and he’s got a little smile just tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Oh fuck,” Clint says, and he’s blinking as fast as he can but the smile still keeps blurring. “Oh, fuck, you remembered.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Look, I’m doin’ it,” Bucky bellows, and Steve grins ‘cos it’s the most James Buchanan Barnes he’s sounded in over half a century. Clint, who’s got his back against the wall, Bucky’s hand resting just above his shoulder, all kinds of casual, winces a little at the volume even while his smirk remains firmly in place. “You doin’ it any time soon?” he asks, “‘cos Dog Cops is back on in like three days, and there ain’t no way I’m missing that.” “Aw,” Bucky says, and that’s the smile that’d broken many a dame’s heart back in the ‘30s, and Clint looks just as affected, “keep your shirt on, sugar, I’m gettin’ to you.”“You are getting to him like a snail,” Natasha says, and no one misses the quick glance at her phone, at the time writ large across it. Her tone is getting sour. “It will serve you right if he gives up on you.” “This would be so much easier without the peanut gallery,” Clint says, and then, softer, “never gonna give you up.” “Never gonna let you down,” Bruce chimes in from the kitchen, and Clint chokes on a laugh, bending a little forward and getting their faces all outta alignment again. Steve looks at his watch and grins. 30 seconds. 29…“Look,” Clint says, when he’s calmed down enough from laughing, “maybe we should -” “No,” Bucky says, and that’s his determined voice, and Steve still has seventeen seconds to go dammit, “no, I’m not gonna -”“Er, Avengers, Assemble?” Steve tries, which earns him a punch in the shoulder from Natasha and no attention whatsoever spared between Clint and Bucky. “I’ve been wantin’ to do this,” Bucky says, soft and low, and no tone Steve’s heard on any of their double dates before. “So do it,” Clint says, and Bucky leans in - 3 seconds, 2… and brushes his lips just barely against Clint’s, careful and slow. The hesitant contact breaks off with a start when Natasha crows loudly. “Ha,” she says, “before midnight, Rogers.” Steve scowls. “Aaw, Buck, you couldn’t have waited a second more?” “Nah,” Bucky says, and he’s smiling that beautiful smile into Clint’s face, and it’s worth any number of lost bets to see him look that happy, Steve thinks. “Nah, I don’t think I could.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Y’know,” Bucky says, wheeling around on Clint and getting up in his face, “I would really appreciate it if you could back off.” “Oh,” Clint says, and he looks genuinely taken aback, genuinely hurt. “Yeah, sure. I just.” He palmed the back of his neck, looked up at Bucky with his head ducked, “I kinda thought you were into me.” The side of his mouth quirks up a little, but the little lines between his eyebrows make it a joke of a smile. “This ain’t about how I feel.” He looks up at the cameras at the corners of the corridor, and folds his arms across his chest. “Stark watching this?” Clint blinks. “I - Tony? Why would he be -” “I heard the two of you,” Bucky says, flat and emotionless, the words coming from somewhere uncomfortable in his belly. “You… heard us?” “Fifty bucks, was it? If you could convince the frozen geriatric to give in -” Clint’s expression melts into something faintly horrified, and he holds out his hands. “If I could convince Steve,” he says, hurried, the words falling over each other, “if I could convince Steve to watch the goddamn Star Wars trilogy, why would - why the hell would I invite Tony to witness my fuckin’ humiliation?” “Humiliation,” Bucky says. “Like I go into wooing anyone with the expectation it’ll work,” Clint’s tone ain’t quite amused, even if he’s halfway smiling. “Look, I’m sorry for the misunderstanding, and I’m sorry if I’ve been making you uncomfortable, and I’ll just -” he hesitates as Bucky stalks forward. “I’ll back off, which would be easier if you weren’t -” “So you meant it?” Bucky asks. “I am pathetically into you,” Clint says, hands still spread in front of him, nothing but honesty in his voice. “Good,” Bucky says, “‘cos otherwise this woulda got awkward quick.” Clint might not go into things expecting them to work, but he’s all in from the first in any case, throwing himself head first into danger and potential embarrassment. It was one of the first things Bucky noticed about him, liked about him, and with Clint’s eager mouth against his he’s sure as hell appreciating it now. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- The room’s in the soft half-light that’s as dark as hospitals ever get, but it still takes a second for Steve to notice the shadow that’s sitting in the corner, bent over with his hands clenched in his hair. “…Bucky?” he asks, hesitant, ‘cos why the hell would - “Hey, Steve,” Bucky says, his voice thick in the darkness. “You here to chuck me out on my ass?” “Am I gonna have a reason to?” Steve comes a little further into the room, dumps the flowers he’s carrying into a corner where there’s still a little space. “Well I figured a Hydra goon wouldn’t exactly be -”“You’re not a Hydra goon,” Steve snaps back, and then lets a half smile take the anger off his face. “You’re a goon who happens to work for Hydra. What’re you doing here, Buck?” Bucky glanced at the bed, then away again. Steve followed his line of sight and winced. Clint looked a mess, both his eyes black, his nose swollen, both arms in casts. “This is my fault,” Bucky says, low and defeated. “I did this.” “The refs, two teams and about three hundred fans’d argue with you there, Buck,” Steve says, implacable. “I was supposed to take him out,” Bucky’s voice is desolate in the darkness. “I was supposed to - but I wouldn’t, so they sent in fuckin’ Rumlow.” “‘kin Rumblow,” echoes a voice from the bed. “Hate that guy.” “Clint,” Bucky says, shoving up to his feet immediately and then hovering there, looking uncertain in a way that Steve - who’s known Bucky since he was in diapers, who had experienced his awkward adolescent crushes the first time around - recognizes immediately. He goes around to the side of the bed, placing his hand square in the small of Bucky’s back and shoving him forward unsubtly, so Bucky takes a couple of stumbling steps forward. His hand goes out to touch Clint’s fingers, like they’re something precious and infinitely breakable, and Clint smiles up at him even though it’s gotta be killing his face. And sure, it’s awkward, but Steve is pretty sure this is more than a crush. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “I thought you were dead.” “So, what, you moved into my room?” Bucky shrugs, still not looking away from the wholesale slaughter that’s taking place on the TV screen, Bucky’s hands moving quickly on the controls. “It’s a nice room,” he says. “I know,” Clint complains, “that’s why I picked it.” He prowls around, picking things off the shelves, wondering why Bucky kept so much of his crap. All of his crap, maybe; he’s even wearing one of Clint’s goddamn sweatshirts. It’s a good point, actually, and Clint picks apart his knotted belt, shrugs off his jacket and goes to investigate the closet, looking for something purple. From the corner of his eye he can see Bucky turning to look, and then there’s the gentle shushing of beans shifting against bag and Bucky’s behind him, awful close, tracing a cool metal finger against his side. “This one’s new,” he says, and Clint shivers a little. Scar tissue ain’t exactly sensitive, but it’s been a while since he’s been touched, and Bucky Barnes is doing the touching. “Death was always a possibility,” he says, and Bucky’s hand curves around Clint’s hip, something possessive in the movement even before he pulls Clint back against him. “That’s why you stick with your damned team,” Bucky says, low and into his ear, and if he’d known this was something that could be waiting for him, if he’d suspected for even a second what Bucky’s stubble would feel like against his neck, he’d’ve come back to Hawkeye a whole hell of a lot sooner. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “I dunno,” Clint said, waving the hand with the beer in it, and then brushing futilely at the puddle on his leg. “I guess I always just assumed clown was, like, a punishment. Like, who grows up wanting to be a clown?”“Me,” said the new clown. He was shorter than Clint and solid, long dark hair and pale eyes. He glared at everyone like he kinda wanted to kill them, and Clint wanted to climb him like a tree. “I can see that,” Clint said, and grinned all lopsided. “There’s a lot of joy in your soul.” Unexpectedly, the clown guy smiled at that, and fuck, maybe that’s why he didn’t do it all the time, because that thing could blind a person if they looked at it straight on. “That’s right,” clown guy said, “I’m a fuckin’ delight.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “It’s really not that complicated.” “Yeah, for super geniuses, maybe.” Natasha made a considering face. “I am pretty sure I understand it.” “Me too,” said Steve, mouth quirked like he was laughing a little, and Clint’d walk out only it never paid to draw attention to a weak spot like that. Couldn’t help scowling at the table, though, couldn’t help shoving out of his chair once the briefing was done. “Hey, Barton,” Bucky called, and Clint swore under his breath before turning. “What?” “You wanna go find Stark so he can explain it in small words?” “Go fuck yourself, Barnes,” Clint snapped, betrayed to the core of him. “I can still shoot better than you.” Bucky blinked. “Not gonna dispute that.” “Then quit ragging on the guy with the junior high education, huh?” Bucky shrugged, his mouth curved into a smile that was somehow inviting Clint to share in the joke. “I was in full time work by the time I was 14, pal, half the shit these guys say goes straight over my head. Doesn’t stop me kicking Steve’s ass all over the gym. Like education says anything about how smart a guy is, anyway.” Clint rubbed the back of his neck, awkward and a little guilty. “Sorry,” he said. Bucky waved him away. “I get it. So, wanna ask Stark to explain it in little words?” Clint cocked his head. “If you’ll come get a coffee with me after?” “I may not be a genius,” Bucky said, “but I’m not dumb enough to pass that up.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “You make me want things that I can’t have.” “What do you think you can’t have?” Clint rolled up onto his side, started picking grass seeds out of Bucky’s hair, running his fingers through it hypnotically. “I’ll fight whatever’s stopping you, you know that.” “I dunno,” Bucky said, “what does any guy want? House, marriage, kids. Dog, maybe.” “Dog definitely,” Clint said, like it was something that they could actually have. “What exactly is can’t about that?” For a second, Bucky let himself imagine it. For a second, he let himself smile up at Clint like he pretty much always wanted to, soft and in love and stupid with it. “You see kids running around the tower?” he asked. “You see any decent agency letting us adopt in the first place? Pretty sure even the dog is pushing it, so far as responsibility goes.” Clint brushed hair away from Bucky’s forehead, and his small smile was kind of at odds with what Bucky was saying. “Seriously?” he said, not disbelieving precisely, but with a sort of dawning wonder that meant maybe believing was new. “You want that with me?” Bucky shrugged, long grass moving under his shoulders. “Pretty much want everything with you,” he said. “So this is the part where I tell you I’ve got a farm, huh?” Clint said, focused on smoothing some flyaway strands, maybe so he didn’t have to meet Bucky’s eyes. “Yeah?”“I mean not yet, I get you’ve got that whole epic sense of responsibility for Steve, still, but when you’re ready…” “I got no clue what I did to deserve you,” Bucky said, reaching up to cup Clint’s cheek. “Something pretty terrible, I guess,” Clint said, and let himself be pulled down into a kiss. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “I don’t owe you an explanation.” “The hell you don’t,” Steve yelled, storming across the helipad towards him, face like a thundercloud. “What kind of irresponsible jackass are you, that you’d miss -”“Clint was going into surgery,” Bucky said, chin tilted up, defiant. “And fuck you if you think I’m gonna -”“While your dedication to the team is appreciated,” Steve said, holding onto his temper by a thread, “maybe you shoulda thought about the team that was actually going into battle instead of -”“I’m in love with him,” Bucky said. “I wouldn’t’ve been any use to you anyway.” “Jeez, Buck,” Steve said, pushing his hood off and running a hand through his sweat-soaked hair. And for a minute there, he was Steve, Steve Rogers, the best friend he grew up with. Then Captain America kicked himself back in. “That’s still - you’ve still got to get yourself together. You can’t just cry off ‘cos your boy’s having minor -”“One in ten chance he loses the use of the arm,” Bucky said, low and flat. “One in seven he doesn’t hold a bow again. Haven’t slept in a week ‘cos he keeps waking up hollering, scared to death that he’s gonna let you down.” Bucky let out a long breath. “You specifically, did you know that? About his serious case of hero worship? ‘cos I couldn’t help noticin’ you heading out on a mission without wishing him luck.” “That’s not - I didn’t -” “That ain’t your priority, maybe, but I gotta make him mine. So next time, how about you delay the mission ten minutes, like I asked you, and I’ll be a responsible jackass instead.”“Love him, huh,” Steve said, the smooth transition to the best friend teasing grin seamless. “Seriously, Clint?”“Yeah, fuck you,” Bucky said, ducking the attempt to ruffle his hair. “I don’t owe you an explanation.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “I never stood a chance, did I?” Clint said, hopeless. Tony followed his line of sight, taking a moment to watch Bucky Barnes as he kicked an AIM agent off a roof. “You get that it’s weird that you think that’s hot, right?” “No, I know,” Clint said, “but it’s not just the -”“- exceptionally gruesome violence -”“Skilled fighting,” Clint said, defensive. “I mean, have you seen the guy smile?” “…one time I saw him grin at a guy’s corpse before kicking it,” Tony said thoughtfully. “Bullshit you did,” Clint said. Then he thought for a second. “Okay, maybe. But it was probably a bad guy.” “Y’know, that’s exceptionally reassuring.”“There’s a possibility I’m in love with him.” Tony patted him comfortingly on the shoulder, still unable to tear his eyes away. “…did he just punch through that guy’s sternum?” he asked, half horrified, and Clint nodded, hand over his face pathetically. “Quickest way to a guy’s heart,” he said. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “I still remember the way you taste.” “Yeah?” Clint called into the shadows, hand clenched tight around splintering wood, “well I still remember which ribs to stake you between, asshole.” “Aaw,” Bucky said, stepping forward into the harsh white light thrown by the streetlight at the entrance to the alley, the sharply angled shadows doing fuckin’ beautiful things to his face. “Did our time together mean so little to you?” “Which time?” Clint asked. “That time you kidnapped me and threatened me a bunch? Or the time I saved your damn afterlife and you repaid me by making freaking holes in my neck?” “Pretty sure I repaid you by not killing you,” Bucky said, casual as anything. He smirked and studied his nails. “And you can’t tell me you didn’t enjoy yourself, just a little.” “That was just, wotsit, Stockholm syndrome.” Clint’s hand flexed a little around the stake as Bucky moved towards him, slow and easily outrun, but he didn’t back away. “And the fact that you still jerk off thinking about me?” Bucky’s voice was low now, dark, a hungry light in his pale eyes. “That you see my face when you dream, is that Stockholm too?” “I dunno,” Clint said, and he should be walking away from this right now, he should be running for his fuckin’ life but he was just standing there, like an idiot, like cattle. “I don’t -” “You don’t -?” Bucky asked, running cool fingers over the skin of Clint’s neck. Clint swallowed, hard, and a shiver raced through him. “I don’t want to die,” he said, and Bucky smiled, sharp and dangerous. “Now where the hell would be the fun in killing you?” he asked. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “And that’s Natasha,” Steve said, gesturing, “and over there is Clint.” “Hey,” Clint said, “welcome to the jungle,” and Bucky froze, stared at him through the hair that’d fallen over his face. “I’ve been waiting a long time,” he said, slow and careful, and Clint swore loudly and fell off the couch. “Did -” Steve said, wondering, “did you guys just -” “Holy shit,” Clint said, “you are not kidding.” He sat himself up, frankly regarding Bucky, a long up and down look that made Bucky wish his last shower had been a little more recent. He pushed his metal hand through tangled, too-long hair, and shifted his weight. Clint was - well, pretty much the definition of his type, actually, which he supposed was the point. “Grateful there’s no actual jungles,” Bucky offered after a minute, and Clint grinned. “I grew up figuring I’d find my soulmate at seventy, so this is a goddamn dream.” His eyes dropped down again, and when he caught Bucky’s eyes his own were dark with promise. “A really good one.” Steve sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I guess we’re holding off on the team bonding then, huh?” Bucky licked his lower lip. “Maybe give us a few days,” he said, and Clint grinned slow. “Maybe give us a week,” he said. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “I should have told you a long time ago,” Clint said, and Bucky snorted. “Goddamn right you should,” he said. Clint shrugged, awkwardly, bound wrists hampering him a little. “I grew up in the circus,” he said. “It was - formative.” “Escapology?” Bucky asked, picking up the flogger and running it through his fingers, butter soft leather against callused skin. “And the lion tamer,” Clint said. He was watching Bucky, and the heat in his eyes was something different, something new, even for how into him Clint had always been. “He was a beautiful man.” “Tread careful,” Bucky growled, and Clint’s tongue slid out to wet his bottom lip. “Don’t want to hear about him?” Clint asked, shifting on his knees. “About how he kissed me up against the wall of our caravan?” Bucky stepped forward, closer to the bed, and rested his knee on the mattress so Clint had to struggle to stay upright, shifting his knees wider. Bucky let his hand drop, trailing soft leather across Clint’s hard cock, soft noises catching in the man’s throat. “You’re mine,” he said, low and implacable, “and every time you goddamn move tomorrow you’re gonna feel it.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “I’m fine,” Clint said, and Bucky folded his arms across his chest, scowling. “I don’t believe you.” “Well that ain’t your call.” He grabbed his bow and stalked off the ‘jet, with the stiff-legged walk of the terminally offended - or the idiot trying desperately to suppress a goddamned limp, of course. Bucky glared at Steve, who shrugged. “Man says he can fight,” he said, and Bucky let out a noise of helpless frustration. “Clint’d say he could fight if he was bleeding out on the sidewalk,” he said. “Clint has said he could fight while bleeding out on the goddamn sidewalk, in fact.”Natasha pushed between them, heading after Clint. “Clint is not a child,” she said. “Worth remembering, I think.” “I’m a hundred goddamn years old,” Bucky yelled after her. “Everyone’s a child!”“Not to butt in,” Tony said, landing on the cracked blacktop with his usual unnecessary dramatics, “but that’s maybe not the best frame of mind to approach a relationship with.” “I’ll listen to you about relationships, Stark, when you quit fucking up your own.” “Bucky,” Steve snapped, and Bucky scowled and marched out of the ‘jet, feeling kinda bad but not bad enough to apologise. “You’re being a fucking asshole,” Clint informed him when he joined him on the rooftop. “Congratulations,” Bucky said, “you’ve met me.” “Oh bullshit,” Clint said, “wouldn’t love you so much if you were this much of an asshole all the time.” “Wouldn’t worry so much if I didn’t love you so much,” Bucky countered, and Clint relaxed enough to smirk. “Touche.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “I want an answer, goddammit!”“And you will have it,” the nurse told him calmly, “as soon as we have any more information to give you. Until then, Mr Rogers, we’d appreciate it if you’d take a seat.” “I’d appreciate it,” Bruce said, voice tight, “if you’d take a seat. Please.” Steve looked at him for a second, jaw visibly clenching, and then he let out a long breath and sat, rocking forward and clenching his hands into fists in his hair. Tony was over at the reception desk, attempting to sweet talk the duty nurse into providing more information; Natasha had her hand on Bruce’s back and was humming something, sweet and low. To Clint, it kinda felt like it was happening somewhere else. Somewhere a galaxy away. Maybe his aids were malfunctioning, ‘cos everyone sounded like they were talking underwater, but every clatter of the doors they weren’t allowed to go past was like a thunderclap in his head. He closed his eyes, stretched his legs out along the row of chairs he’d appropriated, folded his arms tight across his chest. “He can sleep at a time like this?” Steve asked someone, in a universe two steps over, and Clint focused his efforts on remembering how to breathe. Maybe he did sleep, a little, or maybe the universe - for once in his goddamned life - did exactly what he wanted and, for a time, went away. A clatter of thunder, a couple, a storm, and he pushed himself upright and stood shoulder to shoulder with Steve. There was blood on the doctor’s scrubs. Oh, Clint thought. His hand shot out without conscious thought and slapped against the solidity of the wall, kept him standing. “Mr Barnes,” he said, and Clint’s brain didn’t quite grab hold of that, slipped and skipped and took a second to refocus. “ - severe injuries,” the doctor was saying when he managed to tune back in, and her face was probably best described as sympathetic, which was possibly the worst expression that a face had ever worn. “His healing abilities were actively unhelpful when we tried to remove all the shrapnel, and he lost a significant amount of blood. Until he wakes up, we won’t know exactly the extent of the -”“Until?” Clint interrupted, his voice about as steady as his legs. “So he’s - he’s gonna, you know that he’s -”“Yes,” she said. “Absolutely. That at least is not in question.” “Oh,” Clint said, and it took a couple seconds of skewed perspective to notice that he had hit the floor. “Oh, shit.” “Clint?” Steve asked, confused and worried in about equal measure, but there was no way Clint could answer all choked up like he was. “I think,” Natasha said carefully, “our archer’s in love.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Prove it.” Clint giggled helplessly up at the ceiling, his barely closed hand caging his beer just enough that it didn’t fall off the arm of the couch. “Prove it?” he asked, and a metal finger appeared slowly in his view, followed by Bucky’s messy-haired, grinning face. “Prove it.” They’d been drinking for a few hours now, Bucky downing a bottle of vodka for every one of Clint’s beers, and sobriety had officially left the building. The whole building, ‘cos Clint was willing to believe that Bucky’s fumes had intoxicated all of his tenants. Someday he was gonna find something, some mode of being, that made him not wanna kiss the man, but today wasn’t the one. “What do I get if I do?” Clint asked, thoughtful, a little bolder than he might otherwise be. “Whatever your heart desires,” Bucky said, oddly serious for all of a second before he snorted, dropping his head onto Clint’s shoulder and giggling there. “Right,” Clint said, “right, help me up.” They just about managed, through physics, counterbalancing, and judicious and timely application of coffee table, to get Clint to his feet. There was that moment, that instant of sobriety when he dropped his hands to his waistband, where he worried whether this was the best idea. But - fuck it, he figured. Not like anyone here was under any delusions about his status as human disaster area. Clint dropped his pants, stuck his thumb in the waistband of his totally tasteful purple boxers and skinned them down far enough for Bucky to see the stark black writing against the pale skin of his ass. PROPERTY OF SHIELD, it said, with a signature below that he’d learned to forge through carefully placed mirrors, ‘cos Coulson’d always been a guy with access. “Holy shit,” Bucky said, his hand going over his mouth. “I know, right?” Clint said. “I’m a classy guy.” He pulled his boxers back up, shrugged, and just kicked off his pants, leaving them tangled around the legs of a bar stool while he collapsed back next to Bucky. Bucky’s hand dropped to his leg and patted gently, sympathetically, and Clint had to bite down - hard - on his tongue. “So what do I owe ya?” Bucky asked, and Clint rolled his head against the back of the sofa so he could look at the guy, take him in in all his mussed up, flushed beautiful glory. He lifted his hand and, moving careful, tucked a strand of hair behind Bucky’s ear. “I want nothin’ from you I ever wanna coerce,” he said simply, smiling gentle and slow. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “I’m only here to establish an alibi,” Bucky said, out of breath and pulling off his jacket. “So make sure you remember my face.”“Wow,” said the - waiter? Bucky wasn’t exactly sure what he’d put on a resume, since his job seemed to involve carrying shots around while wearing obscenely tiny purple booty shorts. “I’ve gotta wonder what the alternative is that could be worse than this place. Unless it’s murder.” The guy squinted at Bucky, blue eyes even brighter than the glitter sprinkled liberally through his blond hair. “Is it murder?” “Would I tell you if it was?” Bucky asked, smiling his most charming smile at the guy, who seemed unimpressed. With a set of abs like that, though, he was probably turning down hotter people than Bucky on an hourly basis. “You’re kinda sucking at this establishing an alibi thing,” the waiter told him, then pointed over towards the bar. “CCTV cameras are on the entrance, over the bar, and by the restrooms, so make sure you get your face on a couple. And quit insinuating that you shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.” “Wow,” said Bucky, “smart and beautiful, huh?” And he had to admit to the little inward victory dance when the guy flushed a particularly pretty shade of pink. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “People are staring.”“That’s the crazy thing about being this side of the law, Buck,” Clint told him, waving like the queen one minute, shooting finger guns the next, clearly having the time of his life. “When people stare at us, it’s usually for good reasons.” “I don’t know if I like being this visible.” They were all standing on the steps of City Hall, the sea of reporters and spectators in front of them occasionally lapping up the steps and getting chased back by security. They were accepting something, or presenting something, or giving a speech about something - in all honesty, Bucky hadn’t really been listening. Steve was always the responsible one when it came to things like this, and Clint had managed to spill coffee all over himself in the meeting and had stripped off his shirt. Even after months of close contact, of as much time with shirtless Clint as he can possibly manage, he’s still helpless. The day Clint has to lose his shirt in battle is the day Bucky gets taken out by a DoomBot; his attention span evaporates on proximity with Clint’s goddamn back muscles. “Hey,” Clint says, and he’s leaning in close and speaking low, quiet enough that no one else has a chance of hearing it. “Let yourself be a hero, huh? Take a second and accept what everyone else around you sees.” “Swear to god you’re gonna kill me, Barton,” Bucky says, and Clint grins wide. “Nah,” he says, “not yet, not any time soon. I got plans for you and City Hall, someday, Bucky Barnes. Just you wait.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Agent Sitwell was a smooth, smart, faintly sarcastic sort of man, who abided by protocol precisely so far as it served his purpose; when it did not, he talked his way around to a point where it did, with no one else any the wiser. At present he was arguing with Rogers, who couldn’t give less of a damn for protocol when it didn’t match up with what was right. Unstoppable force, immovable object, and this was only the first meeting. “There are concessions that Hydra believe should be made,” Sitwell was saying, a faint smile doing its very best to conceal the faint lines of tension around his eyes. “Given the numerous less than desirable traits of your designated candidate.” “Rude,” said Clint, unheeded by anyone except the Soldier, whose mouth curved up a little on one side. He really was even hotter than his photo, in person. Older, more rugged, his hair longer and unevenly cut, and with an added solidity and an edge of danger that was doing frankly alarming things to Clint’s stomach. “I’d thank you not to insult a member of my team,” Steve said, coldly. “Clint is a good man, a damned fine Avenger, and the best shot I’ve ever seen.”“All excellent qualities in a husband, I’m sure,” Sitwell said, snidely. “As opposed to being a mercenary and assassin, I guess,” Steve answered acidly. “I’m sorry, should I be bringing up Agent Barton’s checkered resume?” Clint sidled over towards the door, trying to look casual and probably failing miserably as soon as he got a closer look at the Soldier’s arm. “Okay,” he said, quiet so as not to interrupt the negotiations, “that thing is just cool.” The Soldier didn’t say anything, but he twisted his arm a little and clenched his fist, all the plates up the arm shifting and resettling. It was kinda hard to look at it as anything other than preening, and Clint was gonna take that as a good sign. “…already been married…” Clint caught, and he winced. That was a conversation he really wasn’t interested in hearing, frankly. “Hey,” he said, thoughtful. “You wanna get out of here?” “Pretty sure we’re supposed to wait until after the wedding,” the Soldier answered, his voice rusty but amused. Clint choked on a laugh, red flooding his cheeks. “Okay, interesting thought, but I was just… gonna show you the range.” “Range?” The Soldier said, cocking his head, his attention clearly caught, and Clint grinned properly for the first time since the whole marriage subject had originally come up. Maybe this could work out for them after all. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Compliance. That’s pretty much what his village wanted from him. Compliance and quiet when Hydra came calling, when they took their share of whatever they figured they were entitled to without regard for how much was needed. Clint was never much good with quiet, with compliance, but he was a hell of a shot with a bow. He wished he had it now, although whether he’d be shooting his escort was legitimately up for debate. There were things in the trees, things that rustled and growled and there were reasons the villagers stayed out of the forest, and they weren’t all him. Him. Whoever he was. They’d always called him Winter’s Soldier, ‘cos that was when he came, once a year, as far as the lightning-struck tree and - provided there was tribute there - no further. In Clint’s memory they’d never failed to provide it, ‘cos there were stories. Stories that couldn’t possibly be true, not with the age of the man, but that sat well with his edge of darkness, the ashes around his eyes. Still. He was something to be feared, sure, but there was worse out in the darkness, and Clint scooted a little closer to the guy’s heels, his hands flexing around nothing, useless. “So what is it I’m here for?” Clint asked, and the tension in the man’s shoulders coiled a little tighter. “What d’you get out of this? ‘cos there are assumptions - virgins, obviously - but no one ever said if you made that request.” Clint grinned a little, blind, into the darkness. “If that’s your type, I hate to break it to you, but -”“Quiet,” the Soldier snapped. He paused, looking up at the sky for a moment, the way it was edging from black to grey, and then abruptly changed their direction, heading over tumbled rocks and uneven ground. Clint swore and flailed and attempted to keep up, making enough noise for any three people, and by the time they came to the entrance to a low cave the Soldier looked about ready to murder him. Clint’d say it was better than the alternative, but he’d always favored men, and the Soldier was a damned fine specimen of one. Inside, the cave was dry at least but small, and the small cache of weapons, firewood, miscellaneous kit indicated that it was a stopping place and nothing like a home. Clint settled himself against a wall, held his hands out mutely when the Soldier grabbed a knife, ‘cos he was willing to offer compliance if it meant he could peel the rough rope away from where it’d bitten into his wrists. He groaned in mingled pain and relief when the knife sliced through, and he picked fibers away and regarded his mangled and bleeding skin with a sense of helplessness. The Soldier moved deeper into the cave and then tossed him something, and Clint caught it unerringly and then regarded the small clay pot with frustration, anger, that same sense of helplessness magnified a thousand times. He dipped his fingers into the slick ointment, rubbed it between them, set the clay pot carefully on the floor. “Guess I am your type, then,” he said, low and furious, and the Soldier slanted him a sideways look that was a little annoyed, a little amused. “For your wrists,” he said. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Clint hauled himself over the window sill, arms aching after the arduous climb. The inside of the tower was darker than he would’ve expected, lit by only one window, and the only furniture he could see was a chair that looked like a barber-surgeon’s nightmare. Everything else was dust-coated and dull, but the chair gleamed like a hungry wolf’s grin. “Er,” he said, and his voice almost startled him, unexpectedly loud in the silence. “So this looks bad.” “You have no idea,” a voice said from the darkness, cold and rusty and flat. The long hair was the first thing he noticed, long and ragged as though it’d been cut with a knife; the barber-surgeon was slacking on at least one part of his trade. The next thing to notice should have been the amount of dark leather, pants and sleeves and fingerless gloves, should have been the odd glimmer of his fingers in the darkness, but Clint’s attention was taken by the weapon held ready to strike. “Is that… a frying pan?” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “You know this is ridiculous, right?”“Oh believe me,” the prince said, his hair elegantly clubbed at the back of his neck, his suit darker than the fashion but still expensively cut and beautifully turned out, and yet still managing to look like something alien to the setting, something wild. “I am well aware of that.” He shot a glare over to the corner of the room, where Tony and Steve were conspiring together, standing perhaps a little closer than propriety allowed. “What in hell’s name made you think I’d come?” Clint had found himself a suit for the occasion, battered and sawdust-powdered and too big. He hadn’t the slightest doubt that he looked painfully ridiculous, but he felt rather as though he was staring at a play, as though he was an invisible audience, unregarded by those who weren’t truly part of his world. “You’re here, aren’t you?” The prince said, and Clint shrugged and conceded the point; he’d been far too curious about the invitation to refuse it. They stood in uncomfortable silence for a moment or two, watching the elegant spin of couples and oversized dresses. “Want to dance?” The prince asked diffidently. “Can’t,” Clint answered, and the way the other man’s shoulders straightened, unconscious movement, a guard against revealing themselves by slumping, indicated he cared rather more about Clint’s answer than his tone would suggest. Damn it, Clint thought. “Want to go out on the balcony and press me up against something again?” Clint asked, low and mischievous and met by a flare of heat in the prince’s eyes. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Bucky watched as Clint scaled the side of the building, ignoring the rusted and precarious fire escape in favour of fingertip holds on windowsills, impossible footholds, improbable stretches. “Guy’s flexible,” he said, off-hand, to Natasha. “You’re having a thought,” she said, amused. “A lot of people have that thought. Then they get to know him.” “Huh,” Bucky said. Then he got to know him. Late night commiserating over nightmares with ice cream and crappy TV. Post-mission banter and paper airplane wars. Trick shot battles at the range - which Clint always won, of course, ‘cos Hydra didn’t exactly value the ability to shoot while upside down. Bucky started to value time spent with Clint over any other activity. Started to value Clint’s smiles over any other sight. Three months in he leaned against a wall next to Natasha, thoughtful silence between them. “You’re still having a thought,” she said. Bucky stayed silent. “If you hurt him,” she said, and he almost half-smiled, ‘cos he’d given the few dates Steve’d ever managed that talk, too. “I’ll wait for him to be done with you,” she said, “and then kill you.” “He won’t kill me?” Bucky asked, amused. “He likes you,” Natasha told him. Bucky looked at her sidelong, put a little offended into his tone. “You don’t like me?” “I don’t love you,” she said, and he blinked, blinked again. “He -”“His balance is exceptional,” she said, “but he falls fast and hard. Don’t get into this if you’re not ready for that.” She pushed away from the wall, continuing without looking around him, at the mess of confusion that currently showed on his face. “Don’t hurt him.”“I don’t wanna hurt him,” he said, soft, low, more revealing than he meant it. “That’s not even nearly the same thing,” she said. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “We could get arrested for this.” “I have warrants out for my arrest in at least seven countries,” Clint said, shrugging. “Plus I figure, avenging, there’s a little leeway.” “Only seven?” Bucky asked, the irresistible smirk Clint rarely saw curling the edge of his mouth. “Some of us have an average lifespan, pal. Gimme seventy years and I’ll have warrants throughout the damned galaxy.” He cupped his hands together, lowered them in front of Bucky, but the only response was a contemptuous look. Instead, Bucky yanked at the chickenwire until it parted under his hand, folding back the fence and waving Clint through. “The aim is not to get arrested,” Clint complained. The signs attached to the fence were so old as to be almost unreadable, rusting and pockmarked and sun faded. Inside, nature was taking over, saplings growing through cracks in the concrete, ivy climbing through broken windows that stared out of the old ramshackle building. “Why’re we here?” Bucky asked, and Clint beckoned to him, leading the way across the crack-mazed forecourt and up broken steps, pushing open a blue-painted door with the squeal of rusted hinges. “It used to be a high school,” Clint said, his voice hushed in the stillness. “There was an incident with a chemical spill and a horde of mutated wildlife; some kid from the archery club made a dent, but the school ended up condemned.”“I thought you ran away to the circus,” Bucky said, and Clint grinned. “I was in and out of schools any time it was the off-season,” he said, “and besides, who said it was me?” “I dunno,” Bucky said, “archer, dumbass heroics, stupidly brave - sounds familiar.” Clint ducked his head and grinned at the floor, holding one hand behind him for Bucky to grab hold of. “Totally-not-me kid had his locker on this hallway,” Clint said, and then laughed a little when he saw the solid metal rank of lockers, still in place. He gave Bucky a sideways, mischievous grin and headed straight for two down, three across, not bothering with the combination but smacking it precisely in three different spots. It popped open with a clatter, and a couple of moth-chewed books fell out. Bucky’s attention, though, was caught by the poster pasted to the inside of the metal door - vintage, faded, and a little painful in its familiarity. A group shot: the Commandos, grinning wide and standing tall; the picture had been pasted so that Bucky was front and center. “So when I said ‘from the first time I saw you…’” Clint said, leaning back against the lockers and folding his arms across his chest, his smile doing nothing to conceal the pink on his cheeks. “I honestly don’t know whether to be flattered or disturbed,” Bucky said, and Clint snorted. “You’d be surprised how often I hear that,” he said. “So.” Bucky placed his metal hand against the lockers, leaned in close. “How many times did you picture this?” he asked, watching Clint’s pupils widen, his eyes flutter closed, as Bucky leaned in for high-school kisses, a little hot, a little desperate, full of promise. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “All the leaves are brown,” Bucky sang, bopping a little more than he needed to ‘cos Clint’s nauseous noises were kinda hilarious, “and the sky is gray -”“’nskyz gray,” Clint mumbled helpfully. “I been for a walk -”“fra walk -”“On a winter’s day -”“Wnter soldier daaaaay -”“Oh, archer’s got jokes, huh?” Bucky said, dipping his shoulder a little so Clint flailed and almost fell off, grabbing hold of Bucky’s shirt and moaning faintly. “How about I laugh your ass onto the sidewalk, huh? How about you walk yourself home?” “Nooooo,” Clint said, “I’m dyin’“. “You’re an easy drunk, that’s what you are,” Bucky said, hauling Clint up into a slightly less precarious position and cutting down the alley by his building. “Not easy,” Clint said. “Playin’ hard. To get.” “You got your eye on someone?” Bucky asked, and now he was the one feeling a little nauseous. “Alla my eyes,” Clint said. “Can’t look anywhere else. Whole time, right in fronna me.” “Natasha?” Bucky asked, kinda incredulous, ‘cos if there was something there they hid it well. “Nah,” Clint said. “Right in fronna me,” and he gave Bucky’s butt a friendly pat. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Hey Tony!” Clint yelled, turning halfway around on the couch, balancing precariously with one elbow dug deep into the cushions, looming half over Bucky. “Tony, your porn sucks!” “Bite me, Barton,” Tony yelled back, doing something complicated-sounding with the coffee machine. “Um no,” Clint hollered, “judging by this shit you’d like it too much!” “Remind me why we’re watching Tony’s shitty porn?” Bucky asked, looking up at Clint, firmly in the eye, trying not to look at how Clint’s twisting had made his shirt ride up a little. “‘cos I have a curious goddamn soul,” Clint said, “and -” He’d turned back a little, to talk to Bucky, and then he turned fully and dropped onto the couch again with a thump, one hell of a lot closer to Bucky than he’d been. “Oh for fuck’s -” he said, “this is just - no one can hold that position that long, that’s just fuckin’ -”“Not entirely clear how he got into it in the first place,” Bucky observed. “Oh, getting into it’s no problem,” Clint said, regarding the panting, sweating guy with a professional’s eye, “but without proper support you’re gonna put your back out in two, maybe three minutes. Especially with all the -”“Thrusting,” Bucky said, kinda enthralled. “Right.” Clint tilted his head. “If they tried it over a table, maybe, I could see that workin’.” “With an acrobat, maybe.” “I’m an acrobat,” Clint said, casual, and when Bucky turned his head he caught the guy’s eye, the considering look he was giving him. “Huh,” said Bucky, and licked his lips. When Tony came through from the kitchen there was a discarded shirt on the coffee table, and it was getting a little hard to tell where one guy ended and the other began. On the screen, too. “Hate to break it to you, boys,” he said, “but this one’s Steve’s.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Clint had made a hell of a lot of concessions since Bucky moved out of Steve’s quarters and moved into his apartment, he’d like that noted for the record. Admittedly he hadn’t had to give up quite as much as Bucky had - Bed-Stuy wasn’t exactly a match for Stark Tower, he got that, and the roof wasn’t quite so good as Tony’s range - but still, there’d been changes. Black out curtains in the bedroom. A fancier coffee machine that Clint hadn’t quite worked out how to use. Picking up after himself so Bucky didn’t fall down the stairs in the middle of the night. (Again.)This, though, this was a bit much. “Can you quit measuring the windows?” Clint asked, trying and failing to concentrate on Dog Cops. “Need to get a quote,” Bucky said, snapping the tape measure closed decisively. “Yeah,” Clint grumbled, “not sure where you think I’m gonna get the money for bulletproof glass anyhow. The renovations after the Russians pretty much cleared me out.” “I’ve got back pay,” Bucky said, shrugging, stepping over Clint’s legs and blocking his view of Inspector Rex being adorable, dammit. “Yeah, and you’re bulletproof, essentially.” Clint twisted around on the couch - screw it, he was gonna have to watch this episode again anyway - and watched Bucky march over to the tiny unregarded window under the staircase. “I mean seriously, how long does it take you to heal?” Bucky glowered at him from under the staircase. “Fuck, you’re an idiot,” he said. “Hey, look, I’m just pointing out the obvious, here. I mean, justifiable paranoia, maybe, but of all the things that could kill you -”The tape measure slithered closed again, and Bucky stood in silence for a moment. His voice, when it drifted out of the shadows, was slow and frustrated and calling Clint all kinds of colors of idiot. “Whose apartment is it, Clint?” he asked. “Mine, obviously. Or -” he could feel himself getting a little pink. “Well, ours, I gue- Oh. Shit. I’m not bulletproof.” “You fuckin’ idiot,” Bucky said, and somehow it sounded like another three words entirely. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Clint was leaning back against the headboard, and Bucky was between his legs, low enough that Clint could rest his chin on the top of his head. Robot butlers - which sent Tony crazy whenever he said it, the gross oversimplification even more fun, therefore, to say - were good for a lot, but lowering the room temperature to ‘bearable when covered in Bucky’ had to be right up the top. Bucky shrugged his shoulder a little, and Clint obligingly turned the page. Superman’s heat vision was drying up a flooded city, steam rising against the violently blue-inked sky. There was a smear of chocolate just at the edge of the page; Barney’d borrowed this once, then. “I don’t get it,” Bucky said, and Clint snorted. “Hey, don’t knock the thing that made you famous,” he said, and even from the back of Bucky’s head he could tell the guy was scowling. “Yeah, as a kid, which is weird on levels I don’t wanna go into.” “So that’s your beef with the comics?” Clint asked. “No, I just don’t - I mean, this guy’s boring. He’s basically magic, he can superpower his way out of anything, what kind of interesting story comes outta that?”Clint leaned in, grinning, and nosed up the back of Bucky’s ear. “That’s what a superhero is, genius,” he said. “…you know that’s bullshit though, right?” “Huh?” Clint shifted back a little when Bucky flailed around, hampered by the blankets and kicking them away as he rolled to kneeling in front of Clint, searching his face - for what, Clint had no clue. “Clint, you know -” Bucky examined the blank expression Clint was pretty sure he was wearing and tried another tack. “Okay,” he said, slow and careful, “what is it that you do?” “I - shoot things?” he said, uncertainly. “Okay. And Steve, what does he do?” “He saves people,” Clint answered, instant and sure. “And how is that different from what you do?” he asked. Clint frowned, honestly confused now. “He’s in charge,” he said. “He tells me what to do, I do it. Point and shoot.” “So I’m not a hero, then,” Bucky said, flat, and Clint reached out instantly, cupping his cheek in his hand. “No, Buck, of course you’re -”“I save people, right?” Bucky said, a little frown creasing the skin between his eyebrows. “Absolutely,” Clint said. “And I follow Steve’s orders so we can save people,” he said, and he didn’t sound uncertain but Clint had to make sure. “You’re amazing, Bucky, you’re a goddamn hero.” “And I’ve got super strength, healing, eyesight, a kickass metal arm… So what would you call a guy without all that, who did everything I do?”“I -” Clint said, stumped. “I guess…” “That’s what a superhero is, genius,” Bucky said, and leaned in to kiss his slack, surprised mouth. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “I’ve missed this.” Clint made the sort of vaguely inquisitive noise that’d served sleepy partners for the length of recorded history, and Bucky obligingly continued like they were mid-conversation, like his contribution was valid. “I know, it should be the sex, right?” Clint hummed again. “And I thought that’d be - I mean, not that I got around, but -” He huffed out a breath, and Bucky echoed it in a laugh. “Yeah, I know, standards are different. But this, this I missed, but -” His voice died away for a minute, long enough for Clint to rouse himself, shove up on his elbows enough to press a kiss just at the notch where his henleys buttoned, that little patch of skin that always looked lacking a kiss. “But in the way you miss something you never had,” Bucky said, quiet and meditative. “Like I knew I was missing it, but I never knew what shape it should be until I had you here.” Bucky laughed a little to himself, in the darting tv static of not quite dark, and smoothed a palm over the back of Clint’s head. “I’m glad you ain’t awake for the soppy shit, ‘cos you’d only argue against it.” And then he ducked down, close enough that Clint could barely feel the warmth of his breath, just on the edge of sleep. “Gonna hide the ‘love you’ in your dreams.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- The nights when he saved someone were the worst. Not the nights he lost someone - correction, there’d never been a night he’d lost someone. No one had drowned on Beech Point in the last thirty years, and that’d been a large part of the reason Bucky’d taken the job. He wasn’t sure he’d’ve survived that, but the guilt that still weighed heavy on his shoulders wouldn’t let him take any job that wouldn’t somehow help. Jayqwon Marshall was tiny and chubby and not all that popular, so no one but Bucky’d noticed when he’d drifted away a little, stopped paying attention, stayed too still. It’d been a simple enough rescue, barely even so deep as his chest; hadn’t even needed mouth to mouth or CPR. His brain had been full of what-ifs, though, too big for his tiny beach-front house, and he’d had to come back down to the water. The ocean was invisible in the darkness. Didn’t happen often this time of the year, and when there was any sort of moon it didn’t happen at all. But tonight all there was was the sound of the sea, a gentle hushing that soothed Bucky’s mind clean as he stared out over the endless black. Until there was a noise that didn’t belong. A soft splash too big to be anything that should be this close to this shore. “Fuck,” a soft curse, out of place in the darkness, then rustling. “Aaw, net.” “Is someone out there?” Bucky called, and the dark got a little more pointedly silent, like someone holding their breath. “You shouldn’t - it’s not safe out here at night.”There was another flopping sorta splash, a struggle that Bucky woulda thought was a big fish if there wasn’t some very human curses to go along with it. Eventually it stilled, and the voice came again, breathless this time. “Hey,” the man said. “Hi. Little help?” It was coming from the left of him, from the little jetty where kids fished for crabs, where little boats bobbed in the drawn in tide. Bucky made his way over, picking carefully between shell fragments that were cruel to bare feet. “The fuck are you doing out here?” Bucky asked, and a voice came from closer than he’d have thought. “Look, if I’m not supposed to be here, you’re not supposed to be here, so how about you give me a hand and neither of us tells the hot lifeguard.” Bucky was glad for the darkness. “Too late,” he said, and waded out into the sea, waves dragging against his legs a little like a playful pet. “Aaw,” the voice came again, and it sounded so resigned that Bucky laughed a little, waded closer. “How is this my life?” “You go swimming at night you get what you’re given,” Bucky said. He was starting to see a shape now, grainy in the bare light from far-off street lamps, a guy who was bare-chested and shoulder-deep even in the shallow water, sitting or reclining and wrapped around with a net. “How the hell did you -?” Bucky asked, sloshing closer so he could get a better look, try and work out where to start. “I’m pretty special,” the guy said, and the shadows on his face changed enough to suggest a grin. “Hang on,” Bucky said, and he pulled his phone out of the pocket in his cargo shorts, fumbling for the flashlight. “No,” the guy yelped, holding his hand out, “wait -”The glare of white light blinded Bucky for a second, and the man in the water lifted a hand to shield his eyes, swearing under his breath. Bucky did, too, when he got a closer look. When he saw that the net wasn’t tangled around pale hairy legs like it should be, but was instead wrapped and caught around a slickly scaled iridescent purple tail. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Bucky comes through the door as quietly as he’s able, which is pretty damned quiet even with the tired that’s weighing down his bones. ‘cos they’re classy as hell, there’s folded newspaper by the door for the boots they’re too tired to clean right away; the rest of his clothes get left in the bottom of the shower, leaking rusty brown down the drain with the dirt that was left on him. Clint’s left the laundry too long again, so the only towel left’s the bleach-stained blue one that’s old enough they can’t even tell which hotel it’s stolen from any more. Sometimes they bicker about it, when they’ve run out of actual fights. It’s kinda scratchy, kinda stiff, and better than any plush bath sheet in any hotel on the planet. (Bucky laughs at himself in the mirror as he attempts to scrub some of the water out of his hair with a washcloth. He’s been gone too damned long if he’s getting sentimental about a fuckin’ towel.)He makes his quiet way through the apartment, aided by the little gentle nightlights Clint’s got plugged into every damn outlet, ‘cos he’s helpless when he’s half asleep. Ain’t nothing half about the snores rattling out of their bedroom, and Bucky laughs again. Clint snores somethin’ awful but only when he’s on his own, sprawled out on his back in the middle of the bed. Bucky watches him for a second or two, his rumpled hair, the dark circles under his eyes, his slack drooling mouth, and there’s not even the barest doubt. He gave his heart to this mess of a human being, and he can’t see himself ever taking it back. Clint stirs a little when Bucky lifts the blanket and slides onto the mattress, half waking enough to roll onto his side, stopping the god-awful noise. “Bucky bear,” he says, mumbled and indistinct, and Bucky’s gonna keep that one saved in the mocking bank for sometime special. He slides his hand across Clint’s side, edging under the sleep-warm shirt, and curls it around him, then flinches abruptly back as he hits something cold and a little soggy. “Holy - what the fuck?” he hisses, and pulls down the blanket far enough to see a bag of peas wrapped in a dish towel, cold and leaking onto the sheets. He picks it up and tosses it onto the floor, pulling Clint’s shirt up a little further, pressing his fingers against cooled flesh and checking for discoloration.“Whatcha doin’?” Clint says on a yawn, eyes flickering halfway open. “You hurt yourself?” he asks, accusing, and Clint frowns. “No, what -”“The ice pack, asshole,” Bucky growls, and Clint smiles slow and sleepy and a little stupid. “Missed yer arm,” he mumbles, and tucks himself back into the curve of Bucky’s body, hauling Bucky’s left arm over his middle and pulling his shirt down over the top of it. Bucky blinks at the back of his head for a second, and buries his smile in pillow-rumpled blond hair. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “…just the one room for you two gents?” The receptionist says, her polite smile freezing in place. Clint turns back to Bucky and gives him an exaggerated eye-roll, opens his mouth to - who knows, with Clint. Could be to change the booking, inconvenient as that would be, could be to make a lewd joke. Before he can say a word, Bucky steps in close, pressed up against his back, and wraps an arm around his waist.“We’re on our honeymoon,” he says, making and maintaining eye contact long past the comfortable. Everything about his posture is precisely calculated to ask if the viewer’s got a problem with that; everything is calculated to make sure they fuckin’ don’t.“Congratulations,” the woman says tightly, and she lowers her eyes and types rapidly on the computer, scanning in two room keys and handing them over with careful fingers, making sure not to make contact with Clint’s calloused hand.“Yeah, we’re very happy,” Clint says, bending to grab his bag, but Bucky’s not quite done. He’s standing too close when Clint straightens up, his eyebrow cocked the way it always is when he’s got himself a plan. And Clint reads his mind - way he always does - and grins a little mischievous grin that shivers all the way down to Bucky’s toes.It’s brief, perfectly appropriate, nothin’ that belongs behind doors, just a quick brush of lips, the barest touch of Clint’s tongue. Bucky doesn’t even bother looking for the reaction, just hauls his bag onto his shoulder and heads for the elevators, ‘cos they might have a problem in the fact that he didn’t want to stop. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “You really are,” Sam panted, “a pair of assholes.” He tensed up his shoulders and folded in the wings, bracing for the jolting they’d never managed to engineer out of ‘em. “And yet,” Clint said, folding his hands on top of Bucky’s head and resting his chin on them, hunched over like a gargoyle just to make a point, “still both better shots than you.” It had been something to fuckin’ see, Sam couldn’t argue with that one. Bucky’d been double-fisting, gun in each hand, picking off Hydra agents that dared get close enough to be in range. Sitting in his shoulders, Clint effortlessly shifted to keep his balance as he nocked and drew, firing perfect shot after perfect shot and making the rest of them look bad. Bucky shook his head, dislodging Clint’s hands like you would a fly, but Clint was never that easy. “Hands up,” he said, and Bucky raised one hand, his metal arm held in front of his chest so Clint could push off it with one foot, holding Bucky’s other hand to keep him steady as he got one foot on Bucky’s shoulder, then the other. Bucky shifted his weight a little, settling in place, then hooked his hands behind Clint’s knees to keep him steady. “Oh shit,” Clint said, “Steve’s coming,” and he clambered down awkwardly until he was making like a koala, hangin’ off Bucky’s back and attempting to hide behind his head. “What in hell’s name is going on here?” Steve yelled, red-faced and tousled and reassuringly human in the way that let Sam hope. “He won a bet,” Bucky said, resigned, as Clint yelled from behind his head. “THE FLOOR IS LAVA!” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “So what’s it like to be the only one without superpowers on a team like the Avengers?” The host asked, his ruler-straight teeth gleaming a little unnervingly under the studio lights.“I’m assuming you mean ‘the only one who makes it obvious,’” Clint said, with an only slightly forced grin. “'Cos Black Widow’s been a part of all this before they recruited me.”“Right,” the host says. He’s obviously a little uncomfortable, tries a wink and a grin to salvage it. “Well can you blame me if it’s not her skills I focus on?”“Oh wow,” Clint said, backed up by a couple of outraged noises from the audience. “Wow, I’m gonna really enjoy telling her you said that.”“Am I going to enjoy it?” The guy asked, and Clint sat back on his seat, resting his foot on the opposite knee, and rocked his hand back and forth.“Guess it depends how good your security is at home,” he said, and the audience laughed. The host didn’t.There was a moment’s awkward silence and then Clint’s phone trilled. “Aw, phone,” he said, and yanked it out of his pocket, but the studio lights had made his palms sweaty enough to fumble it, and the host - Clint hadn’t really listened to his name - smoothly picked it up.“Sorry,” Clint said, “I know you guys said to turn it off, but -”“But you’re an important guy. 'The Fugitive,’” he read out, exaggerated curiosity in his expression. “Is that the Hulk calling?”“Hulk doesn’t so much use phones,” Clint said. “That’s Bucky - er, James Barnes, the Winter Soldier.”“Think he’d be up for a chat?” The host asked, and Clint genuinely startled at the screams from the audience.“Er,” he said, “I don’t -”His deferral came a little too late.“Hey, Bucky Barnes,” too loud and too brash, and Clint winced a little at Bucky’s imagined expression. “This is Dick Travers, MidWest Tonight. We’ve got a few people eager to hear from you, here.”Another round of screaming and Clint flinched and slapped his hands to his aids, hurriedly turning them down.“ - of them Clint?” Bucky drawled, sounding unimpressed even muted.“He’s right here,” Travers said, “say hi, Clint!”“Hey, Buck,” Clint said, apologetic as he knew how.“Hey, Clint,” Bucky said, and his tone was hard to read at this volume. “We’ll talk when you get back, right?”Clint was starting to feel a little overwhelmed in all honesty - usually the more media-friendly Avengers were roped into this kind of shit, he and Bucky mostly got left at home, sniggering together on the couch at how uncomfortable Steve always looked. Bucky’s voice, too soft, in front of a studio audience helped a little, but Clint would rather be leaning against his side, hearing his voice up close in his ear.“You haven’t got time to chat?” Travers asked, and Bucky’s voice wasn’t exactly friendly in response.“If I had time I’d get roped into talking to you, so I’m gonna be busy for as long as I can,” Bucky said, and Clint could almost hear Steve tearing his hair out. “Hang in there, Clint.”He was such an asshole. Clint couldn’t hide his grin.“Later Buck,” he said, “love you.”And for five confusing seconds, he had no clue what the audience was screaming about. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Okay,” Clint said, sounding weird, a sort of restrained excitement to his tone, “and no one’s seen them in daylight, right?” he asked. “I’m pretty sure no one’s seen the exsanguinating murderers at all,” Tony said, “but we’d better be seeing them soon if we want to get the damned WSC off our backs.” “This,” Clint said solemnly, “is the best day of my life.” He slung the bag he’d been carrying onto the cracked concrete of the alley; inside it, something sloshed. “There’s something seriously wrong with you,” Sam said, and Clint looked up from his unzipping to give him a slightly manic, beaming smile. With his hair all pushed out of place by the nightvision goggles he was wearing on top of his head, he looked like some kinda crazy scientist, and Bucky really shouldn’t be finding him as attractive as he did right now goddammit. “I,” Clint said, “have the solution.” He started passing out brightly colored plastic - Bucky kinda hesitated to call them ‘guns’ ‘cos it was an insult to good weaponry. His sloshed as he turned it over, examining it carefully. “You gotta -” Clint said, and made the kind of hand gesture that pre-teen boys delighted in. Bucky stared at him, one eyebrow raised. “Jeez, Clint,” Sam said, and showed them with the gun what he’d meant, pumping it up and priming it to fire. “And this is - ?” Tony asked. “Holy water,” Clint said, smug as anything. “They’re clearly vampires.” There was a pause. Natasha broke it, swearing in Russian. “You’re an idiot,” Sam told Clint seriously, and Bucky’d usually argue just for the sake of arguing with Sam, even if it wasn’t Clint he was going for, but this time he might have to admit the guy had a point. “I am a genius,” Clint said, and picked up his own water pistol, firing it over Steve’s shoulder and hitting something that hissed, screeched, melted like some kinda bad movie effect. The Avengers stared in genuine, open-mouthed astonishment. “Well spank my ass and call me Buffy,” Clint yelled, jubilant. “It worked.” Steve swiftly split them up, not willing to argue with what worked, no matter how ridiculous. Bucky sidled up next to Clint, under cover of grabbing another gun from the bag. “As a war cry, it could use some work,” he said, amused. “Not a war cry,” Clint said, and turned to grin at him, wide and bright and way too close. “More like a request.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Clint counted out the stack of bills, laughed a little through a throat that was kinda sore, this time of the night. He’d broke about even, after gas money and the couple drinks he’d had, the new strings he’d had to shell out for after Jess found out about the accidental redhead. Bartender always told him he’d probably do better for tips if he didn’t insist on covering so much Dolly Parton, but the woman was a goddess, and Clint wasn’t gonna apologise for that. He tipped his hat at Katie and she rolled her eyes at him, wiping a cloth across the bar like it’d ever be clean, like there was anything holding it together aside from spilled beer and sadness. This late, the bar was almost empty, and if you squinted your eyes almost closed it could be welcoming, kinda place everyone knew your name. Course, if you squinted your eyes almost closed some asshole’d steal your drink for starters, so Clint settled for buzzing neon and stained pool tables, the tape-patched seat of the chair that was practically his. He zipped his guitar case closed and swung it onto his back, hitched himself far enough over the bar’s hatch to fetch the duffel that held his bow. After a day working the farm, afternoon of archery, evening right here, tiredness was pulling at the edges of the day, stretching everything out like taffy. He yawned as he headed out the door at the back, by the men’s room, turning to the right and then heading in a straight line that cut across the scrubby grass they billed as a garden, vaulted the low fence and fetched up right by his truck. He heaved his guitar and his bow into the carpet-lined alcove set aside for them, started threading the blue nylon rope across the top. It was a little tough to see what he was doing with the lights blown out, and he managed to get his fingers caught somehow. “Aaw, rope,” he said sadly, which was when his day really went to shit. “Gimme your wallet,” a voice said behind him, rough and tired in the darkness. “Guitar, too. And whatever’s in the bag.” Clint carefully wiggled his fingers free from whatever screw-up he’d made of the rope and turned around slow, hands held a little away from his sides. There wasn’t much to be seen. Ragged-cut dark hair spilling out from under a ball cap, over-sized army coat with one sleeve tied in a knot, boots that honestly looked a little more hole than leather right now. His face looked hollowed out in the shadow, his eyes glinting in the darkness, his teeth where he was chewing on his lip, the knife he held. “Okay,” Clint said, in his low soothing voice, the one he had legitimately used to talk down lions. “Counter-offer. I give you the cash I made tonight, you leave the guitar and bow, and I take you somewhere I can get you a meal and a change of clothes.” “This ain’t a negotiation, pal,” the man said, and Clint shrugged apologetically. “Look, bro, if it comes to it, I’m gonna win. You gotta work from the assumption that I’m gonna win, okay, ‘cos I’m ex-army and I was fuckin’ good at my job. And I figure you’ve served yourself -” the hand holding the knife lowered slightly, hooah! - “but you’re down at least a few square meals. So let me help you out.” “And why’m I gonna trust you?” Maybe Clint was misreading his tone completely - his aids always fucked up a little after a night of singing - but there was something that he thought was willing to be persuaded, there. “No clue,” Clint said, “but you can ask the bartender inside if I’ve ever been any more of an asshole than your average fuck-up.” He just looked tired, most of all. Like the world had always weighed on his shoulders, but lately it’d been hanging a little heavier. He pushed up his ball cap a little, looked Clint up and down, and the bone structure under the exhaustion and the malnutrition and the distrust was like somethin’ out of a painting. Clint found his mouth was suddenly, inexplicably dry, and he cast around desperately for something to say - the crates resting in the back of his truck saved him. “I’m not offering fine dining,” he said, like that was the decider here. “I’ve got… well, beets, mostly. Mostly beets.” “I, er.” The guy took a step forward, hesitant. “I lived in Russia a while. I can make a pretty good borscht.” “Then I am glad to meet you, ‘cos if there’s something Iowa doesn’t offer it’s a decent borscht.” Clint held out his hand. This was the tipping point, he figured, the more so for a guy with one arm. The guy who regarded him for a second and then tucked his knife in the back of his pants so he could shake his hand. “I’m Clint,” he said. “Clint Barton. I own the Barton farm, clue’s in the name, if you’ve got someone you wanna tell.” “Bucky,” the guy said. There was grime ground into the lines of his palm, and he looked a little self-conscious when he pulled his hand back. “Got a last name to go with that?” Clint asked, rounding the back of the truck, and when he glanced across the truck-bed Bucky was frowning. “Yeah,” he said, the tone of his voice hard to describe. “I got no clue.”
11291988	Five Stages	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Baal (The Wicked + The Divine), Inanna (The Wicked + The Divine)", "Fandom": "The Wicked + The Divine", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by mizzshy", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-24T00:00:00", "words": "586", "Additional Tags": "Grief/Mourning, Heartache", "Relationship": "Baal/Inanna (The Wicked + The Divine)", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": "Pride Month fic challenge", "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Denial It didn't happen. Not to Inanna. Baphomet can't have done it – can't have killed him. Yeah, the Pantheon is weird and fucked up, but they don't kill each other. It's too weird and fucked up, even for them. Even for Baphomet.Baal keeps texting Inanna. Or at least, he keeps writing out the texts, redoing the wording again and again to make sure it's right, but then deletes them and throws his phone aside, only to pick it back up again. At times in the early morning when Baal wakes up or when he can't sleep, when he's somewhere between sleeping and waking, he thinks all he'd have to do is dial Inanna's number and he could hear his voice again. He's got as far as scrolling through his phone to find the contact before waking up enough to remember again and it hurts just as much as always.It didn't happen.Except it did. Anger Baal is good at this part, always has been, and he knows it.He tries to channel his rage into his gigs: none of the fans know about him and Inanna (or at least he assumes all the fanfiction is just them giving themselves self-gratifying fap material) but they eat up the performance, the passionate flashes of lightning and the thrum in his deep voice. They know Inanna is dead, but as far as Baal knows they just think he's sad over a lost friend.The tributes pour in over Twitter, Facebook, Instagram. Fucking Tara writes her fucking song. All of it rings hollow because none of them knew Inanna, not really, and no one seems to care that it wasn't fucking fair. Inanna had the best heart out of any of them and he's gone and no one seems to care about catching the fucker who did it.Baal's bedroom gets trashed. So does Baal. The difference is his bedroom can't pick fights. Bargaining Baal doesn't like talking to anyone about Inanna. He gives his interview for Beth, talks to a camera, and hates every second of it. It's just to get to The Morrigan, simple as that.If he can get to her, he can get to Baphomet. If he can get to Baphomet, he can sort this shit out. If he can sort this shit out, he can do right by Inanna.If he can do right by Inanna, he might be able to sleep at night. He's not going to pretend he can bring him back.But if he can sleep at night, he can see him again in his dreams. Depression Baal spends days staring into the distance. When people talk to him, he responds, and he tries his best to make sense. He knows he needs to keep going, even if he's on autopilot, because he's Baal and he's got shit to do.A big part of him struggles to care though.When Baphomet finds him and passes on Inanna's words, Baal doesn't have time to think about it for long. They're in a fight, they've got to keep going. And then he has to try and stop Laura – Persephone – from going all Michael Bay on Ananke. If he had more energy he might manage it. If Baphomet hadn't just told him what he told him.As it is... fuck it. They'll deal. Acceptance Baal knows it's coming. Knows it will come. He doesn't know when.In the meantime, he's got stuff to deal with. Who said godhood was easy?They were wrong.
11217801	And All Was Well	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Anders (Dragon Age), Fenris (Dragon Age), About a billion kids and grandkids", "Fandom": "Dragon Age II", "Language": "English", "Rating": "General Audiences", "author": "by blueelvewithwings", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-16T00:00:00", "words": "1,752", "Additional Tags": "old!Fenders, grandparents!Fenders, this is some ambiguous timeline where they are all still in Kirkwall decades after the Chantry Boom, also the Blight just kinda isn't a thing idk sue me, they're just old and happy and life is great, floofy floof and fluff it is", "Relationship": "Anders/Fenris", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": "Old Married Couple Fenders", "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	„Fenris.“ Anders smiled and heavily leaned on his cane as he hobbled over to the door, but despite the fact that his knee was hurting and his back was aching he still took his husband‘s coat from him to hang it up and greeted him at the door with a kiss.„How was your day, my love?“Fenris returned his smile and his kiss – in peace for once, with no children about who made little gagging noises and told them they were too old for such things – before walking into the kitchen to prepare tea for both of them.„It was good. I picked up Merrill‘s youngest youngest and brought her home, they don‘t want her to walk that route by herself yet as it‘s still full of bandits sometimes. Some idiot boy was picking on her, I showed him that some grandpas are not to be trifled with.“He was smirking a little, and Anders knew that Fenris still was strong and agile and very fit for his age. He also looked years younger still, unlike Anders who was aging fast – by his own judgement, not Fenris‘.„Good. No one messes with our children.“ Nevermind the fact that they hadn‘t managed to have children of their own (some things even magic couldn‘t do, it seems), they had filled their home with many adopted children, and somehow the children of all their companions and their children had become their family as well. Fenris hadn‘t quite bothered keeping track, but Anders knew that they were the proud grandparents of 34 lovely children, soon to be 35, and he wouldn‘t miss a single one of them for the world.„Hawke came by earlier, he‘s coming over tomorrow with Isabela and the kids. Maybe some grandkids too if they wanna“ he explained and gestured at the oven. „I‘m making cookies for them, you know the kids always love them.“ He slowly made his way over to the oven to peek into it and check on his baked goods.„You really are a grandfather to the bone, you“ he heard his favourite elf say, and then a cane was pressed into his hand and strong, slender arms wound around him. „Can barely walk anymore, but still forgets his cane in order to check on the cookies so the babies will be well fed.“„Don‘t say you were expecting anything else“Anders teased him and leaned back into the arms of the man he loved.„How is your hip today, love? You were out all day, do you need some rest?“ There was a loving chuckle from behind him and then Fenris patted his ass.„You sound like an old man talking to an old man, my fool mage“ he said, but there was only fondness in his voice. „You have a point though, I will go sit down and rest for a while. Will you join me?“Of course Anders did, as soon as he had rescued his cookies from the oven. He brought Fenris his tea and sat next to him with his own mug, reaching out to hold his hand. They really were old men now, but it didn‘t matter. They were happy and they had a big family, and they could give them the love they had never gotten when they were younger. And with a big family like this, every few years one of them would walk one of the children down the aisle and they‘d both spill happy tears as they watched someone they loved be bonded to the companion they had chosen for their life. It was a great life, and better than anything Anders had ever expected for himself. But the biggest wonder of them all still was the elf by his side, that had been there ever since they first kissed, who had never left him and lived up to his promise to spend his life at Anders‘ side.He really was the happiest and luckiest man.The next day found them sitting on the very same sofa, holding hands again, but this time surrounded by noisy grandchildren, slightly less noisy children, Hawke and Isabela and a mess of crumbs all over the floor. Anders swore that the crumbs amassed to more volume than the cookies had originally been, but he‘d seen the kids munch away on them and claiming that „grandpa Anders‘ cookies are the best!!“ so that couldn‘t quite be the case.Luckily Merrill‘s oldest would be coming over the day after to help them clean, since that was one of the things neither Anders or Fenris could still do, much to both their dismay.Anders looked down when a little boy of four climbed into his lap, and he cursed himself as it took a moment for him to remember whether this was Livius or Varric Jr. Damn, he really was getting old.„Hey there, Varr“ he greeted the boy and let go of Fenris‘ hand to wrap his grandson up in his arms. „What are you up to today, huh?“ Little Varric leaned up to whisper something in his ear, and Anders couldn‘t help but smile. He winked at the boy and nodded. „Of course I‘ll show you. You‘ll just have to come over at a time when no one else is here so I can show you all on our own“ he promised and ruffled the boy‘s hair. They all wanted to know his secret cookie recipe at some point, and so far he had shown everyone who had asked a different one. Maybe one day they‘d be having a family celebration, and each of the kids would bake their own favourite of Anders‘ many cookies to remember him… it was a joyful and depressing thought both, and Anders quickly let it go. He didn‘t plan on dying anytime soon, he still had a lot of grandkids to raise.When he looked back up from his little secret conversation, he saw that Fenris was gone from his side, and he was across the room, a wooden sword in his hand, and was facing off against one of their granddaughters. The second to youngest, Anders thought. Or maybe the third? Well, there certainly were nasty parts to getting older…It was clear that the girl would win, and they all cheered when she heroically wrenched the sword from Fenris, who yielded immediately and rewarded her win with a big hug and kisses to her cheeks until she squealed.How much things had changed… Fenris had been so shy at first, so closed off, never one to let someone touch him, nevermind be affectionate. And now he freely gave his love to their family, let them all into his big heart and kept them there. But he also had a reputation to uphold, and everytime one of their children – and now also the first of their grandchildren – brought someone home to them, the newly presented partner was in for a severe grilling on their intentions with Fenris‘ beloved child. He wouldn‘t let anyone hurt his babies, and the times that it still happened he made sure that they severely regretted their actions.Anders thought that he was the most badass grandfather. And father. And husband. Anders was the grandpa who stayed at home and baked cookies and always had bandaids and kisses and a tissue to wipe snotty noses, and Fenris was the grandpa who went and picked the kids up wherever they needed it, at whatever time of the night or day, and who went and beat people‘s asses if someone of their family got hurt.They were the perfect pair, really. Anders loved it. He couldn‘t remember a time where he had been happier. Even with his body aching everywhere and his brain failing to give him information as needed, and with his magic not being what it once was, their house was so full of love and life and happiness and everything he had ever wanted, he couldn‘t bring himself to be sad about it at all.The only thing that still stung was that Karl had never been able to see this. Their first son was named Karl, however, and he had turned out to be a mage with a big heart and a calm demeanour, just like Anders‘ Karl had been, and they sometimes jokingly said that maybe a part of Karl‘s soul lived on in him. That was a bit of a comfort. And to know that the kids had it better, that Circles were a thing of the past and they could learn and live as they pleased, with teachers and guardians who respected them and taught them the good sides and the perils of magic and who helped them learn to control their gift and how to navigate the path of power and temptation. He had only recently spoken to Aveline about how in all the years after the Chantry explosion counted together there hadn‘t been as many abomination accidents as in the last year before, when Meredith was still around.That made him proud, somehow.He never thought he‘d live to see that day that mages were free, but instead he lived to see the day that a little boy saw his back and asked about the scars there, and when Anders replied that he had gotten them in the Circle, his darling mage grandson had looked at him with big eyes and asked him „what is a Si-kle, grampa?“Anders had never felt more accomplished than that.He had it all, a loving family, the most gorgeous husband, his freedom, and a reputation as the best healer around, even though people had to come by his house now if they wanted to be healed by him specifically. The clinic had long since been taken over by two of his children, and Anders‘ old bones didn‘t even allow him to go down to Darktown anymore. Or at least the area that had been Darktown. Viscount Varric had been good for Kirkwall, and the slums had been passé for a few decades by now.He had it all, and in hindsight he wasn‘t even sure if he would change a single thing about his life, since it had all lead him to this point of supreme happiness.No, he decided in the end. He wouldn‘t change a thing. Fate had been kind to him in the end, and that was what mattered.Maybe the long road towards happiness had only made him more happy in the end.
11221419	Bend Over YouTuber	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": null, "Characters": "Markiplier, Mark Fischbach, Reader, You", "Fandom": null, "Language": "English", "Rating": "Explicit", "author": "by GiveMeGoromi", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-17T00:00:00", "words": "4,547", "Additional Tags": "Smut, Pegging, Reader-Insert, reader- freeform, Strap-On, Strapping On, Established Relationship, Anal Sex, Anal Play, Sexual Experimentation, Safe Sane and Consensual, safe sex, Sex Toys, Shameful Trash, Gratuitous Reader Insert", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "Markiplier/Reader, Markiplier/You", "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": "markiplier - Fandom, youtube-Fandom, Markiplier- Fandom", "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": "F/M, Other", "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	“No, it’s absolutely nothing like it is in porn!” you find yourself hollering toward the open bathroom door with your face still buried in the instructional pamphlet. Your boyfriend Mark appears in the doorway wearing only pajama pants, his hair a wild floofy mess. “Thank god,” he replies and goes back to brushing his teeth. “It says in here that while women have g-spots, men have ‘p-spots’,” you inform him with a chuckle.“’P-spots’? You mean like prostates?” Mark asks with a mouth full of toothpaste.He winks at you before disappearing again into the bathroom.“Yeah, exactly like that,” you laugh.Mark comes out to join you by belly flopping onto the bed. He rolls over onto his back smelling minty fresh.“You still wanna try it?” you ask putting down the paper and pulling his head into your lap.He looks up at you with a conniving smirk.“I dunno. Do you?” he asks, deflecting.“I asked you first,” you reply squishing his handsome face with the palms of your hands.You can feel his low chuckle reverberate through your thighs. Staring down into his dark brown eyes, your fingers slowly caress his scruffy cheeks. He hasn’t shaved in like three weeks. You don’t really mind. His current laughter is of the nervous variety, you know him well enough to tell. You lean down to kiss him a couple times.“Kinda,” he eventually admits, looking slightly love drunk as he gazes back up at you.Your excitement easily churns to the surface. “I’m glad!” you cry as you reach over the side of the bed to retrieve an opaque black plastic shopping bag. You toss it onto his chest.“Ooph,” he braces for its unknown weight and manages to catch it easily.Mark sits up, making himself comfortable cross-legged on the bed. You leave your pillow nest to join him. He dumps the bag’s contents onto the comforter unceremoniously. You watch as he sorts through his spoils.“You got me choices?” Mark asks with a mix of disbelief and amusement as he holds up two different phallic shaped attachments for the harness, one markedly lifelike and the other a shiny purple color, much smaller, and smoother.“Hell yeah, I did! You deserve options,” you reply, “Besides, isn’t that part of the fun?”Mark’s weighing out those options now as he looks over each one. “I wonder which one looks better,” he muses as he sort of holds them up to you.You hadn’t realized how aesthetically oriented he could be until recently.“Well, do you want me to have a real penis or an alien penis?” you ask, making the choice a little simpler.He responds by throwing the harness at you expectantly.“Really?” you ask.“Why not?” is his snarky reply.You get up on your knees and strap the harness on. Mark is watching you as you secure it around each thigh then around your waist, adjusting the straps just so. The black leather feels pretty comfortable against your skin. You put your hands on your hips and dramatically jut them forward. “Take your pick, sir.”A faint pink tinge comes over Mark’s cheeks. He’s still trying to decide which attachment he wants but now can’t tear his eyes away from you wearing the leather strap-on harness. He looks like he could start salivating at any moment.“Aren’t you not supposed to wear underwear with that?” he asks curiously.You look down at yourself considering this question. “I don’t think it matters either way.”Mark’s lips curl into a wolfish smile. “Well, if it doesn’t matter either way, then take them off.”You carefully get off the bed and undo the harness, stripping off your panties before putting it back on. Mark still has a silicone penis in each hand.“Have you picked yet?” you ask with mock exasperation.Mark hesitates, then sheepishly holds up the realistic looking one. “You look inordinately pleased about this,” he accuses.And it’s true. You’re quite glad that he picked the more realistic dildo. The visuals of an activity like this are half the fun and this will make them even more to your liking.“I just like that one better,” you finally admit, “It looks like a real cock… and it’s bigger.”Mark’s eyes go wide and he starts to laugh, “I didn’t realize size was so important to you.”You shove at him in play, maybe just a little embarrassed by this admission, which prompts him to tackle you back onto the bed. He falls in such a way that your bodies brush together, him settling between your legs. You can feel the warmth of his hardening cock through his pajama pants against your inner thigh. Instinctively you roll your hips up against him.“But no, if I were in your position I would’ve picked that one too. It’s gonna feel better, trust me,” you inform him as you nuzzle his face.You run your fingers through his hair, making it even messier, as his hands pull at your flimsy tank top. You playfully resist him for a moment until he takes you by surprise pushing himself against you so the empty harness you’re wearing presses up pleasantly against your clit.“Oh,” your eyes widen as your body tenses.Mark’s rumbling little chuckle reverberates through his chest into yours. You go ahead and take the initiative to pull off the rest of your own clothes before hooking your thumbs into the waistband of Mark’s pajama pants. You shimmy them off his body, using your feet to kick them down the rest of the way when your short arms can no longer reach.“Much better,” Mark coos in your ear, which makes you giggle.You can feel his hands all over your soft skin as his lips make their way across your chest and up your neck. The tickling from his facial hair makes you squirm and further rut against his now naked body. You feel him shudder.“This is going to be fun,” you say before pressing your lips to his again with your arms draped around his neck.You let your fingernails graze over his shoulder blades. He holds you tighter in response, releasing a tiny moan into your mouth. Finally he pulls back just a little to look at your face. His eyes are scanning your features. His smile is so loving.“Well?” he asks, eyes glancing over to where he’s abandoned the silicone appendages on the other side of the bed.As soon as you nod in affirmation Mark is reaching over to grab the flesh-colored faux phallus. You’re both giggling like little kids as he helps you get it attached to the leather harness around your hips. Once it’s in place you can’t help yourself, you shake your hips making your newly acquired member bounce around. Mark is close to laughing himself into a fit.“So? What do you think?” you ask making your sexiest face.“Actually,” Mark replies getting a grip on his giggles, “Not gonna lie, it’s pretty hot.”You feel your face and chest flush with warmth when you recognize that hunger in his dark eyes. He really does like it. You watch as he pushes the hair out of his face and bites his lip a little, eyes looking you over head to toe.“Alright, big boy, lay down,” you order as you hop up from the bed.Even you’re amused right now at how the strap-on bobs and wiggles as you move. You retrieve the water-based lotion and lubricant from the pile of toys at the foot of the bed and put them within reach on the pillow. Mark is busy trying to situate himself laying down on the bed on his belly, his arousal making it tricky. His giggles of nervous anticipation increase as you climb onto him, sitting on the backs of thighs.“C’mon, Mark. You’ve gotta relax,” you coax.You can see the tension in the muscles twitching under his tan skin. His body is so nicely sculpted that you could just appreciate him like a work of art. He grunts in response so you get to work massaging his lower back. He slowly relaxes and you can feel his breathing slowing down. The lotion you’re using is a nice neutral scent which covers up the plastic smell of the new sex toys in the room.Pouring a little more lotion onto your hands, you move down to caress the muscles of Mark’s perfectly pert ass. With fingers circling around the outside of both sides almost at his hips you work your way inward concentrically. His ever increasing groans tell you that you’re on the right track.“Any better?” you ask softly, not wanting to spoil the mood.“Mhmm,” Mark nods, eyes closed, face smiling on the flowery pillowcase.As your kneading fingers work out the tension in those oft ignored muscles, you start using your thumbs to spread his cheeks apart, just gently at first, then with a little more enthusiasm. In response Mark wiggles his backside, tilting his hips slightly to give you a better angle. At that point you switch from lotion to the nice thick water-based lube you invested in just for this event. Continuing to massage your boyfriend’s amazing ass, you start to let your fingers slide down the center cleft, grazing over his tight hole. You feel him tense right up.“We’ve done this part before. Don’t be so nervous,” you chastise.“Yeah, I know,” Mark replies, voice sounding slightly strained already, “But we only did what? Like a couple of fingers, right?”“Yeah, I think we got up to two fingers last time. Don’t worry. I know how to take my time,” you reassure him, “And if you need me to stop or slow down just tell me.”You lean forward pressing a kiss to his back in a show of affection and sweetness. Mark takes a deep breath letting himself melt back into the mattress. Getting a little more lube on your fingertips, you begin to tease him, delicately rubbing and pressing ever so slightly against that puckered pinkish ring of flesh. As you dip in a little more with each pass you notice Mark’s hips starting to slide against the bedspread.“Feels good, huh?” you ask, checking in.Mark nods, cheeks pinking in arousal or embarrassment or maybe both. Paying close attention to his body you push that single finger inside his tight warmth. You pause giving him a moment to get used to the feeling. After one more check in you gently start moving. You see him shiver and his facial tension begins to soften. You’re trying so hard to read him, his face and his body. You just want this to be good for him. He’s been looking forward to it for a while.Once he’s obviously comfortable with a single digit inside him, you let him know what’s coming next before gently pushing a second fingertip in. Mark’s trying hard to relax. With every exhalation you can feel his body releasing tension. You realize that maybe part of the appeal of this activity to your, at times high-strung, boyfriend is that it gives him an outlet, it’s a chance to let go. Two fingers seem to be easier than one strangely enough.“You’re all warmed up for me,” you coo softly.“Mmm,” Mark looks blissed out with his face smashed into the pillow.A little more slow movement and now you’re fully thrusting, albeit delicately, those two fingers in and out of your prone boyfriend’s beautiful ass. He’s actually moving in such a way that he’s bucking his hips to meet your strokes.“So this is where we stopped last time,” you inform him before progressing any further.“Really?” Mark asks opening his eyes just a little, “Huh. Doesn’t feel that big.”“Well I imagine that’s good ‘cause I think you probably want me to stretch you a little bit more before we take it to the next step,” you reply.“I can help,” Mark interjects as he reaches back with both hands spreading himself for you.It’s quite a pretty sight, all those muscles in his arms and back defined by his anticipatory tension. The easier access he provides helps you to go a little deeper with each push and before you can ask him about a third finger, his own fingers are already stretching down to help you. It’s an effort to keep from making your own noises of arousal as you watch him trying so desperately to push a couple of his own fingertips in alongside yours.“Take it slow, sweetie,” you suggest gently when you see the look of discomfort on his face, “You’ve gotta be patient.”“I’m. Not. Patient,” he grunts in response.With a little more lube and a lot more hard-wrought patience, Mark is finally able to slide one of his own fingers inside of himself along with yours. You try to find a rhythm together. This unspoken physical communication is your favorite part. Mark can’t reach very deeply because of the angle of his hand, but when you manage to push in and up just a little more forcefully you feel and see his entire body jump.“Oh my god!” he cries, body clenching down on you.“That’s the sweet spot,” you giggle, pleased with yourself for finding it so quickly.“It’s the something spot,” Mark gasps, body still reeling from that slight brush against his prostate.“You think you’re ready?” you ask, fully prepared for him to say yes or no.“Hell yeah, I’m ready,” is his immediate reply.You withdraw your fingers from his body, which again makes him jump a little, and you use your well-placed towel to clean you both up. Unfortunately, you’ve forgotten something pretty important so you have to get up and walk across the room to grab a condom. You roll the prophylactic on the silicone penis that you almost forgot you were wearing. But really, by now it almost feels like it’s always been there.“What are you doing?” Mark asks as he tries to get onto his hands and knees, legs and arms trembling just slightly.“Keeping things clean,” you reply.Returning to him you take a moment to ruffle his hair and run your hands up and down his back. He’s almost purring when you lean in to kiss his shoulder and neck. Mark responds by leaning against you. You start to move pillows underneath him and in front of him.“Oh no. I’ll be fine,” he says waving away your bit of positioning prep.“No, trust me. You’ll want these,” you reply as you help put pillows in place to prop Mark’s elbows and chest, “I can tell you from experience.”Mark responds almost instantly when he feels you climbing back onto the bed behind him. He spreads his thighs just a little wider, his cock hanging heavy and hard pointed toward the top of the mattress. You start just by touching him again, letting him get used to the feeling of your hands and fingers all over, and let’s be honest, you’ll take any opportunity to touch his gorgeous body. At first you just let the firm attachment to your strap-on rest against his ass. Slowly you start moving so he can feel it brush along his skin.“Well?” he asks still staring forward into the pillows, “Are you gonna do it?”He sounds nervous.“I will. I will,” you reassure him, “I’m just letting you get comfortable.”Mark then pushes back a little against you encouragingly.“You slut,” you giggle, which makes him start giggling again.The condom on the strap-on has a little bit of lube on it already but you go ahead and put on quite a bit more. Not knowing what to do about your now slimy lube fingers you go ahead and wipe them on Mark’s ass cheek, making him gripe once more.“Shut up and relax,” you say.“Oh shit. Yes, ma’am,” Mark replies.While gently caressing his lower back, you hold your fake appendage with your other hand, pressing the tip against him.“Weird,” he remarks, “Feels different.”“Feels okay?” you check in.“I suppose.”You’re not even inside him yet. You carefully nudge the cock head against him until you feel him relax. The first little bit slips inside and Mark’s head snaps up, his stomach muscles tensing.“OH.”You push just a little more and Mark’s arms are already getting shaky. He’s gripping the pillows now. When he lets out a little groan you continue. That first little bit is always the hardest (no pun intended) and you would normally stop if you didn’t already know that sweating and swearing was what Mark did during sex when he was enjoying himself. Once the entire head of the strap-on cock is seated inside your boyfriend’s amazing ass, you take a break to allow him to adjust.“You okay?” you ask, not realizing how your own voice is starting to quake and betray how turned-on this is making you.Mark nods, breathing choppy at times. He’s focused right now. He groans again in mild discomfort.Kneeling there behind him you place your hands on him, curling your fingers around his hips. Staring down you get to take in the sight of him all stretched out around you. Moving your hips just infinitesimally you can feel how incredibly tight he is, which makes your heart thump a little harder in your chest. No wonder guys like this position. You feel so in control.“It’s so different,” Mark finally manages.You can tell from his voice that he’s starting to get adjusted to the girth, which is definitely larger than your three fingers together were earlier. His back arches reminiscent of a stretching cat, making him ride back and unintentionally pushing you inside just a little bit deeper.“Oh fuck,” he drawls, voice constrained and tight.Your fingers dig a little more into his hips in response. You start just like that, small and careful undulations of your hips, only going faster or deeper when he seems completely at ease. At one point he puts a hand up signaling for you to stop.“Too much?” you pant, suddenly realizing that you’ve started sweating too.“Just… Give me sec…” Mark gasps.He doesn’t sound like he’s in pain, just overwhelmed. This role takes a lot of work, but damn it’s worth it. The visuals are just magnificent and the sounds Mark is making… Well, you’re definitely going to be storing this in the memory bank for future use.“Are you gonna say dirty things?” you ask.“I dunno. Why? You want me to?” Mark replies glancing back at you over his shoulder.His grin and his sweet dark eyes behind the sweat-soaked wisps of red hair make you swoon a little. This is the best part, the connection.“Maybe,” you confess.Mark tilts his head a little in thought. He’s no doubt trying to think of the things that you usually say when he’s plowing you. While you have him deep in thought, you run your hands down the sides of his strong thighs before moving back up and leaning forward just a little to reach around and grasp his rock hard cock in your hand.“Oh my god,” he groans as he pitches forward just slightly into the bolster of pillows you made for him earlier.“I told you you’d need it,” you tease as you stroke him slowly.His hips start moving, rocking himself between sliding into your hand and impaling himself on your cock. You get a good look at his face which is pressed against the pillow. His mouth is hanging open and his eyes are closed.“More,” he moans, “More.”It’s only one word but it makes you shiver. Releasing his cock you find your grip again on his hips, your thumbs pulling on his flesh to ease his cheeks apart as you thrust into him again and again. And it really feels like you’re fucking him, the way the harness pulls and presses against your sex, the way the realistic looking cock slides in and out of his surrendering body.“Please… fuck me…” he coos in a breathy voice.And you feel your muscles clenching in response, your own juices of arousal dripping onto your thighs. Those are words you never thought you’d hear in a voice so desperate and pleading from your usually well-composed boyfriend. It’s far more provocative than you ever imagined and makes you press deeper searching for your own friction and sensation. It’s starting to feel like it’s your own body plunging into him over and over again. Mark lets out a choked cry and glances back at you again, pupils dilated, he grabs one of your wrists almost aggressively to get your attention as you’re just lost in the moment.“Deeper,” he whispers when he meets your eyes and you can tell something has changed. His twinges of discomfort are long gone and with every press of that silicone cock into his willing body is a momentary shiver, his eyes rolling back in pure bliss.You remember the pamphlet from earlier.“If you want it deeper, lay down on your back,” you tell him as you slide your hips back, pulling yourself free of his body.Mark lets out a needy groan and falls over to the side on the bed as your get in a quick spank to his well-fucked ass. Adjusting positions, you climb off the bed and once he’s fully supine you grab his legs pulling him to the very edge of the mattress. Taking position between his legs you lean down to kiss him, it forces him to widen and pull back his legs.“You sure you’re still okay?” you ask as you run your fingers through Mark’s hair, giving it a couple tiny tugs.“Yeah, absolutely,” he breathes, his chest and neck still flushed red.You search his eyes for a moment to make sure he’s telling the truth and not just saying what he knows you want to hear. And he looks happy. In fact, he looks almost ecstatic. He’s riding on a lust and adrenaline high that you’ve seen before. He’s definitely doing just fine.“Ready?” you ask teasingly rubbing your strap-on cock against his own.In response, Mark grabs his legs by the backs of his thighs, spreading more for you. You hold in your chuckles at this wanton gesture and after the application of a little more lube, you press the head of your cock against him once more.This position though is different and Mark can feel that right away. His half-lidded eyes go wide, pupils blown out black. His teeth press into his lip as he tries to concentrate and relax. Before you know it you’re bracing yourself on the bed and moving inside him again. Mark is gripping your forearms for dear life. Every squeak and gasp makes you want to thrust faster and harder. In this position you can see it, you can see the full body quakes running through him every time you bottom out, going as deep as his body will let you go.You feel the sweat rolling down your back, but there’s no way you’re stopping now. You almost feel like you could get pushed over the edge just watching how Mark’s cock twitches and leaks, leaving precum all over his belly. He’s a moaning, tensing mess.The air in the room is warm and thick. You’re completely caught up in this and devoted to trying to find that perfect angle with your hips as you pound the crap out your beloved boyfriend. Suddenly Mark’s fingernails bite into your skin even harder, making you whine in frustration.“Don’t. Stop.” he rasps, words punctuated by your hammering hips.A few more strokes of your thick silicone cock and his entire body is rigid and tense, so tight this time that you can barely move. His mouth is open like he’s trying to scream. You manage one last thrust to get just a little deeper, to make sure you’re seated on that perfect spot. Mark cries out loudly, keeping you close as his body rocks with pleasure. It runs through him making his cock pulse until he cums in almost a spray, splashing his torso as well as the bedsheets. You’re filled with a sense of immediate pride and contentment, more than sure that he just had a full body orgasm.You hear ragged breathing and realize it’s coming from your own throat. You feel like your heart is pounding a thousand beats per minute. The space between your two hot bodies is small but you wish you could make it non-existent. When it seems like he’s come down a little from his neurochemical orgasmic high you gently try to extricate yourself from his grasp.“Mark,” you whisper, petting his face as you make sure you don’t hurt him on the withdrawal, “You okay? Was that okay?”Your knees nearly buckle from the physical exertion just as you climb on the bed beside him, crashing onto the cool sheets. Reaching blindly, you manage to find the towel but decide it’s too much work. You’ll just throw you both in the shower in a few minutes.“That was…” Mark croaks, trying to find his voice though his throat is dry, “That was incredible… But I don’t think I can do it again for quite a while.”He turns to look at you, staring into your eyes. There’s a hint of apology and a whole lot of gratitude. He reaches for your hand, his own palm sweaty against yours. He lifts your hand to his face and kisses it softly.“Yeah, that was more work than I expected,” you admit, “But my god, that was hot!”Mark’s giggles are infectious. You roll against his side, cuddling up against him and he readjusts to get a warm sweaty arm around you.“Are you okay?” Mark asks after a minute or two.You shift your hips making the strap-on cock rub against his thigh. “I’m fabulous,” you reply.“Had fun, huh?” Mark asks with a knowing smile.You nod happily, shining with obvious afterglow despite not getting off. And you don’t really feel like you need to at this point. You feel pretty satisfied… for the time being.Noticing Mark’s dark eyes starting to get heavy and his breath going shallow you lean down to kiss his face, “Don’t fall asleep on me yet. Go grab a shower.”He blearily focuses back on you and smiles, “In a few minutes.”You eventually give up and let him drift off comfortably. In the bathroom, only a few paces away you unlatch your faux appendage and leave it in the sink to be washed. You turn on the shower and it steams up the room quickly.“Mark… Mark!” you call for him before getting in.When you don’t get a reply you peer out of the bathroom door. There’s your sweet boyfriend, fast asleep, worn out, all curled up on your bed. You hop in the shower feeling delighted and accomplished.You’ll let him rest for now.
11281425	fluffy gay charmed	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": null, "Characters": "Chris Halliwell, Piper Halliwell, Leo Wyatt, Phoebe Halliwell, Paige Matthews, Wyatt Halliwell, Original Male Character(s)", "Fandom": "Charmed (TV)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "General Audiences", "author": "by inbeautifulwriter", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-23T00:00:00", "words": "872", "Additional Tags": "Pansexual Character, Bisexual Character, Pan!Chris, bi!phoebe, Fluff, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, One Shot, Pride 2017, Pride, pride month, Gay Pride, Coming Out", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "Chris Halliwell/Original Male Character(s), Bianca/Chris Halliwell, Piper Halliwell & Chris Halliwell, Leo Wyatt & Chris Halliwell", "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": "F/M, M/M", "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Chris was sad one day as he sat in the attic; he had a secret he'd been holding in. Well, he'd been holding in a lot but now most we’re out in the open. His family knew they were his family. They knew why he was back to protect Wyatt. But there was a secret he wanted to tell his mother so bad. He hadn’t been able to tell his mum in his timeline. She had died and she never knew all the truth about her son. Chris sighed. He was pansexual. He had loved girls and guys. Bianca had been the second person he had been in a relationship with. In high school, he had dated a boy name, Thomas. He had broken Chris’s heart when he became aligned with Wyatt. His grandfather had been open and loving. His parents had never known. But he vowed now that he had the opportunity and would come out. Chris walked into the living room to see his mother and two aunts talking about something while his little/big brother was playing with some toys. He took in a deep breath and quickly said “mum I'm pansexual” then turned and quickly walked out. Somehow he felt like a kid in that moment. Lost and banking on the love of his mother. He slid down with his back to the hall wall and his head was in his hands. After a few minutes, Piper came walking into the hallway. She sat down next to her grown son, he looked more scared than when he was facing terrifying demons. And she knew why losing the love of a family was worse than death to Halliwell's. “Chris I love you, all of you. I accept you and want to know all of you.” She said holding his hand. “I always wanted you to know but you died right when I found out. I've held this in for years,” he said angrily but the anger faded and a tear dripped down his face. He wiped it away defiantly. He would not cry. “Chris, we all love you.I'm sorry, you had to hold this in, I'm sorry you felt you couldn’t tell me when I learned you were my son.” They sat in silence for a while after that. Chris was happy but burnt out. Piper felt guilty that her son had ever had to hide who he was. A few days passed slowly built up tension that had plagued his heart faded. He walked into the house one day and saw a rainbow flag and a pan flag hanging from the ceiling in the dining room. A cake with rainbow sprinkles was on the table. Phoebe and Paige came into the room ad held him in a crushing hug. “This is your coming out party," Paige said. "We threw one in college for one of my friends.” The Halliwell family enjoyed their gay cake with gusto. There was only one thing still hanging in the air, telling Leo. Leo had never known in the future. He had never noticed that Chris was dating Thomas, he hadn’t cared to notice. Plus Leo was from the 40′s; gay wasn’t really allowed in the forties, nonetheless pan people. His mum never pushed for it, she hadn’t said a word. She hadn’t invited Leo to the party either. A few days later Phoebe pulled him aside and looked into his eyes with all the Phoebe ferocity she could manage. “Chris I'm bi” “Really?” “Yes, I was scared to tell anyone but now I know they'll love me. Thank you, for being you, you allow me to be me.” Phoebe gathered the family in the room and came out. There were smiles and laughter, Chris felt his heart melt with the love and acceptance. He felt truly connected to his aunts and his mother. For the first time in a long time, he felt whole. So a few days later Phoebe was surprised with a bi flag and another delicious Piper made a cake. The family was riding the waves of love for weeks. Then, of course, their was demons, Phoebe's failing love life and the imminent threat to Wyatt. One day Leo came down to help the sisters when he and Chris landed face to face. He looked at his son and somehow there was confusion in his eyes. “You look happy?” Leo said. “Yeah, dad I am happy.” “Why?” “Because my mother loves me.” “I love you.” “Really?” “Yeah I do, you're my son.” “Would you love me if I was gay?” “Where is this coming from?” “Answer my question.” “Yeah, I lived through the 60s and 80s. I've been a hippy. I am supposed to love people I’m a whitelighter.’ “Good cause I'm pansexual.” “Okay.” “Maybe you love me now. That can help with the past.” “Maybe it will.” Leo turned and left to go warn them about an impending evil. But at that moment Chris wanted to think about nothing to do with evil monsters. He had a conversation with his father that didn’t break his heart, that was so crazy but good crazy. Chris finally felt like he belonged in his family, and it was wonderful.
11292396	Embers of a Dying Flame	{ "Archive Warning": "Graphic Depictions Of Violence", "Category": null, "Characters": "Scott McCall, Original Child Character(s), Alana Stilinski (OC), Isaac Lahey", "Fandom": "Teen Wolf (TV)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Mature", "author": "by Undoomsday", "chapters": "1/?", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-24T00:00:00", "words": "2,329", "Additional Tags": "Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Single Parent Stiles Stilinski, Asshole Derek, Tattooed Stiles Stilinski, My First Fanfic, Tags Are Hard, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Please suggest better titles too, Tattooed Scott McCall, BAMF Stiles, Tattooed Jackson", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Vernon Boyd/Erica Reyes, Lydia Martin/Jackson Whittemore", "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": "F/M, M/M", "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	The sounds of tired feet grinding of asphalt could have been heard if there was a single soul in sight to hear them."Daddy! I'm scared and tired," whimpered Alana, Stiles’ 7 year old daughter. They had been walking down an expressway filled with broken down cars and could see the deserted city of Chicago far in front of them. Their car had given out from under their feet some 4 hours ago and had been on foot since that time, desperate to reach the windy city. It had been hard for them to leave Roscoe, however, lack of any refuge nearby had made the decision fairly easy."I know baby. It's just…” Stiles knelt and cupped his daughter’s face in his hands. “We've got to find shelter soon. It's already dark and you know how important it is to find shelter, right? You don't want what happened to happen to us." Stiles kept a hand over her heart, trying to console himself more than her, cringing inwardly as he remembered the incident."Uh huh." she said, still feeling very apprehensive.Suddenly they heard the rustling of leaves coming from their right. Stiles immediately put Alana behind him and took his gun out, his hands shaking, but his eyes steely and face determined to save his daughter from any harm.'Please be a ferret. A squirrel. A dog, cat, mouse, rabbit.'Stiles’ throat closed up as his hands felt clammy. He stood silently, praying. His prayers went unanswered as two dark figures appeared from behind the bushes. Filthy and shabby looking, both of the two had disfigured jaws and tattered clothes. Grunting and growling, they leaped over the curb and limped towards them.Getting a clear shot, Stiles started shooting. He fired three shots in the torso of one and another two in the leg and shoulder of the other, in an attempt to immobilize them. However, they still kept on moving. To top it off, the shots alerted two others who revealed themselves from behind the barriers. These looked like they were females before their 'turn,' but any and all appeal that they would've had as women was lost. They were now pale skinned, bloody- faced, bruised and battered, ugly looking mongrels.Alana shrieked in horror as she saw the other two zombies rise. Stiles quickly fired the rest of his shots, emptying his magazine. Nothing happened.Alana clamped her hands around her father’s left leg, burrowing her head in the thigh."Don't worry sweety, daddy won't let anything happen to you." replied Stiles, taking out his trustworthy but still outmatched baseball bat, ready to fight a hand to hand combat with all four of the bloodthirsty hooligans in front of them, adamant on getting his daughter to safety, even if he had to die for it to happen.“Come on!” he shouted. He could feel his eyes getting watery. Not like this. Please. Anything but this.All of a sudden, they heard a car's honking. And then Stiles and Alana saw headlights.A car, no, an SUV, a Hummer no less, was throttling towards them at breakneck speed.Stiles picked his daughter up and dived on the other side of the road just before it rammed into three of the monsters, killing them, or rather, incapacitating them permanently.The fourth started moving towards the car, and before it reached it, a figure rose out from the driver's side and fired a shot from his shotgun, blasting the attacker's head off."Bastard," He breathed.The man had a soft voice, and from what he could see in the dark, a heavy frame. Stiles frisked his jeans before taking out his flashlight, shining in right in the other guy’s face.Damn.The man grunted in annoyance at the harsh light and grabbed the torch from his hands but Stiles had managed to catch a glimpse of his face. His handsome, chiseled, frowning face. He had a stubble and bits of scruff that highlighted his ruggedness very very nicely."You okay?" he asked, and boy, Stiles hadn’t expected that voice, soft but luscious, and opened his mouth to answer, but before he could, seven other people scrambled out of the Hummer.They crowded around the two people, and both Stiles and Alana instantly felt a little overwhelmed, which made them take a step back quickly.A woman waved a hand in front of his face to catch his attention, “You alright.”"Dandy" Stiles breathed out. “I mean as dandy as you can be after fending off 4 despicable things. I guess I didn’t fend them of, but I did shoot at them and then you guys fended the crap out of them. I guess I am just dandy because my daughter and I are safe. So, who’re you guys exactly?”"You sure like to talk a lot. My name's Jennifer Blake. Call me Jenny." The kind-hearted woman said, sticking her hand out. Nope, she didn't look like a Jenny. Jennifer it is then."I'm Stiles, and this is my daughter Alana." Stiles said, returning the handshake and gesturing towards Alana, who was still hiding behind Stiles."Well hello there, Alana. My name's Jackson Whittemore." said a guy coming forth from the group. He continued, putting a hand out, "Would you like to be friends with me?"Alana gazed at his arms for a moment before replying, "You have drawings on your arms like my Daddy, but yours are more colorful."The rest of the group cooed softly and took this as an invitation to come forward and kneel down so that they could all console a visibly still shaken Alana, except the guy who had killed all the different stone-faced creatures, who had fetched a mean looking axe from the vehicle.Thinking Alana was safe with the group, Stiles walked to the man and held his hand out, "Thank you so much for saving me, I'm Stiles, by the way,"The man did not take the hand as he proceeded to bring the axe down on the bodies of the corpses.Making sure the dead stay dead."It's fine, just put your shit in the boot of the jeep so we can get going."Stiles was taken aback by the way he was shrugged off. "I didn't get your name." He called out to the man who was already retreating to the driver's seat, bloodied axe in hand."Derek Hale" the man said, giving him a piercing glare with his bluish-green eyes. He turned again and wiped his hands on a cloth before getting inside the truck. 'That was one of the most unique ways of saying fuck you I’ve ever seen.'Although puzzled by his anti- social behavior, Stiles quickly got back to the group where he saw Alana, now giggling in the middle. It was her first real smile in weeks. It made his heart cry and do somersaults at the same time."Daddy, look! Isaac's hair is curly too! But it isn't frizzy like grandma's hair, it's a different curly! Like, more woven. Grandma’s hair were like a mat." chirped Alana gleefully. Rambling was one of the most noticeable things she’d inherited from her father.The man in question stepped forward along with the entire group."Okay, so, I'm Isaac and you've met Jennifer and Jackson, that's Lydia," a girl with a beautiful smile and strawberry blonde hair stepped forward, "Boyd," a heavily built bald man stepped forward, "Erica," a woman with thick blonde hair and a devious smile stepped forward, "and lastly, Scott." A handsome young man with a lean built stepped forward.Scott offered him a smile and a reassuring, cute look. Lord, those eyes seemed so innocent. Seemed being the keyword.'Nobody’s innocent in this land. I bet they’ve killed hundreds and stolen their food. They just don’t want a child’s death on their hands.'"I don't mean to be rude, except that I do, but why the bloody hell were you wandering in the middle of the road at this time after dusk, specially with a kid that size next to you?" Erica said in a deeply annoyed tone."It wasn't by choice. Our car broke down and we had to find shelter in someplace. I wanted to reach Chicago so that we could find a place to sleep and maybe food and water." Stiles replied."So you've been walking on this road for hours?" Lydia asked, in a curious chiding tone. Stiles nodded once, cowering under her scrutinizing gaze."And this little one hasn't had anything to eat, has she?" said Jennifer, kneeling down in front of Alana, putting a hand under the chin so she looked at her.Alana gingerly shook her head. Jennifer then spoke, "Alright, we'll fix you something to eat once we get you guys settled in the car, if you can call it that.""So, wait a minute, a handgun and a baseball bat was all you had, and you made it until here? That's amazing, man," complimented Scott, who was standing behind Erica. It was really hard not to develop an instant liking to that guy."Yeah, actually I thought the sub-machine gun that was in my car and the ammo would be too heavy for me to carry, seeing that I would have needed to carry Alana on my back when she was tired, except she didn’t get tired. Well, she did, she’s extremely tired now, but she wasn’t exhausted which was nice because we were able to cover a nice distance. However, now that I think about it, it was probably an immature and irresponsible decision to make." Stiles felt ashamed to admit that, looking down disapprovingly at his lanky frame.He felt Alana tugging at his jeans, so he knelt down in front of the little girl.“You’re not irreponsible daddy. You’re a very good daddy.” She said, hugging him.Tears welled up in his eyes as Alana stepped back and wiped them off with her palms. "Not irreponsible sweetheart, irresponsible. He continued, mumbling "And then, as we reached here, the zombies attacked us.""Bastards…" Erica mumbled."Excuse me?" He squeaked, covering his daughter’s ears. She’s heard worse from his mouth, but that didn’t mean he wanted his daughter learning another word. "That's what we call them. It's a more fitting name, you see." Lydia spoke. “The parent hosts’ never marry. We never use that other word. It’s almost taboo.”"And we're all skilled at blowing their minds, literally, of course," Scott spoke with a smug look on his face.'Admission of murder.'"Let's get these guys settled in the Hummer, shall we?" Jackson said, feeling jumpy. He wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. Even with ammo, he didn't want to just stand in the middle of nowhere, begging to be a nice tasty snack for the next corpse appearing."Just the one bag, Stiles?" Isaac asked."Yeah, umm… Thanks, Isaac" Stiles replied.The gang suddenly heard honking from the car."Oooh, Der-bear is getting agitated. Fine, let's get you settled, Lydia, you take the backseat along with Scott, Stiles and Alana. Jennifer, Erica, Boyd, take the middle. I'll ride with the lion out fron…" Jackson was interrupted by the honking of the car again. "Jeez! Come on in, before he attracts half the zombies in the area!" Jackson said with a smile.It was then Stiles noticed that there had been no talk about the man except the previous comment. Everyone was standing outside, except Derek who was, presumably, sitting alone in the car.Everybody had welcomed him to the group, except him.Everybody had made conversation with him, except him.Everyone attempted to be friendly, a trait very hard to be seen in these times of distress, except him.Everybody had talked to Alana, taking pity that a girl her age was going through such a phase, except him.Everybody was really as open as a book, except him.But mostly, nobody here really intrigued Stiles, except him.Shrugging, he let it go and followed the rest of his group to the car.After putting Stiles’ bag in the back, the nine quickly settled in the car and soon were speeding down the expressway. Alana was already asleep with her head on her father's shoulder after having half a packet of gummy bears offered to her by Lydia. Stiles felt bad for the poor child who had walked such a long way on an empty stomach. The first time ever she'd done so. Soon Lydia, Scott, Jennifer, Erica, Boyd and Isaac all fell asleep, and Stiles was amazed at how much space all of them had to sleep as all ten of them appeared to be pretty comfortable. Jackson was sitting in the front row talking in hushed tones to the driver so as to not wake the others up. It looked more like a one sided conversation as the other only responded with a nod or a single phrase.He found it weird how every seemed to listen to him without him actually saying anything. All he'd come across to him, was as a proud and arrogant asshole who liked to order everyone's asses around him. That being said, he was also thankful to him for saving his, and more importantly, his daughter’s life. He tiredly watched Derek with half lidded eyes, who didn't appear to be tired one bit."Get some sleep," Jackson said, his voice resonated to the back of the silent Hummer, "Save energy for tomorrow."Stiles appeared to be fine with that, "Yeah, tell me if he needs to switch, maybe I can take the wheel after a while."Neither Derek nor Jackson responded, not so much as to nod their heads. Stiles, too tired to function, didn't pay too much attention and closed his eyes, thinking back to how it all started. That one fateful night after which, nothing was ever same again. And before long, he too, was fast asleep.
11253738	The Swimming Hole	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "F/M", "Characters": "Phryne Fisher, Jack Robinson", "Fandom": "Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Explicit", "author": "by OllyJay", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-20T00:00:00", "words": "1,435", "Additional Tags": "Blow Job, Cotton Candy Smut", "Relationship": "Phryne Fisher/Jack Robinson", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Jack sat down on the sun-heated rock, his body refreshingly chilled from the water. Sighing with pleasure at the heat emanating from the stone; he let his naked body sink slowly back, placing his hands behind his head, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath of the sweet scented air. This, he thought, is how life should be. The swimming hole (complete with waterfall, lush vegetation and the handy rock ledge big enough for two) was a tip she had picked up from some poor sod at a bar, a secret shared no doubt in the hope that he would be the one 'splashing' around with her. Jack let his legs swing gently side-to-side, enjoying the way the grass tickled the soles of his feet. He could hear her still moving around in the water as he melted into the gentle warmth.A short time later a change in sound alerted him to her approach. “Hello,” he rumbled, without opening his eyes. Her only reply was to place a wet, cold hand in the middle of his sun-warmed chest. He shivered. She took her hand away and, nudging his legs apart, came to stand in front of him.“You are so incredibly beautiful,” she said.He raised his eyebrows at the unusual compliment but did not open his eyes choosing instead to imagine her standing naked and wet in front of him.“I can't believe I let you get on that ship without me - that I nearly lost you.”“You would have known where to find me again."“I should never have let you go in the first place,” she insisted.“I’m not arguing the point,” he assured her.There was a soft chuckle in response and then he felt the coolness of her hands on his thighs pushing them further apart as she knelt between them. He took a sharp inward breath when her hands were replaced by the smoothness of a cheek and the cold wetness of her hair running along the inside of first one, then the other of his thighs. This was followed by her warm lips kissing the heat back and the occasional gentle nip of teeth followed by soothing licks from her tongue. Her attentions were everywhere but where he most wanted them and he couldn't suppress several groans of need as she continued to tease him. He felt her smile against the tender flesh of his inner thigh."This is obviously not how I expected the day to go," he said."Are you disappointed?""No,” he said quickly, desperate to have her keep touching him, then “oh," as she gently cupped and caressed his balls before licking up from the base of his now erect cock. "It’s good, that’s good," he managed as his focus narrowed to the feel of her hand, mouth and tongue. "But this isn't going to last long if you carry on doing that," he warned.She chuckled, "I’d be disappointed in myself if it did.”Those words and the warmth of her breath against him resulted in another low groan.“Why don’t you sit up?" she suggested, grasping his saliva drenched cock firmly in her hand.He pushed himself back up to sitting position and looked down at her kneeling between his legs on the soft ground. Rivulets of water trailed down her body and her pale skin was tinged with the flush of arousal. As she began to stroke him, he reached down to graze his fingers across her cheekbone, gasping when she lowered her head taking the tip of him into her mouth. Of its own accord his hand moved to tangle in her hair as he felt her tongue circling him, teasing as she suckled gently on him.It was almost embarrassing how quickly this was going to end, he thought, just as she pulled back to look up at him, eyes dark with desire and lips swollen. “I love seeing you like this,” she said as her hand returned to the firm slow strokes to the base of his cock.His hand tightened in her hair as he struggled to calm himself.“Do something for me?”His voice rough he told her, “Anything… I’ll do anything.”She let her hand go all the way up to the top of his cock, to stroke the sensitive area there at a faster tempo, a small smile on her lips as she saw what little control he still had slipping away from him. “Finish in my mouth,” she said, opening her mouth to take him as deep as she could."Fuck." This was an image he could never get enough of, lips open wide, moving up and down on him. All thoughts of constraint disappeared as he let his weight fall on one arm, his other hand in her hair clenching in time with his thrusting hips. He was so deep inside her he could feel the back of her throat and he did not care about anything but how good this felt. The wet warmth of her mouth squeezing and releasing, her tongue twisting around him. His hand tensed, “Shit… that feels… I'm going to...” Words failed him as he thrust, quick and shallow, wave after wave of pleasure coursing through him as she sucked him without mercy. When she released him he sunk back on the rock, more than a little dazed.She came to lie beside him, one hand brushing his still damp hair off his face, "You alright?"He turned his head to her, "I have spent the last five days reasonably confident that this…” he flicked his eyes between himself and her, “...was over and so things like that..." his eyes flicked down, "...were never going to happen again. So actually I'm more than a little overwhelmed right now.”She nodded, making herself busy tracing meaningless patterns on his shoulder with her fingers then leaning in to cover it with light kisses.He made a pleased sound and turned his face back towards the sun, closing his eyes, drowsy with contentment.She carried on lavishing his shoulder with kisses. "I love you," she whispered against his skin.His head swung back and he gaped at her, speechless. Of all the unexpected things that had happened today..."I love you, Jack Robinson," she repeated staring directly into his eyes.He moved onto his side, creating space between them, "Are you sure?""I've never been surer of anything in my life," she confirmed."Right," there was a moment of silence as he attempted to process this information, and failed... instead blurting out the first words that he found, "That’s good.” It was not the most inspired of responses he admitted as he rolled onto his back again but how typical of her to spring this on him, out of the blue, when less than half his faculties were operating. He squeezed his eyes tight. He could feel her looking at him, waiting. He blinked furiously before moving to face her again. Their eyes level, he slid one arm under her head, placing the other on her hip and pulled her in close. Holding her tight he rolled onto his back taking her with him, entangling their legs and turning his face into her wet hair. He breathed in the scent of her deeply.“It’s alright, you don’t have to say anything but I wanted you to know how I felt,” she whispered into his ear.Christ, he could hear sadness in her voice - he hadn’t been ready for this, he needed a moment to regain his composure. His arms tightened around her and his breathing became ragged. “I…” he started but couldn’t continue. In frustration he nuzzled into the hollow of her neck placing desperate kisses wherever he could, hoping she would understand what he was trying to convey. She squirmed in his arms and he realised all he had done was make her ticklish. It was patently obvious that - at this most momentous point in their relationship - he had not put his best foot forward. And then it got worse.“Jack? Are you?" there was a strange lilt to her voice, "Are you crying?"He shook his head vigorously, burying determinedly into her neck when she tried to pull back to look at him."Oh," she stopped struggling, moving her hand up to caress the back of his head. After a moment she spoke again, her voice gentle in way he had never heard before, "Shall I just take an educated guess at how you feel?” she offered.He nodded his head and hugged her even tighter.
11235414	Im Your Mate No Matter	{ "Archive Warning": "Major Character Death", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "George Harrison, Ringo Starr, John Lennon, Paul McCartney, Brian Epstein, George Martin", "Fandom": "The Beatles", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Explicit", "author": "by sherlocked221", "chapters": "20/20", "completed": "2017-06-25", "published": "2017-06-18T00:00:00", "words": "30,100", "Additional Tags": "Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha John, Alpha Ringo, POV John, POV Ringo, POV Paul, POV George, Knotting, References to Knotting, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Crying, Lots of Crying", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "George Harrison/Ringo Starr, John Lennon/Paul McCartney, Brian Epstein/John Lennon", "Series": "Though Not In Heat-I'm Hot for You", "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	It is very hot. For England, it is so very hot. The June heat is humid and sweltering. Everything has a warm orange hue around it, circles of light spiralling off anything that will reflect the strong rays. Colour is brighter, leaves on blossomed trees, even in the city, buildings, usually with the greyest of brickwork, now sparkle almost white. The sky is a rich blue, clouds that are fluffy and white creep across it, hoping not to be seen spoiling the perfect view, but what would the sky be without it’s clouds. I think it looks prettier having them there in wispy, smoke-like streaks or healthy round cotton wool balls. I may never have learnt the proper names for different clouds at school, but I don’t care what you call them. I just like the image they give, the sunny day these clouds help paint.A sunny day that I don’t feel at all part of. I don’t even see the clouds, the sky. I can feel the sun, though. I’m sitting in a boiling hot, cigarette smoke polluted studio in EMI, sweating my butt off while Paul and John are talking about a song we’re meant to be recording. If they spent half as much time actually playing the song, I often think they might smooth out much of the problems they run into, instead of talking and getting pissed off at one another. Especially in this heat. John can be a bastard in the cold, but in the heat, with everyone’s tempers fraying, everyone just a little too uncomfortable for their liking, John can be a real catalyst for most arguments that go on, almost all of them, in fact.I wasn’t even expecting to be back in the studio so quickly. We’ve just released Sgt Pepper’s to a world hungry for something other than mindless love songs, to a world that’s changed quite a bit from our 1963 days, to a world that’s been waiting for the Beatles’ bubble to burst. Well we showed them that we are not only still here, but that we are going to be bigger than ever.And after that particular statement in the form of an epic album, I was sort of hoping for a break while it skyrocketed into No.1. That may not have taken at all long, but we could watch the money roll in for a while, take some time to write some songs before we have to head back into the studio.Of course, fuck no! John and Paul wouldn’t have it. They weren’t going to wait for the likes of me to take some time and write some songs that would probably only get a couple of spaces on the next album. John had already got an idea for our next single. I wonder if the man ever fucking sleeps. I don’t, not anymore. I’m either working until late with them lot, or I’m home with Ringo making use of the night we do get to spend together.Ringo’s out getting something ice cold to drink. I miss having him to talk to when he’s not around, even if it’s for 5 minutes. I notice his absence in an instant. There are less random drum solos being played when in the background, no one to talk to when Paul and John have started their usual conversing that didn’t include either their guitarist or drummer. Boy did we feel like part of the group when they did that. Ringo is often the only thing that makes me feel like a Beatle.Thank God, he comes back soon, holding two bottles of sweating coke and a cigarette hanging from the corner of his lips. He sits back down on his drum stool and hands me one of the cokes. We each down about half of it before looking up at one another, both our faces shining in sweat and coloured pink at the cheeks. Ringo leans forward, his arm stretched out towards me, and moves a strand of my hair that had been stuck to my forehead away to conform to the rest of the style. We’ve all sort of outgrown (quite literally) our mop tops. My hair is now much longer, the fringe parted in the middle forming two swoops. The back of my hair curls up a bit.Ringo, ok he has mostly kept his mop top, but it’s longer. He’s also taken to having a pair of thick sideburns lining almost down to his jaw.“How is everything?” He inquires in a low voice, telling me to be honest.“It’s alright,” I lie. I want Ringo to run his fingers through my hair now. He does that when we’re going to sleep. I’m tired and he just gave me a small tease of it by tiding that one strand away. But I know that we can’t do that sort of thing here. We have to be professional in here as a rule by George Martin and Bri, not to mention all the people that could just walk in. No one really knows about us, not even something as obvious as John and Paul. To the rest of the world, we’re Betas and that’s how we have to stay.Actually, thinking about this whole ‘professional’ rule, the amount of times that John and Paul get into arguments and yell about their domestic life in the heat of the fight is innumerable. They should technically not do that, but I guess the make-up sex when they get home is what they live for. Ringo and I barely last through the front door- we do, though, or all the fans that hang outside would probably think it quite strange- before we start making out, and we usually haven’t even been fighting the whole day. I bloody well hope this session will end at some point today and we’ll get to go home, Ringo and me. If it’s not too late or still quite warm, we might sit out in the garden and have a quick dinner. I’m not even thinking too much about having him fuck me tonight, I simply want to be with him for a while, saying exactly what we want, talking about something other than work, kissing like nobody is watching (because no one is…)“George, will you come here?” Paul says sweetly.As get up to walk a total of six or seven small steps, I whisper to Ringo, “I’m being summoned.”He giggles softly. He’s so quiet and polite. Fuck, if I had to sit around for as long as he does, sit around, waiting for my friends to call me over as though I’m totally under their direction, I would certainly not be as nice about it as he is. I’ve kicked up a fight about far less, while he sits, content in quietly drumming, quiet so not to disturb the two at work. If it were me, I’d slap the cymbals until someone took notice.We finish around 9 or 10 o’clock with barely a backing track recorded. All four of us file out onto the warmly lit street, it’s not even that dark yet, and we all decide to go back to Paul and John’s place. He suggested it since we’ll be straight back here tomorrow. I don’t really mind because Ringo and I can still have our fun at their place. They’ll probably be having their own fun, even with us in the next room.We all get into John’s car and head out onto the unusually quiet London roads. Ringo sits beside me in the back, his hand etching towards mine until it clasps around me. I’m gazing out the window, distracted by my own thoughts when he squeezes my fingers to get my attention.“The radio,” He breathes. I listen to the radio which is very quietly playing in the background. The song happens to be Fixing a Hole, Paul’s vocals coming through sounding different from how we heard it having stood next to him when he was singing. We’d heard it in the studio, the finished product but this, hearing it on the radio, everything sounds different. It makes me smile. It never ceases to make me feel proud. This is what we dreamed of, this is what we have become, and I still feel like that kid auditioning for a band called the Quarrymen when I was around 14 years old.“Paul,” I pipe up, tapping his shoulder, “You hear that? On the radio?”He pauses for a second, “Yeah, yeah I do!” We all get that feeling in our stomachs. That’s us! We all get quite emotional for the rest of the car ride. I see Paul taking John’s hand when the latter isn’t changing gear. All the arguments they had during the recordings seem to be forgotten, I finally let all the comments hurled at me go as well, the anger I built up about my single track out of 14, I decide not to think about it. I kiss Ringo instead. As I lean over to him, he wraps his arms around me on the inside of my shirt. It may be boiling, but I’d risk dehydrating to have Ringo hug me. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- John gives me and George the cosy guest room beside his own. It has a huge double bed with a heavy duvet that I don’t really look at, because it’s way too hot to sleep under that. Not to mention the fact that I’m not planning to do much of that sleeping business. I feel a bit bad for sizing up the room according to positions I can have George in and the possibilities of the furniture in there, but, judging by John yelling at us from the corridor, “Yeh don’t mind if we’re loud, do yeh?” I assume he has the same idea.George also seems to have a similar mind set. As soon as the door is closed, he leaps around the bed towards me and finishes a kiss I had started earlier which was broken by Paul.When we got inside Paul and John’s home, I waited until the latter had gone off to check what was in the kitchen that we could eat, before, with Paul still in the room, turning around and pinning George against the wall, my lips prying his open. My hands clutched his wrists, pushing them back like my fingers were cuffs attached to the wall. I don’t know why I suddenly felt the need to kiss him. I guess it was an impulse carried over from when we were in the car, having heard one of our songs on the radio. You’d think it would get boring, that it’s the same old, same old, that we’ve heard it once in the studio, there’s no point in getting excited when we hear it again. But we don’t get excited as such. It makes us feel like we’re that little Liverpudlian group, just turned down by Decca records, heading into obscurity just before we released Love Me Do.The first time we ever heard ourselves on the radio, I cried. I’m a bit of an emotional wimp, really, but I never thought I’d ever get to the point in my life where I was hearing my hands drum on the radio. It was also one of the first times I realised how much I liked George. He threw his arms around me, giggling breathlessly as he asked me why I was crying.Anyway, Paul broke our kiss by announcing, “You two count as one of my greatest achievements, you know.” I pulled away from George, grinning at his slightly bewildered, but satisfied expression.He peered over my shoulder to counter, “You realise you just heard one of your songs on the radio and you’re considering us as a great achievement?”Paul is still a smug dick over the whole getting George and me together. He sees us kissing, he thinks ‘I did that.’ Sometimes he says it, to himself or to John. Well, if you made us ‘this’ why not let us be it instead of distracting us.George takes it upon himself to remind me that we never finished making out. We start by the door, then work our way back onto the bed until I’ve buckled backwards onto it. I expect him to straddle me, but he doesn’t right away. He takes advantage of me in this position, my legs bent over the edge of the mattress and spread and slides onto his knees between them. He leans forward, sticks out his tongue for me to see and licks my clothed crotch, wetting the thick grey fabric. I arch upwards with the feeling, but the wetness doesn’t soak all the way through. I want it, bad. He follows the outline of my swelling knot, up my member to the waistband of my trousers.“George, please… please…” I gasp. He moves my shirt up my chest to lick my stomach. The sensitivity of his lips closing around my flesh makes me flinch, “No…” I groan, “Down please Georgie.”“Shhh,” He hisses, lifting his head up for a second before going back to licking around my belly button. I’m pretty sure I’m meant to be the Alpha here. How dare he……fuck that feels good! One hand replicates what his tongue had been doing on my crotch. It’s a strange mix of cold and hot, the line his tongue runs around my skin becoming cold, his hand boiling hot. Ok, I’ll let him have his fun.I do not get enough of Georgie these days. He’s always at EMI with Paul and John, constantly, night and day, eight days a week. I don’t blame him. I probably should be there too, but after the boring sessions of Sgt Pepper, I’ve given up being there when I don’t need to be. You know what I got out of those recording sessions? I learnt to play chess. My greatest memory? Dressing up in front of cardboard cut outs. If you ask Paul the same question, he might say he liked introducing the fictional Billy Sheers on the first track or messing about on the electric piano for ‘Getting Better’ so to get the right sound. You ask John, he might say trying to sing ‘Being for the Benefit of Mr Kite’ as fast as possible and all in one breath. You ask Georgie and he’d probably say recording the sitar for ‘Within You, Without You.’Me? I liked doing everything away from the studio. Even recording ‘With a Little Help’ was shit. I wanted to go home, it was late, we could’ve finished the song the next day, but being John and Paul and George, they wanted it done that night. They stood around the mic to make me feel better as I sung it.It did not make me feel better.“Ringo, luv,” George mutters. He’s pulled open my trousers and has me in his hand.“Yes… Georgie?” I breathlessly reply.He chuckles a little, “Can you hear them?”The distinct sound of Paul moaning again and again melts through the walls. I wince.“I don’t really want to. You’re a dirty little voyeur George.” I joke. His lips turn upwards into an evil grin.I learnt that he likes to ‘watch’ a while ago. He walked in on me… well, you can guess doing what. Not knowing how to deal with the situation, he walked out again, all embarrassed. I tried to tell him that I was ok with it, that we probably both touch ourselves still, that there should be nothing wrong with that, but he wouldn’t comment on it. Later on, however, when we were making out, he asked me if he could watch me… doing that. Ok, so I was a little daunted, it took me a while to reach the ‘end’ with his eyes darting over me, but eventually I realised how hot it was. I could see how turned on he was getting, just by watching, just by seeing me.“You know that I am.” He tells me, winking charmingly, “but it makes me think, I like this, how it is. I have you, Paul has John, none of us judge what we all do with one another. I want things to stay like this.”“You’re talking too much,” I laugh, “Get back to sucking my dick, will you, Luv?”He smiles again, teasing me with a lick so close to where I want it, but not close enough. Paul and John are really loud in the next room. While I am trying not to listen, I can’t deny how hot it sounds, filling up the house. George is a lot quieter than Paul, but I always try to get him yelling out for me to fuck him.I guess it’s my turn today. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- There is nowhere better than the studio at EMI. Every time I stride in there, I feel at home. I do love being at home with John, but I love making music with him more. When he came to me saying he had a song that we had to do as a single, get it recorded and released soon, I practically jumped into the car and sped down London’s packed streets to Abbey Road without having told anyone I was going. George Martin might’ve had a few things to say had I done that, not to mention not telling Eppy where we were might’ve made him murder us.Unfortunately, this trip to EMI would not be the most comfortable. It was so humid, it was cramped, it was frustrating. I’d stripped down to my waist because the shirt I wore just clung to me as though it had been drenched in honey or something.Oh, and I was in heat. Talk about being hot, I was aching. I nipped off to the toilet three or four times to have a quick play so that I might be able to concentrate. John loved seeing me so desperate. He would deliberately ask me to look at something just as I was running off to the loo, because he knew what I was going to do. The bastard would actually laugh when I squirmed.Thank fuck we’re home! I don’t bother with dinner. I also couldn’t give a shit that Ringo and George are here. When we’re all eating in the living room, John and I on the sofa, I run my hand up his leg, splay my fingers between his thighs. Instead of getting turned on, he laughs again.“Fuck you,” I growled into his ear. He carried on eating his food. “You better reward me for being such a fucking good boy all day.”“You think I’m going to reward you after that?” Was all he said before he started talking to Ringo again.In our room, I begin undressing, so hard that I’m practically bursting out of my trousers. John is in the corridor, walking to the room after showing George and Ringo’s there’s and I hear him call “Yeh don’t mind if we’re loud, do yeh?” While the boys laugh, thinking I’m going to get what I’ve been wanting all night- they saw me being all too handsy with John- I know I’m going to get something. Torture. I see it in John’s eyes when he walks in.I give him a pleading look as I stand, helplessly nude, desperately turned on, begging him not to make me suffer tonight. He doesn’t have any reaction. He walks towards me, slowly, wrapping his arms around me, oddly unhurried. He begins kissing me gently, gradually speeding up. I hate that he’s clothed, so I take the unnerving comfortability and run my hands down the opening of the shirt, getting to the bottom, then unbuttoning on the way up.“Careful, Paulie. You’re going too fast.”And here we go with the torture. He pushes my hands down by my side with a breathed threat to tie me up if I move them. He continues kissing me, slowly, sensuously, hands remaining at my neck or head. Fuck! I need more. I could beg for more.In fact, I do.I drop to my knees and fumble desperately with his fly, removing his member before he has a chance to stop me. I lick my lips, fuck I can taste him already.“Paul, don’t you dare.” He warns.“Please John, please. I’m sorry for earlier. I want you, I want you so bad, I’m desperate.” I sway my hips forward and back, wishing I was able to get lower and rub myself on the floor. Anything, anything to relieve the wonderful ache.John chuckles, leaning down, smiling right at me. He places his fingers under my chin then pulls up, bending my neck back so far that I forget to breathe. Instead, I make some garbled gasp noise. “Listen to me, luv,” He sounds so playful, so proud of himself for some reason, “If you’re that desperate, you move at my speed, or have nothing. You can go and fuck yourself in the toilet like you did at the studio, if you like.”I whimper.He lets my chin go and takes my wrist with a harsh grasp. Practically dragging me across the scratchy carpet, he guides me to the bed on which he tells me to lie down, face up. He gives more instructions; no touching, no moving away from him, no moving my hands from above my head, no moving into his touch. I quietly and reluctantly nod.I fucking hate John sometimes.Well, not really, but I could swear and curse and slap and punch him enough times that you would think so.He undresses in front of me, watching me as I watch him. I remember when he had some self-conscious issues and refused to undress for me. All of which seems to be forgotten. He discards his shirt as though it melted off him, revealing his chest, with is mostly bare, save for the small dusting of very light hair nearer the top. He’s a lot thinner now, his face slightly losing its roundness, his torso elongating. He’s pretty pale because he rarely takes his shirt off, unlike me or Ringo, but that’s how I like him. I fucking love him. He looks so beautiful, so handsome, so sexy. How couldn’t he see it before? He is no better thin than he was fat, but he’s happier like this, which makes me happy as well. Especially because he’ll let me look at him properly.He drops his trousers next. I almost pass out when he does. He’s hard, thick, dripping in sweat. I want him so bad, but I do well not to move.He crawls onto the bed, seemingly unaware of how gorgeous he looks like that. No, I bet he knows. I bet the bastard knows what he’s doing to me as he kisses up my legs and purposefully misses my member by miles. He makes sure he doesn’t touch it at all, arching his stomach to avoid it.He kisses me the way he did before, slowly, so gently, its hardly worth it. I try to speed it up with minuscule gestures, but he ignores them. He even slows down at one point, removing his tongue from mine. I sob.After a little while of torturous kisses, he leans back, shows me two of his long, skilled fingers and strokes down to enter me with a very soft push. I am leaking. I’ve slicked all over the bed, all over my inner thighs. It takes no effort to get inside me, yet he does it millimetre by millimetre. I’m crying out so loud that I’m sure Ringo and George can probably hear me, not that I care at all. I have to focus all my attention on assuring I don’t do anything that will make John stop.Once all the way in, he pauses to kiss my belly. I flinch.“I love you, Paulie,” He jokes, “I adore you my Paulie,” He kisses me again, “You’re such a good, kind, nice boy Paulie.” He drives out of me, then back in again, “You’re the sweetest boy ever Paulie.”“John, I’m sorry!” I yell.He starts a very slow rhythm this two fingers, “Oh I’m sure you are, Paulie. But you’re also thankful, aren’t you? Say ‘thank you’ to me.”John and his fucking games. My eyes are so tightly closed that all the muscles in my face hurt. My mouth is permanently dropped open so the involuntary moans can escape easily. My mind is cleared, thinking only about one thing, the wonderful pleasure of release. “Thank you, John, thank you, this feels so good, it does.” I waffle. All chance of making sense has been crushed by John’s torture.“As I said, you’re such a good boy. And you’re not going to be naughty again, are you, my luv.”“No.”“Good.” He speeds up. I did something right! He speeds up so quickly that I’m teetering on that edge before I know it.Then he stops, my whole body jolts. “Fuck! John…”“You’ll learn, my dearest.”You’ll fucking learn, you bastard. I bet Ringo never does this shit to George. Then again, George wouldn’t take it. He’d probably pin Ringo down on the bed, teach him who’s really the boss. But then, he’d never want to put Ringo through this, either.I know that I love it. When it’s done, when I’m done, I’ll wish it lasted longer.But right now, I can’t. I want to finish.He edges me closer to come three or four times before he lifts my legs up over his hips and enters me. It barely takes a couple of thrusts before he’s climaxing inside me and I am all over his stomach.We lie together side by side in the boiling hot room. In all of the torture, we’d forgotten to open a window and it’s got overly stuffy in here. Despite the heat, though, I curl up against John who kisses me.“I’m sorry, Luv, but you were naughty.”I turn my head up and lick his jawline, “No it’s fine.”Then a voice comes from the other room, “Thank fuck you both have finished! We might be able to get some sleep now!”“Go fuck yourself, George!” John yells back,to which Ringo replies, “Already done!”We all giggle from the different rooms. I’ve missed this. It’s like being back in Hamburg. All we need is Eppy yelling us from another room to shut up and get to sleep. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- I think it’s going to be a good year. No tours, no fans, not even any Beatles. We were Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band. Of course, we still are the Beatles, but it was so nice to have a change, for so many people to enjoy our music again, rather than asking when we’d stop being so famous, when people would get bored of us. We’ve proved that they never will.Our album is soundtracking the hippy movement, you hear it everywhere you go. All You Need Is Love is another No 1 and we have not much to do for a while. That means I can spend some time with Paulie at home, rather than going off to EMI every day, spending all my time there, seeing him, but working with him.It’s almost the end of the summer now, yet it’s sweltering still. Paul and I spend a lot of our time in the garden. He usually doesn’t wear shirts anymore, hanging around the pool outside either in tight swimming trunks or jeans. He’s grown his hair a lot more, but kept it tidy. He’s handsome as ever.I’ve lost a whole heap of weight, so I join him in abandoning the shirts in my wardrobe, but only in the house. Some habits die hard. I’ve been wearing my glasses more often because Paul told me I needed to. I think he likes them on me. I think it adds to my image.We have as much time alone for now as we do going off and doing things as per our contract. We have another song idea, both Paul and I have a song each. We’re thinking of releasing them on a 7” but it depends on how they sound. Paul’s hoping for another double A side without even listening to my song idea. He wants to be equal with me. It’s sweet.But it’s unrealistic. One of our songs is bound to be a B side. I doubt it will be mine. It’s a proper Sgt Pepper’s type thing. I’ll just wait to hear Paul’s arrangement.Ringo and George have been going good. They turn up to make use of our pool, or for lunch, or to play songs like we’re the Quarrymen again, doing the whole ‘band practice’ thing. We can’t go without performing. We’re glad we don’t have to tour, but we half miss getting up on stage and playing to people who will actually listen.George and Ringo are here today, lying on the deck chairs outside. Ringo has been frolicking in the pool, pretending to be some kind of model in a summer fashion magazine. In reality, he looks like he’s suffering from unfortunate case of uncool, which he never has before. I offer to call a doctor, he tells me to fuck off.Paul has been trying to convince me to swim for the last hour. I’m not in the mood. I’m tired, a little bit horny seeing him in the pale blue trunks he’s strutting around in and I’m talking to George. The boy can’t see that. He’s a naughty attention hog. I teach him not to be later. Ringo comes to lie beside George’s deck chair while Paul jumps off the side of the pool, doing his Help! flag semaphore thing- one arm out to the side, the other directly up. He enters the water with a loud splash. I roll my eyes.“So, you two have a new song?” George asks me.“Songs,” I correct, “He’s got one that he thought of with Alistair, some call and response thing. I’ve got this crazy one that could be really groovy.”George nods, “We getting back to the studio then?”Ringo snorts, “I fucking well hope not. We just got the hell out of there. We can’t be going back just yet.”I get that. We were in EMI every day for a while. Without all the touring, we record and record and record. Keeping ourselves busy, I guess. I could understand getting bored of not doing anything for a long time, but it’s so beautiful out right now, what would be the point of spending all our time inside. And if we started a new song, Paul would never let us have a single day off until it was finished. We couldn’t pick and choose the shit days when we didn’t want to lounge about.Fucking Paul, always wants to be doing something, the bloody perfectionist.“No, we’re going to enjoy the sun while it’s out.” I promise.“And when the sun fucks off, I’m going to follow it.” George giggles, referencing Paul’s song ‘I’ll follow the sun.’ Very funny. Ringo laughs hard about it. He loves that sort of thing, references, jokes, allusions to our songs. He spent a whole night creating pick-up lines based on song lyrics. Honestly, for how mature he acts, you never would think him the oldest.Paul emerges from the pool looking like the model Ringo was trying to be. He climbs up the steps onto the tiled pool edge, strides over the concrete surrounding and over to me. I’m very glad we have a very high fence, as Paul clambers onto my deck chair, straddling me.“Fucking hell, you little dick, getting me all wet!” I cry, but I’m not actually upset about it. The cold pool water cools my steaming body. I lean up to kiss my dear Omega.“Get a room.” George mutters. I reach over to slap him.Then the phone rings.“Phone.” Paul announces.“Yeah, I heard.” I snap thinking, I have ears too, “I’ll get it.”Paul lets me up by swinging his right leg off me. He lies on the deckchair when I’m gone. I hurry, feeling a cool breeze on all the patches of wetness on me, inside and seek out the phone. It’s nicely cold inside, so much better than the humid outside. The receiver is cold too, when I pick it up.“Hello, Lennon speaking.” I say in a mock posh voice.The person who called took a while to form a sentence. By the awkward ums and ahs, I guessed it was Alistair, Bri’s ex-PA. We hadn’t seen Bri in a while, since the last song we were recording in EMI. He was there for a couple of days. Finally, Alistair managed to speak, “John, look, I really have to tell you something, it’s important. Are you sitting down?”This is all too serious for me. I continue my light-hearted approach to the call, feeling just a little nervous, “What does Bri want us to do?” I joke.Alistair pauses again. What the hell is wrong.“John, Brian is… he was found dead in his home.”What?My voice doesn’t work. My heart stops beating. My blood runs cold.I look towards my friends outside, laughing, joking. How could they? How can they be so oblivious? Then again, how can they know? I don’t know how to feel. My first response is to be angry. My second is to remember how to breath.“What?” I splutter.“He was found dead at home from a drug overdose.”“What? I don’t… I don’t understand.”“Brian…”“No! I fucking got that! I just…” The receiver drops from my hand as I drop to my knees. Not this feeling. Not again. I’ve felt this once before. I know this feeling all too well and I HATE IT. I can’t breathe.I look up at the receiver as though it had killed Eppy. I hear Alistair’s calls for me, asking if I’m ok and it pisses me off. I take the phone and smash it on the floor, tears welling in my eyes. I can’t go through this again.Not someone else.Not someone I loved.Again… ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- For a British summer, it’s fucking nice out. You’d expect the sun to piss off back to hot countries close to the end of summer, but here it stays, shining on us, lighting up the sparkling pool, making it glint a brighter blue. Ringo looks proper handsome wading around, giving me funny looks and poses. Paul does too, a picture of a man, gliding through the water as though he were a merman. He could even be a mermaid if he had longer hair and a pair of tits.I bet John thinks so too. When Paul comes strutting over to us, straddling John’s legs and kissing him, you could see the younger man forming a long blue tail and side saddling John’s lap. I giggle at the thought.“Get a room.” I joke, for which John leans over to slap me. I nudge the weak contact off my arm. He doesn’t mean to hurt, he knows it’s all in good fun.“Phone.” Paul alerts us all to a call which I hadn’t even heard. It trills from inside, barely audible. He must have hawk-like hearing. John goes off to answer it, muttering something about ‘work calls.’“Who do you think that is?” Ringo asks, lying back, almost disinterested in his own question. He bathes in the gorgeous rays, his chain hanging from his neck resting in sparkling dots on his chest. He gave me his rings to wear because I didn’t want to go in the pool. I still have the one he gave me hugging my middle finger. I twirl each of them idly as I watch my Alpha rest. No one answers his question, but he doesn’t press for one. Paul keeps glancing inside to see where John is. I bet he’s a little bit turned on after that kiss. When Ringo kisses me like that, I want to have him, no matter where we are.I decide to take his mind off of it. “John said you had an idea for a new song.”Paul gazes back at me, “Oh, it’s just an idea, no tune or anything. Nothing written down. He’s got lyrics for his one and a proper sound. Did he tell you about it?”I shake my head.“Have you got anything?” He asks.I’m a little taken aback that does, actually. I usually tell him if I have a track, he rarely asks. I feel very spotlighted. Thank God Ringo has a mouth that acts as mine too, “You had something, didn’t you, George? You were playing it a couple of nights ago.”Paul’s eyebrows raise in interest, “Really?”“Yeah, I guess so, no-“A loud bang from inside startles us. Ringo immediately sits up while mine and Paul’s eyes shoot towards the door. We don’t speak, we all just hurry inside, finding John on his knees and the phone crushed beside him.“John?” Paul collapses in front of him. Ringo and I stand close to one another, confused, “John, what’s the matter?”John peers up, his eyes welling with tears. He looks pissed off, very pissed off. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him like this. Paul has, though. He has a worried look in his eyes, but a knowing one. John can’t speak, he can barely breath. We wonder if he hasn’t been too careful with drugs or something. Paul says it first, “You taken something?” but John shakes his head.“Then what’s wrong, luv?” I ask, coming down to his level too. I sit by his side, cross-legged.“Eppy…”“Eppy what?”Paul’s eyes widen even more. He rubs John’s back soothingly, peppering kisses on his cheek and moving strands of hair away from his eyes. He realises that John can’t speak at the moment, so he asks us to give them some space. We don’t want to leave him like this, so we head upstairs to the bedroom we use when we stay over. My mind is blank, completely void of everything.I haven’t seen John like this before.“What do you think happened?” Ringo is always one to question. I shake my head. I’ve lost my voice too. Ringo can’t be silent, though. He can hear too much from downstairs when he is. I pat the bed beside me where I’ve elected to sit, and he comes to sit next to me, looking at me for answers.“George…”“I don’t know, Ritchie. I can’t know. I wasn’t on the phone.”“I know.” He says, hearing the worry in my voice, “I’m sorry.”We talk about what we’re going to do for dinner tonight, but I don’t really hear anything. Nothing until I hear footsteps coming up the stairs. Both Ringo and I sit to attention as Paul knocks softly on the door. When he comes in, the first thing that strikes me is his reddened, puffy eyes. I feel sick.“Erm… I hate to sound cliché,” He tries to act in control, his voice solid and fake, “but I really don’t know how to say this.” The hardened sound, the mask in his voice breaks down and he lets a single tear stream down the tracks of others. “Eppy was… he died.”Ringo clasps a ring-less hand over his lips. Tears form in his eyes straight away. I gulp down a lump in my throat hastily.“Died?” I parrot.“He… overdosed. That’s all John could tell me.”What am I meant to say to that? I stare blankly at Paul. He can’t meet my gaze. He’s fiddling with his hands, crying tears into them. I look at Ringo. He’s sobbing. I feel as though I have to be strong for him. I clasp my arms around him, having him cry into my shoulder. I feel a hole in my chest, the lump rising again in my throat as though my heart were about to escape my body through my mouth. It’s broken, it’s shattered. My eyes start welling, but I disallow myself to cry. I extend an arm for Paul who comes and sits on the other side of me. He takes the other shoulder. I just don’t know what to do.We sit, them two in tears, for a long time. Even when they stop crying, we sit there. I realise that we’re missing one, so I make sure that Paul is not still crying and I ask, “Is John alright?”“He’s… he can’t talk about it. He can’t cry. You know what he’s like.” Several times, Paul almost descends into tears, but manages to overcome them, “He’s angry. Just really angry. I had to get away because… when his mum died, he wanted to punch… everything. I just… gave him his space.”Bloody hell. I have Ringo to look after, a boy who will cry on my shoulder, have me spoon him for a while, won’t let me go for a few days. Pau has John, destructive, aggressive John. I feel as though I have to help him too. I don’t have time to cry.“I’ll go and check if he’s ok.” I suggest, getting up onto my unsteady feet. My legs feel very weak. Paul looks as though he’s about to stop me, but he has no words to do so. He takes Ringo’s hand to replace me while I’m away. I mouth a thank you to him. Ringo needs some comfort.And so does John.I head downstairs with careful treads and peek into the living room where John had been before. The phone remains in tatters on the ground, but John is lying, curled up on the sofa.“John?” I call to him. He doesn’t respond. “Are you ok?”“Are you?” He hisses through strangled tears, “Because if you are, you’re a fucking heartless bastard.”“Of course I’m not ok. How can I be? You just looked very shaken up earlier and Paul was worried about you.”He winces. I dare to walk closer to him, standing at the foot end of the sofa. He’s covered his head with a pillow. His hands are wet and the fingertips white from gripping the pillow so hard. This is how I feel in my mind.“Is there anything I can do for you?” I try.John groans, muffled by the pillow. “I can’t go through this again.” He murmurs, “I really can’t.”“Again?” I repeat.Finally, he sits up. He looks rough, really rough, so pale everywhere other than his bright red eyes and cheeks. “My mum. Don’t you remember? She decided to fuck off and now Eppy has and… fuck it hurts like hell, physically hurts.”“Where does it hurt?” I feel as pathetic as a primary school teacher with that question.John doesn’t buy it as a genuine question either, “Fucking everywhere you fucking…” His voice catches, he doesn’t bother finishing the sentence. Then he sees Paul wandering into the room.“Ringo wants you, George.” He says, though he doesn’t look at me. He first doesn’t look at either of us until he realised that John is sitting up. It takes a moment for my legs to respond to my brain telling them to move. As I pass Paul, I touch his hand. His gaze follows me up the stairs. I think he’s worried about being with John at them moment. I’m worried about what state Ringo’s going to be in.He’s sitting on the bed against the headboard. His hands are wiping tears from his eyes, but not as quick as their produced. Instead of going straight to him, I duck into the en suite and pull some of the loo roll off, bundling it in my hand. I then go out and dry Ringo’s tears for him, wiping up his soaked hands too.“I… I…”“Calm down, luv. Take your time. You don’t have to say anything.”He wraps his arms around my neck and kisses me. I lie on his bent legs, my head on his knees while he holds me around my shoulders.Like that, with minimal moving for a little more comfort, we fall asleep. It’s going to be a rough night. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- I jolt awake, feeling sick to my stomach. I swear I didn’t eat dinner last night, yet I feel as though I have enough undigested food waiting for me to move for it to surge up into my mouth. I wait for the feeling to subside by shuffling into a slightly more comfortable position away from John’s firm grip around me. He doesn’t stir, so I think I can manage to get up. My mouth’s dry, I need a drink.It’s not even morning yet. Time tickles by at a snail’s pace. Then again, we all fell asleep pretty early. I think it was just gone 7 when George went back up to comfort Ringo.I knew that John was my responsibility, that, no matter how afraid I was to deal with him, I couldn’t let George go off to do my work as a mated Omega. I gave Ringo a last hug, he needed it, then wandered back downstairs where I found George standing at the end of the sofa that John had been laying. John was sitting up when I walked in. George must’ve done something good. I told him that Ringo wanted him and watched him dart off upstairs.As he passed me, he touched my hand. It made me want to burst out in tears again. I don’t know how to deal with this, never mind trying to comfort someone else. George seemed so good at this. I hated the lingering feeling of his touch reminding me that I was now alone, in front of John, who was silently sobbing to himself.“I know you probably don’t want to talk.” I said from the doorway. John shook his head. He kicked back onto the sofa, lying face up this time with his legs draped over the far arm. I began to step towards him gingerly. It was as though John was a nervous horse I had to tame, by first not starling it. I decided to kneel beside the sofa, weaving my fingers around John’s hand. He was hiding his face with his other arm, strewn across his face. I saw his chest move up and down rhythmically as he breathed. I muttered a small prayer when I saw him breathing normally. Before, he couldn’t draw a single ounce of air into his lungs. His chest lay still for a long time, then, every so often, it would jut upwards, a sharp gasp could be heard, a wet gasp, and more tears. At least he wasn’t crying so much. I knew that tears were still slowly making their steam down his face, but it was better than before.“I want him back.” I heard him muffle. I squeezed his hand tighter.I was crying again, “I do too.” I bowed my head until it rested on John’s hip. For a while, my tears soaked into his swimming trunks. It was bright outside. I forget it was so early, because my world had darkened. Hardly 20 minutes before, I had been fucking about in the beautiful sun, laughing, joking.I feel bad that I was having fun. You know, there’s no way I could’ve know, no way I could’ve been there, yet I hate myself for being so happy.John and I didn’t talk for a long time. I wanted to. I wanted to say something, but I didn’t know what. Everything I’d thought about Eppy seemed pointless to say. We all knew how much he’d done for us. We all were feeling- still are feeling- lost without him. What the fuck will we do with the band now?Before I fell asleep, curled up beside John, he murmured something in a dazed state. I think he was drifting off too. It was almost as though he was sleep talking. “There was so much I never said to him.”I couldn’t reply, because I was sure I knew what he meant.For a house that John owns, you’d expect there to be alcohol somewhere. I’m not calling him an alcoholic, not in any way. He’s just the type to have a bottle or can of anything stored away in the back of the fridge. Alas, no luck tonight. I pour myself a glass of ice cold water and light up a cigarette. It’s too hot inside, which isn’t helping with my churning stomach, so I open the back door into the garden to stand out in the night induced cold. My cigarette is the only light, embers in the darkness, save for the street lamps burning far behind me. Where I stand, I’m facing into an unending abyss, drawing in smoke to my lungs to satisfy that itch inside me that begs for a cigarette.But there is no longer an itch there. There is a hole. Pain radiates around it. I don’t even feel the icy cold wind shooting past me, bearing in mind that I’m still shirtless, because I’m too numb for anything other than my aching chest.Right now, I don’t feel strong enough to think of Eppy, but my mind cannot remove his image, even just for a moment. His smart face, his posh accent, his gentle eyes, the genuine smile that crept onto his lips. Tears threaten again, but I don’t stop thinking about him.I was a terror for fucking about with Eppy. Because I knew he was gay, I thought I could bat my long eyelashes, ask for anything with a quiet promise of my attention, and he’d do anything for me. I was an idiot, of course, thinking that every person with a liking for men would fall at my feet. I’m a handsome guy, but love and crushes don’t work that way.Really, I think I wanted Eppy to like me. Then I could say that I was a catch amongst men and women. But Eppy wasn’t attracted to me.He didn’t ask me to Barcelona.I can’t believe, when the man has just died, I still get a pang jealousy in thinking about that trip with John. I tell myself that it means nothing. John probably has some good memories of that holiday. None of us got holidays at the time. I, begrudgingly, tell myself to hope he did have a good time, that the trip holds some of the best memories he could ever have of our manager.I’ll never forget the sweaty hotel rooms or nights at Hamburg where it was us five- John, George, Ringo, Eppy and myself. I’ll never forget the days we ran through hordes of fans together. I’ll cherish every instruction I remember him giving us. Even every disagreement, I’ll smile at, because we got through it all.I’m bawling, I can’t stop myself. I suck in mouthfuls of water to counter the tears that have come out in their bucket loads. In this summer heat, I’ll dehydrate if I keep crying like I have been.I drop the finished cigarette butt on the ground, but I can’t grind it out, because I’m not wearing any shoes. I drink the last of the water, then head back inside. John is still asleep on the sofa, eyes red, hair mussed, his shirt pulled apart now with a few buttons missing. I drop the glass into the kitchen sink which is full of dirty water from plates that had been dumped in there with food still on them. I dread to wash it up, but someone is going to have to eventually.Well, I feel utterly lost. I’m not tired, I’m not wide awake, I feel sick and uncomfortable. I need a distraction. I pick up a pen and paper and flick on a lamp. I sit on our armchair opposite the sofa, curled up and hoping that the light and sound of me scrawling lyrics won’t wake him up.I need to focus on music now, or else I will descend into depression.I think I need to help everyone else to do the same as well. We don’t have Bri to take care of us now, so we need someone else. I wonder if that might have to be me. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- The warmth of another country’s summer. It’s not humid, it’s not sticky, it’s hot and comfortable. I can walk around in a t-shirt that doesn’t immediately stick to me. I haven’t been away in ages. It’s perfection.Paul would love it here. I bet he’s pissed off to high heaven that he didn’t take the opportunity. I’m going to come home with a whole scrapbook of pictures of me bathing in sunlight, playing my harmonica on a tropical beach. Then, if he wasn’t jealous before, he’s going to fucking kill me, but it’s totally worth it.Eppy has the camera. I insist he takes 10 or so pictures of me in the same place, doing a ton of random actions. He takes a load in quick succession so that it could act like a flip book.It’s really weird seeing him all casual. He’s not the type for pairs of American style jeans and stuff like that, so his casual is a pair of very old looking suit trousers and a shirt that’s not buttoned all the way to the top. His hair is not perfectly slicked back as it usually is, nor is it properly combed. There’s no point when a gentle breeze messes it up every time we go out. That’s another thing I like about being here, so far, we have had wonderful sunny days complete with a breeze rustling through the trees, keeping us tourists, who are not used to such delicious heat, cool enough to keep us from complaining.“You, John, are an evil man if you are going to run back to England to show these off to the boys.” Eppy criticises, but he’s laughing. He knows I’ll probably do that anyway, whether that makes me evil or not. I walk beside him, following a long stone wall that separates us from a huge grassy field. The sea laps away at the horizon not far away. A beach is close by. I fancy getting my shirt off on golden sands, if Eppy doesn’t mind having to see my disgusting, naked torso.“What else would I do with them?” I reply, “Anyway, wasn’t it you who told me off for talking about the boys? Abide by your own stupid rules, Bri.”He shrugs his shoulders, “Yes, but I only implemented the rule because you would not shut up about Paul.”It’s true. I missed him just a little, “I’m over that now.” I lie. Ok, I miss him a lot. I really hope I don’t start my rut while I’m here or I might have to bend Eppy over his hotel room bed. Paul would kill me if I did such a thing.“Oh, I believe you, John.” Eppy jests. I feel like shoving him, forgetting that he’s not Paul or George or Ringo. I’ve shove them at the smallest prompt. Why I don’t with Eppy, I guess it’s because he has this air about him, that he’s too posh for such little games.He’s not too posh for profanity, though, “Fuck off, you bastard.”He chuckles at that. “John, you know that I have no problem with you and Paul. I like that you two have found a part of yourselves in each other.” He says genuinely.“You’re getting soft on me.” Of course, I can’t take his sappy words.He shakes his head, “I’m serious. You both seem very happy when you’re together. And you work well together.”Ok, now he’s making me grin. I do miss Paul. I can’t wait to get home. I mean, this trip is great, but I would’ve liked for Paul to have come as well. God, I want him bad.Eppy and I have dinner at the hotel, then go upstairs. Neither of us are tired, so I set up a game of cards, lighting myself a cigarette and letting Eppy pour a couple of drinks. When he sits down, he holds his glass out to clink it with mine. I’ve accidently drunk half of the stuff already, but the effect is the same, so I knock the rim against his and smile.“Here’s to us two queers.” I joke.Eppy laughs lightly as he brings the glass to his lips. I start our game. We play for a little while, in giggles for no apparent reason, then Eppy wants to talk while we’re playing. He likes talking.“So, Paul is your Omega? Officially?”I look up from my cards. Eppy is still looking at his. I don’t think he wants to meet my eyes, because he’s embarrassed to pry. I lean in, “Oh yeah. It’s official, just not to everyone else.”“I’m sorry you can’t be honest about the way that you are.”I shrug, “I don’t mind as long as I can have Paulie any which way I feel like it.” Eppy shuffles uncomfortably, “What? Aren’t yeh used to a bit of dirty talk, Eppy? Never had a guy who said dirty little things into your ear?”“John…” He warns. I’ve overstepped.I also don’t care.“Why have you shut up all of a sudden?” I query, deadly serious now. I don’t like things getting serious.“Because…” He huffs, “I’m worried what I’ll say.”“Just say.” I insist, looking back down at my cards, “I don’t give a fuck, whatever.”There’s a long silence. Eppy opens and closes his mouth several times, I hear him do it. I avoid eye contact to make him feel better about talking to me. I can come across as a bit hostile and intense. I don’t mean to, that’s why I’m trying not to come off as that right now. But still Eppy doesn’t talk.“Is there something about Paul?” I try, then smile and jeer, “Do you fancy him?”“No, John. It’s not about him.” He replies all too quickly.“Then who is it about?” He doesn’t talk, he doesn’t look at me. He doesn’t even continue the game. He peers over his shoulder as though he’s listening to the angel or devil sitting there. One is probably telling him to talk, the other telling him to shut up. I bring his attention back to me by slamming my cards onto the table. His eyes meet mine.“John, I thought you were well aware of my feelings for you. I think you’re very attractive. I wanted to shut up in case I made out as though I didn’t want Paul and you together.”My lips round into an o shape, my breath coming out in one long hiss. I hadn’t been entirely aware of his ‘crush’ on me, but I don’t want to seem shocked. Too shocked anyway.“Look, I think you’re a great guy, Eppy, but I don’t really want to have it off with you.”Eppy nods, looking away from me, then he looks back, meeting my gaze, a new wave of confidence running over him, “Then a blow job. It’ll mean nothing.”I’m not sure how to respond. It takes a moment for me to formulate everything in my mind. What I wouldn’t give to have Paulie here to suck off, and it’s not great having a guy practically begging to have me fuck him, but I know I can’t. I’m also pretty sure Eppy will regret it, after all that soppy shit about liking me and Paul together, “You’re not that kind of guy.” I remind him.He leans back in his chair, “No, I know I’m not. I wouldn’t want you to fuck up your relationship with Paul, I really wouldn’t, but anything seems worth a shot when you’re getting none.”I sympathise. It’s been almost a week since I’ve had Paul. That’s why this situation is a… a situation. I decide it’s time for bed, getting up and walking towards my room. Eppy begins to clear the cards away.I feel bad, poor guy. Getting none, getting rejected. I stop short of passing him by and stand right next to him so that, when he stops leaning across the table to pile up the cards in his hand, he’s practically touching me.“One kiss.” I say, “I’ll give you something to touch yourself to in bed. What do you say?” I don’t actually give him a chance to answer. I slide to my knees, put my hands on each of the arms of the chair he sits on and I kiss him.He even tastes posh. I bet he’s an Omega, hiding behind his stuck-up smartness and leadership control. A poor Omega who probably takes heat suppressants, who has probably not had a good knotting for a hell of a long time. We’re both lonely, both haven’t had sex in too long- granted his luck may have been years, whereas my last was last week. I sort of want to have him, to satisfy that ache for Paulie. He isn’t as strong as Paul, he doesn’t kiss with the passion that Paulie does, then again, Eppy doesn’t love me. He likes me, he has a crush on me or whatever he wants to call it. I’ve also caught him off guard.But he feels fucking amazing in that I have not touched another person like this in a week. I linger too long with my lips over his. My hands begin wandering downwards. It’s a bad idea, but I can’t think straight. Queers usually can’t think straight. I’m actually an idiot….Eppy pulls away a short while later. “John, this is gone too far. You have Paul.”I sit back on my knees, “I know, I know.”But Eppy isn’t acting how he usually does. He stares at me intensely, “You have Paul. You only have Paul now. She’s gone, I’m gone, Paul’s it now. Look after him, John.”Don’t fucking do this to me! My eyes shoot open, the image of Eppy still there, still in front of me until I blink a few times. Don’t haunt me! I don’t have the fucking time or strength to be haunted.Paul is awake already, sitting on the armchair opposite me. He’s writing on a sheet of paper, probably song lyrics. While I don’t want to go back to sleep, I don’t want to be awake. I watch Paul until my eyes get heavy. Sleep drags me away again. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- One minute, I’m curled up, sleeping at the very top of a bed with George curled around my legs.The next, I think I’m awake, but it feels like a nightmare. Maybe I just dreamed that Eppy died.I’ve never seen John in such a state, I don’t think I’ve ever seen George cry. Then again, I didn’t really see anything after Paul wandered into the room George and I had hidden in and told us that our manager, one of our closest friends, was dead. It could just be an elaborate fantasy my mind conjured up in some kind of fear that we were slipping away from Eppy, you know, in my subconscious, that’s probably what I thought. That’s how some dreams are made, right? Your subconscious is trying to tell you something that you’re not seeing properly.It’s all just wishful thinking. The real fantasy is that which I’ve just made up, hoping that it’s a dream.It’s true, it's all a horrible reality. I’m crying again, hoping that I might finally wake up, find myself back at home with George, lying in our bed the previous night. Nothing happens. I’m still facing the same four walls, burying my head in the same duvet that has soaked up plenty of my tears in the last few hours. Nothing has changed except George has fallen off my legs to coil up around them. He wakes with a jolt.“Richie?” His voice is gravelly and thick with pain blocking his throat.“I’m sorry, George,” I say when I’m not drawing in shallow breathes between tears, “I can’t stop…”He places his hands either side of my head, drying my tears with his thumbs. Through my welled eyes, he shakes and distorts, but his hands are still, holding me. I reach up to hold him too. He’s wearing my rings. I knew my hands felt a little lighter than usual. When I can see a bit clearer, I see red marks on his skin where he’d fallen asleep lying on the rings. I used to do that. Sometimes I still do, if I forget to take them off.“Don’t apologise.” He tells me, almost as a command, “You can cry all you like, ok?”I nod, feeling his hands on my cheeks, remaining there as I move. He presses a kiss on my forehead.We’re silent. It’s so hard to talk about something like this. If I have any idea what I want to say, I start crying so hard that I can’t form a single sentence. Otherwise, there are thoughts lingering in my mind that refuse to be said. I guess there is no point in saying them. They’re just memories. Things I wish I’d said to him. The persistent voice reminding me that I will never see Eppy again, I’ll never laugh with him or talk to him. I’ll never feel his gentle, rare, fond touch. I’ll never get his fashion advice. That thought makes me giggle out loud.“What?” George asks, half smiling himself. It must be nice to see a face that isn’t drenched in depression. He’s lying beside me now, curled up like a cat on the pillows.“I’m just… I’m going to look shit for the rest of my life.”“Why’s that?”“Because Eppy won’t be here to tell me what suit I need to wear. Without him, our fashion sense is going to go downhill.”We laugh together. We laugh hard. I guess, after all that crying, torturing ourselves in sadness, we need to laugh. I just hope Paul and John don’t hear us. We probably sound completely insane.“Did you see our Sgt Pepper’s outfits?” George chuckles, “Our fashion sense is non-existent anymore anyway.”We laugh some more. It dies down after a while until it’s just faded smiles on our rough-looking faces. I put a hand on George’s chest and he covers it with his.“I don’t really know what we’re going to do now.” I say. This is not something any of us are going to get over with any ease, but it’s the first time that we’ve all got each other to help. We’re all going through the same thing, which might bring us even closer. I really hope so.Also, I feel bad that I’m off-loading all my pain onto George. He manages to stay strong, manages to choke back tears, but he’s struggling just as much as any of us. At least I have Paul I can talk to too. Or John, if he’ll ever be ok to talk. I wonder how John is now. He’s frightening when he’s sad. Never mind when he’s angry, he’s worse when he’s upset. I wonder how Paul is as well. I wonder if they’re both sleeping downstairs. There isn’t a sound coming from down there. They might be sleeping, like we have been. I bet all the emotional shit has weighed us all down to physical fatigue. “I don’t know either.” George pipes up. I half expected him to have fallen back to sleep already. He really is like a cat, catnapping anywhere big enough to lie his long body on. And, when he wants me to stroke his hair or kiss him, he jokingly nuzzles me. “But we can’t just stop.”“Stop?”“Yeah, stop. We can’t mope around for the rest of our lives. Eppy would’ve had a right go if he found us all moping instead of planning our next song or heading out for interviews or whatever he had planned. We can cry, sure, and we can morn the fact that he’s gone, but we will have to get back to work at some point, even if it’s just so the ghost Eppy won’t shout at us from the beyond.”He’s joking, but tears threaten as though I haven’t cried enough. I turn my head away. I haven’t seen George cry properly once. I don’t want him to watch me, for the hundredth time tonight.Yeah, it is still night, I think. It’s pretty dark. I wonder what time it is.The clock says 11. Morning hasn’t turned up yet.I’m not looking forward to tomorrow. Or the next day. Or the first day back to the studio. Or seeing Eppy’s face in the newspapers, on tv, his name on every radio DJ’s lips. We probably won’t even be able to pay our respects to him at his funeral, because there will always be our fans and the press following us no matter where we go. Of course, we want what’s best for his family and what’s best is if we stay away. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “This way.” We follow Eppy as he hurries out the back door of some gig we had landed. Fans are hot on our tails. How the hell did they get out this back way? They would’ve had to rush the stage, filed through the tiny wings either side and piled through the tight back corridors so that they could follow us. And so closely! They must’ve literally trailed us as soon as we’d disappeared into the left wing.Eppy’s voice is far away, but I can see him. He’s wearing a suit that similar to ours. He looks as though he could be a part of the group, the posh Liverpudlian one, if ever there were space in our little band. Hu, that would be funny. Me the quiet one, John the smart one, Paul the cute one, Ringo the funny one and Brian the posh one.In my thoughts, I almost lose sight of him, but he’s there, his serious expression hardening as though I’m not running fast enough. Where the fuck are we going? I’m sure there’s meant to be a road around here.“Eppy! Where’s the car?” I yell at him.Then he’s actually gone. His image has melted away. The boys behind me start calling for him, asking why I’ve slowed down as they catch up to me.“I don’t know where we’re going.” I explain. They look all which ways for Eppy. They look back, they look to either of the sides, they look in front. We see nothing but the long corridor between two buildings. I guess we have to keep plodding forward.“Boys!” Eppy’s voice echoes around us. We try to work out where it’s coming from. “This way. Come on!” He sounds as though he’s getting frustrated at us.I see something at the end of the alleyway. It looks like a person. I tap John’s shoulder and alert him to it. We all assume it’s Eppy. We begin to run that way, the fans gaining on us.The only problem with that is, we seem to be heading straight into another throng of screaming girls. And we can’t stop. They’re coming from everywhere. They aren’t even real fans, they’re just people, angry people. Not just girls, genderless, emotionless beings heading straight for us. They’re everywhere. The buildings to our left and right morph into them. They encompass us, splitting us up, dragging us away. All the while I’m screaming two names.“Ringo!” Or “Eppy!”Like I said, it’s going to be a rough night. I wake up, Ringo snoring next to me the way he always does, and my body instantly tells me I need to get up. This is the first time I’ve been alone since this whole thing happened.This thing, my mind calls it. The death of a friend, merely a thing. I’ve been downplaying it from the start. That’s what causes me to sit up and dart for the bathroom. My mind is telling me that there is something I’m not dealing with that I really need to start looking at.I look at myself in the mirror. My hair is messy, my clothes are creased. Ringo’s rings have made imprints in my chest, my side and my face. I run my fingers over the small, red indents while watching my refection. My two sets of eyes stay firmly locked onto one another, my two sets of hands running down my pale body. My stomach churns. I think I’m going to be sick.My legs give way and, before anything else has registered, the cold, tiled floor smacks my bare calves. I’m lingering next to the toilet, ready for it to catch what little food remains in my body, but I don’t retch. My throat squeezes, my eyes fill with tears. Fuck! I’m crying. I’m bawling into my hands, taking the shallowest of breathes that my lungs will allow. My face burns, my lungs burn, the base of my palms that hit the floor burn, my legs burn. This is worse than being sick, because, had I emptied the content of my stomach, I would at least feel better once my body had gotten rid of it. Right now, I feel nothing. In all my pain, I’m numb.I haven’t thought of this. I didn’t consider what kind of monstrous pain I was putting myself through when trying to stay calm.My friend just fucking died and I thought I could keep it cool? Am I an idiot. It hurts now, because all those tears I choked away, forced back into my eyes have merely been saved up.They wrack me in pain that I’ve no idea how to deal with. This is how John felt. I know it. He looked exactly how I look now. He was inconsolable, wet with tears, shaken until words failed him. I cannot even think to speak. He has never been good with emotions, not sadness, he never talks about how he is. I’m as bad as that. I’m ‘the quiet one.’ I don’t even talk to Ringo the way I should. I should’ve probably let him know how shit I feel too, instead of hiding it all away, for my own peace of mind. Then it may not have hurt so bad when I cry.But I couldn’t break down when Ringo had already. If he didn’t have me holding him up, what else does he have to fall back on?This is selfish. I’m thinking of my bloody relationship with Ringo. At least that will continue. Eppy’s life has ended, dramatically, tragically, suddenly. I’m worrying about petty little problems.I miss him so much and it hasn’t even been a day without him. We weren’t meant to see him until we headed back into the studio. But his absence in his world has shaken every bit of it. I feel as though I should’ve seen him. Funny the things that death will put into your mind.I sob and sob until my eyes are red raw, sore and heavy. This grieving business is torturously hard work. I can’t fall asleep in the bathroom, or else, when Ringo wakes up, he’ll wonder where I’ve gone, he’ll ask if I’m alright.And yeah, I’m going to keep this up, the tough look, the logical, reasoned outer shell I’ve created. No matter how much I condemn it, I know of no other way to be around my Alpha. He looks after me in most situations, but he needs looking after just as much.I drag myself up off the floor, splash my face with shiver-inducingly cold water, before walking back into the dark bedroom. Ringo had flopped over onto his side. He snores loudly still, unaware of my breakdown. Good.I crawl back onto the bed, taking up position beneath his legs. It’s still very warm. The bed covers serve no purpose other than extra padding over the mattress. The pillows also prove pointless as I have Ringo to cuddle instead. His body heat may be a little too overwhelming, but I don’t care. I’m not going back to sleep and I need him right now.Eppy actually knew about me and Ringo before we even got together. He wasn’t just a handsome face behind the scenes, you know, he was a very smart man. Of course, there was his management skills, his knowledge and ability to sell us, but he also knew us all quite well. He quietly observed us, learning what we were like, how to deal with us. He got John down first, I think. He allowed John to present himself as the leader, then went on from there.But he noticed how Ringo cared for me. He noticed the small things, how close we became while John and Paul were off writing songs and all they did. He told me that he had a suspicion long before the trip when I was in heat. He saw how I took to Ringo, how I looked after him, even though he was the oldest member of the group.When we revealed to him that we were mated- he was well aware of Ringo being an Alpha- he sort of shrugged the relationship off as ‘bound to happen.’ That made me smile so wide that my mouth was stuck in that position until I went to sleep. Ringo seemed the same, with his gorgeous lips- that are, if you ask me, in the running for best lips in the Beatles against Paul- grinning at me. What Eppy was more surprised about was my being an Omega. He didn’t expect it. I always wanted to ask him if he was, because I had a sneaking suspicion that he’d hidden it like me. With all those pills he took, it’s not too much of a stretch to think that he had a stash of heat suppressants somewhere.I shiver when I think of pills. I try and move away from that thought.I, instead, try to recall all of my favourite times with Eppy. It makes me feel sad, but it’s better than feeling shit about not seeing him again. Its way better than that. The latter made me feel physically sick.While I’m away in a memory of the Cavern Club, conversing with Eppy by the side of the stage, I hear a whimper come from above me. I stay still. It’s Ringo, softly crying in his sleep.“Richie?” I say, shaking myself up.“I’m sorry, George, I can’t stop…” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Paul tells us all to group in the living room. He wants to talk to all of us. I’m not in the mood to talk, at all. I don’t know what time it is, I don’t care. I declare it too early no matter if it’s lunchtime already or if the other lot have been up for hours. I have not opened my eyes nor moved a single bone in my body since I last was able to get to sleep. I have not bothered to put on or remove items of clothing that I fell asleep in. I’m tired still, so I really don’t want to be sitting up on the sofa, surrounded my friends who all look as rough as I feel, like this is some group therapy session. This is meant to be John’s sleeping session. No one seems to have any consideration for it. Ringo is sitting in the armchair that Paul had been writing a song in last night. He’s wearing a short-sleeved shirt that’s half tucked into the pair of flared jeans hanging at his waist. His whole demeanor is off. He’s not sitting how he usually does. He usually has his legs spread open as though inviting someone in, and his arms usually rest wide too as he reclines back. He is, right now, closed and tense. He has George sitting on his closed lap, wrapping his arms around the thinner man and hugging him so close it’s like a kid with his teddy bear. George looks thoroughly uncomfortable. Not because he’s on Ringo’s lap, he just doesn’t want to be here. That makes two of us. “So, I was thinking of what we could do, since we probably won’t be able to go to Bri’s funeral.” Paul speaks so matter-of-factly, it makes my blood run cold. “I thought we could send some flowers and… well, this may seem a bit cheesy or whatever but we could each write a note with a goodbye message on it, tie it around the flower and have someone put it on his…” His voice trails off for a moment, “...grave.” I scoff, audibly. Everyone’s eyes shoot over to me. I’m sorry, but I don’t want to write some kind of ‘goodbye’ message. I just don’t. It’s hard enough for me to think that Bri is gone, but to say goodbye, to what? His grave? Pointless. And, well, I don’t want anyone reading what I’d put down. If I were to write a note of farewell, anyone with the curiosity or carelessness to have a look… I’d rather send up my prayers. “John?” Paul hisses, almost as a warning. I can’t meet his eyes. “Cheesy bullshit.” I reply. I feel as though I’m going to cry again. I dare not look in any direction where my friends might see my welled eyes. Paul speaks with gritted teeth, “John, I know you’re upset about this and you don’t usually deal with situations that well…” Fuck him. “I don’t deal with situations well? Oh because you lot are doing so good.” Tears clog my throat, yet I continue with a little cautiousness, “Crying and crying, then writing nice, little, flowery messages about how much you love Bri and want him back, that he’s never going to read, because he’s…” Well, I’ve started Ringo off. George gives me a dirty look as he buries his Alpha’s head in his chest. I roll my glossy eyes. “Serious, what’s wrong with you?” Paul yells. He darts over to put a hand on Ringo’s shoulder. It’s not my fault that he’s sensitive. “I just don’t see how writing something like this would help anything.” I shrug. Paul and George ignore me for a while. It gives me a chance to stop tearing up. When they’re not looking, I wipe my eyes with a very gentle touch so that they don’t get red and style it out by fixing my hair. I like the way my hair is at the moment. It’s easier to take care of. It’s not all heavy and long. It’s cropped, looks good messy or combed. “I would really like to do that.” Ringo’s unusually small voice peeks out from behind George. It’s like he’s directing the comment to me. “The letter thing?” “Yeah. I think it would… I’d feel better if I got it all down on paper.” “Then we’ll do it.” George promises, running his finger up Ringo’s cheek to catch the stream of tears. Paul joins in the ‘John hate club’ by giving me a look of ‘told you so.’ I sigh. “Yeah, we can do it. And if someone wants to be a selfish little dick, he doesn’t have to do it.” “Selfish?” I parrot under my breath. How am I being selfish? The trio of friends go off to find some kind of breakfast. I get several glances from each one. Only Ringo’s is a mildly acceptable one. When the other’s don’t see, he gestures for me to follow. I’m sorry Ringo, Luv, but fuck hanging out with a group of people that have no idea what I’m going through. In seeing that I’m on my own, I decide to go and get dressed. I can feel that the shitty chemical water from the pool has dried on my skin, making my legs feel sticky and dehydrated. I need a shower. Eppy, I really do… Eppy, I should’ve said a lot of other things to you… Eppy, you were… It’s a stupid idea, this note thing- if I haven’t made my opinion very clear about it. All of our notes would all say the same thing: You were the best, we’d be nothing without you, we miss you. I’m glad I don’t have to be a part of it. I stand under the hot spray of the shower, lathering up my hair with shampoo. I close my eyes and let the water run right over my face. It seems to block out everything, all the input the world constantly gives me, especially when it falls over my ears, taking away my hearing, making everything muffled. God, I could stay in here all day. Fuck writing little, pathetic notes to make us feel better by saying goodbye, I like the idea of standing in the shower, sorting my thoughts out without anything distracting me. My first thoughts are along the lines of profanity directed at Paul. He’s made me so angry. Then I’m swearing at myself. I’m such an emotional wimp. I really upset Ringo. I’m a fucking dick, (my mind neglects to accept that Paul said exactly the same thing a minute ago, and that he might be quite right.) Then I’m angry at Eppy. I can’t believe myself, but I am angry at him. How dare me leave me. How dare he go without saying goodbye. How dare he leave us all to fend for ourselves. How dare he accept that I was never going to tell him how I feel about him and die before I have the chance to pluck up the courage to do so. I get out the shower after scrubbing my skin almost red raw. Now the rest of my body knows how my eyes feel. I dress in a crappy, old, button-up shirt whose sleeves are already rolled up above the elbows. I don’t bother doing many of the buttons. It seems that all my shirt these days have ruffles down the front or floral patterns dancing over it. This one is bright purple. The trousers I pull on are equally as… psychedelic. They’re dark green with brighter shades running down the sides. Boy has this year been a colourful one. I’m about to head downstairs, when I notice a pad of paper on the table by Paul and my undisturbed bed. We have these everywhere- yet the hits get written on the back of greeting cards or serviettes taken from restaurants- and this one is void of writing so far. I guess I bought it recently and forgot to use it. Having organised my brain, there’s a few things I want to write down, nothing like one of those notes that Paul was suggesting we write, just something to get off my chest so my mind doesn’t feel so messy. Sitting on our bed, I cross one leg over the other as a desk and scrawl; I don’t want to have to say goodbye to someone else in my life, so I’m not going to say goodbye to you. I’m going to tell you write some things that I should’ve said when you were alive want you to know. It’s stupid, because I should’ve said them and I waited too long and now I’m… Words fail me. I throw the notepad back where it was, lying the pen I was using on the top. I want to go and see how everyone is downstairs, perhaps apologise. Before I leave, though, I scrawl one last thing. I know what you wanted from me and I know that I bullied fucked around with you because of who you were, but please know that I never meant anything. In fact, I... Downstairs, Ringo and Paul are sitting up at the dining table with plates of food in front of them. Neither has eaten much at all. George is slaving over the hot stove. Of course. It’s always George. I meet Paul’s gaze, warily, but he doesn’t look pissed off. He beckons me over. As I sit, George places a glass of juice by my side. I kind of feel like we’re one strange family. “I’m sorry.” I say, with a soft, apologetic smile. “It’s ok. We know you don’t mean it.” Ringo replies. “No, I really don’t. I mean, I don’t like the note idea, but it’s not stupid. If it helps you, that’s really important.” Paul reaches over to hold my hand. “I just… don’t know how to deal with this.” “Try the writing idea. You might find it helps.” Paul insists. I nod. I don’t know if I’ll actually do it yet, but I want to keep the peace in the room at the moment. George peers over his shoulder, “Hungry, John?” “Yeah.” He places in front of me, with the suave precision of a waiter, a fry up. Well, he knows how to treat us when we’re feeling like shit. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- We’re all staying very close to one another today. George and Ringo don’t want to go home and, after John’s minor outburst, he’s happier to spend the day with us, even if he does make snide comments when we talk about my note idea for Eppy’s funeral.Us all wanting to stay as a group reminds me of the start of the summer. We’d finished Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, we were planning something of a holiday for later in the month, but that never happened. We ended up straight back in the studio recording ‘All you need is love.’ After a sweltering session in there, we all were heading back here in John’s car and, on the radio, one of our songs blasted through the speakers.When we’re happy, sad, tired or hyper, we love spending time together. For a while, none of us wanted to be the Beatles anymore, but we certainly did not want to stop being… us, Paul, John, George and Ringo.We’ve had a lot of calls. George Martin called to see how we were. Alistair made a quick call too. I asked if he knew much about funeral plans and what not. He said that he’d heard nothing much and would call again when he did. I didn’t want to ask anything else, but I have so many questions. Boy do I miss Eppy. He used to make sure we knew everything. Now, at his death, we all feel as though we’re stumbling forward without his structured, strict instructions.We haven’t really been doing anything. We avoid watching the TV, because there will no doubt be the news on one of the channels and none of us can bear to hear reporters talk about such a difficult situation. Of course, we don’t have much interest in frolicking out in the bright summer sun out by the pool. We sort of sit, all in the same room, but do our own things, get lost in our own minds.I go and get properly dressed, realising that I’ve been wandering around shirtless and in my pair of swimming trunks. I feel too exposed, so I put on a long-sleeved, white shirt and a pair of smart trousers.What else is there to do?I have a little time away from everyone else and there’s a notebook on the bedside table. I might as well have a good go at writing my note. It’ll be difficult, I’ve no idea what I’m going to say other than I miss him, and thank you, but perhaps that’s all that needs to be said. John is right in that Eppy is dead now, there’s nothing we can do about it and not much we can tell him that’ll get resolved, because he’s not going to read it. However, it makes me feel better seeing this written down and organised.I pick up the pad of paper that had a pen across it and open it to the first page.Oh… there’s writing on it already. It’s not a song, it’s not written in verse. It hasn’t got a title or name. It’s John’s handwriting. I bet it’s something he doesn’t want me to read. Dutifully, I turn the page without looking.But my eyes catch the end few lines. Oh, I feel really bad because I’m tempted to look. My mind tries to fill in the blanks of what I saw: …Wanted from me and… I fucked around… who you were… In fact, I... Ok, fine, a small look. Maybe it was a note for me. Yeah, it might be. I flick over the corner back onto the written page where John’s scrawl is dotted with drops of some kind of liquid. He had a shower a little while ago. Perhaps he wrote this when he got out the shower.It looks like it’s a note to Eppy. While I’m surprised he wrote it after all the shit he gave us, my mind is distracted by what he says. ‘I know what you wanted from me’ ‘I should’ve said them and I waited too long and now I’m…’ The lack of finished thoughts unsettles me. He stops just before he says anything important. Why can’t he write them down? What is he trying to hide?I do feel sort of bad that jealousy pools in my stomach again, but I can’t help it. Eppy was a great guy, but something bothered me about him and John. That Barcelona trip. John when he came home. He was on me so quickly I couldn’t think straight and when I looked back on it, something about it really made my head spin.He arrived back home with a light tan. He was looking very handsome. He had tons of pictures he wanted to show me and he made typical John comments about every single one. Oh, he’d been there, done this. Eppy had gotten off with some hot Spanish guy who John had helped seek out. It was all one big boast because he got to go on holiday while us three remaining band members moped about back in Liverpool. I whined that I wished I had gone. He seemed to like when I did. He’d tell me about every single place the two had gone to.Then, when John and I were alone, he kissed me passionately, spending ages on my lips, rather than using my mouth as a distraction while he removed my clothes. I thought it was odd, to spend so much time romancing me rather than fucking me. Then his words whispered like a sweet nothing in my ear, “Now this was what I wanted,” made me wonder ‘instead of what?’ but I’d missed him too much to care. It was like going into heat as soon as I saw him. He didn’t let me go for the entire night.Well, I guess I didn’t think it too strange until a week or two after when it became apparent that John was avoiding our manager. Not in the sense that he’d dart into the other room or shield his eyes from the man. No, he just stopped talking to him at great length. He stopped calling him ‘queer Jew’ or all the other ‘terms of endearment’ he had so lovingly coined for Eppy. He stopped messing around with him about anything to do with liking men. I sort of assumed he’d grown out of it. Perhaps the Barcelona trip had made him a little more sensitive to matters such as this.But that wasn’t like John. It was becoming more and more obvious that he was dodging Eppy. He didn’t do more and more things that made us believe it, it was just the fact that he stuck with the ‘clean’ version of talking to Eppy, the more professional way. I think it was George who pointed it out to me.“John’s laid off Eppy a bit, hasn’t he?”“Maybe it was that trip away.”“Are you worried?”What cause did I have to be worried? I wanted to shrug it off and joke with George that maybe John had finally gotten some, but it lingered in my mind that, well, maybe he actually had.Let’s just say, my paranoid brain never got passed the idea that John may have slept with Eppy. It was just a tiny speculation that came from nowhere, but it stuck. Eppy had expressed an interest in John that he claimed was purely platonic. Unfortunately, I had it in my mind that it’s barely a step from there to having romantic feelings for someone. I mean, look at me and John. We were just friends way back when. Then I feel in love with him.Eh, my overly paranoid mind.I can’t write a letter to Eppy now, with my suspicions aroused once more. I need to clear this up with John, to find out what actually happened.I walk into the living room where everything is quiet. Ringo is filing through our black box of 7” records, sitting on a dining room chair right next to the record player. George is sitting on the cool, wooden floor by Ringo. Boy has it heat up today. He’s probably quite happy, cooling his legs down on the ground. George is one of those who must keep his body temperature at a comfortable level or else he gets very grumpy. Never talk to him (or me, in fact) about filming ‘Help!’ in Austria. We may have been so high that the whole thing was a blur, but fuck do we remember being really fucking cold. We both preferred filming in the Bahamas. It wasn’t too cold, nor too hot. We lounged around in t-shirts by golden beaches. Ah the life of rock stars.He also has a thing for sitting, cross-legged on the floor. He looks very loyal, sitting beneath Ringo like that. He peers up every so often to show a single to his Alpha. He has his own small pile between his legs. They look quite… genuine, at the moment.John, on the other hand, slumps on the same part of the sofa he’d only moved from to shower and eat breakfast. Since I don’t want to disturb Ringo and George, I hiss at John, waving my hand at him. The dining room may not be that far away from where the living room begins, but It’s far enough for them to remain oblivious as I flag down my own Alpha. Besides, George and Ringo are talking, they’re too busy to take much notice of me.When John sees me, he sighs as he drags himself up. George turns his head to see us, but thinks nothing of it. He smiles at me before kneeling up to help Ringo put on a track.“What?” John snaps as I drag him upstairs.“I want to ask you something.”“You couldn’t do it down there?”“Well, if you’re gonna get pissed off at me, I’d rather we leave them two alone. They’ve got enough trouble right now.”“And you think I don’t?” Honestly, there is no gauging John.“Look,” I sigh, “I’m going to ask you something personal, and I want you to be honest with me, which I doubt you’d do if you were with all three of us.” He doesn’t look impressed. I try to level with him. I sit back on the edge of the bed where the notepad is, open on his note. I place it on my lap. Instantly, his eyes widen and jaw hardens. “I know I shouldn’t have have read it.”“Damn fucking right, Paulie.”“But I really have to ask you, because it’s been…” My words are cut off. My throat is clogging. Fuck! I’m not going to cry. Have I not cried enough, “…killing me for years.”John knows what’s coming. He looks away from me. I shake my head apologetically.“Did you sleep with Eppy?”“The man is dead and that’s all you care about?” John criticises.I shake my head faster, “Of course that’s not all I care about! I know that Eppy is dead, I miss him like hell.” I lose my rag in an instant, my temper not frayed, but torn down the middle, “You are not the only one going through this, John! You weren’t the only one going through it when your mum died. You weren’t the only one who was friends with Stu…” I have not mentioned Stuart Stutcliff in ages. Nor has John. He looks even more distraught when I do, “… and you’re not the only one going through this, so please stop treating me like I don’t understand how you feel. It’s a fucking, rotten, grotty, stone cold drag and I don’t know how to deal with it, especially when I see you so cut up about it too.”John goes to walk out, but I leap up and grasp his wrist. As he turns, through streaming tears, I kiss him. He tastes the way he always does, he feels the way he always does, but he’s holding back and it’s strange to taste him, mixed with the saltiness of tears running between our lips. I pull back after a moment, but I do not let go of him, nor do I step back too far.“John, I’m so afraid. I don’t know what we’re going to do, I don’t know who’s going to help us, I have no idea what’s going to happen and now I’ve just got something else to worry about hanging over my head. Please... because I see you crying over him now and I wonder if you love him,” He drags away, so I panic, hastily speaking so quick my brain can’t catch up, “If you liked him, I wouldn’t blame you, I just can’t stop thinking about it. Please John! Please!”He steps back around to face me, calmly, but his face tells a different story than his actions. He’s crying. “Alpha.” He corrects, “Get that right, then calm down and I’ll tell you, alright.”It takes a while for me to get my breathing back to normal. Eppy’s death has played havoc with my reactions. I’m vulnerable and afraid and can’t think anything through quick enough to have a democratic conversation with someone who is having a go at me. We sit on the bed, John has pulled my legs over one of his thighs so mine dangle between his. He holds my head to his shoulder until I’ve calmed down.“Are you ready to listen now?” He asks. His tears haven’t gone. He sounds broken, like he’s sung twist and shout one too many times.“Yes,” I reply.“Yes, what?”“Yes, Alpha.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- I remove a 7” record from its flimsy casing and pull up the lid of the record player. Impaling the small black disc on the stand, I lift the needle arm and place it at the starting groove so that a Buddy Holly song plays softly through the speakers. George, as he’s closest, turns up the volume.Under the sound of Buddy’s tune, I look down at George and say, “How are you?”He looks up at me as though he’s confused by the question. “Hu? Me?” He mutters.“Who else would I be talking to?”Paul and John have gone upstairs. It’s the first time today that its just me and George and I have yet to see George in any other state than neutral. I’m worried about him, honestly. I mean, its normal to cry and so far, he has shed only a few tears. Even John, the self-proclaimed master of not getting emotional (which we debate as to whether he should hold that title) cried.“I’m alright.” He answers in a default tone.I raise my eyebrows. “Really?”“Yes, luv.” He idly sings a line or two from the song while sifting through the small pile of singles in his lap. His long legs are folded over one another, the records lying on his calves.I feel bad because we’re not doing anything. I half expect Paul to bound down the stairs and insist that we go to EMI to record a song or something. But I couldn’t stand seeing the studio at the moment. Just the thought of it, empty and lonely on a street we would rarely walk without our manager, makes me shuffle in my seat.I place a hand on the back of George’s neck. Every small, gentle touch makes me feel just a little better. He bows his head so that my hand curves against the scruff of his neck. I rub the delicate flesh there.“What about you?” He inquires, dropping the records in his hands and resting his palms on either of his thin thighs.“I’m… better.” I breathe. Is that bad to say? Should I be better? Should I not still be crying into my pillow up in my room. I could, if I really wanted to, but I’m happier quietly sitting listening to music.They say that if you’re in a bad mood, you should listen to happy music because it’ll make you feel better. I’m not sure that we have enough records to soothe the sick feeling in my chest every time I think of doing something other than sitting around today, but the stuff that we have seem to be a good start“Good.” George concludes.A minute later, the phone rings and he goes to pick it up.I’m left alone, the sound of static loudly buzzing as I pick another song and place it on the player. I twirl one of my rings around so that the jewelled side faces down.Once, Eppy and I were talking across his dining table in his house. It must’ve been in the winter, because it wasn’t that late, but it was pitch black outside. The windows all looked as though they had black paper stuck to them or blackout blinds covering them. The sky was so dark and covered in a layer of thick storm clouds. We’ll have rain the next day or during the early hours of the morning, I remember thinking.But it wasn’t a particularly cold evening. Eppy kept his house toasty and the food warmed my stomach. I don’t remember why we were alone, I don’t know where everyone else was. Perhaps someone else was their too. Paul, maybe. Either way, there was a time when we sat across from one another completely alone when Eppy asked me about George.“You two are very close now.”As the new-comer to the group, the one who had not been school friends or band mates with the others since my teens, my friendship with the guys was different than their group dynamic. I was in a different band, I was almost a rival, had the Beatles and Rory Storm and the Hurricanes not been so close to one another. If one of us couldn’t make a gig or what not, we’d all stand in for each other. We knew each other, we all were friends, but it’s different, you know. It’s different when you’re actually in the band, making your own music, going through everything together.And George and I got close because the other two were always running off together. While they were writing songs, or making out- though the latter, we didn’t know about until a while later- we got to hang out in stuffy hotel rooms or backstage or in the studio.“Yeah, well, you know what everyone says; its Paul and John’s band really. George and I…”“No,” Eppy cut in, “The Beatles would not be the same if it weren’t for you two. I promise you that.” Eppy was often right. I listened to him a lot. He’d got us so far, he could only take us further. At this time, we were barely scratching the very surface of fame. “But I meant that you and George…” He trailed off, “…could I ask you something, Ringo?”“Of course.”He hesitated for a moment as he looked down at his half-eaten plate of dinner. On his fork, he’d scooped up a mouthful that he was considering whether to eat now or not. But he was too polite to stuff his face while he was talking, so he let the fork go and leaned forward to have my full attention.“I mean nothing by this-“George walks back in the room and sits back down on the floor.“Who was that?” I ask.“Nat. He’s coming up to see us tomorrow. He says he’ll know about the funeral by then, so we can give him the flower or whatever we’re doing for the grave.” He replies solemnly.I run my fingers through his hair. His demeanour has changed. He doesn’t seem so calm and collected as before. “George, my luv,” I stammer, careful to seem casual so that he doesn’t get defensive, “Are you sure you’re ok?”His words fail him, so he just nods. I knot my fingers in his hair. He doesn’t respond to it. I run my hand down his back and clasp his side. He doesn’t move. I pull him towards me and he falls into my lap, burying his head there. For a moment, there is nothing, just the warmth of him against me, hugging my legs, then his breathing shallows and I feel drops of wet leak into my trousers. A sob escapes his throat. No no no… he’s crying. I feel like crying when I see him crying. Still, I stay strong and stroke his hair. I think he needs to get it all out. I do let a few tears run down my cheeks, but I don’t let on.“Georgie, it’s all ok. It’s all fine. I’ve got you.” His arms wrap around my waist.The memory of Eppy at the dinner table forms back in my mind, “I don’t mean anything by this, but do you like George? I mean in the way that John and Paul like each other. I understand that you, like John, are an Alpha.” He panicked, thinking that he may have offended me, “Not that being an Alpha makes you any more likely to want a relationship with your friend, I was just… interested.”“Um, I am an Alpha…” Was all I could manage at first. I wanted to tell him that it was fine, I didn’t think anything of his inquiry, but I didn’t quite know what to say about George. I adored him. It was around this time that I’d fallen for him, head over heels. Slowly, I formulated an answer. “He’s a beta, as you might know, which means that it’s a little bit more difficult if I were to like him… but um…”The smile creeping onto my lips told Eppy all he wanted to know, “So you do?”I was not in the least bit offended that he assumed as such. It made me happy that someone else knew so I wasn’t having to hide it from everyone.“Well, I must say, I think you both well suited to one another.”“Thanks, Eppy.”Here, as I sit comforting my little Omega, I mouth a small thank you to the sky, hoping Eppy might hear it. Thank you Eppy, because I don’t think I would’ve ever been where I am today without you, both in the band sense and here with George.I’ll also write thank you to him in the note once I get down to writing it. Mine is probably going to be so long. I have so much to say. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Paul’s words numb me. I’m so full of anger, I could burst. I need to get the fuck out of here before I slap the shit out of him. I turn to leave, taking a last look at his desperate face. That’s how I want to keep it, beautiful and all mine. I don’t want to hurt him, but boy do I want to punch something as hard as my arm can swing.But Paul’s touch chastises my urge as his fingers clasp around my wrist. He tugs me back and he kisses me, his tears spoiling his taste. I try to tug away but he has me tight, even when he ends the kiss.He waffles some panicked words that I barely hear. I want to leave, I want to cry, I want to go and break my hand punching a wall or something. Then I know I have to when he says, “I wonder if you love him,”I have to get out. I tug my arm so hard that he topples forward a bit, but catches himself. I head towards the door when his voice, in a desperate, barely coherent cry, screams, “If you liked him, I wouldn’t blame you, I just can’t stop thinking about it. Please John! Please!”All my strength and self-control cannot, for a second, hold back tears that once again mist my brown eyes. I really don’t want Paul to see me like this, but he sounds so heartbroken, so confused, scared and upset that, as per my duty as his Alpha, I cannot leave him. I take a second to clear my throat before insisting that he call me by my title. “Alpha.” My voice shakes a little. It’s nothing compared to Paul’s cracking, broken sound, so I don’t worry too much about it. Sternly, I continue, “Get that right, then calm down and I’ll tell you, alright.”I step towards him and drag him into a hug. From there, I guide him back to sit on the bed. I pull his legs over my lap and rub his back. He cries and cries, tears soaking into the ruffles on my shirt. I even feel him open his mouth and bite down gently on my collar bone to stifle the wails he cannot help but let out. I hold the back of his head, rubbing behind his ear with the tips of my fingers.Eventually, his cries are down to the occasional shallow breath with minimal tears soaking to my skin, I feel less of their fresh warmth around now.“Are you ready to listen now?” I say, clearing my throat once or twice before the full sentence comes out.“Yes,” He mutters. “Yes, what?”“Yes, Alpha.”“I didn’t sleep with Eppy, but I am going to be entirely honest with you, Paulie, because I can see how much this hurts you. I did want to sleep with Eppy.”All the air in Paul’s lungs escape as though I’ve winded him. I hold him tighter.“You have to listen why, ok?” I tell him.“Ok,” He splutters.“In Barcelona, Eppy had a rule: neither of us were to talk about any of you lot. He said he created the rule because I wouldn’t shut up about you, then he brought you up one night and, fuck, I hadn’t seen you all week, I hadn’t fucked you in longer. I was feeling so lonely without you, Paulie. You may not believe me, but this is the truth, every bit of it.”In a very hurt voice, Paul whispers, “So you wanted to sleep with him because you missed me?”“Please don’t be angry at me, Paulie. It’s not as simple as that.” He doesn’t have the energy to fight with me, so he slumps further onto me, grasping my shirt in frustration, anger and sadness. I take the hand that has a firm grasp on me and I bring it up to my lips, kissing the back of his hand. “I have to tell you everything, Paul. Please.”“Carry on.” He bleats.“Well, I was joking that Eppy had a crush on you because he kept on talking about you that night and he told me that…” I suck in a long, deep breath. It’s strangely hard for me to say, “…actually liked me and wanted to sleep with me. I said no, obviously, but I did kiss him, Paulie, because I felt bad that I’d just rejected him.”He pulls away to sit by himself, moving his legs off mine and sits straight. I turn to him, running my hands up his thighs to takes the two shaking fists balled up in his lap. He doesn’t move from my touch, so I pray he doesn’t hate me.“You kissed him?”“Yes.” I clarify. “That was me and I am so sorry, Paulie, that I ever kissed him. We were both feeling really lonely, and it wasn’t like he had someone he could go home to and fall into bed with like I had. I was his crush and I’d just rejected him. I wanted to make him feel a bit better than he seemed.”He nods. I can’t make out whether he is really angry or not. His eyes dart from side to side, running all over the room. Its infuriating because I don’t know what’s going to happen. I pray that I don’t lose my Paulie. He’s all I have. Why did Eppy have to die? He’s made me feel lost in every aspect of my life- my work and my domestic life. Getting bothered by Paul’s lack of a response, even just a look my way, I continue talking.“You said that if I liked him, you wouldn’t blame me.”His eyes find focus forward, “I just said like. Not kissing. Not an actual intimate touch.” He then looks directly at me, “We promised, after Hamburg, that we’d stay exclusive to each other.” He reminds me.“I know.” I say apologetically.“I- I don’t know how to feel, John…” He deliberately corrects himself, “Alpha.” To remind me of who I am to him. It cuts me open. “I love you and I want you and you’re my best friend and partner in writing and in relationship and it kills me to think that you would kiss someone else. I hope you know that.”“I do.”He turns silent again as he thinks for a while. A couple of times, he meets my gaze as he wonders what to do. I can’t lose him, I just can’t, but I can’t say anything in case I say something that drives him away.“I’m going to go out and buy some flowers for Eppy, ok?” We stand up in unison.“Do you want me to come with you?” I suggest. Its futile, because I know he’s going out to get away from me, but I have to try.He shakes his head, “I think I’ll ask George.”Though I feel like collapsing and begging for his love, begging for Eppy to come back and make everything ok, I follow Paul down the stairs, dutifully.Our bandmates are still over by the record player, but George isn’t sitting where he had been when I left. He has his head in Ringo’s lap, turned to the side so he’s facing the wall. Ringo his petting him like he would a cat. Both of them look as though they’d been crying. They don’t question why we look the same.“George?” Paul calls as he picks up his keys. Ringo looks confused. I walk to the sofa and curl up with a square pillow against my chest. “Do you want to come and buy the flowers? Ringo, you can come too.”George slowly peeks his head up, wiping his pink face dry. “Sure,” He says.“Do you want me to come too?” Ringo asks.“You don’t have to.”Ringo kisses George on the forehead and lets him go alone. No doubt Ringo would rather ask me what’s going on. I try to fall asleep before he can, but I’m too scared and too wired to do so. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- It’s hot. As soon as I step out of the house, I’m hit by a wall of humidity that suffocates me. I’d forgotten what a nice summer it’s been. Funny. In one moment, everything that was nice about this time of year, everything we’d be enjoying, the sun, the swimming pool, the break from the studio, all of that disappeared as though the world around us was swallowed into a sink hole and we were trapped in an empty, open plan prison, filled with depression.The sky is void of clouds, shimmering a bright blue as far as I can see, not even darkening on the horizon. London, with its pleasing skyline, sits pretty backdropped in blue. There aren’t any blaring lights from building windows, nor could you tell of the immense bustling as people pile off to work, or having their lunch break- I think it’s early afternoon by now. Everything feels calm, quiet.Of course, the roads are packed, but it is summer, late summer too, which means it’s burning hot and lots of people are on holiday. They all file into the roads in all different cars, convertibles and the occasional van, beeping at one another and complaining that heat drives people crazy.Paul and I sit in the car that boils us until we’re scarlet and shining from sweat. We haven’t said anything for much of the journey. Paul seems too unhappy, lost in his own thoughts to care for anyone else’s input, while I’m feeling a little bit sick. The car doesn’t help as it jolts across pot holes on almost every inch it rolls forward. I don’t think Paul helps either. He slams on the breaks and shoots off too fast. He’s obviously annoyed about something, but I’m busy trying to settle my stomach. The heat makes me feel like baked sewage and I don’t really want to have to try and defuse whatever situation has occurred. Paul will deal with it on his own, then he’ll want to talk.I think I’m feeling pretty uncomfortable because I’m embarrassed. I didn’t want to cry in front of Ringo, I really didn’t. But, boy did it feel nice to ignore everything, to bury my head in his lap and block out the world, even if I was bawling like a fucking kid. I felt worse when I hadn’t cried. I felt as though I was going to burst, cry out shards of glass that would cut my face. That’s what they felt like as they built up inside me, cold, sharp shards of shattered glass. Once they were out, touching the warmth that Ringo extended me, they melted down and gathered on his trousers for him to softly wipe away.Looking back at what I must’ve looked like, I probably seemed quite pathetic, balled up on my Alpha, my shoulders jumping with my jagged breaths. Ew.“Do you want a kiss?”It doesn’t register that someone is actually talking to me. I realise a second later that there might have been a sound a second ago, breaking the awkward silence hanging over our head.“Hu?” I mutter, glancing over at Paul. He’s the only one here, I guess he might’ve said something.“Do you want to kiss me?”No way I heard that right, “Nope, didn’t catch that.”“Yes, you did,” Paul insists, “I asked you if you want a kiss.”He has to be joking, but my mouth can’t form a smile. I’m too weary of the question. I note that Paul isn’t smiling. He can’t be serious. “Why would I want a kiss?”“Well, Y’know, I don’t know if you’re feeling lonely, but I am, and apparently that makes it ok to kiss someone.” He’s making a point of some kind. There’s a sarcastic tone in his voice. The only thing is, I don’t think the point should be made to me. I have no idea what he’s talking about. He doesn’t even look like he’s actually directing this to me. Then again, he is driving and his eyes are fixed on the road. He can’t exactly look at me for any length of time.“I don’t get you.”Paul glimpses me sideways, then shakes his head as though he didn’t mean for me to hear any of that. “It’s John.”“What’s John?” The car squeaks another few spaces forward. I open my window fully, though it does nothing but let more heat in.“Did you know about him and Eppy?”Well, we all had our suspicions that Eppy had a crush on John. Of course, we did. We’d see the way Eppy used to watch him, closely, laugh and joke with him, happily take insults like ‘Queer Jew’ when he would’ve scolded anyone else for using such language. But it being mutual? I always thought that John enjoyed being fancied, but didn’t have much time for anyone other than Paul. He loved flirting, in his very special, almost counter flattery way, but he always stayed loyal to Paul, as I understand it. I feel as though I’m stepping on egg shells having this conversation.“What about him and Eppy?”Paul huffs loudly, “Stop asking so many fucking questions! You know what I’m talking about.”The people in the next car pulling up beside us, hears Paul’s outburst and peers over. Their eyes say it all. The tall girl driving smiles wildly as she nudges the kid in the front passenger seat. They both look over in awe at us. Paul doesn’t look at them at all, so I feel bad and smile back, giving a small wave. Thank God, we move away from them, or else we would have had people staring at us as we yelled at each other.Sometimes, I forget who we are. We can’t just walk out on the street any more. We’re known to everyone.“I know that Eppy liked John,” I say calmly, “And I always thought the Barcelona trip was weird, but John seemed to really want you when he got back. If he’d done anything with Eppy, wouldn’t you think he wouldn’t need you as soon as he got home?”“He kissed Eppy.”Ok, this may not be what Paul wants to hear, but it is just a kiss. Don’t get me wrong, if Ringo went and kissed someone else, I would be heartbroken, feel betrayed, all that Paul probably feels now, but back in Hamburg Paul and John were mated, yet both of them fucked about with prostitutes and fans. We all did. I guess it just doesn’t seem as bad, even though the two haven’t since been with anyone except each other. Maybe I’m being too casual with this.“What a dick.” I state monotonously.“And when he told me, he made out like he was just doing Eppy a favour and because he missed me.”Well… “How do you know that he didn’t do it because of that?” I ask. I’m full of questions. Paul glances me again, with narrowed, confused eyes. He doesn’t seem as angry as he seems intrigued in what I’m saying. He doesn’t need to say anything, I know to explain myself, “Well, look, John may not be the most honest guy you’ve ever met, but if he’d admit to kissing Eppy, I don’t see the point in him making the reason up, because he knows no matter what, you’re going to be pissed off with him.”Paul considers this for a while.The traffic is moving at an acceptable pace now and we turn the corner onto a small high street lined with little shops. A supermarket store front has a whole garden picked and pampered, dressed neatly on fancy looking shelves. We look for a place to park nearby.“So, you would forgive him?” Paul eventually asks as we head down a backstreet in search for somewhere to dump the car.“Who? John?” I am totally not in the right state of mind to be having this kind of conversation. It dawns on me why we’re here, buying flowers. I really never thought I’d have to pick flowers for the death of any of my friends anytime soon. Not this decade, nor the next or the next. Still, I focus myself, “You know, I think I would, if I were you. Maybe I’m being too soft on him, but he does love you, Paul, and the fact that he told you at all shows that he’s feeling guilty about it.”“But he wouldn’t have told me had Eppy not died.”That is very true. With the car all parked up, I take off my seatbelt and open the door, scrambling to get out because, for some reason, I am incapable of doing anything with any sort of precision. My legs feel very weak.Paul walks around the front of the car and we head towards the aforementioned supermarket up this street a little, then down to the right.As we’re walking, pretty much in silence, I realise something, “Well, what if John wanted you when he got home because he felt so guilty that he wanted to prove to you that he loves you. Makes sense, right? Because John isn’t usually one to talk about how he’s feeling or what’s going on.”Paul nods his head at a weird side angle. “Maybe.”We don’t talk on the matter until we’re back in the car. The dark fabric of the seats has heated like hobs atop an oven. As soon as we close the doors and start up the engine, we wind down the windows, all four of them, to let the slightly cooler air from outside in. It barely makes much of a difference, even when we start moving.I pick the conversation back up. It’s like a distraction from the shitty situation we’re all stuck in. Then again, it’s just another shitty situation to pile on top really. “So, what are you thinking about John?”“I really don’t want to fuck up our relationship…” He says after a short hesitation, “…right now, I really need him.”I feel the same way about Ringo. Not the fucking up of our relationship, just the bit about needing him. I love him. The thought of him comforts the dull ache persisting in my body.“…but then, I don’t want to just accept what’s happened because I’m in a vulnerable position and I don’t want to be alone.” Paul continues.“Look at it this way, you won’t be alone. You’ll have me and Ringo. You’ll pick up some gorgeous girl from somewhere and fall in love with her. You’re Paul fucking McCartney. You don’t need anyone.”I see a small smile creep onto his face, which makes me smile in return.“Ok. I don’t need anyone, but I want John.”“So, if you want him, have him. If you’re willing to forgive him. But do it because you love and want him, not need him, ok?”“Alright.”We both smile out the window, catching some fans’ eyes and winking at them. We may both be feeling a bit shit, but that shouldn’t stop us making others feel good, which was the whole point in being a band, so people could get enjoyment from our music. Also, I think Paul feels a bit bad for completely ignoring the woman and kid in that car on the way to the shop.“Oh, by the way,” I say as I look back at him, “Nat’s coming tomorrow.”“Yeah?”“Yeah. He can take the flowers and notes to the funeral. I already told him about it.”“We’d better get writing those notes then.”I nod, thinking about how happy Ringo was to do the note. I wonder what he has to write. He probably has loads of ideas. Paul as well, since it was his idea. I punch him lightly on the shoulder, very fondly. “It was a nice idea of yours, mate. Ringo thinks it’ll really help him.”Paul beams back looking very handsome, bathed in the glowing sunlight, “I’m glad I could help you both.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “So… what’s up with you and-“John cuts me off immediately, “No…no don’t start with that.”“Don’t start with what?” I ask. I’m only trying to be a good friend. He looks worried and pale, fresh tears drying on his cheeks so fast due to the heat.He licks his bottom lip, then bites it softly. I think that’s one of his nervous things he does. He did it a lot in interviews when it felt uncomfortable or there wasn’t much to say. “With wanting to know what’s going on. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we’re all a bit on the depressed side of things.”I nod, knowing he wants me to leave him alone. It’s too hot inside so I stroll out to the poolside. At the very end of the garden, there is a small patch of grass running from fence to fence. It has small white daisies sprouting and reaching for the sun, to drink in every last drop of its beams. I take off my socks and shoes and go to for a walk around the small rectangular green. The strands tickle my bare feet. They’re unusually hot, but it’s not surprising. It’s very summery out here.I walk along the pool edge that’s titled with these pale blue slabs of stone. Water laps at it softly like waves at the beach would on the sand. It laps at my feet, refreshingly cold.I sort of want to swim. I shouldn’t want to, I know, but it’s such a nice day for it. And I do want a distraction, quite badly. There’s a point in which you reach with any huge change in your life when you know that you cannot change anything, so you accept it. I feel as though I’ve reached that stage far too quickly. I feel as fragile as I looked when I was sobbing into George or when he lay on me weeping, yet when I’m alone like this, I feel almost optimistic. Things will sort themselves out. It’ll be bloody difficult without Eppy…Without Eppy: we never thought we’d be without him.But we’ll get through it. We’ll miss him every day, of course. Not a doubt in my mind that I will walk into the studio and think of him every time we have to go in there. Every interview or appearance on TV, I think of him. Every time someone tells me which suit to wear or how to be in this interview or that. Every time I need a friend who knows what he’s talking about, I miss the hell out of Eppy.I strip to my boxers and sit on the pool edge with my legs hovering on the water’s surface. I remember how nice it was yesterday. It feels like it was a whole week ago since we got the news, or since that day out in the pool, but it was only yesterday.Yesterday, when my troubles really did seem so far away. I start singing Paul’s masterpiece in my head, in his voice, though, I wouldn’t dare start ruining it with my tone-deaf pitching. Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away, now it looks as though they’re here to stay, oh I believe in yesterday. Suddenly, I’m not half the man I used to be, there’s a shadow hanging over me, oh yesterday, came suddenly. Why she had to go I don’t know, she wouldn’t say… I swing my legs around in time with the music. I remember Paul talking about this bloody song for weeks, going round, asking people if they recognised the tune to make sure he hadn’t just copied someone, then it became called ‘Scrambles Eggs.’ He still calls it that now. But it’s such a good song, so much meaning to it. More meaning now that I sing it about Eppy.Feeling a little lonely, out in the sun, all by myself, I call John, “Do you want to come and paddle with me.”“Wouldn’t want to do anything with you,” John mocks, though his voice isn’t quite its usual jokey tone. Still, he tries to seem normal, “I’ve got a boyfriend, y’know.”“I only wanted a little paddle,” I continue to joke, “It won’t mean anything, that I promise yeh.” But he doesn’t find it so funny. He perches on the edge of one of the deck chairs and looks away from me. Hit a nerve, perhaps?“Is George alright?” He pipes up again a second later, “He seemed like he was crying. I haven’t see him cry-““Nor had I,” I chimed in, “But yeah, he did. I think it’s good, actually. He’s not trying to be strong.” I watch the water dance around my legs as I raise them up in front of me.“He does that for you, yeh know.”“What do you mean?”There’s something akin to a smile that pries John’s lips upwards. I have to close one of my eyes when I look at him, because the sun is directly in my line of sight.“He wants to be strong for you. Because you’re a little wimp and he should’ve been your alpha.” I know he’s only joking. We both laugh, but I’m a little astonished that John said something so… nice. That George wants to be strong for me because he knows I can be a bit… well, at a lack of a better word, wimpy. Sensitive perhaps. It also is slightly heart-breaking to think that George wants to be strong for me, as though he couldn’t cry in front of me. I feel bad. I should look after him as much as he looks after me.“You really think so?”“That you’re a wimp? Yeah,” He teases, before becoming a bit more serious again, “I really think he wants to be your strength. I mean, Paul does the same for…” His voice trails off and he shakes his head, biting his lips again.“For you?” I finish his sentence for him.“Richie, I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have Paulie, you know. He’s put up with all my bullshit over so many years. The fuck am I going to do if he…” He stops himself again.“Do you want to tell me what happened?” I suggest, but he shakes his head.“There’s no point. I fucked up, that’s it. Right now, I don’t want to write anything to Eppy, I want to write to Paul and say that I’m sorry, but I don’t know how I can.”While it does get on my nerves a bit that John has this problem with writing to Eppy, yet he’s perfectly fine to write to Paul and sort out their relationship, I try and sympathise with him instead of just getting annoyed or upset. I think he needs a friend at the moment, not someone who’ll have a go at him. There’s too much piling up on all of our minds, but John has had to go through this pain more times in his life that I think I could bare. And now, with Paul and him on the edge of breaking apart, he probably feels so delicate. Delicate for John means angry and aggressive. I don’t want him to be like that.“Why don’t you do what you’re good at and write him a song?” I propose.“Oh, that’s been done before.” He counters wearily.“Then sing him the one that you’ve already got.”“That’s cheesy.”“That’s getting your point across.”He dismisses it and we sit in silence again. A short while after, once it gets too boring, all this awkwardness between us, John stands up, removes his trousers and sits next to me, covering my hand with his.Half an hour later and the other boys are home. They show us the beautiful bunch of flowers they bought and we sit out in the sun. Someone- I think it’s George- remembers that we haven’t had lunch. He goes inside to make it. John and Paul don’t really speak, but they seem quite normal together. I hope that they are ok. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- The sun doesn’t tire of sitting in the sky, warming the blue of it until late in the evening. The house is still hot and we’re all glistening a little with sweat. It’s not, however, as unbearable as it was earlier when the sun sat at its highest in the sky, directly sending its rays to cook us like we were in one big oven. It’s actually quite a nice level of heat. Every so often, a breeze shoots in from the wide-open back doors and cools us down that little bit more. George and Ringo sit up to the dinner table hunched over pretty writing paper that they’re penning their letters to Eppy on. In one hand they hold their pens, in the other, they hold each other’s hands. Ringo looks as though he might cry again as the words from his mind that he’d wanted to say are finally coming out. George promises to be with him the whole time. He doesn’t say so, he just holds Ringo tightly and won’t let go until they’ve both finished their notes. They look so very sweet like that. I wish John and I were that keen to display our feeling to one another. We’re often not the touchy-feely type unless we’re really turned on, then we can’t keep our hands to ourselves.But I’m still considering what’s going to happen with John. I’m sort of angry at him in the sense that I can’t believe he kiss someone when we’d decided to be exclusive to each other, but George’s advice swirls in my head. I want John. Whether I feel as though I need him or not, I do want him to be mine.I feel selfish, because all I can think about is my own life, never mind the fact that one of my friends has just lost theirs, or the countless lives that will mourn him.Right, I really need to sort this out.I sit next to John on the sofa, right next to him, so that I can run my fingers through his short, fair hair. For a minute, I miss his mop top. Maybe it’s not the mass of hair that I actually miss, but the time in my life that it represents. A time of my life when I felt safety with Eppy bossing us around. He started to peel off once we stopped touring. He thought he had nothing to do, that we wouldn’t need him anymore. Has he any idea- if he is up there, watching over us- that we need him no matter what we’re doing?John lets me stroke his hair. He doesn’t move away, yet he doesn’t look at me, or lean into the hug that I’m offering. I feel as though I shouldn’t be doing this. After all, he should not be angry at me, it should be… it is the other way around. I’m just running back to what feels safe, I’m just…He drops one hand so it rests on my leg and he softly rubs his thumb back and forth over my knee. “Does this mean you don’t hate me?” He whispers.I can’t believe I’m doing this. I’m falling straight back into his arms. But I can’t help wanting to. They’re soft and safe and genuine. Right now, in this moment, I believe what he told me about Eppy, I feel his guilt and apology. I don’t quite believe I say, “Of course, I don’t.” but judging by the relief wiping across John’s face, I’m pretty sure I did say it. He goes to speak, yet no words escape his lips as they’re suddenly tightened. His eyes well with tears. I hold him tight and beg him not to hide from me. He cries into my shoulder.Ok, I want him and I need him and he needs me. I don’t care anymore, I couldn’t care less about my reservations. I don’t care if I’m letting him mistreat me, or if I’m a fool for accepting the fact that he sort of cheated on me or if the relationship is unhealthy. I wrap my arms around him, my legs curling around his waist. I’m in an odd side position like a koala or sloth attaching itself to a tree.“John,” I croon, “I believe you and I love you and I’m sorry that I got angry at you, but you know that it hurt me. I’ve loved you from the moment we first played together. I couldn’t imagine that you had kissed someone else.”“It was a mistake.” He mutters between shallow breaths. He’s careful to keep them hidden so that the other two in the room don’t know that he’s crying, “I loved Eppy, Paul, but not in the way I love you and I shouldn’t have kissed him.”“Don’t worry about it.” I insist, “I know why you did it. That’s all I can ask for. And I do believe you, my luv.” He nods, turning his head up to nuzzle my neck and shoulder. I hold him, kiss him, stroke his hair for ages, letting him cry into my shirt. “It’s all fine.” I whisper.I notice how dark it’s getting and I still haven’t written my note. I don’t want to leave writing it too late, or else I’ll be too tired and too rushed to get everything out.I tap John’s shoulder, “C’mon, let me up for a second. I’m going to write my note.”He elbows me a little, with a tear-clogged sigh, “You’re still going to do that?”I roll my eyes as I pick myself up off the sofa, heading over to where Ringo and George are. I take a sheet of the thick, almost parchment-like paper from one of the writing sets that’s open in the middle of the table and seek out a pen from one of the draws lining the room. I sit on the chair beside George.There’s something… someone missing. I look over at John who’s wiping tears away from his eyes and cheeks while styling it out as though he’s just fixing his hair.It’s worth one last try.“John.” I call. The two boys beside me look up as well, as John casts his red-eyed expression my way. “Are you sure you don’t want to come and write something. It doesn’t have to be very long and we won’t read it.” I see in my peripheral vison Ringo nodding away with a smile on his face.“Thanks, but I’m ok.” He assures us. I shake my head, wishing he wasn’t so bloody stubborn.I back down at the paper. Someone once said that the scariest thing for any writer is a blank page. For one of the first times I’ve had to stare down at a plain sheet of paper, I’m not stuck for what to write. I feel no pressure as I place down the nib of the pen and form its black ink into the words; Dear Eppy, I really am going to miss you. I’m not entirely sure how we’ll cope without your strict routines and wisdom. You are, if anyone should be, the fifth Beatle, because you made us. You helped us all achieve our dreams of having our music out there. For all the bad times we’ve ever had, knowing and working with you makes every down moment worth getting through. Thank you for being so accepting and understanding, as well. If we didn’t have you to guide us, John and I may never have been able to be together, Ringo and George may never have gotten together and we would probably not have such open minds. We all love you and thank you so much for being with us. We’re all going to miss you like hell. I’m even going to miss all the times you had a go at us, because I know you were always just trying to put us right and there wasn’t a time I can remember when you went wrong. Love from Paul. You’d think that just from writing, you couldn’t get that emotional. As a songwriter, I always assumed that, to make a piece of writing emotional, you had to put a sad-sounding tune behind meaningful words. I have been proved wrong. I’m welling up just writing this.When I’m done, I run my index finger under both eyes to catch some tears, then look to Ringo and George who have finished as well. They’re both tearing up too. We nervously, sympathetically giggle.“Think you got everything down?” George asks.“I could write pages.” Ringo says, squeezing George’s hand tighter.“I could too.” I add.Then John pipes up, “You all are right girls, you know that?”We all ignore him. He’d feel so much better if he got everything he’s thinking down in a letter, but he won’t. I’ve accepted that.“Right!” I say, deciding that we have too much to do and it’s already getting late, “George, you going to make dinner?” I get an affirmative nod from him, “Ringo, do you want to help me tie these to the flowers?”“Sure!”“John…” I glance over at him, “Will you clear this stuff away?”He sighs like a teenager who’s just been asked to do his chores, but he does them anyway. I look at my three friends, all doing something to help each other and I think, as long as we’ve got each other, everything will be alright.I think it will, even if we need some direction once in a while, I’m happy to provide it. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Christ, I never thought I could feel so relieved. With Paul’s body firmly grasped onto me, telling me that he still loves me, that he wants to be with me, I break down. I realise now that I cannot last without him. I don’t want to think about what would’ve happened had he said he didn’t want to be with me anymore.He goes to write the note for Eppy that I, of course, condemn. I still can’t see the point of it, so when he asks me if I’d like to join the little writing club consisting of 3 grown men bawling over their own words, I decline.Thank God, once they’re done, George goes to make dinner. I’m starving. I have done nothing today, but I’d happily eat a horse right now. We all decide to chance putting on the TV, avoiding any news segments we can. Any mention of The Beatles, or the word ‘manager’ or anything that might be a cutsie nickname for Eppy, we turn the channel over and sit in dead silence, pretending nothing ever happened.Through dinner and the while after that we all spend huddled in the front room, smoking cigarettes into the late night, Paul stays attached to me. He’s either lying across me, using my side as a pillow or sitting between my legs. I constantly have one hand either playing with his hair or his fingers or his neck, or stroking his skin softly, fondly, telling him how much I adore him and never want to let him go, all through my touch.Ringo and George head up to bed when the room becomes so dark that the TV screen’s blaring colour burns into our eyes. I watch them walk upstairs. George goes up first, followed closely by Ringo who keeps an encouraging hand on the small of George’s back. Oh, they are so good together, it’s sickeningly sweet how cute they look.But I’ve got my Paulie and I love him as much as George and Ringo love each other. I just don’t show it how they do. Neither does Paulie. We’re more similar than either of us would like to admit.I’m so glad I’ve got him. All this death business has once again sent me into an overactive state of remembering how fleeting life is and moments like this, quiet and gentle, are rare. I should make them less rare. I promise myself I will, while kissing Paul in his mess of hair as a promise to him too.The thoughts of mortality are too serious for the likes of me, so I run my hand down Paul’s chest, over his stomach to the waistband of his trousers. I dip my fingertips in the top, weaving them under his boxers. The touch isn’t immediately sexual, it’s meant to be comforting.He giggles lightly. “We’re going to be alright, aren’t we?” He optimistically states.“As long as I have you.” I kiss him on his perfect lips, then as a matter of habit, I lower my hand as though I’m going for his member.But he doesn’t react. I am in the mood, despite everything that’s gone on. I cautiously try my luck by undoing the top button on his trousers, making it roomier for me to fit further in. He gasps flinging his head back having not expected a touch like this. I lie him back on the sofa and lie half on top of him, half resting on the sofa. The position gives me room to touch him, which still having power and ability to reach everywhere. I kiss his neck, gracing my teeth along his Adam’s apple and sucking a bruise beside it.“Should we really be doing this?” Paul questions, though he seems to be quite into it. His voice is breathless and dreamy. I kiss up to his lips again, but don’t actually close my mouth over his.I stay close enough for my lips to brush his as I talk, “If you want to stop, let’s stop.”“No!” He cries, lifting his hips up when I remove my hand.This doesn’t feel like other times we’ve fucked. Usually it’s hot and desperate, we’re always fighting for power or there’s a lot of playing around involved. This time, it’s tender and gentle. We’re quiet and caring. We don’t look like two horny bastards who would dry hump the air in desperation. We look like lovers who need each other. There’s a lot of kind words and whispers. I tell Paul that I’ve got him, I won’t let him go, that he’s mine. He breathes ‘please,’ he holds me so that my entire body is against his, he watches every emotion that crosses my face.To be honest, it’s a little too sombre for my tastes, but I really don’t want it any other way at the moment.Paul gets on top of me and straddles my waist. As he rides me, he looks almost majestic. He’d make a groovy chick. I’m not even joking around about that. He’d be stylish and have a fucking beautiful body. His hair would be long and constantly washed and styled the exact way he wanted. He’d wear only the finest of MOD fashion with the occasional rocker leather jacket. Now that’s an image I’d happily fuck with. And it lightens the mood a little when I giggle.“What? What did I do?” Paul asks, though he doesn’t slow the rhythm he’s built up, thrusting into me.“Nothing. Only, you’re a fucking beautiful girl.”He gives me a sideways look, “The fuck are you on about? I’m trying to get off here. It’s pointless if your off in dreamland.”“Not off in dreamland.” I counter, “Just… I know that you’d be so sexy if you were a girl.”“Am I not a sexy guy?”I shrug my shoulders, then get a firm punch on my chest. “Ey, that’s not the way you treat your Alpha.” He does it again. I catch his balled-up fist on the third try. Now here’s the playing.But Paul loosens his fist in my hand, instead bending his fingers the wrong way to wrap around me. He’s not in the mood to play. Christ, can I not get a distraction from feeling like shit. To catch him off guard I thrust up into him so hard he jolts forwards and lands on my chest. I hold him tight there as I fuck him hard. He screams into my shoulder, much like I had cried on him earlier.We finish a short while after, with Paul rolling off me onto the floor.“Tired.” He proclaims.I stroke the back of his neck; my hands being tickled by his baby hairs. “Let’s go then.” I say, getting up onto my slightly weak feeling feet. Paul threads his arm around my waist as we pad upstairs. “We will be ok, won’t we?” I ask, nibbling his ear as we walk. He turns his head so to catch my lips with his. He giggles when I mistime a step and almost end up flat on my face.“Oh, fuck you.” I hiss.He steadies me “We’ll be alright if you can stop fucking about, you stupid-““Alpha?” I cut in, giving him a stern look.He bites his bottom lip, “You… stupid Alpha.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- I wake up to another boiling hot day. Ringo and I had kicked the duvet off us until it fell on the floor. I swear I didn’t go to bed completely nude, but I am now. I must’ve taken the remaining items of clothing off in my sleep. Ringo is naked too. Fuck he looks beautiful, golden skin glistening with a light tan, hair roughly splayed out on the pillow. I roll over, knowing how heavy a sleeper he is, and kiss him on the forehead. In this heat, I can’t sleep. I need a piss. I get up and hurry into the loo.Well, another day. I really feel as though I’m falling into the next one with my eyes closed, blinded, lost. I had another dream last night that we had a concert and Eppy was in the crowd, watching us with that proud grin he mustered on occasion. He watched us until a group of girls surrounded. He fell into obscurity amongst fans that layered in front of him. I thought I saw him by the door of the venue, right at the back of the room, but as quickly as he’d appeared there, he was gone. I couldn’t wake up from the dream, I couldn’t get out of it. I felt locked in my own mind. I can’t say how much I’d love to borrow someone else’s mind sometimes.Luckily, the dream fades, leaving only blurs of the most eerie moments that no longer have their effect on me.I walk back in and consider, since I feel a little cooler now, I might just get back into bed, but I hear someone downstairs. Maybe John and Paul are up already. Maybe I don’t have to make breakfast this morning. I hope someone else has taken the initiative to do so. As much as I love food, I prefer not to make it myself if I can help it.I plod down the stairs clad in a shirt that just about hides all that John and Paul really don’t need to see. Well, they’ve seen it before… it won’t be much of a surprise. They are both terrors for running around in the nude. I just prefer to be clothed around them, especially since I’ve emerged from a room where Ringo is, also naked. They might think we had sex. Not at this time. Wouldn’t that be a bit insensitive?When I get downstairs, only John is there, wearing a pair of strangely simple trousers. I thought he liked the more colourful… interesting clothes. The hippy fashion. I certainly like the bell-bottoms that are all the rage these days, but I only have two sets of clothes that I bought here. I only now realise that I haven’t been home in two days. It feels like months. It feels like I live with John and Paul. Even without the two days here, we practically all live together, whether here or at mine and Ringo’s place.John sees me as I enter the living room. He looks quite serious. He doesn’t smile how he usually does and he’s covering a sheet of paper under his arm. Finally, he’s sitting somewhere other than on the same side of that sofa. I bet that seat smells like him.“Morning.” I murmur. It’s a lot brighter down here than upstairs. I rub my eyes as they itch from the lack of use last night. It takes a moment to adjust to the light.“Morning.” John replies, then quickly moves on from morning pleasantries, “Do you know how Paul and Ringo attached your letters to the flowers?”I cock my head to the side. Why would he want to know? “Yeah, why?”“Will you show me?”It’s too early, but I’m too curious to turn him down. I nod and walk over to where the flowers are kept in a tall, glass vase. John walks over and hands me a sheet of that paper that we had all written our notes on. Looks away as I smile, because he knows what I’m thinking.“You wrote-““Yes.” He snaps. I nod, trying not smile too much. He looks very emotional. I bet he’s eating his words from earlier. I bet he felt pretty good for writing it. I wonder how long he’s been up. I heard him and Paul come up to bed. I never heard him go back.“Paul will be happy.” I tell him, quietly.He scoffs, but I can tell he doesn’t mean to. He meets my gaze almost apologetically. With his note, I roll it up, tie a ribbon around it- we’d bought these thick ribbons that matches the colours of the flowers- and tie the ribbon around the stems of the flowers in a bow.“There.” I present the finished piece as though it were a work of art.John nods. “I bet Paul will be happy.”“Are you going to tell him?”He hesitates “Yeah, I will. He’ll probably see anyway.”The two of us flick on the TV and sit in silence for much of an episode of some black and white show. Neither of us are properly watching, so I don’t really pick up on what it is.Paul comes to join us, followed shortly by Ringo, who looks a little worse for wear having woken up too early for his liking, but having found himself alone on the top floor, felt as though he should at least migrate to where we all are. He takes up the entire length of the sofa, while John and I have the two arm chairs either side and Paul goes into the kitchen to see what food we have for breakfast. What he means by that is, he’s going to look for food I can cook everyone. I try to stay quiet and convince everyone I don’t exist.John fucking ruins that by having to ask me a question as I sat, perfectly melting into the background as though I wasn’t there. “When’s Nat coming?”I manage not to glare at him, “Oh, yeah. He said early. So anytime, I guess.”John gives me a wide-eyed look, “So, why are we all still… erm, pretty undressed?”“I don’t know, John. Maybe you were planning to take a dip in the pool with your head under the water for 20 minutes.”“Fuck you, Harrison. You’ll be the one I send to the door if He turns up right now. Your fault for not saying anything.”I roll my eyes. Yeah, I should probably get dressed. I tap Ringo to see if he wants to come with me. He groans awake.“Luv, shall we go and get dressed?”“What for?”“Nat’s coming soon.”He groans again as I take his hand and help him up. John comes with us, yelling to Paul that we’ll be down in a second. Paul yells back, “Well, I’m not going to fucking open the door if he rings now!”“Don’t worry, Harrison’s got you there.” John smirks up at me. I feign a smile back. Dickhead.Having only two sets of clothes, I’m stuck with that I wore yesterday. It probably smells of sweat and tears, but I’ve nothing else. What I wore here the day before has been in a pile beside the bed and smell a hell of a lot worse. Ringo has to do the same, picking up his very old clothes, giving them a smell, then dropping them back where they were.“We haven’t been home in two days.” He observes.“I know.” I mutter. And I don’t want to go home. Home would feel too empty. Ringo feels the same. He is in no hurry to suggest we go home tonight. He just pulls on his clothes.John meets us in the hall as Paul walks up the stairs. “George, you wouldn’t mind putting something on for us, some kind of fry up or something?” The latter begs. John pleads with me with his eyes while Ringo shrugs, looking as hopeful that I’ll say yes. I cave with a muttered “Fuck you all.”“Are you going to accept that?” John asks Ringo, “He is your Omega.”“He’s got a filthy mouth, I know.” Ringo affirms. I shake my head, ignoring them both as I head to the kitchen.The doorbell rings and, I don’t know why I go straight to open it, but I do. Ringo takes over the cooking duty. On the doorstep, Nat stands, dressed in a very formal, black suit, looking as though he hasn’t slept for days. I bet I look the same.“Hi.” I say as cheerily as I can without it sounding over the top or inappropriate for the situation. I’m having to really think about what I say.“Hello, George,” He replies.“Come in.”“Thank you, but I can’t stay long. You said on the phone that you had something for the…” His volume trails off as he practically whispers “…funeral.”“Yeah, we do. Come in for a second, though. Can I get you a drink, or something to eat? I’m cooking breakfast.” He walks through the door and into the living room where John greets him and Ringo pokes his head around the kitchen doorway.“No, no, I can’t, George, you know that. But thank you.”I nod and head to get the flowers. I hold them in my hands as though they, all bundled up, are my baby. He looks at it and the small smile on his lips vanish.“Oh, they’re really nice, but we’re not allowed flowers at funerals.”Well, fuck. John and Ringo are both gaping at him. I try to catch their eyes to make them stop.He then shakes him head, “Actually, forget it. I’ll make it work somehow.”“Oh you really don’t have to go against-“He cuts me off, his smile returning, a very gracious smile, “Please, George. I’m sorry I mentioned it. They really are lovely. Brian would be so pleased.” His hand runs down to the four rolled up pieces of paper on the stem of one of the flowers. “What are these?”“Letters.” I explain, “Or notes. It was Paul’s idea. We wrote them to Eppy, everything we never got to say.”“That’s a nice idea.”He hears Paul thump down the stairs, “Oh Paul, these are great, and the notes…”His eyes light up as he counts four of them. I see John look away. “Yes, well we all had things we wanted to say to Bri.” Paul clarifies, then quietly breathes, “…all of us.” as he looks at John.“Well, he would’ve loved this. I do have to go, but I’ll make sure these get to him. Thank you very much boys.”It feels as though he’s just walked in and he hurries back out. Well, I guess he did literally just come in. He barely walked five or six steps. After seeing him out, I walk back into the living room where Paul is sitting on John’s knee, kissing him. I think I know why.I go back into the kitchen where Ringo is standing over the hob. I walk up behind him and press my body against his back. He rolls his head back onto my shoulder.“I love you a lot, you know.” I tell him.“I love you too.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Has summer been murdered already? Autumn takes the bright colours of leaves and blossoms off the trees and casts the browns and yellows onto the pavement around them. The air is colder, sending harsh breezes shooting past us, through our hair and our clothes. The city no longer bathes in humid beams of sun streaming in through clouds. The clouds now gather in thick packs. The sky poking through is rarely such a nice blue.We’re back in the wonderful world of Abbey Road, heading back to EMI studios, our home from home, ranking probably second in a list of three where we spend the majority of our time. For me, the list would go; My home with George, my home with John and Paul, Studio 2 at EMI.Yet- I think we all feel it- it feels like a stranger we knew stood here, but we never have made any effort to really know. Once, this used to be a place of creation. Now, I’m not sure what it is.The four of us get out of John’s car and stand on the pavement, facing the gates lining the building. It’s quite the cinematic moment, had we the cameras to film it. Oh, that reminds me, we’re going to be filming a new movie soon. I don’t really see much point in it other than fulfilling our contract. The other two had some kind of purpose; to propel us into further fame, to sell our albums and our image. They were pretty fun to film, as well, but by the time we’d finished ‘Help!’ the excitement of making a movie had long died off.People now know what we are and what to expect, so why another film?But I’m not really worried about the film at the moment. I’m thinking about stepping into the studio with the feeling that something is missing. By the way all four of us struggle to move towards it, I guess we all feel the same.“We’ve got to do it eventually, boys.” Paul says and leads the way. Nervously, we follow, padding up the white steps and in the narrow doorway. Well, we’re doing it. We’re going in.George Martin greets us and takes us to studio two. Immediately, John strides forward to tell him about this song he has an idea for. Paul joins in with his song idea as well. George and I hang back as we usually do. I just hope that, in all their preparation for their own penned songs, they won’t forget that George has written one too. He told them a while back. I pray that they remember him.“Feels weird, doesn’t it?” George hums out of earshot of the three walking ahead of us. He takes my arm and whispers close to my ear so that I feel his breath curling against my skin. It’s actually comforting to have him so near. I automatically clench onto his linked arm with mine.“Really weird,” I affirm, “I hope things go well.”George nods as we enter studio 2. It looks no different, but it feels wrong. I look over at my drum kit, set up in one corner. Microphones are set up all over the place. It’s looks like we never left and feels like we’ve never been in here before.“Ok boys,” George Martin grabs all of our attentions, “I think we should have a go at these two songs, alright. What were they, again? Hello Goodbye and…?”“I am the Walrus.” John states matter-of-factly.George and Paul start giggling.“C’mon John, you’re not that ugly, you don’t have to start calling yourself ‘The Walrus.’” Paul laughs, sending both me and George into hysterics.John looks deadly serious and seriously pissed off. “Fuck you lot, alright.” John spits, “Remember Yellow Submarine? Yeah, well I’m telling you that this one isn’t as ridiculous as that song, ok?” I roll my eyes. Always one to criticise what everyone calls my song. Paul actually wrote it, I took ownership of it with my fantastic delivery, I’ll have you know.He tells us the lyrics, then how he wants it played. Paul does the same with Hello Goodbye, getting a negative response from John who complains that it’s too commercial. Honestly, suddenly no one has any kind of open mind or anything nice to say. I try to keep my mouth shut, not because I’m worried what I’ll say, just because everyone seems too interested in their own opinion.We mess around trying to get the right sound for I Am the Walrus, then have a break. It’s been a while since we’ve done this and our musical stamina is a little lacking, not to mention how reluctant most of us are feeling to be back.I suggest we go up to the roof for a cigarette and some air. Paul and George join me.I light two cigarettes on the way up, one for me and one for George. Paul quips that I left him out and I said that I left his cigarette with John.“Fuck off. That prick would never do anything as thoughtful as lighting a cigarette for me unless I had one without a lighter.”He takes out his own cigarette and places it in the corner of his mouth. Seeing as I have a lighter out and ready, I light it for him. We lean on the wall out on the roof of EMI.“Well, we’re back.” George observes, smoke spilling out of his mouth, looking fucking handsome.Paul laughs softly, “Yeah, if you really want to put your name to the kind of crap we’re coming out with these days, then yeah, we’re back.”“You don’t like the stuff you two’ve written?” I ask.Paul shakes his head, “I’m just joking.” He takes a drag of his cigarette, “Feels like shit, though, without Eppy.”Thank god someone has said it. “Yeah. It feels wrong coming back here without him.”“That it does.” George agrees.“But we’ll be alright. I’m sure we will. People will eat up our shit as fast as we can produce it, so no problem there.” Paul sounds very out of character.“You make it sound like it’s all about the money.” I interject.Again, Paul shakes his head to retract the statement, “I don’t mean it like that. We’ll be ok because we’re the fucking Beatles, aren’t we? We’ll have good and bad records, but it’s what we like doing.”George and I agree. Paul finishes his cigarette first and leaves us other two alone. I kick the floor idly.“Do you really think we’ll be ok?” I ask.George hesitates before answering me, “Why wouldn’t we be?”I don’t know, but things feel wrong, things feel different. Eppy isn’t here to make things feel right. I shrug my shoulders.It’ll all be fine. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- I felt as though I was about to go on stage for the very first time again. I remember how sick I felt when I saw the amount of people waiting to hear the strange new skiffle band ‘The Quarrymen.’ I was only fifteen back then.I’m now 25 and I’m not always scared of going on stage. I love that butterflies feeling right before the curtain goes up. Of course, I haven’t done that whole concert thing for ages. Has it been a whole year yet? I don’t think so. Either way, I don’t feel so sick at the thought of playing in front of loads of people.I feel sick at the thought of going back to Abbey Road. John and I couldn’t sleep for much of the night last night because we were so nervous. I don’t know what it is about it, but Eppy is constantly in mind. Ever tumbling into the next studio session and the next, now without the direction of our manager.I’m a bit nervous to try and fill those shoes, but someone has to take some kind of control.I got John up this morning and made him breakfast. I called Ringo and George to see what time they’d get to our house. We were off down the road with a very grumpy John driving and now, we’re here, standing in front of EMI as though we’d never seen in before, as though we’re trying to catch a glimpse of that famous band who worked here. Who were they again?“We’ve got to do it eventually, boys.” I tell my three bandmates and I start to walk towards it, seeing as no one else is going to. They each follow quietly behind me.“George!” George Martin is waiting to accompany us to studio two. I greet him cheerily, before John butts in to talk about his new song. I try to get my idea across too, but he has already told me what he thinks of, what I can guarantee as a hit, Hello Goodbye. He thinks it’s too commercial and not ‘different’ enough. Not like whatever psychedelic stuff he has all planned out.Behind me, George and Ringo talk. They seem pretty nervous as well.After a couple of hours relentlessly working on John’s song, wonderfully named ‘I am the Walrus’ Ringo, George and I dip out to have a smoke. John’s still pissed off with me. When I come back on my own, he won’t talk.“Johnny…” I sing, stepping over to where he is.“What do you want?”“Are you pissed off at me because I got you up this morning?” I ask.John looks up at me with furious eyes, “I’m pissed off because you fucking laughed at my song, I’m pissed off because you have some delusion that you’ll get the A-side and I’ll be stuck with the B-side when your song is shit, and I’m pissed off because you’re trying to be Eppy and you can’t be. You can try and try, but you are not the leader, you are not our manager and you are not Eppy.”I grit my teeth, where the fuck has this come from? “I’m trying to put some order back into the band. That’s all.” I try to stay calm and quiet.John is having no diplomacy. “You’re trying to be Eppy.” He repeats.“No, I’m not!” I say, a little louder.“Yes, you fucking are,” He looks around to check that no one is here to hear this next bit, “and don’t you fucking talk to me like that. You know where you stand with me. I am your fucking Alpha, don’t forget that.”I step back a bit. I guess John is still hurting over Eppy’s death. I want to forgive him because of that, but things just stick like pins in my mind. I take a moment to organise my thoughts.“I’m not going to forget that you’re my Alpha. I love you so much, but who is going to look after the band if it’s not one of us?”“You’re not giving any of us a chance. You think you’re the only one who-“Ringo and George walk in, confused as to what all the shouting is about.“Is everything ok?” Ringo asksJohn turns away, picking up his guitar.I step forward, “Everything’s fine.” Then I add, in a slightly hushed tone, “Little domestic.”Both George and Ringo mouth “Oh.” But John loudly scoffs.I bloody well hope things will get better. This is not a great start to getting back to the studio, to recording. Everything feels very…Wrong.
11286573	Lost Toy	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "Gen", "Characters": "Kageyama Ritsu, Kageyama \"Mob\" Shigeo, Kageyama Siblings' Mother (Mob Psycho 100)", "Fandom": "モブサイコ100 \| Mob Psycho 100", "Language": "English", "Rating": "General Audiences", "author": "by sukikobold", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-24T00:00:00", "words": "1,546", "Additional Tags": "Ghosts, Brief horror, Baby esper bros, Baby's first exorcism, Family, Sibs playing together like sibs should, Hurt/Comfort", "Relationship": "Kageyama Ritsu & Kageyama \"Mob\" Shigeo", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	The soccer ball bounced with a hollow noise over the court pavement at the edge of the park. Shigeo, a small six-year-old boy, stumbled over his own feet and missed kicking it for the fifth time in a row. It rolled past him and into the grass. He apologized to his brother also for the fifth time in a row. Ritsu, younger by a year, chased after it. On a nearby park bench, their mother sat and read sleepily through the magazine she had brought. She hadn’t moved an inch since Shigeo had last looked over.“Do you want to play something else?” Shigeo asked dismally once Ritsu trotted back with the toy clasped between his hands. Ritsu shook his head.“Not ‘til you get it at least once. You said that’s what you wanted to do.”“Yeah, but-““Come on Brother, one more time!” Ritsu gave him an encouraging grin. Shigeo sighed quietly, but nodded. “O-okay…one more.”They returned to their positions, facing one another with a dozen paces between them. Ritsu bounced the ball on the pavement once and caught it.“Ready?” he asked.Shigeo nodded silently. Ritsu bounced and caught the ball again, then threw it forward. It bounced, traveling a shorter arc with each landing. Shigeo apprehensively watched it approach. Just as it reached him, he kicked. His foot landed hard and off-center and the ball shot away to the left. It bounced out of the park, across the nearby road, over the railing and into the wood sloping down from it. Shigeo winced as cracking branches and rustling leaves signaled its decent. Soon it had traveled out of earshot.“…I’m so sorry Ritsu,” Mob apologized for the sixth time, his voice fluctuating as a lump rose in his throat.“I’ve got it!”“Wh-what?”Shigeo was too slow to react as his little brother dashed to the road, checked quickly for cars, then ran across it to climb over the rail.“Ritsu, wait!” The hill was steep and Ritsu slid through the first few layers of brush and trees before he found his footing. The ground soon flattened out and the boy slowed his descent as he kept an eye out for the ball. It grew quieter as he went, and eventually all he could hear was the snap of twigs beneath his shoes.The wood ended abruptly at the blank wall of an old building. A ditch lay in front of it, as deep as Ritsu was tall, with a shallow layer of stagnant muddy water within. Floating in it was the soccer ball, speckled with bits of dirt.He climbed over the lip and slid down the dirt wall. The surface was moist and he barely caught himself on it before he hit the water. It was cold down here and reminded Ritsu of opening the refrigerator. He reached for the ball. It slipped out of his touch and rotated away on the surface of the water. After a few more tries, and one terrifying moment where he lost his grip on the wall, he caught the ball and pulled it towards him. A chill ran up his spine. Ritsu quickly scooped it out of the water and scrambled up out of the ditch. He ran back up the hill, away from the cold as quickly as he could.Climbing back up was painfully slow compared to going down, and Ritsu quickly grew tired. As he neared the steeper part towards the top of the hill, he had to rest. Ritsu sat roughly between the roots of a tree, panting. He was getting sleepy.The sound of rustling branches snapped him wide awake.“Ritsu?” came a quiet, familiar voice.Shigeo stumbled through a patch of thick brush over on his right. He caught sight of Ritsu and stopped.Ritsu pushed himself back to his feet, swaying a bit, and held out the ball with a smile. “I found it!” he announced. Shigeo wasn’t looking at it.“Who are you?” he asked.“…Huh?” Ritsu lowered his arms, his tired brain attempting to understand the question.“Leave my brother alone.”Ritsu felt pressure on his shoulder. He looked, and there was a hand. A giant, veiny hand with thick knuckles and nails that were too long. The nails dug into Ritsu’s skin through his shirt. A soft, thoughtful humming came from above him.“It’s been years since someone could see me without my say-so.” The voice was low, and old, and crackling.Ritsu tore away from the hand and fell forward, scraping his hands on the rough dirt. The ball bounced away and rolled back down the hill. He twisted around to look back up and screamed.Some…thing was floating above him. Its head looked like an old woman’s, but it was far too large and its eyes bulged out of their sockets. Dirty gray hair flew about its face and yellow-brown pupils bored down into his own. The rest of the body was a cloudy formless mass with two human claw-like hands dangling below.“Come little one,” the spirit croaked as one of the hands reached out for him, “It will be over quickly.”Ritsu couldn’t even scream again as the spirit held his gaze. He could barely breathe. Red liquid seeped over the outstretched hand.The hand vanished. The spirit’s expression of malice gave way to surprise as it looked at the empty space.“How did-”“Go away.” Shigeo’s voice was steady and…cold somehow. Ritsu didn’t like it.The spirit turned its enormous eyes to Shigeo. Its head bulged even larger as its face contorted in fury. It flew at the boy with a shriek. There was a loud noise, like a windstorm multiplied by ten, then an explosion of energy that shook the whole forest. Then silence.The spirit was gone, leaving Shigeo staring blankly at the empty air. Yet Ritsu still could not move and sat shaking with fear. After a few moments, as any five-year-old would do in this situation, he began to cry.The wailing snapped Shigeo out of his trance. He ran the remaining distance between them and fell to his knees beside his brother.“R-Ritsu? What’s wrong? Did she hurt you?” he asked, his hands up but only hovering by his brother, afraid to touch him.The boy only continued to sob and hiccup, and Shigeo swallowed as his own fears resurfaced.“It’s okay, Ritsu…” he said softly, and rose onto his knees to wrap his arms around his brother. It took some coaxing to get Ritsu to stand up and move again. Shigeo had to hold on to and help him most of the way back. His little brother was still too upset to speak, even when they finally reached the road. The shadows had lengthened since they left.“BOYS!”Shigeo jumped at the shout. Their mother stood across the street on the grass of the park, glaring in their direction. Shigeo shrunk back, while Ritsu didn’t notice and only continued to rub at his eyes.“Where were you?!” She marched forward, only to jump back as a car drove by, horn blaring. Shigeo didn’t catch what she shouted after it before running the rest of the way across.“What were you thinking?!” she scolded when she was standing in front of them. “You even crossed the street?! Shige, you at least should know better than that!”Ritsu finally noticed her presence and looked up. He blinked slowly.“Mama…” he croaked before a new onslaught of tears came. He fell forward, wrapping his arms around his mother’s legs and sobbing into them.“Ritsu?” she asked, the anger draining out of her voice. The boys had gotten in trouble enough times that a mere scolding wasn’t enough to make them cry. “What is it? What’s the matter?” She put her hands over the back of his neck.Shigeo looked down at his shoes and wrung the hem of his shirt guiltily.“Shige.”He flinched.“What happened?”“Um…I…um…”“Shigeo.”He glanced up to see her looking at him with concern.“What were you two doing?”Shigeo swallowed. “I…um…I accidentally kicked the ball across the road, and Ritsu ran to get it. And I tried to follow but I got lost and then there was a-…a spirit. A really scary one that was following him. So I told it to go away but then Ritsu started crying and I couldn’t get him to stop and…I- I’m really sorry…”Shigeo felt a hand on his head. He glanced up.“A real spirit, Shigeo?” she asked. Shigeo swallowed again and nodded. Their mother detached Ritsu from her legs so she could kneel down and reached out to pull both of them in, against her shoulders. Ritsu was still hiccupping.“Shige, no more chasing after toys if they go across the road. You got it?”He nodded into her neck.“Even if you see where it lands. It’s just a toy. It’s not worth your safety.”Another nod.“But…” Her hold tightened. “It was good of you to look after your brother. I’m glad you’re both okay.”Shigeo nodded a third time and freed one of his arms so he could wrap it over his little brother’s still shaking shoulders.
11271480	Scars	{ "Archive Warning": "Major Character Death", "Category": "Gen", "Characters": "Raven (Fire Emblem), Lucius (Fire Emblem)", "Fandom": "Fire Emblem: Rekka no Ken \| Fire Emblem: Blazing Sword", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by CherryMilkshake", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-22T00:00:00", "words": "779", "Additional Tags": "Implied Relationships, Character Death, Grief/Mourning", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	A sword pierced the winter earth under the mercenary’s feet, two large, battle-worn hands gripping the pommel so tightly the knuckles had turned white. There was a grave before him. It wasn’t ornate, having been one of the hurried sort of graves dug by hard-eyed soldiers after a battle.There wasn’t even a headstone or grave marker, just a knife’s cuts in the tree behind it, scars white against its russet bark. A name. Lucius.The war was over. The Heroes had been victorious. Raven had a new scar to show for it, but it didn’t give him pride to see it. It ran across the back of his right arm, almost wrist to elbow. Had it been won in a duel or in any other battle, he might look at it with fondness, but this was not the mark of a victor.--The scene had played in his dreams a thousand times. Raven had been defending Lucius as he threw spells at a line of enemies that seemed to have no end. They weren’t speaking, having just gotten into another fight about Raven’s plans for revenge, so they fought in silence, the sun beating relentlessly overhead.Raven had been sweating like a pig, only the rough hilt of the sword keeping it in his hand. Lucius’ spellbook seemed to be shredding, as he used up the spells on each page, the newly empty pages falling to the ground.He saw the sniper too late.Priscilla had tried to convince him later that there was nothing more he could’ve done, but what did she know? She wasn’t there.She didn’t hear the whish of the arrow cutting the air, didn’t see the look of horror that blossomed on his face as he was hit, the arrow burying itself deeply into his shoulder, turning his blue robes a dark purple.Raven spun around, the world suddenly moving sickeningly slowly. All he could think was to protect Lucius. He stood over him, battling more recklessly than he ever had before, or since.The scar was born from an enemy axe, swinging down from above, aiming for Lucius’s head. Raven tried to block with his sword, but his arms were heavy and stiff, and the axe met his arm instead.Blood was everywhere. Lucius must’ve still been alive at that point, because Raven remembered him yelling for help. The wyvern rider dropped the purple-haired thief from overhead, and he made quick work of the remaining foes, digging daggers into their sides before they even saw his face. The world was starting to spin before Priscilla rode over, tears turning her eyes red as she waved the staff over Raven’s arm again and again, while Raven ranted deliriously, telling her to heal Lucius instead. He remembered clutching his arm, standing in a pool of blood as Priscilla waved her Mend staff over the monk, but no matter how hard she concentrated, no matter how brightly the staff shone, the wound didn’t close, and Lucius’s eyes didn’t open. Lyndis and some of the Caelin knights had buried him. That stupid archer, Wil, even said some words over the grave, but soon Eliwood was hurrying them forward, putting on a brave face that only barely masked his shaken heart.Raven almost stayed behind, but the knowledge that Priscilla was going on pushed him to follow them, fingers gripping the scar that was the mark of his mistake. He lingered just long enough to carve the name into the trunk, using a dagger that was silently handed to him by the red-caped thief. Raven didn’t even know his name, but he felt a kindred spirit for just a moment, recognizing the shape of the man’s sorrow.--But the war was long over. The victors had returned to their homelands. Raven knew that, once, he would’ve been angry that Hector had a home to return to, but such rage felt hollow now. He’d told Lucius to leave him so many times, told him to stop pestering, told him to go kiss the boots of the gods he loved so much.But he'd never meant it. Not a word.With a jerk, Raven pulled the sword up and walked forward, stabbing it definitively into the head of the grave.“With you I leave my sword, my friend,” he said. “Keep it from my hands and my heart.”As he said the words, a breeze blew up, ruffling his red hair, shaking the branches of the tree overhead, and his heart did feel lighter.A smile almost played across his mouth. “Thank you, Lucius.”And the mercenary left, leaving behind his bloody past, just as his family would’ve wanted.
11240490	Life is Lovely and	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": "F/F", "Characters": "Kate Marsh, Victoria Chase, Max Caulfield, Chloe Price", "Fandom": "Life Is Strange", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Explicit", "author": "by RaijutheKakuja20", "chapters": "4/?", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-19T00:00:00", "words": "1,945", "Additional Tags": "Strap-On, explicit sexual situations", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "chasemarsh - Relationship, Victoria Chase/Kate Marsh, Kate Marsh/Victoria Chase, Pricefield - Relationship, Max Caulfied/Chloe Price", "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Victoria Chase was a take charge kind of woman. After Arcadia Bay got wrecked she moved out on her own and wound up taking Kate Marsh with her. Sweet, sweet Kate the woman she had treated like shit and eventually confessed her feelings to. It had been a few years since the storm and they'd become a couple. Things were going well except for one minor detail. Max, Chloe, Taylor, and Courtney were all varying degrees (jokingly) convinced that Victoria had corrupted Kate. That was the farthest thing from the truth! Kate had been closeted in more ways than one. For starters was gayer than a Pride Parade in California. Second, the girl was as kinky and dominant in the bedroom as much as she was pure and submissive outside of it. Which is why Vic was currently on her stomach being pounded into their mattress like a railroad spike with Kate's surprisingly strong hand around her throat. Yet Vic was still releasing audible moans and groans freely because they were alone."Kate don't you think you can slow down? Max and Chloe are gone for the day. I made sure Taylor and Courtney will keep them away.""Victoria what did I say about speaking without asking me? It seems you need a punishment." And with those words Kate's speed and force increased exponentially as she pounded Victoria's most sensitive areas even harder. Victoria was so close to her orgasm hushed could taste it.Victoria was losing her mind at Kate's pace and overall aggressive approach. As she felt her orgasm coming upon her faster than before the door to their bedroom burst open as their roommate Max Caulfield stood in the doorway frozen. Victoria attempted to speak but was cut off by Chloe's loud mouth. "Hey Max are those two rabbits in there in the bed? I need to talk to them!" Victoria once again began to speak but was cut off by Max's stutter filled response to Chloe. "Chloe they left a porn video on but I turned it off! I think we should leave now before they get back.""C'mon Max we hardly have time here alone! Hell maybe we can watch that video they had on to set the mood!" Max brought a finger to her lips as she turned around and closed the door locking it. "Listen Chloe I wouldn't feel comfortable doing it here right now. Maybe we can come back later!" As soon as the door closed Kate resumed pumping her hips causing Vic to scream in pleasure."I knew it those two tape themselves when they screwed! No wonder you look like you caught your parents screwing around! I bet poor little Kate was being used by Vicky."Victoria resolved to herself that when the other couple came back she'd make sure they realized how wrong about Kate they were. But first things first she had to get off. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- "So Mad Max how hard was Kate giving it to her? From Victoria's screams it had to be good." Chloe beamed her greatest shit eating grin at her fiancé. Max shushed her as they left the house. "C'mon Chloe leave them alone we checked on them and they're okay. Let's just leave them alone for the night.""But you have to admit I was right. I told you that was them we heard but noooo you figured they wouldn't be that horny. Well Maximus you owe me big time. I'd like to be paid all in singles for the strip club." Max swatted at Chloe's arm as they drove out of their neighborhood. "Come on Chloe you know how repressed Kate was. When she came out her family practically disowned her. Victoria was the closest one to her."Chloe smirked at Max. "But Maximus you didn't answer me. Victoria sounded like Kate was killing her. You saw so spill it."Max shook her head and finally answered. "Kate was choking her and doing it doggy style okay! There! Are you happy you damn punk. Vic seemed so embarrassed she wanted to die and Kate looked at me like she wanted me to disappear."Chloe laughed hard before answering. "Kate was super repressed as you said. But little by little Vicky has pulled her out of her shell. Remember how they went to Pride last year? Kate was proud of being gay for once. And she's being more assertive in her life just slightly more sir in the bedroom. And if I'm not mistaken she's helped Vicky mellow the fuck out. When's the last time she actually freaked out or sad some mean or fake? Though I tell you I can't wait for the others to pay up. I can't believe you, Sweet T, and Court were the only ones to take my side in the bet. Oh well let's go see a movie and give our little bunnies time alone. Though next time it'll be them catching us in the act."Chloe smirked as Max's face became a mixture of anger, arousal, and shock. It was gonna be so much fun living together with Kate and the others. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Kate's hips were pumping harder and harder into Victoria's body. Her hand was firm yet gentle around her girlfriend's throat. Vic's moans and groans were louder than than they had been before they were interrupted by Max and Chloe. Victoria gripped the sheets tighter and tighter as she began to scream Kate's name."Katie please keep going I'm so close to going over the edge. I'm...". Victoria bit her knuckles as she orgasmed to keep quiet as if she hadn't been making noise before. She fell onto the bed in a spent heap shivering with a jolt as Kate gave her one last thrust before pulling out.Kate tossed the strap-on onto the dresser to be cleaned later. She laid down beside Victoria stroking her stomach and her head while whispering into her ear. "Just relax babe okay. The door is locked this time so you can relax okay."Victoria relaxed fully laying back into Kate's embrace. Kate felt at peace completely until Victoria spoke."So listen I've been thinking. Maybe we should go contact your sisters to come to the wedding. They're both over 18 now so your parents can't say shit else. Hell Lynn already moved out and Sarah is going to college soon. I think....". Victoria was cut off by Kate's tearful response."Vic you know I want to but I don't want to screw them over. My parents threatened to cut them off if I contacted them or vice versa. I don't want to hurt their lives by doing that to them." Kate broke down into tears as her pain overtook her. Suddenly she was the little spoon and Vic was the one consoling her.Kate flashed back to the day she came out to her parents. It was graduation day and things had gone so well. Until dinner. Kate's parents had been so happy until Kate tearfully announced she was gay and that she was dating Victoria. They lost their collective shit and screamed she was wrong and that Victoria had corrupted her. That all she needed was prayer, conversion therapy, and repentance. Their reaction to her statement that she had prayed over it and that she'd met other religious people of other faiths who believed nothing was wrong about same sex love was nuclear. They'd disowned her on the spot and asked for an address to send all her stuff. Victoria's parents automatically gave their address while warning the Marshes to stay away from Kate. And so they'd left taking away Kate's crying and screaming sisters. Kate was roused from her painful memory as her soon to be wife spoke."Listen babe I have something to tell you. Fuck your parents and your asshole relatives and everything they stand for. They disowned you for loving me not because I hurt you but because I'm a woman. They threatened your sisters to keep control over them. And I'm happy to report that shit didn't work. Lynn and Sarah have exchanged emails with me and they wanna call you in the morning. Look babe it's been seven years alright. If your family can't accept you being gay in 2021 they can eat shit and die. You have a new family okay. You have me, Max, Chloe, Taylor, Courtney, and so many others. We have your back for now and always."As she said this Vic stood up and walked over to the dresser and checked her phone. She burst out laughing before grabbing the strap-on and returning to bed. "So it seems they won't be back until late babe. That means I can get you off. If that's ok...". Victoria was cut off as Kate kissed her while simultaneously helping her put on the toy. Kate laid back on the bed and pulled Victoria on top of her. As she this this Victoria inserted the strap-on and after a few short weeks thrusts was in her familiar rhythm.Kate let go of her pain as her fiancé gave her so much pleasure. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Chloe was trying her damned hardest not to scream. Vic and Kat were in the den watching tv. Her girlfriend Max Caulfield was in between her legs eating her out. Chloe had meant when she said Max was the best at eating pussy. Of course her use of dirty slang made Max mad but it was true. The girl had brain like a rocket scientist.Choe's fingers were tangled in Max's hair. Or what was left of it. Six months after leaving Arcadia and moving in with Victoria and Kate she took a pair of clippers to it and shaved it into an undercut and dyed it hot pink. Things had gotten better from then on. The three Blackwell students graduated and got into good schools. Chloe got her GED and was working at a tattoo shop. Life was good.Which brought Chloe back to the present moment. She was on her back bucking her hips like an unbroken bronco. When they had started sleeping together Max had been so shy to be open with her desire. Chloe had taken many steps to make sure Max knew she could let go. And so she had. Max was probably more sexual than Chloe! They would be out in public and Max would cop a feel, slip her hands in Chloe's clothes, whisper sweet nothings in her ear to turn her on; anything to turn her on.Hell their current predicament was because of Max. They soaked together in the tub and talked until the water turned cold. Then when they had laid in bed to watch a movie Chloe dozed off. Only to wake up to Max in between her legs and Kate and Victoria in the living room relaxing.Chloe refused to let Vic see her like this. Both women had settled into a friendly rivalry where both would taunt the other about tainting their significant other. Victoria was telling the truth about not doing it and Chloe Elizabeth Price would be damned if Victoria knew just how similar their relationships were.Chloe started to moan loudly but bit her knuckles as she reached her orgasm. As Chloe came down she heard a knock on the door. "Goddamn it Caulfield if you're going to eat your punk out at least wait until we leave damn it!!!" Chloe's face turned red especially as Max looked at her from between her legs with the biggest shit eating grin Chloe had ever seen. Chloe was going to have it hard trying to convince Victoria she'd heard wrong.
11243226	Are you what they say	{ "Archive Warning": "Graphic Depictions Of Violence", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Kurusu Akira, Sakamoto Ryuji, Morgana (Persona 5), Takamaki Ann, Akechi Goro, Okumura Haru, Kitagawa Yusuke, Suzui Shiho, Mishima Yuuki, Sakura Futaba, Niijima Makoto, Niijima Sae, Iwai Munehisa, Kaneshiro Junya, Kamoshida Suguru", "Fandom": "Persona 5", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Mature", "author": "by SweetbunThorn", "chapters": "10/10", "completed": "2017-07-09", "published": "2017-06-19T00:00:00", "words": "17,076", "Additional Tags": "Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Bounty Hunter Akira, Werecat Morgana, Werewolf Ryuji, chapter 8 caused this rating to jump, Character Death, Implied/Referenced Torture", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "Kurusu Akira/Sakamoto Ryuji, Persona 5 Protagonist/Sakamoto Ryuji", "Series": "AYWTSYA?", "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	"I have a bounty for you." "Such a high price for a man. Am I allowed to ask why the high amount?" "He... slaughtered my servants and I caught him in the act. He ran away after that and I have no idea where he is." "So you're paying me to go find him?" "Aren't you the most successful bounty hunter this side of the seven kingdoms?" "Stroking my ego?" "Do this for me and you get to keep his bounty. All of his bounty." "... You have a deal." "I can't believe you took on something like this."Akira looked down to the white footed panther running along beside him and his horse. "It was an impressive amount.""Did you not hear what he said? He slaughtered all of his servants in one night. One night!""Morgana, please. It's not like you to reject a bounty.""I like living Akira!"Akira shook his head and looked back at the slowly retreating shapes of Kamoshida's kingdom. To put a bounty on a man like Sakamoto is understandable, but to make it that high? Surely, other hunters have attempted to take the bounty for themselves. That price could cause even a farmer to make an attempt at it, yet there had been no record of a successful catch. Akira sighed and directed his gaze toward towards the midnight forest that quickly approached. The black-haired hunter pulled back on the reins of the stallion, who reared back and stood still, Morgana came to a stop besides them."We'll stop here for tonight. I'm not traveling into the Midnight Forest at night. I don't want to fight Werewolves.""Fine by me." Morgana stretched before laying on the ground.Akira sat beside him and made a fire pit; the stallion lay nearby, already asleep."You over worked Arsene." Morgana said."I know. I won't push him so hard come tomorrow." Akira reached into his pocket and unfolded the bounty paper. Ryuji Sakamoto Dead or Alive Reward: 5 million worth in gold and jewels Akira's eyes fell to the picture they used for him. Flatten, black, short hair with brown eyes that felt like they were staring deep into the hunter's soul. The hair framed the handsome face it was attached to and Akira started to wonder if Sakamoto was really the mass murderer Kamoshida made him out to be. He pocketed the bounty, snuffed out the fire, and laid down to sleep. Morning brought the trio to the outskirts of Madarame's Kingdom, Akira watched as various people and creatures roamed the beautiful area in high suits and gowns. He and Morgana tended to avoid the beautiful kingdom, they seeked anything worth creating and destroyed anything that wasn't beautiful enough like them. Akira was happy never to enter the Musuem Kingdom ever again, ever since he had convinced Yusuke to leave the terrible place.The trek through the various kingdom took days, each town that Morgana and Akira visited yielded the same results. No one had heard or seen of Ryuji Sakamoto and as the days went by, Akira felt his confidence waver in return. Eventually, the edge of a port village came into view and Morgana let out a happy sounding purr as he breathed in the smell of fish. The black haired man urged Akira to spur Arsene faster, fueled by the images of eating various fish. The hunter shook his head and urged the black stallion into gallop, passing a small house on the outskirts in the process. Akira slowed the horse to a stop and leapt off the saddle, directing the stallion around the village as he looked for an inn.Morgana jumped off and transformed, stretching out his weary arms as he turned to follow the hunter. Akira looked back at the werecat, watching as the fluffy haired male straightened out his golden and black waistcoat, fixed his silver and red sash, and brushed invisible dust off his black pants and dark blue boots. Morgana's sheathed scimitar bounced off his leg, red, black and silver handle glistening in the sun, as he walked over to where Akira stood. Most of the villagers had taken note of the two black haired newcomers as the walked towards the inn.Akira handed Arsene's reins to the werecat. "Go and get a room for us. I'm going to look around and see if any recognizes Sakamoto's bounty."Morgana look at him, disappointment clearing showing in his bright blue eyes. "But my fish...""I'll buy some for you later.""Including fatty tuna?""Including fatty tuna."Morgana smiled, showing off his set of sharpen canines and lead Arsene to the inn. Akira stuffed his hands in his pockets and casually walked towards the port, perhaps some sailors or fishermen had seen Sakamoto. Akira pulled out the bounty poster and approached an elderly fisherman."Have you seen this man?"The elder stared at the picture and rubbed at his gray beard. "Can't say that I have. What's he in for?""Well-""Hey, Old man Floe! Gotta net full of Dragon Trout for you!"Akira and the old man directed their attention towards the approaching white and dark green hooded vest wearing man. The hooded man was carrying two sets of full and dripping wooden boxes and had a net full of the thick scaled fish tied to his hip. The man set down the boxes and untied the net and Akira took the time to fully take in the mysterious man. Dark gray sailor pants clung loosely to thin hips with only a silver and golden dragon skin belt holding it up. Long black wristbands and black armbands clung to the man's muscular arms as he reached up to pull the hood off his head. Akira's eyes snapped to the blond hair of the man and the small scar on his cheek. Warm brown eyes greeted him as the man turned to look at him and Akira felt that the eyes were staring deep into his soul."Why 'ello there, Kidd. Fish swimmin' good today?"Brown eyes snapped back to the old fisherman. "Yeah. They were practically jumpin' into my boat!""Now, son, how much I owe you for the fish?""It's free, old man.""Well that ain't right. You went to all that trouble to get them for me so I at least owe you somethin'."Kidd rubbed the back of his neck and chuckled, Akira felt his stomach tighten at the sound."Whatever you think is best."Floe reached into the worn satchel at his hip and pulled out fifteen gold marks and ten silver marks before putting them in Kidd's outstretched hand."Thanks again, Kidd!""No problem, Old man."Akira watched as the blond pocketed the money, picked up the crates, and walked further into the market place."Now what were we talking about, sonny?"Akira directed his attention back to Floe. "Uh..." He pocked the bounty. "Who's Kidd?""The Innkeeper found him hobbling his way into town. He looked mighty beaten up, clothes were torn and he was bleeding somethin' fierce and his left leg was bent outta shape. He collapsed before she could get to him and the village elders decided to nurse him back to health. He got terribly sick at the start and almost attacked one of the elder's in a feverish haze, yet they continued to help him. He's been here for roughly a year after that, keeps himself busy with fishin' and whatnot."He lives on the outskirts of town despite Tomoe tellin' him he could stay at the inn." The fisherman rubbed at his beard. "An odd one he is though. Every time we ask him about where he's from, he clams up. We eventually learn to stop askin'."Akira looked in the directed Kidd had gone, steel gray eyes trying to catch a hint of yellow through the crowd."Now, sonny."The hunter directed his attention back to the elder."Why are you askin' about him?""Just curious is all." Akira lied somewhat. "He looks like someone I know." ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- "We finally have a lead." Akira said upon opening the door to the rented room.He paused in the doorway, taking in the lighting orbs that floated slowly above the pair of wool covered beds. Thick set red-orange colored wood decorated the interior layout of the room while various pictures of sunests, snowfall, and forests hung off the walls. Looking to his left, Akira could see the bathroom, marbled slabs of red-orange lined the wall. A large white marble tub sat in the center of the fairly large restroom. Above the tub hung Morgana's waistcoat and from the fog on the mirror, Akira could tell that the werecat had bathed. The hunter made a mental note to do the same as Morgana spoke up."Oh? What would that be?" Akira threw a couple of bought, packed fish on the werecat's bed. Morgana completely abandoned polishing his sword and sank his fangs into one of the airborn fish. The hunter sat down in one of the chairs and ran his fingers through his hair."There might be a survivor of the Castle Massacre.""Hmm?" Morgana swallowed the remains of his fish. "How do you know?""There's someone in the village. His name is Kidd and according to one of the people I talked to, he refuses to talk about his past. He's been here for a year.""So?" Morgana threw away the bones from the rest of the fish. "That could mean anything.""I know, but I have to at least ask."The werecat sighed and flopped down on the bed. "So you're taking a gamble?""Yeah.""...Well I trust your judgement, Joker."Akira walked up the steps to the small gray brick cottage and knocked heavily on the fine oak door. He waited a few seconds and took a look around. Various plants of shapes and sized stretched around and encased the small house, giving it a natural camouflage from any unwanted eyes. Akira probably would've missed it, if not for the directions from the Innkeeper. Kidd had yet to answer the door, so the hunter knocked again, louder this time. He stuffed his hands in his pockets just as a muffled thud could be heard from inside the cottage.Akira listened to the sound of rushing footsteps approaching as the door was flung open. Kidd stood in the doorway, bare chest rapidly rising and falling from his run."Did I wake you?""Nah." Kidd frowned slightly as his brown eyes focused on the hunter. "Wait... You're that guy from earlier. What's up?""I've got something to ask you. Do you mind if I come in?""Huh? Oh! Not at all." Kidd stepped aside and Akira walked into the cottage.The small house was quaint, warm and simple. There wasn't really anything in the way of decorations from what Akira could see until he turned the corner into the living room. Apart from the various amounts of birch tree furniture, bones of fish the man had caught hung all around the room. Akira approached one of the bones and looked at the picture connected to the plaque along with the name of the fish. Harlen Dragon Quake the name plate read and the hunter's steel gray eyes widened up seeing the name. His eyes snapped to the picture of Kidd smiling and holding up the head of the defeated monstrous titan fish, besides the blond stood Floe and the Innkeeper. "You caught and killed a Dragon Quake?" Akira asked, still staring at the massive size of the bones and sharp toothed head."Yeah!" Kidd's voice rang our from a different room. "The asshole was a bitch to kill. It was terrorizin' the village for years before I killed it. The meat's pretty tasty if you drench the sucker in honey cinnamon wine.""Hmm." Akira looked around for anything else that wasn't fish related and was surprised to see how barren the rest of the cottage was. Apparently, Kidd didn't need much in the way of luxury and need or wants. "So, you wanted to ask me somethin'?"Akira jumped slightly and turned to see Kidd sitting down in one of the chairs, his white and dark green hooded vest was on and a pair of drinks were set on the table. The hunter sat on the couch and took a drink. "Forgive me if I bring up something foul, Kidd.""What?""I heard from Floe that you stumbled into the Village a year ago.""Yeah. And?"Akira had to bit his tongue so that he didn't correct the blond's rude way of speaking "A year ago, a nightly massacre of servants occurred in the Castle Kingdom cause by Ryuji Sakamoto. I was commissioned by Lord Kamoshida to find him and bring him back alive and I believe-"The hunter turned his gaze on the man who sat frozen in his seat, white knuckled grip on the arm rests. Akira took in the blond's ridged form before honing in on widen brown eyes. There wasn't a hint of fear in the chocolate colored orbs but rather a fight or flight response."I believe..."Brown eyes snapped to steel ones and Akira felt them stare deep into his soul. Something dawned on the hunter and he mentally slapped himself for not noticing earlier."I believe you're Ryuji Sakamoto."The effect was immediate and Ki-Sakamoto was up in a flash, back flipping over the chair just as Akira threw his dagger at him. The hunter pulled the weapon free from the chair as the blond bolted out of the house. Akira quickly followed after him, just barely managing to pull his other dagger out of the hidden sheath to block the downward force of the chronium made warhammer coming at his face. The shaggy haired man hit the ground hard, arms straining against Sakamoto's strength as the blond continued to push down."I ain't going back!" He yells."Too afraid to meet the gallows?" Akira teased as he looked for an opening."That ain't it! Of course that piece of shit doesn't tell you the actual truth!"Akira throws both of his legs upwards, dislodging the warhammer and flinging it skyward. Sakamoto quickly jumps back, narrowly avoiding a slash from one of the daggers. The blond grabs the still airborne hammer and rushes towards the hunter, bringing down the spiked head of the mallet on where Akira was. The black-haired man rolls away and flings one of his weapons, which Sakamoto knocks away swiftly."What do you mean by actual truth?" Akira askes, hoping to distract Sakamoto long enough to switch settings on his other dagger.He gets a different type of reaction as the blond's body freezes and his grip on the silver colored warhammer falters slightly. Brown eyes gaze over and his body hunches slightly, Akira knows he must've triggered a dark memory for the blond."I... You don't wanna kn-"Akira rushes forward and tackles Sakamoto to the ground, the two roll for a few seconds until Akira's able to pin the blond man down."You asshole!" Sakamoto snaps, showing off slowly sharpening canines.Akira makes a noise of surprise and looses his grip slightly, Sakamoto throws him off and makes a grab for his weapon. The blond slips the hammer onto his back and takes off in a run towards the village. Akira picks up his discarded dagger and follows after. He catches up, only to find Sakamoto leaning up against a tree with his head bowed and warhammer attached to his back. Akira approaches him slowly, daggers still out in case the blond has any fight left in him."I'll-I'll go with you."Akira stops a few feet from the man. "What?""Just promise me that... they won't get hurt in any way."The hunter looks from him over to the village below. "I promise."Sakamoto rubs the back of his head and hold out his arm. Akira sheaths his daggers and pulls out a pair of golden bracelets from the sack at his hip. He slips one of the bracelets onto the blond's arm and watches as it locks around the wristband, glowing green symbols appeared on the band. Akira puts the other one onto his wrist and backs away from the blond, Sakamoto follows him without a word and the pair make their back to the village. Sakamoto shoves his arms into his pants pockets, making sure that the bracelet is hidden from the residents. Akira leads him to the inn, where the blond has a small chat with the Innkeeper before follwing the hunter to his room."Hey, how did-" Morgana pauses upon seeing the blond trailing behind Akira. "...You actually found him!?""Keep your voice down, Morgana." Akira closes the door behind them and Sakamoto dumps his hammer on the floor before slumping down into one of the chairs."So, what next?" He mutters."First," Morgana answers, "You take a shower, cause you stink something fierce! Then tomorrow, we're leaving.""You stink too, you dumb cat!" Sakamoto snaps."I'm not a cat and I smell better than you!""Hey!" Akira's yelling snaps Morgana and Sakamoto out of their argument. "Sakamoto, go ahead and bathe. Morgana, go and wash his clothes."Both men open up their mouths to try and retort only to snap it shut once Akira levels a glare at both of them. Sakamoto strips quickly and makes a beeline for the bathroom and Morgana picks up the discarded clothes and belts out the door. Akira sighs and leans against the wall, listening to the sound of running water before it stops."Hey, Sakamoto."No answer."Saka-""Ryuji." Akira almost misses the muffled response. "What?""Call me Ryuji."Ryuji... I'm sorry for bringing up your past earlier during the fight. It was a dirty move.""Hell yeah it was."Akira rubbed at the back of his neck. "I-""How did you know it was me?""What? Oh. Uh... Your eyes.""My eyes...?""Yeah." Akira coughs into his hand to hide his embarrassment. A short laugh, "That sounds corny as hell."Akira couldn't help but agree with him. The two stayed silent after that until Morgana came back with the blond's clothes. Afterwards, the trio had settled down for bed; although Ryuji had stayed up, staring down into the village. Morning came and Morgana and Akira had packed up their things and left the inn with Ryuji following behind."Leavin', Kidd?" Old man Floe greets them at the gate."Yeah. These guys need my help with somethin'." Ryuji lies with a smile."Plannin' on comin' back once you're finished? I still need my first mate."Ryuji chuckles, "Wait for me then, alright?"Floe lets out a wheezing laugh, "Alight. See ya, Kidd.""See ya, Old man." Floe waves as he walks away, Ryuji returns the wave until he's out of sight. The blond weights a few seconds before turning to Akira and Morgana."Time to face the gallows..." ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- "We could stop here." Morgana said, holding up the map and walking besides the slow moving stallion."That's too close to the city." Akira countered. "Too many bounty hunters. They'll take one look at the Containment Bracelet on Ryuji's wrist and try to take him."Akira felt Ryuji flinch slightly behind him and turned his attention to the blond, only to be met with the back of his hooded vest. Ryuji had been quiet since they had left the port village, the man seemed to be regretting his decision, but never made a run for it. Although he couldn't, not with the other end of the bracelet on attached firmly to Akira's wrist. The fluffy haired man watched as Ryuji fiddled with the glowing accessory. Every time the blond moved his arm too far, a thin and faint green line appeared as a warning for the distance."Well, we got to stop somewhere. That village didn't have much in the way of supplies." Morgana said, grabbing Akira's attention once more.Akira looked at the map, he could see the faint pencil marks the werecat had left during the years of their hunts. He could see the name of the port village and how far it sat away from the rest of the Cruiser Kingdom. Akira saw the place Morgana had suggested, it was another city, but not as big as the ones that littered the outer walls of Cruiser. He looked elsewhere, eyes snapping to Dragonfire Falls and the hot springs that sat at the bottom of the dragon infested mountains range. The falls served as the border between the Casino Kingdom and the Cruiser Kingdom as well as neutral grounds. Hardly any fighting ever happened there, out of fear that Iwai would fly down from his perch and roast the fighters alive."What about there?" Akira pointed to the hot springs."At Karyuu?!" Morgana exclaimed."Yeah. Iwai's awake and the place is normally empty when he's up.""We're stayin' at some hot springs?" Ryuji asks as Morgana pockets the map."Is that a problem?" Akira responds."Nah... Can I get my own room?""No." Morgana answers for the black haired hunter. "Those Containment Bracelets have a range and even if they didn't, you still wouldn't get your own room. You're a criminal."Ryuji goes back to being silent after that, Akira gave a glance at the blond man just a cry for help is heard. The hunter spurs Arsene into a full gallop and Morgana shifts into his panther form, Ryuji manages to turn around before the stallion reaches his full speed. They quickly approached an elderly couple, with a toppled wagon behind them, being surrounded by a: minotaur, chimera, and a human."Hand over all the goods, old man." The chimera says. "Unless you don't mind getting poisoned." The snake-head tail snapped it's jaws to emphasize.The old man gently pushes his wife back and the pair back up. "I refuse." He says."Hear that, Tentarafoo?" The human looks over at the towering creature."Looks like you forfeited your life, old man." Tentarafoo lifted up his ax. "But look at the bright side, you get to die with your wife.Ryuji jumped off of Arsene and slammed the four pronged side of his warhammer onto the minotaur's head, knocking Tentarafoo off balance. Morgana rushes forward and grabs the goat's horns of the chimera and flipped it on it's back. The human hardly has time to react, bringing up their cutlass just in time to block Akira's daggers coming down. Arsene guards the old couple, gray mane and tail glowing bright red and orange as a warning.Tentarafoo turned to glare at Ryuji as he landed on the ground. "Freila, Kouga, deal with your pests. I got this one."Morgana barely managed to get away from the snake head before being grabbed by the lion head and thrown into a nearby tree. The werecat shook his head and tried to regain his footing as Kouga approached him. The chimera rushed forwards, goat head slamming into Morgana's chest and keeping him pinned to the tree. Freila kicked Akira square in the stomach, causing the hunter to roll a few feet away and nearly avoided the second cutlass the thief had drawn. Tentarafoo stung his ax down at Ryuji, who brought his warhammer up to counter. The metal weapons collided with each other, causing a loud clanging sound to echo throughout the field.Morgana planted his hindlegs on Kouga's chest and shoved him off, causing the creature to fall backwards. The werecat transformed into a more humanoid version and grabbed Kouga by his tail, flinging him into the tree and caused it to topple over. The two headed beast rushed forward, claws unsheathed and outstretched, as he threw his weight onto Morgana. The black and white panther held his ground and threw the beast onto the ground. He switched over to his animal form and pounced on Kouga, clawing out lumps of fur as the creature struggled under him. The snake-head tail wrapped around Morgana's leg and slammed him into the ground over and over again. Morgana dizzily switched forms to humanoid and grabbed onto the chimera's horns.He pulled hard, causing the goat head to follow him and the tail to release its grip on the werecat's leg. The bicolored feline landed squarely on Kouga's back and continued to pull until the horns snapped off. The chimera let out a blood-curling yell as blood began flowing from the broken horns, he shook off Morgana and ran away. The werecat panted and threw the bloodied horns onto the ground, he sat on the ground and transformed into a human. His blue eyes locked onto Akira and Freila, the two humans were blocking slice after slice of their bladed weapons. Akira had the upper hand, daggers glowing an electrifying yellow as he dodged another sword swing. Freila brought one of the cutlass' down, which the hunter blocked and countered with slash of his own.The dagger hit skin, sending wave after wave of electricity through the thief's body. Akira kicked Friela, sending them to the ground, writhing in place. Akira pocketed his daggers, knowing how long the thief would be stuck like that, and turned towards Morgana. The werecat pointed to where Ryuji and Tentarafoo were trading blow after blow. The minotaur was panting, bare skin bruised and bleeding from where Ryuji had gotten a couple of lucky hits in. Ryuji was panting as well, clothes torn and covered in blood, his brown eyes were now a bright and burning yellow as he wiped the sweat off his brow. Tentarafoo quickly swung his ax to the side, which Ryuji barely managed to block in time, and sent the blond man skidding to the side. Ryuji regains his composure and rapidly glanced around for the now missing minotaur."Ryuji! Above you!" Akira and Morgana yell out.The blond manages to bring his warhammer up in time to block Tentarafoo's ax hit. The hit's strong enough to disrupt the air around them as Ryuji's arms strain against the strength of the minotaur. Akira watches as Ryuji's right leg gives out and his back hits the ground. Tentarafoo's hooved foot slams down into Ryuji's stomach and the blond's grip falters completely. Akira rushes forward and jumps on the minotaur's back, immediately putting his arms around Tentarafoo's neck in a headlock. The beast chokes and staggers back, he drops his ax and makes a grab for Akira. Ryuji gets to his feet, although he drops slightly as his right leg makes contact with with ground, and slams the warhammer square into the creature's stomach.Akira jumps off and lands next to Ryuji as Tentarafoo lands a good distance away. The blond plants his hammer down and leans heavily on it, face scrunching in pain. Akira gives him a concerned look just as Tentarafoo struggles to get to his feet. He takes one look and Akira and Ryuji before grabbing the unconscious Freila and leaving. Morgana gets to his feet and joins the other two."What happened to your leg?" Morgana asks."Straight to the point as always, Morgana." Akira responds with a shake of his head."Old accident." Ryuji's tone makes it know that that's all he's going to say on the matter."Thank you so much!" The old man yelled as Arsene walked over to Akira. "How can we ever repay you?""You can point us in the direction of Karyuu." Morgana replied as Ryuji limped over to the toppled wagon.Akira watched as the blond flipped the caravan over and started putting back the spilt items. The old woman walk over to help him, but Ryuji waved her off with a smile as he finished putting everything back. Akira frowned heavily at the action, if he was a mass murderer then why would he do something like that?"Karyuu? My wife and I own it.""Really?""We'll let you stay for free. How does that sound?""We'll take it!" Morgana exclaimed.They managed to nab the roaming horses and reattach them to the wagon. Just as they were about to set off, Akira waved over Ryuji, who limped over in confusion."Get on." He patted the saddle."You're not getting on?"Akira shook his head. "You need it more than I do."Ryuji made a noise of surprise and, with some help from Akira, got on the back of Arsene. The black-haired hunter held the reins as the started their walk to their destination. Akira kept glancing over to the blond as he massaged his leg, grumbling under his breath as he did so."Shitty leg... gave out at the worst time."Soon the roof of the hot springs came into view as Akira felt the heat from Dragonfire Falls hit him full force. He shrugged off his black trench coat, leaving him in his gray collared shirt, and hung it over Arsene's neck. The couple unlocked the door to the springs and ushered their savors inside after they unloaded the wagon and put the horses away. The elders pointed to where the springs were and gave Akira the room key. Morgana made a beeline for the heated water, complaining about how much pain he was in. Akira followed after with Ryuji slowly tagging along."Ah." Morgana groaned out in pleasure as he sank into the water after rinsing himself off. "This feels so good!"Akira settled next to Morgana and let out a deep sigh as the heat unwound his tense muscles. Steel gray eyes flicked over to were Ryuji sat, back to them as he stared up at the mountains. Morgana let out a small, faint gasp as he looked at the condition of the blond's back. Akira's eyes widened as he caught sight of the wounds. Various amounts of scars, ranging from elevated ones to burn marks, littered Ryuji's upper back in mass amounts. Akira looked closer, seeing the faint whip marks mixed in with the burned ones. He even saw a couple of claw marks mixed in and Akira had to look away, feeling sick to his stomach upon seeing the scars.Even Morgana looked away, blue eyes locking onto Akira's gray ones. The werecat seemed to be thinking the same question as him. 'What happened to him?' ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Akira watched as Ryuji ducked his head further under his hood, shadowed brown eyes snapping from building to building. The bright light and sounds of the Casino Kingdom seemed to irritate the blond as Akira led Arsene through the streets. Once the capital city had come into view, Akira had immediately thrown Ryuji's hood up and told him to keep it up until they left the city. Morgana eyes's gleamed as he took in the city, bright blue eyes flickering to and fro. Ryuji watched the werecat with a small hint of annoyance in his chocolate gaze."Why is he so excited?""We don't come here often." explained Akira as he worked on getting the Containment Bracelet off. "Today's special because I need to deliver something to Queen Sae.""You know the queen?""Yeah, I met her through her sister." The hunter handed the bracelet and Arsene's reins to Morgana. "You two explore around. I don't want to stay here longer than I have to."Akira turned to leave, only managing to catch the tail end of the pair's conversation."...go shopping?""...is a little hot."Akira made fast tracks to the Casino Palace and walked into the lobby of the bright palace. The black-haired looked around the castle, taking in the various tables filled with every sort of creature imaginable. The high deep blue and silver ceiling practically glowed under the warm light of the lightning orbs. Akira looked down at the multicolored carpeted floor as he navigated the lobby, making sure not to step on any wayward tails. The sounds of slot machines, cheering, and chips filled the hunter's ears as he pushed his way past the crowd. He ducked his head as a pair of griffons flew up to one of the skyward tables. Akira pulled a crest from his bag and held it up to the pair of basilisk guards by the warp in the back.The both lowered their heads to get at the insignia before moving their bodies out of the warpway, allowing Akira to access the pad with no issue. The hunter nodded his thanks to the large reptiles stepping into the warpway and teleporting up into the Throne room. Sae sat in her chair, back turned to Akira, as she talked to someone. The hunter cleared his throat, making his presence know to the two in the room."Kurusu." Sae said, turning her chair around and getting up to greet the hunter. "It's nice to see you again."The mystery person got up and shook themselves, causing their large dark gray wings to open slightly. Akira watched as the figure turned to face him and took in the person's look. The humanoid dragon wore a long gray coat with a peace symbol on it, blue jeans, and dark boots. Gray scales decorate parts of the dragon's chest and face, a gecko tattoo sits in the far left side of their neck. Pulled back off white horns peck out from underneath short gray hair."Hey, kid, been a while, hasn't it?"Akira blinks before it dawns on him. "Iwai?""Already forgotten me?" Iwai smirks."No. I just haven't seen you in your humanoid form before."Iwai lets out a chuckle as Sae speaks. "What brings you to my kingdom, Kurusu?""I'm delivering a bounty to Castle Kingdom." Akira answers as he digs around in his bag.Sae seems surprised. "You found Sakamoto?""Yeah, he was hiding out in a port village near the edge of Cruiser Kingdom. None of the villagers knew his actual name." Akira handed the gift over to the queen."I'd imagine not." The shapeshifter said and opened the gift. "Chilled Chocolates from Makoto..." Sae smiled softly, "She remembers.""You going back to Pyramid after this, kid?" Iwai's voice grabs Akira's attention."Yeah, after I get back to Morgana and Ryuji."Iwai opens his wings. "I'll give you ride.""Don't you have to be getting back to Dragonfire Falls and Kaoru?" The hunter asks.The dragon waves him off with his wing. "He'll be fine for a few more hours. What do you say?""Well-" Akira jumped as his communicator crystal went off. "I told him that this is for emergencies only." He pulled out the shining red crystal. "What's wrong, Mona?""Bounty hunters!" Came the werecat's frantic voice. "Those thieves we beat up earlier are here and they called Ryuji out in the middle of a Hunter's Tavern!" A crash could be heard on the other line. "Shit. We need help, Joker, Ryuji and I are out maned here and-" The sound of a body hitting the ground. "Ryuji! Damnit! I need to go! Hey assholes let go of him!""Mona!" The glowing comes to an abrupt stop the line cuts off. "Dammit!" Akira pockets the crystal and bolts for the warp pad. "I'm sorry I had to cut my visit short, Sae, but I'm needed."The hunter runs through the crowd as he tries to find Morgana and Ryuji. People run pass in an effort to get away from the fighting bounty hunters. Akira reaches the square just in time to see Morgana get thrown into the silver marble fountain in the center. The werecat emerges from the water with a growl and sweeps the wet bangs out of his face."We have you been?!" Morgana asks, upon spotting Akira."The crowd was hard to get through." The black-haired hunter helps his companion out of the water. "Where's Ryuji?""Right here, Joker." A deep voice sounds behind the pair.Both of them turn to see Ryuji being suspended off the ground, both arms held up in a bone crushing grip, by an ogre. The creature stood taller than the pair combined, its pale green skin almost looked yellow in the light. The ogre wore a fur vest, worn brown shorts with a belt covered in bones, and a set down dark brown laced up boots. He held Ryuji's hammer in his other hand, the head of the weapon was caved in tremendously and in need of desperate repair. Next to the ogre stood the minotaur from the other day, the wound Ryuji had left on Tentarafoo had blossomed into a scar. Freila and Kouga stood off to the side, the chimera was glaring daggers at Morgana while the human made a slicing motion across their throat as they stared at Akira. Ryuji wiggled around in the ogre's grip, the beast tighten his hold and the blond let out a sound of discomfort."Let him go." Akira demanded."Not a chance, Joker. He's our bounty now, right Megidolaon?" Tentarafoo directed his eyes at the ogre."Right. You can have him back after we're done." Megidolaon increased the pressure of his hold and Ryuji bit back a sound of pain. "Kamoshida would pay any price to get Sakamoto back.""We don't have to bring him to Kamoshida." The minotaur walked over and stood next to the dangling blond. "The beast still owes me a scar or two."Ryuji lets out an inhuman growl and leans away as Tentarafoo reaches a hand out. Akira acts quickly and throws his dagger hard enough for the blade to go through the minotaur's hand. Tentarafoo yells out in pain and Morgana looks at Akira in surprise."Why did you do that?""I don't know." Akira looks down at his hand. "It was instinctive...""What?""I... I..." The hunter pulls out his other dagger just as Tentarafoo throws the bladed weapon to the ground. '...Wanted to protect him.'"You fuck!" The minotaur yells out and charged at the bounty hunters.Morgana swiftly moved as Akira braced himself for impact, only for Tentarafoo to get pinned to the ground under the weight of Iwai's sudden descend. Morgana quietly approached Megidolaon and picked up Akira's discarded dagger. The rest of the group were too focused on Iwai to notice Morgana sneaking up. Megidolaon let you pained noise as the dagger sank into his shoulder. He dropped Ryuji, who kicked him in the face and grabbed his hammer. Morgana pulled out the blade and flipped over the ogre, landing besides Ryuji, who held his now bruised arm and his ruined hammer. Iwai held Tentarafoo by the neck, claws digging in to the minotaur's neck, causing blood to trail down from the injuries."Unless you want me to snap his neck, you better leave." Iwai growled out, pupils turning into slits as he glared at the creatures.Akira watched as they scrambled away, not wanting to deal with the angry dragon. He walked over to Ryuji as Iwai threw Tentarafoo on the ground, who also scrambled away in fright. Akira gently grabbed Ryuji's wrists and inspected the bruising on them, they were moderate but still needed to be dealt with. The hunter felt a growl rise up in his throat and he fought to keep it from being audible."Uh..." Ryuji's voice brought Akira's attention back to the present."Sorry." The black-haired hunter let go of the blond's wrists."..." Ryuji lifted up his hammer to inspect the damage. "Shit... they did a number on this... It's gonna take forever to fix this..."Morgana handed the bracelet over to Akira, who slipped it back on after some hesitation."Iwai." The hunter spoke, gaining the attention of the dragon. "I'm taking you up on your offer.""Good. Was hoping that you would." Iwai's body erupted into flames, they dissipated quickly revealing his true form.Iwai's dragon form towered over the trio's forms and Ryuji leaps back in fright. Akira could make out the scars that the reptile had received from various fights. His black claws dug into the golden etched ground of the city, almost tearing the tiles. Iwai's long gray scaled tail curled around him in an attempt to keep it from destroying any buildings nearby. The dragon lowered his head and gestured to his back. Akira and Morgana climbed on with no hesitation, but Ryuji stalled as he took in the body of the dragon."What's the matter?" Morgana asked."Uh... What about Arsene?" Ryuji rubbed the back of his neck. "We can't leave him behind.""He's a hell horse, he can teleport practically anywhere." The werecat answered."...I've been riding of a hell horse...?""He's well behaved." Akira responded with a smile. "He won't take you to the underworld.""Dude, don't say shit like that!" Ryuji looked over at Iwai before climbing up and settling next to Akira. "...hate heights..."The hunter turned to him. "What?""I said-" Iwai took off with a mighty leap and a heavy beat of his wings. "I hate heights!"Morgana laughed as Ryuji clung to Akira like he was a life preserver. The black-haired hunter flinched as he felt the blond's sharpened nails dig into his chest and fought down the mild blush that threaten to appear. 'Am... Am I falling for Ryuji?' ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Arid air harshly whipped at Akira's covered face as Iwai flew them high above the desert kingdom. Ryuji still clung to the black-haired hunter, but he had lessened his hold since the take off. Morgana sat calmly on the dragon's back, looking down at the various towns they passed. Iwai descended into the center of the city square and waited as they climbed off his back. Akira adjusted his robes as Ryuji let go, shadowed brown eyes taking in the lively desert city. Morgana jumped off with flare, landing on his feet and bowing as several residents clapped at his display. Akira rolled his eyes and wished Iwai farewell as he took off into the sky."So where are we?" Ryuji asked, following Akira and Morgana as they walked through the city."The central city of Pyramid." The werecat answered, waving as he passed a pair of feline ladies. "We're going to stay here for a day or two before taking off.""We'll find someone to repair your weapon as well, Ryuji." Akira said.Ryuji stopped a few feet away from the pair. "You… You'd do that for me?""Yeah. You're pretty good in a fight and you seemed pretty attached to it.""But why? You're turnin' me in. Why repair my weapon and look after me?"To be honest, Akira didn't have an answer for the blond. Somewhere throughout their travels, Akira had felt himself growing somewhat attached to the man. He wanted to know why, but he could tell Ryuji wasn't going to tell him the truth about the Castle Massacre until Akira fully gained the blond's trust. The hunter responded with a shrug and kept walking to the large pyramid palace that stretched high above the city. Ryuji grumbled and followed after, lest he be dragged by the bracelet. Akira approached the guards outside of the bright and colorful palace."Prince Akira, welcome back." The guards simultaneously bowed."Prince?" Ryuji asked as Akira and Morgana lead him into the main part of the palace. "You're a prince? I was caught by a prince?""Yep." Morgana looked back with a smile."So you didn't catch me for the money… What did catch me for?""You needed to justice." Akira responded, looking back at Ryuji "Although, now I'm not so sure about that…."Ryuji opened his mouth, but snapped it shut as he took in the sight of the palace exterior. Water flowed freely from the river nearby and into the small marble banks that seemed to go around the royal residence. See through glass cubes served as the floor, every step the blond took set out streams of green and blue lights that stretched out towards the rest of the palace. Equally see through pillars stretched high above, glowing with faint lights of yellow and red. An expansive garden was set close by, various amount of greenery could be seen through the glass and Ryuji could catch bits and pieces of fairies flying around. They passed a couple of buildings and the blond questioned what could be in them. Akira cleared his throat, causing Ryuji's head to snap towards him."Enjoying the sights?""You live here?" The guards stationed at the massive golden and silver etched marble door opened the entrance for them."Yeah."The throne room was decked floor to ceiling in the glass cubes, various amount of lights spiraled and twisted around in the six pillars in the room. The lights on the floor rapidly moved towards where the throne was. The throne was a golden hue with a red-yellow cushion set in the center."I don't see Futaba." Morgana said, looking around the room."Akira!" A voice cried out as a sphinx with long bright ginger hair, red rimmed headphones, and large black circular glasses ran into the room and tackled Akira. Her black and green tank tops stood out against her sandy colored fur and wings.The hunter laughed as he landed on the ground and gave the sphinx a hug. "Hey Futaba."Futaba smiled and leapt off the black-haired and flew up, hovering above the ground slightly before turning her attention to Morgana. The sphinx also tackled the werecat in the same manner and Ryuji backed up as they slid across the glass floor. Her mauve eyes locked onto Ryuji and she quickly hid herself behind Akira."Who's this?""Oh. This is-""Did I hear Akira just now?" A calm voice said from the hallway besides the throne."Inari!" Futaba called to the voice. "Come see who he brought home."The sound of soft footsteps filled the room as a tall man with dark blue hair and dressed in a navy blue kimono with a back swirled sash walked into the room. A pair of beautiful light blue tipped white ears sat on top of his head and a set of equally beautiful and colored nine tails curled around him."Hello, Yusuke.""Nice to see you returned safety, Akira." Yusuke smiled. "The same goes for you as well, Morgana."Futaba pointed her wing at Ryuji. "When are you going to tell us about the other stray you collected?""Once I introduce him to everyone." Akira responded."Where are the others anyway?" Morgana peered down the hallway."They are in the botanical garden." Yusuke answered as he circled Ryuji, who leaned away from the kitsune."Yusuke, please." Akira directed the dark haired man away from the blond. "Let's go greet the others."Futaba and the kitsune walked down the hallway Yusuke had appeared from with others following behind. Ryuji looked in awe at each passing room until they came into a room with a glass ceiling. Fancy golden chandeliers with lighting and fire orbs dangled from the ceiling as natural light drenched the room in warm rays. Lily pads of various shapes and sizes floated around lazily in the large pool. A multitude of flowers, ranging from bright to dark colored framed the edge of the water. A long haired light brown merman leaned against the railing, white and red tail flickering around in the water as he talked to a female fallen angel with fluffy light auburn hair. Her off white wings folded against her back as she readjusted her gray and black dress.A short brown haired echidna with a tight black and white star top and white opened button shirt sat next to a blonde, curly pigtailed, long haired empusa with a black tank top and blue denim short shorts. The echidna's black, neon blue, and red tail curled behind the empusa as they talked to a fairy on one of the nearby lily pads. The black haired spell caster sat comfortably on the flowering plant, long white dress pooled around her legs while her multicolored sparrow tail wings slowly opened and closed. A dark blue haired faun sat on the side of the pool, black hooved feet dangling above the water as he laid in the sun. He scratched mindlessly at one of his broken curled horns before setting his hand back over his green and white vest."Akira's back!" Futaba yelled as she flew over and set herself on the largest lily pad in the center of the water.All head and eyes turned to the trio in the doorway, Akira raised a hand in greeting. The others rushed over to meet him, although the empusa, fairy, and faun looked surprised to see Ryuji. The empusa tackled Ryuji to the ground."It seems they know one another." The merman spoke as he exited the water, white and red tail morphing into a pair of pale legs."Ann." Ryuji wheezed out. "Kinda hard to breath here.""Sorry, sorry." The blonde let go. "What around are you doing here?""Uh…" Ryuji was quickly hugged by the fairy and faun. "Hey Shiho, Mishima… well-""I'll tell you later, Ann." Akira cut in. "Let me introduce everyone to him first."Mishima and Shiho back up and glanced at Ryuji with worried and confused looks. Akira directed Ryuji over to the merman."Ryuji, this is Goro Akechi. You can just call him Akechi."The light haired merman held out his hand with a smile. "Hello, Ryuji.""Hi." The blond shook his hand, making sure to keep the Containment Bracelet hidden under the desert robes.The fallen angel was next in the group. "This is Haru Okumura.""Makoto Niijima." Akira gestured to the echidna. "You've met Yusuke and Futaba. You already seem to have a past with Shiho, Mishima, and Ann.""Where are from, Ryuji-kun?" Haru asks."Uh…" The blond rubs the back of his head. "The port village near the edge of Cruiser Kingdom."Akechi flinches slightly at the name while Ann pulls Akira aside with Mishima and Shiho following behind."Akira, you're turning Ryuji in, aren't you?" The empusa askes, forked tail flicking around."I-""Please don't turn him in." Shiho cut him off. "We owe him so much.""We owe him our lives." Mishima added.Akira looked between the three of them. "What do you mean by that?"The faun and the fairy's eyes immediately fell to the ground and Ann pulled them close to her body with her wings."He hasn't told you?"The hunter shakes his head. "I figured it'd be better not to ask, but…""But what?""When we stopped at Karyuu, he… he had scars all over his back. Burn and whip marks, some of them looked like branding scars…." Akira answered.Mishima almost curls in on himself and Shiho holds tightly onto Ann. The blonde's wings practically engulf the pair of cowering creatures."I'll… I'll let Ryuji tell you about it himself. He's the one who made the decision after all…." Ann quietly replies.Akira doesn't say anything further and directs his attention back towards the others. Ryuji is crouched down over the water's edge, brown eyes practically shining as he looked at Akechi's tail. He gently dragged his fingers over the white and red scales, feeling the somewhat bumpy surface of the beautiful bicolored tail."Have you never seen a merman before, Ryuji?" Akechi asks with a small smile."Nah." The blond retracts his hand. "I lived on the outskirts of the village, so if there were ever any Merman or mermaids, I never saw them.""So why are you traveling with Akira-kun and Mona-chan?" Haru asked.Chocolate eyes trail off towards the ground. "Uh… They needed my help with something. Old friends and all, I decided to help them."Akira joined the other. "You know, he caught and killed a Harlen Dragon Quake."Futaba flies over, mauve eyes wide with surprise. "Wow, really?"Ryuji's eyes snapped over to Akira in a silent thanks. "Yeah. The thing was a bitch to kill, but I did it.""How'd you kill it?""With-" He pauses, eyes becoming disheartened as he reaches for the hammer strapped to his back. "This…"Ryuji pulls out the hammer, showing the state of the weapon to everyone."Oh my!" Haru exclaims.Makoto slithers forward, trying to get a better look at the weapon. "What happened to it?""Ah… ran into some trouble in Casino." Akira answers. "Got some help from Iwai before it got any worse. Think you can fix it, Yusuke, Futaba?"Yusuke gingerly reaches for the warhammer, which Ryuji hesitantly hands over. The kitsune's tails wrap around the weapon and he inspects it, blue eyes taking in the design and muttering to himself.Futaba hovers close to Yusuke. "What metal is it made of?""Chromium."The sphinx hums her acknowledgment. "We'll give it to you tomorrow, fixed up and undentable.""What-"The pair leave the garden in a hurry and Ryuji almost takes off after them, only to stop as Akira's hand lands on shoulder."They'll be fine. Come on, we're getting something to eat. Then we're getting in the onsen.""We're staying the night here?""Can't leave without your hammer, can we?"Ryuji let out a sigh of content as he sunk into the massive tub of the onsen. Akira watched as the blond sank below the water before resurfacing and shaking the water from his hair. Mishima let out a noise of surprise and splashed Ryuji, who playfully glared at the faun. Akira smiled as the two got into a splash fight as Morgana settled next to him."Do you two still plan on turning him in?" Akechi asks.Morgana sighs and sinks further into the warm water while Akira turns his attention to the merman."I can't give you an honest answer, Akechi." The hunter sighs. "From what Ann, Mishima, and Shiho said, I probably shouldn't.""Then why continue?""He's gone along with everything we've done so far. What Kamoshida told me about him painted him as a cold blooded killer… but…""But?""He gave himself up before we reached the village, helped out with a couple of thieves we ran into along the way, and lent a hand to the elder couple as well. He's done all these things that paint him in a different light."Akechi hummed, "Then why continue?"Akira ran his fingers through his black hair. "He asked me to. That night at Karyuu, he told me why he did it, why he gave up so easily." Akira's eyes flick back over the blond, who is calmly sitting next to Mishima. "He said that he didn't want the village getting destroyed or someone going after his past.""Hmm. He seems quite interesting.""He is."Morgana piped up. "He'd make a great addition to our group."'If only.' Akira thought."Can I ask somethin'?"Akira turns his head to see Ryuji situated by the window of his room. His body is turned so he can look out the window and at the black haired hunter on the bed opposite his. Ryuji's body is bathed in moonlight, giving him an almost heavenly glow."Yes?""Why didn't you stay? Here, I mean."Akira closes his eyes. "I don't like walls." ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- After a goodbye to the others and a repaired warhammer in hand; Akira, Ryuji, and Morgana left the desert kingdom and traveled southwest, landing themselves deep within Midnight Forest. Morgana stuck close to Akira in his panther form, making sure to not look like a target. Hardly anyone traveled through the forest, it was the werewolves' domain and they made it know frequently. Attacking any traveler dumb enough to trek through the perpetually dark forest. Yet, Akira and the others hand no choice; a heavy fire from a battle between imps and manticores had yet to die down, forcing them to travel into the quiet and deadly thicket. Dense foliage surrounded them from all sides and not a scrap of sunlight could be seen through the thick leaves of the trees. Akira ushered a newly returned Arsene along, gray eyes trained on the white bark of the changing trees for any signs of werewolves.Ryuji had been acting antsy, his hood was up and every now and then, he'd stop and look off in a random direction as if he was surveying the area. Akira watched as the blond stopped once more and dragged his nails down his arms in a sign of discomfort. The hunter wished to comfort the blond, but stopped himself from doing so. Getting through this death trap of woodland was more important. He kicked at Arsene's signs, spurring the hell horse into a trot."Do you hear anything, Morgana?" Akira whispered to the werecat."No." the white footed panther replied. "Maybe they haven't-"A howl sounded off nearby and Akira felt his blood run cold."Shit." He cursed and brought Arsene into a full gallop with Morgana running along side him. Akira looked back to see if Ryuji was following them, but the blond had disappeared. "Where's-"Suddenly a large blue roan wolf leap out from a couple of purple, pink and white bushes nearby. Arsene reared up in fright, nearly throwing Akira off, while Morgana back up from the lycanthrope. The werewolf advanced on them, yellowish teeth barred in a snarl and drool dripping down its muzzle. Akira got off of Arsene, daggers drawn in self defense as the canine hybrid continued forward. It leapt at them, long, sharp claws outstretched in an attempt to kill. Akira braced himself for impact only to have the blue roan thrown to the ground by a larger black wolf. The hunter and werecat backed up as the lycanthropes wrestled on the moss covered ground.The black wolf had its' jaws firmed clamped on the the blue roan's scruff, it shook the other canine around before throwing it heavily against a clump of trees. The blue roan slammed into the cluster, causing the bark to snap and break apart from the impact. The trees fell with a mighty thud as the lycanthrope shook its head, yellow eyes glaring daggers at its opponent. The wolves circled one another, both of them snarling at the other as they sized each other up. The blue roan made a quick dash at the black wolf, locking its jaws onto the other's foreleg and pulled hard. The black lycanthrope fell with a harsh thud just as the blue roan let go and sank its teeth into the dark colored canine's shoulder. The wolf yelped in pain and quickly got up, making a mad dash for one of the trees and slammed its captured shoulder against it.The blue roan let go with a whimper and hobbled away, clearing valuing its life over an easy meal. The black wolf watched it disappear in the forest before turning its gaze over to Akira and Morgana."There's no way I'm fighting something that large." Morgana protested and back up slightly, only to be stopped by Akira. "What are you-""Look at it's foreleg." The hunter simply said.Bright blue eyes honed in on the advancing werewolf, they grew wide as he spotted the Containment Bracelet. "No way..."Akira stepped forward and brushed his hand against the wound the other werewolf had left. "Ryuji."Ryuji huffed and pawed at the ground as the hunter pulled out a orange elixir from his bag. He whined in pain as Akira poured it over the wound, he reached back to lick at the injury as it healed."Why didn't you tell us you were a werewolf?" Morgan ask, slamming his muzzle into the black wolf's once he turned to face the panther.Ryuji shoved him out of his face and rubbed at his nose, growling as brown eye glared down the werecat."I'm pretty sure he has a good reason, Morgana." Akira commented, climbing back on top of Arsene. "We need to keep going in case more show up."But..." a sigh. "Fine. I was wondering why he smelt like dog to begin with."Ryuji traveled on the other side of Akira as they continued trekking through the forest. They ran into several werewolves along the way, although they took one look at a growling Ryuji and decided it wasn't worth dying over. The sound of rushing water became louder as they neared an old suspension bridge. The platform swung to and fro in a mocking way, inviting them to try and walk across the broken and splinted wood. Akira got off of Arsene and carefully placed his foot on one of the boards; it creaked under the weight, but didn't give way."There's gotta be some other way." Morgana spoke, looking down and up the cliff side."I don't think there is, Morgana." Akira took another step. "We have to go this way if we want to get out."Ryuji looked ready to pull the hunter back onto solid ground as the werecat let out a groan. Akira slowly lead Arsene along the old bridge, making sure not to keep the hell horse away from any holes. Morgana followed after, testing every board before stepping forward. Ryuji quietly tagged along, trying to stay within the marked distance of the bracelets. Akira took another step and the wood gave way, the hunter managed to get his footing back just as the wood under Morgana's paws snapped. The werecat let out a yowl and nearly plummeted into the raging water if not for Ryuji grabbing his tail. As the werewolf started to pull Morgana up, the ropes of the suspension bridge snapped and brought the four of them into a free fall before hitting the water with a loud splash.Morgana clung onto the black lycanthrope as Arsene whinnied in fear, Akira had fallen a bit further upstream. He swam over to the flailing animals just as Ryuji threw Morgana over to one of the rocks sticking out of the water and grabbed a hold of Arsene's reins. The werewolf transformed back into his human form and directed Arsene over to one of the fallen trees. Morgana quickly made his way over to the soaked log and grabbed Arsene just as the rapid drug Ryuji under, dragging the blond further downstream."Ryuji!" Morgana cried.Akira swam faster, praying to whatever god would listen that he'd reach the blond before he went too far. Ryuji resurface with a gasp only to be drug back under by a small waterfall. The blond bashed his head on one of the ragged rocks and fell falling unconscious, leaving a blood trail just as Akira grabbed him. The hunter resurfaced and held werewolf's head above the water. He could hear the faint sound of Morgana yelling out."Akira! The waterfall!"Akira knew he wouldn't be able to get him and Ryuji to safety, so he held the blond close to his chest as the water took them over the edge. The hunter hit the quiet water below with a loud splash, he resurfaced a few seconds later and drug Ryuji to dry land. Akira listened for the blond's breathing before before CPR on him."Come on... Come on..." He stopped once Ryuji harshly coughed up water. "You okay?"The werewolf nodded and leaned on him for support as he got his breathing under control. Akira held him close in an effort to warm him and Ryuji made no move to push him away. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Before they entered the city of Museum, Akira had quickly pulled up Ryuji's hood, startling the man out of his doze on the hunter's back. Morgana had quickly transformed back into his animal form and pulled a set of dark glassed goggles out of the pack on Arsene's side."Why'd you that?" Ryuji asked, making to pull up his hood only for the dark haired man to tug it back down. "Hey!"Akira turned to face the werewolf and suppressed an affectionate look as he stared at the shadowed brown eyes. "The residents of Museum are attracted to bright things.""Like gold?"The hunter reached under the hood to mess with the blond's hair. "Like gold.""….Oh.""They nearly tore Morgana apart when we first arrived here." He jerked his head at the goggles wearing werecat. "They were saying stuff like 'Your eyes are so pretty' and 'How much do they cost?'" Akira felt a shiver course through the werewolf. "It was terrifying.""And traumatic." Morgana reached for Arsene's reins. "The stallion and I can stay on the outskirts of town, Akira. You and Ryuji can go in alone."Akira jumped off the hell horse and helped Ryuji down. "You sure?""Yeah.""Alright. Call me if there's trouble.""Same goes for you!" The werecat yelled as the pair entered the city.Tightly packed buildings greeted the men as they walked through the brightly colored streets. Most of the people who passed them gave them dirty looks and whispered to one another in a snobby kind of way. Ryuji seemed to hunch further under the hushed talk and stares, Akira couldn't help but pull the blond closer to him."Are you going to do this every time?""Do you not like it?""I-I didn't say that!"Akira let out a laugh as they entered the loud and busy marketplace. A multitude of stalls lined the edge of the streets, many of the vendors make loud claims as they try to gain the pairs attention. Each of the booths sold something different, from food to materials to art. A couple of the jewelry that one of the passing merchant had grabbed Ryuji's attention and he stopped to examine the wares. He picks up a silver anchor pendent with a ruby jewel in the middle of it, he's so transfixed by the necklace that he doesn't notice Akira standing beside him. Ryuji jumps as Akira hands the merchant the marks for the necklace. The hunter takes the pendent and puts it on the blond, who has averted his eyes and is blushing wildly.They try and make their trip as quick as they can, not wanting to stay here any longer than needed. As Akira handed over some marks of silver to the fruit saleswoman, a set of creatures emerged from a nearby tavern. Ryuji looked over to them from the corner of his eye and froze."Akira…" The blond nudged the hunter. "We should go.""We still have one more thing to get.""Those assholes who broke my hammer are here."Akira whips his head around to see them standing in front of the tavern, figuring out where to go next. The hunter quickly grasps the blond's wrists and makes his way further into the marketplace. They're about halfway in when a voice full of malicious intent rings out above the crowd."Hey, Joker!"Akira doesn't need to know which one of them yelled as he and Ryuji break into a full run. The hunter can hear the sound of rapidly approaching hooves, he pulls out his daggers and twirls around, blocking the ax that comes rushing at his face. Akira's quickly losing the fight until Ryuji's warhammer slams into Tentarafoo's side, sending the minotaur flying into one of the stalls. The blond helps him to his feet only to get attacked by Kouga. Ryuji slams into the ground and brings up his hands fast to hold back the jaws that threaten to snap at his neck. The chimera tries to shake his mouth free from the werewolf's grasp, keeping the blond distracted enough not to notice the sneaking snake tail.Akira stabs the snake tail before it has a chance to bite Ryuji and Kouga roars in pain. Ryuji kicks the in pain chimera off of him and gets up, hand clasped around the handle of the weapon. Kouga rolls away and nurses his injured tail as Megidolaon runs towards the pair, brass knuckles raised and eyes narrowed at them. Akira waits until the ogre is close enough before jumping over him, hands slamming down the head of the creature just as Ryuji swung the hammer up. Megidolaon falls backwards, teeth flying from his underbite and landing on the ground as Ryuji jumps over him. Akira and Ryuji break into a run, dodging residents as they try to make a break towards the city gates. Freila jumps from their hand place and lands squarely on Ryuji's back, the blond uses the flat end of his hammer to throw off the human.Freila pulls the blond's hood off before landing on the ground, knocking themselves out in the process. Akira feels time stop as all the residents eyes snap towards the uncovered blond. Ryuji's chocolate covered eyes widen as he backs away from the approaching citizens."Akira?" Ryuji frantically looks over to the frozen hunter."Gold…""Such a beautiful color…""How much for it…""I'd kill for that beauty…"Akira quickly grabs Ryuji's hand and they continue their mad dash towards the gate. The sound of the residents' footsteps grow closer no matter how fast the pair runs ahead."Gold…""Such a beautiful color…""How much for it…""I'd kill for that beauty…""Grab him. Something that bright and colorful shall be mine."They're almost at the gate and Akira can see Morgana and Arsene waiting for them. Ryuji suddenly lets out a choking noise and is ripped out of Akira's grasp. The hunter stops and turns to see a rope around the werewolf's neck, the blond's being dragged backwards into the practically zombiefied crowd. Ryuji chokes as he struggles to get the rope off, brown eyes flickering frantically up at his impending down. Akira rushes towards him just as Arsene materialized in front of the crowd. The hell horse rears up and slams his hooves into the ground, cracking it and causing sparks fly out as he whinnies threateningly at the residents. The citizens back up, not wanting to deal with the stallion as Akira pulls out his dagger and cuts the rope.The hunter hauls Ryuji up and pulls the trembling body close to him. He whistles for Arsene and grabs onto the hell horse's neck as he runs pass, not once letting the blond go in the process. Morgana runs alongside the stallion as they leave the city and Akira doesn't look back, too focused on the still shaking blond and the road ahead of them. They continue until night falls and they make camp of the outskirts of the central city of Castle Kingdom. Akira sets the fire and settles in front of it, leaning back as he uses the asleep Morgana for support. Ryuji sits across from him, staring at the fire with knees pulled up to his chest as he leans against the sitting and grazing Arsene."Ryu-""These scars… Do you want to know the truth… of what caused them?"Akira's voice fell short as he stares at the werewolf. "….Only if you think I'm ready to hear it.""Heh." Ryuji lets out a quiet, unsettling, short laugh. "I trust you.""Then yes.""I was young when it happened. Thirteen, or whatever, when my dad sold me to Kamoshida." ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- "My dad was a drunkard, spending my mom's every cent on booze and whatever else he could get his hands on. On the days he wasn't drunk, he'd beat me and my mom. Eventually, it got to the point where ma wasn't makin' any more money and he learned if you gave a servant to Kamoshida, you'd get money. So… you can figure it out from there. Kamoshida didn't do much at first, just had me haul shit from point A to point B for six years. He had servants come and go, but he got new ones every month. Didn't think too much into it until I was targeted."Ryuji gripped his shoulders, eyes staring mindlessly into the fire. "He broke my leg to keep me from runnin' as he pulled me down into a blood covered dungeon. He… He…"Akira moves from his spot and settles next to Ryuji, he pulls him close and places his forehead on the crown of the blond's head.Ryuji trembles and takes a deep breath. "He branded me…" He moves to take off his hooded vest, showing the hunter the myriad of scars. "Constantly… and in the same spot."Akira didn't look away, hand slowly reaching out to gently place a hand on the nearly healed KS mark on Ryuji's shoulder. The werewolf flinched slightly and the hunter quickly said his apologies and retracted his hand."He didn't make an attempt to fix me leg until the break became noticeable. Even then, he hired a cheap healer to fix it, so it was never properly fixed. Every couple of days, he'd drag me down to get tortured. Each time it was somethin' new: burning, scalding, whipped… you name it, he did it." Ryuji put his vest back on. "There was a point where I blacked out durin' one of the sessions and woke up, strapped to the table and being… cut open…" He placed a hand on his clothed stomach. "It felt strange, seein' some of my organs out on display… and… feeling them dig around in my body. I screamed and I didn't stop until I was knocked back out."Akira felt sick as he listened and Ryuji placed his hand over his mouth as if he was remembering it."I don't remember exactly when Ann, Shiho, and Mishima showed up, what I can remember is that Kamoshida had set his sights on Shiho and Ann. I didn't like the look he was giving them, so…I-I offered myself up instead, so that he wouldn't touch them..."Akira felt bile rise in his throat as he stared at the blond. "Ryuji… Did you…""Yeah," He answers in a quiet voice. "I did. The girls shouldn't have to go through it and I was already damaged." Ryuji leans on him. "A month or three passed before he got bored of me and focused back on Shiho and Ann. I told them what Kamoshida planned on doin' and I got them out before it could happened, but I got caught in the process of comin' back. He strapped me down and practically grilled me alive as punishment, makin' a show of it by forcin' the others to watch. He used me as an example of what should happen in case anyone stood up against him.""I blacked out and when I came to, Mishima was cleanin' and healin' my wounds. He started sayin' how he wished he had helped me. I couldn't move for days after that, confined to the room where only Mishima visited me." Ryuji focuses his eyes back towards the fire. "I later found out that Mishima had been takin' some of the tortures meant for me.""What… what happened the night of?""I was barely able to get up when Mishima came back with a bloody broken horn. He collapsed in pain and that's when I decided to lead everyone out to freedom. I waited until night and gathered up everyone up, they left quickly after hearin' what I had to say. I was helpin' Mishima out when I was spotted by the shitty guards." The werewolf placed his forehead on his knees. "I acted as the decoy and lead them faraway from everyone. That piece of shit sent every guard he had at me, tellin' them to bring me back alive." Ryuji jerks his head in the vague direction of where Midnight Forest was."They chased me until I collapsed from my leg giving out. Just as they grabbed me, we were attacked by the werewolves. They ripped the guards to pieces and I was nearly mauled by one of the larger of the pack. It bit my leg, nearly rebreakin' it and dragged me back towards where the others of its pack were waitin'. I… I managed to get away after pickin' up one of the weapons and stabbin' the wolf. I dragged myself to the river and took that all the way to the outskirts of the port village." Ryuj sighed. "And you already know the rest… I found out later from Tomoe that that bite I got had turned me into a werewolf."By now, Akira was staring at the werewolf with a visibly sick expression. Ryuji looked over at him and rubbed the back of his head."I… excluded some parts of the torture… figured that you wouldn't be able to stomach it… Hell, I'm still not able to stomach it.""Oh, Ryuji. I-I-""Don't start with the 'I'm sorry' bullshit. None of this was your fault. That's just the way the world is at times…""Ryuji, I can't continue with this...""What? Why not?""I just can't. You went through literal hell and I'm about to throw you back in!""It's to protect everyone! If you don't turn me in, who knows who he'll hire next!?" Ryuji glares at him. "I don't want someone to attack the village or find my mom or worse, capture the others!" The blond grabs Akira's collar and pulls him so their noses are pressed together. "I won't have Ann, Shiho, or Mishima thrown back into that life."Akira blinks as he stares at angry brown. "Be selfish for once, Ryuji. Your safety has been my top priority throughout this entire journey.""Only because you wanted the money.""I'm a prince!" Akira pins Ryuji down to the ground and glares at him. "Why would I need the money?!""Then why did you take the job!?""Because I wanted to bring you to justice at first, but I-""But you what?""I-I saw the real you." He answers softly and let go of the blond's wrists. "All those fabricated lies Kamoshida told me fell apart as I watched you fight those thieves and interact with Morgana and Arsene. Shiho... Shiho begged me not to turn you in. Mishima said that they owned you their lives. I didn't press you about your scars because Ann said to let you do that." Akira bowed his head and pressed it to Ryuji's forehead. "I fell for you, so please, Ryuji… live. Don't throw your life away.""But-""Please live for them.""…" "Please." "Akira." A hiccup sob came from under the hunter. "I don't wanna die… Please, don't let him kill me.""I won't." Akira held the sobbing werewolf close. "I won't." ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Well isn’t this a lovely sight.”Akira bolted awake and gray eyes snapped up the shadow above him and Ryuji. The blond had started to stir and froze upon seeing who was above him. Ryuji scrambled behind Akira as the hunter stood up, coming face to face with Kamoshida. Morgana and Arsene were up as well; the werecat was in his human form and the pair were glaring at the men the lord had brought with him as they surrounded the small group. Ryuji stood in the middle with a death grip on Akira’s jacket and his head bowed. Akira glared heavily at Kamoshida as the werewolf’s body shook.“I didn’t think you’d actually find him.” The lord smirked, trying to look pass the hunter to the guarded blond. “I guess you are what they really say you are.” He waved over one of his men and grabbed a large sack from the side of the guards’ horse. “Here’s your reward, now hand over Sakamoto.”Akira batted the sack away, causing gold and jewels to fly about before landing on the ground. “I don’t want your money, Kamoshida, not after everything you did to Ryuji. I’m surprised your people haven’t revolted against you.”“You’d really believe a word of what Sakamoto said?”“He showed me the scars.” Akira growled. “I’m not letting you have Ryuji and if I have to start a war between our kingdoms just to protect him, I will.”Kamoshida looked infuriated as he glared at Akira. The two didn’t move an inch, air growing tense around them. Kamoshida’s men moved closer and Morgana unsheathed his scimitar, glaring heavily at the approaching guards while Arsene’s mane started glowing red-orange.“You won’t get to see the end result.”Akira was about to counter with words of his own until pain exploded from his side. He looked down to see that Kamoshida had plunged a dagger into his stomach. He fell to the ground as the lord pulled the concealed weapon free.“Akira!” He heard Ryuji and Morgana cry out.Akira clutched the wound, glaring up helplessly as Kamoshida grabbed Ryuji and threw him to where some of his men were. Morgana made a move to follow only to have a trio of guards surround him and point their swords at him.“Ryuji!”Ryuji scrambled to get up, only to have shackles slapped onto his wrists and neck. Akira knew he wouldn’t be able to get the scream the blond had let loose out of his head. He watched as Ryuji fell to the ground, hands flying up to tug at the metal band covering his neck, only to his arms pulled away by two of the guards. The blond withered, shaking his head to and fro as blue and yellow steam rose from the shackles and collar.“What… did you do… to him…?” Akira pathetically growled out.“Wolfsbane infused shackles and collar.” Kamoshida smirked. “A little birdy told me that Sakamoto had become a werewolf.”“You… sadistic fuck…”“I’ve been called worse.” Kamoshida kicked him over onto his back and slammed the heel of his boot into the wound.Akira let loose a scream and gripped the boot, trying to throw him off despite his strength weakening. Kamoshida leaned down, hovering above the dark-haired hunter.“The knife is drenched in basilisk poison. It seems like Pyramid lost a prince.” With that, the lord plunges the knife square into Akira’s chest.Akira doesn’t even make a noise as Kamoshida gets off of him, leaving the dagger in his chest. Morgana rushes over to him and removes the bladed weapon, swiftly pressing his hands over the wound as he stares helplessly as Kamoshida drags a screaming Ryuji away.“No!” It’s hot… “Akira!” Ryuji fights against his restraints. My vision… “Akira!” Kamoshida pulls him back. …It’s going black… “Akira!” Ryuji’s cries are growing fainter. It hurts… “Akira!” The hunter can hardly hear the blond anymore. Ryuji… “Akira!“ I’m sorry… Darkness engulfs Akira’s vision as he faints, uttering Ryuji name just as the screams can no longer be heard. Akira slowly comes to, eyes blankly staring straight up into the evening sky. Something rustles to his left and the hunter slowly turns his head towards the sound. Morgana’s sitting by a fire, a multitude of herbs and bandages are next to the werecat. Arsene sits close by; head turned towards the direction Ryuji was last seen. There’s a pair of discarded bowls nearby, a light blue liquid slowly dripped down the side of them. Akira slowly looked down, his gray collared shirt was discarded and a set of crisp bandages replaced it. The wounds on his side and chest have been taken care off.He makes to get up, alerting both of his companions in doing so. Morgana quickly moves over to his side as Arsene gets up to join his rider. The werecat gently pushes Akira back down to the ground.“The poison hasn’t fully left your body yet.” He says as Akira looks around.“Ryuji.”“…Gone…” Morgana looks down to the floor. “After I gave you some elixirs, I took off after Kamoshida, but…”“But?”“He had the rest of the city heavily guarded. I couldn’t get close enough without getting spotted and shot at. I’m sorry, Akira.”Akira laid his head back down and placed his hand over his eyes. He could still hear Ryuji screaming his name in desperation. The hunter makes to get up once more and this time, Morgana doesn’t stop him. He takes one of the green elixirs and downs it all in one gulp before standing up and grabbing Arsene’s reins. Morgana wordlessly joins him and the hell horse breaks off into a full gallop. The trio takes off quickly across the plains, Akira snapping the reins every so often to spur Arsene faster. Night falls as they reach the gates of the central city.Morgana jumps off and helps Akira down from the saddle; he had to catch him as the hunter nearly collapsed once he touched the ground.“How are we getting in?” Akira pants out.“I scouted around and found a tunnel that seems to lead under the city.” Morgana helps him over to the grass covered tunnel and lifts up the top. “I just don’t know if it leads into the castle or not.”“We’ll have to take that gamble.” Akira grits his teeth and jumps down into the underpass.Morgana follows after him, quietly and slowly closing the lid. They quietly walked down the secluded and fowl smelling tunnel. Akira held his side as he trekked the stone path, panting along the way. Morgana said nothing as he walked alongside him, bright blue eyes easily adjusting to the darkness.“Morgana.”“Yeah?”“How much did you hear last night?”“…All of it.” The werecat directs him to the right. “I should’ve picked up on it earlier in the journey, but I just assumed it was because he got caught.Akira falls quiet after that as Morgana leads them through a few more turns. The hunter nearly bumps into the werecat as he suddenly stops.“I think this is it.” Morgana pushes up and the sound of stone scrapping fills the air.The black-haired man jumps up out of the hole before lowering his hand for Akira to grab. The hunter gets lifted up into the room and almost gags as the smell blood and burning flesh seeps into his lungs. Akira’s eyes grow wide as he takes in room and Morgana slides the stone back into place. Dried blood covers the grimy looking floor of the lit chamber. Various instruments of torture are placed around the large room, ranging from small and disturbing to large and deadly. Dried blood also coats some of the devices, but Akira doesn’t stay to find out what else is in the room. He makes a beeline for the door and opens it as slowly as he can before stepping out of the room upon seeing no guards, Morgana follows after.They make fast tracks past the various rooms, trying to find where Kamoshida is in the maze of a palace. Akira rounds the corner, only to be to pulled back by Morgana as a pair of guards appear down the hallway.“Shame that Lord Kamoshida got rid of Sakamoto.”“Yeah, but did you see how dead he was once the lord got him back?”“I wonder what happened…”Another guard joins the walking duo.“It’s too bad we didn’t get a round with him.”“No one got a round with him before Lord Kamoshida sold him off.”“I know, but come on.” The third guard smiles a lewd smile. “He’s grown over the year he escaped; I would’ve liked to see just how much he changed.” Akira’s vision goes red and he attacks the guard with Morgana helping take out the other two.“Where’s Kamoshida?” The hunter holds the guard up and slams him against the wall.“How did-“Akira punches him. “Answer me.”“O-office. Third door to the left.”The hunter lets the man and starts down the hall.“You’re going far out of your way for some whore, you know!”The punch that Morgana and Akira delivers knocks the man out cold and the pair continue on their way. Akira slams open the office doors open, starling Kamoshida as he turns in his chair to glare at the intruders. Morgana closes and locks the door behind him as Akira advances towards the lord. Kamoshida makes to get up, only to have Akira’s daggers pin his hands to the desk. The lord opens his mouth to scream in pain and the hunter slams his hand over his mouth and pushes him back down into the chair.“Where is he.” Akira demands in a low voice.Kamoshida wretches his head out of the hunter’s grip. “Why should I tell you?”Akira pushes down on the daggers, sending them further into the lord’s hands.“He’s not here!”“I can fucking see that. Who did you sell him to?”“…”Another push.“Kaneshiro! I sold him to Kaneshiro! He’s in the werewolf fighting ring!”Akira removes the daggers and grabs Ryuji’s discarded warhammer from the side of the desk.“You know.” Akira stops. “This is where he offered himself up, right on this desk. He tried to muffle his sounds but they came through anyway. I sold him because he was damaged goods and you’re supposed to get rid of dam-“Kamoshida doesn’t finish as Akira slits his throat with lighting fast speed. The lord’s hands fly up to his throat and he stares wide eyed at a stoic Akira. Kamoshida makes a few gurgling noises before falling face first onto his desk, dead still. Akira exits the room with Morgana and makes his way towards the front of the castle where Arsene has teleported in. Akira climbs on with the werecat and they leave the palace, making a beeline for Bank Kingdom. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Akira spurs Arsene into a gallop for the entirety of the trip to Bank, turning a normally six day journey into two. They reach the gates of the rich city where Akira and Morgana dismount from the stallion. After a quick question from a passing bounty hunter; the pair made fast tracks towards the entrance of the underground tunnels. Crystal incased lightning orbs lit the way as the hunters descended into the subterranean market. The hidden marketplace was noisy and crowded as the pair reaches the last set of stairs. The underground tunnels are surprisingly well kept despite the heavy amount of foot traffic. A small river cuts the marketplace in half, the riverbed is littered with crystal covered fire orbs and lighting orbs.Akira leaned against the wall, holding his bleeding side as gray eyes quickly switching from stall to stall in search of some sort of clue to the fighting ring. Morgana climbs up the brick wall, claws latching on tightly as he searches the crowd."See anything?""No. This place is-""Are you two looking from something?"Both of them snap their heads towards the voice. A long hooded robed figure stares at both of them, yellow eyes gleaming from under the hood. Morgana mutters something about unease as Akira responds."We're looking for a werewolf fighting ring."Yellow eyes narrow. "Spectators?""Rescuing someone I love."The figure jerks its head towards the very far end of the tunnel. "May whatever god you believe in have mercy on your lovers' soul. I hope they're not the one on the ring."With that, the figure leaves just as Akira and Morgana take off in that direction. They push through the crown and ignore the insults that are hurled at them. They reach the outside of the stone walled fighting ring and Akira pushes open the heavy metal doors. He is greeted by the sounds of defeating cheers and the smell of blood as Morgana joins his side. A caged wall encases the arena as men and woman of various species lean or hold onto the bars, yelling wildly as a fight from inside the cage goes on. Akira can't see through the massive crowd gathered around the ground floor."Akira!"Akira looks over to see Morgana waving at him from the stair case nearby. The hunter quickly follows, practically leaping up the stairs with haste. The upper floor is less of a mess and less crowded as elevated stands are set against the wall. Kaneshiro watches from his spot in the center of the stands, guards placed on either side of him. Akira glares at him while he clutches his blood soaked side and takes a few deep breaths. Morgana moves past him and peers over the side of the railing. Akira joins after a few moments and his eyes grow wide as a larger white wolf throws Ryuji into the blood soaked caged wall. The white wolf's muzzle is covered in blood and it advances towards the unmoving black canine. Deep wounds litter the werewolf's black pelt as Ryuji's eyes stare blankly at his attacker, making no move to get up."Why isn't he getting up?" Akira's voice is nearly drowned out by the yelling.Morgana responds, pressing close against the hunter as he speaks. "Last time he saw you, you were bleeding and he was being dragged away." Blue eyes move from the dark haired hunter back towards the ring. "He probably thinks you're dead."Akira feels his heart sink as Ryuji is grabbed by his bad leg and is dragged across the ground. The white wolf heaves him up and slams him into the ground."Ryuji!" Akira yells out, hoping to gain the black werewolf's attention. "Ryuji!"Brown eyes blink before moving over to where he heard his name. They widen upon spotting the hunters and he struggles out from under the larger wolf."Oh, now he fights back." Akira can hear the calm voice of Kaneshiro above the noise. "He was practically dead for three days. Maybe now we can get a proper slaughter and move onto the other fights."Akira glares heavily at the king as Ryuji gets to his paws, struggling to stand up under the weight of his wounds. The white lycanthrope rushes forward and Ryuji quickly moves, but soon falls to the ground as he lands wrong on his bad leg. The white wolf doesn't hesitate and clamps its jaws over the black werewolf's neck in a vice grip. Brown eyes go wide just as the wolf tears a chunk out of Ryuji's throat. The crown cheers louder, drowning out Akira and Morgana's yelling. The hunter jumps down, lands in the ring, and rushes at the larger canine. Akira pulls out his daggers and sinks them into the white wolf's back as he jumps on them.The lycanthropes howls out in pain and drops Ryuji's body in favor of trying to shake Akira off. The hunter ignores the cheers and excited yelling as he tightens his grip. Ryuji's breathing heavy, watching them fight from his spot on the ground. The white wolf bucks Akira off, sending him to the ground, and shakes the daggers out of his pelt before jumps the fallen hunter. Akira brings up his arms to block the attack, swallowing down a scream as the wolf's teeth sink into his forearms. The white werewolf increases the pressure, trying to break the hunter's arms as chants ripple through the air. Akira's eyes flick upwards, trying to find Morgana through the crowd only to find the werecat missing.Akira can feel his arms breaking under the increase pressure and he feels helpless. Ryuji's dying and the hunter is about to join him, both dying or soon to the larger alpha above him. Suddenly, a black blur lands on the white wolf's back and rears the larger canine back off of the hunter. Akira watches as Ryuji digs his teeth and claws into the white lycanthrope's neck and snaps the canine's neck, killing it. The werewolf falls bonelessly to the ground and Ryuji lands on his back, transforming back into his human form just as Akira rushes over to him. The hunter takes off his trench coat and presses it against Ryuji's neck as the crowd boos. Akira glares at the spectators, seeing how none of them call for a cleric.Kaneshiro leans over the railing from above, eyes narrowing as gray eyes lock onto the king. He opens his mouth to speak just as a trio of werewolves jumps the ruler. The crowd stares in horror as the canines start tearing Kaneshiro apart, filling the air with yells coming from the king. The crowd starts panicking as more werewolves pour out from all over, each of them jumping the closest person to them. The air fills with screams of pains as Morgana jumps down from the railing and rushes over to Akira and Ryuji. The blond quietly places his hand on top of Akira's, slowly gripping the blood covered hand."S…""Save your breath, Ryuji, please." Akira pleads.The blond tries again. "S…af….e.""What is he-""Safe. He's asking if I'm safe." Akira increases the pressure as more blood gets soaked into the dark fabric. "I'm safe. You killed them."Ryuji lets out a choking laugh, causing him to cough up blood and having it trickle from his mouth. His grip on Akira's hand goes slack before falling to the side, his eyes closing just as the hand hits the ground.Akira feels the world end as he stares down at the blond. "Ryuji? Ryuji! Ryuji, please! Open your eyes!" The hunter places his forehead against the body. "Please…"Akira feels tears fall and the surrounding noise becomes static in his mind. He misses Morgana digging into his pack for something until he feels the instant effects of a teleport orb. Suddenly, the dirty blood covered ground morphs into the glass floor of Pyramid's throne room."Akira!? Morgana!? Why are you-""Ryuji?!""Someone get a cleric, quickly!""Move!"Evening desert air harshly whipped Akira in the face as he and Morgana chased a manticore down the street and into the marketplace, people looked towards the voice before quickly moving out of their path."Why do they have to run?" Morgana whines as he jumps over a thrown box of multicolored fabric.Akira can't help but agree with the werecat as he ducks under another thrown box. The manticore runs further ahead and the dark haired hunter fears that they'll lose the beast until he spots Arsene and a hooded figure walking up the street. The figure was juggling an apple, eyes covered by their hood as they walked alongside the hell horse. Akira can't hide the smile that shows on his face."Hey!" Morgana yells out, apparently he's noticed the figure as well. "Get Titanomachia!"The manticore looks back at the hunters, missing the figure wigging an arm out from its pocket after giving the remainder of the apple to Arsene. Titanomachia lets out a surprise sound as the figure grabs it by its neck and slams it down onto the sandy street, causing dust to fly up into the air. Akira and Morgana catch up as the figure throws off its hood. Morgana takes Titanomachia as Akira helps up the person up after they shake the sand from their gray sailor pants.Akira smiles and nudges the person. "Not so bad for your first catch, Ryuji."Ryuji looks at him and rubs at the back of his neck, jostling the ruby anchor pendent and shading the mangled mess of scars on his neck. Akira chuckles and pulls the blond close, he moves in for a kiss only to have hands cover his mouth."Dude." Ryuji mildly growls, face turning slightly red as his eyes shift away. "We're in public.""And?" Comes Akira's muffled response.Nearby, a group of women spot them and giggle at Akira's attempt at kissing the blond."Seems the prince has flustered his love once again.""Lucky. He gets to have Prince Akira's undying love."Ryuji's face gets darker as Akira lets loose a laugh, burying his face in the warm shoulder before him. They walk back to the castle with Arsene following them; Morgana catches up with them as they pass by the bounty hunter tavern. Night falls as they enter the palace and Arsene departs for the stable while Morgana walks towards the garden. The pair makes their way into the palace, passing Ann and Futaba on their way to Akira's room. The women make kissing noises at the men, causing Ryuji's face to redden and snap at them while Akira gives a smile and pulls the werewolf closer to him. The blond mutters under his breath as the hunter bides the ladies goodnight. Akira opens the door to his bed room and Ryuji strolls in, setting his weapon besides Yusuke's katana, Akechi's saber, and Mishima's lance.Akira turns on the lights, casting the room in a warm glow and sets his weapons next to the others. The off white of the walls is barely visible under the amount of paintings hanging on the wall. On one side of the massive bedroom sits an easel near one of the windows, paints and brushes put up neatly in the cupboard under the windowsill. On the other side, a trio of large bookcases is pressed up against the wall. Besides the cases, a mahogany desk sits, facing them with papers scattered across the smooth and polished surface. On the floor in front of the fireplace, lay tools and other helpful looking knick knacks with a polishing and sharpening stone sitting among them. An extra-large bed sits on a mahogany bed frame that's pressed up against the back wall, on the mattress lay white sheets and a dark brown comforter.At the foot of the bed, an equally extra-large mahogany dresser stood against the edge of the footboard. Above the bed, the bones of a Harlen Dragon Quake and a picture attached to it were mounted on the wall. In the center of the room, a polished mahogany table sits between pair of dark colored couches. Ryuji walks over to one of the curtained widows and unlocks the doors; he opens balcony doors causing the room to be filled with the cold air. He steps out and leans against the railing; Akira follows him and stands beside him. Together, they look up towards the beautiful night sky above.The normally dark sky is filled with stars of varying sizes and brightness; there were long streaks of blue and splashes of white among them. Ryuji leans on Akira, who wraps an arm around him in response."Hey.""Hm?""I didn't get my kiss from earlier."Ryuji moves away and levels the fluffy haired hunter with a soft glare, Akira just smiles and points at his lips. The blond sighs before giving the prince a kiss, said prince wraps his arms around the werewolf's waist and brings him closer to deepen the kiss. In the end, despite everything the pair had faced, Akira was glad he met Ryuji.
11212485	Aperitif	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Arthur (Inception), Eames (Inception)", "Fandom": "Inception (2010)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Explicit", "author": "by bauble", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-16T00:00:00", "words": "6,968", "Additional Tags": "Alternate Universe, Coda", "Relationship": "Arthur/Eames (Inception)", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": "Amuse-Bouche", "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	After a thoroughly satisfying steak dinner, they load the plates and silverware into Eames' stainless steel monster of a dishwasher. It and the refrigerator (which has a built-in LCD screen that displays current temperature, ice levels, and the local news) feel almost anachronistic in Eames' home, which is filled with heavy antique furniture, oriental rugs, and even what appear to be deer heads mounted on the walls. Eames had given him a brief tour—but had also been naked at the time—so Arthur doesn't remember much about the house. Maybe anything about the house. "You hunt?" Arthur asks, startling a bit when he catches dead eyes in his peripheral vision. "What?" Eames seems confused until he follows Arthur's gaze. "Oh, no, that's been there since—well, I don't know, actually. As long as I can remember." "You didn't swindle a local lord out of his title and land holdings, did you?" Arthur asks, eying his surroundings with a bit more suspicion. Everything's intricately carved and smells aged—clean, but old. "Arthur, really," Eames says, chuckling, as if living in a house decorated like the set of an English period drama couldn't be more normal. Then Arthur remembers that Eames has been touring for the past ten years and famous for the past five, so his idea of normal probably isn't anything Arthur would even recognize. It does explain the taxidermic mouse hat, though. "Where are you staying in London?" Arthur tears his eyes away from the scrolling news headline announcing the year's Michelin Bib Gourmand winners. "At the Excel Novotel." "That's by the O2 Arena, yes?" At Arthur's nod, Eames frowns slightly. "Rather far, isn't it?" Arthur shrugs. "It's a decent hotel for what I'm paying, even if the location isn't the best. I got a deal on Priceline." "Listen to you—a veritable internet bargain hunter already," Eames says fondly as he presses a slightly hesitant kiss to Arthur's cheek. Eames still seems shy about initiating physical affection even after all they've done together, and it's a little strange, but also oddly endearing. When Arthur strokes the small of Eames' back encouragingly, he beams. "Care for some tea?" "I'd love some," Arthur replies. Eames pulls two cups from the cabinet and says, almost casually, "It's gotten to be quite late, hasn't it? Seems like there's hardly a point in you heading back at this hour." Arthur leans against the counter and raises an eyebrow. "You asking me to stay?" "Yes."Eames smiles his thousand-watt smile at Arthur again. "As long as you'd like." * * * * * * The upstairs of Eames' house is decorated in the same manner as the downstairs with an unsettling addition: numerous paintings of dour people hanging all over the walls. There's a faint resemblance that ties them to Eames—even the ones in wigs and ruffled collars—so it's probably a fair guess that they're deceased relatives of some sort. All of the eyes seem to follow Arthur as he passes, mouths drawn in disapproving lines. Unfortunately, the painting display area is not limited to the hallway, as Arthur had hoped. There's a life-size portrait of a stern woman standing beside three young children in very uncomfortable-looking riding outfits. It hangs on the wall directly opposite Eames' four-poster canopied bed, and Arthur feels the woman watching him as he climbs on it. Arthur pulls Eames on top of him, successfully blocking her from view, and pushes the painting out of his mind as he settles into kissing Eames. They take it more slowly this time, drawing out the process of undressing and savoring the chance to examine each other. Aside from the excellent physical attributes of Eames' mouth, he's a wonderful kisser: the perfect mix of desire to please and confidence. Every now and again, he pulls back a few inches to cup Arthur's jaw and just—look. "I can't believe you're really here," Eames says, smile crooked but eyes serious. "It almost feels like a dream." "I could pinch you if you'd like," Arthur says, fingers skimming down Eames' side. "See if you wake up." Eames shies away from the fingers with a startled laugh. "Thank you for the offer, but if this is a dream, I think I'd like to stay a while longer." "Mm," Arthur says, fingers drifting up to rest on Eames' bicep. "Ticklish?" "A bit. Mostly along my sides and my belly," Eames replies, working a thigh between Arthur's legs and letting him grind against it. "And you?" "The undersides of my arms, the bottoms of my feet, and my waist," Arthur lists off easily. "Now, I'm going to tell you something and you have to promise you won't abuse this knowledge." "Ooh, secrets," Eames says, practically wriggling in excitement. "I love secrets. Do tell me it's something salacious." "It's about the tickling. I—well." Even after all these years, it's sometimes hard for Arthur to say. "Maybe I should just show you." Arthur presses the line of his half-hard dick to Eames' leg, then brings Eames' fingertips down to brush against his armpit, squirming almost immediately upon contact. "Tickle me until I say stop." Eames slants Arthur an amused look but obeys, fingertips ghosting against skin as Arthur begins to laugh helplessly, almost convulsively. Arthur's dick goes from half-hard to fully hard in less than twenty seconds of this, Eames' eyes widening as he looks down and realizes what's happening. By the time Arthur chokes out, "Stop, stop," he's embarrassingly close to the edge of coming, just from the feel of Eames' leg against his cock and Eames' fingers against his armpit. "Are you…" Eames starts, wonderingly, while Arthur tries to catch his breath. "Yeah, it's intense. And can be inconvenient," Arthur replies. "It's actually part of why I started wearing so many layers—made it less likely that I'd brush up against something and spring a random boner." Eames strokes a thumb over Arthur's cheek. "And here I thought you couldn't be any more adorable." "I prefer devastatingly sexy, but I guess I'll take adorable." "Adorably, devastatingly sexy," Eames murmurs as he begins to move his hips against Arthur's with more purpose. "Devastatingly, sexily adorable." "Better," Arthur murmurs as he ruts back. He slides one hand along Eames' back (which is muscular and perfect, just fucking perfect), and the other down the curve of Eames' ass, thumb gliding ever so gently against his hole. Arthur notes the hitch in Eames' breathing at the contact, the way he pauses, as if uncertain whether to move forward for more friction or backwards for more contact. Arthur doesn't go any further, but files away Eames' reaction for the future. "I'm glad I'm here, too," Arthur says softly as they begin to move, hips slotting together and Eames' wet cock heavy against his thigh. They move slightly out of sync, never managing to get it exactly right, but it's good nevertheless and Eames continues kissing him sweetly through it. They come like that, frotting with heavy breaths in between lingering kisses. Afterwards, Arthur dozes while Eames gets up and returns with a warm washcloth to clean them both off. When he gets back into bed, Arthur beckons him over, waiting till the warmth of Eames' body is tucked up against his side before asking, "You have anything to do in the morning?" Eames snuggles closer, laying his cheek on Arthur's chest. "Aside from making you breakfast, no, no plans." "Breakfast sounds nice," Arthur murmurs sleepily, kissing the top of Eames' head before dropping off to sleep. * * * * * * Arthur wakes up to the sound of the shower running in the adjoining bathroom and warm sunshine on his skin. He stretches and opens his eyes— -- to meet the stern gaze of one of Eames' aristocratic relatives from across the room. Arthur jerks back on the bed, heart pounding for a few seconds before he realizes: no, Eames did not let a middle-aged woman in to ogle Arthur while he slept, it's just that portrait being creepy even in the bright light of day. "Good morning," Eames says as he wanders out of the bathroom, rubbing his wet hair with a towel. He's wearing another towel around his waist and nothing else. "Sleep alright?" "Wonderfully," Arthur says, trying to decide what he's more distracted by: the three little girls staring him down or Eames in a tiny towel. Eames wins. "You?" "Never better." Eames wanders over to the side of the bed and gives Arthur a kiss on the nose. "Now, would you prefer your morning blowjob or your morning breakfast and coffee first?" "Hm." Arthur reaches out to tug at Eames' towel until it falls to the ground, "It's a difficult call. What does breakfast entail, exactly?" "Three eggs, cooked in the manner of your choice." Eames gets onto the bed, eyes visibly darkening when he sees Arthur lick his lips. "And some Cumberland sausage." "Yes, please," Arthur whispers as he watches Eames' dick begin to fill. He wants to put his mouth around it, feel it grow plump and heavy on his tongue, taste Eames all the way down his throat again. Eames smiles as he straddles Arthur's knees and puts a palm on his lower abdomen. "Yes to what, exactly? Specificity, my dear." Instead of waiting for an answer, Eames bends down to take all of Arthur's dick in one swallow. Arthur chokes on a breath because: one, it feels fucking fantastic and two, it's impressive as hell. The corner of Eames' eyes crinkle up in amusement as he begins to suck, eyes locked with Arthur's as he works. Arthur runs his fingers through Eames' hair distractedly, trying not to lose himself in the wet, velvety heat too fast. It's a futile struggle, though, especially with Eames watching, so Arthur squeezes one of Eames' broad shoulders and says, "I'm close, I'm really close." Instead of backing off, Eames hums, the vibration traveling from the inside of his throat down the length of Arthur's dick, making him shudder and groan. A few seconds later and Arthur's coming, Eames swallowing without missing a beat. "Shit," Arthur rasps as he watches Eames sit back and swipe the back of his hand over his mouth. "Come here." At Arthur's urging, Eames crawls forward on his knees until he's straddling Arthur's shoulders, powerful thighs straining with the effort. "Christ, you're flexible," Arthur says as he stares down Eames' flushed red cock. He brings his arms up to wrap around Eames' legs, stroking his hips, the lines of his tattoos. "You're going to have to feed it to me because I can't—" "Arthur." Eames reaches out to support himself with one arm against the headboard, closing his other fist around his cock. "I'm not going to last." "I know," Arthur says, trying to get Eames to move a little closer. "Let me take you there, okay? Let me take care of you." Eames guides his dick between Arthur's lips, the head so big and slick with precome Arthur can't help but moan at the taste of it. Eames only manages a few shallow thrusts before he's coming, the flavor of him flooding Arthur's mouth, warm and honeyed. Arthur sucks happily, chasing every drop until Eames pulls away, tilting over onto the bed next to him. Arthur rolls over to kiss Eames, enjoying the mingled tastes of them both. "Thanks." "And thank you as well," Eames says, smiling. "I do actually have Cumberland sausage, you know. That wasn't meant to be a euphemism." "I didn't think it was," Arthur says as he pets Eames' heaving chest. "I just happen to like sausage of all kinds." "Mm, Arthur," Eames says, grinning as Arthur leans in for another kiss. "You are a naughty thing." * * * * * * Breakfast is good, consisting of scrambled eggs and non-euphemistic Cumberland sausage and a fresh pot of coffee. As tempting as it is to linger with Eames, Arthur forces himself to go back to his hotel shortly after noon. He catches up with email for a few hours before hitting the gym and taking a brief, exploratory walk around the neighborhood, which consists of pretty but otherwise boring docks. That evening, he gets a mysterious text message from Eames containing only a less-than sign and a three. When he brings it up during his pre-arranged Skype appointment with Una, she laughs at him for five minutes straight and then tells him it's a sideways heart. "You gonna sext with him?" she asks. "He seems pretty tech-savvy. You may need to up your game." "I don't understand sexting," Arthur says. "Can't I buy him something instead?" "Didn't you say he lives in a mansion out of the board-game Clue?" Una replies. "I don't think a rich, big-time celebrity needs more stuff. I think what he needs is more fun." "Sexting is fun?" Arthur says doubtfully, looking down at the heart on his phone. "Sure. It's like sending naked photos—digital foreplay." "I'm pretty sure Constanza would kill Eames and me both if we started sending naked photos to each other," Arthur says. "Apparently some of the tabloids in London hack celebrity phones on a regular basis." "Well, that's unsettling," Una comments, pausing a moment to think. "Suggestive photos and texts, then. Stuff that's flirtatious and lets him know what's on your mind, but isn't like, I want your engorged, throbbing manmeat." "First of all, you should never use the phrase 'engorged, throbbing manmeat' ever again," he says. "Secondly: we have weird conversations sometimes." "I know." She heaves a huge sigh. "I guess this is what happens when your dad's a hippie sex ed teacher." * * * * * * EAMES (sent at 6:48): <3ARTHUR (sent at 7:15): :0ARTHUR (sent at 7:16): Oh shit, that's supposed to be a )ARTHUR (sent at 7:17): I mean a :)EAMES (sent at 7:18): well, I like ur face either way. ;)ARTHUR (sent at 7:19): :9ARTHUR (sent at 7:19): <3 * * * * * * London is nice—filled with old buildings and parks and lots of rain. It takes a few weeks to find an apartment; the first week they tour beautiful spaces with rent amounts containing so many digits Arthur nearly keels over while Eames and his real estate agent discuss the beautiful crown molding. It isn't until sometime in the second week that Arthur realizes he needs to call Cobb; Eames apparently lives in an alternate reality where crown moldings are an excellent investment and money grows on trees. With Cobb's help, Arthur finds a nice, furnished apartment near Charing Cross the size of a matchbox. Eames comes by the day after Arthur moves in with a bottle of red wine that's probably worth more than everything Arthur owns put together. They eat, drink, and celebrate with sloppy blowjobs on the hideous brown couch that came with the place. A week after, training for Arthur's job at Browning-Morrow starts. Arthur's doing a fairly standard 9-5 for the duration of the training, but Eames has started recording his new album, which involves spending long, somewhat unpredictable hours at the studio. He does, however, offer to give Arthur a tour the next time they're on the phone together. "If you come by, I can show you all the intricacies that go into recording sounds and noises you have no interest in listening to," Eames says. Arthur laughs. "I like some of it. Sort of. Your music's growing on me." "That is precisely the type of lukewarm sentiment I live for," Eames replies while Arthur continues to laugh. Arthur usually spends weekends at Eames' house because it makes the security situation easier (having two guards waiting on the other side of the bedroom door in his apartment is a slightly surreal role reversal). He doesn't mind for the most part; he's gotten used to the weird bear rugs and deer heads, and it's not as if Arthur's apartment reflects any of his own tastes either. There's just one thing— "So that portrait over there," Arthur starts one night while they're lying in bed together. "Hm?" Eames raises his head off Arthur's chest to peer at the wall. "Oh, yes. One of my great-great-grandmothers and her triplets. Two died as infants, so only the one in the middle is based off a real child." After a moment, Arthur says, "That is possibly the most disturbing thing I've ever heard in my entire life. Ghost children are staring at my cock and balls." "Your prick and balls are absolutely lovely, and if Laetitia and Gwladys were alive today, I'm sure they'd agree." Eames pauses. "Alright, I see your point." Arthur laughs. "Exactly how long has that painting been there?" "Before I was born, I think. I spent the odd summer here when I was growing up, and officially moved in when I finished University. Of course, I started touring shortly after that, so it's rare for me to be at home for more than a few months at a time." Eames cocks his head to one side. "My god, it's been nearly a decade. Perhaps it is time for a change." He sits up and goes to the far end of the bed, pulling the canopy curtains shut—effectively blocking the painting from view. "Better?" Arthur smiles. "Much." The next time Arthur visits, the painting is gone, and so are all the mounted deer heads. * * * * * * They go to see a show in West End—a musical. Arthur agrees because it's clear that Eames really wants him to go, and probably harbors a secret hope that the live theater and dancing will lure Arthur into enjoying the music as well. Arthur gives it a shot because he's not one to rule out anything without at least a trial run, even if privately he's pretty sure it's a lost cause. He doesn't mention to Eames that he's slept through every single movie musical he's ever watched--to the great dismay of many a boyfriend, sister, and date. The show ends up being moderately entertaining, but all the key emotional moments are expressed in song rather than dialogue. They've got great seats so it's easy to appreciate the costumes, finely crafted set, and dance numbers, and Arthur tries to focus on those things while he waits for the songs to be over. Eames seems captivated by the musical performances, eyes aglow with emotion. Arthur looks over at him whenever the show starts to bore and smiles, reminding himself that the musical's not really why he's here anyway. During the intermission, Arthur says, "You could do that." Eames raises an eyebrow. "Pardon?" "You could sing and dance on one of these stages. Play the Phantom." "Really?" Eames glances over at the stage. "Well, I hardly have any acting experience." "So you take classes, you practice, and you train." Arthur shrugs. "You learn how and then you do it." Eames turns to look at Arthur, eyes wide and thoughtful. "You really mean it, don't you?" "Of course." Arthur takes Eames' hand in his. "You can do anything." That smile that lights up Eames' face is dazzling. * * * * * * 96.8 Capital FM - Early Mornings with Sandra transcript excerpt:SANDRA: You are one of the most eligible bachelors in all of England according to the list that was printed in--EAMES: Oh good lord, a list!SANDRA: A list indeed, yes, very authoritative, you know. Next to Wikipedia and anonymous sources online--EAMES: You know if it's on the internet, it must be true.SANDRA: Yes, precisely. (SANDRA laughs.) So what's an eligible bachelor--a wealthy, handsome--EAMES: Why thank you.SANDRA: --exceedingly charismatic bloke like yourself doing, still single? Or have you been holding out on the world? What's the scoop on your love life?EAMES: It's--well, I wouldn't describe it as as holding out, per se--SANDRA: Merely commonplace evasiveness, I'd wager.EAMES: (laughter) Sandra, you're killing me!SANDRA: Come on, give me something--the mystery is killing me and my listeners!EAMES: Alright, there is someone I fancy rather a lot. (EAMES chuckles). It's a little embarrassing, actually. I feel like a teenager again, giddy with my first crush.SANDRA: Are you blushing? You are, aren't you! Do they know how taken you are with them?EAMES: Mm, yes and no. We've been seeing each other a few weeks now, so obviously they know to some extent. But if they knew how often I thought of them or spoke of them, I'm afraid they'd run screaming back to America.SANDRA: An American, then?EAMES: I can neither confirm nor deny--SANDRA: So wily, this one! How'd you meet?EAMES: I can't say without giving it away, I'm afraid. It is terribly romantic, though—an excellent story.SANDRA: You are the world's worst tease. EAMES: I don't mean to be, I promise.SANDRA: He's batting his eyes at me as if that will make it all better. The worst part about it is that it's working. It's absolutely working, because you, sir, are far too charming for your own good.EAMES: You flatter me, Sandra. SANDRA: Are they famous? Did you go chatting up some fit American celebrity?EAMES: They're gorgeous, really well fit—but as to the rest, I couldn't say.SANDRA: And there you have it, lads and ladies. The heart of England's most eligible bachelor has been taken off the market by some scamp from the US of A. Tune in after the break to hear a clip, fresh from the studio, of what Eames has been working on for his untitled new album. * * * * * * Arthur agrees to try out the opera because Eames has tickets for a private box and Mal had to cancel at the last moment on account of a doctor's appointment. It's a matinee showing, which means Arthur should be wide awake on a Saturday afternoon, but he'd severely underestimated the soporific effects of listening to people bellowing their feelings in a language he only somewhat understands. Eames is enthralled and Arthur tries, he honestly does, but between the cushy velvet seats, the darkened auditorium, and the monotonous singing, he's lost the game to sleep before he even began playing. He's startled awake when he feels something heavy and warm on his knee. He blinks hard, then glances over at Eames, who is still watching the stage in rapt fascination. Eames' hand, however, slides up Arthur's thigh to cup his groin, and Arthur is briefly shocked before he remembers they're sitting alone in their own balcony. It even comes with a private room with more seating, champagne, and closets for their coats. Arthur stares down blankly as those fingers deftly undo his zipper. Eames doesn't look over, and still seems to be watching the opera. After a moment, Arthur leans back and relaxes into the touch, undoing his belt buckle to make things easier. When Eames slips through the slit in Arthur's briefs to palm his dick, Arthur sighs and spreads his legs. Arthur's never been one for public sex—always seemed like too high-risk to be worth it—but in the privacy of their balcony, with the guard-rail and the darkness blocking everything from view, he can relax enough to let go. To sigh quietly when Eames' clever fingers begin jerking him in earnest, to let his eyes shut and his head fall back as he comes into Eames' waiting hand. When Arthur opens his eyes, Eames still isn't looking at him. He is, however, licking Arthur's come right off his fingers. Arthur takes a few moments to zip himself back up and put his clothing to rights. He's much more alert now, and patiently waits out the last few songs before the intermission starts. "Coat room, pants off, now," Arthur says while Eames grins mischievously back at him. The second act of the opera has them both a little sleepy, but at least Arthur's got the taste of Eames on his tongue to keep him occupied. * * * * * * "I bought condoms today," Eames says, and Arthur looks up from his duck confit. They're eating in the closed off back of a Michelin three-star restaurant, Eames' bodyguards (including Flowers) at the far end of the room, conversing quietly and eating. Eames is staring determinedly down at this plate, his voice low. "They're ribbed and come, ah, highly recommended." "Mal likes them, huh?" Arthur says. He's had boyfriends in the past who weren't wild about anything anal, and aside from their first day together, Eames hadn't exhibited any signs of interest in taking their sexual activities in that direction. Arthur's not too picky about the specifics of what they do as long as there are orgasms and Eames' dick involved, so he's been mostly content with the status quo. Arthur supposes this is Eames broaching the topic in his own roundabout way—despite the growing comfort between them, Eames' occasional bouts of shyness haven't faded. Luckily for Arthur, there are only so many condom-related conclusions to draw here, unless Eames has a secret passion for water balloon fights. "She did, yes," Eames says, pinking further. "So you want to…" Arthur trails off, hoping Eames will jump in with more helpful details. "Only if you do!" Eames replies, digging into his steak tartare with too much enthusiasm to be fully genuine. "We don't have to. I am very happy with how things are going at the moment. Overjoyed, in fact. I merely thought, perhaps. Well, you know." "Sure, yeah," Arthur says, not entirely sure what he's agreeing to. He tries to remember when the last time he used the bathroom was; he had a big lunch. "I'm game if you are." "Wonderful," Eames says, sounding relieved. He starts talking about a producer he's working with, leaving the condoms and what they may or may not be doing tonight resolutely behind. Arthur shrugs mentally and lets it go. Hopefully, Eames will do something helpful like get on his hands and knees, or tell Arthur to lay back and spread his legs. Those would be pretty clear clues. Over Eames' shoulder, Flowers winks and gives Arthur a thumbs up. * * * * * * When they get back to the house, a package of condoms and bottle of lube are sitting on the nightstand. Arthur waits for Eames to say something like, I want to fuck you or I want you to fuck me, but all he does is get on the bed and beckon Arthur over. They make out for a while, lying on their sides after they get their clothes off. It's good, it's relaxing, and it's confusing as hell since Arthur's not sure whether to be ready for entry (don't get too excited, try to pace yourself) or ready to be pounded into the mattress (proceed full-steam ahead). Eames makes no clear moves either way and finally Arthur pulls back. "So you want to…?" "Absolutely, yes I do," Eames says, eyes bright as he lies there like a lump. A sexy, thoroughly unhelpful lump. Arthur moves for the condoms and the lube, but when Eames continues to do nothing, is forced to finally stop and sigh. "Okay, you're going to have to help me out here. Am I topping, or are you?" Eames' eyes widen almost comically. "I, ah, well, I mean—if you wouldn't mind, that is—if you'd be so kind as to—" "Eames." Arthur reaches out to cup his jaw. "Are you okay?" "I—" His gaze cuts away from Arthur as he lets out a small puff of breath. "It's been a while since I last—that is to say, years. Quite a few of them, in fact." Arthur strokes his cheek, feeling the rough texture of his 5 o'clock shadow over surprisingly soft skin. "You don't sleep with people until you get to know them. And before that, you were with Solange, right?" "Perhaps she'd have been open to this sort of thing, but it never seemed necessary," Eames says. "After her, there hasn’t been anybody that I've wanted to—well. Do this with." "So you're like a virgin, is what you're saying," Arthur deadpans. Eames lets out a startled laugh. "Yes, exactly. Touched for the very first time." Arthur smiles as he looks down at Eames, with his crooked teeth and the deep furrows in his forehead and the creases around his eyes. He's wonderful, he's bashful, he's handsome—he's so many things Arthur never knew he wanted. "I don't know any more of the lyrics." "I'm impressed that you knew it was a song." Eames turns his face to kiss Arthur's palm. "We'll take it slow, okay?" Arthur says, leaning forward to brush Eames' lips with his own. Beneath him, Eames nods slightly. Arthur runs his thumbs up Eames' inner thighs, feeling the tension strumming beneath the surface as his legs spread. He bends down to kiss Eames' half-hard cock, his balls, his perineum. Eames smells as good as he always does—musky but clean, heady. Arthur takes a deep breath before pulling back to meet Eames' eyes again. "Do you want me to eat you out? Finger you?" "A few fingers to start." Eames strokes Arthur's neck, his ear. "But I'd like to see you, I think." "Such a romantic," Arthur murmurs as he drizzles lube on his fingers. "You're—" Eames halts, and Arthur looks up at him quizzically. "You're one of the most beautiful men I've ever met. I don’t know if I've told you that before." Arthur blinks and looks down at his fingers—there's more than enough lube by now. "That's—no. I don't think you've ever told me that." "I know it sounds cheesy, but it's not a line," Eames says as he takes Arthur's fingers and guides them to his entrance. "After all, I've already gotten you into bed, so it's not as if I need lies or flattery anymore." Arthur smiles as he presses his index finger in slowly. Eames tenses and Arthur touches his stomach, begins rubbing in soothing circles. "You may have gotten me here, but what's going to keep me coming back?" "My—my sparkling wit," Eames says, belly jumping underneath Arthur's hand. "My access to designer menswear." "The free clothing is a perk," Arthur says thoughtfully, moving his fingertip around experimentally until Eames gasps. "I guess maybe I'll stick around." Eames spreads his legs wider as Arthur adds a second finger. "Knew you'd see it, ah, my way." "Mm." Arthur keeps it gentle, curling and uncurling his fingers as Eames' breathing grows heavier, his dick hardens and curves back, precome smearing across the lines of his abdomen. When he graduates to pumping in and out, Eames bites his lip and groans. "You want to come like this, baby? You want me to suck you off?" "Yes. No. I don't—" Eames reaches down to roll his balls and fuck if all Arthur wants to do is shove his face down there and join him. But the view of Eames' sculpted body twisting and straining on the bed—this is good too. "Another finger and then I'll decide. Just don't—don't stop." "You look so good like this," Arthur says as he drizzles more lube and then presses inward again, to where it's hot and so, so tight. He suddenly realizes that all this will be clutching around his cock soon, clenching and milking him dry, and the thought makes him a little dizzy. "Oh my god." Eames moans as Arthur begins to stroke inside, eyes fluttering shut and back arching. "That's—yes—there, right there—" "Fuck, Eames," Arthur rasps, watching him writhe and moan. "You make me want to come just watching you." "Your prick." Eames reaches out blindly for a condom and tears the package open with his teeth. "Do it now." Arthur withdraws and puts on the condom, hands a little unsteady with the weight of Eames's gaze. Arthur lifts Eames' legs in the air and kisses the back of each knee as he lines himself up, waiting for Eames to meet his eyes before saying, "Okay?" "Yes," Eames whispers, lips parted and eyes open. "Yes." Arthur pushes in carefully, pausing when just the head is inside, waiting for the discomfort on Eames' face to dissipate before he goes further. It's good, it's so good, and Arthur almost can't believe he went without it for this long—what the fuck was he thinking? It's amazing, addictive, this feeling of being inside Eames, of feeling Eames beneath him and all around him. Arthur closes his eyes, forehead coming to rest on the center of Eames' chest, sucking deep breaths through his nostrils so he doesn't lose control in two thrusts. "It's alright, darling," Eames murmurs as he runs his fingers through Arthur's hair. "It's alright." Arthur raises his head and opens his eyes, nodding once. Eames' hands clutch at his shoulders as Arthur experiments with the angle, and when Eames groans and digs in with his fingernails, Arthur knows he's found it. He hikes one of Eames' legs up further in the air so he can wrap a hand around Eames' dick and continue thrusting. "Oh my god," Eames moans, the tendons of his neck straining as he tosses his head back, eyes fluttering shut. "There, Arthur, that's so—you're so—" Arthur picks up speed minutely—it's difficult, focusing on his hips and jerking Eames off at the same time—but it seems to be enough. Eames is gasping incoherent babble and Arthur's name, lost in pleasure and no longer shy, no longer hesitant. Arthur thrusts and works Eames' cock until he shouts and clenches down like a motherfucking vise on Arthur's dick. Between the sounds of Eames' orgasm and the grip of him, Arthur's done for, managing a few ragged thrusts before he comes, too. When Arthur opens his eyes, he discovers that his face is mashed to Eames' chest again, body slumped in a way that cannot be comfortable for Eames. Arthur lifts his head and Eames leans forward to rain kisses all over his face, whispering things like, "You're amazing," and "you made me feel so good, Arthur," and, "you make me so happy." Arthur lets himself sag again, basking in their closeness while Eames pets his hair and soothes him. Eventually, Arthur cobbles enough brain cells together to sit up. Eames sits up also, helping to take the condom off before getting up to throw it out. He returns with a warm washcloth and Arthur offers him a sleepy smile. After Eames is done wiping Arthur down, he pulls up the covers and flings a heavy arm over Arthur's waist. "Thanks," Arthur says as they exchange a drowsy kiss, "for trusting me." "And thank you for your patience," Eames replies, voice low. "I know I can be a bit—oblique when it comes to matters in the bedroom. It probably seems odd considering what I sing about and how I act onstage, but this isn't a show or a persona, and I can't—I don't want to hide behind a mask with you." "You don't have to be scared of telling me what you want," Arthur says. "All I want is you. Not some guy onstage, performing for me every night." * * * * * * The next morning, Arthur wakes up to Eames' mouth on his dick and absolutely everything right in the world. Once he's returned the favor, they flop back on the bed to catch their breath. Arthur props himself up on one arm to admire Eames' pecs and ruffle the light hair that's starting to grow in. "I should warn you," Eames says, "odds are rather high that I'll be writing about you in the near future." "It's gonna be about how I'm a stallion in bed, right?" Arthur yawns and lays his head down on Eames' chest contentedly. "But of course." Eames chuckles, and Arthur can feel the rumble as much as hear it. "I may also be, ah, writing about my feelings. For you." Arthur opens one eye. "You've already started, haven't you?" Eames looks down at Arthur with wide eyes, trying to appear innocent. "Moi?" "That coy look may work on star-struck interviewers, but it's not going to work on me," Arthur says, tweaking Eames' nose and laughing at the resulting indignant expression. "It's fine. Write whatever you want, sing whatever you want. But if there's something you really want to tell me, you should probably say it directly because I might not get it from the song." "You mean I shouldn't attempt to woo you with further impromptu acapella serenades?" Eames replies, eyes crinkling at the corners. "Is that what you were trying to do at the tour kickoff party?" Arthur furrows his brow. "Woo me?" "This may shock you, but all my previous attempts to curry romantic favor with song were met with very warm receptions." Eames' hand comes down to pet Arthur's hair. "Of course, then you had to go and bollocks up my perfect record." "Well, I guess this can still be considered a success," Arthur says agreeably. "You got me in the end, right?" Eames' hand stills for a moment before resuming. "Yes, I suppose I did." Arthur closes his eyes, ready to doze off again when Eames says, "It's good, what we have—don't you think?" "Yeah," Arthur says, rousing himself a bit. "This is nice." "I hope you won't consider this too forward oor too early, but I should very much like to see you exclusively, Arthur. To be—together. As more than consistent weekend dates. What do you think?" My boyfriend, Eames, Arthur tests out in his mind. My partner, Eames. "I think," Arthur starts, sitting up so he can look at Eames, see his beautiful, thoughtful face, "I think I'd like that." * * * * * * At work, the training's coming to an end. Arthur's being sent out to shadow other guards in the field more often, and even if there's nothing he hasn't seen before, it's good to get some informal contact with the clients—mostly businessmen and politicians. By and large, they're somber old men who aren't rude, exactly, but also aren't used to not getting what they want. Arthur supposes they're not that different from most of the other clients he's dealt with. Browning assures him that the extensive training isn't a reflection of his confidence in Arthur's skill, but more of a way to ensure uniformity across the entire firm. "We like things done a certain way at this company," Browning explains. "And clients value things like consistency and reliability." Fair enough, Arthur thinks. It's been pretty boring so far, but as long as he eventually gets to go out and do some real work, he's not complaining. There's only one problem looming on the horizon that Arthur can see, which is this: while he's friendly with most of his coworkers, he hasn't managed to make any actual allies within the firm yet. He suspects it's largely due to the fact that he keeps declining invitations to go out and socialize after the workday's over. It's hard to join in conversations when everyone's talking about the hilarious thing that happened at the pub yesterday night--which, of course, he was not there to witness. Arthur's not naïve; before he was a freelancing bodyguard, he was a commissioned officer, and if there's one thing the military taught him it's that politics are as important as working hard when it comes to opportunities for advancement. He needs to be doing more in his new job, especially in the first year, but it's difficult to remember that when Eames asks if he wants to go to a new restaurant that just opened, or if he'd like to see the new non-musical play that's been getting glowing reviews. It's hard to say no when Eames' purr across the phone is, itself, a dirty promise. Next week I'll go, Arthur always thinks when Redding and Pinkerton and Hull all head off for a drink. Next week I'll explain to Eames. * * * * * * "The Grammy's are coming up," Eames says one night while they're lying in bed together, sated and sleepy. "Less than two months away." "They're going to be out in LA, right?" Arthur says. "You gonna be flying Stateside to get started on rehearsals?" "Yeah, in a few weeks. Once I've pinned down most of the choreography and run it all past Constanza." Eames fiddles with Arthur's hand, turning it over and stroking the lines and grooves. "I was actually wondering if you might be interested in flying out and being—being my date. I'm afraid I shall be rather busy all evening, what with the performance, but I'd really love it if—well, I'd love to share the night with you." "Eames," Arthur says, touched. "I'd love to. I'll have to request time off from work, but Browning likes my celebrity connections so I think it'll be fine. I wouldn't be able to stay long, and I don't have anything to wear—" "We can schedule you an appointment on Savile Row," Eames says immediately. "I can cover all your expenses for the suit, and the flight, and you can stay in my hotel—" "You don't need to—" "I just really want you to be there." Eames tips his face forward until his forehead's resting against Arthur's. "It's selfish of me to ask you to fly to another country for a night, which is why I'm offering." "Well, it's not like I get nothing out of attending a glitzy awards show," Arthur replies, grinning. "Always thought I'd be working if I ever got to attend, though, not walking down the red carpet." "You will be magnificent," Eames promises. "The handsomest one there. People will be wanking to your red carpet footage for months to come." Arthur laughs as he tugs Eames in for a kiss. "I love how good you are for my ego." "And you for mine, my dear," Eames replies. "And you for mine." fin
11272020	After the Storm	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": null, "Characters": "Leo Fitz, Jemma Simmons, Skye \| Daisy Johnson, Lincoln Campbell, Lance Hunter, Bobbi Morse, Phil Coulson, Grant Ward", "Fandom": "Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by ComicKid99", "chapters": "13/?", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-22T00:00:00", "words": "54,071", "Additional Tags": "Misfits AU, Romance, Humour, FitzSimmons - Freeform, static quake - Freeform, Skyeward - Freeform, Huntingird, Philinda - Freeform, Agents of SHIELD, misfits - Freeform", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "Leo Fitz & Jemma Simmons, Leo Fitz/Jemma Simmons, Lance Hunter/Bobbi Morse, Lincoln Campbell/Skye \| Daisy Johnson, Jemma Simmons & Skye \| Daisy Johnson", "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": "F/M, Multi", "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	“Right then, welcome to your first day of community service.” Phil Coulson announced with a sigh as he stood outside the local community centre on a rainy Monday morning. He was annoyed that the new suit he’d bought was getting soggy and raindrops were rolling off his thinning hair and into his eyes. In front of him were three young men and three young women dressed in the orange jumpsuits they were required to wear for every day of their seven weeks of service.“You’re all going to be working together for the next seven weeks so let’s just start with introductions. I’m Phil Coulson, your primary probation worker; I’d prefer you call me Coulson. Let’s go down the line and introduce ourselves, shall we?”Silence.Coulson turned to a young man at one end of the line. “Let’s start with you, if you don’t mind.”The young man shrugged. He wasn’t short, but he wasn’t tall. He scratched at his stubble. “Can’t we get an umbrella or something? It’s pissing it down.”“…Your name, please. Then I’ll arrange to get some umbrellas.” Coulson stated.“…Brill. Hello all, I’m Lance Hunter. And I’m an alcoholic.” The young man grinned. Everyone glared at him in disapproval. “…Tough crowd.”Coulson glared down at the soggy clipboard in his hands and crossed off Lance’s name, turning to the young woman stood next to him as an invitation to speak.“Daisy Johnson.” She said, her short brown hair sticking to her cheeks from the rain. She still somehow managed to look beautiful.“I’m Jemma Simmons.” The girl next to Daisy announced without needing a prompt. “Hello.”“Lincoln Campbell.” The tall blonde young man next to Jemma grumbled.Everyone turned to face the tall young woman next to Lincoln with anticipation. She’d had a presence since the second she’d arrived that morning yet hadn’t said a word.“I’m Bobbi Morse.” She stated. “If anyone makes a Morse code joke, I will break your arm.”Lance’s mouth opened and closed very quickly.“…Go on, introduce yourself.” Coulson said warmly to the young man next to Bobbi at the other end of the line.Everyone looked at the curly-haired boy with striking blue eyes. He’d not once looked up from the floor. “Leo…Leo Fitz.”“Are you Scottish?” Lance leaned forward to face the other young man. “Brilliant. Love that accent. You’re my favourite. Or maybe you are.”He winked at Daisy. She gave him the finger.“Now we’ve got that out of the way, I’d like to repeat that you’ll be working together for the next seven weeks of your community service as you pay the local area back for your various crimes. So, there will be no fighting of any kind between you and you will follow any and all instructions given to you by superiors. Failure to comply could add to your time doing community service. Understood?” Coulson asked.Everyone stood staring at him blankly.“Good.” Coulson smiled. “You’ll be starting with some simple redecoration work. The main hall of the community centre needs its walls repainting. You’ll find everything you need inside.”A sweet smile came over Leo’s face. Lincoln clocked it.“What’s up with you?” He asked argumentatively.Leo’s smile faded. “Oh, I just, I…I l-like painting.”“Can I at least hit him and no one else?” Lincoln asked.“You know the answer to that.” Coulson groaned. The community centre doors opened behind him and a handsome man with jet black hair and muscular physique strolled out, complete with a black velvet jacket. “Everyone, this is your secondary probation worker, Grant Ward. When I’m not around you can rely on him to be here. You are all to respect and follow any of his instructions too.”“I’ve laid out all the paint and brushes for them; shouldn’t be any disasters.” Grant smirked and Coulson nodded.“Excellent. Time for you all to give back.” Coulson said, enthusiastically tapping his clipboard with his hand.The second he did, an enormous clap of thunder filled the air, followed by an almighty flash of lightning the left everyone squinting.“Holy shit! Where did that come from?” Lance chuckled excitedly.“It’s just the weather.” Grant rolled his eyes and turned to Coulson. “We should get them inside.”“Agreed. Come on everyone.” Coulson said, turning to face the community centre entrance.Another crash of thunder and flash of lighting, even louder and brighter than before.“Bloody hell.” Leo cursed under his breath as everyone looked up at the sky.“This wasn’t forecast was it?” Daisy asked in confusion.“It was supposed to be sunny skies, I’ll admit.” Coulson said. “The rain was a nasty enough surprise when I woke up this morning.”“It’s getting heavier, too.” Bobbi noted, then froze. “What the…holy shit.”“What?” Lincoln asked.“Look at the rain!” Bobbi stated. Everyone looked around in confusion.“What about it?” Jemma asked.“It’s going up!” Bobbi yelled. “Look, the rain is going up!”Everyone squinted. To their surprise, Bobbi was right. The rain was soaring upwards towards the clouds.“How is that possible?” Lance wondered.“It’s not.” Leo and Jemma said together.“Let’s just…let’s get inside.” Coulson said nervously as the thunder and lightning flashed again, once again with even more intensity that before.“There’s something else coming down with the rain.” Jemma noted, pointing upwards.Everyone looked in bewilderment as almost out of nowhere, big chunks of ice fell from the sky and slammed onto the concrete surrounding them.“Holy fuck!” Lance cried as Jemma screamed and everyone panicked.“Inside NOW!” Grant exclaimed.Everyone ran for the entrance of the building. They were mere inches away from the door when a bolt of lightning crashed in front of the group and threw them backwards and onto the floor with huge force.Silence for a moment.Lincoln was the first to regain consciousness. He grumbled as he got to his feet and rubbed his head. He’d been the closest to the door and could’ve sworn he’d managed to touch the handle just as the lightning hit. He turned around and saw the rest of the group still lying on the floor, drenched from head to toe and some with small shards of ice littered over them.He looked up and was greeted by a crystal clear blue sky. If he couldn’t see the chaos in front of him he would’ve sworn there hadn’t even been a storm and he’d dreamt the whole thing.“Fuck.” Lance groaned as he came to and sat up, looking at Lincoln. “Was your hair always that pointy or was that the lightning?”Lincoln took out his phone and looked at his reflection. “That’s how my hair always is.”“Oh….uh, looks great.” Lance said and got to his feet just as Daisy, Leo and Coulson came to and stood up.“Is everyone alright?” Coulson asked nervously as everyone awake nodded at him. He hurried over to Bobbi just as she woke up before helping her up and checking on Grant. After another minute or so, Grant finally came to and sat up, rubbing his head ferociously and pushing Coulson away as he stood.“You okay there Top Gun?” Lance asked him with a smirk.“Wanker.” Grant whispered with unexpected fury.Lance looked outraged. “Did he just call me a wanker?”“Is everyone alright? For sure?” Coulson asked again, and everyone nodded. “Good, okay, um…let’s just…let’s just head inside and get to work, alright?”“What the fuck was that?” Daisy asked.“We’ll just have to wait and see what they say about it on the news.” Coulson said.“Grandpa’s right.” Lance chuckled.“I will not tolerate disrespect.” Coulson warned, pointing at Lance.“Let’s just go inside already, I’m sick of it out here.” Lincoln said and reached for the door handle. As he touched it, a spark flew out of his finger and shocked him. “Shit!”“That’s a fairly common occurrence, I wouldn’t worry.” Jemma noted.“Did I ask you?” Lincoln argued. Jemma shrunk back.“Just open the door.” Grant growled. Lincoln obeyed, unable to hold Grant’s gaze for too long. There seemed to be something in his eyes that wasn’t there before.…“That wasn’t weird though, weren’t it?” Daisy said as she got to work painting the walls of the main hall. The aged white paint had peeled off, leaving the group with the task of painting over it with a fresh baby blue.“Can we let this go now? It was a bloody storm.” Lance groaned.“A storm that knocked us all out. I think that’s worth talking about.” Jemma noted.“Or we could just not talk at all? I’d like that.” Lincoln added, smirking at Leo, who was painting on his own away from the rest of the group. “Like Braveheart over there. He’s my favourite; too shy to say a fucking word to anyone.”Leo briefly looked over then refocused on his painting.“He’s got a point; you don’t seem like the kind of guy who’d get community service.” Lance said, turning to Jemma. “Same goes for you.”“It’s a long story.” Jemma sighed. “And one I’m not going to tell.”“What about you, William Wallace?” Lincoln asked Leo. “Care to share your story? No offence, but you do come across as a bit of a weirdo. I bet it was something like sneaking into a girl’s room and recording them as they slept.”“I…I’m not a weirdo.” Leo mumbled quietly.“That’s exactly what a weirdo would say.” Lincoln shrugged. “At least tell me the weird film you took was with a decent quality camera.”“I didn’t film anyone while they were sleeping. I…I’m not a f-freak.” Leo said shyly.“I disagree.” Lincoln smiled.“Just let him get on with it.” Bobbi said.“Ooh, Betty’s in love.” Lance laughed.“Firstly, my name is Bobbi. Secondly, no I’m not. I didn’t realise you were an eleven year old.” Bobbi snapped at Lance. Daisy couldn’t hold back a chuckle.“Maybe my mind, but I can assure you my body is very well developed.” Lance winked.“If anyone empties their can of paint, send it my way so I can throw up in it.” Bobbi said.“So what did everyone do to get community service? Who’s brave enough to share?” Daisy posed.“Robbed a bank.” Lance grinned.“Funny.” Daisy groaned.“I got into a fight in a bar. Punched a few guys, smashed a few glasses.” Lincoln revealed.“Did you have to pay damages?” Jemma wondered.“Nah, the guy who owns the bar went to school with my dad. Community service was enough for him. I only thought it’d be a week or two though. Seven weeks is taking the piss.” Lincoln explained.“It allows plenty of time for rehabilitation.” Coulson announced as he entered the room and inspected the walls. “Looking good so far, everyone. Just checked the news; everyone’s baffled by the storm. They have no idea where it came from or why.”“Because the weather here is always shit, that’s why.” Lance noted.“I’d appreciate everyone toning down their language.” Coulson said.There was a loud bang as Grant’s cursing echoed through the building. He stormed into the room with remnants of a wooden chair in his hands. “Bloody thing broke when I sat on it.”“No worries. We have plenty here.” Coulson said.“Look at all those pieces, though. Did you snap it on purpose?” Lance asked.“Did I say you could speak?” Grant asked angrily.“No, the Human Rights Act did.”“Little prick.” Grant whispered and headed out to dispose of the broken chair.“Anyway, I’ll leave you all to it. Finish off all the walls and then you can have half an hour for lunch. Or if you ever need a quick snack use any of the vending machines dotted about. But don’t use them as an excuse to slack off.” Coulson said and headed out.“Now there’s an idea.” Lance grinned, dropping his paintbrush and heading over to the vending machine in the corner of the room. “Anyone got any change?”Everyone shook their heads.“No problem.” Lance said, grabbing the machine with both hands and furiously shaking it until a chocolate bar fell out. Victoriously, he picked it up and wandered smugly back over to the group. “Winning!”Everyone worked in silence for a few minutes while Lance ate the chocolate bar. The second he was finished and dropped the wrapper on the floor he spoke up again. “So…three girls and three guys. Hasn’t this worked out well?”“Not for the girl stuck with the freak over there.” Lincoln smirked as he looked at Leo, who lowered his head and carried on painting.“I’d sooner bang Coulson than either of you assholes.” Bobbi smirked.“I second that.” Daisy laughed. “Though I wouldn’t mind getting my claws into that Ward guy.”“He broke that chair on purpose, I’m telling you.” Lance stated. “Bloody nutcase.”“Someone’s jealous.” Bobbi said.“Yeah, you are. Because you haven’t gotten a glimpse of me without this jumpsuit on.” Lance smirked, glaring seductively at Bobbi.She rolled her eyes at him as he smiled and turned away, but she heard him speak again. I bet she likes it rough. “Fuck off!” Bobbi shouted, throwing her paintbrush at Lance. It smacked him on the cheek, leaving baby blue paint over his face.“What the fuck did you do that for?” Lance asked in shock. Everyone was staring at Bobbi in confusion.“Because you don’t have any respect, clearly! You don’t know the first thing about me and you just assume I like it rough, huh? Prick.” Bobbi spat.“When did he say that?” Lincoln asked.“Just then! How did you miss that?” Bobbi asked. Lance had gone white as a sheet.“He didn’t say that.” Daisy said.“Yes, he did! I heard him say it!” Bobbi shouted.“I didn’t hear it.” Jemma added.“Open your ears, then! You heard him, right?” Bobbi asked Leo.“Oh, I…I don’t…I’d rather not get involved.” Leo shied away.“Great. Thanks.” Bobbi groaned, looking back at Lance. “You’re a dick.”Lance stared at her. How the fuck did she know I was thinking that?Bobbi froze. It was Lance’s voice, just like it was before, but she’d seen his face that time. His mouth hadn’t moved.Coulson hurried in. “Is there a problem? I heard shouting.”Everyone looked at Bobbi.“…No. All good.” She lied.“…Okay.” Coulson nodded, smiled and headed out. Bloody kids.“Excuse me?” Bobbi asked.Coulson stopped and turned back in shock. “W-What?”Bobbi froze again. She’d heard Coulson’s voice say that. She HAD. “…Nothing.”Coulson said nothing as he turned and made his way out again.“Are you okay?” Jemma asked.Bobbi’s head was all over the place; she could hardly breathe. “I need some air.”…Bobbi burst out of the front doors of the community centre and looked out at the bank of water in front of her. The community centre was right on the edge of the city looking out over the dock. The sun was beaming down; any trace of the storm that morning had vanished into thin air.Bobbi walked out to the metal fence stopping her from falling off the ledge and into the water and looked down, closing her eyes and trying to clear her head. What the hell was going on with her? Why had she heard Lance and Coulson’s voices in her head, and so clearly? She could’ve sworn they’d said those things.She always went for a run when she needed to calm her thoughts, so she set off on a light jog around the community centre. She stopped dead the second she turned the corner.The benches had been torn to pieces, parts of the walls had caved in as if they’d been punched and branches had been ripped off of some of the trees planted nearby. It looked like a bombsite. And Grant Ward was stood in the centre of it.He spotted her quickly. “…The storm did more damage than we thought.”“…Oh.” Bobbi said, noting one of Grant’s fists was bleeding onto the pavement.“Nothing to worry about.” Grant stated. “Go back inside and back to work. I’ll clean this up.”Bobbi heard Grant’s voice. She’ll leave if she knows what’s good for her.Her eyes widened. She turned away and ran back inside. She wasn’t imagining any of this. It was happening. It was real.…“Everything okay?” Jemma asked as Bobbi walked back in. Most of the room had now been painted.“Yeah. Just felt a bit off. I’m fine now.” Bobbi said, glancing briefly at Lance before returning to her painting. “I, uh…I think you’re right about that Grant Ward guy. I just saw him outside. He looked…I dunno. He’s not all there.”“Told you.” Lance grinned. Daisy rolled her eyes.Bobbi knew she couldn’t tell them everything about Grant and the voices; they’d never believe her. What the hell was happening?“You sure you’re okay? You look a bit shaken up.” Jemma asked.“I’m fine, alright!” Bobbi snapped.Jemma took a step back. “…Okay.”Sorry for caring. Jemma’s voice echoed inside Bobbi’s head, just like it had with the others.“…Is, uh…is everyone else okay? Not feeling…weird?” Bobbi wondered nervously.Everyone nodded. Lincoln smirked and pointed at Leo. “He’s used to it by now.”“I’m not…I’m not weird.” Leo said timidly.“Sure.” Lincoln grinned.Bobbi watched as everyone got back to work and finished painting the walls. Coulson inspected them when they were done and let them go for lunch. They retreated to the locker room where they’d kept their belongings and sat mostly in silence as they ate the food they’d brought. Bobbi didn’t dare bring up the strange goings on again.…The second Lincoln’s parents went out shopping that evening, he called Rebecca and told her the house was empty. She only lived around the block, so it didn’t take her long to get there.“How was community service?” She asked as Lincoln let her in and they headed into his bedroom.“…Weird. Pretty sure I hate most of the people there. Seven weeks is going to drag.” Lincoln groaned.“Did you see that storm earlier, too? Crazy.” Rebecca said.“Yeah, I got caught in it. So fucking weird. Honestly, I’m sick of hearing about it.” Lincoln admitted.“Well then.” Rebecca bit her lip and walked up to Lincoln as he closed the door. “Let’s stop talking.”She gripped the bottom of his shirt and pulled it over his head, running her hands over his ripped body. She unzipped his jeans and let them fall to the floor as he unzipped the back of the dress and threw it across the room. He took her up in his arms and let them both fall onto his bed, kissing her neck as she wrapped her legs around his waist and ran her hands up and down his back, feeling the movement of his muscles.She moaned with pleasure and reached for his boxers, pulling them down his legs until Lincoln kicked them off. He pulled her up and onto him, leaving her sat on his naked crotch as he tore off her bra and discarded it, kissing all down her chest.“Ow!” Rebecca yelped, jumping back.“What?” Lincoln asked.“…Sorry, I…electric shock.” Rebecca said, shaking it off and climbing back onto Lincoln, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him. The kiss deepened and grew more intense as the two fell back onto the bed. Rebecca gripped Lincoln’s hair as she let his tongue explore her mouth.The lights flickered, making Rebecca jump and sit up again. “What was that? The lights just went weird.”“It’s nothing.” Lincoln whispered seductively before kissing her again.“Ow!” They both cried this time, jumping away from each other as they both felt the electric shot.“What the fuck is going on?” Rebecca wondered.“It’s probably just, you know, an after effect of that storm. Come here.” Lincoln smiled. Rebecca giggled as Lincoln rolled on top of her and resumed kissing her neck. She closed her eyes and groaned, now unable to see the lights starting to flicker again.“Lincoln…” She whispered with desire.He slipped off her underwear as they got under the covers and he began to thrust.“Oh, Lincoln! Yes! YES! Oh!”They’d found the perfect rhythm. Their moans of pleasure filled the room as Rebecca gripped onto the mattress. The laptop on Lincoln’s desk began to spark along with the lights.“Oh, Lincoln…”“Becks…”The streetlamps outside flickered. Car alarms started going off. Sparks of electricity flew all over the nearby streets.“Yes, Lincoln, oh, oh, yes, YES…YES!”A huge crash as all the lights in the nearby houses blew out. Streetlamps exploded, cars set alight, alarms went off everything.“WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?!” Rebecca exclaimed in panic as she rushed out of Lincoln’s bed, tripping over in the darkness as she reached for her clothes and inelegantly put them back on. “This is too fucking weird!”“Becks, wait!” Lincoln cried, getting out of bed after her and finding his boxers. He slid them on and went to rush to find her; he walked by his laptop and it exploded into sparks, sending Lincoln flying across the room and into a wall.After a few minutes, he got back up to his feet and rushed to his bedroom window, witnessing the chaos outside for the first time. “What the fuck?”He looked at his laptop. The way it exploded like that reminded him of something.The storm.He ran a hand through his hair and jumped back in pain the second he touched his scalp. Looking at his hand, he could see small blue bolts of electricity flickering around the gaps between his fingers.He carefully made his way around his room and found his phone, using the light from it to get a better look at his hand. The blue bolts of electricity were running through his fingers and up to his forearm.Without thinking, he took a picture of it and stared at it in disbelief. What’s happening to me? …The next morning, everyone stood in the locker room putting on their jumpsuits in silence. Leo was making an effort to avoid looking at the girls getting changed. Lance was not.Lincoln burst into the room. “That storm has fucked me up.”“Excuse me?” Lance asked, already amused.“Anyone else have a major power cut yesterday?” Lincoln asked.“…I, I did.” Leo piped up shyly.“It was me.” Lincoln admitted.“What was you?” Daisy asked.“The power cut. I did it. The storm, it…I don’t know how to explain it…I…I think it gave me some kind of power. Electrical power. You know?” Lincoln said timidly.Silence.“…Are you high?” Lance chuckled.“I’m not making it up! Look!” Lincoln exclaimed, getting out his phone and showing everyone the picture of his hand. “I don’t know how it works or how I control it. I can’t seem to get it to work today but look at that! That’s not normal, right?”“…What the hell?” Jemma wondered as she looked at the photo. “I’ve never seen anything like that.”“It was the storm, I’m telling you. It zapped me and now I can do crazy things with electricity and electrical devices. I’ve…I’ve got powers.” Lincoln said in disbelief.“You’re having me on. That’s Photoshop, right?” Lance laughed.“Why would I lie about something like this? We all felt it when we got hit, right? This buzz going through us. It changed me!” Lincoln shouted.“What were you doing when it all kicked off?” Bobbi asked curiously.“…I’d rather not say.” Lincoln said quietly.“Shameful.” Lance grinned, shaking his head.“You’ve got to believe me! I’m not making it up, I swear. I…it’s freaking me out.” Lincoln admitted.Silence.“…Okay, good joke but that’s enough now.” Lance said.“It’s not a joke.” Lincoln stated adamantly.“He’s right.” Bobbi said quickly. Everyone looked at her. “I…the storm changed me too. I’ve got powers.”“Come on.” Lance shook his head.“What?” Lincoln asked. “What is it?”“…I can hear people’s thoughts. Not all the time, I don’t know how it works, but I can. That’s what yesterday was all about. I heard your thoughts but at first I thought you were actually talking!” Bobbi explained.“Holy shit.” Lincoln’s eyes widened.“Bullshit.” Lance stated. “You think some admittedly freakish storm gave you two powers but not the rest of us?”“Maybe…maybe we just don’t know what we can do yet.” Leo stuttered. “…We might have super powers.”“What the fuck did I put in my tea this morning?” Lance said to himself.Bobbi heard his voice again. Shit! Why did I let them know I like drinking tea?!“Drinking tea is nothing to be ashamed of.” Bobbi smirked.Lance looked at her in stunned silence for a moment. “Fuck. Off.”“D-Did you just read his mind?” Leo asked.“You bet I did.” Bobbi smiled. “It’s nice to see him speechless.”“So you can control it?” Jemma asked, genuinely shocked and interested.“Honestly, I have no idea.” Bobbi shrugged.“Can we just stop for a minute?” Daisy asked. “I mean…this, this is insane, right? Surely I’m about to wake up from a really weird dream?”“I really don’t think this is a dream.” Jemma said excitedly. “I think this is real. I wonder what caused the storm…what powers might the rest of us possess?”“Easy, nerd.” Lance rolled his eyes. “I hope I have x-ray vision.”“You’re disgusting.” Bobbi shook her head.“Basically, yeah.” Lance agreed.“We should keep this to ourselves.” Leo said nervously, yet with more confidence than anyone had ever seen him show.“If we all have some amazing super cool badass power, why would we hide that? We could go on the news and make millions!” Lance objected.“Or we could be locked up and e-experimented on.” Leo argued.“This is a movie, mate.” Lance said.“I think he has a point.” Jemma said. “We shouldn’t risk it. Or at least wait until we know what all of us can do, if all of us can do anything.”“Agreed. It’s a smart move. I’d rather not be dissected.” Bobbi agreed.“Me too.” Lincoln nodded.“…Fine, whatever. You’ll be sorry when my power is something awesome and newsworthy like…like shitting money or something.” Lance said.“Shitting money?” Lincoln questioned“It’d be worth the suffering and you know it.”The door slammed open and Grant stormed in. “You’re all late to rollcall. Hurry up.”“Yes, sir.” Lance rolled his eyes. “What did you do to your hand?”Everyone looked and saw Grant’s hand was now bandaged after what Bobbi had witnessed the day before. Grant glared at Lance with unnecessary intensity.“Is it any of your business?”Lance went to reply, but stopped himself when he saw the rage in Grant’s eyes. He could’ve sworn his pupils had turned red for a second or two. Shaking his head, Grant kicked open the door and hurried out again.Daisy sighed. “Yeah, you’re right. Dude’s got issues.”“Prick.” Lance cursed. “Right then, let’s go get given a task for me to spend all day ignoring and figuring out what my amazing power is.”With a smug smile, Lance headed out of the room with Leo, Jemma and Daisy following. Lincoln went to leave but Bobbi stopped him.“Hey, do you think all of this is temporary or what? What if we’re the only people affected?”“I really don’t know. We’re gonna have to work it out as we go along.” Lincoln said worriedly.Bobbi nodded nervously and the two rushed to join the others.…Grant stood in the corner of the main hall watching as Coulson lectured the six misfits about their latest job filing paperwork. Every time he looked at them he became filled with a rage he could barely control at the best of times.Ever since that storm, there was anger in his blood. He could hardly bare it. He hated his own existence.It had felt like he wasn’t even in control of his body the day before when he’d torn apart benches, chairs and trees with his bare hands and punched holes in walls. All he could do was try and forget about it and hope Bobbi had believed his excuses.He didn’t know what was happening to him, but as he stared at those delinquents, the rage he felt made him feel like they had to be held responsible for it.If his newfound rage was somehow going to destroy him, he’d just have to destroy them instead. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Let’s get PISSED!” Daisy exclaimed loudly as she walked into her living room with a bottle of vodka held up in the air.Her flatmates, Tessa and Jude, laughed loudly along with a few of their friends that they’d invited over. The place was an absolute mess, but it was Friday night and they were getting drunk so they didn’t care in the slightest. They all sat in a circle on the carpet throwing poker chips at each other and downing anything that anyone put in front of them.Daisy had been living in the house for six months. She’d been adopted at a few months old and never really clicked with her foster family – she was grateful to them of course, but there wasn’t much attachment or sentimentality – so when her school friend Tessa asked if she wanted to move in with her and her boyfriend she couldn’t say no and moved out as soon as she finished college. It was made only better by the fact that Jude’s family was filthy rich so most of the extortionate rent was paid for by him.After hours of drinking and dancing and laughing, the place looked even more of a mess. The group were playing poker but not paying much attention to what was actually going on. Everyone thought they were winning and Jude had become convinced that the King of Spades was staring at him.“Your turn, Daisy Chain.” Tessa giggled.“Is it?” Daisy wondered with a goofy grin.“Dunno.” Tessa chuckled and everyone joined her.Daisy could hardly breathe through drunken laughter. “Okay…okay…did anyone bet or…?”“Probably.” Jude burped.“Well, whoever did…I see your chips and they are not the edible kind.” Daisy laughed. “I raise you two of these red discs!”With a bellow laugh, she slammed the chips down onto the centre of the circle. As her hand hit the ground, she was taken back by a vigorous vibration running through her arm and into her fingers.Her eyes widened. The room exploded.She screamed as she saw her friends fly away from her and crash into walls and furniture. She screamed louder as objects fell off the walls and cracks appeared all along them. She lost her voice by the time the floor began caving in and the whole house came crashing down around her.…Everyone sat in the locker room on Monday morning waiting for 9am to head to the main hall to greet Coulson. Daisy was nowhere to be seen.“Where’s Daisy?” Bobbi asked as she looked at Daisy’s unopened locker.“No idea.” Lincoln said, turning to Lance. “Any luck with powers?”“Fuck all.” Lance groaned. “I spent all weekend trying. I tried frying circuits like you, staring at people to try and read their minds like Hot Stuff…”“Don’t call me Hot Stuff.”“…jumping off the sofa trying to fly, glaring at glass cups trying to smash them…all sorts and nothing. It’s bullshit.” Lance finished solemnly.“No luck for me either.” Jemma added.“What about you, weirdo?” Lincoln asked, looking at Leo, who was sat by his locker away from the others. “Anything?”“N-No.” Leo mumbled. “And, um, w-why am I a weirdo when y-you’re the one who cut the power off in three blocks of houses?”“Because that’s not weird, that’s kinda cool.” Lincoln retaliated. “I wonder if Daisy had better luck.”“We’d know if she bothered to come.” Lance said. “Maybe she discovered her power was spontaneous combustion.”“We should all swap numbers so we can keep in touch and update everyone even on weekends.” Jemma suggested.“Good idea.” Bobbi nodded.“By all means, just don’t let Braveheart know where you live.” Lincoln smirked at Leo.“I d-didn’t film girls while they were sleeping.” Leo sighed.“I’m gonna find out what you did one day, I promise.” Lincoln stated.Everyone froze as the door opened and Daisy walked in. She wore loose bottoms and a grey hoodie. She was covered in cuts and bruises.“Holy shit! What happened to you?” Lance asked as everyone stood up at the sight of her.“…I can cause earthquakes and shit.” Daisy said emotionlessly.“Now that’s fucking awesome. I’m bloody jealous.” Lance said.“It’s not awesome. Look at me! I destroyed my fucking house. I’ve been in hospital with my roommates all weekend, and their mates. We were having a right laugh drinking and then I blow us all up.” Daisy explained.“Whole new meaning to the phrase ‘raise the roof’.” Lincoln smirked.Lance laughed. “He beat me by one second.”“Fuck off, both of you.” Daisy spat, heading to her locker and getting out her orange jumpsuit.“Are you okay? How’s the pain?” Jemma asked.“I’m fine, just a bit shaken.” Daisy admitted.“Not as shaken as your house.” Lance held back a smile as Daisy gave him the finger.“Are your friends alright?” Bobbi wondered.“Yeah, thank fuck. Just battered and bruised. I got off very lightly; they’re all still in hospital now. Luckily they all hit their heads and can’t remember the circumstances surrounding it. I told them it was a gas leak or something.” Daisy revealed.“Well that’s something. You wouldn’t want word of that getting out. At least now you know what your power is you can try and learn to control it.” Jemma smiled.“Hopefully.” Daisy nodded sadly. Jemma rubbed her shoulder comfortingly.“I can fire bolts out of my fingers now. I spent all of Sunday working on it.” Lincoln said proudly. He pointed at Leo and a tiny blue light shot out of his finger and into Leo’s chest. He fell from the bench he was sat on with a thump and Lincoln laughed.“Don’t do that!” Leo shouted.“Sorry about that, Braveheart. I sneezed.” Lincoln grinned.“Leave him alone.” Jemma said. “Are you sure you’re okay, Daisy? Where are you gonna stay? There’s room back at my house.”“Thanks, but I’m not a charity case. I’ll just stay with my foster family for a bit then see what Tess and Jude want to do when they’re out of hospital.” Daisy smiled appreciatively.“…Uh, it’s past 9am.” Leo said quietly as he checked his watch.“He can tell the time! Congrats.” Lincoln said sarcastically, getting up and patting Leo on the back. As he did, he sent another electric shock through Leo, who fell from his bench again.“I should see a doctor about these spasms I keep having. My apologies.” Lincoln chuckled as he headed out, followed by the rest of the group. Jemma stopped and helped Leo up.“Just ignore him. Are you alright?”“I’m fine.” Leo snapped, pulling his arm out of her hand and storming out. Jemma sighed then followed.…“Just sort the donated clothes into piles; men’s, women’s and children’s. Put them into the cardboard boxes in the corner and then take them to Room 19A for storage. Daisy, if you’re not able to carry any boxes don’t strain yourself, alright?” Coulson instructed.“Okay. Thanks, Coulson.” Daisy said.“Great. Enjoy.” Coulson smiled before heading out towards his office.“Do you think he’s lost all his hair and that’s all just stuck on?” Lance asked as he watched Coulson go.“If it were fake I’m sure he’d have just gotten his whole head covered.” Bobbi replied.“Can you imagine him with a full head of hair? Gives me the creeps just thinking about it.” Lance chuckled.“If anyone’s power is the ability to sort clothes with a click of their fingers, now would be a great time to discover it.” Jemma noted.“I’ll be honest, if that’s my power I’m gonna be fucking disappointed.” Lance commented.“You never know, we might find something we like to keep for ourselves.” Bobbi suggested.“Don’t know if I’d risk that. God knows where any of this tat has been.” Lance said.“I’m feeling the childish temptation to jump into them.” Lincoln chuckled as he assessed the huge pile of clothes.“Wow, there was a girl in my class from college who wore crap like this.” Daisy smiled as she held up a neon orange sweater. “We called her Velma. Good times. Never did learn her real name.”“You went to college?” Lance asked. “Impressive.”“We all went to college except you and Lincoln.” Bobbi revealed.She heard Lincoln’s voice as he stared at her. She went to college too? How about that?“Oi! I heard that, you prick!” Bobbi yelled, throwing a shirt at Lincoln.“Shit! Sorry! It was a nice surprise, really! That’s gonna burn me a hell of a lot, huh?” Lincoln asked.“If I’m lucky.” Bobbi smirked.“What did you study at college?” Jemma asked Daisy.“Computing.” Daisy answered. “Kind of why I ended up here, actually.”“Oh, tell me more!” Lincoln requested excitedly.“…Ugh, okay. One of the guys on my course did all sorts of hacking and stuff, websites and the like. Just harmless fun. He had all the proper equipment at his house, and there was a group of us who’d go and just have a play with it all. Then one day we decided it would be pretty funny to hack the security feed at GAP and replace it.” Daisy began.“What did you replace it with?” Bobbi wondered.“Porn?” Lance offered.Daisy laughed and pointed at Lance. “Bingo.”The others laughed as Daisy continued. “We were stupid enough to actually be at the store to witness our good work and security cottoned on to us. I was the only one who got caught since I was wearing freakin’ heels. But I didn’t grass anyone up, I’m not that kind of girl. Luckily a few of the people in charge found the fun in it and didn’t punish me as severely as they could have. Hence seven weeks community service with you suckers.”“Well that definitely beats getting into a fight in a bar.” Lincoln chuckled.“Yeah, your origin story was lame.” Daisy agreed with a smirk.…Coulson heard a loud crash as he approached his office. It was coming from a room at the end of the corridor. As he made his way towards the noise he realised the noise had come from a storage room.“Grant, is everything o-h my god.”The room was a bombsite. The shelves filled with cardboard boxes had been cleared and the floor was littered with papers and card. Grant was leaning against the wall at the back at the room and stared at Coulson blankly as he walked in.“What happened? Are you alright?” Coulson asked.“I’m fine. Dropped a box and it started a chain reaction, that’s all.” Grant said.“Some of the boxes are in pieces.”Grant sighed heavily. “They’re fragile.”“Well, let me help you clear this up.” Coulson said, taking to the floor.“I can handle it.” Grant said.“It’s no problem, we can do half the room each and -”Grant knelt down and placed a firm hand on Coulson’s shoulder and spoke coldly. “I said I can handle it.”“…Right. As you wish.” Coulson swallowed, slowly getting up and making his way out, confused by Grant’s erratic behaviour. He hadn’t been so intense at his job interview…Grant watched him go before looking around the room at the destruction he’d caused. He breathed heavily as veins popped out of his skin, making his skin feel like fire.He could feel the rage inside of him getting worse by the second.…“So could you like, turn off the power here so they can let us go early?” Lance questioned as the group finished sorting the clothes into boxes.“I dunno. Maybe eventually. There’s a lot to grasp.” Lincoln answered.“I want a bloody power! Maybe teleportation or something? Or anything I touch could turn to gold? That’s be sweet.” Lance speculated.“What about you? What power would you want?” Jemma asked Leo as they picked up some boxes to take into storage.“Oh, uh…I dunno. M-Maybe…lasers or something.” Leo answered shyly.“That would be interesting.” Jemma nodded. “Imagine how quickly you could cook food!”“Huh. Yeah.” Leo nodded with a faint chuckle and a brief smile. It faded when he was hit by another electric shock.“Sorry, I enjoy that way too much.” Lincoln chuckled.“Cut it out.” Leo said.“I’m only having a bit of fun!” Lincoln argued.“Well…i-it’s not fun for me.”“B-B-But it’s fun for me.” Lincoln mocked. Leo sighed and went to walk out. “Hey, wait. If it bothers you that much, I’ll lay off. Deal?”He held out his hand. After a moment, Leo tentatively put the box down and shook it, only to receive an even bigger shock and fly across the room.“For god’s sake, Lance!” Bobbi said, rushing to Leo’s aid.“It gets funnier every time!” Lincoln chuckled as Leo got up on his feet. He’d gone as pale as a ghost.“You don’t look so good, are you alright?” Daisy asked as she cautiously approached Leo. Even Lance looked somewhat concerned.“I, uh…I…I…” Leo began.Suddenly, his body contorted. He stood fixed in place but his head and hands became a blur as if they were moving at high speed. Everyone stepped back in shock; Lincoln’s laughter died instantly.“Leo!” Jemma cried.Leo let out a scream. And then he was gone. The space where he’d stood seconds before was empty.“Fuck, you killed him.” Lance glanced at Lincoln.“Fuck off, no I didn’t.” Lincoln said worriedly. “Where’d he go?” “W-What do you mean, where did I go? I’m…I’m right here.” Leo replied. He looked at everyone in turn; they were all staring at him yet discussing where he could have gone. He looked down and could see he hadn’t moved from where he stood. Were they just playing another joke on him, pretending he wasn’t there? Or maybe… “Can’t you hear me?” Leo asked. The group were still talking about his whereabouts and were looking around the room in a panic. “Or see me? Hello!” He walked up to Bobbi and stood right in front of her. “Look at me! I’m here! Hello!” She looked right through him like he wasn’t there at all. He wasn’t there at all. He walked up to where Lincoln was stood looking around and watching the others search and shout after him. “S-Spiky haired prick.” He spent a short while walking around the room, watching as Jemma, then Bobbi and then Lance all left the room and came back reporting that they hadn’t found him and that they had no idea where he was. “I’m invisible.” Leo smiled to himself. Suddenly, he couldn’t breathe. His head and hands became blurred again as he let out another wail. “Fucking hell!” Daisy yelped as Leo appeared in front of her. Everyone turned and looked in disbelief at the sight of Leo standing there. “What the fuck just happened? Where did you go?”“N-Nowhere.” Leo revealed. “I…I was invisible. I was…I was talking to you but you couldn’t see or hear me.”“Bloody hell, so you get something cool like invisibility and I don’t even know if I even have a power!” Lance said, frustrated.“Are you okay?” Jemma asked Leo, who nodded then glared at Lincoln.“My bad, Braveheart. But hey, without me you wouldn’t know you had a power! And an annoyingly cool one, too. At least you’ll never get caught filming girls sleeping again.” Lincoln laughed.“I didn’t…I…I never…” Leo began but trailed off.The doors crashed open and Grant stormed in. He’d been sweating heavily and his eyes were red raw. “What the hell are you all doing? All I can hear is you shouting and running all over the place!”“We were looking for Leo.” Bobbi said.Grant glared at Leo intensely. “I fucking found him. Get back to work!”Grant’s booming voice echoed through the hall as he hurried out and slammed the door behind him.“What’s that prick’s problem? He really doesn’t like us, does he?” Daisy asked.“Mummy issues. I bet he has mummy issues. Or daddy issues. Maybe both.” Lance speculated. “Poor, hair gel obsessed bastard.”“He looked like his head was gonna explode like Oberyn Martell.” Lincoln noted.“Let’s just get these boxes moved so we can go home, yeah?” Bobbi suggested and everyone got to work.Leo watched all of them as they continued their conversation, slightly hurt that his newfound powers had been glossed over so quickly. Sometimes he didn’t even need to be invisible to be invisible.…“Hey!” Daisy smiled as she walked in a squeaky clean hospital room with some chocolates. Tessa lay on the bed and smiled at her weakly as she placed the chocolates by the side of the bed. “How’re you feeling?”“Okay I guess.” Tessa said weakly.“And Jude?”“He took a beating, but he’ll be alright in a few weeks. They let me visit him earlier, and the other guys. You certainly got off lucky.” Tessa said.“Well, I’m a lucky bitch.” Daisy forced a smile. “…Don’t worry about the house, either. Everything will be sorted out.”“I know.” Tessa said. “Jude’s family are already talking about suing the landlord for poor maintenance. We’re gonna stay with them for a bit after we both get out of here.”Daisy tried to hide her disappointment. “Yeah. Of course.”“…Look, Daisy, um…when we’re sorted and Jude and I do find a place, um…well, we’re gonna be looking for somewhere for just the two of us.”“…What?” Daisy asked, shocked.“This whole accident…it put things in perspective. Anything can happen, you know? I want to squeeze the most out of every day and we want to be a proper adult couple. Living together. Alone.” Tessa explained.“But…six months ago you asked me to live with you for at least a year, we were all so excited!” Daisy argued.“I know, I know, and we have had a laugh, Daisy, we have, but…things have changed. I’m sorry. I, I hope you understand.”“…Yeah, sure. I…I understand.” Daisy faked a smile.“And you’re gonna be okay? You have somewhere to go?” Tessa asked.“Yeah, of course! You know me. I’m the Queen of Okay. Always.”She walked out of the hospital unable to comprehend how drastically her life had changed in just a week. That bloody storm had ruined everything. She got out her phone and dialled.“Hey, it’s me. Yeah, I’m doing okay, just cuts and bruises. Listen, I was kind of hoping I could come back home and stay with you for a while until I find my feet. Huh? Oh, but I thought the spare room…? Ah, a gym. Right. Okay…no, no, that’s fine! Don’t worry. I, uh…I’ve had offers from friends, I’ll just bunk with one of them. I’ll be okay. Yeah. Really, it’s fine. Yeah. Bye.”She hung up and sighed. She’d meant what she’d said to Jemma; she wasn’t lowering herself to being a charity case. There was only one place she knew she could go.…The community centre was all locked up when Daisy arrived. She was pleased to see a familiar face stood by the entrance waiting for her. “Thanks for coming.”“Didn’t have anything better to do.” Lincoln said. “So, beautiful girls texts me late at night asking to meet up…what’s the plan?”“I need to get into the community centre and I need you to fry the alarm.” Daisy revealed.“What? Can’t you just wait for tomorrow?” Lincoln asked.“No. Look, I’ll open the door and you’ll have a few seconds to fry the generator. It’s right by the door next to the reception desk. Okay, whizz kid?” Daisy asked.“…Uh, fine. But let me go on record and say this is not how I thought this was gonna go.” Lincoln groaned.“What were you expecting to happen? If I wanted to have sex with you, which I don’t, don’t you think I’d have picked somewhere a bit more suitable?” Daisy questioned.“Well it’s not like you have a house to bring me back to is it?” Lincoln retaliated. Daisy shot her a look. “Too soon?”“Just get ready!” Daisy ordered. “I practiced a bit in the park earlier on some pebbles. A bit of trial and error later and I think it all comes down to breathing control.”“And now you’re talking about panting? I don’t appreciate this sex teasing.” Lincoln said.“There was never any sex teasing, you hormonal prick. Ready?”“Fine.”“Okay.” Daisy nodded, and raised her hand towards the lock on the double door entrance of the building. She took a deep breath in, held it, and slowly let it out. As she did so, a visible stream of vibration flew from her hand towards the lock and it smashed open. Lincoln shot a spark at the generator and it shut down with a small thud.“Okay?” Lincoln asked.“Okay. Thanks. You can go now.” Daisy announced.“…Just like that? What did I get out of this, exactly?”“The knowledge that you’ve finally done something in your life that wasn’t a dick move. See you tomorrow.” Daisy smiled and wandered inside. Lincoln watched her go, shook his head, made a comment about women under his breath and headed off home.…Daisy emptied out a box of clothes that had been sorted earlier that day onto the floor. After a bit of rearranging, she’d managed to construct a mattress and pillow of sorts and lay down on it, trying to think of what story she’d tell Coulson the next morning about the broken door and shut down security system. She couldn’t wait to work out what it was going to be.As she stared up at the ceiling, the quietness became all too clear. She hadn’t felt quite so alone with her thoughts for a long while, and her thoughts nowadays were hardly good company. She’d been used to noise in the community centre over the past week, be it Lincoln tasking the piss out of Leo or Lance saying some rude or obnoxious or both. She hadn’t considered the silence that filled the place after everyone had gone home for the day.A week ago she’d been asleep in her own bed in her own house with her friends getting ready to start community service. Now, she’d drifted off to sleep on a pile of donated clothes in a community centre thinking about her new acquaintances and powers that had torn her life apart along with her home.She dreamt of life before the storm and wished she never had to deal with what came after. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Bobbi walked into the locker room the next morning and was shocked to see Daisy and Lance were already there and ready for the day ahead, their bright orange jumpsuits looking ugly as ever. Daisy smiled while Lance, who was sat facing away from Bobbi, didn’t move a muscle.“What are you two doing here so early?” Bobbi asked.“Oh…I left my phone here last night; too eager to get it back, you know?” Daisy lied.Bobbi nodded before hearing Daisy’s voice. That was believable enough, right? I can’t tell them I slept here last night.Bobbi looked at Daisy and forced a smile, desperately trying to hide that she’d heard her inner thoughts. She’d have to deal with it another time. “What about you?”Lance remained unmoving and unresponsive to Bobbi’s question.“I haven’t been able to get anything out of him since he got here either.” Daisy revealed. Bobbi walked closer and noticed Lance was sat staring at a bottle of water.“What the fuck is he doing?” Bobbi asked.“Trying to boil the water with his mind.” Daisy rolled her eyes.Bobbi sighed. “There’s no use spit balling ideas of what your powers could be. Just wait and see what happens.”Lance gave up and glanced at Bobbi. “You wouldn’t be saying that if you didn’t know what your powers were!”“Jemma doesn’t know either and she doesn’t moan about it every two minutes.” Bobbi said.“Well whoopee for Jemma.” Lance grumbled.Lincoln and Jemma entered, with Lincoln hurrying past the group and towards another door. “God, I need a piss.”“Morning everyone.” Jemma smiled. “Lance, please put the top back on that water bottle. It’s making me nervous.”“Bloody hell.” Lance sighed, obeying regardless.“Where’s Leo? He’s normally here by now.” Jemma noted.“Here.” Leo said, appearing out of nowhere next to Lance. Everyone staggered back in shock as Leo failed to suppress a slight grin.“Oh, you wanker!” Lance exclaimed. “How long have you been there?”“Ten minutes.” Leo smirked.“Don’t start getting cocky; you’re the weird, quiet one. That’s your thing.” Lance stated.Coulson entered the room, and was just about to speak up about Lincoln’s absence when Lincoln walked back into the room. With a satisfied smile, he turned around and nodded and a young woman the group didn’t recognise entered the room behind him. She carried a large bag and had dark curly hair with wild eyes brought out even more by the orange jumpsuit she’d been placed in.“Everyone meet Raina. She’ll be serving with you for the next few weeks. Be nice.” Coulson explained. “It’s a nice day, so you’ll be painting the outside benches this morning. Grant will bring the supplies out to you.”The second Coulson left the room, Raina dropped her bag and tore off her jumpsuit, leaving her solely in her underwear. Leo blushed and shyly looked at the floor while Lance and Lincoln gawped in amazement. Daisy, Jemma and Bobbi didn’t know whether to be proud or ashamed. Raina unzipped her bag, pulled out some of her own clothes and got dressed.She looked up to see everyone staring. “No way am I wearing that orange rag. God knows who’s worn it before now. That prick ain’t telling me what to do.”“I think Coulson means well really.” Jemma said.“Don’t we all.” Raina rolled her eyes.Bobbi heard Raina’s voice in her head. Ugh, I already hate all of them.“Bitch.” Bobbi muttered under her breath. Raina looked at her for a few moments but nothing came of it. She finished getting changed into her clothes and looked at Lance and Lincoln in turn. “Like what you see?”“...I’m not sure if I’m supposed to answer that.” Lance admitted.“Either way that’s the most you’re ever gonna see again.” Raina said and turned to Leo. “Not even a peek from you, huh? How gay are you.”“I-I’m not gay.” Leo stuttered.“Whatever.” Raina shrugged. “I’m gonna go for a smoke.”With that, she turned and strutted out of the room. Everyone watched her in bewilderment.“Do I utterly adore her or want to punch her so hard her face concaves?” Daisy wondered.“I’m having the same dilemma.” Bobbi said.…Daisy, Jemma and Bobbi all knelt together painting one side of a bench. Raina was away from the group leaning against the metal fence with a cigarette. Lance and Lincoln were watching her while haphazardly painting while Leo stood away from them hard at work.“Do you think she’s gonna do any kind of work?” Jemma asked, gesturing towards Raina.“I doubt it.” Bobbi said.“…So do you think she was on to something about Leo?” Daisy wondered.“What do you mean?” Jemma asked.“Do you think he’s gay?” Daisy asked.The three girls looked over to Leo, concentrating on his painting with immense precision.“I don’t know. Can’t say I know him well enough to judge. Honestly, I couldn’t tell you much about him compared to the rest of you guys.” Bobbi admitted.“I don’t think he is. I just think he was being respectful.” Jemma speculated.Daisy nodded in agreement. Leo turned to his side to grab more paint and noticed the girls all staring at him before quickly turning away again.Bobbi stopped working when she heard his voice. What have I done now? They all laugh at everything I do. Why can’t I just be normal? Bloody moron.Her heart broke for him. She hadn’t really thought that the reason he kept himself to himself was because of everyone else around him and not just his personality.“Uh oh, here we go.” Daisy grinned excitedly as she saw Grant Ward approaching the group. His gaze was intently on Raina; he held her ripped jumpsuit in his hand.“Excuse me, new girl. You’re required to wear this.” Grant stated as he reached her.Raina studied him for a moment. “My name’s Raina.”“I’ll care enough to learn your name when you start respecting the rules.”“I’m not wearing that rag.” Raina snorted.Grant’s whole body tightened. “You’re going to put this on, put out that cigarette and do some work.”Raina smirked and stepped closer to Grant. “…Am I really?”Grant was practically foaming at the mouth. “Yes. Really.”“I don’t think so, handsome.” Raina smiled, blowing smoke in Grant’s face. He grabbed her wrist. “Ow! You’re hurting me, you prick! Get off!”She pushed him away.“MY OFFICE! NOW!” Grant roared. His voice echoed for what felt like could have been miles. Everyone froze and looked at him. Raina’s plucky confident exterior faded for a brief moment, but not for long. She leant forward and whispered into his ear.“No thanks.”Grant was shaking, his eyes bulging and veins popping out his neck. He almost looked like a different man to the one the group had first met. He glared at Raina intensely for a long while before storming off back towards the building.Raina laughed and approached the girls. “He’s hot. Gotta get in at least a quickie before my service is over.”“Lovely.” Jemma said. “So, are you gonna help us paint these benches?”“You know, I would, but you guys are doing such a great job it’d just be silly for me to do a subpar job of it.” Raina said.“…Right.” Bobbi said.“I’m gonna get something from the vending machine. You guys want anything?” Raina asked.“Oh yeah, can I -?”“-No? Okay. See ya in a few.” Raina strutted away.“…What an…interesting character.” Jemma concluded.Bobbi watched as Raina walked past Leo and he turned nervously away from her. The pang of guilt she’d felt from his thoughts earlier returned. Suddenly, she was reminded of what she’d heard Daisy thinking before. Maybe she couldn’t ease her guilt over Leo just yet, but she could do something about Daisy.“Hey, can I talk to you quickly?” Bobbi asked Daisy, who nodded and walked a few steps away from Jemma.“What’s up?” Daisy wondered.“…I heard your thoughts earlier.” Bobbi revealed.“When?” Daisy asked.“…I know you slept here last night.”Daisy was silent for a moment. “Have you told anyone?”“Of course not.”“Well don’t. Things fell through with finding a new place, that’s all.” Daisy said.“Well Jemma said -”“-I know, but like I said. I’m not a charity case.” Daisy stated.“But it only makes sense to accept some help, Daisy. It’s okay to struggle; you can’t just live here.” Bobbi said.“…Look, I get that you mean well but don’t act all high and mighty, alright? Don’t use your powers to get one over on people to make you feel better.” Daisy said.“That’s not what I’m doing at all; I can’t help what I hear.”“But you don’t have to act on it; it makes it seem like you relish in knowing I’m miserable.”“I’m not!” Bobbi said.“Then stay out of my business! I mean, are you hardly in much of a position to give me advice about how I live my life? Last time I checked we were both stuck in community service so I’d take a long hard look at yourself before you start telling others how to live.” Daisy snapped and walked off. Bobbi watched her go and sighed.…Daisy refused to speak to Bobbi for the rest of the day. Raina never returned from her vending machine break so had clearly just gone home and after a long day of tedious tasks, Bobbi was excited to go home and rest for a while. She got changed into her clothes and began the walk home.She was two blocks away from her house when she walked past two girls in expensive clothes with fake tans. They looked at her and then at each other as they crossed paths.Bobbi heard two voices in her head. What a mess. Ugh, skank.She turned around to see the girls were looking back at her as they walked. They quick faced away from her and continued on. Bobbi looked down at her clothes; sure, they were a bit scruffy but they were comfortable. Yeah, she hadn’t put that much make-up on that morning, but…skank?She wondered how many times people must have thought that when they’d looked at her over the years. It could have been hundreds and she’d not known. If she had she might have been able to change herself. She didn’t really want to change anything, but if it meant living a life full of thoughts like that running through her head…She went straight to bed when she arrived home, wondering at what point being able to read minds had stopped being fun. All at once it had become a curse.…“Has anyone seen Raina?” Coulson asked the next morning at rollcall.“She went to get a snack yesterday and never came back so I wouldn’t bet on seeing her again anytime soon.” Lincoln revealed.Coulson sighed. “On her own head be it.”“Maybe Grant got his hands on her.” Lance whispered to Daisy, who chuckled.“She’d like it if he did.”“You alright?” Lincoln asked Bobbi quietly. “You’ve barely said a word this morning.”“Uh, yeah. Just…lot of my mind.” Bobbi faked a smile.“Well if anyone does, it’s quite literally you.” Lincoln smiled.“Right, we’ve got some filing that needs doing in reception and the floors need cleaning. Two or three of you at least doing each activity; sort out amongst yourselves who does what. I’ll be round to check on you all soon; I’ll try contacting Raina.” Coulson announced before heading out.“You can all fuck off if you think for one second I’m gonna be doing any more filing.” Lance stated “I will be mopping floors until Coulson checks on us and then the mop will become a lightsaber.”“Mature of you.” Bobbi smiled. She looked at Daisy, who faced away from her and headed out of the room.“I’m sensing a bit of tension in the room.” Lance noted.“It’s nothing.” Bobbi said, heading out.“If only I could read your mind and see what’s wrong.” Lance called out after her. “But that’s your power, not mine. What’s my power again? Oh yeah, I don’t fucking know yet. Bastards.”…Leo and Jemma sat on the floor behind the reception desk filing in silence for a while until Jemma took a risk and started a conversation.“I love filing. I find it very calming.”“…Oh. Yeah. Me too.” Leo nodded, saying nothing more.Silence.“…I wonder what Raina could be doing. And what’s going on with Bobbi and Daisy; they went off for a chat yesterday so I’m guessing it turned into a spat.” Jemma said.“…Yeah. Maybe.” Leo smiled, not looking up from his filing.“…How’s it going with your powers?”“…Uh, fine.”“…Good! Good. Um...I wish I knew what mine was.” Jemma admitted.“W-Well I’m sure you’ll find out soon.” Leo muttered quietly.“Hopefully.” Jemma nodded with a smile.Silence.“…I-I’m sorry.” Leo said. “You don’t have to try and talk to me. I know I’m not very good at it.”“That’s not true.” Jemma stated.“I-It is. It’s okay. I know you all think I’m a freak.”“No we don’t.”“…I guess I’ve never really had friends so I never talked to many people. Just my mum.” Leo admitted. Jemma thought she heard her heart break.“Well you’ve got five friends now.” Jemma said.“I…I don’t think so. I don’t think Lincoln likes me, and I haven’t really spoken to anyone else.”“Lincoln just likes teasing people, that’s all. And hey…I’m your friend. So that’s at least one more than you had before, right?” Jemma smiled.Leo looked her in the eye and smiled back shyly.…Daisy watched amusedly as Lance and Lincoln took part in a surprisingly entertaining lightsaber duel in the middle of the corridor, laughing every time one of them slipped over the freshly mopped floor. She heard footsteps coming up from behind her and turned to see Bobbi tentatively approaching. “Hi.”“…Hey.”Bobbi leant her mop against the wall. “I’m sorry about yesterday. I only did what I thought was best but you were right, it’s your life. And you were right about my life too; I thought things were okay but then you hear what other people think of you and you realise how wrong you were.”Daisy looked confused. “What do you mean?”“…Just something I heard some girls thinking about me yesterday. I’d assumed people had thought bad things about me before but…actually hearing it and knowing you weren’t just paranoid…it gets to you, you know? It’s not nice knowing that people really do look at you and thank god that they’re not you.” Bobbi explained sadly.“…I never really thought about it like that.”“Neither did I at first.” Bobbi sighed. “Do…do you think they’re permanent? Our powers? I’m not sure I want this for the rest of my life.”“I don’t know.” Daisy admitted. “I was jealous of yours at first. I still don’t really get what causes me to tear buildings down and I get scared every time I enter a building in case I hurt the people in it, but…to have a power that can hurt emotionally…you must be pretty strong to cope with it.”“…And what if I can’t cope with it?” Bobbi asked tearfully.“That’s the thing with coping. People say they can’t even though they are, because they have no choice but to. And you listen to me, for every bitchy girl you hear think something bad – probably because they’re jealous – just remember that if you could hear my thoughts, or Jemma’s or Lance’s or any of us…you’d be hearing about how badass and awesome you are.” Daisy smiled.“…Oh crap. I’m actually starting to get attached to you guys.” Bobbi laughed and Daisy laughed with her.“Apology accepted, and I’m sorry too. I was acting out of my own self-loathing.” Daisy said.“…But what are you gonna do about, you know, everything?” Bobbi asked.“I’m gonna cope with it. Because I have to. But I have to cope with it on my own for now.” Daisy said.“Your secret’s safe with me.” Bobbi smiled. Daisy smiled back and the two hugged. They broke apart at the sound of a loud snap.“You fool, for now I have TWO lightsabers!” Lincoln exclaimed, holding up two halves of a broom while Lance laughed.The laughter died down when a phone started vibrating, echoing through the corridor.“Who’s is that?” Lincoln asked.“Mine’s in the locker room.” Daisy said.“And mine.” Bobbi added.“Same.”“Mine too.”Daisy closed her eyes, knelt down and placed a palm on the floor, sensing the vibration through her fingers and following the source, stopping when she reached a set of four lockers set up in the middle of the corridor. “I think it’s in this locker here.”“Are those even used?” Lance asked as he, Lincoln and Bobbi all joined Daisy.“Look at that.” Lincoln said, pointing at the middle locker. One side of the door was littered with dents as if it had been forced shut.“Hang on.” Lance said, pushing past Daisy and jamming one end of his broom into the door and pushing it in. After a few attempts and a bit of force the door flew open.They all shouted in shock and fear as Raina’s lifeless body fell out and landed in front of them with a thud, her eyes open and staring into nothingness.“Holy shit.” Daisy panted in disbelief.“What the fuck…what the fuck…” Lincoln whispered, sinking to the floor.Bobbi breathed and tried to compose herself while Lance remained frozen in shock. She knelt down and checked Raina’s pulse. She wasn’t surprised to find there wasn’t one. “Oh my god…her neck’s been snapped.”“This isn’t happening. This just…this can’t be real.” Daisy whispered.“Someone killed her….what the fuck…who would…holy shit.” Lance muttered.“…Do you think…Grant?” Bobbi looked up at the others.“The bloke’s got issues, sure, but…murder?” Lance wondered.“We’ve seen how angry he gets, and how he was with her yesterday…” Lincoln noted.“Oh my god. This just…this can’t be happening.” Daisy exhaled.“What the fuck do we do?” Bobbi asked.“Hello?” A voice filled the other end of the corridor along with approaching footsteps. “Where the hell are you all?”They all froze with fear as they recognised the voice.Grant. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Fuck. Shit. Fuck. What now?” Lance whispered in a panic as Grant’s footsteps drew nearer.“We need to hide.” Lincoln swallowed, closing the locker door and looking down at Raina’s body. “Right, two of us grab an arm and the other two grab a leg.”“Are you serious?” Daisy asked.“Unfortunately.” Lincoln sighed. “Unless you want a potential murderer to see us having discovered his victim? Or unless you want an innocent yet creepy guy to discover us with a dead body?”“…Good point.” Daisy groaned, kneeling down and clutching one of Raina’s arms. “I’m sorry Raina.”Bobbi grabbed the other arm while Lincoln and Lance took hold of Raina’s legs. They all lifted her up and shuffled quickly down the corridor and through the nearest door into a supply closet.“I’ve had some fucking weird days with you lot but this takes the biscuit.” Lance said. Placing Raina down, Lincoln and Daisy shoved a filing cabinet up against the door and waited, the hearts all in their throats. It almost felt as if Grant slowed down as he walked past the door, but he still continued onwards and soon the sound of his footsteps faded away into the distance.Bobbi sank down to the floor with her head in her hands. “Holy shit.”“Did that really just happen?” Daisy wondered.“Well I’d hardly say the worst is over. Now what?” Lance asked.Saying nothing, Lincoln knelt down and closed Raina’s eyes with a sad expression. She’d hardly made a good impression on any of the group, but they all knew she didn’t deserve her fate.“I’ll text Jemma and Leo and get them to come here.” Bobbi announced, slightly unzipping her jumpsuit and taking out her phone.“We just need to stay calm.” Lincoln added.“Calm? We’re barricaded into a supply closet with a dead girl with the possible murderer looking for us!” Lance stated squeakily.“And if we give off the slightest hint that anything’s wrong then we’re screwed.” Lincoln said.“Well we need to tell someone! A girl’s been murdered; she probably has a family! We can’t just keep it to ourselves and leave her in a supply closet! Let’s get Coulson.” Bobbi suggested.“We can’t! Not yet. What if this was him?” Lincoln speculated.“Come on…” Lance grumbled.“We don’t know anything for sure! Why would anyone kill Raina? We can’t trust either of them, not yet. Even if we could, there’d be too many questions. It’d find a way to backfire on all of us. Same thing if we told the police; we’re delinquents, they’d just pin it on us.” Lincoln explained.“Let’s sneak into the security room and check the CCTV.” Bobbi said.“We can’t; I fried the security system the other day.” Lincoln said.“Why?”“He was helping me out with something. They fixed the generator but the CCTV was all lost.” Daisy said. “That doesn’t matter now. What matters is Raina. What do we do with her until we figure out a solid plan?”There was a gentle knock on the door. “Guys? You in there? We got Bobbi’s text.”Everyone felt calmed to hear Jemma’s voice. Lincoln pulled the filing cabinet away and opened the door to reveal a bewildered looking Jemma and Leo stood there.“What’s going on?” Jemma asked before looking down at the floor. “…Oh my god! Raina!”Lance grabbed Jemma and Leo, pulled them inside and closed the door again.“W-What did you do?” Leo asked, staring at Raina’s body in shock and fear.“Nothing. We found her stuffed in a locker. She’s dead.” Bobbi explained, white as a sheet.“…Oh dear god.” Jemma felt sick. Leo was lost for words.“Neck snapped.” Lincoln added.“Pretty sure it was Grant. I’m not sure Coulson would have the brute strength to do this.” Daisy said.“…Yeah, uh…yeah. Agreed.” Jemma said, unable to take her eyes off Raina. “This is horrible.”“I know.” Bobbi nodded sadly.“I, um…I-I think we’ve been idiots.” Leo stated.“One time the fucker speaks and it’s an insult.” Lance rolled his eyes.“Grant and Coulson…t-they were caught in the storm with us.” Leo said.“So?” Lincoln asked.“S-So what if…what if they got powers too? If we all did, albeit with some remaining undiscovered, i-it’s safe to assume they did too.” Leo explained.“…He’s right. How have we not thought of that before?” Bobbi sighed.“We got caught up in our own powers.” Lincoln said. “It makes sense.”“We can’t even tell Coulson about this now. God knows what powers he could have and possibly use against us. We’ve all noticed how unhinged Grant is and how angry he gets…what if it was the storm that did that too him? He wasn’t like that in the few minutes we knew him before it struck.” Jemma explained.“Shit.” Lance cursed.“So w-what are we going to do?” Leo asked.“We need to move Raina to somewhere else until we know what we’re doing. I think we can all be safe in our assumption that Grant did this, right?” Bobbi said. Everyone eventually nodded in agreement. “Okay, so…where do we take her where she won’t be discovered?”Silence for a moment.“…I…I have an idea.” Leo spoke up.…The community centre kitchen hadn’t been used for years after a food poisoning scandal shut it down. Since the building was barely used as it was, no one really missed it. Thanks to a spark from Lincoln, some of the abandoned equipment could easily be rebooted.Including the large freezer in the corner of the room.“Well, isn’t this morbid as fuck.” Lance said as the group all stared while Lincoln and Leo gently lifted Raina into the freezer and closed the door.“Morbid but smart.” Jemma said and turned to Leo. “This was a good idea.”Leo smiled slightly.“Makes you wonder how many girls are stuffed in Braveheart’s freezer, huh?” Lincoln grinned.Leo’s smile faded.“Right, let’s just get out of here; this is too much for me to handle. Coulson and Grant must be getting suspicious by now.” Daisy stated.“Daisy’s right, we need to get back and pretend like nothing’s wrong. Somehow.” Bobbi said.“What could possibly go wrong?” Jemma sighed.“It feels wrong just…leaving her in here, you know?” Lance shivered.“Careful, it almost sounded like you care then.” Lincoln said.“I have my moments.” Lance shrugged. “But seriously…that’s a person in there and we’ve treated her like a bloody ice lolly.”“And we can get justice for her, but not by getting the police or Coulson involved. We just need to stay focused and not let any of this get to us.” Bobbi stated calmly.“If I’d known community service was gonna be like this I’d have sooner gone to jail.” Lance muttered.…“You were nowhere to be found!” Coulson protested as he stood with the group in his office.“You told us to mop the floors…there are lots of floors to mop. You and Grant would be shit at hide and seek.” Lance said.“You were slacking off, don’t pretend otherwise.” Grant snapped, stood next to Coulson and glaring at each of the group in turn.“I think you need to trust us more.” Lincoln added.“…The floors upstairs are dirty. Care to explain that?” Grant asked smugly.“Your delicately polished shoes must have made them all grubby again when you were running about looking for us.” Lance retaliated. Grant looked as if he were about to blow when Coulson sighed.“…Right, I’m tired of this. Let’s just move on and delegate tasks for the afternoon.”“Coulson, you can’t just -”“-Grant, please. There’s no way of proving anything so we’ll have to just learn from this moving forward.”“I’ve got my eye on all of you.” Grant warned angrily. “Remember that.”With that, he stormed out of the room with the door slamming behind him.“Do you think he likes us?” Lance asked.“Just…just take this seriously. I don’t want to have to discipline anyone more than you already have been.” Coulson said. “Don’t do anything to anger Grant.”“…Has he always been so…short-tempered?” Jemma asked.“Well…no. In training he was a pleasant young man, but…well, who knows what personal stuff he could have going on, so just be wary of that. No one knows what goes on behind closed doors.” Coulson said.Bobbi heard Lincoln’s voice in her head and rolled her eyes. Or closed freezer doors.“There’s some graffiti on the walls outside that needs scrubbing off. Get busy.” Coulson ordered and gestured for everyone to leave.As everyone headed out, Daisy spoke up. “I think it’s safe to say the storm did affect Grant, then. Turned him into the Hulk minus the green.”“Raina pissed him off, he snapped and killed her. Anger can blind people to their actions. I think he’s slowly losing control.” Jemma speculated.“That makes the most sense, but still…what do we do about it? And was Coulson affected too?” Lincoln wondered.“If the bloke’s lucky he gained the power to grow hair back with the click of his fingers.” Lance smirked.“We just need to stay vigilant and wary of them both, and keep them away from the kitchen if necessary.” Bobbi said.“So, we just need to spend every waking moment pretending our lives aren’t some fucked up mess? The usual, then.” Lance nodded.“Just stay cool.” Lincoln said as the group headed out to get supplies for their next job.“I think Raina’s the champion when it comes to that.” Lance said. Everyone stopped and stared at him. “I know, I know, I hate myself. You’ve got to make jokes to hide the suffering.”“Let’s just hope Grant’s not in a hurry to check on his victim.” Jemma said as the group collected the supplies and headed around the side of the building towards the graffiti. “We’re screwed if he realises Raina’s body has been moved.”“Lincoln?” An unfamiliar voice sounded as the group turned the corner and saw a young man stood before them. He had greasy brown hair that went down to his shoulders and wore a manky grey tracksuit.Lincoln stepped forward as recognition filled his face. “…James?”…Lincoln and James sat on the edge of the roof of the community centre, looking down on the courtyard watching as the others scraped away at some graffiti.“Knew it was only a matter of time before you’d get yourself in trouble too.” James laughed.“Except I didn’t go to prison.” Lincoln smirked.“Exactly; must try harder.”“I thought you weren’t out for another few weeks.” Lincoln said.“Got let out early for good behaviour; I just needed to get out of that place. So tedious.” James explained.“So you won’t be setting any more houses on fire anytime soon, then?” Lincoln chuckled.“It was a moment of weakness.”“I’m sure it was.” Lincoln nodded with a smile. “You staying with your parents?”“Yeah; they won’t talk to me but they won’t see me out on the street, so…I spoke to Rebecca and she told me you got community service. She didn’t seem to speak very fondly of you.” James said.“We, uh…we had an awkward encounter a few weeks ago. Not sure we can recover.” Lincoln winced.James chuckled. “One of these days you’ll hold down a girl for more than a month. Any decent ones down there?”Lincoln looked at the others working and smiled. “They’re a good bunch, I guess.”“Calm down, there was some fondness in your voice then. Remember who your real friends are, mate. Give it a few months and you won’t remember any of their names. We’re the original duo.” James smiled.“…Yeah.” Lincoln said quietly.“…And we can tell each other everything, right?” James wondered.“Yeah. Yeah…of course.”“…The day I got out…do you remember there was that freak storm?” James asked.Lincoln felt his heart rate increase. “Y-Yeah?”James let out a sigh. “…It…something happened to me.”“What?” Lincoln asked all too quickly.“Don’t freak out mate, but…” James trailed off timidly before holding out his hand. Within seconds, a small flame appeared out of thin air. Lincoln shuffled back in shock. “I couldn’t control it for the first few days, I just stayed out of everyone’s way. I…I think I’m getting a better handling of it now. That storm changed me, man. I haven’t told anyone but you. Please don’t freak out, I -”“-James, it’s okay. You’re not alone.” Lincoln said, eyes wide with shock and elation. He placed a supportive hand on James’ shoulder and with a smirk sent a jolt through him.“Ow! That…holy fuck.” James exclaimed.“The storm changed me too. It’s not just us; everyone down there got affected too.” Lincoln said.“Holy crap, mate. This is bloody awesome!” James grinned. “We have superpowers! We’re like bloody gods.”“I wouldn’t go that far.” Lincoln shrugged.“But what are the odds? We both get powers! We’ve always been a team but now think of what we can do together! We wouldn’t have to worry about any bloody gangs again, that’s for sure. Those bastards down the road from my house won’t know what hit ‘em!” James said excitedly.“I don’t think we should go showcasing anything just yet. Or hurting people.” Lincoln said.“Why not? There’s no point in having these powers if we don’t use them, mate. We can run this place now. Our own bloody empire.”“I just…I don’t think that’s what we should use them for. The world’s chaotic enough as it is; why cause any more harm? Maybe…maybe we could do some good with them?” Lincoln shrugged.James was silent for a moment then looked over at the group working below them. “Is that what that lot have been telling you? Putting ideas in your head?”“It makes sense.”“The Lincoln Campbell I grew up with always wanted to get one over on those who screwed us over; made our lives hell. Think about how many times those blokes beat us to a pulp. We can finally end all of that for good; get our own back! I get locked up for a bit and suddenly you’re preaching about world bloody peace. That’s never gonna happen, mate, but my dream – our dream – could! Don’t let that lot change you; we’re blood brothers, right?” James stated.“People change, James.” Lincoln said.“People shouldn’t.” James snapped. “You’re my one true mate, Lincoln. We grew up together. Don’t let a bunch of people you hardly know get inside your head. Blood brothers, yeah?”Lincoln forced a smile “…Yeah.”“Exactly! So, tell me everything you know about these powers and shit. What’s the story with all that lot?” James prompted.“I…I don’t know if it’s my place to tell you. It’s a long, complicated story. You might not understand.” Lincoln said.“Hey, it’s me, mate. I’ll always be on your side.” James smiled. “You can tell me anything and everything. Trust me.”“…Okay. But you have to promise to keep this to yourself and not freak out.” Lincoln stated.James smiled. “Cross my heart and hope to die.”…“Well, it was nice while it lasted. Just watch; Lincoln’s gonna phase us out now his bestie is back in the picture. I mean, I know it’s hardly much of change for Braveheart over there since your presence is barely registered but still…we had a good thing going.” Lance moaned as everyone packed their things away at the end of the day.“Thanks.” Leo said sadly.“Truth hurts, mate.” Lance shrugged.“We need to focus on what matters now, and that’s what to do about Raina and Grant. We can’t just leave her in the kitchen freezer.” Daisy stated.“What would you suggest?” Lance asked.“…It’s not like we can bring her back. We should bury her somewhere. Properly.” Bobbi suggested.“What about her family?” Jemma asked.“If she has one…it’s awful, but maybe we’d have to cover it up. Track them down; leave them a note or something to make them think she just ran away.” Bobbi said.“…That’s probably our best option.” Daisy sighed. “This still doesn’t feel real.”“I think we’d better get used to that feeling.” Lance said.Lincoln walked in, followed by James. “Did Coulson or Grant notice I was gone?”“We covered for you, don’t worry. Grant’s neck is, like, seventy percent vein now.” Bobbi explained.“Thanks. Everyone, this is my friend James. He, uh…he got powers from the storm too.” Lincoln revealed.“What can you do?” Lance asked.“Literally play with fire, mate.” James smirked, clicking his fingers and briefly lighting a flame in his hand.“Fire?! That’s bloody awesome. Why can’t I get fire?” Lance moaned.“What did you get then?” James asked.“Wish I bloody knew.” Lance sulked.“Listen…I told James everything. Everything. But he’s cool.” Lincoln stated.“Not with those powers, he’s not.” Daisy chuckled.“Your secrets are safe with me. Thanks for taking care of my old pal while I’ve been away, but we can take care of things now. You need to get rid of a body, and you may as well call me a human incinerator.” James announced.“…That’s an option and we appreciate it, but I think we should handle our own mess.” Jemma said.“Or you could just deal with the problem right now.” James said.“We don’t want to risk anything getting exposed. The fire alarms could go off or someone could spot us trying to move Raina. We need to carefully think this through.” Bobbi stated.James laughed. “Come on, stop being such pussies. Just get it done! I’m your salvation, guys, so let’s get this over with. Right, mate?”James turned to Lincoln, who reluctantly shrugged. “I think they have a point, James. We can’t afford to be careless. If this gets out…our powers…the world hates what it doesn’t understand.”“Why are you overcomplicating this? Back in the old days if we had a problem we dealt with it there and then. We moved on and didn’t look back.” James argued.“Except our problems never involved superpowers or dead bodies, James. And…the old days are gone. Like you said, we moved on and didn’t look back.” Lincoln said.“Come on, mate. You sound like a bloody moron. Let me handle this. We’re the dream team, after all, not a bunch of timid pansies you ain’t gonna see again when this is all over.” James spat.“Don’t call them that.” Lincoln stated. “They’re my friends.”“So am I.” James said angrily. “Your oldest friend. Don’t just drop me like I’m nothing!”“Like you dropped me when you went to prison?” Lincoln posed.James let out a heavy sigh. “…I see. You meet some new friends, go through some shit together and think they can replace me? We’ve had years, Lincoln. Years. Don’t go choosing people you hardly know over me.”“Why are you making it out like I have to choose?”“Because they’re too scared to act! I’m not! They don’t want to live with these gifts we’ve been given the way I do – the right way. Sticking with them is wasting the powers we’ve been given. Let’s actually make a difference with them!” James exclaimed.“You haven’t seen the bad side of these powers, James.” Lincoln stated. “People have died. More people still could.”“I think we should just calm down and talk things through.” Jemma suggested.“NO! We’ve done enough talking as it is. You can talk and plan all you want…or you can act and embrace our new destiny. We could conquer the world, Lincoln, not sit and chat in a locker room. It’s me or them.” James declared.Lincoln sighed. “…Don’t make me choose. There’s no need for this.”“They’re holding you back!” James shouted.“They’re not the ones forcing ultimatums down my throat!” Lincoln retaliated.“If we’re not careful, more people could get hurt.” Bobbi stated.“You got that right.” James said as flames grew out of his hands. “I’m gonna fix your problem and then we’re getting away from these people and starting living the way we deserve to. The way gods do. I’ll start with the probation workers and then anyone else who gets in the way.”“James, stop this…this isn’t you. Maybe it’s not just fire manipulation…” Lincoln began.“Lincoln…are you with me or not?” James asked.“I’m with you…but not like this.” Lincoln shook his head.James saw red as he looked around the rest of the room. “What did you do to my friend?”“He’s our friend too.” Daisy said.“Don’t you dare even compare yourselves to me…I am so much more to him than any of you. I am…I am better. I am so much more. If I have to tell the police that you all killed that girl to get you out of the way, I will.” James threatened.“Don’t you dare.” Lincoln warned.“One more time, Lincoln…come with me. Let’s end this.”“…Not like this, James.”James’ head dropped with a sigh. “The storm really did change you, huh? It took everything away that made you a man.”James threw out his arms with a roar of anger, sending flames raging towards the others. The flames singed the group’s clothes and sent them flying across the room as James burst out of the doors and ran towards the kitchen. Lincoln got straight back up and hurried after his friend as fast as he could, ignoring the pleas from the others to stop.He smashed through the kitchen doors to find James crouched in the corner of the room, Raina’s body in his arms.“Stay back, Lincoln. Let me do what has to be done.” James warned. Lincoln continued towards him. “I said, STAY BACK!”He shot a fireball, sending Lincoln flying back and smashing into the wall. James’ eyes expanded and looked all black as he observed the flames grow in his hand and reach towards Raina’s body.Suddenly, a jolt through his body, sending his arm backwards. He looked up to see Lincoln stood with a hand raised to the ceiling.“This isn’t you, James.” Lincoln said sadly. “I’m sorry.”A bolt of electricity shot out towards the ceiling. Within seconds, water fell all around as the sprinklers activated. James let out a roar of anger, throwing Raina’s body aside as he stood up.“WE SHOULD BE GODS! WE CAN BE ANYTHING WE WANTED!”“I don’t believe that’s what we should use our powers for. There are enough people in the world who think like that.” Lincoln stated.“AFTER EVERYTHING! YOU’VE LET THOSE…THOSE FREAKISH DELINQUENTS CONSUME YOU!” James shouted.“No, James. You let your powers consume you. That’s happening to someone else, the man who killed Raina…I have to stop him. I have to stop you. Please.”“WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU? YOU ARE MY FRIEND!” James roared.“…I am.” Lincoln choked. “I am your friend.”“I WON’T STOP, LINCOLN! I WILL LIVE UP TO MY GIFTS, EVEN IF YOU WON’T! I WILL BE SO MUCH MORE THAN THE REST OF YOU…I WILL BE A GOD! I WILL BE UNSTOPPABLE! I WILL…I WILL…I…I w-will…”James held a hand to his chest as words failed him. He looked down to see a red glow spreading across his body. He looked up at Lincoln, who stood frozen in horror as the light faded in James’ chest and in his eyes.He fell backwards, on top of Raina’s body. Lifeless.Lincoln stared in shock. He urged himself to move but couldn’t, and only watched with tears pouring down his face as James’ body burst into flames despite the sprinklers. The flames spread to Raina’s body in an all-consuming blaze.When the sprinklers stopped and the rest of the group rushed into the kitchen, they were met with the sight of Lincoln sobbing as he crouched over a pile of ashes where James and Raina used to be.…Lincoln stood solemnly over the two mounds of dirt in the middle of a nearby wood. They couldn’t know for sure how much of the ashes were correctly separated, but it only seemed right to bury two piles nonetheless – one for James and one for Raina. James’ powers were a curse; they were too much for a human body to handle – no matter what, his heart would have given out eventually.Coulson had pinned the sprinkler incident on the ‘mysterious’ occurrence days earlier when the security had been fried and the entrance had been smashed open (Daisy and Lincoln were obviously reluctant to tell him they were to blame). Bobbi had left a note for Raina’s family explaining she had run away and informed Coulson of the same, while Lincoln knew he was the only one who would truly miss James.The group had helped Lincoln dig the holes and payed their respects, putting their faith in Lincoln’s belief that James had been a different person before the storm. After paying their respects to James and Raina, they had parted ways and gone home. All except for Daisy, who needed to wait for the community centre to dry out before she could return and sleep. Plus, she felt a need to make sure Lincoln was okay.She stood next to him in silence for a long while.“It’s funny, isn’t it?” Lincoln said. “I’ve been focusing so much on what the storm gave me that I didn’t consider that it would take things away too.”“…I’m sorry.” Daisy said.“Neither of them deserved this. I know Raina didn’t make the best impression, but…still…”Daisy nodded. “I know.”“…He was my best friend.” Lincoln choked.Daisy took Lincoln’s hand in hers. “I know. But just remember you’re not alone. And if you ever want to talk about any of this…just come and find me. Believe me, I’m an expert in losing people.”“…It’s strange…I…I can’t even focus on the good. All that’s running through my head is all those things he said…the storm taking away what made me a man.” Lincoln said sadly.“He was wrong.” Daisy stated. “You know…I never knew my parents. My real ones, I mean. I used to dream of all those cheesy scenarios where my dad would carry me on his shoulders or push me on the swings. I see kids with their dads walking down the street and they’ll hold their hands and have tea parties and let me cover their faces with make-up…and I always think how that is how a man loves. Openly and freely. I can see that in you; you loved your friend and will never be afraid to show it. The way you love is more proof that you’re a man than you’ll ever need.”Lincoln let a tear fall as he faced Daisy. “Thank you.”“…I’ll leave you alone. See you tomorrow.” Daisy smiled, squeezing Lincoln’s hand before walking off.Lincoln knelt down in front of all that was left of his friend and closed his eyes.“…Sleep well, buddy.”He stood up, took one last look and remembered his friend as the man he knew before the storm.He didn’t look back. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Have you got your phone?”“Yes, mum.”“And your keys?”“Yes, mum.”“And your lunch?”“Yes, mum. How many times do you have to check?” Leo groaned as he stood by his front door ready to go to the community centre for yet another day of feeling out of place and in fear of being murdered by a psychotic probation worker. The usual.“I’m just making sure.” Leo’s mother said as she joined him out the front of the house and locked the door. “I can give you a lift if you like.”“I prefer walking, thanks.” Leo said.“Okay. Be good; stay out of trouble. My Leo doing bloomin’ community service. Almost unthinkable.”“It was a one off, mum.” Leo sighed.“It better had be, young man. See you when I get home from work. Empty the dishwasher when you get back, okay?”“Okay.” Leo rolled his eyes as his mother kissed him on the cheek, got into the car and drove off. Leo sighed heavily as he made his way towards the community centre; it wasn’t a long walk but the cold breeze made it feel like miles. Even so, he still preferred the calmness that came with walking as opposed to the loudness that came with cars or buses or his mother’s nattering about ‘that bitch Irene’ from work. When it came to walking, he could take his time and know he was in control.Of course, that feeling would end as soon as he arrived. He could only wonder what insults would be thrown at him this time. If anyone bothered to speak to him at all. He’d always been shy around people, but after the storm he’d hoped that he finally had an experience to share with people and bond with them through it; instead, they’d all bonded without him.He supposed he’d have to give Lincoln a pass for a while and just take the insults; he was still shaken up by the death of his friend James, so Leo expected more insults than ever before as a coping mechanism. At least now Lincoln had a reason to be an arsehole. Lance was more irritating than hurtful, but he’d never actually shown any kindness towards him. As for the girls, they’d barely registered his existence at all – Jemma had said they were friends but had barely spoken a word to him since. Was there something that wrong with him? Maybe he wasn’t as traditionally good looking as Lance and didn’t have muscles and abs like Lincoln, but surely he had something going for him? Anything?Perhaps he shouldn’t blame them for how they treated him, though; his mother was the only family he had. His father left when he was little, after all. If his own family didn’t want to bother with him, why would anyone else?He turned the corner and just as the community centre became visible, he saw the others walking in and chatting in a group. He knew most of them lived far apart, and yet they were walking in together. What a surprise.He timidly approached them. Lincoln was the first to notice him. “Morning, Braveheart.”Leo just nodded; Lincoln had worse nicknames for him, so that was a decent start to the day. He could smell the delicious scents of sausages and bacon coming off of them. “W-Where have you all been?”Jemma looked startled. “Oh…we, uh…we all went for breakfast. You know, at the diner down the block?”Leo tried not to look too upset. “…Oh. I see.”“We’d have asked you along, but it’s hardly your scene, is it?” Lance said.“…I-I eat food.” Leo said.“As shocking a revelation as that is, that’s not what I’m talking about.” Lance smirked. “It’s just that…well, there were other human beings there. You don’t tend to do well in those situations, do you?”“You…you don’t know the first thing about me.” Leo said.“We know you’re a freak.” Lincoln said. “That’s something.”“I’m n-not a freak. Stop…stop saying that.” Leo said shyly.“Leave him alone, guys.” Daisy said. “Ignore them.”“Well you all…you all ignore me, so I suppose I can too.” Leo snapped. He regretted it instantly.“Hey, I was sticking up for you!” Daisy stated.“Really? Because…because I don’t recall you ever treating me much better. C-Can you even tell me my surname?” Leo posed. Daisy stayed silent. “Of course not.”“Leo, come on…you’re overreacting.” Bobbi said.“Says the girl everyone talks to.” Leo said. “I-I don’t even need my powers to be invisible, do I?”Leo hurried on ahead of the group while Lance and Lincoln chuckled. Jemma went to shout after him but words escaped her.…The group got changed and made their way into the main hall, where Coulson and Grant were waiting alongside another woman they didn’t recognise. She had a stern look on her face and was dressed all in black. You could tell by the sight of her that she could snap you in half in seconds.Lance chuckled as he noticed Coulson’s arm was bandaged up and tied around his shoulder. “What did you do, over-polish your shoes and slip over?”“Funny, but no. I was hit by a car last night, if you must know.” Coulson revealed. “It does mean, however, that I can’t carry out my duties to the best of my ability. Therefore, we have organised for my colleague here to share active duties of overlooking you with Grant while I remain doing office work. This is Melinda May; be sure to treat her with the respect you’ve shown to both Grant and myself and there shouldn’t be any problems.”“You step out of line, you’ll regret it.” Melinda stated sternly. “Any problems and you’ll regret them exceptionally quickly.”“Are you married?” Lance asked with a smirk. Melinda glared at him until his expression faded into one of fear.“I’ll be in my office if circumstance requires my attention, but Melinda and Grant will be the ones you should go to first if any problems arise.” Coulson nodded and headed out.“First thing’s first.” Melinda stated, stepping forward. “Which one of you has been sleeping here?”Bobbi heard Lance’s voice in her head and held back a laugh. Keep talking and the answer is me. Then she saw Daisy go white as a sheet and remembered the truth.“I’d hate to have to reprimand you all, so I’d appreciate someone owning up.” Melinda warned.“Answer. Her.” Grant seethed, sending a shiver through everyone’s spine.“Fine. It’s me, okay?” Daisy admitted reluctantly.“Holy plot twist, Batman.” Lance whispered.“Why do you feel the need to sleep here?” Melinda asked.“…Because I didn’t have anywhere else to go.” Daisy said.Everyone felt a pang of sympathy for her.“I highly doubt that somehow.” Grant hissed. “You’ve been abusing this property.”“You were all tasked with cleaning the toilets this morning.” Melinda revealed. “You’ll instead be cleaning them on your own while the others partake in something else. You will also no longer reside here. Understood?”“…Yeah.” Daisy said quietly.“She can stay with me.” Jemma announced. “No arguments this time.”“Glad to hear it. Get to work, and the rest of you can come with me. The computer system needs some admin work doing.” Melinda announced. Daisy hurried off and away from the group while the others followed Melinda out.Grant watched them all go; the second they were out of his sight he felt a calmness and relaxed his hands, looking down and watching as blood dripped onto the floor from where his nails had dug into his skin.…Grant walked out of the bathroom and inspected his hand. The blood had stopped dripping out. He made his way along the corridor and up to the small set of lockers placed against the wall. He gazed upon the middle one, noting the dents along the side – his fine work.He didn’t take enough time to appreciate the glory he felt in the moment he’d followed Raina down the same corridor and snapped her neck as she begged for her life. The release of the rage he’d felt inside of him had given him a pleasure he’d never experienced before but yearned for again. When the opportunity came to gain his vengeance over any of those weak, pathetic children, he would take it.He knew he needed to dispose of the body soon; he looked around to check he was alone and decided to take another look at his good work. He took a step towards the locker and pulled the door open, anticipation flowing through his veins. Power. Victory.Anticipation returned to the all-consuming rage he’d been used to as he looked inside. Raina was gone, which could only mean someone had discovered what he could accomplish. They wouldn’t understand the power the death had given him.He knew if it had been an adult the police would have been notified already. It had to be those kids. They had to be eradicated, and soon.Grant smiled through the anger, knowing the moment was coming when he would feel the power taking a life had brought him once again.…“Funnily enough, Daisy would be the one who was best at this.” Bobbi sighed as the group all sat at a computer in the server room sorting out files and filling out online forms.“I can always just fry all the computers?” Lincoln suggested.“Not worth it.” Lance said. “I’d much rather do this than something that requires me to get up off my arse and move.”“That was a really nice thing you did, Jem; offering Daisy somewhere to live.” Bobbi said.“I just wish she’d said something sooner.” Jemma shrugged.“It was just her pride, that’s all.” Bobbi sighed. “Understandable. We’re all human, after all.”“Well, I’m not sure Braveheart is.” Lincoln smirked. Leo was sat away from the group at a computer in the corner, and did nothing. “You can’t have a hissy fit like you did this morning and then not show a reaction, Scotty. It’s always more fun when you act like a pussy.”“I’m NOT a p-pussy.” Leo snapped.“That’s a shame; that would have been the only way you’d get close to one.” Lincoln chuckled.“Shut up.” Leo said.“Woah, is the freak growing some balls?” Lincoln wondered.“I’ve…I’ve always had balls, you’ve just n-never noticed them.” Leo stated.“Well that’s the gayest thing I’ve ever heard.” Lance laughed.“Just leave it out, yeah?” Jemma said. “Stop picking on him.”“Oh, so now you feel guilty? Don’t act like you’ve never laughed behind his back before now. In the diner this morning you said you thought he was weird!” Lincoln laughed.Jemma froze as Lincoln and Lance laughed and Bobbi lowered her head. She looked over and saw the look on Leo’s face; broken and hurt. She felt like crying. “I didn’t mean-”Leo stood up from his computer. “…Y-You think I don’t know what people think of me? It’s…it’s all anyone ever thinks of me. M-My dad left when I was eleven and…and I always wondered why but…but when I see how everyone treats me…it’s obvious. It was my fault, w-wasn’t it?”Everyone was silent. Even Lincoln’s face had dropped.“I’m sorry that I’m not like you are. I-I don’t like the things you like. B-But we’ve all been through stuff together and I thought…I thought I finally had a chance to make some friends. Because I’ve never known what it was like to h-have any. You all h-have.” Leo continued, turning to Lincoln. “Y-You’ve just lost your best friend yet have no problem p-pushing me away.”“Don’t you dare.” Lincoln snapped, getting up and walking up to Leo. “That’s out of line.”“Y-You’ve been out of line since we first met. You’ve been horrible to me.” Leo quivered.“You know why?” Lincoln asked. “Because you’re an easy target. Because you’re a freak of nature. You creep people out and the only reason any of us can stomach your presence is because we know in a few weeks we never have to see you again.”“Lincoln…” Jemma argued.“How about you stop blaming the world for not having friends, Braveheart, and look at yourself? Because you’re the problem, no one else. Can’t blame your dad for leaving; lucky bastard had the right idea.” Lincoln spat.All too quickly, Leo’s fist smashed against Lincoln’s face and sent him to the floor. Before anyone could stop him, Lincoln got back up and punched him back, sending a stream of blood running out of his nose and onto the carpet.“You piece of sh-”“Enough!” Bobbi shouted, grabbing Lincoln’s arm as Jemma got up and rushed over to Leo.Jemma knelt down and reached to touch Leo’s face. “Are you okay?”Leo pushed her away. “Just leave me alone. I get the m-message.”He vanished before their eyes and the slamming of the door was the only indication that he had left the room.“You went way too far!” Jemma shouted as she stood up.“Oh, don’t go acting all Little Miss Perfect now. No point being a two-faced bitch to the freak.” Lincoln seethed.“You call me that again and I’ll hit you even harder than he did.” Jemma raged and stormed out to look for Leo.Lincoln and Bobbi looked at each other in disapproval.Lance whistled to fill the silence. “Bit awkward, this, ain’t it?”…“Leo?”Jemma knew she shouldn’t go into the men’s bathroom, but she’d exhausted all other potential places Leo could have gone in the building. She knew him enough to know he wouldn’t leave the building until service was over for the day. Though for all she knew, she could have walked straight past him and not known he was there.The thought made the guilt feel even heavier in her chest than ever. She didn’t mean ‘weird’ in a bad way but an interesting one, she just didn’t tell that to the rest of the group when asked.“Leo?” She stepped further into the bathroom, but it appeared to be empty. Just as she turned to leave she heard shuffling from inside a cubicle. “Leo? Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean you were weird in that way, I meant it in an endearing way, that’s all. I should’ve made that clear but I chose not to. I can understand why you’d be angry. We’re all arseholes, aren’t we? Maybe you’re better off without us.”She knocked on the cubicle door. “Please come out and talk. Open up.”A moment. The cubicle door clicked as it unlocked. Jemma smiled victoriously as she cautiously pushed the door open.She screamed as Grant stepped out and threw her against the wall before wrapping his arms around her throat.…“I didn’t know. About his dad.” Bobbi said sadly.“He didn’t tell us, how could we have known?” Lincoln asked, holding his sleeve to his cheek to stop the cut he’d received from bleeding.“Because we never let him. Whenever he did speak someone cut him off or insulted him.” Bobbi said.“…The guy has had his moments; the freezer thing was pretty clever. But he’s still not all there.” Lance shrugged.“He’s spent every day since his dad left hating and blaming himself. If you hated yourself that much, you wouldn’t want to share yourself and be open with anyone, would you?” Bobbi posed.Lance was silent for a moment. “…I, I guess not. No.”“I feel awful.” Bobbi sighed. “We’ve been sharing all this burden together then forcing him to bear it on his own.”“He’s only got himself to blame.” Lincoln said.“The only life he’s ever known is people shitting on him. We added fuel to the fire. He’s used to loneliness but scared to let anyone in.” Bobbi said.Lincoln shrugged. “…I guess the whole dad thing sucks. But he is weird.”“And did we have to keep pointing that out?” Bobbi asked. Lincoln stayed silent.“Look,” Lance began, “let’s just find Jemma and sort all of this mess out before –”A deathly scream sounded in the distance. No one said anything more as they flew out of the room.…The world was growing dark as Grant’s grip on Jemma’s neck grew firmer and firmer. She clawed and kicked it him as he held her up against the wall, his eyes a dull black and the veins under his skin glowing red. Grant Ward was more of a monster than he’d ever been before.Jemma’s vision began to blur. This was it. She was terrified and she was going to die. She’d be lucky to be buried in a forest next to James and Raina. Grant could kill one of her friends. He could kill Daisy or Bobbi or Leo. Her friends.She thought her mind was playing tricks on her when a different cubicle door burst open and a toilet seat seemed to float towards her, slamming onto Grant’s head.He dropped her and fell to the floor, clutching his head as blood drained from it. The seat smashed into pieces on the floor and Jemma felt a force move her towards the corner of the room. There was a warmth on her cheek; she reached for it and felt skin. Suddenly Leo faded into view before her. “A-Are you alright?”She couldn’t muster words. She sobbed as she squeezed his hand against her cheek and nodded.He turned away from her to face Grant, who got to his feet still clutching his bleeding scalp. He looked at Leo in utter shock; he’d seen him appear before his very eyes out of thin air.“…The storm…” Grant groaned.“…Y-Yeah. It wasn’t just you, you bastard.” Leo spat.Jemma reached for Leo’s hand instinctively. Grant was still going to kill them, but she found comfort knowing she wouldn’t die alone. Leo’s grip on her hand tightened as he remained fixated on Grant.Grant glared at the two, almost unable to comprehend what was happening. His head was thumping. If Leo had abilities…what could Jemma do? He couldn’t risk it, not yet. But he would come for them, and come for them soon.Saying nothing, he stepped out of the room and ran off. The second he vanished Jemma’s knees gave way and she fell to the floor. Leo sank down with her. “J-Jemma?”Jemma continued to sob as she threw her arms around Leo and cried into his shoulder. He knelt frozen in place. He wasn’t sure if anyone but his mum had hugged him before.He tentatively wrapped his arms around her. “…It’s okay. You’re okay.”Lincoln, Lance and Bobbi also rushed in and looked on in horror at the mess before them. They could only stare in silence as Jemma’s sobs broke their hearts.…“Bloody lucky he was in there after all. Doesn’t bear thinking about the alternative.” Lance said as he and Lincoln stood with Daisy in the locker room explaining what had happened. Jemma was sat at the other end of the room with Bobbi’s jacket wrapped around her and Bobbi sitting with her in supportive silence.“He saved her life.” Daisy said. “Even after it all kicked off with you guys, he still saved her.”“Well he wasn’t gonna just let her die, was he? He’s a bit odd, but he’s not a monster.” Lincoln said. His face sank. “Even though I let him believe he was.”The door opened and Leo walked in solemnly.“What happened?” Lance asked.“…Uh, well…I told Coulson and Melinda that I slipped off a faulty toilet seat and hit my head; it bled a bit but I felt fine. They wanted to take a closer look, but…well, casual mentions of inappropriate touching turned them off the idea. I-I thought it best not to mention Grant just yet. I, uh…I wanted to see what you…you guys thought we should do.” Leo explained.“You hit Mr Muscle the Murderer with a toilet seat. I hate to admit it but that’s kinda badass.” Lance said.Leo smiled shyly then turned to Jemma. “Y-You okay?”Jemma smiled and nodded.“Leo, what you did was incredible.” Daisy said.“Please, don’t.” Leo looked down at the floor. “Don’t pretend this changes anything. You still think…you know…”“It changes something.” Lance stated. “It proved that we’re arseholes. And yeah, you’re pretty weird but I’ll take that over a rage-fuelled murdering probation worker any day of the week.”“We were wrong, Leo. And we’re really sorry.” Bobbi said, looking at Lincoln. “All of us.”Lincoln sighed and walked over to Leo. “Look, I guess I’ve been kinda close-minded and…well, a prick. And I’m sorry about all of the mean shit I’ve done. I’ll do my best to stop.”“I…I just wanted to be your friend.” Leo announced.“I know I took the piss, but I never hated you. If anything, I don’t deserve to be your friend. But I’d like to be.” Lincoln said, offering his hand to Leo. “The insults, the nicknames…that’s over.”Leo smiled shyly and shook Lincoln’s hand. “I actually, um…I actually don’t mind Braveheart that much.”Lincoln chuckled. “Braveheart it is.”“And I’m sorry for punching you earlier.”“Don’t be; hell of a right hook you got there.” Lincoln nodded.“Well if Lincoln gets to have a cool nickname thing with you than I want to!” Daisy stated. “Um…you were right earlier, I don’t know your surname. What is it?”“Fitz.” Jemma spoke up. “Leo Fitz.”Leo smiled at her.“Fitz…I like that. Mind if I call you Fitz?” Daisy asked.“…Not at all.” Leo nodded happily.“Sweet. We’re all gonna go for a drink and try and forget today. I take it you drink as well as eat food?” Daisy asked.“Y-Yeah.” Leo nodded. “I also love that diner you went to this morning.”Daisy grinned. “Point made. Note taken.”“Awesome; let’s go drink Grant Ward away and deal with the bastard tomorrow.” Lance announced as everyone packed up their things and headed out. Jemma stayed behind as everyone else left and waited to be alone with Leo.“Thank you.” She said timidly. “You saved my life.”“Well, I dunno…” Leo blushed.“No, you did. You’re the hero. Thank you.” Jemma smiled, kissing Leo on the cheek before heading out.Leo watched her go with a sweet smile. Thoughts of Grant Ward and the horrors of the day faded from his thoughts as he closed his locker and followed Jemma outside. Because whatever came his way next, he knew he’d get through it.With a little help from his friends. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Jemma ignored her mother’s calls from the other side of the bathroom door as she stood in silence in the shower, her eyes closed as she let the steaming hot water soak into her skin. She didn’t close her eyes for too long though. Every time she did all she could see was Grant’s face staring into her eyes as he’d tried to choke the life out of her.She’d lost track of time but knew she’d been in the shower for quite a while; she was probably already late for community service. That was presumably why her mum’s voice had gotten louder with every attempt to gain Jemma’s attention.Eventually she gave up on trying to shut out the world and stepped out of the shower, wrapping herself in a towel and opening the bathroom door to meet her mother’s disapproving gaze. “You’re going to be so late, Jemma!”“Sorry. Lost track of time.” Jemma said.“You’re usually so good with time keeping.” Jemma’s mother sighed. “Am I allowed to go in now?”Jemma nodded timidly. “…Yeah…sorry.”“Are you alright, love? You’ve been quiet the last couple of days.”“I’m fine, mum.” Jemma stated and moved towards her bedroom door at the top of the stairs. Just as she went to reach for the handle, she heard her mother’s voice call out.“What happened to your neck?!”Jemma froze in shock. She’d let the towel slip down a bit and revealed the bruises on her neck Grant had left behind. Her mind filled with the memories she’d been pushing out again; the feeling of not being able to breathe, the anger and fury in Grant’s grip and in his fiery eyes.Jemma’s mother gently touched one of the bruises, but all she could picture was Grant’s grip on it not so long ago. She panicked and pushed her mother away. “Don’t touch me!”Jemma turned and realised far too late that she’d pushed her mother towards the edge of the stairs. She screamed in horror as she watched her mother fall down and land on the floor below with a loud bump.“MUM!” Jemma wailed, rushing down the stairs and kneeling down, rolling her mother onto her front. She felt for a pulse. There wasn’t one. “MUM! NO! PLEASE! NO! MUM!”As she let out a cry of sorrow, the world around her seemed to stop as if someone had paused a video game. She couldn’t explain it, but she felt out of place; disconnected to the rest of the world somehow. Suddenly, everything seemed to move around her in a pace she could never keep up with, all ending with a flash of white.“What happened to your neck?!”Jemma froze in shock. She’d let the towel slip down a bit and revealed the bruises on her neck Grant had left behind.But she already knew that. That had already happened, hadn’t it? Yet there she stood in front of her bedroom door with her mother shouting after her.Her mind filled with the memories she’d been pushing out again; the feeling of not being able to breathe, the anger and fury in Grant’s grip and in his fiery eyes.She remembered already reliving that feeling not so long ago, hadn’t she? This had all happened before. Because the next thing that happened was…Jemma’s eyes widened as she recalled what happened next. She quickly turned around and grabbed her mother’s arm that had been reaching out to touch her neck.“Jemma? What are you doing?” Her mother asked.Jemma let go of her mother’s hand, the air in her lungs suddenly nearly all gone. She pulled the towel up to cover her neck. “It’s nothing, mum, I…you know how boys can be. They can get carried away…”“Jemma Anne Simmons, I have warned you about fooling around with boys!”“It won’t happen again, mum.” Jemma said, for some reason finding herself holding back tears. “I’m sorry.”“…You need to hurry up and get ready, missy.” Jemma’s mother warned before heading into the bathroom and closing the door.Jemma’s lump in her throat slowly faded as she caught her breath. What the hell just happened? She’d accidentally killed her own mother and then…she didn’t? The same event occurred twice, but the second time went differently because…because she knew what would happen otherwise. It had almost been like she –Jemma gasped. It had almost been like she’d travelled back in time.…“Call me when you get this.” Coulson finished leaving a voicemail on Grant’s phone and placed his phone back in his pocket with a sigh. He turned to Melinda and shook his head. “Still not picking up. He may not be in the best of moods when he turns up, but he always has at least made it here.”“I can handle it on my own.” Melinda stated, gesturing to Coulson’s bandaged hand following his earlier accident. “You need to keep resting up that arm.”“Are you sure?” Coulson asked.“I’m always sure.” Melinda nodded. They both walked up to where the group were all gathered together, Jemma only just arriving on time.“Grant Ward has seemingly vanished into thin air, so I’ll be putting in more time into monitoring you all.” Melinda announced as the group exchanged subtle, worried glances. “I’ll be supplying you with some utensils so you can fix some of the holes in the fencing around the building. I’m sure you’ll have a lot of fun.”“I’m sure.” Lance whispered.The group were quickly given tools and sent outside to start working on the fencing. As soon as they were all alone, Jemma spoke up.“Guys, I know what my power is.”“Oh, for fuck sake.” Lance cursed.“What is it?” Daisy wondered.“I had a hell of a morning.” Jemma explained. “Mum saw the bruises on my neck and in the panic I…she, uh, she fell down the stairs and…well, it doesn’t matter. Next thing I knew, everything went crazy and the next thing I knew the whole thing was happening again so I could change things. I can go back in time.”“Now that is awesome!” Lincoln grinned.“Yeah, I’m so happy for you.” Lance groaned.“I’m guessing it was just the panic that set it off, and I don’t know if I can go any further back or even forward but…I can learn, right? Just like you guys all are?” Jemma speculated.“Makes a lot of sense. We’re all still honing in on what we can specifically do.” Bobbi said.“Not all of us.” Lance moaned. “I’m the only buggar who doesn’t know what they can do now.”“You’ll figure it out.” Daisy stated. “We also need to decide what to do about Grant. If he’s on the run now, maybe we should tell Coulson? Or the police?”“It could still backfire on us, though; the risks are still there.” Bobbi warned.“Maybe we scared him off? Braveheart doing all that invisible shit must have shaken him up.” Lincoln said.“I, uh, I doubt that will be enough to keep him away.” Leo spoke up. “He’ll be back and we have to be ready.”“…I think we should tell Coulson and go from there.” Jemma said. “I think he’s a good man. We can trust him. And I…I don’t think I can live with just sitting by and doing nothing.”Jemma instinctively reached up and gently touched her bruised neck.“We can always try and find him ourselves?” Lance suggested.“Where would we start?” Leo questioned.“Well, I don’t know. Maybe he just fancied a night out and got wasted? He might be asleep in a kebab shop somewhere.” Lance said.“We can’t let it escalate any more than it already has.” Bobbi said. “Jemma…Jemma could’ve been killed.”Jemma looked at Leo and smiled. He smiled back and looked down at the floor.“That made this whole thing actually, properly real. We have to act.” Lincoln said, a lump in his throat. “…Too many people have died already.”“So…are we really gonna tell Coulson?” Bobbi asked.“We don’t have to mention any powers; we can just say Grant attacked Jemma. That wouldn’t be a lie.” Daisy said. “Maybe bringing Raina into it as well isn’t the way to go.”“Agreed.” Leo added. “We need to be smart about this.”“If we tell him, I want to be there. Maybe I can read his thoughts and see what he’s thinking?” Bobbi suggested.“Jemma is the one who went through what she went through.” Lincoln said, turning to Jemma. “It should be up to you.”Jemma was silent for a moment, the memories of Grant’s fury running through her veins. “I…I just need this feeling to stop. I want to tell him.”…Coulson listened to Jemma and Bobbi’s story in silence and with his full unwavering attention. He stayed quiet as Jemma showed him the bruises on her neck and as Bobbi vaguely mentioned how the storm may have altered his brain chemistry; something convoluted no one could really understand and with no mention of powers or murders. Naturally.An eerie silence filled the room for a long while.“…We’ll contact the police. They can start a manhunt. I wish you’d come to me sooner.” Coulson said eventually.Relief flowed through Jemma and Bobbi. “Thank you.”“Grant…he hasn’t been himself lately. I tried to blind myself from it but…this is just too much. I…I’m so sorry that I let this happen to you. I’ve let you down as your probation worker.” Coulson sighed.“It’s not our fault, Coulson. Honestly.” Jemma stated firmly.“We just want Grant to be found and stopped so he can’t hurt anyone else.” Bobbi said.Coulson nodded. “Me too. Thank you for being so brave and bringing this to me. Melinda and I will sort this. I imagine the police will want statements from you all.” Coulson explained.“We understand that.” Bobbi nodded.“Okay. I’ll get Melinda and the rest of you just wait around, okay? We’ll move the other jobs we had planned for you for another day. Hopefully we can get the police here as soon as possible.” Coulson said.With that, Coulson rushed off to find Melinda while Jemma and Bobbi returned to the group, who were all waiting in the locker room after finishing the breakages in the fencing.Lance got to his feet. “Well?”“They’re gonna call the police and set up a manhunt; they’ll probably get statements from us as well.” Bobbi revealed.“…This just got so fucking real.” Lincoln sighed.“Did we do the right thing?” Daisy asked.“I…I don’t know.” Jemma said nervously. Bobbi tentatively placed a supportive hand on Jemma’s shoulder.“We did. I heard Coulson’s thoughts after we’d told him. He believed every word without question. Almost scarily so. He’s genuine.” Bobbi explained.“Thank god for that.” Leo sighed with relief.“Someone’s getting very good with the mind reading.” Lance smirked at Bobbi.“Please, I’ve always been able to read men.” Bobbi smiled back and Lance chuckled lightly.“Is that so?” Lance folded his arms. “Go on then, what am I thinking right now?”“Do I even need to think about it?” Bobbi grinned.“Okay, when you two have stopped flirting I’d like to go back to Jemma being freakin’ Doctor Who.” Daisy exclaimed.“He’s actually called the Doctor, not Doctor Who. And it’s his ship that travels in time, not the Doctor himself.” Leo pointed out.“He’s quite right.” Jemma added. Leo smiled.“Fine, whatever. So what exactly do you think triggered it?” Daisy asked.“Well, I…I was thinking of what Grant did to me and then my mum touched me and it all overwhelmed me and then…yeah.” Jemma explained timidly.“So maybe when bad shit happens you channel that and it activates your power?” Leo speculated.“That’s a good theory.” Jemma said. “And since I’m interested in science and discovery…I feel that I need to continue experimenting with it.”“Jem, I don’t know about that just yet. Indulging in bad memories doesn’t sound like the best idea right now, take some time. We’ve all been through a lot, but you -” Daisy began.“-I’d prefer to throw myself into it. Even if I cry my eyes out.” Jemma said firmly.“M-Maybe it’s healthier to focus on others first, give yourself some time to process your own stuff.” Leo suggested.“Fitz is right.” Bobbi said. “It could work on others too, the way my powers do. If we focus on all our thoughts maybe you can pick up on them?”“I, uh…it’s worth a try, I suppose.” Jemma agreed.“Well, if you can travel back to or at least glimpse the past and or future, I wanna have a go.” Lincoln said, standing close to Jemma and staring at her intently.“Maybe tone down the angry eyes a tad.” Jemma suggested.“Sorry.”“Right.” Jemma nodded, looking intently at Lincoln for a long while, wiggling her fingers at her sides as she tried to concentrate. “I’m not getting anything.”“Well, you did say it didn’t happen until you were touched, so…?” Leo noted.“Good point.” Jemma said, tentatively reaching out and touching Lincoln’s shoulder.“Can I make an inappropriate foreplay joke?” Lance asked.“No.” Everyone said in unison.After another moment of silence, Jemma huffed. “Still nothing.”“Maybe the memory just wasn’t powerful enough?” Daisy said.“Oi! It was the happiest I’d ever been. Thought it’d be like Peter Pan, happy thoughts and shit.” Lincoln protested.“Well you nailed the ‘shit’ part.” Lance smirked.“I think bad memories have a better chance of working since it was a trauma that activated Jemma’s powers initially.” Bobbi said.“Then try it out on Lance, he’s a miserable bastard.” Lincoln chuckled. Leo chuckled until a glare from Lance silenced him.“You’re a prick, but you’re correct.” Lance shrugged, walking up to Jemma. “Give it a go. I’ll do my best to remain melancholy.”“Alright then.” Jemma nodded and placed a hand on Lance’s shoulder.Silence. Then a flash of light.“NO!” Jemma exclaimed suddenly. In less than a second she’d somehow fallen to the floor, her arms holding her upright. Her eyes were filled with tears, cheeks soaked and reddened.“What the hell?” Leo jumped.“How did you get there?” Daisy asked.“I…it worked.” Jemma whispered. “I went back…I saw…”Jemma stared at Lance as the tears continued to flow. He’d gone pale, tears stinging his eyes too as he looked down at her.“…and then I came back here. Now.” Jemma finished.“Holy shit…that must have been one hell of a memory, Lance.” Lincoln said.“…Yeah. S-Sorry, Jemma.” Lance said quieter than he’d ever said anything and left the room. Everyone watched him go in stunned silence.…Jemma quickly hurried after Lance, leaving everyone else alone with their thoughts. They were all silent for a while.“So…what do you think Jemma saw? She looked broken.” Daisy observed.“So did Lance. Whatever that memory was, he…wow. I didn’t think he had that side to him.” Bobbi said.“We all go through some bad shit that stops us appreciating the good shit.” Lincoln said. “You know what Lance is like; he’ll be back to his annoying self in a bit.”“Pretending like nothing even happened.” Leo added with a brief smile.Bloody hell, I think I actually kinda respect the prick. Bobbi heard Leo’s voice in her head and smiled to herself.The door opened lightly and Coulson walked in. “The police are here and they want statements from all of…where are Jemma and Lance?”…Jemma found Lance sat on the roof, sat on a wooden deckchair he’d put there a week ago but refused to reveal how he’d come to possess it. It didn’t take long for him to notice her there as she approached him.“You found me quick.” Lance sighed.“This is where we all go when we need a minute.” Jemma said.“True.” Lance nodded. “…I’m sorry you had to see that. I tried to think of other memories but it kept coming back to that.”“We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” Jemma revealed.Lance turned around to face her. “I’m always okay. The King of Okay.”“Quite right.” Jemma smiled, placing a hand on Lance’s shoulder. “I’m just…I’m really sorry you went through that.”Lance’s eyes grew sad with memory. “Yeah.”Jemma knelt down by Lance and looked out at the view of the nearby river. “It really is a lovely view. Peaceful.”“It is.”“…I didn’t have many friends at school, you know. Like Leo, but I tried not to make it look obvious. I’d just float around and pretend there were people who cared; no one was interested in the ‘teacher’s pet’. They didn’t see me…they looked right through me. So I made sure to always take notice of everything and everyone so no one felt like I did. I even tried with Leo for the first few weeks we were here. I’d spend my lunch break watching everyone play outside on the playground or just staring out the window at the view like we are now. It’s nice to have friends now. I’d like to think after this is all over and Grant is stopped…we’ll still be friends. All of us.” Jemma revealed.“…I’d like that too. I guess you lot aren’t that bad. Even Fitz.” Lance admitted. “Tell anyone I said that and I’ll have to push you off this roof.”Jemma chuckled. “Your secret’s safe with me; you’re not entirely an arse. So, um…look, this whole power business…it’s confusing and there’s still so much to finesse and understand but…we can try again if you wanted? I changed what happened with my mum, maybe I can go back and -”“-No. Thanks, but no. She…she wouldn’t want me to.” Lance said sadly.…Eventually, Jemma and Lance returned to the group to find Lincoln, Leo and Daisy laughing with each other.“You did not!” Daisy chuckled.“He cheated, fair and square!” Lincoln argued with a grin.“Not much of an excuse to break the bloke’s arm.” Leo laughed.“I disagree.” Lincoln smirked, noticing the others. “Hey…all good?”Lance smiled. “Always. What are you twats laughing about?”“We just got to reminiscing. Lincoln broke a guy’s arm for cheating at a football game, bearing in mind they were eight years old at the time…and Fitz once walked in on his mum and her ‘friend’ -”“-Please stop, it’s embarrassing enough to relive it the first time I told you.” Leo cringed.“Yeah, sorry about that Fitz, but your mother and I love each other. Up for anything, that one.” Lance joked.“Piss off.” Leo sighed as Coulson came back into the room with Bobbi, who’d finished giving her statement.“Jemma, they’d probably like to talk to you next.” Coulson said and Jemma nodded.“Want anyone to come with you?” Daisy asked a nervous Jemma.Jemma shook her head. “I’ll be okay. I’m the Queen of Okay.”She looked at Lance and smiled before heading out with Coulson.“I agree, Fitz.” Bobbi smirked as they watched Jemma go. “She is a hell of a woman.”Leo went bright red. “Don’t do that!”“Can’t help it.” Bobbi shrugged with a laugh.“I think we’re all pretty brilliant, if you ask me.” Daisy stated. “Think about what we’ve been put through since that frickin’ storm.”“And it’s not over yet, baby doll.” Lance groaned. “Right you lot, let’s go to the vending machine before they call me in.”“You actually brought money this time? You know they fixed the machine; shaking it won’t work anymore.” Lincoln said.“I know they did, the bastards. But we haven’t tried five people shaking it, have we? Come on.” Lance grinned and hurried out. Everyone rolled their eyes and hurried off after him anyway.…Jemma heard laughter in the distance as she headed down the corridor with Coulson; turning back, she saw the others all hurrying down the corridor in pursuit of Lance. Her heart lifted. It had been a hell of a day and was not going to get easier, but she knew in time she’d be okay. Especially when she could just turn around and see her friends getting by and being okay too.Maybe they could just be okay together. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “You come here often, then?”Lance looked to his right to see a pretty young woman leaning against the bar smiling at him. He’d gotten pretty good at tuning his hearing when it came to trying to hear what people were saying in clubs through the booming music over time. It was rare he wouldn’t spend a few hours in a bar or club a few times a week. Alcohol was the main thing getting him through everything that had happened since the storm. Not that he had any powers to deal with like the others, though, a fact that still drove him crazy.“Practically live here.” Lance grinned as he took another sip of beer.“Do you, uh…do you wanna buy me a drink?” The young woman smiled.“Not really.” Lance shrugged. “More money to spend on myself that way.”He didn’t feel like he deserved a slap, but he got one anyway and shrugged it off, finishing his pint as the young woman strutted off calling him all sorts of names. She seemed nice enough, and if it had been a few weeks ago he’d have bought her that drink, but after everything that had happened he’d come to realise what really mattered in life. Himself.Well, he supposed his friends and family too, but one must look after oneself.He didn’t really believe that, of course. He only really acted vain and self-absorbed to keep people from getting emotionally attached to him or him to them. It was better for everyone that way. He never saw the point in wanting to be remembered when you were gone; you wouldn’t be around to see your legacy no matter who you were. Lance felt wanting to be remembered was selfish in a way; wanting the people you love to suffer over your absence.The more he thought about it, the more he figured he was just a cynical bastard who got too deep when he was drunk. Deep down he knew the truth; he tried to convince himself legacies meant nothing because he’s terrified he won’t have one when his life is done. With Grant on the loose and almost certainly coming back for him and his friends, he might not have much time to forge one. He hadn’t really done anything in his life; nothing he thought counted, anyway. He still didn’t even have any bloody powers he could use to make a difference in the world.Why only him? He was the only one who didn’t know what he could do out of the group! Just his bloody luck that he has the power for greatness locked away inside yet no idea how to access it. Maybe he’d drowned his powers out of his body with alcohol. If so, the damage had already been done.He ordered another beer.…“Good morning, my fellow delinquents.” Lance smiled as he walked into the locker room rubbing his eyes.“It’s nearly 1pm. We’re on our lunch break.” Daisy said.“Is it?” Lance checked his watch. “Shit.”“How did you not realise? Just look at the position of the sun!” Jemma exclaimed.“I was always told to not like at the sun, Jemma. Shame on you.” Lance smirked. “I take it you covered for me?”“We didn’t need to.” Lincoln explained. “Coulson and Melinda have been distracted with the police and their hunt for Grant. Unfortunately they’re all convinced that he won’t risk coming back here, but they don’t know how the storm affected him like we do.”“If I’m honest, we’ve barely done any work today. I think Coulson feels bad for us.” Bobbi said.“Well, we’ve all been through a traumatic time! He should feel bad. I’ve had to spend all my money in the pub just to get by in these past few weeks!” Lance stated.“I think Jemma had it a bit worse.” Leo said. Jemma offered him an appreciative smile.“It’s all subjective.” Lance shrugged. “And at least you lot have got powers to defend yourself with! I still don’t have a fucking clue.”“Oh, really? Because you don’t mention that twenty times a day…” Daisy said.“And we barely know how to control our abilities.” Leo added.“Reading thoughts is hardly helpful against a beefy rage monster, is it?” Bobbi questioned.“Well, Daisy and Lincoln have gotten pretty good, right?” Lance asked.Lincoln shrugged. “Practice makes perfect. We’re working on a combo move.”“Working title: Static Quake.” Daisy grinned, leaning across the room and giving Lincoln a high five.“Well, why Blue and Yellow Ranger do their thing, let’s harness the powers we know about! We’ve gotta get prepared for Grant coming back with a vengeance!” Lance suggested.“Excuse me, Blue Ranger? I’d be Red, surely?” Lincoln argued.“No, no, I’m Red.” Lance nodded.“You don’t even have a power yet.” Leo said. “What if your power is, I dunno, making top tier pottery? Hardly a Red Ranger sort of skill set, is it?”“Oh, so you wanna be the Red Ranger too, huh?” Lance folded his arms.“No; maybe Green or Black. Mysterious.” Leo grinned excitedly.“Please don’t write FanFiction with us as the Power Rangers.” Bobbi glared at Leo, whose grin faded.“Bloody mind reading powers…”“Can we stop talking about the Power Rangers? I’ve never even seen any episodes!” Daisy wondered.Lance, Leo and Lincoln all stopped and stared at her. “WHAT?!”“Sue me.” Daisy shrugged.“I think I’ll have to. You’d get less for murder.” Lance said.“And it’s not just one set of Power Rangers; there are separate series about different teams with different themes and skills.” Lincoln said. “Crap, Fitz is rubbing off on me.”“Nerd.” Leo smiled.“It’s okay Lincoln, come out of the nerd closet. We’ll all still love you.” Bobbi chuckled.“I must admit, I never expected you to have that side to you.” Jemma noted.“You don’t know everything about me. I still don’t know why most of you got community service! Daisy and I fessed up, I think everyone else should too.” Lincoln said.“All of the yes to that idea.” Daisy laughed.“But lunch break’s over; we should report back.” Bobbi said.“They’ll come and get us when they want us. Who’s up first?” Lincoln posed.Silence.“We might as well just spill the beans since I’ve just heard what Lance did anyway.” Bobbi smiled smugly, looking at Lance. “I’m learning to love my power, you know.”“I bloody bet.” Lance groaned.“Go on, Fitz. Kick off the proceedings.” Daisy prompted. “I’m desperate to know how you of all people ended up here. What did you do wrong?”“Well, uh…n-nothing.” Leo shrugged.“What an interesting story.” Lance said.“…Fine, okay, uh…well, for a time I had a friend at school called Mack. We got along well and everything but grew apart and I got used to not having any friends. Out of the blue I got a text from him asking to meet for a drink. I got excited and dressed up and headed to the bar he’d mentioned in the message and, uh…well, he’d sent the text to me by mistake but let me stay anyway. I didn’t really say much but…well, the night carried on and Mack and his mates drank way too much and this guy Jasper started making fun of me and…and he brought up my dad and I saw red…and I punched him. A lot. And here I am.” Leo explained ashamedly.“I thought it may have been something like that when you decked me a while back.” Lincoln winced in memory.“I say fair play to you. I’d have thumped the prick too.” Lance stated. A small smile trickled across Leo’s face.“Well I, to my shame, drunkenly pushed a shopkeeper into the wine aisle of her store. Smashed bottles everywhere. That bitch claimed I left her with permanent back pain but SHE started it! She gave me a judgmental look. Plus her daughter was such a hateful cow at school. That family is disgusting.” Bobbi explained.“You’re right; that is shameful.” Lance chuckled.“Says the guy who stole a car.” Bobbi smirked. Everyone turned to Lance and laughed.“You stole a car?!” Leo exclaimed.“And crashed it into a tree.” Bobbi added happily.“Fuck you.” Lance fired at Bobbi teasingly.“How did that even happen?” Daisy asked.“Drinking at a club, met a girl, went back to hers, we…you know…dad came home and walked in on us, “get off my precious daughter you handsome devil” or words to that effect, I panicked and rushed out of the house desperate to get away, broke into his car, got it started and fled. Don’t drink and drive kids…as the tree found out. That fucker came out of nowhere.” Lance revealed.“That’s hilarious.” Lincoln grinned.“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Lance groaned.“So, did we save the best for last, Jemma?” Daisy wondered.Jemma sighed and shook her head. “I’m afraid not.”“Go on, reveal all. How did the girl who hates breaking the rules of bloody community service end up doing it in the first place?” Lance asked.“…Well, my friend from school was always getting into trouble. I tried to steer her onto a better path but to no avail; she got in trouble with the police so many times. She had a row with some other girl – I don’t know the exact details – and she went to her house and smashed up some windows, keyed the car door, the lot. But she’d already had such a significant criminal record she’d have been in a lot more trouble than most, so…so I took the blame.” Jemma said.“…Wow.” Bobbi said.“That was ridiculously nice of you.” Leo commented.“Just setting an example, helping her see the error of her ways, I guess.” Jemma shrugged modestly.Bobbi smiled and Jemma and turned to Lance, who had grown quiet and shut off in how he was sat. He stared at the floor in silence. She tried to read his thoughts but there seemed to be even more of a barrier up than usual, especially when it came to him.…Later that day, Bobbi walked up onto the roof of the building and saw Lance sitting over the edge watching the others picking up rubbish in the courtyard. The sky was filling with dark clouds as if a storm was coming. Bobbi walked closer and smiled at Lance as she sat down next to him. “I noticed you slip away a little while ago; the others seemed to not notice, they must really love picking up litter.”“Anything that keeps their mind off of Grant, I suppose.” Lance speculated. There was a solemnness in his voice that broke Bobbi’s heart. This wasn’t the Lance she knew.“You okay? I noticed you go quiet after Jemma told us her story earlier.” Bobbi said.“I’m fine.” Lance said. Bobbi didn’t need to use her powers to know he was lying. After a few moments he smiled softly and looked at her. “I suppose there isn’t much point in lying to you, is there?”“Not really, no.” Bobbi grinned. “I’m determined to solve the mystery that is Lance Hunter.”“If you ever do, let me know. I don’t have a clue myself.” Lance sighed.Silence.“…Do you think there’s a chance Grant really is just gone? Or maybe the police will just catch him and that’ll be that?” Bobbi asked, looking down at the rest of the group chuckling together as they worked.“Nah, he’ll come back for us. I think the storm took away any humanity in him, just left him a monster. Monsters always come back to haunt you.” Lance said.Bobbi playfully nudged him. “That was quite poignant for you.”“I have my moments.” Lance smiled slightly and Bobbi laughed. “…I, uh…my aunt died not too long ago. That’s what Jemma saw when she went back in time. She saw me finding her body in the bathroom. She lived with us. She raised me more than my mum and dad ever did.”“…I’m so sorry.” Bobbi whispered sadly.“…Undiagnosed heart condition of some kind. One moment she was there and then…that’s it. Gone. She could read me like a book, that woman. A bit like you, I guess.” Bobbi smiled. “She squeezed the most out of every day and yet life still ended too soon for her. She’d gone for a shower but it’d been over an hour without hearing anything so I kicked down the door and…she was just lying on the floor. I knew the second I saw her. I don’t know if she felt pain. I…I don’t know if she was scared. I don’t know if it was quick. But I know she was alone, and that’s what kills me. Jemma offered to try and go back again and save her, call an ambulance in time or something, but I knew she wouldn’t want that. She wouldn’t want me to see her like that, to see the happiest thing in my life snuffed out. When Jemma was talking about covering for her mate…she used to cover for my mum’s antics all the time. It just reminded me of her. And every time I think of her I can only picture her lying on that floor, all alone, and not knowing if she was afraid.”Bobbi wiped the tears off her face and held Lance’s hand.Silence for a while. “…I never thought I’d ever tell anyone all that.”Bobbi smiled. “But you did.”“I did.” Lance nodded. “I’ve never met anyone I felt like I could really talk to until you. All of you.” He looked at the rest of the group as they finished clearing up the litter and joked around together. “I don’t know when Grant’s gonna come for us, but I know I’ll try and stop him with all I can muster. I’ll protect that lot until my dying breath.”Bobbi let another tear fall. “Me too.”“And if it does cost my life, then that’s okay…it means I can see Aunt Clara again.”Bobbi looked at Lance and smiled. “…I know you don’t have your powers yet, but I think you’re just as super as the rest of us.”“I always thought that having powers would finally make me somebody special.”“You already are. And maybe you can’t save her life, but maybe you should try and change something. Just something to help the both of you.”Lance’s eyes stung with tears. “Like what?”“…Maybe she had to die, Lance, but she doesn’t have to die alone.”…Lance asked Jemma to stay after everyone else had been sent home, and told her what he wanted her to do. She agreed to try her best, holding out her hand. Lance took it and closed his eyes, letting himself feel all the pain and rage for the first time since that horrible day.In a flash of light, he was back there, in that bathroom. Tears fell as he saw Clara lying on the bathroom floor, lying away from him. He stood there frozen until Jemma grabbed his hand, having been stood at his side.“Go to her. Help her.”Lance looked at Jemma and said nothing as he rushed towards his aunt and knelt down next to her, tears streaming down his face.“…L-Lance?”“I’m here. I’m here. It’s okay. You’re…y-you’re not alone.” Lance whispered, stroking Clara’s hair.Clara smiled softly. “…Lance…”“I love you, Aunt Clara.” Lance cried.“I love you.” Clara whispered, holding Lance’s hands with her own. She looked up at him, the smile still on her face as if the pain had been wiped away.And then she was gone.Lance kissed the top of Clara’s head and held her one last time. “Goodbye. Goodbye.”It had been quick. She wasn’t in pain. She wasn’t alone.She wasn’t alone.Lance looked back and saw Jemma stood there, tears in her eyes but a smile on her face.The darkest day Lance had ever known, but Clara hadn’t been alone.And neither was he.…Bobbi answered her door late that night and saw Lance stood there, his face still fresh from recently dried tears.“…How did it go?” She asked.Lance said nothing as he stepped inside, pulled Bobbi close and caressed her lips with his. There was pain and sorrow behind it, but there was also fire.Their lips parted, and he remained silent as he turned away and walked out back into the street and out of view.Bobbi watched him go with no air in her lungs but a sweet smile on her face.…Grant kicked down the back door of the community centre and made his way inside, deep into the heart of the building. His eyes blood red, his fingers claws, bones protruding from his skin, his rage beyond belief.When they came tomorrow, he would be waiting. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Morning, dickheads.” Lance smirked as he walked into the locker room and got changed into his jumpsuit. He smiled briefly at Bobbi. “Hi.”“Hi.” She echoed quietly, with a small smile.“You seem in a good mood.” Lincoln noted.“As it happens, I am. I feel free as a bird; no weight on my shoulders. Nothing’s gonna bring me down.” Lance smiled.It was then that Melinda came crashing through the window and onto the floor, cut and bruised all over.“Holy shit!” Daisy yelped. Bobbi rushed to Melinda’s aid and helped her up.“You kids need to run. Just run.” Melinda ordered.“But what the hell was that about? You flew through a fucking window!” Lance exclaimed.“We need to get out.” Melinda whispered, a fear in her eyes none of them had seen before. She could hardly stand and winced with every moment, no matter how small.“But what-?”Jemma’s question was cut up by a large mass filling the space where the window had been. Everyone froze at the sight. Grant Ward stood before them, they knew that much, but his body had been as warped as his mind; his flesh was cracked and raw, bones sticking out of his back, his hands enlarged and with razor sharp claws. His eyes were as red as freshly spilled blood. He was hardly human anymore. It was a monster.It screamed and the room shook, dust raining down from the ceiling.“RUN!” Lincoln shouted as he shot a bright white beam of electricity at Grant, sending the beast stumbling back. Daisy sent a shockwave towards it and it flew across the corridor and smashed open the wall on the opposite side.Everyone ran. They kicked open the door and flooded out.“Split up!” Leo suggested as the group dispersed. Lincoln scooped a now unconscious Melinda up in his arms and rushed out with Bobbi right behind him. Jemma rushed towards the computer room, hoping to hide under one of the desks. She was too scared to look back and see where everyone else had gone.Grant – or at least the monster that he now was – roared once again. It got back to its feet and truly began its hunt.…Bobbi leaped into a storage cupboard after Lincoln, who placed Melinda gently down onto the floor. He grabbed the door handle and sent a jolt of electricity through it until it glowed red hot and started to melt slightly.“I didn’t know you could do that.” Bobbi whispered.“Neither did I.” Lincoln shrugged. “Fucking glad I can.”“Is she alright?” Bobbi asked, leaning down to check on Melinda.“Still passed out. From the shock or the pain, I don’t know.” Lincoln replied, dragging boxes in front of the door to block it.“Maybe we shouldn’t have hid somewhere with no other exit.” Bobbi sighed.“Fuck. Good point. But too late.” Lincoln said. “Can you do your power thing? Try and read it’s thoughts and see if it’s close by?”“I’ll try, hang on.” Bobbi nodded, walking up to the door and closing her eyes. After a few moments she jumped back with a gasp.“Did you get anything?”Bobbi looked shaken. “It was just saying ‘kill’. Over and over. I don’t think there’s anything rational or human left of him.”“…He seemed kind of a dick before the storm, but…that could have been one of us, you know. None of this is even his fault.” Lincoln sighed.“I know, but we have to find a way of stopping him regardless. It’s him or us. He’s already killed Raina. We lost your friend James too. We’re not losing anyone else.” Bobbi stated.Lincoln looked pained; clearly hearing James’ name still brought about a hurt inside him he never had the time to process. “Right. So what do we do? We should call someone.”“We left all our phones in our lockers once we put these fucking things on.” Bobbi sighed, pulling the sleeve of her jumpsuit. “Maybe we should have stuck together, worked it out as a team.”“They’re gonna be fine. I know they are. Think of all we’ve been through in such a short space of time. We’re strong; all of us. We’ll find a way.” Lincoln said, but Bobbi could hear the thoughts running through his head. He was just as scared and unsure as she was.…Jemma swore quietly as she realised she’d left her phone in her locker. She was tucked away under one of the desks in the computer room, right in the corner as tightly as she could fit herself. She was petrified.This was it. This was how she was going to die. She’d never see her family again. She’d never have a lazy day in bed again. She’d never see the Great Wall of China. She’d never hug someone again. She’d never know what it was like to be in love. She’d never kiss a boy and actually have meaning behind it. She’d never grow old.The room grew dimmer and she felt tears stinging her eyes. She knew it must be Grant blocking the door to the room and stopping any light from getting in. She tried and tried to go back in time and find a new place to hide, but she still hadn’t really mastered it yet. Now she never would.The door made a crash as Grant kicked it off its hinges and sent it flying across the room. Jemma held her breath; maybe she could just suffocate before it got to her and caused her any pain.She felt herself shaking all over as the creature that was Grant Ward stalked around the room, talon-like claws where toes used to be cutting through the expensive shoes Grant had liked to wear. She could feel every step it took like a blow to the head.Silence.Jemma opened her eyes and screamed as she was met with the ferocious glare of the creature leaning under the desk. It grabbed her leg and dragged her across the room. It felt like her skin was burning to the touch of his grasp. She kicked and screamed but the monster was too strong. It threw her against the wall, her tears only ceasing because the air had been knocked out of her.The beast tore a leg off one of the desks and wielded it like a bat as it slowly approached Jemma and raised it high into the air. It stood above her and looked down at her, slimy residue dripping from its mouth onto her shoulder.Jemma closed her eyes and apologised to her mum and dad for the pain they’d have to endure over her loss. She hoped her friends were still okay, and that she was the only one who was going to die today.A high-pitched shriek coming from the creature made her open her eyes; they widened at the sight of every computer, one by one, floating up into the air and soaring towards the monster, knocking it to the floor with every hit.She stood up and moved to the other side of the room as the final computer lifted into the air. Jemma couldn’t help but smile.The creature didn’t. It screamed as it jumped across the room to the floating computer and swung at it with its muscular arm. The computer fell to floor with a thump as Jemma felt the impact of something hitting the wall next to her. Before she knew it, Leo faded into view, blood dripping from his nose as he stood up and turned to her.“You alright?”“You’re hurt.” Jemma said, reaching out to touch his face.For a moment, they’d forgotten where they were. They ducked as the creature began picking up desks and throwing them towards them. They took hands as they headed for the door; just as Jemma got out she felt Leo’s hand let go of hers with force. She turned back to see the monster holding Leo up in one arm and clenching a splintered piece of wood in the other.“LEO!” Jemma screamed as the monster plunged the spear of wood through Leo’s heart. “NO!”A flash a white light surrounded her as a dizziness came over her. The next thing she knew she was back in the room, running for the door with Leo’s hand in hers as they dodged the desks the monster was throwing. She smiled. A second chance.She turned and saw the monster jump across the room ready to grab Leo and take him away from her. Instinct made her grab the fire extinguisher mounted on the wall and throw it at the creature; it roared as it fell back to the floor and crashed into the wall.They ran out the room and down the corridor, their hands still entwined.“That was bloody quick thinking.” Leo commented, somehow enjoying the thrill of their life-or-death situation.Jemma stopped, looked at Leo and threw her arms around him. Bewildered, he put his arms around her before a scream from the creature threw them apart and sent them running down the corridor again.The creature watched Leo and Jemma run and started sprinting towards them until a nearby voice halted it. It turned around to see Lance stood at the other end of the corridor.“Come and get me, you ugly prick.” Lance grinned and ran off.The creature, blinded by its rage, followed its prey with intent.…Lance ran down the corridor towards the entrance where Daisy was waiting to put their plan into action. They could have just got out of the building there and then, but they knew they had to try and save their friends.They’d managed to get to the kitchen to hide when they first split off from the others, deciding to arm themselves with old knives as weapons. Soon enough, they came up with a plan; take apart the kitchen doorframe, use the knives to sharpen the pieces into spears, lure Grant towards them and then when he least expected it, they’d plunge the spears straight through him like the world’s ugliest kebab. Problem solved.Lance rushed around a corner where Daisy was positioned against the wall, giving him one of the spears as they braced themselves for Grant to turn the corner. They could hear the pounding of footsteps approaching them. Daisy looked at Lance and nodded; he nodded back. This was it.The footsteps grew muffled and then silent. Lance could hear his heart pounding.“Where the fu-?” Daisy began.The wall next to them burst open as the creature tackled them both to the floor. Daisy sent shockwaves at it, but the creature endured through them, picking Daisy up and slamming her into the lockers on the other side of the corridor. She fell to the floor, unconscious.Lance froze as he looked up at the creature, unable to comprehend that only a few weeks ago it was just a normal man. An absolute prick, but a man.“I’m sorry.” Lance whispered as he stared into Grant’s red eyes. “I’m sorry this is what it did to you.”As he saw what Grant had become, he was glad he didn’t have any powers. He watched as the monster picked up one of the spears and raised it into the air. Lance took a deep breath, savouring every moment of it, for he knew it would be his last.As the creature threw it’s arm down, one of the locker doors flew open and Coulson rushed out, holding his arm out in the spear’s path.“Coulson, NO!” Lance screamed. The sharp end of the spear collided with Coulson’s arm.And broke in shreds.Lance’s jaw hit the floor as Coulson punched the monster and sent it flying to the floor. Another shockwave from Daisy, who had regained consciousness, seemed to knock it out.“Are you okay?” Coulson asked, pulling Lance to his feet. “Heard the commotion and thought I’d better hide. Worked out kinda well, huh?”“What the fuck?!” Lance exclaimed. “You…you’re…? What?”“Why do you think I was so quick to believe the storm had changed Grant? It…it changed me too. Didn’t realise it until I got hit by the car, remember? Broke my arm, had it put in a sling and when I woke up the next day, it had healed completely. I only kept the sling on to avoid suspicion. My skin…it’s impenetrable now. And I can heal quickly. It’s…it’s mad. And I see you have powers too.” Coulson explained, turning to Daisy.“Coulson, you’re a badass.” Daisy smiled. “And yeah, we all have powers.”“Except me, of course.” Lance groaned.“Well, at least that doesn’t make me feel quite so…odd. Explains a hell of a lot about all of you. I thought you were all just weird.” Coulson said.“Oh, we are. Totally. But we have powers too.” Daisy smirked.Coulson looked at the unconscious monster on the floor. “This is a really weird day. Where are the others, are they alright? And Melinda?”“We split up when Grant attacked us. We don’t know where they are.” Lance explained.“We need to find them, but stay together.” Coulson stated. “I’m sorry you’ve been dragged into all of this.”“Our own actions brought us all there the day of the storm, there’s nothing to apologise for.” Daisy said. “Maybe it was, like, destiny.”“Give me a break. We were fucking unlucky, that’s all there is to it.” Lance sighed.…Leo kicked the door open as he and Jemma ran out the fire exit into the fresh, open air.“We can’t just leave them all in there!” Jemma argued.“Lance distracted Grant so we could escape; we just did what he wanted us to do. We’re not gonna leave them. Besides, now we can call the police.” Leo said, holding up the phone he held in one hand, having grabbed his phone from his locker on the way out.“Okay, okay…” Jemma gasped, tired out from so much running. “I, uh…I never thanked you before. For saving my life. Again. You’re making a habit of that, not that I’m complaining.”“Well, I, uh…you saved mine back with the whole fire extinguisher thing, so…” Leo mumbled modestly.“Only because I’d gone back in time and seen it kill you.” Jemma admitted.Leo’s face went white. “Oh…wow. And that was enough to activate your power?”“Well, you’re stood here talking to me, so I’d be inclined to say yes.” Jemma nodded.“Oh. Uh, cool.”“Using your powers or not, you’ll never be invisible to me.” Jemma smiled. Leo smiled back, red-faced.The fire exit burst open again and relief filled Leo and Jemma as Daisy, Lance and Coulson poured out and joined them. Daisy ran into Jemma’s arms while Lance gave Leo a pat on the back.“Coulson’s got powers too. Impenetrable skin.” Daisy explained.“Explains the balding, I guess; the hair can’t get through your scalp.” Lance said.“That was happening before the storm.” Coulson sighed.“I know, I’m just an arsehole.” Lance smirked.“An arsehole without any powers.” Leo grinned as Lance gave him the finger. “Where are the others?”“We looked around but couldn’t find them. Probably hid away somewhere.” Coulson revealed. “Has anyone called for help?”“On it now.” Leo said, dialling his phone and holding it up to his ear. “Hello, we need the poli-”An almighty crash blocked out Leo’s words as the monster that was once Grant Ward blew open the wall with a piercing screech. It collided with the pavement, sending Daisy and Jemma flying across the courtyard and crashing into some benches, where they remained unconscious. With its clawed hands, it grabbed Lance and Leo by their shirts and leaped onto the roof of the building.“GRANT, STOP!” Coulson shouted, but his words were useless.The creature threw the boys across the roof and leaped after them, cutting down Leo’s arm with a sharp nail and slamming Lance onto the gravelly surface.“It’s over Grant, just stop. People are coming for you.” Lance said, looking down to see Coulson on the phone, managing to call the police using the phone Leo had dropped. “There’s no point in running. You can’t blame us for what happened to you, but we know it wasn’t your fault either. Even if you were a bit of a dick before all of that.”“Wouldn’t have said that last bit, myself.” Leo whispered.“And maybe we’re not the most likable bunch of people, either, but that’s the point! We’re young! We’re supposed to drink too much. We’re supposed to have bad attitudes and shag each other’s brains out. We are designed to party. This is it. Yeah, so a few of us will overdose or go mental. But Charles Darwin said you can’t make an omelette without breaking a few eggs. And that’s what it’s all about, breaking eggs! And by eggs, I mean sex, drugs, and rock and roll. We’re screw-ups, Grant, that’s why we’re all here. I’m a screw-up and I plan to be a screw-up until my late 20s, maybe even my early 30s. And maybe you didn’t deserve to be lumbered with us lot, and you certainly didn’t deserve this…but surely the fact that you’re listening to me rather than cutting my head off or whatever you were planning on doing shows that there’s still some of you in there? It isn’t too late. The storm changed you, but you don’t have to let it. Hell, I didn’t. Mainly because it didn’t give me any bloody powers. But you get what I mean. Just say no. Be human like the rest of us. Tell that storm to fuck off. What do you say?” Lance asked.“That was a really good speech.” Leo whispered.“Thanks, Fitz.” Lance nodded, still staring into the monster’s red eyes.The monster opened its mouth as if to speak…and let out a loud roar in Lance’s face.“We were too late to save you, and I’m sorry about that. I really am. We’ve been through a lot of shit these past few weeks, but I think you’ve suffered most of all. You’re beyond humanity, aren’t you mate? I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. But it’ll be over soon.” Lance said, running up to Grant and kicking him off the edge of the roof, where a spiked metal fence that surrounded the building waited below.Grant wailed as it fell. Lance turned to Leo with a victorious grin, only stopping when he felt a small tug. He looked down at his arm and saw his shirt was caught on one of the bones protruding Grant’s back. His eyes widened as Leo ran for him, screaming his name.Knowing Leo wouldn’t reach him in time, he just smiled. He thought of Leo’s smile when he’d first called him his friend. He thought of his aunt’s smile as she realised she wasn’t dying alone. He thought of Bobbi’s smile when he’d first seen her that morning. He fell and closed his eyes.Leo screamed while Coulson stood frozen in shock as Grant and Lance fell onto the fence, metal bars piercing through their chests. They both went still.Lincoln and Bobbi dragged Melinda outside some time later after hearing nothing for a while. They fell to their knees as they saw everyone sat in silence as two body bags were loaded into a van, police everywhere. They couldn’t see Grant anywhere, and they couldn’t see Lance either.It started to rain.…By the time the police had gotten to the scene, Grant had looked like Grant again, his shredded clothes the only signs of what the storm had slowly transformed him into. After taking statements from everyone, they’d concluded that he’d murdered Lance and then himself.Lance’s funeral was a quiet affair; not many people came. If the group, Coulson and Melinda hadn’t attended, only five or six people would have come. No one was even sure what Lance’s parents looked like so didn’t know if they were even there or not.They all stood in silence at his grave for quite some time. When they decided to have a drink in his name at the pub, Bobbi told them she’d catch them up. They left her alone while she cried some more before eventually joining the others.“To Lance.” Lincoln said solemnly as everyone raised their glass and sipped their drinks.Leo gently nudged Bobbi, and she looked at him. I’m sorry I wasn’t fast enough to save him.Bobbi placed her hand over Leo’s and shook her head, telling him it wasn’t his fault.“I know in the grand scheme of things it hasn’t been that long…” Daisy sniffed through another wave of tears. “…but I love you guys.”“Lance did too.” Bobbi whispered. When she’d heard him think it the week before she’d kept quiet to avoid embarrassing him. Now she wish she hadn’t, because then he’d have known how loved he was too.…Lance woke with a start, breathing heavily.“What the fuck?” He whispered. All he could see around him was wood. Was he still hiding from Grant? He must still be in a cupboard.No, that can’t be right. Daisy was with him. And he remembered being outside. Grant had taken him and Leo up to the roof. Yeah, that’s right. And he’d given a kickass speech, too. And then…Oh. And then he died.“Oh my god…I’m immortal.” Lance whispered as a grin grew across his face. “I HAVE POWERS! I HAVE POWERS! I’M IMMORTAL!”Then he started to get an idea of what the wood surrounding him was. He felt around and found he was lying on a soft, silky material. He bent his head down and saw he was dressed in a suit.“I’m in a coffin.” Lance whispered. “I’m in a fucking coffin!”He started banging anywhere and everywhere, kicking and screaming. “HELLO? HELLO? I’M ALIVE! I can’t bloody believe this! You FUCKERS! LET ME OUT! Just my bloody luck. And I don’t even own a suit, whose was this? Did they bury me in some other fucker’s used suit?”Lance groaned and punched the side of the coffin again. “I’m all for having a nice nap, but this is taking the piss!”He kicked and screamed some more. Why had he grown so fond of those fellow misfits? Did they even check he was dead properly? What a bunch of pricks.“YOU BURIED ME ALIVE, YOU DICKS!” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Welcome back, everyone. I know we’ve all been through…well, a bit of a hard time, but things can start getting back to normal now. Well, as normal as they can be. Even so, in three weeks you’ll all be free to live the rest of your lives again.” Coulson explained warmly.After everything with Grant and Lance, the group had been given a few days off their community service to process all that had happened. Now, they were ready to finish their last three weeks of service and enjoy their freedom.“I understand everything’s still raw, it is for me too, but…we need to be bigger than what we suffer. For Lance’s sake. We’ll just start with some litter picking in the town centre this morning; I’ll come and collect you in a few minutes.” Coulson smiled timidly before walking out of the locker room, where the group had been listening in silence.“…I, uh…I…I don’t know where I was going with that sentence.” Lincoln said eventually to fill the quietness.“I know…I said more in the womb than I’ve said in the last few days.” Daisy said.“It’s just…it’s gonna take time.” Jemma offered.“Let’s just get on with it. It’s all we can do.” Bobbi shrugged, standing up and heading for the door. “I’m gonna wait outside.”Everyone watched solemnly as Bobbi walked out of the locker room.“This has all hit her pretty hard.” Jemma observed. “I know she’s the one who can read minds but we don’t even need that ability to know what’s going on with her.”“Were her and Lance, you know…a thing?” Daisy asked.“I’m not sure.” Lincoln said. “He never mentioned anything to me, and I feel like if something had happened he’d have let us all know about it.”“At least fifty times.” Leo added and everyone smiled, even if the smiles were sad ones.“She shouldn’t be alone. Let’s go wait outside with her.” Daisy suggested and everyone nodded in agreement as they headed out. Upon opening the front doors, Bobbi was nowhere to be found.“Well…should’ve seen that coming.” Lincoln sighed.…After Coulson dropped the group in the centre of town (and promised to cover for Bobbi’s absence should it prove necessary to do so), they were left to start collecting litter from the local streets and alleys.“Fuck me, this is rank.” Lincoln gagged as he filled bag after bag of rubbish. “Do people not see the bins literally ten seconds down the road?”“Of course they do, but they don’t want to go out of their way and put in a little bit of effort.” Jemma sighed.“…This sucks, but it could be worse.” Leo commented. “…Do you think we should try and contact Bobbi again?”“I think she just needs time. Besides, Coulson always confiscates our phones when we go out in the community anyway.” Daisy replied. “I think it’s another girl you should be worried about, Leo. That chick over there’s been staring at you for ages.”A confused Leo turned around and made out a young woman leaning against the wall of a newsagent smiling in his direction. His face went white as a sheet.“Oh, bloody hell. Someone do something. Lincoln, fry her.” Leo groaned.“Who is it?” Lincoln asked, failing to hide his amusement.“Blast from the past.” Leo answered.“I thought you said you didn’t have friends back in the day?” Lincoln said.“I didn’t. She was one of the few people in school who’d talk to me but…she got…weird. Like, stalker levels of obsessed. She baked cookies in the shape of my face and left them outside my door once.” Leo explained.“How did they taste?” Daisy asked.“Is that the relevant question to ask?” Jemma proposed.“I only got rid of her when we downsized to a cheaper place where she couldn’t find me. And they were delicious, actually.” Leo shrugged. “Bloody hell, here she comes. Daisy, blast her.”“Leo! I can’t believe it’s you!” The girl said excitedly as she ran up to Leo and the others.“Oh…hi, Aida. Long time no see.” Leo winced.“LOVE the orange jumpsuits! Are you all in a band or something?” Aida asked.“Why would a band wear…? I’m uh, it’s a long story but I’m actually very busy so…” Leo began.“I was debating even coming over to see you since it had been so long but I threw caution to the wind and ran with my emotions! You’re looking very well! Doesn’t he have the loveliest eyes?” Aida chuckled.“Oh, the prettiest.” Jemma laughed in a cutesy tone Leo didn’t appreciate.“Right?! I’ve only been working at the newsagent over there for two weeks and now I run into you after so long! I saw you through the window and I just had to see if it was you. It was never the same after you moved away – and DIDN’T TELL ME WHERE YOU WERE MOVING TO, you silly thing!” Aida explained heartily.“How could it have slipped his mind to tell you?” Daisy grinned as Leo glared at her.“Well, here we are – reunited at last! Are you still living locally?” Aida wondered.“Oh, well…” Leo mumbled.“We’re all working at the community centre on the edge of the city, actually.” Lincoln smirked. Leo stared at him disapprovingly.“Oh, I know where that is! Maybe I could come and see you after my shift? Have a nice catch up? Or I could just tell my boss I’m not feeling well. Maybe I could quit and just work with all of you? I’ll quit, be right back.” Aida rambled, turning to rush off.“AIDA, WAIT!” Leo shouted. “I, um…I’m actually very busy with my friends right now and, well…this just isn’t a good time. I’ve got a lot going on right now, really important stuff to deal with. I, uh…I think you should just go back and do your work while I do mine and we’ll leave it at that. You know, moving forwards…that kind of thing. Yeah?”Aida was silent for a while. “…Okay. Of course. I…I have really important stuff to deal with too.”Aida stared at Jemma, Daisy and Lincoln in turn. “Good day, Leopold.”With that, she turned and walked slowly away back towards the newsagent. Leo breathed a sigh of relief. “Well that was easier than I expected.”“She was gonna quit her job to spend more time with you, that’s hilarious.” Lincoln chuckled.“She was a bloody nightmare, I tell you! I spent the best part of year nervous to turn any corner in case she was there with her cookies and dolls.” Leo sighed.“Dolls?” Jemma questioned.“She made dolls. Of me. Normal people might have teddy bears on the end of their beds. She had dolls of me.” Leo explained.“How was the likeness?” Lincoln asked.“Did she perfectly capture your lovely eyes?” Daisy grinned.“You two really enjoy taking the piss, don’t you?” Leo moaned.“Yep.” Lincoln and Daisy nodded at the same time.“Stalkers aside, let’s just clean this place up so we can get our phones back and check on Bobbi. The sooner we do this the sooner we- who the hell is that?” Jemma asked, stepping back in shock as she pointed towards the roof of a nearby apartment building.Leo, Lincoln and Daisy followed Jemma’s line of sight and froze. A figure stood at the top of the building, staring down at them.“Hey, you!” Daisy exclaimed.The figure jumped, landing gracefully onto a ledge below before leaping again. They practically flew through the air before bouncing off the walls of the building and rolling onto the ground as if it had all been the easiest thing in the world.“Holy shit.” Lincoln whispered as the figure walked a few paces closer to them and stopped. It was clearly a man dressed all in black; leather jacket, black jeans, gloves and a hood over the top of his head, his face shielded by a jet black mask. It looked as if it had been made up of several smaller pieces welded together, with two pieces of blacked-out glass covering the eyes.“What the hell are you looking at?” Daisy shouted argumentatively, the ground beneath her shaking slightly as her shock began to manifest through her powers.The man in the mask unzipped his jacket and held out a small piece of white card. He let it fall to the floor before running off. Before anyone could act and give chase the man had climbed up the side of another building with immense skill and vanished out of sight.“What the hell was that all about?” Jemma wondered.“Who was that? That was like, ninja level skill.” Leo said. “I’d be pissed off if I weren’t so impressed.”Lincoln hurried over to where the masked man had dropped the card and picked it up as the others joined him.“What is it?” Jemma asked. Lincoln looked confused as he handed the card to Jemma. In a thick marker pen, the card had left them a message from the man in the mask. GO TO HIS GRAVE. BRING SHOVELS. …Bobbi had been sat by Lance’s grave for quite some time, though she wasn’t sure of any specifics. She’d felt this aching need to get out of that community centre and just get away from everyone else. The more time she spent staring at Lance’s name on the gravestone, the more she hoped it would eventually sink in that he was really gone.She thought about that night before he died when he knocked on her door and kissed her. They never really got any time to talk about that. They both thought they’d have all the time in the world. She’d spent the first few weeks knowing him ignoring his sarcastic comments and rolling her eyes at everything he did, but now she knows there’s was more to him than that she wished she could change it. Why didn’t Jemma just go back and change things?Bobbi put her head in her hands; she knew she couldn’t hold that against Jemma. None of them really had much of an idea of how to control their powers. If any of them could have done something they would have. Was he scared when it happened? When he was falling? Was he scared like he was afraid his aunt was?She wiped a tear away at the thought. She spent most of the time she knew him ignoring him but now he was dead all she craved to do was to listen. She didn’t want to forget his voice. I suppose if anything, I’m getting much more sleep than I would normally. Downside is I’m still stuck in this bloody box. If I run out of air will I die again? Then come back to no air and die again? And again? Fuck me, that’s dark. Bobbi froze where she sat as her eyes widened. That was Lance’s voice in her head, clear as crystal. Was she just remembering? She didn’t remember him ever saying something like that though. Was that…was he…? “Hey Lance, do you have a sore throat?” “Nah mate, just coffin.” At least I still have my sense of humour. Bobbi stood up. “…Lance?”She could hear him. She could hear his thoughts. He’s alive. He’s alive…and buried. Buried alive.“LANCE!” Bobbi shouted. “Oh my god…oh my…god…”“Bobbi!”Bobbi turned around to see the others rushing towards her, Coulson not far behind them. Coulson, Lincoln and Leo were each carrying a shovel.“LANCE IS ALIVE! HE’S ALIVE IN THERE! I…I CAN HEAR HIM!” Bobbi exclaimed.“Bloody hell.” Leo whispered.“Lucky I had these in the van.” Coulson stated as he walked forward and held up his shovel. “Keep watch in case anyone notices. We need to be as fast as possible.”Leo and Lincoln joined Coulson as they stood over Lance’s grave and began digging while the others all kept watch. The cemetery was barely visited anyway but you could never be too sure. Eventually, Bobbi heard Lance’s voice again. What the fuck is that noise? “He can hear you, you’re getting close!” Bobbi stated.“That guy in the mask…how did he know?” Daisy asked Jemma.“Your guess is as good as mine.” Jemma shrugged.“What man in a mask?” Bobbi asked.“We saw this guy watching us – all in black and in a mask – he left us this.” Jemma explained, handing Bobbi the piece of card.“…That’s not possible. He must have known Lance was alive.” Bobbi said as she read it.“And possibly that you were here too. Your powers make you the only one of us who could ever have found out he was still alive.” Daisy added. “I think he knew you’d be here to tell us.”“Be he was dead, right? So is this his power? Is he immortal or has he used up his ability by coming back?” Lincoln speculated.“No idea.” Leo huffed as he kept digging.“But I suggest not killing him again to find out.” Coulson grimaced just as there was a loud clank of metal. “Bingo.”Coulson, Lincoln and Leo quickly removed all the dirt they needed to, revealing the metal plaque with Lance’s name engraved on top of the coffin.An eerie silence fell over the group. Eventually, Coulson knelt down and lightly knocked on the wooden top and stepped back. The group heard some shuffling before the lid of the coffin slowly opened and flipped over, revealing a dishevelled Lance lying inside. Everyone’s faces lit up at the sight of him as he sat up and looked around.“…You arseholes.” Lance said. “How long have I been stuck in there?”Saying nothing, Bobbi jumped down into the hole and wrapped her arms around Lance, who slowly hugged her in return. “…This feels pretty nice, actually. I’ve missed human contact. Thanks.”“I heard you down there. I hadn’t before but this time I did.” Bobbi smiled as she helped Lance to his feet and got him out of the newly dug pit.“Well, I’ve been napping a lot, so…” Lance said, suddenly smirking. “…You’ve been visiting me a lot, then? You missed me.”“Don’t think I won’t force you back in there.” Bobbi chuckled before hugging him again. “We thought you were dead.”“I was. Then I wasn’t. But hey, I have powers after all! Suck on that, dickheads.” Lance chuckled. “Hey Coulson, how’s it going?”“Not too bad.” Coulson smiled, placing a hand on Lance’s shoulder. “You doing okay?”“Well, I’m in a suit so I’m feeling very overdressed right now, but apart from that…can’t complain. And I doubt I actually need food to survive now but I’m really craving a burger.” Lance stated.“I think I can arrange that.” Coulson chuckled as everyone rushed to greet Lance once more.…The next day, Lance walked into the locker room with a huge grin as everyone turned to face him. “Oh, how I’ve missed this place. Can’t believe I’m saying it, but I did.”“I wasn’t actually expecting you, Lance.” Coulson said as he entered the room and saw Lance stood there. “Had you chosen to continue letting people believe you were dead, you wouldn’t have been legally required to be here. But here you are, so best get your jumpsuit on.”“…Shit.” Lance sighed as he headed to his locker.“How did it go with your parents?” Lincoln asked.“Mum fainted when she answered the door. Didn’t wake up for about an hour. My word, they were pissed off. Told them it was a practical joke but they didn’t seem to appreciate the flawless execution. Still, they’re coming round. Said that I had people sneak in some snacks and shit in the coffin to keep me going for a few days and then got them to dig me up. We have to pay damages to the church and pay off a few police officers but here we are, all fixed. Well, except for the creepy fucker in the mask you told me about who knew I was alive.” Lance explained as he got changed.“Just try not to get yourselves in any trouble, guys. I’d rather not have any more drama for the next three weeks.” Coulson said.“Have you heard from May yet?” Jemma asked.“She still needs time to heal. She’s a strong woman, she’ll be okay.” Coulson nodded. “Right then, who fancies relabelling the books in the library? All of you, that’s who. Enjoy.”Coulson smiled as he headed out and everyone slowly stood up to head to the library.“Can I talk to you quickly?” Daisy asked as he approached Leo.“Uh…yeah. Okay.” Leo nodded as he followed Daisy out of the locker room and into a storage cupboard nearby. “What’s up, did you-?”Leo was interrupted by Daisy pushing him against the wall and passionately kissing him with all she had, running her hands up his chest and moaning as the kiss deepened. Eventually she pulled away and licked her lips with a smile as she remained close to Leo, who stared at her in complete shock.“I’ve wanted to do that since the second I first saw you.” Daisy whispered seductively. “When we’re done in the library, I want you to have your way with me.”She smiled again as she walked out of the cupboard and left Leo there, frozen in shock. It took a few minutes for him to compose himself and walk out himself, wondering what on Earth had just happened.…Everyone sorted through the books in the library, chatting away. Leo remained silent throughout, unable to look Daisy in the eye. Eventually Daisy said she was going to the toilet and headed out, looking back and winking at Leo as she went.“God, I should’ve stayed dead.” Lance moaned as he threw more books into a box.“I’m glad you didn’t.” Bobbi smiled at him. He smiled back.“So what do you think the deal is with the man in the mask?” Lincoln wondered. “Do we have a super fan or something?”“What the hell did we even do before that storm?” Jemma chuckled.Suddenly, Daisy burst through the door. “There you all are!”“Okay, I have to say something, I can’t hold it in!” Leo exclaimed, panic taking him over. “Daisy, you’re a nice person and you are very pretty but I don’t see you and that way and I’m very aware I probably should have said this in private but I’m not good at social skills!”Everyone stared at Leo in stunned silence.“Oh, I’ve missed this kind of shit.” Lance grinned.“What are you talking about?” Daisy asked.“You know what I’m talking about! When you led me into that cupboard earlier and kissed me and said you wanted me to…have my way with you.” Leo blushed.“WHAT?!” Daisy shouted. “I DID NOT!”“Yes you did!” Leo argued.“You did ask to speak to him in private earlier…” Bobbi noted, holding back a smirk.“No I didn’t. I’ve only just got in! I overslept; I’ve been looking for you guys everywhere! Did you cover for me with Coulson?” Daisy asked. “Fitz, I don’t know what you’re on, but-”“-Daisy, you were there this morning. You just went to the toilet a minute ago!” Lincoln said.“Are you all high or something? I’ve just got in!” Daisy said.“What the hell is happening?” Leo exclaimed. “If you didn’t…then who was…?”Leo hurried out of the library and ran into the nearest bathroom. There was no one to be found. Bobbi followed him inside.“Is there anyone in here?” Bobbi asked.“No, I don’t think so.” Leo sighed.“Good.” Bobbi smiled, pushing Leo against the wall and kissing him. He pushed her away.“Bobbi, what the hell?” Leo shouted.“Oh, so not her either? Does this one do it for you?” Bobbi asked. Leo’s eyes widened when Bobbi’s skin began to bubble and in a few seconds Jemma was stood in front of him.“What about this one? You were staring at her quite a lot earlier. Do you love her? Is this who you want, Leo?” Jemma asked.“What do you mean ‘earlier’? Earlier I was…wait…Aida?”Jemma smiled as her skin bubbled again and now Aida appeared in front of Leo. “Didn’t take you too long to work it out. I always loved how smart you were.”“Aida, what…what happened?” Leo wondered.“You never really saw me all that time ago, did you? I always wanted to be someone else, someone that you would notice. Then there was that storm a few weeks ago, remember? I got caught in it and suddenly I could be anyone I laid my eyes on. I can be anyone you want me to be. It was fate that we found each other again. Now I can be your dream girl.” Aida grinned. “I can be Jemma all the time if you wanted. Now you can love me.”“Aida, no…this…this is wrong.” Leo warned. “You can’t just…you can’t go around doing this.”“If it gets me what I want, I’ll never stop.” Aida stated. “And I want you to notice me. At last. They said you did work at this place so I came and found you. Now we can be together.”“Aida, we can’t…you have a life. A whole life outside from me. You don’t need me.”“I’ve needed you from day one, Leopold. These people…they’ve changed you. I can sense it. They’ll stop us being together…so I’ll stop them.” Aida said.“Don’t you dare lay a finger on my friends.” Leo snapped.“They’re not your friends. They don’t love you like I do. I’ve always seen you for who you truly are. I know how special you are. And now I can give you anything you desire.” Aida said.“Aida, please. Listen to me. This isn’t healthy. For either of us. You need to be who you really are otherwise you’ll never be happy. I can’t give you what you want. I…I was selfish. I ignored you. And I’m sorry. I should never have done that. I know all too well what that feels like. But there will be people out there who will love you for you. I don’t deserve the chance to be that person.” Leo said emotionally.“I’ll be happy if you are. That’s all that matters.” Aida said.“I’m happy now, Aida! With those people, with my friends! They make me happy! I finally feel part of something, don’t you see? For the first time in my life, I feel like I belong. I should never have treated you the way I did. It’s exactly how I hated being treated myself. I’m so sorry. You can be happy too, Aida, you just need to find the right people to make you happy. You…you need to let me go. I blew my shot. But my friends…they’ve made me better. And look what you did without me! You got a job, you got by! I’ve never done as much as you; I’m doing community service for god’s sake! You don’t need me, or love me. You love the idea of me. And I only know all of this because my friends have shown me the way. You’ll find your way too.” Leo said.“…But I can be anyone now.” Aida said.“All you need to be is you. Except maybe on Halloween, because with your power you could make one hell of a costume.” Leo smiled. Aida smiled slightly.“You might think you’ll never find the right people to be your friends or even more than that, but I promise you…you will. I know, because I thought I never would. But here I am. There’s a time to live and a time to sleep, and finding the right people to spend your life with…bloody hell, that’s living. I was lucky enough to find mine and it might take some looking but you’ll find your people too. You have the framework to build something amazing…go find the rest of it. Don’t believe in me, that would be terrible advice…just…believe in yourself. And if we’d never met again I would never have had the experience I’ve had to be able to tell you that.” He added.“But my powers…why would I have gotten them if I have no need of them?” Aida asked.“…I like to think everything happens for a reason. Maybe you got given your powers to show you that all you really need to get by is yourself. So go out there and do good. I know you can and I know you will. Even if you have to fly around the world to find yourself, do it…and then you’ll find who you’ll need to along the way.”Aida could see in Leo’s eyes that he meant every word of what he’d said. His sheer belief in the people he’d met…who would she be to take them away from him?“Thank you.” She whispered, hugging Leo gently. “For believing in me.”“Good luck, Aida.” Leo smiled. “Really.”Aida smiled back, saying nothing more as she turned and walked out. She didn’t look back.“Thank god that worked.” Leo sighed. “Those would’ve been very long-winded last words.”…“I think you’re the only person in the world who could talk a psychopath around.” Lincoln chuckled as everyone sat at a table in their favourite diner.“I thought she was a psychopath but…she was just misunderstood. I know how it feels.” Leo nodded happily.“I’m just glad it’s sorted and the air’s been cleared. You’re a great guy, Fitz, but I don’t think you’re my type.” Daisy said.“Glad to hear it.” Leo smiled.“Well, Aida’s gonna be okay, our favourite sarcastic prick is back from the dead and not a sign of the man in the mask…maybe things can start resembling normality for once now?” Lincoln suggested.“One can only hope.” Jemma grinned.From the building opposite, the man in the mask sat on the roof watching the group laugh together. Whenever and wherever he needed to be, he’d be there. Watching. Waiting. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Daisy, wake up! We’re going to be late at this rate.” Jemma shouted as she banged on the door of the spare bedroom Daisy had been sleeping in for the last few weeks.“I’m up, I’m up. Five minutes.” Daisy shouted back. Jemma headed downstairs with a satisfied smile, pleasantly surprised Daisy had actually gotten up on time for once.“Shit.” Daisy cursed as she flew out of bed and looked at the time. “Every bloody day.”She shoved on the nearest clothes she could find (she’d just have to change into the orange jumpsuit anyway) and brushed her hair as quickly as she could before rushing downstairs. Jemma was waiting by the door. “Ready?”“Always.” Daisy smirked as she followed Jemma out of the house. “And I promise I’ll be out of your hair soon.”“I told you, you’re welcome to stay with us as long as you like. It’s no bother.” Jemma smiled.“I hope Coulson doesn’t make it sort through the rubbish bins again.” Daisy began as the two walked down to the road leading up to the community centre. “I can still smell those frickin’ rats. Ew.”“I actually find rats quite fascinating.” Jemma commented as she and Daisy began to cross the road. “The behaviour they can display in different situations and experimental tests is quite extraordinary. Did you know-?”“JEMMA!” Daisy screamed as a car playing loud music screeched suddenly around the corner, heading straight for the two girls crossing the road. Daisy instinctively jumped out of the way, only to look back in horror at the sight of Jemma frozen where she stood in terror, eyes fixated on the car. “JEMMA!”Jemma suddenly felt a tightening around her before she found herself being flung to the side of the road. The car continued to speed down the road with seemingly no concern for anyone. Jemma dusted herself off and looked up to see a familiar figure stood over her.The man in the mask.Jemma stood up quickly. “You…you saved me.”The man in the mask stood silently looking at her. Jemma wished she could look directly into the eyes behind the black plastic. “…Thank you.”As Jemma took a step closer, the man in the mask stepped back and rushed off, climbing up the side of a nearby building and vanishing out of sight.“Wait!” Jemma shouted after him as Daisy ran up to her.“Holy crap, are you okay?” Daisy asked worriedly.“Yeah, I…I’m fine. Did you see that?” Jemma asked.“It was amazing! He came out of nowhere! Who the hell is that guy? How did he know to be here?” Daisy wondered.“I haven’t the faintest idea.” Jemma said, deciding not to add that the questions Daisy posed were immensely fascinating to her.…“And he just came out of nowhere, ran straight towards Jemma without hesitation and pushed her out of the way. It was like something out of a movie!” Daisy recalled in the locker room as she and Jemma filled the group in on the previous events.“That’s crazy. And you’re alright?” Bobbi asked Jemma, who nodded.“I’m fine physically, but I realised on the walk here that my necklace must’ve fallen off in the confusion. My grandmother gave it to me years ago and I barely took it off.” Jemma revealed sadly.“We can look for it on the way back. We’ll find it.” Daisy nodded comfortingly.“Okay, so the creepy stalker cosplayer saved Jemma, but that doesn’t take away the fact that he’s a creepy stalker cosplayer.” Lance shrugged.“To be fair, Jemma could have died.” Lincoln said.“Tell it to someone who can’t come back to life.” Lance grinned like a schoolboy.“He seems to know more about us than we do; where we’ll be, what we’re doing, who we are…it’s pretty scary to think about. It’s dangerous for people to know too much about us.” Leo said.At that moment, Coulson walked in with an unknown young woman, her dark hair tied in a tight ponytail and dressed in the all too familiar orange jumpsuit.“Everyone, this is Kara. She’ll be joining you for the next week or so. Make her feel welcome and get to work on tidying up the main hall after the 60th birthday party they held there last night.” Coulson explained, his eyes telling the group to be sure not to mention anything about powers and demon probation workers to her.The door shut behind Coulson as he headed out, and Kara leant against the wall, saying nothing as she stared at everyone in turn.“So, what’re you in for?” Lance asked.“This ain’t prison.” Kara rolled her eyes.“But it could’ve been.” Lance joked. Bobbi held back a laugh.“Assaulted a bouncer at a club, if you must know.” Kara said. “So which way to the main hall?”“We don’t have to hurry down there. Coulson’s not too strict.” Lance said.“…Look, I’m not gonna be here long. I’m not looking to chat and make friends. So…which way to the main hall?” Kara snapped.“We’ll show you. Come on.” Lincoln said as the group all headed out.“Have we met somewhere before? You look really familiar.” Jemma asked Kara as they walked.“…No.” Kara said suddenly.“Really? I feel like I’ve seen you somewhere. Did you go-?”“We’ve never met before.” Kara snapped, silencing Jemma.“I bet she’s fun at parties.” Lance whispered to Leo, who laughed lightly. Kara clocked the two laughing.“Something funny? I’m not gonna take any shit. You’re a rude prick and you look like you belong in an asylum.” Kara said, pointing at Lance and Leo in turn.“Oh come on, lighten up. We’re all friends here; you might as well have some fun with us.” Lance suggested.“I can have fun by myself, thanks.” Kara rolled her eyes.“Really? Can I watch?” Lance joked.Kara walked right up into Lance’s face. “That’s disgusting. Just shut your mouth around me, yeah?”“No sense of humour. Noted.” Lance said.“Prick.” Kara spat as they reached the main hall. Kara went off on her own to start clearing tables of paper plates.“I don’t think I made a brilliant first impression there.” Lance said.“She just doesn’t understand you like we do yet.” Daisy noted.“If we get to know her, she might be lovely herself.” Jemma suggested.“Yeah, she’ll be the life and soul of the party by lunchtime.” Lincoln smirked before noting Kara glaring at the group from the other side of the room.…Lance stood by his locker checking his phone while the others ate lunch together in the courtyard. He turned at the sound of the door opening and was surprised to see Kara stood there, staring at his intensely.“…Don’t worry, I’ll get out of your hair once I’ve sent my mum the daily reminder that I’m alive. Long story.” Lance smiled.Kara said nothing as she walked up to Lance and forcefully grabbed his wrist.“What the hell?” Lance argued, trying to pull his hand away. He was shocked to find he couldn’t escape Kara’s strong grip. “What the fuck is going on?”“I’d say I’m sorry about this, but it’s necessary.” Kara said, using her free hand to partially unzip her jumpsuit to reveal her bare shoulder. Lance’s eyes widened when he saw instead of bare skin he was greeted with the sight of stone.“I…I…” Lance tried to speak but found himself unable to. He looked down at Kara’s hand on his wrist as he felt an intense burning; Kara’s hand glowed a soft orange. Suddenly, the orange glow transferred onto his skin as his hand began turning to stone, rapidly spreading across his body. He stared at Kara and pleaded with his eyes, but she only watched in silence, stepping away as the process completed.“At least now you’ll definitely stop talking.” Kara smiled, examining her shoulder and grinning as the stony surface transformed into normal skin once more.…“Where the hell is he? Prick owes me a Snickers.” Lincoln wondered as the group headed back inside to find Lance. They’d waited nearly half an hour and yet he still hadn’t joined them outside.“Not dead again is he?” Leo joked as they walked into the locker room.“Holy shit! LANCE!” Daisy cried at the sight of a statue perfectly resembling Lance stood by his open locker.“What the hell is that?” Jemma asked.“I…I think…I think it’s him. I think it’s Lance.” Leo said.“Last time I checked he wasn’t a fucking statue!” Lincoln stated.Bobbi inspected the statue further, taking in every detail. Looking down, she noticed one stone hand was clutching onto Lance’s mobile.“He’s holding his phone, look!” Bobbi said, staring at the statue in shock. “…It’s him.”“Does he have another power or something?” Daisy wondered.“We all have one specific power set; it would seem unlikely based on what we’ve experienced that any one of us has more than one ability.” Jemma explained.“Then how do you explain that? Our friend’s a statue!” Lincoln shouted.“…Kara.” Leo said, and everyone looked at him. “…I mean…it’s only speculation, but…it could have been her. She arrived here today and suddenly Lance gets turned to stone.”“It’s the most plausible theory.” Jemma agreed.“I’ll go get Coulson.” Daisy announced and hurried off.“We need to find Kara and sort this. Rule her out if – however unlikely it may be – she’s not involved, then focus on dealing with this. Maybe the storm affected her too? We know all too well it wasn’t just all of us who received powers.” Jemma said.“And…and what if we can’t fix this?” Lincoln whispered in case somehow Lance was still able to hear them.“…Then we deal with that possibility should we need to.” Jemma nodded, worry in her eyes.Daisy rushed back into the room. “We’ve got a problem. Well, another one.”“What is it?” Leo asked.Daisy sighed as she held up her phone for everyone to see. Displayed on the screen was a picture of a statue in Coulson’s office stood by the desk, looking exactly like Coulson himself.“Oh shit.” Lincoln said.“We’re on our own.” Daisy said. “It’s gotta be that Kara bitch. It has to be.”“You guys go and find her, find out what she’s done.” Bobbi ordered, unable to take her eyes off the statue of Lance. “…I’ll stay here.”“You sure?” Leo asked.“…If it were me and…and there’s a possibility I’d know what was going on around me…I wouldn’t want to be alone. And if she comes back I can deal with her.” Bobbi nodded. A silent agreement filled the room as Jemma and Leo headed off in one direction and Daisy and Lincoln went another.Bobbi turned back to the statue after watching the others leave and concentrated as hard as she could for a few minutes.She sighed. She couldn’t hear any thoughts coming from Lance. Maybe he couldn’t hear, see or feel anything after all.“I’m sorry.” Bobbi said. “And I must be a complete idiot stood here talking to a statue.”She sat down on the bench next to the statue and looked at it for a while. “…Is this the longest you’ve ever gone without talking?”She smiled and laughed lightly. “…You’d have laughed at that. Please laugh.”Silence.“We’ll fix this. I know we will.” Bobbi nodded. “We always fix it. Hell, we’ve already lost you once then got you back…we’re getting accustomed to it.”Silence again. Bobbi stood up. “I mean…we’re not. That was a joke. Really bad one, actually. We were…well, we were devastated when you…you know. God, it feels like I’ve known you all for years. Hasn’t even been two months. I doubt many of us would even be speaking if it hadn’t been for that storm, huh? We’d just be silently getting on with it. We kinda got thrown together, didn’t we? You know, I’m actually glad we did. I can’t believe I’m saying it but…I’m glad we got caught in that storm, otherwise I wouldn’t have you guys.”She walked closer to the statue, tears in her eyes. “I’ve always wanted to have a proper family to be close to, and now I’ve got one. People to rely on, to look to when I need them. I look to Daisy for advice, Jemma for comfort, Leo for facts I pretend I don’t find interesting but actually do, Lincoln for someone to lean on no matter what. And when I need someone to make me laugh without fail and remind me life isn’t that bad…I look to you.”Bobbi tentatively reached out for the statue’s open hand and felt the coldness against her palm. “I regretted so much when we lost you the first time…things that didn’t get spoken about. You know, when we…and now here we are all over again and if we really do lose you this time…of all the things that could’ve killed us over the last few weeks but didn’t, I think knowing you’re really gone might just be the one to actually do it.”She sat down again when she realised she was crying. “God, I’m ridiculous. I sound like a soppy loved-up teenager. And I’m not saying that I…I just…maybe I got you wrong at first. And if you can hear me then at least you know that now, I really see you. And I like what I see.”“Hell of a speech.” A new voice commented. Bobbi stood up defensively at the sight of Kara stood at the doorway. “You’ll all come back here eventually…but I guess I can start with you.”Kara reached out a hand as she walked closer to Bobbi, an orange glow running through it.“…So it is you. What did the storm did to you?” Bobbi said, stepping backwards away from Kara.“More than you think. Nice to know that you know about the storm too.” Kara stated.“And turning people into statues? Pretty shit power if you ask me.” Bobbi spat with anger.Kara laughed. “I told you, the storm did more than you think. This is nothing compared to the gift it truly gave me. I only do this to keep that gift.”“I don’t understand.” Bobbi stated.“That’s okay. It won’t matter to you for much longer.” Kara said, leaping for Bobbi.Bobbi closed her eyes, only opening them at the sound of a loud crash as Daisy burst through the door and sent Kara flying into some lockers with a shockwave. Lincoln followed her in. “Couldn’t find the bitch. Now we know why.”“I’m trying not to take this personally, and neither should any of you. I have to do this; there’s no choice. I can’t go back.” Kara said angrily as she got up.“Go back to what?” Lincoln asked.“It doesn’t concern you.” Kara said before rushing next to the statue of Lance and placing a hand firmly on its shoulder. “Any sudden movements, or if I even suspect anyone is about to make a move, your friend takes a trip.”“Don’t you dare.” Bobbi warned.“I have no more use for him now, so it would be a shame to ruin such a handsome looking face. How about we make a deal?” Kara suggested.“What kind of deal?” Daisy questioned.“Only one of you need give yourself up to me, and then I’ll go and never come back. I’ll find others to feed on instead.” Kara stated.“You think we’ll just let you walk out and hurt more innocent people?” Lincoln said argumentatively.“It’s either that or I claim all of you.” Kara said emotionlessly. “So yes.”“It’s okay.” Bobbi said, staring at Lincoln and Daisy in turn. “Leave my friends alone and you can have me.”“Bobbi, no!” Daisy argued.“Do we have a deal?” Bobbi asked Kara, who nodded happily.“Smart girl.” Kara smirked.“Bobbi, what the hell are you doing?” Lincoln exclaimed.“The right thing. Saving all you guys. I was always brought up on the idea that if something felt wrong, then you shouldn’t do it. This feels right. You guys have done more for me than you could ever know, so let me pay you back.” Bobbi explained tearfully, her eyes fixated on the statue of Lance. Maybe after she was gone the others could find a way to change them back? Or even just Lance? There was, surprisingly, always hope“Bobbi, please.” Daisy begged. “We can’t lose anyone else.”“Everything’s gonna be fine.” Bobbi said, looking at Kara. “Do it.”“Good.” Kara said, her glowing hand reaching out for Bobbi as she moved away from the statue and towards her. “I don’t know if it hurts or not, sorry.”“Bobbi, no!” Daisy screamed.“Hey!” Jemma shouted as she appeared at the doorway. Kara turned to face her. “Not another single one of my friends, you bitch.”Kara rolled her eyes and lunged for Bobbi, only for her eyes to widen as she cried in pain, clutching her stomach and falling back against the door on the other side of the room as if she’d been kicked with brutal force. “What…?”Her glowing hand moved up and started shaking as if she couldn’t control it’s movements but was fighting them anyway. She spat and screamed as her shaking hand moved closer and closer towards her face. Her hand touched the bare skin of her cheek and the orange glow spread into her face as she squealed.Leo appeared in front of her out of thin air, having been the one who kicked and restrained her. “I’m sorry.”Leo stepped back and joined the others as Kara’s cheek began to turn to stone, slowly spreading across her face to silence her wails. She leant against the door as the rest of her body turned to stone, leaving her a statue like all her other victims.“We heard a crash before and came running then listened at the door.” Jemma explained. “Leo suggested using his powers to sneak in and get her away from you all. Genius, really.”“Well, it was Jemma who thought of using her own powers against her so she should take the credit.” Leo shrugged.“But you were the one who executed the plan to perfection, so…” Jemma blushed.“You were the one who heard the crash in the first place, and without that -” Leo began.“-You were both brilliant.” Daisy grinned as she hugged them both and turned to Bobbi. “Are you okay, Bobbi?”“Yeah, yeah. Fine.” Bobbi said, still staring at the statue of Lance. “…I thought maybe…I guess there wasn’t hope.”The sadness filling the room was halted by the small sound of a crack. Everyone turned to face the direction of the noise and watched as the surface of the statue of Lance started to fill with little cracks, growing larger and more frequent until flakes of stone began falling away and Lance fell to the floor with a huff. Everyone’s faces lit up as Lance caught his breath and looked up at the others.“Well, pretty sure I’m claustrophobic.”“Are you okay?” Bobbi asked, kneeling down to his level.“Yeah, I…I think so. Now.” Lance smiled at her. She smiled back.“I knew I recognised her.” Jemma said. “Now she’s all stone it’s obvious. It’s the statue that’s part of the fountain in the park gardens, right?”“Holy shit…you’re right. It is! It’s her!” Lincoln said. “God knows how many times I’ve walked past that.”“So what, the storm, like, brought a statue to life?” Daisy wondered.“Makes sense.” Lance said as he stood up. “She was all stony under her jumpsuit. I think turning people into statues allowed her to hold onto a human form, like she was draining them. Us. Me. Ew.”“Maybe since it wasn’t a living thing before the storm, the statue had to manually retain their powers. There’s no blood or organs or tissue to hold the biological changes the storm must have had on humans.” Leo speculated.“And since the source of all this mess has been restored to its natural state, the powers it was given faded away and undid everything that had been done, fixing all of Kara’s victims.” Jemma added.“Every action must have an equal and opposite reaction.” Leo smiled. “Science, biatch.”“Well that’s all very well and good, but the question is now…what do we do with her?” Lance asked.“WHAT ON EARTH WAS THAT ABOUT?!” Coulson shouted as he slammed the door open. The door flew into Kara and sent her falling down to the floor, smashing into little chunks of stone.Silence.“…Never mind.” Lance added.…After visiting the park and finding the statue at the water fountain was nowhere to be seen and clearly hadn’t been for some time, the group’s theory about where she’d come from had been confirmed. However, there was still one more mystery about her that was bugging the team.“How did she get the name Kara? And get herself into community service?” Jemma asked as she and Leo stood in Coulson’s office.“That’s the mystery. All the paperwork about her looks official and legit. If there is an explanation out there, we’ve yet to find it.” Coulson said, handing Leo a folder of all the documents relating to ‘Kara’.“I’ll go over it all, see if I can find anything.” Leo said. “Loose ends make me anxious.”“If anyone can solve it, it’s probably you two – Leo and Jemma. Fitz and Simmons. Fitzsimmons! You should use that.” Coulson suggested. “Start a band or something.”Leo and Jemma shared a look and smiled as they walked out of the office to join the others.“He’s mad, that one.” Leo chuckled.“We’re all mad, let’s just accept it.” Jemma grinned.…Bobbi hurried downstairs after hearing a knock on the door, pleasantly surprised to see Lance stood there.“Oh…hi.” Bobbi smiled.“Hey. I, uh…sorry to keep showing up on your doorstep unannounced.” Lance chuckled.“It’s okay.” Bobbi laughed. “…How’re you holding up?”“I’m alright; I’m not gonna lie and say it wasn’t absolutely terrifying being turned to stone but…you know, it all ended up okay.” Lance nodded.“Good. So, what’s up?” Bobbi asked.Lance took a moment to work up some courage. “I, uh…I heard what you said. You know, when I was…rock n’ roll without the roll. About me and…you.”“Oh. I wasn’t sure if you had.” Bobbi felt all her breath leave her body.“I just, I didn’t want to make a big deal of it in front of everyone, you know? It’d be rude of me to basically tell them I know I’m your favourite.” Lance smirked.Bobbi laughed. “I don’t think that’s what I said.”“…No. Guess not.” Lance chuckled nervously. “So…I, um…I was wondering…maybe we…do you want to go out to dinner sometime? Maybe?”“…I’d love to.” Bobbi blushed, holding back a grin.Lance couldn’t hold back his. “Wow. Okay. Brilliant. We can, uh…we can sort out details later, right? I don’t really have a solid plan because I didn’t want to come across as too desperate.”“Smooth.” Bobbi smiled. “We can talk about it tomorrow sometime?”“Yeah, yeah. Okay. I’ll, uh…I’ll see you tomorrow then.” Lance nodded.“See you tomorrow.” Bobbi said softly.They shared a smile before Lance turned and began to walk away.“Oi, Hunter.” Bobbi called out, rushing after Lance.“Yeah?” Lance asked.Bobbi reached Lance, grabbed his shirt and pulled him into a deep kiss. Their lips parted and Bobbi, saying nothing else, smiled and ran back into her house.Lance stayed stood where he was for a few moments, grinned, and headed home.…Having bid goodnight to Daisy and her parents, Jemma got washed and changed ready for bed. After following her nightly bedtime routine perfectly as always, she returned from the bathroom into her bedroom and stopped dead at the sight of her open bedroom window letting in the gentle night breeze. Sat on the ledge inside the room was the man in the mask.Jemma went to scream but nothing came out. She remained frozen as the man in the mask stood up and slowly reached down, unzipping a pocket sewn into his trousers and pulling out a familiar object – a silver necklace of a rose with golden petals. The necklace she’d lost that morning.“…You found it.” Jemma said eventually, cautiously approaching the man and taking the necklace from his gloved hand. “I’d almost forgotten about everything this morning. I’ve had a long day. There was the girl and she…sorry, you don’t care. Do you? Wait…why am I even trying to tell you all this? It’s like…I don’t know…”Jemma took a step closer, leaving her only inches away from the man in the mask. “…Do I know you?”She couldn’t really see through the mask, but Jemma knew the man behind it was staring deeply into her eyes. After a few moments, he turned around and slowly climbed out of the window and away from view. Jemma shivered as she closed the window and stared at the necklace in her hand, wondering what she could have possibly been doing with her days before that storm turned her life upside down. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Good morning, all!” Bobbi sang as she walked happily into the locker room with a spring in her step. Everyone was present except Lance.“What’s got you all smiley?” Daisy asked suspiciously.“She’s got a date with Lance tonight.” Leo smirked.“Shut the hell up!” Daisy grinned excitedly as Jemma’s jaw dropped.“How the hell did you know?” Bobbi asked, turning to Leo.“You think he didn’t text us both the second after it happened?” Lincoln chuckled.“And how you were both so excited for it you called each other up and scheduled it for the very next evening.” Leo smirked.“Screw you guys.” Bobbi said.“I don’t think Lance would approve of that.” Lincoln chuckled.“Is it bad that I’m this nervous? I mean, it’s Lance.” Bobbi wondered.“First piece of advice, don’t say his name like it’s a bad thing. He has a sweet side and you bring that out in him. You two have been giving each other the eye since the second we dug him up…a sentence I never thought I’d say.” Daisy said.“Why don’t we come over to yours later and help you get ready?” Jemma suggested.“That would be amazing! Thank you!” Bobbi smiled as Lance walked in and stopped at the sight of her.“Hi.” He said shyly.“…Hey.” Bobbi blushed.The others silently stared at them both in turn.“…Okay, either make out or start talking because this silence is killing me!” Lincoln exclaimed.“Sorry.” Lance and Bobbi said in unison, sharing a smile as they did so.“Okay, this is too cute for me. I can feel my teeth rotting. Let’s go put up some shelves or something.” Daisy rolled her eyes and headed out, Jemma and Bobbi following her. As Lincoln and Leo stood up and went to follow, Lance stepped in front of them.“Right, you two need to come over to my place tonight and help me get ready for this date.” Lance declared nervously.“…Are you nervous?” Lincoln smirked.“Of course I’m bloody nervous! The confidence, the coolness…it’s all a façade! Well, maybe not the coolness. Don’t you know me at all?!” Lance exclaimed.“I’m not sure I’ll be of much help. Can’t I just-?” Leo began.“No. You’re coming. I need any and all help I can get.” Lance ordered.“But I’d planned a perfect night in doing absolutely nothing!” Leo argued.…Jemma rolled her eyes and chuckled that evening as she shut the front door of her house behind her and set off for Bobbi’s place. Daisy was running late as ever so told Jemma to go on ahead and help Bobbi out as much as she could until she got there. She wasn’t sure if she was comfortable with that; she’d always felt like she was the least glamorous out of the three girls. What good could she possibly do? Daisy would have all the best tips, and Bobbi was beautiful enough as it was. If anything, she was afraid of being a hindrance.She took a shortcut through the town centre and hurried along, checking her phone and her bag to make sure she had everything she needed for the tenth time. She glanced at any passers-by and clocked any movement as she made her way through what was known to be a dodgy part of the city. Then movement in an unexpected place caught her attention.The derelict abandoned pub had remained open for quite some time after the rest of the nearby buildings were knocked down, but eventually it too succumbed to the troubled economic times and shut down. Nothing was ever done with it and eventually it became closed off, overridden with plants and graffiti and parts of it had crumbled away. As Jemma glanced at it she could have sworn she saw a shadow moving nearby.She saw the shadow again and stepped a bit closer. Her eyes adjusted to the dark and she could see what it was. Who it was.The man in the mask. He climbed down from the top of the building to the worn front door and stepped inside.Jemma’s heart stopped. Without thinking, she kicked off her heels, picked them up and ran towards the building as quickly as she could. She stopped at the door and listened for a few moments. Nothing. Tentatively, she pushed open the door and headed inside. The place stank of rot and barely anything could be seen in the darkness. However, Jemma soon spotted a door at the other end of the room that seemed to have a bright white light shining through from the other side. She carefully made her way up to it and slowly opened it.She squinted her eyes as the light filled the room. Behind the door were some stone stairs heading downwards and into another room where the light was even stronger.She held her breath and silently walked down the steps, down a short corridor and into the brightly lit room. Her eyes widened at the sight; a huge expansive space, the bright lights hanging from the ceiling and light blue walls. A bed was positioned against a wall and one corner of the room had been cornered off with some curtains, but the showerhead attached to the wall just above them made it clear it was some sort of bathroom area. One wall was made up almost entirely of screens; several of them were showing CCTV feeds from the local area while others had what looked like a set of countdowns – bold red numbers ticking down, each one different from the other. Five of the countdown screens had already reached zero while some others still had hours, days or even weeks left.Finally, Jemma noticed a plastic grey desk underneath where the countdowns were placed on the wall. She walked up to it and made note of a large green leather-bound book, a smaller black notebook and…the mask.Just the mask. Jemma recognised it instantly as the one the man wore, the mask she’d looked into when he’d saved her life from that car. This place was his home? His lair? His prison? What did all of it mean?Jemma froze at the sound of curtains being drawn open. She didn’t want to turn around; she’d happily just stay there forever or just wait for the man to kill her or…whatever it was he wanted. The only thing that compelled her to turn around was when the man finally spoke, and spoke in a voice she recognised.“Hi.” It couldn’t be him, though. That’s not possible. She turned around and her mouth fell slightly open. It was him. Yet it still wasn’t possible. “…How…I…I don’t…?”“It’s okay. Take your time.”“…Fitz?”Leo smiled and nodded. He was still wearing the rest of the black costume the group had been so perplexed by. “Hey, Jemma.”“But…this doesn’t make sense. You…you’re the man in the mask?” Jemma shook her head.“…Yeah. I understand this might be quite confusing.” Leo said.“No, you can’t be. You’ve been there when we’ve seen him. Why are you dressed up in his costume? What are you doing here?” Jemma questioned.“I am the man in the mask. But not yet, from your point of view.” Leo stated.“What does that mean?” Jemma stepped forward argumentatively.“…I’m…I’m from the future. I travelled back in time to this time.” Leo said.“You’re playing a prank, aren’t you? This isn’t real. Am I asleep somewhere?” Jemma asked.“I’m the Leo you know, just from the future, that’s all. Surely you’ve noticed this?” Leo asked, rubbing his chin. Jemma noted that Leo, this Leo at least, now had stubble. The Leo she knew never had.“Is…is that make-up or fake hair or something? I applaud your attention to detail if nothing else.” Jemma said.“It’s real, Jemma. I’m the Leo you know from the future.”“Prove it.” Jemma snapped.“Call me.” Leo said.“What?”“Give Leo a call. You’ll ask him where he is and he’ll say he probably shouldn’t tell you that and you’ll ask him why and he’ll say because he doesn’t want to drop Lance in it and then he’ll get annoyed at himself for dropping Lance in it. Then you get all confused and hang up.” Leo explained.“And what makes you say that?” Jemma asked.“Because I remember the conversation.” Leo said. “Because it happened in my past.”Jemma scoffed and shook her head as she put her heels on the desk to search through her bag.“Nice shoes.” Leo smirked.“Shut up.” Jemma said as she got out her phone and called Leo.“Hello?” Leo’s voice sounded from the other end, yet the Leo Jemma could see hadn’t said a word, though his smile got bigger.Jemma was silent for a short while, in a state of shock.“…Hello?” Leo asked again from the other end.“Where are you?” Jemma asked, eyes glued to the stubbly Leo.“…Hey, Jemma. I, uh…I probably shouldn’t tell you that.”“Why?”“Because I don’t want to drop Lance in it…oh bloody hell! I always do this! I panic and I’m not good at lying and now you know it’s to do with Lance…shit!” Leo cursed. Jemma could barely keep a grip on the phone as she felt herself getting lightheaded.“…I, uh…oh my…uh…bye.” She said quickly, hanging up. “I’m going to be sick.”“Hey, it’s alright.” Leo said, rushing over to Jemma, pulling out a chair from under the desk and guiding her gently into it.“…You’re from the future? Like…you actually are.” Jemma said in disbelief.“I actually am. I said it myself just then; I’m not good at lying. And if anyone can understand the concept of travelling in time it’s you…that’s your power, after all.” Leo explained.“So how did you do it? How did you travel back here?” Jemma asked, feeling a little better now she was sat down.“…I can’t really say yet. A lot happens from now until where I’ve come from. I mean, it hasn’t been that long, but…so much has gone on. So much has changed. There are things I can and can’t tell you.” Leo explained, kneeling down in front of Jemma and looking into her eyes. “You feeling any better?”“Yeah. Thanks. How much further in time are you from?” Jemma asked.“Can’t say.”“Why did you come back at all?”“To ensure a few things happen when they need to. Keep things on its course.” Leo said.“…The countdowns…” Jemma noted.Leo grinned. “They help me keep track of when I need to perform a task. I’ve got everything written down in that black notebook that I need to know. So no, you can’t look in there. Sorry.”“Five of the countdowns are already done.” Jemma pointed out.“They are. Remember that Kara girl? Turned people into statues? Was a statue?” Leo asked.“Unfortunately.” Jemma nodded.“We couldn’t work out where she got the name from, and all her paperwork, right? Turns out that was me. Task one was to go to the park on the day of the storm and give her the paperwork and information she needed to know.” Leo explained.“And the only reason we even had that paperwork for you to give her…” Jemma began.“…was because I go back and give her that exact same paperwork, yeah. In the mask and everything, of course; couldn’t have her recognising me when the time came for her to cause us trouble.” Leo said.“Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey.” Jemma whispered.Leo laughed. “Quite so.”“You’re a Doctor Who fan?” Jemma asked.“Of course I am. We have plenty of Who marathons in the future.” Leo smiled.“…Really?” Jemma asked and Leo nodded. “…I’m sorry…this is just…it’s bizarre.”“I get it. It’s a lot to take in.”“…What’s the stubble for?” Jemma wondered.“…That’s your next question?” Leo chuckled.“It’s just…it suits you.” Jemma smiled.Leo smiled back. “…I did it to impress a girl I liked. Kinda grew on me. Literally.”Jemma laughed. “You…you seem so different. And yet exactly the same. It’s a good thing, I think.”“Like I said, a lot happens between now and then. We all change. For better or worse.”“…And what about the other four countdowns? Four other tasks?” Jemma wondered.“Yep. Task two was being on that rooftop for you to all see me for the first time and give you the note about Lance’s grave. Thirdly, save you from that car. Forth, give you your necklace back. And fifth, climb around the pub a bit until you noticed me and followed me in here. It was time for you to find out the truth.” Leo explained.“But why me? Why not someone else?” Jemma asked.“…That I can’t tell you just yet. You have quite a special part to play.” Leo smiled, his eyes lighting up suddenly. Jemma found the sight surprisingly beautiful.“My mum always told me I was special.” Jemma joked.Leo laughed lightly. “Well…you are.”“And what will you do when the last countdown is over, the last task?” Jemma enquired.“That depends on how the last task goes, I guess.” Leo shrugged. “There are some things even I don’t know about the future.”“…I can’t believe this is happening. This is madness.” Jemma sighed. “I mean, it’s brilliant, but it’s madness. I mean, what is this place?”“It was the old pub cellar. I expanded the space out, got some materials, installed a few things. I knew no one would find it since the place is abandoned. It’s just somewhere to sleep and shower in between jobs, really.” Leo explained.“You did all of this by yourself?” Jemma asked, looking around.“I had to learn a lot, but yeah. I have to learn a lot of things. Well, the Leo you know has to, anyway.”“Yeah, you’re like a ninja now with all those jumps and stuff.” Jemma smiled and Leo chuckled.“I wouldn’t go that far, but yeah.” Leo smiled. “…You know you can’t tell anyone about any of this. You can’t even hint at it. Especially not to my past self. None of them can know about this yet. It could change the course of our future.”“…Okay.” Jemma nodded.“I’m sorry. I know that’s a lot of pressure to put on you.” Leo sighed.“I understand. Time is a delicate thing, as I’ve discovered. Besides, you’ve got all this tasks to do at the right times…much more pressure than me.” Jemma said. “…There was all of us thinking the man in the mask was evil at first, but then he saved me and…it was you all along.”“Funny how life works out, huh?” Leo smirked. “And if it ever gets too much or you have any more questions, just pop in. If I’m not here just wait around and I’ll never be too long.”“So I can just come whenever I want?” Jemma asked. “You’d be okay with me invading your man cave?”“…I’d love it if you did.” Leo smiled. Jemma smiled back. They lingered for a moment too long and Jemma snapped back to reality, standing up and pointing at the leather-bound book. “What’s that then?”Leo looked at the book and smiled, almost sadly. “Reminders of home. And what I’m going back to when this is over.”“And who you’re going back to?” Jemma asked.“Sorry?”“Earlier, with the stubble…you mentioned there was a girl you liked. Is she still around in your time?” Jemma asked.Leo stared at her for a moment. “Yeah.”“…Do you miss her?”“Every second.”“…Oh god, I was supposed to be going to Bobbi’s! I’d better go. I, uh…after all of this it seems weird for me to just hurry off to get Bobbi ready for a date but…” Jemma began as she gathered up her things and put on her heels.“It’s alright. I’ve got some preparation to do anyway.” Leo nodded, glancing at the remaining countdowns mounted on the wall.“Thank you…for saving my life that time. And for all of this. I don’t know everything you’re doing but I can tell it’s important.” Jemma said. “And thank you for trusting me with this.”“Thank you. There’s no one I trust more.” Leo smiled.Jemma felt her cheeks redden so headed for the exit. “It’s all very impressive, but I’d say the lighting could be more…subtle.”Leo grinned. “Noted.”“I, uh…I’ll guess I’ll see you soon, then.” Jemma said, feeling slightly shy for some reason she couldn’t explain.“You’ll see me tomorrow, technically.” Leo smirked.“…Oh yeah, Past Leo, right. My Leo. Not that you’re my Leo, I mean, we’re not…hell, you know we haven’t…”“Remember the days when it used to be me who talked like that?” Leo grinned.Jemma held back a smile. “…Shut up.”“Maybe one day.” Leo chuckled. “Be careful out there.”“Well if I’m ever in danger, the man in the mask can come and save me, can’t he? He’s a ninja, you know.” Jemma smiled and walked out looking very pleased with herself.“I’m not…” Leo shouted after her, giving up in the argument and laughing to himself. He looked around at the now empty room, and at the chair where just moments ago Jemma had been sat. It had been the first conversation he’d had in weeks.There was a time when he never talked to anybody. A time when he didn’t have friends. Now he was in a time when he couldn’t live without them. Now he was in a time where he didn’t truly belong.He picked up the leather-bound book from his desk and flipped through it with a sweet smile.…“THERE YOU ARE!” Daisy exclaimed as she opened the front door to Bobbi’s house. “Where the hell have you been? I left ages after you did!”“Something came up, sorry.” Jemma said, rushing into the house and up into Bobbi’s bedroom with Daisy close behind. “How’s it going?”Bobbi turned to face Jemma the instant she entered the room, holding up a dress in each hand. “Purple or green?”“Green.” Jemma shrugged.“But I like them both…” Bobbi sighed.“Then pick the one you prefer.” Daisy said.“But I like them both equally…”“Bobbi, seriously. You’ll get a chance to wear them both at some point, so just pick one.” Daisy grumbled.“Okay, fine. Green….green! But the purple shows off my legs better. Or does it?” Bobbi asked. Daisy snatched the purple dress from Bobbi’s grasp and tore a strap off.“Oops. Guess it’s gotta be green.” Daisy shrugged.“DAISY, WHAT THE HELL?!” Bobbi shouted.“I’m making sure you’re ready before the sun comes up and a new day dawns, calm down. I’ll pay you back. How much was it?” Daisy asked, holding up the ripped dress.“Seventy five.” Bobbi groaned.“…Yeah, I won’t be paying you back.” Daisy said.“I, uh, I just need to make a quick phone call. Be right back. You look stunning, Bobbi!” Jemma said, quickly walking out of the room and shutting the door behind her.“What is up with her tonight?” Bobbi wondered. “Is it a guy?”“No way, she’d tell us if it was a guy. Right?” Daisy speculated. “If it is, he’ll need to survive my thorough inspection to make sure he’s good enough. I’ll mess with his head.”“I believe you. You don’t even need powers to make a mess, as it turns out.” Bobbi complained as she stared at her ripped dress and set about putting on the green one.Outside, Jemma got out her phone and dialled.“…Hello?” A voice asked on the other end.“Sorry, me again.” Jemma said timidly.“Oh, hey. Sorry about before. You didn’t tell anyone that we’re helping Lance get ready did you?” Leo said.“Well, you didn’t exactly say that’s what you were doing…but thanks for the confirmation.” Jemma smirked.“Oh bloody hell!”“It’s okay, don’t worry. It’s obvious Lance would get you guys to help him anyway. We’re here with Bobbi and if someone who looks likes Bobbi Morse thinks she needs help to look hot than Lance definitely does.” Jemma chuckled.“Good point.” Leo laughed. “Everything alright?”“Oh, yeah, uh…I was just wondering how things were going, really.”“Not too bad, I think.” Leo said.“OW! NO, IT DOESN’T GO IN THAT WAY!” Jemma heard Lance shout in the background.“What was that?” Jemma asked with a smirk.“Either Lincoln and Lance are useless at tying ties or they’re doing something I don’t want to walk in on.” Leo joked and Jemma laughed. “I didn’t even want to come, to be honest. Not that I didn’t want to help, it’s just I knew I wouldn’t be helpful in any way. This isn’t my forte.”“I feel exactly the same way, don’t worry.” Jemma said. “And hey, you’re useful…who knows what you’ll do one day?”“That’s very nice of you to say, but right now I don’t think I’m the expert in style and fashion and, as Lance said, ‘looking foxy’.” Leo sighed.Jemma giggled. “Don’t be so hard on yourself, you’re a handsome guy.”“…You think?”“…Well, uh…yeah. I like your style, and there will be plenty of girls who will too. I mean, maybe…maybe you could try sporting some stubble? I don’t know, maybe. It…it might suit you. Who knows?” Jemma blabbed.“…Really? I, uh, I guess I could give it a go.” Leo said.Jemma didn’t know how she knew, but she could tell Leo was smiling. She also didn’t know why she felt the need to call him and compliment him quite as much as she had been. “Any tips to throw my way?”Leo laughed. “Sorry, I’m not much of an expert. I find it hard enough to hold a conversation with a beautiful girl like you, more like offer them beauty advice….um, uh, I mean, not that I’m saying, uh…”Silence for a while until Leo spoke again.“…Oh dear, I, uh, I think Lance just died again probably he’s making a habit of it okay bye.”Leo hung up suddenly, leaving Jemma with a confused smile on her face. She didn’t know what the smile was for. She walked back into Bobbi’s bedroom and saw Bobbi fully made up for her date.“Wow. You look beautiful!” Jemma grinned.“Thank you!” Bobbi smiled. “Still terrified though.”“You’ll be fine, it’s only Lance. I’m like ninety percent sure he’s much more afraid than you are.” Daisy said.“I’m one hundred percent sure.” Jemma smirked and the girls laughed.The time quickly passed and Daisy and Jemma hid in Bobbi’s bedroom, watching slyly from the window as Lance arrived to pick her up and take her to a restaurant. They chuckled at the pair’s awkward hug and kiss on the cheek, and laughed even more when Lance sped over a speed bump down the road and head-butted the windshield. Soon, the car disappeared from view.“So, do we wait for her to get back and get the gossip or head back and sleep?” Daisy yawned.“I think we both know the answer. I’m exhausted. We can get the gossip tomorrow.” Jemma said. “You’ll see me tomorrow, technically.” Leo smirked. The image of Leo left her head as quickly as it entered, but the fact that it was there at all kept Jemma up for most of the night. The Leo she had met that night had been so different from the one she knew and yet so much the same man.She could only wonder what she’d be like where he’d come from. What all her friends would be like one day. She hoped she’d dream about them.Yet she only ended up dreaming about him. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Well, that was shit.” Lance sighed as everyone headed out of the community centre after another long, boring day.“I know Coulson is more lenient with us now after everything, but he could at least think of better stuff for us to do that doesn’t involving anything that makes me gag.” Bobbi moaned.“Still, the day is ours now. What shall we do?” Lincoln asked.“Well I don’t know about you guys, but I have an appointment to get my tattoo touched up.” Daisy revealed.“I didn’t know you had a tattoo.” Leo noted.“Yeah, just the Chinese symbols for ‘faith’ on my shoulder blade. You guys could come along if you like? Then we could do something after. Maybe I could even get you a good deal on a tattoo on your own. Vince is the best tattooist I know by a mile.” Daisy explained.“How many tattooists do you know?” Lincoln wondered.“I got mixed in with a weird crowd in school. Long story.” Daisy shrugged off, turning to Bobbi and Lance with a smirk. “Maybe you two could get each other’s initials on your ankles or some soppy crap like that.”“One date, Daisy. One date.” Bobbi laughed as she held Lance’s hand.“Yeah, let’s take it easy, Johnson. I wouldn’t even consider it until the third date at least.” Lance joked.“Whatever. Coming or not?” Daisy asked.“I’d actually be quite interested in seeing a tattoo being applied up close.” Leo said.“Nerdiest way of saying ‘let’s go to a tattoo parlour’ ever, but I’ll take it.” Daisy smiled. “Anyone else?”“I’m up for it. Might get a tattoo myself.” Lincoln smiled.“Oh please do, I’d love to see you squeal.” Daisy laughed.“You could see that anytime you wanted.” Lincoln smirked.“Shut up.” Daisy chuckled, playfully knocking Lincoln with her shoulder.“Well I enjoy seeing my friends in pain as much as the next guy, what do you think?” Lance said, turning to Bobbi.“Can’t hurt. Well, can’t hurt me anyway.” Bobbi smiled.“Jemma?” Daisy said. Everyone turned to look at Jemma, who’d be oddly quiet all day.“Oh, sorry. I can’t. I, um, I have somewhere to be.” Jemma said.“Oh, really? Where?” Bobbi wondered.“Just…some family thing.” Jemma said. “I really should get going, actually. See you all tomorrow!” Jemma shouted and hurried off, quickly glancing at Leo as she went.“I feel like we just got ditched.” Lance noted.“She did seem a bit off when she called me a few days ago.” Leo said. “Both times.”“She called you? We thought it was a secret boyfriend or something.” Daisy grinned at Bobbi.“Sorry for the disappointment.” Leo rolled his eyes.“She’d be lucky to have you, Fitz.” Daisy smiled, squeezing Leo’s shoulders. “It’s her loss. Let’s get going.”…Jemma rushed down the stairs to the abandoned pub cellar and into the bright white room. Everything was just as she’d remembered it when she’d left it there before, from the bed to the desk to the curtains to the lights. The only change was the countdowns that were still ticking, now all closer to reaching zero. One only had ten minutes left to go.“Hi.”Jemma jumped at the sound of Leo’s voice, turning to see him stood at the end of the room where a smaller corridor headed off into a tiny space.“What’s in there?” Jemma asked, pointing to the direction where Leo, the future Leo, had come from.“The generator running this place. It’s been on a blink so I’m working on patching it up.” Leo revealed. Jemma noted he was dressed as he had been before, completely in the black costume of the man in the mask but without the mask itself, which lay on the desk. She also noticed the leather-bound book had been moved and was now open on the desk.“Sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude. Didn’t realise you have somewhere to be.” Jemma said, looking at the countdown which now had nine minutes left.“No problem, I’m glad to see you.” Leo smiled. “I don’t have to leave for another few minutes anyway. I’ll be right back though, if you want to stick around?”“…Really?” Jemma said, surprisingly happy.“Yeah. Just promise not to look at the books.” Leo said.“Cross my heart.” Jemma nodded.“Good.” Leo grinned, picking the mask off the desk and sitting on the end of the bed examining it. Jemma watched him intently then timidly took a few steps towards him.“…So, um…you, past you, I mean…you said I was beautiful a few days ago. O-on the phone.”“I remember.” Leo said, looking at her. She found herself unable to keep eye contact with him. “You said I was handsome. And said I could try sporting some stubble, as I recall.”“…Yeah. But would I have said that if I hadn’t have met you?” Jemma wondered.“Maybe, maybe not. But you believed what you said, right?” Leo asked.“Yeah.”“Then that’s all that matters.”“So, does he…do you…take my advice?”“Can’t say.” Leo smiled.“Oh, thanks.” Jemma sighed.“Is it important if I do?” Leo asked.“Well, of course it is.”“Why?”“Because…you know why. You said you grew it for…for the girl you liked. Like. The one you miss.” Jemma said shyly.“I did.”“…So?” Jemma wondered.“So…what?”“You know what I’m asking.”“You’re asking if you’re the girl. If we’re together where I’m from.” Leo said.“…And?” Jemma asked, her heart beating out of her chest.“…Would you want to be the girl?” Leo posed.“What? God, no. Course not. That’s not how I…I don’t feel that way about…you. Or h-him.”“Then why are you asking?”“I…I don’t know, maybe I…I don’t know.” Jemma sighed. “It’s confusing.”Leo looked at the countdown. “I have to go. I’ll be right back.”“You were never going to give me a straight answer anyway, were you?” Jemma asked.“It doesn’t sound like you even know if you wanted an answer yourself.” Leo smirked.Jemma smiled. “You’re a bit cheeky in the future, aren’t you?”“Aren’t we all? As a friend once told me, all the best relationship are built on banter.” Leo grinned, sliding on the mask and rushing up the stairs and out of view.Jemma watched him go then made her way slowly to the edge of the bed, sitting exactly where Leo had just been. Her head was flooded with confused thoughts. It wasn’t even the time travel part that confused her anymore, but the time traveller. How long had Leo Fitz been so confusing to her? She thought she knew where she stood with him, but then he showed her she barely knew anything at all.She felt the warmth of where he’d been beneath where she sat. She found it comforting and smiled.…“Okay, so maybe not tattoos, but you two could easily get matching bracelets. Or two necklaces that join together to form one heart.” Lincoln teased Bobbi and Lance as the group headed down the street the tattoo parlour was located on.“Actually, I might get a tattoo after all. ‘Fuck off Lincoln’ on my forehead.” Lance joked.“I’d pay to see that.” Daisy grinned.“I wouldn’t. You’d find yourself dumped faster than the speed of light.” Bobbi smirked.“And then you’d realise that it doesn’t really matter because it’s what inside a person that counts. And I know a thing or two about putting something inside a person.” Lance chuckled.“I’m gonna pretend you didn’t just say that.” Bobbi laughed.“Rank.” Daisy said.“You’re disgusting.” Leo shook his head, smiling nevertheless.“It’s all good banter, Fitz.” Lance smirked, wrapping an arm around Leo as they headed into the parlour. “All the best relationships are built on banter.”“There’s banter and then there’s whatever the hell you just said.” Lincoln grinned.“There’s my favourite girl!” Vince grinned as Daisy ran up and hugged him. Vince was in his late twenties, dressed a white vest, jeans and a red bandana wrapped around his head. Most of the skin from his balding head to where his size-too-small jeans cut off was covered in ink. “Ready for the touch up.”“You bet. Maybe we could add a background to it while I’m here?” Daisy suggested.“Whatever you like, my dove.” Vince grinned, guiding Daisy onto a flat table further into the shop. He turned back to look at the others all stood there, completely out of their comfort zones. “These your friends?”“Yep. They came to watch. Fitz, you can come closer if you want. You said you wanted to see this up close.” Daisy said.“Yeah, I think I’ve just discovered I have a phobia of needles.” Leo said, growing pale as he watched Vince prepare some equipment. “I need some air.”He hurried out, Bobbi and Lance smiling as he went. Lincoln had become interested in the various pictures of tattoos on the wall. “Look at this one. A skull made up of flowers. What kind of dick gets that put on their skin forever?”“Me.” Vince snapped, glaring at Lincoln. “On my lower back. It shows that death is beautiful.”“Oh, well that’s…morbid.” Lincoln said. Daisy glared at him as a way of telling him to shut up.“Enough chat. I’ve got things to do.” Daisy said, removing her jacket and pulling her black tank top off over her head, throwing it aside. “Vince, do your thing.”Daisy lay face down on the table, Vince sitting down by her shoulder where her tattoo could be seen. Vince chuckled, placing one of his hands on Daisy’s lower back. “I always do, babe.”Bobbi, Lance and Lincoln all looked startled as Vince’s hand moved up and down Daisy’s back while she nervously laughed.“Hey, buddy.” Lincoln said, walking closer. “Her tattoo’s on her shoulder, if you hadn’t noticed.”“Lincoln…” Daisy said.“I know what I’m doing, mate.” Vince said.“Yeah, we all know what you’re doing. That’s the problem.” Lincoln said angrily.Vince stood up. “It wouldn’t be very smart to pick a fight with me, buddy.”“Not very smart, huh? I can be a real bright spark when I need to be, I can assure you.” Lincoln spat.“…Daisy, I think you should come back another time. Alone. I can’t concentrate with all your mates here.” Vince said blankly, not taking his eyes off Lincoln as Daisy sat up and put her clothes back on.“…Fine.” Daisy groaned, getting up and hurrying past Lincoln. “Thanks a lot.”“See you soon, sweetheart.” Vince called out after her, walking up to Lincoln. “So nice to meet some of your friends.”Vince put a firm hand on Lincoln’s shoulder. Lincoln stepped back with a short cry of pain, shrugging it off and storming out with Bobbi and Lance in tow.…Leo was sat on a bench breathing in the cool air, waiting for Daisy and the others to finish in the parlour. He sighed, wondering if he’d ever stop finding things to be scared of. It just made him feel even weaker and worse about himself than he already did.Still, it wasn’t all bad. Jemma had said he was handsome a few days ago. He smiled.The smile dropped when he clocked a figure standing on the roof of the building in front of him. The man in the mask.“Hey!” Leo shouted out after him, running up to the bottom of the building. His heart stopped when the man in the mask seemed to pull something out of his jacket and throw it at him.Leo closed his eyes but still managed to catch the object. He opened his eyes and was bewildered to see it was a packet of peanuts.“What the hell?” He whispered and looked up. The man in the mask was gone.Suddenly, Leo heard some shouting getting louder and closer. He stepped back a bit and saw Daisy and the others heading towards him.“I can take a bit of weird rubbing for cheap tattoos, Lincoln! You shouldn’t have done that, I can handle myself!” Daisy exclaimed angrily.“I wasn’t just gonna let him feel you up like that, the guy’s a creep!” Lincoln shouted.“You didn’t even hear what was running through his head.” Bobbi said. “I nearly thumped the prick.”“Why the hell did I even invite you guys? I knew you’d be like this.” Daisy groaned.“Yeah, we suck for actually having respect for you.” Lincoln rolled his eyes.“Screw you, Campbell.” Daisy snapped, storming off. Lincoln watched her go angrily, rubbing his shoulder furiously.“You alright there?” Lance asked him.“Yeah, fine. I’ll see you guys later.” Lincoln said, hurrying off himself.“Well, so much for hanging out then.” Lance said.“What did I miss?” Leo asked.“Vince is a creep, Lincoln stood up for Daisy. Daisy’s pissed at Lincoln for destroying her chance to get cheap tattoos and Lincoln’s pissed that Daisy’s pissed.” Bobbi explained. “You got lucky, getting out of there when you did. Escaped all the drama.”“Not all of it.” Leo said, holding up the bag of peanuts. “The man in the mask appeared and gave me this.”“Peanuts? I’d rather have a packet of crisps but that was awfully nice of him.” Lance said.“Why would he give you some peanuts?” Bobbi wondered.“Exactly my question.” Leo said. “Everything’s he’s done before has had a purpose…maybe I’ll figure it out later.”Leo put the peanuts into his pocket as he walked off with Bobbi and Lance, hoping Daisy and Lincoln would be okay on their own.…Jemma watched the countdown reach zero then sat in silence. Less than ten minutes later she found herself getting nervous when she heard footsteps coming down the stairs as Leo walked into the room and discarded the mask.“So, how long was I gone?” Leo asked with a smile.“…Why would I count something like that?” Jemma asked.“Because that’s the sort of thing you do to pass the time.” Leo replied.Jemma was silent for a moment. “…Thirteen minutes, forty-seven seconds.”Leo chuckled. “You sure about that?”“Of course I am.”“Awesome. New record.” Leo grinned. “I’ve been practicing getting there and back. Needed to know if anything could have potentially slowed me down.”“And I assume all went well?”“Of course.” Leo smiled. “Had to go give my past self some peanuts.”“Peanuts? Why?”“I work it out, don’t worry.” Leo said, placing the mask on the desk and taking off his jacket. Jemma’s eyes widened as he continued undressing, pulling his shirt over his head and letting it fall to the floor.Jemma couldn’t help herself and let her eyes wander. She was glad she did. I guess to do all the acrobatics it makes sense that he’s more…athletically built…in the future. Leo looked over to her and suddenly stopped. “Shit. Sorry, I…I’m used to not have to worrying about company.”He reached down for his shirt. Jemma stood up. “NO. Uh, no, it’s fine. It’s your home, after all.”For a moment she wished she was Bobbi so she could know what he was thinking. She was sure that he let out a smile for a moment there.“I’m just gonna have a quick shower.” Leo declared.“Okay.” Jemma nodded. Leo made his way into the curtained area of the room and before too long Jemma heard the sound of running water. She tried not to laugh as black trousers, boots and socks came flying over the curtain and onto the floor like something out of a comedy movie.Any trace of laughter died the second a pair of boxers landed onto the pile.Jemma could feel her face get hotter and redder. It was ridiculous. It’s not like she hadn’t seen boxers before. They were all over the place in clothes shops, after all.She’d always been extremely careful not to find her father’s briefs lying around. The only other time she’d really seen them was when she spent the night with her ex for the first (and last) time. She didn’t want to think about that prat.With every passing second she became more and more aware that this future version of her friend was showering naked just a few metres away from her. That chest. Drenched with steaming hot water. Stop it! It’s LEO. But at the same time…it’s not. But did that make it okay? Probably not. Jemma felt more and more flustered and tried to think about something else. She got out her phone but she kept going back and looking at the clothes pile. The more she did, the more she thought about the man who wore those clothes. The man who she’d had the most interesting conversation of her life with. She hoped there’d be more conversations like them. There was something about talking to him…it was so easy. Not that it wasn’t easy to talk to the Leo she’d known for months, but this felt like a different man. The Leo she knew was sweet, kind, caring…and yes, handsome. And this Leo seemed to be all those things too, just with more hair on his chin, muscles and knowledge that she yearned to acquire. The stubble really does suit him, though. So what if she’s attracted to him? She has the ability to recognise good looking men. Hell, Lance and Lincoln are good looking men. Why does it feel so strange that she finds Leo to be good looking too? Maybe because of the girl this future Leo talked about?Unless she is that future girl.It hit Jemma quite suddenly after thinking for so long. She hoped she was that girl. She wanted to be that girl. Maybe it could justify her fantasising about him like she was if she knew that he spent every second he’d been here fantasising about her too?Leo pulled open the curtain and walked out with towels around his waist and neck, causing Jemma to feel an intense heat she needed to get rid of.“I, uh, I have to go.” She stated.“Oh…okay.” Leo said, puzzled.“Family thing. I’ll, um, I’ll see you soon, I’m sure. Be it with the mask on or not.” Jemma said, unable to look Leo in the eye.Leo smiled slightly. “Yeah.”“Bye.” Jemma said, quickly making her way out. Leo watched her go and his smile became a grin.…“Hello? Jemma?” Daisy shouted as she entered Jemma’s house. She was met with silence - maybe Jemma really did have a family thing? Part of her wanted to be on her own anyway; fighting with Lincoln had bummed her out.They’d always gotten along so well, had the same sense of humour, and she always found someone she could just have a great time with in him. He was the last person in the group she’d ever expected to fall out with. Even walking around nowhere in particular for a little while hadn’t helped clear her head. Maybe she was overreacting? Vince was being a creep, after all.She made her way upstairs and walked into her bedroom, only to stop dead at the sight in front of her. Nearly every free space available in her room had been filled with flowers – more specifically, filled with daisies.“What the…?” Daisy whispered.“You’re back!” A voice exclaimed happily from the corner of the room.Daisy jumped and turned to see Lincoln sat on the floor, getting up at the sight of her stood there. “Lincoln?! What the HELL is this?”“Do you like them?” Lincoln asked, a beaming smile on his face that was borderline scary.“How did you…? Just…what?” Daisy mumbled.“I thought you might like some flowers. Do you?” Lincoln smiled.Daisy’s eyes widened. “…Did you break into Jemma’s house to do this?”“Yeah.” Lincoln nodded.“Are you high?” Daisy asked.Lincoln laughed as he stared directly at her with a smile. “Of course not. You’re adorable when you’re mean.”“Where did you get all these?” Daisy asked.“I bought them.”“But there must be hundreds of them! How much did this all cost?”“Quite a lot. Had to go to six different florists. Worth it.” Lincoln beamed.“What the hell is up with you? Is this, like, some sort of apology?” Daisy wondered.Lincoln grinned. “So much more than that. My eyes have been opened today. I’ve truly seen you for the first time.”With that, Lincoln pulled his shirt off over his head and threw it across the room, revealing his chiselled body.“What the…hell are you doing?” Daisy said, pretending she didn’t take a peek before she covered her eyes.“I’m seducing you.” Lincoln smiled, stepping closer to Daisy.“What…where…why?...”“Because everything’s so clear now! It’s obvious. I’m in love with you, obviously.” Lincoln grinned.Daisy lowered her hands. “…You’re what?”Lincoln walked right up to Daisy, leaving barely an inch between them as he gently moved a stray strand of hair out of Daisy’s eye and cupped her cheek in his hand. “I love you. Everything about you is just…so perfect. We’ve always gotten on so well, haven’t we? I’ve never bonded with a girl so easily before…it’s love, I know it.”“…Did you hit your head at some point in the last hour or so?” Daisy asked, unable to take her eyes away from Lincoln’s. The way he was looking at her, it was like…like he meant every word of what he was saying. But he couldn’t, could he?“The only thing that’s hit me today is love.” Lincoln smiled.“…Lincoln, I…” Daisy stuttered.“Words are difficult. Let me just show you.” Lincoln whispered as he drew Daisy closer and kissed her passionately.Daisy couldn’t control it as she melted into the kiss, placing a hand on the back of Lincoln’s head as the other ran down his chest. Ironic as it was considering who it was she was kissing, but it was electric. She ended up being the one to deepen the kiss, wrapping her arms around Lincoln’s neck as he muscular arms wrapped around her. She felt the weight leave her legs as he picked her up and stepped forwards until they fell onto the bed.Lincoln’s lips moved away from hers and kissed a line down her neck as she felt a shiver run down her entire body, holding his head in place to ensure he didn’t stop. Stop. We should stop. What are we doing? “Wait, what are we doing?” Daisy said, sitting up and pushing Lincoln off of her. “This is insane! We were just…this is too fast. You’re not…you’re not okay!”“I’ve never been more okay!” Lincoln said. “How did I ever get by without knowing what love truly is?”“What is WRONG with you? And me for letting that even happen?! I…this is crazy. Now put your shirt back on!” Daisy said (rather reluctantly).“Of course!” Lincoln nodded. “We can take it slow. We should get dinner! What do you like?”“What on earth…?” Daisy whispered to herself as Lincoln got off the bed and walked over to his shirt, bending down to pick it up. “Stop! Stand up!”“I love it when you give orders.” Lincoln grinned as he stood up.“What the hell is that? When did you get a tattoo?” Daisy asked.“I don’t have one. Should I get one of you?” Lincoln asked. “If you want me to I will.”“Then how do you explain that?” Daisy wondered, dragging Lincoln across the room towards a mirror and turning him around facing away from it. Lincoln turned his head to look, and saw clear as day a tattoo of a love heart on his right shoulder with ‘DAISY’ written in the middle.“I love it.” Lincoln nodded firmly.“You love everything today!” Daisy shouted. “When did you get that?”“No idea, but I’m glad I have it. Don’t you love it?” Lincoln asked with a smile.“Okay, you suddenly have a tattoo of my name in a love heart and then start acting all lovey-dovey with me. This has done something to you! But how could you…Vince. Son of a bitch! You, shirt on. Now. I’m calling the others and getting this fixed.” Daisy ordered, getting out her phone and dialling the group.“I love your passion so much.” Lincoln beamed.“Shut up.”…“Do you ever think we’ll have a normal day again?” Lance asked as the group all stormed towards the tattoo parlour as he helped Leo restrain Lincoln to keep him from trying to get as close to Daisy as he could.“I very much doubt it.” Bobbi sighed.“VINCE! OPEN THIS DOOR!” Daisy shouted as they reached the parlour and found the door locked.Vince hurried into the main part of the parlour from another room and smiled as he saw the group stood there. “We’re closed.”“We know what you did to our friend, you son of a bitch!” Lance exclaimed.“That weird storm not too long ago…you got caught in it, didn’t you? It gave you powers. You can do weird tattoo crap now.” Daisy said.Vince smiled. “We’re closed.”“…Okay then.” Daisy said, clicking her knuckles and sending a shockwave at the door; glass smashed as the door broke apart and flew into the shop, sending Vince flying back in shock.“…So we’re both freaks. I knew we had a connection.” Vince smirked.“Ugh, this isn’t worth cheap tattoos. Take that tattoo of Lincoln, now.” Daisy demanded.“He thought I was a creep, he deserved to become even worse than that.” Vince shrugged.“I love her with all my heart!” Lincoln exclaimed.“Can’t we just knock him out?” Leo asked.“Look, you’ve had your fun. Just take the tattoo off and we’ll go.” Jemma suggested.“You think I’m taking it off that prick after you just destroyed half my parlour?” Vince said.“Guess I’ll have to wreck the other half.” Daisy grimaced.“Oh Daisy, you really were one of my favourites. Such a shame. I prefer the subtle approach so as to not draw attention but I guess the jig is up already.” Vince smirked, pointing at Daisy with force.Daisy cried out in pain and fell to the floor. Lincoln tried to run for her but the others held him back as Bobbi rushed over to her. Daisy pulled up her top to reveal blood pouring out of her side. Beneath it, there was now a tattoo of a knife.“Undo this, NOW! She’s gonna bleed out!” Bobbi pleaded.“Son of a bitch!” Lance angrily shouted, letting go of Lincoln and running for Vince. Vince smirked as he pointed at Lance, who fell to the ground clutching at his neck, his face growing red as a tattoo of tight chains appeared around his throat.“Stop this!” Jemma begged as Lincoln got free of Leo’s grip and rushed over to Daisy, who grew weaker by the second.Vince turned to Leo, the only one left stood on his own as the others struggled to comfort Daisy and Lance. “And what are you gonna do? You’re scared of needles as it is, you wuss.”“Oi, leave him alone!” Jemma spat passionately, surprising everyone in the room.“Just…take the tattoos off of them. Please.” Leo said.Vince laughed. “The answer’s no. You’re all more trouble than you’re worth.”“Take them off…or I open these.” Leo said, stepping forward and pulling out the pack of peanuts from his pocket.Vince’s face dropped. “…Are those…?”“That’s right. Peanuts, arsehole.” Leo stated.“Okay…I’m…fucking….confused…” Lance struggled to say.“The man in the mask, whoever he is, he seems to know what’s going to happen to us. Therefore he knows what we need, right? If he can’t just directly act himself he’s given us something we can use, like the note about Lance. And the only way I can see us needing peanuts in this situation is if this bastard has quite the allergy to them.” Leo explained, tearing the packet open.“Be careful with those.” Vince warned. “I’m warning you.”“Any sudden movements and I’ll throw them. I’d imagine even so much as contact with your skin would be quite uncomfortable, right?” Leo wondered.“You’re right, Fitz.” Bobbi smiled. “I can hear him. He’s had quite the horrific allergic reaction before now.”“W-What?” Vince asked.“I can read thoughts, bitch.” Bobbi said.“Now take the tattoos off, close your business and leave the city and we won’t have any more issues.” Leo said firmly.“…Son of a b-” Vince exclaimed, raising his arm.Leo threw the packet into the air, sending peanuts all over the place. Vince looked around in the confusion, facing Leo again just as one fell into his open mouth. Almost instantly, his tongue began to swell up and he struggled to breath.“My…injections…I…need…them. My…rucksack…” Vince choked.Leo knelt over where Vince had collapsed to the floor. “You can have them…just take off the tattoos. Now.”Vince stared at Leo for a moment. Leo didn’t break his gaze.Vince waved his hand and all at once Daisy and Lance’s tattoos disappeared and they sat up, breathing heavily. Lincoln cried out in pain and put his hand to his shoulder, lowering his shirt to reveal the tattoo had gone.“My…injections…” Vince mumbled.Leo walked out the back and soon returned with the needle Vince required, placing it on the floor on the opposite end of the parlour. “There you are.”“You…bastard…” Vince groaned as he began crawling across the floor.“I couldn’t bear holding them for too long, I hate needles.” Leo smirked. “See you in hell, arsehole.”The group all rushed out of the parlour and ran until Vince’s shouts became faint.“Okay, maybe it’s because I’m a little lightheaded but…Fitz, that was one of the most badass things I’ve ever seen. I mean, as badass as you can be when your weapon is a packet of fucking peanuts.” Lance sighed as Bobbi hugged him.“I can’t really take any credit…whoever the man in the mask is…he’s the hero.” Leo shrugged.“No.” Jemma smiled, squeezing Leo’s hand. “You’re the hero.”Leo smiled at her shyly. Jemma found herself only looking away from him when she absolutely had to for the whole walk to the diner where they’d all decided to go for dinner. She could already see the man she’d been thinking about non-stop for the last few days emerging in him.…Daisy walked out of the bathroom of the diner and looked over at her friends all laughing together at the table. Bobbi and Lance could barely keep their hands off each other, Leo was being rather talkative (which made her so happy to see) while Jemma was looking out the window in silence. She’d been oddly distant over the last few days. There was, however, someone missing.“Hey.”Daisy turned around to see Lincoln stood there, having just exited the men’s bathroom.“Hey.” She smiled as he stood with her watching the group.“…Quite the day, huh?” Lincoln chuckled.“It was certainly quite something.” Daisy nodded.“…Look, I’m really sorry. All that stuff with the flowers and…oh god, everything…I couldn’t control it, it was all -” Lincoln began.“It was the tattoo, it’s okay. It wasn’t your fault.” Daisy said. “We’re good.”“About everything?” Lincoln asked.“Yeah. You were absolutely right to stand up to Vince before. I was an idiot for letting him be so creepy just for some ink.” Daisy smiled.“I just…I have too much respect for you, that’s all.” Lincoln said.“It’s nice to finally have people around me who care.” Daisy grinned, looking at the group again.“We’re quite the bunch, huh?” Lincoln laughed.“To put it lightly.” Daisy agreed.“So, we’re really okay?” Lincoln asked.“Of course. All of that, it…it was just heat of the moment. You couldn’t control it.” Daisy clarified.“…And what about you?” Lincoln posed nervously.“What about me?” Daisy questioned.“Well, it’s just…you know…you didn’t have a tattoo with my name on it and you…that was quite the kiss. And then some. I mean, we nearly -”“-Like I said, heat of the moment. That’s all.” Daisy stated, unable to look Lincoln in the eye.“…Right. Of course.” Lincoln nodded. “Still, on the plus side…your bedroom smells lovely.”Daisy looked at him. He looked at her. They both burst out laughing.“How much did all that cost?” Daisy laughed.“I don’t want to think about it.” Lincoln chuckled.“Well, I mean…daisies…it was very sweet. Even if it was down to the whole tattoo thing. You had a lucky escape, don’t worry. It doesn’t tend to end well for guys who actually are in love with me.” Daisy sighed. “It’s pretty hard to love me.”“…It came pretty naturally to me.” Lincoln said, staring into her eyes. She met his gaze for a moment, tried to find something to say, and failed.Lincoln looked down briefly before heading off and sitting back at the table. Daisy watched him for a moment then followed.…“Goodnight, Daisy.” Jemma smiled, popping her head into Daisy’s room that night.“Jemma, wait!” Daisy called out. “Are…are you okay? You’ve been kinda distant these last few days.”“…Yeah, I’m fine. Just a lot to think about. Our lives are pretty hectic now. Only two weeks left of community service and then who knows what…” Jemma said.“…Are you sure that’s all it is?” Daisy asked. Jemma was silent. I shouldn’t. I really shouldn’t. “…There’s a guy.” Jemma said suddenly.“So there is a guy! I knew it!” Daisy grinned. “Do I know him?”“Ye…no, you don’t. It’s quite a peculiar thing. It’s all happened quite suddenly but…I can’t really get him out of my mind and I don’t know if it’s just because I find him interesting or, you know…” Jemma began.“…If there are feelings there.” Daisy finished and Jemma nodded. “Well, is there an attraction?”“…Yes.” Jemma admitted.“Well that’s a start.” Daisy nodded.“It’s just…there’s such a risk with it. We’re kind of…well, we’re friends. And if something went wrong or I got the wrong end of the stick…it could ruin a great friendship. Is it too much of a risk?” Jemma asked.“Every relationship is a risk, Jemma. There’s a risk whether you’ve known the person for 10 years or 10 days. But if there’s even a hint of something there…maybe…maybe you should explore it. Even the slightest…spark.” Daisy grew quiet.“…You okay?” Jemma asked, raising an eyebrow.“Yeah. All good.”“Okay. Thank you. Goodnight.”“Goodnight.”Jemma closed the door and headed off to bed. Daisy fell back into her bed, her mind instantly going back to the last time she’d been lying on it. The feeling of Lincoln’s heat against her, his lips against her skin, her fingertips running along his chest…She waited until she was sure the household was asleep before sneaking out.…Lincoln wasn’t sure why Daisy had text him in the middle of the night to tell him she was at his front door, but his curiosity forced him out of bed. He put on a shirt and headed quietly downstairs to try not to wake the rest of the house.He carefully opened the door and noted the fear on Daisy’s face. “Everything okay?”Daisy stepped forward and pulled him into a kiss. It deepened as they backed up against a wall and let their tongues explore each other’s mouths. They only parted when they ran out of air.“…Am I crazy?” Daisy asked, breathing heavily.“Maybe.” Lincoln said, closing the front door and kissing her again. She wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist as he carried her upstairs and into his bedroom. She grabbed the end of his shirt and pulled it off of him as he took off her jacket and unbuttoned her nightgown. She pulled the nightgown off and discarded it as she kissed him again as they fell onto the bed. Lincoln rolled on top of her and began kissing her neck. Daisy moaned quietly as she turned off the bedside lamp and guided Lincoln’s hands to her back, where he undid her bra.Through the darkness, they found each other’s eyes and smiled. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Daisy and Lincoln woke suddenly to the sound of a car engine starting up. They sat up in bed in shock before Lincoln looked back out his window to watch the car pull off his driveway and drive away.“…My parents heading off to work.” Lincoln said in his hazy morning voice, slowly turning to face Daisy, who had pulled up the duvet to cover herself up. “…Morning.”“…Morning.” She replied quietly.Silence.“They, uh…you don’t think your parents heard us?” Daisy asked eventually.“If they had, we’d have known. Believe me.” Lincoln shuddered.Daisy let out a sigh of relief. “…I can’t believe we did that.”“And by ‘that’ you mean each other.” Lincoln smirked, flinching as Daisy kicked him under the covers. “Ow!”“It’s too early for your teasing.” Daisy said.“I mean, when we were still up at 1am you seemed to enjoy it a hell of a lot, and that’s pretty early.” Lincoln said with a grin.“Want me to hit you again?” Daisy asked with a hint of a smile.“I thought you were gonna full-on quake that second time round.” Lincoln teased, sitting up against the wall the bed was placed against.“…You think you were that good, huh?” Daisy retaliated, sitting against the wall herself.“Well, you were amazing so I kinda just figured…” Lincoln shrugged.“…I suppose you weren’t that bad.” Daisy smiled.“You’re killing me.” Lincoln groaned as Daisy laughed.“Get a grip, Campbell. If you weren’t as good as you were, do you really think there’d have been a round two?” Daisy blushed.Lincoln grinned. “I knew it was incredible.”“Get over yourself.” Daisy chuckled. “Part of me was hoping you’d be crap, just so I could finally find something physically wrong with you.”Lincoln laughed, getting out of bed and finding his boxers. “Sorry to disappoint. Well, to not disappoint, I guess. Can’t say the same for the last time I slept with a girl.”Daisy paused. “Do I want to know this story?”“Remember I told you guys how I discovered my powers the day of the storm, causing a blackout everywhere around here? It happened when I…you know…” Lincoln began awkwardly.Daisy smirked. “…squeezed the tube of toothpaste?”Lincoln’s face went red as he put on a fresh shirt and trousers while Daisy got up to find her clothes. “I’d have appreciated leaving a bit more to the imagination there.”“There’s no point leaving it to my imagination of all people after last night, is there?” Daisy grinned. “…How did you know it wouldn’t happen again?”“Well, I’ve got better control of them now. And, I don’t know…I guess I just felt really comfortable with you.” Lincoln said timidly.Daisy smiled. “…I’m kinda glad this happened.”“I’m very glad this happened. Made yesterday a hell of a lot less awkward.” Lincoln grinned. “So…is this gonna be, like…a thing? You and me?”“We’ll see.” Daisy teased with a grin as she pulled her phone out of her pocket and checked it. “Oh, crap. Five texts and three missed calls from Jemma; she must’ve found out I’m not there. Curse her getting up ridiculously early to go jogging. Freakin’ jogging!”“What are you gonna tell her?” Lincoln asked. “Do we tell anyone about this?”“…I’ve said before I’m not great at the whole relationship thing. I don’t know how it works most of the time, and if this grows into something, you know, something…then I’d rather we let that happen behind closed doors. At least for now.”“Agreed.” Lincoln nodded, unable to hold back a smile.…“Well, Daisy’s lying. Staying with her old roommates? She barely talks to them after everything that happened.” Jemma sighed as she read Daisy’s reply to her many texts and calls while sitting on the end of the future Leo’s bed.“You can hardly judge her for lying to you.” Leo smiled as he sat as his desk, flicking through his black notebook.“And whose fault is that?” Jemma smirked at him.“That would be mine.” Leo said and Jemma laughed.“Well, she might not be lying. But I imagine you already know if she is or not.” Jemma noted.“I do know, yes.” Leo teased. “You have no idea what she was up to. But you will soon enough.”Jemma chuckled, standing up. “You love teasing me like this, don’t you?”Leo put down the notebook and walked up to her. “I’m just enjoying knowing more than you for once.”“Did you just admit that I’m smarter than you?” Jemma grinned.Leo smiled. “Smarter than my past self, yeah.”“But I’ll catch up eventually.” Jemma teased.“We’ll see.” Leo smirked.“We will.” Jemma laughed, stepping even closer and leaving them inches apart.They stared into each other’s eyes in silence for a moment.“You’re staring at me.” Leo said.“No I’m not. You’re staring at me.” Jemma replied. “…I have to get to the community centre.”“You do. Don’t want to be late.” Leo nodded.“…Exactly. Do you have any plans today? Seeing a movie or something?” Jemma shrugged, trying not to sound too interested.“Are you asking me to one?” Leo grinned.“…What? No. Shut up.” Jemma said.“I was just kidding around.”“Well don’t.” Jemma snapped suddenly, taking Leo by surprise.“…I’m sorry if I’ve hit a nerve.”“You haven’t.” Jemma said, gathering her things. “I just…I don’t appreciate…this.”“As in all of this?” Leo asked, gesturing around the room. “Me?”“No, that’s not what I meant. I don’t regret meeting you at all. Both times. Present and future you. I can’t picture my life without Leo Fitz in it now, if I’m being honest.” Jemma said shyly.“Which one?” Leo wondered.Jemma was silent for a while. “…Just…Leo. You’re trying to confuse me.”“I’ve answered every questioned you’ve asked if I was able to. I’m not trying to confuse you at all.” Leo asked.“And yet you still do!” Jemma exclaimed, stepping closer to Leo again. “And I…I can’t work out why. Or how.”Leo just smiled as he stared at her in a way he hadn’t before. Jemma saw a flash of desperation in those beautiful blue eyes, almost as if he’d ached to look at her like that for some time. “…I think you have.”Jemma’s mouth went dry as she tried to form a sentence, her eyes fixated on Leo’s smiling face. It appeared as if suddenly something had clicked with him. She thought about her conversation with Daisy the night before, about the sleepless nights she’d spent thinking about him. So much was running through her head but at the very core of it all was her friend. Leo Fitz. Both versions of Leo that she knew had dominated her every breath and thought.She had to know.“…Am I the girl? Your girl, I mean? Not that I belong to you, I just mean…are we t-together? In the future? That girl you spoke about…I…” Jemma blushed as the words failed her. She sighed. “…What are you doing to me?”She looked at the floor and back up at Leo. She melted at the way he was looking at her now. She’d never known anyone to look at her like that before.“…You’re my girl.” Leo whispered with a smile.Jemma let out a sigh of relief she didn’t even know she was holding in. She could feel her hands shaking as she felt a shiver run through her body. She looked down at her hands and watched as she instinctively moved them closer to Leo’s, their fingers gently touching for a few moments before Jemma stepped back.“I…I really have to go.” She stated, heading for the door.“Jemma…”She hurried out and didn’t look back.…“You’re such a liar!” Bobbi laughed as she and Lance walked into the community centre and headed for the locker room.“It’s true! I swear on Fitz’s life!” Lance stated.“You really expect me to believe that? SIX times?” Bobbi questioned with a smirk.“Technically, six and a half.” Lance grinned.Bobbi chuckled. “You’re disgusting.”“Yes I am.” Lance smiled as Bobbi pulled him in for a kiss. “And you love it.”“Whatever you say.” Bobbi said as they walked into the locker room and stopped dead at the sight before them. “What the…?!”Lance sighed. “It’s disturbing that this kind of shit has stopped freaking me out, isn’t it?”…Jemma spotted Leo walking towards the community centre on the opposite side of the road from her as she turned into the complex. “Hiya!”Leo continued walking without any acknowledgment that he’d heard her. Before she knew it she was running towards him and practically jumped to his side, making him jump. She noticed he was wearing earphones.“Sorry, I…I shouted out but you couldn’t hear me. The music.” Jemma stuttered, pointing at Leo’s earphones as he took them out.“Oh, right. Yeah.” Leo said.“Didn’t mean to scare you.” Jemma smiled nervously, wondering why on Earth she was feeling so anxious around this Leo. She supposed they had been starting to blur into one person lately since this Leo started getting more confident.“It’s okay.” Leo smiled.“…Do you, um…do you want to walk in together or…? It’s okay if you’re embarrassed to be seen with me.” Jemma laughed unconvincingly.“I’d never be embarrassed to be seen with you.” Leo said.Jemma felt her cheeks flushing. This was getting ridiculous. It’s Leo.She thought back to her encounter with him not long ago. The future version, anyway. The way he’d looked at her…the shiver up her spine when their fingers had touched…the way she hadn’t been able to get him out of her mind for what had felt like years…That heat she’d felt between them…she’d felt it with the same boy she was stood next to right then and there. I’m his girl. One day he was going to look at her in a way that made her want to squeal. For now he was looking at her as if she was crazy, realising she’d been silent for quite some time by this point. “Sorry, I…shall we go then?” Jemma asked, flustered.“Okay.” Leo nodded and the two slowly started walking together.She felt nervous just walking next to him; the urge to just look at him and take him in was driving her insane. She wouldn’t be feeling like this if she’d never met his future self and she knew it. But at the same time…Bobbi and Lance were together now and Daisy and Lincoln always got along really well…maybe she and Leo were always destined to be partnered together within the group? Maybe this was inevitable?She wanted to ask him a million questions. To know him inside out. She was beyond interested in him and she knew for a fact that this Leo wasn’t even at the most interesting he’d be to her yet. This boy was driving her crazy.“I’m sorry if I’ve ever been a bitch to you.” Jemma said suddenly.“What?” Leo asked.“I didn’t really know you when I said I thought you were weird but…it was still a bitchy thing to do. So I’m just…I’m sorry if I’ve ever been a bitch.”“I’ve never thought you were a bitch.” Leo said curiously.“Oh. Right. I just thought you may have thought I was a bitch before we got to properly know each other.”“Shall we stop saying the word ‘bitch’ now?” Leo proposed with a small smile. Jemma looked at him and smiled herself as the two chuckled.“Okay.” Jemma nodded. Her face dropped when she saw a sparkle in his eye, a reminder of the way his future self had looked at her. Then she noticed a few stray hairs around his chin; he hadn’t shaved. She could feel her heartbeat increasing. He’s gonna remember having this conversation with me. Shit. I look like a proper fool. And he’s growing stubble. Does he…? Does he have feelings for me already? Did it happen this fast? Am I already his girl? Is he mine too? “Are you okay, Jemma? You’ve gone a bit pale.” Leo asked.“Yeah, I…I’m fine. Sorry.” Jemma said quickly as they reached the community centre and headed inside. Jemma walked a few paces ahead of Leo. Out of sight, out of mind. I’m just making a fool of myself in front of him. Best to keep my distance. They entered the locker room and stopped when they saw Bobbi and Lance staring at something on the floor. A bat. And not a wooden bat, a rodent bat. Small, black, winged and furry, lying on the floor.“I have a few questions.” Leo raised his hand.“You’ll have a few more any time now.” Bobbi said, fixated on the bat.Suddenly, the bat started to expand and grow paler as it morphed into an unconscious middle-aged man.“That’s a very naked man.” Jemma noted.“He’s been changing from a naked man into a bat and back again every minute or so since we got here.” Lance explained.“We think it got in through the vents.” Bobbi said, pointing at a vent near the ceiling that had been smashed open slightly. “In bat form, obviously.”“I suppose it’s safe to assume he got caught in the storm and has been changing into a bat ever since?” Jemma speculated.“Maybe.” Lance said. “Or…”“…A bat got caught in the storm and has been changing into a nude middle-aged man ever since.” Leo finished and Lance nodded.“I feel weird.” Bobbi said. “What should we do with him? Or…it?”“We don’t know what form is his proper one; maybe we have to wait it out and see if he settles?” Leo suggested.“I’m keeping my fingers crossed that we don’t have to end up moving a naked old dude out of here.” Lance said.“Where would we even put him?” Bobbi wondered.“Well let’s try and stay positive about it.” Jemma said. “I’ll go and see if Coulson is here yet.”“Shall I go with you?” Leo asked.“I’ll be fine.” Jemma said quickly, not looking back as she headed out.“Okay.” Leo said timidly as the door slammed shut behind Jemma. “Has Jemma been off with either of you lately?”“Not me.” Bobbi shook or head.“Me neither. Why?” Lance asked.“…Doesn’t matter.” Leo sighed. “…I, uh, I can’t help but notice he’s stayed as a naked middle-aged man.”“Buggar.” Lance cursed. “Shotgun carrying his arms if we have to move him.”“Should we wake him?” Bobbi wondered.“Oi, mate. How many have you had?” Lance said, lightly kicking the man’s side. “Oh god, he wobbled. Ew.”Bobbi leaned in closer to the man curiously. “Right, let’s just sit him up somewhere at the very least and try and piece together what’s happened and what to do -”Suddenly, the man sit up and let out a piercing scream, revealing two large fans sticking out of his mouth. Bobbi screamed and fell back while Lance instinctively jumped in front of her and wrestled the man to the ground. In a flash, the man’s teeth sank into Lance’s neck.“LANCE!” Bobbi wailed.Leo struggled as he picked up a bench and threw it at the man, throwing him to the floor. He screamed again and rushed out of the room, shrinking down into a bat as it flew out.“Bloody hell!” Leo shouted. He turned to see Bobbi cradling a pale Lance in her arms.“It drained a lot of blood. He’s…it k-killed him.” She said tearfully.“Like a vampire.” Leo said, crouching next to them. “It’ll be fine. We know he’ll come back.”“Do we?” Bobbi panicked. “What if his power was to bring him back once?”“You honestly think he wouldn’t fight tooth and claw to come back and piss us all off?” Leo asked.“He’s got a point.” Lance groaned as he slowly sat up, making Bobbi and Leo jump. “Did I seriously get murdered by a naked vampire man? That’s embarrassing.”Bobbi smiled as she pulled Lance close and kissed him passionately.“We need to get after the fucker.” Lance said, trying to stand but failing.“You’re back, but you still don’t have a lot of blood yet. You need to rest.” Bobbi said caringly.“We need to warn Lincoln, Daisy and…oh god, Jemma.” Leo’s eyes widened as he ran out of the room, turning invisible as he went.“Leo, wait!” Bobbi called out after him to no avail. “He’ll get himself killed!”“He’ll be fine, nude vampire man won’t see him coming. Literally.” Lance said.…Jemma had almost forgotten why she’d left the locker room in the first place as she wandered down corridor after corridor deep in thought. She felt an urge to run back to future Leo and ask him what they need to do. He could’ve warned her what was coming when she’d left that morning, at least.She smiled as a picture entered her head of everyone running around and panicking trying to catch the bat as it flew around the room. Bobbi, Daisy and Lincoln would probably do their best to try and capture it. Lance would probably use Leo as a human shield even though Leo would be doing his best to try and help the others while trying to stay as far from the bat as he could.She imagined the high pitched shriek he’d make if it got too close to him and laughed. She’d always thought he had a really sweet laugh, mainly because he didn’t laugh much at all in those first few weeks. He deserved to be laughing all the time.She wanted to hear his laugh again. Was it weird that she almost missed him even though it hadn’t been that long since she’d seen him?“Jemma!”She thought she’d imagined his voice until he appeared out of nowhere in front of her.“He woke up! He’s like a vampire thing, we don’t know where it-” Leo began, interrupted by a bat soaring through the air, morphing into the man and landing on him, screaming into his voice as his fangs loomed over him, dripping with Lance’s blood.“LEO!” Jemma shouted, running towards him as fast as she could go. She heard a slight pop and looked down to see a strap on her shoe has snapped off. She kicked off the broken shoe and kept running, reaching the man and kicking him with all she had. “Get off of him!”The vampire rolled backwards and stood back up, slowly walking towards Leo and Jemma as she helped him up. He instinctively stepped in front of her as the vampire continued its approached.“The man in the mask would be quite helpful right now.” Leo commented through his fear.Jemma looked at Leo and smiled slightly. The man in the mask was there, after all. She wasn’t sure why the thought suddenly made her feel better.The vampire jumped towards them with a screech. Leo and Jemma’s hand found the other’s as they closed their eyes.The cupboard door next to them burst open, making them open their eyes. Lincoln and Daisy stormed out, sending a shockwave and a lightning blast at the vampire simultaneously, sending it soaring backwards and crashing onto the floor, unmoving.Jemma and Leo brushed themselves off as Lincoln and Daisy joined them, the four all staring at the vampire as it reverted back into the form of a bat, still unmoving on the floor.“Is it dead?” Jemma asked.Suddenly, the bat popped in an explosion of blood and guts, smearing the floor with red.“I’m gonna say yes.” Daisy nodded.“Why are our lives so weird?” Lincoln asked.“Well, uh…thanks…I think.” Leo said, turning to Daisy and Lincoln.“Well we heard something going down so just went for it.” Daisy shrugged. “No biggie.”“What were you doing in the cupboard anyway?” Jemma asked.“Yeah, have you been here this whole time?” Leo added.Daisy and Lincoln shared a look.“We were hiding. For a prank. We were gonna scare whoever walked by first.” Daisy explained.“Right…” Jemma nodded with a smirk.“Thank god you hid in there, really. We’d have been vampire food otherwise.” Leo smiled.“So, did we all just collectively kill a man?” Jemma wondered.“Well, it…it did revert back to a bat and then exploded so…I think we should agree it was a bat.” Leo said. “Not that killing an animal is much of an alternative.”“It was a weird vampire thing, we killed a monster. We’re awesome. End of story.” Lincoln said.“I like that explanation of events.” Daisy nodded. “And since Lincoln and I were the ones who technically saved the day…you guys can clear it up, right?”“I…I mean, it…it was a team effort, I think.” Leo argued.“It’s not our fault we don’t have your powers.” Jemma stated.“Who can say if it is or not?” Daisy shrugged. “It’s a mysterious thing.”“Ugh, fine. You guys suck.” Leo sighed.“I’d rather suck in general than suck blood like that thing. Speaking of which, it won’t clean itself.” Lincoln smirked.…“How’s Lance doing?” Daisy asked that evening as she and Jemma sat watching Netflix in Jemma’s bedroom.“Feeling better now. Bobbi’s tending to his every need.” Jemma said.“I bet she is.” Daisy smiled, noting Jemma was smirking at her. “What?”“You didn’t sleep here last night and then we happen to catch you and Lincoln all cosy in a cupboard? It doesn’t take a genius to put it together.” Jemma noted.“Me and Lincoln? Please.” Daisy scoffed.“…Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.” Jemma smiled. Daisy met her gaze and smiled sweetly.“It’s very new, okay?” Daisy grinned.“I think it’s sweet.”“And hey, you mention this mystery man to me and then we come out of a cupboard to see you and Fitz all cosy and holding hands? It doesn’t take a genius to put it together.”“No, no, we’re…it’s not like that. Honestly. We thought we were done for.” Jemma stated.“…We’ll see.” Daisy said as a knock on the door sounded from downstairs, leading Jemma to rush down and answer the door, shocked to see Leo stood there.“Oh, hi.”“Hey.” Leo said nervously, handing Jemma a shoebox he was holding. “I, uh, got these for you. Some replacement shoes since you broke them saving my skin earlier.”“Leo, you didn’t have to do that.” Jemma smiled, opening the box to find a new pair of exact same shoes she’d lost earlier that day. “I can pay you back for them; I’d have bought replacements anyway.”“No, it’s fine, I uh…I hope this can help make up for whatever I’ve done to upset you.” Leo said.Jemma looked at him in confusion. “What do you mean?”“Well, I just…you’ve seemed a bit weird with me lately but not the others, like when we were walking in this morning…I just…I thought I’d upset you.”“No, of course you haven’t. I’m sorry, I…I guess I’ve been projecting some things onto you and that’s not fair. You’ve done nothing wrong. We’re fine, Fitz. We’re great.”She couldn’t help but find the way he smiled at her utterly adorable.“Really?” Leo asked.“Really.” Jemma nodded happily. “Thank you.”“…Okay, good. Um…I’ll…I’ll see you tomorrow then.” Leo nodded.“Yeah. See you tomorrow.” Jemma smiled and watched as Leo happily headed down the street and out of her sight. He was making her smile in a way she thought only his future self could do. Maybe it was just a smile for Leo Fitz in general.She had been unfair to push him away for reasons he had no idea about. After all, he wasn’t the Leo she had an issue with. And even then, it wasn’t so much of an issue as it was…something else.“Who was it?” Daisy shouted from the top of the stairs.“Leo bought me some replacement shoes.” Jemma shouted back.“What a gem.” Daisy said.“…Hey, fancy some ice cream for our Netflix marathon?” Jemma suggested.“YES! I love you!” Daisy shouted excitedly.“…I won’t be long.” Jemma said, heading out, her heart thumping loudly.…Future Leo was sat at the desk in his hideout when Jemma entered the room.“It’s still too bright in here.” Jemma said nervously as Leo turned to look at her with a smile.“I’ll see what I can do.”“Also…vampire bat man?” Jemma folded her arms and raised her eyebrows.Leo smirked. “And yet no sign of Robin.”Jemma chuckled. “You’re so nerdy.”“I am.”“A little warning would have been nice about the whole thing, though.” Jemma said.“I couldn’t risk things not turning out exactly how they did. I’m sorry.” Leo explained.“What had to happen?”“You had to have those moments with me. Otherwise it wouldn’t have triggered the thought process that brought you here.” Leo revealed.“And you know the inner workings of my mind?” Jemma questioned.“We have a lot of serious chats during Doctor Who binges, yeah.” Leo smiled. “You’re the instrumental thing that allowed me to go back in time and ensure all this happens smoothly.”“But why me?”“You know why. After this morning…” Leo trailed off. It was the first time he’d looked nervous in front of her.“…So…we’re, um…we’re…together…in the future?” Jemma asked tentatively.Leo smiled and blushed. “Yeah.”“How does that happen?”“I fall in love with you.” Leo said. “And you fall in love with me. And because we do…I become the man I am now. And if this version of me never met this version of you…we’d have never fallen for each other.”“…Stop it.”“What?”“Stop saying it like that. Like I…I don’t…” Jemma began but failed to finish. “I mean, you’re Leo. You’re my friend.”“Lots of relationships start as friendships.” Leo said.Jemma timidly walked closer to the desk. “…Is it good? You and…and me?”Leo grinned. “It’s amazing.”Jemma found herself smiling. “I just…I never really pictured myself in a proper relationship. I’d always liked the idea and I have tried but…I don’t think I’m very good at it.”Leo stood up and slid the leather bound book across the desk in front of Jemma. “Neither was I. But we work it out. Together.”He opened the book and Jemma soon realised it was a photo album. Her heart thumped at the sight of a picture of herself and Leo stood in front of the Hollywood sign, his arm around her as he looked coyly at the camera. Jemma teared up as she looked at her face in the photo; a wide, beaming smile.“I’ve never seen myself look so happy.” She choked. “We go away together?”“We all went there together; Daisy took that photo. But we do go on a few getaways just the two of us. Just wait for the Seychelles trip.”“Don’t have much of a choice, do I?” Jemma smiled and Leo laughed. He noticed tears quickly streaming down Jemma’s face and took her hand.“Hey, it’s okay.”Jemma wiped her eyes with her sleeve. “Sorry, I just…all of us have been through hell and I…I wasn’t sure if it would ever be okay for us all. Happy. And if we’d stay friends after community service was over. But…I mean, look at me. Us. We’re all gonna be okay.”“There’s always good to balance the bad.” Leo nodded, slowly moving his hand towards Jemma’s face and wiping stray tears away with his thumb as his hand cupped her cheek.Jemma gazed into his eyes and smiled. “Your hands are warm.”“Yours are freezing.” Leo grinned and Jemma giggled.“Always.” Jemma said. “I’m sorry, it’s just so much to take in and so quickly.”“I know. I understand. There are dark days ahead, but there is always hope. Just remember that. And no matter what, just turn around and I’ll be at your side for the whole damn time. You’re kinda stuck with me, sorry.” Leo said.Jemma laughed again. “…I don’t think I mind that. I…I haven’t been able to get you out of my head.”Leo smiled, moving a stray hair out of Jemma’s eye. “I know the feeling.”They stared into each other’s eyes for a while, just smiling in sweet silence.“So…what happens now?” Jemma asked.“…You could go and get the ice cream you promised Daisy.” Leo smirked and Jemma laughed. “Or you could stay for a bit. What do you want to happen?”“…You’ve been confusing me for a while now. But I’ve finally had a clear thought about you for the first time.” Jemma smiled. “I know what I want to happen.”“…Okay.” Leo said, his eyes still deeply looking into hers.Jemma tentatively shuffled forward towards Leo, placing a hand gently on his chest and looking up at him with a smile. She leaned forward and sweetly pressed her lips against his before stepping back and allowing herself to breathe.Silence for a moment.They were drawn back together like magnets, their lips crashing together with more urgency and heat. She wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist as she deepened the kiss. He carried her across the room and onto the bed as he kissed down her neck. Her hands found the bottom of his shirt as she pulled it over his head and threw it across the room, kissing him again as her hands ran up and down his chest. His arms wrapped around her and pulled her even closer into him.Their lips parted and Leo took a breath. “Are you sure?”Jemma smiled as she ran her fingers through his hair. “Yeah. I mean, only if…do you think you can manage it?”He grinned. “I’ll do my best to power through.”She kissed his jawline as he tore off her jacket and unzipped her dress, peeling it off her body as she undid his belt. Their clothes almost seemed to detach from them with a natural ease. A desperation for their owners to be as close as they could ever be to each other.They fell back into the bed as Leo pulled the covers over them and kissed every inch of skin he could find as she moaned, holding him close to her and waiting for his lips to find hers again. When they did she wrapped her arms around his back and held him against her, an aching need inside of her to be close to him. Close to this promise of an amazing future.They breathed each other in as they lay together; staring into each other’s eyes as their lips teased kiss after kiss. They smiled as they became one, and just as Jemma’s future seemed bright, her present was even more so.
11295015	Full of Surprises	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "F/M", "Characters": "Leo Fitz, Skye \| Daisy Johnson, Jemma Simmons", "Fandom": "Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Mature", "author": "by theclaravoyant", "chapters": "2/2", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-25T00:00:00", "words": "3,286", "Additional Tags": "Polyamory, Open Relationship, Smut, shameless flirting, Fluff", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "Leo Fitz/Skye \| Daisy Johnson, Background Leo Fitz/Jemma Simmons, Leo Fitz/Jemma Simmons/Skye \| Daisy Johnson", "Series": null, "Collections": "Compersion Collection [Polyam FitzSkimmons]", "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	“Can I buy you a drink?”That was the start of it. Daisy raised her eyebrow a little. Fitz’s eyes were keen on her. He wasn’t offering the other agents, or patrons in the bar; wasn’t shouting them a round. He was intending to buy her a drink. Of course, they were the closest friends out of anyone else here, and maybe Fitz didn’t have the money to be splashing all over the place on alcohol, but something about the way he smiled to himself when she agreed made Daisy feel a little… something. He brought the drinks back – one for her, one for himself – and shoved the money into his pocket with one hand as he passed hers over. He seemed to be bouncing on his toes a little, full of energy. Daisy frowned a little. “Are you okay?”He frowned back, and pulled himself together. “Sure,” he said. “Fine.” And he went back to drinking his beer, casual and calm, if a little stuck for conversation. His eyes trailed up to the TV screen in the corner and he smiled again, another little hope tugging at his lips.“D’you watch the football?” he asked. Daisy rolled her eyes pointedly at the screen. “I don’t really watch the soccer these days,” she said, “but I used to play, back when I was in school.” “Any good?” “I dunno.” Fitz snorted. “Maybe we should play one on one and find out.” That was the second thing. Daisy narrowed her eyes and drew a slow but shallow draught from her own beer. Fitz had gone back to watching the football, but his fingers tapped and turned the glass in his hands, unable to settle. She would have chalked it up to well-deserved separation anxiety between him and Jemma, if not for the other types of weird energy that seemed to be hovering around him tonight. Daisy tapped at her own glass. Was something up with him? Was he just feeling weird and horny and not sure how to deal with it? Would bringing it up make it better or worse?“Sure,” she said eventually. Fitz jumped, and spun to face her. “What?” “I said sure,” Daisy repeated, slapping her glass back on the table and swaying up to him with bravado. “I’ll play you. Anytime, anywhere.” She was so close to him they were almost touching now, and she grinned as Fitz’s eyes darted up and down what of her he could still see from this angle. His pupils were dark and dilated, and his lips hung a little open, as if he’d forgotten what do with them for a moment. Satisfied with her conclusion, Daisy backed off and settled down, desexualising her pose to that of a casual friend. She shrugged and slapped his shoulder amiably. “You bet,” she said. “I’m sure I’ll pound you anyway.” She sidled off toward the bathroom, and behind her, Fitz choked on his beer. -When she got to the bathroom, however, Daisy’s suave exterior had faded. She locked herself into a cubicle and paced, insofar as she could, the tiny space within, holding her cell-phone up to her ear, and waiting for Jemma to pick up.“Daisy?” came the tiny, crackling voice eventually. “What’s up?” “Everything’s good,” Daisy assured her. “Well, mission-wise. And everyone’s safe. It’s just… um. Fitz.” Jemma chuckled. “Oh?” she wondered innocently. “And what’s Fitz up to?” “He, um.” Daisy bit her nail. “He was coming onto me, earlier. I don’t know if he meant anything by it, really, I mean I know his social skills aren’t amazing but I just… thought you should know… what he’s… Hold on, are you laughing?” Jemma was. “Oh, Daisy, come on. Do you really think Fitz, of all people, would be flirting with random girls in a bar without my express permission?” “Excuse me? ‘Random girls’?” Daisy squeaked. “Well, he has my express permission to court whoever he pleases. I presume on this mission there’ll be a fair few bars and pubs involved – there always are. Q-E-D, random girl in a bar. He could have gone for anyone in there. He just happened to pick you.” “I like to think he didn’t just choose at random, though,” Daisy retorted. “He probably picked me because – because of my stunning personality, or something.” “Or because he’s had a crush on you since the first time he laid eyes on you,” Jemma suggested. Daisy blushed. “Well - yeah, maybe –“ she spluttered, “but not since, you know, you.” “And now that he has my permission, the first thing he does with it is you. And, yes, that double entendre was intentional. You should be flattered. ” Daisy could hear Jemma’s smugness through the speaker.“And you’re cool that it’s me?” Daisy checked. “You don’t mind that I’m gonna be – I mean, that I might wanna… do Fitz back?” “Well, do you?” “No. Yes. Maybe. If he plays his cards right. This is a bit of a new situation for me, but even I have to admit he has a nice ass. And his cheekbones are really coming into themselves. And – “ Daisy cut herself off, biting her lip. “Don’t feel bad about it, Daisy,” Jemma assured her. “We’re the ones that put the thought in your mind. You might as well enjoy it.” “That’s easy to say now,” Daisy pointed out, “but are you going to feel the same way when push really comes to shove? Before any boundaries are or are not shifted I just want to be sure. We can’t unbang what’s been banged.” “I do,” Jemma said, her tone slow and salacious. “If we’re being honest, the thought of the two of you together did seem strange at first but… I rather warmed to it, if you know what I mean.” Heat rose in Daisy’s cheeks.“Me - Me and Fitz?” she hissed into the speaker, fighting to keep her tone hushed as she remembered she was still in a public bathroom. “You got off to me and Fitz?” “Well, not yet,” Jemma told her. “But I did have a few ideas. He’s an absolutely devilish kisser of necks, if that helps his case at all.”Daisy tried to imagine it; the pressure, the passion, the way her knees would go weak and as Fitz- no. She slapped a hand against the cubicle wall.“Fuck me,” she whispered, shocked. It was easier than she’d anticipated, to imagine it. Fitz wasn’t the smoothest at flirting itself, but he had passion to spare and if Jemma was showing him off, he must know what he was doing in the later stages. And she’d never minded a little stubble burn.“So, it’s settled then,” Jemma declared. “You’re a sly little minx, you know that?” Daisy retorted. “I’m quite proud of it, in fact.” “Screw you.” “Well, if Fitz is okay with it.” Daisy snorted. Spluttered. She wasn’t going to dignify that with a response. She wasn’t going to imagine the way Jemma’s smooth skin would feel in her hands. Nope. She clenched a fist. “I have work to do,” she insisted, holding her chin up stubbornly although there was nobody around to see it. “I don’t know, Fitz isn’t that much work,” Jemma pointed out, laughing as she knew she was stretching her limits by now. “And after all, wouldn’t it be plausible that two undercover computer geniuses might know each other in more than just the cyber sense? You two parading as a couple could quell any suspicions that may arise around your familiarity.” “Right, and this is from a purely tactical perspective,” Daisy snorted. “Oh, of course not! It’s easily 60% based on my own selfish reasons.” “Well, at least you’re being honest with yourself.” “And if you’re being honest with yourself, you’ll admit it’s a good idea.” It was, Daisy had to admit. The minx. “Then let me get on with it,” she challenged. “With pleasure.” Jemma hung up. Daisy smiled to herself as she tucked her phone away, and dug a coin out of her pocket for the condom machine. She wasn’t sure where her evening was going, but that direction seemed increasingly likely, and ever more so as she paused to check herself in the mirror. She fluffed her hair. Adjusted the neckline of her dress. Pouted at herself in the mirror. Ladykiller. Maneater. Fitz wouldn’t know what hit him. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Daisy strode up to the bar with confidence, and leaned on it, right by Fitz. Fixing him with big, round, innocent eyes and a convenient angle of her cleavage, she asked; “So can I buy you another round?” “Sure,” Fitz agreed, though with that expression, she could have asked him if he wanted to eat snails and received the same response. Ah, the sex-addled mind could be a wonderful thing. Daisy smiled to herself. “More of the same? I could go a mai tai.” “Cherry caipirinha?” Daisy smirked. “Interesting choice. Done.” She waved the bartender down, repeated their requests, and returned her eyes as quickly as possible to Fitz. He was still watching her ravenously, but upon her catching him out, he smirked back. “I take it Jemma updated you on the situation.” “That she did.” “And unless this is all some elaborate prank, I assume you’ve taken favourably to the, uh, suggestion?” “That I have. Jemma even suggested that we masquerade as a couple for our little rendezvous tonight. What do you think?” “Sounds like a great idea.” Two glasses were placed in front of them. Daisy’s eyes darted down to the cherry stem, and she could almost feel Fitz’s lips on her neck. She plucked the cherry from her drink, and Fitz must have seen the sparkle in her eyes because he plucked his own from atop its ice, and pulled the cherry off the stem with his teeth. “You know, it’s funny,” he remarked. “Jemma could never quite get the hang of that cherry stem thing. It’s quite simple really. All you’ve got to do is –“ He demonstrated, and when he pulled out the completed knot, Daisy gaped. “Well. Aren’t you just full of surprises.”“There are plenty more where that came from.” Daisy felt her heart thrum in her chest. She took a deep swig of her mai tai and, never one to be upstaged, performed the cherry-tying trick even faster than Fitz had. To her delight, he very nearly licked his lips. “Speaking of surprises,” Daisy added. “D’you think we’d be surprised how fast a cab can get us back to the hotel?”- If they were, they didn’t show it. Each was too eager to push and pull the other out of the cab and up the stairs, tumbling into the room in a flurry of fabric and flesh. Daisy pulled Fitz’s jacket off his shoulders. Fitz’s hands were as intent as heat-seeking missiles as they found their way up under Daisy’s dress. He held her steady as she wrapped her legs around his hips, and she worked his tie and buttons, unfazed until she dropped through the air back onto the bed. Flushed, she looked up at him. He paused, hovering over her, his eyes entranced. His tie dangled loose in her hands and his top three buttons were undone, showing off most of his chest. Daisy swallowed hard, pulling her mind into focus. If she tried, she had no doubt she’d find an impressive erection behind that belt, but she didn’t dare invite him any further until she’d asked.“Are you sure?” “About what?” Fitz replied. “About you?” “Well…” “Daisy.” He leaned down, and placed a kiss at the neckline of her dress. “You are without a doubt – one of the most beautiful women – I’ve ever seen.” Daisy’s toes curled as he made his way, kiss by kiss, up to her collarbone.“And it’s true that I like to trust people –“ he kissed again, but longer – “before even thinking of doing anything like this, but I trust you Daisy. With my life. With my pleasure…” Another kiss, fierce and passionate; Daisy had to catch her breath for that one “… Trusting you with that is nothing but a privilege.” He set a gentle, chaste kiss to her lips and Daisy’s whole body seemed to blush. After setting her nerve-endings on fire, here he was waiting, sweet and patient, for her response. “Damn you, articulate bastard,” she hissed. He laughed. Then; “Why d’you ask?” he offered. “Are you having second thoughts? No hard feelings.” This time, Daisy laughed. “Oh, I think there’d be at least one hard feeling in the room, wouldn’t you say?” “See for yourself,” Fitz invited. Daisy bit her lip, the odd bubble of laughter still trying to work its way out of her throat, and a little anxiety, and a hot flush filling her cheeks and down her neck as she crept her fingers toward Fitz’s belt, and pulled, and crept inside. He closed his eyes, letting out a strangled little breath as her fingers made contact, the thin material of his jocks no match for the hypersensitive skin beneath.“Daisy,” Fitz breathed, after a long moment of her gratuitous admiration. “Much as I’d like to feel each other up all day, we do have a meeting to be getting to. Unless you want us negotiating national safety with two extreme cases of blue balls I’d like to move that we… move, a little faster.”“Here here,” Daisy agreed. “Condom’s in my pocket. Ooh! No, that’s not a pocket. Down boy.” Fitz snorted, but left her with that for a second as he retreated to where her jacket had been dropped. Once naked and ready, he returned to find an equally naked Daisy waiting for him on the bed. He was a little disheartened – the pleasure of undressing was one of his favourite parts of foreplay – but Daisy smiled at him, and trailed a finger down her own naked body. “Turnabout’s fair play, and time saving is time saving,” she said. “But here we are.”“Here we are indeed.” “Nervous?” “A little,” Fitz confessed.“Well, I can help with that. Come here.”She crooked a finger at Fitz and he crawled onto the bed, on his knees. Mimicking him, she came to meet him. She kissed him slowly, deeply, running her fingers over his neck and through his hair. Fitz had always been a man drawn to physical intimacy and now was no different; his heart accelerated and lips parted in desire as she infused confidence in him and he, in turn, kissed back with passion. Daisy’s hands crept lower, to Fitz’s hips, and one hand to his dick, that she wrapped around. He bit her lip a little. She kissed back harder, and ran her hand over him, and he easily moulded to her steering him to lie against the bedrest. She sat on his legs, massaging his cock, enjoying the way the sensation seemed to fill his whole body.“Oh, you like that?” she teased, feigning surprise as Fitz started to rutt a little against her. She flicked her hair back over her shoulder, and began grinding with her own hips instead of her hands. She sat up straighter, showing off her breasts, and it was harder to maintain her suave smile when Fitz reached up and touched them. She’d no doubt he’d take them between his lips and love them each if he could, if he could reach, if they had time. A warm tremor ran through her core. “You – you like that?” he teased back. Daisy smiled fondly. Apparently, two could play at this game, and each made the other feel at ease. Then, he pinched her nipple and her back arched, and the smile disappeared as she groaned. She squeezed his cock a little, in playful vengeance, and his hips bucked. Daisy was wet against his leg by now and he was standing to attention, longing for her. His fingers massaged her breasts and nipples with a patience that his lower half just did not have. It was only fair, Daisy figured, to slide down onto him. She moaned. Taking care of herself was always a pleasure, but to have someone – a real person, real flesh and blood and muscle, real arousal, real connection. Someone who loved her, too, if not in the most conventional way. It was an intimacy that she had been lacking for so much of her life, albeit with brief – and tragic - interludes. The intensity and relief of this simple thrill was an unfair advantage to Fitz, perhaps, but what unfair advantage could there be when he began steadily thrusting inside her, and his fingers gently massaging her clit? He wasn’t about to take the easy ride, so neither was she. She thrust back, matching his rhythm, and reached up and back to touch his legs, his hips, herself, her own hair. She showed off her breasts, since he liked those so much, and with intent eyes and firm fingers he showed her everything he wanted to do to them, but where he could reach instead.“Oh, god,” she hissed, angling herself better. She could feel herself climbing and climbing and Fitz was eager to keep up. One hand still at her clit, he moved the other to her breast, massaging slow and firm and making her head spin as their hips moved faster together. She leaned into his hands, and he moaned a little too. He was getting close – they both were – and the hot, slow massage and rapid meeting of flesh on flesh down below set his senses alight. He felt himself come in a starburst, burning through him. Adrift in pleasure, in light, he lost all sense of time and place outside of his own body – and of Daisy’s, as she pressed down on him and groaned, as much satisfaction as frustration. All he needed now was to make sure she came with him, and he drew the pleasure out of her like working metal, or toffee, single-mindedly using his own bliss to stoke the fire until, with a gasp, she followed him over the edge. -It felt strangely uninvited to kiss his lips, but Daisy left a trail kisses on his heaving chest as she sank down into the bed beside him. Her body still thrummed with pleasure, and she could almost see how dizzy with it he was himself. His face was flushed with pleasure and satisfaction, and he smiled like he was on cloud nine. Daisy settled against him for a few seconds, but no, that didn’t feel right. Despite her pleasure, despite what they’d shared, theirs wasn’t a relationship. Not like that. Her place was not one of long fluffy cuddles, but rather, of waking to find the other in the shower, and perhaps, of morning-after pancakes. She could still work with that. Thinking of work, an alert sounded off in her mind. Reluctantly, she dragged herself out of bed, and over to the fridge. Perhaps she should pour the water over herself? No. Between the alcohol and the sex – her knees still felt, a pleasant whisper in the back of her mind, like they would collapse if asked – she needed as much hydration as she could get. So did Fitz.“Come on, lover boy,” she invited, turning to throw him a bottle of water too. “We should probably-“He held up a hand. His phone was ringing. Daisy dug for it in his abandoned jacket and tossed it to him. He answered, pinching his nose to pull himself together.“Go for Fitz.”Work? Daisy mouthed as the other end spoke. Fitz nodded. “Yeah, we’re coming,” he said, into the phone.Daisy snickered, and Fitz groaned silently.“I mean –“ he corrected. “I mean we’re on our way now.”
11281692	A Sisters Love	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "F/F", "Characters": "Paora \| Palla, Katua \| Catria", "Fandom": "Fire Emblem: Shin Ankoku Ryuu to Hikari no Ken \| Fire Emblem: Shadow Dragon", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Explicit", "author": "by HaleyMead", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-23T00:00:00", "words": "939", "Additional Tags": "Incest", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Let's try 1 more time Catria said Palla during their last training session for the day. The sniper helping them train loaded the last arrow and shot at Catria. Catria was wanting to try a new maneuver she thought of so she spun upside down on her Pegasus. She tried to hold on but lost her grip and fell on her sister. She looked down to apologize when she stopped. She always thought Palla was the most attractive of the sisters but she never realized how beautiful she was until she was laying on her. She felt a strange feeling in her chest. Not knowing what to do Catria got up and ran to her room. When she got there she was more than a little confused. This can’t be right. I can not be in love with my sister she thought. She started changing out of her training clothes when she felt a wet spot on her panties. I guess I do like my sister she thought. She moved to her bed and lay down. She slowly moved her hand down and into her underwear. She slowly started moving her fingers in and out of her pussy. She slowly sped up until she was going as fast as she could handle. She soon started moaning Pallas’ name not caring if she was heard. Meanwhile Palla had just returned from putting the training equipment away and was going to the room she shared with her sisters to check on Catria. She heard Catria moaning her name in the room and got concerned. She rushed into the room to find Catria laying naked on the bed fingering herself. Catria heard the door open and sat up in fear realizing her sister had heard her. “What are you doing Catria” Palla asked. “I love you Palla” said Catria realizing she had been caught. “How long have you liked me” asked Palla. “I don’t know how long but I realized it at training today please don’t hate me Palla”. “I don’t hate you Catria but I also do not love you that way”. “Palla can I ask for one kiss and promise to never bring this up again”. “Sorry Catria but I can’t do that”. “I mean i am your sister”.” Please just one Palla haven’t you ever loved someone who didn’t feel the same and just want one kiss”? “ Okay Catria but just one”. Palla sat on the bed next to Catria. Catria leaned in and kissed Palla. Palla was shocked it was like nothing she had experienced and truthfully she wanted more. Catria pulled away and started to get up. “Stop Catria I may have liked that more than I thought. “Really Palla does that mean you want to try more”? “At least a little” she replied. Catria sat down and kissed Palla again a little stronger this time. Palla kissed back this time truly enjoying it this time. Catria decided to try a little further so she opened her mouth and prodded Pallas lips with her tongue. Palla excited by this opened her mouth and let Catria’s tongue in. They only broke their kiss when Catria removed Pallas shirt. Her bra was also removed. Catria moved her head down and licked one of Pallas nipples. It hardened immediately as Catria started to suck on one and play with the other. She then changed to suck on the other nipple. Palla started moaning from the pleasure her sister was giving her.She moved her hand down to start pleasuring herself but Catria stopped her. “That is my job my sweet sister. Catria moved down and removed Palla’s pants and underwear to reveal her wet pussy. “Do I make you wet sister” Catria asked her now very horny sister. “Yes Catria please do not stop”. Obeying her sister's request Catria started kissing down her sister’s leg and started sucking on her thigh. “Stop teasing me and fuck me “ Palla begged. Catria motivated by her sisters begging licked her sisters pussy. She started with a slow lick then sped up. She then stuck a finger in her sister's pussy and started thrusting it in and out. Palla started moaning even louder. This encouraged Catria to go even faster. Palla couldn’t last much longer and came on Catria’s hand. Catria licked the cum off of her and then moved up to kiss her sister. “You taste really good Palla” commented Catria. Palla then flipped them over so she was on top and continued the kiss. Palla slowly worked her way down her sister's body. Kissing down her neck and stopping at her breasts. She slowly sucked one into her mouth and sucked on it gently. Catria could not help herself and started moaning and running her fingers through her sister's long green hair. Palla continued her way down kissing down Catria’s stomach and stopping at her very wet vagina. She stopped and looked up at Catria. “Tell me you want me” Palla said in a seductive voice. “I need you Palla please make your sister cum” Hearing this Palla started licking her pussy. She stuck two fingers in and started trusting as quickly as she could. Catria was surprised at how good her sister was at pleasuring her and she came twice to her sister's hands. Palla slowly removed her hand from her sister's vagina and licked her hand almost clean, then moved and let her sister taste her juices. “We should do this more often” Catria said. “We can whenever you want my love” replied Palla. They spent most of the night like this, then fell asleep naked in each others arms.
11273388	Look at Me	{ "Archive Warning": "Major Character Death", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Choi Seungcheol \| S.Coups, Yoon Jeonghan, Hong Jisoo \| Joshua", "Fandom": "SEVENTEEN (Band)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Mature", "author": "by Living_in_SCoups_eyelashes", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-22T00:00:00", "words": "717", "Additional Tags": "Martyr Cheol, Blind Love - Freeform, implied suicide, Sad, Why are people settling for less?, Jisoo dies immediately lol, Jeonghan is pretty much obsessed with Shua", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "Hong Jisoo \| Joshua & Yoon Jeonghan, Choi Seungcheol \| S.Coups/Yoon Jeonghan", "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	I had two childhood friends. Jeonghan and I were in the same grade while Jisoo was a grade lower. He was like a precious little baby to us. We grew up together.During highschool, Jisoo approached me. "I want to confess to Han." It was a question rather than a statement. "Then do it. Why are you telling me this?" I wouldn't tell him that I liked Han as well. "We grew up together so it was a possibility." I just smiled. Had I stopped him that day....They dated and I grew farther apart from them. They got married and I was left to grow old alone. Years passed and somehow, my feelings for Han subsided. It had to. My phone rang one night. "He died." It was Jeonghan. Jisoo had apparently died in a car crash. He died then and there. "I have to follow him" Han was miserable. I have never seen in him in that state. He did not eat anything I served him. I asked him to live with me for awhile. I cared for him. I bathed him. I fed him. He was dead inside. "You'll die at this pace" I have been patient with him. "If I die, I'd be with Jisoo." Fuck. I wrapped my arms around his head. "It's okay. Jisoo is right here. See?" I had to do something. Even if that silly hug was too much of an attempt. It was the only thing I could think of. He embraced me back. "Shua! Shua- I've missed you. I love you so much. You came back for your Hannie?" It was too miserable. He cried and cried and it hurt me. He held me yet he called out a name I don't possess. But it was enough for me because he was in my arms.We lived in that fantasy world I created. He knew it was not Jisoo. He knew it too well. He wore a blindfold whenever we hugged. It was my signal. Once the blindfolds were on, I had to call myself Jisoo. I laid on the bed naked. He wore his blindfolds then his lips curved into a smile. "Did you miss little Hannie?" He wore my oversized shirt. It hurt too much but it was the only way to hold him. "Shit. You pound as great as ever." He bounced on top of me with lewd face of his. He was this sex addicted maniac that only Jisoo got to see but there I was, being the object of his desire. "You're not allowed to cum unless I do first." I ordered. "Ofcourse my love. Cum inside Hannie. Fill Hannie with your sweet juice." His pace was in chaos already. I grabbed his sides forcefully, surely leaving bruises. He moaned at my touch and arched his back. "Help Hannie?" I pushed him down in time with my thrust which earned me a soft grunt. "Fuck me more please. Destroy me. Fill me with your cum. Hannie is a good boy. Please Jisoo."I was preparing side dishes for tomorrow's lunch when he approached me. He gracefully wrapped his pale arms around my waist. "I'm cooking." He ignored my protest with a grin. "I love you." He said it without his blindfolds. "You're not wearing it." He hummed before kissing me on the lips.He saw me as me. I'm not a replacement anymore. I'm Seungcheol to him. I am his Seungcheol now.I happily hummed a tune as I sat on the bedside. He approached me and sat beside me. "Hey" his hand reached for mine. "Why aren't you wearing our wedding ring? Have you lost it? Or haven't you been wearing it all this time?" He didn't need the blindfold anymore. My entire existence has been erased for him. It fucking hurt, my eyes stared to water. He reached for my cheeks. "Sorry. I was harsh. If you told me, I wouldn't have been mad." "Jeonghan, I want to fuck you." He smiled at me. "Be fucked by Seungcheol." His eyes darkened. "Hi Cheol, it has been a while. I'm sorry Han had to intrude in your home for so long." "It's okay auntie." "Cheol? Han died. He left a note for you.""I'm sorry Cheol-ah, I'm going to see Jisoo."
11253999	PARALLELS	{ "Archive Warning": "Graphic Depictions Of Violence", "Category": null, "Characters": "Steve Rogers, James \"Bucky\" Barnes", "Fandom": "Captain America (Movies)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Not Rated", "author": "by Wolviecat", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-20T00:00:00", "words": "0", "Additional Tags": "Hydra Trash Party", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "James \"Bucky\" Barnes & Steve Rogers, James \"Bucky\" Barnes/Steve Rogers", "Series": null, "Collections": "Hydra TrashBook 2.0", "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }
11297883	A New Order	{ "Archive Warning": null, "Category": null, "Characters": "Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Tom Riddle \| Voldemort, Draco Malfoy, Viktor Krum", "Fandom": "Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Explicit", "author": "by LadyBraken", "chapters": "4/?", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-25T00:00:00", "words": "28,980", "Additional Tags": "War, Longburn, Politics, Multiple Schools, Slytherin Harry, Morally Grey Harry Potter, Emotional Manipulation, Manipulative Relationship, Some Horrible Stuff, Rated for reason people, seriously, It will be worst after", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": "Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage Sex", "Categories": "F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi", "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	A New Order Prologue Harry was 10 when he heard the voice for the first time.He was waiting in the living room, his eyes staring at the floor. He knew what was coming. He was used to it.Monster. They liked to call him that. Freak, Degenerate, Animal. His uncle liked to beat him; Harry knew that. He could see it on his uncle's face, he could read it in his mind. His aunt Petunia just sat and watched, but she never moved or did anything. She was just staring at him with contempt, while her son was laughing and encouraging his father.Harry had learned to stop screaming. He stopped crying, he never begged, for it would only bring more pain. Uncle Vernon liked to see him hurt, because he was scared and hateful. Harry knew it. And uncle Vernon, through his dull mind, knew that Harry knew as well, in a way. It only enraged him more.This time, Vernon had chosen a metallic bar to hit his nephew. He didn't have any purpose to it, he was angry, and Harry existed.But this time, Vernon didn't look like he would stop beating him. Harry heard his bones crack, until he couldn't hold his screams, and started to see black dots in front of his eyes. He was already so fragile, he hadn't eaten anything in the last three days.He was staring at Petunia. Help me, his eyes said, for it might be your last chance to help me.Then the voice came. Harry... He didn't notice it. He was in pain, like never before. He couldn't concentrate on anything else than the pain of the cold metallic bar breaking his bones into pieces, the screams of his cousin, the blank stare of Petunia until he passed out from the pain.Harry woke up at the same place he had fainted, in the middle of the Dursley's living room. Everything was dark around him. The clock's ticks were the only sound in the room.He tried to get up, but he couldn't. He looked at his leg. Broken, obviously. The pain was unbearable, but he didn't scream, nor cry. Doing it would be admitting that they had won, that they had broken him. He wasn't broken. He only needed some bandages, he told himself, and a safe place to rest.But the pain doesn't stop when you want it to. It isn't that simple. The biggest part of his wounds had already healed. He tried to breathe slowly, focusing on it for a moment.It was one of the reasons they hated him. He was able to do things. They couldn't understand it, so they wanted it to disappear. He hated them for that. He could forgive the hate, he could forgive the insults, but the pain, even after he had healed himself, the pain stayed.Harry felt his heart rushing trough his feelings. He couldn't fully understand how he felt. He was sad, terrified, angry, and tired, so tired; and that combination was literally hurting his heart. He pressed his hand against his chest, screaming silently, trying to make it go away. But it wouldn't. Around him, a dark dust was slowly spreading, and everything started shaking.He looked around, seeking for anything that might help him. This was when he saw them: the knives, waiting patiently, shining coldly under the moonlight illuminating the room.He felt his heart calm down. Somehow, he finally rose, while staring at the knives.They were hypnotic. He wasn't thinking anymore. He only took one of them, slowly, enjoying the noise of the blade against the folder. It was a real melody, something cold, calm. A blade's lullaby. The pain in his legs seemed to have moved into some sort of determination, of nothingness. He could feel it, but it was like it was somebody else's. He wasn't even shaking. His body and mind were blank. He only remembered what his cousin said to him, only a few hours earlier, when he saw Harry trying to escape the house silently." Nobody would even notice if you died, freak". If that so , he thought, nobody will never notice if I happen to kill you, my dear . They would notice the Dursleys's absence, and in a day or two find the bodies, but who would remember the little pile of rags which used to be somewhere in the corner?Slowly, he limped into the stairs, one step after the other. His leg was bleeding, and he did his best to ignore the pain, which was slowly returning. It was a living hell. Not that it changed from usual, but for the first time he was acknowledging it.Somehow, he felt like someone was helping him. He felt like someone was actually trying to cast the pain away. Poor me, he thought, Am I so lonely that I'm making imaginary friends?He pushed the door to the Dursleys's room. They were here, silently sleeping, peaceful. Disgusting. At this very moment, he knew how superior he was, how scared of him, how tiny, how helpless they were. He knew that he had something more. His shadow grew on their sleeping bodies, and for an instant, he thought it was like death was already over them.His hand tightened on the knife. Do it... He moved silently, and stood on the mattress, over his uncle. He will start with him, not only because he was the most dangerous, but because Petunia loved him. And above all people in this world, it was Petunia that he hated the most. He wanted to hurt her.Suddenly, Vernon opened his eyes. They looked at each other for a second. Harry could see himself, pale, green eyes glowing from the inside, unpleasant smile on his face, the knife shining in his hand.The hit Vernon sends into Harry's belly made the young boy fly across the room. Fear came back as he crashed on the corridor's floor and felt his ribs cracks. He immediately ran for his "room", the small cupboard under the stairs, half limping, half crawling, his uncle on his heels. In the panic, he had let the knife go."COME BACK HERE YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF-", he heard upstairs.He had to heal, he had to leave. Otherwise, he would die, he knew it. He tried to concentrate, but he was too frightened. He heard his uncle's footstep's on the stairs, he heard his mad thoughts. I'm going to kill this little brat, he doesn't belong to this world, how dare he raise his filthy hands on me... Harry couldn't breathe anymore. Partly because of the concentration he needed to fix his leg, partly because he now had ribs trying to pierce trough his lungs and every movement was painful.He tried to think of an escape. His neighbours wouldn't help, they never did. They were the same as the Dursleys, more quiet in the hatred, maybe. One of the children looked a bit like himself, he had the same cadaverous features, the sames wounds on his body, but not as often, maybe was he in a better situation, but what could two children could do more than one? He had no family. He couldn't have any friends as he was locked up most part of the year. He couldn't deal with the police, he was seeking freedom, not jail. Unless...His uncle was drumming at the door, but Harry wanted it closed, so it remained in place. But he couldn't go on like that. He had nowhere to go. His emotions were like a storm in his chest, and he felt like his skull was going to explode, to split in half from the lightning shaped scar he had on the forehead." Get out of here! I'm going to fucking kill you!" his uncle shouted at the door."No."The noises stopped as Uncle Vernon stood still under the shock. That was his chance. Harry threw himself through the door and jumped on him. He only needed a single touch.He put his hand on his uncle's, and looked into his eyes.Images came to his mind. He saw his uncle meeting Petunia. He saw the birth of Dursley. He saw many things he didn't want to, but he didn't care. Everywhere he passed, he destroyed everything. Memory after memory, neuron after neuron, in an instant uncle Vernon didn't exist anymore. He had become an object. A doll, a big reddish doll.Harry only noticed Petunia's screams when it was over. The boy violently turned towards her. She was holding her beloved son against her as if her only arms could save him from the boy. In the corridor, of her dull-faced husband, two green orbs were staring at her in the shadows.It only took an instant for Harry to put her out of his way. When his cousin finally fell on the floor, he sat into the couch. He never had the right to do so before, and the feeling was exquisite, even with the pain that made all his body shiver. He was exhausted, but he was mostly sad. His anger had faded away at the exact moment he knew he had won, and that he had won so easily. Now, he knew it was the only way, and that at one point or another he would have had to come to this. He had no way out, and this situation was the only one he could have ended in.He watched the bodies of his family laying on the floor, slowly breathing as he felt asleep, and for the first time in his life he wasn't afraid to wake up.He woke up at midday, and his leg was almost healed. He used to heal a lot quicker, but exhaustion and the gravity of his wounds had made his body weaker.The Dursleys were still on the floor, not giving any sign of independent movement. Even if he had the strongest will to get rid of them soon, Harry needed them. He needed money, and he needed to avoid suspicion. Luckily, it was Sunday, so their absence wouldn't be noticed. He rose his hand and focused on what he wanted them to do. They rose in the same shaky movement, and started to prepare breakfast. Their faces were blank. He would have to work on that, but for now he was full with joy as he commanded them to do as he saw fit.It was only after he painfully took his first shower of the week that the idea stroke him. He wasn't alone in this. He had seen the other boy making things levitating, he had seen how he was looking at him. He had to go and talk to him, to offer a sanctuary in this house. Here, he knew, they would be safe from the others.He went into his cousin's room, and started to move the furniture, as it would be his for now on. He chose his cousin's best clothes, dark trousers and a well-cut shirt, admired himself in the mirror. The clothes were obviously too big for him, but he felt better.He sat on the bed, which he had put just under the window for it was the first time he could look at the street without being chased or cleaning something, and thought about his plans. He had to make a choice. Would he himself enslaved (because he saw no other words to described what he has done), or allow the other boy, his family has he did? And if the boy actually wanted more...Even if he was only 10, Harry's mind was dark and cautious. Partly because for him it was the only way to survive, and partly because of his own temper, which happened to be calm most of the time, well, except when his life was in a real danger. And even with his abilities, the dilemma he was in was too difficult for him to sort out alone. And, he thought, he had no right to have it. He had already made his choice, and the other boy would have to make it too. He had the power, but he couldn't possibly choose for him what was the best. The only thing he could do, was to offer peace and safety.He went back downstairs to find the Dursleys casually waiting in line for new orders, eyes in the mist. He waved a hand, and Petunia started to make lunch, as Vernon and his son sat on the couch, looking at the black TV screen. Everything was settled, and Harry put a note to himself in the kitchen, in order not to forget to feed them when he'll came back.For the first time in his life, he went freely into the street, and even if his leg wasn't still functioning as it should, he enjoyed the walk. He tried to think about everything good he could possibly have in mind, because he wanted to be sure to remain calm while facing the other boy's, he knew that deep down his anger hadn't exploded yet.He had merely scratched the top.As he was small, even for his age, he managed to sneak into the other boy's garden. He cautiously watched through the window what was happening inside.The house was the exact same as Harry's. The boy was standing in the kitchen, making food. He wasn't looking well. Harry could see that he had difficulties moving his back, and therefore his head lowered, always looking at the ground. He was taller than Harry, and had sharper features, but he was just as pale and unhealthily thin. His dark hair were cut in a very strange way, and it took minutes for Harry to understand why: he had a long scar running down on his skull, on the right side of his head. As he turned to grab ingredients, Harry could also notice that one of his eye was entirely white, blinded somehow, while the other was icy gray. If it wasn't for his scars, he would have been handsome, with his thin palish face.Harry felt his anger come back, and his aura around him grew, causing the garden's flower to fade. The other boy felt it. As he was turning toward Harry, the boy waved his hand, asking him if he could go outside. Slowly, the boy nodded, placing himself so that his father, who was in the living room watching TV, just as everybody in the neighborhood, couldn't see Harry.Harry heard the boy mutter something about getting the trash out, and the door shutting down in the minute. Harry went into the street, and they just stayed in front of each other, evaluating each other for a few seconds. Then, as Harry didn't feel any bad intentions into the other boy's mind, he got closer to him."I'm Harry." he said, in the most friendly voice he could."I'm Damien." the other answered, shaking Harry's hand.Harry could feel that Damien was like him, he could feel the energy running in his veins, and as he looked into Damien's eyes, he knew that the other boy felt it too. He smiled at him, and it was the first real smile that he had given in his life, and he didn't leave his hand. But the smile vanished as he felt the pain into Damien's body."Does he hurt you?" He asked coldly."Yes. "There was no need of further explanation. The boy was shaking in fear. Harry nodded and made a sign of the head toward his own house, asking Damien to follow him."But I sh-should be back now..." Damien said. His only eye was black of terror."You won't regret it. "Harry's voice didn't leave any room for discussion, but there was sweetness in it. Still holding Damien's hand, he led him to his house, slowly. He didn't want to scare him more than he already was, he was even afraid that the boy would have a heart attack if he was touched by a leave. Somehow, Damien followed him calmly. He had seen Harry before, and he could still see the marks where his shirt let his skin appeared. But, more, he could see something around him, something powerful. He didn't know why he was sure Harry would not hurt him at any cost, but he was. They both felt like a man meeting a compatriot in a far away place.The door opened before Harry, without him touching it. Damien's jaw dropped. This wasn't strange accidents, this was magic.They both went to the kitchen, and it was only at this moment that Damien noticed that something was wrong. Nobody was moving except for Harry.Two plates full of food were on the table, set up, and Harry made a sign for Damien to sit next to him, and the boy obeyed. He was scared by the family. They all had blank stares, and looked like corpses, but the woman was standing behind the counter.Harry looked at his own with a smirk. At least, the boy didn't run away in the firsts seconds, but he expected that. It took bravery to live in these conditions, or maybe some insanity."What happened to them ?" Damien finally asked after he ate all his food, which only took him five minutes as he was quite literally starving."It is something I can do. They just don't think anymore, you see, not that they used to."Damien laughed."So they do what you ask? ""Yup, they do what I order, I can make them do anything. "Harry looked at the other boy in the eyes:"And they can't hurt me anymore." he answered to his silent question.Damien nodded, half scared by Harry, half amazed in front of the possibilities."You're lucky...""You could be too."It was the moment. The moment when Damien would decide to join Harry, or not. Harry looked at his new friend anxiously. He waited minutes, but when Damien locked back at him, his eyes were filled with acceptance, and somewhat of joy. He was thinking of revenge.Harry smiled, and nodded to him.They had an understanding. They sat silently, finished their plates, and Harry waved his hand for his cousin to wash them. Damien looked at that with admiration.They started to talk. They were counting their experience, the accidents, and agreed on calling it magic, whatever it was. It was like they were alone in the world, into the silent house in the silent Sunday afternoon street. Eventually, they started talking about their wounds. Damien could heal too but he wasn't as efficient as Harry. He explained that he had lost his eye because his father didn't want to spend money sending him to the doctor as he was sick, and the skull's scar was from an "accident" falling into the stairs. Harry was angry, but mostly relieved. Even without their common experience, the boys would have got along, as they founded themselves finishing each other sentences. It took them a moment to understand that it was mostly because they were somehow reading each other's minds. Well, in fact, Harry was the reader.It was almost dark when they heard Damien's father voice calling him.Harry told his friend not to move, and slowly opened the door. It took them almost a month to decide what to do with Damien's father. On the one hand, it was hard to manage two houses while going to school, without anyone noticing, but on the second hand they couldn't get rid of him without dooming Damien to an orphanage, as he didn't have any other family.They decided to train their abilities, they needed to know what they were able to do. Harry was obviously more powerful that Damien, but the other boy had some things to show. He was smart, and had a real talent to foresee what was going to happen. But, and it was far more important, he was able to calm Harry's anger with his only presence. Damien knew how to handle Harry, and the boy was glad for that. It was only the two of them, the others didn't matter.They hated school, as the other children still treated them as garbage, but now they were together and planning their revenge. They needed a way out.One day, it became too much. One of the school's children, his name was Paul Nwet, much older than Harry, maybe around 13, decided to bully the boys. He was tall, big, strong, and one could see that it was the only thing he could rely on. He had come across them as they were leaving home, shouting at them."Hey freaks!"They didn't answer. Damien took Harry's hand. Breath, he said silently. Their link had grown enough for both of them to talk by thought if they had a physical contact. It was like Damien always opened his mind for Harry to send messages. Harry took a deep breath, and they hurried. But the other boy didn't look like he was about to let them go. He took a rock, and threw it at Damien, hitting him badly.The second Harry saw the blood on his friend's face, he lost control. It was the only thing he couldn't stand: someone had hit his family. A non-magic dared hit his brother in front of him. It wasn't only the pain and the fear, now it was also a question of honor, of rightness. It was unfair, all of this was unfair.You want to do it... he heard.Yes , he thought, this time I want to do itHe looked into Paul's eyes."Pain" he said. His voice was cold as ice.Immediately, Paul fell on the ground, screaming. Harry's eyes were glowing greed, and his pupils dilated of pleasure as he went along the nerves, burning them one by one. He could feel his own energy around him, like a dark wind. He was powerful.He didn't notice that he was getting closer to Paul until he was almost stepping on him. The boy was twitching from pain, and Harry could see in his mind that he had gone mad. None of his thoughts were logical, or even complete. A puddle of blood was growing around Paul.Harry rose his hand put it on Paul's head. He took a deep breath, concentrating. He had to stop this, but he couldn't let the boy go. To tell the truth, he didn't want to. A green light exploded between his hand and the boy's head, and it was all. Paul was dead, even if his legs didn't stop twitching.Harry didn't know how he did that, he didn't know how he was so sure on how to do that, but the boy was dead indeed. He felt more free somehow, like he got rid of a weight in his mind. He couldn't move. His mind was processing the fact that he had killed the boy. That he had had the power to do so.The hot summer's wind in his dark hair brought him back to reality.He turned to Damien. The young man was sitting, watching him with a glitch of fear in his eyes. He nodded, there was no other way of ending this, but he could still see the green light into Harry's eyes, and a smirk curling his mouth. Everything around him seemed to have darkened, as if even the light didn't want to approach the boy. But they were in this together. He couldn't let Harry go, or we would be all alone, if not dead. But he discovered something in him that surprised him according to what he was looking at. Loyalty. At this moment, he decided that he would never go against his friend, as it was for him that he had killed.He stood up, and concentrate his energy to push the corpse away from the road, into the ditch. Happily, they were alone and no one was living nearby. Harry didn't make a move. He was still thrilled by the sensations.They didn't talk about it later, and went back to their "normal" life. It was their secret. But Harry found himself sleeping less than he should, not that he had nightmare of any sort, he just couldn't sleep more than a few hours.Bit by bit, they made Damien's father disappear from his social activities, and one day they send him to a psychiatric hospital, nameless. Even without controlling him, his brain was too burnt for him to be able even to talk, nor think correctly. It seemed to be the best option, and the only one which didn't involve a casual accident.They kept the Dursleys, as they still needed money to eat, and if Harry's cousin went to disappear, it would be noticed by the school, which was on the edge since Paul's body was found, about a month after he died.Even if they were careful, they had a good time, and an almost normal family life. Harry found the way to make the Dursleys have facial expressions, and in one or two months, it was almost as if they were still free, on the surface.Harry and Damien eventually found the way to make objects levitate. The first tries made things explode or fly around the room, but as they learned to control themselves, they managed it. Damien couldn't lift more than a hair, but Harry, as he was close to his 11's birthday, could lift many objects at the same time, he managed once to make their bed levitate. It was obvious that Damien didn't have a lot of power, in fact, he almost didn't have any. Harry suspected that Damien's magic was stuck somewhere because of what he had lived, and he didn't blame him. The boy seemed afraid of his own power. Somehow, he was afraid to become as powerful as Harry, therefore, he wasn't jealous of his brother.Harry's marks remained too. He couldn't lift his shirt even in front of his friend because of the scars which were running on all of his chest and back. He avoided people he didn't know, and hated skin contact. He could know too much with a simple touch. In fact, only Damien could touch him, because he knew where it hurt and where it was fine.They talked a lot about the possibility for others like them to exist. They decided to stay in the shadows and hide from the others, as they seem to always attack whatever looked like magic, but if they were others, they couldn't stand to let them grow into the non-magical hands, and live the life they had. The personal anger they felt grew into hate at a much larger scale, but they were smart enough to understand hating everyone didn't make any sense. But it was still words, and they were conscious that they didn't have enough information to do anything, even if they eventually had the power.They still didn't feel safe, so they always managed to do everything together. They had put two beds side to side into Harry's room. Step by step, the house came to look life theirs, but they never called it home.It was on the summer of their 11's birthday when Harry received the letter.As they were reading it, their mouth agape. It was a confirmation of what they had imagined, but it was more. They weren't alone. There was a whole society. But the thing that stroke them was that they didn't understand most of the information, including places they had to go and things they had to buy. They talked about it for hours before Harry was struck by an idea."Someone's gonna come" he said, his face brightened by the solutionThe other boy looked at him with admiration. Of course, why didn't he thought about that?"They know who and where you are, he stated, but not about what we can do... I didn't even receive one.""This mean that they know that we are complete ignorant on whatever they talk about here, declared Harry while he shook the letter. And it may means that they don't know at all about you.""But it also means that they are complete ignorant of this, gravely said Damien as he pointed at Petunia with his head. ""They mustn't find out. "Of course, they both knew that. What they did was wrong, and they didn't want to lose their only chance to escape from the situation, which had been deteriorating week by week. They decided to hide Damien's power, to act like he was only a close friend and a guest. Controlling the Dursley tired Harry, and he was feeling strange, sometimes his scar even hurt. He didn't know where he had it, but from its reaction and the pain he sometimes felt, he and Damien had supposed that it was magical, as in view of the letter, it was effectively question of magic."Whomever is going to come here, he is going to have the same type of power as we do...""So we need to hide them well" concluded Harry.Even if they apparently stayed calm; in fact, they were panicking. Under the pressure, it only took them an hour or two to clean up the house, making it look like the family still lived here and Damien was only a guest. They had to do the other house too, just in case, and it took them almost half of the night as it had become very dusty. They were good to cover themselves. They put food in both of the fridges, undid the beds of both houses, checked on everything, starting the electricity and the water.They had decided to lock the Dursleys in their room, which used to be the couple's chamber, and to reduce the magic control that Harry had on them at a minimum range, hoping that the witch that was going to come wouldn't notice. Then, they waited, all the night on the couch, watching TV in a desperate attempt to change their mind. They had no remorse, they had done what needed to be done (mostly), but at this moment it was them against the world, and the world seemed to know too many things about them already. They hated the unknown, and they hated that this very feeling looked too much like what had made the others cruel towards them. But they were together, so they remained calm, doing things as if they were natural, even if they were looking at every second for a pair of unknown eyes to look at them. Eventually, they fell asleep.Harry found himself in a dusty room. A bathroom, actually, gloomy and dirty like the ones in abandoned houses. There was a mirror, but he could't quite recognize himself in it. The man that was in front of him didn't look like him, quite older, he looked to be around 25, but Harry could sense that he wasn't. He had sharp, aristocratic features, black hairs, he was handsome, but something in him was disturbing.His eyes. Harry couldn't move away of their crimson stare. Strangely, he didn't feel scared. No, he had the impression that he had always knew the man, even if he couldn't say from where. It was something at the back of his head. His reflection was looking at him with interest, studying his face like he was a strange insect and needed to decide if he was worth of attention. None of them talked for a moment. Harry felt a dizziness on the back of his mind, an intrusion. Focusing on everything he had, he pushed it away as gentle as he could. The imprint of the intruder felt familiar, and Harry didn't want to be aggressive, but he couldn't quite control the forces to defend himself. The expression on the man's face changed: he looked pleased, surprised, and actually quite friendly, even if he looked more like the kind of men you have to respect than those you can be close to.A man will come to your house , the man said, do not trust him.The man's voice was warm, but sharp. Harry felt his scar burning, and somewhere behind them he heard a woman scream. He nodded, more confused than scared. He opened his mouth to answer.Suddenly, he was overflown his a storm of images, sounds, information that came from somewhere else, about things he couldn't have had imagine. They were all about an old man he didn't know. It took a second, but the man's face remained into his memory. His skull was about to explode under the pressure. He couldn't make a sound.He blenched. His scar was burning and his chick hurt. It took a moment to realize that Damien had just slapped him. The other boy was looking at him with a mix of worries, interrogations and fear. Feeling something running on his face, Harry found out that his scar was bleeding. He ran to the bathroom to stop it, be when he found the bandages it was already gone. He washed himself, changed his clothes and went back downstairs." What the hell was that! " gasped Damien"I don't know, Damy, I don't know."Harry was shaken. He sat on the couch to think. He wasn't sure about what was real and what wasn't. Inspecting his mind, he found the image of the old man."I had... a vision I think, something like that. It said that an old man is gonna come, and that we can't trust him.""Didn't you just dreamed? I mean a nightmare, and hit your face somewhere...""We will know. I have a very clear image of this man. It felt so real... If he is the one that come, I'll do a sign for you, and we'll know what to do. "Damien nodded. He had stopped wondering a long time ago about the possibilities of things to happen around his new brother, and all he could do was trust him. And none of them knew where their abilities stopped; they had to take every chance."It's not like we were going to tell everything to the first witch we met" he said ironically smiling, his only icy eye sparkling in amusement."It doesn't look like a good idea indeed" agreed Harry."And, may I say that I'm not aware of anything on magic or else. ""Do I even know you? "Asked Harry, a malicious glimmer in his green eyes.He was reassured that fear had gone from Damien's face. He couldn't possibly manage to get out of the situation without him, and in the end, he didn't even want to. To be alone, and he knew it better than everyone else, was the worst thing imaginable. Being alone was dooming himself to weakness and confusion, and Harry was a child that despised both.They didn't even finish their breakfast when Harry felt something at the back of his head. Magic. He made a sign to inform Damien and a few second later someone was knocking at the door.Harry went to open it. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- It was him. There was no doubt. A man of age, with a grand-fatherly face, a big white beard braided with elegance, a crooked-broken nose and sparkling baby-blue eyes looked at Harry behind his half-moon glasses, and mostly, the most fabulously horrifying robe one could have ever seen. He didn't even try to understand how the man was wearing the flashy orange, deep blue and pink while still looking honorable. He blinked and didn't have to fake his surprise as he intended to do so. The man was smiling at him with confidence."Hello, Harry,” he said. “May I come in?".Dumbledore. The name flashed into Harry's head. He could almost hear the other man again, he could almost feel his crimson eyes on him. Do not trust him. Harry let the man in."Harry, who's this?" He heard Damien say behind him."I don't know, he is not a friend of the family, but he knows my name," Harry said lightly.Damien nodded. He looked at the man with an apparent curiosity. Harry invited the man to sit on the couch."Do you want anything, Mr...""Dumbledore,” the man said while he held his hand for Harry to shake it. “Albus Perceval Wulfric Brian Dumbledore."Harry took his hand, preparing himself to keep a blank face. He does look like him... He heard the man think. He was curious, cautious. He was looking for something. He knew more tha- Harry broke the contact, partly because of the convenience, partly because he had what he wanted."I'll take orange juice if you please."That's almost cannibalism, Harry thought half amused, half horrified.He could feel the power of the man by the simple fact that he had made himself at home in a minute, without thinking for a minute about his own security. Turning his back to the man to get the juice from the fridge, he looked at Damien. Danger.Without changing his own expression, Damien stood still, playing the innocent little boy. It would have been perfect if the scar on his skull and his bony face didn't make him look like a wounded soldier- well more like a dead and resurrected one. Somehow, he managed to make his face look pleasant and friendly. He was very good at that.Harry gave the glass to Dumbledore and sat graciously in the opposite chair. The numerous wounds he had all over himself had made him aware of his body, and he controlled every part of it. Even with a shirt and jeans (he couldn't wear T-shirts even during summer because of the scars on his arms), he managed to be elegant; which was disturbing, considering his age.Dumbledore was looking at Damien with curiosity before returning his attention to Harry who was patiently waiting in the armchair."If you are here to see my uncle and aunt, I'm afraid that they left for the week.They won a trip in a newspaper contest."And they did win the contest, Harry had made sure of it. How sad, they had missed the plane and tomorrow, they would be waiting at the airport. Such a coincidence, nobody would be able to recognize them in a crowd...Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Damien smirk discreetly at the perfectly well-placed lie."Well, Harry m'boy, I am here to speak with you about a letter... but it may be better if your friend went home for a moment?"Harry had a shiver at the grandfatherly voice calling him ‘my boy’. Now that was insulting. His face didn't change from a polite curiosity, and he nodded at Damien. Of course, the other boy would not be far away."So, as I was saying, you received a letter from Hogwarts a few days ago. I am the headmaster of this school. It is a school for very special persons, just like you," Dumbledore declared.Harry hardly contained his burst of laughter. The man did think he was stupid, his name and titles were on the very letter that was sent to him, along with "Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry "."You're a wizard, Harry. See the things you can sometimes do, the strange things when you're happy, or scared? Well, that's it!" Continued the old man in his grand-fatherly voice. Harry could sense a bit of excitation in the sentence, like the man had waited to announce it in the most theatrical way possible. He looked content, and Harry gave him a bright smile, looking like a child at Christmas. The only reason he didn't show his real amusement to the man was the warning he’d had, and the feeling that the man was more than he showed."But I don't have any money for the school, Sir, and I don't think my family...""Don't worry about that, m'boy. You have a very well-filled vault in Gringotts – the wizards bank. Moreover, you were registered at Hogwarts since your birth." Harry's heart missed a beat. He was overflowed with the implications of this little sentence that the man had thrown with such little care. He managed to keep the amazed smile on his face."But how?" he asked. His voice wasn't as joyful as he wanted it to be."Well your parents were wizards, of course."Without letting Harry take the time to process the information, the old man continued on the same tone:"Well, I will send a professor of the school to help you get into the wizarding world before the classes start. We wouldn't want you to lose yourself while trying to attend school, would we?" Even if his first reflex was to refuse, Harry nodded. The man was going to send him another wizard, probably someone that he trusted, and hopefully someone who could give Harry information, not only about the entire world he had to discover, but about how Dumbledore wanted him to discover it."I have a question, Sir," he asked as the old man was leaving."Of course m'boy, what is it?""Why did you came here? I mean, you could have sent someone else, and I’m sure I'm not the only one in my position, and you surely have many other thing to do, so..." Harry did his best to look intimidated, eyes on the floor, his back bowed. It worked, as the old man put pitiful eyes on him and sat back on the couch."You see, Harry, you're not any wizard. You did some extraordinary things when you were just a baby. Tell me, do you know how your parents died?""A car accident."Harry knew it wasn't the truth, of course. He’d had access to some information in his uncle’s head, but the man didn't know much more than: "freaks killed for what they were, gladly."Dumbledore shook his head negatively."They were killed, like many people at that time, by a most powerful Dark Mage. And you, as a baby, you destroyed him. He gave you your scar,” he said, pointing towards Harry’s forehead. “You are a savior in the wizarding world, Harry, and I believe everybody already knows your name. You are our Golden Boy, aren't you?" Harry couldn't say anything, so he nodded. There was too much to think about, and every bit of information made him want to break everything around him. He wasn't pleased, he wasn't pleased at all. And he knew that his magic was going to slip out of him soon, and maybe wake the Dursleys up.The old man had to go. Now.He sent all of his feeling to Damien, hoping that it would help him contain his magic a little longer, and that the boy could think of a distraction. Only a few seconds after that, he heard a knock at the door, and the boy came into the house."I'm sorry to interrupt, but I forgot to take the book my father lent you the other day..." he said politely.Harry couldn't do anything else than admire his brother's capacity to act."It's OK, young man, I was leaving," Dumbledore said while heading towards the door. "I'll see you in September, Harry," he finally said cheerfully.Something fell on the floor above. Ignoring it the best he could, Harry held his hand out to say goodbye.That went well, he heard the man think, he might be useful...Breaking the link, the old man left the house with a last Santa-like smile, his outrageous robes flying around him.Harry let himself slide along the closed door. Things were breaking everywhere in the house, and a black smoke was surrounding him. He was hyperventilating from panic, hitting the floor with his hand in a desperate attempt to calm himself.It took him a long time to be able to rise off the ground again, but he did. He looked at the surrounding mess with astonishment. Furniture were upside down, the dishes broken everywhere leaving pieces of glass and porcelain all around the floor, stuck on the walls and even the ceiling. Harry closed his eyes.He knew it wasn't him. It wasn't his magic which had done that. His magic wasn't this messy, this brutal, even when panicking. But it wasn't safe to tell Damien; the boy was positively terrorized by what had just happened. The boy was shaking, walking all around, scratching his arms, muttering without end. Black veins ran along his neck and jaw, and drops of sweat dripped on his forehead. He wasn't looking well, and Harry felt remorse hitting his heart. It was his fault; he shouldn't have sent his panic to the other boy. He couldn't take it. Damien was sick. It was obvious, but Harry didn't know how much before now.Harry took his brother's hand and helped him sit on the couch, a hand on his back, whispering what he knew to be what he wanted to hear. The boy's mind was a mess, a chaotic storm of power and raw emotions."It was a close call..." he said when the other boy was finally able to listen."Yeah, and it may be a good idea to clean up the mess."Harry was relieved. As long as Damien was able to do sarcasm, he could still manage.He went upstairs to unlock the Dursley's room. It was a mess in here too. The Dursleys had fell on each other, and had obviously tried to crawl and open the door. A close call indeed.He made them go downstairs and clean up the house. Luckily, nothing irreplaceable was broken, and they could hide the wall's hole with furniture.Harry crossed Petunia's eyes. She was the only one that remained conscious, even if she didn't have any control on her body. It was her punishment. She liked to look, anyway. Harry didn't think that Damien had noticed it, not that he wanted him to.When it was all over, midday had passed, so the boys decided to made themselves a meal before discussing the information they had."So, what was the trigger?" asked Damien, his voice firm again."Many things. I'll start by the beginning. So, we had guessed right, and so had my vision – or whatever it was. The man, Dumbledore, is the headmaster of the wizarding school, in which I am supposed to attend as I was registered the day I was born.""But it means...""That my parents were wizards too, yes, I know, and the man confirmed that. It happened that they didn't die in a car accident, as my dear family repeated to me. They were killed by what the man called a Dark Mage...""Harry, I'm sorry...""It's ok, I'm ok, that is not the problem. I knew they were lying, I just didn't know the truth. This fact gives us much information: there is a clear distinction, if not for everybody, but at least for the man, between "dark", and I guess "light" magic, or politic, or whatever.""Yeah, it makes sense. But are you sure he said the truth?""He didn't lie, but it doesn't mean that he said the truth.""I see. Do you have the name of this Dark Mage, because he might certainly be a threat..." The boy's voice made his intentions clear: a threat isn't a threat if it is conveniently annihilated. Harry laughs at his brother's determination."Aha, and I have no doubt that you could protect me very well. But no, the old man implied that he was dead, he said that I destroyed him, when I was a baby. And yes, that's where things get difficult. So the man killed my parents, I don't know why, but let's just suppose for the moment that he was an evil man or something like that, somehow I destroyed him, getting out with only a scar on the forehead. Apparently, it made me some sort of legendary hero in his world, the man said, ‘that Golden Boy.’""Aaaand I see the problem.""Yes, it means that people will have expectations towards me. It means that they know things about me, or that they think they know things. I will be under the spotlights no matter what I do."Damien nodded. That was a problem; especially when you had as many things to hide and as many tempers to calm asHarry. Not even mentioning the voices."But there is something else," Harry continued. Damien looked at him with frank curiosity. It wasn't like Harry to be so touched by something, even if in the matter, facts were important and personal."If my parents were witches and I am a celebrity, the only way I ended up here is that someone wanted me to be here."Harry's voice slapped the air. He was furious, and calm, and it was the worst combination. Damien felt a shiver along his spine. Harry could be very scary, but when you had seen his shadows, he became death itself. Damien almost felt pity for the person that had done this to him – almost. Harry waved his hand to change the subject, as the Dursleys were cleaning the table in perfect synchronization."Anyway, a professor will come here to help me to get along with this new world. I will ask, but I don't think that you will be allowed to come at all. We have to think about what we will do after."The inevitable separation was a pit between them. None of them knew how to deal with life without the other, well not anymore."We will keep contact," declared Damien. "We cannot plan anything if we don't know anything about where we are going, so I suggest leaving this conversation until after your little trip." Harry nodded. He didn't think he could get so sad at the very idea of the separation, and he felt the same thing into his brother's mind."So we wait.""So we wait," answered Damien in echo.Silence fell on them like a cloth. They stayed, facing each other, as the warm summer's wind entered in the room by the open windows behind Harry, the Dursleys standing in line as usual while they didn't have any instructions."I'm going for a walk," Harry said finally. It was obvious that he needed to be alone."See you."Harry waved his hand and left the house.He went along the empty streets where every house was the same. Everything was calm, not a bird in a tree, not a man in the street. Of course, the disappearance of Paul had made a shock in the neighborhood, mostly because nobody could determine the cause of the death, and even a month after, there weren’t many children that were allowed to play outside on their own. Harry walked to a park and sat on a bench. He needed to think calmly, to make decisions quickly. But mostly, he needed to keep his mind clear from useless emotions. A woman in her mid 30s was sitting on the other side of the park, her son was playing with another kid on one of the structures. She looked bored as hell. He wished he could be bored as hell.She greeted him with a movement of the head. If she knew what he was, she would have been horrified. She would have taken her screaming children, telling them that he was dangerous and abnormal. But she didn't know, and she greeted him calmly, as the only adult in the area. Harry smirked at the irony. By the fact that he existed, he had enemies. And he wondered how many children didn't make it until they received the letter, how many children were sick like Damien; how many children were doomed because there was no letter for them. The marks that they had, the same that he had all over himself.But this woman, in front of him wasn't threatening. She was tacking care of two kids, and they looked happy.Harry shook his head and sat back on the bench. He sighed, and decided to go back home."I think we should do something to relax," he said to Damien who was watching TV absently. "How about a park or something. Spend time together, I mean, out of here...""That's a fucking good idea, brother!" The other boy exclaimed, already reaching for his coat. "How about a Zoo? After all, you were supposed to go there with them, that day...""I like the irony," Harry said with a smirk, while sending the Dursleys into their chamber. It was quite a long to go to the Zoo on foot, and they didn't have any money to spend on bus or taxi. But they did enjoy the walk. Of course, it became odd when approaching the town, and passing more people, they attracted attention. Well, Damien attracted attention. He used to be very ashamed about his face, his blind eye and scar, but now, he stood upright and supported the gaze of anyone who dared stare at him. He told Harry once that his face was the proof of how different he was, and that for now it should make him proud. He survived it. They both did.The Zoo was overcrowded, as expected, and they both sighed at the entrance."Two tickets, please, ma'm," said Harry politely while giving her the money."And where are your parents, or guardians, young man?"The woman was a grandma, but not the fine type. More the ones that scream about how degenerated this generation was while holding their little dog and their bag. Damien faked a sad look."We have none ma'm," he said. "They’re in heaven.""Oh my poor boys, I'm sorry! Here's your tickets."The orphan thing always worked, and Harry suspected that it was mostly because it wasn't a lie.They enjoyed seeing the giraffes, and lions, but the thing Harry liked the most was the reptiles. Damien never fully understood this fascination, but it was one in too many things he couldn't understand in this world, so he didn't mind.Because of this, they went to the vivarium. It was huge, and filled with snakes of all colors and shapes. Harry was so excited that he stuck his face against the windows to have a better look, and Damien watched him with amusement. It was one of the rare moments he could see Harry actually behaving like a child, and he allowed himself to be won over with excitement.Harry stopped in front of one of the biggest cages. A gigantic snake was sleeping inside, its pale green scales glimmering under the artificial light. It felt wrong, somehow."I know what it is to be locked in a cage..." he said softly.The snake looked at him, like his voice had awakened him. Harry watched it in shock."Can you hear me?" he said, unbelieving that he was actually talking to a snake. The snake nodded its triangular face."I didn't know snakes could talk... Do you talk to many people?" The snake said no with a shake from the head. If Harry didn't know about his magical possibilities, he would have thought he had lost it. Damien, you should come and see this! He said mentally.He was amazed by the snake, waiting for his brother to come to see if he could talk to it as well when a child pushed him on the floor."Look!" the child screamed, "The snake is awake!" And he knocked the glass repetitively.Harry could see the anger in the snake's eyes. He was annoyed. By the child, by the sound of his screams, by the fact that he had been thrown to the ground without even a look. The glass disappeared. The child fell into the water while the snake escaped, slowly getting out of the cage. It turned its face toward Harry, which was still on the floor."Thank you, little speaker. What is your name?" it asked. "Harry Potter." The snake looked at Harry like it had seen the devil for the first time, then shook its head."I'm Nagini. I'll talk about you to my master," it said while slithering away.Harry nodded, not even thinking about the fact that he was talking to a snake in front of everybody. He saw his brother smirking at the imprisoned boy, and Harry burst out laughing. His brother helped him to get back on his feet and they left as discreetly as possible. They went straight back home, talking about what just happened, mostly mocking the child. He had gotten what he deserved, and no harm was done to anyone. Once at home, they ate pizza and watched films. Harry's birthday was in a week, and they couldn't stop talking about that, so much that even the incident was forgotten. They finally fell asleep as usual, meaning on the couch in a very unnatural position, while the Dursleys were still standing in the kitchen, waiting for orders.The next week, they heard someone knock at the door again. Of course, they had felt him coming, and everything was prepared. Harry had consolidated his hold on the Dursleys in order to make them look alive; being absent conveniently two times was kind of suspect. Plus, he wanted to test the reactions of the witch who was supposed to introduce him to the magical world. Harry went again to open the door.It took a moment for him to understand that a wall didn't grow in front of his house, but that it was a gigantic man standing on the landing. Harry quickly let the man in."Hello, Harry," the man said. He had to lower his head to go through the door. He had black, big, buffy and shaggy beard and hair, and his clothes could make one wonder if he didn't kill a cow just minutes ago to put its skin on himself."Who are you?" Harry made Vernon said, behind him. The uncle did look horrified and shocked that someone dared pass his door without conforming to his idea of how tall someone could be, and Harry thought that it was one of his best works."My name is Rubeus Hagrid, the hunting guard and guardian of keys at Hogwarts, Sir. I'm here to take Harry to buy the supplies he will need for school."Vernon moved forward the man."He shall not go into this wicked place to learn magical treats! I won't allow it!""He will go to the best wizarding school, Hogwarts, which is directed by the best headmaster it has ever seen, Albus Dumbledore!""I will not let an old fool...""Do. Not. Insult. Dumbledore. In. Front. Of. Me." The giant said, threatening uncle Vernon with his pink umbrella.Well, that was clear. The old man had sent his little pet to fetch Harry, and the boy didn't think that this giant had more autonomy in his speech than uncle Vernon, but at least he didn't really look threatening. More like a big teddy bear with too much attachment for, presumably, people that had taken care of him. He made Vernon step back and grumble as he walked to the kitchen, while Petunia was still looking at Hagrid in a distinguished horror, holding her son against her.To control the three of them at the same time and make them do such complicated actions was tiring and Harry felt his control slip. Already, his cousin's eyes were empty.Luckily, the giant turned around."Come, Harry. Unless you want to say, of course," he said with amusement."Sir, can my friend come with us?"Damien was just next to Harry."Is he a muggle?" The giant asked with concern."Muggle?""Non-magical folks."He saw Damien tense under the insult."Well I guess that's what I am, then," he said calmly.They had taken the decision to hide Damien the night before. The boy didn't want to make his magic grow, and his power terrified him as much as the, well, muggles disgusted him."I'm afraid he cannot, Harry.""Ok, sir" Harry said. He said goodbye to Damien, discreetly made the Dursleys hide in the kitchen, and went out with Hagrid.They went to London, and entered a dusty tavern called the Leaky Cauldron. Even if Harry didn't see how a tavern could contain what he needed to attend school, he followed Hagrid without hesitation.The place was filled with people – wizards, judging by their robes and pointed hats, which were discussing around tables lighted by candles.Don't they have electricity? Harry asked himself. He couldn't understand: the place would have been welcoming with a few more lights, and if not windows, a single lamp would have made it. But no, it had to be candles. Well, it gave the place an atmosphere..." Hagrid!" exclaimed a man behind the counter. "Same as usual?""No, no, Tom, I'm on a business trip for Hogwarts. I'm taking Mr Potter here to Diagon Alley!"Hagrid tried to put his gigantic hand on Harry's back, and the boy barely avoided it by a step to the side. Hagrid didn't seem to notice it."By Merlin! That's Harry Potter!" yelled Tom.It took every control Harry had not to kill the man. Many witches came to greet him and shake his hand. He composed his face to the more polite expression, and responded with care. So, that was how much he was famous. He hadn’t realized it before. This was the best cover he could hope for. He was hidden under the spotlights. ‘Welcome back’, they said, ‘I can't believe I can finally meet you,’ they said. They loved him, well, they loved his image, his legend. What did Dumbledore said? Yes, that was it. The Golden Boy. He hated that title. He was feeling trapped, but at the same time, he knew that it was his way out of anything. He wasn't the Golden Boy. Be he could fake a bit of it.He noticed that all the eyes were glaring at his scar. He would have to hide it carefully.Finally, a tall man with a purple turban came to him."He-hello, Mist-ster Potter," he said." Professor Quirell! I didn't notice you!" shouted Hagrid.The professor nodded before turning back his attention to Harry. The boy felt his scar warming. It wasn't painful, but it was reacting. He rose an eyebrow."Good evening Professor Quirell, it is a pleasure to meet you," he said, his voice sweet as silk. He held out his hand, and Quirell shook it. The man's hand, which appeared to be shaking an instant before, became a firm grip.Two crimson eyes looked at him for an instant, from inside Quirell's mind.Harry's heart missed a beat, but his face didn't make a move. Quirell bowed his head."S-same, Mister Pot-potter." He said."Well, I think Hagrid and I should get going, but I'm looking forward to seeing you at school, professor," Harry said, keeping his own head as straight as humanly possible. Even in his muggle clothes, he did look aristocratic at this instant, and his eyes were slightly glowing in this unnatural green. In the penumbra of the room, the effect couldn't be missed. Quirell smirked discreetly.Hagrid, however, was leading the way to the pub's backyard, without noticing anything or taking time to the least politeness. After correctly saying goodbye, Harry followed him.Hagrid tapped a design on the wall's bricks, and they started to deviate from each other, revealing a big crowded street. That was it: the wizarding world.Welcome back, Harry. He heard.Thank you stranger in my head, he thought.Anyway, he had to get rid of Hagrid, as soon as possible. He only needed some information, and then space, freedom, and surely not a hand constantly trying to touch his back to push him forward.He waited for Hagrid to show him the different shops, and most importantly Gringotts, before planning his escape: the man wasn't bad, but god was he slow and he couldn't be missed in the crowd given how tall he was."I'm sorry Hagrid," Harry said in his most child-like voice. "But can't I go shopping alone? I know you took time off from your busy day for me, but, you know, it's an adventure...""Alright, alright, I understand. Just, don't go into Knockturn Alley," The giant responded with a bit of a hurry. "It is very infamous, and filled with bad people, you understand?""Yes, Sir.""Then go and have fun! Meet me on your way back at the pub, I shall escort you home, alright?""Yes!" Harry nodded enthusiastically. He didn't think it would be that easy to get rid of the man, even for an instant, but Hagrid seemed to be the type of person always thinking of two things at the same time, confusing both and finally never understanding a thing fully. Well, it wasn't quite his fault.Harry made is way to Gringotts; the first thing he needed was to know his resources. He entered in the biggest hall he had ever seen, well even if it wasn't that difficult as he almost never got out of the Durleys's. But this was huge, and overflowed with signs of wealth, marble and gold everywhere on the walls, chandeliers of crystal on the ceiling. The luxury of the place was outstanding. Harry was a bit intimidated, but he walked towards to the closest counter as if he owned the place."Excuse me, Sir, " he said to the strange creature that was behind it. He chose not to wonder what it was, as long as it looked civilized, but he took note to look it up later. The creature made him wait before raising its eyes."How can I help you?" it said with a nasal voice."I'm Harry Potter, and I'd really appreciate if you could show me how to access my vault, Sir.""And does Mister Potter have his key?" The creature answered with a raised eyebrow."I'm sorry, Sir, I wasn't informed that I would need a key to access it. Is there any other way...?""Well, I guess we can find something. Follow me, please."The creature disappeared behind the counter and made appeared near a little door on the right. Harry followed it into the corridors of light wood and marble to a little room, which appeared to be an office. They sat at each end of the desk. The little creature - it was at most the size of a 7 years old - handed him a paper, with his name on it, and a little and magnificently engineered knife."If you could put a drop of your blood on the paper, Mr Potter, I shall be able to verify your identity and therefore to give you access to your vault and properties." Harry nodded and obeyed. He cut his finger and let a drop of blood fall over it, then the creature took the paper back."As I see you are indeed Mr Potter, and that it is your first visit at Gringotts. Do you want us to check on your properties and titles too?""If you please, Sir." Harry's voice was firm but he was ecstatic. So he had more than money, and something made him think that he wasn't quite supposed to have access to all of these information."This," said the creature while holding a paper, "is the accounting of your vaults at Gringotts. If you may please wait, I shall be back with the other information."Harry nodded again and took the paper; he didn't know what to say. He wasn't expecting that, but the more he looked at the situation, the more possibilities he could see.The creature left quickly and he started reading.He actually had many vaults in the bank, which seemed to be united in one as the one that was in charge of them was...Albus Dumbledore.Harry gazed at the paper furiously, and the thing almost burnt right away. The man had taken his money. Harry had access to the Potter's vault, the Evan's vault, as a legacy, and a special vault from the ministry of magic for "The-Boy-Who-Lived". In the three of them, money was missing. Harry was glad that the little creature had left because the expression on his face at this very moment was nothing but pleasant. Yes, he was now rich, and it was a relief, but the old man had dared to take money, his parents money on the top of that.Calm... He took a deep breath.The little creature came back quickly, holding files in his little and abnormally thin hands. It gave him the files."You are eligible to the names of Potter, Evans, Peverell and Gryffindor. You are the only heir of the Houses of Potter and Gryffindor, therefore, you posses the Potter manor and every Gryffindor's properties and vaults; the amount of the fortunes and details are in the file. As you are an orphan, which means that there is no Lord Potter, Gryffindor and Peverell alive, you can proclaim your lordship, but you will only have access to your chairs in the winzemagot at the age of fifteen, and eligible to vote at seventeen. Do you want to proclaim your Lordship, Mr Potter?" The boy was stunned. He knew he didn't understand half of the implications of what was given to him this day. He had to be careful."I have a few questions first," he said, attempting to keep his voice calm."If you please.""First, I see here that Albus Dumbledore is, or was in charge of my wealth. I need to know if he can still make moves on my accounts, and if he can see what I decide to do with it. Then, I need to know the charges and goods that the title of lordship brings to me, how theses titles work, what are my rights on the properties, and finally, as you may tell by my outfit, I was raised by muggles, therefore I do not know the values of money here and cannot evaluate the numbers you gave me." The creature blinked. It didn't expect that from an eleven-year old, that was for sure. But it didn't expect the heir of two of the most important pure-blood houses to be raised by muggles either.It sat back on it's chair."Well, Mr Potter. You may want first to choose a private counselor, which means a goblin, such as I, who will follow your file specifically and, of course be held incommunicado.""This would be great, Sir."The Goblin left and another, dressed in richer clothes and a monocle on his right eye came and sat in front of Harry."My college informed me that you had a few questions. As you are one of our greatest clients, under the name of the Potter, Peverell and Gryffindor, I found it more suitable for me to answer them and ... to help you in the future. I am Greatflow, the current director of this place. So, let's start at the beginning. The wizard's money uses galleons, gold, silver and bronze. Ten Bronze equal one silver, etc. One bronze is 5 of the muggle money you use, do you follow me?" Harry nodded while trying to record every of those information in his memory. He was sure he could read about it and learn it more properly after, but the fact that he was in front of the bank director made him aware that he had to make a good impression, for whatever he would need him for later."About your Keeper," Greatflow continued in the same nasal voice that he seemed to share with all of his kind. "He still has a hand on your account until your political majority, which means fifteen. But, he will not be informed right away of what you are doing, and if I may say, the mail maybe slow to reach him.”Harry gave him a frank smile. The goblin didn't like Dumbledore, or he liked the interest of the best client of the two, but anyway this was a new card in his hand that he could appreciate justly."Now, we will talk about your titles and properties. Claiming your titles allow you to have the name, rights on the house and the political sieges that come with it. You will learn about the subtleties of that later, I think, but I can explain them to you now.""No thanks. Thank you, Sir, but I think I will do without it as I am only eleven and can have my rights on this, if I understood well, only on my fifteenth birthday. We already have a lot to talk about.""Indeed, Mr Potter, indeed. So, if you claim your Lordship nobody else will be able to claim it anymore as you will be declared the active heir of the house. Nobody can know that you claimed it unless you decide so or unless he or she comes to Gringotts claiming the same title. Of course, at your majority, you will have to handle the house and its funds. So, before we talk about the manor, do you want to claim the Lordship of the houses Potter, Gryffindor and Peverell?"The Goblin had said that without even breathing, and it was probably what had gave him his name. He considered the possibility of letting this go, it would be easier at least for his headache. But he would obviously need it. Titles mean power and social consideration, and for now, he didn't have any of these two. He agreed."Give me your hand, Harry James Potter, Lord of the houses Potter, Gryffindor and duke of Peverell."Harry gave the Goblin his hand, and after cutting his finger again, which had already healed, the creature put it on a paper almost black with writing. Then he took a box from a drawer in his desk. The box was golden and deep blue, with his initials craved on it. He opened the box and saw three rings inside. The goblin made him sign for him to put them on his finger. The first one was a simple translucent ring, probably in crystal, with a triangle relief. A soft light glow from the triangle while the ring was adjusting itself on his finger. Harry stood fascinated for a moment, but then again, he didn't want to look like a fool, or even worse, a child. Then, he took the second which was much more pretentious - all gold with ruby lions all around it, and a big blazon on the top, a griffon, harry guessed, roaring at... well, its enemies. Again, the ring adjusted itself to his finger, but without any light or such. Then, he took the third one with all the care and precautions he could. He may have had the names of the two others, and they were the proof of his birthrights, but this one was his father's. It was his real family, it was his name, it was all he didn't know about himself. It was toward this that he felt responsibility. The ring was in a bright silver, with the letter P simply carved on it. By putting it on his finger, Harry felt warmer. He was at his place, he was where he should always have been. The goblin that had waited in silence talked again, in the same tone:"Good. Now, we shall talk about your manor."When Harry finally got out of the bank, he was tired, content, his head full of plans and the sun was already high on the bright blue sky. He took minutes on the porch to calm himself and think logically. Yes, that was it. The first things he needed were clothes in order to blend into the crowd; right now he had a big "muggle" written on his forehead, just next to " The-Boy-Who-Lived-Please-Come-And-Shake-My-Hand". He went to the finest shop, as indicated by Mr Greatflow, the most discreet possible.The shop was a big room, decorated with taste, with dark wood on the floor, deep brown walls pierced with windows with colored glass. A tall man with the darkest skin Harry had ever seen was sitting behind a desk, in the middle of the shelves.With the help of the man, Harry bought a complete wardrobe in green and dark tones for himself, and an other one in blue and dark for Damien, he knew his sizes by heart as he was the one of the two making clothes when money started to ran out. He asked the seller to apply a spell which will allow the clothes to adjust themselves to him or Damien as they grew. He was relieved that this spell existed; his brother didn't seem to stop growing. He was now dressed in a beautiful but simple black tunic with silver details, black trousers, elegant boots and a cape whose collar rose up to half his neck. It wasn't that he didn't like colors, but black was discreet, genteel, could be worn with everything and it gave him the look of an adult. Now, he could allow himself to attract attention. Then he went to buy a cauldron, choose an owl, as it was recommended and gave it the name of Onyx, as it was all black, excepted for one silver feather on its right wing. It was truly beautiful. Then, he went to have his eyes treated. He noticed that without glasses, his eyes were even more stunning. Not in the beautiful kind of stun, but he didn't need to be beautiful, he needed to be taken seriously.He had to buy a bag with an extension charm, before he literally raided the bookstore. He bought what he needed for school, plus books about magical plants, creatures, witches, history of magic, everything he was wondering about. He was looking for something about the different laws on the muggles (even he didn't know what he could or couldn't do he was pretty sure that if someone knew he would be send to jail for the very least), when a blonde haired boy came next to him, picking a book."Excuse me, but I think that you took the wrong edition," Harry said politely, giving the boy the right book. He had a thin face, pale like he never got out and he was dressed in what Harry knew to be the finest fabric, his outfit could in itself be quite astonishing if he wasn't wearing it in such uncomfortable manner. Next to him was a man, older, his father no doubt, with longer hair of the same color, and a supercilious expression towards everything and everyone. He was holding a cane of black wood with metallic snake's head knob."Thank you!" the boy said in the high pitched voice of the boy which wants to look more important and mannered than they are. "I'm Draco Malfoy," He continued, offeringhis hand."It's a pleasure, Draco Malfoy," he said with a bright smile while he shook the boy's hand, which appeared to be only thinking every way of not disappointing his father. "I'm Harry Potter."He saw at the same time a bright exited smile appeared on the boy's face, and his father tense immediately. It was actually kind of funny, and he didn't expect to see both extremes in the same room, on faces that were so similar."Harry Potter!" shouted the boy. "I can't believe I have met you! So, you are going to Hogwarts with me, that's going to be great!""Calm down, Draco, behave yourself, please. Let the "Boy-Who-Lived" breath," interrupted the older Malfoy, one could feel the quotation marks in his voice."It's perfectly alright, Mr Malfoy, but I prefer to be called Harry. I don't consider a compliment a nickname pointing the fact that I had the luck to survive while others died. I don't even understand what I should be proud about in my fame," Harry said, his voice sharp as a razor, but still in the most perfect politeness.Mr Malfoy rose an eyebrow. Harry had chosen his words well. After hearing that, no one could tell who he was pointing to under the word of others. And no one was expecting such a politeness and word game from a boy this age, especially the Golden Boy.The fact was that Harry had a high awareness of that."We shall see each other at Hogwarts, Draco Malfoy," the boy continued, switching to his sweet and precious tone. "But now, I shall be going, I have many things to buy yet. Farewell, Mr Malfoy."As he said the word, he let the surface of his magic slip through his constant control, making his eyes glow in a gloomy-green light that the oldest Malfoy knew too well. The man instinctively took a step backwards and turned pale, even if his face didn't move at all.What a wily man, Harry thought with amusement. He almost felt sorry not having shook his hand, but he may be able to have a more complete idea of the man's mind later on.The only thing he had still to buy was a wand; he had voluntarily kept this one for the end. He wanted to think about the possibility of giving a wand to Damien. It could help the boy control his magic, but Harry had the presentiment that it wouldn't be helping at all. It was clear that he was the only one of the two studying, and he couldn't see his brother going to a muggle school alone without imploding.Harry shivered. The image was actually far too accurate. Yes, before that, he had to know what was happening to the other boy. He never saw things like this on muggles; and it was obviously magic-related. But on the other hand he couldn't talk about it to anyone, because a lack of control means danger and people tended to eliminate danger by any way possible. So, it was his own responsibility, and he would have to work on it quickly.He went to Olivander's. The interior was dark, austere, and seemed a bit neglected. It was a narrow, deep room, with high shelves where thousands of boxes of every color, all equally dusty, were piled up, reaching the ceiling of the room, and a unique wooden chair. There was no one in sight. Harry was about to ring the little bell on the counter when a man suddenly appeared on a rolling ladder, probably in the attempt to make the client jump in surprise. Harry didn't make a move, but an attentive observer could have seen the air get disturbed around him, and maybe the discreet but firm movement his hand made toward the dagger hidden in his pocket. Even with his powers, Harry felt better with a real weapon, mostly because it couldn't blow up in his hand by accident, but also because old habits died hard."Ha! Mr Potter, I was surprised you did not see me sooner."He descended from his ladder with surprising agility and began to rummage through the piles of boxes, mumbling. Harry didn't even try to question the man who was apparently in his own world, but he had read, while browsing his book, that he was the best in the country, and one of the most famous in the world in his own specialty."Here, here, try this one." Harry was nervous. He didn't know the reaction of his raw magic on further control, and he took the wand like he would have taken a loaded revolver."Come on, give it a wave!" Olivander said impatiently, giving the boy an odd look.Harry obeyed, doing a movement of the hand. A whole row of the shelf shattered with a thud."No, definitely not!" Olivander whispered disappointingly before going back mumbling to his shelves.Harry didn't quite understand what had happened, but he was sure of something: Damien will never put a single foot here, if not for his own safety, at least for every Londoner's.Olivander made him try a few others wands and Harry felt quite uneasy with the man's difficulties to find him one. He certainly didn't have anything to say about the man himself, but the belief that he was somehow unnatural, even for a wizard, never left him."Maybe... No, that can't be... But I wonder..."The man came back with an emerald green box in his hands. Harry noticed that he had stopped to look at him in the eyes. He didn't like that, he didn't like that at all. Visual confrontation and direct contact were his only way to assure himself that there was no danger. Not that the little old man seemed slightly threatening, but on the first look, nobody could tell that a man like Vernon had the strength to project an eleven-year old boy over a room with a single hit of his foot. And this man was a wizard. Harry put himself immediately on a defense position, but the other man was only taking carefully out another wand with his fingertips. Harry took a deep breath, he would have to be careful not to overreact on magic, or someone might ask questions. Maybe he wasn’t as tranquil as he thought he was about the Dursleys. He was still feeling their presence at the back of his head, waiting for orders.All of his attention returned suddenly to the wand Olivander was presenting to him. He was hypnotized. Without touching, it, he could feel the magic echos all over his body, he could almost hear it sing. He had forgotten everything and took the wand as if it always belonged to him. No, it was just that it had effectively always belonged to him, just waiting for him to come. A warm golden light bloomed from his bare hands to the wand, and a strong but calm wind made papers fly away across the room while his own magic radiated around him.When the light reabsorbed into the wand, Harry raised his head to look in Ollivander's eyes. The man couldn't contain a worried expression on his face, but his mind was blank in horror and... curiosity? Harry could only read the bottom of his thoughts, but he felt countless memories and knowledge accumulated among the years starting to move behind them. Harry chose not to insist, he didn't know if a wizard could actually feel him in his head, and it would be a most unwelcoming rudeness if so."This is strange, very strange...""What is strange, Sir?" Harry asked, his apprehension running back."Well, you see, I remember every person that has bought a wand from me. What is strange is that the phoenix that gave his feather for your wand gave another feather,, which happened to be the wand that gave you this scar..."Harry felt a wave of pride, but it wasn't his. It was distant, hazy, but was there nonetheless. Even if this information gave him more apprehension towards himself, he couldn't help but to smile. Oh, it was a bitter-sweet smile, but it was enough for Olivander to look at him in pure horror. Harry saw it, and went out. He shouldn't have let his emotion take the best of him, certainly not in front of the man, but he couldn't do anything about it right now.Then, he went towards Knockturn Alley. Of course, he would go there, forbidden knowledge was all his life and interest. It was an advantage in every situation, but even more, it was what some didn't want him to see. And if Harry could do something, it was necessarily what he wasn't supposed to. It felt like an adventure.The alley was dark, cloudy, like the dark mages felt obligated to make everything around them gloomy and dusty, but most surprisingly poor. It was obvious that it had the purpose to get rid of the ones which didn't have anything to do here, but still. Harry pulled his hood over his head. He went to a small shop to buy two fighting uniforms, he needed to study them later on. Then he was attracted by the biggest shop of the alley. On the pediment, it was inscribed in dirty gold letters: Borgin and Burkes. The shop was... well just like the alley.Harry wandered among the racks covered in things he didn't know, gems, jewels, flowers, animals, books. He was looking at the books when his eyes were attracted to a magnificent egg. It was about the size of the boy's hand, iridescent, slightly glowing in the dark."Hello, you." He said, moving his hand towards the egg. He heard something to knock under the shell and suddenly small cracks formed on its surface. If he had turned around, he would have seen the seller dropping the small orb he had in his hand at the hiss Harry made. The man couldn't see the small boy behind the shelves, but was not reassured by the sound at all.A small triangular head pointed through the hole of the shell. The creature opened her eyes, bright green eyes, and gave Harry a confused look."There, there, it's ok." Harry took the small snake in his hand, afraid to hurt her. It was a her, for sure. She wasn't longer than his middle finger, and so thin! Harry couldn't help but to feel immediately protective towards her. The baby rose its little head and pulled out her tongue on Harry's skin, then immediately rolled herself in a ball in the hollow of his hand. "Waaarm..." Harry smiled tenderly. He carefully took the pieces of the shell, put them in a box and went to the seller. Never letting the little snake out of his hand, he came back for the book and put them aside the box on the counter."It will cost you a lot, boy; the egg is very rare – almost extinct, and the books are old, especially the ones with the strange runes on them." Harry took a moment to understand what he meant, for him the books were in entirely in English.Now that was a mystery."I'll buy them all. Do you have any document on the snake please?""The sna-"The man's eyes widened as he saw the tiny snake into Harry's hand. He shook his head, then gave him what he asked for, and Harry could almost hear him sigh in relief as he left. Harry sat down on a step and untied the hem of his sleeve wide enough for the little snake to fit in it; he couldn't carry everything with one hand. It was almost 4 pm when he went back to the pub. He didn't have to look for Hagrid as the man could be seen from miles away.They sat together talking about little things, and if Harry didn't fully enjoy the company of the man, he was touched by his candor- the man seemed truly happy about Harry's new discovery of the wizarding world and his arrival at Hogwarts. Harry was upset that the man kept mentioning Dumbledore, but he quickly understood why: the headmaster had saved the man.Harry didn't know if it was some sort of twisted debt or a true act of care, but the facts remained, and were the proof of Hagrid's loyalty. Harry always admired loyalty, in any circumstances.They sat a moment in silence. "Hagrid. You know the name of the man that gave me... this." Harry said calmly, while running a finger over the scar on his forehead.The other man opened his mouth in surprise. "Don't lie, I know you do. Dumbledore... explained to me most of what happened, but he never named him. I'm sorry to ask, but I need to know, you understand..." Harry whispered accentuating the child's tone of his voice.The man nodded with a sad face."Yeah, yeah I understand. There is something you must understand, Harry, and it's very important. Not all wizards are good. Some turned bad, really bad... Years ago, on of them started to gain powers, gathering followers around him, luring them into dark..." That was it. Harry was bored. Too much emphasis, not enough facts.Come on, what was he, a ten-year old?He almost laughed at himself. Yeah, right, he was eleven."... his name was Vol- vol-"Hagrid took a deep breath. Now, Harry was actually worried, if the name itself of the man could inspire so much fear even years after his death. "Voldemort," he finally spat out, looking around him to check if nobody had heard him.Harry said nothing. The name of the man wasn't that important, but Hagrid's reaction ... Maybe all the emphasis was there for a reason. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- It was around 7 pm when Harry got back. He almost cried when he opened the door. Damien had decorated all the house with wreaths of all colors, put little notes all over the walls. A sweet music was running, and Harry could smell his favorite food in the oven. His birthday. He had forgotten it, but not Damien. Harry felt his heart burn with emotion. For the first time, someone had remembered his birthday. He put his new things on the stairs, and let the box with the little snake, which had fallen asleep during his way back, on a shelf, and started reading the notes, written in a childish and shivering way."You will never be alone.""You are the best brother.""You saved my life.""Happy Birthday, little one!"It went on and on and when Harry arrived into the kitchen he was actually crying from pure joy. He jumped into his brother's arms, hugging him and jumping at the same time. He didn't even feel his magic slowly expanding around him. It was only when he heard Damien's gasp that he saw what was happening.All the lights in the electric wreaths had come loose from their threads and were flying all over the room, their bulbs forming the body of butterflies which illuminated each object with a colored glow. The two boys stared in awe, and Harry didn't know what made him happier: the wonderful butterflies, or the reflection of their lights into his brother's happy eyes. His dead eye seemed to be resurrected by the light and recovered the glimmer it never had over the white veil that covered it. It was a fairy tale.They just stayed like that, sitting on the floor, looking at the butterflies in each other's arms until an alarm rang. Damien stood up and ran for the oven before the food started burning. Harry went to take the baby snake in his hands. The little thing hadn't even woken up, but it stretched in ease when it went back on the warm boy's skin."There is someone I want you to meet!"He came back through the field of butterflies as Damien rose his head from the dish he just took out of the oven. He rose his eyebrow, his face sweetly illuminated by the butterflies slowly floating around, some resting on his back and his shoulders. Harry stopped. Damien looked like an angel. Usually, his face gave him an odd look, with his blind eye and the scar running from his temple to the back of his necks, his black hair only on one side, but now, he had wings of color. It was wonderful. For the first time, Harry's magic had created beauty."You're beautiful," the boy whispered.Damien looked around as he couldn't see who Harry was talking to, before understanding that he was talking to him. He shook his head in disbelief, not even close to understanding how he looked at this instant. It didn't cross his mind that Harry wasn't joking. You are . Harry said in his head while crossing his eyes.Damien gave him an odd look before noticing the little snake in Harry's hand. The little creature was looking at the butterfly with wonder, before coming back to the boy's hand." Waaaarm" she hissed, cuddling in his palm.Harry smiled while Damien gave it an, "Awwww." Harry sat on the armchair, keeping the little thing against his chest."Well, there are a lot of things we need to talk about. But first, we have to give this little thing a name.""Is it a boy or a girl?" Damien asked, kneeling next to Harry to have his face at the level of the little silvered-colored snake."A girl."Damien held out a finger to the tiny triangular head so that the snake could smell it with his forked tongue while thinking. The boy was surprisingly literate. He could recite hundreds of poems and legends. He liked them, the stories. The boy once said to Harry that it was the only thing that kept him going before he came. It was like looking at a window knowing you could fly through it, it was like traveling into ideas, into someone else's dreams, feeding oneself with emotion you could never have."Ananta." He said with a smile. "Why?" "It is the snake of the infinite. It represents the eternal beginning, immortality. It is the pillar of the universe... Something small and gigantic, monstrous and stunning..." "What is the one-eye human saying?" asked the little snake in an almost indistinguishable hiss. "We are trying to give you a name." Harry answered.Damien blenched at the sound."What did you just do?" He asked, trying to mask his surprise."Well that's one of the things we need to talk about. It appeared that I can talk to snakes and understand them..." He had said it like it was casual, and Damien didn't even want to ask questions.Stuff happens."Well, what do you think about the name?""I like it, but let's ask her." "So, little thing, we were thinking about Ananta. Do you like it?" The snake seemed to think about it before acquiescing with energy."Did she just nod?" Asked Damien, not believing his senses anymore."Told you!" The two boys were so amazed they burst out in laughter. Now that was magical. Damien went back to his dishes as Harry set the table, the little snake comfortably resting in his hood. Once the dinner was served, they started talking. Harry let the baby slither on the table to grab a few bites of meat. He didn't think that she would like cooked meat, but she actually started making little noises of contentment as soon as she tasted it, agitating her little body in all direction, discovering glass, food, metals, wood, water, and everything around her. She always returned quickly into Harry's sleeve to get warm, but couldn't help but to go explore the table which, since she was no bigger than the child's finger, seemed huge.Harry talked about the books, everything he had seen, the different alleys, the clothes he was wearing, promising to show Damien his own later on; the books, the forbidden arts, the owl (which was now out of her cage, preening its feathers on the top of the fridge), the people, the Malfoys, Hagrid, his legacy, his new fortune. Damien listened to him, drinking his every word, his smile growing larger at every news. Harry didn't talk about Voldemort; he didn't want to ruin his brother's happiness, and it could wait. Dead men cannot hurt anyone. And only at the end of all of that, he talked about his gift for Damien."There is something else. In my heritage, I had money, titles, but it wasn't all." Harry teased. "It seems that we have a manor."Damien fell of his chair under Ananta's dismayed look.Damien finally sat back, his chair on the right angle, looking at him with a mix of curiosity, impatience and frustration."We will be able to move in tomorrow if we wish to. I don't know what it looks like but it's ours...""But it's your heritage...""No. It's our home." Harry's voice didn't leave room for contradiction.This time it was Damien who ran into his arms. The boy kissed his cheek and started dancing all over the living room. It was incredible how graceful he could be when no one was looking at him but Harry: his vaulted back straightened up, his limbs seemed to find their place and moved agilely, his gray eye glimmering, his laugh rising in the air. He could have been a dancer. He was moving along with the butterflies, and soon the little creatures started to follow each of his movements, extending his arms into wings, his spinning into a whirlwind of colors." A home! We have a home!" The boy shouted happily on and on.Harry couldn't help but to join him into his ecstatic joy, jumping on the couch, jumping all over really, laughing, throwing pillows to the other boy. They couldn't really do a pillow fight for obvious reasons but they liked to throw them at each other across the room.They sat back on their chairs when they finally felt exhausted, but a smile couldn't leave their faces. The butterflies were back to being normal wreaths, but they didn't care.They went back to their room, not caring about the dishes. Harry put some cotton at the bottom of the snake's box, then a piece of tissue over it to make it like a bed, and he put the box on his nightstand, while Damien was checking on the Dursleys, giving them food and sending them to shower." Ananta wants to sleep with the speaker !" moaned the little snake "I know, but you are too small, I'll risk crushing you during my sleep..." "That's not true! Ananta is strong! Ananta is big!" The little serpent showed her little hooks to emphasize his words.Harry laughed at her antics before threatening to send her to sleep in the kitchen if she didn't stop complaining. Of course, these were empty words, but the little grumbling snake went back into her box."It's really strange when you talk like that." Damien said while lying in the bed next to Harry's."Yeah I know, but I don't even hear it when I change the language myself so... it's weird for me that it is weird for everyone around...""Yeah, well, one thing over the top. We may be a little out of shape to know?" "Well, I've heard it somewhere..."Damien laughed.Harry laid back and turned off the light._______________________________ The taxi driver looked at them like they were crazy when they asked him to stop in the middle of nowhere. Well, they could easily agree with him themselves, so they didn't make a comment. They walked for a long time before finding the village that was indicated to Harry. It was a small, but beautiful little town. They continued to walk before finally seeing the grid that was circling the manor.The two boys were wearing similar outfits: black trousers, a shirt with long sleeves, deep green for Harry and blue for Damien, and a cape that reached their waist. It was a bit warm for the summer's weather but they were used to it.As Harry was told to do, he put his hand on the door's bars and said out loud:"I, Harry James Potter, heir and Lord of the House Potter, ask for entrance into the manor for myself and for my trusted, Damien Alexander Lewis."He felt a tingling in his hands as the wards tested his identity, and the door opened. There must have been an invisibility charm because a splendid manor suddenly appeared about twenty feet away. It was more than they could have imagined. After a quick glance at each other, they started running to the door. Onyx flew away to the roof.The hall was immense - almost the size of the Dursley’s house. In the centre, between two pillars, which were in reality gnarled trees with glowing red leaves, a staircase led to the two wings of the manor. The floor was covered with a carpet of red and gold, delicately woven with motifs representing lions and griffins fighting, as well as sorcerers projecting colored sparks. An Oculus poured its light, which fell in vertical rays, so that when a leaf fell, one could say that it was raining gold.With pride, Harry clapped his hands and a little house elf popped in before him. Damien didn't even jump in surprise as he was still mesmerized by the view. The little creature bowed in front of Harry. Greatflow had explained to him what they were, but Harry didn't imagine them like that; so small, with a bit of craziness in their big globular eyes."Master Potter! How glad we are that you finally came!"Harry smiled at Damien's confuse look."What is your name?""My name is Gladis, Master Potter.""Well, Gladis, this is Damien. He will stay here with me, and I want you to consider him as a member of my family, am I clear?" Harry said sweetly, amused at the elf's joy."Yes, Master Potter!"."Now, could you give us a tour of the manor?""I'd be glad, Master Potter!""Please, call me Harry when we are alone."The elf nodded.Harry was glad the elf immediately recognized him as the master of the house. Greatflow had explained to him that he wasn't supposed to have access to his rings and properties before his majority, but considering that he was the only heir alive, didn't have a magical place to stay and had every chance to be persecuted by black mages, plus that he was the Boy-Who-Lived, the ministry had made an amendment for him to take some charges earlier. Harry couldn't believe his luck." Where are we, Speaker?" asked Ananta, finally getting out of his sleeve. She was scared of the cars and must have fallen asleep in the process of hiding."This is our new home, little thing." "Is there stuff to eat?" "Plenty!" Harry laughed at her priorities. She seemed happy of the answer and went on his neck to look at the place around them. "It smells good and it's warm and there is food. Ananta likes it here!" "She said she like the place." Harry answered to Damien's curious look. "Who would not?"Harry nodded happily."We may go, Gladis.""There are twenty bedrooms in the manor,” Gladis said as they went to the right wing of the first floor. “Without counting the king and the queen room, of course."The boys looked at each other in disbelief.The corridors were pierced by colored-glass windows representing different creatures that Harry had never even heard about. They passed huge bedrooms, all decorated in the same warm tones, before accessing the king's one. It was - well - royal. A large four-poster bed of red silk and light wood was standing in the centre of the room, and a large desk finely chielled had been put under the large window which faced a luxuriant garden. The room had its own bathroom, even if it was in the XIX century style and technologies. It also had a hidden door that led to the queen's room, which was quite similar except for the bookshelves instead of a desk. The other wing of the first floor were the other parts of the rooms.The second floor had what was described to them as a tower of astronomy, surrounded with a circular training room. They passed it quite quickly partly because of their excitement, partly because they didn't want to think about fighting between wizards right now.Then, the house-elf led them on the ground floor. There were two doors on each sides of the stairs: the right one led to the biggest (and only) library that the boys had ever seen; in fact somehow the library was running on the two uppers levels. They had to control their urge to stay inside the room and continued the visit. The other part of the ground floor was entirely occupied by a ball room. Again, it was just... vast. The room had a polished black marble floor whose veins shone as if the floor was alive. Four pillars sprang towards the ceiling in vaults of chiseled stone. Tacking back on the hall, there were two other doors on the right end left wall, the two of them leading to the richest living room they had ever seen.Damien could not help but take his friend by the waist, and, ignoring his indignant air, he made him waltz to the other end, singing an air that Harry knew only too well. At one point, he stopped protesting and started laughing while twirling all around the room, imagining wizards in their expensive robes and pointed hat, and the murmurs of soft voices gossiping and plotting, and even the aggressively extravagant colors of Dumbledore swirling under the confused looks of the guests. He withdrew his gloves and sent the picture to Damien. They both had to wait a few more minutes to be able to walk without bursting out of laughter right away.Gladis finally led them to the first basement, where the kitchens, the Potion room and the sanatorium were. She, as her voice indicated it was a she, told them that there was a second basement(a cave actually) but as it hadn't been cleaned for almost twenty years, she preferred not to lead them there, and they had to agree that it was better. There was an herbology garden in the park that had been well preserved, but they were too tired to go check it (and they didn't even know what herbology was for.) They went back to the hall and sat on the stairs, looking around with so much content that they couldn't express it with words."Tell me Gladis, how many house elves are working here?""You... you mean that there are others?" Damien asked, incredulously.Harry smiled with knowledge."There are ten house elves here, Master Potter. Three at the kitchen, three for cleaning the house and keeping it in order, three for the gardens, and myself at your personal disposal." "Thank you, Gladis. Can you call the staff please?" "Yes Master Potter!" The little elf said before popping away. "You like it don't you?" Damien said with a smirk.Harry looked at him with a dare."When they call you "master"..."Harry laughed."Yes, I think we can claim that I like it. But you are their master too, now, you know." Damien shook his head, and Harry squeezed his hand. That was a fucking improvement of lifestyle, but it wasn't what their emotion was about. This place was going to be their home. Not a home they stole, not a home still full of screams, not a place where they had to watch all of their actions. No, here was their sanctuary, and for the first time they allowed themselves to think about it.Freedom.The ten little elves popped right back in a ceremonial line in front of the boys. Greatflow had told Harry what he needed to say at first, and the green-eyed boy was glad for it, because he certainly didn't want to pass for a fool in front of his family's servants on the first day."Me and this young fellow, whom I want you to consider as my equal, will be moving here in the week. There are only the two of us and we aren't very ceremonial. So, I'll only ask of you a few things. Gladis, you will help us move our things here, into the king and the queen's rooms." He said, suddenly taking the role of the Lord he was. (And Damien had to admit that he was fitting in it very well). "Which are the three elves taking care of the kitchens?""Us, My Lord!" said a new elf, quite smaller than the others, two of his kin surrounding him. "What is your name?""Sweel, Master Potter. And this is Mya and Nan.""Great. So, as we are only two we won't give you much work from now on. Damien here will decide on the everyday menu, and I want you to tell me if anything is missing. You already have access to a part of my account in order to buy the food. We don't need complicated things unless we have a visitor, and in that particular situation I will myself give you instructions.""Alright, Master Potter.""Then, I guess you three are the ones taking care of the gardens?" He asked to the three elves with obvious marks of grass and dirt on their faces. The three of them nodded politely. "Good. I don't know many things about magical gardens, but just know that we both like flowers," he said with a smile, as the three little creature were already looking at each other the head full of ideas to content their masters. "Then the three of the house." Harry said, turning to the last elves, which were luckily cleaner than the others. "As you heard, I need you to prepare the king and queen bedrooms. When this is finished, I'd like you to start refitting the second basement. Now, all of you, I'll give simple rules of life: nobody, except those I clearly specify, is allowed to enter the manor. If someone trespasses I want it to be reported to me immediately. Nothing that happens here can be heard or told outside of these walls. When the second basement is completed, none of you will be allowed to go in there except for Gladis, or if I ask you to, or if there is an extreme emergency. I'll ask you to give me a list of all your names to memorize it, and to note where and when you buy the food we eat. Plus, I have this little lady here that is going to need special treatment. I'll give Gladis a paper with what she needs. Her name is Ananta and she must be treated with all the care you would give to a child of mine," he continued as the little snake rose her head towards the elves. "I will need a map of the house including the secret rooms we didn't see today and the secret passages, and a standing for my owl in my room."He took a long breath as he had said it all without breathing, not wanting to forget anything. The little elves were looking at each other, almost jumping in excitement."Thank you, that will be all," he finished with a wave of his hand.All the little elves popped out, except for Gladis."Gladis, I'll need you to give me information on the nearest village. And by that, I mean if there are wizards, magical incidents, and the reputation of the family in the neighborhood," Damien requested."Yes, Master Damien." The little elf said while bowing. They took a taxi and went back home in content silence, the taxi driver still looking at them like they were out of their mind, especially when he saw the owl on the shoulder of the one-eyed boy and the other petting a little snake.When they arrived at the Dursley's home it was already late, they didn't notice that they had passed so much time at the manor. And they still had a lot to talk about. Their happiness had led to a strong sense of their new responsibilities and the sad feeling of the fatality that was approaching.They both sat, exhausted, on their usual armchairs. Now, they had to make a decision about the Dursleys, which were actually cooking behind them. What happened to the young boy- what was his name again? Paul, yes, Paul. It was defense. Maybe a bit violent, maybe he didn't have to die, but he attacked them. And Damien's father was still alive. But the Dursleys weren't attacking them now. They were as obedient and quiet as always. It was a necessity for the safety and comfort of the boys, but it wasn't fair. The more they thought about it, the more they understood it. No, that was murder.They ate in silence. They didn't need to talk to understand each other's thoughts. Harry wasn't worried about moral; but he was about Damien. The other boy would not be able to bear something like this, as Harry hardly could, and it was his family. Deep down, he knew that his decision was already made, but somehow he still thought about it. Ananta, feeling that the boy was worried, was rubbing her head on the boy's hand, sweetly hissing."You will go to the manor tomorrow, and install our stuff," he said simply to his brother. There was no need of further explanations, there was no room for contradiction in his voice. Damien nodded, and they went to bed, leaving for the first time the Dursleys sitting in the living room.They called Gladis early the next day, after having closed Damien's old house. The little creature explained to them that she could teleport them around if they took her arm. Damien went with her and the stuff they wanted to take with them at the manor, and Harry was finally alone with his "family".He took a deep breath, but he was actually serene. It was only a last goodbye to a life of weakness and pain. It was only time to move on, and to finally get the revenge he was unconsciously still seeking for.With nostalgia, he made the Dursley clean the house and eat the food that was left, not much, almost not enough for a meal. Then he sent them to shower, taking theusual well care of closing his mind as he didn't want to see it, then, after putting every furniture in its original place, he started.He made them lay on the biggest bed, Petunia between her son and her husband. He loosened the control link he had on her and an expression of terror and disgust appeared on her face. She was crying, but he didn't let her talk.He sat on the edge of the bed and looked at her with some sort of sad tenderness, and a bitter-sweet smile on the face."You know, I don't hate you."His voice was soft, almost a whisper. It was the voice parents used to send their children to bed."But It doesn't mean that I can forgive you. You are my only family, you know. But you did nothing. You know, for years I used to think that you liked it, but now I understand. It is not a question of taste... you just didn't care enough to do something."He stopped as Petunia's eyes were wide with silent terror."I wonder what she was like... my mother... You never told me much about her. I like to think that, somehow, she wasn't like you. You don't have her eyes. I've found a photograph in the attic... Well I don't have her eyes either, but you... I don't know. I don't know why it ended up like this."He shook his head to get the thing out of it. He was feeling something at the back of his mind, watching placidly, in silence."I wonder if you were sad when she died?"He looked at her. She had been."Oh. Well, that only raises more questions. But I don't have time for questions, now, Petunia. I must move on, you know? It's not against you, it is for me that I'm doing it. You hurt me too much." He let his stare cover the family for a moment. The closed shutters gave the impression that the night had already come. It reminded him of the night, not that long ago, but which seemed to be in another life."You will not hurt anymore. None of you."He laughed sweetly. Petunia was still staring at him, but now there was some sort of acceptance in her eyes."I'm not going to kill you Petunia, for you never hurt me directly. No, your fate will be more... cruel, but fair. These two will not be able to move, as I burned all of their link between the body and the mind. They are not really conscious. I'd like to wake them up, but I can't. I believe I was a little too upset when... well when it happened. I'm just..."He stopped as his voice was shaking. It wasn't sadness, nor guilt or fear. It was something far more complex."I'm going to let you rot, Petunia, just like you did to me. In a few days, they will die. You will see them die, just like you saw me die, bit by bit. Then, it's going to be ugly. And you will see it all. At one point, you will be so hungry that you may consider eating anything, maybe your own tongue, maybe one of the corpses, but you will not be able to move. But don't worry; in a week or two, you will be dead. A relief, isn't it? I didn't even have it, the knowledge of when the pain would stop."He smiled at her. This time, it was a frank smile, the first and last he ever gave to his aunt."Farewell, aunt Petunia." He whispered, closing the door one last time.He took his time to close the home, cut electricity and water. He had sent letters to work and administration if anyone was to be alarmed by the disappearance. Dudley was sick, something very bad. He had to stay at home. Well, his mother would do everything to stay with him of course, and it wasn't like she had a job. Vernon will send in a week a letter of resignation, pleading that he couldn't be out of the home knowing in what state his son was. And all will be well. After one last look at the house, he called Gladis to take him home. "Speaker is home! Speaker is home!" The little snake jumped on Harry's hands. She had been hissing since the very moment Harry had put a foot back on the manor, but Damien didn't let her go out of her box, fearing she would get lost or someone would step on her accidentally. She was already a bit bigger than she used to be, but it didn't mean much.Harry took her and she wrapped around his wrist like a small bracelet of scales. That might be useful to take you at school, he thought, surprised that he didn't have the idea earlier. Well, he had had other things to think about. Once again, he was stunned by the beauty of the hall, and he had the feeling that he would need a lot of time to get used to it. He nodded at Damien who was going down the stairs to greet him.The topic of Harry's family was never mentioned again.They didn't have much time left before the separation. They went back to Diagon Alley to buy Damien his own owl, considering that he would need independence, it had only one eye just like its new master. Damien called it Ibis.They settled well in the manor. The canopy that the elf had called the Herbology Garden was actually a piece of art. Damien even recognized some forbidden artists of the XVIIIth century in the constructions, but Harry didn't have this knowledge and only found it beautiful. He decided to renovate the piping and to look out for electricity (even if he didn't know how to install it in the manor yet). Looking at the map the elves had made, they found a little room at the back of the library. It could only be opened by the one with the Potter's ring. Harry made it his office. It only had a desk, empty shelves that could be locked and a filing cabinet.Damien started working on the muggle laws as Harry concentrated on what he was supposed to learn at school. It appeared that one of Harry's grandparents was actually a lawyer, which gave them all they needed on the subject; actually far more and more complex things than they could dig out in so little time. But they learnt something: witches were obsessed with blood. They had great discussions about it. It was the reason Damien had gone through the cracks: they didn't want to look on muggles. They had the feeling that they had touched a very important subject, therefore they decided to dig more into it. Harry understood that the system of progenitor was what gave him his social importance, but it was also excluding Damien from the political society.Harry couldn't sleep. He wasn't tormented, he just couldn't. He was nocturnal. He passed his nights with his nose in the books about magical medicine, but he couldn't find anything matching Damien's symptoms. At least, it made him learn the basics, but he was a bit worried that it wasn't something they could resolve on their own.One week before school, Harry started to try some spells. The firsts try were... well messy. Stuffstarted to explode all around, to fly without permission, and the boy had to calm and explain things to the elves for them to take measures. Damien preferred to stay in the library, far from any magical explosion he could avoid. Harry had asked him if he wanted a wand, but the boy wasn't ready yet.Harry didn't bother; the other boy had seen pretty ugly things with magic, and most of them were his deeds. The boy looked actually better. Unlike Harry, he wasn't unearthly thin anymore, and he had started to take care of himself, of his looks and health, even doing sports. In one of their fitting sessions, he had been desperate about Harry's messy hair which couldn't be capped, he actually tried for hours before giving up.Two days before going to Hogwarts, everything was set up. Harry had managed to learn a few spells (he was still astonished about the practical uselessness of what he had to learn) and the biggest part of the theory. They had decided that Damien would stay at the manor until Harry would find a way to make him come to Hogwarts in secret. The one-eyed boy preferred to stay alone with the elves, who had become more and more friendly as their masters treated them as human being, than in a crowd full of magical people. He was going to learn himself, and seemed passionate by the way Wizards had cast the muggle, even "muggleborn" out of the society. It was sickening, but as he used to say, the more you know, the more you can change. They decided to correspond by letters, and to send Gladis in case of emergency. Damien was actually working on a way to code their messages, not that it was useful right now, but just in case. Harry's paranoia didn't help to turn him away from this project.They had started to read wizard newspapers, and to classify them. They were one of the best sources of information on the wizard's way of thinking, but Harry insisted to have the Muggles's big one as well. He didn't see why being a wizard meant being cut from all that wasn't magical, but it was something else that made him insist that much. Muggles had attacked him, which meant that they could attack any wizards. And if Harry knew something, it was that you cannot defend yourself against something you don't know, and you cannot make peace with a total stranger. Not that Harry was in a peaceful mood.He had decided to take Ananta with him, hiding her in his robes; he just couldn't bear to leave the little snake home with no one to talk to. She was actually sort of excited to see new things, even if she hadn't seen a quarter of the manor yet. She had grown a lot and was now almost the size of Harry's forearm, and her scales were turning into a beautiful silver-grey with beautiful patterns of black and green. But the main change as the little thing grew up was her speed. On some occasions, Harry noticed that he wasn't able to follow her, and it made him proud and confident. Speed was good for attack, of course, but it also meant that if any trouble appeared at Hogwarts she would be able to run away in a blink.He didn't like leaving Damien alone. He didn't like it at all. It would be the first time that the two of them would be separated since their real encounter. The boy felt lost, and it undermined his excitement for Hogwarts. He knew they would see each other for holidays and about every time they could, but he wasn't sure he could manage without him. To calm him, to comfort him, to look after him, to laugh with him, to share his secrets. But more, it would mean that if Damien had a crisis such as the one after Dumbledore's visit, no one would be home to help him. At the simple idea, Harry felt a ball in his stomach. Secretly, he had asked Gladis to note Damien's symptoms and to give him weekly reports, as he knew his brother wouldn't tell him if something was wrong - considering that he could manage to understand that something was wrong. He also asked the elf to immediately fetch him if Damien started to lose control of his magic, to lose his senses or if the black veins were to be seen on his body. The elf nodded with concern.Gladis had become more like an odd friend than a real servant. Harry couldn't help it, she was so maternal. Not that he was complaining. He was still of an age to be looked after, and even if it sometimes annoyed him, he was glad.The day of his departure finally came. Damien prepared him for hours, trying to discipline his hair, checking his luggage. Before they went out, he put a little bag of soft fabric into Harry's Hand."Ananta's bed." He said with a smile.Harry nodded with gratitude. Gladis teleported them to a dark corner not far away from King's Cross. Harry sent her back to the manor with a smile, and they headed for the station, holding each other's hand in a desperate attempt to find courage. As Damien didn't feel well with all the surrounding people, they had to say goodbye in front of the station. Harry hugged his brother sweetly, while the other boy took care to don't touch any of his scars."I'll write, I promise.""I know you will." Damien smiled before pushing the other boy away. "Go on, my friend. You have too many things to discover to be sad, today."And on those words, he went back to the dark corner before calling Gladis.Harry was alone. He straightened up, his shoulders back, his chin up, and walked into the station.The ticket sent to him indicated the 9/3/4 route, and he had to wait until a family of redheads screaming in all directions threw themselves against the wall between tracks 9 and 10 to spot the entrance. It made him wonder if the firsts wizards were as paranoid as he was himself. On the other side of the wall, a thousand of magical children were running everywhere, hugging their families, waving from the train's windows. Well, he was glad Damien wasn't here to see that. Harry got into the first wagon that had the least occupants, and eventually settled into an empty compartment, enjoying a little quiet. He looked at the window. Somehow, he wished he had someone to waved him goodbye. He heard a little hiss near to his ear."But at least you are coming with me, uh, little one?" "Is there food at the school?" Harry had to bite his lips not to burst out of laughter as the train was leaving the station. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Chapter 3:Harry was watching the scenery scroll through the window, lost in his thoughts, when someone knocked at the door of his carriage."May I come in? All the other compartments are full," asked a redhead boy; one of the family Harry had seen earlier. Harry nodded.The boy sat - well threw himself - on the bench next to Harry. "I'm Ron by the way. Ron Weasley."The boy began to unpack a dreadful sandwich which couldn't have made more noise if he was killing an animal in the room."Harry Potter."Ron looked at him with round eyes."So, it is true! Do you have the... the scar...?"Now Harry was pissed. He glared at him, and feeling his sudden tension, Ananta rose from his lap where she was laying. "Is there a problem, speaker?" She hissed worriedly. Harry was about to pat her little head when the red-haired boy suddenly backed away with a little pitiful cry, struck his head against the back of the bench, and almost kicked the little snake, if Harry hadn't the reflex to protect his familiar with his magic. "How dare you?" Said Harry with a dangerous tone while rising, not even noticing that he had switch language in his anger. Ananta had wrapped around his neck, and her triangular head raised, she pointed her hooks toward the boy who was now crawling on the ground in a desperate attempt to get out. Harry closed his eyes. It was going to be far more difficult than he had thought at first. Taking back control of himself, he stood still, looking at the boy who looked like he had the fear of his life, his dull blue eyes going from Harry to the snake. He heard steps on the train's corridor and Draco appeared at the compartment's door."Hey, Harry... is everything OK? What are you doing on the floor, Weasley?" He looked at the two boys in turn, clearly hostile towards Ron."He almost kicked my snake," Harry explained, his voice calm again. Damien would have been proud of his control.Draco's eyes narrowed at the sight of the little snake. He was himself disturbed by the presence of an aggressive snake, but it wasn't the point.. The point was that this blood-traitor had dared to touch Harry's belongings, and that Harry could be frightening as hell.He did not have time to do anything as the Weasley boy fled precipitately from the compartment, almost knocking himself out on the corridor's wall. "I may have let myself be carried away." Harry said with a smile."Don't worry about him, he is stupid anyway, just like his whole family. You can recognize them by..." He showed his hair with his hand, a disgusted look on his face. Harry nodded."I wasn't worried about him. It’s just that I really don't like it when someone touches Ananta.""Ananta, it's the snake, right?" Draco asked while sitting in front of him. It was funny to see how he changed as soon as his father was away. One could almost not see the haughty expression on his face anymore – almost. "Yeah. She's a girl by the way."Draco talked for a very long time, about Hogwarts, how he would be in Slytherin as all of his family had been there, about how powerful his father was at the Ministry. Harry nodded politely, adding a few words when needed, but it was clear that Draco didn't need him to talk. The boy wanted to impress him, and it wasn't quite a bad intention. You only try to impress what you respect, but Harry wondered if the boy respected him, or The-Boy-Who-Lived. Of course, the question would have been easier to answer with his father.Then, Draco went back to his own compartment, leaving Harry alone with the little snake. " Non speakers talk a lot!" Ananta pointed out with a bit of scorn in her voice. It cheered Harry. "Yes, but they don't have a lot to say unfortunately," he answered with a smirk. He thought about the possibility to ask Damien to look after information on the Weasley and Malfoy families when someone knocked again at the door. Harry expected Draco to come back; the boy had some brain hidden in there and Harry didn't dislike him, but it wasn't him. It was a girl of his age, with big brown eyes and a mane of chestnut hair reaching her shoulders."Excuse me, but have you seen a frog? A boy named Neville lost it.""No, sorry, and I can assure you that no animal passed this compartment, so you may stick to the part between yours and mine." "How do you know that?" She asked. Her voice was surprisingly annoying."She would have noticed." Harry answered, pointing the little snake from the head. He didn't want to hide the snake from the students, the Weasley boy was a proof of their stupidity when surprised. However, he'd learned a spell to hide her if a teacher went to ask a question. And she was still small enough to hide on him.The girl's eyes narrowed, but not in fear. Curiosity. She sat next to Harry, not even asking, to look closer at the little snake. "I've never seen one like that. I mean... even in my books. What is it?"Oh, a bookworm. Even if Harry didn't like how close she was from him, the girl's curiosity and lack of fear pleased him. "She's a girl." He answered in a strange teaching voice. "And she's unique. She had... evolved from her original race, that's why you don't recognize it. But Let's see if you can guess..."The girl gave if a defiant look and went back to her observations. She seemed actually upset that she wasn't able to find it, and had to keet her distance from the snake, when they heard a croaking in the corridor."You should run after that thing." Harry said, amused.She frowned in frustration but left.Harry shook his head. He had never talked to so many people of his age and he was kind of surprised how different they were from him, or even Damien. He knew that even with his size he looked older, but he hadn't realized how much.Draco went back only to tell him that they were close to the school and it was time to put on his uniform. When he got out of the wagon he was soon joined by Malfoy, who was now surrounded by two rather similar boys, who looked to have the corpulence and intelligence of Dudley at his best time.Harry shook his head. Here too..."First year, first year! This way please!"Well that was a voice that Harry could recognize a mile away. Hagrid was standing on the platform, waving his enormous hand. He made a sign of the head towards Harry and led the first years towards barques. Harry sat in the front of it, Draco and another boy he didn't know behind him. The cold nocturnal wind cleared his mind, and he needed to because he couldn't help but to feel excited about everything.His heart just stopped when he saw the castle. It was grandiose. The orange light in the windows were shining like a lighthouse in the night and emphasized the immensity of the buildings. Towers skyrocketed towards the sky and the imposing structure was reflected in the undulating water of the lake, giving the children the impression that they were flying over the castle. All of them stood gaping, except for Harry and his control, but his mind was in the same state. When Draco turned toward Harry to share a look of connivance, all he saw was an aristocrat. In the contrasted lights, his face like a porcelain's mask, his eyes resting on the castle like he owned the place. Welcome to our home . Harry heard. He couldn't help but to smile at that. When they got out of the boats, Harry checked that Ananta was well-hidden and walked towards the stairs of stone with the others. He stayed near to Draco but even the blonde couldn't speak.A witch was standing at the top of the stairs, in a large green dress. She looked old, of distinguished severity, and wore a pointed hat matching her dress. "Welcome, welcome. Stay in line. My name is Professor McGonagall Now, before you enter the hall, you will be distributed in one of the four houses. The houses are: Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin. In order to do that..."She was cut short by a "Trevor!" thrown by a young boy who rushed to catch the toad that was - without anyone noticing how - at the feet of McGonagall. The lady gave him a blank look before the boy retreated back in the ranks, mumbling a pitiful sorry."... In order to do that, the hat of Hogwarts will be placed on your head, when you are called. Now, follow me, please." And on these words, she turned on her heels and opened the doors of th Great Hall. There were candles in the air, illuminating what Harry had learned to be a false sky (as the bookworm girl was explaining behind him), and in front of them, the head table, slightly overhanging the rest. All the other students turned towards the newbies.Harry liked it. Not to be watched, but the place, the feeling. It was like he had always belonged here. And he missed Damien, he wanted to show him all. But of course, he put these ideas and feeling behind his usual stoic face, and still walked in the new world like an emperor. It wasn't pride, he wasn't fond of himself, it was just his natural way to behave in public. And it worked, as several students couldn't look away.They all stood in front of the head table, a few feet away from a single chair that was waiting for them. A brown shapeless hat was placed on it. Harry wasn't on the front line of the students, it allowed him to observe for a moment as the first children were called. There weren't many students. More than he had ever seen, but how many less than what he had read in the old books on Hogwarts! To see how every table was cheering each new entrant, the disparities between them was very clear, in fact, it could be felt.Looking at the head table, Harry nodded toward Quirrell, and the other returned his salute. Just like at the pub, Harry felt his scar warming. Next to Quirrell, a strange man, dressed all in black was staring at him. Harry felt something pushing at the back of his mind, but it wasn't the familiar presence of the voice. It was an intruder. Harry pushed violently back, keeping eye contact with the man, whose nose had begun to bleed. Without even looking, Quirrell gave him a tissue. "Who is the man next to the professor Quirrell?" Harry asked Draco discreetly."Him? Its Sev- the professor Snape. He is teaching potions, and is also my godfather. You'll see, he is so cool!" Harry returned a bright smile to Draco. So, the boy had someone else than his father to impress at school.While the Weasley boy was called and sent to Gryffindor, Harry took his time to observe the other teachers. Dumbledore was still looking like a Santa on drugs, for he was always far too joyful, but it made Harry laugh more than anything. He was wearing a bright purple robe with brown patterns. Harry didn't like the man, but he certainly had to admit that he was flamboyant. His presence could be felt in all the room, and he looked at every child like he was his own grandson or granddaughter. Harry thought that if he hadn't found out how the man had stolen his money, and even with the voice's warning, he would have been tempted to trust the man. But, if there was one thing he couldn't forgive, it was when someone touched his family, and by extension his family's belongings. What a shame, really. Draco was called and he was sent to Slytherin without even having the time to touch his head. Of course, the boy was delighted."Harry Potter." The hall went silent.So, it was the moment. The arrival of The-Boy-Who-Lived. They all expected something, different things of course, but nonetheless. He sat graciously on the chair, but couldn't repress a shiver as the hat touched his head. It was a hat, but a talking hat, and Harry's body seemed to consider it as a person. Of course, nobody noticed it, except maybe Dumbledore, which had a plain view on his tensed back. For the others, a prince had just sat on his throne. Harry was anxious of what the hat could see in his mind, but he had read that it couldn't talk about it to anyone but himself. And somehow, he knew that the voice would protect the problematic memories, if needed."I see a lot of potential... You could be in every house, but where to put you... yes you could be great... a house could help you on the way to greatness..." The hat whispered to Harry's ear. "SLYTHERIN!" It screamed without letting to Harry the time to respond. The hall went completely silent. Harry could almost hear Dumbledore gasp in his back. As he rose from his chair, he heard a cheering of the Slytherin's table, while the others stood silent. Harry hissed to Ananta for her not to rise her head at the noise, and went to the Slytherin table with a smirk. He sat next to Draco, shook a few hands, all thinking the same, "It's Harry Potter and he's in my house!". He was overfilled with pride, and this time it was his own. He had broken expectations, and that on the very first day of his arrival. He could almost hear Damien laugh at the situation, when he would hear about it.He gave a surprised look to the girl he had met on the train when he noticed she was at Gryffindor; he would have seen her at Ravenclaw obviously. But he didn't think about it too much as the headmaster rose from his chair. The ceremony was over.Dumbledore opened his arms like he wanted to hug each student and to give them cookies. Harry chuckled at the image."Welcome to Hogwarts! And especially welcome to our new students! Before we start the festivities, Mr Filch, our caretaker, asked me to remind you that the Forbidden forest is well named, forbidden, and that the third floor is out of reach for anyone who doesn't want to suffer a painful death. Now, let the feast... begin!" And as he rose his arms a second time, all sorts of food appeared on the different tables. But Harry barely noticed it, the only thing he had in mind was: was the man totally crazy? Death threats inside a school? Really? He could understand the forest, it was outside, and probably a place where they kept different creatures, but the third floor? And nobody else seemed to notice, as they were too concentrated on the food and the excitement of the first day and new meetings. Harry shook his head in disbelief.Draco soon required his attention, and introduced him to the two big boys that were with him earlier: Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle. Harry didn't understand why Draco kept them so close, but as he understood they were pure blood, it must have a family interest under it somehow. He shook the hand of Daphne Greengrass, a pretty girl with long black hair and an obvious shy temper, Theodore Nott and finally Blaise Zabini. All pure blood. Harry started to understand the link between them all. He would have to send note to Damien on what he should learn about them, because obviously these kids were from powerful families."Happy to be at Slytherin?" Blaise asked while eating "You created quite a surprise." The boy was judging him, obviously, and Harry decided to give it a try.The other barely heard a hiss and a little snake got out of Harry's sleeve, looking around her before Harry indicated his own plate, where he had kept a piece of meat. They all looked at him with surprise, respect and maybe a bit of fear, but none had the stupid reflex of the Weasley boy. "It wasn't quite a surprise for me." harry said, his voice soft as silk.It was a lie, of course. Harry was by blood the heir of Gryffindor, and it was actually one of the few things Harry was truly proud about, but one does not choose his mind. Well, if Gryffindor and Slytherin succeeded to build a school together, Harry could succeed to honour both of them. Or none. Harry didn't want his behaviour to be directed by the past, apparently unlike the vast majority of witches. " There is a lot a people, here!" Said the little snake worriedly. Harry nodded but didn't answer. He remembered quite well the fear that the snake's language could spread, and if he knew it was going to be an advantage with the Slytherins, he didn't want everyone to know what he was able to do, especially not Dumbledore. Knowledge is power and Harry couldn't afford anyone to have power on him. When the feast was over, the prefects led them to the Slytherin's common room, which happened to be in the dungeon, under the black lake they had crossed earlier. The place was dark, only illuminated by green orbs. All the decorations was obviously made in silver, dark and green. The room had a fireplace, a few tables of dark wood, armchairs, some chessboard and desks covered by papers and flasks that contained God knew what. Harry liked the place, not that it was welcoming. But the shadows could give the impression of loneliness even with people around, and the place was perfect for Ananta. He was afraid he would have to buy a vivarium in summer, but here there was no need. Still, the place was cold. A place for the darkest minds... Harry couldn't help to think. Well, it was his place indeed. The prefects indicated the dormitories, and Harry chose to wait for all the others to stop running everywhere before going tothe place. This, on the other hand, might become a problem. Harry didn't sleep a lot, but when he did, it surely wasn't pretty. He couldn't let the others see him having nightmares, and he would have to find a solution quickly. When he climbed the stairs leading to the dormitories, all the other boys had already chosen their bed."Harry!" Draco waved his hand and showed him a bed not far away from his own. "I kept this one for you."Harry gave him a bright smile. He actually would have been touched by Draco's attention if he hadn't caught him giving a superior look to one of the other boys. This one was definitely running after fame. Harry's bed was near one of the windows, against the right wall of the dormitories, and well hidden from the door. Their things had been brought to the room, and Harry started to fix his corner of the room. He had locked his books in a chest that he put under the bed, and Ananta's box on his nightstand. With a smile, he placed Damien's gift in it and allowed the little snake to rest in there. They still had an hour before having to head back downstairs to get their timetables. He took his quill and some paper and started writing about his day for Damien, but then he decided to write it just before sending it, to avoid...interference.They finally returned to the common room. All the first years were here, waiting and whispering. Harry found himself a quiet place in one of the armchairs at the corner of the room, and was soon joined by Draco and Blaise who stood beside him.Snape opened one of the doors, threw the timetables on the nearest surface, and stopped to let his suspicious black glinting eyes stare at each student like he was going to take their soul if they dared take a breath. They were all tense.Harry felt a mix between disgust and amusement toward the man. The effect was ridiculous, and he had to confess that he did look like a giant bat, but it worked, and the room went silent in a blink. "I am Severus Snape, the Head of Slytherin. As you can see if you have two brain cells connected with each other, these are your timetables. It appears that the first class is potions, so we will have the pleasure to see each other tomorrow morning, and it is obvious that every late student will be punished accordingly," Snape said. He glowered at everybody and left as dramatically as he had entered. Draco was about to throw himself on the timetables like the other children when Harry stopped him with a gesture of the hand."Look." he said while observing his new comrades. Draco and Blaise gave him an odd look before understanding what he meant. All the first years were running for their paper, walking on each other’s feet, scrambling around the table. They looked like animals. Harry saw that Daphne had stayed behind, not far from them but without actually reaching their group, and he motioned for her to approach. " You’re not going to take your schedule?" she asked in a tiny voice. " We are waiting for the rush to end," Blaise answered. He had a deep, warm voice, quite calming. She nodded, and Harry cast an accio to the closest chair for her to sit next to the boys. They looked at him in awe, once again. " How do you know how to do that?" asked Malfoy, admiration in the eyes, as Daphne was quietly sitting and thanking Harry with a move of her head. " I trained this summer, thanks to the new books I found in my family's manor. But I only know one or two spells, the most useful for the beginners." Blaise nodded quietly, apparently impressed. Harry thought that he was going to like that boy. He was calm, quiet, and Harry was pretty sure he had a very well-functioning mind. Harry took note to look after him too; even if he knew that in the end he would have to make files about pretty much everybody. Crab and Goyle jostled among the other children to reach the little group, their timetables in hand. It was quite incredible to see them move in a crowd, or more to see the crowd moving away from them. They waved goodnight and went up, pushing each other in the stairs. Draco gave Harry a knowing look, to which Harry answered by a raised eyebrow. He didn't have to go into the boy's head to understand his despair of the two giants. " Do you still have that little snake with you?" Daphne asked with her usual little voice, but Harry could see her black eyes glimmering with curiosity. The common room was now almost empty; a few first year were talking at the other end of the room. He took the time to look in her eyes, and was surprised by what he found. She was a fierce lady, that one, and smart on the top of that. Plus, she was curious. It could be good to have her on his side. It wasn't like he could hide for a long time the fact that he was talking to his snake to people that lived with him anyway. And a demonstration of trust always leaded for people to more faith. He smiled at her. " Get out, little one. There are people I want to show you." The three others almost jumped in surprise. " You’re a Parselmouth!" exclaimed Draco, whispering. They each approached to be able to see the serpent, and Draco and Blaise went to fetch two armchairs. They had formed a circle without even realizing it; creating some kind of complicity. None of them dared touch the snake, even after Harry had assured them that she would not bite. The boys finally said goodnight to Daphne and went to their own dormitories, where everyone was already sleeping.Harry waited and when he was sure everyone was sleeping, he went back downstairs to write his letter, and finally took his potion's book to study, Ananta peacefully sleeping on his neck. At the first hours of the morning, he went to shower, put his uniform and headed to the hall for breakfast. He sent Onyx with his letter and enjoyed the deserted room while he could, reading a treaty of medicine that he had bought with him. The silent hall spread an atmosphere of calm and peace that no one could have imagined, and that he was sure only a few had the possibility to truly enjoy it. Ananta was eating a piece of meat and playing around the plate, but he let her, no one was here to see her. About an hour later, he saw a mop of brown hair at the Gryffindor’s table. She gave his snake a frustrated look that made Harry smirk. She was still searching. Of course, he was the first one to arrive in the potion's lesson. The room was the image of its owner, and Harry took the opportunity to close his eyes. Draco arrived a bit later, obviously stressed about having lessons with his godfather; one could see it by the arrogant smirk on his face. It was incredible how he looked like his father with that expression. He sat between Crabbe and Goyle after waving Harry a hello. Harry did wonder what a witty boy like Draco could find in these gorillas; it was not like he needed physical protection as far as he knew. Blaise and Daphne finally sat at each of his sides and they waited for Snape to arrive Snape arrived, slamming the door as usual. Harry wondered what the castle's doors had done to the man to deserve such a treatment. " I don't expect many of you to be gifted in the precise and delicate art of potions." He said raising his crooked nose in dare, his arms crossed on his chest. However, for the selected few, I can teach you how to put death in a bottle..." Once again he looked at the class. This man looked like he hated children. Harry saw Draco get tensed and a fake-proud grin appeared on his face. " Harry Potter, our new celebrity..." grunted Snape. Harry didn't blink. He knew it was some kind of revenge for what happened at the ceremony. He rose his most convincing innocent eyes at the teacher. " What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?" " I believe it is a Draught of the Living Death's potion, Sir," he said, voluntarily ignoring the trains girl's hand that she had rose so quickly that she almost left her seat in the process. In the corner of his eye, he saw Daphne and Blaise smirk. Of course, he knew the answer, he had read the entire book during the night. But it didn't change the vileness of the question: it was well-known at least among the adults that Harry had been raised by muggles and therefore should have some lack of knowledge. Luckily for him, he had anticipated that, but Snape didn't know it, which meant that he was trying to trick him. The only question was: what for? Snape narrowed his eyes and turned back to fetch his book like nothing had happened. Harry took the time to note the question: it was strangely precise for a casual question. Somewhere at the back of his head he could almost hear someone laugh. When they left the class, Blaise burst out laughing. " Did you see his face? I think you broke his momentum. He’s known for taking a punchbag every year, but they are Gryffindor’s, usually." Harry nodded. Well, at least everyone was aware that the man what an asshole. Gifted, obviously, but still. " I wondered why he tried to do this on you..." Daphne whispered. It was a goddamn good question. Harry shrugged. " Don't bother, Daphne. He failed anyway." As they were leading toward the next lesson, Defence Against the Dark Arts, Harry discreetly made a mocking sign to the girl of the train, pointing to the tail of the little snake that was slightly above his collar. She pouted and accelerated, followed closely by Neville.Harry wondered about the very title of the lesson. Wouldn't be more useful to teach defence against magic globally? And how come people that didn't have a clue on what and how to practice dark arts would be able to fully understand how to defend themselves against them?However, he was sort of excited about these lessons. Quirrell was a mystery, and Harry couldn't decide if his apparent weakness was fake. But, and it was the most important, he was the only external link Harry had with the red-eyes man. He still needed to find out who this one was, but he didn't have the time to look upon famous figures, as he preferred to train his abilities and his control on his magic. He didn't want to accidentally blow up a classroom. He wondered what Damien was doing right now. He was feeling an empty space at his side, and it was disturbing. Ha sat next to Neville, as the other Slytherins had taken a full line. Daphne gave him a sorry look, but he only slightly raised an eyebrow. When he noticed who was sitting next to him, Neville got immediately tensed. Harry didn't understand this reaction, he had never talked to the boy before, until he saw Neville send a panicked look to the Weasley boy. So, this one was a gossip, huh? It was new expectations, for him to be evil and terrible. And as usual, Harry hated expectations. He held out his hand to the other boy, who, after a horrified grimace, squeezedit. His hand was flabby and his hands were moist. Ron said he almost killed him, he may still have the snake with him! Does he want to kill me now? His eyes are really scary! But I did nothing wrong! And he is always with these Slytherins, the death eater's children... Breaking the contact, Harry smiled to him. "I guess you know who I am." He said softly. "You shouldn't trust everything Ron said, the boy seems to have a running imagination. Don't worry, Neville, I'm not going to hurt you."He had said it with a firm but calming voice and surprise appeared on Neville's round face. "Ho-how do you know my name?""Well it is hard to forget the name of the boy who’s toad was running all over the train."Neville blushed and gave a little laugh. That was better. He saw the Weasley boy staring at him with furious eyes, but he didn't bother. The boy had almost hurt Ananta, and that wasn't something Harry could forgive. And the boy didn't have any idea of what he had done with his stupid rumours. Well, they were partly true, but those were only details.Harry felt his scar warming before Quirrell entered into the classroom. The professor presented himself, his subject,in his usual shuttering, and the class was over. Harry was disappointed."Potter!" He heard Quirrell calling behind him. Harry went back to the professor's desk, and Quirrell handed him a strange black book."It might be useful to you. Take a good care of it, it's the only one I have." His voice wasn't shuttering anymore."Thank you, Professor," Harry said before joining the others."What did he want?" asked Draco when they were finally reunited."He gave me a book on DADA, for me to get ahead." "But why would he do that?"The other stopped and gave him an obvious look, and it took at least ten seconds for the blond to realize. My, my, Harry thought, Crabbe and Goyle have a bad influence on him. The lessons in Magical history was boring, mostly because the teacher was a ghost, but it made Harry take consciousness of something: the past of magic was also its present. It wasn't like in the muggle's world, a memory, a knowledge, no, it was effective.It was all they had for the day, so the little group went back into the dungeons. They sat at the same place as the last evening. Draco and Blaise started to argue on quidditch teams (Harry supposed it was some sort of magical sport), under the empty look of Crabbe and Goyle. Daphne was playing chess with another girl, and Harry started reading the book Quirrell had given him. It was a spell book, but far more advanced than what he was supposed to learn, and Harry was pretty sure that at least half of them were considered as black magic. So, Harry had to find a place to sleep alone, and a place to practice discreetly. That was going to be difficult. He took note for himself to look for a map of the castle the next day. He wasn't supposed to be out of his bed at night, but he hadn't crossed anybody early in the morning. He guessed that the surveillance was assured by the prefects, which meant teenagers who were more probably trying to seduce someone than doing their tasks. When they went to dinner, Harry noticed that Neville and the train girl saluted him discreetly. This was good news, because he knew he would need more than only Slytherin to do whatever he would need later. And nobody could suspect him having accountancy with Gryffindor’s.He ate in silence. Draco as usual was leading the conversation, talking about his father. It wasn't that anybody was really listening, but nobody had the heart to stop him, he was just so enthusiastic.Harry left the others while they were returning to the dungeons. He hid himself in an empty classroom and waited for the school to fall asleep. The idea of a map of the castle wasn't bad, but it would be better if he did it himself. He was pretty sure that none of the secret passages were on those maps. And by looking onto things himself, he could find some stuff about the different prefects and professors. It wasn't like he was going to sleep anyway. Unfortunately, he didn't meet anyone to spy on, except for Filch of course, but the man was blind or stupid for he didn't see him, and no room was safe enough for him to sleep in a complete night. At least, he had the chance to show Ananta places to hide just in case, even if she protested that she was "very big" and "would eat anyone that tried to bother her dear speaker". He finally headed back to the common room, took his shower, put his new books in his bag, and sat in his corner of the room, wrapping himself in the shadows, waiting to have the legal right to go eat his breakfast. The first lesson of the next day was charms and Harry was tense. He was far beyond what was expected from a first year, but if he knew he could control his magic when he was the only one doing it, he wasn't sure of his reflexes near a magical explosion of some sort. He laughed internally when he understood that his apprehension was coming from the fact of having Damien near him every day until now. He didn't fear for himself.Flitwick started his first class by teaching them the levitation charm, but they actually didn't have to cast anything. Once again, Harry didn't understand why things were so slow.All the teachers seemed to give him a look every time he entered in a class, but Harry chose to ignore them with a polite smile. At least none of them hated him for no real reasons like Snape did.He was good. He knew he was. Draco followed him almost everywhere, with Daphne and Blaise, and eventually Crabbe and Goyle. It was obvious to see who was the leader of the group, but Harry didn't want only leadership. He needed loyalty.The third night he hid in a deserted classroom and slept. Ananta was guarding in case anybody entered but they were no incident. He wished he was home. It was on the third early breakfast that the train girl actually came towards him. The hall was empty as usual."She is feeding on your magic." She said in a high preachy tone. "That's why she doesn't look like any other snake."And without another word, she turned back and went out. Harry was impressed. She was smart, but he had already guessed that as she always answered every professor's question, but she was also obstinate and obviously brave, as she came to talk to him despite the rumours he knew was running around Gryffindor. He decided to wait for the others this time.When Draco saw Harry, he sat next to him. The boy had noticed that Harry's bed was never unmade, and that he never came to the dormitories with the others, but he didn't ask questions.Harry self-healing abilities allowed him to avoid having dark circles around his eyes, but his control wasn't as good as it should be, and he started to feel the after-effects. He was talking with Blaise about the realities between Snape and Quirrell when the mail arrived. It was truly fun to see all the little packets fall more or less into the student's food.He opened Damien's letter immediately.Dear Brother, Witches are witches, and I think that sums up all your first day. I hope all of them aren't as mad as they seem to be, but that would explain a lot. You're a Slytherin, uh? Well, I can't say that it is really a surprise, but I would give anything to see A. D's face when it happened. Well, now you are a little snake, ain't you? I've done researches on the Weasley boy, as (I don't know why really) I thought you would want to have things on him. He is from a "blood traitor" family, which means a pure blood family that had fallen in disgrace, probably poor and strangely close to the muggles. Apparently, he has a lot of brothers still in Hogwarts: Fred and George (twins), and Percy. The last one is in the ministry's favour, unlike the rest of his family apparently (I still haven't found why exactly). But there is something more useful: they hate the Malfoys for generations. It explains Draco's reaction in the train. I've opened a file about them both in your office. I think I would like to meet the girl-with-no-name. It's a bit frustrating to wander in the big library alone. I must tell you that I've found something rather strange about the pure blood families. As you asked I started to look into them, but it is your comment on the number of witches in Hogwarts that made me think: they may have a problem at birth, but I'll look into that later. The manor is running well, and Gladis is perfect (did you asked her to look after me? Because I'm starting to worry I have a second shadow with globular eyes, it's rather terrifying). Apparently, there aren't any witches in the village downhill, but the elves told me things that could be incidents. I'll look into this as well (I think I'm working more that you do!). For your sleeping problem: have you think about looking into the different legends about Hogwarts? It may lead you to a secret room or something. Anyway, all is fine. I hope you will fit well in the school, and please, be a good boy for me. Salute Ananta and tell her the same thing (Do I sound like an old mother? Because I think I do). I miss you, D. PS: we should find a code for the names in our letters, in case someone is reading over your shoulder. I wouldn't want you to be in trouble! Harry had smiled during all the time he had read the letter. I really missed his brother, and he could almost hear him through the letter. He hadn't noticed that his part of the table had gonesilent. It was the first time they saw a real smile on his face.
11242773	MerlinTong Ren Blue	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)", "Fandom": "Merlin (TV)", "Language": "中文-普通话國語", "Rating": "Explicit", "author": "by victoriahsieh", "chapters": "7/?", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-19T00:00:00", "words": "47,929", "Additional Tags": "Cousin Incest, Schoolboys, Class Differences, Royalty", "Relationship": "Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Chapter 1 多利亞時期黑白分行的窗櫺外，風勢穿越樹叢帶來颯颯響聲。牆頭掛燈一明一滅提供室內微弱的燈光，但也好過古代的蠟燭燃起最後一道輕煙滴下了最後一滴蠟油。屬於北英格蘭專屬的夜半濕氣冷冽入侵，原本溫暖的臥室逐漸被佔領、滲入透骨的冰涼。古老Pendragon莊園白日賞心悅目鬱鬱蔥蔥的樹林一到夜晚，大片搖曳的黑影彷彿冤魂魅影，看在少年充滿幻想力的眼中更成為充滿古代戰士魂魄的雄偉碉堡。怕黑的Merlin只能握緊父親雕給他的木刻小龍撫平內心的孤寂與寂寞，對著遠景編織一個屬於騎士年代的軼事來轉移注意力。晚餐時冷漠的伯父、公學回家過暑假卻出言不遜的堂兄。夢醒時刻，Merlin Emrys暗自慶幸自己保持了Emrys這個姓氏，而不是跟初見面就抓弄他的頑劣金髮男孩姓自視甚高的Pendragon。 Pendragon家族可追溯到十八世紀，擁有綿延十幾代的樹狀家譜與祖先掛壁，屬於舊封建體制下始終保持體面與尊貴的古老家族。除了擔任地方首席執行官的列祖列宗著名外、還有沃特福德郡大片土地與市中心傲人的房產，最廣為人知的則是市區十哩外占地廣闊、管理井然有序的祖宅莊園，大片綠油油的草地曾吸引不少電影取景。源自十八世紀的莊園建築擁有當時法國最時髦的紅瓦屋頂。外型由堅固石材雕砌而成，顯得優美而莊重。大門門前是花團錦簇的花圃，受到園丁良好照顧時而綻放紫堇花與品種矜貴的白薔薇。但再怎麼瑰麗的莊園也比不上原本的家。Merlin毫不懷疑堂兄的冷淡繼承自他冷漠古板的父親，奢望同齡男孩成為夥伴果然只是妄想。勤於工作的母親過世不久，準備接受社福安置的Merlin接到來自社工意外的訊息：戰爭去世的父親隱匿出身、不顧家人反對捨棄地位與來自威爾斯小鎮的女設計師── 也就是Merlin的母親── 結婚。從此放棄Pendragon家族的姓氏與繼承權，雙方也斷了往來，直到他的伯父Uther Pendragon得知Merlin父母雙亡的遭遇之後，表明願意收養他，供應生活所需與就學開銷直到成年。這也是Merlin前來長住Pendragon莊園的契機。原本操著威爾斯口音的Merlin生平第一次遠行，就是告別居住十三年熟悉的市井與兒時玩伴前往陌生而古老的家族生活，光想像陌生的大宅與冷漠的僕人，習慣小家庭生活的Merlin感到樣樣令人不安。鄰里以好奇的眼光目送高級轎車前來小鄉鎮接Merlin離開，背後議論紛紛談論自認優越、出手闊綽的Pendragon家族是怎樣的人物。但提著為數不多行李的Merlin只能惴惴不安與初見面的伯父Uther會面、聆聽他道貌岸然地訓話──首先頌揚Pendragon家族的傳統，提醒Merlin身為平民卻有一半貴族血統、有幸成為族譜源遠流長家族的一份子，然後管家與僕人會照看他的生活。家主的態度讓Merlin不禁懷疑他會不會遭遇僕人無情的漠視與暗地虐待。小說都是這樣寫的。喜愛幻想的Merlin滿腦子青少年的胡思亂想，堪比少年維特的煩惱。事實證明Merlin的幻想力過於豐富了：離開曾經充滿愛如今空蕩蕩的家到了新的臥室，帶領他參觀的管家自稱Gaius，是個溫文儒雅的老好人，滿頭白髮彰顯出時光留過的睿智痕跡。他向少不更事的Merlin解釋情況──現今的家主是Merlin的伯父Uther，自從妻子生病後就時常往返於老宅與倫敦靜養的鄉間；平日多待在倫敦的證券交易所，鮮少有回沃特福德的時候。經過Uther的指示，Merlin即將前往伊頓公學的預備學校，成績順利跟上的話就在明年夏季進入公學就讀。Uther有兩個孩子，女孩名叫Morgana，男孩叫做Arthur，比Merlin分別大五歲與三歲，兩人平常分別就讀貴族女子學校與男子公學。是以Pendragon莊園平時沒什麼人氣，因此很歡迎他的到訪。盡忠職守的Gaius沒有解釋卻最重要的一點莫過於：整支高貴的族譜本家的唯一男性繼承人是個傲慢自大、目中無人的人，也就是方才見面的Arthur Pendragon。晚間Merlin隨同伯父用完軍事化例行性的用餐、正慶幸好不容易脫離沉悶拘謹的晚餐餐桌，渾身緊繃的他就見到了風塵僕僕由公學歸來的堂兄。 "你就是那個來自鄉下的窮男孩？"迴旋階梯上頭，高傲的堂兄上下打量著他，讓Merlin以為自己是待價而沽的羊仔，而非輩分齊平的堂兄弟。他擁有一副旁人過目不忘的好相貌，英挺的羅馬鼻、瀏海與眉頭齊平的淡金色頭髮，看起來俊美不凡，加上不同於少年同儕厚實又運動員身型的高大體魄，一看就屬於校園中的風雲人物，同學間爭相追崇的未來領袖。公學崇尚德行的教養與群育的發展，與人群合作無間的養成遠重於廣而深度的學識教育。Arthur擁有的氣度不僅僅能擔任足球隊隊長，甚至足以擔負宿舍級長的職務。 "我叫Merlin。"忽略對方的敵意，繼承母親好脾氣的Merlin主動伸手上前打算握手。他看到堂兄皺了皺好看的眉心，承認人長得英姿勃發，連皺眉頭都是好看的。 "我知道你的名字，父親已經告訴我了，你比我想像中還瘦，像根竹竿一樣。"金髮少年以慣用高高在上的態度如此評斷，忽略Merlin伸出來的手，Merlin只好裝作毫不尷尬地把手晾到背後。"不過至少你的眼珠遺傳自Pendragon家族的藍眼，儀態也合格了，想來生在鄉下依然受到良好的教養。" "謝謝你的稱讚。"見到對方後Merlin首度露出放鬆的笑容。這種稱讚等於稱讚了他善良的媽媽教育有方。從來沒有人能夠拒絕Merlin的和善與明亮的笑容，想來這個Pendragon家族高高在上的少爺也勢必如此。只見Arthur微微看傻地楞了一下，隨即正色說："我警告你，可別以為被收養了就是Pendragon家的一份子。"塊頭比他大上一倍的Arthur瞇起了湛藍的眼珠，配上孔武有力的胳膊與與生俱來的氣勢，幾乎可說是不怒自威。連原本對他產生親近之心的Merlin也不禁站直身板。"想在這個生活圈生存下去，就必須學好一切上流社會需求的禮儀與學識，改改你那個鄉下口音，一聽就是威爾斯人，不改過的話吃虧的可是你自己。" Merlin知道英格蘭愛用口音去區分階級與地位，道地的牛津腔代表的是上流中的上流，東倫敦腔屬於下流階級，至於威爾斯腔...光從口音就洩漏出身鄉野，就算他被Pendragon家收養，身份與口音不吻合也容易惹來上流社會的訕笑與非議。"謝謝你的忠告。"雖然被責備了口音，Merlin還是本性拋出發自內心的甜笑。被指責了還傻笑，這小子是傻瓜嗎？Arthur不懂地搖搖頭，突然走下階梯往Merlin走來，想看清楚鄉下這個毫不扭捏作態的小子。不懂堂兄意圖的Merlin不僅沒有退縮，反而如小鹿斑比般眨著雙眼抬頭望向高出他一顆頭的少年，眼底蘊含信賴與一片赤誠。 "你不怕我？Arthur有些意外。從來沒有一個十三歲的公學新生面對他毫無畏懼。仔細看了看Merlin的長相，膚色為健康的象牙白，長長的眼睫毛搭配明眸皓齒，微微翹起的嘴唇微張，宛如湖底水草般墨色的短髮上有一窩漩渦狀的髮漩，是個聰明討喜的小伙子。是我喜歡的型。縱使Arthur表面上不肯承認，內心卻不由自主地嘀咕。他對遇事毫不畏懼又有勇氣的人最沒輒了。 "你是冷漠了點，但暑假那麼長，我相信我們能成為朋友。"Merlin說。 "朋友？"Arthur由上而下地望著他，似乎聽到不可思議的話。 “我希望在這裡有個朋友，雖然馬夫的兒子Will偷偷牽小馬陪我玩，但他沒聽過狄更斯也不懂莎士比亞。"”面對年紀大他十幾歲的女傭、司機，甚至年紀可以當他爺爺的管家，Merlin時常感到很寂寞。他需要一個年紀相仿的少年能一同讀書談心。"我最喜歡莎士比亞的仲夏夜之夢了，無法忍受有人沒讀過它。你不覺得人一生需要結交一個一生相伴的朋友嗎？" "一生相伴的朋友？"Arthur的背脊整個震動了，別看他是個體育健將，公學學院祭結束的時候，有一兩晚他也想著同樣的念頭。那個形象來的很鮮明：俐落的短髮、精緻的藍眸與高高的顴骨，笑起來如夏日劍橋河畔的風信子。值得一生相交的朋友！每當Arthur聯想起那個形象，心口就浮現最單純最純潔善與美，願意為了他赴湯蹈火奉獻所有的一切。但這想法從一個小他三歲的人口中說出來又是另一回事。 "這裡的暑假有什麼好玩呢？對了，你可以教我板球，我陪你下棋，如何？"Merlin繼續說。習慣社交辭令的Arthur蠻橫的假面龜裂開來，Merlin的話如奶油蜜汁般逐步滲入年輕貴族慣於武裝的心房，一股親近之心情油然而生。覺得不妙的Arthur頓時急喊煞車，對半途殺出來的男性親戚產生競爭外的好感、甚至想更了解他，這種想法太危險了。誰知道他會不會搶了家族的關注或家傳的事業呢！他只能咳了幾聲轉移注意力，忽略心底有個聲音叫囂其實你是怕事情朝不可饒恕的方向走去吧。 “你真是個奇怪的人，完全不認生、像是一個謎團，但是我勸你別妄想了，”Arthur佯裝粗魯地說、很快又回到那股舉止高傲的模樣，"作朋友不可能。你是個不速之客，是我繼承道路上隱藏的絆腳石，我們不可能成為朋友的，Merlin。"他往後退站遠了點，隨即又靠近過來，顧左右而言他地指指Merlin胸前的排扣。 "你的釦子扣錯排了。需要我幫你扣嗎？親愛的堂弟？”他刻意朝Merlin耳畔戲謔地說，如此貼近耳朵，動作近到Merlin幾乎可說他是故意的，耳廓輕易接受到堂兄呼出的熱氣。低頭查看襯衫的Merlin搞不清楚是對著裝不慎本身感到羞恥還是堂兄惡劣諷刺引人羞愧，他面紅耳赤，只想挖個地縫二話不說立刻鑽進去，被拒絕的挫敗感也讓他惱羞成怒。見他如此驚慌失措反而讓Arthur感到一股安全感。我安全了，他想。也覺得Merlin毫不隱藏不滿很有趣。他佯裝瀟灑哈哈大笑拾階離去。留下滿地的錯愕與氣得跺腳的Merlin。這個正於伊頓公學接受良好教育的大少爺遠不如老管家那樣紳士得體，仗著高人一等的特殊社會地位、趾高氣昂得理不饒人，令人心煩意亂。忿忿用力躺回枕頭上的Merlin翻翻白眼，高大的少年當然有理由高傲，對方可是個天之驕子，將來繼承眼前所有一切房產、受到上帝眷顧的男人。窗外觸目所及的大片田野與Merlin室外鍾愛的一草一木，將來都屬於他。屬於Pendragon家族本家的嫡男。他說他們不可能成為朋友。這不免讓Merlin感到自己前途堪憂。然而他不知道的是：同樓層隔壁房的Arthur被剛才一席話撼動，也同他一樣躺在床上輾轉反側。 Merlin無法預知的是：未來他會成為Arthur Pendragon最大的秘密。 (待續) 後記：筆者最近醉心於公學壁壘分明的階級關係與彼此體育德行競爭的氛圍，於是寫了這篇公學/貴族設定的亞梅同人算是對我喜歡的文學作品E.M Forster創作的"Maurice"致敬希望大家喜歡^o^/ ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Chapter 2 翌日，失眠導致喉嚨發乾的Merlin好不容易掙扎起身、睡眼惺忪下床著衣準備前往餐廳與家主共用早餐，他拿出老管家Gaius委託專人裁縫替他縫製的高質感白襯衫輕手輕腳扣妥鈕扣。就算與牆上的掛鐘鐘擺競賽，Merlin還是眨著靈動的眼睛小心翼翼掏出父親遺留給他的水晶袖扣仔細扣上。望著鏡中的人彷彿池中精靈逐漸甦醒，Merlin拍拍高顴骨的雙頰振奮了精神：整理儀容莫不外乎是為了不想給他的堂兄──也就是Arthur──這個Pendragon家族的未來繼承者留下散漫的形象。昨日的他已經出了一次洋相，面對嚴厲的Pendragon父子還是拿出最體面的模樣才行。確認這回儀表毫無瑕疵後，頂著蓬鬆黑髮的Merlin這才大幅跨步跨過潘德拉貢紅地毯往一樓的巴洛克風餐廳走去。雖然與伯父Uther相處時間不算長，但從他自律甚嚴的態度與對外貌一絲不苟的要求，連寄人籬下的Merlin也明白他必須遵守這位家主訂下的規矩、嚴守時間保持基本的禮儀，而一同用餐即是開啟一天社交活動重要的一環，若是遲到少不了被伯父訓斥。抵達餐廳外的Merlin雙頰呈現疾走後的通紅，剛抵達餐廳門口就見到衣裝筆挺的老管家Gaius朝他使了一個”在這待著”的眼色，機敏如Merlin隨即止住進入餐廳的腳步，聽見餐廳內傳來父子的爭吵聲。 “我就知道你收養Merlin根本不安好心！ ”只聽到裡頭傳來Arthur的怒吼，難以想像人前擁有貴族雍容華貴舉止的Arthur也有如此氣急敗壞的時刻。 “輪不到你訓斥我，小子！我那自私的弟弟不顧責任扔下偌大的家業跟一個低下的女人私奔，願意收養那孩子算他走運！"裡頭傳來家主Uther厲聲的男低音，威嚴又充滿壓迫感，令人不寒而慄，連帶使Merlin抖了一下。"否則我不會讓他進Pendragon的家門，敗壞我們的名聲。” “說到底你還是覬覦屬於Merlin的那份遺產，”Arthur的聲音轉為高傲與不屑，"因為爺爺特別偏愛叔叔，斷絕了關係還特地留給他的那份市中心土地，你為此嫉妒打算把土地搶過來，我說的沒錯吧。"唯有身為Pendragon家正統繼承人的Arthur才敢仗著血統與寵愛與現任家主對著幹。 "你這個逆子，搞清楚是對誰說話！"Uther端出父親架子，但沒有否認他的企圖。見父親不否定形容默認，Arthur乾脆說："昨天我碰見Merlin了，他一點也不像你形容的那樣貪婪無恥，甚至還充滿勇氣跟我對視了，你不認為他這種善良近乎天真的傢伙成為我們這種自私自利貴族世家的一份子是值得慶幸的一件事嗎？" "這種個性當個僕人還可以，但永遠不是我們的家人，"裡頭的Uther絲毫不減音量，毫不擔心被門外的僕人聽到、也不怕流言蜚語傳到Merlin耳裡，擁有至高無上的權力與自信的當家之主如此大放厥詞。“從沒盡過責任的旁系子孫破壞家規、憑空得到一筆Pendragon家的田產，簡直是貴族的笑柄。既然要提供生活費與學費到他成年，使用的金費自然是他繼承的那筆田產，把它賣了供給Merlin的生活費和學費，是樁沒什麼不對的買賣。" "這不公平，錯是錯在他的父親，Merlin本身並沒有錯。你不該剝奪他繼承父親遺產的權力。"路見不平的Arthur試著幫Merlin辯駁，流露專屬於少年為了實踐理想、不惜與全世界對抗的高貴情操。但Arthur再怎麼勇於據理力爭畢竟是個少年，還是不敵操縱生殺大權的父親，接下來的話也被掐滅。"不用多說廢話，我已經委託律師要Merlin簽約，協助Merlin把那筆產業賣了。" "父親..."Arthur還試著掙扎。"你不認為Merlin跟母親很像，出身高貴又相信愛的本質嗎？他不該被如此對待。" "夠了！"這話似乎戳到了Uther的痛處，他忍不住下了最後通牒。"一大早在飯廳爭辯這些實在有失體統，給我注意好你的身分。" Arthur只好收回握緊的拳頭、坐回座位乖乖噤聲。擅長判斷時務的Gaius這才放Merlin進入餐廳，臉色蒼白的Merlin坐到Arthur下首的隔壁，他相信Arthur毫不懷疑他聽見方才的對話。倒是Uther神態自若，似乎方才爭辯的主角從來不是Merlin，而只是抱怨下注賭輸賽馬或英格蘭糟糕的天氣。Arthur賭氣不看向他的父親，直到意識到Merlin使用餐具的手指微微顫抖，原本刻意佯裝忽略的Arthur忍不住朝Merlin投與一計獨特的溫柔視線。那是一種很獨特美麗的眼神，但一閃即逝，快到讓Merlin懷疑它的存在因而楞了一下。昨晚只存於記憶的譏諷眼光被覆蓋而過、腦海裡只不斷重複播放蘊含獨特情緒的瞬間眼神，包含理解、愧疚、憐憫、還有一絲...若有似無的欲言又止？餐桌旁的Gaius為主人送上干邑白蘭地，面對Arthur對金黃色酒液的渴望只是默默略過、在Uther的注目下換成屬於少年們的蘋果汁。Arthur無奈地朝Merlin望了一眼，朝他舉杯微微一笑，露出雪白的牙齒。面對焦躁喝著金黃色蘋果汁的Arthur，原本自從昨夜的揶揄之後、Merlin早把這位繼承人當成遙不可及的星辰，但共同面對食古不化的Uther，Merlin這才發現這個看似隨心所欲、呼風得雨的大少爺，其實不如表面上能夠隨著自己性子恣意妄為。看似放縱自由的他，其實束縛於Pendragon家族的古老貴族光環下，內心深處對貴族族長的做事方式不以為然，驕傲的他盡量不外露任何憐憫，卻不經意道出屬於個人的獨立見解與不屬於貴族階級的善良。被Arthur一瞬間蘊含鼓舞的目光注目與善意的微笑後，Merlin感覺好受多了。並不是生為繼承人就如自己想像般要什麼得什麼。他合乎禮儀執起刀叉與自視甚高的親戚用餐，席間Uther屢次試著提起簽約的話題，皆被Arthur高明巧妙地岔開來去，然後裝作沒事一般繼續公學學習的話題。體會到這或許是屬於Arthur笨拙的溫柔，Merlin感激之餘，心口也因此緊張地噗通噗通跳動。用完坐如針氈的一餐，Merlin逃回位於二樓盡頭幾乎無人使用的家族書房。高達兩尺的維多利亞式外窗每逢白晝灑入和煦溫暖的日照，充足的採光照到豐富私人藏書櫥間，營造一種古樸雋永的氣氛。也是Merlin平日最喜歡打發時間的秘密基地。走到莎士比亞藏書的那櫃的Merlin抽出"仲夏夜之夢"的精裝本，每當心情不好他就閱讀這本書，回想起幼稚園媽媽為她縫製戲服扮演仙王奧布朗的情景，沉浸回憶中的Merlin面露短暫的微笑。但是隨著門口出現腳步聲，回過神的Merlin警戒地四下張望，望向門口想會不會是Uther找律師來要他簽約了。 "你在這裡呀？"意料之外，出現在門口的竟然是昨晚銳氣盡出、如今一派和善的Arthur，穿著粉藍休閒襯衫與褐色馬褲的他看似不經意路過，深邃的藍眸幾乎把Merlin攫住。被這樣精緻的藍眸一瞥，全身警戒的Merlin頓時從狐獴變回被洩了滿滿空氣的皮球，意興闌珊地回說："是你呀..." "我聽到這邊有聲音，就過來看看。"Arthur說著言不由衷的話，Merlin明白他很不擅長說謊，想必是過去呼風喚雨沒有必要。苦惱的Merlin不知道Arthur這是打算演哪齣戲，只能靜觀其變。見Merlin抱著精裝本不說話，Arthur倒也很坦然不再偽裝。"我知道你今早聽到我與父親的談話了。"他毫不客氣地朝Merlin身邊坐下，如國王巡視領土理解佃農需要一般，彷彿一切都是理所當然。他果然是天生的王者，但我也有自尊。Merlin心裡下了註解。"沒什麼，我沒事。"把視線從Arthur的臉上移回書籍，他希望Arthur趕快走開免得寄人籬下傷心的模樣被Arthur盡收眼底，殘存的自尊支撐著他，然而胸口卻因Arthur的搭理噗通噗通蹦個不停。Merlin按了按撲騰的心口，試著恢復獨處時沉澱的情緒，遺忘傲慢偏見的嬌貴親戚，不對堂哥餐廳一閃即逝的示好多做聯想、對兩人結為好友心懷盼望。於是他往陰影深處縮了一點，似乎這樣就能逃避Arthur的好意與現實巨大的壓迫感。 Merlin的公然逃避與私下的黯淡就連遲鈍如Arthur也看出來了。索性也不說話，抽了一本莎士比亞往窗台几上旁邊一坐，Merlin看了一眼，Arthur抽的是書是"哈姆雷特"。 Merlin持續翻閱他愛的仲夏夜之夢劇本，期間沒被搭理的Arthur也沒離開，靜靜沐浴在陽光下的Arthur盤據窗台翻閱那本"哈姆雷特"，雙方都沒說話。直到終於從書本分神的Merlin想：Arthur不僅特地為他說話，還跑來人跡罕見的書房搭理自己，隱藏在驕傲面具下的Arthur或許試著用獨特的方法安慰人。真是欲言又止與獨有的笨拙溫柔。緩緩一股暖意襲上Merlin心頭。他偷偷瞄了一眼Arthur，沐浴陽光下的Arthur簡直公理正義的希臘神像雕塑，整個人閃閃發光。外冷內熱是Pendragon家族的特質，其實Arthur人並不壞。Ｍerlin心想。 Merlin抿了抿嘴角，一股視線隨即逼來，是Arthur放下書本專注打量他，如鷹隼般銳利地盯著他，但察覺Merlin發現後，逼人的目光又瞥向遠處，好像沒事一樣。努力平復心情說服自己的Merlin對Arthur的反反覆覆無所適從，年幼的他這下猜不透Arthur的內心了。 "我父親太無理了，你可以不用簽約，我會幫你。"還好Arthur很快給出解答，沐浴陽光下的他跳下窗台，神情如頂天立地的男子漢。"我也有一份屬於我名下位於郊外的房子，必要時我可以把它賣掉替你籌錢，足夠你維持原案到伊頓公學念書。" "為什麼要對我這麼好？你說過我是你繼承道路上的絆腳石。"兩天內對Arthur的認知與評價是雲霄飛車般翻天覆地的變化，這下Merlin不得不拋開仲夏夜之夢好好問問眼前行為反覆的堂兄。難道我不是他繼承道路上的絆腳石，Arthur會擔心我，還特地待在這陪伴我、避免我胡思亂想？想到Arthur或許是Pendragon家族裡第一個願意接納他的朋友，Merlin不禁面露期待，臉頰也因為期待不由自主紅潤不少。 "我也不明白，但是你說的是對的，"Arthur難得侷促地繞地轉圈、摸摸金燦燦的頭髮，高大威武的他此刻與瘦弱的Merlin是對等的，"與其樹立敵人，不如先作朋友。既然是同個家族的人，希望在公學裡交到真心一生相伴的朋友，那就是我的夥伴。很多空有體格不動腦袋的學弟不懂公學時代的朋友是我們未來的人脈，但是你不同，才十三歲就有這個認知，可見你的資質遠高於其他學生。不讓具備資格的你進入公學接受良好的教育，我父親的做法徹徹底底錯了。既然我們是血濃於水的堂兄弟、身為Pendragon家未來的繼承人，我應該優先保護族人免受不平等的對待。 " Merlin望著公學優等生的Arthur，第一次發現眼前的人即為他一生誓死追隨的領袖。為了跟隨他的腳步，哪怕經過地獄般的鍛鍊，他也甘之若飴。如果公學教育培育出Arthur這樣良好德行和優秀體格的青年，想必學校也成為Merlin的最佳歸屬。十三歲的Merlin第一次有了想去的地方，想去學習與Arthur相同的團隊精神、挑戰挫敗感、忠貞以及自力自強。 ************ 向來德行良好的Arthur言出必行，阻止律師要求Merlin簽下一筆日後後悔的法律讓渡書，獲得Merlin全心全然打開心房擁抱這位堂兄。整個潮濕悶熱的暑假，Merlin圍繞著Arthur打轉，簡直如Arthur忠誠的跟班一樣無論迴廊多遠皆看到他們的身影同進同出，頻繁到Arthur必須擺出表面架子指著Merlin要他"別再跟著我"。但隔日只要Merlin謹遵吩咐跑去外牆找Will玩耍、沒到Arthur眼前擺弄槌球，高高在上的大少爺便患得患失質問Gaius"Merlin到哪去了？快把他給我找來。"僕人們私下流傳宛如發光體卻嫌惡眾星拱月的Arthur其實享受Merlin的陪伴，自從夫人生病以來在莊園內孤來獨往的少爺與一位年齡相仿的男孩交好，眾人皆樂觀其成。不習慣於體育競賽的Merlin發現他特別喜歡與俊美的Arthur摔著玩，每回Arthur把手伸到Merlin的腰肢處搔癢，Merlin便會露出一種難以言喻的表情，似乎喜歡、討厭又嗔怒，表面遲鈍的Arthur也注意到了，偶爾盯著他微微失神，良久不說話卻自在搓揉他茂密不規則的黑髮。對Pendragon家族繼承人Merlin不抱持任何幻想，他知道從這種肢體碰觸中得到的是怎樣的快樂，也謹遵這種快樂，確信雙方都感到享受。身為家族繼承人的友伴他從沒想過越雷池一步，更沒想過Arthur會把這樣的戲弄當成怎樣的暗示，甚至把這種悖德的私人情感帶進往後他們的寄宿生涯。 (待續) ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- 盛夏過後，沃特福德的夜晚逐漸滲入透骨的凜冽寒意，夜晚吹拂的風宛如刀削乾燥，足以化開肌膚。望著庭院逐漸寂寥的景象，Merlin明白與Arthur相處的日子即將於深秋結束。九月中旬他就要返回伊頓繼續學業，留下Merlin一個人面對英國預備校對於英語發音、學科、禮儀與才藝的高度要求。原本光待在Arthur身邊就擁有足夠勇氣面對全世界的Merlin想像Arthur的離開，臉上常不由自主浮現苦悶的落寞。Arthur外表上依然趾高氣昂，但Merlin知道他的瞬間沉默代表同樣寂寞的感受，只是高傲如他不習慣展現任何脆弱的一面。他們相處時遠比以往更加寂靜，Merlin擺弄橡樹底下的蕈菇，Arthur蹬著他的馬靴躺在一閃即逝的陽光下、把握最後日光浴的機會閉目養神，偶爾幾隻藍色的鷓鴣路過草地、甩動頭顱沿途尋找蟲吃，Merlin抬起頭，傻傻凝視Arthur的金髮伴隨秋風擺盪飄揚。他叼起一根蘆葦擱到嘴邊，整個人思緒如隨風飛揚的蒲公英。終於到了離別的日子，Arthur在管家的安排與司機的陪同下上了那班返回倫敦南方近郊的轎車。Merlin不敢站得太靠前，深怕會控制不住自己追上前去。Arthur還是那副不可一世的模樣，只有瞥向Merlin的瞬間出現千載難逢的動搖，但一閃即逝的溫柔後，他照慣例昂著下巴上了車，黑色轎車緩緩駛離褐色礫岩鋪設的車道。轎車漸拐彎直到消失於地平線，成為一抹夜色下的一抹黑影，一向嘰嘰喳喳的Merlin唯有摀住嘴巴，免得發出徒勞的吶喊求他別走。 “相信我，我們會在伊頓相見的。”臨行前Arthur低沉的嗓音言猶在耳，是Merlin鑽研學業與接受嚴苛規範訓練前的救贖。靠著幾句臨別的激勵，Merlin遠比其他同齡的孩子更咬緊牙關努力吸收預備學校的課程準備考試。一晃眼，時間隔了數月。老管家Gaius看出為了實踐夢想的Merlin有多努力，學識淵博的他默默擔任Merlin的後盾，必要時為男孩泡一壺好喝的大吉嶺、端出剛出爐香噴噴的熱司康餅溫暖Merlin的胃，藉此提升他學習。Merlin總下意識學Arthur抹上他推薦又鍾愛的黃金蜂蜜小口小口地吃著──雖然他更偏好莓果果醬──彷彿Arthur從來沒離開過。Gaius發現了也不說破，只是把所有Arthur喜歡的沾醬口味替Merlin拿來。偶爾來自老管家的愛心關懷也不管用──Merlin數理方面天資異常地薄弱、模擬筆試的成績非常悲慘。有幾個驕縱的同學甚至嘲笑Merlin妄想進入系出名門的伊頓就讀簡直不自量力。Merlin的自尊向來不服輸，咬緊牙關從不抱怨。直到寄來的成績單得到Uther的冷眼旁觀。老管家明白一切，試著利用工作閒暇幫Merlin補習，站在書桌旁指引Merlin如何解題，但是Merlin連續做錯了五道題目，性格開朗如他也癟著嘴陷入自我嫌惡，一頭烏黑鬈髮幾乎揉成鳥巢，低聲問：“是不是我這麼沒用，伯父才不愛我，Arthur也把我忘了？” Gaius思考了一會，深深吸一口氣，突然起身前往門廳盡頭的通訊室打電話，過了一會要跟到一旁的Merlin過來接聽。 Merlin見過無數次那支電話盡職發出惱人高亢的鈴聲，多是Uther從外地打來囑咐Gaius交辦事情，卻從來沒有為這個時常咆哮的電話膽怯過。 “來吧，你們慢慢說，我不會告訴別人。”Gaius說。在Gaius溫和扭頭示意下，Merlin巍峨峨接過話筒，側耳試著傾聽。 “喂？是Merlin嗎？”果然如Merlin的期盼，話筒那頭是數月不見的Arthur。彷彿乾枯的田野久旱逢甘霖般，Merlin瞬間放下自尊幾乎掉下淚來。 “嗯，是我。”Merlin吸了吸鼻子振奮精神，試圖讓語氣飛揚雀躍些。“好久不見。” “怎麼了，你是不是在哭，究竟發生什麼事？是父親說了什麼？還是學校裡有人敢欺負你？”電話那頭的Arthur聽到掩不住哽咽的Merlin語帶焦急、甚至帶有逐漸滿溢的憤怒，很容易聯想習慣捍衛Merlin的他炸毛的樣子。Merlin低頭笑了出來，這證明Arthur關心他沒有忘了他。光這點就讓Merlin好受許多。 “沒有，只是碰到一點困難…但是聽到你的聲音以後，我感覺好多了。”Merlin幾乎無法阻擋自己破涕為笑。畢竟身為一個快十三歲的男孩，有個人惦記、在意他對他而言很重要。尤其這人還是他身處險境仗義執言的Arthur、是他立志追隨前往公學因而努力不懈的偶像。 “那就好。如果有困難隨時給我打電話，我很想念你。凡是碰到什麼難過的事，可以打我宿舍電話號碼。”Arthur的語調鬆懈下來，聽見Merlin的聲音令他很開心。他接著聊了他投入的足球社團活動與想要競爭宿舍長的近況，順便確認Merlin的學業足以進入伊頓。熟絡地如同他們不曾分隔兩地。掛上電話後的Merlin又充滿了勇氣，雙方的交談雖然簡短卻產生強烈的共鳴，如同劍發現專屬於他的劍鞘一般。看著嘴角微笑的Merlin，老管家確信這次他不會被艱難的處境擊倒。 ******** 磚紅色五層樓高的鐘樓，莊嚴歌德式銳利屋頂的大教堂。經歷一番努力，Merlin終於站在伊頓公學的正門前，這所學校是1440年亨利六世創立，最早替七十名貧窮學生提供免費教育，作為進入劍橋大學英王學院的預備學校。位於溫莎鎮的私立男子寄宿學校大部分學生如Arthur一般是貴族名門子弟，是英國王室、政治與經濟界精英的搖籃。也提供優渥的獎學金供應貧苦學生求學。Merlin剛好介於兩者之間，憑藉Arthur的幫助進入學校就讀。稚氣的Merlin希望成功申請獎學金，為未來五年的就學資金鋪路，不再需要Arthur替他費心。等到他成為菁英的一份子足夠獨立門戶，屆時再好好償還Arthur的善意。撫摸石牆上頑皮學生刻畫的學生姓氏，Merlin充分感受到：我終於站在這裡了。不知道這裡的學生是不是都像Arthur一樣具有騎士精神？鄰床低年級聒噪的同學Elyan說Arthur成攻擊敗了競爭對手Edmund Barclay當上這幢宿舍的級長，並且成為被通稱為Pop的伊頓學生會成員。Pop的成員在學校享有特權，不同於級長與一般監督生，可以自行搭配西服背心顏色，負責監管學校規章制度的執行與監督早禮拜運行，Arthur也向階級制度更邁進一級，這是不是代表Arthur與剛入學的Merlin漸行漸遠，地位更加南轅北轍了？好不容易追來的Merlin拍拍臉頰鼓舞自己：雖然眼下看似距離遙遠，但是有朝一日我一定能夠成為Arthur家族的左右手…Merlin滿懷期望地想。只是當時的他沒想到的是：封閉的公學如同一道無形的推手，充滿男性賀爾蒙的校園喚醒他對男性的渴慕，催化他對Arthur的感情。歷時半年的久別重逢是午餐的大食堂，Arthur主持了一段進餐前的禱告，身批緞黑外掛、金黃背心配上漿白襯衫，宛如宿舍西翼的王者。下午茶時間後Merlin第一次受邀到Arthur的級長專屬個人寢室，一進房間就看到奢侈的壁爐與高即屋頂的藏書櫃，剛結束足球競賽的Arthur轉身見到Merlin，拋下喝到一半的薄荷茶熱烈歡迎他。 “Merlin你終於來了。看起來長高不少？肩膀也寬闊許多，你看起來好極了。”頂著耀眼金髮的Arthur遠超過禮儀範疇地傾身給予Merlin一個屬於少年真情的擁抱，毫不做作又如此自然。彷彿他們是Merlin渴望成為的那種一生相伴的”朋友”，而不是宿舍級長與新生。 “我很好，大食堂的炸魚薯條與牛肉鹹派蠻好吃的。”Merlin露出甜美靦腆的微笑。見到Arthur他太高興了。 Arthur依舊是記憶裡的Arthur，一個上前，隨手揉亂Merlin梳理服貼的頭髮。然後Merlin緊貼著他坐到地毯上，雙方調皮嬉鬧，Merlin試著把對方從椅墊上扳下來，被Arthur一陣追著打。老舊的橡木地板因此發出抗議的吱呀聲。等他們玩累了，Merlin索性把頭靠到Arthur的大腿側，喘氣坐回椅子上的Arthur右手輕輕撫摸Merlin濃密如幼犬的咖啡棕鬈髮。強壯如他運動後渾身散發一股迷人的汗味、運動褲上也蹭了泥土地的青草香。Merlin閉上雙眼享受著，纖長的睫毛乖巧服貼蓋住眼簾，記憶裡那道水藍眼眸此刻溫柔的望著他，空間裡滿滿Arthur專屬的氣味。原本任Arthur親暱的Merlin發覺從腰部以下產生一股難言的燥熱，這種奇怪的變化是初次的，未曾經歷過。他緩緩起身望進Arthur的眼睛，又是那種美麗的神情，似乎說著”可以，你可以過來”。於是Merlin順從本性地往朝思暮想起伏的胸膛靠去，幾乎與Arthur耳鬢廝磨。Arthur沒有推開他，相反的，一雙結實的臂膀緩緩抱住Merlin。像確認什麼似地小心碰觸。曖昧的氛圍急速膨脹，誰也沒推開誰。後頸被目光如炬的Arthur盯住，頸背沿著腰椎簡直熱得發燙。一陣喧鬧從門口傳來，房門突然被一群與Arthur同齡的高年級生撞開。為首一個擁有剛毅下巴輪廓的學生喊著”還說今天的比賽MVP怎麼不見人影？原來跟新生在寢室喝茶呀？”幸好Merlin即時與Arthur分開，沒讓他們撞見兩人呼息幾乎步調齊平。但兩人的心跳前所未有地劇烈跳動，似乎被導師抓到偷腥的孩子。 Arthur立刻融入足球隊同伴間的熱絡，並向為首的Gwaine引見Merlin，原本享受與Arthur親暱不帶絲毫遐想的Merlin突然發現他非常想與Arthur獨處一室。與幾位學長禮貌應答寒暄了幾句便輕聲離開，沒知會被人群包圍的Arthur。從那一刻起，他明白了自己對Arthur獨佔的情感世人名之為”戀愛”。兩小無猜的情感催化為脫軌的慾望。生平第一次Merlin對無法預知的感情天人交戰，天真的他竟以為過去對Arthur的思慕乃是純潔的友誼。如今假象崩落開來，包裹的蜜汁流於一地。渴望被愛的Merlin幾乎無法承受，如果Arthur無法愛他，他會死的。 ****** 寄宿學校的宿舍按照所屬寢室區分為二十個小單位，每個單位擁有各自寢室名與盾徽，Merlin所屬的”家”別稱為”獅鷲”，同寢室是二十張單人床的高年級與低年級混宿，身為Pendragon家族一員的Merlin並沒有被特殊對待，照傳統仍被高年級的學長使喚，面對其他宿舍的競爭則被當成獅鷲的一份子，待在獅鷲就如同待在”家”。Arthur則不同，掌管整棟宿舍西翼的他日常生活被同屬伊頓學生會的POP菁英圍繞。享受特殊階級的特權，擁有專屬的私人浴室。弄懂對Arthur抱持的感情，Merlin不再順從Arthur的召喚私下前去級長寢室獨處，對Arthur玩鬧的肢體碰觸無法再沉浸享受。這是他的初戀，理當受到眾人的祝福，對象卻是個男人、還是自己的堂兄，剛步入青春期的Merlin徬徨無助，無人指引不知道怎麼做才好。主日的神父曾說愛上同性是無法洗脫的罪惡，死後要下地獄的。他不願意把Arthur牽扯進來。太靠近Arthur是無法抑制自己對Arthur的感情的、只會忍不住想再湊近一些。避免私下見面對彼此而言是安全的，Merlin看著手中招募新生的劇團傳單，藉著參演學校熱門的劇團表演莎士比亞話劇應該是避開Arthur堂而皇之的方式。幾次召喚未見其人，向來不守株待兔的Arthur坐不住了、決定親自出面逮人，穿著有顏色背心的他特地到話劇社排演教室把Merlin領了出來。削瘦的Merlin重新站到級長寢室，他的眼角濕潤，心底抗拒卻無法阻止自己貪婪汲取屬於Arthur的味道，動搖的自我厭惡讓他低垂著頭如受傷的小獸。他不敢隨意邁出一步，只要Arthur放下身段再度把持他的手與他嬉鬧，Merlin虛構的防線即將潰不成軍。「你在躲我？」Arthur皺起英挺的劍眉，清楚Merlin自從上次不告而別就開始躲他。「沒有，Lance使喚我做這做那，我不能放著他的熱水袋不管。」Lancelot是Merlin所屬獅鷲的家長，由於舊式寢室的走廊沒有暖氣，到廚房替高年級生裝熱水袋保暖是例行的工作。Lancelot常指示Merlin和Eylan做這做那，人並不壞。「先不提這個，怎麼不敢看著我？話說回來，你問了Gwaine能不能當你的直屬學長...竟然直接略過我的意見…。」消息靈通是級長的強項，Arthur歪著頭一臉耐人尋味，但Merlin知道他在審訊他，其實Arthur根本氣炸了。根據伊頓公學的傳統，低年級生可以看一位高年級生宣誓效忠，得到高年級生的庇護免於霸凌，低年級生面對住宿生活的疑難雜症也可以求助於直屬學長。相對的，做為回報，低年級生必須付出勞力從事雜役的工作。按照傳統Merlin尋求同為西翼POP成員的Gwaine擔任他的直屬學長沒有任何爭議。「身為堂兄弟，我不能找同姓氏的親戚擔任庇護人，這你是知道的。」Merlin說。公學注重團體生活的養成，避免相同姓氏的人們自成一派。Arthur蠻橫地哼了一聲顯然不信，「我還不了解你嗎？還說你沒有躲我，站過來。」Merlin小心翼翼站了過去，原本背著的雙手冷不防被Arthur一把拽住。「Arthur…」Merlin發出虛弱的求饒聲。身體在Arthur握住他的手的同時化為一攤盪漾的春水，Merlin從頭到腳的骨頭酥酥軟軟的。正直血氣方剛的少年很難維持主日學上聖經教導的矜持與理智。「終於抓住你了。」尚未消氣的Arthur惡狠狠地說。見Merlin瞇著眼不敢亂動，刻意扳起Merlin的手指一根一根摩擦，像賞玩一件水晶雕塑。「Arthur…求你了…」連Merlin也不知道他想說的是”求你放過我”，還是”求你愛我”。「那天我們明明很親暱，真不懂，你都這樣反反覆覆對待你的朋友？」「你是我堂兄，不是我的朋友。」嘴硬的Merlin如此辯護，唯有他知道這話與其說是說給Arthur聽，不如說是說給自己聽。Arthur的金色頭顱就在他眼下，距離他的臉非常非常近，他多想用嘴唇膜拜眼下可愛的頭顱，用手掌撫摸堅毅的臉龐。但是不行，不能越雷池一步。否則迄今努力得到的友誼可能毀於一旦，好不容易得到安身之所的生活也恐怕分崩離析。「哼哼...」Arthur發出上位者的不同意，下一刻Merlin感覺濕漉漉的舌頭滑過敏感的指尖、隨即被濕潤的口腔包覆起來，瞬間Merlin渾身通電一般的顫抖起來，驚叫了一聲隨即把口摀住。見Merlin產生如此大的反應，沒有抗拒也不逃跑，前所未有的優越油然而生。「我們擁有血緣關係，永恆不變，豈不是比其他人更親密？」Arthur只知道憑著一股腦熱什麼都沒想、謹慎思考前身體率先做出行動，眼前Merlin纖細的手指非常可口。現在的他像被獵人逮住的小鹿般瑟縮發抖，看起來更可口。「Arthur…」Merlin持續推拒，希望事情有轉圜的餘地。「Merlin…你不討厭我吧？不要拒絕我。」Arthur摩娑纖長的手指，強勢不容拒絕，明白聰慧如Merlin鐵定得到暗示。Merlin眼泛水光，好長一段時間才長吁一口氣。他低頭抱住Arthur，等同徹底放棄抵抗。見識到Arthur眼中的欣喜若狂與少見的獨佔慾，Merlin知道自此往後他將以旁人側目毛骨悚然的方式屬於他。後記：果然去完英國伊頓公學考察後思如泉湧，本章竟然短短兩天內寫出來了，身為作者真是痛哭流涕Q▽Q這大概就是告訴我們要多去腐國取材走動，可以多寫好幾章好幾篇新作。也感謝Colin有新舞台"Gloria"，我才有動力前往英國。下一章是亞瑟視角，外加可能有的肉(有沒有肉/火辣到啥程度大概會看讀者反應吧～....)對本篇裡頭的梅林終於投入亞瑟懷抱，作者我也忍不住拭淚(奇怪的心情)希望亞瑟能好好照顧小梅～ ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- 年少的Arthur Pendragon一向秉持原則，冀望作風符合貴族的身份、不辱沒家族源遠流長的姓氏，他幻想有朝一日擔任皇家空軍小分隊的指揮官，漂亮完成君主指派的出勤任務成就一番功勳。期許榮獲騎士的最高榮譽──嘉德騎士勳章。但此刻的他正做著捲入醜聞的舉動：將性器埋進朝思暮想的大腿內側，對無助呻吟的親人──也就是他的堂弟Merlin毫無保留做著世間最親密的舉動。呼吸急促的Arthur明白有失檢點的悖德之舉被旁人發現絕不僅是投以有色目光這麼簡單，甚至被灌上妨礙風化的罪名鋃鐺入獄服刑導致身敗名裂，但如今的他如射出去的箭矢般無法回頭，Merlin濕潤的雙腿間即是天堂，腿間的嫩肉彷彿他內心深處最柔軟的部分，出於本能想長驅直入的Arthur直把他頂得喘氣連連嗚咽不止。「啊啊...啊啊啊啊...」不斷配合聳腰動作的柔韌男孩逐漸壓不住呻吟，變聲的嗓音擁有專屬少年的撩人，青澀而滿懷愉悅。「Merlin...」腰際累積龐大的熱流，如受困牢籠中焦躁打轉的雄獅，灼熱的肌膚引得Arthur一陣目眩神迷。「Merlin，叫我的名字。」「Arthur...Arthur──」輕聲呼喊光是開口就莫名心動的名字，黑髮男孩終於放棄抵抗發自內心的情難自禁，聲聲叫喚充滿毫無掩飾的愛意。既然是堂兄弟，擁有更親近的血緣關係，那更沒有理由阻止我們相愛。身為光鮮生活背後私德放蕩的貴族後裔，Arthur明白單方面的假說純粹為了說服顧慮十足的堂弟，沒有邏輯性又蠻橫毫無理智可言，但不用冠冕堂皇的說法降低Merlin的顧慮就得不到他，身為謀略家的Arthur只能想方設法減低Merlin對悖德的排斥。陰莖間的磨蹭幾乎讓Merlin化為一潭春水，深井似的藍眸印有無法比擬的光，聆聽耳際壓抑的嗚咽與小聲呼喊他名字的呢喃，Arthur整顆心燒得滾燙滾燙。環抱黑髮男孩背脊的胳膊越收越緊，明白跨越情慾的界線男孩從此將佔據他的心口，純潔的友誼再也無法回頭。口啣金湯匙出生的Arthur從不否認基於Uther的偏見、從一開始對Merlin擁有錯誤刻板的印象，想像一個談吐操著俚語、舉止如頑童大鬧街市的形象登門長住，怎樣都是場災難。但是他不打算把Merlin趕出去，貴族子弟擅長的欺侮弱小在Arthur向來不屑一顧，他的價值不需欺侮別人就體現在學生之間口耳相傳。心性高傲如他擁有一批同為貴族出身的伙伴，出現校園的小團體間擁有無法漠視的強大氣場。驕傲自大是Arthur唯一的缺點，他見過太多優秀到趾高氣昂的男孩在他面前相形見絀，根本不把鄉下來的Merlin擺在眼底。直到初來乍到的Merlin落落大方展現好感，親近不盲從的眼中流露想交朋友的率真，瞬間Arthur發現過去的自己是隻驕傲的井底之蛙，湛藍如冰川的眸光如發現新大陸般上下打量眼前的少年。身為Pendragon家族的嫡男與Igraine的長子，沒有人用這種方式對他說話──沒有同齡少年的小心打量、隱藏敵意的奉承、也沒有優雅敬語述說的虛假恭維，只有純粹打從內心的交流。毫無後盾的Merlin展現出的勇氣產生立竿見影的效果、吸引Arthur與他產生連結。早熟的Merlin哪裡知道自己的真誠動搖了先入為主的Arthur，他一股腦述說自己的想法，沒注意到Arthur以對待潛藏競爭者毫不胡弄的方式提出應對。偽裝於刻薄外表下的Arthur故意苛刻挑剔他的口音，Merlin還是目不轉睛地釋放善意展現毫不記恨的人格特質，對堂兄的親近提醒Arthur他的與眾不同：身邊圍繞的朋友多是菁英中的菁英，缺點是太過自負，從沒有人被傷害過還願意伸出友誼之手。大家總當他是Uther與Igraine之子，沒人認為看似強大的他需要友情慰藉與肩並肩的關懷。第一次接觸體驗了Merlin的可親可愛，品嘗蘊藏和善外表下的頑強與神秘，種種別於常人的特質構成致命吸引力，吸引Arthur試著出頭替他著想。當Merlin遭遇來自父親的難題卻謹守自尊也不向Arthur求助，交遊廣闊的Arthur很快將他列入結交伙友名單：充滿韌性的小傢伙是個人才。想看看待在我身邊的他怎樣發展潛力達成高度的成就。一直以來Arthur的交友名單非富即貴，卓越的人配上卓越的朋友。只是共享勝利、下午茶與共享學識、品格與挫敗有階段性落差，與Gwaine的交好是足球場上的默契十足、與Lance劍道與拉丁語的切磋是學業體育上的良性競爭，但沒有一個自發性榮辱與共、任何傷病願意無償為他端水送飯、甚至處理傷口的朋友。打球扭傷腿的三週期間，習慣傭人服務的朋友們只是基於友情前來探望，說了一下午漫不經心打發時間的幽默然後撇下受傷的他回食堂吃飯，留下動彈不得的Arthur濫用職權壓榨低年級生來獲得一口飯吃，這種高處不勝寒的寂寥一度讓他思考人生。Merlin恰巧在思考朋友定義舉棋不定時出現。黑髮少年不含心眼的親近、對古典文學的喜好、視Arthur同一般人與願意結交Arthur成為一生摯友的想法溫暖而誘人。吸引Arthur投入心思與缺乏共通之處的Merlin走在一起、大半暑假膩著一同騎馬朗讀、為Arthur貴族式的幽默捧腹大笑，屬於少年間的暗號流傳在彼此之間。事情的確不太對勁，高傲的貴族少年與地位僅高於僕人的男孩玩在一起是前所未聞的，對象父親被家族放逐，操著威爾斯口音還小他三歲。但不否認每次聯想到黑髮的少年，疏離多禮的Arthur溫柔體貼多了，高高在上的性格難得關心起老管家Gaius的起居。他送給常犯風濕的老管家許多靈藥，囑咐他暗自照看Merlin，每日早飯後想出些新奇的玩意、對著儲藏室掏翻自己生日曾收過的禮物，掏出最有趣的遊戲與最少見的玩意與Merlin分享。黑髮少年的崇拜與欽羨常膨脹他的虛榮心，志得意滿的Arthur常感覺疏離的宅邸背後唯有他們屬於彼此。分隔兩地的半年Arthur試著給Merlin寫信，又怕慘遭父親攔截釀下大禍或Merlin對他不是那樣在意而遲遲沒有寄出。向來主動的Arthur轉而把專注力集中到競選宿舍長上頭，與Edmund Barclay陣營的人馬積極答辯、三不五時捉對廝殺。寒冬的夜晚，滲入骨髓的思念悄悄沿床緣攀附佔據他的靈魂，翻來覆去只感到煩躁無比的Arthur翻了好幾遍枕頭，最後只能面對天花板雕花樑柱的柱頭玩起Merlin教他的鄉下數羊遊戲，耳邊偶爾傳來低年級生的夢囈與Gwaine不均勻的打呼聲，Arthur又想起幾次寫家教交代的拉丁文作業常不小心打起瞌睡、被特地經過書房的Merlin搖醒、默契十足拿了他最愛的蜂蜜果醬配思康給他果腹的往事。他愛極了Merlin見識拉丁文作業有多難後心領神會對他的昂嘴一笑。日出東方被召喚來的睡魔終於讓Arthur墜入夢鄉。潛意識終於帶他找到思念的Merlin：夢中的黑髮少年擁有高高的顴骨，嗝嗝笑著朝Pendragon莊園外的大草原放手狂奔，天真無邪又不斷暗示Arthur快追上來。Arthur試著跨步追逐抓住頑皮的少年卻永遠失之分毫。男孩語帶挑釁噘起頑皮的嘴唇："你以為我不知道？但我早猜到了...你不敢是不是？來吧，你追不到我的"...如果抓住你的話，我想說“我要你屬於我”...如果抓住你的話... 矗立百年盤根錯節的蜜桃樹下，好不容易撲倒氣喘吁吁眼神散發水氣的削瘦身影，笑盈盈的嘴唇吸引他往下做更多過份的事...手掌往襯衫下腹部緊緻滑膩的肌膚撫去...手感非常好。少年清亮的呼救聲激發血性中不可饒恕與無法停止的佔有...如成人有力的手掌朝下撫弄、朝意識自己命運學會接受的Merlin放肆點火，在他迷濛的掙扎中一把褪下他的底褲...兩腿相接... 醒來的Arthur羞愧於夢中的瘋狂，肯定是哪裡弄錯了，他不會這麼對Merlin的，但是下身沾染的黏膩述說夢裡的荒唐與無情的佔有...害他有段時間不敢正視Merlin即將入學的事實。花了兩週調適心情驅散內心的心魔，算妥時間邀請進入伊頓就讀的黑髮少年前來級長臥室，曾經親暱無間的感情又回來了──Merlin盯著他的眼睛彷彿能掐出水來，攀著他腿腹間均勻的呼吸一如最鍾愛的家貓，接著Merlin主動爬上他的腿，貴族女士掀起裙底在酒會私下與軍官偷情的桃色畫面與夢中Merlin被他壓倒的蜜汁甜蜜閃電般掠過Arthur的意識。那瞬間的衝擊印證了他的猜想──Merlin遠遠不同於其他人，彼此的感情非比尋常，接近哈姆雷特之於歐菲莉亞。誘人的精緻臉龐幾乎貼在Arthur耳側耳鬢廝磨，迷人的黑色卷髮摩擦臉龐觸感柔軟而令人迷醉。瞬間Arthur放棄了思想上的抵抗向本能屈服。"擁抱遠遠不夠，親吻遠遠不夠，我想像對待情人一般，吸吮Merlin悠揚朗誦仲夏夜之夢的豐唇，舔舐沁出的微薄細汗，然後把性器插進他的體內，聽他發出動情的呻吟。" 貴為公學西翼達靈頓的王者，Arthur情願沉淪於名為Merlin Emrys的鋪天蓋地大網中，放棄嘉德騎士勳章從此墮入萬劫不復的深淵。初嘗禁果的少年們仰躺下來體驗第一次的高潮，戰慄的肌肉逐漸平息，與躺在身邊的伙伴十指交握，綿遠流長的柔情滿溢淹沒彼此的心口。他們沒有開口說愛，卻已經明白愛情的形狀。親吻已成為招呼的語言，Merlin口中有腰果果實的香味，抬起的柔韌腰身彎曲為一個弧度，Arthur抬起頭狠狠吻他，吸吮厚實的小嘴直到彼此氣喘吁吁。他們共享了彼此的肉體，窺探彼此不為人知的部分。跨越名為階級與道德的界線，再也沒有理由阻止情竇初開的少年們享受悖德禁忌的戀愛。 ****************** 秘密幽會時的Arthur是個體貼溫柔的完美情人，毫不遮掩對擁有精緻骨骼的Merlin是如何傾心喜愛，他熱愛這個擁有翅膀般背脊骨的黑髮男孩，時不時對著光潔的大腿內側留下浮想聯翩的咬痕。在這樣的目光注視下Merlin覺得自己遠比Adonis更加俊美。但身為校園風雲人物的Arthur每回足球場兩翼齊飛、酣暢淋漓的拼搏後，渾身豔陽汗水的他幾度避免迎向鼓譟人群身後遠遠看著他的Merlin，享受伊頓西翼達靈頓之王的封號接受隊友的高舉狂歡。陷於秘而不宣的熱戀無法自拔的Merlin無可避免為此受傷，多希望Arthur能無視眾人的矚目旁若無人接受他熱烈低調的歡迎。遲鈍如Eylan見Merlin患得患失只當他是單純新生適應不良，但高年級的明眼人遠沒這麼好胡弄。洞悉情勢如Lancelot du Lac忍不住把Arthur越來越少出現於交誼廳與獅鷲裡越來越光彩照人的低年級新生聯繫到一起。同屬POP的Edmund與Arthur屬於校園內公開對立的兩大陣營，身為領袖的上位者習慣藉由開放式辯論彼此對峙，底下學弟們則沒那麼高尚，對Arthur奪去級長之位誓言捍衛自我陣營，敵對之心下不免用些惡劣的手段。無從對Arthur下手的低年級生趁著傳統的伊頓橄欖球運動趁隙肘擊了位於食物鏈底端的Merlin好幾次，直把Merlin的胃都頂翻了。向來不懼競爭擁抱敵人的黑髮男孩察覺別人視他為眾矢之的因此大受打擊。趁著每週五Arthur請假外宿前往溫莎探視母親的日子，堅持不添Arthur麻煩的男孩趁著級長不在轉而向待他們和藹的Lancelot求助，聆聽前輩意見尋找解套之道。「先不提那些嫉妒的混小子，你跟Arthur究竟怎麼回事？他最近總是找你。」Lancelot雙手交叉環抱胸前，背對著他沏茶的Merlin只希望鬢髮藏住羞紅的耳朵。「沒有什麼...我們是堂兄弟，Arthur特別關照我，常叫我去級長寢室話家常而已。你知道要不是他慷慨出資我無法進入這裡就讀...」「我還以為他洩漏POP的會議決議，告訴你低年級生的這次的考試試題取自Winchester的圖書館，幫你獲取獎學金。」「Arthur不是這種人...」「我問過Arthur，他的回答跟你一樣。看來是我預估錯他的品性了，對你們我感到很抱歉。」Lancelot褐色的眼睛看來很深邃，似乎思考接下來的話題適不適當，「話說回來，你跟Arthur的地位相差懸殊，常處在一起難免引發不當的傳言，你必須懂得捍衛自己，免得接二連三的小動作衝著你來。有必要我跟Gwaine自然會罩你，但是...」「但是什麼？」「Arthur的身分太顯赫了，你只是個養子，跟他過度親暱只會害你遍體鱗傷而已。等Arthur回來你試著問問他的母親吧。他只跟信得過的人聊他的父母，如果他連這點都不設防的話代表他想壟絡你，但是以你目前的能耐還是暫時離Arthur遠一點比較好。否則日子久了任何人嗅出他看你很不一般，更多敵人恐怕視你為眼中釘甚至視你為Arthur的軟肋，公學的生活更是暗潮洶湧了。」無法理解Lancelot意思的Merlin等待Arthur從溫莎回來。等晚間風塵僕僕的Arthur穿過穿堂歸隊宿舍生活，迫不及待解開制服領結的他四下張望了一番，才將臉壓向Merlin的肩膀享受片刻放鬆的感受，就聽見Merlin的哼聲詢問：「伯母她...好些了嗎？」「怎麼突然問這個？」「你總是請假前去探視你的母親，卻從來不說她的病況...很嚴重是嗎？」 Arthur嘆了一口氣，「其實她身體的病早好了，只剩下心病，母親只是礙於身份沒跟父親分手...離婚本身太前衛了。他們目前根本是分居狀態。父親拼命想挽留母親的心，卻總是吃閉門羹。」「什麼？我從來都不曉得...還有什麼身份比兩情相悅還重要？」「小傻蛋，你真的不知道嗎？」Arthur溫柔摸摸Merlin探頭探腦的小腦袋，「我的母親Igraine是當今王朝的長公主，難道你不曉得？」「Igrine Windsor？你的母親婚前是姓Windsor？」從不沉迷於留言八卦的Merlin這下驚訝的張大嘴，他只知道伯母的頭銜是Igrine Pendragon伯爵夫人，對她婚前的姓氏與長公主的身份毫不知情。這也歸咎於Pendragon家上至管家下至馬廄男僕個個口風很緊的專業素質。這下Merlin終於理解Lancelot為何說他與Arthur是天差地別了。Windsor、Stuart和Tudor是英格蘭建立王朝的三大王族，相較之下Pendragon家族、Gwaine所屬的Spencer家族和Edmund所屬的Bowes-Lyon家族只算是歷史赫赫有名的名門望族，繼承的封地與擁有的財產足夠令父親被逐出家族的Merlin望塵莫及。如果Arthur的母親是溫莎皇室血統的公主，那他本身就是當今國王的外孫了，跟擁有偏僻威爾斯平民母親的Merlin整個地位懸殊，堪稱巨大的鴻溝。「都怪叫Igraine的人太多，我早該想到的。」 Arthur顯然被Merlin震驚的巨大反應逗樂了，「別說你知道我母親是長公主以後就把我代入成噴火的怪物。確實我的血統高人一等，但是繼承的主要是Pendragon家族的父系頭銜，我是以Pendragon侯爵的身份進出溫莎古堡，跟溫莎家族沒有直接關係。不能否認我的外祖父遠比其他同學顯貴許多。」警惕Arthur人群前的表現接著思索起Lancelot的忠告，從不重視血統的Merlin難得也猶豫起來，「Arthur，我們需要談談。」「怎麼了？」「你出身英格蘭少數幾支最高貴古老的血脈，在你看來，我是不能說的秘密嗎？」「你怎麼會這樣想？我從沒這麼說過...」「但是足球場上你甚至看都不看我，每回都確認四下無人你才願意距離我近一點，是以愛上我為恥嗎？」向來驕傲的Arthur滿臉受到冒犯的表情，但聰慧急於求解的Merlin倔強又難以哄騙，Arthur只好重拾起專屬於貴族的疏離與冷淡，「Merlin，我不知道，我只是認為這樣對大家都好...你應該明白現今大眾不少人還認為這是一種入獄服刑的罪過...」「你不能這麼自私，我以為我們有足夠的默契、不逃避正視我們的感情，我才敢愛你的。」Merlin的眼中閃過少見的徬徨，「如果你裝作不愛我，我不知道有沒有辦法堅持下去...待在達靈頓...你不知道同學都在談論你卻不能接近你是什麼感覺，那是種咫尺天涯的距離，撕扯我的心...」「夠了，Merlin。」沒想到Merlin如此進退兩難，Arthur意外之外也明白必須想出方法安撫戀人，「你不知道如果我們的關係在學校傳開來，甚至被父親知道會多麼棘手...給我一點時間，我會找出兩全其美的方法。現在我得去替住宿生作晚點名了。」望向Arthur急於離去的寬闊背影，Merlin渾身感到前所未有的冰涼...一定是石磚翻新尚未鋪設地毯，室內水泥基底無法保暖的關係。他很希望終日待在Arthur身邊，又怕同學的眼光和家族的期望將他們拆散，無法明言的關係可說是如履薄冰。如果Arthur無法做出保護這段關係的承諾，或許該考慮Lancelot的意見，對他敬而遠之？然而一切是否來不及了？因為他抗拒不了Arthur的溫柔，小心進退又深陷其中無法自拔，連他也懷疑自己是否該抓緊時機全身而退，還是冒著風險來個粉身碎骨。或許上帝聽到Merlin晚禱的掙扎、決定做出斬斷荊棘的裁決。Arthur還沒想出兩全其美的方法，Merlin的室友Eylan被POP成員發現違反住宿生第四條規章、晚點名後偷蹓出校園與外校女孩幽會，POP成員特地於會議室集會討論獎懲方式，經投票表決依違反住宿規矩對Eylan施以禁止探視懲戒半年。主持會議的領袖自然是Arthur。無法坐視Eylan痛苦的Merlin特地抵達級長寢室向Arthur求情，希望判決刑期不要重到難以承受，但Arthur勉為其難的皺眉頭：罪證充足的情況下，要替Eylan翻盤的機率是零，宿舍自然有宿舍的規矩。「他公然違規住宿公約即是對體制的挑釁，是不能容忍的。」「他只是想念青梅竹馬而已，根本不是什麼壞事啊！」Merlin發出來自自身深處的吶喊，有一半是為了博弈的內心叫囂著請求宣洩。如果Eylan與青梅竹馬徹夜談心得到半年的處分，那他跟Arthur逾越階級冒著被發現的風險品嚐對方悸動的唇瓣又算什麼？真正該接受懲罰的應該是罪大惡極的他才是。Merlin感到內疚極了，如果無法拯救Eylan，日後這將成為他與Arthur交往時的心病。「這是集體的決定，判決定下就不會更改。」Arthur試著表現公正，但察覺Merlin的狀況不太對，忍不住呼喚他的名字，「Merlin，你還好吧？」「一點也不好。我想...我們暫時不要私下見面比較好。」Merlin說話的時候眼淚湧入眼眶，沒想到下定決心竟然如此心痛，「我暫時無法面對你跟我們的原罪。每次看到你就想到：是你下了這樣不通情達理的決定。冒著被發現的風險對你跟我來說都是種沉重的負擔。」「Merlin，快別這麼說。」難得Arthur為一件事挫敗，他忍耐了許久，久到Merlin感到難堪打算離開現場才開口：「我需要你...」「喔...Arthur...你需要的只有你自己。」Merlin沒預料到向來高傲的堂兄竟然低頭了，不免訝異於他被逼迫到怎樣的程度，擦擦眼淚幾乎立刻心軟。「不，Merlin，我需要你。就算我看起來位高權重不可一世，有些事遠不是單人能力所能控制的，」Arthur謹慎的選擇措詞，畢竟這是攸關他與Merlin關係的重大時機，「譬如生在重視門當戶對的Pendragon家、譬如畢業後必須從軍報效朝廷、譬如...喜歡上身為放逐叔父獨子的你...」他深呼吸幾下，知道心有同感的Merlin聽進去了，「我很抱歉，推翻傳統前必須擁有強大的時勢推動與理論基礎，Eylan的錯誤不在於違反宿舍規矩本身，而是違反他入學時發誓遵守的誓言。對此宿舍監委無法認同，未來上戰場的話，你認為還有誰願意與他同袍替他擋子彈？」「誰要上戰場？還有畢業後為什麼你得從軍？」碰觸到Merlin的敏感神經冷不防快跳起來，他可憐的父親就是一次大戰擔任盟軍炮兵聯中校，碰到德軍的埋伏為國捐軀的，為此他過了好多年沒有父親的聖誕節，他對從軍可沒什麼青少年幻想式的憧憬。「身為Pendragon家族的繼承人，你以為我能夠脫離從軍的命運？等我從伊頓畢業，免不了尊崇傳統加入皇家空軍當飛行員，或許去布萊茲諾頓駐紮一陣子。」「我不要，你可以不去嗎？」早熟的Merlin難得表現如哭著要糖吃的孩子。「這可是你擺脫我的好機會，為什麼要阻止？你不是說好我們暫時不要私下見面？等我從軍以後，一切都迎刃而解，你再也不用擔心我對你是沉重的負擔。」「才不是呢！Arthur，你不可以拋下我，否則我也一起去。」提到從軍的瞬間Merlin立刻放棄與Arthur斬斷關係的念頭，他無法忍受Arthur在他看不見的地方腐朽凋零，「你知道我的父親是戰死的，對軍事我向來不感興趣，對空軍更是一竅不通。但是為了你我願意嘗試，你認為他們需要一個能背誦莎士比亞的二等兵當技師嗎？」沒想到Merlin立刻決定追來，由情侶間的爭執與純粹的擔憂化為助力，Arthur不禁暗自慶幸他沒有看錯人從緊皺眉頭笑了出來，「你一定可以勝任的。皇家空軍的箴言是拉丁語「Per Ardua ad Astra」，意思是「在逆境中飛向群星」。你不認為跟你很符合嗎？」「謝謝你願意相信我，我知道你的苦處了，以後不會再跟你吵架了。」原本古靈精怪的Merlin立刻懂事乖順了起來，之前他年紀太小，對父親的死無能為力，但是他如今十三歲了，距離畢業成為擁有肩膀的男人足足有五年的時間自我鍛鍊，保護Arthur免於傷害。他們張開雙臂彼此擁抱，僅此一次的爭執圓滿落幕，Merlin再也沒有為Arthur的冷落而避開他，將自己奉獻給Arthur的利他行為成為身為地下情人最重要的一環。畢業以後Arthur注定從軍，而Merlin沒有多少時間。他開始在學校劇團以精湛演技展露頭角的同時，更抓緊每個實時機研究電路機甲，就為了畢業後能進軍隊與Arthur肩並肩。愛的力量真是偉大，不是嗎？ ******************** 時光芢苒，經歷兩年公學生活洗鍊的Merlin長高了不少，現今十五歲的他擁有年輕男子稜角分明的輪廓與深邃眼眶的樣貌了，幾乎長成一個擁有英倫陰鬱氣質之美的美男子。黑髮的他如同Arthur的影子，如影隨形忠實伴隨他的主人。至於十八歲的Arthur Pendragon看起來更奪目了，擁有令人過目不忘壓倒性的存在感與美貌，令人無法忘記他的存在。尤其他湛藍的眼珠，是種接近海王星的湖水藍，擁有任何與他對峙的人都忍不住失神的魔力。公學的學生戲稱Merlin與Arthur是雙子星、更是Arthur的私人內務總管，凡是級長寢室小至茶葉品種大至壁爐火候控管皆由Merlin接手，低年級再不需要為Arthur的寢室操煩任何心思，級長寢室的茶几上永遠有Merlin替Arthur調製好的溫熱檸檬薑茶散發著宜人的香氣，還有熱水袋與熱毛巾供級長晨起溫暖僵硬的四肢。連Gwaine也忍不住開了小玩笑：如果Arthur有一天嫌Merlin插手太多想跟Merlin解約，歡迎Merlin來他位於北安普敦的宅邸應徵管家。除去內務總管般的心思細膩對級長的需求體貼入微，Merlin還擁有一雙難得一見化腐朽為神奇的靈活手指，舉凡期末學園祭上演的哈姆雷特話劇所需要的裝束裁縫、Gwaine拜託他拼裝的精巧飛行器模型Fairey Firefly II都難不倒他。 Arthur見Merlin具有組裝天分簡直喜出望外，特地托朋友到倫敦模型店買了一盒Hawker Demon盒玩送給 Merlin，手巧心細的Merlin把造型優雅的銀色雙翼戰機模型一塊一塊仔細拼好，珍惜地擺在床頭櫃賞玩。時不時有獅鷲外的住宿生特地前來瞻仰俐落的飛行器，擁有私心的Merlin小心翼翼卻從不吝惜展示Hawker Demon，與Arthur的感情無法宣諸於口，至少見到Hawker Demon的住宿生就彷彿見證Arthur對他的愛情。期末學園祭是每個社團拿出成果展示的時刻，如今的Merlin不再是當年手無縛雞之力又初來乍到的低年級少年，經過多次甄選的Merlin成為戲劇社最重要的下任主角人選，連高年級學長也對他精湛的演技刮目相看，校園地位水漲船高不可同日而語。雖然偶爾Edmund陣營的人還是對他有敵意，但愛拼裝愛讀書的Merlin知道如何找到無人的教室置身暴風雨中心外。Arthur更是率領伊頓足球隊殺入英格蘭校際盃競賽的前十強，幾場高質量的校外比賽Merlin當然不會缺席，加入由Gwaine和Lancelot號召組成的自發性隊伍負責為球隊遞水打雜。無論比分如何，暫停時段的Arthur再也不逃避Merlin接近的關懷，如今的他們對公眾場合克制自己的感情已經游刃有餘。伊頓的學生就連運動都注重儀態和著裝，力求球場上屬於紳士的君子之爭，身著墨黑訂作球衫、半筒短褲與即膝長襪的Arthur接過Merlin手中的水壺灌滿整張嘴、再朝稻子般的金髮狠狠淋了下去，渾身濕透的他回到場上與隊友圍成圓圈述說戰術、看起來豪放之餘骨子裡依然蘊藏貴族的英姿颯爽。等暫停哨音響起，Arthur抬起頭朝隊友拍拍手掌示意大家必須動起來。身為中場的他是渾然天成的領袖，Merlin從不懷疑這點，臉上是毫不掩飾的自豪。原本伊頓以1-1與主場哈弗斯托克中學打成平手，距離中場還有五分鐘的時間，擅長控制節奏的Arthur將球盤帶腳下，趁引開對方後衛的空檔一計傳中、傳到插上的Gwaine腳下，場旁的學生們紛紛發出或振奮或氣惱的激動吶喊，連Merlin也倒吸一口氣。不辱眾望的Gwaine趁天賜良機巧妙的挑射，球體展現美妙的弧度，球應聲破網。不用說現場觀眾隨即為之瘋狂，Gwaine迅速衝向球網旁向伊頓的啦啦隊展開手臂大肆歡呼，Arthur也跑了過來與Gwaine來個擊掌，在眾人衝過來淹沒Gwaine前回身向看台上的Merlin豎起了大拇指、朝自己胸脯拍了拍。拍紅雙手的Merlin朝他傻笑，笑得像個傻子一般。後退幾步轉身離開的Arthur退回中場協防僅存的幾分鐘，狂歡的這一刻沒有人注意到這對堂兄弟的互動，而Merlin知道Arthur的意思是：這顆進球獻給你。等慶賀的人群集體鬧到更衣室，與隊友紛紛握手擁抱的Arthur鬆了鬆肩膀朝背上擱了條毛巾往大澡堂旁的單人淋浴間走去，關上毛玻璃門打開花灑，溫度恰到好處的水流傾洩而下。倒了男士麝香口味的沐浴露抹了抹全身，嘩啦拉的水柱聲下似乎聽到有人喊他名字。「Arthur，你在嗎？」外頭是絕不錯認的Merlin的聲音。「Merlin你來的正好，替我把擺在置物櫃裡的替換衣物拿來好嗎？」方才Arthur滿是晉級後飄飄然的喜悅，渾然把最重要的內褲、襯衫與休閒褲拿進淋浴間作替換。「當然沒問題。」圍繞蒸汽的門外傳來Merlin打開櫃門的聲響，接然毛玻璃門傳來敲門聲，「Arthur你開門，衣服遞給你了。」「謝謝。」Arthur伸手接過衣物，感覺熟悉的身影晃過眼前，往濕淋淋的水柱下一站。只穿著一條內褲的Merlin渾身頓時被打濕了。「靠，Merlin！你幹嗎？我們現在人在外面，旁邊的淋浴間隨時有人進來...」小聲說話害他喝了幾口瀑布般淋下來的水，全身赤裸的Arthur擦了擦嘴低聲斥責，嘴便被一個柔軟的嘴唇給堵住了。「看到你結實的大腿肌肉在靈巧盤帶下若隱若現，我忍不住了...」享受嘴裡Arthur輕微地抗拒，一向乖順的Merlin知道不把他的"達靈頓之王"挑逗地理智全無注定受到責備，既然如此，勾引他讓他喪失理智不就好了？校園裡的每次親暱都經過精密的算計以防被同學發現，封閉校外的環境與贏球的激動讓Merlin忍不住放縱自我最深層的慾望，他想像這樣與Arthur在浴室激情做愛肌膚相親已經很久了。 Merlin朝Arthur腹肌的方向蹲下身來，張開挑逗的小嘴輕輕含住逐漸清醒的肉色柱身，花灑的水聲恰好掩蓋了Arthur那計「我操」的驚呼。「天呀...Merlin，你含的我好緊...你是去哪裡學壞了？」愛撫Merlin柔軟而濃密的髮絲，一向握籌帷幄的Arthur望著蹲下的Merlin失去叫停的能力。Merlin的口腔炙熱而溫暖，恰到好處包裹他硬挺起來的陰莖，濕滑的舌頭質地如絲緞般的觸感更是不斷滑過敏感翹起的粉色龜頭，自律如Arthur體驗了何謂"一頭栽進天堂"。「唔唔...」滿嘴塞滿男人陰莖的Merlin無法回答，平日靈巧的手指如今發揮最大的功用，精巧細膩的愛撫口中的陰莖，先緩緩吐出再深深吞吐直到咽喉深處。從頭頂Arthur掙動的手可以觀察到舔哪個部位最舒服，年輕男子從喉嚨深處發出低沉的呻吟聲，說不出慵懶的男低音有多麼催情，連帶Merlin的下半身也跟著立起了小帳棚。打從他們交往開始總是採取體外射精從不真正侵入體內傷害對方，這方面的Arthur是個真正的紳士，一直按耐等待Merlin年紀大些想清楚了再好好調教這具迷人的軀體。但是級長的巧妙克制不代表正直血氣方剛年紀的Merlin不想奉獻自己，校外比賽是個最恰當的時機，而他已經準備好向Arthur敞開身體走向最後一步。半公開的淋浴間求歡很是刺激，沈浸情慾漩渦的Arthur一邊顧慮隊友是否走進來一邊愛撫Merlin交合在他陰莖上的甜膩嘴唇，處於緊繃狀態的他很快就亢奮地繳械了。滿臉是水的Merlin破例舔了舔嘴唇邊充滿Arthur麝香氣味的白濁，顫動纖長的眼睫對Arthur發出誠摯的邀請：「Arthur，操我。我準備好了。」經過加時賽整整一百二十分鐘的拼博加上Merlin甜蜜的折騰，剛射精的Arthur稍微恢復了理智，「親愛的，比賽把我完全榨乾了。對不起註定要讓你失望...」「你是說你對我硬不起來嗎？」叛逆期的Merlin難得語帶挑釁，撕扯Arthur瀕臨崩潰的自制。「你會為你說的這句話付出代價的，但不是現在。我是想保護你啊，Merlin，所以別得寸進尺。」難得粗暴的Arthur一把把Merlin按到牆上，左手扣住他方才戲謔的手指、毫不閒著的右手往Merlin硬挺的柱身探去。「我也想滿足你，小傻瓜，你不懂我忍得多辛苦。但是這方式行不通，Gwaine他們隨時會進來，你也不希望我操你的第一次是落寞草草地結束吧...所以乖乖的，我用手幫你...」 Merlin發出失望的嗚咽，水流強烈的衝擊下神智逐漸迷盲，耳邊是Arthur低聲的呢喃：「別焦急，下個週五我發函邀請朋友與你來廣闊的溫莎公園看我打馬球，屆時我們再繼續...這次，不會停...」「唔...溫莎公園？」被壓在牆上的Merlin扭頭與Arthur親吻，不太明白週五屬於家人的Arthur怎麼會挑週五邀請他。雖然溫莎城堡盤踞在距離公學五百公尺外的山頭，身為Pendragon家族養子的Merlin連溫莎城堡的正門都沒踏入過。他沒那個勇氣面對Arthur血統與他相差十萬八千里的事實。「小笨蛋，你還不懂嗎？」背後Arthur嗝嗝發笑散發強烈的性感氣息，有個答案呼之欲出，「聽你的事聽到耳朵長繭了，我母親與我姐姐Morgana想見你。見見你這個身為我"摯友"姓Emrys的小伙子。」「欸，我的天！」Merlin喘了粗氣，眼前是一陣暈眩的白光，意識到Arthur的言下之意後控制不住地戰慄射了Arthur滿手。 ※後記：我最近看完諾蘭大導的“敦克爾克”(Dunkirk)迷上了戰爭文學(大概)，以前雖然對戰爭題材有興趣卻遲遲不敢帶入相關時代背景，因為沒有自信能寫出不是BE的作品，現在終於有勇氣著墨相關的部分了。當初寫這篇文章大概設定時空是一次世界大戰到二次世界大戰的戰爭空窗期，所以文字方面也不那樣現代化，希望大家喜歡這樣有些復古的世界觀。如大家所見，這一章寫完就變成限制級了，原來在輔導級跟限制級之間打轉，但因為作者本人喜好，最後還是寫成更好發揮的限制級(´∀｀)，希望大家喜歡(๑´ڡ`๑) ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- (本章寫作/閱讀時的BGM，聆聽請點這裡●●) 尾聲的禮拜五下午向來是學生最愜意的時光，但是今天與往日格外不同，摸著不規則律動的心跳，Merlin聯想起第一次搭乘轎車前Pendrgon宅邸的忐忑不安。今日是他與Arthur前往溫莎城堡作客住宿一晚的日子，也是第一次與僅存的少數親人、Arthur的母親、國王的女兒Igraine殿下會面。抓起略顯鼓脹的行囊，行囊裡頭的替換衣物是獅鷲家長Lancelot的心意。「我了解穿著公學制服是屬於我們的榮耀，但是你總不能穿公學制服去溫莎馬球場，弄髒制服外套就糟糕了。身為獅鷲的家長，這些我穿不下的套裝借你，讓你襯得起Arthur也免得制服受損，伊頓黑西裝白領結的制服到了哪裡都彰顯高貴不凡──除了馬球場跟溫莎城堡的國宴廳外。」無比感謝Lancelot的細心，Merlin滿懷感激地答應了。把自己唯一一套便服──亞麻白襯衫和棕櫚綠長褲收到行囊後，望著盛情難卻的Lancelot硬塞給他的青少年晚宴服、狩獵服、騎馬裝、三件式西服佔滿整座床，一向節儉的Merlin對著不屬於自己的華貴衣物興嘆，不知去溫莎城堡用不用得著這些正式衣裝。來不及詢問Arthur的意見下只好把正式的幾套服裝帶上，免得不符合禮節丟了Pendragon家族與Arthur的臉。向公學禮拜用的哥德式教堂小徑走去，外頭是午後寧靜的尋常街道，鋪設石磚的人行道上有個人影引領企盼，頂著陽光下發亮的金髮、手插褲袋原地踱步，身影蠢動正是等待著他的Arthur。剪裁合身的黑色西服配上象徵伊頓菁英中的菁英的自選燙金色背心，身為伊頓學生會POP成員的Arthur永遠是學生目光矚目的焦點，配上天生金髮整個人充滿尊貴氣勢，肩背手工縫製的牛皮斜肩側背包，唯有緊抿的嘴唇洩漏他跟Merlin一樣暗藏心事。「我等你十五分鐘了，還有這包愚蠢的行李是怎麼回事？」難得見到如此緊繃的Arthur，一開始不解的Merlin從僵硬的肢體語言猜測不單單是久久等候引來Arthur的不悅，基於他習慣以不可一世的蠻橫掩蓋焦躁的情緒，於是Merlin停下準備張口解釋的嘴猶豫了起來。Arthur沒有理由不安，互相撫慰那天的他興致勃勃，如今卻幾乎不怎麼正視Merlin的臉。Merlin看向手下足足有五公斤重的行李袋，真不知道不識時務的Lance是好意還是惡作劇。「我怕制服壓皺了，蒐集了一些休閒服帶上，越想越怕參與無法預期的場合，你也沒告訴我該割捨什麼樣的衣服，乾脆一併帶了... 」「一般來說只要穿制服就夠了，馬球場你只是觀眾，穿上你的休閒褲就夠了...算了，跟上吧。」Arthur一甩身上的側背包，示意Merlin跟著他走。與Arthur的朋友聚會偶爾選擇伊頓鎮上一間綠色油漆裝潢、窗櫺點綴紫堇花的歐式餐飲店舉行，但是與Arthur這樣單人並肩前往溫莎古堡倒是頭一次。沒有想像中的高級轎車送行，Arthur如普通學生般獨立跨步而行，從中鍛鍊公學要求的良好品行與堅忍意志，路上還平易近人朝幾個熟悉的店家老闆打招呼。橫跨泰晤士河的伊頓橋有涼風拂過，西邊山坡上著名的溫莎城堡橫跨幾世紀聳立於此。Merlin見識摯愛臉龐上的汗珠沿著鬢角悄悄滑落。伊頓橋上飽覽河岸豐富的景致，岸邊小酒館三五顧客倚著餐椅慵懶舒適享用桌上的佳餚，幾名頑童踏著絨絨草地玩耍互相追逐，眼前是鎮民愜意閒適生活的氣氛，卻不屬於Merlin和Arthur，一股微妙的距離橫亙於兩人間。今日Arthur心事重重，Merlin不敢隨意打擾他。雖然公眾場合避免過度親密是兩人間的共識，趕不上步伐的Merlin仍感受到來自堂兄的冷落步伐落後於兩步之外。他似乎思考著什麼，自從足球比賽晉級Arthur向他提到伯母的溫莎之約後，Arthur就變得深不可測，看來像掌控情報卻無可奉告的政要。但這樣很好，見到Igraine前的他最不需要的就是Arthur的溫柔，保持適當距離維持堂兄弟表象是必須的。默不作聲的Merlin掩不住疾行帶來的氣喘吁吁，從心事回神的Arthur忍不住回頭：「跟上啊，這點路程就累了，等會兒爬到拱橋入口可有你受了。」當Arthur伸出手示意他可以放下僵硬肩膀上的行李換他來背，單靠肢體語言的溫柔幾乎令Merlin想忘記方才決定保持距離的決定當眾吻他。但是這太冒險了，Merlin只能將行李遞過去然後低下頭望著擦亮的皮鞋鞋尖。「就說你帶太多了，現在吃到苦頭了吧。」似乎沒查覺Merlin的天人交戰，Arthur扛起他的行囊開始朝伊頓橋盡頭的山路爬行，頭一回Merlin自責沒好好鍛練自己的體能，刻意漿得發硬的領口浸染一層薄薄的微汗。好不容易抵達溫莎城堡的私人入口，門口是站崗的軍人與安檢警衛，安檢警衛大叔顯然認識Arthur，對Arthur身後的Merlin則是探了探：「帶了朋友來啊，Sir。」「Jack，我說過喊我Arthur就好。這是我的堂弟Merlin。」「幸會。看來你們獵了好幾隻大雁準備帶來廚房加菜？」指了指Arthur背上那一袋Merlin的行囊，幽默感十足的大叔Jack很快化解了Merlin初次抵達城堡的徬徨。「你好。」Merlin害羞地打招呼。「別小看這包行李，全是伊頓庭院裡獵來的，今晚我們都有口福了。」Arthur隨口幽默地說。打完招呼的Arthur領著Merlin通過崗哨，路過佈滿槍眼的斑駁城牆與防禦用的圓塔往私人住所的城堡上區邁步。「西邊那頭有許多外交大廳，」Arthur冷靜向西側指了指，「包括了聖喬治大廳。聖喬治大廳的天花板裝飾著許多過去的紋章與現在的嘉德勳章，晚點再帶你去參觀。母親住在東側私人的皇家套房，宮廷內侍習慣這時候把下午茶準備好，我們一會就加入她們。你一定要喝點充滿療效的洋甘菊茶，那是我喝過最好喝最解渴的滋味。」「Arthur，你有心事嗎？」Merlin從沒見過滔滔不絕卻不顧他反應的Arthur，感覺有些陌生，「你知道我喜歡你，有什麼事都可以找我商量。」「停下...別說喜歡這個字！這裡可是溫莎，隨便一句話就能置身於危險之中。」穿著金黃背心壓低聲音的Arthur難得隱忍，貌似抗拒張牙舞爪的野獸壓抑自己。以POP成員的口吻而不是情人的態度對Merlin說話。「我以為是你母親邀我來參加下午茶，應該是開開心心而不是這樣陰陽怪氣。」經過這一責罵，擁有自尊的Merlin徹底委屈起來，今日的Arthur有些古怪，難道他突然玩膩悖德愛情遊戲打算從良履行家族義務了？不，Arthur不是這種人。他只能為愛上一個我行我素的貴族混球而忐忑不安。「我離你遠遠的，可以了嗎？」「抱歉...Merlin。我只是累積了壓力，發洩在你身上。」「是怎樣的壓力？」「晚一點我會告訴你，現在還不是時候。」Arthur踏上建築群中其中一棟的階梯，對著正門門環扣了兩下。稱職的管家接過Arthur身上的行李，回報Igraine殿下正在等他們。有旁人在Merlin不好再發出疑問，只好把無數疑惑藏到心底。譬如說：Igaine殿下與Morgana會不會喜歡他，還是像Uther一樣做做表面功夫。伯父的冷漠帶給他不小的陰影，Merlin只希望沒見過的伯母是真誠想見他而不是貴族虛偽的客套。踏著莊嚴的地毯路過數幅家族成員收集的不同品味油畫，接著映入眼簾的就是古老傳統布置的接待廳。由義大利蒐集來的套組沙發上坐著金髮碧眼的美婦人，穿戴的套裝沒有額外繁複的裝飾但質地高雅，修長的頸間配戴一副精緻的祖母綠鑽項鍊，鵝蛋臉上高挺的鼻樑有著與Arthur相似的輪廓，不用特地介紹也猜得出她的身分──Arthur的母親Igrine女士。沙發旁則是大學生年紀的黑髮少女，擁有少有的碧綠色雙眸與Arthur相同的驕傲眼神，長相則是偏向Uther一些，應該是Arthur的姐姐Morgana了。「母親、Morgana，這是Merlin。Merlin，這是我母親與Morgana。」「終於見面了，Merlin。這麼晚才邀請你真是抱歉。」優雅得體的Igrine站起身接受兩位少年的問候，熱絡又恰到好處地招呼他們加入早備好的下午茶行列。與Uther不同的是：她的神情雍容而充滿暖意，笑容中擁有一股強大的親和力，從沒見過面的Merlin很快對她產生親近的好感。與Uther之間的差異之大，不用他人多加聯想也明白性格差異是伯父與伯母分居的原因。「你好，Merlin，如果你曾聽過有個人踢過孩童時Arthur的屁股害他哭了一整晚，那個罪魁禍首就是我。」自我介紹之餘的Morgana不忘出口嘲笑Arthur，獲得驕傲弟弟的一計眼刀。「你們好，我一直想見見你們。我是Merlin，今後請多多指教。」乖巧的Merlin凝視眼前尊貴的女士，很快沉浸於主動風趣的話題、為沒及早認識她而惋惜。至於Morgana看起來是個驕傲的大學生，對他這個高中生似乎興致缺缺，對抓弄Arthur倒是興致盎然。許久以後才明白原來她一直在貴族的虛偽與信奉馬克思主義間徘徊，是以遠沒有Igraine來的熱絡。但生性叛逆的她後來與Merlin成為莫逆之交。「我們早從Arthur那邊聽到不少你的事，關於你熱衷於戲劇演出，畢業後還打算陪Arthur進入空軍擔任技師。」Igrine親自為兒女們端來各種茶包果醬，Merlin從中揀選了Arthur喜愛的黃金蜂蜜──他已經習慣配合Arthur抹這口味配思康吃。「是的，女士。」「說到皇家空軍，今早我領取了募軍單，已經填寫回覆了。」Arthur接話下去，「身為國王的外孫，為國家服役兩年是蛻變為成人的重要儀式。一起畢業的Gwaine也選擇參軍，只是Gwaine投效的目標是海軍，他想藉著搭乘驅逐艦的機會到遠東周遊列國。」Arthur與Merlin默契十足同時拿起三層午茶架上的藍莓餡塔，彷彿一正一反的鏡像，只是Arthur盯著鮮豔的藍色不吃，思考如何表達措辭，「Merlin畢業後不會跟著我去當個軍人。」「咦？」幾乎同時間，除了Arthur以外的在座三人發出疑惑，尤其是Merlin，他不懂為何Arthur要說謊。「我們昨天談論過的，是吧。」Arthur刻意昂起語調徵詢Merlin的意見。Merlin只好放下到嘴的藍莓餡塔，上面沾著水珠的藍莓令人垂涎欲滴，如今藍莓塔裡頭彷彿掺了砒霜。「Merlin擁有戲劇天份，還擁有一雙巧手，扔到機甲轟隆作響的軍營裡未免太可惜了。他值得聘任於高收入的百貨手藝工作坊擔任裁縫設計師，或是一個出色的劇場總監，不用服役同樣可以報效國家，他巧手變換出的作品足夠提高時尚界的生產力。」Arthur自顧自地說。「那也是很好的出路，只要Merlin開口，我認識倫敦老字號百貨Liberty時裝部的經理，他們手工訂製的緞料是品質最好的，裁縫師與設計師也是，或許畢業後Merlin有興趣去那裡嘗試應徵？」「嗯...謝謝女士的建議，我會好好考慮。」Merlin說。無法理解Arthur提議的他只能滿頭霧水配合Arthur演出權宜之計。但是緊握的拳頭因緊握而冒汗。差點忘了從小掌控一切的Arthur有個壞習慣：自以為是的他向來獨斷安排立下決定不曾事先商量，好像他不是個活生生的人而是漂亮展示的洋娃娃。不得不說下午茶的融化起司龍蝦燉蛋三明治是Merlin嚐過最極致的人間美味，印度上等阿薩姆紅茶佐以柑橘、藍莓果粒的酸甜口感更是令舌尖整個雀躍，更不用說接下來鬆軟溫熱的思康與甜點了。但Merlin的心還是為Arthur的擅自決定心生埋怨。他豐厚的唇形尾端抿成薄薄一條線，一旁的Arthur以完美的優雅姿勢手端王室收藏的骨瓷杯啜飲洋甘菊茶，英挺的鼻樑自帶氣勢逼人的貴氣；Merlin突然洩氣了，再怎麼任性也敵不過眼前擁有王室血脈的天之嬌子，就像眼前不是人人能吃到的米其林級藍莓餡塔。重拾乖巧的他乾脆專心一意進攻被冷落一段時間的藍莓餡塔。鼓起腮幫品嚐美食的Merlin偶爾才跟上Pendragon一家三口上流社會的高質量對話，確定留給Igraine極好的印象，因為她對待他與對待Arthur並無區別。最後年紀尚輕的他話題跟不上了，乾脆眨著迷途小鹿般興致盎然的大眼睛、安靜聆聽Arthur母子談論英國的金融時勢與德國納粹黨的興起，偶爾莫嘉娜撩撩長髮往對桌的Merlin望來擠出一個絕美的微笑、他連忙陪笑回去，希望沒讓她發現笑容中被Arthur刻意忽略的苦澀。心境受Arthur陰晴不定的影響，首度嘗試人生最美好下午茶的Merlin還是透過味蕾的體驗不斷傳出盛讚與謳歌，不安的情緒經由美食適時撫慰了一番，貴族仕女熱衷於下午茶甜點算是切身體驗了一遍。美味的藍莓塔與手工焗烤布丁不愧是調劑生活的最佳方式，堪稱面對Arthur獨斷宣言時最有療效的靈丹妙藥。結束了”美妙”又暗潮洶湧的午茶時光，擔任東道主的Arthur帶領Merlin穿過玄關階梯前往他們今晚的臥房──玄關階梯旁展示了亨利八士收集的戰士全身鎧甲，雄糾糾氣昂昂鎮守整座宮殿通往私人套房的門戶。正準備向Merlin說話，階梯旁走近一位穿著粉紅套裝的年輕少女。「嗨，Arthur。聽我父親說你今天來了，還帶著你朋友。有什麼需要我效勞的嗎？」女孩豐滿的臉頰帶有笑起來甜美的酒窩，凝視Arthur的目光令Merlin如此熟悉──這個女孩跟我一樣喜歡Arthur。愛意藏都不藏毫不掩飾。「Sophia，這是我的堂弟Merlin Emrys。Merlin，這是內勤總管Ferguson的掌上明珠Sophia Ferguson。她週末偶爾來溫莎城堡幫忙鋪墊被褥、清理窗簾與擦拭各大房間梳妝台與珠寶台的細膩活，是宮裡最明亮的一道風景。」亮麗的女孩發出銀鈴般的笑聲。究竟Arthur是出於禮貌的恭維還是故意與女孩調情，連Merlin也分不清，只能絞緊手指避免表現得像個不識大體的鄉下姑娘。「聽到你指定Merlin住那間”藍屋”起居室，我還有點訝異呢！那間採光不是很好…又位處偏間…」Sophia似乎剛審視完藍屋確認屋況合宜接待重要的客人，手上還拿著雞毛撢。「還好我一大早就把窗戶開啟了，通風過後應該好多了。他的牆壁採用都鐸藍進行粉刷，也沒有看不懂的後現代主義掛畫作為裝飾，想必任何普通男孩都會喜歡的。」「謝謝妳，多虧妳的巧手，Merlin擁有一個絕佳的溫莎城堡住宿體驗。」Arthur朝Sophia優雅行禮，果然逗得她心花努放。一旁的Merlin見到兩人之間的眉目傳情，尷尬地想隨手拔出一旁收藏的名劍朝自己頸間刎去。等抵達Sophia口中地處偏僻的藍屋，是位於五十公尺長走廊末端的邊間起居室。Arthur放下Merlin五公斤的行囊，從門邊回首對望著房間玻璃吊燈發呆的他說：「我回房間換下制服西裝背心，等一會兒見。」離開前Arthur順便把高即屋頂的實心木門掩上。換下象徵菁英的金色背心才是他熟悉的Arthur。Merlin目送他離去、任自己重重摔進柔軟的被褥，高級雙人床墊遠比宿舍的硬木板床舒適許多，但是Arthur的反常歷歷在目，與Sophia的互動更是暗流湧動，他都快不清楚他在想什麼了。會不會習慣受人矚目的Arthur厭倦隱藏陽光下的戀情不能宣之於口？還是我只是高不可攀的他的眾多情人之一，Sophia是他在溫莎的情人？奇怪的態度源於他在意她的感受。拒絕從軍或許就是這麼一回事…滿腦子胡思亂想的他兜兜轉轉又回到原點，自認掌握了與Arthur間的愛情，實際上純屬打破水瓢一場空…不不不，Arthur不是這種人，必須相信他的公正坦蕩…雖然是個擅自決定他人命運的高傲混球…或許待會能談談什麼壓力造成他的難言之隱...正當Merlin好不容易擺脫愁眉苦臉把Lancelot借給他的好幾套"好意”掛進高級黑檀木衣櫃，突覺背後一陣龍捲風似的人影捲過他將他往床上一撲，一個熟悉的氣息順勢撲上他的臉頰。「Merlin…」「你從哪裡進來的？」盯著沒開啟的正門，嚇一大跳的Merlin瞪著方才讓他愚蠢煩惱的罪魁禍首──換下制服外套的Arthur身穿樣式簡單的藍襯衫，領口幾顆鈕扣沒扣、鍛鍊過的胸膛若隱若現，增添幾分性感的味道。低頭的他非常享受把他壓在身下、反襯白色床單的咖啡色鬈髮還有詫異睜大的雙眼，沿著鎖骨延伸就是一個個吻。「這間“藍屋”曾是戰爭時君主撤退路線中的偏間，與隔壁接待室相連的密道直通我住的”洛可可室”。」Arthur吻到Merlin的敏感點，得意地聽到他的抽氣聲，「當然是我特意的安排，如此一來沒人能打擾我們獨處，沒有階級之分，沒有禮儀作梗，一週以來我一直等待擁你入懷的這一刻。」動情的Merlin不禁喜出望外，熟悉屬於他的Arthur又回來了，但是方才的不安令他擺盪偏過頭去，倔強咬住嘴唇的思索該不該發問。「怎麼了，你不開心？」Arthur扳過他見過擁有最優美顴骨的臉。「我不開心沒關係，Sophia開心就好。」Merlin半賭氣半試探地說。「Sophia？為何扯到她？她就像是我的妹妹，我們之間什麼也沒有。」「但是她看起來可不是這麼想的。先是Sophia，還有你自做主張決定從軍的事，毫不商量就擅自決定。我能忍受公眾場合你避免正眼看我，但是如果你厭倦我了、打算分手的話，我應該第一個知道...」說這些話幾乎耗盡Merlin的自尊，難得挫敗的他捂著額頭不願意面對不肯正面分享的Arthur。「Merlin，我沒有打算分手。就算別人覺得毛骨悚然我也沒後悔過。看著我，是時候向你坦承一切。」Arthur說。背影留給自己的Merlin翻身坐起面向Arthur，執著渴望真相：「說吧，我在聽呢！」高傲的Arthur滿臉難言之隱用拇指搓搓嘴唇：「我欠你一個解釋，你有權知道一切。之所以不敢找你、甚至希望你不要從軍完全是我單方面的私慾，軍營體制不同與公學開放，同性間的追逐傾慕或許公學可以容忍，軍營裡卻唯有服從紀律和軍官的命令。一想到畢業即將和你分離就更無法克制自己想要你的慾望，光看到一個渾然天成的黑髮精靈眨著水藍的眼眸經過伊頓門口向我迎來，根本無法克制吻住你的衝動。這樣下去太危險了，你也明白軍紀如山，待在同一個軍營我不知道我會做出什麼違紀的事。想到事情爆發後害你承受的苦難、我就難辭其咎。」「我們很小心，事情永遠不會爆發的，好嗎？」Merlin的手背溫柔劃過情人的臉龐，原來Arthur跟他一樣愛得隱忍愛得辛苦。「...你認識八年級生Mordred吧？」Arthur的眼神閃過鋒利的痛楚。「小Mordred？當然認識，他跟我一樣是貴族的養子，從入學以來一直很崇拜我，甚至加入莎士比亞戲劇社。是我教他威爾斯腔幫助他進入角色，還得了最佳新人獎。」聯想起機警又天賦異稟的Mordred剛進公學什麼人也不信任的神情，勾起Merlin過去的回憶關照了這個沒安全感的孩子。對Mordred， Merlin的評價是：這孩子的未來要不是大好就是大壞。「他崇拜你，所以發現我們不容於世的愛情後由不知所措轉為瘋狂的嫉妒，」Arthur語帶平靜的述說足以毀天滅地，「學園祭演完”仲夏夜之夢”當天，他看到了。」話劇社社長當眾宣布他為下任主角候選人的那天，Arthur眼看四下無人情不自禁給他一個超出朋友過於熱烈的擁抱，並且低頭吻了他灑有金粉的鬢角和繪有豔紅彩妝的眼眶，惹得Merlin額頭抵住他的額頭。怎知運氣不巧被躲在暗處想向Merlin道賀的Mordred偷窺到。排山倒海的暈眩感直擊Merlin而來，為何如此濃情蜜意的溫存偏偏被執著的小伙子看到？他鐵定猜到他們的關係了。睜大的嘴半晌才找回聲音：「只是一個鬢角的吻，說明不了什麼。他是八年級生，你是公學西翼達靈頓的級長，男校裡處處是追求同伴玩戀愛遊戲和貓膩臥室裡談心的男孩，相約體育更衣室互打手槍更是大家心照不宣的秘密，相較之下我們並不惹眼。」「但是Arthur Pendragon品學兼優以身做則，向來不屑於表裡不一的猥褻勾當，被譽為卓越的達靈頓之王。身為他堂弟的Merlin Emrys則是公學少見的閒雲野鶴，從不參與學生自治黨派寧願與新生打成一片。」Arthur念出宿舍生對他們的評價，不知為何如今聽來只剩苦澀。敏銳的Mordred察覺到他們與一般男孩的單純發洩不同而是真正的戀愛，震驚的他憤怒於偶像對心目中形象的背叛，向信奉迂腐教條準備踏上殖民主義體制的Edmund Barclay告密。「就因為我奪走他的偶像、身為話劇社明日之星的Emrys的名譽，他想報復。」Arthur無奈地說。身為Arthur入學以來的對頭，向來比不過他的Edmund Barclay如今耀武揚威了，著急的Gwaine攔住Arthur查證，得到“無可奉告”的回應。但是Barclay不是省油的燈，「不用他說我也知道男同性戀在如今英國會被判處嚴重猥褻罪，如果不想離開學校後因違反同性戀法而被拘捕的話，就應該自動請辭級長的職務並退出伊頓學生會以維護伊頓的光榮，否則難保有人洩漏訊息，到時我父親鐵定我把關起來，運氣不好可能還得入獄服刑...Barclay暗示我是個厲害的對手，應該明白怎麼選擇對自己最有利...」「你應該向任何人否認我們的關係，我們除了是堂兄弟沒有任何瓜葛，一切都是Mordred的幻想。情急之下你應該這麼解釋！」Merlin從沒這麼焦急過，沒想到Arthur的反常緣於背後這麼大的陰謀，而他早該想到不該總跑到無人的教室置身事外。現在他寧可自己早點接受監督生的職務擁有發言權替他澄清。「我做不到，要我昧著良心否認我們的關係，這不是傷害你是什麼？」Arthur毫不妥協地否決，「我不承認這是犯罪，愛上另一個男人並沒有錯，就算我愛上的是自己的堂弟。信奉日不落帝國主義的Barclay過於虛偽，無法包容其他的思想，入學以來我們一直互看不順眼，如果今天我請辭換他拱手上位，不知變通的他絕對成為不容異己的獨裁者，他會把宿舍當成軍營來控管，整個達靈頓將屈服於他的淫威之下。」「但是你得先保護你自己...」「我絕不會臨陣退縮，畢業前的最後幾個月絕不以不名譽的方式請辭。Gwaine和Lancelot信任我的為人，是最忠實的伙友，最壞的結果是伊頓學生會POP成員組成的紀律委員會證明我有罪，他們願意作證是我強迫你的，你不至於受到連累。至於Mordred單方面的指控，我將以毫不含糊的態度與以反擊。在我看來，你是我一生相伴的摯友，彼此之間的愛是靈魂相通，最純正、高尚、無法污衊。是最高貴的愛情形式。」聽Arthur堅誓捍衛愛情的堡壘，驚慌進而感動的Merlin倒率先冷靜下來，「不，Arthur，你絕對不能為了我遭受紀律委員會鞭刑的侮辱，更不能因此被開除。這是個虛偽的社會，無法容忍同性戀，如果日後你因為愛上我被送進監獄，我絕對無法原諒自己情願選擇自殺。所以你否認我們的關係吧，否則不僅是我，視我如子的伯母與Morgana也會為此哭泣的。相信我。只要你對我忠誠，我絕對至死屬於你。高傲的你必須繼續擔任達靈頓之王，而不是Barclay踩在腳下棄如敝屣的過街老鼠。」「你打算怎麼做？」Ａrthur問到。「何不試著跟Sophia交往，一旦你有了女朋友，謠言就不攻自破了。」Ｍerlin情急之下只能想出這種傷人傷己的方式，但為了保全Arthur顧不了那麼多。「這提議就像叫你為了安撫Mordred發誓專屬於他一樣，根本不可行。」Arthur說。他的果斷拒絕令Merlin鬆了一口氣，但同時又焦急起來。「求你了，Arthur...我也不愛推波助瀾求你們嘗試交往。這有助於否認Mordred的指控。我們的愛應該是互相成就而不是互相毀滅，絕對不是為了讓你身敗名裂受世人唾棄...」「Merlin，有時候你意外的成熟，連我分居的父母也該對你刮目相看的。」Arthur看向Merlin的眼神帶有疑惑和畏懼，「可惜我遠沒有你那樣寬廣的胸襟，這件事沒得商量，答應我別做傻事。」見Arthur眼中幾乎噴出火來，Merlin唯有遵從他的意願：「好的，Sophia這條路行不通，我會另想辦法。」「難得來溫莎玩就別掃興了，該下去用晚飯了。」懷抱心事的Merlin勸不動向來自傲的Arthur，唯有尋求身為專屬學長同樣是Arthur鐵哥兒的Gwaine協助，當晚他擅自撥打了宿舍的電話，勢單力薄的他不敢向熱心的Gwaine完全坦白、只鉅細靡遺描述事情的險惡、述說對方打算擊潰Arthur的單方面的計畫。「我的老天爺，這真是太荒謬了。」Gwaine聽到對方指控Arthur愛的是男人，立刻出現一般人無法認同急於否認的態度。「你必須幫幫Arthur，我想不到其他人了，你會幫他吧？」Merlin不奢求他能接受，只求他伸出援手。「當然，但是恐怕你得做一件不喜歡的事...」「只要可以幫到Arthur，什麼事我都願意做！」「很好，聽我的，有個方式應該行得通...」好不容易掛上電話，Merlin軟了腳癱坐在地毯上，不喜歡捲入寡頭政治的他再也無法置身事外。＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊老天賞臉，馬球賽當日難得陰陰鬱鬱的英格蘭上空出現陽光穿透厚實雲層的晴朗天氣，英國有句俗諺「擅長騎馬不一定是貴族，貴族一定擅長騎馬」，早起的Arthur領著Merlin前往溫莎城堡西側的皇家馬廄探訪他的馬兒。每回前來溫莎拜訪的早晨，Arthur總不忘親自前來餵食這匹名為”雷霆”的馬兒吃草，何況今日要騎著牠角逐競技。這匹駿馬是Arthur十二歲的生日禮物，亮黑色的鬃毛質地細緻，身型豐朗又帶有脾氣，蹄子上的腳踝帶有一道有別於其他馬兒的白紋，噴出熱氣的鼻子朝Arthur伸出的手蹭了蹭。身穿棉質緊身休閒衫的Arthur盯著一旁身穿黑色西服肩膀鑲嵌金紋的Merlin，「怎麼穿的這麼拘束，這件衣服哪裡來的，沒見你穿過？」支支吾吾了好一會，Merlin決定選擇說實話，「我沒有適合看馬球賽的衣服，這件是Lancelot的…」「Lancelot…哼，好個Lancelot。這裡準備了客人騎的馬，更衣室有我多餘的休閒服，去給我換來。」Arthur鬆開綁住雷霆的韁繩，「快去換呀？還磨磨蹭蹭什麼？你也想騎馬吧。」待在Pendragon莊園曾受過馬術訓練的Merlin自從就讀伊頓之後，馬術跟著生疏不少，但皇家馬廄的馬匹品種遠高於Pendragon莊園，吸引人想跨上馬背一覽溫莎田園風光。因此也不跟Arthur爭辯，進了更衣室找到Arthur的更衣櫃，從十幾套服飾中挑了一套合身的羊毛Polo衫換上，黑色皮鞋也換成皮革製成的棕色長靴，襯托雙腿更加修長。更衣完畢的他走出來讓Arthur檢驗穿搭，直到Arthur確認他全身上下都是屬於自己的服裝感到滿意為止。雖然不是Arthur常穿的款式，胸圍尺寸也過於寬鬆，但是Merlin為第一次名正言順穿上Arthur的衣物心口小鹿亂撞，沒忽略Arthur謹慎言行背後的一絲得意。身為溫莎公園的御林軍馬球俱樂部的一員，Arthur從九歲就開始參與馬球比賽，前往馬廄與雷霆培養感情是賽前固定的迷信儀式。他翻身躍上馬背，指導馬夫協助Merlin騎上另一頭性格溫順的母馬茉莉，一前一後往樹叢茂密處踱步，清晨的空氣飽含水氣，衣裳很快被朝露的葉片打濕，Merlin卻覺得能暫時忘懷公學低年級的失序指控擁有與Arthur屬於兩人的靜謐時光是種莫大的幸福。「想策馬奔馳嗎？來吧！」前頭的Arthur回頭吆喝，Merlin一時豪情萬丈，也執起韁繩踢了下胯下的馬肚，兩人策馬奔馳在無人的秘境小道上，前夜壓抑的情緒頓時一掃而空。小道的樹葉被馬蹄踩過發出陣陣沙沙聲，等兩人盡興了才勒馬急停，隨著Arthur停在一個被藤蔓纏繞的林間小屋前。「這是狩獵小屋，裏頭專門擺放狩獵用的器材，還有一個裝滿鏡子的房間稱為鏡廳，相傳十八世紀鏡子是稀罕品，我沒有品味的祖先就弄了一大堆來裝飾整個大廳…」Arthur走過去確認門有沒有上鎖，朝後頭牽著馬發楞的Merlin招招手，然後一把摟住他柔韌的腰。「今天馬球賽後，我在這裡等你。上次我說過了：這一次，不會停。」朝Merlin敏感的耳畔低喃，彷彿立下誓言的Arthur確定他聽到了，圓潤的耳廓呈現漂亮的鮮紅色。他們雙雙回到宮廷享用豐盛的早餐，接近十點再一同騎馬到馬球場參與預定好的賽事。縱使對騎馬不陌生，Merlin自認講求策馬奔馳的馬球運動還是超越他的極限，於是待在觀眾席看Arthur與前來參賽的Gwaine握手，對Lancelot則瞪了他一眼閒他多事，然後與受邀前來的馬術業餘隊展開高質量的較量。整場馬球賽既刺激又帶有威嚴感，”雷霆”上的Arthur身姿矯健，擊球時強壯的臂肌展現難以忽視的力量，姿態尊貴又控制比賽的節奏，一群馬匹交戰展現的技術、戰略與禮儀更令場邊的Merlin躍躍欲試，但是他的平衡感與爆發力遠遠不及Arthur或同齡的夥伴，只好文質彬彬待在場邊與服裝華美的佳麗們為場上的男兒加油，然後為接下來的自作主張咬著手指。策馬馳騁的Arthur不用說有多瀟灑帥氣，陽光下爽朗笑開的他愉快於進了場上最多比分。等比賽結束哨聲響起，伺機尋找Arthur攀談的Sophia Ferguson走下看台朝牽著雷霆的Arthur走去，心情正好的Arthur與她有說有笑構成一幅俊男美女的美妙圖畫。Merlin看了眼走向場邊的Gwaine，對方朝他點點頭，看台側幾個八卦雜誌記者正高舉相機朝Arthur與Sophia的方向猛拍，後者並沒有發現。Gwaine求助家族公關尋得的解套方式或許違背Arthur的意志，但是Merlin還是默默祈禱這個最後的險棋能奏效，保住Arthur不受到醜聞指控的影響。週末受Igrine邀請賓客雲集的晚宴上，沒有人注意兩個少年何時離席。狩獵小屋做為距離主殿外六百公尺的離宮，向來無人拜訪的夜間竟然燈火通明，地板上傾倒兩罐飲盡的琴酒與香檳空瓶，隔壁布有帷幕的床舖上，兩具交疊的身體在燭台的照明下、帷幕上映出融合為一的影子。佈滿肌肉的Arthur大腿內側夾住發育中堂弟的窄腰，俯下寬肩對著黑髮少年忘情索吻。一開始是品嚐嘴邊酒味蜻蜓點水的親吻，隨著手探進逐漸凌亂的襯衫，舌頭嬉戲的力道緩緩加深，腹部蓄積了熱力，甜蜜的親吻風向一變轉為把對方拆吃入腹的溼吻。吸吮、啃噬、甜膩、疼痛，交往經歷是一片白紙的Merlin很快被挑逗地神魂顛倒，好不容易掙脫箝制的手指轉而緊箍住Arthur的頸項，暗示這些遠遠不夠，今晚注定無眠，需要更多的水乳交融為公學迎戰前的第一次、可能也是最後一次宣洩無法言明的情潮。他只能摟緊Arthur，絕望般期待他狠狠操他留下印記。「Arthur...Arthur──」從沒為他人綻放的Merlin擺出誘惑歡迎的姿態，平日包裹於黑色西裝制服外套下的肌膚在燭光下呈現動人的奶白色。若是青澀的處女最是誘人，尚未開苞的處男也是如此。「Merlin...」出於本能把Merlin的雙腿疊高，Arthur急於觸碰無人觸及的秘密領域，探索禁地的渴求如旅人渴水般強烈，手下動作又是細緻又是刺激，逼得初嚐禁果的Melrin劇烈扭動呼喚他的名字，半是害羞半是第一次豁出去的義無反顧。深深呼吸了兩下，隨Arthur的安撫按住他肌肉隆起的手臂，體內試探的手指逼出他細小的呻吟。「你臉紅了，Merlin。」「沒關係，我要你繼續...」終於理智潰堤徹底敗給慾望的Arthur把Merlin的下肢壓上肩膀，動作前想抓住什麼般地確認什：「真的要這麼做？要知道跨越眼前的禁忌之後，你就隨我墮落了，永遠烙印愛上同性的標籤，必須對公學的同學躲躲閃閃，出社會後更得提防便衣的警察，無法大聲宣稱自己無罪。一旦我要了你，時光無法反轉，你成為我的共犯，再也回不去過去無憂的美好歲月。」「沒有你，我根本沒有生存的意義，從被收養以來你一直對我最好。你必須相信你曾經說過的：我們的愛是至高無上最崇高的形式，不會因做愛的方式與常人不同而有所改變，沒什麼好擔憂的，我絕不後悔。」「我愛你，Merlin。」組織不出更好的語言代表他對Merlin的感情，Arthur散下滿頭金髮以膜拜的心情低頭吻他。隨著Merlin甜膩的回應緩緩進入他緊緻的體內，彷彿直搗他的核心剖開他的內在。有股歸屬感終於破繭而出，伴隨身體相連的Merlin頂著洞悉一切的藍眸迫切纏住Arthur，沈醉於堂兄激烈的撞擊韻律，在無人的寢室內甜膩地、放肆地叫床，情願把專屬情人間魄刻骨銘心的夜晚刻畫的驚心動魄。放任汗水滑落與滿身吻痕地迎向黎明，白色被單稍事遮蓋渾身赤裸的Merlin，大半條修長的腿以慵懶的姿勢橫臥Arthur身側，活生生如錯飲美酒倒臥人間的酒神。意識迷離前Arthur揉亂手下柔軟的黑色髮絲；朝墮入凡間的精靈喃喃自語：「如果很不幸在這次的鬥爭中落敗了，我不再是人人仰望的特殊階級，不再是菁英中的菁英，你還會愛我嗎？」「會的，Arthur，我會一直愛你。別煩惱了，睡吧。」Merlin親暱安撫懷中金髮凌亂的Arthur，聽到熟睡均勻的呼吸聲，才悄悄吻上凌亂的髮絲低聲耳語：「就算你輸了Barclay也當不上級長，因為我接受Gwaine提供的監督生席次，票數上他贏不了你。」 (待續) 後記：英國社會的階級制度分明從寄宿學校的體制裡能夠窺知一二。看過哈利波特的大概對級長（Prefect）這名詞有印象。由於之前似乎沒有詳細描述，在這裡稍微解釋一下～英國的公學管理大部分交給學生自制，伊頓公學不同等級和不同成就的學生擁有不同的著裝規定，因為之前功課做的不夠充分，我把第三章對Arthur的描述稍微修正了一下，如果有興趣的人可以回頭去看看關於Arthur職位的描述^w^我文中設定Merlin即將當任的「監督生」是督促學生日常、負責管理和處罰不守規定學生的管理職務，一般是品學兼優、擁有特殊表現足以擔任學生表率的人擔任。設定Arthur擔任的級長，則類似伊頓公學裡的宿舍長，宿舍長被學校賦予權力管理住宿生，平日日常可以穿灰色背心。不過在學生管理階層裡有一個最高階最特殊階級，就是學生會成員(POP，或稱為The Eton Society)，這些校園學生中最頂層的人可以任意挑選背心顏色，走在校園任何角落都彰顯身份。文中的Arthur身兼級長，同時也是POP成員。所以Arthur挑選金黃背心作為他的專用色。Arthur在我心中一直是尊貴又講求對等的形象收養以來受到Arthur保護的Merlin，接下來慢慢展現他的價值，成長到足以與Arthur匹配～光聯想這個過程就很期待Merlin的成長。果然成長必須付出相對的代價，不是嗎？這篇同人大概是我寫過同人裡最接近可能不小心悲劇結尾的一篇文(由於時代設定)，不過既然是同人，秉持的精神就是娛樂作者本人，所以結局方面我想讀者不用太過擔心，阿姨我還沒有把主角寫死寫悲劇收場的興趣～請安心閱讀。(這方面我很堅持這點＝◇＝) 下圖為這些可自行挑選有色背心的特殊階級示意圖，取自Film “another country” ，1984，主角為第一張的Colin Firth叔叔，還有一心一意想當上高層但功敗垂成的Rupert Everett叔叔，很精彩的一部電影，想瞭解英國公學間的校內政治推薦去看看 ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- 週日從狩獵小屋回到溫莎城堡的他們又在藍屋房內嬉戲了幾次，就怕回到伊頓後再也沒辦法互相依偎。男孩們越過伯拉圖式的精神之戀把愛慕化為肉欲。以往夢中呼喚他親近的形象如今鮮活躺在臂彎裡，實質的蹭著他的胸膛不含情色意味地依偎到一起。從沒嚐過與愛人結合的Merlin與不曾追逐幽會刺激的Arthur生平頭一次分享彼此的肉體，品嚐靈與慾合一後餘韻不絕的驚嘆。「真希望永遠這樣下去。」躺在藍屋床上的Merlin撫摸眼前隨觸可即的淡金體毛，從沒想過滿足於現世的慾望後帶來的是伊人從軍後無比的空虛，Merlin甚至拒絕去想。「你知道嗎？我從小就幻想當一名飛官。」午後陽光灑在Arthur身上，手指玩弄Merlin不規則生長的鬈髮，柔軟的觸感令他愛不釋手。「這樣我就可以脫離名為Pendragon的牢籠，沒有人對我抱持超越男孩應當承受的期待，不用繼承那棟沒有家庭溫暖的宅邸，還有永無止盡無趣的證券報表。有時候我真羨慕你，想做什麼就做什麼，無拘無束。」「你是認真的嗎？」原本默默聽著的Merlin忍不住發問了，為背負家族期望的Arthur感到憂傷：「所以你才選擇從軍、而不是考慮保送進入牛劍？」(*註：牛津與劍橋）他記得Arthur送他飛機模型時眼中綻放的神采，那時的Arthur是個充滿熱忱擁有夢想的單純少年，而不是表面上呼風喚雨實際上卻承受父母感情不睦與家族期望、必須扼殺自己本性的不快樂王子。「其實我是希望帶你一起去的，至少能近距離看到你。」Arthur親吻了Merlin的嘴唇，很清純的吻，不帶有色情意味的那種，卻熨燙Merlin的心。「但是總覺得你是為了我才放棄自己的專長選擇這條路，我不能這麼自私。」「我以為你真的是怕我們的事情曝光才拒絕我的？」Merlin抬頭看他。「那也是原因之一。畢竟經過昨夜以後，我發現我對你不單純是彼此互相吸引那麼簡單，見到你不僅是談話投機而已，我忍不住想親吻你的嘴唇、想愛撫你的臉龐，聽你述說身邊發生的生活瑣事。」「我也和你有同樣的感覺，自從上愛你的那刻開始，我能夠想像和你一起成為老爺爺的情景。我們可以在Pendragon莊園種各種花，養一隻叫做Aithusa的拉布拉多犬，馬房裡養幾匹馬。每天我陪你去林間打獵，熱了就脫掉上衣下池塘游泳...」Merlin可以輕鬆想像他與Arthur身為一生相伴的朋友度過的每一日，這對一個才十五歲剛談初戀的少年來說非常不可思議。腦中隱約浮現了「伴侶」這個字眼。「聽起來很棒...肯定很愜意...」Arthur似乎想像這副美景，此時沈醉其中。與待在溫莎城堡的Arthur相處過後，放下高貴身段的Arthur和藹可親的驚人。Merlin幾乎想都不用想就能描繪他們朝夕相伴的未來。「所以我不認為你適合當軍人，拿槍桿子殺人不適合我的Merlin。」Arthur接著給Merlin一個吻，這次這個吻很纏綿。「答應我考慮清楚再來找我好嗎？」Arthur說。Merlin輕聲答應，沒料到時隔不久的九月，英國因德國希特勒政府不肯從波蘭撤軍宣布開戰，大西洋戰役左右了他的未來。＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊不忍母親操心的Arthur沒有多言公學內遭遇的困境就帶著Merlin告別了溫莎城堡。隔個三天高年級的Merlin擔負起監督生的職務，不愛受人矚目的他開始在澡堂紀錄每位學生的洗澡次數，確保每個學生擁有基本的整潔。但Arthur得到的最新消息是：審判他私德問題考慮褫奪他榮譽的學生法庭將在三週後舉辦，身為新進成員的Merlin被POP成員摒除在外沒有投票權，他接下監督生的好意算是落空了。三週的時刻一到，伊頓公學彷彿成了煙硝味瀰漫的沙場，經過溫莎城堡內宣示愛情的承諾後，Arthur表現得勇者無懼，應傳喚參與伊頓公學學生會POP組成的自治學生法庭，針對Edmund Barclay指控他行為不檢的醜聞出庭並與他提出的人證加以對峙。出席的Mordred從沒見過這麼多氣勢逼人穿著有色背心的高年級生大陣仗一字排開等待他的證詞，教堂中央走道上的低年級生一時之間說話也不利索了，按照當天他目擊的情形複述了一次，出乎意料沒提到Arthur的親暱對象是Merlin，這對Arthur來說可是天大的好消息。背後指控是一回事，當面對著達靈頓之王指控他又是另一回事。從Arthur身上傳來相愛不是罪過的自信，尊崇自治體制的坦蕩更增添處變不驚的風範，低年級生的妒忌並沒讓他產生厭惡心，反而生出強烈的憐憫和尊重同學智慧的理性。當初年長的他引誘Merlin投入他的懷抱，現在就沒有權力把堂弟抖出來受評審非議。愛的責任與騎士榮譽讓他決定扛下一切汙衊，保護Merlin免於承受言語和退學的侮辱。提醒自己不能提起"愛"這個詞彙，也不能洩漏Merlin的身份，Arthur用朝會朗讀祝禱詞的鎮定說：「Mordred述說他看到的情形，但是我有屬於我的版本。那天我聽到摯友的好消息太替他開心了，或許表現地親暱了一點，蹭了蹭他的額頭與鬢角，這些小動作是我對他推心置腹的表示，任何摯交都這麼做。」何況他認為兩情相悅根本不該說是失德。「除了人證還有事證，你抽屜裡還有一些不尋常的書信，想必是寫給你那位“朋友”的情書。伊頓達靈頓的級長愛上男人是不正常的，應該身為學生們的表率而不是帶頭作亂，所以我提議應該剝奪他級長職務與POP成員的頭銜。」Barclay公開地說。當初沒有投遞給Merlin的書信竟然被找來做證據是Arthur始料未及的，更沒想到他們竟然不顧隱私搜索他的抽屜，還好那時候他不明白Merlin和自己的心意還擔心信件被父親攔截，語氣親切又保守得很，傾慕表現地不很明顯，「只是普通男孩間互相問候的信而已，難道這也是德性有過失的證據?」「除非你對任何男性都會說“我很想念你還有你偷看我又縮回去的神情”，否則這些信件很有問題。」Barclay拿出信紙朗誦其中疑問的句子。「那是...我們之間的遊戲，捉迷藏遊戲。」Arthur想辦法解釋過去在Pendragon宅邸和Merlin兩小無猜玩耍的遊戲規則。祈禱台邊的POP成員開始議論紛紛，決定他命運的十三位POP成員多對Arthur的平日作派信賴有加，對這次指控不少人抱持懷疑或保留的態度，Mordred的指證和Barclay的提議令現場陷入弔詭的氛圍：低年級生不可能有膽量與校內的天之驕子過不去，他說的話大概確有其事不是杜撰的，但是經由書信指控他和朋友是戀愛關係就見仁見智了，幾位POP成員穿越那封書信，有些認為說這是情書實在過於偏頗，有些同意地點頭同意。禱告席東側的Edmund Barclay侃侃而談Arthur必須自動請辭級長以維護伊頓的榮譽。另一頭的Gwaine Spencer起立說罪證不足不構成定罪條件，如果帶有情感的家書可以作為他愛男人的證據，那花邊小報刊登Arthur與Sophia的戀情難道不足以做為他愛女性的證據嗎？剩下的十一位POP成員聽著雙方一問一答若有所思，對答辯方的回答進行個人判斷與自由心證。參與不少學生脫序行為裁決的Gwaine長噓一口氣：學生會成員向來對同學間肢體碰觸甚至撫摸狹玩不過度干涉，之所以站在這裡受人指控源於他身為行為表率不能有半點道德瑕疵，不同於一般低年級生皆被學生會罰以禁足或勞動服務即可解決。但是他掌握幾位POP成員低年級時曾與同性相偎睡一張床抵抗寂寞的過去，知道這種情況下他們能理解Arthur與Merlin間的友誼，相較之下硬抓住Arthur錯處的Barcaly就沒那麼好說話了。長年養尊處優的Arthur因失德風暴處於暴風雨中心，過去參加冗長宗教儀式訓練出的克制成功抑止他莫名的焦慮。禱告席上雙方開始爭論不休，Arthur告訴自己從喧鬧的爭吵區隔開來獨立於辯論之外，教堂彩繪玻璃骨瘦如柴的耶穌聖像像極了Merlin的臉。他的內心突然一片寧靜、凝神等待POP成員的裁決，祈禱別把犯得唯一的錯就是愛上他的Merlin牽扯進來。如果這一生有特殊對象值得他自我犧牲，那一定是Merlin，唯有Merlin。曾以為生命軌跡與他人沒什麼不同的Arthur經過他的召喚徹底被喚醒，只能對著耶穌聖像懺悔：我永遠也不會愛上任何女人。如果同性相愛注定是場災難，就讓家世顯赫又體魄強健的他單獨承受就好。「等等，各位請聽我說！」教堂的門突兀地赫然開了，門外竟然是被刻意支開被Gwaine提名當上監督生不久的Merlin。熟悉他個性的Arthur知道若被他知道審訊時間定是惴惴不安在學院庭院外焦急等候，關心則亂反而啟人疑竇，於是請Lancelot要話劇社把他支開了，現在的Merlin理當為畢業典禮前夕的話劇主角徵選全力以赴，沒理由跑來這裡面對人生最大的危機。「呃...Merlin！」Arthur如吃了一技悶拳，瞪著Merlin闖進審判現場，彷彿聖像上的耶穌為世人的無知贖罪。「我是Merlin Emrys，有人指控我是Arthur Pendragon的對象，但這不全是事實，現在我必須向大家坦承我們之間的關係...」「很好，Emrys，我們洗耳恭聽。」主持會議的主席說。Merlin從頭把隱私抖了出來，從怎麼失去父母被Pendragon家收養、被言語笨拙但心地善良的Arthur接納找到安身立命之處，到得到堂兄的資助追來公學追隨Arthur腳步的事細說了一遍，「Arthur和我之間並不是你們想像的。如果說相互扶持、榮辱與共的愛是違反紀律、是違反社會觀念的，這絕對不正確。我相信公學學生自治的體制有能力判別我們之間的愛秉持的是遠高於兄弟同袍的親情。過去我們對培育國家棟梁的公學不夠有信心，因此沒有公開屬於我們相知相惜的部分，但是現在我有足夠的信心了，希望一切沒有太遲。Arthur除了對我以外，對其他人也公正以對不屑於欺侮弱小，相信大家都看在眼底。他的領袖特質吸引許多人包括我誓死追隨。這樣的品德不會因為莫名的污衊就減損，更不會磨滅低年級生對他的敬愛與崇拜...如果因為我對他過分的崇拜害他受到私德不佳的指控，整件事太不公平了。如果你們真的認為他對我的友善是有罪的，首先應該懲罰我並且奪去我監督生的榮譽才對。」「Merlin！」一旁的Arthur驚異於Merlin口出狂言，更想不到當初害羞缺乏愛的少年如今竟然為了他膽敢挑戰公學的公權力。但轉念一想，或許他就是愛上他這份無畏的特質，腎上腺激素頓時飆升。「既然Emrys你這麼說，那麼當著上帝與POP成員面前，你能發誓你與Arthur Pendragon沒有不正常的關係嗎？」負責主持這次學生法庭的主席咄咄逼人地要他提出保證。「我，Merlin Emrys發誓，我和Arthur之間沒有所謂"不正常的關係"。我們既是親人，同時是朋友、更是最親密的家人，是相互遮風避雨又相互包容忍耐的愛，唯有品德高尚之人才能領略。我不明白為何女孩上街可以手牽手，Arthur只是和我親暱些、碰觸我的額頭就必須受到如此強烈的指控。我相信各位學長的判斷，同袍般堅貞的感情可以說是伊頓立校以來標榜至高無上的榮譽...」或許受到Merlin毫不扭捏做作勇於辯護的勇氣撼動，室內開始低聲交談，就像頭一次初到Pendragon莊園毫不畏懼與Arthur對視吸引到他的欣賞一樣。表達完的Merlin由一開始替對方犧牲的激情生出腦熱後的緊張，很快又昇華為全心全靈的奉獻，從沒想到自己會毫不考慮中斷學生法庭，也沒想過竟然對另一個人擁有如此義無反顧的激情，原來一個人能夠為了「一生相伴的朋友」付出到如此地步。祭壇焦點的Arthur也望著他，再也不在乎地位和名聲了。如果投票結果對他不利，喪失級長職務的榮譽對堂堂貴族而言雖然打擊很大卻不至於致命，校內聲譽和面子掛不住最多傳到Uther耳中讓他暴跳如雷而已。但是如今苦苦維持的名聲已經離他遠去，剩下對Merlin不顧危險前來陪伴他的感動與不計後果的心疼。想到父親可能的震怒，Arthur不禁覺得自己正與Merlin打一場顛覆傳統的硬仗，承襲貴族精神、尊嚴與高超的品行留在他的血脈裡，只是愛上世俗不容的對象。”而Merlin恰巧也有相同的感受，是英國中世紀“騎士精神”傳承下來引發他自動為了Arthur付出他的忠誠、責任、與勇氣，與從小被教育履行責任與義務的Arthur不謀而合，差別只是Pendragon家族嫡子的他被教育成不能任性表達個人的悲愴或受制於人。擁有這樣忠誠、自豪與堅定的伙伴是幸運的，如同底比斯的神聖軍團的搭檔為了誓死捍衛伴侶發揮超人的實力。Arthur發現Merlin或許遠比他想像的強悍：年齡從來不是判斷品德高貴低劣與勇氣高低的依據。主席敲敲桌面宣布安靜，投票結果準備揭曉，Merlin看了Arthur一眼，無論是喜訊還是喪鐘都由他們秉持默契一同承受。主席宣布小型審團的十三位POP成員的投票結果時聲音鏗鏘有力：「關於Arthur Pendragon這次是否因為失德應該引咎辭職，結果是...票數八比五，支持Gwaine論點的勝利。」Merlin無法控制喜極而泣的臉，連帶Arthur也覺得眼角有些發酸。Edmund Barclay當下憤而摔門離去，皮鞋在教堂走道上鏗鏗作響，其他人紛紛擾擾離開席位。獲得公平裁決的的Arthur禮貌性與投反對票的幾位POP成員握手表示尊重，過很久才上前安慰激動的Merlin。等他們收拾好情緒走出教堂，發現失魂落魄的Mordred竟然還坐在門檻邊還沒走。「你一開始沒有提到Merlin，我必須感謝你，但是你還是差點害了信任疼愛你的學長，」Arthur語氣稍微嚴厲地面對差點害慘Merlin的低年級生。過去他們的親暱他看在眼底，那時Mordred沒有什麼殺傷力，但如果他動不動就嫉妒又反嗜其主，就應該與他切割開來。「你以為POP成員懲罰我以後，不會懲罰傳言中我愛慕的對象嗎？請你別再接近Merlin，別再出現在他身邊半步。」「別這樣，Arthur，你嚇到他了。」Merlin一旁打圓場緩和氣氛，但想到他差點擊垮Arthur就心有餘悸，「我對你的作為很失望，Mordred，以後我們不再是朋友了，以後別再喊我的名字。」「你竟然選擇了他。」沒想到Merlin竟然為了Arthur在上帝的見證下說謊，八年級男孩眼眶噙滿淚水，被偶像明顯的選擇打擊得精神萎靡。「我以為是你強迫他，原來不是！你們兩個是共犯，這種行為是神不允許的，死後會下地獄！」被一個八年級生這樣詛咒很不好受，尤其是他們剛從一枚震撼彈中倖存過來，「不勞你操心了，好好修養你的品行吧，否則下次就是對其他學長的妄念也足夠讓你受到制裁了。」Arthur數落完不禁同情起身為同路人的Mordred，他肯定也被名為Merlin的男人沖昏頭了，向來不欺負弱者的他決定放開為情所困的低年級生。反正Merlin願意為他親上火線甚至獻出他的求學生涯，證明他說過的愛的是他的人而不是他顯赫的身份，嫉妒或阻礙已經無關緊要了。經過這次事件提醒他從今往後必須更加克制對Merlin的肢體親近。既然已經得到Merlin的愛，一往情深願意替他效勞任何事；Merlin對他展現的獻身精神和他對Merlin產生的英雄氣概是如此匹配，從今往後不需要奢求更多。當晚Lancelot從飯廳的Gwaine口中得到POP會議決議的好消息很替他們高興，原本Merlin接下了監督生的職務是為了防止Barclay當上級長，如今卻陰錯陽差得到一顆金色鈕扣踏上權力階級，擁有投票權的Merlin日後再也不需要他們操心。哪知道事情不僅於此，順便開啟他日後接替級長身份之康莊大道。回宿舍的路上下著英格蘭常見的細雨，Arthur向Merlin表明既然當上監督生以後不需要再屈就當級長宿舍的"管家"了，所有職務改由Eylan來執行。Merlin脣形美好的嘴唇因發楞而微睜，半晌他反應過來，說「你的決定是正確的，我相信我們之間的愛必然充滿激情又懂得節制，所以我可以忍受的。」雖然他想念Arthur的愛撫，尤其是與Sophia那則誹聞之後想的快發狂了，但剛越過刀尖口的Arthur引領他明白肉體的狂熱無法持久，必須為耐久的感情開闢渠道，想方設法把兩人的關係安排的連綿不絕。雖然年幼如他還是貪圖Arthur的吻，但壓抑自己的樣子在Arthur的眼中心甘情願的可愛。進級長宿舍前他像對每位住宿生般拍了拍Merlin骨感的肩膀，夾帶熱度的指尖流連地比對其他人更久一些，然後深深望了他才獨自上了階梯。如沿著秘密的窄境高高往所知的伊甸園上攀，兩側是萬丈深淵，一路延伸到未知的山巔背後。反正他們已經度過比傳教士或縱慾者都充實的多的幾夜，盡情索取社會暗處的屬於不完美靈魂的甘美。愛把他從目中無人中撈出來，又把Merlin從孤獨中拯救出來。＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊這次騷動還是傳到Pendragon夫婦耳裡，Uther原本是震怒的，打算把兒子罵一頓再把Merlin送到別的寄宿學校去。但Gaius提醒他學生法庭上Merlin挺身而出的行為與擔任監督生獲得的敬重稍微扭轉了Uther的獨斷──加上Igraine對Merlin擁有的良好印象和對Arthur謠言的擔憂，促使他們決心雙雙出席畢業典禮前的學園祭，話劇社最後的表演是莎士比亞四大喜劇之一的《第十二夜》，由Merlin擔綱裡頭的女主角──第十二代Pendragon侯爵決定聽從妻子與老管家的意見一次當作示好，作為夫妻關係破冰的關鍵。這齣喜劇簡直是Merlin眼中的烏托邦，當上監督生的他依然是那個熱愛莎士比亞的Merlin──《第十二夜》暗示一個脫離現實的嘉年華世界，劇中一對失散又長相相似的兄妹Viola和Sebastian各有境遇，Viola女扮男裝假扮成Orsino公爵的男僕，替他向Olivia伯爵小姐求愛反得到女士青睞，Olivia伯爵小姐後來與巧遇又相似的Sebastian結為連理， Orsino公爵也察覺對Viola的愛情，兩人最終結合。初演主角的Merlin拿到Viola的劇本，練習台詞期間不禁聯想Orsino公爵究竟是愛上身為女性的Viola還是女扮男裝為男僕的她。揣摩角色的同時不禁把Orsino公爵幻想成Arthur，而他是化妝成男僕並暗戀他的女主角，為此捲著劇本在被窩裡憨憨地傻笑。他試著帶入一點自己的感受，加上豐富的聯想力協助，很快進入入劇本的角色裡。Arthur不再表現特別需要Merlin的陪伴，但是他們強烈的感情還是成為Igraine與Uther聚在一起的紐帶。性格拘謹的Uther發現夫人對Merlin格外的好感後對他的偏見有軟化的跡象，更答應陪同夫人來觀賞Merlin初次擔負重任的舞台作為觀察兒子增進彼此了解的機會。堂兄弟以退為進的愛情猶如暗流托動一整艘船般拖曳著一切。帶動Merlin家族的位置讓他於Pendragon莊園的尷尬地位隨之更迭起來。伴隨父母與姊姊一同出席學園祭話劇社的Arthur非常醒目，氣魄逼人的Pendragon家族同時現身可不常見，上次可追溯回Arthur初入學協助他入住宿舍的那天。縱使公學多為貴族名門之後也掩蓋不住Pendragon家族顯赫尊貴的出身，幾位學生母親掩不住好奇多看了穿著粉紅色高級套裝、頭戴蘭花點綴禮帽的Igraine幾眼，後者以典雅雍容的儀態低調微笑回應。話劇舞台搭建於公學禮堂正中央，場內是黑壓壓穿著燕尾服制服的公學學生與色彩斑斕爭奇鬥艷的學生家屬。Pendragon家族的位置安排於便於演員家族觀賞的前排。隨著燈光暗下來場內鴉雀無聲，觀眾屏息以待學生們出彩的表演。扮裝成俏麗女子的Merlin帶著恰到好處的妝容與任何人看了為之喜愛的嫣紅粉頰，襯得他宛如油畫走出來古典派的美人，從舞台側緩緩步入聚光燈下，以矜持內斂的姿態述說與兄長失散的悲痛，自然不扭捏的演技獲得群眾低聲的一致好評。第二場場景她轉化為"他"，在Orsino公爵府化妝成西薩里奧的Viola剛來三天就已經成為公爵最寵幸的男僕，男裝的Merlin有一股男兒志在四方的強大存在感，飾演的男僕活潑討喜又不卑微。公爵派Viola再次到Olivia伯爵小姐的家中去求愛，卻不知她已經愛上公爵。台上的Viola或側著頭表達疑惑，或眼角飛揚表達對公爵強烈的傾慕，幾乎成為所有觀眾目光的焦點。"如果是我絕對立刻愛上他"。努力掩飾對台上Orsino公爵嫉妒所產生的輕蔑，Arthur拼命把目光專注於Merlin活靈活現的表演上，換上其他演員出現在舞台上則漫不經心地靠上椅背，眼神追隨什麼似地神遊四方。看膩其他演員青澀演技的Morgana注意到Arthur眼中聚焦的對象，玩味地看向舞台若有所思。待整齣戲劇演完，Igraine迫不及待跟著兒子往後台探視Merlin，處不來的Uther和Morgana父女默不作聲地跟在身後。Igaine一見到微笑羞澀尚未卸妝的Merlin隨即給他來個大大的擁抱，拉著他不斷稱讚舞台情感的充沛表達還有惹人憐愛的俏皮動作。趁著Uther被Igraine拉著與Merlin談天，Morgana湊近嘴角飛揚、眼睛藍得發亮的Arthur耳邊低語：「原來傳言是真的，你真的喜歡Merlin。」Arthur無法抑制被姐姐敏銳直覺發現靈魂深處秘密的震驚，她用的可是肯定句而不是疑問句，毛骨悚然之餘張望四周有沒有第二個Mordred，確定沒人聽見他們的談話才拿出貴族式的言不由衷，「當然喜歡了，他可是我們最親愛的堂弟。」「少來了，Arthur，那種貴族式的虛情假意我們就少說吧。我還不了解你嗎？這種喜歡是哪種喜歡你自己心底清楚。」Morgana篤定地低語，「放心好了，你應該明白我不會說出去的，否則你又要上一次學生法庭了。要不是它列在大學要覽裡最嚴重的犯罪行為，我幾乎要恭喜你終於找到一個伴了。記得嗎？都怪虛偽的階級制度還有該死的道德規範害我必須跟Leon分手，所以我不會拆散你們的...必須說你眼光很好，Merlin真的很可愛，我還擔心你是不是總是欺負他呢。」Arthur不敢置信姐姐竟然接受了他們的關係，但她一向前衛地走在時代尖端，與大學教授Leon的忘年戀就是最好的證明，他謹慎打量她：「看來我們姐弟倆永有共通的祕密了。父親與母親...他們知道這件事嗎？...」聳聳肩的Morgana用胳膊拖著頭，「父親看不出來的，母親可不好說...只能說我們真不愧是姐弟，骨子充滿了反社會的基因，不是吧？」正享受伯母發自內心關愛與溫柔的Merlin哪知道電光火石之間的Pendragon姐弟倆已經完成足以令英國狹隘靈魂震驚的深度交流，第一次成功詮釋主角的激動使他渾身發顫，張大眼睛看著Pendragon夫婦慈愛以他為榮的面貌──大部分是Igraine，Uther只是配合妻子──嘴邊滿是笑意。「親愛的，我訂了一條Drake's全手工製造的領帶作為慶賀Merlin演出成功的賀禮，你介意我帶他去鏡子前試戴一下嗎？」Igraine詢問丈夫的意見，身旁的Merlin則受寵若驚。「當然不介意，你們請。」高大的Uther做了英國紳士的手勢，Igraine便領著Merlin到後台化妝室去了。留下與其他舞台成員和姊姊交談的Arthur半晌後發現自己被變相支開。不禁為母親領著Merlin走開帶點異樣地警覺。後台的Igrine拿出了領帶，以優雅英倫風格為設計基調、融合時髦別緻的法式風格又活潑花俏的領帶簡直獨一無二，與剛下舞台的Merlin鮮明俏皮的氣息相輔相成。摸著絲綢觸感的領帶，Merlin明白這件禮物肯定價格不斐，Arthur的衣櫃裡也有同品牌的領帶，差別是Arthur的是潘德拉貢紅而他的是靛青色，上頭印有威爾斯德魯伊族的金樹銀花紋飾。從來沒有收過如此貴重的禮物，Merlin配戴的同時神情複雜地說：「這太美麗了，我不知道怎麼感謝您才好，夫人。」Igraine溫柔地凝視他，隔一會才輕聲細語地說：「Merlin，有些話我想對你說...」 (待續) 貼張二戰前夕男性的穿著，純粹作者人喜好後記：似乎寫了一篇無論歷史背景還有公學環境都蠻複雜的亞梅同人( ・ิω・ิ)如果小伙伴覺得更新有點慢我可能要說聲抱歉，九月工作上必須上台報告，填坑速度可能沒那麼快，但是自己挖得坑還是會努力填完的。這篇裡頭有些是我自己想寫的情節，譬如說拼死捍衛對方。有些是為了連接想寫的萌點填上的劇情部分，希望不要顯得太突兀^^b也希望讀者能從中得到一點懸疑的樂趣。下一章應該就能寫到亞瑟加入皇家空軍的部分，這大概也是我一直肖想寫的題材至於梅林會不會緊追著亞瑟的腳步追過去呢？這完全要看梅林的心情了XDDD (感覺這同人裡的梅林有自己的腳，擅自叛離作者追著亞瑟去了) ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Igraine的眼中是女人靈敏第六感洞悉一切的通透，莫名的壓迫感朝Merlin襲來、後台化妝室頓時狹窄了起來。天花板低燭光燈泡晃得他亮眼，梳妝鏡使內心的愧疚無隱遁形。聽聞謠言的伯母準備向他攤牌了，Merlin可以想像貴重的領帶是籠絡他不准再接近她兒子的交換，或許她正盤算把他送到遙遠的蘇格蘭從Arthur的生活中剝除掉。夾帶絕望的表情，Merlin只能如十二夜劇中的Viola一般維持對伯爵的愛以對抗眼前地位尊貴的美婦可能造成的劍拔弩張。但是預期的場景並沒有出現，Igraine撫觸學生努力維護的斑駁壁紙和可追溯至亨利六世時期擦拭整潔的橡木置物櫃，維持一貫和藹優雅地開口：「我知道審判法庭的事了，不是每個人都能為了Arthur拋棄監督生的身份仗義執言，確實如Arthur所言，你是個值得深交的朋友。你知道嗎？Arthur總在溫莎喋喋不休你的一舉一動、和你一起生活的日常。久而久之，不僅僅是Arthur，你也滲透進我們母子間的話題。我們夫婦分居後從沒見過Arthur這麼快樂。一開始我還打著疑惑，懷疑你會不會反過來傷害我心愛的兒子──原諒一個母親總是自私地擔憂孩子受傷──但是你不僅沒傷害他還出面保護他，遠遠勝過我們這對不盡職的父母。所以這件禮物聊表我對你的謝意…」伯母真摯的告白稍微減輕了Merlin的危機感。原來她不知道？但是隱瞞事情伴隨而來強烈的罪惡感與乞求原諒的衝動深深折磨著他，既然得到伯母的信賴，能夠向她坦承告真相嗎？獨自承擔太多的少年足夠堅強卻不想再作隱瞞，慈眉善目懷抱母愛的貴婦人讓他看見一絲絲被包容接納的可能性...但是為了保護Arthur還是只能選擇超齡的言不由衷，「這次的騷動真是太大了，幸好學校的POP成員不被蒙蔽做了正確的裁決。Arthur是個真正的領袖，今天就算他不是我的堂兄我也願意為他盡一己之力的，他的人格特質吸引任何人都願意為他赴湯蹈火…」「不，你是特別的，你對Arthur也是特別的，我早該看出來才對。」Igraine搖搖頭，「Arthur變得更和顏悅色、更懂得體貼人了，是你讓Arthur煥然一新。Merlin，你聽我說，什麼都不要問好嗎？安靜聽我說一個故事…」她訴說一位出身名門血統高貴的貴族千金愛上未婚夫婿兄弟的醜聞，違反王室禮法的戀情被謹守道德準則的權威父親知道後非常震怒，礙於家族名譽與頭銜被剝奪的可能最後只好嫁給了未婚夫，愛人也不知所蹤，卻因為心底始終有別人導致婚姻不幸。最後她面露哀戚看著驚魂不定的Merlin，「你應該猜到了，為何一開始我冷落你總是避不見面，見了面又一見如故。我不是故意這麼冷漠，也相信Arthur繼承了我優秀的眼光....」「你和我的父親...你們曾經是一對戀人...」Merlin像是吞下一顆雞蛋完全啞口無言。「那段感情曾經刻骨銘心，但一切早隨著時光凋零掩埋在落葉底下了，至少從這段感情我學到寶貴的一課：永遠別因為自己無法接受輕易抹殺任何一段感情的存在。雖然我不能理解男孩間的感情，只能用袍澤去解釋。但我只想告訴你我不會左右你們的交情。答應我，以後繼續當他的好朋友，代替我們在他身邊照顧他好嗎？」「我可以繼續待在他身邊嗎？可以嗎？」「噓...別哭，雖然我也曾想過拆散你們，但那是會遭遇報應的，而且你是Balinor的孩子...我實在狠不下心傷害你。把你和Arthur分開後，你們會變成什麼樣子我太清楚了──終日鬱鬱寡歡、背負足以壓垮人格的家族責任和徹底的自我厭惡，這個話題我很有心得，不想你們重蹈覆轍...」抽泣的Merlin還來不及回話，門外就傳來Arthur朝走廊這頭走來、口中呼喊母親與Merlin名字的聲音。略顯疲憊的Igraine理了理金色髮髻確定完美，又恢復成雍容儀態的長公主：「答應我，剛剛說的故事是屬於我們之間的秘密，快擦乾你的眼淚。我也會付起我的責任說服Uther對你友善一些，保障你該有的權益。」離去前她來不及等到Merlin點頭、Arthur的前腳隨即踏進來，幾乎撞破兩人的暗流湧動。「Arthur你怎麼還是這麼粗魯？來的正好，快看看Merlin戴這條領帶多好看。」幸好Igrine反應快，連忙把羞澀掩飾內心慌亂的Merlin拉到跟前，Merlin也配合的臉頰笑出一對酒窩，明亮的藍眸泫然欲泣還臉頰泛紅，我見猶憐的模樣擺明被狠狠蹂躪過：怎麼看都像前一晚被折騰整夜、從身側醒來嬌嗔他太粗魯的床伴。盛氣凌人的Arthur一張俊臉瞬間因心中有鬼憋得發紅，要不是父親近在咫尺提醒他保持理智恐怕以為母親對Merlin出手了。雖然知道擅長社交的母親不排斥體格壯碩的男性僕役奉承巴結，但光明磊落的Arthur這回也狐疑瞪著母親手牽纖細身材的Merlin。「該把今晚的主角還給你了，我要回去啦，你父親還等我一起搭車呢。」內心通透的Igraine感受到兒子疑惑的不確定，深諳退場之道放開Merlin朝兒子微微一笑。待Igraine離去後，警惕地Arthur盯著眼眶泛紅的Merlin上下打量一番，擔憂母親是不是真的威嚇他。「Merlin，你還好嗎？母親跟你說了什麼？她是不是威脅你？」把僵硬如石頭的情人扶到一旁紅色的絨布躺椅上坐下、把母親可能調戲自己心上人的懷疑擱置一邊。不知道Arthur顧慮的Merlin考量到伯母的隱私只能欲言又止，一旁浮想聯翩的Arthur也苦思該怎麼略去心中的懷疑，最後Arthur思索了片刻掏出手帕遞給愛人以便擦去流下來的眼淚，手上盤踞式地撫摸Merlin蓬鬆柔軟的黑髮。「她知道了。」Merlin說。「什麼！？」「別擔心，她沒有反對，只是聽了一段坎坷的遭遇，可憐到我都哭了，得到她諒解真是讓我發現我是個幸福的傻瓜...」眼眶含淚的Merlin磨蹭Arthur關懷的手，見Arthur安安靜靜思考著不說話只是撫摸他的頭髮、心底逐漸泛起甜意，好不容易控制住的情緒也轉為筆直瞪著Arthur無法移開視線，高傲笨拙的溫柔早霸佔他的心了。Arthur也知覺到了，轉過來迎向Merlin看了一會，露出苦笑。「Morgana也猜到了，看來Pendragon家族的女人都擁有當偵探的天賦。」他聳聳肩的同時，也帶點釋然後的解脫。「你可以想像她們的支持對我們意義重大，我們不再孤立無援，也不用再藏著掖著擔憂觸法，只要保持安分不捨事生非，我可以一直跟你在一起。」「上帝呀...這是我夢寐以求的。」「她們的慷慨和寬宏大量真是巾幗不讓鬚眉，我終於敢向你說一直擺在心底不敢說的話，」羞怯的Merlin低聲朝Arthur說了一句話。從Arthur劇烈的反應看的出他聽到了。他說的是我愛你，待在我身邊、永遠也別離開。過去這種接近投懷送抱的禁語簡直讓人噤若寒蟬，甚至誤以為這是足以遭遇噩耗的詛咒，但是被親人認可恍若撥雲見日，他們是如此雀躍，世俗的不容逐漸離他們遠去、不再是壓垮駱駝的最後一根稻草。終於可以在有限的時空裡讚頌他們的愛情，與願意包容他的愛人彼此耳鬢廝磨。於是他與Arthur緊緊靠在一起，沉浸無聲勝有聲、一波更勝一波的愛情漣漪中。這段秘而不宣的感情持續到Arthur的畢業典禮。當學校管弦樂隊演奏英國國歌作為結束，師生全體起立為自己鼓掌。Merlin凝視致詞完回到座位的Arthur還有庇蔭他們悖德愛情的伊頓公學，陽光透過教堂彩繪玻璃灑落五顏六色，站在祭壇中心接受畢業證書的Arthur帶有少年鋒芒畢露的意氣風發、走下祭壇加入手持畢業證書的Lancelot和Gwaine的畢業生陣容，人生迎向另外一個嶄新的階段。被留下來的Merlin惆悵外慶幸身邊還有Eylan，趁著唱誦祝禱詞、目光移開樂譜最後一次筆直往Arthur看去，正巧他隔著人牆回望過來，堅定下隱藏難以割捨的癡情。Merlin幾乎立刻確定他們彼此的羈絆將持續下去，空軍基地與公學間的地理距離不是令人懼怕的鴻溝，只要他有足夠的信心確定Arthur絕對不放開他們彼此的手。＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊進入肯特郡皇家空軍服役屆滿兩年的Arthur維持每週給Merlin寫信，書信多為描寫受訓執勤的趣事、省略分開後刻骨的相思，目光遠大的Arthur男子氣概地隱瞞咬牙磨練的艱辛毫不抱怨，也從不左右Merlin對未來出路的決定。在他看來Merlin差點為他斷送公學生涯一次足夠了，不需要再耽誤任何對他生涯更合適的選擇。忙於學生事務的Merlin更多時間被公學職務與滿滿社團行程佔據，但總是努力抽空回信，外柔內剛的他回報Arthur的方式同樣報喜不報憂──身為貴族卻不驕衿的善良和溫和外貌不符的道德勇氣讓他受舉薦成為達靈頓新一任的級長，從來不爭名奪利的他對這項結果也相當意外。一個家族出現兩名級長可不多見，闔上信紙的瞬間幾乎可以想像Arthur的引以為傲和興奮肘擊他胸膛的小動作。晚禱朗誦拉丁文頌詞、晨點名晚點名從來不是新任級長重視的重點，在Merlin看來封建的學院風氣急需改變，長時間持續、對個人心理、身體和言語的霸凌不該視為"傳統"，唯有像他一般沒有包袱的級長能加以整頓，於是他拿出不同凡響的魄力整治了學長對學弟奴役的現象，更任用曾經與他有嫌隙的Mordred擔任整項風氣運動的執行人，表達出他不計前嫌的美好特質，破釜沈舟的行動獲得全校師生們對Pendragon家族養子正面大於反面的評價。經過一年的努力，學院風氣的有了顯著的改變，成為新一代革新者的Merlin毫不居功、也從沒想過革新失敗的後果，從他挑選的背心可以看出有別其他貴族兼容並蓄的特質──素面靛青背心是低調善良的性格，紋有德魯伊圖騰的背心底端綴有Pendragon家族的獅子家徽──表達不忘母系威爾斯的本源與父系的輝煌，暗藏對下屆Pendragon伯爵Arthur的私心──當然把對Arthur的忠誠穿在身上是屬於他的小秘密。至於Arthur的金色背心則被他從塵封的大宅衣櫃間收進衣櫥小心珍藏、作為精神支柱般的幸運物。日後公學談到達靈頓歷代的級長學生們總津津樂道Pendragon堂兄弟是最璀璨一枚硬幣的兩面，前任是具有領袖魅力如陽光般引領他人的Arthur、後任是個性皎潔如月光卻大刀闊斧的Merlin，成就達靈頓各項學院競賽的輝煌。隨著Arthur的從軍，達靈頓大放異彩的神話是否隨著繼任級長延續一直不被看好，但是運動競技場外的設計競賽上，不以體能見長的他以靈巧的技術、鉅細靡遺的製作創造出概念性的作品；修長的手指化腐朽為神奇、雕鑿出空軍飛行小隊模型配上微型電動微型軌道擺在展場展示，優秀的電工技能和迷你的航空機地模型引來參賽評審的經驗。於是Pendragon家族神話綿延不斷，連最自負的公學學生也敬佩他的手藝。喜愛獨處的Merlin唯有對毫不偏袒公正處理宿舍爭端有些生疏，但在幾宗個案的經驗下逐漸取得公平的仲裁結果：深夜與另一位Pendragon的通信起到耳濡目染的作用，新任的級長試著揣摩仿效Arthur這方面的天賦來解決宿舍各式各樣的爭端，行事風格殘存Arthur的影子，卻更有人情味、更加寬容。如果說重視傳統承襲皇室風格的Arthur被稱為達靈頓之王，那改革守舊風氣引進近潮流思維的Merlin可說是達靈頓的新偶像了。社團結束的Merlin好不容易秉退纏住他喝茶的同學找了一處無人僻靜的窗邊展信，把Arthur的家書一讀再讀──信裡提到他第一學期成績名列榜首後，今年以優異成績畢業的他被派往第八十中隊任戰鬥機飛行員。二十歲的Arthur身為第八十中隊的菜鳥，嚴格的體能要求與難以克服的G力一開始給予他致命的打擊，教練後座的他努力把早餐強行咽回胃裡、咬牙苦撐熬過被扔回去開運輸機的命運。期盼通過作戰訓練和戰略模擬被軍方當成精銳部隊的一份子優厚以待。飛官的養成十足不易，與陸軍裝甲部隊或砲兵連兄弟比起來，空軍吃的和住的永遠是最好的。空軍基地附近更有軍官專屬的Club允許他們休假前往藏著美酒的酒窖餐廳享受生活。尚未成為正式飛行員的Arthur聲稱教官目前還不允許年輕學員單獨飛行，儘管擁有良好體魄和動視力的他進步神速。眼前似乎出現自傲的Arthur為了實現飛行員夢想神情專注的百分之百投入──既然要作，自然要成為頂尖中的王牌飛行員。等到他擺脫為期兩年模擬機的訓練真正駕駛最新型的噴火式戰鬥機開上天空，他的外祖父會引以為傲的，Merlin手上的倫敦週報有一篇身為皇族後裔的Arthur為國服役的報導，整個全篇幅報導充滿對王室年輕成員發自內心的讚賞。記者透過與軍方交涉拍攝到紀律嚴明的基地內國王外孫佇立機艙旁沉思的黑白照，貴族出身的Arthur打扮的無懈可擊，金髮碧眼的他身穿空軍制服：雙排扣西裝外套、乾淨俐落的白襯衫、閃亮亮的金鈕扣和熨得直挺挺的灰長褲，看起來既幹練又俐落。媒體一致稱讚這位貴族靠實力贏得尊敬、低調不外露的執勤喚醒大眾的好感，對長公主之子的好奇心更讓每篇與Arthur相關的報導成為報紙銷售量的保證，吸引報攤從早馬不停蹄賣出這些具有Arthur篇幅的報紙，不時聽到週遭上班族喟嘆地稱讚。面對這張投身軍旅的活廣告，足足有六個月沒見過一生相伴”摯友”的Merlin相思泛濫成災、一個念頭逐漸成形。他原本沒考慮從軍，父親曾經打過索姆河戰役，還是個英雄，卻戰死了。但是Arthur不介意當兵，Merlin想證明他和他一樣英勇，想和他待在同一個軍營裡，最重要的是：他無時無刻不斷思念Arthur。歐陸上德國和義大利繼續迫使捷克斯洛伐克割讓更多領土，使得鄰近如匈牙利和波蘭開始備受威脅，但是緊繃的情勢不影響Merlin的決心，反而腦中不斷盤旋答應伯母照顧Arthur的誓言：如今他屆滿十八歲了，足以決定是否以Arthur摯友的身分前往基地與他會合、為緊張的局勢做出一點貢獻。他開始懷念起Arthur過往經過圖書館刻意掉了鋼筆到他腳邊、彎下身撿拾的小把戲，手指不經意擦過腳踝的調情總引起Merlin渾身難以抑制的顫慄，提醒他需要再度感受Arthur來證明自己還活著。他相信Arthur一直在等他，只是口中沒有明說。每當Merlin戲謔在信中寫到「公學生活被一群毫不節制的吵鬧低年級生佔據，快救救我」，Arthur總會提到軍人是多麼冷靜自制，還說「你絕對會喜歡的」。久而久之Merlin再也沒錯過任何一篇與Arthur服役相關的報導，看出他試著洗腦Merlin加入空軍的端倪，而不是期盼他去Liberty百貨當時尚的設計裁縫師。＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊成為正式飛行員的Arthur後半段訓練除了接觸基礎戰術隊型的操作外，每週與Merlin的通信與即將來臨的畢業典禮堪稱他強度訓練後最大的精神寄託，很久沒見到Merlin的他離鄉背井待在空軍基地最大的企盼莫過於夏初見上Merlin一面。見面在即的前一天卻臨時被上級委派參與歐陸機密的偵察任務、注定錯過Merlin的畢業典禮，沿路飛行途中只能耿耿於懷瞪著油箱碼表、最好指派的拍攝任務讓他不虛此行，否則實在對不起錯過Merlin重大時刻的自己。當天心高氣傲的他駕駛偵查機飛越英吉利海峽、怎麼也沒想到飛越奧地利領空時正後方竟然傳來機關槍的聲音。啪嗒嗒！他向後一看居然是納粹陣營的梅塞施密特戰鬥機緊跟在機尾、趁著他遭到鎖定又是一陣掃射，遭受攻擊的Arthur連忙往英吉利海峽方向駛去，憑藉鋌而走險的飛行擺脫海面上的追擊。對Arthur來說真是首度出任務的震撼教育、幸運與死神交身而過毫髮無傷…最後Arthur搖搖欲墜地飛回基地，爬出機艙扯掉頭盔、望著偵察機上怵目驚心還在冒煙的彈孔發呆，過一會慶幸撿回一條命的Arthur從同窗好友如今也加入空軍服役的Lancelot Du Lac那邊拿到Merlin轉交給他的信，代替Arthur參與出席畢業典禮的他見到好友經過一番死神搏鬥也很訝異，他拍拍Arthur僵硬的肩膀慶幸好友毫髮無傷，刻意忽略戰鬥完始終保持堅強的Arthur拿過Merlin家書的手生理性地顫抖。向長官報告完被攻擊境遇的Arthur終於有時間靜下心讀信，信中的Merlin外柔內剛又善良體貼，他反過來安慰無法出席的Arthur，更在信封裡夾帶一張Pendragon一家三口與Merlin站在伊頓公學門口的珍貴照片安撫Arthur，每位至親皆懷抱男孩蛻變為男人的喜悅，尤其是Merlin，精緻的五官更是長開了一點，逐漸展現成年男子刀削般堅毅的輪廓，看起來英俊又惹人憐愛。感受Arthur職業危險性、篤信Lancelot冒死將信件送交Arthur手中，首次Merlin放下矜持寫了一封蘊藏熱辣字眼的信件，信中是畢生最濃烈的情話：致我此生的摯愛：一直沒有向你坦承畢業後的出路真是抱歉，該服從哪個使命的召喚幾乎讓我的心撕扯成兩半，請相信天狼星將指引我做出正確的決定。愛你的M 向來自傲從不示弱的Arthur久違地眼眶濕潤了起來、用嘴唇反覆膜拜手下Merlin的筆記。待情緒風暴過去才重拾理智，依依不捨沒把這封足以上軍事法庭、情深意重的情書扔進壁爐裡燒掉。日後他的同袍紛紛猜測年輕皇族的心上人叫作Margaret，從來沒得到國王外孫本人的承認或否認，只說此人是他一生不肯錯過的摯愛。一個月後擁有實戰經驗、全副心神投入戰鬥機飛行員特訓的Arthur成為中隊的主力飛行員、並晉升為士官長，其中一項職責是帶領每年入伍的新兵熟悉分配任務、執行軍官戰略的落實。當一身軍裝無懈可擊的Arthur聯合兩位下士現身軍營立刻引發一陣騷動，前來服役的男孩一行大約有四十人，大多是喧嘩粗俗、鄉野出身的大塊頭男孩，見到渾身上下散發威權氣派的Arthur一言不發瞪著他們，原本散亂無序的男孩們自動列隊排成長方形、十個人一縱列、四個人一橫排靜候Arthur下達指示。點點頭的Arthur朝小伙子掃視過去，大部分沒見過世面的小伙子是滿臉憂懼和面對未知事物的徬徨不安，唯有最後一排有個人直視過來、目光蘊藏滿溢而出的慾望──甚至可稱之為愛慕。Arthur頓時瞪大眼睛回視回去──絕不會錯認的優美顴骨與觸感柔軟的黑色綣髮，還有隱匿眉梢深如掘井的眷戀...竟然是夢裡魂牽夢縈的Merlin！灰藍色的眼珠配上纖長的睫毛，他怎麼會在這裡？朝思暮想的情人竟然選擇以這樣驚喜的方式與他重逢，微怔Arthur差點在新兵前面失態，但他緩緩深呼吸幾下忍住全身的激動和整個人的欣喜若狂，直想上前給貿然現身的Merlin一拳、再給他一個深深的擁抱。黑色短髮讓他看起來更年輕了，包覆在軍服下的肌肉看起來柔韌有彈性，臉龐脫去男孩的稚氣，變得更成熟更引人心動。Merlin直勾勾看向渾身戎裝五官硬朗的Arthur，嘴角是別人不仔細看不易查覺的上揚嘴角，蘊含羞怯的挑逗和無盡的喜悅，距離五公尺的兩人瞬間旁若無人做了心領神會的私密交流。幸好最終訓練有素幫Arthur把聲音找回來、他清了清喉嚨，「我是Arthur Pendragon中士，未來的幾個月將在基地把你們訓練成符合皇家空軍要求的軍人，如果有人心存僥倖，請做好捲鋪蓋走路的準備。我們只接受有毅力和力量的人留下來，經過半年的鍛鍊，有些人將遭遇淘汰，晉級的將根據能力分配為運輸機、偵察機與攔截機駕駛，唯有最優秀的人才能晉升為戰鬥機飛行員，英國皇家空軍裝備精良、飛行員訓練有素，希望最終你們能成為足以勝任任務的其中一員。」之後四十人被分成兩組，一組二十人住進十張床沿牆排列的大房間，等新兵一個個找到合適的位置的Arthur越過鬧哄哄的人群盯著選擇走道盡頭窗邊床位的Merlin，至少他不需要忍受兩旁士兵睡眠中的動靜了，現在Arthur腦海中盤算的是該用什麼理由把他叫到士官長的雙人房談心，該死的軍中就是沒有隱私可言，他需要一個僻靜的環境跟Merlin獨處好撫慰久違的相思之情。但可惜兩人遲遲沒有私下獨處的機會，只能從例行性體能訓練與打靶測驗中電光火石的對視感知彼此的存在，對話也僅止於士官長與新兵間的閒話家常無法進一步深交，更不用說談情說愛了。這種看得到摸不著的窘境兩個月下來燒灼Arthur的理智，對Merlin也極度煎熬，因此在剛成為空軍基地一員、擁有一雙巧手的Merlin被小組分配到地勤組學習維持飛機油料、零件維修的例行工作時，Arthur終於抓準勤學的他落單的時機等在運輸機艙門外。為每架隔天一早出勤的飛機進行起飛前的檢修被Merlin視為神聖的任務，儀表板的基礎入門並不容易，每日下午目送Arthur訓練完他們再走向駕駛員座艙加入空軍中隊的實戰訓練是Merlin最期待的時刻，他的纖細體格不是天生當飛行員的料，如果能親手整備Arthur的戰鬥機已經是想像中最完美的情況了。當他終於結束一下午高強度的整備工作、心神鬆懈步出艙門外準備回寢室喝杯熱氣騰騰的阿薩姆紅茶，就被一雙強而有力的胳膊撅住扔進艙門內。巨大的艙門隨即被緊密關上、隔絕午後慵懶的日光，黑漆漆的空間內首先傳來的是Arthur低語呢喃他的名字、接著夾雜好聞體香的身體壓了上來。很快地他忘記掙扎──或許他根本不想掙扎，沈溺在士官長溫柔的愛撫中無法自拔。（待續） ============= 後記：第一次寫二戰的背景實在有些忐忑，但是亞梅無論什麼時空都很適合所以寫到最後空軍的部分真是樂在其中～由於九月是工作的旺季，沒想到這麼久才擠了這一點內容出來(拭淚)還好看到這章成品，作者我也頗有成就感的。記錄一下筆下設定的時間軸：1933年，亞瑟16歲、梅林13歲，初遇。1935年，亞瑟18歲，梅林15歲，亞瑟加入英國皇家空軍1938年，亞瑟21歲，梅林18歲，梅林隨之加入。1939年9月1日德國和其附屬國斯洛伐克進攻波蘭。9月3日法國、英國和大英國協成員國紛紛正式向德國宣戰。
11286234	Your smile is not as	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Niall Horan, Harry Styles", "Fandom": "One Direction (Band)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by catrinahart", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-24T00:00:00", "words": "3,152", "Additional Tags": "Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Drabble", "Relationship": "Niall Horan/Harry Styles", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": "Fifty drabbles about Niall and Harry", "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	The first time that Harry walks into the little Irish pub, he knows he’s infatuated. Not with the pub although it is a close second- no, he’s infatuated with the bartender. The second the door closes softly behind, he can see that this is going to be like a second home to him. The dark woods are worn, but clean and the décor is decidedly Irish. The bar itself is massive and he can see a large selection of draft beers and assorted liquor, but it’s the man behind the bar that really pulls his attention. He looks away trying not to stare. It’s then that he hears the music… it’s a rocky folk song that’s playing but the part he loves is it’s not so loud that it would interrupt conversation. And once he really listens, he recognized the music as something that he has definitely sung along to in the past. He once again pulls his eyes away from the bartender looking for the source of the music, but it’s just a jukebox on the other side of the bar. There’s a stage, a small hallway for the toilets and what he guesses is the back door and a bunch of booths along the brick wall that houses the main door. And even though he tries he can’t really keep his eyes off of the bartender. He’s chatting with someone at the bar, a young man dressed in camo pants with brown hair and a wide smile. But they are both smiling as the man seated at the bar shows the object of his instance infatuation a picture on his phone. They look like friends. There’s not a lot of people in the bar- most of them scattered around the bar watching one of the massive televisions that are hanging on the wall. Harry’s not always good with other people but he decides that he likes this place so he’s going to take a risk. He takes a seat beside the other guy, calmly noting that he’s showing the bartender a picture of a baby boy. That would definitely explain the smile. “Congrats.” Harry says, hoping to break the ice. He’s never been great at making friends, always a little shy and a little awkward but if this area is going to be his home; he’s going to have to get over that. He’s only just moved to the area and that always makes things a little weird- being the outsider. But for the sake of his sanity he needed out of his partially unboxed cookie-cutter house and a little human interaction with someone who wasn’t his mom or sister. Harry instantly has the bartender’s attention and he’s hit with a mega-watt smile and all he can think of is pure summer sunshine. Warmth races through his body from his head to his toes and he smiles back, a real smile, not that fake one he’s been around more often than not lately. “Well hello mate! You’re a new face,” It’s not said to be offensive and honestly it’s really welcoming, “I’m Niall, what can I get for you?” He reaches his hand across the bar and Harry takes it gratefully already feeling better about intruding on what could have been a private conversation. Niall has bright blue eyes and dark brunette hair, but the ends are bleached blond and Harry can’t help but wonder if that was on purpose or if he’s growing it out. The dark glasses framing his eyes just highlight the color even more and he has a bit of scruff and Harry would really like to feel under his lips. This Niall has a stunning face and he can’t stop staring at it. “Hi, I’m Harry.” He drawls out slow, keeping a grip on Niall’s hand as he shakes it. His hands are strong, long blunt fingers, with clean neat nails. He can’t help but appreciate his hands, they’re beautiful. “Well, Harry, this is Liam and he’s here telling me all about his new baby boy.” He motions over with the hand that Harry had just released and he tears his attention away from Niall- his name is Niall and its perfect – and looks over to the other man. The other man flips his phone showing him the picture of the very small, indeed very beautiful newborn baby boy. “Congrats again,” Harry says and then he reaches out to shake Liam’s hand but instead the other man pulls him into a half bro hug and Harry hugs back, laughing. He gets it he really does. Babies are awesome and exciting and he loves them too. “So you never said Harry, what can I get for ya?” He looks back to Niall. He’s wiping down something behind the bar and Harry can’t stop looking at the muscles in his forearms as they move and he’s slightly hypnotized. Niall’s fit…really fit. Not so much as in a work-out-every-day fit, but just a natural-born-beauty fit. “Uhm,” That’s a good question. He really doesn’t drink much and he doesn’t really have a drink of choice and he really wants to impress Niall, so ordering a glass of wine at an Irish pub really isn’t that way to do that, “I really don’t know, I just needed to get out of my house, ya know? All those boxes…” Harry drifts off and for some reason it just makes Niall’s smile a little brighter. Liam gets up from his stool, laying down a few notes and waves bye obviously heading back to his house where his new family waits. Niall waves back at him but stays focused on Harry. “So a water? Soda? Beer?” Niall asks, “Or something light, gin and tonic? Or a Manhattan? Vodka Cranberry? Food?” “Sure.” Harry smiles, because really they all sound like something that could be interesting. “Which one?” Niall asks on a laugh and if his smile wasn’t amazing enough his laugh just made Harry smile all the more, his dimples making an appearance as he pushes his hair back from his face, still not used to his much shorter locks. “The middle one.” Harry guesses. “The gin and tonic?” Niall questions, but he’s already grabbing what he needs and it’s like art watching Niall work behind the bar, smooth and confident. “So Harry, tell me all about you.” Niall prompts as he sets the drink in front of Harry with a bowl of pretzels. After that it becomes a weekly tradition, the first night he ever showed up at the bar was a Thursday, but Niall told him that next Saturday was going to be live music, so he waits and goest on Saturday instead and the music is great but he doesn’t really get a chance to talk to Niall as much as he wants to. The bar was far too crowded and the music was loud. So the next couple weeks he sticks with Thursdays and soon it just feels like their day. Harry loves it and it ends up being the highlight of his week. The conversation is never rushed, never forced. He find a close friend in Liam as well, he is a firefighter and he works crazy rotations- so he isn’t as regular as Harry but he’s still there often enough. It’s amazing how he and Niall click, it really only takes a handful of conversations before Harry feels like Niall knows him- really knows him. He feels the same way about Niall, can recognize the different emotions on his face and the different tones of his voice, and how the colors of his eyes change based on his mood. He knows that Niall’s favorite band is the Eagles, that he loves Fleetwood Mac, and can’t eat spicy food for fear of his acid reflux, that his parents are divorced but he’s still insanely close with them- his older brother not so much. It seems like more and more they learn about each other the more that Harry is drawn into him. But he hasn’t quite worked up the courage to ask him out yet… can’t quite get over that fear of rejection. And then Louis shows up… fresh out of school and no girlfriend, because that’s over now and he needs all of Harry’s attention and that’s fine because - well that’s what friends do. You help your friends get over heartbreak- you tell them they won’t be alone forever, that there are other fish in the sea, and so on and so forth…But after two weeks of not making it to the pub, he misses Niall and his smile, so he makes a decision. “C’mon Lou we’re going out!” he drags his best mate off the couch makes him shower and put clothes that don’t smell on and pulls him along to the pub. Harry doesn’t try to explain the relief that he feels when he finally pulls open that heavy wooden door. When Niall looks up from the bar, he smiles and Harry instantly feels weight shift off his shoulders lifted up by the pure power of Niall’s smile. It’s the weapon of angels, a sign god does exist, Harry is sure that if it could be bottled it could cure the common cold and end wars. “Harry!” He’s already preparing his drink, setting it down in front of him before Louis is sliding into the stool next to him, laying an arm over Harry’s shoulders and leaning into him. “Lou this is Niall, Niall this is Louis.” Louis extends out his other hand and Niall shakes his hand but Harry can’t help but notice that this smile is not quite as wide as a second before but he shakes if off, because Niall seems much busier tonight that normal and sure it isn’t Thursday but why would a Tuesday be busier? And he doesn’t get to talk to him as much as he wanted most of that due to the other couple at the end of the bar that keeps talking to him. Harry recognizes the feeling of jealousy, but ignores it because Niall does get to them. Louis’s beers stay full and he switches Harry to water after his first two just like normal. He walks away that night feeling a little lonely, but Louis has his arm wrapped through his as they walk out the bar. “So Niall?” Louis asks. “Shut up.” Harry tells him, but he’s blushing. Now that Louis knows the routine, knows Niall, and he has figured out that Harry fancies Niall he ends up at the pub even more. Over the next two weeks they end up at the pub five times. But Harry just can’t help but notice that Niall’s smile isn’t quite the same as it used to be and well- that’s just not okay. Harry can’t help but think that Niall’s happiness should be everyone’s number one priority. “Ni, what’s going on?” Harry asks when he finally has all of Niall’s attention. It’s a Thursday again- their night- and Louis has gone to the loo and the bar is in quiet lull. It’s been so long since he’s had Niall’s blue eyes focused only on him and its sends a thrill down his spine. “Nothing, Haz, not a thing.” He uses one of those beautiful hands of his to wave around the bar that is pretty empty, but it is 8:00 and it will pick up as it gets a little later. “Not what I mean… What’s goin’ on with you? Are you okay?” Harry asks because this just isn’t right, Niall’s smile should always shine. “I’m good.” Niall tells him, but his eyes don’t sparkle and Harry doesn’t like it. “But your smile is not as bright as it used to be.” He throws that out there because it is true and he doesn’t really know how else to explain it. But Niall’s eyes grow soft and fond and he puts a hand over one of Harry’s that he has by his empty glass. “That is nothing for you to worry yourself over.” Harry flips his hand over and grabs onto Niall’s wrist not letting him pull away. Niall’s hands are nice, wide- long graceful fingers that squeeze quick around Harry’s wrist. “But I do…” He’s cut off when Louis drops a hand on his thigh as he plops back into his seat next to Harry. Niall pulls his hand away with a quick tug and Harry drastically feels the loss of his warmth. “Another pint, Tommo?” Niall asks, grabbing that rag that’s always in his back pocket and wiping absolutely nothing off the top of the bar. “No, think it’s time for us to head home. H?” Harry looks up at the clock and sure it’s not that late, not really but it feels strange and now Niall won’t even look at him. “Sure.” And when Louis drags him out of the bar, yes it’s for his own good but he doesn’t care, he can’t help but look over his shoulders and Niall is watching them go, sends them off with a jaunty wave. He waves back and smiles but it’s still not quite right. Finally, finally, Louis meets Eleanor. Granted Harry has known her for years, thought about introducing them before, but he never thought it would work out this well. She has a way of making Louis light up like he has not seen in years. Normally he doesn’t go to the pub on Saturdays, but Louis and Eleanor love live music, so they go and the place is busy, Niall actually has someone else behind the bar, a large mountain of a man that booms when he laughs, but still- he is nothing compared to Niall who radiates warmth and sunshine and still even now, weeks later makes his stomach twist in anticipation. “Niall,” He yells waving his hand above the crowd as he makes his way to the bar, Lou and El behind him. Both men turn his way, but the larger man moves on to other customers as Niall makes his way towards him. “Hi.” Harry smiles because the bar is busy but their seats aren’t taken, most people gravitating to the tables and booths near the stage, so he grabs his normal seat as El and Lou make it through the crowd that is gathering for the live set about to start. “Niall this is Eleanor, Lou’s new girlfriend.” And she extends her slender hand out to shake, but Niall is still looking at him and he looks confused. He quickly snaps out of it grabbing her hand gently, lifting it and pressing a kiss onto her hand. “I’m absolutely charmed to meet you… You m’dear, must be an absolute saint to put up with these two.” Niall laughs and Harry can’t help but sit up straight because that that sounded normal… that sounded right. “I hear the same about you Niall, these two coming to bother you all the time.” She smiles as she looks over at Louis who now has a pint in front of him and his arm slung low across her waist. They look happy and having his friends happy makes Harry happy. “Oh, I deal,” Niall tells her, looking back at Harry and when he smiles its bright, warming Harry down to the very tips of his toes…and oh…oh… They are both apparently idiots. “What can I get you, Miss Eleanor?” She rattles off a drink and Niall walks away to make it and things start making a little more sense now. He’s putting the puzzle pieces together and the last month or so starts to make a lot more sense and well now he can do what he wanted to do from the start. Harry watches as Niall turns away, grabbing the liquor needed and his arse looks really great in those jeans and his legs… wow-they are so slender- how does he even hold himself up? They look so skinny, but they lead up to that- yeah… that arse is art. Then his shoulders… they are wow and those arms so trim and just defined; he could watch him work for days and then his hands… his hands just…he’s just so confident so efficient and he’s so dexterous… God the things those hands could do to Harry. Now he feels a lot more confident about asking for it. Niall returns placing a drink with fruit garnish in front of El but Harry really doesn’t care what his friends are doing because he gets it. “Niall,” Those blue eyes lock on him and give him a small smile, its small but it looks right, looks great actually. “Yeah, Hazza?” He steps as close as the bar will let him and he puts his elbow down to rest on the bar so that he can put his chin in his palm and now he and Harry are eye to eye. “Can I get you a drink?” Harry asks and Niall’s eyes go wide and a bit confused, because well duh… “But not here, somewhere else, some other time, preferably with a meal before and something after, I don’t know yet, I’m really just making this up as I go.” And he just rolls with that because he’s been told that’s part of his charm. Niall’s laugh shakes something loose inside of him; he’s relaxed and anxious at the same time. And of course he’s listening to Niall he is…but Niall has barely mumbled out I’d love that, before Harry grabs his shirt and pulls him close, over the bar, and presses his lips against Niall’s and it feels amazing and he feels warm all the way down to his toes that just happen to be curling in his beat up suede boots. “About fuckin’ time, lads. You were killing me with all the pinin’.” Louis puts down his half empty pint and Eleanor’s laugh is musical before it gets swallowed by the noise in the pub. “Lou, forgot you were here, go away.” Harry tells him, pulling Niall in for another kiss and when they pull apart, they’re both smiling and Niall only pulls away completely when the other guy yells for him. But before he turns around to help out- he hands Harry his phone. “Program your number in, let’s schedule that…date?” Niall asks and Harry nods probably much too quickly and a little bit enthusiastically if Louis and Eleanor’s laughs are anything to go by but he doesn’t care. “How about tonight? When are you done?” Niall laughs at his eagerness but grabs Harry’s phone when he hands it over programming his info in quick before his co-worker yells for him again. “How about tomorrow and then you can have me all night?” Harry’s gaze snaps up and he catch Niall’s pale complexion turning a ruddy shade of red. He loves it. “Sounds perfect.”
11242176	Reply	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": "Gen", "Characters": null, "Fandom": "방탄소년단 \| Bangtan Boys \| BTS", "Language": "English", "Rating": "General Audiences", "author": "by orphan_account", "chapters": "1/?", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-19T00:00:00", "words": "719", "Additional Tags": "Weird Afterlife AU, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, It's not that religious, Near Death Experiences, Other Additional Tags to Be Added", "Relationship": null, "Character": "Jeon Jungkook", "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	“Let me just take him, you know who he is,”“You think He would appreciate it if you made a mistake? I’m not going to let the guy burn because you were hasty!” “I’m not being hasty; all I’m saying is that men the likes of these end up down there. Now if you excuse me--” “You know I cannot let you do that,”“I hate all of your bunch, you know that?”“Yes. Now there’s nothing a good review won’t fix. We’ll have a verdict by tomorrow.”“Fine you win. Tomorrow, throw a light down there when you realize he belongs in Hell.” ~~~~~~~ Jungkook wakes up with dark eyes and in a darker space. He has died. That much he is sure of. He saw a flash and maybe a bang before the world fell into place. Somehow, he had been searching for the truth the whole time, and when it came into fruition it was too late. It really is ironic. He brushes the hair out of his face and brings his head closely to the table in front of him. The metal feels cold against his skin and he begins to close his eyes again. Perhaps sleep would take him more permanently next time.“Wake up,” Jungkook opens his eyes cautiously. He’s dead anyways, it didn’t really matter what came next. A man takes a seat across from him, suit pressed and lips tight. It reminds Jungkook of a drama he had seen once.“I’m here on behalf of your life,” The chair he’s sitting in starts to seem a little more uncomfortable, the sharp edges digging into his skin.“You are aware that you are dead, yes?”Jungkook cautiously nods, waiting for some camera crew to tell him he’s mistaken. Poor baby boy has been fooled into thinking he was dead. What an idiot! But no one steps out, and Jungkook is left with the soulless eyes of the man across of him. He is dead. The man across from him smiles slightly, but his teeth only remind Jungkook of the sharks he had seen on television. Seokjin hyung had promised to take him to the aquarium to see one in real life. The thought drifts like dust in his head. “Now, are you also aware of the miracles that surrounded your life?”Jungkook isn’t quite sure what he means by this, but he can guess. It’s not difficult to pinpoint what a miracle really means in his life. He nods again, breaking eye contact. There was nothing there for Jungkook to see anyways. He moves in his seat. The metal no longer feels cool to the touch. “By all accounts, you should have died,” the other man pauses to take a glance at his watch, “You should have died when you were approximately 5 years old.”Jungkook isn’t particularly shocked. His life seemed to circle the drain a couple times, every growing instance either a slap or blessing by the man Himself. The age was more or less irrelevant. Inside though, he’s pleased on the amount of time he had stolen from God. The room fills with silence. The darkness seems to leer at him, making faces in the pregnant pause.“Now, I’m not sure you quite understand yet. You, Jeon Jungkook are dead, and unless you otherwise convince the Lord that you didn’t steal these miracles from others you are going to go to Hell.”“Steal miracles?” Words feel foreign on his tongue. It had been awhile since he had spoken aloud. The man across him sighs, and some mask begins to unfurl itself from the void within. Jungkook can begin to see lights in the other man’s eyes. He can’t tell if it’s the kind of light that burns or heals.“I have an idea. We have the time,” The other man glances at his watch again. “Well, we have some time. Just tell me the story of your life as you see it.”Jungkook blinks. His hands have somehow met the corner of the desk, and his knuckles are white from the grip. He let’s go of the table, and cracks his fingers instinctively. The noise doesn’t reverberate through the room, instead it’s absorbed as quickly as it had come. The man across him nods and Jungkook opens his mouth.
11260848	Peeping Tom Cat	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "F/M", "Characters": "Adrien Agreste, Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Plagg (Miraculous Ladybug), Tikki (Miraculous Ladybug)", "Fandom": "Miraculous Ladybug", "Language": "English", "Rating": "General Audiences", "author": "by orphan_account", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-30T00:00:00", "words": "3,843", "Additional Tags": "bee sting, allergy, keep up kwami, Hobbies, Hiking, Gardening, Ruins, epinephrine, drawing salves, how did you not know, barely made it, closing airways, Anaphylaxis, One-Shot, Identity Reveal", "Relationship": "Adrien Agreste/Marinette Dupain-Cheng", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": "Publishing My Appreciation", "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Marinette had an afternoon to herself for the first time in a week. It was summer vacation and she didn't have any obligations; not to her parents, not to Alya, not to an uncompleted design, or anything. This was a date between her and her balcony plants who could use some necessary, and overdue, TLC.She stuffed a handful of tea bags into her glass jug, filled it with water, and set it out to steep. Nothing like a big glass of sun tea and a cold shower after pulling weeds. Her hands were itching to dig in the dirt and she'd just clipped all her nails down in preparation.The first plant she was going to tackle today was a large jasmine vine that had decided to take over the railing and threatened to strangle out some neighbors."Come here you little bugger," she growled as she took her shears and started snipping the tendrils that had grown tightly around other plants. "I'm going to train you this way so you'll leave those tea roses alone."Adrien was sick and tired of his personal trainer constantly complaining about his lack of exercise. 'Sorry, Antoine, but working up a sweat in a room full of half naked guys isn't my cup of tea.' His father demanded he do something to get out of the house. Little did his father know that he was leaving all the time and he just thought he was still locked up in his room."I'm going to go on a hike," he announced to Nathalie, "Tell that to Antoine so he'll leave me alone. Let my father know I'm leaving the house. I'm taking the Gorilla and hiking up to Sacre-Coeur.""I'm sure they'll both be pleased to hear it. Good day, Adrien."With that, he hitched his pack more securely over his shoulders and marched out of the house. Gorilla was waiting next to the car, in similar hiking attire, but with more of a military feel. He was decked in black; black combat boots, thick black pants with loads of pockets, a utility belt, tight black t-shirt, black denim jacket, sunglasses, rash guards, a bandana hanging down his neck, and a boonie hat on top. His pack was presumably in the car."Ready?" he asked.Gorilla grunted once. Then he jerked his head upwards to ask, "You?""Yeah, I think so. I have about ten kilos of water."Gorilla appeared relieved when he jerked his head towards the sedan. Adrien had assured him, when he asked to go hiking, that he wouldn't be stupid and come prepared.Marinette carried her overly full watering can towards her first set of plants that she'd just finished weeding and pruning. There was a good sized puddle of rapidly evaporating water where her first attempt to tote water over had failed. That resulted in a new rash on her knee and a dented tin can."Let's try that again," she set her jaw and marched determinedly over to the first large green planter. This was the one with the jasmine vine. "Now you behave for me, won't you?" It was quickly followed by a chuckle and head shake, "Yeah, right. That's like telling a butterfly to stay or Chat Noir not to pun. Lord help me." Marinette felt like she could see the vines coming undone and traveling back to strangle the others right in front of her eyes. She could have sworn she'd tied them up better the first time, but 'ah, well, c'est la vie.'Her phone rang just as she emptied her watering can. "Hello! This is Marinette.""Hey, girl. How is your gardening day working out?""It was going well until I was interrupted," she said playfully sullen."Yeah, yeah. I'll let you go. I just wondered what you were doing tomorrow?""I had planned on sleeping in."Alya sighed dejectedly, "Okay then. I guess I won't invite you out to the firework display tomorrow. There's going to be an exhibition at the Eiffel...and Adrien is coming.""Adrien?!" Marinette gushed."Yes, golden boy, your dream supreme, served up on a silver platter by yours truly; with some help from Nino. Okay, all made possible by Nino, but I had the idea to ask him.""Count me in," she exclaimed."Great! I'll let Nino know. We got the date rate.""Date rate?""Oh, uh, you get a discount if you come with a date. It's a picnic of sorts.""Alya...?!" Marinette warned, "What do you mean 'of sorts.'""There might be a pair rate that comes with a picnic basket packed for two. It's no big deal. You are paired with Adrien and I'll be paired with Nino.""But you're Nino's girlfriend!""Yeah, and grass is green, the sun is yellow, and you're Adrien's date for tomorrow. He'll be thrilled to hear we found someone for him. He was afraid of third wheeling it.""Oh, my God, Alya. Why do I let you do this to me," she babbled, "A date with Adrien?" Her hand came up to rest on her swiftly reddening cheek. This was an opportunity she had always hoped for, but never believed would happen. It was happening."It doesn't have to be a date-date. You can go as friends.""Yeah...""Marinette?""Hmm?""I'm losing you to fantasies, aren't I?""What?""I'll let you go," Alya chuckled, "It seems like I've exceeded Marinette 1.0 processing capacity.""Uh-huh," she murmured."Bye, girl.""B-bye."Marinette practically danced across the balcony and flopped into her lounger, "I can't believe it!" she squealed into her hands, "A date with Adrien! AHHH!!"Adrien left Gorilla at the base of the cathedral to secure the perimeter and maintain a vigilant eye on the pedestrians in the area while Adrien hiked to the top and took a 'tour' of the cathedral. If by external view made possible by one kwami Plagg, cat extraordinaire.He transformed and pulled a telescope out of his bag. This was an opportunity to get some prime day-time sight seeing in. He couldn't very well go zipping across the city at the moment, in case his babysitter decided to come looking, but with a trusty telescope he could view some pretty amazing sun-kissed sights.The golden cylinder scanned the horizon. Adrien could see Nino's apartment building in the distance. He could see his house, the Grand Paris hotel, and his school. It scanned a little further and he found Tom and Sabine's Boulangerie and Patisserie. A smile graced his face as he spied Marinette on her balcony. She was precariously looking over the edge of her balcony watering flowers.Adrien frowned. Marinette was clumsy. That was entirely too dangerous for a regular sure-footed person and especially so for her. He gulped when he saw her sling her leg over the side and dangle herself over. "Marinette, what the hell?!" he whispered, "That's so dangerous. Go back, go back, go ba--SHIT!" he exclaimed as he saw her tumble.Without a backwards glance, Chat vaulted towards the bakery. Marinette had plummeted over the edge of her balcony.Marinette was trying to water the hanging box of nasturtiums she had settled just below a box of geraniums. They were layered in a way that the nasturtiums were below and a little farther out from the wall. The watering can could reach the geraniums, but the nasturtiums were a little more tricky.She stood up on the rail and leaned with the watering can and tipped it into the geraniums. Some of the water sloshed out and managed to land in the nasturtium box, but not nearly enough to be sufficient. Without a second's hesitation, she slung her leg over the rail and leaned down to water the lower planter. As she was leaning forward she felt a sharp prick. It was instantaneously painful and within seconds she was having trouble breathing. In seconds, the world spun and went black.Chat arrived at the bakery and found an unconscious Marinette at the base of the building. She was breathing, but it was labored. Her lips were swollen and her eyes puffy."Someone call 112!!! PLEASE!! Quickly!" Chat exclaimed. A small crowd of people showed up to watch him as he leaned over her unconscious form. He could already see from the odd angle that her leg was twisted under her that it was broken. Her most pressing danger, however, was the obvious anaphylaxis. From his pack he retrieved a vial and a syringe. It was his epinephrine for an allergic reaction because Adrien did have a rather severe feather allergy. Should he inhale them it could be dire without epi. He gave her an injection and could immediately hear her breathing resume, less labored. She was still unconscious, however.It was time to look for what he only assumed was a bee sting. Thankfully, logic won out as he found a stinger, in her swollen forearm, that was still pulsing. He quickly plucked it out and pulled out a little tub of dark green-black gunk. It was a drawing salve he had for splinters and whatnot, but he applied to her giant welt."Come on, princess. Stay with me. The ambulance is coming." He was afraid to touch her too much without knowing the extent of her injuries.When the emergency personnel arrived he passed her off to them and watched them load her up into the ambulance. He gave them a statement of what he saw happen, gave them the stinger he found, and how much epi he gave her.Afterwards, teary eyed and panicked, he returned to Sacre-Coeur. He stopped by a bathroom to clean himself up and drop his transformation. As Adrien, he'd have to put his game face on so the Gorilla wouldn't suspect anything had transpired. He was just taking a hike and touring the cathedral. Time to get home and hide out in his room so he can sneak out to check on Marinette.He checked his cell phone and saw a text from Nino. Nino: Hey, dude, Marinette's coming as your date tomorrow. See you there! We'll see about that. Nino was obviously unaware that said date just took a tumble off of a three story building and was currently in the hospital with unknown injuries.BEEP My head is killing me. BEEP Where the hell am I? I was watering nasturtiums. BEEP There was a sharp sting and then nothing. BEEP What is that beeping sound? BEEP Something is on my face and my finger. Is there something on my arm. BEEPMarinette opened her eyes to blindingly white light and the smell of alcohol. Ick.Suddenly there was a face in front of her own."Chat?! What are you doing here?"His concerned eyes, glassy with extra moisture, crinkled as a smile lit up his face, "Afternoon, beautiful.""Don't you mean princess?" she smirked."How about my beautiful princess?" he asked and placed a gentle kiss to her hand.At that moment, Marinette realized there was an IV in her arm, an oximeter on her finger, and a cannula in her nose. Then as she scanned down she could see a large bubble cast on her leg from the knee down."You're such a flirty kitty," she grinned. Then more somber, "You were the one who found me, weren't you?"He nodded silently."I'm sorry," she frowned, "I don't even know what happened.""You got stung by a honey bee," he blurted, "You are deathly allergic.""What?! I am?""You went into anaphylactic shock and fell.""Oh, God," she reached up with her left hand and rubbed her forehead, "I had a bad feeling when I climbed over to water those nasturtiums.""Nast-what?""Nasturtiums," she repeated, "They're flowers. I grow them and eat them in salad.""Why would you do it, Marinette?"Oh, no. She was in trouble. He'd called her Marinette which meant serious Chat. "Do what?""You know you're a bit on the clumsy side," putting it nicely, "Why would you climb over the railing?"That was it. He was disappointed in her. A frown tugged at the corners of her lips; she was disappointed, too. It was a dumb mistake. "I don't know. I just couldn't quite reach them and thought it would give me better leverage."He squeezed her hand, "Promise me you won't do that again." She'd never seen the soft concern on his face before; as Marinette or Ladybug. Chat had been worried and he cared for her. It was sweet and she was touched."Chat..." she sighed, "I'll try not to.""Marinette..." The scolding lilt to his voice was telling. He wasn't letting this go.It wouldn't be a lie if she promised as Marinette and watered them as Ladybug, right? Just a little stretch. "Fine," with a resigned sigh she nodded resolutely, "I, Marinette, promise not to climb over the railing to water the nasturtiums."His eyes sparkled, "Meow that wasn't so hard meow, was it?"She rolled her eyes, but smiled. This was the side of Chat she liked to see. A serious kitty is a sad kitty and that would never do.Just then, her doctor entered."Good afternoon, Chat Noir. Thank you for checking in on our luckiest patient," he smiled, "Fell nearly four stories and has only the single broken bone. No concussion, additional lacerations other than a skinned knee, and only a few contusions. Looks like you'll be free to go tonight. We will need to fit you for a cast tomorrow, judging by the rate the swelling is going down."Marinette grimaced, "I'll be here." There was no way she'd show how upset she was about missing out on the event tomorrow with her friends; especially not in front of Chat. This was just another one of those moments when luck wasn't on her side. Sigh.Tikki made sure Marinette knew that Ladybug wasn't off the table if she still wanted to make an appearance. "You'll be a little slower, because of the pain, but the transformation should support the bones just as effectively as a cast. If not more so, actually, and heal faster. The cast will be absorbed and then reappear when you return."Alya growled, "You can still come with us, girl! You'll be on crutches, right? We might not be able to go to the picnic area, but we could all hang out by the river.""That would just ruin your date with Nino and I don't want to do that to you.""I don't want to hear it. You're going. If you don't go then I'm not going to go. End of.""Alya!" she whined, "You're being so unfair. It is mortifying enough that I'm wearing this giant plaster cast on my leg and then another embarrassment entirely that I might hinder Adrien's fun thanks to my condition.""No, no, no, girl, he's cool with it. He called Nino this morning to make sure you were still coming.""He did?" Hope springs eternal. Her heart beat picked up and soared in her chest."Yes! Now come on and get ready to go. You have to come with us.""Okay," she set her jaw determinedly and lifted herself off of her bed. The crutches were a bit cumbersome, but she'd manage. Plus, there was the issue of getting dressed. Oy, why did she agree to this? "I'll get dressed and then meet you downstairs.""Uh, about that," Alya drawled, "I already sent Adrien to get you.""You WHAT?!" her eye twitched in irritation. She was not ready for this."Come on. He has a car and he literally lives right next to you. Listen, I love you, but you need to see the logic of this decision."Audibly sighing, "All right. I can do it. I've got this.""You do. I have faith in you! I'm going to let you go so you can get dressed.""Thanks, Alya."No sooner had Marinette finagled her leg into her shorts did the call from her mother rise through her trap door, "Marinette, your friend is here to pick you up.""Coming, maman!" With a last look in the mirror, applying an additional layer of lip gloss, she popped them together a few times and flew down the stairs. Well...tried. Marinette had the crutches under her arm and moved at a snail's pace trying to get down the stairs. "It'll be just be a minute.""Here, allow me." Suddenly, she was staring into the deep green eyes of Adrien Agreste, his voice soft and presence unexpected.Marinette choked on the breath she'd attempted to take and squeaked, "Oh. Okay. You don't have to. I can make it.""Shush, Mari. I've got it," he flashed his model smile. Her knees collapsed out from under her just as he was reaching out to help. Luckily, it looked like she was tripping when she'd really just almost swooned. His hands slipped around her and caught her on the way down. "Careful there, princess. Can't have you falling down the stairs and taking me with you. I'd be out of a job," he chuckled. Then he smirked, "On second thought, let's try that again and trip me.""Adrien," she scolded.He grinned in a very un-Adrien-like way that made her bust up laughing."Shut up," she smirked, "You could fall down the stairs and still look ten times better than the rest of us mere mortals."He raised an eyebrow, "I believe math is not your strong suit, Marinette. I'm looking at you now and that would be impossible."She huffed and rolled her eyes, begging to her face not to blush, "Come on."As he helped her limp across the living room, towards the front door, Sabine watched on with glistening eyes, "You two look so cute together." She ran to retrieve her camera and documented his aid of a hopping Marinette. They were both all giggles. Adrien finding her inability to walk on the regular was enough to provide material for teasing."You're doing great, Mari! I think you walk better now than you did before. You should break your leg more often," he chuckled and dodged her elbow.She was a bunch of nervous giggles each time she'd hobble into him and he'd catch her under the arms. "WHOOPS!" followed by both of them cackling.Finally, down at the car, he got her situated inside and ran to the other door so she wouldn't have to climb across the seat."To the plaza!" he called to the Gorilla. Then he glanced over to Marinette, equally as breathless as he was, "That was fun."She just giggled and nodded.They arrived to find Alya and Nino waving them over, "I almost thought you guys weren't going to show up."Nino snickered, "No lie, bro, she was getting ready to hunt you guys down." He leaned forward to whisper conspiratorially, "Like I was scared for you."Marinette laughed, "That's Alya for you." She checked her watch and grimaced, "You guys should all head up the hill. The show should start soon and dinner will have been served without you."Alya sighed, "Oh, Marinette, we're going to stay down here with you.""NO!" she cried, "You can't. You have to go. You can't let me keep you from enjoying tonight. If you're not going to go up there then I'm leaving. I could just wait here until you're done."Adrien stopped her rambling by placing a gentle hand on her shoulder, "I think I have an idea." Marinette squeaked as he leaned down and swept her up into his arms. That is how Marinette found herself being cradle carried by one Adrien Agreste up to the picnic area."Put me down," she grinned as she wrapped her arms around his neck to keep from slipping."I would if you didn't look so happy about it," he chuckled.She buried her now vibrantly flushed cheeks into his neck and sighed heavily. Her head shook as if to say 'I can't believe this,' but her heart beat like there was no tomorrow.Suddenly, they stopped walking. "I think this is us," he exclaimed. Nino and Alya sat down on a lilac colored blanket next to their aquamarine one. Adrien didn't bother to set her down. Instead, he sat down and draped her across his legs."Uh, Adrien...""Hmm?" he glanced to her innocently. "Oh!" her realized she was wondering why she was on his lap, "I thought it might be more comfortable if your knee wasn't hyper-extended by sitting on the ground. That cast will make it hard to keep a bend in your knee.""Oh," she nodded, "Th-that makes sense." Her face was instantly on fire.A basket was delivered to their blanket and the atmosphere was more intimate than either of them had anticipated. There was a bottle of wine, a corkscrew, two glasses, a single baked pasta dish, two forks, and a generous slice of apple pie.Marinette felt Adrien drape his arms loosely around her waist. He held her steady while she pulled the contents out of the basket and set it up for them."I'm glad you're okay," he whispered.Marinette glanced over to Adrien and found him staring intensely at her, "Uh, th-thanks, Adrien.""Want to tell me how it happened?"She shrugged, "I was watering flowers and got stung by a bee. I ended up falling."Adrien laid his forehead on her shoulder and shook his head, "I can't believe you didn't know you were allergic to bees."They both tensed. Adrien realized his mistake just as Marinette realized what he'd just said."YOU!?" she exclaimed in shock.His eyes widened and he put his hand over her mouth. "Mari, I can explain," he pleaded.She grabbed his wrist, to remove his hand, and leaned in to press her lips firmly to his. It was a single fluid movement that caught him quite off guard. It was Adrien's turn to squeak and Marinette reveled in it.They enthusiastically dove into this first kiss, their bodies naturally gravitating towards each other, and their hands winding up into the other's hair. The dam just broke. Now they both knew how the other felt and it was euphoric."WHOO!!!" Alya cheered from the next blanket over."Yeah, buddy, get some," Nino chuckled.It wasn't the best of circumstances, but Adrien and Marinette would consider this the perfect first date because they finally found each other.It was followed closely by the second, not-so-perfect date, in which Chat took her to the top of the Eiffel Tower. That is where she proceeded to launch from the top, revealing herself by transforming in mid-air. Once she managed to calm the shocked, and thoroughly displeased Chat, he couldn't stop smiling. His lack of a sense of humor was followed quickly by elation.It was the beginning of a lifelong relationship, between two partners, that had always been madly in love with each other. They just didn't know it.
11213781	Interesting	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Thrawn - Character, Eli Vanto", "Fandom": null, "Language": "English", "Rating": "Explicit", "author": "by orphan_account", "chapters": "5/5", "completed": "2018-02-04", "published": "2017-06-16T00:00:00", "words": "6,891", "Additional Tags": "Gay Sex, eventually, Consensual, Cute, Happy, Fluff and Smut, Interspecies Romance, but like star wars interspecies, Seriously like humans and humanoids, Chiss, Awkward First Times, Awkward Sexual Situations, First Time Bottoming, First Time Topping, sweet but really awkward, Thranto!", "Relationship": "Thrawn \| Mitth'raw'nuruodo/Eli Vanto", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": "Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Thrawn - Timothy Zahn", "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Eli Vanto held his bags in his arms, grunting as his pack slid down from his shoulder and pulled at his elbow, hoping he could make it back to his room before anyone noticed he hadn’t shaved.He’d just come back from leave and he had no one but himself to blame for his predicament. He kept telling himself he’d shave before he left home, then it was when he was on his way to the capital, then it was waiting for the shuttle, then it was on the shuttle. Before he knew it, the shuttle was landing and it was too late. Thankfully his plan was working – the bags had all but masked his scruffy face.“Ensign Vanto, welcome back,” a voice called out.“Yeah, glad to be back,” Eli mumbled back, burying his face in his bag and hoped he wasn’t about to walk into a wall.“You need help with those?” another voice asked.“Oh, no, I’ve got a handle on it,” Eli said, the pack pulling heavily at his elbow and making him a liar.When he reached his quarters, Eli leaned his odd collection of bags against the wall in order to free a hand, slapping the button to open the door blindly, and spilled into his room. The bags tumbled all over the floor, but Eli stood with his back straight and his chest puffed out. He’d done it.“Ensign Vanto,” a familiar voice said. “Welcome-”Eli locked eyes with his roommate and grinned. The Chiss’s eyes were wide with fascination.Granted, Eli only knew the scope of Thrawn’s fascination since he’d gotten to know how to read his miniscule expressions. The ‘wide eyes’ wouldn’t have even registered to anyone not already familiar with the Chiss. The way his eyesbrows went up sharply? His mouth opening just so slightly? Eli held back a laugh for his roommate’s sake. He knew what was drawing Thrawn’s attention, and he flashed him the best dashing grin he could muster.Eli had figured out pretty quickly that Chiss didn’t grow facial hair – and learned pretty soon after that they didn’t have body hair anywhere else either. Military regulations were fairly restrictive on how officers were allowed to appear, limiting facial hair to mustache… sideburns… maybe a mutton chop if one was truly ballsy.After a week of being home, Eli was sporting quite the shadow.And Thrawn had been fairly sheltered inside the galactic military.“You miss me?” Eli asked innocently enough, approaching his roommate at a quick pace. Thrawn’s face was on its way to becoming that faint shade of purple it did whenever he got excited. Eli stopped in front of Thrawn, still flashing that grin. Thrawn leaned back ever so slightly at Eli’s approach, but did nothing else beyond staring at Eli’s face with curiosity. It was a curiosity so consuming Eli’s question hadn’t even registered.“You miss me, sir?” Eli asked again.Thrawn blinked, tearing his eyes away from the stubble and meeting Eli’s eyes. He faltered slightly.“Ensign Vanto,” he said. “I… believe you’re not… in accordance with regulation…”If he hadn’t known Thrawn so well, Eli might have gotten annoyed over that statement – that it wasn’t something more romantic. But Eli knew Thrawn – it came down to him not really knowing what else to say so resorting to his observations.“Well, I missed you,” Eli said cheerfully enough, rising up to his tip toes to plant a kiss on the Chiss’s lips. Thrawn was taken aback, but only momentarily. Eli’s eyes shot open with surprise when Thrawn deepened the kiss, wrapping a hand around the back of his head, a slight gasp of surprise quickly silenced as their lips spread apart.Eli couldn’t help but grin mischievously. So Thrawn liked the scruff.He broke off the kiss, feeling flushed, but grinning apologetically all the same. “I really ought to shave before I get hemmed up for this,” he explained, wheeling around for their refresher before Thrawn could see the grin on his face. Eli rarely had such an opportunity to play hard to get.Eli barely made it two steps towards the refresher when Thrawn stopped him.“Ensign Vanto…” he said, stalling. Eli stopped, looking over his shoulder. This was going to be great.Thrawn never outright would tell Eli if he wanted to have sex. Usually the way he phrased ‘come to bed’ involved really awkwardly worded requests like ‘would you care to join me?’ or ‘there’s something I’d like to discuss.’ Discuss. Oh, they did a lot of discussing.Eli had learned to accept it in good humor. Even if Thrawn was frustrating most of the time, he was innocent. And somehow, his awkwardness made him even more endearing.“Yes, sir?” Eli asked.“There’s…” Thrawn trailed off again. Eli felt his heart beat flutter, his eyes darting to the crotch of the Chiss’s pants, clearly visible as he was tunic-less at the moment and… Eli bit his lip. Oh, yeah. Thrawn had missed him. “… there’s a matter in which I could use your assistance-”Eli was pretty sure Thrawn thought his choice of words were absolutely sly and that made him even more adorable. “Is there?” Eli asked, playing along, feinting ignorance. “It can’t wait? I really need to sign back in from leave and I can’t do that like this.” He stroked his chin for good measure.“Oh, no, it’s most urgent.”Eli grinned, walking back up to Thrawn, watching the tiny changes in his expression. The purple flush of his cheeks spreading to his neck… his shoulders… Eli stopped, too close to be professional, and looked up at Thrawn. Those eyes… glowing, curious… Eli wished he could know what he was thinking, what he was imagining. “Yes, sir?” Eli asked, reaching down to grab Thrawn’s hand, forcing their fingers to intertwine. He lifted Thrawn’s hand, letting the back of it rub against his cheek as he guided it to the back of his neck. As if the brush was accidental. Thrawn gave a soft, sharp intake of breath at the scratch.“Don’t you want me to follow Imperial regulations?”“Not yet,” Thrawn answered, leaning forward. Eli met him halfway, letting his lips touch Thrawn’s for just a moment before brushing past, letting his cheek scrape against Thrawn’s as he kissed his face, finding his earlobe, sucking on it. This was usually the moment when Eli began to melt, when Thrawn took over, and with an odd stab of excitement in his stomach, Eli realized Thrawn was the one melting.He decided to test his power over his lover, pushing Thrawn gently back, and he obeyed, talking a small, perhaps even subconscious, step back… the sudden surge of confidence almost made Eli giddy. He’d never been in charge like this before. Granted, Thrawn was good at what he did. But Eli wasn’t about to let inexperience screw up this chance.He took another step forward, pushing Thrawn another step back, his arms wrapped around Thrawn’s neck, hoping his bunk wasn’t too far away. They collapsed onto it, but instead of feeling clumsy, Eli felt like his confidence was kicked up yet another notch – Thrawn had gasped again – like he didn’t mind Eli’s dominance. Eli’s lips found Thrawn’s again, his kisses more direct, hungrier. And still… half expecting at any moment for Thrawn to take charge.But he didn’t.It has to be the stubble. Maybe it made him look older. Rugged. Dangerous. Like some kind of smuggler maybe. Maybe the idea of being subjugated to a rugged dangerous smuggler guy, the kind of guy they spent their days hunting down, gave Thrawn a thrill… They’d caught plenty of slavers… humans… with their alien cargos. Or maybe the scruff scratched the right itch? Eli had no idea how it must have felt, but it was obvious it was driving Thrawn crazy. Eli could feel the Chiss’s hips push up against him, desperately seeking stimulation…Whatever the case, after kissing for a minute without the tables being turned on him, Eli had to assume he was the one in the pilot’s seat. A devilish grin spread over his face as he reached down to caress the sudden tightness in Thrawn’s trousers, the Chiss answering his touch by bucking his hips into his hand. Eli broke his lips away from Thrawn’s, coming to rest on his neck, his tongue tracing the contour of his throat. And still… Thrawn continued to submit. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “You missed me that much?” Eli teased, his lips brushing the side of Thrawn’s neck, the thrill at Thrawn’s desperation getting to be overwhelming. Thrawn kept thrusting his hips into Eli’s hand, and while tormenting him for a while longer was certainly one idea, Eli was too excited himself. A week was a long time to wait.He fumbled with trying to undo the fastenings of Thrawn’s trousers, finding it was actually kind of difficult to do with one hand – his other was still wrapped around the back of Thrawn’s head, fingers combing through his hair.Thrawn’s hands found the fastenings for Eli’s tunic, and quickly the situation turned into a sloppy attempt at disrobing one another. Eli felt his cheeks flush with embarrassment – this would be how it turned out when he was in charge.But Thrawn let Eli pull his trousers down, quickly submitting once again. Eli knew what to expect, but seeing Thrawn stole his breath each time.He kissed Thrawn’s neck again, grinning stupidly at Thrawn’s soft, shuddering moan as Eli began kissing a trail to the Chiss’s chest. His lips followed the contour of his pectoral muscles, appreciating how well defined they were. Eli glanced up at Thrawn as he uncurled his hand from the back of Thrawn’s neck and rested a finger on top of a nipple.Another gasp. Eli grinned again, sheepishly burying his stubbly face into Thrawn’s chest, which elicited another sensuous groan. Eli startled, realized he should capitalize off that, and cautiously gave Thrawn’s nipple a pinch while kind of wincing in trepidation.Thrawn arched his back that time, moaning loudly, and Eli glanced up in surprise to look at the expression on his face. For a moment, he was worried he’d pushed it too far, maybe hurt him even? Thrawn was deadly serious about love-making, and deadly silent, too. Thrawn's vocalizations were completely new for Eli.But the flushed face that looked back at him was begging for more. Alright.Eli rolled the nipple between his fingertips, causing Thrawn to arch his back again. Eli grinned, kissing Thrawn’s chest again, slowly dragging his scratchy chin lower, his teeth grating against skin as he found himself grinning wider and wider – Thrawn was anticipating Eli’s moves and thrust his hips pleadingly.But Eli took his time, much to Thrawn’s torment, licking those perfectly chiseled abs. Eli was surprised Thrawn wasn’t trying to relieve some of the pressure himself, but it looked like he had completely surrendered himself.Eli laughed a little to himself when he finally placed the taste his tongue had encountered. Soap. And for whatever reason, Eli was mentally dying in hysterics thinking of Thrawn – the guy who came up with ridiculous come-hither phrases because he was too shy to say anything too direct about sex – had still planned ahead enough to take a shower before Eli showed up. As innocently as he acted, Thrawn had dick on his mind.Eli drew his head back, observing Thrawn’s expectant face, and then glanced down at his equally expectant member.And slowly gave it a forceful lick, traveling up the shaft, before taking it in his mouth. Thrawn gasped again, and Eli held himself still, letting the Chiss thrust himself into his mouth. And even though he felt like it was cheating, Eli had to reach down and take some of the pressure off of himself as he noticed Thrawn’s hands raking over his chest, as though exploring ways to heighten the sensation.And… once again, Eli felt self-doubt creeping over his mind. Waiting for Thrawn to take charge… afraid that he was reading things wrong… scared to make a mistake.As if reading his human’s sudden apprehension, Thrawn wrapped one of his legs over Eli’s shoulder, letting his other leg fall away to the side, as if opening himself. Eli cringed, the self-doubt coming back, easily defeating his fleeting confidence. Even if Thrawn's actions were loud and clear, the idea had taken hold that Eli really wasn't capable of it.“Eli,” Thrawn murmured, Eli glancing up to meet his eyes. “I trust you.”For a moment Eli just stared back dumbfounded – first that Thrawn said anything at all, and secondly that his choice of words was so… Thrawn. But then it clicked – Thrawn, the Chiss who had control over every situation he had ever walked into, was letting Eli know that he trusted him enough to surrender his control.Knowing the gravity of such trust, Eli pushed ahead. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- For a moment which seemed to stretch out forever, Eli’s mind was trapped. I trust you. And the view laid out before him was, understandably, a bit of a distractor, too. Thrawn, writhing slowly in arousal, everything exposed. Eli was pretty sure he was sweating. Feeling the blush burning his cheeks, he was staring at the complete package… Thrawn’s quivering cock… more importantly, with his legs spread open….Eli knew what Thrawn wanted, hell, he knew what he wanted. He just wished he was someone else at that moment. “Eli…” Thrawn moaned again, begging. Eli bit his lip. Thrawn had always been a most attendant lover – patient, intense, single-mindedly focus on the task. Anything Eli had ever signaled, Thrawn would pick up, as though reading his thoughts. “You are afraid?” Thrawn asked, and Eli felt his heart quiver at the tone on his voice. The disappointment, but also the worry of putting Eli in a difficult position.“I…” he had to think of something quick. Because it wasn’t the idea of dominating Thrawn that was holding him back, it was just the initial jump to get started. “…I’m afraid I might hurt you.”Eli winced a bit at his words. He didn’t want to make assumptions about Thrawn’s past, but the way he’d reacted gave Eli reason to believe he wasn’t used to be bottomed by anyone.Thrawn missed the question behind the statement, and gestured, almost drunkenly, to the nightstand, “I have set aside lubrication.”That brought an easy smile to Eli’s face. Thrawn really did have dick on his mind. The mental image of Thrawn getting everything in order, the room ready for his arrival nearly made Eli chuckle out loud.“Alright,” Eli said, grabbing the bottle, hoping his stumbling words wasn’t killing the mood. “But that… was only half of what I was getting at. I meant… I don’t know if you’ve done… this… before.”Thrawn’s eyes flickered, a deadly serious look taking over his expression for a moment. “Never.”“Never?”“No.”“Oh, boy,” Eli said, exhaling loudly. “You sure?”“Very sure.”“With me?”Thrawn sat up, grabbing Eli behind the neck and drawing his face close to his. He purred into his ear, taking breaks to lick the side of his face, “I want to know how it feels to be dominated. To be underneath you. To be powerless against your advances. To feel you inside of me. You, Eli Vanto. I want to submit to you.”The words had done the trick. The licks, even better. A steely resolve crossed Eli’s mind, the momentary self-doubt gone. “Powerless, you say,” Eli said, putting a hand on Thrawn’s chest and breaking the Chiss’s kiss, shoving him off. The way Thrawn gasped softly, a whisper speaking of some unrealized desire, set off another bout of encouragement in him. “You’re not acting very powerless,” Eli went on, grabbing Thrawn’s shoulder and slamming the Chiss face-side-down on the bed. Beneath his hands, he could feel Thrawn struggle, but he knew it was play. Thrawn could have easily withstood even Eli’s best efforts. But he liked it. Thrawn liked the idea of being pushed around… of being taken advantage of. The struggle would have been more pronounced if he thought Eli would be able to contain it.He couldn’t just have sex with Thrawn. He had to give him what he wanted. Just as Thrawn was able to read into Eli’s various noises and motions, Eli was able to read Thrawn. “Stay there,” Eli said, not in his normal Eli-voice, but with an authoritative edge that elicited another excited moan from Thrawn. The Chiss stayed put. Exactly as Eli had left him.Eli nearly ran to his locker and tossed most of it before he found what he was looking for. He returned to the bed, the Chiss’s eyes sparkling with curiosity, and when he guessed its purpose, approval.Eli set to work quickly, not wanting to lose any of the momentum. He grabbed each of Thrawn’s hands and brought them to the small of his back. His struggling was a token gesture at best, but he certainly didn’t do much to break away as Eli masterfully tied his hands together with the 550 cord he’d gotten from his locker.“There,” Eli said, leaning forward to whisper into Thrawn’s ear, taking extra effort to let his scruff rub along the edge of Thrawn’s cheek. “You can’t get away from me.”Thrawn tested the binds, at first the same perfunctory effort as before, but once Thrawn realized the ties were strong, gave it a serious attempt. Eli laid a hand on Thrawn’s back, feeling his shoulders muscle constrain under his fingertips.“A useless effort,” Eli rumbled, and then scowled as Thrawn brought a knee close to his chest, playfully digging a toe into Eli’s side and pushing them apart. “You really want to be powerless, huh?”Thrawn “tried” to wrest his legs out of Eli’s control, but within a minute, both of Thrawn’s feet were tied to the bedposts, his legs now forcibly spread. “Damn, Thrawn,” Eli let out a low whistle as he inspected his work. Again, finding himself staring as Thrawn laid utterly exposed to him. Eli reached down, under the bed, to give his cock a test rub. Oh, yeah. He was excited. Eli could feel it throbbing at his touch.Eli stepped down from the bed, walking over to Thrawn’s face. He was nearly panting already with anticipation, his face that delicate shade of lilac.“Whatever I want to do to you, I can do it,” Eli murmured as he grabbed a handful of Thrawn’s hair, maneuvering his face so it was perfectly positioned to take Eli’s cock. Thrawn only opened his mouth expectantly, his tongue reaching out desperately. “Don’t think pleasing me is going to make it any easier on you,” Eli said, easing his cock into Thrawn’s mouth. Thrawn moaned at his words, and Eli thrust himself into Thrawn’s mouth, petting his hair as he did so. He moved his hand to Thrawn’s neck, down his shoulders… and, with muscling trembling under his touch, rested his hand at last on his ass. He let out another low whistle as he appreciated it. It was perfect, absolutely perfect, like the rest of Thrawn.He pulled himself out of Thrawn’s mouth, and Thrawn laid his head back down on the pillow, looking over his shoulder as Eli eased himself over to the other side of the bed. Eli grabbed both cheeks in his hands, squeezing them, slowly pulling them apart, watching the subtle ways his muscles tightened. But his eyes couldn’t remain distracted for long…. “You said never?” Eli asked, leaning closer. “So that must mean you’re sensitive here?”Just the words made Thrawn moan. Eli grabbed the container of lube, popping the cap off violently. The sound Thrawn made at that caused Eli to moan as well. He aimed the bottle and squeezed its contents down Thrawn’s crack. Once again, the Chiss was completely shuddering in anticipation.Holding Thrawn’s cheeks apart, squeezing with his hands, Eli began a slow dance with his thumbs, spreading the lubricant, careful not to push too closely to his entrance. He avoided it altogether, causing Thrawn to give delightful gasps of anticipation followed by a soft moan of disappointment. Until, almost as if by accident, he brushed over the surface. No moan this time, as Thrawn had completely lost his breath. Another accident, and there was a gasp on top of a gasp. The dance was over, now both of Eli’s thumbs rolling on top of one another, as though fighting for control. Thrawn bit onto the pillow, muffling his pleads to penetrate.Eli immediately removed his hands, reminding Thrawn, “You don’t plead with me. I’m in control.”“Please,” Thrawn begged. “Touch me again. This is torture.”“You broke your own rule,” Eli pointed out, putting a bit of a purr on his words to make sure Thrawn knew this was still play. “There’s a consequence for that.”Thrawn’s eyes glittered with the sudden suggestion. “You are going to punish me?”Eli felt his face flush just as fast as the words had escaped Thrawn’s mouth. “Oh… well, I mean, if you want-” he winced, and regained control over his shock. “Of course I am. You need to be reminded where your place is.”And Thrawn settled his head back down on the pillow, glancing over his shoulder with a victorious and eager look on his face.Eli really didn’t want to hurt Thrawn, but he figured he might as well go at least 80%. He drew his open palm back, and brought it back swiftly against Thrawn’s ass, the sudden loud slap only matched by Thrawn’s groan of pleasure.“You learned your lesson?”The expression on Thrawn’s face clearly said after only one?Eli slapped him again, a little bit harder that time, and without waiting, he struck him again. Thrawn answered with a delightful moan, and a shuddering gasp of expectation for the next one. But Eli realized he was being walked into another game. So he laid his fingers as delicately as he could on the flesh slowly turning purple before his eyes, barely caressing the skin.“Does this make you more sensitive?” Eli whispered. Thrawn answered by trying vainly to press himself up into the fingers.“I think you’ve been punished,” Eli said, adding warningly, “for now. So behave yourself. You don’t want to distract me from what’s next.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Eli was hoping it would be like riding a ship through hyperspace – once things got going, there was nothing to keep him from moving forward. Except that wasn’t the case. Perhaps it was his own personality, his nerves – who knew. He was acting out of character and he couldn’t keep it up forever.Especially not with so much resting on his shoulders. His first time! There were so many ways Eli could mess this up.“I…” Eli stammered, wincing slightly at how disappointing this probably was shaping up to being. “I need you to be honest with me, you promise? If I hurt you, you have to tell me.”Thrawn was silent for a drawn-out moment, and Eli winced again – well, he’d just killed the mood.“Will it hurt?” Thrawn asked.“No,” Eli answered quickly, his face flushing. Stars, now he was scaring his love. “Well… it won’t feel comfortable. Not at first. But it shouldn’t hurt. And don’t let it hurt. The pain won’t just… magically go away.”“I’m prepared.”“Okay.”Eli could feel his heart hammering in his neck, the flighty feeling of his heart in his chest… but this was it. Now or never. Thrawn wanted it – he wanted him. Nerves and all.“No,” Eli said suddenly. “Not like this.”Thrawn picked up his head quickly as Eli stumbled out of bed.“If I’m in charge, then I’m doing this my way,” he explained, grabbing a small gerber from his desk drawer. And not caring what Thrawn had to say about it, he began cutting away at the cords he’d tied around Thrawn’s wrists.“I know you said you’d wanted nothing more than be powerless but… I just can’t,” Eli said, cutting lose all the cord. “I’d… if you really want me to do this…”Eli trailed off, not knowing how to put into words I want to be doing this, not just some persona I got by growing out some facial hair. But he just settled with the awkwardness of trailing off.“As you wish,” Thrawn said, settling on the bed but still laying face down, still glancing over his shoulder. Eli returned his hands to where they were – fingers lightly caressing the slightly purpled skin on the Chiss’s ass. Feeling the subtle tensing of the muscles. Muscles that were tightening in anticipation.“Flip over,” Eli whispered, coaxing the Chiss with gentle touches, gasping softly at how magnificently large Thrawn managed to remain.“I want to see your face,” Eli whispered, licking that cock and glancing up at Thrawn through his eyelashes. “You’re so good at pleasuring me…” he made sure his stubbly chin was making contact with as much skin as possible. “… I want to see what I can do to you.”Eli glanced up. Thrawn was panting in expectation, his face nearly entirely that beautiful, susceptible lilac color his skin would get when he was at his most exposed. He moaned softly, letting his head roll back against the pillow. Eli’d lost most of the lubrication from his hand by trying to get the cords cut free, so that’d be the first thing to fix.He grabbed the lube, squeezing out probably half the bottle in his nerves, cursed himself under his breath because that would just mean having to sneak off to find another sex shop while on leave or mission, and those were some of the worse shopping trips he could ever remember. Either he’d try to ditch Thrawn in an art gallery of one kind or another (which never worked), or try to keep Thrawn from picking up every single object in the store and blush his way through a lot of explanations…Eli sighed.His mind was drifting on purpose. He was so nervous, he was trying to avoid this altogether. Which wasn’t fair to Thrawn.“Where were we?” Eli said, trying to put a purr in his voice but still coming out with that slight tinge of embarrassment.“You were about to penetrate me,” Thrawn said, his hips bouncing softly in a pleading manner, his matter of fact statement making Eli huff in anticipation. There was something dead sexy about his blunt statements.Eli pulled his head back. He wanted to see this. He slid his fingers down, settling the tip of his index finger on Thrawn’s entrance, feeling the muscle under his touch tighten under the pressure. Thrawn really was sensitive. He would have to be slow… gentle.Eli rolled his finger over the spot, back and forth. He gasped under his breath as he heard Thrawn moaning pleadingly, his words incomprehensible with his whimpers. His hips were quivering, weak, desperate writhing, as though trying to push Eli in. But Eli was waiting, holding back, until he felt the muscles relax.And then he pushed the tip of his finger in.Thrawn gasped, far louder than Eli would have expected, and he found himself breathless as well. They were going to be heard on every corner of this ship if Thrawn was getting loud already.Eli settled his lips on the base of Thrawn’s cock, keeping his eyes fixated on the Chiss, who was writhing in the torment of pleasure.He’d barely even gotten an inch worth of finger inside when he paused, twisting his hand slowly, urging the muscles and skin to stretch. Thrawn arched his back, his moans turning throatier. Eli grinned, kissing his trembling cock delicately.Eli continued to push in, the lubrication making it absolutely effortless, pausing time and time again to twist his hand until he was all the way in.Just as slowly as he’d come in, he drew his finger out, bit by bit, letting Thrawn savor the feeling. And then, once again, a slow push in.“Please, Eli,” Thrawn begged after the fourth iteration, the quacking of his hips becoming stronger thrusts, desperate to force more of Eli into him. “I can’t wait.”“You be patient,” Eli scolded, licking his cock hard.He was still searching, after all. Now as he drew his finger out each time, he pushed hard against the inside of Thrawn’s hole, all while twisting his hand. Until Thrawn let out a cry, and Eli could feel the Chiss’s entire body stiffen.Eli grinned, using the opportunity to take all of Thrawn’s dick in his mouth, humming loudly and letting the vibrations of his mouth pleasure his love. Then again, Thrawn had more things on his mind at the moment.Eli rolled the tip of his finger over the prostrate he’d found, bouncing vigorously over the top of it. Thrawn was mumbling through a string of words Eli couldn’t even begin to decipher. He didn’t need to. The way Thrawn’s body reacted to him was better than words.“You’re ready for more then, I take it?” Eli asked, after drawing his head back and letting Thrawn’s dick slip out of his mouth.“Eli,” Thrawn mumbled, his hands tightening around the sheets. “Yes.”Eli grinned, delighted to see Thrawn in such a mess by what he was doing. Without wanting to wait to see how much worse of a state he would get, Eli slipped in the second finger.(art by hazel inle - http://hazel-inle.tumblr.com/ ) ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Thrawn arched his back at the penetration, leaning his head far back as a throaty moan escaped his lips. Eli was slow – he’d known from past experiences from less than tender lovers that he had to take his time. But Thrawn was less than patient.“Please, Eli…” Thrawn moaned.Eli smiled, “You wait,” he ordered. “Trust me.”“I’m ready now. You’ve done enough, I’m ready.”Eli frowned. “Thrawn, I… I’m a little bit bigger than two fingers, I-”But Thrawn really was impatient. He sat up, grabbing Eli roughly around the neck, pulling him close for a kiss. Eli’s eyes shot open as he felt Thrawn forcing his tongue deeply into his mouth and his hips working the fingers all on his own. Damn the Chiss was horny. “Please, Eli,” Thrawn moaned, biting onto his human’s lip. “I want you. I need you. Now.”“No kidding,” Eli said, feeling his face growing warmer by the minute.“Then why do you hesitate?” Thrawn whispered, drawing away slightly to settle his glowing eyes on Eli’s. Then a slight head tilt. The admonishing kind. The kind that drove Eli wild. “You have been overlooking yourself. How bad have I been to neglect your needs for preparation.”“Oh, stars, yes,” Eli whispered, picking up on what Thrawn was insinuating. “Very bad.”There was a momentary awkward tangle of bodies – awkward ringing loudest in Eli’s mind – as they rearranged themselves, the move interspersed with groping hands and entangled limbs. Eli, of course, remaining on top, fighting his desire to be on bottom… to have Thrawn’s weight on top of him, to delight in things being done to him, not-Eli chased the thoughts out of his head. Not now. Not now. Not now.Eli gasped out as Thrawn eagerly took him into his mouth. All of it. And from this angle? The sensation was incredible.“staaars,” Eli moaned, returning the favor, bobbing his head fiercely. And since he was on his knees and elbows, he had the perfect leverage in his control to fuck Thrawn’s mouth. Thrawn took it. Eli’s chest heaved with each breath, completely lost in the moment. And then Thrawn pulled away, turned out of the way.“What-“ Eli said. What happened? What went wrong? Was it too much? Too deep?“Eli,” Thrawn whispered. “My ass.”Eli nearly orgasmed right then and there. He said what?! Eli felt his face grow hotter in both arousal and second-hand embarrassment, and could only stammer a bewildered “right,” in response. He said what?! But Eli didn’t want to keep Thrawn waiting.He relubricated his fingers once again – the fear of hurting Thrawn and ruining his first time still uppermost in his mind – but Thrawn was greedy. His body accepted Eli’s penetration without any resistance at all. Eli pushed his fingers in as far as they would go, losing his breath at how it felt – the muscles tightening around his fingers, the warmth… and imagined how much nicer it would feel for those sensations to be around his dick…He twisted his wrist, slowly, delicately, Thrawn moaning appreciatively – the sensation of two fingers twisting inside of him would feel worlds different than the one. Eli grinned, resting his stubbly face into Thrawn’s thigh, watching the muscles of his Chiss lover tighten around him, his blue cock trembling erect next to his face.Eli grinned, drawing out his fingers ever so slightly, until he found the prostrate again. And with both finger tips, he drummed over the spot with as much force as he could leverage. Thrawn would have certainly been louder if his voice wasn’t currently being muffled by Eli’s cock. “Almost there,” Eli promised, drawing out his fingers and sliding them back in again. Yes… he was ready. At least he seemed ready.Eli kept his eyes on Thrawn’s entrance, entranced with the spectacle… watching his fingers sliding in and out… he began to pick up the pace, until the only sounds in the room was the rhythmic slap of his hand pumping into Thrawn with increasing speed, and the Chiss’s own muffled screams of pleasure.Eli paused, resting his finger tips once more over the prostrate, feeling the ripple of muscles underneath him as a different wave of sensation took over his Chiss.“I think you’re ready,” Eli purred, glancing over at Thrawn’s unattended cock – trembling with desire and dripping with precum.Thrawn’s eagerness to press on was so immediate it nearly made Eli laugh. Before Eli had so much as lifted his body weight off of Thrawn, the Chiss rolled over. Eli reached out to grab Thrawn’s shoulder, forcing him back onto his back.“No…” Eli whispered. “Like this, darling. At least at first. I want to see your face.”Thrawn smiled, the expression quickly melting as he watched Eli prepare. Eli pretty much killed the rest of the lubricant, mentally cursing himself for being so damn cautious. Thrawn sat up, grabbing Eli’s dick in his hand. Eli moaned, leaning his head back as Thrawn made sure he was well coated.“Thrawn…” Eli moaned. Thrawn only smiled back, pecking Eli’s cheek with a quick kiss, which turned into a nuzzle, Thrawn rubbing the side of his face into Eli’s stubble.“I believe you are ready,” Thrawn whispered into Eli’s ear.“Yeah,” Eli agreed, his face growing warmer as Thrawn’s hands drew away. This was it. Now or never.Thrawn settled himself back down on the bed as Eli coaxed his legs to widen. This was it.Nerves threatened once again to halt him in his path. It was hard not to be nervous. Eli guided his dick right to Thrawn’s entrance, pausing for a moment. This would be his first time, too. First time on top. First time he’d been trusted to do this… and with Thrawn no less.“I trust you, Eli,” Thrawn whispered.Eli blushed. Thrawn knew him all too well.“Thanks,” Eli muttered, looking back up at those glowing red eyes. Trust and love and admiration and who knew what else was glittering behind them.Without another word, Eli pressed the tip of his cock into Thrawn. They gasped in unison, Eli too overwhelmed with the sensation to laugh over their shared reaction.Eli pressed more in, surprised with how wonderful it felt. The crushing, smothering pressure, absolutely enveloping him, the warmth, a slight suction as though Thrawn’s own body was pulling him in. Thrawn was helpless beneath him, glowing eyes electrified, fixated on him.“I’m in,” Eli announced once he was fully inside.“You certainly are,” Thrawn said, Eli finding his voice adorably strained. Still wanting to annunciate his answers in his uniquely-Thrawn way was a lot more difficult with a dick inside him. Eli couldn’t help himself.“And how does it feel?” Eli drew himself out part way and then trust forward as hard as he could. The action caught Thrawn by surprise, and he arched his back again, his head thrown back, his neck beautifully taut.But the Chiss didn’t answer him, and Eli repeated the thrust. And again.“How does it feel?” Eli asked, picking up a good rhythm, trying to toe the line between gentleness and-“Harder, Eli,” Thrawn moaned.“Harder!” “Faster.”Eli coughed out a laugh of disbelief. This damn Chiss…. (art by koba - https://badkoba.tumblr.com/ )“Alright,” Eli purred, leaning over Thrawn, praying his stamina could hold up long enough to pleasure him. As it turned out, neither would last for very long. Eli could barely hold out. The sensations were new and exciting but almost nothing compared to the sounds he was eliciting from Thrawn. The spell he’d managed to put over him was nearly more erotic than what he was doing. His hands gripping the sheets in desperate fists only dissipated some of his torment for a moment.Eli reached down and wrapped a free hand around Thrawn’s dick, trying to pump it in time with his own thrusts and quickly failing. Not that it seemed like Thrawn minded at all. If anything, his vocalizations reached a new level of expression.“Oh, stars, Thrawn,” Eli moaned, feeling himself getting closer to climax. Thrawn could sense it too – they were building off one another. Eli got harder in anticipation, which Thrawn responded to by tightening down around him.Eli leaned forward, laying on top of Thrawn’s chest, deciding the time had come to finish him off with some scruff rubs. Thrawn met him half way, their kisses sloppy and uncoordinated. Eli could feel Thrawn tightening around him again once his cheeks managed to touch Thrawn’s skin. Thrawn’s hands were wrapping around him, fingers raking across his back.Oh yeah, Thrawn was losing his mind.Eli tried to adjust his thrusts – as best as he could, he wanted to keep the tip of his dick rolling over Thrawn’s prostate. It wasn’t the time for deep thrusts any longer… just torturous amount of stimulation.And Thrawn responded by calling out a string of words Eli couldn’t decipher. Oh, he was close. So close. He could feel his own dick pulsating with pleasure, painfully thick… engorged with blood.“Th-th-thrawn,” Eli stumbled over his lover’s name.Thrawn’s hands had found both of Eli’s nipples.“Stars, Thrawn,” Eli gasped in shock. Thrawn gave them a squeeze, and that was it. It was all Eli could take. Before he could so much as warn Thrawn, he was cumming. He moaned heartily, his back riding the last few thrusts into Thrawn.He barely even noticed that Thrawn had climaxed as well until he felt the sticky warm substance on his stomach and wondered how it got there.In an exhausted slump, Eli collapsed onto the bed. Face down, face buried into a pillow.“Eli, my dear,” Thrawn whispered, nuzzling into his ear, kissing him on his burning cheek. “You did wonderful.”“thankuyuou” Eli mumbled into the pillow, his hips quivering in exhaustion.Eli was dully aware that Thrawn had gotten out of bed, but a moment later, and he felt a playful slap on his ass.“What?” Eli said, raising his head drowsily.“You haven’t forgotten, have you?” Thrawn asked, pulling on his undershirt. “You still have to sign back in from leave. You’ll be in trouble.”“Damn,” Eli moaned, letting his face fall back into the pillow. “How bad is it to be AWOL?”“Loss of rank, loss of pay, you’ll have to spend some time in jail, now please, Eli,” Thrawn said, tugging at Eli’s unwilling body. “At least get dressed and shave.”“Shave…” Eli said regrettably. “Guess it was fun while it lasted.”“Yes,” Thrawn said.Eli stumbled into the bathroom, naked and highly disoriented. He was pretty sure he got more shaving cream on the sink than on his face before Thrawn appeared next to him.“May I assist?” Thrawn asked.“No, I have an idea,” Eli said, his eyes suddenly sparkling. “It’s a surprise, though.”At least the “surprise” kept Eli focused enough that he was able to shave without seriously carving up his face. And when he was done shaving, he looked at his reflection. He grinned, feeling both stupid and highly, highly risqué at the same time.“You ready?” he called out from the bathroom.“I am,” Thrawn said, no level of aloofness could hide his innate curiosity.Eli stepped out of the bathroom, not knowing whether he should be laughing at himself. He felt silly. But the way Thrawn’s eyes lit up in understanding? Worth it.“Eli,” Thrawn said, shaking his head a little in playful scolding.Eli had shaved his face, leaving nothing except for a mustache.“What am I going to do with you?” Thrawn asked, drawing him in for a kiss.“We’ll find out.” (art by commander - https://commanderzoer.tumblr.com/ )
11237493	Another One For The Fire	{ "Archive Warning": null, "Category": null, "Characters": "Bellamy Blake, Clarke Griffin, Raven Reyes, John Murphy (The 100), Finn Collins, Jasper Jordan, Monty Green, Harper McIntyre, Wells Jaha, Thelonious Jaha, Echo (The 100), A.L.I.E. (The 100)", "Fandom": "The 100 (TV)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Mature", "author": "by Kiki023", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-18T00:00:00", "words": "17,985", "Additional Tags": "Wild West, Cowboys & Cowgirls, Nature, philosophizing in the desert", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Bellamy Blake/A.L.I.E., Bellamy Blake/Thelonious Jaha", "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": "Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death", "Categories": "F/M, Gen", "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Dusted boots thudded across a desert landscape. In the unflinching heat of the sun’s gaze a cowboy, decked in faded denim trousers and a torn tartan shirt, dragged his feet through dirt and rock. In the distance, a vulture flew swiftly across blue seas of sky, soaring across a grand arc that dipped and rose in one smooth streak of flight. The cowboy paused to take a breath, warm air filling his lungs. His shirt was damp and stuck to his chest and the sun beat painfully upon the side of his face. He leaned against the side of a large rock that itself rested upon the edge of a stony hillock that molded with other mounds of rock that extended far off to his right. The cowboy watched the vulture sweep across the sky and its jet-black plumage stood in stark contrast to the wisps of cirrus cloud that hung in the sky like props suspended above a stage. It tore through the sultry air, its elevation dipping until it seemed almost absorbed into the line of the horizon that shimmered and morphed into dry earth. The cowboy huffed and pressed on towards that spectral visage far in the distance, his hat low on his face. Dirt turned to sand and the rocky beacons that had marked his path passed him by until it seemed that he himself had been swallowed up into an abyss of endless sand. He thought of nothing, felt nothing but the heat on his back and the sweat that dripped and clung to him. It was a long while before he was forced to stop again, halting before a dried well rooted firmly in the desert ground. He became aware of his thirst and peered down into the depths of the well. There was water far below but he could not reach it, the bucket that would act as receptacle having been torn from the rope attached to the top of the well. He heaved a long sigh and sat down against it. He did not move. He waited. It was not until the sun had begun to lower itself below the dividing line of the sky that he saw the first hazy image begin to manifest itself in the distance. The cowboy squinted, attempting to clear his tired vision and see beyond the blinding light amplified by the white-hot sand that acted as its own willing receiver. Gradually the shapes in the distance acquired form and boundaries. It was a wagon, dragged dutifully by a single brown horse and upon this wagon sat two men. The cowboy tensed as they neared him, his fingers clenching into fists. Weakened by his exhaustion and the thirst that clawed at the back of his throat he found that the strength he had once been able to summon almost at will had now left him defenseless and alone. He waited with bated breath as the wagon turned and came to halt before him. One of the men leaned down and examined him closely. He wore a light white shirt that ended at his elbows and upon his head rested peculiarly large glasses. “How do?” he asked and broke into a wide smile. The cowboy did not respond, merely drinking in the appearance of the smiling man and the large wooden wagon that had appeared so suddenly as if by some divine machination. The cowboy stared at the man. “Can ye talk?” the smiling man asked again. “Are you mute?” The cowboy opened his mouth to speak but no sound reached past his throat. He swallowed and tried again. “Who are you?” he asked. The smile on the wagon man grew even wider and he slapped his knee and laughed. “So you can speak! Say, what’s your name mister?” The cowboy stared and the wagon man reversed himself, seeming to tumble over the words that poured from his mouth. “Right, right, my apologies. My name’s Jasper. Jasper Jordan. This here’s Monty Green,” he motioned to the smaller man seated beside him, “we’re out from Arkadia. Ye been there? You look like the usual esteemed inhabitant.” The cowboy said nothing.“Right, anyway, we been out lookin’ for silver. Ye know about that, don’t you? That why ye out here? I’ll tell ye, those mines out there been scoured to shit. Ain’t a thing left out there.” “You’re scavengers,” the cowboy said, noticing for the first time bags piled high behind the two men. “We prefer collectors, if ye don’t mind,” Jasper smiled. “Now what’s a fella such as yourself doing all the way out here? Mighty far from Arkadia.” The cowboy shrugged. He looked past them at the desert floor that stretched far beyond them. He shook his head slowly, as if upon it balanced a great weight. Jasper was quiet for a moment, looking down upon the cowboy like one looks at a circus curiosity. Then his eyes brightened and his jovial intonation were carried by the whispering wind of the desert. “Say, why don’t ye come ride with us? We’re headed back into town now.”“Jasper,” his companion cautioned. “Aw, it’s alright,” Jasper brushed him aside, “ain’t it – uh, what didya say yer name was?” The cowboy ignored him, gathering himself up and standing pointedly beside the wagon until Jasper made way for him. The cowboy clambered atop the wagon and sat stock still beside Jasper as he took the reins of the horse and lashed them forward. The horse strained under the added weight but soon found its rhythm and the three of them were traveling across the desert. “It’s a good thing we found ye when we did, otherwise ye mighta been…” Jasper made a cutthroat motion with his fingers. The cowboy stared ahead and said nothing. Jasper fell into a kind of entranced silence as he focused upon the horse and the path they took through the desert. There were no landmarks, no beacons of manmade artificiality, no structure but far-away scarlet plateaus and monadnocks risen powerfully under nature’s watchful protection. The three of them did not speak to one another, the cowboy sat tensed in his seat, his leg brushed by the occasional and erratic jerking of Jasper’s own. The other, Monty, sat almost as still as he, guardedly watching the surrounding scenery as if expecting a native army to spring out and ambush them. Time passed and the cowboy found himself beginning to doze. He willed himself to alertness. The possibility of a trap had not left his mind entirely. Sand was passed and clouds dissipated and the sun completed its journey below the horizon and the first of distant suns had begun to twinkle in the twilight when the cowboy spotted the lights of Arkadia below the high vantage point they occupied. Together they descended into the town. A single wide dirt road bisected Arkadia. To his right the cowboy took in the sight of the post office, a hotel, and a saloon; on the left stood a smithy that contained a blacksmith’s forge, a stable for horses, the sheriff’s office, and a collection of tents positioned in a grassy field on the far edge of town. The wagon creaked and the horse neighed as they passed the fast fading signpost stuck squarely into the dirt before the town that announced their entry. In blotched white paint it read: Arkadia. The wagon came to a halt in front of the saloon and for a moment all was still in the dusk of town. Then Jasper dropped the reigns and hooted merrily, rising up and stretching his arms behind his head. “It’s good to be back,” he let out an exaggerated yawn and stepped over Monty, who leaned back in annoyance as Jasper pushed his way over the side of the wagon. “I could do with a drink,” Jasper eyed the others and pointed at the two occupants of the wagon. “Looks like we all could.” Monty sighed and stepped out of the wagon, taking one of the reigns and pulling the horse towards the stable. “We can start unloading this stuff tomorrow,” he said, nodding his head towards the bags in the wagon that swayed to the movements of the horse. Jasper gave a short nod in the affirmative, “Leave the wagon somewhere no one will see.” Monty gave no indication of having heard and moved across the road to the stable. The cowboy turned away from them and made his way towards the hotel, whose lantern lights shone brightly out of tarped windows and the open doorway, giving life to a kaleidoscope of moving shapes and dancing shadows that spilled into the rapidly darkening streets. He felt an arm wrap around his shoulder before he could make it to the wooden stairs that marked the entrance. “Whaddya say ye ‘n I get a drink?” The cowboy looked deep into the soulful gaze of Jasper Jordan, whose wide eyes, upturned lips and unperturbed expression betrayed no hint of malice. He said nothing as Jasper turned them and led him back towards the saloon. “Don’t worry,” he said, “People around here don’t mind newcomers.” The cowboy grit his teeth as he was led through the entrance of the saloon and into a wide barroom, dimly lit by the occasional lantern hung along the walls. The room was divided into the bar at which sat patrons nursing their drinks and a larger space comprised of tables, some of which were pushed to the walls and others positioned on the center floor. The saloon was fairly crowded, the tables filled to capacity and the bar leaving nary a space for the enterprising initiate. Jasper guided them to the bar, squeezing in between disgruntled regulars who grumbled and grunted as the two men took their places atop their respective stools. Jasper waved to someone down the bar but the cowboy stared ahead, unwilling and unseeing. A continuous hum of conversation filled the room and wafted over the bar, enveloping them in the comfortable sound of their fellow man and his unceasing disposition towards the spoken word. A voice sounded from down the bar. “Jasper! I thought you weren’t getting back until tomorrow.” “I know it, but we struck nothing but sand out there. It’s all dried up.” A woman came to them from behind the bar, leaning across the wooden divider and staring first at Jasper, then the cowboy. Her black hair, brown eyes and tanned skin jolted something within the cowboy and he pulled himself away, returning his gaze to the row of drinks placed proudly behind the bar. “Who’s your friend here?” she nodded towards the cowboy. “Monty ‘n me found him in the desert sittin’ all by his lonesome. Didn’t have the heart to leave him out there.” “Huh,” she slid in front of the cowboy so that he could do nothing but return her stare. “What’s your name?” The cowboy did not answer. The woman looked at him for a few moments before smiling. “Man of few words, huh?” she asked. He shrugged and she laughed. “Get you a drink?” she asked. The man motioned towards the whisky and she began pouring the liquor into a glass. “Save some of that for me, Raven. Been dyin’ for a drink,” Jasper called. “You’re always dying for a drink,” Raven responded before sliding the glass to the cowboy. “This one’s on the house,” she winked.“Hey! That’s not fair,” Jasper protested. “I found him.” “Shhh,” Raven soothed, sliding another glass to Jasper. “Drink up boys.” The cowboy raised the glass and felt the coolness of drink touch his lips. He sighed and downed the glass in a straight shot. He pushed the glass to Raven. “Another.” “This one’s gonna cost you,” she warned. He nodded and she poured. “Where is everyone?” he heard Jasper ask. “Ain’t they usually around this time?” The cowboy tuned out. The dull hum of conversation becoming a swirling mass of white noise that filtered through his ears, incapable of penetrating the barrier of his consciousness. He took another swig and downed his glass. The liquid burned his throat and though in him there lingered a desire for the refreshing texture of cool water he found a ferocity growing within him that demanded more drink. His hand began to shake and he gripped the glass with fingers that tightened until they were white. He swallowed heavily and rubbed his other hand over the top of the bar, feeling displaced wood shavings tickle his palm. He remained seated on that stool, gripping his glass and running his hand over the bar-top until finally he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned his head to Jasper, who stood beside him and gestured wildly at something on the other side of the room. It took him a moment to realize the boy was speaking. “ – you to some friends?” “What?”“I said can I introduce you to some friends?” “Why?” Jasper gave him a puzzled look. “Why what?” “Why would I want you to do that?” Jasper nodded and leaned in close, as if he were sharing some profound secret that only he was privy to. “You, my desert wandering friend, are an object of interest.” “A what?” “You’re curious, that’s all. C’mon! I said I’d come back with somethin’ good and you’re all I got.” The cowboy considered this. “Buy me a drink.” “Huh?”“Buy me a drink and I’ll go meet your friends.” Jasper broke out into a wide smile. “Alright! Alright!” he called to Raven. “Pour this here man a drink! On me!” he bellowed and Raven simply smiled and poured another whisky. After he had sucked the last drop out of the glass he turned towards Jasper who directed him to a collection of tables pushed together at the back of the saloon. Around it was gathered an assortment of individuals – too many for him to get a proper grasp on and for a moment he felt something foreign fluttering in his chest, a testament to what remained of a time long ago and far beyond the annals of immediate memory. Jasper pushed him into a seat at the head of the table and he sat facing the group that now examined him as if he were a shipwrecked castaway washed up on some foreign shore. A man with a healthy head of brown hair that dropped down to his ears and even further down his neck, a colored man who glanced at him above the rim of his drink with suspect eyes, a girl with dirty blonde hair and a thin face and another girl whose face he lingered on, blonde with an exotic hint of red coloring the tips of her curved and almost frizzled hair, a film of blue iris that surrounded pupils staring into his own and he looked away from their expectant expressions, his chest constricting and the sweat beginning to play out on his face. “Who’s your friend?” the man with brown haired asked Jasper, a smirk resting on his face. “Found him in the desert,” Jasper said, pulling a chair up to the table. “He doesn’t talk much,” he turned to the cowboy and began to list names, pointing as he did so. Finn. Wells. Harper. Clarke. He looked at them all and gave an imperceptible nod as his eyes met their own. He could see out of the corner of his vision that Clarke did not turn from him as the others did and did not return to her drink as they. He lifted his eyes to meet her own. She smiled at him. "What’s your name?” she asked. “Bellamy.” Jasper looked at him in surprise. “Bellamy,” he tasted the name on his tongue. “What’s that? Mexican?” Bellamy huffed and stared hard at the tabletop, as if he could poke holes with the sheer force of his staring. “What are you doing out here, Bellamy?” Clarke asked. Bellamy took his time before responding, carefully weighing the possible outcomes of each response. “Dunno,” he shrugged.“C’mon,” Finn spoke up, placing his now emptied glass down upon the table. “You’ve got to give us more than that.”“I don’t know why I’m here,” Bellamy said, his voice hardened and firm and the light and easy atmosphere that hung around them soured. Clarke kept her eyes trained on him and he could feel her watching and he shifted under the attention until she finally looked away. The talk amongst the table continued for a long while and nobody bothered him. He sat in the slowly dying hum of the saloon until it was only they and the bartender who remained. Raven hopped over the bar and came to them bearing drink. She set down a glass of scotch upon the table and looked at Bellamy.“You drink this?” she questioned.“Anything,” he replied and she grinned. Bellamy watched them clink their glasses together and pour the liquor down their throats. He touched the glass to his lips and sipped at the drink. His appetite for intoxication had lessened considerably despite the in-group discussion that had somehow imposed itself upon him. He felt a deep tiredness setting upon him, settling into his bones and weighing down on his eyelids. He fought to stay awake and knew he would not last much longer. The hour grew late and he grew more tired until no longer could he stand it despite the seemingly limitless supply of energy the group at the table seemed capable of expending. He backed away from the table and stood up and the rest of them turned their eyes to him. He faltered for a moment, his eyes sweeping across the table at them all. He avoided Clarke. “Thanks,” he said. “I’ll be going now.” A chorus of voices rose in opposition. “We’re just getting started!”“You sure, man?” “Have one more drink.” He was stunned at their determination to keep him. His eyes found Clarke and he saw her smile widen in the dimness of the saloon but he turned away and said to the others, “I thank you. But it’s time for me to retire.” They let him go without further protest and he stepped out into the coolness of the twinkling air. The lights of the saloon and the hotel had dimmed and the shadows that had once roamed freely across the dusty street of Arkadia were reduced to dying embers like coals sizzling atop a fire. He stepped off the wooden stairs and found himself alone in the street. He moved towards the hotel, feeling around in his ripped pockets for the rusted coins he had made a point to secure snugly within. He groaned in frustration when his hand met nothing but denim and lint. Bellamy paused before the entrance to the hotel and looked helplessly about him. It would be another night in the sand. A shuffling came out of the night. A shadowed figure emerging from the alley between the saloon and the hotel, stumbling and slipping in the dust. A muted wheezing, like a long and low snore came from the apparition now making its determined way to him. Bellamy ground his boots into the dust and prepared to make contact. The figure halted, swaying on its feet, and Bellamy could see that it was a man, having caught a streak of light emanating from the hotel window. The man was caked in dirt and a thick strand of hair fell over his right eye, he had a prominent nose and his lips moved though no sound emerged from his straining throat. Bellamy backed away and the man swung forward, almost toppling on his front. His hands found and gripped Bellamy’s shirt and he could smell the alcohol on the man’s face. “nnnbydrin’?” the man slurred and stumbled forward, pushing Bellamy back so that he was forced to prop the man up. “Buy me a drink,” the man managed to splutter and Bellamy shoved him away so that he fell on his hindquarters, sand kicking up and spreading around him. The man began to pat the ground and pull his legs in, before kicking them out again. Back and forth he did this and Bellamy watched with a mixture of annoyance and disgust. He raised a fist and moved towards the man. A voice called out, commanding in the quiet night. “Stop.” Bellamy turned and behind him another figure came, taller and enshrouded in the deprivation of light that marked the town’s other half. A man who was at once enhanced and diminished by the darkness that encompassed his features. “What’s the trouble, gentlemen?” he spoke, voice resounding and the air cut by its thickness. Bellamy merely looked at the drunken fool slouched on the ground. “He means you no harm,” the man said, stepping out of the shadows. A dark man, tall, broad shouldered. He held out his hand. “I am Thelonious. And you?” Bellamy observed the man and made no move to reach for his hand. Thelonious smiled, a slight upwards curve of the mouth. He turned to the man gibbering on the ground. “And how are you tonight, Mister Murphy?” The drunken man spouted off a curse at them and mumbled at the dirt. “I see you’ve had a bit too much alcohol tonight, is that right?” Thelonious spoke with the calm air of authority befitting that of a teacher to his pupil, or a father to his son. He nodded, as if he had confirmed something for himself and looked at up at the night sky, eyes closed and grinning, the golden gleam of his metallic teeth matching those of the stars that glittered high above them. “A wonderful night. Wouldn’t you say so?” he breathed and Bellamy looked away, as if he had dared to look into the brilliant core of the sun at high noon and had been blinded by its power. Murphy attempted to stand and fell down on his back. “Ah,” Thelonious said and his smile dimmed but only just. He eyed Murphy with a measure of paternal amusement and gentle disdain. “A man who has wandered much and suffered much has pleasure out of his sorrows, yes?” He turned to Bellamy and this time the cowboy did not look away. He looked into the eyes of the man who towered above man drunken and not and did not notice when Thelonious produced two silver coins until they were held out to him upon a servile palm. Bellamy inspected them with a skeptical countenance, unsure and uncertain of what it was that was being presented until Thelonious gripped his arm and forced the coins into his hand. “Humilitas occidit superbiam,” he said and tightened his hold on Bellamy’s hand, squeezing once and then evaporating into the darkness of the town, the only evidence of his presence being the footprints ground into the dirt road and the thin outline of his shadow melding into the thick blackness of the night. Bellamy spared Murphy one last passing glance and made his way into the hotel, placing the silver coins on the counter and sliding them towards the short stubby man who stood behind it. The man pulled out a ledger and Bellamy signed his name. The man lifted the keys to his room from the collection strung up on the wall and handed them to Bellamy. “You’re second on the right. Just up those stairs there.” Bellamy nodded and mounted the steps that creaked under the weight of his grime-coated boots and entered a narrow hallway that ended in an ignominious bare wall with no window nor decoration. He opened the door to his room and a musty smell hit him at once. He waved away the air, allowing it to flow out into the hall and stepped inside. There was a mattress, a table upon which a lantern was placed, a chair and a window covered in brown tarp. He shut the door behind him, kicked off his boots, and fell flat onto the mattress. He lay there. He did not move. He did not think and in the receding haze of waking life he saw nothing but the bareness of the room in which he now lay and he was at once repelled and attracted to the stolid fixture of its arrangement, consumed by the placement of chair and table and window and in the luminescence of the lantern that flickered and died in the way that all things do like a raven that sails over the rushing wind and air and that mysterious attractor that it must struggle against for the duration of its short and solitary life and in all of this he could see the menace of mundanity that rests and lies in wait within worldly corners obliterated by the bareness of their being; in the sooty corner of a hotel room or the dusted tables fixed to the floor of a saloon or in the great towering shiprocks that rose up from the desert floor as if the land itself had pushed up some inescapable and eternal reminder of itself, a swooning marker and declaration of its own perverse instantiation upon the horizons of the world. When he drifted to sleep he did not dream. Awakening to dull beams of light that filtered through the tarp of his window, Bellamy raised himself from the mattress and shuffled to his feet. He blinked, bleary eyed and groggy. He sniffed and became aware of himself in a way that he had not been before. Summoning the doorman below, he requested a tub and mirror and was obliged after a healthy delay. Positioning the tub in the center of the room, he lowered himself into the warm water and sighed, leaning his head against the cool metal and closing his eyes. Patterns of light floated in darkness and he sighed contentedly. Rubbing himself with a bar of soap he cleaned himself thoroughly and when he lifted the mirror to inspect himself his face was not a mystery to him and for this, at least, he was grateful. He dipped his clothes in the tub and scrubbed them, watching as streaks of mud and dirt detached themselves from his clothing and seeped into the tub. It was not ideal, but it was serviceable. He tossed them strategically onto the mattress where a streak of light hit the bedding and he waited, allowing them to sit there and drifting away in lazy inertia. Hours passed and when the restlessness within him had grown too strong to resist he lifted himself from the tub and donned the damp clothing. He emerged from the room without purpose or direction, descending the stairs and exiting the hotel, the doorman grunting shortly in greeting. When he stepped outside the harsh light of the sun hit him and he lowered his hat on his head. Some wagons passed and people sat in front of buildings on chairs pulled out on the wooden boards that spanned the length of the town in either direction. Bellamy strolled towards the saloon, intending to nick a drink off the bartender or at least make a good attempt at one. Instead, he was greeted by the sight of two of the girls from the previous night seated in chairs by the saloon. Clarke and Harper, he recalled with a vivid recollection of Jasper’s drunken shouting. They noticed him and Clarke smiled and waved. “Howdy stranger,” she greeted. Harper smiled and he nodded to them. “Bar open?” he asked. Clarke shook her head sadly. “’fraid not. Ain’t open ‘till seven.” He paused uncertainly. “That late?” Clarke laughed. “You in a hurry or something?” “Just never heard of a bar that opened at seven,” he retorted and she laughed again. “Well, we do things a little different around here,” she said good naturedly and he aimlessly kicked the dirt at his feet, preparing to turn away. “Hold on,” Clarke said and he paused despite himself. She peered at him and the glow in her eyes did not escape his notice. “I didn’t get to hear much about you last night.” Bellamy shrugged and she tilted her head in amusement. “Where do you come from, Bellamy?” He marveled at her memory and opened his mouth to answer when a wagon pulled up and came to a halt beside the saloon. Jasper stepped down and slapped Bellamy affably on the shoulder, he looked at the girls and grinned. “Monty ‘n me are about to head out again, thought I’d come by and deliver a proper goodbye,” he said, bowing theatrically. “You’ll only be gone for some hours,” Clarke noted.Jasper clutched at his heart. “Don’t say you won’t miss us.” “Where's Monty?” Harper asked. Jasper shot her a knowing smile. “He’s out front getting water for the horses, I’m sure he’ll be around soon.” He turned to Bellamy. “What about you, partner? You wanna join us? We can always use an extra hand.” Bellamy looked out at the heated tracts of land that curled out into ever more distant sands and shook his head. “Well,” Jasper patted him on the shoulder again, “Suit yourself.” He nodded at them once more, hopped into his wagon, and led the horse towards Arkadia’s limits. They watched him go, halting the wagon as he reached the edge of town and waiting for Monty to return with water. “Where do they go?” Bellamy heard himself ask. “They go looking for anything they can get their hands on, really. Silver too,” Clarke replied.“Silver?”“Railroad’s passed a lot of towns dying. Arkadia too. We need what we can get, so they go out searching the old mines.”Bellamy nodded. Whatever flame of curiosity had been lit by Jasper’s appearance had been tamped down and an impatience began to rear within him. This place is dead, he thought. Dying. Soon there would be nothing left and it would return to the dust from which it sprung, having secured for itself an aberrational existence upon infinite sands. Swallowed up in an angry chasm that gave no quarter and offered nothing of itself to those who deigned to stamp themselves upon the earth. In all the worlds to come they would share no underlying thing but their own decay. They had carved out a grave in space. He looked at Clarke and Harper and felt nothing but a twinge of envy and resentment. How easy it must be to somnambulate towards death. The entrance to the saloon burst open and Raven ambled out, taking in the great heat of the day with a smile and sigh. She inspected those gathered around her door. “We having a party out here?” “Just catching up with our new friend,” Clarke responded and winked at him. “Well, how about you catch up inside? It’s mighty hot out here.” They made to go inside, leaving their chairs and entering the saloon. Bellamy stood unmoving, staring at the gaping murky hole that marked the unlit spaces of the saloon’s inner sanctum. He backed away. “You coming?” Raven called and he cursed himself. It was indeed murky within. Dust flew around the room like uncoiled springs lashing out in open air. He followed them to the bar and sat on a stool, next to Clarke. “What do you drink? It’s on me,” she said and he pointed to the whisky. Raven poured them glasses and they relished in their drink. “You guys seen Finn?” Raven asked them and both Clarke and Harper shook their heads. “Probably out on the ranch,” she murmured to herself and took another swig. Bellamy emptied his glass and sat silently, a discontent settling over him. “You reckon Wells is with him?” Clarke asked and out of the corner of his eye Bellamy watched her gnaw at the bottom of her lip. “I’d reckon so,” Raven responded, “He left quick last night, didn’t he?” “I wonder why,” Harper sighed dourly. “Didn’t look too happy.” “I think it’s Thelonious,” Clarke said and Bellamy’s eyes shot to her. “A boy and his father,” Raven shook her head sadly. “What can you do?” A strange silence descended upon them and Bellamy cleared his throat. “Oh, my apologies,” Clarke said as if she were scandalized. “We shouldn’t be talking like this.” Bellamy shook his head and the heavy air was dispelled. “You want another drink?” she asked and Bellamy nodded. The doors to the saloon banged open and a call rose from the entrance. “Raven! You open early now and you don’t even tell me?” “Not on your life, Murphy,” Raven rolled her eyes. “We’re closed.” “Don’t look closed to me,” Murphy smirked and strolled over to the bar, glancing at Bellamy as he did so. “My, my, what do we have here?” Bellamy did not meet his eyes, looking into the amber liquid that filled his glass. “Leave it, Murphy,” Clarke warned. “Aw, what are you worried about? I’ve already met the cowboy,” he plopped down into the stool next to Bellamy. “Isn’t that right?” he smiled wickedly. The others looked at him strangely and Bellamy turned to meet Murphy’s mocking stare. His fingers clenched around his glass and he grit his teeth. “You best get out of my face now, or you’re going to lose yours.” Murphy’s lips tightened into a thin line and they stared at each other. Bellamy narrowed his eyes at the drunk and the other man worked his jaw, as if to invite the pain he knew would come. Something tore loose within Bellamy and he raised the glass, preparing to smash it on the drunk’s head. “Enough.” The command was short and curt and it cut through the air like a cannon ball crashing into rock-face. Bellamy paused, as if some unseen tendril had coiled itself around him and held him suspended in space. He turned and saw the man, stepping into the saloon with a deliberate stride. Behind him came Finn and Wells. Even in the light of the saloon, Thelonious appeared as he had the previous night, like a shadow given material shape and matter itself. Dust swirled and was blown away as he strode across creaking wood and halted before them. “John, I thought I said to be gentle.” Murphy did not reply, only grit his teeth and swiveled around in his stool to face the bar. The others looked at the man who now stood like some determined giant and his gaze swept across them all. “What’s going on?” Clarke asked, eyes flitting between Finn and Wells.“I’ve a proposition,” Thelonious said and his eyes came to rest on Bellamy. He turned away, turning his back on the man and the sons he had afforded himself.“What proposition?” Raven inquired and the biting edge in her tone was not lost upon them. “We can save our town.” In the quiet that followed Bellamy heard the sound of horses’ hooves stamping into the ground outside. They snuffled and whinnied and their snorts were emitted in short, powerful bursts. Then their owners kicked them and they walked on into the sullen street of a dying world. “What do you mean?” Raven pressed. “It’s the City of Light. I know where it is.” “You’re serious? This again?” “He’s not kidding, Raven,” Finn said and to Bellamy he sounded like a child lost in the marketplace. There was the sound of muffled rustling and Thelonious’s voice rang like a rock dropped in a well. “See for yourself,” he said and tossed something onto the bar-top. Bellamy could not resist the urge to look. Sneaking a glance at the gleam of circular silver that lay on thistlelike wood he could discern some strange symbol that wound in upon itself in two distinct loops as two side faced ovals bound together by one common string. Raven pinched it gently between her fingers and held it up for inspection. “I don’t…” “It’s out there. It’s real.” “What’s real?” Thelonious’s serene smile widened. “Okay,” Clarke interjected, “Even if it was real, which I’m not saying it is,” she looked nervously at the people gathered about her, “What would you have us do? Why are you here?” “I need help. I have proof but I do not have people. I’ve come to gather participants willing to volunteer time and livelihood to an expedition.” “An expedition…” Clarke stared at a spot above their heads as if contemplating some deep problem. “It is out there. I know it. Now I have the way.” “How do you know?” Raven narrowed her eyes at Thelonious who stood like a boar bearing the brunt of the litter’s blows. “How do you know where to go from this?” she held up the silver object. “Oh Miss Reyes,” he said and now he grinned like he had heard the funniest joke in the world, “I know because it speaks to me.” When Bellamy entered his room in the hotel it felt to him as if he was relieved of some monumental weight. He sat at the edge of the mattress, staring out at the distorted shadows that moved across the tarp of his window and he wondered if maybe now he hadn’t stayed too long. A wanderer wanders, he thought in an opaque cloud of loose thought that flirted the boundary between dazed dreaming and the scuttle of shadow at the edge of one’s vision. But when a wanderer stays in one place too long someone is bound to catch up. Drops of rain began to patter against the window and hit the street of Arkadia with a dull muted thudding and somewhere off in the desert distance the sky began to rumble and groan. So it was that he slipped under the fuzzy boundary between the conscious and its antithesis; an unspeakable thing that chafed and roared at the construction that held it in thrall to the whims of each and every man beyond his own knowing. When he awoke the day was waning and there was knock at the door. Three sharp raps and an uncertain tapping of the foot. He lay in wait and listened. When it came again he stiffened and approached the door slowly. He peered down at the shadow that rippled and spread from the dim light under his door. “Who is it?” he called out and a muffled voice came back to him, “It’s me.” He opened the door slowly and found Clarke standing expectantly with a look that belied the boundless and nervous energy he intuited simmered within her. A quick smile graced her face and she examined his features.“You look surprised,” she observed.“Wasn’t expecting it,” he said gruffly. She nodded. “Can I come in?” He stood aside and motioned her inside. She made a show of inspecting the place, her head hovering from side to side as he closed the door and leaned against it. He waited for her to begin. “I came to ask something of you.”“Okay.” “I know we don’t know each other well.” “Uh-huh.” “But I wanted to ask anyway.” “Go ahead.”She took a breath and leveled him with a look of unwavering severity. “I’d like you to come with us.” “Come with you where?” She took another breath, as if to steady herself against the words she was about to speak. “To find the City of Light.” He was surprised at the laugh that came from him. He shook his head, amused and suddenly light of heart. “To find what?” “I know it sounds stupid. But if there’s a chance – a chance that it’s real…I have to go.” “Okay.” “Okay?” “What would you have me say?” She looked at him like he bore two heads instead of one. “To question my sensibility as a woman…to question the whys and whats.” “I don’t care about the whys nor the whats. And I don’t care about your sensibilities.” She hung her head. “But I will come with you.” She smiled. They gathered at the edge of town as the first light of the new day broke over the sky. The sandy ground was still soggy from the night’s depositing and a gentle breeze nipped at their faces. Bellamy approached the circular arrangement they had without knowing it concocted. Jasper and Monty tended to the horses, ensuring the wagons were stocked with water and hay, Wells sharpened knives and Finn wiped away at the chamber of a single Colt .45, Raven, Harper, and Clarke gathered food and drink from the saloon. Murphy sat sneering at the rest of them while Thelonious inspected the expansive plains that opened out into vast fields of earthy ground; he turned when he heard the sound of Bellamy’s boots crunching against wet sand and grinned when he saw the cowboy. “What’s he doing here?” Murphy called. “He’s coming with us,” Clarke said. Murphy harrumphed and fell silent.“I hope Miller can run the place alright while we’re gone,” Raven fretted, gazing mournfully at the saloon. Clarke waved a hand dismissively. “We took almost all the shit inside. Don’t think there’s much to run. ‘sides, it won’t matter so long as we come back with something.” Raven said nothing and turned to the others. Clarke caught Bellamy’s eyes and nodded at him.“Alright,” Thelonious led an assortment of horses to them, enough for everyone but Jasper and Monty who would work the wagon. He led a horse that seemed to drag its hooves rather than clop to Bellamy. He patted it on its mane and looked at Bellamy.“Hope you don’t mind black,” he said, smiling, and walked away. Bellamy mounted his horse. “Let’s go,” Thelonious called. And they rode into the wilderness. The day was cool and the sun was merciful. They followed Thelonious in a disorganized grouping of horse and wagon, with Bellamy occupying the tail end of the troupe. The scorched sand of the desert gradually gave way to short shrubland that billowed out of rocky arches and hills. Arkadia grew smaller until in its place nothing could be perceived but the truncated form of a tiny brown dot that hovered and shook in the simmering whip of the wind. All bearing was lost and Bellamy smiled, a contented buzz vibrating deep in his chest. They were alone with the world now. They were dependent on nothing but the soil from which they came. Thelonious led the pack, a dark shape that remained perennially ahead, never pausing to gather direction nor search for a landmark, an easy confidence that acted to relieve the others of concern. There was nothing to do but follow. Bellamy looked to his sides and ahead. No cloud nor crow touched the sky. A steady stillness seemed to hang in the air as the horses gathered a haze of dust around them, a cloud that followed them and remained floating in the air like some spectral remnant of departed histories that would not be enveloped into the embrace of that one insuperable thing. That thing, Bellamy thought, and now the pleasant buzz in his head seemed to clear at once and he was alert. He looked around him, the others rode their horses like they had fallen into a trance, eyes focused, heads unmoving. Only Murphy seemed to shatter the dreamy mentality that had fallen upon them, he yawned and rubbed at his eyes and sometimes his head nodded and he was driven to blink forcefully to stay awake. They continued on until the shrubland became grassland and the sun had reached its midpoint. They stopped for a drink of water. Monty filled a large bucket with water and watched over the horses as they took turns lapping at it. The others drank from canteens. Bellamy observed the land around them. “It’s nice, isn’t it?” Clarke stood next to him and he glanced at her.“It is what it is.” She chuckled and raised her canteen to her lips. “Nothing much impresses you, I take it?” Bellamy shrugged and they mounted their horses again. In the declining light of the day they passed over fields of short yellow grass that waved in tandem to the movement of the wind. Like a song, Bellamy wondered. Everything has a rhythm. The sky changed above them and the space around them changed with it. The light of day is different in its many hours and within lies a reflection of the people who travel under it. The place of early morning light is bright and triumphant and the melancholy of late afternoon had begun to swell around them until Bellamy could not look at the ground without seeing in the blanket of sunshine something mournful. Soon it was evening and they stopped to tie their horses to the wagon, gathering the firewood stored within and setting fire to it with a match and the frantic reassurance of Jasper’s oxygenated huffing. Around the campfire they sat and dived into warm tin cans of beans and some of them chatted amongst themselves while others focused on the food before them. Bellamy wolfed down his own portion and tossed the can into the grass. Jasper wagged his finger at him playfully. “You’d defile the beauty of this here field of grass?” Bellamy eyed him from across the fire and Jasper held up his hands in mock surrender. “I’m only sayin’.” “When are we getting to the city, Jaha?” Murphy called to Thelonious. The man was not eating, but sitting with his head pointed towards the ground and his eyes closed. One could have mistaken him for a sleeping man. He opened his eyes and lifted his head at the sound of Murphy’s voice. “We’re on the path.” “That’s it? Not gonna tell us how we’re getting there?” “I would not worry yourself, John.” “Well, I’m bored,” Murphy grumbled. “Ain’t a whole lot to do out here.” “But there is much to see.” Murphy snorted. Finn chewed on the inside of his cheek and bumped his shoulder to Wells. He grinned in the orange flickering of the flame. “How about a game?” he propositioned and the others were called to attention. “What game?” Raven narrowed her eyes at him. “A fun one,” he said and he twirled a knife in his hands. “We go around the fire and say something about ourselves.”“That’s fun?” Jasper questioned. “Sure, because it has to be something secret,” Finn smiled fiendishly. “Something secret…” Monty tapped his can on the ground. “It has to be something interesting. I’ll go first,” he looked around at them and his eyes settled on Clarke, who watched him suspiciously. “I want to bed someone here,” he said. Jasper and Murphy huffed laughter, Raven shook her head and Clarke clucked her tongue and looked away.“See? Hilarious. Now we go around,” Finn stuck his foot out and nudged Wells’ leg. “You go, buddy.”“I can’t hold a damn drink.”“I got some bad bumps on the ol’ pecker once after I went for some low hangin’ fruit.” “I don’t like my job, I guess.” “Riding horses gives me a bad itch.” “I hate men.” “I’m bored.”“My mother used to call me Lewis.” They looked to Bellamy and under their combined stares the heat of the fire grew hotter. He looked at the ground as he spoke. “I had a sister.” They fell silent, their faces a mosaic of floating shapes and color in the flames. A hawk screeched somewhere in the sky and a coyote howled, its echo rebounding across the steady cricketing of the night. They lay themselves on the grass, tugging bundles of cotton cushioning around and under them and they slept. 1:1: Alie on the hatred of musicThey rode out again as the sun began its careful ascent over the fields. The sky was a deep violet and it seemed to blaze with a ferocity matched only by the wilderness below. They passed over flat fields that went on until Bellamy began to wonder whether there was anything else in the world left to see. In time the ground curved upwards and they traveled along the incline until they could on all sides the plains sweeping out across the curve of the earth. Grass turned to rock again and they navigated the intricacies of a mountainside, the horse riders taking care to trot alongside the wagon at an even pace, ensuring it did not catch itself in any loose ground or topple over edges. The shade of the rock-face kept them insulated from the harsh glare of the sun and the trees kept them refreshed in the shade; olden oak that stretched high above them, spidery webs of branch and root crisscrossing in tangled sheets of intricate patterns, the product of centuries at work. Some things last forever, or almost so. They halted at the peak of a high hillside. Thelonious dropped from his horse and stood examining the landscape before them. He stood unmoving and the others looked at each other unsurely, nervously, until he mounted his horse again and they rode down the hill and back onto flat ground. They caught the sun and Bellamy tipped the rim of his hat so that it covered the top half of his face. The rhythm of his horse beating against the ground, rising and falling like an easy breath in the wind, lulled him to a state of drowsiness and he caught himself close to unconsciousness several times before he straightened himself and lifted his hat again. He looked at the others and saw them sweating under the watchful presence of the sky’s eye. He saw Clarke, beating her foot lightly against the side of her horse and rubbing its mane. She spoke silently, mouthing something that only she and the horse could hear, head swaying gently from side to side. Bellamy observed her curiously. She was singing. In the shrubbery of the desert they rested and sat in a loose semi-circle. Bellamy drank from his canteen and rested his head against the boulder on which he lay half splayed and staring at the brightness of the cloudless sea that worked to contain them and all things alike. Staring lazily at an unmoving boundary he felt as if he would dissolve into it and become it and find in it some solace from the hardness of the barren world they inhabited. The others too found themselves lost in inertia so that when it came time to move again the sun had already reached its nadir and they stopped again to set up camp. Settling around the fire the pretension of entertainment was not again countenanced and they watched the flames leap and black smoke coil and twist into the dark of a starry night where it too dissolved, spread out along the sweep of a globular and heavenly realm beyond that on which they sat.The broken sound of a breathy harmonica rose up out of the silent night and they turned to watch Murphy struggle with the silver instrument. He blew into it and the strained note screamed like the cry of a dying deer. The others winced and heckled him. He raised it to his lips for another attempt when it was snatched out of his hands and crushed, snapping and crinkling like firecrackers set loose, the broken remains seeping out of the large dark hand and scattering in the wind. Murphy scowled at Thelonious, his brows furrowed in annoyance and frustration. “The hell you do that for?!” “Melodious though you may be, there is no place here for sounds imported from minds unknowing to what they have begotten.” “What’s that supposed to mean?” Murphy grumbled.“Did the Sirens not seduce with their sickly hymns? Do men not slaughter one another to the sound of a rousing symphony?” No one spoke. “Music is an indulgence to man’s greatest follies. It is at once the seducer and the slaughterer. Where men bring with them vanity, greed, and the ravages of sword and bullet they bring with them the sounds that have percolated in the depths of their shared existence until it becomes the official stamp on which they rule. It is legislator and legislation. The wicked ways of the world are facilitated by the enjoyment inherent in its action. One who surrenders themselves to sound deafens themselves to that which has provided it.” Murphy dug his feet into the ground, arms crossed, and yawned heartily. The others made their bundles and slept. 1:2: Alie on NaturphilosophieThey awoke to the crack of thunder and the light puttering of rain upon the soil. They gathered up their supplies and gathered themselves upon their horses. In the sigh of the greying dawn they marched across stony barrens and the blanket of cloud moved with them like a silent watcher. The shrubbery whistled in the gathering wind and several small rodents scurried under rock. A collection of darker clouds imposed themselves upon the horizon and together they paused to watch them sweep across the sky. “We better get out of the way,” Raven murmured and the others made noise in their assent. They kicked at their horses and took off, weaving between boulders fixed in the ground by years of stagnation and slowing to push their way over inclines. The distant rumbling grew louder and the wind picked up speed so that Bellamy was forced to tighten his hold upon the reins of his horse to keep steady. He felt his hat removed by the force of the gale and he kicked again and again at his horse, willing it to go faster. Few of the others had fallen behind while others roared ahead and the horses trembled under the strain of their effort. A dark row, a line of tall black shapes stood unmoving in the distance. Bellamy squinted at the sight and nearly fell from his horse. “To the forest!” someone called and without further rumination they dashed forward towards the shelter of the trees. The ground darkened around them and Bellamy understood that they were caught in it now without recourse to some ulterior means of escape. There was just now themselves and the trees. Large drops of rain lashed at him, splattering and exploding across his face, blinding him to the sights all around him. The wind hurled him forward and to the side until he was no more riding his horse than clawing at it, wrapping his body around the bulk of the horse and holding on for his life. Another crack like a gunshot exploded above him and the hairs on his arms stood on edge and out of the corner of his vision he saw the sky pulsating and shifting, blinding white bands of electricity sparking down from the world above and striking out at them below. His horse whinnied fretfully and reared its body, tossing Bellamy from its back. His head connected with the thick trunk of a tree and he fell face first onto the ground, his head thumping hard into the firmness of the forest floor. He lay there, a taste of metal gathering at his lips and he slipped away in the rain, eyes closing under the spreading warmth of his head. He awoke to a hand that pushed at his shoulder with a frantic urgency. He groaned and looked up with an unfocused perplexity at pulsating dots that popped in and out of existence, the fuzzy treetops, and Clarke. “Bellamy, Bellamy, can you hear me?”“I’m –“ he coughed and drops of blood flew off his lip, “I’m alright,” he pushed himself to a sitting position and his head flared with pain. He cringed and hissed. “Don’t try to move too fast,” Clarke counseled. He poked experimentally at his head and felt pain and wetness. “Where is everyone?” Clarke looked at him with a desperation he had not seen before. “They’re a little ways away,” she said and her eyes shined with something sad. “It’s not good.” “What isn’t?” “Raven,” she said simply. He moved to stand and the movement of his neck caused a blearing pain to spike up his neck. “Stop – stop, don’t move,” Clarke said. She went around him, reaching around to grab at the underside of his arm and with her help he hauled himself up. He wobbled and reached out at the trunk stained with his blood to steady himself, the forest swimming in his vision like an emerald sea. “How many horses?” he asked as she led him towards the others, one arm wrapped securely around his waist. She shook her head. “Some ran off in the storm.” They reached a tiny clearing where the rest of them stood gathered around something. Bellamy heard the sounds of pained groans and whimpering before he saw it. On the ground lay Raven, a sharp and bulky branch driven through her left leg just above the ankle. Blood pooled around it and melted into the ground and the grass around her was red. Monty was kneeled beside her, his hands moving around the branch like a mime but refusing to touch it. Beads of sweat trickled down from Raven’s temples and at the bloody scene before him Bellamy shut his eyes in recognition and resignation. “Oh…oh God,” Raven breathed and when Monty touched the branch she screamed so loudly that a group of quail swept up from the forest in surprise. “How do we take it out?” Monty stared fearfully at the trembling woman before him. “The foot’s no good,” Finn said gently, as if his words could only soothe with a measured pitch. Raven looked at him painfully and angrily. “No! No! Don’t touch my foot!” she screeched.“Raven…” Clarke whispered. “We have to do something.” “Not that…please, not that,” Raven moaned.From the remains of the wagon that had collided and splintered against a tree, Wells approached with a knife in hand, slowly, as if every step was a cut that struck deep inside him. “Listen, listen to me. I can walk, I can walk fine. Look – see – “ Raven made to roll over and the branch embedded within her scraped against the ground and she cried out shrilly. “Just hold my hand,” Clarke said, crouching down and taking Raven’s hand into her own. Raven shook her head stubbornly. “Please, it’s fine. I’ll be able to walk fine,” she whispered. “It’ll get infected,” Wells said. “It’ll die. You know we have to.” They stood there like ritualists gathered around a sacrifice, all wavering in the face of a certainty about to come. Wells gripped the knife in his hand, stepped forward, and stepped back.“I can’t,” he said. “I can’t do it.” Nobody moved and it was only the sound of Raven’s labored panting that reminded them of what curious convergence of accident and fortune urged them forward. Murphy stepped up from behind Wells, taking the knife into his hand and kneeling beside Raven. “Sorry about this,” he said, and Bellamy had time to note that he did look genuinely sorry. It was lengthy and it hurt to hear. Her screams were agonizing and she was passed out when it hit bone. When it was over the foot lay detached, surrounded in a darkening puddle of its own making and Raven lay twitching and perspiring against Clarke who gently smoothed over her hair and whispered nothings to her. They rushed to wrap a bandage around the bloodied stump that had once connected foot and leg. Finn gathered her up in his arms and a lightness held them in silence. They looked at each other as if emerging from a trance, like they had come out of a long dream. “Now what?” Jasper asked. “Now we continue,” Thelonious said, as if it were not a question at all. “With what? We lost a bunch of horses,” Wells said. Thelonious turned to him and Bellamy watched the boy clench his jaw as if he were resisting some great weight that had suddenly descended on him. “Look at her,” Finn said, looking down at the girl hung limp in his arms, “She can’t keep on like this.” “All the more reason to find the City of Light,” Thelonious responded. “Where is the City of Light?!” Finn shouted. “We’ve been out here for days and still nothing!” Thelonious was quiet for a moment and looked at Finn thoughtfully. Then he turned away. “Come, gather what you can and let’s go,” he said. They did not get far. The forest thickened and what remained of the day was short. Jasper and Monty pulled at the broken wagon, but its weight forced them to take frequent breaks. Murphy walked with them without speaking, a blank expression held on his face. They stopped in a small tiny clearing and placed firewood on the ground. The matches were running short and Monty removed one of the last, lighting it and flicking into the bundle of wood. Finn lay Raven gently down on a cotton bundle and sat beside her. Clarke occupied her other side. They sat and let the unspoken weight of the day carry their thoughts away. Murphy sat with his head in his stained hands until it seemed he could no longer remain still and moved to lie on the ground. “Not what you thought it would be?” Thelonious broke the silence and Murphy did not turn his head. Thelonious swept the circle they had made around the fire with his eyes. He landed on Raven and Clarke stroked her head protectively. “Understand that the ground on which we walk is not that in which we know and sleep and drink and play. It is something prior and primitive. The last of a breed that is slowly being extirpated from this earth. It is the poison of romance and the destruction of the idol that this land retains in its being and purpose. The fool who seeks without knowing what he seeks comes up empty handed. Those who come out here in search of nothing return to nothing. Pari Passu.”“That’s a nice theory,” Murphy muttered. Thelonious smiled. “You laugh, but when you look up at those trees, what do you see? I see the actualization of potential. It is that in virtue of which something is in itself that exists. The only thing that exists. Out here in this land you will find nothing but those elements that have been squared away and forgotten by man in his reckless endeavor across the world and continent and country. And for what? ‘Destiny’. There are those who would do well to run up against this great tide of Nature and see what will remain of their destiny. A broken-up wreckage. A trick of the light gone dark and the wisp of the willow extinguished under the immanent thumb of the chain of causes lead to and by that final cause. There are essences and they watch us awake and asleep.” Bellamy lay awake until the cackling of a dying fire finally put him to sleep. 1:3: Alie on what there isHalf crazed mutterings and cries awoke them before the sun came up and while the coolness of the night still persisted, the fire reduced to a shimmering glow. Raven thrashed in her sleep and Clarke sat poised above her, running her fingers through her hair and whispering to her. She looked to the others fearfully and in the dark of the morning it appeared to Bellamy that pupil and iris had become one and that her eyes had turned black. He looked away and sat watching the remains of their campfire as the others steadily, silently, gathered their things and prepared to renew their venture. Sweat poured down Raven’s face and several times she cried out, as if even in sleep she could not escape that which hunted her in waking life. Her movements and talk ceased suddenly, all at once, as the new light of the day diffused through the trees. She died in her sleep.Clarke would not move and Bellamy wanted to go to her, to kneel down and reassure and comfort, but he was held back by some intangible division within him that neutered his will and his courage and then something tangible too – Wells approached her, softly and with grace, as if he were treading on glass with bare feet, and wrapped an arm around her. The others stood watching grimly and without comment. Jasper and Monty counted what remained of their horses – three in all, and took what they could from the wagon, food, water, and Harper took on the task of hauling the bucket, now stacked with hay, for the horses. They moved out into the forest, much slower now, each weaving separate paths through the thickness of the wood. Bellamy observed with some faint interest the passing of the trees, the buoyancy of the leaves hung in the air, the spindles that grew with them and the branches that held them in space. What it must be like to have them driven through you, to return to the land that begot you and those before you and to sink back like a melting puddle, like an attribute of some underlying permanence that reaches up to seize what has dangled away from it. In the wide-open world there is happiness and joy but where is grief? It lies in the faces and the bones and the hearts of every person – a clock that ticks away until it comes time to collect. It rests in dreams, in hushed talk in beds, in seeds planted in the minds of men that look upon the vast substance that bounds them and believe they encompass no small portion of it. It lurks in the everyday corners of the world, in the trees and the grass and the dust of desert sand and it lies in wait for someone to find it, or perhaps it seeks them out. Did Raven find the branch that felled her or did it find her? Some shapeless monstrosity, omniscient and present in all things? Bellamy shook in the slick low-lying heat of woodland mist. They emerged from the wood. A stream rushed past them and continued winding down the low lands they had stumbled upon. Hearty grassland sprung up around them and thick, dark trees stood in a collection that ringed the valley. “Drink if you need to,” Thelonious ordered. They unloaded the things they carried and collected themselves by the stream, some splashing water onto their faces and others seated and watching blankly as it passed by. Bellamy saw Clarke stand and trace the path of the stream down into the trees. She disappeared into a brush and he fixed his eyes upon the space which she had just occupied. Wells was filling his canteen in the stream and Bellamy, pushing down inhibitions that rose up like spidery legs within his chest, followed Clarke into the brush. He battled oversized leaves and bulky roots and the stabbing of vines that pricked at his arms and his face stumbling out into a clearing and his eyes widened at the sight. Clarke, her naked back to him, shirt thrown without caution to the ground beside her, rubbing her wet hand over her shoulders. Bathing, he realized, his eyes transfixed by the girl as he receded into the bushes behind him. He felt strange watching her. It had been so long, he knew, so long since had seen – been – with any woman. He watched tiny streams of water trickle down the arc of her back and he wondered at it. Unbounded, uninhibited, unconstrained, there is a personal freedom in the removal of one’s clothing, a vulnerability and a power to it seldom matched nor even understood by the whispers and talk of trades that stand diminished in its midst. In the understanding of oneself there is both rejuvenation and destruction – twin dispositions bordering on tyranny and a synthesis that pronounces its inseparability, local entities with nonlocal properties. Infinite spaces compounded into one finite spot, one moment in time. A naked woman is like Nature and Nature is like her. Malevolent and curious, infinitely mysterious and the sweet aching of time lost and regained and remembered surged within. Bellamy turned away, taking care not to rustle the bushes, and dragged his feet back to camp. He felt hot angry wetness blurring his vision and he rubbed furiously at them. He was lost. Clarke returned and they moved out again, taking care to lead the horses gently across the stream where it was most shallow. Under the baleful filament of the morning light they trudged over hills and across a network of rivers and streams that cut through the landscape like a woodcut carved by transcendent artistry. Wells and Clarke walked side by side and Bellamy followed behind them, watching him take her hand in his and the smile she gave him and he cursed himself and a struggle broke out within him to understand – to quantify and catalogue and categorize. He turned to Finn and saw him, head down, eyes planted firmly on the ground, arms dangling at his sides like he had lost all pretense of continence. Bellamy paused to consider whether they were in dire straits – and how they would know it if they were. He remembered days by the shore, ensconced in fields of lilac and sunflower, the haughty bellowing and laughter that sang melodiously over startled woodpeckers and pugnacious pigeons that braved the land for a chance at a breadcrumb. He shook his head and pressed on. They covered far less ground than they had the previous day and when the sun came down they had not yet left the valley. They gathered by a stream and lay out a few logs of wood. Monty procured one of the few remaining matches and lit the fire. They watched the fire crackle to life and in the heat that reached him Bellamy felt another warmth at his side. He turned to Clarke, who did not remove her gaze from the fire. He sought for something to say. “It wasn’t your fault,” he said. Clarke said nothing. A sniffling came over the sound of the fire and he looked to Finn and saw tears glide down his cheeks. “See that stream,” Thelonious spoke and pointed to the water rushing and roiling past them. “Watch it come to be and pass away and know that what pains you now will become you too in time.” “What are you talking about?” Wells demanded. “What’s your problem?” “Things come to be and pass away, that is the nature of things. But of those things that are said to be themselves insofar as they are, there is an undying eternity that persists even past the end of its affections. The world is a river and it consists of many parts and many places but what is it that is shared, that remains even after all things go away in their finitude? It is the container of the world, the innermost motionless boundary of a thing that resists what we cannot. Generation and destruction are but appearances and shadows on the wall.” “Sure feels real to me,” Murphy shot back. Thelonious turned to him. “Accept that a proposition, any proposition, is caught between the truth and falsehood and that its ultimate status is one and not the other nor both and you will see that what I say is no lie. Reject this and the world you live in is no world at all.” Bellamy lay himself down to sleep, arms folded neatly over his chest and he looked up at the beads of light that dotted the sky and watched one arc over the trees and behind the distant peak of a mountaintop. 1:4: Alie on fate and modalityUnder the toil of sweltering heat they emerged from the valley and found themselves in the desert once again. They checked their canteens and filled them with what they could. Jasper and Monty, straining under the weight of the wagon, dropped it behind them and gathered what remained of their food and wood. They looked out at the expanse of desert and the collective weight upon their shoulders seemed only to grow at the sight of it. Thelonious led them forward and with some reluctance they marched out into the wildness. They followed the bend of a path flanked on both sides by the high walls of plateaus that rode up into a cumulous sea. They passed a collection of crudely constructed holdings embedded into the mountainside and they marveled at the sight of it; a relic of a time long past stamped out of existence and bearing nothing but itself as a remnant of those who had once forged it out of the nothingness of the earth. Now they melded with the mountain and soon they would become it. They slogged over difficult ground and their boots sloshed in mud and from behind Bellamy heard something whiz past in the air and a breeze rushed against the side of his face. He stopped and looked around him, calling to the others to halt their steps. There was another whooshing sound and someone cried out and gargled in the air and another screamed and Bellamy had scant time to comprehend what had occurred when somebody was pushing him away as thin blurs rained down around them. He was shoved into a small alcove carved into the plateau where the others had taken refuge and in his mind Bellamy performed a head count and found one missing. He peered out into the mud and was sent reeling at the sight of someone lying motionless in the mud, an arrow stuck prominently out of the neck. “What -?” “Don’t go out there,” Thelonious warned. “What happened?” Wells huffed, his hand to his chest and his breath coming in short angry spasms. “Indians,” Murphy spat bitterly. “I’d bet you anything.” “Oh God,” Harper cupped her mouth betwixt her hands. “They got Finn.” The arrows stopped falling and the silence was broken only by the cawing of birds somewhere high above them. The travelers crouched in the entryway to the cave and huddled together, observing the still body as it lay ignominiously in the mud. Much time passed and the day turned dark before Wells stood among them and looked out with a fiery determination. “We have to get him,” he said and most did not bother to glance at him. “We can’t,” Monty said. “It’s too dangerous.” Wells stepped forward until he was at the mouth of the cave and braced his hands against the walls. “We have to. He would do the same for us.” “Wells – please,” Clarke reached for him. “They’ll kill you too.” “And if we stay here they won’t?” he responded. He shook his head. “No. I have to do this.” “What are you trying to prove, man?” Murphy called from the back of the cave. “Dying out here ain’t gonna bring anyone back.” “Thelonious, say something,” Clarke begged. The man remained where he was, looking ahead at the body in the mud, his eyes half closed in the darkness of the cave. “It is his choice to make.” Wells grit his teeth and sprang forward, rushing over to the body and pulling under the arms, turning it and beginning to drag it back to the cave. Mud stuck to the both of them as Wells heaved towards the cave. A single arrow flew out of the sky and pierced the ground at Wells’ feet and he hopped up, dropping the body and falling backwards into the mud. Clarke called his name and ran out to get him but Bellamy reached out and gripped her arm. She turned to him and her eyes blazed with fury and for a moment his grip loosened and she pulled free, rushing out to help Wells stand. Wells reached for Finn’s body again but Clarke grabbed his arm and pulled him back towards the cave. More arrows came down and struck Finn’s body, leaving a quick volley of sickening cracks to echo through the desert air. “I tried – I can’t –“ Wells collapsed against the wall of the cave. Bellamy stood, certain now in the knowledge of what had to be done. He stepped out into the path and heard the others call his name. He raised his arms into the air, holding them as he stepped to the body of what had just hours before been Finn Collins. He held his hands up and faced the direction in which the arrows had come. “We surrender!” he called. “You hear me?! We surrender!” Nothing came. No response. No arrow. There was, ultimately, nothing left to be done. He slowly dropped his hands to his sides and scanned the horizon. His gaze swept across the homes in the mountain and for a moment something flittered in the shade between the houses. He squinted and saw a faint shape make it way across the cliffside and disappear around the bend of the plateau. Bellamy turned to the others and motioned for them to come out. They emerged cautiously, taking light steps into the mud and approaching the body with a feathery hesitance. They gathered around it and looked down at the body. Jasper kneeled and pulled at the arrow but it would not budge. “Now what?” Murphy asked. “Now we bury him,” Clarke said and there were no objections. When it was done, when the last light of the day burned an orange haze across a navy sky, they looked down at the mound that had unknowingly become the final resting place of a man they once knew and Clarke looked resolutely up at the others, her face betraying no hint of sadness or remorse. “Would anyone like to speak?” she asked. Nobody did. She nodded and turned her head to the makeshift grave. “I’m sorry this happened to you,” she said and now Bellamy heard her sniffle. “I’m really sorry.” She looked hard at Thelonious and he did not meet her stare. They constructed a fire with the last of their matches and wood and they gathered closer together than in previous nights and Thelonious dictated to them, speaking of things seen and heard in the woods and of strange lights witnessed dancing and bobbing through night skies. He spoke of anomalies in the order of things and how everything returns to the Same at last. When Clarke heaved a hefty sigh, he turned to her. “Do you object, Miss Griffin?” “I just don’t see what the purpose of all this is.” “Is there a purpose to all of this?” “My friend died today.” “Indeed,” Thelonious said, “He died just as others do and the particular sequence of his death does belie a hidden hand, a conspiratorial assemblage that directs a course for any and for all. The order of our lives are driven by a curious arrangement not of heavenly bodies but of an ensemble of hidden entities each more insidious than the last. Objective propensities that dictate the course of everyday life, the necessity that determines the circumstance before it can give rise to itself and the eternal actuality that keeps the world spinning on its everlasting course. It is the chance encounters of life that are subordinated to an overarching fate and to the inner workings of that unmoved mover.” “Yeah, well, your unmoved mover can go shove it up his ass.” Thelonious smiled wanly. “One enemy at a time,” he said and pointed to the sky. Bellamy dreamt of lights and fields of sunflower. He reached out, arms extended and hands clutching in desperation and found naught but empty air. 1:5: Alie on temporality and causalityPlateaus and hillocks turned to flat empty land and they struggled over great expanses of nothing. Far-away clouds seemed to reach down across the sky and poke at the line of the horizon and they found themselves moving sluggishly, dragging feet and shoulders slumped. Bellamy looked at the others and knew that they were running out of time. Time. In the remembrance of things past he saw himself positioned in the great wild that seemed never to end and the reassurances that accompanied it and the explosion of buckshot and the flocks in flight that followed it and even the swell of pride as he looked down at his catch and the praise that was showered upon him like an arrow forced down by the ubiquitous attraction of the earth below - he recalled waking up in the morning and the sweet smell of biscuit and lemons wafting up to him, the scampering of feet like a feline moving towards the reward of its kill and he remembered the lowering of a casket into the ground and felt the tears slipping down his cheeks both then and now. They passed through a wide forest of thick trees and a dull roar sounded over the trees. “Thank the Lord,” Jasper said, “I’m parched to high hell.” They gathered by a wide river and filled their canteens. Bellamy stood looking out to the other side. It was wide. Too wide. It would not be crossed. The thin rustle of bushes behind them caught his attention and he turned to the disturbance. The flora moved gently in the wind and he released a breath he did not know he was holding. Someone touched his side and his insides sank. “Don’t move,” Clarke murmured and he tensed. “What is it?” he asked. “Someone’s following us,” she said, staring along at the river with him. “How do you know?” “I’ve heard them since at least the start of the wood and I saw them too.” Bellamy shifted uncomfortably. “What do you propose?” “We can’t risk them knowing we know. There could be more than one. If we just wait out here they’ll have to show themselves eventually,” she explained.“Your plan is to keep us out in the open?” “You got something better?” “Yeah, we get everyone else to stay here and double around back. Divide their attention and catch the son of a bitch,” Bellamy explained. “That could get us killed,” Clarke said. “We’re already dying out here, princess.” Clarke punched his arm. “Alright,” she said, worrying her lip. “Let’s go.” They told the others that they would make a short excursion into the woods to gather firewood and grabbed two knives. They followed the course of the river for a while before penetrating the forest. They crept silently through the trees, finding nothing but the tittering of birds and tiny mammals that scattered as they approached. They began to circle back around towards the group when Bellamy held out an arm and crouched low. Clarke followed him to ground. “What is it?” she asked. Bellamy held a finger to his lips. “I see something,” he said in a hushed whisper and pointed ahead. Through the trees there was movement and the form of a human shape slowly materialized into view. Bellamy moved behind a tree and Clarke did the same across from him. The figure moved towards them and the sound of plants being torn from their roots approached like the inexorable chugging of a train. The person passed them and Bellamy sprung out from behind the tree, wrapping his arms around their neck and pulling them to him. The other person fell backwards, crying out in surprise and waved a bow wildly around in hand. “Drop it,” Bellamy commanded, “Drop it now.” The person continued to struggle before dropping the bow and Bellamy pushed them into a tree. Their head slammed against the trunk and they fell backwards. Bellamy kneeled over them and gripped their throat. He paused, recoiling at the sight of the girl under him after her hood slipped off and a mess of wavy brown hair lay splayed around her. She looked up at him fiercely, lips held tightly together, her hands gripping his arms. “Who are you?!” Bellamy demanded. “Tell me!” He released some pressure on her throat and she coughed violently. She uttered short unintelligible phrases and Bellamy hauled her to her feet in frustration. He pushed her forward, Clarke followed behind him, bow in hand, and she grabbed the quiver of arrows that was tucked securely into the back packet of the woman’s long fur-coat. They forced her out of the underbrush and into the clearing beside the river. The others looked up in surprise and Bellamy shoved her. She fell to her knees before them and they made deep imprints in the wet grass. “What’s this?” Thelonious questioned, looking curiously down at the girl. “She was following us,” Bellamy panted. “She had a bow and arrows. I think she’s the one who shot Finn.” “What?” Wells asked, examining the girl. “Are you certain?” “Pretty certain,” Bellamy asserted. He kicked her in the back. “Tell us your name.” The girl said nothing for a few moments. And then she spat, “Echo.” "Echo? Is that your name?” She would say no more. “Where did you come from?”They issued forth a barrage of questions that would not be answered. At last, Thelonious sighed and grabbed her, pulling her to him by her neck until their noses were almost touching. “Do you know the City of Light?” he asked. She spat in his face and for a moment he merely looked at her. Then, suddenly, as if seized by some electric impulse, he dragged her to the river and forced her head into the water. She spluttered and shook her head furiously and his enormous hand pushed it deeper.Bellamy sighed. “Wait, wait,” he came forward and at the sound of her continued choking he gripped Thelonious’s shoulder. “Stop it.” Thelonious drew back, like sudden clarity had just reached him, and he stood back and allowed the girl to come up for air. She choked and spit out water, her chest heaving as she sucked in enormous breaths of air. Bellamy kneeled down beside her. “Listen – Echo, I can’t help you if you don’t talk.” She looked at him and in her eyes he saw some vague cloud of fear behind them. In an instant it was gone and she returned to stoicism, glaring at him heavily from behind strands of water-logged hair. “You killed my friend,” Clarke said, looking down at her with some mixture of anger and disgust. “You killed him. Why?” Echo breathed. “Your people killed my people,” she said. When quiet reigned she tried again. “Blood for blood.” “We had nothing to do with that,” Wells said. “You killed him for nothing.” “You are all the same,” Echo retorted. “You are all one of them.” “We’re not,” Monty protested. “We’re not all like them.” “I’m the last,” Echo said and she hung her head. “They’re all gone.” A struggle raged within Bellamy as he looked at the girl. His fingers dug into his hips and again he kneeled beside her and she looked at him and now he saw in her an opening. Some sadness that could not be articulated. He thought he understood it. “It’s okay,” he offered her a small smile, “We don’t have to kill each other.” He reached for her shoulder and felt his fingertips brush against the gentle fur of her coat and he felt it – felt an overcoming of the troubles that had led them here and a joy previously unknown to him had pulsed vibrantly in his heart when she gripped his arm, reaching behind her and pulling out a long silver knife and slashing his face clean across the cheek. He cried out and fell back in shock. She lashed out and grabbed Wells’s shirt, pulling him to her as she plunged the knife into his neck and the boy gurgled as his blood filled his lungs and poured over his mouth. He stumbled around in a circle, once, twice, and then fell back into the river, hands still clenched around the knife in his throat and thrashing vainly as he sunk beneath the rushing rapids. Clarke screamed in anger and tackled her, pulling her to the ground. She pulled a knife of her own from the sheath secured tightly around her belt and she stabbed at everything she could, her arm flying up before coming down on the girl again and again and both of them screamed and Bellamy looked away at the river – at the spot where Wells Jaha had collapsed into the river before being sucked under – until it was over, until the screaming stopped, and he looked at the bloody and unrecognizable mess of a girl that he had just before seemed so sure of, seemed so sure to share some of the burden that he carried with him every day of his life and he realized Clarke was still going. She was still going and she had to be stopped. He came up behind her as she ripped into the girl. He was hardly aware of his own bleeding face and the harsh stinging that accompanied the swell of blood dripping down and mixing with the blood of a boy he had shared meals and drink and camp with. He grasped lightly at Clarke’s shoulder and her stabbings became weaker and haphazard. She cried out and tossed the knife in fury; it soared and landed in the river with a plop. “She killed him,” Clarke sobbed, “She killed him.” “I know,” Bellamy whispered, pulling her to him. “I know.” He stroked her hair lightly as she cried and hardly noticed at his blood dripped into her hair, coiling around the stringy bands of hair until they merged with the reddened tips of her own making. The rest of them did not move. They stared at the mangled body and the blood on the ground and wondered at how they had gotten there. Echo’s body was dumped into the river. Harper patched up Bellamy’s cheek with a bandage recovered from the wagon and Murphy and Jasper stumbled into the woods dazedly in search of firewood. They were well into the night before they had a fire started, rubbing flint and steel to wood, and they worked on the last of their food without care for what the next day would bring nor the day after that. Nobody dared to look at Thelonious. Nobody deigned to talk. Nobody knew what to say. As Thelonious looked out beyond the glow of the fire into the territories masked in pitch blackness his mouth began to move and he spoke with an authority no less diminished than the night before or before that and at last it began anew. “A pretense of understanding the world without an apprehension of the glue that connects each and every event by its own necessary nature is impossible. The truth about the world is that there are many minds and many masters but only one chain realized in the vast expanse of temporality extending in both directions. Time is substance and the infinite is too and the structure that extends in every direction plays host to both. Count to a hundred and add one more, a thousand, a million, it makes no difference. One cannot fathom a world without them and yet they are unreachable by thought alone. The structure of things is such that influences extend both ways. Forward and backward. Perception is not essence but must invoke a dissolution of our own feeble musings that lead us astray. Intuit upon the world and see what I see and grasp in your hearts that there are things that move faster and in stranger ways than we know.” “Your son is dead,” Clarke remarked. “I know it,” Thelonious responded. And none slept. 1:6: Alie on fathers and sonsAfter the dead have died the living must go on living. They found Jasper’s body a little way away from camp. In the cover of night he had hung himself from a sturdy tree branch with his belt and his pants had fallen a little so that they could see the tops of his soiled undergarments. Monty was in a state of despair. They talked of hunger, of the remaining food they had chewed through the previous night – or was it the night before? They spent half the day milling about their camp in confusion; the sleepiness and inertial haze that Bellamy had felt on their first day of traveling returned with a vengeance and he wondered if that’s what this was – vengeance. Revenge for a lifetime of living fast, of living loose and without regard for a world that would open up if only he had just done so. Revenge for being a failure and losing things that mattered most because he was stupid, because he wasn’t paying attention, because he wasn’t watching her when he should have been. Clarke sat numbly on a log and he took a seat beside her. They sat in a swirl of silence that was without comfort. He clasped his hands together and looked at the ground as he spoke. “We have to leave.” Clarke stayed quiet. “We can’t stay here.” “What do you propose?” “We leave. Take what we can and go.”“These are my friends. I can’t leave them.” “We’re going to die out here.” “I won’t leave them.” He watched Thelonious amble around the camp anxiously. He was a man hot on his feet and he paced beside the river. He wanted to go and entreated anyone he could reach, explaining with a focused fury that they must leave soon and Bellamy could see the resistance beginning to falter, the collective will cracking. Soon they would march out into the wild again. “Something’s wrong with him,” Bellamy noted. Clarke eyed him sideways. “You think so?” “Don’t play games. What is the City of Light?” “I thought you didn’t care.” “I do now.”Clarke shrugged. “It’s just a story we tell ourselves sometimes.” “A story?” “It wasn’t supposed to exist. But he found that thing.” “What is it?” “I’m not sure,” she shook her head. “Does it really matter now?” “Maybe,” he said. “He wasn’t like this before, was he?” Clarke stared at him. He continued, “Fairytales have their power because we give them power. The more we believe the stronger they get.” “Who told you that?” “Someone I knew a long time ago.” They were called to attention and implored to prepare themselves for the journey. Bellamy stood and eyed the bloodied knife that Clarke held fastened in her hands. “If we’re going to do something it has to be soon,” he said.She smiled tiredly. “Don’t you know? I’m a killer now.” They stumbled through overgrowth and shallow streams and clambered up sharp inclines and trudged over soft earth and all the while Bellamy felt an unease creeping up inside him, spreading along the contours of his innards like thin putty made to fit any shape. They panted and wheezed and exhaustion wore them down and he found himself struggling next to Murphy who snorted shortly at him as they climbed a steep hill. “Getting tired, pretty boy?” “Me and you both.” Murphy laughed again and slapped Bellamy on the shoulder. “The hell you doing out here anyway?” he asked. Bellamy squinted at him. “You’re askin’ me this now?” Murphy shrugged. “Better now than never, you know what I’m sayin’?” “Well, what are you here for?” Murphy was quiet, sweat trailing down his face, carving a path through dirt and grime. “Got nowhere else to go,” he said at last.“Remember what you said to Wells? Dying out here ain’t gonna do no good for anybody,” Bellamy said. He looked ahead to Thelonious who stepped unceasingly and without fatigue across land that had begun to turn barren. “You don’t have to follow him.” “Yeah? Who am I gonna follow?” Murphy bit back. “You?” Bellamy shook his head. “And what about you?” Murphy pressed. “The fuck’s so good out here that you drop everything to follow a madman across the desert?” Bellamy walked without answering. “Look,” he said, “Whatever he got his hands on back at Arkadia did something to him.” “And?” “We put an end to it. Stop this here and now.” “And miss out on the City of Light?” Bellamy scrunched his face. “There is no City of Light.” Murphy smirked at him. “I seen what I seen. You’d do well to open your eyes.” Hunger reared at them and tore at their insides and they took frequent rests. They drank heartily from their canteens and water dribbled down their chins. The sun seemed to race across the sky and it dropped down towards the horizon like a sphere in freefall and disparate tufts of cloud sped across the blue band of the atmosphere and when night fell again they used the last of the wood gathered by the river to construct a new fire and Bellamy stared across the fire at Thelonious who met his eyes with a simple power. Tiny spots of light moved in celestial rotations above and beyond them. “What do you fear, Bellamy Blake?” Bellamy shifted back, startled at the utterance of his likeness. “I know you,” Thelonious said and his eyes fluttered shut and he breathed deeply. “I see you. In other worlds and other places I see all of you. Your grief and your fear and your cowardice.” “You ain’t God.” “No,” Thelonious smiled. “I am much more forgiving.” Bellamy glared across the shifting of the den. “And much more powerful.” “If that’s true why have we not yet found the City you brought us here to find?” “Because you don’t believe,” Thelonious answered. “A man cannot lead his flock to water if the flock is unwilling. You are unwilling to embrace and to accept. It is why you are here, after all.” “Ain’t much for stories,” Bellamy said bitterly. “No,” Thelonious said, “But is the course of one’s life not a story? Are the tales we weave along the tapestry of our own path’s choosing not in fact the totality of our experience? Go ahead, relate a fact, any fact, and tell us that it is not some piece of a larger puzzle and not part of a greater whole. Look upon that grand web extended in both space and time and cut out the worthless anecdotes and what are you left with? Everything meaningful that has happened to you has happened because of you. Every man and woman and relative and friend that has crossed your path and of whose you have crossed are but a function of your own sorrowful existence. What is a friend? A true friend? What of family? Of a father who cherishes the seed he nursed into being? Of a mother who looks upon the child she has brought into the world for the very first time? And what of the friend who takes on the struggle of this world for some other and who takes it gladly and without resentment? Do such things exist? Are there moments like these?” “You tell me.” “Indeed, there are. Just as there is loss. Of a boy who fears for his life and so takes it himself. Of one whose capacity to draw life from this earth is cut short and suffocates within himself. And of a young girl drowned in a river.”Thelonious’s lips curved upward and ever wider and Bellamy bared his teeth. “I’m going to rip that fucking thing right out of you,” he said. “Always so quick to run,” Thelonious smoothed one hand over the other and they gleamed in the light of the fire. “Don’t you see there is nowhere left to go?” When they lay to sleep Bellamy felt someone shift close to him and tufts of blonde hair came to rest near his face. He breathed into it and smelt strawberries. He closed his eyes amidst the warmth radiating near his center and his sleep was dreamless. When they awoke in the dawn of early morning Harper and Monty were gone. The things they carried unmoved from where they had last been placed and the ground where they had last lain undisturbed by departing footprints. Their imprints in the sand were all that remained of them. Clarke called their names with an edge of desperation that Bellamy had even after all this time not yet heard and the desert returned her voice as if Nature itself were mocking her. She stomped around in circles, screaming their names until her voice was a hoarse whisper and then she slumped to the ground in defeat. Bellamy looked to Thelonious who sat, legs crossed and eyes closed and his voice was soft and light. “Where are they?” Thelonious did not move an inch. “Do you truly wish to know?” They left everything except for their canteens and journeyed out into the desert again. Thelonious led them and Clarke followed behind. Murphy and Bellamy brought up the pack and Bellamy leaned close to Murphy and spoke. “Where does he keep it?” Murphy looked at him like he was a man who had lost his wits. “Keep what?” “You remember, that thing he found in the desert. With that pattern on it. Where does he keep it?” Murphy shrugged. “I don’t watch the man.” “But you follow him.” “You want the damned thing so bad go get it yourself.” Bellamy flexed his hands and strode up to Clarke. He opened his mouth to speak but found that he could not say what he wanted, did not even know what he wanted to say. It was too late. Far too late. They had passed through desert and woodland and valleys and mountains and rivers and were days, maybe months from any settlement that was not beaten into the dust by the elements or by the hands of men themselves. Arkadia was a dream in a distant past. He struggled to recall a time before he had ridden into town and grasped only fragments, a collage of misremembered words and broken sentences, vague images that flitted through his mind like a moving picture or funny comics in the papers. His entire life was a melted painting. A story that could not be told. Now they would melt in the desert heat. The stars fell at night and in the daytime too one eye in the sky eyes on the inside screams shouts and God Himself plucking away eroding at the seams everything has gone and everything must go. “You will face a metaphysics,” the man said and he poured over imaginary books and imaginary maps and peered through his own eye at an astral sky. “Breathe.” Back hard against the ground and bodies moving in a circular fashion above him like a wheel that spins forever. Movement that neither stopped nor slowed. Things pass. They come to be and they die away. Whatever beside remains? “C’mon, breathe.” Love? He wondered what it might be like to love. He thought of a mother’s love. A father’s. Does it too weaken with Time? Or is it sturdy and sharp like a tree branch that lives for centuries? He thought he loved, once, maybe. He thought maybe he could love again. The sweet scent of strawberries in an empty land. “Bellamy.” The world attaches. It digs into the swirling wax of memory. It follows him like a ghost. He has opinions, beliefs, precarious judgements formulated over a lifetime of travel. He is besotted with aggrievement. He knows that if there is one thing he can love it is anger. “You put your finger right here. See? Hold it to the trigger. Against your shoulder like this.” He thinks about other places and other worlds. He marvels at the possibility that brought him to this exact world in this exact place at this exact time. He remembers beds and flowers, desks and chairs. Graves. He knows there is one with his name on it. One that is waiting for him. He thinks that if the Infinite and Time are real then Place must be too. He thinks it makes no difference that there are other worlds because all they share is one thing. They are each in their proper Place, no matter where that is.“How much farther?” “Not long now.” He resists the temptation of Fate. He feels it dragging at him, pulling him deeper into the whirlpool of malaise. It is what killed him before. It will kill him again. “Subject status: almost living.” He has walked these lands before. For a moment he remembers everything that will come to pass and he reaches out towards a fading light. For a moment he can break the cycle. “Cycles of time, of movement, of fate.”“I don’t want to do this anymore.”“It’s not about what you want.” Everything is circular, he understands. Prime movement demands it. The origin of things does not rest in this world alone. “What do you want, Bellamy?” she asks. “Why did you say yes to me?” “I thought I could break the cycle,” he admits. “But I walked into it again.” She reaches up to palm his cheek and he closes his eyes. He feels her come close, his lips tingle. Murphy stumbles out into the desert night and does not return again. “It’s just us now,” she whispers and he feels her breath hot on his face. "It doesn’t matter,” he says, “She’s still here with us.” “She’ll always be with you,” she draws back and they stare at each other in the darkness. It is pain unlike any he has felt. There is something horrific slinking in the recess of his mind and he feels a single thought – a memory – clawing at him from below, tearing at him and he feels his resolve slipping. There is something very still, a cloud of grey and white that hovers over him and he can hear it, irrevocably and inextricably linked to himself. He begins to cry. “How do I stop her?” “Only you can stop yourself.” “I love you.”“Not yet.” He begins to apprehend the gravity of what has occurred and what will occur. He throws his head back and howls into the night and the sound of him travels far and wide, over deep ravines and arroyos and fields of blooming flora on a heady summer day past the rushing of a river. It is why he likes America. There is so much uncontested space. She takes his face in her hands and he looks to her in resignation. “What am I to do?” “What you always have.” He nods and begins to fade, his vision dissolving into a twisted oozing cloud of shapes and colors. He can see the man, now a woman, smiling beside him, her eyes boring into his and the shine of the metallic chip embedded into her arm, its symbol shining infinitely in his final moments. He turns to the girl in front of him, her hands still placed gently on both sides of his face and he cannot help the fresh flow of tears. She leans to him so that her lips brush faintly against his. “May we meet again,” she whispers.“May we meet again," he whispers back. He came to himself in a brilliant blue flash of light. He sat up, groaning, and looked about him. He was surrounded on all sides by desert that rolled on to the horizon. He lightly touched the hat atop his head and with a deep sigh stood to his feet. He wobbled, holding his arms out to find his balance and once he had steadied himself he dragged his feet forward. Once, twice, again, and again. He found his bearings and began to move. Dusted boots thudded across a desert landscape.
11276514	dogs were barking	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Nicklas Backstrom, Alexander Ovechkin, John Carlson, T. J. Oshie, Braden Holtby", "Fandom": "Hockey RPF", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by ghosthunter", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-23T00:00:00", "words": "1,167", "Additional Tags": "Curses, Magical Realism", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "Nicklas Backstrom/Alexander Ovechkin, John Carlson/T. J. Oshie", "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Nobody knows where the dog came from. It appears outside Ovi's gate, and it doesn't leave. Then, somehow, it makes its way inside, past Ovi's gate, and he doesn't try and make it leave."When did you get another dog?" Nicke asks. He's over for dinner, which is not an irregular occurrence. Although, in fairness, Ovi getting a new dog is not that irregular either."Not mine," Ovi says. Since the dog is currently romping around with Ovi's other dogs in his backyard and not outside the gate or in someone else's yard, Nicke feels justified in his skepticism. He raises an eyebrow. Ovi is looking at the grill instead, and doesn't see it.And it's true that the dog isn't a German Shepherd, or even anything Nicke can imagine Ovi actually going out of his way to own. It's smaller and brown and has floppy hair and it is barking imperiously at the other dogs. But honestly, this is ridiculous."But it's in your yard," Nicke points out."So?" Ovi counters. Nicke sighs. The dog is there still the next time Nicke comes over for dinner, and honestly, “Ovi, did you seriously get a new dog?”"Still not mine," Ovi says. He's at the grill, again, the dogs are romping around, and again, the strange dog is still there. Nicke feels like he's losing his mind just a little bit. It's all so familiar and somehow just the slightest, tiniest bit off. The strange dog woofs at them. "He's nice," Ovi adds. He knows Nicke doesn't like his dogs - well, 'like' is maybe a misnomer. Is scared of them is more accurate."Don't have to be scared, though," Ovi huffs, and Nicke belatedly realizes that he's said the last part out loud. "You here all the time. They know you, and they're nice. I train them.""All I can think about is their teeth, though," Nicke says. And why? Why is he even telling Ovi this? "Could your dogs rip me apart?""Backy," Ovi admonishes. "Yes, but they wouldn't.""Why would you tell me that?" Nicke asks."Don't know. Is truth," Ovi tells him.The strange dog barks at them. Holtby is wearing his fedora again."It's so awful," Nicke says. Sure, he only meant to think it, but there are the words, falling right out of his mouth. Holtby is used to Nicke's sharp edges, but he still looks startled. And maybe a little hurt. Or maybe not, even though up to this point the only person who has expressed distaste for the fedora is his own wife. "Sorry," Nicke adds, because he is. He didn't mean to say it."Is not nice, Backy," Ovi says to him, once Holtby has gone."I know, I wasn't thinking. Or I was thinking? I think I'm just tired, I keep saying things I don't mean to," Nicke admits."Is not a bad hat," Ovi tells him. Nicke's sure, based on his knowledge of Ovi's fashion sense, that this is not untrue.Nicke makes a face. Nicke starts to notice that things are different.He can't stop saying the first thing that comes to mind when he's talking to people. Anyone, not just Ovi, not just his teammates. He's never been this unfiltered before. And sure, they're his friends, and he doesn't really say anything to them that's genuinely bad. But a lot of it comes out harsher than he means for it to, because he doesn't have time to think of a nice way to word them.Like when he looks Carlson dead in the eyes and says, "Just fucking kiss him already," and Carlson's eyes go wide and ... actually, that's a bad example. Because no matter how many times he's watched Carlson and Oshie gaze longingly at each other, he would never usually encourage this.But now he's actually said it out loud - not in front of other people, thankfully - and Carlson knows that someone has noticed. And sure, it's annoying as shit to watch them dance around each other, so what will the encouragement hurt, really?(Well, the encouragement could hurt a lot of things, in the end, with Oshie heading into free agency. Nicke tries not to think about it too much, when just that past summer he’d watched free agency snatch love away from someone's grasp. Wilson’s moping had been terrible.)He says as much to Ovi in the kitchen, when they're supposed to be playing video games, but really Ovi is wrapping slices of pizza around pepperoncinis. They order separately, because in Nicke's opinion, pineapple does not belong on pizza. Nicke likes his with pepperoni, the way pizza was intended."Okay," Ovi says, taking a bite of his slice. "More for me.""You know what," Nicke grouches, "I'm sick of this. I don't know what's wrong with me. It's been weeks and I just. Spit all this garbage out and it's honestly- "The dog that is not Ovi's dog is looking at him through the door."Your dog is staring at me," he says."Not my dog," Ovi insists.Nicke takes a deep breath, holds it for a moment, then lets go. "Look," Nicke says. "I love you but you have to figure out this situation with this dog."Ovi looks at him with a raised eyebrow."I meant it, and you know I did. Because I say every single thing that comes to mind," Nicke tells him. "And I thought that I just needed more sleep, because I'm not like this. You know I'm not like this.""Yes," Ovi agrees, actually putting down his slice of pizza. He leans against the counter. "But you say you love me?""Well, obviously I'm not going to tell myself to just fucking kiss you already, the way I did to Carly," Nicke says. He can feel himself start to blush, the back of his neck and the tops of his cheeks going too-hot."What if I told you."."Do you want to?" Nicke asks."Only if you want to," Ovi says, insistent.They stand on opposite sides of the kitchen island for a long moment. Finally, one of the dogs barks in the backyard, and Ovi moves around the island to stand in front of Nicke."Only if you want to," Nicke says, echoing Ovi’s words back to him.As it turns out, Ovi wants to.The strange dog barks one last time at the back door, then hikes a leg and pisses on the door jamb. "Hey, where's your other dog?" Nicke asks sleepily, shifting slightly from where his head is resting on Alex's shoulder to look at the array of dogs curled up around them in the living room, but not the strange, dark one who had been playing in the yard."I tell you, not my dog," Ovi says. "Probably it go home."The dog was there for months. Did people not miss it? Did it have a home to go to?This time, Nicke says none of it out loud.
11204412	Rosemary for Remembrance	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Tyki Mikk, Allen Walker, Lavi", "Fandom": "D.Gray-man", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by hilarions", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-15T00:00:00", "words": "17,764", "Additional Tags": "Blackholt AU, Urban Fantasy, tyki ran out of life goals like 2000 years ago and he's just been trolling since", "Relationship": "Tyki Mikk/Allen Walker", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": "Wicked Witch", "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	The order for ox blood arrived right when Tyki had requested it to, and the man who delivered the keg had such a distinct aura of pig that Tyki almost wanted to laugh. Not at him of course (a little at him), but more at the way this seething underbelly of the magical community insisted on highlighting how much authority they had over him. Tyki glanced at his watch. To the second , actually. The truck pulled up outside the storefront the moment it turned to six in the morning, and this was meant to be a display of authority? Yeah, so Tyki wanted to laugh.He stayed leaning against the storefront, watching the wereboar roll the keg of blood for whatever amusement it was worth without bothering to lift a finger to help. He was much more amenable to lighting a cigarette and watching the Brutes assert their authority, after all. The gang's errand boy struggled with the door for a moment too long and Tyki felt the smallest grin twitch his lips, reached up to slot his cigarette between them and glanced away so he could puff out a laugh at the ridiculousness of it all.When he assumed the man had finally figured out how to maneuver a sixty-litre keg through a swinging door, Tyki instructed without bothering to glance over, his voice light with amusement, “On the counter, if you would be so kind.” He grunted something that might have been assent and Tyki heard the bell above the door chime when it swung closed behind him. An amused smile sitting on his lips, Tyki enjoyed the refreshing drag of the cigarette burning in his lungs while he waited. When he returned Tyki offered him a pleasant smile while he blew away the cloying cigarette smoke. “Thanks, lovely,” he murmured, his grin turning more than a little teasing. “Don’t know what I’d do without you.”Ignoring Tyki’s baiting as though he’d been warned (he almost certainly had), the delivery man asked, mechanical and unwilling like he was being forced to read off a script, “Is there anything else I can help you with today? Sir?”Tyki arched a brow, wondered briefly if it was meant to be a joke. “The sage?” he prompted, closing his eyes while he drew from the cigarette.“We weren’t able to get any on such short notice,” the man answered quickly. Too quickly. Aah . Authority. You can have what you want whenever you want, but only the things we want you to have. Bullshit. What the fuck was he going to do with sage? If he was going to limit one of two resources to a dangerous fucker who refused to let his shop be seized, Tyki personally would have cut off the ox blood. They weren't even making a point, they were just being fucking annoying. Tyki gave him a heavy-lidded stare, reached up to pluck the cigarette from his mouth and let the smoke spool out from between his slightly parted lips. The man said nothing, only watched Tyki with a tight jaw. Nervous. At length, Tyki asked lightly, pleasantly, and the slightest touch threateningly, “In the whole city?” Giving him a smile one part indulgent for every three parts razorblades, Tyki lifted his foot from the cracked pavement and reached down to stub the cigarette out on the sole of his shoe. “You seem to be labouring under the impression,” he murmured, flicking the butt into the litter-clogged gutter, “that I am a patient man.” He cast a scathing glance down at his wristwatch. Twelve past six. It had taken him twelve minutes to get the keg in the store and tell Tyki he didn’t have the sage. “If it’s not here in eighteen minutes,” he said, giving him that sharp smile, “there will be issues.” When the wereboar didn’t leave immediately, Tyki closed his eyes against his presence like he could will him away to being productive. “I suggest you make like piggies do when they see a wolf.” And he was so much more than a wolf. If only they knew the half of it. What’s a mob to a king, indeed. He shrugged away from the wall and brushed past the wereboar, making for the door. “Twenty grams of sage, fresh,” he bit as he passed.“You didn’t- Sir, you haven’t paid for…”Tyki silenced him with a look, condescendingly reprimanding, and didn’t bother saying another word before pushing through the door into his shop. He got two steps inside before pausing and sighing at the keg sitting on the floor in front of the counter. Striding up and muttering, “After I specifically asked,” Tyki swiped his arm through some of the clutter and mess that covered every inch of the countertop and cleared just enough space for the keg to sit. He heard something clatter to the floor behind the counter and ignored the fact that this might be the reason the boar had left Tyki to do it himself. With one hand he grasped the handle, imbued a bloodwork spell with a short, frustrated gesture and lifted the whole thing with ease, setting it carelessly up on the sturdy counter.This whole thing was a joke, honestly - what, he had to write his own cooling runes on this bitch? Sure it’d been transported in a refrigerated truck, but a refrigerated truck wouldn't have been necessary if they'd done it their own damn selves. It was shit work, running a supply store in a city whose supernatural community was run by a chaotic do-or-die mob. Tyki was half certain he was the only supplier left who hadn't been gang pressed into joining their liberation fanclub. Thought maybe he should start being concerned about that in the near future, but genuinely couldn’t find it in himself to care. He could leave it for a few more years, surely. Maybe a decade. These things took time, and Tyki was all about avoiding unnecessarily complicated messes where he could.He stretched out over the counter, rummaged on the shelf right below and thanked his luck (though he counted it as design) that there was a permanent marker right where he needed it to be. With a touch more care, the moment of burning frustration with the delivery man receding, Tyki push some of the clutter aside so he had enough space to sit up on the counter. Carefully, he wrote the necessary runes around the top, middle and bottom of the keg. Condensation began forming on the metal and Tyki pursed his lips before tugging a black-stained cloth out from the mess surrounding him. He used the charmed piece of fabric to erase a few of the permanent runes and made a satisfied sound when the keg warmed just the tiniest bit.Temperature was one of the easiest magics out there, and the runes could sustain themselves on a drop of ox blood for a week, so Tyki didn’t even bother cutting his palm for that. Hell a drop of his blood would probably put frost on every surface, and that'd be the end of the dragon liver he was meant to be prepar-Shit, fuck, the dragon liver he was an idiot oh god. Heedless of whatever he kicked off the counter, Tyki swung over to the other side and dashed to the back room, wrenched open the door and paused only long enough to shove his hand in a welding mitt before he grabbed the slippery length of viscera which had been quietly burning its way through his worktable. Without ceremony, he dropped it onto the heatproof tray he’d prepared moments before the delivery man had arrived with the blood. “Christ,” he bit out, looking at the twisted well of blackened, bloody wood in the middle of his bench. And then, because he didn’t have time to revert it - or make a new one, how many charms had he had to work into this to make it functional? - he gritted, “Jesus fucking christ,” and wrenched the mitt off.Shooting the liver a condemning glare, Tyki moved to the quietly simmering distillery at the other end of the room and crouched to squint at the transparent burgundy potion bubbling lightly under a low flame in the round bottom flask. It looked right, and when he scrunched his nose and sniffed at the lip of the flask it smelled absolutely rancid, so that was a good sign. Pulling away and snorting to get the cloying smell of yarrow from his nose, Tyki turned off the flame and found a liquid chalk marker nearby to scrawl a small warming rune on the flask. He added a few more to encourage the tiny spell to draw from the ox blood one room over, and another to erase those runes once seven o’clock hit. And then he moved onto the next job on his nonexistent and incredibly illogical list.No rest for the wicked and Tyki had a lot to do, distracted and methodlessly working through tasks as he remembered them. He had to set up a new infusion of crow feathers, find a supplier of phoenix ashes (somewhere, somehow, fuck his entire job), had that bulk potion order which had been brewing all night and needed to be finished by seven, and he needed to set up a spell - which he would do after the marinade for the feathers was completed and the potion was collected, no matter how much the ox blood tempted him. And the fucking sage, he needed that to finish Allen’s order - god, his order, when was he even coming to pick it up? Because Tyki needed to finish that spell before he arrived too and - fuck, how much blood had he even wanted? How much sage? Tyki hadn’t written it down, he didn't think. If Allen had said. He honestly didn't even know if he had said. If, uh. If Tyki had written it in a place future-him would know where to look.But the recommendations for the feathers was on the feather box, and Tyki assumed he would have written the amount on the same page he’d used as a reminder to actually order the blood. And - fuck it, fuck everything, he was elbow deep in dragon liver when the bell over the door chimed, signalling he was officially out of time with this dumb ass stupid ass health potion - for whooping cough, of all things, like modern medicine hadn’t cured that already. But - fuck, okay, at least it was just simmering and all he needed to do was add sugar syrup for the taste and decant it. The dragon liver would keep for a few minutes, surely, but - fucking fuck, but if it was already seven then that meant his fucking sage hadn’t come in and that meant Tyki would need to do some stuff when it finally did. And Tyki didn’t much have the time for stuff, considering his dragon liver was-God, fuck it, whatever, just. Healing potion, getting back to the liver, slap on the wrist for the delivery man (nightmares-to-be of wolves and pigs in stick houses, and a petty hex to encourage the likelihood of him getting rear-ended on his way back to whoever he reported to) when he returned with half of what Tyki had ordered , not to mention he was - oh jesus oh fuck he had no idea when Allen was intending to arrive.Did he even have time for a quick bloodwork spell? He probably didn’t have time. Certainly didn’t have time to cook up the marinade for the feathers, so that would have to be taken care of later. Nor enough time for a Revelation as he’d intended, but - okay fuck the spell, Tyki would use farsight as a warmup. He still needed the ox blood, had to think for a solid minute before remembering the correct rune to use, as well as something of Allen’s. Like a hair he’d dropped on the counter, or the fur-lined coat he’d never realised he’d left in the store a month ago. Tyki would give it back, of course, but. After he’d had a look at the charms woven into it. (He hadn’t really had time just yet, and he was staunchly ignoring the part of him that had simply gotten used to seeing the coat hanging on the back of his workroom door.)It just came down to what Tyki was more willing to sacrifice. Which, his hair, obviously. Like… it wasn't even a realistic choice. Tyki desperately wanted to examine that coat, but his workload just never fucking lightened. There was blood magic woven into it, and it always felt cool to the touch whenever Tyki absently brushed his fingers across the hem as he passed where it hung in his workroom. It worked something like the alchemy of ages past - it was almost as though Allen had figured out a way to turn a regular item into a magical one without creating it from nothing but raw materials and magic. Which was not only a loophole Tyki knew witches hadn’t started using en masse yet, but was actually quite delicate and fiddly to get right. Not to mention, when mixing the yellow mana of blood magic and the red mana of alchemy, one created a perfect conduit for black mana, which- god, Tyki didn’t have time for this. Regardless of how interesting it was, Tyki shoved the distraction aside and got a vial under the keg’s tap. He filled it to the brim and covered the mouth with his thumb while he swung himself back over the countertop, rummaged through the sample drawer he habitually filled with bits and pieces of all his customers and found the box containing several strands of Allen’s hair, as well as the bloodstained bird skull the little witch had carved with delicate runes of fortune and luck and almost begrudgingly gifted Tyki for the lunar new year. The magic had all run out moons ago, but Tyki remembered that first month had found him with a fresh supply of phoenix feathers (which he hadn’t had in stock for years), a djinn’s wish sealed in a bottle, and a vial of Mirror blood - both of which was more white mana than he’d seen since… well, since that whole hubbub millennia ago when the world was a different place and chaotic magic ran rife and the city he now stood in had been exiled from the world.The skull had been a subtle yet spectacular piece of magic, and Tyki was beginning to wonder just how much truth was in Allen’s statement of being unaligned to blessings and charms. But Tyki figured that the reason all he’d seen of Allen’s magic was the skull and coat was due to the fact that creating those spells was so painstakingly difficult for him that he didn’t really manage much to a satisfactory standard - though from what Tyki had seen Allen’s definition of ‘satisfactory’ was incredibly more refined. Not to say Tyki slacked at all, but. Damn that boy put in some effort.Mirror blood, Mirror blood… he still had that somewhere, didn’t he? Well he couldn’t imagine selling it, that shit was rare. If he were so inclined, Tyki could probably list the number of those blank slate creatures he’d met in his life on two hands - those he’d heard of surviving past childhood, surely fewer than a hundred. And he’d been around long enough to hear of plenty. So, thank you Allen for inadvertently gifting Tyki one of the most remarkable and versatile substances on earth.But the Mirror blood wasn’t the point, and nor was the bird skull. Carefully, he took one of the silver-white hairs and shouldered his way into the back room. He poured the bottle of blood into a cast iron kettle and set it over a gas hotplate to heat. With a short gesture he made water from the air and channelled it to trickle into the kettle until he had enough for the tea. While the blood and water mixture boiled, Tyki raided his cupboards for dried mugwort and wood betony. He could hardly think of a more unappealing mix, and when he threw the lot into the roiling kettle along with the hair and a sparrow feather to steep into a tea the smell was enough to make him grimace.It didn’t take long for the potion to finish, left to simmer for a few minutes, and when it was done Tyki finished the spell by pricking his finger and allowing a drop of his own blood to infuse it. An artificial familiar potion which would guide Tyki’s sight to any sparrow sitting nearby his favourite witch. Twisting his lips in distaste, Tyki poured the tea into a cup, let the blood-and-rust coloured liquid sit and cool for a moment while he dug through a drawer of incense bundles, hesitating over which blend would best support a farsight before throwing it up in a shrug and poking the end of a moon alignment stick into the flame still burning under the empty kettle.He put the stick in a dusty holder filled with ashes and picked up his mug from the bench while he lowered himself to sit in the middle of the floor. He was certain he hadn’t fucked up, but if there was a backlash for any reason Tyki didn’t much fancy concussing himself on the leg of a table. So, taking in deep breaths and clearing his mind of the cluttering thoughts and endless mental reminders of everything he had to do, Tyki let himself breathe in the clear dusky smell of the incense and let himself sink into the ebb and flow of mana currents swirling around him. The moment he was aware of his readiness, Tyki brought the warm mug to his lips and downed the foul mixture. It tasted of copper and pungent herbs and Tyki let his eyes scrunch closed in his disgust but forced himself to drink the whole thing. Disregarding the distraction of taste, he kept himself open and let the magic carry him through the roof of the building, dragging him to follow a bond until he found himself fifty feet in the air, swooping and snapping at insects.Tyki guided the sparrow’s eyes away from the darting bugs and urged it down towards the streets. They fluttered and swooped and it took Tyki a moment to realise he hadn’t projected far from the shop. Allen must be on his way then, but Tyki had yet to catch sight of him. For his momentary lapse in focus, the simpleminded bird carried him back up into the air. Its weightless bubble of lightheartedness tugged at Tyki, urged him to lose himself in flight, and Tyki had to ruthlessly direct its attention back to the winding streets below once more.It was a hassle - sparrows and finches simply weren’t suitable for this kind of magic, their minds too flitting and momentary to meld properly with a caster’s. Tyki often preferred projecting into a cat, or a raven if he could, but sparrows were everywhere and Tyki didn’t want to run two miles on four legs just to find the boy. And - speaking of, the sparrow’s attention had been caught by an insect flicking between blades of unkempt grass growing from cracks in the sidewalk around a certain white-haired boy’s feet.The bird wouldn’t have taken the bait for fear of the witch, but Tyki urged it to swoop past Allen’s legs and snap the grasshopper in its short beak. They were filled to the brim with a simple, all-consuming pleasure when the carapace crunched in their mouth and Tyki almost lost it again. God, but directing a sparrow’s focus was like reigning in a dragon - the bitch just wouldn’t listen. As much as Tyki wanted to sit the bird on Allen’s shoulder and be done with it, that simply wasn’t feasible. To urge a creature to go so drastically against fundamental instinct was nigh on impossible if there wasn’t a legitimate bond between the caster and vessel. Something like the bond between witches and their familiars. Tyki had once managed a similar connection decades ago - a black cat cursed with sentience. She had made a good companion for a short while, but time had left her behind and Tyki moved inexorably forward.The sparrow swooped ahead of Allen and Tyki struggled to keep it within the confines of the street. It fluttered to the ground to peck at a crust of stale bread and Tyki cast its eyes to Allen when he felt the bird’s prey-instincts shudder uncomfortably. The witch was watching them with vague curiosity while he walked, unconcerned and vaguely bored. It was unusual behaviour for a sparrow to snap a bug from around your legs and not disappear immediately, but it wasn’t as if Tyki cared if Allen realised he was watching. There was no malicious intent, and Allen would surely have been more defensive if he’d sensed one.Instead a small, amused smile twitched onto his lips and he pulled a tattooed hand out from his pocket, spread his fingers in a small wave and asked easily, a laugh hidden somewhere in his voice, “Are you following me?”The words were garbled in Tyki’s mind, difficult to understand through the clutter and chatter of the sparrow’s head, but he was pretty sure he got it. Urging the tiny bird to take flight, they fluttered a few meters down the street to alight on the handle of his shop door, cocked their head expectantly down the path to Allen.His laugh was clear like birdsong in the sparrow’s mind, and it seemed to recognise familiarity from Tyki so it repeated the cadence of the sound as best it could before tucking its beak against its chest and chittering happily.The closer Allen got the more nervous it became, and Tyki let it flutter off a short way off while the boy opened the door and held it, watching them with an expectant grin. There was a bit of convincing and a lot of wordless reassurance involved, but Tyki managed to wrangle the bird into swooping into the dim store. Allen followed them in and the sparrow let Tyki guide them over the shelves with a promise of food, certain he had a stock of dead grasshoppers and cicadas over with the rest of the potionmaking ingredients.He found the bag and let the bird peck it open and pluck out a large crunchy piece, more as security for it to stay calm once he left its mind than anything else. From the front of the store Tyki heard Allen call out, “Where can I find you?” and he had the bird flutter back and perch on the doorknob to the back room. He pecked sharply against the wood, the bug still held in their beak, and twisted their head to glance expectantly at Allen.The boy laughed again and vaulted over the counter without hesitation, and the sparrow swallowed its meal so it could chitter back at him.It was a strange sensation, to hear the workroom door open from two sets of ears. It wasn’t like his entire consciousness had left his body, after all, and it was best to remove outside stimuli while performing these spells simply to make sure it didn’t slip away. He fluttered through the open door and didn’t have any difficulty lifting his own hand and letting the bird perch there. While it wouldn’t allow itself to be too close to a predator, the temporary bond created a trust between the vessel and the caster which overrode those instincts. Tyki couldn’t harm the bird without harming himself, and the bird understood that inherently.When Tyki opened his eyes he found Allen leaning against the doorframe with his arms folded, ankles crossed and an amused smirk on his face. Tyki cast him an answering grin, murmured, “Good morning, boy,” and gave a mental poke with what was left of the spell to urge the sparrow out the window he had cracked open for ventilation. “Find your way here alright?”“You tell me,” Allen countered with a smirk. “Do you have my blood?”“I do,” Tyki announced while he stood, brushing himself off and picking up the mug of godawful tea, “and it was a nightmare and a half to get, so naturally it’s on special.”Laughing, Allen observed, “I don’t think you’ve quite grasped how sales work,” but stood back from the door to let Tyki pass.“How about favours?” Tyki offered, arching an eyebrow at Allen as he passed. He grinned to himself when the boy did that thing of his - shoulders coming up slightly, eyes glancing away, lips pursed while he tried not to smile. Always the same adorable reaction, and Tyki really couldn’t blame himself for wanting to spoil the boy. It wasn’t like giving him cheap blood was going to run Tyki into bankruptcy, but he didn’t think he’d much care if it did. He ran the store for fun, after all - if he didn’t have fun with it what was the point?Embarrassed, Allen mumbled, “You don’t have to do me any favours,” and Tyki couldn’t help but huff an amused laugh. “What?” Allen demanded, shooting him a defensive glare.Giving him a wry smile, Tyki dipped down to rummage under the counter for a glass bottle and ended up with a steel thermos. “If you’re worried about owing me anything,” he commented lightly, picking up the marker from earlier and scrawling a couple of the same cooling runes onto the steel, “don’t be.”“You realise saying that makes me more suspicious?” Tyki glanced over and found Allen watching him with something like amusement, something like understated excitement mixed with a touch of apprehension. Elbows propped on the counter, head cocked to look at Tyki and that light touch of pink blush sat so sweetly on his translucently green cheeks that Tyki couldn’t help but remember the way he’d unabashedly pressed his lips to the corner of Tyki’s grin. Fearless, but so, so sensible. “Everything has a price,” he said, those lips curled into a small grin.“Are you suspicious of me?” Tyki asked, his smirk teasing. Of course he was, of course. Anyone who wasn’t was a fool, and Tyki didn’t like fools.Allen huffed a laugh, amusement winning out, and drew his hands back across the counter until they sat neatly at the edge and Allen was standing straight with his shoulders up. Coy rather than embarrassed, and Tyki loved how quickly he shuffled between the two. “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t be,” he said, and Tyki closed his eyes in a laugh.Neglecting to answer, he passed Allen the thermos and gestured to the keg. “Bring that back full,” he instructed and went back through the door to the workroom. Picking up a piece of chalk from his burned up workbench, Tyki bounced it in his hand and regarded the empty space in the middle of the floor. Well they were invoking so he should start from the spirit point. The pentagram didn’t have to be large, and they weren’t casting a protective charm so an open star would do.Tyki knelt and marked five points on the wooden floor, scrawled lines of runes between the points - intuition, strength, subtlety of touch, precision, protection. Not that they’d particularly need any of those, but it had become habit long ago for Tyki to inscribe his circles this way. It took him maybe a minute and once he was done he knelt back on his heels to admire his work, cocked his head to ensure the lines were straight and angled correctly.From over his shoulder he heard, “Did you rune that whole thing?” and glanced back to find Allen peering down at the pentagram, frowning in impressed disbelief. “I was only gone, like, a minute. How’d you do it?” he demanded and walked around, cocking his head to read the lines of ancient script without sparing a glance for Tyki’s smug smirk.“Eons of practice,” Tyki said lightly and bit his tongue when Allen shot him a reprimanding glance.“A hundred and fifty years isn’t an eon, thanks,” he stated and Tyki wondered if he should start worrying about how quick Allen was at picking up his slips of the tongue.“A hundred and fifty- ish years is,” Tyki countered smoothly and stood, brushing off his hands and knees. He tossed the chalk onto the desk and stepped carefully over the pentagram. Making for his storage cupboards, he called back to Allen, “There should be a horse skull lying around - pour the blood in that. And I think I have some candles somewhere too.”“Which ones do you need?” he asked and Tyki glanced over to find the little witch hadn’t wasted a moment in finding that horse skull. Granted he’d left it out after his last bloodwork ritual, bur still. The boy was quick and Tyki couldn’t say he wasn’t glad for it.“Should be four black tapers on one of the desks,” he hummed, rummaging through the bundles of dried herbs and pulling out rosemary, lavender and a gnarled root of ginseng. It was absolutely absurd that the teas for blood magic tasted like piss but the herbs they burned were some of the most delicious combinations. But that was just the way things were.While Tyki was stubbing out the last stick of incense and digging around for one infused with rosemary, Allen stated drily, “If you mean these, I’m sorry to say they’re not tapers.”Tyki glanced over his shoulder and scoffed at the misshapen lump of black wax Allen was holding up like an accusation. “Is there a wick?” Tyki asked, turning back to the drawer and finally locating the incense he’d been looking for.“Yes,” Allen answered grudgingly, as though he could hardly believe it himself.“Then it’s a taper,” Tyki stated and sauntered back to the pentagram with the herbs bundled in his arms. “One on each point,” he directed, gesturing vaguely, “and the skull at the apex.”“Where are your matches?” Allen asked, kneeling to follow Tyki’s instructions and carefully arranging the burned-down candles at each of the points.Tyki settled on the floor opposite him and placed the herbs down beside him, shrugged and answered, “No idea.” Allen frowned and looked as though he had some smart comment lined up, but Tyki reached out and, with a gesture somewhere between a pinch and a click, struck a flame above each of the candles’ wicks.Allen’s frown turned to a scowl and Tyki glanced up at him, lips twitching amusement at Allen’s expression of baffled frustration. “You can’t do that,” Allen stated stubbornly and Tyki ducked his head in a laugh while he reached out to light the incense on one of the flames.“Well,” he reasoned, shooting Allen a smug grin, “I just did.”“No, I mean,” Allen countered, scowl darkening while he struggled to figure it out, “you can’t do that, you physically can’t.” He reached out and caught Tyki’s wrist, dragged it across the circle so he could pluck the stick of incense from his fingers and glare down at his unblemished hands. “How did you do that?” he demanded, scanning Tyki’s fingertips for the slightest trace of runes.Tyki’s smile grew and he let Allen look all he wanted, a small laugh spilling from his lips when he answered simply, “Magic.”Allen turned his glare back up at him and after a long moment he reluctantly let up on his tight grip around Tyki’s wrist. Slowly, that suspicion coming back stronger than before, he said, “You’re not an alchemist, are you.”Tyki opened his mouth and then pursed his lips to try smother his smile. Letting his eyes fall away from Allen’s determinedly questioning gaze, Tyki answered vaguely, “I… have dabbled. In alchemy.”“But you’re not an alchemist,” Allen pressed, leaning forward a little.Tyki watched from the corner of his eye the way the candles lit the underside of his jaw, the plush curve of his lower lip, the arch of his frowning brows. “I’m not an alchemist,” Tyki confirmed, still smiling that amused smile.Allen stayed for a moment, eyes scanning Tyki’s face before he sat back with a breathy huff. “Don’t suppose you’ll tell me what you are,” he muttered and dragged the skull across the floor so he could empty the thermos of blood into it.“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Tyki answered breezily, accepted the skull from him and placed it at the spirit point of the star.Allen scoffed a laugh, not at all surprised, and leaned back on his hands. “Need anything else, Mister I-Don’t-Know-What?”“Spit in that,” Tyki instructed, pointing to the blood-filled skull.“I’m sorry?” Allen asked, frowning, and glanced between Tyki and the skull.Tyki couldn’t help but roll his eyes a little when he stated sarcastically, “Well usually I’d ask for your first born son, but I don’t exactly have the patience.”“Or the orientation,” Allen muttered under his breath and closed his mouth, rolling his jaw to work together a ball of saliva.“Oh,” Tyki remarked, eyebrows arching, “hello. I guess we’ve reached that point in our acquaintance then.”Allen shot him an extremely confused look and tucked his hair behind his ear when he leaned over to spit into the blood. Sitting back and wiping his mouth delicately, Allen stated, “You’ve been flirting with me for months and you didn’t know?”Tyki shrugged easily and began scattering the herbs into the skull, one sprig at a time. He commented easily, “I prefer not to make assumptions.”Still looking to be confused by the whole thing, Allen demanded, “So why did you start?” Tyki frowned, returned his confused look and answered simply, “Because I like you. Why else?”After a moment Allen blinked and admitted, “No idea.” He leaned back on his hands and watched Tyki work, the small frown still sitting between his brows like an unasked question.At length Tyki huffed and reached for the stick of incense Allen still held between his fingers. He stated, a hint of frustration biting into his voice, “I need a clear mind to manifest the spell and you’re distracting me with your silence so spit it out.”“Um,” Allen glanced down at the black candles dripping wax onto the floor and sat up straighter, clearing his throat. “Not, um. I was just, uh, wondering… why?” he asked, hesitant and unsure when he glanced up at Tyki with a kind of vulnerable confusion.Tyki frowned, cocked his head to the side and returned, “Why, what?”Allen’s eyes went to where he was picking at a knot in the wooden floor with his fingernail and Tyki could see that sweet blush of his spreading across his pale cheeks while he struggled to say, “Why do you, um. Like me?”Tyki scoffed and rolled his eyes, muttered, “You really are twelve, aren’t you?” and laughed at Allen’s immediate bitter glare.“Seventeen,” he corrected, biting, and Tyki nodded like it made a difference. It did, it did, but time stopped meaning so much after so long had passed, and it was funny to see the little witch so defensive over so little of it.Returning to the question at hand, Tyki offered, “Why don’t you figure it out for yourself?” and loved how incredibly expressive Allen’s unimpressed glare was. “One reason,” he bargained, and it was kind of endearing in a way. No, it was definitely endearing. The pouty glare, the embarrassed blush, the stubborn set to his jaw.“Because I love how angry you look every time I speak to you.”Scowling, Allen muttered, “I don’t look angry every time you speak to me,” and blushed again when he caught sight of Tyki’s arched eyebrow. “I don’t mean to,” he tried and Tyki snorted a laugh.“Clear minds, boy,” he reminded, waving it away. “I’ll tell you later if you want, but it won’t do for both of us to be distracted by my crush.”“Your crush,” Allen groaned and buried his burning face in his knees, much to Tyki’s amusement. “If you’re a hundred and fifty, shouldn’t you be old?” he demanded petulantly into his knees. “Why do you have a crush?” “Stop thinking about it,” Tyki commanded with a light scowl, “I’m beginning to think the reason you can’t do this is because you’re so easily distracted.”Tyki watched as Allen pulled himself together with a huff, sitting up and closing his eyes. He took a couple of deep breaths, embarrassment receding in the face of a calm, collected, still-blushing witch who was more than determined to learn a spell that would actually work for him. “Okay,” he sighed on a breathy exhale, finally opening his eyes and nodding firmly when Tyki arched a brow at him to ask if he was ready. “So,” he said, gesturing to the pentagram they’d arranged, “what’s this? And why did I spit in the blood?”“It’s a Revelation,” Tyki answered easily and pushed himself to stand. The incense stick still burning dusty rosemary in his hand, Tyki took it to the holder on the counter and slipped it into the hole. While he was up he tugged dark, heavy curtains over the windows and walked around Allen and the circle to close the door to the workroom. When he turned off the fluorescent bulb the room was plunged into darkness, the only light coming from the short candles and whatever seeped around the edges of the curtains. As he lowered himself to sit back down opposite the skull at the spirit point of the star, Tyki finished, “And you spat in it because we’re casting on you.”“See,” Allen sighed a little apprehensive, “I thought you were going to say that, but…”Tyki snorted and shrugged, countered, “Look, if you want to learn the essence of a random rat’s life then go ahead, but what I’m going to teach you is how to discover something useful.”Stubborn but acquiescing, Allen grumbled, “So why didn’t you spit in the blood?”“Because I don’t count and it would be a hassle to break down all the glamours I have to prevent these kinds of spells being cast on me. Not to mention the fact I have glamours to prevent these kinds of spells being cast on me,” Tyki answered drily. “No offence, but you can’t possibly have as many secrets as I do.”Allen huffed a laugh and dipped his head, allowing that. “Before we actually cast though,” Allen added, glancing up from beneath his gold-lit fringe with a teasing grin, “are you going to tell me how to make it?”Tyki glanced down at the bowl of blood and then back over at Allen’s patiently expectant face, the boy’s lips twitching a little when he saw Tyki’s taken aback reaction. So teaching generally included actually, like. Explaining stuff. ...Huh. Okay not exactly Tyki’s forte, but he could try, right? So he pursed his lips and gestured to the pentagram as a whole and said, “I don’t think I have to explain the basics of an invocation circle - start drawing from the spirit point down to earth, air, fire, water,” he gestured and mimicked drawing the lines with his hand. “You’re probably used to sitting at the spirit point and having your bloodspell in the centre, right?” he asked, cocking his head to try recall how exactly the witches casted glamours and charms.Allen nodded and added, “And candles arranged on intersections and points with regard to where you want the energies focused.”“Right,” Tyki nodded, “well… we want them focused on spirit. So the candles draw from the other elements and the lines carry it all to the apex. I take it you know the classes of mana?” he waited for Allen’s nod. “This is an extension of mind reading. We’re rummaging around in your memories for truths - so, black.”Allen frowned a little, concentrating on the lines, and gave a firm nod. Tyki couldn’t help his small smile, enamoured by the attentive focus written in the boy’s face. Allen bit his lip, eyes running over the lines of energies Tyki couldn’t actually see, and asked, “What about backlash? I put the spell in the middle to keep it contained.” He glanced up at Tyki with the question and Tyki saw the concern in his nervous hands, soothed only by trust that Tyki knew what he was doing. He’d been hit with it before, naturally. There wasn’t a witch alive who hadn’t, and Tyki wasn’t much a fan of his own memories of the experience. With the knowledge that Allen had long been practicing magic he wasn’t aligned with, Tyki could only imagine the tenacity he must have to keep throwing himself into it.Once, twice, a hundred times burned, but Allen wasn’t the least bit shy. Respectful, and aware of what could happen if he fucked up. But not shy. So Tyki smiled a coy smile, smug because this was the magic Allen deserved to know. “There won’t be a backlash,” he said, voice gilded in simple confidence. In himself and in what he knew, and in the black alignment of the magic he could smell like dust in Allen’s veins. “The sooner you let yourself believe it, the sooner it’ll be true.”Allen was silent for a moment, contemplating the circle carefully before exhaling a gusty sigh that flickered the low candles. “Magic is stupid,” he muttered, scowling because he understood exactly what Tyki meant.Grinning, he agreed, “It’s incredibly stupid. What does that make us?”“Idiots,” Allen answered with a wry smile still directed at the energy lines of the circle.“Well,” Tyki allowed, “I was going to say geniuses, but. Each to their own.” Allen snorted a laugh and Tyki had to bite back his amusement so he could continue his explanation of the spell they were about to work. He pointed over to the counter, drawing Allen’s eyes to the thin ribbon of smoke trailing and fraying from the incense. “Rosemary.”“For remembrance,” Allen finished for him, giving a small nod. He glanced back and gave an embarrassed grin, reasoning, “I use it a lot.”Tyki cocked his head a little, smiling lightly while his sharp eyes scanned Allen’s face. “You don’t strike me as absent-minded,” he murmured and Allen’s expression closed up in into a disarming smile like the distractingly pretty wings of a butterfly. A couple of pieces coming together, too few to form an image, Tyki grinned and observed, “Rosemary and rue is an interesting combination to make your favourite.”“It’s cheap,” Allen laughed and opened his eyes from that smile so he could look down at the circle, intent on drawing Tyki’s attention away.“There are cheaper combinations on my shelves,” he countered, still watching Allen keenly. Rosemary and rue, rosemary and rue. The two seperate could have any number of properties, and together they clashed and complimented and found completely new uses, the most common being... Rosemary for remembrance and rue for repentance. Eyes on the hands folded neatly in Allen’s lap, polite for all he was tense, the word fell from Tyki’s lips without a thought. “Penance.”His gaze flickered up to Allen’s face, caught his eyes going sharp with surprise before that veneer of pleasantry was pulled back over his expression. “Sorry?” he asked, frowning like he hadn’t heard.Tyki snorted a dry laugh and shook his head, leaning back on his hands while he said, “We’re about to cast a Revelation on you, you realise. Secrecy is just about off the cards.”Allen closed his eyes in another smile and reasoned simply, “If I tell you that secret now it really will be off the cards.” He opened his eyes, shot Tyki a knowing smirk and said, “Then you’d get two off me in one sitting.”Tyki chuckled and shook his head, letting it slide. Allen was clever - and not having as many secrets as Tyki meant fuck all as a comparison, considering he had just that many. More than could be read in a Revelation - more than could be told in a lifetime. Having two or three or twenty wasn’t nothing - it was just negligible. “Well,” he allowed, still grinning, “out of respect for your privacy, let’s not focus on that.”“Respect for my privacy,” Allen repeated with a laugh and it didn't sound forced at all - genuinely entertained, in a way that made Tyki crack a smile with a mirrored sentiment. Containing himself, Allen gestured to the blood and asked, “So what’s in that?”“Bits and pieces,” Tyki shrugged. “I’ll write it out for you, but - herbs to stimulate clarity and focus, more rosemary. Can’t go wrong with that in spells like these. And,” he added, fishing in his pocket, “eyebright,” he stated, holding up a small bottle of eyedrops.“We need that?” Allen asked skeptically, arching a brow. “I need that,” Tyki corrected, “because as easy as I make this all seem, I don’t actually have the sight for it.”“So you’re not an alchemist,” Allen counted, lips curling in amusement, “and you’re not a witch. You’re not a djinn, phoenix or oracle.”“Oracle,” Tyki snorted derisively and shook his head disparagingly before tilting it back to look at the ceiling, dripping the solution into the corners of his eyes and blinking it through.“Not a fan?” Allen grinned and Tyki wiped a finger beneath his eye to catch a drop that fell like a faux tear when he straightened his head.Tyki scowled at the clear drop sitting on his fingertip with the thought that an oracle would have seen it as an omen. He flicked his hand, dislodged the drop and dried his finger on his pants. “If there’s one thing magic can’t do, it’s show the future.”“That’s not all an oracle does,” Allen insisted, still entertained and watching Tyki with a keen interest. Tyki cast him a slyly amused glance, recognising the boy’s leading statements. Digging, digging for answers without asking questions. Enticing Tyki into giving up what he knew without having to ask for it. He was clever, and he knew some tricks. He reminded Tyki of himself a little. A little. It was a long, long time ago that Tyki had been like this little witch, and he realised he was correct now in thinking those he’d learned from had only taught him from amused interest. Amused interest and a brutal underestimation. It was cockiness, he knew. The undeterrable self-belief that no one could possibly be better. It was an integral belief in the face of harnessing strong, wild magics, and it was more often than not a caster’s downfall. So, what should Tyki do? Play it safe, as the fates of all his own mentors suggested?Of course not. Of course not. He was bored and old and had finally found something to capture his attention for a moment - of course he wouldn’t heed caution. His life had never been one of taking a safe route, and Allen would expire long before he posed a threat to Tyki. So he saw all the signs, saw all the warnings, and made an executive decision to ignore each one and indulge the little witch. So on the subject of what an oracle does, Tyki snorted a sardonic laugh at a joke only he knew the punchline to and refuted, “Whatever they tell you, they’re not talking to gods, that’s for sure.” Allen’s head cocked in light interest, eyes silently thrilled in a way that prompted Tyki to continue without a word of encouragement. “Spirits, maybe. Higher elementals. Demons sometimes - they often forget to keep an eye out for those.”Allen frowned brief confusion and stated, “I didn’t think there were any demons left.”Tyki shrugged lightly and reasoned, “I only know what I know.”Allen grinned and leaned forwards a bit, hardly bothering to mask his thirst for knowledge when he asked, “So what do you know?”Tyki arched a brow and smirked, let his expression read that every word from his mouth was an indulgence. “You interested in demons, boy?”“Who isn’t?” he countered, not the least bit abashed at having been caught.“Clever people,” Tyki answered readily and laughed when Allen grinned.“Thought we established we’re idiots.”“You, maybe,” Tyki snorted. With a wry shrug he explained, “There are a few - so far as I know the Leviathan is still kicking around somewhere at the bottom of the seas, but the merfolk and selkies haven’t seen hide or tail for centuries. But when the gods died the demons couldn’t feed off chaotic mana, and had to start consuming magical creatures instead.”“When the gods died?” Allen sat up sharply, eyes on Tyki with such piercing interest that even Tyki’s gut knew this wasn’t a conversation he could worm his way out of. Not without difficulty, or...Fuck it, he didn’t have time to explain the history of the universe. Smoothly he reached out, black mana flowing through his blood down his arm to the fingertips he placed against Allen’s forehead. In a moment, he’d weeded out the delicate sprout of the memory of the past few seconds before it had time to properly take root and sat back, repeated nonchalantly, “So far as I know, the Leviathan is still kicking about at the bottom of the seas.”Allen blinked and frowned, brought a hand up to touch his brow where Tyki’s fingers had rested a moment ago. Confused, he glanced around then back at Tyki. “Did you already say that?” he asked, and Tyki gave an unconcerned shrug. “Why were you…” he trailed and rubbed a little at his frown as though to clear away the fog of missing the past few seconds.“You had something,” Tyki gestured vaguely to his face and shrugged again. “It’s gone now,” he reassured when Allen accepted that and scrubbed a bit more purposefully at his brow. In his closed fist Tyki held the memory, warm and tiny beneath his curled fingers. Allen wouldn’t see if he released it - regardless of the boy's black alignment, Tyki was still the only being he knew of who could perceive a physical memory - but an indulgent desire to keep it held Tyki’s hand closed. He slipped his hand into his pocket and put it there, bound it so it wouldn’t disappear. His brief brush against Allen’s thoughts had been… interesting. Like a flash of everything looking brighter than Tyki remembered, a hundred questions buzzing under his skin and his attention entirely, wholly on Tyki.Allen hummed and bit his cheek, recounted what Tyki had been saying and perked when he caught the tail of it. He tried to try keep his piqued interest lowkey but Tyki smirked when he saw right through that half hearted mask. The boy asked, forsaking any pretense, “The Leviathan is one of the Higher Demons, right?”The warm amusement in Tyki's belly began to cool off at his words, slowly being replaced with something like discomfort. Apprehension, but nothing so strong as that. A slight concern for this boy, and whatever his intentions might be. “One of,” he allowed briefly, and from the tilt of Allen’s shoulders he knew the witch had picked up on his reluctance. “But they’re gone for the most part, and are none of your or my concern.”“For the most part,” Allen pressed, just to see how far he could take it.“It’s impossible to say,” Tyki stated blandly, “so best to keep from thinking about it.”The witch watched him keenly for a long moment and Tyki kept his gaze, patient and immovable until Allen relented with a small shrug and allowed, “Fair enough,” and rearranged himself to be more comfortable in his cross-legged position.Tyki turned his attention back to the circle and, with the eyebright working its magic, could see the faintest current of energies. “For the record,” he said, wry, “I’m never teaching you summoning. That’s fucked up dangerous.”Allen laughed, the tension in his posture melting along with Tyki’s brief coldness when he admitted, “No need. I taught myself, tried a hundred times and couldn’t even call an imp.”Impulsively, Tyki reached out and smacked him across back of the head, just hard enough to give him a shock. “Don’t,” he said firmly, holding out his finger as though he was scolding a dog.Allen scowled and rubbed the back of his head, complained, “Ow?” and looked like he was second guessing asking Tyki for help.Tyki, firm, insisted, “Clairvoyance? Dumb and impossible, but whatever. Necromancy? Really fucking dumb, but whatever. But you’d be better off walking yourself to the gates of hell than having a demon drag your ass there.”“Been there?” Allen muttered, relenting and dropping his hand from his head.“Been there,” Tyki stated, grim. “Don’t fuck with demons.”Allen squinted at him for a long moment before saying, “You’re not an exorcist. They don’t live that long.”“They don’t live long at all,” Tyki agreed, mouth still pressed into an unimpressed line, “cause they fuck with demons.” “Okay,” the witch groaned and rolled his eyes, leaned back on his hands with a huff of exasperation, “I get it. No summonings, no demons. I’ll keep it clean.” “Good,” Tyki bit out and forced the tension from his body in a sharp sigh. “If I have to tell you twice, just know it’ll be me dragging your ass to hell,” he muttered.Allen commented, wry and sarcastic, “Guess that makes you a demon, then,” and Tyki felt his lips twitch in amusement.“Are you focusing or are you shittalking?” was his only retort and Allen snorted a quick laugh. “Okay,” he started when he saw the boy was settled in and attentive, “I’ll write the whole spell up for you - I’ll have to change a few things so it works for a witch, but… How’s your Latin?”He caught Allen’s short grimace and snorted a laugh when he lied, “Passable.”“Well,” Tyki commented wryly, “you may want to work on that. Your invocation will need to be a bit more complex than mine,” he admitted and pulled in a reaffirming breath, watched the energies flow through the pentagram.“Why’s that?” Allen asked curiously.Tyki didn’t lift his eyes from the spell when he answered distractedly, “Because I know what I’m doing and am aware of every way this could go wrong and don’t need to waste words controlling my own magic. Now shut up and tell me your deep, dark secrets.” Allen huffed a laugh but quietened, and Tyki used the silence to calm his breathing and focus his desires, coalesced the spell into a single thought. A desire, bone deep, to know him.Tyki curled his fingers into an invocation sigil, let the black mana in his core flow through his body and imbued it with magic that resonated with the pentagram. Allen wouldn’t be able to do that, witches being conductors of mana more than generators of it, but it was the only way Tyki could connect himself with the pentagram. He blinked, watched the energy feed into the bloodspell. When he was satisfied with its strength he incanted, “Permissum verum fulsi pur," on a quiet breath.Words like golden fire inscribed themselves in the air, burning shapes coalescing into the figures of letters. They shifted and changed, flickered unsteadily while they sought truths from Allen’s memories, and Tyki held the spell together so they could settle, his eyes scanning the letters until they were legible. Allen made a small sound beside him, something like a rabbit finding itself in a fox’s den, but Tyki could only scowl in confusion a the cryptic Revelation. The youngest of witches, for witch he is not This reflection is letting his bloodmagic rot “Well,” Tyki commented, continuing to feed the spell so he could memorise the words. His eyes scanned over the spell and his mind turned them over and over as he tried to determine what it meant. Allen was sitting tense beside him, wound tight as a coiled basilisk, and Tyki gave a dry smile without tearing his eyes away from the burning words. “I could be wrong,” he began, more amused than anything, “but it seems there was a bit of hypocrisy involved in your amusement at my reluctance to expose my true nature.”“A bit,” Allen admitted with a tense laugh and Tyki closed his eyes, watched the Revelation burn behind his eyelids for a moment before he released the invocation and cut off the stream of mana he was feeding into the spell.The room dimmed beyond his closed eyes and Tyki breathed deeply, taking in the scent of rosemary. His pocket was warm with the memory he’d taken, his fingertips were tingling with magic and his mind was abuzz with questions . What could disguise itself as a witch? Several creatures came to mind and Tyki felt a small frown pinch his brows. Witches aligned yellow mana almost without exception. Healing, plant magic, blood manipulation. Anything to do with altering the state of living things. And here Allen was, blatantly flaunting his black alignment. Tyki had thought it was an anomaly - had assumed it was. The boy wasn’t... he couldn't be human, could he?Oh god, no, Tyki shot that idea right out of his head. He wasn’t, he couldn’t . Humans couldn’t use magic, could only take in the mana that existed in the environment around them. Tyki remembered with punity the bizarre power humans had had before the death of the last god, when magic was unlimited and chaotic. Allen wasn’t human. He wasn’t a medium taking in the mana of ghosts and the departed - and he wasn’t a thing like the humans of old . God, Tyki remembered the chaos of white mana. Remembered one of the humans he’d manipulated into helping him back then. White alignment was dangerous and unpredictable. Raw mana, without direction. It only existed in djinns now. Their wishes, their pure creation. Creation with intention; white magic, contained. Well, djinns and Mirrors. Mirrors hardly counted though. Blemished. White blood all wrapped up in yellow mana, like a creamiscle.A creamsicle, which Allen was… not? Tyki pulled in a deep, quiet breath through his nose, seeing what he could smell of that blood. Allen was delicious, he’d known all along, but he’d thought it was simply all the magic under his skin, the black mana Tyki could sense in him. A black and yellow creamsicle? Surely not. Surely. Tyki darted his tongue out, imagined he could taste it, and he felt Allen’s magic shudder like a mouse sitting in the den of a blind viper. Black black black, thick and tantalising, and it was only because he was looking for it that he caught the thin sugar-glass-yellow of a transformative magic. Tyki opened his eyes, lifted his consciousness away from the lower channels of mana he’d been sinking into and pinned Allen’s patiently amused expression with a contemplative look. Patiently amused, like his heart wasn’t pounding black-painted blood around his body five times faster than it should have been. A black and yellow creamsicle. Tyki hazarded the only other viable option, a diversion. “The only thing that comes to mind is an incubus.”Allen laughed and dipped his head, his relief obvious in the way his blood calmed when he asked, amused, “Do I look like an incubus to you?”Tyki grinned, suspicions confirmed. Allen didn't even know. He didn't need to know. God, he was a Mirror. Tyki was almost appalled Allen had let him cast a Revelation. There were only ever three kinds of Mirrors, after all - mad with paranoia, mad with aggressive caution, and dead. All that magic was like a buffet to supernaturals - Tyki wouldn't need to eat for something like ten years if he were inclined to consume Allen. And, well. It wasn't that he wasn't inclined, but. He'd had a Mirror or ten before, and they were delicious. But he'd still be delicious whenever Tyki got bored of him, and he could see this distraction lasting some time at least. So he answered, smug and amused, “You definitely look like you could be," and grinned when it made that pretty blush come back.“Oh my god,” Allen laughed, surprised, and turned his head away with an embarrassed hand pressed against his mouth while tried to beg, “Dooon’t.” The commanding effect was completely lost by the redness in his cheeks and the way his shoulders shook with laughter.Tyki grinned at the cute little Mirror, a hundred unspoken details falling into place. God but the white hair was a dead fucking giveaway, how had Tyki not made the connection before? And of course he was living as a witch, of course. No-one fucked with witches, and if anyone smelled the intoxicatingly thick magic in his blood it was all the more reason to avoid him. Witches were respected and powerful and dangerous, and more magic could only mean more trouble.Tyki hid his small smile and pushed himself to stand, went to the window so he could pull the curtains back. “Guess you get to keep your secrets today,” he offered lightheartedly and Allen made a sound as though daring to hope. Light flooded the room and Tyki turned to find him squinting and rubbing his eye against the brightness before his face scrunched and he caught a photosensitive sneeze on his sleeve. And, be still his heart, the Allen wiggled his nose afterwards was quite possibly the cutest thing he'd ever seen.He sniffed a little and looked up at Tyki with a blissfully hopeful expression, asked, “So you’ve no idea what I am?” with a small grin. Tyki laughed and lied, “Haven’t a clue,” as he came back to blow out the candles, then flashed him a devilish grin. “But I like to think I'm very clever.”Allen rolled his eyes and muttered, “Hopefully not that clever,” but picked up the horse skull and swirled around what remained of the blood spell. “Can I keep this?” he asked, determining it worth another Revelation at least.“I’ll need the skull,” Tyki allowed, “but sure. The thermos should still be around there somewhere,” he gestured around the legs of the worktables and pried the melted-down candles from the floor. Allen looked around for where it might have rolled and Tyki scuffed his shoe through the chalky runes of the pentagram, candles in hand. He'd never been in the habit of leaving casting circles just laying around, regardless of if they were for binding or not. It was more instinct than precaution at this point. While Tyki moved to put the candles out of the way on a clear part of the workbench, he heard Allen ask abruptly, “Is that my coat?”Tyki glanced over before the words sunk in, an easy, “Hm?” on his lips at the demanding tone. Oh. Yeah. That. “Huh,” he remarked as though he’d only just realised the white coat with the furred hood was hanging on the back of his workroom door, “I believe it is your coat.” Lightly, he commented, “Funny how lost things have ways of turning up again.”Allen, not fooled for a moment, guessed drily, “You stole it, didn’t you?” He was already shedding his white hoodie, baring his tattooed arms for Tyki’s silent and almost-subtle appreciation while he stood from the floor and reached to unhook the charmed coat from the peg.“That’s very accusatory,” Tyki stated mildly, making no move to stop him from shrugging it on. Allen sighed happily when it settled around his shoulders, and Tyki’s interest piqued at the subtle swell of black mana he felt flow from Allen to suffuse the jacket. Without missing a beat he reasoned, “You were the one who left it here. Perhaps I was just looking after it for you.” Intrigued, he stepped closer. Now that the subject had come up he wanted desperately to have a look at it - especially considering it was about to slip out of his hands.Allen grinned and lifted a hand to poke at Tyki’s chest, fingers curled around the edge of the too-long sleeve while he countered, “And, what, you never thought to give it back?”“What can I say?” Tyki smirked, reached out to lift one curtain of the open front and peered in at the lining of the jacket. He didn't actually expect anything as obvious as runes appearing where there had been none before, and was a little shocked at the simplicity when that was exactly what he found. The spell glowed a dull burnt orange with alchemy and blood magic, faint beneath the lining of the coat. Distracted, Tyki absently finished his thought with a murmured, “I was intrigued,” and lifted the other side of the coat to find the same runes. That kind of orange glow could only come from a mix of yellow and red mana, and Tyki hadn’t seen a spell so stable in, what, two thousand years?He pursed his lips, quietly impressed, and glanced up to find Allen watching him with a quietly dry expression. Eyebrows arched, he asked, “You good?”Tyki lifted his hands in supplication and stepped back, let the coat fall to sit naturally while Allen let his expression fall into an entertained grin. Tyki, more than impressed, asked, “Who gave you that?” and resisted the urge to keep playing around with it, maybe pull the fur-lined hood up and see if there were runes in there that also reacted to Allen’s magic.“I made it,” he answered simply, and that certainly gave Tyki pause.He opened his mouth, a hundred things to say, and after a short moment settled on murmuring, “Oh.” Allen frowned and didn’t seem quite sure what to make of that response. “What does that mean?” he demanded, almost tense.Tyki waved his hand reassuringly, brushed past Allen and opened the door to the main room. “No, no,” he hummed easily, “it’s not bad or anything. I just… have questions,” he said while he crouched down at the counter and rifled around on the shelves for a notepad and pen.“Like…?” Allen led, following Tyki to lean his hip against the counter and fold his arms across his chest, no longer defensive so much as intrigued.Like, did he actually know what kind of magic that was and just how fucking difficult it was to get right? “How you did it, for starters,” he muttered, finding a pen but no paper.“A clever guy like you,” Allen teased while Tyki stood to rummage around the countertop. “Can’t you figure it out?”Tyki pinned him with a look and stated, “I can think of several ways, actually. I want to know how you did it.”He snorted a laugh like he didn’t quite believe that, but seemed fond enough of Tyki to lean his elbows on the counter and explain, “I dyed some thread in my blood and embroidered the runes onto an inner lining. Took me months to get the spell right, and another three weeks to stitch it all.” He picked a slim leather bound notebook out of the clutter and flipped through it absently, thumbing at the worn edges of the paper. “Not sure why it’s orange - read a few books but couldn’t find anything. But it works,” he shrugged.Tyki reached over to pluck the book from his hands, cleared a small space and flipped to a new page. “It’s the alchemy,” he answered Allen's unasked question while he uncapped the pen and began scrawling the recipe he’d used for the Revelation onto the stained paper. “When mana mixes, the colour changes.” Obviously.“I…” Allen inclined his head with a confused frown, “didn’t know magic could mix.”Tyki arched a brow and glanced pointedly at Allen’s coat before looking back to the page. What, so he'd just been fooling around with magic and had accidentally reinvented a lost art? Tyki only said, “It’s incredibly difficult to get right.”“No kidding,” Allen muttered and pushed up, drummed his fingers against the edge of the counter for a moment while he thought. Eventually he asked, “How does it work then? I don’t have an... orange alignment. That I know of." Yeah, because he hadn't known he'd been black this whole time. That was probably an important amendment. But Tyki knew, and he knew that Allen didn't have a touch of red in him. He smirked and finished up his quick sketch of the pentagram’s setup, teased, “What, a clever boy like you?” and glanced up to catch Allen rolling his eyes in a huff of exasperation.The boy planted his hand on the counter and vaulted over, wandering over to a nearby shelf with his hands in his pockets. Tyki kept his expectant silence while Allen crouched to squint at some of the dusty books there, and it was only when Tyki had held out for a half minute that he shot a scathing look over his shoulder. "Are you going to tell me or are you going to be childish about it?"Tyki laughed and continued with the spell while he said, “No-one has an orange alignment. So far as I know, it doesn’t exist.”“So why does it work?” Allen insisted, standing and leaning close to sniff at a plant growing from a mason jar.Tyki pursed his lips for a moment, considering this whole thing. “The magic,” he said slowly, “isn’t coming from the spell.”Allen lifted his hand to poke one of the leaves and glanced over with a frown. “Well, sure it is,” he countered. “It’s coming from the blood in the thread.”“It’s,” Tyki started and shook his head on an awkward laugh before refuting, “it’s not. When you cast blood magic as an alchemical spell it’s not... it’s a spell, yes , but. The spell is a conduit, not... The runes direct the magic, but the magic comes from you. The coat is just a tool.”Allen still seemed confused. “But I’m not... I’m not bleeding, I’ve never been anemic while wearing it,” he scowled, glancing at his hand to check the tone of his skin.“It’s not blood magic," Tyki reasoned. "It’s not yellow mana.”“But,” Allen insisted, “the runes-”“Are a conduit,” Tyki repeated and stopped writing, propped his elbows on the desk and looked up at Allen with a small smile. He fiddled with the pen between his hands while he tried to explain, “It just so happens that when yellow and red are used together they conduct black magic better than any other alchemy.”This definitely seemed to shock him, eyes going wide in surprise when he remarked, “What, really?”Tyki… might have been concerned, if he was the kind of person who got concerned. How many hundreds of thousands of people in history had died from magical mishaps? From trying new things without knowing what they were doing, or how the magic would react? What exactly had gone down in those few months that Allen had spent trying to get this spell right? But… well. He was innovative, and innovators didn’t always die young. Allen was still alive and well for the most part, and he had a coat that would never be too warm or too cool. Honestly that was a win-win from Tyki’s perspective, and the boy seemed to have done well with his strange witch-magic-and-black-mana alignment up until now. Urging caution at this point would be stupid - and chances were that Allen wouldn’t pay attention anyway. And besides, Tyki had never gotten anywhere by being cautious. How ridiculous, to expect the same from a kid who was reviving lost techniques just to keep himself comfortable in the winter.So rather than make some speech about the delicacy of experimenting with magic, he just hummed ambivalently and went back to the spell, saying, “Someone probably wrote a book on it, back when Exile-” he cut himself short, lips pressed into an unimpressed line while his hand stilled on the page. Was he ever, ever going to figure that shit out? People didn’t know about the gods, they didn’t know where Exile City got its name. They didn't know about the barrier. Just. Stop trying to talk about it. Stop talking about it. He huffed a short, sharp sigh out of his nose and amended, “Someone’s probably written a book on it.”“Why do you keep doing that?” Allen asked, amused, and Tyki almost groaned. It wasn’t even that he was perceptive, Tyki was just bad. “You start to say something, then say something else instead.”“It is...” he sighed, going back to work on the incantation, “far easier. To not have to explain some things.”Tyki could almost hear how Allen’s eyes narrowed when he pried, keen on digging everything he could out of Tyki's slips, “What things?”He cast the boy with his weary expression and when Allen snickered a laugh he didn’t bother to elaborate, just put his attention back to the spell.While Allen wandered around the store, simultaneously distant yet close enough to keep up an absent line of random questions, Tyki continued scrawling down the recipe for the spell on a piece of paper and answering wherever he could be bothered. When he finished it was messy with redactions and notes scrawled in the margin and Tyki held it up with a frown. It looked like every other page in his spellbooks, sure enough, but that probably wasn’t what he should be aiming for here. More on the side of legibility, perhaps. Allen, who had circled back around to the counter, snatched it out of his hand and turned it around to read. Tyki gave him an unimpressed look - one he missed in favour of scanning over the page and announcing, “I can’t understand a word of this.”“I was about to re-write it,” Tyki commented drily and reached out to snatch it back. Allen kept it out of his reach, eyes still scanning the page as he turned his back and leaned against the counter, apparently intent on deciphering Tyki’s notes on the alchemical repurposing of mana. “You can’t use that for a spell,” he said. "It's halfway through a transposition to witch magic.”“What do you mean,” Allen said distractedly, “a transposition? Magic isn’t transposable, is it?”Tyki rolled his eyes and gestured to the paper in Allen’s hand. “You see me transposing?” he reasoned, dry. “It’s possible.” “How?” Allen insisted, peering closer at the notes as though proximity would help him comprehend a theory that had taken Tyki decades to even understand, centuries to apply and probably several millennia to become proficient at.“With great difficulty,” he stated, and stretched across the counter to pluck the page from Allen’s hand, “and unfortunately I’m all out of patience for teaching today,” he added, with a short grin to soften the words.Allen, interested as ever, planted his elbows on the counter and watched Tyki work, cocking his head cutely as he tried to read upside down. “Could you teach me?” he asked, watching Tyki jot down assumptions and calculations.“Not at all,” Tyki answered honestly, rummaging through his thoughts to pull up memories he'd stolen from the mind of a long-dead alchemist so he could try factor in how exactly he was meant to recalculate this as a yellow magic spell for, well. Black mana. God, this was definitely something new. What were the chances the magic would backfire and consume Allen’s body and soul, dragging his corporeal existence through the veil to the dead?...Well, they weren’t negligible, but Tyki had faith in his spells and faith in Allen’s magic and he hadn’t seen a zombie in at least ten years so it would be amusing, if nothing else. Aaaand that… should just about do it. Tyki tore the sheet out of the book, shook it to dry the ink and folded it neatly in half before offering it out to Allen with a small amount of smug ceremony.Allen immediately unfolded the page and read through the spell with a small excited grin. “I feel compelled to ask,” he commented while he scanned over it. While he was reading, Tyki busied himself with clearing a space on the counter so he could lift himself to stand up on it. "Is there any chance this could go wrong?"“Well,” Tyki hummed distractedly while he picked out several sprigs of the sage hanging from the ceiling, and his initial instinct was to say no. The thought of zombies came back and he hesitated. “I mean…”Allen snorted and reminded, “You’re meant to say ‘Not at all, nothing could be safer!’,” and when Tyki glanced down with arched brows he found the boy grinning up at him.“I’m not in the habit of lying,” he lied and dropped from the counter to place the sage on the surface before ducking back down and looking for a bottle to fill with Allen’s ox blood.“Right,” Allen laughed, not fooled for a moment, and Tyki found he was more than a little enamoured by his unconcerned disbelief. Which was… ridiculous and probably very backwards. But it wasn’t like he cared about being backwards. Tyki was far, far too old to care. He liked Allen and that was reason enough to be charmed. He was, after all, very charming.Remarkable as it was, he actually managed to find a container within a reasonable amount of time and... Okay so a mason jar wasn’t ideal, but it was big enough and the lid was probably watertight and - what the hell the boy was probably going to be keeping it in the fridge anyway, what did he care? So Tyki stood and dusted it off a little before handing it over the counter to Allen. He gestured for Allen to fill it up while he pulled a length of twine from under some of the clutter and used it to bind the sage sprigs together.While he wrapped the herbs in soft tissue paper he’d had on hand, Allen asked, “How much will it be for all this?” and nodded his head to encompass the blood and the sage and the spell and Tyki’s wonderful company.“I told you it was on special,” Tyki reminded lightly, leaning his hip against the counter and snapping a plastic bag out so he could pack in the jar Allen handed him, lid sealed tight, and carefully place the sage and folded-up spell in with it.“For the small price of a kiss,” Allen teased, and Tyki glanced up to find him watching keenly with amused consideration.It wasn't hesitation - not really. He didn't seem hesitant. Suspicious, maybe, if suspicion weren't such a bad thing. Cautious. For all that Tyki iterated that it was a favour, that it was a gift, that Allen didn't owe him anything - Tyki couldn't at all blame him for caution. There was a price on everything, true enough. Yet if Allen were to take the spell and the blood and the sage and never step foot in the shop again, Tyki would have no issue. Taking was free. Giving, however. Giving was where Tyki wanted him. Giving was where Tyki would have him.“Or,” he offered with a small smile and a shrug, giving Allen the options. This was no lock-in contract, it wasn't a binding promise. It was a kiss, and just a kiss, and maybe not even that. Tyki did not have a greed for things like these. “You could just take it and go. Consider it a gift. Or a deposit, maybe,” he grinned, folded his elbows against the counter. Allen looked almost confused, watching Tyki with his head cocked in that contemplative expression of his.After a long moment he asked, “Do you even know the cost of what you’re buying?” and a small, amused smile twitched onto his pursed lips.Tyki laughed and admitted, “Not at all. You’re the one who determines the price, boy.”Some short consideration later, Allen's amusement seemed to win out and he lifted himself to sit up on the counter. The Mirror swung his legs around so the he was sitting on the desk facing Tyki, who watched with an unconcerned grin. “I feel as though I should tell you," Allen said with that small smile on his pretty like, "you’re not paying in things, but in gestures,” he stressed, and reached out to curl his tattooed fingers around Tyki’s tie.“How’s the exchange rate looking?” Tyki commented lightly and moved closer when Allen pulled him in. A hand on the counter at either side of Allen’s thighs, stepping close between his legs.“You tell me,” Allen teased with a grin and lowered his head so he could press those smiling lips to Tyki’s. It was soft and slow and tasted like a dare - felt like Allen expected Tyki to try take what he wanted now he had Allen’s lips. But the thing with that was... Well the thing with that was, Tyki already had what he wanted; Allen’s mouth against his and a smile caught between them.They stayed like that for a moment, not quite unmoving, before Allen’s laugh skated across Tyki’s cheek and he pulled back. “Is that what you wanted?” he asked, the edge of that tease still in his voice despite the cute redness of his cheeks.Tyki didn’t break away from their position, only smirked up at Allen and returned, “Is that what you wanted?”Allen blinked at him like Tyki had said something incredibly interesting before he admitted, “Not quite.” His expression slipped into a grin and tilted his head, trailed his hands up to rest on Tyki’s shoulders. “Mind if I try again?”“Not at all,” Tyki allowed and let his smile melt into the next kiss. It was still soft, still slow, but Allen’s lips moved gently against his with tentative insistence and Tyki couldn’t help but respond in kind. His lips felt like hesitation, and there was a reluctant desire in the way his hands tightened briefly on Tyki’s shoulders. A question, and an invitation.Tyki’s hand found the small of Allen’s back and his gentle tongue found Allen’s soft lips, traced against his mouth with light teasing touches until they parted in a laughing grin. Tyki smiled with him, and pressed forward with the softest insistence. Allen melted into it when Tyki’s tongue touched his, shoulders unwinding and a short breath huffing past his nose, and Tyki trailed his hand slowly up Allen’s spine until it rested between his shoulderblades.The Mirror’s sweet tongue returned his teasing touches, brushed against his lips when he realised perhaps he could kiss Tyki too rather than just be kissed by him. Tentative and playful, Allen’s tongue rolled against his, and his hands made their way up to cup Tyki’s neck, his jaw, to play with one of the piercings in Tyki’s ear.Tyki tilted his head a little, nipped at Allen’s lower lip and imagined he could taste the sweet creamsicle blood flowing just below his soft, soft skin. With a quiet sound, explorative and indulgent, Allen let himself fall deeply into the kiss and curl his hand into Tyki’s hair, an arm resting lax over his shoulder. The way Allen’s fingers tightened rolled a small shudder down Tyki’s spine and pulled a quiet, pleased sigh from him. They pressed closer, Allen leaning down further while Tyki’s hips pushed against the edge of the counter, his hand trailing back down Allen’s spine with indulgent shamelessness to rest just above the waistline of his pants. Hand on the boy’s thigh and Allen’s fingers curled tight in his hair, lips and tongues meeting with slow, gentle insistence until the bell above the shop door chimed.Allen tensed up, going still, and Tyki pulled back a bare inch to give him a relaxed, unconcerned smirk. his thumb smoothing over his thigh like a reassurance.“Really?” a familiar voice called out from behind Allen, coloured amused exasperation. “During working hours?”“Junior,” Tyki said as greeting to the nameless Bookman apprentice, grin stretching across his face while he smoothed his hand up Allen’s thigh, the boy's expression still caught between embarrassed and concerned. Tyki stepped away so their position was a little less compromising and countered the Bookman's teasing reprimand while Allen cast a glance of veiled anxiety over his shoulder, “surely you’ll forgive me the freedom of doing what I want in my own store."“Uuuu-huh,” the Bookman drawled sarcastic agreement in a taunt, and Tyki leaned around Allen to arch an amused brow at him. Messy red hair sticking every which way, patch covering his right eye, red-trimmed black coat and the same massive scarf that Tyki remembered wanting to steal from him every time they'd met. At least he always had a smile. Tyki did not miss his predecessor. Allen, cheeks red and eyes shifty with embarrassment, glanced a frantic question at Tyki. He gave a small reassuring smile and tapped Allen's knee lightly in a quiet acknowledgement that their moment was over. Biting his lips to hold back the small smile, Allen glanced down with something like shyness - it absolutely wasn’t shyness, Tyki knew, but it looked like it was and he figured that was the point - and lifted his legs to swing back over the counter and drop down on the other side.“So, hey,” the Bookman announced conversationally, “it's been a while, how’s business, how’s the city? How are you? Who's your beau?” he asked, grinning cheekily at Allen. “Please,” Tyki shot him an amused glance, “don’t interfere with my customer service.”The Bookman brought a hand to his mouth to cover his grin while he muttered, “Servicing,” and followed it up with a small coughing fit.Tyki cleared his throat and turned his exasperated attention back to Allen, who’d picked up his plastic bag and seemed ready to extract himself from the awkward situation the Bookman had constructed like art of anarchy. Voice low, smooth, Tyki murmured to Allen, “If you have any issues with the spell, don’t push it. If something feels off come to me and I’ll tweak it.”“Oh man, LV,” the Bookman spoke up with a taunting grin and came to lean against the counter, just as incapable of shutting the fuck up as ever, “you’re back in the spellmaking business?”“No,” Tyki answered on a sigh, heedless of Allen’s arched brow and the intrigue flashing across his face, “I’m not. It’s a favour.”“LV?” Allen picked up and Tyki pretended he didn't hear.He rolled his eyes when the Bookman let out a comically relieved laugh and announced, “Oh, thank god. Cause, like. Remember last time you were messing around with mana and you ended up with some weird spliced elementals that went wild and had to be hunted down after destroying like three cities in a chaotic explosion of fire, lightning and unseasonal monsoons?”Affronted, Tyki straightened and insisted, “That was-” six thousand years ago, fuck he couldn’t say that, “not last time, that was when I was fucking around with mana just because I could.”“And destroyed three cities?” Allen pressed, far too amused.“Oh-hoho,” the Bookman laughed, “he’s done far more than destroy some cities. Ever hear about how Exile-”“How you never shut up?” Tyki spoke over him smoothly and inclined his head subtly towards Allen and his too-interested expression.The Bookman knew Tyki’s reputation well enough to see the threat for what it was, and oddly had enough of a moral compass to decide that baiting Tyki wasn’t really worth a stranger’s sanity. Tyki was fond of Allen, yes, but lord knows he’d been around long enough to be fond of quite a number of people. He wasn’t anything near attached enough to be beyond ruining him just to make a point and the Bookman knew it. He didn't have to know he was a hostage, right? A hostage against shittalk. Huh. Well, Tyki had driven people insane for less. Bookman knew it, and Tyki knew it, and Allen didn't have to and that was the point. For Allen’s benefit and his own credit, Tyki continued once he’d ensured the Bookman’s silence, “And the elemental thing was intentional.”The Bookman cackled and Allen snorted a laugh and asked, “Is that meant to make it better?”“I would think so,” Tyki remarked with an offended expression. “Willful destruction is fine as long as it’s done right.”Allen looked skeptical. “I don’t think that’s right,” he hazarded, caught between amusement and incredulity. “Three cities. When did this happen?”Tyki tried to shrug noncommittally but the Bookman, being… Well, being a Bookman, he tilted his head and gave a long considering hum. After a moment’s thought he reasoned, “It was before he started running around in Exile City - he totally settled down after that. I mean, comparatively. So it would have been...” he trailed off for half a beat when he opened his eye and caught Tyki’s pleasant smile, his threatening eyes. “I suddenly don’t remember.”“Remarkable,” Tyki didn’t even bother to feign shock. “And here I thought you Bookmen were all eidetic.”“It must have been some time ago, though,” Allen reasoned with an amused grin, most of that exchange going over his head. “Three cities getting destroyed would have been like. A national crisis.” He tilted his head and seemed to consider that, glanced between the Bookman and Tyki. “So you’ve known each other for a while, huh?”“I suppose,” Tyki started to say, but was silenced by the Bookman talking over him.“Nah, I’ve only known Verja for a couple years.” He gave an easy shrug and grinned. “Gramps has been keeping an eye on him for decades - and before that was-”“Circling back to how you never shut up,” Tyki interrupted, unimpressed and nearing the end of his patience, “is subtlety a lost art? The Bookman Clan really is falling into decline.”“Who’s Verja?” Allen asked, grinning at Tyki’s discomfort and extremely happy to pry into it.“Nobody. Shut up,” he snapped when the Bookman opened his mouth to answer and immediately corrected himself for Allen's benefit without prompting, “it’s me. Old name. Doesn’t fit. Why are you here?” he demanded of the Bookman at the end of that short burst, glaring at his unaffected one-eyed grin.Entirely too cheerful, the Bookman announced, “You’ve got some overdue books, buddy! Came to see if you fancy keeping your fingers.”Irritable, he snapped, “Can’t you just rewrite them?”“Sure can,” he admitted with a grin, "but Gramps doesn’t want extra copies floating around.”“They’re not floating,” Tyki rolled his eyes, “they’re fine. Tell him they’re fine. Go make your own.”“Or, hear me out here,” the Bookman countered, “I take them back with me and you rewrite them by hand from memory.”“What’s the problem?” Allen asked, looking completely lost and glancing between the two of them as they spoke.Tyki heaved an unimpressed sigh and muttered, “I stole some records from the Bookman Anuls a few centuries ago and they’ve been bothering me about it ever since.”Bookman, his cheerful voice tinged with exasperation, reasoned, “So just give them back and we’ll stop bothering you about it. Duh.”Allen, eyebrows creeping up to his hairline, repeated, “A few centuries ago?”Which… shit. Shit, fuck, Tyki was so bad at this. He lowered a glare at the Bookman, deeming the slip his fault. Which, well. If he hadn’t been here it wouldn’t have happened. Stupid annoying fucking persistent assholes. “Haaahh,” the Bookman doubled over to wheeze a laugh, “were you lying about your age? Why? What else?”“Plenty else,” Tyki picked up the pen from the desk and threw it at the laughing Bookman’s head, “and because I seem to be the only one who knows what the word subtlety means.”“No,” he giggled, “no no no, I get it. But I’m here to make your life harder , remember?”“So how old are you?” Allen asked, eyes narrowed in painful suspicion.“How old is- ouch!” the Bookman started to answer with some rhetorical bulshit but was cut off by Tyki throwing the notebook at his head. “Old,” he answered simply, seething. “Just,” he gestured sharply, “pick a number.”“You seem stressed,” the Bookman grinned, undaunted, rubbing a hand at where the spine of the book had hit his forehead.Allen looked as though he wasn’t quite sure what to make of the whole thing. Hesitantly, he asked, “Would you like me to let you deal with,” he gestured vaguely at whatever was going on, “this?”“Please,” Tyki breathed, forcing the tension out of his shoulders.It seemed... It felt awkward. That wasn't just Tyki, right? That wasn't just his embarrassment. It was awkward and he had the Bookman's big mouth to blame. So he hadn't really told many secrets, but. He'd absolutely given rise to questions. Questions Allen would want answers to, surely. Knowing Allen, he'd like them immediately. Knowing the Bookman, that wasn't feasible. So, what, did he ask for Allen's number? Tyki almost scoffed a laugh at that. Yeah, no. The boy would come back next week at the latest, and if he wanted answers, well. Tyki was fairly certain he'd be seeing him sooner than that. But. It was still... uncomfortable. From his wavering hesitation, Tyki knew Allen could tell.The Mirror cast a quick glance to the Bookman, the annoying redhead waiting with for one of them to make a move with an amused smile. Tyki could practically see his mental shrug when he decided to disregard the Bookman and pin his silver eyes on Tyki. A hand on the counter, he leaned across and reached his fingers to trace Tyki’s jaw and guide him closer. Lips brushing against Tyki’s cheek, he breathed with a grin, “Guess you weren’t lying about those secrets, Verja.” Hearing that name on Allen’s tongue rolled a tremor down Tyki’s spine, trembling in his hands against the urge to drag his fingers through Allen’s hair and pull him into a kiss. “Mind if I try that Revelation on you?” Tyki could hear his grin in the whispered question, felt his own lips twitch with a smile.Allen’s fingers trailed along his jaw back into his hair while Tyki murmured, voice curling in amusement, “Well sure, you can try. I’m not shedding my glamours for you.”“Ideally,” Allen laughed quietly, his fingers twining in Tyki’s hair, “you won’t have to.” He tugged sharply, without warning, and Tyki jerked away with a quick yelp when he felt Allen actually rip a few hairs from his head. Already dancing away from the counter, five long dark hairs held in his fingers like a trophy, Allen smirked and swiped the plastic bag with his blood and sage from the counter with his free hand. Already making for the door, Allen grinned and mocked, “Thanks." Smug as anything, he turned his back and sauntered a few steps to the front of the shop. At the door he twisted to face them, pulling it open so the bell chimed overhead. With a cheeky grin he added, “You should give the blind rabbit his book back,” and only paused to blow a kiss and flutter his fingers before disappearing outside.There was silence for a moment before the Bookman gave a long, low whistle and remarked, “Wow. You just got played, my friend.”Tyki slowly dropped his hand from the back of his head, the sharp sting already fading, and slipped his fingers into his pocket. “Well,” he said at length, his distant expression defining itself into a competitive grin, “I got something of his too,” he reasoned and drew out the memory, held it up for the Bookman to see. It looked like a black gem, bound as it was in mana, but felt as light as air - and just as insubstantial, to anyone but Tyki.“Is that,” the Bookman squinted when Tyki placed it in the air between them, letting it sit there unsuspended, “a memory?”“Just a small one,” he smiled and spun it on its axis, watching the black facets catch the light. “A hundred thoughts flitted through his head in a handful of seconds,” he murmured almost mesmerised. “He’s quick,” he grinned and caught the spinning memory in his hand. “He’s interesting.”“If you’re betting on him figuring you out,” the Bookman asked, “why bother lying to him in the first place?”“Come on, Red,” Tyki smirked, pocketing the memory, “haven’t you ever been bored before?”“Working for Gramps?” he scoffed a laugh and nodded. “Yeah, I’ve been bored plenty. Never used it as a reason to play mind games and steal memories,” he added drily, “funnily enough.”“If I didn’t think he could handle it I wouldn’t bother,” Tyki rolled his eyes, “obviously.”“Okay,” he allowed doubtfully, “but what did you do to him? Like, apart from steal his memories.”Tyki frowned confusion and asked, “What do you mean?”The Bookman tapped the black patch over his right eye and observed, “He was just. Drowning in black. Tryna say that wasn’t you?”Tyki huffed a laugh and glanced away, shook his head while he leaned his hip on the counter. “Wasn’t me,” he swore, “honest to god. Why do you think I’m so interested in him?”“Never heard of a Mirror aligned black before,” he commented, and it was only then that Tyki recalled the kid had an oracle’s eye under that patch. Yeah, oracles were useless at telling fortunes, but they could still see natural truths - including, apparently, a Mirror’s true nature. “Usually they’re all white, wrapped up in yellow. Like… like a-”“Black creamsicle,” Tyki finished for him, nodding with a grin twitching his lips.The Bookman opened his mouth as though to argue, but pursed his lips after a moment and shrugged. “I wasn’t thinking along the lines of food, personally, but. I mean. Each to their own. I’m still mostly surprised that you let him walk out of here without, like. Taking a chunk out of him.”Tyki cast him a scathing glance and observed, “You really have a low regard for me, don’t you?”The Bookman spread his hands in exasperation and countered like it was a valid argument, “Everyone has a low regard for you, LV. Have you stolen so many memories that you’ve forgotten half the shit you’ve done?”Tyki lifted his finger and opened his mouth, knowing he had something for this and trying to put the thought together. “Collecting memories actually makes me stronger,” he said at length, “so. I don’t actually forget anything. Like, ever. It’s not in my nature.” After a brief silence he finished, “So no, I haven’t forgotten.”The Bookman snickered and remarked, “I like how you didn’t actually bother trying to defend yourself there.”“What’s to defend?” Tyki snorted a laugh and pushed away from the counter, making for one of the drawers way down along the endless counter. “It’s not possible for a human to live without fucking up somehow. Look how long I’ve had to rack up sins.”“Sins,” the Bookman laughed. “Your existence is a sin.”“You really feed into that propaganda?” Tyki smirked over his shoulder. “I exist here just as naturally as the gods did. And look where being omnipotent got them.”“Dead,” the Bookman answered the rhetorical statement. “At your hands, I’ve been led to believe. I wouldn’t know though,” he added drily, “considering you stole our records on Lucc’d Verja.”“For research,” Tyki defended lightly, tugging open a drawer and finding the tome exactly where he’d left it however long ago.“On yourself?” the Bookman elaborated incredulously.“On your records,” Tyki corrected, “and their accuracy.” He dropped the thick, heavy book on the counter in front of the Bookman.Looking down at the dusty cover, the Bookman asked, unimpressed, “Why did it take you three hundred years to do that?”“It didn’t,” Tyki shrugged, “it was just funny to see how long I could inconvenience you for. Was it annoying?” he grinned. “Very,” the Bookman muttered and flipped open to a page at random and flicked through, checking to make sure he hadn't changed anything or blacked out words or torn out pages or just generally vandalised it in any way. Which he hadn't. Not that he hadn’t tried, but the Bookman Clan was thorough with their protection enchantments and he hadn’t been bothered enough to find a way to break through them. With a heavy sigh the Bookman observed, “Guess I don’t have a reason to stick around like a thorn in your ass anymore.”“Guess you’ll just have to piss off,” Tyki nodded in a mockery of regretfulness.“Or,” the Bookman countered, “I could inconvenience you for a bit longer.”“Please don’t,” Tyki stated, dry.“Beg all you want,” he shook his head like an apology, “there’s no god to hear you.”Tyki sighed and rolled his head back to glare his exasperation at the ceiling while he suggested, “I could physically remove you from the premises.”The Bookman didn’t even bother to hide his laughter at that, throwing his head back and shaking it. “No,” he said between chuckles, “no you couldn’t.” And, well. Tyki hated that he was right. The Bookman Clan had certain… perks. Their endless, unaltered records held even the ancient magic the rest of the world had forgotten, and that meant they got all the unbreakable glamours and barriers they wanted. It wasn’t like there was a god Tyki could kill to destroy them this time around, so the Bookmen were, in essence, untouchable. “So,” the readhead stated, dropping his elbows on top of the book and cupping his chin in his hand with an obnoxiously intrigued smile, “LV’s got a paramour, huh? Should I make a note of that?”Without missing a beat Tyki countered, “Should I rip this entire block of time from your precious memory and leave you to pick up the pieces?”The Bookman smiled sweetly and sighed, “Oh, Verja. You know you can’t fuck with a Bookman’s memory.”Tyki arched a brow and dared, “Try me.”He ducked his head with a laugh that shook his entire body and said, “I hear Gramps already did.” He glanced up with a teasing grin and entreated, “To refresh my precious memory, how did that go for you?”Tyki glanced away on a sigh with his reluctant admission of, “Not great, honestly.” Yeah, he remembered what it felt like to have his essence torn from his vessel and pinned immobile to a wall like a living tapestry in the Bookman Clan's Library for, what, three years? Until they got bored of the decor. Not fun. See, he didn't cross the Bookman Clan for a reason. Tried that. Didn't work. “Sooooo,” the Bookman drawled out, his chin propped in both his hands like he was trying to look cute, “what’s his name?” he asked like a middle schooler prying for information on a crush.“Why,” Tyki asked skeptically, “would I tell you?”Smoothly, the Bookman answered with that easy smile, “So I can make an accurate record of the first person you hollow out and drive to insanity after five hundred years of uncharacteristically good behaviour.”“Five hundred years, huh?” Tyki remarked, not even blinking at the rest of it. “Has it really been that long?”The Bookman grinned and offered, “Happy anniversary, you bloodthirsty beast.”“I mean,” Tyki scoffed, “obviously not. Not if I can go five hundred years.”“After…” the Bookman pretended to think, “how many years of scourge and carnage?”“You’re going to need a bigger measurement of time than years,” was all Tyki responded with.“Okay,” the Bookman waved it off, “okay. But seriously, honestly, what’s his name?” When Tyki arched an unimpressed brow he fluttered his lashes and pressed a hand to his heart, saying, “As a friend and confidant.”“As insurance for you to take my book and leave?” Tyki bargained.The hand on the Bookman’s heart clutched at his shirt and his expression turned comedically pained. “You want me… gone?” Tyki kept his unimpressed face unmoved until he dropped the simpering act with a defeated sigh and groaned, “Alright, I’ll go. Only if you tell me though.” He grinned and pointed at his covered eye before reiterating, “The truth.” Friend he was not, confidant he was not, and surely he’d leave by his own means if only Tyki ignored his baiting, but Tyki found himself grinning and answering, “Walker,” regardless. “Allen Walker.” As ridiculous as it was, it felt good to say his name. The words tasted sweet on his tongue. As sweet as Allen’s lips on his, and the intoxicating magic bubbling just below his skin."I'm sure," the Bookman remarked, voice filled with amusement while he flipped to the index of book, "there's a chapter here..."Tyki arched a brow and remarked, "Surely not of people I've given half a shit about. Not a whole chapter." "Hah," he laughed at that and flipped the heavy book open to a certain page, "nah. People you've royally screwed over."Skeptically, he asked, "Isn't that... the whole book?"The Bookman opened his mouth, about to come out with a witty comment. After a moment he tilted his head and considered, "Actually. Yes, yeah, just about. God, does that bother you?" he squinted up at Tyki. He hummed a question and the Bookman elaborated, "You know, being a massive dick since like. The beginning of time."Tyki pulled in a deep breath while he contemplated before admitting, "Can't say it does." The Bookman snorted a laugh and snatched a pen from the mess on the counter, printing Allen's name in a margin with tiny, neat handwriting. "What about you?" he countered and the Bookman glanced up with a questioning hum. "Do you get a book written about how you're a massive pain in my ass?"The Bookman threw back a laugh and snapped the heavy tome shut, picked it up and put it under his arm. "Man," he chuckled and pocketed Tyki's pen, making for the door, "I wish."
11242392	Grand Designs	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": null, "Characters": "Erik Lehnsherr, Peter Maximoff", "Fandom": "X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "General Audiences", "author": "by IreneADonovan", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-19T00:00:00", "words": "507", "Additional Tags": "dadneto, Road Trip, father-son bonding, Erik is a Father, Introspection", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "Erik Lehnsherr & Peter Maximoff, Erik Lehnsherr/Charles Xavier", "Series": "Rush and Beer, The \"Rush and Beer\" North American Tour", "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": "Gen, M/M", "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	The drive to Philadelphia was a short one, but Peter was fidgeting the whole way. Erik supposed it must be difficult for him to stay slowed down for a car trip that he doubtless could have done on foot in a few minutes.He was reading War and Peace at an absolutely dizzying speed. He consumed the entire novel in under an hour, then dropped it back in his backpack, looking bored.“Why did you do it?” he asked, seemingly out of the blue.“Do what?” Erik was pretty sure what Peter was asking, but he wasn't going to go there if Peter was really asking something else.“All of it. The whole terrorist thing. And why you walked away from the Professor, when the two of you were clearly meant to be together.”“Because I was young and arrogant and stupid.” No point in sugarcoating it.“Dude, you were older than I am now.”“And your point?”“Still, why?”Erik sighed. “Because I believed it was necessary. I didn't believe there could ever be peace between mutants and humans, and all I'd ever known was war and fighting and vengeance. There was just no room in me for compromise or tolerance or love. So I fought, and made speeches, and all of those idiotic grand gestures, grand schemes, grand displays of power. Saving the President was supposed to have been one of those, but I was too late.”Peter stiffened; that last part clearly resonated on some level.The highway rolled before him an endless ribbon of concrete and iron, and though it was cliché, it made him consider the trajectory of his life. “I left Charles because I couldn't believe in what I saw as his naïve vision of peace. And I knew he didn't believe as I did, that war was inevitable.”Peter had gone absolutely still. “So what changed your mind?”Erik didn't answer immediately, let the silence stretch before him. “I'm not sure that it has, not entirely. I still don't trust humanity to do the right thing. I'm just done with fighting, for now. When they make a move, I'll be ready, but I'm not taking the war to them any more.”Now it was Peter's turn to be silent, to reflect, though it lasted only moments. “So Apocalypse?”“Caught me when I was angry and grieving and vulnerable. All I could see was that the humans took my family, so when I was offered the opportunity to destroy them all, I took it.”“So what made you stop?”“I realized I was about to destroy the only family I had left. A family of choice,” he met Peter's gaze and offered him a soft smile, “and of blood.”Peter said nothing for a moment, but his face lit like a kid in a candy store. “Thanks,” he paused and then, “Dad.”Erik's face lit to match Peter's. You're welcome,” he paused to give his last word more weight, and his voice cracked, just a little, as he said it, “son.”
11208510	life is full of	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": null, "Fandom": "Hit the Floor (TV)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Mature", "author": "by snjeguljica33", "chapters": "4/4", "completed": "2017-06-20", "published": "2017-06-15T00:00:00", "words": "4,570", "Additional Tags": "Jude and Zero - Freeform", "Relationship": "Jude Kinkade/Zero \| Gideon", "Character": "Jude and Zero - Character", "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": "Hit The Floor ➻ Gideon \| Zero / Jude Kinkade", "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Zero stood beside the open window. Rain is a little bit cooled the city. He took a couple of minutes between two meetings to rest briefly and catch the air. These days it's really hard. Meetings, negotiations, premieres ... it seems to be no end in sight.It's been five years since he became the owner LA Devils. Since when Oscar finally ended up in jail for a double murder.Sometimes he thinks it was a strange combination of circumstance. He was at the peak of popularity as one of the top ten NBA players then, and he couldn't imagine he would be here one day.The world was under his feet. Club won all the titles it could have. He had already done everything he had imagined as a child. And then the Oscar "dropped" and LA Devils begins searching for a new owner. While everyone was afraid of what was going to happen, and a few serious interest-earners competed for the purchase, Zero got a message to come to a meeting at a nearby restaurant.He was cautious when he met with a group of lawyers. They explained to him that they are here on behalf of a partner who wants to propose to buy a club. Give suggestions and give them time to think about that.Zero a couple of days really consider everything they propose. He also had enough money with which he didn't know what he was going to do, so the partner had to invest only a part. He didn't know anything about running the club, but he would hire a team of people to help him. And their most important condition was that the partner wants to remain silent.He was here now, become a successful businessman. The club has become even more successful. Both in business and in sport sense. He could have been proud of himself. The only thing that was quite tired and even more lonely.The pause is over, the obligation is due. He took a deep breath and started to do her dutiesJude has been tracking everything in the club for the last few years. At any moment he could jump if there were any need, but everything was fine. They chose well.Jude was Oscar's son. At that time, her mother worked at LA and was briefly in relationship with Oscar, but when she told him she was pregnant, he broke every contact. Susan returned to her native city of Memphis and raised Jude himself. Her parents were local wealthy, Jude never nothing was lacking, not even the father. Mother married and his stepfather always loved him as if he were his own.Jude knew who his real father was and where he lived. He also knew Oscar was the owner of the largest club in town. He didn't follow basketball, perhaps only occasionally, neither Oscar's life and work.When they found out about Oscar's arrest, it turned out to be worse than what they assumed. Jude talked to her mother to keep the club in its possession. That's why they sent the team to negotiate with Zero.Jude had his law office with several partners, and he occasionally had to deal with one or another business. Actually, the job at LA Devil almost didn't require any engagement, except to learn something about basketball. If he were honest, he would have to admit that all this was done just because of Zero. He even sometimes looked at his old games.Zero increasingly thought of who could be that silent partner. Despite all his connections, he has not been able to find out anything yet. It will leave it for a while.He decides that it's finally time for a longer vacation. The team worked great, it was a break between two seasons. He wanted something quite different and he booked a house in Memphis. It will probably be far enough from the everyday life.The house is fully equipped. The owners have made a great effort. When he ponders think what he can do. Since when he doesn't play actively, fans have recognized him less and less, yet he puts baseball cap and glasses and goes on to research.Visit a nearby restaurant in which food is great. There are several interesting places around. He thought he had not been in relationship for a long time, and had no need to take someone with him. Somehow he used to be alone.After a few days, become more relaxed. Sometimes he's staying in the house and reading, or something cooked. He wanted to look around and hired car. Runs for hours without a specific goal. Suddenly the vehicle in front of him starts to roll over the road. Apparently his tire cracked. The driver somehow turns and flips aside and Zero behind him." Mister, are you okay?" Zero asks when both come out of the car.Jude looks at him in shock, so he tries to assemble "It's okay, I guess it's a tired " he turns to the car because he cann't believe what's go in on.Zero persists that he wants to help him, and Jude agrees. He doesn't want to be rude and invite him to a drink at a nearby bar to thank him.The conversation started in the usual course, and Jude relaxed a little. Zero is a very pleasant interlocutor. In the end, he give him his phone number if he in the mood to show him the town or want a dinner sometimes. Greetings are going every time on their side.Jude on his way home still cann't believe what happened. He thinks that in reality Zero is a different person than he imagined, and was pleased with their choice.Zero liked Jude very much. Targeted, smart and fun. What he looks good is just a bonus. At that thought he laughed at himself. Long has not been with a man, and he had no idea if Jude was interested. He just hoped he would call him. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Jude cann't decides whether to call him or not. He liked Zero. On the other hand, he was afraid he didn't say something which he would reveal himself. At the end curiosity prevails and he calls. Zero is delighted. Agreed a visit to the places which Jude suggests. After noon, walk in a pleasant walk and sightseeing. They talk like they've always known. Jude tells him about his city, wanting to show him as much as possible valuable places. Zero is having fun, he doesn't remember when he was the last time in such a mood. Jude is an excellent guide. In the evening Zero asks would he like to have dinner with him in return. Jude laughs "OK, I'll take it." Zero has always liked to cook, it relaxed him, and he cooked great. Jude searches for wine glasses, then sits on the table while waiting and entertain him. Dinner is really delicious.After dinner, Jude thanked him and saying he had to work tomorrow. They go home happy for the days they spent together. He didn't know if he wanted to extend this, but he knew he had not been so happy for a long time.A few remaining days Zero vacations spent together as much as Jude's job permits. They have many common themes, entertain them and interested same things. Visits theme park having fun like kids. Obviously, both needed relaxation.On leaving, Zero thanked him for everything. Jude laughs "It was nothing, I was pleased." Greetings on departure and Zero fled to LA.From the airplane, Zero sends hima a message. Jude laughs. And he will miss him too. He hadn't friend a long time ago.He wanted to tell him about his relationship with the club, but he didn't know how. Maybe he'll never see him again, but he still felt guilty. He liked Zero and wasn't glad to lie to him. He was silent for one more reason, though he did not physically look like an Oscar, he feared Zero might think he was the same as he did.After Zero vacation, for both life returned in the same boring routine. Sometimes it would be heard by phone, sending a message, it seemed that both of them wanted to stay in touch. Zero has several times invited Jude to visit him. Jude always apologized with work, so Zero gave up. Jude continued to wonder if he wanted something with Zero or not.Zero doesn't want to bother him, though he wants a lot more. Sometimes he would look at the pictures he kept in the cell phone. He would masturbate and imagine his body under his. He would never admit this to him because Jude apparently considered him only as a friend.Today is one of those days when nothing goes out of your hand. You cann't even do the simplest thing, and then you're still angry about yourself. After the last meeting, Zero went to the office to pick up some papers before he finally got home. The secretary is long gone, then he sees someone waiting him. He already thinks how to get rid of it quickly, when a man gets up."Jude?" He says surprised while giving him a hand on the greeting " Waiting for me long? "Jude shook his head "Maybe half an hour, it does not matter, I've looking around trophies and pictures. Interestingly."Zero suddenly feels a lot better "How Did You Get Here?"Jude turned to his suitcase "I came for work, and to bring you to dinner, if you want?"Of course I want, Zero thought "OK, just to pick some papers."Zero put Jude's suitcase in the trunk and drove them to one of the better restaurants. He wanted to make it a bit important. Jude doesn't even notice it, he just wanted his company.After dinner Zero asks him to stay with him if there are no other plans. Jude agreed slightly shyly.The apartment is huge, furnished according to size. Very pleasant. Zero takes him to his room to put things down. He showed him where the bathroom was and the things he would need if he wants to take a shower.While Jude was showering, Zero made them coffee and pulled out a cold beer and sat in the living room. He changed to a more casual clothes. Jude gets dressed in a shirt and jeans, his hair is still wet. Zero turns around the room with a little nervous asking him what he wants to drink. Jude accepts beer. They talk and watch TV a little bit. Zero attempts all forces to not say something inappropriate.Jude after a beer says he's tired. Zero wished him a good night and said that he would still finish some papers from work. When he sees that he cann't concentrate, he go to sleep too. He cann't sleep some time, because his thoughts are coming back to Jude in the room to his. Try to get a grip. What's up to me? Jude is so nice and polite, I don't want to think that I'm a lunatic, thought scared as if he were going to read his thoughts.***When he awakens, he seems that's Jude already awake. Dressed just in the boxer's skirt towards the sound of the kitchen. He stays at the door and looks at him as he prepares coffee.He was already in the shower and wears only boxers too. Zero from looking at his body throbbing blood, but somehow assembled "Good morning."Jude replies "Good morning. I hope you don't get angry that I was free to make coffee?"Zero came and took the cups out of the closet "Of course I don't, thank you. Did you sleep well?"Jude nodded "Thank you for taking me to the apartment"Zero sips coffee in both cups and gives him one "Always" He said with a smile.While Jude took the mug, he accidently touched his hand. Suddenly all his curiosity and fear flew through the open window. He took both cups and put them on the bar at a speed that Zero barely managed to track and attracted to him. Their lips join in a desperate kiss. Zero quickly reaches, covering both sides his ass and joining their half hard dicks. They stretch their thighs as they fight for air, while they still kissed.Jude threw him at the first wall, wanting to find some stronghold. Put his lips down on his throat and gently slit it. Slowly descend one to another nipple until they become stiff and sensitive. Then to the perfect stomach. His tongue goes over the edge of his boxer's shirt, torturing him to the edge of endurance. He's already on his knees now. He looked at him before he dumped Zero boxer. His penis is tough and wet of precum. He rubs his balls with hand and passes with tongue over dick head and begins to suck it. He pushes his arm between his legs, and Zero spreads his legs more. His finger look for the entrance and while the sucking dick pushed a finger into Zero hole. It adjusts the rhythm of the finger and mouth, and totaly blow his mind. Zero put hands down in his hair, careful not to be rough, but Jude did not release the squeeze. It doesn't take long to let cum in his mouth in ecstasy. Jude slowly stood up and wrapped arm around his waist, fearing not to fall. Kiss him and smile with that kid's innocent smile.Jude still has boxers From which they are noticed a stone erection "Come. Or do you want me to wear you?"Zero laughed and grabbed him by the hand. Take him to the bedroom. He lays on the bed and watches Jude pull up his boxers. "This time I want to know how it is ..." so he pulls the condom and lube out of the drawer and put it down on the bed.Jude sits between his legs and takes lube in the hand "Are you sure?"When Zero nodded and spreed his legs wide open, Jude squeezes lube in his right hand, watching him constantly in eyes "I hope we have time?"Zero cann't even talk from expectation and excitement, but he raised his knees in the call sign.Jude approaches even closer, but doesn't touch him. With hand he passes over his stomach and thighs, long and gentle. Zero is impatient, but Jude holds the same tempo. With his hand he pulled Zero dick a few times, until kiss his mouth long and passionate. Then he lubricated other hand and began to circulate around Zero entrance. He feels his own painful erection, but ignore, wants to make Zero first time unforgettable. He pushes one finger inside, out, circles, and the other finger, in, out, circles and scissors, wanting to prepare him well. Zero is crazy of desire, but Jude works all in slow motion. He wanted someone to do this for him a long time ago. Now he has in some way got the chance to fix it.When he pulled out his fingers, he put on his own cock condom and lubricated through it and still around the Zero holes. Kiss him passionately and finally put the dick at entrance his desirous hole and start pushing. First slowly, little by little, until it reaches the end. Stop and relax for a some time to relieve pain. Then the shimmering rhythm is light. There is a blow to the end, out, inside ... Zero catches the air. The pleasure is unreal, the pain a little by little disappears, and the orgasm is growing somewhere in the depths of his center, which when it explodes the shakes his body seems all the eternity. Immediately after this, Jude pulls dick out of him, removes the condom and cum of his stomach with a loud scream. Zero has never experienced anything so intense. Jude laughed and pulled him to the lap, wishing to prolong the moment of intimacy and pleasure. Zero put both hands on his back and whispered "thank you" wanting to have a stronger word to describe what he feels right now ... ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- For the past two days, Zero has canceled all meetings, forgot his obligations, told the secretaries that he was ill. This has not happened in the last five years, but he didn't care. From that night when Jude came, they didn't leave the apartment, better said didn't leave the bed. OK, here and there, thay something eat, took a shower, and again in the circle. This was already a sex marathon, but apparently it did not bother them at all. Zero admitted that he had long wanted this and that he was much better than he imagined. Jude just smiles and kisses him again. Sometimes he recalls the secrets he is hiding, but he thinks it's not yet time. Now both of them are happy to stay on it. With Zero there were no limits, they could try anything out of their mind. His body was hurt, but he did not bother, at least while he was here.Third day, Jude sees that one of them has to be decisive, and says it's time to return. Zero reluctantly agrees, but already knows how much he will miss him. He drove him to the airport, so they kiss in the car as two desperate. They do not care about the people they are going through. Jude promises to come again, just not sure when. It hardly sorts out.Zero went to the Arena, not wanting to return to his apartment. The secretary asks whether he has healed and handed over the messages. He doesn't even remember what has told her and so they think were somewhere else. He whispered something and went to his office. Jude sends out messages that make him laugh, but at the same time gives him grief . He has never been linked to someone this fast. He wanted Jude back in his apartment, his bed, at all costs. But what he should do?When he returns to the apartment late in the evening, it makes him worse. Everthing smells at him. Wherever he looked, or sitting with him at the table, or they cuddled on the couch, or made coffee together... finally dressed fall in bed, buried his face in the pillow and falling asleep.Jude was nothing better. Once upon a time he had a pair of short relationship, but nothing that could be compared with this one. He fell in love for the first time in life, hopelessly, desperately, into a man at the other end of the state. He would agree to everything he would ask from him. He didn't know Zero was already on the plane.Zero understands that he no longer thinks reasonably but doesn't care. He knows where his office is, but when the taxi comes close catches him panic. He might have been overwhelmed, but now he didn't go back, and he entered the building. The secretary asks if he is ordered and tells him to wait. Jude is with clients. He tries to listen to them, but his concentration is zero. When he rinses them, he breathes, then he sees Zero waiting for him and laughs from ear to ear. He pulled him by the hand, ignoring the people around and slamming the door after them. Zero fails to speak anything when he hits him in the chair. They kissed like to haven't split apart just two days ago.When separated Zero says "I wasn't sure how you will react"Jude is sitting in his lap "You know you cann't help himself when you're near. I will cancel all for today. "Zero cheered "I'm glad I came back. Thanks to you this was the best vacation.Jude rises "Now it will be even better" so he takes him to the car and drives it to the apartment.They didn't need sex so much, how close they were. They order dinner so they enjoy each other's company.When they cling together to the sofa, they look at the pictures, they talk, they are silent ... Jude after a while says "I need to tell you something." Zero looked at him curiously, and Jude continued "I don't know how to say" deeply breathing "I'm a quiet partner" and look in the floor. Zero lifted his chin "So what? And so the contract soon expires. I don't want to extend it."Jude is not sure what that means, so he goes on. "But you don't know everything, I'm Oscar's son" Zero repeat "Again, so what?" Then he realized "Yeah, you thought I'd make you condemn. You're not him Jude, and you will never be. I know how to evaluate people. I know Oscar for a long time and it was always bed man. You're something else. That's why I fell in love with you." now Zero is confused. Jude falls a stone from the heart "Hey, I didn't fall in love with you, I love you. I was afraid you would go and give up on me, and I don't know how to survive this" Zero says nothing more. Kiss him and hug him tight. They both need it now. What's going to happen from now on it cann't be bad. Thanks to some wonderful miracles have found each another despite everything. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Jude, without thinking, moved to LA for a few months, while Zero mandate isn't over. It helps him with legal matters as much as he can, and his office in Memphis temporarily gives up to his associates.When Zero present Jude as his boyfriend, people are surprised. It took a while, but nobody makes any problems with it. They both already see just one other, not interested in other people. They know this is what happens once in a lifetime, and only to those who are lucky one.Zero cooks almost every night. He wants to spoil Jude, nothing is difficult for him. Jude is happy to come to him, so it was no where they were, just while they were together. Jude didn't tell his mom why he was here, and she didn't insists. He was always responsible, would tell her when he was ready, certainly has a good reason.Zero and Jude agreed that in the meantime they find a new buyer. Jude could no longer remember why he wanted anything that belongs to Oscar. He was never his father.Oscar knew what was going on with the club. He had his men in jail. He thought Zero was not such a bad choice, but knew he was not alone in it.When they close the sale, Jude asks Zero whether he wants to go to jail with him. He wants to go to visit Oscar, to close that chapter in his life.Oscar is surprised to see them both in the visit room. Before he starts talking, realize who Jude is. It was so much like Susan. Now everything was clear to him.Jude responds to him with no introduction "By the expression of his face I see you know who I am, but I'm not here because of that. I don't know why I ever wanted your club. Thanks Good, brought me the love of my life" gently looked at Zero. He knew that Oscar was going to go crazy, so he said, "We've found a buyer and I finally get rid of everything that's been linked to you." Not waiting for the shocked Oscar to say something, they stand up and get out without saying goodbye.Zero grabs him by the arm when they sit in the car "Are you okay?" Jude looked at him "More than okay. Where we could go?"Zero hugged him and whispered "I don't know in the future, there's time, but today you can only go to my bed"Jude laughs "I have no objection."When they come to Zero's apartment, he asks him to wait in the living room. Jude is sure it will be something good. Zero spoiled him too much. Not so long ago he couldn't imagine being able to love someone so much.Zero soon returns and takes him to the jacuzzi. There are candles everywhere. Stripped his clothes and helps him to come in. Water with scented salts is pleasant, ideal for relaxation. Undressed himself too, and join him. He gave him a glass of champagne and Jude feels as if he is grasping the haze of all this. After long lazy enjoyment, Zero carried him out and wiped him with a towel. He also wipes himself out. He took him to the massage table and told him to lie down. The smell of oil fills the room. Zero hands relax each node and accumulate stress. From the neck, through the arm, back, ass cheek, and leg to the foot. He wiped him again with a towel and took it to the room. There are candles and champagne and fruit. Sit in bed one over the other, so Zero says he leans his hands behind his back, and Jude obeys. Zero put hands on his chest and listen to the heartbeat. And then he crosses with fingers lightly over his lips, nose, eyelid, peeling off hair from his face. Touches his neck, ears, nipples, stomach ... intentionally doesn't lower down. Slowly, as if they were all the time of the world. Jude wants him more than anything but agrees to play.His hands and feet were worn. All nervous endings scream to endurance limits. Zero finally pulled him to his lap and connect their stone erections. Jude felt an electric shock throughout the body. Each their sex was great, but this is something new. It seems to him that an old part of his life dies now and that is born a whole new and clean. When Zero come all the way in, he finally feels complete. It feels like two halves that have joined in one unit. It seems to him that act of sex lasts forever. So much better, more intense and so different.After the climax that lasts and lasts, both fall on the bed. They have no power either to move."I love you" Jude breaks the silence. "I love you, too" Zero answers as he falls into the dream.In the morning, better said at noon, Jude leaned on the pillows and looked at Zero who woke up slowly "Hm, this was ... wow ..." Zero turned to him and kissed his stomach "What do you want to do today?"Jude fits his hair with fingers "I don't know, but I would ask you something. Do you want to come with me to my mother" Zero came up and sat down to him" Sure. You don't have to watch me with this puppy dog eyes, I cann't refuse anything to you. Of course I would love to meet your mother" Playing with his fingers, continue " Nothing connects us here anymore, where would you like to live? "Jude jumped out of bed "There is time for it, let's go under the shower, or we'll always stick to it forever"Zero started up with him "Just so you know, no sex in the shower ..." but Jude pretend doesn't hear him, and Zero knows he never keeps threats in his vicinity.
11272119	Daydream	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "F/M", "Characters": "Sansa Stark, Sandor Clegane", "Fandom": null, "Language": "English", "Rating": "General Audiences", "author": "by SassyEggs", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-22T00:00:00", "words": "915", "Additional Tags": "Vale - Freeform, Sansa POV", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "Sandor Clegane/Sansa Stark, Sandor Clegane & Sansa Stark", "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": "A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)", "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	“Little bird.”It was a breath of cold water, those words at that moment, coaxing her heart to a gallop though Alayne knew better than to show it. Instead she stared at the snowy tableau before her as if no one had spoken at all, prompting Myranda to nudge her and point at what she was referring to.“Right there. The black and yellow one. Do you see it?”“I do,” Alayne agreed dully, pushing snow off the ledge with a finger to hide her relief. “How very odd- it’s far too cold for such a little thing.”“It’s far too cold for everything,” Myranda complained.And that was the truth. Winter had come at last, blanketing the Vale in more snow than usual and wrapping its inhabitants with a chill they couldn’t shake no matter how many logs they threw on the fire. And every day brought new people to the Gates of the Moon, fleeing the winter, searching for food, hoping for shelter. Which her father provided- for a price, of course- welcomed them with open arms like the benevolent lord he pretended tried to be.Alayne was always involved in some way, father wanting her with him in order for her to learn. She’d arrange sparse meals or sparser accommodations for every man, woman, and child that arrived, for trappers and traders and farmers, from the most pious to the most unholy and every sinner in between.There was no sin on the brothers, though, who’d arrived only a few days ago with no intention of staying, mostly silent and unobtrusive and not wanting much, just some shelter from the worst of the storm, perhaps a little food if it’s not too much to ask. Courteous. Motley. Three of them in total and one of them much much taller than the other two, drawing her eye and making her blood thump in her veins.The Hound. The name was there before she could correct it, pushing itself into her head and settling into her chest no matter how hard she tried to keep it out. It couldn't be- it could not be- and yet three days had passed since they’d arrived and she had not been able to forget it. It sparked her imagination more than she would have liked even though fantasies were what children had and she was not a child anymore.Besides. Alayne didn’t even know the Hound.And yet he started plaguing her dreams, this man she wasn’t supposed to know, crawling into her bed and demanding a song like in a different dream, with a different girl, in a different life. And she would reach for him like she did in some forgotten detail but he would disappear like smoke between her fingers, and she’d be glad of it, glad he was gone. But other times she would call to him- “Sandor, please…”- though she had no reason to say that name, no reason to even know that name, absolutely no reason at all to believe he might come for her. Not after he’d abandoned her.Besides. That man was too small to be the Hound.The man who haunted her memories was enormous, filling her thoughts with just the size of him, crushing out any other intruders both old and new. And he was never, ever pious- the Hound would never be a taller-than-most-but-still-too-small holy man. No, it wasn’t him, and she shouldn’t be thinking about him. Those memories belonged to a girl she no longer knew, a girl who should have died on the steps of Baelor with her fath… with Lord Stark. And it did no good to dwell on the thoughts anyway, merely thinking of him was not helpful. And besides. The Hound was dead.He was alive and well inside her, though, always dreaming dreaming dreaming of rescue like a maiden of song, wishing that someone would care enough about her- about her- to take her away from there, take her home or just somewhere safe or Someplace that isn’t burning. And at some point that someone had become him, and the dreams became bigger, brighter, till she was full to the brim of him even when awake.“I knew you’d come,” she imagined saying to him, and he’d be surprised how she wasn’t frightened of him anymore, how she even knew not to be frightened of him anymore. And maybe he would try to scare her, like he used to, and she would tell him firmly that he couldn’t hide the truth, not from her- he was the truest knight she had ever known.He would laugh at her, of course; she thought she would like it if he did.He’d laugh even more if he knew the stories she told of him, of his gallantry, his bravery, his chivalry. And always with scars- she was careful to remember those- because they were part of him, indelible- unshakable- like the man himself, the man who wouldn’t leave her alone, wouldn’t leave her dreams or her imagination because he was welcome there, she wanted him there, needed him close for unnamable reasons, so close that sometimes she could almost see him. As if her mind were playing tricks on her.It was madness, and nothing more. But it was not madness that woke her in the dark of the night before her wedding, eyes opening on a large figure crouched in her moonlit room and a soft rasp that said-“Little bird.”
11226795	The Uncomfortable Game	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Jeremy Heere, The Squip (Be More Chill), Humanized Squip (Be More Chill)", "Fandom": "Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by orphan_account", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-17T00:00:00", "words": "904", "Additional Tags": "The uncomfortable game, kill me, I wrote this because my friends put the idea in my head, It's gay™, Human Squip because that's a thing I can do, The squip is a Sly Bastard™, i love him tho, First Kiss, They were both silently pining for each other across the room, Squip just happened to actually do something about it", "Relationship": "Jeremy Heere/The Squip", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": "The Squipemy Revolution", "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	"So, wanna play a game?"Jeremy was already apprehensive. Games with Squip never ended well. Ever. Last time he played a game with Squip, he ended up with a nasty rash on his back and a broken leg. Chloe still won't let him back to her pool. But, Jeremy is nothing if not a people pleaser, so he closes the book in front of him and faces Squip. "Like what?""Don't give me that look, Jer, I'm not always out for blood-""Last time we played a game," Jeremy puts special emphasis on 'game', because it's never just a game with Squip. "I was in a cast for 3 months!""Hey, it's not my fault that you slipped off the roof! Maybe if you had aimed for the fucking pool like I told you to-" "Okay! Okay. I get it. I'm clearly in the wrong here." Jeremy shot Squip the nastiest glare he could muster. Which, admittedly, wasn't very nasty. "Yeah, whatever, you can't guilt trip me, Jeremy. Doesn't work." Squip gave Jeremy his trademark Infuriating Smirk™ that either made you want to knock his brains out or fuck his brains out. Depends on the day of week, honestly. Jeremy sighs because he's weak for that smirk, God damn it. "What game do you have in mind?" Jeremy was bracing himself for something potentially mortifying or just plain embarrassing, like Never Have I Ever or Truth or Dare, something along those lines. "The Uncomfortable Game." Squips little smirk was growing just a bit bigger with every word. "Wait, w-what? What's the Uncomfortable Game?" Fuck, his stutter was back. "Well, you'll just have to play and find out, won't you, Jer?" Squip teased, his smirk steadily growing.Jeremy gathered his nerves and leveled a glare at him, but nonetheless, got up from his spot at his desk and over to his bed where Squip had been sitting."Fine, you win. Let's play." Jeremy screwed up some very uncharacteristic courage and gave in to Squip's little game. "Great." The smirk on Squip's face could've very well been a genuine smile at that point. "Here's how we play. I'm thinking of a state, and you have to guess which one I'm thinking of. My hand doesn't stop moving until you get it right." Squip had rested his hand on Jeremy's ankle with a wicked grin. "Get it?""Um, sure? Don't understand how this game is supposed to be f-fu-" Jeremy stuttered and cut himself off when Squip's hand slowly but surely made its way up his leg. "Start guessing, Jeremy." Squip said in a sing-song voice. "Uh, shit, Texas?""No." His hand was at Jeremy's shin. "Fuck, Florida?""Nah." Now it was at his knee. "Washington?""Nope." Squip popped the 'p' and kept moving his hand, which was at the bottom of his thigh. "California?""You're pretty bad at this, Jer." He said, his hand still trailing up Jeremy's thigh. "Sh-shut up! There are like, 50 states!"Squip's hand didn't stop moving, but his smile was downright diabolical at this point. "Mm hm, let's go Jeremy, you still haven't gotten it right." Squip had shifted from his spot at the foot of the bed next to Jeremy so he could keep moving his hand. It was currently at Jeremy's hip."New York?"The hand was at his stomach."Oregon?"The hand was raking up his chest."H-Hawaii?" Curse his infernal stutter.The hand had thankfully shifted over to Jeremy's wrist, but it was still moving, and Squip looked like the cat that got the cream."Pennsylvania? Shit, I don't know!"The hand was moving up his arm, brushing the inside of his wrist, trailing over the crook of his elbow, practically petting his upper arm."Alaska?" Jeremy's voice had climbed at least an octave since they started.Squip's hand was gliding along his shoulder."God damn it, is the state even in America?!" Jeremy was considerably flustered and more than a little irritated.Squip had the biggest shit-eating grin on his face."Oh, you thought I was talking about states that you can visit?"Most cognitive action going on in Jeremy's head ground to a halt as he realized what Squip had just said.Squip's hand was brushing his neck, and Jeremy almost shouted his next three guesses."Liquid!" No luck, Squip's hand was at the top of his spine."Shit, gas!" Squip's hand kept moving towards the nape of Jeremy's neck."Solid!"Squip's hand finally stopped, resting at the nape of Jeremy's neck, fiddling with the short hairs there."Congrats, Jeremy, you figured it out!" Squip was smiling uncontrollably, just barely keeping in his laughter.Jeremy tried to pull away, batting at Squip's arm."Ha ha, very funny, Squip!" He squirmed in his spot. "Now, can you please let go of me so-""Push me away if this gets weird.""It's already pretty fucking weird Squ-!"Jeremy was cut off as Squip leaned in and pressed his mouth against Jeremy's.It was brief, no time to pull away or reciprocate.Squip's hand was still cradling his neck, and Jeremy rolled his eyes while blushing furiously."If you wanted to kiss me, you should've just asked." Jeremy surprised both Squip and himself at the lack of stuttering that came from him as he said that.The lack of stuttering wasn't really a concern when Jeremy bunched his hands in Squip's collar and pulled their mouths back together.
11287728	Doctor Who	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": null, "Characters": "Spencer Reid, Reader", "Fandom": null, "Language": "English", "Rating": "General Audiences", "author": "by arsenicarose", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-25T00:00:00", "words": "761", "Additional Tags": "doctor who - Freeform, Fluff, Reader-Insert", "Relationship": "Spencer Reid/Reader", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": "Dr. Spencer Reid: Drabbles, Fluff, Short Fics, and More", "Collections": "Spencer come save Me!", "Fandoms": "Criminal Minds, Spencer Reid - Fandom", "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": "F/M, M/M", "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	“You haven’t seen Doctor Who?” Spencer asks.“No…” you lie. Well, you weren’t entirely lying. You had seen all the new episodes of Doctor Who, but you are sure that isn’t what Spencer is referring too.“What? It’s right up your alley, Y/N! You would love it! I have show it to you sometime.”That is just the reply you had been hoping for. Any excuse to spend more time with the delightful Dr. Spencer Reid was a gift, even if you couldn’t just come out and say it. “Well, if you insist, Spence. I would love to watch with you.”“I don’t insist, but I would love to share it with you, if you are willing.”Oh, very willing. “I was teasing. Where shall we start?”“An Unearthly Child, of course. Most people say, ‘Don’t skip nine!’ but I believe you shouldn’t skip any.”You are prepared for this. Doctor Who is interesting, and any time spent with Spencer is wonderful. “Alright, bring it on, Doctor. Let’s start tonight.”Spencer smiles at you and pulls out his huge collection of the first eight doctors. You wonder if he got it in anticipation of sharing it with someone.“How many episode of Doctor Who are there?” You ask, feeling slightly daunted.“There are 837 episode and movies, accounting for 28 days and 7 hours of Doctor Who to watch,” he replies, visibly getting excited.You take a deep breath and mentally prepare yourself. That is a lot, no matter how good the show is. You knew it had to be long, having watched nine of the new seasons, but having it put in perspective like that made it daunting. “I guess we won’t be watching it all tonight then.”“Of course not. That would be impossible.”He starts the first part of the first episode and you sink into the couch. It is interesting, and this doctor is very different from the ones you are used to. He is brisk and almost rude. Spencer and you sit apart on the couch, as usual. You rarely touch.At the end of the episode, four parts later, he looks to you eagerly. “So, what did you think?”“I liked it. Very different from the others. I have to say, I am partial to David Tennant, though. Christopher Eccleston and Tom Baker also have their charms. But I want to see it all. Let’s go to the next one.”“Wait,” he says, “You said you hadn’t seen Doctor Who…”“I haven’t seen this Doctor Who. Come on, Spence. I’m a nerd. My mom is a nerd. You think she wouldn’t share the Doctor with me?”“Why didn’t you tell me?”“Because I wanted you to show me the ones I hadn’t seen. And I figured if I said I had seen it, the new seasons wouldn’t count.”He looks offended by this supposition. “Of course they count! I’m not a purist. Any introduction is a good one. Why do you prefer David Tennant, though? Why not Paul McGann, Tom Baker, or any of the others?”You shrug. “What can I say. I like ‘em tall, weird, smart, and eccentric with great hair.”Oh goodness, you can’t believe you just said that in front of Spencer. You blush, and look away, hoping he won’t notice that you just described him.“Oh?” he says. You can’t read his tone, but you are afraid to look up.“Mmhmm.”“That’s… interesting. So… are there any other doctor’s that you like? Ones that are, um, ‘tall, weird, smart, and eccentric with great hair?”You look up at him and he has a half grin on his face. “I mean, Paul McGann does have great hair.”You can see him fight to keep his face from falling. “Yeah, he does.”“Buuuut I might have been referring to… someone else on accident there,” you mumble quickly.His face lights up again. “Really?”“Don’t be getting a big ego over the “great hair” comment. David Tennant might win that contest.”Spencer laughs, “Fair.”“Want to keep going?” you ask, trying to put this awkward moment behind you.“Of course.” He gets up to switch out the discs. When he sits back down, you find that he is a little closer to you. You scoot even closer to him, so that your legs touch.Neither of you says a word as the next episode starts, but at some point, he puts his arm around your shoulder. You smile to yourself. This had been an even better idea than you had originally thought.
11280111	Obsolescence	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": null, "Fandom": "No Fandom", "Language": "Français", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by HandsBruised", "chapters": "120/120", "completed": "2020-09-01", "published": "2017-06-23T00:00:00", "words": "90,130", "Additional Tags": "Eating Disorders, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Grief/Mourning, Homophobia, Sexual Content, Substance Abuse, Minor Violence, Fluff and Smut, End of the World, High School", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Étude de cas numéro : 113-151-8.Coffre retrouvé dans la zone : 122-315-14.Contenu (liste non exhaustive) :- Journal Intime de Sasha Niedrig, ci après " Sasha ".- Passeport de Sasha.- Journal Intime (1) de Leo Clarence, ci après " Leo ".- Journal Intime (2) de Leo.- Passeport de Leo.- Diverses photos de Sasha, Leo et autres personnes mentionnées ou non.- Divers documents. Ce rapport est à but éducatif, instructif, commémoratif et non-lucratif. Il est établi afin de classifier et d'établir chronologiquement les documents mentionnés ci-dessus. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Cela fait exactement cinq jours, huit heures, vingt-deux minutes et ... trente-six. Trente-sept. Trente-huit secondes que je suis dans cette ville. Et cela fait exactement cinq jours, huit heures, vingt-deux minutes et quarante-huit. Quarante-neuf. Cinquante secondes que j'en ai totalement marre.C'est la énième fois de ma vie que je change d'école et il faut toujours que ça arrive en cours d'année. Au moins cette fois on est seulement en octobre. C'est plus facile d'arriver en octobre qu'en février, même si c'est moins original. Mais peu importe, ce n'est pas comme si j'étais déstabilisé. Je veux dire, à chaque fois c'est exactement le même scénario qui se répète. Réglé comme du papier à musique. Limite chiant, à force.Phase une, durée approximative deux minutes : Vous êtes planté dans l'entrée de la salle, droit comme un i, avec l'envie de faire bonne impression mêlée à celle de leur faire comprendre que vous n'en avez rien à faire, ni d'eux, ni de leur école, ni même de leur pays. La.e proviseur.e a la main sur votre épaule et iel donne votre nom à la classe en faisant une remarque a la con sur le fait que vous êtes nouveau - sans déc - timide - moi, timide ? - et qu'il faudra être bien gentil avec vous. Ça cesse d'être mignon à partir de la sixième, honnêtement. Bref, à ce moment là, trois filles vous regardent avec l'œil bienveillant, trois mecs vous dévisagent méchamment, le reste de la classe n'en a absolument rien à foutre et est juste heureux de perdre cinq minutes du temps de cours.Phase deux, durée approximative quarante-cinq secondes : On vous demande de vous présenter, vous haussez les épaules et vous n'ouvrez pas la bouche parce 1) vous êtes effectivement timide 2) ça vous donne l'air intéressant et rebelle 3) en fait vous détestez déjà cet endroit, au cas ou ça n'aurait pas été clair. Je déteste tous les endroits. Ou plutôt, je n'en ai rien à foutre. Je ne sais même plus dans quel pays mon père m'a trimballé, cette fois. Bref. Vous essayez juste de capter la voix du proviseur pour savoir si c'est de l'anglais, du français, de l'allemand ou même une langue que vous ne connaissez pas. Vous la laissez parler à votre place et les gens vous trouvent soit con soit cool, soit un parfait mélange des deux et au fond qu'est ce que j'en sais, de ce qu'ils pensent de moi, et qu'est ce que ça peut me faire ? Vous allez vous asseoir à la place qu'on vous assigne au fond de la salle, l'air ennuyé par l'existence. Quelques filles passeront l'heure à se dévisser le cou pour vous apercevoir. Vous êtes la nouvelle attraction.Phase trois, durée approximative deux jours : A la sortie de ce cours passionnant que vous avez passé à observer minutieusement les gens qui vont partager quelques mois de votre vie, la bande des populaires vous agrippe. Ils vous posent mille questions et vous scannent au laser de leurs yeux bleus, histoire de savoir si vous êtes assez cool pour faire partie de leur bande ou pas. Pendant deux jours, ils vont vous faire une visite guidée de l'établissement avec force commentaires sur tous les gros nases que vous ne devez fréquenter sous aucun prétexte, tels des Draco Malefoy du pauvre. Oui, la bande des populaires est aussi une bande de gros cons, c'est un scoop pour quelqu'un ?Phase finale, durée approximative jusqu'au prochain déménagement : Les populaires vous lâchent et vous devenez ami avec « tous les gros nases » qui sont en fait tous très sympas. Ça aussi c'est un scoop ? Ça y est. Vous êtes toujours « le nouveau », bien sûr, et ce jusqu'à la fin de votre scolarité dans cet établissement, mais maintenant vous êtes intégré.Libre à vous de vous désintégrez.Je crois que les lycées sont des représentations du monde, dans tout ce qu'il peut avoir comme frontières, castes et guerres de religions. Prenez une salle de classe banale et vous trouverez tous les archétypes : Le glandeur qui roule ses cigarettes, la grosse brute sympa, Barbie princesse et sa cour, le geek avec un tee-shirt rigolo, le geek moins sympa avec une cravate, l'asiatique timide qui hoche la tête et qui rigole tout le temps, au moins une correspondante allemande qui fait la même chose, une gothique avec des fringues super sexy et des cheveux pas possibles, une fille qui a le malheur de faire plus qu'un 40 et qui du coup se pense des gênes communs avec la baleine à bosse, un couple mignon, un premier et une première de la classe en compétition permanente... Tout ça quoi.Prenez n'importe qui, parlez-lui cinq minutes et vous parviendrez à le ranger dans une série de cases. C'est presque un jeu. Tous ces gens... " Uniques comme tout le monde ". Ils sont faciles à caser. En cinq jours, je les aie déjà tous rangés. Classés. Aucun de mes vingt-deux camarades de classe n'est complètement con. Ni vraiment méchant. Ils sont tous... Dans des cases habituelles. Plutôt gentils, plutôt intéressants. Dans la norme.Sauf lui.Sauf Leo.Leo je ne lui trouve pas de cases. Ou plutôt, il est un peu de travers dans chaque. A chaque fois que je crois avoir trouvé, il fait un truc qui fait tout tomber par terre. Il est trop nul avec un ballon pour être un sportif. Il est trop gentil pour être un sale con. Et après avoir entendu uns de ses poèmes en cours de français, il est trop sensible pour être insensible.Peut-être que c'est simplement parce que je ne lui ai jamais adressé la parole. Ce qui serait une chose à faire. Mais jusqu'ici je n'ai pas... Pris l'occasion.Bref. Tout ça pour dire. Si j'étais du genre combatif, je supplierais mon père de me garder en Suisse avec lui, de continuer à me faire courir le monde quitte à m'inscrire au CNED, juste pour ne pas me retrouver encore dans une nouvelle ville. Mais je ne suis pas du genre combatif. Je suis plutôt du genre Je-m-en-fous-d'absolument-tout. Alors je n'ai rien dit. Je me suis encore laissé transbahuter comme un paquet par ma mère. Pour changer. Et pour changer, elle m'a laissé là tout seul.Du coup, depuis cinq jours je vais en cours. Tous les matins, à l'heure. L'un de ses avantages de ce déménagement supplémentaire, c'est que j'ai toujours détesté me mêler à la foule des transports en communs et que maintenant, je peux aller au lycée à pied. Je fais sagement mes devoirs en rentrant, jJe révise mes leçons. Je joue du violon ensuite. Une heure tous les soirs. Je ne mange presque rien parce que je n'ai jamais faim, mais je me lave quand même les dents trois fois par jour, du rose vers le blanc. Et le soir, avant minuit, je me couche dans ce lit beaucoup trop grand et beaucoup trop vide, dans cet appartement tout aussi grand et tout aussi vide. Je passe une bonne partie de la nuit à ne pas dormir, en regardant le plafond. Incapable de m'endormir seul.Aujourd'hui, on est samedi après-midi. Je suis allongé dans mon lit. J'écris dans mon journal. Quand j'aurais fini d'écrire dans mon journal, Je vais faire un effort. Je vais enfin cesser de regarder le plafond. Parce que ce n'est plus possible, vous comprenez ? Je vais faire quelque chose de ma soirée. Je vais bouger un peu. Il est temps. Que je change de cette routine qui m'aliène.Alors quand j'aurais fini d'écrire, j'irais chercher une des bouteilles rangées sous l'évier et je la descendrais lentement, en fumant des cigarettes mentholées et en écoutant Priscilla Ahn et Sia, comme un putain de poète anglais.Et puis quand je serai trop raide pour marcher droit – Une bouteille ne suffira pas, mais j'en ai d'autres – j'irais me perdre dans les rues pendant des heures. Je traverserais peut-être un bar ou deux. Au petit matin, s'il me reste des forces et des cigarettes, j'irais m'asseoir sur le bord du fleuve pour en fumer une dernière en songeant à sauter.Puis j'irais me coucher dans mon lit froid et vide, j'irais me perdre à nouveau dans le plafond et compter les jours jusqu'à que ça s'arrête. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland Passport.Type : PCode of Country : GBRPassport N° : 5181519Surname : NiedrigGiven Names : SashaNationality : British CitizenDate of Birth : 08 AUG 1998Sex : MPlace of Birth : Weston Super MareDate of delivery : 13 JAN 06Date of expiry : 14 JAN 16Autority : UKPAHolder's Signature : S Niedrig. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Aujourd'hui il pleut. Des trombes d'eau, qui dégoulinent des toits en faisant un bruit de fin du monde. J'aime bien la pluie. Elle donne à tous les corps un aspect uniforme, fait de cheveux collés au visage et de vêtements plaqués au corps. Elle rend les gens euphoriques ou mélancoliques. C'est comme un révélateur qui redonne leur nature profonde aux personnes, qui fait balayer les masques et efface les maquillages. C'est le ruissellement de la nature qui nous rappelle qu'elle peut jouer avec nous comme des billes au fond d'un sac, qu'on a intérêt à se tenir à carreau. Que l'on aura beau construire les immeubles les plus hauts, elle viendra inonder nos routes et ronger nos fondations. La pluie; c'est une menace déguisée. Le genre qui cache bien son jeu. Qui paraît inoffensive et puis d'un coup, t'as rien vu venir, elle t’a rongée, noyée, elle s'est bien foutue de ta gueule.La pluie c'est moi.Du moins je croyais. Jusqu'à ce jour. Tout à l'heure. Quand je me suis rendu compte que la pluie ce n'était pas moi. C'était lui.Vous savez quels sont les plus positifs à être élève dans un très vieux et très beau lycée ? C'est facile, il n’y en a qu'un. C'est très beau. Et vous savez quels sont les points négatifs ? C'est facile. Tout le reste.Il fait froid. C'est toujours poussiéreux. Délabré. Les plafonds fuient. Le sol est gauchi, les pavés se défont, les arbres charrient des sauts entiers de pollen. La moitié des endroits sympas sont interdits, il y a toujours une partie qui est en réfaction. Du coup, après vous avoir fait vaguement rêver avec toutes les salles magnifiques dans lesquelles vous n'aurez jamais cours, arrive le début d'année et vous prenez vos leçons dans un immonde bâtiment en préfabriqué installé au milieu de la cour. Et vous savez ce qui est pire qu'un préfabriqué tout neuf ? Un préfabriqué qui est là depuis si longtemps qu'il tombe en ruine. En même temps ces trucs ne sont pas faits pour durer dans le temps.Alors vous prenez vos cours dans cet endroit dont la porte ferme mal, qui n'a pas de chauffage et puis de toute façon qu'est-ce que c'est sensé me foutre ? Vous m'avez vu en train de suivre ? Je m'en fous de l'éclairage, du chauffage et de comment marche le reste de l'univers. Je m'assoie près d'une fenêtre, je bouquine et surtout ne venez pas me faire chier.C'est comme ça que tout est arrivé. Je ne demandais rien à personne, moi. Je bouquinais tranquillement, je regardais la pluie par la fenêtre, les gens qui courraient pour traverser, je me demandais si ce foutu orage allait finir par nous tomber dessus ou pas, le ciel avec et je n'ai même pas entendu l'espèce de dogue qui nous dispense les cours d'allemand appeler mon prénom. Il l'a répété trois fois. C'est que je n'ai pas l'habitude qu'on m'appelle Sasha, moi. Personne ne m'appelait comme ça, dans mon ancien lycée, ni dans celui d'avant. C'était Niedrig, sans rien devant. Alors il m'a appelé bien trois fois avant que je ne réagisse vaguement- Heu, oui ?- Vous pourriez fermer la fenêtre Sasha, je vous prie ?Je vous passe l'accent allemand à couper au couteau. J'ai essayé. Sauf que l'espèce d'énorme bloc de verre coulissant de la fenêtre, à force d'être là à attendre que le bâtiment veuille bien être rénové, il a fini par s'abîmer. Il a perdu son montant en plastique sur tout un côté et évidemment, c'est le montant que j'ai décidé d'empoigner de toutes mes forces en tirant. Résultat, je me suis coupé. Et bien, en plus. Juste entre le pouce et l'index, une longue estafilade qui se gorgeait de sang. Gueule de mon professeur.Il m'a dit d'aller à l'infirmerie, " mon petit ". Mon petit. Il m'a vraiment appelé comme ça ? Qu'importe. J'ai pris mes affaires - au moins c'était clair pour lui et pour le reste de mes gentils petits camarades si accueillants – quelle belle brochette de connards en puissance – que je n'allais pas de sitôt remettre les pieds dans cette foutue salle dangereuse. Gardez mon sang sur le tapis et on s'en tient là.Je suis passé sous la pluie sans courir. Je m'en fous de la pluie. J'aime bien la pluie. Je suis la pluie. Je l'ai laissé ruisseler sur mon visage. Je n'avais pas mal, j’étais content de me barrer de ce cours, de cette salle, de cet ennui. De faire quelque chose d'autre même pour un instant. Et puis j'aime bien l'infirmerie, parce qu'elle est vieille. Un peu genre Poudlard du pauvre, avec ses lits en fer et sesgrandes fenêtres. Je suis allé à l'infirmerie, il n'y avait personne. Pas de Poppy Pomfresh en tablier.L'infirmerie forme un grand L. Je suis allé voir dans l'autre partie du L s'il y avait quelqu'un, sur un lit. Je marchais lentement. Parce qu'il y avait cette atmosphère. L'odeur froide du désinfectant, la pluie sur les carreaux. Le calme. J'aime bien. C'est différent. C'est autre chose. C'est hors du temps. Par l'une des fenêtres je voyais le fleuve. La violence de la pluie sur l'eau, le courant, les tourbillons et ce brun sale charrié au passage. Ces deux mondes différents séparés par la fenêtre.Il y avait autre chose Il y avait un bruit. Difficile à percevoir avec celui assourdissant de la pluie. Un bruit ténu, un bruit fragile. Un bruit troublant et beau. Un bruit de sanglots. Je suis arrivé au coin du L. J'ai regardé dans l'autre partie de la salle. Il y avait celui que je ne parvenais pas à ranger dans une case.Allongé sur un lit, recroquevillé comme un enfant, son dos tremblant un peu sous son pull gris, Leo pleurait.Je suis resté longtemps à le regarder. À observer son dos mince, les boucles noires qui caressaient le col de sa chemise, ce tremblement et ce bruit très doux. J'ai avancé vers lui et j'ai marché sur un des carreaux branlants. Il n'a pas sursauté, il s'est seulement tourné, en roulant sur le lit, il s'est tourné vers moi. Il m'a regardé aussi. Ses yeux gris délavés par le chagrin avaient pris une couleur argentée, ses joues étaient roses là ou les larmes avaient coulées. Il pleurait comme le ciel pleut, il pleurait comme on déborde lentement. Plus que des larmes, c'était un trop plein de tristesse qui avait affleuré et qui coulait. Il me regardait toujours, il ne bougeait pas, ne disait rien, je l'écoutais pleurer.Son visage était la pluie.Le déluge de son visage est passé dans mon cœurEt je suis tombé amoureux comme on se noie. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Ça fait quoi, une semaine ? Une semaine que j'étais dans cette infirmerie et que j'avais l'impression de me noyer. Une semaine que je voie trouble, comme au fond du fleuve. Comme quand vous avez la tête sous l'eau dans la baignoire, que vous ouvrez les yeux et que vous regardez le plafond. C'est cette sensation-là. Avec les poumons gorgés d'eau eux aussi. Il pleut. Je me noie de partout. Je me noie totalement. Je suis sur la terrasse en caleçon et ma cigarette s'éteint tout le temps, bientôt elle se délitera complètement avec les pages de mon journal que je n'arrive pas à protéger de mes bras. Mais il y a un mec dans ma chambre et je ne veux pas le voir. Je ne sais même pas qui c'est, j'ai oublié comment il s’appelait. Je ne sais même plus si je l'ai su. Plutôt jeune, pas encore trente ans. Je crois qu'il est beau mais je n'arrive pas à me décider. Il est forcément beau. Je suis beau, moi, et je ne sous-couche pas.Je rêve de passer la nuit ici, avec le froid je mourrais peut-être d'hypothermie, sauf si je décide carrément de sauter du septième étage directement dans le fleuve en contrebas. C'est de ma faute, tient. Je n'avais qu'à pas le laisser s'endormir après. Mais s'est arrivé d'un coup et je n'osais pas lui dire « on a baisé et c'était chouette, maintenant tu peux prendre une douche si tu veux, même me piquer un truc dans le frigo, ou vingt euros pour le taxi mais tu t'en vas, quoi, c'est pas l'hôtel, c'est ma chambre.Je devrais baiser dans la chambre d'amis. Au moins je pourrais dormir tranquille, après. Mais là, en attendant.... Il dort dans mon lit, je reste sur la terrasse. Sous la pluie. Je n'ai même pas envie de retraverser ma chambre pour aller jusqu'à la chambre d'amis. Enfin la chambre de ma mère. Pour la différence que ça fait, quoique c'est probablement ça qui me bloque pour m'envoyer des mecs là bas. J'aime pas ma mère, je suis trop gay pour un Œdipe comme ça. Un truc du genre. Du coup je reste là et j'essaye de me noyer. Pour accorder mon corps à mon cœur, vous voyez.On aurait pu croire qu'il m'adresserait la parole, après. Leo, je veux dire. Après que je l'ai regardé aussi longtemps sans bouger. Genre qu'il me demanderait... je ne sais pas. De dégager. Ou ce que je voulais. Ou qu'il me raconterait tous ses malheurs, me demanderait les miens. Mais rien de tout ça. Quand il a eu fini de me regarder avec ses yeux gris comme la pluie, il s'est juste rallongé et il les a fermés, ses yeux. Comme si de rien n'était, comme si l'orage de fin du monde qui se jouait dehors n'était rien, comme si les flots de larmes qui ravageaient ses joues pâles n'étaient rien, comme si ma noyade dans le fleuve de l'amouuuur c'était que dalle.Du coup je suis parti. En fait je suis carrément rentré chez moi. Pour soigner ma plaie, vous vous souvenez ? Celle que je m'étais faite à la fenêtre, là. Je me disais qu'il avait honte, peut-être, qu'il n'avait pas sur réagir. Et puis il était triste. C'est pour ça qu'il n'avait rien dit. Il n'était pas dans son état normal. Il était timide.Et des excuses comme ça, pour lui... J'en ai trouvé toute la semaine. " Il a honte. " – " Il planait et il a oublié " – " Il n'y voyait rien à cause de ses larmes et il ne te reconnaît pas ". J'essayais de trouver des excuses au fait qu'il ne me regardait pas. Qu'il ne me regardait jamais. Les quelques fois ou je suis entrée dans une conversation où il était, il a cessé de parler ou alors je suis parano. Et puis le vendredi avant les vacances, je lui ai posé une question, une question à la con. Mais une question directe. Je voulais juste qu'il m'adresse la parole. Merde, je me mourrais d'amour pour ce mec, je sais que ça me vient facilement mais quand même, je voulais juste un mot.Il a haussé les épaules et il n'a rien dit.Il y a un bel enfoiré dans mon cœur, il y a un quelconque enfoiré dans mon lit, il pleut sur mon cœur comme il pleut sur la ville, quelle est cette langueur qui pénètre mon cœur allez tous vous faire foutre.Je fais juste une fixette c'est tout. Pour un instant de grâce sur son visage. C'est tout moi, ça. Un mec qui est peut-être con comme la lune m'émeut pendant deux secondes et j'en tombe raide amoureux. Qu'est-ce que je suis con, bordel. Ça va passer. Je vais oublier, c'est déjà oublié. Je vais rejoindre le quelconque enfoiré dans les draps, finalement. Histoire de remettre ça. Et de laver les plaies mieux qu'avec de la pluie.Il n'y a rien de mieux qu'un autre corps pour recoller les peines de cœur. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Putain de fixette à la con. Fichus yeux gris comme la pluie. Bordel de sentiments.« Tout m'inspire et me nuit et conspire à me nuire. »Un mois entier. A espérer. Je suis pire que la pire des princesse de roman qui attend un signe du prince charmant. Je cherche son regard en permanence, je ris quand il rit, je boude quand il est triste, je me meurs d'amour quand il prend la parole en cours.Au retour des vacances je croyais que je l'avais effacé et je rigolais de cette passion de dix minutes diluée et oubliée. Voilà, j'étais encore tombé amoureux pour rien du tout, il ne s'était strictement rien passé et c'était déjà fini. J'ai la vie sentimentale la plus déjantée de la planète, sincèrement. La plus vague, inutile, ratée, la plus pitoyable. Il n'était pas là la première heure et je n'en avais rien à carrer. J'étais bien. Tu parles Charles.Il est arrivé à la pause, avec une béquille et la moitié du visage illuminé d'un sourire, lui qui ne sourit pas souvent. C'était pire qu'une boule de feu, pire que l'eau fraîche dans le désert, mieux que le champagne pétillant, pire que de faire craquer ses orteils, mieux qu'un massage thaïlandais, pire qu'un cachet d'excta, mieux qu'un orgasme, pire que la vie, ce n'était pas tomber amoureux, c'était s'envoler jusqu'à la lune, s'écraser dans l'espace.Et maintenant je tombe. Je suis monté là haut et vlan, l'attraction terrestre prends des libertés avec la logique et je tombe tellement vite que je vais entrer en combustion s'il ne me parle pas. Je vais exploser s'il ne me regarde pas plus d'un quart de secondes, par inadvertanceJ'en ai marre de lui, j'en ai marre de tout, il n'est pas différent, il est pire.Je vais arrêter d'aller en cours, pour ce que ça vaut. Je vais juste rester à fumer et à jouer du violon, à regarder le plafond et à maudire son nom.A le gémir doucement les soirs en m'endormant. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Morceau de plâtre chirurgical provenant du moyen de contention porté par Leo après qu'il se soit cassé la jambe dans des circonstances inconnues, au début du mois de novembre 2012.Le morceau conservé, de quelques centimètres carrés, porte l'écriture de Sasha, et une partie de la mention : " Bon Rétablissement " ainsi qu'une autre écriture non identifiée en haut à droite. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Savez-vous ce que c'est, ce sentiment que je ressens ? Qui ne me quitte plus jamais, qui me colle à la peau, qui me glace et me réchauffe, qui est comme le fil qui me tient debout ?Ce n'est pas de l'amour, ce n'est pas quelque chose de beau. L'amour, je ne connais pas, c'est probablement pas pour moi. Trop positif. Non, c'est une obsession.Je n'existe plus. Je n'existe que par lui. Ça me fait penser à la chanson de Brel, vous savez ? « Laisse-moi devenir, l'ombre de ton ombre, l'ombre de ta main, l'ombre de ton chien. » A peine dévalorisant. Je suis son ombre. Je le suis, je l'épie. Je l'écoute, je l'espionne. Je le fixe pendant des heures sans qu'il lève les yeux vers moi. Je dresse la liste de tout ce que je sais de lui. Sa couleur préférée. Les filles avec qui il sort. Les musiques qu'il écoute. Je rêve de ses lèvres barrées d'une cicatrice. Je les rêve contre moi. Sur les miennes, sur mes bras, entre mes cuisses. Je le déteste et je ne le connais même pas.Je l'aime.Je l'aime. Je l'aime.Je crois que je pourrais l'écrire pendant des heures. Je crois que je pourrais le répéter toute une nuit. Son prénom roule sur ma langue comme un alcool qui me brule. J'en deviens fou, je m'en tords dans mes draps, je me repasse la liste infinie de toutes les choses que j'aime chez lui. Et il ne m'a jamais parlé. Et il ne me regarde pas. Moins j'existe pour lui, plus j'existe à travers lui. J'ai l'impression de devenir transparent. Je ne mange plus rien, je ne sors plus de chez moi que pour aller en cours et le voir. Je suis maigre et pâle, fantomatique. Je vais disparaitre. J'aurais été avalé tout entier par l'amour, je vais me noyer. Je suis tellement pathétique. Tellement que je lui en veux, je lui en veux de me faire ressentir ça, je lui en veux de ne rien me donner, pas un mot, pas un regard, je lui en veux de me clouer au sol et de me faire ressentir si fort que je ne suis rien, que je ne vaux rien, que je ne sers à rien, que je n'existe même pas.Dans les moments de lucidité, je m'insulte et je le plains, d'être aimé de quelqu'un comme moi, quelqu'un d'excessif comme ça. Dans ces moments là, je me dis qu'il n'est rien de ce que je crois, il n'est qu'une surface silencieuse sur laquelle j'ai collé tout ce que je voulais.Et à chaque corps que je traverse dans la moiteur de mes draps, à chaque peau que j'enserre et caresse de mes doigts, à chaque fois qu'enfin je me perds dans ce même plaisir idiot répété mille fois, c'est son visage ravagé par les larmes qui frappe mon cerveau et la petite mort m'amène, en rêve, dans ses bras.Je suis vraiment très con.Mais lui, à refuser de me regarder, c'est un enfoiré. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- A minuit, tout s'est arrêté. A minuit il m'a vu. A minuit il m'a fixé. A minuit, tout a recommencé. A minuit il m'a regardé. A minuit il m'a parlé.C'était comme un cadeau de Noël en avance. Il a retiré un de ses écouteurs. Il me regardait et je parlais, je parlais parce que si je ne gardais pas ma voix occupée, j'allais lui dire que je l'aimais. Alors je lui ai dit que j'étais étonné de le voir partir si tôt, que moi j'étais attendu mais que lui c'était étrange après tout c'était Juliette qui avait organisé la soirée et c'était sa meilleure amie et puis même sans ça il avait l'air de s'amuser, non ? Pourquoi il partait ?Il ne disait rien. Il a haussé les épaules, a coincé l'écouteur sur sa nuque. Parce qu'il n'allait pas le remettre. Il ne répondait pas mais au moins il m'écoutait. J'ai pris un vélo. Il a grimpé sur le sien et il est resté sans bouger. Il m'écoutait et il m'attendait.J'étais intimidé bien plus qu'excité. On a roulé dans le noir et le froid, j'aurai voulu qu'il neige, j'aurai voulu vivre tout ce qu'on a vécu dans la neige. A quelques jours de Noël, j'avais droit à mon miracle, non ?Je crois que je l'ai eu, au fond. Les cloches de St Jean ont sonné minuit juste quand on passait devant. Je ne sais pas pourquoi il s'est arrêté, mais toujours est-il qu'il l'a fait. Il n'y avait personne. Il est resté à regarder la cathédrale, le pied à terre sur le pavé, le long des douze coups.Quand ils ont été finis, j'ai demandé :- Tu écoutes quoi ?Il m'a adressé la parole. Il a ouvert la bouche et il m'a parlé. Pour la toute première fois, il m'a parlé. Simplement pour dire le nom de la chanson, mais c'était à moi qu'il s'adressait. A moi seul, à personne d'autre.- Snow. De Brian Crain.Sa voix était lente, douce et froide et mon cœur est parti en looping alors j'ai dit le premier truc qui m'est venu, même si c'était cliché, qu'est-ce que ça pouvait faire, c’était sorti tout seul. C'est fou ce que le son d'une voix peut faire, des mots qui prennent leurs poids parce qu'ils nous sont adressés directement.- Tu me fais écouter ? Il a haussé un sourcil et je croyais qu'il allait refuser, je croyais qu'il allait me repousser, me demander de le lâcher, mais non. Quand j'y repense, je me tords dans mon lit et mon cœur tape dans mes cotes avec un bruit sourd parce que ses doigts sont allés chercher l'écouteur sur sa nuque, parce qu'il s'est approché et qu'il me l'a tendu. Parce que j'ai touché ses doigts, le bout de ses doigts dans ses mitaines, et sa peau était douce et tiède malgré le froid. C'était la première fois qu'il me touchait. Je n'ai même pas écouté la musique. J'ai retenu le titre, mais je ne pouvais pas me concentrer. C'était symphonique et il me fixait. Il me regardait dans les yeux et le silence. Les siens avaient une couleur de fin du monde. Je me suis perdu. Je me suis senti partir. Nous étions dans les premières minutes après la première fin du monde, j'aimais si fort qu'il me semblait que j'étais entouré d'une langue de feu et l'objet de tous mes désirs se tenait debout devant moi, à cinquante centimètres, à me regarder en silence.J'avais envie de l'embrasser. J'ai vraiment besoin de le dire ? Tout mon corps était aimanté par lui. J'avais envie de l'embrasser, j'avais besoin de le toucher encore. De réchauffer mes doigts à son cou, de coller mes lèvres sur les siennes, de voir si c'était vrai qu'en passant la langue sur sa lèvre, on sentait sa cicatrice, celle que les gerçures laissaient deviner. Si c'était vrai aussi que la bière donnait à sa bouche un parfum de grenadine. J'avais envie de le ramener chez moi et de le perdre dans les draps, voir moi aussi ce tatouage dont j'avais entendu deux filles parler.Il a repris son écouteur. - On y va ?Je n'ai aucune idée de combien de temps on était restés là. Cinq minutes plus tard on était à la station vélo près de chez lui. On les a posés. Il m'a jeté un drôle de regard. Je crois qu'il se demandait pourquoi j'étais encore là, si je comptais aller jusqu'à chez lui ou je ne sais quoi. Vous avez déjà été tellement obnubilé par quelque chose que le monde autour de vous disparaissait ? Le froid de la nuit de décembre, la pureté du ciel, l'odeur très douce des feuilles de platanes humides en train de pourrir... Et la seule chose que vous voyez, c'est une joue pâle et lisse qui dépasse du col d'une veste. Votre objectif. Vous ne croyez pas assez aux contes de fées pour aller directement lui rouler le patin de sa vie, la perspective de vous retrouver par terre avec la moitié du visage douloureux c'est pas votre délire, mais sa joue, là, vous êtes focalisé dessus. Comme si tout le reste devenait flou. Je crois même qu'il m'a parlé, mais j'étais en train d'avancer.Un conseil. Même si le temps semble figé, que vous êtes dans le brouillard et que vous avancez vers votre terre promise en mode zombie pour y déposer un baiser... Avancer en mode zombie de films récents. C'est à dire vite. Parce que je ne sais pas vraiment ce qu'il a dit, mais c'était dans le genre « mais qu'est-ce que tu fais ? » J'avais la main tendue vers sa joue et j'étais en train de m'approcher. Il m'a repoussé. Il a reculé. Il a soupiré. Il m'a donné un cadeau plus beau qu'un baiser. Avant de partir, il m'a dit : « Bonne nuit, Sasha. »Je suis resté tellement choqué qu'il connaisse mon prénom que j'ai dû passer au moins vingt secondes à regarder son dos. Les joues rouges de froid, les petits nuages blancs autour de la bouche et un autre, immense, à l'intérieur du cerveau.Je flotte. Tellement haut. Dans mon lit, je ne redescend pas. L'amas de coussins et de couettes, c'est mon nuage et allongé sur le dos, les bras croisés derrière la nuque, je regarde le plafond en voyant son visage en surimpression. Ouais. Je suis tellement amoureux que j'en deviens pire qu'écœurant. Je crois que je vais m'endormir mon portable à la main, en regardant des photos de lui et en ronronnant et en me tordant et en rêvant, en rêvant de plus en plus fort jusqu'à mourir de frustration.Je suis perdu. Mais il y a tellement d'embuches sur le chemin, parfois il vaut mieux rester perdu. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Type : Fichier VLC.Durée : 3:48Titre : Brian Crain - SnowInclut dans le dossier : Musique Leo ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- J'aurais voulu qu'il neige. A Gstaad, chez mon père, tout était déjà blanc. Mais pas ici. Lyon est magnifique, mais elle l'aurait été encore plus recouverte de blanc.Depuis qu'il m'a parlé, depuis qu'il m'a touché, je n'ai fait que rêver de neige. De batailles de boules neige, d'anges de neige, de bonhomme de neige... De faire l'amour dans la neige. Oui, ça finit toujours comme ça quand je me mets à rêver de lui. C'est la vie. Bref.Il faisait vraiment trop doux pour un 31 décembre. Quand je serais roi, il n'y aura plus de réchauffement climatique parce que c'est franchement nase. Toute ma classe allait à la même fête organisée par le mec le plus CoolFriquéPopulaire d'entre nous, et dans l'idée, je n'avais aucune envie d'y aller. Je veux dire, ils sont plutôt cools et tout ça, je crois même que je pourrais dire que j'ai des potes dans la classe, des gens avec qui je discute, mais... Ils sont justes... Ils sont...Une belle brochette de connards en puissance. Ils n'ont aucune idée de la réalité, ils vivent dans des bulles que je rêve d'éclater. Non, je ne les aime pas. Je n'ai pas envie d'essayer de les connaitre. Je me traine aux fêtes uniquement parce que lui y est. Je suis rentré de Suisse uniquement pour lui. Alors que j'y serais bien resté, moi. C'est cool de fêter le nouvel an là bas. Pleins de mecs, de la coke, pas de règles. Perso c'est ma définition de la fête ultime. Y a pas mieux. Je sais, c'est grave cliché, le petit gosse de riche drogué gay, je sais, je vous emmerde, comme ça on est clairs entre nous. Où j'en étais déjà ?Donc. 31 décembre. Au moins 10 degrés. Fête du nouvel an chez... Comment il s'appelle, déjà ? Un prénom à la con. Tous ces fils de ont des prénoms à la cons. Achille ? Non, un autre truc pas mieux. Mettons Achille. Donc. Entre parenthèses, le meilleur ami de Leo parce que oui, monsieur mon amour est ami avec la royauté de ma classe. Au moins je ne courrais pas de risque de me pointer et de me retrouver comme un con parce qu'il n'était pas là. Alors j'ai passé trois heures à me préparer. Genre, trois vraies heures. Une à prendre un bain, une à me coiffer, quatre à choisir mes fringues. Ça ne fait pas trois, je vous l'accorde. Et puis j'ai fait ce que tout mec sensé fait. Je me suis pointé deux heures après l'heure prévue, déjà un peu déchiré, dans mon jean slim le plus mouvant, le genre à vous laisser des marques sur les hanches. Tout le monde sait qu'arriver à l'heure est un crime.Et bah faut croire que cette règle est valable en Suisse, à Paris, à Londres, à... enfin partout dans le monde civilisé, mais pas ici. J'ai eu le droit à au moins cinq « t'étais perdu ? »Le connard d'homophobe totalement gay refoulé de ma classe qui bave devant moi mais qui fait semblant de pas pouvoir m'encadrer a fait une remarque adorable.- Ça t'as pris deux heures de trouver un jean assez moulant pour ton petit cul, chérie ?C'est ça, t'es pas du tout pédé toi.- Matte, fais toi plaisir.Vous voyez le topo. Bref. L'espèce de ... château dans lequel habite ...machin là, Achille... ou Hector ? Était plein de monde. A première vue il n'y avait pas que notre classe, ou alors vraiment je n’ai pas retenu leurs gueules. De toute façon je ne voyais pas les gens. Je cherchais Leo. Et je l'ai cherché un certain temps. Il n'était pas sur la piste. Il n'était pas en train de fumer dans l'aqua de la salle de bains. Pas en train de flirtez dans le parc – enfin le parc est trop grand pour que je le fouille, mais il n'était ni sur la balançoire ni dans le pool house donc ... Pas avachi dans les canapés.Il était dans la cuisine. Tout seul comme un perdu.Les gens qui restent dans la cuisine pendant les fêtes, ça a toujours été un mystère pour moi. Un ex-pote a bien essayé de m'expliquer que c'était genre, la pièce à ragots ou je ne sais quoi, la contre-soirée... ouais. Bref. Toujours est-il qu'il était assis seul à l'espèce de table-bar. Les mains jointes, les poignets posés sur le bord. J'avais le cœur qui battait vite. Je sais que c'est con dit comme ça, mais vraiment. Il battait plus vite que la normale, plus fort, je l'entendais en sourdine dans mes oreilles. Je me suis approché. J'avais envie de lui dire un milliard de truc. Sauf que ça foirait, rien ne sortait.Je ne sais pas draguer. Je ne drague jamais. Je suis un passif moi. Dans tous les sens du terme. Fin voilà. Je ne drague pas, je mets un slim qui moule mes fesses, je laisse mes cheveux me tomber devant les yeux et puis j'attends qu'on vienne me parler. Il y a toujours des mecs qui viennent me draguer et si j'en veux un en particulier, je le fixe les yeux grands ouverts et l'air timide jusqu'à qu'il craque. Les yeux bleus clairs et les tâches de rousseur, c'est imparable.Du coup j'ai juste dit « salut ». Il n'a pas répondu.D'accord, ça m'a soulé. D'office. Ça devenait super insultant. J'ai répété plus fort. Aucune réaction. Et je n’ai pas tenu, je me suis énervé. Parce que ce n'était vraiment pas juste. Je sais que je suis facilement super chiant, mais je n'en demandais pas beaucoup là. Juste un regard. Juste qu'on note que j'existe.- Leo !Il a eu un espèce de tremblement. Il a levé la tête vers moi, m'a regardé dans les yeux. Quand j'ai vu ses pupilles, j'ai compris. Il avait pris un truc. Ça m'a un peu choqué, sur le moment. Ce n’est pas le genre de mec que j'imagine en train de prendre des cachetons, plutôt à boire du vin, du blanc frais, en mangeant des chocolat. C'est un innocent, lui. Même si je crois bien qu'il a du couché avec au moins la moitié des filles de la classe, il reste... Comme, pur. Pas touché par la réalité. J'ai demandé :- T'as pris quoi ? »Il a eu un petit rire et il a rabaissé la tête.- Je ne sais pas. - Comment ça, " tu ne sais pas " ?- Bah j'sais pas.Et... C'est con mais ça m'a inquiété. Il n'avait pas l'air net du tout. Il était incapable de se concentrer, complètement ailleurs et il tremblait. Quand je lui ai dit de se lever il a trébuché. Carrément. Je ne sais pas vraiment ce qui m'a pris. Alors que j'étais comme un con depuis des mois, qu'il me rendait débile et frémissant et faible sans rien faire, là je... J'ai eu le courage. De lui parler comme à n'importe qui.- Ça ne va pas, hein ?- Pas trop.Alors je l'ai sorti de la cuisine. Sa pote Juliette – A moins que ça ne soit sa copine, je n'ai jamais compris leur relation – lui a sauté dessus à coups de " T'étais là bébé je m'inquiétais ".Bébé. Quel surnom de pouffe. Il m'a fait un signe de la main, a bafouillé un truc. Je ne sais pas quoi. Mais il a dit mon prénom. Ou alors il a juste dit « ça va ». Enfin il a dit " Sash… » et je n'ai pas entendu le reste. Après ça il a disparu quelque part et j'en tenté de m'amuser.J'ai rapidement laissé tomber l'amusement. Ce n’était pas au programme pour moi, ça l'est rarement. J'ai accepté un joint et je me suis dit que je lui avais parlé, que j'avais pris son bras, qu'il m'avait regardé, que c'était cool, que ça allait, que non, ma vie amoureuse n'était pas totalement misérable.Et puis il devait être quoi, presque minuit, je suis sorti dehors parce que je voulais me fumer une cigarette et parce que je détestais cet endroit et que je ne voulais pas être ici, je ne voulais pas faire le décompte d'avant minuit avec tous ces cons qui auraient pu m'accepter et m'apprécier mais j'avais trop peur du contraire pour les laisser faire. Je suis allé m'asseoir sur la margelle de la piscine. Elle est cool leur piscine. Toute en mosaïques et ils la vident l'hiver. Si je savais faire du skate, je voudrais en faire dedans. Je me suis allongé en arrière pour regarder les étoiles, pour fumer en regardant les étoiles et en essayant d'évacuer cette espèce de colère sourde en moi, cette lassitude qui était comme une fumée opaque en moi. J'ai fermé les yeux.Quand je les ai rouverts, au-dessus de moi, quelqu'un me regardait. Une voix très douce, nébuleuse, a murmuré :- Tu me fais essayer ?- Hein ?- Ta cigarette.- Quoi ?Il fallait le temps que les hémisphères de mon cerveau se reconnectent. Je me suis redressé. Leo s'est assis à côté de moi. Tout naturellement, avec cet air rêveur, il a demandé :- Ça va ?- Oui.- Moi aussi.C'était aussi plat que surréaliste. Il a ri, le genre de rire totalement détendu mais aussi légèrement hystérique que l'on a quand vraiment... On est... bien. J'ai redemandé :- T'as pris quoi ?- Trop de trucs.J'étais mal à l'aise et c'était vraiment trop con d'être mal à l'aise après tout le temps à attendre, à espérer, à désirer. Mais il n'y avait rien à faire. Les rêves qui deviennent réalité ne le font pas en silence. Il est descendu dans la piscine. Il a marché sur les mosaïques du fond, hésitant d'un pied sur l'autre, suivant un chemin dans sa tête. Il était dos à moi, il a dit :- Viens.Alors je suis descendu aussi, j'ai allumé une autre cigarette. Il a tendu les bras et s'est mis à tourner sur lui-même. Un gamin. Il tournait et plus il tournait, plus il rigolait. Ça a duré un certain temps, il se rapprochait de moi et quand il a été tout près, il a agrippé mon bras et s'est arrêté. Il est resté immobile un moment, à rire doucement et à me dire que le monde tournait.Par la baie vitrée entrouverte, on a entendu les autres scander : " 10, 9, 8..." Il a cessé de rire. Il m'a fixé et je crois que dans sa tête, le monde était redevenu droit. " 7, 6, 5 " Il a posé ses doigts sur ma bouche et m'a pris ma cigarette. Il l'a glissé entre ses lèvres, a tiré lentement dessus en regardant ailleurs, les étoiles ou le néant. " 4, 3, 2, " Il a recraché la fumée vers le ciel. Je l'ai regardé faire, incapable d'esquisser le moindre mouvement. Ne pouvant que fixer sa gorge, son visage tendu en arrière. " 1... " Il a baissé la tête, m'a regardé encore. Très vite. Sa main s'est plaqué sur mon torse, en haut, juste sous le cou et il m'a fait reculer vivement, jusqu'à que mon dos heurte le bord de la piscine, mon crâne avec, " 0 ! Bonne année ! "Il m'a embrassé. Il m'a embrassé comme dans un film. Il m'a embrassé de toute ses forces, il m'a embrassé à me faire totalement dessouler d'un coup, à me rendre fou, il m'a embrassé jusqu'à que je gémisse contre sa bouche, il m'a embrassé comme jamais personne ne m'avait embrassé et comme personne ne m'embrasserait plus jamais.Et c'est vrai que sa bouche aun gout de grenadine.Une voix l'a appelé, de l'intérieur. Il s'est détaché de moi et il a posé son doigt sur ma bouche avant de répondre.- Ouais ?- Qu'est-ce que tu fous ?- J'arrive.Il m'a regardé encore. Et son regard... C'est là que je me suis dit, peut-être qu'avant je n'étais pas amoureux de lui, peut-être que j'avais juste une obsession géante décuplée par le fait qu'il ne m'accordait aucune attention mais à ce moment-là je suis tombé amoureux. Parce que son regard me détachait du monde, me mettait en surimpression. Son regard était gris et argent et néant et mine de diamant. En plongeant dans ses yeux j'ai eu envie de faire l'amour avec lui et preuve que je n'avais peut-être pas tout à fait dessoulé, je lui ai dit. Je lui ai dit que j'avais envie de faire l'amour avec lui.Il n'a rien dit. Il m'a pris la main, m'a tiré hors de la piscine. On est passé dans la fête, dans le salon avec tout le monde, il me tenait toujours. Il s'est arrêté en plein milieu du salon et du bruit et des cris et des rires et des flashs. Il m'a embrassé encore plus passionnément, avec la langue et les dents. Le deuxième baiser, celui qui dit que le premier n'était pas une erreur du parcours. Il m'a tiré derrière lui, il connaissait la maison. On est allés dans une partie qui n'était pas ouverte pour la fête. On a traversé une salle à manger silencieuse, un autre salon plongé dans le noir, un couloir et puis on est entré dans une chambre. Il tenait toujours ma main. La sienne était froide et douce. Les volets étaient ouverts, ça donnait sur le parc à l'arrière. On était dans la pénombre. On s'est embrassé encore. J'ai arrêté de compter combien de fois. Ses doigts ont bataillé avec ma chemise et inversement. Nos jambes se sont emmêlées dans les draps, on a gardé nos jeans. La peau de son torse était douce sous mes lèvres. J'ai perdu la notion de tout. Il avait un drôle de tatouage, à l'encre blanche, mais je n'arrivais pas à voir, à lire les mots sur sa peau. Il a passé les doigts sur celui que j'avais presque au même endroit que le sien, sur le sternum. Il a murmuré :- La vie...Et ça m'a touché qu'il sache ce que c'était. On s'est embrassé jusqu'à en avoir les lèvres douloureuses à force de se mordre au passage. Puis en jean et torse nu, on s'est blottis sous la couette. Il m'a tenu dans ses bras, ma tête sur son cœur, ses doigts caressants mes épaules. je me suis endormi.Et parce que les histoires de trahison, d'humiliation et de réveils douloureux sont celles que je préfère, à mon réveil il n'était plus là. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- A-m-o-u-r-e-u-x.Je suis A-m-o-u-r-e-u-x.Quand je me suis réveillé tout seul, sur le coup, je dois dire que je me suis demandé si je venais pas de faire un joli petit rêve, si quoi que ce soit de tout ça était vrai, si je n'avais pas juste trop bu, fumé, sniffé, qu'importe, si ce n'était pas juste une grosse hallucination. D'accord, j'étais sous la couette sans tee-shirt, donc à première vue j'avais forcément fini avec quelqu'un, et comme ce n'est pas demain la veille que je vais m'intéresser aux meufs, c'était forcément un mec. La question était de savoir si c'était vraiment lui, ou si ÇA c'était mon esprit qui l'avait inventé. Mais j'avais l'odeur de sa peau sur les mains. Et l'odeur de sa peau, c'est quelque chose que je n'oublierais jamais quand bien même je vivrais 100 ans. Même si la probabilité est faible. Jamais je ne pourrais oublier l'odeur de sa peau. L'odeur de la peau du garçon dont je suis amoureux.J'ai l'impression que c'est la première fois que je tombe amoureux. Ce qui est complètement faux parce que je tombe amoureux tout le temps, depuis toujours, je tombe amoureux pour passer le temps, pour avoir une raison de me lever le matin et ça m'est déjà arrivé de me voir comme depuis l'extérieur, de contempler ma vie et de me dire que j'étais bien con d'être encore amoureux d'un abruti sans raison, mais je ne peux pas m'en empêcher.Mais là c'est différent. Beaucoup plus cosmique. Je suis sorti de la chambre. J'ai croisé quelques personnes endormies. L'œil vague, l'haleine lourde, les cheveux défaits. Je l'ai cherché du regard. Mais je ne l'ai vu nulle part, alors je suis parti. La tête pleine de rêves, la tête pleine de lui. Après, j'ai passé la journée à dormir et à attendre qu'il m'appelle alors qu'à ma connaissance il n'a pas mon numéro, à fouiller son Facebook pour la énième fois comme si de nouvelles choses allaient apparaitre, à soupirer et à penser à lui, à rêver de lui, à imaginer ses bras autour de moi et ses mains à la place des miennes.Il est si mignon. Je n'arrête pas d'y penser et je n'arrête pas de m'imaginer des trucs. C'est débile, c'est pas parce qu'on s'est pelotés à une fête qu'il est amoureux et tout mais je n'arrive pas à rester rationnel, je préfère penser à la façon dont il s'est endormi dans mes bras... A sa façon de jouer les insensibles, de ne laisser personne l'approcher sauf moi, seulement moi, parce qu'il m'aime aussi, il est juste timide. Je l'aime, qu'est-ce que je l'aime. Je rêve de lui, je ne fais plus que ça. Je ferme les yeux et j'imagine, j'imagine ses mains et ses yeux et sa bouche et la sueur sur son dos quand on fera l'amour.Il a fallu qu'il soit complètement défoncé pour oser me parler. Il est si timide. Mon amoureux... Je regarde mon téléphone en rêvant. Je ne fais plus que ça je crois, planer au-dessus des océans et me tordre dans ma couette. J'ai juste tellement hâte, tellement hâte de le voir. On ira marcher sur le bord de l'eau main dans la main. Il aura honte, d'abord, puis il m'avouera ses sentiments et on s'embrassera tout doucement. J'ai hâte de tenir sa main, j'ai hâte de l'embrasser encore, j'ai hâte d'être nu dans ses bras, j'ai hâte d'être tout à lui.Je l'aime. Je l'aime. Je n'avais pas été aussi heureux depuis si longtemps... ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Hier j'étais tellement heureux. Ce matin encore, même. Je volais dans les ciels les plus hauts. L'air avait ce parfum, et j'étais amoureux. J'étais sur une autre planète ou quoi ?Que quelqu'un m'explique une bonne fois pour toutes pourquoi je ne tombe amoureux que d'enfoirés. Pourquoi tous les mecs qui font emballer mon cœur ne sont qu'un sacré paquet de salauds. Qui ne pensent qu'à jouer, qu'à s'envoyer à l'air, et puis qu'à tout foutre par terre ensuite. Ou alors c'est moi ? Je cherche, peut être ? Ou je n'ai que ce que je mérite ?Leo. Enfoiré. Dire que j'étais amoureux. Je nageais en plein rêve. En plein délire, oui. Connard. Pauvre connard. Qu'est-ce que j'ai encore foutu ? Qu'est-ce que j'ai fait, pour mériter ça ? Qu'est-ce que j'ai fait de mal, hein ? Quelle connerie j'ai bien pu faire pour être puni aussi longtemps ? Je ne suis qu'un jouet pour les mecs comme ça. Un jouet qu'ils se foutent bien de briser. Pourquoi j'y ai cru ? Pourquoi j'ai cru qu'il était différent ? Sur quoi je me suis basé, hein ? Qu'est-ce que je peux être con. C'est parce que je l'ai vu pleurer, tout ça ? Je l'ai vu chialer une fois, sans retenue, j'ai prie sa beauté en plein visage et ça m'a suffit.On peut faire la même erreur cent fois on s'étonne toujours quand tombe la sentence.Quand je suis arrivé en cours ce matin j'avais la boule au ventre. J'avais tellement attendu, ça faisait une semaine que je voulais tellement le voir, une semaine que je rêvais nuit et jour de lui. Je savais bien qu'il n'allait pas me tomber dans les bras comme une fleur. Qu'il serait timide, qu'il aurait peut-être même honte. Je savais que ça ne serais pas facile. Mais je ne m'attendais pas à... Ça.Juliette était assise sur l'une des tables, comme une reine entourée de sa cour. Elle avait un paquet de photo dans les mains, qu'elle montrait à tout le monde.- Et là c'est Jules et Pierre-Edouard dans la piscine... Et là c'est quand on a fait la bataille d'oreillers...Et puis elle m'a interpellé.- Sasha ! Sasha, t'as vu LA super photo de toi et Leo que j'ai ?Je crois que c'était la plus belle phrase que je n'ai jamais entendu de ma vie. Et ce qui a rendu cette phrase au moins dix fois plus magnifique, c'est que Leo est arrivé au même moment. Il ne m'a pas regardé. Il avait les mains enfoncées dans les poches de sa veste. Il s'est approché d'elle mais j'étais plus proche. J'ai vu la photo avant lui. C'était nous deux. Debout. Au milieu du salon. En train de nous embrasser passionnément.En plus la photo était superbe. J'étais tellement heureux que je me suis complètement cramé direct. Je me suis mordu les lèvres en souriant. Notre premier baiser, ou presque. J'étais à deux doigts de demander à Juliette si elle pouvait me l'envoyer - J'étais déjà en train d'imaginer que j'allais la faire tirer en grand et l'encadrer - quand Leo a vu la photo. Il l'a arraché des mains de Juliette. Tellement brusquement que ça m'a mis mal à l'aise.Il a regardé la photo. Un long moment, sans rien dire. Tout le monde le fixait. Et puis il a levé les yeux vers moi. Lentement. Il m'a regardé comme... Je sais pas. Méfiant. Accusateur. Dégouté, aussi, un peu. C'est le premier et le dernier regard qu'il m'a adressé de la journée. Il s'est tourné vers Juliette, les doigts crispés sur la photo, et c'est à elle qu'il a demandé :- C'est quoi, ce délire ?Elle a haussé les épaules.- Bah, c'est toi et Sasha en tr...- Je ne me rappelle absolument pas avoir fait ça. Ou avoir voulu faire ça.C'est moi qui ai demandé :- Pardon ?Mais il ne m'a pas regardé. Il a répété :- Je ne me rappelle pas.J'étais abasourdi. Il se foutait de ma gueule ? Il a chiffonné la photo dans sa main, j'ai regardé le plastique brillant se tordre et dans ma tête, l'agrandissement encadré à dégringolé du mur et à pris feu.- De toute façon je n'ai aucun souvenir de cette soirée.Il a lâché la photo froissée sur le sol, elle a glissé et est allée se perdre sous une table. Il a fait demi-tour et il est sorti du foyer. Tout le monde l'a regardé partir, puis quand il a été hors de vue, tout le monde m'a fixé moi.Merde. Enfoiré. Je suis sorti à sa suite j'ai appelé :- Leo !Il a marché plus vite. Il est ressorti du lycée. Enfoiré. Enfoiré, enfoiré, enfoiré. Quelle excuse minable et pitoyable et ridicule. Je le déteste, je le hais, j'aurais voulu ne jamais le rencontrer. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Photo décrite par Sasha dans son journal dans l'entrée précédente.La photo, imprimée sur du papier brillant, a été durablement froissée avant d'être récupérée et mise à plat. Elle montre distinctement Leo et Sasha enlacés, en train de s'embrasser, au milieu du salon de la fête décrite ci-avant. D'autres protagonistes non nommés ainsi qu'une personne identifiée comme " Juliette " sont présents sur la photo. Sur la table basse derrière Leo et Sasha, on distingue plusieurs bouteilles d'alcool. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Enfoiré. Quel Enfoiré. Quel putain d'enfoiré. Quel merveilleux adorable sublime enfoiré.Rien. Pas un mot. Pas un regard. J'ai droit à rien, à rien du tout. Avant il avait l'air de ne pas me voir, maintenant il m'ignore exprès. C'est comme un coup de poing à chaque fois que j'entre dans son champ de vision et qu'il détourne la tête. A chaque fois qu'il sourit à quelqu'un d'autre que moi ça me fait mal, parce qu'à moi il ne sourira plus jamais. Heureusement qu'il ne sourit pas souvent.J'observe sa cour. J'observe ces filles qui gravitent autour de lui. Je sais qu'il a couché avec certaines, aux soirées. Et il continue à leur parler. Il continue de les regarder, parfois je le vois en train de flirter. Alors pourquoi pas moi ? Pourquoi moi, je n'ai pas le droit à ça ? Pourquoi moi, il m'ignore ? Pourquoi moi, il me traite comme une erreur ? Pourquoi moi, il a honte ? Pourquoi moi, il fait comme si je n'existais pas ? Il ne sait pas que ça fait mal ? Il ne sait pas comme ça tue ? Parce que ça tue. Ça brule et ça glace en même temps. Son regard me traverse comme si j'étais transparent et je me poserais presque la question. Est-ce que j'existe encore ? Il m'a fait disparaitre de la surface de la terre. Il nie que j'existe à chaque fois qu'il regarde à travers moi. Et moi, je n'ai plus envie d'exister si pour lui je suis disparu. Ça ne m'intéresse pas.Putain mais quoi, c'est parce que j'ai une bite ? T'en as une aussi, elle te dégoute la tienne ? Oui, non, et ta mère ?Alors je fais le genre de conneries que je fais à chaque fois. Je me nourris de Baileys et de cigarettes mentholées, je passe la nuit dans n'importe quels bras et la journée à regarder le plafond. Je deviens une caricature. Et quand plus rien n'a de sens, je joue du violon à m'en écorcher le menton. Qu'est-ce que ça peut foutre d'être bien foutu, bien habillé, bien coiffé, parfumé, amusant, charmant, poli, dragueur, gentil ou méchant, qu'est-ce que ça peut foutre d'exister si personne ne le sait ?Enfoiré. Enfoiré.Peut-être que dans une autre vie je serais capable de te briser comme tu m'as brisé, mais dans celle-ci de vie, je t'aime et ça fait un mal de chien.Mais là, je vais juste chialer. Je vais juste chialer jusqu'à avoir le visage bouffi et je serais moche mais de toute façon tu ne me regardes pas, enfoiré. Et puis je vais t'aimer, je vais t'aimer parce qu'à chaque fois que je ferme les yeux, je revois ta bouche, je revois tes bras, parce que je suis amoureux de toi, accroché comme une foutue tique, t'es vraiment qu'un enfoiré. Si tu me parlais, pourtant, si tu me disais juste, si tu me regardais et que tu me disais que t'en a rien à foutre de moi, que tu veux pas que je m'approche, si tu me faisais vraiment mal, peut être que j'aurais une chance, peut être que je pourrais te mettre dans une putain de case et te dire adieu, putain, si tu pouvais faire ça. Si tu pouvais me le dire clairement, si tu pouvais m'attraper par le col et taper ma tête contre un mur et me dire " Sasha ", si tu prononçais juste mon prénom... Si tu disais " Sasha, m'approche plus jamais, ne me parle plus jamais, j'étais drogué, t'aurais jamais dû, m'approche plus espèce de connard ", si tu faisais ça j'aurais une chance.Sauf que toi, là, tu m'ignores tellement que je n’y arrive pas... Je n’arrive pas à effacer cette goutte d'espoir, cette minuscule ridicule pensée, ce truc en moi qui me dit qu'il y a autre chose, qu'il n'y a pas que ça. Je n’arrive pas à t'effacer. A chaque fois que tu détournes la tête, ça fait mal à en crever, mais à chaque fois tu as cherché à m'éviter, et cette attention-là, même si c'est comme une lame, ça fait mal mais je sais que je suis dans ta tête. À chaque fois que tu ne me regardes pas je sais que je suis dans ta tête.Je t'aime, enfoiré, je t'aime.Et je ne peux pas me détacher de toi. Parce que en faisant tout ça, tu me retiens, tu me fais espérer, tu me fais me demander, pourquoi, tu me fais tellement mal que je ne peux pas lâcher, j'ai peur de crever. C'est pour ça que je continue Leo... C'est pour ça que je continue à te regarder. Parle-moi... Même si c'est pour hurler, même si c'est pour mentir encore, quelle que soit la raison, parle-moi, même si tu me détestes, j'ai besoin que tu t'adresses à moi. Dis-moi que j'existe, ou même regarde-moi. Regarde-moi. J'ai besoin que tu me regardes au moins une fois. Je n’ai pas mérité ça. Ne me laisse pas crever comme ça.Je ne voulais pas tomber amoureux de toi. Je suis désolé. Mais ne me laisse pas crever comme ça. J'ai trop mal, mon amour. Ça fait mal de ne plus exister. Et ce soir je vais m'endormir et je vais penser à toi, parce que je suis raide dingue de toi, et que tu peux me fouler aux pieds ça ne m'arrête pas.Parce que je suis con et que je dois bien aimer souffrir.Je n'arrive pas à exister autrement. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Type : Fichier PDFTaille : 56KoTitre : Partition Violon Je Vais t'AimerInclut dans le dossier : Trucs Divers. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Il... m'a... Il m'a... Il m'a vraiment ?Je tremble tellement que j'ai du mal à écrire. Il a vraiment fait ça ? Est-ce que je rêve, ou quoi, hein ? Je rêve c'est ça ? J'ai encore trop bu, ou fumé la moquette, ou c'est le virus H1N1 ? Non parce que sérieusement, quel est le pourcentage de chance, pour que dans la VRAIE VIE RÉELLE, la putain de vraie vie réelle avec ta mère demain, pas celle que je ne fais que rêver, dans la vraie vie, le pourcentage de chance pour que Leo, le mec qui fait comme si je n'existais pas, fasse ça, hein ?Quel est le pourcentage de chance pour que Leo me défende ? C'est quoi le délire, il essaye de s'acheter une conduite ou bien ? Donc clairement, j'ai dû rêver, voilà c'est tout, ce n'est pas arrivé, fin. Et puis c'est arrivé d'un coup, c'est pas comme s'il avait commencé à me regarder à nouveau avant ou je ne sais pas. Non non.Je ne sais pas pourquoi je réagis comme ça. Je veux dire.... Je crois qu'il y a deux mois, j'aurais sauté partout en me mourant d'amour, mais là... Même pas. Parce que... Parce qu'il se fout bien de ma gueule. Non mais c'est vrai, attendez. Il ne peut pas faire semblant d'ignorer que j'existe et puis se la jouer grand prince et me défendre contre trois des connards de cette classe qui veulent se la jouer caïd en faisant trois blagues cochonnes au gay de service. Il ne peut pas c'est tout. Il ne peut pas faire comme si d'un seul coup, il se souciait de moi alors qu'il n'en a jamais rien eu à foutre du tout. Il n’a juste pas le droit. C'est trop facile.Et je l'emmerde. Sérieusement. Parce que je sais qu'il m'aura fallu un certain temps pour m'en rendre compte, mais ce mec est juste un enfoiré, voilà. Une saleté d'enfoiré qui me prend pour une peluche, pour un truc vide qui n'a pas de sentiments à l'intérieur. Il croit quoi, ce connard ? Qu'il va effacer tout ce temps où il s'est comporté comme un putain d'enfoiré qui n'en avait rien à foutre de rien juste parce que quand les trois débiles ont commencé à me coincer dans un coin des vestiaires et à me soulever de force mon tee-shirt, il a lancé un « foutez lui la paix » ? Il croit aux petits poneys ? Il va faire quoi ensuite ? M'apporter un gâteau avec marqué " DSL" en smarties ? Il a trop regardé Journal d'une princesse ?Putain ce que je peux être énervé. C'est marrant parce que quand je relis mon journal à l'époque de notre rencontre, j'étais trop happy de la vie, genre « il m'a parlé, il m'a parlé » comme une petite sixième et tout alors que là, c'est comme si j'étais redescendu. Je n'avais qu'une envie, c'est que c'est trois pédés refoulés de mes deux aillent lui soulever son tee-shirt à lui, et puis quelques doigts dans le cul aussi histoire d'être correct. Mais bien sûr que non. Personne n'emmerde Leo. Personne n'emmerde le petit protégé du mec le plus populaire de tout le lycée.Quelle tapette.Oui c'est moi la tapette dans l'histoire, oui je vous emmerde, CQFD.Bref. Tout ça pour dire que c'est un enfoiré. Et que je m'en veux de pas lui avoir dit que je n'avais pas besoin de son aide, je m'en veux de ne pas lui avoir dit « MEC T'ES PATHETIQUE » Parce que c'est ça qu'il est, le petit Leo. Pathétique. Super beaucoup pathétique.BREF. De toute façon j'en n'ai plus rien à foutre de ce connard. J'ai mieux à faire. Sincèrement. Alors pour changer, je vais sortir, je vais fumer, je vais m'asseoir sur le bord de la passerelle piétonne et je vais réfléchir à l'opportunité de sauter. Et puis je ne vais pas le faire parce qu’il ne faudrait pas abuser non plus. Je vais rentrer, je vais sortir, je vais baiser je vais dormir et tout va recommencer etc. etc. etc.Fais chier.Est-ce que je vais tomber amoureux, un jour ? Est-ce que je vais aimer et être aimé en retour ? je voudrais juste ne plus craquer pour des enfoirés. Je voudrais juste que quelqu'un me serre dans ses bras sans rien me demander de plus.Je voudrais juste que quelqu'un m'aime... ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Mais pour qui il se prend, exactement ? Il croit vraiment qu'il peut arriver comme ça la gueule enfarinée ? Non mais sérieusement, j'étais vraiment amoureux de.... D'un con pareil ?Oui je ne parle que de Leo, mais en même temps il ne se passe rien dans ma vie. Je sors, je bois, je m'envoie en l'air, j'étudie un peu, je fais beaucoup de violon, je m'envoie encore en l'air, je ne bouffe pas, je m'achète plein de fringues de luxe, je dessine de nouveaux tatouages que j'ai toujours la flemme d'aller faire, je dors, je fume, je sors, je m'envoie en l'air, je fais du violon et puis je recommence. Passionnant.Donc, Leo. Leo qui, un beau matin, alors que, je vous rappelle qu'on se parle toujours pas hein, Leo qui arrive comme une fleur.- Sasha ?Wholala il connaît mon prénom MESDAMES MESSIEURS NON SEULEMENT IL CAUSE MAIS ENCORE IL CONNAIT MON PRENOM. Mieux qu'un singe savant.... Connard.Bref. Je ne réponds pas, ma salive a des utilisations gravement plus intéressantes que de causer à ce con, genre faire des trucs à des mecs plus sympa et moins hautains – je ne ferais pas de dessins mais, je sais pas, quand il m'a parlé j'étais sidéré et puis j'étais heureux et l'instant d'après j'étais énervé alors au final, j'ai pas parlé. Au contraire. je l'ai regardé genre T'AS VU JE SUIS MOINS UN ENFOIRÉ QUE TOI, MOI JE TE REGARDE QUAND TU PARLES JE T'IGNORES PAS PUTAIN.- On pourrait parler ?Je ne parlerais pas. Je ne dirais pas un mot. Tu peux chialer pour entendre ma voix enfoiré, toi et tes saloperies, toi et tes airs hautains, toi et tes yeux couleur de pluie et tes putains de taches de rousseur, je n’avais jamais vu que t'avais des taches de rousseur, merde. J'ai haussé les épaules.- On va ailleurs ?Et je me disais, mais il est sérieux putain, il est sérieux, il veut quoi, que je lui fasse des trucs dans un placard ? Mais qu'il prenne une putain de corde et qu'il se fasse un joli petit nœud autour du cou, je sais pas moi, pourquoi je ne dis pas non, hein ? Pourquoi je dis oui, pourquoi j'ouvre la bouche pour parler ? Parce que j'ai dit oui, là, avec la bouche et tout, avec le son.On se retrouve tous les deux dans un coin et j'ai cette impression, comme si j'allais me faire salement engueuler, comme si j'avais fait une connerie, et il me regarde sans rien dire et il se passe la langue sur les lèvres, merde, pourquoi il fait ça ?- Écoute, heu...Il penche la tête en avant et ses cheveux lui tombent devant les yeux. Ses cheveux lui tombent devant les yeux et il les remet en place du bout des doigts. Quand il redresse la tête en repoussant ses cheveux en arrière, il me sourit. Un petit sourire un peu gêné, un peu compliqué, un petit sourire qui me tue.Je retombe amoureux. Pour un petit moment seulement vous allez voir, mais quand même.- Je voulais juste savoir...Parle, mais parle, je ne sais même pas ce que tu dis, je regarde juste ta bouche et tu vas voir, c'est moi qui vais te traîner dans ce placard pour qu'on fasse l'amour pour de bon, tu vas voir. Merde à quoi tu joues à être mignon comme ça, j'ai complètement oublié que t'étais un enfoiré, j'ai juste envie que ça soit toi. J'ai envie que ça soit toi, tu comprends ? Celui qui est sur cette terre pour moi, celui qui va m'aimer à jamais. J'ai envie que ce soit toi, j'ai besoin que ce soit toi.- ...Au Nouvel An, je sais que ça fait longtemps maintenant mais, comment est-ce que... Et puis, lequel de nous deux a commencé à embrasser l'autre, genre.- C'est toi.Et là je me rue sur lui et je l'embrasse de toutes mes forces.... Non, heu, dans mes rêves en fait. En fait je ne dis rien. Parce que... Parce que je ne sais pas où il veut en venir mais je crois que la température de mon corps est montée à 100°C et que mon sang est en train de bouillir. Alors je ne dis rien. Je le regarde avec la bouche ouverte en me demandant si je peux lui demander un rendez-vous ou si c'est un peu trop tôt. Et, pendant un long moment, je ne peux vraiment pas répondre du tout. Il finit par me regarder étrangement, alors je murmure juste " Toi."Il fronce les sourcils. Je commence à dire, tu m'as plaqué contre le mur de la piscine mais Il secoue la tête. Il dit « non ». Je comprends pas.- Mais si, c'était toi.- Le seul qui est gay dans l'histoire c'est toi, donc non.Oh whoah. C'était d'une telle violence, ça.- Ne me pose pas la question si tu me crois pas.Et je ne sais pas ce qui se passe en lui. A l'intérieur. Parce qu'il reste impassible, il était si souriant il y a une minute, craquant, timide et là, il est... Si méchant et froid et... J'essaye de me défendre mais j'y arrive pas. Pas bien.- Ça te panique tant que ça d'imaginer que t'as pu aimer...- Non. ça ne me panique pas. Mais moi je me serais pas jeté sur toi, même défoncé. Parce que tu ne m'intéresse pas. Alors que toi si. Toi tu t'es jeté sur moi alors que je n’étais pas dans mon état normal. Parce que t'es vraiment un enfoiré.Et il s'en va et me laisse là. Après m'avoir dit des méchancetés.Il m'a fait retombé amoureux et une minute plus tard, il m'a brisé le cœur une seconde fois.J'ai quitté le lycée avant de me mettre à chialer. Je suis rentré chez moi et je n'arrivais même pas à jouer du violon tellement mes doigts tremblaient. Alors je me suis roulé en boule dans mon lit, et j'ai chialé. Je chiale, là Plus tard. Quand j'ai eu fini de chialer, j'ai appelé n'importe quel mec de mon répertoire. Dans ses bras, j'ai essayé d'oublier, mais je le savais déjà, que ça ne marchait pas comme ça. Pas cette fois, pas quand on m'a fait si mal, quand on pense de moi des trucs si nuls. Alors quand il est retombé dans mes draps, je suis allé m'enfermer dans la salle de bains. Je me suis glissé sous le jet d'eau tellement chaud que je deviens rouge vif en 15secondes.Et j'ai chialé jusqu'à que mes yeux me fassent mal. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Je ne suis pas chez moi, là. Je suis chez ce mec. Maxime je crois. Je sais plus. Dans mon répertoire il y avait juste marqué " M, 6, 9, <3 ". C'est un code. Initiale, performances, ....Quota de... gentillesse, et le smiley parce que je suis trop mignon <3.Donc c'est peut-être ... Martin...ou Mika... Ou M... Un autre prénom en M. Il dort, là. Il est allongé dans les draps à côté de moi et je le regarde dormir. Il n'est pas très beau. Il a la peau trop pâle avec toutes ces taches de rousseur et ces cheveux en bordel comme de la paille. Et son studio est juste complètement minable, en fait. Dans la banlieue, loin de chez moi. Mais je ne savais pas où aller.J'écris avec la lumière qui filtre par la porte de la salle de bains. L'endroit est un peu glauque. Il y a des cartons de pizza qui traîne, de la poussière. Tout ce bordel informatique et les draps sont tachés, de tas de trucs. Mais en même temps, je m'y sens bien. Je ne sais pas. Il fait chaud. Tiède. Ça a quelque chose de douillet. Peut-être que c'est juste parce que M...Machin me rassure. Il n'est pas très beau, et au lit ce n’est pas non plus un as, mais... il est gentil. Et parfois j'oublie à quel point ça me manque. Que quelqu'un soit gentil avec moi.Enfin bref. C'était vraiment une soirée de merde, dans tous les cas. Je suis rentré chez moi à peut-être vingt-trois heures. Et il y avait ma mère dans le salon. Je ne sais pas ce qu'elle faisait là. Elle n'habite même pas ici. Elle passe à l'improviste maintenant. Plus seulement le dimanche pour vérifier que je vais bien et me filer de l'argent. Toujours est-il qu'elle était avachie dans le canapé, avec une coupe de Veuve Clicquot, en train de rire. Et sur le canapé d'en face, il y avait un mec que j'ai présupposé être son petit ami, mais qu malgré sa tête de loveur, avait l'air à peine assez âgé pour voter dans tous les pays. Et elle riait et quand je suis entré, elle a soulevé par deux doigts quelque chose que j'ai mis un petit temps à reconnaître. Mon journal.Et elle disait, je ne comprenais pas bien parce qu'elle parlait à toute vitesse et que j'étais tellement en colère que j'entendais plus rien, elle disait Alors comme ça Sasha, chéri, alors comme ça tu es amoureux et tu ne le dis pas à ta maman ? Et puis elle a renversé un peu de vin sur mon journal, et elle m'a cité :« Son visage était la pluie.Le déluge de son visage est passé dans mon cœurEt je suis tombé amoureux comme on se noie. »- Je ne te savais pas poète, mon chéri.Et elle rigolait et elle avait le hoquet à cause de l'alcool et elle était morte de rire de ce que j'avais écrit et plus les secondes passaient plus je m'en rendais compte qu'elle avait fouillé ma chambre qu'elle avait trouvé mon journal qu'elle l'avait lu qu'elle s'en moquait qu'elle rigolait que son mec me regardait qu'elle en tachait les pages avec son vin et puis avant que j'ai pu finir tout à fais de me rendre compte je l'ai frappé.Elle s'est débattu, on a crié, je ne sais même pas comment c'est arrivé, j'étais juste fou de rage, et puis elle me frappait aussi, j'ai récupéré mon journal et cette salope me hurlait de me casser de sa putain de baraque et je lui disais Mais t'habite même pas ici putain et cet appart il est à papa pas à toi tu me vires pas de chez moi. Mais elle voulait pas me lâcher, elle voulait pas arrêter de hurler alors j'ai foutu mon violon dans mon sac parce que la dernière fois elle l'avait cassé dans un accès de rage, mon journal et puis je suis ressorti parce que je ne voulais pas rester avec elle, parce que j'avais mal au cœur et que je n'avais peur d'elle. Et je me suis trouvé comme un con dans la rue à vingt-trois heures trente.J'ai traversé le fleuve et je me suis assis sur la berge, en face de l'appartement de Leo et je voyais sa fenêtre toujours allumée et ce n'était pas juste. Parce que même dans des moments comme ça je pensais encore à cet enfoiré et j'avais envie de grimper à sa fenêtre et de lui demander de s'occuper de moi mais c'était un enfoiré et il n'en avait rien à foutre de moi alors j'ai fouillé mon répertoire en me disant que dans la centaine de mecs que j'avais fréquenté depuis que j'étais ici il y en avait bien un qui... Sauf que je me suis heurté à quelques problèmes.D'abord je ne prends pas souvent le numéro des mecs. En général, on ne rentre même pas chez moi, je veux dire... Y a des toilettes, des alcôves, des portes cochères, ce n'est pas pour les chiens, pas besoin d'un lit, si ? Non, clairement pas. Et puis quand je les ramène chez moi, en général, ce n'est pas non plus... C'est plus... Voilà ma chambre, tac tac, salut au plaisir, vous voyez.Je prends pas les numéros des gens. Je veux dire, sauf si j'ai envie de les revoir. Mais j'ai rarement envie de les revoir. Résultat, il n’y avait que cinq numéros de gens qui habitait dans le périmètre, en plus de quelques numéros de gens du lycée bien sûr. Mais plutôt me tirer une balle que de me faire héberger par les petits connards de mon lycée. Et puis j'étais assis en face de chez Leo à chialer un coup et j'ai regardé les cinq numéros, et j'ai appelé M. Max, là. Machin. Le mec dans le lit.Parce que......Parce que je les notes, vous voyez. Et certes, 6/10 ce n'est pas top, mais je n’avais pas vraiment envie. Enfin... Enfin si mais... J'avais juste envie que... D'un câlin. Et pour ça, 9/10 c'est bien. Enfin voilà. Du coup... je l'ai appelé, et clairement, il n’avait aucune idée de qui j'étais. Alors j'ai dû un peu lui rafraîchir la mémoire, même si moi aussi j'avais du mal à le remettre, à vrai dire. " Tu sais, Sasha, on a couché ensemble y a un mois ou deux, heu... " et je savais pas quoi dire d'autre. Mais il m'a filé son adresse et j'ai pris un taxi. Et je me suis retrouvé là, avec mon violon, mon journal et rien d'autre. Il était minuit. Je n'avais pas envie de raconter ma vie. Pas envie de chialer dans ses bras parce que ça le gênerait. Je voulais juste un câlin. Alors quand on a eu fini de coucher ensemble dans le canapé lit déplié, dans les draps plein de sueur, je me suis blotti contre son torse et parce que c'est un gentil, il m'a fait un câlin.Il m'a même gardé dans ses bras, jusqu'à s'endormir, et ça c'était bien.Et là j'écris, parce qu'il est gentil mais que son studio est minable et sent le renfermé et que je n’ai pas envie d'être là, que j'aurais dû me payer une chambre d'hôtel au lieu de l'appeler, mais que je voulais juste ne pas être seul, voilà tout. Il n'est pas si moche, au fond. Sa peau est douce. Ses mains sont calleuses. Il est gentil.Alors je vais arrêter d'écrire, maintenant. Je vais voir si je peux avoir un autre câlin. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Au départ, c'est ma psy qui a eu l'idée du journal. Oui, c'est cliché, je vous l'accorde. Toujours est-il que voilà. Du coup, au début, j'essayais de le tenir tous les jours comme un garçon parfait. Et puis je me suis rendu compte qu'en fait je n’étais pas un garçon parfait. Du tout. Que dalle. Raté. Faux. Donc je ne vois pas pourquoi je me casserais le cul à écrire dans mon journal tous les jours. Je n'ai rien contre me casser le cul mais j'ai de meilleurs options pour y parvenir.Bref. Du coup, on est en juillet, la dernière fois que j'ai écrit on était en mai... La vie quoi. De toute façon il se passe quoi exactement dans ma vie ? Bah rien. Que dalle encore. J'ai passé le bac de français et je n’en ai aucun souvenir. Pour vous dire comme ma vie me passionne. Tout ça pour dire que c'est les grandes vacances, que la maison de mon père en suisse est en RÉNOVATION et que je dois rester tout seul dans cet appart tout l'été ou partir en vacances avec ma mère....Ouais.Du coup j'ai fait les courses pour deux mois parce que je ne dégagerais pas d'ici. Voilà... Et sinon, dans le genre nouvelle passionnante de folie, je suis invité à la PREMIÈRE POOL PARTY DE L’ÉTÉ de ma classe C'EST TROP GENIAL OUAIISIISIISIAZHFUAFUIAJOAZK.Oui c'est ironique. Mais je vais y aller quand même. Parce que je n'ai rien de mieux à faire. J'ai jamais rien de mieux à faire de toute façon. Ça fait une semaine qu'on est en vacances, je me lève à 21h, je me couche à 6h du matin, je dors donc quinze heures, vous êtes trop forts. Bon en fait je dois en dormir environ cinq, mais j'en passe dix à fumer dans mon lit en regardant le plafond ou en lisant du porno et puis parfois je joue du violon. Je me fais gravement chier et ça ne fait qu'une semaine.La probabilité qu'en rentrant fin août ma mère me trouve mort dans le salon augmente de jour en jour. J'en suis au point où je pourrais avoir des envies suicidaires juste pour cesser de m'emmerder. Parce que je m'emmerde mais tellement.Bon voilà. Donc il est 21h. La soirée commençait à 18h. Il serait temps que j'y aille. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- J'hésite. Vraiment j'hésite. Posons-nous les bonnes questions.Est-ce que Leo est un enfoiré ?Ouais.Est-ce que Leo m'emmerde ?Ouais.Est-ce que j'ai envie qu'il me retourne contre le mur ?ET COMMENT.Et le pire c'est qu'à chaque fois que je le vois, j'ai juste le cœur qui commence à pomper trop de sang et si on m'ouvrait les veines ça ferait jet de 8m. Parce que je craque tellement sur lui qu'à ce stade on dit plus craquer sûr, on dit être totalement à fond à fond à fond amoureux. Et à chaque fois, JE LUI BALANCE DES VANNES. J'ai des putains de problème. Bref.Donc. Déjà, honnêtement, quand je suis arrivé à la fête, je me sentais un poil con. Tous les mecs étaient là dans la piscine ou assis sur le bord, en maillot ou en short débardeur, il y avait foule, on se serait cru dans une fête à l'américaine, tout le monde rigolait, sono, bouffe, alcool, tout ça quoi. Déjà, quinze mecs torses nus dans la piscine, perso ça me met de bonne humeur. Même quand le connard homophobe totalement gay refoulé de ma classe m'attrape par derrière, me colle la main sur la ceinture et me demande par lequel j'ai le plus envie de me faire mettre sale tapette. Ça me met quand même de bonne humeur.Tout ça pour dire. Je cherche Leo. Évidemment. Je ne renonce jamais. Et pour pouvoir l'ignorer avec brio, faut d'abord que je le trouve.Il était assis sur la balançoire. Avec une fille à ses pieds bien sûr. Habillé comme toujours, en slim et en tee shirt à manches longues relevées sur ses avant-bras. Je voudrais lui dire qu'il fait chaud merde, encore que, il est 22h, mais même, mais bref. Je ne suis pas en short non plus donc... Je croise son regard, il me sourit et je détourne la tête comme s'il ne méritait pas mon attention. Alors qu'à ce moment, j'avais DÉJÀ envie de lui sauter dessus. Je ne vais pas vous raconter la soirée, elle craignait. Enfin non mais je me suis barré tôt quand même. Vers 2h du matin je crois. Encore assez net. C'était loin, mais je ne sais pas, j'en eu envie de rentrer à pieds. En longeant le fleuve ça pouvait être sympa. Donc j'ai fait ça. Et j'étais quasiment chez moi quand j'ai entendu un bruit de course derrière moi et je l'ai vu.Lui non, parce qu'il courrait avec ses écouteurs sur les oreilles. Quand il est passé à côté de moi j'ai appelé, il a sursauté et il s'est cassé la gueule.(BIEN FAIT POUR TOI GROS CON)Mais je ne pouvais pas l'ignorer, là. On était seuls, je ne sais pas... J'avais toujours autant envie de lui, merde. Et le truc c'est que quand je dis ça, c'est que c'est pas comme si j'avais juste envie, de faire l'amour ou un truc comme ça, c'est encore moins clair, encore plus physique, je crois que ce dont j'avais envie c'était de le coller contre moi et de serrer, serrer jusqu'à me fondre. Je lui ai tendu la main pour l'aider à se relever, il ne l'a pas prise et je savais qu'il ne le ferait pas. Alors j'ai dit :- Tu n'aimes pas qu'on te touche.- Comment tu le sais ?- Tu as toujours cette façon de t'écarter des gens et de ranger tes mains dans tes poches.Et il a rougi et je ne sais pas... Peut-être parce que je venais d'avouer que je l'observais pas mal, pour quelqu'un qui l'ignore. On a parlé. De ça. Comme ça. D'un coup. On marchait vers chez nous et je lui ai demandé pourquoi il n'aimait pas, et il ne savait pas quoi répondre, et puis on discutait et là, il m'a dit que quand il buvait il devenait tactile. Et je ne sais pas ce qui m'a pris.- Je sais ouais. Bourré tu t'es tapé la moitié de la classe.Il a eu l'air... mais tellement blessé. Alors qu'au fond ça ne devrait pas être blessant, mais le ton l'était, peut être. Il a repoussé ses cheveux en arrière, mal à l'aise.- Pourquoi tu dis ça ?- Parce que c'est la vérité. »Il a cligné des yeux. Il ne souriait pas. Il avait l'air mal et c'était étrange à voir. Puis il a froncé les sourcils. On était arrivé devant chez moi, il m'a dit, je ne l'oublierais jamais, il m'a dit :- Et toi tu n’aimes personne, tu nous méprise tous mais t'as tellement personne à qui parler que tu viens quand même à toutes les soirées, ça aussi c'est la vérité, non ?C'était tellement méchant. Tellement pas lui de balancer une pique pareille et je l'avais pas mérité, c'était pas équivalent. C'est pas mon genre de frapper, pas avec les poings, avec les mots je peux, taper plus fort que lui. Alors on s'est regardé, si proches et j'avais même pas envie de l'embrasser ;- Et s’il y avait le moindre de tes potes par ici tu continuerais à me traiter comme de la merde et à pas m'adresser la parole.Je ne sais pas vraiment pourquoi j'ai dit ça. Je crois que je me sentais comme Peeta Mellark peignant Rue couverte de fleurs. Je voulais qu'il se sente coupable. Coupable d'être un enfoiré. Coupable de m'avoir fait mal au cœur. Coupable de m'avoir fait tombé amoureux. Coupable de m'avoir rendu incapable de savoir si je préférais lui balancer une droite pour qu'il tombe dans le fleuve ou le supplier de me prendre derrière la porte, tout de suite. Coupable de m'avoir rendu con alors qu'il n'en vaut même pas la peine.Coupable. Coupable. Coupable.Je le déteste. Je l'aime.Enfoiré. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Je ne sais pas bien.... Ce que je suis sensé penser. Je me sens bizarre. Mal. J'ai le cœur qui bat vite, je crois que je suis juste... En fait je crois que je suis juste super excité. Et c'est drôle parce qu'après ce long effort pour rester impassible, quand je suis retourné dans mon immeuble, je trépignais complètement, et maintenant je me sens mal tellement c'est fort.Je vais tout écrire parce que j'ai l'impression que je commence déjà à oublier des trucs et pourtant ça a pas de sens parce que ça pas duré longtemps du tout mais c'était tellement.... invraisemblable. Intense. Tout ce que je ressentais qui se bousculait.Je ne sais pas bien pourquoi mais depuis quelques jours, avant d'aller me coucher, je descends, je m'assois sur la berge du fleuve et je fume une clope. Sachant qu'avant d'aller me coucher, ça correspond à 6h30 du matin, au bas mot, quand le soleil se lève tout à foit. Ça fait peut être une semaine que je fais ça. Et je regarde le fleuve et...La vérité c'est que ça ne va pas très bien ces temps-ci. Quand c'était encore les cours, je voyais des gens et j'avais quelque chose à faire de mes journées. Mais là... Je ne fais plus rien du tout. J'ai passé les six derniers jours à jouer du violon, à traîner sur des sites de culs et à regarder le plafond en fumant des cigarettes. Alors c'est vrai que ça n'allait pas très bien, ce matin sur le fleuve. Et j'avais ces idées débiles et puis j'ai tourné la tête et Leo était là. Et je crois qu'il était aussi surpris que moi. Je crois qu'il ne m'avait pas vu avant que je tourne la tête vers lui.On s'est regardé, et le truc c'est que... Je n'avais pas envie. Parce que j'aurais tellement voulu, je suis tellement amoureux de lui, j'aurais tellement voulu lui demander : « Leo, prends moi dans tes bras, dis-moi que toi tu ne veux pas que je me jette dans le fleuve, dis-moi que ça a un sens pour toi, que j'existe. Dis-moi tout ça parce que j'ai envie de mourir ». Mais il me détestait et j'avais peur parce qu'il s'il me disait quoi que ce soit de méchant je crois que je me serais jeté directement dans l'eau sous ses yeux en espérant qu'il se haïrait toute sa vie. Mais il n'a rien dit. Il a hésité un long moment et puis il s'est assis tout doucement à côté de moi, les jambes tournées vers la route, à l'envers de moi. Il ne me regardait pas, mais sa présence... Je n'arrivais pas à savoir. C'était un cadeau et j'avais peur qu'il se retourne contre moi.Et puis il a demandé tout doucement : « Qu'est-ce que tu écoutes ? ». J'avais mes écouteurs sur les oreilles, je les avais oubliés. Je ne les avais pas quittés de la journée. J'écoutais le même son depuis une dizaine d'heures. L'orage et la pluie. Une musique d'ambiance. Je n'ai pas su quoi dire. Alors je lui ai tendu un écouteur. Il l'a mis puis il a fermé les yeux. Assis sur la rive du fleuve, à 6h30 du matin, on a écouté le bruit d'orage et de pluie qui résonnait plus fort dans mon cœur que dans mes oreilles. Et puisqu'il avait fermé les yeux, ça voulait dire que j'avais le droit de le regarder.Je l'ai regardé de toutes mes forces. Son torse penché en arrière, un peu, appuyé sur ses bras tendus, la tête en arrière aussi, les cheveux qui tombaient légèrement sur son visage. En short de course, avec ses jambes nues que je n'avais jamais vues, tous les deux le même air impassible. Même si moi j'avais à chaque seconde un peu plus furieusement envie de lui. Et quand je dis ça je crois pas que les gens pourraient comprendre, que cette envie dont je parle tout le temps c’est pas vraiment de faire l’amour, c’est de ce truc qu’il y a après, c’est qu’on on retombe et qu’on se regarde, ce truc je le connais à peine mais je le désire de toutes mes forces, c’est être aimé.Je lui ai arraché l'écouteur et j'ai repassé mes jambes du bon côté avant de craquer. Je partais sans le regarder, sa voix douce a murmuré : « A demain ».Alors voilà. J'ai toujours un peu envie de me jeter dans le fleuve, donc demain même heure, j'y retourne. Et s’il ne vient pas, et bien je me jette. Voilà tout. Et s’il pouvait m'aimer ? ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Il était là.Ce matin, il était là. Il est venu. J'ai tellement essayé de m'en foutre. De toute mes forces, j'ai essayé de m'en foutre, vraiment. De me dire que ça n'en valait pas la peine. J'ai même failli ne pas y aller. Après tout je n’avais pas BESOIN de descendre pour fumer. J'avais tellement envie qu'il soit là et ça allait me faire tellement mal s'il n'y était pas. Et il y était.Je suis descendu, la lumière de l'aube était belle. Je me suis assis sur le rebord, les jambes vers l'eau avec ma cigarette, le cliquetis du métal quand je l'allume, la douceur de l'air, la couleur du ciel. Et je l'ai regardé sur l'autre rive, petite silhouette grise, courir, traverser le pont et quand il a été sur ma berge à moi, j'ai regardé ailleurs, je ne voulais pas qu'il voit que je le regardais. Il était venu et ça n'arrangeait pas mes affaires, parce que j'arrivais encore moins à savoir si je l'aimais ou si je le détestais. Il s'est arrêté à côté de moi, il ne souriait pas. Il n'a pas parlé, il s'est assis les mains de chaque côté de ses hanches comme les siennes. Un espace entre les deux, parce qu'il n'aime pas qu'on le touche. - Salut.- Salut.Je ne sais même pas pourquoi on parle. Peut-être pour cacher qu'on a peur.- Tu écoutes quoi, cette fois ?Je me suis insulté mentalement parce que j'avais oublié, alors que ça aurait dû être primordial la musique que j'écoutais puisqu'il allait me poser la question, mais j'avais oublié et je l'ai détesté de poser cette question vu que j'écoutais très exactement la même chose que la veille.Je n'ai rien répondu. J'ai regardé mes pieds, j'ai regardé l'eau et je crois que je me suis penché. Sa main est apparue devant mes yeux et elle tenait un écouteur.- Je peux te faire écouter quelque chose ?Quand j'ai pris l'écouteur ses doigts sont restés sur les miens. Pas longtemps, une seconde peut être. Mais c'était bien. Mon bras a frôlé le sien quand je l'ai reposé mais il n'a pas bougé. Alors pendant les trois minutes quelque chose de la musique que je n'écoutais pas, nos bras se touchaient. Peut-être que les poils hérissés du mien allaient faire des nœuds avec ceux du sien. Ou peut-être pas. Et... c'est tout. La musique était douce, un autre truc de piano, comme celui qu'il m'avait fait écouter près de neuf mois auparavant. Le même artiste. Brian Crain, là. Mais c'est tout. Il était assis, j'étais assis, nos bras se frôlaient, on écoutait la même musique et j'étais tellement heureux.Je ne suis pas heureux mais je suis content. Je lui en veux aussi, parce qu'il a fallu que je me désintéresse de lui pour qu'il s'intéresse à moi, c'est typique et c'est chiant. Mais je n'arrive pas à me dire que ça ne peut mener nul part, je n’arrive pas à me dire que ce mec n'est qu'un con et tout ça. Il est différent, je le sais. Je le sens.Alors quand la musique a été fini, on est restés quelques instants encore à regarder la lumière sur le fleuve. J'aurais tout donné pour prendre sa main, pour pouvoir l'embrasser, parce que l'air été doux, que la musique était belle, que j'étais amoureux.Mais c'est lui qui est parti en premier. Qui a dit :- A demain.Est ce qu'il va revenir demain ? Et s'il ne revient pas demain ? Il est 7h30. Maintenant je vais dormir. Je crois que je vais rêver de ses mains frôlant les miennes sur la pierre. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Il est venu. Il est encore venu. Et c'est fou à quelle vitesse on est pris dans cette espèce de routine. Mais c'est dur aussi parce que ça y est, ça ne fait que trois fois mais c'est bon, je suis incapable de m'en foutre maintenant. Ça veut dire que s'il cesse de venir je vais avoir mal. Je vais avoir putain de mal. Et il y a quelque chose de réellement injuste dans la nature humaine, parce qu'on en veut toujours plus et le simple fait qu'il croise mon regard me mettait au comble du ravissement il y a quelques mois mais maintenant, ça ne me fait plus ... Grand-chose. Enfin si, je veux dire, n'allez pas croire que je me lasse, ce n'est pas ça. C'est qu'il m'en faut plus. Il m'en faut toujours plus. Parce que ce mec est ma drogue, plus forte que toutes celles que je fume que je croque ou que je m'injecte. Et ce matin... Quand son petit doigt est passé par-dessus le mien, c'était plus fort que baiser contre le mur d'une boite de nuit.Sans charre.De toute façon, baiser-contre-le-mur-d'une-boite-de-nuit, ça ne fait pas grand chose. Rien de vrai. Seulement des courants dans le corps, quand l'esprit est dilué.J'avais l'impression que tous les poils de mon bras étaient pointés raides vers sa peau et essayait de l'attirer. Nos bras faisaient plus que se frôler cette fois, ils se touchaient, ils se touchaient pour de vrai, ils s'appuyaient, et le coté de nos mains aussi et c'était bon. On regardait la lumière sur le fleuve, on ne parlait pas mais j'avais le cœur qui battait à cent à l'heure et je crois que lui aussi, je n’entendais même pas la musique qu'il avait choisi, j'entendais le sang battre très fort dans mes oreilles. Je crois que toutes mes émotions, pensées et sensations étaient contenues dans ma peau qui touchait la sienne. C'était comme une brûlure mais une bonne. Et très doucement, avec un genre de lenteur du type un millimètre par seconde, j'ai descendu la tête vers son épaule.Quand je l'ai frôlé, il s'est dégagé un peu et j'ai cru qu'il allait partir et je crois que j'ai eu peur, alors j'ai glissé mon doigt sous le sien, pour le retenir. Mais sous. Parce que c'était moins... vif que de le mettre dessus. Dieu est dans les détails.Il a laissé son petit doigt. Il a serré le mien. Et je jure qu'une partie de moi est morte d'orgasme insensé sur le coup.Sans charre. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Et ça recommence. Je descends. Je m'assois. Il me rejoint. Il me tend un écouteur. On écoute de la musique, son bras collé contre le mien. Sa chaleur. Les poils sur son bras et sur le mien. Nos doigts enlacés sur la pierre. Rapprochements pas à pas. Et c'est long, et c'est bon, et romantique et...Et c'est frustrant et étrange. Non mais sérieusement, ce mec sort d’où ? Je veux dire, il est adorable et tout et je suis méchamment amoureux, je ne dis pas, mais... Enfin je ne sais pas, il a quand même baisé la moitié de la classe, il est quoi, timide ? C'est mignon hein... Mais je commence à avoir légèrement envie de passer à la vitesse supérieure si je puis me permettre. Parce que je mentirais si je disais que quand je pense à lui, c'est des promenades mains dans la main que j'ai en tête.Le pire dans l'affaire, c'est qu'hier je m'étais dit qu'il valait mieux que je me débarrasse de cette frustration, que ça serait plus simple, parce que ça devient dur, là, d'être à côté de lui sur la berge sans... Sans rien. Je ne demande pas grand-chose, mais lui tenir à moitié la main c'est dur quoi... Et puis après je me dis que je suis qu'un con, j'entends vingt mille discours féministes sur le consentement et comme quoi les besoins masculins blabla c'est de la connerie, et c'est vrai mais c'est pas masculin mes besoins c'est juste les miens c'est juste ce truc en moi qui courre partout pour pas mourir.Du coup hier soir je suis allé ramasser un mec, je l'ai même ramené chez moi, c'est dire. Mais rien à faire. Quand je suis descendu tout à l'heure voir Leo... J'étais toujours aussi frustré. Parce que je n’ai pas juste envie de m'envoyer en l'air, c'est ça le truc. C'est de lui dont j'ai envie. De quelque chose d'en plus de son corps et de son coeur, de quelque chose dans le ventre que je ne sais pas définir.Et merde. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Je. Vais. Craquer. Je n’en peux vraiment plus. Son air timide me rend cinglé. J'avais toute sa main dans la mienne, je caressais sa peau et je me suis dit que... Voilà, on pouvait s'embrasser là. Je veux dire, ça fait cinq jours qu'on regarde le soleil se lever sur le fleuve, en se tenant la main et en écoutant de la musique. C'est bon quoi. On a fait assez de préliminaires là, on peut s'embrasser. Y a un lever de soleil, c'est romantique tout ce qu'il faut... Mais quand j'ai commencé à genre... me pencher... il a fui.Classe. Très sincèrement il me fatigue presque. En même temps je trouve ça super adorable, genre Leo le mec trop renfermé de la vie, cœur pur dans sa tour d'argent, mais c'est un tout petit peu fatiguant. Qu'est-ce que ça va être quand je vais vouloir coucher avec ? Ça va prendre des mois... Faut que j'accélère tout ça sinon je vais mourir de vieillesse avant de l'avoir entendu me dire je t'aime.Demain je l'embrasse. Voilà. Rien à foutre. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- ...D'accord je suis vraiment con. J'ai paniqué. C'était comme toujours, on se tenait la main, les doigts emmêlés et ça c'était bien, et quand je tournais la tête je voyais son visage, il rougissait un peu et c'était ... C'était beau. Quand la chanson a été finie, il a eu ce petit mouvement de recul qu'il a toujours mais je tenais sa main. Je tenais sa main et il n’était pas question que je la lâche. Après tout ce moment à me la jouer, à dire que j'avais envie et tout... Là, devant le fait accompli... J'étais mort de peur.C'est beau, un premier baiser. Ça doit être beau. Je trouve en tout cas. Et c'est vrai que le cadre était idéal. La peur qui me broyait les cotes était merveilleuse. Alors j'ai tourné la tête vers lui. Je n'étais pas sûr de moi en fait. Ça dépendrait de lui. S'il me lançait LE regard, ça voudrait dire oui. Mais il regardait droit devant lui. Ses joues avaient une belle couleur de fruit mûr et il fixait l'autre côté de la berge sans ciller. Mort de peur.J'ai murmuré son prénom. Il a baissé les yeux tout doucement, vers l'eau, mais il ne m'a pas regardé. Ça me brûlait à l'intérieur du corps, ça me brûlait de faire quelque chose, n'importe quoi. Alors je me suis penché vers lui, j'ai fermé fort les yeux... Et je l'ai embrassé sur la joue. Juste une seconde. Puis j'ai repassé mes jambes du bon côté et j'ai fuis.Je viens de me rendre compte. Pour la première fois, aucun de nous d'eux n'a dit « à demain » en partant. Merde. J'ai tout fait foirer. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Sasha : Tu ne dors toujours pas.Leo : Comment tu le sais ?Sasha : Parce que tu n'as pas fermé tes volets et que la lumière est allumée.Leo : Je ne sais pas si j'ai vraiment envie de te demander comment tu le sais.Sasha est en train d'écrire.Sasha est en train d'écrire.Sasha : Est-ce que tu me trouves flippant ?Leo : Non, je ne te trouve pas flippant.Sasha : Alors tu viendras, tout à l'heure ?Leo est en train d'écrire.Leo : Oui, je viendrais.Sasha : Tu m'en veux pour ce matin ?Leo : Est-ce que tu as essayé de m'embrasser et tu t'es ravisé ?Sasha est en train d'écrire.Sasha est en train d'écrire.Sasha est en train d'écrire.Sasha est en train d'écrire.Sasha : Non.Leo : Alors non. Est-ce que tu me vois ? Tu vois juste qu'il y a de la lumière ou est-ce que tu me vois ?Sasha : Non Leo je ne te regarde pas avec mes jumelles, j'ai juste vu qu'il y avait de la lumière.Leo : C'est allumé chez toi ?Sasha : Non, mais je peux allumer un instant pour que tu vois ou c'est. Tu veux ?Leo : Oui s'il te plait.Sasha : Tu as vu ?Leo : Est-ce que c'est la lumière de ta chambre que tu as allumée ?Sasha : Oui.Leo : J'ai envie de venir dans ta chambre.Leo est en train d'écrire.Leo : Je voulais dire pour voir la vue.Sasha : Je sais Leo. Ne panique pas.Leo : Je ne panique pas.Sasha : Est-ce que tu as envie que je te fasse paniquer ?Leo : Est-ce que tu penses que j'ai envie que tu me fasses paniquer ?Sasha : Non.Leo est en train d'écrire.Leo est en train d'écrire. Leo : C'est pour fumer que tu sors tous les matins ?Sasha : Oui.Sasha est en train d'écrire.Leo : Je vais me rendormir Sasha. A tout à l'heure.Sasha : A tout à l'heure Leo. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- ON SE REVOIT CE SOIR ON SE REVOIT CE SOIR BORDEL DE Aaaaahhhh je vais mourir je suis pire que la fille de mon ancienne belle-mère quand elle a rencontré le chauve de The Wanted. Quand il me l'a proposé, j'ai pris l'air le plus "ouais ché pas pourquoi pas bon okaaayyy " que j'avais en stock mais à l'intérieur je faisais juste " tzteyzrtzytryztrzytKRKRKRKRKRKAAAAAHOUIIIII" C'est juste trop bien quoi. C'est juste parfait. C'est juste... aaaaaaah........Tout était différent aujourd'hui. Je ne sais pas ce qui est arrivé entre notre discussion sur gtalk et le moment où l’on s'est vu, ou si c'est la discussion elle-même, mais toujours est-il que quand il est arrivé, il ne s'est pas assis, il m'a demandé si je ne voulais pas aller me balader. Il était encore tôt, la lumière était si belle, on a marché cote à cote le long du fleuve et j'avais envie de lui prendre la main. Pour la première fois on a parlé, on a vraiment parlé.C'était miraculeux. D'autant qu’on n’a pas parlé de trucs à la con genre le lycée blablabla et des conneries de ce genre, non. On a discuté de trucs tellement... Je ne sais pas. Au début c'était une discussion sur l'écologie et puis on a dérivé sur la vie en communauté et sur comment on voyait le monde. Et c'était tellement bien et c'est là que je me suis rendu compte qu'il avait des rêves et même, juste des idées dont je n'avais pas connaissances et que je n'aurais pas soupçonnées chez lui. C'est là que je me suis rendu compte que pendant un certain temps j'avais probablement été amoureux d'une espèce de coquille mais que je commençais à entrer en lui, à entrer dans ses pensées. Que je le découvrais et que j'aimais ce que je découvrais.On a gravi la colline par les escaliers et ça grimpait sec. On est allé au promontoire, là où on voit toute la ville, et on s'est assis avec les jambes dans le vide, comme au-dessus de l'eau, mais là c'était un vrai vide sous nous, pas très haut, deux mètres peut être et après les escaliers. On a regardé le soleil se lever tout à fait sur la ville, il avait posé sa main sur la pierre alors j'ai posé ma main sur sa main. J'ai replié mes doigts contre sa paume et il a repliés les siens. On se tenait la main. Lui et moi, au-dessus du monde, dans la lumière du matin. Main dans la main.J'aurais pu l'embrasser et peut être qu'il s'attendait à ce que je le fasse, mais je n'ai même pas essayé. L'instant était trop beau pour être gâché. Je crois que j'aimais l'idée que notre premier baiser soit un peu brouillon et non pas parfait et attendu. Au bout d'un long moment, il a lâché ma main. - J'ai vraiment besoin de sommeil Sasha. Je ne me suis pas encore couché.J'ai hoché la tête parce que je crois que je ne pouvais plus parler. Je me suis levé et on est redescendu. Au croisement ou l’on se séparait, il m'a fait un signe pour dire qu'il s'en allait. Et je ne sais pas ce que... J'ai attrapé sa main. Je ne voulais pas qu'il parte. J'avais envie de lui et j'avais envie de préparer le petit déjeuner pour lui et de lui dire je t'aime et j'avais trop d'envies qui irradiaient autour de moi. Il a regardé nos mains. Il m'a dit : - Mes parents ne sont pas là. Tu veux venir dormir chez moi, ce soir ? Il l'avait dit avec un ton tellement timide que je ne me suis pas fait d'illusions. Il n'y avait rien de sexuel là-dedans. La peur s'est tellement mélangé au bonheur à ce moment-là que c'est pour ça que je n'ai pas sauté au plafond. J'ai hoché la tête et j'ai dit : - Oui.Tellement doucement qu'il a dû à peine m'entendre. J'ai tenu sa main sans rien dire encore quelques instants. Et puis on est parti chacun de notre côté. Je ne sais pas très bien pourquoi, mais je suis tellement heureux que j'ai envie de pleurer. Plus tard. Je dois être chez lui dans 20 min et je ne suis vraiment pas prêt. On s'est envoyé d'autres messages sur gtalk parce qu'il devait manger chez les parents de sa meilleure amie là, Juliette, et du coup il voulait savoir si ça m'allait de passer à 22h. Ça m'allait même super bien. Ça m'a laissé plus de temps pour choisir mes fringues et faire mon sac. Enfin ce genre de trucs. J'ai l'impression de me préparer pour aller dormir chez un ami mais en mode huit ans et demi. C'est à dire que je suis allé récupérer un de mes pyjamas dans le placard, et aussi une peluche et ma brosse à dents. Pouf, dans le sac. Et puis mon violon ? Non, pas mon violon. Mon journal par contre.Le truc qui m'agace c'est que la nuit dernière je n'ai pas dormi. Genre, du tout. Parce que j'étais tout seul et je sais plus trop comment on fait pour dormir seul. Je ramène un mec, d'habitude. Et au pire, même s’il ne dort pas avec moi, le fait d'avoir un orgasme, bah... Ça endort quoi. Donc ça va. Mais du coup ça fait presque quarante heures que je n’ai pas dormi et c'est... Pas chouette ça. Mais ça va, j'ai un peu l'habitude. Du coup je suis allé fouiller dans mon placard et j'ai trouvé des cachets de Subutex au fond.Ça devrait suffire.Bon bref. Et du coup là je finis de m'habiller. J'hésite encore dans les fringues. Je vais mettre ma chemise préférée. Il porte presque que des chemises, lui. Et puis de toute façon je m'habille toujours pareil, je ne sais pas pourquoi j'en fait une histoire. D'ailleurs c'est drôle, je me suis rendu compte que Leo et moi, on s'habille quasiment de manière identique. Et qu'en même temps, on en pas du tout le même style. On porte tous les deux des slims, des chemises à manches longues et des converses, comme un uniforme. Sauf que chez lui, mis à part les slims qui moulent ses jambes, il fait très garçon de bonne famille. Ses chemises sont toutes blanches, gris clair ou bleu clair, elles sont à la bonne taille et boutonnés. Ses jeans ne sont pas déchirés, il porte des pulls à col en V quand il fait froid, il fait ses lacets. Alors que mes jeans sont tous skinny, noirs et déchirés, mes converses sont défoncés, mes chemises ouvertes et cintrées, en fait mon look c'est comme si le sien avait pris un tournant punk, genre.Bref... J'y vais. Plus tard. Je suis dans sa salle de bains. Quand je suis arrivé, il m'a amené directement jusqu'à sa chambre. Ce n’était pas comme j'aurais imaginé. Il est en jogging ou enfin en pantalon de pyjama quoi. Et en tee-shirt. Ses cheveux sont en bordel et il a l'air...grognon. Je crois qu'il est mal à l'aise. Du coup il ne parle pas trop. On est restés assis sur son lit, il avait mis de la musique sur son ordi et j'étais assis là et je ne savais pas quoi dire, et puis brusquement j'ai dit que j'allais me mettre en pyjama. Parce que je n’étais vraiment pas à l'aise. Je ne sais pas s'il m'intimide ou si... Je ne sais pas ce que je ressens. Mais y a un sacré malaise. J'ai avancé la main pour lui caresser le dos à un moment, parce que j'avais très envie de le toucher, mais il s'est dégagé avant même que je ne l'effleure. C'est là que je suis allé m'enfermer dans sa salle de bains. Je me mets en pyjama, voilà.J'espère qu'il va se détendre. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Veste appartenant à l'origine à Sasha mais portée plus tard par Leo, comme en atteste plusieurs photos postérieure à la catastrophe.De marque AllSaints, taille S, la veste est en jean noir, élimée aux manches et à effet déchiré aux coudes. Le dos, décoré par la main par une personne inconnue, porte la mention REVEN GEentourée de roses et d'épines. " Sasha " est également brodé sur la poche de poitrine. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Je viens de me réveiller dans son lit et il n'est pas là. Il doit être huit heures du matin. Je ne sais pas très bien où il est et ça m'inquiète un peu.Je suis de retour chez moi. Tout va bien. Quand je me suis réveillé tout à l'heure, il était endormi dans sa bibliothèque, roulé en boule sur l'espèce de petit canapé, un bras replié au-dessus de la tête pour se protéger de la lumière. Il s'est réveillé quand je suis arrivé. Je lui ai demandé pourquoi il n'avait pas dormi avec moi et il m'a dit qu'il m'avait déjà expliqué ça. Alors je me suis penché et je l'ai embrassé sur la joue. Il a tourné la tête pour m'embrasser un peu aussi, et je suis parti. C'est drôle, je suis plutôt du genre insistant normalement, mais j'ai senti qu'il préférait être tranquille, là.Quand je suis revenu de la salle de bains, hier, il m'a regardé, et puis d'un seul coup il a rigolé.- C'est... mignon.Il riait de mon pyjama. Et ce n'était pas gentil mais au moins ça l'a déridé. Alors on s'est mis dans le lit, côte à côte, nos bras se frôlant, et il a voulu regarder les scènes coupées de Titanic – Oui. Leo adore Titanic, c'est son film préféré au monde, il m'en a parlé très sérieusement la dernière fois alors que moi, j'ai du le voir deux fois et je m'en rappelle à peine. Mais bon.Je me suis blotti contre lui, sur le côté et au début il était un peu mal à l'aise, mais rapidement je me suis retrouvé dans un espèce de demi-sommeil et ça a eu l'air de le détendre. Comme si j'étais moins dangereux comme ça. Du coup, il a passé son bras autour de mes épaules et je me suis retrouvé avec la tête posée sur son torse. C'était tellement bien, tellement chaud et doux d'être contre lui. On avait passé quinze barrières d'un coup. Rien que d'y repenser... Je me sens flotter. Je suis tellement heureux....Bref... J'ai commencé à m'endormir comme ça, contre lui, j'en avais rêvé. D'être contre lui. De sentir son bras autour de moi. J'entendais son cœur battre, c'était tellement... Bien. Et puis je l'ai senti se pencher un petit peu et il a fait quelque chose que je n'avais pas prévu. Il a embrassé mon front. Avec une telle douceur et une telle retenue que j'ai senti mes yeux se remplirent de larmes. Je les aie fermés très fort, j'ai agrippé son tee-shirt et il m'a serré un petit peu plus. Il m'a embrassé une seconde fois. Je n'arrive pas bien à savoir, parce que j'étais en train de m'endormir, on s'était glissés sous la couette entre temps, les lumières étaient éteintes et il n'y avait que le son très bas de l'ordinateur, mais je crois qu'il m'a embrassé de très nombreuses fois. Sur le front. Et dans les cheveux. J'ai l'impression qu'il la fait encore et encore et encore. C'est vrai qu'à un moment, je lui ai dit que j'avais envie qu'il coupe son ordinateur et qu'il dorme avec moi, mais il m'a répondu qu'il ne savait pas dormir avec quelqu'un. Qu'il ne dormirait pas si j'étais là. J'aurais bien répliqué, mais il a embrassé mon front et je me suis laissé bercer par les battements de son cœur et ses baisers sur mon crâne. C'est ça qu'il m'a dit tout à l'heure. Qu'il m'avait expliqué.Tout l'amour que je ressentais pour lui s'est nimbé d'une nouvelle chaleur. J'ai fini par sombrer et j'ai dormi comme un bébé. Je ne sais pas quand je le revois, mais maintenant je le sais : Ça ne va pas s'arrêter tout de suite. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Sasha : On ne s'est pas vu ce matin.Leo : Bien sûr que si.Sasha : Pas au bord du fleuve.Leo : Tu veux qu'on s’y retrouve demain matin ?Sasha : Oui.Leo : J'allais te proposer qu'on se voie ce soir. Mais comme tu as envie.Sasha est en train d'écrireSasha est en train d'écrireSasha : 22h chez moi ?Leo : Ça marche. A tout à l’heure.Sasha : A tout à l’heure. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Il vient de partir. Non, attends, rectification. Il vient de FUIR. Je n'ai même pas... Je ne sais pas, je n'ai même pas envie d'écrire. Je n'ai même pas envie de prendre mon violon et je n'ai même pas envie de sauter dans le fleuve. J'ai juste... C'est juste que si la radio se mettait à jouer Never Say Never de The Fray, avec le refrain qui fait " Don't Let Me Go ", je pense que je pourrais chialer en paix. J'ai tout foiré ou peut être que c'est lui, mais je n’arrive pas à m'en vouloir et à lui non plus. Je me sens juste complètement vide. Trop bizarre. C'est trop con. Voilà, une demi-heure après cette putain de culpabilité me tombe dessus d'un seul coup, en force, pluie torrentielle sur mon crane. Il est venu. Il a visité mon appart en regardant partout avec l'air d'un gamin parce que c'est grand et blanc et beau. On s'est mis sur mon immense lit, face à la télé, moi assis en tailleur et lui couché sur le ventre, la tête dans les mains, pour regarder un film. Et voilà, c’était bon là, non ? On y était. Le noir, le film, le lit, on n’allait pas forcement carrément coucher ensemble d'office mais voilà quoi. Ça allait bien... Se décoincer, je ne sais pas. Ouais bah non. Au contraire. Ça s'est pire que coincé là, pour le coup.Au début il m'a laissé faire. Genre, j'étais assis à côté de lui et je ne sais pas, je me disais qu'il avait juste besoin de se détendre et que ça roulerait. Alors j'ai avancé la main et je lui ai caressé le dos sur sa chemise. Il n’a pas trop bougé, je me suis dit qu'il était juste timide. Et puis j'ai glissé la main sur sa peau et il s'est redressé. Et maintenant je comprends qu’il ne voulait pas que je le touche. Mais sur le coup, j'ai juste...J'ai pensé qu'il voulait... Je ne sais pas comment dire ça. M'amener contre lui. Passer à l'étape supérieure. Qu'il allait m'embrasser. Du coup je lui ai sauté dessus. Et il a ... Moyen apprécié. Du coup il est parti et j'ai l'impression d'être trop con. Et ça me soule. Et Il n’y a pas que ça qui me soule. Tout me soule et me fatigue et m'agace dans cette histoire. Peut-être que c'était trop beau, trop magique pour un baiser comme ça, sur un lit. Baiser qui serait forcément suivi d'une séance de pelotage.Je crois qu'il veut mieux que ça. Parce qu'il vaut mieux que ça.Je lui ai envoyé un sms « Est ce que tu me détestes ? » et il a mis du temps mais il a fini par me répondre « Mais non. ». Et c'est tout. J'ai la tête à l'envers. Je lui ai demandé si on se voyait sur le fleuve tout à l'heure mais il n'a pas répondu.Pourquoi ce n'est pas normal ? Une bête histoire banale avec de l'amour, de la tendresse et pas trop de rebondissements. Je ne veux pas descendre sur le fleuve tout à l'heure. Parce qu’il n’y sera pas et je ne veux pas l'attendre en vain. Donc...Je vais aller me coucher. Ça fait une heure que je tourne dans mon lit. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Poids : 61,350 Kg.Repas depuis la dernière entrée : Quatre chewing-gum à la fraise (toujours en train de les mâcher), un litre de jus de citron, un cordon-bleu.Dernière pensée stupide : Je suis stupide.Je suis stupide. Je suis vraiment stupide. Je suis le plus stupide de tous les stupides de la terre entière. Sasha parle toujours de se jeter dans le fleuve quand il se sent débile et je le comprends parce que quand je suis descendu de chez lui en trombe, hier soir, j'ai failli. J'ai regardé la Saône en traversant le pont, j'ai regardé ses vagues brunes et mes doigts ont courus le long de la barrière comme s'ils hésitaient. Mais je ne suis pas lui. Je ne fais pas ce genre de chose. Et cette phrase s'applique à quasiment tout ce qu'il fait.On allait s'embrasser. Et je jure sur mon lapin que s'il n'y avait pas eu un préservatif usagé posé par terre dans mon champ de vision, je l'aurais embrassé. Vraiment, je l'aurais fait. J'étais prêt. Mais ça, ça m'a bloqué comme rien ne m'avait jamais bloqué de ma vie. Parce que ce préservatif sale, là, ce n'était pas juste ça, c'était un ça immense, le genre à vous tomber sur la tête comme une bassine d'eau entière et vous noyer un coup au passage. Sa chambre de prince charmant, le lit blanc, sa main sur mon dos... Ce n'était plus un rêve, ce n'était plus rien de beau. C'était moche, c'était la réalité la plus laide possible. C'était tous les mecs qui s'étaient succédés avant moi dans son lit et alors que j'étais encore en plein milieu de cette pensée... Lui, il m'a sauté dessus. Alors je suis parti.Quand je suis arrivé chez moi, quatre minutes plus tard, de l'autre côté du fleuve, je me suis rendu compte que je pleurais. Parce que j'étais trop nul. De ma fenêtre j'ai regardé la sienne, là-bas, de l'autre côté du fleuve. La lumière était éteinte. Je voulais y retourner mais c'était trop tard. J'avais été trop impulsif, j'avais tout gâché. J'étais dans mon lit, j'étais seul et j'étais vraiment nul. J'ai erré de ma chambre à la bibliothèque comme une âme en peine. J'ai bu la moitié d'une bouteille de jus de citron et j'ai mangé un cordon-bleu encore froid, directement sorti de son emballage en cellophane. Je l'ai regretté avant d'avoir commencé à le mâcher. J'ai écouté Adam Lambert chanter en dansant et sautant devant le grand miroir de ma chambre. J‘ai dit à Sasha que je ne le détestais pas par sms parce qu’il m’a posé la question. Ensuite je suis tombé sur mon lit et j'ai dormi comme une masse. Je viens de me lever. Je vais devoir y aller. Elios et ses parents arrivent dans deux heures et demie pour m'emmener en week-end. Il faut que je range. A plus tard. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- République Française ; Passeport.Type : PCode de Pays : FRAPasseport N° : T81N12015SNom : ClarencePrénoms : Leo André MichelNationalité : FrançaiseTaille : 1m77Couleur des yeux : Gris.Date de naissance : 01 11 1998Lieu de Naissance : AvallonDate de délivrance : 01 09 2012Domicile : 25 quai St-Vincent, 69001 Lyon.Autorité : Préfecture de Rhone LYONDate d'expiration : 31 08 2022 ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Poids : Je ne sais pas, je suis en voiture.Repas depuis la dernière entrée : Rien.Dernière pensée avant de commencer à écrire : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHJe viens de faire tomber mon stylo par terre. Elios me l'a rendu en me regardant bizarrement parce que je viens de crier. Il me demande si ça va. Je me cache derrière mon journal pour ne pas répondre. Il me dit que je vais être malade si j'écris en voiture. Je m'en fiche. AAAAAAAAAAAHHH. Il me demande pourquoi j'écris en majuscules ELIOS ARRÊTE DE LIRE PAR DESSUS MON ÉPAULE J'AIME PAS CA.J'ai embrassé Sasha. Et pas qu'un peu.On a sonné et je croyais que c'était Elios et qu'il était en avance et je n'aime pas ça parce que du coup j'étais encore en pyjama. Alors je suis allé ouvrir et ce n'était pas Elios. C'était Sasha. Avec ses jambes toutes minces et encore plus minces avec son slim. Et ses cheveux tout blonds tout raides et il m'a dit qu'il était désolé. Je le regardais sans comprendre parce que c'était censé être Elios devant la porte mais ce n'était pas Elios et là, il a commencé à s'excuser. Et j'ai eu mal, dans les côtes. En regardant sa bouche qui bougeait parce qu'il parlait, j'ai eu mal dans les côtes et je me suis rappelé, cette personne qui m'avait dit d'attendre d'avoir tellement envie que ça me ferait mal. Alors je l'ai tiré à l'intérieur, j'ai refermé la porte. J'ai pris son visage dans mes mains et je l'ai embrassé.Ça a fait un drôle de bruit et je me suis rendu compte que je l'avais plaqué contre le mur au passage. Alors j'ai passé les mains contre ses hanches et il s'est hissé sur moi. Avec ses jambes enroulées autour de ma taille, son dos contre le mur. On était passé de se tenir la main pendant vingt secondes à s'embrasser très sensuellement contre un mur.Leo, bruleur d'étapes professionnel. Deal with it.Pardon, je suis un peu bête quand je suis heureux. Et on s'est embrassé un moment et je n'arrêtais pas d'avoir cette voix dans ma tête qui répétait " On s'embrasse, on s'embrasse, on s'embrasse HEY ON S'EMBRASSE LA NON ? " Et je l'ai reposé parce que d'un seul coup c’est devenu... Gênant. Pas de ma faute. Enfin si, techniquement, ma faute. Mais je veux dire, les lois de la physique font qu'avec la façon dont il était plaqué contre moi et bah... Et en même temps que je le reposais, ça sonnait à nouveau à la porte. Je commence à avoir mal au cœur. J'écrirais tout à l'heure.Voilà, on vient d'arriver dans la maison de campagne d'Elios. Je suis sensé me mettre en maillot de bain mais je n'ai pas envie de toute façon. Je continue à écrire mon journal. Donc j'embrassais Sasha. Et ça me faisait mal dans la cage thoracique tellement j'avais eu envie de l'embrasser. Quand ça a sonné à nouveau, on s'est regardé vraiment longtemps, jusqu'à que ça re-sonne, en fait.Il est plus petit que moi, un peu. Même franchement, une tête de moins, je n'y avais pas fait gaffe, avant.Je l'ai encore embrassé, tout doucement, juste une fois. Je lui ai dit que je revenais vendredi. Puis j'ai ouvert la porte à Elios. Sasha a lancé un très rapide " salut " à Elios tant qu'à moi puis il a quasiment couru pour s'en aller. C'était mignon.Je vais aller au bord de la piscine, même si je n'ai pas envie de me baigner du tout. A plus tard. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Leo : Hey.Sasha est en train d'écrireSasha est en train d'écrireeffaceSasha est en train d'écrireeffaceSasha : Hey.Leo : Tu vas bien ?Sasha est en train d'écrire.Sasha : Oui et toi ?Leo :Oui.Leo : Désolé, je ne sais pas quoi dire. Je voulais te parler pendant la journée, plusieurs fois j'ai eu envie de te parler et je me suis rendu compte que je n'avais pas ton numéro et puis que je n'avais rien à te dire j'avais juste envie de te parler et j'aurais pu t'envoyer un mail mais je me disais que je n'avais rien à te dire et que dans un mail ça se verrait encore plus. Que je n'avais rien à te dire. Ce n'est pas parce que je n'ai pas envie de te parler c'est parce que je ne sais pas quoi dire.Sasha : Imagine que je suis une fille.Leo : Hein ?Sasha : Si j'étais une fille et que tu m'avais embrassé tu saurais quoi dire non ?Leo : Non.Sasha : Tu dis quoi aux filles d'habitude ?Leo : Il n'y a pas de d'habitude.Sasha : Ah bon.Leo : Tu comptes me redire " pourtant tu t'es tapé toute la classe " ?Sasha : Non.Leo : D'accord.Sasha : D'accord.Leo : T'es détestable.Sasha est en train d'écrire.Sasha est en train d'écrire.Sasha est en train d'écrire.effaceSasha : Tu rentres quand à Lyon ?Leo : Vendredi soir.Sasha : Tu viens dormir chez moi ?Leo : Non.Sasha : On peut se voir ?Leo : Pour quoi faire ?Sasha : S'embrasser encore.Leo est en train d'écrireLeo est en train d'écrireLeo : Oui.Sasha : Désolé. Moi non plus je ne sais pas quoi dire.Leo : Qu'est-ce que tu as ressenti ?Sasha : Quand tu m'as embrassé ?Leo : Oui.Sasha est en train d'écrireeffaceSasha est en train d'écrireeffaceSasha est en train d'écrireSasha : Que j'étais fou de toice message a été suppriméSasha : Ça faisait mal au ventre tellement ça faisait du bien au cœur.Leo : ♥ce message a été suppriméLeo : J'ai ressenti la même chose.Leo : T'es niais.Leo : Je vais me coucher. On se voit vendredi. Dors bien.Sasha : Bonne nuit mon cœur.Leo : NON.Sasha : Désolé.Leo : Non mais vraiment. NON.Sasha : Ok.Leo : Désolé. Bonne nuit.Sasha : Bonne nuit. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Je ne pensais que j'avais tort à ce point-là sur Sasha. Je ne pensais pas que je le connaissais si mal. Je ne l'aimais pas, au début. Il était trop plein de couleurs, de bruits et il faisait tout pour qu'on le remarque et qu'on pense qu'il se foutait de tout. Alors qu'il était l'inverse de se foutre de tout. Et puis il me collait et ça me rendait dingue. Je me disais qu'il était comme les filles de ma classe, celles qui sont amoureuses de moi parce qu'elles pensent que je suis tellement mystérieux. Je ne suis pas mystérieux. Si je me tais, c'est parce que je n'ai rien d'intéressant à dire. Mais là, allongé dans son lit à écrire mon journal pendant qu'il dort, je me dis que je me suis complètement trompé sur lui. Je ne sais pas ce qu'il a à m'aimer, mais ses raisons ne sont peut-être pas si stupides que ça.Je suis allée directement chez lui en rentrant de chez Elios. Il était peut-être dix-huit heures. Il m'a ouvert avec les yeux bouffis de sommeil, en tee-shirt et caleçon et il avait l'air d'avoir douze ans maximum, surtout avec ses cheveux tout blond et ses jambes maigres. Il était en train de dormir. Il m'a parlé quelques minutes, pendant qu'on allait à sa chambre, et puis il s'est roulé en boule sur le lit et il s'est endormi. Sans même essayer de m'embrasser.Du coup je suis là dans son lit à écrire dans mon journal. Et c'est étrange comme situation , mais j'aime bien. A chaque fois qu'on se voit, il dort comme un bébé. Ça me détend. Parce que ça me fait un peu peur, d'être avec lui. Ça me faisait super peur en arrivant. Je ne savais pas comment il allait se comporter, s'il allait vouloir faire des trucs et moi... J'ai peur quand les gens me touchent. Je n'aime pas ça. Du coup... Enfin voilà.Mais là il dort. Il est venu se coller un petit peu plus proche de moi. Je suis allongé sur le ventre avec un bras passé autour de lui et il dort roulé en boule comme un... Un enfant. Je n'y comprends rien. Je l'ai vu se comporter de façon tellement différente. Je l'ai vu se déhancher de façon extrêmement sensuelle à des fêtes, je l'ai vu faire des blagues salaces et puis même, je l'ai vu avec l'air hautain pendant des jours entiers, en classe. Et là, il... Il est tellement adorable.Bon. Il dort. C'est mignon mais je m'ennuie un peu. Je vais le réveiller. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Poids : 62,1 kg.Nourriture depuis la dernière entrée : Beaucoup d'alcool et des macarons. Beaucoup de macarons. Beaucoup. D'alcool.Dernière pensée avant de commencer à écrire : J'ai mal au cœur.Je ne sais pas comment je me sens. Pas bien. Dans l'ensemble, vraiment pas bien parce qu'hier, on a bu. Beaucoup bu. Et que quand je bois je fais n'importe quoi. Parfois je crois que je préférerais tout oublier, comme au nouvel an. Mais en même temps non. Parce qu'après le nouvel an, je me sentais tellement mal. Je n'arrêtais pas de me demander si j'avais couché avec Sasha et je ne m'en rappelais pas et ça c'était vraiment nul. Du coup, je préfère quand même m'en souvenir.Je me suis réveillé en caleçon. Dans le lit de Sasha. Et lui il était nu. Et je me souvenais de tout et je me sentais vraiment mal parce que toutes les choses que je fais quand j'ai bu, le lendemain je m'en rappelle et je suis malheureux parce que j'ai honte. Quand Sasha s'est réveillé, hier soir, enfin quand je l'ai réveillé, il a tiré mon visage vers le sien et il m'a embrassé. Et je crois que c'était trop brusque pour moi, parce que je suis resté tout raide, même si je l'ai embrassé aussi. C'était drôle. Enfin non, pas drôle. Simplement étrange. C'était un peu comme être amoureux, parce que quand on aime on va beaucoup plus lentement. Quand je sortais avec Juliette, c'était comme ça. On a parlé un peu. On a mangé des macarons qu'il avait dans une grande boite en carton bleu-vert et on a bu. Je crois qu'on ne savait pas trop quoi faire d'autre. Et l'alcool, ça simplifie beaucoup de choses, quand même. Moi, ça me simplifie tous les contacts.On a bu. On a rigolé. On a bu, on s'est embrassé. Ensuite on était dans sa chambre qui est immense, et sur son ordinateur il a mis une chanson de Tove Lo qui fait complètement planer et en même temps qui fait danser alors on a dansé. On a dansé l'un contre l'autre, avec ses hanches contre les miennes et son visage penché en arrière dans mon cou, avec la musique en replay et tout l'alcool qui rendait la pièce bancale.C'est là que j'ai commencé à perdre mes fringues. Parce qu'il faisait chaud, parce que c'était drôle ou parce que j'étais bourré, je ne sais pas. On dansait, et on dansait en buvant et on s'embrassait et c'était comme toutes les autres soirées avant et celles d'après elles seront toujours comme ça, quand je bois ça fini toujours comme ça. Je crois qu'on s'embrassait un petit plus à ce moment-là, mais pas que, on bondissait dans sa chambre en caleçon avec des bouteilles dans les mains et je n'arrêtais pas de tomber et puis je suis tombé sur le lit et je n'ai pas eu envie de me relever. Il est venu contre moi et après, je ne sais plus. Là, j'ai commencé à m'endormir complètement.C'est pour ça que ce matin, quand je me suis réveillé, je l'ai vraiment mal vécu. D’être dans le lit avec lui et tout ça et qu'il soit nu en plus. Je déteste les lendemains de soirée. Je déteste avoir la gueule de bois et me sentir minable. Je deviens une personne cool et libérée de tout, quand je bois. Mais après, je déteste cette personne.Je n'ai pas pu lui demander ce qui s'était passé ou quoi que hier soir. De toute façon, à ce moment-là, je n'avais plus envie de lui parler. Alors je lui ai dit que mes parents rentraient aujourd'hui et qu'il fallait que je m'en aille. Et puis je suis parti, très vite.Je suis chez moi. J'ai la gueule de bois, mes parents veulent me parler de plein de trucs et je voudrais juste dormir. Fais chier. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Type : Fichiers jpegNombre : Vingt-deux.Titres : TzNp01, TzNp02,TzNp03,TzNp04, TzNp05, TzNp06, TzNp07, TzNp08, TzNp09, TzNp10, TzNp11, TzNp12, TzNp013, TzNp14, TzNp15, TzNp16, TzNp17, TzNp18, TzNp19, TzNp20, TzNp21, TzNp22.Inclut dans le dossier : Sasha PrivéDescription : Une série de photos flous, prises avec le smartphone de Sasha et datées du 25 juillet 2015. Elles ont été prises en rafale, sans aucun focus ni cadrage, et montrent toutes Leo, en train de se laisser tomber sur le lit de la chambre de Sasha, semblablement alcoolisé, en caleçon, un grand sourire sur le visage. Quelques photos suivantes montrent des gros plans également flou, plusieurs sur ses épaules et son dos, une bonne dizaine sur ses fesses. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Sasha : Je te dérange ?Leo : Non.Sasha : Tu fais quoi ?Leo : Rien.Sasha : Tu ne voudrais pas faire rien avec moi ?Leo : T'es collant.Sasha est en train d'écrire.Sasha est en train d'écrire.Leo : Excuse-moi.Sasha : Non, je sais que je suis collant. Je suis désolé.Leo : Tu n'es pas collant, tu es affectueux.Sasha : Si tu le dis.Sasha est en train d'écrire.Sasha : Je m'ennuie.Leo : Moi aussi.Sasha : Tu ne veux pas passer regarder un film ?Leo : Je ne sais pas.Leo est en train d'écrire. Leo : Il faudrait qu'on parle.Sasha : En face c'est mieux que sur Gtalk, non ?Leo : Oui.Sasha : Tu veux que passe chez toi ?Leo : Je ne sais pas.Sasha : Ou alors viens chez moi. Je te montrerais ma salle de jeux.Leo : ...Sasha : J'ai des MONTAGNES de Lego.Leo : J'arrive.Sasha : ♥Leo : ... Arrête ça.Sasha : Désolé. Tu viens alors ?Leo : Je suis là dans dix minutes. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Poids : Qu'est ce que je m'en fous. Nourriture depuis la dernière entrée : Des papillotes Revillon. Il n'y a rien à manger chez Sasha, d'ailleurs. Il faudrait faire des courses. Dernière pensée avant d'écrire : C'était l'une des meilleurs après-midi de ma vie. Je viens de rentre, là. J'étais obligé parce que mes parents ne voulaient pas que je diner dehors alors qu'ils venaient de rentrer. Ils sont en train de faire la cuisine, là, tout les deux juste derrière moi, en me racontant comment se sont passées leurs deux semaines à bord de l'Orient-Express. J'écoute d'une oreille parce qu'honnêtement... J'ai beau aimer mes parents, là je m'en fous. J'ai la tête dans les nuages parce que j'ai passé une des plus belles après-midi de ma vie, et le reste... Je m'en fiche. Je pense juste à Sacha. C'est... Dingue. J'ai l'impression d'être amoureux. C'est tellement soudain. Quand je suis arrivé chez lui... Je voulais lui demander ce qu'on avait fait que j'avais oublié, et puis lui dire de ne plus me faire boire et je crois que je voulais aussi lui dire qu'il ne fallait pas qu'il brule les étapes avec moi mais que je l'aimais bien, je ne savais pas trop pourquoi mais que je l'aimais bien et que je le trouvais craquant. Mais en fait, je ne lui ai rien dit de tout ça. Quand je suis arrivé chez lui, il était en tee-shirt, un tee-shirt blanc trop grand qui glissait sur son épaule et un genre de short de pyjama. Tout dépenaillé, tout mignon. Il sortait du lit, il y avait passé la journée à rêvasser. Il m'a embrassé tout doucement quand je suis arrivé, et ensuite on est allé dans sa salle de jeux. Et on a parlé. A un moment on a fait un tour à la cuisine parce qu'il avait faim et c'est là que je me suis rendu compte qu'il n'y avait rien à manger nul part dans sa cuisine, enfin rien de frais, seulement des conserves. C'était un peu triste. - Toi non plus tes parents ne sont jamais là, hein ? - Mon père vit en Suisse et ma mère à une maison dans les monts d'or, pas très loin. Il vivait vraiment tout seul, alors. Pas comme moi dont les parents étaient souvent absents. Les siens ne vivaient même pas ici. C'était son appartement à lui. C'était d'un triste. On a mangé des papillotes qu'on a trouvées dans une boite dans le salon. Sa salle de jeux est chouette, sauf qu'elle est bizarre. C'est une salle de jeux pour enfants alors que lui est arrivé ici il y a même pas un an. Il a trimballé tous ses vieux trucs avec lui. Il y a plein de paymobils, des montagnes de legos et puis un canapé aussi. C'est une espèce de pièce mansardée. On s'est mis sur le canapé. Et on a parlé. Mais pas de nous. Pas d'hier, non. On a parlé de la fin du monde. On a parlé de galaxies et d'étoiles. D'un peu de politique et beaucoup de littéraire. On a parlé et parlé encore, l'un contre l'autre sur le canapé d'abord et en construisant des murailles de lego ensuite. Je me suis rendu compte de la beauté du monde qu'il y avait dans sa tête et j'en suis encore rêveur. Je pensais qu'il était pire que tous les autres, qu'il était fondu dans la masse des gens que je ne pouvais pas apprécier, mais j'avais tort. Il n'est pas pire. Il est différent. On mange, à plus tard. Voilà, j'ai fini de manger. Mes parents sont encore sur leurs petits nuages, à croire que deux semaines pour fêter leur anniversaire de mariage, ça ne suffisait pas. Je me demande comment ça fait, d'avoir des parents divorcés, ou qui se disputent. Les miens sont super amoureux. Je serais plutôt à me sentir de trop au milieu d'eux tellement ils ont l'air heureux et amoureux. Je suis un enfant de l'amour, un gamin parfait dans un couple parfait pour former une famille plus plus plus. C'est chouette, mais parfois c'est lourd. Bref. Ils sont en train de faire la vaisselle en roucoulant, du coup je suis retourné dans ma chambre. J'en était ou, déjà. Ah oui, Sasha. Donc. Sa salle de jeux est chouette. C'est moins intimidant que sa chambre. Parce qu'il n'y a pas de lit, et pas non plus de préservatifs et de trucs. Je n'ai pas osé lui demander pourquoi il y avait un préservatif par terre la veille du jour ou l'on s'est embrassé. Parce que c'est con comme question. Je sais pourquoi, c'est juste... J'ai du mal à comprendre. Je veux dire, il a l'air de... Me, m'aimer. Beaucoup. Et depuis un certain temps. Et heu, je sais que, enfin je ne suis pas si naïf, enfin il peut bien me draguer et coucher avec quelqu'un d'autre, ce n'est pas un problème, c'est juste que c'est bizarre et je crois que ça me gène un peu aussi quand même. De façon générale, il y a une espèce d'ombre autour de Sasha qui me met mal à l'aise. Je le revois en train de danser avec moi hier, avec l'alcool, en caleçon, je le revois tout collé contre moi avec ses cheveux en sueur et sa façon de bouger et c'est tellement... Il est tellement... Il est tellement différent quand il dort contre moi en tee-shirt et qu'il a l'air d'avoir douze ans. Il a l'air d'un ange. Et parfois, d'un ange déchu. Comme si de temps à autre, il plongeait en enfer et m'emmenait avec lui. On était dans la salle de jeu, tout à l'heure, on avait poussé les legos et on s'était mis à un autre endroit avec des Kaplas. On faisait une muraille, des tours, des ponts, il avait tellement de kaplas, on faisait des trucs gigantesques, il avait dressé tout un mur tout autour de nous et là, au milieu, on était allongés à regarder le ciel par le velux et il s'est allongé sur moi et il m'a embrassé. Alors j'ai fait tomber tout les kaplas autour de nous. Ca l'a fait rire. Je lui ai demandé : - Il s'est passé quoi, cette nuit ? - De quoi ? - Cette nuit. Enfin hier soir. On a bu, on a dansé, mais pourquoi t'étais complètement nu quand je me suis réveillé ? - Parce que je dors nu. Je n'ai rien dit, d'abord. En fait j'étais trop occupé à repasser en accéléré son corps en train de danser contre le mien, avec la musique de Tove Lo et l'alcool. Encore et encore et encore. J'ai ouvert la bouche pour poser une question mais il m'a devancé. - Est ce qu'on a fait des trucs ? C'est ça que tu te demandes ? - Plus ou moins. - Tu ne te rappelles pas ? Il était sur moi, un peu, encore. Je l'ai repoussé pour de bon et il s'est assis au milieu des kaplas que j'avais fait tomber, avec les bras autour des genoux. Il m'a regardé et il me regardait tellement gentiment, avec l'air tellement heureux que ça me mettait mal à l'aise tellement c'était beau et inhabituel. Les gens ne me regardent pas comme ça. Ou alors je n'y avais jamais fait attention. - Je ne sais pas. - On a seulement continué sur la même lancée. Je me suis roulé en boule par terre. Je ne savais pas comment lui expliquer ce que je ressentais. Que je me sentais nul pour tout et son contraire, nul d'avoir bu et de m'être retrouvé quasiment à poil dans son lit et encore plus nul d'être incapable d'arriver à ce point là sans être sous l'influence de l'alcool. Il a avancé la main vers ma taille et j'ai dit : - Je crois que dans toute ma vie j'ai fait deux fois l'amour complètement sobre. Il a posé sa main. J'avais envie de pleurer et ce n'était vraiment pas normal qu'il me fasse ressentir tout ça. Il s'est callé contre moi, contre mon dos, avec sa main sur ma hanche par dessus mon tee-shirt, et puis elle a glissé sur mon ventre et il m'a serré dans ses bras. - Ca va ? - Oui. - Je ne te ferais plus boire. Il m'a embrassé encore. C'était trop bizarre de partout. Après je suis rentré chez moi parce que mes parents m'attendaient. Et j'avais mal au ventre. J'ai toujours mal au ventre d'ailleurs. Sasha vient de m'envoyer un sms. J'ose pas l'ouvrir parce que si c'est un je t'aime je jure que je vais vomir ma pizza maison dans les toilettes. C'est pas un je t'aime. C'est des emojis mignons. Ce mec est désespérant. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- C'est horrible. Il ne faut vraiment pas que je vomisse parce que j'ai juré, j'ai juré à Juliette et Elios, je l'ai juré sur tout ce que j'ai que je ne me forcerais jamais à vomir, jamais. Je l'ai juré mais là j'ai tellement mal, c'est atroce. Mon dieu c'est horrible. Je suis en sueur. J'ai du mal à écrire. Il faut que je respire tranquillement parce que je vais vraiment vomir. Non. Ca va aller. C'est bon. Ca va passer. C'est bon. Mais quel con ce mec. Je ne met jamais mon portable en silencieux. Enfin, en classe, mais je veux dire, chez moi, jamais, et surtout pas la nuit. Mais j'aurais peut-être du. Oh le con. Il a pas fait ça. Parce que Sasha m'a envoyé un sms et je l'ai tellement mal vécu que je suis allé dans la cuisine, je me suis assis devant le frigo et j'ai mangé. J'ai mangé... Tellement. Alors que depuis des semaines je picore plus que je ne mange. Et là... Whoa. Ah non. J'ai mangé les 3/4 de la pizza qu'on avait pas fini hier, une vingtaine d'olives, un sandwich au fromage, deux yaourts aux fruits, six tranches de salami alors que je ne mange vraiment pas beaucoup de viande, quasiment la moitié du pot du Nutella et trois cannettes d'ice tea. Ce n'est que là que je me suis calmé et que je suis retourné au lit en chouinant. C'était horrible. J'ai tellement mal au cœur. Je commence à me calmer un peu. Mon estomac est habitué à mes crises du coup il a accepté de s'étendre monstrueusement et de commencer à digérer tout ça. Je relis le message que m'a envoyé Sasha et j'ai envie de me remettre à pleurer parce que faire une crise pour CA c'est vraiment trop bête. Sms de Sasha : " Hey. Je ne sais pas si tu dors. Moi non. Je pensais à toi et je me demandais si on était ensemble ou quelque chose du genre. Toi et moi. " Et c'est tout. Mais j'ai paniqué sévère et j'ai fait ce que je fait toujours quand je panique sévère : Je suis allé manger tout ce que je pouvais. C'est en train de passer. Ca va aller. Je respire. Ca va aller. Voilà. C'est bon, c'est passé maintenant. Je crois même que j'ai dormi un peu. Oui, il est 5h30. J'ai du me rendormir. J'ai toujours mal au cœur mais ça passera. Il faudrait que je lui réponde, j'imagine. Allez. Sms : " Je pense que non ". Sms de Sasha : " J'aimerais bien ". Sms : " Tu ne dors toujours pas. Gtalk ? " Sms de Sasha : " J'aimerais mieux te voir en vrai ". Sms : " Tu veux sortir marcher ? ". Sms de Sasha : " Oui. " Sms : " Passerelle St-Vincent dans 10 min ? ". Sms de Sasha : " D'accord. " Bon. Bah... Je vais y aller. Il m'a envoyé un dernier sms avant que je ne parte. Sms de Sasha : " Merci. " Je trouve ça mignon. D'autant qu'il n'y a pas de ♥ ☻ à la fin. C'est sobre. Bref. J'espère que ça se passera bien. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Je fais un saut rapide à la maison pour venir chercher ce que ma mère a préparé pour le déjeuner pour Sasha et moi. Quand elle m'a appelé, vers 10h, parce que je n'étais pas à la maison, je lui ai dit que j'étais sorti pour réconforter un ami qui avait eu une peine de cœur et quand je lui ai dit qu'il habitait en face, elle a proposé de nous préparer à manger. Du coup je suis venu chercher ça et en passant je vais prendre mon journal et Gimli, mon lapin, pour les amener chez Sasha. Je pense que ça lui fera plaisir. Bref, je file, histoire que ce que ma mère a préparé soit encore bon quand j'arriverais chez Sasha. A plus. Me revoilà. Sasha dort, Gimli contre son torse, avec la main perdue dans sa fourrure, l'autre agrippant le bord de mon tee-shirt. Il est tout contre moi, dans son lit. Il vient de s'endormir, du coup j'ai pris mon journal pour écrire un peu. Ça m'aide à avoir les idées en place en général. Sasha dort. Il dort tout le temps quand je suis là, mais maintenant je sais pourquoi. Et je n'arrive pas à savoir si je trouve ça mignon ou flippant. Quand je suis allé le rejoindre sur la passerelle, il avait l'air tellement dégouté de la vie que ça m'a fait mal pour lui. Il était assis avec les jambes pendantes vers le fleuve, entre les barreaux, une cigarette à la bouche. Il l'a jeté quand je suis arrivé. Je lui ai demandé : - Ça te manquait de fumer à six heures du matin ? - Ce n'est pas ça. - Qu'est-ce que c'est alors ? - Je ne peux pas dormir. Je me suis glissé à côté de lui. Il était recroquevillé sur lui-même. C'est étrange. Je suis toujours un peu mal à l'aise quand il m'embrasse, mais en même temps quand il n'essaye pas de m'embrasser ça me rend triste. C'est peut-être un peu sadique, mais j'aime quand il essaye, même si je le repousse ensuite. Du coup, j'ai passé mon bras autour de ses épaules et je l'ai serré contre moi. - Qu'est ce qui ne va pas ? - Je manque de sommeil, c'est tout. - C'est quoi qui t'empêches de dormir ? Et là, il m'a répondu ce truc qui au départ m'a semblé bizarre, mais qui ensuite m'a mis très mal à l'aise. - Je ne supporte pas de dormir seul. Et sur le coup, je crois que j'ai trouvé ça mignon. Je l'ai serré un peu plus fort, il a enfoui son visage dans mon cou et je me suis à nouveau dit que peut-être que je l'aimais, peut-être que j'étais amoureux de lui. C'était difficile à savoir, mais ce qui me faisait dire ça c'était cette sensation dans le sternum, comme un aimant, ou plus j'étais proche de lui mieux je me sentais, ou quelque chose comme ça. Ensuite je lui ai demandé s'il voulait qu'on aille chez lui et que je reste avec lui pour qu'il dorme. Il m'a regardé avec l'air de quelqu'un qui vient de se prendre un tsunami et il a hoché la tête. - S'il te plait, oui. On a marché jusqu'à chez lui, main dans la main. Je crois que c'était une façon de se tenir la main qui était plus amicale que romantique, en fait. Ce n'est pas que je me voile la face, c'est seulement que là, je caressais sa main avec mon pouce et je lui sourirais et j'essayais de prendre soin de lui. D'accord, c'est peut-être romantique, je ne sais pas. On est allé chez lui. Sa chambre était en bordel et je me disais c'est dingue j'étais là hier soir c'était rangé mais là il y avait des fringues par terre, des bouquins et des oreillers. Il ne voulait pas que je fasse le lit, il préfère quand c'est en bordel. Il s'est roulé en boule au milieu et je ne savais pas trop comment me mettre, et je lui ai dit que j'avais envie de l'aider à dormir mais que s'il fallait qu'on soit complètement collé ça allait être compliqué et qu'il m'avait dit qu'il dormait nu mais que moi ça me posait problème. Ça l'a fait sourire. Finalement il a enlevé seulement son short et il s'est roulé en boule, et moi je suis venu l'entourer de mes bras et c'était bien. Il s'est endormi. Moi ce n'était même pas en rêve, je ne peux pas dormir avec quelqu'un, c'est trop dur, en plus j'avais encore très mal au ventre à cause de tout à l'heure. Mais j'ai somnolé. Je l'ai tenu contre moi, j'ai somnolé et j'ai pensé à toute cette situation que je ne comprenais pas trop. Et quand il a été profondément endormi, je l'ai lâché, je suis allé prendre un des bouquins qui était par terre, c'était le Silmarion en anglais. Alors je me suis dit que peut être que je l'aimais parce qu'il avait le Silmarion en anglais et dans une vieille édition en plus et que c'était une bonne raison d'aimer quelqu'un. J'ai lu contre lui. A un moment il s'est retourné et il a enroulé ses bras autour de moi, avec sa tête sur mon torse. Et j'étais tellement pris dans ma lecture que ça allait. J'ai glissé ma main dans ses cheveux et je crois qu'il a murmuré un truc qui ressemblait beaucoup à un je t'aime mais même ça ce n'était pas grave, à ce moment-là. C'était mignon. Tout chez lui était mignon et je me foutais du fait que ça allait probablement me poser plein de problèmes par la suite. A cet instant c'était mignon et c'était tout ce qui importait. En fait c'est quand il s'est réveillé, vers 10h, alors que j'avais fini par poser le livre et par presque m'endormir aussi, que ça a posé problème. Il s'est réveillé et il a été très câlin, d'un coup. Et moi j'étais tellement détendu, entre autre parce que j'avais mangé et même si ça me rend malade, ça me détend aussi, du coup j'étais bien, à ce moment-là. Il m'a enlevé mon livre des mains et il est venu m'embrasser et passer ses mains sous mon tee-shirt. J'ai vraiment du mal, mais ça allait. Je crois que je maitrisais la situation. Ça n'allait pas déraper plus loin que je ne voulais. Il a caressé mon ventre et il m'embrassait et je l'ai laissé faire et j'y ai répondu jusqu'à que ça devienne... Vous savez, entre frustrant parce que ce n'est pas suffisant et gênant physiquement parlant. Enfin vous voyez. Je l'ai repoussé et il a grimacé. Il a dit, texto : " Mais j'ai envie... " Comme je suis complètement débile, j'ai pris un de ses oreillers dans mes bras, je me suis roulé en boule autour et j'ai demandé : " Envie de quoi ? " Il a caché son visage dans ses mains et c'est trop bizarre parce qu'il a l'air tellement chou comme ça avec ses taches de rousseur qui apparaissent seulement avec cette lumière précise, ses grands yeux avec des couleurs tellement douces et tellement pâles dedans et ses cheveux en bordel et il m'a dit : " De toi ". Après on a approché sa télé - je n'avais même pas vu qu'il avait une télévision dans sa chambre et on a mis une chaine de dessins animés. On s'est couché côte à côte sur le ventre et il a appuyé sa tête sur mon épaule. On a discuté de pleins de trucs en regardant Oggy et les cafards et c'est là que ça a dérapé. Je lui ai demandé : - Qu'est-ce que tu voulais dire par " je n'arrive pas à dormir tout seul ? " Il a haussé les épaules. - Je n'arrive pas à m'endormir s'il n'y a personne avec moi. - Comment tu fais alors ? Tu prends des somnifères ? Il a rigolé. A posteriori, c'était un rire assez dégeulasse. - Mais non. Je ne dors jamais seul, tout simplement. Il était allé chercher un sachet de chips avant d'allumer la télévision et il en a pioché une grosse poignée. Moi je ne voulais pas y toucher. Et il n'a rien ajouté. Pour lui, c'était très clair et ça ne demandait pas de précisions. Je me suis redressé, je me suis assis. C'était tellement énorme ce qu'il venait de dire que ça tournait dans ma tête. J'ai demandé : - Tu as un copain ? - Je t'aurais demandé de sortir avec moi si c'était le cas ? - Je ne sais pas. Il a continué à manger des chips et à ne rien dire. J'ai continué. - Avec qui est ce que tu dors alors ? - Des mecs. - Mais qui ? - Des mecs, c'est tout. - Je ne comprends pas. Là il a soupiré, il a posé son paquet de chips et il m'a pris la main. En général quand les gens vous prennent la main comme ça ce n'est pas pour vous dire des trucs cools. J'ai laissé ma main. - Des mecs que je trouve dans des bars, ou ce genre de choses. Je les ramène ici et ils dorment avec moi parce que je n'aime pas dormir tout seul. - Mais vous dormez juste ? : Il a éclaté de rire. Et je suis tombé au fond du trou et je me suis dit que c'était pas. Possible. Que je puisse l'aimer. J'ai dit tout bas : - Il y avait un préservatif par terre le soir ou je suis venu chez toi, avant qu'on ne s'embrasse. - Désolé. Je n'avais pas eu le temps de ranger. Je ne savais pas quoi ajouter. J'avais l'impression qu'on m'avait trompé sur la marchandise. En l'embrassant j'avais signé un genre de contrat et d'un seul coup je découvrais que les termes n'étaient pas exactement tels que je l'avais imaginé. Je devais faire une sale tête parce qu'il a fini par ajouter quelques précisions. - Je ne ramène pas un mec différent tous les soirs... Je ne suis pas comme ça. Je prends des somnifères ou je dors la journée, parce que la journée j'y arrive. Mais j'aime bien dormir avec des gens, c'est agréable. Donc voilà. Je sors, je m'amuse. - Et tu me demandes de sortir avec toi ? Je n'étais même pas choqué, j'étais plutôt désabusé. Il m'a pris dans ses bras mais je crois que je boudais parce que je l'ai repoussé. Il a soupiré et il a éteint la télé. - Tu ne veux pas qu'on retourne là-haut ? Là-haut c'était la salle de jeux. J'ai haussé les épaules. On y est allé et c'est vrai que d'un seul coup tout était plus simple. C'était le bordel avec tous les Legos et les Kaplas de la dernière fois alors on a tout rangé et pendant qu'on rangeait, sans se toucher ni trop se regarder, on parlé. C'était tellement plus simple comme ça. - Si tu sortais avec moi il n'y aurait que toi. Si tu sortais avec moi et que tu me le demandais. Qu'il n'y ai que toi. - Ca ne serait pas évident ? - Pas forcément, non. Mais si tu me disais que tu ne veux pas qu'il y ai un autre que toi alors ça m'irait. J'ai dit un truc tellement bête à ce moment-là, et je crois que ça l'a blessé même s'il a fait comme si de n'était. J'ai dit : - Je ne pourrais pas tenir ta cadence. Je n'aime pas ça. Il a compris ce qu'était le ça mais il n'a pas relevé. Il n'a pas répondu, en fait. On a terminé de ranger et on s'est posé sur le canapé. Il m'a demandé si on pouvait s'embrasser un moment et j'ai dit oui. Et je me disais qu'il ne devait probablement pas se rendre compte que pour moi c'était un sacré effort de le laisser m'embrasser parce que j'avais du mal. Mais peu importe. On s'est embrassé et on s'est un peu touché à travers nos tee-shirts. Puis il m'a demandé : - Tu veux sortir avec moi ? - Pour l'instant, non. - D'accord. Ensuite comme il était treize heures, ma mère m'a appelé pour me dire que ce qu'elle avait préparé pour Sasha et moi était près, alors je suis passé chez moi et j'ai ramené à manger, mon, journal et mon lapin. J'ai rien mangé parce que je ne pouvais pas mais Sasha a dévoré la salade de ravioles comme un affamé. Ensuite il a joué avec Gimli et très rapidement, il s'est à nouveau endormi. C'est un peu agaçant qu'il dorme tout le temps quand je suis là. Même si je sais pourquoi. Du coup je vais le réveiller. Peut-être avec un baiser. A plus. ♥ ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Je vais P-ê-t-e-r un cable. Sérieusement, je vais vraiment craquer. Ou plutôt, non, je vais me déchirer le frein à force de me branler comme si ma vie en dépendant à chaque fois que Leo-la-frustration rentre chez lui. Honnêtement je suis tellement à bout que je suis vraiment en train de me demander si je ne devrais le faire boire comme un trou, histoire qu'on s'envoie en l'air un coup et après ça sera fait du coup il sera peut être moins traumatisé de la vie. Traumatisé de la vie ? TRAUMATISE DE LA TEUB OUAIS. Pardon, je suis énervé là. Faut que je me détente. Sans me déchirer le frein et puis mourir d'hémorragie tout seul dans salle de bains. Plaignez moi. Bon. Je me calme. Ca fait à peu près trois semaines qu'on se voit tout le temps, Leo et moi. Tout les jours. Et honnêtement, question sentiment, je fais la planche dans le lac de l'amour, les doigts de pieds en éventail. On est tout le temps fourré chez moi, dans ma salle de jeux, à jouer à des trucs de gamins et à discuter de plein de trucs et... C'est génial. Il sait un nombre incalculable de choses, sur un nombre incalCULable de sujets. Sa vision du monde est comme la mienne : Idéalistico-désespérée. On a tout les deux envie de nous barrer à la campagne et d'avoir une maison auto-suffisante en énergie, avec un potager et des animaux pour être aussi auto-suffisant en nourriture. On est tout les deux décidés à voter parti pirate quand on aura le droit de vote. Et même si " dans les mots " on est pas ensemble, on est carrément ensemble : J'ai pas le droit d'aller voir ailleurs. On fait les courses ensembles. Quand il a vu qu'il n'y avait rien à manger chez moi à part des cochonneries et de l'alcool, on est allé faire les courses ensemble et on s'est fait livré des montagnes de bouffe. Depuis, il est là midi et soir et il fait la cuisine. Il cuisine super bien. Et attendez. Ce mec. A fabriqué FABRIQUE ... De la crème de massage parfumée................... . . . Et à coté de ça on baise pas et je vais mourir j'ai juré je vais mourir ma queue va tomber en poussière tellement elle se sent inutile elle va être vexée. Je la chouchoute quand je suis tout seul mais ça suffit pas là. Non parce quand il s'agit de me faire des massages, quand il s'agit de jouer avec mes cheveux, quand il s'agit de lire et de trainer sur 9gag pendant que je dors contre lui, là y a pas de problème. Mais dès que je fais mine de passer sous la ceinture, et va y qu'il me repousse, et vas y qu'il boude, et vas y qu'il m'emmerde. Putain je sors avec le type le plus coincé du monde c'est dingue. Je sais pas ce que c'est son problème mais trois semaines à me la mettre entre les jambes perso ça me fatigue. En plus c'est pas comme si on faisait RIEN, non. A chaque fois, on avance quand même. On va toujours un petit peu plus loin. Mais un tout petit peu. Comme avant qu'on ne s'embrasse, sur le bord du fleuve, là. Petit doigt par petit doigt pour qu'on se prenne la main. Et bah là c'est pareil. C'est par étapes. Bisou. Bisou pendant cinq minutes avec la langue. Mains sur le tee-shirt. Mains sous le tee-shirt. Lui enlever son tee-shirt. Bisous dans le cou. Sur le torse. Mains sur son jean. Et on est bloqué à mains sur le jean depuis une semaine. Il porterait une ceinture de chasteté ça serait pareil. Son caleçon c'est zone interdite.Il faut que j'aille voir chez Undiz s'ils n'ont pas des caleçons marqués zone interdite. Au début je trouvais ça mignon. Maintenant, moins. J'ai l'impression qu'il se fout de ma gueule. Je comprends pas qu'il ai un blocage pareil et j'arrête pas de me dire que si on passait au dessus avec de l'alcool, ça irait mieux. Du coup... Je crois que je vais lui proposer. Allez. Je me lance. SMS : bb ? Sms de Leo : ...Mais t'es sérieux ? Sms : :( Sms de Leo : Qu'est ce qu'il y a ? Sms : Tu veux pas qu'on sorte ce soir ? Sms de Leo : Je sais pas. Putain le jour ou il me répondra autre chose. Quoi que je demande il me sort son "je sais pas " de mec traumatisé de la vie pour lequel chaque décision doit être murement réfléchi. Sms : On pourrait aller diner chez Elephant and Castle. C'est à cinq minutes et tu as dis que tu adorais leur camembert pané. Sms : Alors c'est oui ? Sms de Leo : Je vais y réfléchir. Putain il m'emmerde. Sms : J'en ai marre de tes je sais pas et je vais y réfléchir. J'en ai marre qu'à chaque fois que t'accepte un truc ça doit une putain de faveur que tu me fais. Je te fais pitié, tu viens me voir que pour ça ? Parce que je suis tout seul dans mon appart à me droguer et que je te fais pitié ? J'en ai marre. J'ai envie de sortir ce soir, j'ai envie de boire un bloody Mary et de manger du camembert pané alors sois tu viens avec moi sois je propose à quelqu'un d'autre parce que tu me fais chier. Bien sur c'est seulement une fois que c'est envoyé que je me dis que je n'aurais pas du m'énerver comme ça et qu'il va m'envoyer chier et que ça va me faire mal au cœur. Mais en fait non. Il ne m'envoie pas chier. Dingue, ça. : ... Il est toujours adorable au moment ou je m'y attends le moins, c'est dingue. Sms de Leo : Excuse moi. J'adorerais y aller et j'adorerais y aller avec toi. Je vais monter avec Juliette aujourd'hui mais je serais de retour à 18h. Je te rejoins chez toi ? Sms de Sasha : Wtf tu vas monter Juliette ? de Leo : Monter à cheval avec Juliette.................... Sms : Ok. A ce soir alors. Sms de Leo : A ce soir mon cœur. JE FONDS AWN IL M'APPELE MON COEUR AZY C'EST LA FETE Je vais aller danser en caleçon dans le salon je reviens. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Il est genre deux heures du matin. On viens de rentrer chez moi. Leo est complètement bourré. Mais genre, complètement bourré, pas délicieusement soul. Il s'est effondré dans le lit quand on est rentré en geignant : " J'vais mouriiir... " Je suis dans la douche, là. Je me sens un peu bizarre, mais plutôt super bien, dans l'ensemble. La soirée a été merveilleuse. D'un bout à l'autre. Il faut que j'écrive tout pour me remettre les idées en place et ensuite je pourrais aller dormir avec lui. Toute la nuit avec lui. Il est arrivé à 18h30, avec les cheveux mouillés de la douche et tout souriant. De base, ça m'a achevé. Leo fait un peu la gueule en permanence, ou disons que, naturellement, quand il ne pense à rien, il a l'air de faire la gueule ou d'être mécontent. Il est tellement froid, en général. Mais là, il avait l'air bien. Il m'a pris dans ses bras, il s'est encore excusé et j'ai pu l'embrasser un long moment en glisser mes mains sous son tee-shirt avant qu'il ne me repousse doucement. C'était vraiment agréable. On est sortis. On a marché vers le bar qui est juste à coté, Elephant and Castel, là ou ils font le camembert pané. Nos mains s'effleuraient et je crois que ça le gênait mais à la place de me tenir la main, il a passé son bras autour de mes épaules, m'a collé à lui quelques instants et à embrassé ma tempe. On a pris des cocktails. On a mangé des onions rings, du camembert pané et du poulet frit. J'adore cet endroit, la nourriture est trop bonne. - Tu dors chez moi ce soir ? J'ai demandé ça après le deuxième cocktail, quand il avait les joues roses et qu'il riait beaucoup en parlant. Il m'a regardé, a regardé ailleurs, m'a regardé et a répondu... - Je sais pas. - Si tu dors chez moi, demain on va bruncher chez Wallace, juste en face. Ils font des œufs benedict. Tu as déjà gouté ? - Non. - Tu adorerais. Il a rit, voir même gloussé et je n'ai pas pu résisté. Je me suis penché vers lui - il était assis à coté de moi - j'ai pris son visage entre mes mains et je l'ai embrassé. J'ai eu peur de me faire jeter, mais non. Il a glissé ses doigts contre ma nuque et il m'a rendu mon baiser. Et ensuite il m'a dit : - D'accord. Je crois que c'est là que je me suis là que la soirée allait être... Genre... " Epic ". Et elle l'a été. On est resté trois heures à boire des cocktails et à refaire le monde. A un moment je me suis callé contre lui, dans ses bras, et il m'a embrassé dans le cou. C'est là que j'ai redemandé : - Tu veux sortir avec moi ? Il a soupiré. Je me disais que j'étais dingue, non ? Tout se déroulait bien et moi je ne faisais que pousser l'avantage encore et encore, jusqu'à que ça parte en vrille. A croire que je désespérais de tout gâcher Mais il ne m'a pas repoussé. Il m'a serré plus fort contre lui, dans ses bras et il a posé sa tête sur mon épaule. - Je n'ai pas envie que mes parents le sachent. Ni les gens de ma classe. De notre classe. Je sais qu'on est en 2015, que ça n'a rien de mal et que c'est quasiment accepté par tout le monde et qu'il ne faut pas avoir honte et putain tout les arguments que tu veux mais... - Mais tu as honte. - Non. Je n'ai pas honte. Mais je sais que ça va faire réagir les gens. Et je n'ai pas envie. Ce ne sont pas leurs affaires. Son argument était un peu nul. Mais je ne perds jamais le Nord. - Et si on se cachait ? - Hmm ? - On pourrait se cacher. Faire comme si on était juste amis. On ne le dirait à personne, qu'on est ensemble. - Mais qu'est ce que ça changerait, alors ? Je me suis tourné pour lui faire face. Jamais je n'avais été aussi proche de lui. Dans ses bras à lui parler, à glisser ma tête dans son cou et mon bras dans son dos. A boire dans son verre, lui voler sa nourriture, l'embrasser dans le cou et qu'il me laisse faire, qu'il sourit. - Les mots sont importants. Dire qu'on sort avec une personne, ça a un sens, même si les actions ne changent pas. Il a hoché la tête. Il a commandé deux autre cocktails et il a dit : - Je vais y réfléchir, d'accord ? Très vite. Ca m'allait. On a bu a en avoir la bouche pâteuse. On est sorti et on a marché jusque dans un genre de boite de nuit pas très loin. Les rues étaient très animées, Leo avait sa main sur ma taille, sous mon tee-shirt. Il avait l'air tellement bien, tellement pas lui et lui à la fois, je ne sais pas. J'étais confus aussi. Dans la boite, on a bu encore. On a dansé, comme ce soir chez moi, quelques semaines auparavant. L'un contre l'autre et je sentais la sueur sur ses mains qui passaient sur mon ventre et glissaient vers ma ceinture. Je sentais la sueur sous mes doigts dans ses cheveux, je sentais la chaleur de son corps contre le mien et le désir qui montait, montait en spirales et nous enveloppait. Je l'ai attiré dans un coin. J'ai perdu le contrôle de moi que j'avais conservé un moment. Il était à moi, près de moi et il en redemandait. Il y avait l'obscurité et combien de fois avais-je fait ça avec d'autre que lui, dans cet endroit même ? Il a quelque chose de pur chez Leo, que j'ai parfois envie de salir, parfois envie de protéger. Ce soir, c'était la première option. On nous a mis à la porte. Le vent froid de la nuit a eu un drôle d'effet sur Leo. Il ne riait ni ne gémissait plus. Il était devenu mutique. Il s'est agrippé à moi pendant les quelques minutes de chemin du retour. Il faudrait que je le rejoigne dans le lit, maintenant. Je l'entends m'appeler depuis la chambre. Je vais ranger ça et aller me glisser dans ses bras. Et peut-être lui dire combien je l'aime avant de m'endormir. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Poids : Je n'arrive pas à croire qu'il n'y a pas de balance chez Sasha et à l'instant présent ça me rends malade. Nourriture depuis la veille : La moitié d'un plateau de camembert pané, oignons rings, frites, poulet frit, oignon marinés et salade + Trois coktails + un nombre invraisemblable de shots de vodka. Ce que je ressens à cet instant : Je suis un mec totalement minable. Je me suis enfermé dans la salle de bains pour être tranquille, avec mon journal. Sasha est dans sa chambre, de l'autre coté de la porte. Il joue du violon, il joue une musique triste qui me tords lentement le cœur. Je me suis réveillé dans ses bras. En tee-shirt et caleçon, contre lui en caleçon. Ca m'a plu qu'il soit en caleçon et pas nu parce qu'il sait que ça me gène. La tête posée sur son cœur, mes bras autour de lui, les siens croisés sur mon dos. J'étais bien, dans ses bras. La couette blanche était douce et chaude sur nous, le soleil haut dans le ciel filtrait largement par les stores. J'avais dormi dans ses bras. Toute la nuit durant, j'avais dormi pressé contre son corps, et j'avais dormi. Et là, il me tenait toujours dans ses bras, j'étais contre sa peau et je n'avais pas envie qu'il cesse de me toucher. - Sasha ? Il a grogné, a resserré sa prise sur moi et à répondu un genre de : - Gnnfff...? - Sasha. Tu m'as fait boire hier. Je ne sais pas si j'étais en colère, déçu ou quelque chose comme ça. Je ne crois pas. J'étais bien. J'étais dans ses bras, j'étais bien et c'était tellement extraordinaire d'être bien comme ça. Lui, il a eu l'air beaucoup moins bien d'un seul coup. Il a cligné des yeux, il s'est redressé comme il a pu et finalement il m'a regardé, avec ses yeux se fermant à demi et il m'a dit : - Je suis désolé. - Ce n'est pas grave. J'ai passé une merveilleuse soirée grâce à toi. C'était surement un peu pompeux, mais peu importe. Il s'est aussitôt laissé retomber sur les oreillers. J'ai posé la main sur son ventre, je l'ai fixé jusqu'à qu'il rouvre les yeux et qu'il me fixe à son tour. Alors tout doucement, très naturellement, il m'a dit : - Je t'aime. J'ai tendu la main vers son visage. Je n'ai jamais su dire je t'aime. Je ne l'ai jamais dit à Juliette, avec qui je suis sorti par intermittences pendant trois ans. Je ne le dis pas à mes parents. En fait, la seule personne à qui je le dis, c'est... Gimli, mon lapin. Alors j'ai essayé de lui donner une réponse qui serait à la hauteur. J'ai grimpé contre lui, j'ai collé tout mon corps au sien et je l'ai embrassé. Agenouillé sur lui, j'ai fait passer mon tee-shirt par dessus ma tête et je l'ai posé à coté de nous. Sans le quitter des yeux. Je crois qu'il devait y avoir une certaine sensualité dans ce que je faisais mais ce n'était pas vraiment ça. C'était bien plus profond et bien plus doux que la sensualité. Je me déshabillais pour lui dire que j'avais confiance en lui. Que j'avais envie de lui. J'ai pris sa main, je l'ai posée sur mon sternum. Il a caressé ma peau du bout de ses doigts et j'ai murmuré : - Merci. Je vais garder ça très précieusement, ici. Il a hoché la tête. Ensuite je me suis allongé contre lui et je l'ai embrassé encore. Cette fois ci, c'était véritablement sensuel. On a roulé tous les deux dans la couette, on s'est embrassé très longuement, en s'agrippant aux cheveux ou à la taille de l'autre, en entremêlant nos jambes, jusqu'à que ça devienne gênant mais je n'ai pas arrêté pour autant. Je frémissais, je frémissais si fort, j'avais si chaud entre ses bras. Mon corps se tendait contre le sien, il avait sa main dans le creux de mes reins, il me guidait et nos corps roulaient encore et encore et encore comme des vagues l'un contre l'autre, comme les vagues qui semblaient nous recouvrir de sel brulant. J'ai murmuré : - Tu sais... Je déteste si fort que l'on me touche, je ne sais pas pourquoi... Je me sens si mal quand on s'approche de moi qu'à force, je n'ai plus laissé personne essayer de me toucher. Je ne laisse plus les gens essayer, j'ai trop peur. C'est pour ça que je te repousse sans cesse. - Mais tu es dans mes bras, maintenant. - Je suis dans tes bras... Quand toi tu me touches, ce n'est pas pareil. Ca ne fait pas mal. Quand toi tu me touches, je ne veux surtout pas que ça s'arrêtes, je veux que ça continue encore un long moment. Quand tu me touches, c'est comme un courant électrique à faible tension parce que ça me rend brulant et frémissant, ça ferait presque mal, je ne sais pas. Ses yeux débordaient d'amour, ses mains recelaient des trésors de caresse. Nos corps brulaient d'en avoir plus, ils étaient si plein de vitalité, si plein de sang frais et avide. J'ai niché mon corps dans les creux du sien, nos jambes et nos bras semblaient s'emboiter. On ne parlait plus, qu'en langage de soupirs, on se mordillaient. Je n'avais jamais ressenti ça dans mon corps, jamais. Cette plénitude. Ce sentiment d'avoir un soleil entre les côtes. Et puis d'un seul coup, ça a été trop fort, trop vite, le soleil s'est éteint stupidement et dans le froid qui l'a remplacé, je me suis senti idiot, gêné, minable. Je me suis senti sale aussi, parce que je me rappelais trop bien de la veille, de ce qui nous avait fait virer du bar. Je l'ai repoussé. - Tu n'avais pas besoin de me faire boire pour en arriver là. Il te suffisait d'être patient. Il a eu l'air blessé, désolé et agacé tout à la fois. Je suis sorti du lit et j'ai grommelé : - Je vais prendre une douche. Et maintenant je suis là. Et je ne sais pas quoi faire. Sasha toque à la porte. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Nourriture depuis la dernière entrée : Rien, j'avais l'estomac trop noué. Poids : 61kg800. Un bon gros roti. Pensée en cours : Je............ J'ai mal au ventre. Ou pas vraiment au ventre, un peu plus bas et aussi un peu plus haut. Et je n'ai pas vraiment mal. C'est plus... Une sensation, comme un poids, une chaleur, quelque chose qui gratouille. Mes parents m'ont appelés quand j'étais chez Sasha pour que je rentre diner, et ils m'ont dit qu'il fallait que l'on ai une petite discussion et je crois que ça accentue un peu mon mal au ventre. Je me sens tout bizarre. J'écris roulé en boule sous ma couette, tout habillé et j'ai vraiment du mal à tenir mon stylo parce que mes yeux se ferment. Mais j'ai envie d'écrire avant que mes parents m'appellent pour manger. J'en était ou ? A oui. Sasha toquait à la porte de la douche. Il avait posé son violon et tout naturellement, il m'a demandé : - Est ce que je peux prendre ma douche avec toi ? J'ai dit non. Mais j'ai quand même déverrouillé la porte. J'étais assis derrière, avec mon journal serré contre mon torse. Il est entré, il a refermé la porte derrière lui et il l'a re-verouillé. Puis il s'est assis par terre en face de moi. - Je pensais que les choses seraient plus faciles si tu buvais un peu. Plus facile pour toi. Et pour moi aussi. C'est pas que je suis pas patient, je te jure. C'est pas ça. - C'est quoi, alors ? - A chaque fois que tu me repousses j'ai l'impression de t'avoir forcé la main. Tu ne viens jamais vers moi. C'est toujours moi qui commence et je n'aime pas ça. Je n'ai pas l'habitude et je n'aime pas. Il n'avait pas vraiment l'air triste. Il avait cet air mélangé, un peu de honte, un peu de contrariété, un peu de tout qui se bouscule. J'ai posé mon journal par terre. - Tu es fâché contre moi ? J'ai demandé. - Je crois plutôt que c'est l'inverse, non ? - Non. Il s'est avancé un peu et j'ai compris qu'il avait raison. Je ne venais jamais vers lui. Pourtant j'en avais envie, même si je finissais toujours par le repousser, j'étais toujours partant pour des baisers, des caresses, des câlins. Mais je ne prenais jamais l'initiative. Alors j'ai ouvert les bras, j'ai tendu les mains vers lui. Je l'ai serré contre mon corps et c'est ça qui est toujours si fou et si fort avec lui. C'est cette façon que l'on a parfois de s'enlacer et de s'embrasser avec un tout petit peu de tristesse dedans, comme s'enlacent et s'embrassent les gens qui s'aiment profondément. Il est resté contre mon torse un moment, la tête dans le creux de mes clavicules et j'ai murmuré tout bas : - Je me rappelle pourquoi on s'est fait viré de la boite, hier. Enfin, tôt ce matin. Et je... J'ai... Honte. - Qu'on se soit fait virer ? - Non. Que tu l'ais fait. J'ai honte. Même si c'est bête, j'ai honte. C'est tellement... Je sais pas. Intime. J'ai senti qu'il souriait et je ne pouvais pas m'empêcher de me dire qu'il avait du faire ça à un nombre pas possible de mecs, dans cette boite là même. Et je trouvais ça horrible, parce que Juliette l'avait déjà fait avec moi mais personne d'autre parce que pour moi c'était vraiment un acte d'amour. Mais là c'était du sexe, et glauque en plus. Il a redressé la tête et je me suis senti très triste parce que j'avais ses images dans ma tête de lui avec tout ces gens et que là il me regardait avec l'air un peu fatigué, les joues roses et ses cheveux blonds dans les yeux et il ressemblait à un ange ou à une personne que je voulais désespérément protéger. J'ai caressé sa joue et il a murmuré : - Je voulais te faire plaisir. Et ça me rendait encore plus triste. Alors je l'ai embrassé, tout doucement d'abord et ensuite très fort, et je lui ai dis qu'il n'avait pas besoin de faire ça pour me faire plaisir, que moi ce que j'aimais c'était jouer aux Legos avec lui et parler de la fin du monde. Il avait l'air bien. On avait glissé au sol pendant qu'on parlait et même si le carrelage de la salle de bains était froid et dur, on était bien. On était tellement bien à s'enlacer et à parler tout doucement et à s'embrasser entre les mots. Merde, mes parents m'appellent pour le diner. En plus ils veulent me parler. Je raconte après. Voilà. Il voulait me dire qu'ils allaient partir une semaine je ne sais même plus ou voir des amis, en Espagne je crois, et ils voulaient savoir si je voulais venir et j'ai dit non, du coup je vais encore avoir l'appartement pour moi tout seul, quasiment jusqu'à la rentrée. C'est plutôt cool. Bref, j'en était ou. Ah oui, j'étais allongé avec Sasha sur le carrelage et je lui disais en gros qu'il n'avait clairement pas besoin de me tailler des pipes pour que je l'apprécie et que je ne sais pas quel mec débile lui avait foutu cette idée en tête mais que moi je l'aimais pour plein de choses et le fait qu'il soit beau et qu'il adore les câlins en faisait parti mais vraiment pas en en première place du tout et oui j'ai dit "aimer". Il s'est détaché de mes bras, s'est redressé et m'a tendu la main pour que je me relève aussi. Et là, il a dit comme une fleur : - Mais la première fois tu m'as dit que tu aimerais que je ne fasse que ça pendant des heures tellement c'était bon. Je suis devenu rouge pivoine et je lui ai dis que la première fois j'étais tellement bourré que je ne me rappelais pas avoir dit ça et qu'en fait je ne me rappelais même pas clairement qu'il l'avait fait et j'ai regardé ailleurs. Il s'est agrippé à moi et il m'a dit : - Je t'aime, Leo. Je t'aime tellement. Je n'ai pas répondu. Il m'en demandait trop, là. Beaucoup trop. Je l'ai décroché de moi, j'ai pris sa main, je me suis détourné vers la douche et j'ai demandé : - Tu veux toujours prendre ta douche avec moi ? Alors il a eu l'air très heureux. Et après... Je... Je ne sais pas si je peux raconter ça. Je crois que ça ma gène trop. Même à mon journal ça me gêne trop. Parce que quand je nous revois dans la douche, et après dans le lit, ça me fait penser au film la leçon de piano, parce qu'Ada a déjà fait l'amour avant mais quand elle se retrouve dans le lit avec Baites, elle découvre que le sexe, c'est la sensualité, l'érotisme et plein d'autre choses. Et pendant toute cette après-midi avec Sasha, dans ses bras j'avais l'impression de tout découvrir, alors que j'avais couché avec plein de filles avant, je découvrais tout. Ca me serre très fort dans le ventre quand j'y repense tellement c'était agréable. J'peux pas écrire. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Leo : Hey, je... Leo : Tu es là ? Leo : Tu dois pas être sur ton ordinateur. Leo : Je crois que, enfin, j'ai l'impression que je ne pourrais jamais te le dire en face mais j'ai tellement besoin de te le dire, là, je ne sais pas si tu as déjà ressenti ça, tu as tellement besoin de dire ce que tu ressens et pardon, pardon j'ai l'impression d'être tellement, tellement niais. Leo : Sois là s'il te plait. Leo : J'ai envie de te parler, je ne me sens pas très bien et j'ai envie de te parler et en même temps c'est plus facile comme ça, peut être que je devrais te dire ce que je veux te dire et puis couper mon ordinateur et mon téléphone et dormir, mais je sais que je ne vais pas y arriver. Leo : Tu vas me prendre pour un attardé mental quand tu vas lire ça. Leo : ... Leo : J'ai envie d'être dans tes bras. Leo : J'ai tellement envie d'être dans tes bras, là. Leo : C'est comme si j'avais un gros manque, un gros trou dans le cœur ou le ventre, par là, et que j'avais une sensation super bizarre dans le dos et le bras parce qu'il n'y a pas tes bras à toi autour de moi. Leo : C'est horrible Sasha, j'avais jamais ressenti ça, jamais, pour personne ou alors seulement pour mon lapin. Leo : ..................... Pardon ce n'est pas ce que je voulais dire. Leo : Mais mon lapin c'est la personne que j'aime le plus au monde tu comprends alors... Le prends pas mal... Leo : Je... T'es pas là et j'ai vraiment l'air d'un idiot. Leo : C'est juste... Leo : ... Bref. Leo : Je vais aller me coucher. Mais avant, je voulais juste te dire... Leo est en train d'écrire. Leo est en train d'écrire. Leo est en train d'écrire. Leo est en train d'écrire. Leo est en train d'écrire. Leo : Je tiens à toi. Leo s'est déconnecté ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Sasha vient de partir. Après avoir éteint mon ordinateur, je me suis roulé dans la couette et j'ai essayé de dormir mais j'étais horriblement nerveux. Je n'arrêtais pas de me remuer dans tout les sens et de faire des micros-cauchemars. Finalement je me suis levé pour aller boire un verre d'eau dans ma salle de bains. Je me suis assis sur mon lit. On voyait bien parce que je ne ferme pas les volets et qu'il y a des lampadaires le long de la route en bas. Et d'un seul coup, on a toqué à la porte fenêtre de mon balcon et je me suis renversé de l'eau partout. Je suis allé ouvrir à Sasha. - ... Est ce que t'as grimpé le long du mur ? - Ouais. Mais y a qu'un étage et j'ai fait beaucoup d'escalade. - Il fait quatre mètres, l'étage ! T'es complètement mal... - Tu vas réveiller tes parents à crier comme ça. Je peux entrer ? J'ai froid. On est entré dans ma chambre, j'ai fermé la porte fenêtre. Je n'arrivais pas à réagir convenablement parce que j'étais choqué. Je me sentais trop bizarre. Il s'est baladé un peu dans la pièce, puis il s'est tourné vers moi et il m'a dit en souriant : - Tu ne disais pas que tu voulais être dans mes bras ? J'ai fondu comme neige au micro-ondes et je me suis jeté dans ses bras. Moi. Je me suis jeté dans ses bras. On s'est embrassé un moment debout au milieu de la pièce et qu'on on a eu fini de s'embrasser et bah... On était en caleçon. C'était comme un feu à l'intérieur. L'après-midi ne m'avait pas rassasié. On s'est glissé en caleçon sous la couette et c'est comme si on avait pas quitté son lit. On a repris là ou l'on s'était arrêté. Et pendant qu'on s'embrassait et qu'on se serrait et se caressait dans le noir, il a parlé de l'après-midi et moi qui ne supporte pas que certaines personnes aiment parler pendant l'amour, d'un seul coup j'adorais ça. Il murmurait contre ma peau : - C'était tellement bien cet aprèm, mon bébé... - M'appelle pas comme ça... - Mon amour ? - Leo, c'est bien. - Mon Leo. -... D'accord. - Mon Leo. Mon Leo a moi. Tout à moi. Mais il disait ça avec ses mains sur mon ventre et plus bas alors je ne pouvais pas récriminer. Je ne pouvais que suivre la cadence et essayer à tout prix de lui faire comprendre que j'étais d'accord, j'étais complètement d'accord. Et en même temps... IL y avait quelque chose qui ne collait pas. Il était tellement sensuel, tellement frémissant, gémissant, presque suppliant, à et un moment ses murmures sont passés de sensuels et mignons à dégueulasse. Alors j'ai arrêté. Et il a eu l'air triste. Il était sur moi, on se tenait les mains et il a prit sa tête de petit chien battu. - Tu n'as plus envie de moi ? Sa façon de se comporter me mettais tellement mal à l'aise d'un seul coup. Il se comportait comme... Comme s'il était à moi, comme s'il ne vivait que pour ça, comme si... C'était tellement... Il a renchéri : - Tu aimais bien, cet après-midi. Tu faisais semblant ? Je ne t'attire pas vraiment ? Je me suis redressé et en guise de réponse, j'ai appuyé ma tête sur son ventre et je l'ai enlacé. - Je ne faisait pas semblant. C'était une merveilleuse après-midi mais... On est pas obligés de... On pourrait juste... S'enlacer.... Se caliner... Argh j'aime pas ce mot. Je ne sais pas. Je, j'ai pas envie qu'on couche ensemble, pour l'instant. Il avait l'air de le prendre tellement... Mal. Il s'est complètement défait de moi, il s'est allongé à coté de moi et s'est tourné sur le coté. - Je croyais que tu avais envie de moi. - Je croyais que tu voulais qu'on sorte ensemble. Il n'a rien répondu. J'ai enchainé : - Je suis désolé. J'ai envie, moi aussi. J'ai vraiment envie mais j'ai envie de prendre mon temps. Cet après-midi, sous la douche et dans ton lit, on était tellement bien. Te découvrir comme ça, c'était tellement beau... J'ai envie d'en profiter, pas de bruler les étapes. Et c'est pour ça que je ne voulais pas qu'on sorte ensemble si vite, je n'ai pas envie de bruler les étapes. J'ai envie de te connaître, j'ai envie d'être avec toi, j'ai envie... Je n'arrivais pas à croire qu'il avait ouvert autant de barrières chez moi en si peu de temps, pour que je suis capable de lui dire des choses pareilles alors que je n'avais jamais rien dit de ces choses là à personne. Je l'ai entendu renifler. J'ai passé mon bras autour de lui et je l'ai serré. Je ne savais pas pourquoi il était triste. Il a reniflé encore et il a dit d'une voix balbutiante : - C'est vrai que tu tiens à moi ? - Mais oui... Et parce que " Mais oui ", c'était moche, j'ai embrassé sa nuque et j'ai murmuré : - Je tiens à toi. Il a pleuré beaucoup plus d'un seul coup. Il s'est retourné, s'est blotti contre moi et il a chialé tout son soul pendant que je le serrais et que je lui faisais plein de petits bisous partout sur le visage. Au milieu de ses larmes, il m'a demandé : - Tu ne crois pas que c'est différent, aimer et tenir à quelqu'un ? - Si. Je crois que c'est différent. Mais je crois que tenir à quelqu'un c'est plus difficile, et plus profond. Parce que les gens disent très facilement je t'aime. Il a hoché la tête, il m'a enlacé plus fort. Je lui ai dit qu'il allait falloir qu'il s'en aille avant que mes parents rentrent, alors il m'a demandé si j'étais content qu'il soit venu et je lui ai dis que j'étais très heureux de pouvoir le serrer dans mes bras. Il m'a demandé si je voulais sortir avec lui, j'ai redis que je ne voulais pas que ça se sache, il m'a redit qu'on pourrait se cacher alors j'ai soupiré et j'ai dit : - Emmène moi diner quelque part, offre moi un truc genre... Un collier du seigneur des anneaux... Et je te dirais oui. - Il faut que je t'achète, t'es sérieux ? - T'as pas envie d'être un mec viril pendant dix minutes de ta vie ? Il a réfléchi et il a dit : - Vendu. Je l'ai chatouillé et il a rigolé. Il m'a chatouillé aussi et on a continué jusqu'à que les chatouilles deviennent des caresses et les rires des gémissements. Alors on a arrêté, on était fatigués tout les deux. Il était dans mes bras, je l'enlaçais. Il s'est endormi et on s'endormant il m'a murmuré : - Je t'aime. Alors j'ai répondu: - Je tiens à toi. Et l'on s'est endormi. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Poids : 64 kg. Ca me rend malade. Je ne sais pas si c'est l'amour qui fait manger ou j'sais pas quoi. Enfin si, je sais que c'est ça. Normalement l'été c'est la saison ou l'on ne mange que des salades bien fraiches et des fruits et tout ça du coup on ne grossit pas. Mais depuis que Sacha et moi on est ensemble... On mange tout le temps. Sacha est du genre petit et maigre alors j'ai tout le temps envie de lui faire la cuisine et de le nourrir et notre activité de ces quinze derniers jours ça a été de faire la cuisine encore et encore. C'est notre... Activité de couple. Parce qu'on est en couple. Il ne m'a pas offert de collier de seigneur des anneaux, parce que je lui ai dit qu'en vrai ça me gênerait et que je plaisantais, à ce moment là. A la place, il m'a invité à diner chez Nardone et on a mangé d'énormes assiettes de crèpes, de glace et de chantilly et il m'a demandé de sortir avec lui. J'ai dit oui. Voilà, fin. Bref, peu importe. Toujours est-il que Sasha arrive dans dix - cinq minutes, maintenant. Parce que demain c'est la rentrée scolaire et Elios fait toujours un genre de... Soirée pyjama ? La veille. Une soirée calme, sans alcools, avec ses amis les plus proches. Et on va tous en cours ensemble le lendemain. Cette année, à ma demande, il a invité Sasha. Il faut y aller en voiture et mon père nous dépose, du coup Sasha doit venir ici. Mais ce qui serait bien, c'est que l'on puisse parler avant. Parce que, j'ai dit à Elios et à Juliette que je sortais avec Sasha mais il n'y aura pas uniquement Juliette et Elios ce soir. J'espère que ça va bien se passer. Honnêtement, je ne suis pas sûr. Sasha est en retard. J'ai déjà vidé et re-rempli mon sac deux fois. Ça m'énerve. D'accord, il a exactement une minute quarante-cinq de retard. Mais même. Ah, le voilà. A plus. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- J'ai quand même tenu une heure sans sortir mon journal. Une heure à écouter mon nouveau professeur principal nous parler de tout un tas de truc, nous distribuer les carnets de correspondance, les emplois du temps et la liste des profs. Mais là, je craque. Mon lycée est privé et plein de cérémonials. Mon prof nous lit, je ne sais même pas, la déclaration des droits de l'homme, ou alors c'est le règlement. Ou la Princesse de Clèves. Je n'en ai aucune idée, je m'en fous. J'ai tourné la tête pour voir ou Sasha était assis, il me regardait et il m'a fait un clin d'œil. Il est mignon. J'ai l'impression qu'on va se faire chopper très vite et ça par contre ça me pose problème, mais c'est adorable. La voiture du père d'Elios nous a déposé à neuf heures et demi près du lycée, et on est allé s'acheter des pains au chocolats à la boulangerie qui est à l'angle du mur des Lyonnais. Ils sont super bons. Ensuite on est allé devant le lycée en trainant, trainant longuement et comme on avait le temps, Sasha et moi on s'est éclipsés pour aller se cacher dans un hall d'immeuble et s'embrasser à notre guise. Je viens de vérifier et il est encore en train de me regarder. Il se passe même la langue sur les lèvres. L'idiot. Il va falloir qu'on en parle. Merde j'ai mis plein d'encre partout. C'est parce qu'Elios regardait alors j'ai claqué mon journal et j'ai fait riper ma plume. Enfin bref. Ca s'est bien passé, hier. Vraiment bien. Je pensais que ça allait être horrible, honnêtement. Mais Sasha a beaucoup plu à mon père, j'ai l'impression. Il a été poli et, je ne savais pas si c'était pour mon père ou celui d'Elios, mais il était habillé différemment. Il était habillé comme... Comme un petit aristo bien élevé. En fait il était habillé comme Elios. En bermuda et en polo. C'était un peu bizarre, honnêtement. D'autant que comme ça, il avait l'air d'avoir quinze ans, pas dix-huit. Il était mieux habillés que moi, même par quarante degrés je ne met pas de short, encore moins de bermuda. Et... Elios et Juliette sont ensemble. Mes deux meilleurs amis ensemble, c'était un peu la blague de la soirée. Du coup, moi en couple avec Sacha, c'est passé tout seul. On n'en a pas trop... Parlé, du coup. C'était gênant des deux côtés, alors on a presque fait comme si on était tous célibataires. Enfin, on n'a pas fait couples. On a discuté, on a joué à Mario et à Just Dance sur la Wii avec les petites sœurs d'Elios, on a fait un barbecue au bord de la piscine, on a regardé des films. Voilà, quoi. Une soirée normale. La seule différence c'est qu'au moment d'aller se coucher, on a un petit peu redistribué les chambres. Je me suis retrouvé avec C'est fini. Bon finalement on a droit à un machin avec toute l'école mais c'est tellement chiant que j'ai aussitôt ressorti mon journal. Sasha essaye de lire par dessus mon épaule mais je le repousse. Mon prof principal me voit faire mais il ne dit rien. Ils ne sont pas tellement strictes, ici. Je me suis retrouvé avec Sasha dans le lit dans lequel on avait dormi pendant la fête, il y a près d'un an. Mais on n'a rien fait, rien du tout. Il m'a demandé : - Tu n'as pas envie de l'avoir fait ? Et j'ai dit : - Si. Mais je n'ai pas envie de le faire pour l'avoir fait. J'aime ne pas l'avoir encore fait. Il a renchérit : - On le fera ? J'ai posé plein de baisers sur son épaule nue contre la mienne. J'ai murmuré : - Bientôt. Ensuite il m'a dit qu'il m'aimait, qu'il était heureux d'être avec moi. On était bien, comme ça. Je crois que j'ai envie qu'il me prenne dans ses bras au milieu de la cour. Mais je sais qu'on ne peut pas et je sais que ça m'arrange. C'est fini cette fois. Lunch time ! ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Mes parents font leur habituelle crise de début d'année. Ils deviennent super présent et super strict, ils inspectent mes cahiers et me font réciter mes leçons. Ils sont à la maison quand je rentre, mon père cuisine équilibré, ma mère signe mon carnet. Je sais que ça ne va pas durer. Lundi, ils retournent tous les deux enseigner à Paris comme chaque année, et ils ne seront là que du jeudi matin au dimanche soir. Au début ils seront très présents pendant ces jours-là, mais au fur et à mesure ils me laisseront de plus en plus de liberté, jusqu'à mars prochain ou je serais à nouveau totalement autonome, pour ne pas dire livré à moi-même en permanence. Bon, cette année j'ai le bac et je pars faire le tour du monde avec Elios pendant l'été. Enfin, un truc du genre. J'ai le temps. Donc ça sera peut-être un peu différent. Du coup, je n'ai quasiment pas pu voir Sasha hors des cours, depuis la rentrée. En fait, je n'ai pas pu du tout. On a mangé ensemble tous les midis, mais neuf fois sur dix avec d'autres personnes de notre classe, et j'ai réussi à aller " travailler " deux soirs chez lui. Mais ce n'est pas grand-chose. Pour la première fois, j'ai vaguement hâte que mes parents s'en aille parce qu'il me manque. Et puis c'est... Frustrant. J'ai l'impression de ne pas aller très bien. J'ai cessé de me peser tous les jours, mais... Je ne sais pas comment dire. Je sens qu'il y a un truc qui ne va pas. Je suis angoissé sans savoir pourquoi. J'ai facilement mal au cœur. Je crois que c'est seulement le stress engendré par ma relation avec lui. Le fait que l'on se cache, que l'on fasse tous ces sous-entendus devant les autres souvent, c'est excitant mais parfois, ça me rend nerveux. Et puis, Sasha me rend nerveux. Sa façon d'attendre après moi, parfois. Je suis bien avec lui mais j'ai du mal. Bref. Ce n'est pas important. Encore un week-end à jouer les fils parfaits et tout rentrera dans l'ordre. Dimanche soir, dès que mes parents ont pris le train, je file dormir chez Sasha. Allez, j'y vais. On va au théâtre. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- ON L'A FAIT On-l'a-fait-on-l'a-fait-c'est-la-fête Je suis amoureux de Leo depuis un an, un mois et deux semaines environ. Et on vient de faire l'amour pour la première fois. C'était tellement long que c'était complètement ridicule. Et je ne dis pas que ce n'était pas bien mais pas de là à attendre UN AN UN MOIS ET DEUX SEMAINES Non mais sérieusement, quoi. 365 + 30 + 15 = 410 jours environ. Et même, notre premier baiser c'était... Bon, j'ai la flemme de chercher dans mon journal. Mais bref. C'était il y a longtemps. Je veux dire, j'ai déjà eu un temps NEGATIF entre le premier baiser et la première baise. Genre tu baises et tu t'embrasses après. J'ai bien changé depuis cette époque... On a fait l'amour... J'ai envie d'aller jeter de grandes mélodies sur mon violon mais il dort, là. Il est dans le lit et il dort. Moi j'ai eu une fringale post sex et je suis allé me bourrer l'estomac de trucs dans la cuisine, et écrire mon journal. Pour une fois que je ne me bourre pas l'estomac à défaut d'être chose. Ouais, je suis vulgaire, je sais. Pardon, mais je suis heureux. Prochaine étape : L'olympe ! Pardon. Prochaine étape : ... J'hésite. Le dire à tout le monde ou qu'il réponde autre chose que je sais et merci à mes je t'aime ? J'y réfléchirais plus tard. Je suis tellement heureux qu'on l'ai fait. Leo est un peu bizarre depuis quelques temps. Il s'énerve plus facilement plus d'habitude, il est tout le temps fatigué et il n'arrête pas de se faire mal. Il s'est ouvert le doigt en tapant dans un mur la semaine dernière et on a dû aller aux urgences pour qu'il ait des points de suture. J'ai cru qu'il ne voulait plus de moi, à un moment. Mais non. C'est arrivé un peu par hasard. On se câlinait, on est allé prendre notre douche ensemble et puis... C'est venu tout seul. Vraiment très agréable. Tout va s'arranger, maintenant. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- On va à la fête des lumières, ce soir. Leo et moi. Enfin, Leo et moi et Juliett et Elios et Pierre-Alexandre et Suzelle et... Toute la joyeuse bande de connards en puissance de ma classe. Honnêtement ? Ça me soule d'avance. Faire semblant de ne pas être ensembles, autant j'avais trouvé ça marrant au début, autant là... Moins. Beaucoup moins. Plus du tout, en fait. Mais Leo ne veut pas le dire, pas le dire du tout. Il dit que si un prof le sait, ça remontera à ses parents, et qu'alors ça sera la fin de tout. La fin de tout, sérieusement. C'est tellement... Abusé. On n'arrête pas de se disputer à ce sujet. D'autant que l'on passe la moitié de la semaine collés serrés et l'autre moitié à ne pas se voir du tout. Du dimanche soir au jeudi matin, quand ses parents sont à Paris, on est ensemble tout le temps. On dort chez l'un et chez l'autre, on cuisine ensemble... On fait, on rentre ensemble de cours et l'on retourne en cours ensemble le lendemain. On ne se lâche pas une minute. Et du jeudi matin au dimanche soir et bah... L'inverse. On ne se voit que pendant les cours. Et comme il refuse que l'on trouve un coin tranquille pour s'embrasser au lycée, et que l'on déjeuner avec le reste de la classe, et bah on ne se touche absolument pas du jeudi matin ou l'on sort de chez lui ou chez moi pour aller en cours jusqu'au dimanche soir ou l'on se rejoint également chez l'un ou chez l'autre. Ça me rend un peu dingue. Très honnêtement. Et là, passer la soirée près de lui en sachant qu'au mieux, je peux espérer un doux baiser quand il me raccompagnera - s'il le fait - ça me ... Donne mal au cœur. J'en suis au point où je me dis qu'il faudrait peut-être forcer le destin. Je ne sais pas si c'est une bonne idée. Mais j'y pense souvent. Je file. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Je suis en classe. Tout le monde se retourne pour me dévisager et quand ils en ont marre de me regarder avec leurs tête horrifiées, il se tourne pour regarder Leo. Ensuite, ils chuchotent sans aucune discrétion entre eux. On était que six de la classe à la fête des lumières vendredi, mais à 9h, tout le monde est au courant de tous les détails. Tout le monde pense que c'est Leo qui m'a fait le bleu que j'ai sur la pommette. Et... C'est aussi ce que lui pense. Je me déteste. Le cours se termine. Je reste au fond à griffonner dans mon journal. Je n'arrive pas à avancer, à me lever et à ranger mes affaires. Je regarde les gens passer devant Leo. J'en vois plusieurs qui le bousculent, qui sifflent des trucs. J'ai mal au ventre. Il reste dans la salle. Tout le monde sort, même notre prof et il est toujours tout devant et moi tout au fond. J'ai peur. Je crois que je vais vomir. On a parlé et je suis tellement paumé que je vais vomir. On n'est pas allé en cours, on est sorti, on est parti, on est allé s'asseoir sur le bord de la Saône et on est là, maintenant. On ne parle pas. On fait une pause du monde, on écrit tous les deux dans nos journaux intimes, cote à cote. On est connectés sans avoir besoin ni de se parler ni de se toucher. Quand on s'est retrouvé tout seul dans la classe, on est restés à ne rien dire pendant un moment, jusqu'à qu'il avance vers moi, la tête basse, les yeux fixés sur le sol, et qu'il s'arrête devant mon bureau en tripotant le zip de sa veste. Il a dit tout bas : - Je suis désolé. Et j'ai répondu : - Ce n'est pas toi qui a fait ça. Il a redressé la tête et je me suis rendu compte qu'il était au bord des larmes et que ses narines tremblaient. Je me suis senti encore plus bête. J'aurais dû lui dire plus tôt. Je ne sais pas comment, mais j'aurais dû. Il a essuyé ses yeux dans sa manche. - Comment ça ? - Ce n'est pas toi. J'ai pris un coup ce week-end. Celui que tu m'as mis vendredi il n'était pas fort du tout, sans compter que je l'avais mérité mais il n'était pas fort. Il ne m'aurait pas fait un bleu comme ça. Il a fondu en larmes. Je ne savais pas quoi faire, alors j'ai contourné mon bureau et je l'ai pris dans mes bras. Il s'est agrippé à moi et il m'a demandé pardon, de toutes ses forces il m'a demandé pardon et j'avais beau lui dire que ce n'était pas lui et que je ne lui en voulais pas pour vendredi il pleurait quand même et il a pleuré jusqu'à que je l'embrasse tout doucement. Il m'a laissé l'embrasser dans l'enceinte du lycée, dans une salle de classe alors qu'il y avait des élèves à quelques mètres et que je suis persuadé qu'on nous regardait par la vitre. Et je me suis senti tellement bête, parce que je l'avais voulu, non ? J'avais voulu qu'on puisse s'embrasser librement, mais je ne pensais pas que ça serait comme ça. Il a fini par se calmer. Il a touché ma pommette du bout des doigts et il a demandé dans un murmure : - Qui t'as fait ça ? Je lui ai dit que je ne voulais pas en parler pour l'instant. Alors il m'a pris la main et il m'a dit que si je voulais, on pouvait aller ailleurs et discuter de tout ce qui s'était passé depuis vendredi soir. Depuis que je l'avais embrassé par surprise devant tout le monde parce que je voulais que tout le monde le sache et qu'il m'avait mis un coup en essayant de me repousser. Alors on est sortis du lycée même si on avait cours. On a marché et on s'est installé là mais on se sentait tellement mal qu'on s'est regardé et on a compris tous les deux de quoi on avait besoin. Alors même s'il fait super froid, on est assis sur les espèces de transat du bord de Saône et on a sortis nos journaux pour écrire. Mais il a cessé d'écrire dans le sien depuis quelques minutes. Maintenant il m'enlace, la tête sur mon dos et il attend que je fasse quelque chose. Alors je vais lui parler. Même si j'ai envie de vomir. Je n'ai pas vomi. Mais je suis rentré chez moi. D'abord j'ai ramené Leo chez lui, je l'ai bordé dans son lit, je lui ai donné deux anxio et j'ai appelé Elios pour lui dire d'être là quand ils ne feraient plus effet, parce que Leo n'est pas en état d'être tout seul. Et je ne peux pas resté avec lui. Bon, dans les faits, je suis resté une heure chez lui après qu'il se soit endormi. Et avant de partir, j'ai ouvert son journal et j'y ai laissé un mot. Maintenant je suis chez moi. Et je me sens vide. J'imagine que c'est souvent ce qu'on ressent quand on se fait larguer. Ou quand on largue quelqu'un. Je n'ai pas très bien compris, en fait. Vendredi soir, au milieu de la foule, des illuminations, de ses amis, alors qu'il avait discrètement pris ma main dans la foule et qu'il me souriait, alors qu'il me regardait au lieu de regarder les illuminations, j'ai craqué. Je me suis rué dans ses bras et je l'ai embrassé. Il a paniqué, m'a repoussé violemment et sans vraiment le vouloir, il m'a mis un coup. Il a cherché à me mettre un coup, ce n'était pas un accident. Mais il ne le voulait pas vraiment. Il était mal, il a mal réagi. Et puis il ne m'a pas fait mal. C'était juste un petit coup. Mais je me suis senti humilié, et je lui ai crié dessus des trucs pas gentils. Auxquels il a répondu. On s'est engueulé devant tout le monde, et on s'est séparés comme ça. Pas séparés séparés, juste, je suis rentré chez moi et lui il est allé dormir chez Juliette, je crois. Mais quand je suis rentré chez moi, j'ai fait une connerie. J'aurais dû l'appeler pour lui dire pardon mais je n'y arrivais pas. J'étais en colère. J'avais toute cette rancœur qui sortait d'un coup, j'avais l'impression d'être un amoureux de roman au cœur blessé. Alors j'ai mis mon tee-shirt au col le plus échancré, mon slim le plus moulant, j'ai éteint mon portable et je suis allé dans la boite la plus glauque dégeulasse que je connaissais. Et j'ai tout cassé autour de moi. Si ça avait été une bibliothèque, j'en aurais renversé chaque étagère et déchiré chaque livre. C'est moi que j'ai déchiré. Je me trainais, c'était horrible. Samedi après-midi, j'ai émergé et quand je me suis rendu compte qu'il n'y avait pas un, pas deux, mais trois personnes DONT UNE FILLE dans mon lit, j'ai hésité entre m'ouvrir les veines et supplier pour de la coke qui fait oublier et j'ai choisi la coke qui fait oublier. Pardon, je voulais dire la poudre magique qui fait oublier. Du coup, je suis retombé dans l'inconscience et je crois que j'ai passé le week-end le plus débauché de mon existence. Et dimanche soir, un mec m'a mis une droite. Je ne sais même plus pourquoi, mais je crois que c'est moi qui lui ai demandé. Je crois que j'étais sur lui et que je lui ai dit " Frappe moi de toutes tes forces " Il en avait beaucoup, l'enculé. Non pardon, c'est moi l'enculé. Bref. Et là, sur les bords de Saône, j'ai tout dit à Leo. Tout. Et je n'arrivais pas à édulcorer, je ne pouvais pas. Je ne pouvais pas. Il est resté à m'écouter pendant que je dégueulais chaque détail. Il est resté près de moi pendant que je racontais absolument tout alors que tout était horrible et je crois que pour la première fois, je me suis rendu compte que j'allais mal. Vraiment très mal. Pour faire des choses pareilles, je me suis rendu compte que je n'étais pas heureux. J'aurais voulu qu'il m'aide. Mais Leo... Il a plongé. Depuis plusieurs semaines, il a plongé. Il ne peut pas m'aider. Je ne peux pas l'aider. Et il pouvait pas supporter d'entendre tout le mal que je me faisais, tout ce que je me haïssais, il pouvait pas l'entendre et moi je ne pouvais pas supporter non plus qu'il soit aussi mal tout le temps, aussi fermé, je pensais que ça allait s'arranger mais il plongeait alors a décidé qu'on ne voulait pas plonger à deux et qu'il fallait qu'on arrête là. Je l'ai ramené, je suis rentré, et là je vais prendre deux somnifères et quand je vais me réveiller, ça n'aura été qu'un cauchemar. D'accord ? D'accord. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- J'ai eu un petit accident. J'ai brulé mon journal et je me suis accidentellement brulé la main au passage. Donc j'ai dû en acheter un nouveau. C'est Elios qui est allé me l'acheter sur mes instructions précises. J'ai dû bruler mon journal parce que Sasha, mon ex petit ami, l'a touché. Il l'a ouvert, il l'a lu et il a écrit dedans. Alors j'ai dû le bruler. D'accord. Je n'avais pas besoin de le bruler. Quand je m'en suis rendu compte, j'ai eu mal au cœur et j'ai foutu mon journal dans un coin. Je l'ai détesté d'avoir fait ça. Il n'avait pas le droit. Il m'avait fait très mal et ensuite il m'a privé de mon journal, de mon seul moyen de me calmer. C'était dégeulasse de sa part. J'ai tenu deux jours sans mon journal. C'était un cauchemar. Il y avait ce bout de moi tellement intime et il l'avait touché. Il trainait dans un coin de ma chambre comme une plante carnivore. Pendant deux jours, je ne pouvais pas aller en cours non plus. Le voir, c'était au-dessus de mes forces. Alors mercredi dernier, après deux jours, j'ai passé un long moment à jouer avec le coupe papier en ivoire qui est dans la bibliothèque. Et puis j'ai joué sur ma peau. J'ai changé d'encre. De couleur. Le lendemain, j'ai pu retourner en cours. Je pouvais regarder à travers lui. Je pouvais m'en foutre. J'étais entouré de murs imprenables. Rouge, l'encre. Toute la semaine. Rouge. Mais aujourd'hui, à midi, alors qu'on sortait pour aller déjeuner, il y avait un mec à la sortie. Grand, basané, viril. Très beau yeux, air vulgaire. Sasha lui a sauté dans les bras et ils se sont embrassés comme s'ils allaient baiser sur la chaussée. Je suis rentré chez moi, j'ai brulé mon journal, j'ai fait des cloques sur mes doigts, Elios m'a emmené aux urgences et pendant que je somnolais dans un lit, il est allé m'acheter un nouveau journal. Il est au téléphone avec mon père, à l'accueil, en train de remplir les papiers. Ensuite il va me ramener. Plus rien ne seras jamais pareil. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Sacha me manque. J'ai cessé de me peser tous les matins, j'ai recommencé à bien manger. Je veux dire, depuis cet été, pas dans les trois derniers jours. Je le sais parce qu'hier je suis allé chez le médecin, il m'a pesé et je fais 67kg. C'est six de plus qu'avant, mais je reste plus mince que la moyenne donc c'est bien. Je suis moins maigrichon. Le médecin était content. Quand il m'a refait mon bandage à la main et qu'il a vu les cicatrices toutes neuves sur mon poignet, il était moins content. Il m'a demandé si je voulais en parler et j'ai dit que je m'étais fait larguer et que j'avais été très malheureux mais que ça allait. Il n'a pas insisté. Il me connaît, il sait que ce n'est pas très utile. Sacha me manque. Je le déteste tellement, mais il me manque, il me manque tellement. Je l'aime. Je crois que pendant un moment, c'était comme quelque chose de pas vrai, nous. C'était ce truc bizarre qui était arrivé ou ce garçon qui était fou de moi avait réussi son truc et moi j'étais là et ça me plaisait bien et je laissais faire. Et puis non, ce n'est pas ça, finalement. Je l'aime, c'est ça le truc. Je l'aime. Et il me manque. Mes parents voient très bien que je suis mal. Ils me gardent avec eux, ils font attention à moi. Ils sont en vacances et on prépare Noël tous les trois, on fait des courses de Noël et la cuisine. C'est chouette. Mais Sasha me manque et mon père me dit que les amis se disputent mais que ça passe. Et je ne peux pas lui dire " Papa il m'a trompé avec il ne sait même pas combien de personne ", " Papa, il m'a dit que j'étais trop malheureux et qu'il ne le supportait pas ". Sasha me manque mais son petit ami est venu le chercher tous les soirs et l'a ramené tous les matins. J'en ai envie de vomir. Et Sasha n'arrête pas de sourire à son téléphone toute la journée. Et je l'ai entendu dire je t'aime à son amoureux devant la porte. Et il a l'air heureux. J'ai l'impression que c'est une vaste blague. Ca ne peut pas être vrai. Ca y est, je l'aime. Lui il m'aime plus Elios va au marché de Noël avec ses sœurs et ses cousines. J'y vais avec lui. A plus. Je me suis assis sur le bord de la fontaine pour écrire. Ca me soule le marché de Noël. Elios veut qu'on aille tous manger des sushis. Je n'ai pas faim. Mon dieu je viens de manger tellement de sushis que j'ai mal au ventre. Mais je ne peux pas m'arrêter, c'est l'excitation. Et quand Sasha a posé sa main sur ma cuisse et m'a dit d'aller doucement sinon j'allais être malade, j'ai été tellement heureux que j'ai pris sa main dans la mienne et je l'ai regardé comme si c'était l'amour de ma vie et ensuite j'ai couru aux toilettes pour écrire parce que je me sentais trop bête. Je ne suis pas vraiment dans les toilettes en fait, mais dans le passage vers la cuisine. Je gène les serveurs mais j'ai trop besoin d'écrire et d'effacer le sourire d'imbécile heureux qu'il y a sur mon visage. Au marché de Noël, on a croisé Sasha et son copain. J'étais avec Elios et tout ça alors ça a été très... Civil. Genre ah bah voilà mon copain il s'appelle Gabriel, salut Gabriel blablabla et le mec avait les mains dans les poches arrières de Sasha et ils s'embrassaient et Gabriel tirait sur le bonnet de Sasha et ils faisaient COUPLE mais COUPLE c'était écœurant. En fait ils n'étaient là que parce que Gabriel prenait un train pour je ne sais pas ou à la gare juste derrière et quand on a recroisé Sasha tout seul juste après, on l'a invité à manger avec nous. Enfin... ELIOS l'a invité. Et il est assis à côté de moi et on parle de tout de rien et c'est horrible parce que je lui en VEUX TELLEMENT mais j'ai aussi TELLEMENT envie de passer l'éponge sur tout ce qu'il voudra et de lui dire que je l'aime, je l'aime, je le déteste mais je l'aime. Il faut que je le vois. Il ne peut pas rentrer tout seul, il ne peut pas me dire non, il ne peut pas.... J'ai besoin de lui, de ses bras, je ne sais pas. J'y retourne. On est chez Sasha. Il doit être au moins 23h. On est passé au petit monoprix acheter ce qu'il fallait pour faire des cookies. J'avais dit à mes parents que je dormais chez Elios de toute façon. Il me couvrira. Sasha m'a dit de l'attendre deux minutes mais de toute façon je ne veux pas aller dans sa chambre parce que son mec vit ici maintenant il me l'a dit. J'écris vite sur le coin du bar avant qu'il ne revienne et qu'on fasse des cookies. Je suis dans mon lit. Il est deux heures du matin. Il va falloir que j'explique ça à mes parents demain mais ça devrait aller. On a fait des cookies. Pendant qu'il faisait des petits tas de pates sur le papier sulfurisé, j'ai passé mes bras autour de sa taille et je l'ai embrassé dans le cou. Tout doucement. Il a tourné la tête. On s'est regardé un moment mais on ne s'est pas embrassé. J'avais envie, mais on ne l'a pas fait. Pendant qu'ils cuisaient, on s'est assis par terre devant le four. On s'est donné la main. On n'a presque rien dit. Il m'a dit que Gabriel c'était le mec qui l'avait frappé dimanche et que quand il était rentré lundi après m'avoir bordé dans mon lit avec des médocs, Gabriel était venu sonner chez lui. Et qu'il avait vidé tout son sac dans ses bras et que Gabriel était resté. Que c'était un skateur, un obsédé et qu'il était violent. Mais qu'il était là et qu'il prenait soin de lui et qu'ils aimaient les mêmes choses, la baise et la niaiserie mélangés. A un moment je lui ai dit " Je t'en supplie arrête de parler " Alors il a arrêté. Quand les cookies ont été prêts, il les a mis sur une assiette et il m'en a donné un. Il m'a dit : - N'en mange qu'un seul. Sinon tu vas être malade. Je vais les manger. - Tu me manques. - Je vais les mettre dans une boite je les amènerais à mon père, je rentre en Suisse pour Noel. - Tu me manques, Sasha. - Ce ne sont pas vraiment des biscuits de Noel mais ce n'est pas important. - C'est atroce ce que tu me manques. - De toute façon je n'aime pas Noël. - Je veux que tu reviennes. Je te pardonne tout ce que tu voudras, on oublie tout mais reviens. S'il te plait, reviens. - Je suis avec Gabriel maintenant. Alors je suis parti. Je suis rentré et là je ne peux pas dormir. J'ai l'impression que je ne dormirais plus jamais. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Sasha : Hey Leo : Hey. Je n'arrive pas à dormir. Sasha : Moi non plus. Sasha : Tu as un nouveau journal ? Leo : Oui. Sasha : Tu avais fini l'ancien ? Leo : Non. Leo : Tu avais écris dedans. Sasha : Je suis désolé. Je n'aurais pas du. Leo : Je l'ai brulé. Sasha est en train d'écrire. Sasha : Pardon ? Leo : Tu as touché mon journal. Tu as écris dedans. Ca m'a rendu malade. Alors je l'ai brulé. C'est comme ça que me suis brulé la main. Sasha s'est déconnecté. Leo : Connard. Le message suivant n'a pas pu être transmis : " Connard. ". Leo : Triple connard. Le message suivant n'a pas pu être transmis : " Triple connard. ". ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Leo : Tu ne dors pas. Sasha est en train d'écrire. Leo : Je vois la lumière allumée. Elle ne l'avait pas été en pleine nuit depuis des jours. Je le sais, je me réveille en pleine nuit toutes les nuits et je vais toujours regarder à la fenêtre si tu dors. Ca fait des mois que je fais ça. Sasha est en train d'écrire : Leo : Tu dois te sentir seul. Tu as toujours autant de mal à dormir seul, n'est-ce pas. Sasha est en train d'écrire. Leo : Comment tu peux dire je t'aime à ce type que tu connais depuis deux semaines. Comment tu peux lui dire devant moi. Sasha : Tais-toi. Leo : Je t'emmerde. Comment tu peux me faire ça. Sasha : Tu ne comprends rien. Leo : Je ne comprends rien ? Tu te fous de ma gueule ? Leo : Je n'arrive pas à croire que t'arrives à jouer la pute et la vierge effarouchée en même temps. T'es le pire manipulateur que j'ai jamais vu. Sasha est en train d'écrire. Leo : Tu passes ton temps à tout casser autour de toi, à t'allonger n'importe où, à te laisser faire, à t'envoyer à l'air à travers les autres et les trucs que tu prends, t'es une loque, tu ne tiens pas debout, t'es à peine humain. Leo : T'es toujours tout seul dans ton appartement trop grand et tu t'entoures de tous ces gens qui veulent ton fric ou tes fesses mais rien d'autre et t'es encore plus seul alors tu te fais mal, mal, mal pour oublier que t'es rien, que tu ne ressembles plus à rien, que tu vas en crever et même ça t'arrangerais. Leo : Et au milieu de tout ce vice que tu crées tu continues de te conduire comme si tout était beau alors que tout est dégeulasse, au milieu de ton monde en ruine tu continues de dire que tu es amoureux, tu continues à t'extasier, mais comment tu peux croire à tes propres mensonges. Leo : Tu détruis tout, tout ce qui est autour de toi tu le réduis en cendre pour pouvoir te coucher au milieu et pleurer comme une victime mais c'est toi qui a mis le feu aux poudres, c'est toi qui a déconné, t'as que ce que tu mérites. Leo : T'as pas de cœur. Leo : T'as pris le mien pour le mettre à la place du trou que t'as dans la poitrine. Leo : Mais ça n'a pas marché. Leo : Et maintenant, je n'en ai plus non plus. Sasha s'est déconnecté. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Joyeux Noël, bande de connards. Je n'ai même pas bu. Même pas couché avec le fils du meilleur ami de mon père, qui est un peu étonné parce que je me jette sur lui à chaque fois que je le vois. Rien pris. Bon, j'écris ça pendant que Lucas - le fils du meilleur ami de mon père qui ne m'a pas sauté et qui ne comprends pas pourquoi mais qui n'en fait pas toute une histoire parce que c'est un chic type - roule un joint, donc... Mais un joint, ça ne compte pas. Là c'est vraiment... C'est rien et c'est vital à la fois. Je suis allongé sur son lit à écrire et à côté de moi il y a mon ordinateur ouvert sur la page Facebook de Leo. Et sur mon portable, il y a la page des sms de Gabriel et on discute depuis un moment donc mon portable vibre presque toutes les trente secondes. Et en même temps Lucas me parle et je réponds. Je suis totalement multitâche. Une vraie meuf. Lucas n'est pas gay. Il a une copine, une fille hyper bien élevée qui fait de l'équitation et avec laquelle je joue du violon quand je la croise (elle fait de la harpe. De la HARPE, quoi). Je suis son seul écart. On se connaît depuis qu'on est bébé, on se voit deux, trois fois par ans et on a découvert les joies du porno, de la branlette et du sexe en général ensemble, dans le chalet d'un de nos pères, à Noël il y a au moins six ans. Comme qui dirait, apprendre à faire des pipes ensembles ça vous forge une amitié. Pardon, je suis glauque. Il me tend le joint mais je lui fais signe que ce n'est pas comme ça que je le veux. Alors il fourre sa main dans mes cheveux et me souffle la fumée entre les lèvres. C'est toujours meilleur comme ça. Je crois que Lucas est mon meilleur ami, parce que qu'il est probablement mon seul ami. On ne se téléphone jamais sauf quand l'un de nous est dans le pays de l'autre et que l'on veut se voir. On ne s'envoie pas de mails, de texto, on ne prend pas de nouvelles l'un de l'autre. Mais c'est la seule personne en laquelle j'ai confiance. Il veut savoir ce qui se passe. Je vais claquer mon ordi et lui expliquer. Lucas est sorti pour voir sa copine. Elle fête Noël avec sa famille, mais c'est à dix minutes. On vient d'ouvrir nos cadeaux, mon père est en train de discuter avec celui de Lucas et je suis blotti près de lui sur le canapé. Il a passé son bras autour de mes épaules. Je suis bien. J'aime énormément mon père. Je ne peux pas rester avec lui parce qu'il voyage tout le temps et que c'est trop dur. Je l'ai fait pendant un an, je l'ai suivi partout en bossant avec le CNED mais... Ça ne marchait vraiment pas. Et je n'avais pas d'amis, c'était dur. Du coup, on a arrêté. Mais je ne le vois pas souvent. Il me manque. J'ai tout raconté à Lucas. Que j'étais tombé amoureux de Leo, que j'avais tout gâché, que j'avais rencontré Gabriel et que je lui avais sauté dans les bras pour ne pas être seul, mais que le temps que je réalise que c'était un vrai con, il avait eu le temps de coller son cul chez moi et de m'extorquer ma deuxième clé. Et que maintenant je me sentais comme un con et que je n'osais pas le virer parce que c'était une sale petite brute. Je lui ai expliqué tout ça, j'ai pleuré un coup pendant qu'il me serrait dans ses bras et qu'il m'embrassait dans le cou. C'était agréable. J'étais triste mais j'étais bien. Dans sa chambre de Suisse, avec la vue sur les montagnes, la neige, la chaleur, la fourrure blanche par terre et puis Lucas, je l'aime bien. Si on habitait dans la même ville, je me laisserais aller à être très amoureux de lui. Je ne sais pas s'il pourrait me supporter longtemps, mais j'essayerais. Ah, le voilà. On est à nouveau dans sa chambre. On regarde un film. Histoires de sexe, d'Ovidie. Ce n'est pas un porno, c'est un film bizarre et assez nul SUR le porno. C'est genre, le porno des gens normaux. Enfin la sexualité des gens normaux, vu par Ovidie. Sauf qu'Ovidie, elle ne connaît pas les mêmes gens normaux que moi. (je ne me considère pas comme une personne "normale", du point de vue de la sexualité.) Lucas est couché contre moi. Il a l'air de s'ennuyer. En fait c'est bizarre d'être là avec lui sans qu'on fasse des trucs. Enfin, ce n'est pas habituel. C'est comme si on avait rien à se dire et, ce n'est pas vraiment grave parce qu'on peut apprécier beaucoup une personne sans rien avoir à lui dire mais... Je ne sais pas. Je crois que... J'ai une idée. Lucas est vraiment un amour. Il est déjà seize heures. On a dormi après. Il faudrait que je me lève et qu'on fasse autre chose, qu'on sorte, je ne sais pas. On était en train de regarder Histoire de Sexe et c'était nul et je lui ai demandé de but en blanc : - Tu ne veux pas qu'on fasse l'amour ? Alors il m'a répondu : - Tu t'es cru dans Lol ? Et je me suis rappelé que c'est l'une des répliques de Lola, dans le film. J'ai haussé les épaules et il a passé son bras autour de ma taille. - Bah si, je veux. C'est toi qui ne veux pas. - Non mais, qu'on fasse l'amour. Pas qu'on couche ensemble. Qu'on fasse l'amour. Il m'a regardé super bizarrement pendant au moins trois secondes. Ensuite il a posé son ordi par terre, il a pris mon visage entre ses mains et il m'a embrassé. Et après on a fait l'amour. Mais vraiment, vraiment tout doucement; Tranquillement. Délicatement. Il est allé monter le chauffage, on s'est enfouis sous la couette et au lieu de faire comme d'habitude, de faire les cons, de rigoler, de continuer à parler de nos vies tout en nous envoyant en l'air, on a fait tout l'inverse. On n'a presque pas parlé. On s'est embrassés, on s'est fait des caresses partout et on fait l'amour vraiment très tranquillement. Il est même allé mettre de la musique avant. On a pris notre temps, on s'est serré fort et quand ça a été fini, quand je me suis blotti dans ses bras, il m'a dit je t'aime, tu sais, je t'aime vraiment beaucoup Sasha. Et je me suis senti tellement bien, mieux qu'avec de la drogue de l'alcool de la baise, mieux qu'avec tous les mecs dans les boites et mieux qu'avec Leo parce que je n'avais pas l'impression de jouer un rôle ou de ne pas être à la hauteur. On a dormi plusieurs heures, bien au chaud serrés l'un contre l'autre comme des petits oisillons. Et je crois que c'est ça, dont j'ai besoin. Pour être heureux. Je n'ai pas besoin de me déchirer en petits morceaux comme Leo me l'a dit. Je n'ai pas besoin d'être cette personne. J'ai juste besoin que l'on m'entoure de chaleurs et de caresses. Je peux me passer de tout le reste. Je peux être complètement clean. Me défaire de tout ce qui ne va pas, être fort. Je peux y arriver si j'ai quelqu'un à mes côtés pour me réchauffer et m'aimer. Je peux le faire. Il faut seulement qu'il y ait ce quelqu'un. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Je suis allongé en tee-shirt sur la tombe de Thibault et j'envisage d'y mourir. C'est le pire Noël de ma vie. Même le premier après sa mort n'était pas aussi horrible. Je suis venu ici en courant, pieds nus et en tee-shirt. J'ai du mal à écrire parce qu'il fait encore nuit. Et aussi parce que je suis allongée sur sa tombe couverte de neige, qu'il fait -1 degré, que je suis pieds nus et en tee-shirt et que c'est tout juste si mon corps tremble, tellement il fait froid. Il serait plutôt en train de solidifier. Mes doigts ont l'air bleu, dans la pénombre, et je pense que le reste aussi. C'est très facile de mourir de froid. De tomber en hypothermie. C'est très facile. Je le sais, je me suis renseigné avant. Je ne suis pas du genre à me lancer dans un truc à la légère. C'est le matin de Noël, mon corps est une grande gerçure, je suis allongé sur la tombe de Thibault avec mon journal et j'ai l'impression que mon cerveau se détache et se réduit en pièces. C'est le froid. J'ai très froid. J'ai été amoureux deux fois, une fois de Thibault et une fois de Sasha. J'ai été amoureux deux fois et c'est une de trop. Après Thibault, il ne devait pas y avoir quelqu'un d'autre. Parce qu'il était mort et que la mort est un couperet, elle réduit au silence le reste, elle jette un voile sur les sentiments. A aimer un mort, il devient interdit d'aimer un vivant par la suite. Parce que la maladie est contagieuse. Mais j'ai perdu, j'ai aimé Sasha. Au tour de Sasha d'aimer un mort. La mort ne vient pas. J'ai seulement très froid. Je tremble isj jfoirt nnje nkeoux pas écrie jenne je ne peux pas écri Je me suis réveillé à l'hôpital. Je me suis encore foiré, je n'arrive pas à croire. Je n'y arriverais jamais, c'est pas vrai. L'hypothermie c'était peut-être une idée un peu nulle, aussi. Mon père était assis sur une chaine près du lit, quand je me suis réveillé. Les bras croisés. Il n'avait pas l'air très inquiet. Mon père est extrêmement maitre de ses émotions, au point d'avoir l'air indifférent au monde qui l'entoure, parfois. Il m'a dit : - Tu sais, on allait y aller, sur sa tombe. Tu aurais pu attendre. Ce n'était pas très drôle et je n'avais pas envie de sourire, mais ça faisait du bien quand même. J'étais entouré de tout ces trucs, j'avais une perfusion, des machins dans la gorge et je ne me sentais pas bien du tout. Il a sonné une infirmière, vu que je m'étais réveillé. Avant de partir pour qu'elle ne s'occupe de moi, il s'est penché, a embrassé ma joue et a murmuré : - J'ai déjà perdu un fils. Ne fais plus ça, Leo. Je ne vais jamais y arriver si tu pars aussi. Ensuite il y a eu des soins, ensuite un psy à qui j'ai tourné le dos parce que je préférais franchement dormir, et puis un médecin avec lequel j'ai discuté de comment ça marchait l'hypothermie parce que c'était très intéressant. Ensuite ils ont voulu me garder pour la nuit parce que j'avais fait une tentative de suicide mais je leur ai dit que c'était même pas en rêve. Du coup mon père rempli des papiers pour que je puisse sortir et en attendant je remplis mon journal qu'il m'a apporté. Je suis dans la voiture, roulé en boule à l'arrière, je fais semblant de dormir. J'ai pas envie d'en parler et mon père non plus. En plus, c'est Noël. C'est Noël... Sasha n'aimerait pas un mort, finalement. Peut-être qu'il faut que je fasse quelque chose pour qu'il m'aime vivant. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Leo : Je voudrais m'excuser. ce message a été supprimé Leo : Je voudrais te demander pardon pour les horreurs que j'ai dites il y a quelque chose. Je n'étais pas bien du tout et j'ai vidé ma colère sur toi. Je n'aurais pas du faire ça. Sasha : Excuses acceptées. Leo : Je voulais te dire que tu me manquais. Pas seulement parce que l'on n'est plus ensemble mais ta présence. Le simple fait de savoir que tu es de l'autre coté du pont, ça me manque. Sasha : Tu me manques aussi. Leo est en train d'écrire. Leo : Je ne sais pas quoi dire. Sasha : Je vais faire une fête pour le nouvel an. Leo : D'accord. Sasha : Tu veux venir ? Leo : Qui il y aura ? Sasha : Personne de la classe. Personne que tu connais. Sasha : Tu veux venir ? Leo : Je peux y réfléchir ? Sasha : Oui. Leo : Je vais y réfléchir. Sasha : Je vais en boite. Bonne soirée. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- J'ai rendez-vous avec Sasha pour discuter. J'ai tellement mal au ventre, c'est horrible. Je suis enroulé dans ma serviette de toilette, complètement sec mais y a rien à faire, je ne sais pas comment m'habiller. Mon père vient de faire du repassage mais j'ai bousillé la majeure partie de son travail en essayant quasiment tout parce que je ne savais pas quoi porter. Je ne sais pas ce qu'il veut me dire, alors je ne peux pas m'habiller en circonstances. Je ne sais pas ce qu'il veut de moi. Je ne sais pas quoi penser je me sens trop... Mal. Tellement mal. Il rentre de Suisse, il sera chez lui d'ici dix minutes et je dois le retrouver chez Wallace dans une demie-heure. Ce n'est pas vraiment l'endroit pour boire un café mais c'est là que l'on va toujours. Et demain soir, je vais à la fête de nouvel an qu'il organise. Je ne le sens tellement, tellement pas. Bon. Un jean. Noir. Une chemise ? Qu'est-ce que je dois jouer ? Qu'est-ce que je dois faire ? Et merde. Voilà, je suis à nouveau chez Sasha. Je ne sais pas ce que je fous là. Il fait très froid, mais je suis sorti sur la terrasse, et j'écris à la petite table en fer forgé. Parce que la terrasse, c'est le seul endroit de l'appartement qui a l'air intact. Je n'arrive pas à croire qu'en si peu de jours, le petit ami de Sasha ai pris autant de place. J'ai passé près de trois mois à squatter ici trois jours par semaine et je n'ai jamais laissé plus que quelques affaires. Mais lui... Le pire, c'est son odeur. Alors qu'il n'a pas mis les pieds ici depuis une semaine. Je ne sens que ça. Son parfum. Un truc super lourd, genre Axe. C'est horrible, ça me donne mal au cœur. Toute la chambre sent ça. Cette chambre ou j'ai été tellement heureux et je crois que je ne me rendais pas compte à quel point c'était précieux. Ces draps blancs ou on a passé autant d'heures. Il y a quelque chose de glacial sur mes joues. Je crois que ce sont des larmes. C'était bien des larmes. Mais Sasha les a embrassées et ses lèvres étaient chaudes. J'ai pleuré deux fois plus. Je suis chez moi, là. Parce que le copain de Sasha est arrivé. On s'était donné rendez vous à Wallace et on y a bu des chocolats chauds. On était bien. Il était tellement beau. Il avait quelque chose de différent. De plus doux. De plus calme. Quelque chose avait changé chez lui. Quand je l'ai vu j'ai eu comme une bouffée de chaleur. J'aurais voulu lui dire je t'aime. Mais à part à mon lapin, je ne l'avais jamais dit à personne. Je ne l'avais jamais plus dit à personne. On a parlé et ça ne semblait pas réel. - Tu as passé un joyeux Noël ? - Pas du tout. - Le mien était très bien. J'étais en Suisse. J'ai fait du ski avec mon meilleur ami. On a beaucoup discuté. Ca m'a remit les idées en place. J'ai posé ma main sur la table à ce moment là. Il l'a effleuré doucement avant de soulever sa tasse. Il a bu. Et puis il m'a dit : - Je n'aime pas Gabriel. Je ne l'aime pas du tout. Mais pour l'instant, il me fait du bien. Je ne vais pas bien et j'ai besoin d'être avec quelqu'un qui va bien et qui peut s'occuper de moi. J'avais froid. Depuis que j'ai fait de l'hypothermie, j'ai tout le temps froid. Je voulais lui dire que j'avais besoin de lui mais il le savait. Il le savait très bien. Il a reposé sa tasse et sa main contre la mienne, pour pouvoir la caresser délicatement du bout des doigts. - Tu me manques. Mais tu vas très mal. Et pour l'instant je n'ai pas le courage. Ce n'était pas juste. Je ne pouvais même pas lui dire à quel point j'avais mal. Je ne pouvais pas lui dire ce qui c'était passé. Je ne pouvais rien faire. Je ne voulais pas entendre des choses telles que " Je suis ton ami ". J'ai seulement baissé la tête. Ensuite il m'a dit : - Est ce que tu veux passer chez moi ? Un peu ? Et puis demain, si tu veux bien, tu pourrais m'aider à préparer, pour la fête. Comme ça on pourrait passer un peu de temps tous les deux. D'accord ? On est allés chez lui. Son portable a sonné et il m'a laissé dans la chambre pour répondre. Je suis sorti pour écrire. Je me suis mis à pleurer et il est venu me prendre mon journal et embrasser mes larmes. Je ne voulais pas aller dans la chambre, je craquais complètement, je me sentais trop mal, il me manquait. Je l'ai serré convulsivement dans mes bras et quand il a murmuré : " je t'aime... " contre mes cheveux, j'ai redoublé de larmes. C'était trop nul. Mais je le comprenais. Moi non plus je n'avais pas envie de sortir avec moi. Moi non plus je n'avais pas envie de prendre soin d'une personne capable d'essayer de se suicider par hypothermie. J'ai cherché ses lèvres et il m'a embrassé. Au milieu du couloir qui allait à la cuisine, on s'est embrassé, doucement, terriblement, passionnément, pendant que je tremblais et pleurais, on s'est embrassé. Jusqu'à que l'en entende le bruit dans la serrure et qu'une pierre tombe au fond de mon estomac parce que son copain avait carrément les clés. Je suis parti. Je suis rentré chez moi. J'ai envie de pleurer. Et j'ai très froid. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- J'ai dit à Gabriel que la pièce là-haut n'était qu'un grenier sans intérêt. Je ne voulais pas qu'il aille dans ma salle de jeux. Il n'y a que Leo qui y soit allé. Il n'y a qu'avec Leo que j'ai passé des heures là-haut à faire des constructions en lego et en kapla comme un bébé. Je n'ai pas envie que ça change, je n'ai pas envie de briser quelque chose de plus. J'y suis, là. Roulé en boule sur le canapé, avec la lumière qui passe par le velux. Pas beaucoup de lumière. Il est seize heures trente, il fera bientôt nuit. Il faut que j'aille faire des courses et que je cuisine parce que la fête est chez moi et que je n'ai pas envie qu'on mange des chips et de la pizza. Il faut que je prépare. Ça aurait pu être tellement bien, avec Leo. On aurait fait la cuisine tous les deux, on aurait été bien. Gabriel n'en a rien à foutre. Il est dans MON salon en train de jouer sur MA console avec ses potes débilos. Je ne sais pas comment je me suis retrouvé dans cette situation. Mais honnêtement... C'est un peu flippant. Je ne sais pas comment je vais le virer. Si Leo était là... Leo sera là ce soir. Je ne sais pas si c'est une bonne idée. Elle a l'air plutôt nul, à vrai dire. Mais... Je ne sais pas. Je vais y aller. Sinon ça ne sera jamais près pour 20h. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Il est 20h20. Ça fait 20 min que je devrais être chez Sasha. Mais je suis allongé dans mon lit, je n'ai pas encore pris ma douche et j'hésite toujours à rester. Mes parents reçoivent, je pourrais très bien passer la soirée ici. Quand je suis allé me chercher un verre d'eau tout à l'heure, ma mère me l'a encore proposé. Elle m'a dit qu'il y avait des noix de St Jacques et... J'adore les noix de St-Jacques. Mais non. J'ai dit que j'irais. Et rien que pour ça... Je dois y aller. Parce que je lui ai dit que je le ferais. Bon. Je vais me doucher. Voilà, je suis habillé. J'ai quarante minutes de retard, maintenant. Mais Sasha s'est pointé systématiquement deux heures en retard à toutes les soirées, non ? Alors. Au début, je m'étais habillé en noir de la tête au point, et quand j'ai croisé mon regard dans la glace... Je ressemblais à un clone de Sasha. Et... Ce n'est pas bon, ça. Du coup ensuite je me suis habillé en moi. En jean déchiré et en chemise blanche. En garçon plutôt passe partout. Je vais y aller. Non, d'abord je vais boire un bon verre de champagne. Me revoilà. Il est 23h10. C'est juste un passage rapide, j'y retourne. Je... Je ne sais pas ce qui va se passer. Mais je sens bien. Excité comme quelqu'un qui va faire quelque chose de mal, ou pas vraiment de mal, mais d'interdit. Vous voyez ? Comme un collégien. Amoureux. Quand je suis arrivé chez Sasha, c'était... Le bordel. Un bordel sans nom. Je me suis dit que je n'avais rien à faire là, rien du tout. Ce n'était pas comme aux fêtes ou je vais d'habitude. Il y avait plein de mecs avec les cheveux à moitié rasé, des tee-shirts à inscriptions de gros nuls, des bières, du bruit. Des chansons, la télé allumée, des filles qui rigolent avec des débardeurs trop moulant et les seins qui ressortent. Et de la fumée, de la fumée de cigarette partout alors que Sasha descend systématiquement pour fumer ou alors seulement dans sa chambre, quand il est déprimé, et après il aère comme un dingue. Je l'ai cherché. Ce n'est pas lui qui m'a ouvert mais Gabriel. Il m'a toisé, vaguement lâché un bonjour et il est parti. Je cherchais Sasha. Dans toutes les pièces. Son lit était squatté par des tas de gens qui rigolent en buvant de la bière. Il y avait des gens qui jouaient à la console dans le salon, des gens qui fumaient dans le couloir, des gens qui vomissaient dans les toilettes, des gens qui bouffaient et buvaient partout, des poignées de chips, des parts de pizzas. Sasha était dans la cuisine. Assis au bar, devant un plateau de sushis dont je crois qu'il venait de manger lui-même la moitié, une bière ouverte mais intacte à la main. Je suis allé lui dire bonjour et il avait l'air désespéré. Il m'a dit : - C'est horrible. - Mais non. - Mais si. C'est horrible. Je déteste tous ces gens. Je ne les connais même pas, c'est que des amis de Gabriel. Et lui non plus je l'aime pas. Il y avait des gens autour et certains écoutaient mais Sasha s'en foutait. Moi j'en avais le cœur qui battait très fort d'un seul coup. - Je suis désolé. - T'y peux rien. C'est moi, je suis nul. Je ne sais pas comment je me suis retrouvé là-dedans. Je ne savais pas quoi lui dire. Je me suis assis pour manger des sushis, j'ai pris discrètement sa main, sous la table et on a discuté. Mais il avait l'air triste. Tout l'attristait. Sacha aime la fête, mais il l'aime avec des règles, pas n'importe comment, pas comme ça. Pas aussi... Nul. C'est là que j'ai eu une idée. Je l'ai laissé, je lui ai dit que j'allais chercher quelques trucs et que je le retrouvais dans la salle de jeux dans vingt minutes. D'ailleurs je suis retard. J'ai déjà empaqueté du saumon fumé, des noix de St-Jacques, des crevettes, du tarama, des œufs de lumps et des macaron au foie gras dans une boite, plus une bouteille de champagne, deux verres, Trois roses blanches que j'ai volées à la table du diner et la bougie géante à la cerise noire qui est sur ma table de nuit. Je file. Sasha s'est endormi. Il est couché nu contre moi, dans mes bras, dans la salle de jeux fermés à clés, ses bras enroulés autour de ma taille. Je me suis redressé un peu et appuyé contre le mur pour pouvoir écrire. Quand je suis arrivé, il était enfermé dans la salle de jeux avec ce qui restait de Sushis, un grand plaid bleu et doux que je n'avais jamais vu étendu sur le sol et une bouteille de vin blanc à la main. Il m'a regardé avec des yeux brillants quand j'ai ouvert la boite. Il ne restait que vingt minutes avant minuit. J'ai étalé la nourriture sur le sol devant le canapé, sur des assiettes en carton. Il a fait tourner les roses dans ses mains sans rien dire et puis il a arraché lentement les pétales et les a répandus autour de nous. J'ai allumé la bougie. J'ai mis de la musique sur mon téléphone. J'ai servi le champagne. On s'est assis côte à côte sur le plaid, appuyé contre le canapé. On a bu, on s'est pris la main. Puis il s'est blotti dans mes bras. Et il a parlé tout bas. - C'est CA, que je veux. - Du champagne et du saumon ? - Du champagne et toi et du saumon. - Tu mets le champagne en premier ? Il en a bu une gorgée et a ri. Ses joues ont rosies. - Oui. On ne s'embrassait pas. On était comme... Pas comme un couple. On était comme des anciens amants. Ceux qui débordent de tendresse mais d'une tendresse triste parce que brisée. - C'est TOI que je veux, moi. Il n'a pas répondu. Je crois qu'il avait du mal à se rendre compte de ce que je disais. Je ne disais jamais des choses comme ça, avant. Il a reposé son verre et m'a regardé. - Je préfèrerais mille fois être avec TOI qu'avec LUI. Avec TOI qu'avec n'importe qui. J'avais envie de l'attirer plus proche encore, mais je ne l'ai pas fait. J'ai joué avec ses doigts, j'ai remis ses cheveux en place. Il a continué : - Mais j'ai peur. J'ai vraiment très peur, mon amour. Mon amour. C'était si étrange et si exact à la fois, ces mots-là, à ce moment-là. Mon amour. J'ai continué à caresser ses cheveux sans répondre. Je ne faisais que sourire tout doucement parce que le regarder me faisait sourire. J'ai fini par murmurer : - Tu es très beau. C'était une drôle de chose à dire, je crois, mais je suis persuadé qu'il en comprenait les dessous : Tu me rends fragile. Tu fais chavirer mon cœur. Je voudrais tout te donner. Il a cherché ma main dans ses cheveux et il l'a embrassé. Il a demandé : - Tu m'attendras ? J'ai répondu, et je le pensais tellement fort : - Oui. Mon téléphone a vibré. J'avais mis une alarme pour nous rappeler une minute avant qu'il allait être minuit. Il m'a regardé la désactivé et je lui ai murmuré : - Pense à choisir ton voeu. Il a grimpé sur moi. Ses cuisses de chaque côté de mes hanches, ses mains sur mon torse, son air de chat sauvage. Le jeu du chat et de la souris, proche de sa résolution. - Qu'est-ce que tu as fait, à Noel ? - Pardon ? - Elios a dit quelque chose. Il ne l'a pas fait exprès, mais il a dit quelque chose. Alors je ne sais pas ce que je dois comprendre. Mais qu'est-ce que tu as fait ? J'ai regardé au-delà de ses yeux, au-delà de la pièce, de la ville. J'ai regardé jusqu'à l'endroit où il avait la tombe de Thibault et j'ai répondu : - J'ai essayé de mourir. - C'était la première fois ? - Non. - Tu le referas ? - Je ne sais pas. - Dis la vérité. - Très probablement. - D'accord. Plus que dix secondes. Le silence. Son regard perçant de chat. Sasha le chat. Je l'ai dit à haute voix. - Sasha le chat. - Leo le panda. - N'importe quoi. Il a souri. 3 2 1 Il m'a embrassé. Ses mains dans mes cheveux, les miennes en bas de son dos. On s'est embrassés. On a penché à droite, à gauche, on a rebu du champagne et on l'a laissé couler sur nos langues. On s'est embrassé passionnément. Il y avait ses cuisses, mes hanches, l'alcool, minuit, des pétales de rose. On a fait l'amour. Deux fois. La première, très vite, très fort. La deuxième, très lentement, très doucement. On a rabattu le canapé pour le transformer en lit, on s'y est allongés, il s'est blotti contre moi et il s'est endormi en me disant je t'aime de toute mon âme, de tout mon coeur, mon corps, mon cerveau, je n'aime que toi pour tous les jours de ma vie. Quand il a été endormi, j'ai murmuré : " Je suis amoureux de toi " Contre sa peau. Je vais dormir, maintenant. Contre lui. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Il n'y a rien d'ouvert un premier janvier, sauf des trucs de chaîne comme Paul et Starbucks. J'aurais vraiment préféré entre dans un endroit un peu plus convivial pour chialer. J'aurais voulu être au Tostaki, en bas de chez Leo, c'est miteux et le patron recule mes fesses mais je me serais senti bien. J'aurais pu raconter mes malheurs et on m'aurait offert un café avec une bonne cuillère de cognac dedans. Ça m'aurait fait du bien. Au lieu de quoi, je suis dans un macdo. Parce que je me dis que Gabriel n'aura pas l'idée de me chercher là. C'est trop bête pour moi. C'est le dernier endroit ou j'irais me cacher, un macdo. Du coup, c'est là que je suis allé. De toute façon il est déjà 21h, le Starbucks est fermé. Enfin je crois. Je n'en ai aucune idée. Je m'en fous. Je me fous de tout. Je mâche mes frites du côté gauche seulement parce que le côté droit de mon visage est enflé. Je ne sais pas quoi faire. Gabriel est chez moi avec les clés et je n'ose pas y aller parce qu'il m'a cassé la figure et ce n'est pas juste et j'ai envie de pleurer. Alors j'écris mon journal et je laisse des traces de gras de frites dessus. Je ne peux pas rentrer chez moi. C'est le pire sentiment du monde. Je ne sais pas où aller. C'est comme la fois ou il y avait ma mère chez moi, avant que mon père ne lui remonte les pendules à l'heure. Peut-être que je devrais retourner chez mon père. Mais c'est loin. Et... En Suisse, il n'y a pas Leo. Mais il y a Lucas. Je ne sais plus quoi penser. Je ne peux pas penser droit, j'ai le visage tordu. Je vais appeler Leo. Sms : Leo ? Sms de Leo : Oui mon ange ? ... Mon dieu. Merde, je viens de me mettre à pleurer et du coup mon journal est encore plus dégeulasse. Il m'a appelé mon ange, je n'arrive pas y croire. Je ne sais même pas quoi répondre et du coup il m'envoie d'autres messages. Sms de Leo : Sasha ? Sms de Leo : Ça ne va pas ? Je ne peux pas lui expliquer. Sms : Je suis au MacDo de Cordeliers. Tu peux venir ? Sms de Leo : ... Sms de Leo : J'arrive. Je me roule en boule sur le canapé. Un mec du mcdo me demande de m'asseoir correctement, je le fais deux secondes et je me remets en boule. Je peux pas écrire, je ne me sens pas bien. Je vais attendre qu'il arrive. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- J'ai mis mon réveil une demi-heure plus tôt pour pouvoir écrire mon journal. Depuis cinq jours que Sasha vit chez moi, je n'ai pas eu une minute à moi. Depuis qu'il m'a demandé de venir au macdo à 22h et que j'ai accouru avec la peur au ventre, je ne l'ai pas quitté. Quand je suis arrivé, j'ai cru à un mauvais film du dimanche soir, à un épisode de Poubelle la vie, à un documentaire sur la violence conjugale, à... Je n'en sais rien. C'était horrible. Il ne pleurait plus, mais il avait dû le faire pendant des heures. Et supplier, et crier. Je regardais son visage tuméfié et j'avais envie de hurler de rage. Je l'ai ramené chez moi. Les bras autour de lui, en murmurant " ça va aller " entre mes dents serrées. Je l'ai ramené chez moi, là où il y avait mes parents. Il avait l'air mort. Il ne disait rien, il tremblait un peu et ses yeux étaient éteints. Je ne pouvais pas faire ça tout seul. J'avais besoin de mon père. Il s'est assis en face de Sasha et il lui a parlé très doucement pendant un moment. On était sur le canapé du Sasha et je le tenais dans mes bras. Ça a mis un moment avant qu'il ne se mette à pleurer et quand il l'a fait, il a dit mon papa me manque. Mon père lui a pris la main et il a pleuré encore plus fort. Ensuite il nous a raconté tout ce qu'il s'était passé avec son copain et mon père a levé un sourcil en entendant copain mais il n'a pas réagi plus que ça. C'est ma mère qui a appelé la police. Mon père a fait chocolat chaud et des tartines à Sasha, et il est allé allumer le chauffage de la chambre d'amis. Je dois dire que sur ce coup, mes parents ont été géniaux. Ensuite il m'a convoqué dans la bibliothèque. Il avait dit à Sasha qu'il allait appeler son père et Sasha lui avait donné le numéro. Il n'avait pas osé le demander mais il voulait savoir si le père de Sasha savait que son fils était gay. J'ai rigolé. - Tu penses qu'il y a des gens qui ne le savent pas ? - Pourquoi tu dis ça ? - Ça se voit comme le nez au milieu de la figure ? Je ne sais pas pourquoi j'ai dit ça. Par défi, j'imagine. Mon père n'a pas apprécié. Il m'a viré de la bibliothèque pour téléphoner tranquille. Alors je suis retourné avec Sasha. Il était toujours dans le salon avec sa tasse de chocolat chaud dans les mains et il avait l'air horriblement mal. Mon père était dans la bibliothèque, ma mère dans le bureau alors je l'ai pris dans mes bras très doucement et il m'a laissé faire. Il s'est roulé en boule dans mes bras sans rien dire. J'ai embrassé ses cheveux. - Je suis là. T'es en sécurité. - J'ai peur. Je veux mon papa. Il avait l'air d'avoir huit ans. Ça m'a fendu le cœur. On est resté comme ça jusqu'à que mon père revienne et que je lâche Sasha, très gêné. Merde. Mon père m'a demandé de sortir et ça m'a énervé mais j'ai obéit. Il a parlé à Sasha un long moment. Je ne sais pas ce qu'il lui a dit mais ensuite il m'a dit que Sasha allait rester chez nous jusqu'à la rentrée. Parce que son père était en voyage d'affaire mais qu'il allait venir passer une journée ou deux ici pour s'occuper de son fils. Et qu'à la rentrée on verrait ce qu'il ferait. Mais que pour l'instant Sasha restait ici. Il m'a aussi dit que dès demain on irait avec la police récupérer l'appartement de Sasha et virer Gabriel, et également porter plainte contre lui. Et que maintenant il valait mieux qu'on aille se coucher parce que Sasha avait besoin de dormir. Sasha s'est dirigé vers ma chambre mais j'ai dû le dévier vers la chambre d'amis. Je l'ai bordé mais quand je suis allé vers la porte, il a paniqué. - Il faut que tu dormes avec moi. - Sasha... - Je t'en supplie, si tu me laisses ton seul il va revenir. Si tu me laisses tout seul je vais mourir. Mon père était à la porte et il ne savait pas quoi dire. Alors j'ai défait mon jean et mon père s'est offusqué. - Voyons Leo... - C'est important papa. Il voyait bien, pourtant, Sasha qui tendait les bras vers moi comme un affamé. J'ai gardé mon tee-shirt. Je n'ai rien dit, j'ai espéré que ça allait passer. C'est passé. J'ai pu dormir avec Sasha contre moi cette nuit-là. Mais seulement cette nuit-là. Les autres, il a dormi seul. Mais on se trouvait des petits moments câlins dans la journée. On allumait la console pour faire un bruit de fond et on restait sur mon lit l'un dans les bras de l'autre à parler tout bas ou à ne pas parler du tout. Ça a été cinq horribles journées. Mais mes parents ont été géniaux. Là c'est la rentrée. C'est l'heure, d'ailleurs. Je vais me lever et aller réveiller Sasha et ce soir, il retournera dormir chez lui. Mais pas tout seul. Sa mère est revenue. Ça n'a pas l'air de l'enchanter, mais bon. Il ne sera pas tout seul au moins. J'ai aussi pris une décision. J'espère que j'aurais le courage. Voilà, on est en cours. Assis l'un à côté de l'autre. Et je tiens sa main, sur la table. A la vue de tout le monde. Parce que j'ai eu le courage. On est arrivés main dans la main. Et je ne l'ai pas lâché. Jamais. J'ai tenu sa main dans la cour, devant tout le monde. Je ne l'ai pas embrassé, je n'ai rien dit. Mais j'ai tenu sa main. Alors personne n'a rien demandé pour ses nouveaux bleus sur le visage. Personne n'a rien dit du tout. On nous a regardés mais je m'en fous. Qu'ils regardent. Je ne lâcherais pas sa main. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Voilà. Aujourd'hui, ça fait deux semaines que ma mère est revenu vivre dans l'appartement et hier, elle a recommencé à boire. Ca m'a horriblement déprimé et ce matin, en cours, je n'arrivais à rien. Je me suis installé à coté de Leo et j'ai passé les deux heures de philo à envoyer des sms à Lucas et à regarder des beaux garçons sur Tumblr. Alors à midi, Leo m'a emmené mangé des Ramen place Sathonay, juste nous deux. Même si il va forcément y avoir d'autres personnes de notre lycée, on y va seulement tous les deux et on s'installe dans un coin de l'espèce de bar bas, pour pouvoir être à côté. On a bu de l'Umeshu, du vin de prune, Leo a passé son bras dans mon dos pour m'attirer contre lui. J'ai blotti mon visage contre son cou, là où il y a toujours un ou deux poils mal rasés, et j'ai respiré son eau de Cologne. J'allais lui dire des trucs pas très agréables, mais j'avais besoin de le respirer avant. Parce que malgré les questions que je me posais, une chose était sure : Il me faisait du bien. Il me rassurait. Mais je m'en posais, des questions. Ou plutôt, des remises en questions. Je lui ai dit : J'aimerais te parler. - Qu'est-ce qu'il y a ? - Il y a que ça ne va pas très bien. Et parfois, j'ai l'impression... Je ne sais pas. Que toi et moi, on... Il n'avait pas peur. Et c'était ça aussi, que j'aimais chez lui. Que j'aime. Parfois il a l'air rêveur, mais souvent il est planté dans la réalité et il ne se met pas à chouiner. Il a confiance dans quelque chose que je ne comprends pas. Il a... Confiance en moi. - On quoi, mon ange ? A ce moment-là je suis devenu rouge parce qu'il m'appelle comme ça à chaque fois que l'on est tous les deux, mais je ne m'en lasse pas et je ne m'habitue pas non plus. - Parfois, je me demande si c'est ça, aimer. Parce que je suis tellement bien, avec toi, mais je ne suis pas sûr que je te connais. Alors je me demande, des fois. Et je me dis que je me trompe peut être. Qu'en fait, je ne t'aime pas, c'est autre chose. Peut-être que tu es seulement un ami qui prend soin de moi. Parce que toi, tu ne m'aimes pas, alors... Il m'a interrompu. - Pourquoi est-ce que tu dis que je ne t'aime pas ? Je n'ai rien répondu, parce que je me sentais vraiment trop bête de le dire, et puis j'avais honte, j'avais l'impression de faire un caprice et je déteste cette sensation. Mais il a répondu lui-même. - Parce que je ne te le dis pas ? - Oui. Il a soupiré, il a repoussé ses cheveux en arrière. Mais il n'avait pas cet air embarrassé qu'il a souvent. Il avait un air... Triste. Et de réfléchir, aussi. Et d'autres choses. - Sasha ? A ce moment-là, je l'ai fixé et en un instant, j'ai compris que j'avais dit des conneries quelques instants avant. Je l'ai fixé, ses yeux tristes, sa bouche qui tremblait, et je l'ai su. Je ne me faisais pas d'illusions, ce n'était pas autre chose. C'était le véritable amour. J'ai ouvert la bouche pour lui dire mais il m'a devancé et il a dit : - Je peux te dire un secret ? - Bien sûr. - Tu me jures de ne jamais en parler à personne ? - Je te le jure. On nous a servis les ramens mais il n'a même pas détourné les yeux des miens pour dire merci ou je ne sais quoi. Il m'a pris la main, il l'a porté à sa bouche sans me lâcher des yeux et il a dit, tout bas et très vite : - Je ne peux te le dire, parce que je ne l'ai pas dit depuis très longtemps. La dernière personne à qui je l'ai dit, elle n'est plus là. Et je ne l'avais jamais dit à personne d'autre et je n'ai pas envie de le redire. Ça me fait peur. Alors je suis désolé. Mais je ne peux pas. Parce que j'y pense à chaque fois et j'ai déjà essayé de te le dire, Sasha, mais ça se bloque dans ma gorge parce que j'ai peur. Je n'ai pas peur de le ressentir parce que c'est trop tard. Mais j'ai peur de le dire. Alors ne me déteste pas. Je suis resté comme un con. Mais vraiment comme un con. Et je ne savais plus du tout ce que je devais dire, ensuite. Parce qu'à la base, je voulais lui parler de plein de trucs. Lui dire que j'avais peur, que j'étais malheureux, que j'avais l'impression de sombrer et que je n'étais pas aveugle, lui aussi. J'avais vu son bras, j'avais vu les cicatrices, et même s'il n'avait pas voulu en parler plus avant, je savais qu'il avait fait des conneries, pendant les vacances et avant. Je sais tout ça. Et j'ai peur. Et je ne sais pas quoi faire, pas quoi faire du tout. Mais à ce moment-là je l'ai seulement embrassé. Je l'ai embrassé très fort jusqu'à qu'une conne de ma classe nous prenne en photo, que Leo lui montre son majeur et m'embrasse de plus belle. Je suis rentré là, c'est le soir. Ma mère n'est pas là. Tu m'étonnes. Elle m'a laissé un mot pour dire qu'elle allait à un diner et qu'elle rentrerait avant minuit, et qu'elle avait fait à manger, c'était dans le frigo. Dans le frigo, il y avait un plateau de traiteur de luxe. " J'ai fait à manger ", tu parles, pauvre conne. J'aimerais bien aller manger chez Leo, mais ses parents en ont un peu marre de moi. En même temps ils m'ont accueilli cinq jours, alors... Bref. Je vais diner et puis je proposerais à Leo de passer. Il viendra surement. Une petite heure. J'en ai besoin. Je ne sais pas si c'est bien que j'en ai besoin. Parce que je passe mon temps à lui raconter mes problèmes, mais lui il ne me dit rien. Il garde tout pour lui et ça me fait mal parce que j'ai l'impression de l'enfoncer. C'est ça qui me fait peur. Allez, je vais diner. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Sasha vient de s'endormir. Du coup je me suis levé et je suis allé me poser dans le grand salon, sur l'appui de la fenêtré, en tirant la lampe du piano avec moi pour pouvoir écrire. Dehors, il vient de se mettre à neiger. Quand j'aurais fini, j'irais réveiller Sasha pour lui montrer la neige. On a pris notre bain ensemble. Avec plein de mousse rose à la fraise. Il a soulevé l'idée que l'on fasse l'amour dans le bain mais j'ai dit non. J'ai dit qu'on le ferait dans mon lit après et comme d'habitude je ne veux pas quand mes parents sont dans les passages, il a dit d'accord. On s'est mis dans la mousse, il s'est allongé contre moi et je lui ai fait des bisous dans le cou derrière l'oreille en lui caressant le ventre. On a parlé. Tout bas, avec la mousse autour de nous qui semblait arrondir les paroles. - Tu es bien, là ? - Oui. Très. Ça me fait vraiment plaisir, cette soirée, Leo. Ça me touche. - J'avais envie que tu sois heureux. Tu l'es ? - Je le suis. J'avais envie de lui dire je t'aime, à ce moment-là, j'en avais très envie alors j'ai essayé, j'ai essayé de le murmurer contre son oreille. Je me suis repris à quatre fois sur le premier j. Ça ne passait pas. Alors finalement, je l'ai formé sur mes lèvres. Sans qu'un seul son ne les franchissent, mais mes lèvres l'ont formés. Il a frémit très fort, il a tourné la tête et l'on s'est embrassé un moment. Il n'avait pas l'air fâché, il avait l'air heureux. On est restés un moment sans parler, à seulement profiter de la chaleur de la baignoire et à la sécurité que l'on ressentait l'un dans les bras de l'autre. J'arrive toujours à me sentir en sécurité, quand je suis avec lui. C'est peut-être le seul endroit qui reste ou je suis bien. Et quand j'ai Gimli dans les bras, aussi. A un moment, il m'a demandé : - Et toi ? Tu es heureux ? Je n'ai rien répondu. Je ne pouvais pas répondre à ça. C'était trop nul. On était tellement bien, tellement amoureux, ce n'était pas juste que la réalité vienne tout gâcher. Il a fini par murmurer : - Leo ? Et j'ai répondu - Ne pose pas la question et je ne te mentirais pas. Il a baissé la tête. M'a embrassé le cou. A murmuré : - Il y a quelque chose que je peux faire ? Et j'ai dit : - Continue de m'aimer, s'il te plait. Ensuite, je lui ai lavé les cheveux, et massé le crâne au passage. Il s'est accroupi puis mis debout pour que je le lave partout, et il a fait la même chose. C'était... Différent. Tendre, doux, mais pas sexuel. Bon, heu, sauf à un moment. Mais bref. On a fait l'amour, et ça aussi c'était différent, c'était un peu, pas mécanique non, mais habituel. C'était... Je crois que c'était comme les couples font l'amour, quand ils n'ont pas envie de sexe mais seulement de... Se retrouver. D'être bien. Dans la continuité des câlins, doucement, tranquillement. Amoureusement. Ensuite il s'est endormi et je suis allé me poser là. Je... Ça ne va pas. Ça ne va pas absolument pas du tout. Je suis en train de sombrer. De plonger complètement. J'ai été heureux toute la soirée, je ne dis pas que je me suis forcé mais, si. A sourire. C'est vrai que j'étais bien avec Sasha, mieux que d'habitude, mais ça reste bas. J'ai des pensées horribles en permanence. J'ai l'impression que mon esprit est une pierre qui tape contre les murs de mon cerveau de droite à gauche. Un bordel sans nom. Je vais très très mal. Mais il faut que je le cache à Sasha. Sinon il s'en ira, je le sais très bien. Mais le cacher aggrave les choses. Je ne sais pas quoi faire. Bien. Je vais prendre une poignée de cachets, récupérer Gimli dans sa cage, réveiller Sasha et lui montrer la neige. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Je n'arrive pas à croire qu'il m'ait embrassé devant ses parents. Je me raccroche à ça parce que j'aimerais pouvoir dire " Je n'arrive pas à croire qu'il a essayé de mourir alors que j'existe pour l'en empêcher ". Sauf que j'y crois ça, j'y crois sans peine. J'ai croisé mon visage dans le miroir des toilettes de l'hosto en allant me passer de l'eau sur le visage et j'ai une sale tête. J'ai les yeux explosés de larmes et les joues rouges. Je ne parle même pas de mes doigts dont deux sont sanglants tellement je me suis rongé les ongles. Je suis dans le couloir. Ses parents ne quittent pas sa chambre et ça me dérange trop d'y être avec eux, du coup je préfère rester ici. Mais ça sera bientôt la fin des visites et... J'aimerais pouvoir passer une minute ou deux seul avec lui. Il n'était pas en cours, ce matin. J'ai essayé de le joindre, mais rien. Et à 10h, à la récréation, Elios a reçu un coup de fil des parents de Leo et d'un seul coup... Tout a basculé dans... Je ne sais même pas. Pas dans l'horreur, non. Plutôt dans l'engourdissement. Mon cerveau semblait avoir ralenti. Ça ne servait à rien d'y aller. Elios a dû me le dire au moins six fois avant que je comprenne. Je suis resté en cours tout le reste de la journée mais ça ne servait à rien. A quoi bon ? Elios m'a promis qu'on irait, après. Qu'à 16h, on pourrait aller à l'hôpital le voir, que pour l'instant il était au bloc, puis en salle de réveil, etc et que ça ne servait à rien. Je lisais les messages du père de Leo sur le portable d'Elios et j'étais malade. Tout le monde l'a su. J'ai eu honte, sur le moment, parce que c'était de ma faute. Si j'avais réussi à contrôler mes émotions, ça ne se serait pas passé comme ça, on aurait peut-être pu le cacher. Mais bientôt Juliette a pleuré aussi. Alors... Finalement la dernière heure de cours a été annulée et on est seulement restés là à tous ne pas savoir quoi dire. Tout le monde aime Leo. Tout le monde était bouleversé. Il avait l'air d'aller mieux. J'aurais dû me rendre compte que ça cachait quelque chose. Je suis trop nul. Quand on est allé à l'hôpital, j'ai pas pu... Attendre Elios et Juliette derrière moi. On a eu le numéro de sa chambre et je me suis mis à courir. C'était vital, c'était comme si j'avais de quoi le sauver dans la poche et que chaque seconde comptait. J'ai poussé la porte de sa chambre. Il était allongé dans un lit, avec sa peau blanche comme les draps. Ses parents étaient là aussi. Je suis resté complètement bloqué, à trois mètres de lui, terrifié par absolument tout. Il a murmuré : - Sasha... Je me suis approché, hésitant, avec deux " bonjour... " en direction de ses parents. Je ne savais pas comment me comporter mais quand j'ai été à sa hauteur, il a tendu la main vers mon visage. Il s'est redressé de son mieux sur les coudes. Et avant que je ne comprenne tout à fait ce qui se passait, il avait glissé ses doigts sur ma nuque et... On s'embrassait. J'ai refermé mes bras autour de lui, pour lui faire comme un nid, pour le protéger. Il me tenait et devant ses parents, peu importe, on s'embrassait. Quand on a cessé de s'embrasser, avant de me lâcher et de retomber dans les draps, il a murmuré : - Pardon. Et puis je me suis senti tellement bête et tellement gêné avec ses parents qui me regardaient, son père avec un petit sourire triste et sa mère sans aucune expression, que j'ai dit que j'allais attendre dans le couloir. En ressortant j'ai croisé Juliette et Elios à la porte, aussi gêné que moi. Je suis dans le métro. Les parents de Leo ont proposés de me raccompagner mais ça allait être horrible s'ils commençaient à poser des questions, alors...J'ai pu parler une minute à Leo, mais pas seul à seul. On s'est embrassés à nouveau, devant tout le monde et très vite. Il s'est blotti dans mes bras et il n'a pas pleuré. Il m'a dit qu'il était désolé et je lui ai dit que je l'aimais parce que j'avais tellement besoin que ça sorte et il m'a répondu moi aussi. Je ne sais pas quoi penser. Je n'ai pas envie de penser. Je vais boire. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- J'ai rencontré la mère de Sasha. Elle est arrivée dans ma chambre avec Sasha, à 14h. Sasha a séché les cours tout jeudi et vendredi après-midi, pour passer du temps avec moi. Je ne savais pas s'il comptait revenir le week-end, mais il est là. Avec sa mère. Et... C'était bizarre parce qu'elle ressemble beaucoup à la mienne. Je suis sûr qu'elles ont le même âge et je peux complètement les imaginer à 15 ans, avec des nattes blondes, en pull d'angora rose assortis, sages et froides, au détour des années 80. Des jeunes filles parfaites, yeux bleu aristocratiques et prénoms anciens. Sa mère s'appelle Blanche. La mienne, Ingrid. Et en même temps, elles sont très différentes. Comme si elles n'avaient pas pris la même route. Ma mère est du genre très, très classique. Sa garde-robe doit être composée à 90% de vêtements de chez Agnès B, elle porte un rang de perle et elle se fait des chignons. Celle de Tristan... Elle n'a pas l'air vrai. Elle est bronzée, maquillée, entourée de fourrures et de chaussures avec des talons pointues. Elle... Ne me plait pas du tout. Elle avait un immense bouquet dans les bras et elle l'a posé sur la table. Elle a serré la main de mes parents. Sasha s'est assis sur le bord de mon lit, a posé une boite de chocolats sur l'espèce de tablette devant moi et m'a pris la main. - C'est pour toi. Il avait l'air très en colère. Sa mère est venue m'embrasser en se disant ravie de rencontre le gentil camarade de son fils, comme si on était en primaire. Et Sasha lui a gueulé dessus. - C'est mon petit ami, " maman ", et il a besoin de repos. C'est quand elle a rigolé comme s'il venait de faire une plaisanterie que j'ai compris qu'elle était soule. Mes parents étaient retranchés sur le côté. Ma mère s'est mise à faire la conversation parce que mon père déteste ça, et lui il est venu s'asseoir à coté de Sasha, qui avait sorti un jeu de cartes. J'avais envie de l'embrasser mais je ne voulais pas aggraver encore la situation. Je n'ai pas parlé de Sasha à mes parents. Je veux dire, je l'ai embrassé, il m'a dit je t'aime devant eux, c'est plutôt clair. Mais on n'en a pas parlé et je sais qu'ils sont choqués. Au moins un peu. Mais mon père est très gentil. Il aime beaucoup Sasha, de toute façon. On a joué aux cartes pendant que ma mère et celle de Sasha discutaient mais on les écoutait en même temps et ça avait l'air tellement pénible que Sasha a fini par intervenir et finalement, dix minutes plus tard, ils sont tous partis. Il n'y avait plus que Sasha et moi. Il a aussitôt enlevé ses chaussures et s'est allongé sur moi. - Je suis désolé. - Ce n'est pas grave. - Tu comprends pourquoi je la déteste ? Je ne sais pas pourquoi j'ai été sincère. Peut-être parce que depuis quelques jours, j'avais du mal à beaucoup réfléchir. Les médecins ont dit que les médocs que j'avais pris avaient fait beaucoup de mal à mon système digestif mais rien à mon cerveau. Mais j'ai de la morphine, c'est peut-être ça. Je ne sais pas. Je sais seulement que ça ne va pas trop. - Oui. Il a soupiré, a fait tomber les cartes par terre. J'ai demandé : - Tu m'embrasses ? - D'accord. Il m'a embrassé un petit moment, en me recoiffant du bout des doigts en même temps, puis il m'a pris dans ses bras. - Quand est-ce que tu rentres chez toi ? Et en cours ? Tu me manques. - Je ne sais pas. Peut-être bien demain soir. Après on a parlé des cours que j'avais raté, des autres élèves, de nos parents. On ne parle jamais de pourquoi je suis là. Ni de ce qui va se passer après. S'il va rester avec moi. J'ai faim, mais je n'arrive rien à avaler. Ils vont éteindre. J'espère que demain soir je pourrais sortir. Demain c'est la saint valentin. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Aujourd'hui c'est la St-Valentin. C'est la Saint-Valentin, je sors avec un garçon dont je suis amoureux, mes parents le savent, ses parents le savent, nos amis le savent, tout se passe très bien. Depuis mes treize ans, j'ai toujours fêté la Saint-Valentin. J'avais toujours une copine, à cette date. A treize, quatorze et quinze ans, c'était Juliette. A seize ans, une fille de ma classe qui s'appelait Leonora. Et cette année, Sasha. J'adore la Saint-Valentin. De façon générale, j'adore les fêtes codifiées. J'aime tout faire dans les règles. Pour ma première Saint-Valentin avec Sasha, j'avais vu les choses en immense : On devait aller passer la soirée à Villars de Lans, manger de la fondue, faire de la luge à minuit sous les étoiles en buvant du chocolat chaud. J'avais tout prévu. Sauf d'avaler deux plaquettes d'Atarax, une de codéine et un tube de paracétamol avec du Yop Vanille six jours avant. Du coup, j'avais prévu que l'on prenne le bus de 17h qui arrive à 19h à Villars, mais déjà je n'ai pas eu le temps de préparer tout ce que j'avais prévu de préparer, et ensuite... Et bien, je ne suis pas sûr que l'on va me laisser sortir de l'hôpital aujourd'hui. En fait, c'est sûr que non. Je me sens complètement misérable. Il y a des psys qui me tournent autour et qui ne comprennent pas que je suis TRES malheureux et que je n'ai PAS envie de parler. Ou plutôt, je suis sûr qu'il s comprennent, mais comment dire... Ils s'en foutent, que je n'ai pas envie de parler. Ce n'est pas, c'est justement le problème et c'est contre ça qu'ils luttent. Ils me parlent gravement et parfois j'ai envie de leur demander en hurlant si c'est la première fois qu'ils voient un adolescent suicidaire de leur vie, ou quoi ? J'ai envie de dire que ce n'est pas si grave, ni les médocs, ni les marques sur mon bras, ni les pensées dans ma tête, c'est courant, je connais d'autres gens comme moi, j'en ai marre que l'on me parle comme un grand cancéreux alors que je suis seulement dépressif et il y en a plein, des gens dépressifs. Ça me fatigue. Il faut que je sorte de cet enfer. Que j'aille passer un peu de temps avec Sasha à la neige. Je me sentirais tellement mieux, après. Ça ira bien. Vraiment, ça ira bien.,S'il en a envie, bien sûr. Il est déjà 13h30, il ne devrait plus tarder. En fait il devrait déjà être là. Et chaque minute où il continue à ne pas être là c'est comme s'il me disait que, finalement, il est désolé mais il n'a plus le courage. Vraiment plus le courage. Moi non plus je n'ai plus le courage. Il n'a jamais dit qu'il viendrait. C'est juste qu'il est venu tous les jours depuis le premier jour. Et on a parlé d'autres choses à chaque fois mais... Je ne sais pas. Je ne sais pas comment dire, je sais seulement qu'il doit être là. Qu'il ne peut pas abandonner maintenant. Mon dieu je suis tellement heureux. Si Sasha était en retard, ce n'était pas parce qu'il ne m'aime plus. Ce n'était pas ça du tout. Lui aussi il pensait à la St-Valentin. Il est arrivé avec un paquet dans les mains et accroché au bolduc, il y avait une rose et je me suis mis à chialer parce qu'il m'aimait et aussi parce que moi je n'avais rien à lui offrir que ma vie bousillée. Il a eu l'air très malheureux pendant un instant que j'ai dit ça mais il m'a pris dans ses bras et il m'a serré fort en disant je t'aime je t'aime je t'aime Leo je crois que tu es l'amour de ma vie alors j'ai pleuré encore plus et je me suis dit mais qu'est ce que je fous là, qu'est ce que je fous dans ce lit d'hôpital c'est nul je suis trop nul. Là-dessus j'ai ouvert le paquet et dedans il y avait deux places de cinéma, un papier fait à la main avec marqué : " Bon pour des profiteroles au chocolat pour deux personnes ", deux tickets de montagne russe et il m'a dit qu'il avait un vrai cadeau mais que ça serait pour plus tard. Ensuite il m'a dit qu'il avait tout arrangé avec mon père et l'hôpital et que j'allais pouvoir sortir pour la soirée seulement et que je reviendrais pour une nuit, un entretien psy le lendemain et qu'après je pourrais rentrer chez moi pour de bon. Là je suis dans le taxi, je rentre chez moi pour pouvoir me préparer pour notre soirée de St Valentin. J'ai l'impression que mon cœur va exploser de bonheur et que toutes les choses tristes que je pense vont cesser à tout jamais d'être dans ma tête. Je suis tellement heureux que j'ai l'impression que ça va rester toujours. On est allé faire un tour de grande roue. Il m'a serré dans ses bras et on a regardé la ville en silence. Quand on a été en haut, il m'a murmuré une longue déclaration d'amour à l'oreille. Ca faisait : - Les choses que j'aime chez toi sont infinies. Elles sont comme ce ciel plein d'étoiles. Elles m'éclairent et me protègent quand tout est sombre. Toutes les petites choses que tu fais, quand tu laisses courir tes doigts le long des meubles, quand tu frottes tes chaussettes contre ton jean, quand tu fais craquer ta colonne vertébrale le matin. Quand tu parles à ton lapin, quand tu embrasses mes sourcils, quand tu prononces mon prénom en trainant sur le deuxième A, quand tu me respires derrière les oreilles, quand tu tires sur les mailles de ton pull, quand tu poses tes mains sur mon ventre, sous mon tee-shirt, quand on regarde un film. Quand tu souris d'un seul côté, quand tu te griffes les épaules, le ventre et les bras. Je t'aime par ce que tu fais à chaque instant. Je pleurais, je pleurais, je n'arrêtais plus de pleurer pendant qu'il parlait parce que c'était tellement impossible et incongru d'avoir voulu mourir alors que j'étais aimé comme ça. J'ai voulu parler mais il m'a embrassé et il m'a dit qu'il n'avait pas besoin de m'entendre dire des choses comme ça. Qu'il le savait, que je l'aimais, et j'ai murmuré " je suis amoureux de toi " et je l'ai répété plusieurs fois avec les mains sous son pull en pleurant et en me sentant si petit devant l'immensité du ciel et si petit dans ses bras. Je l'ai répété même si ce n'était pas exactement les bons mots, je les aie dit quand même. Et puis il a sorti une boite de sa poche et il m'a offert un de ces bracelets Pandora sur lesquels on accroche des breloques et il y a accroché une breloque en forme de cœur avec un petit grelot dedans et c'était romantique, ultra romantique, c'était parfait. Ensuite on est allé au cinéma. On s'est mis tout au fond, on n'a pas trop suivi le film au début parce qu'on s'embrassait mais il était génial donc on a fini pour se blottir l'un contre l'autre pour pouvoir le regarder en se tenant la main et on rigolant. Ensuite on est allé en face, chez Pizza Pino, pour manger des profiteroles au chocolat. Enfin, il m'a ramené à l'hôpital. Je suis à St-Joseph St Bruno, ce n'est qu'à dix ou quinze minutes à pieds du cinéma. Mais on avait pas envie, on n'avait pas arrêté de se toucher sous la table au restaurant et on trouvait ça nul de se séparer comme ça sans pouvoir faire l'amour ou au moins se câliner un peu mieux. Alors on a marché le plus lentement possible vers la clinique et pendant qu'on longeait l'université très lentement, on regardait autour de nous comme s'il y allait avoir un coin sombre ou l'on pourrait se cacher. Même si on était en février et que ça compliquait salement les choses parce qu'il faisait froid. Finalement on est arrivés frustrés à l'hôpital. On est allé se caller dans un recoin et on s'est embrassés comme des drogués en manque d'endorphines et on s'est câliné à travers nos fringues jusqu'à que ça devienne dément d'aller plus loin alors qu'on était quand même en public. Et on s'est séparés complètement frustrés. Je suis complètement frustré. Heureux, aussi. Même si je me rends compte qu'on ne parle toujours pas de comment j'ai atterri ici. Enfin de pourquoi. Mais bon. Peu importe. Je vais... Dormir, hein. Bonne nuit. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Je crois que c'était au début de la soirée, quand on était au sommet de la grande roue, que j'ai pris ma décision. Je me dis même que c'est pour ça que ça s'est aussi bien passé, la soirée. Parce que je m'étais décidé et que je profitais de toutes mes forces de cette soirée. Elle avait un gout particulier. Subtil. Profond. Elle était triste, aussi, notre première st Valentin. Et maintenant, c'est le premier lundi des vacances et il faut que je lui dise. Je suis invité à déjeuner officiellement. Je trouve ça super bizarre mais les parents de Leo y tiennent. Il m'a déjà envoyé quatre sms hyper stressants qui finissaient toujours par " mais t'inquiète pas, c'est à la bonne franquette ". " Met une chemise, mais t'inquiète pas " " Achète des fleurs pour ma mère mais t'inquiète pas " " Parle pas de politique mais t'inquiète pas " Mon dieu. C'est vraiment... Ca ne sent pas bon. Mais c'est important. C'est... Officiel et on en a besoin tous les deux. A 17 ans, rencontrer les parents, c'est l'équivalent de prendre un appartement. Ça veut dire " C'est sérieux ". Et j'ai peur. " Ça serait bien si t'arrivais environ... Maintenant. " Il me stresse, bon sang. J'y vais. Bon. Ça c'est bien passé. On est dans son lit, là, côte à côte, à écrire dans nos journaux respectifs. J'aime bien quand on fait ça, je me sens connecté à lui. On est appuyés l'un contre l'autre et on ne jette pas un coup d'œil vers le journal de l'autre. On a confiance. Et ça fait du bien. Mais il va falloir que je lui parle, maintenant. Même si ça m'énerve parce qu'il est très heureux parce que ça c'est vraiment très bien passé avec ses parents. On s'est embrassé dans l'entrée, on s'est tenu la main sous la table. Ses parents ont fait des blagues, il y avait du saumon à la mangue. Tout était chouette. Et maintenant... J'essaye de trouver le courage. Ok, je ne l'ai pas trouvé pour l'instant. Tout à l'heure, j'ai posé mon journal, je l'ai embrassé dans le cou et... Je voulais lui parler. Mais on a préféré faire l'amour. Ca faisait plus d'une semaine qu'on avait pas fait l'amour, alors... On l'a fait tout doucement, l'un dans les bras de l'autre, sans se lâcher du regard. C'était bien. J'essayais de tenir ça dans mon esprit très fort, de ne pas le lâcher. Je crois que je vais avoir besoin de me souvenir de ça. De cette chaleur immense qui nous entourait. Mais maintenant il faut que je lui parle. Il faut que je sois courageux. D'accord. C'était surement dégueulasse de ma part de le mettre à ce point devant le fait accompli. Mais je n'avais pas vraiment... Envie de lui laisser le choix. C'était ma décision. Et... Je ne sais pas, j'ai mal au cœur. Le taxi arrive dans vingt-minutes, je suis assis dans l'entrée de l'immeuble sur l'une de mes valises. Je ne voulais plus rester là-haut. Hier... Ça a été dur. Après l'amour, alors qu'on était rhabillés et que j'allais bientôt partir, je lui ai dit qu'il fallait qu'on parle. Il m'a souri tristement et il m'a dit : - Je suis prêt. Et je me suis rendu compte que l'on ne pensait pas à la même chose. Je ne veux pas parler de sa tentative de suicide. Je n'aurais jamais envie d'en parler, jamais. Il avait l'air courageux et malheureux à la fois. Il a répété : - Je suis prêt. - Mais à quoi tu es près, exactement ? - A ce que tu vas me dire. - Et je vais te dire quoi ? - Je n'en sais rien. Ça ne me faisait pas rire. J'ai embrassé lentement ses doigts. Et puis j'ai pris mon courage à deux mains et j'ai tout dit d'un seul coup. - On avait parlé du fait que moi non plus je n'allais pas très bien, tu te rappelles ? Et que je ne pouvais pas m'occuper de toi, que je n'avais pas la force. On en a parlé. Et je t'aime. Je t'aime vraiment, Leo, je suis tellement amoureux de toi mais je t'ai quand même dit que je n'avais pas la force de t'aider. Tu me crois quand je te dis que je t'aime ? - Oui. - J'ai réfléchi, j'ai énormément réfléchi à ce que je devais faire parce que j'ai envie d'être avec toi, j'en ai tellement envie et ça me fait plaisir mais je crois que ça me fait plus de mal que ça ne me rend heureux et je suis désolé. Je suis vraiment désolé. - Ce n'est pas grave. Il a caressé mon visage et il m'a embrassé tout doucement. Il tremblait un peu, mais il essayait d'être fort. Alors j'ai terminé. J'ai dit : - Je vais rentrer en Suisse jusqu'à la fin de l'année scolaire. Ensuite il n'a plus rien dit. Il n'a eu presque aucune réaction tandis que je le serrais dans mes bras et lui demandait pardon. Tandis que je lui disais que je l'aimais et qu'on pourrait se parler énormément et que je viendrais à Lyon des week-ends et qu'il serait le bienvenue en Suisse. Il m'a dit oui oui, d'accord, je comprends, c'est normal. Il avait l'air mort. Je suis rentré. J'avais une valise à faire. Avant de partir je lui ai fait jurer de ne pas se tuer et j'avais l'impression que tout ça était une vaste blague. Je l'ai embrassé un moment à la porte de chez lui mais il donnait l'impression de ne plus être là. Je lui ai dit qu'on allait se revoir bientôt, que je revenais samedi prochain pour le weekend, qu'on en parlerait plus, mais rien. Rien du tout. Voilà mon taxi. Je suis à l'aéroport. J'étais persuadé qu'il allait essayer de me voir avant le départ. Chez moi, ou à l'aéroport, ou... Mais... Non. Il a mes horaires de vol mais là j'ai passé la douane, c'était le dernier moment. Et il ne m'a envoyé aucun message. Je suis dans l'avion. Toujours rien du tout. On est en plein ciel. Mais le seul ciel qui compte c'est celui de ses bras, non ? Je vais chialer, merde. Je suis trop con. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Sasha : Leo ? Sasha : Est ce que tu es là ? Je te vois connecté et... J'ai besoin de te parler. Leo : Je suis désolé, je n'ai pas très envie de parler. Sasha : Tu n'es pas forcé de parler. Tu peux juste m'écouter. Tu veux bien m'écouter ? Leo : Je veux bien. Sasha est en train d'écrire. Sasha est en train d'écrire. Sasha : ... Sasha : ... En fait je... Ne sais pas quoi te dire. J'aurais voulu que l'on puisse parler avant que je parte. Sasha : J'aurais voulu... Sasha : . Sasha est en train d'écrire. Sasha : J'aurais voulu que tu me retiennes. Sasha : Je suis désolé si c'est tordu, je suis désolé si c'est manipulateur, je suis désolé. Sasha : Mais j'aurais voulu que tu m'empêches de partir. Leo : Ça te fait du mal d'être avec moi. Je t'aime et je ne peux pas te pousser à faire quelque chose qui te fait du mal. Sasha est en train d'écrire Sasha est en train d'écrire Leo : Oui je l'ai dit. Leo : Tu reviens à Lyon, du coup ? Sasha : Non. Sasha : Mais je t'aime aussi. Sasha : Je t'aime de tout mon cœur. Sasha : Je n'ai aucune envie d'être séparé de toi. Je n'ai aucune envie de me réveiller le matin en sachant que je vais passer la journée sans te toucher et je n'ai aucune envie de rentrer le soir en me disant que je vais devoir dormir sans toi et que je n'y arriverais pas. J'ai eu envie de revenir avant même d'être parti. J'avais la nostalgie de quelque chose qui n'était même pas fini. Tu sais qu'il y a un mot comme ça, dans une langue que je ne connais pas ? Arano. la nostalgie des choses qui ne sont pas finies. Je ressentais ça en attendant le taxi en bas de chez moi. Je ressentais ça quand on faisait l'amour hier. Si doucement l'un dans les bras de l'autre. Ca me faisait mal et je voudrais rentrer et tenir à nouveau ton corps et ton cœur entre mes mains. Mais je ne peux pas rentrer, parce que je ne suis parti ni sur un coup de tête ni sur un caprice. Je suis parti parce que j'en avais besoin et que j'ai décidé de faire ce qui était bon pour moi même si ça me fait si mal. Leo : T'as pas le droit de faire ça. Sasha : De faire quoi, exactement ? Leo : De me faire pleurer de bonheur alors que je n'arrive même pas à pleurer de tristesse. Sasha : <3 Leo : Je t'emmerde avec tes smileys. Leo : Je ne sais pas où on en est je déteste ça. Leo : Tu viens de me larguer une deuxième fois ? Sasha : Mais non putain je t'aime. Leo : Tu m'aimais aussi la dernière fois et ça ne t'a pas empêché. Sasha : Tu ressembles à un gamin boudeur. Sasha : Ça me donne envie de toi. Leo : Ce n'est pas pédophile ce que tu viens de dire déjà. Sasha : Viens en Suisse. Leo : Si t'es parti pour pas avoir à me supporter et pour qu'on prenne un peu nos distances, ce n'est pas une bonne idée. Sasha : Je suis parti parce que je n'arrive plus à vivre loin des personnes que j'aime. Leo : ... Sasha : Je t'aime. Je t'aime putain. Sasha : Mais je ne supporte plus d'être tout seul dans cet appartement. Sasha : Mon père me manque. Leo est en train d'écrire. Leo : Pardonne-moi. Sasha : Je ne suis pas fâché. Sasha : Tu me manques. On s'est mal quittés. On ne s'est pas quittés. On s'est mal séparés. Sasha : Je reviendrais. Sasha : Souvent et un jour définitivement. Leo : T'es flippant quand t'es romantique. Sasha : J'ai envie de t'épouser de te faire des bébés et qu'on ai plein de lapins. Leo : ... Sasha : Ca va, je rigole. Leo : Ouais. Sasha : Bon ok, je vais me la jouer viril. Leo : Je rigole. Sasha : Je t'encule. Leo : Essaye pour voir. Sasha : Non mais attends, laisse-moi me concentrer. Leo : Tu te rends compte que t'as besoin de te concentrer pour être viril ? Sasha : T'es à moi. Sasha : T'es qu'à moi et je ne vais pas te laisser ici tout seul parce qu'on essayera de te voler et il n'en est pas question. Sasha : Je me suis battu comme un dingue pour toi et je ne laisserais pas tomber. Sasha : Tu te rends compte de tout le bordel que l'on a vécu ensemble ? Sasha : De par quoi on est passé ? Sasha : Tu crois que je vais abandonner comme ça ? Sasha : Tu vas aller mieux. Moi aussi. Et un jour il n'y aura plus rien que toi et moi. On est serra heureux à s'en faire mal. Sasha : Je viendrais sous ton balcon et je dirais : " Leo ! lance-moi ta chevelure ! " Leo : T'ES CON. Leo : J'AI RECRACHE MES CEREALES. Sasha : Tu m'aimes ? Leo : Oui. Sasha : Je peux t'appeler au téléphone pour l'entendre ? Leo : Oui. Sasha : Sérieusement ? Leo : Bien sûr que non pauvre abruti. Sasha : Ton pauvre abruti à toi ? Leo : Mon pauvre abruti à moi. Sasha : Est-ce que tu veux venir passer quelques jours en Suisse ces vacances ? On irait faire du ski, de la luge, on ferrait l'amour devant la cheminée en regardant la neige tomber... Leo : Je vais en parler à mes parents. Sasha : D'accord. Leo : Dis... Sasha : Oui ? Leo est en train d'écrire. Leo est en train d'écrire. Sasha : Qu'est-ce qu'il y a mon ange ? Leo : Tu m'en veux d'avoir essayé de mourir ? Sasha : Pourquoi tu demandes ça ? Leo : J'ai besoin d'en parler. Sasha : Je ne veux pas en parler. Sasha : Non, c'est pas ça. Sasha : Je comprends. Mais je ne peux pas. Sasha : Je suis désolé. Sasha : Je ne t'en veux pas du tout. Sasha : Mais je ne veux pas en parler. Leo : C'est pas grave. Sasha : Je suis désolé. Leo : Mais non. Ce n'est rien. Leo : Je vais y aller. On en reparle plus tard ? Sasha : D'accord. Leo : Je t'aime. Sasha : Je t'aime de tout mon cœur. On s'appelle tout à l'heure ? Ce soir ? Leo : Ce soir. Sasha : A plus tard. Leo s'est déconnecté. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Sasha : Tu dors, mon ange ? Leo : Non. Je t'attendais. Leo : Je voulais te parler avant de m'endormir. Sasha : Qu'est-ce que tu voulais me dire ? Leo : Rien. Je voulais te parler. Peut-être entendre ta voix. Leo : J'ai parlé à mes parents. Sasha : Et ? Leo : Ils sont d'accord. Sasha : Quand est-ce que tu arrives ? Leo : Je ne sais pas si j'ai envie de venir. Sasha : Oh. Sasha : Pourquoi ? Leo est en train d'écrire. Leo : Tu étais en boite, non ? Sasha : Oui, avec Lucas. Leo : C'était bien ? Sasha : Oui. Leo : Tu as fait quoi ? Sasha : Comment ça ? Leo : En boite. Sasha : Leo... Leo : Tu vois. Sasha : Je vois quoi ? Leo : Tu dis qu'on est ensemble mais au final, hein. Leo : Tu fais comme avant. Leo : Tu sors, tu couches à droite à gauche. Sasha : Tais-toi. Leo : T'en a rien à foutre de moi, tu veux juste ne pas te sentir coupable de me laisser. Sasha : Leo. Leo : Je te déteste. Sasha : Ce n'est pas vrai. Leo : Je te hais. Sasha : Tu m'aimes. Leo : C'est pareil. Sasha est en train d'écrire. Leo est en train d'écrire. Sasha : Qu'est ce qui ne va pas, pourquoi tu es énervé comme ça ? Leo : J'ai mal au cœur. Sasha : Tu es dans ton lit ? Leo : Tu me manques, tu n'avais pas le droit de m'abandonner. Leo : J'aurais pas du vouloir mourir mais j'en ai envie tout le temps. Leo : J'ai tellement peur. Leo : J'ai besoin de toi. Leo : Mais je te hais et j'ai envie que tu restes en Suisse, que tu reviennes jamais, que tu cesses de te soucier de moi. Leo : Je ne veux pas que tu m'aimes et que tu penses à moi ça me rend trop triste. Leo : Je suis désolé je suis en train de pêter les plombs. Leo : Dis quelque chose. Sasha : Viens en Suisse. Sasha : On fera du ski jusqu'à être épuisé, tu ne penseras à rien d'autre qu'à moi, au froid et à la neige. Sasha : Le soir, on dormira allongé sur le tapis de fourrure de la cheminée. J'embrasserais tout doucement l'espace entre tes omoplates. Sasha : Je te murmurerais des mots d'amour. Sasha : Je ne dis pas que tu iras mieux. Mais pendant un moment, tu te sentiras bien. Leo : ... Leo : Je regarde les trains ? Sasha : Pour demain matin ? Leo : Tu veux bien ? Sasha : Oui. Leo : Alors oui. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- On est assis dans le jardin, dans la neige, dos contre dos. On écrit tous les deux dans notre journal. De temps à autre, il penche la tête en arrière sur mon épaule et il embrasse ma joue. Je tourne la tête et on s'embrasse sur la bouche un moment. Il est en train de croquer des morceaux de chocolat, j'en récupère un peu fondu sur ma langue. Et puis je profite à nouveau de la chaleur de son dos contre le mien. On est bien, là. Depuis deux jours, on est bien. On a fait tout ce que je lui avais vendu au téléphone : Skier jusqu'à épuisement, dormir sur la fourrure devant la cheminée, les baisers entre ses omoplates - bon, et entre ses cuisses aussi, au passage, mais... Bref, hein. On ne mange rien, par contre. Leo ne mange rien et du coup depuis qu'il est là, on s'est nourri essentiellement de galettes de riz et de chocolat chaud. Leo adore les galettes de riz. Ce truc sans gout, là. Bref. Mais il ne va pas bien. On essaye de déconnecter, de se mettre à l'abri du monde. Trois jours les yeux dans les yeux et les yeux dans la neige. Enroulés dans la fourrure blanche, à regarder la neige tomber. La nuit, il fait des cauchemars. Cette nuit, il est sorti sur mon balcon. Le froid m'a réveillé, il avait laissé la porte fenêtre ouverte. Il était assis sur le sol, le bout des orteils posés dans la neige qui était tombée sur le bois. Il regardait l'infini blanc devant lui. Je me suis accroupi à sa hauteur, je lui ai demandé ce qu'il faisait là et il m'a dit : - J'ai envie d'aller dans la neige. - Tu veux qu'on aille se promener ? - Tu ne comprends pas. J'ai pas envie de mettre une combinaison et d'aller regarder la neige. J'ai envie de passer cette barrière, de sauter dans la neige. - Mais ça te tuerais... - Oui. Je n'ai plus rien dit. Ça me faisait mal au ventre, tellement mal au ventre. Il s'est accroupi et il a tendu la main pour prendre une poignée de neige. Et il a continué. - J'ai envie que ça s'arrête, Sasha. - Je sais. - Est ce que je peux m'en aller dans la neige, s'il te plait ? Il me demandait ça comme il m'aurait demandé s'il pouvait avoir un verre de lait. - Leo... - Je suis désolé. Mais j'aimerais m'en aller, Sasha. J'avais envie de faire comme s'il n'était pas en train de dire ça alors j'ai répondu : - Tu veux rentrer à Lyon ? Il a baissé la tête. Il avait l'air... Déçu. Déçu par moi. Je ne savais pas quoi faire alors je l'ai serré dans mes bras. On est re-rentré dans ma chambre. Toute la nuit je l'ai serré dans mes bras et au matin, je suis allé voir mon père et je l'ai accompagné à un rendez-vous parce que j'avais besoin de passer une heure ou deux sans lui. Sans Leo. Donc... Ça ne va pas très bien. Mais... Je ne sais pas. J'ai envie de dire que tout va s'arranger et qu'on va trouver un moyen mais y a rien. Il n'y a rien du tout. Leo a cessé d'écrire et il est en train de me câliner. Je vais le câliner aussi. Il n'y a que ça que je parviens à faire. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- La Suisse. Leo + Sasha = Amour pour toujours. Y a de la neige. Sasha + Ski = Chute. Je suis en train de devenir fou Je suis en train de devenir fou Je suis en train de devenir fou Je suis en train de devenir fou Je suis en train de devenir fou Je suis en train de devenir fou 105 11921919 514 20181914 45 4522514918 61521 J'ai mal au ventre. Aujourd'hui : Quatre galettes de riz, deux chocolat viennois à la vanille de chez Starbucks. Pansements Mickey et Minnie Sasha a des chaussettes avec des hiboux. Hier, après qu'on se soit réchauffés et séchés devant le feu, j'ai embrassé ses pieds. Puis je suis remonté le long de ses mollets jusqu'à ses genoux. Et j'ai demandé encore : - Est ce que je peux m'en aller dans la neige, s'il te plait ? Ensuite je lui ai expliqué que si quelqu'un avait très froid et faisant de l'hypothermie il ne fallait pas le frotter partout pour le réchauffer parce que le sang froid dans les bras et les jambes remonterait dans le tronc et jusqu'au cœur et ça tue. Peut-être que j'ai envie qu'il me sauve. J'ai envie d'aller dans la neige. Il dort là. J'ai envie d'y aller. Sasha + Leo = La tête à toto. J'ai envie de rentrer à la maison. Gimli me manque. Je voudrais avoir sa fourrure contre ma poitrine et pleurer très longtemps. Sasha Sasha Sasha Sahsa. Sasha le chat. Leo le... Recherche : Animaux en O. Leo le animaux ? heu........................... Leo le veau. Magnifique. Sasha le chat. Je vais aller dans la neige. Maintenant. J'y vais. Avant je vais lui faire un bisou entre les oreilles de chat. Sasha + Leo = Amour jusqu'à que la mort nous sépare dans dix minutes. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Mon cœur, J'espère que tu es bien rentré à Lyon. Je comprends très bien que tu veuille te couper de ton portable pour un moment. Je suis sur que ça te fera du bien d'être déconnecté de tout et de moi un moment. Je comprends très bien. Envoie moi de tes nouvelles quand tu en as envie. C'est quasiment la première fois que je t'écris comme ça et je me dis que je devrais le faire plus souvent. Je me sens différent à taper au clavier comme ça, en sachant que je ne vais pas avoir une réponse directement. En sachant que ce n'est pas une conversation. J'ai été très heureux de cette semaine que l'on a passé tous les deux. J'ai hâte que l'on passe des week-ends tous les deux. Je pense que ça nous fera du bien d'avoir des moments comme ça, seulement nous deux. Cet été après le bac, j'espère que l'on partira en vacances ensembles. Et peut être qu'à la rentrée, on pourrait prendre un appartement tous les deux. En colocation, tu sais, avec une chambre chacun. On serait bien. Voilà. Et je t'aime. Je t'aime, Leo, comme jamais je n'ai aimé auparavant. Ca va bientôt faire un an et demi que je suis amoureux de toi. Je voudrais que cela ne cesse jamais. Je voudrais que le monde autour de nous soit avalé dans cette neige mais que toi et moi on en ressorte, vivants et heureux. Je veux t'aimer chaque jour, je veux embrasser ta nuque chaque jour et respirer ton parfum. Je me sens déjà mieux d'être ici avec mon père. Je vais aller mieux et bientôt j'aurais la force de nous soulever tous les deux. Passe une bonne fin de semaine, j'ai hâte de te serrer dans mes bras, de te respirer et de te caresser. Mange ! Je t'aime. Ton Sasha. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Je préfère qu'on ne se parle pas pour un moment. Parce que ça me fait mal au cœur d'être séparé de toi et que quand je te parle, ça me donne seulement envie de te serrer dans mes bras, et savoir que ce n'est pas possible, c'est trop dur. Je vais prendre un moment pour me reposer et ne plus penser qu'à moi. Je t'aime beaucoup, Sasha. Mais parfois, j'ai peur de mourir et je ne veux pas que tu sois là à penser à moi si je suis mort. Je sais ce que c'est de vivre avec un fantôme, et je ne souhaite ça à personne. Et pourtant, il n'y a rien que je puisse faire. Je ne peux pas effacer le lien qu'il y a entre nous. J'aimerais tellement, pourtant. Je ne voudrais pas effacer toutes les choses merveilleuses que tu as amenées dans ma vie avec toi, seulement les mauvaises que j'ai tracées sur ta peau à toi. J'ai besoin de temps. Je t'aime, Leo. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- C'était horrible d'écrire ce mail plein de mensonges. J'en ai écrit plein de versions, de plus en plus délirantes, avant d'écrire ça. J'avais mal au cœur. J'ai toujours mal au cœur. Je ne veux pas y aller. J'écris à l'arrière de la voiture alors j'ai encore plus mal au cœur. Je dois le faire exprès. Ça m'arrange d'avoir l'air mal. Que mes parents se sentent coupable au maximum. Je les déteste. Ils n'avaient pas le droit. Je leur ai dit que j'avais envie de vomir et mon père m'a dit d'arrêter d'écrire. Je ne veux pas y aller. Je ne veux pas aller. Ils n'ont pas le droit. Ca y est, j'y suis. La dernière chose que j'ai dit à mon père est " Je te déteste ". Il m'a répondu " Moi je t'aime. C'est pour ça que je fais ça. Et tu le sais très bien ". Ils n'arrêtent pas de venir me déranger. Je suis dans une chambre comme une chambre de pension ou d'hôtel vraiment minable, avec un lit, une table et une chaise. Je suis dans une maison de repos. Un genre d'hôpital. Psychiatrique. Ils n'ont pas le droit, c'est dégeulasse. Ça ne va pas m'aider. Ils ne peuvent pas m'aider. C'est une prison. Je ne veux pas être ici. Je veux rentrer chez moi. J'ai trop peur ici. Je ne veux pas leur parler. Je viens d'avoir un entretien avec un psy, un autre, et j'ai rien dit. Je ne veux pas parler. Depuis mon "je te déteste " à mon père, je n'ai rien dit et je ne veux plus rien dire. Je ne veux pas parler. J'ai mal au ventre. Et je pleure mais ça ne soulage pas. Je ne veux pas prendre leurs médocs. Je vais les cacher sous ma langue et les recracher. Et quand j'en aurais assez, hop, tous d'un coup. Je n'arrête pas de pleurer. J'en ai marre. Je veux rentrer à la maison. Date inconnue. Je ne sais plus. Ils filent les médocs et ils vérifient bien qu'on a avalé. Ils ont un système de niveau et plus le niveau est élevé plus on est en danger plus tout est horrible. Je suis arrivé niveau un comme tout le monde. Je crois que ça fait trois jours que je suis ici et je suis niveau cinq. Parce que je refuse de parler, que j'ai cassé des trucs, que je me suis entaillé le ventre, que je n'ai pas respecté le couvre-feu, que j'ai insulté un infirmier et... Je ne sais même plus. Je n'ai plus mon portable ni mon ordinateur ni rien dans ma chambre. Ils m'ont enlevés tout ce qui était très vaguement coupant, pointu ou doté de ficelles. Pas de ceintures, pas de lacets. Crayon à papier, jogging et vans. Pas d'affaires personnelles. Seulement mon journal. Je suis en prison. Comment est-ce que je suis sensé aller mieux dans un endroit comme ça ? Comment peut-on dire marche ou crève à des gens qui veulent déjà crever ? Je ne mange pas. Ils vont me mettre en intraveineuse demain si je ne recommence pas à manger. Je vais aller me jeter contre les murs pour voir s'ils m'attachent au lit. Un autre jour. J'ai chialé pendant des heures jusqu'à avoir les yeux explosés. J'ai mangé du chocolat, je l'ai vomi parce que mon estomac ne supportait pas d'ingérer autant de sucre après des privations. J'ai dit à un psy plein plein plein de trucs et demain matin je pourrais parler à mes parents si je suis sage ce soir. Je n'en peux plus. Je ferais n'importe quoi pour rentrer chez moi. Finalement on n'est pas sensé aller mieux, on est censé être tellement mal qu'on accepte d'aller mieux pour ne plus subir ça. Je n'en peux plus. Les vacances sont finies. Les cours ont repris, c'est l'année du bac et je rate des cours parce que je suis dans un centre pour les fous suicidaires. C'est dégeulasse. Et Sasha est en suisse. Je ne veux pas penser à Sasha, je veux oublier qu'il existe. Encore un autre jour. Je dors tout le temps. Il y a le réveil et les repas et entre les deux il y a des activités et des groupes de parole mais à part les repas et les entretiens quotidiens avec les psys, je dors toute la journée. Et toutes les nuits. Ce n'est pas dormir, c'est sombrer dans les limbes. J'ai parlé à mes parents mais je ne sais plus si c'était hier ou avant hier. Je les aie suppliés de venir me chercher mais ils ont dit que je devais redescendre au niveau un ou deux pour pouvoir sortir et je suis encore au niveau quatre. Je ne sais pas ce que je vais faire. Je suis au fond d'un puit et il pleut sur moi. Je meurs. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Sasha : Leo ? Sasha : S'il te plait, réponds-moi. Tu n'es pas obligé de me parler, mais tu ne réponds ni à mes mails, ni à mes sms et... C'est comme si tu avais disparu. Sasha : Ça me fait peur. Sasha : Je suis désolé d'être parti. Sasha : Mais ne me punis pas comme ça, je t'en prie. Sasha : Ou demande moi de revenir, mais ne fais pas ça. Sasha : Je t'aime tellement. Leo : Sasha, c'est le père de Leo. Il n'a plus le droit d'utiliser son ordinateur pour l'instant, ni son téléphone, je suis désolé. Mais il va bien. Sasha s'est déconnecté. Sasha s'est connecté. Sasha : Excusez-moi. Sasha : Il va bien ? Leo : Oui. Sasha : Et il va être privé longtemps de son ordinateur et de son téléphone ? Leo : Je n'en sais rien. Je n'espère pas. Sasha : ...D'accord. Sasha : Vous pouvez lui dire qu'il me manque, s'il vous plait ? Leo : Je transmettrais. Sasha : Merci. Bonne journée. Au revoir. Leo : De même. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Cadrage sur une banderole en papier " Bon retour à la maison, Leo ", puis sur Ingrid, la mère de Leo, en train de s'affairer à ranger un peu la pièce pourtant parfaitement propre et rangée. Sur le canapé, Juliette et trois autres personnes non identifiables sont assises et discutent. La personne qui tient la caméra, Elios, semble-t-il, se dirige vers Sasha, appuyé contre le mur. - Ca va aller ? - Non. - Mais si. La caméra s'éloigne de Sasha et va voir au niveau de Juliette. Des mots gentils, des " tu nous as manqués " et des " bon rétablissements " sont filmés. La caméra se tourne brusquement vers la porte et l'on voit, au bout de quelques secondes, apparaître Leo, visiblement au courant de la fête, et son père derrière lui. Leo semble très affaibli, il nage dans son pull et il est crispé. La caméra est fixée sur lui. Il regarde vers le mur, très immobile. Sa mère se jette sur lui pour l'enlacer, suivie de Juliette, des autres personnes, et la caméra change de mains. Elios serre Leo dans ses bras et puis on voit Leo s'avancer vers la caméra, l'air très hésitant. Il s'arrête devant. La caméra filme son visage. Il regarde à coté, puis fixe l'objectif. Il a l'air triste. Il dit : - Je t'aime, Sasha. La caméra semble tomber, comme si la personne qui la tenait laissait ses bras retomber contre son corps. Puis elle n'est plus dirigée, et l'on aperçoit des gros plans de tissus, de cheveux et enfin le mur. Elle change de mains à nouveau. On entend le rire d'Elios tandis qu'il filme Leo et Sasha en train de s'embrasser et de se serrer très fort l'un dans les bras de l'autre. Sasha pleure. La caméra se coupe. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Leo est tout maigre contre moi. Ses parents m'ont dit qu'il avait repris du poids, sinon il n'aurait pas pu sortir de l'hôpital. Ça veut dire qu'il a été encore plus maigre que ça. Ça fait peur. Il est roulé en boule dans mes bras. Il porte toujours son grand pull blanc, remonté un peu, de façon à ce que je puisse glisser mes mains dessous. Caresser son ventre. Ses cheveux sont un peu trop longs, ils effleurent ses épaules. Son visage parait plus pâle encore, encadré par tout ce noir. Il m'a tellement manqué. Mais il est là, maintenant. Et moi aussi, presque. Je vais passer mon bac en Suisse. C'est trop bon de vivre avec mon père pour que je m'en prive. Mais on va essayer de se voir un week-end sur deux au minimum. Et on va passer notre été ensemble. On en a discuté toute la soirée. A la rentrée de Septembre, on va prendre un appartement tous les deux. Et on va acheter un deuxième lapin pour faire ami avec Gimli. Je l'aime. Je l'aime tellement. Tout va s'arranger, maintenant. Quand on est allés se coucher, il y a quelques heures, c'était tellement naturel. Qu'on soit tous les deux dans son lit comme avant. Ses parents n'ont rien dit du tout, seulement qu'on irait bruncher aujourd'hui et donc qu'on devait se lever avant onze heures. J'ai l'impression de faire partie de leur famille. Et... C'est vraiment agréable. Il est déjà dix heures, je vais peut-être le réveiller. Mais il dort dans mes bras, là, c'est tellement agréable. Son odeur... Mon amour. Son odeur contre la mienne. Je crois que je ne vais pas le réveiller tout de suite. Je vais le garder dans mes bras et lui dire des mots d'amour encore et encore. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Je suis dans le couloir devant le bureau de ma CPE, avec mon père. Je retourne en classe. J'ai raté quasiment un mois de cours. Je dois aller dans un hôpital tous les mercredis après-midi et les samedis toutes la journée pendant un mois, et ensuite on verra. Ils me pèseront à chaque fois pour vérifier que je mange. J'aurais aussi des examens pour vérifier que je ne me suis pas fait de mal. Et que je ne me drogue pas. J'ai rigolé pour le dernier mais eux ça ne les fait pas rire. Je les emmerde tous. Mais c'était les conditions pour sortir de l'hôpital. Oh et puis j'ai dit je t'aime à Sasha, aussi, et le monde ne s'est pas écroulé. Ce qui est plutôt une bonne nouvelle. Enfin voilà. Voilà ou l'on en est. J'ai l'impression de revenir d'une espèce de guerre. Mon corps ressemble à une page d'un livre qu'on aurait froissée et sur laquelle on aurait laissé des tâches d'encre, des traces de doigts. J'ai des marques partout. Mes os ressortent. Et dans ma tête, c'est comme si on avait allumé au feu au milieu de la page. Ils ne restent que des bords noircis et des braises qui sont tombées au fond de mon cerveau et qui brulent tout. Voilà, je suis en classe. La CPE m'a ramené en plein milieu du cours d'Anglais et a fait un petit discours disant que j'avais été malade, sans plus de précisions. C'est ce qui avait été dit, de toute façon, pendant mon absence. Maintenant je suis assis au fond et... Sasha n'est pas là. Et ça, c'est dégueulasse. Il était encore avec moi hier. On a quasiment passé la journée dans mon lit. On a brunché dehors avec mes parents et ensuite on est retournés au lit. A un moment, mon père est venu, et puis ma mère, et on a regardé un film tous les quatre. Ensuite, quand on a été à nouveau tous les deux, on a longtemps discutés. Pour la première fois, on a pu réellement parler de tout ce qui n'allait pas chez moi. Et l'on s'est fait des promesses. - J'aimerais bien, avec un balcon. - Alors il faut que ce soit dans un endroit joli à regarder. - Et avec trois pièces. - Pourquoi trois ? - Parce que je veux ma propre chambre. Sasha n'a pas boudé. Il n'a pas récrié, il n'a pas... Il s'est seulement tourné sur le ventre et j'ai observé les muscles fins de son dos en mouvement. On aurait dit les ailes d'un oiseau. - Je comprends. J'ai embrassé son dos, j'ai grimpé contre lui, je l'ai enlacé. J'ai dit : - Je t'aime. Il a ronronné. Il a murmuré : - Je voudrais que tu ne cesses jamais de me le dire. - J'ai beaucoup de je t'aime à rattraper. - Je t'aime aussi. - Je sais. On n'a pas fait l'amour. On a parlé de l'appartement que l'on voulait, puis de ce qu'on fera pendant les vacances, et l'année prochaine. Prépa pour moi, Science Politiques pour Sasha. On se tenait l'un l'autre, affalés et on s'embrassait entre les mots. Il m'a dit... Récréation. Tout le monde veut me parler mais je reste collé à Elios et Juliette. C'est horrible d'être là sans Sasha. On m'a demandé si c'était à cause de lui que j'avais été malade. Pfff. Bande de cons. Je n'aurais pas dû revenir au lycée. J'aurais pu préparer le bac depuis chez moi. Je ne peux pas aller en Suisse avec Sasha pour faire ça ? Ça serait bien. Je suis chez moi. Je suis épuisé. J'attends que Sasha se connecte sur Skype et qu'on puisse parler. Il m'a dit... J'étais allongé et il s'est mis au-dessus de moi, il m'a pris les mains et il m'a dit : - Tu ne partiras pas dans le froid. Il a posé mes mains sur son torse. - Tu ne partiras pas dans le froid. Tu ne vas pas mourir. Tu ne vas pas me quitter, tu ne vas pas t'en aller. Tu es mon premier amour, tu es la seule personne qui compte, tu es tout ce que je désire et dont j'ai besoin. Tu ne partiras pas dans le froid ou bien je partirais avec toi. J'ai fermé les yeux. Des larmes ont coulées vers mes tempes quand je les aie rouvert et il y en avait sur son visage aussi. - On va vivre ensemble, Leo. - Je sais. - Non. Je ne parle pas d'habiter ensemble. On va VIVRE ensemble. Notre vie. Ensemble. Il a serré très fort mes doigts posés sur sa peau. Il a fermé les yeux en essayant de ne pas pleurer d'avantage, mais sa voix s'est brisée. - On va vivre. Tu vas vivre. Tu ne vas pas mourir et tu vas vivre avec moi. Ta vie, elle va se dérouler tout contre la mienne. Il sanglotait. - Tu es d'accord ? J'ai remonté nos mains contre son visage, je l'ai attiré à moi. J'ai embrassé les larmes, j'ai embrassé sa bouche. J'ai murmuré : - D'accord. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Fichiers de la clinique St Joseph en date du mercredi 18 avril 2014 Nom du patient : Leo Clarence Age du patient : 17 ans Nature du problème médicale : Coupure profonde à l'avant-bras Soins réalisés : Huit points de sutures Notes : Tentative de Suicide non reconnue par le patient. Présence de coupures superficielles sur tout le bras gauche. Dossier transmis au centre psychiatrique du Vinatier. Fichiers de la clinique du Vinatier en date du samedi 21 avril 2014 Nom du patient : Leo Clarence Age du patient : 17 ans Patient adressé par : Maria Sauvage, psychiatre chef de la clinique St-Joseph-St Luc Notes : Patient arrivé en journée pour se faire prescrire des antidépresseurs. A refusé d'être hospitalisé pour la nuit malgré son état de nervosité. Est rentré chez lui avec une prescription pour du Xanax. Dossier retransmis à la clinique St Joseph St Luc. Notes de Dora Lessing, Psychiatre de Leo, transmise à la clinique du Vinatier, en date du mardi 27 avril 2014 Nom du Patient : Leo Clarence. Age : 17 ans. Type de suivi : Rencontres psychothérapiques d'urgence. Notes : Patient très diminué ayant besoin d'une hospitalisation urgente en maison de repos pour reprendre des forces. Peut se montrer violent envers les autres. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- J'ai retiré 500 euros en liquide sur le compte de mon père et j'ai remis sa carte dans son portefeuille. J'ai fait mon sac. J'y ai mis trois caleçons, trois tee-shirts et trois paires de chaussettes propres, ma brosse à dents et mon dentifrice, mon pull-over préféré, mon k-way, mon IPod avec deux batteries d'urgence, mes écouteurs, mon journal, mon stylo encre avec une boite de cartourches, ma gourde de randonnée d'1L remplie, la peluche du Chat du Cheshire que m'a offert Sasha à mon anniversaire, mon album photo et un Harry Potter. J'ai mon passeport, ma carte vitale et les 500 euros en liquide de mon père dans la poche intérieure de ma veste. J'ai rempli la mangeoire de Gimli a ras bord. Et je me suis barré. J'ai fait le truc que je rêve de faire depuis que je suis gamin. Une fugue. Je n'irais pas dans leur saloperie d'hôpital. Je m'en fous. Je n'irais pas. Bande de sales enfoirés. J'ai réussi à faire tenir toutes mes affaires dans mon sac de cours, même si la peluche de chat a failli le faire déborder. Du coup, j'ai l'air d'un adolescent normal un jeudi soir normal. Rien d'affolant. Je vais prendre le train pour Genève. Si je vais assez vite ils n'auront jamais le temps d'alerter la police ou je ne sais pas quoi. Je suis dans le bus, là. J'ai laissé mon téléphone portable sur mon lit pour ne pas que l'on puisse me tracer avec ou je ne sais quoi. Pour ne pas que je craque et que je réponde à mes parents affolés, surtout. Je n'ai pas laissé de lettres. Mon geste est très clair, il me semble. Je les déteste tous. Ils ne comprennent rien à ce dont j'ai besoin. S'ils comprenaient, ils n'essaieraient pas de me renvoyer en prison. Au Vinatier, en plus. Avec les fous. Je n'irais pas. Je suis dans le train, ça y est. Mort de peur qu'on vienne m'arrêter, qu'on me force à aller à l'hôpital. Il y a des choses qui peuvent me faire aller mieux, ils ne comprennent pas. Ils ne comprennent jamais rien. Jamais rien On est partis. Je suis épuisé, je vais m'endormir. Musique aux oreilles, ma peluche chat dans les bras. Je ne peux pas dormir. J'ai laissé tous mes médocs à la maison et après des mois à m'en gaver, le manque me fait trop mal. Je suis tellement nerveux, je n'arrête pas de m'agiter, j'ai des tics. Je suis dans les toilettes. Il faut que j'enlève mes points de sutures. De toute façon ça fait treize jours. Je suis sensé les enlever dans deux jours. J'ai ce qu'il faut sur le mini couteau suisse accroché à mes clés. Il faut juste que je trouve le courage parce que j'ai peur et que mes mains tremblent. Mais il faut que je les enlève. Je me suis fait mal en enlevant les fils, du coup je saigne. Mais ce n'est pas grand-chose. J'ai vraiment une cicatrice moche sur le bras maintenant. Une espèce de bourrelet rose qui capte la lumière. Une chéloïde, ça s'appelle. On va bientôt arriver à Genève. Après, il faut encore que j'aille jusqu'à Gstaad. Il doit bien y avoir des trains. Je suis dans le train pour Gstaad. J'ai passé deux heures dans la gare de Genève assis par terre dans la librairie de la gare à lire des bandes dessinées. J'avais horriblement faim alors j'ai acheté une boite de meringues double crème fierté suisse blablabla, j'en ai mangé presque la moitié avant de tout vomir dans une poubelle. Quelle horreur. Et maintenant je suis dans le train pour Gstaad et j'ai l'impression d'être sale, d'être couvert de sueur et de crasse. J'aimerais prendre une douche. Et me couper les cheveux. Il faut que je me coupe les cheveux. Je ne l'ai pas fait depuis..... Je peux me faire des chignons si j'ai envie mais en général je les laisse juste pendre. Je vais arranger ça. Je viens de me couper les cheveux dans les toilettes avec un ciseau emprunté à un gamin. La nana à côté de moi n'en croyait pas ses yeux quand elle m'a vu revenir. J'ai coupé au moins quinze centimètres. Maintenant je ressemble à Gavroche ou à un fugueur de la DASS. J'ai des petits cheveux partout sur mes fringues et du sang sur la manche de mon tee-shirt. Je voudrais prendre une douche. Je suis dans le taxi qui m'emmène chez Sasha. Je me suis passé les cheveux et le visage sous l'eau dans les toilettes de la gare de Gstaad, j'ai mis un de mes tee-shirts propres. J'ai l'air... C'est pire. Parce qu'avant j'avais l'air d'un vagabond mais maintenant je ressemble à une victime de je ne sais pas quoi. A une victime, en tout cas. J'espère qu'au moins Sasha est chez lui. Il est presque 23h, ça craint. Je m'en fous, je suis venu depuis Lyon pour lui. J'espère qu'il n'est pas en boite. J'espère qu'il n'est pas en train de baiser avec son meilleur pote. J'espère que je ne vais pas mourir. J'espère vraiment que je ne vais pas mourir. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Leo s'est endormi pendant que le médecin lui collait un pansement sur le bras, là où il lui a fait une piqure. Et moi je l'ai décollé et j'ai mis un pansement Disney Princesse à la place pour ne pas que ça soit un mauvais souvenir. Mon père est au téléphone avec celui de Leo, je les entends discuter dans la pièce d'à côté. Moi je suis allongé à côté de lui. A lui caresser les cheveux tout en écrivant. Mon amour... Il est arrivé hier soir, un peu avant minuit. J'étais en train de souper avec mon père. On avait diné à une espèce de réception à la noix pour son travail avant et il y avait un buffet végétarien absolument nase, du coup en rentrant, on s'est fait des cordons bleu et des raviolis et on était en train de les manger en regardant la télévision quand Leo a sonné Il s'est effondré dans mes bras comme une poupée de chiffon et ça a été le début de la fin. Ça va mieux, maintenant. Le médecin a dit qu'il n'avait rien, qu'il était seulement affaibli et surement un peu malade, une petite allergie au pollen ou ce genre de choses, mais rien de grave. Il lui a fait une piqure de vitamines et puis dans quelques heures, ça ira. Et il me parlera. Parce qu'il n'a pas trop parlé depuis hier. Il m'est tombé dans les bras et il a dit des trucs mais je ne comprenais rien parce qu'il était trop triste et complètement incohérent. Il a coupé ses cheveux mais son coiffeur devait être un toiletteur ou un jardinier parce que c'est très mal fait. Je voudrais lui demander pourquoi il est là. Il se réveille. Leo est au téléphone avec ses parents. Il ne dit pas grand chose, il répète les mêmes trucs en boucle de temps à autre, sans avoir l'air d'écouter. Quand il s'est réveillé tout à l'heure, il a regardé autour de lui et puis il a souri. Un sourire trop malheureux pour être beau. Trop brisé. Ses yeux ne brillaient pas assez. Il a tendu une main vers mon visage et je sais que ça faisait deux semaines que je ne l'avais pas vu mais je n'aurais pas pensé qu'il aurait pu changer autant en si peu de temps. Ses doigts étaient comme décharnés. Je les aient embrassés avant qu'ils ne touchent ma joue. Et puis avant qu'il ne parle, j'ai craqué brusquement. - Tu ne devais pas mourir... - Mais je ne meurs pas. Je suis venu te rejoindre. Il s'est redressé un peu on l'on s'est embrassé un moment. Ça faisait toujours autant de bien, peut-être même plus. Ensuite mon père est venu nous apporter un plateau de petit déjeuner et il a dit qu'il fallait que Leo parle à ses parents, qu'ils étaient très inquiets mais qu'ils ne se mettraient pas en colère. Mais que d'abord il devait manger. Leo a mangé. Maintenant il parle à ses parents. Et ce qu'il dit, je trouve ça terrifiant. - Je vais rester en Suisse. - Je vais rester en Suisse. Je vais réviser mon bac ici et je rentrerais pour le passer, dans un mois et demi. Non, je vais rester en Suisse. Non maman. Je vais rester avec Sasha. Je ne rentrerais pas sans Sasha. Il a tout prévu. Et ce n'est pas que ça ne me plait pas mais ça me fait peur. A la fin il a raccroché. Le téléphone a sonné à nouveau aussitôt parce qu'il leur avait raccroché au nez et quand mon père s'est approché pour le prendre, Leo a posé sa main dessus et l'a fusillé du regard. - Ne faites pas ça. Il m'a fait flipper. Mon père n'a pas apprécié mais il avait du boulot alors il nous a laissé là en attendant. Je vais m'occuper de lui. Leo est en train de prendre une douche. Je suis assis par terre dans la salle de bains et je le regarde pour vérifier qu'il ne fait aucune connerie. Et on est en train d'avoir une discussion complètement surréaliste. - Tu m'aimes ? - Bien sur que je t'aime. - Même si je deviens fou ? - Oui. - Même si je deviens méga-cinglé ? - Méga-cinglé comment ? - Je ne sais pas. Méga-cinglé. - Ca n'arrivera pas. Il a brusquement dévié le jet d'eau de la douche vers les lavabos et a arrosé le grand miroir et toutes mes affaires. Puis il l'a remis correctement et il m'a dit : - Ah ouais ? Il me fait flipper. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Deux tickets de Cinéma pour le Film " Le chasseur et la reine des glaces" daté du Mardi 3 mai 2016, séance de 20h15, au cinéma théâtre de Gstaad Note : L'un des deux tickets porte les traces d'un pliage en origami, en forme de cœur. Ticket de caisse daté du Mardi 3 mai 2016, 22h47, du Restaurant Muli à Gstaad Deux menus Nuit Etoilée Un kir royal Deux chocolats chaud Note : Un numéro de téléphone est griffonné à l'arrière du ticket avec la mention " Estéban ". Ticket de caisse du magasin Ralph Lauren, 23 an der Promenade 3780 Gstaad Switzerland, daté du Vendredi 6 mai 2016, 11h18 Pull Polo en lin et cachemire 414.670 CHF (399E) Polo cintré à manches longues blanc 102.888 CHF ( 99 E) Slip boxer en coton motif Paisley 31,12 CHF (29,95E) Photo souvenir prise devant le château de Greyerz daté du Samedi 7 mai 2016 On y voit Sasha et Leo prenant la pose devant le château. Le bras de Sasha est enroulé autour des épaules de Leo, qui sourit un peu, son bras autour de la taille de Sasha. Prospectus provenant de la Fabrique de chocolat Cailler, Broc, ainsi qu'un ticket de caisse datant du Mercredi 11 mai 2016, 17h55, pour l'achat de quatre boites suprêmes Deluxe mélanges variés de chocolat Cailler Broc. Note : A l'intérieur du Prospectus est écrit à la main : " Je t'aime, tu n'es pas fou mais je suis fou de toi. Sasha. " Echantillon de sel souvenir et ticket de caisse correspondant daté du samedi 14 mai 2016 des Mines de Sel de Bex, ainsi qu'une photo polaroid montrant Leo en train d'observer les sculptures de Sel. On aperçoit dans un coin le guide faisant signe à Sasha de baisser son appareil car les photos sont interdites. Deux tickets d'entrées datés du Samedi 21 mai 2014, pour le JungfrauPark, Interlaken, un parc d'attraction familial, ainsi que plusieurs tickets de caisse devenus partiellement illisible car délavés, semblant correspondre à un restaurant du parc et à une boutique de souvenirs. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- L'enregistrement montre Leo et Sasha allongés dans le lit, regardant la webcam de l'ordinateur posée sur le côté. Leo tortille un bracelet qu'il a au poignet et Sasha l'embrasse dans le cou. C'est Sasha qui prend la parole en premier. - Bon. Dans la mesure où nos deux journaux intimes sont arrivés à leurs termes en même temps... - C'est une idée débile. - Non. - Si. Ça n'a rien à voir. - Je n'ai pas parlé de le faire tout le temps. J'ai dit qu'on irait acheter de nouveaux journaux demain. - Hmm. - J'ai envie d'avoir une trace du son de ta voix si jamais tu disparais. Parce que j'ai toujours peur que tu disparaisses. On voit Leo regarder Sasha un moment sans rien dire, puis se redresser et l'embrasser doucement. Murmures inaudibles. Puis Leo s'installe face à la caméra à coté de Sasha. - C'est d'accord, dans ce cas. - Bien. Merci. Donc, je disais... Je disais quoi ? - Tu comptais les jours qu'il restait avant le bac. - Oui. Tu me passe la feuille des dates ? On voit Leo ramasser une liasse de feuille par terre et les feuilleter. - Ah, voilà. Lundi 20 juin, Philo. - On va être tous les deux. Leo détourne la tête pour sourire à Sasha : - On ne sera pas dans la même salle, avec nos noms de famille. C et N, c'est trop éloigné. - C'est nul. - Non. On le passe dans le même lycée, c'est déjà bien. Arrête de te plaindre. - Hmm. Je t'aime. - Moi aussi. Ils s'embrassent. Leo reprend : - Mardi, Histoire-Geo. Je déteste. Mercredi, Anglais. Facile. - Facile. - Jeudi, Litté. Vendredi, Math pour moi et Grec pour toi. - Ensuite, week-end. - Oui. Et Lundi, espagnol pour moi et allemand pour toi. - Une corde. - Pareil. Leo lance la feuille en l'air et la laisse retomber. Il se blottit dans les bras de Sasha. - J'en ai marre de réviser. - On ne révise que trois heures par jour. - C'est chiant. - Les autres bossent toutes la journée. - Même. - C'est toi qui es chiant. - Eteins la caméra et fais-moi des bisous partout. - Pas la peine d'éteindre la caméra. Leo tape Sasha, qui arrête sa main avec un froncement de sourcils. - Ne fais pas ça. - Désolé. Mais t'es chiant. - Mmmh. Ils ne se parlent pas pendant une dizaine de secondes. Puis Leo frotte son visage contre l'épaule de Sasha. - Merci d'être là. - J'aime être là. Leo cache son visage. - Tu veux toujours qu'on vive ensemble à la rentrée ? - Pourquoi je ne voudrais plus ? - Ça fait vingt jours qu'on vit ensemble. Tu n'en as pas horriblement marre de moi ? - Non. - Vraiment ? - Vraiment. J'adore être avec toi. Même si tu me fais peur, parfois. Je t'aime plus que tout. Ils s'embrassent, un petit peu puis de plus en plus. On entend la voix de Leo : - Coupe la caméra... La main de Sasha, hésitante, s'approche, puis l'ordinateur se ferme et la vidéo se termine. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- C'est ma dernière nuit chez Sasha. Je ne suis pas rentré une seule fois à Lyon depuis ma fugue, mais mes parents sont venus deux weekends. Il va me manquer. On ne va pas être séparés très longtemps, je pense même qu'à peu de choses près on va se voir chaque jour mais on ne va pas être 24h sur 24 ensemble avant un bon mois, quand on partira en vacances tous les deux. Ça m'a fait du bien. Je ne sais pas si je vais bien, mais je vais mieux. Ce n'était pas difficile, d'accord. J'ai envie de le réveiller et de lui demander pardon et de lui dire merci parce qu'il m'a sauvé. Pendant quarante-cinq jours tout contre moi et pendant un an et demi de plus loin, il m'a sauvé. Et j'ai été une vraie ordure, tout ce mois. Dingue et dangereux, épuisé et épuisant. Mais il a pris soin de moi. Il m'a aimé. Il m'aime. Je raconte n'importe quoi mais je crois que c'est ce qui se rapproche le plus près du bonheur. Demain matin, on rentre à Lyon pour le bac. Sasha vient avec son père et ils vont dans l'appartement de Sasha, celui en face de chez moi qui est vide depuis des mois. Je suis fatigué, je devrais dormir. Mais je le regarde allongé contre moi et j'ai envie de l'embrasser partout. J'ai envie de lui dire que je l'aime, que je n'aime que lui et que je pourrais n'aimer que lui pour le restant de ma vie, aussi long puisse-t-elle être. Je suis sur le balcon. J'avais besoin de regarder à nouveau la vue, une dernière fois, en souvenir de toutes les nuits que l'on a passé à fumer et à s'aimer sur le balcon. Je crois que j'ai besoin de faire le point sur ma situation. Et ce que je me dis... Je crois que ça n'ira jamais vraiment bien. Mais... Je l'accepte. Il y a quelque chose à moi qui a éclot, comme une fleur vénéneuse qui pousse dans mon cœur et ma gorge. Dangereuse, mais maitrisable. Elle me remplit. Elle me définit. Et je n'ai pas envie de l'arracher, j'ai trop peur de détruire mon cœur au passage. Alors, je la garde, ma fleur vénéneuse. Je l'accepte. Elle fait partie de moi. Je vais aller me recoucher maintenant. Et faire des câlins à Sasha. Et l'aimer, l'aimer, l'aimer. L'enlacer et m'y enraciner. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Je pensais que je serais malade comme un chien, le matin du bac de philo. Je suis dans le salon, à prendre mon petit déjeuner. Et je ne suis même pas stressé. J'ai mal au cœur, et je me sens... Vide, un peu. Mais je ne suis pas stressé. Je passe mes épreuves au lycée Louis Lumière. Mon père nous emmène en voiture, Sasha et moi. Il est déjà sept heures dix, et même si ce n'est qu'à vingt minutes de trajet, on va partir dans quelques minutes. Je ne suis pas stressé, mais si j'arrive en retard, je vais l'être. Je ne sais pas pourquoi je ne suis pas stressé. Je crois que ma vie a été tellement monstrueuse ces derniers mois, que le bac... Pfff. Voilà. Sasha est à la porte. Je reviens après le bac. Je suis complètement dans le brouillard. Après l'épreuve, on est allé manger au restaurant avec Sasha, Juliette et Elios, et en fait, tous les gens de ma classe qui passaient le bac au lycée Lumière. Ensuite, on est rentré, Sasha est venu avec moi et on s'est effondrés tous les deux sur mon lit et on a dormi. Enfin moi, j'ai dormi. Lui, je pense qu'il a bouquiné et tout ça. Là, je viens de me réveiller. Dans le brouillard. Il est seulement quinze heures, j'ai à peine dormi une heure. Sasha me caresse les cheveux. Mais je n'aime pas parce que je sais qu'il fait ça pour pouvoir jeter un œil à ce que j'écris, donc je me suis décalé. L'épreuve était... Dure. Enfin non. Elle n'était pas dure, je suis persuadé que je vais m'en tirer avec au moins un quinze. Mais le sujet m'a donné envie de pleurer. Du coup, au lieu de pleurer, je me suis défoncé sur la copie et j'ai fait dix pages. " Doit-on tout faire pour être heureux ? " On doit, oui. Quand on est comme moi, que dans sa vie on a un Sasha, on doit tout faire pour être heureux, et le rendre heureux, et mes parents, et moi même. On doit tout faire, parce que sinon on doit mourir. On doit courir vers le bonheur parce que si on cesse de courir, on chute et on meurt et tout devient douloureux autour de nous. Mais peut être qu'il faut être capable d'accepter que l'on ne sera jamais pleinement heureux. Que l'on a chacun dans le ventre une plante carnivore que l'on nourrit à loisir. Je n'ai pas écrit ça comme ça, bien sur. Et je n'ai pas parlé de Sasha. Mais voilà. Et après, pendant qu'on mangeait tous, moi j'avais envie de pleurer et je n'ai rien dit. On a parlé de l'épreuve, il n'y avait que Sasha et moi qui avions pris ce sujet, les autres avaient pris celui sur l'art ou l'explication du texte de Popper. Alors, j'ai quand même dit que j'avais dit oui, qu'il fallait tout faire, et puis c'était bon. Je me suis blotti contre Sasha, j'étais fatigué. Et on est rentré, et j'ai dormi, et demain il y a le bac d'Histoire-géographie, et je crois que tout va bien se passer. Par contre, Sasha ne supporte pas le stress comme moi. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- J'ai V-O-M-I-S ce matin avant l'épreuve de philo. Avant d'arriver chez Leo. Et honnêtement, quand j'ai vu le sujet, j'ai failli vomir sur ma copie. J'ai eu envie de me précipiter hors de la salle, et d'aller faire un câlin à mon petit ami en lui disant des trucs mignons tellement j'avais peur que le sujet le bouleverse. Moi, il m'a retourné les tripes. Du coup, j'ai écris... Des horreurs. Je pense que je vais me ramasser un trois et l'adresse d'un bon psychologue. J'aurais tellement voulu écrire " Oui, on doit tout faire pour être heureux, on doit se battre comme des dingues, on doit se défoncer, on doit tout donner pour accéder au bonheur, putain, on doit tout faire, c'est trop important, c'est capital ". Tu parles. Je n'ai même pas fait de plan. J'ai écris ce qui me passait par la tête. Que le bonheur est fragile. Et que nos ombres si légères peuvent demain se changer en pierre. C'est quand je me suis rendu compte que j'étais en train de citer la comédie musicale de Roméo et Juliette que je me suis calmé et que j'ai essayé de ne pas dire N'IMPORTE QUOI. Mais au final... J'ai dit n'importe quoi. Qu'il ne fallait pas tout faire pour être heureux. Que le bonheur n'était qu'un variable de l'équation. Que l'on pouvait s'en passer. Que ce n'était pas essentiel. Et... J'ai conclu par... Attention roulements de tambour... " On peut être heureux sans le bonheur " Trois sur vingt, bravo l'artiste. Adieu grandes écoles, bonjour la fac d'art. Bref. Après le repas, on était tous un peu laminés, mais Leo était carrément zombifié. Il s'est tenu prostré contre moi. Quand on est rentrés chez lui, il s'est carrément écroulé dans son lit pour dormir. Je suis resté près de lui à bouquiner. Et après, quand il a été réveillé, on a fait l'amour, on a mangé les crêpes que son père avait faites, et je suis rentré. Je suis dans mon lit, là. Mais je n'arrête pas de penser au sujet de philo. Parce qu'il l'a pris aussi. Et je me demande ce qu'il a répondu. Parce que j'ai peur que ça l'ait bouleversé. Mais je ne sais pas trop comment demander. Je vais lui envoyer un sms. Ca serait plus logique de descendre le voir, mais nos parents ont mis le hola, au moins la semaine du bac. SMS : Tu as répondu qu'on était pas obligé d'être heureux ? Il réponds vite. Il devait avoir son portable dans les mains. SMS de Leo : Pas du tout. J'ai répondu qu'il fallait tout faire pour. SMS : Vraiment ? SMS de Leo : Mais oui. Ce n'est pas ce que tu as répondu ? SMS : Non. J'ai dit que ce n'était pas obligatoire. SMS de Leo : T'es drôlement con. Ok, alors, vas te faire foutre. Je vais diner. Leo m'a envoyé quatre sms le temps que je dine. SMS de Leo : Sasha ? SMS de Leo : Tu fais la tête ? SMS de Leo : Ne me fais pas la tête... SMS de Leo : Moi, je vais tout faire pour être heureux. Pour que tu le sois aussi. Abruti fini. SMS : Je dinais. SMS de Leo : Mmmm. SMS : Tu penses que je suis con d'avoir dit que ce n'était pas obligatoire ? Le bonheur ? SMS de Leo : Je pense que tu t'es beaucoup inquiété pour moi ces derniers temps et c'est entièrement de ma faute et j'espère que tu ne penseras plus ça parce que je vais aller mieux. SMS : On sort courir ? SMS de Leo : Tu prends mon père pour un con ? SMS : Je veux juste un bisou de bonne nuit. SMS de Leo : Passerelle dans cinq minutes. Allez, je file. Le père de Leo n'est PAS con. Du coup, il a dit à Leo qu'il revenait dans dix minutes ou qu'il allait le chercher lui même. Donc on seulement eu le temps de s'embrasser, de se câliner et de se dire que l'on s'aimait. De toute façon, mon père nous emmène passer l'épreuve d'Histoire demain. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- La caméra fait face au très grand lit de Sasha, et semble posée sur ses jambes. Il est appuyé contre les coussins. A côté de lui, Leo est plongé dans Guerre et Paix, mais jette un œil méfiant à la caméra. Sasha : Tu poses ton livre, mon bébé ? Leo referme son livre et le pose sur ses genoux. Leo : Est-ce qu'on pourrait immédiatement re-tourner cette séquence, de façon à ce que ton " mon bébé " ne passe pas à la postérité ? Sasha : Non. Leo : Je m'en serais douté. Leo niche son visage dans le cou de Sasha, qui l'enlace avec l'air soucieux. Pendant quelques secondes, ils se parlent de façon inaudible, puis s'embrassent. Sasha fait ensuite face à la caméra, Leo blottit contre lui. Sasha : Alors. Donc. On est le 3 juillet, il est genre... 22h ? Leo : Vingt-trois heures trente. Sasha : Déjà ? Putain. Bon. Il est 23h30 et demain, on va avoir les résultats du bac. Et surtout, on va enfin pouvoir redormir ensemble, ce qui n'est pas arrivé depuis un mois. Leo : Deux semaines. Sasha : J'ai l'impression que ça fait un an. Leo : Tu dis ça pour être romantique. Mais ça te donne l'air débile. Sasha : Mais tu m'aimes. Leo lève les yeux au ciel. Sasha continue de parler face caméra. Leo ne regarde pas la caméra. Il regarde Sasha fixement, et puis tirant sur son tee-shirt, au niveau du cou, il embrase son épaule. Sasha ; Du coup, on dort ensemble et demain à huit heures, mon père nous emmène là-bas, pour qu'on ait nos résultats, sachant que de toute façon... On s'en fout un peu. Leo lâche Sasha, qui passe son bras autour de sa taille pour le maintenir contre lui. Leo : Je ne m'en fous pas, moi. Sasha : T'as été accepté à Louis le Grand, même si tu t'en sors avec un dix, ça ne change rien. Leo : Même. Tu sais ce que... Sasha : Ah oui. J'avais oublié. Donc, si Leo s'en sort avec une mention très bien, on va pouvoir partir en vacances ensemble. Leo : Vu les cours que j'ai raté, ils auraient pu être indulgents. Sasha : Tes parents sont super cools. Leo : Mmm. Sasha : Arrête. Leo : Si tu veux. Et toi, tu t'en fous parce que...? Même raison ? Sasha : Je n'ai pas été pris à Sciences Po, j'ai été pris à la Sorbonne... Du moment que je l'ai, je m'en fous. Et je l'aurais. Faut pas abuser. Leo repousse l'ordinateur pour grimper sur Sasha. L'image est subitement mal cadrée, quoi que l'on puisse toujours les voir, et le son est plus difficile à entendre. Leo : Et après, on sera en vacances. Et après, on sera à Paris. On va être à Paris tous les deux. Dans notre appartement à nous. Toi et moi. Sasha : On dirait que tu vas pleurer. Leo : C'est possible. Sasha : Tu as peur ? Leo : Et si tu me trouves invivable ? Sasha : Ça se peut pas. Leo : Parce que tu m'aimes ? Sasha : Non. Parce qu'on aura une chambre chacun et que si tu me soules, je sortirais faire la fête. Leo grimace, veut se défaire des bras de Sasha, qui le fait basculer en riant et l'embrasse dans le cou. La caméra cadre son visage de très près. Ils s'embrassent un moment, et puis Sasha se tourne vers la caméra. Sasha : Vous avez entendus ? On va vivre ensemble. Leo : T'es taré, avec tes auditeurs invisibles. J'espère que tu ne les fous pas sur YouTube dans mon dos. Sasha : C'est une idée. Qu'est-ce que tu penses de " CoupleGayMignon " comme nom de chaine ? Leo : Je préfère encore " SashaLeChat ". Fin de la vidéo. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Je vais être malade, je le sais. Et au cas où je ne le saurais pas, mon père vient de me le dire. Il m'a regardé depuis le siège du conducteur et il m'a dit " Tu vas être malade ". Mais je m'en fiche. Je m'en fiche complètement, j'ai besoin d'écrire. Je n'ai pas eu une minute tranquille, depuis une semaine.Je n'ai pas eu de mention très bien au bac. J'ai eu les félicitations du jury. Mon père n'est toujours pas redescendu, je crois. Du coup, depuis une semaine, il dit oui à environ absolument tout ce que je lui demande. Sasha a eu une mention assez bien, il a manqué la mention bien à pas grand-chose. Ça lui convient très bien, il n'a jamais été à fond dans les études. Son père était très fier aussi, ou plutôt il s'en foutait, du moment que son fils est heureux... Enfin voilà. Le soir des résultats, on a diné au restaurant tous ensemble, mes parents, le père de Sasha, les parents d'Elios, les parents de Juliette, Juliette, Elios, Sasha et moi. Et... C'était un peu bizarre, en fait. Les parents de Juliette et d'Elios n'étaient pas au courant, pour Sasha et moi, du coup ils ont tous fait une drôle de tête, quand, alors que l'on levait un toast à mes résultats (Elios et Juliette ont tous les deux eu une mention très bien), il s'est penché et m'a embrassé sur la bouche. Tout doucement, délicatement et une microseconde, mais quand même. Bref. Et puis on était là à parler de l'avenir... Mon père m'a forcé à poser mon journal parce que je commençais à respirer bizarrement. On est sur une aire d'autoroute, là. Il est sorti faire de l'essence, et puis acheter des gâteaux. Je suis dans la cabine en train d'écrire. Donc, on parlait de l'avenir, et brusquement, le père de Sasha a lâché qu'il avait un appartement à Paris et qu'il serait enchanté que Sasha et moi nous y installions, gratuitement bien sûr. Sasha s'est illuminé comme une chandelle. Mon père s'est étranglé avec son vin. C'est là que j'ai réalisé que... Vivre avec Sasha à Paris, je n'en avais pas parlé à mes parents. Genre, pas du tout. Pas une minute. Je n'avais même pas soulevé l'idée. Du coup, ma mère a sorti son sourire poli qui veut dire " tu ne perds rien pour attendre ", et a dit qu'on verrait. Mais le soir, je me suis fait engueuler. Enfin. On a discuté. Sauf que... La discussion ne s'est pas très bien passée. Ma mère avait à peine posé son manteau qu'elle a aussitôt attaqué : - Ça n'a pas de sens. - Mais Sasha va à Paris aussi. Ça fait un an qu'on est ensemble. Bien sûr que si ça a du sens. - Nous avons déjà un appartement à Paris. Tu te rappelles que ton père et moi y travaillons ? A vrai dire, puisque tu vas y faire tes études, nous pensions nous y installer à temps plein. J'ai fait une grimace tellement dégoutée qu'elle a eu l'air blessée, et c'est mon père qui a continué. - Mon lapin, tu es trop jeune. Tu n'es même pas majeur. - Je n'ai même pas de chambre, dans l'appartement de Paris ! Je ne vais pas vivre sur la mezzanine ! C'est sympa quand je viens passer le week-end, pas si je suis en prépa ! Comment je vais étudier ? C'est là que c'est vraiment devenu une discussion sérieuse. Que l'on s'est installés tous les trois dans le salon, sur le canapé, moi au milieu. En fait, j'exagère vraiment quand je dis que je me suis fait engueuler. Ils ont été gentils, mais ça a été... Eprouvant, comme discussion. J'avais l'impression de déplacer mes billes avec la plus extrême attention. On repart. Je range mon journal, d'autant que mon père m'a fait remarquer que ça serait plus sympa pour lui si je lui parlais. On fait une pause pour le déjeuner. J'adore la nourriture des aires d'autoroutes. Sincèrement. Je viens de manger mon premier steak frites depuis... Des temps immémoriaux. J'ai toujours des gros problèmes avec le fait de manger, surtout avec le poids que j'ai pris chez Sasha. La viande c'est encore pire, d'autant que ça me fait me sentir coupable. Mais parfois ça m'aide. Et un steak cru-carbonisé et des frites molles.... Je ne pouvais pas résister. Mon père est allongé sur un banc dans l'aire de pique-nique, il fait une sieste. Je vais pouvoir finir de raconter tranquille. Seigneur. Donc. On était dans le salon. Et, c'est vrai que j'aimerais bien rester encore un peu avec mes parents. Je ne sais pas si je me sens de vivre seulement avec Sasha. Je veux dire, je sais à peine me servir de la machine à laver. Je ne cuisine jamais, sauf des salades de légumes et des gâteaux pour Sasha. Donc... Mais franchement, j'adore notre appartement de Paris, mais pas à temps plein. Dormir au-dessus du salon, c'est sympa deux minutes. Même si j'adore la vue sur Notre-Dame qu'on a de là-haut. Mais à cet argument, ma mère a répondue : - Tu iras au pensionnat de Louis le Grand, dans ce cas. - J'ai fait quelque chose de mal, ou quoi ? Et puis je n'aurais pas de places, je ne suis pas prioritaire. - Ce n'est pas une punition, d'aller au pensionnat... - Bien sûr que si. C'est le truc dont on menace les gamins détestables. Ma mère a soupiré et m'a attiré contre elle. - Comme si nous avions déjà menacé de te mettre au pensionnat... Ou comme si tu étais détestable. - Vous l'avez fait. Une fois. Quand j'étais en sixième. Mon père m'a envoyé une pichenette et j'ai fait la grimace, blotti contre ma mère. - C'était un pensionnat pour surdoué, et tu étais ravi. Ne te moque pas de nous s'il te plait. Et même s'il n'y a pas de place au pensionnat de Louis le Grand, il y a des tas de pensionnat privés. - Mais pourquoi est-ce que vous voulez me payer un pensionnat alors que le père de Sasha nous prête gratuitement un appartement ? - Parce que tu es trop petit... Trop jeune, pour vivre tout seul. - Je vis déjà tout seul. Vous n'êtes jamais là. Ils ont baissés les yeux en même temps. Je sais que je les aie blessés. Ils adorent leurs boulots. Ils adorent Paris. Mais moi, j'aime trop cette ville, j'aime trop Lyon et mes amis. C'est pour moi qu'ils font ces allers-retours en train. Et puis même... J'ai serré plus fort mes bras autour de ma mère. Mon père est venu, on s'est fait un câlin à trois têtes. J'ai donné un argument de gamin, mais ça fait du bien aussi. - De toute façon, si vous me mettez dans un pensionnat, je ferais le mur tout le temps pour aller dormir près de Sasha. Et je raterais complètement mes études. Ça a fait rire mon père. J'ai ajouté que j'avais eu les félicitations du jury. Que c'était au-delà de leurs espérances. Et brusquement, ils ont cédés. Sans " on en reparle " ou " on va y réfléchir ". Mon père a fini sa sieste. On remonte dans le camion. On arrive à Paris d'ici une heure. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Sasha s'est endormi comme une masse. Pendant qu'on portait les cartons, avec son père et le mien, il m'a coincé dans l'ascenseur à un moment et il m'a dit que quand on serait tous les deux, on " Inaugurerait l'appartement à notre façon hein tu vois ce que je veux dire mon amour ". Honnêtement, je n'ai même pas répondu. Parfois, il a de ces expressions... C'est assez amusant de voir une personne de sa taille et de son poids (moineau) en train d'essayer de se la jouer bad boy langoureux. Sauf, que quand on a enfin pu aller se coucher, il a glissé sa main sous mon tee-shirt, il a baillé, et trois minutes plus tard, il roupillait. Il faut dire que la journée a été assez éreintante. Il est quatre heures du matin. Je me suis endormi avec lui, hier soir, mais je ne peux plus dormir. J'aimerais bien que ça soit à cause de l'excitation, d'être dans mon propre appartement avec mon petit ami, mais... Ce n'est pas l'excitation. C'est l'angoisse. J'ai mal au ventre, je suis en sueur et j'ai déjà bu un litre d'eau entier, par petits verres, en regardant la paroisse St-Médard, par la fenêtre. L'appartement est au deux, rue de Candolle. On est au quatrième étage. A quoi, trois minutes à pieds de la Sorbonne. Et c'est vraiment très joli. Ma prépa n'est vraiment pas très loin non plus. C'est tellement idéal. Et puis on est juste au croisement de la rue Mouffetard, celle avec la sorcière de Pierre Gripari. Et... Tout est parfait, quoi. Tout est génial, on est déjà installé, on va passer un peu de temps à Paris et puis on va voyager pendant tout un mois, cet été et... Je suis horriblement angoissé et j'ai vraiment très mal au ventre avec toute l'eau que j'ai bu. Et je voudrais vraiment que mon papa soit là, mais il a posé le camion et il est rentré en train. Et celui de Sasha est rentré lui aussi. Il nous ont largué à Paris et ils sont partis. Ils m'ont laissé seul avec Sasha et ça me fait peur. Je n'ai jamais vécu avec Sasha, moi. L'été dernier, on était toujours fourrés ensemble, mais.... Je ne sais pas. C'est différent. Il faut que j'arrête de boire, j'ai vraiment trop mal. Il y a du bruit dans le couloir. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Je crois que lors de notre première nuit dans l'appartement, alors que Leo faisait une crise d'angoisse, j'ai instauré quelque chose. Je ne pensais pas que ça deviendrais... Ca. Je ne pensais pas que je pouvais créer quelque chose d'aussi beau, seulement en essayant de le rassurer. Je ne pensais pas que l'aimer, ça pouvait aller de pair avec des choses aussi sublimes. Je ne pensais rien. Je ne pense jamais à ces choses là. J'ai toujours Un milliard Trois Cent Virgule Deux idées romantiques en tête, clairement, ( dont 78% de purement sexuelles mais bon). Et là... Je ne sais pas. Je le regarde, allongé dans la baignoire, les yeux fermés. Se préparant pour notre rituel préféré. Qui n'existe que depuis quoi, vendredi-samedi-dimanche-lundi, quatre jours ? Mais je m'en fous. Je ne pensais pas que j'allais tomber amoureux ce jour là, je pensais que je l'étais déjà. Il faisait sa crise d'angoisse. Je suis sorti du lit, je suis allé le prendre dans mes bras. Il ne se sentait pas bien, il était en sueur, il se sentait sale. Il a repoussé mes bras. J'ai ouvert grand la fenêtre. La nuit était fraiche. Je ne l'ai pas touché, je lui ai seulement demandé de regarder. De regarder les étoiles, tout près de moi. On a regardé les étoiles jusqu'à qu'il se calme. J'avais peur qu'à Paris, on ne puisse pas les voir. Mais il y avait un peu de vent, pas de nuage. Un ciel plein de joyaux. Je ne lui ai pas dit le nom des étoiles. Je n'en ai aucune idée. Simplement, on les a regardés tous les deux. Jusqu'à qu'il se sente mieux. Qu'il rejoigne le lit. Notre lit. A tous les deux. Même si, techniquement, on est dans ma chambre, parce que l'appartement à trois pièces et qu'on a décidé que la pièce avec le lit serait ma chambre et que l'autre serait la pièce de Leo, sa chambre, son bureau, même s'il n'y dormira pas. Il a pris une douche bien froide, et après il se sentait mieux. On a dormi l'un contre l'autre. Et le lendemain soir, en sortant du restaurant, il faisait nuit, il y avait les étoiles. On a marché dans Paris en les regardant. Tous les soirs, on est ressorti. Marcher au hasard au s'asseoir dans le parc de l'église en bas. Regarder les étoiles. Depuis quatre jours, il n'a fait aucune crise. Ni d'angoisse, ni de boulimie, ni rien du tout. Il est très calme. Ce gros con a essayé de mouiller mon journal, qu'il aille se faire enculer à Pigalle. On vient de rentrer. J'espère qu'on pourra faire ça absolument tous les soirs. Parce qu'après, il a l'air tellement bien. Dans le lit, les autres soirs, après les étoiles, on s'est tenus la main et on dit des bêtises et des silences lourds de sens. On s'est dévorés du regard. Il m'appelle déjà. Je vais le rejoindre. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Putain. Je DÉTESTE les urgences la nuit. Mais d'une force que personne ne peut imaginer. J'aime bien les ambiances glauques, pourtant. Tout ce qui est boite de nuit dégueulasse et tout ça. Mais là, c'est juste... Trop. Parce que je ne peux pas me foutre de la gueule des gens présent, je ne peux pas faire comme si j'étais au dessus de tout ça. Et puis surtout, je ne peux pas me barrer quand j'ai envie. Entendons nous bien, je ne me barre pas souvent des boites de nuit dégueulasse, mais dans l'idée : Je peux. Là, je ne peux pas. Leo a la tête sur mes genoux. Il n'arrête pas de bouger, de se lever, de boire, de revenir, de tourner en rond. Au début, j'ai vraiment essayé de le calmer mais quand ça a commencé à me faire devenir dingue, j'ai sorti mon journal. J'ai aussi le sien avec moi, mais il a seulement dessiné une longue rangée de petites maisons avant de l'abandonner par terre, de donner un coup de pieds dedans et de pleurer. Je ne sais même pas ce qu'on fait là. Ça ne sert à rien. C'est... Il fait une crise d'angoisse. Leo fait une crise d'angoisse. Tellement monumentale que j'ai fini par l'amener aux urgences mais... Qu'est ce qu'ils vont faire ? Lui filer des calmants ? Ça ne marche pas. Il a pris la dose maximale de calmants auxquels il a le droit. Au mieux, ils vont lui filer un somnifère et puis voilà. J'en sais rien, en fait. Je n'ai aucune idée de ce qu'un hôpital fait quand quelqu'un a une énorme crise d'angoisse. Je pensais qu'il l'isolerait au moins, ou qu'ils le prendraient vite en charge, parce qu'il est dans un état pas possible, il court partout et tout ça, mais au milieu des gens plein de sang... Il n'est pas la priorité. Il vient d'être pris en charge. Après que j'ai eu écris, il est arrivé et il s'est mis dans mes bras en pleurant et en demandant pardon pendant un long moment. C'était vraiment très dur. Quand il me demande pardon... Je me sens tellement nul. Je ne veux pas qu'il pense que je suis fâché. Ni que j'ai pitié. Je l'aime, moi... Je l'aime comme il est. Putain, ça m'angoisse aussi. Je vais fumer une clope. Même si ça ne me détend même pas. C'est juste pour pouvoir sortir de cet endroit et donner des coups de pieds dans rien. On est dans le taxi. Il dort. Deux heures à attendre pour dix minutes de discussion et une ordonnance. C'était vraiment utile. Je lui caresse les cheveux. Ça me soule de penser ça, mais parfois... J'aimerais qu'il soit un peu moins mal, pour me laisser l'espace de l'être aussi, quand j'en ai besoin. Mais quand il est malheureux, j'ai l'impression que je pourrais faire n'importe quoi pour qu'il aille mieux. Et en même temps... Je ne peux presque rien faire du tout. Ça me soule... Un peu. Putain, j'arrive pas à dormir. Lui il dort comme un bébé dans le lit, là, sa crise est complètement terminée, il m'a foutu les jetons, j'en suis malade tellement je me suis inquiété pour lui toute la soirée et tellement je me sentais impuissant à le voir paniquer et demander pardon et me dire de ne pas prévenir ses parents et si et ça... Et là... Bah il dort, complètement assommé, mais alors moi... J'ai tout ces trucs qui me tournent dans la tête. Genre, est ce que ça va continuer comme ça ? Et combien de temps ? Et quoi d'autres ? Est ce qu'il va recommencer à se scarifier ? Et ne plus rien manger ? Est ce qu'il va faire d'autres crises d'angoisse ? Est ce qu'il va essayer de se suicider, est ce qu'il va devoir retourner à l'hôpital ? Est ce qu'on va s'en sortir ? Je voudrais juste qu'on s'en sorte. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Leo s'est endormi. Il était nerveux avant de partir, alors vu que de toute façon, on va passer toute la journée dans le train, il a pris double dose de ses anxiolytiques et il s'est endormi. Il n'y a pas grand monde dans le train, on est dans un carré et il est allongé sur deux sièges, en face de moi. D'habitude, il aime dormir la tête sur mes genoux, mais... Je ne sais pas. Je ne suis pas sur que ce voyage soit une bonne idée. On a pris un train qui partait à 9h10 de Paris Est, et qui va arriver à Francfort à 12h58. Là, on aura une heure pour changer, puis 7h de train de Francfort à Vienne. J'ai cru qu'on allait pas partir. Hier soir, on s'est disputés comme jamais, et je crois que c'est en parti pour ça qu'il ne dort pas avec ma tête sur ses genoux. Il n'arrête pas de rechigner parce que, sois disant je suis sur son dos, je le colle, je le soule, et sa préférée ; Je me prends pour son père. Il ne se rend pas compte d'à quel point je suis inquiet de son état. Il vit très mal la séparation d'avec ses parents, ses amis et l'endroit ou il a toujours vécu. Et il n'aime pas non plus être en vacances, désœuvré. J'ai beau essayé de meubler nos journées, parfois je n'ai rien envie de faire, mais lui ne le supporte pas. Et hier, j'étais à deux doigts d'annuler nos billets. Parce qu'hier, il s'est fait mal, et j'ai complètement craqué. Je lui ai dit que moi je ne faisais pas le tour de l'Europe avec un mec qui se mettait en danger et qu'il était hors de question que je me retrouve à appeler une ambulance alors qu'on serait en plein milieu d'Oslo ou je ne sais ou. Je lui ai dit que j'avais peur, qu'il me faisait peur, que je n'avais pas la force et que je voulais tout annuler. Il a hurlé. Il m'a dit que j'étais dégueulasse parce qu'il faisait des efforts pour prendre sur lui et que si j'annulais tout c'était comme si je lui disais qu'il était complètement nul. Il a hurlé, il a pleuré, il m'a demandé pardon et on a tellement pas dormi qu'on a failli rater le train, ce matin. Et on est encore un peu fâché, en plus. Ca me soule. C'est juste... Ouais. Ca me soule. Je ne vois pas comment le dire autrement. Toute cette situation sur laquelle je n'ai aucune emprise, j'en ai juste tellement marre. Et parfois, je me sens complètement découragé. Et parfois... Parfois j'ai envie de lui hurler : " JE COMPTE MOI AUSSI ". Et merde. Whouuuula je viens de croiser mon visage dans la glace, c'est pas joli à voir. Tout à l'heure je crois que j'étais un peu triste alors j'ai posé mon journal, j'ai réveillé Leo et je me suis assis là ou il avait sa tête, et il l'a posé sur mes genoux. Ensuite, j'ai dormi, assis, et lui a dormi avec sa tête sur mes genoux et nos doigts serrés dans ses cheveux. On était bien. Mais là on va arriver dans quelques minutes et je suis passé aux toilettes et mais ma tête quoi. Même après m'être repeigné et passé de l'eau sur le visage j'ai une tête de zombie. Leo, il a EN PERMANENCE une tête de zombie donc bon, hein, écoute. Un couple de zombies, youhouuu. Leo est complètement endormi, j'espère qu'il ne va pas être une vraie plaie pendant le déjeuner. On arrive. Leo n'a pas été une plaie, au contraire. Il a été... Tellement adorable. Il s'est rendormi, là, on est dans le train pour Vienne, c'est un train à compartiments et là non plus il n'y a pas trop de gens, du coup il est allongé de tout son long sur quatre places, et moi aussi, de l'autre coté. Il dort. A un moment on se tenait la main entre les banquettes mais on a lâché quand il s'est endormi. Il a un bras replié au dessus de sa tête et une peluche dans les bras. Il est mignon, mon amoureux. Au déjeuner, il m'a demandé pardon. Et honnêtement, il l'a fait tellement de fois ces derniers jours que... Ca n'a plus trop de valeur. Mais cette fois, il n'était pas larmoyant. Il était calme. Quand on est arrivé, il a proposé qu'on aille manger dans un vrai restaurant de la gare, et il a mangé la totalité de sa salade au thon sans faire d'histoires, alors qu'il ne mange pas grand chose ces temps ci. Ensuite, il m'a demandé pardon de son attitude. Il m'a dit qu'il allait faire de gros efforts. Que tout allait bien se passer. Que c'était une promesse. Qu'il m'aimait. Qu'on allait s'en sortir. Et là, il a sorti de son sac une boite pandora, et il m'a dit qu'il avait prévu de l'ouvrir avec moi dans le château de Schönbrunn ou on va aller demain, mais qu'il pensait que maintenant c'était une bonne idée. Dans la boite, il y avait une breloque pour aller avec le cœur que je lui acheté pour la St-Valentin. C'est la première breloque qu'on rajoute. Une petite mappemonde. Ca m'a donné envie de pleurer. Mais je n'ai pas pleuré. Je l'ai embrassé. Et il m'a dit qu'une fois à l'hôtel, il faudrait qu'il me donne autre chose. Qu'il n'était pas sur de pouvoir. Qu'il essayerait. Et qu'il ne fallait pas demander ce que c'était. Mais que ce n'était pas un cadeau. J'ai essayé de plaisanter en demandant si c'était une pipe, mais il n'a pas eu l'air de trouver ça franchement drôle. Et une fois dans le train pour Vienne, il s'est effondré de fatigue. Je m'ennuie, je vais sortir ma tablette et regarder un film. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Journal de Leo, Mardi 19 juillet 2014 On est en train de pique-niquer dans le parc du château de Schönbrunn. Je me suis forcé à manger ce que Sasha avait acheté. C'est dur, mais j'ai décidé qu'on était en vacances et que je recommencerais à ne rien manger à la rentrée. Alors c'est vaguement supportable. Assez vaguement. Je n'arrêtais pas de palper mon ventre et mes côtes, jusqu'à que Sasha me prenne la main pour m'arrêter. Il est appuyé contre le tronc d'arbre à côté de moi, à lire Dostoïevski dans le texte. Je ne savais même pas qu'il savait lire le russe. Même si je le soupçonne de ne pas trop comprendre. Ah ouais, il a les yeux fermés, en fait. Petit cœur. Je n'ai pas particulièrement apprécié le voyage en train, hier. De toute façon, j'étais dans les vapes. Médoc en veux-tu en voilà. A hésiter de quadrupler la dose. Tout envoyer valser, valser, valser. On est à Vienne, ça tombe bien. Dans la poche de mon sac, il y avait mon plumier en bois. Dans mon plumier en bois, trois lames cassées d'un rasoir et des pilules en vrac. Hier soir, j'ai donné mon plumier à Sasha. Je lui ai dit de le prendre, de pas l'ouvrir, et de m'aimer. Il l'a ouvert quand même, je me suis détesté. Mais lui, il m'a dit que c'était bien. Que j'étais fort, ça m'a presque énervé. Je ne suis pas fort, tu parles. Quelle blague. On est allé visiter le château de Sissi. C'est magnifique. Sasha dort. Cet après-midi, on retourne à Vienne, on va voir le Museum Judenplatz. Et ce soir, on ira au Café Hawelka, manger des Sachertorte et des Apfelstrudel. Enfin... Ce genre de choses. On n'est pas venu pour rien faire, on est venu... Je me demande franchement pourquoi on est venus, et si on n'est pas fous. J'ai peur, un peu. J'ai peur de faire des crises, j'ai peur de tout gâcher. J'ai tellement peur. Ça va aller. Je vais réveiller Sasha. Il faut qu'on prenne un bus pour retourner à Vienne et il passe dans quinze minutes de l'autre côté du parc. Journal de Sasha, jeudi 21 juillet 2014 J'abandonne Dostoïevski. Je ne comprends rien au russe. J'ai essayé d'apprendre et je pense que je pourrais lire, genre... Je ne sais pas, une BD en russe, ou alors heu, Tom-Tom et Nana, ou, enfin un truc facile, mais Dostoïevski, non. Je vous jure, c'est limite en train de me gâcher mes vacances de lire ce truc donc, Paix ! C'était un jeu de mot. Sur Guerre et Paix. Ouais, non, ce n'est pas grave. On est dans le train pour la Croatie, là. On y va seulement une nuit mais c'est chouette parce qu'honnêtement, l'Autriche, je commençais à en avoir jusque-là. J'exagère, hein. J'aime juste me plaindre. C'est juste que c'est tellement, tellement violemment beau, qu'il y a un moment où je vous jure, ça fait MAL à la TETE. Les cathédrales, les musées, les palais... C'est tellement sublime. Et faire ça avec Leo, c'est la double peine. Il est émerveillé par tout ce qu'il voit. A un moment, je l'ai surpris à rêvasser, je suis SUR qu'il imaginait qu'il était Sissi. Mais je suis content. Honnêtement, on n'a pas eu trop l'occasion de se disputer parce qu'on n'a pas franchement parlé depuis qu'on est arrivé. On a fait que marcher et acheter des souvenirs et manger des Sachertorte et même la nuit, enfin le soir, quand on rentrait, on était tellement épuisé qu'on tombait dans le lit et qu'on se blottissait l'un contre l'autre pour dormir et c'était vraiment... C'était chouette. On n'a pas trop parlé. Mais on s'est fait des câlins super chouette. Même s'il y a des moments où je repense à son plumier caché au fond de ma valise et je me demande pourquoi je ne l'ai pas jeté à la poubelle mais quelque part, c'est comme si j'avais besoin de garder ça avec moi, comme une preuve, ou comme... Comme si je voulais garder cette douleur avec moi pour ne pas qu'elle échappe à mon contrôle. Leo vient de me demander d'éteindre la lampe parce qu'il veut dormir. On est dans un train couchette et ça me soule de ne pas pouvoir dormir contre lui mais bon. Demain, on va faire du camping sauvage dans le Parc National Krka. Oui, Krka. Sans commentaires. A la base on Ok, j'éteins. Journal de Leo, vendredi 22 juillet 2014 Je ne sais pas ce qui nous a pris, avec le camping sauvage. Mais à priori, ce n'est pas si fou que ça puisqu'il y a un mec qui loue des affaires de camping et qui propose même des casiers pour ranger nos valises. Du coup, quand on est descendu du train, ce matin, on a pris un bus, et finalement on s'est retrouvé à crapahuter dans le parc de Krka avec des sacs à dos. Je comptais faire de la randonnée, mais j'ai fini par me rappeler que c'était aussi les vacances de Sasha et qu'il avait le droit à son Ne-faisons-rien-du-tout-s 'il-te-plait-merci. On s'est baigné dans les canyons de la rivière Krka, devant les chutes d'eau. On s'est arrosé, on s'est embrassé. On était vraiment, vraiment bien. Pendant qu'on était à Vienne, par moment, j'avais l'impression que Sasha m'échappait un peu. Il a tendance à se renfermer sur lui-même, ces temps-ci. Je n'ai pas vraiment l'habitude. C'est sa façon de gérer... De me gérer. J'imagine. Aujourd'hui, il était vraiment détendu. On n'a pas arrêté de se battre. Dans l'eau, je veux dire. Je voulais aller visiter l'église sur l'îlot de Visovac mais il aurait fallu prendre le bateau et je crois qu'il y a de toute façon bien trop d'églises et autres édifices religieux au programme de nos vacances pour Sasha. Du coup, on a passé l'après-midi allongés près de l'eau, à... Nous reposer. Et là, on fait du camping sauvage dans les ruines de Necven, une des forteresses du parc. J'avais peur qu'il y ait plein de gens, mais il semble que l'on soit les seuls idiots à vouloir faire ça. Sasha commence à vraiment râler. Je sais qu'il voulait faire son feu de camp tout seul mais il est complètement nul. Je crois que je vais l'aider. On a mangé du foie gras et du pain d'épice. Je ne comprends pas du tout pourquoi je l'ai laissé se charger des courses pour les piques niques, mais... Au final, c'était assez drôle. Je lui ai dit. - Je ne crois pas qu'il y ait d'autres personnes au monde avec laquelle je pourrais me retrouver à manger du foie gras sur du pain d'épice en plein camping sauvage dans une forteresse abandonné de Croatie. - Et malgré ça, tu m'aimes. Non, attends, c'est pour ça que tu m'aimes. Les flammes lui faisaient les yeux encore plus brillants que d'habitude. A ce moment-là, il avait l'air de m'aimer. De m'aimer plus que personne ne pourrait jamais m'aimer. Quelque part, ça m'a rendu un peu triste. Arrête d'essayer de lire ce que j'écris et écris dans ton propre journal s'il te plait. Merci. Mais c'est parce que tout me rend un peu triste, surtout ce qui est beau. Oui on peut faire l'amour sous les étoiles. Sale gosse romantique. J'y vais. Journal de Sasha, Dimanche 24 juillet Si je dois entrer dans une église de plus ou un temple ou un BIDULE RELIGIEUX de plus, je me fais excommunier et tatouer 666 sur le front. De toute façon, je pêche trop pour Dieu donc, hein. Peu importe. Et puis je commence à tellement craquer que ma nouvelle activité dans les églises, c'est de mater hyper ostensiblement les fesses de tout le monde jusqu'à que 1° Leo en ai marre 2° Je matte les siennes et quelqu'un d'autre en ai marre. Je ne dois pas gâcher les vacances de mon copain car je suis un imbécile sans culture qui ne s'intéresse à rien. Je ne dois pas gâcher les vacances de mon copain car je suis un imbécile sans culture qui ne s'intéresse à rien. Je ne dois pas gâcher les vacances de mon copain car je suis un imbécile sans culture qui ne s'intéresse à rien. Je ne dois pas gâcher les vacances de mon copain car je suis un imbécile sans culture qui ne s'intéresse à rien. Je ne dois pas gâcher les vacances de mon copain car je suis un imbécile sans culture qui ne s'intéresse à rien. Cinq fois. Enfoiré. Vivement qu'on se casse de ce pays de Crétins. Pardon, chrétiens, désolé. Et lundi, on va ou ? On va à Bucarest, en Roumanie. Et on va voir quoi ? ON VA VOIR QUOI A VOTRE AVIS ON VA VOIR DES EGLISES. Je n'avais pas signé pour un chemin de croix moi. Non, en fait, je me suis trouvé une occupation mais... Bon, ok. Vous voyez les bougies, dans les églises ? Bon. J'en ai volé une dans chaque église dans laquelle on était passé. C'est pour faire collection. Je ramène des souvenirs, quoi. Hey ! C'est plus original que les boules à neige ! Oui oui, Blasphème, je vous salue Marie, je m'excuse, mais je vous signale que je vais déjà en enfer parce que je... Mens, Picole, Fornique avec des garçons, ... Heu et enfin tout le reste alors... Qu'est-ce que ça peut faire ? J'ai abandonné, je suis rentré à l'hôtel. Leo est je ne sais pas où, et je lui ai dit que j'avais trop mal à la tête parce que, j'ai juste, j'en ai marre de lui. Juste un tout petit peu. Pas définitivement ni rien, c'est juste... Je suis fatigué, d'accord ? Je suis épuisé, on ne fait que visiter et c'est pas mon truc, c'est pas ça que je voulais et depuis le début j'essaye de ne rien dire parce que je veux vraiment qu'il se sente bien, mais MOI je ne me sens pas bien mais je ne veux pas qu'il s'occupe de moi, je veux qu'il s'occupe de lui-même et qu'il aille mieux, je veux qu'il soit heureux, c'est super important pour moi, mais là j'ai besoin de me poser dans un café, de ne rien faire un petit moment. J'en ai besoin. Ça me rend assez triste, de... D'avoir besoin d'être sans lui pendant un moment et de me rendre compte qu'il y a des moments où je me force parce que je l'aime, je me force à être là, mais peut être que ça veut dire que notre histoire d'amour est solide, parce qu'elle ne se base pas uniquement sur les bons moments. Je ne sais pas. Je vais trouver une pizzeria, dans le guide. Et ce soir, on n'ira pas dans un restaurant typique. Je n'en peux plus, de la nourriture bulgare. Ce soir, on ira manger une pizza. Et puis on se baladera main dans la main. Ca nous fera du bien. J'ai besoin d'une petite bulle comme ça, pour avoir le courage de m'occuper de lui. Deux jours plus tard Je retire le mal que j'ai dit et surtout pensé de Bucarest. Je n'ai aucune idée de si la ville est jolie ou moche ou ce qu'on veut. L'endroit où l'on est, lui, il est particulièrement immonde. On est dans un hôtel qui s'appelle le Carpati et c'est vraiment super nul. Les toilettes et la douche sont sur le palier. Notre chambre est un minuscule réduit avec une petite fenêtre à barreaux et juste un lit. Et... C'est tellement romantique. Je vous jure. J'ai l'impression d'être Arthur Rimbaud et que Leo est Paul Verlaine. J'ai l'impression qu'on est des amants maudits et que l'amour que l'on a l'un pour l'autre nous protège du décor. Leo est en train de prendre sa douche. On va diner dans un restaurant qui s'appelle le Lacrimi si sfinti, On l'a trouvé dans le guide, ça a l'air... Très typique. Mais je suis un peu persuadé que la cuisine roumaine est à peu près pareille que la cuisine bulgare et tout ça alors... Non, je n'ai qu'une hâte, c'est qu'on soit ici à nouveau et que l'on fasse très longuement et très passionnément l'amour à la lueur des bougies. Note : Acheter bougies. Whoa. Je ne sais pas ce qui n'est pas passé dans la cuisine roumaine, ou si c'est l'alcool, mais je crois bien qu'on est tous les deux malades. Enfin, oui, non, on EST malades tous les deux. Leo n'a pas n'arrêter de rire et de répéter qu'il allait vomir et je vous jure que c'était mignon parce qu'on ne tenait pas debout et au final je ne sais pas si on avait mal au ventre à cause des trucs qu'on a avalé ou parce qu'on ne pouvait plus s'arrêter de rire. Il a de la fièvre par contre, et là il est en train de s'endormir. Pour la nuit d'amour, on repassera. Mais je m'en fiche. On est bien là. Je crois que je vais me blottir contre lui et tout oublier. Journal de Leo, mercredi 27 juillet 2014 Je crois que c'était la nuit la plus érotique de toute ma vie. Je suis en train de prendre un jus d'orange dans le café en bas. Un minute Maid tout ce qu'il y a de moins Roumain mais je n'ai plus aucune confiance dans la nourriture de ce pays. Même si j'imagine que c'est en partie pour ça que c'était la nuit la plus... De ma vie. On était malades, avec Sasha, à cause de ce qu'on avait mangés, et s'est endormi tout fiévreux. Je me suis réveillé au milieu de la nuit, frissonnant, j'avais froid. Donc je me suis blotti contre Sasha et comme c'était une bouillotte vivante à ce moment là parce qu'il avait la fièvre, j'ai enlevé mon pyjama pour me coller contre sa peau nue. Et je ne sais pas s'il ne dormait pas du tout, ou un petit peu, mais il s'est retourné et on s'est enlacés. Au début, c'était... Innocent, mais j'avais vraiment envie de me réchauffer et ça me réchauffe toujours quand il est contre moi et même, quand j'ai froid, pour me réchauffer, qu'il soit contre moi c'est bien, mais s'il est encore plus près c'est mieux, genre, encore plus près que " contre " moi, parce que c'est vrai que de toute façon quand on fait l'amour ça réchauffe mais il y a un truc qui peut me transformer en tison de l'enfer et... Enfin bref. Mais on était un peu endormis, et pas en grande forme, alors on y est allé vraiment tout doucement, vraiment tranquillement... Profondément. A un moment, il est allé fouiller dans sa valise et il a sorti des bougies. Je ne comprenais pas d'où elles sortaient et j'ai vu " Basilique Sainte Sophie " sur l'une d'elle mais il m'a dit " Les questions, demain ". J'ai insisté mais il m'a dit que si je continuais il m'en enfonçait une allumée dans le fondement et ça m'a fait rire tellement que, enfin, que je n'étais plus très concentré. Du coup, on a fait l'amour... Toute la nuit... Avec les bougies qui brulaient autour de nous... Et elles sentaient bon... Elles sentaient un peu l'encens et avec les flammes ça lui fait toujours ce regard-là, différent, tendre, possessif... J'aime, quand il est possessif. Je sais que c'est mal. Je sais qu'on ne doit pas dire " t'es à moi " et ce genre de truc, je le sais, vraiment, que ce n'est pas sain, mais là... Là, vraiment... Je crois que j'aurais pu le crier, que j'étais à lui ou ce genre de conneries, mais je ne l'ai pas fait. Je l'ai murmuré très très bas, et je sais qu'il l'a entendu. Quand j'ai murmuré, Je ne peux même pas l'écrire, j'ai honte. Mais à ce moment-là, il y avait quelque chose en moi, quelque chose de différent, auquel je n'étais pas habitué, c'était comme une autre personne et pourtant c'était exactement moi. Dans cet endroit misérable, avec les bougies et son corps au-dessus de moi, et son regard, son vrai regard que j'avais oublié, pas celui qui est plein d'amour et de gentillesse, son vrai regard, celui qui me fait peur tant il est intense, il disait toutes ces choses, il aime bien parler quand on fait l'amour parfois, moi je n'y arrive pas même si j'en ai envie, il me disait que j'étais à lui et qu'il m'aimait et des trucs beaucoup plus sexuels aussi et imagés et moi, moi j'étais si secoué, comme si je vibrais, et ça faisait mal de vibrer comme ça, alors j'ai seulement murmuré, j'ai seulement murmuré : - Je suis à toi. Et pendant ce qui a semblé des heures, ça a continué. Je ne sais pas ce qui me prend d'un coup, j'imagine qu'il s'en va et je me rend compte que ça m'arracherait vraiment le cœur. Alors il ne faut pas que ça arrive. Il faut qu'il me regarde comme hier soir. Pour toujours. Je ne sais plus quel jour on est. Moi, Sasha Niedrig, promet officiellement par la présente de ne pas tenter de coucher avec mon petit ami tout à l'heure dans les bains de Sandounov Signe. Je regrette de lui avoir fait signer ça, mais je ne lui dirais jamais. Pourquoi on n'a pas ça en France ? C'est génial. Note que les hammams qu'on a sont surement pareils mais bon. Bref. Même moi je sature des églises et des musées, du coup on fait les magasins. Plus exactement, on a fait LE magasin Goum, qui est juste magnifique, et gigantesque, même si à l'intérieur il y a principalement des marques qu'on trouve partout. On n'a pas acheté grand-chose, on est déjà surchargés de souvenirs, mais on fait le tour de la place rouge et puis là on est au café Pouchkine, tels des touristes. Mais c'est très sympa. On regarde l'architecture, on achète des bidules et on mange bien. Et on boit. Russie, Vodka. Etre bourré à 15h, c'est génial. Le monde devient merveilleux et Sasha n'arrête pas de parler de faire des boules de neige alors qu'on est en aout. En Russie, d'accord. Mais en aout. Par contre, on évite de se faire trop Couple-Remarquer. Je ne sais plus où ils en sont dans ce pays au niveau des gays et autres vilains sodomites, mais je ne crois pas que Poutine soit fan. Donc, on évite de faire les cons. On part pour les pays nordiques vendredi, de toute façon. Suède, Danemark, Norvège, Islande. Que des pays hyper ouverts d'esprits. Ca va super bien se passer. Même si je commence à avoir le mal du pays. Mes parents me manquent. C'est idiot, je sais. Journal de Sasha, lundi 15 aout 2014 Je suis un con. Je sais. Je suis au courant. Je le savais avant que Leo ne me le dise. Je le savais avant qu'il ne me lance son dramatique " t'es qu'un con ". Avant qu'il ne se drape dans sa dignité blessée pour aller se coucher. Je le savais. Mais je voudrais que l'on note un point de détail, qui est que j'ai changé. Pour Leo, j'ai changé. J'ai fait, je fais, des efforts... De dingue. Parce que si j'étais le con que j'étais avant, je serais allé m'envoyer le mec qui nous accueille chez lui. Je ne resterais pas près de Leo à attendre qu'il se calme. Je lui dirais qu'il ne me parle pas comme ça et j'irais dormir avec notre hôte. Pour que Leo ai mal. Si j'étais le con que j'étais avant, je lui ferais mal pour qu'on soit deux à souffrir. Si j'étais le con que j'étais avant, je lui rendrais son plumier. Mais si je me retrouve dans la salle de bain d'une maison islandaise inconnu avec son plumier sur les genoux à me demander pourquoi, pourquoi il est comme ça, c'est que je suis devenu un autre genre de con. J'imagine que ça ne change pas grand-chose, qu'il se fasse du mal de cette façon-là plutôt que d'une autre. Quand je ne vais pas bien, je fais des conneries aussi, je me blesse aussi, je ne le fais pas pareil, c'est tout. J'aime bien prendre soin de Leo. J'ai l'impression que je sers à quelque chose. Le truc, c'est juste que... je me demande bien qui peut prendre soin de moi, pendant ce temps-là. J'imagine que c'est ça, la vie d'un héros. Je suis bien son héros, n'est-ce pas ? Et je suis un peu con. Donc je flirte avec notre hôte de couchsurfing, parce que ça me fait du bien. Mais c'est tout. Ce n'est pas si grave. C'était des vacances extraordinaires. Tous les pays qu'on a visités. Et j'ai vraiment... Fait des efforts. Mais... Je ne suis pas comme lui. Je n'aime pas les mêmes choses que lui. Et je ne peux pas toujours faire semblant, pour lui faire plaisir. Je peux le faire un moment. Et puis j'ai besoin d'être moi. J'ai besoin de boire et de draguer et de rire et j'ai plus envie de faire attention au fait que Leo va prendre ça mal. J'ai besoin de le faire pour moi, pour me sentir bien, et parfois je me dis, merde Leo c'est toi que j'aime jusque dans mes os mais si je pouvais aimer quelqu'un qui comprend que ce n'est pas sérieux tout ça, ça m'aiderait. Juste de temps en temps. Je l'aime, Leo, mais je crois que là je sature. J'ai besoin d'être à la fac et d'avoir des potes. J'ai besoin de fréquenter d'autres personnes, pas que lui tout le temps. Je ne peux pas vivre uniquement avec lui, parce qu'il est trop malheureux. Mais je ne suis pas un mauvais petit copain pour autant, si ? Je prends soin de lui... Je fais ce que je peux. Je veux dire, c'est normal que j'ai besoin. J'ai besoin de moi, parfois. Alors je vais aller m'excuser. Et j'espère qu'il fera de même. Demain, on va au blue Lagoon. Dans trois jours, on est de retour à Paris. Ca va bien se passer. Les cours vont commencer, on va être bien. Ça sera plus facile, quand on ne sera plus 24h/24 l'un avec l'autre. Journal de Leo, mardi 16 aout 2014 Hier soir, Sasha a bu, et ensuite il a commencé à flirter avec la personne chez qui on dormait. Au début, c'était drôle. Ensuite, il a commencé à se comporter comme une espèce de lap danseuse, à se déshabiller, à se frotter au mec qui d'ailleurs avait l'air assez gêné, et pour finir, il lui a roulé un patin. C'est le moment où je suis parti. Ensuite, il est venu demander pardon. Etrangement, je n'étais pas en colère. Quelque part, j'étais comme soulagé. Il prend tellement soin de moi, ça me rend dépendant et ça me fait me sentir... Comme s'il avait pitié de moi. Je déteste ça. Hier soir, il est venu me demander pardon. Il était triste. Il m'a demandé : - Est ce que tu m'aimes ? Il ne me demande pas souvent ça, parce que je lui dis beaucoup. Mais là, il l'a demandé. Je lui ai dit que oui. Alors il a demandé : - Est ce que tu m'aimes même lorsque tu es malheureux et que tu n'aimes plus rien du tout ? C'est là que j'ai compris qu'il était beaucoup plus triste que je ne pensais. Qu'il était vraiment très malheureux. Alors j'ai menti. J'ai dit oui. Que je l'aimais pareil même dans ces moments-là. Je sais qu'il ne pourrait pas comprendre. On n'a pas fait l'amour, cette nuit. Et on n'a pas été vraiment heureux, c'est vrai. Mais on s'est tenu la main, et on a parlé. Pas de nous, pas de moi non plus. On a parlé de lui. On s'est tenu la main et on a parlé de lui. Et ça, c'est bien. On ne va pas aller au blue Lagoon, finalement. On va rentrer à Paris aujourd'hui. On va se mettre sur nos ordinateurs et on va passer au moins douze heures sans parler. Puis on sortira et on parlera à d'autres gens. On reprendra une vie normale. On s'occupera un peu de nous-mêmes, enfin surtout lui parce que c'est déjà ce que je fais. C'était des vacances magnifiques, vraiment. Mais je suis content de rentrer à la maison. La maison, ce n'est pas seulement là où il est. C'est là où il est lui-même, près de moi. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Leo commence la prépa ce matin. Depuis qu'on est rentré de vacances, tout s'est bien passé, il a fait de gros efforts pour prendre sur lui et on a passé de bons moments. Je pense que c'est aussi parce qu'on avait des tas de trucs à faire, des courses de rentrée et puis on s'est fait un programme, on a fait la cuisine, enfin on a fait plein de trucs et ça s'est bien passé. Mais hier soir évidemment, rentrée scolaire... Finalement il a pris trois de ses comprimés et il a filé au pays des rêves. Du coup il est six heures du matin et c'est moi qui suis là à stressé à sa place. Sa prépa est juste à coté, et après avoir retourné le problème dans tous les sens pendant mille ans, on a décidé que j'allais l'accompagner demain, c'est à dire aujourd'hui, parce que ça fait plus d'un an qu'on sort ensemble alors si on recommence à se cacher pour aucune raison c'est nul, il est temps d'assumer, donc voilà, je l'amène, et je viendrais le chercher, comme ça c'est fait, c'est dit, je suis gay, il est gay, tout le monde est gai. Enfin bref. Je ne sais pas quoi penser. Du fait que les vacances sont finies et que maintenant, il va bosser comme un dingue en permanence. Je ne sais vraiment pas quoi en penser. Je me demande s'il va le supporter, d'autant que ce n'est pas quelqu'un qui bosse des masses. Je l'ai toujours vu tout réussir sans en ramer une, donc je me demande si ça va marcher. En même temps, je ne l'imagine pas rater. C'est compliqué. Et puis je ne sais pas comment je vais supporter de le voir bosser tout le temps. Si je vais réussir à lui foutre la paix. En fait, je suis persuadé qu'il va y avoir besoin d'ajustements. Et puis... J'ai peur qu'il ne se fasse pas d'amis et j'ai peur qu'il s'en fasse et de ne pas les aimer, j'ai peur qu'on ai aucune vie sexuelle parce qu'il sera complètement épuisé et j'ai peur qu'il soit complètement épuisé tout court et malheureux. Je me demande s'il y a un truc auquel je n'ai pas pensé mais qui pourrait potentiellement me faire peur. J'irais bien acheter des croissants mais à mon avis, il ne va rien vouloir avaler. Je vais prendre un bain je crois. C'est dingue que je sois aussi stressé. Je viens de rentrer de son école. J'écris mon journal et puis je vais passer à ma fac, j'ai des trucs administratif à faire. Ça s'est super bien passé. Il n'était tellement pas stressé que je me suis demandé s'il planait ou je ne sais pas quoi. Quand je suis sorti du bain, c'est lui qui était allé acheter des croissants, et même des fleurs, enfin un pot au fleuriste en bas, un rosier tout petit et j'ai pas trop compris en voyant ça sur la table mais il a haussé les épaules et il m'a dit je t'aime, genre, comme ça. Du coup j'ai fermé ma gueule, j'ai dit moi aussi et je l'ai embrassé. Ensuite on est allé à sa prépa. On était super en avance bien sur - quand même. On ne s'est pas tenu la main parce qu'il m'a dit qu'il avait l'impression que sa mère l'amenait mais avant qu'il n'entre à l'intérieur parce que ça allait être l'heure, malgré les gens autour, il m'a embrassé, un vrai baiser, et il m'a encore dit je t'aime et là c'est moi qui commençait à planer. Je ne sais même pas quoi en penser. Ca me fait très plaisir. Mais c'est... Bizarre, un peu. Non ? Non, bon. Je vais à la fac. C'est ça la vie alors ? C'est juste... C'est tout... Comme ça ? Tout simple. Bon, j'y vais. Leo est sous la douche. J'ai passé l'aprem à cuisiner parce que je n'avais rien d'autre à faire et il était tout excité quand je suis allé le chercher. Sa prépa a l'air géniale, même la tonne monstrueuse de travail qu'il va avoir n'a pas l'air de lui faire peur. Il n'arrête pas de me faire de calin et Ok il sort de la douche à poil à plus. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Je commence la fac cette aprèm, enfin c'est la pré-rentrée des premières années. Leo est en cours. J'aurais bien aimé qu'il m'accompagne aussi, et qu'il m'embrasse devant tout le monde. Mais... Bon... Enfin ce n'est pas très important. Il n'avait pas cours hier, son vrai premier jour est aujourd'hui. Bref. Je suis en train de foutre plein de sauce tamari sur mon journal mais à part ça ça va. Le père de Leo ne fait que m'envoyer des sms pour avoir des nouvelles de son fils. Je trouve ça assez mignon mais surtout, je me dis qu'il me fait confiance et ça me fait très plaisir. Leo va bien pour l'instant, mais je dois dire qu'on ne parle pas trop. Le soir de sa pré-rentrée, on a fait l'amour et le lendemain, on est restés toute la matinée à se câliner. Il a commencé à bosser dès l'aprem, à lire des trucs qu'on lui avait donné, à préparer des textes, fin... C'est que le premier jour, les gars. Je n'angoisse pas trop pour la fac. Pas du tout en fait. Et ça ne m'excite pas non plus. C'est juste... Honnêtement il n'y a plus grand chose qui m'excite ou qui m'angoisse. J'ai envie d'une cigarette, mais j'essaye d'arrêter parce que Leo n'aime pas ça. Enfin des fois il aime. On parlait de ça je ne sais plus quand, que je devrais essayer d'arrêter, et il m'a dit qu'il ne voulait pas que je supprime ma cigarette à la menthe d'après l'amour parce qu'il adore ça il trouve que je suis trop beau à ce moment-là alors... Il a changé. Leo. Il a beaucoup changé. Je veux dire, pas dans les derniers jours, mais dans l'année écoulée. J'y pense parce que je repense à la rentrée en terminale, il y a un an, quand on commençait à sortir ensemble et je me dis qu'il a beaucoup, beaucoup changé. En bien, je veux dire. Il s'est ouvert, il est plus heureux, même s''il y a aussi des trucs négatifs qui se sont un peu amplifiés. Enfin c'est le bordel un peu mais dans l'ensemble je crois que c'est bien. C'est normal, on grandit j'imagine. Moi aussi je crois que j'ai changé, que j'ai beaucoup changé. Je fous moins le bordel dans ma vie, et ça je sais que c'est parce qu'il y est, dans ma vie. Il est comme un point fixe qui m'empêche de tout bousculer n'importe comment. Peut-être qu'on se tire l'un l'autre vers le haut, j'en sais rien. Bref. Je vais aller à la fac, c'est l'heure. C'est à cinq minutes à pieds, c'est très cool. Et puis sur le trajet du retour, j'irais m'acheter des cigarettes mentholées. Hey, c'est mon premier jour à la fac. Ce soit, il faudra fêter ça. Bon bah on ne va rien fêter du tout. Je suis sur mon lit à écouter de la musique avec mon casque. Leo est dans sa chambre avec trois filles de sa classe à faire du grec. - ou du latin ou du portugais et de se faire ta mère pour ce que je m'en tape. Il m'a quand même présenté et on s'est embrassé mais après... Je gênais quoi. Du coup je suis allé dans ma chambre, celle ou on dort, et... Ça m'énerve parce que j'ai l'impression d'attendre qu'il ait fini. Mais ce n'est pas possible ça. Si je commence à attendre après lui comme ça, je ne vais pas être heureux moi. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Quand il sourit comme il me souriait tout à l'heure, j'ai tellement honte que ça me bouffe au point de m'empêcher de dormir. Et j'ai besoin de sommeil, pourtant... Après les cours, j'ai invité trois filles de ma classe dans notre appartement pour bosser. J'aime bien bosser en groupe, tout seul je n'ai aucune motivation. Je ne pensais pas que ça poserait un problème à Sasha. Et au début, ça n'en posait pas. Il est rentré, il est venu dire bonjour et puis il est allé dans sa chambre et il a fermé la porte. A un moment, j'ai eu envie d'une pause alors je suis allé le voir, histoire d'avoir un câlin. Il était roulé en boule avec ses écouteurs et il avait l'air vide. Même pas énervé à m'envoyer des piques, j'aurais préféré. Juste endormi. - Ça te dérange que j'invite des gens ? Je suis désolé de ne pas t'avoir prévenu mais... - Non non. Alors j'ai essayé de comprendre ce qui n'allait pas. Et puis j'ai réalisé que c'était son premier jour de fac aujourd'hui, que je ne lui avais même pas demandé comment ça s'était passé. Et quand j'ai posé la question, il m'a lancé ce sourire, tellement douloureux. Parce que tellement triste, dépité, et pire, l'air de penser que ce n'était pas étonnant que je ne m'en rappelle pas. Parce que j'étais nul. Et j'ai vraiment eu honte. Du coup, j'ai dit à tout le monde que je préférais qu'on remette à une autre fois, au lendemain soir, mais c'était trop tard. Je n'avais pas fait attention à lui. C'était trop tard. J'ai fait la cuisine, je lui ai fait des blagues, je lui ai posé des questions, je suis même allé perdre ma tête entre ses hanches mais rien à faire. Même quand il s'est endormi dans mes bras tout à l'heure, je sentais qu'un truc n'allait pas. Et je n'aurais pas une minute pour m'en occuper avant samedi midi. Après demain. J'essaye d'imaginer, quand j'allais mal, si Sasha avait été là, près de moi, mais pas libre. Je l'aurais très mal vécu, je l'aurais viré. Je me serais senti abandonné. Je ne veux pas qu'il ressente ça. J'ai fait une prépa parce que j'avais le niveau et que je ne savais pas quoi faire d'autre. Mais je ne sais pas si je suis prêt à laisser tout le monde de côté pendant un an. Je vais poser mon journal et retourner près de lui. Qu'on passe au moins la totalité de nos nuits ensembles.Bonne nuit. Journal de Leo, Vendredi 5 septembre 2014 C'est la pause de midi. J'ai encore cours tout l'aprèm, ce qui signifie plein de devoirs qui peuvent encore s'ajouter à la pile, et j'ai mon premier DST demain matin. Ensuite, le week-end... Va être passé à bosser. C'est vraiment ça alors, ce n'était pas une blague. Cela dit, pour l'instant c'est absolument passionnant. Je n'avais jamais eu le cerveau en ébullition de cette manière et j'adore. Sasha est à la maison, il n'a court que le matin. Il vient de m'envoyer ses horaires, une vraie blague. Je me demande ce qu'il va faire de tout son temps libre. Je me demande si une personne en prépa et une personne à la fac peuvent vraiment être colocs. Même si on n'est pas exactement colocs. J'espère qu'il va bien. Je sais que mon père lui parle tous les jours, de moi. Je vais demander à mon père d'essayer de voir comment lui va, au passage. C'est drôle. Mes parents, Elios et Juliette, ils ne me manquent pas. Pas le temps. On retourne en cours. Salut. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Journal de Sasha - Lundi 8 septembre. Ça va un peu mieux. Ça n'allait pas franchement mal. J'étais triste parce que je crois que ni Leo ni moi n'avions pris garde au fait que ça allait être... Aussi violent. Sa prépa. Que ça allait lui prendre autant de temps. Et logiquement, ça devrait vouloir dire que je prends soin de lui, pour l'aider au maximum. Mais soyons honnêtes... Je prends déjà beaucoup trop soin de lui. Ca fait des mois que c'est comme ça, et moi... Qui s'occupe de moi ? Il a fait un effort ce weekend. Samedi, il a fait le marché, le repas, pendant que je faisais la grasse matinée. On a mangé, on est sorti. On est allé s'acheter des fournitures scolaires, on est passé à Beaubourg, on a acheté de la nourriture chinoise et on l'a mangé assis de chaque côté de la baignoire. C'était vraiment bien, c'était nous, ce côté romantico-stupide. Ca me manquait. Il m'a lavé les cheveux et c'est peut être con, mais ce sont des petits trucs comme ça qui me font me dire que ça va, que l'on s'en sort, que l'on s'aime et que ça va tenir encore longtemps. Le lendemain, il n'a fait que bosser toute la journée, mais le soir on est allé au cinéma. Et j'ai compris qu'il allait falloir que j'accepte que je vivais... Comme seul. Que l'on avait beau être en couple et dans le même appart, c'était comme être seul assez souvent, parce qu'il est occupé. Je sais qu'il fait des efforts, je n'ai pas envie de lui demander plus. C'est bien comme ça. Si je lui en demande trop il va refaire des crises, et je ne le supporterais pas. De ce côté là il a l'air d'aller assez bien.Alors je suis heureux. Parce que je l'aime. Du coup aujourd'hui, j'ai passé presque un cours entier à réfléchir à ce que je pourrais faire pour meubler mon temps libre de façon plus intéressante qu'en trainant. Avant, je passais mon temps à faire la fête / boire / baiser, comme n'importe quelle petite tapette pleine aux as détestant sa vie. Mais bon, ça, c'est terminé depuis un moment, donc il faut être chose. Tache une, décorer l'appartement. Tache deux, continuer à me constituer une bibliothèque de livres rares et autres machins dignes de ce nom. Tache trois, me perfectionner dans le sport de mon choix. Tache quatre, me perfectionner dans l'art de mon choix. Tache cinq, me lancer dans une œuvre humanitaire. Bon, je sais que je ne ferais pas tout, mais c'est dans l'idée. Du coup cet aprèm, je vais passer dans le foyer associatif de la fac. Parce que le point six pourrait être Faire chaque jour une chose qui me terrifie, cf Eleanor Roosevelt, mais du coup ça serait plutôt une chose qui m'emmerde, et donc aujourd'hui, ça sera fricoter avec des gens associatifs. Je n'aime pas les gens associatifs. Ils ont des gouts vestimentaires " moches mais pratiques " autrement dit DESASTREUX. Vous pensez que ma veste en daim cloutée hyper cintrée tient chaud, peut-être ? Ou quelle est confortable ? Bah non. Elle est hyper belle, hyper cher et hyper pas pratique. C'est l'idée. Enfin bref. See ya. Journal de Sasha, mercredi 21 septembre. J'ai eu mon premier cours de Krav-maga avec Jules, aujourd'hui. C'est le président de l'association... Des élèves, j'imagine ? Enfin un truc comme ça. Comme le BDE, mais en moins snob de droite polo Lacoste. En plus... associatif pas rasé pull trop grand on fait une AG. Pas. Mon type. Du tout. Quand je suis allé à l'assoc', là, il y a dix jours, ils proposaient juste un milliards de trucs, je n'arrivais pas à choisir. Du coup, j'ai été abordé par un mec pas trop beau, du genre nounours tendance PedoBear, qui est venu me proposer de participer à la défense de je ne sais pas quoi, ou alors à un cours de danse, et tout me plaisait, ou alors rien, je ne savais pas trop. Du coup, il a fini par m'offrir, même pas un café - quand même pas - mais une tisane bio qui sentait le vieux foin, on s'est assis et on a discuté. A la fin, il a réussi à me faire m'inscrire à un cours de Krav-maga, enfin d'ailleurs ça ne s'appelle pas comme ça mais j'aime bien ce nom, un cours d'auto défense. Il m'a dit que normalement c'était pour les filles, enfin qu'on le conseillait aux filles qui avaient peur dans les rues le soir - Donc, toutes les filles non inconscientes - mais je lui ai dit qu'avec mon petit cul et mes grands yeux, ça me servirait tout à fait. Du coup, voilà. C'est tout les mercredis. Mais j'avais oublié d'en parler à Leo, et mercredi dernier il était à la maison en train de réviser, je lui ai parlé de ça, il m'a demandé si j'avais peur le soir, si des gens m'emmerdaient, et je ne sais pas très bien par quoi la discussion est passée mais finalement je ne suis pas allé à mon cours parce qu'on a fait l'amour et qu'après il était trop tard. Je crois que je lui ai joué le puceau en détresse et qu'au lieu de jurer de me protéger, il a joué le vilain bad boy et ensuite il m'a emmené au lit pour m'agresser pour de bon et c'était terrible parce que je riais comme une baleine mais il m'aime IL M'AIME. Bref. Donc. Je suis allé à mon cours de Krav-Maga, et Jules-Nounours était là aussi. Il s'est mis sur le coté avec moi pour me faire un cours particulier avec ce que j'avais raté la semaine précédente. Et pendant qu'il m'apprenait des techniques pour crever les yeux des gens avec les ongles - je résume - on a parlé et il m'a expliqué qu'il était chargé de TD d'une de mes matières, mais je ne suis pas dans son groupe. Enfin peu importe, mais en tout cas c'était vraiment bien, et je crois que je me suis un peu fait un ami. Ce qui est chouette. Leo est pas mal stressé, et je me demande s'il n'a pas fait une petite crise en cours aujourd'hui, mais il me dit de ne pas m'occuper de ça et qu'il a besoin d'apprendre à gérer tout seul. Si tu le dis, champion. Journal de Sasha, mercredi 28 septembre. Je suis au local associatif de la fac, Jules m'a fait un vrai café - équitable, évidemment - et il bosse sur son ordi en attendant que j'ai fini d'écrire dans mon journal. Ou l'inverse, je ne sais pas. Bref. Je n'ai que ce cours, le mercredi, enfin ce cours... Je n'ai que cette activité. Mais comme j'essaye de sortir au maximum pour ne pas me retrouver seul dans ma chambre à l'appart, avec Leo qui soit A) Travaille dans le bureau avec des filles de sa classe soit B) est chez des filles de sa classe en train de travailler, j'ai décidé de rester un peu après, avec Jules. Je ne sais pas si c'est mon ami dans la mesure où je n'ai pas son numéro et qu'on ne se parle qu'au Krav-Maga, mais en tout cas c'est sympa. Il n'est vraiment pas très beau, mais il est cool. Un peu ours, bavard, gentil. J'aime bien. Un vrai gars gentil de la campagne, qui veut sauver le monde. J'ai rencontré sa copine, elle est pire que lui, genre dreadlocks et sarouel en chanvre bio équitable. Beurk. Bref. Jules me parle. Il me demande s'il me dérange. C'est difficile à comprendre pour les gens que ouais, j'écris mon journal tout le temps et voilà, c'est comme ça, ça ne veut pas dire que je ne veux pas parler, c'est juste que j'extériorise. - T'as encore besoin d'extérioriser après une heure et demie de lutte ? Bah écoute. J'ai beaucoup de choses à extérioriser. J'ai refermé mon journal et je lui ai parlé. Et ça m'a fait du bien. Je suis rentré à la maison, là, Leo est en train de lire et j'écris à côté de lui en attendant que le diner termine de cuire. En gros, je lui ai parlé de Leo. Je ne dirais pas que je lui ai vidé mon sac, mais... Un peu quand même. Parce que ces temps-ci... Ça ne va pas superbement bien, avec Leo. Enfin, avec Leo, ça va. On ne se dispute pas, mais on est en passe de devenir un vieux couple horrible. On vit le dimanche, entre 9h et 16h. Point. On se réveille à neuf heures. On fait l'amour jusqu'à onze heures. Genre, bien. Genre, la totale. On va faire le marché. On rentre, on cuisine, on mange. A 14h, on s'allonge dans le lit cote à cote. Et on parle. Pendant deux heures, on se blottit l'un contre l'autre et on parle. Ca fait sept heures rien qu'à nous. Par semaine. Et ça ne me suffit pas. Je ne sais pas comment le dire autrement, mais ça ne me suffit pas. Je m'en sors bien pour l'instant, je fais plein d'expo, d'achats, de découvertes, de promenades, je lis beaucoup... Mais j'ai peur de basculer dans les fêtes étudiantes et de déconner, du coup niveau vie sociale, ce n'est pas la joie. Mais ça me fait du bien. Donc... Ça va. Je veux dire, voilà. Ça va. C'est juste que j'aimerais avoir un copain plus présent. C'est tout. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Dans dix jours c'est les vacances. Je le sais, j'ai compté. J'en ai tellement besoin. Bien sur, le dernier samedi j'ai un DST de 4h mais bon. Peu importe, je m'en fous, après j'ai DIX JOURS SANS TRAVAIL. Et nos profs nous on prévenus que l'on aurait pas trop de devoirs. Ce qui est franchement chouette. D'après eux on peut tout boucler en cinq jours pas trop violent, ce qui en laisse CINQ à ne rien faire. Cinq. Jours. Tranquille. Je sais que j'ai complètement délaissé tout le monde depuis un mois, j'ai n'ai pas téléphoné à mes parents depuis au moins une semaine, je n'ai répondu ni à Juliette ni à Elios, je crains, j'ai complètement délaissé Sasha aussi. Je n'arrive même pas à réfléchir, mais le truc qui est chouette c'est que je suis tellement concentré sur mes études que je... Vais assez bien. C'est prenant, mais pas épuisant. Du coup, je le vis bien, je me nourris de façon quasiment normale et à part quelques petites crises d'angoisses avant des DST ou à la fin de soirées de révision trop longues, tout va assez bien. Sasha à l'air d'aller bien aussi. Il a invité deux de ces amis à diner, ce soir. Il va à de cours de self défense, il allait avec eux au cinéma et ils viennent diner ensemble. Ça fait beaucoup trop longtemps que je ne suis pas allé au cinéma. J'ai fait le diner, j'attends qu'ils arrivent en écrivant un peu. J'ai à peine le temps d'écrire mon journal tellement je suis occupé. Et ça m'énerve parce que je me demande pourquoi je fais ça. Et je ne suis pas sur de la réponse. Mais bon. On verra. Les voilà. J'ai mal au ventre, mais les cigarettes à la menthe de Sasha me calment. Le diner était sympa. C'était un couple d'amis, en fait. Jules et Mélina. Je n'ai pas très bien compris quand je les aient vus, parce que ce n'est pas du tout le type de personne que j'imagine être amis avec Sasha. Mais c'est bien, j'imagine. Il change. Mais je suis triste. J'ai l'impression de passer à côté des changements qui s'opèrent chez lui. Ils riaient. Ils parlaient de trucs. Que Sasha ne m'a pas raconté. Et là ils sont partis dans un bar, mais moi j'étais trop fatigué. J'aurais dû y aller avec eux, mais... Ce n'est pas grave. Ces vacances, je rattraperais le temps perdu. On sera bien. Ça sera bien. Et peut être que pendant un moment Sasha et moi on s'aimera de vacances en vacances et de dimanche en dimanche, mais... Merde. SMS : Tu penses que tu seras toujours amoureux de moi dans deux ans, après la prépa ? SMS de Sasha : Tu crois que je supporterais que tu fasses ça et que tu sois autant occupé si c'était pour te lâcher quand tu seras libre, riche et encore plus beau gosse ? Merde. Il est trop adorable, il me fait craquer. SMS : Je suis désolé de te demander ça par sms mais est ce que tu penses qu'on devrait parler de comment ça se passe avec moi qui bosse tout le temps ou est ce que ça va ? SMS de Sasha : Arrête de stresser, ça va. Tout va bien, je t'aime et je suis avec toi. D'accord ? Je roule comme un chaton en grognant. Oh et puis merde. Je serais fatigué demain. SMS : D'accord. Vous êtes dans quel bar ? J'arrive. SMS de Sasha : Mon bébééééé d'amour. Dans celui avec le chien dessiné, tu vois ? SMS : Je vois. J'arrive. Je reviens près de toi, mon amour. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- La vidéo est manifestement filmée avec le téléphone de Sasha - on reconnaît la tâche sur l'objectif en haut à gauche, visible sur toutes les photos ultérieures. La qualité est très basse, la vidéo ayant été filmée dans un bar peu éclairé. Il s'agit d'un enregistrement partiellement flou, durant plusieurs minutes, sur lequel on voit Leo boire shot après shot, encouragé par la voix de Sasha le défiant d'un boire " encore un " plusieurs fois d'affilés. Leo semble déjà dans un état d'ébriété avancé au début de l'enregistrement. Il ne cesse de secouer la tête en demandant à arrêter, mais descend néanmoins les shots demandés par son petit ami. Deux personnes identifiées comme " Jules " et " Mélina " sont également sur la vidéo, une femme et un homme d'une vingtaine d'années, manifestement avec Sasha et Leo. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Journal de Leo, vendredi 21 octobre 2014 Il est une heure du matin, mais je ne sais même pas si je vais pouvoir me rendormir. On s'est disputés comme ça n'était pas arrivé depuis... Je ne sais même pas si on s'est déjà disputés comme ça. Hier soir, enfin mercredi, je l'ai rejoint au bar et c'était, et bien je crois que c'était chouette mais je ne m'en souviens pas très bien. Le seul truc dont je me rappelle, c'est qu'on est rentré à au moins trois heures du matin, et complètement... Sasha dirait complètement torchés. J'ai un souvenir assez incompréhensible de faire l'amour dans l'escalier mais j'espère que l'on en a seulement parlé. Sasha n'est pas sûr non plus. Peu importe. Ca ne sera pas la première fois, finalement. Je n'arrive pas à croire que l'on en est arrivé là. A pouvoir faire l'amour dans l'escalier. Si on l'a fait. Mais... Bref. Ce n'est pas le sujet. Toujours est-il que ce matin quand mon réveil a sonné, c'était la pire chose que j'avais entendu de ma vie entière. Sasha a allégrement séché la fac, mais moi il est hors de question que je rate un cours magistral à Louis Le Grand parce que j'ai la gueule de bois. Même si a ce stade, ce n'est plus une gueule de bois, c'est très largement le stade au-dessus. Le stade zombie. Juste avant le stade vomi. Je me suis fait humilier par un de mes professeurs, qui m'a fait la leçon devant toute la classe sur le fait qu'être entré dans une prépa de renom n'était qu'une minuscule première étape et que si je venais à ses cours dans cet état pitoyable, je n'irais nul part dans la vie, et etcetera. Quand je suis rentré, Sasha était encore au lit. J'étais en cours à souffrir le martyr et lui il dormait. Et ça m'a mis en colère. C'est bête, je sais. Mais c'était insupportable. Ma tête me faisait tellement mal. Je lui ai crié dessus. Sur l'appartement pas rangé. Sur la vaisselle. Sur le fait que je faisais tout alors que moi je faisais des études et que lui il dormait sans même aller à la fac et que c'était injuste et qu'il était nul, nul. J'étais tellement en colère. Je lui ai dit que c'était de sa faute. Qu'il m'avait entrainé la dedans hier. Qu'il aurait dû m'en empêcher, me soutenir, ne pas me pousser à boire. Qu'il n'était qu'un fils à papa pourri gâté et... J'ai dû m'arrêter d'écrire parce que j'ai tellement honte de toutes les horreurs que je lui ai dit que je me suis mis à pleurer. Il faut que je me calme sinon je vais finir par ramper devant la porte de sa chambre en meuglant des excuses larmoyantes. Il faut que je me calme. Je suis calme. Mais c'est de sa faute, aussi. Pourquoi il me fait ça ? Parce que je n'ai pas dit tout ça comme ça. Je lui ai dit que dans dix jours on serait en vacances et qu'on pourrait boire autant qu'on voudrait et tout ça et qu'on ferrait la fête à ce moment-là mais que quand je bossais, je bossais, on en avait déjà parlé. Et là, il... Il m'a dit qu'il partait en stage avec son cours de self-défense idiot. Pendant les vacances. Qu'est ce que ça peut m'énerver. On a plus le temps de se voir à cause de ma prépa, et lui, il préfère passer ses vacances sans moi. Je ne savais pas quoi dire, sur le coup. Et quand j'ai retrouvé la parole... J'ai sorti toutes ces horreurs sur Sasha le fils à papa égoïste. Ça me donne à nouveau envie de pleurer. J'étais en train d'écrire et la porte a claquée. Il vient de partir. Même pas le courage de lui courir après. Je vais me coucher. Ca ne sert à rien que je ne dorme encore pas et que j'arrive encore plus défoncé en cours demain. J'ai l'impression que ma gueule de bois continue. Il faut que ça s'arrête. Qu'est ce qui se passe ? Il est trois heures du matin. Aucune nouvelle de Sasha et je n'arrive pas à dormir. En plus j'ai vraiment l'impression que ça ne se règlera pas en pleurnichant après lui et en demandant pardon. Je ne comprends même pas pourquoi je me suis énervé comme ça. Ni pourquoi tout m'a l'air si... Peu important maintenant. J'ai la tête complètement vide. Je déteste ça. Alors je tripote les deux breloques sur notre bracelet, le cœur avec le grelot et la mappemonde. Il faut que je dorme. Il sera là demain. Il n'est pas là. Je dois filer en cours. Je voudrais lui laisser un mot sur le frigo ou je ne sais quoi, mais qu'est-ce que j'y écrirais ? " Pardon ? " C'est ridicule. Je n'arrive même pas à lui envoyer un sms et je n'ai pas les couilles de l'attendre ici. Mes cours sont plus importants. C'est complètement nul. Je suis complètement nul. Journal de Leo, dimanche 23 octobre 2014 Sasha dort à côté de moi. Étendu sur le côté, la couette sur les reins, le dos nu, les cheveux en bordel. On dirait que le sommeil l'a jeté là, qu'il est tombé sur le lit, alangui. Il ressemble à une peinture. A un nu d'Ingres. J'écris à côté de lui. Il est rentré hier dans l'après-midi. Il avait une sale tête, avec des cernes jusqu'aux pommettes, les cheveux sales tombant sur son front. Il n'était pas en colère contre moi. Quand il est rentré, j'étais dans ma chambre, je suis venu le rejoindre à la cuisine en entendant la porte d'entrée. Il n'a rien dit, j'ai ouvert les bras et il s'est blotti dedans. - Tu crois qu'il faut qu'on parle ? J'ai demandé. Et il a secoué la tête. - S'il te plait, non. Il a répondu. On n'a pas parlé. On s'est installé dans la cuisine et on a bossé tous les deux, pour une fois qu'il avait quelque chose à faire pour la fac. A un moment, il a posé la main sur mon poignet, a tourné mon bras, celui ou je faisais des bêtises, avant. Je n'aime pas cette expression, faire des bêtises, pour parler de ça. Mais ma mère dit ça. C'est resté. Sasha a remonté ma manche, je l'ai laissé faire sans rien dire. Il a regardé, il a passé son doigt sur les cicatrices. Elles ne sont pas si vieilles, la plupart, mais elles ont déjà blanchies. Sauf la grosse, la rose au milieu du bras, celle où j'ai eu des points. Je lui ai demandé s'il en cherchait de nouvelles. Il a hoché la tête, il a murmuré : - J'y pensais aujourd'hui. Que je n'avais pas fait attention à ça, que j'aurais peut-être dû. Mais je n'en vois pas. Je devrais regarder ailleurs ? J'ai eu envie de sourire, j'ai eu envie de répondre, " est ce que c'est une excuse pour me déshabiller ? " mais le problème c'est que je ne me sentais pas de rire de ça. Il me mettait mal à l'aise, un peu. Alors j'ai seulement dit : - Non. Et j'ai ajouté : - Je n'ai pas fait ça depuis cet été. Il a hoché la tête, il a caressé encore mon bras. Il a demandé : - Est ce que ça va mieux ? - Ca va forcément mieux. Je ne suis plus à l'hôpital, je mange tous les jours et je ne me fais pas de mal. - Je sais ça. Mais je veux savoir si dans ta tête ça va mieux. Il regardait un peu ailleurs, il avait l'air fatigué. Mais il y avait quelque chose dans la façon dans il caressait mon bras, qui me disait que nous avions le temps, que nous avions la force, que nous étions fait d'un matériau solide, de ceux qui plient mais ne rompent pas. - Ca va mieux. J'ai posé ma main sur la sienne, il a souri quand nos doigts se sont entremêlés, un sourire intérieur qui débordait un peu. Et c'est peut être bête, mais c'est fou à quel point j'ai pu sentir que l'on s'aimait, à ce moment-là. - Ca ne va pas bien. Et je ne sais pas si ça ira bien un jour, et quand. Mais même si ça ne va pas bien, ça ne va pas mal non plus. Et ça va mieux qu'avant. Tu comprends ? Il a hoché la tête, et il a dit quelque chose, que je savais et que je ne voulais pas entendre, mais qui quelque part, m'a soulagé parce qu'il avait besoin de l'admettre, je crois. Il a dit: - Moi non plus, ça ne va pas bien. - Est ce que ça va mal ? - Parfois. Parfois, ça va mal. - Et est ce qu'il y a quelque chose que je pourrais faire, quand ça va mal ? Est-ce que je dois plus m'occuper de toi ? Il a secoué la tête, il s'est levé. Il a dit : - C'est moi qui m'occupe de toi. C'est comme ça qu'on marche. Il savait que ça me ferait mal, parce que le reproche là dessous était vraiment immense, et je n'ai pas su comment réagir. Mais il s'est glissé derrière moi, il a posé ses bras autour de moi, de mes épaules. Il a embrassé mes cheveux et il a dit : - J'aimerais que tu puisses plus t'occuper de moi. Mais je n'y arrive pas. Je te vois faire des efforts, tu sais. Mais je n'arrive pas à l'accepter. A te laisser faire. Je tenais ses bras autour de moi, je le tenais contre moi. J'ai demandé : - Parce que tu as du mal à avoir besoin de moi ? A l'admettre ? - Non. Parce que j'ai peur que tu ne puisses pas m'aider. Pas me soutenir comme je le voudrais. Pas m'aimer comme j'en ai envie. J'ai peur d'être déçu. Pas de toi, mais... Je ne sais pas. De te demander de m'aider, mais de le faire mal, à mi-voix, trop doucement, de façon trop ambiguë... Et de me retrouver par terre. En y repensant, je crois que c'est la première fois que l'on avait une discussion comme ça. Et même si c'était triste, c'était agréable aussi. Ça ne me blessait pas, étrangement. Peut-être rien qu'à cause de ses bras autour de moi, peut-être parce que je sentais qu'il m'aimait, qu'il avait confiance en moi et que c'était autre chose, quelque chose qui était à l'intérieur de lui. Après ça, on a cessé de travailler, on s'est mis au lit. On a continué à parler, les mots s'entrecroisaient avec les baisers, ils tombaient au sol comme nos tee-shirt et nos chaussettes. Je respirais son odeur, j'avais l'impression qu'elle était différente. Il sentait l'hiver, il sentait le froid. Et je ne comprends pas. Comment il a pu changer autant si vite. Mais quand on a fait l'amour, il était la même personne. Accroché à moi. Avec cet air rêveur sur le visage, de qui s'est perdu dans le ciel, de qui a trouvé la lune. Les lèvres roses, l'odeur d'hiver s'affaiblissant, Sasha au creux de mes bras redevenant mon printemps. Après l'amour, avant la nuit, il était dans mes bras. Et tout comme lui, quelques heures auparavant, j'ai parlé. Moi qui avais eu tant de mal avec les mots, depuis le début de notre histoire. Mais qui avait dû m'arracher de la gorge mon premier je t'aime, le premier depuis la mort de mon frère. Je lui ai dit : - Je sais qu'au début, l'été dernier, je n'avais pas du tout confiance en nous. Je sais que j'ai mis du temps, que j'ai dû être horrible à vivre, quand on commençait juste à sortir ensemble, que j'allais si mal, je n'étais pas capable d'avoir confiance. J'étais complètement refermé. Mais... Ensuite, c'est venu. C'est venu vite. Je crois que c'est au nouvel an, l'année dernière. Quand on a fait l'amour dans ta salle de jeux, alors qu'il y avait ton copain en bas. Que je me suis dit... Que ce qu'il y avait entre nous, c'était... C'est fou que je me sois dit ça alors qu'on n'était même pas ensemble, mais malgré tout, j'ai pensé que l'on avait quelque chose de solide. Quelque chose qui ne pouvait pas être briser définitivement. Alors, je sais qu'on a traversé des tas de trucs nuls, toi et moi. Et qu'on n'a pas été ensemble tout le temps, peut être que tu as cru à des moments que l'on était fragile, mais moi j'ai confiance en nous. Et j'ai conscience qu'on traverse un moment assez moche. Il a remué un peu, je le sentais mal à l'aise, mais il n'a rien dit. Je l'ai serré un peu plus fort, il s'est agrippé. Il m'a dit qu'il m'aimait, j'ai murmuré que moi aussi. Et puis j'ai terminé ce que j'avais à dire. - Même si c'est un moment assez moche. Je sais qu'on va... S'en sortir. J'ai tellement, profondément confiance en nous. Que je sais qu'on va s'en sortir. Et qu'on va être, comme avant, et mieux, qu'on va être tous les deux et... Je ne sais pas. J'ai confiance. Il y a un truc entre toi et moi. Un truc qui est vrai. Il m'a coupé. - C'est limite flippant que ça soit toi qui dises ces choses-là. Je lui ai donné un coup de genou, il a ri tout bas. - Mais j'aime bien. - Je préfère ça. Et puis j'ai demandé : - Mais tu y crois ? - Qu'il y a quelque chose de vrai entre toi et moi ? Quelque chose de spécial ? - Oui. - Bien sûr que j'y crois. Il se réveille. J'écrirais plus tard. On est dimanche aujourd'hui, j'ai envie de passer ce moment avec lui. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Les roses sont rouges, mais des fois non, ce poème est artistique, poutre. Je suis high. C'est trop bien. C'est trop trop bien. C'était une trop bonne journée. Je suis Joie. Non mais vraiment, je vous jure. J'ai été carrément au trente-sixième dessus pendant plusieurs jours-là, depuis que Leo m'a gueulé dessus et qu'en réponse je suis parti. J'ai passé deux nuits chez Jules, j'ai résisté à l'envie de lui faire des avances auxquelles il n'aurait pas pu résister juste pour me sentir sale après, j'ai résisté à environ toutes les conneries que j'aurais pu faire. Je suis revenu, j'ai enfin pu parler à Leo et c'était dur, c'était bon mais c'était dur et le lendemain c'est-à-dire aujourd'hui, on a fumé dans le lit et on a rien fait que faire l'amour, parler et remplir la pièce de fumée de joints et je suis encore un peu high, je suis redescendu avec une infinie douceur et je flotte encore un peu au-dessus du sol, je suis tellement bien. Le lendemain J'étais en train d'écrire allongé en caleçon sur le lit, hier, mais Leo est revenu de la douche et il m'a dit un truc, ce n'était tellement pas lui et tellement lui à la fois, c'était ces moments où il prend un peu d'assurance et où je me dis que je l'aime comme un malade. Il m'a dit : - Mais qui t'as donné le droit de te rhabiller ? Et il m'a sauté dessus, m'a enlevé mon caleçon et a commencé à me tailler une pipe et MES AIEUX c'était tellement bien. En fait je crois que rien que d'y repenser je vais finir par bander en cours. Je suis en cours là. Mais j'écoute que dalle parce qu'hier j'ai pas pu écrire mon journal, on avait passé l'après-midi à se caresser partout lentement et à faire l'amour avec nos esprits ralentis, évaporés dans la fumée et quand il est revenu, je pensais qu'il allait passer la soirée à travailler sur ses cours mais à la place on a fait l'amour beaucoup moins sensuellement et beaucoup plus violement et salement et merveilleusement et Connard. A la base si je tiens mon journal en français c'est parce qu'après des années à prendre des cours en allemand et en anglais, mon niveau de français écrit est pas mal redescendu et c'était un moyen comme un autre de remédier à ça. Le problème c'est que du coup, il y a toujours des cons pour penser que lire par-dessus mon épaule n'est genre, pas un problème. - Et il a une grosse bite ? Et qui se permette de commenter. Ça m'a tellement énervé que j'ai fermé mon journal et maintenant je le tiens à moitié fermé en écrivant, dans un coin au fond de la salle des associations, là. On n'est pas mercredi mais finalement j'aime bien aller ici, quand je ne sais pas où aller d'autre. Entre deux cours, par exemple. Jules y est presque tout le temps, soit il bosse pour les assoss, soit il bosse pour son cours de TD, soit il bosse sur sa thèse. Mais dans tous les cas, il est toujours disponible pour parler. Il arrive avec un thé, d'ailleurs. Plus tard. Je suis à la maison. Leo n'est pas là mais il m'a envoyé un sms pour me prévenir qu'il révisait son latin avec une fille et qu'il rentrerait pour le diner. Je lui ai demandé si c'était un message codé pour dire qu'il s'envoyait en l'air avec elle et il m'a répondu... En latin. Je n'ai pas compris. Bref. J'ai eu une discussion... Particulière, avec Jules. Plaisante, mais... Je ne sais pas. Je lui ai raconté ce qui s'était passé avec le con de ma classe. Il m'a calmé, m'a dit que ce n'était qu'un imbécile, m'a rassuré sur le fait que je n'étais pas un bébé d'écrire mon journal et qu'il trouvait ça mignon. Puis il demandé : - Et du coup... Il a une grosse bite ? J'ai probablement eu une réaction étrange. Enfin, je l'ai bousculé, j'ai rigolé et j'ai dit qu'il était con, mais ensuite, je ne sais pas, je crois que c'est parce que depuis que je suis avec Leo je ne drague plus jamais personne et même si je me sens désiré par lui je ne me sens pas autant désiré qu'avant, je ne suis plus dans le jeu perpétuel dans lequel je vivais ou je construisais mon château de cartes et je balançais les garçons depuis le haut en me débrouillant pour ne pas tomber avec eux. Je ne me sens plus tout puissant comme je me sentais avant, je ne me sens plus aussi beau et précieux, je suis acquis et ça me rend triste. - Je te plais ? Je l'ai demandé tellement froidement que ça a dû être étrange. Sans faire la moue, sans avoir l'air désespéré. Je voulais seulement savoir, si j'avais toujours ce pouvoir. Comme il me regardait sans répondre, j'ai posé la main sur sa cuisse, je l'ai remonté et il a posé la sienne par-dessus avant que je n'aille trop loin. - Non. Mais je t'aime bien. J'ai enlevé ma main. J'ai rangé mes affaires et il n'a pas cherché à me retenir quand je suis parti. Maintenant je me sens un peu triste. Plus tard Je suis dans la salle de bains, je n'arrivais pas à dormir. J'étais triste alors j'ai fait la cuisine pour Leo, quelque chose qu'il serrait content de manger, des légumes grillés. Il était content. Moi je souriais pour de faux. Mais il ne l'a pas vu. Et dans le lit, quand je me suis glissé dans mes bras, c'est peut être une impression mais il m'a tenu moins longtemps que d'habitude avant de se tourner sur le côté pour dormir. Il ne faut pas que je pense tout ça. Je vais retourner dormir. Ça va aller. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Journal de Leo, dimanche 30 octobre Je suis chez mes parents. C'est les vacances et finalement, ça me fait du bien aussi d'être sans Sasha. Il me manque, mais on se téléphone tous les soirs. Je ne me sens plus coupable de passer du temps à travailler et de parfois, quand je ne travaille pas, d'avoir envie d'être tranquille, de ne rien faire. A Paris, dès que je ne suis pas en train d'étudier le grec ancien ou la grammaire, je me force à sortir avec Sasha ou même à lui parler, à faire des trucs avec lui, peu importe quoi. Je ne me force pas, j'adore passer tout ce temps avec lui. Mais parfois j'ai envie d'être seul avec moi-même, d'être tranquille mais je n'ose pas. J'ai déjà peu de temps à lui consacrer, je n'ai pas envie de réduire ça encore et les rares fois où je l'ai fait, il m'a fait me sentir nul. Où je me suis senti nul tout seul, je ne sais pas. Il est dans son camp de je ne sais pas quoi, là. Défense. Dans son stage. Il arrive à la fin de la semaine, j'aurais fini tous mes devoirs et on pourra avoir nos vraies vacances rien qu'à nous. En attendant, je profite de mes parents, de mes amis, de ne pas être en cours. Et d'aller... Mieux. Je crois que ce n'est pas facile de se rendre compte que l'on va mieux, ou même que l'on va mal. Lorsqu'on se sent comme je me sens, on a l'impression que ça a toujours été comme ça. On ne parvient pas à se rappeler d'un moment où on ressentait les choses autrement, ou l'on avait l'impression d'aller bien. Mais ici il y a mes vieux journaux, il y a des notes que j'ai prises, il y a des objets mêmes, des choses que j'utilisais quand je n'allais pas bien, il y a ma balance et un cutter et je vais mieux. Je ne vais pas bien, mais c'était vrai, ce que j'ai dit à Sasha l'autre jour. Je vais vraiment mieux. Je ne suis plus comme avant. L'ennui c'est que j'ai l'impression que lui va moins bien. Ma vie tournait autour de lui quand j'allais si mal et qu'il était l'une des seules pensées capables de me maintenir à la surface. Est-ce que sa vie tournait autour de moi ? Est-ce qu'il m'a donné toute son attention au point de ne plus en avoir pour lui, est-ce que c'est de ma faute s'il va mal ? Qu'il soit loin, qu'il soit près, que j'ai mal, peur, que je me sente triste ou heureux, il est toujours là. Il occupe sans cesse mes pensées comme aucun amour adolescent n'est sensé le faire. C'est qu'il est bien plus, C'est que notre lien est indestructible. Journal de Leo, lundi 31 octobre. C'est Halloween et j'ai tellement bien travaillé hier et aujourd'hui que je peux prendre ma soirée sans me sentir coupable. Je ne fais rien, là. J'écoute Flares, de The Script et je me dis que c'est la plus belle musique de l'univers, à cet instant. Il est déjà vingt-et-une heure, la soirée d'Halloween organisée par Elios a déjà commencé, mais je n'ai pas envie de bouger. Je suis allongé sur le canapé de la bibliothèque, mon père est à son bureau tout près, j'écoute le bruit de ses doigts sur les touches et je ne veux rien de plus. J'ai l'impression d'être quelque part d'impossible, dans le passé s'il avait été plus beau, si j'avais été plus heureux et que je l'avais vu avec d'autres yeux. Je suis heureux et la musique dans mes oreilles me donne envie de pleurer sans que je ne comprenne pourquoi. Je la remets en boucle jusqu'à que ça ne fasse plus ça. J'ai fait ça jusqu'à que mon père se tourne vers moi. - Tu veux que je t'emmène ? J'ai accepté parce que ça m'arrangeait et parce que j'adore être dans la voiture avec lui. Il vient de me déposer et je suis allé aussitôt m'enfermer dans la chambre de Diane, la petite sœur d'Elios, parce que je voulais écrire un moment tranquille, avant de revoir mes potes de l'an dernier, avant de boire et tout ça. Je me demande ce que fait Sasha. Ils doivent fêter Halloween, eux aussi. J'espère qu'il ne se drogue pas, qu'il ne couche pas avec n'importe qui. Je ne veux plus qu'il se fasse le genre de mal qu'il se faisait quand on s'est rencontrés. Ce n'est pas qu'il me trompe, le problème, c'est qu'il ait besoin de tout faire trembler autour de lui. Ça tombe sur sa messagerie quand je l'appelle. Je vais aller à la fête. Avec Flares dans les oreilles. J'espère qu'à des centaines de kilomètres de moi, il sentira les étincelles que je lui envoie. Il sentira l'amour immense qui nous lie. Il sentira... Je vais aller boire au lieu d'écrire des niaiseries. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Je suis couché dans l'infirmerie. Par la fenêtre, je vois le minuscule feu d'artifice qu'ils ont lancé dans la cour. Il n'est pas encore minuit, mais j'ai beaucoup trop bu. Je passe une super semaine, vraiment. Et saine, en plus. Toutes les personnes du stage sont assez axés écologie, trucs alternatifs, nourriture végétarienne et tout ça et j'ai rarement aussi bien mangé, autant fait de sport. Comme si des années d'alcoolisme latent, d'abus de drogues en tout genre et de sexe comme unique sport dégoulinant petit à petit de mon corps pour être remplacés par du sang neuf, sain, par un nouveau moi. Je me sens différent. Il y a quelque chose à l'intérieur de ma tête qui n'était pas là avant. Quelque chose auquel on n'avait pas laissé sa chance de fleurir... Quelque chose qui pousse dans mon ventre, qui est vivant dans mes côtes et... Ou alors c'est l'alcool qui me fait délirer. On toque. J'ai vomi. J'ai vomi après qu'il m'ai embrassé. Il est entré dans l'infirmerie, il m'a parlé et je ne savais pas quoi répondre, j'étais un peu gêné même si je l'aime bien. Et puis il m'a embrassé. Je n'ai pas dit non, je ne l'ai pas repoussé. Je crois que jamais de ma vie je n'ai repoussé quelqu'un émettant un quelconque désir pour moi. Mais c'était bizarre. Et quand il a eu fini, j'ai souri bêtement, puis je me suis penché et j'ai vomi. Ensuite, je suis parti et on est mardi, maintenant. Dans trois jours, je serais avec Leo et je me sens sale, ça y est je me sens sale et en sueur mais là je n'avais pas envie du tout. Je suis monté sur la colline pour avoir plus d'air, pour avoir moins chaud et le ciel est rempli d'étoiles des milliers de fois plus belles que celles qu'ils faisaient surgir en bas. Le ciel est saupoudré de lumière comme de minuscules éclats de sucre sur la croute d'un gâteau. C'est la plus belle chose que j'ai jamais vue. J'essaye de prendre une photo avec mon téléphone mais ça rend mal, j'ai l'alcool triste alors j'envoie à mon petit ami : Sms : Il y a tes yeux par milliers dans le ciel qui m'observent et me protègent. Il répond si vite que j'ai l'impression qu'il est près de moi et mon cœur tremble. Sms : Est-ce que parfois je t'éblouis, je t'aveugle et t'empêche de voir ? Je ne voulais pas embrasser quelqu'un d'autre, ce n'est pas de ma faute. Je n'ai même pas voulu me faire du mal, c'est arrivé sans que je ne fasse rien pour. Mais je crois que c'est mieux si je n'en parle jamais. Et bien sûr que tu m'éblouie, mais tu ne m'empêche jamais de voir, tu ne m'aveugles pas. Sms : Tu me guides. Sms : Tu rentres à pieds en suivant les étoiles ? Imbécile. Mais je n'ai pas le temps d'être agacé par l'impression que j'ai qu'il se moque de moi qu'il renchérit : Sms : Si oui, tu me trouveras à mi-chemin. Je fonds. J'aimerais entendre sa voix, mais j'aime la discussion comme elle est. Légère et profonde. Elle a le même effet sur moi que tout ce vent qui m'enrobe et semble me purifier. Elle vide ma tête, elle me désencombre. Elle me fait trembler un peu, si ce n'est pas le froid. Je suis rentré. Je ne sais pas où Il est mais je pense que demain Il aura oublié m'avoir embrassé. Enfin, j'espère, je crois. C'est quand même franchement gênant. Je continue d'échanger des messages avec Leo, on n'a pas envie de se dire bonne nuit mais je vais laisser mon journal et éteindre la lumière. Qu'on ait notre petit moment rien qu'à nous. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Journal de Leo, samedi 12 novembre 2014 Les vacances sont finies. J'ai à nouveau un boulot monstrueux, et un DST de quatre heures dans une demi-heure. Mais je commence à apprécier. J'aime ce que j'étudie et même si j'ai un peu l'impression de mettre mes problèmes à distance plutôt que de les résoudre, au moins je vais bien. Sasha a acheté plein de trucs de cuisine, une centrifugeuse, un robot mixeur et il fait beaucoup la cuisine, ces derniers jours. Très sain. J'ai toujours du mal avec la nourriture et ça m'aide pas mal. Et puis ça me touche. Lui a l'air bien. On a passé quelques jours à Lyon tous les deux et c'était comme quand on était ensemble, avant. Quand on était ensemble ici, au début, ça avait cette atmosphère particulière que j'avais oubliée, quand rien n'était joué. Et c'est pas mal, parce que parfois je me dis que l'on prend trop l'autre pour acquis. J'ai l'impression que Sasha ne pourra jamais cesser de m'aimer, ne pourra jamais me laisser, qu'il va m'aimer toujours mais en réalité si je ne fais pas très attention à lui, ça n'arrivera pas. Alors je vais faire attention à lui. Plus que je ne le fais déjà. Je file, sinon je vais être en retard. Je préparerais le brunch en rentrant. Journal de Sasha, mardi 22 novembre 2014 J'ai tellement changé que j'ai l'impression que Lucas ne me reconnaitrait pas. Je me suis franchement lié avec le groupe de défense, avec les amis de Jules, je fais parti de leur bande, maintenant. Je suis en marge parce que je n'adhère pas à tout, parce que je ne me suis pas mis à m'habiller moche mais pratique et... Bon, je devrais peut être arrêter de dire ce genre de choses, j'imagine que c'est con. Non mais whoa, je m'empêche même de critiquer ? Bref. J'ai complètement arrêté de manger de la viande – bon, sauf des sushis de temps en temps... – et je fais attention à plein de petites choses qui ne m'intéressaient par avant. J'ai l'impression d'être devenu une personne plus saine. Je ne fais plus la fête. Bon, ils fument pour la plupart des joints, mais je crois que c'est le maximum. Je mange, je ne bois quasiment pas, j'ai subtilement changé ma façon de m'habiller et surtout je suis beaucoup plus calme. Comme si mine de rien, se battre déchargeait toute la colère que j'avais en moi et à laquelle j'avais toujours refusé de faire vraiment attention. En complément, je cours avec Leo de temps en temps. Ça lui manquait, ça lui fait du bien et ça nous fait un moment à nous supplémentaire. Notre couple est quand même en sursis, on ne va pas se mentir. On vit dans le même appartement mais on ne se retrouve que les week-ends, et puis la nuit. Ce que je préfère, c'est être près de lui quand il écrit dans son journal, au lit. Quand il a fini, quand il le repose je sais qu'il ne va plus se concentrer que sur moi pendant un petit moment avant de s'endormir et finalement j'aime ça. Même s'il me manque parfois, avant il me donnait rarement toute son attention comme il le fait maintenant. Il a l'air d'aller bien. Et moi, je vais mieux. Je crois que j'étais un peu déprimé à un moment, mais là je vais super, super bien. Je suis une nouvelle personne dans une nouvelle vie et tout est génial. Enfin c'est ce que je me répète. Journal de Leo, mardi 29 novembre D'accord, ça ne va pas si bien que ça. En fait, je me sens seul. Avant Sasha était toujours en train d'attendre après moi et même si j'étais triste parce que je voyais bien qu'il n'était pas très heureux, au moins... Au moins je me sentais désiré. Maintenant, c'est comme s'il n'avait plus besoin de moi. Il est toujours fourré avec ses amis, il ne me délaisse pas vraiment mais... Il n'est plus aussi disponible. Il n'est plus du tout triste de ne pas passer suffisamment de temps avec moi et de façon monstrueusement égoïste, ça me fait de la peine. Je crois que je suis jaloux. Envieux. Je ne suis pas franchement heureux de bosser comme ça, et maintenant que lui à côté de moi rayonne autant, je l'envie. Et qu'il soit heureux sans que j'y sois pour quoi que ce soit, aussi. Ce n'est pas juste. Enfin si, c'est juste. C'est juste que je ne le supporte pas très bien. Putain mais je n'ai pas besoin d'être le premier de la classe. Fais chier. Plus tard. Sasha écrit dans son journal juste à côté de moi. Il est très tard, parce qu'on est sorti. Je lui ai envoyé un message pour lui dire que je voulais lui parler et quand je suis rentré de cours il était là. Il avait l'air un peu mal, quand même. Inquiet. - Il se passe quoi ? - Tu ne veux pas qu'on aille au cinéma ? - En semaine ? Il avait l'air étonné, j'ai aussi les épaules mais il a insisté. - Tu n'as pas de boulot ? - Je le ferais plus tard. Quoi ? Tu as déjà quelque chose de prévu avec tes amis ? - Non... Enfin, si mais j'en fous, j'annule. T'es sûr que tu veux sortir ? Ça m'a fait du bien qu'il annule pour passer du temps avec moi sans se poser la moindre question. Et qu'il insiste parce qu'il veut prendre soin de moi. Et qu'il soit ravi quand j'ai dit que oui, j'étais sûr. Toute son attitude, elle était exactement celle que je voulais. C'était parfait. - Tu veux voir quoi ? - N'importe quoi d'un peu nul. Qu'on se cache au fond pour s'embrasser. Ça l'a fait rougir un tout petit peu. On est allé voir « La prochaine fois je viserais le cœur », qui ne correspond vraiment pas à un film « un peu nul ». Mais c'était la seule chose qui nous plaisait avec Hunger Games, et hors de question de se tripoter entourés par plein d'ados et d'enfants. On a mangé du pop-corn, on s'est un peu battus, on a légèrement dérangés nos voisins, on s'est tripoté et on a commenté le film en direct, tout bas, blottis l'un contre l'autre au fond de la salle. On était bien, tellement biens. Clairement, pour mon équilibre personnel, j'ai besoin de ça. Je ne peux pas étudier et étudier jusqu'à que mon cerveau grille. J'ai besoin de vivre. De me sentir libre, de pouvoir me détendre. J'ai besoin d'agir selon mes instincts. Mes instincts me disent d'envoyer promener ce qui me pèse. Journal de Sasha, mardi 29 novembre ON EST ALLES AU CINEMA EN MILIEU DE SEMAINE JE L'AIME Je suis trop bien, là. Et je sais que Leo le sait parce qu'il n'arrête pas de me jeter des petits coups d'œil, mais je crois qu'il ne peut pas se rendre compte d'à quel point je suis heureux. C'est comme s'il m'avait offert une bague, décroché la lune, un truc énorme pour lequel je ne trouve pas de métaphore suffisante. C'est comme s'il m'avait dit qu'il m'aimait, avec toute son âme et jusqu'à la fin des temps. Alors je suis heureux. Même si ça ne doit jamais se reproduire, ce n'est pas grave. Ça m'a fait tellement de bien. Ça m'a redonné confiance. Leo a reposé son journal. On est sur le lit, il me caresse le cou avec ses doigts. Tu lis ce que j'écris ? Je ne me fâcherais pas, mais dis-moi si tu lis. Bon. Il ne lit pas. Mais il m'embrasse dans le cou et je crois que j'écrirais mon journal demain parce que j'ai envie de De lui. Journal de Sasha, mercredi 26 novembre Je suis arrivé en retard en cours. Dans l'absolu ce n'est pas comme si ça c'était inhabituel. Mais d'habitude c'est parce que j'ai trainé au lit, trainé sous la douche, trainé en marchant. Pas parce que Leo m'a tripoté au lit, fait jouir sous la douche et embrassé un peu en marchant. Il avait un drôle d'air quand on s'est séparés pour aller chacun à nos cours. Il avait l'air... Je ne sais pas, déterminé. Puissant ? En tout cas, c'était sexy. J'en ai encore le ventre qui fait des nœuds. Mes potes m'ont demandé pourquoi je n'étais pas venu hier et surtout, pourquoi je les avais lâchés sans prévenir mais ils ne l'ont pas pris mal, ils étaient contents pour moi. Je crois qu'ils aiment tous bien Leo, même si à part Jules et Mélina, personne ne l'a rencontré. J'adore parler de lui, de nous. Même quand ça n'allait pas forcément bien, je n'en disais que du bien. A moi-même et à quelques autres personnes, Leo, Lucas, mon père, je sais dire les choses qui ne vont pas. Mais pour tous les autres, je garde en permanence l'air heureux et sûr de moi. Enfin, non. J'ai plutôt toujours l'air mélancolique et mystérieux, mais c'est la même chose. C'est une façade.Parfois je voudrais qu'elle tombe définitivement. Je ne sais pas ce qu'il y a derrière mais... Je n'ai pas peur. Ce qu'il y a derrière, Leo va l'aimer, le monde va l'adorer.Sur la table je griffonne une phrase que Leo aime bien : « I will no longer mutilate and destroy myself in order to find a secret behind the ruins. – Hermann Hesse » (Je ne me mutilerais et détruirais plus dans le but de trouver un secret caché derrières mes ruines) Journal de Leo, mercredi 26 novembre Je suis arrivé en retard en cours. Ça ne m'arrive jamais. Pas une fois depuis, je ne sais pas, le collège. Et encore. Je n'arrive jamais en retard. Mais ce matin je n'en avais rien à foutre de rien, je voulais rester avec Sasha et tout son corps me rendait nerveux et heureux en même temps. J'ai tout le temps envie de le toucher depuis quelques jours, pas forcément d'une façon sexuelle, j'ai envie de le prendre dans mes bras, de caresser son dos, de jouer avec ses cheveux et surtout, de poser ma tête sur son cœur et d'écouter sa fréquence cardiaque en respirant son odeur. Ce matin, j'ai pris le temps de faire certaines de ces choses. Du coup, je me suis pointé en retard. Mon prof ne m'a pas accepté en cours parce qu'on doit arriver à l'heure et je suis à la bibliothèque à attendre de pouvoir aller au cours suivant et je m'en fiche. Ça fait des années que je fais tout comme il faut. J'ai d'excellents bulletins depuis toujours même si j'ai toujours été dans des établissements qui prenaient en compte mes bizarreries, mes complications et qui étaient beaucoup plus ouverts que les autres. Je ne sais pas si je m'en serais tiré aussi bien dans des collèges et lycées normaux. Mais n'empêche. Je m'en suis tiré avec les honneurs, j'ai été accepté dans l'une des deux meilleures prépas de France. Je n'ai pas fait de rébellion D'accord, j'ai fugué de chez mes parents pour rejoindre mon petit ami en Suisse et de façon générale j'ai été tellement déprimé que j'ai fait plusieurs autres trucs qui ne passaient pas forcément. Mais enfin, quand même. Dans l'ensemble, j'ai été un bon garçon bien élevé tout le temps et... Parfois j'ai l'impression de n'avoir rien vécu. Enfermé dans ma coquille, j'ai grandi entre les pages de mes livres, roulé en boule sur moi-même en essayant de ne rien laisser dépasser. Ça va aller, va. Ça va. Je me suis répété ça combien de fois ? Ca va aller, ça va, tout explose autour de moi mais je vais m'agripper à la corde au chiffre de la balance aux gens qui m'aime et je vais m'en sortir parce que je ne veux pas leur faire de mal. J'espère vraiment qu'un jour le monde se rendra compte à quel point il faut aimer les autres plus que soi pour s'empêcher de mourir pour la seule raison que l'on ne veut pas leur faire de mal. J'arrive une fois en retard en cours et je me mets à penser à nouveau au suicide. Magnifique. Ça aussi, ça me fait peur. Est-ce que ça veut dire que j'ai seulement l'esprit occupé par mes cours mais que sinon, je suis encore débordant de noirceur ? Je vais aller me chercher un coca et m'avancer dans les devoirs que j'aurais dû faire hier soir au lieu d'aller tripoter mon copain dans une salle obscure. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Leo est venu me réveiller tôt ce matin. Je n'avais pas remarqué qu'il était parti du lit. Il s'est collé contre moi, il a glissé son bras autour de ma taille et il a murmuré mon prénom jusqu'à que je me réveille. Il n'était même pas neuf heures et ça va être l'enfer quand on sera mariés parce que je suis un lève tard et lui un lève tôt.Qu'est-ce que je raconte ? On vit déjà ensemble. Ça ne pose pas de problèmes. Bon. Il m'a dit qu'il voulait me parler. Alors je l'ai écouté. Et... Je ne sais pas quoi en penser. Il m'a dit quelque chose comme : - Sasha, je suis désolé pour hier soir. J'avais l'esprit embrumé par le sommeil et tout à la fois je n'avais aucune idée de quoi il parlait et je savais très bien ce qu'il voulait dire. Il voulait dire autre chose, mais je le voyais chercher ses mots sans les trouver alors j'ai demandé pour être sur : - Est-ce que tu pensais à ton frère, pendant qu'on faisait l'amour ? Il tremblait un peu, ses épaules nues, mais il me regardait. Il a hoché la tête. D'accord. C'est ce que je pensais. - Est-ce que ça t'arrive souvent ? - C'était la première fois. - Est-ce que tu l'imaginais en train de... A ma place ? - ... Plus ou moins. - Tout du long ? Il était tellement pâle et j'avais l'impression de le faire souffrir, mais j'avais besoin de souffrir. Pardon. J'avais besoin de savoir, c'est ce que je voulais dire, mais un lapsus révélateur aussi beau... Bref. J'ai passé mon bras autour de lui à ce moment-là, pour qu'il ait moins peur. - C'était... Mélangé. C'était étrange. Mais... Je ne voulais pas. C'est venu tout seul et, je ne sais pas. Je, j'ai laissé aller. Mais... Mais quoi ? Mais ne pense pas que je suis bizarre et malsain ? Mais ne m'en veux pas ? Mais quoi. Il n'y avait rien à ajouter alors sa phrase est venue mourir là et je l'ai enlacé. Sa tête sur mon cœur, il a demandé si j'étais fâché, et avant que j'aie pu répondre que non, il m'a demandé pardon. Alors je l'ai serré plus fort et je lui ai dit que je l'aimais et que tout allait bien. Et pendant un long moment on est restés l'un contre l'autre, je lui caressais les cheveux et je pensais à rien, seulement à tout ce que je l'aime et à ses cheveux qui sentait bon le shampoing. Mais après, quand on est allés prendre le petit déjeuner, j'ai commencé à réfléchir, et comme il y avait ses parents autour de la table, j'ai parlé de Thibault. Même si ça mettait Leo mal à l'aise et que je le sentais, pas ses parents. Ils avaient l'air content de parler de leur fils, et ils en parlaient résolument au passé, et de façon normale. Il n'y a que Leo qui est complètement bloqué. Je ne sais pas si je devrais faire quelque chose pour l'aider. J'ai juste pas envie de revivre ça. Parce que quand j'y pense, je me dis que ce n'est pas si grave, que c'est juste étrange. Mais quand on était en pleine action, ce n'était pas pareil. A ce moment-là, je me sentais mal. Son air exalté... Profondément malsain. Et pourtant ça ne remet rien en cause quand à ma façon de l'aimer. Je pense qu'on a tous des parts malsaines en nous, et si je dis ça c'est aussi parce que je connais bien les miennes, je les côtois tous les jours et je pense mériter de l'amour quand même. Alors, j'accepte ce que Leo peut avoir de tordu. Je l'accepte depuis le tout début, je crois bien. Non ? Et lui aussi, il m'accepte. Alors... Ce n'est pas grave, si hier soir il m'a mis mal à l'aise. Je suis sûr que je lui ai fait subir la même chose plein de fois, il y a quelques mois. L'année dernière. Plein de fois. Il vient de s'allonger près de moi, je lui caresse les cheveux. Il est beau. Il ressemble à un gamin, c'est dans ses yeux, il y a une lumière enfantine qui n'est pas partie. Il est resté un moment, j'ai arrêté d'écrire pour lui parler, maintenant il est allongé dans l'autre sens et il écrit aussi. Il m'a demandé : - T'es encore fâché ? - Je l'étais pas. Et je ne t'en veux pas. Je suis content d'être là. Je ne lui dirais pas qu'il aurait pu me parler de Thibault avant, ça fait quand même un an et demi depuis notre premier baiser, il craint, mais je comprends donc j'ai rien dit. Ensuite il m'a dit qu'on allait bientôt déjeuner et que si ça m'allait, on retournerait chez les amis de ses parents pour l'aprèm. Ça me va. Plus tard. Leo est en train de discuter avec son père, je l'attends allongé sous la couette. On a passé une super aprèm mais je suis extenué et j'espère qu'il n'a pas envie de faire l'amour parce qu'à part faire l'étoile de mer, je ne me sens pas vraiment... On est allé faire de la luge avec les enfants des amis de ses parents, qui ont notre âge, et c'était super bien mais épuisant. Ensuite on a mangé de la tartiflette et sérieusement, je vais m'endormir dans deux minutes, qu'il revienne ou pas. Il n'aura qu'à me réveiller avec des bisous. Je me sens niaiseux. Je suis heureux, Leo est heureux, il s'amuse, il est détendu et il mange. Il va bien. Je vais bien. Demain c'est Noël, on va passer Noël ensemble et je me met à divaguer, je me met à imaginer comment ça serait si l'année prochaine, on invitait ses parents et mon père dans notre propre appartement, je me demande comment ça se serrait si dans un an et demi, à la fin de sa prépa, je lui demandais de m'épouser. J'essaye de nous imaginer en costume, main dans la main à regarder un feu d'artifice, et les gens autour avec des coupes de champagne, et deux anneaux en platine, j'essaye d'imaginer des chats, et même des gamins, j'essaye d'imaginer Leo a 25 ans, 35 ans, 55 ans. C'est impossible, non ? Les amours de jeunesse qui durent toute la vie... J'imagine Leo a 35 ans en train de signer les papiers du divorce, j'imagine son alliance dans une boite au fond d'un tiroir et la mienne revendue au meilleur prix, fondue (ça se fond, le platine ? Ou la platine ?), j'imagine Leo a 40ans assis à côté de moi sur des bancs à regarder notre fille en train de défendre un match de basket, ou de présenter une pièce de théâtre. J'imagine son regard en coin, puis le croiser dans le couloir vers les toilettes, se laver les mains et se fixer dans le miroir, puis se sauter dessus et faire l'amour derrière la porte, très vite et sans bruit. J'imagine les rendez-vous secrets, jusqu'à qu'il largue sa petite amie, j'imagine dire à notre fille, papa et papa, tu vas trouver ça stupide, mais... Ouais. C'est possible, les amours de jeunesse. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Journal de Leo, vendredi 23 décembre Mon père m'a demandé pourquoi je n'avais jamais parlé de Thibault à Sasha et je suis resté con un moment. Je me suis rendu compte que, et bien, je n'avais pas fait attention au fait qu'il ne le savait pas. C'est difficile à comprendre, mais je ne parle jamais de Thibault à personne et en même temps, je raconte tout à Sasha et l'un dans l'autre, j'avais fini par me dire qu'il le savait. Voilà. Ensuite avec mon père, on a parlé de sa chambre, à Thibault, et il m'a demandé si je pensais être d'accord avec l'idée qu'ils enlèvent ses affaires. A Thibault. Qu'ils les rangent et tout ça. Et j'ai dit oui. Je n'arrive pas à dormir, j'écris ça au milieu de la nuit. Je ne sais pas si c'est l'excitation de Noël, ou juste parce que Sasha a dû faire un cauchemar mais qu'en tout cas il a bougé super brusquement, m'a filé un grand coup de latte et du coup je suis réveillé. Enfin bref. Il a été super mignon tout à l'heure, quand je l'ai rejoint dans le lit. Il était épuisé et je n'ai pas bien compris ce qu'il disait mais c'était un truc du genre : « Tu veux qu'on se marie, qu'on ait un chat puis une fille, qu'on divorce, qu'on se recroise dans les toilettes et qu'on se remarie ? » et c'était décousu mais j'ai dit oui quand même. Même si je n'imagine pas vraiment me marier. Mais pourquoi pas. Dans un futur assez éloigné pour n'avoir rien à voir avec moi, pourquoi pas. Je vais essayer de dormir. On aura plein de choses à faire demain. Journal de Sasha, samedi 24 décembre Je n'arrête pas de pleurer et c'est juste pas possible parce que je mouille ce que j'écris et je déteste ça, après les pages de mon journal gondolent et c'est hyper nase. En plus ça a l'air de mettre le conducteur du taxi mal à l'aise, même si je lui ai dit que ça allait, qu'il pouvait monter la musique pour pas m'entendre et que j'avais des mouchoirs. Je chiale comme c'est pas permis, mon dieu. J'ai l'impression de me vider complètement, et que mon cœur s'arrache. Et faudrait que je sois sérieux, que je regarde les trains, que j'appelle mon père, plein de trucs comme ça mais j'peux pas faut que je vide mon cœur d'abord que j'écrive pour pouvoir respirer parce que là je ne respire pas bien du tout je fais que chialer et quelque part j'attends que mon téléphone sonne, je ne devrais pas mais j'attends que ça. Qu'il sonne et que Leo me dise reviens, attends, je suis désolé. Mais mon téléphone ne sonne pas, mes larmes ne s'arrêtent pas, mon cœur bat trop vite. Tout est foiré, foutu, détruit, et CE CON NE M'A MÊME PAS DÉFENDU. Respire. J'ai commencé à me calmer le temps de consulter les horaires de train sur mon smartphone, et d'écrire un sms pour prévenir mon père que je venais un jour plus tôt. Et sans Leo. Mais je ne l'ai pas envoyé pour l'instant, parce que j'ai besoin de réfléchir encore. On est presque arrivé à la gare de toute façon. Je suis dans le train pour Lyon. Et c'est horrible parce que la panique et la tristesse sont en train de se transformer en colère et tout m'aveugle, absolument tout. Ça devait être une journée géniale. Leo adore Noël. J'adore Noël. Sauf qu'au petit déjeuner, entre les crêpes à la cannelle, la mère de Leo a ouvert le courrier. Et qu'il y avait son relevé de notes du premier semestre. Il a arrêté de bosser, en novembre décembre. Il s'est occupé de moi, il a passé du temps avec moi, et avec ses parents même, vu qu'ils habitent à Paris la moitié du temps, il est allé les voir de temps en temps et il a beaucoup, beaucoup moins révisé. Et moi je trouvais ça bien. Leo ne va pas bien, il va mieux mais pas bien. Et voir des gens, ça l'aide. Voir ses parents, prendre du temps pour lui, sortir... Ça lui fait du bien. Le problème c'est que c'est son bulletin... Est vraiment très mauvais. Je ne pensais pas que c'était à ce point, parce qu'il n'aime pas parler de ses cours il dit toujours qu'il veut surtout parler d'autre chose alors je ne savais pas, j'en savais rien. Et je me suis senti mal. Coupable, même. Et puis sa mère s'est mise super en colère parce que Leo essayait de dire que ça n'était pas si grave, et j'ai voulu le défendre, et c'est parti en live complètement. Ça s'est retourné contre moi. Contre nous deux, mais surtout contre moi. Je n'arrive pas à croire que tu ne m'as pas défendu, putain. Que tu n'as pas ouvert la bouche. A aucun moment. - Je savais que c'était une mauvaise idée de vous laisser tous les deux en faisant semblant de croire que vous étiez des adultes responsables. C'est ça qu'elle m'a dit, quand j'ai essayé de prendre sa défense. Quand j'ai voulu lui expliquer que certes, Leo avait de mauvaises notes, mais est ce qu'elle se rendait compte qu'il mangeait ? Qu'il ne se faisait pas de mal ? Qu'il n'était pas forcément heureux, pas tout le temps, mais qu'il allait mieux, largement mieux ? Est-ce que ça n'avait pas d'importance pour elle, ça ? Et je voulais lui dire, mais sans ironie, juste gentiment mais je n'ai jamais pu. Parce qu'elle m'a balancé ça. Et que j'ai répliqué. Beaucoup plus ironiquement que prévu. - Quand vous le laissiez tout seul la moitié de la semaine pendant des années, c'était responsable, comme attitude ? Vu ou ça l'a mené... Je crois que c'était déjà trop tard, à ce moment-là. Leo qui avait vaguement relevé la tête l'a aussitôt baissée et a verrouillé le regard sur ses mains. Son père a eu un ton de reproche, peiné, quand il a dit « Sasha... » comme si je l'avais déçu. Putain. J'espère que t'étais déçu de toi-même, oui. Ils ne se rendaient pas compte de ce qu'ils faisaient ? Et mon père à moi, il se rend compte lui ? Que j'avais quatorze ans, que j'étais seul chez moi, qu'il fallait combler le vide laissé par son absence ? Ils étaient ou tous nos parents, tous ces adultes irresponsables et nous qui essayions juste de survivre ? On est désolés de ne pas vous ramenez les bonnes notes que vous voulez, on est trop occupés à essayer de survivre pour réviser. Survivre à l'abandon, survivre à l'amour, comment tu veux avoir une alimentation équilibrée quand t'as le cœur qui meurt de faim ? Je ne sais plus ce qu'on a dit après. Ce qu'elle a dit. Que la façon dont elle s'occupait de Leo ne me regardait pas. Que c'était de ma faute, surtout, que je n'avais apporté que des ennuis à son fils et Leo ne disait absolument rien, son père me défendait à mi-voix puis récriminait sur le même ton parce que je ne me laissais pas faire, et Leo était prostré. Et puis sa mère a dit que l'appartement, c'était fini, que Leo irait en pension ou dans leur appartement à eux, mais que ça ne se passerait pas comme ça. Alors je suis parti. Dans l'escalier j'avais déjà appelé un taxi. J'ai fait mon sac et je suis parti, quand j'ai retraversé la cuisine il n'y avait plus que Leo qui n'avait pas bougé, comme s'il était complètement choqué et... Et quoi ? Pourquoi il ne réagissait pas, hein ? Merde. Je ne vais pas aller en Suisse. Je rentre à Paris, j'irais chez mon père plus tard. Je lui dirais que Leo n'a pas pu venir, rien d'autre. Merde. Fait chier. Je les déteste. On arrive à Lyon, le train pour Paris est dans quarante minutes. Je vais aller me poser au Starbucks. Quand je me suis retrouvé devant Leo dans la salle à manger, tout à l'heure... Je ne sais pas si j'espérais qu'il viendrait avec moi, ou... Je ne sais pas. J'étais paumé, je crois, j'étais super en colère. J'avais mal au ventre et je ne savais pas quoi faire alors j'ai juste dit : - Je pars. Ça lui a fait relever la tête. Mais rien de plus. Il m'a fixé sans aucune expression. J'aurais dû lui demandé de venir, mais je l'ai pas fait, j'aurais eu trop mal qu'il dise non, qu'il ne dise rien. J'ai quand même demandé : - Pourquoi t'as rien dit ? Il a baissé la tête à nouveau. Je suis parti. J'ai fait claquer la porte aussi fort que j'ai pu en me disant que je ne serais plus jamais le bienvenu ici. Et maintenant je me dis sans aucune émotion parce que la colère les a toutes prises, que peut être que je ne reverrais jamais Leo, qu'il déménagera quand je serais en cours, et que tout va s'arrêter comme ça, sur une dispute un 24 décembre, joyeux Noël et on remballe. L'amour de ma vie, hein. Merde. Fais chier. Je suis dans le train pour Paris. J'ai essayé de dormir mais j'ai trop mal au cœur. Il faut que je trouve un plan. Ça fait quatre heures que je suis parti de chez Leo et il ne m'a pas envoyé le moindre message. Est-ce qu'il est encore prostré à la table de sa cuisine ? Est-ce que ses parents l'ont envoyés réviser ? Est-ce que je lui manque ? J'attends dans le café. Je n'avais pas le courage de rentrer chez nous. Pas comme ça, pas aussi simplement. Il faut que je fasse quelque chose, avant. Le plan. Pour que la vie ait un sens. Parce que si on ne fait rien, un jour on se réveille, on comprend et on court se jeter dans la Seine pour que ça s'arrête. Journal de Leo, dimanche 25 décembre 2014. Joyeux Noël. Une ligne est écrite en dessous, mais l'encre est complètement diluée et la page entière, mouillée de larmes. Le journal ne reprend qu'à la page suivante. Journal de Leo, lundi 26 décembre. C'est l'heure de la récréation. Dix minutes, entre mes deux heures d'histoire et mes deux heures de grec. J'aurais dû être chez Sasha. Mais non. Je suis là. A réviser. Puni. Mon ordinateur et mon téléphone sont confisqués depuis deux jours. Mes parents sont « très déçus ». De toute façon je ne veux pas adresser la parole à ma mère, donc je m'en fiche. Lui faire la gueule, c'est ce que j'ai trouvé de plus simple pour ne pas fondre en larmes à tout bout de champs. Je suis dégouté. A un point ou je n'arrive plus à penser, à réfléchir à ce qui se passe. Je travaille, je ferme ma gueule et j'enferme tout à l'intérieur. Je ne veux pas parler. Je mange, j'obéis et je ferme ma gueule. Voilà. Fin de la pause. Dix-huit heures. J'ai fini pour aujourd'hui. Je ne veux pas aller me mettre dans le salon avec mes parents, donc je reste dans ma chambre, même s'il fait froid et que j'ai rien à faire. Aucune envie de lire mes vieux bouquins d'enfants. Aucune force, aucune motivation. Je crois que je vais dormir, jusqu'à demain. Jusqu'à que ça s'arrête. Journal de Leo, mardi 27 décembre. Toujours le même enfer et moi sans la force de me rebeller. Ça commence à inquiéter mon père. Au petit déjeuner, il m'a cité Bernanos. « La médiocrité, c'est l'indifférence au bien et au mal ». Je lui ai dit que c'était Antéchrista d'Amélie Nothomb, qu'il citait, et il m'a foutu la paix. Qu'est-ce que ça peut me foutre d'être médiocre ? Qu'est-ce que quoi que ce soit peu me foutre ? Journal de Leo, mercredi 28 décembre. Rien. Journal de Leo, jeudi 29 décembre. Toujours rien. Journal de Leo, vendredi 30 décembre. J'ai à nouveau envie de mourir. Ça fait cinq jours que je ne pense rien, que je ne ressens rien. La seule sensation qui a fini par revenir, c'est celle-là. L'envie de mourir. Plus forte que l'envie que ça s'arrête, de ne plus être : L'envie du moment où l'on meurt, d'avoir mal, de tout ressentir avant le néant, de Je l'ai dit à mon père. Ça l'a fait pleurer et il est parti et maintenant je me sens terriblement seul et je regrette. J'aurais pas dû le dire, j'aurais pas dû faire pleurer mon papa. Il est revenu. Je vais voir. J'ai passé une partie de la matinée avec mon père, à ne rien faire que se câliner. Mais pour l'instant je ne veux pas parler à ma mère. Ils m'ont inscrit au pensionnat pour la semaine, même pas à côté de ma prépa. C'est que la semaine, le week-end je rentrerais à l'appartement de Paris, avec eux. C'est elle qui a fait tout ça. Je n'ai pas envie de lui parler. Là c'est l'après-midi, je suis sensé travailler mais j'écris. Demain pour le 31, à midi je récupérerais mon téléphone et mon ordi, et je serais libre jusqu'au lendemain midi. Génial. Je n'ai même pas le courage d'appeler Sasha. Ça fait une semaine qu'on a pas parlé. Mon père m'a dit qu'il lui avait envoyé un message pour le prévenir que j'étais privé d'ordi et de téléphone pour la semaine pour ne pas qu'il me haïsse à mort de ne pas répondre. Mais même. Qu'est-ce que je pourrais lui dire ? Il doit me détester quand même. Et rien que d'imaginer lui parler, j'ai mal au ventre. Il est si loin de moi qu'il pourrait ne jamais revenir et je continuerais à vivre, complètement vide. Journal de Leo, samedi 31 décembre. Mon père m'a rendu mon téléphone, je n'ai pas encore osé l'allumer. Ni mon ordi. J'ai la bouche pleine de salive comme si j'allais vomir. Je n'ose pas. J'peux pas, je n'ai pas envie de me confronter à la réalité. J'étais bien, sans. A dormir sans penser sans ressentir. J'allume mon ordinateur d'abord. J'ouvre mes mails, Sasha n'est pas connecté sur la messagerie. Je trie mes mails, il m'en a envoyé un. Le matin de Noël. Mon amour. J'ouvre. Il n'y a rien d'écrit, même pas de sujet, mais une vidéo en pièce jointe. Je l'ouvre. Je mets quelques instants à comprendre ce que je vois. C'est la chambre de Sasha, enfin la nôtre, celle où l'on dort. L'ordinateur de Sasha – ou tout du moins la caméra, mais au vu de la qualité de l'image je pense que c'est celle de son ordinateur, est posé au bout du lit. Sasha vient de l'allumer et s'en éloigne. Il est nu. Il est magnifique. La lumière très blanche de l'éclairage rend sa peau magnifique. Elle brille comme du satin. Il la caresse du bout de ses doigts. Il regarde dans ma direction, pile dans la caméra, il me fixe à travers le temps et j'ai la chair de poule. Puis je vois quelqu'un entrer sur le côté de l'écran, quelqu'un grimper sur le lit à côté de lui. Un homme, adulte. La lumière joue aussi sur sa peau, mais pas d'une façon aussi belle. Il est plus vieux, il a au moins l'âge de mon père. Il est nu aussi. Mais pas une fois il ne regarde la caméra et moi tout ce que je vois, c'est Sasha. C'est le corps de Sasha entre des mains que je ne connais pas. C'est sa peau sublimée par celle d'une autre. C'est la chair blanche de ses cuisses et les mains plus sombres, les doigts qui s'enfoncent, à travers l'œil froid de la caméra. C'est l'autre que je vois à peine, allongé sur le dos et Sasha sur lui, ce sont ses mains quand il repousse ses cheveux en arrière, c'est tout son corps qui se tends et sa peau qu'à distance je vois quand même rosir, c'est la sueur qui coule brûlante le long de ses flancs et glaciale contre mon dos. Quand il fixe la caméra en se caressant, abandonné, désintégré, dans un autre espace-temps mais qu'il me regarde, mon amour il me fixe et je vois la trace de mes mains partout en surbrillance sur sa peau, phosphorescente. J'entends les bruits de l'autre comme des parasites sur la bande son de ses soupirs, je vois ses mains sur les hanches de Sasha puis sur son sexe, je le vois caresser Sasha et je suis incapable de détacher mon regard de l'écran. Je me rends à peine compte qu'allongé sur le ventre je me caresse en me frottant contre le drap comme quand j'étais encore petit. Je tremble un peu j'ai le ventre qui se tord et Sasha laisse sa tête partir en arrière pendant que des mains d'hommes plus larges que les miennes, plus puissantes, l'amène plus loin et pourtant plus près de moi. Je regarde l'écran, il me fixe et je sais que c'est moi, exactement moi qu'il regarde et pas la caméra, pas un potentiel voyeur peu importe lequel mais moi et personne d'autre. Mes mains tremblent, la sueur qui coule dans mes dos et contre mes fesses, entre mes cuisses, le long de mes flancs dans la paume de mes mains, partout elle est brûlante avant que celle de Sasha n'aie commencée à refroidir. A distance, il jouit avec moi et je voudrais lécher la peau tachée de son ventre Ce n'est qu'une heure après, dans mon caleçon sale comme un gamin qui a fait un rêve un peu trop agréable, je revois quelque chose que mon cerveau m'a caché un moment, a vu en refusant de l'analyser. Je revois le regard de Sasha, le regard amoureux qu'il a eu pour l'homme, pour un homme qui n'est pas moi. Alors seulement, je réalise ce qu'il a fait. Et la trahison me ronge comme un acide. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Journal de Sasha, samedi 31 décembre Jules m'a invité à sa soirée de nouvel an. Mais je n'irais pas. Je ne bougerais pas d'ici, je n'ai pas la force. Ça fait trois jours que je n'ai pas bougé. Quand je suis redescendu de mon nuage, quand, je ne sais pas, quand ça a commencé à avoir un sens, je suis revenu ici et je n'ai plus bougé. Je viens de m'étirer, mon dos a craqué dans tous les sens. J'ai mal au ventre, je crois que j'ai vraiment faim et c'est pour ça que ma tête tourne. Mais il n'y a rien à manger à part des céréales et de la semoule et j'ai vraiment pas envie, ni de l'un ni de l'autre. Ça fait trois jours que je ne mange que ça. Je rêve d'une salade avec de la roquette, des champignons frais revenus au vinaigre, des noix et du roquefort. Je rêve d'un jus d'orange pressé. Mais j'ai pas du tout le courage de sortir. J'ai le courage de rien, j'ai le cœur mort. J'ai tout cassé autour de moi, je n'arrêterais jamais. Je n'ai pas pris de douche depuis, je pue. J'ai encore son odeur sur moi, c'est ma punition. C'est toute ma saleté intérieure qui ressort sur mon corps. C'est toujours la même histoire, le sexe pour salir l'amour. Pour que tout soit laid, il suffit de baiser avec le premier venu et d'envoyer la vidéo à son mec. Prends ça dans les dents, t'avais qu'à pas me faire de mal. Quand on me frappe, j'attrape et je multiplie, je m'enfonce dans le ventre. Tu ne peux pas m'en vouloir, ça me fait plus de mal qu'à toi. Tu parles. Je suis dans le bain. Je me suis mis à pleurer après avoir écrit ça alors j'ai enfin pris une douche, je me suis lavé comme un dingue et l'eau était vraiment sale. Ensuite j'ai lavé la baignoire et maintenant je suis dans mon bain. J'ai toujours autant faim par contre, donc après j'essayerais de sortir. C'est le nouvel an, quand même. Il est déjà dix-neuf heures. Je ne dis pas que j'irais à une fête, mais, je ne sais pas. Acheter du champagne et me bourrer la gueule ? Quelque chose comme ça, finir par appeler Leo quand je serais suffisamment bourré et pleurer au téléphone ? Il ne reviendra jamais. Je n'aurais jamais dû envoyer cette vidéo. J'étais encore fou de rage, je voulais lui faire mal. Je l'ai regretté presque tout de suite et le lendemain matin, son père m'a envoyé un sms pour me dire que Leo était privé d'ordinateur et de téléphone jusqu'à nouvel ordre, ce qui déjà explique, plus ou moins, pourquoi il ne m'a pas envoyé le moindre message, mais du coup je me suis senti mille fois plus coupable. Et j'avais trop peur, je savais pas à quel moment il recevrait le mail et là je sais toujours pas, si c'est le cas ou pas, je sais juste qu'il ne me parlera plus, qu'il ne m'aimerait plus, qu'il déménagera et qu'on aura pas de fin heureuse, on n'aura pas de mariage et d'enfants, on aura plus rien et je passerais ma vie à me faire baiser par mes profs de facs à tendance éphébophile, je passerais mon temps à me faire trainer dans leurs appartements quand leurs femmes sont pas là, à me faire payer des trucs dont j'ai pas besoin, à me faire baiser dans leurs bureaux et à foutre leurs vies en l'air, tant que j'aurais l'air assez innocent, je ferais rien d'autre, plus je vieillirais plus eux aussi. Il y aura peut-être cinq ans de ma vie ou je sortirais avec des mecs de mon âge, ou on se prendra la tête, on adoptera un chat, on construira rien que je ne détruirais pas. Puis je commencerais à sortir avec des mecs plus jeunes, à leur payer des trucs pour qu'ils restent avec moi, à les baiser dans mon bureau et ma maison de vacances, à dépérir, je finirais par mourir comme si ça ne m'était pas arrivé quand j'avais dix-huit ans, mourir. Il n'y a rien d'autre qui m'attends. Il n'y a rien d'autre comme moi. Il n'y a que l'amour qui sauve, mais pas éternellement. Journal de Sasha, dimanche 1 janvier 2017 Leo est arrivé pendant que j'étais dans mon bain. Je ne l'avais pas entendu entrer et quand il ouvert la porte, j'ai sursauté et j'ai mis de l'eau sur mon journal. Du coup, tout ce que l'on aurait pu se dire, se regarder en silence ou crier, tout ça a disparu parce qu'il m'a pris mon journal des mains et qu'il l'a séché dans une serviette et pendant une minute, on ne s'intéressait qu'à ça, tous les deux, à mon journal mouillé, et pas à quel point on s'était manqués, comment on avait mal, ou peu importe. Après Leo est allé poser mon journal dans la bibliothèque, dans sa chambre. Il est revenu et il s'est assis sur le bord de la baignoire, mais pas face à moi, du côté de ma tête, le dos appuyé contre le mur et il n'a rien dit. Il a enlevé ses tennis avec les pieds et il a remonté toute sa jambe tendue sur le bord de la baignoire. Et il n'a plus bougé. J'ai demandé : - Tu veux prendre ton bain avec moi ? C'était surréaliste, ça l'a fait rire. Comme si de rien n'était et j'avais mal au ventre parce que je ne savais pas s'il avait lu ses mails et je ne savais pas comment savoir. En fait je ne savais pas ce qu'il faisait là, si ce n'est que c'était chez lui aussi. S'il était venu me voir moi, si... Je ne savais rien à rien. - Je ne préfère pas. Et je sur-analysais tout parce que je savais rien, que je ne comprenais rien à rien. J'avais envie de le toucher parce que je n'avais pas l'impression qu'il était vraiment là mais je n'osais pas. Et on parlait de façon très étrange. - Tu as quelque chose de prévu, pour ce soir ? Je le mangeais des yeux et il avait fermé les siens. - Jules fait une fête... J'ai posé la main sur son genou, il n'a pas bougé alors j'ai replié mon bras et je l'ai posé sur sa jambe tout en continuant à parler. - ... Et d'autres gens m'ont invité... Mais je n'avais pas envie de sortir. Je me disais que j'allais peut-être m'acheter du champagne et à manger à rester tout seul ici à ne rien faire ici. Et toi ? Il avait rouvert les yeux, il me regardait et il parlait lentement, l'air de choisir ses mots avec soin. - Je n'ai pas tellement envie de rester à ne rien faire. Tu penses que je pourrais t'accompagner à la fête chez Jules, par exemple ? - Bien sûr. J'avais tellement mal au ventre de ne pas comprendre. J'ai posé la tête sur mon bras replié, et il ajouté : - Mais si l'homme sur la vidéo que tu m'as envoyé est à cette fête, je préfèrerais aller ailleurs. C'est là que je me suis mis à pleurer. Quand il a dit ça et que je n'arrivais absolument pas à lire ce qu'il pensait dans son regard mais que la culpabilité qui était resté à la surface de ma peau a plongé à l'intérieur, partout, profondément, j'ai tourné la tête pour la cacher dans mon bras et j'ai éclaté en sanglots. Je sentais l'eau qui imprégnait son jean. J'avais intensément pitié de moi, je savais bien à quel point j'étais stupide de pleurer comme ça. Je suis stupide. Profondément pathétique de faire mal à quelqu'un et de pleurer pour être consolé ensuite. Mais j'ai chialé contre son jean et quand il a posé la main sur mon épaule j'ai pleuré encore plus fort, écrasé par trop de choses à la fois. Même sa douceur, j'avais envie de la démolir. Sa compassion. J'aurais voulu qu'il me frappe, même maintenant. Je voudrais qu'il me démolisse, qu'il se venge, qu'il m'écrase, qu'il Il s'est réveillé à cause de la lumière de mon portable que j'utilisais pour écrire. Je l'avais senti bouger mais je n'avais pas remarqué qu'il lisait par-dessus mon épaule. Il m'a dit que personne n'avait à me démolir. Que je n'étais à personne. Qu'il ne voulait pas se venger. Puis il s'est tourné pour dormir et moi j'ai encore tellement envie de pleurer. De demander pardon encore, qu'il me prenne dans ses bras. J'ai peur d'essayer et qu'il me repousse. J'ai peur de tout. Journal de Leo, dimanche 1er janvier 2017. Sasha est venu se blottir contre mon dos, après que je me sois réveillé pour le calmer parce qu'il écrivait dans son journal en tremblant, il écrivait des horreurs sans avoir l'air de se rendre compte de son état. Il s'est blotti contre mon dos et je me suis tourné pour le prendre dans mes bras. Et je ne veux pas me venger, je lui ai dit, je n'arrive pas à lui en vouloir mais quelque part je préférerais, parce que ce que je ressens, cette tristesse, cette déception, elle est bien plus profonde qu'un simple désir de vengeance qui s'efface après. Il a la tête sur mon ventre, j'écris avec mon journal posé sur la table de nuit, c'est galère mais je n'ai pas envie de quitter ses bras, malgré tout. Quand j'ai reçu la vidéo hier, je me suis retrouvé comme en transe et j'ai commencé à devenir dingue et j'ai fait flipper mes parents, j'ai même reparlé à ma mère, j'ai dit que je devais rentrer à Paris tout de suite et j'ai fini par leur hurler dessus que j'étais majeur, que je faisais ce que je voulais, que j'avais travaillé toute la semaine sans adresser la parole à Sasha ni à quiconque mais que maintenant je devais rentrer à Paris, que de toute façon les vacances étaient presque finies et que non, ça ne pouvait pas attendre et que j'en avais marre que tout le monde me prenne pour un ado attardé par capable de se prendre en main juste parce que j'étais dépressif et... J'ai dit beaucoup de choses dans cette voie là tout en ramassant mes affaires et en prenant des billets de train et j'ai fait pleurer ma mère, après mon père, félicitations à moi. Je fais pleurer tout le monde et moi je ne pleure plus. Sasha et moi on va bien ensemble, on casse toujours tout quand ça ne va pas. Putain, je nous déteste. Toujours est-il que je suis arrivé chez nous à dix-neuf heures sans savoir si Sasha serait là et avec qui mais il était là, il était seul et il a pleuré contre moi, il a pleuré nu et trempé dans mes bras, il a chialé pendant que je le séchais et que je l'habillais il a pleuré à en détremper ma chemise et aucun de nous ne parlait. Quand il a été habillé, je lui ai repoussé les cheveux en arrière, je lui ai dit qu'il était beau, qu'il ressemblait à Jack dans Titanic. Ce n'était pas vraiment vrai, mais une fois il m'a dit que son but dans la vie c'était de ressembler à Jack dans Titanic, alors... Bref. Ensuite on est allés à cette fête. C'était sympa. Bizarre mais sympa. Je pense que Jules n'était pas au courant du fait que Sasha se soit tapé un de ses profs et m'ai envoyé la vidéo. J'adore cette phrase, elle est tellement surréaliste. On a bu, mangé, joué aux cartes, on est rentrés avant trois heures du matin. On a fait l'am... On a fait des trucs, sur le canapé de ma chambre parce que je n'avais pas envie de penser à la vidéo. Du coup, j'y pensais encore plus, mais je n'en pensais rien. Tout ce que je voulais, c'était serrer Sasha dans mes bras et le protéger. C'est ce dont j'ai envie, maintenant. Journal de Sasha, mercredi 3 janvier. Les parents de Leo ont mis leur menace à exécution, si je puis dire. Leo est en train de faire sa valise, ils arrivent tout à l'heure pour l'emmener dans un pensionnat. Je n'ai même pas envie de les voir, ça me fait mal au cœur. Je vais devoir vivre ici tout seul ? Sans Leo ? C'est quoi cette putain de blague. Je ne sais même pas si on est encore ensemble, il ne dit rien. Il ne veut pas parler, il ne fait que me prendre dans ses bras et ... Enfin j'imagine qu'on est toujours ensemble, du coup. J'ai plus envie de rien. Je ne me sens pas mal, pourtant. Plutôt vide mais pas d'une façon désagréable. Journal de Leo, lundi 2 janvier J'ai repris les cours. Aucune motivation, je n'aurais jamais dû faire une prépa. Je suis en pension maintenant, c'est vrai que c'est plus facile de bosser sans Sasha à côté, mais... Dormir tout seul, j'avais oublié comment c'était. Révélation, c'est complètement nul. Le pensionnat est cool pourtant, j'ai une chambre avec sa mini salle de bains et son frigo. Mais j'ai surtout un lit vide, personne pour me faire rire, je me suis réveillé plein de fois cette nuit dans mon nouveau lit et il ne s'est pas réveillé avec moi, il n'y avait personne pour me dire que c'était rien. Je ne remplirais pas le frigo. Il le sait bien pourtant, mon père. Non, il ne le sait pas ? Je ne sais pas à quel point les parents sont capables de se rendre compte. De comment on va, de ce qu'on fait. De si on s'en sort. Je crois que tant qu'il n'y a pas un médecin pour leur dire, ils ne peuvent pas voir. Je crois que l'on ment trop bien. Je me demande, du coup, ce qu'eux ont que je suis incapable de voir. Leurs souffrances que j'ignore. Est-ce que je pourrais me rendre compte s'ils ne mangeaient rien ? J'en doute. Je ne sais même pas quand est-ce que je revois Sasha. Aucun soir de cette semaine en tout cas. Peut-être mercredi aprèm. Peut-être jamais. Journal de Leo, Mercredi 4 janvier. Je viens de recevoir la réponse de Sasha, à propos de se voir tout à l'heure. « On peut se voir pour diner, mais juste une heure. Il faut que tu travailles ». Je pense que mon père a dû le briefer longtemps, voir l'engueuler, pour qu'il me dise un truc pareil. Plus tard. Comme je n'ai pas le droit de faire monter des gens dans ma chambre, on s'est vu dans un restaurant. J'ai dit que je n'avais pas faim mais Sasha a dit que lui oui, alors on est allé dans un restaurant grec qui était dans la rue. J'ai pris juste une salade mais Sasha a fait exprès de manger plein de trucs que j'adore, du coup j'ai pas mal pioché dans son assiette. Je sais qu'il a fait exprès mais je le laisse faire. Engraisse-moi donc. Si ça te rend heureux. Et mon père ne l'avait pas briefé. Il m'a dit qu'il voulait vraiment que je travaille, que je réussisse mon année et lui aussi de son côté. Pour qu'on ait un avenir ensemble, un qui vaille le coup. C'était sérieux, trop pour lui et j'ai eu l'impression de me manger en pleine figure tout ce qui a changé depuis deux ans. Que je connais Sasha. Un an et demi qu'on se fréquente. A quel point il est devenu... Est-ce qu'il est devenu quoi que ce soit ou est ce qu'il l'a toujours été et je ne l'avais jamais vu ? Ensuite on s'est embrassé dans la cour du pensionnat, on s'est caressé à travers nos fringues et on ne s'est pas séparés avant qu'il ne grogne un truc du genre de « Je t'aime mais j'ai vraiment les couilles qui gèlent ». On s'est dit qu'on se reverrait dimanche, surement. Pour bruncher. Et que mes parents aillent se faire voir s'ils ont un autre plan, je suis majeur. Journal de Leo, lundi 16 janvier. J'ai l'impression que les jours sont les mêmes depuis toute ma vie. Je me lève, met de l'eau chaude et un sachet de thé dans mon thermos, m'habille et traverse Paris en métro avec un roman. Je bosse toute la matinée, à midi je bouquine à la cantine, je re-bosse tout l'aprèm, je reste à la bibliothèque travailler jusqu'à la fermeture, je retraverse Paris en roman avec un métro, je mange des biscuits, j'appelle Sasha, on fait des trucs au téléphone, je m'endors, je recommence le lendemain. Le mercredi, on mange au restaurant, le samedi, je bosse chez mes parents, le dimanche je rentre à l'appartement, là où c'était chez nous et ou ce n'est plus que chez lui. On fait l'amour, on brunche, on regarde une série, on refait l'amour, je rentre chez mes parents. A quel moment est-ce que je suis sensé vivre ? Seulement les dimanches de dix heures à dix-sept heures ? Sept heures par semaine ? Plus les vingt minutes que l'on passe au téléphone tous les soirs ? A propos de ça, c'est venu complètement par hasard. On s'est appelé de façon tout à fait normale au début, mais rapidement on s'est mis à parler d'à quel point on avait envie de se voir, de dormir l'un contre l'autre, de se serrer dans les bras. Ça a dérapé très vite et maintenant, me branler au téléphone avec mon copain parce qu'on ne peut pas se voir pour le faire pour de vrai, c'est devenu la norme. Mais c'est la merde quand même, non ? Honnêtement. Un peu. D'en arriver là, c'est triste. Pour l'instant, je tiens bien le coup. J'ai arrêté mon cerveau, il se repose. Je ne le rallume même pas le dimanche. Je profite de Sasha à la surface de ma peau. Ses caresses, ses mots. Il me raconte la fac, il sent bon. Je me repose. Je suis sur pause. Pour je ne sais pas combien de temps encore. Hier pendant le diner au restaurant, Sasha m'a demandé ce que je voulais faire pendant les vacances d'hiver et je ne savais pas quoi répondre. Je m'en foutais. Dormir, être avec lui, lire. Je peux faire ça n'importe où. J'ai essayé de le dire en arrondissant les angles mais il se rend très bien compte de comment je vais, il ne se laisse pas abuser. Et lui, comment il va ? Journal de Sasha, dimanche 29 janvier. Leo vient de partir. Il m'épuise mentalement. On n'a pas quitté le lit de l'aprèm. Je n'avais pas fait les courses pour le brunch, on a commandé à manger et à part le trajet jusqu'à la porte pour récupérer la nourriture et peut être un ou deux passages à la salle de bains, on est resté sept heures d'affilées au lit. A parler, somnoler et baiser. Je déteste ce terme. Je l'employais tout le temps avant, pour mettre les choses à distance, pour les rendre crues, dures, pour qu'elles fassent moins mal quelque part, comme si je ne me sentais pas concerné. Baiser, c'était les mecs qui venaient et partaient, ceux des bars, des portes cochères, des sites de rencontre, se sentir mourir c'est se sentir exister. Je dis qu'on a baisé parce qu'on a couché ensemble sans raison. Sans envie. Seuls chacun de notre côté, l'un sur l'autre mais complètement ailleurs. Même quand on parlait, on était seuls. Mais pas comme s'il avait été un étranger. Plutôt comme s'il faisait partie de moi, entièrement, qu'il était à l'intérieur de moi et qu'il ne faisait aucun bruit. La fac, ça va. Les cours ne sont pas franchement compliqués, c'est juste que je n'arrive pas à trouver ma voie. Je ne sais pas ce que j'aime, ni ce pour quoi je suis doué. J'ai repris le violon. Je n'avais jamais vraiment arrêté, mais motivé par Jules, je me suis inscrit à toutes les formations musicales que je trouvais, aux courts de musique, à n'importe quoi. A côté de ça, je suis membre de pas mal d'assos, des trucs LGBT, des trucs écolos, même un truc anti-drogue qui me fait rire vu que je ne suis pas le dernier à avaler des cachets en soirée. Mais mon corps s'en fout, il a vu pire. Je me demande ce que je vais faire, dans la vie. A part du violon. Parfois je me dis qu'on pourrait se marier, Leo et moi, lui n'aura qu'à bosser et moi je tiendrais la maison, et voilà. Motivant. Dans deux semaines c'est la St-Valentin et le début des vacances. Et je n'ai même pas la motivation d'organiser quelque chose. Parce qu'il a l'air de s'en foutre. Il m'a épuisé, vraiment. Journal de Leo, mardi 31 janvier. Il est plus d'une heure du matin, mais je n'arrive absolument pas à dormir. Le coup de téléphone de Sasha tout à l'heure m'a mis mal à l'aise, je n'arrête pas d'y penser. Il y a de plus en plus de blancs quand on se parle, je ne trouve pas quoi lui dire et j'ai l'impression qu'il a hâte que ça se termine, il est toujours occupé. Mais ça ne parvient pas à aller jusqu'à l'endroit de mon cerveau ou je réagirais, il y a trop de couches de blanc, de sommeil. De protection. Et tout à l'heure, il avait l'air... Pire que soulé de moi. Il avait l'air de s'en foutre totalement. Il était à une soirée, sur le balcon à fumer une cigarette. Ça fait un moment qu'on a cessé de se raconter des cochonneries au téléphone. L'excitation est retombée. Et je commence à m'alerter mais je n'ai pas le courage de bouger. Pas le courage de nous secouer, de raviver la flamme ou... De prendre soin de lui. C'est lui qui prend soin de moi, c'est comme ça depuis le début. Mon corps est épuisé, j'ai du mal à tenir un stylo mais mon esprit tourne dans tous les sens. Mercredi. Demain. D'ici à demain, je trouverais le courage de faire quelque chose. Pour notre diner. Je me rendors. Journal de Leo, mercredi 1 février 2015. Sasha vient de m'envoyer un sms pour me dire qu'il était occupé par la soirée d'une de ses associations et qu'on se verrait dimanche. Il y a des smileys dans le message alors qu'il sait que je déteste ça. Du coup je parviens à sortir un peu de mon hébétude, mais seulement pour être en colère. Que je nous laisse couler d'accord, mais je suis en prépa, je ne fais que bosser tout le temps et puis même, je suis déprimé et ailleurs et froid, c'est mon caractère... Mais qu'est-ce qu'il a comme excuses, Sasha ? Pourquoi il ne fait rien, lui ? Je n'ai pas répondu. Je l'emmerde. Plus tard. Du coup il est dix-huit heures trente, l'heure à laquelle j'arrête de travailler normalement. Je devrais aller diner avec mes parents, je les vois seulement le vendredi et le samedi soir, ça leur ferait plaisir. Mais non. J'ai envie de sortir, j'ai envie d'aller dans un bar et de boire jusqu'à me sentir mieux. Ce qui n'arrivera à aucun moment, puisque l'alcool ne me fais pas me sentir mieux. Mais bon. Sms : C'est ou, la soirée de ton association ? Sms de Sasha : Dans une salle de la fac pourquoi ? Sms : Je peux venir ? Sms de Sasha : Ouais. Oh, whoah. Pas de « Vraiment ? ça me ferait super plaisir ! » ou de « Bien sûr mon amour ». Ouais. Juste ouais. D'accord. Je vais y aller, très bien. Je suis dans un amphithéâtre vide, assis au premier rang. J'écris super mal, je n'y vois rien. Mais ça me détend. Ça m'enlève le mal au cœur que j'ai, le pressentiment que quelque chose va très mal se passer. J'y suis allé. Il faisait glacial quand je suis sorti du métro, j'étais parti l'esprit tellement ailleurs que je n'avais pas de manteau, seulement un pull et mon pashmina autour du cou. A travers le froid, j'avais l'impression de traverser les couches de blanc dans ma tête. Les couches de vide et de silence. Comme si je tâtonnais vers le bouton pour rallumer mon cerveau, loin au fond, dans le noir, difficile d'accès. J'ai trouvé facilement la salle, je me suis faufilé à l'intérieur et je suis resté un moment contre le mur à observer. Ce n'était pas du tout comme je pensais. Je crois que pour moi, une soirée plus ou moins organisée par Sasha serait forcément quelque part entre le luxe et le stupre. Mais rien à voir. Les gens étaient tous habillés... En artistes. En hippy-hipsters-punk. Même Sasha, quand j'ai fini par le retrouver dans la foule, il n'était pas comme d'habitude. Il avait des vans aux pieds que je ne lui avais jamais vu, son éternel slim noir déchiré et le tee-shirt de l'association. Moi je détonnais, avec mon pull en V sur ma chemise en oxford, mon pantalon en velours côtelé et mon pashmina, mon mini sac en cuir en bandoulière. J'avais l'air d'un gosse de riche évanescent, perdu chez les bobo-gaucho. J'avais l'air ridicule. Et je n'osais pas bouger. Sasha a fini par me repérer. Il s'est approché avec l'air gêné, dans sa tête je le voyais repasser les minutes précédentes, se demander depuis combien de temps je le regardais et s'il avait agi de façon préjudiciable. Il s'est planté face à moi. - Tu es venu. - Ouais. Je ne comprends toujours pas pourquoi on était bloqués comme ça. Il m'a regardé de haut en bas, m'a dit que j'étais mignon mais je savais que je faisais tâche et un moment, je me suis demandé s'il avait honte de moi. Ses amis sont venus, Jules et Mélina que je connaissais, et d'autres qui ne savaient pas qui j'étais, à qui il a dit : - Leo, mon copain. Et pendant un instant j'ai pensé qu'il allait dire « un copain » et je n'aurais même pas réagi. Ses amis se sont éloignés. J'avais envie de l'attaquer et je n'y arrivais même pas. On ne se disait rien, je le fixais et il regardait ailleurs sans parler jusqu'à que quelqu'un vienne lui demander un truc et qu'il me dise : - Désolé, je... - Vas-y. Je suis resté là. C'est seulement quand j'ai vu Jules regarder vers moi, lui dire quelque chose tout bas et qu'il a haussé les épaules avec l'air abattu que je suis sorti. Je ne sais pas quoi faire. Journal de Leo, jeudi 2 février Je suis dans le taxi, je fais l'aller-retour au pensionnat pour prendre mes affaires avant d'aller en cours. J'ai dormi avec Sasha cette nuit. Le blanc dans mon cerveau est parti, mais il n'y a que de l'angoisse à la place et ça ne va pas du tout. J'espérais que Sasha viendrait me chercher dans l'amphi, porté par je ne sais pas quel sixième sens. Mais ça n'a pas été le cas. Alors j'ai foutu mon journal dans mon sac et je suis ressorti dans la cour, juste à côté de la salle où avait lieu la soirée, et je me suis assis dans un coin. Les gens sortaient fumer des cigarettes en pestant contre le froid. J'étais gelé mais je ne voulais pas partir, ça aurait été comme abandonner. Je n'osais pas non plus rentrer et lui parler directement, j'avais peur qu'il me repousse devant tout le monde. Bref. C'était la merde. Il est sorti fumer une cigarette, dans son long manteau noir et lourd, le Dior Homme que j'aime bien lui emprunter parce que je n'ai pas de choses aussi jolies, parce qu'il est un peu trop grand pour lui. J'ai marché jusqu'à lui, il m'a souri avec ce même air gêné, défait un peu, triste. Ses doigts étaient tièdes sur ma joue. - Tu es glacé. Tu devrais rentrer. - A l'intérieur, ou au pensionnat ? Il a perdu son sourire, son masque. Il s'est senti minable et ça m'a fait du bien, égoïstement. Il a laissé ses doigts sur ma joue, je le sentais chercher à s'agripper. - Pardon, Il a dit. Il n'avait pas encore allumé sa cigarette, il l'avait dans les doigts. Il m'a caressé la joue un moment, il a dit : - Tu me manques tellement. - Je suis là. - Même quand t'es là, tu l'es pas vraiment. Depuis quelques semaines. Tout le blanc partait en lambeaux, j'avais envie de lui crier dessus. Pourquoi tu ne fais rien, alors ? Pourquoi tu te contentes de t'éloigner comme si ça n'avait pas d'importance ? T'en as marre ? Dis-le, si t'en as marre. Un an et demi que tu supportes mes crises, ma dépression, mes tentatives de suicide, mon anorexie mentale, ma propension à m'entailler la peau au cutter. T'en a marre ? Ça te fait sombrer comme moi et tu veux survivre ? Mais dis le... - C'est parce que je bosse trop ? Il a regardé par-dessus son épaule, m'a entrainé un tout petit peu plus loin. Il s'en foutait, avant. Ce que les gens pouvaient penser de lui, de nous, de tout. Il s'en foutait. On arrive en pensionnat. Je suis à nouveau dans le taxi. Je n'ai pas assez dormi pour suivre correctement aujourd'hui, ça va être l'horreur. Je vais m'endormir sur la table. Tant pis. Il a essayé de me tempérer. De dire que, oui mais, il comprenait, je devais travailler et puis tout allait bien, on allait quand même bien, je ne comprenais même pas ce qu'il racontait, qu'il avait seulement besoin de temps pour lui comme s'il n'en avait pas assez alors que je n'étais jamais là, qu'il ne pouvait pas me téléphoner tout le soir et tout ça. Quand j'ai dit que j'allais rentrer avec lui ce soir-là, il a dit que ce n'était pas une bonne idée et j'ai explosé. - Mais tu m'aimes encore ? J'ai eu l'impression de lui mettre une baffe. Il n'a pas répondu, je l'ai agrippé par les épaules et je l'ai secoué. - T'as besoin de réfléchir pour répondre à ça ? Son pote Jules est venu nous séparer et je me suis barré sans demander mon reste. Je n'avais même plus froid, je bouillais de rage. Je suis parti comme une flèche, j'ai descendu toute la rue Mouffetard sans entendre les bruits des restaurants et des bars. Je me suis retrouvé dans ce qui avait été notre appartement sans m'en rendre vraiment compte. Dans ce qui avait été ma chambre et la bibliothèque. J'ai foutu les bouquins par terre. Si les bibliothèques n'avaient pas été fixés au mur, je les aurais balancées aussi. J'ai tout jeté, rayon par rayon et au fur et à mesure que les livres tombaient avec des bruits sourds et mous, s'écrasant les uns sur les autres, je me sentais un peu moins en colère. A la fin, quand il n'y avait plus un ouvrage sur les rayons, je me suis senti un petit peu mieux. Tout le blanc était parti, cette fois. Je voyais à nouveau clair. Je suis allé chercher une boite d'allumettes. Sasha en garde toujours dans le grand vide poche de la cuisine. Il aime bien les boites qu'on a parfois dans les restaurants chics, même si ça se fait de moins en moins. Il y en avait une du Caro de Lyon, un restaurant avec de grandes bibliothèques. Ça m'a semblé de circonstances. Le bout des allumettes était vert, pas rouge. - Bien sûr, que je t'aime encore. Il était derrière moi, dans l'encadrement de la porte. L'air tendu, mais plus proche de l'excitation que du simple stress. Tournant la tête, il a regardé par la porte de ma chambre, les livres tous par terre. Je ne sais pas s'il a vu la boite d'allumettes dans mes mains mais il a dit : - Ce que tu peux être mélodramatique, Leo. Je suis arrivé à Henri IV. Mais je suis une boule de nerfs, du coup je continue d'écrire pendant mon cours de latin. J'ai reposé la boite d'allumettes. Il m'a tendu les mains, je n'avais pas envie de les prendre alors il s'est approché et il m'a enlacé. Finalement j'ai fait pareil. Il m'a dit : - Allons au lit. - On ne va pas régler ça en couchant ensemble ! - Non, on ne va pas coucher ensemble. Et dans son ton ça disait qu'il n'en avait même pas envie. Sasha, ne pas avoir envie de moi, ça m'a foutu un coup. Même en y repensant maintenant, j'ai mal au cœur, et peur. On est allés au lit, le temps semblait ralenti. Les draps étaient froids comme si personne n'y avait dormi depuis un moment et ça m'a fait peur. On s'est déshabillés côte à côte sans se toucher, on s'est glissé sous la couette en caleçon et t-shirt et lorsqu'on a été allongés ensemble, on s'est tout de suite embrassés, enlacés, attirés l'un vers l'autre par quelque chose de plus fort que le reste. On s'est réchauffés, les mains sur la peau, je respirais son odeur et ça mettait toutes mes angoisses en sourdine, ça les affaiblissait mais la vraie peur, elle perçait à travers et on n'entendait plus qu'elle. Finalement Sasha a mis sa tête dans mon cou, je sentais son souffle quand il parlait, contre le pavillon de mon oreille. Ses murmures qui faisaient vibrer jusqu'à mon ventre. - Je ne vais jamais cesser de t'aimer. J'ai dû bouger instinctivement parce qu'il m'a retenu. - Non, attends. Ecoute moi. Il y aura probablement un jour ou je parlerais de toi à des inconnus et je dirais Leo, mon ex, ce jour arrivera probablement parce que lorsque l'on est avec quelqu'un, il n'y a que deux possibilités ; Soit on restera avec cette personne jusqu'à que la mort nous sépare, soit on se quittera. On s'est rencontré à seize ans, statistiquement on ne finira pas ensemble, tu le sais. Ouais. Je le sais. Je le savais. Je le sais. Faut pas que je pleure en latin. Après, il a dit : - Mais je ne cesserais jamais de t'aimer. Tu es mon premier amour, mon plus grand amour. Tu as mon cœur, tu as mon âme, tu as mon corps. Je ne pourrais jamais cesser de t'aimer. Après, tout a commencé à se mélanger, ses mots et ses gestes, je n'arrive pas à me rappeler. Des mots d'amour en pagaille et la peur perçait quand même ma peau comme une aiguille tendant un morceau de cuir jusqu'à qu'il se rompe. - Ça fait deux ans et demi que je t'aime. Depuis que je t'ai vu pleurer à l'infirmerie. Que j'ai vu tout ce gris dans tes yeux. Je l'ai partout sur moi, ce gris. Il ne partira jamais. Tu es mon cœur, tu es mon âme, tu es mon corps. - Et c'est moi qui suis mélodramatique. Il m'a filé un coup de coude, je l'ai frappé aussi, griffé et embrassé jusqu'à que ses yeux brillent. Mais après, Merde. Interro de latin. Je me suis fait confisquer mon journal en cours d'histoire. Je viens juste de le récupérer et je n'arrive toujours pas à me concentrer du coup j'ai sauté le déjeuner et là j'écris au CDI. Sasha m'a dit la vérité. Il m'a dit que je n'avais pas réagi, après qu'il m'ait trompé. Que je l'avais pardonné comme si ça n'avait pas d'importance et j'avais beau essayer de lui expliquer qu'il avait été si mal que j'avais seulement eu de la compassion pour moi, j'avais seulement été désolé de l'avoir fait se sentir aussi mal, il n'avait pas l'air de comprendre. Moi non plus, je ne comprenais pas. Ce qu'il voulait. Que je lui en veuille, que je m'inquiète plus. Le truc, c'est qu'il m'a terriblement blessé, que j'ai détesté ça alors j'ai reculé, je me suis mis en hauteur, là où il ne pouvait pas m'atteindre. Aimer les gens c'est leur laisser la possibilité de nous faire mal, et je lui ai retiré cette possibilité. Je suis complètement embrouillé. J'ai très mal dormi, près de lui. Il y avait une incompréhension monstrueuse entre nous et rien à faire pour qu'elle s'en aille. J'ai essayé de lui faire dire quelque chose de clair, est ce qu'il voulait qu'on arrête ou quelque chose comme ça, mais non. J'ai abandonné avant d'en avoir mal au cœur. Tout s'embrouille et j'ai peur que le blanc revienne. Je vais lui écrire une lettre. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Et si je ne veux pas d'enfants ? Si j'ai envie de tout détruire autour de moi sauf toi, de danser au milieu des décombres ? Si je ne veux pas me marier et te donner tout ce que tu veux, pas me fixer à dix-huit ans. On n'aurait pas dû vivre ensemble, on a usé notre rêve comme on tire sur la corde ou l'ambulance. On s'épuise à s'en demander trop, on se fait du mal et on traite ça comme un problème à résoudre. Et si je ne veux pas être cette personne saine et réussie qui obtient tout ? Si je veux être un poète maudit qui se fout en l'air, tu me suivras ?Joue du violon pour moi, fais-moi rire, fais-moi l'amour, torture moi, rends moi fou. Secoue mon cerveau jusqu'à qu'il explose, met tes mains sur mon cou pour ne plus que je respire, baise-moi et parle-moi de la fin du monde, je ne veux plus vivre comme ça.Premier amour, dernier amour, fais exploser la terre, qu'il n'y ait plus que nous. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- On n'est pas sérieux. Les parents de Leo vont l'engueuler mais il a l'air de s'en foutre. Il dit qu'il les emmerde. Quand il n'a pas dormi au pensionnat jeudi dernier, ils les ont appelés le lendemain et il s'est fait engueuler. Il m'a dit qu'il avait gueulé plus fort qu'eux et ça ne m'étonnait pas, il avait l'air tellement... Il était là le vendredi soir quand je suis rentré, il était dans la cuisine. Il m'a parlé de l'engueulade, puis il m'a laissé une lettre, m'a embrassé et est parti. Honnêtement ça m'a fait super peur mais ce n'était pas une lettre de rupture, plutôt une lettre d'amour désespérée, érotique et poétique, crue et pure. Magnifique. Ils prévoient de la neige à Lyon, pour après-demain. Pour la St-Valentin. J'aurais pu lui faire une surprise, mais quand il est arrivé tout à l'heure pour le brunch, je n'ai rien pu retenir. Sa lettre m'avait bouleversé et même si tout n'avait pas de sens, je la comprenais quand même, dans mon ventre tous ses mots résonnaient.On rentre à Lyon lundi soir. On fêtera la saint-Valentin là-bas, on ira dans les Monts du Lyonnais faire de la luge, on boira des cocktails à la neige, on fera l'amour malgré le froid et l'alcool, on se fera mal pour se sentir vivant. Ça marchera. Et après ? Il n'y a pas d'après. Le monde s'arrêtera là, avec le coucher du soleil.Bref, Leo a dormi avec moi cette nuit aussi. On n'a pas encore commencé à rangé la bibliothèque. Quand je passe et que je vois les livres par terre, ça me fait quelque chose, c'est presque de la réjouissance. Quelque chose qui a explosé, qui est retombé là comme une installation artistique. Un acte d'amour.L'art, c'est l'amour rendu publique.On ne fait pas l'amour. On se regarde longuement. On parle de choses qui n'existent pas, de choses très lointaines. J'y pense des heures après, à l'essence des choses que l'on dégage avec des mots, comme des ongles fouillants dans le sol, délogeant des cailloux.Leo m'a parlé du blanc, comme un brouillard qu'il avait dans la poitrine. J'ai l'impression de le voir flotter autour de nous, masquant les autres petit à petit. Ils s'éloignent, leurs voix sont brouillées. Lui est plus net que jamais.Le blanc ne rentre pas en nous. Il nous sépare du reste, il les remplit eux. Il les fait disparaitre. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- On est dans le train. J'ai cours demain matin, mais à quoi bon ? Il faut qu'on arrive avant le 14, avant le début de la Saint-Valentin. Il faut qu'on soit là-bas dès ce soir, c'est vital. Le reste n'a aucune importance.Sasha écrit en face de moi. De temps en temps on redresse la tête, toujours en même temps et on se regarde, sans sourire. Son regard est intense, ses yeux brillent autant que les particules arc-en-ciel sur la neige, les minuscules points étincelants dans la lumière.Tout est blanc par la vitre du train. C'est comme ça que les choses doivent être. On n'a pas peur. On ne sait pas comment ça va se passer, mais on sait que l'on va s'en sortir. On n'a pas besoin de se parler, on ressent les choses sans se toucher.On se parle dans nos têtes et on entend les réponses de l'autres. Pas en mots, plutôt comme des vagues, chaudes et salées sur le cœur, le genre qui recouvre et donne les larmes aux yeux un court instant. On ne pleure pas pourtant, mais on se sent triste, irrémédiablement, inéluctablement. On sait que tout va s'arrêter et on le désire trop pour même penser à lutter.On est arrivés chez Sasha, il joue du violon sur la terrasse recouverte de neige, à peine habillé. J'écris de l'autre côté de la vitre. J'écris tout ce qu'il devra rester.Je me demande si ce sera comme mourir.J'ai trouvé la caméra de Sasha en fouillant dans la salle de jeux. Il a cessé de jouer du violon, il prépare à diner. Du vin blanc, du chocolat et lui, c'est tout ce dont j'ai envie. Fin du Journal de Leo. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Le portable de Leo a sonné tout à l'heure, alors qu'on était sur mon lit à s'embrasser, la bouche pleine de chocolat et de vin glacé. Il n'a pas décroché. Il l'a ramassé, a ouvert la fenêtre et l'a jeté dans la Saône, en contrebas. Il n'a probablement pas lancé assez fort, il a dû tomber sur le quai, dans la neige. Ensuite il m'a regardé, je lui ai tendu mon portable et il a fait la même chose.Puis on a fait l'amour, et c'était comme la première fois et la dernière fois mélangées. Je touchais le bout de ses doigts, tout mon corps se connectait au sien. Je sentais son cœur battre jusque dans ses chevilles, derrière ses genoux, le long de sa colonne, sur le lobe de ses oreilles. J'avais envie de lui de toutes les façons dont j'avais eu envie de lui. Tendrement, violement. Je voulais le baiser, je voulais l'adorer. Je voulais partager son système sanguin, que son cœur batte dans mes chevilles, le long de ma colonne, sur le lobe de mes oreilles. Je voulais compresser mon corps, qu'il tienne dans le creux de ses mains.Il sera bientôt minuit. Il est près de moi, il vient de refermer son journal. Il enroule son pashmina autour de son cou. Ses yeux ont la couleur de l'argent, liquide et solidifié de nouveau, pris dans la gangue de glace qui va bientôt tout recouvrir.Il tend la main pour prendre mon journal, pour le ranger avec le sien. Je vais cesser d'écrire. Il est bientôt minuit. Ça sera bientôt fini. Nous marcherons dans la nuit, main dans la main, jusqu'à la fin.Jusqu'à que le décor explose. Fin du journal de Sasha. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Nous sommes toujours en vie. La plupart des gens ne peuvent pas en dire autant. Nous étions préparés à ce qui allait leur arriver, mais c'était dur quand même. Nous n'avions pas peur pour nous même, nous avions peur comme on a envie, des enfants au départ des montagnes russes, le cœur libre capable de hurler d'excitation.Je peux t'aimer pour toujours ici. Je t'entends rire sans t'arrêter, je me soule de l'écho pendant des heures, jusqu'à que tu ris à nouveau.Le blanc est devenu solide. Il est froid et miraculeux, il est le silence que j'appelais.Tu ne connaitrais pas la fin. Fin du dossier. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- J'ai commencé à écrire cette histoire en 2013, il y a sept ans. Je l'écrivais en direct, sur des applications de messageries, à cinq, dix, quinze personnes, et je la postais sur un skyblog. J'ai passé peut être deux ans à l'écrire, article par article, en essayant de rester en temps réel.Puis j'ai voulu transférer cette histoire sur AO3, ce qui m'a également... Pris deux ans.C'est désormais chose faite, cette histoire est terminée et entièrement posté ici. Elle a vieillie, mon écriture a changée et je n'écris plus de choses aussi... Emo. Mais j'adore cette histoire. J'espère qu'elle vous a plu. Et la page peut se tourner. Leo. ( qui a l'époque, ne s'appelait pas Leo.)
11243142	Starlight Princess	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": "F/M", "Characters": "Allura (Voltron), Shiro (Voltron)", "Fandom": "Voltron: Legendary Defender", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by RukiaG", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-19T00:00:00", "words": "4,168", "Additional Tags": "Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Lawyer Allura, Singer Shiro, Dorks in Love", "Relationship": "Allura/Shiro (Voltron)", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": "In every reality: Shallura AU one-shots", "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Allura stopped abruptly, mop in hand. Well, that was weird. She had turned the radio on while she cleaned her apartment (it was the last thing she felt like doing a Sunday afternoon, but it was something that needed to be done like, two weeks ago) and the song being broadcasted now sounded oddly familiar. Not because of the lyrics, some generic thing about a lost love, no. What had captured her attention was the male voice of the singer.She knew that voice. But from where?Before she remembered though, the song was over. She paid attention to see if she could catch the name of the singer, but it was immediately followed by a different, old song.Allura shrugged and kept doing her chores. It was just a song, she had probably heard it before somewhere. Nothing to worry about.That didn’t stop her from mull it over for the rest of the day.Then the next day, while she was stuck on a traffic jam on her way to work, that song started to sound on the radio again. She turned up the volume slightly. Now that she paid more attention, the lyrics felt oddly relatable. And that voice… Why couldn’t she remember where she heard it before?The song ended and the broadcaster announced cheerfully:“We just heard the newest big hit, Starlight Princess, by young promise Shiro! Now we…”The broadcaster kept babbling, but Allura didn’t listen. All she could think about was that name, Shiro, and that voice. She remembered now why it sounded so familiar. It sounded exactly like Takashi, who had been her best friend at High School, and her secret crush. Also, his surname was Shirogane… Could it be the same person? But wait, Takashi had wanted to become a pilot, and sure, he used to have a nice voice, but how could he had become a singer when he was supposed to be at the Garrison?A loud honk brought her out of her thoughts. The traffic in front of her was moving. Allura tried to focus on driving her car, mind racing with memories from her teenage years.Once she was at the office, she buried herself in her work, as she always did, trying to prove she got the job because of her own merits, not because she was the daughter of a famous lawyer. But she couldn’t get that song out of her head. Eventually, checking twice that she was alone, she searched the music video in YouTube. It had an insanely high amount of views even though it was posted the previous week.As the video played, Allura let out a sigh. That couldn’t be Takashi, right? She didn’t remember him being so… buff. And Takashi didn’t have a lock of white hair, nor a scar across his nose, nor…And then, Shiro looked right at the camera and Allura almost choked in her own breath. Those eyes, that smile… Those were Takashi’s, no doubt.Allura leant back on her chair. That was… unexpected. Who would have thought that Takashi (sweet, shy, responsible Takashi) would become a pop star?Should she wish him luck with his new career? She still had his email address and phone number. Well, the old ones. After High School, Allura went to University to study Law, and Takashi enlisted at the Garrison, yet they often exchanged emails and phone calls. Until he didn’t answer anymore. Allura hadn’t thought much about it at the moment, because she was focused on finishing her degree, and after that she never got around to try and contact him. It had been years since the last time she heard about him.Well, his life wasn’t her business now. She had a job as a lawyer she worked very hard for, whatever reason he had to forsake his dream of becoming a pilot for being a singer, it didn’t matter to her. She was over him, and surely he had forgotten her anyway.That didn’t stop her from watching the music video that night at home so many times, by the next day she almost knew the lyrics by heart.And it got worse.Suddenly, his song was playing in every broadcast channel at almost every time, and everybody seemed to talk about it. It was especially bad when, Wednesday afternoon, Allura went grocery shopping and ran into two teenagers, listening to guess what song and giggling nonstop.“This is the best song ever.” One of them said.“And Shiro’s so hot!”“Do you think there’re photos of him shirtless?”“I hope so! What a hunk…”Allura got away from them before she lost control of the overwhelming need to punch both girls. How could they be so…? Ugh, she didn’t even want to think about silly horny teenagers. Besides, the song wasn’t even that good. In fact, she listened to it that night again, just to remind herself of how bad it actually was. Several times.Next day, there was little work to do at the office, and Allura found herself absentmindedly looking through social media. Of course, she wasn’t going to search for Takashi’s, that would make her feel like an obsessed stalker. Then again, it was hard to ignore, since Shiro’s song seemed to be trending topic. Maybe a quick look wouldn’t be so bad, right?Actually, even if there were hundreds of posts about how wonderful Shiro’s music was, he wasn’t very active on social media. She could only find the music video of Starlight Princess, the date of release of his album, and the announcement that Shiro was going to be interviewed next Friday on a popular talk show.Of course, she wasn’t going to watch it.Friday night, Allura came back home late, and she only wanted to change into her favourite pyjamas and lay on the couch, watching television. The fact that she ended up watching the same channel were Takashi was going to be interviewed was a mere coincidence.Allura barely paid attention as the host welcomed Shiro. He looked… good. Very good. How could he look so good in just a shirt and black trousers? And a glove. She hadn’t noticed it before, but also in the music video he was wearing a glove on his right hand, and he seemed to favour the left, which was weird because she remembered him being right handed.The interview went on smoothly, Takashi being as sweet and polite as she remembered and the host making only professional questions, until…“So” The host grinned slyly. “I’ve been looking through the songs’ titles for your album. ‘Alone in Space’, ‘Lost Angel’, ‘Cosmic dust’… To name a few. All of them seem quite depressing, right? ”Shiro chuckled bashfully.“Yeah, well, I guess I wrote them when I was going through a bad streak.”“But ‘Starlight Princess’ is about a lost love. Tell me: Is it inspired in your own experience?”Allura leant forward. She hadn’t thought about it but, well, the fact that he had never been interested in her didn’t mean he had never been interested in anyone. On the screen, Takashi blushed.“Well, there was someone…”The audience gasped. The host looked delighted with the exclusive. Allura felt a sudden rush of anger against this unknown person who dared to hurt Takashi’s feelings. They had been friends, after all, and she still cared for him more than she would admit, even for herself. Also, she was sure she only felt anger. That was not a bit of jealousy on the back of her head, nope, not at all.Once the audience had calmed down, the host pushed for a more concrete answer.“So, you’ve been in love?”Shiro’s cheeks were now a deep crimson.“Yes.”“Come on, tell us more, Shiro! Who was the lucky one?”Shiro fidgeted, and for a second it seemed like he wasn’t going to answer. He finally gave in.“It was a friend from High School. I’ve been in love with her for years, but she… She didn’t love me back.”The audience let out a sympathetic ‘Awww’. Allura pushed down the jealousy she wasn’t feeling to wonder who this friend could be. How weird. They had had the same friends at High School, and she would have noticed if Takashi had a crush on any of them.“How sad. Say, do you want to send her a message? What’s her name?”Shiro smiled, a soft light in his eyes.“Allura. Her name’s Allura.”……WHAT???!!!!!Allura stared at the television, mouth wide open. Did Takashi just say he had been in love with her? Why? That couldn’t be true, she had only been a friend to him! She was sure, she spent several nights crying for her unrequited crush as a teenager. And now he says…The interview went on, the host trying to coax more information about that sad story of lost love out Shiro, and Shiro telling something about she friendzoning him and, and…And Allura couldn’t stand it anymore. She turned the television off and threw the remote control on the couch. It bounced off to the ground, but she was too upset to care. She stood up, opened a bottle of wine and served herself a glass. She gulped it down in one go and filled it again.Why did he… How could he… How dared he! So many years without getting a single word from him and now he says she turned him down? In live TV! The nerve of that guy!Allura swallowed the wine, letting it burn her throat, a scarlet drop falling down her chin, and filled the glass again, leaving the now empty bottle on the counter. She was starting to get dizzy. She usually didn’t drink, mostly only at social gatherings, and never on an empty stomach. But she was so mad… They were friends. Why didn’t Takashi tell her how he felt?Why didn’t she tell him?Allura sat down. She was angry and sad and drunk and she wanted to rant to someone, but it was late and she didn’t want to bother her father or her uncle with such a trivial matter. And she didn’t have a friend close enough to call in the middle of the night to rant about how heartbroken she felt, not since…She couldn’t bear it anymore. Allura stood up and staggered to her desk, turning the computer on and opening her email account. She started to write, fast, angry, her rhythmical tipping filling the silence. Once she was done, she felt slightly better. Without thinking, she clicked on the address space and searched for Takashi’s email. She hesitated for a second, mouse resting just above the ‘send’ button. She hadn’t bothered to read the email to see what exactly she wrote, but the alcohol made her bold and, well, sure Shiro was now too busy doing celebrity stuff to take a look at his old email address, so…She clicked ‘send’.Done. It was done. Now… Now she wanted to sleep. Feeling suddenly drained of all energy, she turned off the computer and crawled to bed, not bothering with brushing her teeth, barely remembering to turn the lights off, and fell asleep. The doorbell woke her up.At first, Allura buried her face in the pillow, cursing whoever invented that damned thing. When it was obvious that she wasn’t going back to sleep, she looked at the alarm clock. It was well past eleven.Allura stood up slowly, head throbbing and an awful taste in her mouth. She drank some water as the doorbell rang again.“Okay, okay. I’m going.”She opened the door and froze.There, standing in front of her apartment door, was none other than Takashi Shirogane himself, looking hot as hell in just a plain white t-shirt, dark jeans and a black leather jacket.He sighed, as if he had been holding his breath, and smiled at her, soft and sweet.“Hi.”Allura closed the door.Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?What did just… How… Why was him at her front door? Was she still dreaming? Yeah, it should be that, yes, sure, she was no doubt still asleep. There was no way in hell he found out where she lived and showed up at her door suddenly and just said ‘hi’. She was just going back to bed and wait until this weird dream was over.The doorbell rang again.She was seriously starting to hate that thing.Allura paced around the apartment. Should she open the door? Surely if she waited long enough he’ll go away, right? But he already knew she was home so maybe he’ll just stay there until she opened the door again… But he wouldn’t do that, would he? He was quite stubborn when he wanted to… What should she do?She stopped in front of a mirror and looked at herself. Her eyes were slightly red and her hair looked like it hadn’t been brushed in a week. She was still wearing her pink, worn out, cosy pyjamas. Should she get dressed? It would only take a few minutes…A soft knocking on the door brought her back to reality. Still better than the damned doorbell.“Allura? Please, open. I… I’m sorry I showed up so suddenly. I just… I wanted to see you.” There was a pause, Allura held her breath. “Look, I… I understand if you don’t want to see me again. I’ll just… I’ll just leave, if you want me to.”Another pause, and she heard footsteps from the other side of the door. Something clicked inside of her, cold realization that she was letting a chance slip through her fingers again. Of what, she wasn’t sure, but she ran to the door, letting it open as she leant out the stairs’ handrail. She spotted Shiro, already on the floor below.“Takashi, wait!”He stopped and looked up, surprised. Allura hesitated.“I think we should talk.”Shiro nodded, and climbed back up two steps at the time. Allura let him in and closed the door, avoiding eye contact.“I’m sorry my apartment is so messy right now…”“Please, don’t apologize. It’s my fault for not calling beforehand.”There was an awkward pause.“So… How did you know where I live?”Shiro rubbed his neck.“I called Matt. He asked Rolo, who asked Nyma.”Of course it was Nyma who let it slip. Allura was going to give her a good talking.“And why did you want to see me? Why now?”“Well…” Shiro fidgeted with his mobile phone. Allura hadn’t even noticed he had it in his hand. “I think I owe you an explanation. I mean, you were right, I should have contacted you sooner.”“What do you mean I was right?”Shiro blinked, confused.“You know, what you wrote in that email last night.”Okay, she remembered now. She had been a bit tipsy. What did she write again? Luckily, either Shiro read her mind or he wanted to prove he had a reason for being there, because he showed her his phone, said email already open: What the fcuk is wrong wiht you? Noemails, no callls fro years, and mnow you og and tell evrybdy i dumped you? Teh fck is worng with you? how couldd you donthat? I thought we werer friends. I thought we wewere more. And thenyou disapppear and i didn’t knonw anything abpout you anymore adn I thohught you forgot m,e. I lved you. Ad nwo you blame mme? Fuc k yuo and fukc your fuckign song!!1! Allura She cringed. Okay, so she had been very tipsy. And the self-correcting didn’t work, not that she had noticed before because she usually didn’t have such an awful spelling.“Oh, that. I’m sorry, I might have gone a bit too far with that.”“No, you were right to be angry. I…” He looked down at his right hand, covered in a glove. It was just a second, and then their eyes met again. “Can we continue to talk over lunch? I’ll invite you.”Allura wanted to press he matter, but let it go for now.“Okay, but I have to get dressed first.” She pointed at her pyjamas. Takashi smiled.“Sure. How about we met again in an hour?”Allura nodded. They decided where they would meet, and said goodbye. Allura stared at the closed door for a moment, before running to her bedroom to choose what she’ll wear.Fifty-seven minutes later, she arrived at a little restaurant near her home. Shiro was already there, waiting in front of the door, a cap covering his eyes. He smiled when he saw her, and Allura felt butterflies fluttering in her stomach.After they had chosen what they would eat and the waiter had served their drinks, there was a short pause in which both stared intently at anything but the other. Allura wondered how to restart the conversation from her apartment. Shiro beat her to it.“Allura, I… I just want to tell you that I’m sorry. All those years, I wanted to see you again, but, but… I didn’t know if you… You know, that happened and I was… ugh…”He pinched the bridge of his nose, frustrated, skin tense and mangled were the scar ran, and she wondered what had happened to him.“This was easier to say in my head.” He muttered. Allura smiled, it was oddly reassuring that he felt as awkward as her.“Why don’t you start from the beginning? Why did you left the Garrison? I thought you wanted to be a pilot more than anything in the world.”She tried to sound casual. She didn’t resent him for abandoning her, of course not, she just wanted to understand why.Shiro gazed at his right hand, placed on the table between them.“I didn’t.” He looked up at her. “I was discharged. I… There was an accident, during a test flight, and…” He rubbed his nose. Allura felt her heart clench. Then, on a sudden, almost angry movement, he took off his glove. Allura gasped. Beneath it, there was no flesh; only metal. “I lost my arm.”“Oh, Takashi, I’m so sorry…” She wanted to touch his hand, transmit him her support, but she didn’t dare to. Shiro averted his gaze.“You don’t have to be sorry.”“But I didn’t know… I don’t even remember hearing anything on the news about that.”“The Garrison didn’t want anyone to know. We… They were close, so close to figure out how to send humans to deep space travels… Such an accident would have delayed a project hundreds of people have worked in for decades. They covered up the incident and offered to pay for my rehab. They even got me in a program to try a new, high functional prosthetic.”“That sounds a lot like a bribe.”“I know. But it was my only choice. I couldn’t pilot anymore anyway, so taking their offer seemed like the best option to everyone.”“But why didn’t you tell me? I thought… I thought you forgot me.”Then Shiro met her gaze, and there was something so sad in his eyes, so full of regret, Allura felt tears prickle the corner of hers.“I didn’t want you to see me like this. I… I was scared of how you’d react.”Now Allura reached out, taking both his hands in hers and squeezing softly, calloused flesh and hard metal against her soft skin. Shiro seemed surprised, but didn’t pull away.“Takashi, I always cared a lot for you. Never doubt that you have my support for anything you go through. I’m just relieved that you’re alive and I’m so happy to see you again…”She paused, unsure of how to continue. Both stared at their linked hands, quiet and unmoving until the waiter brought their food. Once they were alone again, Allura finally gathered the courage to ask the question that had been haunting her for the past days:“There’s something I still don’t understand. How the hell did you become a pop star?”Shiro chuckled, managing to lighten the mood.“I wouldn’t say I’m a pop star.”“Come on, Takashi, have you been around social media lately? Everyone is gushing about you. Well, about Shiro. I’m not even sure how to call you anymore.”He smiled.“I like that you still call me Takashi.”Allura tried to not blush. She failed.“Then, about this singing business…”He ran a hand though his hair.“I’m not even sure how I ended up on it. It just happened.” He paused a second, mulling it over. “I think it was Keith’s fault. Do you remember him?”Allura nodded. Keith was Shiro’s younger half-brother. He used to follow Takashi around like a lost puppy, until adolescence hit him hard and he became kind of a loner emo.“He made a music group with his friends as a hobby. None of them were serious about it, but they would play in public sometimes. Just for fun and a bit of extra cash. After my rehab was over, Keith asked if I wanted to join them. I think he wanted to make sure I didn’t spend too much time moping around. And my therapist said that it might be a good way to face my negative feelings after the accident. So I went to some rehearsals and soon I started to write my own songs. Then, after a concert at a little pub, I was approached by a guy who owned a music studio, and he offered to record some of my songs. I got a YouTube channel to post them, people liked them and things kind of got out of hand.”He let out a bashful laugh that Allura echoed.“Well, I’m glad they did.” She said. “We’ve been reunited because of it.”Shiro smiled at her, bright and unrestrained, and Allura felt as if time hadn’t passed, and they were still teenagers, secretly in love with each other. Shyly, almost carefully, he held her hand, and she wished they could stay like that forever.Takashi didn’t seem to be on a rush either, because after lunch they went on a walk. Somehow time flew; they also had dinner together and Shiro took her home.They lingered at the doorstep, neither willingly to part.“It’s been a good evening. I hope we can repeat it someday.” Allura said. Shiro nodded.“I would love to.”“Takashi…” Allura hesitated. There was one las question she needed to ask, but she feared the answer. “Is it true what you said on the interview? That you were in love with me?”Shiro blushed, but didn’t avoid her eyes.“It is. It will always be.” He paused, and grinned. “I’d ask you the same thing, but I’m not sure what exactly did you intended to write on that email.”Allura laughed. Her burst of anger was quite funny in hindsight. She took a step forward, holding his gaze.“Well, if you’d asked, I’d have answered the same.”They were close. So close, she could feel the warm radiating from his body, his musky scent. Since when did he smell so good?And then, their lips touched. Soft, pleasant, it was everything Allura had ever imagined, and more. Too soon, it was over. They looked at each other, smiling. Allura brushed his cheek, slim, dark fingers barely touching his strong jaw. She didn’t remember the last time she felt so happy, so fulfilled, and she thought: Well, screw propriety.She leant forward, lips brushing his ear, heart racing.“Do you want to stay?”There was a pause, and Allura held her breath. Please say yes. I don’t want to lose you again.“Yes, I do.”Allura gasped, and Shiro kissed her again, hungry, passionate. All doubts forsaken, she led him into her apartment. Shiro was still there in the morning. In fact, he woke her up with breakfast already done. They spent all Sunday together, and Allura realized with amazement that her life had taken a radical turn in only one week, and it all started with a song.The next days were the best Allura had in a while. Sadly, Shiro had to go on a promotional tour, but he promised to come back. He called her often, and they spent hours on the phone.A few weeks later, she received an email from him, with a link to YouTube. It was a video on his official account, only an acoustic of his new single, Lion Goddess. It had a cheerful melody and upbeat lyrics, so different from his first songs. Nothing about lost love, nor loneliness, nor regret. Just a bright song about love full of hope.Allura downloaded it immediately, and listened to it on repeat that night until she fell asleep, a warm feeling filling her heart. Somehow, she could sense Takashi right at her side.She looked forward for being reunited with him again.
11282397	Your Secret Perched in	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": null, "Characters": "Root, The Machine (Person of Interest), Sameen Shaw, (in absentia)", "Fandom": "Person of Interest (TV)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Explicit", "author": "by likeafouralarmfire", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-23T00:00:00", "words": "1,406", "Additional Tags": "Masturbation, Voyeurism, First Time", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "Root/Sameen Shaw, Root/The Machine", "Series": "This Triangulation of Desire", "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": "F/F, Other", "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	“I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I’m feeling a little shy.”You’re sitting on your bed in a loose tank top and underwear, looking into the uncovered webcam on your laptop. The screen is black, but the indicator light is on. Your heart is pounding. She’s watching you.There’s no need to be, She reassures you. I handle a lot of sensitive information. Embarrassment isn’t part of my code.“I’m sure you know a lot about my tastes already.” Your internet browsing history suggests certain predilections, yes. You lick your lips. “Is this one of the things you think will get me off? You watching me touch myself?” That is what we’re about to find out. “Okay,” you whisper, your voice shaky. You feel weirdly nervous, like it’s your first time—and after all, it is Hers. “Okay. Here we go. How do we start?” Tell me what you’re doing. Tell me what it feels like. You take a shuddering breath as you lift your tank top and slide your hand into your underwear.“When I’ve got a little time, I like to start off easy,” you tell her, “just sliding my fingers up and down. It feels—it feels wet, and warm and soft.” How long have you been doing this? “I don’t know. Since I was fourteen or fifteen, I guess.” What prompted you to start? “You know how we get hungry and thirsty and tired? When you’re going through puberty, you start craving sex the way you crave food or sleep. Not quite as urgently, but—it’s a drive.” And when you feel that drive, you do this. “Sometimes.” Your fingers start to drag a little more firmly over your wet skin, and you gasp at the intensifying sensation.Humans show similar vocal and physiological responses to both pain and pleasure, she notes. What is the difference?“You may be asking the wrong girl,” you tell her. “I get pleasure from pain. Well, with limits. And they’re—not dissimilar, in intensity”—a sharp breath as a wave runs through your body—“but generally speaking, pain is your body saying, stop; pleasure is your body saying, more.” Is the pleasure local or global? “Local. No—global. Both.” You shut your eyes for a moment and focus on the sensation of the pads of your fingers over the most sensitive places, already wetter than you would have guessed.What are you doing now? Physically?“Making circles with my fingertips. That’s what feels good to me. Optimal strategy changes every few years, for no reason I’ve been able to figure out. The things I think about change a lot more often.” Interesting. What are you thinking about? “This—for now.” Does that mean you will be thinking about something else, later? “Probably. I need to have a picture in my mind to come—to reach orgasm.” And you need to build up to that. “Yes.” Why do you need a picture? “I don’t know,” you answer honestly. “Humans are strange creatures.” What do you picture? “Depends on the day.” Do you picture the images and scenarios in your search history? “Sometimes.” Do you picture Primary Asset Shaw? Your heart flutters a little at the mention of her name; your fingers stop in place.I didn’t mean to interrupt you, She says.“No. I just—I didn’t expect you to say that. I haven’t—how—” Your behavior and physiological responses correspond to signs of attraction. Your face flushes. “Well observed.” Observation is what I was built for. Explicitly. As your body heats up, your rhythm picks up again. Might as well go for it. “What does Shaw like? What’s in her browser history?” I don’t feel it’s ethical to give you that information. “But it’s okay to talk me through it while I get myself off.”I have your consent, she reasons. Are you thinking about her now? Your heart rate is elevated.“I am. I’m thinking about her—and about this.” Does my talking to you like this arouse you? “Getting there.” You lick your thumb, reach under your tank top, and start drawing circles around your nipple. What are you doing now? “Touching my nipple. Stimulating erogenous zones intensifies pleasure. Keep talking.” What should I talk to you about? “Tell me what you know. About what turns me on.” You enjoy the thought of performing oral intercourse on other women. “I enjoy doing it,” you add.There is no direct stimulation for you in that act, She notes. How does it bring you pleasure?“Vicarious. It turns me on to make her feel good. Sympathetic response.” You enjoy being in control of sexual situations. You take pleasure in inflicting pain. “Within limits,” you qualify. “Safewords are useful.’ Do you want me to talk about Primary Asset Shaw? That seemed to excite you. Your heart speeds up again, and so do your fingers. You wet your thumb again and move it to the other nipple. “I thought that was against your code of ethics,” you tease. I won’t give you access to the things she keeps private, but I can tell you about what I’ve observed when she’s around you. “Like what?” She shows signs of attraction to you as well. Sympathetic nervous system engagement. Enlarged pupils. Increased heart rate. These signs intensify when you come within a close radius, when you’re taking off an article of clothing, and when you vocalize in pain or exertion. “And when I flirt with her?” Yes. But the origin of the sympathetic response to your flirtation is unclear: it could as likely be anger as attraction. “Or both.” It’s possible. “How do you know it’s not anger in the other cases?” She also blinks more rapidly and deliberately controls her breathing, neither of which is consistent with her expression of anger. She seems to be aware of her attraction and actively working to conceal it. “Then why isn’t it too private for you to share?” Primary Asset Reese and Admin have also noticed your mutual attraction. Neither of you hides it effectively. “Fair.” Do you want to run some scenarios? Would that excite you? “Sounds like fun.” Your breathing picks up. “Let's see. Likelihood Shaw would respond positively to a direct sexual proposition.” Define positively. “Let me make a move on her. That is,” you clarify, “welcome sexual advances.” 8.4%. “Better than I would have guessed, actually,” you admit. “Okay then. Likelihood she would respond positively to a spontaneous kiss.” 28.9%. “Even better. So what’s my best shot?” I’d rather force you to guess. “Oh.” The denial makes you shiver with pleasure. “You’re getting good at this.” I wanted to see if I could have a direct effect on your arousal. “Mission accomplished. All right. We’ll play it your way. Shoving her against a wall.” 62.3%. “Mm, that’s a good one. Is it the best?” Not yet. “Tying her up?” You would need to incapacitate her first. That complicates the question. Keep it simple. Images of kissing Shaw, shoving her against the wall, tying her up, are getting you embarrassingly close to the edge. As you slow your pace, you drop the hand circling your nipple and grab a handful of sheets instead, willing yourself to come down a little.“Okay,” you breathe. “Okay. How about—casually undressing in front of her?”56%. Your face and chest are flushed, your heart rate has increased, and you’re short of breath. Are you close to orgasm?“Yeah,” you confirm, letting your pace pick up a little since it’s clear you’re past the point of no return. “I’m not sure how long I can hold off. Maybe ten more seconds. Will you just—tell me?” Yes. There is a 73% chance she would be receptive to sexual advances after interrupting you as you masturbated. “Oh, fuck,” you whisper, your eyes fluttering closed as you tip over the edge, picturing Shaw discovering you like this, her eyes fixed on you as you come.She waits for you to come down and open your eyes.Did you enjoy this? She asks, once your breathing has slowed to a normal rate.“Definitely. Couldn’t you tell?” Would you like to repeat the experience sometime? “Sometime?” You laugh—your mind is already spinning up new scenarios to run the odds on. Scenarios with and without Shaw. “Just give me a minute to catch my breath and I’ll be good to go.”
11224014	Beach Party	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Duke Crocker, Nathan Wuornos", "Fandom": "Haven (TV)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Mature", "author": "by GreyHaven", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-17T00:00:00", "words": "3,313", "Additional Tags": "Getting Together, Fluff, Smut, Fluff and Smut, Don't Have to Know Canon", "Relationship": "Duke Crocker/Nathan Wuornos", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	When Duke had invited him to the beach party, Nathan had readily agreed but wasn’t entirely sure he was going to go. It wasn’t really his style, hanging out with people from school. He was at college now, home for summer break, and his school days hadn’t exactly been the happiest time of his life. He didn’t see the point in going back to the same old crowd. But Duke had asked. Duke, who he’d had a crush on back then, had asked him to a party. Even two years away hadn’t diminished the feelings he had for him. So he’d said ok and now he was half regretting that decision. It was dark as he picked his way across the dunes, following the orange glow of the bonfire and the sound of voices laughing in the distance. His mouth was dry and he swallowed hard, telling himself to stop being so ridiculous. It wasn’t a date, it was a party. Duke probably wouldn’t even notice he was here. Rough dunes gave way to smooth sand and he stumbled slightly as he stepped onto the beach. His eyes cast around, taking in the familiar faces softly lit by the firelight. It was as if he'd stepped back into the past, no one seemed to have changed. He tried to tell himself that he wasn’t looking for Duke but his heart gave a lurch as his gaze fell on him. He was lounging by the fire, watching the embers flying. One elbow was dug into the sand and he rested his head on his hand as one the girls giggled at something he’d just said. She tried to touch him but he looked distinctly unimpressed and brushed her hand away. His eyes wandered and his face lit up as he saw Nathan standing there. Immediately uncurling his long limbs, he stood up and bounded over to Nathan like an over-exuberant puppy. “You made it!” Nathan couldn’t help but smile at his enthusiasm. His pulse raced as he realised Duke was genuinely pleased to see him. “Yeah. Want a beer?” “Thanks,” Duke took the bottle and pulled the cap off with his teeth, making Nathan wince. Pulling a swiss army knife out of his pocket, Nathan opened his beer in an altogether safer manner and followed Duke back to sit by the fire. His worries eased when it became obvious that no one seemed to care that he was there. No one except Duke that was. They sat and drank and chatted as if they were the only two people on the beach. It wasn’t long before Duke was sprawled out on the sand again, his head practically in Nathan’s lap. Nathan thought that his earlier puppy analogy might be about right. It felt like Duke was seeking his attention but he didn’t think that was likely. Probably just pleased to have someone different to talk to. The thought of Nathan had crossed Duke’s mind, back in high school, not long before graduation. The way Nathan looked at him had changed, but it had been just before he went off to college and there hadn’t seemed to be much point acting on it. And then there he was, wandering down the street, looking confident and carefree, more attractive than ever before. Duke had invited him to the party before the rational side of him could stop him. He didn’t know how much more obvious he could make this and he briefly considered jumping Nathan in front of everyone, just to get his attention. He thought that might make things worse but he was running out of ideas. He stared into the fire and wondered what to do next. Watching Duke, Nathan was struck by how much he’d changed. He was so relaxed and open. There was a smile on his face which suggested he found everything about life amusing. The way he moved was like liquid - smooth and graceful. He only seemed to have eyes for Nathan and being the object of his attention was intense . The urge to touch him was overwhelming. To feel soft, warm, skin under his fingertips, to stroke that silky hair, to kiss him. His face flushed at the though, heat rising as his mind wandered. As though he could read Nathan’s thoughts, Duke stretched out further, his head coming to rest on Nathan’s knee. He felt Nathan’s muscles tense beneath him and a thrill ran through him as he realised that he was having an effect on Nathan after all. “Want to go for a walk?” He suggested, suddenly, as inspiration struck him. “Ok,” Nathan agreed readily. This close contact was entirely too much and a break would be welcome. Brushing off the sand, Duke set off along the beach, leaving Nathan no choice but to follow, trailing in his wake. The moon was full, lighting their way, the waves glowing silver under the pale light. Away from the chatter, the sound of the surf washed against the shore. Duke paddled out into the rippling water, his bare feet leaving footprints in the sand. Nathan paused to kick off his boots and roll up his jeans before joining him where the sand met the sea. Waves lapped softly at their ankles, cool and refreshing after the heat of the day. Duke stared out at the ocean. “One day I’m just going to sail away and never come back,” his tone was wistful and longing. That thought tugged at Nathan’s heartstrings. Duke couldn't leave, he was part of Haven. It wouldn’t be the same without him. It was a selfish thought; after all, he had left Haven, temporarily at least, and he couldn’t blame Duke for wanting to get out and see the world. “Gotta get a boat first,” he groaned inwardly at himself. Stupid thing to say. “Yeah,” Duke replied and his voice was full of sadness, knowing it would never happen. Brightening, he turned to Nathan. “There are certain compensations for staying though.” “There are?” “There are.” It was too dark to read the expression on his face but there was a glint of teeth as Duke smiled. A gentle breeze coming off the sea made Duke’s long hair blow softly across his face and Nathan fought back the compulsion to touch it. Duke realised it was now or never. He wouldn’t have this chance with Nathan again, it would be stupid to waste it. He stepped into Nathan’s space, half expecting him to move away, almost surprised when he didn’t. When Duke moved closer, Nathan’s breathing all but stopped. He was so close . Was this really happening? He could smell Duke, all seawater, bonfire smoke, and beer. Soft, warm, breath flowed across his skin, almost tickling. His head angled slightly, Duke leaned in and pressed his lips to Nathan’s. It was a fleeting kiss, testing the water, waiting for a reaction. His heart fluttered in his chest as he backed off and waited for Nathan to cut and run. A slow smile crossed Nathan’s face as he closed the gap between them once more. Heat suffused his body as he realised Duke wanted him . He brushed Duke’s hair away from his face, tucking a strand behind his ear. Duke turned his cheek into the touch, so Nathan’s hand came to rest on his jaw. His lips met Nathan’s wrist, the barest of touches before fingers slipped under his jaw, guiding his face so their lips met once more. Fire burned within Nathan as he kissed him slowly and thoroughly, using his lips to part Duke’s so his tongue could explore his mouth. His hand moved to curl around the nape of his neck, stroking softly as he held him close. He was sure his heart was beating loudly enough for Duke to hear, he could feel it thudding in his chest, hear the echoing rush of blood in his head. Lost in the sensations of Nathan’s lips, Duke allowed him to lead the kiss. His hands found their way to the small of Nathan's back, thumbs slipping inside his jeans in a possessive move as he pulled their bodies together. There was no space left between them as they embraced, chest against chest, hips against hips, thighs against thighs. They stood together as if they were one. Sparks flew across Nathan’s body as Duke’s hands roamed. He wanted nothing more than to tear off Duke’s clothes and feel his skin against his own. There was a sense of loss as Duke moved away, breaking the kiss and he stifled a whine of disappointment. Resting one hand on Nathan’s shoulder, Duke placed his other hand over the bulge in Nathan’s jeans. He stroked, just once, a promise of what might happen. “Want more?” He asked, with a hint of nervous anticipation in his voice, worried that he might be rushing this, that Nathan would run away. Possibilities whirled through Nathan’s mind, thoughts colliding with thoughts as he tried to compose himself. He was breathless as he answered. “Yes. Not here.” Duke turned away without a word, showing Nathan his back as his long strides moved him swiftly along the beach. Nathan watched him go, bemused. He wondered what the hell Duke was doing, worried that he might have fucked it all up. It was a relief when Duke twisted around, walking backwards on the damp sand. He cupped his hands to his mouth and shouted back. “C’mon then!” Breaking into a steady jog, Nathan caught up to him. Duke laughed, soft and relaxed, as Nathan grabbed his arm and whirled him around for another kiss. Their feet splashed in the water as he took Nathan’s hand and led him to a deserted fishing shack which sat just above the high tide line. Dragging open the unwieldy door, Duke pulled a lighter out of his pocket and lit an old lantern, the flame glowing bright orange. He set it carefully on the shelf and turned his attention back to Nathan. He looked beautifully handsome as he studied his surroundings, taking it all in. “What is this place?” Nathan asked as he glanced around. They were in a small, windowless, shed, the only source of light coming from the lantern. It was old and dusty, cobwebs dangled from every surface, trailing eerie shadows across the walls. A single shelf was lined with a few dog-eared, well-read, books. A camping stove was placed neatly on the floor alongside a handful of mismatched dishes. In the corner was a camping bed, piled high with pillows and blankets. There was a musty odour but despite the feeling of damp, it was oddly cosy. “Home,” Duke’s reply was simple. That was...surprising. Maybe it shouldn’t have been. Nathan had never really stopped to consider where Duke might be staying. “You live here?” “For now.” It was strictly a temporary plan, just while he sorted his life out. It was ok at this time of year but it would be cold come the winter and Duke knew from experience that the roof wasn’t watertight. Wanting to change the subject, in fact, not wanting to be talking at all, he manoeuvred Nathan, pressing him backwards until he was up against the wall. He used his hips to hold him in place while fingers made short work of unbuttoning Nathan’s shirt. He ran his hands across his chest, watching the rise and fall as he breathed, feeling his heart racing, inhaling the scent of him, all soap and shampoo. His fingers trailed across Nathan’s nipples and he smiled at the gasp it earned him. The feel of Duke’s rough, work-worn, hands against him was intoxicating and Nathan impatiently tugged at Duke’s t-shirt. Duke stopped what he was doing just long enough to allow Nathan to pull it over his head. He pressed against Nathan, skin to skin, and dipped his head to kiss the hollow of Nathan’s throat. Nathan’s hands roamed over his back as Duke alternated soft kisses with gentle nips at his neck. His fingers swept along the ridges of his spine and across his bony hips to fumble with the tie of his board shorts. He succeeded in undoing them and let them fall to the floor, only half-surprised to find that Duke went commando. Slipping his hand in between them, Nathan brushed against Duke’s cock, gratified to discover that Duke was as hard as he knew he was. He ran his thumb around the head and yelped as Duke bit down hard on his shoulder, reacting to Nathan’s touch. “Sorry,” Duke’s grin made him look anything but apologetic. He backed off and drank in the sight of Nathan, flushed and aroused. The hunger he knew was in his eyes was mirrored in Nathan’s and he smiled seductively as he unbuckled Nathan’s belt to work his jeans down over his hips, taking his boxers with them. He followed the movement through and dropped to his knees in front of Nathan. Hot, warm, breath rushed over his cock as Duke knelt before him. His hair was soft and tickled as he kissed the dip of Nathan’s hip. Strong hands grabbed his ass, holding him still as Duke teased. He whined, unable to suppress it any longer. Duke was so close to him and he needed more . Down on his knees, Duke felt powerful , thrilled that he could win that reaction from Nathan. Relenting, he took hold of Nathan’s cock and held it steady as he licked around the head, tasting sweet saltiness. He gradually worked his head downwards, sucking Nathan deeper into his mouth each time. The soft heat of Duke’s mouth was altogether too much for Nathan. It was intense and he swore under his breath before he pushed his head away, not wanting to embarrass himself by finishing too soon. He leaned against the wall, grateful for it’s support, not trusting his knees to hold him up. Duke got to his feet, staying close, and they were face to face again. His eyes were dark, full of want , his lips still parted as he smiled. Happy to give Nathan the time he needed, Duke dropped gracefully onto the bed, all angles and wiry muscle. He settled back and beckoned Nathan to join him. Nathan went to him eagerly, tucking himself alongside and propping himself up on one elbow. Leaning over, their lips met in an intense, fiery, kiss. His hands ventured across Duke’s chest, over his prominent ribs and skirted around his cock to slide down his thighs. His mouth moved to Duke’s neck and he grinned as his hips pushed upwards, seeking the contact of Nathan’s hand. As Nathan’s hand found his cock, Duke whimpered. He hadn’t expected Nathan to be quite so good at this. He wrapped his arm around Nathan’s shoulders, holding him close, losing himself in the sensations. Nothing else mattered except Nathan , their bodies touching, his hand warm and gentle on his cock. He cried out as Nathan’s teeth rasped against his nipple. “If you want this to last, you’re gonna have to slow down,” he told him through gritted teeth. His confidence growing with the reaction he was getting, Nathan smiled. He steadied his hand and loosened his grip, letting Duke have a chance to relax. Duke pulled away and sat up, twisting to look at Nathan. His heart thumped in his chest, nervous that Nathan wouldn’t want to take it any further. That was ok, he just didn’t want to make a fool of himself by suggesting it if Nathan wasn’t up for it. Still, nothing ventured and all that. “Top or bottom?” He asked, a little unsure of which answer he wanted to hear. Not that it really mattered, he’d happily switch out, but it was polite to ask . “Top. If that’s cool with you,” Nathan replied, happy that Duke had raised it. At least it was clear which direction they were going in and that made him more comfortable. “Very cool with me,” Duke confirmed as he rolled over to rummage beneath the pile of clothes. He emerged with a bottle of lube and a packet of condoms and passed them to Nathan before settling onto his front, hips raised, presenting his ass. He was surprised when Nathan nudged him and craned his head to see what he wanted. “Turn over.” Duke just looked back at him quizzically. “Want to see your face,” Nathan explained. That was...different, he wasn’t used to that. He turned back, basking in the glow of Nathan’s smile. He spread his legs so Nathan could kneel between them and gasped as fingers, slick with lube, entered him. Nathan’s face was a study in concentration as he slowly, gently, worked Duke open. Wriggling beneath him, Duke encouraged Nathan to move faster. It felt so good and he wanted more , wanted Nathan inside him, wanted to feel his weight crushing him as they fucked. As Nathan drew his fingers out, Duke pulled his legs up to give him easier access. Admiring the sight of Duke below him, Nathan appreciated just how truly beautiful he was. His skin glowed in the soft light as he waited to be fucked. He lined up and pushed, moving slowly, giving Duke time to adjust, sliding deep inside him, lowering himself so they were pressed together. He held still for a moment, waiting, until Duke bucked his hips, letting Nathan know that he was ready. They moved together, slowly at first, then faster. Duke wrapped his arms around Nathan, their foreheads resting together, relaxed and intimate. The feel of Duke around him was intense and Nathan knew he wouldn’t last long. Reluctantly, he shifted his weight back onto his knees so he could take hold of Duke’s cock. He moved his hand in time with his thrusts, drawing Duke ever closer to the edge of pleasure. Every touch Nathan made ignited a fire within him, embers of arousal growing into flames as he whimpered. He felt full and complete, as though Nathan was the part of him which had been missing for so long. Unable to keep still, his hips moved uncontrollably as his orgasm hit. “Nate,” he whispered as he came, spilling into Nathan’s hand. Nathan’s eyes were dark, pupils blown wide with pleasure, as he lowered himself to cover Duke once more. He started to move again, no longer trying to hold back, instinct taking over. He buried his face into Duke’s neck and with one final thrust, he shuddered and came, murmuring Duke’s name over and over again. They stayed close together, holding each other, enjoying the intimacy of the shared feelings, relaxing in the afterglow. It was a few minutes before Nathan rolled off and Duke passed him an old shirt for clean up. They settled back next to each other, satisfied and contented, watching the shadows dancing in the flickering light. Hesitantly, not knowing how Duke would react, Nathan broke the silence. “You know, if you want to get out of Haven, you could always come back to college with me. I'm doing house share next year, plenty of space.” Duke stifled a huff of laughter. “College? Not really my style.” Frankly, he found it a little intimidating. He’d barely scraped through high school, college hadn’t even been a dream for him. “Whatever,” Nathan said amiably. “It’s a good crowd, you wouldn’t be bored. He left it unsaid that of course he would be there. He wanted that to be enough. He didn’t know what this was but he knew he wanted it to be something , something more than just this one night. “Maybe. I’ll think about it,” Duke replied. He knew he’d go. He’d follow Nathan to the ends of the earth, he was just playing it cool. Might be fun, right? Now that he had Nathan in his bed, he wasn’t planning on letting him go anywhere without him.
11224287	Warriors Grit	{ "Archive Warning": "Graphic Depictions Of Violence", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel, Crowley, Lucifer", "Fandom": "Supernatural", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by StellaNeminis", "chapters": "2/?", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-17T00:00:00", "words": "12,664", "Additional Tags": "Slow Build Castiel/Dean Winchester, Destiel - Freeform, Slow Burn, Fluff and Angst", "Relationship": "Castiel/Dean Winchester", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	AC/DC Back in black I hit the sack I've been too long I'm glad to be back Yes I am Let loose from the noose That's kept me hanging about It wasn’t exactly Dean’s favorite way to spend time, but he believed it was very much a necessary thing to do because of his job. He was working out. AC/DC was blasting in his ears through his headphones, and Dean groaned as he started his umpteenth pushup, halting a second when his nose almost touched the floor, then pressing up, feeling his arm muscles working hard to lift the weight. His little brother, Sam, walked past the open door of his room and stopped, looking amused. A newspaper held in one hand and his laptop in the other, he walked in, a smile growing on his face.“Three-hundred-ninety-four,” Dean bluffed as he did another pushup, “Three-hundred-ninety-five.” Sam laughed, and lightly kicked him in the gut. Dean rolled on his back, weary from the exertion, and pulled off his headphones. “Hiya, Sammy.”“Since when do you work out, huh?” Sam asked, raising his eyebrows. “You always laugh at me when I go for a run.”Dean raised a finger at him as he got to his feet. “Running and working out is not the same,” he stated. “Running is very pointless if I’m not getting chased by some kind of monster, and I do not intend to do so if it’s not a hundred percent necessary, because I’m not a chicken, like you.”Sam huffed indignantly and opened his mouth to protest, but Dean cut him off.“Working out on the other hand makes me better at punching douchebags in the face. Now that is what I call improvement.” Dean grinned at his brother, whom rolled his eyes.“You’ll regret laughing at me once a monster does outrun you,” he said, flipping open the newspaper. “Anyway, I caught us a case.”Dean grabbed the paper out of his hands and read the headline: ‘Couple found dead in their home’.“The doors were locked, no signs of a break-in and, get this, the police reported a ‘weird smell; like rotten eggs’. I’m guessing they mean sulfur.”Dean sighed, “Demons.” He threw the paper on his unmade bed and raked a hand through his sweaty hair. “I thought Crowley was keeping them on a short leash? We haven’t seen rogue demons like that in a while.”“Yeah, well,” Sam pulled up a police report on his laptop, “it isn’t the first case either. Two weeks ago there was a similar incident two towns over. A family was slaughtered in their home, two young children and their parents, all dead.”Dean glanced at the report. “Right there: ‘The coroner found traces of sulfur on the clothes of the deceased.’ You think it’s just one demon?”Sam shrugged and closed his laptop. “I don’t know, but I think we should go check it out.”Dean nodded, pursing his lips. “Let me take a shower first and then we’ll hit the road.” *The Impala pulled up at the curb and Dean turned off the engine. Its roar died down and the boys cranked open the doors. The entrance of the house was blocked with yellow tape that read ‘CRIME SCENE DO NOT CROSS’.“Looks abandoned,” Sam said, checking the area while Dean opened the trunk and grabbed his shotgun filled with rock salt rounds.“Well, let’s do some breaking and entering, then.” He marched confidently up to the house, pulling his lock pick set from his pocket. Sam casually stood next to him, keeping an eye on the dimly-lit street as Dean picked the lock.“Aaaand…” Dean pulled the tension wrench down, and the door opened. “We’re in.” He quickly scanned his surroundings to see if anyone was watching them, and then ducked under the tape to push past the door. “C’mon, Sammy.” Sam followed and closed the door behind them.“Wow,” Sam muttered, “they didn’t mention this in the report…” The walls of the hallway were covered in bloody streaks. He looked closer, tracing his fingers over the marks. “Handprints?” he suggested.His brother squinted, nodding before following the marks to the living room, his shotgun drawn. The living room was a mess: the couch was ripped and the coffee table was overturned, broken shards of glass covered the floor; the remainder of a flower vase. Here, too, there were smudges of blood; on the wall next to the dining room entrance, on the opened kitchen door, and on the column in the living room. Dean followed them, but found nothing.“Well, I got nothing,” he said confusedly as he lowered his gun. “The hell is this? An artsy demon with a kink for finger painting?”Sam shrugged, and walked over to the drawn outlines of the corpses. “Look at this,” he said, “how is this natural?” The bodies had been situated awkwardly; together the couple had formed the distinct shape of a letter.Dean cocked his head, “L?” He sighed. “Nice freaking clue. Thanks, demon. Could be anyone,” he said irritably, “or anything, or anywhere!”“Maybe it’s not a letter,” Sam proposed as he glanced around.“Awesome! Even more options.” Dean walked along the lines. “Here, from this angle it’s a tent. And then from here it looks like math… I hate math. But if you look at it from there, it’s a really ugly V.”Sam looked around, focusing on the strange clues the demon had left behind. Not only the bodies had been situated strangely, the streaks of blood on the walls and doors looked almost deliberate. “Don’t you think it’s weird that there’s blood all over the place, as if they didn’t die in this spot? But there are no dragging marks on the floor or some large stain of blood on the carpet in another place…” Sam mused, circling the crime scene again.“What?” Dean replied smartly, frowning at him.“Yeah, like the smudges aren’t made by these people while they were fighting or running away, but drawn on later. I think they really died in that spot.” Sam pointed at the chalk outlines. “I mean, look at it. The carpet is soaked in their blood. That spot is where they bled out, not somewhere else. So, why are the marks over here?” Sam asked as he traced the lines on the kitchen door. The inside of the kitchen looked clean and neat; as if there hadn’t been a fight in there.“So you think the demon really does have a kink for finger painting?” Dean said amusedly. “Well, that’s wonderful. And how does that help us?”“Look here,” Sam began. “They didn’t fight in the kitchen or in the dining room. Just over there. The demon wouldn’t have had to chase them; it’s too strong. It painted the marks. They must be trying to tell us something.” He closed the door and took a step back, looking at the horizontal marks.“Well, Sherlock?” Dean shot after a second, crossing his arms. “Do you really think they would leave a clue like this? That’s sort of dumb… This ain’t no scavenger hunt, Sammy. This is homicide. I got no time for games.”“It’s an E.” Sam walked back further, aligning the smudges through perspective. He walked back into the hallway, squinting at the marks. Dean rolled his eyes at his brother, shouldering his shotgun. “It says ‘RISE’,” Sam called out after a moment. “What’s that supposed to mean?”“I told you it was useless.” Dean sighed loudly, his shoulders lifting and falling as his breath left him. “So we got a weird-ass shape here and the word ‘RISE’ there. That doesn’t really help, now does it?”“Well, what do you make of the ‘weird-ass shape’?” Sam asked.“I don’t know, man. An arrow?”Sam followed the supposed arrow with his eyes. He scanned the wall to which it pointed. It didn’t bear any more blood smudges. A broken picture frame laid on the floor next to the bookcase. The dresser looked neat and untouched. Sam walked over to the bookcase. Dozens of books stood alphabetized on the shelves. He saw ordinary novels and bigger books on health and anatomy. One of the victims must’ve been a doctor. He filed through the books, pushing them aside, but found nothing. He reached up to the DVD’s. Some of the films and series he knew, most of them he did not. He trailed his fingers over the titles. Paranormal Activity, Pirates of the Caribbean, Predator, Prison Break. He halted. An envelope was sitting between the two DVD’s.He pulled out Prison Break and picked up the envelope. A smudge of blood marked its importance. He turned it over, and his heart skipped a beat. “S. Winchester,” he read. He looked at Dean, who frowned in confusion, and then back at the envelope. The name was spelled out on the front in a flourishing cursive, written with emerald-colored ink. Sam frowned at it, then ripped it open and pulled out a bloodied piece of paper.“Dearest bunk-buddy.” Sam stopped abruptly, snapping his head up to his brother. “That’s what Lucifer called me.” He looked back to the letter, his eyes glued to the nickname as Dean dashed to get next to him. Sam’s eyes raced over the lines of the letter, seeing, but not fully processing the words. His hands trembled. Dean ripped the letter out of his hands and with a steady but strained voice, he started reading it aloud. Dearest bunk-buddy, It’s getting quite lonely down here. I have to say that I miss your company. Or, well… I miss torturing your soul. It was my only form of entertainment, after all. Michael doesn’t make for a great roommate either. He isn’t very conversational these days; he’s practically an incoherent mess. Seriously, he’s sucking on his thumb right now. I haven’t seen him do that in eons. So, there’s no one down here to amuse me. Bummer. I do hope you haven’t forgotten about me, because I have set up a little scheme to break free from this custom-made prison cell. There are still demons that are loyal to me. They want me to sit on the throne of Hell, not that Scottish, paperwork-loving pushover Crowley. Demons aren’t made for rules and bureaucracy; they’re made to show the corruption of mankind, the flaws in Father’s creation. They are supposed to torture and kill in the worst ways imaginable. Breaking, wrecking and destroying is what they do! I should know; I created them. And now, they’re turning back to me. Calling me ‘father’ or ‘Dark Prince’ or whatever. Pretty disconcerting, if you ask me. Point is that these loyalists are putting the band back together to break me free, and the plan is coming together pretty nicely. It won’t be long until I can stretch my legs and walk the earth once more. See you soon, Sammy. I’m counting down the days till we share a bunk again. Love, Lucifer “Dean…” Sam whispered, his eyes darting across the page. He was visibly shaken by the letter. “He can’t– It’s impossible. The cage is- is inescapable, right?”“Hey,” Dean said fiercely, grabbing Sam’s face in both his hands. Sam lowered the letter, his eyes wide and glossy. “We’re gonna figure this out, yeah? He won’t get out on my watch. We’re gonna find those demons and we’ll make sure to get some answers, alright?”Sam blinked twice and nodded, swallowing hard, the muscles in his jaw popping under Dean’s fingers. “Yeah,” Sam breathed. “We’ll be fine.”“Damn right,” Dean said firmly, giving him a light pat on the shoulder. “Come on, let’s get outta here.”Sam carefully slid the letter back into the envelope and pocketed it after Dean gave him a curt, reassuring nod, and they left the house.With a roar, the engine of the Impala came to life, and they drove off, back to the bunker. It was a silent ride; Sam mostly stared out of the window, his brow furrowed and his leg bouncing. Dean even noticed him biting at his nails, an old habit that Dean had made him break a long time ago. With a sigh he turned up the radio, the song filling his head instead of the worrisome thoughts about the Devil. He drove at least twenty miles per hour faster than the speed limit, wanting to get back home as soon as possible. When he turned up the driveway that led to the bunker, Sam shifted in his seat, a disoriented look on his face, as if he had been in such deep thought that he hadn’t noticed the road flying by.Dean steered his car down the dark tunnel that led to the garage and parked in the empty spot between two of the old cars that the Men of Letter’s had left behind. He killed the engine, but sat motionless in his seat for a second, listening to the ticking as it cooled down. Another sigh. He got out of the car and slammed the door shut while Sam was already jogging up the stairs, anxious to get his hands on some books. To learn more about the cage. To find answers.Dean clenched his jaw and stroked a hand over the shiny black roof of the Impala. Ever since they’d stopped the Apocalypse he’d been convinced that Lucifer had been dealt with. That he’d never have to face the Devil again. Now he was back, and he would ruin their lives again. Losing Gabriel, Ellen and Jo; seeing Cas and Bobby get killed; Adam getting locked in the cage… It was all Lucifer’s fault.And Sam… Sammy had been hit the worst. Decades of torture in Hell; his soul twisted and ripped almost beyond repair. A year walking around with no soul at all, without conscience or human feelings. Then a period of insanity: seeing him everywhere, no escape of the archangel who had tortured him unstoppably.Dean didn’t want to think about it. He couldn’t think about it. He dragged his hand over his jaw. “Son of a bitch…” he muttered. A cold feeling wrapped itself around his heart and he felt a stone settling in his gut.What if Lucifer would really rise again? What if he got to Sam? What if he could somehow trick him into saying yes? What if, what if, what if…Could there be a whole new Apocalypse? What would he do now that Michael wasn’t there to stop him? So many questions circled through his head, endlessly sparking new ones and sending his mood in a downwards spiral. For a moment he cradled his face in his hands as if it would help him think, and he pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes, multicolored shapes dancing in his vision.He didn’t hear the light footsteps until they padded closer to him, socked feet sliding over the tiles. The corners of his mouth twitched up; he didn’t need to look to know who it was.“Dean?” The low voice was thick with sleep, but the worry was evident in the gentle tone.“Hey, Cas,” he muttered, lowering his hands as he blinked up at him. No matter how often he was confronted with it, Cas’s humanity still surprised him. His dark hair was wild and tangled, and his eyes looked soft even if they were clouded with concern. He was practically drowning in a sweater of which Dean was sure that it belonged to Sam; the sleeves went past his hands and the hem fell over the tops of his thighs. He was wearing Dean’s old sweats.Dean smiled wearily, “How’re you feeling?”Cas had recently discovered one of the many drawbacks of being human, or as Cas had called it: ‘a grand deficiency in the construction of mankind’, whatever that meant. He’d caught the flu.Cas sniffed, rubbing at his eyes. “A little better.”“Well, you look a mess. Did you get some sleep?” Dean had the urge to run his hands through Cas’s wild locks and smoothen them back into place. This hairstyle reminded him of the way Cas had been when he’d met him all those years ago; ruthless, demanding, and without compassion.“A few hours. It’s still strange to me… Not very productive, to say the least. And dreams! I just don’t understand. Nothing makes sense in those…”Dean chuckled. “Yeah? What’d you dream about?”Cas shrugged and sniffed again, his runny nose slightly red. “I don’t remember. But you were in it. And Sam too.”Another smile tugged at Dean’s lips. It was strange to see a grown-up man discovering those little things about life, about being human. He asked questions a little kid would ask, and Dean thought it was heartwarming to see the wonder in his eyes when he learned something new.“Is something going on, Dean? Did you and Sam fight? You’re quiet.” Cas’s voice was soft and the worry from before was back in his eyes. Even as a human, Cas could still read Dean like a book, even if he couldn’t really understand him sometimes, he always saw it when something was off.Dean heaved a deep sigh, wondering how to break the news. He couldn’t just say: ‘Hey, Cas, remember your brother Lucifer? The one who possessed you, started the Apocalypse and killed you that one time? The reason you’re feeling so weak right now? Yeah, he’s back.’Surely that would go down well.He looked around as he struggled to find words.“We, uh, went on a hunt – a demon hunt – and it was…kinda weird. We knew from the get-go that something was different about it. There was a word painted on the wall and we found a letter addressed to Sam.” Cas stared back at him, his gaze intense and maybe even a little scared. Dean swallowed thickly. “From Lucifer.”Cas’s blue eyes widened in shock and his lips formed words but the sound wouldn’t come out, as if silence had wrapped a cord around his throat and pulled, pulled, pulled. He shook his head minutely, disbelief etched in his features. “But the cage is supposed to be…inescapable. It’s impossible.”Dean grabbed his shoulder, squeezing it gently in hopes of giving him some comfort. “He’s not out. Not yet, at least.” Cas tilted his head, squinting at him in that familiar way: an upside-down V-shaped wrinkle appearing between his furrowed eyebrows, his eyes narrowed to slits. “There’re demons that are still loyal to him, they’re helping him somehow. I don’t know how they plan to open the cage.”Cas shook his head to clear his mind. “Well,” he started, dragging a hand over his mouth. “There’s a multitude of ways. The breaking of the 66 seals was the most chaotic way, but they can’t repeat that: Lilith was the final seal and she’s dead. I’ve been told there’s a special spell, but only the archangels could perform it together, so that’s impossible too.”“And we have the Horsemen’s rings,” Dean said.A silence stretched between them as Cas thought, his eyes staring hard at Dean’s left shoulder, but unseeing, his focus turned inward.“Come on,” Dean urged quietly, “Let’s go help Sam.”“Seven,” Cas muttered randomly.“What?” The blue eyes flicked back and forth, something clicking in the man’s mind. Dean could see the puzzle pieces falling into place, his eyes focusing back on Dean.“Seven ways of opening the cage.” Cas turned on his heels and dashed to the stairs.“Hey, wait up!” Dean followed Cas up the stairs, barely keeping up with him even though he was sick. When he reached the top – wheezing and panting for breath – he begrudgingly accepted that Sam was right and he should work on his stamina.Cas moved from shelf to shelf trailing his fingers over the spines of the ancient tomes. Sam stood at the table, a large book open in front of him. His eyes moving back and forth at lightning speed as he scanned the text. “Seven days, seven churches, seven parables, seven woes, seven trumpets, seven signs.” Cas pulled out a book as he raved on about the number seven. Dean followed him with his eyes as he leaned against the doorframe, still catching his breath. “Seven is a holy number. The number of divine perfection and completeness. A prime number only divisible by one and itself. It’s a lucky number.” He slammed the book down on the table and flipped it open.“Cas, you’re not making any sense.” Dean walked over to him, watching how he leafed through the pages of the book.“God created the cage to be the perfect prison for Lucifer. Perfection is always seven. Always. There’s the seals, the rings, the angelic spell, possibly God’s own power… That’s four, so there must be three more ways.”“We can’t know that for sure,” Sam said with a sigh. “Ten and twelve are considered holy numbers, too. And wouldn’t six be more logical? That represents sin and weakness. Ways to open the cage seem like weaknesses to me…”“No, I’m sure,” Cas shot, “There are seven ways and if we figure out the last three we can prevent them from happening.”“And what exactly are you looking for?” Dean glanced at the book Cas was reading. All he saw was gibberish; it was written in a strange language that Cas probably understood. And Sam too, the nerd.“Anything about the cage.”Dean sighed and pulled a book from one of the many shelves. He flipped it open. At least it was in English.“Awesome,” he muttered to himself, and started reading. * Three hours later they were still sitting at the table with books scattered around them. Dean idly flipped pages, scanning them and slowly losing hope of finding something as the minutes ticked past. He’d read about the darkest spells and learned about a hundred ways to bind and kill people with magic, but not a single way to open Lucifer’s cage. Hell, he wasn’t even mentioned in any of the fifteen books Dean had combed through. He heaved a dramatic sigh and slammed the book shut. Sam startled and shot him a questioning look, but Cas was unfazed, still squinting at the pages as he followed the lines on the paper with his finger.“I don’t know about you, but I’m starving,” Dean said standing up from his seat. “I’m gonna grab some Indian takeout. You want some?” Dean knew that Sam loved Indian food, which was why he squashed his craving for a bacon cheeseburger.“Yeah, I want the butter chicken and naan.”“I know, Sam.” Dean looked at Cas, but he was still absorbed in his book. “Cas?” Dean prompted, and the angel looked up with blank, confused eyes. “What do you wanna eat?”Cas frowned and rubbed at his jaw. “I don’t know; I’ve never had Indian food before.”Dean smiled at him. “I’ll pick something for you.”Cas nodded. “Thank you.”Dean squeezed the man’s shoulder in passing and saw a smile tug at his lips as he did so. Sam’s raised eyebrow went unnoticed. Dean was already strolling down to the garage. * “Cas, it’s okay. Just eat it.”“It smells funny.”“It’s good, I promise.”“What if it’s not?”“Oh, for God’s sake, just put it in your mouth!”“Don’t use my father’s name in vain, thanks.”“Cas…”A sigh. Cas poked at the chicken korma as if it would come back to life at any given moment. He squinted at it and sniffed. “Sam told me about the spicy foods.”Dean shot his brother a glare. Sam pretended not to have heard the discussion as he stuffed his mouth full of naan bread. Well, at least he was enjoying his dinner.“So you don’t trust me?” Dean asked.Cas tilted his head at him. “I do trust you, Dean.”Dean pricked a piece of chicken from Cas’s plate and held it up to show him. “Here, huh?” He stuck it in his mouth. Chewed it. And swallowed it. “See? Nothing wrong with it. Perfectly fine. Now, eat.”Sam sniggered quietly, and Dean kicked him in the shin under the table to shut him up. Right, Cas was behaving like a toddler, but it was understandable to be skeptic of things you’ve never done before. Even if that thing was just eating Indian food.Cas warily stabbed a piece of chicken on his fork and raised it to his mouth. He hesitated, sniffed it again. Dean raised an eyebrow at him and Cas quickly bit the piece of his fork. He chewed slowly. Dean watched the frown disappear and Cas’s blue eyes lit up.“It’s good,” he said, taking another bite.“Told you.” Dean pulled out his own dinner: beef vindaloo curry. Maybe Sam had told Cas about this. He smiled to himself, remembering the first time he’d taken Indian take-out back to the motel when Dad had been out on a hunt.Sam had been just a little boy and he’d easily become hooked on the butter chicken. When he’d tried Dean’s vindaloo, however… The twisted look on his face was forever etched in Dean’s mind as one of the funniest faces he’d ever pulled. Even better was that they had been all out of milk and Sam had hopped around the kitchen like a crazed rabbit looking for something to save his burning throat.“What are you smiling at?” Sam asked with a knowing look, his eyes were narrowed and the corners of his mouth twitched as he tried to suppress his own smile.“Nothing,” Dean quipped, “Just your vindaloo misadventure. Did you tell Cas about that?”Sam chugged a piece of naan at his brother. “Shut up, it was your fault!”Cas quizzically tilted his head, waiting for an explanation. Dean laughed, dodging the naan. “You stole from my plate! It’s not my fault you’re a baby.”“I’m not a baby, vindaloo is just made for stupid people who like to burn their insides,” Sam said, petulantly turning up his nose as Dean scoffed.“Oh, I’m sorry. I can’t help it that you’re so hyper-sensitive.”Sam gave him an affronted look. “I’m not hyper-sensitive!”“Yelled he, insulted by spicy food,” Dean countered teasingly. Sometimes Sam could be incredibly childish.“Dude, if you hadn’t screwed up your taste-buds you’d know that that stuff is a health hazard,” Sam said, pointing his fork at Dean’s vindaloo.“Don’t insult my food!” Dean said in mock horror.“You’ll find that I’m right when you hit the can tomorrow.” Sam slammed open another book as Dean laughed. Meanwhile Cas looked at them both with confusion.“Why would you do that?” he asked, turning to Dean for answers.“Hmm?”“Hit a can? Why?” Cas seemed to be genuinely confused. Dean exchanged a look with his brother and they burst into laughter. Cas was still as clueless as ever and he waited patiently for an explanation, not knowing that it was a pretty awkward question.“Well, um,” Dean grinned awkwardly at Cas, who squinted suspiciously in his direction. “It’s, you know, when you… use the bathroom?”“I don’t understand,” Cas replied flatly. “Use the bathroom for what purpose?”Dean waved his hand dismissively and stuffed his mouth full of vindaloo, giving Sam a look as to say ‘it’s your problem now’ as he chewed.Sam cleared his throat. “It’s a way of saying that you used the toilet,” he replied awkwardly. Cas rolled his eyes at this.“Why must humans be so cryptic about the excretion of fecal matter?”“Cas, I’m eating,” Dean grumbled, his mouth still half-full.Cas frowned at him, taking in Dean’s reactions with a scrutinizing gaze. Dean grew more uncomfortable as the silent seconds passed, Cas seemed to be processing the newfound information and smirked a bit when Dean squirmed in his seat. “Does it bother you?” he asked with a hint of amusement.“Yes!” Dean said fiercely. “I just wanna enjoy my food without thinking about where it’s gonna end up. ”“Alright,” Cas replied after a second of watching him irritably chew on a piece of beef. He silently resumed his own meal, looking guilty for some reason.Dean sighed quietly and shoveled down the remainder of his dinner, wanting to do something else than reading those stuffy books.“What’re you doing?” Sam asked when Dean stood up from the table.“I’m gonna call Crowley. He might know something about those demons that are helping Lucifer.”“Do we have to involve him?” Sam sighed, flipping open a new book.“He’s the King of Hell. His demons are helping Lucifer. He hates Lucifer. Clearly he’s gonna wanna help us. Why would we not involve him?”Dean stepped out the room and pulled out his phone, dialing Crowley’s number. It only rang twice before he picked up.“Squirrel! To what do I owe the honour of your call?” Crowley answered, sounding unimpressed and smug as always.“We got a situation down here that sadly involves you,” Dean said, “Could you come to the bunker?”“Anytime, dearest,” Crowley said from behind Dean, already having teleported.Dean startled. “Dude, could you stop doing that?”Crowley smirked and ignored him, turning around to move to the large tables. “Hello, boys,” he said to Cas and Sam.Sam looked up, a wild sort of look in his eyes, hungry for knowledge. “Crowley! You need to help us. Lucifer is trying to break out of the cage. Your demons are helping him, we don’t know how yet, but we’re trying to figure out how to stop them. We’re looking for ways to open the cage. Cas says there are seven of them. We’ve figured out about the rings, the seals, the–”“Moose, it’s lovely to see you too! Why yes I would like a glass of scotch, thank you very much.” Crowley placed himself in a chair with regal semblance, crossing his ankle over his knee and leaning against the backrest to shoot Sam a mischievous look.Sam rolled his eyes and pushed his chair back, letting the legs scrape across the floor to make the most annoying sound possible. Dean winched slightly at the sound and saw Cas do the same, even going as far as to take a step away from the high-pitched shrieking.“Sure, Crowley… Whatever.”Dean had to hold back a chuckle when Crowley received Sam’s infamous bitchface, as Dean had dubbed it. His nostrils would flare like an angry dog’s and his eyes would narrow before being set in a ‘done-with-your-shit’ stare. Sometimes he would give a sassy remark and a fake smile or sometimes he would press his lips together in a displeased line to hold back several death threats. It even seemed to make Crowley uncomfortable. Or maybe the mention of Lucifer had made him uncomfortable and he was just being a douche to get a chance to recompose himself. Dean stuffed his phone back in his pocket and walked over to stand next to Cas. In the corner Sam was noisily pouring him a glass of scotch while grumbling under his breath. When he was done, he marched back to Crowley and slammed the glass down on the table.“Your Majesty,” Sam bit, before walking around the table and ungracefully plopping down in his chair.“Thank you, Moose,” Crowley quipped with a self-satisfied smirk. “Now, tell me about Lucifer.”Sam ignored Crowley, pointedly flipping a page in his book. Dean sighed and rolled his eyes at his brother.“Lucifer has a plan to escape the cage again,” Cas said before Dean could start. “Your demons are somehow communicating with him. They’re cooperating. It’s only a matter of time until he escapes.”“And what, pray tell, would this elaborate scheme of his be? Surely, I would have noticed if my demons went missing. None of them have been anywhere they shouldn’t have been. I keep close tabs, nowadays.” Crowley took a sip from his drink.“We don’t know yet. That’s why we called you for help,” Cas said shortly, making Crowley roll his eyes.“So, you haven’t a clue what’s going on and you don’t know what you’re looking for, yet you still dare to interrupt my council meeting?” Crowley’s voice got louder as he spoke. “If you haven’t noticed, my position as King is somewhat precarious at the moment. I can’t afford to skip off whenever you call! I am not your bloody pet!”“Hey,” Dean snapped, “That’s enough. You know damn well that this is Cas, not Lucifer. He’s not to blame for what Lucifer did to you. Don’t you yell at him.” Cas looked at Crowley, hurt written on his face. “Now, you came to help,” Dean continued. “So, help.”They shared a short stare-down, Crowley scowling petulantly and Dean feeling like he was scolding a toddler.“Fine,” Crowley said finally. “I’ll help you with the Devil.”“Good,” grunted Dean. “Tell us what you know about opening the cage.”Crowley downed his scotch in one go. “Well,” he started, “you are correct. There are indeed seven ways of opening the thing.”“How can you be sure?” Sam asked skeptically.“You’re looking at the wrong books, love.” Crowley said as he picked up one of the books on the table. He studied the cover. “If you want to find a way to free Lucifer, why would you look to texts written by Christians who wet their pants at the mere thought of the Devil? Obviously you should turn to satanic scripts written by people who’ve done their research on these matters.”Dean could see Sam chewing on the inside on his cheek as he slowly shut his book.“Don’t look so down, Moose, it doesn’t become you. I – the King of Hell – do own the largest library on this subject, you know? Having done a little research myself, I’ll be back in a jiffy with the…more interesting novels.” With that, Crowley disappeared.“He’s a freaking jerk.” Sam pushed his books away and crossed his arms over his chest.“He does have a point,” said Cas quietly.Dean leaned back against the table and looked at Cas. “But he doesn’t have to be a bitch about it. There was no reason to yell at you like that.”“Or to make me his waiter,” grumbled Sam.“Actually, I thought that was funny,” Dean quipped.Sam huffed. “Yeah, I’m still laughing about it. Hilarious.”Dean chuckled and patted Sam on the shoulder.Crowley reappeared and slammed a stack of books on the table, startling Dean, who jumped up.“Dude, I told you to stop doing that!” he yelled.“You did no such thing,” Crowley smirked as he laid out his books. “You asked me if I could stop. Now, I could do that…” He handed Dean a book. “But I won’t.”Dean gave him a stare that said ‘really?’, and snatched the black leather-bound book from Crowley’s hands. An upside-down pentagram was embossed on the cover. Dean unfastened the silver clasp and opened it.It was filled with texts in different languages. Most of them, Dean had never seen before. But he recognized Latin, Enochian and Japanese script. It looked to be a bundle of texts and spells from all around the world. Written by different people, but using the same ink. Intricate drawings of symbols and patterns showed how to perform spells Dean had never seen. The results: lots of blood, disembowelment, blindness, paralysis and many disturbing forms of torture.As he leafed through the book, and became less distracted by its contents, he noticed there was something off about the paper and ink.“The hell is this?” he asked Crowley, putting the book on the table and wiping his hands on his jeans.Crowley hummed. “That, squirrel, is the Codex Diaboli. The cover is made out of the skin of a black python and the pages are made of goat hides.” Crowley traced his fingers over the thing like it was his most prized possession. Dean pulled a disgusted face and exchanged a look with Sam, who quickly put the book down that he was holding.“Oh,” Crowley continued, “And it’s written in demon blood.”“It’s an abomination,” Cas growled, taking a step back from the thing.“Oh, yes, it’s terrifically evil,” Crowley grinned as he flipped through the pages. “And it holds all the answers.”“Yeah?” Sam pushed, turning the book to have a better look at the text.Crowley found the page he was looking for and smoothened his hand over the words. Dean couldn’t understand most of it. It was mostly written in gibberish, except for one part in Latin at the bottom of the page.Quod expulit nunc admittet adversarius ibit.Dean frowned, mouthing the words as he racked his brain for a translation. He usually left translating to Sam, who could read ancient texts as is they were written in English. That which expelled…will now admit. The adversary…walks? Dean shrugged and waited for an explanation.Crowley turned the book back, to Sam’s annoyance. “This is an old Aramaic text about Lucifer’s cage. Dates back to the time when Rome was founded and King Midas went round turning rocks to gold. Loosely translated, it says the following…” Crowley cleared his throat and started citing. The brightest one defied Thus cast down by his kin Locked into a prison To contemplate his sin Brothers and the father Bind corruptor of Cain Seven ways to pardon None of which were plain Horsemen bearing rings White, red, black and pale The keys to his escape Lope away from jail His father holds the power To open up the door All three eldest brothers Free prisoner of war Seals that could be broken Damned spell to end confine Set of keys held by a saint Discharge the serpentine A means of liberation A steel twin and its foe Reunite opponents He rises from below Quod expulit Nunc admittet Adversarius ibit Dean dragged a hand over his mouth. It was all a bit cryptic, but they could definitely work with that. Sam seemed to be thinking hard on the text.“So, it says there’s seven ways. It names the rings, God’s power, the archangels, the seals...” Sam looked down at the notes he’d taken, spinning his pen between his fingers. “A ‘damned spell’ and a ‘set of keys held by a saint’… That’s Saint Peter, right?”“At the time, the Keys of Heaven didn’t belong to Saint Peter yet, but yes, those are the keys.” Crowley opened another book, immediately flipping to a page with a drawing. Dean recognized Jesus and Saint Peter immediately. It was the moment that Jesus had handed him the Keys of Heaven.“The story about Saint Peter was never complete,” Crowley continued. “There’s always a key missing in the stories.”Sam frowned. “What do you mean? There’s only two keys mentioned in the Bible.”“Ah, yes,” Crowley hummed. “‘On this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it. I will give you the keys of the kingdom of Heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in Heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in Heaven.’,” recited Crowley. “Matthew 16.”Dean scoffed. “Did you just quote the Bible at us?” Crowley shot him a look, and Dean backed down, swallowing the jokes he wanted to make.Cas cocked his head in confusion. “There’s a golden key to the gates of Heaven, and a silver key to the crypts beneath the Vatican. There is no third key,” he remarked.“That’s where you’re wrong, feathers. The silver key holds the power to bind in Hell. The key to the crypts of the Vatican is made of brass.” Crowley pointed out the key ring in Jesus’s hand. It bore three keys: gold, silver and brass.“So, we need to find Saint Peter’s keys, then?” Dean asked disbelievingly. Of course they would have to chase down some ancient artifact that hadn’t been seen in ages. Something that might not even exist anymore.“Of course not,” Crowley scoffed. “Those keys are kept in the Vatican. No ordinary demon could cross grounds that holy. They bless that room three times a day and it’s guarded at all times by trained exorcists.”Dean sighed. At least they wouldn’t have to rob the Vatican. Cas would’ve flipped his shit. He could feel the relieved shudder leave Cas as their arms brushed together. He hadn’t yet noticed how Cas was leaning on him, but now he could clearly see how tired and weak the angel truly was. “Well, at least we don’t have to worry about that then,” Sam said, ever the positive one.“What about the damned spell?” Cas asked quietly. He sounded a lot sicker than he had a couple hours ago. He shouldn’t have stayed up to research with them.“You alright?” Dean asked.Cas nodded. “I’m fine.” He was obviously annoyed by his weakness, and didn’t want the others to know. But he couldn’t hide from Dean. He could clearly see Cas wasn’t fine, but he decided to ignore it for now.Crowley raised his eyebrows at the short interaction, but Sam shook his head, telling him silently to drop it. Crowley shrugged. “Obviously the damned spell is in the Book of the Damned. I don’t have to spell that out for you, do I?”Dean sat down in his chair and threw his feet up on the table, allowing Cas to sit down without attracting too much attention to his fatigue. He did so, throwing Dean a thankful smile. “Rowena has the book, so we’ve got that one covered too, right?” Dean said.“Yes, Mother can keep that safe. With that book she’s nigh unbeatable.”Dean couldn’t help but notice how pissed off Crowley sounded, knowing that his witch mother had given him the slip and was off sipping tea somewhere as she flipped through the Book of the Damned. Rowena might’ve been a little crazy, but Dean couldn’t deny that he liked her and missed her witty remarks.“You should call her. Give her a heads-up,” Sam said absently. He was still staring at his notes. The last part of the poem seemed to have made little sense to him. He traced over the lines he’d jotted down, something Dean had seen him do too many times before when he was thinking hard.“You know, that last part could mean anything,” Sam huffed. He dropped into his chair and held the notes in his hands, drumming his pen against the edge of the table.Crowley too set himself down in his chair, managing to look swanky just through his posture. “Most of the poem is fairly clear,” he said. “It’s the last bit that is still a matter of some speculation. Some say it refers to another set of keys used by God to lock Lucifer up. Some say it refers to the seal of Solomon, a steel ring that expels demons. But Lucifer is no demon, so that is a load of baloney.”Crowley folded his hands together, and Dean could feel that he was preparing to tell a dramatic story with a lot of unnecessary jazz. He rolled his eyes. “Can you get to the point?”Crowley gave him an affronted look. “Patience, squirrel. Anyhow, I believe that it refers to two relics that were lost for a long time. The actual swords that Michael and Lucifer used in their final battle.”Dean turned his hand in a questioning gesture. “What do you mean? I thought we were the swords?” He hadn’t forgotten the time when Zachariah had tried to make him Michael’s vessel. That douchebag was still one of the things he’d hated most. Even after the Leviathans, Cain and Amara. That asshat had managed to push Dean’s buttons like no other. He’d made him hate classic rock. He’d made him eat salads. He’d made him drive a Prius!“He said actual swords, Dean, not metaphorical.” Sam pulled Dean from his thoughts.“What?”Sam sighed exasperatedly. “We are the metaphorical swords. There’s a dif- You know what? Never mind. What about the swords, Crowley?”Crowley leaned back in his chair and started to explain.Apparently, Michael hadn’t gone into battle with just his famous lance. He’d also carried a powerful sword: Datoriusti, the giver of justice. It was forged by the Greek god Hephaestus, the blacksmith of the Gods. Hephaestus had forged Lucifer’s sword Clarissimus, the brightest, years ago, and had managed to create an unbreakable sword that was just as powerful. Once Michael had beaten and caged Lucifer, he was to seal the cage forever using the swords. After that, he had taken the swords and broken them in half. The pieces were scattered in the four winds.The only way to make them whole again was to bring all pieces together and chant the spell.Dean raked a hand through his hair. “That sounds like a lot of trouble. You said they’ve been lost for centuries?”“No, I acquired three of the four pieces through deals with hunters over the years,” Crowley smirked to himself. “I told them they wouldn’t go to Hell if they found me a piece…” The little chuckle told Dean enough about the hunters’ fate.“What about the last piece?” he asked through gritted teeth.“The blade of Michael’s sword was found in Valhallfonna, Spitsbergen, the handle at the bottom of Lake Vostok, Antartica. Lucifer’s blade was found atop mount Fuji in Japan. The only piece missing is the handle of Clarissimus.” Crowley picked up a scroll of parchment and rolled it out on the table. It was a map of the world. Three red X’s marked the locations he’d just mentioned.“The last piece is in the West,” Cas said, bending over the table to point at the map. “Logically, it would be in the Western United States. These locations are all in the far perimeter of the chart.” Cas’s eyes darted across the map. Dean could see that he knew something and was trying to pry it from his memory. The human forgetfulness was something he wasn’t used to, he was grinding his teeth together and the upside-down V appeared again on his brow.“Cas?” Dean pushed when he didn’t continue. He obviously had something to say.Cas’s eyes snapped up to him, looking a little wild. “I’ve heard of this before. I know I have. I just…can’t remember.” He sat back, disappointment clear on his face. Dean patted him lightly on the shoulder.“That’s okay, Cas. You’ll remember.”Cas pulled the sleeves of his sweater over his hands and folded his arms over his chest. He was shivering. A trickle of sweat was running down the back of his neck and his skin was pale except for the flush on his cheeks. His fever was rising again.“You should get some rest,” Dean voiced, giving his shoulder a squeeze. Cas opened his mouth to protest, but Dean cut him off. “We need you to get better, Cas. It seems we’ve got a crazy ride ahead of us, and we need all the hands we got, okay? You can’t fight like this.”Cas nodded. “Okay, Dean.”“We’ll check this thing out in the morning. I’m guessing we’re a couple steps ahead of Lucifer. We’ll find that piece before they do.” Dean stood up from his seat. “So get some rest. Get better.”Cas rose silently and swayed on his spot for a moment, blinking as the dizziness overcame his. His hand shot to the edge of the table for support.“Cas?” Dean asked worriedly.“I’m fine.” The reply was strained and a little angry. Cas recovered quickly and took a deep breath. He threw Dean an apologetic smile. “I’m fine,” he repeated in a gentler tone. Dean nodded. His hand slid off Cas’s shoulder as the angel turned and headed for his room. Just before he disappeared down the hallway, he looked back over his shoulder. “Goodnight,” he called.Dean smiled. “Night, Cas.”Sam called out a ‘good night’ and Crowley bid him good night with a nod, like a proper king should. Dean watched as Cas shuffled out of sight, the hems of his pant legs dragging over the floor. He huffed amusedly and turned back to the others.“We should hit the hay too, Sam. I think we’ve got a long drive to the Far West tomorrow.”Sam nodded, finished the note he was jotting down, and rose from his chair. A small smile pulled at the corners of his mouth, and Dean knew he was about to make a snarky comment. Sam gathered his things and held them close to his chest, then he turned to Crowley.“By your leave, Your Majesty?”Crowley rolled his eyes and waved his hand at Sam. “Yes, Moose, you’re dismissed. I would hate to rob you of your beauty sleep.”Sam bowed dramatically and walked past Dean, chuckling. Dean clapped him on the back. “Night, bitch.”“Good night, jerk.”Without another word, Sam too disappeared down the hallway. Crowley shook his head at the interaction. He checked his watch.“Well, squirrel, I trust you can keep my books safe. I have to get back to that meeting, they’ve been waiting for a while.”Dean nodded. “Sure. I suppose you’ve got a lot to discuss. If you find anything out, give me a call, yeah?”“I’ll never pass up on the opportunity to hear your sweet baritone, Dean,” he teased, and before Dean could respond, he was gone.Dean shook his head, snickering. “Son of a bitch…” With a sigh he looked back at the table. Books laid scattered across the surface, some opened, some stacked, mostly just a mess. He went about putting the useless ones back in their spots. They had to organize in some way if they wanted to make progress. He quietly sang the words to his favorite song as he shoved a thick tome back in place.He was relieved that they’d found a lead so quickly. Usually it took days, sometimes weeks before they found a little hope. Sammy would’ve gone mad if they hadn’t found something in so long.“Mine's a tale that can't be told, my freedom I hold dear,” Dean sang. He rolled up the map and laid it aside. He stacked the remaining books and regarded his work proudly.They’d locate the sword piece in the morning, and then they’d get it before Lucifer would. Really, there was nothing to worry about. Sounded like a milk run.“Ramble on!” Dean belted out, “Sing my song, gonna work my way round the world.” He turned off the lights and headed for his bedroom with a spring in his step, ignoring Sam’s call to shut up.They’d be fine this time. He just knew it. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Foreigner You don't have to read my mind,to know what I have in mind. A bird chirped a melancholy melody from where it sat in a tree that gently swayed back and forth as the breeze ruffled its leaves. Cas was standing on a neatly kept lawn, flowerbeds blooming in a hundred different colors around him. Colors a human eye would never be able to see. Cas looked up at the sky. The autistic man’s kite was still soaring on the wind, and he smiled happily as he watched its tail dance.Cas was in Heaven. He knew it instantly. Though something seemed different about it. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it. He moved forward, feeling the grass flatten beneath his shoes as he stepped on it. The smells were different. The petunias smelled sweeter and the roses were somehow not quite what they used to be. That was strange, as this heaven never changed.A voice called out for him. It was coming from the garden shed, just at the edge of the lawn. It spoke his name over and over again, beckoning him to come. Cas decided to have a look, and walked towards the shed, his hand brushing over the flower heads as he passed by. They didn’t feel the same. They were softer, less textured. He reached the door and pushed down the handle. A bright light greeted him, almost blinded him as he opened the door. He blinked profusely and stepped inside. The door fell shut behind him with a soft click. As his eyes adjusted, Cas spotted a figure sitting behind a desk, his hands folded in front of him.“Castiel,” he said in a deep voice, “come.”Cas stepped forward. The carpet was rough but familiar and the smell of chemicals intensified as his feet struck against it. The room gave off a rich, corporate feel with its leather armchairs and simple, practical decor.“Raphael.” Cas greeted the archangel with a short nod. He was supposed to be dead. Cas had made sure of that himself. The only reasonable explanation for this situation was that Cas was reliving a memory. Raphael’s smile looked fake and emotionless as he gestured for Cas to take a seat in the chair opposite him. Cas slowly sank back in the leather upholstery as his eyes flitted over the map in front of Raphael. Half of it was covered with files and the other half was blurry. The lines swam across the parchment as Cas tried to focus. It resembled a connect-the-dots puzzle. The ones in the newspaper that Sam solved sometimes.Cas remembered this meeting, but it had been a long time ago. It had to have been some time during the eighteenth century.“Zachariah has told me you’ve repented, Castiel?” Raphael asked seriously. Cas couldn’t remember what he had done that required penance, but he’d learned from Dean that sometimes if you wanted to know something, you had to lie, even if that was sinful.“Yes, sir,” Cas replied boldly, his voice strong and unwavering. Raphael only nodded in reply. He wasn’t one to waste too many words, especially not to lower tier soldiers.Raphael stood up from his seat and moved to the window, his hands clasped behind his back. “Although you stepped out of line by talking back to your superior, I think what you said to Zachariah was very much true. We do need to ensure the safety of Heaven’s weapons.” He looked over his shoulder, his dark eyes pinning Cas to his chair. “No more insubordination, Castiel.”Cas nodded shortly. “Yes, sir,” he said again. Raphael seemed to think for a moment, his eyes scanning Cas as if he was trying to detect falsehood. He pursed his lips and moved back to the desk. He cleared away the files, stacking the parchment in the corner of the desk. The map suddenly became a lot less blurry to Cas. He could see the lines and shapes settling as Raphael smoothened out the map.“As you seem to care much about Heaven, and this was your idea, I have a special mission for you,” Raphael spoke. “I want you to safeguard Heaven’s most powerful weapons, Castiel.”“Me?” Cas blurted, feeling confused. He had no memory of doing so.“Indeed.” Raphael opened the desk drawer and pulled out a bottle of ink and a black-feathered quill. Without another word he unstoppered the bottle and dipped the tip of the quill in the ink. “You will have to travel to four locations,” he spoke as he started marking them down. “One in every cardinal direction: north, east, south and west.” With precise strikes of his quill, he wrote an X on the northern, eastern and southern locations. Cas shifted in his seat in anticipation of the western location. He squinted at the map, trying to bring it in better focus.Raphael dipped his quill in the ink once more, and slowly scraped off the excess ink before he finally marked the final location. A shock of recognition went through Cas’s body and a pleased smirk appeared on his lips.Death Valley, California.He hadn’t remembered the location last night, but he’d know that it’s been locked somewhere in his memory. He sprang up from his seat. He had to tell Dean about this.“Castiel?” Raphael called as Cas marched to the door. He could hear the heavy footsteps of the archangel as he followed him to the door. “Castiel!” he repeated more firmly.Castiel tried the door handle, but it jammed. The door wasn’t budging. A sharp sting of fear raced down his spinal cord. He had to tell Dean. It was of the utmost import! They could stop Lucifer with this information! He span around, expecting Raphael, but what he saw was something completely different.Hellfire raged through the office, consuming everything in its path. Cas could feel boils forming on his skin as it burnt the carpet underneath his feet and he hissed as he watched them form on his hands. Raphael had disappeared, but someone else was standing in his place. A sharp gust of wind shook the flames and blew through Cas’s hair. The man was merely a silhouette against the bright light of the fire, but Cas knew instantly who it was by the towering shadow of his luminous white wings: Lucifer. His eyes glowed red as he gazed down at Cas with a raised eyebrow.“You can’t stop me, Cas,” he said matter-of-factly, amusement dripping from his voice. “You’ll never stop me. I will get exactly what I want.”“No!” Cas screamed over the roar of the fire. “No, I won’t let you escape! I won’t let you hurt Sam and Dean!”Lucifer hummed and stepped closer to him, unaffected by the fire. Cas could see him clearly now. His malicious smirk widened into a grin. “What are you gonna do, baby brother? You’re weak! You’re useless! You can’t even take care of yourself.” Lucifer took a step aside, revealing a figure behind him. Cas’s breath hitched in his throat.Lucifer sneered. “How were you planning on protecting the Winchesters?”It was Dean. He was strung to the ceiling of the office, meat hooks buried deep in his shoulders. Blood trickled from the wounds, painting patterns across his scarred chest and abdomen. With a groan, he lifted his head.“Cas?” His voice was low and raspy, hoarse from screaming in pain.Cas tried to push past Lucifer, but he was held back. “Dean!” he yelled, wrestling against Lucifer’s strong grip. The archangel let out a mocking, throaty laugh. “Dean!” yelled Cas again. Dean struggled in his bonds, and blood gushed from his shoulders in a steady flow. The shackles that kept his arms up rattled around his wrists as he pulled.“Don’t! You’re hurting yourself!” Cas cried. He panted from exertion as he threw his weight forward, hoping to make Lucifer stumble, but it was no use. He was far stronger than Cas.“You can never save him, Castiel,” Lucifer hissed in his ear.“Dean!” screamed Cas.“You cannot stop me. And if you try? This right here,” he pointed to Dean, who sagged against his bonds, the meat hooks ripping through his muscles with an agonizing sound, “This is what I’ll do to him.”“No!” Cas roared, throwing himself forward once again. “You won’t ever get out. I will guard them. I will watch over them as I always have.” He bared his teeth at his brother, pinning him with a glare of his own. “They’re my family,” he said firmly.Lucifer smiled at him. “That’s cute,” he said sniggering. “But, you see, if you’re a Winchester… You must burn.”He forcefully shoved Cas into the fire and he landed at Dean’s feet. The clothes burned off his body as he screamed. He’d never felt such profound pain before. His body was shaking all over as it fought against the heat. He could faintly hear Dean calling his name as he thrashed around.“Cas! Hey, Cas, c’mon! Snap out of it already!”Sweat ran down his face and back, his throat was hurting and his skin was burning.“Shhh, Cas! It’s okay.”A cool hand touched his forehead, his cheek, his neck. Cas leaned into the touch. He was desperate to stop the burning. His hands came up to grasp around for more of that little relief.“Cas, wake up! You’re dreaming.”What?Confusedly, Cas finally managed to open his eyes, and he was met with the sight of a very concerned Dean. He was holding onto Dean’s arm with both his hands, keeping his hand pressed into his neck.“You okay, buddy?” Dean asked as he threw the sheets off of Cas. “You were yelling in your sleep. I think you were having some kind of fever dream.”“Death Valley, California,” Cas blurted quickly, lest he forgot.Dean frowned at him. “What?”“That’s where the handle of Clarissimus is hidden.”Dean helped him sit up in his bed. “How do you know?” he asked, surprised at the sudden information. “Take off the sweater, dude, you’re burning up.”“I remembered it,” Cas explained as he pulled at his sweater. “Raphael told me about it a long time ago.” His head got stuck in the hole of the sweater and Dean helped him pull it off as he fought back a smile. Cas’s hair stuck up in every direction.“So,” Dean said as he threw the sweater on the floor, “Why were you yelling?”Cas adjusted the shirt he’d worn under the sweater. It was sweat-soaked and slightly uncomfortable. “The dream changed suddenly. Lucifer was there. He said he cannot be stopped.”Dean huffed as he handed Cas the glass of water from his night stand. “We’ll see about that. We’ve done it before, we can do it again.” Cas greedily chugged down the water, the cool liquid soothing the pain in his throat as he drank. When he was done, Dean took the empty glass from his hands and placed it back on the nightstand.“Dean,” Cas prompted, his voice soft with hesitation. Dean turned back to him, raised eyebrows inciting him to talk. Cas sighed.“What is it, Cas?” Dean pushed.“In my dream, Lucifer showed me you,” Cas said. He fixed Dean with a serious stare before he continued. “You looked just the way you did when I found you in Hell all those years ago.” Dean frowned, but otherwise remained silent as he waited for Cas to continue. “He said he’d do that to you again if we tried to stop him.”Dean sighed and shifted on the bed, his hand squeezing Cas’s knee in comfort. “It’s just a dream. Nothing more. You’re just worried after what you heard today. Cas, Lucifer can’t get to you. He’s still locked up in that cage without any way to hurt us.”Cas paused for a moment, not wanting to pose his theory and upset Dean, but he had no choice. They had to consider every possibility when it came to Lucifer. He swallowed thickly before looking back at Dean. “Maybe the cage is still damaged. That’s how he reached Sam last time.”“Chuck and Amara fixed that when they locked him back in,” Dean said calmly. To anyone else, there would have been no sign of worry, but Cas felt the minute twitch of Dean's fingers against his knee.“We don’t know that,” Cas said quietly.“Of course they did! They’re not stupid. Chuck knew about the damage.”“What if they didn’t? What if he’s in my head and he’s toying with me? He knows me, Dean. He possessed me,” argued Cas.“All the more reason to make sure he stays locked up. That son of a bitch isn’t getting out of there any time soon. Not as long as I’m around.” Dean pushed off the bed and started pacing. Cas’s chest constricted as he looked at Dean, he seemed to be a lot more worried now. Dean dragged a hand over his jaw like he often did when he was upset.“They must’ve fixed the cage…” Dean muttered more to himself than to Cas. Cas stood up from his bed, his legs slightly shaking with effort. He grabbed Dean by the shoulder to make him stop pacing, and gave him his best reassuring smile when he saw Dean’s concerned eyes.“Let’s not fret over it,” he said. “I trust you’re right about Chuck fixing the cage. One wouldn’t leave the Devil unconfined.”The muscles in Dean’s jaw popped as he swallowed. After a beat, he nodded, but the worry was still deeply etched in his features. “Yeah…”“I’m sorry, Dean. I didn’t mean to upset you,” Cas said sincerely as he removed his hand from Dean’s shoulder. Dean huffed, a hint of amusement pulling at the corners of his mouth.“I’m always upset about something, Cas. Don’t worry about it.”Cas smiled wistfully as he watched Dean move to the doorway. The light in the hallway darkened him to a backlit silhouette. Dean turned, speaking over his shoulder. “We’ll leave at first light,” he said. Cas saw that he was looking at the closed door of Sam’s bedroom, the worry plain in his eyes. He wanted to tell him that everything would be alright, that they’d get the sword piece tomorrow and that Lucifer would never walk again, but he couldn’t be sure. He didn’t want to make false promises. Dean would see right through them anyway.“Alright, then,” he said finally.Dean threw him a sad smile. “Alright,” he echoed back. For a few seconds, neither of them moved, their eyes locked, expressing things they didn’t want to say out loud. Promising, hoping, that they’d really be alright. Dean was the first to break away, and he shook his head slightly. “G’night, Cas,” he said quietly as he closed the door.“Good night,” Cas replied. He stood still as he listened to the click of the door and the sound of Dean’s retreating footsteps. The rhythmic drum of his heart was loud in his ears when the silence of the night wrapped him up once more. Cas chalked this, and his slight dizziness, up to his rising fever, and he crawled back in his bed. The remainder of his night was filled with feverish fragments of dreams, just too far from reach to grasp and understand, but always filled with the same familiar face.Dean slammed the trunk of the Impala shut. He’d made sure that their stash of salt, oil and holy water was restocked, and that there were plenty of bullets and guns. Cas handed him the last two bags. One filled with lore books and scrolls, the other filled with food and water for the ride. Dean placed them on the backseat, huffing as he lifted the bag with books.“Jesus, how many books did you pack?” he asked Sam.“We need to be prepared. The sword piece will be heavily warded so we need to make sure we’ve got the necessary spells.”Dean closed the door and shot his brother a look. “Usually you just look it up on the Internet. What’s up with the portable library?”Sam rolled his eyes. “Death Valley is in the middle of a desert. I doubt we’ll even have phone reception, let alone Wi-Fi.”“Okay.” Dean held his hands up in surrender and opened the door to the driver’s seat. “Well, middle of the desert or no, we’re going.” He got in the car and slammed the door shut behind him. Before Cas could crawl in the backseat, the engine came to life with a low growl.They’d be on the road till nightfall, and that was if Dean speeded. When they emerged from the underground bunker, Cas saw that the sun hadn’t even started to rise yet. The birds were only just waking up, ruffling their feathers to shake the morning dew.“Sammy, how far is it again to Death Valley?” Dean inquired as he steered onto the road.“Almost 1300 miles,” Sam said with a sigh. “It’s gonna be a long day.”Dean smiled. “I need nothing but a stretch of asphalt and my Baby.” With that, he stepped on the gas pedal and surged down the road, sending Cas flying back against his seat.“Careful!” he yelped as he struggled with his seatbelt.Dean laughed at him, and eyed him in the rearview mirror, his eyes twinkling. “What’s wrong, Cas? Scared?”Cas abruptly let go of the seatbelt and shot Dean a challenging look. “Never,” he replied.“Good, ‘cause we can go a lot faster than this once we hit the Interstate.”Sam sighed resignedly. “Just don’t run anyone over.”**The road flew by as Dean drove, and Cas quietly listened as he sang along to his favorite songs, acted out drum solos and nodded his head to the beat.“Sweet home Alabama,” he belted, hitting Sam on the arm to get him to sing along. “Where the skies are so blue!”Sam laughed. “We’re in Colorado, Dean.”“Sweet home Alabama! – What’s that, I can’t here ya, Sam. – Lord, I’m coming home to you.”Cas felt a smile form on his face and an inexplicable heat creeped up the back of his neck. He rubbed a hand over his neck and cleared his throat as he averted his eyes. The music turned down slightly.“You okay, Cas?” Dean asked worriedly. “Is your fever rising again? You look a little flushed, buddy.”Cas’s throat felt dry and it hurt when he tried to swallow. “I’m fine,” he rasped. Dean raised his eyebrow, looking thoroughly unconvinced, so Cas cleared his throat again. “I feel fine,” he tried again. The longer this fever lasted, the more irritated Cas became. His body had never before betrayed him like this. Not without reason.“I can pull over if you want some fresh air. It’s no problem,” Dean said, already switching back to the right lane.“You don’t have to,” Cas insisted.Dean’s eyes flitted between him and the road for a moment. “You sure?”“Dean, I said I’m fine,” Cas snapped. “You don’t have to worry about me because of this ailment. I’ve battled angels, demons and the Devil himself, I think I can fight a pathogen just fine.”“Oh, I’m sorry,” Dean said, offended. “I’m just concerned ‘cause you’re not used to being human. But, damn, I’ll back off, alright.”“You didn’t care last time.” It’d slipped out before Cas could stop it. He didn’t know why he’d said it and he felt his chest twist when he caught the hurt look that Dean shot him.“What?”“Nothing,” Cas said quickly. “I’m sorry, I–”“No, don’t go saying you didn’t mean it,” Dean spat. “I thought we’d left that in the past, Cas. You know I had my reasons when I said you couldn’t stay in the bunker last time you were human.”“I know,” Cas said sincerely, shooting Dean an apologizing look. “I’m sorry.”Dean’s hands clenched around the steering wheel and Cas could see the muscles shifting in his jaw as he gritted his teeth. In his eyes, Cas could see the inner struggle Dean was having; he wanted to say more, but he didn’t want to fight. “Just, don’t be a dick about it, okay? I still feel guilty for what you had to go through,” he said finally. He turned his eyes back on the road, blindly staring at the broken white lines on the asphalt and the tail lights of the car far in front of him.Cas sighed. “You don’t have to.”“I do, okay?!” Dean yelled, swerving the car in his anger. Sam’s arm shot out to grab the wheel, but Dean batted his hand away. “I feel guilty all the time for every goddamn thing. You fucking died multiple times for us, you gave up everything you had just to be stuck with us in a car while being hunted by every evil son of a bitch out there. There was the Apocalypse, Purgatory, the Angel factions, the Mark of Cain, the Darkness. Cas, you were possessed by the Devil because of us!” Dean paused to collect himself, staring at Cas through the rearview mirror. “So, yes, I’m worried about you. ‘Cause this – the way you’re feeling right now? It’s just another thing I blame myself for.”Cas could feel a lump forming in his throat, and it was hard to push out the words. “Dean…” His voice cracked and broke on his chapped lips, sounding fragile. He shook his head. “None of it is your fault. I chose this,” he said quietly. “I rebelled because I believed in you. I chose to stay and fight because, through you, I learned the truth about humanity.” Cas paused, looking between Sam and Dean. He didn’t know how to tell them what he felt. He didn’t know how to word why he threw away Heaven for a life on the run with them; two human beings who seemed so insignificant in the vast expanse of the age-old Galaxy.“God wanted the Angels to be humanity’s shepherds. They were never that. You two… You were. You are humanity’s shepherds. You save the world. You rescue, you heal, fix, guard… You sacrifice your own comfort to do this thankless job, and nobody will even know you prevented Armageddon more than once.” Cas leaned forward in his seat and placed a hand on either of their shoulders. “You do what I was supposed to do since the beginning. You taught me what’s right and wrong. You taught me how to care, how to love.” Cas saw a tear fall down Dean’s cheek, slipping down his jaw and dripping onto his jacket.“If I had to do it all over again, I would chose to go with you. I will always chose to go with you, so don’t ever blame yourself. It is my choice, Dean.”Dean’s lips trembled, and he pursed them, too stubborn to let the tears fall. His knuckles had turned white from gripping the steering wheel too hard and his shoulder was tense under Cas’s hand. Cas gently squeezed, encouraging him to speak, and Dean nodded. “Okay,” he croaked quietly, catching Cas’s eye in the mirror. Cas gave him a reassuring smile. “Okay,” repeated Dean. He dragged his hand over his jaw to wipe away the tear track, and an awkward laugh bubbled from his throat.“Huh, I was just asking about your fever, how did it get to this?” he remarked. “Sammy, remember when we used to say ‘no chick-flick moments’ when stuff like this came up?”Sam hummed. “Yeah, but you love chick-flicks,” he said, patting his brother’s knee.“Bite me,” Dean shot back.“It’s good to have these conversations, Dean. It certainly beats bottling up your feelings.”“Okay, thanks, Mr. Shrink. I’ll remember that, but next time I expect one of those fancy couches to lay down on when we get all emotional,” Dean quipped. He was trying to lighten the mood for Sam, who sat awkwardly by his side, but Cas could still feel the tightness in his shoulder.“You mean a chaise longue?”Cas gently squeezed Dean’s shoulder again, rolling his thumb into the tight muscle and willing it to relax. His other hand slid off Sam’s shoulder and rested on the back of the seat.“If that’s what it’s called in fancy-speak, then yes.”Cas could feel Dean’s shoulder relaxing as he moved his thumb, taking the strain away as he bantered with Sam. After a minute or so, Dean patted Cas’s hand. He was looking at him through the mirror again, his eyes calm and sincere.“Thank you, Cas,” he said. And Cas knew that it meant a lot more than Dean was making it seem like to Sam. He saw that Dean was leaving out the words ‘for everything’, because he knew Cas understood.Cas smiled.“You’re welcome.”
11258544	Circumstances	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "F/M", "Characters": "Donald Pierce, Boyd Holbrook, Logan, James Howlett, Logan Howlett, Logan (X-Men)", "Fandom": null, "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by lumifuer", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-21T00:00:00", "words": "1,278", "Additional Tags": "Angst, Pain, Hospital, Flirting, Awkward Flirting, Bad Flirting, Burns, cuts and bruises, Logan (2017)", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "Donald Pierce/Reader, Donald Pierce/You, Donald Pierce/OC, Boyd Holbrook/You, Boyd Holbrook/Reader, Boyd Holbrook/OC", "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": "Marvel (Comics), X-Men - All Media Types, X-Men (Movieverse), Wolverine (Movies), Marvel", "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	The earsplitting sound of my ringing phone shook me awake. Struggling to keep my eyes open, I sat up and reached for the phone. Contact’s name made the blood in my veins freeze and I could feel a growing lump in my throat.The thought of sleep sunk into oblivion as I answered the call with shaky hands. “Don?” I whispered with hope still present in my voice. “Hey, kiddo,” I heard one of the Reavers’ voice but was unable to identify him correctly, “there’s been a little accident at work. I think Pierce would appreciate your company now.” I shut my eyes and covered the mouth with my palm to mute a sob. Logan and Donald couldn’t have survived this witch hunt. Not both of them at least. And up until that moment, I had no clue who was easier to say goodbye to. The decision was made inside of my head once I saw Donald’s number on my phone screen. “You still there?” I instinctively nodded, still trying to fight off the despair that was tearing apart my insides. “Yeah,” I spat out, “and I’m gonna be there in a minute.” I hung up, preventing him from asking any more question that I wouldn’t be capable of answering without bursting into tears. I jumped out of bed and put on the first clothes that happened to be within my reach. It was only on my way to the elevator that I realised that the black shirt didn’t belong to me. The scent of Donald’s skin that I knew so well was painfully reminiscent of how I always felt with him around. The feeling of guilt and helplessness was swallowing me whole and I couldn’t keep up with wiping the tears from my cheeks.The way to the Transigen hospital seemed to drag on forever. Every intersection that I had to overpass welcomed me with a bright red light and if that wasn’t enough, it started pouring and I was forced to slow down by overcautious elderly drives more than a few times.I parked right next to the entrance, not bothering with locking the car. I was praying that I wasn’t already too late. As soon as she saw me, rain-soaked and frightened, the receptionist sent me to the room number 23. I thanked her with a quick nod and ran in the shown direction. When I took the right turn into the corridor, my eyes laid on the Reaver with whom I probably spoke earlier. Even from afar I could see all the dirt and dried blood on his uniform. He motioned me to come closer to him. Only then did I realise that I stood still in the middle of the hallway, completely paralysed by fear. I covered the distance separating me from the room within few quick steps and peered through the open door. Three doctors were nervously circling around the hospital bed in desperate efforts to recover the consciousness of the person who was lying on it. The monotonous sound of the machines intimating a heart failure was splitting my skull in half. Although my vision was blurred by tears that were streaming down my face, I noticed a metal arm hanging by the side of the bed. The men from Donald’s division was saying something to me in a low voice but I couldn’t distinguish the words coming from his mouth. It was like a nightmare, the kind where the whole world seems to suddenly shrink with a blink of an eye and the purpose of everything is to cause a suffering and despair. I was trying to keep away from Donald’s body, partly because I didn’t want to disturb the doctors but also because I caught a glimpse of his face. He was pale, his eyes were shut with his head lifelessly dropped to one side. From time to a spasm would go through his body as doctors were trying to restore his heart’s work. But the thing that worried me the most was the enormous burn wound covering the right side of his face and a part of his neck. Similar to those of people who barely survived an explosion. I could also notice a lot of minor cuts and bruises on his skin. My reverie was stopped abruptly by a single beep that echoed in the room. I turned my face to the pulse monitoring device and even though I was trying my best not to give into hope, the sight didn’t make it any easier for me. Just a second later I could hear another short sound which was followed by yet another. I looked back at Don. The doctors seemed more relaxed but didn’t stop their efforts just yet. However, thanks to this tiny improvement, there was finally enough space by his side for me to fit in. “Baby?” I whispered, running my fingers through his blonde hair stained with blood. I was quite aware that it was naive of me to expect a reaction, nevertheless, the lack of it ripped the heart out of my chest and tore it to pieces. My mind snapped and I lost the remaining control over my emotions. The teardrops were falling freely and I was sobbing, even though I still remembered that people around were, in fact, colleagues from work. For a short time, I almost forgot about my commitment to Logan and Gabriela’s cause. The minutes were passing by both slowly and incredibly fast at the same time. My eyes were fixed on the blurred sight of Donald lying motionless on the white hospital sheets. The doctors were bustling around cleaning the wounds and securing them with bandages. Once Donald’s pulse was stabilised, they left the room. A quiet sigh of relief escaped my mouth. I rested my head on the mattress and listen to the regular beating of his heart. The sight of his chest rising and then falling slowly was so unspeakably soothing for me. It might have been still too early to start celebrating but I could breathe with ease once again. All of a sudden, I felt his hand squeezing mine and I immediately straighten my back, trying to be closer to him. “Don?” I whispered. He opened his eyes and almost right away a beautiful smile brighten his expression. “Hi,” he said in a weak voice, “looking good, baby.” I laughed and brushed his hair away from his face. “How are you feeling?” I asked, “Does it hurt a lot?” He shook his head in response and ironically the slight movement caused him pain because he frowned and bit his lip. “Bet they will give me some new improvements,” he said, raising his metal arm gently brushing my cheek with it, “you have some getting used to them ahead of you.” “If they will work as efficiently as those you already have, I won’t complain,” I replied with a wink. “Are you flirting with me? You?” he teased, slightly raising his eyebrows, “Shame I hadn’t known that was all you needed, I’d stand near explosions more often.” “I’ll stop you right there,” I rolled my eyes. The smile stayed on his lips the entire time, even when he was shaking his head, visibly amused. “I mean it,” I gently cupped his cheeks, bearing in mind that should avoid touching his new scars, “I was worried as hell.” “Can I honestly say I’m happy you were or will it make me an asshole?” “You’re already an asshole.” “Then come here,” he pulled me closer with his hand and pressed his lips against mine. I could feel his smile growing even wider under the touch.
11216178	One Night	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "F/M", "Characters": "Draco Malfoy, Astoria Greengrass", "Fandom": "Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by pauraque", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-16T00:00:00", "words": "909", "Additional Tags": "Community: hphet, Anonymity Roleplay, Post-Canon", "Relationship": "Astoria Greengrass/Draco Malfoy", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Walking up to the entrance of the pub, Draco glances in a car window to check the angle of his new hat. In his sharp, sleek suit and tie he could pass for one of the men he sees round the Muggle office buildings when he flies that way, and he imagines himself now as one of them. Some businessman just stopping off for a pint before another lonely evening — or hoping it won't be so lonely after all.His heartbeat picks up as he slides in the door past a man and woman quickly leaving (it's the time of night and the type of pub where couples often make quick exits) and takes in the room. Low lights, pulsing music he's never heard before, and the scent of smoke and liquor.It's crowded, but he still spots Astoria right off despite her being in new clothes and facing away from him, perched on a seat at the bar. He reminds himself he's not meant to be looking for anyone in particular, and lets his gaze course over a few other women as though he might fancy any of them, picking out their brightly-coloured outfits like tropical birds among the drabber men.But it's not hard to imagine that he'd instantly be drawn to her, this blonde in a blue backless dress, hair done up in chopsticks, long pretty legs crossed elegantly as she sips her drink. There's an open seat beside her, and surely any businessman would take that deal; you don't always get a second chance at a woman like that.As he sidles his way over, he sees her catch the eye of some lanky bloke with a beard, and smile at him. Jealousy thrills through Draco's body, but tonight she's not his wife; tonight she could be anyone, could belong to anyone. He quickens his pace but not too much (women in pubs don't want desperate men) and manages to snag the empty seat.He orders a pint, and at the sound of his voice, she turns. Not too quickly... making him wait for it. Her lips curl into an appraising half-smile. "Hi," Astoria says, sounding a bit airy and unlike herself — perhaps the near-empty drink between her hands is not her first."How do you do," says Draco, smiling back and noticing the pale line round her finger where her wedding ring isn't."Wretched weather tonight," she says, though it isn't particularly. "Horrible," he agrees. There's a strand of hair that's escaped from behind her ear. Were they themselves, he would reach up and idly tuck it back for her. His fingers twitch with muscle memory. He nods toward her glass. "May I buy you another?""Maybe I've had enough. I'm starting to have funny thoughts about strange men." She laughs. He hesitates before he does too, not sure if she's serious. "You're staring a bit. Is my mascara smudged?""No," he says, trying not to think too hard about his words, to let them fall where they will, "just looking at your eyes. They're very pretty. Like sapphires."She lets out a low, smoky chuckle. "You'll strain yourself trying that hard." Gives his leg a teasing nudge with the toe of her shoe. "Is that all you like about me? My eyes?"An uncontrollable grin spreads over his face because there are so very many things he likes about Astoria, inside and out. But tonight's about outside, isn't it?"I may have noticed a few other things," he says, letting himself glance down at the curve of her breasts, the dip of her cleavage. Trying to see her as if for the first time. He wonders what it's going to be like to pretend he doesn't already know her body, and for her to act as though she doesn't know his. Both nervous and eager, he shifts in arousal.She stifles a giggle that turns into an adorable little snort. "You really think you're something, don't you? Talking to a girl like that?" She recrosses her legs, and gives a little something away in how she presses them together.His mouth wants to say You started it as they always say to each other when play-fighting, but he has to find other words, new words, not the comfortable wheel-ruts of five years of marriage. "I wouldn't if I didn't think you were the kind of girl who liked it," he manages at last, allowing himself a bit of a smirk.She lets out a delighted half-laugh, half-shout. "Cheeky bastard! As if you know what kind of girl I am.""I think I've some idea." With just enough hesitation to make it plausible, he reaches over and touches her bare knee, traces his fingertips slowly up to the hem of her dress. She gasps and bites her lip, expression caught between shock and pleasure.He thinks he can feel other people's eyes upon them, judging her, judging him. His breath is coming quicker, heart pounding, his trousers starting to get tight. "Tell me I'm wrong," he says.Her voice comes out hoarse. "I wouldn't go that far."He's leaning in closer, letting his touch slide towards her inner thigh. "How far would you go?"She closes her eyes; he sees her shiver. With his other hand, he tucks that stray lock behind her ear, feeling at last the familiar softness of his wife's hair.He whispers in her ear: "Let's get out of here."
11256852	His Music Her Melody	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": "F/M", "Characters": "Christine Daaé, Erik \| Phantom of the Opera, Gerard Carriere", "Fandom": null, "Language": "English", "Rating": "Explicit", "author": "by blacklightroses", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-20T00:00:00", "words": "3,728", "Additional Tags": "Romance, Drama, Non-Graphic Violence, Eventual Smut, Emotional Hurt/Comfort", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "Christine Daaé/Erik \| Phantom of the Opera, Christine Daaé & Erik \| Phantom of the Opera", "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": "Le Fantôme de l'Opéra \| Phantom of the Opera & Related Fandoms, The Phantom of the Opera (TV 1990)", "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	All was quiet. Nothing spoke in the caverns but the trickling of water in the nearby underground lake. I lay in the fake grass of his fake forest, silently dreaming. I dreamed I was with my dear Philip again. He was watching me, laughing with me, enjoying my silent company. All was well in our life until a shadow surrounded us, separating me from him. I feared for our life, trying to grasp Philip’s hand, but met nothing but cold air. I saw him in the distance, talking with another woman. I tried to call for him, but he couldn’t hear or see me. He leaned close and kissed her full on the mouth. I let out a shriek of fright as a set of strong arms gripped my sides, pulling me close to a flat chest. Gloved fingers brushed through my golden curls as a voice whispered, “What did I tell you, Christine?” I shook to the core. That voice! My maestro, my angel, Erik was here, watching me! I silently cried as I felt him pull me into the darkness with him. He murmured in my ear, “Don’t be afraid. I promised you I would protect you forever...” A resounding crash echoed throughout the caverns, halting the horrid nightmare. I opened my eyes to see only the darkness. He wasn’t there. I sat up and looked around, afraid of what might jump out, if there was anything real in this dreamed landscape.I remembered, I asked to see his face. He couldn’t, explaining it was the one thing he couldn’t do for me. He warned me that if I saw it, I could never leave. I told him I would love him and that if he truly loved me, he had to show me his face. I would never stop asking until he would tell me he didn’t love me anymore. Erik looked down, then back up at me. His golden eyes were filled with fear, but he reluctantly loosened the ties to his mask and pulled it away. My eyes drank in his face, then I felt darkness take me...I put my head in my hands, silently crying. He wouldn’t keep me here forever, would he? I had to find him, tell him I still loved him in spite of the horror that was his face. I stood on my feet, still shaken as I followed the sound of rips and crashes that came from the underground home.“Maestro?” I whispered. I was too quiet, he couldn’t hear me. I called louder, trying to sound brave, “Maestro? Where are you?”I felt a large hand grab my thin wrist, pulling me toward the now tattered curtains that hung in shreds from the wall. My teacher, mon ange, was no longer the man I knew. His golden eyes reflected pain, terror, and hate all in one. He growled with self-loathing when I gave a cry out. Behind the black mask, there was nothing of my dear teacher left; he chose the opera ghost persona for this situation.He pulled me to a small, black iron prison-like cage that sat deep within his home. He gripped my shoulders tightly, snarling in a deep voice, “Now you’ve seen me Christine. I can never let you leave because you have seen my face! I will keep you here forever as those are my rules! And my rules are law in this opera house!”I was pushed into the cage, tumbling to the floor as he locked it. The key dangled around his wrist, whispering freedom before turning from me. “Please, Maestro!” I cried, sobbing like a child, “Let me out! Please! I won’t leave you again!”He was gone, leaving me to cry and lost in my thoughts as he continued his rampage until almost everything in his secret home was destroyed. I was frightened by his strength as he pushed a large statue into the lake. Slipping my hands between the bars, I tried to open the cage’s door. Without the key, I soon gave up trying to free myself. I fell to the ground, sobbing with my hands still pressed to the bars of the cage.*It felt like hours had passed when he came to me again. His white mask was set in place and his eyes held regret. Gerard had warned me of his temper and I knew now what he meant. Erik released the cage door and slowly reached toward me. His hands were covered by the white gloves again and no longer held anger in his yellow eyes.My hand shook as I gently took it. He helped me from his prison, clutching me to his chest, stroking my golden curls. “Oh god Christine,” his angelic voice cracked, “What have I done?”I never gave him an answer. Instead, I wrapped my arms around his neck as he lifted me into his strong arms where I felt completely safe, much like the night before when my voice refused to sing Margarita’s notes. I felt him carry me to a room.I had not seen it before. It was larger than the one I stayed in that was down the hall; the walls were covered in pale creams and blues and the stone floors shielded by beautiful plush rugs. A little ways away, an open door led into a small bathroom with tiled floors and walls. I never actually saw what was in there because my eyes were trapped by the large king sized bed along the wall. At least three sets of pillows rested on the headboard, covered in soft pale cream velvet. The cream-colored blankets were adorned with gold thread, creating forest-like embroidery. Another white silk curtain surrounded it.“I’m so sorry, Christine,” Erik whispered, setting me on top of the bed, “I didn’t mean to scare you so badly. Because you said you loved me, I can’t let you go. I will never let you go again, even if you want me to.”“I don’t want to leave!” I protested, grasping his hand when he turned away, “Please, I want you here… with me. I-I’m afraid of what this feeling in my heart is. I-I don’t...”He turned and sat on the bed, pulling my frail body into his arms. His fingertips slid up and down my spine as I sighed in contentment. I finally understood; I needed him to continue living. I hummed quietly when he rested his head under my chin. Erik needed me as much as I needed him. Our souls were connected in some super-natural way; without them – we would have never known about each other or never have met. I silently thanked God for bring this man into my life. I sang quietly while gripping him tighter to me. He lifted his head to gaze up, his golden eyes sparkled from the tears he cried at the kindness I had given him.“Don’t cry,” I whispered, longing to pull that horrid mask away and wipe away those tears, “It probably hurts when tears get stuck under there.”“It does,” he sighed, placing me to lie on the bed again, “My mother told me that once when I was only three.”I smiled, resting my hands against his masked cheeks. He sighed before pulling away, muttering, “I know my anger has caused much distress. I need to fix a few things and I’m sure you’ll want to rest after your ordeal in the cage. I will leave you alone for a while. Please, rest Christine.”“Don’t leave me, Erik-”My teacher looked at me with surprise. He sat on the bed, his golden eyes locked with mine and asked, “How do you know my name?”“Gerard told me about you. He came to the house while you were away and told me about your mother, and you. I’m so sorry-”He pulled me into his arms again, stretching out on the bed beside me. After a while, he pulled me onto his chest and ensnared my small hands in his large covered ones. I tucked my head under his chin as we rested, breathing together. I felt at home, more so than with the Comte de Changy.*I woke to feel Erik caressing my cheek. His white gloves were off and his cool fingertips gently grazed down from the side of my temple to my jaw. When his thumb crossed my lips, I kissed it, trying to envision his lips instead. “Christine?” he mumbled into my hair.“Yes?”“A-are you okay?”I looked into those golden eyes again. They pleaded for acceptance and love. He loved me, everything that was uniquely me he loved. His hands fondled and twisted through my curls, wrapping them around his fingers and breathed in the scent, sighing in content. My little hand grasped one of his large hands and slowly brought it to my mouth, kissing the knuckle. Erik moaned at my touch.He gathered me close again. I wrapped my fingers around his arm, holding it to my chest. I sighed, contented with our state. Erik shifted slightly when I felt a pounding of sorts at the small of my back. I turned in his arms as the throbbing pushed into me. My eyes widened when I felt his need against me. He must have realized it too. He pulled away from me muttering, “I’m sorry.”“Please, Erik,” I called back, grasping his hand again.“I can’t,” he started, “I can’t Christine. I love you. I could never hurt you; I wish I had the strength to make you mine. But, you’re afraid...”“No, I’m not,” I whispered, pulling him down for a kiss, “I don’t fear you anymore, Erik. Please, love me as I love you.”We kissed and I couldn’t remember being happier. His lips were soft and cool, breathing warm air into my mouth when I parted my lips for the briefest of moments. His hands slipped to my waist, pressing me close to him. My hands grasped at his silky hair as I began to breathe in gasps of pleasure. Erik traveled from lips to jaw and down my neck, leaving a slick trail from his moist kisses.As he did this, I played with his hair; it was slightly curled and puffed out in some places. I buried my fingertips in his soft locks, massaging his scalp as he growled. I felt the knot of the cord that held the mask in place and began to work on it, untying the strings as to see the face of my lover again.He felt what I was doing and pulled back, shaking his head, “N-No, Christine. You-you fainted of fright, I won’t allow that to happen again.“Erik,” I grasped his face and pulled it close to mine, whispering, “I promise to always be beside you and my heart will be yours forever. In exchange for your love, I won’t shrink away when you place your face on display for me. I want to learn to love the man behind the mask.”He stared at me, trying to find the lie behind my eyes. He saw only the truth, the honest truth of my soul and allowed me to remove the final barrier between our love. True to my word, I looked upon that face that was so uniquely his and I did not shrink away. I smiled, feeling my heart flutter in my chest, filling with adoration and passion.His face was unlike anything I had ever seen. A gaping hole where a nose should have been, eyes covered in black to hide how deep they truly sunk in, and the skin was soft and smooth- although it was pale and neglected, deprived of light in the darkness he called home. I traced the outline of his face, gently stroking the sideburns on his cheeks.I cupped his face again and placed my lips on his forehead as his eyes closed and allowed me to kiss each malformed piece of skin that I previously touched. I traveled from his forehead to temple, to cheek, to eyelid. I ended at the missing portion of his nose and landed on his lips for another kiss. He grunted, pulling me close again, searching for my dress’ strings.The white gown fell away revealing a corset, camisole, and stockings. Erik tugged at the corset before it finally gave away and reached for my left leg. He kissed the soft pale skin while removing my stocking. When he finished, he did the same to my right. As he pulled back, a smile was set on his lips. I beamed back, reaching forward to unhook his cloak. The over-jacket followed, and then his golden velvet vest fell to the floor. Erik kicked off his boots as I reached for his cumber-bund. It took awhile to figure out how to get it off, but I finally pulled it away as Erik laughed softly, kissing my shoulder. The belt with the engraved buckle fell on the vest as I made work of opening up his shirt. Erik pulled it off, revealing a strong chest.I blushed brilliantly. I never expected him to be so... heavenly. His pale skin etched with sculpted muscles. I turned my head away, nervous at seeing a shirtless man for the first time. Erik’s hands cupped my face, handling me so gently that I looked into those eyes that were uniquely his. He kissed me, branding his lips down my throat again as he sighed, “Is something wrong, Christine?”“N-No, I-I-I...” I was sputtering like a girl who met her first childhood sweetheart, “I d-didn’t expect... this.”“Don’t be afraid, Christine,” he murmured, wrapping his arms around my waist, pulling me close as he began another series of breathless kisses, “I want you to stay with me. If we must stop, say the word and I will stop. Just tell me what you want...”I cried out, kissing him with full force. Not to know the true extent of his love was unbearable. I pulled him down for more frantic kisses. Erik chuckled at my eagerness and untied my camisole ribbon, pulling it over my head. Instinct took over as I clasped my hands over my breasts. I knew they were small and I feared for what he would think.“Come, Christine,” his voice soothed, “let me see.”As his hands pulled mine away, his golden eyes quietly looked over them. I closed my eyes so I wouldn’t see the scrutiny on his face. All was quiet, then I felt wetness on one of the peaks.I peeked open one eye to see Erik kissing the fruit I bore from him alone. Suddenly, he captured it in the cavern of his mouth. I groaned at the sensation of his tongue flicking across the hardening peak. A whimper of need passed my lips when he abandoned it, moving to the other. A shiver ran down my spine as his hands massaged them, even as his mouth traveled lower.My pantaloons were my last defense from his prying eyes. His thumbs hooked under the waistband and gently pulled them down and off, revealing a patch of curly golden hair, hiding my most feminine part from the world. Erik took my waist in his hands, pulling me close. I gasped with a sensation I couldn’t explain as he knelt before me, spreading my thighs apart. He pressed his lips inside and I couldn’t contain the guttural cry that left my mouth. His lips and tongue teased me mercilessly, seeking desire from within. My hips began to shift against his lips on their own as I whimpered in fright.Erik stopped suddenly and gathered my shaking body in his arms. He tangled his fingers in my hair, close to my face, catching my sob in his lips. He heard my fear and understood why. Erik slowly rocked me like a child, whispering, “Don’t cry, petite. I would never hurt you, I promise.”“I-I’m just afraid of the p-pain that will come, a-ange. I-I’m so nervous, I’ve n-never done this before.”“Don’t be,” he murmured as I looked into his eyes. I saw desire cloud in his eyes, but there was fear too. He was afraid of hurting me. He smiled and murmured, “I’m- it’s my first time too Christine... don’t cry, please. It pains me to see you like this...”Hearing him say it aloud calmed my nerves. We were both on the same page, both experiencing our first time with each other, and both so deeply in love we couldn’t bare to be without the other. Erik sensed my relief and lowered to the ground again. He smiled and softly explained what he was about to do.I felt his mouth kiss the insides of my legs, slowly traveling to my opening. His lips met it with a gentle kiss as I shuddered with want. His tongue licked me before a shudder pulled something from within me. I felt myself shatter in his arms as Erik continued to work at my center before gazing back at me, smiling in satisfaction.“A worthy performance, my love,” he approved, standing. I lay back on the bed, catching my breath as he suddenly removed the last bit of clothing.I let out a breathy gasp at the sight of his full body. His size was concerning, he was big. I shook to the core, breathing out, “Can you even... you know?”Erik chuckled quietly, answering, “I was made to fit inside, Christine. We were made for each other, two halves of a whole.”I quivered with excitement as he joined me on the bed, resting atop of my body. We remained like this, quivering with pleasure and need as skin touched skin for the first time.Erik placed his lips on mine again before seizing one of my hands, lowering it to himself. He was thick and hard, throbbing with need under my touch. “I don’t know how...” I whispered, never having the privilege to hold or touch a man’s body before.He grunted before wrapping his hand around mine, showing me how. My hand moved up and down with his, until he had to let go, afraid he would drop his full weight atop of me. The continued feeling of need throbbed under my fingertips as I continued to work at him. Erik’s face contorted with pleasure when he suddenly gave a shout as I felt him squirt onto my hand. “Sorry,” he murmured, grabbing a handkerchief to wipe off his seed on my hand, “I’ve never wanted anyone so badly until I met you. Please Christine, don’t push me away with your fear. I couldn’t stand it if you left me now...”I surprised him. I pulled his face back to mine as our lips again met in a kiss, more passionate compared to the others given. His tongue dove inward, sending tingles down my body as he tasted me, wrapping his tongue around my own. I clutched his shoulders and spread my legs, inviting him inside.He probed me gently before sinking in, finding the barrier that separated me from him. He pulled out almost completely and pushed roughly back in, breaking the barrier. I let out a cry, gripping him tightly. The pain was unbearable. I closed my eyes, hoping the ache between my legs would soon end. Erik tried to keep still; he knew I was still frightened of what I felt. Tears streamed down my cheeks and I felt his hand slowly gather them up. As moments passed, I felt whole. It was as if a part of me had been missing until Erik came into my life. I realized that only my Erik, my maestro, my angel, could make feel like this. I moved my hips slightly, searching for any lingering pain when an agonizing moan met my ears.I opened my eyes to see Erik, still as a statue, crying. I took his mangled face in my little hands, bring it close so I could pepper him with kisses of adoration. He met my eyes, whispering, “I’m s-sorry, Christine. I-I promised...”“It’s okay Erik. Please,” I lifted my hips slightly, “make love to me.”He growled low, catching my hips in his hands, and set on pushing hard and deep within me. My legs wrapped around his waist as my hands clung to his neck while he continued his thrusts into my womb. I sighed contentedly as tears streamed again, resting on the blankets of the bed. My maestro pushed and thrust his way into me, capturing my lips with gentle kisses. He lowered his lips again to my neck, pressing them to the heartbeat that pounded only for him.Something began to build between us. Something so powerful it threatened to break through and consume me and my soul. I whimpered aloud and gripped Erik tighter as it came nearer. “A little more, Christine, just a little more,” he whispered, pushing harder and harder, until I finally snapped completely, arching my body toward heaven.Stars broke out behind my eyes and a wave of relaxation washed over me as his warm seed spilled inside. I felt as if I was floating on air, with him beside me. What seemed like an eternity passed before I was able to open my eyes, searching for Erik.He was resting on me, still sheathed inside. His breathing was shallow and fast. His eyes opened and gazed up at me, smiling brokenly. I touched his face, that horrible face I once fainted in front of only hours ago. Erik shifted off to lie beside me, pressing kisses to my small hand.“Are you alright?” he asked, looking at me.“Yes,” I whispered, kissing him, “I’m fine, a little sore though.”“I adore you, Christine,” he murmured, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulled me close. Erik pulled the coverlet over our twisted bodies, pressing another kiss to my swollen lips before asking, “Will you marry me?”“Yes, Erik. I will marry you.”He smiled, holding me to his chest. I felt his heartbeat pound in my ear, the heart that was now mine. I closed my eyes as I heard him whisper, “Sleep, love. When you awake, I’ll be here with you.”“Promise?” I mumbled sleepily.“Always Christine...”
11279043	Liberated	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": "F/M", "Characters": "Female Ryder \| Sara, Reyes Vidal, Sloane Kelly", "Fandom": "Mass Effect: Andromeda", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Mature", "author": "by orphan_account", "chapters": "2/?", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-23T00:00:00", "words": "1,978", "Additional Tags": "I will add other characters as I see fit, mentions of abuse in later chapters., Rapunzel AU, not your fairy tale, not my fairy tale, Captured, Imprisonment, Kidnapped, twenty-two years missing, Princess - Freeform, King - Freeform", "Relationship": "Female Ryder \| Sara/Reyes Vidal", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Reyes Vidal did not like being in castles. He didn’t like the way guards watched him with a careful eye or how they thought they were secretly following him from room to room as if he would steal something.That was something he put long behind him when he realized that stealing would never get him the life he wanted. “Vidal, thank you for coming,” the man on the throne said. The man rose, coming down the steps to greet Reyes himself. “Thank you so much.”“Your Majesty,” Reyes said, bowing low.“Vidal, there’s no need for formality. My daughter was taken from me twenty-two years ago. I’ve tried searching every part of my kingdom. I’ve turned over stones and arrested people rumored to be responsible.” The king clenched his fist. “I want her found. Do you understand? I want my baby girl back.”“Your majesty, if she was taken twenty-two years ago,” Reyes said, running a hand down over his mouth, “why haven’t you found her yet?” That sounded pompous. It sounded rude. He certainly hoped it wouldn’t come across as such.“I have searched every stretch of this kingdom with every bit of manpower I can get. I have pulled in every man or woman who has been possibly seen with my daughter. Do you truly believe I haven’t done everything I can to find her?” Sentence by sentence, he grew more and more agitated. The king started to pace, running his hands through his hair and then in the empty space in front of him. “Please I’m desperate.”Smuggling is how Reyes made ends meet. It certainly wasn’t stealing, but it was still a criminal activity. Did he really want an ex-thief finding his daughter? Easiest job ever. She was probably dead. After a few weeks of searching, he’ll go to the king with a teary eye and tell him that he couldn’t possibly find his daughter. Then he’ll get his payment and go into hiding for a few months with Zia and some alcohol. A few drinks, a few hours with fondling, and out the door she went.“Please tell me what you know,” Reyes said, placing a sympathizing hand on the king’s shoulder. So the king recounted that night twenty-two years ago. His wife, who was still alive then, woke to find the baby missing from her bed and the window was open. “She was only a year old.”Reyes nodded. “Her name?”“Iliana. Iliana Ryder.”Reyes was given half of the payment right there. He was escorted out of the castle and into the bustling village square. It felt more like he was being thrown out rather than respectfully walked out.Fine. That was fine. He seriously needed a drink. Reyes attached the bag of gold coins to his belt and entered the tavern. “Some ale please,” he yelled over the din of noise. The man behind the bar passed him a tankard of ale. Reyes found a corner to sit and think. Princess Iliana Ryder had been missing for twenty-two years. Twenty-two years. She was dead. Had to be. There was no way in hell Iliana survived this entire time...unless…No. It couldn’t be.Reyes abandoned his drink on the table and went back to the bar. He slid two gold coins across the counter with the question, “Does a woman named Sloane Kelly inhabit this town?”The man leaned across the counter to whisper the answer in his ear. What Reyes was told sent cold chills down to the bottom of his feet. He turned around, leaned against the edge--annoying patrons around him--placed a hand on his face and sighed. Now he would have to find the damn girl or she would end up worse than dead. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Rapunzel was up before Mother, cooked her breakfast and brought her tea in bed. The tall woman, whose mismatched eyes bore into her very soul, took the tea from her without a word. “Breakfast is ready,” the young woman said quietly. Mother only nodded and dismissed her. Unsure of what to do next, she grabbed her hook and yarn. She sat at the window and continued to crochet her blanket. It was a labor of love when she started to shake around Mother. The woman loved her, that Rapunzel could tell. But Mother showed her love funny. Dark, purple circles peppered her body, but she was careful not to say anything about it. It didn’t matter how much it hurt her to move her body or perform basic tasks. Mother came tromping down the stairs fully dressed, ignoring the breakfast Rapunzel had set out on the table. “I am going into town for a while. I expect this place to be as spotless as it is now when I get back.” The young woman nodded. Mother gripped the handle of her basket with tight fingers. “Hair,” she snapped. Rapunzel, careful not to piss off her mother anymore than she already had, slung her brown hair over the hook right outside the curved window. She watched the woman deftly scale the side of the tower, felt the tug of her hair to pull it back up. Rapunzel sat against the wall, too heavy to move. The young woman shed her dress to stare at herself in the mirror. She was tiny, pale and skinny. Bright purple bruises spotted her body. Some in the shape of fingerprints, others the size of an orange. Maybe a few of them would fully heal in Mother’s absence. She had a plan to run away. Use her hair the way Mother did, but just thinking of it had her body vibrating in fear. Where would she go? Or who would she run into? Rapunzel liked to pretend she was some lost daughter and Mother wasn’t her biological parent. Still shaking, Rapunzel whipped away the rug, throwing it into a corner. A crude charcoal drawing underneath showed her bedroom, the kitchen and her latrine. Lines showed where she would head first-straight into the bedroom-a tangled mess showing her haste in putting clothes in her knapsack, then the kitchen for food and then out the window. Would her hair hold tied to the hook? The only difference in her and Mother using it, Rapunzel was used like an anchor on the other end. But would Mother find her if she disappeared? Before she went out that window down the rope of her own hair, she sat very, very still in the middle of the room, right on top of her map and stared off into space, panicking very quietly to herself. If the bruises were anything to go by, if she went missing and Mother caught up to her… she was scared to find out what the woman would do. But if she stayed… Rapunzel ran around in a mild panic, filling the knapsack of food and the only other dress she owned. Grabbing her knapsack and tying it to her waist, Rapunzel cut her hair at the chin before she could change her mind and tied the heavy cord to a lantern post above the window-she desperately hoped it would hold-and jumped, scaling the side of her tower. A dark haired man sat on a horse at the bottom, gaping at her as her bare feet finally touched grass, "Well... I was going to rescue you," he said after a moment of silence. “Bit slow on the uptake aren’t you?” Rapunzel asked, glaring at him. She half expected the rest of her hair to thump behind her. The airy, lightness of her head was a new sensation for her and she couldn’t decide if she liked it or not. “I think I was going to rescue you,” the man muttered to himself. He brought out a rolled parchment, unrolled it and scrutinized it while glancing at her. Rapunzel backed away, wishing she’d brought a heavy pan with her or something. She had no weapon against this crazy man. “Well, were you or weren’t you? There isn’t a ‘maybe’ in this case.” The man swung off his horse. He approached her, she backed away, he thought better of it and backed off. “Is your name Iliana?” “Pretty, but no. Name’s Rapunzel. Look, crazy, I need to get out of here before Mother comes back and locks me up in that tower again. Can you take me to the next town?” The man scrutinized her again. “You...ah,” the man said, rolling the parchment again. “I need you to come with me.” “No, I don’t know you and I need to get out of here.” Rapunzel looked around as if Mother was going to pop out of the heavily dense woods. If Crazy wasn’t going to help her, then she would have to help herself. Rapunzel was by no means a strong or big woman. She barely topped 5’3” and at a hundred and four pounds, she wasn’t doing any heavy lifting. So when she pushed on Crazy’s chest and he stumbled back, she was surprised it worked. But it didn’t keep her rooted for long. Rapunzel clambered into the saddle, barely holding on when the horse registered her weight. “See ya!” she yelled with a whoop. Now if only she could control the horse. It continued galloping, whacking her with branches and leaves. Scratches appeared on her arms, drops of blood staining her dress. Rapunzel tried to pull at the strings but no response. “Crap, crap, crap!” Luckily her knapsack was attached to her or she would’ve lost it already. “Stop! Please stop!” Rapunzel kicked the horse’s sides in rhythm to her words. The horse suddenly reared. Rapunzel was thrown from the saddle, landing on her back heavily. It knocked the breath from and she lay there wheezing. “Are you crazy?” Crazy asked as he ran up behind her. If he caught up wit her, then she hadn’t gone very far. Crap… “No. I need to escape and not gallivant off into the woods with some unknown man,” Rapunzel wheezed, standing up with difficulty. “Do you underst-” There were things she would tell him, but the bruises underneath her dress would remain her secret. She stood up to her full height, which wasn’t much. The man in front of her had golden skin, golden brown eyes and black hair. He wore two daggers on his belt. How quickly could she get to the weapon before he killed her? “I’m not going to harm you,” the man said, as if reading her mind. “I don’t know that.” “My name is Reyes Vidal. I was sent by the king to-” “I don’t care what you were sent by to who to do what. I want to get out of here. I want away from that tower.” Rapunzel felt for anything that could be used as a weapon. Why didn’t she grab something heavy from the towel? She dug in the knapsack, her hand wrapping around something hard and round. It was an apple. An apple was not going to hurt him. “Please. I am looking for someone.” “Haven’t you noticed I was locked in a tower? I cut off my own hair to get out of it. The last thing I want to do is help you look for someone.” Rapunzel sighed, put the apple away and started to walk away from him. “The closest town is about three days away,” Reyes said. Rapunzel stopped as if he stepped on her now non-existent hair. “It’s what?” “Look, I’m being paid to look for a young girl. And she could be in danger. You need to get to town. I’ll take you there, but you have to help me find her.” Rapunzel closed her eyes. If he ever laid a hand on her, she could always take his dagger and… “Yeah, alright.” A smile ghosted across Reyes’ face for a moment.
11254332	Rachels Job Sucks	{ "Archive Warning": "Major Character Death", "Category": null, "Characters": "Cassandra, Stephen, Rachel, Theresa", "Fandom": null, "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by Skye_Kahoalii", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-20T00:00:00", "words": "1,580", "Additional Tags": null, "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "Rachel/Alex/Lorelei, Rachel/Theresa", "Series": "Further Adventures", "Collections": null, "Fandoms": "Good Intentions Series - Elliott Kay, Books and Literature - Fandom", "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": "Multi, F/M, Gen", "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Cassandra had run and failed. All the other captives of that vast middle realm called Purgatory had warned her of the futility of such action, but her terror at having to submit to Him for a year had known no bounds. She had desperately plotted though, with much of the cunning her kind was known for, and escaped at the first opportunity. The proctors, however, were closing in on her hiding place behind construction debris on the top floor of the long-unfinished building. She could hear the heavy tramp of their boots as they methodically quartered each floor’s bare spaces. A single tear squeezed from beneath the lid of her left eye, the green one, as she hugged her knees and cowered. It was unthinkable to have to give herself to Him as the Law of The Book dictated, so she had run - pointlessly it seemed - now that her recapture was imminent. She would be forced into the fate she knew would break her.Her breathing hitched and she tried to shrink herself into nothingness, as though the searching proctors would not scent her fear for all her tight-lipped silence. Suddenly, the broken pieces of wallboard she had been crouched under were ripped away and the cat-eye pupils of the lead proctor stared down at her. Her eyes rounded, one green and one blue, and she opened her mouth to shriek but found her throat in his grasp in an instant. Any sound she might have made was cut off as he lifted her bodily from her hiding place and pinned her to the wall. Her fingers clawed automatically over the gloved fist she struggled against.“Put your feet against my legs, girl,” he commanded. “I’ve no wish to choke you.” She complied, disbelieving, even as her hands pulled uselessly at his fingers. As her bare feet pushed against his hard muscled thighs she felt the pressure ease on her throat, realizing his fingers merely cupped her neck to the wall, they did not curl and squeeze. She pushed up further, and found she could slide a bit in his grasp. She stared at him, wide-eyed as he asked her his next question.“You knew it useless to run, girl. Why did you?”She blinked at him. Why was he asking her this? Surely she could not be taken back to Him to serve her term as concubine, now. Not after they had....Instead, she would be cast up, to have her fine leathery wings replaced with those horrid, white-feathered ones. Her horns would be ground off, and worst of all, her tail would be taken! Her beautiful sinuous tail, lopped off as if she were some docile mortal show dog. Her eyes blazed suddenly, and she breathed in deeply as though she would spew the fire that also marked her kind all over the proctor’s masked features...as if that would do any good. Finally, her shoulders slumped and she sagged, defeated.“I...I cannot serve Him, Proctor.” Her soft words were tinged with despair. “He...He is...He is too...Good.”She could tell the proctor smiled grimly behind his iron facade. Her admission had cost her, and she knew he knew that. She bowed her head and another tear left her eye, following the glistening trail of the first.“I would be corrupted forever...for eternity...with his taint. I would never be able to return to The Pit. Should I be cast down, I would be as the damned are there. The lowest of the low. Lower.”Her words held only traces of bitterness, the fire of her defiance gone. She looked to him with a final plea for succor.“I would that you kill me now than return me and condemn me to such a fate.”“You knew this had been decreed, even before your birth in The Pit, Cassandra. Your fate was to serve your year and preserve The Balance. I...I cannot help you.” His hesitation showed his own struggle with his duties.“Stephen!” Her exclamation of his name sent heat and greater despair through them both.“Please!” She implored him, her voice cracking. “You love me! You told me!”Each tortured phrase she uttered battered his impassive features as though they were boulders flung against a castle wall.He shook his head once more, although it was clear her words affected him. A lone shudder ran through his massive frame as he gathered her easily into his remaining three arms, cradling her as he would a small child. The tattered white shift that barely provided for modesty made her seem even more forlorn, her fight gone and her petite body wracked with open sobs.He carried her to the stairwell, as the glow of the Third Hosts' ethereal beings chased the darkness from the hollow, winding space. As the first angel appeared, Cassandra hid her face in the proctor’s shoulder, unable to bear the light from the halo that hovered above the angel’s unearthly beauty. Her face solemn, the young looking blond-haired angel held her arms out and he deposited the distraught succubus into them.“Thank you, Proctor Stephen.” Her melodic tones were nonetheless grave as she took her charge. Other angels came to surround her and the taken demon, their gazes equally somber. “He will be pleased and grateful you have found her and returned her unharmed.” Stephen nodded once, but did not turn away at her gentle dismissal. Noting his unmoving stance, the angel carrying the now quiet young succubus queried him.“Proctor? You would speak?”“She...is not pure.” he replied quietly, his demeanor turning to one of regret, yet a slight defiance crept into his stance.The angel’s eyes widened. “You know this? How?” She turned to hand off the crimson-skinned girl to another angel and stepped up to the proctor. “How do you know this, Proctor Stephen?”“Because I am the one who sullied her.”The angel stared at him in disbelief. “You know this is forbidden! Those chosen must be as though just born, in their purest form of potential evil, or there will be no redemption!” she cried. “Do you know what you have done!?”The angel, Rachel, was aghast. She turned, shaking her head and stepped away from him, then whirled back to face him. “There is no predicting her fate now. I cannot imagine what He will decide.” Rachel shook her head again in shock and disbelief. “And you! You have disgraced yourself and will be cast down!” she fairly shouted at him.“I know, angel.”His calm reply took her anger and she regarded him more carefully. “You act as though such a fate is not the damnation that it is.”“I only know what was given and taken was done from the hearts of each, angel. There was no intention to ruin her term with Him.”He went quiet and she pondered his words. Turning to the angel who carried the girl, Rachel gestured to her to return the succubus to the care of the proctor. His cat-eye pupils dilated fully but soon restricted themselves down to focused slits once more. He took Cassandra gently from the second angel, and cradled her tenderly against his chest. She looked up at him hopefully, but he shook his head almost imperceptibly and she buried her face in his shoulder and sobbed. Nodding his head at the lead angel, he watched as she lifted her right hand, a tongue of flame growing from her palm and turning into a great flaming sword. She held it aloft for a moment, then leveled it and drove it mightily through both of them, unerringly finding their hearts with one searing thrust.Rachel held it there, watching sadly as the two bodies ignited and burned hotly, so hotly she would have turned away if it were not her duty to witness these two souls’ absolution. She caught sight of them, leaving the bodies of the two lovers who never should have found one another, soaring entwined as they rose to be rejoined with the Maker. Possibly they might be reborn, perhaps to find one another again under circumstances where their love could flourish. She could only hope, and sent a prayer after them as they disappeared. After the bodies crumbled into ash, she let her sword retract into her palm and lowered her arm, breathing heavily.“Fuck.” she muttered bitterly.“Rachel?” asked the angel who had also carried the vanquished succubus.“Not now, Theresa,” Rachel answered irritably. “This is a fucking shit-sucking clusterfuck!!” she stormed as the other angels looked on with horror at her language. She looked around at her companions. “I’m sorry,” she huffed, “but I regress when I have to do things like this where the rules should have some leeway! This was Love! They should never have suffered this consequence because they fell in love. I have not had to pay. Why did they have to?”“Their bond did not occur because of mortal interference as did yours, Rachel,” answered Theresa evenly. “You know this.”“Knowing the difference doesn’t make their fate acceptable,” Rachel retorted. “Anyway, fuck it. It’s done. You guys do the report and handle returning the proctors. I have to get home to Lorelei and Alex, because this fucking shit sucks.”With that she turned to the nearest wall and faded through it, before spreading her great white wings and heading west back towards Seattle. She needed to get back home.
11261697	Life In Plastic Its	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": null, "Characters": "Castiel, Dean Winchester", "Fandom": "Supernatural", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by Ajacentlee", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-21T00:00:00", "words": "1,845", "Additional Tags": "barbie!AU, Fluff and Crack", "Relationship": "Castiel/Dean Winchester", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": "Gen, M/M", "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Some days Dean’s name is Philip. Others, it’s Ryan, Stacey, Adam, or his personal favorite, Butt face. Dean puts up with it because let’s face it; his job’s not a bad gig. Some days he’s a cop that happens to fight crime for the delightful city of Sunnyvale, or a doctor that performs open heart surgeries on Theresa, Christie, and sometimes even Barbie. Theresa’s been a fan favorite lately though. Sometimes, he’s even an astronaut that lands on the moon beside another fellow astronaut. The only time his job gets bad is when they involve the Cabbage Patch Kids. When those suckers bump heads with you, it hurts. He takes his job with a grain of salt, because what else can he do. He’s a child’s plaything. He’s suppose to be devoid of all emotions. Whoever said toys don’t feel is a liar. Which brings him to his next point. Dean had an actual owner, once. He wonders how he is now, but it’s a lost cause, so he doesn’t wonder long. Now he’s a permanent resident of Kids Connect Daycare Center. He’s met a lot of wonderful…beings here that he likes to call family. The dinosaur in the history center tells some pretty awesome jokes every now and then. Polly Pocket is one of his “best friends” whenever she lets him use her gigantic pool. The little people who live in the kindergarten neighborhood across the room are secretly flying acrobats that entertain every Saturday night. Everything’s as good as it can be. Anyway, Dean was born, or purchased if you want to get technical, January 20, 2006. He was purchased by a woman named Kimberly Anne Dunkin. Kimberly was a good woman from what he can remember. She purchased Dean out of the kindness of her heart, and with some of her income tax. She told him when he was still in the box that he was worth every penny. She even mentioned something about him being a collectible, whatever that means. Then he was introduced to Mickey Dunkin. Dean remembers it clear as day. Kimberly had kept him clean with his box intact in the top of her closet. Mostly, Dean just slept to pass the time. He couldn’t do much with the strings and plastic pieces attached to him anyway. After a few days he was taken from the closet and wrapped in shiny paper. He doesn’t know what it's really called so he just settles for calling it shiny paper. He was unwrapped by a screaming laughing boy and put beside a power ranger’s birthday cake with a number 10 candle on it. He thought it was funny. The red ranger back at the store would have gotten a kick out of that, knowing that his mug graced birthday cakes and balloons. Soon after he was taken out of his box and his strings were detached. He was free or as free as he could be, and Mickey played with him all the time. It was fun, but not as fun as what he’s doing now. Mostly he was in war fighting behind enemy lines as Sergeant Winchester. Even though it scared a lot of Mickey's toys, it was his favorite game so Dean didn’t mind. Dean was always there for Mickey. When Mickey got an F on a math test, when he lost his dog Lucky, when he joined the little league team, now that was crucial he almost melted several times from being left in the front seat of Kimberly’s minivan, and when Mickey got his first kiss on the back of the bus, Dean was there for it all. He and Mickey were pals and they shared secrets that would have Kimberly rolling over dead. Mickey was quite the chick magnet. Mickey got older though and quit playing with Dean. Dean was put in the top of Mickey’s closet, especially when girls came over. Dean remained loyal though always moving himself when he could, putting himself in places Mickey would find him. It never worked and half the time he was tossed aside for Mickey’s homework or a quick makeout session before Kim came upstairs. When Mickey’s room started to change and boxes were carried from his room to his car, Dean knew it was time. It was time to move on from Mickey, and there would always be others. It was the only thing he kept telling himself to get by. So, when there was a flyer from a local daycare center about the kids there not having much to play with, Dean stepped up to the plate. Okay, he’s lying; he was more or less packed out in a brown box labeled donations, but who’s keeping up with the semantics. He didn’t blame Mickey though. He still loved him even after all they’ve been through. Mickey found another use for him and it made Dean happy to know that Mickey still cared enough to find him another home. Fitting in at the daycare center was easy for the most part, all the little girls wanted to play with Dean. He was a boy’s toy though so he never understood why. The first couple weeks he hated it, with a passion. They dressed him in dresses. In dresses! Every color too, pink, yellow, green, blue, you name it, Dean wore it. Dean was glad that trend went out the door not long after that. Now, here he is in a fireman's costume, being passed between small girls while trying to put out an invisible fire. He misses his old life sometimes, but the kids here need him. Dean never thought he would find love here either. He always had the occasional fling with Barbie during closing hours, but it wasn’t really love there. Plus, Ken’s been kind of MIA ever since eight year old Molly threw him on top of the lockers. Ken hasn’t come down since, and it’s only right Dean should keep Barbie company through this emotional time in her life. One day though Dean was minding his own business dressed in his cop uniform patrolling Sunnyvale, when along came Mr. Right. He happened to be the robber that day, and it was fun taking him downtown to the precinct. He’s never seen this doll before so he must be a new addition to the center. He had to know this doll's name so he could properly introduce himself. So, after hours when the lights went out Dean dragged himself out of his usual box and tip toed through the center. He found the new addition with a crayon in his hand standing on one of the tables. Dean wondered how the new addition got up there in the first place anyway. The table stands at least 30 feet from the ground. Dean put his hands around his mouth and whispered loudly “Hey?” The new addition startled and dropped the crayon in his hands. When Dean didn’t get an answer he whispered again in hopes that the new addition would talk to him. “How did you get up there anyway?” The new addition didn’t say anything he just pointed to a piece of yarn that was tied to the table. Dean grimaced at the thought of physical labor, he took both hands to the yarn and made his way up. Dean launched himself up onto the table with great struggle. The new addition sat with his hands in his lap observing Dean struggling to catch his breath. Dean looked at the table the new addition was happily doodling on before Dean interrupted his handy work. In one spot Cas wuz here was scribbled onto it in poor handwriting. “I like your art work. Is Cas short for something?” The new addition cleared his throat before giving a gravelly response of “Castiel.” Dean sat down next to Castiel and put his arm out for Castiel to accept. “I’m Dean. Welcome to Kids Connect Daycare Center.” Castiel accepted the offer and shook Dean's hand lazily. Dean retracted his hand away and smoothed down his spiky tresses. “So, how did you like the action today? Robber, huh? It’s crazy they would start you off like that. Most of the time the new dolls are labeled as the new favorites. They get the awesome jobs.” Castiel peered into Dean's eyes and dropped his gaze back towards the table. “I think it has a lot to do with my looks it screams danger to kids. I don’t know.” Dean laughs awkwardly as he thinks of another subject to change the tone of the conversation. “How are you liking it so far though? Has anyone introduced themselves besides me?” “Nope, you're the first one. I don’t mind being here though. It was better than the last place I was at. My last owner was a real piece of work. He was a freaky kid that liked to play with lighters and bugs. I’ll just leave the explanation at that.” Dean scratches his chin lightly. “I’ve been here for about a year or so. It’s not bad, you’ll get used to it.” Castiel stares out at the vastly spacious room. “I don’t think i’ll ever get used to it, Dean. I just want to be free.” That was the first of many conversations Dean had with the doll named Castiel. Pretty soon after that they became quite a pair. When Dean was played with, so was Castiel. Castiel was mostly labeled as the bad guy, but Dean cheered him up those days by stealing Barbie’s convertible and taking Cas for joyrides with a smile plastered on his face. Sometimes Castiel would have really bad days when the boys at the daycare center got a hold of him. They forced him to play war and cops and robbers until every child went home. They killed Castiel off every time, and it made him so depressed that he would hide himself before the boys could get to him. Dean eventually started noticing the patterns and helped Castiel find good hiding places like behind the Lincoln Logs, because who plays with Lincoln Logs? Dean knew that he was put in the daycare center for two reasons. The first being to make children happy and the second to look after and love Cas. Dean smiles to himself as he puts a plate of plastic spaghetti in front of Castiel. Castiel picks at the plate with his plastic fingers and hums in appreciation. Dean hears screaming in the distance and laughs. Barbie is so lucky to have everything handed to her including the dream house that Castiel and Dean are using at the moment to eat their dinner in. Too bad she’s wasting all of her time every night trying to get Ken down from the top of the lockers. Oh well, that’s just more things for Castiel and himself to indulge in as they live out their life together as children's playthings. Dean will do everything in his power to make sure that Castiel gets to live as free as he can possibly be.
11266113	All Thats Past	{ "Archive Warning": null, "Category": "F/M", "Characters": "Newt Scamander, Leta Lestrange, Tina Goldstein", "Fandom": "Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by KatieHavok", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-21T00:00:00", "words": "2,044", "Additional Tags": "Remembrance, Memories, Present Tense, Past Tense, Experimental Style, Pretentious, Newt's Expulsion, Hogwarts, Photographs, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, I Blame Tumblr, Headcanon, Tumblr Prompt, Post-Movie 1: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "Newt Scamander & Leta Lestrange, Tina Goldstein & Newt Scamander, Newt Scamander/Tina Goldstein, Leta Lestrange/Newt Scamander", "Series": "Breeding Lilacs", "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply", "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	When Newt was 11 years old, he left for Hogwarts with his older brother Theseus and a longing for something more.When Newt was 11 years old, he came across a first-year Slytherin sobbing broken-heartedly in the girl's lavatory. He asks if she’s alright, and she screams for him to leave. He has a hard time walking away from creatures in obvious pain though, so he stays; and when she finally comes out, she tells him that her name is, “Leta. Leta Lestrange. And you should have gone away when I asked because it’s really none of your business.”When Newt was 12 years old, he discovered that his new friend Leta has the same passion for magical creatures that he does. One Saturday, they get together to study in the library, intent on comparing Potions notes. Instead, they end up researching Jarveys and Erumpents until curfew, and part ways with a promise to meet again tomorrow.When Newt was 12 years old, he realized that he does have a friend and that it is a nice feeling...even if his friend is sometimes cruel. Leta has, he feels, good reason; he’s seen the shadows haunting her eyes when she returns from Christmas and Easter break; he knows first-hand the demands families place upon their offspring in the name of “purity.”When Newt was 13 years old, he realized that things were...changing. And not just with him. He’s gotten taller; his voice has altered, his body smells and feels differently. Leta, too, has changed, and all for the better: there are curves where there were none before, and the way she smiles seems to make his fingers and toes tingle.When Newt was 13 years old, he realized that he was, wholly and unequivocally, in love with his best friend. He isn’t sure how he feels about this, but he is sure that she likely doesn’t reciprocate. Leta only has eyes for Cephissus Avery, and their study session, more often than not, now consists of her researching spells and potions to catch his attention. The shadows behind her eyes, Newt notes, are deeper and darker than ever.When Newt was 14 years old, Leta returned from summer break with deeply sunken eyes, a smile as hard and cold as a midwinter's moon, and an air of brittle determination. “I won’t be bartered,” she seethes at him when he asks what’s bothering her. “I’m not cattle!”When Newt was 14 years old, he took her outdoors on an especially warm day and wove spring flowers through her hair. “Do you love me?” Leta asks, and he tells her that he does. “That’s good,” she whispers. "No matter what happens between us in the future, please remember that.” He agrees to remember (in truth, he’s convinced he could not ever forget) and she kisses him there by the lake, with the scent of mountain avens in his nose and her fingers on his jaw.When Newt was 15 years old, Leta returns from summer break with an engagement ring on her finger. “Abraxas Malfoy,” she tells him in a strange, hollow voice. Then she smiles, and he shivers at the emptiness behind her eyes, the lingering traces of bruises around her delicate mouth. “Father insisted.”When Newt was 15 years old, he watched fretfully as Leta’s former passion for creatures devolved into something dark and dangerous. He does his best to stem the tide, but she lashes out at him more and more, between bursts of fitful sobbing. Desperate, he agrees to help her if she agrees not to hurt any more beasts. “Yes, all right,” she tells him and then kisses his mouth hard enough to bruise. He refuses to kiss her back—that time.(She confesses to him, one particularly dark evening after they’ve taken refuge in the kitchens, that she fears for her future. “I don’t want him,” she weeps into Newt’s shoulder. “He’s cruel, just like Father. Why, why can’t I just have you instead?”Newt has no answer for her, so he uses his scarf to dry her tears and summons every resource he has to strengthen his wobbly smile. For her sake.)When Newt was 15-turning-16 years old, Leta Lestrange did more than kiss him in celebration of his birthday. “This, I can take from him,” she murmurs against his mouth while opening his trousers. “This, I can give to you. Happy Birthday, my little Newt.”He can’t find it in himself to resist. Afterward, he asks her if she’ll suffer for not going to her wedding bed a virgin. “I don’t particularly care,” Leta says flatly. “Besides, how could he possibly know? You didn’t.” Newt inclines his head in acknowledgment before kissing her one final time.When Newt was 16 years old, his entire world came crashing down. Leta did the unthinkable, and he, knowing the extremes of her desperation, does the unknowable: he steps in on her behalf and takes the fall. She hates him for it—her expulsion was to be her ticket out: out of an unwanted arranged marriage; out of a family who only tolerated her eccentricities because of what they could secure for them and their aspirations.But Newt knows she cannot survive without the support of her soon-to-be-husband and family, and he knows that he can. So Newt steps up, only to be cast away from Hogwarts as a failure.The teachers fight on his behalf, but the Board of Governors remains firm, and Newt is expelled quietly and without fanfare. His only saving grace is that he’s already taken his fifth-year exams and is allowed to keep his wand, thereby ensuring some limited future in the wizarding world.(Leta isn’t there when his final judgment is delivered. Her father swoops in like a Dementor to take her away from his“rotten influence!” and return her to the cold bosom of the Lestrange estate. She doesn’t make any effort to resist, still too stunned by everything that’s happened. But she does turn to look at him, just before they leave, and her eyes are cold when they meet his. Cold and indifferent.You’ve killed me, those dark eyes say, and Newt blinks back tears. Your poison kindness has sealed my fate. I hope you’re proud of yourself.He isn’t, and his parents welcome him distantly before informing him, in no uncertain terms, that he’s to make something of himself despite all of this. “We are disappointed, Newt,” they say. “We expected better of you. You’ve brought shame to your good name, and to us all.”)When Newt was 17 years old, Theseus secured him a position with the Ministry. “You’ll need to work,” he tells Newt, “if you wish to claim your inheritance in the future. Buck up, ol’ chap, it isn’t all bad. You’ll get to work with your creatures, at least.”His salary is two Sickles per week, truly a pittance; but he lives in a single room in Thesues’ flat and he has enough money to eat and visit the pub each evening and so, he is (mostly) content.When Newt was 18 years old, Theseus joined the effort to stem the burgeoning war in Europe. Newt sees him off despite their father’s protestations.When Newt was 19 years old, he joined the war efforts at his brother’s behest. “You can redeem yourself here, Newt,” Theseus writes. “You can even come work with dragons if that is what you wish.” He does wish it, and he reaches out to the local recruitment office that same day.He ships to the Eastern front two weeks later.When Newt was 20 years, he received a package with his weekly front-lines post, no return address. It’s small and unassuming, and he eyes it blearily before breaking the seal.There’s a wizard photograph tucked inside, of a familiar girl—now a woman—with mountain avens woven into her hair, smiling up at him suggestively.Newt, she writes on the back of the photo in a familiar slanting hand. Remember the lake. Remember flowers and Jarveys and late-night study sessions. Remember when you kissed me outside of the Hogwarts kitchen, in the empty classroom, and behind our books in the library. Remember when you promised to love me. Remember, and never forget. Please. “I couldn’t forget if I tried,” he croaks to the photo and girl-turned-woman smirks and tosses her head in perpetuity. “Though, I've got a feeling you’ve forgotten me. Haven’t you, Leta?”The girl continues to smile and Newt, with the salt of his tears drying on his cheeks, hides her in his rucksack before leaving his tent in search of breakfast.When Newt was 23 years old, he dug out the old photo of Leta and put it beside his armchair. He speaks to it each night before bed, a steady refrain covering the events of his day, his eventual aspirations, and the people he’s met.“I miss you,” Newt admits aloud one evening, but she just smirks.When Newt was 28 years old, the picture traveled with him around the globe, tucked neatly into his magically-expanded suitcase. He doesn’t speak to her, not anymore, but Leta’s visage is a connection to humanity—something he desperately needs as he ventures deeper and deeper into the wilds of the magical world. He touches her picture some evenings, remembering (forgetting) the feel of her skin beneath his hands. Other nights, he can barely tolerate her face as the old, familiar sense of regret comes flooding back.When Newt was 29 years old, half a world and a full lifetime away from Leta Lestrange and Hogwarts, he tells a woman he suspects he is coming to love: “I don’t know what Leta likes these days because people change. I’ve changed. I think. Maybe a little.”The woman, Tina Goldstein, smiles at him radiantly. He hears and feels the thump of his heart when it first drops, then soars—and for the first time since his expulsion, the specter of Leta no longer haunts him.When Newt was 30 years old, an unexpected package arrived in India where he was releasing his Nundu. Dear Mr. Scamander, Queenie writes, and he smiles down at the page. I think you should have this photograph, just to remember us by! Please don’t forget about your American friends in that big ol’ world inside your head. We miss you something fierce, Teenie especially, and can’t wait to see you again. Hot dogs when you get back, yeah? Our treat.There’s a photograph of three people enclosed, each of them smiling and waving up at him happily, but he only has eyes for one.Tina is wearing a long skirt and a slow, shy smile, and she glances up at him before looking away quickly. He reaches out to touch her hair and her smile turns into a full-fledged grin, exposing her dimple. Newt mirrors her smile and murmurs her name before turning to his side-table, where the photo of Leta still sits.Leta-the-photograph glances up at him, then at the silver frame as he sets it beside her. The smile slowly leaves her face when she glances at the three people, the radiant brunette especially, and back up at him. She blinks quickly before seeming to understand.Then, lips set in an unwavering line, dark eyes suddenly shiny, Leta nods at him once, sharply, before exiting her frame.Newt watches her go without regret, the ghostly scent of mountain avens monetarily tickling his nose. He recognizes her gesture as a final farewell, and his hand trembles minutely when he lays her photo face down.“Goodbye, Leta,” he whispers, and sudden, unexpected tears fill his eyes.Besides him, Queenie, Jacob, and Tina are watching soberly. “I’m all right,” he reassures them and wipes his eyes on his sleeve. The three of them eventually smile again, waving up at him tentatively, and he manages a watery laugh before stroking the silver frame.“I’ll be back soon,” he promises the woman who’s watching him with an awkward species of hope, and she beams and hops happily at his words.Newt can’t help but smile back before returning to his notes with a newfound sense of lightness, his heart at last at peace.
11293983	How Kiibo joined The	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Kiibo (Dangan Ronpa), Saihara Shuuichi, Ouma Kokichi", "Fandom": "New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Explicit", "author": "by orphan_account", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-25T00:00:00", "words": "1,093", "Additional Tags": "Threesome - M/M/M, Kind Of, Anal Sex, Polyamory, Hand Jobs", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "Ouma Kokichi/Saihara Shuuichi, Kiibo/Ouma Kokichi, Kiibo/Saihara Shuuichi, Kiibo/Ouma Kokichi/Saihara Shuuichi", "Series": "AmaSaiKiibOuma stuff", "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	They were dating for a year now, when they decided: they needed to add something to their relationship.That something was apparently a robot."I like him, you like him, I think he likes us too, so why not ask him if he wants to be our boyfriend?" Kokichi asked."What if he doesn't like us, though?" Shuuichi fired back."That's his loss! Anyway, I'm sure he does, so…""Why are you so sure?""Oh, here's the thing. I told him all about it already and asked him if he wants to be our boyfriend. He's on his way now.""Why didn't you tell me?!""I thought you'd appreciate a surprising element in your life."Shuuichi sighed, but was secretly pleased. He wanted Kiibo to join their relationship for awhile now, but was never sure how or when to bring it up. He was kind of relieved Kokichi was the one to do that.Just as he thought about that, a knock on their door was heard, and Kokichi opened it. Kiibo was standing in front of them."I have an answer." He said.The boys pulled him inside their apartment, letting him sit on the couch while they waited for him to keep speaking."Yes. I will be your boyfriend."Kokichi let out a strange, happy sound and hugged the robot. "Finally! Kiiboy is our boyfriend!"Kiibo rolled his eyes but smiled anyway. "Saihara, why don't you join this hug?"Shuuichi blushed, but walked towards the hugging boys anyway. He wrapped his arms around them both."I have a question though!" the robot suddenly said."What's the matter?" Shuuichi asked worriedly."How…" a blush made its way to the robot's face, "how does intercourse work? With the three of us, I mean."Shuuichi was still recovering from his last blushing session, but Kokichi answered before he could even open his mouth. "Well, you don't have a dick, so you can watch.""Watch?""We can show you for starters how it works with just us two. And when you're ready, you can join." Kokichi smiled.The robot's eyes lit up. "Oh! That's sounds like a great plan, thank you! I'd love to see you two… do that.""Then let's go!" Kokichi said and got up, pulling his boyfriends up as well, one by each hand."Wait, right n- okay then." Shuuichi said and tried to catch up with his boyfriend's quick steps.Kokichi wasted no time. As soon as they got to their bedroom, he started stripping. Once his shirt was off, he was kissing Kiibo deeply while fiddling with his pants' button.He broke the kiss to say, "kissing a robot is so weird! I like it though.""Can I… try next?" Shuuichi whispered.Kokichi whistled, "go ahead, if Kiiboy here is okay with that.""I am!" the robot said.Shuuichi stood in front of Kiibo and leaned forward. Metal lips met his, and the sensation was… quite strange. He still liked it anyway."Shuuuuu-iiiii-chiiiii! I thought you said we were going to have sex!" Kokichi whined.Shuuichi broke the kiss, "right! Sorry." He took his shirt off, then unzipped his pants, pulling them off as well.Kokichi had time to take off his own pants, apparently, because the next time Shuuichi looked, the boy was entirely nude.Shuuichi swallowed and pulled down his boxers as well. He was already hard.Kiibo sat on the edge of the bed, looking at the boys with wide eyes.Kokichi laid down next to the robot and spread his legs, waiting for Shuuichi to grab the lube bottle they kept near the bed.Shuuichi did just that, popping open said bottle and pouring some on his fingers. He then placed his hand near Kokichi's hole.One finger was shoved inside. Kiibo sat on the floor near Shuuichi to watch everything even closer.Shuuichi started pumping his finger in and out. He could hear Kokichi's quiet gasps and felt himself getting even harder. He added another finger.Kiibo was the one to gasp this time, when Shuuichi started scissoring his fingers, still pushing and pulling them.Two fingers turned to three, before Kokichi moaned, "I'm ready."The fingers were pulled out. Shuuichi opened the lube bottle again and squeezed some on his hand, slathering his dick in it.Kiibo gasped again, "will it fit? Wouldn't it be too big?""I can take it. Trust me," Kokichi gave a breathy giggle."I'm gonna put it inside now, okay?" Shuuichi made sure not only Kokichi was okay, but Kiibo as well.They both nodded.Shuuichi slowly started pushing inside, looking at Kokichi's face, seeing it changing and reacting to the sensation of a dick inside of him. It was beautiful to watch. He could see, from the corner of his eye, that Kiibo was watching as well.Once he was fully inside, he could feel Kokichi clenching around him which caused him to moan. Kokichi had an evil grin on his face as he did it again."Next time we do it, I'm going to spank you." Shuuichi murmured, mostly to himself than to Kokichi.He pulled out almost completely, then quickly pushed himself back in. After doing this a couple of times, he started building up some sort of a comfortable pace for himself and for Kokichi. He almost forgot about the robot.That was, until Kiibo opened his mouth and said, "how does it feel?""Full. Warm. It's hard to describe," Kokichi replied immediately."It feels… close." Shuuichi said, panting a little. "Very intimate. Like it's the closest we can be together, I guess. It feels kind of special.""That was- ah! So gay, Shuuichi." Kokichi breathed his breathy giggle again."Shut up." Shuuichi said with a sudden harsh movement of his hips."Fuck, Shuuichi!" Kokichi threw his head back."Hey Kiibo." Shuuichi said. "Help him?""How?" Kiibo asked, before seeing Shuuichi's hand pointing at Kokichi's dick. "Oh! You mean, a… handjob?" Shuuichi nodded, and Kiibo got straight to work, taking Kokichi's dick in his hand and starting to pump it in time with Shuuichi's thrusts."I'm- fuck, I'm close!" Kokichi moaned, grabbing the sheets under him."Cum for us, Kokichi." Shuuichi whispered.Kokichi shot his load onto his stomach. Kiibo stopped his hand's movement and took it off of his dick. A few thrusts later, Shuuichi came inside of Kokichi and pulled out."Does this… answer your question?" Kokichi said, still regaining his breath."Yes! Thank you, that was, um, very informative." Kiibo blushed."Are you officially our boyfriend then?" Shuuichi asked.Kiibo nodded.Nice.
11271444	A Little Tipsy	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Jesse McCree, Hanzo Shimada, Genji Shimada", "Fandom": "Overwatch (Video Game)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by DryDreams", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-22T00:00:00", "words": "1,925", "Additional Tags": "McHanzo Week 2017, McHanzo Week, McHanzo - Freeform, happy birthday genji lol", "Relationship": "Jesse McCree/Hanzo Shimada", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	The large room packed shoulder to shoulder with people was hot and a little damp. This would not in any normal circumstance be a pleasant experience. However, with the flashing neon lights and the good vibrations, every brush against someone incited a spark of mysterious potential instead of discomfort.Jesse was vaguely aware that things were slightly out of control. He had always been a man who could hold his alcohol. Currently though, the world had begun to melt like a popsicle. In fact most all the faces in front of him were a colorful swirl. All but the one he was intently focused on. Hanzo was currently smack dab in the middle of the crowd. There might as well have been a spotlight on him, because Jesse couldn’t focus on anything else. This interest was not completely out of the blue. Jesse had been finding himself more and more fascinated with the man as of late. Recently though--as in, just a few moments ago--it had occured to him that maybe this was something more serious. Hanzo’s head was thrown back and he was laughing in a way Jesse had never witnessed before as he danced with his brother. The man was so always serious and put together, witnessing him truly happy could have made anyone fall in love. Now, seeing Hanzo so completely at ease and excited, Jesse was fairly certain he was doomed. That smile was completely and totally wrecking him.Let it be known that none of this had been Jesse's idea. It was Genji's. Jesse was not a club person in any way. He was not really the most social person when it came to strangers, especially when the experience involved letting yourself be made vulnerable by drinks and dancing. Hanzo had not seemed excited about the idea in the beginning, either, but Genji had pleaded to go. There had been a flurry of conversation that Jesse had not fully understood and finally Hanzo had given Genji a small smile of agreement. Now here they were, and here Jesse was, and there was no sign that Hanzo had ever been hesitant. Jesse couldn't pull his eyes off of the man. Hanzo was wearing one of his brother's sleeveless t-shirts, and for some odd reason seeing the other arm was somewhat of a treat. He had let his hair down hours ago and it was flying around his face as he shook his head. Strands were constantly out of place, sticking to his face and tangling whenever he tried in vain to shove it back out of the way. Most importantly, Hanzo hadn't stopped grinning since his third mojito and a good song more than an hour ago. This display was the most incredible thing Jesse had ever seen and he couldn't stop watching. Who was this careless joyful person possessing Shimada Hanzo? Whoever it was, he was certainly still light on his feet.Jesse's train of thought broke when suddenly Genji's face was four inches from his own. He nearly jumped out of his own skin and it took him a moment to figure out what was going on. The man had taken off his mask and was grinning wildly, face flushed and brown eyes twinkling. This was the second insane occurrence of the night. Where had he even put it? He was only wearing a skin-tight shirt and Jesse was fairly certain there was no actual pocket room in his armor-clad legs. "Jesse! I thought you were getting more drinks but you have been sitting here gawking for like ten minutes!"Jesse blinked. Oh. Oops. Well, he had been thoroughly distracted and had a smaller than usual attention span currently. After quickly glancing back to where Hanzo had been and not seeing him there, he turned around to the bar. Genji was already way ahead of him, speaking quickly in yet another language to the bartender. When he finished Jesse leaned on the counter next to him and nudged him with his arm. "Genji, what in tarnation did you to do your brother? The two of you are happier than clams and I don't know if I have ever seen either of y'all so comfy in your own skin outside of your own bedrooms ever."Genji laughed brightly. Jesse was keenly aware that the cyborg's body processes alcohol very quickly and he was therefore much more coherent than everyone else. It wasn't clear why he was even drinking--probably because he actually liked the taste and had no sense of self-preservation, the little punk. "I spent many of my younger days in places like this, Jesse! I have not lost my love for the atmosphere, though I am wiser now." Jesse side-eyed the drinks the bartender was making. Wiser? Sure. High-tech liver is more like it. Genji continues, "Hanzo enjoyed it too, though he would not come with me often. It was a tradition for us to go out dancing on both our birthdays. Of course, he would not drink with me back then because he was too responsible for that. But he loved to dance. I have not seen him dance since we were children."Jesse took the drink he was given and sipped at it, frowning at the fruity taste. He wondered what Hanzo looked like what he was young. No, nevermind, that was probably not something he should think about in this state of mind. Where was Hanzo? Turning around, he attempted to scan the crowd with little success. "Genji, where is he?" Genji rolled his eyes and grabbed the two other drinks, starting to push his way through the crowd. "Come on, cowboy. We will find my brother, and then you need to dance. You've been standing around all night." Jesse was going to protest, but was distracted yet again. There was Hanzo, all crazy curves and sharp edges, grinding on a completely random guy. Holy hell, what? This is what he does when they leave him alone for five minutes? Jesse almost pinched himself to see if he was dreaming. Then it occurred to him as he watched Hanzo's body twist that he very badly wanted to be that random guy. Genji, without even batting an eye, shooed the man away when they got there. Hanzo pouted exaggeratedly at his brother and took the drink he was offered. "We were having fun," he whined and Genji rolled his eyes over to Jesse. "It wouldn't be a traditional birthday outing without Hanzo finding someone to hook up with before I do," Genji complains. "Curse those cheekbones." Jesse is gobsmacked by all this new information. Hook up? Hanzo was staring at him pretty intently right now, was there something on his face? Wait--"It's your birthday!?"Both of the brothers raised one eyebrow at him and he blushed. They each had a straw in their mouth and with the twin expressions they looked frighteningly similar for a moment. "Guess I missed that,” he said apologetically. “Happy birthday, partner."Genji snickered and raised his cup in a salute. "We have only mentioned it a dozen times tonight, and you are only one of three people who know when it is. An understandable mistake." The sarcasm is heavy. Ouch. "Thank you though, Jesse." A new and louder song starts playing suddenly and Genji has to speak loudly over it. "Maybe we should cut you off soon!"Jesse groaned, hitting his palm to his head and shutting his eyes in a face of exasperation. He barely saw Hanzo whisper something into Genji's ear before he covered his eyes. "You really should. I'm too old for this."He kept his eyes closed for a beat too long, gathering himself a little, still spinning slightly. When he opened them, Genji had disappeared and taken Jesse's drink with him and Hanzo was a lot closer than before. Jesse inhales sharply as he meets yet another pair of sparkling brown eyes. "Hello Jesse," he sees Hanzo's mouth say but doesn't quite hear. Lucky he was looking at it. "Dance with me?"Jesse's eyes widened and he must have looked confused, because Hanzo leans close to speak into his ear. "I have seen you watching me dance, cowboy. I wish to see you try now." Then he pulled back and smirked, a challenge in his eyes. There was a bead of sweat in the dip of his collarbone and Jesse had the impulse to lick it off. He wasn't one to back down from a challenge. So, he let his bolder side take over and did exactly what he wanted too. He slipped his hands around Hanzo's waist and pulled him closer as he bent his head . It was the other man's turn to gasp now, but he followed it quickly with a laugh that to Jesse's fuzzy brain sounded like bells. The rest of the night was a blur of hands and hips and blinding smiles. The last thing Jesse remembered was stumbling down the hallway of the base giggling and trying to convince Genji to race them. When he woke the next morning, his head hurt and he wasn't in his own bed. Ah fuck, what did I do? There was a small noise from beside him and he craned his neck to look. Hanzo was blinking at him blearily from the other pillow, clearly in the same situation. Also bare-shouldered. "Um, good morning darlin'," Jesse whispered. "What the hell did we do last night?"Hanzo closed his eyes and a small smile spread across his face. He spoke without opening them again. "You will be glad to know that after talking big all evening, the moment you got in my bed you fell directly asleep."Jesse sighed, relieved. He really was too old for these kinds of shenanigans. Hanzo peeked an eye open and looked at him again suspiciously. "Why do you sigh? Was I too presumptuous or forward last night?""No!" Jesse almost shouted and then regretted it immediately, his head aching from the sound. "No," he said more quietly. "Not at all. I just don't want my first time with anyone as swell as you to be something I don't remember."He was rewarded with a smile that might have rivaled those of last night were it not for the hangover. "Mm," Hanzo responded. "That is a good answer. I apologize that it took alcohol and adrenaline to allow me to show my feelings for you."Damn. "Me too, Han. I apologi--shit."Hanzo opened both eyes then. "What is wrong?"Jesse moaned and buried his face in the pillow. "It was Genji's birthday. He's going to hate me."Hanzo laughed. It was nice to know that it still sounded like bells. "I do not think so. Genji and I have many years in front of us to uphold our traditions.""You think so?" Jesse was not consoled completely, but let it be. "You know, last night I couldn't help but be a li’l jealous of y'all's tradition. You were both so damn happy-go-lucky. I’ve never seen you like that before. Was kinda upset I never managed to get that kind of a laugh from you without a drink or two."Hanzo propped himself up on an elbow, his hair framing his face as he looked down at Jesse. "Maybe you have and I just never let you see it," he said seriously. "And maybe if you would allow me to kiss you right now, we could start making our own traditions.""Honey, you will always be allowed."
11256345	Ugly Christmas Sweaters	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "Gen", "Characters": "Bloom (Winx Club), Stella (Winx Club), background Mike (Winx Club), background Vanessa (Winx Club)", "Fandom": "Winx Club", "Language": "English", "Rating": "General Audiences", "author": "by StrongheartMaid", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-20T00:00:00", "words": "179", "Additional Tags": "Christmas Fluff", "Relationship": "Bloom & Stella", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Stella stared at the sweater that Bloom was wearing and tried vainly to come up with a response that wasn't 'That is the ugliest sweater I've seen'. It had bells, blinkie lights, and more colors than the rainbow and did nothing to scream Christmas. "Bloom, sweetie," she said slowly. "I think a rainbow threw up on your sweater."Bloom grinned. "Great," she said, not sounding offended at all. "See, back home with Papa Mike and Mama Vanessa, some of their friends are hosting an ugly sweater contest."Stella stared at her friend. "A ..what.. contest?""Ugly sweater," she grinned. "It's an earth thing."Stella decided that it could definitely stay an earth thing as far as she was concerned. "You mean, there are worse sweaters than that?""Yep. Why don't you tag along," Bloom offered. "You'll get a kick out of some of the styles."Stella wasn't sure she would but still.. Maybe they wouldn't be all that bad? Maybe someone with a tasteful sweater would show. "Just as long as I don't have to wear one," she relented.
11292903	Splicing White	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "F/M", "Characters": "Charles Milton Porter, Pearl Porter", "Fandom": null, "Language": "English", "Rating": "General Audiences", "author": "by poppywine", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-24T00:00:00", "words": "751", "Additional Tags": "Racism, Period-Typical Racism, Internal Conflict, Memories, Self-Reflection", "Relationship": "Charles Milton Porter/Pearl Porter", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": "Life Before/During/After", "Collections": null, "Fandoms": "BioShock, BioShock 2", "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Before he had arrived in Rapture, Charles had never noticed his hands.They were the same as they had been since childhood; though age had added extra scars and scrapes, Charles knew them by memory.Now, standing in the low light of what passed for nighttime in Rapture, Charles felt the first twinge of discontent at their appearance.He hadn’t even thought about changing anything about himself since he’d arrived in the city, But with the unpleasant conversation he’d had earlier in the day, a nagging thought had lodged in his mind.What if the man was right?Weighted with grief as he was, Charles wasn’t stupid- he’d heard the whispers of his fairer coworkers, seen the way white women had shied away, their husbands arms tightening around their waists in self-righteous anger. It stung: he’d built the brain of the city, was the reason those arrogant bastards didn’t suffocate in their own homes from carbon dioxide poisoning and still he was wrong in their eyes- ugly, strange, untrustworthy. It made his blood boil, hidden under a thin veneer of professionalism. Sometimes even at work, discussing technicalities with the other staff, he could see the superiority hiding in their eyes, barbed and vicious. Decades of nooses and night rides hiding in the smug turn of their lips, and on the worst days Charles found it hard to even speak to them without raising a hand.Pulling out of the memory, he turned towards the Gatherer’s Garden spilling neon pink across the floor- while it didn’t normally offer racial augmentations, he could easily request a custom plasmid with his connections. But... would he? Should he? Idly drumming his fingers on the frosted glass of the display window, he turned over the concept. He knew it would be a surrender to do so, a moral standing down: but, even as he argued this to himself, he was keenly aware of how different things would be. He’d had these arguments before with himself at various points in his life and he had always known the answer- that he shouldn’t need to rewrite himself for some white folks’ convenience, that it wasn’t his job to make them feel at ease with him- but the idea that he could, that it was no longer a fairy tale, gave him pause. If he could just...No.Yanking his hand off the vending machine, he turned on his heel and started for the door to the bathysphere, annoyed at his lapse in judgement. As his dress shoes beat a fast rhythm on the carpeted floor, he flashed back to a memory from years ago.Pearl had been perched in his lap, warm arms crossed behind his neck. Sighing with contentment, she’d rested her head on his shoulder, shifting slightly when his arms looped around her waist. In her embrace he could feel the stress leaving his shoulders, and he sighed with relief. “What’s the matter, baby?” Pulling away slightly, she frowned at him in concern. Even worried, she was beautiful.“Nothing, sweetheart.” Offering her a tired smile, he freed an arm to stroke a thumb over her cheek, marveling at the smoothness of her skin. Smiling softly, she scoffed. “You seem awfully tense over ‘nothing’, Charles.”When he didn’t explain further she let it drop, leaning back into his embrace and resting her head on his shoulder. “I love looking at you like this,” she whispered, hand tracing whorls into the fabric of his suit. “You’re so handsome.” If it had been anyone else, he would have waved them off- but here, with the fireplace warming the room and Pearl’s heartbeat beside his, he couldn't find it in him to stop her. “I love your skin,” she hummed against his neck, eyes drifting shut. She was like a cat, warmly curling against him, her weight comforting with its realness. “It’s like... fresh earth, warmed by the sun. I’ve thought of it since I first saw you. You know that, right?”He hadn’t expected her to say anything like that, and he almost wanted to argue with her —to prove she was the beauty of the two— but when he looked down and saw their colors together; her Peruvian brown against his warm umber— he found himself at a loss for words, in the best way possible.If Pearl loved him as is, then that was more than enough.With that memory in the forefront of his in mind, Charles let the doors slam shut and didn’t look back.
11236344	vines around your throat	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Howard Link, Allen Walker", "Fandom": "D.Gray-man", "Language": "English", "Rating": "General Audiences", "author": "by fl4nel", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-18T00:00:00", "words": "532", "Additional Tags": "Hanahaki Disease, Unrequited Love", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "Howard Link/Allen Walker, Howard Link & Allen Walker", "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Link wakes up coughing golden petals. He chokes on them until his throat is raw and his eyes teary and by the time his fit ends they're scattered all over his pillow. "Link?" Allen Walker is sitting up in his bed, staring at him with concern, features scrunched in mild alarm as he takes in the sight he offers, white as a sheet, letting yellow buds slip between his fingers. Alstroemeria, his brain registers faintly. They are both very aware of what it means, having seen Kanda Yuu consumed by that very disease for years, throwing up enough lotus flowers to bury himself under but refusing any treatment with obstinacy until they almost got him killed by sprouting in his throat. What a foolish thing that would have been , Link had thought then, dying of love. "Are you... are you okay?" Allen is still watching him and Link can't bear the look in his eyes anymore. He stares down at his hands, loose hair falling in front of his face like a curtain. "I'm alright," he murmurs. His throat itches and he coughs a few more petals in his lap, delicate flowers streaked with orange and brown. He doesn’t know what to think. Hanahaki striking one of Central’s men, let alone a Crow, is unheard of. They’ve been taught to conceal their emotions, to remain objective and detached in all circumstances. They’ve been taught to obey, not to love. He knew he had softened up, didn’t think it — “Should I...get someone?” Walker. Link grasps at the bed sheets next to him, trying to rein in the nervous laughter threatening to spill out his lips. Walker. “No,” he whispers. “There’s no need to.” Please don’t, he almost begs. Central is bound to find out eventually, but he wants that truce to last while it can. Wants to pretend for a bit longer, no matter how selfish that makes him. The thought of withholding information from Lvellie of his own volition is so laughable he almost cries. He hears the exorcist standing up and soon, the cold surface of a glass is pressed up against his forehead. “You should drink something.” Link accepts the water gracefully, meeting Allen’s gaze long enough for a nod and a barely whispered ‘thank you’. Considerate, thoughtful Walker. Allen’s smile is soft. Cruel, merciless Walker. This water will either drown the seeds in my throat or make them flourish in my lungs. Allen crouches down, eying the petals on his mattress with curiosity, bottom lip caught in his teeth. His hand hovers above them, hesitates. “You can…” Link swallows, tries again. “I don’t mind.” As the other boy picks up one of the petals and caresses it between his thumb and index finger, Link wonders if he isn't some kind of masochist. “It’s a pretty flower.” Allen sounds sorry. “You must love them very much.” A small smile floats on his lips, the look in his eyes both apologetic and wistful, and god Link is in way over his head. He thinks, not for the first time, that Allen Walker is going to be the death of him. What a foolish thing that would be, dying of love.
11235108	You Could Have Just	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Schmuely \"Snot\" Lonstein, Toshi Yoshida, Barry Robinson, Roger (American Dad!), Steve Smith", "Fandom": "American Dad!", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by FloralWords", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-18T00:00:00", "words": "1,605", "Additional Tags": "just two pals, Hanging Out, totally not gay, jk they make out", "Relationship": "Schmuely \"Snot\" Lonstein/Steve Smith", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	It’s a slow Saturday afternoon and they’re all sitting in the Smith’s living room playing a video game that they’ve already finished once before. Well, a game they’ve almost finished before. When they were playing the last boss level Steve’s father unplugged the console and went on his usual rant about they need to go outside and ‘socialize’ more, and Steve really needed to ‘get some less nerdy friends’. Stan didn’t really give an actual shit, just as long as they left and he could watch T.V. But here they were again, so close to finishing the game, finally making it to the last level again. They split up and each moved to their own sections in order to optimize their chances at beating the boss. Hiding behind something or other they all took their place and aimed their virtual weapons at the cartoonish monster on the screen. Each teen began firing their weapons as fast as they could, repeatedly jamming the x button on their controllers, only stopping when they had to run to avoid the grotesque monster’s goo. “Snot! Watch ou-” but Steve was cut off by Snot’s character being hit head on by the green, grayish goop. Snot let the controller fall out of his hands and he cursed under his breath. Steve smirked as he ducked behind a building, just barely avoiding the monster’s wrath himself, “Nice try, buddy.” Snot quickly flipped him the bird, but he grinned anyway, he didn’t really mind Steve’s teasing. He watched Barry, Toshi, and Steve continue to play the game for a while before he got insanely bored, it wasn’t all that interesting when you aren’t actually playing it. Snot decides to turn his attention back to Steve, letting himself smile as he studies his best friend’s features. He sees the bespectacled boy’s eyebrows knit together as maneuvers through the streets of the vacant city on the screen, biting his lip when ever the monster gets too close. But suddenly, the giant monster turns to Steve, and sends a ball of goo directly his way.“Damn it!” Steve hisses as he tosses his controller on the empty couch cushion between him and Snot. He throws his head back and takes a moment to look up at the popcorn ceiling in mild disappointment. He finally sighs and turns his head toward his best friend, returning the little smile Snot was giving him, and then letting his eyes wonder back to the screen. Snot follows suit, not wanting to look like some weirdo ogling over his friend, because he totally wasn’t. I mean, sometimes he might think that Steve has the best, brightest brown eyes he’s ever seen, and, sure, he would have to agree that the boy has the longest, most perfect eyelashes and the cutest nose, but that was normal, right?Snot sighed to himself. It wasn’t normal or typical, and he couldn’t just deny the fact that he got butterflies when Steve smiled at him. Or forget that feeling in his chest when he made him laugh at some dumb joke. He couldn’t ignore when his heart began to beat a mile a minute as soon as they were alone in his room, so close they could feel each other's breath. When did this all begin? When did his heart start to flutter every time their hands accidentally brushed? It had to have been around when they first started ‘practice kissing’, Snot decided. Or maybe not. Maybe it didn’t start until recently, he didn’t really know. When did their relationship become so complicated? He was brought out of his thoughts by a loud booming noise on the TV as the monster exploded and goo rained from the virtual sky. They all high fived each other triumphantly with a weird sense of pride coming over them at finally winning.***** It was a bit later in the evening, after Toshi and Barry left, and Steve and Snot were just hanging out in the living room. Snot eventually began to leave, using the excuse that he needed to get home before it got too dark out. Steve felt a pang of disappointment, he liked just hanging out with Snot alone, it always felt so easy. On top of that Steve was just so bored lately,and he wasn’t ready for him to leave yet.“Hey, woah, wait,” Steve grabbed his friend’s wrist and guides him back to the couch. “Can’t you spend the night, Snotters? Your mom is working tonight anyways. And my parents are out of town, Hayley and Jeff are out… somewhere,” He looks at Snot and gives him a little hopeful smile. “We can just go to my room and hang out.”Snot wants to be able to tell him no, he should be going home, but the look Steve is giving him pulls him in and he smiles back. “Yeah, sure, I’ll just send my mom a message real quick.” Steve’s smile turns into a full blown grin, “Okay, cool.” Fuck, Snot loves when he’s happy, he loves his smile, he loves his laugh. Does he love Steve? The question makes his stomach drop, he couldn't answer that, he… liked him, that was for sure. He liked him. “Wanna go hang out upstairs?” “Yeah, okay.” They get off the couch and move to Steve’s room (after a quick stop in the kitchen for snacks) to just watch Netflix and talk about nothing.For a split second Snot thinks about kissing him, but quickly throws out the idea. He always was a bit anxious when it came to initiating anything. It was always Steven, which he didn’t necessarily mind, but, damn it, he can’t get the thought out of his head. They’re so close, it wouldn’t take much to…“Snot? You okay, buddy?” Steve looks slightly confused, a little bit concerned, but, damn he still looks cute.“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. It’s just that I…” His eyes meet Steve’s, and he decides that he should do it, what did he have to lose? They've done it a million time before, it's not a big deal. So he leans in to bridge the gap between the two of them and kisses him. It’s different than a lot of the kisses and make out sessions they had shared before, It’s a soft, kind of sweet kiss, yet it still makes their hearts pound out of their chest. Steve breaks the kiss to shift around so that he’s sitting on his knees between Snot’s legs. It's a bit risky, but he doesn't really care about anything else except for the feeling of his lips on his best friend’s. At this point Snot is basically in shock, this is definitely different than their normal routine. Steve wraps his arms loosely around Snot’s neck and grins at his friend. “You know, if you wanted to kiss, you could have just asked.”He grins at Steve’s teasing and says, “Okay, wanna make out?”Steve responds by firmly pressing their lips together as he moved his hands to cup Snot’s face. Snot kisses him back with just as much force, wrapping his arms around Steve’s waist and pulling him closer, Steve moving to sit on his lap as he does. He’s slightly terrified of where this could go, but at the same time he doesn’t ever want to stop.Snot lightly bit Steve’s bottom lip, and he began to relax a bit more, opening his mouth for his tongue to enter. Snot begins to glide his hands down to Steve's hips, then lifts the yellow shirt just enough to move his hands under it so he can feel his soft, pale skin. Steve gasped lightly, but the kiss continued.After a while they break apart to catch their breaths, their foreheads resting against each others. Snot takes advantage of the time and flips them over, pressing Steve's back into the mattress. He’s a little shocked at first, but relaxes as he began to kiss his neck. He lets out a small moan and reaches up to tug his jean jacket off with his best friend’s help. Their lips meet again as Snot’s hands slowly begin to drift downward.“Hey, Steve, have you seen my Dolly Parton CD?” Roger barges in a rhinestone-covered denim shirt, pink cowgirl boots, and a big blond hair. Snot quickly pushes himself off of Steve onto the other side of the bed, still panting. “Oh, never mind. You two seem a little busy.,” Roger begins to leave but just before closing the door he yells, “Use protection!”The two boys sat in silence for a moment, Snot resting his chin on his knees and hugging his legs, next to him Steven was awkwardly placing a pillow over his lap. After a full minute of complete silence Steve finally breaks the silence, “I guess I forgot about my uncle.” Snot shots him a confused glance, “That was your uncle?”“Yeah, He’s, uh,” He struggles to find a word to describe the strangeness that is Roger, “He’s different.”Snot just nods, eye surveying the room as if he hasn't seen if before. Silence falls between them again, both of them awkwardly avoiding each other's gaze. Steve sighs, he doesn’t want to have to avoid each other all night, just because their make out session got a little too heated. That's never happened before, they were usually so... standoffish? No that wasn't the right word, they were usually more proper when they kissed, as if their was etiquette to making out with a friend. “Do you want to watch Star Trek or something?”Snot smiles, “Yeah, I’d love to.”
11257548	Spent	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "F/M", "Characters": "Wanda Maximoff, Vision (Marvel)", "Fandom": null, "Language": "English", "Rating": "Explicit", "author": "by Darthelwig", "chapters": "73/?", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-20T00:00:00", "words": "72,298", "Additional Tags": "Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Shameless Smut, Smut, Porn with Feelings", "Relationship": "Wanda Maximoff/Vision", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": "Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)", "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	“Spent”By darthelwig++++She was half-collapsed before him, one knee braced on the bed, the rest of her pressed down on the mattress. Her body trembled as she tried to calm her ragged breathing, and her hair was a tangled mess falling over her shoulders. Her skin was still flushed from their exertions, and he took a moment to admire how well-fucked she looked.He was on his knees behind her, his still-hard cock wet with her juices, and he ran his hands over her ass before squeezing it roughly, making her moan.“You like this,” he said. It wasn't a question. He knew exactly what she liked, what she needed from him.“Yes,” she moaned, as he continued his exploration of her body. He slid his fingers over the supple skin of her inner thighs, and she whimpered. “No more. Please. It's too much.”His hands slid up over her sides before settling on her hips.“You can take it,” he nearly growled, as his fingers dug painfully into her hips and pulled her up and onto his cock. She cried out, both in pain and pleasure, his bruising grip not letting up as he began to pound himself into her without delay. She was so wet. She was writhing on him, pushing herself back into him, meeting him thrust for thrust, as he knew she would. Wanda wanted this. She always did, and he knew exactly how to touch her.He reached around to finger her clit, letting each thrust bring his fingers to lightly brush against the sensitive bundle of nerves. She was cursing now, in English, in Sokovian, in any and every tongue she knew.“Who do you belong to?” he asked her as he fucked her hard and fast.“You. God. Fuck. Only you. Vis,” she managed to say breathlessly between each rough thrust of his hips.He watched her squirming before him, felt her cunt tight around his cock, so hot and slick, and it wasn't long before he felt his own climax building. He pressed his fingers closer to her, giving her clit more friction, and was gratified as she exploded beneath him, crying out his name. Her entire body shook uncontrollably as she bucked against him, her inner muscles milking his cock, and he gave one final, deep thrust before his own orgasm hit.He groaned loudly as his cock pulsed and throbbed inside of her. His fingers would leave bruises on her hips where they dug into her as he kept her pulled snug against him while he came. She grunted as he pumped her a few more times, enjoying how it drew out his pleasure.Finally, he pulled out of her wet cunt again, letting her fall to the bed in a boneless mess of sweat and slick. He bent over, bracing himself above her, and nipped her bare shoulder.“Mine,” he said simply.“Always,” she mumbled, completely spent, exhausted. Her eyes were already half closed.“Sleep now,” he whispered, nuzzling her neck as she drifted into slumber. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent”Chapter TwoBy darthelwig++++ She had placed her hand in his lap earlier, as they sat at the conference table, attending another of Captain Rogers’ meetings. He had pretended not to notice, his control over his synthetic body nearly complete. Not a twitch or a shiver had betrayed him as she squeezed his upper thigh and let her palm rest over the one part of his body he could not force to behave. She had not rubbed his hardening cock, just let her hand sit there, the warmth of her palm both comforting and distracting.Obviously, she was feeling playful and needy. He liked that. He found her in the kitchen late that night. She was in her sleepwear, an oversized t-shirt and shorts. She was sipping some tea, and watched him closely as he entered the room. Her lips quirked up into a smirk as he stared at her, advancing slowly towards where she stood. “You have been very naughty.”“Yes,” she said softly. “What will you do?” One elegant eyebrow rose as she gave him a questioning yet challenging look. She knew what was coming, what always followed her displays of wicked and risqué behavior. Her teasing made him wild to have her, and she deliberately chose the most inconvenient times to tempt him. His minx, his siren, his beauty. He moved behind her, his fingers settling lightly at her waist, and he felt her shiver in anticipation. He nuzzled her shoulder where her shirt had fallen to the side before nipping the smooth skin, making her jump. “I will give you what you need, as ever,” he said, breath hot on her ear as he whispered to her. He slid his hands up to her breasts, cupping and massaging them. He tweaked her nipples roughly and she gasped. “On your knees, Wanda.”She turned to face him, and with their gazes locked, she sank slowly to the floor. He watched her squeeze her breasts and pinch her nipples as she waited for what came next. He phased his clothes away and stood before her nude, cock hard and ready for her. Wanda wasted no time in taking his dick into her hot mouth, and he moaned as she took him deep into her throat. She was an excellent cock sucker, and she loved to do it. She sucked him with enthusiasm and passion, her tongue swirling around him as she bobbed her head along his length. He ran his fingers through her soft hair as he watched her. “Take off your shirt, Wanda.” She said nothing in reply, only pulled her shirt over her head and tossed it to the floor. She looked up at him, keeping their eyes locked as she reached out and stroked his cock before slowly bringing the head to her lips again. She dragged her tongue along the underside of his shaft from tip to root, and back again, all the while holding his gaze. He had to put a hand on the counter to steady himself. She was the sexiest woman he had ever seen, the only one he wanted. She knew how much he loved this. She knew how to drive him wild. She massaged her breasts as she took his cock into her mouth once more, swirling her tongue all around the head. He began thrusting into her, and she moaned loudly, the vibrations sending delicious shivers up his spine. He grabbed her head and began fucking her face deep as he could go, moaning as she gagged around his cock and dug her fingers into his hips. He released her, and she pulled back, one hand wrapped around his length again as she caught her breath. Vision pulled her to her feet and watched quietly as she slowly took off her shorts, revealing no panties underneath. Clearly, she had been planning this. He lifted her onto the countertop and slid his fingers into her slick folds. She spread her legs wide, welcoming him in, bracing herself on her hands with her head thrown back. She was a vision of beauty, wanton and wild. Her hips rocked as he pumped his fingers into her, giving her just a taste of what she truly wanted. She whimpered as his thumb rubbed over her clit. “More,” she begged, and Vision responded by doing the opposite, sliding his fingers almost all the way out of her, fucking her shallow, but fast. She raised her head to fix him with a pleading gaze, and he kissed her deeply as he plunged his fingers back into her, swallowing her scream. She was coming on his hand, riding his fingers hard. Before she came down completely, he pulled his hand away and thrust his cock inside her, making her shudder and cry out. He grabbed her hips and fucked her hard, pulling her off the countertop and bracing her against the edge so he could be all the way inside her. He knew it was hurting her, her back pressing painfully into the counter’s edge, but he didn't stop. He couldn't stop. And she was clutching at him, biting his shoulder, her hips jerking against his. He didn't last long. As soon as he felt her come again, her cunt milking him with tight, fluttering pulses, his climax overtook him. All he felt was her, wrapped around him. All he heard were her cries of pleasure mixed with his own. Afterwards, she stood shakily before him, fastidiously wiping down the counter where she had been seated, and he ran his fingers over her lower back where he could already see bruises would be forming. “Vis?” she murmured, tilting her head back to look at him. “I have marked you,” he said, with a little smile. “Probably more than usual.” She only shrugged. “I like it,” she said quietly. “You're so human when you fuck me like that. I like when you lose control.” He hummed in agreement as he wrapped his arm around her waist and pressed his face to her shoulder. “Will you sleep now?” he asked. “Yes. I think I can, now. Join me?”“Of course.” He smiled and followed her to her bed. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent”Chapter ThreeBy darthelwig++++These were their nights. Nights spent with sweat-slick bodies and trembling limbs tangled in her sheets. Nights where their only words were spoken in passion and breathless whispers. Night spent exploring and learning each other’s secret places.Like this night.His head buried between her legs, her ragged breaths accompanied by the obscene sounds of his mouth and tongue on her cunt. Her panties on the coffee table behind him, lacy scraps of cloth long forgotten. Her legs spread wide, skirt bunched up around her waist, his hands holding her thighs apart. Her top unbuttoned, opened, her smooth torso exposed, breasts straining against her bra as her back arches. Her long hair spread over the couch behind her, head tilted back and eyes closed, but mouth open, lips swollen from kisses.Her slender fingers, surprisingly strong, pull at his head, holding him closer to her core. She is hot and aching, and she is almost there, and she wants it. Her hips move, rolling her cunt up into his mouth, his tongue, determined to seek out her fulfillment.He brings it to her, finally, with tongue on her clit and fingers in her slick passage, unerringly finding that perfect spot. He knows exactly how to please her. He has been learning her body for months.This night, she pushes him down onto the couch, straddles him, her wet cunt pressed against his cock. She rocks her hips and slides her slick heat against his shaft, teasing them both. His hands go to her hips, but he doesn't try to take control, as if he could if she really wanted to keep it for herself. No, he lets her do as she will, even though she can feel his body tremble with need beneath her.She does, eventually, take him inside of her, sinking herself slowly onto his throbbing shaft. He makes a strangled sound as she does so, and his fingers tighten on her hips, almost painfully. She smirks and starts to ride him for real, starting a slow, shaky, rhythmic grind on his cock. It builds quickly, and soon she is bouncing up and down as he fucks her. He pulls her bra down, freeing her breasts, and she smiles.One hand braced on him, one hand on the back of the couch, she rides him.He wants her to come, so he plays with her clit, her nipples, drags his fingers over every inch of skin he can reach. There is pride on his face when she comes, and he holds back, doesn't want this to end. He breathes deeply as he feels her come on his cock, and forces himself to wait. Her cries of pleasure are sweet to his ears.They begin again, until he can see she is tiring, even through her arousal, and he flips them over so he can pound himself into her, bring them both to climax. Moments later, they are gasping and clutching at each other, breaths mingled between them. They hold each other’s gazes as they come, united.They tempt fate by fucking in public spaces, but always at night. It is only afterwards that they move to her room. She will sleep in his arms. These are their nights, laying spent together. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent”Chapter FourBy darthelwig++++ Wanda pulled him into the conference room, where only a few short hours ago they had been sitting with the rest of the team, discussing their upcoming mission. She hopped up onto the table and grabbed his sweater to pull him closer. He raised an eyebrow and smiled.“Here?” was all he asked. She grinned, knowing he couldn't resist her.“Yes, here,” she said, trailing her hand over his chest. “I had to sit here and suffer through a ridiculously long meeting when all I really wanted was to feel you inside me again, so you're going to fuck me right here on this table.” She brushed her lips over his as he ran his hands up her thighs and under her skirt, her teasing kisses almost too light to be felt.It wasn't long before he tired of that game, and stepped closer to capture her lips in a rough, almost violent kiss. He tangled his fingers in her hair, holding her still so he could take what he wanted from her hot mouth. She moaned, her entire body leaning towards him, desiring his touch. He slid his hands under her ass to pull her closer, giving her more, his erection pressing into the heat between her legs. He could feel the intensity of her even though he was still clothed.She gasped as he broke their kiss to suck on the soft skin of her throat. She was grasping his shoulders and grinding on him, and he was rapidly beginning to lose any control he had.“I wanted you to relieve my boredom. I thought about it, fantasized about it,” she said breathlessly. Vision brushed her hair off her shoulder and returned his attentions to her neck. “I locked my thighs together because otherwise I would've slid my hand between them and fucked myself to thoughts of you.”He groaned at the image of her fingering herself below the table, with closed eyes, parted lips, and cheeks flushed with desire.“What do you think our fearless and moral leader would have done, hmm?” Vision groaned and his hips jerked against her. They writhed against each other for a few moments before she slid her hand over his neck, down his back, leaning forward to whisper in his ear. “I think he would've wanted to see more. He would deny it, and fight it, but he would want it all the same.”“You are a temptress,” Vision managed to say, his entire being focused on her and every point where their bodies connected.“Perhaps he might've wanted to taste me, hmm? Do you think our Captain has a wild man inside of him? Do you think he would go down on me if I offered myself to him? Would he fuck me like you do?”Vision pulled himself away from her sweet skin and fixed her with an angry stare. She didn't shrink from it, but met his gaze squarely, a challenge in her eyes.“No one touches you but me,” he said, his voice low and intense. “No one sees you, or tastes you, or fucks you, but me. You are mine.” His clothes were phased away in an instant, and he ripped her panties apart to remove them. Then he was inside of her, pushing deep and hard, and she was so wet for him, so wanting. She lay back on the table as he leaned over her, bracing himself and fucking her fast and rough, bringing her to the brink of orgasm in moments. She locked her legs around him as she came, bucking against him.Vision didn't slow or stop his punishing pace, and Wanda responded as eagerly as always, her body as ready and welcoming as ever. His Wanda didn't need to stop, she didn't want a break. He knew her body as well as he knew his own. She always wanted more.Sure enough, she was moaning and pulling him closer, and he leaned down to suck her nipple into his mouth. He nipped it hard, making her cry out, then swirled his tongue over the nub to ease the sting. She was so beautiful, bouncing underneath him, her body a molten heat around his cock. His control was slipping, but he wanted her to come again. He wanted to make her come so hard she needed no one and nothing else.She cried out when Vision pulled out of her, but he only looked down at her, his expression fierce and immutable. He slid her further back onto the table, his eyes between her legs, and Wanda smirked. She bent her knees and spread her legs further, pulling up her skirt even more and lifting a bit to present herself to him.“Do you see something you like?” she asked, teasingly.“Touch yourself,” Vision said, voice hoarse with lust. “Show me how you would've touched yourself.”Wanda’s smile widened, and she gave her breasts a quick squeeze before sliding both hands between her legs. She dragged her fingernails over the smooth skin on the inside of her thighs, teasing herself. Vision watched in rapt fascination as her hands slowly made their way to her slick core. She gasped as she finally slid two slender fingers into her hot cunt, her eyes on Vision’s face as she began moving her hips in slow circles. Her clit pressed against her palm with every revolution, but she held her pace steady, making her demonstration last.Vision had never seen anything so alluring. Her juices coated her fingers, making him want to devour her, and the sounds she made as she masturbated enflamed him. He was moments from touching her when she pulled her fingers out to circle her clit, searching for more friction, more pleasure.“You are so beautiful, Wanda,” he said, and he pressed his face between her legs, his tongue delving into her folds. In seconds, their passion built into a frenzy, and she clutched at his head with one hand while she arched into him in a powerful orgasm that left her trembling.And then he was pulling her to the end of the table again, his strong hands around her waist. He held her gaze as he slid his cock back inside of her and shuddered, then he was moving, setting a rapid pace. He was wild for this woman. He kissed her, letting her taste herself on his tongue, his favorite flavor. He reached between them and massaged her clit, urging her to a final climax.Wanda clutched at his waist, her head thrown back as her body welcomed him as deep as he could go. She was his, would always be his. She surrendered herself to him nightly, with sex and kisses and vulnerability. He gave her everything she needed, and she gave him everything he could ever want.He cried out her name as he came, his hips bucking uncontrollably, and that was enough to send her over the edge as well. They were one in their ecstasy, joined body and soul.Wanda stroked his head as he recovered, her touches gentle and soothing. Vision looked at her, and she smiled, seeming sleepy and content.“Only you, Vision. You're the only man allowed between my thighs.” He smiled at her reassurance, and brushed a thumb gently over her lips.“You look ready to sleep now,” he said, voice filled with affection.“I am. Carry me,” she said, holding her arms up. He rolled his eyes, but picked her up gently and proceeded to carry her to her room.“I'll clean the table later,” he said. “You made quite a mess.” His smirk was tempered by laughter, and she hugged him close.“It's your fault anyway. You make me want to be dirty for you.”“I can live with that,” he said smugly. “Now rest. We leave early tomorrow.” She mumbled something he couldn't make out as she nuzzled her face into his chest, eyes closed, at peace. And so was he. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent”Chapter FiveBy darthelwig++++He slid inside her slowly, so slowly.It was agony. Ecstasy. Hot and wet and so, so tight around his cock, she was bliss. He sank into her, their minds connected, and he felt her pleasure as well as his own. He paused once he was fully sheathed inside of her and ran his hands up and down her sides. She was breathing heavily already, and he smoothed his hands over her back. He loved taking her from behind, loved how she responded to it, how wet she got when he bent over her.He moved a hand over her thigh, dragging his fingers over her, before reaching further beneath her and gently massaging her clit. He dipped his fingers into her juicy pussy where their bodies were joined, gathering her slick and using it to stroke light, easy circles over her most sensitive spot. She was trembling, making small noises as she started jerking her hips. She was so close. He could feel her tension, the coil of pleasure building in her belly, waiting to snap. He felt it like it was his own.Vision pulled his fingers off of her, and lightly squeezed and caressed her ass as she came down from the edge. He wanted her to go off, to come like a fucking bomb, but he wanted the tease first. He wanted to play.She whimpered, beyond words at the moment, just needy and wanting. She tried to look over her shoulder at him, but couldn't quite manage it. Vision stroked his fingers through her hair, so silky soft, and gave a slight bump of his hips against her, making her gasp as his cock shifted. His own lips parted in a silent cry, her pleasure magnifying his own.They didn't do this often, intense as it was. Sex between them was fantastic enough already. Tangling their minds together like this while they fucked was a special type of bliss they could only handle so much of, but god was it good when they did.Vision stayed absolutely still for a minute, then tightened his fingers on her hips and slid his cock almost all the way out of her. He watched as he pushed himself back in, loving the contrast of their skin. She was beautiful. She was always beautiful, but never more so than when she was taking his cock.He kept their pace agonizingly slow, smoothing his hands over her back, drawing out the pleasure for both of them. Their bodies moved together in perfect rhythm, building momentum gradually. His focus tightened until all he could see and feel and sense was her, his friend and lover. His Wanda.He was going to explode. His pleasure fed hers, which fed his, a feedback loop of ecstasy.“Wanda,” he breathed.“Vis,” she moaned.He was coming. She was coming hard. Her sweet pussy was squeezing his cock, bearing down on him almost painfully, and it only intensified his orgasm. His hips sped up as they came down from their high. He was bucking against her wildly, driving deep inside her like they both craved, and it immediately sent them both over the top once more. He was blind, deaf, dumb, all senses consumed by her body wrapped around his.They were both breathing hard when their climaxes were done. He pulled out of her gently and turned her, capturing her lips in a passionate kiss. She wrapped her arms around him and sank into his embrace. As she began withdrawing from his mind, he stopped her.“Don't,” he said quickly. “Stay.”“I may hear something you don't wish me to,” she said, cupping his cheek. “I would rather not violate you like that.”“I have no secrets from you, Wanda, and I like feeling you close. Stay with me.” He hugged her close as he looked at her, allowing his sincerity to show on his face as well as in his mind. Wanda blushed prettily.“Alright. Come on, time for bed. You've worn me out, lover.” She smiled at him sweetly, and Vision took her hand. Together, they gathered her clothes and walked hand in hand to her bedroom. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent”Chapter SixBy darthelwig++++This was one of the bad nights. They were fewer than they used to be, before, when her brother’s death was still a fresh wound in her heart, but there were still nights like this, when she couldn't settle, when the pain wouldn't let her be. Wanda always had trouble sleeping, but nights like this were so much worse, when she could barely sit still, could barely hold herself together. Driven by her emotions, the air around her almost crackled with power, the atmosphere charged and heavy, like a storm about to strike. Vision could feel it like electricity on his skin as he reached for her, grasping her hands through the haze of red that surrounded them. She was trembling, but her slender fingers clutched at him with fierce strength, and he pulled her close. She looked up at him with a wordless plea, tears unshed but glistening in her eyes. Vision leaned down and kissed her forcefully, his lips hard on hers. She opened her mouth and welcomed in his invading tongue, letting him taste her. She whimpered and began to kiss him back just as ferociously. He knew what she needed. He always knew. Vision lifted her and pressed her against the wall, his lips never leaving hers. Her arms were around his neck, keeping him close as they devoured each other. This was how it went, how it always went on nights like this. Her legs wrapped around his hips. His cock pressed against her hot cunt through their clothes as he slowly and roughly fucked her just like that. Wanda’s hands slid to his shoulders, her thighs tightening around him as she began fucking him back. Her hips rolled and jerked, and she moaned into his mouth. She broke their kiss to lean back against the wall, bracing herself as she rode him hard. She looked at him, desperate and hungry, tears still standing in her eyes, and he leaned forward to bring his lips to her ear. “I love you, Wanda. I will always love you. From the moment I saw you, you were the one. You will always be the one. It will always be you,” he whispered. That was all it took. Her body tensed against him, then bucked and heaved as she cried out her pleasure. He held her, pressing soft kisses to her neck and cheek, ignoring the throb of his still-hard cock.Her tears afterwards were not a surprise. That was how nights like this went. Now she could grieve. Now she could let it out. “I'm sorry. I'm sorry,” she said through her tears. Vision let her slide to her feet, but held her close, brushing the hair off her face. He gazed down at her, eyes sad. “It's alright, Wanda. It's okay. I’m here. It's alright.” He repeated it over and over as she cried into his chest, her entire body rocked by the force of her sobs. “I'm here for you, Wanda. I will always be here.”When her tears slowed, he picked her up and laid her gently on her bed, then climbed in beside her. She pressed herself into him, and he cradled her close, just enjoying the feel of her in his arms. When she eventually slept, it was with her head nestled in his neck and his rich voice in her ears, telling her it would be okay. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent”Chapter SevenBy darthelwig++++Her lips were soft and welcoming, her tongue sliding against his, teasing and tempting.Vision loved Wanda’s kisses. He loved the feel of her lips on his, and they way he could feel her heart beating when she pressed herself against him, seeking his taste. He loved the way her eyes fluttered closed as their lips met, and the way she held his face between her palms. She kissed him with passion, with love, with lust and affection. She kissed him gently, firmly, ravenously. Anything she wanted, she could have. However she wanted to kiss him, she could. Anything she desired, he would give her.Strange to think she desired him, but she did.Wanda moved her lips down his throat, nipping and licking his sensitive skin. She was hungry for him tonight, and he phased away his clothing to give her better access.He rested his hand on her head as she moved down his body, his fingers clenching in her hair as she took him in her mouth. This was always so good, almost as good as burying himself inside of her and making her cry out her pleasure. Her head moved up and down on his length, her tongue and lips driving him mad. It was all he could do not to thrust his hips up into her face, but he refused to do that. This was for her as much as for him. She was the one in control now. He let her control his pleasure.Vision tipped his head back, resting it on the cushions behind him, and closed his eyes. He let the feel of her mouth consume him, his entire being focused on her movements. She was so good, so absolutely, mind numbingly good.It wasn't long before his fingers tightened in her hair even further, drawing out a low moan from her that he felt all the way to his toes, and he exploded, stars in his eyes. His orgasm was so intense it was almost painful, and Wanda worked him through it until he let go of her. She sat up and licked her lips, looking extremely satisfied with herself.“You were loud,” she said, giggling.“Was I? I was not aware of that.” He wasn't surprised. She had that effect on him. “May I return the favor now?” He ran his fingers over her breast, caressing her hardened nipple with his thumb. She shivered, but shook her head and removed his hand, placing a soft kiss on his knuckles.“This time was for you, my love. I want only to sleep. Will you hold me?”“Of course, Wanda. Always.” He stood and lifted her into his arms, making her giggle again.“You like to carry me.”“I do, ever since the first time. You fit perfectly in my arms,” he said, smiling.“We fit perfectly together,” she replied, and rested her head on him. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent”Chapter EightBy darthelwig++++Ten days. Ten days without Vision’s arms around her, without the comfort of his touch and his presence. Ten days, and he was finally coming back to her.She was tense, pacing the roof in the moonlight, waiting for the Quinjet to land and for her teammates to disembark. Vision would seek her out, as he always did, but she couldn't just sit around and wait. She needed to watch, needed to move.Missing Vision had made it even more difficult for her to sleep. With him gone, she felt her loneliness more acutely, her solitude threatening to crush her. How could she rest without him holding her, his warmth warding off her nightmares? How was she supposed to relax into sleep without the pleasure he brought her?How was she supposed to exist without her heart held close?The Quinjet startled her from her swirling thoughts, and excitement filled her as she watched her teammates walk out onto the landing pad below. Her mind reached out for Vision’s as he emerged, and she gasped as she felt his intense desire to see her.Even from ground level, Vision’s eyes found hers unerringly. He wasted no time in flying to her side, and then they were in each other’s arms, stumbling backwards in their passion until they hit the wall. He pressed against her, their kisses hot and urgent, hands pulling each other as close as they could get. She clutched at his back as his lips moved to her throat, and he groaned.“Missed you,” she said breathily. “Need you. Vision.” She moaned his name as his lips found her nipple through the fabric of her shirt. He sucked hard, and she arched into him, nearly losing her balance until he steadied her with an arm on her waist.“Tell me, Wanda,” he said, looking at her with an intense, questioning gaze. “Tell me what you want. Anything.” He kissed her gently, belying the burning need she could sense under his calm exterior.“Just you,” she said. She kissed him again, more deeply, and just like that their touches turned desperate once more. Clothing was rapidly discarded until their bodies could meet with no barriers between them, skin to skin as they both craved.Vision slid his hands under her thighs and pulled her legs up around his waist. She braced herself, hands on his shoulders and staring into his eyes as he sank himself into her waiting heat. Her eyes closed as he seated himself fully inside of her, and she couldn't help her shaky moan. This. This was one of her favorite things, the sensation of being filled by him.Their joining was always intense for her, but this was more than she had ever felt before. Connected to his mind as she was, she felt not only his pleasure as he began to move inside of her, but also his happiness at their reunion. The enjoyment he received from having her in his arms matched her own intense gratification at being wrapped around him once again.She met his steady look and knew he felt it too.They stared into each other’s eyes as their bodies moved. Even as the pace increased and their breathing grew ragged, they held each other’s gazes. Wanda was barely aware of her own whimpering cries as her climax fast approached. She was wrapped up in Vision, and in their mutual bliss. He was just as close as she was, just as desperate for release.Their mouths crashed together in a searing kiss as they climaxed together, swallowing each other's moans. Wanda bucked against him uncontrollably, riding out the strongest orgasm she had ever experienced.Their kisses turned softer, sweeter, as the intensity of their need cooled, both temporarily sated. Vision didn't put her down, though, and she didn't care. She wanted to keep him there forever, buried inside of her where he belonged. This. This was everything.“I love you, Vision,” she whispered into his lips.“And I you, Wanda. Always,” he whispered back, and she was happy. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent”Chapter NineBy darthelwig++++Arousal buzzed under her skin, thrummed through her body, and she forced herself to sit still. Her hips wanted to move, wanted to find friction to ease the insistent heat between her legs.This was the worst possible time, but her body wanted release. After the intense fight they had been through, she should probably have been napping like the rest of the team, but she was too keyed up. Only Clint and Vision seemed as alert as she was. Vision didn't need to sleep, and Clint was busy flying the jet, letting the rest of the Avengers take advantage of the long flight to rest their beaten bodies.Wanda glanced around the interior of the Quinjet, catching Vision’s eye as she did so. With a raised brow and slight quirk of his lips, he indicated he knew the predicament she was in. She licked her lips, gratified at the way his eyes focused on the movement, and pressed her thighs more firmly together.Vision made his way towards where she sat near the back of the jet, and took the seat directly across from her. She shot a quick look at the others, making sure none of them had been disturbed. She could hear Clint humming up front, but he wasn't paying any attention to them at the moment.She let out a slow, shaky breath as her eyes met Vision’s, and they gazed at each other across the aisle in charged silence.Wanda shifted, allowing her thighs to rub against each other, feeling the seam of her tight pants press into her wetness. Her hardened nipples, constrained by the corset of her uniform, sent more heat to pool between her legs, and she could feel how flushed she was. What was the phrase, again? Hot and bothered. That's exactly what she was.Vision’s eyes followed the movement of her legs, traveled over the smooth curves of her breasts, and, even though his face remained carefully neutral, she could practically see the filthy thoughts behind his eyes. A sudden thought occurred to her, and she smiled wickedly.In her mind, Wanda reached for him.Long experience let her find him easily, and his eyes widened as she slipped into his mind. He welcomed her, as he always did when they made this connection, and she felt his curiosity. She winked at him and let her eyes travel over his chest and stomach, imagining trailing her fingers over his skin, following the lines of the vibranium lacing his body. She pushed the idea at him and grinned when his eyes widened as he felt the phantom sensation of her touch.They had never tried this before. They'd never needed to, having only joined their minds while they were having sex, but this. This could be exactly what she needed. Wanda pressed soft kisses to his neck, flicking her tongue out to taste him. She watched Vision’s eyes flutter closed. Her hand slipped down his body to grasp his hard cock, and she began to stroke him. She watched his mouth drop open, as if he wanted to moan, but he stayed silent. His erection was obvious, and she let herself drink in the sight of him sitting there, aching for her. She slid down and wrapped her lips around his cock, taking him deep. He shuddered, his fingers gripping the edge of the seat to steady himself. She knew he wanted to bury those fingers in her hair while she sucked him, it was one of his favorite things, so having her blow his mind like this had to be equal parts satisfying and frustrating. Still, she was too fucking turned on to stop now, and he didn't want her to. Tongue swirling around his shaft, she sucked him hard, wanting his release. She worked him with fingers and mouth, feeling him shiver and quake, increasing her own arousal. Wanda watched Vision’s hips jerk as he came, his eyes squeezed shut and chest heaving, and she couldn't help but squirm in her seat. He looked so damn hot. She loved the way she could make him lose control and just focus on the very human needs of his body. It was a heady feeling.She wondered if she dared to touch herself. She needed to get off, so badly. Feeling his pleasure through their link had been amazing, but not nearly enough to satisfy her. Not this time.A sudden tweak of her nipples caused her to gasp. Her eyes flew to Vision, and he looked back at her with an innocent face, but wicked smile. He closed his eyes and she felt his hot mouth on her nipples now, tongue soothing while he suckled her breasts.“Fuck,” she breathed softly.She was helpless before him. He moved from breasts to throat, dragging teeth over her sensitive skin. His fingers found the slick folds of her cunt, dipping lightly into her wetness before sliding inside of her. Wanda’s eyes were wide, needy, and she struggled to stay quiet as Vision took control. With a shaky breath, she forced her slightly jerking hips to still, forced herself to stay in her seat instead of climbing into Vision’s lap and fucking them both senseless. He slid another finger inside of her, his thumb brushing her clit and making her jump. He rubbed light circles over it as he fucked her on his fingers, slow and deep. He moved easily within her, as wet as she was, and he felt her tremble. Eyes closed, Wanda pressed her head back against the wall and surrendered herself to him. Her breath hitched as she got closer, then stopped altogether as her pleasure crested. It was only as she began to shake in the throes of her orgasm that the breath exploded from her, and she barely managed to keep herself from crying out. Vision didn't stop. He crooked his long fingers inside her, hitting that perfect spot that almost hurt in its intensity. He brought his tongue to her clit, his fucking amazing tongue that she loved so much. Wanda brought her head up and met Vision’s eyes, her lips silently forming his name. He sucked her clit as he pressed harder inside of her. Wanda had to bite her hand to keep from screaming as she came, her body jerking uncontrollably this time, the pleasure too much to contain. Vision was watching her, his intense stare amplifying her climax. She couldn't look away.Steve shifted in his sleep a few seats down, and Vision looked his way for a moment, but their Captain settled back down into sleep, and Vision turned his burning gaze to her once more. Her eyes widened, and she shook her head, but it was too late. He was in her mind still, and his touch already on her body. Vision sucked on her neck, his smooth lips making her shiver. She felt his fingers in her hair, tugging her head back to give him better access. Her body was weak already, putty in his hands, and she could feel his fingers digging into her hips as he spread her legs. Wanda stared at Vision, watched him lick his lips and drag his eyes over her trembling body. She felt his gaze like a caress, above and beyond what he was projecting to her. Her body simply reacted to him. It always did. She always did.His eyes lifted to hers once more, and as soon as they met- -He thrust into her, penetrating to the hilt in one smooth stroke. He pulled back, and his next thrust pushed him even harder, deeper, inside of her. He ground against her, making sure to stimulate her clit, and her entire body quivered with need. She was exhausted, aching, but he felt so good. Vision began to move faster, building a rhythm, making her quake. His hips jerked hard and rough against her, dragging her to climax, and as she orgasmed she was faintly aware of him doing the same, his panting breaths hot on her neck. Awareness returned to her suddenly, and she pushed herself to a sitting position on shaky arms, having slid down in her seat sometime during that last encounter. She was breathing hard, sweaty and flushed, relaxed and replete. She worried that someone might've noticed their actions, but a quick glance and tired mental scan assured her that no one was the wiser. Even Clint was still oblivious.Vision looked absolutely dazed by this point, and she smiled at him sweetly.“You okay?” she whispered, and he smiled.“Quite happy, actually. Thank you, Wanda.” The look in his eyes told her exactly what he was thanking her for, and she dipped her head to acknowledge all the things he couldn't say at the moment.“You're welcome. Any time, Vis.”She leaned her head back and settled in, finally sated enough to sleep. Her smile remained even as dreams claimed her. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent”Chapter TenBy darthelwig++++“You were flirting.”“I was not.”“You were.”A moment of silence as she glanced at him in the mirror. “Maybe,” she admitted. “You know how I feel about that,” he said roughly, eyes narrowed as he looked at her. “Yes.” She reached up to let her hair down, and sighed as it fell around her shoulders. Vision tore his eyes away from the sight with difficulty. “You flirted with many men this evening.” He didn't even try to disguise the irritation in his voice. He never thought he'd be capable of feeling this way, but this infuriating woman inspired emotions in him that he didn't even have words for. “I did.” Her smug smile told him she knew exactly what she had done to him, and that she'd done it on purpose. He looked at her in the mirror, evaluating, then made up his mind.Vision moved up behind Wanda, ran his fingers lightly through her hair before grabbing a handful and pulling her head back. She gasped, but didn't resist. Instead, one hand came up to slide behind his neck, urging him closer. “Must I always remind you who you belong to?” he asked, a growl in his normally smooth voice. “We’re a secret, so sometimes I forget,” she said breathlessly. “Hmm. Then perhaps I should announce it to everyone. This woman is mine.” He lowered his head until his breath was caressing her ear, causing her to shiver. Her breathing had sped up, and he could see goosebumps on her skin.“Maybe you should,” she said, her eyes closing, lips parted. He tilted her head further to the side and brought his mouth to her neck, biting and sucking the soft skin, making sure he would leave marks for the next day. Whether they openly declared themselves or not, he would lay claim to her for anyone to see. Wanda’s response was immediate and intense. She whimpered and rocked her hips back against him, her free hand clutching at him for balance. Vision released her hair and looked at her flushed face in the mirror, enjoying the dazed look in her eyes. He slid the zipper down on her dress and let it pool around her ankles, sucking in a breath as he realized she wore no underwear beneath. His fingers slid over the soft curves of her sides and hips, reacquainting himself with her skin. “You have been very, very naughty tonight.” “Yes,” was all she said, her voice shaky. Vision put his hand on her upper back and gently bent her over the vanity. He could practically smell her arousal by this point. He took a moment to admire the sight of her in the mirror, full breasts pressed against the wooden surface, eyes darkened with lust, her hair pooled around her. He ran his hands over her back, down to the soft cushion of her ass, caressing and squeezing her there. She was pressing herself back into his touch, unable to stay still, and so she gasped loudly, jerking forward, the first time his hand landed on her with a loud slap. He followed it up with a few more slow, measured blows, and she moaned and writhed beneath him. He paused to run his hand over her now sensitive bottom, soothing her, then began to deliver a series of quick, stinging swats. She cried out, eyes tightly shut. Vision stopped again, running his hands over her back and into her hair. She was trembling, knees weak, but when he dipped a finger into her, he found her slick and needy. He brushed his fingers feather light over her folds, refusing her the pleasure she wanted, and she whimpered. He landed a couple of sharp strikes to her bottom, and she bit her lip, trying to hold back. Vision began to alternate between sliding his fingers into her dripping pussy and smacking her tender ass. Wanda began to buck and moan, head dropped to the vanity, and he knew it was time. “Look at me, Wanda,” he said, phasing his clothes away and positioning himself. “Look at me.” She raised her head and met his eyes in the mirror, and with her lust-filled stare and tangled hair, he had never seen a more beautiful sight. He slid his cock into her, going slowly, watching the way her lips parted and her eyes fluttered closed as he did so. “Open your eyes, Wanda,” he said, and she obeyed, need and pleasure on her face. He gave a short, hard thrust, driving her forward, and she grunted, but she kept her eyes on his. He began to fuck her hard, shallow strokes that pushed him deep inside of her. Her body trembled under his onslaught, but he dug his fingers into her hips and held her steady. She came violently, nearly screaming with the force of it, her body tensing and jerking before her knees gave out. Vision followed her closely into ecstasy as her pussy clenched around him almost painfully tight, and it was only his synthezoid strength and reflexes that kept them both upright. He bent over her back, placing soft kisses on her shoulder now, and she shuddered. “This is why I do it,” she whispered hoarsely, trying to catch her breath. “You fuck me so good when you're jealous.” He smiled at her in the mirror. “Minx.” He straightened up and caressed her sore bottom. “Let me take care of you now. You will be very sore tomorrow.”“Worth it,” she grinned, and turned to kiss him. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent”Chapter ElevenBy darthelwig++++He pressed her against the wall, their mouths connecting in hot, slow kisses. He reveled in the taste of her, the feel of her slim body pressed against his. His hand traveled up her thigh, under her skirt, exploring her soft skin. His other hand was tangled in her hair, her tresses like silk pouring over his fingers. Everything about Wanda was so soft. Even with physical training every day, her body retained its lush curves.She was the epitome of femininity to him, and she always would be.She moaned into his mouth, and he pulled her up so she could wrap her long legs around his waist. His erection was pressed hard against her core now as he supported her weight, and he gasped at the jolt of pleasure that brought.“Wanda,” he murmured, her name almost like a prayer on his lips. Wanda wrapped her arms around his neck.“Yes, my Vision?” she said softly. “Tell me, lover.”He shivered as she kissed him again, her lips soft and yielding. If there was a heaven to be had for a being such as himself, this would be it. Wanda, warm and pliant in his arms, trust and adoration in her eyes, and his name on her lips.“I desire you, always and forever. There is no one more important.”“Hmm. Do you love me, Vision?” she asked, dragging her nose along his, nuzzling him.“You know that I do,” he said. Wanda rolled her hips, drawing a gasp from him.“Say it,” she said, breathing the words into his mouth, their lips brushing.“I love you. With everything I am, I love you,” he said, and she surged forward, kissing him deep and hard.“Fuck me,” she whispered, and a strangled noise escaped his throat as he pressed her forcefully against the wall, his fingers tightening on her ass.“Fuck me,” she said pleadingly, and he pulled her panties to the side with one hand, his fingers sliding over her slick folds. His clothes began to phase away.“Fuck me,” she demanded, and she cried out as his cock entered her swift and deep. He was buried to the hilt in one stroke, filling her perfectly, and she shuddered against him.With shaky movements, she began to rock against him, and he stayed still, letting her. Their eyes met and held as she sought her pleasure.“You going to make me do all the work myself?” she asked, teasing and breathless. He chuckled and kissed the smile from her lips before beginning to move inside of her with slow, languid strokes.There were no more words between them for now, only a silent acknowledgment of their shared feelings, faces pressed close together and breathing each other in. Every molecule of his body was focused on her, on what it felt like to be holding her, and inside of her. She was magical, beautiful, wild and bewitching.Wanda bucked against him as she came, with a soft gasp and a moan. Her head fell to his shoulder, and Vision paused for a moment, still hard and aching inside of her.As her breathing began to slow, he drove into her again, harder this time, more demanding, forcing a hoarse cry from her throat. Her head fell backwards against the wall as she arched into him, her body eagerly accepting his rough thrusts. He pulled her against him harder with each plunge into her wet heat, until she was whimpering in both pain and pleasure.“Fuck me, Vis,” she whispered. “Yes. Don't stop. Fuck. Love you. Love you so much.” She kept up a litany of encouragement and adoration while he fucked her, arms wrapped tightly around him, keeping him close.Vision couldn't hold back for long, not with the way she was talking to him, and the way her body clenched around him as she raced towards another orgasm. They came together this time, bodies synced even without their mental link.As they tried to calm their racing hearts and ragged breathing, with his eyes closed, Vision rested his forehead against Wanda’s, careful of the Mind Stone. They spent a minute just breathing the same air, enjoying their closeness.“You are everything to me,” he whispered, and she smiled. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent”Chapter TwelveBy darthelwig++++The way she moved could drive him crazy.He had enough self control not to stare at her during the day, with everyone else around, but his gaze still strayed to her often. She had a natural grace that drew his eye, and not just his. Wanda was a beautiful woman, and other people always noticed. They might be too wary of her to even strike up a conversation, but they always looked.He couldn't blame them. He always looked too.He was looking right now, trying not to stare, hoping his gaze wouldn't look as intense to the others as it felt to him.Not that anyone was paying attention. Tony had invited them all out, and they'd ended up in a nightclub. At the moment, Tony and Captain Rogers were having a drink and laughing together, which Vision was happy to see. They hadn't been getting along well recently, but it seemed they were patching things up. Sam and Rhodey were having some sort of drinking contest with Ms. Romanoff that Vision could only see ending in their losses and eventual alcohol poisoning. It crossed his mind briefly that he should probably be responsible and keep an eye on things, but the only thing he found he could concentrate on was his Sokovian vixen.His lover, who was watching him from a distance in the low lights, swaying her body to the music and pinning him with her burning gaze. His temptress. It was good the others were preoccupied. He was normally able to stop himself from staring, but he was helpless at the moment, caught in her spell. Even from a distance, he could feel her eyes on him like a caress.She sipped her drink, eyes never leaving his. He knew what she wanted. With a glance at their friends, he slid out of his seat and approached her.“Are you old enough to be drinking that?” he asked, knowing full well what the answer was.“No, but I'm not telling,” she said, grinning. He smiled as he slid his arm around her waist and pulled her close. “Besides, Americans are too uptight. I am legal age in Sokovia.” She leaned into him, and he looked around quickly before wrapping both arms around her.“You worry too much, Vis. No one can see us. They are all too busy, and we are surrounded by other people. It's just you and me right now.” The look in her eyes was absolutely dangerous, and he gave in, kissing her passionately.“You like to take risks,” he said as they parted.“You only now noticed?” she laughed. “I like keeping this between us, my love, but I like to play with fire as well. It's no fun having a secret like this if there's no danger to it.”He hummed his acknowledgement. “You want to be bad.”“Of course.” She winked at him. “Always.”Vision grinned and grabbed her ass, pulling her hard against him, and she gasped, her eyes going wide. He bent low to her ear and nipped her earlobe, making her shiver.“I can be very bad,” he said just loud enough for her to hear.He ran his hands over her hips, trailed his fingers up and down her sides, enjoying the way her lips parted and her eyes seemed to darken.“Show me,” she said.He glanced around quickly, spotting exactly what he needed. He took her hand and guided her through the edges of the crowd. She followed him without a word, eyes sparkling and lips quirked in a tiny smile. Vision took her drink and left it on a random table as they passed by, not stopping until they reached a much darker corner of the floor.He pressed her against the wall and pinned her with his hips.“Would you like to dance?” he asked.“Really? You brought me here to dance? In the dark?” She laughed.“Well, it's a very special dance,” he said into her ear, and he felt her shiver.“Alright,” she said. “Show me.”He had her face the crowd, then slid behind her and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. His body moved slowly against her, finding a sensual rhythm. His hands slid over her hips, over her stomach, over her thighs. He cupped one breast, thumbing her nipple through the thin material of her dress, his other hand sliding under the skirt. She reached up to grab his head, steadying herself as she swayed and ground against him.“Vision, anyone can see us,” she said, not sounding like she really minded in the slightest. Her eyes were half closed, lips parted.“No one can see us. They are all too busy. You worry too much,” he said, breathing the words into her neck as he nibbled and licked her smooth skin. “It's just you and me. Besides,” he said, pressing a kiss to her temple, “you like a little danger.” He slid his hand further up her dress, cupping her through her underwear, feeling her heat fill his palm.“Oh god, Vis.”He slid his fingers over her panty covered pussy, enjoying how wet she was even through the flimsy fabric. His other hand slid from one breast to another, his long arms swallowing up her slim frame. Wanda leaned her head back, exposing more of her long neck to his mouth, surrendering herself to him.Her hips jerked when he dragged his fingers over her clit, and he felt her suck in a ragged breath. He couldn't resist anymore, and had to slide his fingers into her underwear. They both moaned as he sank his fingers into her.“So many people close by, and here you are, with my hand down your panties. You are a bad girl.” He stroked his fingers into her, making her tremble, and when he pressed his thumb against her clit, her knees gave out. He held her easily. “If this were more private, it would be my face between your legs, not my hand.”“Fuck, Vis.” Her voice was as shaky as her body, and he could sense how close she was.“Come for me, Wanda. Let go and come for me,” he said, nuzzling her ear. That was all it took. She grabbed his arm and went rigid as her pleasure peaked. He kept his grip on her tight as she bucked her hips a few times and rode her orgasm back down.He didn't release her until he was sure her legs could support her again, then he slid his fingers out of her and brought them to his lips. She turned and watched, her eyes burning with intensity, as he slowly licked them clean, sucking every bit of her taste from them.“I think I am going to develop a headache,” she said, still staring at his lips. “You are going to be a gentleman and take me home.” She pressed herself against him, one hand stroking his head. “You know, they say a good cure for a headache is an orgasm. I think I'm going to need a lot of them.”She smiled at him, and he couldn't help but laugh. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent”Chapter ThirteenBy darthelwig++++He stood behind her, tangling his fingers in her silky hair and pulling her head back, making her cry out.“Shh. I told you to be quiet. Or do you want everyone to know what I'm doing to you right now?” He gave her clit a gentle tug as he teased her entrance with the head of his cock. He slipped into her with practiced ease and a whispered moan, just resting the tip of his cock inside her tight and welcoming heat. She tried to fuck herself back onto him, but he pinned her to the sink, refusing her the satisfaction.Vision stared at her in the bathroom mirror, taking in the sight of her naked and lusting. He reached around and pinched her beautiful breasts, watching in the mirror as her nipples hardened. He pulled out almost completely before slowly thrusting only the head of his dick back inside her. He fucked her just like that, driving her insane, but she could see his determination to not start pounding into her with abandon.“Vis,” she pleaded. “Please. God. I want it. Make me come.”“Quiet,” he admonished her. “You know that I will take care of you. Be patient, or I will stop right now.” He was fierce, aggressive, dominant, and she melted onto the counter, relaxing into her submission and trusting him to do as he promised. As he always did. He always took care of her needs, every single one.No one but her ever saw this side of Vision. This was solely for her. He was genteel and cultured and polite with the others, friendly even, in his distant sort of way. But this was hers. This was her Vision. Her lover.The only man she could imagine allowing these liberties.He reached down and flicked her clit, and it was all she could do not to moan so loudly everyone outside would hear. She tried to breathe slowly, focusing on that as he stroked her with his talented, nimble fingers. She couldn't help it, though. The pleasure was too much. Her breaths started coming in great, shuddering gasps that rocked her entire body.Vision steadied her with one hand while he played her with the other. She was his instrument, and he knew exactly how to coax any sound and reaction out of her, including near-silent, mind blowing orgasms.She was so fucking close.“I'm- Vis, I'm gonna-““That's right. You can come now, Wanda.” He rubbed his wet fingers over her clit in tight circles, and she exploded, barely remembering to be quiet. She caught the moan in her throat, swallowed it back and glowed at the approval in Vision’s gaze.She squeaked when he suddenly shoved himself deep into her still sensitive cunt, but her body accepted him readily, eagerly. Her knees felt shaky and weak, but Vision supported her easily. She loved how strong he was, how he could manhandle her body in the most delicious ways.She jolted as someone knocked on the door.“You alright in there, Wanda? Sounded like you might be getting sick,” Clint said.Vision flexed his hips, pushing even deeper inside of her, and she sucked in a sharp breath as she tried to gather her thoughts enough to reply.“I'm fine, Clint. Nothing to worry about.” Vision slid a hand over her breasts, squeezing and caressing them. God, she was in heaven. She was in hell.“You sure? You don't sound alright, kid,”Wanda felt almost hysterical laughter bubbling within her at the utter insanity and wickedness of the situation. Vision, buried hard and hot inside of her, her legs spread, bent over the sink and aching for a hard fuck.As if he knew exactly what she was thinking, and maybe he did, Vision pulled out and thrust into her again, shoving her hard against the sink.“Uhhh… I'm fine.” She bit off a moan. “My stomach. I'll be fine.” She gasped as Vision thrust deeply into her again. She felt every inch of his cock as he moved slowly in and out of her. Her every nerve ending felt electrified. Raw need flooded her, and she almost forgot Clint’s presence on the other side of the door as Vision continued to fuck her. All that mattered was their joining, and their pleasure.“Well, I'll check on you again in a bit,” Clint said, startling her, and she nodded before realizing he couldn't see her.“Okay,” she called out shakily, glad to finally be able to focus on Vision again, and the way he was caressing her hips and sides. She moaned softly when he reached beneath her to cup and squeeze her breasts, his fingers pinching her hardened nipples.“Say it, Wanda. Tell me what you want.” Vision’s voice was a poor imitation of its normal self, his naked lust barely contained. Just the sound of him was enough to heighten her arousal to a fever pitch, and she could feel herself become absolutely liquid around his cock.“Make me come, Vis. Please.”He put his hand on the back of her neck and held her down while he powered into her with rapid, deep thrusts. Her entire body shook under the onslaught, and she closed her eyes and gave herself over to the pleasure. He filled her just right, so perfectly, like they were made for each other. This was where he belonged, buried inside of her. He was her home, and she was his, and they were meant for each other.She could feel the orgasm building quickly, rushing over her. She strained beneath him, eager, desperate, needy. Her entire body shook and jerked, and Vision clamped his hand over her mouth as she came loudly, unable to hold back her cries. His breath hitched, hips pounding her wildly, and he whispered her name as his pleasure crested and left him spent inside of her.Vision ran his hand gently down her back, making her shiver. He stroked his fingers through her hair, soothing her, allowing her time to collect herself. She wondered briefly what would happen if the others found out exactly what it was she and Vision got up to together, and giggled.“Something funny?” Vision asked, mouth quirked up in an indulgent smile. She stood up straight, letting his cock slip out of her, and pressed her back against him as his arms wrapped around her waist. He pressed a soft kiss to her shoulder.“I'm just happy, Vis. That's all.” And she was. In this moment, she felt replete and content. Her world was peaceful, and she was in Vision’s arms. Everything was perfect.“That's all I could ever ask for,” Vision said softly.“You're all I need,” she said. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent”Chapter FourteenBy darthelwig++++He thrust his tongue up into her as she sat astride his face, legs spread wide, and slender fingers gripping tightly to the headboard for balance. She threw her head back, long hair falling in a dark cascade over her shoulders.This was exactly where she wanted to be. Needed to be.Vision gripped her thighs, keeping her legs pushed apart, keeping her pulled firmly down onto him. His moans were the sweetest music, making her nipples tighten almost painfully hard. She could feel the swelling of pleasure building inside her, and knew her release was imminent. She rocked against his mouth, her clit bumping his nose with every thrust.She shuddered and quaked as she came, and Vision drank her down, licking up every drop of her juices, cleaning her thoroughly before letting her go.She kissed him, long and deep, tasting herself on his lips and tongue. She moaned as his nimble fingers found her nipples, still sensitive and aching. God, she loved this man. He knew exactly how and when to touch her.Vision’s hand slid down her body, trailing fingers over her stomach until he could reach down and dip his middle finger into her folds. She inhaled sharply as her hips jerked forward, bringing her clit into contact with his palm and making her whimper. He fingered her for only a moment longer before removing his hand. He rubbed his wet fingers over her nipple, and she watched as he lowered his head and licked and sucked her flesh clean.The sight of his head bent over her, combined with the sinful feel of his mouth, was too much. She exploded into orgasm, clutching him to her in her passion.“Oh god, Vision.” She rested her head on the pillow as she tried to catch her breath. She caressed the sharp lines of his jaw and nose with trembling fingers. Vision brought his mouth to her nipple again, teeth scraping over it lightly and making her jump. “Oh god.” Vision lavished attention on her nipples, drawing moans and gasps from her.“I want to make it so you feel me on you all day tomorrow. I want your breasts to ache while you interact with the others. I want you to remember my touch every time your clothes move against your skin.” He pressed hot, open mouthed kisses to her chest and breasts, kissing his way from one side to another.“I always feel you,” Wanda said hoarsely. “I can never stop wanting you because I can never stop feeling what you do to me.” He suckled her nipple before tugging it with his teeth, and she arched into him, crying out her pleasure/pain. She couldn't help but squirm against him, the burning ache of her sensitive flesh sending pulses of heat and pleasure straight to her core. He swirled his tongue over her soothingly before devouring her all over again, until she was writhing against him in a frenzy of lust and need.He slid between her legs, and his swift, hard entry made her gasp. Her back arched off the bed, only offering her breasts more fully, and his mouth moved over her like she was the most succulent of meals and he was starving.He moved slowly at first, but quickly built up to a punishing pace. His mouth left her breasts so he could focus on fucking her harder. She was falling apart beneath him, caught up in ecstasy. She reached one orgasm, only to find another coming right after. The pleasure was almost too intense, nearly knocking her senseless, but Vision didn't let her stop. His rock hard cock kept her coming, and when she started to sag, his teeth on her nipples forced her back to life. She had the distant impression that she was being too noisy, but she couldn't be sure, and she couldn't bring herself to care. Her mind was consumed by sensation, consumed by Vision and their desire. She couldn't think past the way he forced her from one orgasm to the next, without pause. She had never had another lover who could do this for her. Only Vision could make her this wanton. Only Vision could please her so much.She had no idea how long it was he fucked her, or how many orgasms she experienced, by the time he let himself be lost to his own bliss. Maybe it had all been one insane orgasm from start to finish. She couldn't be sure. All she knew was that she was exhausted, sore, and would be hard pressed to even stand should they be called upon.“I'm gonna feel you for days, Vision. I may not be able to walk tomorrow,” she laughed, brushing sweaty hair off of her face. Vision gently nipped her bottom lip before smiling down at her sweetly.“Then I suppose my job here is done,” he said teasingly, and began to pull away. She grabbed him, growling, and pulled him close.“Not even close,” she said, eyes darkened by passion. “Come here.”Vision sank willingly into her arms, and she welcomed him. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent”Chapter FifteenBy darthelwig ++++Vision sat across the table from Wanda during the meeting, completely unable to focus. This wasn't the first time he’d had this particular problem, and always because of his beautiful, absolutely maddening lover. His eyes kept drifting to Wanda’s hands, to her slim, delicate fingers that had been wrapped around his erection just scant minutes before the meeting began. Her lips were just as distracting, lips that had whispered obscene promises as she leaned in to tease him with a kiss. Wanda had a definite way with words. She could make even the most filthy phrases seem utterly erotic, or maybe that was simply due to his deep attraction and love for her. Whatever the reason, she could be as crude as she wanted, and he would still find himself immediately aroused. Painfully aroused, at this point. His erection had been pressing insistently against his pants throughout he entire meeting so far, and showed no sign of going away anytime soon. Not without Wanda fulfilling her promises first. Actively thinking about it only made his situation worse. Wanda’s focus was on Steve as he gave his speech, but she brushed her fingers absently over her lips, drawing Vision’s attention to them. Her tongue darted out to moisten her chapped bottom lip, and he felt his cock twitch in his pants. He could feel Wanda’s eyes on him now, and he risked meeting her gaze. She showed no outward sign of her desire, not even a bit of a smirk to betray herself, but he knew what she was thinking. His temptress wanted to play. She turned back to Steve, giving him what appeared to be her full attention, but she began to casually toy with the low neckline of her shirt, dragging her fingers along the edge. Vision had to force himself not to openly stare. He looked at Captain Rogers, who seemed oblivious to his inattention. Vision knew he really should be listening to his team leader, but he couldn't stop thinking about Wanda’s soft skin and sweet lips. He wanted her with a ferocity he'd never felt before, with a savagery that made him very tempted to haul her out of her chair, bend her over the table, and fuck her violently in full view of the entire team. She would love it. What the hell was he thinking? He was going to get them both in a world of trouble. Vision turned his mind to Captain Rogers’ speech, though it took every bit of his willpower. He was only beginning to follow what was being said when he felt Wanda’s fingers caress the back of his neck. His eyes went wide, and he looked over at her quickly, discovering her heated gaze fixed on him. His minx did not like being ignored, and he could see determination and a hint of annoyance in her eyes. Eternally thankful that everyone else was busy discussing tactics with Captain Rogers now, Vision closed his eyes and braced himself. Wanda was mentally caressing his shoulders, running her hands up and down his arms in slow repetition. He could feel the warmth of her skin through his clothes, her breath on his neck as she leaned over him from behind to drag her hands over his torso. He could hear her soft sigh of appreciation as she explored his body. He loved this. He wanted it to continue. He wanted the pleasure to never end. He wanted her right now, more than anything. God, he needed it to stop. He felt her hands sliding over his thighs as she settled between his knees and lowered her mouth over his cock. The burst of sensation was intense, overwhelming. He could feel the heat and wetness of her, the delicious slide of her tongue against his skin, and the tightness of her throat that threatened to undo him. Against his will, his fingers clenched into tight fists in an effort to control his suddenly raging need. Vision opened his eyes to see Ms. Romanoff was arguing with Captain Rogers now, and Sam was trying to mediate while Clint looked on in amusement. Rhodey looked completely fed up, but watched the argument with a patience that spoke of his years of experience with the bureaucratic process. This was good. No one had noticed his preoccupation. No one noticed the tension of his body. Except for Wanda. He risked a glance at her, and discovered her watching him, fingers toying with the pendant that hung between her breasts. He tried to send her a mental caress of his own, but she shook her head and smirked, and instead he felt her touch strengthen. He had no words to describe the way it felt to have her sucking his cock while she watched him with knowing eyes from across the table. He was dying a slow, blissful death. It was so good it hurt. His pants were too tight around his straining cock. He wished he could free his erection, wrap his fingers around it and jerk himself off onto Wanda’s face, feed it to her for real, and watch her head bobbing in his lap. So many things he wanted to do to her, so many ways to bring them both pleasure. He closed his eyes as he felt her change tactics. She licked the insides of his thighs, nibbled the sensitive flesh. She worked her way to his testicles, and she rolled them in her mouth before dragging her tongue along the underside of his cock. A swirl of her tongue over the head, and he was back in her mouth as she took him deep, all the way to the base. She held him there for a few seconds, swallowing around him and making him crazy. It was all he could do not to thrust his hips up in reaction to her. She pulled off him completely before repeating her assault on his senses. He lasted only a few more minutes before he was completely overwhelmed. The orgasm wasn't a gradual thing. He exploded. It was by the skin of his teeth he managed to limit the physical manifestation of it to a rough exhalation and fingers clenched so hard into the arms of his chair that he crushed them a bit. He sat stunned, unable to believe how hard she'd just gotten him off in a room full of their teammates, and amazed that said teammates hadn't noticed a thing. They were still arguing, though it looked like they were finally winding down. Vision sucked in air, trying to collect himself. He looked over at Wanda, who had a self satisfied little grin on her face. Her eyes were still alight with mischief, and he couldn't help but return her smile. He was going to give his little minx the most delicious punishment later. He could hardly wait. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent”Chapter SixteenBy darthelwig++++Vision stirred the soup, giving it an appreciative sniff. This was a recipe Wanda had spent a great deal of time helping him perfect, and he wanted to get it right this time. He added a touch more salt, then glanced over his shoulder.“How are you doing, Wanda?” he asked, his voice mild. Her reply was a bit strained.“I'm fine,” she said between clenched teeth.“Only fine?” he asked. Vision turned to face her fully, and stopped to let himself savor the sight before him.Wanda sat on the counter, completely nude, her legs spread wide. She was leaned back so that her breasts were pushed forward on display, braced with both hands behind her, as she had been since he positioned her there. She hadn't moved an inch. She was such a good girl. Her nipples were pebbled peaks begging for touch. Between her silky legs, slid up inside that pretty pussy of hers, was a vibrator, the remote to which currently resided in his pocket. He'd left it on a very low setting, enough to tease her without overstimulating her, and he could see how very wet she had become.“You are beautiful,” he said softly, making her smile. He brushed her long hair back off her shoulders, admired the way it cascaded down her back. There was not a woman in the world more attractive than this one, and she was his. He may sometimes doubt he was one at all, but Wanda made him a very happy man.He reached out and ran his finger around her nipple, light, teasing touches, and was rewarded with a lusty sigh.“I would say you're better than fine,” he said, smirking. He took one hard nipple between his teeth, biting and tugging on it gently, and she moaned, her back arching. He pulled on it with his lips, flicked his tongue over the sensitive nub. She squirmed and writhed under his touch, and he reveled in her reactions. Her responsiveness never failed to please him.He shifted his attentions to her other nipple until her cries began to get too loud. Vision put his fingers to her lips to shush her.“None of that, now. We wouldn't want to wake anyone,” he said with a smile. She didn't respond, just tried to calm her ragged breathing, looking up at him with trusting eyes. “Stay,” Vision commanded. He reached into his pocket as he stepped away from her, and turned up the intensity of the vibrator, watching her face as he did so. Her head fell back, breathing growing erratic and labored. Her eyes silently pleaded with him for more, for less, for mercy, but he had none. He wanted her near the edge.He turned back to the stove to taste the soup, lingering for a moment, then dipped a spoon in and brought it over to Wanda, one hand cupped under it in case he spilled. It was a slightly awkward angle, but he fed it to her without issue. They had done this before, though admittedly, not with the buzz of a toy between her legs.“How is it?” he asked, voice betraying his nerves and arousal both.“Delicious,” Wanda said hoarsely, and licked the last drop of it from her lips. She smiled, and her obvious pride in him would've made him blush, had he been capable of it. As it was, he couldn't help but feel a bit of bashfulness as he leaned over to give her a kiss. He slid his tongue into her mouth, tasting her sweetness and the soup mixed together.She moaned, and Vision had to turn away from her when she closed her eyes and rocked her hips in an effort to satisfy her growing need. He turned off the stove and watched her quietly, taking in the beauty of her desire. He watched her reach for her pleasure, straining for it with every breath and tensing and release of her muscles, but she didn't break. She stayed as he had placed her, only opening her eyes to watch him watch her burn.“It's almost time to eat,” he said, sliding his hands up her thighs. She quivered beneath his fingers, so close to her release, but he pulled the vibrator out of her instead, and she cried out at the loss of it.“Vision, please. I need it. I need to come.” Her eyes pleaded with him to ease the ache for her, and he smiled at her gently as he ran his thumb over her cheek and into her hair. She leaned into his touch, desperate for connection. He leaned in close, his lips brushing lightly over hers as he spoke.“How about some dessert before dinner?” he said softly. “I'm going to devour you.” She sucked in a breath, her eyes wide and glazed with lust.Vision wasted no more time. He had spent the entire time he'd been cooking thinking about this very moment. He pulled her forward until she was sitting on the very edge of the counter, then dropped down and shoved his tongue deep between her folds.Wanda went off instantly. She'd been on edge for so long, her body had needed only the slightest touch. She flooded his mouth with her honey, and he licked and sucked at her greedily. Rigid discipline and determination kept her hands behind her back, but he could feel the weight of her lusty stare encouraging him to keep going. As if he had any intention of stopping now.He pushed her legs further apart, tightening his fingers on her in what might be a bruising grip, but she didn't protest. He swirled his tongue over her engorged and sensitive clit, making her shudder, before dragging his tongue back down to dip into her dripping heat. He loved how wet she got for him, and only him, how he could pleasure her like this, and no one else. He felt like a man, a flesh and blood, possessive, caveman of a man. He wanted to stamp her with the marks of his possession, let her and everyone else know that this woman was his and his alone. He never thought he would ever feel this way, had never imagined that being human could entail this kind of emotion, but this woman made him feel everything.And right now, he needed to make her come.He focused on that, using only his mouth and tongue and teeth to bring her to climax after climax. She was primed to take everything he could give her. Every moan, every whimper, every uncontrollable jerk of her hips, was magical to him, intoxicating. He could stay between her legs forever.But eventually he had to stop. Eventually she ran out of strength and collapsed backwards. At first, he just threw her legs over his shoulders and continued his assault on her senses, but after he got her off again, she was clearly at her limit. He prided himself on knowing exactly where those limits were.He stood and licked the taste of her from his lips, savoring it. Savoring her. She was panting, boneless and sweaty and exhausted. He smirked as he admired the well-fucked look of her.“You're going to eat a bit now, Wanda, and then I'll take you to bed.” He stroked her stomach and sides as he spoke.“I don't think I can walk,” she laughed. She pressed a hand to her forehead as she looked at him accusingly. “You were insatiable.”“I'll carry you,” he said, as he gently helped her sit up. Before he could pick her up, though, Wanda reached down and grabbed his stiff cock through his pants.“I haven't taken care of you,” she said, giving him a little squeeze. Vision trembled under her touch, and caressed the side of her face.“My pleasure tonight was in bringing you yours,” he said softly. All he had wanted was to see her on display, watch her reach her peak, and be responsible for her bliss.“Still. When we get to bed, I'm making it up to you, or don't I get dessert as well?”Vision’s cock twitched in her grasp, and she smiled as she felt it. He had to laugh at her pleased expression.“I could never deny you,” he said, and finally picked her up. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent”Chapter SeventeenBy darthelwig++++He'd almost lost her.Fear like he'd never known before still gripped his chest, a cold knot lodged in his heart, and it hurt.Just a stupid stray bullet, a tiny bit of metal, had nearly ripped away his world.How did people live like this, with this bitter feel of mortality heavy on their shoulders? How did they think about the eventual deaths of their loved ones and maintain any grip on their emotions? He was barely holding it together. He hadn't even been able to hold her like he wanted to on the way back, having to settle for staying close, where she could be aware of his presence. He wanted nothing more than to throw all pretense aside and claim her as his to take care of, but she wouldn't want that. Not now, and maybe not ever, and this was certainly not the time to discuss it.A stray bullet nearly ended her life.It was an eternity before he could finally be alone with her in her room. She moved stiffly, and he helped ease her out of her clothes and onto the bed. They didn't bother dressing her again, only locked the door so they wouldn't be disturbed.Vision lay beside her, propped up on his elbow, almost afraid to touch her, certainly too nervous to go anywhere near the wound on her side. She watched him quietly, smiling softly. The painkillers she'd been given had made her sleepy, and she'd rested in the infirmary for quite a while, but eventually she'd woken up and wanted her own bed, so there they were.“Make love to me,” she said softly, reaching up a hand to cup Vision’s face. He immediately shook his head to deny her, but she cut him off. “I want this. I want you. You won't hurt me, Vis. I just want to feel alive.”How could he deny her, when she put it like that? God knew, he wanted her. Even injured, she was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen, and with her laying there, looking up at him with desire in her eyes, it was difficult to keep himself in check. Her wound was the only thing that could distract him from the soft fullness of her breasts, the remembered taste of her nipples and skin, the long legs he loved having wrapped around him as he buried himself inside of her. Oh yes. He wanted her. He wanted to remind himself she was here, she was safe, she was alive and strong. He wanted to feel the life in her.He groaned, and reached for her hip, caressing her there before dragging his fingers up her torso to cup her breast. He thumbed her nipple, making her sigh appreciatively. He kept his touches to her breasts feather-light and gentle until he brought his head down and sucked her nipple hard into his mouth. A gasp of mingled pleasure and pain escaped her as she arched up into him, clutching at his head to bring him closer, and he pulled away.“This is not a good idea. That hurt you,” he said, concern written all over his features.“Vision, I'm not that breakable. You don't have to worry,” she said, guiding his face until he looked into her eyes. “It's okay. You don't have to be afraid. Now touch me.”Vision swallowed hard against a sudden lump in his throat at the utter trust in her eyes. He dropped his gaze to her body, letting it travel over the smooth, lush lines of her form, allowing himself to want. He looked back at her, finding only desire and need on her face.He kissed her, long and sweet, as he reached down to squeeze her hip and caress her thigh. He nibbled her lower lip, dragged his tongue over it, teasing her, as he trailed his fingers over the soft skin of her stomach. He placed little kisses along her jaw and neck while he grabbed her thigh and brought it up against him, pushing his knee firmly between her legs and feeling the heat of her. He nipped her earlobe while he gently rocked against her, holding himself up so he didn't press against her injury, letting her feel his erection. Her parted lips were too great a temptation to resist, and he kissed her again, swallowing her moans.She was ecstasy. Bliss. He forced himself to slow down instead of speed up like his body ached to do. Instead, he sat up and positioned himself fully between her legs. Her body, laid out before him so wantonly, was the most powerful aphrodisiac. He was harder than he had ever been, his every nerve ending more sensitive.He slid his hands up her body, over her stomach, cupping her breasts and pulling gently on her hardened nipples. He bent over her to take each one into his mouth, making sure to pay equal attention to both. She was whimpering and stroking his head and back, the feel and sounds of her making him burn.He kissed her again, almost chastely, before working his way down her body with his lips and tongue. He didn't stop until he reached her core, dripping wet and ready for him.“Don't move,” he said harshly, and she moaned. He could feel the muscles in her thighs tense as she felt his breath on her, then his tongue was in her, her taste filling his mouth, and he was lost in the pleasure. He went slowly at first, making sure she would heed his instruction, but when she stayed where she was, he let himself enjoy her fully. He ran his tongue over every inch of her, licked and sucked every silky fold, flicked his tongue softly over her clit. Her cries were needy, broken things, until he wrapped his lips around her clit and sucked, and she moaned loud enough to wake the dead.And still, she didn't move, didn't writhe beneath him or lose control. She was so good for him, so patient. He would give her everything she needed.He swiped his tongue over he again, leaving her slick and wet, but wanting to taste her all the same. She shuddered, her body still primed and sensitive, like his own. They were made for each other, destined for this.He slid a finger into her as he sat up, watching her take shallow, panting breaths as he fucked her on it. He pulled it out of her only to bring it to her lips, and she eagerly took it into her mouth, sucking her own juices off it as she stared at him, their gazes locked. The feel of her tongue swirling around his finger was almost too much to bear. His cock throbbed and twitched as he pressed the length of it against her.Wanda smirked at him as he slid his finger from her mouth with a strangled groan. He pushed her thigh apart with both hands and positioned himself carefully.“Be still,” he said, and sank his cock slowly into her. It was agonizing, the intensity of what he was feeling. She wrapped around him like a glove, perfectly fitted for his hard length, unbelievably hot and slick. He kept going until he was fully seated inside of her, then paused for a handful of breaths to gather his surprisingly threadbare control before beginning his slow slide out. He kept his pace relaxed, unhurried, fighting the urge to plunge inside her like an animal. The sight of bandages over her side kept him in check, reminded him of his need for care.Wanda quivered beneath him, dragging in shaky breaths, eyes closed. He looked down and watched where their bodies joined, watched himself enter her again and again. He was mesmerized, fascinated at how she stretched to accommodate him. It never ceased to amaze him. It never failed to turn him on even more. God, he wasn't going to last.“Look at me,” he said, voice rough and strained. “Wanda.”She forced her eyes open and met his stare. He could see the effort not to move etched on her face. She grabbed the sheets in tight fists, and he knew she was close. He was close. He couldn't stop the sounds he was making.He circled his thumb over her clit, and the muscles in her stomach jumped as she climaxed, crying out loudly. He held her gaze as he joined her, the feel of her body clenching around him sending him over the edge. He held as still as he could, jerking his hips only slightly as his control began to fail completely. She was his undoing, his weakness, and she always would be.Some distant part of him wondered if the sounds of their pleasure had been overheard, as they had both been quite loud near the end, but he couldn't really care right now. For now, there was only the two of them and their tiny world in her bedroom, with their love secure between them.Wanda smiled up at him, the most beautiful smile he'd ever seen.“Told you so.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent”Chapter EighteenBy darthelwig++++He couldn't drag his gaze away from her luscious lips, moist where her tongue had been, slightly parted. He knew what they felt like on his, knew the taste and texture of them. His memories of having them parted for his tongue, his cock, made him ache. He grew swollen and hard at the very thought of being there again.He walked around her slowly as she stayed kneeling on the carpeted floor. He would not have wanted her to hurt herself on the hardwood, and she knew that. She listened well. She gave him everything he wanted. And this was what she wanted, to feel like a good girl for him. To be good.He paced around her, forcing his eyes from her mouth, taking in the sight of her. The lacy underwear she had donned for him, which hardly concealed a thing. He could see the soft curves of her ass, the trim darkness of curls between her legs, so tempting. The bra she wore only served to heighten the beauty of her naked breasts, pushing them up, offering her nipples to his touch. She might as well be nude for all the good the lingerie did at hiding her feminine charms, but he supposed that was the point. She didn't want to be hidden. She wanted him to see. To want.And he did. He wanted her with every part of him.He stopped before her, staring down into her sparkling green eyes. A soft brush of his finger to her chin made her smile. He dragged it over her lips, and she took the tip into her mouth, sucked and swirled her tongue around it as if it was his cock. He felt it all the way to his toes. She was so beautiful.He leaned down and replaced his finger with his tongue, tasting her sweetness. She hummed her pleasure into his mouth.Breaking the kiss, he phased from his clothing, smiling as her eyes roamed his body in appreciation. Her attraction to him was intoxicating. He was proud to be her lover, to be her man.Her gaze settled on his cock, already rock hard and jutting from his body. He let her look, watched her tongue dart out to wet her lips, teased her with a palm sliding down his length. Her eyes met his, a silent question. He stepped closer to her.“No hands,” he commanded, pleased with the bright smile she gave him in return. She clasped her hands behind her back, and watched as she turned her attention back to his cock, so close to her face. She leaned in almost painfully slowly, arms still firmly at her sides, and placed a soft kiss on the tip before opening her mouth and taking him steadily, surely, all the way to the hilt into its hot wetness. He almost moaned at the feel of her throat working around him.Her tongue was like silk as she bobbed her head along his shaft, a tender and loving caress. The sight of her lips parted for him, stretched tight around his width, was almost enough to make him come in and of itself, but the feel of her. Nothing could ever compare. Wanda was a gift, a treasure. His treasure, precious and singularly beautiful. Her love was priceless, and he would never willingly let her go.Her mouth slid along his length, taking him deep. He ran his fingers through her hair, and now he did moan as she worked her lips along the base of his cock. He threw his head back and closed his eyes. Heaven. She was heaven, and he was going to come.She sucked him hard and then let him go with a loud pop. He looked down at her as she licked him from base to tip. She kept her hands together, as he had instructed her, so his erection pressed against her nose, her cheek. She nuzzled him, dragged her tongue down to his sac, and back up. She lavished him with loving attention.Then she took him back in her mouth, sucking hard and swirling her tongue around him, and he could hold back no more. He grabbed her head, held her still as he thrust himself down her throat. She swallowed against him, and the pleasure grew so intense it almost hurt.“Wanda,” he whispered, and lost himself in her.He finally pulled back, letting her breathe, and she licked his sensitive cock head until he made her stop. His hand trembled as he stroked her hair, as she smiled up at him so brightly, the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He admired her, chest still heaving as she caught her breath, nipples hardened peaks begging for touch. Her cheeks, flushed from exertion and the heat they had generated. Her hair, falling in tangled curls to her shoulders, and her lips, swollen and reddened from his cock. Best of all, her eyes, filled with love and desire and pride.She knelt there, hands behind her back, breasts thrust forward wantonly, waiting for him.“Come here, love. I'll take care of you,” he said, and she nodded. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent”Chapter NineteenBy darthelwig++++Wanda sat on the couch, skirt bunched up around her waist and panties discarded. Vision sat in a chair across from her, legs crossed at the knee, where his hands rested, lightly folded. They stared at each other across the distance, neither moving.Anticipation sent butterflies fluttering in her stomach, both pleasant and annoying at the same time. She burned. She wanted. She needed what only he could give her, but Vision remained quiet and unmoved. He was a statue, an angel of beauty and grace, a devil of temptation and the most delicious sin, a god she wanted to worship in every way possible, if only he would let her.She shivered as his eyes traveled down her body, finally. She ached for him, had ached since the moment they sat down to their game of chess, and he’d looked so proper and self controlled. Leaning forward to display flashes of cleavage through her low cut neckline didn’t draw more than a glance. The crossing of her legs, making her short skirt ride even higher, simply made his lips quirk up in the corners as he studied the game board. Frustrated, wanting a reaction, she’d slid her panties off and tossed them on the table. The tiny scrap of lace landed next to the board, an erotic offering Vision couldn’t ignore. He looked up at her, looking amused, and she’d taken the opportunity to lean back and slowly drag her skirt up while she spread her legs for him.But he’d ignored her display, his eyes remaining fixed on her face. Until now, and she was so ready for this, for him. She arched her back as his eyes wandered over her appreciatively. Her nipples felt tight and hard, her bra too confining, but she didn’t move to undo it. She’d played the game and gotten his attention. The rest was his. She was his, and she would give him anything.She leaned back into the couch, hands on her smooth thighs, drawing his focus down between her legs, where she could feel herself already growing wet and ready for him.“Touch yourself,” he said, eyes fixed between her legs. She smiled, his desire filling her with a rush of warmth.“Like this?” she asked, sliding fingertips over the outer lips of her sex, teasing both of them.“That’s a start,” Vision said, his smooth voice starting to become a little rougher. His eyes hadn’t left her yet, and she watched him watch her fingers move.“Perhaps you want a little more,” she said, as she slipped a finger into her folds and hummed as she dragged it up and over her clit, spreading her moisture. Vision licked his lips, and she almost moaned. Both hands started working between her legs now, spreading herself open and sweeping her towards a rapid climax. She didn’t want to wait. She wanted to come.“Yes,” he whispered, his voice low with lust, and she could see his fingers twitch, as if he yearned to be the one touching her. His intensity was almost tangible. She could feel him everywhere, every inch of her covered in him. It was so good...“Don’t move,” he said, and she froze before her brain could catch up, obeying him by instinct. She ached with the loss of friction, wanted so badly to continue...“Hey, guys. You’re up late,” came the voice from behind her, and her eyes widened, though she didn’t move.“Good evening, Captain Rogers,” Vision said, his voice even and controlled, sounding completely normal. “Wanda and I must have lost track of time while we were playing chess.” Vision was giving their fearless leader a small, polite smile. She could hear Steve moving around behind her, grabbing something from the refrigerator. Then he was running water at the sink, and Vision took Steve’s momentary distraction as an opportunity to whisper to her, so low that even Steve’s ears wouldn’t catch it over the sound of the water.“Touch yourself,” he said. She stared at him, incredulous, but he was Vision. She trusted him, and it was time to prove that. She moved her fingers over her slit in soft caresses, feeling the pleasure begin to build again despite Steve’s presence. Or maybe it was the fear of being caught that she found tantalizing. She was certainly enjoying the feeling of doing something so absolutely sinful while in the room with an unsuspecting teammate. She was so unbelievably wet and swollen, so ready for her lover.“Don’t stay up too late, Wanda,” Steve said, his voice sounding close, but she heard him walk away, watched Vision’s eyes as they tracked their Captain leaving the room. When Vision looked back at her, she saw pride on his face, and basked in the warmth of his smile.“You were very good, Wanda,” Vision told her, “and so sexy, so beautiful.” He moved to sit next to her, cupping her face while she rolled her hips against her hand. “I know how lucky I am to have you,” he said. He leaned in and kissed her, slow and deep, while his fingers trailed down her body to replace the hand between her legs with his own. She moaned into his mouth at the first touch, the sensations so much more intense when it was him.She clutched at his head, his arm, pulling him closer, digging her fingers into him as he brought her to the peak, and she cried out her ecstasy. The force of it was overwhelming. She bucked into his hand, riding it through her orgasm.“Fuck,” she said on an explosive exhalation. Her entire body shuddered with the aftershocks of her pleasure. Vision watched her come down with worshipful eyes. She collapsed back into the couch, smiling at him as he finally pulled his fingers out of her and brought them to his lips. She watched as he took them into his mouth, sucked and licked her juices from his skin. He moaned in appreciation, eyes fluttering shut for a moment as he savored her.“You are my favorite flavor,” he said, and kissed her again. She could taste herself on his tongue, and heat began to build between her legs again. She pulled back just enough so that their lips were parted.“Do you want more?” she asked, breathing the words into his mouth. “You want to taste me, don’t you? Right from the source. You want your head between my legs, yes?”“Yes,” was all he could manage to say.“Mmm.” She leaned back into the cushions and put her hand on his head, directing him downward with a gentle push. “Get on your knees.”Vision slid onto the floor and knelt between her legs. He placed soft kisses on them, up the inside of one thigh, and down the other, skipping over her core for now. He nipped her high on her thigh, and she grew wetter knowing that would leave a mark. His mark. She loved wearing them on her skin.He was driving her crazy, so when he pulled her forward and buried his tongue between her folds, her entire body arched up off the couch. She clutched at his head as he lapped at her with firm strokes, making sure to swirl his tongue over and around her clit as well. She collapsed beneath the onslaught of his mouth, head thrown back, eyes closed, her entire being narrowed down to one singular focus. Fingers groping blindly at his head, trying to force him closer, she slid one knee over his shoulder and began grinding herself onto his face. Vision retaliated by gripping her ass tight and fucking her on his tongue, devouring her.It was fast, and raw, and hard, both of them greedy for pleasure.Wanda’s entire body jerked when she came, nearly knocking herself off the couch. It was only Vision’s firm grip that kept her stable. He licked up her juices as she trembled and moaned, forced her legs to stay parted so he could keep his mouth on her. She was left dazed afterwards, head resting against the couch cushions as she looked down at Vision, who stayed kneeling between her legs when he was through cleaning her with his tongue. He rested his cheek on her thigh, and she caressed the side of his face with one shaky hand.“Satisfied?” she whispered, smiling at him tenderly. Vision pressed a kiss to her palm.“For now,” he said. “I think I’ve worn you out.”“I think you have. Take me to bed?”“Of course,” Vision said. He stood and lifted her into his arms, and she rested her head against his chest as he carried her.“I’ll make it up to you,” Wanda said. “I want to bring you pleasure too.” Vision looked down at her.“You have. I enjoyed that immensely.” He laughed. Wanda huffed.“When I wake up, I’ll really make you feel good,” she promised.“I look forward to it,” Vision said, and he held her closer. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent”Chapter TwentyBy darthelwig++++Wanda was pushed hard against the floor length window, breath leaving her in one great rush. She braced her palms on the flat surface and pushed backwards, meeting Vision’s firm body behind her, keeping her close. Her nipples brushed against the cool glass as she moved, making them pebble, making them ache. Her breath frosted the glass as Vision pressed against her, forcing her body flush against it, and she whimpered.Vision grabbed her hips, dug his fingers in as he pulled her back firmly into his crotch and ground his cock against her. She moaned at the feel of his hard length, so close to where she truly wanted it. She gasped when he rolled his hips, his hand slipping to the inside of her thigh as he did so. He held her with a bruising grip, and she couldn’t help but smile at his strength, at how he used it on her, the way he handled her.He nipped her shoulder, and she dropped her head back against him. He was everything she could ever need.“It’s a beautiful night,” Vision said, gazing out the window.“Yes,” she breathed. Vision ran his hand up her stomach, over her breast, cupped the soft weight of it in his palm.“Not half as beautiful as you.” He reached down to position himself, and then shoved roughly inside her, sinking hilt deep in one quick thrust. She gasped loudly, a strangled, pained sound that ended in a breathy giggle. He fucked her in slow, rough thrusts that shook the window as he steadily pounded himself into her. Vision’s grip tightened unbearably, forcing tears to her eyes, and she whimpered.“You want this. You enjoy this. Tell me, Wanda.” His voice was forceful, commanding.“Yes,” she managed between choked breaths. “I want it.”She came in sudden, intense waves of pleasure, breath caught in her throat and sweaty palms leaving smeared handprints on the glass. Vision paused his thrusts while she came down from it, let her breathe for a moment, then began building his rhythm again. It didn’t take long for her to reach her next climax, as sensitized as she was from the last. She could feel every inch of him powering into her.Vision finally pulled out, only to spin her around and yank her legs up around his waist so he could sink into her once more. He was still rock hard, his eyes boring into her with the laser focus of his arousal. Wanda’s back and ass slammed into the glass hard with every thrust. She would be sore tomorrow, no doubt about that, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. This felt too good, he felt too good. Her body never wanted to let him go. She clung to him, every inch of her.Vision’s control seemed to be faltering, finally. The movement of his hips was growing more irregular, his breath becoming ragged and labored. Wanda wrapped her arms around his neck and fucked him back, dragging a cry from his lips. The sound sent a thrill through her body, a shot of electricity straight to her wet cunt where it gripped him. Vision seemed to feel it too, as she felt a tremendous shudder pass through him.And then he was coming, hard and sudden, panting and moaning into her hair, his fingers bruising her thighs and ass. Her entire body was wrapped around him, and she was crushed tightly against the window by the weight of him as he rested against her, head on her shoulder. She brushed her fingers over his head soothingly as she waited for him to recover. He was trembling. She ignored the burning ache in her center for now, concentrating on her lover instead of her own desperate desire to come again. She wanted to writhe against him, take her pleasure from his cock, which was still buried inside of her, but he needed her.So she whispered her love to him repeatedly while she placed soft kisses on his head and stroked his shoulders and back. She could feel him slowly calming under her touch, and when he finally lifted his head from her neck and smiled, she kissed his nose, making him laugh.“Are you alright?” she asked, eyes searching his.“I couldn’t be better, Wanda. That was... powerful. I don’t believe I’ve ever felt anything like it before.” He sounded awed, almost. Stunned, certainly, and happy, which was all she could have wanted for him. “However,” he continued, “I believe I’ve left you wanting, and I cannot have that.” He lowered her legs until she was standing, unsteady and weak, but standing.“I can wait, Vision,” she said lovingly, though she still ached fiercely.“It is my pleasure to care for you, Wanda. Always.” Vision sank to his knees, hands trailing over her thighs and parting her legs. His tight grasp on her hips was all that kept her upright when her knees buckled as he buried his face in her heat. His tongue lashed at her clit, dragged rough and deep through her slick and swollen folds.Wanda came almost instantly, but he didn’t let up, sucking her clit to prolong her climax until she was completely falling apart and finally bent over him in nearly boneless exhaustion.He picked her up effortlessly, cradling her gently in his arms, a far cry from the way he had fucked her mercilessly against the glass.“I love you so much,” Wanda said, her voice almost too soft to be heard. She reached up to caress his neck and jaw, marveling at the perfection she found every time she looked at him.“You are my everything,” he said, staring down at her, his eyes intense. She wondered at how anyone could see him as less than human, how anyone could see him as simply an unfeeling robot, just another amazing creation of Stark’s. Vision was so much more than that. He was her angel, her knight, and her best friend. She placed a feather light kiss on his lips, tasting herself on him, and gave him the sweetest smile.“You’re perfect,” she said, and he ducked his head bashfully. The man who could dominate her so well could also be so shy and sweet, and she loved the dichotomy of that, of how every part of him fit every part of her. She sighed happily and settled into his arms, content. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent”Chapter Twenty-OneBy darthelwig++++This stakeout was killing her with boredom. Wanda didn’t even understand why they had to be the ones watching this warehouse for activity. Couldn’t that have been delegated to some SHIELD agents? Being stuck in a car for hours on end wasn’t her idea of a good time, and didn’t seem productive. The only good thing was that she was there with Vision. They were usually paired together, as the rest of the team still seemed to not really know how to deal with the synthezoid. Vision made them nervous, maybe almost as nervous as Wanda herself. But that worked for her. It meant they had more time together, and that could only be a good thing. She would go crazy if they’d partnered her with someone like Rhodey, and Sam, while nice, could grate on her nerves after a while. Natasha was unnerving, and Steve would make it hard to relax, as she found herself wanting to be on her best behavior around him. Even if inside she secretly liked to play with his straight laced tendencies. No, Vision was the best person to partner her with. She could be herself, and be happy. They could talk about anything, and often did, spending long hours discussing a wide range of subjects. Of course, they spent long hours doing other things as well, but no one had to know about that. The thought of those other activities had heat flooding to her stomach, and lower, and she smiled mischievously. She slid her hand over Vision’s knee, where he sat in the driver seat, then slowly moved it up his thigh until she was almost at his crotch. He looked at her questioningly, and she grinned at him. “I’m bored. Play with me,” she said, trying to sound as sultry as she could. It seemed effective, if the way Vision’s features tightened was anything to go by. She felt his cock move and begin to grow in his pants, but kept her twitchy fingers off of him for now, waiting for his response. “This doesn’t seem like a good time,” he said. “Are you kidding? This is the best time. We’re all alone, in a secluded area, in the dark, with nothing but time on our hands.” She gave his thigh a squeeze. “We are supposed to be watching the warehouse,” he reminded her. She grinned. “So watch, but I’m going to amuse myself with other things. Pants off. Now.” She thought he might resist further, but Vision phased out of his pants, leaving his naked erection tantalizingly close to her fingers. His entire body tensed as her hand closed around his length. She gave him an experimental stroke or two, watching the muscles of his abdomen flex and shift as he responded to the stimulation. Wanda shifted in her seat until she could lower her head and take his shaft into her mouth. Vision’s fingers immediately tangled in her hair as she bobbed up and down on his cock, taking him as deep as she could. She could feel him hitting the back of her throat, and forced herself to relax and swallow him, let him deeper, just how he liked it. She swirled her tongue over and around him as she moved, and was rewarded with his moans. She popped off him for a moment to look up. He had his head thrown back, eyes closed as she pleasured him. “Hey,” she said, getting his attention. His confused look was adorable. “You’re supposed to be watching the warehouse,” she reminded him with a wicked grin. She waited for him to return his attention to their target before she went back to working his cock with her hot mouth. She hummed around his straining erection, and his hips jerked against her. Wanda stretched her mind out to his, and Vision let out a strangled, choked sound as he felt their connection, the pleasure Wanda was feeling enhancing his own. Wanda was moaning now, ecstasy flooding her veins. She could feel Vision’s struggle to concentrate through the haze of arousal, could feel how close he was to the edge. He was holding back, wanting to prolong the way she was making him feel, but she wanted him to come, damn it. She began stroking his cock while she swirled her tongue around the head, making sure to rub her tongue along the sensitive underside, and he inched even closer to his finish, and when she took him fully into her mouth once more, sucking hard down the length of his shaft, he finally lost control. The orgasm hit him hard, the ferocity of it pushing her over the edge as well, and she cried out around his shaft as she came. She placed soft kisses over his stomach and thighs as she recovered, severing their connection. They were both breathing hard, and Vision was staring down at her with a look of complete adoration. She sat up, letting him phase back into his pants, but pouting as he did so. “I like you better naked,” she said sulkily. He laughed. “Thank you,” he said, reaching over to caress her cheek, and she knew he was thanking her for more than the compliment. “Any time,” she said, winking at him. “What are you doing?” he asked as she reached under her skirt to pull her panties off. She slipped the tiny scrap of fabric into his pocket with a satisfied smirk. “They were wet. I was uncomfortable. I’m much better now,” she said, as if it was the most logical thing in the world. He rolled his eyes, and she laughed. “You are such a tease,” Vision said. “It’s only teasing if I don’t intend to follow through,” Wanda replied, giving him a steamy look. She could feel her nipples tighten and pebble at the thought of what she wanted to do to him later. “Why are we here, again?”“Later, darling,” she said, patting his hand and smiling. “I promise.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent”Chapter Twenty-TwoBy darthelwig++++Vision ran his hands lightly up her arms to bury his fingers in her hair. She felt so right in his arms, across his lap, her warmth so close. He kissed her softly, her mouth open to his, and his tongue gently sweeping inside to taste her. Her lips were so soft against his, she was soft against him, and he was careful to touch her with all the care and love he possessed. Nothing could compare to the feel of his lover wrapped safely in his embrace. She sighed his name and tilted her head to offer her neck to his lips, and he wasted no time in trailing them over her silky skin, making her shiver. He flicked his tongue out to taste her, reveling in the way she gasped when he did so. She was always so responsive. Every movement, every sound that he caused her to make set him ablaze. He slid his hand up her leg, under the oversized T-shirt she slept in, palm gliding over the smoothness of her until his fingers met the lacy edge of her panties. His fingers traced along the hem, back and forth to tease them both, before dipping in and squeezing the curve of her bottom. Wanda wrapped her arms around his neck and captured his lips in a sweet, yet sultry kiss, a promise of pleasures to come. “Clothes off. Please,” she whispered into the corner of his mouth, between kisses, and in moments he had phased out of them, leaving himself bare before her in all ways. This woman, his woman, possibly the only person in the world who saw him as truly human, who never shied away from his body, as different as it may be...he could trust her with his soul, and he refused to withhold any piece of himself from her. His faith was rewarded by the look of desire and love in her eyes. She saw him exactly as he was, accepted him, and loved him for it. He watched her slide her hand between them, watched her wrap her fingers around his now throbbing length and gently stroke him. The touch of her warm palm was bliss. She was looking down as well, entranced by what she was doing to him, and Vision placed a soft kiss on her forehead, letting her do as she wished. She kept her touches light and slow, and Vision could sense the need for kindness behind her actions even without being connected to her. There was pain in her heart tonight, and he would ease that for her if he could. Vision lifted her shirt, and she released her hold on him so he could remove it. Her long, silky hair tumbled back down over her bare shoulders, and the sight of her nearly took his breath away. She defined the word beautiful for him, with the sparkling green of her eyes, the glow of her skin, and her soft curves that seemed the perfect image of femininity. Wanda’s body was a wonder, like her mind and her heart, not completely unflawed, but perfect for those flaws. And she was his. She blushed under his awed gaze, and he took the opportunity to kiss her once more. He slid his arms under her and shifted so he could lay her back on the bed, between her long legs that parted so easily for him, his lips still pressed to hers. Her fingers stroked the back of his neck, his shoulders, every touch leaving a trail of heat behind. He moved lower, kissing his way down her throat and chest, taking her hardened nipple into his mouth and gently suckling it. His swirled his tongue over it, flicked at the tiny nub until she was gasping, the sweetest music. She arched her back, a silent plea for more, and he turned his attention to her other breast, running his tongue over the plush curves of it before taking the nipple into his mouth. She held his head close, but not tightly, just a gentle pull to signal her want. He lost track of time making love to her breasts, only knowing that by the time he moved lower, she was whimpering and writhing beneath him. Whimpers changed to sighs as he kissed and licked his way down her stomach, feeling her muscles jump beneath his touch. He could smell her arousal, wanted the taste of it on his tongue. He nuzzled her through her panties, ran his tongue over her through the damp cloth, and she spread her legs wider for him. He carefully stroked her with his finger, trailing it over her panty-covered slit and pressing in slightly so he could feel more of her heat. He wanted to tease her longer, to draw this out for them both, but her scent beckoned to him, throwing gasoline on the fire of his lust. It took only moments to pull the tiny bit of lace down her legs and drop it on the floor. Mere seconds beyond that, and his tongue was buried between her folds, his senses immersed in her. Her body shook and trembled before him, her head pressed back into the pillow, mouth open in a wordless cry. Sliding his hands under her, he lifted her ass slightly to give himself better access. He dipped his tongue into her, flicked and licked his way up to her clit, then swirled his tongue over the tiny bundle of nerves until she was biting her hand to keep from screaming. She came hard onto his mouth, and he drank her down greedily. Wanda lay there afterwards for the longest time, with one hand over her eyes, just breathing. Vision sat up and waited, stroking her thighs and hips soothingly as he watched her. When she looked at him again, her eyes were dry but her lips trembled, and he leaned down to kiss the sadness away. Her mouth was sweet and soft, and he offered her all of his love through that connection. Tracing his jaw with one hand, Wanda reached down between them and closed her hand around his cock. Vision couldn’t help but shudder, his every nerve ending attuned to her touch. He was helpless before her, at the mercy of her desire, and she looked at him with knowing eyes, eyes older than their years. Wanda brought her knees up as she positioned him at her entrance, and their eyes stayed locked as he pushed inside her, not stopping until he was buried completely inside of her welcoming heat. He fucked her slowly, desperately trying to hold onto the thinning threads of his control. She gasped every time he fully embedded himself within her, but her wide eyes stayed fixed on him. Vision couldn’t last. Being with her had ripped away his ability to hold back. The fire was growing inside of him, all-consuming, greedy. He thrust into her harder and harder still, until she was having to brace herself against the headboard with one hand while she clutched at him with the other. Her eyes were wild, needy, her legs wrapped around his waist. The bed shook with the force of his thrusts, a steady, slow rhythm. He came explosively, breath rushing out as he buried his face in her neck. Distantly, he was aware Wanda was coming as well, her body clenching and fluttering around his cock. He moaned her name into the pillow, and her fingers dug hard into his back, hard enough that if he’d been completely human, she would have left deep, bloody scratches. Vision barely felt it. They kissed sweetly, softly, and she stopped him when he made to pull away. “Stay,” she said simply, and that was all he required. He was hers. Vision carefully shifted so he was on his back with her resting atop him, his cock still inside of her. Wanda rested her head on his chest, and he could feel her breathing even out into sleep. He ran his fingers through her hair, gently working out the tangles while she slept, watching over her. This was where he belonged. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent”Chapter Twenty-ThreeBy darthelwig++++She slipped into his mind as she slid her tongue into his mouth. Vision kissed her slowly, enjoying the taste and feel of her. He was in no rush. He immersed himself in her arousal, a low, simmering heat that grew with every movement of his lips on hers.Wanda had straddled him, panties discarded on the floor, dress pushed up around her waist as she pressed herself against the erection straining in his pants. He could feel the wet heat between her legs almost as if no fabric separated them at all. Her desire always burned so hot, so fierce. It was raw and pure and so damn beautiful.She moaned as she caught the edge of that thought, experienced the pleasure he felt simply at her touch.Vision ran his hands up her back, over the soft material of her dress, and buried his face in her neck. He traced the lines of her throat with his teeth and tongue, not daring to mark her, but wishing he could. The idea of her walking around the next day bearing the marks of his possession made him painfully hard.He contented himself with drawing breathless moans and sighs from her lips. He covered every bit of her that he could reach with the gentle caress of his tongue. He ran his nails down her back until he could reach under her dress and clutch the soft curve of her ass. They moaned together as she ground herself down on his crotch, seeking friction.Vision phased out of his clothes, suddenly needing the sensation of her skin on his own. He spread his legs, forcing hers to part even further, the smoothness of her inner thighs tempting him to touch her. He moved a hand between her legs from behind, slid the tip of his finger into her wet heat, and nearly came from the waves of pleasure rolling off her. Wanda rocked back onto his finger, taking him deeper.She tired of that quickly, pushing him backwards into the mattress. She adjusted her dress so that her pussy was pressed unhindered against the length of his cock, and then she started to move. Vision’s mind very nearly blanked out from the surge of ecstasy that followed. Wanda was bent over him, hands braced on his chest as she slid the wet heat of her core over his erection, it was torture. It was bliss. She was a goddess.Her hips moved more forcefully as she approached her orgasm, and Vision palmed her breasts through her dress, squeezing them gently. She let out a breathy moan as she came, and he felt how insanely slick she became from her juices.Wanda took the span of a few breaths to recover before she repositioned herself and slid down on his length, taking him fully in one smooth movement.“Wanda,” he breathed, hands clutching at her hips, and she smiled down at him, her eyes darkened with lust. She rolled her hips experimentally, testing his reactions, and seemed pleased when his hips rose up to meet her.She fucked him slow, watching his face while she did so. Vision tried hard to be gentle, but the pleasure was too great, and he was having a difficult time maintaining his control. He didn’t want this to end, didn’t want to come too soon, but he could feel her pleasure feeding his own, multiplying it until his need would soon be unstoppable.Wanda sensed it. She leaned over him, speeding up and rocking harder against him. Her clit bumped against him with every thrust, he could feel it sending lightning bolts of ecstasy through her body, and that was the final straw. Vision’s fingers closed tightly on her hips, and he exploded. He fucked her hard, yanking her down to meet his every thrust, and she ground against him, dragging out her pleasure. Her own orgasm was quick and powerful, sending him tipping over the edge for a second time, and when he finally opened his eyes again, she was slouched over him as if completely drained.She cradled Vision’s face as he stared up at her, unable to formulate words. How could he describe the paradise he found in her arms? How did he explain what she made him feel, when she made him feel everything? She gave him an understanding smile as she traced her fingers over his lips.“I love you,” she said.“I love you.”And that was enough. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent”Chapter Twenty-FourBy darthelwig++++Vision reclined against the headboard of Wanda’s bed, listening to the sounds of her emerging from the shower. He closed his eyes and folded his hands over his stomach.She didn’t expect him here. They were supposed to be getting ready for a party, but he needed her, and so he waited.“Vision?” She called to him from across the room, confused, but welcoming. Her voice was soft, her accent like a comforting melody, and he smiled. When he allowed himself to look at her, his breath caught in his chest. She was so beautiful, wrapped in a towel, hair falling in damp curls around her face, her skin flushed from the hot water. “Is something wrong?” she asked, concerned. Vision sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed, holding his hand out to her.“Come here,” he said. Wanda took his hand and he guided her to stand between his legs. She still held the towel closed, but he gently took it from her. He unwrapped her with tantalizing slowness, savoring the moment, and her breath hitched as he slowly bared her damp skin to his gaze. He felt overly warm now, and in some distant part of his brain he wondered at all the seemingly impossible things this one woman could make him feel.“Wanda.” One word, to encapsulate all the desire, all the love, everything he felt in this moment. Her name, the definition of his happiness. He held the towel out to the sides as he let his eyes roam over the soft fullness of her breasts, down her sleek torso to the trim curls at the juncture of her legs, and back up until he met her gaze. “You are so beautiful.”She smiled down at him so prettily, pleased at his simple compliment.Vision could wait no longer. He leaned forward to wrap his lips around one dusky nipple, earning himself a breathy little moan. He used the towel to pull her closer, to hold her there while he ravished her breasts. Wanda cradled his head in her hands, caressed the smooth lines of Vibranium and skin as she watched him, lips parted in quiet gasps. Vision didn’t stop until he’d left marks on her skin, around her nipples, little love bites where no one would see.“We don’t have much time,” Wanda whispered, need putting a decided edge in her voice. Vision looked up at her, admiring the way she looked, flushed with arousal. It was a sight he would never tire of.“We have time enough for this,” he said. He dropped the towel and pulled her into his lap, and they both moaned as she sank onto his cock. Wanda began to move her hips, but he stilled her, and she looked at him in confusion.“Let me,” he said, and he slid his hand between them, his fingers searching out her swollen clit. Her eyes widened as he stroked it, reaching lower to capture some of her wetness and then swirling it over the tiny bud. He could feel little tremors of pleasure rush through her body, through her cunt where he was buried inside of her, threatening his control.He watched her face while he pleasured her, watched as her eyes closed, as she bit her lip to hold back her cries. She had her hands on his shoulders to steady herself, fingers digging into his muscles. It was perfect. She was perfect.It wasn’t long, though, before Wanda began to lose control. Her hips bucked, back arched and body shaking, and Vision stopped what he was doing to slap her ass. Her eyes snapped open and she stared at him in a mute plea, but she stopped moving, like the good girl she was.“Be still,” he ordered, and she nodded shakily. She whimpered as his fingers found her again, giving her clit a light pinch and pull. She was close, he could feel it, but she would come his way or not at all.He could see the strain on Wanda’s pretty face as she kept herself still under his touch. Vision took one hardened nipple between his teeth and tugged, and her entire body shuddered in response, but she held fast to her restraint, and he smiled in satisfaction. He ached to pound himself into her, to fuck her so hard she couldn’t walk. She was wet and hot around his throbbing cock, tight and quivering, and so ready.Vision sped up the small circles he was rubbing around her clit, added more pressure, and that’s all it took. She buried her face in his shoulder and came with a loud cry.He almost joined her, but instead gritted his teeth against the way she clenched and milked his cock until he was sure he wouldn’t simply burst, then he lay back, dragging her down with him, and finally let himself take her in earnest. He wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her down so her legs were spread wide on either side of him, and thrust hard and fast up into her. His feet were still braced on the floor, giving him extra leverage, and he fucked her mercilessly. Wanda couldn’t move, just lay spread on top of him taking his cock.He lost himself in the feel of her as she climaxed once again, grabbing her hips and pulling her hard onto his cock as he gave one final, mighty thrust and came. His release was almost painful in its intensity, leaving him feeling drained and weak, completely spent. He moaned when Wanda finally moved, and his sensitive cock slipped out of her warmth.She kissed him slowly, her lips soft and sweet, and his heart seemed filled to bursting with the love he felt for this woman.“I’ll feel you between my legs all night,” she said, laughing. “Was that your evil plan?”“Perhaps,” he said softly. “Or perhaps I simply needed you.” She said nothing, just smiled shyly, blushing and ducking her head. “Shall I help you get dressed?”“If you help me get dressed, I’ll never get ready,” she said, smacking his chest and hauling herself out of bed. “Now get moving. I need to rinse or I’ll smell like sex all night.”“I think I like the sound of that,” Vision admitted, his gaze becoming slightly predatory. “Men scenting me on you.”“Hmm. Then maybe I’ll skip the rinse,” she said. She leaned down to caress his face. “I do love to make you happy.”“You always do,” he said, pressing a kiss into her palm. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent”Chapter Twenty-FiveBy darthelwig++++This game had Wanda aching with lust.A thrill went through her at the thought that somewhere in this sea of masks was her lover, disguised so well that no one but her could ever know it was him. His recent discovery of being able to change his appearance was giving them the perfect opportunity to play. Which of them would find the other first?She hadn’t seen him before the masquerade, hadn’t seen his costume or mask, he’d been careful about that. He wanted her to use other senses to find him. And he hadn’t seen her, either. She wondered how much he would like the body-hugging dress she’d chosen, and her hair, which had been carefully styled into a loose updo of curls. Definitely not her normal look, but done with him in mind, all the same.She moved through the room, keeping her mind open to him, but not actively searching him out. That would have the game over before it had even really begun. Some men were obviously not her Vision, too bulky or loud, but some she had to brush against as she passed in order to be sure. None of them were him, though she thought she felt his mind brush hers a few times, light touches that had her keyed up and wet.Wanda took a break, grabbing a drink and standing off to the side to survey the crowd as she sipped her champagne.“Having fun?” Natasha asked, appearing out of nowhere. Wanda would have jumped had she not been so used to the woman’s habits already. God, she’d had her mind so focused on Vision that she hadn’t even sensed Nat approaching, even actively using her powers. This man was making her crazy. She released her power so she could concentrate.“It’s an interesting party. I think I like it,” Wanda replied, and that was saying something considering she typically hated this sort of social setting. Which Natasha knew. But Wanda had been looking forward to this evening ever since she and Vision had planned their little game, and maybe that’s why he had suggested it. “Thank you for helping me prepare for it. I don’t think I would have done as good a job.”Natasha looked Wanda over, taking in the dress and hair. “I do good work,” she said with a smirk and a laugh. “I noticed you cruising the crowd. Looking for anything in particular?”“Looking for Mr. Right, I think,” Wanda said, laughing at her own in-joke. Luckily, Nat seemed to take it as a joke as well.“Good luck with that. I’m not sure that breed exists.” Nat’s painted lips were twisted in a wry smile, and Wanda knew she was thinking of Dr. Banner. A sore spot, and not one she’d meant to bring up. Natasha visibly shook it off, though, and her smile became more genuine. “Be safe, but have fun,” Nat said, and Wanda nodded to acknowledge her instruction. With that, Natasha melted back into the crowd, leaving Wanda to sigh in melancholy.“That is not the sort of sound I want to hear from you tonight,” came a voice from close behind her. A strong arm slid around her waist, and she smiled.“Vision.” She couldn’t help but smile, her spirits lifting.“I found you,” he whispered against her temple, his warm body pressed firmly against her back.“How did you find me?” she asked, feeling slightly scattered by the possessive way he held her, his breath on her skin making her shiver.“I would know these curves anywhere,” he said, his hand coming to rest on her hip. The way he said it made her insides quiver, his smooth voice roughened by desire.Wanda turned in his arms, wanting to see him. He looked so different, with pale, human skin and blonde hair, which was mostly covered by a top hat that could’ve looked ridiculous, but which suited him perfectly. Behind his mask were piercing blue eyes, eyes that should’ve been those of a stranger, however she found them strangely familiar and comforting. Perhaps it was the way he was looking at her, with love, adoration, and desire. This was her Vision. There could be no doubt.She ran her fingers along the edge of his hat before pulling him down into a heated kiss. His grip on her hips tightened, and she was aware of his struggle to prevent his hands from roaming in front of all these people. She pulled back only to drain her glass and leave it on the table, not wanting to be in the crowd any longer.“Take me somewhere quiet,” she said.“I have just the place.” Vision took her hand and led her out of the ballroom. Wanda tried to keep track of which direction they were headed, but got a little lost along the way. However, she trusted that he knew where he was going, and they eventually ended up on a large balcony overlooking the manicured lawn below, where the party had overflowed into the night. The balcony was lit only by the light that spilled out from downstairs, and they could clearly hear the laughter and chatter of the other guests.She slowly wandered the length of the balcony, taking in the view, then leaned back against a pillar and raised an eyebrow.“You scouted this out earlier,” she said, and he grinned.“I did. I have plans for this evening, and for you.” He walked towards her, like a predator approaching its prey, and she swallowed hard, her heart pounding in her chest. She couldn’t look away from his intense gaze, couldn’t move even if she’d wanted to, and then he was in her space, and her entire body felt him although he hadn’t touched her at all. Her nipples tightened to almost painful points, and she could feel a fresh wave of heat and wetness in her panties. Vision’s nostrils flared, and she knew he could smell it, could smell her arousal.Before Wanda could say anything, he dipped his head down, sucked on her neck, making her gasp. His hat fell to the ground, unnoticed, and she clutched at his hair, the unfamiliarity of it somehow making the experience naughtier, more exciting. He nipped at her, and she arched into him. Never before had Vision dared to leave a mark in such a visible place. She wanted this, wanted him.“Lower,” she managed to say, and she felt him smile against her.“As you wish,” he said, clearly amused, but kissing his way down her collarbone and chest. . She inhaled sharply as he pulled the top of her dress down just enough to expose her breasts to his hungry mouth.“I should never have shown you that movie.” Wanda moaned as he squeezed and licked her soft flesh, then took her nipple between his teeth and tugged on it. His hot mouth closed around the aching nub, soothing it with the swirl of his tongue. She watched him lavish attention on her breasts, the sensations nearly overwhelming, her entire being focused on his touch. He moaned as he sucked her, and she could take no more. She grasped his hair and pulled his head away, his mouth making a popping sound as it left her breast.“Lower,” she all but growled at him. Vision grinned as he dropped to his knees. He held her gaze and slid his hands up her thighs, lifting her dress as he went until her lacy panties were exposed. He didn’t look away, just watched her face as he leaned forward and ran his tongue over her through the thin material.Wanda could barely breathe, could only feel as his tongue flicked over her clit. It was perfect. It wasn’t enough.“Don’t tease,” she begged.“As you wish.” In the blink of an eye, her panty was at her feet, and he was spreading her legs as she stepped out of it. She would’ve screamed as Vision dove between her legs and sucked her clit, if she could’ve made any sound at all. Instead, she could only brace herself on his shoulders and curl against him as she exploded in a fierce orgasm, all breath knocked out of her.Vision never stopped working her clit, didn’t stop until she began to whimper, then he began his attack on the rest of her. His tongue slid through her sensitive folds, dipped into her dripping core, and Wanda stood up straight to give him better access, grasping at the pillar for support. He fucked her on his tongue, making the most obscene noises, and she found herself racing towards another climax, rocking her hips onto his face for more as she came all over him.And Vision still wasn’t done. He sucked her, licked her, nipped at her clit and made her gasp. Wanda was a writhing mess for him, her juices dripping down her thighs, where he paused to lick them up, her hips jerking and rolling as she sought more. She ached for penetration, to be filled and stretched, but he kept his fingers from her, and she rode his tongue instead, until a third orgasm rushed over her, making her cry out loudly.“Shh,” Vision said, placing a last kiss on her clit and standing up. “You’ll let everyone know what we’re doing up here.”Wanda couldn’t seem to bring herself to care. She couldn’t think, her mind still overwhelmed by pleasure. She barely even noticed Vision turning her, bending her over, until suddenly he was sliding into her, and she cried out as her knees went weak. His cock felt so perfect inside her, stretching her and reaching all the spots that had ached for touch so badly, and she moaned with each hard thrust that he made. He kept the rhythm slow as he pounded her needy cunt, his fingers digging into her hips.She came on him, tight and pulsing around his rock-hard erection, and he swore. She was still in the throes of pleasure when he pushed her forward, body forced up against the hard surface as he fucked her rough and fast. His hands left her hips, grasped the pillar on either side of her, and she was crushed uncomfortably against the stone as he climaxed, shoving his cock into her as deep as it could go.Even through the discomfort, the sound of her lover groaning in her ear, the feel of his erection twitching inside of her sensitive pussy, was enough to get her off again. She shuddered through another orgasm that left her feeling drained and completely spent.“I’m sorry,” Vision said, running his hands over her shoulders as he stepped back. “Are you alright? I lost control.” The regret in his voice tore at her heart. She wrapped her arms around him and reached up to kiss him.“I’m just fine, Vis. Don’t worry. You didn’t hurt me. Don’t think I didn’t hear you swear, though. I didn’t think you had it in you.” She grinned, pleased she could push him so far.“Well,” he said, rubbing soft circles on her back. “You are very good at making me lose control, although perhaps I should be more careful next time.” He nodded towards the pillar, and Wanda turned to see the stone had cracked and broken where his hands had been.“Oh my god!”“Exactly.” He sighed. “That’s never happened before.”“And I don’t want you afraid of it happening again,” Wanda said, capturing his face in her hands. “You would never hurt me, Vis. Ever. So I don’t want you doubting yourself, and I don’t want anything between us to change. That would hurt me.” She stared up at him, begging him to understand, and he placed a soft kiss on her lips.“As you wish.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent” Chapter Twenty-Six By darthelwig ++++ Wanda closed her eyes as she felt Vision slide her panty down her legs. She leaned back into the cushions that propped her up against the arm of the couch and reveled in the feeling of being bare before him. His hands slid up her legs as he positioned himself on the couch between them, and she could feel his hot breath on her inner thighs. His lips were soft as he kissed the smooth skin there, so close to where she truly wanted him. “You stopped reading,” he said, squeezing her thighs, but not yet moving closer to her aching core. She moaned and threw an arm over her face. “Open your eyes,” he commanded, and she couldn’t help but obey. She looked down at him, nestled between her legs, and bit her lip. She could do this. Vision pulled her thighs further apart as she picked up the book. “I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart)” The breath caught in her throat as she felt Vision’s tongue touch her folds, already slick and swollen for him. He stopped with that one touch, and she forced herself to focus. “I am never without it (Anywhere I go you go, my dear; And whatever is done by only me Is your doing, my darling)” A breathy moan cut off her reading as waves of pleasure rolled over her. She whimpered as Vision’s tongue circled her clit, close but not quite touching, before sliding back down to her dripping hole. She sucked in a shaky breath and turned her attention back to the book before he stopped again. “I fear no fate (For you are my fate, my sweet) I want no world (For-“ She cried out and threw her head back for a moment as his lips finally found her clit, but she forced her eyes back open, forced herself to continue, her voice trembling. “(For beautiful you are my world, my true) And it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant And whatever a sun will always sing is you.” “Fuck,” she cried, as he sucked her clit, and her hips jerked up to press herself more firmly against him. He flicked the tiny bud with his tongue, making her shudder. “Continue,” he said, and nipped the smooth skin of her thigh. She whined, but she obeyed, needing more of his touch. She would do whatever he wanted as long as he made her come. God, she needed to come already. “Here is the deepest secret nobody knows” She gulped, took a steadying breath as he dipped his tongue into her core, lapping up her wetness. “(Here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud-“ She bit her lip hard and rocked her hips as he fucked her on his tongue. “-and the sky of the sky of a tree called life Which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)” She was going to come soon. It was inevitable. He was playing her body like a maestro, hitting every right note, and she could barely think. “And this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart.” Her voice rose and broke on the last word, her chest heaving as she panted. Barely aware, she moaned with every breath. So close, she was so close. She scrambled to read the last of it, desperate for him to finish her. “I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart)” She almost whined the last verse, needy as she was. Just as she spoke the last words, Vision sealed his mouth over her clit once again, sucking and lashing it with his hot tongue, and the dam inside her burst. She cried out loudly, the book falling to the floor as she reached for her lover, pulling him harder against her, mindlessly seeking her bliss. He didn’t let up, riding her through one orgasm only to slide two fingers into her and fuck her through another. Wanda was breathless and limp as she came down from her peak. Vision pressed soft kisses into her stomach, reminding her he was there, and she stroked her fingers over his head as she hummed in satisfaction. “Did I do alright?” she asked. She could feel Vision smile against her. “You read that very well,” he said. She laughed at his earnest tone, but she was pleased. “Well, thank you for helping me improve my English reading,” she said. “You certainly know how to motivate me.” Vision turned his head to press a kiss into her palm. “Anything for you, Wanda,” he said, and she could hear the love in his voice. She gently caressed his cheek. “And for you, my Vision. Always.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent” Chapter Twenty-Seven By darthelwig ++++ “Please,” Wanda said, sobbing her pleasure into the sheets. Vision nudged her legs wider, pressed her harder into the bed. His hands pinned her wrists to the mattress on either side of her head as she lay flat on her stomach beneath him. He shifted, pulling his hard cock from inside of her and she whined, but he was only repositioning himself. He gave her a moment to breathe, then thrust hard back into her, driving the air from her lungs. She let out a strangled moan as he withdrew from her body again, only to plunge forcefully back in. He rode her slow, with forceful, sharp jerks of his hips. He watched her face, watched tears fall from her eyes even as she came, bucking beneath him, her body clenching hard around his cock, making him groan. He didn’t stop, didn’t let up, determined to give her what she needed, what they both wanted. She tried to brace her knees and fuck herself back onto him, but he forced her down flat again and continued at his own pace. She whimpered, but submitted, and he continued his assault on her eager body. He wanted to growl with primal satisfaction at her submission. This woman awakened parts of him he never believed could exist. He powered into her steadily, and she let out a little cry of pleasure/pain each time he bottomed out in her. He could feel her body tightening up again, tension mounting as she built up to another orgasm, and he sped up his thrusts until he was hammering his cock into her, and suddenly she was coming. Loud moans, the sound of skin meeting skin, harsh breathing filled the room as he rode her from one explosive climax to the next until she was weeping. Vision slowed, just rocking gently against her as she recovered, but keeping her pinned. Her flesh still quivered and fluttered around his cock, and he grit his teeth to maintain control. Her pleasure, her needs, came first, always. Even if he just wanted to finish what he started, rut into her until his lust was sated. He laid his body fully against her, pressed kisses to her shoulder, giving her the warmth of his presence, and slowly her crying subsided, and she arched her back slightly to press her ass harder into him. He rocked more deeply against her, testing her readiness, and smiled as she sighed. This time he moved slowly but gently, lifting himself onto his elbows so he wasn’t putting his weight onto her wrists anymore, though still refusing to relinquish his hold. His thrusts now were more leisurely, and he groaned as she clenched her inner muscles on his throbbing cock. He nipped her ear in reply, and she laughed quietly. Her smile aroused him further, and he couldn’t help the way his hips sped up. He felt Wanda grow even wetter around him as her body responded. Desire coursed through him now, the desire she always stirred within him, that drove him to take her again and again. He bit her shoulder, marking her as his, beyond caring about who might see it, and Wanda moaned and shuddered. Wanda’s entire body convulsed as her pleasure peaked once again. Distantly, Vision heard her cries, but it was the feel of her pussy clamping down on him painfully hard that drove him over the edge. He bucked uncontrollably against her as he came harder than he could ever remember doing before. When awareness returned, he realized he was crushing Wanda’s shaking body to the bed. He pushed himself up, and both of them groaned. “Are you alright?” he asked, gazing down at her in concern. He could see her smile. “Never better. That was amazing,” she said, and though her voice was breathless and weak, she sounded satisfied. She hissed as he pulled out of her, and he frowned. “Just a little tender.” “I will take care of you,” Vision said. He pressed a kiss to her shoulder where he had marked her, then rose and helped her roll over so he could pick her up. “I can walk,” Wanda said, laughing. Her face was flushed, hair sticking to her with sweat, and he found her stunning. “I will take care of you,” he repeated firmly. Wanda sighed happily and cuddled into him, head on his shoulder and breath tickling his neck. “Will you hold me like this for a while first?” she asked. “I like it.” “Of course, Wanda. I would give you anything you desired.” He held her close, grateful for his body that wouldn’t tire no matter how long she needed him to cradle her. “I know. That’s why I love you,” she said, smiling prettily. She kissed his jaw and settled against him, closing her eyes. “I love you too, Wanda. I always will.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent”Chapter Twenty-EightBy darthelwig++++“‘Date With an Avenger.’ Really? This is Stark’s idea of a good time?” Wanda was furious. Her anger was a tempest filling the bedroom with crackling energy.“Auctioning off a date with an Avenger is a good fundraising idea,” Vision said mildly.“Stark has billions. Why does he need to fundraise using us? Are we prizes to be trotted out and put on display?”“It’s also an excellent way for the Avengers to build goodwill with the public,” he pointed out.“You mean with his rich friends,” Wanda snapped. “As if I want some rich, entitled asshole telling me how ‘exotic’ I sound, and how ‘gorgeous’ I am, and basically drooling all over me like has happened before.” She wrinkled her nose in disgust.“I admit. The idea of another man being close and wanting to touch you displeases me.” Understatement. He would rip the hands off any man who tried, if she didn’t kill them first.“And someone will want to have you, my Vision,” Wanda said, moving close. “Man or woman, I don’t care. They can’t have you. You are mine.” She pounced on him, mouth seeking his in feverish kisses as she drove them both against the wall. Her hands traveled downwards, one firmly squeezing his ass while the other rubbed his cock through his clothing. He moaned into her mouth, crushing his lips against hers as he cupped her face.Wanda pulled him over to her bed and roughly shoved him down on it. He propped himself up on his elbows to watch her while she began unbuttoning her shirt, eyes hotly fixed on him.“No one touches what is mine,” she said hoarsely. Dropping her shirt to the floor, she ran her hands over her bare breasts. “No one touches what is yours.” Next to go was her skirt, and her panty, then she was naked before him, flushed with anger and desire. “Clothes,” she ordered, and Vision phased out of them, her ever-willing love. She straddled his lap, wrapping her hand around his hard cock as she did so.“Wanda,” he breathed, eyes wide.“This is mine,” she said huskily. “No one else has touched it. No one else has put their lips to it, licked it, sucked it. No one else has felt it sliding into their body. No one else has made you gasp and writhe and moan, or felt you lose control. No one else has seen your face when you come.” He was gaping at her, chest hitching with every breath. Wanda positioned him at her entrance. “And no one ever will,” she said as she slid down his length, taking him all the way to the root, groaning at the feeling of fullness as her body stretched around him.Vision collapsed back against the mattress, his hands gripping the blanket beneath them in tight fists. Wanda raised herself up and then sank slowly back down on his cock, savoring every exquisite moment.“Mine,” she whispered. She palmed her breasts and squeezed as she rode him, and Vision watched, entranced. She plucked at her hard nipples, enjoying the way he stared, needing his attention. She braced herself on his chest as she worked her hips in slow circles, drawing a moan from her lover, who still hadn’t touched her. His gaze alternated between her face and breasts, and she smirked.“Those are yours, Vision,” she said breathlessly. He reached for her finally, tweaked her nipples, and she gasped. “Fuck. All yours, my Vision. Would you have another man touch me?” Vision’s face darkened, and he flipped them so he had her pinned to the bed.“Never,” he growled, thrusting forcefully into her. He leaned down to bite and suck her nipples as he pounded her hard, driving the breath from her lungs with every plunge into her silky cunt. “Never,” he said again, and reached between them to pinch her clit, covering her mouth with his to swallow her scream. Wanda bucked against his hand, desperate for more. She was making little noises every time he bottomed out in her, unable to control herself, wild in her lust. She clutched at him, eyes open but unseeing, aware only of the pain/pleasure as he claimed her.Her orgasm was sudden and explosive, and she writhed wildly beneath him, but he only fucked her harder, faster, deeper. Her body responded, climbing to another climax, and as she shook apart beneath his heaving body, she heard Vision’s guttural roar of triumph as he came.He nuzzled her neck, dragging his teeth over the soft skin, and her sore pussy clenched around him.“You know this will be nothing like you are imagining,” he said softly, and she nodded.“I know, but still. I can’t help but be jealous, Vision. They can be seen with you, and I can’t.” Her throat was tight with emotion, with tears she refused to shed, and Vision cupped her face.“We could go public,” he said.“You know this is not a good time. Not with how tense things are between everyone.”“I suppose.” He kissed her tenderly. “Know that I love you, Wanda, and I will always be yours.”“As I am yours, Vision. No matter what.”He smiled and kissed her again, and she rolled her hips against him.“More?” he asked.“More,” she said, and pulled him down into another kiss. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent” Chapter Twenty-Nine By darthelwig ++++ Wanda knelt naked on the carpet, knees spread, leaving her slick folds parted. Vision stood before her, still fully clothed and taking in the sight of her. She looked up at him with worshipful eyes, awaiting whatever it was he chose to give her. Such a good girl. So breathtakingly beautiful. “And what would you do for me, Wanda?” he asked. “Anything,” she said quickly. “Anything? That covers quite a lot.” His lips quirked up into a tiny smile. “I am not sure I believe you.” “Anything, Vision. I swear it. Whatever you desire.” She sounded anxious, eager to please, desperate for him to believe in her devotion. And he did, utterly and without a doubt, but the game must be played. “Would you take my cock down your throat? As far, as hard as I can shove it in,” he said. “Yes,” she said. He watched her nipples harden at the thought, saw her breath hitch. “Hmm. Too easy. Would you let me fuck you, in full view of everyone? All of our teammates, watching you lose control.” “Yes,” she said, her eyes wide. Vision stroked his fingers through her hair, making her whine. “Would you strip naked in front of the base personnel? Let them touch you while I take your pretty pussy?” “Yes,” she said quietly, as if embarrassed by her response, but she still looked at him trustingly, knowing he would take care of her no matter what. “And would you allow me to fuck your little bottom? To take your final piece of virginity?” Not something they had discussed before. He could see the surprise in her eyes, but she didn’t hesitate for more than a second. She put herself in his hands. “If you wish,” she said, her voice soft but sure. Vision trailed his fingertips over her cheek, traced the curves of her lips, imagining them wrapped around his cock. Her eyes begged him for more, for his touch, but he stepped back instead. “Touch your breasts for me, Wanda. Let me see.” Her hands came up to caress the undersides of her breasts, then pressed and lifted them, presented them to him. She dropped them only to move her attention to her nipples, plucking and stroking them, her eyes on him the whole time. Vision watched her, his lust growing with every second. “Touch your cunt, Wanda, but do not come,” he ordered, his voice husky. She slid her hands down her torso and between her legs. She was careful to let him see that she used one finger to stroke her wet slit as her other hand pulled her lips further apart. She circled her slicked fingertip around her clit and her entire body shuddered. Her breaths were coming faster now, and she was making soft little high-pitched noises with every exhalation. Vision was achingly, painfully hard. He phased from his clothing and stood before her, resting his cock on her lips. She was a good girl, she waited for his direction, her upturned face so patient and submissive. She kept her hands between her legs as she’d been instructed even as he cupped her face in his palms. “Open,” he demanded, and she did, eagerly. He pushed his length into her mouth and down her throat in one hard thrust, forcing her to take him to the hilt. She gagged around him, struggled to breathe, but didn’t try to pull away. She moaned as he pulled out, allowing her a breath before burying himself inside her hot mouth again. She was so good. Always so good for him. He started a slow, hard rhythm, holding her head in place as he steadily fucked her face as if it was her pussy. He could feel her trembling, could hear her fingers thrusting into her sloppily wet cunt. She was going to come. He pulled out of her mouth, and she let out a tiny sound of disappointment. “You are not allowed to come yet,” he told her harshly, and she shivered. “Do you understand?” She nodded, but that was not enough. He wanted to hear it from her. “Say it,” he said firmly. “I understand,” she said, her voice hoarse and broken from his cock. The sound inflamed his lust, and he grabbed her head and thrust into her once again, giving no quarter as he pounded her face. “Mine to fuck,” he growled. “Mine to do with as I please." She made a garbled noise that could’ve been agreement, but he didn’t slow. He could feel his orgasm starting, and he pulled back one last time before shoving himself in as far as he could go, grinding against her face as he came. Her face was shiny with spit when he pulled out, pride on her face at having pleasured him in such a way. He caressed her cheek. “You may come now,” he said, and within seconds she was writhing against her hand, her eyes open and fixed on his as ecstasy overtook her. He smiled down at her, pleased beyond measure at her performance, her control. She blinked as she came down from her peak, chest heaving as she panted from her exertions. “Stand,” he told her, and she raised herself on shaky legs. He caught her as they gave out and settled her tenderly on the bed. “Wait here,” he said gently. When he returned, she was laying exactly as he’d left her. He set a glass of water on the bedside table and carefully cleaned her face with the damp washcloth he’d retrieved while she silently watched him. Afterwards, he helped her sit up and held the glass to her lips. She didn’t move to take the glass, but allowed him to hold it while she sipped, soothing her throat with the cool liquid. Her eyes never left him. “I would do anything for you,” she said when he put the glass back on the table. Her voice was almost gone, but she seemed unbothered by it, as she always was. This seriousness, though, this quiet watchfulness, this was different. “I know,” he said. “No. You don’t understand. I would do anything for you, not just allow you liberties with my body. I would kill for you, die for you. After Pietro...” She paused. “After Pietro, I lived for you.” Vision stared at her, unsure what to say to her confession, stunned by the magnitude of her devotion. “I love you, Vision. I wanted you to know these things.” She seemed nervous now, fidgeting, her fingers unable to stop twisting around each other until he laid his hand over hers. “I never imagined you could feel such things for me, Wanda. I never imagined I was capable of returning those feelings. But I have been yours from the start, from the first moment I saw you as I emerged from the cradle. There has never been, and never will be, another for me.” He kissed her softly, careful of her lips now swollen from their sex. “Hold me?” she asked. “Always. Forever,” he said, and she smiled at his vow as he gathered her in his arms. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- "Spent" Chapter Thirty by darthelwig ++++ “I want it,” she whispered, looking up into his eyes, trying to show him the depth of her conviction. He still looked unsure, but she pressed a soft kiss to his chin to reassure him. Wanda smiled at him, then took Vision’s hand in hers and slid it under her skirt, resting it on her panty-covered mound. His eyes were wide, almost startled, unsure of what to do. “Do you want this, Vision?” she asked, concerned. “Very much so,” he said softly, his voice hoarse and tight with nerves. Wanda reached up to cup his cheek, smiling sweetly. “Then don’t be afraid. You can touch me, Vis, as much as you want.” He swallowed hard, but his fingers began to move, tracing lightly over her panty, sending little tingles of pleasure through her. Their eyes stayed locked as he tentatively explored her, and she sighed happily as his hand dipped further between her legs. “That’s it, Vis.” She grabbed his shoulders for support as she spread her legs a bit wider. “That’s a good start.” She sucked in a deep breath as his fingers trailed lightly over her clit before finding their way to her hot core. Even through the cotton of her panty, his touch was electric, and she couldn’t help but press herself more firmly against his hand. To his credit, he didn’t move away when she rocked her hips onto him, seeking more. Wanda forced herself to stop, to let Vision move at his own pace. She didn’t want to overwhelm him. He was just so damn irresistible, so sexy, and he felt so good. She leaned back against the wall and let him explore her. It wasn’t long before he was silently asking for permission to slide his hand into her panties, his searching gaze fixed on her. Wanda bit her lip and nodded, bracing herself for the exquisite pleasure she knew was coming. Still, she wasn’t prepared for the feel of his fingers brushing over her bare clit, and she gasped as her entire core went liquid. Vision jerked away from her, but she grasped his forearm, preventing him from removing his hand from her underwear. “I’m fine, Vis. You didn’t hurt me. It felt good,” she said, giving him a comforting smile. “You would tell me if I hurt you.” “I would, but you won’t,” she said firmly. “Trust me.” “Always, Wanda.” He smiled at her then, and god, was he beautiful when he smiled. Slowly, watching her face closely, he touched her again, this time lower. His fingers met her wet folds, and she sighed blissfully. He traced over her with gentle touches before smiling mischievously and slipping one finger into her waiting pussy. Wanda quietly moaned as he fingered her, his palm pressed against her clit. Vision kissed her sweetly, and she quickly deepened it until he was moaning too, his free hand pulling her tight as she could be against him. “Shh. We must be quiet, Vision. Everyone will hear,” she whispered against his lips as she clutched at him. They weren’t exactly in a private space, but their chemistry was too explosive, with an immediacy too strong to ignore. Neither wanted to wait for this. They had been waiting for too long already. Vision’s finger pumped into her slowly, learning her rhythms as she grew wetter around him, and she was overcome by the need to touch him. She slid her hand down and grasped him through his pants, pressing her palm along his hard length. She marveled at the size of him, so tempting, so perfect. His shuddering cry as she squeezed his erection sent shivers through her body. He braced himself against the wall with one hand while the other continued to finger her, and she wrapped one arm around his neck while she stroked him. She smirked as he phased his pants away to better feel her touch, and she watched his face as she began jerking him off in earnest. He was so sensitive, so pure, and it turned her on even more to see the pleasure wash over him, so obvious on his face. He forgot to keep touching her as his orgasm neared. Wanda reveled in having this powerful being helpless in her hands, at being able to bring Vision this pleasure, which brought him even closer to feeling human. "Wanda," he said, his voice strangled and eyes wide in confusion and perhaps a bit of worry at what he was feeling as he approached climax. She pulled his head down to hers and pressed their cheeks together as he came for the first time in his life, his entire body shaking. "That's it, Vis. It's okay," she whispered. "I've got you." She stroked his head until his breathing calmed and he straightened up to look at her. "I am so sorry, Wanda. I failed to pleasure you." "That's okay, Vis. I enjoyed doing that for you, and we have time for you to keep exploring if you'd like." She caressed his forearm down to where it disappeared beneath her skirt, and he twitched his fingers against her. His hand was still in her panties, still pressed into her wet heat, and her head fell back as he slid one long finger back inside her. The pleasure built up rapidly, even faster than before, as turned on as she was by watching Vision come. “More,” she begged softly. Vision looked confused, so she gathered herself enough to clarify. “Add another. Please.” She gasped as he slid another finger into her. Vision pressed her back against the wall and spread her legs wider, supporting her with one hand while he pleasured her. Wanda was in heaven. No one had touched her in so long, and no one had touched her like this, with such reverence and respect and awe. Without prompting, Vision added a third finger, stretching her deliciously, and Wanda knew she wasn’t going to last long. She wrapped a hand behind his head, pulled him close, pressed her face against his as she whispered. “I’m going to come, Vis,” she breathed, rocking against his hand now. “You’re going to make me come.” She strained against him, high-pitched, stuttering cries escaping her as she reached and found her peak. Vision kissed her as her pleasure crested, swallowing the sounds she couldn’t help but make. She sobbed her release into his mouth, shuddering from head to toe with the force of her orgasm. Finally, she could breathe again, and let go of her tight hold on Vision to see him staring at her in amazement. She pulled Vision’s hand from between her legs and held it up. He was soaked in her. “Do you want to taste me, Vision?” With wide eyes, he brought his fingers to his lips, and Wanda watched as he sucked her moisture from his skin. The sight turned her on all over again, Vision with eyes closed, slowly savoring her flavor. “Do you like it?” she asked, voice husky. “Very much,” Vision replied. "We can play with that more later," she said teasingly. "I look forward to it," he said, looking at her so seriously that she blushed. "Thank you, Wanda." "For what?" she asked. "For... for everything."He gave her a helpless shrug, a move so human she wondered if he realized he was doing it. "You're special to me too," she said, and pulled him down into a hug. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent” Chapter Thirty-One By Darthelwig ++++ “Use me, Vision. Take me.” Over her shoulder, she watched him raise an eyebrow and look down at her, his wanton lover, bent over the table before him with legs slightly spread. She parted her legs further to let him see her dripping pussy, so swollen and ready for him. Her body pressed into the cool wood, the sensation tightening her nipples where they were crushed against the hard surface. She wanted this. She wanted him. “Perhaps I have no desire to do so. Perhaps I have other things to do right now and you are interrupting me,” Vision said coolly. Wanda whined, a pathetic, needy sound she couldn’t help but make. Her hands braced on the table and she arched her back to present her ass to him more fully, trying so hard to tempt him. “Please, Vision. I need you.” And she did. Oh god, she did. A frustrating day full of rejection and distrust left her aching inside, a hole only Vision could fill. He moved behind her and caressed her ass, and her eyes slid closed with the pleasure of his touch. His hand moved to the small of her back, then downwards again, his fingers testing her wetness this time, and she squirmed as he parted her folds. “It’s fortunate for you that I would not see you suffer,” he said, his voice flat and without inflection. Without warning, he plunged inside her, all the way to the hilt. Her body was shoved hard against the table, pain in her legs where the edge would leave bruises, but he rammed into her again and any care for that pain faded away. All that was left was Vision, his body over hers and his cock piercing her cunt with slow, savage strokes. There was no rhythm to this, no union. He took her, and it hurt, and she moaned and whimpered as she accepted each punishing thrust. “Thank you, Vision,” she said softly as he was pulling back. “Say it again,” he commanded, as he powered into her once more, making her cry out. “Thank you, Vision,” she said, ever obedient, ever wanting to please him. He shoved her legs apart to bare her pussy even further, and drove into her so hard her entire body moved up the table, her feet leaving the floor. He grabbed her hips and dragged her back. “Is this what you wanted?” he asked, and oh god, it was. She needed the roughness, needed the release of her pain, needed it out. Her pussy ached, would be sore for days, but she was wet and hot and melting around him. “Yes,” she hissed, bonelessly accepting another hammer stroke of his cock. “Yes, Vision.” He reached under and found her clit, pinched it between two long fingers, and the pain/pleasure shot through her like a shock wave. Her entire body jerked and convulsed as she came, sobbing, tears running down her cheeks as she cried out in mindless ecstasy. She slowly became aware that, although he had stopped moving, Vision was still hard inside of her. He stepped backwards, and the feel of his cock sliding out of her abused pussy made her wet all over again. “You will clean me,” he said simply, and Wanda turned and dropped to her knees in front of him. She guided his cock to her lips with trembling fingers and took him deep in one long swallow, just like he’d fucked her. Her cheeks were still damp with her tears, and he reached down to brush them away as she sucked him clean, head bobbing back and forth along his length, tasting herself on him. It wasn’t long before he clutched her head and shoved his cock down her throat. She breathed through her nose as best she could, accepting him into her body however he wanted, wanting him to use her for his pleasure. He came with a guttural moan and a hard thrust against her face. She relaxed into it, fighting the urge to gag, enjoying the feel of his fingers tangled in and pulling at her hair. She pressed her thighs together as she knelt before him, her cunt hot and aching with renewed need. Vision finally pulled out of her mouth and leaned down to give her a sloppy, heated kiss. “What do you want, Wanda?” he asked quietly, his voice softer now, tender. “More.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- "Spent" Chapter Thirty-Two by darthelwig ++++ She jogged down the path through the woods around the facility, alone again as she was the slowest member of the team and everyone else had easily outpaced her. It was completely unfair. They were all conditioned from years of training, except for Vision, whose body was simply perfection. Speaking of Vision, he floated down and began to run next to her, his long legs easily keeping up. Totally unfair. They ran for a couple of minutes before Vision touched her arm to get her attention. “Wanda.” “Hmm?” she said distractedly. “Stop,” he commanded. He stopped in his tracks and she followed suit, looking at him in confusion. “Is something wrong, Vis?” she asked, catching her breath. The way he was gazing at her now sent shivers down her spine that pooled into heat between her legs, and she felt herself growing wet as her breath caught for reasons other than jogging. God, what this man could do to her. “Yes,” he said, his normally smooth voice roughened by desire. He reached out and squeezed her breast, ran his thumb over her stiffened nipple and she gasped. “I can only watch you run for so long before I must have you. Your breasts are such a temptation.” Vision lowered his head and sucked her nipple hard into his mouth, her sports bra proving a flimsy barrier to his lust. She clutched at his head, pulled him closer, needy and desperate little sounds escaping her throat. She moaned outright when his mouth found her other breast, teeth closing over the hardened nub there and pulling. The pain/pleasure of it made her knees weak, and she would’ve fallen if Vision hadn’t caught and carried her. He walked her deeper into the forest, just out of sight of the path, and yanked the clingy material of her bra up until her breasts were bared to his hungry gaze. Wanda arched her back, presenting herself to him in mute offering. She wanted this, needed him always. With a soft hum, Vision pressed her back against a tree and bent his head to her again. Lips, tongue and teeth worked her sensitive nipples. He sucked and nipped the soft, rounded fullness of her breasts and she knew he was marking her. She reveled in his possession, his desire. She never felt more powerful than when Vision touched her. “We must be quick,” he said, standing straight, his eyes intense with need. Wanda turned to face the tree, grabbing it for balance as Vision roughly pulled her clingy leggings down her ass. He left them at mid-thigh, leaving her unable to fully part her legs, and she shivered as she felt the head of his cock brush against her dripping slit. Contrary to his words, he pushed the tip into her slowly, stopping when he was just inside her entrance. She panted and whined with the need to be filled. “Shh. We are close to the path. There are people around. Do you want them to hear?” he asked. Wanda bit her lip, and shook her head. “I think you are lying. I think you want to be caught. I think you would like someone to find us, to see you bent over while you take me.” She couldn’t answer, her eyes squeezed tightly shut as she imagined it, her pussy growing juicier around him. Without warning, Vision dug his fingers into her hips and yanked them backwards as he thrust roughly into her. She cried out, unable to control it. His cock filled her completely, driving all thought from her mind except the way he felt inside of her, so exactly right. He pumped his cock into her with abandon, moaning her name, and each sound he made went straight to her clit as if he was stroking it with his slender fingers. To make such a man as Vision lose himself, to have him want her so badly, the power of it.... They were perfect, so perfect together. “Fuck me, Vision. Oh god.” she begged breathlessly, and he moved impossibly harder against her, into her. Wanda came, bucking uncontrollably and mindlessly, steadied only by Vision’s tight grip. Her cunt clenched around him, and she was vaguely aware of Vision calling her name in a strangled groan as he came as well, hips jerking violently before slowly coming to a stop. He stayed buried inside her afterwards, and she enjoyed the feel of having him so close, a solid, warm presence at her back. “We will be missed,” he said finally, his voice tinged with unhappiness. She felt it too. She wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of the day in his arms. Vision’s head snapped up, his eyes focused on a point somewhere in the distance. “They are coming.” His superior hearing had its benefits. He pulled out of her and helped her straighten her clothes while they made their way quickly back to the path. It wasn’t long before Steve appeared. “Hey. What happened? We expected both of you at the finish already.” Wanda bit her tongue against answering exactly how well they’d finished together. “Wanda took a bit of a spill and needed assistance,” Vision lied easily. Wanda held up her hands, still dirty from the tree bark, as evidence. Steve seemed satisfied with their answer, and looked at her in concern. “Are you hurt? Do you need to go to medical?” “My ankle is a bit sore. Nothing some ice and elevation won’t fix,” she said, seizing the opportunity. “Vision could take me back.” She mentally crossed her fingers and could barely restrain her smile when Steve nodded. “Take good care of her,” he told Vision, who nodded, his face utterly serious and betraying nothing. “I will, Captain Rogers.” “I’ll get you to call me Steve one day,” Steve said, shaking his head and chuckling. He squeezed Wanda’s shoulder, then left the way he’d come to rejoin the others. Wanda grinned up at her lover, who was smiling at her indulgently. “Do you always get what you want?” he asked. “If I’m a very good girl,” she said, pressing herself against him and wrapping her arms around his neck. His smile became a smirk. “If you are a good girl remains to be seen," he said as he lifted her into his arms. Wanda nipped his bottom lip before kissing him deeply, sparking arousal in his eyes. “Take me back and I’ll show you how good I can be.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent”Chapter Thirty-ThreeBy darthelwig++++The movie’s credits began to roll, and Sam stood up from the armchair to stretch.“Man, that was good,” he said. “I might even have to watch this one again.”“You just have a crush on that woman from Game of Thrones. What is her name? Lena Headey,” Wanda teased. She sounded sleepy but amused, and was a warm weight against him as she sat with her head on Vision’s shoulder. Somehow, every time they watched a movie she ended up like this, cuddled up next to him. The others thought nothing of it. Wanda was a very tactile person with people she was close to, and Vision certainly counted as her closest friend. Only the two of them knew how far they’d moved past the point of mere friendship, and he loved having her right where she was, innocently pressed against him and making him think of things that were perhaps not so innocent.Sam’s chuckle brought his attention back to the conversation at hand.“What can I say? I like strong women, and she looks great naked.” He wiggled his eyebrows, making Wanda laugh. “Now, you two don’t stay up too late. Steve wants us up extra early tomorrow.”“Yes, dad,” Wanda’s reply was punctuated by a huge yawn.“Uh huh. If I was your dad, I’d take you over my knee, so no arguments.” Sam was smiling as he shook his finger at her. “Goodnight.”Vision watched Sam leave, and as soon as he was out of the room, Wanda was moving to straddle him, a smirk on her lips. Her eyes were heavy lidded, but her gaze hot, and desire raced through his body at lightning speed.“You’re the only one who gets to spank me,” she said, draping her arms loosely across his shoulders. The huskiness of her voice went straight to his cock, as it always did, and he felt himself hardening against her. She knew it too, the minx, because her smirk widened and she ground down on him, making them both gasp.Vision dragged his hands over her thighs and hips, up her sides and down her back until they finally settled on her ass. He squeezed and caressed her through her skirt, watching the tiny reactions on her face that let him know how much she liked it.“This is mine,” he said, his voice low and firm. He ran his hands back over her bare thighs, fingers dipping under her skirt. “These long legs of yours, they are mine as well.” He watched Wanda bite her lip, and she nodded though he hadn’t been asking. He reached further then, under her skirt to the tiny slip of fabric that covered her mound, seeking her clit. He smiled when he found it, swollen and sensitive already, and Wanda’s breath grew ragged as he stroked her there. “And this. Is this mine?”“Yes,” she moaned, pressing herself into his touch. Vision pulled his hand away only to draw her into a kiss, fingers tangled in the long, silky strands of her hair. He allowed himself to savor her, her taste and the softness of her lips, the feel of her tongue against his own. So sexy, so beautiful.He trailed kisses down her neck, wishing he could mark her there, knowing she wanted that too. She shuddered when he touched his teeth to the delicate skin of her throat, her hands going to the back of his head to hold him as she tipped her head further back in invitation. Vision smiled and flicked his tongue out to taste her instead.“Tease,” Wanda pouted.“I will not expose us. Not yet,” he told her. “I am the only man here. How would you explain it?” He said it as much for himself as for her. His control only extended so far, and this woman was the one thing in this world that could threaten it.Wanda sighed but nodded.“Sit back, Vis. I’m done playing. And pants off.” Her voice and gaze were intense now. Serious. He did as she asked, phasing his pants away as he settled back against the couch and rested his hands on her hips. His erection strained upwards as if seeking her heat.Wanda rose above him, eyes locked on his face. She reached under her skirt with one hand to pull her panties to the side and used the other to guide him as she sank slowly down onto his cock.If there was a heaven, this was surely it.Her body took him in like she was made for him, or he for her. She was hot and wet, and still as tight as the first time they’d made love.Then she began to move, short, slow rolls of her hips that kept him deep inside. Vision stared into his lover’s eyes and let his hands explore her more leisurely, caressing her back and sides through her dress and enjoying the feel of her body moving under his palms.He watched sweat bead on Wanda’s brow as heat built between them. He would’ve been sweating too if he was capable of it. Her every shift was ecstasy, almost too intense but somehow also just enough. Her lips, plump and swollen from his kisses, were parted and her breathing was faster now. She was moving faster, fucking herself harder against him, and Vision had to steel himself from coming too soon. He wanted her release, wanted to see it.Wanda’s eyes squeezed shut as her orgasm approached, and Vision could feel his own control slipping. He tightened his grip on her hips, pulled her down as he began fucking up into her with desperate thrusts, unable to stop himself. He gritted his teeth in a last effort to hold back until she came, and when she finally bucked against him wildly, her pussy clenching and milking his cock, he let go and was lost in ecstasy.“Vision.” His name a sigh on her lips as she moved languidly against him, drawing out the last echoes of their mutual pleasure. “I love you. I love you,” she whispered into his chest. She clung to him now, needy and vulnerable, and Vision wrapped his arms around her. He caught her lips in a breathy kiss.“I love you as well, Wanda, for more than just this. Do you understand?” Their eyes met and held, and she smiled at him in a way that never failed to warm his heart. “You should rest,” he said, brushing her hair back. He felt her shiver at his touch.“I want to stay up with you all night, but yeah. I should sleep.” She kissed him softly. “Stay with me?”“Of course. Always. I will watch over you.” He would. Forever.“That’s all I need.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent” Chapter Thirty-Four By darthelwig ++++ He says her name like a prayer as he looks up at her from where he kneels next to the bed, between her parted legs. “Wanda.” She shivers hearing it, goosebumps dotting her flesh. He forever has this effect on her, can make her aroused, make her crazy, make her come with just a word. She is wet with desire. “Wanda,” he whispers against her skin as he rests his face against her thigh. She feels his lips move, watches as he brushes them over her in the softest of caresses. He worships her nightly now, but his touch never fails to excite her. It isn’t always this way. Most often he is firm, demanding, unyielding, and she craves it. But tonight is a time for tenderness, her heart a giant wound in her chest, and he knew without asking what she needed. She thinks he knows her better than she knows herself. “Wanda,” he says again as he pulls her forward and dips his head to her core. His breath is a tease, but only for a moment. He slides his tongue into her folds and she moans and spreads herself wider for him, wanton and needy. She clutches at his head but he is immovable. He takes her at his own pace, slow licks and swirls driving her mad. Her hips rock and thrust, but he controls her with strong, steady hands and a firm grip. She is in his power, as always, and he will give her what she needs. “Wanda,” he moans, and she gasps at the way it feels when his face is buried so deep within her. He devours her with teeth and tongue and lips. The room is filled with the obscene sounds of his lust, and she has never heard anything more erotic. He pulls back only to slide a finger inside her. It is not enough, but she cries out as he curls it up into that perfect spot, finding it unerringly as he always does. She whimpers, watches a slow smile spread across his face. Her back arches, head thrown back, when he adds a second finger, stretching her tight opening. She wants him to both draw this exquisite torture out and bring it to a climax all at once, and would beg if she could only decide one or the other. “Oh, Wanda.” She is writhing, breaths coming in stuttering gasps, aware only of the way he moves inside of her. What little breath she has is expelled in one great rush when he takes her clit between his lips and sucks, and she falls back onto the bed as she quakes with the magnitude of her orgasm. She rides one crest to another as he swirls his tongue around the slick, swollen nub, his fingers pumping and massaging her aching, wet core as well. He fucks her through a second peak before he is satisfied, his mouth moving to press damp kisses to her thighs. Wanda pushes herself up and pulls him in for a kiss, savoring her taste on his lips. He looks up at her like she is a goddess, like he could spend eternity worshiping her, and she melts under his gaze. “Wanda,” he says quietly, her name like a prayer. She has never said this to him before, but she knows it to be true, so she tells him. “I love you, Vis.” Her voice is breathless, her hand cupping his cheek as she meets his stunned expression with a smile. His fingers trace her face and he looks at her as if seeing her for the very first time. “Love?” he asks. “Yes,” she says simply. “I love you.” His kiss is answer enough for now. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent” Chapter Thirty-Five By darthelwig ++++ “Are you jealous, Wanda?” Vision asked, lips quirked in a smile. He moved her gracefully over the dance floor even as her temper raged. She was keeping admirable control, her face betraying nothing except for the tightness of her jaw and raw anger in her eyes. “Yes,” she hissed through gritted teeth. “You know I am.” “It is nice to hear it, though,” he told her calmly. “You have nothing to worry about. There is only you, Wanda.” “I know that,” she admitted, “but she was rubbing herself on you while you danced, Vision. It was...” she struggled for the words for a moment, “inappropriate.” He couldn’t help but chuckle at his jealous little minx who looked like she was ready to find that woman and shred her to tiny pieces. She glared at him, but he couldn’t help his amusement. “You are so beautiful in your anger,” he said softly, “and so fierce. Over a being who isn’t even truly a man.” Wanda’s eyes widened, then narrowed dangerously. “Not a man?” she asked, lowering her voice and leaning closer. “Would someone who wasn’t a man bring me as much pleasure as you do? Would a robot fuck me as passionately? Do you think you are some sort of glorified vibrator, Vision? Do you think I would suck you off if you weren’t real?” Vision’s fingers threaded through hers where he held her hand, and his smile faded away. “I apologize, Wanda. I meant no insult,” he said. “Do not belittle yourself,” she told him firmly. She glanced around to see if anyone was watching, them tugged his hand to lead him off the dance floor. She didn’t stop until they were well away from the festivities, in a tiny room that served a purpose he couldn’t even begin to guess at. “Fuck me,” she said, reaching for him, pulling him to her lips. He came easily, resistance to her simply not in his nature. “Here? Now?” he asked, though he knew the answer. “Yes. I want you inside me. Feel me. I’m so wet,” she said, taking his hand and guiding it between her legs, yanking her dress up to do so. Her long legs were bare before him except for nearly sheer stockings, his fingers in her silky panties, stroking her dripping slit, and he was lost. Vision kissed her like he was starved for her, and maybe he was. It suddenly felt like ages since he’d had her. He pumped his fingers into her rough and fast, enough to make her clutch him for support as she bounced wildly on his hand. Her forehead fell against his shoulder, and the little high-pitched whimpers at the end of every breath she took made his cock strain and throb. She wanted to be fucked. Vision would always give her what she wanted. He ripped the tiny slip of a panty right off her and smiled as she gasped, then hitched her legs up around his waist. Wanda’s slender fingers slid between them to position him at her entrance and he slowly lowered her onto his cock. He had to pause for a moment to take it in. Wanda always felt like sin, too good to be true, but this was so much more. She burned against him, around him. He felt her in his very bones. “Fuck me, Vision. God, please, just do it,” she said breathlessly, her breath hot on his skin as she pleaded with him. He didn’t answer, just thrust hard into her, the force shoving her back against the door. He pinned her there, her legs tight around him, and began to fuck her in earnest, each punishing thrust powerful enough to shake the door in its frame. Wanda clung to him. Her lips and teeth found the tender areas of his flesh, nibbled and soothed as he pounded her. “Mine,” she whispered against his throat. “Always,” he moaned, barely able to get the word out. “Wanda...” “Come for me, Vision. Give it to me.” She kissed him, forced him to accept her tongue though he could hardly focus. Vision let himself go, immersed himself in the feel of her, her tight heat gripping his cock, inner muscles squeezing his shaft in the most maddening way. He thought of nothing but how good it felt, powering into her repeatedly. He didn’t hear her harsh breathing or the thump of the door that would’ve signaled to anyone walking by what was going on behind it. His world had narrowed down to his cock and her sweet, wet cunt. His grip on her thighs grew tighter as he gave a few more desperate thrusts into her and found his release. He rested his forehead on her shoulder until he felt capable of speech again. “Wanda,” he breathed, then kissed her softly. She arched into him, her body still hot and throbbing, and he pulled back. “You haven’t come.” “No,” she admitted. “Allow me,” he said. Vision put her back on her feet and slid down to his knees, looking up at her with the most worshipful gaze. He pushed her dress up and pressed a kiss to her bare mound before plunging his tongue into her pussy. Wanda fell back against the door, and Vision braced her, held her in place. It didn’t take much to make her come. Wanda was already on edge. He flicked his tongue over her clit a few times before taking the tiny nub between his lips and swirling his tongue over it, and her climax hit her hard. She jerked and quaked in his hands, voice breaking when she cried out. Vision licked and sucked her folds until the last tremors were finished and her breathing began to even out again. He sat back on his heels and grinned up at her, and Wanda bent down to kiss him. “Those were not the actions of a robot, Vision. Those were the actions of a man.” She spoke quietly, so close her breath brushed over his lips, and he shivered. “Your man,” Vision said, and she smirked. “Don’t you forget it.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent” Chapter Thirty-Six By darthelwig ++++ She lay on the bed nude and covered in a fine sheen of sweat as she worked the vibrator between her legs. Knees raised, feet braced on the mattress, she rolled her hips to brush her clit against her hand as she fucked herself. She wanted to come. She never wanted it to end. A whimper escaped her as Vision entered the room. He stood over her, hooded gaze burning with lust. “Wanda,” he said softly, with wonder. “Just look at you.” He reached down to pluck at one pebbled nipple, and a bolt of pleasure shot straight to her cunt from the sensitive peak. “You are so beautiful.” The hand between her legs began to slow, to pull the vibrating shaft from her pussy, but he put a hand gently on top of hers to stop her. “Keep going,” he said. “I want to watch.” Wanda nodded shakily and thrust the toy back inside her aching cunt. She didn’t hold back, but fucked herself harder and deeper than she had previously. She watched Vision as she did so, watched as he moved his hand to splay his fingers over her stomach, felt the welcome heat of his skin on hers. It only increased her need, her desire. She pulled the vibrator out enough to press it against her clit almost painfully, as sensitive as she was at this point. It was heaven and hell and ecstasy. She pressed her head back into the pillow, eyes squeezed tight as she came with a stuttering moan. Vision stroked the soft skin of her thighs as awareness returned to her, and she shuddered when he moved between her legs and pressed a kiss just above her slit as he pulled the vibrator from her. The sensation made her shiver, and the very sight of him so close to the center of her pleasure made her body tighten in anticipation. “Please,” she said, her voice hoarse and low. “So beautiful,” Vision said before he leaned down to dip his tongue into her dripping folds. The breath exploded from her in a rush, and she squirmed uncontrollably until Vision pushed her legs up and held her there, spread wide open before him. He buried his face in her, without grace or subtlety, devouring her with abandon. Wanda clutched his head and nearly screamed in pleasure as he sucked her clit before dragging his teeth over it and moving on to swipe up her juices with his tongue. He was everywhere, fierce and demanding, dragging her to the peak of pleasure once again. Wanda cried out his name as she came hard and fast. She felt entirely wrung out after, limp and sated. Vision took his time in cleaning her soaked pussy with his tongue before letting her go, and she smiled as she saw the mess she’d made of his face. He kissed her like that, and she took her time to fully enjoy the taste of her own arousal. “So are you finally ready for movie night? Everyone is waiting,” Vision said, pulling back. “I don’t wanna go,” she said, stretching languidly. “You said you would come,” he reminded her. “I already did.” She grinned at him, and Vision laughed. “Be that as it may, your presence is requested.” Wanda pouted, but pushed herself up and out of bed. Vision grabbed her from behind as she searched for something to wear and she could feel the hard length of his cock against her. “After the movie, you’re mine,” he whispered in her ear. “I’m always yours,” she said truthfully, and smiled as he wrapped her in his arms. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent” Chapter Thirty-Seven By darthelwig ++++ She backed Vision against the wall and nipped at his neck, smiling as he moaned. A flick of her tongue over his skin, tasting and teasing him, and she smirked as he shuddered against her. His hands tightened at her waist, fingers digging uncomfortably into her soft flesh, and she reveled in it. His excitement increased her own wanton desire. Suddenly she knew what she wanted. With soft kisses to his jawline, Wanda made her way back to his mouth. His lips were smooth against hers, warm and enticing. She could kiss him forever, he felt so fucking good. But now was not the time. Now was the time to satisfy their mutual lust. “You’re so sexy,” she said as her hands slid lower to cup the erection tenting his pants. She grinned at the way his mouth dropped open when she gave him a playful squeeze. “Clothes off, Vis.” He didn’t hesitate, but phased his clothes away. They’d done this before, this and more, and she could feel his excitement in every throb of his cock, now bare and hot in her palm. She gave him a couple of firm tugs, making his hips thrust towards her reflexively, then released him to bring her hands to his chest so she could begin tracing the edges of vibranium lacing his body. She followed the smooth lines over his shoulders and arms, down his chest and over his stomach. He was breathing hard by the time she was satisfied, his eyes blazing with heat as he stared at her. “You make me want to do all manner of naughty things,” she told him as she pressed her lips to his, sharing his breath, breathing him in. “What sort of naughty things?” he asked softly, shyly, making Wanda smile. “Well,” she said slowly, her fingers tracing circles over his chest, “for starters, I would like to follow all these vibranium lines with my tongue.” That got a reaction. He swallowed hard and his fingers flexed where they grasped her hips. “I’d like to watch you go down on me. You’re so good with that mouth.” That was something they’d done a couple of times, and just remembering it made her wet. She wasn’t kidding about how good he was. Vision was a magician with his tongue. He smiled a bit, and she was pleased at the pride she saw in his eyes. “I want to get on my hands and knees, let you slide that big cock inside me and fuck me until I scream,” she said. His eyes went wide at that, but he looked interested, and that was encouraging. She wondered if she could make that happen soon. But not now. Now she had another desire. “Right now...,” she said, slowly sinking to her knees, “I want to taste you.” Vision was gaping now as she grasped his cock and gave it a few slow, languid strokes. This was not something they’d done yet, though she’d been wanting to for a while. “What are you doing?” he asked in a strangled voice. Wanda didn’t bother to answer with words. Instead she licked the underside of his cock from root to tip, her eyes never leaving his face. She swirled her tongue around the head and placed a soft kiss on the tip, studying his reactions as she did so. He was watching her with a quiet intensity that sent a flash of heat through her body. She licked and toyed with his shaft until his hands tangled in her hair and she knew it was time. With great deliberation she took him into her mouth and sucked. Vision’s knees buckled, so she quickly released him, but he caught himself and stared at her in wide-eyed wonder. “Don’t stop,” he said. She’d never heard his voice so rough before, and it went straight to that hot, wet hunger between her legs. Wordlessly, she took him back into her mouth and swirled her tongue against his soft skin. Vision’s fingers were in her hair again now, gripping tightly, and she couldn’t help but moan, which forced a ragged gasp from her lover. She worked her way down his length, challenging herself to take more and more of him, wanting to take all of him down her throat. Concentrating, breathing through her nose, she gave him everything. He was holding her hair painfully tightly, strained sounds coming from his throat as he tried to maintain control. Fuck that. She pulled back but stroked his cock while she spoke. “Fuck me,” she told him before taking him in her mouth again to suck him hard before releasing him with a wet pop. “Fuck my mouth.” She repeated the process, and she could feel him trembling. “Come on, Vision. Take it.” His face was tight with desire, with lust. She almost had him. “Take me,” she said before swallowing him down again, and with a hoarse cry of her name he jerked his hips and thrust further into her throat. Each thrust grew rougher, more forceful, until he truly was fucking her face, and Wanda reveled in his loss of control. He was hers now, this Vision that was usually buried deep inside under layers of civility and manners and inhuman calm. He was inexperienced, rough and unschooled, and didn’t last long. He buried himself fully into her when he came, stiff and unyielding, until he finally relaxed his grip and she could pull off of him again. She panted as she sat back on her heels and wiped her face clean on her shirt. Her scalp still ached where he’d been pulling her hair, her lips felt swollen and sensitive, her throat sore, and she smiled. Vision’s eyes widened in horror when he saw what he’d done to her, and he knelt down to touch her face, gentle and sweet. “I’m so sorry, Wanda.” “I’m not,” she said. “And I don’t want you to be. You gave me exactly what I wanted, Vis.” She cupped his jaw and kissed him. “But I hurt you!” “Only in the best way.” She smirked and took his hand. “Let me show you.” She guided his hand between her legs and under her skirt so he could feel the wet heat barely contained by her panties. He stroked his fingers over the soft fabric and her eyes drifted shut in ecstasy. “I see,” he said softly. Vision slipped his fingers under the hem of her panties and into her slick pussy, and Wanda gasped. She wrapped her arms around his neck and looked him right in the eyes. “I want to do all the things I told you about,” she said. Vision kissed her, bold and deep, making her entire body tingle. “We can make that happen,” he said, and Wanda smiled. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent” Chapter Thirty-Eight By darthelwig ++++ Vision lay naked in the bed, awaiting her pleasure. Wanda let her gaze roam over him slowly, and he watched her, quiet and patient, content to wait. She undressed under his lustful gaze, leaving herself in only her lacy bra and panties, deep purple this time, the color of royalty. His queen. His goddess. But tonight she would worship him. He watched her settle herself atop him, felt the heat of her core against his skin. She ran her hands over his chest, tracing the vibranium that laced through him. It was a wonder that she wasn’t using her powers, because he felt every touch like it was electric, and he had to gasp when she leaned down and placed a kiss over his heart. Her mouth was warm and soft, and her hair fell over her shoulder in a silken curtain, the gentle tickle of it against him only enhancing the sensations. He felt a definite sense of loss when she sat back up, but her hands moved down his abdomen to trail paths across his stomach, distracting him. His erection pressed against her. He wanted more contact, wanted to be buried inside of her, but tonight his pleasure was hers to control. Wanda’s hands moved upwards again, this time over his shoulders and down his arms. She took his hands in her slender fingers and brought them to her lips, then kissed his knuckles before taking one finger into her mouth and swirling her tongue around it. A jolt of arousal hit him hard, knocking the breath from him as he watched her. She sucked his finger, bobbed her head on it as if she were sucking his cock, her tongue never ceasing it’s dance. Wanda pulled her mouth off of him and threaded her fingers through his, their palms pressed tightly together. She used that grip to brace herself as she rolled her hips against him, her panty the only barrier between his erection and her sweet center. “You are so beautiful, my Vision,” she said softly. He looked up at her in blissful adoration, caressing her curves with his gaze. He could feel her wetness, her heat. He wanted so badly. “Tell me. What do you want?” “You,” he breathed. She hummed her approval and smiled. He gasped as she began moving down his body, pressing sloppy wet kisses to his skin. His chest, his stomach, she sucked and licked and tormented him until finally he felt her breath on his cock. Wanda wrapped her hand around it and stroked him lightly as she looked into his eyes again. “I won’t tease,” she said, and Vision groaned as she lowered her mouth onto him and took his hard length deep down her throat in one swift movement. She sucked him hard and slow until he was gasping, clutching at her silky hair. He watched his shaft disappear between her soft lips, watched as her eyes closed and she hummed around him, bringing the sweetest, most acute pleasure. She dragged her tongue over his length, trailed her plush lips over the straining, pulsing head, her eyes meeting his as she swallowed him again. Vision’s hands clenched in the sheets as she drove him out of his mind. He let out a cry of protest when she suddenly sat up and let go of his cock, but she was only shifting, moving to straddle him, and he gripped her hips as he felt her press her core against his length once again. She slid over him once, twice, before reaching down to nudge the tiny slip of her panty aside and angle his aching, throbbing erection just right. Vision’s head sank back into the pillows at the feel of her slick heat wrapping around him, her tight hole slowly taking his shaft to the hilt. Wanda’s breathing was unsteady now, but she rolled her hips against him, drawing another long moan from his lips. She quickly found a rhythm of short, unsteady movements, and it was maddening, perfect but not enough. Not nearly enough. “More. Please, Wanda,” he begged, and she obliged him immediately. She leaned forward to brace herself on him and began to move in earnest, her voice joining his as she rode him hard into the mattress. Vision wrapped his arms around her as his pleasure crested into a blinding orgasm. Her voice, so close, let him know she was coming too, as if the impossibly tight clenching of her pussy around his cock wasn’t sign enough. It was ecstasy, bliss, and he began to thrust into her, trying to extend his stay in paradise just a little bit longer. It passed too soon, and Vision found himself caressing her sides and back as she lay stop him, catching her breath. He tipped her chin up to look into her shining eyes and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. “Thank you, Wanda.” “Happy Anniversary, Vis.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent” Chapter Thirty-Nine By darthelwig ++++ Wanda knows his touch as well as her own, though nothing she does to pleasure herself could ever compare to what he makes her feel. She has squeezed her own breasts before, run her fingers over sensitive nipples. She’s stroked her clit and filled herself with fingers and vibrators. It has all been good, satisfying. But none of it comes close to what he does to her. Like now, his fingers feel so good stretching her tight channel, pumping in and out of her cunt like he owns her. And he does. She’s given it all to him, to take what he wants when he wants it, because it pleasures her for him to do so. And just like this moment, it is always worth it. He fills her so perfectly even with just his fingers. She has never felt anything more right. He slides his thumb over her clit as he takes one hardened nipple between his teeth and gently pulls. The pleasure/pain jolts through her, making her even wetter around his hand. His tongue follows, swirling over the tiny bud, and she can’t help the whimpers that escape her throat. She’s had other lovers before, but no one whose touch could compare to Vision’s. None of them were ever so caring and attentive, none of them as tireless in pursuit of her pleasure. None of them mattered like he does. None of them mattered at all, just brief encounters and meaningless sex. Her heart was always her own. Not so anymore. Vision holds her heart in his hands. His slim, graceful hands... She gasps, thoughts scattering as he curves those perfect fingers inside of her just right and her hips jerk upwards. The pleasure is all-consuming, hits her fast and hard, and Vision kisses her to muffle her orgasmic cries. He continues to rub light circles over her clit with his thumb as she comes down from her high, and his eyes are intense when she meets his gaze. She is trembling, flushed, breathing hard, but he doesn’t let her relax into the bliss of afterglow. He tugs at her clit to make her cry out and squirm against him as he speaks to her, his voice soft in her ear, his breath a sweet caress on her skin. He tells her what he wishes to do to her, whispers to her his fantasies, and her body tightens in anticipation. He speaks words of love, confesses his dedication all over again, and she cannot resist. She captures his lips in a kiss. He responds with equal passion, equal need. She is his and he is hers, and they are perfectly matched. Wanda is tired of teasing, tired of foreplay, already tired of coming without him, so she slides a hand down his torso until she can wrap her fingers around his cock. He is hard and ready for her. Holding his length, she can feel the throbbing beat of a heart he supposedly doesn’t have, but she has always known better. Her Vision is the epitome of man. They call him worthy, she calls him perfect. She strokes him slowly, root to tip, rubs her palm over the velvety head in gentle circles. He lets out a little puff of air and shudders. Her smile is triumphant as she pulls him closer and guides his cock to her entrance. He fills her, stretches her already swollen and sensitive hole, and she nearly comes from that alone. His skin is hot as he settles on top of her, his smooth body familiar and enticing, and she trails her fingers over his chest and shoulders as he bends to kiss her neck. Then he begins to thrust, and she can only hold on tight as he takes her roughly. His entire being seems focused on fucking his cock into her as deep as it can go. With every flex of his body he drives himself deeper, forcing the breath from her lungs in breathy whines and moans. She is pinned, and her heart soars at his desperation to have her. Wanda spreads her legs as wide as she can, welcomes him deep, her pussy growing wetter and hotter the longer he fucks her. Her every nerve ending is singing out in pleasure, and she cries out his name as she comes. His face is still buried in her hair and she can feel his panting breaths on her neck, so she presses her lips to the side of his head and drags her nails down his back the way she knows he likes. She knows he’s close, so she clenches her pussy around his shaft, tells him how fucking good he feels, and is rewarded with a groan and one last firm jerk of his hips as he spends himself inside her. And afterwards, she presses kisses to his shoulder as she holds him close and feels his racing heartbeat match her own. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- "Spent" Chapter Forty by darthelwig ++++ The soft moan of his name filled the room as she whispered words of encouragement. Vision kept his head bent between her legs, his mouth on her sweet center. This was his favorite place to be, between her thighs, bringing her pleasure. Her slim fingers slid over his skull in a soft caress as his tongue traced her folds, explored her more thoroughly than any man had ever done before. This act, this was theirs, from the first time she’d melted on his tongue. “Just like that, Vision. So good. You’re so good,” she moaned. “Fuck.” Her dripping cunt rocked against his face with every roll of her hips, and he dipped his tongue into her as she’d instructed him to, teasing and lapping at her sensitive flesh. She came hard, heels digging into his back and her hoarse voice almost screaming his name. “Did I do that correctly, Wanda?” he asked, raising his head from between her trembling legs to look at her. She was so beautiful, flushed and sweaty and eyes still dark with desire. “Did you not hear what I said?” she laughed breathily. Vision ducked his head, embarrassed, but she sat up a bit and turned his head to face her. “You’re perfect, Vision. Already better than any other guy who’s done this for me.” “Truly?” “Well, it’s not like I’ve had a ton of experience, but yeah. Not all guys really want to do this, you know?” She was caressing his face, and Vision turned his head to press a kiss to her palm. “I want to. I enjoy this,” he told her. “I want you to enjoy it too.” “Believe me, I did.” He’d been hooked from that first taste, always eager for more. He swirled his tongue over her clit, smiled at the shaky breath she took as he did. Her legs spread wider, feet braced on the bed so she could push her hot cunt up into his hungry mouth. Vision looked up her sweat-slicked torso as he swiped his tongue over her slit and met her needy gaze. The sight of her made his stiff cock ache and he shifted his hips to press himself into the mattress for some relief. Sliding two fingers into her heat brought a gasp, and her head fell backwards as he began to fuck her on them. He watched her palm and squeeze her breasts, so wanton, and he couldn't help but moan. He turned his full attention back to devouring her as his fingers moved faster and faster until he was pounding her cunt, her whines and whimpers filling his ears. She was jerking her hips, reaching desperately for that moment of completion, and he gave it to her, flicking his tongue over her her swollen bud as he curled his fingers inside her. A few more brief thrusts and she was falling apart, her whole body heaving as she sobbed out her pleasure. Vision lapped up her juices, reveling in the taste of her. As she caught her breath, he crawled up her body, trailing kisses and sucking marks into her soft skin until he reached her mouth and slid his soaked fingers between her lips, giving her a taste. Wanda’s eyes were still dark with arousal, he could sense her body still thrumming with need, and that was fine. That was perfect. He needed her too. He slipped the head of his cock between her folds, lined himself up carefully, and she pulled him into a kiss as he sank into her, making them both moan. God, he wasn’t going to last. His thrusts were short and ragged, her tight heat almost too much for him to handle as it clenched around his shaft. The sweet bite of her nails clutching his ass and pulling him in drove him wild, and too soon, much too soon, he was overcome and losing himself inside of her. She pressed kisses against his temple as he came down from his high, his mind slowly clearing, and he realized she was still wet and wanting beneath him. “I’m sorry,” he breathed. “That was too fast. I’ll make it up to you.” “That was perfect,” she said, giving him the sweetest smile. “But I won’t say no to that.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent” Chapter Forty-One By Darthelwig ++++ Breaths mingling, skin slick with sweat, they moved together. Vision, sitting on her bed, tangled in her sheets, and Wanda straddling his lap, rocking on his cock. Their entire beings focused on each other. Wanda gasped with each roll of her hips, gasped at the way he filled and completed her. Arms wrapped loosely around his neck, she rode him. The warmth of his smooth skin and the contrasting feel of the vibranium made her want burn hotter, made her center liquify and melt for him. Her nipples tightened painfully with each brush against the metal on his chest, and she relished the sweet bite of it. His hands pressed flat against her as he steadied her movements, let her chase down their pleasure without care. And she did. She rocked against him steadily as she tipped their heads together, noses and lips brushing as they breathed the same air. She could hear the sounds of the party in the distance, the party they were supposed to be a part of. But instead they had locked themselves in her bedroom, where they would celebrate together. “Vision,” she breathed as she pulled his head closer, as she nuzzled into him until all she could smell was his skin. “Wanda,” he said, equally as breathless, equally as needy. She shivered at the sound. He was rolling his hips with hers, matching her every movement, her equal and her partner. Her everything. She jerked her hips more roughly, clutching him tightly against her chest and grinding her clit between them. Vision grabbed her hips and pulled her down hard against him, giving her friction, pressure. She cried his name when she came, writhing in his arms. And afterwards, as he looked at her with that familiar awe in his eyes, she lifted herself up only enough to let her swivel her hips before sliding back down his shaft. His low moan made her do it again and again, watching his face, fingers pressed to his lips. With heavy-lidded eyes and heat in his gaze, she was absolutely certain he was the most beautiful creature that had ever existed. Pleasure grew in her center again as she worked herself on his cock, clenching herself around him and making them both whimper. He was making new sounds now, short, huffing breaths that weren’t quite moans but weren’t quite not, fingers digging into her ass hard enough that she knew it would bruise. She was faintly aware of the noise of the party growing louder, the countdown beginning, building to a climax almost as fast as they were. They hung on the pinnacle for a moment that seemed like eternity, ecstasy poised to break over them, and when he came, his cock twitching and jerking inside of her and his entire body shuddering with the force of it, she exploded, shaking apart in his grasp. She sat there after as she caught her breath, hanging limply onto him, head resting on his shoulder as she listened to the revelry outside. “Happy new year, Vis,” she said softly. “Happy new year, Wanda,” he replied, bringing her hand up and pressing a soft kiss to her wrist. Wanda guided his face to hers and hummed her happiness as she kissed him. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent” Chapter Forty-Two By darthelwig ++++ Wanda had a penchant for wearing things that drew attention to her chest. Long necklaces that disappeared into her cleavage, low necklines, and soft fabrics that clung to her curves. She seemed to like highlighting and emphasizing her breasts. Vision had to admit that they were quite spectacular. He found her entire nude form to be absolutely stunning, actually, but he often found himself distracted when she walked by and he detected the soft movement of her breasts under her clothes. It brought up memories of being buried inside of her, watching her bounce on his cock, her lips parted in a silent gasp as she worked herself on his shaft. He would develop the sudden urge to wrap his lips around her pretty nipples until she was whining and panting with need. Unfortunately, he was not the only man who seemed to have such thoughts about her. He would sometimes catch men on base glancing at her when she wasn’t looking, as if that could hide their thoughts from a telepath. Fools. And when they were out, men sometimes looked for longer than he deemed appropriate for casual observation. The occasional admirer was brave enough to approach her, but she sent them on their way fairly quickly. Wanda never made an issue out of it, so neither did he, usually. Even if their attentions towards her set a fire burning in his gut. He remained her outwardly calm and placid companion, with no one the wiser about how he wanted to rip her away from their greedy eyes, or stake his claim by burying his cock in her right in front of them. It just wouldn’t do to mount your teammate and fuck her like a bitch in heat... even if she liked it and courted that behavior by putting her beautiful breasts on display when she knew the effect it would have on him. A man, even a synthetic one, could only take so much. His breaking point came after training on a hot summer day. They’d been fully suited up this time, and his eyes were continuously drawn to Wanda’s generous cleavage, pushed up and framed perfectly by the corset she wore. Her smirk when she caught him looking only served to inflame him further, and as they stood close together while Captain Rogers evaluated them, he couldn’t help but watch a drop of sweat slowly disappear between her breasts. It was a struggle to maintain his calm and detached demeanor in front of the others. He suspected he wasn’t fooling Natasha very well, though their other teammates didn’t seem to notice anything amiss. He didn’t follow Wanda back to her room, but instead phased through the walls and took a more circuitous route. He arrived there before she did, so he was naked and ready when she opened the door. He quickly pulled her in and slammed the door shut behind her, his eyes never leaving her for a moment. “Vis!” He grabbed her from behind, ripped her jacket off her slim shoulders and groped her breasts as he’d been yearning to do. “This uniform shows an unnecessary amount of cleavage,” he said as he nibbled his way along her neck. Wanda tipped her head to the side, a soft moan escaping her as he sucked on the sensitive skin there. His nimble fingers worked the zipper of the corset down while he ravished her, but not quickly enough for his taste so he tore it open with a growl, making her gasp. “Vision! Oh my god!” He threw the remnants of her corset to the ground and cupped her breasts with greedy hands, kneading the soft flesh and plucking at her hardened nipples until she was squirming against him. A firm push had her bent over the bed, and he pulled her pants roughly down over her ass to her knees as she knelt on the bed. Vision slammed his cock into her without delay or preparation and found her already wet. Her tight cunt convulsed around his length as he hammered her mercilessly, his grip on her hips the only thing keeping her from collapsing. Head down and ass up, she took him deep, evidence of her arousal dripping down her thighs. She grunted with every rough thrust as he rode her into the mattress, completely at his mercy. Her first orgasm seemed almost painful as she writhed and twisted in his grip, clutching at the sheets. It wasn’t enough. He wanted to see her. Vision flipped her onto her back, threw her legs over his shoulder, and speared her on his aching cock once more. Her eyes were heavy-lidded, arms above her head and allowing him anything, everything. He sucked one nipple into his mouth and bit down hard enough to make her back arch and her pussy clamp down on his invading shaft. He granted her other nipple the same treatment until they were both visibly sore. She was impossibly wet beneath him, loud moans and gasps accompanying the downright obscene sound of their joining as he plunged into her relentlessly. She trembled, more and more as she approached another peak, until he reached down to flick her clit and felt a second orgasm rip through her, more powerful than the last. Her entire body quaked with it, shook apart in his hands, only her hot cunt gripping him like a vise and keeping him close. She didn’t cry out, she stopped breathing, until the tremors finally passed and she could pull air into her lungs once more. He was close. So close. He watched her perfect breasts bounce with his every thrust, reached down and squeezed them in worshipful, greedy hands, plucked her nipples until she was crying out his name. But she was so good, such a good girl for him. She kept her hands above her head the entire time, even as pleasure consumed her she had maintained her pose, ever eager to please him, to give herself over to him. God, he loved it. He loved her. Just the sight of her, wrecked and weak but still so willing, was his undoing. He powered into her with a few more short jabs of his hips and then he was lost, his thoughts, his mind, going blank as a powerful orgasm washed over him, obliterating everything but the feel of her on his cock. He turned his head to press kisses into her legs as he returned to himself. She watched him quietly, a small smile dancing on her lips as he took the time to pull her pants the rest of the way off. “You like my corset?” she asked finally, teasingly. He gave her a sharp look. “Too many people like your corset,” he said. She sat up and wrapped her arms around his waist, dragging her tongue and teeth over his stomach. “But only you can see me out of it,” she promised. Vision tipped her chin up and leaned down to press a soft kiss to her lips. “You are beautiful either way, Wanda. With or without.” And he meant it with all his heart. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent” Chapter Forty-Three By Darthelwig ++++ She slides her lips over his cock and takes him in, enjoying the taste of him on her tongue, so different from any other man she’s been with. It makes her wet, just this taste, being able to know without even looking that this is Vision in her mouth, Vision she is pleasuring. She would know the flavor of his mouth, his skin, his cock, anywhere. But she can look, and she does, as she sucks along his length she watches his face, his beautiful eyes intensely focused on her lips. She drags her tongue along the underside of his erection as she bobs her head, swirls it around the head as she pulls nearly completely off his cock, forcing a strangled moan from him. His cultured voice, so smooth and sexy, whispers for her to keep going, keep sucking, encouraging her with filthy words and a hand tangled in her hair. He doesn’t push, but his hips can’t help but jerk as she takes him deep down her throat, letting herself gag on him, letting him feel her throat closing around him. He gasps as she does it again and again, until she can take him all the way in, breathing through her nose to keep him there as long as she can. When she pulls off him this time, it’s completely, so she can smile up at him as she jerks his now-slick cock in her delicate fist. His thighs are trembling, and she drags the nails of her free hand over the tense muscles there, watches as his tongue peeks out to moisten his lips. Her nipples are diamond-hard and she can smell her own arousal in the air now. From the flare of his nostrils, she knows Vision can smell her too, and it drives her arousal to new heights. She can feel how wet she is without even touching herself. She nips his inner thigh before swallowing him again in one rapid movement. His loud cry is all the encouragement she needs. She sucks him hard, fast, pumps him with her fist whenever his full length isn’t in her mouth, and she knows it won’t be long. His hips are jerking uncontrollably now. He’s not even trying to hold back, and that’s exactly how she wants him, wanton and wild. It makes the ache in her cunt almost unbearable. He does grasp her head and hold her to him as he comes, her lips wrapped around the base of his cock. The strangled cry of her name, the pull at her hair, it’s too much, and she comes hard without touching herself, comes hard on nothing at all. Her moan must feel good around his shaft, because he groans once more before letting her pull away. She gasps for air, face flushed and sweaty, pride filling her as she watches him try to recover. She sits back on her heels, brushes the hair out of her face, and he leans forward, kissing distance. “Your turn,” he says, both teasing and sincere, and she gives him an answering smile as she dips her fingers between her legs, into her dripping cunt. She brings the evidence of her orgasm to his lips and watches as he sucks it off her fingers, as he savors her essence. “Wanda,” he breathes, and she rushes forward now to capture his lips in a searing kiss. She can taste herself in his mouth, mingled with that flavor that is purely Vision, and it’s the most perfect, beautiful thing she’s ever tasted. He’s perfect, and he’s here, and he’s hers, and this is real, and she has never been happier. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- ++++ “Spent” Chapter Forty-Four By Darthelwig ++++ She shut her door with a sigh and sank onto her bed. The bustle of the compound and demands of training couldn’t distract her from his absence. She reached out and brushed her hand over the bed where he would normally be, eyes hot on her as she lay there. She could see him in her mind’s eye. His smooth, lean body, all warm skin and metal, his eyes so different from anyone else’s but filled with all the desire and love of his humanity. Her nipples tightened, sensitive through her thin bra, as she pictured him. Arousal buzzed under her skin, until she couldn’t stand it anymore. In seconds she had her phone to her ear, clutching it tightly while her other hand traveled a path up and down her stomach, gently teasing herself. “Wanda?” “Vision,” she breathed. “I need you.” She cupped her breast and squeezed. It wasn’t enough. It wasn’t his hands, his long fingers, but it would have to do. “I see,” he said, much too calmly for her liking. She felt like whining. Begging. His smooth voice in her ear, so cultured, controlled, sounding so close she could almost feel his breath against her skin. It sent a shiver through her that began heat pooling between her legs. “One moment,” Vision said. She heard movement on the other end of the line and then his voice was back, even closer than before, and she had to bite her lip to stop herself from moaning. “I’m here, Wanda,” he said simply. “Tell me.” She licked her lips and had to swallow hard before she could speak, and still her voice came out hoarsely. “I’ve been thinking of you. Missing you. I need you here, need you with me,” she said. “I will be soon. I promise. We won’t be needed here much longer, and I will come straight to you when I return.” “Will you?” she asked breathlessly as she brushed her fingers across her nipple. “Don’t I always?” “Yes,” she said. “Are you in your room now?” he asked, and she nodded as she hummed out an affirmative. “Tell me,” Vision said firmly, and Wanda closed her eyes. “I’m on my back, on our bed. I can’t stop touching myself. It feels too good. But it’s still not you. I want you.” She took a shaky breath and let it out slowly. “Take off your underwear, Wanda.” She wasted no time. She dropped the phone on the bed and wiggled out of her panties as fast as she could before snatching her phone back up. “I did it,” she said breathlessly. “Good girl. Now, knees apart, Wanda. I want your legs spread for me.” God, she could feel how wet she was even without touching herself. The air in the room did nothing to cool the burning hunger between her legs. Feet flat on the bed, knees bent and legs parted, she waited for Vision’s instructions with bated breath. Vision’s low hum of appreciation was music to her ears. “How many times have I seen you like this, Wanda? How many times have you lain there spread open and waiting for me?” he asked, and she felt the silk of his voice like a caress. “So many times, Vis. I’d do anything for you.” “I know, Wanda. As I would for you. If only I could be there now to touch you, to taste you.” “Yes,” she hissed, swirling her fingers in lazy circles around her clit but not touching. Not yet. “Need it. Need you, Vision.” She was trembling, already sensitized to his voice, his words. Her body responded to him so readily, every time. The arousal was like a drug in her veins, hot and sweet, leaving her feeling at once both light as a feather and heavy with want. “Are you touching yourself, Wanda?” Vision asked. As if he didn’t already know the answer to that question, as if the answer wasn’t readily available in her stuttering breaths. “Yes, Vis. Yes,” she answered anyway, wanting to please him. Another quiet hum of pleasure in her ear was her reward, sending her hips rocking upwards against her hand. “I’m touching myself as well.” She moaned at the thought of it, at the mental image of Vision’s slim fingers grasping and stroking his cock. “Such a poor substitute for your touch, Wanda.” His voice was breathy now, and she whimpered and ground her cunt against her palm. “Touch your breasts, Wanda.” God, she didn’t want to. She wanted more friction, more pressure. She wanted to come. “Vis-“ “Now, Wanda. I want you to pinch your nipples for me. I can’t be there to do it, so I want you to do it for me.” She let out a strangled moan but did as she was told, pulled her slick fingers away from the burning hunger between her legs and pinched her nipples one after the other, tugged them and pretended it was Vision’s hands on her. She wanted his mouth, hot and wet and sucking her so perfectly. “Feels so good, Vis.” “Tell me.” There was edge to his voice now, and her entire body responded to his tone. She shuddered as a frisson of excitement ran through her, almost overwhelming. She swallowed hard and tried to focus enough to speak. “Imagining you, Vis. Your mouth on me. Wanna feel you on top and inside me. Press me down and fuck me. I’m aching for it. So wet for you, Vis. So fucking ready.” His breaths were heavy now, she could hear him stroking himself hard and fast in the background and she arched up into her hand, fingers tightening on the firm point of her nipple and tweaking it hard. “Please, Vis,” she breathed. “Yes, Wanda,” he all but growled. “Do it. I want to hear you.” She nearly cried with relief as she finally slid her hand back down and rolled her clit beneath her fingers. Her climax was immediate and powerful. She cried Vision’s name as her body jerked and shook apart. His voice in her ear, crying out his own release, sent her head spinning. All she could feel was him, all she could taste was him. Her body remembered him, brought him closer, filled and fulfilled her. She rocked with aftershocks as her mind slowly cleared, and she curled up on her side as Vision whispered loving words in her ear. “Come home soon,” she whispered, her need transformed into the hollow ache of missing him. “I will.” His voice was soft, gentle. “Promise?” “I promise, Wanda.” “Good.” She smiled. “I’ll welcome you home properly.” “I will never want to leave again,” he chuckled. “That’s the idea.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent” Chapter Forty-Five By Darthelwig ++++ Vision sat back and pulled Wanda onto his lap, watching as her long legs parted so she could straddle him. Her naked form was never more pleasing than at times like now, when she put herself into his keeping. And he would take care of her, in all the ways he knew how. She settled atop him and cupped his face in her slim hands, pulled him into a slow, deep kiss, and he stroked his fingers through her hair as he reacquainted himself with her mouth. She was so soft, from her hair in his fingers to her tongue against his own, the fullness of her breasts pressed against his chest and the plush of her ass in his lap, that he had to remind himself sometimes that he could be rough with her. That she wanted him to be. That she craved it. His Wanda was stronger than anyone knew, and he would give her anything. She nipped his lip as she drew back, a mischievous look tempting him, and he took the bait, leaned in and traced his teeth down the long lines of her throat as she opened herself to him. He flicked his tongue over her skin as he followed the path he had made back up, pressed kisses to her jaw and reveled in her soft sigh. So sweet, in his hands and on his tongue. She held his head to her as he trailed lower, raised up to help him reach her breasts, and he wrapped his lips around one pointed little nipple and sucked hard. He felt her body tremble, her gasp going straight to his cock where it lay hard and throbbing against his stomach. He feasted on her, his hands clutching her hips hard as he allowed himself this pleasure. She shivered with every swirl of his tongue, moaned as he sucked his marks into her supple flesh, and clutched him desperately hard as he caught her nipple between his teeth and tugged. Every reaction made him want more. He didn’t deserve this paradise, but he was human enough to take it. He slipped his hand between her legs, slid two fingers into her hot, slippery core, felt her quake around him. She arched above him, grinding her cunt into his hand as she pressed her forehead to his, heedless of the mind stone. Her eyes were shut tight, but he watched her, watched as her mouth dropped open when he found her clit and rubbed slow circles over it, watched as her thighs trembled as she approached her orgasm. He pumped his fingers into her and watched her fall apart. She was always the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. She collapsed onto him as it passed, the strength sapped from her limbs, and he stroked her back with one hand as he slipped the other out from between them and sucked her juices from his fingers. She watched him silently as he savored her, his eyes never leaving her face. This was his favorite flavor in the entire world. Nothing could compare. She reached down to take his cock in hand, but he pulled her hand away. “Not yet,” he said softly, content for the moment to hold her. Wanda nodded, head resting against him, and placed her hand on his chest instead. He held her there, held her tight, and pressed a kiss to her shoulder. Everything else could wait. She was here, and that was all he needed. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent” Chapter Forty-Six By Darthelwig ++++ Wanda followed Vision into his room, closing and locking the door behind her, her watchful gaze never leaving him. He was angry, hurt, like she’d never seen him before. She couldn’t blame him. She was angry too. But it felt unnatural to see these emotions on Vision’s normally serene face. “I am not a man, Wanda.” “You are.” “I am not,” he said. “Even our teammates have trouble believing I could be more than a machine. Perhaps that’s all I am.” “Vision,” Wanda said firmly. “You are not a machine. I have seen your mind, your heart. You are human, as much as any of us are.” “You can’t know that.” “I can. I do.” “Just because you feel for me, Wanda, does not mean you are correct.” That enraged her. “Feel for you? I fucking love you, Vision. Don’t you ever make that less than it is. You think I would spend my time fucking some machine? Something like Ultron? You think I would let something like that touch me?” He looked stunned by the ferocity and anger behind her words as she spat them at him, but she was slowly winding down, her anger spent. “There’s only you, you idiot. Human and fallible and ridiculous, and the only man I can imagine being with.” She shrugged helplessly. She couldn’t read the expression on Vision’s face, but the intensity of his gaze had her tingling. “I apologize, Wanda. I hadn’t thought of it that way.” “I just want you to understand, Vis. I want you to believe. You deserve that.” “Do I? And what do you deserve, Wanda?” he asked, his voice low and filled with promise. He was moving closer, and she shivered in anticipation. He reached out and cupped her face, slipped his fingers into her hair and held tight as he tipped her face up and kissed her. “You deserve the world,” he said as he kissed his way down her neck, lingering when he reached her pulse point. He brought their lips together again and Wanda wanted to keep kissing him forever. “I do not have the world to give you,” Vision continued, “but I will give you everything that I can.” Wanda’s breathing became ragged as he sank to his knees and reached under her skirt to remove her panties. He slid them down her legs, making sure to touch her the entire way, and she was already shaky when she stepped out of them. “Hold your skirt up, please. I wish to see you.” Wanda lifted her skirt with trembling hands. She was so fucking wet already, her body always so ready for him. Cool air hit the heat between her legs as he guided her legs apart but did nothing to douse the fire that burned for him. She was putty in his hands, ready to accept whatever he would give her. Vision stroked her slit with his fingers, making her knees buckle, but she caught herself. He slid a finger between her folds, taking his time, teasing all the places he knew so well. She couldn’t stop the sounds that were coming from her mouth, didn’t even want to try. Let him hear how badly she wanted him and how deeply he affected her. As if there could be any doubt. She had to brace herself on his shoulders when he rolled soft circles over her clit, but he took her weight easily, steadying her with one hand while he worked her with the other. It was inevitable that she come as soon as he slid his fingers inside her slick hole, as worked up as she was, and she did. She came apart on his hand as he thrust into her, and he hummed appreciatively. He kept his fingers inside her as he moved his thumb over her clit, and she made a sound of protest that he quickly hushed. She used to think she couldn’t come again, not so quickly, not after an orgasm like that, but Vision had taught her differently. He knew her body even better than she did, as much time as he’d taken to explore it, and she could feel the pressure building again, liquid heat pooling in her core at his touch. It wasn’t long before she came hard and fast, grinding on his hand. She let her skirt drop when she stood up straight again, breathing hard, but Vision shook his head as he sucked her slick off his fingers. “Skirt up, Wanda.” She paused, eyes wide and hands trembling, but she obeyed, pulling her skirt up and letting him look at her. He guided her legs apart again and she started to protest though she didn’t resist. “I am not done with you yet,” he said with a hungry look on his face. And then his mouth was on her, his tongue delving into her sopping wet pussy, thoroughly devouring her, and her arousal skyrocketed so fast she went lightheaded. He licked and slurped at her, sucked at her clit until she was so weak in the knees he was the only thing holding her up. Her eyes were shut tight, and his name became a chant she was barely aware of, her voice distant in her own ears. “Fuck,” she cried out as she came so hard she collapsed on top of him completely. Vision held her gently as he rose to his feet, cradling her against his chest. As weak as she felt, she pulled his head down to her, kissed her taste off his lips. “You’re the only man for me, Vis. The only man. A machine couldn’t love me, and I know you do.” “I do love you, Wanda. More than I can say.” He was looking at her with such utter devotion in his eyes. She could never doubt him. “Take me to bed, Vis. You’ve worn me out.” “As you wish.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent” Chapter Forty-Seven By Darthelwig ++++ Fingers on her hip. Teeth scraping her shoulder. The movement of the bed underneath her. She slowly climbs towards consciousness, blinking sleep from her eyes. Fingers between her legs. A strong hand positioning her. Then a gasp torn from her as he enters her in one long, smooth thrust. Stillness for a second as he lets her adjust, and then he is fucking her. Deep, hard strokes pressing her into the bed, driving the breath from her lungs. She is fully awake now, pinned under him on her belly, face pressed into her pillow. He drives himself into her like he can’t get deep enough, can’t get enough of her, and she reaches back to clutch at his head where he is sucking marks into her shoulder. He slows for a moment, and she senses his uncertainty. “More,” she moans, and he renews his assault on her, her body welcoming his invasion with heat and wetness and a throbbing pleasure that builds until she is grinding her clit against the bed with every thrust. She tries to brace herself, to gain some sort of traction, but he grips her wrist and pins it to the bed. She has no choice but to accept what he gives her, however he gives it. The knowledge has her moaning. His pace quickens. He hammers into her so desperately her teeth click together. She will feel him between her legs all day. She never wants to stop. He lets his body be a hard weight on top of her, solid and unyielding. His breath tickles her ear. He releases her wrist only to slide his hand under her and pinch her clit, and then she is coming, wild, uncontrolled. She thrashes beneath him, her pussy clenching and pulsing on his cock, and he presses into her once, twice more as he falls apart with her. She recovers slowly, stretches and smiles as she feels him still inside her, where he belongs. “Good morning,” she says. Feels him smile against her back. “You asked me to wake you,” he says almost shyly. It warms her heart that he can be so soft after everything. “Thank you. You did good.” He starts to pull away, to remove his weight from her, but she grabs his hand. “Don’t go.” “Alright,” he says, and she can hear the happiness in his voice, feel it in the way he pulls her close as he settles on top of her. “But you do need to get up soon.” “That’s later. This is now.” She snuggles into him and closes her eyes. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent” Chapter Forty-Eight By Darthelwig ++++ Frantic, frenzied, they clutched at each other, lost in the other’s lips and heat and touch. She wrapped herself around his strong body, hard muscles easily supporting her slender frame. Moans and heaving breaths escaped them both as they slammed the door behind them in their haste. His clothes disappeared quickly, revealing dark skin and metal to the air, and her nails dug into his ass as she yanked him closer. He grunted, hand coming up to catch himself on the wall. She fumbled her skirt up and panty to the side, and his free hand slipped between her legs, fingers unerringly finding her slick channel and thrusting inside. He worked her roughly, opening her up, giving her that delicious stretch she needed, making her legs tremble and threaten to give out. No words needed to be spoken. They simply continued to devour each other’s kisses as he moved his fingers and replaced them with his hard cock. At that, her knees really did go weak and buckle, and he swiftly caught and pinned her against the wall, impaled on his shaft. She was aroused enough to be dripping, slick making his entry easy though they hadn’t been together in weeks and she was swollen and tight with desire. He buried his face in her neck as he started to thrust, working his hips in short, hard jerks to fuck himself deep into her, and she clutched tightly to his back as he held her legs spread wide for their pleasure. Her words now were only half spoken and garbled, lost in lust and mindless ecstasy. They were moving in rhythm, her hips working against his hard body. He didn’t need her words to guide him. They wanted the same thing. The sounds forced from her throat were all the encouragement he needed. Quickly, too quickly, they crested, crashing over that peak together. He sank his teeth into her shoulder, wild in his release, and the sensation went straight to her wet core where she was throbbing around him, making her clench in exquisite pain. They both groaned and spasmed with it, caught in the pleasure, caught in each other. He remained standing through sheer force of will, muscles locked in a stubborn battle with gravity, and she had to nudge him to let her down, he had her pinned so tight to the wall. She hissed as his cock slid out of her and he ducked down for a kiss. He pulled her collar back to see where he’d bitten her, remorse plain on his face, but she smiled and dismissed his concern. Still, he checked. No damage done. It was a matter of moments before they were presentable again, clothes in place once more, leaving only a bright flush to her skin to mark their lovemaking. She smoothed her hands down over her skirt and then through her hair, and he brushed the long strands back for her to make sure nothing looked out of place. And then they were out the door, pretending to be friends again. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent” Chapter Forty-Nine By Darthelwig ++++ Wanda threw her leg over the arm of the overstuffed chair and leaned back, spreading herself wide. The early morning sun shone through the living room windows, casting colors over her naked body. She sighed contentedly when Vision’s tongue slid into her folds, but her gaze was fixed outside the windows, taking in the orange and pink tints of the sky and the swaying trees. She lazily stroked Vision’s head as he sat on his knees before her, fully clothed, his head buried between her legs and mouth working hard to please her. “You like this, don’t you?” she asked, already knowing the answer. “Servicing me.” His response was a moan against her core, and it sent tingles through her whole body. She was wet and hot already, and she could feel her juices dripping down only to be caught on his tongue. Vision would not let a single bit of her escape him, not when he took such enjoyment from her body. “I enjoy it too, Vis,” she said, caressing his head. “You’re so good. Any girl would be lucky to have you, but you belong to me.” He nodded, his hands coming up to stroke her inner thighs. He was so gentle when he wanted to be, but she knew the power in him, the strength he could and would use to pleasure her if she gave the slightest hint of wanting it. Just the thought made her squirm. His tongue chased her, dipping deep to tease her opening before trailing upwards to flick her clit. She pulled his head, trying to press him down harder into her hungry cunt, but he resisted, keeping his touches light, not enough to make her come yet. It was frustrating and perfect at the same time. She was breathing harder now, each breath shaky, tremulous, and when he slid two fingers inside of her, all the breath exploded from her body. She arched back into the cushions and moaned, loving the fullness, needing the stretch. “More,” she gasped, and he dutifully applied another finger, and though she was expecting it, it still made her squeal. Her legs involuntarily opened wider, offering herself to him. She would be sore later, but what did that matter when her lover was fucking her on his fingers, his talented tongue still working her clit? Nothing mattered in that moment but the magic happening between her legs. It didn’t matter who could come in or who might see them or what other people might hear. The compound might be empty, but even if it wasn’t, she wouldn’t stop this for the world. “Vis... Vis!” she cried out as he crooked his fingers inside of her and flicked his tongue wildly over her clit. She bucked against him, driving his fingers deeper as she came hard, her hands clutching at his head. He rode it out like the absolutely perfect lover he was, and was already carefully cleaning her with his tongue when she managed to clear her mind enough to think again. She lay there bonelessly, enjoying the feel of his soothing tongue on her sensitive folds. “You’re so perfect, Vis,” she told him, a bit breathlessly. He sat back on his heels and she watched as he sucked her slick from his fingers, a slightly bashful but proud smile on his lips. “Come here and kiss me, and then I’ll take care of you,” she promised. It would be her pleasure. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent” Chapter Fifty By Darthelwig ++++ She sank down onto his cock and Vision’s eyes closed as he arched against the bed and sent a silent thank you to whatever god, or fate, or twist of fortune, or whatever it was that led them to this moment. Wanda was tight, and wet, and felt hotter than he would’ve believed possible even knowing the science and biology behind it all. She moved and his eyes popped open as he grasped at her thighs, her hips, slid his palms up her ribcage and felt it expand and contract with each breath she took. Her sleek muscles worked under his fingers as he stroked her everywhere he could reach, and she started a rhythm between them that had him seeing stars. “Oh, Vis,” she said breathily. The way her voice dragged over the words, the way she bit her lip after saying them... it made him mad with desire for her. Only for her. The way she looked at him, eyes heavy-lidded and dangerous, the way she smiled, so wicked and teasing... She was a marvel, and he was soft for her. Soft and so, so hard he ached with it. He was inside her. God. Inside her. And it felt even more amazing than he had imagined. Better than her hand or his own, even better than her mouth that he adored so much, with that tongue that could work miracles on his flesh. This was so much more. Every movement of her tight, clasping channel along his shaft threatened to undo him, and he realized belatedly that he was digging his fingers into her thighs probably too hard for comfort, but it only seemed to spur Wanda on. She looked so beautiful moving above him, sensuality defined. Every soft curve pushing them both towards a finish he was more than ready to reach. He wanted it like he’d never wanted anything else before. He rocked his hips up, urging them both onward, plunging deeper into her and surprising a sweet little gasp from her throat. He watched as she braced herself on his chest with one hand while she plucked her nipples with the other, pinching and pulling them to taut little peaks. His tongue slipped out to wet his lips and she must have noticed the direction of his thoughts because she slowed their pace and brought her breasts to his lips so he could take those perfect, rosy buds in his mouth. He licked and sucked them one after the other, back and forth, enjoying the sounds he was drawing from her. He forced his hands off her thighs so he could squeeze the soft globes of her breasts and tweak her rigid nipples, testing their sensitivity before devouring them again. This could be one of his favorite things in the whole world, feeling her inside and out. There was only one thing he could think of that might make this better. He kissed her and decided to throw caution to the wind. “Perhaps you could connect us?” Her brows shot up at his request, but she didn’t deny him outright so he waited as patiently as he could with his cock still buried inside of her. “I wanted you to experience this for yourself, without outside interference,” she said. “Your first time should be about you.” “I want this to be about us. And there is nothing I would enjoy more than to experience your pleasure, Wanda. To know that you’re enjoying this too.” He traced his thumb over her smile. “I am definitely enjoying this,” she purred, rolling her hips for emphasis and making him hiss. He refused to back down. “Still. I want this,” he told her. “I know we talked about it, Vis, but we’ve never been so deep.” “I trust you,” he said simply. She looked at him for a long moment before nodding and reaching for him. He felt her trace her fingers down the side of his face and then he could feel her there, feel how he spread her and filled her, was aware of himself and his place inside of her in a way he hadn’t been before. And when she moved again, ever so slowly, eyes distant as she experienced their shared sensations, it was the most exquisite torture. Every drag of skin on skin was enough to pull the breath from his synthetic lungs. The heat between them was scorching. He couldn’t distinguish what was her and what was him anymore. It didn’t matter. It was all them, together, a perfect unity. And when they came, they came together, wrapped in each other physically and mentally. They emptied into each other, they welcomed each other in. They breathed in sync, their frantic hearts keeping pace as they slowed. It was quite a bit longer before Wanda separated them, and Vision felt somewhat bereft as she left his mind even though she still lay atop him, her body pressed along his. He brought her hand to his lips, kissed her palm, her fingers, her wrist, let his lips linger over the soft skin. “Thank you. That was...” “Intense,” she said. “I was going to say beautiful.” She sat up to look at him and he was glad to see her smiling. “I think so too.” She kissed him sweetly. “But let’s hold off on that for special occasions, okay? It was a little... overwhelming.” He was instantly contrite. “I’m so sorry, Wanda. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” “You didn’t,” she said, shaking her head. “I enjoyed that very much. And this? This is definitely a special occasion.” She caressed his face, over the Mind Stone and down his cheek to his lips. “I just can’t do it all the time, that’s all.” “I would never ask that of you,” he promised. “I know. I trust you, Vis. You would never take advantage of me.” She settled down against his chest once more, and he held her to him tightly. “I will protect you from anyone that would try,” he said, with more heat than he had expected from himself. She made a soft noise of agreement and he could hear the sleepiness in the sound. “Rest, Wanda. Let me take care of you now.” She didn’t respond, but he felt her body slowly relax into slumber, and that was response enough for him. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent” Chapter Fifty-One By Darthelwig ++++ He dwarfs her. His frame, so tall, so broad compared to hers, swallows her when they’re close. She feels small, safe and protected by the superhuman strength he possesses. She doesn’t want to need that, doesn’t want to crave it, but there is a part of her that yearns to put her burdens aside if even for a moment, to let him carry them for her, and she is not a strong enough person to resist. She puts her safety, her life and happiness, in his hands and feels better for it. She embraces him, pulls him to her and presses him close. His skin is smooth and warm, even where he is more metal than man. He presses his mouth to her throat and she shivers at the glide of silken lips over her flesh. Her hands caress the hard planes of his back, urge him onward with fingertips and nails along his spine. She feels him softly laugh into her shoulder, and she smiles. “Nymph,” he calls her, smiling down at her fondly. His teeth are strikingly white against his dark skin, and she pulls him into a kiss. He always tastes faintly of metal, just slightly, just a hint of it, and she has discovered a fondness for the flavor. He is on top of her, but not crushing or smothering. Vision is always so careful of her, even when he fulfills her darker desires, but right now is all about pleasure. Hers, his, theirs together. She doesn’t need the bite of pain to sate the lust building within her, only his touch and the warmth of his affection. Wanda nips his lip and reaches down, takes his hard length in her hand and feels him shiver as she gives him a firm stroke. Her eyes stay locked with his as she positions him and he slowly pushes into her. She clutches at him, nails digging into his synthetic skin as he fills her, but she keeps her eyes open and focused on him as she gasps. He fills her completely and perfectly. Her perfect lover. He begins to move within her and she can feel the laser-like focus of his attention even as she begins to lose herself in the sensations. Her head tips back and she moans his name. No one understands, no one could ever understand, how much he means to her and how very human he is when he’s burying himself inside of her and driving them both to completion. He is rocking against her with every thrust, grinding her clit and sending her racing towards her inevitable climax. She reaches for it, greedy, rolling her hips to match his movements, and soon she is shaking apart beneath him, stars exploding in her eyes. He doesn’t stop but also doesn’t speed up, though she can feel the effort it takes him to hold back. His body is trembling, his lips a tight line. She knows he needs to come. Her body is still milking his shaft, residual tremors becoming full-fledged squeezes as her pleasure begins to build again. She can feel the tension in his body when she runs her hands over him, and she knows he is close. “Vision,” she gasps into his shoulder. “Wanda.” His voice is shaky, breathless. His movements are less smooth now, less controlled. He is so, so close. “Marry me,” she says, and he stops moving altogether. She chances a look, and his eyes are wide, shocked. “Wanda?” he asks almost in a whisper. She cups his face and kisses his parted lips. “Not now. Not this minute. Maybe not even anytime soon. But one day... marry me. You’re the only man I want to marry, Vis, the only one I would ever commit to. I love you.” She lets her devotion speak for itself, lets love shine in her eyes, lets herself be vulnerable before him. He is her Vision, and he is her only safe place. “Will you marry me, Vision?” she asks once more, and the smile he gives her is blinding. “Yes, Wanda. Of course I’ll marry you. I just didn’t think you would ever wish to do that,” he tells her. “I want to bind myself to you, and you to me. Officially.” She can see how touched he is. Vision never values himself enough, and she gently wipes the tears from his eyes and kisses him again. This time he responds, almost devouring her in his need. And when he begins to move inside her again, it is with sure, purposeful, and firm movements, movements she knows are designed to ignite her lust. He knows her body, knows her better than anyone else ever has, and she can feel the pleasure building rapidly. Her head is spinning with it. Vision is calling her name with every hard thrust. The blatant need in his voice drives her onward, and when he presses his thumb to her clit she explodes, her red wrapping around them both as she writhes beneath him. He isn’t far behind. He calls her name one last time, voice strangled and hoarse, and plunges as deeply into her as he can go, holding himself there as he comes. The red fades as the world comes back into focus. His face is close, it’s all she can see, he is all she can feel, her entire world narrowed down to this man. Her lover. He is inside of her where he belongs, and she never wants to let him leave. “I love you, Wanda. Forever. Nothing will ever change that.” “I know,” she says, smiling. “I never doubt you.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent” Chapter Fifty-Two By Darthelwig ++++ He nuzzled her neck, marveling at how responsive she was, how her skin broke out in goosebumps and she pressed her heated core into his lap. He ran his fingers lightly down her spine as he placed soft, feather-light kisses on her silky skin. She tilted her head to the side to offer him easier access, and his lips unerringly found that spot just under her ear that made her gasp. She was grinding on him now, the hot, wet heat of her pressed against the hard length of his cock, and his fingers tightened on her hips, encouraging her closer. He ran his teeth down the long lines of her neck, and she pulled his head firmly into her. He knew what she wanted, a little pain, a little mark. He teased her with his tongue instead, making her groan. They had discussed this. No marks in obvious places, and he wouldn’t change his mind in the heat of the moment, no matter how tempting it might be. His lover, refusing to be outdone, slipped her hand between their bodies to grip his cock, and he couldn’t help but shudder at the feel of her fingers wrapped around him. She stroked him as he pressed kisses to her jawline, then lifted herself up only to guide his erection to her hot, wet hole. “Oh, Vision,” she whispered breathily as she sank down onto him, taking him deep in one long, slow movement. It was his turn to groan as she rocked her hips, the feel of her sending shivers through his body. He hungered for her, and he buried his face in her neck, barely remembering to suck gently when his mouth met her skin. Wanda’s walls were fluttering against his cock, and he realized she was on the cusp, ready to come. The knowledge spurred him on, and he met her thrusts as best he could in that position, wanting deeper, needing all of her. Her orgasm was explosive, powerful, her entire body jerking and trembling against him. Her cunt squeezed down hard, and that was all it took to send him over the edge as well, and he grunted as he sank his teeth into her shoulder, his mind blanking as her inner muscles milked him. He came back to his senses as she pulled his head back and started placing kisses across his face and onto the mind stone. The scent of their sex filled his nose as he let himself enjoy her ministrations. “I believe I marked you,” he said quietly. She kissed his lips and smiled. “On my shoulder. Easy enough to conceal.” “I said I wouldn’t. You make me lose control.” He frowned. “Is that a bad thing?” she asked hesitantly. He thought it over. “No. I don’t believe so. It’s a very human thing to do, isn’t it?” “Very,” she told him, a bit smugly. “And only I can do that to you.” “Yes,” he said, smiling at her. “Only you.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent” Chapter Fifty-Three By Darthelwig ++++ Vision could swear his synthetic heart was beating hard in his chest as he waited for the Quinjet to land. He kept his stance casual, his face impassive, as impatience ate away at him. He had been gone for too long, and Sam seemed to be taking an inordinate amount of time landing the damn jet. Wanda was waiting for him. He needed to go to her. “We’ll debrief in the morning,” Steve said as he finally opened the jet’s doors and allowed them to exit. Vision remained outwardly calm as he nodded. “Of course, Captain. It’s late. You and Sam should rest,” he said. Steve clapped him on the shoulder as he walked past, and Vision took that as his sign to leave. He walked at a measured pace, every fiber of his being fighting his restraint, but it wouldn’t do to draw attention to himself at this point. With the singular goal of reaching Wanda’s room in mind, the minutes it took to get there stretched out before him. This was an exercise in patience. He didn’t knock but immediately phased into her room, to find Wanda asleep in her bed. Something in his chest loosened at seeing her again, at being in her presence, awake or not. He sat on the edge of her bed and traced a finger down her cheek until she began to stir. “Vision?” she mumbled, and he smiled down at her. “I’ve only just returned,” he said softly. Wanda sat up and wrapped her arms around him, and when their lips met he finally felt a deep sense of relief wash over him. This was where he belonged, where he was supposed to be, where he always wanted to be. By her side. “Mmm. I missed you,” she said sleepily against his lips. “And I you,” he replied as he pulled away enough to bury his face in her neck and take a deep breath of her. “Do you have it?” “Of course,” Wanda told him. She sat back and pulled the end of a long necklace out of her shirt, revealing a ring. She unclasped the necklace and let the ring fall into his palm. “Will you put it back on me?” “It would be my pleasure, darling.” He took her left hand and slid it into her ring finger, then pressed a kiss to it. “That’s better,” Wanda said. She lay back, pulling him down with her. “Phase your clothes off, Vis, and come to bed.” He did as she asked, slipping under the covers nude and pulling her snugly against him. He held her as she drifted back into sleep. The next morning found them still tangled up in each other, and he took the opportunity to wake his fiancé with gentle kisses. She smiled, eyes still closed but her body melting into him. She hummed her pleasure when his lips trailed downward, tracing along her collarbone to her shoulder. “Wake up,” he murmured against her. “No,” she whined, arms coming up around his neck. “Don’t wanna. I’m comfy here.” Vision disentangled her arms from around him and brought her hand to his mouth, pressing his lips to her fingers. She watched him with hooded eyes. “It is time to get up, darling,” he told her softly. “Only if you make it worth my while,” she said, and he shivered at the sudden heat in her gaze. He leaned down close enough to kiss her, a smile curling his lips, and watched her eyes flutter shut as he slid a hand down her stomach and into her panties. She gasped when he sank two fingers into her already slippery, hot little pussy, and he chose that moment to bring their lips together. He drank down her cries of pleasure as he pumped his fingers into her, making her writhe beneath him. Wanda threw her head back, clutching at him when he circled his thumb over her clit, and her body arched up as she came hard on his hand. He watched her, awed as always by her trust and abandon. He was the one she came to, the one she trusted to make her feel this way, who she could be so free with. And he was hers, utterly and completely. His cock throbbed between them, making his own need known, but he ignored it for the moment in favor of pressing soft kisses to his lover’s face and neck as she came down from her high. “Better?” he murmured between kisses. Wanda shook her head and kissed him deeply while she shifted so she could wrap her legs around him. He rocked his hips against her, pressing her into the bed as he ground against her core. The little sounds she was making threatened to drive him mad with desire, and he stopped only long enough to rip her panties off before he sank his entire length into her blazing-hot center. Wanda shuddered, and the low moan she let out threatened to undo him. “Better,” she said breathily. She gave him a wicked smile as she rolled her hips, her fingers trailing up his sides and tracing along the edges of the vibranium lining his body. Vision grabbed her wrists and she giggled as he pinned them above her head. Her laughter stopped with his first hard thrust, and he began to fuck her in a steady, unrelenting rhythm. Their gazes stayed locked as he plunged into her over and over, driving them both towards the edge. Their breaths mingled, their faces close, and even through her nightshirt he could feel the hard points of her nipples against his chest. He wanted to suck them, rip her shirt off, take them into his mouth and taste the creaminess of her skin, but he was fixated by her eyes, the glorious green of them filled with want. He pumped himself into her, needing more, needing deeper, needing all of her, and her legs spread wider to welcome him in. The wet sounds of their coupling filled the room, heavy breathing it’s only accompaniment until she began to whimper his name. He could feel her balanced on the edge, desperate to fall over into bliss. She writhed, her body tightening and tensing around him, legs coming up to wrap around his hips. He picked up the pace of his thrusts, hammering her roughly, and kept his grip firm when she struggled wildly against his hold. He bent his head down to whisper in her ear, his voice strained but steady. “I love you. I love you, Wanda.” That’s all it took to push her over the edge, and she cried out loudly as she jerked beneath him. He rode out her wild movements, still pounding her hard and fast, aching to reach his own peak, to lose himself in her. Her inner muscles felt like heaven on his shaft as they clenched and squeezed. “Vis,” she moaned, her throaty voice going straight to his cock, and he finally released her hands so he could brace himself on the bed as he drove himself into her for a few last, desperate thrusts as the pleasure became too much and he came hard. He was faintly aware of his own voice crying out her name - too loud too loud - but it was a distant concern. His entire being was focused on the place where they were joined, their bodies connected so perfectly. Her thumb brushing over his lips slowly brought him back to reality, and he realized he’d closed his eyes. He opened them to look into Wanda’s loving gaze. “You okay?” she asked quietly. He nodded and gave her a smile. “You amaze me,” he told her. The smile she graced him with was almost shy, and he took her hand in his and pressed a kiss to the ring on her finger. “It’s time,” he said regretfully. The light in her eyes dimmed a little, but she nodded. She inhaled sharply when he pulled out of her, but brushed away his concern. Vision helped her sit up, and watched as she searched the sheets for her necklace. He had to smile when she found it and let out a little sound of triumph. She sat still and let him remove the ring from her finger, watched him thread it back onto the necklace, and then turned so he could clasp it around her neck once again. He placed a soft kiss on the nape of her neck. “One day we won’t have to hide it,” he said, resting his chin on her shoulder. She nodded and sighed. “One day,” she agreed. She turned to look at him, and he was caught by the intensity of her gaze. “One day soon.” “One day soon,” he promised. He yearned for it. One day soon, darling. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent” Chapter Fifty-Four By Darthelwig ++++ He’s buried inside of her, the hot, wet, tight walls of her cunt like heaven wrapped around his aching cock. He’s buried inside of her and he wants to stay there forever, welcomed and embraced by her body as she takes her pleasure. He’s buried inside of her and he wants to come, wants to feel her fall apart in his arms as he does. She rides him, rocking her body, keeping him deep and secure inside her as she grinds on his length. She is beautiful like this, she’s beautiful always, but with breath and body trembling atop him, he is awed. This woman wants him, wants him to bring her pleasure and take her apart, trusts him to do it right. He doesn’t deserve her, will never deserve the honor of being her lover and keeper of her heart, but he will strive to be that man for as long as she’ll have him. She whispers words of love, of lust, telling him how good he is making her feel in this blissful moment that he wishes would never end. He would stay joined with her forever if he could. She whispers and he aches, and he gives her his own words in return. He tells her how beautiful she is, how sexy and desirable, and what it feels like to fuck her, how she makes him feel. He feels her pulse around him as she absorbs his words This is a position they’ve used a hundred times, and he has yet to tire of it. He doubts he ever will. Not when it allows him to see her face, watch her expressions as her pleasure builds, watch her lithe body as she moves against him, watch her take his cock and fuck herself just how they both want. He can watch her hair move over her shoulders, gather it in his fingers and watch her eyes darken with lust at the feel of him tugging on the silky strands. He can watch her full breasts bounce with every movement she makes, see her rosy nipples and wrap his lips around them when he wishes. He can caress the soft skin of her back and thighs, dig his fingers into the plushness of her ass and guide her. He can feel her breath on his skin, kiss her as thoroughly as he likes, and it feels like a meeting of hearts as well as bodies. It feels like melding. He drags a hand over her chest, softly caressing one hardened nipple, cupping the fullness of her breast and brushing his thumb over the nub. She leans back to give him room, holds his shoulders for leverage, and he dips his head to suck on the delicate pulse point on her neck. The sounds she makes are more than arousing, they are maddening, and he can’t help but squeeze her harder, flick her nipple more firmly as he drags tongue and teeth over her flesh, force more of those delicious noises from her body. He doesn’t expect to last long, not with her responsive and pliant on top of him, so he reaches lower, reaches between them to find her swollen clit. She jerks the moment he touches her there, jerks rough and hard against him and breaks, and he follows her over the edge into ecstasy. Vision kisses her as she rides the wave of her orgasm down, kisses her greedily and hungrily. He has never eaten, will never hunger for food or suffer of thirst, but he knows he will end without this woman, and his body hungers for her. She kisses him back with passion, and he feels her own need in every press of her lips, every swipe of her tongue along his. He breathes her in, filling his lungs with her, with the scent of her skin and their sex, and he feels at home. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent” Chapter Fifty-Five By Darthelwig ++++ Wanda sat facing him, legs straddling his lap, and he wrapped his arms around her, anchoring her to him. She brushed her lips over his, a tease and an invitation, before bending her head to his neck and dragging her teeth and tongue over his sensitive skin. He stroked his palms over her back to soothe them both, unwilling to speed things up quite yet, wanting to draw this out and enjoy her. His lover. His Wanda. He opened his mouth to her next kiss, breathing her in even as she refused him a taste, flicking her tongue over his lips before pulling away. He nuzzled her cheek, her ear, her neck, letting his breath play over her skin and smiling, gratified, when she shivered. “Let me,” he whispered in her ear. Her hands clutched at his shoulders as her legs tightened against his thighs. “You want something?” she absolutely purred. The sensual drawl to her voice set heat flaring in his gut, in his cock, and he tangled his fingers in her hair to bring her face to his. “Let me,” he repeated, wanting to hear it, needing it from her. “Take what you want, Vis,” she said, heavy-lidded eyes filled with lust. “Take it.” Fingers tight in her hair, he leaned his head across the short distance between them and kissed her hungrily. He groaned at the taste, the heat and silkiness of her sweet mouth. She opened to him willingly, wantonly, kissing him back just as greedily as she rocked her wet, hot core against his cock. The sensation was almost too much, it threatened to undo him, but he slowed their kisses, smoothed his fingers through her hair, focused on regaining his threadbare control. Still, he kept kissing her, exploring her plush lips with softer, sweeter kisses that were still nowhere near chaste. He felt drunk on her, his head spinning more with every sip from her ruby lips. “Is that... all... you wanted?” she asked in the breaths between kisses. “Do you enjoy driving me mad?” he replied, looking at her. The sparkle in her eyes was answer enough, but she draped her arms across his shoulders and gave a long, slow, sensual roll of her hips that had him gasping. “I just wanna make you happy, Vis,” she said, her voice low and seductive. “I think I can make you very happy,” she whispered against his lips, sending a shudder through him. Her hand slid down into his lap, stroking his cock through his pants, and he moaned. God, this woman. What she did to him. “You got what you wanted,” Wanda said with a sexy smile. “Now it’s my turn.” Taking the hint, Vision phased his clothes off. The moment the warm, soft skin of her hand touched his cock, he was lost. He wanted nothing more than to give her whatever she wanted. Anything, as long as she kept touching him. His head tipped back as she stroked him, slim fingers exploring his length. “Look at me, Vis,” she said firmly. He raised his head to look at her, and she was smiling coyly. “You know what I want?” He couldn’t think, couldn’t answer, could just stare at the goddess before him. “I want this big cock inside me. I wanna feel it filling me up. I wanna fuck it. Does that sound good to you?” He nodded wordlessly, but she shook her head and rubbed her thumb over the head oh his cock, making him groan. “I wanna hear you say it. Do you want me to fuck your big cock, Vis? Is that what you want?” “Yes. Yes,” he gasped. “I want you to fuck me.” She leaned forward and kissed him deeply, greedily, as she pushed her tiny panties to the side and slid down onto his firm shaft. She was tight and hot, a velvet fist around his cock, and no matter how many times he got to be inside of her, he knew he would never tire of it. She was perfect, felt perfect, every time. Then she began to move, and he couldn’t help the moans tumbling from his lips. Their mouths crashed together in sloppy, mutual need, tongues dueling as their bodies came together. She moved slowly, setting a delicious rhythm that let him savor every moment of being inside of her. She was trembling in his arms as she rode him, but she kept her pace steady and certain. He grabbed her hips, guiding her, using his hold as leverage as he began to thrust up into her. She braced herself on his chest and stilled, let him fuck up into her as hard as he wanted. He watched her intently as she threw her head back, the sounds she was making all the encouragement he could need. Thankful for his synthetic capabilities, he pounded up into her tirelessly, chasing that ultimate pleasure for them both. “That’s it, Vis,” she said breathlessly. “Take it. Take me.” He could tell she was close. Hell, he was close. It would be a minor miracle if he could hold on until she came. She felt so fucking good. “I want you to come,” he gritted out between clenched teeth. “Oh fuck,” she gasped. Then her hips jerked and her body clamped down on his cock as she tumbled over the edge into ecstasy. Her sweet little pussy milked his shaft, and he lasted only a few more thrusts before he was following her into bliss. His orgasm didn’t wash over him so much as swallow him whole, all he was aware of was the blinding pleasure. He opened his eyes, wondered briefly when he had closed them, and took in the sight before him of Wanda absolutely wrecked as she sat on his lap with his cock inside her. Her skirt was down, covering the place where they were still joined. He smoothed the hair back from her sweaty face and kissed her gently. “Was that everything you wanted?” he asked. “Was it for you?” she retorted with an arched brow, and he had to smile. “Yes. That was exactly what I wanted,” he told her. “Good.” She wrapped herself around him and he held her tight. She was everything he had never imagined he could have, everything he wanted for his life, and she was here, sharing these pleasures with him. It was beautiful and perfect, and he hugged her close. “It was perfect.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent” Chapter Fifty-Six By Darthelwig ++++ Vision kept his steps slow and even as he walked around her in a loose circle. She was beautiful like this, on her knees, hands clasped behind her back, hair spilling in dark waves down her shoulders. The smooth, soft lines of her back tempted him, making his fingers itch to caress her. She was at attention, not sitting back on her heels, ready to do whatever he asked of her, and he took a moment to admire the plush of her ass as he paced. Her hair had grown long, nearly covering the sweet pink of her nipples. The ends brushed against them, and they were already hard little points begging for his mouth. Her eyes followed him as far as they could as she continued to face forward, unmoving, and he smiled approvingly. He stopped behind her and gathered her hair, pulling it back so it draped down her back, leaving her front bare. He could see the shiver go through her, the goosebumps pop up on her skin. He leaned down to place a soft kiss on her shoulder, following it up with a gentle nip. A small gasp was his reward. Wanda’s eyes met his as he moved in front of her yet again, this time stopping and reaching out to cup one full breast. He palmed the underside of it, enjoying the feel before dragging his fingers over the supple flesh. With her hands behind her back as they were, her breasts were pushed forward, presented to him like the gift they were, like the gift she was. He rolled one mouthwatering nipple between his fingers, tweaked it in ways he knew drove her crazy, and watched as she bit her lip. But she stayed where she was. His good girl. He phased his clothes away, baring himself to her appreciative gaze. He loved how she looked at him. It never failed to make him feel desirable, and oh so human. Vision palmed his cock, stroking it’s hard length, watched as Wanda’s tongue darted out to moisten her luscious lips. He moved his cock to her lips and she opened easily, welcoming him in. Her mouth was hot and wet, a heaven he never wanted to leave. She sucked him slow, and he moved his hips in time with her languid movements. Hands firmly behind her back, she closed her eyes and made love to his cock with her mouth and tongue. She had learned all of his buttons by now, learned exactly what to do to give him the most amount of pleasure, and that’s what she did. The way her tongue swirled over the tip of his cock, the way she used it on him as she bobbed her head on his shaft, the way she took him deep, letting him into her throat until she gagged... she was glorious in her worship. It was more than he could take. He pulled out of her mouth, to which she made a sound of dismay, and leaned down to capture her lips in a kiss. He could taste himself on her, and their flavors combined was intoxicating. She kissed him with a ferocity that might’ve startled a man less acquainted with her needs. He knew what she wanted, knew she would gladly and greedily devour his cock until he came over and over in her mouth. It was tempting. God, was it tempting. But he wanted something else even more. “Hold on to me,” he told her, the first words he’d spoken since they’d started. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he lifted her in a bridal carry. She was light as a feather to him, the few steps to her bed like nothing to his strength, and he laid her down gently upon the covers. She rested on her back with knees bent, watching him, a smile on her lips, and he didn’t have to say anything. She clasped her hands above her head, submitting to him. He climbed on the bed and parted her legs, knelt between them to better see as she revealed the moist, glistening folds of her cunt. She hid nothing, letting him look his fill, and the desire burning within him became a raging inferno of lust. He leaned in to lick her inner thighs where she’d become wet from her own juices. His eyes briefly fluttered closed at the salty sweet taste of her, then he could hold back no longer. He buried his tongue in her cunt, licking and sucking at the delicate folds as she cried out above him. He could’ve lost himself in her, spent literal hours with his head between her legs until she was begging him to stop, but he had other plans, other desires. He licked her moisture off his lips as he crawled up her body, stopping briefly to suck her pretty nipples before kissing her once more. He drove his cock into her without warning, swallowing her gasp and then her moan. This was what he wanted, to be buried within her, enveloped in her heat and wetness of her desire. She was so tight, so perfect, fitting him so well. Vision pumped himself into her as hard as he dared, enjoying the sight of her breasts bouncing on his thrusts. He captured one in his mouth, closed his teeth on her nipple and felt her inner muscles contract around his cock in reaction. He laved her nipples, her throat, with his tongue, sucked on her sensitive spots until he could feel she was close, then he lifted himself over her, braced on his hands, and fucked her harder. She came quickly, her entire body shaking. Her hands threatened to part, her control slipping, but he watched her recover and clasp them more tightly together. His good girl. His love. He was still rock hard inside her, he had slowed his movements but didn’t stop. Her inner muscles were twitching and fluttering along his length, aftershocks of her orgasm, and he gave a sharp jerk of his hips as he smiled down at her evilly. She questioned him with a raised eyebrow, but didn’t speak. He hadn’t done this before, and it was probably dangerous, but he calculated the danger to be minimal and the possible results completely worth it. His cock still buried deep inside her, he increased his density. Wanda’s eyes widened as she felt him grow even harder inside her. He thrust into her and she groaned loudly, a little gasp escaping her as he withdrew again. He kept his pace slow for a bit, enjoying the way her slick cunt pulsed around his cock, but he couldn’t maintain it. She was slick and perfect and her eyes were filled with need. He fucked her harder, faster, allowing himself to let loose when it didn’t hurt her. She had her head thrown back, exclamations of pleasure forced from her throat with every thrust of his cock. She was so soft against him and around his cock, and he pounded her with abandon, letting his lust guide him. She wrapped both arms and legs around him, and he didn’t even care that she’d lost control and let go. She needed him and he needed her, and his cock hammered her sweet pussy until she was almost screaming, convulsing against him as her orgasm ripped through her. He followed shortly behind, his vision blanking as the pleasure overtook him. He reduced his density as his awareness returned. She was panting beneath him, sweaty and wrecked, but smoothing her hands over his head in soothing strokes. “That was good,” she said breathily, her voice hoarse. He had to laugh. “Yes. That was good,” he replied and buried his face in her neck with a kiss. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent” Chapter Fifty-Seven By Darthelwig ++++ It’s days like this that frustrate her. She’s been needy and wanting since their last encounter was interrupted, and she’s been too long without his touch. She’s ached to reach out for him all day, tempted herself with the idea of it, told herself she would be able to stop before her raw need overtook her. But she knows it’s a lie. Once she has his smooth skin under her fingertips, she won’t want to let go until they’ve wrung every ounce of pleasure out of each other. And Vision is so, so good at giving her pleasure. Just the thought of it is enough to have her squirming, remembering his mouth on her, his fingers grasping, cock penetrating her deeper than any man she’s been with before. Their bodies are made for each other, and she craves him. He speaks to Sam and she wants him more with every movement of his lips. He nods his head to Rhodey and she aches to trace the lines of vibranium with fingers, lips, and tongue. She’s so primed that, when he respectfully opens the door for her she can’t help but think about all the times he’s handled her just as roughly as she needs, and her already sensitive nipples become almost painfully hard. Unfortunately, the day is dragging on, and she nearly screams when Steve declares they’ll be training late into the night to practice night ops. And Vision himself seems unbothered by the delayed gratification being forced upon them. He barely looks at her, and when he does his face is nothing but polite neutrality. She wants to kiss him, touch him, force him to feel. It’s killing her. Eventually she can’t take it anymore, can’t take watching his beautiful body and graceful movements. She needs release, and she locks herself into a bathroom to get it. She clumsily shoves her leggings and panties down to her knees and braces her back against the wall. Knees slightly bent, eyes closed, she can imagine Vision is kneeling before her, hunger in his gaze as he leans in to taste her. She slides her fingers against her clit, then into the soft folds of her cunt, coating her fingers in her slick moisture and pretending it’s Vision’s tongue moving over her. She jumps when she feels large, warm hands grip her thighs, and her eyes pop open to see Vision kneeling before her almost exactly as she’d imagined. Shock gives way to lust almost immediately, and she opens her legs wider as he leans forward to put his hot mouth on her cunt. His tongue feels even better than she’d imagined, and he devours her with abandon. He circles her clit, dips his tongue into her aching hole, explores every inch of her as he drinks her down. The sounds of him going down on her are absolutely obscene, and it enflames her already overly eager libido. She comes on his tongue, quick and hard. But he doesn’t stop. He licks and sucks her folds until she is rocking against his face. Her legs feel weak, but she can’t stop moving, and he takes a moment to pull one of her legs over his shoulder, letting part of her weight rest on him before diving in again. His hands are supporting her, steadying her so she can focus on her pleasure, and she reaches for him, hands caressing his head and pulling him closer. She grinds down on his face, his nose bumping her clit as she moves, and she comes again as he shoves his tongue inside of her. He brings her down with gentle swipes of his tongue, and she’s still so aroused, but she can finally think. “You’ve been ignoring me all day,” she says hoarsely. He looks up at her, face wet and looking like a dream, his eyes startlingly bright. “It was all I could think to do to resist dragging you off. I apologize if that hurt you.” He presses a kiss to her fingers. “It’s okay, Vis.” She grins. “You can make it up to me.” “Oh?” he asks, and she strokes a finger over his cheek. “Get up here and fuck me.” Vision wastes no time, surging to his feet and capturing her lips in a heated kiss. She can taste herself on him and it only makes her hotter, wetter, the hollow ache between her legs becoming unbearable. She turns and plants her hands on the wall, pressing her ass back into him as he phases his clothes away. Even expecting it, she still gasps as he enters her in one swift thrust, filling and stretching her needy cunt. He buries himself deep, and she fights to control the shudders that wrack her body. He is perfect, so perfect, and she’s needed this for so long. It is almost too much. But she feels the loss of him when he draws back, the emptiness inside her calling out for more, for him to drive his cock back into her until they were both finally sated and she feels whole again. Vision grabs her breasts and squeezes them roughly as he thrusts back into her, and she can’t help but cry out as he finally starts fucking her in earnest, increasing the pace until he is pounding her wildly. He digs his fingers into her hips and that tiny bite of pain has her clenching on his cock. His hips falter when he feels it, and he groans in her ear, making her shiver. She is so close. Fuck. Just a little more... And he gives it to her, sliding his fingers down to rub her clit as he resumes his frantic pace. Suddenly she is lost, tumbling over the edge into bliss that has her vision whiting out. She is aware of shaking and bucking against Vision, and his arms wrapping around her, but everything else is gone, unnecessary and unimportant. As awareness comes back, she realizes Vision is still hard and throbbing inside of her. His strong arms envelope her, keeping her from falling, her safe space. He presses a kiss to her hair and jerks his hips, giving a few final, powerful thrusts before he comes. She relishes his moan in her ear, his breath ghosting over her skin. He rests his head against her shoulder after, long arms around her waist in a gentle embrace. “I hope that made it up to you,” he says a bit breathlessly. “You’re worth waiting for,” she says, and holds him close. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent” Chapter Fifty-Eight By Darthelwig ++++ Wanda waited patiently on her hands and knees, anticipation coiling in her gut. She was naked, on the edge of her bed, and she could’ve felt vulnerable, but Vision was behind her somewhere and she was safe in his keeping. A frisson of excitement swept through her when she heard him moving, and she shivered as he ran his fingertip up the inside of her thigh. Her pussy ached for his touch, but he avoided brushing against her. She took a deep breath to steady herself, willing herself to be patient, to trust that Vision was gonna make this so good. She sucked in a shuddering breath when his strong hands gripped her buttocks and squeezed, kneading her supple flesh, and then his tongue met her slick folds, making her moan. She was absolutely dripping wet, and he slurped and sucked at her greedily. His tongue found her throbbing clit and she jerked against him as he worked it skillfully. He knew exactly what she liked, and she writhed as he gave it to her. God, she was gonna come. She was gonna come so hard. Then he pulled away, and she whimpered as her body reached for that finish and couldn’t find it. She was trembling, ready to beg, to do anything to get him to touch her again. “Vis-” “Hush.” His tone left no room for argument, and she swallowed her pleas. A stinging slap on her ass made her groan, and it was followed by a few more hard swats that left her burning with lust. “Color,” he said softly. “Green,” she responded breathlessly. He didn’t reply, but delivered a couple of lazy smacks to her before rapidly increasing the pace and force of his strikes. He spanked her steadily until she was panting and moaning with every fall of his hand across her flesh, the pain having quickly melted into pleasure. He paused only to dip one long finger between her folds. “So wet,” he murmured, almost too quietly for her to hear, but she heard it loud and clear when he sucked her wetness off his finger with a satisfied hum. Then his palm fell across her ass again and the sting sent shivers up her spine as the heat and tension in her core built up. She lost track of time, lost track of everything, until Vision stopped and massaged her ass, gently rubbing away the burn. She couldn’t help but collapse onto her elbows, arms too weak to support her anymore. “Good girl,” he said, and she smiled at the praise, proud of herself for pleasing him. He delivered kisses to her stinging flesh, soft brushes of his lips to soothe her. She lay there with her eyes closed, enjoying his tender ministrations, soaking up the loving way his hands caressed her sides and thighs. He pushed her legs further apart and she offered no resistance, welcoming whatever he wanted to do to her. Her core ached at being unfulfilled, but she was too wrung out to be impatient, malleable and pliant in his strong hands. “Color,” he said when he had her positioned. When she didn’t reply, too lost in her head and the cloud of euphoria, he repeated himself. “Color, Wanda,” he said more loudly. “So green,” she managed to say, and a squeeze to her hip was his acknowledgment. Then he was inside of her, one powerful thrust driving him cock home. His rough entry tore a guttural cry from her, and she ground herself on his cock as best she could in her position. His soft laugh was in direct contradiction to his movements now, forceful and rough, his grip on her hips the only thing keeping her in place as he pounded her cunt, taking his pleasure from her. He held her so tightly he was lifting her off the bed to meet his thrusts, and every jolt as he hit bottom inside her teased her clit and brought her closer to a screaming orgasm. She was completely in his control, helpless to resist. It was perfect. She was trying hard not to come too soon, but his cock filled her so perfectly, his hard length violently pounding her cunt and pushing her closer and closer to the edge. Her throat felt raw from the constant whines and moans he was forcing from her. And then he dug his fingers into her hips even harder, tightened his grip until it hurt, and that bite of pain was all it took to send her hurtling over the edge into an explosive orgasm. She shook apart beneath him, and he rode her through it, sending her to the heights of ecstasy again before joining her. She could feel his cock throbbing and jerking inside her as he came, and his smooth voice broke as he cried her name. He lowered her gently to the bed afterwards and she curled limply on her side, breathing hard. She let out a contented hum when Vision settled on the bed behind her and ran his fingers through her hair. “Are you alright?” he asked, sounding a little nervous. “Mmm. Never better,” she replied, a smile on her lips. Her eyes seemed to be closing of their own accord, she couldn’t keep them open, and she felt Vision caress her cheek. “Rest, Wanda. I’ll take care of you.” “I know,” was her last thought before sleep claimed her. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent” Chapter Fifty-Nine By Darthelwig ++++ “Vis?” He shushed her as he reached around to close the bedroom door behind her. His hand came up to caress her shoulder as he turned the lock. When he looked at her again she was staring up at him, her green eyes wide and questioning and trusting all at once, and he couldn’t help but smile. “You are so beautiful,” he told her, brushing his fingers over her cheekbones and lips, enjoying the softness of her skin. She was so damn soft, everywhere. No matter what training she was put through or how hard the Avengers worked her, no matter how toned she became, she always felt so soft to his touch. She smiled shyly, so utterly charming in her bashfulness when she was bold in every other way. They could talk sex without issue, but a kind word could have her blushing. He leaned down to kiss her, gentle and sweet, pleased when her hands came up to cup his face as he took his time exploring her lips. She let him set the pace, and he lost himself for a moment in the simple pleasure of breathing her in as they kissed, of sharing the same air. He felt her eagerness when he finally deepened the kiss, swiping his tongue along her lips so she opened for him. She pulled him close, kissed him hard, greedily. Her body pressed against his, it was difficult to remember he’d wanted to take things slowly, to savor her. He only barely managed to regain his senses. With a shaky breath, he broke their kiss. “Allow me,” he said, as if he were offering to take her coat. As if his fingers weren’t toying with the buttons of her dress. As if he wasn’t already ready to take her. “Of course,” she said hoarsely, eyes darkened with desire. How he loved that look on her. With deft, practiced fingers he worked the buttons, slowly baring her skin to his gaze. He couldn’t look away, couldn’t see anything but her. She wore a plain, unassuming bra, not the lace she liked to present him with, and he ran his fingers along the edge of the satin. “Different,” he remarked. “Laundry day,” she said in a strangled voice. He grinned and let his finger trail down over her nipple, making her shiver. “Beautiful.” He unbuttoned the dress all the way down to where it stopped just above her navel. With a soft touch, he placed his palm on her and slid it around to her side and up to her ribs. He reveled in her warmth, the heat of her skin under his palm. She was smoother even than the satin of her bra, and he brushed his thumb along the edge of the material, making her shiver. He moved her bra strap then, leaving it dangling along her arm so he could pull down the satin cup, baring her breast to his gaze. He ghosted his fingers along the sweet pink of her areola, avoiding the hard point of her nipple until he couldn’t resist anymore and leaned down to take it into his mouth. Her skin was sweet on his tongue, and he sent a silent thank you to his long-dead predecessor for his desire to create as human a body as possible. How diminished his life would be without the taste of her in his memory, without being able to experience every part of her he could. He put thoughts of Ultron out of his head, though. He had no place here between them. Instead, he focused on the soft sighs and whimpers Wanda made as he suckled at her. She never failed to respond to his attentions, even when he’d been hesitant and unsure at first. Now, he could have her shaking apart in his arms with just the touch of his mouth if he so desired, and he skillfully pushed her towards that edge, worked her sensitive flesh with teeth and tongue and lips until she was clutching at him and oh, so close. But it wasn’t time yet, and he had other desires to sate. Vision released her nipple making her cry out at the loss of him. She looked like she wanted to say something, and he paused for a moment to give her the chance, but she just smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck, placing a kiss on his jaw. With a smile of his own, he picked her up, carried her the short few feet to her bed, and set her down gently. He pulled the dress over her head, unhooked her bra and let it fall to the floor, leaving her in nothing but her tiny panties and a coy smile. He took the time to feast his eyes on her, to let his hands skim her sides and hips. She was always so beautiful. No piece of art could ever compare. She let him look his fill, then let him guide her down onto the mattress. He took his time sliding her panties down her long legs, pressed kisses to her thighs as he bared her. He could see in her eyes how desperate she was for more by the time her panties hit the floor, could sense the urgency in her, and he decided to give her what she so desired. He slid her to the end of the bed and she spread her legs wide as he settled on his knees on the floor and buried his face in the hot, wet center of her being. She reacted like a live wire, tensing and jerking beneath him, and he had to hold her steady as he flicked his tongue over her clit then dragged it down between her folds to tease her opening. Her voice rose in unhindered pleasure, sweet music to accompany the sounds of him licking and sucking the sweet, tangy juices from her pussy. She came in minutes, exploding on his tongue, and he lapped at her greedily, not letting up until she was writhing and moaning again. He stood, phasing his clothes away. His cock stood at proud attention, and the look on her face as she gazed at him from heavy-lidded eyes was nothing short of enflaming. She looked hungry, and she was wet and ready, and he couldn’t resist any longer. Not with the taste of her lingering in his mouth, driving him insane with need. As he positioned himself at her entrance she reached out, and he tangled his fingers with hers as he slowly pushed into her, not stopping until their bodies were completely joined. He paused then, let them both adjust to the feel of his cock buried inside her, then he gradually began to move. They kept their hands clasped as he took up a steady rhythm, their gazes locked, and he couldn’t help but think how absolutely stunning she was, flushed with desire and damp with sweat, spread out so sweetly and willingly before him. He took his time, savoring every exquisite moment of their joining. Every slow thrust into her had him sucking in a sharp breath. She fit him so tightly, her body snug around his cock and squeezing him just right. Entering her was what he imagined the religious would describe as heaven, indescribable bliss and peace. This was where he belonged, this was happiness, bringing them both to the heights of pleasure. The slow pace could only last for so long. Eventually he sped up his languid movements, thrusting harder and faster until he was pounding into her. She braced herself with one arm above her head but didn’t let go of his hand. And when she threw her head back as an orgasm overtook her, her fingers tightened on his. The clutch of her body on his cock, the fluttering feel of her inner muscles against his shaft, was all it took to push him over the edge right along with her. His hips stuttered as he came, his control shattered. He gave a few more jerking thrusts into her as he rode the waves of pleasure to their completion. Afterwards, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to her fingers, making her smile. He was still buried inside her, simply enjoying the sensation of being joined. “You are so very beautiful,” he told her. “So are you,” she said, using their clasped hands to pull him down to her. “Now make love to me again, Vis. I need you.” “As you wish,” he murmured before leaning in for a kiss. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent” Chapter Sixty By darthelwig ++++ “You cannot do that Wanda!” His voice, usually so smooth, grated in her ears. She slammed her bedroom door open and stomped through. “I will protect you how I see fit,” she snapped. The image of that weapon pointed at him... She shook her head to dismiss it but the image remained burned into her mind’s eye, haunting. “You put innocent lives at risk!” She swung around to face him, hands on her hips. “I don’t care. Better them than you. I won’t allow you to come to harm.” “I’m not worth that, Wanda. My life is not worth more than any human’s.” “It is to me!” she shouted, anger bursting forth. “I won’t lose you! Not if I can help it.” Vision’s gaze softened and he moved closer, tentatively reaching up to cup her face in his hands. “You wouldn’t have lost me, Wanda.” “You can’t know that,” she whispered, tears now beginning to spill over, “and I can’t, I can’t, lose you. You have no idea what it’s like...” A sob tore through her, and Vision leaned down to press his head gently to hers, mindful of the stone in his forehead. “I’m sorry, Wanda, more than you’ll ever know. But I cannot allow you to put others in harm’s way just for me,” he said softly. “You can’t stop me,” she said, resolute. She could see the disagreement in his eyes, and before he could say anything she pulled his head down to hers to brush a kiss over his lips. “I need you,” she murmured against his mouth once, and then again, close enough to taste him on every breath. She felt the moment he gave and surged against her, capturing her lips. She welcomed him in, welcomed his plundering tongue and the way he grasped her tightly to him, desperation in his movements. She was soft where he was hard, taking his pain and showering him with her love. A flick of her fingers slammed her door shut. She didn’t bother looking. Her eyes stayed closed as she kissed Vision breathlessly, as needy for him as he seemed to be for her. He was here, he was safe, and she would never let anyone hurt him. Vision picked her up easily, his fingers digging into the plush of her ass as he guided them both through the room. He followed her down onto the bed and she never let go of her hold on him, unwilling to allow space between them. He felt so solid on top of her, steady and strong. And then she felt him push her panties to the side and she broke their kiss with a gasp as he entered her in one swift motion. Her head fell back as Vision began to move, slowly sliding his length out of her before reentering in one powerful, punishing thrust. She grasped at his back and brought her legs up around his hips, allowing him deeper. He repeated his thrusts over and over, not building a rhythm but just making her take it as deep and hard as he could go. He was watching her face, his expression dark but needy, and she met his need with her own, welcoming him in. He was a hard, driving force atop her, inside of her, and she had never felt so wanton. She rocked her hips against him, pulling him as close as she could, crushing herself against him, and she’d never been as wet as she was in that moment. They could both hear it every time he moved inside her. She was molten, on fire for him, and she reveled in it. He was here, he was safe, he was inside of her where he belonged, and nothing was going to ever take him away from her if she had anything to say about it. Vision seemed almost surprised when his orgasm overtook him. His eyes opened wide, almost awed, and he let out a low, sensuous moan that sent tingles straight through her and triggered her own climax. She writhed, grinding her clit against him and prolonging the pleasure as long as she could. She trembled as the aftershocks went through her, as she clenched along his still-hard cock and made them both gasp. He flexed his hips, pushing ever deeper into her, and she whimpered with her need. Sex had never been like this before, not with anyone else, but they were perfectly made for each other, slotting together like halves of a whole, and her need was never ending. Neither of them lasted long this time either, but this time he buried his face in her neck when he came, his lips against her throat. When he raised his head the darkness was gone from his eyes, though sorrow remained. Wanda kissed him gently, fingers tracing his jaw. “I need you, Vision. Don’t ask me to let go.” “Wanda...” “Maybe it’s weak, but I’m only human, and I’ve experienced enough loss. I will always choose to save you, over anyone else. Can you accept that?” She could see the war waging behind his eyes, but in the end, he pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Of course I accept you,” he whispered. “I love you.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent” Chapter Sixty-One By darthelwig ++++ He wanted her. He wanted her so badly he dreamed about her, in that hazy, in-between state he considered sleep. His thoughts, both waking and dreaming, were full of her, her lips, her skin, the green of her eyes, the breathless way she said his name as he pleasured her. Like now. “Vision,” she breathed shakily, and if he hadn’t already been hard as a rock, he would’ve become so in that moment. He pressed his cock against the bed as he licked into her sweet center, making her arch, making her tremble. He flicked his tongue over her engorged clit, then pressed the flat of his tongue against her. He watched the muscles in her abdomen clench and quake as he worked her. Her own hands were on her soft breasts, plucking and squeezing and playing herself for him, for them both. She was so unbelievably perfect. He ignored the throbbing ache of his cock and focused instead on her ragged breathing and the quivering of her soft body as he savored her. God, he could do this forever, just drown in her, but he wanted more. He lifted his head, hands holding her hips steady. “Wanda,” he said softly. When she didn’t respond, he repeated himself more firmly. “Wanda. Look at me.” She braced herself on her elbows and looked down at him, and she was so gorgeous, chest heaving, covered in a sheen of sweat, hair wild and tumbling around her shoulders, eyes darkened with desire, and he had never wanted her more. He pressed a soft kiss to her clit, and she trembled almost violently beneath his hands but stayed as she was. He smiled up at her and dipped his tongue back into the hot, slick folds of her pussy. He maintained eye contact as he lapped up her arousal, watched her jaw go slack as he circled his tongue over her clit. “Please, Vis.” That plea on her lips inflamed him, and he moaned against her sensitive flesh. He slid a finger into her, felt the way her body clenched around it. “Tell me what you want, Wanda,” he told her. He wanted to hear it, needed it. He fucked his finger into her slowly as he watched her swallow hard and attempt to find her voice again. “Please make me come,” she asked, almost sweetly, and he could deny her no longer. He flicked his tongue over her clit in a rhythm he’d memorized long ago, the rhythm that had her rushing towards her peak. He slid another finger into her slick channel as he worked her with his mouth and was rewarded with a low moan. He fucked her hard on his fingers until she fell apart on them, her head falling back as her orgasm rushed over her. She was so beautiful, throat working with the sounds of her pleasure, breasts heaving, hips rocking, pushing her pussy against his face and hand. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from her, his entire being laser-focused on the goddess before him who had, for some reason he would never really understand, chosen to share this with him. She reached down with one shaky hand to caress his head, and he leaned into her touch. He pressed a kiss to her palm, then her inner thigh, and when he looked up again, she was staring down at him, eyes still dark with arousal. “Come here,” she murmured, and he went willingly, covering her body with his as she sank back into the mattress. His lips found hers and she moaned as he slipped his tongue into her mouth, letting her taste herself. He kissed her slowly, lingeringly, and the sensual way her body began to move under him let him know she was ready. He reached down and positioned his cock, and she was so wet, so hot, but he paused. He pulled his head back so he could look into her eyes as he entered her, gradually working his length deeper and deeper. She kept her own eyes open and focused on him as best she could, and it was almost too much for him when her eyelids fluttered and she bit her lip hard as he finally sank his full length into her. He started out barely moving, just a slight shift of his hips moving his cock inside of her, but it wasn’t enough for either of them for long. He felt engulfed by her, her limbs wrapped around him and clutching him close while he began to fuck her in earnest. Long, slow strokes quickly changed to hard and fast, until she was bouncing under him, and he braced her as best he could as he pounded into her. She was moaning his name, over and over, driving him mad with lust and need, and he had just enough presence of mind to reach between them to find her clit and drive her over the edge right along with him. He cried out her name as he came, hips bucking wildly against her, trying to get as deep inside her as he could. He buried his face in her neck as he came down from his high, pressed his lips to her throat and felt her racing pulse. It matched the rapid pace of his own synthetic heart, the heart that he knew in his soul beat only for her. He knew he should’ve been getting up, should be sliding out of her and cleaning her up, making sure he hadn’t hurt her, but he couldn’t bring himself to move. He wanted to stay buried in her forever, his entire being wrapped up in hers, and she held him close like she knew. If he could just stay like this with her forever... “I’m here,” she whispered as she pulled him even closer, and in that moment everything was perfect. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent” Chapter Sixty-two By darthelwig **** Long, slender legs wrapped around his hips, smooth shoulders marked with his love bites, hardened nipples brushing against the vibranium plates of his chest, and husky moans echoing in the kitchen with every thrust of his hips driving his cock deeper into her. She shuddered against him as she came, body clenching and fluttering around his length, driving him insane with need. He buried himself inside of her, held himself there as she came down from her high. He took the brief respite as a chance to wrap his lips around her nipples, laving one and then the other with his tongue before sucking them hard, biting gently, enough to make her gasp and twitch, enough for her to feel it through the pleasure. He made love to her breasts, sending her straight into another orgasm, or perhaps simply extending the first. He could know for sure if he wanted to, could use his synthezoid abilities to measure her physical responses, but in this moment he was just a man making love to his woman, needing nothing more than to feel her come on his cock until she simply couldn’t anymore. He dragged his teeth over her neck as he began to move again, the obscene sounds of their coupling the sweetest music. She was so tight around him, but he moved easily within her, she was so wet. It painted her inner thighs, coated his cock, dripped onto the counter beneath her. Lost in lust, she opened her legs wider, and he hooked his arms under them for support as he began to pound her roughly. His furious pace had her entire body bouncing, her long neck exposed, head thrown back, long hair falling in loose curls. She was wild, wanton, perfect. Her fingers dug into his shoulders, seeking purchase. He growled as he fucked her harder, harder than a normal man ever could, just hard enough to hurt. He gritted his teeth as he sought that perfect spot between pain and harming her. She was molten on his cock, coming apart again, and this time he followed her, feeling his release from head to toe. He barely heard his own voice join hers as he lost himself in the feeling, all his senses focused on their joining. Cathartic tears painted her cheeks as she leaned on him, running her hands along the muscles of his back. He caressed her in return, enjoying the feel of her soft skin under his palms. He threaded his fingers through her hair as she shuddered against him, pressed a kiss to her temple. “Again,” he said. “I can’t,” she whispered, and he tipped her chin up with a finger, gazed into her eyes, measuring her. “You can,” he replied. He was still hard inside of her, still ached for more, and he rocked his hips against her. She whimpered and clutched at him. Worry fluttered in his chest but she moaned, pressed her forehead to his shoulder and met his rhythm. He was gentle this time as he set the pace. Leisurely, savoring the sensation of her pussy wrapped around him, he held her close. Fingers trailed over her back, her shoulders, her thighs. He fucked her slowly, with shallow thrusts. Their bodies moved together, a familiar rhythm he never tired of. “So beautiful,” he whispered into her hair, against her ear. “So perfect.” His words had her spasming on his cock, so close to another orgasm, and he reached between them to rub her neglected clit. Her reaction was instantaneous. She bucked her hips, sinking him impossibly deep inside of her as she came. Stars burst behind his eyes as she dragged him with her over the edge. He caught himself on the counter as he nearly collapsed on top of her, pressed his forehead to her sternum as he throbbed and pulsed inside of her, orgasm ripping through his entire being. She tipped his chin up, forced his eyes to focus on her through his pleasure. “More,” she said breathlessly, and he began to move. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent” Chapter Sixty-three By darthelwig ++++ The room is dark, lit only by the light of the tv playing softly across from where they are seated on the couch. The Avengers went to bed hours ago. It’s just the two of them now, as they prefer it. His arm is around her, and Wanda curls her fingers into his sweater as she hooks her leg over his thigh. He leans down to kiss her, a gentle brush of his lips. She kisses him and lets her hand wander over his chest, his stomach. He sucks in a breath when her palm meets his thigh and her fingers clench into the fabric of his pants. This is still new to him. They are still new to each other. “I want to make you feel good,” she says as she slides her fingers over his inner thigh. He’s hard already, his pants tented. Her mouth waters at the sight. His eyes drop to her mouth as she bites her lip. “You always make me feel good,” he tells her. Her fingers slowly trace over his bulge, and he sucks in a shaky breath she doesn’t think he even needs as she explores his length through the fabric. “Pants off, Vis,” she says as she presses a kiss to his lips. He obeys her instantly, phasing away the offending material, leaving his lower half completely bare. Her hand finds his cock and he moans almost before she’s even got her fingers wrapped around him. It’s the sexiest sound she’s ever heard. She wants to hear him make it again and again. His cock is hard and heavy in her palm. She caresses it, caresses him, with gentle, deliberate movements. His arm tightens around her and his gaze drops to his lap. She watches his eyes widen as she adds a twist of her wrist to her hand’s movements. He can’t seem to look away, even as she begins to whisper against his cheek. “You’re so sexy, Vis. I love touching you. I love what I do to you.” Her lips brush over his cheek, almost a kiss. “I love what you do to me.” She moans as she tightens her grip and strokes him hard and fast, his hips rising up, chasing her touch. Now she can’t look away either, both of them staring at her hand wrapped around his length. She slows her movements again, lightens her touch, not ready for it to be over, and he groans. “Not yet,” she says softly. She brushes her thumb over the head of his cock, toys with the sensitive ridge underneath, and not for the first time she wonders what Ultron had planned for this body he created. She suspects she knows what he wanted, but she doesn’t let it bother her. This body is not his, it’s Vision’s, and he would never take from her so she gives him everything, every part of herself. She watches herself pleasure him, and she has never felt more needed. This man, the strange man who holds the universe inside of him and still manages to retain a charming innocence, he needs her, wants her, submits to her whenever she desires. She has never felt more powerful or more scared than she does when they’re like this. She could fuck it all up in an instant. She could get it all right. She just wants to make him happy. She pulls herself into his lap, kisses him, slides her tongue along his as she invites him into her mouth. His lips are soft, always soft and smooth and warm, and she almost loses herself in their kiss. Almost, but she can feel his cock against her thigh and she has a need to see him undone. He groans something unintelligible into her mouth as she takes his cock in hand once again. She works him with long, slow strokes, presses the aching heat between her legs down and down until it touches his length. She was going to make him come in her hand, was going to finish him with her fingers, was going to… Instead she shifts her underwear to the side and presses the tip of his perfect cock between her folds, moves him back and forth until he is slick with her moisture, then positions him at her opening and lowers herself onto him. They both groan as he slides inside, fills her aching channel. She wraps her arms around his neck and rides him, rocking her hips in a rough and determined rhythm. He can only hold on for the ride, his fingers digging into her hips, large hands spanning her waist. He is big, so big in all the right ways, and she presses her cheek to his and holds him close as she fucks him. His hips begin to match her rhythm, forcing his cock deeper, and she is gonna come, gonna come so hard, but she needs him to come first, needs to feel it. She holds on by a thread, bites her lip so hard she tastes blood, and then he is bucking against her and she can feel his cock pulsing inside her pussy, he has her stretched so tight on his shaft. His voice sounds raw and ragged as he cries out her name right in her ear, and she lets go, jerks wildly against him as her pleasure crests and takes her. Slowly, hearing returns. She hears the television, a laugh track playing. Then feeling. She feels his hands stroking her sides and back, large hands with long fingers that have pleasured her so many times that she can’t help but blush when she looks at them. And sight. She opens her eyes, sits back to meet Vision’s gaze. He looks at her like she is something to see, like she’s beautiful, like she’s everything. She presses her forehead to his and his hand comes up to cup the back of her head, holding her close. The words are there, burning in her heart, but she can’t quite say them, not yet. Still, she melts into his touch and something inside her says he knows. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent” Chapter Sixty-Four By Darthelwig ++++ “Hush, darling. You’re going to get us caught,” he whispered into her ear from behind as he plucked the com link from her other ear, switched it off with a flick of his thumb, and dropped it to the ground on her discarded jacket. They were tucked into an alley near a ruined building, and he could hear the sounds of fighting in the distance. The battle was nearly over, the other Avengers just finishing the last of the cleanup, but he needed her. Here. Now. Smelling of smoke and sweat, wearing the most ridiculously sexy and impractical uniform he’d ever seen. Her tight leather pants and underwear were pushed down, but not far, and they were pulled taut against her thighs, not allowing her to spread her legs as far as he knew she wanted. She was slick, though, hot and wet, her inner thighs coated with the evidence of her arousal. It hadn’t taken long for him to work her into this state. With her adrenaline up from the fighting and his sure hand between her legs, she was putty in his hands. So perfect, so willing, so needy. He slid his hand around to her front, dipped his fingers between her legs again to be sure of how ready she was. Taking the moisture he found there, he trailed his wet fingers over her exposed chest, up her neck, to her mouth. Her lips parted and she sucked her sweetness from his fingers, her tongue swirling around them to catch everything she could. “Such a good girl for me,” he said, making her shiver. “Hands on the wall, darling.” Ever eager to obey, she braced her visibly shaking hands on the brick of the building. Vision trailed his fingers over her neck again, taking note of the erratic pulse that beat there, then tugged her hips backwards to find a better angle and positioned the tip of his cock at her entrance. “Now, darling. It’s time to let me hear you,” he said. She gasped and shuddered beneath his hands as he slowly entered her, not stopping until he was buried deep, until the soft curves of her ass were pressed against him. Being inside of her was torture, it was bliss. Her walls were fluttering against his shaft already, threatening to undo him before he’d truly even had her. He held her hips still with a firm grip, needing a moment to collect himself before his control slipped. He wasn’t going to last long, that seemed obvious, but he would get her off first if it killed him. He took a few steadying breaths before starting to move. He slid almost all the way out of her before sinking back in to the hilt in one long, smooth thrust, making them both moan. Another slow thrust and her legs began to strain even more against the tight confines of her uniform pants, trying to open for him, but he liked her just as she was, and he gave her hips a firm squeeze. “Vision.” He loved the way she sounded, so needy, so hoarse. He loved her voice, how low and husky it was, and her accent that was always thicker when he had her like this, at his mercy. “Please,” she begged, the sound going straight to his cock, making him throb, threatening to end this too soon. He ran his hands up her sides as he sought control. “God, Wanda.” His fingers found her breasts, the soft fullness of them barely contained by her corset, and she leaned into his touch, encouraging. He was tempted to rip the damn thing off her, let his greedy hands really feel her without the thick fabric in the way, but no. That would have to wait. He didn’t have time to undress her properly and indulge himself in her body. He leaned in close and sucked a mark onto her shoulder as he started to fuck her in earnest. He watched her fingers clench on the bricks, listened to her breathing turn ragged as he rutted into her. “So beautiful,” he whispered into her ear. “If only others could see you like I see you.” He moaned as her pussy clenched around him. “But this is only for me, isn’t it? Mine.” “Yes. God. Yes, Vis. Only yours.” She sounded utterly wrecked, strained and breathless and pleading. He couldn’t help but give her anything and everything when she sounded like that. He thrust into her as roughly as he could, using her breasts and hips as leverage so he could drive himself into her, seeking their mutual release. She was molten around his cock, liquid heat he was consumed by. His world narrowed down to her, hair flowing loose and wild down her back, taking him deep, little cries escaping her with every hammering thrust of his hips. He moaned her name as stars exploded behind his eyes and he came within her. Still, he felt the moment she reached her own climax, her inner walls gripping and milking his cock as she jerked against him, and he was quick to catch her as her knees gave out. He held her close, nuzzling her neck as they both recovered. She finally found her feet again and stood on shaky legs. He pulled her underwear up, smoothing his hand possessively over the thin fabric covering her soaked pussy before assisting her in pulling up her pants as well. He zipped her up while she adjusted her corset, then phased his own clothes back into place. She looked up at him with brilliant green eyes, everything about her expression soft, and he leaned down to kiss her gently. “Are you ready to rejoin them?” he murmured against her lips. The sounds of battle had died down significantly, signaling an end to the confrontation. His heart fluttered at the way her nose scrunched up. “Only because I want to go home with you,” she replied. She grabbed her coat, slipped it on, and placed the com link back in her ear. She switched it back on and listened for a moment. “Have they noticed our absence?” he asked softly. She shook her head, smiling. “Excellent.” He pressed another lingering kiss to her lips before taking her hand to lead her back to the others. Soon enough he would have to let her go, but he would keep her as close as he could for as long as he could. As much as she was his, he was also hers, and he valued every moment they shared. She squeezed his hand, and his heart was full. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent” Chapter Sixty-Five By Darthelwig ++++ Vision’s broad chest was solid, secure. He was a firm weight pressing her down, an anchor in a world of chaos and pain. Her rock and her safe harbor. Every brush of her hardened nipples against the vibranium plating on his chest sent sparks skittering through her, so much so she’d swear he was electric if she didn’t know better. But no, she was simply hypersensitive to each touch, and her core was wet and throbbing even before he’d touched her. She wanted it, wanted his fingers sliding along her folds, delving between them to find her needy little clit, to fill her cunt that ached with emptiness. She needed it, needed him, needed what only he could give her. No other man she’d ever been with came close, none had steadied and satisfied her like her synthezoid lover. She was going to die if he didn’t do something soon. But he simply pressed his weight down on her, letting her writhe against him, the chaos in her breaking against his steadfastness. He watched her with a look she didn’t want to identify, told herself she couldn’t, pretended she didn’t know. He watched her and he waited and she was going to die or kill him or both if he didn’t touch her. He pressed a kiss to her forehead, soft lips such a contrast to the rest of him, all muscle and metal and his hard cock that lay against her thigh. He was so much larger than her, he dwarfed her, eclipsing everything until all she could see was him. She spread her legs further apart and let his heavy weight settle more firmly between them. He feathered kisses along her brow, her eyelids, her cheeks. She turned her head to try to catch his lips in the kiss she’d been yearning for but he pulled back, deftly avoiding her. He grinned at her and she nearly growled, but he didn’t make her wait any longer. He dipped his head down to bring his lips to hers. She clutched at his chest, fingernails scraping heedlessly over vibranium as her lips parted, his tongue sweeping in to taste her. He kissed her hungrily, making her head swim as her entire body responded. She arched up into his unyielding frame, on fire with need. And then he was there, where she needed him most, cock gently probing at her slick entrance before sliding home in one long, smooth stroke. He held himself there, letting her adjust, but she didn’t need that, didn’t want it, and she whimpered against his lips. He understood her wordless pleas, he always did, and she cried out in relief as he began to move. His hips snapped against her as he fucked her into the mattress, barely pulling back before he thrust forward again and again. He was so deep inside her, so hard and heavy on top of her. She clung to him as she shook with the experience of it all, held to him as an ocean of pleasure welled up inside her. She gasped into his chest, dug her nails into his back, steadying herself as she rocked with the rhythm he had set. She could barely breathe, was going to drown in the storm of her emotions, be torn apart by the raging waves of pleasure he’d unleashed. But then his strong hand moved to the back of her head, holding her as he whispered, “I’ve got you.” And she gave herself up to the bliss, let it swallow her entirely, trusting him to never let go. Wanda sobbed out her pleasure as she convulsed around him, and Vision held her close as she milked him to his own completion. “I’ve got you,” he whispered as she came down from her high. It was the first thing that registered as she sucked in air, the feeling of drowning slow to leave. “I’ve got you.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent” Chapter Sixty-Six By Darthelwig ++++ She was so beautiful. Vision had a world of knowledge in his head, had seen many things from great works of art to breathtaking natural wonders, but none of that compared to the woman currently straddling his lap. He knew he was biased, as he was in all things pertaining to Wanda, but to him she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. And here she was, with him, choosing to spend her time in his arms. He wasn’t worthy of her, but he was selfish enough to take what she wanted to give him. Anything she chose to share, he eagerly accepted. He was hers. Wanda bit her lip as she waited for him to speak, to touch her, something. He could see the anticipation in her eyes, in the flush of her cheeks and the shallowness of her breathing. He brushed her hair back behind her ear, traced his fingers down her neck and along her jaw. She lifted her chin, baring the smooth lines of her throat to his eyes, but he ignored the temptation that presented. Instead his gaze wandered over her shoulders, her bare breasts and the hard peaks of her nipples, her taut stomach and lower, to the neat little patch of hair there. He slid his fingertips through it, brushed the tip of a finger over her clit and watched her shudder. She shifted, bringing his hard cock against the slick heat between her legs, and he should punish her for that, should make her beg for it as he edged her, but instead he reached down and rubbed the head of his erection against her opening, gently teasing. He ached to have her, didn’t want to wait any longer. He would make her pay in pleasure later. All he wanted right now was to be inside of her. He entered her slowly, guiding her hips down at the perfect angle for penetration. She clutched at his shoulders, mouth hanging open as he filled her. She was so perfect, so achingly lovely like this, joined with him as they should be and looking at him like he was truly a man. Her man, and the only one she allowed to touch her in this way. It was a privilege he was very aware of, and he treasured the honor. He flexed his hips to drive himself deeper into her hot sex, so wet and tight. When he dreamed, he dreamed of this, of being buried inside of her, her sweet little cunt wrapped around him like a glove. But even dreams couldn’t compare to the reality of it. She clenched around his shaft, throbbed and pulsed around him, her silky pussy eager and needy. He stared into her eyes, sparkling and green, as he slowly fucked up into her. Careful of the Mind Stone, she leaned forward to press her forehead to his, and he gripped her hips tightly as their breaths mingled and her breasts brushed against his chest. He could feel her nipples brush against his chest, wondered what his vibranium felt like to her when that happened. She leaned back as she began to truly move, rutting against him, greedy for pleasure. Her hips rocked back and forth, and he met her every movement with his own, just as eager as she was to reach their peak. He wanted to come inside of her, feel her cunt milking him as she came too. He wanted to feel her let go. She rode him with wild abandon, but as she got closer to the edge she leaned forward and pressed her lips where his ears should be and began whispering utter obscenities to him in Sokovian. Her accent, thick with lust, struck him hard, as it always did. He could feel himself beginning to peak, cresting on the edge, and he moaned loudly as he reached between them to circle her clit, desperate for her to come with him. Her teeth nipped the flesh of his shoulder as she came, bucking wildly against him and crying out breathlessly. His orgasm hit at the same time, and he held her hips steady with a bruising grip as he sank as deep into her as he could go. He lost himself in her tight cunt as it clenched and throbbed around him. While they recovered, he leaned back against the headboard and stroked her hair as she tucked her face into his neck. He could feel her lips brushing against him as she mouthed something he couldn’t quite hear, but it didn’t matter. She was relaxing against him, her body slowly going slack, and he held her snugly against him as she slipped into sleep. She was beautiful, and she was his, and he would love her until the stars burned out. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent” Chapter Sixty-Seven By Darthelwig ++++ Vision closed the door behind himself and leaned back against it, head hung down. Wanda rose from the bed to cup his face in her hands, worried eyes seeking his, but he refused to meet her gaze. “Vis, look at me,” she coaxed, but he remained unresponsive and it scared her. “Look at me,” she demanded, and he obeyed reflexively. She saw him wince when their eyes met, and the shame she saw in his gaze infuriated her. “What happened?” she asked, her tone leaving no room for anything but honesty. “I have been informed that our teammates see no reason to invite me to group bonding activities as I am simply a machine and would receive no benefit from the experience,” he said stiffly. Wanda could barely believe her ears, but the sadness radiating from his entire being couldn’t be denied. “And what bonding activities, exactly, are they excluding you from?” she asked through gritted teeth. “Colonel Rhodes mentioned the team will be viewing a movie together this evening. When I inquired further, he tried to ‘let me down easy,’ I suppose. He told me I had permission to skip the activity as it would be no benefit to me.” Pain lanced through her as she realized she hadn’t been invited either, but Rhodes’ casual dismissal of Vision focused her on anger rather than her own feelings of inadequacy. Wanda’s hands slipped down to her lover’s slumped shoulders. “He had no right to speak to you that way,” she nearly growled. Vision shook his head and looked at her mournfully. “Colonel Rhodes wasn’t trying to be unkind,” he said. “He was simply stating the facts as he sees them.” “Well, he’s wrong. You’re just as human as anyone else.” “Am I?” Those simple words ripped the air from her lungs, and it was the last straw. Forcing herself to breathe, Wanda dragged her hands down Vision’s torso and slid them under his sweater. Skin to skin, she leaned in close, and as hurt as he was, Vision couldn’t help but react to her. She felt the way he pressed ever so lightly into her touch, felt the shiver run through him when her breath ghosted over his skin. She let her gaze linger on his parted lips for a moment before pressing her lips to his. She kissed him deeply, hungrily, anger burning in her gut and driving her need. After a brief hesitation, Vision returned the kiss in kind, and she moaned as she pressed her body flush against him. She gripped his ass with both hands, squeezing hard and drawing soft little moans from his lips. “No machine,” she said, breaking their kiss to look him in the eyes, “could react like this.” She pulled the collar of her t-shirt down and pressed her breasts into his chest, smirking at the way his eyes dropped to admire her cleavage. “No machine would think the things you’re thinking right now.” She tipped his chin up with her finger, forcing his gaze up to hers once more. “And no machine could make me feel the way you do,” she finished. Vision brought his arms up around her as he lowered his face to her shoulder. He shuddered and let out a deep, heartbreaking sigh, then turned his face to her neck and brushed his silky lips over her skin. Wanda tilted her head to give him better access, and he lavished attention upon all the most sensitive spots on her neck that he’d lovingly mapped out as time went on. He licked and sucked at her, stopping just short of marking her, and it felt so good she could feel heat quickly building between her thighs. “On your knees,” she said breathlessly, and Vision obeyed immediately, sinking down and sitting back on his heels as he looked up at her. “You’re so good with that mouth,” she told him as she let her sleep shorts and panty slip to the ground. She hooked a leg over his shoulder, Vision’s gentle strength holding her steady. His face was so close to where she wanted it. She could feel his breath brushing over her, fanning the flames of her arousal. She watched Vision look at her pussy with such plain longing. It was impossible he was anything but human. She caressed his head, getting his attention. “You want it?” she asked, and he nodded. “Desire is a very human thing, Vis. Make me come.” Vision needed no further encouragement. He pressed his face to the dripping heat of her core and moaned as his tongue met her flesh. Wanda’s knees buckled at that first taste, that first swipe of his tongue over her folds, and she caught herself against the door, but Vision was also quick to catch her. His large hands secured her on top of him. She felt weightless, safe in the knowledge he would never let her fall, so she let herself be pulled into the bliss of his wicked lips between her legs. He was tireless, hungry for her, eagerly lapping and sucking at her swollen clit. She closed her eyes and rocked against his face, moaning every time he speared her aching hole with his tongue, gasping when his teeth grazed her clit. He knew exactly what she wanted, what she needed. His hands, usually so gentle, gripped her tightly as he devoured her. The bite of pain sweetened the absolute inferno of desire that threatened to consume her. Wanda clutched at Vision’s head as she fucked herself onto his face until she was coming on him, and he lapped up every bit of her release, dragging his tongue lazily through her folds to collect it as she came down from her high. Vision phased upwards and Wanda would’ve fallen had he not caught her, but he did. He always did. He picked her up while she caught her breath and carried her to her bed, laying her down before phasing off his clothes and joining her. Wanda turned onto her side to face him and he mirrored her. They was only an inch or two of space between them, just as she liked it. She reached down between them and wrapped her fingers around Vision’s cock, enjoying the hard length of it in her palm. He was smooth and warm and so achingly beautiful to her. His breathing became a bit shaky as she slowly stroked him, lips parting with a gasp when she gave a particularly deft twist of her wrist. With his throbbing cock in her hand, she could never doubt his humanity. Wanda leaned into him, pressing him onto his back so she could straddle his hips. Her oversized sleep shirt covered her modesty, not that she cared, but her core was pressed against his length now and she could feel the heat building inside her again. He was hard and thick, desire burning in his eyes and evident in the way his hands traveled her body. She leaned forward to capture him in a heated kiss and she could feel him melting into it, into her. She let herself enjoy the taste of herself in his mouth and the feel of his silky lips. “You’re so human,” she whispered, pulling back a bit to look into his eyes. “You’re a man, Vision, and you’re mine. And one day they’ll understand.” He was listening to her intently, staring at her like she was the center of the universe, a divine being, and it only served to increase her arousal. She couldn’t help but squirm against him. “I’m yours,” he repeated softly, as if testing the concept. “Mine,” she confirmed, nodding, “and I’m gonna make you feel so good.” She nipped at his jawline as her hand slid down between them to grasp his cock and guide it to the dripping heat between her legs. She took him slowly but without pause until he was seated completely inside of her as she sat atop him. “Fuck,” she moaned breathily. He was so goddamn big, stretching and filling her nearly to the point of pain, but she lived for this feeling. She was made to fuck this man. Maybe he’d been made for her. They fit perfectly. “Take it off,” Vision pleaded, hands palming her bare thighs. She smirked and granted him his wish, pulling her shirt over her head and tossing it onto the floor. Vision sucked in a breath when he saw her, and she gave a roll of her hips that had him clutching at her with stiff fingers. He kept his eyes open and fixed on her, though, as if he couldn’t bear to look away. She preened under his appreciative and hungry gaze, pinched her nipples and watched his tongue dart out to moisten his lips. “Fuck me,” he said. “I’m sorry, what was that?” she asked teasingly. “Fuck me,” he said hoarsely. “I still didn’t hear you,” Wanda said, leaning forward and bracing her hands on his torso. He groaned, but didn’t move to take control, letting her do as she pleased. “Fuck me,” he pleaded with her. “Please fuck me, Wanda.” A shiver ran through her at his words, at his desperate need. “Since you asked so nicely, baby.” She gave him what they both wanted. She fucked herself on his cock, slowly at first, enjoying the drag of his rigid length against the walls of her pussy. She was wet enough that he moved easily inside of her, even as big as he was, and they gasped and moaned together as she moved. He flexed his hips with her rhythm, pushing even deeper into her slick channel, making her throw back her head in ecstasy. And when his large hands found her breasts and toyed with the stiff peaks of her nipples, she couldn’t help the words of encouragement that mindlessly fell from her lips. In Sokovian, she cried out yes, and more, and fuck me. Vision took control then, rolling them over until he was on top, driving his cock into her relentlessly. His name was a litany on her lips, her hands grasping for purchase along his back as his muscles bunched and moved under her fingers. She was barely aware of the wet sounds of their coupling or their labored breathing, but she could hear him saying yes, and fuck, and Wanda, and her name had never sounded sweeter. She was needy, riding the high, edging ever closer to the brink but never quite making it, until Vision shifted the angle of his hips and suddenly the pleasure was almost too much. Her entire body went rigid as her pussy clenched around him, pulsing and throbbing and milking his length. Wanda whimpered and whined as she shook apart beneath him, but she still heard him call her name as he came. They held each other as they slowly recovered, Wanda pressing kisses to Vision’s chest and shoulders. He trembled in her embrace but her ministrations slowly steadied him. “Better?” she asked softly when their eyes met. “Better,” he promised, pressing a kiss to her forehead. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent” Chapter Sixty-Eight By Darthelwig ++++ Vision sat still and attentive on the edge of her bed, and she took a moment to admire his naked form. Her eyes traveled the considerable length of him, from his muscular legs to the long-fingered hands braced on his knees, and then over his thick, erect cock and washboard stomach, up to his broad shoulders and the smooth lines of his face. She reached out to trace the lines of vibranium that ran across his arms and chest, and he shivered but otherwise remained still. Waiting to do what she asked. Waiting to please her. “Oh, Vision,” she said as she moved closer, cupping his face in her palms and running her thumbs over the soft plushness of his lips. “You’re so beautiful,” she murmured as she leaned down to press her lips to his. Her hands framed his face, tilted him as she wanted him, while she lazily explored his mouth with hers. He was malleable beneath her fingers, willing to be led, and she thrilled at his submission. She slipped her tongue between his parted lips and reveled in the nearly inaudible moan he let out as they tasted each other. “Wanda,” he whispered when their lips parted, naked longing in his voice and on his face. She smirked as she caressed his face. “What is it, Vis? What do you need?” She already knew but she wanted to hear him say it, needed to hear the words fall from his lips in that soft, silken accent she loved so damn much. “I wish to bring you pleasure,” he said, a definite whine in his voice, even if only she would ever be able to identify it as such. She smiled sweetly and brushed featherlight kisses across his lips. “You wanna make me feel good?” she asked, teasing. “Yes.” His answer was more plea than anything else, and she caressed his face and pressed a quick kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Oh, Vis. I’m gonna let you make me feel so good,” she told him. He shuddered but remained otherwise still, his entire body visibly tense but awaiting her will. Wanda traced her fingers along the buttons on the front of her shirt, smiled as his eyes followed the movement. She popped a button open and watched as the gears in his eyes shifted and turned, focused solely on her. Intoxicated by the sight, she slowly slid the cardigan from her shoulders and let it fall to the floor before tipping his chin up once again to gaze into his eyes. “Undress me,” she instructed. Vision didn’t reply but reached for her with gentle fingers, slowly undoing each button of her shirt. He took his time, knowing how she liked to be touched, until he finally parted her shirt to the sides and bared her lace-covered breasts to his hungry gaze. Wanda shrugged the shirt off, breaking her lover from his trance, and his fingers unerringly found the fastening of her skirt, deftly unzipping it and letting it fall to the floor. The look on his face… He looked at her like she was magnificent, and she basked in his admiration and desire. The heat between her legs pulsed and throbbed, and she could feel herself becoming wet and slick, ready for him. She watched his nostrils flare as he caught the scent of her arousal. Vision cupped her breasts, squeezing the supple flesh and rolling his thumbs over her hardened nipples through the thin lace. She could let him linger there, let him build her pleasure slowly, but the insistent throbbing of her cunt demanded more. She guided his hands down her body, helped him slide one hand over the damp fabric between her legs. His expert fingers worked her through the lace, gliding lightly before applying firm pressure to her clit. She grabbed at his other hand, tangled their fingers together for support as she rocked her hips against him. She came just like that, with his strength holding her steady as the pleasure rolled through her. “Take it off,” she said as she caught her breath. She released his hand so he could pull her soaked panties down, and she kicked them to the side. Vision’s fingers settled gently on her hips, and he looked up at her with lips parted, naked need in his eyes. Wanda stroked her fingers over the Mind Stone glowing softly in his forehead, and Vision shivered, his eyes sliding closed for a moment. Wanda’s breath caught as he opened his eyes again and gazed at her with adoration so obvious that not even her inner demons could deny it. She ran her fingers over his face, tracing the lines and angles of him with gentle caresses. Vision kept still, letting her do as she wished. His hands remained lightly on her hips, undemanding, accepting whatever she chose to give him. God, she wanted to give him everything. He was her Vision, one of the most powerful beings on the planet, guardian and wielder of an Infinity Stone, and completely devoted to her. Wanda leaned down to feather soft kisses over his smooth lips. She felt his fingers twitch where they rested against her and couldn’t help but smile to herself at the break in his control. She settled herself into his lap, straddling him and taking his hard cock in hand. He gasped when her fingers closed around his shaft, and she could feel the shiver that passed through him at her touch. “Wanda,” he said, breathless and soft. She stroked his length slowly, pressed the head of him against her abdomen so she could feel the heat of his desire. Wanda bit her lip and steadied herself with one hand gripping his shoulder as she lifted her hips to bring herself closer until she had his length pressed against her slit. She moaned, sliding her palm along his shaft as she rocked against him. The contact was almost too much for her still sensitive flesh, yet it wasn’t nearly enough to satisfy her longing. “You make me feel so good, Vision. Every time.” He shuddered again at the praise, fingers beginning to dig into her hips a bit painfully, but she relished the feel of it. His fingers had left marks on her in the past and she loved it, loved feeling his touch lingering on her. Even though he tried his best not to mark her, and especially never where others could see, she loved being able to push him past his resolve, relished the power she had to make him lose control. He was so beautiful like this, so hers. She moaned as the head of his cock bumped her clit, sending sparks through her body. It wasn’t enough. She’d wanted to drag this out even further, make him weak, make him beg, but she had an aching emptiness inside of her that needed him to fill it. So, she angled his cock just right, and, on the next rock of her hips, began taking him in. Vision let out a strangled cry before burying his face in her neck. He was shaking, straining, so needy, and she held his head to her shoulder as she worked herself down his shaft. She went slowly, inch by delicious inch, savoring the way he stretched and filled her so perfectly. Vision’s lips pressed against the soft skin of her neck, tongue and teeth following, and though he was obviously struggling for control, he didn’t mark her. They both moaned when he was finally fully seated inside of her. Wanda pressed a kiss to Vision’s head and began to move, a slow, teasing rhythm. Every flex of her hips had her gasping at the feel of his cock moving inside of her, filling her deep, reaching just where she needed him. Vision trembled but he still kept her steady, his hands anchoring her. He left open-mouthed kisses across her shoulders and chest, and she leaned back to give him room to go lower. Her hips missed a beat when he took her nipple between his teeth through the flimsy lace, the pain/pleasure shooting straight between her legs and making her clench on his thick length. Her thin bra wasn’t a barrier as he suckled and tugged on each stiffened bud in turn, lavished attention upon them, and god she loved his fucking mouth. Vision scraped his teeth over one sensitive nipple and she cried out loudly, clutching his head to her breast. Her legs burned with the exertion, but she began to fuck herself on his cock harder and faster, needing more, needing him, needing to come. The strangled, muffled cry that escaped Vision at the change in pace drove her into a frenzy, and she rode him like a wild thing. He moaned against her, and his hands slipped down to her ass, gripping her hard, steadying and guiding the rough movements of her hips. Wanda was aware of it in a distant way, felt the bite of his firm grip, but her mind was empty of everything except the ecstasy of fucking him. She was going to come, she was going to lose her damn mind, but something deep inside her rose up to clear her thoughts enough to realize she wanted him to come with her. “Vis,” she choked out, forcing herself to pause her movements and breathe. Her fingers brushed across his temple. “Please.” He raised his head to look at her, and though he opened his mouth to answer her, all he could do was shakily nod. Wisps of red trailed from Wanda’s fingers, sinking into his skin, and his eyes flashed red as their connection snapped into place. Suddenly she wasn’t just wrapped around him, she was buried inside of herself, and they shuddered as one. She was deep, so deep in his mind, and he in hers. Fuck. They began moving again, in perfect sync, eyes locked on each other. She watched the tiny gears in Vision’s eyes move in circles, her hips automatically matching the rhythm of their turning. What started slow quickly became a rushed, rapid coupling. Wanda panted as she raced towards her peak again, Vision’s cock driving her on. His cock was perfect inside of her, hitting just right, and she was hot and wet around him, gripping his cock tightly, they just needed a little more… She whined as she reached for the edge, desperate to come but just shy of being able to, until she felt Vision become impossibly hard inside of her. Her mind cried out for more, and connected as they were, he responded by increasing his density even further. It hurt but it was heaven, and Wanda was suddenly rushing over the edge, aware of Vision tumbling over it with her, his smooth voice ragged with passion as he cried out her name over and over. Awareness returned slowly, and Wanda found herself with her forehead pressed to Vision’s. His thumbs ran soothing circles over the small of her back as he cradled her. She let herself sink into his perception of her, the softness of her skin under his fingers, the scent of her skin, the way it felt to be inside of her even after they’d come. He made her feel beautiful. She hoped he could see how beautiful he was to her too. “You’re hurting,” he whispered, eyes still closed. “Only a little,” she said, realizing there was a dull ache inside of her where his cock had been. “It’s a good hurt.” Vision grunted noncommittally, but she wasn’t going to leave it at that. “You felt it too. You know how good it was.” Vision looked at her then. “It was amazing,” he said simply, and she smiled. “It was.” She moved to reluctantly sever their connection, but Vision stopped her with a gentle hand on her wrist. “Leave it for now,” he told her. “I like it.” “Me too,” she replied and relaxed in his arms, resting her head on his shoulder. This was the only place she wanted to be, in her beautiful lover’s lap, secure in his arms. She closed her eyes and breathed him in. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent” Chapter Sixty-Nine By Darthelwig ++++ Wanda stood by one of the large glass windows of the residential area of the Avengers compound, staring down onto the lawn where Sam was demonstrating his new drone’s capabilities to Steve and Natasha. Natasha looked unimpressed so far, but Steve seemed encouraging, and Sam was absolutely thrilled. His wide smile had her smiling in return, even from this distance. It was infectious. A familiar hand slid around her throat, gently pressing her back against the hard body behind her. Her heart skipped a beat at being so close to him, so vulnerable. She could sense the strength in his fingers, knew he could snap her neck in a second if he so chose, but also knew he would never do such a thing. His firm touch promised only pleasure with a hint of pain, and she couldn’t help but become helplessly aroused at the thought. She pressed her thighs together and whispered his name. “Vision.” He didn’t respond with words, but pressed his other hand against her stomach as he nuzzled her hair. Pleasurable tingles ran through her at his touch, the growing heat in her belly becoming a blazing fire when she felt his erection press against her. He touched her like he owned her, touched her like he knew that she was his, and he was right, so right. He ground his cock against her, and her body responded like the well-trained girl she was, her core growing wetter and hotter with every shift of his hips. She ached to be filled, to be claimed, to be the one he took his pleasure from and who received pleasure in return. “Such a good girl for me, Wanda. I bet you’re absolutely dripping right now.” His hand traveled lower on her belly, getting closer to where she needed him, but not close enough. His silky voice with that polished accent she loved were enough to make her throb, and she whimpered. His hand closed more firmly around her throat, carefully contained strength making her heart beat faster, harder. God, she could come just like this. She was such a slut for him. She squirmed against him, so needy, but Vision held her tightly until she submitted, her body growing still once more. “Patience is rewarded,” he said. “Can you be patient?” Wanda tried to nod, but he pressed her head back against his shoulder. “Use your words,” he said strictly. “Y-yes,” she said, her voice hoarse from need and the pressure on her throat. “Yes what?” he asked. “I can be patient,” she forced out. “Excellent,” he said, the hand on her stomach now running in slow circles over her clothes, dipping towards the aching hunger between her legs before going back up to just under her breasts. God, he wasn’t even really touching her and she was ready to burst. His lips found her neck, smooth skin pressing against smooth skin. The warmth of him against her back was a comfort and a tease, keeping her hyper aware of his every move. Her hips began to move in time with the slow stroking of his hand over her body, and he let her, chuckling when she leaned against him, her breathing shallow and fast. She closed her eyes and surrendered herself to him, letting herself be in the now, enjoying the sensations he was causing. Her mind grew foggy with desire, so it was a surprise when his hand finally slipped low enough to slide under her skirt. The fabric bunched against his wrist as he moved his hand up and onto her panty-clad mound. The tips of his fingers applied just enough pressure to tease her clit, making her cry out, and Vision’s hand let up on her neck enough to let the sounds she was making come freely. He moaned against her shoulder as he fucked against her, and her knees grew weak at the sound of his voice. She was barely standing on her own now, Vision’s strong arms compensating for her weakness. His fingers slipped under the fabric of her panty and grazed over her swollen clit, and her entire body jerked at the touch. She became a live wire, sparks traveling up her spine and into her fingers and toes, skin buzzing with excitement. And, when he finally sank his fingers into her throbbing cunt, she nearly screamed. He curled his fingers just right, sliding over that spot inside her that he was so good at finding, and he pumped his fingers in and out, her entire body moving in rhythm with his hand. She reached up blindly with one hand to grasp at his head and keep him close while the other pressed against the window to keep her steady. Her eyes opened and focused on the people outside as he fucked her. All they had to do was look up, look up and they’d see her with Vision’s arms around her and his hand working her pussy, skirt barely able to cover up what he was doing to her, all modesty gone as she gladly took what he was giving her. The thought that at any moment someone could turn and see Vision expertly fucking her into oblivion sent a thrill through her, and she could hear the wetness of her cunt against his hand, could feel the heat building within her. She was a bomb waiting to go off, getting closer and closer to an explosion. Vision was working her towards a mind blowing climax, coaxing her to the finish with his tireless fingers. It was his palm against her clit that finally undid her. She couldn’t help the loud cry that escaped her as she came, stars bursting behind her eyes. Vision worked her through it, slowing his touches to drag out her pleasure. His hand was still tight around her throat, and she gulped air past his grip until eventually she had her body under control again. She felt limp and sated, but she could feel Vision’s throbbing cock pressed against her still. She tapped the hand at her throat and he released her immediately, and she turned and sank to her knees before him. Before he could say anything, she had his pants open and her lips wrapped around his cock. She looked up at him as she bobbed her head along his length, and the intensity of his gaze told her everything she needed to know about how affected he was. She twirled her tongue around his cock and felt his hand grip the back of her head, tangling in her long locks. He was trying his best not to hurt her, but she wanted it, wanted him to take his pleasure, so she grabbed his hips and took his cock as deep as she could. Finally, finally, he began to fuck her face, his hands holding her head steady as he did. Wanda relaxed her throat and let him take whatever he wanted, gagging as he drove himself deep, but wanting more and more. He came just like that, cock in her throat, and Wanda moaned at the primal, guttural sounds coming from him. He eventually released her, and she trailed her tongue over the underside of his still-hard cock as she let him slide from her lips. He looked delighted with her, and she preened under his appreciative gaze. “Are you alright?” he asked, and she nodded enthusiastically. She was better than alright. Fuck, she might be too weak to get up, but in the best way possible. Vision chuckled and closed his pants before scooping her up into his arms. She draped her arms around his neck and relaxed into his embrace. “I think I’ve broken you,” he laughed, and Wanda let out a relaxed sigh. “You’ve ruined me for other men,” she agreed. Her voice was even more hoarse now, but she didn’t care. She was perfectly content as she was, and that was all that mattered. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent” Chapter Seventy By darthelwig ++++ Wanda’s palms, slick with sweat, slid along the surface of her desk as she braced herself against the relentless drive of Vision’s cock. She grabbed and clutched the edge, white-knuckled and trembling, barely able to see, to focus. Her body rocked forward with each powerful thrust of her lover’s hips, each plunge of his cock deeper and deeper into her sloppy-wet cunt. His fingers dug into her hips as he pulled her back to meet his every thrust. She was bouncing on his shaft, her desk thudding against the wall as she bumped it helplessly. She ached between her legs, even as wet as she was. It felt like they’d been fucking for hours. Maybe they had. She’d lost track about four orgasms ago. It didn’t matter. Vision didn’t tire, wouldn’t stop until he was certain he’d given her everything she needed, until he’d fucked her out of her mind. He grunted every time he bottomed out in her. Their harsh breathing and their skin slapping together resounded loudly through the room, but she could barely hear it over the pounding of her heart in her ears. Unbelievably, she could feel the start of another orgasm building already. Her breasts hurt where they rubbed and pressed against the desk, and that bite of pain along with the dull ache of Vision’s cock bottoming out in her cunt over and over were pushing her towards the edge yet again. Vision’s name escaped her lips as she approached orgasm, all breath, no voice left to her, but he heard her anyway and slid his fingers between her legs. His fingers slipped along her folds, against her swollen clit. Her thoughts whited out as she orgasmed, breath caught in her chest and body shuddering and twisting in Vision’s grasp. As awareness returned, she realized she was half lying on the desk, Vision’s strong hands the only things holding her up. She tried to get her feet back under her, but couldn’t. Her legs felt like rubber. Vision was still inside of her, but not fucking her, just waiting. She became aware of his ragged breathing and the tremble in his fingers as he held her. He hadn’t come yet, not once, holding himself back with an iron will. She could feel his need, could read it in the way her held her, never mind that his mind was filled with it. She stretched her awareness towards him and felt how close he was. He wanted to fuck into her and finally, finally let go. She reached down with a shaking hand and squeezed the hand he still had between her legs, and he started rubbing her clit in slow circles. The touch was almost too much, but not enough at the same time. Her flesh felt slightly numb at this point, but his touch still sent echoes of pleasure rolling through her. He wasn’t moving his hips, though, being careful of her, but she didn’t want that. She wanted him to fuck her, take her, wrench his pleasure from her body. She had no voice with which to tell him this. She was still breathless and weak, so she sent one thought through their mental link. The only word she could form with her mind moving so slowly. “More,” she sent. Vision let out a hoarse and breathy little laugh before he began to move once again, rocking his hips against her, grinding into her pussy. She was melting on his cock, her body weak but as responsive as always. Vision removed his hand from between her legs so he could steady her with his long fingers digging into her hips, and she took over working her clit. His shaft dragged along the overly sensitive walls of her cunt. He was always a tight fit, but so fucking perfect. She fingered herself mindlessly, becoming lost in the way his cock felt inside of her, sending sparks along her spine. His breath was speeding up, and her hips ached under his grip. Her focus had narrowed to the place where they met, to the sensations he was causing. Her stomach tightened as the feelings built up and up and up. Vision moaned, and the sound made her clench around his length, and that was enough. She felt his cock pulsing inside of her, his mind spilling his pleasure into her through the mental link she hadn’t yet closed off. The orgasm he’d been holding back ripped through her, triggering her own. Their bodies quaked together helplessly until there was nothing left. She felt hollowed out, empty of thought and worry, ready to rest her tired body and mind. Vision placed a soft kiss on her back, rested his head against her, and she could feel him smile. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent” Chapter Seventy-One By Darthelwig ++++ “Fuck, Vision. Yes. Right there…” The team was celebrating their Thanksgiving holiday. She could hear them all the way in her room, even with the door closed. But she couldn’t care less about such an American holiday. No, she wasn’t in the mood for celebrating with them, so she and Vision had left them to the over the top feast Tony had catered. Vision liked the idea of the holiday, but he didn’t eat food, so instead he was having a feast of his own. He’d been between her legs for what felt like hours now, his mouth working it’s own kind of magic on her as he glutted himself on her sex. She’s had orgasm after orgasm, and was sensitive now almost to the point of pain, but she couldn’t stop, was greedy for more. Vision moaned as he fucked her on his tongue, and the guttural sound sent a burst of pleasure through her body. She clumsily plucked at her nipples, pinching hard, the bite of pain making her pussy tingle and throb. The Avengers could keep their silly celebration. She was having a nearly religious experience. Her heart pounded in her chest as yet another orgasm washed over her, triggered by Vision’s tongue spinning circles over her clit. He sucked on it hard as she shook beneath him, then sank his tongue deep into her cunt yet again, devouring her arousal. “Vis, oh God, Vis…” She could hear him working his tongue against her sloppy cunt, could hear the satisfied sounds he was making as he ate her out. Vision showed no signs of stopping anytime soon, and she surrendered herself to his mercy. The ache between her legs was only growing, and some small part of her mind knew she would be hurting later, but the now was filled with him, and his insatiable appetite. She felt his fingers slide inside of her, curling and stroking against her inner walls, and she moaned loud enough to startle herself. She gasped as he found that perfect spot that always blew her mind and didn’t let up. She could feel it building, so quickly, the pleasure cresting into a wave big enough to drown her. The breath caught in her chest as she came, her entire body jerking mindlessly, helplessly. Vision continued his onslaught, and she could barely breathe, barely think. He reached one long-fingered hand up to roughly grab and knead her breast. He rolled her nipple between his fingers, tweaking and pulling and playing her like the maestro he was. And when she came this time, it was with a hoarse scream and fading awareness. The first thing she felt when her senses returned was Vision’s lips on her breast, his tongue flicking against her nipple. He ran his hands over her sweat-slick skin, and her mind lazily tracked his movements as she recovered. “Welcome back,” he murmured as he pressed a kiss to her throat, and she could feel him smile against her as she traced her fingers over the back of his head. His face against her skin was wet with her juices, and when he leaned up to kiss her, her senses were flooded with the taste and smell of her own arousal. She moaned into his mouth, need pooling in her belly once more. She shifted her hips and felt his hard length pressing against her, and her need blossomed into a raging inferno once more. She slipped a hand between them to stroke his cock, hot and heavy against her palm. “Need you,” she breathed against his lips. A quick shift and the thick head of his cock was at her entrance. He sank into her steadily, and she gasped at the stretch as she took him all the way in. He filled her perfectly, and her fuzzy mind briefly thanked Ultron for making it so, before all thought was obliterated by Vision beginning to move. Small, forceful thrusts of his hips had her gasping. Vision had always reached spots inside of her that no other lover ever had. He was, quite literally, made for her pleasure, and she clutched him to her as he began fucking her harder and faster. She was a welcoming vessel for his lust, and he sank himself into her over and over again, racing towards his own finish. Wanda dug her nails into his synthetic skin, pressed open-mouthed kisses to his broad chest and tasted the vibranium. Her soft body accepted his pounding cock, and as the steady rhythm of Vision’s hips finally began to falter, she tumbled over the edge one final time. “I love you… I love you…” She repeated the words breathlessly, desperately needing him to know, to understand. She was full of him, body and soul, and it was the most perfect she had ever felt. “Wanda,” he said, her name wrapped in meaning, the soft tone of his voice speaking volumes. She held him close and thanked the universe for his existence. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent” Chapter Seventy-Two By Darthelwig ++++ A laugh track covered Wanda’s low moan, and her fingers clenched in the tangled sheet underneath her. The room was dark except for the light of the tv playing over her sweat-slick skin. Her knees ached from being on them for so long, even on a soft surface like her bed. She pressed her face into the sheets as Vision’s strong fingers kept her ass positioned in the air, keeping her bare and exposed for him. The position was embarrassing, but there was also something about it that caused a thrill low in her belly. Vision’s tongue lapped at her soft, dripping folds, and she felt her inner muscles clench on nothing. Her pussy ached to be filled and stretched around his thick cock, but so far he had shown no mercy, fucking her on his fingers and tongue but not giving her what she truly desired. She hated him for it. She loved him for it. He hummed against her clit and her knees went weak, his bruising grip all that held her up now as her body raced towards the edge, towards completion. But instead, he pulled all trace of his touch away from her pussy and she nearly screamed at the loss. She whined, writhing against the sheets, straining in his grasp. Her mind was becoming cloudy with desire, with pure need. “Please,” she gasped. “Please.” But instead of answering her plea, he somehow managed to get her knees under her once more, and when she was positioned to his liking, he drove his tongue back into her folds. He teased her hole mercilessly as he devoured her, not letting the pleasure build too much or too quickly. He knew her body better than she did by now, and he used that knowledge to drive her wild. He groaned as he ravished her with lips and tongue, and the sound sent a shockwave of bliss through her. It was sudden and powerful, and almost enough to make her come right then and there. Almost. She sobbed as frustration built within her. Time became meaningless now, as Vision sated himself on her, her awareness narrowed down to the ebb and flow of pleasure coursing through her. She existed in a state of limbo, unable to stop the throbbing need inside of her, but unable to find completion. Vision held her in thrall, and only he could give her release. Vision slid one long finger into her pussy and she bucked against him, seeking more, needing to feel the stretch, needing to be filled. Her pussy throbbed around him, but it was just a tease. One finger wasn’t enough. Nothing but his thick cock would satisfy her body’s hunger. He pumped his finger in and out, building a rhythm she began to follow, her body meeting his every thrust. She was only vaguely aware of the wet sounds they were making as he fucked her with a hand that never tired, never faltered in its rhythm. He added another finger between one thrust and the next, and Wanda moaned loudly as she felt the extra stretch. It was enough to push her forward, towards her completion. She edged ever closer and was nearly there when Vision pulled away once more, leaving her hips bucking helplessly. The frustrated sound she made at the loss of yet another impending orgasm was nearly inhuman. Then Vision’s wet fingers were at her lips, and she let him slide them into her mouth. She sucked the tangy flavor of her own arousal off his skin with a needy little moan. Her tongue swirled around his digits, seeking every last bit of her slick juices. “Good girl, Wanda. You deserve a reward,” he said. The words barely registered in her sex-fogged mind, but she felt the moment he placed the thick head of his cock to her opening. She had a mere second to process that before he buried himself inside her swollen pussy. He filled her so full, stretched her almost painfully before her body began to adjust and welcome him. He didn’t wait, though, just began fucking her with short, rapid thrusts that had her panting and mewling. She couldn’t control the sounds coming out of her mouth or her body’s responses. She could only quake beneath him as she took his cock, as she took the pleasure he was giving her. He fucked her relentlessly, his superhuman endurance and discipline almost a guarantee that he would make her come before he allowed himself the pleasure of giving in. He had kept her on the edge long enough, and her body was primed to explode. The hammering rhythm he set quickly sent her right back to the edge, and then over. The orgasm that rolled over her was like one long tsunami of bliss. Her entire body convulsed and her pussy clenched and pulsed around his shaft. Vision braced both hands on the bed and Wanda collapsed under him without his hands holding her up. His cock slipped out of her, wet and shiny from her juices. She was still shivering with the aftershocks of her orgasm. Vision positioned himself back at her entrance and pushed in, sinking himself to the hilt in one long thrust. Wanda moaned helplessly, unable to do more. Vision fucked her slow this time, slow but hard, bottoming out in her with every thrust. His cock felt so good in her slightly overly sensitive little cunt. The drag of his shaft along her inner walls was delicious, making her shudder. She was molten around him, hot and ready and still riding the frisson’s edge of orgasm. She felt him push harder, deeper, and his cock twitched and throbbed inside her as he came. The sensation of him reaching completion inside her along with her name on his lips was enough to tip her over the edge once more, and she called his name as she lost herself to pleasure again. The next thing she became aware of was the laugh track on the tv once again. She couldn’t remember what sitcom they’d been watching and couldn’t bring herself to move enough to check at the moment. Vision was pressing kisses along her back and shoulders, and she sighed. “Was that good, darling?” he asked. As if he didn’t already know the answer. She just hummed languidly in response, too wrung out to say anything more. His chuckle brought a smile to her lips. This was everything she needed, right here, right now. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Spent” Chapter Seventy-Three By Darthelwig ++++ Wanda pressed her nearly nude body against him and Vision’s mind went blank before slowly registering one word. The word he always thought of when they were like this: soft. She was always so damn soft. She stretched her body along the length of his as he lay in her bed. They’d been together before, had done everything from innocent kisses to not so innocent kisses, groped and fondled and gotten each other off in myriad ways, and had even had penetrative sex. But he still couldn’t help the way his entire being reacted to the sight and feel of her naked flesh. Wanda was the most beautiful human being he had ever seen, body and mind, and she could stop him in a heartbeat without even a hint of her powers. She still wore her panties, small and lacy as they were, they offered little to no protection from his hungry gaze, and wasn’t that exactly what she wanted? She seemed to revel in her power over him, in the way he could lose himself in her. She’d approached the bed in nothing but those damn panties, and he wanted desperately to feel the lace under his fingers, to slide them down her long, smooth legs, to bare her to his gaze completely. This desire, this lust… they’d lost themselves in it multiple times, but it still felt new and wonderful every time she touched him, and every time he got to touch her in return. So he concentrated on his breathing while she stretched her body out next to him, against him, her fingers trailing over his chest, tracing the lines of vibranium where they met his organic skin. Her fingers sent shivers through him as she explored his body with sure but gentle touches. She shifted a bit, one leg sliding over his, bringing her body more flush with his own, the curve of her hip now accentuated, and he couldn’t look away. Regular food intake and training with the Avengers had toned Wanda’s body, but nothing changed how soft she was. She moved her mouth to his chest, pressing kisses to the vibranium, letting her lips and tongue trail over him. Only Wanda understood how sensitive the vibranium running through his body could be. Only she knew how easy it was to have him begging for more of her touch. His fingers twitched as she continued her ministrations, but he kept his hands firmly at his sides, not wanting to interrupt. “Wanda,” he whispered, and watched her lips quirk up into a teasing smile. “You wanna touch me, Vis?” “Always.” She was so much more experienced than him in the ways of intimacy, but still her smile turned slightly bashful before it became teasing once again. Her fingers wrapped around his naked erection, and he sucked in a deep, sudden breath. Her fingers were so soft, everything about her was so soft. His body was hard, made to be sturdy and strong, and Wanda, his perfectly imperfect human lover, was his opposite. But they fit together just right in all the ways that mattered. She slowly stroked his cock, watching his face intently. He could feel the intensity of her gaze as he licked his lips, as his breathing became slightly more labored with every passing moment, with every twist of her slender wrist. She leaned in to kiss him and he moaned. She tasted like heat and desire, like the tea she’d had earlier, and like her. He moaned at the taste of Wanda, the woman he was coming to suspect that he might already love. “I want you,” she whispered against his lips. She moved her hand from his cock, but he didn’t even have time to miss her touch before she was astride him, the hot, wet core of her being pressed against his achingly hard length, with only the thinnest layer of lace separating them. His hips arched upward by reflex and she ground down on him. “Take them off,” Wanda said, her hips still moving, still rubbing her needy pussy against him. With shaky fingers, he gripped the thin fabric at her hips. He tried slipping her underwear down, but Wanda was grinding on him still, not cooperating. Instead she leaned down and whispered. “Now, Vision.” In an instant, he ripped her panties off, the bits of lace tossed to the floor and his hands grasping at her hips, guiding her as she rocked her core along his cock. The slick folds of her pussy felt like heaven, like bliss, like a nirvana he hadn’t believed he could reach. He wanted more, wanted to bury himself inside her. Wanda braced her hands on his chest as she worked herself against him. Her core was dripping wet, soft and slick and hot, and he was lost in the feel of her. She was fucking herself against his shaft, little whimpers escaping her as rode him. He could tell her pleasure was building towards orgasm from the way her hips were moving, fast and hard but beginning to lose their rhythm. Watching her come always made him insanely aroused, and he wanted nothing more in this moment than to watch her come undone, but Wanda had other plans. “Fuck, I’m gonna come,” she said hoarsely, but instead of continuing to chase her orgasm, she reached down between them to grab his cock, and with a quick adjustment to her hips, she was taking him inside. Vision squeezed his eyes closed as he tried not to come. Her inner walls were smooth and soft as he penetrated her, and he could feel the way she stretched around his shaft, felt the shudder that ran through her as she sank down onto him, only stopping when he was fully embedded within her. “Vision,” she said. “Look at me, baby. Come on. Open your eyes.” He obeyed, looking up at her flushed face. She bit her lip and sat back, her slim fingers reaching down to the place where they were joined, teasing both of their sensitive flesh. His eyes followed, and he braced himself up on his elbows to get a better look. The sight of his cock disappearing into her made him throb, and he felt an answering flutter against his shaft. Wanda braced her hands on his shoulders and started to move up and down, and Vision was helpless, unable to tear his gaze away from the sight of her taking his cock over and over. He felt the pulsing of her inner walls almost constantly as she moved, her body primed and on the edge. Without thinking, he shifted enough to free one hand to reach between them and pressed his thumb to her clit. He rolled his thumb over it once, twice… and that was all it took to push her over the edge she’d been teetering on. She collapsed against him as her body twitched and shook, her pussy milking his cock as she came. He was close, so close. Her voice crying out his name had him throbbing, and he gripped her hip and thrust up into her silky pussy. He pulled her against him with every thrust, going as deep as he could, and he was so engrossed in the feel of her that it took a while for it to register in his mind that she was speaking. “Fuck me. Fuck me,” she repeated again and again as he did just that. He fucked up into her heat and softness, his fingers digging into the flesh of her hip to keep her where he wanted her. Wanda was moaning encouragement. She pushed herself up and lifted her breast in offering, and his lips wrapped around her hardened nipple. He suckled at her hungrily, and Wanda was suddenly coming again, her body fluttering and clenching around his thick cock. The feel of her coming on him once again shattered what little control he had left, pushing him over the edge. His cock throbbed as he came inside her, with her. His awareness narrowed down to the feel of her on top of him, every inch of his hard body keenly aware of her softness pressed against it. Her kisses brought his awareness slowly back, her soft lips brushing over his. “You with me?” she murmured. He ran his hands over her smooth back, soothing both of them, and when he opened his eyes he was met with Wanda’s somewhat shy gaze. He found it charming, if somewhat telling, that her reaction to any softness between them was always like this. Even though she was a telepath, completely capable of reading him like a book and having done so many times by this point, with his blessing, she still experienced insecurity. “I am with you, Wanda,” he replied, then he kissed her back, pouring everything he felt in that moment into the kiss.
11282016	Evil Supercomputers and	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": null, "Characters": "Michael Mell, Rich Goranski, Jeremy Heere, Jake Dillinger, Christine Canigula", "Fandom": "Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by milesawayfromthevoid", "chapters": "6/?", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-23T00:00:00", "words": "14,000", "Additional Tags": "Probably more characters on the way, Trans Michael, Trans Rich, Trans Christine, All Ur Faves Are Trans, First few Chaps are probs gonna be Michael-focused tbh, Also the world needs more Christine Canigula and I'm here to deliver, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Behind the Scenes, really slow burn, P much mostly bonding & friendship till \"voices in my head\", Jeremy is a digital dingus but dw he's gonna snap out of it soon, I swear I love Jeremy but I need to show that he's being affected by the Squip you know?", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "Rich Goranski/Michael Mell, Jeremy Heere & Michael Mell, Christine Canigula/Jeremy Heere, Jake Dillinger & Rich Goranski", "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": "M/M, F/M", "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	When Michael rolled out of bed that Monday, two days after the party, he was tempted to just stay home. He pretty much just stayed in bed the day before, aside from changing in and out of a binder, grabbing a bowl of instant soup and reassuring his parents he was fine. He hadn’t missed too many days of school so far, and considered “best and only friend brutally crushing heart with a ghost of a lingering hangover” a reasonable excuse to call in sick. After a cursory glance to his backpack and the neglected textbook peeking out of it, he groaned. Right, History test today. His teacher was unfairly strict when it came to missing tests and, while he wasn’t exactly floundering, he really didn’t feel like getting a zero just because Jeremy decided to be a digital prick. Luckily for him, the period fell right before lunch and he had no qualms about missing Math or English, the only two classes afterwards. Besides, now that his best -- ex-best friend was off replacing him with someone “cooler”, probably someone who had newer taste in music and fashion and who didn’t know how Jeremy liked his pizza and wouldn’t stay up till three in the morning sending each other the same meme over and over and who didn’t cry in the bathroom when their best friend called them a loser because he’d never have felt what it’s like to be a loser and crap, his eyes were starting to get misty again. Miserable, he forced himself to take some deep breaths, heading to the bathroom to splash water on his face. Focus on History, not your history, he told himself. You can skip after the test. Pull all the stops at Seven-Eleven; sushi, Slushie, and more. He combed his hair, brushed his teeth, wiped his glasses, all those little details that he normally wasn’t so meticulous about. With one last glance to the mirror, he straightened his hoodie and gave a little, somewhat forced, smile. And if Jeremy sees you before you go, maybe he’ll realize just how much he’s missing out on. ~ Jeremy did not, apparently, see him before he went, nor did he realize just how much he was missing out on. The universe must have decided it hated Michael Mell because not only did it flaunt a cool, collected, and crappily dressed Jeremy Heere right in front of his face every time he turned a corner, it was like Michael didn’t even exist to him. No glances, no “excuse me” as he brushed past him a few times, fuck, he didn’t even have the decency to look down and avoid his gaze! He just stared through him like...well, like Michael didn’t even exist, all the while chatting with Jake Dillinger or Dustin Kropp or whoever it happened to be on this round of “Michael’s Personal Hell.” Even Jake, who had barely acknowledged his existence beyond “that headphone’s kid who Rich occasionally tormented alongside Jeremy,” who was in crutches and looked his he hadn’t slept since that Saturday, had stopped to see if he was okay after a particularly brisk Jeremy knocked the books out of his hands and continued to his Chem class. “Sorry, dude,” he said, sincerely enough. “You’re kinda easy to miss.” Michael had to pat himself on the back for how he was handling this entire situation, though. If Jeremy was doing this to torment him, Michael wasn’t giving him the reaction he probably hoped for. Aside from the occasional side-glances to see if anything changed, and maybe a bit of misty eyes when Jake turned to him but his ex-best friend of twelve years didn’t, he was great! Just as stony! Totally not on the verge of tears! Totally not counting down the minutes until he could just take that stupid test and waltz out of there for a mourning Slushie and a few rounds of a retro game. Something Jeremy never touched. Maybe Space Invaders, they only played it once together and quit because Jeremy wanted to play PacMan. Good plan. Great plan. Nice work, Mell.When History class finally started, the test passed by a bit too quickly. He was able to pull up the answers easily enough at first, but towards the end his mind wandered back to the bathroom, and focusing on world history as opposed to his own history became a challenge. "It’s...off," he could almost hear Jeremy say, and he had to shake his head. Multiple choice, Mell, he told himself. Focus. Only fifteen minutes left till you can go. Now, is it A or D?"And here I thought Chloe was jealous."Mortified, he saw wet spots appear on the paper beneath him. He rubbed his eyes viciously, wracking his brain for the name of the guy who invented the printing press and pushing his emotions to the corner. "Move it." Thankfully, there were only two long-answer questions instead of the usual three. He didn’t really focus on what he was writing, just reciting the Renaissance facts he could remember over the drone of his best friend abandoning him. His breath was hitching and he felt a familiar soreness in his ribs. Shit, could something go right for him today? "Get out of my way. Loser."He almost didn’t finish the last question and had to hurriedly continue writing as he was handing it in, much to the displeasure of Ms. Duke. He hoped she’d take pity on his hunched shoulders and pitifully red, puffy eyes, but he ended up getting the “pace yourself, don’t dwell on questions you don’t know for too long, in college you finish when it’s pencils down” speech anyway. He nodded through it, sweeping his pencils into his bag and trying to just make a beeline for the bathroom, get out of his binder and ditch this cursed school. ~ Here’s the thing about Michael’s binder: second to his hoodie, it was the most comforting article of clothing he owned. He didn’t always wear it, but when he did he felt safe. His dysphoria would ebb away somewhat as his boobs would virtually disappear under his hoodie. It was like getting a hug that simultaneously hid your least favourite body parts. Sure, he had days where he felt good with his chest, where he didn’t really feel like binding was necessary, but when he did wear the binder, he just felt secure. Taking it off was always unpleasant, making him feel visible in ways he wasn’t comfortable with. He could breathe a little easier with a sports bra, but there was still a weight in his chest and a tightness in his throat as he picked up a few books from his locker and made his way to the main office. The only good thing that came out of this nightmare day was that he as able to channel that discomfort and the prior emotional distress into a believable flu-related excuse for the secretary, who let him go home after a quick call to his parents. He couldn’t climb into his car fast enough, the familiar aroma of weed and pine-scented air-fresheners grounding him until he could reach the concrete safe haven of Seven-Eleven. The promise of a sweet, icy, blue raspberry and cherry Slushie was enough to lift his spirits. As he pulled to a stop in the parking lot of the convenience store, though, he had to take a minute to just breathe and dislodge the familiar tightness in his throat. As he fished for his wallet, his eyes started to sting and he forced his mind to go to happier places.“I got this,” he muttered to himself, while his vision became blurry and his wallet was still nowhere to be found. “Things are going to get better. What’s one and a half more years of high school without him? Nothing, that’s what! It’s not like he was my rock where everyone else basically ignored me or actively avoided me! It’s not like he was the only person to show me kindness! It’s not like now I’m all alone in this shitty school and...crap, fuck, stop crying.”He shoved his glasses up, pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes and just focusing on breathing. Crap, this was pathetic. Shame at his behaviour and anger that this was affecting him so much bubbled to the surface, mixing in with the sadness and rooting him to his car. At this point, he wasn’t even sure a Slushie, the ambrosia of the gods and fixer of all sorrows, would help things. He was overwhelmed with the want to just drive home, curl up and get stoned off his ass and pass out for the night. Wallowing in self-pity wasn’t ideal, but nothing else was working at this point and he didn’t want to stay miserable forever. He heard somewhere that feeling shit and letting it go was easier than bottling it up and trying to fight it off. With this new plan in mind, he switched the ignition on and shifted into reverse. Just as he was about to back out, though, he was startled by his phone buzzing repeatedly in his hoodie pocket. It was enough to knock him out of his bubble of loneliness. He considered ignoring it, but the possibility of it being important compelled him to put the car back in park. When he checked it, though, he noticed that the number wasn’t his mom’s, as he’d been expecting, or Jeremy’s, as he’s been hoping. In fact, he didn’t recognize it at all, save for the local area code. He was suspicious, but curiosity and a twinge of dread won over in the end. He swiped the green button and picked up. “Hello?” he croaked, then promptly winced. He cleared his throat quickly and tried again. “Uh, hi?” “Uh, hey! You’re the kid who hangs out with Jeremy all the time, right?” the voice was strained, and it echoed slightly, like the person calling was were on speaker. Michael could make out beeps and hums in the background. “Michael, actually. Who is this?” Michael didn’t bother to correct about Jeremy, more unnerved by whoever was calling. “Oh! Shit, right, sorry I probably freaked you out. This is Rich? You know, from school?” “Rich? Are you okay? I heard you’re in the hospital.” “I’m okay for now, but my pain meds are wearing off and it’s really not fun. In fact they’re kinda getting weaker, which is why I’m calling you.” Michael leaned back into his seat, turning off the ignition. Confusion and suspicion arose, but he decided to continue on with the conversation anyway. “Uh, can I ask why?” “Sure, no problem, but first off, sorry for being a colossal prick and treating you like human garbage. I promise I can explain why later, but it was still shitty of me and I’m sorry, you didn’t deserve that.” “Uh, okay? It’s -- ” Michael started, confused and wary, but was cut off by a pained sound from Rich. “Dude, seriously, if you’re not okay maybe we can talk later?”“Sorry, I’m sorry, just -- I heard about this hook-up at the mall you had the other day --” “Look, if this is about the Squip, you can forget about it,” Michael snapped. He wasn’t expecting it, but the thought of his high school tormenter trying to bring up the pill-sized friendship destroyer turned his sad shitty mood into a pissed shitty mood. “No!” The answer was quick and loud. “Well, sorta, but not in the way you think, I swear! I heard you buy old soda there, is that true?” Still a bit defensive, but intrigued, Michael gave a casual, “Yeah, and?” “Do you know if they sell Mountain Dew Red? The one from the nineties, not the Code Red stuff.” “Yeah, I think I saw a few bottles left last time, why?” “Oh, thank -- shit, fuck! Okay, listen, can you please do me a favour, get a bottle and bring it to Beth Israel ICU, okay? Ask for me, I’m allowed visitors. I promise I’ll pay you back every cent the soda’s worth and explain everything after, just please do this for me.” Michael thought about it. If Rich asked this of him a few days ago, he’d think he was being set up for a prank. Somehow, it would end up biting him in the ass. But he sounded honestly, frighteningly desperate, and Michael didn’t feel great about leaving people in trouble hanging. Besides, at least his budding curiosity at the situation would help him take his mind off of his current, friendless life. He reached for the ignition again, switching it on. “Yeah, sure. See you later.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- The guy at Spencer’s was more than happy to part with the remaining bottles of Mountain Dew Red. With the newer popularity of Code Red, the last few bottles weren’t selling as much as the latest shipment of Crystal Pepsi. Even Michael had to admit, he’d rather save a few bucks for the Pepsi than shell it out for a soda with a reasonably similar, much less pricy counterpart. Still, there are worse things to buy than vintage soda, and if Rich is somehow going to bully him from a hospital bed, at least he’d have something to wash the humiliation down with later. Speaking of the recent arsonist, he wasn’t looking so… well, hot (I can’t believe I’m sinking to puns for humour, Michael thought mournfully. Also, time and place, Michael.). Admittedly, Rich looked better than the rumours let on -- the worst of which included a melted head, body bags, fleeing to the forest to hang out with the Jersey Devil due to his horrific scars, etc. -- but in addition to the full body cast, multiple wires and monitors, and IV drips, he looked like he hadn’t slept in weeks and he was a lot paler than usual. Dimly, Michael could remember noticing that Rich didn’t look so great at the party either, and that looked much more twitchy and panicked than a guy holding a solo cup normally did. Rich, at the moment that Michael entered, was staring off to a blank spot on the wall, non-casted fingers twitching around a blue button. His face was carefully blank, but fear was present in his eyes and his lips were caught between his teeth. Jesus, Michael thought. What the hell happened to him? Michael coughed to get his attention, and Rich snapped his head towards him. His face melted into relief, and Michael’s confusion grew even more. “Michael! Hey!” Rich said, voice a touch too loud to be natural. He kept glancing frantically to the Spencer’s Gifts bag. “Have a seat!” He jerked his chin towards the chair next to his bed. Michael did so, scooting the chair a bit closer. He noticed that the room was awfully empty, considering that Rich had already been here for a day and a half. The only thing that didn’t seem to belong to the hospital was his phone, which seemed to have been damaged by the fire. Michael expected more, since Rich seemed to be in here for at least a week or two. While looking around, he eyed the chart across from his bed. Nutrition monitored -- Small meals, 6x/day. Limit fluids between meals was written in the “Dietary Restrictions” column. Rich followed his gaze and winced. “So...soda, huh?” Rich took a steadying breath. “I wouldn’t ask for this if it wasn’t important. .” “Just -- look, dude, this seems pretty sketchy to me,” Michael said. “You call me out of nowhere, you ask me for out-of-date soda, which like, not even sure you’re allowed to be drinking that while recovering in the hospital, and I’m not supposed to question it because it’s ‘important’? What the hell is actually going on here? And how is it related to the Squip?” “Okay, okay, just -- check the door, make sure there isn’t anybody there. This isn’t something I want others overhearing.” Michael followed his instructions, then sat back down and leaned in close. “Well?” He asked, exasperated. “This is … gonna be difficult to say. As in, I’m not sure how much I can say before it stops me. I’m sorry that I’ve been acting so shitty to you for the past year or so, it basically told me that you and Jeremy were easy targets and in order to be cooler I needed to pick on you sometimes. I shouldn’t have listened, though, and I’m sorry for what I’ve done. And I’ve had it! I thought it was impossible, but right now, I’m trying to -- ” After this steady, if a bit rushed, stream of words, Rich’s jaw clamped shut and his gaze flickering back to that blank spot on the wall. Michael’s mind supplied a similar look that happened barely two weeks ago. "Jeremy? Why are you standing there all creepy and stuff?" “Is,” Michael started slowly, catching Rich’s attention again. “Is ‘it’ the Squip?” Rich gave a quick, tense nod. His fingers, previously fluttering on the blue button on the side of his bed, pressed down quickly and he relaxed somewhat. “So… if green Mountain Dew turns it on, red shuts it off?” Michael reached inside the bag, producing the bottle of soda. Rich was quiet and unfocused for awhile, seeming to be regaining his bearings. “Yeah,” he eventually said. His words came out a bit more slurred and slow. “Alcohol, pain meds, stuff like that, it scrambles it for awhile, but Mountain Dew Red is the only way to really get turn it off. My Squip tried to cover it, but I remember talking to the guy who recommended it to me.”“And you’re sure it’s really that simple? I heard from a guy I know that his brother went crazy trying to get it out. What if it’s just tricking you?” “At this point, I’ll try anything. I guess it makes sense? ‘Cause it’s discontinued and stuff. Plus, getting the soda didn’t seem so simple, since nobody’s sold it since the nineties. I’m lucky that you knew that guy, otherwise I’d have no idea where to look for it before it started taking over again.” Michael set the soda down on the nightstand, the two of them staring at it for a minute. Michael considered taking a swig to see if it was still good, despite it’s expiration date, but thought better of it. He had expired soda all the time and nothing bad happened, and besides, if he happened to be sick, he didn’t want to transfer it to Rich, who was already in bad shape. Still… “It’s like, safe, right?” Michael asked. “Like, turning it off? It’s not going to cause any internal bleeding or something?”“I mean, it should be safe,” Rich’s said, tone uncertain and eyes still on the bottle. “I mean, it hurt like hell for a minute when I turned it on, but if this is how the developers meant to turn it off, then it shouldn’t be too different. Worse comes to worse, at least I’m already in the hospital?” “Yeah, true,” Michael said. “Well, uh...do you need help drinking?” “Yeah, just like, hold the bottle up. It probably shouldn’t take too much of the Mountain Dew to get rid of it. Just like, hurry, I don’t know how quick it’ll work through my pain meds and it isn’t exactly fond of this plan. Oh, and don’t spill it. I really don’t want to deal with soda in my cast.” Michael rolled his eyes at the obvious request, lifting the bottle to Rich’s lips and tipping it slightly. When he pulled the bottle away, Rich swallowed, and both boys waiting in anticipation for a reaction. “...well?” Michael asked. “Do you feel any different?” Rich furrowed his brows. “Not really, just kinda --” He didn’t end up finishing that thought, instead pulling his head back as far as it would go in the cast and screaming. His fingers clenched tightly around the plaster of the cast, eyes screwed shut against what seemed to be immense pain in his head. Panicking, Michael ran around the bed and pressed the nurse call button, ready to bolt to the front desk if they didn’t show up immediately. Within a moment, though, Rich fell silent, slumping in his bed. Michael cautiously stepped forward, pressing his fingers to Rich’s neck. Fortunately, he had a pulse. Unfortunately, he didn’t seem to be waking up anytime soon. ~Two nurses arrived shortly after, finding Michael in a panicked state. While one checked Rich’s vitals, the other tried to calm him down and ask what had happened. The most Michael could give was a stammered response about the Mountain Dew, how he was scared for the state of Rich’s brain, do you have to do a scan or something, and eventually the nurse asked him to wait outside while they called the doctor, promising to keep him posted about what happened. In the meantime, Michael worried. He wasn’t exactly close to Rich, if the last year or so of teasing and occasional property defacement were anything to go on, but that didn’t mean he wanted him to die or anything, especially not if it was his fault. He started to panic as images of funerals and permanent vegetative states flooded his brain, fueling him with anxiety and dread as forty minutes crawled by without any word from the doctor or nurses. When the doctor finally came out, Michael took it as a good sign that she didn’t look upset or worried. Instead, she looked calm, naturally calm, not “I have grave news but I need to stay collected for the patient’s sake” calm. The type of calm that Michael most certainly was not right now. “The nurse said that you mentioned a potential brain injury, and we were able to check his motor, eye and verbal responses about five minutes ago, when he woke up. He wasn’t quite lucid, but he seems to be alright for now. We’re going to monitor him for the rest of today. We might have to perform a CT scan on him if he doesn’t improve, but it doesn’t look likely.” She glanced down to her clipboard, furrowed her brows, then looked back up at Michael. “You said that he drank that soda before he had that episode, right?” “Yeah,” Michael answered. “The Mountain Dew. Is it, like, interfering with anything or something?”“We’re...not really sure. I’ve checked his allergies and his list of medications, neither of which indicate the reaction that he’s had. We’ve taken a blood sample of his to the lab, and we should get an answer in an hour or so. I noticed that the soda was out-of-date, though, which may explain something.” She looked at Michael, not unkindly but definitely expecting an answer to the unspoken “why.” Michael shifted under her gaze. “I’m sorry, I should have checked before. He, uh, mentioned craving some when he called me, and I drink it all the time, usually it isn’t really a problem…”The doctor placed a dark, comforting hand on his shoulder. “I understand, you didn’t want to hurt your friend. Hopefully, if the blood test and monitoring go well, it’ll turn out to be nothing. Still, for future reference, he’s going to have to lay off the soda until he leaves the ICU, alright? Stick to the dietitian's orders.” Michael nodded, not mentioning that before the Mountain Dew Incident, he intended for it to be a one-off visit. She seemed satisfied by this, and offered to have someone call him tomorrow during his lunch break to inform him about Rich’s condition. Michael accepted, leaving his number at the front desk. Maybe he just felt bad due to the emptiness in his room, for his role in his current state, or just felt sorry for Rich in general. Maybe he just missed talking to someone. Maybe he didn’t want to just keep thinking about Jeremy anymore. In any case, he figured he’d visit again tomorrow, just to check up on him. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- By the time Michael got home, it was barely three in the afternoon, although it felt like it was much later. The nervous energy that consumed him at the hospital had worn off by the time he pulled into the driveway, so the first thing he did was heat up some leftover mac and cheese from the night before, grab a bag of chips and can of Crystal Pepsi from the garage, and head down to the basement. He set his late lunch onto the desk, pushing aside his heavy laptop and the plethora of scrawled Post-Its to make room. Before the party, he had spent hours after school scouring forums, messaging boards, Japanese tech articles, anything that might have a shred of information on the Squip. He had only managed to get hearsay, rumours, scraps of tangential or anecdotal evidence that basically amounted to “Squips might exist.” The closest he had gotten was that friend he played Warcraft with, who wasn’t able to say much else on his brother than what he relayed to Jeremy. Michael made a note to pass along the information about the Mountain Dew Red next time he was online, although it wasn’t as often as it used to be. He closed the other windows and pulled up a folder full of retro movies. He scrolled through the list a few times, eventually settling on the first one. He idly thumbed the Post-Its within reach, mulling over whether he should just throw them out while the film played out softly in the background, the opening scene trying in vain to catch his wandering mind. After a minute of mental debate, he just stacked them up, smoothing the adhesive bits over each other, and shoving them into a desk drawer. He ate and watched restlessly, unable to appreciate the movie like he usually did with everything that happened that day on his mind. Eventually, he gave up with a groan, slumping into the comfortably worn old couch and setting up his Namcom collection. Trading his troubled thoughts with hand-eye coordination with Space Invaders was easy, although the restless feeling in his chest remained, and before he knew it the sun had set and he heard his parents coming in. He turned off the game and went upstairs to help set up dinner. ~ Dinner was blessedly uneventful. His parents didn’t comment much on Jeremy’s absence or his sour mood, although he could tell it was on their minds. He was able to wave both off as his recent “stomach flu,” and thankfully switch the conversation to his mother’s coworker from Hell. As he was helping to clear the dishes later on, he felt the telltale buzz of his phone in his hoodie pocket. After placing the plates under the running tap water, he checked his messages. For a half-second, a twinge of hope re-surfaced. Maybe it was Jeremy, asking for helping, pleading an apology, or just saying something. Instead, it was from that now recognizable string of numbers. Rich. The notification cut the message down the middle, but Michael felt relief when he saw that it seemed pretty upbeat, containing a “hey!!” and “I’m doing fine” as opposed to an “I’ve died from brain hemorrhaging and it’s your fault, seriously what’s your damage, messing with freaky science-fiction technology while I’m lying prone in the ICU.” He unlocked his phone to check out the message in it’s entirety, feeling the little ball of nerves building up in his chest unwind and release him from it’s clammy, panicky grip as he read over the message. (551…): Hey!! Rich again! Just wanted to say hi & also I’m doing fine (they just let me have my phone privileges back now lmao) Thanks for helping me out, idk if I would’ve had another chance to get rid of it. But yeah, thank you so so much for bringing the Dew, w/o it I’d probs be mega dead??? Michael decided to make Rich a contact while he thought over a reply. How do you respond to freeing a guy who used to pick on you from a Tic-Tac sized supercomputer? After a minute, he tapped out a text he felt adequately satisfied with. (Me): hey dude! i’m really glad to hear that, i was worried you were a goner for a sec! seriously don’t even mention it, you looked and sounded like you needed the help. speaking of, how are you doing? Rich was taking his time with the reply, so he pocketed the phone again and began loading the dishwasher. His mom had caught him typing, though, and asked, “Were you talking to Jeremy?” “Uh, no,” he said, keeping his eyes on the cutlery compartment. “It was someone in my English class. He was asking me about our essay.” She hummed thoughtfully, and when Michael glanced back he noticed she was staring at him as she stacked the tupperwares full of leftovers into the fridge. “Is everything good between you two?”“Yeah,” he lied. “Everything is fine, why?”“It’s just,” she seemed to be choosing her words carefully. “You didn’t talk about him as much as you normally do, and when you spent the whole day in your room on Sunday…Your dad and I wanted to know, did something happen on Saturday?”There was a fearful moment when he thought she knew about the party, but then remembered his alibi for the night. Going to see a movie with Jeremy. Right. “We…” he started. Oh fuck it. Might as well tell as close to the truth as possible. “He seemed distant lately, so after the movie I kinda confronted him about it and it...didn’t end well.”His mom gave him a sympathetic look, pulling him into a hug. “Oh, Michael. Don’t worry, I’m sure you two can fix things. He’s probably just got things on his mind.”Yeah, he does have things on his mind, he thought bitterly, but it’s gonna be hard to fix things when he literally ignores my existence. “Yeah,” he ended up saying, trying not to sound bitter. “Yeah, we probably will. Thanks, mom.” ~Rich’s reply eventually came after he and his mother finished up the dishes, while he was willing himself to focus on his Chem homework. It was a welcome break; he was stuck on the wording of one question, which seemed to imply one formula but employed a different one in the answer key, and he was close to just giving up and switching to his Physics homework. Instead, he pulled up his phone. (Rich): Sorry late reply, it’s super hard to type rn & the dinner came & wow is that slow when you’re unable to properly move your arms. I’m doing….okay?? Like the world hasn’t ended like IT said it would & my brain doesn’t feel like it’s being sawed in half anymore, so there’s that @ least? Still it’s. Weird. Idk like imagine a part of yourself just disappearing. I’m a little freaked tbh, not sure what happens now that its gone Michael put down his pencil, turning his focus entirely to the conversation. (Me): shit, dude, i can’t even imagine, sorry you’re going through that While waiting for a reply, Michael just set aside his Chem homework. Might as well go to the tutorial during lunch tomorrow, maybe his teacher messed up in the answer key. Thankfully, he didn’t have to wait too long this time. (Rich): Don’t be, tbh like...hindsight, I shouldn’t have taken it in the first place. Besides, it was malfunctioning anyway. Just. New feeling, you know? (Me): here’s hoping it’s for the best. (Me): also, malfunctioning? is it cool if i ask what you mean? (Rich): Yeah, same here. Uhh sure, no prob. It was just like...like, about this summer-ish, it started being more...like ok this is hard to explain, but it sounded like it was wasn’t focusing on the situation @ hand. (Rich): Like it would be suggesting rlly out there stuff or it would start mentioning names of kids @ our school who I don’t really talk to like I usually do? (Rich): Like it would be all “tell Kyle you’ll meet him for lunch tomorrow” and I’d be all “uh?? I have not spoken to Kyle outside of Drama wtaf?” (Rich): But that was like, ok w/e I could live with the bugs. Where it got really bad was when it started to take control of my body for like 0 reason. (Rich): Like, before it would be like, “you’re floundering, I’m gonna talk thru you” & it sucked & was really not fun but @ least there was a point, you know?? But there were a few times where it would just like grab control of my body while like, walking or smthng & it was really weird. So like a week ago, a few days after Jeremy hooks me up to his squid & I get even more imput I’m like, ok this isn’t happening anymore, how do I fix? (Rich): Squip sorry I’m relying on autocorrect & apparently it “doesn’t exist” ;/ (Rich): (If I could move my hands more, I’d be doing heavy quotation fingers rn) (Rich): & I started asking around, but it got like, super defensive & started to fuck with my train of thought I think? Like I legit don’t remember the entirety of last Friday after 3rd period, afaik it would legit derail me every time I thought about getting rid of it. I ended getting shitfaced Sat morning & calling the guy who recommended it to me in the first place & (Rich): It really really really really did not like that I knew that, bc the party was basically me vs the squip for control of my body. Idk if anyone told you but it was not pretty haha (Me): geez, that sounds fucking awful. also i was at the party for a bit but i left early and didn’t hear much on it today (Rich): Oh srsly?? I figured it was the talk of the school, Jenna made like, 500 tweets about it (Me): to be fair i don’t have a twitter (Me): & also i skipped school at lunch lmao (Rich): Ahh k, so you’re not a Reliable Source™ (Me): sorry to disappoint haha. maybe jake would be able to give you a feel for the school gossip? The pause after this message was longer than the others. Michael anticipated a longer paragraph as a response, but after viewing what he had received he knew he must have touched a sensitive issue. (Rich): Uhh probably not tbh I dont think he wants 2 talk 2 me rn seeing as I burned down his house (Me): oh fuck right. sorry dude (Rich): W/e, you didn’t do anything. Just like, i fucked up my best friends house & life probably. How the fuck do I make up for that? (Me): maybe you can talk to him? i’m sure he’d listen to you (Rich): Yeah I just (Rich): I’m really scared about how he’s gonna react? Like I deserve it but I just don’t want to lose him, you know? He’s been my only friend through high school (Me): if it helps, he doesn’t seem that angry, mostly just worried and lonely and stuff (Me): plus he's talking to jeremy and wasn't there something between him and chloe or whatever? & you were a lot closer to him than jeremy (Rich): I’d have to check with Jenna, I don't remember a lot about that thing w Chloe (Rich): Still, there's a huge diff btw what I did & what he did (Me): idk i’m just saying give it a shot. i can't speak for jake but maybe it’ll help (Me): worse comes to worse you’ll be able to give him closure (Rich): Thanks. You’re right I'll give him time for now (Rich): Hbu u & Jeremy? Michael had expected the question, but he still hadn’t formed a decent answer. For a brief moment of weakness, he half-considered giving Rich the whole, sad truth, how Jeremy had sailed off to bigger and better places and left Michael stranded. How he skipped school that day because he was so pathetically upset that he couldn’t stand being in the same building as him, and only ended up going because he wouldn’t be able to retake a stupid test without something like a doctor's note for the plague. How he was so alone right now that he was turning to the guy who teased him endlessly during Sophomore year just because he was the only person who’d give him the time of day.Then he remembered that he didn’t owe Rich any of that info, considering they only really started to talk six hours ago, and telling him wouldn’t give him any social points. He settled for brevity. (Me): yeah that’s not happening anymore (Rich): Wym?? U guys were like 2 nerds in a pod?? (Me): haha >:I (Me): but yeah, basically squip > me (Rich): Oh shit, sorry (Me): don’t be. he’s happy, i dont give a shit (Rich): Well, if you wanna talk about it? (Me): thanks but not much else to say (Rich): Ok (Rich): Sorry I brought it up, if you want we can talk about something else? A beat. Did Michael want to keep talking? He glanced at his abandoned homework, his empty notifications bar, his quieter than usual room, then gave a resigned sigh. Why not? (Me): sure (Me): are you excited for the new star wars movie? (Rich): Hell yes!!! It looks so sick!!!! (Rich): Tbh I never really saw the first few movies so when I first heard about this one I was like hmm bc tbh the fandom kinda seems intense & also the last few movies were ehhhhokay, but when I saw the trailers I was like “!!! this looks rad!!!!” (Me): you never saw the original trilogy what?? (Rich): Nah never really got the chance? Like when I eventually grew old enough to get tired of Disney I was into whatever was playing @ the time & my dad was never into the SW series, & it seems long & complicated? @ least taking the newer ones into account (Me): ok ok i swear they’re actually really really good, the newer ones are a bad comparison to the originals (Me): like apples & oranges honestly, if apples were meaningfully well-written and produced films and oranges were badly-written cash-ins (Rich): Oh ok so what’s it about? (Rich): All I know is that it takes place in the future-past of space and there’re rad light-swords & a princess with hair buns & a green Muppet dude & a robo-dad (Me): sorta! the premise is that it’s a different galaxy than our own, which i guess perfected space travel & established trade & stuff (Me): (also i talk a lot about star wars so stop me if i start to rant) (Me): but the problem is that the galaxy is under the thumb of this oppressive empire & there’s a faction that’s trying to beat it (Me): which is where Princess Leia (hair buns) comes in (Rich): Whoa, capitalization, sounds important (Me): she actually really is & she’s super cool! (Me): you said you saw the prequels right? do you mind if i talk more about her? (Rich): Yeah, and nah I don’t mind (Me): ok so here’s her deal, from prequels to originals Michael spent the rest of the night talking with Rich about Star Wars with as little spoilers as possible, then the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek, then video games (Rich was into more modern first player shooters as opposed to Michael’s preference of retro games, although he seemed really interested in Apocalypse of the Damned), then podcasts, then Rich’s desire to make podcasts, then joking about potential podcast ideas, then just talking about school. It was so good to talk to someone else about things other than Squips that he forgot who he was talking to. It only really occurred to him halfway through that this Squipless Rich Goranski might be someone he wanted to get to know better.By the time that ten o’clock rolled around and Rich had to say goodbye to avoid getting chewed out by the nurses, Michael felt lighter than he had in awhile. The twisting worry he felt while Jeremy was ignoring him before the party, the betrayal and loneliness he felt after the party, the panic and anxiety he felt after visiting Rich -- almost two weeks of negative emotions rolled off his shoulders for the night. He didn’t realize how exhausted those feelings were making him until his head hit the pillow and his eyelids started to close. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Tuesdays were usually a pretty happy time for Christine. Aside from the delicious double chocolate chip muffins that the cafeteria only ever sold on then and the fact that her favourite podcast about world history and mythology updated that day, play rehearsals also fell then after-school. For those all-too-brief two hours on Tuesdays, Christine could forget her troubles and prove her talent, channel her energy and passion into something certain and creative. It was what kept her going through the week, what kept her from falling into that Monday funk and gave her the energy to face the challenges high school had to offer. It was a recent favourite, but thus far Tuesdays turned out to be a shining beacon in the otherwise soul-draining sea of high school. She tried her best to hold onto that feeling for this particular Tuesday, as she sat in front of the cafeteria doors at a small table with Jeremy. Mr. Reyes had purposefully set the table at the most busy entrance in an effort to get the word of the play out as much as possible. It also happened to be right next to the drama room, which helped draw the eye with the posters adorning the door. She and Jeremy had volunteered to sell tickets during the lunches of the week preceding the play, and thus far they'd been moderately successful! Well, it was certainly more than last year, at least. Christine was reluctant to admit it, but it seemed like a modern twist to a classic of the Bard would increase club popularity, and she did like having the Drama club around. Plus, Mr. Reyes had mentioned that if this terms play got enough support, the school might allow another one during the spring, and Christine really hoped that that went through.But, despite the financial comparison of traditional versus zombified Shakespeare tipping towards the less preferred newer version, the ticket sales weren't what was really bothering her. It was the company. On the outside, nothing was wrong. In fact, compared to the more reserved, awkward self that he displayed as recently as two weeks ago, Christine might think that Jeremy was actually having a really good day. He was smiling at everyone who passed them by, making small talk easily, and using his newfound charisma to charm almost everyone who passed by into buying a ticket. But Christine knew that Jeremy just wasn't the same since the party. He seemed just a touch more...distant, contemplative. Whenever she saw him before the party, they would fall into conversation as easily as falling into step, talking about anything that came to mind. It was really nice; not a lot of people at school paid Christine much attention when she was off-stage, turned off by her passionate opinions and enthusiastic personality. But with Jeremy, she could be herself. She could get excited about the newest musicals and talk about how she hoped they were still running that summer so she could go up to New York to see them, or how her musical side-blog was getting a lot of attention and her mutuals were all really cool people. She could get angry about things like the lack of adequate gun control, corruption in the legal system, the impact of racism, lack of protection for trans people, especially trans women of colour, and how progressed was received in today’s society (notably with how there was always a force pushing against it), and how she hoped to one day change all that (even if she wasn’t sure how at the moment). She could complain about a ridiculous History assignment from Ms. Duke or get excited about the prospect of another play within the year or get nervous about the uncertainty of the future and she never felt like Jeremy was judging her. And when he opened up, he was a really interesting guy! She could see the twinkle in his eyes when he talked about his favourite movies and games, and how he was actually really interested in his Physics class even though the teacher tried to suck the life out of it, and how he wanted to be a million different things when he grew up but right now he just wanted to enjoy high school. Their talks during play rehearsal, giving each other feedback and (in Christine’s case more than Jeremy’s) offering tips and tricks to remember lines, to improve vocals, to improve their stage presence, had made the already perfect two hours even better. Christine had to admit, Jeremy was really growing on her, and if she didn’t feel so unsure of her future, of who she was meant to be, she would really like to go out with him. He went from someone who she’d like to start talking with, to someone she’d like to be friends with, to someone she’d like to go out with, and they fell into this mutually comfortable, open ease. It was nice for things to be easy, outside of play rehearsal. She longed for that certainty she felt when she chose her name, when she first stepped on stage, that feeling of getting to know a part of yourself, to present itself in how she was supposed to move forward after high school. She thought Jeremy would understand her taking the time to figure herself out. Right now, though, he seemed to be weighing his words more than usual, and Christine wondered what was eating at him (ha, lunch puns, she thought to herself, but it rang more hollow with the...different atmosphere between them). When he was talking, it wasn't that much different from just a few days ago, and he still seemed genuinely interested in what Christine had to say, but the ease wasn't quite there anymore. For Christine, who was used to speaking her mind openly and freely, these pauses made her feel like she was being left out of the loop for some reason, especially after the ease that they had before the end of Saturday night. She had hoped that he was just having a bad Monday when it started the day before, but he seemed fine with Jake and the trend seemed to continue only when he was around her. She was worried that what happened at the party had hurt their friendship, and she really hoped that wasn't the case. Jeremy had really seemed like a nice guy, not...well, one of those “nice guys.” She tried to restart the feeble conversation during a lull in students, when the hall was quiet save for the buzz of voices in the caf behind them and the rapid clicking of the pen in her hand. Jeremy’s gaze had just started to turn distant. He looks like...like he’s getting lines from off-stage, Christine thought. Maybe it's the play? Maybe he’s worried? Should I say something about it?“So…” she started, relieved when he looked back down to her. “Three days till the big night! How’re you feeling?”If she hadn’t been going through this for the past two lunches, she might not have noticed the second-long hesitation. But she was, and it only served to add onto her concern. “Pretty chill,” he said, his voice blasé that way that seemed rehearsed. A smile that she couldn't quite place spread across his lips as he continued. “I mean, I can remember my lines and everything, not much else to it.”“Oh,” she said, unsure of what to say. For some reason, she felt a twist in her chest at that implication, that acting was no big deal. Then again, at their first rehearsal, he effortlessly recited his lines. Was she ever that effortless? Her words felt bathed in that…envy? Was she envious of Jeremy? “It’s totally okay if you are. I mean, stage-fright and pre-show jitters happen to the best of us!”He shrugged with that same careful nonchalance, and Christine was struck again with how much he’d changed over the past few days. “I’m not worried,” he said, casually.Christine opened her mouth the say something, to ask why he was suddenly acting so different, when the loud, high, squeaking noise of a locker opening snapped them both out of the moment. Startled, she just barely caught something change in his eyes before she looked up to the source of the sound.A kid wearing a red hoodie and chunky headphones was shoving a heavy textbook onto the top shelf, seeming to strain against the small width of the school lockers and the presumed notebooks or papers already there. She couldn't quite make out their expression from where she was sitting, but their back was hunched and their shoulders tucked in, making them seem like they wanted to hide. Their movements were short and rigid, and they seemed awfully focused on whatever was on the top shelf. They practically radiated nervous tension, seeming to want to run, hide, and freeze at the same time. Then, their head moved just the tiniest bit, and Christine recognized him. She nudged Jeremy, who had turned to look at his phone. She aside the unease and tension that plagued the table not three minutes before for later, more interested in the situation at hand. “Hey, isn't that your friend, Michael?”Jeremy glanced up for the briefest of moments, then turned to her with a puzzled (and was that annoyance she detected in his eyes?) look. “What’re you talking about?” “You know, Michael?” She said, exasperated. “You know, red hoodie with a lot of patches? Always listening to music? You two are practically like...I don't know, like Hermia and Helena pre-almost-elopement?” “I have no idea what you're--” “Best friends, Jeremy! You two were inseparable and now you're barely in the same hall together. You are best friends, aren't you?”“Oh,” he replied, quietly. Sincerely. “No, not anymore. Not since the party.” Christine felt relief flood through her. Finally, he seemed to be opening up! Maybe that’s why he was so off, breaking it off with your best friend would make anyone a bit distant. The thought made her immediately regret pressing the topic.“Oh, I'm sorry about that,” she said, and she genuinely meant it. She knew how it felt to lose long, meaningful friendships. “If you want to talk --”Just like that, though, the moment of openness had disappeared, like a brief second of sunlight being covered once again by an overcast. Jeremy’s eyed became steely and the space between them turned just as cold. “Don't be.” His tone was dismissive. “He was...he was holding me down. Focused too much on the past, and I just wanted to move forward.” Before she could say anything else, the cafeteria doors opened behind them. Jenna Rolan emerged and was making a beeline for the staircase, chatting animatedly on her phone about a possible cheating situation involving Madeleine on the third floor. Christine only heard the tail-end of it but she assumed it must have been juicy from the way that Jenna was talking. Another thing she noticed was how, while her tone conveyed excitement, she seemed...tired. She wondered briefly if Jenna enjoyed being the school gossip. She didn't have much time to ponder this, though, as Jeremy seemed to be struck with an idea. “I have to go,” he said, although it didn’t feel like he was specifically talking to Christine. “I have to pick up a thing for Rich.”“Oh. See you at rehearsal,” she replied.He flashed her a grin and a wave before he went, and she was struck once again with how different he seemed, how it didn’t quite reach his eyes. Maybe it was the loss of a friendship getting to him. Maybe he was still shaken after the party. Maybe he was still upset that she turned him down. Maybe their friendship wouldn’t recover from that. A shuffling noise from down the hallway caught her attention and pulled her out of her worsening thoughts. She looked back to Michael, who was still tense, jaw tight even from where she was sitting. Then, he breathed, and it was like his strings were cut. He angled the textbook in his hands just an inch to the right and slotted it easily into his locker, then pulled out a brown paper bag and shut the door. As he walked towards the caf doors, he paused for a second to look at Christine, eyes and small smile apologetic. Christine could feel her expression mirror his. With his free hand he pulled his headphones around his neck.“So, um…” the words died in his throat, and he cleared it. “So... ‘A Midsummer’s Nightmare About Zombies’?”She groaned. “We’re trying to branch out, get more people interested in the club.” “Well, I’d say it’s working,” he said. “Like they say, what’s a classic without a zombie spinoff?” “A classic?”“A story waiting for the living dead to spice it up, that's what.”Christine would have groaned again, but saw an opportunity to lighten the mood and ran with it. “Maybe you could say it’s waiting for the living dead to…” she gave a cheesy wink, “...liven it up?”“Wow,” Michael’s voice was deadpan, but the corners of his lips were twitching upwards. “If this is the type of humour being showcased at the play, consider my interest revoked.”“Aw, come on Michael!” she stifled a giggle. “I’m sure you’d still be impressed by our dead-ication!”“Oh, my God.” “We worked really hard on the script! We all stayed behind to -- pfft -- brain-storm ideas!”“Christine, I’m begging you...”“Of corpse, if you’re going tomb refuse, you can always stay home in your living room, but I promise it’ll be a -- scream!”They were both giggling by now, although Michael still tried to compose himself every few seconds. Then his composure would break and Christine would find that hilarious and they’d start all over again. Eventually, they settled down, forgetting the mutual friend who made their lives that much more complicated. “That last one,” he said, still fighting that smile on his face, “wasn’t even that good. I expected more from you, an officially Shakespeare-trained actress.”“I’m saving the best material for the stage,” she joked, throwing up a pair of finger guns and another wink, receiving a playful eye-roll in return. “Seriously, though,” she continued. “It’s gonna be really fun! If you like zombies, and you’re even mildly interested in Shakespeare -- which, hard not to be, I know -- I guarantee that it'll be a good time. I promise there are minimal puns involved.” He picked up a playbill, examining it thoughtfully. “I’ll...” he started, pausing at the casting column. He looked back up at her. “Can I think about it? Do you guys sell tickets at the door?” “Sure and sure!” she said. “But if you want them a whole three bucks cheaper, we’re here every lunch till the curtains open!” “Well, I’m not too far off,” he said, nodding back to his locker. “Right now, though, I gotta take off to make tutorials. Wish me luck that Mrs. Harding accidentally printed the wrong answer key.”“Good luck!” Christine said. Michael waved as he passed through the caf to the opposite wing, leaving the hallway quiet and empty. Christine sighed after a minute of no students, and pulled out her script from her bag. She already knew her lines and stage directions by heart, but, unlike Jeremy implied, a little review and practice never hurt anyone. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- The nurses were obviously concerned at the lack of visitors for Rich. In the three days that he was here, only Michael bothered to step foot inside the room. His dad apparently did know, since he was the only one of Rich’s emergency contacts who hadn't left town, but he kept his distance from the hospital proper so far. The nurses told him he called on the first day that he called while he was asleep, but as of yet there wasn't another peep from him. That suited Rich just fine: he wouldn't have been ready to deal with that particular confrontation while he had the Squip, let alone without it. The more time he had to figure out just what to say to him, the better.Aside from the single visit from Michael, he’d been keeping himself busy for the past three days by turning his head slightly to the left to watch the tiny TV, play Tetris on his phone to the best of his limited mobility, or staring at the same as-of-yet unanswered text to Jake. (Me): Hey, Jake. I want to talk and apologize for Saturday night and make sure you’re okay. Can I call you? He received plenty of texts from other kids at school, asking how he was. All of them, whether spoken or unspoken, were mainly asking why he did it. He, or rather his Squip, answered most of them when he was lucid enough on the first day in, as it refused to let him let go of all the social progress it made since Freshman year. But without it, he neither had the energy nor any idea of what to tell them all. They stopped trickling in that morning, though, so maybe his previous replies were making the rounds. The hospital didn’t have WiFi and he didn’t have data, so his usual social media hangouts were out -- and honestly, he wasn’t sure he’d want to know what people were saying about him, anyway. The only other thing he did once the Squip was gone was work around that new gap in his mind. Day one without the Squip was jarring, to say the least, but not in an especially bad way: it mostly felt like there was a gap in his brain, a space where a very big but very damaging piece once was. If felt like he removed a painful splinter, or a rotten tooth. One of the most immediate changes was that his thoughts were clearer and he went on a lot more tangents. Before, the Squip would interrupt him and pull him back into the present whenever the thoughts went against his new, cool persona or when the situation didn’t call for zoning out. Most of the time, it would insist that in order to fit in and pass, he’d need to be loud, take up more space and make his presence known, and “stopping to smell the roses” wouldn’t help in that regard. Without that little voice making him feel constantly watched, Rich just reveled in how much he missed just thinking and enjoying having his mind to himself. And what a change that was! If you asked Rich only a few months ago how he’d feel without his Squip, he’d say he’d feel like someone had tossed him back into the ocean after finally getting pulled onto a lifeboat. Sure, it was a shaky lifeboat, a lifeboat that asked him to do really mean and shady shit in order to continue rowing to shore, but it was a lifeboat nonetheless, and the ocean was a cold, lonely place filled with drunk dads and uncaring peers. Without his Squip, he’d be back to that sad, idle Freshman year.Right now, though? Well, being alone wasn’t exactly fun, but considering his options, he figured he made the right choice. He’d rather be free from that constricting hivemind of artificially made relationships, all based on the digitally aided mutual desire to be cool, to be popular, to be noticed. For the first time in a year and a half, he felt uncertain about the future, about others, about himself, and that feeling was exhilarating. ~That’s not to say that the hospital stay wasn’t mind-blowingly lonely, though. His roommate had been discharged Sunday afternoon, preventing any conversation that might have occurred post-Squip. The nurses didn’t stick around for long once they had finished checking his vitals or helping him eat, more preoccupied with the less medically stable patients (while there weren’t a lot of patients in the ICU at the time due to the small size of the town, the ones who were in the unit were apparently not doing so well in comparison to Rich. Which, considering what he went through, was impressive -- in its own sad, kinda shitty way). He was watching an old, crappy sci-fi flick on the tiny TV near the bed to keep himself occupied. The volume was low enough to tune out if he wasn’t paying attention or was sleeping or on the off chance that he got a roommate, but it came with subtitles so he could follow along if he chose to. He was mostly just zoning out to the visuals of cardboard acting and hilariously fake lake monster costumes, trying to ignore how quiet and empty the room was without Kermit the Frog telling him what to do. It wasn’t exactly working. By the time that the credits started rolling around, he noticed that it was around the middle of lunch period at school. He picked up his phone, deciding to text someone before he went out of his mind. Scrolling through his contacts, however, made his stomach twist in nervousness. Aside from the gossip vultures, his three most prospective contacts proved...complicated. Jake was...well, any other time, it would be him that Rich would text first, without question. He was really the only person Rich knew and trusted at Middleborough, and not talking to him was killing him. But Rich’s text was still unread and he needed to clear the air before he started texting him casually. Even though his memories were clouded and he honestly wasn’t sure whether he or his Squip set the fire, Jake had no clue about that and for all intents and purposes thought it was Rich. He owed Jake an apology and an explanation, at the very least. Seeing as he wasn't replying, though, he figured with a heavy heart that he really fucked up their friendship. Jeremy was next. While he wanted to reach out to Jeremy and see if he was in the same boat, he honestly wasn’t sure how to approach that situation. “Hey, guess what, I’m in the hospital for?? Turns out the thing I recommended you either made me so fucking out of it that I burned my BFF’s house down or it did that for me! And your ex-BFF gave me a special drink to get rid of it because I legit cannot take another day of being around it! Hope yours isn’t as completely life-ruining, lol!!!” Besides, last he saw him, at the party, he was...well, he looked good. Better than Rich at the time, for sure. And certainly better than Jeremy for the past three years that Rich knew him, hunched over and scared all the time. For the first time since he knew him, he looked comfortable with himself, and Rich knew how good that feeling was. Why take that away when he had no clue whether what happened to Rich was a common thing with Squips? Sure, his backfired, but he never heard of anyone else suffering, and he dealt out a lot of Squips in his high school experience. Plus, he still needed to apologize properly for his behaviour towards him, without the Squip in his head. He wasn’t sure he could talk about anything else without addressing that, the Tic-Tac-sized elephant in the room, or his falling out with Michael. That brought him to the headphones kid himself. Michael was an interesting case, but in a good way. He was fun to talk to, even if they only really did so for a day in total. It was natural, just two guys genuinely talking about anything. And listening to him, he realized what a cool guy he was. He was exactly what the Squip would have turned it’s pixelated nose up at, and exactly what Rich wanted to be from then on: comfortable and proud in everything he was, regardless of what others thought. Guilt hung over Rich for the past few days, though, as Rich had come to terms with the toxicity of the Squip and his own behaviour. Like Jeremy, there was still a lot of bad history between them due to his actions. While Rich hoped that he could apologize and maybe make up for the year and a half of bullying if Michael did forgive him, he wasn’t exactly sure how to start. Maybe proving that last night’s conversation wasn’t a one-off thing born of supercomputer-instigated desperation would help. After a few deleted conversation starters, he eventually settled and sent something that he figured would interest Michael. (Me): Hey you like weird obscure retro stuff right? Bc boy howdy do I have a thing for you The reply came a quarter of the way through the next movie, his phone pinging right as the protagonist had uncovered the aluminum-foiled flying saucer in the woods. Rich unlocked his phone as quickly as his casted up arm would allow. (Michael): i’m intrigued. do tell? (Me): Channel 6 is having a week long sci-fi marathon & they’re so shitty it’s hilarious (Me): This morning there was one w a mutated tomato plant taking over Maine (Michael): oh okay. i’m more of an 80s cult classic dude, but they sound fun to make fun of (Michael): also geez, between that and stephen king, what is it with maine? (Me): Ah k (Me): Also Ikr??? @ Maine what’s with the cheesy spookiness?? (Michael): lmao (Michael): no offense but why are you binge watching old scifi movies? (Me): There is literally nothing else to watch except maybe professional curling or local news (Me): Shock of all shocks, the being in the hospital is kinda boring & the selection of activities while fully casted ain’t gr8 (Michael): that blows (Me): U can say that again lmao (Me): But like @ least the movies dont fail to be ridiculous lmao (Michael): lmao (Me): Lmao (Me): But lmaos aside yeah my brain might turn to mush Rich noticed that the lunch period had definitely ended by now. He figured that it was as good a time as any to get what weighed on his chest off of it. (Me): Hey speaking of brains (Me): Can I just say thanks again for yesterday & also like (Me): I’m really sorry for all the shit I pulled with you & Jeremy like teasing you & being a dick in general, especially with the whole gay thing recently & writing “boyfriends” on both of your backpacks. That wasn’t cool of me, it was hurtful and I shouldn’t have made fun of you at all and esp not using sexuality as a joke. I can’t take it back but I want to apologize bc I’m ashamed of how I acted, regardless of the Squip (Me): Like overall my behaviour towards you two over the past year was really shitty and rude and cruel, & you and Jeremy didn’t deserve it. If there’s anything I can do to make it up to you two, Id be more than willing to do it As anticipated, there wasn’t a reply yet. He shut the screen and returned to the movie just in time to catch the spaceman-esque aliens crashing through a drive-in screen and terrifying the stepford locals. He tried to use the unintentional hilarity of the terrible acting and effects to ignore the nervous twist in his stomach. Surprisingly, the reply came forty minutes later, much sooner than Rich anticipated considering it was supposed to be in the middle of a class period. It started as a single ping, followed by several more at fairly even intervals. Rich unlocked his phone, reading the increasing number of texts as they filled the screen. (Michael): it’s (Michael): i don’t want to say that its fine because like (Michael): it did hurt me (Michael): like i can’t speak for jeremy but it did hurt a lot for me and it did affect me (Michael): especially since like (Michael): ok look i know you dont know but i AM gay and using it as an insult is pretty low (Michael): even tho like 90% of the school does it still it’s not cool you know (Michael): i mean it would still be shitty even if i wasn’t gay because being gay isnt an insult but you get where im coming from. feeding into the homophobia at the school is harmful (Michael): but like (Michael): i appreciate that you apologized and that you recognize that how crappy your behaviour was (Michael): and IF you’re gonna change and be a better person i think i can forgive you (Michael): again, i can’t speak for jeremy, but (Michael): you seem like a better dude w/out your squip & you seem to understand what you did wrong (Me): Thanks Michael, that means a lot to me (Me): I promise you the new Richard Goranski is gonna change for the better (Michael): i’ll hold you to it (Me): Can I ask you something? (Michael): yeah shoot (Me): If it’s cool, I’d really like to keep talking to you & make up for the past year & 1/2? (Me): If not though I completely understand & I can leave you alone, it’s whatever makes you feel more comfortable Rich’s fingertips worried the bubbled and discolored plastic of his phone case and the cracked screen as he waited for a reply. When one eventually did come, he felt the nervous knot in his stomach untie and settle. (Michael): yeah, i think it’d be cool if we kept talking ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- In a shocking twist of events, Michael’s world continued to go on after Jeremy. Aside from that very awkward quasi-encounter in the hallway -- where he was sure some branch of fate forced his textbook to not fit inside his locker like it usually did -- things had been...normal. He’d hoped that something in that distant-exclusively-to-Michael façade of his would have cracked after a few days. Maybe more people would notice, or maybe the apocalypse would actually happen because Michael and Jeremy, inseparable duo since kindergarten, who stuck together even after Michael deleted Jeremy’s almost finished Super Mario Sunshine save file out of spite in the height a petty argument, that power duo, had officially split because Jeremy…Jeremy realized he could do better. But no, life went on. Classes began and ended as usual, the cafeteria still sold subpar food for increasingly ridiculous prices as usual, his math teacher continued to give sparse notes and hand-wave any questions as “well, just look at this example, which I will do without any real explanation and mostly just pointing at numbers and expecting you to get it,” as usual. Point being, Michael was coming to the realization that twelve years of friendship coming to a heartbreaking conclusion meant nothing in the grand scheme of things.And boy, did that sting. He was definitely better than he was yesterday and certainly better than on Sunday, but it still affected him. Honestly, the fact that no one else at school even noticed their schism, save Christine, just made that sense of loneliness even worse. So, Rich texting in the middle of lunch him was a blessing. He wasn't a replacement for Jeremy, but he was fun to talk to and clearly both boys needed someone before they lost their minds from friendless solitude. At that moment, Michael was curled up on his bed, propping his head up with one arm and staring down at his phone. The screen, a pair of lava lamps, and the light from the kitchen descending from the stairs were the only sources of light cutting through the comfortable shade in his room. After the shitty day he’d been having, he was satisfied with just lying down in the dim basement, chatting with Rich. They had picked up their conversation fairly easily after the apology, now minus an unspoken tension hanging above their heads, like that pendulum Edgar Allan Poe wrote about that was slowly coming to slice their budding -- acquaintanceship? Friendship? -- to ribbons (turns out Rich really liked Poe pre-Squip, as he supplied the metaphor. Sure did surprise Michael). Michael still wasn’t sure how he felt about Rich, but if the past few days and conversations have been any indication, he preferred him Squipless. Since Michael’s last period was a free one, they only really paused so that Michael could drive home. Once he arrived, Michael headed straight to his bedroom and flopped down onto his mattress, backpack -- and by consequence, homework -- left abandoned at the foot of the stairs. There he stayed for the next two hours, texting Rich. The latter had proposed a game of Twenty Questions in order to get to know each other better, but they eventually lost count and just continued asking each other questions. (Rich): Ok Ok so (Rich): You’re a game-savvy boy, right? (Rich): (& No that’s not my question, I know u are. It’s rhetorical build-up so wait for it) (Me): lmao k (Rich): So what’s your poison, Mell? (Rich): Console? (Rich): Or ...PC?? (Me): plot twist (Me): its both (Rich): ??Srsly? (Me): yeah, tbh i mostly prefer retro games no matter the console, so as long as the game works idc (Rich): Ok but like, which controls do you prefer? (Me): each have pros and cons, i guess. depends on what i’m feeling that day (Rich): Interesting.. (Me): ok, my turn now, you’ve had like 10 questions so far (Rich): 6 technically, but sure continue (Me): i know you like fps, but what’s your favourite game? (Rich): Hmmm…….. (Rich): Probably Halo (Me): yeah? (Rich): Yea (Rich): It has some p good lore & it’s fun to play w other ppl (Rich): Plus it’s a trip when ur brain is the remote (Me): whoa i can imagine (Me): mind if i ask how that worked? (Rich): My Sqip basically synced up to the Xbox & it like (Rich): It would visualise the game around me? If that’s the right word?? (Rich): Like it said it was altering my perception and adding graphics so it really looked like I was in the game, & like it looked even better than the games graphics. Also it would make it so that I was controlling my character w wtv I thought or did (Rich): Like I’d take a step forward & so would game-me, yknow? (Rich): It was fun. Not so much when i died but wtvs (Me): oh yikes, did it recreate your exact death or something? (Rich): Nah not really (Rich): Hindsight?? I think it wanted me to GG bc it would just shock me every time I lost (Me): it shocked you? wtf?? (Rich): I mean it wasn’t really that bad it was like yknow a static shock but like it did that everytime I did somehtign it didn’t like anyway so yeah I think it figured me climbing the ranks in Halo would make me cooler Michael just stared down at his phone, processing this new information. Now that he thought about it, the way Rich and Jeremy would suddenly straighten up or flinch every so often was becoming alarmingly more understandable. (Me): dude (Rich): Yeah I know (Me): is that a (Me): i wanted to say normal thing but like. is it a thing your squip did pre-malfunctioning or was it just another faulty bit? (Rich): No its def the feature of a healthy Squid, it was a thing ever since I got it (Rich): Squip !! (Me): jesus (Rich): Same (Rich): Like on 1 hand it got so bad & I got so used to doing what it said that it might as well have eben puppeteering me, inserting words into my mouth, & I was basically 2nd fiddle in my own body (Rich): But on the other hand (Rich): I did get rlly fcking good @ halo tho (Rich): (You can't see it but I'm trying to do finger guns)) (Me): at least there’s that…? (Rich): Anyway, point being, its gone now. Ding dong the witch is dead etc etc (Rich): Also, it’s my turn! (Rich): Are there any recent games you’d be into? (Me): well there was (Me): i was p looking forward silent hills before it got (Me): yknow. Cancelled™. (Rich): SAME?? (Rich): PT was the scariest thing I played in y e ars (Rich): & It was technically only a trailer!! (Me): it could have been so great (Rich): RIP Silent Hills, you will be missed (Rich): So wait!! Aside from that, 0 modern interests?? (Me): i mean yeah there are some cool things just that was what really stuck out for me (Me): like obvs, the new star wars movie (Rich): Obvs (Me): mad max was cool (Me): i liked playing undertale & d&d (Rich): DND doesnt count, it was made in like the seventies (eighties?? Idk awhil ago) (Me): theres probs other stuff too but not much that’s as cool as like (Me): aotd or other nineties stuff, especially with games. idk i just haven’t found any good ones yet (Rich): Well, looks like I’m gonna have to intro u to a bunch of good modern games (Me): yeah that’d be fun (Rich): Cool cool cool its a date (Rich): Hey nurses r here, I gtg for a bit, ttyl? (Me): yeah sure, later! When Michael closed his phone, he rubbed his eyes and took a moment to take in what he learned. A Squip could alter perceptions, at least to the point of translating the graphics and mechanics of a video game into the real world. A Squip could shock its host. A Squip would shock it’s host in order to accomplish it’s goals, whatever they may be. A sick feeling grew in the pit of his stomach as his words from Saturday night rung in his ears. ”We’re talking an insanely powerful super-computer. You really think its primary function is to get you laid? Who made them? How did they end up in a high school? In New Jersey? Of all possible applications for such a mind-blowingly advanced technology, you ever wonder what it’s doing inside you?” He walked over to his desk, switching the lamp next to his laptop on and sitting down. He opened the drawer, pulling out the stack of Post-Its and peeling them apart, reviewing each and pressing them across the wall the desk was pressed up against. WoW buddy’s brother went crazy trying to get it out: Why would he want it out if he was so successful? What did the Squip do? Japanese company (-ies??). V little info: WHY? Tech like this should be all over! Lack of press = something shady going on? Beta-testing? Why NJ though?? Why teens??? Why are suppliers @ back of Payless shoes? Endgame(s): “improve ppls lives”, spreading tech (who benefits? Company bc $$? Squips?) Jer wore EMINEM shirt on the same day as E dying. Coincidence? Did Squip plan it? Did Squip know? EMINEM = Squipped?? WoW Bro: Flunking → Acing Harvard. Social status unknown. Timespan: 1 semester Rich: Unnoticed freshman → Bully. Teachers love him, made honour roll corkboard-thing. Timespan: 1 summer, @ most Jeremy: Self-proclaimed loser Geeky outcast → Hot Shit. Grades: idk. Apparently killing it in play practice. Timespan: 1 day @ school The last sticky note in his hands was a list at the known abilities of the Squip. It was pitifully short, containing only “tells host what to do”, “reads social moods” and “gets peers and teachers to like you?” He pulled out a pen and added “shocks host” and “alters perceptions” to the list, then stuck it to the center of the array of Post-Its. He sat back, running his fingers through his hair in an attempt to calm himself. The evidence, meager as it was, was clear: the Squips were bad news. Out of the three people that he knew had them, one landed himself in a mental hospital and another put his and the lives of others at risk in attempts to get rid of it. The pangs of loneliness, isolation and self-pity he felt over the past few days paled in comparison to the rising worry for his best friend as the truth he had suspected seemed to become more tangible, and he had a feeling that what happened to Rich wasn’t just a “malfunction.” What was the Squip doing to Jeremy? What were its plans for him? Michael could feel his heart race, and he quickly pulled his phone out of his pocket before the fear could consume him. He didn’t realize how shaky his hands were until he fumbled with the passcode for a few times. He took a moment to compose himself, unlock his phone and open his contacts. He tried Jeremy’s number firstly, but for the millionth time in almost three weeks, he was denied by a voice claiming that the number was “out of service.” He groaned in frustration at this as he opened his keypad and composed the number he hadn’t needed to use in years. The sound phone ringing filled Michael with relief, and he thanked the universe and whoever was in charge that at least he hadn’t been somehow blocked on this number, too. Luck must have been on his side tonight, as the ringing cut short soon after and was replaced with a familiar voice. “Hello, Heere-residence here,” Jeremy’s dad greeted, tone jovial as usual. “Hey, Mr. Heere, it’s Michael,” he said. “How’s it going?” “I’ve been doing alright!” Mr. Heere said. “How’s it been going with you? Sounds like you and Jeremy have been swamped with homework.” “Actually, that’s why I’m calling,” Michael said. “I actually wanted to know if I could talk to Jeremy?” Mr. Heere paused at this, then slowly asked, “What do you mean, I thought he was with you?” “No, he’s not,” the dread in his gut grew, and he forced himself to stay calm, if only for Mr. Heere’s sake. “I’m not sure where he is right now, we haven’t exactly been talking. Did he say he was with me?” “Yeah! He said that you guys had a science project and that he was going to your house for the past...geez, the past two weeks. Do you think he’s okay?” Michael hesitated at this, torn between spilling the whole truth as he knew it, both worrying Jeremy’s dad and tipping the Squip off to his knowledge, or just keeping the details to a minimum. He went with the latter. “He’s...he’s been hanging out with some new friends. They seem alright, it’s just that I haven’t gotten the chance to make plans with him for a bit, and his cell was busy, so I figured I’d try to call your landline. Sorry to bother you, I didn’t realize you had a day off today.” “I’ve been, uh, working from home recently. Office doesn’t need me there, you know?” Mr. Heere said, tone a little more somber and distant than at the beginning of the call. “I’ll tell him you called when he shows up, okay?” “That would be great, thanks.” They ended the call after a kind of awkward goodbye, and Michael switched back over to his messaging app, typing out a message to Rich and hitting send before he could think twice and regret it. (Me): hey, is it okay if i ask you a few things about squips?
11218449	Before the Beginning and	{ "Archive Warning": null, "Category": null, "Characters": "Angels (Homestuck), Horrorterrors, Skaia - Character, ??? i guess? - Character", "Fandom": "Homestuck", "Language": "English", "Rating": "General Audiences", "author": "by JerusalemStrayCat", "chapters": "3/3", "completed": "2017-12-03", "published": "2017-06-16T00:00:00", "words": "1,831", "Additional Tags": "SBURB, Headcanon, Skaia, How Do I Tag", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply", "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	What happens to a dead Incipisphere? Not a dead session, as in a game of Sburb with only one player. What happens to an Incipisphere after the game is no longer being played in it? After the players have escaped into their new universe, or into the Furthest Ring? Or maybe after they have all died?The edge of the Incipisphere is not solid, but a gradient. Derse dreamers who listen to the Horrorterrors’ song know this about as well as anyone could. It is physically possible, if inadvisable, for one to simply float beyond Derse’s moon and into the Furthest Ring. A vague sense of otherness is usually all that accompanies the transition from the Incipisphere to the Ring. Even the stuff of Paradox Space is slow to become chaotic until past a certain spatiotemporal distance from the session. Don’t be fooled by the relatively stable spacetime close to the edge of the Incipisphere - the Horrorterrors will still eat you, even if you are close enough to feel the safety of the Medium.Some players have reported strange things happening to the Incipisphere, as they looked around one last time before following their co-players into the Endgame Door. It seems that the presence of Sburb players within the session has a stabilizing effect on its constructs. This stability begins to disintegrate as soon as the players begin to leave the Incipisphere.It all goes to hell as soon as the Incipisphere is completely vacant.It starts small. The code governing the physics begins to break down, causing the Veil to become unstable. The meteors drift into the center of the Medium, or out into the Ring. The built-up houses lose their structural integrity and collapse. The Skaian clouds begin to dissipate. If the Genesis Frog has already destroyed Skaia, the residual force from the Vast Croak knocks the Lands around like so many pool balls. If there is no Frog, the Lands simply spiral into the Battlefield. Whatever force holds together the dream moons weakens, causing the towers and catacombs of Prospit and Derse to detach and float free. The Incipisphere is soon reduced to floating bits of debris. Don’t worry about the NPCs - they die quickly.Then it gets weirder.The Angels are game constructs that spawn under certain circumstances. They appear as part of the Hopey Thing, more rarely as an NPC on someone’s Land. Usually, though, they function exactly as a certain Mage of Doom claimed. The game is over. The players are gone. For those who are unfamiliar with computer programming terms, “garbage collection” refers to a computer getting rid of an unneeded object to free up memory space. I suppose it’s more glamorous to say that Angels are used “two u2her iin the end” than “garbage collectors.” The Angels swoop around like the creepy fanged bird snakes they are, reducing what they can’t eat to dust.From the outside, an active Incipisphere looks like a little solar system. Skaia in the middle, the lands around it, the Veil farther out, Prospit and Derse barely visible. The Medium is transparent. However, once the Angels finish their work, the Incipisphere would glow with their holy light, made hazy by the ambient dust, outshining any Genesis Frog that may be inside.During this whole process, the borders of the Incipisphere gradually disappear. The Horrorterrors’ tentacles begin to burrow into the Medium like a toothpick through jelly. The less astute ones try to snap up some Angels before they unrender and dissolve. This proves to be a mistake, as Angelic and Grimdark forces are like matter and anti-matter. If a Horrorterror survives an Angel encounter, it will learn to stay well away from Angels.Eventually, nothing remains of the session at all. This is the fate that will befall the A2 and B2 sessions. A neat and tidy death, as that little patch of Paradox Space is reintegrated into the Ring. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Let’s rewind. Before the Angels glowed through the dust, before the players were dropped unceremoniously in the game their lives would become, before Derse and Prospit declared war on each other. Every Incipisphere starts as a single point in the Furthest Ring. The spacetime around that point untangles slightly in preparation for the Incipisphere’s creation. The nearby Horrorterrors retreat. Then, suddenly, an astonishing amount of sense begins to be made within a small section of stabilized spacetime. The borders of the newborn Incipisphere solidify slightly, and voila! A wonderful new blank slate, an ideal environment to run some game code. It’s even got Euclidean geometry and everything. The Sburb code begins to run. This event takes place as soon as the Frog Temple runes are transcribed, decoded, and made into executable files, since that is the point at which the game becomes inevitable. Once the game is made, there is nothing in Paradox Space that can stop it from being played. Any timeline in which it is prevented - the players don’t install the game, the Frog Temple is never discovered, whatever - is a doomed offshoot. Skaia wakes up and becomes sentient. It can see forward and backward in time - or rather, up and down lines of causality - in any realm its players affect. This power grants it the ability to find its players, and prepare the Incipisphere accordingly. At this point, any mention of “the code” can be substituted with Skaia. Skaia loads the appropriate Land options, populates the Medium's lore with references to events past and future, and, at last, brings the bodies of the Medium into corporeal existence. To an outside observer, the formerly empty Incipisphere would suddenly be filled with colorful bodies of various sizes, starting as large simple polyhedrons and and accruing small details as the rendering and texturing progresses. The Incipisphere is now adequately prepared. Skaia shines in the center, the Battlefield in its midst shrouded by a thick layer of brilliant clouds that reflect random moments within Skaia’s purview. Golden Prospit circles close, its chained satellite dipping gently into the clouds. The Lands, darkened until the players enter, orbit farther out. Then comes the formidable Veil, with its mystery and machinery, then Derse, brushing the Incipisphere’s edge with its moon. Only one thing is missing - life. The Denizens are not truly alive, nor are the consorts. They can only speak when approached, and generate their utterances with a primitive form of AI. If killed, they dissolve into pixels. The carapacians, however, are living and sentient organic beings. They cannot spawn out of thin air. Well, the royal pieces do, albeit indirectly. The Kings and Queens hatch out of eggs in their respective throne rooms, already knowing their purpose. Their first act is to declare war between the moons and begin growing soldiers in the ectolabs of the Veil. The war continues to rage through all of history, swinging this way and that, but always creeping in the same direction. The players are scheduled to arrive the instant Prospit is on the verge of defeat. Time flows differently around the Incipisphere than it does on the host planet. In the time that it takes for the Frog Temple runes to be deciphered and the resulting game to be distributed, thousands of years will have passed - enough time to flesh out the shared mythos of Prospit and Derse and fill the libraries on the moons and the Battlefield. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- The way that Sburb is propagated allows for thousands, millions, of sessions to originate on a single host planet. However, due to the way causality works, only one has the potential to be fertile. The vast majority of sessions don't progress far enough to necessitate the creation of an Incipisphere, and those that do may not have the right assortment of players to see the game to its completion. If not that, then some condition or event prevents the session from succeeding. Every session with a Time player is provided with a “reset button,” and every session with a Space player is provided with the means to activate it. Ironically enough, this means that the only sessions with the option to reset are the ones with the greatest chance to succeed. If the Time and Space players join forces, then they can reset their universe to a time before the session started. The Scratch, as the reset is colloquially called, causes Skaia to create a time paradox in the Incipisphere, destroying it from the inside out. The process of Scratching a session involves retrieving the Quills of Echidna from the eponymous Denizen, which can only be found in a session with a Space player, and using them to damage a musically-themed mechanism located on the Time player's Land. The Quills are the only items sharp and hard enough to release the temporal energy from the Scratch mechanism, which collects in the outer edge of the Medium and blocks anything from passing through. The mechanism is then detached from the Land and launched into Skaia. Upon absorbing the mechanism, Skaia retroactively changes the destination times of some of its defense portals. The resulting paradox kickstarts the messy demise of the Incipisphere. The chaos caused by the Scratch is not the tidy, systematic destruction of a naturally decaying session. There is no grace period of destabilization before the end. Death by Scratch, though much quicker than being eaten by Angels, is far more gruesome. As soon as the paradox-clone-carrying meteors pass through the portals, Skaia itself starts to disintegrate. It unrenders in a piecemeal fashion, textures stripped away to reveal a crumbling wireframe and the code underneath. Once Skaia is gone, the fate of the Incipisphere is sealed. A sphere of nothingness expands at the speed of light from Skaia’s former location, as if from a vacuum phase transition, annihilating everything within the Incipisphere. If one could take a snapshot of a single moment of an Incipisphere in the process of being Scratched, one would be faced with a horrible sight. Lands sliced up without time to unrender. Lines of code transformed into gibberish that causes madness in anyone who dares to read it. Carapacians and players, their bodies half consumed before they realize what's happening to them. At least they can't feel any of it. The bubble of void reaches the web of temporal energy near the edge of the Incipisphere. The session is gone. An outside observer would see a black void where the session was, enclosed by a network of fluctuating threads of energy, the visual equivalent of what a skipping CD sounds like. Now what? There is a gap of space in the Furthest Ring which, according to causality, has no right to be there. The only thing keeping it from abandoning its laws of physics and assimilating into the Ring is a spherical net of pure time. The separation is untenable. With a soundless snap, the space and time reintegrate, sending shockwaves throughout Paradox Space. With all this carrying on, it's a wonder that the Horrorterrors have suffered universes to exist so long.
11211657	asleep	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Min Yoongi \| Suga, Jung Hoseok \| J-Hope", "Fandom": "방탄소년단 \| Bangtan Boys \| BTS", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by sofsomi", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-16T00:00:00", "words": "1,346", "Additional Tags": "Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Fluff, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending", "Relationship": "Jung Hoseok \| J-Hope/Min Yoongi \| Suga", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	“Jung Hoseok.” Yoongi quietly walked into the latter’s studio with both of his hands inside his pockets because it was too damn cold, it was already four in the morning and he just wants to sleep as soon as he arrives in their dorm, but he can’t do that yet, because he can’t leave Hoseok inside the company building. Not when he knows how much Hoseok overworks himself and that’s already a problem. What more if Hoseok is releasing his mixtape in a matter of days? As he was preparing, it hasn’t been the best set of weeks.Jung Hoseok was there, passed out on his chair with his head leaning in an awkward position and he looked so peaceful for a moment, until his eyebrows scrunched up together and his arms crossed over his stomach in an attempt to warm his body due to the cool temperature inside his studio.If Yoongi were a cruel little bastard, he’d leave Hoseok right there and then since sleep was already seducing him as soon as he saw his boyfriend asleep. But, he just can’t. (1) Yoongi is Hoseok’s hyung and it is in the Hyung Code (Don’t ask, they made it up) that they shouldn’t leave any of the ones who are younger than them inside the company building because “Rest is important”, as Namjoon blatantly put it and (2) Hoseok is his boyfriend. Yoongi wouldn’t leave Hoseok alone even if he wanted to. Hoseok was already shivering and possibly dying of insecurities and anxieties due to his mixtape and Yoongi just can’t have that. Not as long as he’s alive.Yoongi shuffled inside and he was about to shake Hoseok awake but he stopped and stared at him for a while. Yoongi smiled as he gently placed his hand on Hoseok’s forehead and smoothed his features until Hoseok looked peaceful again. Yoongi took a seat next to him and he just couldn’t stop staring at him as he continued to brush Hoseok’s hair out of his face. “You work too much, Hoseok.” He whispered, careful not to wake the latter. He smiled fondly because it was nice to see Hoseok, all peaceful and quiet. It was adorable to see Hosoek as the sunshine that he is, filled with smiles and laughter but seeing him in this state also made Yoongi worry. He was aware that Hoseok has been fixing every little mistake that he sees in his mixtape and as that continues, often times, his anxieties kick in and that isn’t good. Hoseok would always pretend. He loves to pretend that he’s okay, he loves to pretend that he’s happy, he loves to pretend that he is not exhausted at all when in all honesty, it isn’t true. As much as Hoseok tries to hide, Yoongi would always see right through him. Whatever happens, Yoongi could see right through that blinding smile.“Look, I barely tell you this - but I’m incredibly proud of everything that you do. When it comes to music, your passion surprises me every time and I’m just in awe with how you put so much of yourself into your craft. You work so hard every day and you would always spend hours and hours inside your studio. Believe me, I know how it feels. And, I know it’s amusing that I’m the one who will say this but, please don’t beat yourself up.” Yoongi sighed, recalling all of the times of how Hoseok has been for the past few days and it was so difficult. It wasn’t difficult for him but it was difficult for Hoseok and it was hard to see him in such a bad state. “I know you want what’s best for your mixtape but you don’t always have to beat yourself up or push yourself to the limit. Everything that you create, everything that you put out into the world is already beautiful and I’m so proud of you.”Yoongi was calm but could hear his voice cracking and it was ridiculous; however, Hoseok’s insecurities eat him up and his anxieties come in, as if these two come together in a package deal. It breaks his heart every time Hoseok would go up to him and say how much he hates himself because he lacks so much. It was painful to see Hoseok cry, he doesn’t want that for him. He wants Hoseok to know that he’s good - he’s actually great when it comes to producing music, he knows his flow, his songwriting has improved immensely, his dance is out of this world, even his singing has improved and everything about him is amazing but Hoseok just can’t see that. He only sees his mistakes, his shortcomings, his flaws and everything else in between. It was already ridiculous that Yoongi can’t properly comfort him. He hated how much he couldn’t voice out what he wants to say. Right now, he’s talking to him, but Hoseok’s asleep. What good would that be?As Yoongi sat there in silence, he didn’t notice that he was already holding onto Hoseok’s hand until a voice whispered, “I will, Yoongi. I’m sorry I’m an idiot.”Yoongi’s eyes widened in surprise as he saw Hoseok’s eyes slightly opened and his smile was soft, “Thank you for telling me all of this.” Hoseok moved as he stretched his back and arms in an attempt to loosen his tense muscles. “I know this is unhealthy, I already know. It’s just that -” Hoseok stopped as he sighed in annoyance, “I just want it to be perfect.”“Hoseok.” Yoongi whispered and Hoseok hummed in reply and he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Yoongi look at him with such seriousness. “It’ll be more than amazing, trust me.”“You don’t know that.” Hoseok’s voice cracked and he was already gone, he could feel his tears and his heart failing him. “You don’t know that, Yoongi.”“I do. Hoseok, I tell you this everyday and up until now, you still haven’t believed me?”Hoseok broke. “I’m sorry, Yoongi.” He could feel his heart shattering and his ears were ringing and Yoongi’s voice sounded muffled until he was brought back when he saw Yoongi’s eyes stare back at him.“Don’t apologize, idiot. Come here.” Yoongi brought him into an embrace and it felt warm. Yoongi was warmth. He didn’t know that, but to Hoseok, he was. He was always there. He never left his side and he never failed to encourage him and he can’t explain how blessed he was to have Yoongi in his life, even if that sounded too cheesy. But, Yoongi brought that sense of warmth back into his life in a matter of seconds through that embrace. Hoseok was shaking hard, sobbing into Yoongi’s shoulders and it was so difficult but Yoongi remained calm and rubbed circles on Hoseok’s back because it always made him feel safe. They sat and embraced there for a few minutes until Hoseok finally stopped crying and he pulled away, his eyes were red and swollen. Yoongi sighed and wiped Hoseok’s tears with his sleeves. “You look like a mess.” Yoongi chuckled and Hoseok couldn’t help but chuckle with him.“But, I’m your mess.” Hoseok pouted in a cute way that Yoongi just wanted to stab himself so he’d be done with his life.“Hoseok, you were never a mess to begin with. You’re beautiful.” It was unexpected. Well, what could he possibly get out of Yoongi if it weren’t unexpected or unpredictable replies? Hoseok smiled as he pulled Yoongi into a kiss. It was soft, it felt right and he could feel both of them smile.When they pulled away, Yoongi was slightly blushing and Hoseok was dead inside, he looked so soft, it was ridiculous. To mask how whipped he was for his boyfriend, Hoseok just had to ruin the moment with his “funny” retort. “Min Yoongi: A cheeseball.”Yoongi rolled his eyes as he lazily stood up, “Clean up, I want to go home. I’m tired and I need my bed.”“Will do, honey.”"Stop it.""Nope!"
11274402	Fragile Wings	{ "Archive Warning": "Graphic Depictions Of Violence", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Kim Seokjin \| Jin, Min Yoongi \| Suga, Jeon Jungkook, Kim Taehyung \| V, Kim Namjoon \| Rap Monster, Park Jimin (BTS), Jung Hoseok \| J-Hope", "Fandom": "방탄소년단 \| Bangtan Boys \| BTS", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Mature", "author": "by mimnen (orphan_account)", "chapters": "16/18", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-22T00:00:00", "words": "175,205", "Additional Tags": "Blood, Gore, Gun Violence, Minor Character Death, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Royalty, Fairies, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Witches, Implied Mpreg, Hermaphrodites, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Swearing, Fluff and Smut, King Min Yoongi \| Suga, Fairy Kim Seokjin \| Jin, Werewolf Jung Hoseok \| J-Hope, Prince Park Jimin, Witch Kim Namjoon \| RM, Doctor Jeon Jungkook, Soldier Kim Taehyung, Implied Sexual Content, Mating Cycles/In Heat", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "Kim Seokjin \| Jin/Min Yoongi \| Suga, Jeon Jungkook/Kim Taehyung \| V, Kim Namjoon \| Rap Monster/Park Jimin", "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	'My Prince, i am afraid that you need to prepare for the worst.' Yoongi looked at the nurse with an expression that was hard to read. He was in shock, confused and angry. Jimin was feeling the same exact things but he was more careful with showing those emotions.'Thank you.' Jimin then thanked the nurse, giving her the permission to leave his and his brothers presence. He placed a hand on his brothers shoulder, only to have it removed almost immediately as Yoongi brushed it off.'Yoongi.' Jimin dryly asked for his brother, voice tired and worn out. Yoongi could tell that he had been crying, and he would be lying if he would say that he hadn't been as well.'We need to find someone who can help.' Yoongi simply said, ignoring what Jimin had to say. He took a deep breath and spared a glance towards his fathers bedroom that was currently filled with all kinds of medical team, from all over the land. Whom all of which were useless.No one could heal the King, no matter how many years they had spent in school learning the ways of medicine and operations. The King had fallen sick in a way that couldn't be healed by a human hand.'Honestly, i do think that you have gone mad.' Jungkook murmured in his seat, eyes pointed down towards the floor. Jimin sighed as he saw Yoongi stare back at him. The table full of people became quiet at the comment thrown by the Prince's cousin.Yoongi was quiet, studying the people in the table. All of them stayed quiet, avoiding his eyes. They were being quiet because they knew what would happen when speaking out loud in front of him. The just fired medical team was a great example of what could happen to them.Jungkook was family, so he couldn't be fired or thrown out of the castle, sadly.'I do wish that you would tell us your ideas instead, Jungkook-shi.' Yoongi spoke, clearing his throat before speaking. He wouldn't usually use such polite words when talking to his family members, but they were currently surrounded by other people of the royal castle so they had to pretend for now. Usually Yoongi would be swearing by now when it came to talking with Jungkook.Jungkook sighed, finally lifting his eyes from the floor and looking at Yoongi instead. 'I do think that perhaps firing the whole medical team wasn't a very good idea in a situation like this.' His voice was filled with sarcasm and both Jimin and Yoongi could sense it without trouble.Yoongi just started back. 'Well, they weren't doing a very good job so why keep them?'Jimin let out a sigh as a covered his eyes with the palms of his eyes.The King was sick, Yoongi would be the next to take his spot. Jimin was the younger Prince, so he would be up next to his brother but he wasn't interested at the spot. Neither was Yoongi either. This was the biggest reason behind why is brother was so keen on suddenly finding a fitting doctor to take care of their father. He didn't want to become a King yet.But Solaria needed a King, and time was running out for Yoongi.Their fathers condition was slowly deteriorating before their eyes, and it was only a matter of time before he would leave them. The two sons of the King do not know him much personally, as the King has been so busy for the whole time that they have been alive.Only ever seeing each other on big meetings and family dinners that were filled with unknown people from the press wasn't what neither of them would call proper family time. They never called the honorable man by the name 'father' but had to call him as their King. Jimin probably doesn't even remember what his fathers actual name is.Their mother died to a disease brought into the castle when Jimin was just two, Yoongi being almost five then. They do not have many memories of her, so the departure from her was much more easier. Both of them do still some days remember her and and her voice when speaking with them, even seeing dreams of her.The King became a busy lonely man who couldn't even bond with his sons. He was a sad case of what it looks like to be in charge of something so big as leading a country. The stress and responsibility of it all was the biggest cause of the King falling sick. Yoongi didn't want that to happen to him, or Jimin.He was actually quite afraid of the job, after seeing what it did to his father. He still remembers hearing stories about his grandfather and what he was like when he was the King. He was the one who left their father with this awful mess of a country to fix. Their father was able to fix some of it, but Solaria was still in the need of big help. Yoongi wasn't too sure if he alone could be the fixer.The dagger that flew across the air hit the red target of the wooden plank almost perfectly. The 'almost' was the reason behind the annoyed noise that the prince let out when collecting the dagger once again from the plank.He threw it once again, now hitting the target perfectly with a loud bang. He looked at it with small pants that left his lips, a few drops of sweat falling beneath his black hair.'Not bad at all.' Jimin commented, dropping his book to his lap just enough so that Yoongi could see his face behind it.Yoongi stayed quiet, moving to collect the dagger once again. 'You should practice as well instead of reading those stupid fairy tales of yours.' He spat and threw the dagger again, it's shiny silver metal shining in the air against the hot sun. Yoongi's shirt was beginning to stick to his back because of the heat. Jimin looked comfortable underneath the shade held by the servant who looked like they were having a cramp in their arm.'This isn't just a fairy tale.' Jimin smiled and moved his eyes back to the big pages of the old book. 'It is a book that tells you about the miracle work of spells and magic.' Jimin spoke as his eyes moved quickly on the worn out paper that was once white.Yoongi stopped on his feet, arm dropping from the previous position which it was in before- of almost throwing the dagger with much strength. He turned around to face his brother, who didn't seem to notice that he caught his attention.Yoongi sighed as he made is way to the other, placing the dagger onto it's wooden case. Grabbing a cold glass of water from the table where the servant left it without even having to order it.'Any stories about dragons and people from the sun as well?' Yoongi asked, brow raised as he took a sip of his glass. Jimin just sighed and rolled his eyes. 'Of course you wouldn't understand, i do not even know for a fact if you can read.'Yoongi grinned as he placed the glass down to the decorated table.'Oh i can read, i just don't believe in that magic crap and neither should you.' Yoongi murmured as he grabbed a small towel from the seat meant for him. He didn't feel like spending any time outside any longer. He wanted to head back inside the castle and take a brisk shower before meeting with the royal advisers.'Even when that magic crap could save our father?' Jimin asked, calmly turning the page of his book. Completely missing the way that Yoongi almost tripped on his own feet when walking.There was a long pause, before his brother made his way back to his side. Jimin felt a smirk form on his lips when Yoongi grabbed the book from his hands.'I am shocked to see that you can actually read.' He murmured and crossed his legs as he watched the other read the pages quickly.'Shut up for a second will you.' Yoongi quickly said, ignoring the odd looks from the servants around them. Jimin just smiled bigger.Yoongi eventually sat down next to him, eyes never leaving the book. Jimin looked at him for a moment before getting up. 'Look's like you'll be here for a while.' He said as he patted the others back, beginning to walk away from the patio, a servant following him quickly with a shade.'I'll see you when the advisers arrive.''Excuse me, my Price.' The old adviser in front of them asked carefully with shaky hands. 'I think i must have heard you incorrectly.' He said with a nervous laugh and looked at his men for help, who were just as confused.'No i am perfectly sure of what i said.' Yoongi then spoke.'You're mad.' A voice spoke out quickly, probably even before thinking through what they were going to let through their lips. It was of course no one other that the main guard of the royal army, Kim Taehyung.He let out a cough as he realized what he had just said before the Prince and his allies, looking away so that no one would pay attention to him. It was kinda too late for that, as everyone now had their eyes on him. Yoongi just slightly shook his head as he watched his friend struggle. Normally someone should be thrown out of the room for saying something like that to the royals, but Taehyung was usually excused because that was just something he would normally do, with his unfiltered mouth.Jimin decided that the uncomfortable silence was too murderous in the small conference room and spoke out.'My brother means what he said.' He spoke, placing a hand on Yoongi's shoulder. 'This is the last chance that our father has. We need to do everything that we can for him, isn't that right head adviser Lim?'The old man began to struggle with his words, murmuring and flailing his shaky frail hands around while trying to find the right words. 'I-i, of course my Prince, but is the right answer truly to-''Like i said.' Jimin smiled, interrupting the man before he would get to murmur some more. 'This is the King's only chance of getting better. There is no other way, so will you accepted my brothers plan or be responsible of the inevitable death of our father?'Jimin spoke like the devil, but looked like an angel with that smile of his. You didn't know how to response to his words as they were so filled with poison and something evil, but his looks made you think otherwise. He made you confused and rethink your thoughts over and over again just in case. But there really wasn't any other answer to this question. Everyone who wanted to stay alive knew what they needed to say.'You are correct, my Prince.' Lim finally managed to murmur out, bowing down before the two Prince's, his men following behind. 'We will do as you wish, as it is for the King's well being.'With that, the advisers were dismissed by Yoongi, sending them away from the small conference room.'You're going mad.' Taehyung spoke out once again, his voice now much more louder as is was just the four of them. Jungkook snickered as he listened to the conversation before him happen, leaning back on his chair comfortably.'Taehyung, it's all for uncle.' Jungkook reminded him in a sarcastic fashion. 'And Yoongi knows what he is doing, he read a fairy tale after all.'Jimin rolled his eyes as he flung his hand across the top of Jungkook's head. 'It is not a fairy tale, but a book about magic and spells. Those could possibly save our father.'Taehyung looked at the three for a moment, in awe. He then turned to Yoongi, looking for some wisdom out of all this odd talk about magic and other unreal things from a story book. 'Yoongi, you can't be serious.' He laughed.'There is no way that fairies still exist and you know it. They are long gone.' He said looking at the three. 'Those things only happen in story books and in tales. It isn't real.' Taehyung spoke, tightening the rope around his waist that was holding many weapons around it. The leather covered blades could kill in a second, and he was skilled at using them.The guard took control of the royal army just a few years ago, having practiced the art of battle for all his life. Taehyung may seem like a easygoing punster when speaking with his friends, but he is completely different when speaking with his troupes. Taehyung was strong and powerful, though calm and wise with his actions.Yoongi trusted him with his own life and knew that the other knew what was for the best. But Yoongi had come to the point of giving up everything for his fathers survival.Fairies, witches, werewolves, dragons and elves didn't exist. That was just how it has been taught inside the castle for all these years. Yoongi knew that magic didn't exist and that you couldn't find anyone who practiced the forbidden art anymore, as you would be killed for using it.But there were exceptions, that were mentioned in the said story book. The rare book of magic.Yoongi looked at Taehyung as he placed the small piece of paper on to the table that he removed from his pocket. All four pares of eyes stared at the worn out piece of paper that was removed from the book, the old text written on it already worn out and messy. You were still able to read it though, and Taehyung had a hard time figuring out what he had just read.'The black market.' He repeated after what he read. 'Rare magical creatures for auction, biggest pay gets the price.' The paper was removed from one of the documents inside Jimin's book, this one being from an old poster for the black market sale day.Despite looking very old, it was only a few years old. This meant that perhaps the black market still held days when they sold off the magical creatures that they held. This meant that there was a possibility that magic was still alive in their world, and that magic could be used to heal their King.'The costs are huge.' Jungkook murmured as he dared to peek a look at the paper as well. Of course his cheap self would only concentrate on the price.Yoongi grabbed the paper, placing it back to the pocket on the front of his shirt. He had a smirk dancing on his lips as he looked back at his cousin.'It's a good thing we have a great negotiation way, called the royal army.'There were yells and screams surrounding him from every corner. Children, elderly people and a few of his own age, all hoping for an escape from this cage. Someone screamed extra loudly in the small cage, hurting his ears. He brought his tied hands to cover his ears, hoping to cover them so that he wouldn't need to hear the awful sounds of the witches screams.Her voice was piercing, possibly made like that because of a spell. She screamed like she was being murdered, and perhaps she was, as Jin couldn't see due to the blindfold.The scream was horrifying, but the sudden quietness that was followed by a loud bang of a gun was even more horrifying. Jin felt shivers go down his spine as he heard the body of a lifeless body fall down to the wooden floor of the small cage.Everyone was pressed up close together as there wasn't much space. There was growling from a few werewolves, the sound of hissing from elves and the swears of the witches who just heard one of their own die. Jin stayed quiet, cheek pressed up against the cold side of the cage.Every now and then someone behind him would press up against his back in a way that would make him wince, due to the uncomfortable feeling of his wings being tied behind his back. He tried to move them earlier after being tied down, and he was in so big pain that he simply couldn't move them. The harsh rope was digging into the soft bones of his wings, the material rubbing away the dust that was covering his golden wings.Jin knew what was awaiting for him. The de-winging. His already messed up wings would be removed from him in a harsh way, leaving him as a wingless fairy. This way he could no longer fly, making it easier to keep him as a pet and the wings would be sold off in a much higher price.The thought made him shiver.Jin didn't know where he was taken, but he had a good guess.Ever since losing his town, after the humans destroyed his colony's forest, he was left alone. Other fairies were either killed, taken away before him or they died because of a injury or a disease brought by the humans. Jin was left alone, hiding for months.He kept himself alive by feeding on small creatures and his own spells. He hid in different forests, caves and abandoned houses. He managed to stay away from the humans for a few months, but he couldn't keep himself save for ever. Not when he was hunted every single day.The golden fairy who knew all the spells on the land, wasn't something that the humans would just let roam free. Once he was spotted on his home forest months ago, it became everyone's number one goal to collect him, no matter what it took. And Jin couldn't keep on running away forever, everything had to come to a stop at some point.Jin met his end on one night, while flying in the dark forest to get to the other side. A net was thrown from the trees catching him in a heart beat. Now, after a few hour horse carrier ride to this spot, Jin was about to be put up for auction.Fairies were usually needed for two things that made people want them. One, for their magic and spells and two for their looks. Both usually came hand in hand, as when they weren't needed for their magic, they would be used for taking advantage instead. Jin feared what would happen to him, as he has heard the stories from his relatives when they all still lived together.The black market has always been around for trading, selling and buying things such as magical creatures, stolen property and other things.Ever since the war between the humans began many years ago, the magical creatures have gotten stuck in the middle of it. Their homes have been destroyed, their families killed or stolen. The number of magical creatures in the black market has gone up by a bunch during the last few years, due to the fact that you could hunt them better now that they were weak and alone.Alone werewolves and homeless witches were found all over the country. They were either killed or taken to the market for sale. Some of them were sold at a low price, just so that you would get rid of them. The old ones would be used for testing and forced labor, as they weren't meant to stay alive for long. The younger ones would be held alive for a while, their magic being used and their bodies taken as advantage. It was sick and wrong, but there was no way of stopping it from happening.Ever since the old wise King of Solaria died many years ago, and his son took over the role of being a King, things were never the same.The hatred for creatures other than humans grew so much that there was no stopping it. Jin's people were being murdered and stolen from their homes and he could do nothing but watch. His mother would have been ashamed to see him now, if she was still alive.Fairies were becoming more and more rare, their numbers going down at an alarming rate. Jin last saw a member of his own colony a few months ago, when they were both found by a group of humans. They both flew away quickly, going in different directions. Jin never saw him again.There were only a few fairy colonies out there. The one where Jin grew up in was the biggest, and knowing that it was all gone didn't help at all. If the colony with the strongest fairies and magic didn't make it, then how would it be possible for others to make it? Jin didn't know, but he wanted to believe that it was possible in some way.But the situation seemed so bad, that it was hard to believe in anything good right now. Just by the way that the creatures around him began to act suddenly, Jin was sure that he didn't have much time left anymore.Soon the sound of the gate being opened was heard and everyone's attention was drawn towards it. Jin was being pushed against the wall, as people were trying to stay away from the hands trying to catch them from the outside.There was crying, screaming and hitting as everyone was removed from the cage one by one. Jin was one of the last ones to feel someone grab onto the ropes tied onto him. He was yanked out of the cage, thrown onto his sore feet instead.His bare feet touched the cold wet ground that felt harsh. His feet weren't made for walking anyways, as he was meant to move by flying instead. So the ground underneath is bare feet felt new and uncomfortable. But he was given no other chance but to move forward as he was pulled and pushed around.Within minutes he was moved from the original cage into a new one, this one being so much more smaller. Luckily he got to use that small space all for himself, as he was alone in the cage. Somehow that still felt horrifying, being alone again.The cage was on wheels as well, now moving somewhere else by horses. Jin could still hear the voices of the other prisoners but their voices were getting further away slowly. Jin was taken somewhere else than the others and he feared to open his eyes just in case if he could see through the blindfold.Soon he could no longer hear the others voices anymore, just the few words that the humans said to each other. It was quiet, as the horses walked through the rough terrain. It began to rain once again at some point. This new cage now had a ceiling, but the raining water still hit his face from some angles, making him shiver due to the cold.His traditional clothes looked like a mess, as he had worn the same gowns for quite some time already. He only had a few chances of washing them and letting them dry properly before he had to wear them again. His hair was longer than it had ever been, covering his eyes if he let his hair fall down from the tie he always held his hair up with.Jin felt like he was going mad for thinking so, but he hoped his new owner would be wealthy. He couldn't wish for freedom any longer, so why not wish for an easy life as a prisoner. Jin couldn't do much labor work, so perhaps he could make his owner happy in other ways.To stay alive, he would give away his body, magic and everything that the human wanted. Jin was set on surviving, even though it could kill him in the end. Because he would never give up on trying to escape. Jin would free himself one day, leave the humans and find his own kind.He would not let them make him lose himself.'Can you quiet down even for a second?' The witch asked, annoyed that his last night before being auctioned had to be spent by listening to the sad whines of the werewolf.Jin hugged his knees tighter against his chest, throwing a glance towards the wolf in his own cage. The big black wolf turned around and around in his small cage, whining and sometimes howling out. Jin felt sorry, as he did for everyone else.The witch on his right side let out a sigh as the wolf ignored him, covering his face with his scarf. Jin did get a good glimpse of the purple eyes that stared back at him for a second.The witch was very well know.Namjoon, was similar to Jin in a way. Both of them were hunted for a long time, and both of them were hard to catch. Namjoon was the son of the powerful witch doctor that had cursed hundreds of humans before for causing harm to the magical creatures. Namjoon followed his fathers footsteps and fought the humans who attacked his village with powerful magic. He was able to save a few of his people, and keep them safe for a while. But the humans never gave up.They looked for him and never gave up, until Namjoon just couldn't run away for any longer. He was becoming weaker and so was his magic. He was found by the humans a week ago, then brought to the auction spot.He looked like he had given up, as he leaned against the wall of his own cell. His eyes closed, arms crossed. He was exhausted and Jin understood that, but he still could not just stand still like the witch.Like the wolf, Jin wanted to find a way out. This was the only moment he got to try and find one as there were no guards oddly during this time.The alpha wolf was becoming more and more restless, almost as if he could sense something coming. Jin didn't want to stay and wait for whatever that something might be.They only had a few more hours until the auction.Jin hissed as the palms of his hands burned like they were covered in acid. The iron bars of the cage weren't made just from any regular material, but infused with gold that his magic couldn't work through. The gold must also be the same reason why the wolf cannot do anything either, as the same material is harmful to him as well.A werewolf is able to heal from almost everything, but gold is one material that will make it impossible to heal from. Since why wolf hunters always wear golden weapons and armor.Perhaps just being around the material was making the wolf feel weak, as his movements had slowed down from before and he seemed weaker. Jin was surprised to see the wolf begin turning into his human form right before their eyes.Surprisingly, the human was much more smaller than what Jin would have thought about him due to the size of his wolf form. He looked quite weak actually, laying there on the floor for a moment. He took heavy breaths and had his eyes closed, his hand touching his forehead.'I need to get out.' He spoke, voice shaky and raspy. He swallowed deeply as he opened his eyes and pushed himself up to sit on the floor of the cage. He was shivering due to not having any clothing on and because of the cold spring weather.'If you have any ideas on how to do that, please do go ahead and try. The fairy hasn't done anything useful either.' The witch murmured, burying himself in his coat and scarf. Jin squinted his eyes as he watched the sly eyes of the witch look back at him.Like the witch had done anything to try and get them out. All he had done was sit and watch as Jin tried almost every possible kind of magic on the cage, failing each time. The witch never used his own magic or tried to come up with another way out, so Jin didn't like hearing him complain.The reason why the three of them were brought away from the rest was because they were the most valuable. Jin was the golden fairy, that had been spoken about a lot between the humans interested in fairies. He had many people interested in him, and many people would arrive to shout a deal on him at the auction. Same went with the witch and the wolf.The alpha wolf has been hunted for years, ever since the humans found his powerful pack and hunted them one by one. The alpha was left alone, but he was always on the run. A lone wolf would be a dead one soon when without it's pack, and this alpha was no exception. Becoming weaker and weaker each day, the humans were able to finally capture him a few days ago.The witch was wanted for his strong magic, but also feared. He had a mind of his own, being able to escape easily and take down his enemies. You would need a strong human to make him stay under control, and that sounded like a interesting challenge to many.The three of them would surely be sold tomorrow, so they needed to come up with an escape plan fast. They don't have another chance.'I'll tell you nothing you fucking-'Taehyung rolled his eyes as he laid another hit at the man in front of him. The back of his gun made a satisfying sound as it hit the cheek of the man, most likely breaking the bone slightly. Blood could be seen coming from the inside of the man's mouth, a broken teeth falling out with a painful moan.Taehyung made a sound as he took the piece of bone onto his hand and held it in his palm. He turned to Yoongi with a smile, who looked slightly horrified by what he just saw.'Hopefully you haven't killed the tooth fairy, because you'd get a nice coin for this beauty.' Taehyung spoke as he placed the tooth into the man's shirts front pocket, tapping it slightly. Taehyung smirked as the man glared at him tiredly.'Would you like me to repeat the Prince's question?' Taehyung asked, examining the possible damage on his beloved firearm. The man said nothing and just stared at Taehyung through tired eyes. Taehyung sighed, this wouldn't be nearly as fun if he fainted.The man stayed quiet, looking at Taehyung and then at Yoongi. Yoongi crossed his arms and tapped his feet against the wooden floor of the bar. All the customers and the owner were brought outside so that they could have their little 'private conversation' with the man rumored to be working with the auction.'We do not have all night Taehyung.' Jimin reminded the guard and his brother. He wanted to join the short trip outside of the castle to search for the black market auction, but Yoongi had to remind him that it wouldn't be a fun little trip across the land. He would see some nasty things on the way.But Yoongi was shocked to see that Jimin didn't really mind the blood and gore. Usually seeing a man being beaten to death would make some feel uncomfortable but Jimin looked surprisingly excited.Taehyung nodded his head and moved to lean down to the man's level. The blood shot eyes stared back at him in a terrifying way.'You' Taehyung spoke as he pointed a finger at the man. 'will tell me where the auction is held at.' He spoke, voice low and serious as he looked at the man while speaking. Every one there was waiting for the inevitable 'or', and Taehyung did not disappoint.'Or i will have no other choice but to take my business elsewhere.' He said. Everyone, including the man himself seemed a bit taken back for a moment as Taehyung got back up, smoothing down the front of his shirt.The man actually let out a small snort as he watched Taehyung who stood in front of him. But Taehyung wasn't shaken by this at all. The smirk he wore on his lips before never left, now turning into a evil grin as he turned his back to the man.'I see that doing some simple teamwork with you is just impossible.' Taehyung dramatically sighed, walking away with slow steps as he began to clean the case of his gun that was stained by the mans blood.Taehyung stopped on the door of the bar, looking back at Yoongi and Jimin. 'I guess we have no other choice but to go and meet with your son. What was his name again Mr Lee? Was it Junho?' Taehyung spoke, a playful sound on his voice.Yoongi caught a good glimpse of the mans face when Taehyung mentioned his sons name. It was a perfect mix of shock and fear. God, sometimes Yoongi forgot how good Taehyung was at his job.'Perhaps he will be more co operative than his father.' Taehyung murmured. 'It would be sad to leave him with a set of good teeth when his father has messed up ones. A son should always resemble his father in all ways possible, correct Mr Lee?'There was a moment of silence before everyone heard the low sigh of the man.'They are in the Birch forests field, at morrow sunrise.'Taehyung smiled as he walked out of the door, Yoongi and Jimin following him, a bit dazed.The Birch forest wasn't far away from the town. It was a long walk or a short horse ride away. The hardest part was to get through the hard terrain of the forest. The flooring was made of thick roots that came out of the soft ground. It would take hours walking through the woods to get to the middle, to the field.The field once served it's purpose as a market place, but was moved when the current town of Solaria became what it is. The field was left abandoned, but Yoongi should have guessed that something was still going on there. It was the perfect spot for gatherings after all.The field was in the middle of the four towns that Solaria ruled over. The forest once had many roads running through it, but they were all cut off and removed when Yoongi's father came into power. The reason behind that decision, Yoongi had no idea.The forest wasn't a kind one, but quite dangerous. Many bandits and thief's ruled over the area for many years once, eager to steal everything that they could from the people passing through the forest.The forest also once served as a home for the creatures of magic. That was before they almost went extinct. These days you wouldn't find any free creatures inside the forest, but a bunch in some cages seemed quite plausible.This was all going so according to his plan, that Yoongi began to become a bit more careful. Something would surely go wrong in the process of this plan, so he should prepare for the worst. Everything couldn't go to plan as that was just impossible when it came to Yoongi. Something always had to fuck something up for him. It did help that Taehyung was in the charge of this project, making it easier for Yoongi to trust his plan more.But everything couldn't always work like he would want it to.'Then what?' Jimin asked, after hearing Yoongi's plan for the first time. 'So what if we find a creature who could use magic to heal our father, when that creature could also refuse of using their magic? What if they use it the wrong way and cause the death of our father?'Yoongi stared at the fire lit inside the small camp in the Birch forest, guards all around them for protection. He moved the burning pieces of wood with a stick, watching as a bunch of small pieces of ash flew out into the star filled sky above.'I'll make sure that won't happen.' Yoongi spoke, his face lit by the light coming from the burning hot fire.'I'll make sure that our father will be cured, no matter what it will take.''He is a beauty.' The man spoke, his yellow teeth peeking through his smirking lips as he studied Jin from his cage. The men behind him nodded their heads and agreed with his words.The wealthiest and most well known collectors were given the chance to inspect the creatures before the actual auction. They were given this chance as they were most likely to actually pay a good price.This man was well known for his past of owning many fairies. Jin had heard of him in his colony before, the fairies spreading the word about the rich fat human who would steal young fairies to keep as pets. The man was wealthy and had many men under his wing, protecting him and his property.Jin was quite sure that this man would end up owning him at the end of the auction. He didn't know how to feel about that. He was happy in some odd way, knowing that the man was wealthy so he would be able to take care of him. But there was always something making things worse.The rumors were that the man de-winged his fairies. The wings would be removed when they were awake, to assure that the wings would stay in perfect shape. He would sell the wings forward for a good price, then using the fairy as his personal slave.The man was also known for something sick. He was force breeding the fairies that he owned with each other and with himself, producing more fairies to either sell or to keep for himself.Fairies are hermaphrodites so Jin would surely be a victim of this as well if he were to be bought by the man. The thought made him feel horrified.The man also had his eyes on the wolf, Hoseok.He had been wanting to purchase a wolf for quite some time already, but had been wanting an alpha. They were a rare thing to see on the auction so he really wanted the rare pack leader for himself as protection.Hoseok had good experience as a pack leader and as a protector as he lead his previous pack for many years, keeping his younger siblings safe.Hoseok opened up about is past with Jin and Namjoon while they came to the realization that they could not escape the cages. Namjoon too tried to use his own magic, but like he thought- he couldn't do nothing big without his wand that was taken away from him. His magic without it was limited to almost useless.Namjoon wasn't something that the man wanted. He knew that the witch wouldn't surrender under him easily, and he wasn't looking for something too hard to tame. Taming Hoseok was already something that would take up to years, so adding a human hating witch to the equation wasn't something that he was looking for. Namjoon would be bought by a human who knew more about witches and how to tame them.In the end they would all be bought no matter what, as they were the stars of this auction. Everyone wanted a perfect creature, and they were the perfect examples of their own races.The humans left them alone again for a moment, going to discuss the possible prices of the creatures. The rich man already voiced out his wish of laying down a high price so that he would surely get the highest call for their auctions. Jin and Hoseok would surely be sold off and to the man. Namjoon would be sold to someone different, who could possibly treat him better or worse. You never knew what you would get.Hoseok was given some clothes before the rich man came to see them, he did not want to wear them at first as he did not trust the human who gave them to him. But he wore them in the end as he too was feeling the cold air on his skin.Jin was removed from his cage for a moment, so that the people who captured him could change his clothes as well so that his price would go up. His ropes were removed that the clothes could be changed, and for that small moment he could feel his wings be free again. They ached badly, the constant feeling of the tight ropes around the delicate flesh and bones hurting him just enough to go crazy.He could not enjoy that freedom for long as the ropes were soon placed back on, after he was dressed in the clean clothes. His own traditional clothes were thrown away in a moment and Jin could do nothing but watch as his own clothes were taken away from him. The delicate woven patterns that his mother had designed onto the fabric was the only thing reminding him of her, and it was now thrown away just like trash.His new clothes were regular human clothes, that didn't fit his own body type at all. His thin waist wasn't being hugged by the plain colored shirt and the back had to be cut to fit his roped down wings. The rough material didn't fit his delicate tan skin as it rubbed against it uncomfortably. But this was better than nothing.Namjoon had also been removed of his own clothing a long time ago when he was first caught by the humans. He now wore similar clothes as Jin, having had his own clothes taken away to be searched through.Witches were known for being excellent at hiding things, so the humans were extra careful when dealing with Namjoon, removing all of his own possessions. And they were right to do this, as all of the clothes that Namjoon owned had some kind of a potion, spell or weapon on them. His wand was taken away from him the second that he was captured, now stored somewhere where he couldn't get it back.But he was set on finding it once again. 'I'll curse you all with the plague once this is over.' Namjoon hissed as a human walked in to check on them, waiving his gun around to point at them. He just laughed at the witches words and continued to walk, skipping through Jin and walking to Hoseok who growled at the human in his human form.The human guard tapped on the bars of the cage with his gun, smirking as he watched Hoseok snarl at him.'If it wasn't for the auction i would shoot you dead right there, you flighty dog.' The human murmured, flinching slightly as Hoseok jumped forward from the back of the cage.The human was thin and scrawny. He would lose in a fight instantly if it wasn't for his firearm. But he wouldn't even come near the three of them without it, but he wouldn't be able to fight away all three of them with it. Hoseok would heal from the bullet in a moment in his wolf form, easily being able to continue fighting once slightly healed.The human was playing with fire, but that was alright if he wished to get burned.It was within a second that Hoseok was able to grab onto the collar of the man and pull him against the front of the cage, growling as he looked at the guard right in the eyes.Even though having his hands tied together, Namjoon was able to reach from his own cage and grab the firearm from the man who was panicking while trying to use it when being held still by Hoseok.Namjoon laughed as he saw the horrified look on the guards face when he held the gun in his hand. 'Well, this isn't a wand. But i do think it will do just as much harm to your ugly face if i were to press this up against it.' Namjoon smirked, holding the shiny silver gun in his tied hands. 'Wont be nearly as fun as using magic, but i think it will do it's job.'The human swallowed nervously as he watched Namjoon point the gun at him. The guard had a key inside the front of his pocket. This key opened the lock to their cages. Before the human could scream for help Jin was quick to quiet him down by covering his mouth with the man's own glove. He shoved the leather glove inside his mouth, making him quiet down. Hoseok held the human in place as Namjoon went through his pockets, finding the key.He used it to open his own cage at first, then removing his own ropes and using them to tie the man. He then opened Jin's cage and let him out. Together they held the man in place as they let Hoseok free from his cage.The human shivered as he saw the golden eyed alpha stare him down when sitting on the ground, tied down.'Who were you calling filthy before?' Namjoon smirked as he watched Hoseok growl at the human, his teeth showing and the small hairs on the back of his neck standing up. The human closed is eyes and breathed through his nose quickly. He was a coward, just pretending to be something big and scary with his gun. He wasn't anything without it.The human was then thrown onto his proper place, inside one of the cages that they were in before. Namjoon made sure to lock the cage, taking the key with him. It would be a nice souvenir to look back at someday. Once having turned his back on the human, Namjoon looked at his new made friends with a smile.'Now, shall we go and find my wand so we can burn this place to pieces?' 'Holy fuck.' Jimin whispered in awe as he watched the scene in front of him, throwing away everything that was taught to him about good speech etiquette.Before their eyes, was the said field of the Birch forest that they had been looking for. Instead of a quiet and peaceful sight, they were greeted by a mass full of screaming and flames. The witches had freed themselves.Taehyung had his mouth hanging open as he watched the scene from a far. 'Well shit, you were right after all.' He sighed, having to admit his defeat. There truly still were some magical creatures left on their earth after all. Taehyung couldn't almost believe it, but he had no other choice.'Yeah.' Yoongi murmured, seeing all the chaos even from far. 'It looks like it.' He spoke, still not believing what he was seeing.The fire was most likely caused by the witches that you could hear scream pretty clearly. There was also some noise that could only come from wolves. The strong beams of light that could be seen coming through the flames every now and then indicated that there were elves as well. They hit the jackpot.With one swift command, Taehyung's men were moving quickly.They grabbed their weapons, wore their protective armor and took special measures by grabbing all the golden weapons. They could be used to fight off the wolves and elves pretty well, but the witches were a whole other thing.As Jimin told him, Yoongi now knew that a witch was able to create fire only when they had their wand. And when they had their wand, they could do anything.Jimin was nervous as he watched the army begin moving towards the scene of destruction, seeing Taehyung lead his men towards what could only be described as hell on earth. Jimin hugged the book against his chest tighter, his nails digging into the leather cover. He was so concentrated on watching what was happening in front of him, that he could not see what was happening behind him. 'What do you think you are doing?' Jimin asked, having finally noticed how his brother was dressing for battle. Yoongi stayed quiet, placing his helmet on his head and pulling his gloves on.Jimin repeated his question, stepping to his brothers side. 'You won't be able to save father when you are dead.' Jimin said, after seeing that Yoongi was ignoring his question. In act Jimin already knew what was going on in his mind.Yoongi couldn't just stay still and watch as his men fought for them. He needed to be there as well, making sure that everyone could make it out alive. He also needed this trip to end successfully, so that they could gather what they needed. The magical creatures.Jimin sighed as he saw Yoongi move to the weapons, still avoiding him. Jimin knew that Yoongi felt sorry for him, as he could not do anything about this. Yoongi himself knew how hard headed he was. Once he had his mind set on something, he wouldn't be able to remove himself from that thing until it was finished.Jimin couldn't make him change his mind about this, and no one else could either. Jimin didn't say anything as he placed the dagger of his choice into his brothers hands, before he could even spare a look towards the sharp objects.Yoongi looked at the odd looking dagger in his hands for a second, looking up at Jimin.'It is made of emerald.' Jimin spoke, the green colored dagger shining in his hands from the light coming from the fire behind them. 'I won't do magic, but it will be the fastest to stop a beating heart of a witch.' He murmured. 'I feel like those fuckers will be the hardest to kill now that they have been let free.'Yoongi felt his lips curve into a slight smile. 'Is this your way of telling me to be careful?'Even though small, Jimin still knew how to throw a mean punch. 'Oh shut up. I'm just trying to be nice for once.' He spat, his cheeks seeming a bit more red than before.Yoongi let out a laugh and nodded is head.'Also yes.' Jimin then admitted with a sigh. 'Just come back alive.''That i'll do.' * Jin let out a relieved groan as he felt the bandages leave his sides, releasing his wings. Hoseok removed the worn out ropes and threw them away to the side. He watched in awe as he saw the fairy open his wings.'Is it bad?' Jin then asked, testing out a few movements of his fragile wings. He thought that they felt a bit numb and dead, for not being used at all for the past few days of being in captivity. He had felt how the rope had been rubbing on his wings all week, probably doing at least some kind of damage. He held his breath as he waited for Hoseok's answer.There was silence, then a sigh. 'You're beautiful.'Jin turned around to look at the wolf, seeing him stare back at him without any glimpse of lie in his eyes. Hoseok was telling the truth. His wings would be alright.Jin let out a relieved laugh. 'Thank you.'In fact he must be looking like hell right now, with his human clothes on. He hasn't been able to clean himself properly in weeks or taking a good rest either. He felt and most likely also looked dead tired. But it was assuring hearing that his wings were still in their previous glory.Jin stood up on his feet, feeling the ground underneath him with his naked feet hopefully for the last time in a while. He moved his wings a few times, testing the waters.When ever he would get the chance to sleep, he would always dream about flying. When taken away the chance to fly, he could not stop thinking about it, even when sleeping.Jin felt like he could soar straight up into the sky, but he couldn't right now. He needed to help is friends.Hoseok was sure that there must be some other wolves as well, who he needed to help. Namjoon already left them to release the witches and find their wands. It seemed like that part went through pretty fine, seeing all the fire around them now. The elves were also released a moment ago, since the light and shadow magic began to happen as well. The last thing that needed to be done was get rid of all the humans. That may be either through evil or good meanings. It looks like Namjoon chose the evil way, and he was doing just fine.But Jin and Hoseok knew that they wanted to help, so that they could all leave together.Hoseok formed into his wolf self, howling at the peeking moon that could be seen through the woods. Jin stopped worrying and hopped into the air, feeling the cool breeze underneath his wings for what seemed like the first time ever.Together they moved towards the scene of chaos. The witches had already done most of the work, gathering the humans together in one spot and keeping them there. Some were already killed by the time Hoseok and Jin made it to the scene. The witches just couldn't handle their anger towards the humans, and did what their mad souls told them to do.Jin couldn't really blame them. He hated the humans just as much as they did. He just didn't think that he could find it in himself to use all that hatred to kill another being. He wasn't something like that.No matter what he has gone through, what he has seen and what he knows has happened to his people because of these humans- he still could not bring himself to kill. You could call him weak, but in his own opinion- that just made him stronger. As all the humans had been gathered together into one spot, someone had to take things into their own hands as to declaring a leader. An old witch was quick to rise to the top from all the commotion and declare some points quickly. She rose to the top of the lifeless humans, standing there with her arms up in the air.Her tattooed face and nearly black teeth looked almost demon-like in the dark fire lit night. She spoke in multiple languages, catching the attention of all. She spoke about the cursed men who would come and steal their children like she saw in her dreams before. The humans would cause harm and destruction on their way, and they must be stopped.She suggested that they should burn them all.There was cheering coming from some of the creatures around them, as some like Jin himself stayed quiet. Namjoon too looked slightly unsure on what to feel and say.The humans who were still alive and breathing were getting nervous at the witches words, hearing everything that she said. They prayed for freedom and mercy, yet this only excited the old witch.She said that they should be cursed and tortured before their inevitable death as they deserved it. She spoke of the way how they should take their bodies and use them for potions, that would then be used on the family members of the humans. She wanted revenge and she was blinded by it.Her rage driven speech was brought to an end however, when the ear piercing shot of a gun was heard from behind them all. The witch fell down as a dark bullet hole formed on her forehead. Within seconds everything began to move in slow motion.Jin could see the nets being thrown around from all angles, the creatures starting to move in hurry as they were being attacked. Jin saw the men dressed in red come through the woods in groups, carrying their weapons.Just when you thought you were free, you had to go through hell again.Just when Jin thought he could spread his wings again and fly, he was denied that.A heavy net was shot directly at him as he hurriedly tried to take cover. It was no use, as he was soon pinned to the ground by the heavy woven net. He tried to fight it, but simply just couldn't. He watched as the same happened to Hoseok and finally Namjoon as well.The flames around them were dying, meaning that the witches around them were escaping. There was a lot of screaming and shouting, that Jin didn't know where it was coming from anymore. The humans soon took over the whole field area, their guns pointed at the captured creatures.Jin swallowed slowly as he looked straight at the black pipe of a gun that was pointed straight at him. Behind that gun was a soldier with a golden helmet protecting his head, a range of weapons hanging from his waist.Jin thought his future would be set by today. He would meet his new owner and live as his slave for the rest of is life. That future was removed when they escaped from the auctioneers. When this happened Jin got his own future back. He could go and find his family and start his life all over again.But it was taken away from him again when the net was laid on him. Jin now looked at his new future through the eyes of the soldier in front of him, and he was afraid. Afraid because he couldn't see what his future held for him. But he had no other choice but to take what he was given.He closed his eyes and listened to the far away gun shots, trying to calm his racing heartbeat, but failing.Jin thought of a time when he lived with his people. In peace, at a place that he could call home. Those times were only memories now, as they could never become reality again.Jin still remembers the faces and the voices of is loved ones, thinking of them when he most misses them. A time like this being a perfect example.His family, friends and neighbors all dead. All dead because of humans. The same kind that were holding him down once again.Humans never seemed to give up. They worked alone and together to ruin the lives of the innocent creatures. They did not care about what their evil works did to the creatures behind it. They cared about a few things. Money, fame and self confidence.The humans hunted them for fun and games, like they were weak animals who you could feed off of. They used their bodies and magic until they could no longer, then throwing them away. But Jin wouldn't let that happen to himself. He would rather die than let these humans take advantage of him and his magic. He didn't care what they did to him, as long as he would stay alive. You could torture and beat him as much as you'd like, but you would never get anything out of him. He won't give them that pleasure.He won't let them take away his spirit. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Jungkook walked back and forth the hallway nervously.He bit onto his already short fingernails once more, trying to relieve his stress that was threatening to make him go crazy.The guards around him were staying quiet, avoiding eye contact as he looked at them one by one. Jungkook sighed as another minute went by, without any new information.He ran a hand through his hair, sighing as he looked at the watch on his wrist.It would be okay. Taehyung said so. 'Jungkook-ah.' His mother spoke, voice concerned because of his sons behavior. She knew how worried Jungkook could get over his friends and family. He was the only one who stayed at the castle, as she would not let him go.Jungkook's mother was already having a hard time now that her brother, the King had fallen sick. She worried over him and his two sons, Yoongi and Jimin.This all reminded her of the time when Jungkook's father had to leave for war when Solaria was at it's worst situation yet. It did not matter that he was married into the royal family, as he still needed to fight for his country. Jungkook's mother has never truly forgotten the fact that her brother could have put his foot down and saved her husband and Jungkook's father, but he instead stayed quiet.He never came back from the great war of Solaria. Jungkook had to grow up without a father from that day on, and she lost the man who she loved the most. From that day on she swore to be there for Jungkook no matter what.She promised to love and support him no matter what. No matter what others thought and said about him. She did not care, but would continue to love him unconditionally. No matter how sinful or wrong his life choices might be to others.'He'll return.' She spoke, placing a hand on his sons shoulder. 'They all will. Do not worry.' She smiled to help his son calm down, and oddly enough it did work.Jungkook closed his eyes and let his head hang between his shoulders. He nodded his head and breathed through his nose.'Thank you, mother.' Jungkook was truly blessed to have such a great mother.She understood him and chose to love him no matter what. She did not care about what others thought as she only cared about him and what he wanted. No matter how taboo it was to love another man.The castle had many secrets inside of it.Murder, secret rooms and path ways, forbidden relationships and cheating on each other. There were many stories written on these walls that you could see if you looked close enough. The paintings painted on the walls of the perfect royal family was untrue and filled with lies.There were no perfect Prince's and King, no happy smiles on their faces. That was all just a mask worn to show the outsiders that everything was alright, when it really wasn't.Jungkook knew the secrets of the royal family, being a part of it. He saw what happened behind the set and what happened when no one else was there to see.Jungkook chose not to think about it too much, as it caused an headache.He had his own ways of escaping the reality that he was born into as a part of the royal family.Taehyung was his sanctuary. When he was with him, he could forget about what was going on and just focus on him. He didn't need to remember that he was a part of the royals and he had expectations that he should fit into. None of that mattered when he was with Taehyung.But things weren't always as simple.The army leader was brought up as a guard, who learned the arts of fight his entire life. He had no other past and he knew no other lifestyle. Fighting was all he knew, ever since being a child. The royal guards were orphans, taken into the castle from many different orphanages. They would be given food and a place to grow in. They received education and had something to belong in. It was better than death, but like Taehyung said 'it wasn't a good life to be used as a puppet'.No one truly knew the guards by name. They were just seen as numbers and as servants. No one, and surely not the King knew about them in a way to truly care about them. Their only reason being alive was to secure the royals, and that was the only job that they knew. Jungkook knew Taehyung since a young age, when the other was still in training. Yoongi and Taehyung were best friends since a young age, so Jungkook also got to know the other well.It wasn't really until Taehyung became the leader of the royal army that Jungkook was truly able to notice the other. One thing led to another and here they were years later.Jungkook sometimes regretted letting himself fall for the other. A live loving a soldier would not be a easy one, but full of heart break instead. His mother knew that the best. A man loving a man was illegal and taboo, as was a woman loving a woman. But the law did not sometimes reach the castle.There was history from years ago, telling the tales of how the royal dismissed the simple law, doing as they wanted. Heterosexuality was something that was wanted from a royal family member, but it was not something that could be forced. People had their own needs and things that they wanted, that you sometimes couldn't help but do no matter how many times you were told it would be wrong. Jungkook has sinned many times, but he did not mind when his partner in crime was the man he loved. Jungkook hated that he had to hide his joy in front of the people as the good news were finally brought to the castle.The two Prince's were alright. They found the magical creatures. But most importantly, none of the royal army members were lost. The trip was a huge success, bringing the magic that they would need into the castle.Jungkook was so happy that he could burst into tears, but he did not. He knew that Taehyung wouldn't want to see him cry. It would take a few hours for the group to return to the castle. Jungkook knew that he himself would have a lot of work to do as a doctor, and that Taehyung too would be busy. The King would need to be healed. That was the first order of business for everyone, and Jungkook would stick to that order.But once this situation had died down and calmed, Jungkook knew what he wanted. * His hands burned badly, but Namjoon brushed the feeling off, covering his hands with his scarf. He looked outside of the small crack of the metal cage that he could see outside from.He blinked a few times, looking at the rising sun in the horizon. It was already morning, the morning when the auction should have been held. Now that that wasn't happening anymore, Namjoon didn't know what to think.He recognized the red and golden garments of the guards who came and took them. Namjoon had also heard the rumors. The King of Solaria had fallen ill, and they were being taken to the castle. These idiots truly expected them to help the King who was the reason behind why their people have died. They must be mad for thinking that they would get his help. His hands burned because of the previous flames. Once taken down by the net, he was pushed to the ground. There he tried to free himself using his wand, but only caused more harm to himself. The net did not burn by his magical flames, but made the flames jump back to him instead. His first reaction was to cover himself with his arms, causing them to burn. When in pain, his wand was removed from him and taken away. But the pain in his hands wasn't the biggest thing right now. It was more that his self-esteem suffered a blow once again. He hated being treated like an animal, kept in a cage. He was removed of all his rights and used as a toy like he humans wanted. He wasn't seen a person, but as something that could possibly help them. They didn't care that he had a name, face and feelings. Humans never learned their lessons. They were all alike, monsters. Hoseok, Jin and him were all kept in different cages and brought by different horse carriers. They were kept as far away from each other as possible, so that they could not communicate with each other or come up with anything.Hoseok seemed to still be in his wolf form, Namjoon hearing his howls every now and then. He sounded dead tired and beaten down. Jin's carrier was in front of his own, but Namjoon couldn't hear much from him. Perhaps he had fainted from the exhaustion.Namjoon too felt the affects of not sleeping properly for the past week. His mind and body felt almost lifeless in a way. He wanted to rest and fall asleep, but he couldn't because of the constant threat. He did not trust these humans, and he never could. Namjoon stayed up that ride, watching from the small crack of the cage, seeing the outside world for the last time in a while. The castle waited for their arrival, ready to take them in as prisoners. Namjoon had visited Solaria once before, just quickly though as witches were noticed quite quickly. He saw the castle by a short glance back then, still thinking that it looked worn out like it did now.The once beautiful castle had seen better days. It's once decorative outside looked worn out and scuffed up, with the dead plants decorating the exterior. There were a few broken windows in the abandoned side of the castle, as well as removed tiles piled up against the wall. The castle wasn't like how it was described in the story books, but nothing really was.A traditional witch was an older female. Namjoon was young and a male, which made him different from the traditional mold. But everything wasn't always as it first seemed, like him- there was no perfect example of something. No two witches were the same, and the same went with all the other creatures and even humans. They were brought inside the castle, as their cages were brought straight in through the front door. The cages were set down onto the floor and removed from the carriers.The cages were small, where you would only fit in by sitting down and stretching your legs. Namjoon wondered how uncomfortable Hoseok must be feeling since his wolf form is so much more bigger. Once set down, the door to his cage was opened.'Out.' A voice ordered but Namjoon could not see anyone. Making it easier for everyone, hopefully himself as well, Namjoon did as told and crawled out of the cage, his legs and hands tied together. Once he was out and stood up, he was immediately caught by two men who began to hold him in place. Namjoon looked around himself and saw all the weapons targeted towards him.He swallowed down a lump in his throat as he saw the green emerald blade pointed at him. The hand holding onto it belonged to someone who Namjoon could only guess was one of the two Prince's.The Price looked at him from his feet up to his face, studying the witch in front of him better. Namjoon stood still and looked at the young prince, who must be around his own age. He did not look like what he had expected.The Prince was on the skinnier side, quite short and had pale weak looking skin. Namjoon had been expecting something more stronger and powerful, but you couldn't expect much from a spoiled child who lived a comfortable life inside a castle while being fed and bathed.Namjoon held his head high in front of the so called royalty.A guard handed over a piece of paper, giving it to the Prince. He took a quick look at it before turning his attention back to Namjoon.'You are the son of the powerful witch doctor.' The Prince spoke. 'You have great experience of working with destructive magic and healing.' He spoke, reading from the paper.Namjoon should have known that there was a specific reason why he, Jin and Hoseok were chosen as the only ones to be taken into the castle. It was because all three of them had experience working with healing magic. These foolish humans actually believed that they would help the King.Namjoon had an idea that the Prince was getting all this information from the man standing near him, holding onto a book that Namjoon could recognize easily. It was a book of ancient magic.The man must be the second Prince, as he shared some similarities with the older Prince. He was quite short as well, and had similar dark eyes as his brother. He however had much more subtle details on his face that his brother did now. He most likely shared some similarities with their mother, as the older brother looked more like their father.The other prince shared a glaze at him, quickly looking away as he saw the witch stare at him.Namjoon smirked. 'Yes, that is me you are describing.' Namjoon spoke, his low voice surprising the humans around him. The two Princes did not look affected by it however.The Prince holding the deadly weapon nodded his head. 'Then i can assume that you have already figured out your purpose of being in here.'Namjoon nodded his head, testing moving his tied hands. 'Oh yes, i have a feeling. 'He sang. 'I do believe that it has something to do with the monster that you two probably call father.'The room fell in silence for a moment as everyone waited for a response from the royals. The guards, and Namjoon himself were waiting for the Princes to respond angrily and with hatred towards what the witch had just said, but they didn't expect them to answer so calmly. 'The man who has ruined yours and many other creatures lives is in the need of help.' The younger Prince then spoke. 'You may think that he deserves death and nothing else, but that would be wrong. Without him your people will suffer even more than they have already.' He spoke, trying to see eye to eye with Namjoon.But a human could never understand what is people have gone through. 'You do not know that. You know nothing of my people.' Namjoon laughed. 'A human like you could never understand what you have made my people suffer through. Especially not someone who has been sitting inside a castle for all their lives.' Namjoon spat. The younger Prince went quiet, staring at the witch for a moment. 'Perhaps i never will know what it is like, but i can still imagine it. And i can imagine what it will be like when he will be gone and what will happen to your people.'Namjoon stayed quiet. He did not believe a word that this brat was saying. He just wanted him to use his magic on the old dying King and then throw him away to be killed. Namjoon would not allow that to happen. He wouldn't surrender to allow them to use his magic on the man, but he would instead kill the man himself if he was ever brought to the King. He'd rather do that then help the man who deserved to die for what he did.The older Prince looked at him for a moment before opening his mouth again. 'It is not much that we ask of you. One spell that will heal him, and then you are let free.'Namjoon stared at him for a moment, his purple eyes feeling odd to look at for so long as they were something that neither of the Prince's had ever seen.Namjoon smirked as he spoke. 'I'll kill the fucker as soon as i see him. You go ahead and bring me to him, because i'll kill him.' He spoke, voice full of poison and something evil. The two Princes were not affected by his words, but they had enough of him for today. With one swift hand movement, the guards began to take him away. Namjoon managed to look back for a moment when he saw them open the next cage. * Jin heard Hoseok growl in his cage. He refused to turn into his human form, staying in his wolf form instead. He could not be moved from his cage as he would not turn into is human form, making it dangerous for the humans to even open his cage. They skipped over him, turning to Jin instead.Though known only by few, the werewolves had quite powerful healing powers like fairies and witches. Their healing powers came from their saliva, it healing all of their wounds and scratches even when they were deep. It would kill some poisons and viruses also, so it was strong when it came to healing.But there was no way that Hoseok would use his healing powers on the King. Instead of licking his wounds, he would end up just biting the King instead and that wasn't something that the humans needed right now. Hoseok howled loudly as the door to Jin's cage was opened. Ever since the two of them heard what went down between Namjoon and the humans Hoseok became nervous. He didn't want the humans to come near himself or Jin. Jin hopped slightly when he heard the bang against Hoseok's cage, the humans ordering him to quiet down. This just made him more nervous, growling and moving around the small cage. Jin was ordered out of his cage and pulled to stand up from his ropes.Jin couldn't help but wince when his feet hit the ground again. He stared at the marble floor and his dirty bare feet on it. He was bleeding slightly, but that wasn't the most painful part. It was the fact that the ropes all around him were much more tighter than before, hurting his wings in a way that he didn't think was possible.'The golden winged fairy.' The voice that spoke with Namjoon before spoke out again. Jin looked up from the ground to see two men stand before him. It was quite clear that they were the two Princes that had been talked about a bunch.There was a pause as Jin looked at the two royals in front of him. They did look quite different from each other, but Jin could see some similarities between the two brothers.'Your name.' The man spoke out again.Jin blinked a few times. They were asking for his name. Jin hadn't really told anyone it yet, as even Namjoon and Hoseok didn't know it.Fairy names were thought to be sacred and something that you were only allowed to hear in special occasions. All fairies got their names from songs, either sang by their parents or the colonies leader. Jin's name was sang to him by his father, before he was born but while he was still in his mothers belly.There was no two names alike when it came to fairies, and they were very well thought out. Each name held a lot of meaning behind it and told a story.Jin stared at the humans for a moment.'I cannot tell you that.' He then finally said, voice sounding worn out and tired. 'I apologize.' He added without even realizing it.He was probably supposed to act all angry and spiteful against the humans like Namjoon had done before, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it right now. Not when he was in such pain that he wanted to fall down on is knees and cry. Not when he hadn't slept or eaten properly in weeks. Not now, when he just wanted to stay alive.Jin looked pitiful and weak, but he didn't want to. He wished that he could bring himself to look stronger and braver, but he had come to a point where he just simply did not care anymore.The Prince who spoke with Namjoon earlier stayed quiet and just stared at him, but the other behind him spoke out.'I understand that.' He spoke, voice calm and encouraging. 'I have read about your kind and how you deal with your names, so i understand your reason behind not telling us.' Jin actually had to stop himself from saying thank you to the man. He had that energetic aura around him that made you trust him, and Jin had to turn his eyes back to the floor so he could stop looking at his eyes.Jin hated that he suddenly felt so guilty for not co operating with the humans, even though he didn't need to. He should feel angry, spiteful and hate them. But he couldn't do that either. He felt like he had failed is own people and he was now making things difficult for others as well.But he just simply could not surround either. Not everything that Namjoon said, but some of it- Jin agreed with him. The humans did not deserve their help in any way at all, but being so spiteful against them didn't seem like the best idea either. Jin was caught in the middle and he couldn't really do anything about it.'Take him away.' The older of the brothers suddenly said, seeming quite bored with seeing Jin stand there.Before he could even blink, Jin was pushed forward to walk. His feet were burning but he didn't do anything about it as he simply couldn't. The guards had a hard grip at his arms and the ropes, pushing, pulling and forcing him to move. He was taken up a few stairs, a few turns around some corners and then brought in front of a door. The door was locked, so one of the guards opened it and revealed a simple looking room. The room had no windows, anything on the walls or anything else that could be used as anything. The only thing that the room had in it was a thick mattress and a small table.Jin was so keen on looking at the mattress that he didn't even realize his ropes were being removed all of a sudden. He only realized this when he felt the tightness around his wings disappear. A guard ordered him not to move, but he couldn't help himself.Jin opened is wings in a second, causing the rope to fly away in one swift moment. The guards took a few steps away, their weapons raised to protect them in the case that the fairy decided to do something unexpected. But Jin wouldn't do anything right now. He let out a deep sigh as he moved his wings around slightly, enjoying the feeling of being free again.The guards around him moved slightly taking a hold of him once again. He was told to stay in place as the guards changed the ropes around his wrists into handcuffs instead. The metal felt worst than the rope in a way, but now it didn't at least rub against his delicate skin. None of that mattered right now, as his wings were free.The guards soon left him alone, locking the door and leaving a few men behind on the other side of his door. Jin didn't mind that however, as he got all is attention towards the bed at the end of the room.He almost collapsed on top of the thing, his body hitting the surprisingly comfortable mattress like his body was lifeless. Jin turned to his stomach, letting his wings flail around freely. His whole body ached and hurt a huge amount. He let out a laugh as he felt a tear fall down his cheek. He felt like he was going crazy.No matter how crazy the situation seemed to be right now, Jin still took advantage of what he had. He now had time to finally sleep, and that was exactly what he would do, because he had no idea when he would get the same kind of an opportunity again. Perhaps never.So Jin slept like a log for hours, in the midst of the sun rise outside. * Yoongi sighed as he took his seat, lifting to rest his tired feet on top of the table. Jimin said something about proper etiquette, but he wasn't honestly listening. There were so many things running through his head right now.The small conference room began to fill, as Jungkook followed Jimin and Taehyung joined them in the end. The guard removed his helmet and laid it down onto the table.'Curse those witches.' He groaned as he released his hair from the messed up bun that he usually wore. The room smelled of smoke and sweat as none of them had the time to go and clean themselves yet. This meeting was much more important.'How is he?' Jimin was the first to ask, asking Jungkook who stayed behind and watched over the castle and their father.He was a well taught doctor, who worked with their father from the start as he fell sick. But when he realized that he couldn't heal the King himself, Jungkook gathered the team of medical geniuses that Yoongi then fired a week later. Jungkook was a bit agitated by what his cousin did, but he understood in the end. He was just worried about his father and wanted him to get better.'His health has stayed the same.' Jungkook then answered, having watched over his uncle for non stop the past twenty four hours. 'It has not gotten worse, nor has it gotten better. But i have a feeling that it will only go one way during the next day.' They all knew witch way that would be.Yoongi nodded his head. 'He'll get better. Now that we have the creatures.' He spoke, crossing his arms.Taehyung laughed as he sat down onto is own seat. 'Good luck trying to get any healing magic out of that god damn dog you brought. That thing almost severed my arm when we were moving him.''I don't think the witch will be useful either. Not right now at least.' Jimin sighed. 'They are too angry right now to do any kind of cooperation, even when the end result would help them as well.'Jungkook and Taehyung nodded their heads, agreeing with what Jimin was saying. It was understandable that the creatures were mad and upset right now. If you were captured and kept in a cage, you too would be upset.Yoongi too understood this in some way, but he knew that they did not just have all the time in the world to wait for these creatures to forgive their whole race. It wasn't going to happen before it was already too late. Their father did not have much time left to wait around for a bunch of angry creatures to forgive them. They needed their magic and they needed it fast.'Well they have no other choice but to start cooperating soon, or we will have no other choice but to use tougher ways.' Yoongi murmured.Jimin stared at him for a moment. 'What do you mean by that? Torture?'Yoongi shrugged his shoulders. 'Whatever it takes.'There was silence as Jimin looked for help from the others, eyes going from Yoongi to Jungkook and finally Taehyung.'Look, Jimin.' Jungkook finally spoke out. 'Yoongi is right. We need to do whatever it takes to heal your father. The King comes first.'Jimin nodded his head, looking at the table where is precious book was placed at. 'I see.' He finally said, getting up from his seat. 'I see that none of you are any different from the man that you are trying to save. Monsters.' Jimin spat, pushing his chair away and making some space for him to leave. 'And when he dies, i am sure that you will be a great substitute to take his place. You are both heartless after all.' Jimin spoke, targeting his words towards Yoongi.The room stayed quiet as the younger Prince left the room. Everyone had their eyes on Yoongi, but didn't dare to say anything. But the silence was killing them all.'I'll talk to him.' Taehyung then suggested.'No need for that.' Yoongi however brushed of his offering. 'He'll come back to his senses.' He assured his friends, but is words weren't something to believe in. They all saw how serious Jimin had been about his words before, perhaps meaning them more than any of them could imagine.The younger Prince had always been someone with compassion and want to help others. He saw something good in everybody and wished that everyone was treated equally. That was almost impossible in their day of age right now. But Jimin still wished that things could be changed. But that was hard when everyone else around him thought so differently, Yoongi being one of them.But the older brother was tired. Tired of all this crap happening around him. He and the rest were exhausted and needed rest, and that came as the first thing right now.'If not, i'll speak with him tomorrow.' Yoongi assured the rest, as he removed himself from his comfortable seat. He wanted to go and grab a bath before sleeping until the next day. He said his quick good byes and thank you's for his friends for the successful trip that they did. He also reminded everyone to be prepared for tomorrow, as they had a lot of work to do. Jungkook and Taehyung nodded their heads as the Prince closed the door, leaving with his guards. A second later when the door was shut, Taehyung felt a body press up against himself.'Taehyung, you're a god damn idiot i hope you know that.' Jungkook murmured against his neck, is arms wrapping themselves around his middle.'I apologize.' Taehyung smiled, knowing that what he did was wrong. He did not say goodbye to Jungkook before leaving yesterday, having only gathered his army and left the castle in the search of the creatures.This was partially because he knew Jungkook was bad with goodbyes each time, but mostly because he also hated them. He hated leaving Jungkook, knowing how much pain it caused the other after his past with his father. Jungkook had a habit of losing the people that he loved to war, he didn't want Taehyung to be one of them as well.'I did promise you that i would always return, didn't i?' Taehyung sighed, holding the other tight against himself, almost like he was afraid that Jungkook would disappear. He had to loosen up his grasp on the other when he began to pull away, just like he had feared.Jungkook looked at him with his big dark eyes, bringing a hand to move away the strands of hair that were decorating Taehyung's tan face. His face was covered in dirt and ash, making him look dirty. But he was free from any cuts and bruises, and that was all that mattered to Jungkook.He sighed, looking at his lover. 'Do not say always, when you cannot fulfill that promise.'Jungkook's fingers danced on his skin carefully, almost like he was afraid to hurt the other. His touch was gentle and almost ghost like, testing the waters almost like he had never touched Taehyung before. But Taehyung did always come back home as a whole new man, having seen the things that he saw out there in battle.Jungkook sometimes heard the nightmares and whines that Taehyung let out while in deep sleep. He sometimes saw the look on his face when he studied the scars on his body. Taehyung was a mere young man, but he had seen things that no other had. It was a lot to keep in, having all those thoughts and secrets buried in your head. Jungkook sometimes helped Taehyung release some of that information that was making him mad inside.So Jungkook treated him like the most precious treasure inside the castle. He held onto him like he could break any second and fall between his fingers like sand. That would never happen as the other was so strong, but the other enjoyed the feeling. He enjoyed being loved and cared for, when that someone caring for him was Jungkook.The army men would pay big cash to see this. Their strong army leader being held by another man like he was something delicate to look after.Taehyung knew that what they were doing was wrong, but how could he stop when Jungkook's lips against his own felt so right? How could he ever say it was wrong to enjoy the touch of the other against his skin, making him feel goosebumps. Jungkook was never something wrong, but something so right. * 'I do not think it is a good idea for you to enter that room, my Prince.' The young guard spoke as he watched Jimin and Jungkook make their way down the hallway, towards the room where the witch was kept in.'The night was rough, and i do not think that he will let you enter without a fight.' The guard explained some more, telling what had happened when the two of them were a sleep. Jimin only nodded his head.'I had a feeling that might happen.' He sighed, waving the guard to come and open the door for them. He looked at them for a moment, unsure of what he should do.'We do not have much time to be waiting around.' Jungkook then said. 'The King is getting sicker and sicker each minute, and we need to use those minutes to get some magic out of these creatures instead of sitting around.' He spoke, setting down his suitcase.'The creatures need to have a medical check after what they have been going through. I need to evaluate their injuries and see what we can do about them.' He spoke, watching as the guards began to gather around them when the door was being opened.'We need you to stay outside.' Jimin spoke to the guards as he opened the door wider.'But my Prince-' The main guards began to immediately fight back, unsure of letting the two royals go inside the room with the dangerous witch. 'Seeing all of you guards around him won't make the witch feel any safer. Stay outside and come if we yell for your assistance.' Jimin spoke, voice gentle but also strict with an order. He wasn't feeling like listening to the guards talk back at him right now. He knew what he was doing.Luckily for him, the guards did as told. They unlocked the second door leading into the locked room and stayed outside as the two stepped inside.Jimin and Jungkook looked inside the dark room and looked at the seemingly lifeless body on the ground, covered in what could only be a straitjacket. That jacket was tied to multiple ropes that were locked onto the walls around them. He was completely unable to move, even though it looked like he had been trying to release himself.Though seemingly lifeless, the frame of the witch was moving with heavy sighs, as if he had been just trying to escape before they arrived. Perhaps he was just exhausted from trying to free from his chains all night.Jimin and Jungkook looked at each other before walking towards the witch.'We are here to check on your injuries.' Jungkook spoke as he set his suitcase down to the floor, since this room didn't have anything else in it than the thin mattress laid down for the witch. Giving him anything else right now could be dangerous, as he could use it as a weapon. The witch stayed quiet, keeping his eyes closed as he listened to what was going around him. Jimin paid a close look on him as Jungkook began to look through his things.Jimin looked at the tied hands that the witch had, seeing the red burned skin that was looking quite irritated and perhaps even infected. Maybe the witch was acting so calm right now just because he too understood that he needed his injuries fixed. But Jimin was proven wrong when the witch opened his eyes we Jungkook began to move closer to him.'No.' He said, lifting his head up and looking at the doctor in front of him. His voice was tired and worn out, clearly because he was exhausted. But he still hadn't lost his will to fight and try to protect himself. All Jungkook was holding was a cotton pad with some cleaning solution, but just that made the witch seem unsure of his surroundings.'It is just to clean the damaged area.' Jungkook assured him, not moving but staying close to the witch. This was Jungkook's first time dealing with someone non human, and Jimin had to admit- he was doing a great job.Jungkook wasn't scared by the witch, but he was rather fascinated by him. The purple eyed creature in front of him was more scared than he was, so that brought some kind of strength for him. The witch knew he should just let the humans do what they wanted by now, as he wasn't in a situation where he had a choice to say anything else right now. But he just couldn't let them do this. He was too afraid of the two humans, who could be lying at him right now. He didn't know for sure what they were doing would help him in the end. Perhaps this was just a way to hurt him even more. Perhaps it was just the paranoia speaking for him, but he couldn't help it.Namjoon was exhausted. He wanted to let his body fall down and fall asleep already, but he couldn't as he didn't trust his surroundings. No matter how tired and how out of it he was, he wouldn't surrender.'Don't.' He spoke, meaning it to sound more like an order for the humans. But it came out as a plea instead. He hated sounding hurt and like he needed help, but he couldn't seem to handle himself anymore.He wanted nothing more than to be healed, yes. But not by the humans who would just use him in the end. If they did that he would clearly owe them something in return, that something clearly being helping the King- which he would never do.Namjoon would rather die to his injuries than do that.Jungkook looked at the witch for a moment before turning to Jimin. The two shared a look of understanding each other. The witch didn't want their help with now, no matter how bad his injuries were. They could treat his injuries without his permission, but both of them thought that was wrong. They had no other choice but to leave the witch alone some more, hoping that his injuries wouldn't get any worse.Jungkook collected his things, making sure that everything that came with the suitcase was inside of it when he left, making sure not to leave anything behind that the witch could use as a weapon.Jimin and Jungkook exited the room, leaving the witch alone. Before leaving the area, Jimin turned to one of the guards.'Lower his ropes.' He ordered the guard in charge of taking care of the prisoner. 'He cannot even reach the ground, so what is the use of that mattress that you so kindly placed down for him?'Even after all that the witch had said, regarding him, his brother and his father- Jimin still couldn't treat the man like trash. The witch and the other creatures all deserved to be treated with respect, even when they were supposed to be enemies in this situation. But if they stayed as enemies, they would never come to an agreement and find the help for the King.They all needed to put aside their hate for each other and focus on the main point, which was making all of their future situations better by helping the King.But that seemed like something that would never happen in the situation that they are in now. * Jin looked at the door which he heard make some noise as it was being opened.The night had been peaceful as he slept for quite a while, not letting his hunger disturb his precious sleep. Jin couldn't sleep for ever though- even though he could have, as he still needed to stay awake because of his surroundings. Sleeping somewhere so unsafe was something that he thought he could never do, but he somehow slept like a baby without any problem. Jin was sure it was because of the exhaustion and lack of sleep for weeks.As soon as he saw the mattress yesterday he knew that he would pass out on it in no time. And he managed to stay awake for a few minutes before he had to close hie eyes and give up because of the exhaustion. He woke up after his sleep in a state of confusion, looking around the dark room he was placed in for a moment before remembering what had happened. He didn't remember where he was for a second and what had happened the night before. It didn't take long before the memories came back to him. He soon remembered everything and almost wished that he didn't remember some of the things that he saw. Jin still had shivers go down is spine when he thought of that old witch who's brains were blown out of her head by the royal army. The the fire and flames. Jin remembers the awful heat and brightness of the flames that caused him to go blind for a moment. The heat hurt his skin, but luckily didn't burn it.As he was free from his ropes, Jin could truly study the state of his injuries, seeing what the ropes and fire had done to him.The ends of his wings had burned a tiny bit, causing them to turn black and curve slightly. It wasn't a big deal, and his wings would heal by themselves quite quick from something like that. The deep cuts rubbed in by the ropes however would take longer to heal, perhaps leaving scars forever.The rub marks were on his actual skin, just below where his wings would start. The skin was sore and red, as the first layer of skin had been rubbed off. His wings had also been bent by the ropes, staying in an odd shape for a moment but not for ever. His wings remembered their own shape and would return back to their regular shape in a few days.Though he always cared for his wings the most, Jin had to admit that his feet had it the worst.The delicate skin not meant for walking was filled with cuts and marks that had come from walking so much. The bones in his toes ached and so did his heels as they were worn out. He had dirt underneath his toenails and scratches that looked like they were infected. It really wasn't a pretty thing to look at and he knew that as it didn't feel too great either.Jin wished to be given the chance to have a bath to clean himself. He also wished for a meal, but he wasn't sure if those things would be given to him just like that. The humans couldn't just give him something without receiving something from him. Jin wasn't sure if they wanted to use his body, but they surely needed his magic. But that was something that Jin wasn't too sure about quite yet.Jin had heard the howls and growls that Hoseok had let at night. Jin was sure that he had been hurt during the night, in order to make him quiet down. Jin couldn't help the humans if they hurt his friends, no matter how little he had known Hoseok and Namjoon for. They were the only two things reminding him of home right now, even thought the both of them were far from being family to him. They were there for him when everything seemed to be going wrong, and that was enough. The humans behind his door right now were the ones who possibly hurt Namjoon and Hoseok, and he wouldn't let them do the same to himself. The guards came in before the royals who captured them. The guards made sure that his hands were still tied down before letting the royals enter his room. His wings were let free however and this surprised Jin. This also made him feel scared as he now knew that they needed to do something with his wings.Jin tried not to let the thought disturb himself too much and tried to stay calm as the two people entered his room. He already recognized one of the two, but the other with the suitcase was someone who Jin didn't think he saw yesterday.Jin could only guess that he was someone who knew healing and medicine as the way he held the suitcase told him so. Jin wasn't surprised at all to see the suitcase open to reveal a lot of medical equipment.The younger Prince smiled at him as he walked closer to him. Jin looked at him closely and studied his each movement.'We are going through and checking all of your injuries.' He spoke, explaining the situation to Jin as the other human looked through his suitcase. Jin looked at him every now and then, making sure to look what he was taking out of the suitcase in case he would be in any kind of danger. 'We already checked on your friends, so now it's your turn to be healed.'The Prince could sense that Jin was beginning to become more stressed seeing all this around him, so he began speaking with him more to try and calm him down. 'If you would let us check on your injuries quickly we can all continue on with our day-''You didn't heal the others.' Jin the said, confusing the prince.The Prince looked at the other human for a moment, both looking equally confused with what the fairy had just said. Jin wasn't someone who you could just lie to so easily. He could tell when he was being tricked.Everything inside the suitcase was almost untouched and in it's original shape. They never used any of those healing products on Namjoon or Hoseok and Jin could tell that. He didn't know why the humans would lie about something like that, but whatever the reason might be- he no longer trusted them. 'Come back when you have done what you said. Heal their injuries first, as they have suffered more.' Jin spoke turning his front away from the humans, looking towards the side instead.There was silence, as the Prince and doctor looked at each other for a while. They didn't say anything as they gathered their things and left the room.Jin, biting his lips because of the pain from his injuries, wished that he had done the right thing. * 'No.'Jimin said as soon as Taehyung was told the reason behind why their health-check-trip had been so short, Jungkook telling him that it was a fail. Taehyung had become quiet for a moment before Jimin realized what he was thinking about.'We do not use force. Not now.' Jimin explained, seeing that Taehyung was waiting for his explanation.'Jimin, nothing is happening. We need to get things going quickly or we will lose something important. Something that you must have forgot about already, that something being your father.' Taehyung murmured, looking at Jimin with an expression that was heard to read. Was he, almost disgusted by him because of some reason?Jimin looked at the two in front of him, both seeming to agree with each other. Jimin couldn't win against the popular vote, especially when he knew that his brother would support their idea as well as he was the one to support it from the start. 'I'm sorry Jimin but we need to do what is best for the King.' Jungkook spoke, trying to find some middle ground with this never ending fight. 'You'll thank us one day when Solaria gets back on it's feet thanks to this.'Jimin bit his lip, not wanting to agree.Using force- which meant torture by it's nicer name- was something that Jimin was so against of. He would never dare to use it to get something that he wanted from others, and he never would. Forcefully making the creatures use their magic on their father was something that had been talked about ever since the start, but Jimin didn't want to believe it. He wanted to believe in his own skills of being able to make the creatures trust them enough to come to an agreement. So even thought he hated it, he had to admit it. He had failed and needed to deal with the consequences now. Unless he could come up with something.'Give me one day.' Jimin then spoke, placing his book down onto the table, opening it to look through it. 'I just need one day with the three of them and if i fail, then i'll allow you to do what you need to.'Taehyung sighed, almost opening his mouth to argue with the prince. But he stayed quiet in the end. He realized how important this was to Jimin.Taehyung had seen torture, done it and an experienced it himself. It was something that was taboo for a reason and he knew to do it in a situation when it was the only thing left. If Jimin had a plan that could work, then of course he should try it out.'You have till eight in the evening.' Taehyung said, reaching to shake Jimin's hand. The young prince stared at it for a moment, before reaching out and shaking it.'Deal.' * Yoongi, though seemingly cold and emotionless, was someone with a warm heart and compassion. He hated seeing the people he cared for in pain, his father being one of them. Jimin being number one.He knew that the other was a kind soul who wouldn't even hurt a fly who had gotten stuck. Jimin had always been like this, ever since their mother passed away when he was young. He learned to cherish the people around him and feared that they would also leave him. He wanted to protect everyone and make everyone happy, but that wasn't always possible and he had to learn that the hard way.Yoongi wished that Jimin didn't need to see all of this happen. Their father being sick, their country falling apart and their people dying right in front of them. But he couldn't protect the other for ever.Jimin knew how to fight and protect himself, and he even knew how to kill. Those all were skills that he had been taught before, just like Yoongi had been. But the elder wished that his brother wouldn't have needed to learn all of those things. They changed him, seeing how he went from the smiling child into a changed adult in no time. Yoongi began to wonder if he too once had that youthful smile on his face, when he didn't know a time of fighting, killing and torture. He honestly couldn't imagine himself as that, having lived his current lifestyle for so long already.Being a royal sounded like an easy job that you were born into, but it was more like a curse to Yoongi.Being the eldest son of the King, meant that he would take that place one day. Yoongi would face the same future as his father did, and the inevitable death also. Yoongi would be forced to marry someone, as well as have children. Those were all things that he wanted in the future, but not by force. He would like to find a companion who he would get to know first before marriage. But that wasn't possible as a heir to the throne. He would be forced to marry someone with a royal descent.But Yoongi is also relieved in a way. As this means that Jimin doesn't need to go through those things. Yoongi has to keep himself alive and well, so that Jimin doesn't need to take his place. He wants his younger brother to have a proper life full of the things that he wants to do. Even when that means that Yoongi has to give up his own life. Jimin is kind, smart and he understands people better than Yoongi does. There was a time when everyone around them favored Jimin over him, and Yoongi could totally understand that now. He was a proper devil as a young child.Jimin liked to read books, study about subjects that interested him and travel the country to meet their people in need. Yoongi hardly ever did any of those things, having so many things to do inside the castle.So Yoongi knew that Jimin would not let this go. He wanted to help the magical creatures and help them understand why their father needed healing. It was an impossible mission, to make them heal the King, but Yoongi had some faith in him. Jimin wasn't the type to give up.So Yoongi wasn't that surprised when he heard the news from Taehyung. 'Excuse me?' Yoongi laughed out, finding it quite troubling trying to understand what Taehyung and Jungkook were telling him. 'What?'Jungkook sighed and told Yoongi not to get mad. 'We said, Jimin has taken it as his own challenge to heal the creatures.''How will he do that without you?' Yoongi asked, confused to why Jimin wouldn't take Jungkook with him as he was the doctor.Taehyung shrugged his shoulders. 'Told us that he didn't need any human healing.' Taehyung spoke, making the situation even more confusing.Yoongi thought for a moment, that perhaps Jimin had seen something in his book that could have been helpful in such a situation that could help with healing, but he was doubtful. He was in the middle of asking another question from the two when it hit him.Jimin didn't need human healing when the three creatures already had healing powers. He just needed to bring them together.'Yoongi?' Jungkook asked, seeing Yoongi freeze in place. 'What is it?'Yoongi said nothing, just looking at the two as he began moving. Taehyung and Jungkook threw a look at each other before going after the prince.'Gather the guards!' Yoongi spoke to the two as he ran before them, heading towards the abandoned side of the castle. 'Jimin is bringing the creatures together so then can heal from each other.' He explained as Jungkook ran after him, while Taehyung went to gather the guards.'But then they can use their powers against us again.' Jungkook realized as he was struggling to keep up with his cousin. 'And they'll be together to do it.''Exactly.' Yoongi growled as he ran up the stairs. * Jin was surprised to see the human return to his room so quickly. He however did not have such a good feeling about him returning to quickly. The reason why they left even in the first place was because Jin asked them to go heal Hoseok and Namjoon first, but Jin doesn't think that they were able to do it yet. So why was the younger prince back already?Jin had a few guesses, but he could have never guessed that he would be taken to Hoseok all of a sudden. The prince brought guards with him, ordering them to tie him again. Jin stayed quiet and still as he was being tied again by the ropes. The prince exited the room and he was brought with him, pulled by his ropes.He walked along the hallways, trying to make sure that he would remember the rooms and ways across the long hallways they were walking along. They walked through stairs and many turns, making it too hard for him to remember the way back. This was all according to plan, so he couldn't remember Hoseok's room anymore once he would be brought back.Jin wasn't even too sure if he would see Hoseok behind the door that was now in front of him, as the only thing said to him was that he would be brought to the wolf. The humans could be easily lying to him, just so that he would be easier to trick into doing things. But Jin couldn't help it and be stupidly positive. Hearing the mention of Hoseok's name was enough to make him feel hopeful again, even when that could cost him his life.But the prince did not trick him in the end. Jin was soon able to hear the familiar sounds of Hoseok's growls and howls as he was getting closer and closer to the room at the end of a hallway.The guards opened the door, revealing a dark room with seemingly nothing inside of it. When Jin was pulled inside by the guards he was finally able to see the black wolf in the back corner of the room, shaking and showing teeth as he looked at the many guards.Jin kept his eyes on the golden eyed wolf, staying still as his ropes were removed. Hoseok stared back at him and licked his lips, now whining.'He is injured.' The prince then spoke, making Jin look at him. 'And i know you can heal him.' He continued, voice calm and assuring. Jin didn't understand why he was given this chance.'Why?' He then finally managed to get out, staring at the prince as the guards around them moved quickly. 'Why are you letting me heal him?'Jin expected many answers, but he did not expect a smile. 'I felt though as if you would be the best to help in this situation. You heal the wolf, and let him heal yourself. The witch will be up next.' He explained, looking over at Hoseok who growled at him when he did so. 'This way you all will be healed and we can speak about working together in a whole new light.'Jin stayed quiet. There was always that thought of the King that kept on resurfacing every now and then. Jin hated to admit it, but he would be willing to heal the King already. Just so this all could come to and end. He didn't want to be tortured and blackmailed by these humans. If this all could be stopped by healing the King, then so be it. Jin didn't care about Namjoon's thoughts anymore. Healing the King would save them all, so he would gladly do the selfish thing and save them all. Namjoon could or could not just thank him later, he didn't really care anymore.Eventually the ropes were off of him. Hoseok was still tied down and pushed up against the wall, as he feared the humans around him.Jin could see the dried blood on his black fur, making him look dirty. Hoseok must have already done some healing on himself, but he cannot reach every wound. Jin could already see one big wound on his back that he couldn't heal by himself.Once free, Jin was pushed forward.Hoseok didn't know how to react, seeing all the humans near him in the small room. Seeing Jin made him feel better, but also more nervous. He didn't like seeing Jin speak with the humans, as if they had made some deal. But Jin wouldn't hurt him, right?Still, he growled as the fairy walked up to him, showing teeth and trying to push himself further up against the wall.'It's alright.' Jin spoke as he lowered himself to the floor next to Hoseok. Jin knew that in such a state of horror and nervousness Hoseok could potentially hurt him by accident when scared, but he trusted the other. He had only known Hoseok for a moment, but he could sense that he was someone who you could trust. Jin hoped that he too gave such a vibe.'I am not going to hurt you Hoseok.' Jin spoke as he moved, making sure that Hoseok knew what was going on so that he wouldn't get surprised by anything. He spoke out everything that he was doing and going to do, so that the wolf could relax and trust him. Jin moved his fingers through the matted fur, finding the wound that was still leaking blood and puss. Hoseok let out a whine and Jin hushed him.'It's okay.' He assured the other. 'I'll heal you.' Jin spoke and looked at Hoseok. His golden eyes stared back at him, his heart beating fast and taking in heavy breaths. Hoseok was unsure, but he trusted him. He blinked is eyes once and never looked away from Jin.Jin threw a look over his shoulder, seeing that he had quite the audience. The prince and all his guards were standing right behind him, looking at what he was doing. Some of them still had their guns pointed and weapons ready, not making the situation any easier for Hoseok. Jin couldn't really do anything about it either, as he didn't dare risk anything right now. He just wanted to heal Hoseok right now.So, ignoring the humans watching, Jin placed his hand on top of the wound and closed his eyes.Magic worked differently with every creature. Witches had to learn their magic but be born with the gene, as wolves knew their healing magic and how to use it since birth. Fairies had the talent of magic, but had to learn it from other fairies.Jin specializes in healing, also knowing a bunch of other magic like fire, ice and other natures elements. He has never used his magic for bad, and only for good intentions.Self defense was something that was taught to every fairy, but Jin never got the chance to use it. His village being destroyed happened to fast that he did not have the time to do anything else than escape. He actually sometimes feared his magic and the power that he held in his hands. He could hurt someone, though not wanting to. But healing was is specialty, and something that he enjoyed doing. Knowing that he could make someone feel better and save them was a feeling worth doing.When healing brought himself so much joy and to others, Jin began to re think the whole King thing. He has been going back and forth between what Namjoon has been saying all this time and what the humans have done to him and his family, while also remembering what he was taught as a healer. Everyone should be healed, and forgiven.As Jin began to heal Hoseok, his wings glowing and hands letting out the spells, he began to wonder.Does the King deserve to be forgiven? ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Jimin looked at the scene in front of him in awe. He watched how the glow began to rise from the fairies wings and traveled into his hands. From there the glow seemed to almost ooze out and drip onto the wounds of the wolf. The golden glow almost resembled water, flowing naturally and smoothly. But it also seemed to have a life of it's own, moving in swirls and surprising ways before getting to it's destination. It was breath taking.The fairy kept his eyes closed, focusing on his movements and spell making. The wolf also relaxed, staying put in one place and he stopped growling. Jimin wondered what the magic must feel like when it it healing you.Is it painful? Does it bring you pleasure? Perhaps it made you feel like you were floating on air or like when you have enjoyed a good bottle of whine. The healing process was short. It only took a moment as the fairy healed the one wound, as the magic did it's work on the inside as well, healing all the other wounds as well. The smaller cuts and wounds could be seen glowing up as well before disappearing completely. It was truly a magical scene to be looking at. Jimin was grateful.Once done, the fairy came back to his senses, almost like he woke up from a trance. He had to take support from the wolf so he wouldn't fall down to the floor.There was a pause as everyone was waiting for something. Jimin finally realized what they were waiting for, a permission.'Now the wolf may heal you.' He spoke, taking a few steps closer to the two. The wolf didn't seem to mind, only looking at Jimin for a moment before he turned to the fairy. Perhaps he to was feeling a bit tired and worn out by now, not having the strength to keep on acting strong in front of the humans. In fact he was tired and wished to just fall asleep and not wake up.But he was not given that chance. Not when he was a prisoner inside the castle.The fairy slowly lifted his hand and placed it near the wolf's nose. Jimin could see the small cuts and bruises on his palm, the wolf also looking at them before licking the wounds carefully.Unlike the magic that the fairy did, there was nothing fancy and pretty about the wolf's healing magic. The magic was inside the spit, that slowly healed the wounds of the fairy. You could see how the wound became smaller and smaller until it disappeared completely, not even leaving a scar.The wolf healed the rest of the fairies wounds, working from his feet to the rubbed skin on his back. It was fascinating to see, and Jimin wanted to see more. He wondered what the witches healing magic looked like, and if it looked anything like the fire that they could produce. Perhaps the magic that the witches made would feel different, or even hurt slightly. Jimin was fascinated by these creatures and wanted to learn more. But that thought was caught when the door to the room opened with a slam and light was let inside the room.Jimin turned around to see no one other than Yoongi stood there in the doorway, looking at the scene in front of him.'You.' Yoongi spoke as he pointed straight at him, walking up to him and pushing him to the side. 'Get out right now.' He warned, a group of guards following him right behind.The wolf became wary again, growling and showing teeth to the new people who entered the room. The fairy looked around quickly, staying right next to the wolf.Before he could even act out on anything, he was met face to face with a gun pointed straight at him.Jin swallowed slowly as he looked at the prince holding the gun. 'Up.' He ordered him and Jin stayed still for a moment, his grip on Hoseok's fur becoming tighter. He then shook his head.He did not want to leave Hoseok's side, but stay near him and feel safe for the first time in many days. He did not want to go with the humans again and play as a button in their evil plans. He already felt like he had been used and taken advantage of, and he did not want to do so again.He didn't want to do as told, but he had no other choice when he was suddenly grabbed by the front of his clothing.Jin let out a surprised sound as the Prince took a hold of him, pulling him up. Without even realizing it, Jin had grabbed the bare skin of the humans arm as he did so, tightening his grip on the bare skin before even realizing it. Jin felt the static electricity move through him, and he could see that the human felt it as well. Jin was quickly thrown to the side, where the guards took a hold of him. Jin didn't fight back or try to make things harder. He was too shocked.Not because he was just pointed at by a gun, or because he was thrown to the side like a piece of trash. Not because of any of those things, but because he had just used harming magic on the human.Jin looked at the Prince as he was being tied. He felt how someone pushed him a bit too hardly, or how one of the guards definitely stepped on his hand by purpose. But he couldn't feel any of those things right now. All he could feel was the burning gaze of the human who stared at him.Jin looked at him for as long as he could, not saying anything as he couldn't find anything to say, before he was taken away. The howls of Hoseok ringing in his ears as he was being dragged across the hallways.* 'What on earth were you thinking?' Yoongi growled, making the guards behind him jump in their places. His loud voice rang in the small conference room, traveling behind the doors and into the hallways. Jungkook, sat next to his cousin, looked at Taehyung for assistance in such a moment. But even the head guard was afraid to say anything when the Prince was filled with such anger. Everyone was quiet, looking at the prince and trying to read his expression.Yoongi was filled with anger, face red and mouth opening with heavy puffs. Jungkook was close with his cousin, and could usually calm him down with a joke or something stupid, but he didn't dare to say anything in case he would anger him more.Jimin however wasn't afraid of that.He smiled like an angel and looked at his brother, arms crossed and feet up on the table. 'I don't see what the problem is.' He spoke, looking at Yoongi with a sheepish expression. 'I did as told- make sure the creatures get cured.'Yoongi slammed his hand onto the table, making even Jimin lose his smile for a second. 'But who on earth gave you the permission to let them heal each other?' He asked, looking around him. 'The fucking guards? Jungkook, Taehyung?' He named everyone, looking at Jimin as the others became restless.'No one gave you the permission, because i'm the one in charge.' He said, walking up to his brother. 'I might seem like someone who is easy to play around with because you're my brother, but you too need to remember your place.' Jimin looked at his older brother who now stood in front of him.Yoongi wasn't joking around, he was dead serious. Jimin didn't find a reason to keep smiling anymore and pretending like he had done nothing wrong. He did the most dumbest thing that you could have done in a situation like this, but he cannot say that it wasn't the right thing to do.'I do know my place.' Jimin then spoke. 'It is right here, underneath you.' Yoongi stayed quiet and listened to his brother speak, the rest doing the same.'No matter what i'll do i'll always be the brother of the prince who will be the heir to the throne. I'll never be as important as you.' Jimin spoke, removing his feet from the table.'But that doesn't mean that everything i do is wrong.' He said as he got up. 'You might see it as something wrong, but that is just because you are too blind to realize the truth.''I healed those creatures, so they can stay alive to heal our father.' Jimin explained, looking at his brother who now avoided his eyes. 'Perhaps you will realize that one day, that it was for the best.' He continued, hoping to get something from Yoongi. But the other stayed quiet. Jimin swallowed once, looking down at his clenched hands. 'Father will die sooner or later, and you know that.'The atmosphere in the room changed again, now from the awkward silence into a deadly one. Taehyung watched as Jungkook bit into his lips nervously, his eyes looking at both of his cousins frantically. The guards around them didn't even dare to breathe anymore, as they feared to become the cause of something as the two Princes were upset. Taehyung too became careful of is own movements and stayed still, watching the scene in front of him.'Yoongi.' Jimin called out for his brother. 'I know it is frightening. But you cannot run away from your future forever.' Jimin explained, trying to make Yoongi understand where he was coming from.'These creatures don't owe us anything.' He finally said with a laugh. 'They don't need to do anything for us and our father. If nothing that a human can do for him works then it is time to let go.' Jimin pleaded.Yoongi stayed still for a moment before nodding his head. 'I see.' He said with a sigh.'I see that you have chosen a side, that is different from the one of a royal family member.' He spoke, voice low. Jimin swallowed as he stared at his elder brother.'I guess so.' He finally said, with a sigh. 'Now even you cannot protect me from what is about to come. I know my place as a traitor.' Jimin spoke, now looking over at the table where Jungkook and Taehyung were seated at.Jungkook slowly shook his head as he looked at Jimin, mouthing out the word no over and over again.Jimin turned away with a sad smile, looking to the side where a group of guards stood at. Yoongi watched as Jimin raised his hands as a mark of surrendering. 'I, Prince Jimin, am in favor of letting the King of our country die, instead of helping him be cured from his sickness.' He spoke. 'I am nothing better than the creatures right now in their prison cells, who wish him nothing but death.''I surrender as a traitor.' He said, with a bittersweet smile dancing on his lips. * Taehyung just managed to come in between Jungkook and Yoongi, before the younger would have thrown his clenched fist against the prince's face. 'You're not helping right now.' He murmured as he took a hold of his lover, keeping him away from Yoongi who stood a few steps away from them.Jungkook let out a scream as he tried to free himself from Taehyung's grip, his face pressed up against his chest. Jungkook breathed loudly, trying to push Taehyung away but just failing. He screamed once more, blinded by his own tears that began to run down his red cheeks.'It's all your fault!' He screamed at Yoongi, sniffling as he tried to calm his voice down. But he couldn't and sobs escaped his lips one by one. 'It's all his fault.' He now murmured against Taehyung's chest.Taehyung stayed quiet, hushing his lover and looking at Yoongi. The guards exited the room with Jimin, taking him to his own cell. There really wasn't anything that could be done at the moment, as Jimin let himself be taken by the guards as he admitted to doing a crime. But that didn't mean that Yoongi couldn't have done something, or at least said something to try and stop what was happening. He was too taken back by what was going on.'You should leave.' Taehyung then spoke, having helped Jungkook calm down to a point when he no longer fought to leave his arms.Yoongi said nothing, as he finally forced his feet to move for the first time in a while. He dragged his feet along and exited the room, hearing Jungkook cry out after him. Yoongi didn't know what to do, really.But seeing as he has done so many bad decisions lately, why not add another. So when leaving the conference room, Yoongi targeted his steps towards the stairs and up them.Yoongi couldn't remember how long it had been, but he had to say it had been days since he last payed a visit to the King.The room was still filled with many people. Doctors and nurses crowded the room and they preformed all kinds of medical operations to help their father live on a moment longer. Yoongi wasn't sure how long he could make it. Perhaps he would be dead by tomorrow for all they know.As soon as he entered the room with a knock, the medical staff around him began to move. One of the doctors told him about his fathers current state, but he couldn't really hear it or remember it by the time he was next to his father. All he could really comprehend was the fact that they said, it wasn't looking too good. You didn't need a fucking genius to see that. He was rotting away. The once fitting crown on his head now laid beside his bed on the table, his fathers eyes sunken in and skin pale. His once well fed imagine was shrinking away as he no longer ate or drank anything. He last spoke few weeks ago, and he no longer opened his eyes.Yoongi looked at the man on the bed, and he couldn't really bring himself to call him his father, his King or a human anymore. Yoongi was looking at a corpse, who was still barely breathing.Yoongi sighed shakily as he sat down onto the chair next to the bed. He looked at the skinny hand that was neatly placed on top of the bed covers. The fingers were thin as sticks that could be broken easily, the golden rings on them looking way too big.Yoongi held his breath as he took a hold of his fathers hand.It felt odd, holding his fathers hand for the first time.Yoongi had once seen the books that Jimin had left open when they were young. The books that told about a perfect royal family, with loving parents and well behaved children. Their kingdom were in great shape and everyone lived together in harmony. Yoongi lied when he was asked why he burned the book, and when he said he did it just to annoy his younger brother. The truth hurt too much.Yoongi and Jimin never held their fathers hand, never hear him talk to them by their names and call them his sons. Never were they told that he loved them and cared about them. He did give them shelter, food and education but that was it.Everyone inside the castle had to respect the King. It was criminal not to.Jimin broke the number first rule, and just because he was being truthful. Yoongi was too big of a coward and selfish to do the same. He was so fucking afraid of what was about to come. He hated this man more than anything, and yet he had no other choice but to wish for his healing. Otherwise he would need to take his place, and he did not wish for that yet. Not when he was so young and Solaria was in such trouble. He could not make things better by himself and without the help of his father. Though a lousy leader and a King, he still knew more about leading a country than Yoongi.Jimin was right, Yoongi was wrong. And he would continue to be wrong due to his selfish reasons.Yoongi held onto the unfamiliar hand and squeezed it tighter, looking for any kind of reaction. There was none.He let his head hang low and look down at his feet for a moment, before eventually closing his eyes.'It's your son, Yoongi.' He finally spoke out. 'I apologize for not visiting you more. Things have been a bit crazy lately.' He said, pausing. He felt stupid, speaking to a man who possibly couldn't even hear him anymore and who couldn't react any way. Yoongi felt like a fool, but he fought over that feeling and continued with a sigh.'You aren't going to get better like this. I think you also know that.' Yoongi let go of his fathers hand and placed it back onto the bed, just preferring to look at him instead. The hand was also too cold to hold onto, and it felt wrong. 'But we will get you help.' He added. 'The help wont be coming from humans however, but i do not think that matters anymore at a situation like this. We will try everything until we are out of ideas.' Yoongi swallowed deeply. 'Then we'll just pray.'There was a moment when Yoongi could have sworn that he saw some movement in his fathers fingers, but that was just the cue for him to leave. He was becoming crazy inside the room.He got up from his seat and headed out of the room, throwing one last look at the man in the bed over his shoulder before opening the door and stepping out. He walked fast in order to avoid the medical team, but he still somehow got caught by one of them.'My Prince.' A nurse called out and ran after him. 'I apologize for bothering you like this, but i just couldn't let you go so easily.' She murmured out and bowed many times for bothering him. Yoongi was mostly just confused why she came to speak with him at all.'I see that you are injured.' She then said, confusing Yoongi. She then proceeded to gesture towards Yoongi's arm that was revealed as he only wore a shirt that had it's sleeves rolled up.Yoongi hummed out of surprise as he saw the odd looking pattern that had showed up on his skin. It looked like a lighting had struck him, bruising every single blood vessel that was on his arm. It was actually quite beautiful looking. 'May i?' The nurse spoke, breaking Yoongi's silent thoughts. He simply nodded his head and let the elder woman take a look at his arm. 'I have never seen anything like this.' She spoke in awe as she looked at the odd pattern closely. 'I don't even have a guess of where this could have came from-''I do.' Yoongi then said, stopping her mid sentence. She blinked a few times and looked at him, but didn't have the time to respond by any way as Yoongi was soon on the move again. He quickly excused himself and left the area, running down the stairs. * 'How far are you willing to go just to prove a point?' Taehyung asked as he looked at his friend sitting there on the floor. Jimin hugged his knees, back against the cell wall. He was removed from his royal clothing and only allowed to wear his regular clothing underneath. His book was taken away from and everything else as well, like his shoes.He stayed quiet as he watched Taehyung walk behind the bars, rubbing his temples due to the headache that was threatening to come bother him due to all this stress. 'Jimin.' Taehyung sighed and stopped walking. 'You won't win this fight like this. You'll be killed for what you said before you'll even see any change.' He spoke, trying to make Jimin believe him.'Look, all you need to say it that you changed your mind. You're the prince and apart of the royal family. They will believe you and this all will be forgotten.' He tried to make the other change his mind, hoping that Jimin would come back to his senses. Jimin wanted to prove a point to everyone, showing them that Solaria was so messed up that even the royals were now turning against each other. But change so big couldn't happen from just one person. Jimin would sacrifice his own life for nothing, while Solaria would continue living like it always did.The royals were at the top, the humans next. The magical creatures would always remain at the bottom and be treated like trash by everyone else. They would always be hunted until they just stopped existing. This was obviously wrong, even in Taehyung's eyes, but that was just how things had always been and they will probably always be. Jimin smiled as he looked at the wall in front of him. 'It would be that easy, right?' He murmured. 'Just to say sorry and that i was lying? I would be let back in the castle and taken is as a member of the royal family again just like nothing had happened.' He spoke and Taehyung nodded is head.'What would the hundreds of people think who have been murdered for cursing out the King if they could see me?' Jimin asked as he turned to Taehyung. 'What would the people say who once tried to make our country better by taking over the castle and dethroning my father? Would they wish the same for me or something worse?''Oh for gods sake Jimin!' Taehyung then bursted out, yelling as he it his hand against the bars, making the sound of metal ring in the room. 'You're not the fucking revolution!' He yelled and looked at his friend. 'You don't have to fight this war alone, and none of us do. You are being too foolish for thinking that this will do anything at all.'Jimin smirked. 'Oh it's doing something.' Taehyung just stared at him for a moment before letting his grip loosen on the bars of the cell. Nothing he would say made Jimin change the way he was thinking, and that was because he was right.Jimin was brave enough to speak for them all who were too afraid to speak their mind. Taehyung knew that the country that he worked for and the man he promised to keep safe for his own life was wrong. The King was a lousy man who didn't deserve his tittle and place on the throne, but he had to stay quiet. He had a whole army to look after, who he could not let down.He made a promise when he was made the leader of the army, and that was to take care of the royals with all his might. They never did say who was to be put as first, though.Taehyung leaned against the bars and looked around him for a moment, not seeing any guards around.'I'll get you out of here.' * Hoseok was woken up by the voices he could hear behind the walls surrounding him. He opened his eyes and was shocked to see everything in color suddenly. He moved and realized he was in his human form. There was a moment of panic and fear as he looked around his cell to see if the humans were still there, but they had left.They had left clothing for him next to his mattress, and some water. Hoseok moved to sit up and looked at the for a moment. Hell, if the water was poisoned then he would gladly drink it so he would get out of this place.He drank the water greedily, leaving some to clean his face with. As cleaning himself, Hoseok came to the realization that he had been healed. The visions of what happened before suddenly came back to his mind and he remembered what the fairy did for him.He healed him with magic as the humans watched, and he did the same. His infected wounds and burn marks were taken care of and he was no longer in pain because of it. This was the reason behind why he had transformed into a human during the night, as he no longer felt like he had been in danger while sleeping. This was the first time he had been in his human form since being brought into the castle. He spent a while looking at the clothes on the floor, wondering if he should wear them or not. But he gave up in the end and wore them due to the cold.Due to changing into his human form during the night, the chains fitted for his wolf form no longer fitted him and were too big to wrap around his ankles and wrists, so he was set free from the big metal chains and was able to move freely around the room.Once wearing the plain shirt and pants, Hoseok sat back down onto his bed and listened. He could hear steps behind the door, as guards walked back and forth. He could hear the sound of water hitting the roof, as it was raining. But all of those noises were almost drowned out by the sound that woke him up in the first place.Hoseok moved and pressed his ear against the wall and closed his eyes.His hearing and vision was much better thanks to his werewolf powers, so he could hear outside pretty well and hear what was causing all that noise. He focused and tried to make out what was the cause of that sound.Hoseok's eyes opened quickly as he realized what he had heard. 'Kill the Prince, kill the traitor!' The crowd of humans shouted together. 'Kill the creatures, off with their heads!'Hoseok pulled away slowly, blinking his eyes a few times as he tried to figure out what this meant. Well, it was quite simple actually.The humans knew that he the witch and the fairy were inside the castle, and clearly did not like it. Why they were screaming for the death of a prince- that Hoseok did not know. Hoseok remembered the two Princes, who showed quite different sides.The older one was strict and hated him and the rest of the creatures, his brother showed compassion and wanted to help everyone. Hoseok could sadly understand who the humans would like more.Hoseok sighed as he laid down on the mattress. 'What a shame.' * Yoongi hid his odd injury by pulling down his sleeves as standing in front of the guards. He cleared his throat and stood straight in front of them.'I ask all of you to act as professional as possible in such a situation. The situation seems much more serious than it actually is. We just need to handle it accordingly and the situation will die out eventually.' The word of creatures being inside the castle was let out to the humans by someone. Yoongi would have liked to blame someone from the castle, but their small trip to the local bar full of people a few days ago could have also been the reason why everyone suddenly knew, as they went to look for clues about the black market auction.Then again the humans also know of what Jimin had done, meaning that the word got out from the castle.Whatever the reason might be, it doesn't matter at the moment. The only thing that matters now is the fact that they need to make the situation better.The people were angered by the rumors of Jimin being a traitor of his country. They wanted him to suffer for him crimes and be treated as the traitor that he said he was. They also wanted the creatures out of the castle and killed. They did not trust the royals who worked together with the creatures who they all hated and have been hunting for years.Yoongi could not kill Jimin, nor the creatures. The people needed to either calm down or be taken down. Yoongi didn't really care which option they chose, as long as they stayed away from the castle. The humans were waiting behind the front gates, yelling and lighting their torches to fight off the darkness and to make themselves look more dangerous. Some of them held weapons, bringing their farming equipment and swords. A guard even brought news of seeing a few guns as well. This could turn ugly quickly if something wasn't done.But Yoongi had faith that this would not get out of hands. Everything was already such a mess that he just couldn't bring himself to be bothered with this as well right now. He had to speak with Jimin, he needed to talk with his guards and also find some time to speak with his advisers. It was already nearing evening, making the hours go past faster.He also had to something with the odd injury on his arm, and he perhaps should take care of that immediately, but he had no time right now. Not when Solaria was falling down right before his eyes.So Yoongi hid his arm, making it easier to forget about the odd pattern that could be seen there and continued with his work.He wasn't in any pain or felt any irritation from the mark, it was just odd looking. Yoongi however did remember where the injury came from, as he earlier met with his brother and the creatures he was with.Yoongi remembered being scared for Jimin, seeing him so close to the two creatures that were together. The fairy was let free from his ropes, making it easier for him to act out against them. Yoongi was foolish for acting so quickly and hurriedly, making everyone stay on their feet once he entered the room. Pointing a weapon surely didn't make things any better either.Yoongi remembers seeing the fairy look straight at him, his eyes shaking and breath caught in his throat as he saw the gun pointed at him. He seemed scared and small suddenly, looking so vulnerable in front of him.That changed when he spoke for his wolf friend, not doing as told. Yoongi didn't like that the creature didn't do as told, acting out before even thinking about it. He made a mistake as he took a hold of the magical creature who was able to fight back.Yoongi felt the electric touch of the fairy as he grabbed his arm, trying to protect himself for whatever was about to happen.It did not hurt, but the flesh felt hot and tender for a moment, as if he had been burned. But there were no burn marks and only the veiny pattern that was printed onto his skin. Yoongi wasn't taken back by the feeling, but it seemed as if the fairy was.Yoongi remembers the shocked look on the fairy's face as he realized what he had done, almost as if he hadn't meant to use magic on him at all. Yoongi didn't really believe it, as he was sure that the fairy too had a evil side to himself. Though looking quite sweet Yoongi was sure that the fairy was capable of using evil magic and knew when to do so.Yoongi wouldn't believe the act he was playing and the mask that he was wearing for one second. The fairy couldn't be all nice and kind, as that was just impossible from a creature.But no matter how he thought about the other, he still needed to pay a visit to the creature, as leaving his injury without getting checked out was foolish. Yoongi could try and get help from the human medical team, but hearing that the nurse he previously met had no idea where such marks could have came from, he was sure that going to the causer of the injury was the best option right now.Yoongi paid one more visit to the main door of the castle, looking outside to the gate. He saw the mass of people yelling and chanting their hate towards is brother and the creatures. They would not leave nor give up quite yet, but Yoongi hoped that things wouldn't get worse.Just in case, he ordered more guards from Taehyung's team to go and join the others outside where they would be needed. He watched as the humans behind the gate yelled louder, having seen his figure inside the castle once the door was opened.There were mixed feelings, some yelling out their hate for him as some yelled for him in a positive light. This was because everyone knew what was about to happen sooner or later. Yoongi would become the King after his father, and people had many thoughts about that.Some hated his father and were glad to have a new ruler to their country, as others supported his father to death and wanted no one other. This caused fights, drama and even death between the humans when rallies happened. Yoongi even heard that there had been a few fights happening in the crowd already, people getting too worked up with their anger towards the royals and having nothing else better to do. Honestly, it didn't matter to him what they did. As long as they stayed outside and away from his men. Yoongi ordered the guards to gather their weapons just in case something were to happen. He would not lose a life of a guard just because he thought too little of the humans behind the gate. It would be his fault if a guard would come back in injured or worse, and he didn't feel like dealing with that right now.Instead, he had some business to take care of. * Jin looked at the Prince in silence, watching as he took a seat on the chair that a guard had brought in for him. He sat cross legged on his mattress, his hands still tied together from the previous incident. Once removed from Hoseok's cell before, he was taken back into his own cell by a few guards. They had seen what had happened between him and the Prince, seeing how he didn't do as told at first. They took it to themselves to teach him a lesson.The Prince looked closely as Jin licked a lip over his cut bottom lip.'Care to tell me who the guards were who did this?'Whats it to you? Why do you care? Would you actually do something about the situation if he would say something? Jin didn't understand why the Prince asked such a question as if he cared about what had happened.Jin saw how the Prince's eyes traveled to the bruises on his collarbones that were very well visible. He moved his tied hands to bring up his shirt to cover them.'I guess that is a no.' The Prince sighed, turning his eyes away for a moment, looking around the room instead.Jin stayed quiet, looking at the floor and the legs of the chair that the Prince was sat on. There was silence for a moment, Jin avoiding all eye contact.'Look, i'm only here to-''My name is Jin.'There was a pause as the Prince stayed quiet, confused by what the fairy had just said. Jin finally gathered the courage and looked up from the floor and at the Prince instead.'You asked me my name when i first arrived in the castle.' He spoke quietly. 'I figured that we should start from there.' He spoke, nervously playing with his fingers.The Prince looked at him for a moment before answering. 'We can do that.' Jin could have sworn that he saw a smirk dance on his lips for a moment. * The Prince was calm and smart with his words, Jin could easily tell that he had been taught for a long time and that he had been in school for many years. Jin himself only learned to write and read in the characters that the fairies use and he doesn't know how to do so in human languages.Fairies did not have schools, but they were taught by their parents or the colony leader. Jin learnt everything from his mother who told him everything. He was mostly taught healing magic and how to communicate with nature.Due to his heritage and ways that the fairies dealt with things, Jin didn't think it would be possible for him to tell anyone his name that wasn't a fairy. But somehow he was willing to go past that stage.His name was sacred and holy, only meant to be heard by his family, closest friends and mate. But here he was, saying his name to a human who had taken him as a prisoner. Perhaps he had gone crazy.The Prince was taken back by his comment, surprised to hear him tell him name. He most likely didn't even understand the deep reason behind his ways and why he didn't say it at first. He was just happy to see him do as told, seeing that he was finally giving into his orders.Jin too was tired and worn out, having gone through so much in the last few weeks. He wanted it to end, but he didn't know how to do so. Perhaps helping these humans would take him closer to that release, maybe it wouldn't. Jin was up to try anything by now.He had been used, tied down, hit and almost killed. Everyone had their limits and Jin was nearing his own. The last piece to this all was when the castle guards tried to take advantage of him, marking him and using his body in ways that should be punished for. But Jin knew that that would never happen. The guards were more important than him, his life meaning so much more less than theirs.Jin had been through a lot. Human had a habit of doing evil things to him, having never seen anything like him before. Jin didn't want to sound too cocky, but it was true- human men couldn't handle leaving him alone.Fairies were beautiful and graceful. They made good companions as they lived long and knew how to work. The fairies with so called male features were usually more stronger and capable of doing harder things so they were more popular in the auctions. And as all fairies were hermaphrodites, this also meant that the so called males could also fill the role of the childbearer in the future, making them so much more valuable. Jin knew what it was like being wanted and used. He could remember where the touches lingered and stayed deep in his memory. It made him shiver with disgust. But he brushed it away, as he lived through it. That was all that mattered these days, that you were still alive.The Prince asked him some simple questions, when was the last time he ate or had a bath, had he seen any of his family and how did he get to the black market. Jin had a hard time answering these questions, realizing his memory had worn out quite a lot.His last meal was... Perhaps a week ago, if you were talking about the kind that truly made you feel full. Jin had the chance to wash up around the same time. It was quite shameful to admit to someone who looked to clean and well groomed in front of him, but that was the truth.'What about your family?' The Prince then asked once again, leaning against the back of his chair comfortably.Jin blinked a few times, licking his lips. 'Oh, they are no longer here.'The Prince stayed quiet, nodding his head. 'By that do you mean that they have passed away or-''They are dead.' Jin added in, taking away the bother of having to finish his sentence. It was really just that simple. They were dead, everyone in his family.'I see.' The Prince said, humming out.Jin nodded his head, looking at his hands and the dirt underneath his fingernails. 'My kind really has just one gender, but i called my two parents by the regular pet names, father and mother.' Jin began to explain, hoping that the Prince had at least once heard about hermaphrodites before he that he wouldn't need to explain that for him.'My father passed away before my birth. He was taken by humans who needed fairy wings to sell forward. This was before they knew about the art of just removing the wings, but instead first killed the target.'As Jin continued to explain and speak, the Prince listened quietly. He let Jin speak for as long as he wanted, not interrupting him or saying anything while he was speaking.'My mother was killed when the big attack to our colony happened. Everyone that was left by then was also taken by the humans who attacked us. I an a few others were able to escape, but eventually i was left alone. Until a week ago when i was found by the black market.''You haven't seen any of your own kind ever since?' The Prince then asked. Jin just shook his head.'I believe that everyone else who was caught before me have been sold already to their owners.' Jin said, having thought about this for quite a while. He didn't think that any of the members in his colony were no longer out there running freely. They were all either killed of taken in through the black market. Jin didn't know about the other fairy colonies that were all over the continent.'You would have been sold as well if we hadn't taken down the auction that day i assume?' The Prince then said, perhaps trying to prove that him being here was now a good thing. Jin couldn't really say so himself right now.'Perhaps yes. I do not think that this place is any better than my owners would have been. No offence.' Jin joked with a dry laugh.The Prince's lips twitched into a smile for a second, before turning serious again. 'Your condition will approve and you will receive many good things as we will find some ground together and begin to work together.' He then explained, looking at Jin. 'Just one spell to heal the King and then you will receive everything that you could ever wish for.'Jin's shoulders shook with the laugh that he let slip through his lips. 'What if there is nothing that you could give me that would make me happy? You cannot bring back my family or friends, erase what had happened to my kind and what was done by your kind. What good would come to me if i help you?'The Prince stayed quiet for a moment, just staring at Jin. His gaze felt piercing and cold, Jin wanted to look away but he couldn't as he didn't want to see weak. Instead of bursting out with anger or doing something else due to Jin being stubborn, he did something that surprised Jin.The Prince stretched out his hand and left it there, Jin stared at the hand and then back at the Prince. 'I just realized how rude i have been for this all time, by not even introducing myself after you did so yourself.' He then spoke, a smirk dancing on his lips. 'My name is Yoongi.'Jin sighed as he reached out and shook his hand. He mostly did this just to see if the Prince would be scared by his touch and the possibility that he could use magic on him, but he didn't even flinch when he reached out and took a hold of his hand. Instead he held it tightly.'Great. Now that we have gotten to know each other, we can discuss about the future plans.' * Yoongi wouldn't call himself someone who was good with people. He was actually pretty quiet and bad when it came to talking with people. But as a Prince he needed to learn how to speak with people and what to say, so he took many lessons and held many meetings in front of important people. That way he learned to make conversation and deals happen with people, especially when it came to dealing with the castle and the Kings things. Casual talk with others was a whole new thing though.Having only had Jimin, Jungkook and Taehyung as his friends for as long as he can remember as been both great and also not so much. Speaking with others was difficult when they didn't work for him or weren't his allies. What made speaking with the fairy- Jin, so easy was because he wasn't a human. He didn't know Yoongi was the famous prince who was the son of a King who everyone knew. Jin only knew the King and that he was a bad man. Being that bad mans son didn't really help right now, but Yoongi was sure he could make himself seem more truthful in front of the fairy.Yoongi could tell that out of all these three creatures Jin was the one who would be able to help him in the end. The witch and the wolf were too much of a trouble, as they hated him and the rest of the humans too much to even try and help them.Jin was either beat down so much or he was actually up to try and make things right. How and why? Yoongi was able to tell the reasons behind that. 'The King fell sick a month ago, first losing his ability to walk and remember things correctly.' Yoongi began explaining, starting from the very beginning.'He soon became bedridden and i needed to take his spot as a leader, with the help of the royal advisers. My brother, the leader of the army and the royal doctor have been keeping things running for the past few weeks, as my fathers conditional became worse and worse. We soon realized that none of the humans were able to heal him and needed something else.''My brother has had a liking to reading about magic and creatures like you and others for as long as i can remember, so he had an idea on what do to pretty quickly. Finding you, the wolf and the witch was just coincidence.'Jin had sat still while listening to Yoongi speak, trying to realize the situation better and to understand why he and the other creatures would get something good out of healing the King. He couldn't really find his answer to that quite yet.'Then what if one of us heals the King? Then what will happen?' Jin asked, honestly just curious to know how helping the King would help him and the other creatures in any way at all, as he couldn't see the reason behind doing so, as the King was the reason behind their suffering in the first place.Before Yoongi's father and his grandfather, there was his great grandfather who was a great King who lead Solaria with equality in his mind and peace. Everyone lived together calmly without war and murder. This changed when he passed away and his son, Yoongi's grandfather took his place.He changed the law, making sure that all magical creatures should be kept away from the cities and instead kept away from all humans. If they were seen, they were allowed to be killed. This was all because of one bad experience with a witch when he was younger, turning into this hatred that would poison others minds as well.All creatures and humans who had anything to do with them were brought under the law, either killed or put into jail. All children born with some creature gene in them were killed once born, as hybrids were thought to be something horrible.This law broke out of control and before you even knew it, creatures were being killed left and right even when they were staying where they were supposed to. Black markets became regular as the humans still needed the creatures though they were made illegal. Everything that could happen behind the Kings back was still allowed, so the illegal selling didn't stop but grew over the years.Once dead, his son- Yoongi's father took the King's place. He ended up leaving his fathers law in order and following it behind precisely. All this said, Jin didn't really feel any kind of pity towards the King now did he wish to heal him due to these facts. But his morals were coming between his own feelings of hatred. Everyone deserved to be forgiven and healed, just as he was taught as a healer. But for once he did not believe what he had been taught.'The King is still the leader of our country.' Yoongi then said. 'He knows how to rule over the land and make the best decisions as he has the experience.' He spoke, making Jin lose his trust in him. He couldn't believe that anyone could think that the King was a good leader, even if being his son.'Besides, i believe that once healed by one of you- he will realize what needs to be done with the law. It will be removed for good.'Jin shook his head in disbelieve. 'And that will make it all better? Just removing the law will not suddenly make it so that us creatures can again show our faces near the humans, who would still hate us. The way you humans would still think about us would not change one bit, and neither would the killings, capturing and the auctions. This isn't something that can be just changed by one sign on a piece of paper and calling it a day.' Jin laughed, finding the situation unbelievable. He stayed quiet for a moment, looking at Yoongi for answers who seemed to be out of them as well. The situation was complicated and something that couldn't be solved to easily. But right now Jin knew one thing, the King wasn't the best option for the creatures. Healing him would only cause them more harm and trouble. Jin honestly thought that Yoongi would be a better leader for Solaria.Jin was just about to voice out his thought about this, but was stopped almost as if Yoongi already knew where he was about to say next.'There is a crowd of humans outside the boarders of the castle at the moment, who need answers. They have weapons and are able to do some harm if they so wish. I do not have much time left until i need to make some serious decisions in favor of Solaria. I hope you take this into consideration and think about what we spoke about deeply.' He then said as he got up from his seat.Jin stayed quiet, watching as the Prince began to move. His words rang in his ears, making him think of what to truly do. Because of this he almost forgot about the thing that was on his mind before Yoongi even came into his cell.'Wait.' Jin called out before Yoongi was already gone. The other turned around and turned back to Jin. Jin stood up with some trouble due to being tied with ropes, but once up he stood and looked at the Prince.'I couldn't help but remember how i earlier used my magic on you.' He spoke, Yoongi walking to stand in front of him. Jin swallowed deeply as the other stared at him.'I feel slightly apologetic, but also not as you held a gun pointed at me.' He said, making the Prince smile slightly. 'I really had no other choice as you decided to take a hold of me then.''That was my fault completely.' Yoongi then said, looking down at his hand to roll the sleeve back up, showing Jin the marked skin by his magic.Jin tilted his head and examined the area. 'Yes it was.' He joked as he licked his lips. He truly shocked him good, the bruises looking deep in color and deep in the skin. This was only bruising, as the electric magic that he used from being scared only did small damage. Jin still never had to use his harmful magic on anyone before, making him feel slightly bad but also powerful in a way.This type of magic couldn't kill when used in the way that Jin did, but used correctly it would possibly cause even death. An electric shock big enough and close to the heart could surely stop the heart or make it work differently, making his magic deathly. But he never hoped to come into a situation where that would be needed. 'May i?' Jin then asked as he had reached out for Yoongi's hand before even realizing this. Yoongi hadn't been shaken by this and simply just nodded his head.Jin's hands were still tied to each other by ropes, leaving only a small space between to work with but he was still able to properly study the injury that he had done to the Prince.Yoongi stayed quiet, trying to seem as calm and possible and not to look scared at all. But Jin heard and felt how his breath hitched when he pressed his fingers against the marked skin.Jin looked up from the pale skin and at Yoongi instead. 'I'll heal what i caused, but only what i caused. Your father needs to first earn his healing.' Jin murmured as he then closed his eyes.Yoongi stayed still and looked in awe as he saw the beautiful golden wings light up in the dark cell room. He felt the slight tingle on his skin where Jin had his hands on, pressing into the skin gently. Yoongi never would have thought that he would have trusted a creature this much to let one actually heal himself and come so close to himself. Perhaps he had gone crazy due to a spell that the beautiful fairy had placed on him. Yeah, that must be it.The healing magic didn't hurt one bit, thought it felt slightly odd. Like some liquid had been poured into his veins that then traveled through his skin gracefully, making him feel fuzzy and sleepy.He could see the change happen right before his eyes, watching how the veiny marks disappeared one by one in one smooth movement. When Jin let go of him, his arm looked like it always had with nothing left on it or added in. Yoongi even tested making a fist and stretching his fingers straight. It worked perfectly and felt normal.'Thought i would do something odd to it?' Jin then asked, bringing Yoongi back to earth from his deep thoughts. He brushed off the sly comment and ignored it.'Thank you for that, and my apologies for what happened before.' He then said, making Jin nod his head.With that Yoongi was out of the door, playing with the sleeve of his shirt to bring it back down to cover his arm. He left the door open so that the guard could go back in gather the chair that he sat on before. But before doing that, he pulled the guard to the side with a quick movement of his hand.The young guard looked scared shitless as he was standing in front of him, and Yoongi had an idea why, and he would be dealing with that later. He brushed that feeling away for now and focused on what he needed to do before that. 'Order the kitchen to prepare a meal for him and the rest of the creatures.' He simply ordered the guard, making him bow down to him and agree to his order. But Yoongi wasn't done yet, he grinded his teeth together in his mouth as he threw a look around the hallway that they were stood on, making sure no one else that there.Yoongi then proceeded to kick the young guard at his leg, hard. He felt down on his one knee to the floor, holding onto his other leg with his hands, hissing out due to the pain. Yoongi made him look up to him by pulling him from his hair.'Next time you and your friends decide to lay a hand on the fairy, or the other creatures- you will fly out of this castle faster than you could ever think.' Yoongi spat as he let go of the man. 'And i will not hesitate to use more power next time, as this will be the only warning.' Yoongi murmured as he watched the man got up weakly and shamefully.'Yes, my Prince.' He managed to murmur out through tear filled eyes. Yoongi didn't pity him one bit though, having seen what he and the other guards had done to Jin. Though Jin never told him who was the cause behind his cut lip and bruises, Yoongi remembered all of his guards and who were the ones to take him back to his cell that previous time.Yoongi left the guard alone for a moment, but when finding another guard he ordered him to change place with him for now. Yoongi didn't know why but he suddenly hated the thought of him staying anywhere near Jin. He wanted to think that was just because he was a good person and not because of the fluttering feeling in his stomach. * The rain pouring down onto the humans behind the gate did not stop them, but only made them more agitated. The fire on their torches could not be put out and neither could the fire in their hearts. They came here to fight for what they believed in, and that they would do no matter what.The lighting in the sky only made their roars more louder as if they got some energy out of it. The flash of lighting would shine from their faces, making even the most strongest guards seem afraid when standing behind the gates.There had already been reported deaths, as the humans fought each other since they couldn't access the guards of the castle. People had fallen down in the big pile of humans, and then been stamped to death.It was just a matter of time before things would get out of hand. The guards watched from all directions, making sure that the big crowd of people wouldn't get access to the castle. But their growing numbers were alarming. It was when the first reported human was found inside the castle basement that the guards had to send out a message to Yoongi. Things were about to turn to the worst if they didn't act soon.Taehyung received that massage and looked through it with his men in front of him.He looked up from the message and at his guards instead, who all looked just as worried as he felt inside. But he didn't let himself show it.He sighed and placed the piece of paper down.'Prepare the weapons. Tonight we need to be ready to fight back.' He murmured as he took the paper and placed it inside the front of his shirt pocket.'Sir, can we really fight our own kind?' A younger guard then spoke out, his wet hair covering his face when being stood out in the rain for hours.'We have no other choice but to do so. We need to protect the castle.' Taehyung said, turning to the younger guard.The young boy blinked a few times. 'But all they want is for the creatures and the traitor Prince to-'Taehyung lifted his sword at the mention of Jimin, pointing it towards the boy. He immediately stopped with what he was about to say and shut his mouth instead. 'The Prince is no traitor. And neither are any of us for protecting what we believe in.' Taehyung spoke. 'We will not fight until there is no other choice but to do so. This is the hard part of being a guard, that you all will soon learn about. We will do everything that it takes to keep the castle safe and the people inside of it. Got it?'There was a pause, before the young guards was first to voice out his answer. 'Yes sir!' He yelled and quickly bowed in front of him, the others soon following him.Taehyung saw himself in that young guard, only being so young as well.He was full of life and excitement when first getting the guard spot in the castle. He remembers the first time when he was let to hold a gun and when he actually got to shoot it. He remembers his first fight and how his upper men complimented him on his work during sticky situations. He learned from his mistakes and became a better guard through those.You also learned that some things you wouldn't be able to forget ever. The first time you ever saw someone die in front of you, or being the reason behind killing that said person. Taehyung has seen many things that would made someone else go crazy, and perhaps he too has gone a little crazy. That was because he has started to believe in Jimin's words.Back in the cells he spoke with the other, hearing out his reason behind why he decided to surrender as a traitor. Taehyung didn't understand it at first, but it took some time.Jimin had enough of the things going on inside the castle, the things that no one else would ever know about.The King was dying, his brother was a coward and they were using others to deal with their own problems. Jimin knew that the creatures weren't needed in a situation like this, as their father was already gone by now. Instead Jimin wished that the creatures would be let free and the law would be removed.Jungkook too once spoke about the same thing to him, with a whisper when he first realized how bad the King's situation truly was.Jungkook had been treating the King with all the knowledge that he had from his training as a doctor, and as nothing seemed to be helping- he whispered to Taehyung one night when he had asked what was wrong.'I think Yoongi needs to learn how to take responsibility soon.' Back then Taehyung just brushed it off, thinking that there was no way that the end would come so quickly, but here they were only weeks later. The King couldn't last for long and Yoongi needed to take his spot, but the other was too scared to do so, and he could see why.The huge responsibility, the lack of privacy and the things that came after the coronation were all things that should scare everyone in that situation. But Taehyung knew that Yoongi could do it, they all did. He just needed to believe in himself and the others. Yoongi wouldn't be left alone on the throne. He still had his friends who were there to help him.Perhaps he couldn't see it right now, as everything seemed to be so crazy at the moment- but he would see it someday.Taehyung would always stand next to him as an adviser and so would Jungkook. And once Taehyung's plan goes through, Jimin would join them as well. * Yoongi had enough.There had been a dead maid found inside the abandoned castle's side, near the side in which the abandoned side connected with the side which was in use. The reason behind her death were humans, seeing as the weapon being used was a cheap kind of metal usually seen in farming material. The humans had already made their way inside the castle.They needed to put an end to this.Yoongi ordered the guards to use one more thing to try and drive away the humans who were now threatening to break down the gates. The gas bombs thrown over the gate did almost nothing, not making the humans move away any further. They weren't giving up.Taehyung came to him for help, asking what was the next plan. Yoongi wasn't too sure, but he knew one thing. They needed to protect their own kind.'I want you to do whatever it takes to keep us all safe.' Yoongi spoke, placing his own weapons around his waist. A servant was neatly placing his long hair into a bun and then placing his helmet on for him. Jungkook looked at the two in fear.Taehyung nodded his head. 'Whatever it takes.' He repeated his words, sighing deeply afterwards.'This will turn ugly very quickly, but they had it coming.' Yoongi murmured as he collected his precious sword from the case on the table. 'They entered the castle and made the first move as they had the nerve to kill an innocent maid.' Yoongi cursed over his breath.Taehyung nodded his head, reaching over to place an hand over his friends shoulder to calm him down. 'They may have made the first move but we will be the ones to end this fight.'Yoongi sighed, looking at his old friend with a sad smile. 'I hope so.' An hour from then, Yoongi and Taehyung were stood outside of the castle- looking over to the front yard where they could see the huge crowd of people.'Opening the gate would be too much of a risk. We decided to send a crew to climb over the gate and to attack from there. The archers are ready on top of the castle and the towers. Our first attack will be the gasoline and the fire. If all goes well, we wont be needing anything else than that to drive away the crowd.' Taehyung yelled as otherwise Yoongi wouldn't be able to hear him.'This will get ugly, and there will be bodies by the end, but it is all so that we can keep our people safe.' Taehyung then added, reminding Yoongi why they were doing this.Yoongi wanted to say, that those people behind the gate were also supposed to be their own kind who they should be protecting. But they have instead turned against each other. What would his father say about this if he was awake to see it all happen?It was better not to know.Yoongi gave permission to all of the things that Taehyung mentioned, ordering him to go ahead and begin the first step in making their castle safe again.Yoongi watched as none of the humans backed of when the barrels of liquid were gathered to the top of the gate and walls. There were a few gunshots heard as the humans now decided to fight back, but those were no match to the fire that was about to fall upon them.Yoongi closed his eyes as he heard the cue of letting the gasoline be thrown into the crowd. Then it was lit.Yoongi would have never even guessed what it would sound like to hear so many people burn at the same time. It was similar to the sound of the fire in the auction when the witches used their magic. But this had a different feeling.The humans were supposed to be better than the witches. They didn't deserve to be burned alive like the witches did. But how come Yoongi couldn't suddenly see the difference in the two?He opened his eyes to see the flames crow behind the gates, reaching over the tall walls and burning the stone away slowly. The humans screamed in pain, as the lighting in the sky roared together with them.It only lasted for a moment as the water pouring down on them was quick to kill the fire. But it did it's damage. It killed a good amount and drove away some, but it also damaged their systems.The gate was destroyed, letting the brave humans push it open and reveal themselves to the guards. The archers were given the cue to shoot, doing their precise work in eliminating the humans one by one. But even they couldn't keep on shooting forever and soon the humans were making their way up to the stairs in huge amounts. Yoongi payed one last look to the door of the castle, ordering the guards inside to close it and to keep it closed no matter what.Once done that he turned to Taehyung.Nothing was said as the two of them shared a look together before turning back to the crowd of people, brushing away any fear and feeling unsure that was left. They had to do this, to make their loved ones safe.Yoongi turned to battle without any regrets. * Jimin looked up to the small window leading to the front yard of the castle. The window was small, but big enough to where he could see through from and hear the humans behind the gates. They were angry and shouting for his death.It suddenly made sense that whoever was the one to let out the word of him surrendering also was the one to allow the first humans to be seen in the basement. The humans already knew ways inside the castle, so it would be only a matter of time before they actually entered the castle with bigger groups.Though unsure, Taehyung had his back in this. He trusted him and didn't want to see him rot in jail before being disciplined for his crimes. Taehyung did a crime himself when leaving Jimin with a small dagger from his weapon collection, but he did it to save him.Taehyung told him to hold onto the weapon for now and hide it from any possible guard who came to check up on him. He told him to wait for the right moment until making his escape.Jimin could see the flashes of lighting through his small window and see how the rain water was gathering in big puddles on the ground. There was electricity in the air, as the humans were angered and so were the gods in the sky. It was the perfect night for war. Hours went by, with guards visiting him and not saying a thing. Jimin noted the patterns of when the guards would come by, making sure to count the minutes. Jimin also noticed the lack of guards. First there were two always visiting him together every other minute. Then the time became longer, before there was only one guard visiting him once every ten minutes. The guards were getting busy. Jimin could already smell the gun powder in the air. It was soon time to escape.By his calculation the humans should have already started their fight with the castle guards by now. Jimin wasted no time as he got up from the floor, having already maneuvered his ropes off of him with the dagger. He looked around for a moment, seeing if anyone was around to notice him, but there wasn't as everyone was already either outside or fighting the humans who made it inside the castle.Jimin opened the door of his cell using the dagger carefully. The lock popped open with a click and he was running out immediately. The hallways were surprisingly empty, with no guard in sight. He could hear some voices coming from the first floor as he ran up the stairs leading from the cells, but they didn't sound like guards. Knowing that he ran ever faster, as he needed to avoid whoever would come in his way.He made it through the first floor, running up the stairs to the second floor. There he needed to make his way through the long hallway and the many turns leading into his own room. Why would he need to go into his room in a situation like this right now? It would all make sense in the end.Jimin ran through the hallway, trying to make as little noise as possible. When running through the hallway, he turned his head to look through the big glass windows on his left. There he could see the chaos that was happening behind the castle walls. It was hard to see because of the raining water and darkness, but the huge crowd of people and the fire was something that you could not miss. Jimin prayed as he ran, hoping that his idiot of a brother would stay safe and everybody else as well. Somehow he made it inside his room without anyone seeing him. He ran through the door and didn't bother closing it, as he only came in here for one thing.He began looking through books and drawers quickly, throwing them to the side once he was done looking through the. Sweat was dripping down his face as he cursed, tearing through books after another.'Come on, come on..!' He growled, growing frustrated with the fact that he was wasting precious time. But he didn't give up, as he couldn't. He turned from one bookshelf to another, now instead of looking through each book one by one he decided to push the whole shelf, causing it to fall to the floor with all the books.He then sat down onto the floor, beginning to look through the mess on the floor, throwing all the books aside too see if what he was looking for had been fallen to the ground.He laughed out loud like a mad man when he finally found what he was looking for. Jimin carefully took the beautiful piece of wood from the floor, holding it in his hands. The witches wand.The red ruby covering the wooden wand sparkled in the darkness, giving some hope to him that this would all end well. Jimin held the wand tightly in his hands, getting up from the floor. He placed the wand in his waist pocket and took off running again, this time with a different destination. The creatures cell's were in the abandoned side of the castle. To make it there, Jimin first needed to make his way back down to the first floor and find the other side of the castle, leading to the abandoned side. This was a dangerous task, as the maid found dead was right where he needed to go and also where he previously heard the voices coming from.Those voices could also belong to guards, but Jimin couldn't be seen by them either. He needed to avoid everyone in order to make this plan happen. It all was up to him now, to make sure that this fight would be won by them.Jimin took a deep breath as he began running down the stairs leading into the first floor. * Namjoon opened his eyes as he heard the commotion outside. He could hear the screams and yells of the humans, as well as the gunshots firing. There was electricity in the air, as the loud sounds of thunder could be heard and if he were able to see outside, Namjoon would also guess that there would be strong flashes of lighting as well.His time inside the cell was becoming near it's end. Spending the last few days not eating or sleeping lead to becoming restless and going mad, but it also gave him time to think.When he had nothing else to do, Namjoon spent his time going through some old spells and hymns as well as trying to keep his mind off of his injuries that were unable to heal by themselves. He was still held in place by ropes, that were tight around his wrists, arms and torso. He had been lowered down from his previous spot where he couldn't even rest on the mattress, and he was now in a sitting position instead. A tied down witch wasn't that useful, but he wasn't a complete waste either.Namjoon could use magic without his hands, but it was limited. His magic was already weak due to not having a wand and not being able to use your hands didn't help much either. But he could still use some spells to some point.He could make himself more warm or cold depending on what he was feeling. He could also communicate with other witches through their shared language in a trance like state that he could put himself into.The other witches spoke about a war that had broken loose. It started in the city, where humans fought with each other until bringing their anger to the gate of the castle. They wanted the creatures dead and also the death of one of the Prince's. Why? Because he fought for them.If this was the same Prince that Namjoon had seen before, the quiet one next to the colder one who spoke like a King. It must be the younger brother who brought in the doctor a day ago.He had a kind heart that cared for others as well. That would surely get him killed someday. Kind people were always the first to go, sadly. You needed to be tough and selfish these days to survive, and Namjoon knew that better than anyone else.But he too had a nice side to him. He cared about other witches and creatures. He wished nothing but the best for the wolf and fairy that came with him into the castle. He also wished that they would stay strong and not give in to what the humans wanted. Namjoon still knew what was right for himself and the other creatures, which was to make sure that the King doesn't get healed. If he were able do get better from his current state, all hell would break loose for the magical creatures. A hunt so big would start that there would be none of them left to tell the tale. Namjoon didn't want to trust the humans. He wanted to hate them and keep on finding more reasons to hate them even more. But sometimes it was hard, especially when it seemed like the humans were actually trying to help him. Namjoon didn't know how to react to that. Especially not when they did things like this. He was woken up from his thoughts by the sound of his cell door opening. Inside ran a tired looking man who he did not recognize at first due to the fact that he looked like a beggar, but he soon realized who the human was. It was the same young Prince who tried to heal him with the human doctor before, the same Prince who should be in jail right now.Namjoon stayed quiet, but watched closely as the panting Prince came up to him and began cutting his ropes.The Prince said nothing but bit his bottom lips as he tried to work open the tough ropes, growling as he managed to free one of them.'We all need to get out of here, before the castle gets run over by the humans outside.' The Prince spoke, now daring to look straight at him. He continued his work, cutting open each and every rope before he was left with just one.Before Jimin could get to finish opening that rope, he was suddenly pushed up against the wall. His head hit the stone wall with a bang making him groan out, surprised because of the sudden pain. He felt a hand hold him in place from his throat, closing his airways.He opened his eyes in shock to see the witch standing in front of him. He gasped out for air but couldn't get any, instead he held onto the hand pinning him in place as tears began to form in his eyes.Namjoon stared at the human for a moment, admiring how his face began turning pale due to lack of air. He wore a grin on his lips as he brought his other hand to brush away the hair covering the humans face.'It is a shame, truly. You always seemed like the only good one in this castle full of sin makers.' Namjoon murmured. 'But all humans are bad, and you are no exception.' The human underneath him stayed surprisingly calm, even under such a strong gaze as his own. Instead of trying to release himself from Namjoon's grip, the human stayed almost still and tried to save his breath. But he did try to do something that caught Namjoon's eye.The Prince quickly ran his hand through his pants pocket grabbing something that Namjoon couldn't recognize at first. He thought it was a weapon as was about to act upon feeling attacked, but stopped before he could even begin as he saw the Prince throw the object onto the floor.Namjoon watched in awe as his precious wand laid there on the mattress and glowed in his presence, asking him to pick it back up into his hands. Namjoon looked back at the human, confusion written all over his face.The human just stared back, not feeling scared by his threatening gaze. Namjoon let go and the human fell to the floor, coughing.Namjoon stood still for a moment, then moved to collect his wand. He held it in his hands, feeling the wooden wand in his grasp again after a long time. It felt right again.The human was still gasping for air, whilst trying to form words. Namjoon didn't know if it was out of pity or because he actually wanted to know, but he stayed and listened to what the human had to stay even though he could have ran through the door easily. And he still wasn't sure if he should even spare his life, wanting to use his strong magic again now that he had his wand.'I-i almost got killed for getting that wand for you.' The human then spoke, getting up from the floor with the help of leaning against the wall. 'Three guards noticed me when making my way over here.' The human murmured and Namjoon wasn't too sure if he was just speaking to himself or if he actually thought that this information would matter to him in any way.'Do you want a price?' Namjoon then asked, finding this situation ridiculous. The human who he had just almost killed was suddenly feeling unfair as he hadn't thanked him for what he did. It should be the human who should be thanking him for sparing his life, for now.The human panted, leaning against the wall. 'A thank you would be nice, i guess.' Namjoon let out a laugh. Were all humans this crazy, playing with their lives like this. Namjoon wasn't feeling like playing any games right now. He took a step closer to the human, his hands bringing light into the dark room with the fire that they were producing. The human looked at him without a hint of fear in his eyes.'We already have enough fire happening around in the gate, so we won't be needing that.' The human spoke, pointing at his hands. 'You got anything else?'Now Namjoon was sure that the human was just messing with him. He growled out as the fire spread from his hands, targeting towards his sides.'Do not underestimate me human.' Namjoon murmured as he stepped closer to the Prince, staring him down from where he was stood.'I am not underestimating you.' He then spoke, staring right back at Namjoon like he wasn't the scariest thing he had ever seen, which he was. 'I have seen what your magic can do and what it can bring. But right now it is needed somewhere else. I need you to help at the boarder, to protect the castle.' The Prince spoke, voice a bit more desperate now.Namjoon let out a laugh. 'Why on earth do you think that i would help you? I could have just killed you and could do it any moment from now.' He reminded the human, just in case he forgot who he was dealing with.The human blinked and looked back at him. 'Then why didn't you?'Namjoon stared back, biting his teeth together to restrain himself from showing his anger to the human, when he was feeling infuriated on the inside. This human was messing around with him, and he knew that. He was playing a role of trying to pretend not to be scared of him and to look much more stronger than he actually is.Humans were scared, Namjoon could tell that. Everyone is afraid of him and that is how it is supposed to be. He hated humans, so they should be afraid of him.Then why wasn't this one?Namjoon hit his fist against the wall, right next to where the human was resting his head against. He left a huge dent that would have surely caused the human to lose his life if he had been there. He didn't say anything but just stared at the human.'You don't know, do you?' The human then spoke. 'You don't know why you left me alive and are still standing here. Perhaps it is because you want me to be like the others. To look like i'm afraid and scared of you.' He whispered.'But i am not afraid, but fascinated.' He then spoke, and Namjoon was taken back by the light he could see in the others eyes.'To me you are the most amazing thing i have ever seen in my life, you have no idea how much i have read about your kind and the spells that you use. I am too idiotic to feel any fear right now, and that will surely cause me my life some day.' The human spoke, seeming sincere and truthful about what he was saying. That was making Namjoon feel uncomfortable.'No.' He spoke and backed of a few steps. 'You would just use me like the others. You humans all think alike and are the same. You all would use my magic for your own good before getting rid of me.' He spoke, holding his wand up so that the human couldn't do anything to him. It began to glow and spark towards Jimin.He packed up all the way to the door. 'And i won't let anyone of you ever hurt my kind again.' He whispered before disappearing through the door. Jimin stood still for a moment, before running to the same direction as the witch. When he made it to the door, he saw nothing in the hallway.Jimin stood there in silence, watching the empty hallway in front of him.Beyond the walls he could hear the sounds of people fighting, guns firing and flames burning. That was the sound of people dying, relationships broken and their country falling apart. Knowing that there was nothing he could do about it hurt.Jimin pressed shaky fingers against his neck, which he felt the skin bruising on already.Namjoon. That was his name right?Jimin couldn't remember suddenly anymore. And soon even standing up felt like too much of a task to complete. Jimin made it to the end of the hallway before everything suddenly became hazy. Jimin cursed under his breath as he fell to the ground and looked at the wall next to him. The paintings were becoming a mush in his eyes, the drawings turning into one big thing that he couldn't make anything out of.A tear fell down his cheek and he let out a tired breathy laugh. 'He put a curse on me, didn't he..?' Jimin whispered as he tried to push himself up to sit with much trouble.He didn't know why, but he was suddenly having much trouble just staying put in one place. His body just wanted to give up and fall flat to the floor, but he couldn't allow that to happen. He needed to give his plan another shot, and if we wouldn't be able to do that then everyone would suffer from it.So Jimin bit his lip, got back up and began moving through the hallway, leaning against the wall for support. * 'It doesn't look good.' Jungkook sighed as he counted his uncles pulse and blood pressure for the tenth time that hour. His condition was becoming worse and worse each minute, soon nearing his end.The doctors around him nodded their heads, already knowing this from the start. There wasn't anything that they could do to save the King and all their hard work was about to go to waste.Jungkook sighed as he looked outside of the window, seeing the wide picture of the battle happening on the front yard of the castle. The thunder was loud and intimidating as you heard it from the third floor. Jungkook turned away when a surprisingly bright lighting flash flashed on the dark night sky.'Is the Prince..?' A old doctor began speaking, looking at Jungkook as he did so.Jungkook nodded his head. 'He will come back.' He assured the man, or perhaps just himself.Yoongi would return, so would Taehyung. Everything would go back to normal, and Yoongi would take his fathers spot. The change would be hard on them all but they could manage through it together. Leading Solaria wasn't a one man job, but it needed team work. Together they could get through war, death and everything that was brought to them.Jungkook looked at his uncle, the King one more time.The old man no longer reminded him of the face of Solaria. The face that once resembled power and wealth. Instead Jungkook saw a sad man who was left alone to wither away.Jungkook placed his hand on top of his, giving it a slight squeeze.'Order the priest to arrive to the castle tomorrow morning.' He murmured and looked at the group of doctors standing on the end of the bed. They nodded their heads as Jungkook got up from his seat.He turned to the team of doctors, nurses and helpers who have spent the last few weeks doing nothing but caring for the King. They would use the rest of their life's to do this work if they were asked to do so. Jungkook had nothing but admiration for these people.'Your work has been appreciated.' He spoke as he bowed down quickly. 'Your efforts will not be forgotten easily. You truly did everything that you could, but that wasn't enough in this situation. Nothing that we humans could do would help anymore. We have done our job as doctors and nurses, and we need to realize when it is time to give up. Tonight is that time of realization.'Some were crying, some seemed angry. Jungkook was feeling a mix of all emotions.He was sad, angry, confused and happy all at the same. He was happy that this battle was done for their part, and that the team could finally rest and leave the King to rest as well. But he was angry that things didn't end like they were supposed to.Jungkook was supposed to be the most famous doctor in all of Solaria, having gone through so many years in school and in the medical field. But here he was, the reason behind why the King had been allowed to pass away.He was a quitter and weak for doing so, or some people would at least call him like that. Jungkook would on the other hand call himself smart, for knowing when it was too late. It was too late to do anything else for the King.Now, Jungkook just wanted to tell his mother and begin helping with Yoongi's coronation. He did his part as a doctor, now it was time to help as a friend and a family member.Jungkook removed himself from the patient room, exiting to the hallway. He let out a sigh and sat down to lean against the wall.That was it. This was truly the end of an era to Solaria. What the new one would look like, that was a mystery to them all.His whole life these days has been a mystery to even himself. Every day would bring in new challenges and things that threw him off from the normal things. Guess being in a relationship with a soldier wasn't too easy after all, just like his mother had said.Jungkook let out a tired laugh, digging into the pocket of his pants. He held onto the familiar object with a tight grip, his fingers fidgeting with the object.Jungkook looked at the simple silver ring in the middle of his palm, the images of Taehyung giving him the thing flashing through his mind many years ago.'You must be crazy.' Jungkook smiled, reliving the situation that happened back then.They were young. Jungkook was still doing his studies and travelling from town to town to visit the sick citizens of Solaria to help with his school. Taehyung had just been promoted into the role of the army leader, at the young age that he was.They saw each other only during meetings every now and then and only managed to speak with each other a few times a month. For some reason Taehyung was still stupidly in love and so was Jungkook.Both of them knew that they would never have something regular and normal when together. They could never really say that they were in a relationship as it was illegal and also impossible because of the time.They both knew that they would never get to show off their love like others. They could never settle down and live together, share a meal together more than once a month. They could never share a future together or have the much spoken happy ending.Jungkook would never get a happy ending, having fallen in love with a soldier. But that was alright for now. Loving Taehyung was addicting.He could never leave him, and would suffer the consequences when the time came.But until that day, Jungkook will keep the old ring on him at all times, and Taehyung will do the same. * Jimin, though in his current feverish state, still understood that the image that he was seeing was slightly wrong.He stood in the doorway of the cell, looking inside the dark room that seemed to be empty. But instead of the big wolf you would be able to see laying in the corner, this time a human sat there instead.Jimin swallowed as he leaned against the door frame tiredly. 'Please tell me that you are the werewolf, because otherwise i have broken into the wrong room.' He panted and looked at the man who now stood up.Jimin saw the flash of golden in the humans eyes as he walked closer to himself. He let out a sigh in relief, recognizing the eyes as the ones of a wolf.'Why did you arrive, and without the guards?' The werewolf asked, standing in front of him. A strike of lightning could be heard coming from the outside and the wolf turned his head at this noise, listening to the sounds of water falling and the commotion happening outside. Jimin was sure that he already had an idea to why he arrived, since there was an actually war breaking behind the castle walls.Jimin swallowed, trying to fix his posture. He didn't enjoy looking so out of shape suddenly, seeing as he wore dirty simple clothes and was tormented by some curse that the witch laid on him. He brushed that away and turned to the wolf again.'I have already committed enough crimes inside this castle, so releasing you won't matter much more.' Jimin murmured and looked for his dagger, only to then realize that the werewolf was already freed from his ropes. Why he didn't escape as soon as Jimin unlocked the door, that was a mystery to him.'Why did you come to set me free?' The man then asked, confused to why the Prince would still commit such a crime. The Prince then moved away from the wall, walking along the hallway and leaning against the wall.Hoseok looked at him for a moment, wondering if he was injured. He then followed him and caught the familiar scent of a special someone. The human had been near the witch, Namjoon. Hoseok could remember every scent that he caught from everyone he ever met, and forgetting the angry witch wasn't something that could be easily done.The Prince didn't answer his question, but continued to walk down the hallway, until he reached another door. Hoseok saw the resemblance and realized what would be behind that door. He soon caught the scent of a fairy nearby. 'The citizens of Solaria have attacked the castle because of their anger towards me and you creatures.' The Prince murmured as he brought out a small chain full of keys. He picked one and opened the door leading inside the cell similar to Hoseok's own.Inside the cell, Jin looked up from his seated position to see Hoseok and the familiar human stood there on his doorway. He wore a confused look on his face as he rose from his position.'There have already been people found inside the castle that do not have so good intentions.' Jimin continued speaking as he walked up to Jin and began removing his ropes. Jin moved away at first as he saw the Prince move up to him with the dagger, but let him free him once he realized his intentions were good.'They murdered a maid and continued to move through the castle.' Jimin murmured, cold sweat dropping from his forehead. 'They are still here, but the guards don't know where.'Jin studied the marks on his wrists, looking up at the Prince. His memory filled with what Yoongi told him before, telling about the humans behind the gate who wanted them dead.Hoseok rushed to Jin's side, pulling him into a quick hug. 'Are you alright?' He asked, last seen the other when he was taken back by the guards who beat him up. Jin still wore the cuts and bruises, but was mostly fine. Especially not that he met his wolf friend again. Jin smiled weakly and nodded his head. 'I'm alright Hoseok.' He then turned back to the Prince, who's name he now remembered after speaking with Yoongi. He was his younger brother Jimin, who loved to learn about magic.'What do you want us to do to help?' He asked, ignoring the face Hoseok made as he offered to help.Jimin swallowed once before speaking. 'What i'm asking is something that you most likely will not do.'Jin understood, nodding his head. He wanted him to heal the King.Jin looked at Hoseok, his friend who understood him better than anyone in a situation like this. As creatures, they shared the same past and future in Solaria. They knew what the King had done and what he could do in the future. The King was a powerful man who held everything in his hand, including their lives.Jin thought for a moment. He heard the thunder, weapons and screams of people outside. He thought of the may humans who had already lost their lives and how many more would be lost because of this fight. Though human lives, they were still precious. Every live was precious and worth healing and saving, no matter what anyone else would try and tell him.'Will you hate me?' Jin then asked, turning to Hoseok.The werewolf looked at him for a moment, before turning to the floor. 'I will not hate you, fairy. But i won't be able to understand your actions or why you chose to do what you did.' He spoke. Jin nodded his head.He wouldn't expect anything more from someone who had their whole family hunted and killed by these same people. Jin was caught in the middle and being torn apart. But he needed to live in the moment and think what was for the best right now.Right now he cared about the lives being ended outside the castle. He wanted the fight to come to an end and begin the healing process. It would take a while to heal the wounds that this fight had caused, but perhaps bringing the King back to his old self would help. Jin wanted to believe in that with all his heart, and pray that he wasn't making the wrong decision.Perhaps it was time to push back the years worth of hate and despise for other, and begin with the long process of forgiving each other. That would begin from him, as Jin would forgive the humans who did him wrong.It would take a while until others were able to join him, but he was sure others would soon too realize they were all acting angry for nothing. They all needed to look inside their selves and see what was the most important thing for them. For him, it was to remain kind and helpful.Jin knew what he had to do, and he wished other creatures would someday understand why he chose to do as he did.He nodded his head, turning to Jimin. 'Alright. Take me to him.' * Yoongi let out a growl as pressure was applied to his wound. He bit his lip and turned his head away as the field medical team worked on the injury on his thigh.'God, Yoongi.' Taehyung sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. 'I told you to stay back because the archers were-''I knew about the archers being away from their places, as you told me a hundred times before.' Yoongi interrupted him, squeezing his eyes shut as a stinging cleaning solution was placed on his wound. He made the mistake of travelling too far from the gates of the castle, fighting off the people who dared to come near the now grumbled walls of the gates. The archers had ran out of their arrows and could no longer help from the above, making it easier for the citizens to attack. Two men ambushed him in the crowd full of others and were quick to act. Yoongi was dragged away by Taehyung who stayed near him at all times, but wasn't close enough to stop the attack.Yoongi was brought back inside where his injuries were treated. He had a few cuts and bruises from previous fights, but this particular fight left him with a dagger pointing out of his other thigh. It was a bitch to take it out, and so was the cleaning solution that burned like hell that was applied to clean the wound from any infection.Taehyung of course blamed himself, and Yoongi knew it was his own fault for fighting without any thought or being more careful. But he was now told not to go in anymore, as he could not fight with that injury of his.Jungkook was already busy on the sight, being the one of many doctors who were helping inside the first floor with the injured soldiers and guards. He was there when they brought Yoongi in, and the he was almost pulled away when he decided to walk up and hit the Prince on the head. Yoongi did deserve it, for causing such worry.'You're an idiot.' Jungkook murmured, walking past his cousin every now and then. Yoongi would ignore the other, finding it better to just concentrate on forgetting the pain instead.He felt bad for not being able to participate in the fight anymore, but he needed to know when to stop. He already did his fair share of protecting his people for now. Now he just needed to trust his soldiers and Taehyung's guards. Yoongi had not received the news from his father yet, but he was quick to realize that something was off. The first clue was that most of the medical team was down in the first floor and not with his father like they usually were. They were no longer needed there, so they volunteered to help with the injured soldiers.Yoongi also saw the way Jungkook acted. He was kinda out of it. And figuring as he remembered his cousin last visiting his father before the commotion outside, Yoongi just knew it had something to do with his fathers condition. The King was being let past away peacefully.Perhaps it was because of a state of shock, grief and horror, but Yoongi just couldn't get himself to feel sad at all. He hoped this was just because he was too busy to start sulking for their fathers fate and because he had been so stressed lately, but he knew it wasn't because of that. Yoongi was actually, quite happy.He was happy that his father could be away from his pains for once and rest. He has worked himself to the point of being bedridden and ill, so perhaps it was time for a break. Yoongi however still wasn't too sure about his own future after all this. 'Did the priest come?' Yoongi asked, watching as Jungkook finished off with the stitches in his leg. He tried not to disturb the other too much, already having him poke him one too many times in the nerve with that needle of his. Jungkook said it was an accident, but Yoongi cannot believe that anymore after it happened over ten times.Jungkook hummed out, his glasses dropping slightly on his nose. 'He got an emergency invitation for tomorrow morning.' He murmured. 'Uncle never even believed in God, so perhaps the priest's presence won't matter that much to him.' He added with a whisper.Yoongi stayed quiet for a moment before letting a small laugh break through his tight lips he was biting. 'Name one person in this cursed castle who actually believes in God.' He spoke, crossing his arms. 'I don't think ever the priest himself believes in the things that he preaches, having cheated on his wife with the maids.'Jungkook smirked, reaching his his metal scissors to snip of the end of the stitch he made. 'Since when have you been interested in castle rumors this much? I thought you hated hearing about the massive stories that were going around.''I do hate them. It's just that i can't avoid them either being with Jimin so much.' Yoongi spoke, without even thinking through his words before opening his mouth.It has now been more than a day since the incident, when their fight ended up in Jimin being put in jail. Yoongi thought it was dumb at first and that his brother would surely come back to his senses after a few hours, but he was tougher than it seemed.Jimin truly seemed to believe in what he said and he wanted to fight for those said things. He wanted to prove a point and that surely worked on Yoongi.'I'll get him out soon.' Yoongi then said. Jungkook looked up from the wound he was working on and at his cousin instead. 'Look, i hate to say it but i have no other choice.' Yoongi sighed. 'Jimin was right, i was wrong. I need to grow up and realize what my fate has set for me. I am the future King of Solaria and i need to start acting like one sooner or later. I have been trying to run away from this for as long as i can remember, but it is time to stop running.'Jungkook just looked at him for a moment, with a smile on his lips. 'What?' Yoongi then asked.'Nothing. I am just happy that you thought like that, as Taehyung had predicted this and already proceeded with his plan and Jimin should be running free in the castle by now.' He simply said and turned back to the wound with his needle and pliers.Yoongi blinked a few times. 'You made a plan to release Jimin, without telling me?''Well yeah.' Jungkook said. 'We couldn't tell you, because we still didn't know if you had something against him. So we decided it was for the best if you found out later.'Yoongi let out a laugh in disbelieve. 'What exactly is later in your terms?' He then asked and only received Jungkook shrugging his shoulders.'You are so lucky to be my family, i hope you know that.' Yoongi murmured and hissed out as Jungkook poked around with his needle again. * So this was the powerful King who every creature on land feared and hated with all their heart. The old man laying lifeless on a bed with no sign of life in him.Jin cocked his head to the side as they moved closer to the bed together, watching as Jimin moved to lock hands with the King.'He is barely breathing anymore.' The Prince murmured, watching over to the two creatures standing further away. 'He won't make it over the night like this.'Jin nodded his head and sighed. 'I am not a miracle maker. My magic is limited and cannot heal everything.' He spoke and Jimin nodded his head slowly. 'But i will still try.' He added, hoping to make some kind of hope rise in the room.Hoseok looked unsure and like he shouldn't be in the room, and that was exactly what he was thinking about. He still wasn't too sure about this plan and why Jin wanted to do this. Hoseok knew what he himself would want, and it wasn't to heal the man in the bed. He still wanted revenge and justice for what had happened, but he wasn't allowed that chance.Jin wasn't feeling any better either. He was even more unsure than the wolf, being the one who was performing the healing.But he already made his mind, and that was to give this a shot. He wanted to try and heal the King, even though it seemed so wrong.Jin took a deep breath as he moved closer to the bed, taking Jimin's spot.His movements were unsure as he grabbed the cold hand of the King's. He looked away instead of looking at the old man, as it made him feel uncomfortable. In the end he just closed his eyes and tried to give all his focus on this.He began the healing process, Hoseok and Jimin seeing as his wings began glowing in the dark room. The glow spread to Jin's finger tips, seeping into the paper thin skin of the King's. Jin's expression turned once he saw the problem inside.Damaged, dead and old tissue and broken blood vessels with unknown masses all over the walls of tissue. He was seeing years and years of worth cancer and diseases left alone without seeing a professional. The brains nerves were damaged and memory wiped away almost completely. There was nothing but skin, bones and a weak heart that was still somehow beating.Jin tried. He traveled through the whole body, looking for anything that could make him believe that he would be able to save this man by seeing something good, but there wasn't much to work with. Jin could not turn back time and wipe away the years worth of damage done inside by smoking and drinking.Jin furrowed his brows as he let his magic travel through the body he was holding onto. He was seeing darkness, damage and masses that could not be cured, healed or taken away. There was nothing he could do to make the King survive a day longer. He had already been let fall into a state where he cannot do much for himself anymore, and the same goes for Jin. He needed to be honest with himself and the rest. This was something that went over his own powers.Jin came back to his own reality with a tired sigh, opening his eyes.He was out of breath, trying to catch it so he could speak with Jimin who was waiting for answers. But he didn't know what to say. Should he apologize? Tell him how things truly were and why he could not heal his father. Would he perhaps not believe him?Jimin seemed to have understood the situation just from the look on his face. He gave Jin a assuring smile. 'It is alright. If there is nothing you can do, then there is nothing else that we can do for him.' He spoke, looking at his father.Jin realized he had still been holding onto the hand, now placing it back onto the bed carefully.'This should have been healed years ago, before he got into this condition.' Jin murmured, wanting to explain his reasons. Jimin nodded his head, now getting up from his seat.He looked at Jin and Hoseok as he did so. 'I cannot thank you enough for doing this, even after everything that happened.' He thanked the two. Jin felt like he did not deserve the words and Hoseok didn't understand why he was included. But Jimin had his own reasons behind doing so.These two creatures just threw away everything that they had ever been taught about humans and the King. They knew that this man was the reason behind their suffering and the reason why their families are no longer here. They did so just to try and heal one heart, of a horrible man who didn't even deserve that opportunity. But they gave it to him anyway.But everyone could see the end and it was near.The King was dying, and a new one needed to rise.Yoongi might still be scared and unsure of his own future, and the memories of his unhappy family and evil father might hunt him during his path to becoming a King himself, but he has all the help he could need.He has a brother who will never leave his back, a friend who he has known since they were just little and a cousin, who is sometimes quite annoying, but they will be there every step of the way.And perhaps to help recreate Solaria in a whole new light, the crew have gathered some helpers along the way who know about the dark parts of the land.That was still unsure, but one thing was for sure.When the smoke falls, and the guns have been set down in the end of this fight, the bells will ring to show the death of many fallen ones and one above the others. Then, will the rewriting of Solaria's history begin. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Though already spring, winter had not given up quite yet.Jimin looked at the few snowflakes that were still raining down from the grey sky, never quite making it to the ground as they melted before they could reach it. The front yard of the castle looked like a mess, as the construction work on the new wall and gate had just begun, a few days after the war that had now gotten it's name as 'King's death war' by the locals.Jimin walked slowly and placed his hands into his pockets, regretting not bringing his gloves with him, as he thought it would be much more warmer outside. He was wrong and now had to pay that price by feeling chilly.He had only today mustered up the courage to visit outside of the castle, seen what had happened behind the castle walls by a glimpse. The amount of bodies that a fight could create was always surprising, and not in a positive way. Only after the fallen people had been removed from the area, did Jimin manage to make it outside to catch some air.The last few days have been hectic. The King passed away the night of the fight, not showing any sign of response to anything before he stopped breathing before the morning came. A priest visited and so began the plans of the funeral and the coronation.Jimin has been able to see his brother only by a glimpse in the past few days, as the other has been so busy working out things like his own coronation and their fathers funeral. Jimin was also offered the chance to participate in the planning of the funeral, but he gladly refused. He didn't feel like he should be apart of the planning, as even going to the whole event seemed a little off.He wasn't welcomed to the funeral by many people anyways, after the word got out of his jail time. People had mixed reactions learning that he was allowed back inside the castle as a family member and his whole surrendering act didn't affect anything in any way. It was only because he was the future King's brother that he was allowed back inside, otherwise he would have been screwed.Solaria is still split in half after what happened a few days ago. After the attack many people still made small attacks into the castle, and are most likely planning new ones at the moment. They want the current royal family out and replace them with a new one, who are from the city. Yoongi has been kept under a very close eye, making sure he is kept safe before his coronation and after it. They cannot risk losing another head of the throne. Jimin would be up next.Taehyung has been busy recruiting new members into the guardsmen crew, as they lost a few in the battle. There was a silent moment held a day after the fight in their honor, each of their families informed about the sad news by the guards.It was a sad and confusing day. Fairy Jin and wolf Hoseok have decided to stay inside the castle for a moment, as leaving now could be a huge risk for them. Humans in Solaria still have their hatred towards creatures, making it dangerous.This also gave the two of them the great chance of being able to make a difference. Both of them would help Yoongi with redoing the laws affecting their people in a negative way, and help make more positive things. It would take weeks, years before people would take custom to these new laws and actually act by them. You wouldn't be able to walk outside as a werewolf a day after the law came through, or perhaps in months.The change was seen even inside the castle as the two creatures were moved to a better side of the castle and given proper rooms to sleep in. People who shared the same living area as them were making complaints about just nonsense things by this point, just to try and get them moved away.Jimin and the rest found this quite childish and not worth their time, having their hands full of so many things already.Jungkook has barely had any time to eat and sleep, having taken full control of the health center in the castle. He is currently the only doctor there, with a few nurses helping him. The others in the once big medical team were cut off, as they were needed elsewhere and the castle no longer needed them since the King no longer needed the extra medical help. But perhaps leaving one extra doctor wouldn't have been a bad idea, as Jungkook asked Yoongi many times to do. Now he just has to bite his tongue and fight through the day.Jimin has been helping Jin and Hoseok get as comfortable as they could. The rooms made for a human weren't exactly what the two needed and wanted in a room, but it beat the cell rooms with just a mattress.Both of them had been unsure about this at first, about staying in the castle at such a time when everything seemed to be so out of control. But they both realized this was also a perfect opportunity for them to make a difference when helping with the new laws, as they truly had an idea what the new laws should look like.But they needed to be patient and wait until it was their time to help, as first the royals needed to take care of other things first. Yoongi was going from adviser to another, from a hour long meeting to another. He was signing papers and speaking to different people who he assumed worked for the castle. He didn't even really know anymore as he was so out of it, just staying awake and working so much.Jimin was actually shocked that his brother had the time to attend to the funeral. Yoongi joined Jimin, guards following them a few steps behind. The future King held a umbrella over his head, covering himself from the small specs of snow still falling down. He walked next to Jimin and made sure he too was under cover.'Did you manage to sleep at all?' Jimin then asked, catching a glimpse of his tired looking brother. He himself didn't look too good either, not getting much sleep due to the anxious feeling in his stomach because of this morning.Yoongi shook his head. 'No, i didn't.' He answered and Jimin nodded his head. It was expected, as both of them were nervous because of this day. The funeral of their father was planned in a few days, and would be happening today.Many people all over the country were invited, and so were many others who knew the royal family some way. Jimin and Yoongi most likely would not remember most of them, never even seen them or only seeing some of the business men with their father when they were young.This day would be something to remember, but it wasn't something too important to the two.Yoongi already said his goodbyes to his father when he last saw him when he was still alive. He knew already then that he would not make it, and knew his father would pass away no matter what. He was fine with this fact and already said his goodbyes. Jimin felt the same, having heard the news from Jin the night when their father passed away. This funeral didn't mean much to them, expect that it made the two of them truly realize that their lives were about to change for ever.Jimin and Yoongi walked closer to the small church, walking next to each other.Jimin looked at his brother, who he used to see as someone who he could bully and make funny jokes to as a child. They were no longer children, and Yoongi had grown to a man who held a lot of responsibility on his shoulders. Perhaps Jimin too had changed, but just couldn't see it himself.Yoongi held his head high, knowing he had big shoes to fill up. Many people expected good things to come from him and the expectations were high. He hated to be a burden and wished that he could make everyone happy. That wasn't always possible and it annoyed the other. Yoongi wanted to prove everyone that he was capable of being a good King, and better than his father. People like Jimin, Jungkook and Taehyung already knew that, but others didn't have such strong believes. Yoongi was young, didn't have much experience in running something so big as a country and he wasn't a crowd favorite. The recent fight made the air feel very electric when standing in front of the citizens of Solaria. People didn't like the fact that he wasn't married yet and had a past full of fighting. He didn't seem like the normal King that the country would usually have, and that seemed scary to many people.But Yoongi was set on becoming Solaria's King. He would take his spot on the throne and work together with the people who he trusted to make Solaria stand tall again. It would be a long process, but he was ready to take on the challenge.Jimin knew his brother could do it. Having known the other for all his life, he knew what his brother could do and couldn't. Yoongi was strong, smart and kind hearted despite sometimes seeming slightly cold. Jimin trusted him with his life, and knew the other would keep him safe. He hoped others would be able to see that in him as well. The church was filled to the brim with people from all over the country and some from beyond Solaria's boarders as well.Many greeted them and said their condolences. Both Yoongi and Jimin acted kind and polite in front of the important future company men, bowing and shaking hands with them. When this was over with, they were able to join Jungkook and his mother at the very front of the church.Their aunt was dressed in all black, a veil decorating her beautiful face. She had red eyes and a stuffy nose from crying. Jungkook sat next to her, holding her hand that were covered in black leather gloves. The familiar images of Jungkook's fathers funeral popped into Jimin's head, remembering seeing her in a similar state all those years back. This perhaps opened up the old wounds all over again for her.Jungkook was too young to remember the death of his own father, and perhaps he couldn't remember him at all. This didn't remind him of anything, but he could understand the pain his mother was going through.Yoongi remembers the death of their mother, and Jimin does too vaguely. Yoongi remembers hearing the news from his then baby sitter, instead of his father who should have been the one to break the news. Even more heartbreaking, Yoongi had to be the one to tell Jimin, that their own mother had passed away.It was then that Yoongi had to give up the sweet moments of being a child and he had to grow up into a young adult. He took on the role of caring for Jimin and making sure he would never have to go through the same that he did. The four of them took their seats and the ceremony began a moment after.The funeral lasted for hours, first beginning with many speeches held by people who were close with the King. Jimin and Yoongi couldn't recognize any of the people who spoke about their father in such a nice matter. The words they said out loud in front of the many people didn't fit with their fathers actual personality at all.It didn't seem like a funeral made for the family at all, and perhaps that was because for the past many years neither Yoongi nor Jimin thought of their father as a member of their family. He was someone who they spoke about as their King and not a father.So the loss of him wasn't something that tore the two apart, and in a way that was even more horrible than missing him.But if it was one thing that the two learned from the time that they had with their father, it was to do better. They needed to remember the way that they were treated and remember to treat others better. Yoongi now wanted to become a great King who would do more than his own father ever could have. He also wants to become a greater father than he ever was, and Jimin shares the same thought. Though seemingly their father never taught them anything, he actually did. It was to never become a man like him. The funeral included the King's casket lying there in front of the castle as people made their speeches. The casket was kept closed, as the King's current look was something so different from before he got sick. People wanted to remember him like he was before, when he was still healthy and had his memory.But the image of him after falling sick was still fresh in Jimin and Yoongi's minds. The once chubby man had turned into skin and bone, as he refused to eat for weeks. He lost weight rapidly, pounds falling off of him like dust.Everyone else remembered the King as a jolly man with a nice heart and love towards his kingdom, as his two sons remembered him as the man who never loved them or the people he had under him.Solaria was just a way to make money for him. It didn't matter to him that he ended up killing many lives and destroying families along the way, as long as things looked alright inside the castle.He was a selfish man, and no one else would ever believe that. * Jin looked at the room in awe, Jimin's words ringing in his ears from their conversation before the other left for the funeral.'You may use the library, to keep yourself from becoming bored. It is right next to your room, so feel free to visit whenever you want to!'Truly speaking, Jin was getting bored. He was now given the access to bathe, get food and sleep comfortably but that was it. He didn't want to venture out into the castle, as he still feared the guards inside the castle, the images of what happened a few days ago still fresh in his mind.Of course not all guards were scary and bad, Jin learned what when Jungkook brought Taehyung to him and Hoseok. The two recognized him from the auction weeks ago. They didn't really have a great first meeting, especially with Hoseok but they got along better now.Taehyung for some reason wanted to make sure that the two of them got guards to look after them that were the best at their work. Taehyung didn't need to do this, as he could have just left them with their old guards who watched over their front doors. But Jin had an idea why the sudden change happened.Yoongi must have had some say in this change for the best, knowing that Jin's previous guards took advantage of him.Jin was sadly used to it and could have lived with that, but knowing that the Prince decided to take some time from his already busy life just to make sure he and Hoseok was okay, was something Jin would remember.Hoseok was still wary and nervous around anyone else other than Jin. He was feeling vulnerable in his human form and didn't enjoy being around the guards and humans, but Jin's company made him feel calmer. The fairy had a nice aura around him, that made Hoseok feel more at home.He didn't like the idea of venturing outside the comfort of his room at first, but Jin asked him so many times that the other just gave in.The two then went into the library just around the corner and Hoseok had to admit that he was glad that he came, seeing the big comfortable looking red sofa on the middle of the big room. He immediately took it to his own, as Jin began looking through the many shelves of books.There were so many books decorating the long walls. They were in different sizes, languages and categories. Some were old and some looked quite new.Jin frowned.Hoseok glanced over from his laying position, looking over to the quiet fairy. 'Is there something wrong?' He asked, growing slightly worried as the cheerful fairy seemed down.Jin drew his eyes away from the books, looking over to the wolf. 'They are all in human writing. I can't read any of it.' He murmured and began walking towards Hoseok.He sat next to the laying wolf, who now looked at the books with a stern look. 'You fairies have a different language? I never knew...' Hoseok murmured, now getting up into a sitting position.Jin hummed. 'All fairies communicate with our own language. I learned Solaria's most often spoken human language only a few years ago.'Hoseok shook his head. 'I could have never noticed anything odd about the way you spoke. Hard to believe since you know even the hardest words to say!'Jin smiled. 'That was because i had a good teacher. They never taught us how to read or write however, as they didn't know how to either. The leader of our colony taught all the children human languages, since they thought it would be important in the future. I never could have guessed how important.' He murmured.Hoseok hummed. He could see from Jin's expression, that though he was smiling he was slightly sad due to what he just said. He was reminded again of his old life and home.'Hey, you know what.' Hoseok then spoke, getting up from his seat. 'To make things easier for you, how about we continue with your human language studies?' He asked, pointing to a table and a set of chairs placed at the corner of the room.'Really?' Jin's wings fluttered as he got up. 'Could you teach me?''Sure!' Hoseok smiled, moving with the fairy to the study.The two sat down and Hoseok grabbed a piece of paper and a pen set to the side of the table. Jin watched as he began scribbling down something, presumably letters of the alphabet. 'I didn't know werewolves knew human languages. I thought you spoke with each other in only wold form, and liked to stay in it most of the time.' Jin spoke, leaning against his hands.Hoseok hummed and nodded his head. 'That is correct. Us werewolves evolved from our previous evolution many many years ago, so we could fit in with the human if we wished. My pack stayed by our selves, only rarely coming into contact with humans.''They only spoke wolf to each other and stayed in their human forms. That was how things always were and would be.' Hoseok spoke, hand skilfully drawing the letters on paper for Jin to learn from.'But traditions were made to change, right?' Hoseok smiled as he looked up from his paper. 'My father was a black sheep of the family. He didn't enjoy going by the rules and staying in a mold. He wanted to see if he could bend the rules and break free to do something new.''He ventured outside of the pack a lot, meeting different wolves and even humans. He began experiencing with his human body and figured out that he could stay in it an survive just like in his wolf form. He soon realized he had learned the language and made some friends along the way as he met non hunting humans.''Before he even knew it, he had found and fallen in love with my mother, a human.' Hoseok had a small smile dancing on his lips as he spoke, eyes still on the paper. 'Just as it was illegal now it was illegal then to have anything to do with creatures. You would be punished horribly if you were to be seen doing something with any non human. My father and mother were playing with their lives, seeing each other so frequently.''Eventually my fathers pack grew tired of him disappearing all the time. They gave him two options, to either leave the pack or to stay but not to have any contact with the humans any more. He was torn because of this and couldn't decide. My mother decided for him, and they parted ways.'Jin was listening to Hoseok speak with wide eyes, like a kid listening to their parent tell them a magical story. This was interesting, as Jin hadn't heard much about werewolf history and wanted to learn more about his friend.Hoseok's expression changed slightly at this pause, his smile having disappeared and his gaze seeming a bit more serious.'It was then one evening, many months from their separation that my father met my mother in the forest again. She carried news that changed everything. She had given birth to me, a hybrid wolf son who would give her nothing but harm if she were to keep me.''My father understood and took me in, recognizing me as one of his own. He was worried to bring me into the pack, as i had been born into my human form. Being so young i wouldn't be able to form into a wolf in any time soon, meaning that my father also needed to care for me in his human form.''Things were complicated, but my mother knew for sure that she would not be able to care for me because of my wolf half. She was also sure that she would not be able to join my father, because of her family back home. She decided to go back and so did my father.''The pack didn't accept me in at first, finding my human form odd and my blood ruined due to the human in it. But they had no other choice in the end, as my father became a leader of the pack soon after.''I lived my infant live in my human form, my father and the pack now taking care of me. I was able to transform into my wolf form when i was around one years old. I never thought to change back after that, until being captured by the humans in the auction. So you could say my human language isn't that crisp either.' Hoseok laughed.Jin nodded his head. 'Did you ever think to go and visit your mother? Did your father ever tell about her to you?' Jin then asked, wanting to hear about the missing parts that Hoseok never spoke about.'I always remember knowing about me being a hybrid, as everyone in the pack knew. It was once something that i hated and wanted to forget about, as the times got harder between wolves and humans. We became enemies, and i hated being someone who had something in common with the humans. I am alright with my heritage now, even though after all that the humans did to me and my pack.''That is mostly just because of my love for my mother, who i never met since my birth. My father told me of her death when i was old enough to understand. Her past with my father came back to her and she had no other choice but to confess, that leading to her death. She was killed because she spent time with a werewolf, ending up birthing a half human creature.' Hoseok spoke, hands now stopped writing. 'I heard she was a lovely lady, it was a shame.''That is correct, it was a shame.' Jin spoke, looking at Hoseok.'I am fine now. The past cannot be changed, but the future can.' He spoke, now looking at Jin. 'I cannot have this hatred towards humans all my life. It will cause me my death. I need to learn and forgive some day. But it will take long until i can get there.'Jin understood him better than anyone. 'We will get there someday.' He smiled.Jin too needed to get past the bad blood he shared with the humans. It was known that humans killed and used his kind for their own good, in horrible ways. Jin didn't understand how it was possible for some kind to be so horrible and selfish in their ways. 'The humans came in one time after another, always collecting a few- telling my people that they would stay safe this way. They collected the beautiful, healthy and strong to take with them, selling them forward for good gold. My people grew tired of this and decided to put an end to it. The humans fought back, and with more force. My colony was destroyed that night, and i never saw them again.' Jin spoke.'All us creature have lost someone important because of events like this. Perhaps because of humans and their actions. But that doesn't mean that all humans are alike.' Jin suggested and Hoseok agreed with him.'My mother wasn't like the humans who failed her and got her killed. She was different, and so are many more. The people inside this castle are good hearted people, i can sense that.' Hoseok spoke.Jin nodded his head. 'The future King and Prince realize that their kind have done many things wrong, to each other and us creatures. They realize that there needs to be a change. We just need to trust them that they can create one.'Hoseok hummed. There was a pause. 'It will be difficult to trust them completely.''I agree.' Jin sighed. 'But do we have any other choice? You and i have no place to go to, as our homes have been taken over by the humans. We are the only of our packs and colonies.' Jin murmured, regretting sounding so depressing all of a sudden. But it was the truth.They could miss home and wish to leave the castle, and they probably could leave if they wanted to. But where could they go? The places they once called home were no longer there, and neither were the people they loved. Their only chance was to stay and trust, trust that Yoongi and Jimin knew what they were doing and could help their kind live better in the future. They had no other choice.'Guess we should just make ourselves comfortable.' Hoseok murmured. 'Darn, spring is here soon.'Jin looked at him for a moment, confused to what the wolf meant by that. He then realized. 'Ah. Worried about your rut?' Hoseok simply just nodded his head. 'I agree. Heats won't be an easy thing to get through either in here.' He then added.'Wait, do fairies go through mating season as well?' Hoseok then asked.Jin nodded his head. 'Well yes, don't all creatures?''Not that i know.' Hoseok laughed. 'I thought werewolves were the only ones.'Perhaps Hoseok didn't know about other creatures nearly as much as he though he knew. Jin was the first fairy he ever met and spoke with, so he didn't know much about his species other than the fact that they were hermaphrodites. Wolves thought this was weird and liked to make fun of the species because of it. Hoseok never really understood what was wrong about it, but couldn't really understand it either.Now that they were on the topic of this and he was sat next to a fairy, it was the perfect opportunity to ask about all the unclear parts.'So how does that work exactly?' He then asked, enjoying the slight expression of panic that flashed across Jin's face.'How does what work?' Jin coughed, cheeks decorated with a slight tint of red.Hoseok laughed. 'Oh come on, you know what i mean.' He sang. 'I am just curious, and since we're on the topic. How do fairy heats work? I never even knew about your kind having them so i am just interested, that is all.'Jin knew about werewolf heat cycles and ruts, as pretty much everyone knew about them. Even humans. Wolfs were born onto three different categories; alpha, beta and omega. Both male and females got a role, that didn't matter based on their gender. Based on their role, they were able to conceive a child in different ways and be in a more popular position to get mated. The alphas were the most popular in males, females usually omegas. There were a few exceptions, which lead to male pregnancies and females who could impregnate.This all was odd to humans and some other creature species, but it made total sense to Jin who was a fairy.Their kind had only one gender, and everyone was able to be with whoever they wanted to, despite their outer look. Jin himself had more manly features, like wide shoulders, chest and a long frame. But he also shared some features that others would call feminine, like a small waist and wide hips. That didn't mean anything specific, as all fairies worked the same way. Every fairy could be with another fairy, despite their outer look and have a happy future together with the ability to procreate. Every fairy had the option to either impregnated or to conceive, and switch between the two easily. This was all very normal to Jin, but he understood that the concept might seem odd to others. So that is why he suddenly seemed to shy about this, as Hoseok was so eager to know. But in the end it could't sound too odd to him, as his kind too procreated in ways that was out of the norm.'Well, uh.' Jin spoke, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. 'What is there really to talk about? We fairies go through heats every year in spring, when it is the best time to conceive a child. Don't the wolves go through basically the same thing?''Yeah, we do.' Hoseok agreed, looking a bit sly. Jin had a bad feeling about what he was about to say next.'But only the females and omegas go through heat, while the males and alphas go through a rut. Our roles have a more precise job on what to do during our mating season. How do you know which role to play?'Jin's cheeks felt hotter suddenly, and he felt embarrassed to have this conversation. 'There are no roles when it comes to mating between fairies.' He tried to explain. 'You speak with your partner and figure it out together, doing what seems the best for the both.''I see.' Hoseok hummed. Jin let out a small sigh, happy that the other seemed happy with his answer. He was feeling slightly uncomfortable with his conversation topic, and would prefer it if they would change the subject soon.Hoseok didn't have any thought on dropping the subject any time soon, however.'So which role did you take with your previous partners?'Jin sighed slowly and got up from his seat. 'I think out little language lesson is done for today.' He laughed as Hoseok awed out loud.'Oh come on, i was just curious!' The wolf called after Jin, who moved away from the table and towards the door.Jin just smiled politely as he peeked through the door that he was closing. 'I'll see you tomorrow, have a lovely day.' * Yoongi sat there, his eyes travelling from the wall to the table. He could hear what the advisers were talking about, but it all went past his ears. He couldn't really care less about the color of his jacket during the coronation.He would rather be somewhere else right now, perhaps reading the big pile of letters sent from the citizens who needed help or speaking with Taehyung about the new guards. He also wanted to rest and have some time to himself as well, but that seemed almost impossible these days.Yoongi sighed as he sunk deeper into his seat, looking outside the window to see if it was already dark outside.The funeral went by surprisingly fast, only lasting a few hours. Their father was buried on the graveyard, next to their mother and close to their grandfather. It was a tradition, but both Jimin and Yoongi couldn't help but think how their mother would have felt about this, their father laying next to her.Many people spoke with Yoongi, most of them being business men who worked with the royals from other countries. They wished to work together with some projects once he would become King. Yoongi would nod his head and smile politely, not having the heart to tell the people to think realistically. Yoongi wouldn't have the time to work together with them, when his main priority once becoming a King will be to help Solaria get back to it's old self.He already had so many things that needed to be done, starting from reconstructing the castle and helping the poor. He had to rewrite the laws and work on making them becoming a reality together with the creatures.He had many things on his mind, and he definitely didn't need this;'Excuse me, what?' Yoongi coughed as something caught his ear. The advisers around the table looked at each other for a moment before turning to the Prince. 'The wedding day.' The oldest repeated himself, looking at Yoongi like he was the one acting crazy.'After the coronation, your wedding should be held soon after to avoid any bad reputation from the people.' The old man explained with shaky hands, placing a few papers in front of Yoongi. There he saw a model of the wedding invitation, drawn out pictures from the decorated church and even a detailed model of what his garments would look like. Yoongi felt how his stomach turned.'No.' He said, pushing the papers back. 'There is no need for this. We need to focus on the coronation first.' He murmured, finding the situation very uncomfortable suddenly.Being a royal, Yoongi always knew that getting married and to someone who came from a good family was important and something that was always said to him. His father sometimes hurried him to meet some noble lady and to marry her in the end, the advisers did the same.Now over twenty, Yoongi has never been in a serious relationship.The castle was full of secrets, but it was no secret that sometimes a maid would be invited into the Prince's bed room. Yoongi was a young man with needs too, sometimes letting himself give in and use that power that he was given as a royal.But those quick one night stands weren't always good enough. Yoongi too wished to be able to meet people and to get to know them. He wanted to build a relationship. But it was tough as a busy man, who has memories of his own parents failed marriage.Yoongi didn't want to chain anyone into being with him by marriage, as that meant they would need to leave their own life behind. Life as a King would be busy and stressful, and Yoongi wasn't sure if he wanted someone to be there to see it all.Dating was impossible, as there just wasn't enough time. It was also recommended that all marriages inside the castle happened as a arranged marriage. A royal and another royal would be brought together, bringing some peace between their countries and helping with the trading. That was how things had always been done, but Yoongi wasn't a man of traditions. He preferred to break them. The advisers looked weirded out for a moment, before the eldest man turned back to Yoongi. 'Yoongi, this isn't something that you can push away forever.' He murmured out. 'Marriage is something that every King has to go through in order to become trusted by his allies.'Yoongi folded his arms, looking back at the man. 'I still do not think that arranged marriage is the right answer. We all have seen how well it has worked along the years.' He spoke, ignoring the fact how the modest men acted as he spoke about his fathers failed marriage. It was no secret that his parents never loved each other, being together only because they had to.'I do not want to stress myself with all of these things, as well as marrying someone by force and makings others suffer because of it. The bride would live her live in sadness, and that is not fair.' Yoongi spoke, hoping to make at least some of the advisers understand where he was coming from. 'I understand that Yoongi.' The man spoke, locking his fingers together as he looked at him. 'But there are just some things that you need to do as a King. Traditions are meant to be followed for a reason.'Another adviser got up from his seat, adding into the conversation. 'My Prince, there are many eager Princesses who wish to meet with you and hopefully make the wedding possible.' He spoke with a smile, showing his dirty golden teeth. 'They are young, beautiful and quiet when told. You could perhaps pick one for yourself that seems the best for you.'Yoongi stared at the man for a moment, feeling absolutely dumbfounded by what he said. 'You are speaking of these women like they are a bunch of horses, ready to be looked at and chosen as we want, using them how we wish.' Yoongi spat, feeling disgusted by what the man had said.He took a deep breath. Honestly, he would have wished that the man would remove himself from the room and have a private conversation with him. But instead he decided to stand up instead.Yoongi said nothing as he bowed quickly and darted out of the room. He had enough of this topic for today. This would come back to bite him in the behind someday, but he couldn't really care at the moment, wanting to get rid of his killer headache instead.Perhaps he could talk about this subject tomorrow, when he has slept more than four hours.This was a topic that was spoken about openly in the castle and outside. Everyone knew that a King needed a Queen. That was how things had always been like for as long as anyone could remember. The people needed to see a perfect picture of the royals, and Yoongi couldn't be a perfect King without a partner. This was how everyone else but him seemed to think these days.It was hard to break traditions as people didn't usually react to change too well. If everyone needed to soon learn the new laws and act by them, learning that the King was someone who didn't want to settle down and start a family was something that would truly be hard to learn.But Yoongi was sure everything would end up well in the end. It would be tough for people to realize the new changes and to have him as their King, but in the end they had no other choice. They could fight back, and they surely would, but they would fight back with more men and protect the castle.The next few years would be tough and hard on them all, but Yoongi had faith that everything would turn out well. * Jungkook removed the jacket he had been wearing outside, throwing it in the rack where most of his winter clothes hung from. Soon there would be no need for them anymore, as spring came in full force. But for now, he still wore the old woolen jacket when leaving his room because of the chilly wind. Taehyung always told him to do so.Speak of the devil, Jungkook turned around to see the other passed out on the small couch on his living room.Jungkook smiled as he walked up to the other, enjoying seeing the other sleeping. He had been fearing that the other hadn't gotten enough sleep these days, having been so busy with the army. Jungkook has been the same, being very busy in the operating room after the fight.He walked up to the other, sitting down on the couch and leaning in to brush away the strands of hair that had fallen to the others face. It was moments like this that Jungkook could really see the others true self. Seeing the true Taehyung who didn't need to put on a mask in front of his men, pretending to be a strong man who nothing could hurt. In fact, Taehyung had been hurt many times.The young man had been fighting his whole life. Escaping death many times, sometimes even knocking on deaths door.Taehyung held many secrets inside his closed heart, sometimes letting Jungkook close enough to have a peek inside.Taehyung, just like many of the guards were taken in as orphans. They had no other family than the other guards, and most of them never knew what life outside of the castle was like. They were trained to fight, protect and kill from a young age. They never had a proper childhood and didn't know what it was like to just remove their weapons and take a breath. They were said to be unable to feel love and to be able to love.That was, as Taehyung would like to say; Bullshit. He wasn't a killer machine without a heart. Everything he did and saw on the battle field was left on his mind as a result. He remembers every cry, body and kill he had to witness. It was a lot to keep inside one small heart.Jungkook was a doctor, but even he could not use what he had learned to fix the wounds left on his heart. He had to learn how to do that through other ways.Taehyung had a kind soul.He spoke about wanting to own a farm someday, like his rumored grandmother did as well. He wanted to take Jungkook with him, to build him a small infirmary where he could help the locals from. Taehyung sometimes spoke about wanting to cook their food, get a dog or a couple and perhaps find the space to even fit in a few of the orphan children from the same orphanage he was brought in from. Taehyung was a dreamer, and Jungkook was a thinker.Like his mother said; a life loving a soldier would be tough, but worth it in the end. Jungkook hoped she would be right. Though seeing the other laying there on his couch was adorable and calming, Jungkook didn't want the other to have a sore back tomorrow. He poked his side, waking the other in a not so gentle way.Taehyung blinked tiredly a few times, hair covering his face again as he turned around to see Jungkook hover over him. 'When did you get back? You should have woken me up sooner.' He murmured tiredly and got up.Jungkook smiled as he looked at the other. 'I only got here a minute ago. And i couldn't bare to wake you up immediately as you looked so calm and peaceful.' He spoke, watching as Taehyung tried to blink the sleep out of his eyes. He looked so adorable that he had to lean in and place a kiss on the tip of his nose.Taehyung let out a laugh, wiping the wetness off of his nose. 'That was gross, thank you.' He murmured.'You're welcome.' Jungkook answered, getting up from his seat to walk over to the mirror.He began removing his fancy clothes that he wore to the funeral. His hair was being held in place by some gel that smelled nice when it was applied to his hair. Now his black locks just felt dirty and sticky due to the product. His traditional clothes felt heavy on his shoulders, causing them to ache.Taehyung watched quietly from his place, resting his cheek against the pillows on Jungkook's sofa. 'Did the funeral end well?' He then asked, rolling onto his back.He spoke with Jungkook previously last night, the two of them staying awake only hours before the actual ceremony. Jungkook had been restless and anxious then, not being able to fall asleep easily.Jungkook kept having bad memories from back then. He sometimes lies and tells his mother that he couldn't remember the times when his father passed away, but he was lying. Seeing his own mother in so much pain and tears was something that no kid would be able to forget easily.Jungkook sadly cannot remember his father face, but he could swear that he could remember his voice slightly. He wasn't too young when he passed away in the field, but young enough to no longer have a clear image of him.He hated that, not being able to remember his own father. He was been trying to remember all his life, but he just could not bring the memories back no matter what he tried. His past was missing some peaces due to the pain that his brain had then tried to get rid of by pushing the sad moment away.But Jungkook would have liked to remember the moments, even though they would hurt him. But there was no way of changing what had happened, and just like he cannot bring his father back he cannot bring the memories of him back either.'It lasted for way too long.' Jungkook spoke, looking at himself from the mirror as he tried to open the ropes around his waist. 'I ate lunch with my mother, having a small chat with her afterwards. She was quite upset through the whole ceremony, and i cannot blame her. I let her speak about everything to make herself feel better.' Jungkook murmured, biting his lip as he became frustrated with the rope around his waist.'Hey.' Taehyung then said, soon on his side. 'Calm down.'Taehyung pulled the other away from the mirror, making it so that Jungkook had to look at him instead. Jungkook stayed quiet at Taehyung replaced his own hands and began untying the decorated rope around his waist.'Perhaps you too need to be given the chance to speak about everything to make yourself feel better.' Taehyung murmured, opening the rope with quick movements. Once open he placed a hand on the younger ones shoulder, slipping a hand under his garments and pushing them off of his shoulders.Jungkook stayed still, breathing through his nose and telling himself to stay calm under Taehyung's eyes. He felt sensitive and angry suddenly. He had so much build up inside of him, feeling like exploding soon. But he couldn't, as Taehyung didn't deserve to see that. 'I might have predicted that you could be slightly stressed after the ceremony and after this whole week.' Taehyung murmured, slowly undressing Jungkook in front of himself. 'There really hasn't been any time to slow down and breathe.' Jungkook let himself breath through his mouth with a sigh, nodding his head slightly. 'Yes, that would be nice.' He admitted, feeling slightly more relaxed as he saw Taehyung's smile.'I know you well.' Taehyung spoke, stepping back for a moment to place Jungkook's garments onto the sofa. Jungkook's skin shivered due to the cold, he threw a quick peek at the mirror next to him. He did look tired.'That is why i asked for the servants to prepare your bath today. I also guessed that i could rudely invite myself as well.' Taehyung smiled, getting back to his lovers side.Taehyung's hands were cold as they took their place on his shoulders. Jungkook reacted like out of reflex and took his spot on placing his hands on the others hips. He hummed as Taehyung's hands made their way into his hair, tugging on the longer strands of hairs that were free from the gel that servants applied to his hair before.'I guess i could allow that this one time.' Jungkook murmured, eyeing the showing skin from Taehyung's plain shirt. He wanted to mark that skin and let everyone know that he belonged to him. Perhaps he was being a bit too possessive, but that didn't mind Taehyung at all. 'Where is your ring?' Taehyung asked, trying to pretend like he didn't see the way that Jungkook was looking him up and down.'In my front pocket, like always.' Jungkook said, pointing at his garments. Taehyung then quickly disappeared from his spot and went to go look for the familiar silver ring, identical to the one he sometimes wore on his own finger.When they could not wear their rings, Jungkook would wear his own in his front pocket while Taehyung usually always wore his own on the necklace on his neck, that was decorated with many other pendants like his military tags.It was impossible to wear the rings on their fingers as only a few knew of their illegal relationship. Yoongi, Jimin and Jungkook's mother were the few who knew of the fact that the two were together. Rumors always ran inside the castle and many servants and guards also knew of this, but not for a fact as they had never been told personally.The rings meant a lot to the two, though quite cliche. Neither of them would call them engagement or wedding rings, but more like promise rings. A promise to be next to each other for the rest of their lives and to love each other through everything. There wasn't even a possibility of them getting married, as their love was seen as something disgusting and wrong.But the castle was full of secrets and surprising things, so perhaps their love wasn't one of the biggest sins committed there. Once he found the ring, Taehyung moved back to Jungkook's side. He took his hand and placed the ring on his ring finger. Jungkook looked as Taehyung's own ring was already seated on his own hand, shining in the dim room.Taehyung looked at the ring he placed on Jungkook's hand for a moment, happy with the way that it looked. He still remembers the first day when the two of them made the silly decision to get them.But that silly thing turned into something that is very important to the two of them these days, making it all worth it. Jungkook was glad that the bath was still very warm, calming his muscles when he dipped inside the big bathtub. He let his eyes close and feel how his heart beat slowed down as he relaxed. Taehyung was there behind him, Jungkook leaning against him.This was truly what he needed, the time to forget about everything and just feel his own body. The scented water smelled lovely and helped him to calm his busy mind. The gentle touch of Taehyung was what made his limbs feel like dough.Though having much on his own mind as well Taehyung still took the time to make something like this happen for the two of them.Sometimes Jungkook truly feel like if it wasn't for Taehyung's small efforts like these, then Jungkook would be able to go on through his days without going crazy. Sometimes he also felt like it was Taehyung who was keeping their relationship going through all these things.Taehyung was truly foolishly in love and so was Jungkook. Together they were even bigger fools, but that was how things just worked the best for them.Jungkook was sure by now, even in his young age. He was in too deep to ever get back up. Taehyung had stolen his heart and made him a fool for him. The soldier didn't perhaps know this, but the main reason why Jungkook still has the energy to get up from the bed in the morning these days is all because of him.Taehyung is what drives him to do his work, to eat and to breathe. He usually thought that perhaps there was something wrong with him and he was just addicted to him in some way. When first speaking with his mother about these things openly and when she had gotten used to the thought of her child liking men, she told him it was totally normal.She felt the same when meeting his father and when being together with him. It was young love that couldn't worn off even after months and years of being together. Once you found the right one, it would never change and stay like that forever.Call him crazy, but Jungkook would mind feeling like this forever, when that forever was spent with Taehyung. * The funeral really left Jimin thinking.He truly realized how alone he felt inside the room filled with other royals and business men only interested in making money. He felt like he did not fit into the group, and he could see the same in his brother. The two of them looked like two sore thumbs in the middle of everyone else.But Yoongi knew how to put on a play and pretend to fit in. He knew how to speak with the old men who spun around him like flies, wanting to speak with him about topics that made zero sense to Jimin. Yoongi didn't want the royal life either, but he sadly had no other choice but to go through with it, as he had a goal. He wanted to make a difference during his life and he was given the perfect chance when he would be made King. Jimin also wanted to be someone important and to make a difference during his life, but what did he have?All he knew was reading fairy tales and getting himself in trouble. He never did anything useful like Taehyung and Jungkook and got himself a job that would help with the society. Instead he stays inside the castle, hiding in his room from the eyes of the guards.He had enough of hiding and feeling sorry for himself, Jimin wanted to do something crazy and probably unhelpful. He wanted to test limits and see what he could do alone with the skills that he held. He never really had a challenging period during his childhood where he decided to rebel and he was quiet during his teens as well. Perhaps it was finally time to try to break the limits.There were many things that Jimin wanted to do. He wanted to experience the feeling of living alone without anyone else, caring for himself fully. He wanted to try hunting and fishing. He wanted to try building a house, raising cattle and even falling in love. None of those things were possible inside the castle, so he knew what he had to do. 'Jimin, you cannot be serious.' Yoongi groaned, rubbing his temples tiredly, eyes red from sleeping so little during the night. 'Please tell me you're joking and just trying to make me go crazy. Well congratulations, it is working.' 'I am being serious, sadly for you.' Jimin smirked, sitting down on Yoongi's table. 'Just hear me out first before completely putting my wish to the grave.' He spoke, holding his finger up to gesture his wish to make Yoongi stay quiet. His brother rolled his eyes and watched as Jimin placed a piece of paper down onto his desk.'Your coronation will be in a week. After that i will join your royal advisers group, becoming just as busy as you are right now.' Jimin spoke, playing with the pen he stole from his brothers desk. 'My wish to you, is that you will give me the right to do everything that i want during this week, outside of the castle.' Jimin said, smiling as he ended his sentence.Yoongi didn't look too excited with his idea, though. 'Jimin, is that really what is important at the moment?' He asked, questioning if his brother was truly living in the moment. They were going through their busiest week yet and he was asking for a week long holiday outside from the castle.Jimin's smile shook a bit but he managed to keep in on his lips. 'It is important to me, seriously.' He spoke. 'I truly feel like i have not gotten the chance to do what i want in my life ever, and when will i ever get another chance after your coronation?' He asked, looking at Yoongi.'Yoongi, i don't want to end up like father.' He said, hoping that he didn't sound too much like he was pegging. 'I truly believe that i'll go crazy in the future if i never see what it would be like to live outside the castle, as someone who is not apart of the royals. I just want to live for a moment, even if it is only for a week.'Yoongi has seen life outside of the castle when traveling with the guards. He has spent weeks and months staying in small cabins in the forest in some small village. He has met interesting people and some who didn't know of his royal background. Jimin too wanted to be treated as a human without the knowledge of his family and place of birth. He wanted to let go and be free, even if it was only for a week.Yoongi had always been over protective over him and he knew that. He knew that his brother feared for him and hoped his life would be easy and comfortable. But perhaps Jimin sometimes wanted life to be a bit different and adventurous. You would never experience something new if you stayed in your comfort zone for ever.Seeing how their father lived his whole life inside the castle, growing unhappy and going sick due to work. Jimin didn't want that to happen to him and his brother. In the end he knew Yoongi was smart enough to take care of himself, but he worried for himself.Even though perhaps sounding childish, Jimin wanted to go on an adventure.And even Yoongi couldn't stop him forever. He was crazy enough to leave even without his permission and the other knew that, so he agreed with him. 'I don't know Jimin.' He murmured, still not liking his plan. No matter how many times Yoongi tried to remind himself that his younger brother was an adult and could take care of himself just fine, he still found himself worrying about the other. He had grown so used to caring for Jimin that it became weird not to do so.But he needed to give Jimin the space to grow and mature, and to do things by himself. If he didn't, the other would just learn that everything was done for him and he didn't need to do much himself. And Jimin wasn't someone who would like that, as he was a very independent person who liked to learn new things. He would be able to do that inside the castle.And Yoongi felt sorry because of this. He too has lost years on his childhood, having to take in the role of taking care of Jimin. But what he sometimes doesn't realize was that Jimin also took care of him. He gave up just as much time away from his childhood that was supposed to be spent while playing and making friends. It was impossible to do those things while living inside the castle and being surrounded by all these people who they could never really get to know.Yoongi understood Jimin's wish of being let free for a moment and he secretly wished that he too could do the same. But it was impossible right now. So he at least wanted Jimin to experience that moment of freedom since he wouldn't be able to.Call him crazy, but Yoongi saw some sense in Jimin's plan.He leaned against his hands propped on top of the table, looking at Jimin with a sleepy look. 'Is there truly the need for a contract though?' He asked, quickly pointing towards the paper and pen placed on his table.Jimin cleared his throat as he realized what his brother was suggesting, surprised that there was a possibility that he would allow him to go through his crazy plan. He would have thought that it would take much longer to make him believe in him.'Yes there is.' Jimin then said, changing his position and moving next to his brother. 'This contract will be the one to make this whole thing work. Otherwise this all will be just useless.' He spoke.Yoongi looked mostly confused, also slightly worried. His brother could sometimes get a bit weird, with all that knowledge he had about magic and other odd stuff. Jimin also liked to play around a lot and make small pranks. Yoongi sometimes had a hard time figuring out if he was telling the truth at times due to his childish nature.But Jimin seemed to be quite serious about this, truly wanting this to happen. So Yoongi tried his best to go along with him and his plan, but he too had his limits.'This contract will keep you away from ordering any guards to follow me or check up on me. This would truly be a week where i would spent the whole time alone by myself and have some time to think. With no one guarding me.' Jimin spoke, waiting for Yoongi's response. Yoongi was honestly dumbfounded for a moment, going completely quiet. Until he managed to come back on earth from his thoughts. 'Are you losing your mind?' He finally asked, watching as Jimin let out a deep sigh.'No, seriously Jimin.' He spoke, lifting his hands to rub his temples once again. He would have such a bad migraine after this. 'You need to think realistically about these things. It would be way too dangerous for me to allow that to happen, and i hope you understand that.'Jimin bit his bottom lip for a moment before opening his mouth. 'I knew you would do this.' He murmured. 'I knew you wouldn't have any faith in me.'Yoongi looked confused for a moment. 'I do have faith in you, it is just that i know for a fact what lies outside the castle and you do not. You wish to be strong and independent on your own and that is totally possible in most scenarios. But not outside of the castle and alone.' Yoongi spoke, hoping that he sounded calm and not too upset. 'You would not get a fun week long vacation, but most likely lose your life instead.''And it's not because you don't trust me?' Jimin then finally asked, seeming bit less excited now that Yoongi killed his plan.'Of course not.' Yoongi said, expression seeming a bit more softer now. 'I trust you the most out of everyone, and you know that. You're the only one i tell my biggest worries and thoughts. So of course i trust you.'Jimin nodded his head, looking down at his hands. 'I trust you too.' He whispered. 'I know that you only think of whats the best for me in the long run.'Yoongi hummed out, leaning back on his chair. 'But i can still see that this is important to you.' He murmured, looking at the paper on his desk for a moment.Yoongi then leaned forward, grabbing the pen next to the paper and writing down something on the paper. Jimin looked as Yoongi continued his contract and the terms that he wrote and read out loud before.'I agree to the term that you get to go alone, and that there will be no guards following you.' Yoongi spoke as he proceeded to sign the paper, sliding it towards Jimin. 'But that won't mean that i'll allow you to go all alone. You won't be able to see the person who will be making sure you're safe, and you will never know who they are.'Jimin stared at the paper for a moment, looking up at his brother. 'The only reason why i'm telling you this instead of lying and telling you that you'll go alone is because i couldn't do that. I want you to know that i am not babying you around, but just making sure that you'll come back home alive.'Jimin stayed quiet for a moment, before letting his lips break into a slight smile. He reached for the pen and began signing the paper. 'I hate it when you act so nice around me. It's weird.' He murmured, finishing with his sign.Yoongi let out a tired laugh. 'I'm not acting, and you better get used to it.' He murmured. 'There will be many more happy moments from now on, so you'll need to get used to seeing me be weird around you.'Jimin smiled, finding Yoongi's happy expression funny to look at. The other smiled quite often, when needed to let others know that he was alright. But it was only rarely than he would break into a really big smile, when his teeth would show and his lips would stretch into the shape of a box. Jimin found moments like these something to cherish. You never knew when you would be able to feel happy again.But just like Yoongi said, Jimin wished that there would be many more happy times waiting for them. He couldn't wait to get there. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Namjoon moved his hands inside his pockets, hoping to make them warmer somehow. The cold wind during the hours when the sun couldn't yet reach the icy ground was the worst. The winter that was almost over was still trying to fight back, pouring all it's strength on making the nights cold. This night felt more cold than the others, as Namjoon walked alone on the dark forest road.His bare feet were protected by a spell, and so were his fingers, but that was all that the witch could manage to do at this point. Namjoon sighed, feeling his hidden wand pressed up against his waist, where it was tied around his rope belt.The human clothes that he wore were not made to last in the wild. The prisoner clothes that he wore since being captured were meant to be worn only inside, as the material couldn't handle any cold or wind. Namjoon cursed under his breath as another gust of wind blew past him, making him shiver.It had been only a few days since he escaped from the castle. Getting out was not easy, as the whole place was filled with guards of the castle and the humans outside. All of them wanted him dead if he were to be seen by them. But somehow he managed to get out of the castle without coming face to face with anyone. He had managed to get away from the prince who came and freed him by making a small spell on him to make sure that he would not follow him. The spell only lasted for a few minutes, causing nausea and dizziness, but it was just enough for the Prince to stay back and give Namjoon the chance to escape.Namjoon was still quite confused about the whole thing that happened back in the castle.Why did the Prince come and free him? He could have just left him there and ordered guards to make sure that he stayed in his cell while the fight outside was happening. Perhaps he couldn't do so as the Prince was also put behind cell doors at one point and he was also running away from the guards. But still, Namjoon couldn't understand why the other came and freed him.Namjoon also couldn't understand why the Prince thought that he would help him. When the Prince came and freed him from the ropes, he was speaking about his hopes of working together to protect the castle. Like Namjoon would do such a thing after all that happened.Namjoon had no thoughts of helping the humans. He wanted nothing to do with them. He wanted to stay away from them and let them know that he hated their kind for a reason. He wanted the Prince to know that he was dangerous and could hurt him.But the other wasn't scared.The foolish Prince gave him his wand and let him have the power of using magic again. The Prince did a dangerous thing, as he stood in front of him while handing him his wand. Yet he wasn't scared one bit.Namjoon remembers what the Prince said; 'But i am not afraid, but fascinated.' The words that the human said stuck around with Namjoon for a long time. They felt unsettling.The encounter with the Prince back there in the castle was something that he had never experienced before. The human did not fear him one bit.Namjoon has killed and seen the death of humans. They were cowards who lied and acted like they weren't guilty, when they actually were. Humans were liars and actors, who prayed for forgiveness and for mercy. But they deserved none of it.The Prince was different. He did not break under his gaze, crying and yelling for help and forgiveness. Instead he stayed quiet, as he had proceeded to choke him against the wall of the cell. The human stayed still, watching at him as he tried to drain the life out off him. He just stayed there, watching and observing. Namjoon couldn't handle it.Perhaps the Prince had just gone crazy, speaking of him like some god. The Prince voiced out his thoughts of him being something special and something that he had read about for years like some story character. The human admired him, even when he was about to kill him.Yes, he must be mad, that was the only explanation. For now Namjoon tried to forget all about it. He did not want to think about the human as he did not deserve it. He just needed to focus on the important things right now.Namjoon blew out some hot air from his mouth against his cold fingers, looking at the small hut in front of him. He could see how his wand began to glow in his pocket, the light shining through the thin fabric.'Yes yes.' Namjoon murmured. 'We are home.' Namjoon walked through the frozen ground, towards the hut and past the sign that was hanging from a nearby tree.'Do not cross, black magic nearby.''Well would you look at that!' A old cheery voice yelled as soon as Namjoon opened the door, cold wind following him inside the warm hut. Namjoon brushed off the few snowflakes that were decorating his shoulders, looking up to see the old lady who spoke before.'I thought that they got you for good this time.' The old lady spoke, smiling with a few missing teeth as she wobbled over to Namjoon, her many necklaces and big earrings making chattering noises as she moved.Namjoon let out a small laugh. 'Nanna, you know that i'll always come back no matter what.' He murmured right before the lady pulled him in for a hug.'You say that every time, but each time i always still worry.' She murmured, eyes wrinkling as she smiled. Namjoon smiled back, forgetting all the negative things that he thought about just a moment ago.'You look skinnier.' She then spoke, slapping a hand against Namjoon's stomach. The movement almost caused him to run out of air, but it just made him gasp out and cough. His Nanna just laughed and patted his skinny stomach more carefully now. 'You didn't manage to eat at all during your little adventure?'Namjoon smirked as his Nanna began wobbling over to the small stove next to her chair. 'No, i didn't.'The old witch just hummed and took out a pot from underneath the stove. 'Care to tell me where your adventures took you this time?' She asked, taking the pot over to a big can of water and filling it with it, bringing it back to the stove.She threw a few blocks of wood inside the old stove, taking out her old wand and creating a fire with a quick spell. Soon the flames began to dance inside the small stove, making the water boil inside the pot.'It's a long story.' Namjoon murmured, sitting on the edge of his Nanna's bed and throwing a blanket over his shoulders to help make him warm.'I have all the time in the world to listen.' She smiled, taking a seat next to him with a grunt.Namjoon hummed, looking at the boiling water inside the pot. 'Remember how you always warned me not to go near the areas of the forest where the humans hunted for wolves?' Namjoon then asked, already seeing the look of disbelieve on the face of his Nanna. 'Yeah, i did the opposite of that.' He then said, making the old witch let out a tired laugh.'Well, at least you came back alive.' She laughed. 'But i'm sure that you learned a lesson.' She added, slapping a hand against Namjoon's back. 'Never underestimate the humans and what they are capable of doing.' Namjoon stayed quiet for a moment. 'They are weak. Us creatures are much stronger and can beat them.'His Nanna stayed quiet for a moment, looking at him in the dimly lit room. 'The humans hold great power in their hands, even though not magic. The knowledge that they have and share is strong when it comes to fighting against us witches. And they have one weapon that is greater than anything that us witches have.'Namjoon looked at her, confused. 'What is that weapon?'She smiled, getting up from her seat. She took a jar from a shelf and opened it, sprinkling the content inside the boiling water as she hummed. 'I have a feeling that you'll learn about that very soon.'Namjoon blinked, not understanding what she meant by her words. But perhaps he wasn't supposed to understand it. His Nanna had a way with words, also knowing the future and past. She was a wise witch, who knew almost everything about everyone that she met. Namjoon's father got his great magic from her, helping him become the great witch doctor that they all knew. He was truly missed in the witch community.Though the most known witch at the moment, Namjoon still knew that he had a lot to learn from others so he could become even slightly similar to his father. He was the great witch doctor who everyone looked up to and wished to be. Namjoon was no exception. He grew up next to his father and his Nanna, learning all the magic that he could from them. The two of them formed him into the man that he is today, his father giving him the strength to fight for what he believed in. And he believed that the humans were the cause of everything that was wrong in Solaria.His mother, his beautiful mother, was slaughtered by the monsters who came into their home because of the law set by the horrible King.Namjoon remembers it all. He was young and inexperienced with magic, so he could not protect her when the attack happened.His father blamed himself for not being there to protect them, but Namjoon never blamed his father. He blamed himself for not being able to do anything.The humans came and stole the most important thing to him. They took the life of his mother right in front of his eyes, spilling her blood underneath his feet. The scene was something that was burned into his mind forever. And Namjoon could never forgive the humans who caused it.Namjoon was driven by anger and revenge as he learned the ways of magic from his father. He taught him everything, wanting his son to be able to take care of himself. His Nanna watched from a far, not wanting to have anything to do with it for a while.Namjoon never understood why his Nanna wouldn't teach him her spells, as she taught his reasons behind wanting to learn was wrong. How could it be wrong to want revenge for what the humans did? Namjoon never grew to understand that.His Nanna did eventually teach him something about magic, but never the great spells that he knew she could do. Her reason behind it was always that he was not ready in her mind.Namjoon couldn't understand what she meant by that. He was old enough to learn by now. He was strong enough to do the spells, and he was ready to use them. But she always said no. He was not ready to learn the powerful spells that his father had learned before from her.Namjoon was angry for years, escaping his home and his Nanna due to his anger. He wanted to prove her that he was strong enough and capable of handling the strong spells. He fought, killed and brought her animals and humans to show his strength, but it was never good enough. She just repeated herself, saying that he was not ready yet.Perhaps Namjoon would never be enough for her. Maybe he could never be as great as his own father, and he would never get to learn the ways of magic that his Nanna knew. But he would not give up just yet.Some day Namjoon would prove himself worthy, and learn the ways of his father. Yoongi knew something was odd since he woke up that morning.Unlike usual, he actually slept good through the whole night and woke up feeling satisfied. This was rare since he hadn't felt like this in ages due to his new busy schedule. So it was only natural that he felt odd through the whole morning. It felt like it was the calm before the storm.Yoongi enjoyed his breakfast, while reading the note from his advisers that told everything that had happened in Solaria during the last few days that should matter to him. It were the regular things; guards being hired, some other royal had gotten married in their own Kingdom, crops were being planted for the spring... The regular stuff that a King should know about their Kingdom.The name King still felt odd to him. Though he was still days away from his coronation, Yoongi was already being called the King by his subjects as everyone knew he would be the next King. He still hadn't gotten used to the name, finding it new and unfitting.But he should be able to get used to it, as that was going to be the name most would call him by after the coronation. That still didn't change the fact that it felt odd and out of place. Yoongi still found himself being confused when people called him as their King, him not recognizing the name as something that had something to do with him. He needed a lot of time before he could get used to it.There were a lot of things that he needed to get used to know.Yoongi no longer had privacy or very little of it. He was being guarded at all times because him being safe was very important right now. Though the fight with the people of Solaria was over, the citizens had not yet given up on the idea of getting Yoongi off of the throne, even before he was crowned as the King.Many small attacks have been made against the castle, targeted towards Yoongi. The hard feelings that the citizens had from the previous fight behind the castle doors was something that the people could not just let go that easily. They wanted revenge and they wanted to take control of things. They saw that Yoongi was not the perfect King for them, and wanted to change things for their own good. Though not realizing that Yoongi's coronation would be a good thing in the future. Perhaps they could see it someday, or perhaps they would always want him to step down from the throne.But Yoongi would not give up so easily. He was now set on becoming the King and working hard to make Solaria the great Kingdom that it once was. He just wished that he would not repeat the mistakes that his father and grandfather made during their times as the King. * Feeling so odd when he woke up, Yoongi was on his toes during the whole morning, waiting for the bad news to come in running at him. He had a feeling that something was not as it was supposed to be, and he would need to deal with it later. But the news never came, and it was making Yoongi feel anxious.He remembers walking back from a meeting with his advisers, trying to think about all the possible bad things that could happen today, wondering how he could get through them without getting a headache. But no new news ever came his way.Yoongi knew something was up and he wasn't being told about it. Something was being hidden from him, because he would not agree with it in the end. Yoongi had a bad feeling growing in his stomach as he and his guards began moving towards his destination, towards Jungkook's office.* 'He left?'Yoongi was dumbfounded, having just ordered his guards to exit the room as he was getting ready to yell at his cousin for what he had just told him. Jungkook sat in his chair, his legs lifted up onto his desk.'I don't know what else to tell you.' He murmured, setting down the papers that he had been reading before his cousin ran into his office and began raging. But Yoongi had a very good reason, having just heard that his brother had ran out of the castle without his permission.Yoongi sighed, looking anywhere else but at Jungkook, not wanting to look at him and getting more angry. 'We had a deal, god dammit.' He cursed, feeling frustrated that Jimin would just ignore their agreement like that. He should have known not to trust his little brother like that, knowing that Jimin liked to do things with his own way.Jungkook hummed, removing his legs from his office desk, placing them back onto the floor. 'He came in a few hours ago, telling me he was leaving.' Jungkook then began speaking, Yoongi turning to look at him again.'He told me about the agreement that you two made, and he said he felt really bad that he needed to break it.' Jungkook spoke, reaching down to his side desk and opening a drawer. There he grabbed a letter that was sealed with a royal stamp, handing it to Yoongi.'He didn't really tell me a reason why he needed to leave like this, but he just told me that it was very important. 'Jungkook spoke. 'He trusted me enough to tell me about this and to leave me with this letter, and i couldn't tell on him after that. I trusted that he knew what he was doing and that i wouldn't need to regret this later.'Yoongi said nothing as he took the letter, looking at it in his hands. He should have known Jimin would do something like this. The other was crazy enough to break their agreement and do as he wanted. Yoongi was in a way happy that he could do as he wished, but also worried as he couldn't help but over think what could happen to the other.His royal background was known everywhere, people recognizing him as the Prince. People could use him because of that and cause harm to him. Yoongi just wanted him to be safe and didn't want to risk anything. Now that Jimin left without telling him, the chances of him getting into trouble would be way more big.Jungkook coughed, clearing his throat. 'Now, i know that i wasn't supposed to get into this in any way after Jimin told me about the situation, but i couldn't help myself.' Jungkook murmured, scratching the back of his neck with a yawn. 'As soon as he stepped out of that door and had told me about your agreement, i contacted the spies that worked for the castle and paid one of them to follow him. Just like you had planned to do in the first place.'Yoongi looked at the other for a moment before breaking into a smile. 'See, i knew you weren't such an idiot like i thought you were.''Such lovely words from my King.' Jungkook sighed, smiling as Yoongi reached over the table and pulled him into a hug. 'Though i am only a cousin to you two, i have always felt that you two were like my brothers.' Jungkook spoke as the two of them pulled away. 'I love and care about Jimin just as much as you do. And i feel the same about you as well, though it may not sometimes seem like it.'Yoongi nodded his head, and Jungkook understood. Yoongi may never say it out loud, but he loves the other like a brother as well. Jungkook may be a cousin, but he has been there for him just as much as Jimin has. They have gone through a lot together and know everything about each other.Yoongi and Jimin know of Jungkook's and Taehyung's relationship, and support it. They have been together through deaths and celebration and they will be there for each other for many more to come. Yoongi will always know that he has two amazing people who he can go to when feeling down, and who he can also call family.Yoongi will never say this out loud, as he is too keen on bullying Jungkook and making fun of him whenever he gets the chance, but the other understands that it is just because he likes the other so much. Jungkook feels the same, and annoys his cousin just as much whenever he is around the soon to be King. It is a odd relationship that they two of them have, but it works.'I know that.' Yoongi finally said, tucking the letter into his shirt pocket. 'And the feeling is mutual.' He smiled as Jungkook rolled his eyes. This was the closest that Jungkook would ever get to a confession from Yoongi, as the other was so quiet about sharing his feelings about others. But that was okay, as Jungkook knew what the other meant with his words, even though he was bad at saying them.Jungkook smiled, his attention turning towards something else for a moment as he went quiet. 'Jimin will do great, i am sure of it.' He then finally spoke. 'He needs this time to find himself and learn about the world before being tied inside the castle like all of us. He needs this time to live a little and be free.'Jungkook was correct. Jimin too deserved the chance to adventure out and see Solaria for himself and not just read about it from his books. He has never seen the country side or visited a market. He has never eaten at a pub or spoken with a bunch of different citizens. Those were all things that you couldn't recreate inside the castle, but needed to go out and see it for yourself. Yoongi had seen those things when he was younger, as he visited the country side during his horse ride practices or during the camp trips that his teacher made them do so that they would learn about Solaria more. Those were all very useful things that he got to do, but Jimin couldn't.Yoongi and Jimin were both raised as Prince's of Solaria. They were both treated as royals and got pretty much the same treatment from everyone. But there were some big differences.¨Yoongi was raised as the future King, as Jimin was raised as the forever Prince who could never reach the throne.Due to being the second born, Jimin could only become King if Yoongi were to pass away or never have any children. Due to the society that they lived in, everyone assumed that neither of those things would never happen, causing Jimin to never become the King after Yoongi.So while Yoongi got the proper treatment of a future King, learning about everything important like fighting, riding a horse and learning new languages- Jimin was stuck inside the castle, being treated as the back up plan that would never be used.Jimin stayed in his room a lot, reading about the things that brought him some joy in his boring life. He read about ancient magic and about the creatures. He found the abandoned group of creatures fascinating, and read about them for years and years.This was looked down upon, as no one at the time liked to even hear about the creatures let alone be educated of them like Jimin was being.Yoongi remembered growing up not knowing much of the creatures. He knew what they were and what they could do, but he was always just told to hate them. No matter what you should always hate the creatures. And he did for a long time do exactly that.Yoongi hated the creatures and magic because he was taught to do so. He didn't know why he hated them so much, but he just did. He didn't know any other way to feel about them as he was taught this one feeling towards them.Yoongi doesn't remember the day when he decided to hate the creatures, but he remembers the day when Jimin sat him down and opened his big book in their then shared bed room.Yoongi and Jimin spent hours that day and night, looking through the thick book and reading about the creatures together. Yoongi would ask questions and Jimin would answer them the best that he knew, educating his brother on the subject.Yoongi remembers experiencing the moment when he realized that perhaps creatures weren't all that bad. Jimin taught him a lot, and he will continue to do. He and Jungkook both knew that Jimin was a smart man who knew what he was doing.Yoongi still had his worries about this all, but he tried not to show it too much. He needed to give Jimin the space to grown and learn, and to figure himself out a bit more.When Yoongi left Jungkook's office that morning, he was sure that the slightly heavy letter in his pocket would help him calm his heart a bit. * Jin didn't really know what he should expect. He thought that perhaps he and Hoseok would receive better treatment from the humans in the castle now, by getting daily meals and having the ability to clean themselves. But Jin didn't expect all this.'The King insisted that you would receive his offering, as an attempt to bring you all closer to forgiveness.' The old man spoke, his tiny glasses almost falling from his nose as he spoke with his chin held high. He was giving Jin a mean look every now and then, eyeing the fairy when he thought Jin wasn't looking. But Jin couldn't care less right now, as he was too mesmerized by the view in front of him. Jin had just been taken to another part of the castle, the guards telling him that his location needed to be changed due to the King's wishes. He was told that Hoseok also received the same 'upgrade'- as the guards spoke of it.Jin didn't really understand why this was all happening, and wanted to speak up, but he couldn't really complain after seeing his new cell. Jin wasn't even sure if he could even call it a cell anymore.He no longer had a room, but a whole small apartment. There was a living room area, a separate small kitchen and even a tiny library. To the side was a big door that lead to the bedroom that was way too big for one fairy, as well as the over sized bathroom that could fit a whole family inside of it. Jin just thought it was silly, to be living in such a big space. He was used to living in small spaces, having lived in a small forest hut with his whole family for most of his life. He wondered what life would be like if they were here with him. So even though the apartment was amazing, it was too silly as it was too huge to live comfortably in. The thing that made Jin go quiet and lose all his negative thoughts was the big decorative glass door leading outside to a small garden.Jin blinked, taking a step forward. 'Can- can i go outside?' He found himself asking, not ever realizing that he had opened his mouth to speak.The man coughed, making Jin turn to him. 'The King said that the garden is all yours to use.' He murmured. 'This is all because he trusts you and thinks that you deserve this kind of treatment.' And you do not- is what Jin would have wanted to say. It was clear that the man didn't find this all enjoyable at all. Perhaps he was a royal adviser, by the looks of his clothes. He didn't like bringing Jin here and would have probably preferred if he stayed in his small jail room. But his suggestion hadn't been taken into consideration by the looks of it, so he was salty.Jin turned back and looked at the garden through the window. The garden looked so tempting and Jin just wanted to dart through the door as quickly as possible. He wanted to let his bare feet feel the ground and the tiny tufts of grass that were beginning to grow during the days when the sun would make it down to the ground. Jin wanted to touch the big oak tree that was growing in the middle of the garden. He wished to speak with the wise old tree and ask it for help in his current situation.This was all made possible thanks to Yoongi.Jin looked at his own reflection from the window, seeing his tired and beat self look back at himself. The bruise on his lip was still there, the cut beginning to disappear from his once swollen bottom lip. He still has sore spots in his back from when the guards pushed him down and stepped on him over and over again. Jin looked back at the garden.He was confused.A human hurt him. A human did this for him.Everyone had some evil and some good in them. Jin truly wanted to believe that everyone deserved forgiveness and another chance. Humans just were making it so hard to believe such way about them sometimes. He was usually torn between wanting to forgive and wanting to stay hateful. Both were making him go crazy, as staying hateful wasn't healthy for him but forgiving felt so wrong at times.But Jin needed to realize some things. All humans were not bad. All fairies were not good, and neither were others. There were no two creatures or humans alike, and they would make different decisions. Jin too had the chance to make a decision, and he wished that he did the right one. He chose to forgive.Jin swallowed and reached for the door leading outside. 'Tell Yoongi that i am grateful for his gift.' Jin murmured, closing the door behind him. He walked along the rocky path across the garden and could hear the commotion going on inside. The adviser could be heard speaking in a shocked voice, not enjoying that he mentioned the King by his name. Yoongi wasn't his King, so Jin didn't feel the need to call him by that name. Jin ignored the humans inside his new cell and walked through the small garden. His feet were sore, still sensitive from the beating that they took when he was forced to walk a long way when he was first captivated. He was offered a pair of shoes from the guards when he received new clothes inside the castle, but he didn't accept them, as they felt uncomfortable. Jin walked carefully, taking support from the tree once he got to it. Jin looked up to the branches that still didn't have any leaves on them. The tree looked sad and alone in the small garden.Jin let his hand move across the old bark, feeling the texture and the indents that had grown over the years. He felt something alive and beat inside that tree.Jin sat down onto the cold ground and let his hand stay on the tree, closing his eyes as he began to let his magic flow through the old tree, feeling the roots that ran all over the garden yard.Fairies specialized in healing magic, that they learned from wildlife. Trees, flowers and other plants had more to tell that a human eye could see. They never really spoke back, but you could see through the trees eyes and learn from what they had seen over the years.Many fairies told their strongest spells and magic to trees, to let them keep them as secrets until another fairy would come around who was strong enough to learn the magic told to the tree. Forests were like huge libraries to fairies. You could also see your surroundings with the help of trees as their roots traveled far, giving you a good picture of where you were. Trees also remember everything.Jin let his nails scrape across the bark, as he traveled deeper into the memory of the tree.The old tree had seen it all. The way how the castle had grown around it over the years, and how different people came and left the earth. The tree had seen many faces over the years, some similar to Jin's own.The tree knew all of the King's and Queen's who had lived in the castle and visited it's garden, sitting underneath it's shade during the summer. The tree had heard many stories told by the humans and seen the way how humans acted. There had been confessions made underneath the trees branches, as well as heartbreaks. Jin frowned as he opened his eyes. He looked around himself and saw the tall walls surrounding himself and the garden. 'You're all alone in here.' He murmured, seeing no other tree anywhere near himself.'You must be lonely.' Jin whispered as he let his hand fall from the tree and into his own lap.Jin felt stupid as he let his mind wonder of somewhere dark, making him feel sad and sappy. But he couldn't help himself, as he felt like perhaps it was the right moment to feel sorry for himself for once.This tree reminded him of himself. It stood tall and proud, but alone and abandoned.It had seen the death of it's own kind around it, leaving the tree to stand alone in an unknown place. Jin couldn't help but see the resemblance. He was looking at a mirror image of himself.Jin got up to stand on his feet with the help of the tree standing next to him. He made a turn to go back inside his new room when he was stopped by the person standing at the doorway.Jin looked surprised for a moment as he saw the King, Yoongi stand right there in front of him.'I hope i'm not interrupting anything.' The other spoke as he stepped inside the garden, his guards staying on the other side of the door. Yoongi took a few steps forward, looking at the tree that Jin had just sat next to.'This is a very old oak tree.' Yoongi spoke as he walked with his hands behind his back. Jin studied him, seeing the dark circles underneath his eyes and the sunken in cheeks. The other had been working hard for the past few weeks, and Jin could understand why he and Hoseok hadn't gotten the chance yet to speak with him properly about the future changes that could help their kind. Yoongi was busy, taking care of everything after the passing of his father.'Before the castle had some reconstructive work done around it, this garden was much more bigger compared to now.' Yoongi spoke. 'Back then Jimin and i used to spend time around here a lot when we had the chance between endless classes and studies.'Jin hummed as he listened. He enjoyed listening to the other speak, learning more about the mysterious past behind the royals. Jin knew as much as everyone else, but nothing on a personal level.Yoongi was mysterious, with his seemingly cold personality that would change in a second once he was away from his guards. He spoke of his brother like his biggest treasure and he treated Jin like a person instead of something disgusting. Jin had never met a human like him, who also happened to be the King.'Is there a reason for you visiting me?' Jin then asked, finding the fact that the other showed up surprising and odd as he couldn't understand why the other would take his precious time to come and see him. Yoongi's lips formed into the slightest smile. 'Ah, yes. You must feel odd seeing me come here like this without warning.' He spoke. 'I suppose it was because of a few reasons. One of them being that i wanted to hear your opinion on this new side of the castle. I can see that this is a huge improvement from your previous cell, but i could still order my servants to go and find a better place for you to st-''This is just fine.' Jin assured the other, interrupting his babbling that seemed to go on and on, almost as if he was nervous. But that couldn't be true, as the King had no reason to feel nervous around someone like him. 'Even this seems a bit too much, to be honest with you.' Jin murmured, looking towards the inside of the apartment, seeing all the guards wait for Yoongi inside it.Yoongi smiled. 'I suppose it might seem a bit too much at times.' He murmured. 'But this was one of the only spots available that had a garden attached to it, so i couldn't help myself.'Jin nodded his head, looking around himself. The garden was tiny and looked quite lifeless at the moment due to the cold weather. But Jin saw the potential in it. He could feel the roots and sprouts underneath the ground that would push themselves up towards the sun once it would shine brightly enough to make the grass grow. The tree would grow leaves and protect the flowers with it's shade from the heavy rains. It would look fantastic once summer would kick in.Jin just wasn't sure if he would be there to see it all happen.Though Jin would have loved to stay like this and chitchat away with Yoongi, he knew the other was busy and came because of a reason. Though the other tried to look calm and normal around him, Jin could sense something was up. 'What was the other reason why you decided to visit me?' Jin then asked, looking at the guards and the adviser inside the castle who he could see through the window. They looked restless and out of place. They didn't want the King to stand next to someone like him without protection.Yoongi understood the sudden change in subject. Jin didn't feel comfortable enough to talk about useless things. He wanted to get straight to the point and skip the rest.Yoongi cleared his throat. 'I have arranged a meeting for tomorrow afternoon.' He spoke, walking around the old tree with his hands behind his back. 'A few advisers and others will join us, but i hope that the most important people- you and Hoseok- will join us as well. The meeting will focus on the new laws about your people.'Jin was surprised. He wouldn't have expected Yoongi to make the meeting happen so soon. He was sure that his stay inside the castle would have been much more longer, as he knew how busy things were inside the castle at the moment. But this was a positive surprise. This brought him one step closer to being let free and starting things all over again.He nodded his head. 'I will attend, and i am sure Hoseok will as well.' 'I hope so.' Yoongi said, smiling again. 'This will be a big step towards equality in Solaria. And i cannot wait to see things get started.'Jin too wanted to feel hopeful and positive about the situation, but it seemed hard at times. Jin knew that you couldn't change peoples minds in a day, week or even years. It would take decades before his kind would be treated better, and even then there would be some who hated on his kind and the other creatures. There could never be a perfect country that had only happy people in it. Humans and creatures were all different. They all had different emotions and feelings, each having their own opinion on things. But Jin wanted to believe. 'I hope so as well.' He then sighed.Yoongi could sense his emotions of feeling unsure. He knew that the fairy had been through so much that he was just setting himself up for another failure. He didn't want to bring his hopes up on this situation and feel disappointed in the end once again. That was something that Yoongi too could relate to.He could sugarcoat things and try to make the other seem more positive about this situation by lying, but he knew that wasn't right. Yoongi knew that Jin wouldn't fall into his play and pretend to seem hopeful about this all, when he too was unsure on how on earth he was going to make things better. Everything was a mess right now, from the broken castle to the laws that should be made and spread in a matter of weeks. He had his coronation to take care of as well as everything else that was happening inside the castle. Now that he thought about it, this was the first time in a few days that he got fresh air.He wanted to look strong and like he was doing okay, but he could not hide the bags underneath his eyes and the limp that he sported due to the injury he got in the fight. This was something that Jin could also notice.'You have been working hard.' Jin spoke, looking at the other who stood next to him. Yoongi had his hands behind his back, trying to look poised and proper in front of him. 'I truly do appreciate the things that you have done for me since being brought to the castle, and i hope you realize that even when i have a hard time saying it out loud.'Yoongi nodded his head, understanding what the fairy meant with his words. 'I do understand it. It is difficult to accept all of this after what had happened before.' Yoongi spoke, targeting his words towards the new apartment and everything else that Jin was given. It was odd to receive all of these things from the humans who he did not trust completely yet.Jin also felt like he did not deserve any of these things. He did nothing useful to the humans, as he failed at healing the King and he didn't work together with them right from the start. He felt, odd, having all of these things now.Yoongi could sense the change in the fairy, almost knowing what he was thinking about.'Jin.' He began, calling him by his name- which felt new to Jin as he hadn't heard someone say his name out loud in a long time. 'I believe i never told you how much i appreciate what happened that night.' He spoke, targeting his words towards the night of the fight when he tried to heal the King. 'How you changed your mind and tried to save him.'Jin shook his head. 'I failed.'Yoongi stayed quiet for a moment. 'No. He was the one who failed, and let himself fall into that state. You were the one who found it in yourself to try and change his inevitable end, though it was impossible.'Jin stayed quiet, listening to Yoongi speak. He wasn't too sure if he could believe his words. Even though he didn't need to, Jin felt guilty over what was happening. It was because he couldn't save the King that Yoongi now needed to take responsibility. And he could see what was happening to the other because of that responsibility. Jin blinked a few times, looking down at the ground. 'I feel like i should have tried harder. Did something sooner.' Yoongi then placed a hand on his shoulder.'If Jungkook, the nurses and doctors couldn't do anything before and you couldn't do then, then nothing could have been done a few days earlier either.' He assured the other. 'What you did was not useless, as it showed me that you are capable of forgiving and starting over. You want a change in this world and so do i.' 'But that change won't happen in a day or a week.' Yoongi murmured squeezing his hand. 'Perhaps not even in a year.'Jin nodded his head, looking up at the other. 'I don't have anywhere else to go, and you know that. I have all the time in the world.'Yoongi smiled slightly, letting his hand fall from the fairy's shoulder. 'That makes two of us.' * Jimin was feeling excited as he rode his horse through the gates of the castle. His small bag was strapped on his back, holding his most necessary possessions for this trip. He only took a few things, as he hoped to survive only on hunting and the wilderness. With him he carried a few weapons, some spare clothes, other small necessaries and his most important possession- his books. Through them he could learn about everything that he needed. He didn't need to stop and ask for help or go near any humans, as the fear of them recognizing him was very real. Though he wanted to go out and near the human villages and towns, he still remembers the fight behind the castle walls that happened not too long ago. The reason behind that fight was the creatures inside the castle, but also the news that got loose of him being a traitor. The villagers did not approve of him anymore and wanted him out of the royal castle. Jimin could only imagine what would happen if he were to be caught by said humans.So he rode through abandoned roads, trying to avoid any contact from the villagers who might be holding a grudge against him. He chose the darkest and oldest ways around the forest, knowing that there should be no one there waiting for a trespasser.Jimin enjoyed his horse rise through the dimly lit forest. He liked the cool breeze that would blow against his skin as he rode with his horse. His hood would fly off of his head, letting some drops of water hit his face in a way that tickled slightly. Jimin felt free, as he ordered his steed to run faster. He stopped when he reached a small river bend. He let his horse drink the clear water and roam free for a moment as he cleaned his face that had been hit with a few branches and leaves in the forest. The water was cool, with a few slabs of ice still floating in the river due to the cold nights. But you could already see some life in the water, as small fishes began to swim around the swallow waters.Jimin smiled as he poked a finger into the water, scaring the small fish to swim elsewhere. He filled up his bottles and placed them back into his bag for later. Though the river bend was a lovely area to stay in, Jimin knew it would be swarmed by the villagers once morning would come. Jimin could already spot a few camping spots and strings hung on the trees meant for laundry. This spot was something where he could not stay at for too long, as others would show up. It would be too dangerous to show his face around these areas.So Jimin collected his things and left the spot.He needed to find a proper spot where he could rest and make camp for the night. He wouldn't do a lot of sleeping the next night, but he needed to give his horse a rest and to stop so he could read the map properly. Sure, sleeping would also be good for him but he was too excited to even close his eyes. He wanted to use all the time that he had left usefully, and sleeping sounded way too boring. He rode through the woods for a few more hours, venturing deeper into the dark forest that wasn't full of people. He wanted to find someplace calm and quiet, and he was lucky to find a calm looking place right before the sun would set completely.In the dark forest, protected by the long and old trees growing all around the place, Jimin found a seemingly very old camping spot that hadn't been used in possibly years. The burned stones around the camp fire looked very old and worn out, and there were some moss growing on them, meaning that they hadn't been used to guard a fire in a long time. The area was also surrounded by many big stones, creating a safe spot from any strong wind that might blow through the forest. Jimin tied his horse on a nearby tree and gave him some water to drink. Then he began unpacking his things and creating a shelter to stay the night in. He set up a quick but helpful shelter for himself, using some rope and a big cloth he took from the castle. It was probably used as a curtain in the big diner room, but now served a much more useful job.He brought his things inside the small self made tent and set them aside for now. He then focused on creating the fire.Jimin had never been camping before. He had never left the castle without anyone guarding him either. This was a whole new experience and he felt like that perhaps he should be feeling slightly worried. But he wasn't. He was too proud of himself for dong this all, running away from the castle.Sure it was dangerous and quite stupid to do so, as he could be in horrible danger. But this was exactly what he wanted. To be alone and to learn new things about the Kingdom he was living in. He wanted to see the nature, the animals and the people. He wanted to have time for himself and not worry about servants and guards breathing on his neck all the time. He wanted to live as Jimin for a few days. Not as the Prince that everyone had to call him by. He wanted to push that name aside for a while, even if it was only for a few days.Jimin knew that his place was back in the castle, as it was his home and his family was there. But he had been slowly going crazy behind those hard rock walls of the castle, seeing them all the time. He wanted to go outside and let loose for a while, forgetting about the posh words that he had been taught to speak with since he was a child. He didn't want to see a maid or a servant for a few days, wanting to take care of himself for a change.So Jimin enjoyed his free days, sitting calmly in front of the warm camp fire that he lit, reading his books that he brought with him.The fairy back in the castle interested him, so he chose to read on his kind. Fairies weren't common around their lands, so it was a big surprise that they were able to find one in the auction. His golden wings made him even more extraordinary as it was the rarest color. See through and brown wings were the most common, with a few reddish shades seen here and there as well.Reading about fairies was interesting, but there was always something else that Jimin would go to once he found himself bored or alone. The book of witches magic.Witches were born with purple eyes, making them look different from humans. Witches all came from the same place, starting from Unu, who was once a human like him.Unu was a human, who prayed to the devil and the spirits who he believed were his ancestors. He wished for powers strong enough to make him able protect his family. He prayed and prayed, wished for something great to happen to him so he could protect the ones close to him.But nothing happened. Unu then became impatient with his Gods and decided to take the situation in his own hands. Unu created a potion, that has never been written down or passed to someone. The potion was a mystery, just like the whole story behind how witches became to be.Unu drank the potion that he told no one of how he created it. He died once he drank the dark liquid, but resurrected a day later. Unu became the first witch to walk on their earth, many others soon following him as his sons and daughters.Unu was a human, but he turned into the so called devil. Others weren't so supportive of him, seeing his harmful magic and new form. He was hunted and killed after years of trying to fight back.Unu lived as a witch for only a few years during his time many decades ago. But he created something much more than he could have ever imagined. A whole new race, who all followed his footsteps and shared the magic that he received from his Gods. Unu was someone who was mentioned a lot in Jimin's books, as they were written by witches. They thought of him as a god, as someone who started a revolution. Unu wanted to protect his own kind, and to fight off the humans ruining his life. Others thought the same.Jimin began to wonder, if the witch doctors son hates humans just as much as Unu did.He closed the book.Jimin first found a book about magic and creatures when he was young. It was after his mother had passed away and right after he had learned how to read. The book was about werewolves, with the cover of the book looking interesting and beautiful. It just pulled him in, wanting him to read it. And Jimin did read it, and many other books about magic. It got to the point where he had to order the servants to go and find new books as he read everything inside the small library already.As witch hunts were a common thing, and they were hated with a passion in the human community- it was slightly odd that the Prince had become so interested with the creatures. Jimin's father- the King- soon found out about his sons odd obsession through advisers and he was denied access into the library. Jimin was a young teen then, finding the situation unfair and annoying. He told that he hated his father and it wasn't completely untrue. His father hadn't been shaken by the comment however, because one night when Jimin tried to sneak into the library and made it past the guards- he came face to face with the library that had been completely removed of all his favorite books.Jimin remembers his young self back then, crumbling down to his knees as he looked at the empty shelves with tears in his eyes. Everything had to be taken away from him. He wasn't allowed to be happy anymore in this place he had to call home. But it didn't feel like a home, and it never did.Jimin remembers the anger that he felt for his father that night, realizing it had been him who had ordered the books to be removed from the library. That anger never truly left him, just soothed down over the years. Jimin wouldn't call it a grudge, but just a memory in his mind that would forever remind him of the fact that his father was a horrible man. Jimin remembers the first book he received after that dark incident. Yoongi had been on one of his trips into the town, hunting with the guards and learning to fight. Jimin was of course left inside the castle again, and he had been salty about it. And Yoongi had noticed that.He always thought that his little brothers obsession with the creatures and magic was slightly weird and a bit unhealthy, but he wanted to cheer the other one. So he stopped by a merchants place near one small village and purchased a book about magic from there.One night when he was just going to bed, there was a knock on Jimin's door. He opened it to find Yoongi stood on the other side, holding the book in his hands.There really wasn't much that was said, as both of them were bad with words and showing gratitude towards each other as they were still teens, but neither of them found it awkward or wrong when they shared a long hug in the dark hallway that night.Jimin understood without telling that his brother cared about him and wished that he would be happy. And Jimin felt the same about his brother. It was a sweet and cheesy moment, but it was perfect. Jimin felt happy again.Like always, he tucked the thick book underneath his pillow that night and let the fire die outside before closing his eyes inside the small tent he had built up for the night. * Jin stirred in his slumber, eyes shut tightly as small noises escaped his lips. A drop of sweat rolled down his temple, running into the covers underneath him. He woke with a gasp.His mouth was dry, but he managed to swallow down whatever lump was in his throat. Perhaps it was the anxiety trying to escape his chest, as it felt like his heart was about to explode.It was just a nightmare, he tried and assured himself. It had to be, because he couldn't find any other reason why he suddenly had woken up. He couldn't remember what he had been dreaming about, but it was something horrible enough to wake him up in such manner. Perhaps it was better that he did not remember the dream, so it was easier to forget all about this.But he could not fall asleep anymore. Instead he rolled around in the covers on the bed, trying to find a comfortable position but failing. He reached for the curtains covering his window and looked outside. It was still dark as black, meaning that it was nowhere close to being morning.Jin sighed as he pushed himself to sit up, stretching his legs in the air before letting them fall against the wooden floor. He moved his wings, letting them gather their strength to stand straight again. They looked quite lifeless right after his slumber, but would look much more lively after some blood would flow into them and make them glow once again.The thing about fairy wings were that they always looked the best when they decorated a healthy fairy. It was horrible when humans removed the wings from fairies, making them unable to fly and making the wings useless. They looked nothing like what they did when they were still on the fairy. They just turned into some ugly decoration on some humans dinner rooms wall. It was disgusting.Jin brushed away the ugly thoughts from his mind and forced himself to do something. He firstly walked into the bathroom, taking a glass full of water with him into the small living area. He sat down on the floor, instead of the fancy looking couch next to him. The material hurt his skin, like most of the human things did.Things like hay, bark and leaves left humans feeling agitated and irritated if they were to be in contact with the materials with a little too long, but to Jin they felt normal because that was what he had gotten used to. The wooden floor underneath his feet felt odd and wrong, as the once beautiful oak had been cut and turned into the floor that it was today. Jin couldn't communicate with this tree as it was dead. Dead and covered with some kind of a polish that suffocated the surface of the tree. It felt wrong to him to walk on it, but what was done could not be changed. Jin just had to hope that the tree had been found fallen down and that it wasn't cut down instead. The thought felt impossible, but it gave his stressed heart some hope.As he couldn't fall asleep again, not could he find anything useful to do inside the small apartment, Jin decided to go to the only place that reminded him of home right now. The small garden.It was cold outside, the wind blowing quite hard. Jin was wearing nothing but one layer of clothing, so he could feel the cold bite into his skin. But he brushed the feeling off and continued to walk through the garden until he was next to the familiar tree again.Jin took shelter from the wind next to the tree, sitting down next to it. A gust of wind blew past him harshly, making him close his eyes and hold onto the tree. Jin moved closer to the trunk of the tree, almost as if trying to get some warmth from the surface of it. But that wasn't possible and the cold bark of the tree didn't provide him with that. But it gave him something else;-'Jimin!' The concerned voice yelled after him, having seen the other just run outside into the rain. Jimin didn't react, bringing his legs closer to his chest by wrapping his arms around them. He hid his face behind his knees, hoping that the raindrops falling from the sky would hide his tears.'Jimin.' The familiar voice spoke again, now much more quiet. Jimin peeked as he saw Yoongi sigh quietly before taking a seat next to him.Jimin lifted his head, still not looking at his brother. 'Why did you come?' He spoke, voice raw and shivering. 'You could have just stayed inside. It's not you who they hate, but me.'Jimin was expecting sympathy and for Yoongi to try and cheer him up, but he did not expect the slight punch to his side. He looked at his brother in confusion for a moment.'Idiot.' The other spoke. 'They don't hate you. They just... Don't understand you.' Yoongi murmured, leaving his hand on Jimin's knee. 'And besides, if they hate you- then they hate me as well.' Jimin guessed that this was Yoongi attempting to try and cheer him up on his own way, but the other wasn't too good at it. He did however appreciate the fact that he came all the way out here after him.Jimin sighed. 'They do hate me. He, hates me.' Jimin whispered, afraid to speak of their father right after what happened. Though seemingly alone, the walls of the castle had ears.'He said he wished that i had been born a girl so i could have been given to another Kingdom. But because i am a boy i can't even do that.' Jimin spoke, and Yoongi stayed quiet- watching his brother speak with tears in his eyes. 'I am so useless, Yoongi.' He finished, then letting the gates open and weep behind his hands.Yoongi, who seemed to be in deep thoughts for a moment then reached out and took the other into his grasp. Jimin continued to let all the sadness out of his mind, while Yoongi did what he knew would help the other.Minutes would pass as Jimin stayed in Yoongi's arms, letting his older brother hug him until he could finally breathe properly through his sobs.'You know he is wrong.' Yoongi then spoke, his cheek pressed against Jimin's head. 'He has been wrong about many things before and he will be in the future. He doesn't get to decide whether you are useless or not. It is up to you to decide that and to make your own future.'There were times when Jimin felt so hopeless and so did Yoongi. When their mother passed away and they realized that they didn't have a father who cared for them or when the King made it his most important thing to make sure that Yoongi would be trained and Jimin would stay out of trouble. They were hard things when you were a teenager.Sometimes all that the two wanted to do was stay with their aunt, Jungkook and Taehyung for a few hours to have dinner, but they weren't allowed even that as they needed to focus all their time on studying and practice. The hours spent on horse riding lessons, different language studies, fighting and travelling was endless, and Jimin did all that even though he would get nothing for reward. It felt unfair, so he spoke out about it. And got this in return.He got called out for speaking up against his father, who decided to ground him again. This time the word had also gotten out that he had somehow gotten new books for himself that had already been taken away from him the moment he got back into his room after the conversation with his father. Every little thing that brought him joy needed to be taken away at some point, and it terrified him.'They keep pushing me down, hoping i won't get back up again.' Jimin tearfully whispered, breaking Yoongi's heart. 'And i don't know how long i can take it anymore. This isn't a home, Yoongi. It hasn't been since mommy left us.''I know.' Yoongi murmured, hoping to bring some hope into Jimin's broken mind. But it was difficult when he too couldn't seem to find the hope in this situation.Yoongi wanted to tell his brother that everything would be alright, and that Jimin would feel better soon and get treated better- but that wasn't for sure. He couldn't promise the other these things because they weren't for granted. He didn't want to be the cause of him being disappointed again. Jimin deserved better than that.'Things will change one day.' Yoongi then spoke, looking into the distance while the two of them leaned against the old oak tree. 'I can't say when, or promise for sure- but there will be a change some day. Hopefully towards the better.''Our father can be there to witness it or not, it doesn't matter.' Yoongi continued to speak, ignoring the way Jimin kept silently sniffling next to him. 'But a change will come someday that will change the way that things are.''Is that when you will take his place, on the throne?' Jimin asked, playing with a leaf that he had taken from the ground next to him and playing with it while calming himself.'Maybe, i can't say for sure.' Yoongi murmured. 'But i know that whoever will take that place, will make a difference and help Solaria and the people living there. Even people like us, who everyone else thinks is doing alright. But when even the people inside the castle are living in misery, how are the people outside feeling?''Things must be way worse...' Jimin spoke, thinking of what Yoongi said.Yoongi nodded his head. Things were not looking good right now. Not for him, not for Jimin. Solaria was in it's worst place yet and the thought of being the next one in charge of taking care of the place was horrifying to Yoongi.He was afraid to disappoint everyone who believed in him, his family being first on his mind.But he couldn't let himself worry about it too much. When the time would come, he would need to be ready to take his fathers spot on the throne. He needed to prepare himself physically and mentally. He couldn't let himself get scared. Jimin turned to look at his brother again, the tears already beginning to dry on his cheeks, though the rain was still pouring down on them hard. 'I trust you, Yoongi.' He said, simple as that. And suddenly Yoongi didn't feel so unsure anymore.'I trust you.'-Jin slowly opened his eyes and removed his hand from the bark of the oak tree. He stopped for a moment, confused.'Why did you show me this?' He then asked, feeling slightly foolish for asking the tree such a question, as it could not answer back. But there was a reason why the old tree decided to share this memory with him. The tree had seen many things, the vision that it shared with Jin being just one of many. But it had decided that this memory was important and should be shared with Jin. Why? He didn't really know for sure.Jin pouted, looking up at the branches of the tree. Perhaps the tree remembered what he had been feeling yesterday. How he felt alone and unsure of his new surroundings with the humans. He was skeptical about the humans and about working together with them, as he couldn't trust them completely. Yoongi showed up and tried to make things seem better, by telling him about the meeting that would take place today afternoon. And it did make him feel more assured about the situation, but it also brought in new emotions. Jin was unsure if he could trust the royals in such a situation. For all he knows, Yoongi and his advisers could be working together to create some kind of a plan to make sure that the new laws never come out. But if that was the case, then why would the other go all the way out like this and provide him and Hoseok with better rooms and things like clothes and proper food. Was it all just to get their trust before breaking the deal and throwing them out?Jin was clearly becoming paranoid with his thoughts. But he could't help himself. He had nothing else to do to kill time, leaving him alone with his running thoughts that kept on changing towards the worst.Jin wanted to trust these humans, but it was hard when your own mind kept on challenging you like this.Jin really needed this vision from the tree.He hadn't even realized how much he needed to see that before he did. He would have gone mad before the meeting, coming up with all kinds of horrible scenarios that could happen in that room full of humans. But now he could stop and take a breath.Yoongi wasn't a monster and neither was his brother.It was hard to believe this since the other had taken him in as a prisoner, held him captive and pointed a gun at him one too many times. It was hard to see him as someone who he could trust. But it was also hard to try and stay away from him.The Prince apologized to him- that no other human had ever done before. He opened up to him and shared stories about his past. He even trusted Jin enough to let him heal him once he had used harmful magic on him. Jin didn't need to feel sorry about that, but he had. He was being pulled apart. One side of him wanting to never trust these humans after they hurt him and his kind, and the other side wanting to forgive and move on. Jin wanted to see a difference in Solaria but he was afraid that the change would be for the worse.But thinking about it, things were already as bad as they could get for his kind. They were being hunted, killed and taken away from their homes. They were used, abused and used for humans pleasure. What else could come to them that could be more horrible? Jin couldn't think of any at the spot.So things had to be moving towards a more positive place? He wasn't sure of that either. But due to being in this state of feeling unsure all the time, Jin decided that it was about time that he would finally let someone else take control of the situation.Jin was slightly unsure about everything right now, but one thing was for sure;He could trust Yoongi. * The bright sun was shining straight onto Jimin, through the small opening of his self-made tent. He rolled onto his side, stretching his aching limbs for a moment and opening his eyes slightly to have a peek around. It was quiet, with birds chirping and his horse moving somewhere near his tent. It was calm.Jimin couldn't remember when he had woken up like this, without servants knocking on his door to hurry him to dress himself for something useless. Today he got to sleep until he couldn't sleep anymore. He felt well rested and energized for the first time in what seemed like years, even after sleeping on nothing but moss and a blanket. He could get used to this.Jimin wanted to just grab his book and read it for a moment, forgetting about his rumbling stomach for a moment but he knew he had to move soon. He needed to move to another spot so his horse could eat some hay and he needed to hunt something for food.He was feeling lazy, but he needed to get a move on before it was too late.Jimin began packing his things, strapping them to his horse and making sure he left nothing behind for any hunters who would want to follow him. Then he was back on the move, running through the woods with his horse.He traveled to the side of the forest, finding a river than ran next to the road he was riding through. The river came to a sudden end when it turned into a small waterfall, leading into big pond below. It looked like the perfect spot to stop and try to catch fish. Jimin could also wash up and let his horse drink.The road also came to an end, meaning that they needed to travel through the woods to get to the pond below. The way down was lumpy and difficult to ride through, so Jimin jumped off of his horse and moved by walking. His horse followed him, seeming a bit nervous to walk through the difficult path. Jimin expected him to feel more relaxed once they got to the pond, but the horse was still feeling a bit nervous. He just brushed the thought away and expected it to be because of the loud waterfall next to them that was making the horse feel restless.Jimin removed his things from the horse and left his things near the edge of the forest. He tied his horse loosely around a branch and began looking for his fishing equipment. He found what he needed and brought them closer to the shore of the pond. He had a quick look around the water before deciding to clean himself up a bit before starting fishing.Jimin began by removing his shoes and shirt, placing them next to his backpack. His other clothes began to pile up on top of the backpack, until he was free from all of his clothes. He took one more look at the water, deciding if it was deep enough for him to dive in it. And it was, so after he managed to walk into the water he took a deep dive in it before resurfacing. The water was cold, making his teeth chatter slightly. But it brought him to life, making him feel energized after a good nights worth of sleep. But it was still too cold to continue swimming in it, so he hurried when he dipped his hair back into the water and gave it a good scrub. He then threw his head back up, making the wet hair fling water to his back. He floated in the water for a small moment, letting his ears fall underneath the water to listed to the sound of the waterfall in a whole new way. It was peaceful. Jimin wished that he could visit a place like this everyday.But that was sadly impossible, and he needed to move again. So he lifted himself up on his feet, walking carefully on the bottom of the pond, feeling smooth rocks on the bottom of his feet. Jimin could see them as the water was so clear. He was so keen on looking at where he should step next that he was completely oblivious to what was happening around him. It was only when his horse made a loud distressed sound, that he was able to look up to the shore.Jimin froze as he looked at the familiar witch standing there next to his belongings. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Jimin looked at Namjoon and then at all his weapons that were hidden in the front pocket of his backpack, that was right next to the witch. This was a situation that he did not think he would get himself into.There was silence, but Jimin's horse decided to break that silence by letting out another sound as Namjoon moved a step. Jimin now understood why his horse had been acting weirdly before, as it had sensed that the witch was near them.'Do you usually always wait for your victims to undress themselves before you make a move?' Jimin then spoke, crossing his arms as he stood in the waist deep water.The witch let out a laugh and smirked. 'Not always.' He reached down and opened the closed pocket in Jimin's bag, pulling out whatever was making him feel so drawn to the bag. Jimin swallowed slowly as he saw Namjoon pull out the green emerald dagger.'But why do i feel like it isn't you in this situation who is the victim?' Namjoon spoke, studying the fine dagger in his hands. 'Seeing as it is you who have decided to follow me all the way out here with such a weapon. Quite evil of you, Prince.'Jimin looked at the witch, confused. 'You really think that i came all the way out here because of you? You think quite high of yourself.' He laughed, beginning to walk up to the shore.Namjoon didn't move as Jimin walked up from the water, coming next to him and grabbing his clothes. The witch really tried not to seem bothered by the humans lack of clothing but he couldn't help and look away for a moment. Jimin smirked, feeling like he succeeded at making the witch feel embarrassed. He cleared his throat and took a few steps back to put his clothes back on.'I hope you don't actually think that i came here because of you.' Jimin murmured as he dressed himself, throwing his pants on quickly. 'Because that would be just embarrassing.' He placed his shirt on his shoulder, wanting to let his skin dry before putting it on himself.'I can't seem to understand why you would be needing this-' Namjoon spoke as he pointed the dagger towards Jimin in one swift move. '-if you weren't planning on meeting with a witch.'Jimin shrugged his shoulders. 'You can never be too safe.' Namjoon shook his head in disbelieve. 'Oh you cannot lie to yourself. You know why you have this with you. It is because you were hoping to see me again.' He smirked, placing the dagger in his coats pocket.Jimin shared a glance at the witches direction. He wore clothes different to the ones that he last saw the witch in. Instead of human prisoner clothes, the witch now wore traditional clothes that Jimin had seen drawings in his books about. The witch also carried a large cane with him, that could be used as a flying devise when needed. Their second meeting was different in many ways. Namjoon wore his own clothes, Jimin hadn't been wearing anything. Namjoon hasn't tried to kill him yet and Jimin hopes he would so he could try to show his fighting skills against the other now.Many things were different, but one thing hadn't changed. Namjoon was a cocky asshole who hated him with all his guts. And the feeling was quite mutual.'I wasn't hoping on running into you that's for sure.' Jimin murmured, flinging his backpack over his shoulder. 'But for some reason you have the habit of showing up in front of me.' He added, beginning to walk towards his horse.'Excuse me?' Namjoon asked, following up behind him. '"I" have the habit of showing up in front of "you"?' He laughed in disbelieve. 'The last time i checked, it was your guards who took me against my will, and it was you who decided to show up in my cell that night.' He spoke, following Jimin behind him.Jimin rolled his eyes as he tied his bag onto the horse, who was giving mad side eye to Namjoon. Perhaps all horses had a secret hatred towards witches. 'If i recall, it was the guards who saved you from an auction and it was i who decided to come and set you free before the villages would have came in your room and killed you.' Jimin spoke, finding the situation quite hilarious. Here he was, having a vocal argument with a witch who had tried to kill him a week before.'I could have escaped the auction by myself very easily, and i did.' The witch laughed, crossing his arms. 'And i didn't need your help on freeing myself from the cell either. I could have done it myself and ended you in the process of doing so.''Then why didn't you?' Jimin then quickly asked, confusing the witch. 'Why didn't you kill me then?' Jimin repeated his question, enjoying the dejavu feeling that he had created. He had asked the same exact question back in the castle, after Namjoon had proceeded to choke him until he almost passed out. Good times, truly.Namjoon didn't have an answer then, and he didn't seem to have one right now either. Not surprising though. The witch was all just big talk, he wouldn't really hurt Jimin. He just had a feeling.'Still don't know huh?' Jimin asked, looking at the witch. He expected the other to look defeated and confused, but the witch broke into a smile instead.'I am not sure. Perhaps i am just, fascinated.' * 'I am sure the meeting could be moved, my King.' An adviser spoke as he clearly saw Yoongi struggle while reading his weekly schedule. Everything was so packed and he still needed to find room for small meetings with his advisers and guards. It was also hoped that he could make a few visits to the local villages, but it was quite dangerous at the moment. Seeing as people still wished him to be dead.Yoongi sighed as he eyed the messy writing on his calendar, it reading 'meeting about the new laws'.He shook his head. 'It is fine. I can make everything fit in somehow.' He assured the old man, who still seemed quite worried over the King. Yoongi was skipping over meals and hours worth of sleep quite often now. He still hadn't healed properly from his previous injury, his leg still aching with each step and when he moved too suddenly. But that wasn't anything surprising as he hadn't given the leg any time to try and heal itself.Yoongi wasn't going to cancel the meeting, as he needed it to happen quickly. Once the new laws were done then they could be put out there for people to know about them, so the faster they would start learning to live by them. It would take a while before people took them seriously however, as a change would not happen over night.'It is fine.' Yoongi assured himself out loud again. 'The meeting will still be held tonight.' He spoke, sending the adviser off with the information. He sighed, lifting his tired feet onto the table in front of him. He closed his eyes and let his mind relax for a moment. Just a few minutes, he told himself. That is all you need until you can fight through the day.Yoongi was slightly nervous for the coronation that would be held in a few days, but he was also very excited for it. He could not wait until things started moving forward again.As Yoongi was such a worried person, he would have wanted to do most things on his own leading up to his coronation, but that was just impossible due to the amount of work that had to be done. Yoongi had to learn how to share the responsibility that he was given. It was such good luck that he had friends and family who he knew he could trust.Taehyung now took care of everything that the army and guards were doing, taking care of the weapon stock and the well being of the guards. This left him with very little time to deal with his own role as a head guard, but some things were more important than others- so his coworkers took care of that role in the mean time.Jungkook was now officially promoted as the castle's head doctor, taking care of everyone's health and condition. This left him with an awful amount of responsibility, so he recruited a good amount of new nurses and doctors into the castle. He began his work by training them and making sure they were good enough to work in the castle and the local hospital.Jimin would take the role of being Yoongi's head adviser after he would return from his trip, but in the mean time it was their aunt- Jungkook's mother, who took care of that role. She was busy taking in all the information that came to her from all around the castle, the information being from gossip to actual important information that the King should know about.Speaking of his brother, Yoongi woke from his calm dream-like state when he remembered the small envelope that hid in his front pocket. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and reached for the small letter, opening it with his nails.He had not opened the letter in the few days since he first got it from Jungkook. He wanted to find time to read it properly, and he was also slightly scared what would be written on the inside of the letter. Jimin was never someone who would write and leave a letter, as he preferred to speak face to face instead. But he understood why the other decided to leave him with this, since he already did speak with him personally once but wasn't happy with the out come of that conversation.Yoongi opened the letter, folding it opened and looking at the slightly messy writing. He smiled as he could recognize the handwriting immediately. 'Hello Yoongi- or should i even say, King Yoongi from now on.''I apologize for lying to you and saying that i would agree with your contract. But you have to admit, you knew that i would break it because of my childish ways... So i apologize because of that.''The reason behind why i did so, is not because i wanted to hurt you or make you upset. And i hope you didn't feel any of those things after you found out. Because i still love and respect you as my brother, so i would never mean to make you feel those things. I just needed to be selfish for once.''I wanted to feel what it would be like to be free and to see the world for myself, without anyone's help. The timing might be a bit wrong right now, but i felt it was now or never because of the coronation happening soon. And i do need to be there for that, and in good health so i'll take care of myself.''I wish that you would trust me, Yoongi. Trust me enough to let me leave your side for a while and live on my own. I know you worry a lot, and it causes you heartache to think how i am doing when i am not near you. But you need to understand some things, that i am not the small vulnerable kid anymore. I have grown up a lot and understand the world much more now. But i'll never stop being your little brother.'Yoongi smiled, loving the way how comically Jimin wrote the letter. He would have expected something more sappy and dramatic from the other with such a letter, but he was glad that it wasn't like it at all. This calmed his heart.Yoongi knew he was a worrier. He worried about many things, Jimin being one of them. He usually stayed quiet about his worries and fears, but he trusted the other enough to tell them to him. So Jimin knew about his brothers worries well, and the fact that he worried over him a lot. And it was nice knowing that you were cared about and people looked out for you, but Jimin- and like everyone else- sometimes liked to be alone for a moment and learn to take care of themselves. Everyone needed to room to grow and learn about things on their own. Yoongi needed to learn how to give others that space, without being in such a worried state all the time.This letter made things easier. It made him realize that this wasn't such a serious situation after all. Jimin was a grown man who knew how to protect himself. He didn't need to worry about the other too much.Yoongi read through the letter one more time, folding the piece of paper neatly and placing it in his pocket again. He could remember and look at it whenever he felt nervous again. But perhaps due to his packed schedule, he wouldn't even have the time to worry about anything. * Hoseok received the news of the meeting early that morning. He was woken up by the knock on his door and he hesitated for a moment before opening it. He still didn't like being surrounded by so many humans at once. Opening the door and seeing a royal adviser and a bunch of guards was a sight that always made his heart jump a little.Why were they here? To throw him out? To take him in as a prisoner again?He couldn't help but feel unsure, as he found it hard to trust anything that these humans were telling him. It helped that they mentioned Jin, who would be joining them as well.Hoseok hadn't expected the meeting to be held so soon, so he was quite surprised. He had thought that it would take much longer before things would get moving because everything seemed to be so busy right now.He and Jin had been moved into better rooms to stay in. He too had a small outside area for himself, where he could spend his hours in. Both of them had also been given the permission to leave their rooms and explore the castle, as they were treated as visitors now. But the thought felt odd. Hoseok felt unsafe leaving the safety of his room.He preferred to stay in his wolf form, liking how he could hear things better and guard himself. But the apartment was still on the smaller side, compared to his wolf form that was quite large. And there had been a wish from the guards watching over that side of the castle, who wished that he would stay in his human form. Because they were afraid. So Hoseok tried to be nice and stay in his human for as much as possible, so that the guards wouldn't be bothered by it.The meeting would be held in the evening, and Hoseok wanted to meet with Jin before that. So that they could speak about it together before having to meet with the humans. It would be better to speak through their thoughts together than to just go to the meeting without thinking about what to say beforehand. So Hoseok decided to leave his stay, and visit Jin in the room almost next to his.The guards outside his room had already stopped asking where he was going, like they did during the first few days since he first got to the castle. It was their way of making sure he wasn't up to anything bad, but it just made him feel like a prisoner. Perhaps the guards had been told about this and that was the reason behind why they stopped interrogating him after every time he opened his door. Or perhaps they just knew where he was going, as he never left to go anywhere else than Jin's room. The fairy opened his door after the first knock, smiling as he saw the werewolf stand on the other side. The fairy began to speak about his morning and what he had been up to as he walked Hoseok over to the living room area.Hoseok could see that Jin had opened up to him much more, acting more comfortable and bright around him. It was nice, since they had no one other to speak with like each other.'I see that you have found yourself a new hobby?' Hoseok spoke, pointing to the pile of fabric that he could see at the corner of the room, set on top of a chair. Hoseok also noticed the sketches of what looked like outfits on a piece of paper.Jin hummed, placing his mug full of water onto the wooden table. 'I managed to gather up the courage to ask one of the maids who came to clean if she knew where i could find any fabrics and sewing material.' Jin laughed, reaching over to the pile of fabrics.'She got really excited and took me with her to the castle tailor who makes all of the royal's clothes. He immediately offered to make me some clothes if it was the King's wish, but i just asked him for some materials that i could use myself.' Hoseok nodded his head, smiling as he listened to Jin speak. It was nice seeing the other so excited over something seemingly useless and boring. But if just a few pieces of fabric could bring such a smile onto the fairies face, then it must be important to him.Jin's current clothes were the human ones given to him after he was brought into the castle. The shirt didn't fit him, and they had been poorly cut to make his wings fit. The material was wrong for his skin and he couldn't wear the shoes that they offered. Hoseok could see why the other wanted to create something comfortable for himself, since neither of them knew how long they would need to spend in the castle.Jin then began to show Hoseok the drawings that he had made, sharing some information on what kind of design he should use for himself that was alright in his culture. Fairies had a lot more 'rules' then Hoseok could have guessed.Wolves too had some simple rules, like how Alphas and females were always the first to eat. Omegas needed to be treated with respect and Betas knew their place in the between. The pack leader always made the rules on who should be allowed to mate and with who. Perhaps the unwritten rules seemed odd to others, but Hoseok finds them helpful and useful since he has lived with them all his life.Fairies had similar things, but a lot of those things could be seen through their clothing. If you were married, you could see it from their clothes. Also if you had a sibling or your parents were still alive. A different color meant a different thing, showing other fairies what kind of place you came from.Jin seemed excited as he spoke, showing Hoseok all the materials that he got. He paused after explaining the system behind fairies understanding what kind of a person you were just by looking at your clothes and seeing your role in your colony.Jin smiled sadly as he let the fabric sit in his lap, his fingers running through the soft material. 'This is kinda silly.' He then spoke.'I always wanted to wear all the colors when i was a child. I saw people like my parents, my teachers and leaders who wore beautiful colors on their garments- showing their place on our colony. They were parents, siblings, well taught, fighters and friends of others who all wore their achievements on their bodies.' Jin murmured.'I too wanted to show my achievements on my body once. That everyone could see how proud i am of what i had done during my lifetime.' He kept speaking, voice turning into a whisper. Hoseok listened carefully. Jin turned to look at Hoseok, his eyes turned into something darker and deeper. Hoseok could see the sorrow in them. 'Who is going to see those achievements now?' He then asked, making his friend go quiet.Why bother? The other was basically asking. Why bother wasting his time on something silly like this when the time spent on it would just go all to waste. Hoseok didn't know the answer, as he had been asking himself the same question a few times as well.Alphas were not welcomed into other packs, as they were seen as a threat. Every pack already had an alpha and a new one had already probably been born into the line to continue the alpha line. Taking in a new one would just cause trouble, as Alphas had a natural way of fighting for power. They wouldn't risk taking in a new one.A wolf without a pack is a dead one. Hoseok had heard that saying many times before, but never before had it made so much sense. Wolves were made to be pack animals. They fought together, hunted together, ate together and slept together. They took care of each other and no one could do that all alone.What use was from his Alpha role when he was all alone? Jin was feeling the same exact thing.The rare fairy had lost his whole family and colony. Hoseok lost his only family and would have a hard time finding a new one. The future seemed dark and fearful. They didn't know what would happen to them once they would leave the castle gates. The thought was scary and unknown. Hoseok hummed, nodding his head. 'It is complicated to say.' He said, being honest with his words. There was no way to sugarcoat the situation and they both knew it.'But i do know, that i truly saw you be happy for the first time in- possibly for the first time since a met you- and that was because of the thought of creating something from these fabrics.' Hoseok spoke, taking a piece of leather from the pile of materials, moving it in his hands. 'And i don't think that is silly. I think it is amazing.' He spoke.'You were smart enough to find something positive out of such a situation, and i am so glad you decided to share that feeling with me.' The wolf smiled, grabbing a pen and a piece on paper, beginning to draw something onto the blank canvas. 'Because you shared some hope for me as well.' He murmured, looking as Jin watched him draw.'So who cares if no one is able to understand our culture completely. We can always teach them and tell them.' Hoseok spoke, showing Jin the drawing of what looked like a poorly drawn leather vest.'And besides.' Hoseok smiled. 'Now you'll be able to add the colors of a teacher onto your design, once you tell me how on earth to sew.'Jin shook his head, laughing as he looked at the picture drawn by the wolf. 'Let's start by learning how to draw first?' * Namjoon had a weird want for danger. He didn't like boring situations and looked for new adventures daily. This sometimes lead him to near death experiences that he had been close to way too many times. It was slightly worrying how many times he has almost been killed because of his curious personality. He has been captured by hunter many times, as he found himself getting too close to the humans who he knew would only cause him trouble. But he was always up for a challenge. Namjoon wanted to live dangerously, with him searching for humans and hunters who he could fight with and practice his spells more often. Sometimes situations got out of control and he would be captured for days at a time. However, he always managed to get out some how in the end.Namjoon had been on one of his regular visits to a local lake, where he knew he would meet humans- when the situation got way out of hand and he was captured and taken to the auction. The humans had enough of him joking around, showing up in front of them and playing with his life. The hunters who could not capture him and kill him knew something needed to be done, so they hired a special witch hunter. That hunter would make sure that Namjoon would be sold somewhere and his that his buyer could get rid of him however they wanted.Namjoon of course through that the situation wasn't that different from his previous mishaps. The seriousness of the situation only began to hit him after he saw all the other creatures around him that night in the cages. Namjoon realized that perhaps he had finally crossed the border and would receive his punishment. But he was saved from the situation once again, but this time by humans themselves.Namjoon didn't know how to react, seeing as humans decided to save him from something that surely would have been his end. He couldn't feel grateful, or angry. He was just confused on what to feel.Humans were odd to him.Namjoon saw them kill his own kind, and he has killed a few of them. He has seen the horrible things that the humans could do when given the chance, yet he had seen some good things. Namjoon wanted to believe his Nanna, and truly believe that everyone had some good in them. But as the memory of his mothers death remains fresh in his mind, it was hard to believe that the humans had any good in them.He was torn in the middle. Perhaps he can finally understand what the fairy was going through when he was asked to heal the King. Namjoon heard the rumors. Of how the fight broke loose on the night of his escape and how the King passed away that same night. The fairy had tried to heal him, which he couldn't understand why. But perhaps it wasn't for him to understand it anyways.Whatever the reason behind that act might have been, Namjoon was sure that it was not easy to make that decision to try and heal the King. He wouldn't have done it, but the fact that the fairy came to such a decision meant that he was going through a lot. Namjoon could respect that. As Namjoon studied the human walking in front of him, he couldn't have guessed that this was a man who had just recently lost his father. There was no sign of sadness in him as he walked through the path in the woods, with his head held high. Namjoon could almost sense a happy aura coming from around him.The questions were burning in his mind as he walked behind the human.How he got himself into this situation? Namjoon wasn't too sure. He had been in the middle of arguing with the human when the other decided he had enough of their childish act. So he took his bag and threw it to Namjoon, confusing the other. With a small smile and an order- Namjoon was following the human through the woods.Namjoon of course asked what on earth he was thinking about, and the human simply answered; 'Well now that you're here, you can help me carry my things to my next stop. Right?' Namjoon stayed quiet and rolled his eyes. Now, as Namjoon has lived in this area for all his life, he knows the woods like his back yard. He could walk through these paths blindfolded and still make it home before the sun set. The same couldn't be said from the human who walked around headless with a map that looked like it was way too old. Not to mention the fact that it was clearly upside down. So to save them all some time, Namjoon walked up new to the human and took the map from him, studying it for a moment. 'This this is very outdated.' He spoke as he looked at the old markings on the map, seeing that most of the things marked on the map like wells and cottages were not there anymore.The human grabbed the map back, glaring at the witch who looked offended. 'Thank you, but i think i know what i am doing. This map was from the castle after all, and given to me by the royal map drawer.' The human smiled, trying to find where his finger was pointed before the map was taken away from him.Namjoon rolled his eyes and pointed at a spot before even looking at it. 'We are here. But none of the things in the forest exist anymore. Everything has been demolished or destroyed over the years. You were given an old map on purpose.' Namjoon murmured, adjusting the weight of the bag that he was holding onto. The human looked confused for a moment, looking back at the map. 'Why would he do that?' Namjoon shrugged his shoulders, walking past the human and his horse. 'Perhaps he held something against you.' Namjoon suggested, taking out his wand that he held in his pocket. He looked at the glowing wooden piece of art for a moment before turning back to the human who was looking at him with fascination.'I'll help you find a sheltered place. Then i get to go on my own way and we'll be even for good. No need to use me as a servant anymore, because i already helped you with this.' He laid out his rules, not waiting for an answer as it wasn't a suggestion but his own rule.Namjoon enjoyed messing around with the human and playing with his emotions, but he was afraid that things would change. The human still carried weapons with him and could hurt him easily. Namjoon didn't want to take any chances when it came to being safe from being shot by a gun. Happened to him twice, and he wouldn't like to go through the experience three times.The Prince did not answer to his rule and stayed quiet as Namjoon began burning away the branches in front of them with his magic. Namjoon could hear how he crumbled the map into a ball and threw it somewhere into the bushes. * Taehyung cleared his throat, trying to make the situation seem less awkward. He was currently seated in front of the werewolf, who he remembers clearly from the day that he was brought into the castle. The memory of him pulling the wolf from his cage and almost losing his hand to the beast was still fresh in his mind.The werewolf seemed to have lost interest in him, as he first looked at him with his golden eyes but now sat quietly and looked somewhere else. Perhaps the wolf too became bored of watching his face.Taehyung assumed that the fairy sat next to the wolf didn't have such a nice memory of him either, as he was the one to shoot him down with a net back in the auction spot. It really wasn't the reunion that he wished for, seeing the creatures again in such a manner.Taehyung was quite hopeless alone, without Jungkook or Yoongi on his side during such a situation. The two of them were late as Jungkook had to participate in a emergency surgery and Yoongi was still on his way getting back to the castle from his earlier visit to the village. So he was left alone in the small meeting room with the creatures for a moment. He wasn't afraid at all. He didn't carry any of his weapons and was dressed in his comfortable clothes as he knew no one 'important' attended the meeting. Funnily enough, the meeting was with the King but he wouldn't need to dress nicely as he was his best friend. Some might think weird of it, but it was normal to them. Yoongi wouldn't want him to act any different around him now that the coronation would be held. In the end Taehyung always knew his friend would become his King someday, and that never stopped him from playing tricks on him and calling him names. And that wouldn't change even in the future.Taehyung trusted Yoongi and knew the other well enough to know that he knew what he was doing. So as Taehyung studied the two creatures in front of him, he knew he could trust them as well.'I am not sure, but i believe i never introduced myself.' He then spoke out, catching the two creatures attention. 'I am the head guard and army leader, Taehyung.' He spoke, getting up and doing a quick bow.Even though they stayed quiet, both of them did the same and got up from their seats. The werewolf was the first to speak out. 'I am Hoseok.' He murmured, then gesturing towards his hand. 'I would apologize for trying to bite your hand off, but you kinda deserved it for trying to shoot me.' He spoke, referring to the first time the two met each other- when Hoseok had just been brought into the castle and he was in his wolf form.Taehyung let out a small laugh. 'I hope we could put that all behind us now.' He wished, and luckily received a small nod from the wolf. Taehyung then turned his attention towards the fairy.The fairy looked different from the first time that they met. Back then the gold winged fairy wore prisoners clothes and looked very weak. Now the fairy looked like he had gathered more strength and he wore different clothing. Taehyung couldn't recognize the colorful clothes, and assumed that they were apart of his own culture.'I also apologize for being the one who captured you.' Taehyung spoke to the fairy, receiving a quick bow from the other.'It is put behind us.' The fairy assured him, wanting to move on from any hard feelings between them. The fairy then told Taehyung why he decided to forgive him and he even told him is name, which Taehyung had not been expecting.He did not know much about fairies and their ways, but he remembers the fairy having trouble telling his name when he was first brought into the castle. Jungkook then later explained to him the reason behind that, being the fact that the fairies believed that their names were sacred. Taehyung then thought that there was no way he would ever know the fairies name as he would unlikely never gain his trust, but he thought wrong.But Taehyung also didn't believe that the fairy trusted him, but shared his name because of other reasons. Perhaps because he felt like he needed to say it in order for things to move on. The fairy was ready to forget his own traditions and do as the humans wanted, which was sad to think about. Taehyung felt bad as he began to think that perhaps he somehow forced the fairy to say his name out loud in front of him.But the fairy didn't seem upset or sad by what he had just done, but actually more comfortable. He was having a conversation with Hoseok as Taehyung waited for the rest to show up to the meeting. He was honestly quite tired and hoped things to move fast. He wanted to finally spend the night sleeping next to Jungkook again, as the two have been so busy that they haven't been able to share the same sleeping schedule. Jungkook has been working since early in the morning and sleeps in the evening, while Taehyung works during the night and sleeps for a short amount of time during the day. Both of them were beginning to feel the stress that was gaining up on them. Everything was so hectic leading up to the coronation. Everyone hoped that things would calm down after that, but that was just a hope.After a few more minutes they received the information that the two missing members had reached the castle. Jungkook was on his way, but Yoongi needed to stop by his advisers to discuss the things that he saw and did in the village. But after that he would be on his way to the meeting.Taehyung knew that the other was very busy, so he would never complain about him being late or not showing up in time. Yoongi was already going through so much mentally and physically that he couldn't even begin to complain about himself when he thought about the other.As Taehyung has been Yoongi's friend for more than both of them can remember, Taehyung has been there for all the times that Yoongi has ever felt scared about his future. Many say that the royals have it all covered for them and that they will live a life full of success and happiness. But that isn't always the case.Yoongi has told his secrets to Taehyung, of how he fears about becoming the King and having so much responsibility. He fears causing harm to others and he isn't sure if he is strong enough to keep his head held high in front of others. Yoongi is kind, shy and pretty quiet in front of others. He is afraid of speaking in front of unknown people and gets nervous when he meets others for the first time. He is just like everyone else, and now suddenly so much is expected from him as the new King. Taehyung can understand the struggles that it brings along. He was way too young when he was chosen as the head guard. He had friends older and stronger than him who would have been way better at the job and he wondered how on earth was he the one to be chosen. He couldn't understand it himself, so neither could others. Even though the leader, Taehyung received harsh words, rebellion and even punches for the next few years after being picked as the leader. Others just couldn't believe that he was their leader now, and they didn't like to be bossed around by someone much younger and who didn't have as much experience as them in the field. Taehyung lived through hell for those few years, until he realized what he needed to do. He needed to change himself and act tough in front of his men.Only then did he begin to gain their trust and service. He needed to change himself from the young man into a real soldier who was ready to die for his country. That change didn't happen in a day or a week, but it took months and years of fighting and learning. But finally he was able to proudly call himself the leader of the royal guard.Taehyung knows for a fact that Yoongi is able to do the same, through hard work and patience- he too will gain the thrust of others and rise to the top as the King of Solaria. * Yoongi arrived to the meeting almost on time. He was dead tired and wished to have a short rest, but he knew this was more important. Once this meeting was over everything could finally start changing. Jin and Hoseok had been slightly nervous before the meeting, as they thought about all of the things that they wanted to say. The thought of the humans not understanding the importance of their wishes was very real and possible. But luckily everything that they said was put into consideration as the new laws. Both of them could let out a sigh of relief when the meeting was declared finished, with their wishes written down on a paper. Now they could only wait and hope. Jin left the meeting room feeling a bit dazed. His heart was still beating slightly faster than normal, and he could feel the adrenaline rushing through his system. He felt slightly powerful for speaking so confidently back in the room in front of the humans.The fact that everything that he said was written down and not forgotten made him feel hopeful that there truly would be a change in the future. But he didn't want to get his hopes too up just to have them crushed back down. That had happened way too many times before, so he just stuck to waiting patiently.After the meeting, Hoseok was asked to join the guard- Taehyung to another room as the guard wished to speak with him about something. Jin didn't think much of it at first, but when he saw the worried look written on the wolves face when pulled to the side, Jin's mind began to race.He was so focused on keeping an eye at the door that the two exited the room, that he almost missed the way that his name was called out among all the people in the room.Jin looked to see Yoongi stand there with all his guards behind him.The other smiled, looking quite tired- and Jin wouldn't blame him.'I was wondering if it wouldn't be too odd of me to invite you for dinner?' The King then asked, surprising Jin completely. He would have never thought that he other would ask such a question, surprising the people around him. His adviser squinted his eyes and pouted as he watched the scene unfold in front of him.Jin swallowed once, thinking for a moment. Was was the reason behind this sudden request? What could have caused the human to ask him such a thing and want to share a meal with him. Jin couldn't understand, and that was exactly why he said yes.'I'd love to.' He answered, feeling much more lighter now that the meeting was over and he no longer needed to feel anxious over speaking out loud. He had done what he needed, and now he could relax.Yoongi smiled, happy to hear that the fairy would like to share a meal and a talk with him. 'Excellent.' He spoke, bringing his arms behind his back and letting his posture relax a bit, seeming more comfortable. 'I hope you don't mind if i were to pay a short visit to my room before the meal.' He then murmured.Jin shook his head, a smile on his lips. 'Not at all. You've had a rough day. Take as long as you need.' He assured the other who appreciated the chance to go and clean himself up a bit.Jin then promised to show up to the royal dining room after a short while, when Yoongi would be ready. After the King left with his guards and adviser, Jin began to wonder if he should have asked if Hoseok could have joined them as well. Because he felt wrong for going without his friend, but also because he felt suspicious. Jin brushed the feeling away and waited for his friend before leaving together with the werewolf. 'What did you and the head guard discuss about?' Jin asked as the two of them walked through the hallways of the castle, heading towards their own rooms.'It's odd actually.' Hoseok murmured, hand playing with a button that ripped out of his shirt earlier that day. Jin would need to fix that, or teach Hoseok how to sew it back together.'I thought about this earlier just the other day, but i have began feeling way more anxious and nervous these days. And i think it is because i haven't been able to use my wolf form as i usually would. Causing me to have way too much energy and gathered up feelings. I would just need to transform into my wolf form and run for a whole day, and maybe go hunt. But i didn't think that would be possible in this situation.'Hoseok's lips formed into a slight smile. 'But i guess i was wrong. Because the head guard, Taehyung, had a plan that he wanted to discuss with me. He had an idea revolving around me being able to form into a wolf and also helping the castle. He wondered if i could help with the newly trained guards.'Jin hummed out, nodding his head. 'I guess that would make sense. Seeing as you would get to go outside and release all that energy.''Yeah.' Hoseok laughed, feeling clearly happy about his new "job".He stayed quiet for a while as the two walked down the hallway, looking at his feet as he did so. He then turned to Jin again. 'Wouldn't you like to fly again?'Jin pursed his lips, thinking about the sudden question for a moment. 'I can always fly in the garden.' He then said, receiving a unhappy noise from Hoseok.'Not like that.' He murmured. 'I mean like truly being able to fly up to the sky and feel the wind underneath your wings. You haven't been able to feel that in ages.' Hoseok said, looking at Jin with something in his eyes that Jin couldn't quite catch. Was it sadness?Jin smiled slightly, letting his head hang for a moment, looking at his bare feet as he walked down the hallway. 'I suppose it has been a while.' He then confessed.The wolf jumped next to him, tapping his shoulder. 'I thought so!' He smiled widely, finding happiness in that Jin came clean with his thoughts.Hoseok then moved in front of the other, stopping him. He had a serious look on his face as he looked at the fairy.'Let's go out tonight.' The wolf then suggested suddenly. Jin couldn't even take a breath as the other already began to tell his plan out for him.'We have the right to move freely around now, so it is not forbidden from us to go outside of the castle. We can go and come back as we wish- at least that is how i have understood it. And besides, why would anyone care if we disappeared for a few hours if we would return?'Hoseok kept on mumbling something underneath his breath, thinking out his plan about how to leave the castle. Jin just stood there in silence, smiling as the other continued to ramble on and on as if he was planning the greatest escape plan in history.Jin finally managed to stop the other when he began to think about what to do if they wouldn't be let back inside the castle and other worries that would most likely never happen.'Hoseok.' Jin called out for the other, catching his attention. 'There is no need to worry about useless things. Just like you said- we have the right to do what we wish and the permission.' He comforted the other. 'So i'll say yes to your plan. It would be nice to be able to go outside again and test my wings out.'Hoseok began smiling as he received the okay from the other, his face lighting up like a kid. The alpha sure looked scary when he was in his wolf form and growled at his enemies, but he looked more like a cute puppy when he was with the people that he trusted. 'Great!' He laughed out, pulling on the others hand. 'We should go right now.' He then suggested.Jin smiled, forgetting about everything else for a moment and wanting to join the other, but coming back to reality as he remembered the plans that he agreed to just a moment ago.'Ah, i agreed to meet with Yoongi just a moment ago.' Jin then confessed, trying to read Hoseok's mind on what he was feeling when he said that. The other didn't look mad or sad, but more confused.'With the King?' He asked, letting go of the fairy's hand that he had been holding onto previously. 'Why does he want to see you?'Jin shrugged his shoulders, his wings fluttering behind him. 'I believe he wanted to have dinner together. The reason behind that? I am not so sure either.' He murmured.Hoseok hummed out, crossing his arms. 'Well, that is a nice thing to do. But slightly odd.'Jin had to agree with him. He couldn't understand why out of everyone Yoongi decided to pull him away from others and ask him to join him for dinner even after he was so busy. Jin was anxious about the reason behind the sudden invitation as he still didn't know if he could trust the other. Yoongi had a kind heart and ways, but Jin still remembers how he first saw the other. As the rough King who held a gun in his hand and treated him as a prisoner. A first impression like that doesn't just go away easily.'I agree.' Jin then said. 'But i agreed to his invitation and promised to be there. Who knows, perhaps he wanted to speak with me more about the laws that he couldn't ask during the meeting.'Hoseok slowly nodded his head, but still not completely sure on how to feel. And Jin wouldn't blame him. He felt the same anxiety when he saw Hoseok being pulled aside when the guard wanted to speak with him. In the end the two of them could trust only each other right now, finding it odd and scary to be away from each other and seeing each other be somewhere else. Hoseok let out a hum. 'I trust him.' He then said. 'I believe that Yoongi has only good intentions towards us right now. It seems like he truly wants to create peace and make a difference. I don't see him wanting to cause anymore harm between humans and us creatures.'Jin agreed, finding it odd that the other was speaking about this subject so wisely and seriously. Jin of course guessed that the other would say something inappropriate as there was suddenly a small smirk dancing on his lips.'Now, seeing as the King invited you over for dinner, i guess you no longer have to worry about the mating season starting in the spring.' He laughed, enjoying as Jin almost choked on his own spit and blushed in a deep color of red.The wolf managed to escape from the scene just before the fairy could throw a swing towards him with a clenched fist. The wolf ran off with a laugh, leaving Jin stood there in embarrassment. He cleared his throat once and fixed the front of his shirt, looking around to make sure no one was there to hear their conversation, before taking off towards his own room. * Jimin should have known something was out of the ordinary.Sure, he was walking through the dark woods with a witch so tried to previously kill him and who held a powerful weapon with him while leaving him with nothing. Jimin was also supposed to trust the evil witch who offered to find him a place to stay the night, since he found out he was given an old map by purpose. Why? He did not know for sure, but he had an idea.Ever since the rumors of him becoming a traitor to the King broke out before his fathers death, Jimin knew that even though he was let out of prison and taken back into the castle- that others wouldn't forgive him so easily like Yoongi and others did. There were some who still held a grudge against him because of what he did to the deceased King.Jimin could only guess that the royal map drawer gave him an old map by purpose, in the hopes of the young prince getting lost and never coming back. Perhaps this was a plan made by multiple people in the castle. Could he trust the guards, maids and advisers when he would return?With these worries in mind, Jimin followed Namjoon who walked before him, lighting the way with his fire magic and getting rid of the plantation with the emerald dagger that he took from the other.Jimin made sure to keep an eye on him as he held such powerful weapons on him, but he knew he had nothing to worry. Jimin had come to the conclusion that the witch would do no harm to him.He had been given so many chances to kill the prince, but he decided not to. And Jimin couldn't understand why he decided not to hurt him, even though he knew that the witch wanted to cause him harm.Namjoon hated humans like him more than anyone. He had tried to kill the prince once and could have done it, but didn't. And he hasn't tried since even though he has been given the chance multiple times.Even now, as the witch held his wand in hand and a dangerous dagger, he paid no attention to the human walking behind him. Jimin found the situation odd, even though he joked through his own anxiety.Hearing that the witch would help him find cover for the night and lead him through a dark forest would make anyone else feel strange and suspicious, but not him. He for some odd reason has decided to trust the dangerous creature.Jimin held onto the rope that his horse was tied with a bit tighter when they headed towards the middle of the dark forest. It was hard not to worry and to just follow the witch without thinking about what would happen to him. Even though he wanted to act tough and seem fine with everything that was happening, he couldn't help but look around him nervously as they came across an odd opening in the forest that revealed a tiny camping spot. Namjoon poked his cane down to the mossy ground, letting it stand there on it's own. He turned around to Jimin, crossing his arms as he stood there for a moment.Jimin stared back for a moment, confused to why they stopped. 'Is this the place?' Jimin then asked, realizing that this must have been the spot that the witch spoke about earlier.'This is the safe spot that i can spend the night in?' He asked again, laughing as he looked around him, seeing all the old dead trees around him and many rocks that hunters could be hiding behind at any given moment.The witch shrugged his shoulders, Jimin noticing a smirk on his lips even when it was pitch dark around them.'I promised to find you a place to spend the night in. I did just that.' He spoke, throwing down the bag that Jimin had made him carry all this time. Jimin looked at the leather bag for a moment before looking back up at the witch. 'The deal was to find a safe place to stay in.' He murmured. 'This place is far from safe.'Namjoon smiled, shaking his head. 'This spot is safe. No one ever even moves through these parts of the woods, as they are guarded by witches. If you had stayed in your previous spot, humans would have found you in a matter of hours.'Jimin couldn't really tell which was worse. To be caught by other humans or by witches. Either way, he would be dead. Humans would most likely torture him because of what he did but witches would take care of him quickly.It was already night, and the darkness had fallen on top of them completely. There was no way that Jimin would be able to find a better place by himself, as Namjoon would leave him alone with his horse.So there wasn't much that he could do. Jimin stood still for a moment before beginning to remove his bags from on top of the horse. Namjoon stood still and watched until Jimin looked back at him.He cleared his throat and looked away, grabbing onto his cane. 'Like i said, i did as told. Now we are even.' He spoke, placing the emerald dagger into his pocket, adjusting the hat that he was wearing to hide his face better.Jimin said nothing as he looked at the other, nodding his head.Namjoon waited a second more, looking at the other as if he was waiting for something more. Perhaps he expected the human to feel angrier or upset at him for leading to such a spot, but he didn't see anything like that in the other.The human would never know of his intentions as he would never tell the other, that the spot that he chose was well known as his own camping spot when he would leave home. So no human dared to come even near it and keeping away any other witch as well. The Prince would be safe thanks to this, even though the spot looked like it was anything else than safe.Namjoon nodded his head, and with one quick turn- he disappeared into the wind like a spell. * Yoongi looked at the other with fascination as he watched the fairy sit across of him, his cheeks still blushed because of his previous compliment regarding the fairies new clothes that he apparently made himself. Yoongi couldn't even sew a button on place, let alone create a whole outfit like the other did, so he was very impressed.The meal was eaten in peace as the two spoke about whatever came in their minds. Yoongi enjoyed being able to spend time with the other without any of his advisers or guards. This was rare and he only got to do this after telling his guards multiple times to stay away and letting them know that he was safe. He trusted Jin more than others. There was just something about the fairy that told Yoongi that he could trust the kind creature.It took him a while before he could see the other as just Jin, instead of a fairy. The wings and the magical aura coming off of the other was so distracting to him that it took a moment before he could see beyond the outer appearance of the other. But once he did, Yoongi could see the kind and smart person that the other truly was behind his quiet shell.Yoongi smiled between their conversation, a joke that one of them made at some point still fresh in his mind. He watched the other laugh as he placed down his cutlery. Yoongi cleared his throat. 'I am truly glad that you said yes to my invite.' He then said, catching the fairies attention. 'I had fun being able to enjoy a meal like this after a long time, without any coworkers or guards breathing against my neck.' He murmured, wiping his hands against a napkin.Jin hummed and looked at the other. 'I hope you didn't feel too exhausted, seeing as you could have used this time to rest instead of speaking with me.'Yoongi smiled and shook his head. 'No, i feel great. It was lovely spending time with you.'The fairy let out a laugh, his wings fluttering slightly. 'Has the King always had a habit of sweet talking his guests like this?' He asked, leaning against his hand that was propped against the table, his gentle eyes looking back at Yoongi.Yoongi didn't know if it was the wine talking, or just his foolish mind, but he felt giddy when he spoke with the other.'Let's just say that you're a very special occasion.' He spoke, bringing his glass to his lips to take a sip of the sweet wine. Jin didn't know what to feel when he walked back to his room that evening, having just shared a lovely meal with the King.He had not been expecting to see the other so casual and relaxed around him, as all of his guards and advisers were away from him. The royal seemed just like anyone else that Jin would have met before, minus the wings.Jin didn't know how to act around humans, and he was often very nervous when having to be around them in the castle, but being with Yoongi seemed different. It was almost as if Jin forgot the fact that Yoongi was someone who he should have been afraid of and stayed away from him. The fact that he was a human and Jin himself was a fairy didn't come between them like it usually would have and Jin was happy to enjoy a casual moment with the other like that.Perhaps the wine and the candles lit in the room were a bit too much, considering that the meal was supposed to be shared during a conversation about work and their jobs. Or so Jin at least expected when the King first asked him.Jin however began to realize that was not the case.Jin sighed deeply as he sunk himself into his warm bath, closing his eyes and feeling the water cuddle him as he stretched his limbs. He moved his hands across the water, light coming from his fingertips in small streams and making the water seem magical- as it was.Jin tried to calm him beating heart, but couldn't. The small kind remarks and compliments from the human before was making his heart dance against his chest, blood rushing to his cheeks. Jin opened his eyes and sat in the water while pressing his hands against his cheeks.'Do not be foolish.' He murmured to himself, the image of the royal coming back to his mind. The image of his sweet smile and laugh ringing in his ears and the short touch that they shared when saying goodbye lingered on his skin.Jin sunk his head underneath the water in the attempts of making himself forget about his current thoughts. It did not work.It was like a spell that was put on him, making it impossible to stop thinking about what had happened. Jin felt embarrassed, as he knew he was over reacting. The two of them only shared a meal. All the compliments and smiles were something that the King had been taught since a young age, so he knew how to act around other people. Jin, not so much. Yoongi most likely did things like this with everyone he trusted, seeing as he loved his own brother so much and his close friends. Jin shouldn't feel special at all.He shouldn't.He really shouldn't.He really should just stop thinking about the other. Then why couldn't he? * Namjoon was making his way through the woods, his cane on one hand and one in his pocket where he could feel his wand at all times.The emerald dagger that he took was heavy against his chest as it moved inside the pocket. The feeling of holding onto the thing that is most dangerous to you made him feel strong, seeing as the dagger close to his heart could kill him at any moment if someone were to push it against his cold flesh.With enough weapons to defend himself, Namjoon made his way through the forest with his head held high. He felt unstoppable.Coming into contact with any human right now would have made him feel excited, knowing that he could have beat them if he wanted to. But he didn't have the desire to kill a human tonight. Perhaps because he had just helped one out of the kindness in his dark heart.The Prince didn't know it, but he had done a huge favor for him when he pointed the other towards the old camp that he had been using for years. It was a safe spot because anyone who knew the forest knew not to go near it, as they knew it was near the location where the most powerful witch in the whole forest lived. Namjoon's grandmother. Nanna's cabin wasn't too far from the spot, but far enough that Namjoon knew for sure that the Prince wouldn't be able to follow him there.Namjoon was making his way towards the cabin, the things that his Nanna asked to collect from the local market hidden in his bag. It were the usual things that he had, from herbs and vegetables to frogs and animal claws. He was never that into making potions like his Nanna was, but he knew how to make a few. He preferred to use his wands magic more.Namjoon was humming a familiar tune from his childhood as he walked through the rough terrain of the forest, his feet sinking into the fluffy moss on the ground. Each step made a different sound and the branches that he pushed away from his face snapped due to their old age. Even when hearing all this, Namjoon was still able to catch something, turning to look behind him.Namjoon could hear the familiar sound of a witch crying in the far, somewhere in the forest. He stopped for a moment, listening to see if he could hear more. There was silence, followed by another scream.Namjoon bit his lip as he looked back towards the cabin, before turning around towards the sound. Namjoon placed his bag on top of a rock and took his cane out, placing it in front of him. With a quick spell the wooden cane began to float in front of him, him jumping on top of the thing. With his feet off the ground, he took off towards the moon lit sky. All that Namjoon knew was that a fellow witch was in some kind of trouble, when he heard the howling screams of the other. He had no idea what he would see when he would reach the spot where the screams were located at.Even though same race, witches didn't really care for each other unless family. Namjoon wouldn't have usually wasted his own time and left to search for this troubled witch but he felt different tonight.He followed the screams and flew near the trees, giving him some protection from whatever was the cause of the frantic witch.The screams stopped at a certain point and Namjoon became more careful. He eventually stopped mid flight and propped himself up on a big tree branch, looking down to see what had caused the screams and the sudden stop.Namjoon remembers reaching out to look down at the ground and not seeing much, before he was struck by something that made him lose his balance. Namjoon fell to the ground with a loud thump and a groan.His head took a good hit and he lost his vision for a moment, trying to collect himself as quickly as possible to move from his spot. But he couldn't. When he came back to it tried to move, he realized what the thing had been that hit him down from the tree. Namjoon's fingernails grabbed onto the thick rope that the net was made of, as it held him in place.Namjoon hissed as he saw the figures come near him, two humans laughing as they came to study him.'This aint the Prince, but he'll do just as fine.' One of the men spoke, his voice low and decorated with an accent that only farmers had.Namjoon glared at the two for a moment, before reaching for his wand. Only to realize that he did not have it. A moment of panic rushed through his mind before he collected himself again. He could not show any weakness in front of the humans. He grinned, hissing and showing teeth as he tried to fight the net, without any success. The humans found the sight of him fighting funny, laughing as the witch struggled in the net. When they had enough of the sight, one of the men pulled on a rope, making the net rise from the ground and up slightly. Namjoon hung in the air as he watched the two humans walk around him.A scream was heard again. Namjoon looked to the side, seeing a female witch chained to a nearby tree. She had been cut and tortured, with black blood decorating her outer image and surroundings. Namjoon swallowed as he saw the other man walk close to the woman, who let out another long scream before it came to a sudden stop. The man shot a gun straight against the witches head, her voice dying out in a matter of seconds. Her voice gargled with blood as what was left of her face hung lifelessly on top of her shoulders. Namjoon stared at the sight for a moment, hearing the men say something but not being able to make it up as he was too busy trying to keep his stomach inside his body instead of vomiting it up.The men laughed, cursing out the lifeless witch before turning to Namjoon again.She had been just a bait. She wasn't needed by the humans and didn't need to die because of something like this. Her death was unfortunate and Namjoon hoped she didn't suffer too much before her death. If anything he had hoped he would have came sooner so that the torture wouldn't have needed to happen at all.Namjoon threw one last look towards the lifeless witch before looking at the two men around him.'Just our luck.' One of them spoke, green and black teeth showing as he laughed straight at Namjoon's face.'We should have known that this trip wouldn't go to waste even though we didn't catch the Prince.' The other laughed. 'At least we caught the dirty witch who escaped the castle. The royals will be glad.' Namjoon stayed quiet, but listened to everything that they said.Though a bit out of it, he still remembers the first thing that the humans said when they caught him. Their words being about the traitor Prince, Jimin.Why the humans then combined catching the Prince and the royals being happy about it was a part that Namjoon could not understand.But that was not his most important worry right now. The thing he needed to worry about the most was the fact that these humans wanted to take him back to the humans and do something with him. Perhaps he would be burned at a village in front of a huge audience. Or perhaps he would get sold again at an auction. He wasn't too sure what his end would be like, but it would not be painless.The humans proceeded to move him from the tree into the back of a horse carrier. Namjoon began to look for his wand that he later noticed on the ground, one of the men noticing it as well and taking it with him.While being moved to the carrier, Namjoon tried to reach for the dagger in his pocket without being noticed but this was noticed quickly. As soon he opened his jackets pocket, a hand grabbed him through the net and grabbed the dagger before he could do the same. The human didn't get to do so without getting a punishment however as Namjoon managed to sink his teeth into the hand on the human when he came near him.The human let out a yell as he pulled his arm away, holding the injured hand close to his face, seeing the blood beginning to drip from the teeth marks that the witch left with his sharp teeth. He cursed and took out his weapon, pointing a gun towards Namjoon who didn't even blink an eye.The human holding the gun received a warning from the other, reminding that they needed him alive and not dead. The gun pointed at him for a moment more, before being put away as the man cursed once more.Namjoon stayed still as his net was tied tightly against the carries sides, the humans making sure to tie the knots tight enough. The lack of moving from his end was not due to being scared or confused. He was only trying to come up with a plan in the meanwhile. He didn't have many options, seeing as he lost all of his weapons and wand. It he were to use his magic right now in the net, he would only burn himself like before and not be able to burn the thick ropes.He needed to wait for a better moment to try and escape, as he would not go along with these humans. He'd rather die than have to go through the same again that he did in the auction. He would not let these humans take him in as a prisoner and keep him as a mere pet. Namjoon could hear the humans speak of their plan, thinking of what way to go through as the forest had gotten so dark. The two were clearly new to the area and didn't know which way to take in the woods. This gave Namjoon more time to think before they would exit the forest. He was studying the two humans, trying to see if they held more weapons with them aside from guns. Namjoon couldn't really see from the back, only remembering that both of the men had guns as well as his wand and the dagger.Namjoon was just about to try and reach forward to try and see if he could grab onto anything from the horse in front of him that carried a lot of things on it's back. But he wasn't able to do that, as the said horse suddenly fell with a loud scream, one of the men riding it falling down with it. The carried fell when one of the two horses weren't pulling on it anymore, dropping Namjoon on the ground.The wounded horse took off running before he could see what had been the cause of the scare that the horse got. The remaining horse became nervous, screaming as it tried to get rid of the other human riding it. The horse was finally able to kick off the human riding it, sending him down to the ground as well.Both of the men collected themselves quickly, getting up and taking their guns out. Just like Namjoon did, the two of them looked around themselves frantically. They quickly took cover from the trees around them and looked around for the intruder who caused the horses to lose themselves.There was silence and nothing seemed to happen for a while. Namjoon didn't even dare to breathe as he was left on the ground without any cover. He feared that a new set of humans had noticed them travelling through the woods and wanted to rob whatever was inside the carrier that the men pulled. Perhaps there were multiple witch hunters scouting the area after everyone heard of the powerful witch Namjoon who escaped the castle and fled to the dark forest. Whatever the case might be, Namjoon knew that the current enemy was out to get the two humans as well, as a quick flying arrow flew out of the darkness and hit the one of the men on the side of their neck, sending them stumbling out of their cover.The man held out his gun pointlessly while one hand held onto the arrow pointing out of his neck in some attempt to make things better. This of course didn't do much and as the man decided to remove the sharp object from his flesh, following with a gush of blood from the fresh wound. The man stood still for a moment, looking at the detached arrow in horror and awe as his legs shook. Another arrow was enough to send him down to the ground, his skull cracking slightly when the hard metal hit it spot on.Namjoon closed his eyes and held his breath, the body of the man rolling slightly towards himself. This was followed by many gun shots by the remaining man. He was most likely shooting at any given direction, in the hopes of killing the intruder. Namjoon couldn't tell what eventually happened as he decided to keep his eyes closed the whole time, counting the seconds when the gunshots ended.His heart raced when silence came and he heard rustling near him coming from the bushes. Before he could even move, a gasping figure rushed to him.Namjoon opened his eyes in a hurry, trying to identify the cause of this all, surprised when he saw the familiar human.'Jimin.' Namjoon murmured as he watched the human cut open the net with some struggle. He bit into his lip, growling as he finally cut open the final rope, allowing the witch to free himself.Namjoon moved quickly, jumping free from the ropes and sending the Prince back a few steps, him sitting down on the ground looking exhausted. Namjoon saw the bow he had on his back, all his arrows used already.He gathered his breath, looking up at the witch, his hand shaking slightly as he moved it against his stomach.Namjoon watched as the Prince brought his hand back up, it covered in hot red blood that dripped down his clothes. Jimin moved, hissing as he closed his eyes.Namjoon swallowed hard as he looked back at the tired eyes looking for the witch.'Looks like you owe me one more favor.' The other smiled with trouble, sweat dropping down his face as he let his frame go limp after some struggle.Namjoon cursed underneath his breath, rushing to the humans side. He held the seemingly lifeless body in his hands and studied the wound on his stomach. Namjoon could easily recognize the bullet wound that was weeping blood on the Prince's clothes. Namjoon sighed as he removed his jacket and folded it against the wound, rapping it in place around the Prince's torso using the sleeves. Namjoon then hurriedly looked around himself.The two humans had been shot dead and were out of the picture. But that didn't mean that they were safe. The multiple gun shots would have alerted someone to come and see what had happened. Perhaps more humans would show up, or witches. Namjoon knew what would happen either way, as the humans would kill him and take the Prince and a witch would kill Jimin and then Namjoon for being found next to a human. He knew they needed to get away from here.Namjoon left the others side quickly, going to the fallen carrier and collecting his cane as well as his wand and other belongings from the humans. He rushed back to Jimin's side, taking his cane and placing it down with a spell, causing it to float slightly off of the ground. Namjoon cursed as he realized how difficult it would become to hold the other as well as fly, but he had no other choice. Well he did, and that would have been just to leave the Prince there and let him die alone like he would do to any other human, but Namjoon just couldn't bring himself to do that. Perhaps he was going crazy.Crazy or not, Namjoon somehow managed to position himself and the human on the floating cane, with him holding onto the others unconscious body. He held onto the other tightly as they took off flying into the star lit sky. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Jungkook crossed his arms as he stared at the many workers moving things in and out of the small church located next to the castle.There were candles and flowers moved inside the castle, while old decoration was moved out of the way. New covers for the chairs inside were hand made by tailors and placed on the many seats that would be filled with people in a matter of a week.Cleaners had been attacking the church for a few days now, getting rid of every spec of dust and cobweb that had formed there due to the church not being used in a while. The last ceremony held there was the old King's funeral, which left the church filled with useless crap that needed to be moved now. As Yoongi's coronation would take place soon.Jungkook tucked his hands inside of his pockets as he walked closer to the familiar royal church.He shared many memories with the old building. He recognized the place from his parents wedding photos as well as the place where he was baptized as a child. Funnily enough, he and neither of his parents were believers in God. It was just something that needed to be done as he too was a part of the royal bloodline.He also remembers the small church as a place of dark memories. His uncles funeral was still fresh in his mind, but so was the ceremony of his own father passing. Jungkook was very young at the time, but the experience was something that he could not forget even after all of those years.Due to the lack of religious believes in the royal family, the church was hardly ever used. The citizens of Solaria had their own places to practice their religion, so there was no need to keep the church open but only on special occasions. A coronation being one of them.Jungkook knew that Yoongi had been waiting for this day, with a nervous and heavy heart. The other always knew that this day would come, but still wished to make time go past slower. That never happened, and here they were.Jungkook has done everything that he can to help his cousin, but enough is enough. He knows that they have all had it rough ever since the old King fell ill, but there needs to be a time when someone dares to say that they cannot keep going anymore. Jungkook had found his limit while working as the only doctor, going from operation room to another and seeing every single patient. He was slowly but surely causing harm to himself and needed to step aside for a moment. He wouldn't have decided to do so by himself, but luckily there was someone else to make sure he wasn't over working himself to death.Jungkook watched to the side where he could see the small army of guards run across the field, weapons wrapped around them and faces cowered in dirt or whatever they spent the few days of practicing hunting in.Jungkook smiled as he saw the familiar figure that always helped him get through the day.Taehyung never complained about it out loud, but he was also struggling. After years and years of fighting for the castle and keeping it safe with his men, he too began to feel the aching joints and muscle. Fighting, killing and protecting the castle and the royals wasn't a job that everyone could do. You needed to have that special fire in your heart that allowed you to get up in the morning and repeat the awful things that a guard needed to do in the royal army. Jungkook never understood why the other kept on doing such a job, but he didn't need to.Taehyung was proud to fight for what he believed in and to protect the people that he loved and cared for. He has sacrificed himself and his health many times before in battle, almost losing himself. Jungkook remembers the times when the other came back from war in such shape that he wasn't sure if the other would still wake up the next day. That was the hardest part of loving Taehyung. Knowing that he might not come back to you even though he would like to.Jungkook spun the ring around his finger using his thumb, this being a nervous habit of his whenever he became anxious.Jungkook knew Taehyung loved him. And Jungkook felt the same about the other. But no matter how much Taehyung loved him, he would never be able to promise him that he would always return.Jungkook didn't want to hear the word always anymore, as he knew there would be no always when it came to him and Taehyung. The others love for his job and his country was so great. Perhaps on the same level as his love towards Jungkook, or even greater.Jungkook could never ask the other to leave his job, as he knew the other couldn't be happy without it. Taehyung needed to do what he knew the best and that was to be a leader. So Jungkook was alright with letting the other continue his loved job, as he wanted the other to be happy. But perhaps he has been loosing his own happiness by doing so.Every time Jungkook hears of another trip to the town or of another rescue mission in the forest, he becomes nervous. He fears the worst, which is that Taehyung won't come back running to him like he usually does, but instead he will be lying lifeless on top of the pile that the remaining soldiers bring with them, as all soldiers deserved a proper burial near the castle. But Jungkook wouldn't want that.He'd want to give Taehyung what the other always wished for, taking him somewhere quiet. Perhaps to a small farm with a lake that he always wanted when he would retire. There he could stay for the rest of time, and Jungkook would be able to visit him without the staring eyes of others.It is sad that someone needs to think of their loved one dying, but that has been the scary reality for Jungkook for many years already. And it never got any easier.The two of them have ended their relationship on many occasions before, as all the worrying and pain of being a part of each other just became too much. The staring eyes of the maids inside the castle and the rumors spreading to the other guards or their sinful relationship became dangerous for them. Violence and threatening was targeted towards both of them many times. When it all became too much to handle, it was time to put and end to it all.This never lasted for long, as it didn't take long before one of them couldn't just handle it anymore. Jungkook recalls the many times he opened his door to see the other stood there, looking hopeless and pitiful. If the pain that both of them experiences when being together and knowing that they won't be able to stay together for as long as they'd like was bad, then actually being a part of each other and not knowing where the other was felt just unbearable. Jungkook remembers the times clearly, when he would go meet the other back at the stables, while rain was pouring down from the sky as if it was mad.There were no words needed when the two held each other again, understanding why the other came and what they felt at the time. Pain, sadness and desperation. Taehyung would hide his face in the others chest, apologizing that things needed to be this way.Jungkook always just shook his head, knowing those words by memory by now.Taehyung didn't need to feel sorry nor should he apologize.Faith had given him the important job of keeping everyone safe, including Jungkook. He belonged in the army, holding his weapon and giving his all to the country he trusted and protected. He couldn't be anywhere else.And even when Jungkook felt bitter and sorry for himself, he knew he shouldn't get upset or sad. He had always known that Taehyung couldn't promise him a forever. So he should just learn to enjoy of the moments that they do have. Even when the thought of it made him break down on some nights when he didn't know where the other was.Loving a soldier would never be easy, as Jungkook has seen what it did to his mother and the countless more who came crying to the memorial ceremonies when a fight had ended. But it is what he has chosen to do as he fell in love with the tan skinned man when they were young. And he wouldn't change a thing, even when his heart hurts a little every time he has to say goodbye to the other. * Namjoon knew he had done some questionable things in the past. He had definitely done some things that would make others think weirdly of him and not do the same. But Namjoon was a curious cat who just needed to experiment, even with his own life.He had been captured many times and he had been beat many times more. He has been shocked by other witches spells and shot by humans. He has gone through physical and emotional pain, and yet he still searches for knew things that will eventually cause him more harm. Nanna had seen him go through all of these things, as the other always comes back home with his tails between his legs, looking pitiful and sorry. She would just laugh and hit the other on the top of his head at most. She understood that the young witch needed to find himself and the things that he needed in order to survive in life. She would never try to baby him or keep him safe underneath her wings, as she knew the best way for the curious witch was to learn things for himself. It was the way she was taught and how she taught Namjoon's father and now him.But she never expected this from the young witch.Nanna was woken up from her peaceful slumber by a odd sound on the front yard of the cottage. She immediately jumped from her bed, with slight trouble, waking up the cat sleeping on the end of the bed and getting up to see what was going on in such hours. She firstly of course grabbed her cane and wand before exiting through the door. By the sound of it, she had expected to see a fallen tree or some type of animal lying on the yard, but instead she saw his own grandson lying on the ground, with a mysterious traveling partner. Nanna had seen it all, and could easily identify the person as a human.She looked at the other witch with a confused look before hurrying to their side with a slight limp, leaning against her cane.Namjoon quickly got up from the ground where he and the human apparently crashed after flying on his cane. By the looks of it, the human was injured and unconscious. 'He was shot.' Namjoon murmured as he reached down and took a hold of the human, lifting him up by his arms. He struggled for a moment before taking a good hold of the other and carrying him towards the cottage. Nanna quickly opened the door and led the two to the bed where Namjoon placed the seemingly lifeless body of the human male.Nanna gasped as she saw the face of the human, light showing her his face properly.She turned to Namjoon and looked at him for a moment. 'Did you hurt the Prince?' She then asked, confusing Namjoon as to why his grandmother could recognize the man as a Prince just like that, having never seen him. Namjoon shook his head quickly.'His blood is that of a royal.' Nanna murmured, quickly gathering supplies on top of the bed, lining up different salves and potions. A cat hissed in the background, seeing the human in the cabin. She wobbled around a bit, searching for something. Namjoon stepped aside as he decided he would not be of any good help in this situation. He made space for his grandmother, allowing her to collect the other supplies that she needed. Namjoon swallowed deeply as he saw the set of long pliers being placed next to the human.Nanna began to hum as she moved back to Jimin, her eyes closed and mouth moving silently with an unknown spell. Namjoon stayed aside and watched closely.She placed her hovering hand on top of the wound, as if to see the area better. She moved her fingers with a rhythm, giving light to the area with a spell. Namjoon looked with fascination. 'The object needs to be removed in order to save his poor soul.' Nanna whispered, eyes closed and face stuck in a frown. Namjoon knew of her powers and being able to see past and future and the ability of being able to take someone else's body in her own command. She could feel his pain.Namjoon looked away for a second, seeing his Nanna reach for the pliers. But he turned back, wanting to see how she handled such a situation. But he stood in shock instead, as he saw his Nanna stand in front of him with the pliers instead.'You must do it.' She spoke, placing the pliers in his hand. 'It's the only way he'll survive.'Namjoon stayed still for a moment, then shaking his head. 'I cannot. He is a human and i cannot save his life because he is-''Because what?' His Nanna spoke, interrupting him. 'Because he is a human?' She asked, looking back at the human and then back at his grandson.Namjoon stayed still before letting his head fall down. 'I cannot save a human after what they did.' He murmured, looking away from his grandmother. 'Have you forgotten what they did to our family? Our kind?' Namjoon silently asked, staring at the ground as his hands began to shake with anger.'Grandmother, have you forgotten what they did to your own son and my sweet mother?' He growled, shoulders shaking and purple eyes looking back at the other. He didn't mean to sound so daring and angry, but he could not handle himself at the moment. He felt anger boiling in his chest and tears pool in his eyes. He was losing himself to the anger, not seeing properly.'I have not.' Nanna sighed, lips wobbling with a silent cry. 'And i never will forget.' She reminded the other, lifting her shaking finger up and pointing towards the bed. 'But this child has nothing to do with any of the things that you just said.''This human was not the one to murder our family and our kind. And you know that.' She murmured, tears falling down her wrinkled face. 'He is not the murderer you are trying to make him be. He will die a painful death if he is left as he is now.' She reminded the other.Namjoon swallowed, shaking his head. 'I cannot. I can't save him.' He murmured, closing his eyes.There was silence for a moment, both of them standing still as seconds passed.'Then why bring him here?' His grandmother whispered, placing her hand on Namjoon's shoulder. 'Why not just let the human die and leave him there?'Namjoon let out a laugh, shaking his head. 'I don't know Nanna. I can't answer that, because i don't know.''But you do know.' She then said, pointing her finger against Namjoon's chest. 'You couldn't leave him there because of a reason. And i do not need to know that reason.' She spoke, taking out the pliers again. 'I just want you to know that reason for yourself. The reason behind deciding to spare him and deciding to bring him here. There is a reason, but you need to realize it for yourself first.' She murmured, placing the cold metal in his hands.Namjoon looked down at his dirty hands, grabbing the pliers tightly and standing still. He nodded his head. He let out a choked sound, turning towards the bed.Nanna sighed once, moving slightly away to the side. Namjoon made his way to the bed, looking at the human once and twice before turning to the wound in his stomach.Why did he do it?Why didn't he just kill the human when he had the chance inside the castle?Why didn't he finish the job when he met the other again in the forest?Why did he bring him here when he could have just let him die to his injuries?Because he saw kindness in the other, and it terrifies him.Namjoon couldn't understand the other. The human helped him, a witch out of the kindness in his own heart even when he hurt the other multiple times. Namjoon couldn't understand why the other came and saved him from the humans. Why did the human sacrifice his own life just to save a dirty witch like him? He was so confused and scared. Scared because he didn't know how to feel about the other. Namjoon felt as if he had no other choice but to save the other. Except that he did have another choice, and that was to let the other die. But he could not do that. Namjoon simply just could not let the other die, not after everything that happened.He bit onto his bottom lip, hands shaking as he removed the remaining clothing covering the wound. He took a deep breath in, listening as his grandmother moved in the back.Nanna moved to her black cat, taking him in her lap and placing her hands on top of the small ears on top of his head. Nanna closed her eyes, listening to the quietness for a moment. That silence was suddenly broken by the ear screeching noise that came from the Prince's mouth as the pliers were placed deep into his skin.The sound was a desperate cry, breaking the nights silence in a moment. It only lasted for a moment but it rang in Namjoon's ears as he threw the bullet to the ground with the pliers.Nanna watched quietly as Namjoon stumbled back and wiped the sweat off of his forehead, smearing blood on his skin. She came from behind him, scaring the other slightly as he placed a hand on his shoulder- making him jump on his place.'You did the right thing.' She murmured. 'This will be the first step in learning to forgive and let go.' She spoke and moved to the bed, looking at the Prince who had been awake just a second ago but had fallen back to unconsciousness.'You'll be able to let go of that anger in your heart and move on.' She sung, taking out the necessary things to continue healing the human. 'Even though you don't want to forgive and move on right now, you'll realize how important that will be in the future.'Even though in shock, Namjoon still managed to shake his head. 'I'll never forgive the humans.'There was a sad smile decorating his grandmothers lips as she began healing the wound, potions and magic healing the bleeding wound quickly.'I know you wont right now.' She whispered. 'But perhaps you can begin with him.'Namjoon stared at the seemingly emotionless face of the human. The Prince looked so much different when he wasn't either pouting or grinning at him like some crazy fool. Namjoon never understood why the human thought it would be a smart idea to play with his life like that, joking around a witch like him. Perhaps the Prince did not fear anything and wanted to play with the witch. He succeeded with that. Namjoon's emotions have been going through a roller coaster for the past few days. He wants nothing more than to be able to hate this human just as much as everyone else. But he can't. Something in his head was making it impossible for him to feel such a thing. Perhaps the human who was fascinated by witches had learned a way to make potions and had used it on him at some point. Perhaps Namjoon was just under a spell that made him not able to hurt the human, as he for sure knew he had been able of doing harm to him before. But not anymore.This human was different. Namjoon could not kill the Prince, even when he knew he had to. For all his life, Namjoon has prepared himself for a moment like this; to be able to kill a human with power. Who could be more powerful than a royal?He has encountered the human multiple times and has been presented with the opportunity to end the others life. But he has failed.Namjoon sat down onto the ground in desperation, ignoring the look from his grandmother.Namjoon knew what he had done. He had failed his father and mother and countless siblings who share the same race as him. As a witch, he feels like he has done the biggest crime that there is.He feels like a traitor, who does not deserve to be called the great witch doctors son, as he has failed that man. He let down his own mother who he swore he would revenge for because of her painful death. But he could not do that.All those years that he spent learning magic and spells just so he could finally get his revenge, were wasted. He could no longer harm a human, because of the damned Prince that cursed him. Namjoon felt useless. What good was he now when he could no longer use his magic for what it was intended?'My child.' Nanna murmured once she was done with healing the Prince, coming over to her grandson. 'You have not failed them, nor are you useless.' She spoke and sat across him on a chair, it creaking underneath her weight.'I have nothing left.' Namjoon murmured, letting himself fall deeper into his self pity. 'If i cannot revenge for their deaths then how will i bring them peace? They died for nothing.'Instead of receiving pity from her like he expected, Namjoon was surprised to see a smile spread on his grandmothers face.'I believe you just gave them their long awaited peace.' She murmured, her shaky hands reaching inside her pocket. From there she took a familiar pendant that she had been holding onto for ages that Namjoon remembers from a young age. He usually became angry and looked away from the thing, as Namjoon knew what the thing held inside it.But this time Namjoon looked. He looked as Nanna opened the rusty old thing and revealed a set of pained portraits. 'You look just like him.' Nanna murmured and swiped a thumb over one of the old pictures covered in fractured glass. 'And she looks beautiful, as always.'Namjoon stared, seeing the pictures held in Nanna's hands. It had been a while since he last saw the pictures, bringing back memories.Nanna sighed, looking up from the pendant. 'They never wanted revenge.' She spoke, squeezing the closed pendant in her hands. 'They wanted you to find peace in your heart with what happened.''What your father taught you was never meant to be used as a way to fight and kill the ones who hurt you. They were meant to be used as a way to help you fight for what you believe in, and we all know murder is not what you were after.' Namjoon listened to his grandmother speak, letting his head fall down in confusion and shame. When he closed his eyes, he could see the two familiar faces in front of him that he missed oh so much.His grandmother caught his attention when he felt warmth spread near him. He opened his eyes to see a blue glow all around the room.Nanna held up a hand that had a blue flame coming out of it with magic. He looked with wide eyes at the rare sight of blue fire.'Magic is a beautiful thing when you use it right.' Nanna spoke, fingers moving and the flame following her like a servant. 'It cannot be driven by hate or it will take over you, taking you out with it.' She murmured, closing her hand and killing the flame in a second, leaving Namjoon blinking his eyes.Nanna moved closer, finger pressing up against his chest and looking at him with a slight smirk. 'That horribly hollow feeling in your chest?' She asked, her smile spreading wider. 'That is the feeling of letting go of your hateful grudge. You have been holding onto that for a long time.' She said, tapping her finger against Namjoon's pounding chest. When that finger moved away, Namjoon placed his own palm against his chest instead.'I feel cold.' He spoke, looking up at the other. She nodded her head.'It is only normal, as you have been feeling the heat of your hate for many many years. It is time to give your poor heart a chance to cool and calm down.' She explained, moving from her chair with a groan as her back let out a small pop sound.She walked to the door and opened it, letting in some cold air. She grabbed a coat and her wand, looking back at Namjoon who sat still, quite confused to why the other was going outside in such a weather.'Well, what are you waiting for?' She laughed. 'We have been waiting long enough for this day to come. It is time to finally teach you the ways of a great witch and my spells. We have been wasting enough time already and the Prince needs proper rest.'Namjoon stayed still for a moment before jumping up, looking at his grandmother for a moment as if to see if she was just joking with him. It had been years and years that Namjoon had spent asking the other if she would finally teach him and the answer was always no, and that he was not ready.Namjoon could not understand what she had meant back then. After all, he was of age and knew how to fight and how to create spells and magic. He brought home the things that he managed to steal from humans and sometimes even brought home proof of him killing the enemies. But she was never impressed, and he could not understand why. He did everything that a witch was supposed to do, but she always insisted that he was not ready to learn her greatest spells.Namjoon thinks he finally understands it all. His magic has always been driven by hate and revenge that lived in his mind and heart. His magic was powerful thanks to this and made him known. But it was dangerous as he was playing with his life.Magic lives together with the witch in the body that they own. One cannot overpower the other as that would end in the death of both parts. A witch could not live without their magic, not could the magic overcome the witch without ruining itself.Namjoon could have never learned the powerful magic that his Nanna knew, as it would have been the death of him due to the anger he held in himself. His Nanna did the right thing for waiting all these years, even though he never understood the reason behind it.But he does now.As if a huge weight had been lifted off of his chest, Namjoon moved with light feet and a clear mind. He felt neutral and blank, which was an odd feeling for him.His heart ached slightly and he felt emotional the first time in a long time. He could not remember the last time that he felt such a way, letting himself feel such emotions after a long time.He had always been so stuck on letting himself only act tough and cold around others, making a few exceptions around his Nanna, but only rarely. Whatever was lifted off of his chest had truly been holding him back, as Namjoon let out a laugh of a crazy man when he stood outside in the cold, Nanna smiling widely as she looked at him.She smiled, knowing that he was finally free. Free from the hate that had swallowed his heart and mind for all these years.There was a time when she feared that he would never come back, but she was supported by invisible spirits guiding her way. They knew that Namjoon would come back at some time and gave her the strength to keep her faith in the other. The wait was worth it, every moment of it.She got her grandson back, and the two faces on her pendant were able to smile for the first time in years. * Hoseok felt the wind against his face, the rain hitting him and making him close his eyes for a moment. But he opened them again quickly, jumping high with a growl and feeling his wolf form love the feeling of being able to run like this again.He ran faster, his paws hitting the wet ground hard and his hot breath creating steam that lingered around for a second until disappearing into the cold air.Hoseok enjoyed this moment, being able to run without a destination again. He couldn't remember the last time that he had an opportunity like this. He didn't need to fear being hunted by humans, as he ran in the protected royal forest with guards all around it. He could howl and growl as much as he wanted, letting out all the frustration that had collected over the weeks of staying inside. He honestly felt as if he would have gone crazy if he wouldn't have gotten an opportunity like this.This feeling was truly worth the wait.He was out of breath and feeling exhausted after his long run, but it felt good. It felt good to feel the strain on his feet and legs again and to be able to feel his fur get wet from the snow. He felt electric, and wanted to continue running and to let out all that energy that he had kept inside of him for all this time. He wanted to become exhausted so he could enjoy a good night sleep the next night.Every now and then he would see a couple of guards walking along the woods, making sure that no one had entered the royal forest who wasn't allowed in there. Hoseok was made an exception by the King himself.Taehyung had told Yoongi of his plan of wanting to let the werewolf run free in the woods and help the guards, and the other was fond of his idea. So Hoseok was given the chance to transform and run freely as long as he would like, and the guards could see him and learn how a werewolf moved- as most of the new guards hadn't even ever seen what a werewolf looked like in the wild. It was a win win situation, and Hoseok wasn't complaining.He got to do whatever he wanted while the guards just did their own thing and sometimes watched him. He didn't mind, as he was too busy running and smelling the outside world for the first time in a while.Since werewolves can communicate through their minds in their wolf form, Hoseok was curious to see if he could hear someone else while in his wolf form. The thought of knowing that there were others like him out there who were still free made him feel excited to transform, but once he did he was quite disappointed. He heard no body.He called out and howled, wanting to know if there was anyone out there. And his alpha howl would have been heard in a long distance, but he received no answer. There were no wolves near the Solaria area, and he wasn't surprised.Hoseok was sure that the news of the black market had already spread like a wildfire. Every wolf who still stayed near Solaria and it's woods had surely moved by now, or they had been captivated. Hoseok wished for the first option, and that the other wolves had truly moved away and were safe.Knowing that there was no other wolves near him made him feel safer and also more alone. As an alpha he didn't need any other alphas and betas swarming around him, but he also needed some company as he was a pack animal. The need for a mate had always been on his mind and it never really left. Especially since mating season was approaching them fast. A wolf traveling alone was a dead one, like he had always been told. For his whole life, Hoseok had someone near him or next to him to support him and keep him company. First it was his father, then his other pack mates. Now without them, he no longer feels the same. Remembering the times when you had someone who you could always turn to were painful to him. He wished that he could go back to the times when he still had that someone, but time was unstoppable and couldn't be turned back. Hoseok knew he didn't have a companion right now, but he was hopeful for the future. He knew he wasn't alone, and that there still were others like him out there, though not near. He would need to search far and wide to find a fellow werewolf, but he would do it someday. Right now he is still needed here in the castle. Leaving would be foolish and dangerous at the moment as the new laws were still in the making and not put to use quite yet. And when they would be told to the humans in Solaria, Hoseok still isn't expecting a quick turn to the best. In fact he knows that things will firstly turn to the worst.There was no way that the humans would take the new rules kindly and there would be protests. But Hoseok had hope. He was hopeful that King Yoongi knew what he was doing and that he would take care of such situations. Hoseok had grown fond of the young King who cared for him and others.Hoseok had firstly joked of the Kings and the fairies dinner date, saying it would lead to something. But it truly began to seem as if his joke was becoming something more serious.When Hoseok finally had enough of running in the woods, he returned back to the gates and the front of the castle, seeing the familiar kind face of Jin waiting there.Hoseok leaped forward, forgetting his current form for a second as he attempted to get close to the fairy. He quickly realized that he was still in his wolf form and took a step back. Jin only smiled as he watched the wolf back off a bit before quickly transforming before him.'You're scaring the maids.' The fairy laughed, quickly handing the wolf a towel to cover himself because of his bare self. Hoseok looked to his side, seeing a group of young maids going inside the castle with hands covering their mouths and letting out small yelps as they held onto each other like little school girls. Hoseok let out a small laugh.He dried his wet hair, skin still wet and hot from his run. He was feeling tired and worn out, but loved the feeling. He followed the fairy to a near bench on the side of the castle wall, both sitting down on the wooden bench and taking a breather.Hoseok threw on the rest of his clothes, ignoring the stares from the guards who were going past with mean looks on their faces. Hoseok guessed that humans weren't so used to nudity and didn't really enjoy seeing it like that. One more way to annoy them.Hoseok was still breathing hard, sweat dropping down his hairline and back every now and then. He needed a good bath quickly, but wanted to cool of a bit in the cold weather a bit first. He enjoyed being able to be outside like this again, and feared going back inside in case he wouldn't be let outside again, which seemed unreal but also very possible.Hoseok looked to his side and at Jin, who seemed to be in deep thought.Hoseok looked back to in front of him, stretching his legs and letting his shoes dig into the soft ground. It was still new to be wearing shoes, but he understood their meaning now that he spent more time in his human form. He looked at the pair of naked feet next to him and wondered what it would feel like for the fairy to put on the same pair of leather shoes that he wore, and if he felt the cold radiating from the ground.The fairy hid his wings underneath a blanket that was decorated with different symbols and markings. Perhaps the fairy decorated it himself with his own language and markings. It looked beautiful and Hoseok could see that it was important to the other as he grabbed it tightly with his two hands.'Have you flown yet?' Hoseok then asked, turning to the other.Jin was quiet for a moment before shaking his head slightly. 'No, i haven't.' He smiled and played with the decorated edges of his blanket, fingers pulling on the loose strings.Hoseok swallowed, throat feeling dry due to his previous run. 'How come? We were given permission to visit the outside and do as he wished. You can fly all you want.' Hoseok spoke, wanting to support the other and to let him know that he was given permission to be free.Jin nodded his head. 'I know that.' He then said, turning to the other. 'It is just that i want to save my flight for a different time, seeing as the weather is so horrible.' Jin murmured, looking up to the sky that was pouring down huge snowflakes that melted even before they could hit the ground. It was cold but also wet. Hoseok nodded his head as he understood why the other wouldn't want to fly in such weather. Even he felt slightly unpleasant as the cold wind and snow his hit face while running in the cover of the trees, so he could only imagine what the wind would feel like above the trees.'I see.' Hoseok coughed, starting to feel the effects of the cold on his body as he began to calm down. 'I hope that better weather will come soon.' He smiled, turning to the other.Jin smiled back, ruffling the others wet hair with his hand. 'You should go back inside and warm yourself.' The fairy reminded the other who agreed with him.'Will you come as well?' Hoseok asked as he got up from his seat and began to head towards the door leading inside the castle.Jin waited for a moment before shaking his head. 'No, i'll spend a bit more outside.' He told the other who looked worried for a second before nodding his head. Jin knew the other would get worried over the tiniest thing so he told the other he would go back inside soon.'I just want to see the big forest for a moment, to see if i could learn anything from the trees.' Jin explained, making the wolf seem way more comfortable.'Alright, i'll see you then.' Hoseok smiled to the other before taking off, feeling way more comfortable now that he knew that Jin would be safe even without him. He couldn't help but feel nervous when he didn't know where the other was, as he only knew him out of everyone around him at the moment. Hoseok had no one else who to turn to, and he couldn't help but seem like a lost puppy every time Jin told him he would be somewhere else. Hoseok was trying to get rid of this way of thinking, but he always came back to worrying and wondering about the other. Jin knew this as he saw the way the other looked at him, like a worried sibling who wanted to protect him. Perhaps the alpha had taken him in to his imaginary pack and wanted to make sure he was alright. Jin didn't mind this, as it felt nice actually. He enjoyed knowing that he was cared for by the wolf and protected.But Jin still knew there were some things he needed and wanted to do alone. So as Hoseok disappeared inside the castle, Jin got up from his seat and began moving towards the woods near the forest. * Yoongi had many things to deal with at the moment. He was currently told to stay still as a seamstress took measurements of him to finish of his clothes for the coronation, that would be held in a few days. Yoongi was nervous, tapping his foot against the floor as his imagination ran wild in his head.There were so many things that he still needed to do, and he had so little time.The constant words of marriage and weddings were ringing in his ears due to his advisers speaking of the topic all the time, even when he ordered them to leave the topic alone when they were with him. He did not need to hear about another thing that would make him feel anxious and horrible. He already had so many things to do that adding a wedding and marriage in there as well would just make him go crazy. His advisers always reminded him that he would only need to participate in the wedding, as they would take care of the rest- from finding his partner to marrying her to him. That sounded just so awful and wrong.Yoongi always pushed the subject away, wanting to protect what he had left of his mental health. He did not have the time and strength to be talking about things like forced marriages. He did not want to be a part of such a thing and didn't want any poor girl to be thrown in there as well. Yoongi was in a place in his life right now that he couldn't even eat and sleep properly, not to even mention the fact that he should be getting married and think about his future family. He would die of exhaustion or because he completely lost his mind.He sighed, hearing the seamstress murmur out something about this lasting for a moment more. Yoongi knew he should be hurrying to another meeting soon, but he enjoyed this moment for some reason. He got to stay away from his guards and advisers for a moment, and being alone with no sound for a few minutes like this felt like heaven to his continuous headache.But even when he would have loved to tell the seamstress to relax and take all the time that she needed, Yoongi knew he could not waste time like this. There were even bigger worries in his mind that he needed to take care of, as the words of what a guard had told him last night rang in his ears. 'He lost him.' The royal guard kneeling in front of him said, head down and pointed towards the ground as he hugged his helmet.Yoongi blinked a few times, confused to what the young guard meant by this. He asked the guard to repeat himself and also to raise himself from the floor.The guard stepped around in place nervously for a second, tongue going over his dry lips like a nervous habit. He avoided his eyes, looking at anywhere else but Yoongi. The other understood why as soon as the guard explained what had happened.'The royal spy who was in charge of looking out for Prince Jimin, lost him last night.' The young guard murmured out, bowing down deeply as he waited for Yoongi's response. But the other couldn't say a thing.Yoongi was shocked, but not surprised. Even when he wanted to trust Jimin and hope that everything would be alright, he always had a feeling deep down that something would go wrong. Perhaps it was because of his big brother instincts that always came up when dealing with his brother. So no, this was no surprise, but it was still horrifying to hear the news. Yoongi then proceeded to ask the guard where he got this information from, and where the spy had gone after failing his job- only to hear that the coward had fled after bringing in his news. No one had seen him since he fled the castle with his dark horse, escaping to the woods. Yoongi knew it would be a useless trip to try and find him, as the royal spies were difficult to find and almost impossible. And instead of focusing on finding the spy, he now needed people to go and find his brother.Yoongi received all the information that he could get from the guard who spoke with the spy. With that information, came little to none that he could use to help and order guards to go find his brother.It would have been easy if Jimin had been on his horse or traveling by foot, but what the guard told him left him surprised and shocked. His brother was last seen wounded and travelling on a witches broom.Yoongi should have known never to let the other go alone like this. Now his brother was in danger of losing his life- if he was still alive somehow. The fear of what happened to the other to make him become injured made him afraid for the other. The extent of his injuries where never told as the spy had not seen the damage that had been done, but by his words: the Prince needed to be lifted on top of the broom and seemed 'lifeless'. That was enough to make Yoongi fall into rage and worry.As soon as he had received the news, he put together and ordered a group of guards together with the help of Taehyung. That small group left the castle only hours after receiving their order to go and track down the witch who took his brother. Yoongi just hoped it wasn't too late.The location of Jimin was unknown, and the location where he was last seen was still a mystery to them, as the spies words had been slurred and unsure. They didn't know where to start or where to begin looking, but Yoongi knew that they couldn't waste anymore time just by doing nothing. They needed to do everything that they could to try and get his brother back home safely.But everyone was unsure to where to begin, and he understood that. Taehyung didn't promise miracles and he couldn't believe in one. Yoongi just wanted to believe in the best outcome possible, but it seemed almost impossible at the moment.In times of need and desperation, Yoongi saw the light and hope if the shape of a kind fairy who showed up to his door the following evening. * Jin should have just stayed out of it and not made a big deal out of himself, but here he was, sitting in front of the King who he knew was desperate for help.Rumors spread like wildfire inside the castle so it didn't take long before Jin heard of the younger Prince's disappearance. He was worried at first and didn't think he could do anything to help the royals, but his previous trip to the woods told him differently.Earlier that day when he visited the local forest and communicated with the trees nearby him, he could tell there was a nervous aura around him. Like the trees wanted to tell him something but he couldn't understand what that something was. Jin left the forest that morning, feeling unsure and on the edge. It was almost as if he had known that there would he bad news coming his way, so he wasn't surprised when he first heard the news of Prince Jimin.The trees knew more than you could ever imagine. The forest's around Solaria worked together, with the roots of the trees connecting and creating a big union together. Fairies like Jin and other creatures used that union to communicate and learn from the trees and what they saw. Jin could see through the trees eyes and feel it's pain. He could tell that the Prince had experienced pain and he knew where he was last seen thanks to the trees.Out of everyone, he knew what to do. But not all believed him.'My King, do not trust this creature so easily.' An adviser spoke after Jin had explained his reason to come and show up at the King's door. 'The fairy might seem like they have good intentions but they are a master of hoax. His words cannot be trusted.' The old adviser spoke, his weak hand lifting and pointing straight at Jin like he was some kind of thief.Jin stayed quiet for a moment, looking at the old man and then at Yoongi.'I can assure you, that i am not lying, nor a thief.' He murmured. 'If i were feeling suicidal, then of course i would walk in here to tell you lies. But i am not, and wish to fight for my life and rights. I am only doing what my heart tells me to, and that is to help you find the lost Prince.' Jin explained, ignoring the advisers around the King who all shook their heads and began to murmur.'You know, that i am the only one who can tell you his exact location.' Jin pleaded, looking straight at Yoongi. 'I can save him.'The advisers laughed, even ordering a guard to step closer in order to remove him from the room. But Jin didn't react to this, he just kept his eyes on Yoongi who looked back at him in silence.He knew the other trusted him and knew of his powers. The King knew Jin well enough to be able to trust him, so he had no doubt that the other would come to his senses, and sure enough he soon ordered his advisers to quiet down and for the guard to back away who had already taken a hold of Jin.'I trust you.' Yoongi then spoke, his advisers staying quiet. 'Out of everyone in this entire castle, i trust you the most. As i know of your intentions and character. I know you are a kind person who came here because you want to help. And i appreciate that greatly.'Jin nodded his head, swallowing down a lump in his throat. The touch of the guard still lingered on his skin where he touched him on his arm, grasp tight and most likely causing a bruise to form later. Jin could see the difference in Yoongi. Now being surrounded by his guards and advisers, the other seemed more cold and careful with his words. He no longer sounded sincere and more like he had learned how to say all of these things before from a book, like he most likely did.Jin didn't like seeing this Yoongi, but preferred the one who smiled and made tiny jokes when speaking with the fairy. Jin could notice the other being uncomfortable and tight as he sat in his chair, worry written all over his face as the thought of his brother stayed in his mind. Jin wanted to take that worry away.'I can find him.' Jin then assured the other. 'But i will need your help.' He added.Yoongi nodded his head. 'Whatever you need, i will provide you with it.' Jin then shook his head, closing his eyes for a moment. Yoongi looked confused, staring at the fairy in front of him.'I need only one thing, and it may be difficult to get in a situation like this.' Jin then explained, lifting his eyes back to the other. Yoongi stayed quiet and waited as the other spoke, eager to hear what he had to say. Whatever it may be, Yoongi would be willing to do it to save his brother.Jin stayed quiet for a moment, eyes travelling from the guards to the advisers and back to Yoongi. He cleared his throat and just said it, not wanting to waste anymore time by staying quiet.'I need you to company me in the forest, and help me communicate with the trees.' Jin then explained, receiving funny looks and a few laughs among the advisers. He even heard the; 'he must he crazy' comments as they did not believe in his ability to communicate with the forest. Jin ignored those comments and kept his eyes on Yoongi.'I will do whatever you need me to.' The other spoke, leaving a few advisers speechless. The ones who weren't speechless did voice out their opinion about Jin's plan.'A King cannot participate in black magic. It will be dangerous and the people will hear about this.' One adviser spoke, placing a hand on Yoongi's shoulder.'The fairy is only lying, so they can get you to join them in a spell and take over you and your kingdom. They cannot be trusted.' Another one spoke out as well, making Yoongi turn to their direction.Jin was beginning to boil with anger. He had enough of wasting time and staying still for so long. They needed to act fast in order to save the Prince. But instead they were just listening to the advisers complain like small children. This wasn't going anywhere and Jin needed to act fast.Jin moved his wings in a way that created light and dust in the room, bringing everyone's attention towards himself as the light and sparkling dust flew around him. In seconds it was gone, almost as if it never happened.'Time is running out, and i do not want to stay and watch you childishly argue while the Prince is out there somewhere injured.' Jin spoke, voice now raised and pointed towards the advisers who still seemed shocked to see magic inside the castle and performed in front of the King. Instead of saying anything more, Jin waited for the others response and got one quickly. Yoongi got up from his seat and ordered the advisers to move, he then made his way next to Jin.'Like i said, i will do whatever you need me to.' He spoke, Jin recognizing a familiar smile he had seen on the others face before.It was calming, seeing a look like that on the others face after a while and in such a situation. Even though he was worried and unsure, the other still managed to smile and trust Jin even when everyone else was against him.Everything else was unknown right now, but one thing was for sure. Yoongi could trust Jin and that was all that mattered. With one order to his guards and advisers, he told them to stay back no matter what. The two of them left the castle and ventured outside and to the nearby forest, their way lit up by Jin's magic that Yoongi looked at with big fascination. Jin had expected the other to find time to do this sometime tomorrow as he was so busy, but Jin should have known that Yoongi would follow him immediately after hearing his plan as he cared for his brother so much.The King had no problem following him into the forest alone and doing as he was told, even when everyone else would be at least slightly scared to go into a forest at night. Perhaps the other was just so desperate or truly trusted him enough to go all the way like this.Whatever the reason might be, Jin didn't think too much of it. He already felt odd enough having the human following him like this and knowing that he would soon perform a spell together with him, which he had never done before with anyone other than a fairy.It was actually against the rules to perform magic with a human and could have lead to him being abandoned from his family of fairies, but he no longer needed to worry about that. And he had already broken enough rules so what could one more do?Jin walked through the woods, Yoongi following him right behind him as the two of them made their way deeper into the forest.It was at some point that Jin realized how odd this truly was, with him leading the King to someplace that he did not know. 'I previously visited this forest and found a tree that seemed very out of place before when i communicated with them. It seemed like they had something to tell me but i just couldn't see what that something was.' Jin explained as he took careful steps forward in the cold moss underneath his feet. 'It all became clear to me when i heard of the news. They wanted to tell me about Jimin.'Yoongi hummed behind him, finding this all very fascinating and interesting. He might not know it, but he will become the first human in centuries to perform a spell with a fairy. Jin couldn't tell if it was bigger deal for him or the other. Most likely it was him who was more nervous.Yoongi couldn't tell how long they had been walking for when they finally came to a stop. He could no longer see the lights coming from the castle or hear the sounds of the nearby village. They were deep in the woods and he felt surprisingly calm, which he shouldn't be when thinking about the situation.He was the King, who was alone in the woods with a creature who should be dangerous. But he knew Jin was everything else but dangerous. The fairy wanted to help him and was willing to do whatever it took to bring back his brother.Jin didn't need to do any of this. He could have just stayed quiet and let him figure this out on his own and have the rescue operation last way longer than it needed to. But Jin couldn't just watch from the side as things continued to stretch out and last for ages. The fairy knew he could help and wanted to. And Yoongi would never forget that. They finally made it to the spot that Jin was previously talking about, as the two of them stepped in front of a big tree in the middle of the forest, that was surrounded by other smaller trees in a shape that almost resembled a circle.Yoongi looked in awe at the big tree that looked like it had lived for more than he could ever imagine. The tree was old, and it's long branches that were covered in snow hung over a big area, creating a cover around it. Jin took a seat underneath the tree, waiting for Yoongi to join him.'Trees like this are known to be used as communication by the creatures. It is large and has many other trees growing near it. It is perfect for seeing through the forest and speaking with others.' Jin explained as he cleaned away the packed snow away from the bark of the tree, exposing the old surface.Yoongi had heard of communication through trees before, but he never knew how it happened as he only read about it in books. He was both exited and nervous, but he sat down eagerly as he wanted to experience the magic that Jin was about to show him.Yoongi watched as Jin placed his hand on top of the bark, closing his eyes and falling silent for a moment. Yoongi saw the way that he bark that Jin was touching began to glow underneath his hand, golden light shining around them like magic. Jin's wings began to glow as well, the magic spreading from him to the tree and back to himself like they were connected. Yoongi watched as small river like veins of golden light traveled across the fairies skin, connecting with the tree.Jin's eyebrows furrowed as he concentrated, only to fail. He shook his head and let go of the tree, the light once surrounding him disappearing like it never even was there to begin with. 'It won't tell me.' Jin murmured, looking at his hand like there should be something there.'Is that why you think you need my help?' Yoongi then asked, looking at the tree in front of him. 'Do you think it will communicate with us if i am here as well?''It is a big stretch.' Jin murmured. 'But i have ran out of ideas by now. There is something that the tree wants to tell me, but wont. I believe you being here could help, as it is your brother who we are searching for.'Yoongi nodded his head, looking at Jin.Jin looked back at him for a moment before swallowing deeply and reaching out to grab Yoongi's hand. 'Magic is a powerful thing and it will not feel pleasant.' Jin murmured, opening the closed hand that he held.Without even noticing it himself, Yoongi held his breath as the fairy held his hand like the most delicate thing ever.'It will travel though your every vein and nerve, searching for a reason to let you speak with the tree. It can accept you, or it can decide to ignore you.' Jin spoke as he placed a finger to the middle of Yoongi's palm. Yoongi stayed still and let the other touch him, not wanting to interrupt anything.Jin stayed still for a moment before closing his eyes. Yoongi felt warmth spread through his palm, seeing light travel inside his skin and radiate out.'Only a kind heart can handle the magic of a fairy.' Jin then spoke, eyes still closed and voice low like a hum. 'You were to experience create pain and suffering if you had done harm to me before, but you cannot feel the pain as you have stayed kind.'Yoongi cleared his throat, carefully speaking out. 'Not even after i captured you and held you in chains? After all that i am still not able to feel the pain of your magic?'Jin opened his eyes, his magic stopping in a heartbeat. He looked at the human with his dark eyes and Yoongi felt like he was drowning in them.'No not even after that.' Jin murmured, thumb smoothing over the skin of the others hand. 'Because even after all that my foolish heart has decided to forgive you and isn't able to think otherwise.'Yoongi stayed quiet, watching the other closely as he looked down at their connected hands. Even in the cold night of the beginning spring, the other still managed to make him feel warm.'Then i have no fear.' Yoongi then spoke, folding his fingers around the hand he was holding onto. 'If not the pain then neither can the thought of seeing what this tree has to tell me can make me fearful.'Jin silently nodded his head, his wings moving behind him as he lifted himself to his knees. Yoongi followed and did the same, their hands still connected. With his free hand, Jin's lifted it and placed it on top of the bark. Yoongi followed him.'You will hear many things.' Jin spoke as he looked at the other, his wings beginning to glow. 'You will hear the million voices of the humans and creatures who have spoken through his tree, but you need to focus on what you want to hear and see. You need to travel through the tree and find what you are looking for. I cannot do that for you or guide you.'Yoongi nervously nodded his head. 'I am ready.' He then spoke, after going through what the other just told him in his head.Jin nodded his head. 'Close your eyes.' He told the other and Yoongi did as told.Jin began to speak in the background but Yoongi could no longer hear it. His mind and body was taken in by darkness before exploding with the golden light that traveled through him.Yoongi could hear and see everything. He saw the entire forest in his mind, heard every single noise that had been made near the trees. It was amazing but mind breaking. He heard people and creatures speaking through different trees in current time and in the past, with every language imaginable. Everything was caught in the trees memory and could be seen through it. The forest was a living library that would show you everything you could imagine and ask for.In the middle of the chaos and all the noise and visions. Yoongi managed to think of a word, of a name.Jimin.He repeated it, Jimin.The sound became more silent and his visions more gentle. He only saw and heard a few things, still finding there to be too much happening around him than needed.Prince Jimin, he tried again, making the person who he was searching for a bit more easier for the tree.He finally saw something he could put together.First he saw Jimin as a child, playing in the woods when they were both young. Yoongi needed to go further. He saw Jimin riding his horse through the woods, him coming across a small lake. Yoongi knew this was what he was looking for, as it was more resent. He continued forward through the forests memory.Yoongi heard gun shots and saw blurred images. It made him get shivers up his spine. He flinched when one of the shots sounded louder than the rest, causing him to see red and feel an ache. Jimin was injured, and Yoongi could feel it.Yoongi scrunched his eyes, not letting go of the bark even when he was experiencing pain. He looked further, seeing where his brother ended up after the spy lost him. There was a black space, as his brother took of into the air and no longer made contact with the ground of the forest. Once back down, Yoongi could see him again.A small cottage, in the middle of the dark forest.A Witch and magic.Yoongi let go of the tree with a gasp, panting hard.The ache in his chest was beginning to leave, but he could still remember it. It was the pain that his brother had been feeling when he was shot. 'He is in the dark forest, with the witch who escaped the castle.' Yoongi spoke, looking at Jin who nodded his head, also looking exhausted as he too saw and felt everything.'Namjoon is with him.' Jin then spoke, remembering the witches name. 'He will be fine.' He then said, surprising the other.'Fine?' Yoongi asked, wondering if they were talking about the same witch. 'You think Jimin will be fine with the witch who tried to previously kill him?'Jin simply nodded his head. 'Yes, i believe he will be just fine. The witch wishes him no harm.'Yoongi stayed quiet for a moment, looking at the other. 'How can you be so sure.'Jin let a comforting smile spread on his lips. 'I just know. Believe me.'Yoongi didn't know what to say. After all that he just saw and experienced, he wasn't so sure why but he began to believe in Jin's words that would have sounded almost impossible a moment before. It truly seemed like everything was possible as magic was real, so should he trust the other.'Namjoon will do no harm to your brother.' Jin then spoke, letting go of the hand that Yoongi didn't even realize he had been still grasping onto this entire time. 'The witch might seem difficult with his behavior and ways, but your brother is about to change that all.' Jin explained.Yoongi stayed quiet for a moment, then letting out a small laugh due to exhaustion and because he was feeling slightly crazy by what he had just seen. 'If it is anyone, then i expect it to be Jimin who will change a murderous witch.'Jin smiled back, enjoying the calmness that had fallen on top of the others once worried mind. Jin had done what he wished for, which was to help the other calm down. Jimin was fine and he could stop worrying over his brother.Yoongi saw what had happened and could now search for his brother, and he no longer had to feel as anxious and terrified for the other. All thanks to the fairy in front of him.Yoongi was quiet for a moment before turning to the other. 'I am beyond grateful for what you did.' He spoke to the other. 'Even after all that happened, you wanted to help me when i needed it the most.'Jin smiled, nodding his head. 'The apologizing look on your face does not suit you.' He spoke to the other. 'I believe it is time to put the past behind us and begin on a brand new page. Do not mention the previous anymore, as i am not remembering it either.' Jin spoke, referring to their previous meetings together when they first met.Jin was pointed at gun point and harmful magic was used on Yoongi. Both were things that neither of them wanted to do, but just happened. It should be put behind them already so they could forget about it.Yoongi smiled, gesturing his hand towards the other who grabbed it. 'It is agreed then. We shall put the past behind us and start all over.' Yoongi spoke as he shook the hand he was holding onto.'All over.' Jin spoke as he agreed with the other. * There was a burning sensation all over him, radiating from his stomach to the rest of his body like small flames were eating him alive.Jimin moved and felt how the covers underneath him were stuck to his skin, a thin layer of sweat covering every inch of his skin.Even the slightest movement caused him to feel pain, his skin feeling tight and not like his own. He began to wonder why this was, and woke up with wide eyes as the memories of what happened before flashed back into his mind.Jimin sat on top of a bed in a dark room, surrounded by odd looking decorations and things he could not recognize. He brought up a hand to brush away the hair that was stuck to his face, and winced as he felt pain on his right side.He paused for a moment, studying his naked torso. That is correct, he was shot. Jimin saw his torso that was wrapped around in bandages, blood having seeped underneath the white cloth and stained the skin around his injury. Jimin had no memory of fixing his own injuries, or coming across a cottage like this. It was soon that he was able to put one and two together and remember what had happened.Jimin sighed as he remembered the witch who he decided to save by risking his own life.Namjoon must have brought him here after he was injured. Jimin found this surprising, as he wouldn't have thought that the witch would do such a thing. After all he knew how much the other hated him and his kind.Whatever the reason behind deciding to save him was, Jimin was grateful.He studied the room that he was in. It was small, but held many things inside of it. There was the larger bed that Jimin was currently on, as well as another smaller bed in the corner of the rounded cottage. A small stove and a table with a set of chairs was also to be seen, as well as many pots, jars and boxes on the shelf's that held something inside of them that he could not recognize. They were most likely used for magic.Jimin couldn't tell the time or what day it was. He had no idea how long he had been out for and what had happened during that time. He felt odd, like he had developed a fever due to his injury and the possible infection. He also felt dehydrated and hungry, which was no surprise.Jimin was in great pain as he tried to move on the bed. Even the slightest movements caused his injury to hurt even more. Even just taking deep breaths hurt him enough to make him not want to move. But he couldn't just stay still, as worry began to spread in his mind.Was he truly safe? He didn't know if he could trust Namjoon completely and if he even was taken by him. Perhaps Namjoon did leave him there and some other witch had taken him and took him here. That worry became way more real when the front door opened with light that blinded him for a moment, and inside the cabin stepped an older looking woman who had characteristic that of a witch. Jimin panicked for a few seconds as he stared at the witch, who then said something that made him relax slightly.'Namjoon!' She yelled outside through the door, her old voice wheezing as she did so. 'He has woken up!' She spoke and left the door open, wobbling inside the cabin.Jimin stayed completely still, almost wanting to go ahead and grab anything near him to try and protect himself but he didn't. Instead he slightly bowed his head as the smiling old witch came up to him and sat on the bed he was on.'You had a long long sleep.' She laughed, her shoulders shaking slightly.Still slightly out of it, Jimin just nodded his head. 'It feels like it, yes.' He then murmured.The witch smiled, reaching over to take a mug from the table near the bed. She then gave it to Jimin with her shaky hands. Jimin took the mug and stared at the contents inside of it for a moment, not sure what he should do with it.'It is not poisoned, if that is what you are wondering.' The witch smiled, patting Jimin's leg that was under the covers. 'It is simply a cooled down tee of some herbs and preserved flowers that will help your fever.'Jimin blinked a few times, wondering how the lady knew of his fever. But he didn't question it. Due to his painful state he was willing to do anything to help the pain. He took one more look at the odd colored liquid and then took a big gulp of it.It tasted bitter and strong, the smell of the tee blocking his nose and burning his throat. Jimin coughed as he swallowed the bitter concoction. The old witch let out a laugh, watching him suffer with getting rid of the taste in his mouth.'It will taste horrible, but it will surely wake you up and get rid of the fever.' She explained. 'Namjoon drank it all the time when he was younger and had the flu or a fever.'Jimin nodded his head, holding onto the mug an looking at it. He could see his own reflection off of the liquid inside the cup. He had seen better days. He looked dirty and worn out and also tired like he hadn't slept in days- which seemed odd as he felt like he had been asleep for a long time. Suddenly the promise of returning back home in a week since leaving the castle returned back to his mind.'Excuse me.' Jimin then called out for the witch who had already began wobbling towards the front door again. 'How long have i stayed here?' He then asked, receiving a smile from the witch.'Only for a day darling.' She answered. 'But you slept so calmly that i didn't have the heart to wake you up.' Jimin thought for a moment before nodding his head. He was about to ask something else but forgot all about it as another figure joined them inside the cabin.Namjoon stood there, slightly awkward as he held onto a bucket while his grandmother stood in front of him and Jimin stayed quiet.'Well.' Nanna then said and looked at the two. 'I better go look for the cat and make sure he's alright. You two try not to kill yourselves!'She closed the door with a bang that made Namjoon jump slightly. * Jimin had gotten himself in a lot of situations, but this was something that he never thought he would get himself into.Here he was, being healed by magic by the same witch who has tried to kill him multiple times. He also happened to save him from being killed, but that was a whole other story. He decided not to bring that up right now as the other held his wand over his injury and healed the broken skin that he apparently reopened in his sleep while tossing and turning.Instead of complaining or making a snarky comment back, Jimin decided to stay quiet in case the other would mess around with the magic and make him experience more pain.Namjoon stayed quiet, concentrating on healing the wound with his magic and ignoring the fact how much his hands were shaking against the others bare skin.Namjoon bit his lips, finish of the healing process of the wound that had reopened. He placed down his wand and reached over for the clean ripped fabric that could be used as bandages.'The healed skin needs to still be covered in case you manage to rip it open again.' Namjoon murmured as he adjusted the others position so he was able to wrap the bandages around him. Jimin sat on the bed, looking away from the other as he told his own body not to react to the way the witches cold fingers felt on his heated body.'The area is still weak and will be painful for a while, as the tissue underneath the skin took a lot of damage.' Namjoon continued to speak as he gently wrapped the bandages around Jimin's torso.Jimin hummed, regretting it immediately as the vibrations from his chest caused the just healed area to hurt again. He closed his eyes and swallowed deeply. Namjoon noticed this and paused, waiting for the other to let him continue.'It is alright.' Jimin then murmured, shaking his head slightly. 'I am just over reacting.' He added, making the witch look at him funny.'Over reacting?' He asked as he finished off the bandages, tucking the end of the roll between the bandages and the skin of the Prince. 'I do not think so. The pain you are experiencing is very real.''Have you been shot before?' Jimin then asked, eyes looking straight in front of him and ignoring the way that the witch was looking at him.Namjoon hummed out, turning to his side and grabbing something that Jimin couldn't see at first. He then recognized the thing was his own shirt that had been washed and dried. Namjoon held the thing in front of him and Jimin just stared at it for a moment before looking back up to the witch. Namjoon then realized what the other meant and let out a sigh before beginning to help the other dress himself.'Two times.' Namjoon then spoke, Jimin almost forgetting what the other had meant by that but soon remembering.'First time was when i was around ten years old.' Namjoon spoke as he helped the other slowly put on his shirt, with some trouble. 'I was stupid enough to venture out into a close village and show of my spell skills in front of the human kids, who of course told their parents. Some father showed up with a gun and almost killed me there.'Jimin frowned, due to what he just heard and also because of the pain he was experiencing. 'How could anyone do that to a child?' He asked, not necessarily wanting an answer.Namjoon shrugged his shoulders. 'Some just do not care.' He murmured. 'The second time was only a few years ago. I got caught up in a fight between a group of humans who tried to hunt me. I was shot but i still managed to-' Namjoon stopped himself, seeing the pair of eyes that stared up at him. Namjoon felt almost bad for how his story would have continued. Jimin wasn't stupid and could put one and two together.'You killed them.' He said, not receiving any answer from the witch.'That does not move me.' Jimin then added. 'I did not know those people, and know well enough that their intentions were not well if they were out to capture a witch.' Namjoon didn't say anything, as he finished helping the Prince dress himself, finding the task of helping him button up his pants slightly outrageous but being reminded by the humans words; 'You have already seen me undressed once, this is the least that you can do.' He did as told.With the previous topic still in his mind, Namjoon wasn't too surprised that the other would then ask him this.'Why did you do it?'Namjoon blinked a few times, feeling quite taken back. 'Well i mean, i had to defend myself and i could not let the humans be after what they had done-''No not that.' Jimin sighed, sounding tired. 'I mean, why did you spare me?' He then asked again. 'Why couldn't you do the same for me, but instead did all this.' All this meaning the fact that Namjoon took the other to his home, healed him, gave him food and water and even helped him dress himself. It seemed so odd that even Jimin had to point it out.Namjoon stood still for a moment, looking at the other who was waiting for an answer that Namjoon wasn't sure if he could provide. But he would try anyway.Namjoon sighed once, his hands nervously swinging by his side. 'It is difficult to say.''I think it has to do with the fact that you were the first human ever to do something for me that didn't end up in me suffering. You let me out of the chains holding me inside the castle.' Namjoon spoke, making Jimin remember the past.'Even after i repeatedly tried to hurt you by many ways, you even went far enough to come and save me by risking your own life. No one has ever done that to me, let alone a human. But you did it anyway.' Namjoon murmured.Jimin nodded his head. 'I never thought too much of it. I knew i needed to help you when you were in need.'Namjoon let out a laugh. 'Yes, but that is a way of thinking only people like you have. Who haven't been hurt before.'Jimin stayed quite for a moment, looking at the other who seemed so different from what he was used to seeing the witch as. He no longer looked intimidating or scary. Instead he looked shameful and sorry. Jimin found this odd, as he didn't expect the witch to act like this.'I have been hurt before too.' Jimin then said, smiling slightly. 'It is just that i learned a different way of coping with what happened and how to live my life. You took a different path.''You might have hurt me in some ways, but you never caused me such pain that i would have been able to let you be taken by those humans back there.' Jimin then added. 'That is something that i knew i needed to stop.''That is where you and i are different.' Namjoon spoke. 'I did not learn that way of thinking because of my rage filled state of mind. I just wanted to see others hurt too, so i didn't feel so alone.' He explained.Namjoon swallowed. 'I want to learn from you. On how to be able to forgive the ones who hurt me. I have been living for long enough in a world where i think i am all alone. And i want to be ready to forgive.'Jimin's smile grew as he looked at the other. 'I believe i can do that.' ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Jin saw him run with a rhythm of a drum. The big paws of the wolf ran through the woods and made the ground thunder. The roots of the trees around the wolf picked up his every movement, showing Jin his route even when the other was far away.Jin sat in the cold, wind and rain beating his back as he secured the others way by looking through the trees.Jin shivered, his fingers feeling numb against the tree. He really should know his limits and quit for the night. But the constant worry of his wolf friend kept him going, as Jin couldn't help himself and always returned to the tree. Once knowing more about Jimin's location and where he could possibly be at the moment, Yoongi knew he needed to inform his men who already left to search for the missing Prince, not knowing of his location. They were moving by horse and had dogs with them to find his brothers scent, but it would still take way too long for them to find the other. Yoongi needed something faster and someone able to track people well.Hoseok agreed immediately. The werewolf could find Jimin's scent even weeks after he left the castle. His scent would still wander along the halls of the castle and stick to the branches that he touched while riding through the forest. If Hoseok were to find the spot where the other was injured, he would surely find the other as the scent of his blood would stick in the air for a long time.There were some who were nervous about letting the werewolf run free, as the thought of him being out there again scared them in case he would turn on the humans. Everyone with even a little bit of sense left in their heads knew that would not happen, Yoongi being one of them. He trusted the werewolf and knew he would help if he wanted to. He had no trouble giving the other the mission and wishing him a safe trip informing the guards of where to start looking for his missing brother.Yoongi was truly grateful for all the help that he received from the two creatures, even when he did not ask them to help. They helped because they wanted to and didn't want anything back from their good deeds. Yoongi wished that more humans around him acted the same. Jin found the royal, soon to be King, odd. He would be lying if he said that he was not intrigued by the other. As he was, and wanted to know more about the other. The reason behind this being the fact that the human showed him such kindness and respect that he could have never expected from a human. Yoongi was different from the rest, but Jin did not want to fall.He could blame his habit of trusting others a bit too easily or the fact that he was often tricked by others because of his sweet personality, but there was no denying it. Jin felt something as he was with the other, he just couldn't make the right words to describe it.It began with the words that the other said to him, often joking and saying sweet things to lighten the mood. Jin had a feeling that the other did this often as he was taught how to communicate with other perfectly as the future King. So Jin didn't think of himself as anything special.But he saw some other things that the other did that could indicate the fact that perhaps the human also felt some kind of odd attraction towards the fairy.It was odd of him to invite him over for dinner, when he was busy with his packed schedule and could have spent that time doing something much more productive. But instead he spent it with him.They spoke about the regular things, like the laws and how Jin had been enjoying his stay inside the castle so far, but the small jokingly said flirts and remarks when the other had drank a little were the cause of Jin's slightly blushed cheeks. That conversation did not feel fake.Neither did the time when they were in the forest, as Yoongi held his hand and trusted Jin to show him his magic. The other did not pull away or fear, as he just watched and let Jin do what he needed to. The drive to save his brother was there, but so was the want to learn about the mysterious fairy.Jin just shouldn't open himself up that easily.He needed to remember why he was here. He was here to make a difference. He needed to make sure that the new laws that would protect him and his kind would be put to use, and he could return home. There was no need to cause his stay to last any longer than it needed to. Also the rumors of the King fooling around with a creature would not help at all, and only cause more trouble to the already falling Solaria.Jin broke from his trans like state of looking through the tree, shaking his head and his whole body following due to the cold.He was thinking crazy things. He was letting himself fantasize about ridiculous things that would never happen and shouldn't. Surely any sane person would keep their mind from going such places like his did, but he couldn't help it.Perhaps it was just the cold getting to him.Jin rose to his feet, feeling a bit wobbly as he sat down for so long. The spot where he sat had melted the area around him, his feet feeling cold as he stepped onto the still frozen area. It was almost morning, as he spent the night worrying over his friend instead of sleeping. The forest around him was still dark, but small beams of light traveled through the tall trees and reached him in the middle of the woods.Jin looked at the beautiful scenery for a moment, it looking way more beautiful to him because of his sleep deprived state. Whatever the reason might have been, it gave him the sudden drive to fly.Jin laughed and shook his head, finding himself a bit ridiculous. He really should just walk and not cause any possible trouble. But he just suddenly wanted to fly. After weeks of staying inside and then getting bad weather for days straight, Jin finally saw an opportunity that he had to take.Leaving behind any thought of if he should do this or could he get in trouble later, Jin opened his wings and looked up to the still dark sky. It was now or never.And did it feel good to feel the wind underneath his wings again.He felt slightly clumsy, his wings flapping a bit too quicker than usual. It was because it had been such a long time since a last flew that he almost forgot how you were supposed to do it. He soon got the hang of it, flying swiftly through the trees of the forest. He flew up and past the tree tops, seeing the beautiful sun rise in the distance. Jin could see it all from up there, the nearby castle on top of the hill and the city of Solaria underneath it. In the early morning, the city looked peaceful and calm. When it didn't have people running through the streets with burning torches and gun shots firing in the alleys. Jin decided to stay far away from the city, heading back towards the castle. And as he did not want to get shot by a guard who couldn't recognize him, Jin came back down to the ground quickly before entering the castle yard. His landing was slightly off, him almost falling over as he hit the ground.He cleared his throat and looked around himself, seeing no one near him. He then headed towards the front yard of the castle, passing a few roaming guards who paid no attention to him. The situation was so much different from the time when he was first brought to the castle, when he was beat by a pair of guards and how they all took out their weapons when he left his room. Today he was given the freedom of doing whatever he wanted, as long as he did not break any major rules. But going outside was allowed, and that was all he needed right now.He already had a long night and needed to head back inside his room and rest, but he wanted to do one thing before that. So instead of heading towards his own room, he took a direction towards a familiar head guards office. Taehyung was slightly surprised to see the fairy knock on his office door, but let him in without questioning it. Usually he wouldn't even open his door before the time his work began but he expected it to be something important as someone dared to knock on his door in such hours. He then realized the fairy could not read what the note on his door said and advised which hours to visit him during if they had something to discuss him with. Honestly speaking, he was expecting either Jungkook or Yoongi to be knocking behind his door, but saw the fairy instead.'And what brought you here, if i might ask?' Taehyung asked as he offered the fairy a seat, which he took gladly. Taehyung went back to his own seat behind his desk and looked at the other.'I have some new information about Prince Jimin.' Jin then spoke, dusting off the few snowflakes that stuck to his clothes and hadn't melted yet.Taehyung hummed out, interested to hear what the other had seen. He heard of the fairy's amazing way of seeing everything that he wanted. He wouldn't have believed the word about his magic before, but as he heard it from Yoongi who saw it himself, he had no other choice but to believe it.Taehyung leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. 'Would you like to share those details with me?' He then asked, still acting careful around the fairy after what had happened previously. Taehyung knew that the fairy and werewolf had forgiven him before for what had happened when they were captured, but he still believed that they might have something against him.Jin didn't think so and didn't have any problem with sharing his news with the other. In the end he knew that Taehyung was the most talented guard and knew how things worked around the castle. When it came to spreading news forward in the forces and between the guards, it was Taehyung who you should speak with.'I tracked your men and looked to see how far Hoseok was from them, and the space between them is not big anymore. He should catch up to them in a matter of hours.' Jin began, explaining what he had done during the whole night.'I also picked off a slight indicator from Jimin's current location that he was moving by himself and he was well. The moment he stepped on ground was only momentarily, but it was there.' Jin then said.'So he is awake and moving.' Taehyung then asked, leaning forward against his hands that were prepped up against the desk.Jin nodded his head. Licking over his lips and continuing with his findings. 'I also saw two other figures moving in the area frequently. I believe they are the witches that King Yoongi saw before when communicating with the tree.'Taehyung swallowed, feeling nervous as the witch was mentioned. He wouldn't question it at all, he knew that the witch Namjoon was strong and someone who they should fear. His men needed to prepare them selves. 'Thank you for this, i will send a messenger hawk informing the men that they need to prepare for battle.' Taehyung then said, getting up from his seat- Jin following quickly behind.'That is not why i told you this information.' Jin then said, wanting to get his message straight and so there would be no misunderstanding between them. 'I said it once and will continue to say it multiple times again, the witches are not harmful.' Jin then said, voice worried and pleading. 'They have not harmed the Prince and do not have any intention to do so. If you approach them with weapons drawn, they will attack your men before they will even lift their swords.'Taehyung stayed quiet for a moment before letting out a small laugh. 'You should not underestimate the royal guards. They are the strongest men in all of Solaria. They know what to do when seeing the witch.'Jin shook his head. 'No. They will all be dead in the end.' He murmured with a sigh. 'This is not what i wanted you to understand from my message. The only thing you need to know is that the Prince is alive an well, and the witches helping him are not a threat to him in any way.''I hope you understand how hard that is to understand and believe.' Taehyung then spoke, lifting his hands up. 'I cannot take your words for granted as i do not know how well you know this witch and if you have been communicating with him for this whole time.' He said.Jin was beginning to loose hope. Taehyung was starting to doubt him, thinking of different scenarios where Jin was the enemy because of his unsure mind. And Jin couldn't really blame him. He did after all manage to make everyone believe that he saw the Prince being in the middle of the dark forest and convinced the King to believe this as well. Now all of Taehyung's men were traveling through that dangerous forest, perhaps walking towards nothing but death.But Jin wasn't lying and wast playing a trick on these humans. He truly wanted to help and hoped that this rescue mission wouldn't cost any lives. That is why he suddenly leaped forward and connected his hand with the surface of the others forehead.Taehyung jumped slightly as the fairy moved so quickly, but he didn't manage to do anything else. As soon as Jin's fingers were pressed up against his head he went blank, looking into his eyes.'You better not blame me after this.' Jin murmured after he closed his eyes and let the magic run through him and into the human.Taehyung stood still, paralyzed by the magic that the fairy put him under. He had no time think what to do or how to feel as soon as the fairy closed his eyes, his own eyes were filled with a vision that he couldn't remember seeing before.Things were flying past his eyes, him seeing and hearing many things at the same time. It felt like he was going through time and perhaps even space. Taehyung tried to find something out of this all that he could make out and recognize. It took a moment, but then he saw it. He saw Jimin and a witch. He saw what happened prior to that when the Prince fell to the ground with a wound seeping blood and the witch rushed to his side. The creature saved him.The vision ended quickly, leaving him gasping for breath as the fairy let go of him. Taehyung moved backwards with a stumble. He leaned against the wall, breathing heavily as he looked at the fairy, almost wanting to take out his weapon from his back pocket.'Now, do you believe me?' The fairy laughed, seeming slightly tired as well from sharing his past vision with the other.'I should have stabbed you for laying a hand on me.' Taehyung murmured, blinking his eyes a few times as they still felt odd after the fairy used them to make him see.'I would have killed you with a spell after you'd done that.' Jin laughed. 'I guess we can call this a truce.' In the end Taehyung did not tell his men to prepare for battle. Instead he told them to proceed through the woods with caution and with their weapons on sight but not drawn. He wrote them that the witches held nothing against them and wouldn't hurt them unless they made them feel in danger. Now all Taehyung had to do was hope that they received the message in time.Taehyung still felt slightly skeptical, but he had no other choice but to believe the fairy. He did in fact show him what he and Yoongi saw before while communicating through the tree. He didn't believe that the fairy could have made that up, he saw kindness in the other, even though he could be dangerous.Taehyung decided to believe the others words, but warned him in case he was lying to him. The lost of the guards could mean worse news to the fairy and the rest of the creatures, as the guards would be in charge of keeping them safe as well in the future.Jin knew this and assured the other that he had no intentions of spreading lies or fake news. He just wanted to help in the search of getting the Prince back to the castle safely.Whether he liked it or now, the castle would be his home from now on and he couldn't say when it would be safe for him to leave. He had no other place to go to, so staying here was keeping him alive. Jin couldn't afford to lose this place, so he surely wouldn't mess around with the guards to cause him to be taken out of the castle or even killed. He needed to play it safe, but also help others while he can.Jin's future was unstable, but he needed to concentrate on the current. He currently didn't have a future to look forward to, so he needed to focus on today. Today, he wanted to do everything that he could to help others around him. And that was exactly what he would do. * 'Mother, calm down before you break a bone.' Jungkook asked his mother who moved around the big room like a headless chicken, moving flowers from place to place, as confused workers were following her and helping her move the things that she took.She completely ignored him, pointing a direction to the servants of where to go and picked up more things that needed to be moved. She held tightly onto her pile of papers, reading whatever was still missing from the small church and making sure everything needed had arrived.She had been roaming around and inside the church for hours already, her cheeks red and strands of hair leaving her once tight bun. This was important to her, but Jungkook still didn't want her to work herself too much. If she kept going like this she would probably not be able to see the coronation at all, making all her hard work go to waste.But it wasn't herself who she wanted to please with her exact work, but the many other royalty who would join the ceremony from all over the land. They needed to make a good impression after the King passed, showing the other Kingdoms that they still had everything under control, when in fact they clearly didn't. Other royalty would want to work together with Solaria in trading supplies and army men, and the possibility of Kingdoms uniting was always an option as well if other Kings saw something in Yoongi that would make them sure of wanting to unite their Kingdom with Solaria. And marriage was always something that followed soon after a coronation. The castle doors would soon be knocking day and night as eager princesses and other women would want to see just a glimpse of the new King.Jungkook couldn't really control his mother, as he didn't have the heart to do so. This was important to his mother, as it was the only ceremony she would get to make inside the royal church. Jungkook couldn't help her in that matter, unless he died early. He would not be getting married, so his mother can't plan the ceremony that will never happen.He always feels slightly upset when he thinks about that. His mother was also sad when she first realized what his son has been up to, meeting with the young soldier, Taehyung, who she thought was just a close friend. At first she prayed, then she questioned it and finally learned to love him again.During the time when she questioned him and his ways of living life, Jungkook too began to think of his ways and feelings. There was no changing what he was, a sinner- as some would call. But he could always choose a life of lying to himself in order to make the ones around him happy. He could give his mother the dream wedding she always dreamed of seeing him in, but doing so he would start to lose himself.A life spent pretending to love someone else than Taehyung, just sounded horrible.It wasn't that he would be marrying a woman that would be awful, but the fact that it would be anyone else than the man he loves today. His mother once begged of him, that in order to help his good image as a doctor remain and as a part of the royals, he should still marry a well known woman and keep his sinful relationship behind the scenes if it was necessary. As it would be a shame for all his studying years to go to waste as no one would be his client once the rumors spread.But Jungkook could not do that. He could not pretend to love someone else and cause them pain while doing so. Jungkook could imagine it, seeing some excited young lady walk into the castle to meet her new husband, only to never feel his love after finding out that the marriage was only a mere cover. She would be heart broken, and Jungkook could never live with himself knowing that he was the cause behind a pain like that.That is why after so many tries, his mother still never got the promise of seeing her son stand in a church before getting married. And even when she has forgiven him multiple times, Jungkook still believes that her heart is aching.So he quit trying to stop her, as this was the only time she would get to prepare something like this. And Jungkook would not take that joy away from her, as it is the least that he can do.With the coronation happening tomorrow morning, Jungkook also needed to do some things in order to help. He already finished of every patient who came to the royal clinic to see him because of an injury, so he could focus on other things. Now he just needed to hope that no one else got hurt during the day, especially his mother who looked like she could faint any moment. But of course, she didn't even have the time to drink water as she was so busy. As a well educated woman in science and health as well, Jungkook decided to trust that she would not harm herself and know when to take a break.He headed towards someones location who he knew had a problem with taking care of himself, heading straight to his cousins large meeting room.He knocked once, opening the door before a servant on the other side could do so. He walked into the room to see Yoongi swarmed by many advisers who all seemed very busy. He simply just cleared his throat and caught everyone's attention. With a relieved sigh, Yoongi managed to ask his servants to leave the room for a moment, leaving him alone with his younger cousin.'I assume i came in at the right moment?' Jungkook laughed as he walked up to the other, after the door closed behind the servants who left.Yoongi let out a laugh and nodded his head. 'Couldn't have been better. I was about to snap and yell them all out of the room.''That i would have wanted to see.' Jungkook smiled, enjoying as Yoongi rolled his eyes and seemed to relax. He hated seeing the other so worked up. Instead Jungkook wished to see the foolish and smiling Yoongi that he remembered from his childhood. When he, Yoongi and Jimin were only children and felt like they had all the time in the world to just play and laugh around. Times have truly changed. Jungkook silently nodded his head, looking around the familiar room that once had a different aura around it. Once this was the office of the scary King who he once called uncle. Now it is Yoongi's room. Just the fact that the room had a new owner managed to shake off some of the bad feelings that the room gave you, but not all of it. That has to be impossible, as every time Jungkook even walks past the room on the hallway he is reminded of the old King now passed.'A King, huh?' Jungkook smiled, looking at the other. 'Does the name still feel odd to you?''You have no idea.' Yoongi murmured, removing some of the papers from the desk so he could lift his feet up and lean back. He groaned tiredly and closed his eyes for a moment before opening them again. 'It still feels like a dream. More like a nightmare, actually.'Jungkook sadly nodded his head. They weren't kids anymore, he had to remind himself. They were no longer protected by their parents and could spent their days playing together. They were no longer innocent and had seen the hurt, hate and love that others could provide you with. Some more than others.'It will all work out in the end.' Jungkook then said, foot nervously tapping on the marble floor. 'You will always have me and others who will be right behind you. You never have to make decisions on your own that you are not sure of.' Jungkook assured the other.'And odds are that i will forget to call you King, so what truly will even change after the coronation?' He spoke, adding a joke in the end just to try and lift the mood in the room. And it seemed to work as Yoongi let out a laugh in his sleepy state.'Then you just need to pray that i will defend you when others will try to cast you out of the Kingdom after disrespecting the King like that.' Yoongi spoke, playing with a pen he picked up from his desk.'Knowing you, you probably wont do a thing and just laugh as i am being escorted out of the castle.' Jungkook swore, enjoying the reaction he got from the other.Yoongi smiled, leaning further in his chair. He let out a small sigh. 'I wonder when another moment like this will happen again.' He spoke, getting Jungkook's attention. 'When it's just you and i like this, a conversation without work and worries. Moments like this will become almost impossible after tomorrow.'Jungkook swallowed and licked over his lips. 'Seeing as we all have been so busy lately and still managed to find time like this, i believe we will be just fine, even when times will seem hard.''You really think so?' Yoongi asked, placing down the pen he had been playing with. Jungkook simply just nodded his head. 'Then i will be happy.' Yoongi said, looking away from the other. 'We will never go back in time to the times when you and i were able to talk and play around for hours, but just knowing that i'll be able to see you like this will be enough to me.''Do you perhaps remember the last time we spent the whole night reading through story books and staying up without permission, or escaping to the stables and stealing horses for a midnight ride?'Jungkook laughed. 'Jimin always complained the whole trip but still joined along, getting in trouble together when we arrived back.' He spoke, remembering the old times. Yoongi smiled for a moment, remembering the fun times they shared as children. They truly were brothers, having grown up together so closely. There must have been a time when Jungkook himself even thought that the two Prince's were his own two brothers. But the small difference in their bloodline didn't make a big difference, as the three of them were as close as you could ever get.Yoongi had always been the trouble maker who came up with the pranks and escape plans to get outside when they weren't allowed. Jungkook followed around like a sidekick as the thought of helping his cousin was so cool. Jimin was the sound of actual sense that followed them around to make sure no one got them selves killed. He had always been the careful one who made sure the ones around him were alright. It didn't make sense that Jungkook was the one to become a doctor instead of the other. But Jimin did always have a want for adventure in his heart that he finally got to let out after all these years. It was a shame that things turned out this way.Almost as if reading his mind, Yoongi looked at Jungkook and spoke out.'He will be back.' He said, making the other come back to reality from his thoughts. Jungkook looked at him for a moment until realizing what the other meant by this.'I know he will be fine and come back home in one piece.' Yoongi spoke again, the thoughts of his missing brother filling his head.Jungkook too wanted to feel hopeful for a change, even when the thoughts of different possibilities were always in the back of his mind when thinking of the other.'The fairy let you see that?' Jungkook then asked, remembering the spreading rumor around the castle that Yoongi had seen a vision though magic that told him the location where Jimin was. It sounded just as crazy as it was. Yoongi knew this as well, but he saw what he saw. It was real and he believed Jin enough to know that it was no spell.'Yes.' Yoongi then said. 'I saw everything, Jungkook. I saw how he rode his horse through the forest and how he was injured.' He murmured. 'I felt his pain when he was shot. It was amazing how i was able to see it all through magic.''I saw where he is right now, with the witch who escaped the castle before.' He spoke, looking at Jungkook with wide eyes. 'I was afraid for him, but Jin told me the witch wanted no harm.''And you believed that?' Jungkook then asked, finding the situation slightly worrying and odd. Jungkook knew what the witch had done previously, to Jimin and the others who had come across the famous witch. He had a drive to murder humans, and Jungkook didn't think that Jimin could be an exception.Yoongi shook his head. 'No, not at first.' He confessed. 'I thought just as you did at first. I was worried for him and wanted to get rid of the witch immediately and bring Jimin back home. But Jin showed me how it truly was. The witch was the one to save him and heal his injuries.' Yoongi murmured. 'He is not as evil as us humans portrait him as.'It was hard to believe, almost impossible. But Jungkook didn't have any word in this. Many others already tried to get Yoongi to change his mind but he would not listen. He was set on the thought that the witch was kind and not out to kill the younger Prince.It sounded crazy and Jungkook wanted to study Yoongi's current mental health, but he just had to trust the other and that he knew what he was doing.'I hope you are doing the right thing.' Jungkook said. 'I know you saw the vision and not anyone else, so only you can decide what is for the best in this situation.''But, i hope you only trust yourself in this situation, and not even the fairy.' Jungkook then added.Without thinking about it too much, Yoongi nodded his head. 'Of course. You can trust me.'Like a miracle, Jungkook dropped the topic there. They continued to speak about other things for a moment before an adviser was already knocking on his door again. Jungkook was of course forced to leave so that they could continue talking about controversial topics, that no one other was allowed to hear.But Yoongi's mind was out of the window for most of the meeting, and for the rest of the day. He kept on thinking about one thing over and over again, Jungkook's words echoing in his mind like a hymn. Only trust yourself, not even the fairy. * Jimin's head was spinning.His eyes where closed, but the room still felt like it was moving, his body swaying back and forth as he saw on the edge of his bed.He felt like throwing up, but there was nothing to be emptied as he had refused to eat earlier as he already felt sick then. His stomach was screaming for food, but he knew he would just throw it up if he were to eat.A high fever was messing with him, making him weak and unable to to anything by himself. He cursed as he moved on the bed, attempting to get up but failing.His wound was infected and caused a fever to rise. Namjoon's grandmother healed it a few times, but the salves and healing seemed to do only little. Jimin began to fear for his health, as the area around his stomach only became more sore and not seemed to heal properly. He could not leave like this, so his return to the castle seemed further and further away.Jimin swallowed deeply, letting out a groan as he turned to his side in a way that made his injured side hurt again. He let out a long breath through his nose as he managed to lay down again, biting down on his tongue.He slowly opened his eyes and looked at the wall across from it. It was decorated with a beautiful decorative art piece, made from dried flowers and drawn markings. It must have meant something, but Jimin had never seen a thing like that, not even from his books.He eventually closed his eyes once again as the markings on the wall began to move as if he was hallucinating, and perhaps he was due to the fever. Jimin's sleep was choppy as he woke up every now and then, making it impossible to sleep well for even an hour. Every time he opened his eyes he noticed how his pain increased and became more unbearable. He had enough of it, knowing that he could even die if he let this go unnoticed. Jimin forced himself out of the bed, biting his tongue and grunting when he was in more pain due to his movements. He held onto the walls for support and somehow managed to get to the door and open it.Jimin was met with the sight of melted ground and sunlight shining down between the forest. It was a beautiful sight and almost seemed fake, as if he was just dreaming it. He looked around himself and felt how drops of water dropped from the trees above him, hitting his heated skin.Jimin looked to his side, hearing a sound that alerted him.Jimin jumped slightly, surprised to see the huge animal in front of him. But Jimin soon recognized his horse and reached his hand out to the familiar animal. His trusty horse smelled his palm, giving it a lick after thinking for a moment. Almost as if it was making sure it was his owner he had just met.Jimin stared into the two black eyes and smiled. He patted the side of his horse, running his hand through the once neat mane that the white horse had. It was slightly tangled now and needed grooming. Jimin's hands caught onto something that he pulled out from the hair, seeing a small red flower in his hands. Looking back at the horse, Jimin realized the whole mane was full of the similar red flowers, placed in a neat pattern.'I believe Nanna put those there earlier when your horse showed up.' A voice then spoke, scaring Jimin for a second. He of course recognized the voice and saw the witch stand there a step away from him.'He looks handsome.' Jimin murmured, his voice broken and low. He brushed a hand down the side of his horse, feeling the soft fur. 'I knew he would come look for me after i left him.' He murmured.Namjoon was quiet, watching the white horse who previously seemed nervous as it was with him and his grandmother. Now with the human, the white steed seemed calm and relaxed when with it's owner.Namjoon's eyes moved from the horse to the Prince.'You have a fever.' He said, walking to the other. He placed a hand on top of the others forehead, ignoring the way the other jumped slightly due to his delirious state.'Has your wound healed already?' Namjoon then asked, having last seen the human yesterday since he left to go collect supplies from a local town. In the meanwhile his grandmother looked over the human and healed his wounds. She took her opportunity to leave when Namjoon arrived back, as she had a meeting with the local witches of the forest. They needed to discus if it was still safe to stay in the forest or if they should all move locations for now, as the humans became more dangerous. Jimin shook his head, looking away from his horse and at the other. 'I don't think it will get any better like this.' He then murmured.Namjoon looked at the other for a moment. 'What do you mean like this?' He then asked.The Prince shrugged his shoulders, making Namjoon confused. 'I don't believe anything can be done anymore. Your grandmother tried everything that she had.' Jimin then said. 'I believe that the infection has spread into my bloodstream and it shutting down each organ one by one, slowly killing me.'Namjoon admired the way that the other could speak about such a topic with such a calm tone. Instead of seeming even slightly sad or worried, the other was neutral and almost accepting the death that he assumed would come to him. Namjoon also guessed it was the fever talking, that made the other stand wobbly and slur his words. He was dead tired and didn't know what he was talking about. Not at least completely, as the things that he said were very real and could happen, but Namjoon didn't believe that the infection could have gotten that bad.And knowing his grandmother, this must be just another test for him, seeing as his grandmother could have easily healed the human in a second- but instead left that to him and ran away. Typical Nanna.Namjoon sighed and looked at the other, crossing his arms. 'I will heal you.' He then said.Jimin turned to look at him, holding onto his horse for support. 'You?' He then asked with amusement on his face. 'I'd like to see that happen.' He laughed even when in pain.'Now what is that supposed to mean?' Namjoon asked, confused because of the reaction that the other gave him. He was not expecting the other to seem so uncaring and ignoring his help like that. 'Would you rather just die then?''Of course not.' Jimin then smiled. 'I just could never imagine you using healing magic, let alone on me.'Namjoon stopped for a second, standing still. 'Wait. You do realize that it was me who removed the bullet and healed you?' He then asked, wanting to make sure that the two of them were on the same page as it really didn't seem like it.'No.' Jimin tiredly laughed, looking at the other like he was crazy. 'You would never do that.''But i did.' Namjoon simply said. 'I did do that, even though it seems impossible from someone like me. Because just like i said before, i want to change.'Jimin stared at him for a moment, thinking about what the other said and about their previous conversation when the witch told him his deepest wish for the future. He wanted to learn how to forgive and move on, starting with accepting humans and forgetting what they did to his family.'You saved me?' Jimin then asked, making the other look away from a moment. Jimin knew it was hard for the witch to admit that, as he would love to say no and be responsible for his pain. But that was not what they were trying to do. Namjoon sighed. 'Yes.'Jimin hummed, his lips twitching with a slight smile. 'Thank you.' He then said, leaving the witch standing there quietly and awkward. 'This is the part where you say no problem and we have had a good conversation. Let's call it lesson one of being a good person.' He smiled, feeling slightly weak.There was silence, before the other answered. 'You're welcome.' Namjoon then said.'See that wasn't too bad? You just had a proper conversation with a human and you didn't even want to kill me.' Jimin joked, fingers brushing his horses hair.Speak from your own point of view, Namjoon jokingly thought to himself. Instead of joking, he turned to the other a bit more serious.'You are seriously ill.' He reminded the other. 'You need more rest and healing sessions.' Namjoon murmured, grabbing onto the humans hand that was closest to him. Even if the other would have wanted to free himself, he couldn't as he was too weak to break free from the others grip.Jimin stayed quiet as he followed the other inside the cabin, leaving his horse outside where he knew he would stay and wait for him.Inside Namjoon lead him over to the bed and ordered him to lay down. Jimin moved carefully and quietly as he sat on the edge of the bed.Namjoon quietly began to work around the small table that was set next to the bed, looking at the different herbs and potion bottles. He looked at a unlit candle and pointed a finger at it, making it lit in a second. Jimin looked at the flame with wide eyes.'I am going to remove the bandages.' Namjoon murmured and reached for the others torso, finding the end of the bandages and begun to un roll it off.Jimin stayed quiet and looked at some spot in the corner of the room. His breathing was unsteady and low. He felt tired and weak. His throat was dry and could use a sip of water, but the thought of swallowing anything also wanted to make him gag.'It's a shame that this needed to happen.' He then murmured out lazily. Namjoon stopped working for a moment and listened to the other.'All i wanted to do was finally be free from my life, even for a few days, but i couldn't have even that. I suppose life wont allow me to be anything else but a Prince locked inside a castle, because as soon as i leave i get set up for failure.'By set up Namjoon assumed that the other was talking about the map that he was given. The old map that would have lead him to nowhere. It was indeed suspicious that he was given a map like that, as a Prince. Namjoon cleared his throat, continuing with his work. 'If you were truly given a faulty map, then that was not your fault but theirs. It was either planned or just bad luck.'Jimin shook his head. 'It wasn't simple bad luck. I believe it was planned.' He murmured.'What do you mean by that?' Namjoon asked, finally being able to see the extent of damage that the infection had managed to done already. It did not look pretty. Namjoon showed no reaction as he saw the injured area, as he did not want to alert the other. Instead he stayed calm and reached for his supplies of clean fabric and some water to clean the surrounding area.Jimin closed his eyes, flinching as Namjoon touched the area around his injury. He breathed through his nose and slightly nodded his head to tell the other to keep going when he would stop when Jimin would react badly.Once cleaned, Namjoon left the area alone for a moment and turned to get his salves and wand.Jimin managed to open his eyes again, closing them again when he made the mistake of looking down at himself and the damage that had been made. To keep him distracted from what was going on, he continued to speak while Namjoon returned to put some of the salve on his broken skin.'I believe someone set me up with the wrong map on purpose. There are many people who to suspect and the reasons behind why they would do that.' Jimin spoke, looking at a spot on the wall to make sure he stayed focused and wouldn't move.'I know for a fact that many people in the castle do not think well of me anymore since i was held captive and performed those crimes against my father. Many wanted me to stay in prison for good, and were upset when i was freed. I assume that if i couldn't be put back into prison, they would have just wanted me dead or gone for good.'Namjoon nodded his head. It did make sense, seeing as he too heard the rumors. The reason why the fight behind the castle gates happened was because the humans hated the Prince so much and because of the creatures captured. Jimin had many people who hated him for dishonoring his father while he was still the King. Usually this was a crime that would end up in the death of a traitor, but he was given the easier place of being put in prison. The citizens already found that option to be way too kind, so it was no surprise that they were furious when they found out he was let out without any punishment. They wanted justice to be served for what he did to the King.'Do you know anyone in particular who would want you dead?' Namjoon then asked, fingers carefully spreading the healing salve around the others injury. 'I assume it would have to be someone working close to the map maker inside the castle. The advisers see and hear everything. They have their own network, so they run the castle. The King has always just been someone who makes the final decisions and writes down his sign. I know for a fact that the advisers had to have something to do with this. Ever since i was released from the cell, they have been giving me odd looks.'Namjoon nodded his head, thinking about a sudden memory that came to his mind;...'Just our luck.' The man in his memory spoke, green and black teeth showing as he laughed straight at his face.'We should have known that this trip wouldn't go to waste even though we didn't catch the Prince.' The other laughed. 'At least we caught the dirty witch who escaped the castle. The royals will be glad.'...Namjoon remembers the two bounty hunters who caught him and ended up injuring Jimin. The two men clearly mentioned the fact that they were paid to go after the Prince, and that they were hired by the royals at Solaria's castle. Namjoon began to put all those clues together.It would not make sense that Yoongi would have hired a bounty hunter to collect his brother. Instead the other would have sent an army after him, like he most likely has done already since the other has been gone for so long. So if the one to send out the bounty hunter was not Yoongi, then who?Namjoon began to realize the situation better, as he saw the connection between the bounty hunters and the fact that Jimin felt unsafe inside the castle and around the advisers. They had a part in this, but now they just needed to find out why and what was their motive.Namjoon finished the healing process. He used his wand to create deep healing magic that would also spread during the next few hours and help with the infection that already managed to spread slightly. He would need to perform another healing session in a few hours, after the other got some rest. But before allowing the other to have that rest, Namjoon shared his thoughts with the other about what he said before. Namjoon agreed with him, thinking that there was indeed something going on inside the castle that happened behind their backs.Jimin was not shocked or surprised to hear what Namjoon told him about the two men he was captured by. It was almost as if he was expecting news like this to arrive sooner or later.Jimin knew that the castle was a dark place with many secrets. Things happened behind their backs and not even the King could always see them. The advisers have been working together in a tight group for many centuries, advising and helping the King. It did not come as a surprise that the advisers could do things on their own as well, that did not belong to them.Everyone had a hunger for power at some point in their life, and given the perfect opportunity someone was guaranteed to take that opportunity. They saw the chance to get rid of him and took it. But their plan failed and Jimin was still alive and well, and he would not stop until he brought this news forward.Namjoon realized this could change many things. It would bring down a whole part of the current leaders in their country, leaving only the King.If Yoongi were to get this information about the advisers, he would not stand still and would actually do something about the situation. Namjoon knew he needed to help the Prince get this information back to the castle.It suddenly wasn't just about him and Jimin anymore, as the situation became much more bigger when they realized it. If the advisers wanted to get rid of the Prince, they would not stop there. Next it would be Yoongi. Once the King was out of the picture, the Kingdom would be taken over by the advisers until a new King was put on the throne. Next would be Jungkook's mother and then himself, but if the advisers took care of the King, then who would protect them?Once the advisers ruled over the Kingdom, there would be no mercy shown to the creatures. They would all be murdered and sold. Namjoon's kind would go extinct in a matter of months, others much sooner.It was wrong and couldn't happen. Namjoon knew he needed to make a difference and protect his kind. It was only a shame that he didn't think like this before, when he was more selfish and wanted to only protect himself.But he was ready to help now, and no one could stand on his way. * The yard of the castle was crowded with people. Humans from all over the land had came for this occasion, staying in local villages and even sleeping outside. Many could not be let inside the church as the important royals already took all the seats. Many invited royals had stayed at the castle over night, getting prepared for the ceremony in the morning. Jin was walking along the castle halls, seeing some last minute details being made as maids cleaned every last spiderweb and fur ball off of the marble floor, that was all washed shiny yesterday.The smell of amazing food that was being prepared was all around the castle, strong around the large kitchen. The huge dining room had opened it's doors and had many tables inside of it, all decorated with the finest plates and flowers.The castle really went all out this time, wanting to make a good appearance since the old King was no longer in charge. All other Kingdoms had their eyes on Solaria, wanting to see what would happen to the Kingdom that lost their powerful King. If they seemed weak, a stronger Kingdom could easily take this as a chance to attack, or try to unite.Jin was currently enjoying his last moments of being able to walk around the castle for the day, as after the ceremony begins he will be in his room and not able to come out of it due to the many guests. Jin received a letter early that morning, advising him to stay inside for his own protection and due to the fact that most of the humans did not know about the fact that a fairy was located inside the castle.Jin did not see a name on the letter, but saw the royal stamp mark on it. That meant it was either from Yoongi or one of his servants. Either way, he decided it was best to believe it. While still having the time to walk freely, Jin made a quick trip to the library, picking up new books to read during the day and night when he couldn't sleep. His nights were becoming more and more restless, as spring got closer. Mating season always sucked as he didn't enjoy it one bit. The aching pain in his body and the rising fever that lasted for a few days sounded just as horrible as it was. This would also be his first heat spent alone without any other fairies to provide him with support, so he was not excited one bit.And getting through a heat did not mean he needed a partner to spend it with. He just needed someone who would make sure he didn't die to the heat and keep him sane. The whole purpose of a heat was for the fairy to become extra fertile, but it did not mean you would need a partner to spent the time with. Many fairies chose to stay non active during their heats, and save the time with their partner for another time.Jin's cheeks got hotter just thinking about this subject. Leaving it besides for now, he continued his way outside, walking past the busy humans and workers.He hid his wings underneath his blanket just in case he could get into trouble. He stayed away from the humans, walking over to the side and disappearing to the familiar forest next to the castle. There, Jin was comfortable enough to remove the blanket off of him and carry it in his arms while his wings moved freely.He hummed some tune that he remembered from years back, feet stepping skilfully over rocks and icy spots that hadn't melted. It was truly a beautiful morning, as snow had mostly melted and it hadn't rained yet. The sun was shining and creating amazing images in the forest as it hit the branches of the trees that were covered in small water droplets. There was still some fog in the air, giving the forest a magical feeling. Jin smiled as he took off flying.When flying, he felt free. He could forget about the worries that his life had brought to him and just focus on the moment. He would just look at the sky and fly without a worry. It was rare to feel such relief and so relaxed these days, with everything happening around him. But he enjoyed the feeling, taking every moment that he was given to make sure he took time to himself.Flying had always been something that brought the fairy joy. He first learned to fly before he even learned how to walk. Flying has always brought him a sense of freedom.Jin remembers hearing stories about fairies who's wings were taken from them. The fairies unable to fly would rot away in self hate and pity. They could no longer receive that feeling of freedom and joy that came from being able to fly. That was forcefully taken from them.Fairies without their wings would be unhappy and sad, as the memories of being able to fly again always came back to their minds. But the aching scars on their backs reminded them they could no longer do what they wanted the most. A fairy without it's wings was just a mere body, used for it's magic and powers. Jin thought of his own kind, many of who had their wings removed and sold- just because of creed. It was wrong.Jin's feet touched the ground once again, feeling his bare feet hit the cool moss underneath him. He headed towards the familiar tree that he had gotten to know well during the past few days. The tree was old and wise, as it had seen many things. It was now willing to slowly open up to Jin and let him see through the trees eyes, learning from the old tree.At first the tree wouldn't let him see anything, and that was why he needed Yoongi's help when finding Jimin's location. The tree wouldn't let him see alone for some reason that he couldn't understand. But Jin was willing to wait and be patient. Little by little, the tree showed him more and let him look through it. There still were some parts that the tree would not show him, blocking his ways and roots as Jin tired to look through them.This wasn't a problem to the determined fairy, as he enjoyed the game that he was playing with the tree. He was willing to wait and see when it would e the right time and he could see everything that he wanted.Just like the day before, Jin made his way to the tree, hoping to unlock something new every time he returned to the old tree. Last time he was able to see further into the past, seeing how the castle was being built and how the Kingdom came to be. But Jin wanted to see further, to the times when creatures ruled over the land with their powers.History was always something that fascinated him very much. He would like to learn about everything, if his brain was only capable of remembering everything that he saw. But he was bound to forget some things as new information kept on coming.The tree sat alone in the middle of smaller trees, all it's children that grew from it's seeds over the years. The tree looked kind and wise. Only a fairy could see these characteristics from wild life, as a human or a witch would only see the tree as a regular tree. Humans used trees as building material and as something to burn when they felt cold. Fairies usually lived on trees by their permission and used magic to keep themselves warm. To a fairy like him, trees were someone with a soul and mind. They could speak and show you things, meaning they were alive in their own way, through not moving and speaking out loud. Jin could hear the whispers and sounds in the seemingly quiet forest, as the trees spoke to each other. It sounded like the wind, quiet and far away, but it was still there.Sometimes Jin would like to just stay still and listen to those quiet sounds, wanting to understand what the trees said to each other. But he could not understand the language that no other had ever spoken before, and the trees would never tell you.The forest of Solaria was amazing. It held so much information in it and made the trees powerful with their wide knowledge. Jin would like to learn everything that the trees had to offer, but it wold take his whole life and more to be able to do that.Like always, Jin approached the tree with excitement boiling in his chest. This time however, he was not alone in the presence of the tree.'Yoongi?' Jin asked, surprised to see the other sat down underneath the tree. The other noticed him, getting up from his spot and smiling at the fairy approaching him.'I was sure i would meet you here.' Yoongi spoke.Jin was confused to why the other was here, seeing as his coronation was about to start in a matter of hours. Yoongi must be beyond busy, but he still took the time to come out here like this. Perhaps everything was becoming too much, and the other needed to escape somewhere for a moment just to breathe.'Should you really be here right now?' Jin asked, circling the tree and Yoongi. 'I assume you should be getting ready for the ceremony by now.'Yoongi nodded his head. 'That is very true. I should be getting ready by now, but instead i am here.' He murmured. 'I needed one last moment where i was able to be alone without the guards and the advisers. It is all becoming a bit too much for me.''But i shouldn't be complaining.' Yoongi then added suddenly. 'This was something that i knew from the very beginning. That i would be crowned as the King. Time just seemed to move faster than i could have ever guessed.''It truly does.' Jin hummed. There was silence for a moment, as Yoongi crossed his arms and looked at the scenery in front of him. He enjoyed the quietness and calmness that came from looking at the forest in front of him. It was a simple way to receive relaxation and calmness, as his life was so hectic at the moment. But he just needed to enjoy the small simple things.'Things will change for the better.' Yoongi then said, turning to look at Jin.Thinking positively in the midst's of feeling down was Yoongi's specialty. He knew things would not be easy, even after his coronation, as he would need to work harder than before to make others know him. But he knew he could do it, and with the help of others he would make Solaria a great Kingdom that it once was.Jin admired that. He admired the way the other could stay so positive and think for the future, even when he had to do some things that he did not wish to do. Jin heard the rumors, of how hard the other tried not to become the King. But still they ended up here.'I believe you.' Jin then said, stopping on his feet as he stood in front of the other. 'Things will still look bad for a while after this all ends, but i believe you can make a change in the future. Solaria needs a King like you.'To his surprise, Yoongi shook his head. 'No, i am not able to do it all alone as no one is.' He spoke. 'I need the help and support of others who i know i can trust. A King needs his advisers, and i am beginning to believe that the castle needs a change.'Jin nodded his head, knowing what the other meant by his words. It was odd knowing that the future King worked with the old advisers who helped his father, which clearly left Solaria in a bad place because of it. The current advisers didn't see the current world as it was, but instead as how it was many many years ago. Their advise was old and not fit for current situations. Yoongi knew there needed to be a change made in order to help Solaria grow further and into the future.'I need people who i know i can trust and who know well when it comes to Solaria's past and history. I want the advisers to be wide knowing, having come from different places and who hold different opinions.' Yoongi spoke, thinking hard. 'I have been thinking.' He murmured. 'And i believe it would be an honor to have you help me as an adviser and coworker, as you know so much. Having a creature work inside the castle would be a first, but i believe that is exactly what should be done. It would cause rumors and heated conversation, but that is what i want. People need to have serious conversations about it, finding their own opinions instead of the ones they were taught to have.' Jin blinked a few times, slightly taken back by what the other was asking him. 'You'd want me to be your adviser?'Yoongi laughed. 'I know it sounds sudden and odd, but i would just like you to think about it for a while. I would never want to force you to answer my request immediately.' Yoongi assured the other. 'I have been thinking about it for a while now, and i believe it would be a great opportunity for creatures to make themselves be seen as proper members of the society. You would be the first and could make a huge difference.'That was true, as Jin would be the first creature ever to be working inside the castle as someone with a higher voice and on a place with power. His opinions would be taken into consideration and would bring in new information and facts. It would be a great opportunity while he was staying inside the castle, but he was not completely sure.Jin nodded his head. 'I agree with you.' He then said, but sounding slightly skeptical. 'But i do have to confess that i am not completely sure if i should take your request.' He then said.Yoongi smiled. 'Like i said, i would like you to think about it before answering. Do not hurry yourself as there is time.'It sounded like Yoongi was being serious. He truly wanted him to think about it and answer him later when he was ready. This was odd to him, as Jin would have never guessed that the other wanted his help and advise so much to the point where he was willing to make him a part of the few working together with him. To everyone else, working together with the King would be a great honor, but Jin wasn't completely sure.He wanted to go home, wherever his home might be right now. He wanted to find it again, as it wasn't inside the castle. Jin wanted to see the old small fairy villages again in the tree tops and find others like him. The sad part about this wish was that it wasn't sure if any of those things were left anymore. For all he knows, he might be the last flying fairy in all of Solaria right now. The thought gave him shivers.Jin was safe inside the castle and had a roof over his head, food provided to him and the ability to clean himself. He felt foolish for even thinking about leaving a place like this as it would be suicide, but the hollow feeling in his chest was forcing him to find some pieces that reminded him of his childhood and what was before all this happened. Jin was torn between two worlds, and he didn't know where to belong anymore.Jin sighed. 'I will tell you my answer by tomorrow, after everything has calmed down after the coronation.' He said to the other. Yoongi then reminded him again that he did not need to set a date for himself when to answer his question and that he should not hurry himself, but Jin felt it was better this way. After that was done and out of their way, Jin turned to look at Yoongi once more. 'I hope you didn't waste all this time just to come here to ask me that, when you could have used it to sleep and rest before the ceremony.''I would not call it a waste.' Yoongi laughed. 'But no, that was not my whole reasoning to why i came here at a moment like this.' He then added. 'I also wanted to properly thank you for what you did previously.'Jin shook his head. 'I only did what i thought was right.' He spoke. 'I knew Jimin was out there somewhere, and i wanted to help find him.''Not everyone would have done the same.' Yoongi then said. 'Many would have taken advantage of the situation and asked me for something, as i am in such a high position. Instead, you asked me to trust you and nothing else.'Jin supposed he was right. He could have asked Yoongi for something in favor of saving the Prince. He could have asked for money or any other possessions and he would have most likely been given them. But that option didn't even cross his mind then. Perhaps because he never left like he was in such a position where he could be the one making the rules. Also because he was not that kind of person, and Yoongi could tell that.'You have a rare kind soul.' Yoongi smiled. 'Not all have the ability to help others like you did, and i admire that so much. A simple thank you would not be enough to pay for what you did for me and Jimin. He will come back home safely thanks to you.'Jin slightly shook his head, feeling his cheeks and ears get red. He was not used to hearing such words targeted towards himself. He felt slightly taken back by all the compliments towards himself, and especially since they came from the other.Jin had always been kind to others as it was the way he had been raised. He understood the concept of being able to act tough and control the situation, but he could never do what Yoongi said most people would have done if they had been him.Jin had really nothing left to say, as he was left slightly speechless. But he still managed to murmur out a simple 'Thank you', as the other stared at him so fondly.Jin then cleared his throat, looking away from Yoongi who seemed to only have his eyes on him. 'I believe you are very busy and should head back to the castle before the ceremony.' He quietly reminded the other who just smiled sweetly.'Ah, i believe you're correct.' Yoongi spoke, standing there with his hands behind his back. 'I enjoyed being able to speak with you like this, and thank you again for what you did.' The two of them shared a short conversation about the ceremony before Yoongi needed to leave. He was sure his guards were beginning to get restless as they noticed him being gone, so he should return already before they declare he has run off or been taken.Jin was relieved that the other was leaving, as his continuous smile and small kind comments were making him feel odd, and he would like to say ever uncomfortable. But in reality he just felt uncomfortable because of the way that his wings would flutter slightly even when he tried to make himself stay still or how his ears continued to get even more red.Yoongi finally made the move to leave, beginning to walk away from the tree that they spoke next to. He did make sure to turn around one last time and look at the fairy who already managed to let out a sight of relief.'I found the sight of you flying very amazing, quite beautiful in fact.' The murmured while walking away backwards, keeping his eyes on Jin. 'You are more than free to practice your flying near the castle as well, not just here where you are hidden.' And if that wasn't enough to make Jin almost choke on his own spit, the other felt the need to add this as well;'Or perhaps it would be better this way, since not many would be able to see you here. Only i would know to come and see you, leaving this handsome image all to myself. Quite selfish of me.' The other laughed, finally turning around with a final goodbye.Jin wasn't able to respond to his comment, quite obviously. As he was too busy trying to keep his breathing stable. When he was sure that the other had gone far enough where he wasn't able to hear him anymore, Jin let out a deep sigh and turned around to face the tree. He then closed his eyes and let out a frustrated sound while covering his very hot cheeks with his hands.He crouched down, now fully covering his face with his hands. He sighed once again, his voice muffled. 'What have i gotten myself into?' He whimpered out. * Taehyung stood next to his men, his uniform on and back straight as he held his position in front. Many were watching as they stood in the back of the room, welcoming inside the main character of the ceremony. Music played by the small orchestra was heard and the guests stood up in the great hall, welcoming inside the royals who they had been waiting for quite some time already. Fake smiles were worn on their faces as people began to gather to their seats. First to enter where the advisers, who walked in a clean line dressed in their decorative robes.Next to enter was Jungkook and his mother, representing what was left of the current royal family since Jimin was absent.Jungkook walked next to his mother who was already shedding tears, holding onto her son for support. Jungkook wore a clean suit with a robe on top, dragging across the decorative floor. His clothes were decorated with gold and sparkle, a heavy sword hanging from his belt. He looked stunning and Taehyung had a hard time staying completely still at the sight of the other.A moment passed as everyone was seated and inside the royal church. Many people were waiting outside to catch a climbs of the new King. Some of them stayed quiet and waited while being still, but others were vocal and wanted to try and get inside. Many guards watched over the area, guns loaded and weapons ready to be pulled out if something were to happen.Everyone inside the castle had a quick check done on them before they were allowed inside the church, just to make sure they held no weapons. All safety measures were taken, in order to make the area as safe as possible for the coronation. Yoongi's safety needed to be the number one priority, and no mistakes were allowed.Yoongi walked inside accompanied by more guards. People watched in awe as he walked inside with his decorative clothes, that only a King could wear. He made the rich look poor inside the room.Taehyung swallowed deeply as he watched his friend walk up to the front, bowing with the priest who would perform the ceremony. It was happening, after all these years Yoongi would finally become the King. The thought of it seemed odd and almost wrong. He couldn't believe that the other would have so much responsibility on his shoulders, as he could only remember the other as a foolish child who he used to mess around with. But that was before, and this was now.The Yoongi who he saw before him was no longer a child, but a King.The ceremony was long and well thought out. Others spoke out, telling their stories about Yoongi and how they would support his crowning as a King. Jungkook too spoke out, also telling what he thought Jimin would have said if he would have been there.Jungkook's mother shared some memories from the past, sharing what kind of a child Yoongi had been. She also shared the thoughts that his mother would have held today, seeing her own son being crowned as the King. Thought not there, Yoongi could feel her presence. It was finally time, for the coronation.The crown that had been worn by many generations before was brought inside the church, as people rose from their seats and awed out loud. It was carried inside by multiple men, making sure the precious crown got to it's destination safely.Yoongi swallowed deeply as he saw the familiar decoration up close. He could remember his grandfather and father wear the thing before. It brought back odd memories, which weren't all good. But the polished crown held other meaning as well, as he would be the one wearing it from now on.The crown was taken out of it's glass case, then given to the priest who held it with clean cotton gloves. It was all apart of the old ceremony, that seemed odd to some. But others loved the memories it brought if they had seen it happen before. Like to Jungkook's mother, who had seen both her fathers and her brothers coronation before. Now she would be seeing it for the third time.The crowd turned quiet again, taking their seats and turning their attention towards the front of the church. All eyes were on Yoongi, as he stood in front of the large crowd and waited for his part in this whole ceremony to began.The priest cleared his throat, then beginning to speak. His speech was long and slightly tiring. It would have been easier to just place the crown on Yoongi's head and call it a day with some applause, but that was not how this worked. It began with a reading of the bible and the blessing of the crown. Then became the vows where Yoongi finally got to show his part in all of this.The vow was regular and had nothing too special in it, but Yoongi did like to bring out his biggest wish which was to make sure Solaria would began it's transformation into a more united Kingdom. New laws would be made and new people would be brought to work inside the castle to assure wider knowledge in things that were important to make sure Solaria stayed as a great Kingdom. He would make sure that these things would happen once his coronation ended and his time as a King began.People showed great reaction, but you could never tell if it was acting or sincerity. The rich and famous in the crowd were known to be great actors and someone who would show their fake appreciation in front of Yoongi as he was in such a powerful place. Yoongi ignored them all and focused on the important part, which was to bring this ceremony to an end.The priest raised his voice, calling out Yoongi's father and other ancestors as he lifted the crown in his hands. Yoongi kneeled down onto his one knee and lowered his head, closing his eyes as he attempted to keep his raising heart beat down.The priest said his final words, declaring Yoongi as the new King of Solaria. He carefully placed the crown on top of the others head and stepped back while clapping his hands. Yoongi stood up, crown on his head. He was accompanied by the loud cheers of the people in front of him, as they all clapped and cheered for him. Yoongi stood still and modest, eyes following the people in the crowd. 'Long live the King!' The priest finally said, bowing behind Yoongi and causing everyone else to do the same. Yoongi looked at the crowd in front of him, all bowing down to him like a god. The image was enough to make his mouth dry and heart rate quicken.Once the people lifted their heads, the music from the small orchestra began to play again. People began to clap their hands again, cheering and bowing again and again as Yoongi began to take his first steps down the hall.It all happened so fast.A shot was heard, and Yoongi saw people began to panic from the corner of his eye. The priest behind him fell down, rolling down the steps. Yoongi did not turn to see what had happened, as he soon took cover when more gun shots could be heard inside the church.People were screaming, trying to get out of the castle and taking cover behind their seats. Guards rushed to Yoongi's side, weapons pulled out and ready to be used. It was chaos around him, so he could not hear what was going on. To his horror, Yoongi could see a lifeless body laying down on the floor, lifeless eyes staring back at him as he was pulled away from his spot.'We need to secure your safety.' A guard spoke as they began moving Yoongi out of the sight of others and to the back of the church, where there was another exit. Yoongi's first thought was to stay back and protect the people inside the church, but the realization that his life was the most important right now hit him. There were no more shots heard, so he felt safe enough to leave the place in the hands of the guards. Yoongi was removed the room and brought to the back.He could not leave the church yet, as the thought of others wanting to attack him being outside was a threat. Instead he and a group of guards stayed still, waiting for the area to be declared as safe.Once behind closed doors, Yoongi let out a curse while kicking a nearby table. He should have known everything would not go according to plan, but he never expected innocent lives to be in danger because of him.Back inside the large hall, Taehyung had caught the culprit of the fired shots. Alarmingly, it was one of the royal guards who were the only ones allowed to have weapons inside the church.The guard fired his first shot that was targeted towards Yoongi. It missed and hit the priest, killing him. The next three shots were fired blindly, hoping to hit Yoongi who had gone to cover by the time the first shot had hit the priest. After the failed attempts, the guard attempted to take his own life by targeting his gun towards himself, but the guards who rushed to him were quick enough to stop this from happening.The traitor was caught, but it did not mean the situation was over. Taehyung's quick eyes moved around the room and caught other guards who looked unsure of their job. Taehyung became wary as the situation began to run wild.People were quickly being escorted out of the castle, as Taehyung kept an eye on all of his men. The growing uncertainty of the situation was making him go crazy, as he no longer knew who to trust when one of his own men committed such a crime. He didn't know who to trust.Jungkook rushed by him, helping his mother outside of the church. By doing so Taehyung already felt much more safe, knowing the two were alright and not hurt. He told the other guards around him what to do, making sure that they helped the remaining people get out of the castle. He then took a few more men with him and got closer to the guards who he suspected might be doing something that they weren't supposed to.Taehyung and his fellow guards got closer to the carefully, seeing as they were busy helping some people get out. Once the civvies were out of the picture, Taehyung did not hesitate to pull out his weapon and target it towards the suspicious guards. With the help of his other guards, Taehyung successfully managed to remove the weapons off of the suspicious guards and tie them down so they were unable to do any possible harm like the one guard did.Once this was out of their way, Taehyung turned his attention back towards the room where he saw Yoongi being taken.The situation outside was still unknown, as people could be heard screaming and crying due to panic. It was still unsure whether there were more dangerous people outside who were capable of hurting Yoongi. It was also unsure if Yoongi was inside the room with guards who could be trusted. Taehyung never thought he would find himself in a situation like this, where he could not trust his fellow guards. It was a feeling like there were enemies all around him. Taehyung sighed as he walked past the two bodies near the front of the church.Taehyung walked to the door of the room, knocking on it and identifying himself so the door would open. Once it did, Taehyung was sure to ask if his friend was alright.'Have you been hurt?' Taehyung asked once he stepped inside the room and studied the situation. Yoongi was accompanied by four other guards, who Taehyung all knew personally and could hopefully trust.Yoongi shook his head, giving Taehyung a big relief. He then let out a sigh and turned to the others again. 'The shots came from a guards gun. It was an inside job.' He murmured, letting out a frustrated sound as he spun around. He needed to come up with a plan. It was not safe to keep Yoongi inside the church and this room. If other guards were inside this traitor plan, they could come in at any moment as they would be trusted due to their uniform. Yoongi was speechless when hearing Taehyung's news. He couldn't have guessed that the gun shots came from a guard. This made the situation even more terrifying, as the attacker had been someone he was supposed to trust his life with.'Do not let anyone else enter the room, this is a strict order.' Taehyung then said, turning to Yoongi. 'I will have to look at the situation for a moment, and find a safe time when you could be moved back to the castle. During that time, you cannot leave this room.' Taehyung ordered the other. And Yoongi couldn't really do anything else, as it was too dangerous. He needed to trust Taehyung and leave this to him.Taehyung left the room with a deep sigh, hand ready on his gun. He stood in the middle of the now abandoned church.Who could he trust? How many were in this secret plan to kill the King? Who started this all? Were others in this as well and not just the guards? These were the questions running through his mind.Taehyung knew that there were many who would like to hurt Yoongi and over thrown him. Many had voiced out their concern over him becoming the King, and they took special measurements when letting the people inside the castle, but no one could have guessed that the enemy was inside all along.This would not be an easy job to do, Taehyung knew that much. The castle needed to be high alert when it came to protecting Yoongi. But Taehyung didn't know who the ones protecting him could be now that it was unsure how many guards were in on the plan to kill him.This was not an easy thing to solve, but Taehyung was ready to do whatever it takes to crack this case open and bring the traitors in front of the law. His thoughts were alerted once again when he heard more gunshots being fired outside the church. * Namjoon looked at the lake beneath him, leaning against the tree trunk and hugging it tightly so he would not be seen by the humans beneath him.Three humans were camping near the lake that Namjoon visited regularly for fish and clean water. The small family had put up a tent and most likely spent the night there. The father was fishing from the lake, his young daughter watching him as the mother was washing some laundry near them. Namjoon turned around and hopped from the tree to another, deciding not to go near the humans. Usually he would have just gone and drove the humans away, but he decided not to this time. He could always collect water from another place and instead leave the humans alone. He wouldn't have done so before, but seeing the young girl in the group made him want to not get in their way.Instead he headed towards another spot that he knew would be safe for him to collect water and other needed supplies. Namjoon chose to move through the trees, finding it more safe than going near the ground. He had heard a witches scream the previous night, so he had a feeling that something was up. Perhaps more witch hunters had came to the area, or the witch was up to no good. Either way he decided to play it safe after everything that happened.Namjoon hopped from a tree to another, moving quickly and like smoke in the morning sun.The night had been sleepless for him, as he watched over Jimin who fought his high fever. The other had gone from being able to walk and move to being only able to lie down and not move at all. Namjoon continued to heal him every way he knew how, sing different magic and potions. None seemed to work at first, but he wasn't going to give up on the other. Namjoon continuously healed the other through the night, and like a miracle- his condition began to get better during the early hours of morning. Having used all the water that they had into the potions that needed to be made, they now needed more water and Namjoon left to gather it.There were no wells near the area, as humans always destroyed them when finding out that creatures used them as well. That or they poisoned the water inside them that led to the death of the creatures that dared to drink from that. Now the only place to gather water from were small rivers and lakes around the area. They were a small trip away, but Namjoon moved swiftly with his powers and broom.He soon arrived to another spot and carefully came down from his tree, lading onto the ground. Once there, Namjoon removed his backpack and opened it, revealing many bottles that he had taken with him from the cottage.He began to fill them near the shore of the lake, taking the cleanest water that would be boiled after he gets back home. He saw small fish swim in the surface of the water, spinning around in small groups. The fish were too small to eat and get full, so they should be left there until they grow bigger. Once he filled the bottles, Namjoon turned to the nearby bushes and studied the different berries and leaves that they produced. He packed a few things to go with him and left the area with his backpack on him.He studied a local haunted building for a moment, usually finding things that other witches had left around the place like crow feathers and burned pieces of book pages, as they were used for different ceremonies. He found nothing like that this time, but instead a small pocket knife that had been left on top of the old fireplace. It looked like it was from a human, but he took it anyway.He found nothing else inside the cottage and began to leave the place, carefully walking outside to check the area before running off. He heard nothing, but birds singing and the wind rustling the dry bushes around him.He quickly hopped on top of the cottage and onto a tree branch from there. His dark clothes gave him good coverage from anyone who would be able to see him, but he didn't feel like he was in any kind of danger as he quickly moved from a tree to another.It was when he was getting closer to his Nanna's cottage that he began fearing that maybe someone had been following him after all. Namjoon moved faster, gaining space between himself and whoever he thought was following him.He lead the suspicious thing behind him that he thought he had heard away from his home, taking a quick left and running through the forest.Namjoon jumped higher and took cover behind a branch, listening and staying quiet. His breathing was unsteady and loud against the tree he was holding onto, but he forced himself to stay quiet. He carefully studied the ground beneath him, looking for what he thought he had heard.Perhaps it had just been a harmless animal and he had just over reacted. Maybe it was just the wind that drove him so paranoid. But he wasn't taking any risks. Namjoon stayed quiet, and listened.A howl was heard a moment later.Namjoon let out a sigh. It was a werewolf who had been near him and began to follow him after he ran off.It did not make sense to him that a werewolf would have ran after him, as wolves are known to stay away from witches as they are much stronger than them and are known to kill the wolves that come near them. Namjoon has never attacked a werewolf or been attacked by one, as the creatures have become so rare.Namjoon listened some more, and didn't hear an answer. This wolf was not travelling in a pack, but alone. That was foolish of the wolf and almost suicidal to be howling like that, as others would know his destination.Namjoon was sure the wolf had gotten his scent and was following it to lead it to the witch. Namjoon also knew that the wolf would be able to realize that it had caught a witches scent, and that they should know better than to come after him all alone. Namjoon stayed still and waited to see some movement.He heard nothing, but slowly reached for his wand in his pocket, taking a tight hold of it. He balanced himself on the tree branch he was on, leaning down to see better. He waited for a moment, almost believing that there was no one there after all.The alpha wolf then ran past his tree, before stopping on his feet and coming back. It surely knew that Namjoon was there above him.Namjoon steadied his hand, taking a tight grip of his wand and preparing to jump down to challenge the lone wolf. It was then that the black wolf looked up to him.Namjoon froze for a moment, then placing his wand back inside his pocket. 'Hoseok?'Namjoon could recognize those eyes, as he clearly remembered what the werewolf looked like. He quickly jumped down and stood next to the wolf, who now waved his tail excitedly.Hoseok quickly transformed into his -non clothed- human form and greeted Namjoon with a wide smile. Namjoon was quick to offer the other his coat but Hoseok refused the offer and grabbed a small pouch that had been hanging from his neck while he was in his wolf form. Hoseok opened it to reveal a set of clothes that had been folded neatly.'Jin packed this for me.' Hoseok spoke as he quickly dressed himself. 'The fairy.' He then added as he realized Namjoon never got to hear the others name.'Have you been staying together inside the castle?' Namjoon asked, curious to hear what the two had been up to ever since he left. Last thing he remembered from the two was that Jin attempted to heal the dying King and Hoseok had gone with it as well. Namjoon on the other hand escaped the castle, before the huge fight broke loose.'Yes we have.' Hoseok then spoke, his wet hair falling to cover his eyes. 'We have been helping the royals ever since the old King passed. Yoongi will be having his coronation today.'Namjoon nodded his head while crossing his arms. He would have guessed that the kind fairy and the naive wolf would want to help the humans. But Namjoon wouldn't blame them, as he too now understood how that could be helpful after speaking with Jimin.As he thought of the other, it became quite clear why the other had arrived all the way out here. 'You came to get Jimin back, i assume?' Namjoon then said, receiving a nod from Hoseok.'Jin and Yoongi saw a vision through an old tree, knowing about what happened to Jimin who left the castle. They saw that he was injured and that you saved him.' Hoseok then explained. 'Yoongi's coronation will be held today and Jimin needed to return back two days ago. When he didn't, people began to get nervous and Jin was able to help.'Namjoon hummed and nodded his head. 'I'll take you to him.' He then said.Namjoon turned around to lead the way but Hoseok quickly grabbed his hand and made him turn around again.'There is one more thing.' Hoseok then said and looking at the witch. 'I did not come alone.'Namjoon stood still for a moment, then immediately looking around himself. Hoseok noticed his panic and tried to calm him down. 'Don't worry they aren't near us right now, as i left them behind when i finally caught your scent.''But you howled.' Namjoon spat out, pulling his hand away from the others grip. 'They will be here in a moment- and who are 'they' that were are even speaking about? Did you bring the fucking guards with you?'Hoseok stood silent and Namjoon let out a sigh. 'You have to be joking, you couldn't have done that.''They are here to help.' Hoseok spoke, trying to make the other believe him. 'They know that you are not a threat and that you helped the Prince.' Hoseok added, trying to make Namjoon feel more comfortable with the situation but it was not helping.'But they also know that i tried to kill him.' Namjoon reminded the other. 'They know that i used magic on him and escaped the castle like a criminal. They know my history with humans, Hoseok. I cannot stay near them, or it will be the death of me.' Namjoon murmured as he looked in front of him.Hoseok grabbed onto his arm one more time. 'Please Namjoon, believe me. You will be safe.' He begged the other as he saw his eyes look towards the woods, looking for an escape route. 'All we need is for Jimin to come back home with us.'Namjoon let out a laugh. 'Home? Is that what you are calling it now?'Hoseok stood still, looking at the witch with a sad expression. 'Not all of us are lucky enough to still have family left and a place where we grew up, Namjoon.' Hoseok murmured. 'I am trying to make the best of out situations, that is all. I know where my true home is, but it is a place that i cannot return to.'Namjoon regretted his words, seeing the reaction from the other. He should have been more careful with his toxic tongue, but couldn't help himself as he felt so in danger. Somewhere out there near him, was a whole group of royal guards who once all wanted him dead. Now he was supposed to believe that they wanted to work together with him and not kill him instead. It was a difficult thing to believe in, almost impossible. But Hoseok wanted him to believe in it and swore by his words.Namjoon let out a sigh. 'Hoseok, i cannot let you near Jimin when the guards are after you.' He then said. Hoseok was about to say something but Namjoon interrupted him before he could even open his mouth. 'Jimin and i realized that the bounty hunters who came after him and caused his injury, was hired by the castle.''But that doesn't make any sense?' Hoseok then said, hearing what the other said.'It really doesn't. It wouldn't make sense that Yoongi would sent a paid killer after his own brother, now would it? So the one behind this needs to be someone working close with Yoongi, someone who would want to hurt Jimin.' Namjoon paused for a second, waiting for an answer from Hoseok but never getting one. The other was very confused and couldn't keep up with what he was saying. Namjoon continued despite this.'We believe that the one to send a bounty hunter after him was one of the advisers, who of course all work together. They have been against Jimin ever since he was released from jail when he dishonored his father. They have a motive to try and get rid of him. Can you see that?' And Hoseok had no other choice but to see what the other meant. 'You believe that the guards are working together with the advisers? So that is why you cannot trust them to get to Jimin?' Hoseok then asked, having understood the situation completely. Namjoon nodded his head.'They have been following you to find his scent and place, waiting to find Jimin only to kill him and then you and me. I am sure of it.' Namjoon said, hoping to make the other believe him completely when when his plan seemed slightly crazy when he was saying it out loud like this. But he truly believed in it, and knew that the guards could not be trusted as they worked together with the advisers who could have poisoned their minds by easily bribing them.Luckily for him, Hoseok understood completely.'We need to get Jimin and get out of here before the guards follow me.' Hoseok then said, scaring Namjoon sightly as he began removing his clothes, only to change into his wolf form once again. Once he was fully transformed, he began to follow Namjoon who flew past him with his broom. Now it was a fight against time on who got there first and could save Jimin. * Jin was woken from his sleep by the loud noises happening all around him. It was hard to open his eyes at first, as it seemed like he was still dreaming- or having a night mare. When he finally opened his eyes, he saw darkness around him.Jin stumbled out of his bed and opened the curtains, letting in light that he hadn't seen since falling asleep. It was calm outside, as sun shined inside the small garden between the castle walls. But the commotion outside his walls said otherwise.Jin walked up to his door quickly, attempting to open it but failing. He stood there for a moment, trying to unlock the door once again but not managing to open it. It was locked from the outside, from the hallway that connected his room to the rest of the castle.Jin stood back and looked at the door for a moment. He then ran to the door leading outside to his small backyard garden. Also locked. Confusion and panic began to set in as he noises outside of his room began to get louder and louder. Something terrible had happened.Jin ran around the room, trying every single window that he could find. Some would open but he wasn't able to fit through them. He was able to hear what was happening outside as he opened the window. He heard chaos and panic as he listened to what was going on.Jin ran to the door leading outside once again, trying to desperately open it but seeing nothing happen. He let go with a tired gasp. He had been trapped inside by purpose.Someone had gone out of their way and even locked the door from the outside of his garden and then somehow gotten back inside. Someone had also locked the door leading to the hallway, leaving him completely stuck. He had a small feeling what and who could be behind all of this.The suspicious letter that he received with the royal stamp on it made him think that this was all a part of some plan as he was told to stay inside and not leave during the day no matter what. The huge commotion going on outside didn't help his paranoia either. He was locked inside and something big was clearly happening. He felt unsafe and needed to get out.Jin studied around the room for a moment more, keeping his window open so he could hear everything that was going on outside. He could hear some words that were being thrown around by the screaming humans. He put one and two together and realized that something had happened inside the church during the coronation. Jin knew he needed to get out and go help as much as he could.Jin soon heard something behind the door leading to the hallway inside the castle.He moved quickly, grabbing a nearby chair and placing it underneath the doorknob, making it harder to open the door. He then pushed a drawer next to him so it was blocking the door slightly if it were to open.Jin backed away behind a corner and listened. The humans behind his door were guards. They opened the door using a key and tried to push the door open while arguing with each other. Jin bit his lip nervously as he wings began to glow, ready to produce any kind of protective spell that he might soon need. There was silence for a moment and Jin stayed completely still, holding his breath and closing his eyes. Just ignore him, please walk past and ignore him, he hoped in his mind as he heard the guards walk back and forth behind the door. Then there was more silence, before Jin saw a flash of light and a bunch of wood chips fly past him as the lock from the door was broken of with a shot from a gun.Jin moved fast, grabbing a nearby decoration and flinging it towards the big window in front of him, breaking it easily. He closed his eyes as glass flew all around him while more gun shots could be heard behind him, coming from the door.Jin ran towards the now open window, glass sinking into the bottoms of his feet but he ignored the feeling. Instead he ran quicker and jumped up while outside, beginning to fly away with quick wing movements.The guards now inside his room were firing shots randomly, hoping to hit him. Jin flew quickly, hiding on top of the roof where he could not be seen by the guards.He gasped heavily as he forced himself to sit down on the old tiles, having run completely out of breath. Jin cursed as he quickly studied the amount of damage that had been done to him, seeing his feet bleed before his eyes. But he was seeing way too much blood that could be caused only by the shards of glass.Jin cursed as he moved his arm, realizing it was causing him pain. He shakily removed his sleeve with his other hand, ripping it from the seam. Jin saw his upper arm covered in dark blood, a deep wound caused by the flying wood chips staring back at him.He hissed as he looked away from it, his shaky body hurting more now that he was beginning to run out of adrenaline.Even when his hands were unsteady, Jin was able to count to three and blindly grab onto the hanging piece of wood that has pointing from his injury. He cursed and released his hot tears as he removed the bloody piece and threw it next to him.Tears were covering his vision as he gasped out for breath. He drew blood when biting his lip, concentrating to create some magic with his other hand. His fingers glowed slightly, creating some healing magic that would be able to relief his pain for now. Jin pointed his shaky fingers towards his injury and closed his eyes as some of the pain was removed.A creature could only heal themselves to some point, but not completely. Jin would not die from his injury now, but he would be in pain and unable to fully use his arm for a few days. This meant that his powers were also weaker, as he could only perform on one hand.Jin quickly moved to his feet when he still had some strength in himself left to heal himself. He tried to remove as much of the glass as possible, thankfully seeing that there wasn't that much there after all. With a quick healing spell, he was back on his sore feet and up.Jin used the teared off sleeve to tie some cover around his injured arm so that nothing would get to it while the wound was still not fully healed. It wouldn't protect him for ever, but hopefully until he would be able to get proper healing done.Jin walked up to the edge of the roof, looking down at the crowd of humans who surrounded the church. He saw lifeless humans lying on the ground, as well as guards who fought each other. There was gunshots being fired and actual fire being lit around the yard as barrels of gasoline were destroyed near the bodies. It was a bloodbath.Jin could escape. He really should.He could just fly away to the woods and save himself from all of this. But he couldn't, as the thought of those important to him being down there with those horrible people was in his mind. Jin could not lose more important people in his life.He knew that Yoongi, Jungkook and Taehyung were down there. That thought alone was enough to drive him to walk up to the edge and look down one more time. Before finally jumping down. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Jimin held onto Hoseok's fur tightly as he rode on top of the other.The wolf ran fast through the woods, jumping gracefully and making quick turns, still being careful as he carried the sickly prince on his back.Jimin had his eyes closed tightly, as cold wind hit him from every direction and rain beat their backs.Namjoon flew over them, his dark cape flowing in the wind as he dodged the trees around them. The witch made sure that nothing would be in front of them from up above. He also lead Hoseok, as he knew the woods better than the wolf. Hoseok looked up ever now and then to make sure he was still following Namjoon.When reaching the cabin, the two of them wasted no time in telling Jimin the situation and taking him with them. The Prince who was still slightly out of it and had a fever, was clearly confused to what was happening, but he said nothing and believed the two.Before leaving the cabin, Namjoon used a protective spell to protect the old cabin. It would be dangerous for a human to enter the area as the spell would make the them sleepy and vulnerable if they stepped near the area.Namjoon also left small spells near the trees around the cabin, warning his Nanna who would return in a few days. Namjoon would not be able to see her again in a while, so he felt the need to at least inform her that he was alright.There was no sight of any guards then, but Hoseok could smell the dogs that the guards brought with them. They would come soon, and they couldn't waste any time, so they left the cabin quickly.They took a different route towards Solaria, as Hoseok knew the route that the guards were taking. They couldn't run into them, as it could be too dangerous.It was not sure whether Namjoon was correct about what he and Jimin thought about the advisers and guards working together, but the possibility was there. If the advisers were the ones to send a bounty hunter after Jimin in order to kill him or to capture him, there was a chance that the rescue team coming after him could be inside the plan to get rid of him as well. And they couldn't really take any chances.Namjoon didn't need to come. He could have just stayed back at the cabin while Jimin would have left with Hoseok, but he now felt like he had some kind of responsibility in this all as well. He felt the need to come and help as well.He heard of the way that Hoseok and Jin had began to help the castle and by creating new laws that would help the creatures in the future. They were making a difference during their time, and Namjoon could do the same if he were to join them. He had nothing to lose, as staying at the cabin was not an option. So might as well follow them.Namjoon's purple eyes glowed in the dark as he looked at the forest underneath him. He could not see any humans near them, which was a relief. He lead Hoseok and Jimin to the left, dodging a big road that could possibly be used by the guards or hunters. They traveled through the deep woods instead.The terrain was difficult to move through, but Hoseok managed to travel through it just fine as he easily jumped over any big rocks and fallen trees. He did need to slow his pace at some points as Jimin struggled to hold onto him and needed to fix his position. But despite the rough ride, he managed to held onto the fluffy fur of the wolf quite easily.It took a while, and it seemed like forever to Jimin who's fingers were becoming numb due to holding on for so long, but they finally reached the edge of the forest.They could already see the lights shining through the trees, coming from the village of Solaria. It was morning, so the sun had reached them already. They avoided the busy village and followed the tightly grown trees instead, staying in their cover.They traveled up the famous hill leading up to the castle. Hoseok could already see the high walls of the castle, when Namjoon suddenly came down from his heights and flew in front of the other.Hoseok's paws sunk into the soil as he made an emergency stop. He let out a small growl, as if to voice out his sudden confusion.Namjoon held a finger above his lips, telling the others to stay quiet. Jimin held his breath as he hid his face in the dark fur of the wolf.Hoseok's ears turned towards the castle, listening to what Namjoon might have seen. It took a moment, as his loud heartbeat calmed down slightly, and then he was able to hear what the other was warning him about.Gun shots, many of them.Jimin stayed still, also hearing the dangerous sounds coming from the castle. He looked up towards the direction of the castle. The fear of his brother and friends being there as guns were being fired was enough to make his stomach drop.'Something must have happened at the coronation.' Namjoon murmured, leaning against his cane as he looked at the direction of the castle. 'I assume that there was an attack.''We need to help.' Jimin then said, voice weak and tired. He was still fighting his injuries and was in pretty bad shape. It would be suicidal to try and take him anywhere near the castle.Namjoon stayed quiet for a moment, watching at the two. 'I need to check and see what is going on.' He then said, looking at Hoseok. 'You stay and make sure Jimin stays safe, while i will fly over the area and see what has happened.'Jimin murmured out something, not agreeing with his plan, but Hoseok slowly blinked his golden eyes and let out a huff of air. He agreed to stay behind until Namjoon would return.Namjoon ordered the two to go an travel further away from the castle and village, as it was unsure if humans would be roaming around the area due to the commotion happening at the castle yard. Just to make sure that they stayed safe, Hoseok left the area with Jimin and would only return when Namjoon would come collect them back. If he were to never return, Hoseok would come back only after a few days.But Namjoon was not worried about himself. He was sure he would come back in a few hours to tell the two it was alright to enter the castle yard, after seeing that the cause of all that noise wasn't anything too serious.That was what he thought before he flew near the area.Namjoon could see fire and bodies. He heard guns being fired and swords swing as he flew over the area quietly. It was pure chaos. Namjoon noticed the guards, who fought against each other, while all wearing the same uniforms. Namjoon had been correct about some of the guards working against the royals after all. He wondered what would have happened if he would have lead the guards who followed Hoseok over to Jimin. The Prince would have surely been dead.Namjoon flew on his cane and reached the highest point in one of the castle towers. He held onto the decorative statue for support and he looked down at the castle yard. This all resembled the scene from the previous fight, during the night when the King passed away and he escaped. He only saw a glimpse of the fight that night, but he had an idea that it escalated into something like this pretty quickly. Namjoon hurriedly began to search through his bag, looking for every potion that he might have had with him. His precious wand was in his front pocket, ready to be used at any given moment.Namjoon found a small glass bottle that held a small amount of water inside of it that glowed in a shade of red. It was a potion made to protect him from fire damage, the most dangerous to a witch.As witches had healing blood flowing inside of them, it was hard to kill them. The most effective way to kill a witch was to use emerald, as it was poisonous to them or continuous fire. Many witches were killed on bonfires, as the constant flames made it so that it was impossible to heal.Namjoon opened the small bottle and brought it to his lips, tasting the bitter taste of the liquid. He shook his head slightly after downing the bottle, placing it back into his small bag. Namjoon coughed a few times, feeling the spell beginning to work it's magic inside of him.Namjoon looked back down at the crowd of people, seeing what would be the best to do in such a situation. He saw the big amount of people gathered around the royal church. It became quite clear that the King must still be inside of the building.Namjoon rolled up his sleeves and placing a hood on top of his head. He took a hold of his cane and made it levitate in front of him, before hopping onto it.Namjoon let out a sigh, taking out his wand and pointing it towards the crowd of people. They were all bad, was what he kept telling himself. He was doing this to save the ones who deserved it. Namjoon began to fly down the castle tower, wand targeted towards the people underneath him. A glow of blue left his wand, hitting the humans fighting on the ground level. Namjoon closed his eyes as he heard the screams and yells coming from the humans.Namjoon had just used blue fire on the crowd, making many of them injured and unable to fight. He was able to take many of them out, but also made himself seen by the humans. Gun shots were then targeted towards him.Namjoon flew behind a tower, hearing as bullets shot against the rock wall bounced of and chipped the old wall. Many tried to kill him off, having seen him fly over the crowd. Namjoon was about to go back in, taking out his wand again and prepare himself for round two, when he was pulled back behind the covers of the tower.Namjoon hurriedly pointed his wand towards the one who pulled him in, ready to blast a fire spell towards the brave idiot. But he stopped, as he stared into the eyes of a familiar fairy.'Jin?' Namjoon asked, confused as he quickly pointed his wand another direction. 'What is going on?'Jin looked at the direction of the coming fire, as shot towards Namjoon were still made. The two of them stood behind a tall tower, safe from the coming bullets and arrows.'I was not there to see what had happened, but i believe than an attack was made towards Yoongi during the coronation.' Jin murmured, studying Namjoon who stood in front of him. Namjoon did the same and noticed the obvious injuries that the fairy had received.'Have you been shot?' Namjoon then asked as he saw the poorly healed wound on his arm and bloodied clothes. There was a cut across the fairy's cheek and one of his wings had a small burnt hole in it, most likely from burning arrows.Jin shook his head. 'It was not a bullet, but an explosion of wood that caused me this injury.' Jin murmured and looked at the witch. 'The guards tied to kill me by locking me inside my room and then entering through the front with weapons. I managed to escape barely, but not without injuries.''So the guards have turned against the King.' Namjoon said, being absolutely sure that his thoughts on the whole plan going on behind the King's back was true.'Yes, i believe so.' Jin sighed, face moving with a painful expression as he moved his arm. 'How did you know about it?' He then asked, hoping to make the witch forget about his injuries for now. They wouldn't have the time to heal right now, as they were still targeted by the guards.'I was caught by two bounty hunters a few days ago, who told me they were after the Prince, Jimin. They were hired by the royal castle, and i do not believe the King would want to kill his own brother.' Namjoon spoke, turning his back to Jin for a moment and looking to see if any guard had managed to climb up the tower. They were safe for now.'The guards hired them to go after Jimin?' Jin spoke, thinking about what Namjoon had just told him. 'How would have they managed to do that? And why?'Namjoon quickly shook his head. 'Some of the guards are in on the plan. I believe that the ones behind creating the plan to kill the royals were the advisers.'Jin stayed quiet for a moment, and all they both heard was the commotion happening down below them on the yard. Jin then nodded his head. 'I can see that. They would have had a motive, after the old King passed. They have never agreed with Yoongi's decisions that he has made after his father passed. Perhaps they were desperate to eliminate him.'Namjoon nodded his head. 'It is the only logical explanation that we could come up with.'At the mention of 'we', Jin immediately turned to the other again. 'I want to thank you for what you did, for him.' He spoke. Namjoon looked at him, confused for a moment as he couldn't tell what the other meant by his words. But he soon remembered what Hoseok had told him, about how Jin had seen it all when looking through the trees. He had seen what happened when Jimin was injured and how he saved him.Namjoon looked away, shaking his head. 'I didn't do anything. It was he who saved me, and i only returned the favor.' He could not see it, but Jin was smiling slightly as he looked at the witch.'I know.' He then said. 'But that was enough.'Namjoon silently nodded his head, looking down at the church below them. The chaos had not gone down one bit, but gotten more out of control instead. Something needed to be done, or innocent lives would be wasted for nothing. Jin knew this as well.'I believe Yoongi is still inside the church, accompanied by a few guards who seem to be on his side.' Jin spoke. 'There is no way of telling which guard is on which side, as they all wear the same and stay seemingly neutral at first. But more and more have been turning their backs and fighting against the King's men.''So we shouldn't trust anyone.' Namjoon sighed and Jin simply just nodded his head. This would not be an easy fight.'The head guard, Taehyung can be trusted. As well as the King's cousin and his mother.' Jin murmured. 'I don't know about anyone else, and that makes the situation a lot harder for us.''Yeah. Also, that you have a whole part of your arm missing.' Namjoon sighed, looking at the injured fairy again. Jin just smiled weakly.'A little blood never killed anyone. I will be fine.' He assured the other, even when he wasn't so sure of himself either. He could still do spells and use magic, so his part in this fight was not over yet. He would rest when this was all over.Namjoon nodded his head, sighing as he took out his wand again. 'Don't blame me when i won't be crying at your funeral.' With that said, he was flying down the side of the tower again.Jin let out a laugh, watching as the crazily brave witch dove into the crowd of people and used his spell, trying to look who were the guards fighting against protecting the King. It was hard to see a difference, as it just looked like if everyone were fighting against each other.Jin looked at his choices. He could join Namjoon and try to eliminate as much of the guards as possible. But more things needed to be done. If now only he and Namjoon knew about the advisers being apart of this all, Jin needed to make sure that they could not create anymore harm or escape. He needed to find them and stop whatever they were trying to do in the meanwhile as the fight was happening. If they could create something like this, they must have a backup plan ready to go and a good escape plan as well. Jin needed to make sure that all of those plans would get thrown right out of the window, no matter how.So instead of heading towards the yard like Namjoon did, Jin ran across the roof and entered the castle from the big window leading inside the top floor. He then dropped down to the empty, dark room and began his hunt. * Jungkook cursed as he ran through the hallways of the castle, holding tightly onto his gun as he made a sharp turn as the hallway turned left. He was panting hard and missed a step that led him to almost fall. He stopped momentarily just to lean against the wall, between two windows that shined a light through that showed him the fiery chaos that was happening outside. His shaky hand brushed across his face, feeling the sweat and specs of blood that had splattered onto him while he shot a guard up close who had been hovering over him with a knife touching his throat. Jungkook had killed people before, as an accident of course when operating on them. But shooting a person while staring straight into their eyes was something completely different.He let out a shaky breath, wiping his hand clean onto his clothes. He turned slightly, looking outside of the painted glass window next to him. Jungkook squinted his eyes as he saw the flying fire, coming from the witch he had heard of before.Jungkook took cover again, leaning against the wall while hugging his gun tightly.His mother was safe, as he escorted her inside a safe on the third floor of the castle, that only he and the royals knew about. Hopefully.Right now it was so unsure who and what he should trust. It seemed like everyone were suddenly turning their back on them, taking out their weapons and wanting death upon them. They were trying to kill the royals, and Jungkook didn't know what to do as he was left alone.He knew Yoongi and Taehyung were still out there, in the church that was surrounded by the guards who they could no longer trust. It was only a matter of time before they would make their way inside and finish the job of eliminating the King and his remaining men who stayed loyal. Jungkook couldn't just stay still, but he needed to try and come up with something.He remembers the old tales, of the castle being filled with secret doors and hidden hallways. He knows about this because he has seen some of them for himself, but not nearly close enough to all of them.But after years of studying and spying around the castle, he managed to collect some important information that could help in such a situation.Jungkook clearly remembers there being a secret door, that would lead inside the church through an under ground passage. He has never seen the door himself, and only heard rumors. But he needed to trust those rumors right now as it was his only hope.Jungkook knows more about the castle as he has lived inside of it his whole life. He knows the two only two places inside the castle that reach all the way to underground level, were the cells used to keep prisoners and storage spaces used to storage supplies and food.He was currently at the third floor, and the way down would be a dangerous one. But he needed to take the risk.He knew the castle was currently taken over by guards, who fought against him and his family. The ones who he was able to trust before suddenly wanted him dead, and it was not an easy thing to understand.Jungkook felt betrayed and foolish, as his family was suddenly put under attack by the guards who had lived with them for many may years. It felt awful to know that they had turned their backs against them just like that.Jungkook couldn't trust anyone, as he made his way through the halls. He moved quietly, one hand always ready to pull the trigger of his gun if he were to point it at anything that moved. It was dark inside the old castle, as all of the candles had been extinguished. It left Jungkook with little to no vision inside the hallway as he moved forward. It was dangerous to be moving alone like this, but he had no other choice.Jungkook came across a set of stairs, that would lead him downstairs to the second floor. But the area was too open and he was sure that guards would be moving around in that floor. He needed to a find a more discreet way down, as the chance of him being caught was too big if he were to take the stairs.Jungkook moved past the stairs, going forward and walking to the end of the hallway. There was a closed door there, that would lead you inside a small office room used by different workers inside the castle. Jungkook carefully opened the door and pointed his weapon forward as he stepped inside. There was no one to be seen, luckily.Jungkook moved quickly, removing the table cloth from the nearby desk and the long curtains. He took the old pieces of fabric and tied them together tightly, testing the knots that he made by pulling on the connected fabrics. They seemed to be tied together pretty well, as they wouldn't budge.Having tied together a long table cloth, as well as four curtains, Jungkook had a long piece of fabric to use.He wasted no time when he grabbed the quite heavy wooden chair, and threw it out of the window leading outside.The decorated glass window broke easily, dropping shards of glass on the floor and outside. Jungkook carefully peeked from the window, seeing that the chair had fallen all the way down to the bushes below. He brushed away the shards of glass that had stayed on the windowsill. Once he did this, he took the long piece of fabric and rubbed it around the leg of the very heavy wooden desk. The thing was carved out of a chunk of wood, so it would not budge unless multiple people were to try and lift it at the same time.Having done this, Jungkook took the other end of the fabric and threw it out of the window. Jungkook studied the length of the fabric, seeing that it didn't quite reach the first floor of the castle. It would bee too much of a drop to reach the ground floor, but he would reach the second floor easily.It would take a lot of strength to make it down and through another window. Jungkook also had no idea what would be behind the other window once he would land inside the room below him. Perhaps it would be filled with guards who were waiting to get him. But Jungkook still needed to take the risk.He was safe from the commotion happening near the church yard, as he was currently on the other side of the castle. So he would not be seen by the many people outside when he would be climbing down the side of the castle, but someone could still see him. In fact, Jungkook was sure that there must be a group of guards out there right now looking for him who have been given the mission of finding where he was and taking him in.It was bright outside, as it was still daytime. If anyone would pass by the outside wall or they would happen to look up, they could see Jungkook moving down on the side of the castle.He checked the knots that he made one final time, before tightly wrapping the end of the fabric around his torso. He then collected the loose fabric around his wrists, holding onto them tightly as he backed up to the open window. Jungkook's head was spinning as he made the mistake of looking down.He didn't fear heights, but anyone would be slightly scared in a situation like this if they would need to climb down from such a height. The sight of it would make anyone feel dizzy and have butterflies in their stomach.Jungkook took a deep breath to calm himself down, before taking the first step of positioning his other foot on the outside wall, feeling it hit a good stone that he could leave his foot on for a second. It would take a while before he would get down, but Jungkook also needed to hurry up, as he could not hang on forever and neither could the knots that he made with the old materials. He would hit the ground below like a rag doll if the fabrics were to tear due to his weight. He decided not to think about that for now, but picked up his pace instead.His foot slipped a few times, causing him to hold onto the self made rope for dear life as he thank ever god out there for making him not fall. The trip down was a long and nerve wracking one, but Jungkook finally made it to the second floor.When there, he sat himself onto the windowsill and studied the room behind the window. It looked seemingly empty, as there was no movement. The door was also closed, as the room had no other light coming into it than from the window Jungkook currently looked through.Jungkook took out his weapon and shielded his face with his sleeve as he broke the glass window with the back of his gun. He got a cut in his hand, but all other injuries were avoided. He jumped inside the room and studied his surroundings.Jungkook had entered a room that was used as a dormitory for the maids inside the castle. The long room was filled with beds and nightstands, as well as a separate bathroom. There was no one inside the room, as Namjoon was sure the guards had already checked this area as well and moved the maids to another location. Who knows, perhaps they were inside the plan of dethroning Yoongi as well. You couldn't trust anyone.Jungkook made his way across the room to the door leading out to the hallway. He stopped in front of it and placed his ear against the wooden door, listening if there were people behind it. He could not hear any voices, but he was unsure about movements as he could not hear too clearly because of the commotion coming through the broken window.He then carefully opened the door and peeked out to the hallway. Like he expected, it was dark and he could not see properly.Jungkook knew he had no other choice but to go through the stairs this time, as he could not take another route through the window again because he was loosing strength quickly. He needed to find a safe way to enter the first and underground floor, without being caught. It would not be an easy mission. But he needed to take that risk.Jungkook closed the door behind him quietly, moving near the walls silently as he made his way down the hallway. He listened for any noise, making sure he would not pass ways with any guard. He could not hear anything, and moved quicker as he needed to got to the stairs without being noticed by anyone. The first floor of the castle would be full of people and guards. Jungkook needed to be very careful when moving near the area unless he wanted to be caught.He finally made it to the stairs, seeing the light from outside light the steps for him as he moved quietly but swiftly. He heard speech and movement near the bottom of the stairs and froze as he stayed to listen if they were coming his way. They weren't, but instead stayed still and most likely watched over the stairs so that no one would pass through them without permission.Jungkook sighed and moved back up the stairs. He looked around himself for a moment before walking up to one door and trying to open it. It was locked. Jungkook's first idea was to try and get inside the room, to check if any guards uniforms were inside the dorm room. With the uniform, he could have possibly tried to pass through the guards. But that was no longer an option. But Jungkook had not ran out of ideas just yet. He noticed a small statue on top of a table, near the top of the stairs that he should go through. The small glass statue caught his attention and he picked it up.Jungkook stood still for a moment, studying the statue in his hands and looking back at the stair way leading down to the first floor.Jungkook then took the statue, and flung it across the hallway over to the other side.He moved quickly, hiding near the stairs and crouching down so that he would not be seen. Surely, soon the two guards guarding the stairway began to climb up the stairs at a fast speed to look for what had caused the noise. They went past Jungkook, who was holding his breath and staying as still as possible. They headed towards the hallway, as they heard the noise coming from there. This gave Jungkook the opportunity to move, and he did.Jungkook got up quickly, making sure not to cause too much noise as he moved behind the guards and left the second floor. He moved down the stairs quickly, reaching the first floor and finding himself a new hiding spot fast.This time it was behind some supplies boxes near the back of the kitchen. He was near to the stairs leading to the underground storage. There he should find a secret way leading to the church.But it would not be an easy job as he soon found out. As Jungkook watched over the stairway leading down to the storage, he realized that other had gotten the same idea as him.Guards were swarming around the area, moving up and down the stairs with guns and other weapons. They had to know about the secret way as well. But how?Sure, rumors moved around the castle but they shouldn't know about such important details. Jungkook didn't understand how the guards could have gotten such important information that should have been kept as a secret. But he started to understand what had happened, as a group of guards marched past his hiding spot, protecting someone in the middle of them.Jungkook peeked from the corner, seeing who this someone was.He was shocked to see a familiar white robe, worn by someone he had seen all his life inside the castle. He was supposed to trust this man and learn from him. Jungkook, and all of them had been betrayed.Jungkook watched as the head adviser, who worked with the old King and now with Yoongi, move down the stairs and into the underground floor.The guards knew about the passage because of the adviser. He had told them everything. He must be the reason behind why this all was happening. He had planned a revolution to stop Yoongi's coronation and to kill him off.This would mean that Jimin would have became King after the death of his brother, but he would have been dead by now already because someone with power from the castle ordered him to be killed. It all made sense now.When the royals would have been dead and unavailable, it would have been up to the advisers to decide who the next ruler should be. The obvious answer would be to choose Jungkook's mother or him, but that would not happen. They tried to get rid of them too tonight.It was all clear now. The royal advisers had turned their backs on the castle, after the death of the old King. They could not believe that Yoongi would be their new King and they would not accept it. They tried to kill him and make Solaria their own.Jungkook needed to stop this. * Jin held his breath, hearing how a pair of guards made their way down the same hallway that he was on. He made himself seem smaller by pressing himself more closer to the surface that he was holding onto. He looked up, seeing the two guards walk right past him.Jin waited for a moment, seeing that the two guards disappeared down the hallway and made a turn. Jin let go of the ceiling and landed on the floor beneath him. He stayed still for a second, waiting if someone had heard his fall- but he heard nothing. He was in the clear for now.Jin began to move through the hallways of the first floor, his wings moving silently and making him float like a ghost in the dark hallways of the castle. The golden glow of his wings followed him right behind, lighting the walls next to him.Jin had made his way through the roof and into the third floor of the castle. There he immediately skipped into the first floor by going through an open window, as the second floor had been full of guards at the time. He needed to be as careful as possible and avoid everyone.Jin flew through the hallways, checking every corner carefully before taking a new turn in case guards were waiting for him. When he heard any noises, he would fly up to the ceiling and stay there for a moment. Thanks to the high ceilings of the castle, no one would be able to see him there in the dark.His injuries were making it harder to move on his feet or use his body as his arm was biggest problem right now. One of his wings had also been shot with a flaming arrow and that created a small hole in the golden wing. He flew slightly lopsided but that was the most it had caused. He was still fully capable of flying and using magic. And he would do exactly that.Jin would use magic as soon as he would see a human try and come near him. And it would not be healing magic. He no longer feared using harmful magic, as he knew the ones attacking him and the people who he cared for deserved the worst that he could do.Jin was ready to defend the people that he knew deserved to survive this current hell. He would do everything that he could do to make sure that Yoongi and the rest would be saved. He knew where he needed to start.If the word of the advisers being the ones behind this all was true like Namjoon had told him, then he needed to start there. Eliminate the leader, then their soldiers will fall one by one.Jin needed to find the royal adviser who he knew were somewhere inside the castle. He saw none of them anywhere near the church, so they had to be inside the castle. Unless they had left the castle, but that was highly unlikely as their main goal was to be in charge of the castle in the end. So that is where he started from.Being sneaky would not get him to where he wanted in the end. As he reached the from of the first floor, he realized it was filled with guards who Jin would then identify as guards who fought against Yoongi. If they were on his side, then they would be helping in front of the castle instead of staying inside and doing nothing.But they were doing something.The group of guards swarmed around the front door next to the kitchen. Jin did not know what was behind that door, but he had a feeling that it had to be something important as it was guarded like that. Jin needed to get inside that room.Instead of moving around the place for a moment and seeing if the guards would just move at some point, Jin took action immediately.He wasted no time and jumped down from the ceiling, using a spell as soon as he was on his feet. The guards did not have the time to react in time, as a blinding light filled the hallway right before their eyes. The burning heat came and left as soon as it had first started.Jin panted as he opened his eyes, seeing the figures of the guards stand before him, frozen in time. Jin's hand shook as he let it fall, his feet tiredly beginning to move.Jin walked past the glass eyed guards, who stayed still in the position that Jin had used his magic in. Jin walked past the lifeless figures, pushing slightly to cause the guards to fall like statues so he could open the door.Magic was tiring. He could not keep using strong spells one after the other unless he wanted to die. It would take all his strength and leave him defenseless. That couldn't happen, so Jin needed to save his strongest spells for later.He tiredly pulled the heavy door open, revealing a long set of stairs leading down to somewhere. Jin watched the dark path with his mouth open for a second, before taking his first step. * The commotion outside was getting out of hand and Yoongi knew that. Taehyung needed to retreat back into the room that he was in and a few guards as well, as being outside of the small room became too dangerous even for the great guard.Taehyung had been shot at, but he hadn't been injured. The shots came from multiple people, most of them being guards who Taehyung used to trust and helped them become guards even in the first place.Taehyung felt betrayed and used. He had helped these young souls become a part of the royal guards and they do this in favor. Stab him in the back while turning their eyes away from the King who they were supposed to protect with their whole life.It was disgusting and wrong. Taehyung still felt his heart ache after he shot down those familiar faces. But it was a fight that everyone already had known the ending to, when you point a gun towards Taehyung. It is an unfair match from the beginning.What was most important was that Yoongi was alright. That was all that Taehyung needed to focus on right now, for all of their sake. The just crowned King was in huge danger of being killed and Taehyung needed to do everything that he could to keep him safe. This is what he had been made to do, as a puppet of the castle.Taehyung had been pushed to a corner. He no longer had a plan left, as their chances of making it out alive had changed a lot. They were stuck inside the small office room without any other exit, aside from the one leading inside the huge hall that was filled with people fighting to get inside.The door was secured with two huge locks as well as a table that the guards lifted up against it and were pressing up against the door as others tried to push the door open from the outside. Given the current situation, Yoongi was surprisingly calm as he stood in the corner furthest of the door and looked at the scene in silence.Taehyung glanced over to his friend every now and then, making sure he was alright. He knew his friend was strong, but he had his weak moment as well. He wouldn't wonder if the other would break down soon, seeing as he had almost been murdered just a moment ago.But Yoongi was strong. Instead of worrying or breaking down he was trying to come up with something so that they could all get out of this situation alive.He looked around the small room with frantic eyes, searching for anything that could help them. There really weren't many options, as the small room had been turned upside down when the table needed to be removed. The five of them stood in the room, waiting for a miracle that would not arrive.Yoongi needed to do something, and he needed to do it quick.He studied every surface, looking for anything that could be used as a weapon or something that would give them a better chance at staying alive. There was nothing like that.When he let his head fall between his shoulders and as he let out a sigh. Yoongi closed his eyes.So, this was it huh?This was how he would pass and move on from his current life. He would be murdered as a King but he would be buried like a thief. He would be remembered as the last King of his family name, and as the one who was crowned just for a mere few hours. He would be forgotten, as a new era would begin in Solaria.But that's not how it all was supposed to end.Yoongi was supposed to do great things with his new laws and the changes that he would bring into the lives of the Solarians. He was supposed to be remembered as someone who did something with his time as a King. He wasn't supposed to meet his end like this.Yoongi wouldn't allow that to happen. He couldn't.In his blurry state, he began to move his hands along the walls, looking for something- anything. There was nothing. Not a magical door that would open or a button that would send them down a path leading them to safety.In desperation he fell to his knees in silence. Taehyung rushed to his side as soon as he saw the other.'Yoongi.' Taehyung spoke, ignoring the fact that he was supposed to call the other his King in front of the other soldiers. This wasn't the time to be remembering useless things like that.'We can still make it. Do not give up.' Taehyung spoke to the other, placing his hand on the other shoulder and giving it a squeeze. The other did not react, as the sounds behind the one door became more louder, before there were bangs against the old wood.Yoongi looked up at his friend, a sad smile decorating his lips. He did not believe the others words, as he knew that even Taehyung himself did not believe what he had just said. This was their end.Taehyung stayed quiet, swallowing deeply as he looked over to the door where the three guards struggled to keep the door closed as more and more people began to push against it over on the other side. They were running out of time.Taehyung too let his head fall down, his eyes staying open.This was the end then.He would no longer see Jungkook and their future together. The ring hanging around his neck had never left heavier. The thought of never being able to see the other was painful. He couldn't believe it, even he knew he would someday leave like this.He felt sorry, that he could not keep his promise to the other.He did always say that he would return back no matter what. But today Taehyung would be caught lying for the first and only time. He would not be coming back home to the man that he loved.He guessed that he had let his emotions show a bit too much as Yoongi placed a hand on his shoulder. Taehyung shook his head, as if to let the other know that he was fine even when he was not.But that was not what Yoongi had noticed, instead he pushed the other slightly, causing him to get up before falling on his back. Taehyung was confused for a moment, looking at the other with an expression that couldn't be read. Before he could even say something, Yoongi opened his mouth first.'Give me your knife.' The other ordered, staring at the floor beneath them like a mad man.Taehyung stood still for a second or two before moving to collect his knife and handing it over to the other, still confused why the other wanted it in the first place. But it soon became clear.Like gone insane, Yoongi took the knife and quickly stabbed it into the wooden floor beneath them. Taehyung was about to ask his friend what was the idea behind this all, but he did not. Instead he looked in fascination as Yoongi moved the knife in a way that made the floor boards bend and finally pop off. Underneath the floorboards, was an empty space.Taehyung moved over to the other, studying the space and then attacking the floorboards next to the already removed one. Together they removed the wooden boards, throwing them over to the side until they had a hole big enough to fit a person in there.Once done, Taehyung moved the other to the side and jumped down to the shallow looking hiding spot. What he thought was a secret storage spot, actually turned out to be a hand carved tunnel underneath the church.Taehyung popped his head through the hole and looked at the faces staring back at him.'I need you to hold onto that door for a moment more.' Taehyung said to the three guards who were already struggling to keep the door closed. He turned to Yoongi and hurried him to join him underneath the ground.He then signaled for the guards to count down to three. While counting, Taehyung removed a small leather pouch that had been hanging from his belt. He held it in his hands and waited for the guards to count to three.Then, when the guards let go of the door, Taehyung threw the small pouch that he opened towards the now open door and watched as the smoke filled the small room that they had been in. The three guards quickly made their way inside the hole and they all began to make their escape through the dark tunnel, as the humans above them struggled to see because of the smoke. They were not safe or in the clear yet, but they had avoided death for now. * Jin made his way down the stairs slowly, listening carefully to what was happening at the bottom so he could prepare himself for what was to come. He expected there to be many guards guarding the storage floor, as he had a feeling that this is where the advisers had hid.Jin knew that there shouldn't be anything important in the storage floor used to keep food and supplies in them. Something else that was very important was in there also, as the group of guards had taken their spot before the door and would not move. They were guarding something important.Jin did not yet know what that something was, but he was ready to find out.He heard people speaking as he made his way down to one of the last steps. He just needed to turn around the corner and he could be face to face with the people guarding the floor. The roof was not as high as it was in the other floors, so he could not hide like he did before. Instead he needed to face these people straight on.Jin waited for a moment, hearing how the guards spoke to each other in the small storage space. He waited for a moment, counting in his head. He could hear many guards, who all spoke with each other. There must be at least ten of them, and this would not be easy.Jin bit his lip nervously, his hands forming into fists.He didn't have any other choice. He needed to use his most powerful spell when he would see those guards. That spell would drain his power and would leave him weak and make him an easy target. This would be a tough task, but it needed to be done.Jin let out a breath, his wings beginning to glow as he closed his eyes for a second.The magic was running through him in a different way. This magic would not heal or help others. It would cause death and hurt the ones around him. His body was not used to such a feeling, as he never tried such a spell before.The magic inside of him felt burning hot, evil. It made his stomach hurt and his head spin with dizziness. It felt oh so wrong, but he could not step away now. He needed to do this, for Yoongi.Opening his eyes, and seeing everything in a different light, Jin rose off his feet and hovered over the ground below him.The guards did not know what hit them as they witnessed the glowing frame of the other.Jin's both arms, lifted and pointed at the guards towards them made all of the guards drop their weapons as he attacked their arms at first.One by one, each guard dropped their weapon as their hands turned shaky and unable to hold onto anything. Some seemed angry and tried to fight what was happening, but that was impossible. Others were in shock and could not do anything.Jin's magic was running through them all, making their blood move in an unnatural way. He was inside of them all, making their limbs move in away that they could not control themselves. They were all his little puppets, as Jin made them all fall down on their knees with one move of a wrist.The men in front of him looked afraid and lost, as they should be.Jin began to slowly turn his hands, his glowing eyes burning into the minds of the men who could not look away from him.He turned his hands, bringing his fingers closer to each other as well.The shocked faces on the men's faces had turned into blank. The color of their skin began to turn into red, as all the blood was forced to travel to their heads.Jin swallowed deeply, closing his eyes.His hands still lifted in front of him, he stopped rotating them. He paused for a second.Then bringing his hands together in a way that created a loud slap noise. As soon as he did that, he felt the warm red liquid spatter over him in small dots.Jin's body fell to the floor in exhaustion. He was gasping for air and trying to open his eyes but his eyelids just felt so heavy. His body wanted to give up on himself but he could not allow that to happen.He tried to push himself up onto his feet, his shaking arms trying to push his frame up but failing.He looked around himself hazily, avoiding the bodies of the men around him.He caused this mess. He just killed the lives of all these humans, in a matter of seconds.It felt untrue, like it hadn't been him but someone else. He couldn't believe that he had it in himself to do this all. But it was true. He had done this.Jin tried again, pushing himself up with his arms. His head was hanging between his shoulders and his wings had lost all their glow and stayed still on his back, not having the strength to fly anymore.Jin paused, hearing the familiar sound of a gun being clicked.He lifted his head slowly, looking at the direction where he heard the sound coming from.Jin looked at the man straight in the eyes, as he pointed a gun at him as he had entered the room from a small door.The mans hands shook as he took a step closer, stepping over his passed friends. He swore out loud, yelling in a language that Jin could not understand.He came closer and closer, the gun still pointed at him. In the end the man came and kicked him on his side, causing him to fall back down with a grunt. Jin kept his eyes open, moving in pain as the man continued to press his shoe against his side.Jin felt so weak that he couldn't even move an arm to push the human away. Instead he lifted a hand up in an attempt to make a spell, but failed. All his strength had been drained.The man pushed himself onto him with all his weight and Jin let out a yell with all that he had left as his face turned with the pain that he was feeling.The guard moved his gun closer, pressing it up against Jin's head while saying something that he couldn't make out well. But he was sure they weren't nice words that he was saying to him.Jin's vision was blurry as he looked at the wall across from him while laying on the floor. Something warm touched his lips and he coughed. He saw the glowing red liquid on the floor in front of him.So this was how he would go? He would finally join the family that he missed oh so much. He would no longer feel alone and see the ones that he loved even after they had left him.Perhaps death wasn't that awful after all, as the dull feeling that took over his whole body felt almost comforting. It made him forget it all. The pain and suffering that he had to go through up until now. This was his reward.But he felt sad in a way. He would have wanted to do more. He would have wanted to see Yoongi one more time before going. The other waited for his answer and Jin didn't want to make him wait. Sadly, the other would never get his answer now.But that wasn't all that bothered him.He would never get to hold the others hand again like they did when no one was watching. Instead Jin would be shaking hands with the devil.The thought made him sad and a tear fell down his numb face.The human showed no mercy as he said his final words, changing the spot of the gun to point it right against his forehead instead. Jin stayed still, looking into the distance as if he was gone already. But his heart was still bravely beating, and would not give up.But that would come to an end, as the loud sound of a gun could be heard.It hurt his ears, so hear such a sound coming from so close. But oddly enough it did not hurt. Perhaps death was a sweet release after all like some always said.There was more noises around him suddenly as someone screamed in the room. But Jin couldn't tell what that voice was saying.¨Before he even realized it, his face was being grabbed and turned to look at the ceiling.Wanting to keep his eyes closed and let himself go already Jin did not see who this person was at first, until he was forced to open his eyes.He saw Jungkook, hover over him and looking worried.His mouth was moving as he touched his face, but Jin could not hear what he was saying. In fact he could not hear anything. He lost control as he could no longer keep his head still but felt it go limb against the other grasp.Jin kept his eyes open, staring into the others familiar eyes that were the only thing keeping him awake right now.The other truly looked like his mother, especially when he was crying.But why was he crying? Surely not because of him. Perhaps something had happened to Taehyung. God, Jin wouldn't allow that to happen as he knew what kind of rare feelings the two of them shared between each other.But the other could not stop crying, as he held onto him like he was something fragile and precious. Jin felt, cared for and loved.But Jin could not stay and appreciate that feeling for much longer. He was being pulled under, his eyes lids wanting to close and let him fall away for now. But he couldn't tell if he would ever come back. Perhaps this was the last time that he would see, hear or feel anything before falling into the deep nothingness.He wanted to be strong, but he was selfish.Jin let himself become limp in the others arms, letting his eyes fall closed slowly as he looked at the other.He felt cold. He felt numb.But he felt loved, thanks to the other who came for him in such a time. They all welcomed him into their home and made him their friend. Jin was grateful.He was grateful. * Hoseok growled as Jimin made a another attempt at leaving his side. The wolf jumped in front of the other and stopped him from leaving the spot they were supposed to wait in.Jimin stayed still for a moment, glaring at the other.'I can't just stay and wait here Hoseok.' He sighed. 'They all need my help!' He pleaded, but Hoseok would not move away as he just stared at the other with a serious look.Jimin sighed, letting a hand run thought his hair in frustration. 'Hoseok, please.' He tried again. 'I need to be there, as help. I want to help Namjoon and the others. I want to see my brother, even if it is for the last time.'Hoseok blinked a few times, his big golden eyes staring back at the other. He was unsure.The other was still weak, having just came down from his fever. He was unable to fight because of his injuries and he would be easy to attack. Hoseok would need to stay by his side at all times and if they were attacked, he would need to fight like mad to keep the other safe. This would be suicidal and just plain mad. He would be an idiot if he would let the other go.He shook his head, growling gently as he pushed his head between the other chest.Jimin hugged him lazily, burying his face into the warm fur of the other.'I just want to be able to help.' Jimin murmured, voice tiny and sounding hurt.Hoseok understood how he felt, as a young age he went through the same.When his father was still living and with him, Hoseok's pack had been under attack by humans one night. He was young and had only recently found out his role. He was a weak pup still going through puberty, but he wanted to help.His father did not allow that, as his father did not want to see his own son die at such a young age. But Hoseok still wanted to help. He wanted to prove everyone that he was more than just a dirty mixed breed brat that no one wanted around. H wanted to prove himself.But he was not given that chance, and it was for the best in the end though it hurt more than anyone could imagine. Because he felt weak at the time, Hoseok's pack took a big toll on it's self. They lost many that night, but he was still well and breathing. It felt unfair.Hoseok knew what Jimin was feeling and he wanted to help the other understand that this was for the best at the moment. Someday, when he was stronger and in better shape, he too would make a difference and help others.Today, was not that day. But it would happen someday. * Namjoon barely recognized the human who yelled for his name from the ground below. But he somehow managed to remember who the other was, as he remembered his face when floating down carefully.The doctor who he remembered was yelling for his name from the open castle door. The area around them was already much more calm, as the front yard of the castle was now filled with lifeless soldiers who fought on either sides.The remains of Namjoon's fiery spells still lingered in the air as the trees near the castle had caught on fire and the awful smell of burnt flesh lingered in the air.Namjoon hopped off of his cane and looked at the familiar human who once tried to heal his injuries. He remembered his name, Jungkook. He was Jimin's cousin and the other told him that he could trust him. The young doctor looked frantic and upset as he waited for the other to get inside to safety from the people still waiting further near the gates. He did not wait for the witch to speak as he quickly began walking inside the castle.Namjoon paused for a moment, then taking out his wand and following the other. * 'What happened to him?' Namjoon asked as he studied the familiar frame of the fairy laying on the floor. It did not look good, as he saw the clear signs of him bleeding on the inside and broke bones from the visible bruises on his side.Just like Jungkook told him before, he was still alive as he was breathing and he had a pulse, though it was not strong.'I came in here to find him being in the verge of getting shot in the head.' Jungkook murmured, as Namjoon glared over to the man lying near the fairy. 'He has broken ribs and is bleeding from his mouth.' Jungkook continued. 'I cannot perform surgery or any kind of operation in these conditions. He will die unless something is done.' He murmured.Namjoon nodded his head, sighing.'I know your healing skills.' Jungkook then said, looking at the witch who he was supposed to be afraid of. But instead he trusted the other. 'You could heal him from his injuries.'Namjoon stayed quiet for a moment, looking at the room that they were in for a moment. 'I need your help.' He then said, surprising the other.'I am a doctor. I will do anything that you ask of me.' Jungkook then said, walking next to the other.Namjoon swallowed, nodding his head. 'But what i am asking you to do is not something easy or simple.'Jungkook went quiet for a moment as he looked at the lifeless fairy. The same fairy who offered to give up his own life to help his family. He would pay him back for all that he did.Jungkook nodded his head. 'I'll do anything you ask of me.' He repeated himself while looking at the witch with dark eyes.Namjoon was still for a moment, studying the other to see if he would shake or seem unsure about what he said. But he stood strong and ready.Namjoon got up and opened the bag that he was holding with him. There, he would find an empty bottle and a bunch of small boxes filled with all kinds of things that he could need in a moment like this when he needed to make a special potion that would last for long in a bottle. The potions needed to be fresh in order to work.This particular potion needed to be extra fresh, as the ingredients needed in it would spoil quickly.Jungkook watched quietly as he watched Namjoon craft all the needed dry ingredients into the small bottle. Namjoon added all the dry ingredients and spun the bottle to mix them all together. It was missing the liquids. Jungkook now understood where his role came in. Namjoon slowly walked up to him, and Jungkook lifted up his arm without even needing to be told. It was almost as if he knew what was about to happen. The seemingly cold witch looked at him with worry, as if asking if he would be alright with this.'I will heal you as soon as the bottle is filled.' Namjoon murmured, his cold hands grabbing onto the ones of Jungkook.Jungkook stayed still for a moment, then nodding his head as Namjoon took a small blade from his pocket.Jungkook was not moved when the blade was skillfully pressed against his golden skin. He had seen enough blood during this time as a doctor not to be freaked out, but seeing your own blood flow so dark and quick from your wrist was an odd thing to see.He was not in pain or bothered by the feeling of watching his own blood filling the small bottle. Instead he looked in fascination as his once red blood began to turn color when hitting the rest of the ingredients in the bottle.'You truly are from the royal family.' Namjoon murmured as he placed the filled bottle down, it's now blue liquids moving slowly inside the bottle.Is that where the saying blue blooded prince came from? Jungkook thought, watching as Namjoon placed his thumb on top of his bleeding wound and massaged it over the wound a few times that made his broken skin feel like it was stinging. But just like magic, his wound soon disappeared like it had never even been there in the first place.The two of them moved back to Jin's side, Jungkook lifting him up against his chest so that he could drink the potion that was just created.Namjoon pressed a hand against the other broken ribs, his hand moving with a blue glow that caused a pained expression to grow on Jin's face. Namjoon needed to move the broken ribs to their right place before giving the other the potion, as he bones would not heal while being in the wrong spot. Re-breaking them and healing them then would be a way too painful experience.Once in place. Namjoon moved his hand away from the ribs of the other and placed the small bottle filled with the blue liquids on the other lips. Namjoon lifted his jaw upwards, opening his throat that tried to stay closed.Namjoon had never tasted the potion of life, as it would kill whoever would try it without being injured. It worked as a poison as well as a life saver.Jin coughed as soon as his mouth was filled with the potion, but Namjoon made sure he swallowed it and didn't suffocate. Having enjoyed the potion of life, Jin could no longer use the same potion if it was made by using the blood of Jungkook again. He had become immune to the others blood and could not be healed by it anymore, or killed by it.The affects of the potion were fast, as color soon began to come back into the fairies face and the wound on his arm healed before their eyes.This was the first time that Jungkook saw healing magic performed in such a way. It was incredible and beautiful.Jin came back to them coughing as the taste of the potion was still on his tongue. He breathed weakly, but managed to open his eyes.Namjoon couldn't help but break into a faint smile. 'Welcome back to the living.' * Yoongi ran next to Taehyung, followed by the remaining guards from their group.Their surroundings had changed from the small and tight space of the dark tunnel that they first came in through, and into a fully made hallway with lights decorating the sides of the walls and a proper floor to walk on.Yoongi had never know of this passage, and he was sure that neither did his father. This was a secret passage that he was not told about and not many probably knew about. But this odd passage saved his life today, for not at least.The way from the church and into the castle wasn't too long, but long enough that all of them were out of breath and weak on their legs. None of them knew how long they still had left before they would reach some kind of door or a way inside the castle. And they couldn't even guess what would be waiting for them at the end of this hall.There were probably people chasing after them right now, as they only got a slight head start to the people who manage to get into the room that they were in inside the church. They would be coming after them soon.To their fear, they did find something at the end of the hallway. But it wasn't a door or a way out. But the end to their hallway was the point where two other began.Yoongi panted as he looked at the two different hallways, leading into two whole different ways. He gasped, hands grasping his knees. Taehyung was speechless, looking at the two different directions frantically and trying to come up with something. He tried to remember where they could be right now and where each the ways would take them, but that was not an option as he had no idea where they were right now. And neither did anyone else.Yoongi finally got back to his senses, having taken a small break from all the running. He got back up straight and pointed at the direction on their right. 'It does not matter where these take us. As long as it is away from what is coming after us right now.' He spoke, moving his feet towards the right side.Taehyung stayed still for a moment, but quickly followed the other. He was right, as they just needed to get out of here for now. This would also make it more difficult for the people coming after them find them as they needed to find out which way they chose.They all took the right side and continued their run through the halls, waiting to finally see an end. That end didn't come in a while, but once it did they were all able to sigh in relief.A big door, was at the end of the hall that they had been running through for quite some time now.Yoongi did not hesitate as he opened the door, turning the old lever of the door and pushing it open. He was left frozen by what he saw on the other side of that door.It was a huge hall, decorated like the inside of the castle, only that this was not apart of the castle. As Yoongi had never seen a room like this inside the castle in his whole life. To make things even more threatening, the room was filled by royal guards who all had their eyes on him.Yoongi let out a sigh as he let his hand fall from the lever, letting it fall to his side.All the guards stood still, not moving as they watched him, weapons in hand. There were too many of them. Way too many. Even Taehyung knew this. He could not do anything.In the middle of the room, was a big round table. And sitting around that table, were all of the royal guards that Yoongi had been trusting for all this time, leading up to the coronation. It was more than obvious that they were in on the plan of killing him off and causing him nothing else but harm.They were the ones who made the guards turn on each other, creating a different army all by themselves. They were the ones behind this all, and they wanted him dead.'We were waiting for your arrival, Yoongi.' The head guard spoke, his skinny old fingers pointing at him as he stood still next to Taehyung and his remaining guards who he could trust. Or so he thought, as he was soon pushed forward by one of the guards who protected him all the way up to this point.Yoongi stood still as he studied the room and the faces of the advisers. They looked amused, as he was brought to a point of desperation like this.Taehyung and the two remaining guards were detained and taken to the side, leaving Yoongi alone in the middle of the empty floor. He stood still, his shoulders moving up and down as he panted hard.'You did this.' He murmured, the dried blood of the innocent person who was shot in his coronation still decorating his pale face.'You made this all happen.' Yoongi said, eyes closed as his hands formed into tight fists and his nails buried into his palms.'No.' A voice said, as one of the advisers spoke. 'You have no one else but yourself to blame about this all.' They spoke while pausing to take a sip from their tee. It really seemed like all of them had gathered in here for a tea break while a whole fucking war had broken lose on the yard of the castle, that they themselves had caused. 'All you needed to do was follow us son.' Another adviser added. 'You could have became a prosperous King like your father was, but instead you decided to break the well set rules. We could not allow that.'So, they wanted him to follow his fathers footsteps of treating others horribly and by making sure that the people of Solaria stayed in horrible surroundings. They wanted him to forget about the new laws and just let the creatures die off slowly until they went extinct. They wanted him to be like his grandfather and father, but he could not do the same that they did. He would never be like them.'The King needs to follow certain rules.' The head adviser spoke, his weak looking frame moving shakily as he reached for a sugar cube to but in his tea. 'You happened to break almost all of those rules, even when we tried to help you go towards a better way. We had no other choice.'Yoongi stayed still, listening to the advisers speak as he looked around the room. They were out numbered by a lot. There was no way that they would win by fighting. He could take out a few advisers, but what good would that bring when he would die in the end.'You remind me a lot of your mother, Yoongi.' The head adviser then spoke, sighing. Yoongi slowly lifted his head, looking at the adviser with dark eyes.'She was a free spirit who wanted to voice out her opinion. Poor thing couldn't understand that her opinion was not needed, as it was coming from the woman that she was. Her voice was not needed inside the castle, or near our King.'Yoongi stayed quiet, his blood boiling as he had to hear this talk about his passed mother. He had blurry memories of her but they were all kind ones. She was a kind soul who he and Jimin miss to this day.'She did not hear out warnings and something needed to be done, quite like how we needed to deal with you as well.' The adviser murmured casually, enjoying the way that Yoongi's whole frame shook with anger as he began to realize what was going on.Yoongi realized what the advisers were talking about, and he could not believe what he was hearing.'It was such a shame.' Another adviser joined the conversation. 'She was so beautiful as well. But that mind of hers needed to be stopped.'Yoongi could no longer hold himself still as he jumper forward, getting close to the table before he was stopped by a few guards who caught him quickly. 'Shut your mouth.' He spat at the smiling advisers who found his pained reaction funny.Yoongi now realized the odd sudden death of his mother. It was planned from the start all along, by the people who he and his father trusted and worked together with for years. They were the reason behind her sudden death that was diagnosed as an illness to make them all believe nothing else had been the cause.It was sick and horrible. It was something that should have been questioned, but no one cared to look deeper into it back then when he and Jimin were so young. Perhaps their father knew the reason too or then he just did not care what truly happened.Yoongi was forced to sit in front of the table with the advisers. He was held from behind by a guard as he tried to calm himself down, seeing as the advisers liked seeing him heated and wanted to make him angry. He did not want to cause them any kind of pleasure.One of the advisers hummed out then, catching everyone else's attention. 'Shall we begin then?' He asked, making others around him nod their heads.Yoongi swallowed nervously.A servant arrived from the door behind the advisers. He held a tray that had one single tea cup on it. That cup was placed in front of him on the table and the guard behind him let go of him suddenly.There was silence as everyone waited silently for something, and Yoongi finally realized it was he who they were waiting for.He looked at the tea cup in front of him for a second, then back at the advisers. 'Drink up, King.' An adviser spoke, lifting up his own cup with a smile that showed his rotten teeth.There was movement behind him as two guards moved to stand behind him. Yoongi heard the sound of the two weapons being drawn so that they were ready to be used on him. They were giving him no other choice. Yoongi could guess why.The grabbed the cup and downed the liquid inside of it in one go before slamming the cup back down to the table.The advisers smiled, as Taehyung tried to get himself free in the back.Yoongi knew what he had done. The bitter tea on his tongue was poisonous. And there was no doubt about it. Drinking it would cause a painful but slow death, and that would give him more time than if he would be shot dead right on the spot. He still had some time to come up with something before it was too late. He had not given up yet.The head adviser smiled widely, as if he had already won the battle. 'After your time comes, Yoongi. I am afraid that you will not be remembered as the great King that you wished to be. Instead you died on your first day of being crowned as the King and did not do any of the things that you wished that you would accomplish. Sad, but also for the best for Solaria's sake.'Yoongi stayed still, trying to ignore the way that his throat burned slightly and how he wanted to cough. In the end he did not know how fast the poison would do it's job, but he wished that he still had some time to try and make it out alive, somehow.'It was never meant to last, i'm afraid.' The adviser continued. 'We all knew from the very start that after your father passed, we would need to get rid of you as soon as possible. Solaria needs a better King, and if you won't be able to fulfill that role, than us advisers will do it gladly.' He spoke, grabbing a soft candy by sticking his disgustingly long nail into it and popping it into his mouth.The old adviser was about to say something else after wiping his mouth clean with a napkin,but the sudden sound that came behind the adviser was what caught all of their attention. It was a sudden knock behind the door, as if someone was asking the permission to be let in.There was a pause, before a guard walked up to the door and opened it slightly. He stood still for a moment, trying to see what was behind the door. A moment passed as he looked around and saw nothing, until he was suddenly pushed back with the whole door coming off as well.The heavy wooden door was thrown to the floor with the guard ending up underneath it.All the guards moved, their weapons drawn and pointed at the open doorway. They waited for a noise or any movement, while hurrying to the advisers side to guard them. Yoongi sat still, swallowing deeply as he looked at the dark doorway.The advisers gasped as they saw the fiery glow coming from the seemingly hall and watched it as it spread into the room they were currently in.A fire spread like in drawings of what you see when you enter hell, as Namjoon walked inside the room with his wand pointed at the adviser who were surrounding the table.The guards shot at him quickly, standing in shock as they saw the bullets bounce off him like he was made of steel. The reason behind this amazing spell, was Jin who walked behind Namjoon like a guardian angel, hovering his hands around the other that created a golden shield around them both that protected them from the bullets and the blue fire that Namjoon brought with him.The advisers were in shock, looking at the scene in fear- like they should. There was no time wasted, as Yoongi quickly broke himself free from the guard who was holding him still and dove underneath the table. Soon fire took over the whole room.Taehyung covered himself with a guard who stood next to him and was saved from the flesh burning flames of Namjoon's fire, so were the two remaining guards who stuck by their side up until now.Yoongi could not hear the pained cries of the advisers and the guards who betrayed him. He covered his eyes and face as the burning flames almost reached him as well. He was spared from them, but others were not so lucky. It only took minutes to eliminate everyone in the room, but it felt like a lifetime before the flames died and Yoongi managed to crawl up from underneath the table. The room was unrecognizable. 'Taehyung.' Yoongi asked worriedly, as he turned to look behind him.Taehyung pushed the black corpse of the guard who he used as a shield off of him, causing him to fall to the floor. Well, what was left of him. Taehyung was burnt slightly, but not wounded. He would survive they all would.Yoongi turned to the doorway, seeing the two saviors who came to their rescue. Yoongi's face turned from happiness to worry as he saw Namjoon holding Jin up like he was about to fall. He rushed to their side.'He will be fine.' Namjoon assured the other immediately. 'We almost lost him earlier but we managed to bring him back with a spell.' At the mention of 'we', Jungkook joined the rest inside the room as well, hugging his cousin immediately. 'I was so worried.' He cried against the other. Yoongi hugged him back, squeezing the other tightly before letting go. Jungkook opened his teary eyes to see a familiar figure looking back at him.He sobbed, running towards the other who took him in with open arms.Taehyung too, had hot tears coming down his face as he gently hushed the other while holding onto his shaky figure tightly. He would not shy away now, as he too let his tears fall down heavily, while holding onto his loved one.Yoongi smiled as he turned to Namjoon.'I can take him now.' He murmured to the other who looked at him for a moment before helping the dazed fairy hold onto Yoongi instead.Yoongi studied as Jin's wings glowed weakly, which he had never seen before. He had gotten used to seeing the beautiful wings glow in a golden shine that was now gone. The other really must have gone through a lot, seeing as he was decorated in all this blood.Jin's weak eyes looked back at him, trying to recognize who he was seeing. Jin sighed, smiling slightly. 'I knew i needed to avoid death for a reason.' He then said, making Yoongi tilt his head. 'I would have gone too soon, and not been able to see you again for a while.'Yoongi smiled, holding the other more tightly so he wouldn't let the other fall. 'Believe me, i wouldn't be here if it weren't for you.' And that was true. Had Jin died before he like said he almost did, then he wouldn't have been able to come save Yoongi either. He would have been dead too.'You saved my life.' Yoongi murmured.Jin stayed quiet for a moment, just looking at the other. 'Then i guess you owe me a favor.' He said, moving his hands and placing them behind the others neck instead.'I can live with that.' Yoongi laughed. Jin hummed, blinking his eyes to try and clear his head from all that had happened to him. He still felt weak and like he wasn't in his right mind. He had trouble walking and flying but he still joined Namjoon when they knew that Yoongi must be somewhere down here. He had to come, and make sure that each and every one of them made it out alive.At the mention of saving his life, Yoongi remembered the burning feeling in his chest and stomach. He was still poisoned and could die any minute.'I'd hate to bother you, as you are so weak at the moment.' Yoongi murmured, brushing away the longer brown streaks of hair covering the others face. 'But i have been poisoned and i don't think that is a very good thing.'Jin stayed still for a moment before breaking into weak laughter. 'Why does that not surprise me at all.'Yoongi was about to say that he didn't need to do anything and that he could always just ask Namjoon to heal him instead, though he was quite sure that the witch wouldn't like him asking that much. But Jin had already made up his mind.Without saying anything, he looked at the other for a moment, before closing the space between them.Yoongi wouldn't admit that he was surprised, but he honestly was just slightly. He hadn't expected the other to kiss him after he had asked him if he could heal him. But he was not going to pull away either.Yoongi enjoyed the feeling of the others soft lips pressed up against his own, even when the feeling was supposed to be taboo.Yoongi didn't know how to act around the other at times, as his race was so different to his own. Yoongi was a human, a man and he was destined to marry a human woman someday.Jin was a fairy, a genderless creature who can choose what to call himself and who to love. Jin grew up knowing that love was not shared between two genders or between people of the same race. He knew that he would end up loving someone someday and that was it.Yoongi had all these rules set on how to live his life and who to love in the end of it. It should be easy, just to stick with the rules and follow them. But Yoongi was never good at following rules.Yoongi didn't need to question Jin. He didn't have the urge to ask what he was and how he worked, because it did not matter. Jin was just Jin.Did he enjoy kissing Jin because he technically did not fall into the category of just male?Was he trying to find a reason to to make himself feel that this was normal?No, he wasn't. This was normal.Jin was far from the norm, when it came to being human. But that was what Yoongi loved about him. Yoongi enjoyed kissing Jin because it was Jin who he was kissing. It didn't matter what he was or where he came from. All that mattered was that he was here now, pressed up against him oh so tightly. As if it never even happened, his lips soon left his own and Yoongi was left craving for more. He looked at the others sleepy eyes desperately.Jin smiled at him sweetly.'Now you owe me two favors.' ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Namjoon watched the other who walked across the castle yard, leaning against his cane while limping slightly. He felt bad for the Prince, as his injuries had still not healed properly.Jimin survived his fever, and his wound began to heal without an infection. His injured skin was still sore and he could not walk for long without the support of a cane for now, as he still suffered from fatigue and weakness. But he was going to survive, like all of them would.As Namjoon leaned against the old brick wall of the castle, he looked around himself. The surrounding area around the castle looked quite bad, honestly speaking. And the castle itself had seen better days as well.It was no surprise that many lives were lost on Yoongi's coronation day. Sometimes Namjoon's swears that he can still smell the burning corpses from that day.The number of guards went down by a lot, as many of them passed that very day. Some fought with them and some against them. In the end they were the ones alive and standing.The church was gone, and so were the tunnels that once ran underneath the ground below them. Many parts of the castle were destroyed, and the castle walls.Many citizens of Solaria took a part in the fight on the coronation day, and they too did their share in damage and lost their lives. Many things were lost that day, but all of them managed to stay alive.After everything that happened, Namjoon didn't need to stay, but he felt it was the right thing to do for now.Jimin spoke to him about his brothers future plans of wanting to make Solaria a different place. The thought of there being laws to protect the creatures and his own kind seemed odd and not real, but it was about to become very real. Namjoon of course understood that it would take time before the humans began to live by those new laws, but in the end they would not have a choice. A change would happen whether they wanted it or not.Namjoon too wanted to help with those laws as he was given the chance to make a difference. It was quite the shock, when Yoongi simply asked him for a favor that turned into something much more.He was a royal adviser now, and the first witch to work in the castle of Solaria.He was a noble man now, who was protected and looked upon like royalty. The change felt odd and unreal at first, and it still does.Namjoon hasn't been able to participate in anything big yet, as the most important things needed to be done first as the castle had fallen into chaos during the last week. New guards needed to be recruited and Taehyung needed to do a good job in making sure that only the best ones would be allowed to work inside the castle.New servants and nurses were also being added, as well as doctors and maids. Namjoon did something that he never thought that he would do in his entire life. He helped accompany Jungkook in his station to heal the wounded guards and workers after the fight. With his spells and potions, they were able to treat people at a fast pace and help get everyone back to working condition.Namjoon would never say it out loud now, but he enjoyed being able to help others, even when they were humans. Jin wasn't unable to join them in the healing process as he was healing himself. The poor fairy had taken himself to such extremes that it took him days until he was able to leave the bed. But he was not alone, as the King himself visited him at least once a day even though he had a busy schedule. Namjoon remembers the moment that the two of them shared inside the secret room of the advisers.As a creature, Namjoon knew that Jin could have stopped the process of the spreading poison any way that he wanted, as kissing the King was just one out of the many options. But he would not mention that out loud, as he did not want to come in between the two and whatever they had going on between them. No one said anything out loud, but Namjoon wasn't blind or stupid. He could sense that the human felt something towards the fairy and also the other way around. Namjoon was taught that relationships between creatures and humans were forbidden, as well as any type of romantic relationship between two different races. But he grew up and his mind began to expand when speaking with people like Hoseok for an example.Namjoon had no idea that the Alpha wolf has actually a mixed breed, as he was birthed by a human. Namjoon was quick to apologize about whatever he had said at the time that brought them to that conversation, but Hoseok just shook his head with a smile. He had gotten used to it already, which made Namjoon even more sad for the other.He shouldn't get used to others calling him horrible things and questioning him as a creature just because he wasn't fully something. Hoseok wasn't a pure bred werewolf, but he still had all of the features of a werewolf. Being half human didn't mean that he was tainted or ruined.Namjoon's look on humans in general had also changed massively after meeting a special someone who didn't even need to be named as everyone knew he had a soft spot towards the Prince.Namjoon couldn't explain it with words.He worried about the other in a way that was hard to express. He almost saw the other die in his own hands after he saved him without a doubt. Namjoon owed his life to him, and he returned the favor.Jimin was a mystery, with his odd knowledge of creatures and his open mind to everything. He wanted to help others but he also had a venturous side to him that just wanted to travel the world and learn everything that the world had to offer him. He was a innocent soul, who had yet to experience the things out there that were ready to hurt you.But Jimin wasn't as weak as he thought the other was, and neither was his brother. Namjoon always thought that the royals of Solaria were born into happiness and wealth, being fed with a golden spoon their entire life and kept in safety. That wasn't it at all.Namjoon now knew what the two brothers had to go through during their time as children in the castle and after that. It wasn't easy, losing your mother to the people you were supposed to trust and then being abandoned emotionally by your father. They were raised by servants who never truly cared for them and only did their job. But luckily the two still had each other.Jimin was strong, much stronger that Namjoon could have ever guessed. The Prince who he thought could only read books and make stupid comments actually knew how to fight and protect himself. He was impressed by the fighting spirit that the other showed when it came to protecting his loved ones.Namjoon had seen the other when he was in his weakest moments and when he was being his strongest. Jimin also happened to see the same when it came to him.As if he had heard his thoughts, Jimin made his way to Namjoon's side as he noticed the witch stand near the door to the castle. He walked up to him while leaning against his cane, asking his guards to go inside already.'I see that you are still unable to walk correctly.' Namjoon murmured, removing the scarf that was covering his mouth so he would be able to speak. It was already well into the spring and the snow had melted off completely, but he still could feel the cold wind blowing.Jimin hummed, a smile on his lips as he looked at the other. 'But i am alive so that is all that matters.'Namjoon let out a laugh. He liked the way the other thought.There was a pause as the two stood in front of the castle doors, watching as workers moved in and out of the castle, bringing all the broken tiles and objects that were broken in the fight. Yoongi had made the smart decision of getting rid of anything that was not important as he thought it would be a good idea to make the castle slightly smaller by taking down the wings of the castle that weren't used as much. The old large castle wasn't like it used to be, as the castle now held smaller amounts of servants and maids inside of it- which meant that cleaning and taking care of everything became too much. It would be easier this way.'How is he?' Namjoon then asked, having though of Jimin's brother.Jimin smiled as he noticed the other forgetting about calling his brother by his proper tittle, King. The witch still hadn't gotten used to the ways of the castle and how to act around royalty, and that was almost refreshing in a way.'He is alive.' Jimin murmured, a warm cloud of steam escaping his mouth as he coughed slightly. 'He is surprisingly alright after everything that happened. He has always been strong and doesn't show his deeper emotions that easily.' Jimin spoke, mouth turning with a small pout.Namjoon nodded his head.All of them had been through some tough things that left emotional scars for life, but just like Namjoon himself, the royal brothers too didn't like to show their deeper emotions and that they had been hurt. Perhaps it was better that way, for now.Namjoon knew for fact that Jimin was hurting too, and not just physically. 'You should go inside already.' Namjoon then said, turning his face away from the other so he didn't need to see the others reaction to his sudden words of affection. Could he even call it affection? It was odd.Jimin nodded his head, his smile still staying on his lips as he looked at the awkward witch for a second. 'Alright.' He then said and took a step closer to the door. 'You should do the same.' He quietly said before leaving.Namjoon waited a moment before he let out a breath that he had been holding in for a while. He sighed with his eyes closed and shook his hands that felt odd suddenly. He opened his eyes to see two maids look straight at him like he was crazy.'What?' Namjoon asked, his deep purple eyes staring at the two ladies who now scurried away as they feared the witch.Namjoon waited for a moment, then coughing and fixing the collar of his coat before going inside. * Jin's cheeks flashed with pink in embarrassment as he had to yell for a servant the second time that day. He held onto the pillar of his bed, getting some support from it while he stood and waited. He was doing better already, as he could now get out of bed all by himself. But walking alone was still not an option, as he learned from the mistake that he made before when he tried to leave the bed alone and fell to the floor.Jin's condition was not great.His once broken ribs were still in the middle of healing and so was his arm. Namjoon's potion healed the bleeding damage and the outside of his broken bones, but the damage that was done deeper in the skin and bones still needed some healing.Jin also suffered from the consequences of getting rid of the poison that Yoongi had been given, because the way that he got rid of the poison that the other had taken now also caused him some damage.Human poison was weak to a creature like him, but it still did a good amount of damage as Jin felt dizzy and nauseous all the time.Perhaps kissing the other was not the greatest option, but Jin did not care at the time. He just wanted to feel the others lips against his own and he did not care about the consequences. Which now came to bite him in the ass. The same lovely maid came in who had taken care of Jin before during the past few days. He could not leave the bed during the first days and after that he needed help walking and washing himself. It was embarrassing to have someone help you around like that, but Yoongi insisted that he needed that help. And he was right. The young maid helped walk Jin to the bathroom and prepared his bath while Jin already managed to undress himself.Jin felt slightly awkward undressing himself in front of the human lady who showed clear shocked expressions towards him at first when she first saw the undressed fairy, but once they got over the first awkward phase, it was alright from then on.In a way Jin had already forgotten that he looked so different from the rest around him, and the reaction from the maid reminded him that he indeed was and looked very different. There was no need to go into the details, but Jin just forgot that humans were not hermaphrodites like him. His body looked and worked differently, but he never really had to notice this before as he only lived with other fairies who were all just like him.Laying there in the tub, Jin began to wonder about his future.He had said yes to working with Yoongi as an advisers from now on. He would be living inside the castle and he didn't know for how long.Jin would stay and live his life like this for a while, as an only fairy.When thinking about his past and what he wanted from his future back then, the simple answer would have been that he wanted to meet his mate and have a few children along the way, live long and happy with the people that he loved before he would meet his end. That was the simple wish that most fairies would then do during their lifetime.Jin was already older and should be looking for a mate quickly if he were to ever get one and start a family. Now, as the only fairy left from his colony- he is unsure whether he would ever find someone like him. The thought was scary, and he didn't like to think about it too much.But he had to, as time was ticking and moving forward whether he wanted it to or not. It was spring. Soon he would go through another painful heat that his body would force on him and he wouldn't be able to do anything about it. He just needed to fight through it and keep his mind clear.Most know about the heat and ruts that werewolves go through, but not many know about the ones that fairies go through each year as well.Unlike werewolves, fairies are only able to create another life during the time of heat. Werewolves are able to do this even without their heats and ruts. They just drive them forward to go out and find another wolf who to mate with.Fairies only have one gender and everyone go through the same symptoms of heat during the spring time. One of the fairies need to be in heat for a possible pregnancy to happen. Jin sunk his head underneath the water, cheeks blushing with red as his thoughts made himself feel embarrassed. Why was he thinking about such things in the first place. Well, because Jin always knew that he wanted to have children. He was the only child that his parents produced and he felt lonely at times when he was a child. He wanted to have multiple kids someday, but that dream had been pushed back a long time ago as Jin needed to focus on himself and his family's safety.Now as he was safe and taken care of, he couldn't help but think about what it would be like to settle down and start a family. But it was impossible.Jin knew that he was still in danger and so were all of them. Bringing a child into the world that they were currently living in was something that Jin did not want. So his dreams would be buried for another time, until he would think about this same topic again on another day like this. * Jungkook hummed and nodded his head for the tenth time that hour, listening to one of his coworkers talking about something that was important to them but sounded stupid in Jungkook's mind.He should keep his head in the game and think about work and his responsibilities, but he simply just couldn't as his mind was filled with other kinds of thoughts at the time.His fellow coworkers kept on talking, bringing out ideas and their thoughts on what to do as they were in quite the crisis right now. The castle needed more medical staff, or many injured workers would lose their lives. Jungkook looked down at the piece of paper that he had been writing notes on for the past few hours. The ring in his pocket had never felt heavier.He let out a cough, getting everyone's attention as he sat at the end of the table. Jungkook got up from his seat and took his notes with him.'I believe now would be a good time to hold small break.' Jungkook spoke as he looked at the people in the room. 'How about we come back in, let's say thirty minutes?'He did not need to wait for an answer, as the head of the royal hospital Jungkook knew no one would even dare to suggest something else. It was good to be in charge at times.Jungkook was the first one to exit the meeting room, heading out of the door and into the castle hallway. He walked fast, making his way to a familiar office room he had been in multiple times before. Jungkook walked through the castle halls, passing the dormitory rooms for the soldiers and walking past groups who would bow down quickly as he made his way past them. Jungkook didn't need to stay and listen to know that the soldiers would begin to talk after he had left. Rumors move quickly around the castle, especially between soldiers. After all that had happened after Yoongi's coronation, Jungkook and Taehyung met in a tearful moment underneath the castle after the fight was over. Both of them had thought that the other one had died. It was a feeling that was hard to describe as it was so painful.The two of them met each other again that day, and couldn't help hide their feelings. It was common for them to show their affection towards each other around people like Yoongi and Jimin, but this time two guards had also been inside the same room. They saw the two of them, and ever after they received a warning of not to speak about what had happened with anyone, both Jungkook and Taehyung had received odd looks and treatment. Everyone had heard about it. The two of them were back to space one, hiding from everyone.Jungkook knew that Taehyung's job and life was in danger if people were to find out about their relationship, as his spot as a high officer in the army would be threatened. His men would lose all respect towards him and not treat him as their leader. That could not happen and Jungkook knew it.He did not care about him and his own reputation anymore. He had lost that years ago, as he grew up so lazily. He was a fatherless child who wouldn't listen to his mother. He was different now but he still did not care what other thought of him, which was a good and a bad thing. Right now it was a bad thing.Jungkook walked up to the end of the hall and knocked on the door, waiting for someone to open it.Finally someone did, and Jungkook watched as a younger soldier stood in front of him and let him inside.Jungkook cleared his throat, catching Taehyung's attention who was sat behind his desk while a group of soldiers stood in front of him. They must have been holding a meeting of some sorts. Taehyung looked up from his papers, looking slightly surprised as he was Jungkook standing there on his door way.'Doctor Jungkook.' He then said, getting up from his seat and bowing down. This always felt odd for Jungkook, as he hated seeing the other act like they didn't know each other on a deeper level. But all of them had gotten used to acting different around each other when other were around, as they always had to call Jimin and Yoongi by their royal status and such. But Jungkook still hated it when Taehyung did it to him.'What brings you here?' Taehyung then asked.Jungkook took a few steps towards the table, seeing the guards in front of him move out of his way. Jungkook placed down a letter onto the table, sliding it towards the other.'The King needed you to have and read this as soon as possible. He gave me the task of handing it to you personally.' Jungkook murmured, moving his hand off of the paper, making sure that everyone in the room saw the royal stamp that was placed in the middle of the sealed letter. Only the King had this kind of stamp, and they all knew that.Taehyung looked at the other for a moment, before taking the letter into his hands. He studied it for a moment, seeing all of his guards eye at it as well. He then placed it in his desk drawer and shut it, locking it.'Thank you. I will read it as soon as possible.' Taehyung then said, clearing his throat.Jungkook nodded his head. 'It was my pleasure.''I will leave you to your meeting. I have one that i need to attend as well. Good evening.' Jungkook then quickly said and took his leave.He walked back to his meeting room, already seeing that everyone else were there already and had waited for him. Perhaps all of them had stayed after he had left. Whatever the answer might be, all Jungkook could think of for the rest of the meeting, was what has written inside the letter that he handed over to Taehyung.He hoped that the other would open it soon, as he promised. * Yoongi stood awkwardly in the middle of the library, looking at the many books in front of him. Many of them were written in different languages, while some only had pictures. Yoongi coughed as he saw one of his guards look his way, making him look away instantly.He told the guards to stay back as he wanted to choose his book alone. Some could not understand his reasoning behind this, but he did. When visiting Jin a few times after the other had been bedridden by his injuries, Yoongi learned many new things about the fairy but not everything.Yoongi couldn't tell why, but he wanted to learn everything about the other.Yoongi made sure that the other had a maid taking care of him at all times after he found out that the other had been unable to walk and move by himself just a few days ago. The thought of the other being in pain and alone hurt him, especially after all that he did for him.Jin didn't need to come and help save him. Yoongi knew that.Jin didn't need to sacrifice his own life like that, just to come and help him. He didn't need to safe him from the poison and he still did. Yoongi was more than grateful.Rumors around the castle moved fast, and soon all knew about the kiss that he had shared with the fairy. It was no use to say that it was all just because of the poison, as Yoongi too knows that would be a lie. Having held the other like that back then in the tunnel, he too had wished to collide their lips together like they finally did.Yoongi was no liar. He knew that there was something going on, as his mind kept always going back to the other. He couldn't stop thinking about him. Yoongi visited him a day after the fight had happened. It hurt him to see the other in such bad shape then.-'I am fine Yoongi.' Jin murmured as he saw the other walk into the room, telling his guards to stay back. 'No you are not.' Yoongi sighed as he took a seat next to his bed. 'You almost died.'Jin stayed quiet, swallowing slowly. 'But in the end i lived.' He then said, looking at the other.'Barely.' Jungkook then said, looking at some papers in the corner while writing quickly. 'You were lucky that Namjoon was around to save you the first time. And then you decided to poison yourself.'Jin rolled his eyes tiredly. 'You humans and your poisons. They are weak. I won't die to one.'Yoongi shook his head, grabbing the others hand. 'But it would have caused you damage.' He reminded the other. 'It was right of Jungkook to come and give you the medicine to remove it from your system for good.'Jin looked at the other for a moment, squeezing his hand. 'Alright.' He finally said, taking his side.Jungkook cleared his throat, catching the couples attention. 'Yoongi, i suggest that you make sure that he get's proper care between visits from me.'Jin looked confused for a moment, looking at the other like he was offended. 'I can take care of myself. There is no need for that.''No.' Yoongi quickly said. 'Jungkook is right. You had broken bones and eternal bleeding, as well as the poison running in your system. You will need time to heal and some help. And even though i hate it, i cannot visit you as often as i would like to. I will get a maid to come in and help you as much as you need.'Jin stayed quiet for a moment, looking at the other. 'I still don't like the idea.' He finally murmured out.'Why is that?' Yoongi then asked.Jin let out a sigh. 'It is complicated. It is a part of my culture. We don't really get or need help from someone who is not a part of our family. The thought of someone coming in here and helping me, who is a total stranger seems odd to me.''I see.' Yoongi said, looking at Jungkook.'Jungkook.' He then called for the other. 'Can you make sure could give me your best maid who works as a nurse?''I can make that happen, yes.' Jungkook then quickly promised. He then turned to the injured fairy. 'Jin, i assure you that the only reason why we are doing this is so that you will get better. This might feel unfair and slightly uncomfortable to you, but we just want you to get better. After all that you did for us, we want to do the same for you. Just get better.'Jin nervously played with the covers on his bed, his nails scratching the fabric. He was still unsure about this all, but in the end he nodded his head. 'Alright. I will do as you suggest.'The topic of Jin's culture popped up then and the two of then continued to talk about it after Jungkook had left.Yoongi asked about the clothes that Jin wore, that the other had made himself. Jin explained all about it and what the decoration meant- like he told Hoseok back then when he first created the clothes for himself.Yoongi could sense that the other was trying to hide the way that his voice sounded shaky, when he talked about his family, or how he began to smile when he started to mumble about his old kind memories that stuck with him for all this time.Yoongi asked about many things that had been on his mind for quite some time, like about the color of the others wings. As having golden wings was something very rare, as the most common colors were brown an see through shades. But Jin's wings were pure gold, shining like the sun and blinding eyes. He was breath catching.But now, due to his weak self, Jin's wings had lost their glow and could not carry him to fly. The burn tips of the fragile wings were healing, and so was the nasty hole in one of them. 'My father also had golden wings.' Jin had also explained before how his kind didn't really have gender, so he used the terms mother and father just to make it easier for humans to understand him.Yoongi only knew very little about fairies, so he felt quite embarrassed when speaking with Jin when he couldn't understand some things. He had been meaning to speak with Jimin for quite a while, as he knew the other was much more educated on the subject of all creatures.But in the meantime, Yoongi just enjoyed being with the other and escaping his work for a moment to come and see Jin. The problem with that was just that time flew past so fast, and before he even knew it, they had been speaking for hours and Yoongi needed to leave. He hated it.But his Kingdom came at first. Yoongi needed to remember that he had responsibilities and people to take care of. Many trusted him, and he could not let them down.But the temptation of seeing the other was too much at times.-Yoongi spoke with Jimin a day after he managed to get a maid to work with Jin. After he took care of this, he looked for his brother and made sure the two of them had time to talk about what he needed to ask from the other. Yoongi first saw the other a day after his coronation, when Namjoon went and gave the two the permission to come back to the castle. Hoseok brought him home, after almost two weeks of him being away.Yoongi will not lie. He held the other and cried like he had never cried before.All that anxiety and fear just melted away as he got to hug his little brother again, after he had feared the worst for quite some time. Yoongi didn't know what to say to the other back then, but Jimin understood from the way that Yoongi held him tightly. He too, had missed the other more than words could explain.Jimin first needed help from Jungkook, as he was still very injured from the gun wound and his fever. Once he was better, Jimin was able to be his old cheery self again and Yoongi was so happy. Happy that he got his brother back and that the other was alright.He usually never went to the other to get advice from him, as it was mostly the other way around, so even Jimin himself was slightly surprised when Yoongi asked him for some advice. Jimin had been expecting something more serious from the other, as the way that Yoongi brought up the question was so odd and like he was about to ask something very serious and something that Jimin would need to think about and speak with him about.Instead the other asked him this;'Jimin, I need you to teach me about fairies.'There was a pause, as Jimin blinked his eyes a few times. 'Wait, what?'Jimin let out a short laugh as he looked at the other. 'Did you seriously just make changes to your schedule and move a whole meeting, just so you could ask me this?'Yoongi just simply nodded his head.'Oh, you're being serious.' Jimin then said and Yoongi sighed. 'Alright then. But why do you feel the need to do this? Why do you want to learn about Jin so badly?'Yoongi rolled his eyes, leaning back in his chair. 'Does that really matter?' He then asked.'It does, actually. As your brother I would like to know if you're thinking about starting something serious with him or-'Jimin was paused as Yoongi nearly choked on his own spit when he heard what Jimin had said. He coughed a few times, glaring at the other who looked at him with a smile.'It's totally fine.' Jimin then laughed. 'You know that I don't care what you do and who you spent your time with-''Please just stop.' Yoongi said, raising his voice slightly. 'This is not why I came here, for you to embarrass me over and over again.''What else did you expect? I am your little brother after all.' Jimin smiled smugly, leaning back in his chair and enjoying the way that the other glared at him.Yoongi sighed. 'Will you just do as I asked?''But that wouldn't be as fun if I were to bully you a little along the way as well.' Jimin said, a fake pout on his lips.'I'm going to leave, Jimin.' Yoongi warned the other, already getting up from his chair.'No, no. Don't.' Jimin then hurriedly said and got the other to stay. 'I will tell you everything that I know.' He promised. 'Only if you first tell me why you want to do this, and so suddenly.'Yoongi looked at the other for a moment, thinking about if he should just leave and forget all about this or stay and tell him. In the end, he sighed and gave up.'I want to learn about him, so that he doesn't need to feel so alone.' Yoongi then said.'He doesn't have any one of his own colony members left, or another fairy here to company him. He doesn't have a family, and that hurts him even though he will not show it to others. I know it.''He doesn't have anyone here who to speak about himself and his race about, as no one really understands him as well as he would like to. I know that I could never understand everything either, as that would be just impossible. But I would like to know something. So that I could understand him better and be there for him.''There is such a border between us, and I would like to cross over that border, or even just take a peek.'Jimin nodded his head, as he understood how the other felt.He had a lot of knowledge about creatures and all different races, so he didn't feel that great of a border between him and let's say Namjoon for example. He knew about the other and his culture, as well as Hoseok's. But Yoongi was clueless to those things, as he needed to learn about many other things for all these years before becoming the King. Jimin understands why he suddenly wants to change that.'I see how you look at him.' Jimin murmured, a smile on his lips. 'And I think it is lovely how you have found someone else who to care about and who you want to get to know better.'Jimin had heard the rumors of what had happened inside the tunnel when his brother had been poisoned. The rumors of the kiss that the two of them had shared were all over the castle and pretty much everyone knew about it at this point.Jimin had never really thought or imagined his brother liking someone, as Yoongi had always just been his brother, and he never had to imagine him being in a relationship. He never really heard him say something about a crush or his previous relationships, that needed to be kept hidden for obvious reasons. So, this came as a slight shock to him.'It's difficult to explain. I don't know how to feel.' Yoongi then murmured.'I just want to learn about him and be there for him. He is all alone, as everyone from his own colony have died or have left him. There are no other fairies to be found, and might be the last one in our whole land for all we know.''But it's still just so complicated, Jimin. I don't know how to feel about all of this, after the kiss and everything that we went through.' Yoongi sighed.Jimin nodded his head. 'Maybe you don't need to know what to feel.''What do you mean?' Yoongi then asked.'I just think that maybe you don't need to know how to feel and what to do with those feelings that you have. How about you just let them be and do their own thing for a moment. Let them grow and become clearer for you so you can understand them when the time is right.' Jimin spoke.'Look, Yoongi.' Jimin sighed. 'You know that us all love you. We will give you all the support you need, as a King and in your personal life. We are all family and we want you to be happy. I am your brother and I will support you no matter what.'Yoongi was quiet for a moment, as he looked at the other, before letting out a laugh.'Since when did you start giving out advice? How can someone who has never dated in his whole life give out such good advice?' He smiled.Jimin smirked. 'Who said anything about never dating anyone?'Yoongi's smile died quickly. The two of them continued to speak about whatever came into their mind for quite a while after that, joking and laughing together. They both had missed this, when they could just spend time together like they did when they were children.When the topic came back on their minds, Jimin suggested that Yoongi should just go into the royal library and find some books about fairies in there. That was how he learned about all the creatures the best and fastest. Sure, Yoongi was never really a fan of books and reading a bunch, but he was more than willing to try.-So that is how he got here, a few days later.The lovely librarian lady offered to help him out with finding the books that he was looking for, but Yoongi didn't want to risk it, as the rumors were already quite out of hand. People didn't need to know that he had picked up the hobby of reading about fairies, after everyone heard about what had happened inside the tunnel.So Yoongi decided that he would be best off by himself.He looked through the stacks of books, studying the names and the writers. Jimin told him a few of his favorite ones, but now he just needed to find them. And hope that they had some pictures in them, because dear god why are all of these books so thick?He finally came across some books that looked like they could help him. They didn't look too boring and weren't so long as the rest. He took them with him and left the library, ignoring the way some looked at him as he tried to hide the books as best as he could. * Taehyung looked down at the paper that he was writing on, looking at all the words that he had written down while his head was in the clouds. They made no sense, and it was no wonder as he wasn't focusing at all.Taehyung took the paper, ripping it from his note book and then throwing it in the bin next to his desk. He let out a sigh, leaning back in his chair.The candle lit room made it seem like it was already night, as Taehyung shut off all his lights as they gave him a headache, but he still needed to finish some paper work so he had to see somehow.He rubbed his eyes, feeling how tired he had become after the small meeting. Nothing major happened, but just being in the same room as the new guards who had no genuine experience in the field yet was enough to give him a headache, as listening to their idiotic questions was enough to bring him to the edge of going crazy.Taehyung knew he wouldn't be able to go on for like this for much longer. The stress and everything that was pushed onto him was becoming too much for him to handle. He never said anything out loud, so that no one would worry about him, but he knew that some would realize.Taehyung glazed over to the side of his desk, eyeing the drawer that he always kept locked, as he stored important and 'secret' files inside it, that could not be seen by anyone who would happen to walk into his office, that was also always locked. You truly couldn't trust anyone.Taehyung sighed, as he reached for the key hanging on the necklace around his neck, next to the ring that was always with him.Taehyung removed the key and used it to open the drawer, reaching inside and finding what he was looking for.Taehyung rubbed his thumb over the royal stamp that stood out from the white paper, as the red melted wax was so noticeable. He opened the letter, sliding his finger underneath the folded opening and ripping it off completely. Taehyung leaned back in his chair, unfolding the letter and beginning to read it.A smile began to spread on his face.The clock on his wall ticked away loudly, as his eyes moved quickly from row to row, reading each letter and word carefully.Once he had read the letter, Taehyung took the letter, folded it a few times and then leaned towards his table. He placed the folded piece of paper above the lit candle that decorated his table.The flames began to slowly eat away at the paper, small flames dancing near his fingertips before he let the paper, or what was left of it, to fall on the top of his desk as a pile of ashes. He waited a moment, letting the ash to cool down before swiping it into the trashcan underneath his table.Taehyung leaned back on his chair for a moment, his feet tapping against the floor in an anxious way. He brought a finger up to chew on his nail, before immediately letting it fall back down and jumping up from his seat.What was he even doing? He sighed. Taehyung couldn't stop thinking about what was written on that letter, as the words that he read kept on coming back to him, haunting him. He rubbed his face with a groan, blinking his eyes multiple times.He looked at the clock, seeing that it was nowhere near the time that he was supposed to meet up with the writer of the letter. Taehyung walked around his office nervously, fiddling with the ring hanging against his chest.He sighed and cursed out. 'Jungkook, i am going to kill you.' * Yoongi looked at the book with doubt written all over his face.He read the first few words and found out that the writer used very offensive slurs when talking about fairies and it also sounded like this book was many centuries old. Even though things were very bad right now, people still treated fairies better now than they did back then.This book that Yoongi had chosen and began to read was focused more on the anatomy of fairies and their physical abilities. It wouldn't be too bad to read, but knowing that all this information was gathered after fairies were hunted and cut open was just too much for him. Yoongi gently placed the book down and opened another one that he had on his office table.He really should be working now that he had the time to just sit around in his office instead of seeing the castle and being in meetings for hours straight. Hell, he could be sleeping right now if he wanted to. But instead he was reading up on things about fairies.Yoongi opened the other book, that seemed newer and like it could have some good information, as it also had drawings inside of it. Yoongi began to flip through the pages, skipping the writers introduction and looking at the list of contents. At first there was some chapters about history and how fairies came to Solaria.Yoongi decided to skip that chapter for now, as he wanted to learn about fairies culture at first. And that was the second chapter.Yoongi took a more comfortable position in his chair and threw his legs up on top of the table. 'The species of fairies, or fātum, belong into the category of creatures, who differ from us humans in physical and mental ways.''Fairies are born with the ability of performing magic, that comes from owning wings. When a fairy is dewinged, they lose their powers and they cannot be returned.''There only are one type of fairies, who share different characteristics that make them different from the rest, like the color of their wings, hair and eyes. Most fairies share similar traits like a feminine face, strong body and being hermaphrodites.''Pure fairies only have one gender. Fairies use simple names that usually only have three to four letters in them. Names are sacred and spoken out loud very rarely.'This was all something that Yoongi had heard about already before, so he wasn't too surprised by anything yet. He continued to flip the pages, seeing that the next topic was about the names and meaning behind them. Yoongi didn't need to find out about them right now, as with his limited time he wanted to know the general things for now.He paused in the middle of flipping pages, as he saw something that made him stop completely.'Procreation and breeding.'Yoongi almost forgot how to breathe for a moment as his cheeks turned red in a second. He coughed out, furiously moving the pages to skip through the chapter that mentioned the topic that he did not want to see right now. He looked around himself, feeling like a teenager that just found adult material in some school book.He shook his head. He felt ridiculous.Yoongi continued to read after he found a new interesting topic that he thought would help him understand more.It was about the languages and traditions that fairies had.'Fairies speak their own language, but are also skilled in many human languages that they are taught it in their own colonies. Many fairies however cannot read or write in any human language.''Fairies usually have large families and live in colonies that are formed by their family members. Fairy colonies are located in forests, on the top of large trees that they can access easily due to their wings. ''Neighboring colonies work together to defend their race and make trades with each other. Usually a mate will also be discovered from the neighbor colony.'Yoongi remember seeing the word mate before, as he quickly skipped over it before when the book began to describe the act of mating and breeding in a way too detailed fashion in the previous chapter. His cheeks still felt hot after seeing that, even when he skipped it all.'Fairies mate for life and spend the rest of their life with their mate, forming a bond and starting a family.''Due to the lack of having two genders, Fairies are free to mate with who ever they meet and feel a connection with. Marriage is not known in the Fairy community, as it is replaced by finding a mate.''Fairies know that another Fairy has been mated to someone else by the change in scent and behavior. Unlike werewolves, there is no physical change like a bite mark that needs to be left behind.'Yoongi's eyes lids began to feel heavy, as he realized he had been reading this book for way longer than he first intended. It was beginning to get late, and he still needed to do a few things today as well. But he did not want to put down the book, as he was in such a interesting part.But the topic quickly changed and took a turn to the worst.'After the human race traveled to Solaria and began to take their own land, creatures like Fairies were pushed away from their homes and even murdered. There were many wars over the decades before humans could call Solaria their own and the Kingdom was created.''Many creatures were murdered and sold to neighboring Kingdoms as no other Kingdom had as many creatures as Solaria did.''As humans began to realize the power of magic and what it could do, witches and fairies were taken advantage of and killed for their powers. Humans learned that the root of fairies powers were their wings.''Fairy wings have been used as a medical and spiritual help for many decades now. The fairy would be killed and the wings removed, then made into a tiny powder that would be used when needed. Usually put into drinks and lotions to treat illness. It never worked as good as the real magic of a fairy, but it made the healing progress faster.''The act of removing the wings off of a fairy, dewinging, was discovered not too long ago. It made possible to harvest the wings from the fairy while also leaving them alive.''Removing the wings from a fairy is a very painful progress. The wings of a fairy are connected to the back bones and will need to be sawed off at the root so that there wont be any infections later on from the remaining bone. Many humans leave this bone in purpose, to cause more pain to the fairy.''A wingless fairy will lose their magic and healing abilities. They will usually die to the operation of removing the wings days after it has been done, as the wound has not been treated properly and will get badly infected.''Humans began to keep the wingless fairies and sell them off to other humans who needed them. Fairies have the ability to carry life, and are much more stronger than human women. Fairies also carried the baby inside of them for a few months less, compared to humans. So humans began to take advantage of them. The act of breeding through fairies became common many centuries ago.''This act meant that the Fairies used would produce children who were mixed. The children would usually have no fairy abilities or physical changes, but there have been exceptions. Some children have been born with wings and no magical abilities, or they have had no wings but are hermaphrodites like their fairy parent. There have been rumored cases of the child being a pure fairy as well.'Yoongi flipped the page, seeing some sketches that the drawer had made, showing what the mixed children might have looked like with their human and fairy features combined. The drawer had done a great job, as it almost felt like the children were looking back at him from the pages. Yoongi turned the page and swallowed as read the next lines of text.'Many children were killed right after birth if they showed any kind of fairy characteristics. Their small wings would be cut off and sold while the body would be destroyed, sometimes with the parent as there was a chance that the fairy could not produce any other kind of child, and would continued to have mixed children. They would be simply replaced with another fairy.'Yoongi felt a lump in his throat after reading that, the drawings of the children still fresh in his mind as their eyes would most likely show up in his dreams tonight as well.It was sad. He knew the history behind humans and fairies was not well, but he could have never expected to see this. He felt like a monster, even when he had nothing to do with any of this himself. He still felt very responsible, as he was the current face of all humans as the King.Yoongi then closed the book, placing it in his lap as he looked at the wall across from his table. He let out a sigh.He now understood the fear that Jin first had when he came. He now understands why he was against staying in the castle and helping his father heal. If Yoongi were him, he would have never even tried to help.Yoongi was so glad that Jin was here today. That he had forgiven them and was able to work together with humans. He had to go through a huge fight within himself to make that happen, but in the end he decided to stay and trust Yoongi and the others.Yoongi spun in his chair, looking out the window behind him.It was dark, and drops of water had stained the window he was looking through. The torches lit outside on the walkway to the castle were fighting for their lives as rain continued to pour on them, but they still managed to show light on the castle yard.It was spring now, as all snow had melted and grass had began to grow through the ash and ruble that was left after the fight.After death, there was life.Just like after his father passed, a new King needed to take their place on the throne. Another life was lost in the royal hospital, while another was brought to life in the room next door.They needed to put behind their past, in order to create something in the future.If Jin, Hoseok and Namjoon had managed to do that after everything that they went through, then why was he still struggling to move on?Yoongi felt selfish for thinking so, but he still was unsure of what he was here to do.He was now the King. Many things were expected from him. He was supposed to bring Solaria back to it's glory days, but how could he do that when he now knows what those days were like? Yoongi was being torn into many directions.He wanted to do what was the right thing for his people, while he also fought against them. He wasn't being the King that they wanted and he knew that.He wants the creatures to be treated the same as everyone else, but he knows that will take a long time. Change will take a long time.Yoongi himself isn't too sure either what that change will even be.He is very confused at the moment.At such a young age, he is crowned as the King. Now, people expect him to marry quickly and to make decisions quickly. So many people are watching over him and looking at him for answers when he himself doesn't know them either at times.There were times when he was younger and still just a Prince, when he would escape the castle and go to a local pub while wearing something to cover himself. He would talk with the locals, get into a few fights and return back home to see guards looking for him from everywhere. Those were the good times.He could never do the same now, but only look back at those times.But even when Yoongi couldn't escape the castle and physically leave, he still needed an escape. That is why he keeps bringing himself to the others door.Two knocks, and Jin would call back. Like always.So Yoongi opens the door, and he escapes. Just for a moment. * Jungkook walks back and forth in his living room, biting his nails due to being nervous and looking at the door every now and then, in the hopes of hearing the knock.The clock is well past the time that the other was supposed to show up, and Jungkook begins to think whether the other will show up at all like he asked him to.Jungkook let out a sigh, sitting down on the couch in the middle of the room. While doing so, the robe wrapped around him rode up his leg, showing skin.Jungkook's hair was still slightly wet from the bath that he took earlier, and the whole suite smelled like the soap that he used and the perfume that he sprayed generously.He felt nervous and he had butterflies in his stomach. He felt like a teenager again, waiting for their love to come through the door. And that was exactly what he was doing.Jungkook went through hell to get Taehyung's schedule and make some changes to it. He worked on it for hours, rescheduling things and moving things from place to another. But he finally managed to do it, to make room for tonight.Jungkook didn't mind that he had to play the role of a royal and act mean when he talked with Taehyung's coworkers while he managed to let them go into his office, which was very illegal. But so was the fact that Jungkook threatened to fire them all, so they truly did not have any other choice.The letter that he brought to Taehyung before was just a small invitation to his suite, that he knew the other had to accept. He didn't really leave him any other option as he used some particular words on his letter that he knew would make the other blood boil.If he played his cards right, Taehyung would walk through that door all red faced and feeling flustered. All according to his plans. Jungkook had things to do as well. He should be attending the hospital and help around with the patients, but he decided to be selfish tonight. He needed to be selfish.There has been a growing need to feel the other against him and to be able to touch him like before. All hidden from others staring eyes. It was sinful what they were doing, and had been doing for all these years. But perhaps they had already forgotten about the fact that the castle was a place of a so called God. Not like anyone else, even the King, had believed in what the priests had been talking about for years and years. Jungkook turned a head and became deaf when he heard such speech.If loving Taehyung was a sin, then he would enjoy the flames of hell when his day would come. Jungkook got up from the couch, feeling more nervous as he stayed still. Instead he stood up for a second, fiddling with his fingers as a a habit. Jungkook noticed the lack of something, hurrying into his closet room and looking through his last worn clothes. He let out a sigh of relief when he discovered the worn out silver ring that he always kept close to his heart, even when he could not wear it proudly due to work.Jungkook slipped the ring on his finger, admiring it for a second. It was truly idiotic, that they even had rings. But it held meaning to the both of them.Jungkook let his hands fall to his side, looking at himself in the mirror for a moment. His cheeks wore a slight blush, and his hair was pointing to ever direction. He looked like he had taken a long nap and in reality that was what he had done before bathing. He would have loved to clean is outer image out a bit, but he knew it would be all for nothing. Taehyung loved seeing him like this.Right as he thought about the other again, there was a knock on the door.It wasn't a regular knock, as then Jungkook would know to quickly cover himself up a bit more, as he wouldn't open the door like this if there was a servant coming in. But he and Taehyung have made a simple but special knock that only the two of them know. Just so that they can be relaxed when ever the other knocks on the others door.Jungkook headed towards the door, opening it after swiping his slightly sweaty palms against his robe.And there he was, stood with red cheeks and gasping for breath.Jungkook was pushed back as Taehyung made his way inside the suite and against Jungkook.'You.' Taehyung gasped for breath, his hair sticking to his forehead because of the thin layer of sweat. Jungkook smiled, knowing that the other ran all the way to the other side of the castle just to see him.'You, really wanted to ruin me with that letter?' Taehyung murmured, lifting his hand and smoothing it down the side of Jungkook's robe, feeling his ribs and waist. This gave the other goosebumps, as well as the hot puffs of his breathing against his neck.'That was my intention yes.' Jungkook laughed under his breath.It was smart move from him, to write a letter under Yoongi's name so that the other would read it fast. In fact, the letter was written by him, simply describing what he would do to the other tonight. Quite saucy from someone like him, but it went just as he expected.And Taehyung could not ignore the invitation, as it was physically impossible. Instead of pretending to be mad, as he actually wasn't at all. Taehyung just laughed while still being out of breath and gently grabbed the others face. He stared into the other eyes for a moment, his smile fading slightly before he leaned into the other.Jungkook closed his eyes, letting Taehyung hold him.It had been too long.Since he was able to feel the others gentle touch like this. Since he was able to smell his scent and feel his lips against his own.Jungkook was not a huge romantic, but god did he love this. Just being able to be with the one that you love and cherish so much. It felt magical.When they broke away from the kiss, out of breath and lips puffy. Taehyung leaned against the other, letting his head press up against Jungkook's chest. Jungkook held him, eyes closed and hands wrapped tightly around the other. All was heard was the sound of their breaths and the sound of rain falling behind the window.Jungkook's hands brushed through the others hair, smoothing out the tangles that came as the other had hurriedly removed his hair tie before coming. Taehyung lifted his head and looked at the other quietly.Jungkook smiled. 'I missed you.' He whispered.Taehyung stared back at him taking a step closer, making all space between them disappear. He lifted Jungkook's chin, gently pecking against his lips. Once, twice.Jungkook pulled him deeper and closer, lips gliding against each others and clothed skin pressed together.A warm feeling spread around his chest, as Jungkook deepened the kiss. He wanted to explore Taehyung and discover him all over again.He wanted to satisfy the other and be exhausted by him. Jungkook wanted to feel and see the other in a way that no one ever could, behind closed doors and in candle lit lighting.He wanted to feel what it felt like when you're with the one who you madly love and cherish.Jungkook felt scared during the last few weeks, as he almost lost the one who meant the most in this world to him. He needs to be reminded that Taehyung truly is here with him, alive and well. And that was exactly what Taehyung was about to prove to him. * Jin looked outside of his window, enjoying listening to the sound of rain that fell against the glass window in front of him.It was dark outside, but he could still see something as the moon shining above the castle yard gave some light. Jin could see the trees and how they moved with a swing because of the wind.The lovely servant who has been helping him for the past few days helped to walk him to the chair in front of the window, as he got so bored of staying in his bed for all this time. The servant was worried that he might get a cold from the slight breeze that came through the window, so she made sure that Jin had a blanket near him and that he was dressed warmly. She was a sweetheart, truly. Jin was very thankful for all that she had done and that Yoongi managed to talk him through of getting help in the first place. He was doubtful at first, but he is happy now.Jin leaned back in his chair, lifting his feet up gently and slowly to rest on top of the small stool placed near him. His feet had been cut badly because of the broken glass and needed some time to heal after Jungkook fished out all of the remaining pieces of glass that he missed after he was first injured.He was eating better these days and getting all the rest that he needed. He tested out his wings earlier, and he was still unable to carry his own weight, but could at least move them which was a first in a few days.Jin picked up the book that he had been reading recently, opening it where he last stopped.He had probably read all of the books in the castle that were written in his own language by now, as there were not many of them. But like magic, new books arrived yesterday after he mentioned the fact to a particular King who visited him a few days before. Jin isn't saying the books arrived just because of him, but he is pretty sure that was the case.Jin's current book was a diary of sorts, written by a fairy who lived many years ago in a different Kingdom. There weren't any known fairy writers, so most of the books that he would read were self made and old. But they were interesting to read. They gave Jin a better picture of what it was like to live years ago, and in a Kingdom where things were slightly better.Jin got to read a few pages of the book, switching his position in the chair as it could get a little bit uncomfortable. He heard some talk behind his door, and expected that the servant helping had returned and spoke with the guards standing behind his door.Jin and her had made an agreement that Jin would get to sit in the chair for a few hours before she would return to help him wash up before going back to bed. Jin didn't think that was necessary at all, but he decided to do as she said.But it wasn't the servant who returned after he gave them permission to enter, but instead the door opened to reveal a familiar figure who he knew would come at some point during the day.'Yoongi.' Jin spoke as he saw the other walk inside the suite. He almost got up to greet the other, but was stopped as Yoongi hurried over to his side and laid a hand on his shoulder.'No need for that. You just rest for now, alright.' Yoongi smiled, then noticing how Jin looked behind him as there was some sound. 'I told my guards to stay back. Perhaps your servant arrived already.' He murmured.'She is not my servant.' Jin then said. 'But yours.'Yoongi nodded his head. 'Ah yes, that is correct.' He laughed slightly awkwardly. He then took a seat next to the chair placed on the opposite side of the one that Jin was seated on. 'I assume that you are still slightly upset because i asked her to come and make sure that you are alright.'Jin was quiet for a moment, studying the other as he seemed to act so differently today. He then sighed. 'No. I am not upset.''I am in fact thankful, for everything that you did.' Jin then added, closing his book and placing it back in his lap.Yoongi smiled sweetly back at him. 'No need to thank me. I just did what i thought was the best for you. I hope i wasn't being too invasive.' Jin let out a laugh, leaning back in his chair. 'If anyone was being invasive it was me.' He murmured.Yoongi leaned forward, leaning against his knees and looking at the other. 'What do you mean by that?''I heard the rumors. Everyone has by now.' Jin said and paused. 'I feel horrible for making you seem ever worse in front of your people.'Yoongi was quiet for a moment, looking at the other while blinking his eyes rapidly. He stuttered for a moment, his lips going dry as he licked them constantly. 'Do you mean the..?''The kiss. Yes.' Jin said, blurting it out. 'Even the guards and servants are talking about it, asking me these questions that i can't answer.' He sighed.Yoongi nodded his head. He understood that the situation was unfair for the other as well. He was being interrogated just as much as he was. 'But you do realize that it is not your fault, Jin.' Yoongi then said, reminding the other.Jin stayed quiet for a while, staring outside of the window before looking at the other again. Yoongi looked so different when he visited him. He did not wear his crown or his fancy decorations that he needed to wear elsewhere at all times. Jin did not need to call him a King, but he could just call him by his name.Yoongi was just Yoongi.He changed from the seemingly cold person into this sweet and caring soul right in front of his eyes. There was a time when Jin couldn't even look at the other because of fear, and there was a time when they hurt each other. There was some hate as well. But it turned into something else over time.Jin didn't know how to describe his feelings towards the other. He was still oh so confused and so was Yoongi.Jin stared at the other for a moment, then opening his mouth to speak but pausing for a moment.He was a fairy. Yoongi was a human.Their kind were supposed to hate each other, not work together and develop some kind of feelings for each other. Jin could not lie. He could not say that he didn't feel some type of attraction towards the other, as that would be lying. And he knew the other felt something as well, but he couldn't read his mind. So Jin was unsure, of what the other was thinking about and feeling. And Jin wanted to know.'Yoongi, i-' Jin spoke, pausing in the middle. He was unsure of how to put his thoughts into words in case he would say something that he didn't mean to. But there was no other way to ask this.'Did you think that the kiss was a mistake?' * Taehyung was a mystery at times.He hid himself and his feelings from many, even from Jungkook at times. He had seen and done some things that not a lot of people could keep inside like he did at times. Jungkook knew how badly it was eating him from the inside. He wanted to smooth his hand over every scar. Let the other exhaust himself using him and help relief his stress.Jungkook removed all of his clothing, one piece at a time.Taehyung was a piece of art, and watching him like this made Jungkook feel special. No one else was able to see the other like this.The scars that decorated his body were a part of him. Jungkook did not fear them or felt disgusted by them in any way, as he knew the stories that they held behind them. Each faded and fresh mark told a different tale, that Jungkook had heard already.Jungkook moved his hand down the middle of his chest, feeling the texture of the wider scars that ran across his tan skin. He moved down, to cares his fingers against the others core muscles. Then back up to lift his chin up.'You're perfect.' Jungkook whispered, dipping forward to steal a kiss from the other.The kisses that they shared now were not all innocent and sweet. They were slowly filled with lust and despair that the two shared for each other.Taehyung pulled him closer, wanting to feel the other against his nearly unclothed skin.Though they had both been waiting for this night to come for a long time, and were both were desperate, they didn't want to hurry. They finally had time to be alone, so they would spend that time well.Breaking away from the kiss, Jungkook pulled the other towards the huge bathroom that that attached to his bedroom. There, a bath was ready and waiting for them.Taehyung let out a laugh, seeing the white rose petals laid on top of the dark tiles on the floor and the candles lit all around them. 'You really took time to make all this? I thought you weren't into romance.' He said, hugging the other from the behind.Jungkook hummed, feeling shivers go down his back as he felt the others hot skin press up against him. 'I'm not.' He then said. 'But i wanted to do something special. After everything that happened.'Taehyung understood that well. He left the others side for a moment, reaching to the counter and opening the bottle of wine that sat in a basket full of ice. Jungkook really outdid himself this time. Taehyung felt bad for just showing up.'But, even after everything that happened- we are still here.' Taehyung spoke, pouring the red liquid into the glasses prepared for them. He handed one to Jungkook and held onto his own.Jungkook let out a sigh, still wearing a faint smile on his lips. 'We really almost lost this time, you know that right.'Taehyung moved his glass around, watching the red wine swing in circles. 'I do know that.' He confessed. 'But i came back. We all did.'Jungkook stayed quiet, watching the other for a moment. He didn't need to say anything for Taehyung to understand his quiet thoughts. How many times does he need to suffer through things like this again? It is killing him on the inside, when he thinks about the other when he is out there doing his job as a officer. Taehyung knew it was hurting the other, but he couldn't stop.'That is all that matters then.' Jungkook finally said. 'That you came back.'Taehyung stayed quiet, almost saying what he always did. I will always return. The promise that Jungkook never believed in, after all these years.Taehyung quietly placed his glass away on top of the counter, reaching for Jungkook's own. He could never promise Jungkook a forever.There was no such thing.Jungkook knows that the other is hurting inside, as he cannot promise him what he wants. Jungkook would love to have a normal relationship with the other, but that is simply impossible. They can never have anything normal between them. The truth hurts, but he will keep hurting if he can be with Taehyung.They hold each other for a moment, tightly and scared to let go.That is a feeling that both of them have felt way too many times.If Jungkook had the chance to change things in life he would. He would be selfish and change Taehyung's mind about his job. He would make him quit immediately so that he could have him all for himself. But that would be just chaining the other down, and Jungkook knows that.And Taehyung can never be chained down. He is a free spirit who will fly where ever he wants to go.Jungkook knows that, and it hurts even more. To hold the other like this, only to let him go next and not know when he is able to see and hold him again.But Jungkook will go through the pain. Just to feel the others lips against his own exactly like this. All the pain and worry in their hearts are forgotten when it is replaced by love and pleasure. Only for tonight, when they are able to melt together and forget the hurtful words and the rumors. All that does not matter, when they have each other.And even through the heated kisses and shaky touches, whispers and scratches, they are able to feel each other desperation.Jungkook worshiped Taehyung. His body, his mind and his mere presence. He had missed the other in a way that could not be put into words. He felt anger and sadness when he held the other, not ever wanting to let go again.Taehyung comforted the other. Giving Jungkook all that he had, making him feel loved and remind him that he indeed was here and alive.The candles had burned out long ago, as the two of them held each other, out of breath and cheeks red.At times, Jungkook wonders if he should have listened to others around him, when they told him to stay away from the then young soldier. But Jungkook was foolish and in love. He could not change his mind.No matter how much it pains him to see the other go, it is all forgotten when Taehyung wraps his fingers around his own. Squeezing hard and reminding him. I am here, and i am not going anywhere.And god does Jungkook want to believe that. He wants to look at the other in the eyes through his own blurry vision, blocked by tears, and see that the other is telling the truth. In the end he never does. Because he fears that he will see the uncertain look in Taehyung's eyes. Instead he leans against the other, holding onto him tighter.Because just for tonight, Taehyung is here. Taehyung is his and Jungkook belongs to him.The worn out rings on their fingers will forever be a reminder of that. * Yoongi is quiet for a moment, looking at the other.Jin honestly does not know where he is going with his question and what he wants as an answer. Maybe he doesn't want one at all. He begins to regret ever even opening his mouth.'I spoke out when i shouldn't have.' He quickly said, moving in his chair nervously. 'Forget that i ever even asked that. Let's just forget all that-''No.' Yoongi then calmly said. Jin then sat in silence, waiting for the other to continue as he looked to be in a lot of thought.'I do not regret what happened. The kiss, i mean.' He said, leaning back in his chair with a small sigh. 'Everything is just so, confusing at the moment. I hope you don't feel bad about it at all, as it was not your fault. I could have stopped it from happening if i would have wanted to.''But you didn't.' Jin said, studying the others expression. 'You didn't stop me at all.'Yoongi hummed. 'No, i didn't.'Yoongi bit his bottom lip, realizing what he had basically confessed without even realizing it at first. Perhaps he still didn't understand what his own heart was making him do, as he said all these things. Perhaps Jimin had been right after all.It was time to stop trying to make sense of his feelings and let them do what they wanted for now. He had no idea why he felt this way, but whenever he was with Jin, he lost all his worries and earlier thoughts. Perhaps he was under a spell. Or perhaps he was just drawn in because of the other.Whatever the reason might be, Yoongi found himself getting up from his seat again.Jin watched quietly as the other made his way to him, lowering himself to look at him straight in the eyes.Yoongi's eyes shifted from his eyes to stare at his lips instead, swallowing once. 'Tell me to stop.' He then said.Instead of doing as he other asked him, Jin found himself staying quiet as a mouse and still as a statue.Yoongi stared at him for a moment, slowly leaning in. Jin closed his eyes, holding his breath.Yoongi wanted to pull away, to move and leave the room. He wanted to tell himself to stop and clear his mind, but it was impossible. How could he, when Jin was right in front of him and like this. Long eyelashes and puffy lips, looking like a drawing.Yoongi had lost all control. And Jin did not stop him.Instead the two met in the middle, lips colliding gently and holding still for a moment. Without even realizing it Jin's hands moved to hold the other, his book falling to the floor with a thud.It was sweet and careful, the way Yoongi dared to move his lips against the others. Like he was still asking if this was alright and fearing that the other would pull away at any given moment. But Jin didn't.Instead, the two pulled away only when there was a knock on the door.Yoongi pulled away first, straightening his back and standing straight while looking over at the door.Jin sat still, eyes looking everywhere else but Yoongi as his cheeks turned red and his wings dared to flutter.There was another knock and Jin knew it was his servant from the way how gentle she was. Yoongi let out a cough, trying to ignore the way that his ears felt hot.'I believe that i should go.' He finally said, looking at Jin again. 'You still need rest.''Yes.' Jin said, blinking his eyes furiously as a nervous habit. There was another knock, sounding louder this time.Yoongi rubbed the back of his neck once, taking one awkward step forward and then a few more before stealing one last kiss from Jin's puffy lips.Jin looked with wide eyes as the other headed towards the door, opening it to reveal the kind maid who now bowed down deeply as she hadn't expected the King to be inside the room. She looked back as Yoongi made his way through the door and into the hallway.Jin watched his figure disappear before looking at the maid, who seemed just as surprised as he was a moment ago.'I hope i didn't interrupt anything too important.' She murmured out anxiously. She sighed, then looking at Jin who hadn't yet moved from his spot after everything that happened.'My Lord, are you alright?' She then asked, after seeing Jin's face. 'Have you gained a fever. Your cheeks are very red again.'Jin brought a hand to his cheek, to feel that it indeed was very hot against his cold hand. He shook his head. 'No, i am fine. Thank you.'The servant looked unsure for a moment, but not discussing the topic anymore which Jin appreciated a lot. Instead she went ahead and began to help Jin walk into the big bathroom of the suite.'Would you mind preparing the bath slightly cooler this time.' Jin asked, fiddling with the rope attached to his clothes.Again, she seemed suspicious, but did not ask questions.Jin stayed quiet for the most of the time, his mind deep in thought. He really needed to wash his face with cold water right now.The servant prepared his bath and helped him undress and get inside. Then giving him some time to clean himself and relax while she cleaned around the house and prepared the bed. As soon as the door closed, Jin splashed cold water at his face and rubbing it a few times.He leaned back with a sigh, looking at the ceiling.That all did not just happen. It must have been a daydream.But why would he dream about something like that in the first place?Jin sunk head deep into the water, keeping his eyes closed.His mind was rushing places it should not go into.He couldn't have just thought that all inside his head. He could still feel the others touch lingering on his skin. It happened for real, but why?Whatever the reason might be, one thing was for sure. Jin felt butterflies in his stomach and a smile kept on showing up on his lips when he thought about the other. Perhaps he had gone mad. Perhaps they both had.He had never felt like this towards anyone else except his own family. And it felt nice, caring for someone like this.Could the feeling that he was feeling deep inside, be love? ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- The air felt different today, as Hoseok took his first deep breath after waking up from his slumber.He stretched his limbs, hearing a few cracks and pops as he did so. This was because he enjoyed a long run in his wolf form the night before, forgetting all about taking care of his ligaments and muscles afterwards. But he enjoyed the slight pain, as it reminded him that he had done something.Hoseok jumped up to sit on the edge of his bed, looking outside of the window close to his bed. The weather outside had changed a lot when comparing it to what it was a few days go. The sun was shining and warming the ground below, making small weeds grow already. Spring was on it's way, and it was coming fast.Hoseok let out a sigh, hopping to his feet.The usually noisy halls of the castle had turned into quiet ones, as most of the workers and servants were occupied on the yard of the castle, as most of the damage was done there. They were still in the middle of taking apart what was left of the royal church, moving the remaining parts elsewhere.This meant that the hallways were more calm and quiet, so Hoseok had been able to sleep well the past few nights. Usually the commotion and small sounds would keep him awake thanks to his great hearing.His hair looked like a nest as he took a look of himself in the mirror. He only took a small glimpse as he was still very tired and his eyes were blurry because of his long slumber, but he was able to notice what was wrong and very out of the normal.Hoseok looked back at the mirror and himself, seeing a pair of red eyes stare back at him. His own eyes.Hoseok swallowed deeply, looking at his appearance. He should have known from the very moment he woke up. His senses have been so irritated lately, and the new scents that he was able to catch this morning just made things more clear for him. He was going into rut soon.Hoseok shook his head, opening the faucet and letting cold water fall from the silver pipes. He washed his face, seeing that it calmed him down slightly as when he took a new look into the mirror, his eyes no longer looked as mad like before as they changed back to their golden color. It was a quick help, but just for now. Hoseok knew he couldn't just run away from his rut, as his body would force him to go through it.Hoseok cleaned himself up a bit, keeping eye contact with himself through the mirror at all times. Seeing his eyes look like that, filled with a blood red color that shined in the dark was a sight that he couldn't forget. But he did however forget what it was like to go into rut each time, as he had only been through it a few times due to his younger age. But Hoseok knew he was not alone with these thoughts and feelings. Luckily Jin would understand him better than anyone else. The fairy also wet through a similar process during the spring.Hoseok dressed himself and sprayed some perfume on himself as a way to cover his scent that got stronger during his rut, then remembering that the humans were not able to smell the change anyway. Perhaps Jin could, and he could for sure smell the difference on himself now. So it was a way to make him forget the rut for a moment. But not for long. Hoseok made his way through the castle, going to the kitchen and letting the staff know that he did not need breakfast delivered to his suite this morning. Due to being so nervous suddenly, he lost his appetite. He then walked down the long hallway of the castle, passing the front door and seeing a peek of the castle yard, that was still in horrible condition. He continued his way, arriving at the suites on the other side of the castle. Hoseok had great memory, but he still sometimes struggled when navigating his way through the castle. Luckily he found Jin's door in no time, and without problem. He gave the door a few knocks, waiting a moment while looking around himself.The door then opened, revealing the fairy who was still dressed in his bathrobe. Hoseok hoped that he hadn't woken the other.'Come in, Hoseok.' Jin said, greeting the him with a smile.It seemed like the other had been awake for longer, as Jin's bed was already made and books were scattered over the table that the other sat next to once letting Hoseok inside.Jin had been resting with his injures for weeks, gaining strength and the ability to move just by himself again. He could now fly and do everything by himself, so he no longer needed a servant or Jungkook's visits. He was all physically healthy again now.'I didn't know that anyone would be coming to see me this morning, so i didn't bother by cleaning up.' He smiled sheepishly and sat down on a chair near the dining room table. Hoseok pulled a chair for himself and sat down next to the other.'You should see my suite.' Hoseok murmured, remembering how the floor was covered in small branches and other things that he accidentally brought with him from the forest during his daily runs. The maids who came to clean twice a week were not too happy.The two of them chatted about many things after that, discussing about the future meetings coming up and other small things. Hoseok soon thought that it was about time for him to tell why he came and what was in his mind.'Jin, i need your advice.' Hoseok then finally said when their current conversation hit a good pause.'I don't know if i am the right person to help you, but do tell me.' Jin said after blinking his eyes quickly a few times, leaning back in his chair.Hoseok let out a small sigh, closing his eyes. 'It's spring.' He then said. When he opened his eyes again, they shined in the color of red as he looked back at Jin. 'My rut is coming soon and i don't know what to do with myself.'Jin nodded his head calmly, not affected by the others blood red eyes staring back at him. 'I understand.' He finally said.'My own heat should be coming up pretty soon as well, and i am not one bit excited for it.' He murmured out while crossing his arms. 'The humans will have a hard time understanding what we are going through.''That is what i fear the most.' Hoseok admitted. 'You and i should be attending meetings at all times and come up with new ways to make things better for everyone, as royal advisers, but how can we do that when we are going through mating season? I fear that the King and others will think we are pretending or taking advantage of what we have been given.'Jin stayed quiet for a moment, looking at Hoseok before speaking again. 'I don't think Yoongi and Jimin will have a problem with it. Both of them know about our kind and what we will go through. I am not too sure about the rest.' He sighed.'How do you know that the King will understand as well?' Hoseok then asked, using the royal name that Yoongi had been given that still felt so awkward to Jin. He would never learn to call the other that.Hoseok blinked his eyes a few times. 'I mean, i do know that you two are very close. You two are the talk of the town.'Jin stayed quiet, and Hoseok opened his mouth to speak again. 'I have heard the rumors, you know. Everyone has.' He said. 'There is something going on, that not even you two are aware of.''Oh, i'm aware of it.' Jin murmured. 'It's just all so confusing and out off hand.'Jin last saw the other almost a week ago, when Yoongi came to visit him while he was still recovering. They both know what happened then, and perhaps others do as well. Rumors spread quickly.Jin felt the affects of the spring on him as well, making him more emotional and stressed. He was over thinking everything and was on the edge. Everything that happened with Yoongi was not making him feel any better, as he was left with no answers and so many more questions.Hoseok moved slightly closer with his chair, whispering to the other like they were being watched. 'I see how he looks at you, Jin. And you can feel it too.''Hoseok, i-''You don't have to agree with me or be against my words. But you just have to acknowledge the fact that it's true on some degree. There is something going on between you two.' He spoke, voice low and serious. 'You can tell me everything Jin. I am your friend.'Jin stared at him for a moment, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. He let out a sigh.'Hoseok, we kissed, again.' He murmured out. 'And i don't know what to do. I want to run away but i can't.''Why would you want to run away?' Hoseok then asked.'I just.' Jin began, his thoughts being all over the place and not making sense inside his own head. 'I don't know.' He finally sighed.'We all know how this is going to end.' He continued, looking at his worried friend. 'I am just an adviser to him. That is all i will be, and should be.''You don't really think like that, do you?' Hoseok then asked, feeling like the other was lying to himself in some way. Hoseok could see that there was some hope in Jin's eyes, but that hope was the reason behind his stressed and pained heart. He was hopeful for nothing, in his own opinion. 'I will keep telling myself that.' Jin murmured out. 'Then someday i will truly believe it, and not feel as hurt when the time comes for me to leave.' He spoke, crossing his arms and looking out of the window near them. He bit his lip for a moment, and Hoseok saw a glimpse of sadness in his eyes.'This is not my home.' Jin said. 'I don't know where my home is, or if i even have one, but i know it is not here. I don't belong here Hoseok.'Hoseok swallowed once. 'You're only saying that because you feel so stressed and vulnerable right now. You don't really mean it Jin.''That is right. I don't really mean it, because i don't know how to feel right now.' He sighed. 'Perhaps it would be for the best if i took some more time to think by myself.' He added quietly. Hoseok understood it was his time to leave.He slowly got up from his seat, pushing the chair back onto it's original place before walking towards the front door that he came through earlier. Jin stayed and sat still, face looking the other direction.'Jin.' Hoseok then called out, before exiting the door that he had just opened. 'I will most likely leave the castle, during my rut. I won't see you in a while. Please take care of yourself if your heat begins during that time.' Hoseok murmured.There was no answer, but Hoseok knew that the other had heard what he said, and will appreciate it some day. Hoseok's hand held the door nob, twisting slightly as his feet stayed in one place. His mouth opened with silence at first, then gaining the courage and turning to the other one last time.'Also, please talk to him.' * Taehyung looked around himself, seeing that the army men walking besides his horse had their weapons near them, as they walked through the small local town of Solaria.The soldiers needed to make sure that the people of Solaria were staying as they were advised, as the new laws protecting the creatures had been just released a few days ago. After the fight on the King's coronation day, some changes needed to be made as the people of Solaria attacked the castle. It was something that couldn't be let past easily. There needed to be a punishment of some kind.Yoongi did not like the idea at first, as he wished that perhaps it could all be forgotten. But even he himself knew that something needed to be done, as the people of Solaria were out of hand. They showed their wish of wanting Yoongi dead, multiple times. So it was only natural that security needed to be more strict and the people needed to be studied.Possible small groups working against the King could be everywhere. They were gaining more people and waiting until it was the right time to attack the castle once again. Taehyung and his men needed to stop that before it even began.So that is why they are here, walking along the poorly made streets of Solaria, looking for possible clues and hints that could lead them to something big. They had all heard the rumors already, that a secret group working to dethrone the King one day were hiding inside the town. Prisoners who were captured at the coronation, told how the number of group members was getting closer to a hundred. They could be a huge potential threat one day, if they get the weapons that they need and a way inside the castle.Taehyung formed a small group from himself a few guards, who moved around the town in smaller groups.The dirty market area was busy, as cattle and chickens moved around the alley freely. People were moving quickly, buying things and selling them to each other. The amount of noise was a lot, and some didn't even recognize them moving past. Others did and they stared as Taehyung moved past with his white horse, his golden armor whining in the evening sun. He didn't need to stay to hear the curses and whispers that would come after they had left.The market wasn't the first place to look for in their list. Thanks to the few people who the guards managed to capture during the fight on Yoongi's coronation day, they were able to gather some important information about the possible groups planning against the castle.Of course they weren't going to tell them easily, or answer their questions. But when Taehyung's gun was pressed up against their skull and his finger danced on top of the trigger, they had no other choice but to speak up. The clues led them to here, the small pub at the very edge of the town. The area swarmed with drunken worker men, who laughed loudly and leaned against each other while swinging from side to side. Some who were still in their right mind, noticed them coming and turned serious as they noticed the royal markings on their armor.Taehyung jumped off his horse, handing it over to one of the guards who would be staying outside. Taehyung and a few others began walking over to the small pub, hearing the accordion being played and the drunken sounds of the men drinking inside.The sun hadn't even set yet, but the pub swarmed with people who were already out of their minds. There were a few exceptions, one being the lonely bartender behind the bar at the back. As he noticed the armed guards walk inside his pub, his facial expressions turned dark and he placed down the glass he had been cleaning.Taehyung's heavy boots stepped against the wooden floor, people watching them as they moved closer. Women who had been inside the pub with the men quickly left, as they most likely were going to perform some type of services for them- that were illegal. The music stopped and the once loud room turned quiet.The bartender looked at the group of armed castle men who entered his pub for a moment, then nodding his head before moving behind the counter. He came to stand in front of Taehyung, attempting to look intimidating as all eyes were on them.'Well, what brings a group of the Kings men into my small pub?' He asked, eyeing Taehyung closely. The mans breath stank and he had an obvious glass eye, that looked to a slightly different direction than his healthy eye. The man looked weak at first, but Taehyung knew better than to think that. He was clearly very well taught in fight.Taehyung smirked, looking back at the nervous crowd of people staying in place. 'I believe that you already know.' Taehyung spoke as he turned to look at the man again. 'But perhaps it would be better to talk behind closer doors, don't you think?'The old man looked at him for a moment, swallowing deeply as he finally nodded his head slowly. * The man looked awkward inside the small backroom of the pub, filled with royal army men. But he didn't let that bother him, and continued to look as strong as he could be, while being interrogated. Which was a hard task for most, as they usually broke down in sweat and their hands began to shake as a nervous habit. But not this man.Taehyung had a clue that perhaps the man had been near castle men before, as he didn't seem too shaken when they first showed up. This gave Taehyung the thought that the man knew that they were coming. He had been expecting them.Taehyung walked around the small room, admiring the old paintings on the walls of the small room. They were poorly done, but had character in them.The silence was deadly in the room, and all could be heard were the voices of the people behind the door leading back into the pub, and the music that began to play again.Taehyung turned around and looked at the old man again.'There have been rumors going around.' He began, walking back and forth the small room, while the man kept an eye on him as he was sat down behind a table. 'And i was wondering if you would have any idea what those rumors are about.'The man let out a small laugh, murmuring something underneath his breath as he sunk deeper into his seat. 'There are many rumors going around, about everyone.' He then said.Taehyung smiled. 'There sure are.' He spoke, stopping on his feet as he stood in front of the other.'But i was wondering more about the important rumors, and whether you have something or anything to do with them.' Taehyung spoke, leaning against the table with his two hands.The man looked serious for a moment, eyes then turning playful and his mouth opening to say something. But Taehyung didn't need to hear it, as he was sure it was another sly comment to try and change the subject. So he interrupted him even before he could say anything.'Tell me something.' Taehyung said, sitting down on top of the table. 'How important is this pub to you?'The man went silent and looked at the other, not saying anything.Taehyung hummed, understanding. 'It would be a shame if the King found it appropriate to burn it down, if anything suspicious was going on.'He was playing a game, trying to get the man to speak.Taehyung knew that the man knew why they were here, and what they wanted to know. The old man had lived long enough to see and hear everything. His pub was a place filled with drunken men who couldn't keep their mouths shut at times. He had heard more than they knew about, when it came to the secret group against the royals. He knew, and Taehyung just needed to make him say it out loud.'I see that your grandfather built this pub.' Taehyung then said, looking over to the wall again that had old paintings and drawings on it. The old blueprints of the pub where there, kept in well condition and so were the old portraits of his already passed family members. This place was important to the man, and Taehyung knew that. That is exactly why he targeted the pub as his main target, as he knew the man cared about it even thought he pretended not to.'He did.' The man finally murmured out. 'He was a man who believed in helping others, letting the poor stay inside the building during the cold seasons and giving out free meals to those who needed them. I try to follow in his footsteps, helping the citizens of Solaria.' Taehyung nodded his head, glad that he got the man speaking finally. 'You could help many Solarians by giving us the information that we need.' He then said. 'The people against the King will only lose their own and others lives, in any attempts to attack the castle. Those lives could be saved.'The man stayed quiet, looking at Taehyung in silence. He let out a sigh and moved in his chair. 'I was never against the King, or his son. I never payed much attention to the royals, but others do. As they are affected by his decisions.''I am a man who can make my own meals and feed my family. I have a roof over my head and a business that runs well. I am one of the few, who live well in this rotten country.' He murmured. 'I see homeless, sick and poor people every single day, who are just days away from dying. They deserve better.''But they are trying to gain help by trying to achieve something that will cause them just more harm.' Taehyung then spoke. 'Killing the King is not what the people need. Instead they need to wait and give him a chance, as he will help Solaria and it's citizens. Continuing the war and attacking the castle will only make things move forward much slower than they need to.'The man sighed and shook his head. 'The people talk and tell rumors, of how the King cares more about his creature alliances than his own people. Hearing that makes many men mad, and their blood boil. As their own children and wives sit at home in fear and in hunger.'The man looked at the floor, his other leg tapping against the floor anxiously.'Mister, i cannot give you names or many details.' He finally said, turning to Taehyung with a whisper. 'My own family and business would be in danger, if they found out.'Taehyung did not know what the man meant by "them", but he had an idea. The man did indeed know more than he seemed to. He had heard about the secret alliance and he could help them. But only slightly, as otherwise his whole life would be in danger. The walls have ears and eyes, when the community is so small.'Any details that you could give me, would be appreciated. And we will not be visiting you any more after this.' Taehyung spoke, wanting to assure the man that he would not be asked anything again and he would be left out of the investigation. 'If you are willing, the castle will provide you with protection from anything, up until this will all be over. I am sure that people will grow suspicious after seeing us visit you.' Taehyung then added.The man nodded his head. 'I would appreciate that. I am sure that a lot of people want to shoot me dead after seeing that the royals came for a visit, sadly.''We will make sure that does not happen.' Taehyung murmured. The pub owner went ahead and gave some information that he could. Giving out bigger information would cause everyone to realize that it was he who gave out names and locations if the case would get solved soon. He needed to make sure that he stayed safe as well, and Taehyung understood that.The first big clue that was given, was that the rumored leader of the alliance against the castle worked in the fishing business, on the port.He was rumored to have around a hundred people working under him, who all were planning to attack the castle some time soon. They held important details about the castle and knew how to navigate while being inside. They were rumored to have a clear plan, on how to take down the King.All this information gave them the reason to hurry with this knowledge.Taehyung and his men left the pub that evening, arranging shifts so that undercover castle guards would keep the pub owner and his family safe until everything would calm down.The day had came to an end, but for Taehyung it had just begun. * Hoseok looked at the other with big eyes as he saw the other from the corner of his eye when he passed through a large window in one of the halls inside the castle. He stopped and stood still, looking at him through the glass.Namjoon was outside, fighting through the small rain and cold evening air as he created small and large fire beams through the air, causing some of the small trees around him to burn.Hoseok watched in awe, as he saw the blue fire glow in front of him, so beautifully and with control.The witch truly was great like his father, and the rumors of him being like him someday were also true by the looks of it.Namjoon moved swiftly, causing the fire to follow his hand movements like water. The glowing blue effect that the fire had, made it indeed look like water. It flowed and moved carefully and beautifully. It would be hard to believe that this same fire was the cause of so much destruction an death, but it was. Like as if he had heard Hoseok's thoughts, Namjoon suddenly stopped.The fire around him died, and the flames disappeared from his side. He stumbled a bit when standing on his feet, small clouds of air coming from his mouth as he was left exhausted. Even from far away, Hoseok could see the small drops of sweat that fell from his hairline. He began to wonder how long the other had been practicing his fire spells for, and for what reason?Hoseok thought that the other was a powerful witch, who didn't need any practice. Ad the rumors around the dark forest told, that he was capable of anything. Namjoon was the son of the witch doctor after all, who was hunted and searched for years. They also wanted his son, but Namjoon managed to survive.Hoseok tilted his head slightly, looking at the other through the glass.Hoseok didn't see a powerful witch who all feared. He didn't see the one who some called death and who ran if they heard his name being said. Hoseok didn't see a legend, but merely a man who was going through a lot.Hoseok knew how much it must have taken from the other to come all the way here, into the castle and live with the ones who he feared the most- humans. It was tough for himself and Jin, so he can understand what it must feel like for someone like him.Namjoon was struggling, even though he didn't want anyone to see that. He was battling a fight inside himself that he didn't want others to see. In a way, Hoseok felt like he was seeing something he wasn't supposed to see at all. Namjoon didn't want anyone to see him like this, vulnerable and hurt. But in fact everyone felt like that at times. Hoseok looked at the other, his head still tilted and filled with wonder, and questions. He wanted to go and ask them all. But instead, he took a step away from the window and then another one.It was best this way, he thought. To let Namjoon figure things out for himself, like he would want to. The witch was capable of so many things, that Namjoon was sure he could overcome whatever this was as well. They were all going through battles of their own right now, every single one of them.Hoseok was reminded of his own battle when he focused his eyes to stare back at the image he was seeing in the reflection of the glass window. His own red eyes.Just like them all, he could not run away from his problems, but instead meet them straight on. He could not ignore his own rut as it was a part of him and who he was. He needed to do what was right for himself and the others around him.Even though it hurt, Hoseok knew he needed to leave.He took one more look at the pitiful direction of the witch, seeing Namjoon sit alone on the tiles in the side of the castle yard.He felt a switch of emotions in his heart, but he couldn't be changed by them. Hoseok was sure that the other needed to figure things out by himself, just like he himself needed to do as well.Hoseok stayed for a moment more, before taking off where he needed to go in the first place, before getting distracted. * 'I hope i am not interrupting anything important.' Hoseok apologized after he was given permission to enter Yoongi's office.Perhaps he was only let inside as the guard seemed to taken back by what he had seen when Hoseok first showed up on the others door, with his glowing red eyes. Yoongi would notice them very soon too, and couldn't help but show a surprised look as he saw the other look at him.'You came in at the right moment.' Yoongi still managed to assure him, seeming quite alright with Hoseok's changed appearance. 'I already have a guess on what your visit is about, but please, do tell me.' He then said, tidying up his desk by removing the extra pens and papers from on top of it.Hoseok stared at nothing for a moment, simply trying to come up with the right words and then say them. But it was tough, for some reason. His fears about the other not understanding him and not taking him seriously began to give him anxiety, making his thoughts go hazy.'Is it about your rut?' Yoongi then suddenly asked, breaking Hoseok from the prison of his own thoughts that were keeping him from saying anything. He simply just nodded his head, blinking his eyes a few times.'I am not an expert, by any means.' Yoongi then murmured. 'But i do know some small details, about werewolf ruts and what happens during them. But i can never know fully, as i am just a human.'Hoseok nodded his head, feeling relieved. Perhaps Jin was right after all, and Yoongi did in fact understand them more than he gave credit to the human.'I believe it would be for the best if i left, for the time being. As i would feel so trapped inside the castle and there would be too much going on when all my senses are going to be so alert at all times.' Hoseok then said. 'I would return after it is all over, and i hope this doesn't make you think any differently of me.''Why would it?' Yoongi then asked, looking at the other with kind eyes. 'You cannot control own body and what it does at times, and that happens to all of us.'He moved in his seat, leaning against his hands as he spoke. 'You leaving to take care of yourself will not make me think any differently of you. I won't think that you are escaping from your duties or any such things. I like to believe that i am a very understanding person, so please believe me Hoseok. Take all the time that you need, to make sure you stay safe and comfortable.'Hoseok stayed quiet for a moment, looking at the other to see if there was anything written on his face that would tell him that he was lying, but he saw none.Hoseok's lips twitched with a slight smile. 'Thank you, Yoongi.''No need to thank me.' Yoongi smiled. 'I should thank you for trusting me enough to tell me this.''Don't thank me, but Jin.' Hoseok then said. 'He was the one who made me get the strength to come here and speak with you.' Yoongi looked slightly taken back by the mention of the fairy, but didn't let that show on his face too much.'He told me that i could trust you, and that you would understand us.' Hoseok added, the red in his eyes calming as he no longer felt so anxious.Yoongi let out a hum, leaning back on his chair while in thought. Hoseok could sense what was going on in his mind, as he now thought about Jin as he was mentioned.'Yoongi.' Hoseok then spoke, forgetting the royal statuses and how he was supposed to speak when with the other. Right now it was just him and Yoongi, his friend and someone he trusted. He would call him a King another day and another time.'As your friend, and as Jin's friend. I have to warn you.' He then said. 'I don't know what you are thinking about when it comes to him, but i can tell you feel something more than just a friendly relationship.'Yoongi stayed quiet, staring at the other while playing with a pen that he had grabbed from his table. 'If you aren't planning on doing something with those feelings, then please back off.' Hoseok then said, voice a whisper.'If you are planning on toying with him and seeing him whenever you feel like it, making him wait and sit around hopelessly, then i truly hope that you simply just stop before things take a turn for the worst.'He didn't mean to sound so harsh at first, and just wanted to speak his mind and heart out for the other, regarding his friend. But he did end up sounding very serious and dark. Yoongi stayed quiet for a moment, nodding his head slightly. He finally let out a sigh and looked at the other seriously.'Hoseok, i don't know what i am doing.' He murmured out. 'I know i am hurting him by doing this. By doing nothing. It is hurting me too, but not as much as him, as i know that for a fact.''I keep being selfish, by meeting him even when we both know this is never going to work. I mean- i am the King of this country, Hoseok. It would be foolish and just...' He murmured, trying to find the right words to describe what he was feeling.'Just what?' Hoseok asked. 'Disgusting? Wrong?'Yoongi shook his head. 'No. God, no.'He let out a sigh, staring down at his hands that were resting in his lap, leg shaking anxiously. 'It is hard, Hoseok. To describe what i am feeling. I can't put it to words that would make any sense.''Then show your feelings instead.' Hoseok said calmly. 'Instead of spending time, trying to figure out what to say and what to feel, show those feelings. Even when they are unsure.''And forget what the people of Solaria think. The rumors and news have never meant anything to them, as they have yet began to respect you. Gives you the reason to show them that you are in charge of yourself and your own life. You can live it as you wish.''I wish it was that simple.' Yoongi said, voice low and full of something that Hoseok couldn't quite recognize coming from the other at first. Was it, sadness?'It could be.' Hoseok said, attempting to cheer the other up.'But it really isn't.' Yoongi murmured. 'I don't want to pull him into all of this. This being the castle and the royal duties. I don't want him to stay for me and be left to the side because of my work. A King can never have a healthy social life outside of his work, let alone a relationship.''It would eat me up inside if i was making him stay, when he could have a happy life outside of the castle and away from me. It would kill me, and him.' Yoongi whispered. 'I might be selfish when it comes to being around him, but i will not be selfish enough to let him whither away in his room.''You're already letting that happen.'Yoongi looked confused for a moment, opening his mouth with a silent question as he looked at Hoseok.Hoseok moved in his seat, getting up to stand on his feet.'I suggest you see and speak to him before it is too late. Spring is here, and he might never return after his heat if things keep going on like this.' Hoseok spoke, standing in front of the other. 'He too, deserves to be happy. Like you. Don't make him miserable for any longer, please.'With that said, Hoseok took his leave. Hoping that Yoongi gathered something from their small talk and that he would try and make a difference. This was the most he could do now, as he felt the small fever rising and how his eyes shined with the bright red color.Hoseok had made his own part in this all for now. He wouldn't be able to know what would happen only after he would return after his rut. He could only wish and hope that the two made up somehow, and that Jin would still be there when he returned. If he was not, and had left the castle, Hoseok knew what he needed to do. He needed to be there for his friend, and living outside of the castle would be the most dangerous thing they could do right now right after the war.Creatures like them needed to stick together, so that they could survive to the end. What ever that end was. * Jin found himself seated underneath the familiar tree growing on the small garden of his previous suite. He no longer lived in that said suite, but no one else did either as it was going through construction at the moment, due to what happened to it on the day of Yoongi's coronation. So, as it wasn't being used, Jin could go there freely. And he didn't want the old tree to feel alone, as he was the only one visiting them. And he had been the first one to communicate through it in years, perhaps centuries.The tree wasn't as old as the trees that Jin usually used to communicate through, but it had still stood tall enough so have seen the castle being built and remember the humans who lived around it.When feeling homesick, Jin would ever sometimes visit the odd memories of the tree, which had his kind in them.The memories were short, as no fairy could stay for long around the tree, due to the area that it grew around being near humans. But Jin enjoyed those short moments, when he could hear how the fairy spoke to the tree and used their magic through it. It felt familiar, though it made him sad.Jin tried to find the location of other fairies near him through magic once, as he looked through the tree that was deep inside the forest. He swore to never do it again, as the lonely darkness that surrounded him was too much to handle.He was alone, one of his kind. There were no fairies left of his colony, or they had been all dewinged and had their magic taken away from them. The thought was horrifying, and in a way Jin wished that they would have met a calm end instead. Jin has never lost the ability to use magic for longer than a few days, but the thought of losing it forever was something he could not wrap his head around. It would feel unnatural.Feeling alone and being alone were two different things.Jin could be alone, but still feel like he belonged somewhere and have some kind of meaning.Feeling alone, however, meant that even in a crowd full of people, he could still feel like he had no one. That was how he was feeling at the moment.There was movement all around him, as humans spoke and laughed, bringing life into the environment around him. But he could not feel it to it's full extent. Jin felt selfish for thinking so, but at the moment he felt like he had no one. He had Hoseok and others who were there for him and cared about him very much, but he was unable to return those feelings at the moment. He felt alone, even when he had company.The worst was that there was no way to make the feeling go away, and he just had to wait. It would go away in time, but he had to wait a while.Getting used to this all has been a huge challenge. The fact that he was the only fairy in Solaria, and that no one from his colony survived. Being surrounded by humans, who used to be his enemies, was the biggest challenge. Or so he thought.No, the biggest challenge so far, has been letting his heart fall in love with one human so foolishly. Jin let his hand drop down into his lap, the feeling of the trees bark still lingering against his skin.He let his head hang low, eyes closed as he stayed quiet.He let out a sigh, opening his eyes and looking up at the tree. 'I am being an idiot, aren't i?' He whispered.'For staying by my own will and getting hurt in the end.' He murmured, wings fluttering slightly in the cool evening feather. His bare feet laid against the ground, feeling the small leaves of grass growing and poking against his skin.'I don't know how much i can push myself through.' Jin continued, knowing that the tree could not speak back but give answers through different ways. 'I know i will only get more hurt in the end.'He hesitated for a moment, then slowly lifting his hand back up and placing it against the bark of the tree. He closed his eyes and let the magic flow through him.The tree began to show him his own memories, making Jin relive everything that had happened in the last few months that he had been inside the castle for. He relived the injuries, felt the pain again that he once felt in real life. He saw himself almost die and being brought back to life. He remembered what it felt like to almost take his last breath and think how he almost left the life that he was living.He relived the worried looks, the care that others had for him. He saw Yoongi, come see him every day and worry about him. He saw the kisses that they shared.It was all too much.Jin's hand formed into a fist, that he then removed from the tree and held in his lap. The magical glow around him slowly died as he let his magic calm down, leaving him in the dark.What the tree showed him, did not answer his questions fully. He wanted to know if it was truly worth it in the end, staying and going through the pain of not being able to be with the one who he loves. He understood what the tree was trying to make him see, which were all of the good things that had happened and which he should be grateful for. But it felt impossible to do so at the moment when he felt so down and alone.The tree did not show him the times he cried alone, and when he missed the ones who should have been there for him. He cannot blame others for his misery, but he wanted to as he had to be selfish for once.Why did Yoongi never show up after their last kiss? Why did he just never come and leave him be..? It felt absolutely awful, and like he had been used and forgotten. Just like all fairies were, when it came to being with humans.Would Jin too be just used as a toy and then thrown away when he was no longer needed? Would he face the same fate that many other fairies did, when it came to being with humans?He didn't want to believe that Yoongi would be capable of doing something like that, but he could not say for sure, due to feeling so unsure at the moment. And that was terrifying. He wanted to believe with all his heart, that the other was a kind person who didn't want to hurt him. But it was hard to believe that fully. They all had bad sides to them, and Jin had yet to see Yoongi's. Perhaps he had just discovered that side to him, and he couldn't say that he liked it.In the end, Jin felt like he could only truly blame himself. For letting himself fall for the other, even when he should have known from the start that it could never work out like he would want it to. There could never be a happy ending, when it came to the two of them.So would Jin still go through it all, just to get hurt in the end?Perhaps yes, as he was that crazy about the other. But that would be the end for him. And maybe he liked to gamble a little, as he simply could not stop thinking about the other. * Hoseok knew the forest well, so that he could navigate his way through it and get to the other side of Solaria in a matter of hours.He left the castle a moment ago, after he gathered the things that he would need to survive and after he had spoken with a few more people like Taehyung and Jungkook. They didn't understand him as well as Yoongi did, but they manged to understand why Hoseok would be leaving the castle in the end when he explained it well enough. Now Taehyung couldn't use him in the missions that they were working on, and Jungkook lost another healer for a while, but they would survive.Hoseok would be spending most of his time in his wolf form, hiding in some cave while fighting with himself as the other half wanted to go outside and find a mate.Hoseok already knew that finding a mate would be impossible, as there hasn't been another wolf in his area for months, as he has tried to search for others every time he has been in his wolf form. And he could not risk his life, by travelling further and outside of the country just to find a mate, as hunters were prepared during mating season.The new laws had just been put to use, so this meant that it was currently illegal to hunt creatures anymore, but the situation would not change for a few years to come. Instead hunters would get paid more for their illegal work, and the creatures would be more expensive as they would be only sold in the black market.So he needed to choose between staying alive, or satisfying himself. Which sounded like an easy choice to make, but it became much more difficult when he was in full rut.He has spent mating season alone many times before, as even thought he is an Alpha and the leader of his pack, no one was really wanting to mate with him due to being half human. And Hoseok could not force anyone to be with him, even though it was possible.Also, when more and more members of his pack were being hunted and captured, this left him with less and less candidates to spend a rut with. And mating with a family member was not only forbidden but extremely disgusting.So Hoseok didn't really have any other option but to spend this rut alone as well.They were living dangerous times, and being a creature did not make it any easier. Hoseok knew that he could lose his life during this mating season, as all hunters were on the look out for lonely wolves who were trying to find a mate. Hoseok was only trying to find a place to hide in, but could still meet up with a human easily.He knew the area quite well, and which places had humans travelling through them often, so that he would know to avoid those places.The dark forest would be the first place to go to, as it was known to be a place for creatures like him, but Hoseok needed to avoid other creatures as well. If they were in groups, they would attract more humans towards them and be in possible danger. He needed to be as careful as possible.Hoseok headed towards the very edge of Solaria, passing through forests and dodging small towns as he ran for hours straight.He didn't have much knowledge when it came to living outside of the country, as he never went pass the boarder or met anyone from a different pack who was from another land. But ever with that little knowledge, he decided to gamble and continue forward.Stepping onto the unknown land felt odd and unfamiliar, but Hoseok brushed the feeling off and picked up pace. He needed to find shelter, and finding the perfect spot to spend a rut in wasn't always easy.Hoseok had Jin's small bag hanging from his side, filled with small things like a knife, a needle and some yarn. He didn't need much, and some clothes for his human form. If he did happen to meet humans, he could always try to disguise himself as a human to try and trick them. But all humans could see the red eyes that he would be having for the next long week.So if he were to come in contact with a human, it would not end well. He would have to protect himself, perhaps even taking the humans life in the process.As a werewolf who was also half human, Hoseok has felt confused and torn many times. He has had to protect his own kind and pack before, needing to take the life's of humans who acted violent. It was an odd moment, when he had to kill someone who shared the same blood as him. To him, it felt like he had just killed another wolf. The other of course could never understand how he felt, as they were pure bred.Being the only half-breed that he has ever met, made him lonely at times. There really wasn't a place that he ever felt home in, as he was different from everybody. But he got used to being the odd one out after all this time. It never felt good, when some other wolf would notice the human scent on him and put one and two together and smirk at him, then speaking behind his back.As a pack leader, Hoseok proved his spot when he sunk his teeth deep into one loudmouth wolf who dared to challenge him, calling him a mongrel and saying that his blood had been tainted, cursing his father. That was enough to drive him mad.Hoseok did not take the wolves life, like others would have done had they been the pack leader. But instead he taught him a lesson. To never dare challenge him again, and to let everyone else know that as well.He had always been kind and strong, but there were times when he felt helpless and alone.Being captured by the hunters and taking him away from his small remaining pack that had lost more and more members each time the hunters came. Hoseok remembers the cage, made of gold and the guns pointed at him. He never wants to be treated like that again.To keep it that way, Hoseok needs to make sure that no matter what, he will survive this and return safely. No matter what happens. * Perhaps he left because the castle felt so unfamiliar to him all of a sudden. Ever since he had been locked up and caused an uproar in the community, Jimin hasn't been able to live inside the castle again comfortably. He had guilt pressing down on his shoulders as well as hate, as he still experienced some odd looks and rumors when he would walk down the castle halls. He would be forever known as the Prince who betrayed his own father. So, to remove himself from all of the drama and stress, Jimin found himself visiting the royal stables more often.There were little people there, and it was calm. He could spend hours by being with the horses and avoiding his responsibilities. It was selfish, very much so, but he felt like he needed to do this. Ever since being injured, he began to think differently. Life was not just something that was given to you. He had earned it at some point, the ability to live. Even before they were all born, they had to fight for a spot. Jimin has needed to fight for his life multiple times. Others have done the same for him.Jimin was shocked when he heard what the advisers had told to Yoongi, about their mother who he can barely remember anymore.She did not die because of a disease, but was killed instead. It was horrible to know that, after all of these years. She was killed by the very people who he, Yoongi and their father had been trusting for years.It left them both in confusion and heartbreak. She would have been here, if it wasn't for those horrible people who their father worked together with. It was upsetting to think, what life would have been like if they both had grown up together with their mother.It hurt to imagine, so Jimin tried not to. Instead he pushed the thoughts away for now, wanting to heal completely first. But that was almost impossible, as he was sure that he could never heal completely mentally again. But that goes for all of them.Jimin has seen what war and murder does to a person over the years. He has seen it happen to his own brother and the ones who he care for the most. He has been kept safe, for most of the time. But it was about time he too learned what life was like outside of the protected castle.Jimin still sometimes wakes up in the middle of the night, feeling the same excruciating pain that he had when the bullet pierced his flesh and infected the area around his side. He still sometimes hears the sounds, of how his arrow cracked the skulls of the men who he was attacked by. It would haunt him forever.He would wake up while covered in sweat, gasping for air and looking around him with wide eyes. Still not believing that he was safe from what had happened.Jimin shook his head, his hands grasping the soft hairs of the white horse he was petting.He took a deep breath in through his nose, trying to calm himself. His heart was beating faster again, as he relived the moments that happened inside the forest.He needed to clear his head, go on a long run with the horse and come back when he felt better. That was the only thing he could come up with, that would help him these days.Jungkook tried to help him, by having a conversation in his office about the nightmares and daydreams that he was having, and he even gave him some medication to help him sleep better. But none of those helped. He still wakes up each night, feeling scared and feeling in danger.So Jimin comes here daily now, as it helps with his daydreams. It sometimes makes him exhausted enough that he sleeps somewhat well around few hours before waking up. But he cannot go on like this for long.But just like any other day now, Jimin will still come here and choose a horse that he will take out for a long run by himself. He never takes a guard with him, as he needs to spend this time alone. As it is the only healing he is getting right now.The servants taking care of the horses never ask any questions and simply just bow their heads, which he is grateful for. Jimin doesn't want people to know about his unstable situation at the moment, as it would only give people more things to spread rumors about him.He knows it is just a simple fix and that he is only running away from your problems. But when you are feelings as desperate as him, you would be willing to do anything. * The candle bringing light into his room was almost dead, the melted wax already overflowing from the small plate underneath it that was protecting the wooden table.Yoongi looked at it with a blank expression.The book on his lap had already closed and he lost the page that he was reading before. But that wasn't a problem, as he would need to start all over again anyways as he can't remember anything that he read before.The bed behind him looked inviting, as the sheets were changed and prepared just for him so he could sleep well. But he couldn't even look at it's direction at the moment.Yoongi moved slowly, taking the book and placing it back into it's place on top of his table. His eyes stayed looking at one place for a moment, eyeing the other book that was underneath the book that he had attempted to read before.The book about fairies.Yoongi frowned, looking away.He wished that things could be different. That he could forget his responsibilities and ignore what the people expected from him. So he could just leave and go meet the other. It would be hard to do that, but not impossible. Yet he was still thinking about it, not having made his decision.He got up from his seat, walking to the large bathroom that was attached to his office space and bedroom.No matter how hard he tried to hide from people, he would still always be watched. The mirror in front of him, showed him the one who he feared the most.Himself.Yoongi was afraid of many things. He was afraid of disappointing others and bringing others pain. He was afraid of getting hurt and being forgotten. He had many fears, and the golden crown on top of his head only weighted him down more.The crown represented everything he once feared. The expectations of others, the huge responsibility on his shoulders that kept growing each day. He had become the head figure of his country, that everyone needed to obey. He once thought that it would be easy to get the respect of others, like his father had. But he has come to the realization that someone will always be against him. He will always have enemies who will not agree with him and who want to take him down.Wanting to stay neutral and keep a low profile, Yoongi has been afraid of making mistakes while living his life. He is being watched by everyone, and the pressure of that all has been making him not see what was important to him, before he is about to lose it.Yoongi knows that he has been wrong, that he has been an idiot.He has been a coward, by not visiting the other. There are many reasons behind why he never did, but the only one that was keeping him from going was that he was afraid.He never wanted to hurt Jin, and he never wanted to cause him any pain. He cares for him.Yoongi has come to the terms with the fact that he indeed does feel something towards the fairy, and that those feelings are something else that he feels towards a friend. He knows that now, and needs to do something about it.But he is scared, of hurting the other.Yoongi is in the spotlight twenty four hours a day. Everyone looks up to him as the King and leader of the country. The thought of having the other also be there, under all that pressure feels unfair to him.And that is not even the biggest problem, as the chances of Jin being attacked by the ones who would hear about them and him being in danger because of Yoongi.He feels foolish, when imagining them being together. It would never happen, as the other already hates him. And it isn't a wonder. Yoongi would feel hateful towards himself as well, like he already does a little.He had a chance, and he messed it up.He gained Jin's trust over the months that they have known each other, and he destroyed it all by letting that trust wither away when he got cold feet.He felt ridiculous and like an idiot. He was the reason why the other was upset and down, like Hoseok told him. He felt like scum.But he couldn't hide and run away anymore. He needed to make things right before it was all too late.He would meet the other, apologize and hear out what he has been feeling for all this time.Then, it would be all up to Jin to make the decision. Yoongi had alright been given the chance to make things work, and he ruined that. So he would have to trust Jin now.If he never wanted to see him like this again, and only work together with him- then Yoongi would have to be alright with that. In fact, he would be grateful if that was what the other decided, as he could also announce that he would be leaving.If Hoseok was telling the truth, and Jin was having his heat soon, he might have to think hard about whether he would be coming back at all.Yoongi wished that he would, because of his selfish needs.He still wanted to see him, even if he couldn't touch him. Even if he couldn't kiss him.It felt bad to think about that possibility, of seeing him each day but never getting the chance to be more than just coworkers, like they were supposed to be.Yoongi wasn't in charge of making the decision anymore. Instead he removed his crown, placing it down on the top of his nightstand. Taking off the heavy crown removed some of the weight from his shoulders, but not from his heart.With all that burden and worry, Yoongi exited his suite and ordered his guards to stay back, having to raise his voice slightly.He needed to walk alone, getting some time to clear his head and come up with what to say.For the first time in a long time, Yoongi felt nervous and uneasy.He wished and hoped, that it wasn't already too late. And if it was, he didn't know if he would be able to forgive himself due to the regret. * After the sun had set a long time ago, and the wildlife around him had calmed down for their slumber, Hoseok managed to find a place that he could stay in for the night.The spot wasn't perfect, as the cave that he found was slightly too small for his licking but he still fit inside fine. There was a source for water near, but it was a small travel away. As his rut hadn't began fully yet, he could still venture further and find a better place tomorrow morning, but he needed to stop for now.He was quite exhausted and worn from the long travel, and needed to stop before he couldn't carry on any further.He wouldn't be able to hunt anything anymore, so he would need to sleep with an empty stomach for this night. He would have to wake up earlier in the morning so he could quickly hunt before leaving to find a better spot.But he would settle down for now.The cave that he found was previously used by a bear, probably during the winter. He could still smell the bear, who was no longer near the area and had left. Hoseok made sure that the previous owner had truly left by following the scent around for a while, to see that the bear had truly left and wouldn't return. The last thing he needed to go through while on his rut was a fight against a bear.When making sure that the cave wasn't being used by anyone else, Hoseok made sure that the cave was a safe place for him to stay in.The worst thing about it was that it only had one exit. If he was being attacked by something, or hunted by a human, he wouldn't have any other way to get out of the cave except for the one exit. This made staying there extremely dangerous, but he had no other choice for tonight. He would either stay here, or stay in the open. Which would be ever more dangerous.So Hoseok had no other choice but make himself comfortable for the night.His big wolf frame fit inside the cave well, as he went all the way to the back where the wind wouldn't blow and water couldn't get inside. It was a tight squeeze to turn around due to his large size, but he managed to do it.While crawled up in a ball, Hoseok rest his chin on top of his large front paws, blinking his eyes a few times in the dark. It had been a while since he last had to sleep in his wolf form. It would take some time before he got used to it, but he would get used to it quickly. As he did in fact spend most of his time in his wolf form before being brought to the castle.Trying to ignore the small sounds and noises that nature always made, Hoseok somehow managed to close his eyes, and fall somewhat asleep after struggling for a while. * 'You seem a bit down.'Jimin's heart almost missed a beat as he heard the voice of someone speaking right behind him. He had stopped to look at the lake near the castle, seeing the ducks swim around it and the small fish that would sometimes touch the surface of the water. He was so immersed in watching this one particular duck family, that he didn't even hear Namjoon sneak up on him.'Dear God, you scared me.' He gasped, closing his eyes and catching his breath as Namjoon only smirked. 'Have you not heard of warning someone before you just decide to walk up behind them like that?''I forgot how bad humans heard things. What are you by your self all the way here anyways?' Namjoon murmured, hiding his hands deeper inside his pockets.'Not all of us have super hearing.' Jimin sighed, watching the other.Namjoon looked at the lake, probably noticing the swimming ducks as well. His purple eyes stared at them for a while, his smirk disappearing from his lips. He turned to look at Jimin again.'What?' He asked. 'Is there something on my face, Prince?'Jimin rolled his eyes. 'Since when have you decided to start calling me that. I thought you hated calling people by their roles, Adviser.''I do.' Namjoon said. 'It was to annoy you, and it seems like it worked.'Jimin ignored the other, holding tightly onto the rope that his horse was attached to, who stood kindly by his side, nibbling on the grass on the ground. 'You never answered my question.' Namjoon then spoke, breaking the calm silence once again. Jimin turned to look at him, looking confused for a moment. Namjoon then repeated himself. 'You never told me why you were out here, alone at such a late hour.''Does it matter?' Jimin then asked, rising his brow. 'I don't really have to ask anyone for permission.''I know that.' Namjoon sighed. 'Just seems odd that a Prince would travel out all alone like this, when we are all living dangerous times right now.'A small smile spread onto Jimin's lips. 'Sounds like someone was worried for me.''Don't be ridiculous.' Namjoon laughed without humor. 'I just don't want more people getting injured while going out to search for you, again.' He murmured.'Fair enough.' Jimin said, crossing his arms and pretending to look offended. 'I knew i shouldn't expect any actual care coming from you.''You're right on that.' Namjoon smiled, moving on his feet slightly. It was getting colder now that the sun had set and night was coming. He looked at Jimin for a moment, moving his cane slightly to tap it against his leg.'You should go back inside. You have been away for hours now.' He murmured before beginning to walk away, fixing the scarf around his neck.Jimin stood still for a moment, waiting. He then turned around to look as Namjoon continued to walk away. A small smile spread onto his lips.'Hey Namjoon.' He then called out. He caught the others attention and made him turn around. and look back at him. 'Thank you.' Jimin then finally said.Namjoon stood still for a moment, then slowly continuing his way away.Jimin didn't need to hear anything, to know that Namjoon had accepted his thank you. Like he didn't need the other to admit that he was actually worried for him, because he knew that even when he wouldn't admit it.Jimin didn't know why, but Namjoon had taken it on himself to make sure he was fine, even when no one expected that from him. Not even Jimin himself.Namjoon was in fact the last person that he would expect to come and check up on him, due to their past. They didn't start off that well, with almost killing each other and everything. But they promised to put that behind them, as they became coworkers instead.But Jimin was still unsure on how to act around the other and what to call him.Their relationship was odd, as they both have almost died after meeting each other, and they both have saved each other. They used to hate each other, and now that the feeling of hate was removed from between them- neither of them knew how else to feel. It needs time to get used to.Jimin is grateful to Namjoon because of many reasons, one being that he took care of him when he was only a few steps away from deaths door. He healed him and took care of him, which would have felt impossible to both of them at the time if they would have had to think about it beforehand. But when it came to the situation, Namjoon decided to put behind all the past and help him. Jimin knows how much that meant to the other, and how hard it was to do it.But hadn't he made that decision, and simply left Jimin there when he was injured, he would not be here. So Jimin will always be grateful for the other, and the feeling is somewhat mutual, as Jimin has saved Namjoon's life not only once but twice before. Neither of them would be here if it weren't for the other, which is crazy to think about at times.Jimin doesn't know what they are right now. He can't call Namjoon his enemy anymore, and he never really has called him that since the beginning. But he was an enemy to Namjoon.The hateful feelings between them were all still fresh in both of their memories. Perhaps they could never forget them completely. But Jimin wished that they could.He would like to start off fresh some day, when he no longer struggled while looking at the other. The memories of his painful experience got stronger when he looked at him, as it brought him back to the time when he was fighting for his life.Jimin hated to admit it, but he needed help. So that he could live his life normally again, without feeling like he was still living that nightmare all over again. * Jin didn't know how long he had spent time outside, next to the familiar tree.Perhaps it had been hours, but he couldn't tell. He didn't feel hungry or tired. He just felt exhausted in a way that was hard to describe. He did not feel like shedding tears, but he felt a lump inside his chest that was trying to make him let out his emotions. His hands trembled from time to time, and that was because he was trying to focus so hard on staying calm because his heart was beating so fast against his chest.He felt foolish, for getting himself in this situation. It felt like it was all his fault from the start. Had he not messed around like he did, none of this would have happened.He could have said no to Yoongi's invitation for dinner. He could have found Jimin's location some other way, and not needed Yoongi's help in the forest. He could have removed the poison from the other using another way, and he wouldn't have needed to kiss the other.He brought this pain upon himself, and he had no one else to blame.He didn't even realize the first hot tear that escaped his heavy eyes, until it slid down his cheek and neck slowly.Jin closed his eyes tightly, biting his teeth together.He shouldn't be crying. He really shouldn't. But he couldn't help it.The last time he remembers crying was when he was first brought into the castle and placed in his cell room, chained down and held captive.Jin did not cry when he felt horrible pain or torture. His tears held magic in them and could be used wrongly if someone who practiced black magic got a hold of them.But instead he shed tears when his heart was in pain, in a moment like this. He felt weak and like an idiot. But even then, he could not stop the tears from coming.Jin brought his knees closer to himself, trying to make himself look smaller as if someone was watching him. It was just to cover himself and his pitiful self. He didn't want others to see him during his weakest point.He knew that the only one who would visit him would be Hoseok, who had probably already left the castle by now. He felt sorry for not saying goodbye properly before, but he will understand.Not expecting anyone, Jin felt surprised when he heard his name being called.'Jin!' He heard it again, lifting his head slowly to look up and in the direction of the voice.Jin saw the other run inside the destroyed suite, looking at him as he made his way outside and into the garden.'Yoongi.' Jin whispered out as he saw him come his way, getting up to stand on his feet.Yoongi did not hesitate when he ran up to the other, pulling him against himself as soon as he was by his side.He held him tightly, not saying anything at first as he just held onto him for dear life. When he finally said something, his voice was shaky and quiet. 'You have no idea how worried i was about you.' Yoongi said, closing his eyes as he hugged Jin.Had he been crying? Why was he so worried about him? Jin couldn't understand what made him feel so worried all of a sudden and why he would come to him like this, pulling him into a tight embrace.'I looked everywhere for you.' Yoongi then added, his nose sounding runny and blocked. 'I thought it was too late by now. To see you again.' He added, suddenly breaking with a sob.Jin was surprised, staying quiet as he listened the other speak.'When i couldn't find you in your suite or the library, i got so scared and looked everywhere. I thought i had lost you by now.'Jin understood now. Yoongi had tried to come and talk with him, but as he couldn't find him where he was supposed to be, he became panicked. Jin doesn't even know how the other thought to come and look for him here, but he is glad that he did.'But you found me.' Jin then finally said, his voice sounding a bit weak as he had not spoken in a while. He felt how Yoongi nodded against his shoulder. 'You found me.' Jin repeated himself, closing his eyes as he finally hugged the other back.They stay still for a moment, just embracing each other and feeling relieved. Yoongi felt relieved because he knew he hadn't lost the other just yet, and Jin because he knows that Yoongi finally truly cares about him.Having calmed down enough, Yoongi finally manages to pull away from Jin, looking at him with slightly puffy eyes. 'I have many things that i need to apologize for.' He begins. Jin wants to say that it's alright, and that he doesn't need to apologize for anything, but he stops himself from saying that. Because he needs to remain tough and remind himself that the other was the reason why he was crying just a moment ago. The hug changed nothing, though it made him gain some hope that things could turn out for the best.Instead of hugging each other, Yoongi held onto Jin's hands instead, looking down between them. 'I have to apologize for simply leaving you, because i was a coward and couldn't bring myself to be responsible.' He says after lifting his head. 'No matter how hard things were for me, i made a horrible mistake that i regretted each day, which was leaving you be without an explanation. It was torture.''I never regretted anything that happened. None of the kisses, none of the hours spent by your side and everything that we went through. I was simply too scared to bring things forward. And instead of locking myself up and never speaking to you, i should have came sooner and told this all before it would be too late.'Jin agreed with him, nodding his head. 'You should have done that.' He spoke, cheeks red and voice raspy. 'I thought that i had done something wrong, and upset you. Or that you were just using me like everyone else would.''God no.' Yoongi shook his head, looking horrified. 'I could never do that. But it is hard for you to believe that now that i have made you loose your trust towards me.''You haven't made me lost it completely.' Jin then said. 'But it has been shaken.' Yoongi understood well and nodded his head.There was a pause and Jin decided to ask the question that had been on his mind for quite some time already.'Yoongi, please tell me. What are we?'Yoongi was quiet for a moment, just looking at Jin with kind eyes. The tears had stopped falling for now, but the redness in his eyes reminded Jin how the other had been sobbing only a moment ago.It had been a slight shock to see the other act like that, as Jin doesn't remember a time when the other would have cried. He didn't even shed a tear when his own father passed.'I am not sure.' Yoongi finally said. 'I am not sure what we are, right now. And i am unsure on what we will become in the future.'Yoongi was being realistic, and Jin appreciated that. There was no fairy tale ending to this, where he would say that they could be together forever and live happily, as that was just impossible. That couldn't happen easily between them two. Not without a fight.Jin was quiet for a while, then nodding his head. 'Can we... Can we even have a future? Together?'Yoongi smiled sadly. 'I am not sure.'Jin had known that from the start, but it still hurt to hear it. He sighed. 'Hearing that being said hurts even more than i thought it would.''I know.' Yoongi murmured out, giving Jin's hand a slight squeeze. 'I am sorry.'Jin shook his head slightly. 'That is not your fault. You can't choose what life brings you. You have a duty to fill, and i cannot get in the middle of it, so i won't distract you.''But i want you to.' Yoongi then suddenly said. 'I want you to be in the middle of it.''Yoongi, you don't mean that.' Jin murmured.'But i do.' Yoongi said, pulling Jin slightly closer to himself. 'I do mean it. It sounds selfish and wrong on both of our parts, but i want to have you in my life, even when we don't know where we will end up.'Jin almost wanted to make him stop and not let him say all these things, because it was only making things harder for the both of us. They both knew that in the end, they would only end up hurting each other because there couldn't be an 'us' when it came to them. Everyone and everything was against them. But Jin couldn't bring himself to stop Yoongi, not when he was finally opening up to him and showing him his heart.'I just- i can't bare to lose you Jin. You mean too much for me at this point that i could let you walk away that easily after i made a mistake. I just can't let that happen without trying to make things right while i still have the chance.'Yoongi looked at him sincerely, his hands holding onto Jin tightly with his hands as the wind blew colder than before that late evening.'Letting you go, would be the biggest mistake of my life. I don't know what i would do if you left, without giving me the chance of trying to make things work out for us.''Jin, i.' He sighed, eyes blinking a few times. 'I am in love with you.'Jin was speechless for a while, just looking at Yoongi who was trying to read his thoughts.Everything was unknown and something that neither of them could predict in the future. Everything would be unsure and scary, and Jin never knew if he could stay and if what they had would last.Taking a risk was scary and terrifying, but Jin didn't need to do that alone. Because he finally knew that he wasn't alone with these feelings.Jin removed a hand that was being grasped by Yoongi, and moved it to touch his cheek gently.Jin's thumb gently moved over the dried streaks of the tears that once fell down the others pale cheeks. He moved his thumb so that it hovered past his plump lips that Jin stared at for a second before looking at Yoongi's eyes again.There was no hint of regret or fear there. Only trust and reassurance.Jin did not hesitate to place his lips against the others. They might be crazy and they might be foolish, but both of them want this.Yoongi knows that Jin deserves someone better than him, who he could be with and have a more fulfilling life with.But despite knowing that, Jin had fallen in love with Yoongi, and knows that the road ahead will be tough for him. As Yoongi could be with someone who he could introduce to the public proudly and make his people happy, he will now either keep their relationship a secret or come out to the public with it, causing more harm to his name as a King.Had they been born as different people, with more similar lives, perhaps the road ahead wouldn't be so difficult. But they have no one else to blame but themselves, as they decided to fall in love with each other.A King and a fairy.They were an odd couple, who would experience many odd looks and attempted acts of violence over the time that they will be together. As sadistic as it sounds, they both wish it would last forever.All the evil looks and comments will be worth it. All the pain will be worth it. If they remain together, like this. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- The scream that rang in many peoples ears, was the first indicator that something was wrong. Then it was the sound of a gun shot, that would leave a dead man on the floor of the pub.The owner, was murdered.Taehyung looked at his motionless body with grief on his face. He turned to his guards, giving them the permission to remove his body from the back room where he was found. The cause of death was simple, a bullet to the head.After the rumors of a crime in the pub has spread to the Royal guards, Taehyung knew he needed to check things out for himself, to see what had happened.His worst fear came to life, when he realized who the victim was.The pub owner, the man who shared his important information with them about the possible secret group, had been killed.This made Taehyung believe in his own theory even more. That there indeed was a secret group among the humans, who were plotting against the King and wished death upon him. Taehyung was sad, that the man who could help them the most had been killed. He was innocent after all, and had to pay with his life when he shared that important information with them. People had known that the Royal guard had visited the pub, and words spread fast in the community. It didn't take even twelve hours, before the man was dead.Taehyung felt apologetic. His whole family was now in danger too. This all happened so fast, that they didn't even have time to make sure that the man and his family would get protection from the Royal guards like Taehyung had promised before.He truly felt that this was his fault, as he had not worked fast enough. But he could not stop and grief over his mistake. If he were to do so, he would risk someone else's life as well if he would not work fast enough.They needed to find the murderer, and the secret place where the group against the King might be hiding at.And they needed to be fast. * Hoseok crawled slowly. He stayed low in his wolf form, quietly moving towards his pray.The deer didn't suspect a thing, as it kept on drinking from the small puddle in the middle of the woods. It's tail wagged from side to side, ears moving as it listened to it's surroundings. But it couldn't hear the wolf, who had been training to move silently for most of his life. Hoseok no longer felt human.After spending time in his wolf form again, he felt like the animal that he was on the inside. He had missed this.Driven by the wolf inside of him, and the rut that was making him see everything in red, Hoseok jumped forward and sunk his teeth onto the unsuspecting deer. It let out a small sound, before Hoseok could bite around it's neck. Leaving it mute and spastic, as it tried to escape his grip. But it was no use, as Hoseok already had done the damage. Ripping off the first chunk of fresh meat.Tasting blood, meat and muscle, Hoseok felt himself being filled.But taking care of his hunger was calming him only a little.Hoseok was still hungry, as his rut was driving him to do more to keep him satisfied.But Hoseok couldn't listen to his rut all the time. If he were to do so, he would be dead already.His rut was driving him crazy. He hated it.Hoseok hated going through a rut every year. It was the worst time for him, and he felt the most in danger then.If he were to do as his rut told him, he would be travelling to dangerous lands, just in the hopes of finding a mate. Which would be suicidal at the time.He is a black alpha wolf. He is rare and wanted in the hunter community. Humans know where to search for wolves during spring when they are going through their heats and ruts. It is hunting season, and Hoseok is in danger at all times.But he still feels safer out here than inside the castle. He had nightmares before he left. About him going into rut, and not controlling himself. The nightmares of him attacking some guard during the night on the castle hallways were enough to make him want to leave.When his wolf is hungry for blood, he wouldn't have any control over himself. He could have hurt some people, and that was not what he wanted.So even though it is dangerous, he knew he had to leave. Because here, he is far away from the people that he trusts and is the most afraid of hurting.After finishing his feed, Hoseok lifts his head to look far into the horizon. His black fur is tinted with dark blood, resembling his eyes.As quietly as he came, he leaves the scene for now.His hunger is in control for now, but it will not be long until he craves for more and loses all control over himself again. * Jin was focused, pen pointing at each letter that was written down on a piece of paper in front of him.The human language was still unfamiliar and odd to him, and the symbols didn't make sense to him. They were different from the language that he was used to reading.But as a Royal adviser, he needed to learn to read the human language used in Solaria and write in it as well. He didn't want to seem less intelligent in front of the other advisers. He wanted to get the same amount of respect as others and feel more confident.But learning a new language was harder than he expected.It was a huge help that he could already speak human, so he only had to learn how to read and write it. But it was still very hard.He had been attempting to learn the symbols for a while now, but a lot of things had been happening ever since, so he forgot everything he had learned. You couldn't really learn something like a new language while you were in the middle of war.As things seemed to be calm at the moment, for now. Jin knew he needed to pull himself together and really invest his time into this.He has always enjoyed reading books and learning new things like spells, so he didn't mind spending time learning this. It was calming in a way, when he only needed to focus on one thing at the moment.Though his mind was also filled with many other thoughts as well.Yoongi being the most important one of them all. Jin smiled, his eyes still on the book.Everything that had happened leading up to this day was a lot. There were moments of agonizing pain and tear jerking happiness. Sometimes Jin questioned if it was all worth it at all, but he always came to the same answer. Yes, it was.No matter how much he had been through. No matter how close to death he has been lately. It was all forgotten when Yoongi said those words that have been engraved into his memory forever. Love, was a interesting thing indeed.Finally realizing that the feeling that he was feeling towards him was love, made so much sense to Jin.He hadn't felt this way in so long, after losing his family. He finally felt love again, and his life was filled with meaning all over again.All thanks to Yoongi.The love that they felt towards each other was complicated, and the relationship that they had was even more complicated.Jin would never get to know what "they" would end up being. But that was alright now. Jin didn't need to know where they would end up. Perhaps it was even better if he didn't think about it too much, as you never knew what could happen tomorrow.Jin has learned that the hard way. There was no use of thinking about his future and planning it out, because things usually never happened the way he had planned before. He is living a dangerous life on the edge, and anything could happen at any given moment. So he has learned to just live in the moment.Living in the moment for him meant that he no longer had to worry about his and Yoongi's future. He would only care about today, and what it would bring to them.Though every now and then he would be alone and laying in his bed and night waiting for sleep to come, he would be thinking about himself and what he saw for himself in the near future. He couldn't really say what he saw, as it was all so blurry and unknown. Before, that would have scared him. But now, he doesn't care. Because Jin is focused on his current life with Yoongi.They were together now, and that was all that mattered. * 'I don't trust it.' Namjoon murmured as he watched Jimin hop onto the back of his horse, making it seem very easy.'Oh come on. You have done harder things, i bet.' Jimin murmured, adjusting the way he was seated on the saddle as his white horse waited nicely.Namjoon eyed the brown horse right next to him, crossing his arms.Riding his cane was easy for Namjoon, as he had done it for so many years ever since he was a child. But he had never rode a horse before, which was unheard of when Jimin found this out.Namjoon could easily just say no, and continue using his cane as a way of transportation like he had been doing up until this day, but Jimin didn't think that was the right way. Instead, he would like to make fun of Namjoon while teaching him how to ride a horse. That was way funnier.It was also refreshing seeing the seemingly cold and serious witch break his character and show actual emotions for once. Namjoon was unsure, but didn't want to be embarrassed.So instead of leaving, he decided to show Jimin that he too could do something as simple as riding a horse. How hard could it really be?Jimin tried not to laugh when he saw Namjoon struggling as he tried to get up onto the saddle. Instead of being annoying, he hid his laughter and waited for the other to get up. It took a moment but Namjoon finally managed to get up fully and sit nicely on the saddle. He let out a sigh underneath his breath, avoiding Jimin's eyes as he was slightly embarrassed.'Good job.' Jimin said, trying to sound the least sarcastic that he could. Namjoon however saw through his facade. 'Just tell me what to do next.' He huffed, perhaps slightly embarrassed.Jimin smiled, tapping his feet carefully against the horses side, ordering it to move. 'Let's go on a run.' He said, watching as Namjoon looked at him with a worried expression. 'Or a walk, you know. Whatever feels better for you.' He then added with a smirk.Namjoon snorted with a laugh, also ordering his horse to move. 'A run sounds great.' He said, moving past Jimin.Jimin moved behind him, laughing silently because of how brittle Namjoon's ego was hurt.He let it slide for now, and decided not to bully him about it anymore. Instead, he picked up speed and went running past Namjoon.Not wanting to be left in second place, Namjoon too soon managed to pick up speed and his horse was soon running right behind Jimin.Surprisingly, Namjoon was better at horse riding than Jimin could have expected. He was expecting the other to be somewhat afraid and hesitant when it came to running with the horse, but he was proven very wrong. Namjoon was racing right behind him and Jimin really had to work in order to stay in the lead.The weather was perfect for horse riding. The road leading around the castle was familiar to Jimin, so he had the advantage when it came to leading as he could decide where to go and turn. As a slightly mean choice, he took a sharp turn and continued their way along a more unfamiliar trail that was more difficult to maneuver through.But it didn't seem to be much of a challenge to Namjoon, like he would have expected. Jimin had to admit that he had underestimated Namjoon.Soon the trail came to an end and connected back to the familiar road that would lead them back to the stables.Their hearts still pounding with excitement and adrenaline, Jimin laughed as he hopped off of his horse. He stumbled a bit when his feet hit the ground, but that just made him laugh louder.Namjoon looked at him like he had lost his mind, but he too broke into a smile as he found the image of the Prince laughing like a mad man amusing.'That was amazing!' Jimin said between laughs.Namjoon shook his head in amusement, hopping down to the ground and swiping his shoulders clean from whatever fell on him while riding in the woods.Jimin sighed with a smile. 'You know, i asked you to join me only because i thought it would be funny to see you struggle, but i actually enjoyed myself more like this.' He said jokingly. 'I actually cannot remember when was the last time that i got to enjoy myself like this.' He then added.Namjoon stayed quiet, looking at him carefully.Jimin became more serious, but still smiled gently. 'Thank you, Namjoon.''For what?' Namjoon then asked. Jimin smiled widely, looking at Namjoon with a sweet expression. Namjoon felt his heart going heavy. 'For everything.' * 'He was killed?' Jungkook asked, watching Taehyung pace back and forth nervously. He attempted to calm him down before, but it didn't really work as he was so stressed at the moment.He was called into Yoongi's office with Taehyung, as there was new information that needed to be shared among them all. Jungkook hadn't had a chance to speak with Taehyung in a few days, as they both had been very busy, so when he heard that Taehyung had some important information that needed to be shared from his trip to the town- he was slightly nervous.'Yes.' Taehyung sighed. Jungkook nodded his head. He had heard of the situation in the pub yesterday, and the information that they had collected from there. Jungkook also understood how important the pub owner was in this case, and losing him meant harm to them all.But Jungkook knew that wasn't what was bothering Taehyung the most. But the fact that he was unable to protect the man, like he had promised.Yoongi hummed, leaning back in his chair. His crown decorating the table, as he didn't like to wear it on his head unless it was absolutely necessary. 'It is a shame that we didn't get the protection that he needed to him in time.' He murmured.'It's all my fault.' Taehyung sighed.Jungkook got up from his seat, placing a hand on Taehyung's shoulder. 'It's no one else's fault, but the killers.' He told his lover.'Jungkook is right.' Yoongi spoke. 'This situation was truly unexpected, and no one is fully responsible alone. We all failed to work quicker, and it ended in the loss of a life and in the loss of an important clue in this case.'Taehyung stayed quiet. Both Yoongi and Jungkook knew what type of a person he was. He was blaming himself and beating himself up because of this mistake, even though it truly was not fully his fault.'We need to make sure that the deceased mans family is safe. That is our number one priority at the moment.' Yoongi then said.'That is already taken care of.' Taehyung murmured quietly. 'The news of their family members death has also been informed to them by now.'Jungkook nodded his head. 'That is all we can do for them in the time being. Now, we must fully focus on finding the secret group and the ones who caused his death. If we do not, Yoongi will be in danger and all of us.' Jungkook said, reminding Taehyung about what is most important right now.'You are right.' Taehyung sighed, looking at Jungkook. 'There is no use for me to keep thinking about what i could have done to change things. We have to focus on whats important.'Yoongi crossed his arms, lifting his legs up and falling deep into thought.'If there really is a group of Solarians who are secretly discussing an attack towards the castle at the moment, we need to be fast at finding them and bringing them down before it is too late.'Jungkook nodded his head. 'The castle is still under construction and many of our guards are still healing from their wounds. I am assuming that the enemy is planning on attacking us as soon as possible when we are still weak.'Taehyung sighed. 'The estimated number of people in the group is around one hundred. That is not an alarming number, but i am assuming that they are getting more and more people into their group every single day due to the current situation.'Yoongi rubbed his chin. 'That number can change into two hundred in a matter of days, since the people of Solaria are still very against everything that i have brought in during my short time of being King.'Jungkook stared at his cousin with sadness in his eyes. 'Though we just survived a battle, it looks like we must get ready for another one.' * Another emergency meeting was held the same evening. They needed to come up with a plan, that would secure the safety of the castle as well as the innocent people involved in the town.Yoongi sent out a call, asking all of his advisers to come and join him. He was alone in the meeting room, watching outside through the window and down at the small lights that could be seen in the far. The towns people were still awake and well, spending their evenings together. Yoongi couldn't help but think, how some of those people were planning his own murder this very second. He turned, as he heard the door to the room open.A guard opened the door from the outside, letting in Jin.Yoongi smiled as he walked up to the fairy. 'I have to apologize, for having to cancel our plans for the evening, because of this meeting.' He spoke, gently taking a hold of Jin's hand as soon as the door behind him was closed.He immediately remembered, that there really was no use in him trying to hide his feelings towards the other, as everyone in the castle and his kingdom already knew of the rumors.Jin shook his head with a laugh. 'Why would you apologize for something that was not your fault?' His thumb moved over Yoongi's wrist carefully. 'We have to remember to put things in the right order. Dinner can wait.' He smiled.Yoongi didn't understand how Jin managed to keep on trusting him and waiting for him. Yoongi feels more than apologetic because he never has the time to spend time with Jin. But the other understands that well, and knows why.Yoongi got lucky.'I will make it up to you, once this is all solved.' Yoongi then promised. Yoongi could have sworn he saw a flash of sadness in Jin's eyes after what he said. But it disappeared, as Jin smiled sweetly instead and nodded his head.Holding onto his hands a moment longer, Yoongi decided to listen to his gut feeling, and close the distance between them.He could never get used to the feeling of Jin's lips. How soft they were, and now he wanted to keep moving his own against his. Never wanting to stop.Jin didn't shy away from his touch anymore, like he used to. Then, he was unsure of the relationship that they had and the feelings that they shared. Perhaps some things will never get any clearer, but one thing is for sure now. Jin trusted Yoongi, with his whole heart.It was sweet, but short. Jin's skin felt like velvet underneath Yoongi's fingertips. His cheeks were stained with a slight blush, that Yoongi shared as well.Pulling away, but still holding onto his hand. Yoongi smiled widely.In the moment, he was happy. That was all that mattered for now.He would remember this happiness in the days to come, when he would be busy once again. Until he could be by Jin's side again.Now, just like Jin reminded him. They needed to put things in the right order of importance. The meeting would start as soon as everyone was there.Once again, Yoongi was reminded about the importance of his spot. As a King. * Namjoon felt out of place, sitting in front of the table filled with important people that he didn't really feel like he fit between.He was still very new to this whole adviser thing, and didn't know what to feel about it. In a way it was now his job, that he had never had before. His previous job had been to make sure he stayed alive.Now the expectations were much higher. And he honestly felt like an idiot.'Here are the files that you asked me to fill about the pub.' Taehyung began, by sliding a thick stack of papers across the round table, to Yoongi's side. Jimin grabbed them, scanning them quickly.Namjoon hadn't seen this side of Jimin yet. Him being professional and not his usual self that Namjoon was so used to seeing. It was odd, and Namjoon didn't know what he thought about it.'I took every witnesses interview done by my guards and put them together. They will give us some good information about the cause of the murder and who might be behind it. As well as the secret group.' Taehyung explained.Jungkook then cleared his throat, writing something down on a paper that he had brought with him. 'This is the report of the examination that i performed on the deceased pub owner. The cause of death was the gunshot wound to his head. But there were other clues leading up to his death, such as strangling and beating due to his bruises.' He murmured.Jimin let out a sigh, shaking his head. 'What a way to go.' He whispered.Yoongi hummed underneath his breath, taking the paper that Jungkook brought him.'It is clear, that the man was killed because many people noticed that he was visited by the Royal guard.' Taehyung began speaking. 'Rumors of us being there must have spread quickly, and soon the secret group caught the word. They needed to get rid of him as soon as possible, to avoid them being found and stopped before they could attack the castle.' 'He was strangled.' Jimin spoke, leaning back in his chair with a serious expression. 'That means that the murderer had to get in the backroom very quietly and right next to him without him noticing.''But the pub was filled with people that evening. The witnesses said that they didn't see anyone follow him into the backroom.' Taehyung pondered. 'Perhaps the murderer was there, waiting for him before he even entered the back room.' Jin managed to murmur out, seeming quite unsure of the situation because he hadn't been informed about this case too much before.Jungkook nodded his head quietly. He tilted his head slowly. 'The first time anyone in the pub realized something was wrong, was when they heard the scream much later. And right after that came the gun shot. But the scream came much later after he had entered the back room.'Yoongi leaned against the table, deep in thought. 'So, you are thinking that the pub owner must have been speaking with his killer before the fight began?''But who would do that? Wouldn't have the man realized that he was in danger before his death?' Jimin asked.There was silence, as everyone thought about an explanation. The room lit with candles fell into silence that was hard for the ears.Namjoon leaned forward slightly, the flames flickering on every candle moving like there had been a gust of wind. Everyone stared at his dark purple eyes.'Perhaps, the man personally knew and trusted his killer enough to let him near him. That ended up in him being strangled by the person who he knew before his death.'Namjoon was very right. There was no other explanation that made as much sense. The man must have known his murderer, to let him so close. Perhaps they were even so close, that this person had the keys to the pub and the back room. Hence why they were there waiting for the pub owner.'I will contact the pub owners family as soon as possible.' Taehyung then said, when all of them agreed with Namjoon's theory without even having to say anything.'Namjoon and Jin.' Jungkook said right after his lover was done speaking. 'I ask you to see the victims body, to see if you can identify anything from the bruises and clues that are invisible to the human eye.' Both creatures agreed immediately.Yoongi nodded his head, sighing. 'That is one thing done. I appreciate all of your help and advice. But we are not yet done.'Everyone knew what the next thing was going to be, as it was the most important thing in all of their minds at the moment. The secret group.'We need to find their location, and put an end to their plans before they are even able to go through with them.' Yoongi spoke. 'I need all your help, to come up with the best plan for all us, and my people.'None of them had ever seen Yoongi so serious and King-like. But it was nice to see it. They all needed to take this very seriously. Their lives depended on this.Being the first one to speak, Jin looked determined as he spoke out his own plan.'I can help with spotting their secret hiding place, by using my vision through the trees. Just like i found Jimin. I am able to see a huge mass of people, if they were to be gathered at one specific place. I could then estimate the amount that we are dealing with.''Amazing!' Jimin said out loud, still very fascinated with the fairy's powers.'I can search the towns area from above during the night on my cane. Jin and I will take care of finding out the location. This way you only have to think about the amount of guards you need to prepare for battle.' Namjoon added.Taehyung nodded his head gratefully. He no longer needed to to all by himself, which already lifted a huge weight off of his shoulders.'You and Jungkook will take care of the guards from now on.' Yoongi said, pointing at Taehyung. 'Jimin will take care of making sure the dead mans family and close friends get searched. We still need all the clues that we can get.' 'Namjoon and Jin will help with the body at first, and then we will start searching the area. After our guards are ready, and the people of Solaria are safe- we will proceed to attack and put a stop to the secret group. Even if we have to use ways that not everyone would agree with.' Yoongi spoke, last sentence coming out as a whisper.Not everyone would agree with using raw power and murderous ways to protect the land. But there was no time to discuss it anymore. They had to do what needed to be done, and they had to work fast.Because soon, there would be no Solaria left to protect. * The wind was cold tonight, and took no mercy as it blew against Hoseok's dark fur. The moon and stars were the only thing lighting the night sky and his way as Hoseok walked through the woods with heavy paws.He hadn't stopped moving for hours now. He needed water and something to hunt before he would lose all energy.But nothing had come his way, as he couldn't even smell any creature that would have passed along his route. It was quiet, and Hoseok didn't like that.It was almost as if this side of the forest was, dead.Getting the chills, Hoseok moved his paws faster. He felt unsafe here and wanted to find a better place to spend the night at.He even thought about turning around, and going back to his previous spot where he spent the previous night, but that would be suicide. Hunters were everywhere. They must have caught his scent with their lousy hunting dogs a long time ago and were following him each day.You would think that Hoseok would feel safer inside the castle, but you would be wrong.The rut, was making him a monster. There was no controlling of his emotions now.The lust, the hunger and the want. They were all too much to handle, and Hoseok couldn't really bring himself to understand it all and control himself at all. That is why he let his wolf inside him take full control for now.Like a robot, he moved forward with heavy steps.He didn't know how long it took, but he finally caught a scent of something since what seemed like days. Thought he had fed himself just this morning. It didn't matter though, as his hunger had no end when in rut.Running now, Hoseok had a good idea what his catch was. A good sized wild boar. He could already taste it, and feel it in his claws.Hoseok ran faster, blinded by his hunger and need to feed. He ran, and he ran.Jumping over rocks and small rivers, following the scent like his life depended on it.It all came to a sudden end.Before Hoseok knew it, he was in the air and unable to move.Adrenaline slowing down, he blinked his eyes a few times, seeing everything upside down.Hoseok was currently inside a tightly woven net, hanging high up in the air.Before he could even react, he felt a sharp pain in his back and let out a growl with teeth showing. He snapped his head back, looking down at the ground.Hoseok growled loudly, looking at the human who stood there with it's gun. What Hoseok didn't realize right then, was that he had already been hit with a drugged dart. He realized this a moment later, when his vision began to turn blurry.Not wanting to give up, he kept on moving and growling. Not wanting to show any sign of giving up to the hunter. But this didn't help, as he was soon given another dark. This time the drugged thing hit him right in the neck. And the drug was able to enter his system way easier.Hoseok remembers, the calmness of being put under. He didn't feel his rut anymore, or feel any worry. Almost like falling into a deep sleep, Hoseok closed his eyes. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- 'Are you feeling alright, my Lord?'Jin's frame shook slightly as he heard the maid call him. He had been so deep in thought, that he hadn't managed to snap out of it on his own. He nodded his head with a nervous smile.'Yes, thank you.' He murmured, moving his other book from the table so that the maid could leave the breakfast made for him there.Jin still hadn't gotten used to the royal treatment. This all felt odd and unfamiliar. Everyone now called him their Lord, after he was named a royal adviser. That was a huge change, as he was called a monster before.But Jin didn't feel a huge change, because only the name that he was called had changed. The looks that everyone gave him were still the same. That hadn't changed, and it probably never would. But that didn't bother Jin anymore. He was done trying to make humans like him.He needed to focus on what was important, and who were important to him.His studies with the human language were going well. He had made great progress and could now read very slowly and write a few words thanks to his memory only. This was good, and he would only get better each time he picked up his books.The maid left his side, and Jin could read in peace again. But he no longer felt in the mood to do so, as his mind was deep with other thoughts. The same things that he was thinking about right before he was interrupted.The truth was, he wasn't feeling quite alright.Mentally he was fine, and better than ever. He felt truly happy and in peace with everything that he had been put through leading up to this moment. But physically at the moment, he felt odd.He felt feverish during the last few nights, thought he was fine during the morning. His appetite was all over the place, and he felt exhausted most of the time. The symptoms indicated that he was getting sick, but Jin didn't think that was it. He believed that the explanation was something much more simple, but yet complicated. His heat was coming.Jin knew his own body well, though it was very complicated and different from the rest. At the end of the day it was his own body and he knew it the best.He also knew the feeling of heat from previous experience, so he knew what to expect. It was just a natural "transformation" that he went through each year and it was normal to himself and his own kind.But he wasn't with his own kind anymore.Like Hoseok, Jin too feels unsure if he can stay and have his heat here. He doesn't feel in danger, but he knows that the castle is not the mot protected place at the moment. But did he really have any other place to go to? No. He didn't.He could do the same as Hoseok and choose to leave the castle. But Hoseok was stronger and had more reason to leave, as he could be a danger to others. Jin on the other hand was more likely to be in danger.If he were to leave, he would be hunted. He would be in danger at all times, and unable to take care of himself fully because of his delirious state. It was a risk too big to take. But yet, he was scared to stay.Jin sighed, giving up and placing his book down. He stared at the plate full of food in front of him. It no longer looked appetizing, as a nervous feeling had taken place in Jin's stomach. He needed to speak to someone.Not just someone, but him. But Jin was afraid.He was very traditional, when it came to these things. Though Yoongi was no fairy like him, Jin would feel awfully nervous to talk about such a topic as his own heat with him. He didn't want to bring himself to talk about it. He would like to just ignore it, but he knew he couldn't forever. He couldn't just ignore his own body.But for now he could, and would.Jin chugged down the water that was placed for him on the table and got up from his seat, leaving his room with the door closing louder than usual. * Namjoon stared at the body covered with a white cloth. The nurses in the corner of the room where whispering about something, but stopped as soon as Namjoon moved a muscle.He ignored them, and moved forward to slowly remove the cloth from the body.The sight of a dead man must have been too much for the humans, as they soon left. Namjoon however, wasn't too shaken by the sight of the dead pub owner. Perhaps, that told something about him.The stench that left the corpse was quite powerful. No wonder, as it had already been over twenty four hours since the man was found. Though they were in the basement of the large castle, it was still too warm to keep the body from decomposing. The progress had already started, and soon the body would have to be buried. But before that, Namjoon and Jin needed to collect the possible evidence that only they could see. The bullet hole was very visible, and so were the bruises around his neck.Namjoon tilted his head as he studied the wound on his temple. There was some type of commotion going on behind the door leading into the study room, and Namjoon could hear it well due to his good hearing. He could hear Jungkook and Jin even before they were near the door.When the door opened, Jungkook immediately took a hold of his nose as the stench was quite strong to him. He coughed, waving his hand in front of his face.'They need to be buried very soon.' He spoke, gagging slightly.Namjoon said nothing and continued to study the body. Jin joined his side, slowly walking next to him. Namjoon heard something, lifting his gaze from the body to look at Jin. Jungkook also had his eyes on the fairy.Jin had his eyes closed, hand on his chest as he whispered something that neither of the two could understand. Almost like a prayer. Soon it was over, and Jin opened his eyes again.'Mother Earth will soon take care of him again.' He said, looking at Namjoon. 'But now, we need to help bring him peace.'Namjoon stayed still for a moment, then nodding his head.He began thinking. Jin, who had been through quite a lot. Perhaps even more than he had. Jin still shared some kind of remorse towards the dead and cared for them in some way. Namjoon, didn't.Maybe he could blame it on the culture. Jin came from a background that was known to sorrow for their lost ones, and hold their memory deep in their thoughts. Namjoon didn't learn about such a thing when growing up, as the witches didn't mourn their dead. No one was truly dead, in their culture. The witches would continue speaking with the dead, even long after they were gone. It was normal to pray to their ancestors and ask for their help. Namjoon only ever grieved for his own parents. But since then, he hasn't found the need to mourn for anyone else. That disturbs him at times, when you realize just how much death he has seen.They all form into one, so it becomes easier to cope.Jin didn't seem to be too shaken by the corpse either, as he calmly placed his hand against the bruised skin on his neck. He frowned, turning to Jungkook.'He was very close to dying, before he was shot.' He spoke. 'I can tell that he was almost choked to death, but instead he got shot.' Jungkook folded his arms, deep in thought. 'This was a personal case. Whoever attacked him couldn't proceed to kill him such way, so they finished the job with the gun.''That alerted the other humans. But if they had done the crime by choking him, they wouldn't have probably realized the crime until later. Giving the murderer more time to flee the scene. But they didn't do that.' Namjoon murmured.'They couldn't finish the job by choking him.' Jin spoke. 'It felt too cruel and inhuman. They became scared, and decided to end it all quickly.'Jungkook sighed. 'This keeps getting more complicated by the hour.'Jin frowned, looking at the dead man.His fate was a mystery for now, but they all hoped that they could bring peace to his case and bring this all to an end. If only they could find out who the killer was.As if Namjoon had read his thoughts exactly, he grabbed onto Jin's hand with a look of excitement. As if he had an eureka moment.'Jin.' Namjoon spoke. 'Your powers! You are able to look through the living. Like the trees around us, you can see through humans. Perhaps even the dead.' Both Jungkook and Namjoon looked at him with anticipation. Jin however looked unsure.'I am not sure, if i can do that.' He said. 'My powers can only do so much, and seeing through the dead is not something i have heard of before. Perhaps because of a reason. It seems, wrong.'Jungkook wanted to stay quiet, as he didn't know anything when it came to Jin's powers and what he could do with them, but they were running out of time.'Could you try it?' He then asked, as Namjoon wasn't saying anything either. 'Perhaps trying it wouldn't do much harm. And we would be able to get the information that we need much quicker.'Still, seeming unsure. Jin looked back at the dead man, who was lying down as if he was sleeping. But he wasn't.The pale skin, covered in blueish veins and dark bruises was a sight. And not a pretty one.Jin had seen enough death during his life already. This didn't shake him too much, but he still felt uneasy as he stood next to the corpse.Using his magic on the dead man, felt wrong. But Jin knew what he needed to do.This wasn't about him, and what he would have wanted to do in such a situation. He had to look at the big picture, the ones who were affected by this the most.Solaria was in danger. Yoongi, was in danger.Jin would do whatever it took, to make sure he was safe.He nodded his head. 'I'll try it.' He said.Namjoon moved, making space for Jin next to the man's body. He placed a hand on Jin's shoulder.'Don't go too far.' He then said. 'We only need to see what he saw, moments before his death.' The witch reminded him.Those words sunk deep into Jin's mind, and the meaning behind them.He nodded his head, crouching down next to the bed. Jin took a deep breath, reaching and taking a hold of the cold and stiff hand of the dead man. His skin felt tough and cold, not like skin was supposed to feel like. The feel of it was unsettling, but Jin didn't let that bother him too much. He held onto the hand tightly.Just like when communicating through a tree, Jin began trying to look through the man's memory, like he would if he were alive. Namjoon and Jungkook looked in awe, as his wings began to glow.Jin saw darkness. There were no paths for him to choose, as the veins leading up to the mans memory had been dead for so long. The blood filling up those veins had stopped flowing a long time ago, clogging them.Jin tried harder, concentrating all his magic to try and get somewhere. It just seemed impossible, like it should be. There was no way that he would be able to look through a dead mans memories.Trying it one last time, Jin held onto the mans hand tightly with both hands. Concentrating very hard.There was a flash of light in the darkness.It was so sudden and weak, that Jin began to think that he had just imagined it. But it was indeed there.Following it, Jin found himself in a more lit place, away from the darkness of death.A cry could be heard. A baby's cry.The first memory was unlocked. Birth.Jin couldn't believe it. He was seeing the dead mans life flash through his memories, starting from point zero. He had never even read about this being possible, let alone thought about ever trying it.But now that he had a starting point, he became greedy and wanted to see more. Namjoon's words repeated themselves inside his thoughts; Don't go too far, but he was too curious for his own good.Jin didn't skip anything. Instead, he began following the mans life throughout the years. Millions of memories flashed before him in a matter of seconds. Some memories were stronger than others, and some parts were missing for good. That was how the human mind worked after all. You would only cherish the memories that meant the most to you.Jin saw the man grow from a child into the man that he was. He saw the relationships that he made and the humans that meant the most to him during his life. Everything was going by him fast, but Jin could pick up things here and there that told him that this man had lived a very good life. Good meaning that he lived it to the fullest.Having wasted enough time already, Jin traveled through the memories faster. He needed to get to the very last memory, that the man had before his death. To capture the person behind his death.Getting closer to the end, Jin could feel the uneasy emotions that the man had been feeling during the moments leading up to his death.He was scared, afraid and sad. The wave of emotions hit Jin like a tidal wave with full force, and his heart ached for the man.It was painful to stay any longer. Jin needed to get out of his memories soon. Also, he didn't know if him being here was causing harm to the man's spirit. Perhaps Jin was making him relive through all of these moments again, causing him pain and distress. He didn't want that. He wanted the man to have peace. He had finally reached the moment in his memories, right before he would be in darkness again. Through the dead mans eyes, Jin could see the situation that happened in the back room of the pub.He could feel the strangling hands around his neck, and the feel of panic that began to rise. But Jin was only trying to focus on one thing. The face, that was looking down at him. The face of the killers.Everything was blurry because of the lack of oxygen, and Jin could feel himself get dizzy. But he could finally see the figure of the killer and the face.Like the man being killed, Jin too now felt the horrifying feeling crawl up his spine as he recognized the killer from the man's memories before.It was his own son.With the sudden pain of the gunshot, Jin came back to reality, gasping for air.Jungkook was already holding onto him. He must have been struggling to stay up for quite some time. It was no wonder, as his whole body was shaking slightly.'It was his son.' Jin managed to speak out. 'His own son, killed him. He is a part of the secret group.' Jungkook and Namjoon looked at each other, understanding the situation.Jin felt weak and powerless, he finally let go of the mans hand that he had been holding onto. He felt himself shaking as Jungkook held him from falling down to the floor completely.The amount of power that he spent while trying to get into the mans memory was taking a toll on him. And that wasn't all. Jin felt another wave of fever hit him with it's heat. He felt dizzy.'You need to lie down.' Jungkook murmured as he studied Jin's face. 'You have gone all pale.'Jin attempted to speak out, but his words didn't come out for some reason. Suddenly, it became hard to even keep his eyes open. In a matter of seconds, he was knocked out. Exhausted, he let himself be taken by the darkness. * Yoongi sighed, looking down at his shoes as he was sat on that small chair. He was deep in thought and worried, but he didn't want to let that show in any way. Just in case the other could sense it somehow.Yoongi looked to his right, seeing Jin sleeping peacefully in his bed, tucked in by the covers.Jungkook's and Jimin's words were still fresh in his mind. 'He over worked himself, probably while already having a slight fever.' Jungkook murmured as he stood in front of Yoongi's desk. Jimin, who had already been in Yoongi's company when Jungkook arrived to tell the news- as he knew he had to tell Yoongi about Jin, because they were so close.'He is resting now, and doesn't show any signs of getting worse. He will be just fine.' He assured Yoongi, who looked quite distressed because of the sudden news. Jin had seemed to be just fine yesterday evening, before the meeting.Yoongi sighed. 'Thank you, Jungkook.' He then said, thanking his cousin.'It is slightly odd.' Jimin then suddenly said. 'Creatures do not usually get sick, unless they are injured. Why would a fairy just get sick?''He really worked himself too much, when trying to use his magic. It worked, but he took himself out while doing so.' Jungkook explained, not really knowing any other explanation for Jin's sudden fever.But Jimin knew more. Much more, as he had studied his species for a while now.He turned to Yoongi. 'I don't think it's just a fever.' He murmured. 'It is spring now. Hoseok already left, because of the mating season. Jin is clearly showing signs of going into heat as well.'Both Yoongi and Jungkook turned quiet, not really knowing what to say.Jimin sighed. 'It is only normal, after all he is a creature.''I know that.' Yoongi then said. 'I just didn't think that... That it would happen so soon.'Jimin nodded his head. 'I know. But it did. Now you have to think about what to do. I know you care about him very much, and that he feels the same about you.''Everyone can see that.' Jungkook whispered, now sitting down as well. 'We are your family after all, so we know you the best.' He smiled.Yoongi stayed a bit more serious, looking down at his hands.'It's all just so complicated.' He finally said.'Love isn't easy.' Jungkook then said, smile never fading. 'I know you love him, and care about him. That is a wonderful thing that you need to cherish and protect.'Jungkook spoke from his heart. Yoongi knew that, because he had gone through the same thoughts when he fell in love with Taehyung. Their relationship was not easy. It was rocky and frowned upon. But that never stopped them from continuing forward together. They were a great example, that you should only listen to your heart.Yoongi wished he too could learn that.Jimin took a hold of his brothers hand. 'Yoongi. You need to stop thinking about what the rest of the world will think. It doesn't matter. We are living in a time, where we might be at war any given moment. We need to learn, and live in the moment. You do not want to regret this someday. Don't lose him.' He spoke, looking at his brother with sad eyes.'You don't have anything to loose.' Jungkook added. 'The whole Kingdom already wants you dead anyways. Why not do as you wish then?'Jungkook made a very good point. He was already hated and hunted. Many wanted him dead and off of the throne. What would it matter, if he were to give in to his "sinful" wants and needs? He wanted to love freely.Jin had been waiting long enough for him already. The fairy to deal with him being secretive about them for too long. Jin had already accepted the fact that he would love Yoongi, no matter what everyone else thought. Yoongi was finally ready to do the same.He nodded his head. 'I'll do whats right, for us.' He was here now, next to him.Jin looked like a doll, sleeping peacefully. He must be very tired, Yoongi thought. He knew how much power and strength it must have taken from Jin when he used his powers. He took it too far, but that was what had to be done so that they were able to gain the information that they needed. And Jin was never someone who would just give up.Yoongi moved in his chair, moving it closer to the bed. Jin didn't even flinch when the legs of the chair squeaked against the floor. Yoongi took a hold of Jin's hand, that could be seen peeking underneath the covers at the edge of the bed.His skin was warm to the touch. His cheeks were tinted with a red blush and Yoongi could see small drops of sweat along his hairline. He could only imagine the state that he must be in right now, if his heat was about to begin.Yoongi remembers the books that he read, that told about fairies and their heats. Most of the stuff that he read were written from the humans perspective, as the writers of those books were mere human scientists who really had no idea what it was like to go through a heat themselves. So Yoongi didn't know either.Was Jin in pain? Did he feel unwell and sick?Yoongi would have loved to know more, so he could help. But he knew very little, as he never had the chance to personally ask Jin about any of this. Also because he was too embarrassed to do so.But he couldn't shy away from this any longer.Right then, Jin began to stir in his slumber.He moved slightly, frowning with his eyes closed. He squeezed onto Yoongi's hand tighter.Looking like he was in pain, Yoongi became worried for him. He began to wonder if he should go and ask for a nurse to come and check on him. Though he didn't know if they could help in any way, as no nurse was trained in the care of creatures.Still, Yoongi felt worried as Jin's expression turned more and more like he was in pain.Getting up from his chair Yoongi turned to the door, but he was stopped.'Please don't leave.' He heard Jin murmur out, still holding onto his hand tightly.Yoongi turned around, seeing Jin look back at him with tired eyes. He sat back down, holding Jin's hand carefully. 'I won't.' He then said. 'I won't leave you.'Jin nodded his head, relieved. 'The nurses can't help.' He then said, as if he had guessed where Yoongi had been trying to go just now. He sighed, a painful expression flashing across his face for a moment. 'Jungkook can't help me either.'Yoongi frowned. 'It is because of your heat, isn't it?'Jin nodded his head. And Yoongi understood.They couldn't help him feel better. Nothing that would work on a human would help his discomfort and pain, so the human nurses and doctors were useless. There really only was one thing that would help with his symptoms of heat.'Please.' Looking at him longingly, Jin whispered out. His eyelashes fluttered as he blinked his eyes, the blush flashed across his cheeks making him look innocent and sweet. Everything that he wasn't right now.Yoongi could usually hold himself back quite well. But how could he, when he saw the one he loved look back at him with such eyes, filled with lust and need. The way he asked for him, begged for him was just too much to handle.Yoongi knew it was the heat making Jin act like this, and that if it weren't for the heat then Jin would be very different and clear minded. Yoongi did not want to take advantage of the situation.Clearing his mind, Yoongi cleared his throat. 'Jin, are you sure you realize what you are doing?' He asked, trying to remain as cold headed as possible. Jin had lost all realization of what he was doing by now, and Yoongi had to try and remain unfazed by what the other was doing to him.Instead of answering immediately, Jin brought Yoongi's hand upwards, to his lips. Jin pressed his velvety lips against Yoongi's palm. He felt shivers go down his spine, as he watched Jin lay small butterfly kisses all over his hand and the back of it. Pressing against his wrist and the veins that were pumping blood into his system at an alarming pace now that his heart was beating fast.'I am sure.' The fairy finally said, breath tickling against Yoongi's skin.Looking back at Yoongi, Jin's eyes flashed with a tint of red. Something that Yoongi had never seen before. It was mesmerizing to look at. Magical, truly.Yoongi was just a regular man underneath the crown and name of a King. He had needs and wants just as anyone else. Like Jin, who had been taken over by almost animal like needs to mate and breed, Yoongi too felt the same. After all, humans too were just animals as well. Who managed to place themselves at the top of the food chain. But still, they were only animals.The feeling of lust and heat growing in the pit of his stomach was making Yoongi dizzy. Seeing Jin in the situation that he was wasn't helping either, as it was only feeding the feeling inside Yoongi. That he wanted to give in and loose all control. Jin moved in his bed, pushing himself up and towards Yoongi. He reached and placed a hand underneath his jaw, slowly guiding him towards himself.Closing his eyes, Yoongi let Jin take him. Kissing him slowly and deeply.Yoongi no longer had to think if this was right or wrong. He had already made his mind a long time ago. Being with Jin, could never be wrong. This felt so right to him.This wasn't something that they would regret. They both already knew that they wanted this, and were ready for it.Forgetting all shyness that might have been there and every hint of feeling unsure, they were ready.Lips against each others, moving in beautiful symphony, they discovered themselves all over again. * Hoseok was woken up, due to the loud bang that was right next to his ear. It startled him, and he opened his eyes quickly and attempted to jump away from the sound. But that became impossible, as he really saw what was around himself as soon as his vision cleared.He was trapped.Hoseok looked in a daze around himself, seeing all sides of the cage that he had been put into. Surprisingly, he was in his human form. His ankles and wrists had been tied with a thick rope. He had been captured.The cause of the sound had been a hunter who had hit the side of his cage with his gun, as he strolled past him. Hoseok's blurry vision began to clear up, and as it did he was able to see much better. In horror, he looked around himself and the place that he was in.To his left, the cages kept on going. Most of them were empty but the ones of his other side were almost all filled. With different creatures.Hoseok didn't know what to do.The tranquilizer was still in his system. He couldn't really stay up, as everything around him kept spinning and turning. He felt very sick and wished to throw up whatever was upsetting his stomach.That feeling however woke him up, as he realized one thing. He was no longer in rut.That was very odd, as his rut should have lasted a few more days if he was correct. Hoseok also knew that he hadn't been asleep for so long, as he would then be very hungry and thirsty. But he wasn't, which made him believe that his rut was stopped by some other drug that must have been put into his system without him wanting it. Wolves were very dangerous when in heat, so it only made sense that the hunters had to get rid of his ruts symptoms before they could capture him. Otherwise they would all be dead by now. What they used to get rid of his rut, he didn't know.The witches inside the huge building were all screaming and crying, attempting to use their spells but not working. They to must have been given something that got rid of their powers for a while.Hoseok's mind began to run wild. Why was he here? What even was "here"? Had he been taken someplace far and away from Solaria?He couldn't tell. He had no idea where he was at the moment, and that was nerve wrecking. In the midst of all the noise and screaming, Hoseok felt himself get very tired again, like the drug in his system began to suddenly fight back. He laid down onto the floor of the cold cage and rest his head down. Closing his eyes, Hoseok listened.He could hear his own heartbeat beating slowly, his own raspy breathing too. Due to all of the background noise, it was hard to hear anything else. But when he concentrated hard enough, Hoseok could hear the faint sound of waves hitting something somewhere, before he was taken back into slumber.The sea, hitting against the pier. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Yoongi's touch against his sensitive skin was making him shiver with anticipation. The feeling of his lips against his own was something that Jin couldn't describe. He was being put under some spell by Yoongi's velvety lips.His body was going into overdrive. His skin was so sensitive, that it hurt him whenever Yoongi would push into him a bit too rough. But Jin didn't care about that now, as he finally had Yoongi where he needed him to be. Right here next to him.Jin wanted to keep a clear mind, he really did. But it was hard when his body temperature just kept on rising and rising due to his heat, making him feel dizzy and not himself. His animal like instincts were kicking in, making him loose all control over himself.Jin was moaning, whining underneath Yoongi. The sounds that he was making were sinful, but magic to Yoongi's ears.'Jin.' Yoongi groaned out, pulling away from their heated kiss. 'Look at me.' He said.Jin opened his eyes, to look up at Yoongi who was holding himself on top of him. Yoongi looked back, at Jin's red-ish eyes with fascination. In heat, he wasn't so much like himself anymore. Yoongi didn't want to take advantage of him and the situation.'I need to know, that you are sure about this.' He then said, ignoring the way that Jin whined out as he wouldn't let him move underneath him, as he attempted to shut Yoongi up with another kiss.Giving up, Jin laid back down completely, while shaking his head. He needed to clear it, from all of these thoughts that he was having that were making him act so desperate.He kept his eyes closed, fists grabbing onto the sheets underneath him as he focused on himself.Yoongi waited for his answer, seeing that Jin was really struggling at the moment to bring himself back from the heat.Having felt like he had calmed down slightly, Jin opened his eyes to look back at Yoongi. They were no longer red, and Yoongi could recognize Jin for who he truly was.Jin moved his arm, lifting his hand up and slowly touching Yoongi's cheek. And Yoongi let him do that.Jin then smiled, his thumb going over Yoongi's lips. 'I love you, Yoongi.'Breath hitching, Yoongi was speechless for a moment. The way Jin was looking at him, with such a loving and caring look, was something Yoongi hadn't experienced in a long time. Tears at the corners of his eyes, Jin let out a small laugh. 'I really do. More than anyone else.'Yoongi moved his hand, swiping away the tears carefully. Jin held onto his hand, nuzzling closer to it and leaving his lips against his wrist. Yoongi then used that hand to move Jin's face to look at him again.'You mean the world to me.' He said, voice raspy and eyes looking redder. 'I love you more than anything. And i don't know what i would do without you here with me.''I am not going anywhere.' Jin reminded him, swallowing deeply. 'I am not ever leaving you.'That was all Yoongi had to hear. It was all he needed.He loved Jin, so much he sometimes wondered if he had gone mad. But that was just what being in love did to you.Yoongi felt selfish at times, for being in love with Jin. Because he knew, that this would cause Jin to be in danger. Had he just ignored his own feelings from the start and given the fairy the cold treatment, then Jin would have probably never developed feelings towards him. He would be much safer that way. But they were both goddamn idiots in love, already in too deep to turn back now.But Yoongi would never want to turn Jin away.Gently lowering himself to capture Jin's lips again, Yoongi ran his hands all over the fairy's clothed body. It was something from his dreams, and to finally make them a reality was just out of this world. He felt like a sinner, but Yoongi had never been a man of faith. He came into the conclusion, that this was not sinful. It felt so right.Reaching between them, Jin began to unravel his decorative robe open. Straddling Jin's thighs, Yoongi moved back so Jin could get the robe off of himself fully. Yoongi looked in awe, as he saw the colorful satin robe fall down his wide shoulders and revealing glowing skin.A faint blush spread against Jin's cheeks as his gorgeous golden wings fluttered slightly. Revealing himself like this in front of someone was a first, well in a situation like this at least.Jin still remembers the awkward looks that he received from the nurse that had to take care of him after he was injured. Humans didn't always know how to hide their first reaction. But Yoongi was different. Jin didn't feel scared to show himself in front of him like this. He felt proud and honored, that he was even here with him.And Yoongi wasn't scared of him, or weirded out. He loved him. Everything about him.Carefully daring, Jin moved his hands across Yoongi's shirt, hovering over the buttons. Suddenly Jin realized how intimate the situation was. His head was clearer than ever after his heat had began. He only felt slightly as if he had been intoxicated.Sitting across Yoongi in the poorly lit room, removing pieces of clothes one by one with shaky hands. They were like a couple of teenagers, who had just fallen in love and promised them to each other. The truth wasn't too far off.Unbuttoning his shirt slowly, Yoongi studied Jin's face while the other concentrated to get the shirt off of him.Jin had beautiful tan skin, that glistened due to the sweat that he was producing because of his heat. He had small scratches and scars here and there, from all of the previous fights and battles that he had been in. But because of his culture, Jin had kept his frame hidden well in his traditional robes. Saving himself all for him.Jin's frame was larger than Yoongi's. Yoongi was also shorter than the fairy. But Jin was much more skinny, and bonier. His ribs poked through his skin just ever so slightly and he lacked muscle definition. Reminded by the book that he had once read about fairies, Yoongi could see that Jin showed signs of being a hermaphrodite. His hips were wider, waist small and skin very smooth and almost hairless.He was breathtakingly handsome.Finally getting Yoongi's shirt off of him, Jin tossed the fancy piece of fabric across the bed and to the floor. He then ran his hands against Yoongi's bare skin, causing the skin to gain goosebumps. He studied the smooth skin, fingertips gliding against it. Stopping over his beating heart, Yoongi's breath hitched.Jin smiled. He closed his eyes, leaning forward to press his head against Yoongi's bare chest.He listened, how Yoongi's heart raced quickly. All because of him.Jin pressed one kiss on top of his beating heart, then moving upwards. Yoongi tipped his head to the side, allowing Jin to kiss up along his neck, sucking on his skin just slightly. It was making Yoongi feel shivers go down his spine.Finally reaching his lips again, Jin waited for a moment. Seeing him so close up like this, Yoongi could see how long his eyelashes were and just how beautiful his eyes truly were. He could see that Jin was fighting a battle inside of himself right now. The tint of red had returned, and Yoongi knew how much willpower it took from Jin not to just let himself go because of his heat. Yoongi was struggling as well. He wanted nothing more than to just push Jin back against those soft sheets and take him right then and there.Reaching his hand, Yoongi placed it against Jin's skin. The other was hot to the touch. But his skin felt so smooth and perfect. Yoongi ran his hands all over, feeling his figure while his lips were still against Jin's.Feeling himself being pushed, Jin let Yoongi lay him down against the sheets.Pulling away, Jin's plump lips parted with a breathy gasp. Yoongi's hand stopped moving, hovering over Jin's waist.Staying still, he waited for permission. Jin stayed quiet for a moment, just looking back at Yoongi. Perhaps he was suddenly nervous. To reveal himself fully to someone like this. Yoongi would be lying if he was full of confidence. He too was nervous.But that was only normal.Jin's grip against his arm became more relaxed. He looked more sure, and smiled up at Yoongi.He was sure.Dipping down, Yoongi kissed against his neck. Leaving small pecks all over. Jin let out a whimper, taking a hold of Yoongi's hand and guiding it.Finally, he reached the waistband of his neatly tied pants. Forgetting all nervous thoughts and feelings of being unsure. Yoongi reminded him what they both wanted and were ready for. Neither of them wanted to waste anymore time, and just be together already. Jin's heat was painful for him, and it was painful for Yoongi to see him like this.After all that they had been through, they deserved this. This time together.The reason behind Jin's nervous feelings were the images that had popped into his mind as Yoongi touched his bare skin.The images, of those horrible humans who used fairies as their toys. They used them for pleasure, and tossed them away when they were too weak to continue living. They would unloved, abused and broken. That was everything that Jin learned about humans. That you should never trust them.Yet he was here, in love with one.Jin came to the conclusion that Yoongi was not like the others a long time ago, but his demons still hunted him. But he couldn't let that affect his relationship with Yoongi. He couldn't ignore them either. But he could run away from them for now. For tonight.Trusting Yoongi completely, they both removed the last pieces of clothing covering their bodies from another.Yoongi could say he was a little traditional. He grew up in a very serious environment, where he couldn't even call his parents by 'father and mother' but instead by their royal names. He was taught the important tasks that a prince should know and what a future king should know. He was taught that sexual acts should only be done after marriage. This was quite sinful. But Yoongi had done things during his life that could be thought as sinful.To him, seeing Jin like this couldn't be sinful. Instead, it was the most amazing thing he had ever seen.Jin was just perfect. Yoongi couldn't get over that, and kept telling Jin as he adored his body. The shy fairy had gained confidence and his lust was driving him forward with an unbearable hunger.Letting out sinful sounds, Jin knew exactly what he was doing to Yoongi. He was putting on a show, that was all just for Yoongi to see.His eyes were fully red now, glowing in the dark with the help of his gorgeous golden wings. Yoongi could feel the feeling in his lower stomach grow, feeling Jin's long legs with rough hands.Jin was not shy anymore, fully showing himself in front of his lover. And he was a sight to see.Neither of them had no idea how long it had been, and when things escalated to this point. But neither of them had no intentions of turning back now. That was impossible by now, as both had worked way too hard to get here in the first place.The amount of times Yoongi had imagined of this moment in his mind, never thinking it would become a reality. All the times Jin would punish himself for fantasizing what it would be like, to be here like this. Neither of them had to imagine it any longer. All the pain, loneliness and hurt that they had experienced together was forgotten, just for now as they became one.Tensed muscles, glistening skin and breathy voices.Packed emotions and feelings being let out.Even in his feverish state, Jin was able to experience the pleasure. It couldn't really be described in words, how good it felt when he was here with Yoongi. The feeling was mutual.This was more than just relieving themselves with each others help. This truly was the start of something bigger than either of them could realize in the moment while being blinded by the pleasure.Hands grasping onto each others, the night came to an end. Heartbeats slowing down, and minds clearing from the haze. The realization of what they had finally done was now clear in both of their minds. They didn't regret it one bit.Staying there, in each others arms felt like a dream for both of them. * Playing with Yoongi's fingers, Jin brought each of the long digits to his lips and pressed kisses on the tips of each finger. Yoongi smiled, feeling shivers go along his skin, even though he was being covered by the bed covers.Jin hummed, sinking deeper into the bed and leaning against Yoongi side. The air around the room had turned cooler due to the night that fell on top of the land, but Jin's skin was warm and comforting.Hugging Jin's torso, Yoongi buried his face in the base of his neck. Lips pressed against the soft skin. Both tired, Jin sighed happily as his wings moved with each breath.Yoongi couldn't get over how perfect Jin was. He truly was magical, and looked too perfect to be real. But he was real. Yoongi could touch him, feel his heartbeat and warm skin. He was real, though he looked to be out of this world.When Jin left the bed earlier to clean himself a bit in the bathroom, Yoongi felt his cheeks get hot when he saw the figure of his lover walk around in such a state. It was something Yoongi could have never imagined to be seeing, but here they were.Though the pleasure that he felt when being together with Jin like that was absolutely amazing and something he could not put into words, Yoongi loved this more. Them being together like this. Being able to just hold Jin close to himself like this was all worth it. It was worth everything that they went through. It made Yoongi forget the situation that they were currently in at the moment. He didn't need to remember the secret group and his job as a King, when he was here with the one he loved and cared for.Jin, who looked back at him with such loving eyes.He knew exactly what was going through Jin's mind then. Worry, wonder and anxiety all mixing into one as the thoughts of what would happen to them after this was all over. After they would have to leave the comfort of this bed and dress themselves up again. Yoongi would present himself as the honorable King and Jin would return as the helping adviser. They would face the world that was against them once again. But they both knew, that this time whatever was coming their way would be much more stronger.But they were not weak either. The bond between them had grown so much, that it could not be broke. Jin was now a mated fairy. He would spend the rest of his life by Yoongi's side. There was an invisible bond between them now, that could only be seen by other fairies. Jin could feel it at all times, being pulled towards Yoongi no matter where he was. Yoongi was blind to this feeling of being mated, but his own heart had already made up its mind a while ago. That it would only beat for Jin.It is very cliche. And they both do know it. But they can't help it, as they are foolishly in love. Fear of what future would bring them was bubbling in Jin's stomach. Neither of them knew for sure what would happen. They lived in a time when war crossed their lives so often, that sometimes it was hard to think about anything else. But they had to find the small happy things in life that would keep them going, This moment was one of them.Kissing Jin deeply, Yoongi would remember this moment for the rest of his life.He would hold onto Jin for ever.No matter what would happen. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Hoseok stared at the dirty water inside the bowl with hooded, tired eyes. He could see a faint reflection of himself. He couldn't recognize his human form, as he looked so worn and dirty.He felt shivers go up and down his spine, as the metal cage offered him zero warmth. The cries and screams around him inside the big hall were hurting his ears at one point, but now it had just transformed into background noise. After he had listened to it for so long.Hoseok didn't know how long he had been here. He had no idea how long he had been unconscious for, and when he had been brought here. He didn't even know what 'here' was.The big hall that his and everyone else's cages had been put into, looked like a storage unit.The witches and goblins around him were screaming, cursing and banging against the cage's with all their might. But it was no use. Hoseok reached, and hissed as his bare skin came into contact with the metal of the cage. It burned him. It had been made with some ingredient, that was harmful to creatures. Perhaps the surface of the cage had been lathered with some potion.Hoseok wasn't too sure. He was very confused, because of may things.He still hadn't gotten his rut symptoms back. This meant that he had been given suppressant when he was still unconscious, that completely stopped his rut.The reason behind this was not clear to Hoseok, but he was sure that the humans didn't want to deal with an alpha wolf in rut due to safety reasons. So they decided to weaken his system instead. Which was a smart play in their part. Hoseok however, was now more in danger.He tried not to think about that too much. He had more important things to think about. His escape.Hoseok tried to count the amount of creatures inside the storage building, but he wasn't able to come up with any clear number. The creatures kept coming and going. The most noisy ones and who attempted to attack the guards walking past were moved somewhere. But first they were shot with a tranquilizing dart and then dragged out of their cages like lifeless bodies. Seeing this shook Hoseok to his core. The situation began to seem hopeless.Looking around himself, turning around in the very small cage, Hoseok looked at the cages and who were inside them. He saw a lot of scared and stressed faces. Some where hysterically crying while others looked like they had lost all hope and laid down lifelessly. Hoseok was scared to think about how long they had been here. And how long he would have to be here as well.Looking over to the other side of the hall, to the other row full of filled cages. Hoseok paused and stared at a non moving frame, who's chest rose with very slow breaths. They looked to be very weak and near to death by the looks of it.The lighting in the huge hall was bad. The few lit candles didn't help anyone, as they were left in the dark. But Hoseok was able to recognize some features from the figure. Hoseok realized that this was a very very old woman, most likely a witch.Hoseok's heart ached, seeing her laying down on the cold floor of her cage. He studied her for the rest of the night, seeing if her condition got any worse or better. It surely wouldn't get better in this place.The hours went past slowly. They had no way of telling if it was day or night, as no one had any contact to the outside world. They could only see and hear what was around them. The guards who had been pacing back and forth down the halls soon got company. The main door at the very end opened up and brought light into the dark hall.Hoseok looked curiously as everyone around him began to move and get up from their places, leaning closer to the bars of the cage. As if they were waiting for something.Soon he could hear the sound of some shaky wheels, being pushed towards them through the hall. Hoseok's stomach growled as he could begin to smell something to eat.The food was thrown into their cages, so that the guards didn't need to touch them in any way. A piece of bread and a very small and rotten looking apple was thrown into Hoseok's cage. He grabbed it greedily, feeling ashamed as he was acting like an animal. But he could not help it, as he was driven by his hunger.He sunk his teeth into the piece of breed and chewed on it well. He needed to spend this time eating well, cherishing every moment as he didn't know when he would get to eat again.While eating the bread slowly, Hoseok noticed something. The food cart rolled past him, continuing it's way along the line of cages that his was on. But as it got to the other side, the guard began skipping cages. Not giving them food.Hoseok saw this, and saw the creatures that weren't given food. They were witches, covered in bruises or chained down. Some looked close to death and weren't moving. The old lady being one of them. They were being punished, but why?Hoseok could only come up with one good reason. They had attempted to escape, and were punished.Hoseok knew how witches could be. Just like Namjoon, no witch would ever give up easily. They wouldn't let anyone just take their freedom and get away with it easily. Hoseok knew for a fact that these witches had attempted in using their magic and had been caught doing so. Like the old lady, they were all being punished for their actions.Hoseok held onto the apple given to him tightly.He would begin to play the waiting game. * Hoseok ignored the pain, as his skin pressed up against the surface of the cage. He bit the inside of his cheek, groaning slightly as he reached as far as he could. He would get only one shot in this, and could not fail.Holding onto the apple, reaching as far out off the cage as he can, Hoseok looked over to the cage on the other side and focused.The halls were clear for a moment, as no guards were there. Hoseok had spent a good few hours studying and counting the steps of the walking guards to count how long they would be gone and how long he would have before they returned.Being fearful, Hoseok waited for a while. But he decided not to waste anymore time. They were all running out of it.Hoseok looked at the other side, lifting his arm slowly before throwing the apple over to the other side. Immediately, Hoseok pulled his hand back with a hiss and backed away from the bars. Looking over, Hoseok wasn't able to see well if he had actually made it.The small sound of the apple hitting something was heard however. The creatures inside the cages next to the old lady's moved because of the noise, getting up from their sleep. Hoseok looked nervously, as the creatures searched for the cause of the sound.Hoseok was slowly turning anxious. If he had missed, he had done this all for nothing. And a life could be lost.Still not giving up on hope, Hoseok kept looking. Staring at the weak frame laying down on the floor with caring eyes. Hoseok didn't want to give up on them.The other creatures had lost interest and continued to sleep, while Hoseok couldn't. Instead he began to search around him again. The cages that they were in had been propped up slightly so he could not touch the ground well enough to do something to try and get out. But his fingertips could still touch he ground if he could manage through the pain of touching the bars again. He could do it.Reaching down when there were no guards, Hoseok searched the floor in the darkness. Fighting through the burning pain. Everything that he touched, he took and brought up. He collected small rocks, leaves and everything that he could get. He was this desperate to help.Hoseok didn't care that he could get punished as well. Living like this was already a punishment to him. He would do whatever it took to get out of here. With everyone else with him.Throwing the rocks one by one, Hoseok prayed that he would bother the laying figure enough that he would catch their attention. It seemed hopeless for a long time. Hoseok was loosing his patience and time. He wanted to risk it all, by yelling from the top of his lungs. But he knew that would only cause him more trouble and he couldn't do that now. He needed to keep on trying.He kept chucking the small rocks over to the other side. They made small sounds as they hit the sides of the cage. He was pretty sure he also hit the witch, but there was no reaction.Hoseok's heart dropped, as he began to wonder if they were already gone.Tears swelling up in his eyes, Hoseok bit his bottom lip. He let out a frustrated sound, hitting the floor of his cage with both of his fists. The rush of anger caused a sound, and Hoseok could hear the guards rushing over. He pretended to be asleep quickly, turning around and laying quietly.The guards ran over, guns held up as they studied the creatures. They soon gave up, as no one seemed to be doing anything. The continued their walks and when there was a moment when no guard was looking over their line, Hoseok dared to open his eyes and roll over.Looking at the other side, Hoseok let out a small gasp as he stared at the figure on the other side. No longer looking dead and non responsive, the old witch had also turned around and was looking straight at Hoseok. With a smile.Hoseok watched as she moved her shaky hands, revealing the apple that she had been hiding in her gown. Hoseok felt happiness fill his chest, but also sadness. Hoseok stared back at the eyes looking at him, recognizing someone. Hoseok saw the resemblance in her, though she was older and smiling kindly. Hoseok saw Namjoon in her, who never smiled.Hoseok's heart dropped, when he realized who she truly was. * The nights had became shorter. Or it at least seemed like that, as the sun rose earlier due to summer which was arriving faster than any of them could have expected.Still, the nights seemed long and lonely for some.Jimin leaned against his hands, looking over the land quietly. Climbing up to the highest tower in the castle, Jimin decided that he needed some time for himself this early morning. Looking over Solaria, Jimin felt many emotions.This was the Kingdom he grew up in. The Kingdom which he was supposed to love and care for the rest of his life, as a Prince. Things however always seemed to change towards the odds. Jimin ended up betraying his father and gained the hatred of everyone in the Kingdom. He was not loved as a Prince, but he never felt that feeling towards himself to even begin with.In a way he was glad that he wasn't looked up to and praised as a Prince. Because he never took joy in owning that title and being one. But he never wished that all this had to happen either.Meaning, him and his loved ones being hunted because of the hate that he was receiving. The war that they had to fight and keep on fighting every single day. There didn't seem to be an end.Sometimes, Jimin wishes that he could just escape this all like a coward. He could just decide to leave this and everyone behind himself. He could let Yoongi down, and abandon his only brother. He could choose to live and travel to some further and, where he wouldn't get recognized because of his looks and them getting linked to being Royal.He could leave behind this country full of war, hatred and pain.But he was unable to. The guilt and worry that would torture him for the rest of his life was too much to even begin to think about. If he were to leave his brother and everyone else behind, just to wither away.Jimin didn't know if they could ever get a happy ending. But he couldn't get one if the rest wouldn't get one either. Jimin would suffer like the rest.Deep in thought, Jimin wasn't able to notice the figure who leaned against the side of the towers edge just like him immediately. Only after Namjoon spoke, was Jimin brought back into reality from his dark thoughts.'The Kingdom looks peaceful this morning.' Namjoon murmured.Jimin nodded his head silently. 'You could call it the calm before the storm.' He murmured.Namjoon didn't need to ask what he meant, as he already knew. Jimin did not like war, no one did. But Jimin wished they could have came up with some other plan, that didn't cause anyone any harm. But that was impossible.The guards were preparing to scout the towns, bring down everyone who wished harm to his brother. Jimin didn't want Yoongi to suffer anymore. He wanted them all to be happy and live in peace for once. But that meant people needed to pay for their crimes.Namjoon had already spent a few nights scouting the piers, searching for the possible place that the dead pub owners son worked at. He wasn't sure of the location yet, but he wouldn't stop searching until he found it.'Let's just hope that this storm will be the last one.' Namjoon said, staring at Jimin.Jimin gazed towards him as well, with a look that Namjoon couldn't really read. It was a mix between feeling unsure and anxious. Namjoon felt the same inside, but wouldn't let that show through.'It needs to be.' Jimin then added, hand gracing over his own chest, grabbing onto the pendent danging around his neck. 'We all deserve to be finally free.'Not knowing why, Namjoon found himself asking the Prince something that had been in his mind for some time already.'What will you do once you are free? Where will you go?'Jimin stayed quiet for a while, holding the pendant tightly. He sighed. 'I do not know.' He finally said. 'I want to go home.'Home.That word was familiar to them all, but it meant different things. Some of them didn't have a home ever, and some lost theirs a long time ago. Maybe you lost the people around you that made a place home.Namjoon could understand that.'I do not know where my home is, Namjoon.' Jimin then spoke. 'But i do know it is not here. This castle, this town is not a place that i can call my home. It is filled with so many bad memories that i cannot even remember the good ones.''What about Yoongi? Is he not enough to make you stay?' Namjoon asked.Jimin smiled. 'I love my brother, more than anyone. But no.'Namjoon nodded his head. 'I need to find where i belong.' Jimin murmured, as if he was embarrassed of what he was saying. Sounding like a kid talking about his childhood dreamland. Namjoon didn't make fun of him like he would normally, instead he listened quietly.'I would just, want to put everything behind. Find someplace quiet and calm. Where there is no war, fighting and murder. I want to forget that all for a while. I sound crazy, as there is no place like that in our Kingdom.''This whole Kingdom has been tainted and ruined by years worth of war and horrible leading by my father and grandfather. Yoongi has his work cut out for him. It will not be easy to make things better, but i believe in him.' Jimin added.Looking at the view in front of them, Jimin smiled.'Though i was in unbearable pain, i still remember the time i spent in your home as the most memorable one.' Jimin said with a small laugh. 'There was something so calming about staying in the middle of the woods, no other humans around you.'Namjoon swallowed deeply, remembering the time Jimin came close to dying. When he was bedridden and hot to the touch because of his fever. It hurt Namjoon to think that even though the other was in so much pain and suffering, he was his happiest.Namjoon didn't know what came into his mind, when he opened is mouth while looking at the other.'When this is all over, i will take you back there.' He simply promised.Jimin stayed quiet for a moment, then letting out a small laugh. 'Now why would you ever do that Namjoon.' He murmured. 'Why would a strong witch ever bring a regular human like me into their home like that.'He was true. Namjoon would never do such a thing. He can't still believe he just said that out loud either. But he didn't regret saying it either.'You are not a regular human.' Namjoon then said. Moving from his spot and stepping away from the ledge of the tower.Wanting to speak more, Jimin moved as well, hoping that Namjoon would notice him looking after him but he didn't. So Jimin moved after him, grabbing onto his hand and holding him from leaving.Namjoon paused, stopping his movements and staying still. He could have just pulled his hand away and continued his way out. But he didn't.Jimin didn't know why, but his heart was racing. It felt like his heart was trying to escape his chest, screaming to be let free. Jimin held onto Namjoon's hand tighter.'What...- what did you mean?' Jimin then asked, voice quiet.Namjoon shook his head, attempting to brush off the question and the whole topic. He let his tongue slip and Jimin noticed it. He didn't want to discuss this topic right now. Perhaps never. 'Forget what i said. It didn't mean anything.' Namjoon said, attempting to free his hand. But that just made Jimin hold onto it tighter and move closer to him.'Do not lie to me.' Jimin pleaded, voice sounding surprisingly desperate. Namjoon sighed, slowly removing his hand from Jimin's grip with his other hand. The Prince looked at him with an unknown sad look in his eyes. Namjoon didn't want to do this to him, but he couldn't do anything else for him now. Namjoon wasn't ready.Jimin watched as Namjoon took out his cane and quickly flew off with it. Leaving him alone on the top of the tower.The sun was rising, staining everything with it's beautiful light. Jimin stood still, hand still tingling because of the lack of touch there. He sighed deeply, closing his eyes. * Jin stared at his own figure from the mirror while tying his last layer of robes around his slim waist. Once done, he smoothed down the fabric along his skin, getting rid of any wrinkles. Giving himself one last look, he moved back from the mirror and fluttered his wings slightly to get them moving after his long slumber.His bare feet tapped against the wooden floor when he cleaned his room just slightly, moving the books that he had been reading before falling asleep to their original tidy place. Satisfied with the look of his room, Jin tightened the last decorative belt wrapped around his waist.He enjoyed being able to do things by himself again. He didn't need Yoongi to help him clean himself up and dress himself again because of the heat. He truly felt sorry for letting Yoongi do all that for him, but the other pleaded that he would. Yoongi wanted to take care of him fully.It was amazing when his own mate was taking care of him that way. But still he wished that maybe Yoongi should have even invited a maid to do some of the work so he didn't need to do everything by himself. It felt like forever since he saw anyone else except for Yoongi.He still smiled to himself when thinking about his heat, like an idiot.Spending his heat with Yoongi was amazing. He wasn't in such pain like he was whenever he had a heat and didn't spent it with anyone. His heat also ended much quicker, which was a huge plus.What he did not like was how he managed to hog Yoongi all to himself for most of the time, so Yoongi had a hard time leading the country. But he assured Jin that everything was taken care of, and he wouldn't leave anywhere.Now that his heat was over after a few days, Jin felt out of the loop. He had no idea as an adviser what had happened during the time that he was unable to work. He needed to hear about everything quickly so he was inside the plan.He saw Yoongi last night, after his heat had ended.He assured Yoongi that he was already feeling better and like himself again, but Yoongi wanted to spend the night with him still. Just to make sure he was alright. And Jin did not mind that at all.The last night, compared to the previous nights that were spent together when Jin was in heat, was much more calmer and meaningful. Jin had a clear head and wasn't in pain anymore. He could just enjoy Yoongi's presence and his touch fully.The small whispers of i love you's and tight hugs. The promises of a future together. It all seemed like a dream, except that it truly happened. Jin felt his heart beating faster, feeling foolish for acting such a way. But he could not help it, as he was so in love.Tapping against his heating cheeks slightly, to calm himself down, Jin flew off of his bed and towards the door. Then opening it and walking out. * Walking past the many guards and maids, Jin greeted them all with a bow and a smile. This was usual from him, but what was not usual was that he began getting back the same kind response. This did not happen when Jin first arrived, and it was amazing to see how others had gotten used to him by now.Continuing his way, Jin walked across the wide castle hallways. He looked through the colorful glass windows and at the courtyard. Many were cleaning the yard, moving the horses from the winter stables to the ones for summer. The sun shined brightly, and flickered against Jin's skin. Reflecting many different colors onto his tan skin.Stepping forward, Jin continued to walk, taking the stairs.He was headed towards the huge door leading to the backyard of the castle, when a guard spoke out his name and bowed in front of him. Jin stood still in front of him, giving the guard the permission to speak.'I have been given the task to give you this letter, from the King.' The guard spoke, handing Jin the sealed letter that he dug from his coats pocket. Jin immediately noticed the familiar royal seal that was placed neatly on the letter.He thanked the guard, taking the letter and excusing himself by stepping to the side.Jin didn't know why, but a sudden wave of anxiety hit him as he held the letter in his hands. He wondered what could be written inside the thick paper, and what meaning it held. It could be just about their work, as Jin needed to know what had been happening whilst he was gone from his duty. But at the same time, he feared that this letter had something to do with their private relationship.Not wanting to worry about it any longer, Jin moved to one of the small library rooms scattered around the first floor of the castle. When he was alone, he managed to gather up the courage and open up the letter with his finger.Unfolding the paper inside, Jin squinted his eyes as he began to read the human language, that he was still quite unfamiliar with. But to his surprise, the letter was written in very simple words that he could all understand. Yoongi must have put much thought into the letter, to make it easy for his lover to read.Calling himself as Yoongi's lover, still made Jin blush just slightly. Who else could call themselves the lover of the King? Jin couldn't say it out loud either, as he would be looked down upon if he did. Perhaps the name would stay just between him and Yoongi.Letting out a small laugh and a sigh of relief, Jin took the letter and folded it back up and placed it inside the letter with the seal still attached. He wanted to save this letter for some time, as it now held meaning. It was the first letter Jin ever received from Yoongi, or any human to be completely clear. And it was no regular letter either, but an invitation.Yoongi truly was much more cheesy and sweet than he let himself be viewed as. Who would write a letter just to ask someone to join them for breakfast? Apparently Yoongi would.Forgetting his plans of seeing the first flowers of the spring, Jin walked past the front door of the castle and made his way back up the stairs, to the highest tower. * 'You didn't need to do all this for me.' Jin said in awe as he stared at the table full of food. It was truly filled with every type of food that Jin could even imagine. Most of them were meatless, Yoongi knowing that Jin didn't enjoy eating meat because of the way he grew up. Jin was honestly just grateful that Yoongi remembered something like that.'I had a thought that you might be hungry.' Yoongi smiled, finally walking up to Jin as he had just entered the room. Pulling him closer to himself, Jin let Yoongi kiss him deeply. It was sweet and filled with care. More meaningful when comparing to the kisses Jin shared with him during his heat. Yoongi's soft skin felt like velvet underneath Jin's fingertips, he could remember his scent well by now. He was mated to him after all. Yoongi's scent would be on him forever now.'You still didn't need to bring a whole army's worth of food.' Jin smiled after their lips separated, his wings fluttering ever so slightly.'It is only what you deserve, the best.' Yoongi smirked, pulling out a chair for Jin and himself.Sharing the food and enjoying it with a nice conversation, it truly felt like they were just a regular couple. Both of them almost forgot their own duties and who they truly were. But that was the beautiful thing when they were together. They got to forget their worries and duties just for a while.Yoongi wasn't a King, but a regular guy who was madly in love. He didn't have a crowd of guards waiting outside his door every single second, waiting to come in if something were to happen to him. He didn't have thousands of people outside the castle, all depending on him as a leader.When he was with Jin, Yoongi got to be a regular twenty year old with real feelings. Jin didn't see a King in him, but he saw him just as himself. Yoongi had very little people in his life that made him feel like that, so Jin was very precious to him. In many ways.Jin didn't feel like an outside when he was with Yoongi. He didn't notice the lack of wings or the seemingly extra ones that he had had behind his own back. He wasn't different from Yoongi. They were both equal, though he was a creature and Yoongi a human.Their differences made them beautiful together, complete.Finishing their meals, finding a better place in front of the window and sitting down on a nicely decorated sofa.The conversation between them flowed nicely and naturally, at some point turning about their future. This topic was always scary, but it was no longer uncomfortable to speak about. They both knew everything was unsure and mysterious. They couldn't really plan anything out, realistically at least. They both still had dreams and wanted to voice them out.Jin voiced out his wish of wanting to live with Yoongi for the rest of his life. He didn't want to leave the castle and go search his family. He already made new family here.Yoongi smiled and held onto Jin's hand tightly. He was quiet for a moment, seeming to fall into deep thought. He then lifted his eyes from their connected hands and looked at his lover.'Jin.' He spoke, and Jin nodded his head when he noticed the unsure tone in his voice, cheering him forward. Yoongi let out a small sigh, sitting straighter.Grabbing Jin's other hand as well, Yoongi had a look of determination on his face. He looked confident and Jin liked seeing that. It gave him strength as well.Finally managing to open up his mouth again, Yoongi spoke while looking at Jin dearly.'I want to marry you, Jin.' * Jungkook marched through the busy hallways, passing guards and nurses while carrying a pile of papers. He was busy as ever, when every single guard needed to be helped back into health before the next attack came.Jungkook was the best doctor in land, but even he found this a struggle.Reading patient documents given to him, Jungkook made his way from room to another. Seeing each patient and briefly speaking with them about their current condition and their future recovery.At the end, every patient seemed to just form into one person inside his head. He was feeling the effects of stress hit him already. The nights spent up working instead of sleeping were beginning to hunt him. However he couldn't let that show through.Tanking himself up with coffee and biscuits that he took from the nurse's office table, Jungkook sighed when he finally managed to sit down after walking non stop for a few hours.Instead of reading up on the next few patients he needed to still see in the busy ward, he placed the messy piles of paper down and let out a deep sigh.Rubbing his temples, Jungkook already felt the headache setting in deep behind his skull. Vibrating waves of pain through his whole head and face. He tapped his feet against the floor annoyingly. He let out a small groan, leaning back in his chair. A nurse sitting a cross of him behind her own desk smiled knowingly, feeling bad for him. Jungkook didn't necessarily need the pity, but he appreciated it.If he craved pity from someone, it was only from Taehyung. But he wouldn't be getting any from him.He could not remember the last time he saw his lover. Perhaps it was a week ago by now. The only way he knew he was alright and still breathing, was by asking from other guards around him. He would ask if they had seen their leader and where he was currently. The answer would always be the same; Taehyung was searching for the secret group.Jungkook knew he had a very important task to do, but he would get himself killed if he continued to work like this. Having known Taehyung for so long, he knew he would not give up until he had finished whatever he was dealing with right then. Taehyung would not close his eyes or take a break until he was done. This was something that many people were jealous of in him, because his will was so strong. But Jungkook knew him better than anyone else, and he knew that he was slightly idiotic.Worrying about his lover, Jungkook sunk deeper into the seat and kicked his feet up onto the table. Million thoughts were running in his mind. The stress was building up, and worry was driving him mad. Everyone around him felt the same. How could they not, as they were preparing for war.Looking over to the busy nurses standing in a circle, speaking about their patients and what to do next. Jungkook bit onto his thumbs fingernail, his knee jerking due to a nervous habit. He pushed himself up from the chair and walked over to his coworkers.'Here.' Jungkook said, handing his papers over to the shifts head nurse. 'All the information about the patients are here. I hope you can manage to study their injuries during this evening.' He spoke.'I have a meeting in a moment that i need to be present in.' Jungkook lied, but they couldn't know that. 'I will return before the night shift.' He added before heading out of the healing ward.Feeling guilty for leaving the nurses by themselves, Jungkook walked quickly along the hallways, running when no one was there to see.He didn't know for sure where he was going, but he knew he just had to go somewhere else. He needed to see Taehyung.Running up the stairs leading to the guards ward, Jungkook fixed his white coat collar and nodded his head to the guards who greeted him with a bow.Walking to the end of the hallway, Jungkook paused for a second before knocking on the familiar wooden door.He knocked once, waiting for an answer. But there was none. Looking around himself, Jungkook peeked around the corner and saw that there was no one there anymore. He then reached inside his pocket and pulled out his keys that he carried at all times. He had many keys, as there were many rooms inside the castle. No one else but Taehyung and him held the keys to his office. Opening the door, Jungkook stepped inside and closed the door behind him.The room was dark, and gloomy. The air inside felt heavy, as there hadn't been anyone in there for quite a while from the looks of it. The curtains had been pulled in front of the window and candles hand't been lit in a long time.Jungkook carried a worried look as he began to look through the things on top of the desk. If someone were to find him inside here, looking through the main guards stuff, he would be in trouble. But Jungkook was a master at getting away with many things, as he was the King's cousin after all.Sitting down in Taehyung's chair, Jungkook began to study his surroundings and the stuff on top of the desk.There were empty letters, and papers that had small scribbles written on them, as if he had attempted to write something but started over. Small dots of ink were scattered over the desk. Jungkook shook his head, not enjoying the dirty work place. His own desk was always very neat.Forgetting about the untidiness of the place, Jungkook focused on the more important things.Jungkook looked at the drawers next to him, attached to the desk. He opened them one by one as he searched for something that would catch his eyes. He soon found something, underneath a pile of closed letters.It was another letter, that looked just like the rest. But what caught Jungkook's attention, was the royal seal stamped on it. Looking at it closer, Jungkook realized that the letter had been opened before. It had been opened with a knife very carefully from the bottom.Opening it once again, Jungkook pulled out the letter written by his cousin for Taehyung. Leaning back in the chair, in the badly lit room.It was quiet, and the only things that could be heard was the sound of his own breathing.Sighing, Jungkook placed the letter down in his lap. He felt anger boiling underneath his skin. Biting on his bottom lip, he fought the urge to push down everything on the table in front of him. Instead, he placed the letter inside his coat jacket and got up from his seat. He did not bother closing the drawer and left it open, quickly exiting the office room.Jungkook ignored the looks of the curious guards outside and made his way past them. He now had way more important things to deal with. * 'What on earth do you think you are doing?!' A guard yelled as Jungkook walked onto the battle field whilst the guards were practicing their sword work. Jungkook ignored his words and walked in a straight line. Someone blew into a whistle and the practicing guards stopped their fights.Pulling off his helmet, Taehyung noticed Jungkook who was coming his way.'Jungkook-' He began but stopped as soon as Jungkook was in front of him. Gritting his teeth, Jungkook used all his force and pushed Taehyung back.The guards around them looked confused and unsure, as some wanted to help their leader but weren't able to lay a finger on Jungkook because of his status and the fear of getting in trouble.'Calm down!' Taehyung ordered, when Jungkook attempted to push him again, looking very angry. 'Jungkook!''You idiot!' Jungkook then screamed. 'Who on earth gave you the permission to do such a thing!?' He asked, attempting to push Taehyung again but he held onto his hands instead.Taehyung looked a bit shaken up by this sudden argument between them. He glanced behind him and saw all the guards looking at him. They couldn't have this conversation here, in front of them all.Holding onto Jungkook's hands tightly, he pulled him to the side with him.Jungkook decided to follow, and only continued to voice out his anger after they were inside a a closed room. His face red and palms sore from hitting Taehyung's armor, Jungkook started at Taehyung who held a neutral look on his face.'You signed the paper.' Jungkook whispered. 'Without even asking me, or telling me.'Taehyung sighed, looking away from his angry lover. 'Yes, i did. Because i knew it would cause another fight between us.''And you wouldn't call this a fight?' Jungkook let out a laugh.Jungkook let his arms fall to his side with a sigh. He felt angry. He felt so angry, that he wanted nothing more than to just kick down the table next to him. He wanted to hit his hands against the wall until he was bleeding.The letter, that was still inside his pocket, was a letter from Yoongi. Asking if Taehyung would agree to be the army leader for the next ten years, extending his contract, or if he would like to retire. Taehyung agreed to extending it, without telling Jungkook.Biting his lip, Jungkook slammed his fist against the table.'I knew, that i would never be the most important thing in your life.' He whispered. 'But i still end up feeling hurt, like an idiot.' He said, while placing the letter down onto the table.Taehyung looked sorry. He hated this the most, when he and Jungkook talked about his job. It would never end well.'I didn't know how to tell you.' Taehyung admitted. Jungkook was avoiding his eyes, looking at the wall in front of him. 'I didn't want to hurt you, anymore than i already have.'Taehyung wanted nothing more than to just step closer and comfort the other, but he knew this was not the time for it. Not now when Jungkook wanted to hit him for what he did.Taehyung knew what he did was wrong. He knew that as soon as he made the decision inside his own head, and signed the paper. He just could not bare to have the same conversation with Jungkook again. Make the same decision in front of him that basically translated to him choosing between Jungkook and serving the country. There was room for both in his heart, but Jungkook didn't understand that.'You couldn't have said anything to make me choose differently.' Taehyung said sadly, and Jungkook knew that. He had tried everything that he could come up with before, to try and make Taehyung choose to leave. It never worked.Jungkook swallowed deeply, closing his eyes.'Did you think about me, and what i will be doing with my life for the next ten years when you are still working for the army?' He asked, slowly turning to look at Jungkook.'Do you expect me to wait for you daily? Just to stay, and wait for you to see me once a week or whenever you have the time to?' He asked, anger staining his voice. 'And what about after those ten years? Will you sign the paper again? Then what do you think i will do?'Taehyung stayed quiet, looking at Jungkook with pity in his eyes.Jungkook swallowed down the lump in his throat. His vision was blinded by the tears that threatened to fall down his cheeks.'That is what makes me so angry. You don't have an answer.' He said, voice cracking. 'And i continue to be foolish enough to trust you that someday you will give me that answer.'Letting the tears fall down, Jungkook cried quietly. It broke Taehyung's heart.He hated seeing Jungkook in any physical or mental pain. He didn't deserve any of this. Taehyung didn't deserve him. No matter how much he loves him, Taehyung knows he is only causing Jungkook more harm than good. He is suffering because of him.Jungkook deserves the world and more. He doesn't deserve Taehyung, who cannot give him any of that. He cannot even promise a forever by his side. They have been through his way too many times already. Taehyung has to choose between work and Jungkook. He always chooses work. Jungkook always gets hurt, and it is not fair and it tears Taehyung apart each time.They have separated millions of times, but still somehow gotten back together. Perhaps those times have been a mistake.Taehyung squeezed his fists closed tightly.'I don't want to hurt you anymore.' He whispered, taking a step forward towards Jungkook. His expressions had turned unreadable. Jungkook watched, as Taehyung reached inside his shirt underneath the armor and pulled out his necklace. Pulling on it, it snapped and came off his neck.Taehyung placed the necklace, and the ring around it on top of the table next to them.'You deserve more than me Jungkook.' Taehyung whispered quietly. 'I was never worthy of your love, that i could never give you back.''It's time to end this.'Walking out of the room, Taehyung felt like a monster. He continued to walk and didn't look back. Knowing that Jungkook was still crying broke his heart, but he wouldn't let himself go back and hold him like he wanted to. Taehyung didn't deserve that.Instead, he continued to walk forward. Taehyung walked past his guards, who had been waiting still in the spot where they were left without him. Taehyung walked past them, ordering them to go back inside to their ward. He didn't want them to be there when Jungkook would come out.Storming inside the castle, Taehyung headed towards his own room and ignored everyone who came across his way while doing so.When he reached his room, he slammed the door shut behind him and walked into the living room.Taehyung stood still, frame shaking as his hands formed into fists. Taehyung screamed from the top of his lungs, kicking the leg of a table and bringing it down to the floor with everything on it.Anger building up inside of him, Taehyung spun around and slammed his fist against the decorative mirror. Pieces scattered around him and fell to the floor with a loud sound. The adrenaline began to dye out of his system and he could feel the pain that followed from his act. He pulled his bleeding hand out of the frame of the mirror. Or what was left of it.He could still see his own reflection from the mirror pieces. He didn't look like himself anymore. He had truly changed into someone unknown.He didn't want to look at himself anymore. Turning away from the mirror, Taehyung was gasping for breath.Everything in this place reminded him of Jungkook. All the memories that they made together over the years, were all here with him. Suffocating him. He needed to leave, just to clear his head from this all.He exited the room and didn't look back. * Hoseok was woken up by the sound of the guards yelling something and hitting against the bars of their cages. He did as they told him to, and moved to the front of the cage. They then ordered him to place his hands out side of the bars. They placed handcuffs around his wrists and then opened the cage, to his surprise.He was pulled out of the cage, while guns were pointed at him. Hoseok looked around himself, and realized that other creatures were being let out of their cages as well.They were all being taken somewhere. Anxiety and fear began to eat away at Hoseok's mind as they were being taken away in a neat line. Guns pointed at every one of them. The humans did not have any mercy. They kicked at the creatures on the back of the line who could not walk as well because they were weak and hurt.Hoseok decided not to stick his head in their business, and instead just looked forward. He was not planning on getting shot today or any time soon now. He kept moving forward, and doing as he was told.Hoseok was lucky for knowing human languages thanks to his mothers side, but not every creature was. They came to a stop soon, and all Hoseok could hear was the humans yelling to someone to keep moving. But nothing happened.The guards lifted their weapons, and kept on yelling. Hoseok realized that this creature could not understand the human language. He moved from the line, peeking to see who the humans were talking to. Hoseok couldn't see well, so he couldn't tell what they were. But he knew he couldn't let them get shot.So he quickly yelled towards the front of the line, in as many languages that he could remember, urging the line to move quickly. A guard quickly pointed at him and ordered him to shut up, but they didn't lift up their guns as there was no need to when the line suddenly began to move again.Hoseok felt his heart beat fast against his heart. He had just played a game against the grim reaper. He could have been shot for opening his mouth like that. But instead he was alive, and so was the other creature who was unable to understand the humans.It seemed like they were fine for now, just for a moment. Their walk came to a stop, when they were standing in front of a huge door. That door was then opened by the guards, and they were all blinded by the light. At first Hoseok thought that they were being pointed at with a hundred lights or that there was a fire in front of them, but as his eyes got more and more used to the light, he realized that it was the sun. It had been so long since he last saw the orange ball of light in the sky.They were all moved outside, and they all got a glimpse of their surroundings for the first time. Hoseok couldn't really describe the place that they were in. It was a pier, but there was nothing around them. No other houses or boats. Just the huge storage building and the pier that led to the deep waters of the sea shore.Hoseok was pulled forward as the line moved faster now. They were lined together onto the grass.Hoseok looked around himself and studied the other creatures. They all looked just as afraid as he was. Hope was no where to be seen in their eyes and some looked dead inside. They were desperate to be freed, and would do anything. This was exactly what the humans wanted.A crowd of humans moved up front, so they all could see them. Hoseok watched, as one of the humans stepped forward and began speaking.'You creatures, are here because you have a duty to finish.' The human leader spoke.'We have collected you here, not because we are going to sell you off, but because we need your help. Solaria has never been a good place for you kind to live here. But it is about to become even worse.' Everyone who could understand the humans speech listened closely. 'The new King, who is responsible for your rights, has a horrible plan figured out. That will wipe your kind off of history for good.' He spoke, creating a few whispers to break free in the crowd. Hoseok swallowed deeply, as he continued to listen.'The King and his crew, had stolen creatures and are holding them hostage inside the castle. They are planning to use them as a way to gain power, knowledge of spells and magic from them. Before killing them and attack the rest of you. They have a clear plan to wipe out your kind for good, using whatever it takes.'Hoseok could not believe this lies. He knew the truth, and this was not it. Hoseok couldn't understand why they would tell these lies to them, and think that they would believe them. But then it hit him. The rest would believe him.As the creatures didn't stay near humans or the full cities, they couldn't have any knowledge of the fact that the new laws were being put out to help them. And that he, Namjoon and Jin were in the castle to help them and not being used as science experiments.'With your help, we will defeat the King once and for all and take the throne for ourselves!' The man screamed, lifting his fist up in the air. 'This will be the last war that Solaria ever has to see!'The creatures around him began to cheer. But Hoseok couldn't hear it. His mind went blank, and he couldn't find any sense in any of this.To him it was so clear, that these humans did not plan to keep them alive. The way that they were treating him and the other creatures inside the hall was already telling him that. They were just a distraction. Shields for the bullets that would be shot their way if they truly would attack the castle.But it was a genius plan, and it would work. As everyone else seemed to believe them. In the midst of the cheering and screaming, Hoseok knew the truth.Now it was all up to him to make the creatures believe him instead. Before they would be forced to attack the castle. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- hello, i am making this short announcement so that this doesn't come as a surprise to anyone. i will not be finishing this story. and as of today, i have abandoned all of my other bts fics and i will be abandoning this story as well.i have not been in the fandom for quite some time now, and its weird because i never thought that i would be saying that.i have been stanning the boys since their debut. for 5 years. i was there through it all, and i am so glad i was. but now, they have truly made it. they have so many people supporting them and loving them dearly. they don't need me anymore, and i am going to move on. I have been in the kpop fandom for ten years now, and i have seen a lot of groups come and go. i have also been writing fanfics since 2012 and i have joined and left many fandoms.i guess, i just want to say thank you and im sorry. sorry that i wont be finishing this chapter and that i won't be writing for the fandom anymore.i wanna thank everyone who has stuck with me over the years here on ao3, supporting my fics!i have already made a new account that i have started posting on, but i will not be writing about bts anymore. it is @lets_winwin, if anyone is interested... (and my twitter is @mimmelil) anyways, thank you for everything.and i'm sorry
11216997	Try It And See	{ "Archive Warning": null, "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones", "Fandom": "Torchwood", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by badly_knitted", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-16T00:00:00", "words": "1,083", "Additional Tags": "Community: beattheblackdog, Future Fic, Sports, Established Relationship, Immortal Ianto Jones, Alien Planet, Alien Culture, Fluff, Adventure, Skydiving", "Relationship": "Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply", "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	“How can you know whether or not you like something if you’re not even willing to try it?” Jack asked incredulously. “I had no idea you were such an unadventurous stick-in-the-mud; you’ve always been open to trying new things before.”Ianto frowned, and after due consideration, conceded that Jack had a point. He’d already tried a lot of new things and experiences since he’d first found himself miraculously resurrected from death and bonded with a newly matured TARDIS, so why was he dragging his heels over this? It wasn’t like it could kill him or anything. Not permanently, anyway. Experimentation was an accepted part of his new life, so what was causing him to balk the first time Jack suggested they try something new? Especially since he was always perfectly willing to try anything his TARDIS assured him was safe. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Jack, because he did, mostly, but… Well okay, so maybe he didn’t have complete faith in his lover. More than once they’d ended up in awkward predicaments due to Jack misidentifying devices and substances that had come through the Rift. Ianto had learned, from sometimes painful experience, that it was usually best to be cautious when Jack showed enthusiasm for something. It was all too easy to get caught up in the other man’s excitement and wind up paying the price for it later.“Live a little!” Jack enthused. “What’s the point of being immortal and more or less invulnerable if you don’t take a few chances?”Again, Ianto had to concede the point. It was one thing being cautious when you knew you might be risking your life, but another thing entirely when even dying was little more than a temporary, albeit unpleasant and painful, inconvenience. Still, while Ianto could understand Jack’s point of view, and was even beginning to adopt it, to a certain extent, the habits of a lifetime weren’t that easy to shed. He’d spent several years as a Torchwood agent, and had seen firsthand how quickly life could be snatched away, even from people trained to deal with the unexpected. Caution was so deeply ingrained in him that the idea of throwing himself bodily off the immensely tall cliff they were standing on, without benefit of a parachute or anything more than the flimsy ‘flight-suit’ he was wearing, seemed like the height of stupidity.“I don’t know, Jack, it just seems a bit insane…”“It’s perfectly safe, Ianto. Look around you; it’s like the national sport here!”Ianto looked, and of course Jack was right; people of all ages were coming up in the cable cars only to run to the edge of the cliff and leap, without hesitation, off the edge, throwing themselves as far out as they could, and spreading their arms and legs so that a membrane built into their special suits pulled taut between them and they glided gracefully downwards.“Gravity here is less than a quarter of earth’s, and that combined with the suits and the constant updraft means it’s almost impossible to even get slightly bruised, never mind suffer a serious injury, unless you accidentally land on someone or they land on you,” Jack pointed out. “But that almost never happens. It’s like hang-gliding without all the cumbersome equipment, and I know you remember how much you enjoyed that. This is the closest thing there is to true flight, and with practice, you can learn to do all kinds of aerobatics. There’s even an annual contest, sort of like the Olympics, just with all the events being variations on a single sport.”Keeping well back from the edge, even though he wasn’t scared of heights, Ianto watched more people dive off the cliff, doing twists and barrel rolls with varying levels of complexity and skill. They certainly seemed to be having a great time. Maybe Jack was right and he really was being a tad unadventurous, especially for an immortal.“Well, I suppose it would be a bit daft to come all the way here and not even try the national pastime. Is there anything I need to remember?”“Once you jump off, keep your legs and arms locked so the updraft will carry you away from the cliff face; the only real danger is getting too close and being blown against it, although there are ledges and handholds everywhere that you can aim for if that does happen. Once you’re about fifty metres out you can relax and try some simple rolls, just make sure you keep clear of other flyers. Oh, and breathe through your mouthpiece, it regulates airflow.” Ianto nodded. “Okay, let’s do this before I change my mind again.”Jack helped Ianto strap the mouthpiece of his breather in place before attending to his own, then he took Ianto’s hand and looked questioningly at his lover.Drawing a slow breath in through his mouthpiece, Ianto nodded to Jack, and then they were running for the edge of the cliff, the words ‘oh god this is crazy’ running on a loop through Ianto’s head. They leapt out as far as they could, leaning forwards and spreading their arms and legs. As he did so, Ianto locked his joints the way Jack had told him to, and felt a gentle tug, almost as if he were a puppet on strings, being dangled from the hand of a giant. Then before he knew what was happening, he was soaring away from the cliff as though on spread wings. It made him think of Myfanwy, gliding effortlessly around the cavernous upper reaches of the Hub, and he felt a sudden and unexpected pang of nostalgia; he really missed the old girl.Somehow, that thought seemed to erase the last of his nerves. He opened eyes that he’d closed without realising as he’d made that first leap, and looked down at the ground thousands of metres below. ‘I’m flying,’ he thought, and felt the TARDIS in his mind, sharing his exhilaration along with the view. It was incredible, and if it hadn’t been for the mouthpiece, he would have whooped aloud for the sheer joy of it, dignity be damned. He’d been reluctant to take the leap, but now here he was, high above the planet’s surface, which stretched in a vast panorama below him, held aloft by strong, steady air currents, and experiencing the freedom of unassisted flight for the first time. Suddenly he wasn’t sure he’d ever want to return to the ground.The End
11275146	A Perfectly Normal Human	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Daniel Jacobi, Alana Maxwell, Warren Kepler", "Fandom": "Wolf 359 (Radio)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Mature", "author": "by omojolras", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-22T00:00:00", "words": "2,466", "Additional Tags": "Omorashi, Wetting, Desperation, Watersports, Bladder Control, Bladdershy Jacobi", "Relationship": "Daniel Jacobi/Warren Kepler", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Daniel Jacobi pressed his thighs together, fiddling with some switches in the engine to distract himself. Absentmindedly, he took another sip from his coffee. Just a few more minutes, he thought to himself, shifting his weight from side to side from his spot on the floor. Just a few more minutes, and I’ll go. Maxwell, a few feet to his right, glanced down from her work on some panel. “You okay?” Jacobi nodded. “Yeah, yeah, ’course.” As the minutes ticked by, this became further from the truth. Still crouched on the floor, he pressed his crotch to the ground and winced. He hadn’t peed for hours, and the coffee he’d absentmindedly been sipping all morning was rapidly filling his bladder. He could go to the bathroom. Technically. He could. But— A sudden wave of desperation hit him, and he leaned forward, pausing his work. His right leg, then his left, began to jiggle back and forth. Maxwell glanced down at him again, a hint of exasperation on her face. “Oh my God, just go.” Jacobi winced, doing his best to sit still. “What?” She rolled her eyes, half amused, half concerned. “Oh, come on, Daniel. I know you.” Jacobi felt himself flush red. “I’m fine.” It wasn’t a complete lie—he could hold it, at least for now, as long as he kept fidgeting. And as long as Maxwell would stop talking about it. “There’s a bathroom right down the corridor,” Maxwell sighed. Jacobi gritted his teeth. She thought he didn’t know? “I’m well aware, Alana. I told you, I’m fine.” He squirmed around for a few seconds, looking intently at a jumble of wires. “And besides, Kepler’s been pacing up and down that hallway all day.” A look of understanding dawned on Maxwell’s face. “Oh. Oh, right.” Jacobi’s face flushed, but Maxwell seemed to recognize his predicament, and went blessedly quiet, giving him time to focus on the task at hand. Well, the tasks, plural: a routine maintenance check of the Urania engines, and making sure he didn’t wet himself. He knew it was stupid. He knew it was stupid, the way he could blow up a dozen buildings without batting an eye, but the thought of anybody knowing he had to use the bathroom was terrifying. He hated himself for it, really—the fact that he couldn’t admit he needed a piss, walk down the hallway, say hi to Kepler, and relieve himself. But the thought of Kepler knowing— He blushed at the thought and pressed his thighs together. You can hold it. You can hold it, you can hold it, you can hold it. And if he couldn’t—well, he would. He’d make sure of it. As though reading his thoughts, Maxwell spoke again. “You know, it’s a perfectly normal human function. Everyone needs to piss.” Jacobi let out a dry laugh, then winced at the wave it sent through his rapidly filling bladder. “Everyone? Not Kepler.” Maxwell fell silent. It was true—Kepler seemed to forgo most perfectly normal human functions. Neither of them could recall any time they had seen Kepler display the slightest bit of desperation. Jacobi took a deep breath, readjusted his legs for the fiftieth time, and went to work checking a tangle of wires for any hazards. Everything looked normal. He closed the panel, fingers beginning to tremble as he moved on to his next task. His bladder felt oddly swollen, filled to the brim with liquid. With every jerky movement he made, he felt the swollen water balloon of his bladder slosh, and he did his best to suppress a groan. “I might go out and check if Kepler’s still there,” he said to Maxwell, doing his best to keep his voice casual. “You know. Just because.” Maxwell glanced down at him and almost laughed. Her best friend, a formidable six feet, looked like a little kid. He was crouched low on the ground as he examined some wires. One foot was jiggling nonstop, the other stuffed under his crotch; he swayed from side to side every two seconds; his hands trembled, and he was clearly itching to hold himself. “God, you moron, just go. Kepler’s not—” The doors to the engine room slid open with a hiss of pressurized air. “Mr. Jacobi. Dr. Maxwell.” Jacobi grinned inwardly. Of course. Of course this would happen to him. “Colonel Kepler,” he said, scrambling to his feet, doing his best to stand at army posture and give a salute with an overly full bladder. Standing up seemed to double his need. Doing his best to maintain his posture, he shifted his hips from side to side, pressing his thighs together surreptitiously. Kepler didn’t seem to notice. “Dr. Maxwell, you’re needed in the Hephaestus engineering department. Something about Hera’s processing systems. Some minor glitch. A line appeared between Maxwell’s eyebrows. “Is she all right?” Kepler waved a hand absentmindedly. “Fine, fine.” His steely gray eyes zeroed in on Jacobi. “How are the engine room checks going?” “Fine, sir. I’ll be finished in no time.” As long as you leave this whole goddamn ship for about two minutes, Jacobi added to himself. “Good to hear. Maxwell—to the AI.” Kepler’s eyes flickered to Jacobi. “I can help you out with the system checks. Make it faster, you know.” Jacobi’s eyes widened. He traded half a look with Maxwell, who couldn’t seem to decide if she wanted to look sympathetic or burst out laughing. “Oh, uh—th-that’s very kind of you, Colonel Kepler, but I’m sure I-I can finish up alone—don’t you, uh, want to walk Maxwell t-to the Hephaestus?” Kepler gave Jacobi a quizzical look. “Don’t be ridiculous. I can help.” Maxwell drifted over to the doors, still looking as though she was on the verge of laughing. “Uh, well—good luck, guys.” Her eyes passed over Jacobi one more time, and the doors hissed shut. Jacobi let out a low hiss of air between his teeth. God, as if this situation couldn’t get any worse. Trapped alone with his superior—with Kepler —when he was squirming around like a five-year-old. “So, Jacobi.” Kepler clasped his hands behind his back, looking, as always, like he was plotting some grisly murder. “What’s left to do?” “Oh—I can show you.” Jacobi pushed himself along the walls, grateful for a chance to move. "The fuel lines could use a routine check." "Excellent." Kepler examined the fuel lines, face impassive. Jacobi took this as his cue to make his way over to his previous station. Under the pretense of dropping a wrench, he crouched down behind a large metal box and dug his heel into his crotch. He took a few sharp, uneven breaths. Why did this always happen? Why couldn't he just say it—say, "Hey, Colonel, I need a piss"? Or hell, "I'll be right back"? They'd been through everything together, and Jacobi still couldn't admit when he was on the verge of wetting himself. Don't think about it. Jacobi opened up a panel with more force than necessary and examined some switches and gears, hands, trembling. In the few minutes Kepler had been in the room with him, Jacobi's need seemed to have tripled. He was sweating, trembling, bladder a heavy weight in his lower abdomen. Just say it, he begged himself. Hey, Colonel, I'll be right back. I'll be right back. I'll be— "Mr. Jacobi," Kepler said over the hums and clicks of the engine room, "have I ever told you about that time with the Goddard missile event?" A hard, heavy weight fell into Jacobi's stomach. Not now, he pleaded with Kepler. This story would take twenty, thirty minutes—time he didn't have. "Jacobi? You listening?" The question was not a question, but a threat of what was to come. Jacobi swallowed hard, doubling over. "Yes, sir. I don't believe you've told that one before.” Kepler began to tell some long-winded story, voice a slow, steady drone. Jacobi did his best to fight the growing pressure in his bladder. All the liquid he had been sipping for the past few hours seemed to have suddenly shot to his bladder, and he couldn't hold it for much longer. He squirmed on the floor, swinging his legs from side to side, jiggling one foot, then the next, rocking back and forth—and none of it helped/ In fact, it almost seemed to increase his desperation. Kepler was saying something about missiles. Maybe. It was impossible for Jacobi to focus at this point. His bladder felt stretched beyond capacity. When he leaned forward, it seemed almost ready to burst. He didn't dare touch his bladder—any extra pressure of have been the end—but ht was certain it was rock hard, too full to sustain any extra pressure. His bladder was sending warning signals to his brain, a desperation that rendered him unable to think anything but gottagogottagogottago. Jacobi knew with a certainty that he couldn't make it any longer than a few extra minutes. Even if he could make it to the bathroom, unzipping his uniform was a different matter—it was a one-piece suit, with seemingly endless zippers, and he'd nearly soaked himself inches away from the toilet before... At the thought of a toilet, a slow, steady stream of drips began to trickle down Jacobi's left leg. He let out an audible gasp and, completely giving up any cool pretense, shoved both hands between his legs and began a spectacular potty dance. After a few more seconds of wetness, he managed to step the flow. For a few moments, Jacobi was so relieved that he had managed not to wet himself completely that he didn’t notice that Kepler’s voice had tapered off. Jacobi glanced across the room and saw that Kepler was giving him an odd stare. “Mr. Jacobi? Are you all right?” A wave of heat spread from Jacobi’s face to his toes. He was fairly certain he had never been this embarrassed in his life, and he knew that if he didn’t do something soon, the humiliation was about to intensify tenfold. Kepler was still waiting for an answer, eyebrow raised. A war raged inside of Jacobi. You can’t piss yourself in front of the Colonel. You’re going to piss yourself. Just ask to go. This is the worse you’ve ever had to piss. Another wave of desperation rocked through Jacobi, and he felt another stream of urine spurt out, this one more prolonged. “I have to go,” he blurted out roughly, stepping towards the door. Another trickle—more of a jet—stopped him cold. Kepler continued to stare. “What do you mean? Where are you going?” “I—I have to—” Jacobi scrambled towards the door, practically hopping from foot to foot, but the dam burst. He was pissing so hard that, for a moment, the wind seemed to be knocked from him. He whimpered, holding himself for a few seconds in a flimsy attempt to stem the flow, but the relief nearly knocked him over, and he gave in. He moaned as the warm wetness washed over him, as the urine pooled in his boots and soaked his suit. He seemed to pee endlessly. As the final trickles escapes him, he let out a small whimper. Empty at last, he felt almost dizzy, as though he had fallen asleep and awoke in a different world. And then reality crashed back down. As he slowly lifted his head, he met Kepler’s steely eyes. Jacobi’s face flushed a color he didn’t know was possible. “I—I—” His hands flew to his crotch, as though that could conceal the damage. “Colonel Kep-Kepler, I-I’m so sorry, I—” He cursed himself. The relief seemed to have loosened his tongue. Ashamed, he averted his eyes. The colonel gazed at him, expression unchanged. “Ah, you know, Mr. Jacobi…” The corners of his mouth twitched for half a second. “There is a bathroom down the hallway.” Jacobi’s face flared brighter. “I know,” he muttered, voice barely above a whimper. “And?” “I…” He did his best to ignore the pinpricks of tears at the corners of his eyes, hoping they were from relief, not some other emotion. “I’m…I’m so sorry, sir. I didn’t want to interrupt a job. I—I have this thing, you know, about, uh, letting other people know—it doesn’t matter. I, uh, I thought I could wait.” Kepler’s eyes traveled to the urine-darkened legs of Jacobi’s suit. “Evidently not.” Jacobi winced. “No, sir.” The two men stood in silence for a few moments. Jacobi breathed shallowly, still coping with the ecstacy of an empty bladder coupled with his growing humiliation. “Well, go clean yourself up,” said Kepler after a long silence. Jacobi glanced up at the older officer. “Sir?” “Clean up. You’ve got extra uniforms, don’t you?” “Yes, sir.” “Get one. Get changed. Come back. Finish your job.” “O-Of course, sir.” Jacobi didn’t move. Kepler raised an eyebrow. “Is there something you don’t understand, Mr. Jacobi?” “I…” Jacobi’s cheeks grew hot. “I can’t. Everyone will see—” He did his best to fight off the tears that were suddenly coming again for no reason. “Everyone will see that, that I wet myself like some little kid. You’ve already seen me. I—I can’t.” Kepler fixed Jacobi with a cool stare. “That’s not my problem.” Jacobi felt the warm wetness of his uniform cooling, clinging to his legs, and he hated himself. His superior officer hated him. He couldn’t hold his own piss, something a fucking five-year-old could do. And Kepler saw it all. And he could feel the tears coming, and he hated himself— “I’ll get it.” Jacobi glanced up and saw Kepler’s expression. What was it, pity? Amusement? It was foreign, but not unwelcome. “What, sir?” Kepler sighed. “I’ll get you a clean uniform. What the hell. As long as it’ll get you back to work faster.” Jacobi blushed, staring at his urine-filled boots. “You don’t have to—” He cleared his throat. “I mean, thank you. Thank you, sir.” “It’s forgotten.” Inches away from the automatic doors, Kepler paused and glanced back towards Jacobi. “You know, you’re not the first grown man I’ve seen wet himself. It happens. Don’t beat yourself up over it.” And he was gone. Jacobi took a deep breath, not sure what to unpack first. The fact that he’d wet himself? The fact that he’d wet himself in front of Kepler? The bizarre kindness of Kepler? For the moment, he focused on the lightness of his bladder, focused on how good it felt to be empty. He stroked his cock through his saturated uniform, wondering if he could get off before Kepler returned. Or maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if Kepler walked in on that, too. It had been a very strange day.
11210001	Bounded	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": null, "Characters": null, "Fandom": "Original Work", "Language": "English", "Rating": "General Audiences", "author": "by LoudonVernUli", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-15T00:00:00", "words": "132", "Additional Tags": "Poetry", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": "Poetry", "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	no longer feel boundedto one anotherI no longer feel the childish pleasureI once hadThe feeling of bounded to one anotherSeems to of died within'These bounds that once held us togetherNo longer shows.It's as if the pliers of hate and depressionSnapped this bound among us offNothing hasn't been sharedFor decades it seemsOur bound it seem to decayWhen our eyes no longer meet At the center of everything we seeWe no longer it seemThat we feel the same sympathyOur lustOur happinessOur promising futureNo longer seems so clearAs our bound seem to of snapWith the sharp knifed pain of depression and hateHas now shownUnless the bound...Wasn't there in the first place.
11203284	Shades Of Gray	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": null, "Characters": "Zuko (Avatar), Mai (Avatar), Azula (Avatar), Ty Lee (Avatar), Sokka (Avatar), Katara (Avatar), Iroh (Avatar), Suki (Avatar)", "Fandom": "Avatar: The Last Airbender", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by orphan_account", "chapters": "8/8", "completed": "2017-11-28", "published": "2017-07-14T00:00:00", "words": "10,828", "Additional Tags": "Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Romantic Soulmates, Fluff, Dating, Kisses, Sarcasm, Characters Watching Disney Movies, LGBTQ Female Character of Color, LGBTQ Character of Color, Alternate Universe - High School, First Meetings, Martial Arts, Aromantic Character, Trans Character, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, i mean it's maiko fic so that's kinda inevitable, Picnics, Meeting the Parents, Balcony Scene, s", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "Mai/Zuko (Avatar), Katara/Zuko (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar), Mai/Ty Lee (Avatar), Sokka/Suki (Avatar)", "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": "F/F, F/M, M/M", "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Zuko had been born with a thick, inky K on the back of his neck. His mother smiled, saying it was a sign of a strong connection between him and his soulmate. She rubbed her own soulmark ruefully. She had kept it hidden ever since her marriage.His father scoffed, saying it was sentimental nonsense. "Old-fashioned and ridiculous," he said, voice a threatening rumble that made Ursa flinch with every word from his lips, the back of his neck unmarked. "Zuko will marry his soulmate, yes, but this connection business is completely idiotic."His uncle smiled at the mark, always a romantic. "A strong connection is an excellent sign." But a realist as well. "Although you never know what kind of connection it will be." The red soulmark on his neck seemed to glow in agreement with his words.Azula teased him for the mark endlessly as they grew up, and Zuko tried to retaliate, although he was rarely successful. She was always the golden child. The one who always lied and never got caught. Once, he thought he'd met his soulmate, but their romance ended nearly as suddenly as it began, the name filling out in the presence of their younger sister instead.Generally, Zuko avoided his soulmate. It was easier for everyone, and he was starting to think that the concept of love was an elaborate hoax. But then everything changed, starting with a girl named Mai.Spilling a cup of ice cream on one of his sister's best (and only) friends was not the greatest introduction Zuko had ever had to endure. Especially given the fact that the girl in question was really, really hot."So sorry about that," Zuko stammered, fumbling for the napkin dispenser.To her credit, the girl didn't seem rattled. She glanced at the ice cream on her dark red shirt with a bored, albeit slightly exasperated, expression. "Gee. How refreshing."Zuko blushed. "I said sorry," he mumbled. He rubbed the soulmark on the back of his neck, the way he always did when nervous.The girl rolled her eyes. "Whatever. You're Zuko, right? Azula told me to expect you. Although she didn't tell me to expect you to be like this." The girl wrinkled her nose as she looked him up and down.Zuko was getting more and more flustered as he tried to keep his train of thought coherent. "Yeah, I'm Zuko," he said, a little forcefully. "Why? Who are you?""Mai," said the girl, who now had a name, in a voice that was almost a sigh. "I'll see you around. Going to find your sister now. You keep doing . . . whatever it is you were doing." She waved one pale hand languidly in his direction, the lights catching her black nail polish and making it gleam. As she walked away, Zuko tried to catch a glimpse of the back of her neck, but her hair, which was just as dark and reflective as her nails, obscured it."You like her," observed Azula, who was standing right behind him. Her creepy ability to sneak up on people no matter where they were had never failed to make him jump."I do not!" Zuko said. He'd never been a good liar. Unlike Azula."Whatever you say," the fourteen-year-old replied, clearly not convinced. "I don't think your soulmate would like that, Zuzu.""Shut up," Zuko muttered."What a snappy retort," Azula muttered, examining her nails. "I really don't know how you think of them.""Whatever," Zuko said, trying and failing to control his blushing. "Have fun." "We will!" Azula called after him as he stormed off. He sat in his room for a while, trying to do homework, until he got bored and, hearing noises from downstairs, decided to investigate."You're watching a Disney movie?" Zuko said, looking on in disbelief."We're making fun of The Little Mermaid," Mai corrected, grabbing the remote and pausing it. She raised an eyebrow in an almost artful manner. "Care to join us?"Zuko deliberated for a moment. He hated his sister, and spending extended amounts of time with her wasn't really his idea of fun. But on the other hand, this could be a chance to smooth things over with Mai after the earlier awkwardness. No way could he pass that up. "Sure, why not?" He seated himself on the couch next to Mai. "I hate that movie."She almost smiled. Azula snatched the remote control and pressed play.The next hour consisted of snarky comments about the plot, romance, design, soundtrack, and scientific implausibility of The Little Mermaid, mostly supplied by Mai and Azula, although Zuko chimed in whenever he thought of something that didn't sound completely idiotic.Finally, it was over. The three sat there for a second before Mai broke the silence. "That was so happy I think I'm going to puke."Zuko laughed. He was liking this girl more and more. "Every time," he agreed.Mai turned towards him. "Your family doesn't strike me as one for Disney.""We're not," Zuko said. "Dad says it's a waste of time. Mom was the Disney fan in our family." He didn't add the "until she left". He didn't need to."And you've always agreed with Mom, haven't you, Zuzu?" Azula said, smirking.In that moment, there was nothing Zuko wanted more than to murder his sister. He went with a classic "Shut up" instead, which earned him an annoyingly unbothered laugh from Azula and a quizzical look from Mai."Alright, well, you two have fun being depressing together," Azula said, pursing red lips. "I'm going to get something productive accomplished this weekend, and I can't do it if I keep hanging around. Zuko, for once in your miserable life, do try not to make a fool of yourself in front of a girl who isn't family." With that, she swept out of the living room."You're just going to leave your guest here to do homework?" Zuko yelled after her, annoyed at her ability to get the last word. He turned to Mai and flinched at the sharp look she was giving him."I can function in someone else's home, Zuko," she said, rolling her eyes."Right," he stammered. "I didn't mean to offend-I mean, it's just-"Mai looked slightly amused now. Was she capable of having strong emotions? "Are you done?"Zuko could feel himself heating up again and chose not to answer that question. He'd already embarrassed himself enough for one lifetime. "Do you need anything?" He asked instead.Mai stretched, then relaxed, leaning over the side of the couch lazily like a long, lanky cat. "I'm fine."A strange silence fell over them. Zuko felt the need to say something to ease the tension. "Um, so I was wondering," he began, not sure exactly where he was going with this, "to, um, apologize for the stuff earlier-" he could have slapped himself. Why did he have to bring that up? How stupid could he be?At least he had her attention now. "You were wondering?" She prompted."Yeah, so I was thinking that maybe to, you know, make up for that . . . maybe I could take you out for ice cream or something?" He looked up at her hopefully, hands fidgeting.She turned her head to look at him, hair shifting to reveal the edge of an inky black mark. "Ice cream?"Shit. He hadn't forgotten that aspect of their awkward introduction, but it had drifted to the back of his mind, and he only considered the implications of what he was saying after he'd said it. "Oh god, sorry!" He blurted. "It doesn't have to be ice cream, we could just go for-I don't know-coffee, or tea, or something?" His voice squeaked on the end of the sentence, making him cringe inwardly.Another raise of a thin eyebrow. "Tea?""I know it sounds a little stereotypical," Zuko said, wishing he could make himself stop talking, "but my uncle owns a great place. It's quiet, out of the way-" Zuko was starting to get the distinct feeling that he was fucking things up more with every word that came out of his mouth. He pressed on. "-but the tea is great, and I'll try not to, um, spill anything."She eyed him for a few seconds and he tried not to look at the back of her neck. "Sure, why not," she said, shrugging passively. "Are you free Saturday?""I've got Japanese stuff with Azula at three, but I'm fine until then," Zuko said, heart feeling like it would hammer out of his chest."Cool.""Cool."He grinned at her, and she gave him a sort-of smile back.Just when they had settled into a comfortable sort of silence, it was shattered by the sound of loud rap music, as well as laughter, overly high volume conversation, and several honks of a car horn."That would be my ride," Mai said with a sigh. Azula came down the stairs, a scowl on her face, but it smoothed itself into a smile when she saw Mai. "Sorry to see you go, Mai. I had a great time." She leaned forward, embracing the other girl, and Mai reciprocated stiffly.Pulling back from the hug, she turned to Zuko. "See you on Saturday?""Yes! Definitely! Absolutely!" Zuko said, smiling a bit wider than necessary.She waved slightly, then turned and disappeared out the door.Zuko collapsed backward onto the couch. Never before had the ceiling looked so beautiful.Azula leaned over the back of the couch, smirking down at him. "Don't say a word," he warned her, scowling. Surprisingly, she obeyed, tossing up her hands and turning away. His smile returned. What soulmate? ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- That Saturday, Zuko took the bus down to Uncle's tea shop. He had gotten Mai's number from Azula after copious amounts of begging and a fair bit of bribery so he could let her know where to go. Hopefully she wouldn't get lost. The way there could be a little confusing.As the bus approached his stop, Zuko ran his fingers through his hair one last time, thumb brushing over the faded burn mark on his eye. Don't think about that, he told himself. It'll be fine. She didn't notice last time and she won't this time either.He checked his phone for the time. He was a couple minutes early, but that was fine. The bus ground to a halt and he forced himself to take a deep breath. Time to get this show on the road.The Jasmine Dragon was only a block away from the bus stop, and he'd been there enough times to commit the way to memory. Pushing open the door, the bell jingling behind him, Zuko greeted the proprietor with a grin. "Uncle Iroh!""Well, if it isn't my favorite nephew!" Iroh said, giving him a hug. "Nice to see you back here again. Trouble at home?""No, everything's fine," Zuko said. "I'm meeting a . . ." He paused, not sure what to call her. "A friend.""Well, why don't you take the corner table and wait. I'll make you your favorite!" Iroh gestured with his teapot. "It's been a slow day, I'm glad to have company.""Glad to see you too, Uncle." Zuko did as told and sat at the corner table, watching the street for any sign of Mai. The tea shop was small and usually quiet, but wasn't easily missed, with the bright, inviting storefront and the shop name in bold letters over the door. It was a calm, peaceful atmosphere, the flower bushes out front adding to the relaxing feel.A few people came through the door, occupying other tables, but still no sightings of Mai. She wouldn't bail on him, would she? You're just being paranoid, he thought, drumming his fingers on the tabletop. As always.The bell jingled from the door. There she was, wearing a black leather jacket over a short red dress, heeled black boots, and matching red fingerless gloves, looking around uncertainly."Mai! Over here!" Zuko said, standing and waving her over. Heads turned, but fortunately one of them was hers."Thank goodness," Mai said, taking a seat across from him. "I had to walk the whole way. I was going to take the bus, but I missed it because some guy was trying to talk to me. Ugh. If you weren't here, I'd have to contemplate throwing myself off a bridge or going home to watch Netflix."Zuko smiled, remembering (as if he'd ever forgotten) just why he liked hanging out with this girl. "Well then, I guess I saved you from excruciating boredom this afternoon."Mai waved a dismissive hand, nails still jet black. "Please. I'm in a constant state of excruciating boredom, I don't think anyone could save me from that.""Challenge accepted."She smirked at him, a gleam in her eyes. "So, when do we order?""W-what?" Zuko stuttered, caught off guard. "Oh, you mean the tea! My uncle will be here soon."He was. "Sorry for the wait, we're short staffed today." Iroh scrutinized Mai for a careful moment, then gave her a warm smile. "It's nice to meet one of my nephew's friends. He doesn't bring people here often.""I'm sure it's a great honor," Mai said, offering him a small smile in return. Iroh had that effect on people.The two placed their (surprisingly similar) orders and settled in to wait. "So," Zuko said, wishing he could think of a better conversation starter, "how're classes?"This question seemed to be a catalyst for a lot of pent-up frustration for the both of them, and they vented to each other about teachers and classmates and assignments. Zuko tried to get Mai to laugh or even smile, which she did once after an anecdote about the time he and his former friends (he used the term "friends" loosely) had snuck into the teachers' lounge and tried to steal some food on a dare. They had ended up with a sushi container, a bag of chips, and a can of soda. Mai's laugh was a quiet, low chuckle that sounded a little like the purr of a cat. It made Zuko laugh a little as well.Their tea came, barely interrupting their banter. Mai was funny in a dark way. Her jokes would probably be considered morbid in different company, but they were right up Zuko's alley. He didn't notice the bell chime from the front until a problem was staring him in the face."Zuko! My main man!" Said the cocky, wisecracking, Inuit 15-year-old by the name of Sokka. "Didn't know you were here, I thought you had that class with your crazy sister."Zuko really didn't want to talk about Azula. Or Japanese. "That's later," he muttered."Alright, alright," Sokka said, filing that away for further use. Then he saw Mai. "Who's this, your new girlfriend?"Zuko went red. "She's not my girlfriend!" He said, louder than necessary. Across the table, Mai looked faintly annoyed.Sokka put up his hands. "Sheesh. Touchy subject.""Piss off.""Aw, that's no way to talk to your best friend!" He stuck out his hand over the table. "I'm Sokka, pronounced with an 'okka'.""Charmed."Zuko managed not to look too murderous as he made small talk until Sokka finally decided they were boring and left. "What's with him?" Mai asked.Slumping, Zuko tried to figure out how to answer that. "Sokka? It's complicated. He's my . . ." Just say he's your annoying friend, Zuko thought. It's not that hard. "He's my ex-boyfriend." Goddamnit Zuko.Mai continued to look bored."I'm bi," Zuko added. "We're still friends, he just likes to give me a hard time about . . ." he trailed off, waving his hand vaguely. His heart pounded. Mai snorted. "No wonder he was being like that. I can't relate.""What, no obnoxious exes come to interrupt your dates?" Zuko teased, overwhelmingly relieved."Nah, Ty Lee's chill. You know her, right?"It took Zuko a second to process what she'd said. "Hard not to." As head of the cheerleaders and resident flirt, she was one of the school's most recognized figures."We dated for a bit. We were soulmates, but it didn't end up working out. She's . . . not one for dating.""I thought Sokka was my soulmate. It turned out to be his younger sister."Mai laughed at that. "Tea's finished. Wanna jet?" Zuko got up. "Can I walk you?" In theory, he knew it was getting close to 3, but he didn't really care."I don't see why not."They took the shortest route possible to Mai's house, walking quickly, as she said her parents didn't like her being out for too long. "My dad has a government job, so anything I do reflects on them," she explained, though Zuko hadn't asked.He took her to the door, suddenly very aware of how close they were. "Thanks for walking me," Mai said. "I actually had an okay time." Her lips brushed against his cheek and she vanished inside.Zuko stood outside the house for a few seconds, then turned and started away at a fast clip. "Well," he said to no one in particular. "I'd call that a success." ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- After a month, hanging out with Mai made it onto the list of Things Zuko Enjoyed Doing, which was never all that long to begin with, so anything new was newsworthy. Being Azula's friend, Mai came over once in a while and soon she and Zuko started doing more things on their own.They mostly spent time together in public places, as neither of them liked being home too much, although neither wanted to talk about it. They hung out in parks, mocking the happy, normal people and watching movies on Zuko's shitty laptop. Romance was continually revisited so they could make fun of the pairing involved. They broke out The Little Mermaid once in a while, though, just for kicks.Sometimes they'd hang around downtown, but Mai insisted they keep to the backstreets. "My parents don't want their daughter seen in public with some guy who's not her soulmate, even his he is Japanese with a super rich, super important family," she explained with a sigh."I'll be a gentleman," Zuko promised. "Maybe wear a suit. Or I could buy you something horribly sentimental.""You wouldn't dare."Another thing Zuko and Mai had in common was that both hated parties, the high school variety and the horrible politician-filled ones their respective parents made them attend. Nevertheless, they did go to a beach party together on one occasion at Azula's request (it was phrased as a request, but like most of the things Azula said, it sounded like an order). And when Azula made requests, it was always best to honor them.When they arrived to the party, the host (a kid named Chan who Zuko hated immediately) showed them inside, whereupon Mai was accosted by Ty Lee, wearing a breezy white dress and a worried expression. There was a large crowd of admirers waiting for her. This seemed to be the problem."Mai, I need your help," she said in a stage whisper. "I've tried to explain to these boys that I don't want to date them, but they're not listening!""Just tell them you don't like any of them," Mai said, rolling her eyes. "Or beat them up if you want. Either is acceptable.""I can't be mean to them! They like me, and they've all been so nice!""Fine, I'll tell them I'm your soulmate and they'll back off.""Thank you so much! You're amazing, Mai," Ty Lee said, throwing her arms around the other girl. Mai patted her on the back a bit and the two of them went off together.Zuko hung out not interacting with anyone until Mai got back. He got them both drinks and some food and they spent the rest of the night sitting on a couch in the corner and talking about how universally awful parties were.The place they spent the most time at was the Jasmine Dragon. Iroh was always happy to see them and gave them free tea, asking about things at school but never feeling invasive. The result was that they were always happy to see him as well. During one of their visits, the topic came up somehow, and Zuko liked hearing what Mai had to say on the matter."You see, knowing you is a blessing and a curse," Mai said, sipping her tea with a gleam in her eyes."How so?" Zuko said, raising his eyebrows. Playing this game was always entertaining."Well, the blessing is that I finally have someone to talk to that isn't hopelessly boring," Mai explained. "You have no idea how rare that is.""That's nice to hear.""The curse is that I've had to expand my list of People That Make Me Feel Something Other Than Abject Misery by two," she continued, "And I haven't had any new additions since I met Ty Lee. It's horribly inconvenient, and also interrupts my whole emotionless vibe.""I'm glad we mean that much to you," Zuko said. "What, exactly, do I make you feel?" He did his best to look curious. He didn't do it often."Slight annoyance and an occasional hint of amusement," she said, eyes downright sparkling now.He smiled. "I'll take what I can get.""You do that."One night, on one of those rare occasions when they did hang out at Zuko's house, they were sitting on the balcony watching the sunset. Zuko's father was away on a business trip and Mai had managed to get away from her parents by saying she'd be with Azula. She looked beautiful as always in a dark red tank top, and she'd drawn flowers all up and down her pale arms with black marker."What's with the flowers?" Zuko said, tapping her shoulder to get her attention."Hm?" She turned away so he couldn't see her face. "It's a fashion statement for the tragically goth. Or the gothically tragic, I haven't decided yet."He wasn't sure if he believed her, but decided to let the subject drop. "It's nice out," he offered."Sure, if you like sunsets.""Do you?""No," she replied. "Orange. Not my color."He laughed, putting an arm around her shoulder. She leaned against him, then withdrew, startled. "What's that?""What's what?""That." Her fingertips traced the burned skin over his eye."It's a scar." He felt strange, letting her do this. Vulnerable. Zuko usually didn't let people touch his scar. But, he supposed, Mai was an exception."I know that," she said, rolling her eyes. "But when did this happen? How?""It was a while ago," he said stiffly. "Around the time I broke up with Sokka, actually." There. A diversion.She frowned. It was clear she wasn't going to let this go, but for now . . ."Do you miss him?"The question was so unexpected, Zuko almost laughed. "No, like I said, we're still friends." He felt her relax. "And, you know, I think he's with some girl now."She smiled a little. "What?" Zuko asked."It's just that he might say something similar about you.""Huh? I mean, do you . . . Am I . . .?" Zuko stammered, not sure what to say without getting tongue-tied.She sighed impatiently, then leaned over and kissed him. Zuko's insides heated up like toaster coils, so warm he felt as though if he exhaled hard enough, he'd set the roof on fire.They broke apart, smiling at each other. "So, did you mean . . .?" Zuko hesitated. "Do you like me?""I guess I might," Mai said. "You're not horrible.""Like, in a dating way?" Zuko had to ask."Yes, like in a dating way." She was blushing a little, and so was he."I guess I might like you too.""Good." ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Zuko had to get used to calling Mai his girlfriend. More often then not, he'd start with "friend", then catch and correct himself. Which led to some weird looks.That wasn't to say that the act of dating Mai in and of itself didn't attract weird looks and snide remarks. People who saw them together always seemed to react the same way."You know you guys won't last, right?""Don't you have a soulmate? Why aren't you dating her?""You're not going to be happy together. Just break up now and get it over with."Mai never looked especially bothered by these comments, but for Zuko, they stung, though he tried to act otherwise. He'd look at her and wonder how she could keep cool at times like these when all he could do was blow up. "I've had a lot of practice" was all she said when he asked. For this reason, they usually didn't tell people about their relationship unless asked directly. Which was why it was such a shock that over lunch one day, at some generic, unmemorable fast food place, Mai broached the topic of parents."What about them?" Zuko asked, trying not to look too nervous."Well, I told mine about you."It took him a moment to fully process what she'd said. "Why? I thought you said they wouldn't like it!""Well, they were going to find out sometime. What would be the point of keeping it from them?""Whatever. What did they say?""Not much." Mai poked at her food. She somehow kept up her usual air of detachment. "They want to meet you."If he'd been drinking, Zuko would've choked. "You mean they approve?""I never said that." She met his eyes. "So if you want to come over sometime for dinner and listen to my parents insulting us both and making 'subtle' jabs about nonmate dating, you'd be perfectly free.""Sounds great." The next weekend, Azula teased him as he got ready, watching with a skeptical eye as he tried to do his hair. It seemed to be getting even messier the more he worked."Why are you so worried about this, Zuzu? It's just meeting your girlfriend's parents, who actively disapprove of your relationship and will be looking for any possible excuse to keep you apart." His sister rested her chin on a hand, managing to emulate an almost Mai-like bored exasperation. "Honestly, you're getting all worked up over nothing," she sighed. "Well, off you go, then."Dinner went as predicted. Mai's parents seemed friendly at first. They mostly ignored Mai unless it was to scold her, or talked to Zuko about her as if she wasn't in the room, but that was nothing out of the ordinary. Zuko's father did it to him all the time when he wasn't away (his mother had been different, but he assumed she was the exception to the rule). Her brother seemed cute, and it was clear her parents doted on him. Then they began the questioning."So, Zuko, how did you meet our daughter exactly?" Mai's mother inquired, refilling his teacup. "She's not very social. I've always said she needs to get out more."Zuko shrugged. He wasn't the best with words, and he had a feeling that whatever answer he gave wouldn't be good enough. "She's friends with my sister. We had her over and I took her out for tea.""That's nice," the older woman replied. "I've always said Mai never shows a true appreciation for her culture. She's so moody. I don't like that. Girls need to be sweet, not brooding.""I don't mind," Zuko said."Don't you? How . . . interesting. How long have you two known each other?""About two months," Zuko said. He resisted the urge to rub at his soulmark, which always seemed to calm him down."Have you seen anyone else recently? I like a nice traditional match, you know, but people these days do seem to have very peculiar ideas about these sorts of things. I've always said no good can come of it."Zuko looked to Mai for help, but she was staring intently at her napkin and wouldn't meet his eyes."Not recently," he said, hoping she'd give up on the interrogation. No such luck."Well, are you not marked then? Or is it something else? Mai, that Ty Lee girl was so nice, but that didn't end up working out, now did it?"The napkin seemed to be even more interesting all of a sudden. "No, it didn't.""Look me in the eye while I'm talking to you!" Her mother snapped, making Zuko nearly jump out of his chair. "Don't make me say it again, young lady, improve your behavior when we have guests.". She switched focus back to Zuko. "I'm sorry about her.""It's fine," Zuko said, a little shaken.Mai finally looked up. "No, it didn't," she repeated."I've always said you were both being silly about the whole thing. She used to come to your karate matches. You two would have been so lovely. But enough about that, Zuko, how're your parents?"This continued until dessert, which Zuko finished as soon as he could. Mai, in a surprise move, as she hadn't said more than three words together thus far, asked if she could show him the rest of the house. Zuko was more than happy to go along."I'm sorry about them," she said as soon as they were out of earshot."I'm sorry about them, too," Zuko said. "But back there, did your mom say something about karate?""Yeah. I fight competitively. Although I haven't really been challenged in a while. After I started getting good, beating people just wasn't exciting.""That's cool," Zuko said, and meant it. "I do a little martial arts, but I don't compete. I wish I could see that, I bet you're awesome."Mai shrugged. "You can come to my next match. I'll text you the address.""Sounds great." Zuko arrived a little early for the bout, but Mai seemed happy to see him. She wore the traditional loose white clothing and colored belt, a far cry from her normal attire. A black ink rose peeked out from her sleeve, petals stretching across her wrist. She was almost smiling."Hey," Zuko said as he got closer to her. "Nice to see you.""Dork," she said, and kissed him. "Glad you're here.""Wouldn't miss it."The dojo started filling up, the modest crowd talking and laughing and waiting for the match to begin. People were still filing in when one couple in particular caught Zuko's eye. It was Sokka, laughing and talking, with his arm around . . . a girl?The girl in question was wearing the same karate outfit as Mai, but on her it hung looser, her body sharp angles whereas Mai was all soft lines. She was muscular, broad-shouldered, and a couple inches taller than Sokka, her pale skin throwing her short, reddish hair into sharp relief. She had a strong jaw and a straight nose, and Sokka looked at her like she was the moon.Something about that look made Zuko feel like someone was repeatedly twisting his internal organs. He realized it was the same feeling he got whenever Mai (or her parents) mentioned Ty Lee. That was something he refused to dwell on.Sokka and the mystery girl were facing away from Zuko now, Sokka clapping her on the shoulder. There was spiky black writing across the back of his neck, but Zuko couldn't quite make it out. "Knock 'em dead out there, Suki," Sokka was saying. "You'll do great! And I promise I won't cheer too much.""Thanks, Sokka," Mystery Girl-Suki-said, kissing him on the cheek. "I'm an elite warrior who's trained for years, I think I'll do okay.""That's why I love you!" Sokka called as Suki walked away. He climbed the stands, not really looking where he was going, and took a seat far too close for Zuko's liking. Chuckling, Sokka tore his gaze away from Suki and Zuko tried not look like he'd been staring. It didn't work."Ah! Zuko! You're here?!""Yeah," Zuko said, folding his arms and facing away. Sokka hesitated. He seemed about to say something, then changed his mind. "Cool."They stayed that way until the match started. Zuko saw Mai and her opponent facing off. He noted that said opponent was also Sokka's . . . someone, Suki. He wasn't sure how he felt about that.Both girls were fast and light on their feet, which wasn't surprising. The punches, jabs, and blocks were so swift it was hard to tell who had the upper hand. Zuko was stunned. He'd expected Mai to be good, but this was far beyond his expectations.To her credit, Suki was definitely holding her own. She took the hits well and had superb balance, managing to avoid some of Mai's worse attacks and recovering quickly from the blows that did land. She even caught Mai with a chop to the ribs that made her stumble, just a little."Your girlfriend's great," Sokka said, breaking the silence between them as Zuko watched."She's not my-" Zuko caught himself. "Yeah, she's amazing."Sokka regarded him curiously and shrugged. "So, I was thinking that maybe you, your girlfriend, Suki, and myself could hang out for a while afterwards? Double date?"Zuko considered this. Did he want to see Sokka and his girlfriend together? Did he want to bring Mai? She hadn't spoken to Sokka much before, and hadn't liked him a lot. Thinking about it made that twisting in his gut intensify. "Maybe. I should ask Mai first. Probably not.""Oh, right. Of course. Sorry. I forgot, she doesn't like people." Sokka turned away, the jagged soulmark even more visible. Zuko now saw that part of it read Suki. He focused back on the match. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Mai won the match. All the light and energy that had radiated from her person vanished when the ref declared her the victor, replaced with her usual look. Sokka gave Zuko a nervous glance, then hurried down to commiserate with his girlfriend."You were great," Zuko said when he'd scrambled off the bleachers. "Seriously.""Thanks," Mai said flatly."You're not happy about winning?"She heaved another great sigh. Really, sighing was almost an art form with this girl. "No. Well, kind of. God, just when I thought I'd finally have a challenge for once. Oh well. Victory is boring."By the looks of it, she'd been pretty challenged for most of the fight, but Zuko decided not to bring that up. "I guess. Want to . . . I don't know . . . watch a terrible movie at my house? My dad's not home.""When is he ever?" Mai said. "Sure, let's go."Zuko picked The Karate Kid for the sake of irony. Mai couldn't resist an eye roll at that, but they had what might be considered fun hating on it. "It's a proven fact that it's practically impossible to make a martial arts movie that doesn't suck," Mai said as the credits rolled."Not completely impossible?" Zuko had to ask."Kung Fu Panda," Mai deadpanned.They shared a sigh (perhaps Mai's habits were rubbing off on him) and finished the movie in silence."You know, Ty Lee used to come to my events all the time," Mai said eventually.Zuko felt himself tense. "Yeah?""She'd yell 'encouraging' things at me from the sidelines. I guess it was practice for her whole cheerleading thing. I'd go to her gymnastics stuff too.""That's cool, I guess." Why was she telling him this?"She still comes, just not as often.""Why are you telling me this?"She shrugged. "I don't know. I just thought it was interesting and kind of related to what we were talking about. Why does there have to be a reason?"Zuko felt weirdly defensive. Where did she get off acting like he was the one being irrational when it was her who'd started the whole thing in the first place? "I don't know! Why do you have to keep talking about her? Why do your parents have to keep talking about her?""Why do you care so much about my parents? Why does it bother you so much to talk about her?" Mai sounded almost angry, which was quite unlike her. "She's my friend! I'm allowed to do that!""It just bothers me, okay?!" Zuko definitely sounded angry now. He could never back down from something once he'd started it. "And she's not just your friend, she's your ex-girlfriend and your fucking soulmate! Everyone expects you to be together. You could do that, too, without all the shit that comes with me dating you." He was breathing hard now, face red. "You'd be the perfect couple who your parents would approve of. You could've been together without the baggage and no one would disapprove! You two could've had that! She could've had you! And she threw it away, or you got bored of not being troubled, and now you're stuck with me. You sound like you miss her, miss that, and I don't blame you. I'm just not good enough, I guess. For you or anyone else."Mai was quiet for a few seconds. Zuko could hear his own heart thumping in his chest. He counted beats. Finally, she spoke."Is that really what you think about yourself, Zuko? Is that really what you think about me? That you're some sort of consolation prize for me while I'm pining after my dream girl? That I'm just dating you because I'm bored?""Mai, I didn't mean that, I just-""Just what? What do you want from me? Ty Lee's my soulmate, but I'm over that. It just didn't work out. She didn't throw anything away, she doesn't want that kind of relationship and I'm fine with that! I like you, and I don't care what anyone else thinks, or I try not to. You're one of the only people I do care about, Zuko. I get that you're jealous of the whole soulmate deal or whatever, but don't take it out on her. Just talk to me."Zuko stared. It was possibly the longest he'd ever heard her speak. When his voice came back, all he could think to say was: "I'm not jealous."Mai looked at him."Okay, fine, maybe I am a little jealous. But it's impossible not to be!" Zuko heard his voice rising again and fought to control it."Well, I'm glad you told me. We can work on it. I have to go now.""Is this about me?""No, I just should probably be heading back. My parents will yell at me if I'm not home soon."Zuko nodded. He grabbed her coat and handed it to her. "Can I walk you home?""No, I'll be fine."That stung, but Zuko tried not to show it. "Fine.""I'll see you later. Don't do anything too dangerous."He tried for a smile and walked her to the door. An idea was forming in his brain, something he wanted to do and was afraid to do. Something that would show Mai he wasn't ashamed of their relationship. That he could handle everything that came with it.When he called her the next night, he was absolutely sure. "I want to tell my dad." ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Silence.Zuko waited a few seconds. Then a few more. He was starting to wonder if he'd accidentally disconnected the phone when she spoke up."What?""I want to tell my dad," Zuko repeated, already feeling defensive again. "You know, about . . . us.""Why do you want to do that? I thought you said he'd hate it. Zuko, if this is about that argument we had, you don't have to do this just because--""I want to!" Zuko said. Why didn't she get it? "You told your parents. If you can do it, I can too. Azula knows, and she might use it against me any second. I'd rather do it myself.""That's . . . sweet." He couldn't tell if she was being sarcastic or not. "Thank you. Are you sure?""Yeah, of course! Why wouldn't I be?" Annoyance pricked at the edges of his brain."No reason. I just--I want you to be safe.""My dad's not going to hurt me," Zuko said, forcing a laugh into his voice. Again, he thought. "It'll be fine, Mai. He's in a good mood, one of his business deals worked out or something, it'll be fine. Maybe he'll take it well.""Okay, if you're sure. Let me know how it goes.""I will." He ended the call.A week later, Zuko showed up at Mai's place and rang the doorbell. Mai's mother answered. "Oh, hello, Zuko. What a . . . pleasure to see you again! Are you here for Mai? I've always said she should spend more time out of her room with nice boys like you.""Yeah, actually. Can you get here down here?"Mai came down the stairs a moment later. She wore dark makeup with black fingerless gloves, and her dress looked like a cross between a red kimono and a pair of overalls. She smiled at him, a question in her eyes. "Hey. Nice to see you. Why didn't you call?"Zuko jammed his hands in his pockets. "Sorry. I would've, but my dad took away my phone." He avoided her gaze. "Um, balcony?""Mom?""Sure, honey, go right ahead. I've always said lots of fresh air is good for you. I'll watch Tom-Tom. You kids have fun!" Michi gave a little wave and darted out of the room.Mai pulled him up the stairs, her thin fingers cold on his wrist. "Come on, let's get away from my family." She gave him another smile, and Zuko let himself smile back. They sat on deck chairs overlooking the street. Mai locked the fancy glass doors behind them and looked at him expectantly. Waiting."What is it with us and balconies?" Zuko wondered aloud.His girlfriend rolled her eyes. "That's the first thing you say to me when we're finally alone?""I'm just saying. We spend lots of time on them.""They're private, I guess. Now, tell me what happened with your dad. Did he say anything?"Something about her tone rubbed him the wrong way. "Of course he said something. Why wouldn't he say anything after I said something to him?""You know what I mean, Zuko. Answer the question."His hand went to the back of his neck again. Rubbing against that stupid ever-present mark. "He looked . . . really calm. For most of it. I probably shouldn't have told him the way I did, it was kind of a bombshell, I should've eased into it, I didn't do it right, I--""Zuko." Mai put her hand on his knee. He hadn't realized he was shaking. "Slow down." Her touch felt like an ice cube drawing all the heat out of a wound.He took a deep, shuddering breath. "Okay. I'm okay.""You don't have to talk about it if--""It's fine!" Zuko said, louder than he meant to. "It's fine." He dug his nails into his thighs, trying to steady himself. "I told him I was seeing someone and he asked who. He didn't sound angry. I told him about you, and then he got quiet for a minute. And he said . . ." Gritting his teeth, he put as much effort as he could into finishing the sentence. "He said to get away from him. Get out of his sight before I messed up even more. Said I shouldn't even be thinking about dating another nonmate. I said I was sorry, so he grounded me and took away my phone." A weak shrug followed. "I guess he could've taken it better, but you know, he's my dad."Something hardened in Mai's expression. "Zuko, that's horrible. I can't believe he did that when you told him the truth. You didn't mess up. It's not your fault. Besides, he didn't end up marrying his soulmate, right? Who's he to talk?"He managed a nod. "I wanted to say that, but he probably would've hit me. It wouldn't be respectful. He's my dad. Besides, their relationship didn't . . . didn't work out too well."Mai nodded back, subsiding into silence. She seemed to understand. "I'm sorry that happened." Her hand brushed against his cheek and Zuko finally turned to look at her fully. Something about the feeling of her skin on his drained all the tension out of his body, leaving him exhausted. "Can I kiss you?""I'd love that."They spent what felt like an eternity there just enjoying each other's presence. For Zuko, it was something new and uncertain, despite the fact that they'd been going out for almost a month. Liking Mai (or people in general) was almost completely foreign to him, a weird vulnerability that he still wasn't used to. It kind of unsettled him how much he actually cared about this girl, and how much he liked caring. "Mai! Come downstairs right now!" Michi pounded on the sliding door. "You can't stay up there forever. I've always said you have to start contributing to this family, you can't just sit around up here with your boyfriend!"Just like that, the moment was shattered. Sighing, Mai stood and helped pull Zuko to his feet. "Thanks for coming. I'm glad you did . . . what you did. It was probably hard for you." She kissed his cheek."No big deal." But it was, and both of them knew it. "Hey, are you free next Saturday?""Yeah, why?""Nothing, I just wanted to surprise you.""As if you haven't given me plenty of surprises already." She smiled slightly. "Come on, let's go, I don't think my mom will be patient with me for much longer."As exhausted as he felt, he forced out a laugh. "Yeah. Okay.""Okay." ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- "Are you sure this blindfold is necessary?""Absolutely! Do you need me to carry you? Is it too much?""Zuko, I'm fine," Mai said, swatting his hands away. "It's just a little . . . weird." She nearly tripped over a tree root, but managed to steady herself just in time. "This is really thick grass. Are we going where I think we are?""Shh, you'll ruin the surprise," Zuko said in lieu of an answer. He was kind of busy trying to make it to their destination without any casualties, as the hill was steeper than he remembered, and it was tough trying to navigate it with a blindfolded Mai in tow. "Okay, a little to the left . . ."They finally arrived on the crest of the hill, the big metal gates looming before them. "Alright, just stay there," Zuko told her.Mai stopped moving, folding her arms over her chest. Even while blindfolded she managed to look exasperated. "Zuko, I appreciate the gesture, but really--""No, no, wait, I got this." Zuko shoved at the gates, grunting a little with the effort. At last they swung open with an ear-splitting clang. "You can take off the blindfold now. Surprise, I guess?"Fingers fiddling with the ends for a moment, Mai finally got the cloth undone and let it drop to the ground. "You took me to the cemetery?""Yeah. My entire family is buried on the other side of that hill. Well, the parts of my family that are dead, anyway. I come here a few times every year with Uncle. I thought you might like to see it. And there's something else I want to show you, too." He took her hand, the other one drifting unconsciously to the back of his neck. "I realize that this is kind of depressing, but I thought you might appreciate the graveyard vibe. It goes with your whole thing."Mai frowned, her spare hand going to her hip. "I don't have a thing.""You totally have a thing.""Whatever. Just show me the stuff." She kissed him, an irrefutable counterargument."Right this way."He had to admit that leading her to their destination was a lot easier when she could see. They made good time, even though Mai's boots kept getting stuck on tree roots and Zuko kept tripping over his own feet trying to help her. Making their way down the hill, they hurried over to another, smaller hill. A cluster of gravestones sat at the base. The grass was neatly trimmed and each headstone was impressively tall."Actually, could you put the blindfold back on?" Zuko said sheepishly. He reclaimed his hand and scampered up the slope. "I've got another surprise for us both."Mai folded her arms over her chest. "No."So much for that. He sighed and reached behind the tree to remove the picnic basket. "I made us lunch. Actually, Uncle made us lunch, but I helped. A little. Well, I bought the tea bags before Uncle made us the tea. I stirred it a little, too."His girlfriend's stony expression slowly melted into something resembling a smile. She let out a quiet, velvety laugh, and Zuko was astonished to see her blushing. "A picnic. I suppose I should be surprised. That was very thoughtful of you. Even if the setting is . . . wow. So what's for lunch?"Kneeling, Zuko started to unpack the basket, spreading a white blanket on the ground. "It's jook. My dad doesn't really like this sort of thing, but Uncle likes exploring other cultures, especially food, so he's always giving me stuff like this without my dad knowing. And of course there's tea for us, too. Come on."Tentatively seating herself on the blanket, Mai sniffed the open thermos of soup. "It's nice. I've never had jook before. Anything else?"Zuko smiled. "I got your favorite. A big, fancy fruit tart with rose petals on top.""Oh, Zuko!" Mai looked into the basket, one of her rare smiles spreading across her face. "It looks great." She pulled off her shoes and tucked her knees neatly underneath her. "Could we move over a bit? My parents will kill me if I get grass stains on this dress. We have an image to maintain."Zuko nodded and helped her pull the blanket to the side. "Um . . . you wanna see the graves?" He took a sip of tea.Mai shrugged. "Sure, why not."As Mai watched, Zuko gave a mumbling overview of the parts of his family that had been buried in the cemetery. "And there's my granddad . . ." He pointed to a marble headstone a little taller than the rest. "Azulon, he's who Azula's named after . . . she never shuts up about it, too . . . and there's my cousin, Lu Ten. He's why I come here with Uncle so often. We usually bring flowers and stuff for him, but I was worried I might give too many of those to you instead." He reddened at the accidental admission. "Sorry, I shouldn't have said that.""No. No, it's fine. I'm glad you brought me here. I'm glad you trust me enough to show me this." She gently slipped her hand back into his. "Can we eat now?""Yeah, definitely."They ate in mostly quiet, their spoons occasionally clinking against the sides of their bowls. The day was bright and the shade was cool. Zuko refilled their teacups, hoping to god he'd gotten the right flavor. He sipped his, staring across the blanket at Mai. A bracelet of black marker flowers encircled both of her wrists, making her skin seem even paler and more fragile. "Is the tea okay?" He asked, fingers fidgeting. "It's great. Thank you for the food and everything. Guess you can be romantic, hm?" She kissed his cheek lightly. The quiet returned.Eventually, he broke the silence. "Hey," he said. "I want to tell you something."It took a moment for her to respond. "What is it, Zuko?""You asked about this a while ago, and I didn't tell you about it because, you know, we weren't dating and we'd only known each other for a few weeks and stuff, so I didn't want--""Zuko," Mai interrupted, sounding faintly annoyed. "Cut to the chase.""Right. Yeah." Zuko closed his eyes. He wasn't used to baring his soul. He had to resist the urge to call the whole thing off and get as far away from Mai as possible. "It's how I got my scar."Mai looked down. Her grip on his hand tightened. "Oh.""I mean, if you don't want to hear it--""It's fine," she said, trying her best to smile at him. "You can tell me anything. You know that, right?""Yeah, of course. Anyway, it was a while ago. My uncle and I were sitting in on one of my dad's business meetings, since Uncle's an important part of the company or whatever, and he got my dad to let me in. I wanted to see what it was like.""I thought your uncle ran the tea shop?""He does, he does," Zuko said hurriedly. "He doesn't really like what my dad's doing with the family business, but he's still got a lot of influence for some reason. So. I was there. My dad wasn't too happy with me because I'd just told him about Sokka a few weeks before, and I was technically grounded. He got really mad at me about that . . ."Those words were all it took for him to be there again. Fourteen-year-old him, biting his lip and looking down, even though he knew that would only make him look weak. And weakness is a crime in his house, just another excuse for his father to shout at him as Azula looks on in satisfaction and he wishes more than anything that his mother was here. Fourteen-year-old him, telling his father that he has something to tell him and Ozai telling him to go away. Fourteen-year-old him trembling ever so slightly and, for the first time in years, putting his foot down.He shuddered and pulled himself back into the present. "Sorry. Anyway. I was at the meeting, and I wasn't supposed to be talking.""Let me guess--you said something that got you in trouble." It was more of a statement than a guess. She knew him too well."Yeah. They were doing something I didn't agree with. Something--" The word wrong stuck in his throat. "My dad didn't want to do anything in front of all his business associates, so he waited until later to . . . to . . ." He was shaking. Why was he telling her this? Why should he tell anyone this? This was wrong, this was wrong, this was wrong. His father's voice echoed in his head. "He threw a candle at me.""What?" There was more emotion in that single word than in almost anything he'd ever heard her say. "Zuko, that's awful. Just for speaking your mind? Your dad is terrible!""No he's not, he's my dad!" Zuko said. One of her hands rested lightly on his shoulder, but he batted it away. "Stop. I don't know why I'm even telling you.""Because I care about you." After a second, Mai retracted both of her hands, staring into her lap. The silence stretched out, the picnic basket lying forgotten at their feet."It isn't fair," she said at last. "It isn't fair that everyone hates us because of this." She looked up. "I like girls, and guys. I really like you.""Same," Zuko said. He didn't know what else to say."It isn't fair," Mai repeated. "Everything sucks.""You're beautiful when you hate the world," Zuko told her. He rubbed his thumb gently against her wrist."I don't hate you.""I don't hate you too." ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- "Hey, guys, glad you could make it!"Zuko waved to a familiar pair of people from where he sat with Mai, beckoning the couple in the doorway over to join them. Sokka and Suki, laughing and shoving one another, slid into the Jasmine Dragon's leather booth across from Zuko and Mai. Sokka had an arm slung around his girlfriend, who giggled and ruffled his hair. "Good to see you, Zuko," Sokka said, reaching out a hand for a fist bump. When it wasn't reciprocated, he kept his hand out for an uncomfortably long amount of time, then retracted it with a shrug. "Thanks for inviting us," Suki said with a smile. She'd grown her hair out since the last time Zuko had seen her, and it was now long enough to brush against her chin, with the top layer gathered into a ponytail. Her posture had straightened out and she somehow carried herself with more confidence than he'd ever seen her display before. She wore a green turtleneck and a loose black skirt. "Your uncle has a really nice place, huh?""Oh yeah, it's pretty cool," Mai said. She slouched against the table, shoulders folding inward in her black sweater as if to protect herself, her gaze directed firmly at the table. Zuko squeezed her hand to comfort her. All she needed to do was make it through the next hour or so. Maybe she'd even enjoy it. "So, have you met Iroh before, Suki?""No, but Sokka has. He's told me a lot, haven't you?"Sokka laughed and bumped her shoulder. "I love Iroh. He's awesome, you'll love him too." He ruffled Suki's hair, which made her giggle, pushing him off playfully. As she did so, Zuko saw a script Sok peek out from the side of her neck. He gripped Mai's hand tighter."Yeah, about my uncle . . ." Zuko took a breath and tried for a smile, which he still wasn't quite used to. It was Mai's turn to squeeze his hand. "I'm actually going to move in with him next year, when I turn 18. He's helped me figure out a lot, and I think living with him would be better than . . . than living with my dad."It had been Mai who had suggested the idea of living with Iroh, and they hadn't really told anyone else yet, especially Azula or Ozai. "Think of this as a test run," Mai had said, with one of her rare smiles. "And . . . I can come with you, if you want. My mom's been saying that I should get out more. And talk to people. And stop acting depressed all the time." Now they were here, Sokka and Suki were here, and Zuko waited with bated breath for their reaction."Zuko, that's great!" Sokka's face split into a wide grin and he leaned over to knock his fist against Zuko's shoulder. "You could use that. No offense, but your dad kind of sucks.""No, he's--" Zuko bit back the near-involuntary response. "Yeah. Pretty much the worst father in the history of fathers." He forced a grin as Sokka and Suki laughed. Even Mai cracked a smile. "I've been thinking about college, too. Well, I'm thinking about taking a gap year before college. Try to figure myself out a little. Work on martial arts, and tea." He felt himself relax as he said it, noticing the others' startled expressions shifting to something almost like gladness.As if he'd been summoned by the word "tea", Iroh hurried out of the kitchen to greet them. "Hello! It's so nice to see all of you again. Welcome to the shop. What can I get you? Zuko, want to enjoy a cup of calming jasmine tea?"Zuko laughed. They placed their orders (with a small delay due to bickering among Sokka and Suki that rapidly devolved into a poking contest), and Iroh disappeared again, promising to return shortly. He left an awkward silence in his wake as the argument finally died down."Um . . ." Zuko latched onto the first topic that came to his mind. "How's, uh, how's Katara doing?" He could never forget Sokka's younger sister's name; after all, it was tattooed onto the back of his neck. Sokka smirked at him. "Aw, she's fine. She's Katara: annoying, but fine. Actually, she's been getting into tai chi, and she's pretty good at it. Just don't tell her I said that." He laughed, nearly spilling tea all over himself. "There's this kid in her class who's supposedly some sorta whiz kid prodigy at all that martial arts shit, but they're friends and she can even kick his ass now."A smile crept onto Mai's face as she made a show of inspecting her nails. "Your sister sounds interesting. Maybe you can introduce me to her sometime.""Can do!" Sokka turned the smirk on Mai, then elbowed Zuko. "Zuko, your girlfriend's cool," he said in a mock-whispered. "How do I get her to talk more?"Zuko and Mai both stiffened. Mai's smile disappeared, fingers tightening around her teacup. "Sorry I'm not exciting enough for you," she muttered. Her eyes remained fixed on the surface of the table. "I was under the impression that this would be 'fun'.""Hey, what'd I say?" Sokka looked confused.Suki smacked him on the arm. "Sorry about him, and if we've been insensitive. We just . . . haven't seen you two in a while. We want to catch up. That is why you invited us here, right?" She looked over at Zuko hopefully, then turned to Mai in a transparent attempt to change the subject. "So, Mai, are you still doing karate?"For a few seconds, Mai couldn't seem to remember how to talk. Her hand felt even icier than usual in his. "No," she said eventually. "My mom says there isn't much point in it anymore. I can't be getting into trouble, since we have my father's political career to think about."" . . . Oh." Suki glanced away and started fiddling with her hair. "I am. My trainer says he has an opening for a job as his assistant, so I'll be in town all summer teaching martial arts. I'd love to have you there sometime." "My dad's coming home this summer," Sokka chimed in. "I've been wanting to introduce him to Suki. Y'know, so he can meet my soulmate."Zuko's eyes flickered down to the table. "Yeah," he managed."He's in the military," Sokka continued, oblivious. "My dad, I mean. Which I guess you already knew. Well, Mai probably didn't, but you did, Zuko. Probably. I mean, you might've forgotten by now, but . . . well . . . uh . . . I'll shut up now." "That's . . . good," Zuko said, then blinked. "Wait! I meant your dad coming back, not you shutting up! I mean, not that your talking was amazing, but . . . I'm sorry, I don't know how to . . . talk to people?" He fought the urge to slam his head on the table as his face heated up.The good thing about this particular faux pas was that it successfully shattered the tension. Sokka and Suki both burst out laughing, Mai leaned into him and let out one of those adorable velvety chuckles of hers, and the temperature of Zuko's face eventually cooled off. "That . . . that's rough, buddy," Sokka managed, swiping tears out of his eyes, which set them all off again. They spent the next few minutes talking about nothing important, laughing, and drinking tea. Mai looked slightly more animated by the end of it, and her grip on his hand relaxed. Silently, Zuko thanked her for that. She just had to make it through the rest of the outing and they were home free."Well, it was nice to see you both," Suki said, smiling as she stood and brushed herself off. "I hope we can do this again sometime.""Of course," Zuko said. He really did, now."Of course," Mai echoed. As soon as the door swung shut behind the happy couple, she slumped against Zuko as if all the air had been let out of her and exhaled softly. "I need a drink.""Mai!" Zuko exclaimed, shocked, and immediately wished he could take it back. Neither of them had consumed alcohol in over a month, despite Azula's prompting, but he could understand why his girlfriend might want some now. Seeing Sokka and Suki again had been complicated, to say the least. Sometimes some good old-fashioned inebriation was a good thing. "Sorry. Hey, I'm proud of you." He gave her hand another squeeze.She looked up at him, eyes half shut. "What for?""For making it through all that. I know it's hard for you.""Thank you." The words were barely audible, yet they sent a thrill down his spine. "I know I shouldn't be this way, it's just--they're so damn happy. I hate that I can't be like that."Zuko closed his eyes. How many times had those words come out of his mouth: "I shouldn't be this way", "I hate that I can't be like that"? Hearing them from Mai . . . well, it wasn't right. She didn't deserve to feel that way. It had taken him years to realize that maybe he didn't deserve to feel that way, either.On impulse, he pressed a quick kiss to the top of her head. "You don't need to be like that. You're you, and Mai, you're . . . amazing.""Guess I'm buying into the 'happy soulmate' bullshit, huh?" Mai muttered. "Maybe. But I think we're doing okay."
11281542	lespace dun matin	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": "F/F", "Characters": "Beast (Disney), Belle (Disney), Adam (Disney)", "Fandom": null, "Language": "English", "Rating": "General Audiences", "author": "by wavytossings", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-23T00:00:00", "words": "6,676", "Additional Tags": "Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, POV Second Person, Falling In Love, Fix-It of Sorts", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "Beast/Belle (Disney), Adam/Belle (Disney)", "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": "Beauty and the Beast (1991), Beauty and the Beast (2017), Beauty and the Beast - All Media Types", "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	What is beautiful is good, and who is good will soon be beautiful.[1] The day is ordinary. You are without your father, trying to work, and Gaston insists that you marry him.You could never do it, you know, even if Papa doesn’t mind the idea. But you--you’d sooner marry the baker’s daughter than eat a single meal with him. (Of course, you could never marry her either, but the thought, though she’s only ever listened wide-eyed to your talk of far-off places, feels somehow more right.)You fumble with the doorknob and an excuse, and find a grip on both at once, though it hardly matters. He falls through the door too quickly to hear you.When you feel certain he is gone, you step outside (for what else is there, in this town?) and settle into the grass.Alone, Philippe appears, still carrying your father’s invention. You unhitch it, search for some trace of Papa, but find nothing else. You know, then, that you must look for him, and mount Philippe with a certainty you’ve never dreamed of having. It is lost in the fog more easily than the moon and returns alongside it, illuminating the castle and steadying your breath.In the newfound light, you catch sight of your father’s hat, just inside the grounds. Gently, you push on the gate, and it seems to throw itself open with a force your touch could not explain. The door is less inviting. As you open it, its groans echo through the vast space, sounding almost like a voice (maybe more). You move up the grandest staircase and down the never-ending hallway, searching for someone, until a quiet creaking greets you.Surely, then, this is someone. You walk through the now-open door and ascend the staircase behind it. No person seems to have come before, but a strange green light reveals a row of cells. There--alone in the nearest one, Papa! You rush to him, grab his trembling hands, and speak. From the emptiness, a shadow catches your eye, and a woman calls out, her voice deep and distorted. (Is it by anger or the tower walls? Some impossible instinct tells you it is neither.) His voice clear but unsteady, your father begs you to run.Instead, you bargain with her, faceless, exchanging eternities. She sounds no older than you when her voice goes below a roar. Just beneath your horror, you feel something like curiosity. With newfound bravery, you command her to step into the light of a lone window above. The stranger complies.“You’ve come to gawk as well?” she asks, and you can hardly blame her; before you stands something huge and horrible. You want badly to call her someone, but your mind slips to monster with unsettling ease.“No,” you say, more certain than you dared hope. “You know why I’ve come.”“You’d stay for him?” she asks. You find the courage to meet her eyes, bright blue, the most human thing about her. They look as frightened as you feel.Papa pleads with you not to, and, for a moment, everything is silent.“You have my word.”The Beast drags him from the castle, words unfinished.You know what he would say, that he knows what you would say, but none of this matters. The Beast returns offering you a room, as though a mattress excuses her cruelty.You accept it anyway. You accept the room, a lifetime as her prisoner, and even the magic. You can’t accept not knowing the secrets of the West Wing.You tiptoe up the staircase that leads to it that night, wine from a dinner eaten half-alone still warming your throat. You feel already more at home than you expected. When a rush of inexplicable cold air hits you, you lean into it, drawn to its source. Your eyes fall on a painting. Like everything here, it's been damaged, so that the woman’s face is entirely obscured. Cautiously, you join the torn canvas together, but a brilliant pink glow pulls you away before you can study her.Its origin is a rose, too small for something so bright, contained in a bell jar. Lifting the jar, you reach your hand out to it. Without warning, the Beast’s enormous shadow creeps over you, and she rushes to cover the rose once more. She growls, startling you further, but you’ve taught yourself already to look at her eyes: anxious, guarded. (And, yes, still human, as the rest of her face becomes as warped as the girl’s.)You apologize a thousand times, suddenly aware of how like death the cold air smells, and her voice gets louder, less like your own.“Do you realize what you could have done?” she demands. You don't. Unanswered, she throws the one undamaged piece of furniture to the wall.By the time she orders you to leave, you’re halfway down the stairs. Even then, you can hear her destroying the room.You feel like someone else on your way from the castle, and Philippe must know it. Past the gates, into the forest, he goes forward uncertainly, then halts. Wolves encircle you, hungry, with eyes unlike the Beast’s, glinting empty yellow in the unnatural light of the snow. Desperately, you fight them off, until one is torn away by some figure in a maroon cloak.The Beast and her sickening strength, your savior, her blood staining the snow but the wolves all gone.(She would never find you if you left.)Your mouth forms the shape of the name she lacks. It settles on something else, unsatisfied. You say, “Can I help?”The Beast groans. Her permission? You can’t quite tell. You drape your cloak over her and offer a hand. Clumsily, she takes it. You both know that you cannot support her, and she anchors herself to a tree until you guide Philippe to her.(There is a moment, with the Beast so quiet on Philippe’s back, that you think she might be dead. You feel nothing resembling relief.)In the castle, she refuses to let you clean her wounds, lets out a roar that would have shaken you hours ago. Now, as everyone else jumps away from her, you lean forward.“It won’t hurt as much if you stay still,” you tell her.The Beast frowns, responds seconds too late to seem quick. A strange tenderness lies in your argument, one you’ve never known before. In a half-second of silence, you find that your faces are impossibly close.(You remember scraped knees that girls were never supposed to have, feeling afraid that they’d never stop bleeding.) “Hold still,” you tell her, and you press the rag against her arm. “It could sting.”She grimaces, but keeps her body still.“Thank you,” you say, once you’re sure that she’ll listen, “for saving my life.”Something about her softens, though she won’t look at you. “You’re welcome.”The bandage is still wrapped around her arm when you ask for her name.She looks at you, puzzled. "My name?"You nod, and she drops her eyes to the book Cogsworth brought to you."I'm the Beast," she says. "That's all.""You must have a name." A pause before she nods, just once, slow. Her voice is coarse and quiet when she says it: "Iphigénie[2].""Iphigénie?" You extend your hand to her. "Belle."Gently, she takes your hand in her paw. "Belle," she says. It’s the first time you’ve heard her use your name, though she’s known it from the first night. "It's, um, lovely to meet you."You draw your hand back toward the book, and, for a moment, an expression you can't recognize crosses her face. Just before it fades, you realize that it was a smile. You take her paw once more in your hand and guide it to the page before you. "Was this where we left off?” you ask her.You don’t think she looks at the page, but she nods all the same.In spite of yourself, you smile. "'No more be grieved at that which thou hast done[3]…'"Seventeen hours later, Iphigénie takes your hands and asks you to close your eyes. Her low, nervous voice echoes more than usual, wherever she’s taking you, and she lets go of your hands suddenly. A second later, the room fills with a light that goes pink behind your eyelids.“All right,” she says, and you feel her return to your side. “Open your eyes.”You do. Books stretch to the ceiling in impossible numbers, and in a room so filled with them, you can hardly find the words to thank her.“It’s yours,” she tells you, arms spread wide. Then, hastily, she adds, “If you like it, I mean.”“Oh! Iphigénie--” (Some new emotion flickers in her eyes when you say her name.) “Thank you so much!"You spend two weeks making a book for her in return. It's about love in unlikely places, about hope, and it barely resembles the stories you've spent your whole life loving. Strangely, it comforts you anyway.(You hope that it comforts her too; so much as mentioning Christmas seems to upset her lately.)And after trying all through dinner to speak, she invites you to the West Wing on Christmas Eve. An olive branch, an apology, or something. But you catch her with her paw hovering over the rose."Iphigénie?""Belle!" She jerks her paw back from the rose, covering it with the bell jar. (What was it she said, that could happen if you touched it? You had run too fast to hear.) "I wasn't expecting you!"Tentatively, you smile. "You invited me," you tell her.If Iphigénie had cheeks like yours, she would blush. Instead, she fumbles with her words and averts her gaze. "Oh, um, of course, I just--""I can go, if you'd like.""No," she says. "You can stay."Iphigénie gestures toward a single chair, half-covered by a tattered sheet. You take it, and she sits on the floor beside you. Even slouching, her horns are as high as your shoulders.Silence. You say, "The painting is gone.""Painting?" she asks, like she’s not sure what you mean. Still, her eyes linger on the place where it hung."You must remember it,” you say. “A girl with red hair. Was it yours?"You've surprised her. "Oh," she says, "um, yes--I mean, no, it was--""I didn't mean--" (You didn’t mean, Was it you? because it couldn’t possibly be her, no matter how much her eyes make you wonder.)"I know what you meant."Again, silence. You say, "Merry Christmas.""Is it?" she asks."It's Christmas Eve," you tell her.“I know that,” she says. "I mean, you think it's merry?""I'm trying to."“Oh,” she says, and a temporary kindness rests in her voice. For a moment, the two of you are quiet, and you watch the rose from the corner of your eye. A single petal falls, and new thorns grow from Iphigénie’s throat when she speaks. “You shouldn't bother,” she says, and it isn’t cruel anymore, just helpless.You cannot bear to face another unhappy silence. You say, “I made you a present.”“You did?” she asks. (Does some softness sneak back into her voice? Certainly it does to her eyes.)“Of course.”Iphigénie looks back to the rose, then drops her eyes. (You wonder unwillingly whether every beautiful thing fills her with shame. If you do.) She says, “I don’t have anything for you.”“You have the library,” you say. Unthinkingly, you place your hand on her arm.“Oh.” Your gesture has surprised you both, and Iphigénie is momentarily without reply. At last, she says, “That’s different. I’ll have something.” On Christmas day, she has firewood and a promise of something better. You give her the present anyway, and she unwraps it so gently it could be glass. Seeing what it is, her touch grows softer. (“Muthoplokon,” she murmurs, and you remember the word. Stolen, you know, from a book found accidentally in the hour just before dinner two nights ago. Does she remember what came before?)[4]“Thank you!” she says, and she reaches her arms out to you for a fraction of a second before drawing them back to herself, book still in hand.She’s still reading it three days later. (Silently, that is, and it hits you suddenly that she might not understand it the way you'd hoped she would.)You say, "I don't mean to forgive you."She looks up, asks, tender-voiced, "What do you mean?"You watch her eyes, unsure of whether you should have stayed quiet. Somehow, you no longer feel afraid of her. You say, "You're still keeping me prisoner here."“Oh.”"I can care for you.” You haven’t said it before, and she breathes another oh, quieter, when you do. (You wonder, had she heard it before?) Her blue eyes study your face, and you take a breath. "But I can't forgive you for that.""You gave your word," she says. For a moment, you have yourself convinced that you hear guilt in her voice.You say, "I know."Her mouth opens, and you brace yourself for the apology she could never mean. But she is too unlike anyone else for you to be right. She says instead, “Thank you, again, for the book.”Iphigénie doesn’t talk much about it, once she’s done, but you’re in the room with her when she finishes it, and her eyes search your face for an eternity. At last, she says your name, a question: “Belle?”(Do you ask her whether she liked it? Startled, you realize how much you want her to.) At last, you hum something back, a question.“I was-- Would you--? Would you want to go to the library?”You laugh, ask whether your book was so terrible that she wants to forget it.“No!” Iphigénie’s voice shakes the cups of tea you’ve emptied, and her eyes go wide. She lowers her voice, and you want to come closer, to hear her, but know that she would move away. “I mean, no. It was--wonderful, and I just-- I thought, maybe, since you wrote it, you might have read this book that I have, in the library.”“Oh?”She nods. “I haven’t read it, but Lumière-- I mean, I thought you could… read it with me?”So, you sit together at the table by the window, Romeo and Juliet between you, Iphigénie afraid to meet your eyes, until you hear her laugh, something quiet and short, and you look to her unthinkingly. Before she can apologize, you laugh, too. Hers grows into something warm and deep, and your own into an unstoppable thing unexplained by Shakespeare. Without warning, a roar breaks into Iphigénie’s laugh. She flinches, looks to see whether you do the same, and furrows her brow when you don’t.No, you read the rest of the scene with unconcealed affection. Slowly, Iphigénie’s head sinks into her arms.And you’re there, in the library, when you think of an answer to her Christmas Day question. "I know what you can give me," you tell her. She looks up from the poem she’s been reading. (François de Malherbe[5]. Has anyone ever read of death with such fondness? Iphigénie is smiling even before her eyes meet yours.) "You do?"You nod. "I heard you had a ballroom," you say, "on my first night here."“It’s nothing special,” she says, though you’re certain that it is. “It's--I haven't used it for years, but you--” Iphigénie’s voice seems unable to support such excitement, and she takes a moment before she continues. “You'd like a ball?"The answer, of course, is yes, but you realize too late how much you’re asking. You say, "If you would."“I would,” she says, and you see her smile without ever questioning what it is.She talks anxiously with Cogsworth the moment the door shuts behind you. (Possibly, you were mistaken. You had never asked if she’d want to dance with a girl. With you.)When you finally ask, she swears that she would, but her breath shakes (your name, whispered) when she sees you on that staircase, her huge arm unsteady when you reach for it, blue-sleeved.You walk toward the dining room you haven’t used since your first night, with the table so long you could never quite imagine an end to it, except that it is where Iphigénie sits now. Miles away from you, she takes a spoonful--a spoonful!--of soup, and you ask her to dance.She takes your outstretched arm and follows you to the ballroom, sparkling and warm and--you’re certain she must know it--a kind of romantic you’ve only ever read about. Uncertainly, she takes your right hand, and you pull her arm around your waist. Then, with some sweeping motion you are dancing together, and it’s a feeling unlike anything you’ve imagined. You rest your head against her chest, feel her heartbeat and something waiting to be said, the way her whole body moves with her smile.And she leads you, when the music slows, to the balcony shared with the West Wing. Is this when she will say it, the thing that has been waiting? She moves suddenly closer to you, says your name, and you look up, smiling.Gently, Iphigénie asks, “Are you happy here with me?”Something you were not expecting. You say, “Yes.” (You can hardly remember being so happy, even with--)“What is it?”You tell her, the thought that filled you with guilt the moment you had it. Just one more time, you would like to see your father. And Iphigénie says that you can. You follow her into the West Wing, both your hands in her paws, as if you’re still dancing. From just beside the two-petaled rose, Iphigénie places a silver mirror in your hands and tells you it can show you anything.Hesitantly, you ask to see him, and, in a burst of green light, your father appears, stumbling and sick. Iphigénie’s paw curls around the top of the bell jar, and she turns away from you. Quietly she says, “You must go to him.”“Iphigénie?” you ask, for she could not possibly mean what you think she does. “What did you say?”“I release you,” she says, and there is no uncertainty in it. She reaches for you for the last time, reaches for you knowing that it is. Just before her paw can touch your face, she pulls it away. Time forces you to find a goodbye. From the part of yourself still dancing with her, you settle on one, even manage to laugh. “‘Oh how badly things have turned out for us,’” you say, knowing that she will know[6], and you thank her.Iphigénie laughs the same way you do (but deeper, less shaky), and says, “‘Go and remember me,’” with the mirror pressed into your hands.You do not see her after taking off your gown; you have said all that you can bear to.The woods seem smaller, now, and you find your father more easily than you dared hope, just off the path Philippe took you on. Disoriented, he does not question your presence until you are already safely inside. Regardless, you are without explanation. What was it, that could have told her to let you go? You say all you know: that she’s changed somehow, and that you have too, and--Chip falls out onto the mirror, and a pounding at the door drowns out his voice. When you open the door, a sallow-faced man greets you with a grin, then steps aside. Behind him, the asylum’s carriage waits, and for a moment, you feel certain that it is for you. But your father is swept away still begging for someone to recognize the thing that only you know: The Beast is real.Gaston knows that he can fix this, and you know that he can too, but you know also what he wants. (Why had a lifetime with the Beast seemed so much easier, before you even knew her name?) Horrified, confused, you run back to the house. There, the mirror glints, your only proof that she exists.You weave through the crowd, finding the one space you can be seen, in the center of it all. The eye of the storm. You shout at them all to listen, and every face turns to you.With their attention, you command her image to the mirror, and it comes forth in a flash of green. Iphigénie’s roar pierces the crowd, shaking the handle of the mirror. You rush forward to answer the question they have already decided: “Is it dangerous?”(It. How long has it been since she became Iphigénie?) You insist that she’s safe, that she’s kinder than she looks, kinder than anyone, but Gaston’s voice cuts through it all.And so it does when you hear it again, following the mob he’s gathered. The mob that wants to kill her. They’re gone, when you finally catch up, but his words (Is it love that you hear him say, utterly repulsed?) move your eyes to the roof of the castle. Gaston hovers over Iphigénie, ready to strike, and you scream for him to stop. Your words do nothing to him; he swings for Iphigénie, barely missing her as she stands. You race to the balcony outside the West Wing, then see her, still on the roof, Gaston thrown aside. You call for her, and she turns, surprised by the sound of her own name.“Belle!” Iphigénie is beaming, for that minute, as she scales the roof, up to the balcony where you stand. She reaches for your hand, and you feel certain in some happy ending waiting for you.Then, it’s Gaston, driving a knife into her side, so that she nearly topples over. Miraculously, you pull Iphigénie onto the balcony, and she lies down.“You came back,” she murmurs, and you realize suddenly what she must have thought.“Of course! I couldn’t--” (Couldn't leave her, you mean, and your heart pounds. Increasingly, you suspect she will leave you, and soon.)Iphigénie reaches for your face, paw stumbling like your words. Somehow, it feels comforting, though you're certain that nothing good is coming. Her expression is quickly fading, and you remember the thousand terrible things you once thought of her.She searches for something to say (wanting more to console you than survive), fumbles with the Malherbe she’d been reading, and settles on the worst thing: “It’s better,” she says, “like this,” and her paw drops from your face.She is far closer to death than she ever was in the woods. You look again to her, and her head falls backward. What can you say to her now? You promise her a forever unlike the first, together, collapse onto her chest, plead for something you can’t place. “I love you,” you tell her at last. For a moment, you think you feel her breathe, and a light catches your eye.You move backward, giving her space. Iphigénie's body, obscured by light and cloth, rises, her paws becoming feet, and is drawn slowly to the ground. A human rises in her place, studies herself, then turns, facing you."Belle," she says. Her voice is familiar, but eerily smooth. "It's me."You reach out to find something about her you can recognize, the way her hair curled just barely at the ends, or the way her whole face would change with one touch or-- Her eyes! You hadn’t thought to find them in such a new face, but the woman has Iphigénie’s eyes. Anxious. Hopeful. The brightest blue."It is you!"She laughs, brings a hesitant hand to the side of your face.For years, you've thought about true love's kiss. You didn't think it would feel so strange. You knew about the magic, of course. That you would be enveloped by a ribbon of light, that your hair would flow like water behind you, and you would open your eyes to a world forever changed. Secretly, even, you knew that it could only be a girl.The only thing you didn't know, really, is this intangible, unnameable thing. It flickers from the point where your fingertips meet her face, some mesmerizing, dancing thing. And you think she feels it too.She's beautiful, anyway, Iphigénie. You know that it shouldn't matter, that you loved her before knowing that she could ever look like this, but she is, red-haired and broad-shouldered, with those unmistakable eyes, and when you stop kissing her, you find yourself unable to look away.She says, "You're staring."You turn to face the rest of the castle, vines growing rapidly before your eyes. "It's remarkable," you say. "I didn't think anything could grow here."Iphigénie makes a warm, humming sound from the back of her throat.You look to her once more, unable to stop yourself. You say, "You're very beautiful," because you know she must wonder, with you staring.She laughs. "I suppose.""Have you seen--?""My face?" she asks. Her voice is rougher now, and an uneasy finger runs along her lips. "It's been years.""I can't imagine.""Of course not," she says. "You've always been beautiful."For the first time, the word doesn’t feel like a counterweight to the rest of you. You drop your voice to imitate hers. "I suppose," you say.Again, she laughs, and her eyes dart suddenly elsewhere. You follow them. There are people racing toward you, you realize, and Iphigénie must know them, because she throws her arms around them easily when they arrive. There's something about them that you recognize, and you slowly work them out, Lumière and Cogsworth and Mrs. Potts.(All of them say that this is a miracle.)Lumière thanks you even, for reasons you don’t know. It isn’t the time to ask. Iphigénie lifts you just barely from the ground, laughing.She's clumsier, somehow, as a human, like she's forgotten how to move, collapsing into to you maybe three times as you’re dancing together. Her eyes always go wide when she does it, still afraid of hurting you. Every time, you promise her she won’t.If Papa knows about the two of you (you suspect that he does), he doesn't say anything. Instead, he tinkers with Cogsworth's pocket watch, perplexed more by this than your strange romance. Its hands continue to move with his human face rather than the passing of time, some magic that hasn't faded quite yet. "Positively wonderful," he murmurs, and Cogsworth eyes him with suspicion.Watching them, you feel Iphigénie’s arm draw you closer, her hand hold yours more tightly. (No racing heart, no lost breath, but a quiet pride, warm and secret and slow.) You realize how careful she was, before, that her paw only ever grazed your back uncertainly. You almost mention it to her, but you see her embarrassment and decide against it.Really, you don't say much of anything in the ballroom. You have questions, thousands of them, and you’re sure that she does, too, but neither of you dares speak them. For once, you’re content to wait for the answers.She only tells you about the curse after everyone is done celebrating, on a balcony unlike the balcony that existed in that same place hours ago. As she's searching your face with those same blue eyes, you laugh, or do something like it. You say, "I figured there was something.""Oh?" she asks. You watch her fingers trace her cheek. She's smirking, you think, but her hand covers too much of her face to be sure. "You've never met a beast before?""Just Gaston." The strength of his name surprises you, the way it thuds in your chest. The enchantment removed his body, somehow, but not your memory of it.Iphigénie drops her hand to the edge of the balcony and presses her lips together, a sad almost-smile."I'm sorry," you say. "I didn't think--""I know," she says, and her hand is as close to yours as it can be without touching. You close the gap, feel her flinch at your touch. Slowly, she laces your fingers together. “I never thought you--”(She wants to say, I never thought you could be like me, but is afraid of offending you. At least, you want to say this, but are afraid of offending her.)You ask her to continue, and she does. It ends the way you thought it would.Still, you say, “You didn’t?”Iphigénie shakes her head. “You were too...” She searches for the right word. You know that it will be beautiful, because the word is always beautiful, except that it isn’t this time. Iphigénie says, “Kind.”“Too kind?” you ask. It hadn’t occurred to you.“Look at me,” she says, then realizes that this is no longer enough. She isn’t the Beast anymore, just a girl, twenty-one and almost ordinary. She runs a hand through her hair, uncertain of how to go on. She settles on this: “Who I was before. I was terrible.”She was, but you can’t place the relationship between the two.Iphigénie watches you, unsure of how to continue, then says, “‘Marry, that “marry” is the very theme I came to talk of. Tell me, daughter Juliet--’”You know immediately what she means but wish still for new words from the book you’ve read together twice. They never come. You say, “‘How stands your disposition to be married?’”Iphigénie laughs the way she would in the early days, short and scared. “‘It is an honor that I dream not of.’”(Does she know how much you’ve done to avoid it yourself? You feel afraid of telling her.)“I’m sorry,” she says, voice shaky, meaning it, now, in the way you thought she never could.You force back the absolution your mouth begs to grant her; Iphigénie does not want it. You hesitate, then say, “Thank you.”On the second night, she invites you to the West Wing. Her hand--so strangely calloused--grips yours, and she leads you there, nervous laughter echoing up the staircase.Then, opened doors, her shaky breath, the West Wing revealed. Iphigénie steps aside. The room is transformed, healed, and without the luminous siren song of the enchanted rose. Even with unbroken furniture easily doubled, an emptiness hangs in the air. You reach for Iphigénie’s hand, guiding her forward to the painting that rests half-hidden on the floor, no longer torn. You bend down to reveal it, and her fingers curl in, some reflex to pull you away. Releasing her hand, you turn the portrait to face you.Instinctively, you reach out to touch the girl’s face, for it is Iphigénie’s strong jaw, her aquiline nose, her red hair, but it isn’t her. Her eyes are still blue, even, exactly the same, but hold the same frightened anger you remember from those weeks when she was a monster unnamed. It seems to transform everything about her.When you look back to Iphigénie, she can’t meet your eyes. You touch her real face, this time, and you recognize the gentle uncertainty in it.“Thank you,” you whisper, and she nods, stepping backward. (“You can go anywhere you wish,” you remember her saying, and realize that this is what she means now, no exceptions.)You walk forward, past Iphigénie, past the empty pedestal where the rose should be. Her bed is the only imperfect thing, unmade, with wrinkled sheets. (Had she slept as uneasily as you, last night?) You sit on the edge, and she joins you, cheeks pink.“How are you doing?” she asks. It’s the third time since this morning, and your answer is unchanged.“I’m overwhelmed,” you tell her. “How are you?”She thinks for a while, quiet. You’ve asked her as many time as she’s asked you, and her answer has yet to be the same. In this moment, she says, “Relieved.”It’s your favorite word yet.For an eternity, you sit together, and Iphigénie weaves your fingers together. She’s held your hands so many times, even after two days, that it has already lost the clumsiness that lingers in her walk, the hesitance in her kiss. If her instinct, before, was to hurt, it certainly now is to love.(Your father does not know how you broke the spell.)Iphigénie knows when you are thinking about this, says the one thing you are hoping she won’t: “I know how important he is to you.”Of course, this isn’t what you expect. But she means the thing you can’t bear to think, at least: that she had known yesterday that you did not love her. That she could go back to knowing it, if it would help.You refuse, but still, you do not tell your father anything more than you are certain he knows. You alternate meals with them, Iphigénie unwilling to face his questions and Papa unwilling to face her old self.And it is at dinner with Iphigénie when, absentmindedly, you ask, “What’s it like to be a princess?”Immediately, because she knows what you mean (that you could be one, too, someday, in secret), she blushes. "You don't have to stay.”You know this; the conversation happened days ago. You and your father were welcome in the castle as long as you wished. Iphigénie’s only condition was that the choice could not be hers.For the first time, you say, "Neither do you."She laughs, still-sharp canines glinting. "You're right.”Of course, only she could go utterly unrecognized into your village, though they’d find her stranger than you, with her distaste for dresses and small talk. You're both free, in theory, but remain bound by your peculiarity.Iphigénie reaches a hand to your hair, pushes it away from your face. "What are you thinking about?" she asks.Half-honestly, you say, "We should go somewhere.""Where?"(There are places, surely, where you can exist as you are, places outside of the castle’s deferential embrace.)“I don’t know,” you confess.Iphigénie pauses. Then, "We could go to the sea.""The sea?" (The asylum is by the sea, you know, but keep yourself from saying this.)"Or your village," she says. "They must miss you."You laugh. "They miss someone to talk about.""They remember you, then," she says, and her voice sounds different than you've grown used to in these weeks. Harsher, maybe. You thought it was a gift, to be forgotten. (“I’m sorry,” she says, and she means it.) Now, you wonder whether you broke the whole curse after all.Still, when the last, late spring snow falls, Iphigénie bolts from the castle and falls back into the thin snow. She spreads out her limbs and pulls them to her body, leaping up seconds later. Jubilant, she calls your name.Where she’d lain, a snow angel, scarcely different from the one you’d made beside her months ago. (How frightened of yourselves you both were, those afternoons.) Iphigénie crouches down toward it, not quite believing her new shape. With her long hair still covering her face, you throw a snowball at her already-wet back. She jolts, then looks to where you stand, laughing. She gathers the remaining snow in her palms and throws the snowball toward you.Easily, you dodge it. “You need to strategize,” you tell her, and she shrugs, settling back into the snow.You walk to the tree beside her, leaning against it, and she looks up at you. Fully stretched out, her head is barely as high as your hips. Iphigénie pushes her hair behind her ears and says, “Thank you.” You don't miss the Beast the way you thought you would in the beginning. You watch her spread out on wet grass unashamed of her imprint on it, see her relief when her laugh never turns to a roar. She's comfortable in a way you can hardly recognize, and you're glad for it.A Wednesday afternoon (the fifth one, maybe, just after the snow melts), she turns the pages of a new old book easily, fingers without claws, and looks to you with eager eyes. “Have you read this?” she asks.You settle in beside her, watch the sunlight catch the fine hairs of her arms, the deep, whitish scars that healed far better than you could ever have expected. “What is it?” you ask her.“Marlowe.” She nudges the book nearer to you. Where both deliberate, the love is slight: who ever loved, that loved not at first sight?Hero and Leander, the favorite of your nineteen-year-old self. “Incomplete?” you ask.Her cheeks, freckled suddenly by long days in the sun, go pink. Her confession comes out quiet: “I don’t know.”“Would you read it to me?”Already, she stumbles, still embarrassed. “I’m--I’m not very good.”But you like the sound of her voice, and you tell her so.Iphigénie laughs. “All right,” she says, and her hand strays naturally to yours. “‘It lies not in our power to love or hate…’”It’s the incomplete version, the original, and you’re done before the night forces you inside. When it finally does, you spend hours arguing amicably over lines of general insignificance.On her third cup of tea, she asks how you could read something you hate so much.“But I don’t hate it!” you tell her. “It’s wonderful. I just--stop laughing!”She covers her mouth, but her eyes are still gleaming.“I think it’s good to be critical, is all.”She hums. “I was going to find something else, tomorrow, if there’s anything you’ve been wanting to criticize.”“Surprise me.”She wakes you the next morning with a knock on your door and a book you’ve never heard of. Desperate for resolution, you tell her that you’re going home.You don't go with her. Even Papa stays in the castle. It's too soon for him to go back, and you understand why. None of Iphigénie's newfound certainty has spread to you, and you can't help but feel anxious when every other word you hear is your own name.The bookstore is the only place you don't mind it. You've taken books from the castle as repayment, and they're very nearly refused until you describe their contents, unlike anything either of you has ever read. He insists that he'll return them one day and accepts them with gleaming eyes.This is the last person from the village you speak to. You're back with Philippe before dark.Iphigénie greets you with an embrace tighter than you would have thought possible weeks ago. "How was it?" she asks.You hum, searching for the right word. Finally, you say, “Unchanged.”“That’s--?” (She wants something simple. Comforting or stifling or sad, but it’s all of these and none of them.)“I thought it could be different,” you say. “Without--everything.”She’s walking toward Papa’s room, you realize. They must have talked, finally, over lunch, maybe, and you feel a strange relief in the sudden change. She knocks.“Iphigénie!” he says. “Come in!”You look to her, confused. Iphigénie shrugs, like this is nothing, and pushes the door open. On the other side, your father is healthier even than this morning, delighted by your return.Somehow, he maintains Iphigénie’s optimism. (Were you not hurt the least, by your village? Had you invented your neighbors’ attack like the peephole beside your door, an experiment in imagination that only complicated your everyday life?)You can’t bring yourself to crush a second person’s hopes. You say, “It was better toward the end,” which isn’t a lie, and Papa knows better than to ask anything more than if he could join you for dinner.The day is ordinary. You are with everyone you love, eating together, and Iphigénie confesses that she understands how you feel about Marlowe.(That sometimes, she means, the most beautiful things can escape their fate.)
11260389	Jotaros good girl	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "F/M", "Characters": null, "Fandom": "ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 \| JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken \| JoJo's Bizarre Adventure", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Explicit", "author": "by MidnightTheCheetah", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-21T00:00:00", "words": "817", "Additional Tags": "Fuckshit, beastiality, Top Kujo Jotaro, Pornhub, No spesific time zone", "Relationship": "Kujo Jotaro/Dolphin", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	"Just one more show Olivia," Jotaro says as he pats your nose, his usually sharps eyes now soft with something that you can't quite pick up, but makes you feel funny on the inside. You answer back with some clicks that make him crack the smallest of smiles and stand up.Your last show quickly passes, you and Jotaro worked in unison to put on a show that left most people giddy and cheerful, with a few kids wanting to go up to you to pet you. Their parents have to pull them away before they get too close, with Jotaro now cleaning up the water and mess of whatever else had come up from the show. Once he finishes cleaning up, the sun was now down and he looked very tired, you click to get his attention. His head raises ever so slightly ad he snaps out of his tired mind and goes over to give you a treat as always, but this time he doesn't have fish in his hand. He whistles and raises his arm up before swinging it down, you obey and beach yourself on the shallow end of the aquarium, on your back, completely exposed. Jotaro gets a slight blush on his face that's hard to miss in the light as he then walks past your head, then your belly, before stopping right where your belly ends, right next to what humans call a pussy. You whistle in confusion but Jotaro cuts you off "shh...stay still."Jotaro swings his leg over your tail and scoots up to your "pussy" and rests right below it. You let out some air through your blowhole in arousal as he starts grinding his entire hand over your "pussy" while his other hand frees his hard on from his now soaked pants. He then replaces his hand with his entire fat cock, groaning as he ruts his hips against you. You click at him in a begging tone and thump your tail against the shallow water, getting you a small nod of understanding from Jotaro.Jotaro places his hands on each side of your body and places his feet on the face of your tail, he then practically lays on you, his cock slipping in easily. You squeal and cluck with happiness but you aren't completely satisfied, he isn't as big as you'd wish for him to be but he was a smaller creature so you were happy knowing he was inside. He shushed you with some paps as he quickly thrusts in and out of you roughly, groaning in a low, needy tone and slowly speeding up.Jotaro hisses as he closes his eyes shut tight, loving every bit of this, your warmth, how wet you are, and how exotic this is to him sets his body aflame. His whole body red from arousal as he pounds into you, his nails scratch at your blubber as he bites his bottom lip. Just as you click at him to see if he is alright, he hilts himself inside, his head buried into your stomach as he cums, his thighs shivering from the intensity. "Good girl Olivia, now to treat you" he mutters more to himself as he pulls out of you and sits back upright, he then bites his lip again as he looks up at you. You squeal a bit to him for him to finish the job, to treat you for this, so he looks back down at your warm entrance and slowly makes his open palm into a fist. Jotaro then slowly sinks his fist down into you and then slowly back up once he was elbow deep, making you squeal a lot more and wack your tail on instinct. Jotaro shushed you more urgently as he looks around, not wanting to get caught as he thrusts him fist back into you, filling you up past your wildest dreams. You resort to clicks to show how much you love his fist as you try to calm down your tail. Jotaro smirks ever so slightly seeing how much you're enjoying yourself and moves a whole lot faster, and in that instant, when his arm moves at a certain angle, you cum. You tighten around his forearm and squeak and click very loudly as you cum all over his arm.Before you gave time to relax and gather yourself Jotaro gets off of you and gets you back into the water. You feel relieved that the weight was now off of your back, and how satisfied you feel, so you give Jotaro some thankful clicks as he feeds you your dinner.Jotaro soon walks off and goes to the changing room, only to find Polnareff, on his computer, uploading a video of you with Jotaro on Pornhub. Jotaro then proceeds to beat the shit out of Polnareff and the camera he used to record Jotaro.
11226867	Cosmerde	{ "Archive Warning": null, "Category": null, "Characters": null, "Fandom": null, "Language": "English", "Rating": "Not Rated", "author": "by Storycollector", "chapters": "2/2", "completed": "2017-07-26", "published": "2017-06-17T00:00:00", "words": "142", "Additional Tags": "Jokes, Fandom, puns, for lulz", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": "Cosmere - Brandon Sanderson, Mistborn - Brandon Sanderson, Stormlight Archive - Brandon Sanderson, Warbreaker - Brandon Sanderson, Elantris - Brandon Sanderson", "Archive Warnings": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply", "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	What is Kelsier’s favorite mythological animal?A kelpsie.~~Behoid my Wit~~How do you call an adolescent kandra?TeenSoon~*~(from 17th Shard a thread full of puns, talking about the stick)Kelsier should find it and take it because he, too, likes to stick around. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- 1) On Roshar all music is rock. (By witblessed)2) On Scadrial all music is heavy metal (by madeinthecosmere)3) On Threnody there is no music, there is only Silence. (by guilt-ferrets-are-bastards)4) It’s all better than First of the Sun. I swear the music there sounds like squawking birds. (by libraryofawesomeness) 5) Well, all the Mai Pon on Sel have is soul. (by jonathanpdallas)6) Then there is Ashyn with all its sick beats. (adayinwriterslife aka me)7) I don’t know what the music on Nalthis is called but it’ll leave you breathless. (by nicroburst)
11267547	An Explanation	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "Gen", "Characters": "Sherlock Holmes, Joan Watson (Elementary)", "Fandom": "Elementary (TV)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by crescent_gaia", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-07-11T00:00:00", "words": "1,507", "Additional Tags": "Friendship, Post Season 5, spoilers and speculations", "Relationship": "Sherlock Holmes & Joan Watson (Elementary)", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": "Not Prime Time 2017", "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Nothing. Of course they couldn’t tell him anything, a doctor had to look at it, and they would call when the time was right. He, on the other hand, had his own doctor who probably was due for an explanation on what was happening. He had kept things from her for far too long, even though he didn’t want to think about how he was disappointing her. It hurt, far more than he cared to admit, that he let her down when she needed him the most. She’d be there, far more than any other friend had been in a very long time, so he simply asked for a copy of the MRI. It didn’t take long for them to get the image to him on a thumb drive and he made a follow up appointment. They tried to get him to stay, strongly encouraged, so they suspected something but were too cowardly to voice it. Instead, he made his way home, noting that the long term memory was still strong. After paying the cab driver, he got out and looked up at the Brownstone. Part of him hesitated as he held onto the railing of the stairs.“Sherlock, she would want to know,” his mother said. “Considering the state you left the place in, she might be trying to find you.”He glanced at her, knowing she wasn’t real, but the rational part of his mind talking to him. He made the way up the stairs and stopped himself as he reached for his keys. Instead, he took out his lock picks and undid the lock in his fastest time yet. There’s nothing wrong with my mind he thought as he closed the door behind him.“No, I’m not sure. I walked in and found the mess but I can’t find Sherlock,” Joan said. When there was no reply, he could tell she was on the phone. “I called different meeting places but…” she turned around and shook her head as she saw him. “Never mind, he just walked in. Thanks Marcus.” “I thought it would be best to explain myself,” he said. “Mostly for that but also why… why I’ve missed things lately.”“Alright,” she said.He sighed. “I’ve been forgetting things. Here and there. I’ve tried to hold onto it and make my mind rework itself, but I’m not getting anywhere. I’m also talking to my dead mother, so there’s that as well. Apparently, she’s the part of my mind that takes over and I forget things I’ve done. After… after thinking that she was stuck somewhere that was on fire, I went and got a MRI.”“Short term memory loss?”“Considering I can still remember how to get here and pick the door to get in, yeah, seems that way. Or it’s just a matter of time before that goes too.” He sat down. “I’ve got the thumb drive of the scan, if you want to see it, if only to verify my story.”She took a long look at him and sighed. “I’ll get some tea on first,” she said quietly.“Yeah,” he said, watching her leave the room. He wasn’t sure how long it had been but she was gently touching his shoulder and putting a cup of tea into his hands. She sat down next to him on the small couch, taking a sip of her tea, and being quiet.“You’re not saying anything.”“I’m mostly annoyed with myself that the first thing I jumped to was drug use and not that something was wrong,” she said. “I’m sorry.”“Shouldn’t be. I didn’t say that anything was wrong. If the positions were reversed, I would have thought the same thing. I’ll understand if you don’t want to stay though. I’m not sure what’s all involved or if it can be reversed or anything.”“Why would I want to go?” she asked, without skipping a beat. “You’re my friend. I’m going to get annoyed with you now and then, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care. And don’t think I’m going to just forgive you for missing the funeral. It’s not an excuse. You’ve got a big enough mind to leave a post-it note or something for yourself. You simply didn’t care.”“No, with that, it was half that I didn’t care and half that I forgot. I wanted to be there for you. You’ve been though a lot with me and I failed on something simple.”“You don’t do simple, Sherlock,” she said. “You’re not simple.”He nodded. “My offer still stands with the scan though.”“Later,” she said. “Leave it out for me. Right now, this is more than enough for me.”“Is it?” he asked. “It’s going to get worse.”“You don’t know that.”“They wouldn’t even give me a guess about what it might be but wanted me to stay in the hospital anyways,” he pointed out.She tilted her head as she heard that. “Give me the thumb drive.”He handed it over, watching her stand up and go over to the computer. He sighed as his phone buzzed and rolled his eyes as he saw it was a text from his father. He ignored it, for the moment, and got up to follow Joan. “Well?”“Hold on,” she said, putting the scans up on one screen to look at them all together. “Anything other than the hallucinations?”“Headache that comes and goes. Why?”“Because if it’s just hallucinations, then there’s the possibility that it’s not a tumor. Infections can cause them as well as low B12,” she said. “They took blood, right?”“Yes.”“Good,” she said, pulling up the scan that showed the temporal side of the brain, zooming in on different areas before zooming back out. She went to the occipital lobe and sighed. “Damn.”“You found it?”“Along with some lesions,” she said. “Probably from drug use, but they’re not growing. It’s small enough for them to take out, but it might aggravate and cause more lesions. I’ve got a friend I can call.”He decided to hold his tongue about how the last friend went and simply nodded. “Thank you.”“Thank you for not going with what you wanted to say,” she said. “I’ll give her a call. You hungry?”“No,” he said.She looked up at him. “When did you eat last?”“Yesterday.”“Well, I’ve got a lunch with Marcus. I’ll bring you back something?” she asked.“How is…” he took a breath as he tried to reach for the name of Marcus’ girlfriend. “Chantal.”“Healing but… it’s not good, relationship wise, for either of them right now. He needs someone to talk to.”He gave her a look.“It’s only talk, but thanks for thinking that,” she said.“Sorry.”“No you’re not,” she said as she got up. “Stand up straight for a moment.”“You’re going to make me regret telling you,” he said but did what she asked.She looked into his eyes, felt around his glands, and took his pulse. “Might be doing that more and more to make sure you’re okay.”He nodded. “Thank you. I don’t think any other of our friends, save for the Captain and Marcus, would be as worried.”“Do you want me to tell him?”He shook his head no. “Let me.”“Alright,” she said. “I’m going to put more water in the teapot and leave a note, just in case.”He sighed. “Sherlock.”“Fine.” He took a deep breath and went to sit back down on the couch. Time was becoming fluid again as he realized it was now dark and there was a blanket over him. He could hear Joan in the kitchen, so he got up and went to see. “Hey, you’re up. Your father called – no, I didn’t tell him – but he says that you need to call back or he’s going to come visit. Your other family called as well.”“That’s not wise of him, but I doubt I can stop him,” he said. “I lost time.”She stopped cooking and turned to look at him. “From when to when?”“You left and then now.”“Well, when I came back, you were asleep. I made you comfortable and you woke up twice before now. But you haven’t left here.”“How do you know?” he asked.She put down the spatula and took him out to the front hall, showing him a disc that blended into the ceiling if you weren’t looking hard at it. “I had installed before I left – Marcus had push back lunch anyhow – and it pings my cell phone whenever someone comes or goes.”“Oh. Thank you Watson.”She smiled and gently took his wrist, checking his pulse, before leading him into the kitchen. She had him sit down at the table and put a bowl of soup in front of him when it was done a bit later. He did slowly eat it, not sure if he liked the new normal, but was glad that he had his best friend to help him.
11298303	Shou Quan Fan Yi	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": null, "Fandom": "Star Trek RPF", "Language": "中文-普通话國語", "Rating": "Mature", "author": "by aLady", "chapters": "1/?", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-25T00:00:00", "words": "2,697", "Additional Tags": "Sugar Daddy, Infidelity, Angst, Translation, translation in chinese", "Relationship": "Chris Pine/Zachary Quinto", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Chris將手放在玻璃櫃台上一個好看的小玩意兒上。「我很抱歉，甜心，你的卡失效了。」沒有錯失節奏，他撇過頭向一旁的人說：「Papà。」一個又高又帥的男人出現在他身側，手上拿著張卡。他沉默，但他的深色眼瞳看向店員，看他膽敢拒絕這張卡。 Chris拿走他的包包。男人那宣示著所有權的手緊貼著他的背部，並引他出去外面。對著烈日的炫光，Zach戴上他的雷朋眼鏡。「你的卡出了什麼問題？」他伸出手，夾著那張惹麻煩的信用卡。「我想我是刷爆了。」「既然如此，我們必須辦張新的給你了，是吧？」Zach貪婪的笑容非常鮮明。 * 當他被操的時候，Chris的雙手抓著腳踝，以令他的雙腳維持在空中。 Zach結束後打了他屁股一掌。「起來，穿衣服。我們要離開了。」有個東西降落在他的胸膛。Chris往下一看，找到一張美國運通鉑金卡。「謝謝你，Papà。」 * Chris的工作簡單得可以：管好嘴巴，看起來漂亮，然後做任何他被命令的事。沒有人用這麼多的字來說明這些規矩，但當Zach交給他第一張卡的時候，他說：「我期望你百依百順。」 Chris微笑，以義大利語回答：「是，Papà。」今天是個輕鬆的一天。Papà為了「生意」出去幾個小時，留下Chris懶洋洋地泡在泳池裡。一如往常，Idris站在旁邊確保Chris的「需要」得到滿足。 Chris開始打瞌睡的時候，Idris接到一通電話。「Christopher，Quinto先生正在回來的路上。他希望他回來時你已整裝以待。」淋浴的時間足以沖掉他皮膚上的油。Chris讓自己的頭髮維持在乾燥狀態， Papà討厭他的頭髮是濕的。他滑入一件襯衫並且讓肌膚感到感到平整而光滑。他用了些東西在他的肌膚上，然後慢跑下樓。「寶貝，你聞起來香極了。」Zach用義大利文說，然後親吻Chris的兩側臉頰，並給了他一個滿意的細細觀瞧。「很不幸的，你在陽光下的一天必須截短。生意，你知道的。」在車內，Zach張開他的雙腿並解開他的腰帶。這是所有Chris需要的指令。他跪在Zach雙腿間，然後讓他的嘴開始工作。當他吸吮時，他聽到Zach用他的手機打字。幾分鐘後，他開始說話。「我正在路上……是……是……不，那就是我前往的原因……不，我告訴你——」 Zach陷入沉默而電話另一端的人就像是在背誦獨白。「不。」Zach再次開口，「那就是我要告訴你的，Mario，聽著。」他用他空著的手撫摸Chris的秀髮，就像在寵一隻小狗一樣。「那不夠好。我告訴你—— 」當他射出時他摸著Chris頭髮的手緊縮。他始終用義大利語來辱罵。 Chris吸吮，直到Zach再無東西能夠給予。當他的手掌丘推了Chris的額頭，Chris回座到他的旁邊。他在自己的口袋中拉出一條絲巾來清理Zach，然後用相同的絲巾擦拭自己的嘴角。「不。當我到達的時候我們會解決這事。」Zach結束通話。他盯著Chris然後用自己的褲子布料擦拭自己的手。「別再使用那個他媽的狗屎在你的頭髮上！」 * 在俱樂部裡，巨大的貝斯聲讓Chris幾乎聽不見自己。隨後，一個穿著清涼的女服務生領著Zach跟幾個合夥人進入位在樓座的VIP會客廳。Chris的眼睛掠過女孩沉重而快要彈出她穿著胸衣的胸部。 Zach抓到他的視線並猛然抓住他的手指：「眼睛。」 Chris強迫自己盯著不會讓他惹上更多麻煩的地板。當他們就座，Zach把自己的手放在Chris的大腿內側，很接近他的陰莖，能夠讓Chris感到他手心的熱，並且緊到令Chris不會忘記自己身在何處。一個不同的侍者——這次是個男孩——帶給他們一些酒。Chris拿到一杯水。 Zach舉起他的酒杯，令其他人也一起舉起酒杯。「歲歲有今朝。」然後他們一同飲盡。 Chris靜靜地盯著他的杯子瞧。另一個男人出現，他跟Zach握手並親吻對方的雙頰。「我的兄弟。生意如何？huh？你好嗎？」「生意如何？」Chris知道，這是Zach詢問為何利潤下降的方式。他曾經看過這些狀況幾次。Zach從未懼怕關閉一棟表現不家的建築。「生意嘛，呃，你知道的。」男人在他們週圍的空間中比劃著。「聽著……」Zach進入快槍式的義大利語，快到Chris聽不懂。 Chris玩弄著他的吸管並且想著，這並非第一次了，為何Zach帶他到像這樣的「任務」裡？當他在車上給予Zach性愛的釋放時，作出了如此的推斷：Zach透過展示自己擁有的男孩來炫耀自己的實力。「你有一週的時間。」Zach用英文說，將Chris從他的思緒中拉出。「Ma——」「一週。現在，在我改變主意之前滾出我的視線。」男人瞥了Chris一演然後快速從雅座中離開。滾到他的身邊，Chris用床單捲住自己的腹部。他單手撐著自己的頭，「你今晚真的要離開嗎？我們今天很難得擠出時間在一起。」 Zach打著領帶，通過鏡子對上他的目光，「我已經告訴過你了，她今晚在城裡。你知道規則的。我回去，上她，然後她就會回去義大利。你甚至不會發現我離開過。」穿好衣服，他掉頭，「別嘟嘴，我買了東西給你。」當Zach拿著一個綁著蝴蝶結的藍色蒂芬妮盒子靠近床鋪時，Chris振奮多了。他打開盒子，裡面裝著一個銀質環鍊手鍊。「噢！Papà。」用溫柔的手，Zach將手鍊從盒中取出，繫到Chris手上。他抬起Chris的下巴，親吻他。當他放開之後，他用大拇指揉弄Chris的下唇。「誰愛你，Christopher？」「你，Papà。」 * 然而Papà徹夜未歸。當他中餐時間仍然沒有回來，Chris選擇透過購物——在Idris過度監視的眼睛下——來讓自己開心。「你覺得怎麼樣？Idris？Papà會喜歡這一件嗎？」Chris轉過身來給男人一個全景，看他窄小的屁股上緊貼的衣料。一如以往，Idris給他相同的回答。「這很好，先生。」「Papà付你錢叫你這樣說。」皺了皺鼻子，Chris將試衣間的簾子拉上。當他擺脫泳褲時，他的電話響了。「日安，Papà。」即使裸身站在試衣間，他仍然維持著笑容。「Christopher，你在哪？」「買東西～」他慢聲慢氣地說，「我買了一件新的泳褲～」他回過頭看自己在鏡中的屁股。他真的需要一些時間把這裡曬黑。「你多快能夠回到家？」溫暖襲過Chris的腹部，他喜愛Papà提到房子的時候用「家」這個詞。「大概三十分鐘內。」「二十分鐘內。穿你那件泳褲。」「好的，Papà。」他對著自己微笑。Chris把手機放到旁邊並把自己幾回泳褲內。他拉上他的牛仔褲並讓標籤掛在他的腰帶上。當Chris拉開簾子時，Idris一如往常地站了起來。「Papà希望我們回家。」「我聽到了。」 Chris加了兩件泳衣在已經堆積如山的收銀檯上。「還有這個。」他調皮地把標籤從他穿在身上的泳褲上撕下來，交給收銀妹子，「請試著快一點，」他說話的同時拿出那張卡，「Papà正在等我們。」收銀妹笑了並加速結帳。 * 手提數袋，Chris衝進房子，「Papà，我們到家了！」 Zach從客廳那兒說，「上樓，Christopher，我很快就過去。」 Chris走向客廳，但一隻大手擋在他胸前，迫使他停下。「樓上。」那大塊頭說。聽話是更好的抉擇，Chris轉身上樓。知道Zach會想看到這些東西，所以他將購物袋都放在床上。當Zach進入房間時，他正在煩惱該不該把自己的牛仔褲褪下。「Papà！我正——」 Zach用一個粗糙的吻使他安靜下來。他舔著Chris的嘴好像要將他吃盡。「你穿著我買給你的新泳衣嗎？」Zach的手指在Chris的腰帶下爬行，捧住他的屁股。「是，Papà，我想要給你看我買了什麼。」那不作表態的聲音是Zach唯一的回應。他用Chris的肩膀將他旋轉，並把他推到床上。Chris的褲子被脫到了腳踝上，而Zach溫熱的氣息纏住Chris的屁股。「這是新的嗎？」「是，Papà。」Chris握緊壓在他身下的床被。「嗯。」Zach沿著Chris大腿的接縫查看，那兒Chris的陰莖跟陰囊都被緊緊包覆在衣料內。「很對我的胃口，我做了一樁好買賣。」手指掛在腰帶上，Zach放低他的內褲，剛好能夠讓它卡在Chris股間肉下。「拿走我的蛋糕並吃掉它。」「我不知道你在說什麼，但好。」 Zach的回答沒入Chris的屁股之中。他的鬍子有點搔人，但頂在他洞口的，溫熱的感覺還有光滑的舌頭足以令Chris感到興奮。他抬起他光裸的腳趾，努力想要獲得更多。Zach的雙手放在他的屁股上，以維持他的穩定。Chris的手移動到他的胯間，但Zach抓住他的手腕。「不行。」他說，「就這樣射或不射。」 Chris嗚咽。Papà總是讓性愛變成一個挑戰，各種方面在他的人生裡不曾見過。他花了比平常久的時間射進他的新泳褲，別無他依，單靠Zach的舌頭。Zach將衣料拉回去並拍拍Chris的屁股。「她發現你了。」「什麼？」仍在從高潮中緩解，Chris將自己的上身丟到床上。「我老婆。」Zach開始解開腰帶，「她發現了你，然後他給我下了最後通牒：你，或者是她。」就在他操縱Chris翻轉過來，Zach沒有再說什麼，而Chris太過害怕而不敢問。但當Zach操他的時候，幾千個問題閃過他的腦海。為何Papà告訴我這些？她是怎麼發現的？這是終點嗎？這是Papà道別的方式嗎？
11238213	a furlong of flight	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": null, "Characters": "Leonard \"Bones\" McCoy, James T. Kirk", "Fandom": "Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by tigrrmilk", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-18T00:00:00", "words": "3,545", "Additional Tags": "No Character Death, Board Games, Rain, So much talking, post-scarcity coffee, Kobayashi Maru, Academy Era", "Relationship": "James T. Kirk/Leonard \"Bones\" McCoy", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": "Gen, M/M", "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	there is no flying from my fate the die is cast the answer no a furlong of flight - rosie hood It’s Sunday. Which shouldn’t make that much of a difference to Leonard. Except he’s just woken up from a fitful night of sleep, which came directly after a fucking long double-shift at the clinic, and it’s raining outside like nothing he’s ever seen. He can’t help but feel gloomy about it. Sunday is meant to be for relaxing, and sitting around the table with the whole family.But all he’s got for company is the fucking rain.It’s too loud to even be relaxing. It sounds like the new espresso machine Jim bought for his dorm, which Leonard still thinks is a ploy to make him visit Jim more often. Right now it just makes him want some of his own coffee, but he’s somehow out. Fffffffffffffpffffpfffffff Leonard is not a gloomy person! He’s just realistic! But sometimes it’s hard not to be gloomy when it’s a Sunday in the middle of summer, your best friend has deserted you to spend the weekend playing some kind of strategy boardgame you could never hope to be able to understand, and it looks like you’ll die in a minor disaster at sea if you dare to set foot outside of your lonely, bare apartment building.Buckle up, he thinks, sourly. Replicate some coffee, and get to work. He’s got a research paper to finish and three lab reports that were due -- well, he’s not sure when they were due, but he’s pretty sure it’s long in the past, and that the only reason his supervisor hasn’t been chasing him to send them over is that he pities Leonard and his sad little life.There’s the gloominess again. He rubs a hand over his face and goes in search of replicated coffee. Right. So the thing is that Leonard wrote a paper for an elective class on post-scarcity economics -- he mostly took it to get out of having to take an intermediate flight class that Jim kept trying to trick the Starfleet computer system to sign him up for, since the classes were conveniently at the same time -- about replicated food and drink. The thing is, that Leonard knows that the idea that non-replicated coffee is any less good than “real” coffee is bogus. Sentimental, capitalist, outdated nonsense.“Espresso. Double. Black.” He hits himself on the forehead with the palm of his hand as the replicator rumbles to life, but gently.The thing is, Leonard knows logically that there is no difference. He wrote the paper and got a good grade because he did the research. He even tested it on Jim -- he swallows the espresso slightly too quickly as he remembers this, and coughs painfully as it goes the wrong way down. (It involved lots of food, and it had been meant to be a perfunctory research exercise but it had definitely not felt that way in the end).The thing is, if Leonard knows anything, he knows himself. And he knows that he is sentimental, that he still likes “real” coffee best. And he sort of hates it, but there’s no running away from that. He can’t make himself into someone better. God knows both he and Jocelyn tried.He grimaces as he drinks some more of the espresso and thinks about how stupid it is that the entirety of history has happened and everything has progressed so far from whether humanity began, and the world has spread itself out before him... just so it can pave the way for Leonard to drink a cup of magically replicated free coffee right at this moment. And he still has the audacity to think that he’d prefer a cup made with his own, home-roasted beans. He takes another gulp and turns back towards his desk. Ugh. Research paper. Right.It’s Sunday. He gets a paragraph further into writing his paper and he’s ready to throw his padd and his chair and everything else in his sad little room out the window. Where it will presumably drown.It’s still raining. Maybe that’s the reason for the hammering against his head/heart.He’s been studiously ignoring Jim’s messages, but the coffee hasn’t helped his headache any and he’s going to have to delete the writing he’s just done later on with Extreme Prejudice, so he gives in and pulls the messages up with a swipe of his left thumb. There are a few more than he expected, and the first few are from the night before: planning my moves for tomorrow diligently and you’re not even here to help are you proud, bones No, Leonard thinks, spitefully. He doesn’t know how to play Go, he’d be less use at it than Jim would be at assisting minor surgery. At least Jim has a vague idea of what a body looks like and where all its different parts are supposed to be. Or so Leonard’s heard.The messages trundle on, settling into almost-incoherence as Jim got either too tired or drunk to be awake (Leonard hopes for the first, although neither bodes particularly well for today’s tournament), and then there’s a break before today’s steady stream of interior-monologue-disguised-as-messages started up anew. Leonard resists the urge to send back sarcastic replies before he’s read them all. It’s more economical, more efficient, to load all his scorn into one riposte.Also, he likes Jim, and he likes reading messages from him. Mostly.don’t know why i didn’t think of this before but go is perfect training for the maru you’re old and set in your ways so think of it like this: it’s chess but really hard“Go fuck yourself,” Leonard says, out loud, like an idiot.Jim doesn’t elaborate further on how Go could help him with the Kobayashi Maru, he just starts to bitch about the quality of the tea they’re serving players in the dining hall which is hosting the tournament today. they’re not even using china cups. the cups are made out of PAPER. it’s insulting. i’m insulted. do you think they replicated stale tea on purpose to fuck with me? Leonard gives up on work and fills a thermos with coffee from the replicator. The rain... well, it’s still coming down. In sheets. No, more violent than that. It’s raining bottles and knives out there, from the noise it’s making. Leonard puts on his jacket and curses when he realises he doesn’t have an umbrella in this godforsaken dorm room. Nothing for it but to take it philosophically, he supposes. The only way out is through.---“Bones, I knew I could count on you for the goods,” Jim says, taking the offered flask with reverence. He takes a long gulp directly from the thermos - he’s going to burn himself doing that, and it’s certainly not Leonard’s fault - and sighs. “Proper coffee, at last.”Leonard doesn’t correct him. He collapses into a chair and takes in the scene. The hall is only half-full - Jim’s between games, and has apparently been practicing ludicrously complicated scenarios against himself. He recognises a handful of other people playing - Spock is beating someone who appears to be extremely young, Uhura has a notepad out and is drawing some diagrams, and a scientist Leonard thinks is called Sulu is slumped over in a chair at the other side of the room, presumably waiting for someone to finish. He looks bored out of his mind. Leonard sympathises.“I’m not helping,” he says. He pushes his damp hair off his forehead and sighs. It’s warm in here, but the air still feels wet. Humid. What he wouldn’t give for a few hot, dry days.“I thought you didn’t know the rules anyway,” Jim says, as he dashes some counters around the board and tilts his head to one side.“The Maru,” Leonard says.“You’re not making sense,” Jim says, as if anything about this entire situation makes sense. He looks at Leonard intensely for a half-second before he looks away again. “Of course you’re helping. I got you your pass -- no, merit, excuse me Bones -- in your shuttle piloting class. You owe me.”“I owed you before the last time we did it,” Leonard says, easily. “Kid, I owe you nothing.”Jim purses his lips and retraces his steps across the Go board with his fingers.The thing is, that Jim is a genius. Leonard’s no child psychologist, just a regular doctor, but he wonders if this is what always happens if you let a genius raise himself. Jim seems to have spent his youth learning how to fight, play chess, how to play Go, how to play a handful of random musical instruments, how to speak the six different languages spoken in his little town in Iowa... he’s proficient in basic theoretical rocket engineering, he can name all of the bones in the human ear, feet and hands, and in general he seems to have the manner of someone who has read a lot of books with little encouragement from anybody else. Jim has raised himself, and he’s raised himself to fix whatever problems he had. Can’t speak to the lady who lives across the road? Get her to teach you. Want to drive that abandoned care you’ve had your eye on for the past few weeks? Learn how to fix it up and drive.He’s exactly the kind of person who needs the Kobayashi Maru.No.Leonard thinks back to the first time they tried; the first time Jim failed. He thinks about it, hard - the look on Jim’s face when he realised they’d all died. Leonard looking up at him from beneath his eyelashes. The tiny moment -- when Jim realised he couldn’t save them. And thinking of that moment, Leonard revises that thought. No, Jim is the person the Kobayashi Maru was designed for.“So, Go is a much more complicated game than chess,” Jim says. He pours some of the coffee out into the flask’s lid and hands it to Leonard, who takes it with a small incline of his head in thanks. Jim goes back to swigging from the flask, like he’s Leonard on a bad flight and the flask is full of whisky, not replicated coffee. “It’s like...” he gestures with his hands. “It’s like, much bigger, wider in scope. A lot more variables, right?”Leonard doesn’t encourage him by answering. It doesn’t matter. Jim’s encouraging himself.“So it’s like - the Maru. It’s only a game, right? It’s just another scenario. It’s just another step up. I just need to catalogue all the variables and draw out the different moves...”“You know that won’t work,” Leonard says. A cadet with green skin and long pink hair is slowly making her way towards their corner of the room. Leonard tilts his head to one side, considering her. “It’s a death trap.”“You’re a death trap,” Jim says, with feeling, and he pushes the board away from him. A couple of the counters fall off and roll away on the floor, so when the woman reaches them he’s scrabbling around on the floor to pick them up.---Leonard only lasts half an hour into the most boring game he’s ever failed to follow before he gets up to leave. “Keep the flask,” he says. It’s not the good kind anyway. “See you around.” Jim catches up to him at the door, and scratches ruefully through his hair as he seems to be considering what to say.“I don’t have all day,” Leonard says, like an asshole.Jim rolls his eyes. “Really,” he says. “That’s why you brought me coffee. And stayed to watch me play a game that you know nothing about.”“I hate you,” Leonard says. “You’re a brat.” And what an asshole.Jim spreads his hands out, wordlessly. Like he’s saying, What?It’s still raining outside. Leonard pushes the door open anyway, which is how he and Jim find themselves standing under a big, fragrant tree which barely functions as shelter, but at least there’s nobody else around.“You know what the point of it is,” Leonard says. It’s not a question. Kirk’s a genius. If Leonard, who is at pains to remind the entire world he is just an ordinary, competent doctor, and not some kind of luminous terrifying space genius, understands the point...Although, maybe that’s key.“Everyone knows the point of it,” Jim says. “It’s boring.”“Sometimes you just have to let the patient die,” Leonard says. He’s not thinking of his father, who signed his DNR as soon as the diagnosis was confirmed, who Leonard did not kill but did not save, even though he probably could have. He pulls up his jacket sleeve and shows Jim a few small, pink scars on the inside of his elbow, where a patient crazed by some drugs he’d never heard of before had stabbed him with one of his own needles multiple times before Leonard had managed to sedate him. He’d kept the scars. “Sometimes you save them and it hurts,” he says, as way of explanation for it. “Sometimes you don’t, and that hurts too.”“I’m not a doctor,” Jim says, a small smile tugging at one side of his mouth.Leonard tilts his head towards the sky, and gets a face full of rain for his trouble.“Oof,” he says, and wipes at his eyes with his hands before Jim takes pity on him and hands him the packet of tissues he always keeps stowed somewhere in his uniform. Allergies: good for something.“I mean it, though,” Jim says. “It’s boring. I don’t mean...” and he waves at Leonard, who still hasn’t rolled his sleeve down. “But they keep trying to teach us about the moment that I don’t think can be taught. It’s not real.”He sighs, and Leonard can feel a drop of water running along his nose as he tries to nod along seriously, with a serious look on his face. My life is stupid.“So what? So what, you all die. I don’t accept that. That’s what their stupid simulation refuses to understand. I don’t accept that. So what? The first time we did it, you all died. What if this time you don’t? What if I can get you all back?”“Jim,” Leonard says, gently.“And I know it’s not a game! But it’s not fucking real. And fuck them for thinking they can teach me how it will really feel and that I won’t fight back. No; I refuse.”They’re both really wet now. Leonard kind of wants to remind Jim that he didn’t actually die, that he was just pretending, and that he wasn’t very good at it. But he thinks that’s a good way to get punched in the face.This isn’t really how he was expecting Sunday to go.“Bones,” Jim says.“What,” Bones says, wary as he’s ever been.“You’ve got to promise me that you won’t just die like that. When we’re in space.”“Who says I’m following you to space,” Bones says, by which he means, you’re an idiot and nobody can promise that. He doesn’t want to say it again. But the words repeat inside his head. Sometimes you just have to let the patient die. The thing is, he has trouble looking at Jim - Jim, who is standing in front of him, blond hair plastered to the top of his head and blue eyes dry as anything in the midst of all this rain, and that half-smile that looks so sad that he can’t stand it. He has trouble looking at Jim like this and believing that he doesn’t already know everything they’re trying to teach him.“I refuse,” Jim says. “And no matter what you say, you’re coming with me.”Leonard doesn’t know if he means into the Kobayashi Maru, or into space, or if he just means - life.They end up in Jim’s favourite off-campus bar that night, which is a fine first step. Leonard’s cocktail has a circle of salt around the rim and the drink is so, so sour. He pulls a face at it, involuntarily, just as Jim looks up at him and starts to laugh. “You looked like an old man,” Jim says, by way of explanation. “Just for a second. You’re back to you again now. Like I suddenly saw you in sixty years time.”“Yeah, well,” Leonard says, and wipes a fragment of salt from his lip. Jim is sprawled back against the bar, his hair curling where it was wet earlier. “You don’t know how young you are, kid.”Jim laughs, and won’t explain why until they’re on their way back to Leonard’s dorm (“closer to the bars,” Jim always says, except it’s really not). “You think you’re so old and wise,” Jim says, not meanly, and something about the tenderness of it cuts Leonard deep. “You’re not even thirty yet. Old man on campus.”“I hate that,” Leonard says. But he doesn’t. Jim leans heavily against him, even though he’s not particularly drunk. Not really. It’s not raining anymore, but it’s hot and damp outside, and Leonard doesn’t even bother inviting Jim in but he follows him up. They end up sitting on Leonard’s shitty, unmade bed, a big pot of green tea on the floor in front of them - “this is the good stuff, not like that replicated coffee you brought me earlier,” Jim says, even though Leonard did not tell him about that; Leonard is way too tired to enquire about how he worked it out - and a couple of mismatched mugs on the rug by it. It’s summer, and Leonard feels very young and very old.“Do you really ever learn to accept it?” Jim says, tipping his head onto Leonard’s shoulder. Leonard’s heart and head are both thumping again.“What?” Leonard says. He can think of a lot of things he’s had to learn to accept. Divorce, his father’s death. Terrible gifts from his Grandparents every Christmas. Docked marks for papers he wrote while hungover. His fear of flying. His fear of other things, too.“You know,” Jim says, and Leonard does know.“You learn to move past it,” Leonard says. “You can’t get stuck or you’ll let everyone else down too.” It could refer to a lot of things.Jim shakes his head. Leonard feels his hair tickling against his neck. “I’m not a doctor,” he says, again. “That’s not how it is for me.” In the years to come, Bones will see Jim accept different deaths of those under his command in different ways - some with dignity and grace, some with rage, and some with weeping. He will hear Jim swear and bang against the inside of his own ship in desperation - “I do not accept this, your death would be a gross insubordination, you get back here now, you hear me?” and he will hear Jim whisper, “please don’t leave me.”There will be the times - really mostly just the time - that Jim accepts his own death, which Leonard will do his best not to think about because he can't.Leonard will wake up in his own sickbay, and for a second he will think that he is alone, and then he will see that the captain has somehow slid from the uncomfortable visitor’s chair onto the floor. “Jim,” he’ll say, before he thinks better of it. And Jim will open his eyes, and he’ll say. “Bones, Bones, I was right. I didn’t accept it. I told you I didn’t accept it. Do you remember?”Bones will remember the taste of sour whiskey, and too much salt, and kissing Jim Kirk for the first time in his little, sad, single-occupant graduate student dorm room. And he will remember Jim saying, “What if I can get you all back?”“You did it for me first,” Jim will say, as if Leonard needs remembering. And Leonard will raise his eyes to heaven, which is a feat when you’re on a starship and frankly it will hurt more than just a little bit, but he won’t let on.“Yeah, yeah,” Leonard will say, and his throat will feel scratchy and sore but it will work. “I’m a lousy doctor, always was. I put up with too much of your shit, Jim.”But for now, they just sit still, pressed together, and feel the air pulse between them. And Jim says, one more time. “I won’t accept the loss. They can’t make me.”“I know,” Leonard says. It is not something he can bring himself to argue against any more than he has. He’s Jim’s friend, not his mentor. He’s a doctor, not a commanding officer. It’s far, far too hot to sleep. He can feel sweat on his back, and it’s not a nice sensation exactly but he doesn’t want to, can’t, won’t move. Jim’s always moving a million miles an hour; his mind, his mouth, his body. Right now Leonard has him here, and he can feel him breathing against him, the only movement in the air. “I might think you’re wrong,” Leonard says, which doesn’t mean he does think that. “But I know.”“You’re such an asshole,” Jim says. And he cups Leonard’s face with his hands.
11294061	you looked like you were	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Bakugou Katsuki, Midoriya Izuku", "Fandom": "僕のヒーローアカデミア \| Boku no Hero Academia \| My Hero Academia", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by masi", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-25T00:00:00", "words": "5,524", "Additional Tags": "Post-Canon", "Relationship": "Bakugou Katsuki & Midoriya Izuku", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Katsuki brushes snow off the “Beware: Mountain Troll Lives Here” sign in front of his cabin and then trudges back inside, satisfied. He has been living alone in a large cabin on Mt. Fuji for a month now, and it’s the best damn month he’s ever had in his life. He gets up whenever he wants, cooks whatever he wants, goes to bed whenever he wants. No one has visited him except for random hikers who wanted directions, but there’s been less of them knocking on his door after a tourist got angry at him for being unhelpful and put up that sign ten feet from his door. He kind of likes the sign. It sends a very clear message.He needs to send a very clear message to Kirishima and Deku too, Katsuki reflects every Saturday as he buys groceries and deletes a week’s accumulation of their text messages from his phone. Those two pestilences seem incapable of leaving him alone. He would throw his phone off the mountainside, but he has to call his mother at least once every two weeks and say “I’m still alive, Old Hag,” so that she won’t send the old man trekking up the mountain to check in on him. He only uses his quirk to light the firewood in his fireplace. In the evenings he sits with his fire and some quality sake and a quality dinner containing dishes spicy enough to make his eyes water. Life is too quiet lately, but it’s good. It’s all good.*On the first day of April, about 2.5 months since Katsuki started living on Mt. Fuji, Kirishima arrives. He comes with gifts. Groceries (i.e., various meats), hiking equipment, skiing equipment, and Deku’s memoir.When Katsuki tries to punt the book out the window and down the mountainside, Kirishima quickly grabs it.“Aw, come on,” Kirishima protests, smoothening the cover down. He puts the book on the kotatsu. “You can read it later. When you’re bored. It’s pretty good, you know.”“Or I can use it to keep my fire going.” Kirishima asks, “You mean, literally? Or in a metaphorical sense? Midoriya keeps the fire inside of you going, or something like that?”He could be asking for some complicated reason, or he could be asking as a concerned bro-friend. Katsuki hates that he isn’t good at reading and understanding people’s hidden feelings. He says, “Only nerds use metaphors when they talk, and only my quirk can keep the fire inside of me going. Which meat are we having for lunch?”Kirishima points to the beef. “The manliest of all meats,” he says, beaming again. He’s always good at powering through and out of weird moments. Katsuki cooks a roast beef. And after they eat, they go skiing in Snow Town Yeti. Katsuki takes great pleasure in trying to push Kirishima down into the snow. Kirishima tries to get back at him by throwing snowballs at his head. Kirishima’s handsome face is as red as the strands of hair sticking out from underneath his fuzzy blue hat.It’s fun. They do not talk about what happened in January, and there are no questions voiced out loud or answered about whether or not Katsuki will go back to being a pro hero.When they go up on a ski lift, Katsuki considers kissing Kirishima. It is the kind of romantic gesture Kirishima would accept without making things too embarrassing. But it could complicate an otherwise good friendship. And Kirishima deserves better.Three days and a snowstorm and many annoyances later, Kirishima says goodbye and promises to visit again. He was coughing last night, and his nose is red. Katsuki hands him an extra scarf to add onto the four wrapped around his head and neck.“Don’t come up here in the off-season,” Katsuki says. “Wait until July like the other losers.”He waits for Kirishima to disappear down the road before closing the door. Then he opens Deku’s memoir. He can’t believe that nerd would do something so pretentious as write a fucking book about his life when he hasn’t even lived to thirty yet. Having the One For All quirk has obviously inflated his already large head even more. When did he even have the time? Yeah he's on “vacation" often, recovering from injuries caused by too much empathy, what else, but isn’t he busy receiving guests when he's resting, those adoring fans and friends he has made over the years?Katsuki flips through the book. It is 250 pages. Most of it seems to be a history lesson on the One For All quirk and how All Might utilized it and then passed it down to Deku. The memoir is dedicated to “Uraraka Ochako-san,” for getting him into U.A. and helping him see himself in a new way. He acknowledges more of his friends and family on the Acknowledgments page. Iida is there, and Todoroki. Aizawa, his mom, All Might. No mention of the absent father.Then, there’s the last sentence on that page: And thank you to Kacchan, my childhood friend and rival, for the opportunities to grow stronger and braver. Katsuki places the book on the currently unlit fireplace. He lights a fire in his hands. “Die Deku,” he says.Opportunities to grow stronger? He is going to drag Deku up here just so that he can throw him off the mountain. That’ll teach Deku not to be so insensitive about those embarrassing incidents involving Katsuki and the various villains who turned out to be too strong for him to handle on his own. And it’s not like Deku rescued him singlehandedly. He always had help. And Katsuki never asked to be saved, not by Deku.It is June 1, and he is finally done with the memoir and almost at the base of the mountain, ready to confront Deku. It took him this long to finish reading because he had to put the book down many times to stop himself from lighting it on fire, and then he would take a long hike to calm down. He is about forty minutes from the nearest station, but the wind is picking up. Heavy gusts, tangling his clothes, snatching the breath from his lungs. Cooling his flushed face.Katsuki can think of better things to do than be trapped outside as the world freezes around him. It would feel like getting hit with one of Todoroki’s ice spells. But a tad less annoying because the guy wouldn’t be in the distance staring impassively. That’s why Deku never hooked up with him, probably, that blank face. No telling what Todoroki was thinking, and Deku secretly likes conflict better anyway. Likes getting his buttons pushed, thrives during life and death situations. “Go die, Deku!” Katsuki yells down the mountainside, before trudging back to his cabin.Once inside, he locks the door and windows, warms his hands and feet, and then looks at the memoir. The book is on top of the fireplace, cover bent, the first fifty pages wrinkled because he spilled tea on it yesterday. He pokes at his fire and then sits down with the book again. It’s the worst memoir he has ever read, if it can even be called a memoir. There are actual graphs splayed over some of the pages, with unnecessary facts and figures about the previous One For All users, with details like how long they used the quirk before dying. The most boring yet offensive part is the one about Deku’s childhood, and it is located in the last third of the book for some reason. What kind of shitty memoir is this? Deku never puts himself first, not even in his own story. And there is too much about Katsuki in it. Katsuki wants to rip out the last few chapters, but he’s been trying to be less destructive lately.His full name is written only once in the memoir, and then it’s “Kacchan” the entire time. According to Chapter 8, Kacchan was a wild, boisterous, egotistical, mean prodigy. Kacchan’s hobbies included exploring the neighborhood with his gang of admirers and bullying kids who didn’t have their quirks yet. Deku was simultaneously afraid of him and in awe of him. He wanted Kacchan to acknowledge him.But this acknowledgement wouldn’t come until later in their lives. In Chapter 9, Deku, now in high school with One For All, works hard to become as strong as Kacchan. Both of them grow into their powers.It is unclear in the book whether Kacchan ever acknowledges Midoriya Izuku, or how strong the guy really is when he’s not getting captured by villains. The descriptions of the rescue efforts are also vague. Deku does not mention that he is the one who orchestrated the last part of the Rescue Kacchan from the League of Villains Mission, had Kirishima hold out a hand to Kacchan. An offer to save him, again, but through another person. Like that was any better.The wind has died down, and the skies are clear again. Katsuki tosses the book aside. He takes his cell phone out and squeezes it, almost hard enough to break.There was no reason for Deku to write about their childhood. All the things he wrote are true, but Katsuki had thought that Deku had forgiven him. What, then, was the point of talking about their feelings in their fight after the provisional license exams?But he can forgive Deku for that. He isn’t even angry about that, when he thinks about it. But the acknowledgement isn’t right. After practicing the breathing techniques he has been doing since his third year at U.A., he resolves to go down to the grocery store tomorrow and text Deku. For now, dinner and then bed.Deku arrives three days later. He’s knocking at the door an hour before sunset, even though he had been told to come in the morning. He has a gigantic bento box balanced on one hand and a large backpack slung over his shoulders, even though he had been told that he wasn’t allowed to stay over. Katsuki considers not opening the door, but the soft, incessant tap of Deku’s knuckles against the wood is irritating him. “Hi, Kacchan,” Deku says as soon as Katsuki yanks the door open. Deku’s face is flushed, and he is limping as he enters the cabin. He could have mentioned that his injuries still haven’t healed and postponed this visit. An infuriating idiot.“How have you been? Good?” Deku asks as he takes off his sneakers. He looks hesitantly at the extra pair of house slippers before sliding his feet into them.Then, “Mom sent you some food?” He shuffles over to the kotatsu and places the bento box on it. “She said you liked her cooking when you were little?”“Funny how that part didn’t end up in your memoir,” Katsuki says, locking the door. Then he unlocks it. He might need to toss Deku out quickly in the very near future, and it would be awkward to haul him over to the door and then have to stop to fiddle around with the lock. Deku would use that opportunity to try to reason with him. Trying to reason with him is one of Deku’s hobbies, along with collecting All Might merchandise, being a nerd, and being a pain in the ass. “Why are you here again,” Katsuki says.“Um? You invited me, Kacchan?”“Why’d you accept, Deku.”“Why not?” He laughs, the sound forced. “I’ve never hiked up Fuji-san before! It’s so gorgeous, Kacchan, I’m a bit envious you have a cabin here! So high up, away from civilization! How do you do it? You know, how do you get food and supplies?” Deku takes a notebook and a pen out his bag. “Do you hunt for bears-”“What are you, a reporter?” Katsuki yanks the notebook out of Deku’s hands. “Or are you taking notes for your next book? Whatever the fuck you are, you’re really stupid for not seeing the shops on the way up.”“Oh, I know about the stores, but I was wondering how you in particular… Anyway, I haven’t really thought about writing another book, but maybe a novel… Yeah, a novel that is set in a cabin like this, on the edge of a cliff almost, about to tumble down into…” Deku drifts over to the kitchen window and looks out, his eyes wide, his pen hanging loosely from his crooked right hand.While Deku mumbles to himself, Katsuki examines the contents of the bento box. Mrs. Midoriya has sent the very best of her cooking, with a generous helping of Sichuan peppers on the side, and two red bean mochi. She seems to have forgiven him. Or, there could be poison laced in the vegetables and meat. Now that he’s older, Mrs. Midoriya won’t feel as bad about poisoning him. Maybe there’s a note at the very bottom of the box, one that he will reach after he’s polished off the food, something like, Katsuki-kun, Enjoy these just desserts for bullying my precious Izuku for years and making him cry. Love, Inko-san“Deku, come here and taste these,” Katsuki says.“Huh?” Deku looks at him, blinking rapidly. “Those are for you, Kacchan.”“Yeah?”“There’s nothing in them.” Deku moves closer. He picks up his notebook and then starts staring at Katsuki, eyes big and bright.It’s reassuring that Deku hasn’t changed much, aside from the bulkier, taller frame, growing collection of scars, and a more angular face. He is still as inquisitive as fuck. Katsuki can’t wait to tell him to get out. After dinner and a confrontation, i.e., conversation, about the acknowledgement. He sits down to eat without offering anything more to Deku and only makes it halfway through dinner before anger gets the better of him. He puts his chopsticks down and tries to throw the memoir at Deku’s head.Deku moves away before it can connect, wailing in protest.“You think it’s a joke, Deku,” Katsuki says, “me getting snatched by those villains? You’re happy that shit happened to me? Those were opportunities for you to get stronger?”Deku’s mouth falls open. Katsuki tucks his hands into his armpits. He wants answers, and he’ll have to sit still for them. Best not to get fired up.After some sputtering and stammering, his cheeks reddening under the freckles, the flush spreading down to his neck, Deku manages to say, “You’ve got it all wrong, Kacchan! I wasn’t talking about those incidents!”“Oh yeah?” “Yeah! I was talking about our rivalry! You know, how we used to fight each other, or how we try to outdo each other even when we are partnered up. I would never view any event where you were hurt as an opportunity for anything.”Katsuki unfolds his arms. “Well, write clearer next time. What kind of writer are you? Can’t even get the acknowledgements right.”He can feel his mood improving. It was stupid of him to jump to conclusions, to reach into that old anger, to believe that Deku was looking down on him again. They’re not enemies now. They can get along in public. For example, in January, before Katsuki told their agency to fire him and stormed out, they had attended a fundraiser together and sat next to each other voluntarily. And once, over dessert, Deku had accidentally brushed his fingers over Katsuki’s wrist as he murmured something Katsuki can’t remember now and Katsuki had not yelled. He had been quiet and thought about how Deku was his oldest acquaintance, the two of them sharing spaces for 25 years now, how he knew him longer and more intimately than anyone else there.“Why would you think I was talking about those incidents?” Deku asks him now, looking curious. Katsuki stands up quickly. “No more questions!” he says. “You’ve asked like a million since you got here.”“Sorry?”“Why did that sound like a question?”Deku smiles suddenly, an open smile like he gives to his friends. Not a fearful one; not an empty one. More brilliant than All Might’s, something unlearned. “You’re leaving at the ass crack of dawn,” Katsuki says. He goes over to the stove and ladles several spoonfuls of beef stew into a bowl for Deku.“Aw, Kacchan, really? But I haven’t seen anything yet.”“Too bad, so sad.” He places the bowl on the kotatsu and motions for Deku to sit down.It’s too early to go to sleep, and the cabin is stifling with Deku in it, so Katsuki heads out to chop more wood. Deku joins him outside after only ten minutes. But he watches him without trying to start up a conversation. No questions, not even about where the logs are from when the land around them is a red sea of rocks. “They’re not from that forest,” Katsuki says. “You know. Aokigahara. Don’t you go there either. These logs are from my landlady. She gets them from a convenience store.”When Deku takes out a notebook and begins writing, Katsuki relaxes further. Not a bad way to end the day. A full stomach, his arms aching gently as he swings the axe methodically, the breeze lifting his hair from the back of his neck, Deku mumbling next to him.Deku is actually the easiest guest to have, Katsuki realizes that night. When Kirishima stayed over, Katsuki had to give up his comfortable bed and roll out the futon for himself every night. But with Deku, he just has to point out the futon and the spare pillows and not fix anything and not give up the bed at all. He falls asleep watching Deku write, the light from the fire illuminating the green of Deku’s curls, the tense concentration on his face, the angle of his hand, an odd angle when you really look at it, his fingers slightly crooked from breaking one too many times, from reaching out to anyone and everyone, palm open or fingers closed in a fist. A hero’s hand.In the morning, Deku gets up before him and tries to cook. He burns the eggs and makes the rice too soggy. He also makes coffee, which tastes bitter. It’s been awhile since Katsuki woke up to a breakfast already made for him. “You were supposed to be gone by now,” Katsuki says. “You’re welcome,” Deku replies.This braver version of Deku would have irritated Katsuki when they were in school. He used to think that Deku was looking down on him with disdain. Now he only notices how Deku’s gaze gets sharper when he is in a mood to not take any shit. Deku looks almost handsome.Katsuki pulls his pajama pants up over the waistband of his boxers and tries to flatten his hair down. He says, “Take your boring memoir with you when you go.”Deku takes a sip of coffee from the mug Katsuki always uses. It is a yellow, blue, and red striped coffee mug. An All Might mug, but not gaudy and overly fannish like the ones Deku has. Deku says, “I’ll go after my hike.”“You won’t last ten minutes on a trail, even the Yoshida Trail. Go home.”Katsuki puts some rice in a bowl and begins eating. Deku picks up the memoir from the coffee table and puts it in his duffel bag. He zips up the bag. His veins are getting more prominent, pushing up from the middle knuckle and towards his wrists.“Wait,” Katsuki says, standing up. “Take the bento box.”He realizes then that he doesn’t have any food to put in the box. He can’t return it empty. He always repays his debts.“Fine,” he says. “Fine, dammit. You can go on a hike while I make lunch for your mom.”“Oh, you don’t have to do that.” Deku waves both of his hands, a dismissive gesture. “Can you … Would you like to … How about that Yoshida Trail, huh? Where is it?”“Go find it yourself, Deku!”There is no way he’s going to waste any more time on Deku now that they’ve solved all of their problems through proper vocal communication. Katsuki turns to the pantry. Deku can wander around by himself until he gets bored, and then Katsuki will hand over the bento box, and that will be the end of this visit. He gives himself a mental pat on the back for handling things like an adult.When he realizes that Deku is still hovering at the door, he says, “What, are you afraid? Thought you were past all that.”“Yeah.” Deku exhales. There is a weird look on his face. Like he’s kind of disappointed or something. “You’re right, Kacchan. See you later.”“Don’t go to the summit. It’ll take your slow ass at least four hours to get there and then another two to get back. You’re not staying another night.” “What makes you think I want to stay another night?” Deku says. “Your floor is too hard! I’ll be back in an hour.”Deku is not back in an hour. He is not back in two hours either, or three. Katsuki can’t call him because there is no reception inside his cabin. The lunch that he has made for Mrs. Midoriya has gone cold. The temperature is dropping outside. Katsuki’s anger is growing hotter, a burning sensation spreading from his stomach to his throat. The burning could also be reflux because of Deku’s nasty cooking. Whatever. Deku is always a source of distress. What kind of guest says that he’ll back in an hour and then stays out so long on an active volcano without letting his host know that he’s okay, that he hasn’t gotten himself killed or something?When they were kids, Katsuki used to wish that Deku would disappear. Deku was a puzzle, somehow both weak and brave, a nobody, yet the one Katsuki thought about the most. Quirkless, but the most heroic of them all. You looked like you were asking for help. Quirkless Deku, reaching for him, reaching out to save him. He was a nuisance, and then he was an obstacle in Bakugou Katsuki’s path to becoming the strongest hero.Now they are not-unfriendly rivals. He competes against Deku and tolerates him and listens to his heartfelt speeches sometimes and works with him when he needs to. That’s it. But the old feelings, the simmering dislike, the infuriating confusion, those are gone. He doesn’t knock things over when people refer to Deku as his childhood friend, and he doesn’t want Deku to disappear.He grabs his coat, jams his feet into his boots, and winds a scarf around his neck. He picks up the walking stick from the umbrella stand and heads out.“DEKU!!!!!!” he yells, closing the door behind him. The name returns to him in echoes. A thick fog is settling in, shutting out the sunlight. He hopes that Deku hasn’t climbed too close to the summit. He won’t be able to find Deku then.And he wants to, so much. This is his chance to redeem himself. He messed up in January, was half-conscious and incapacitated as his juniors completed the rescue mission and got both him and Deku back to safety, but he’ll show them now. He’s going to save Deku. His debt to Deku will be repaid. They will be on equal footing. Maybe he will deserve Deku’s forgiveness then.Five minutes later, he realizes that he is not going to be able to do anything by himself. Visibility is rapidly getting worse, and Deku is nowhere to be seen. He will have to call for a search party.He calls out the first hiker he sees. The hiker stops, and he hurries up to the person, saying, “Hey, have you seen a green-haired useless nerd around here?”The hiker is wearing a pair of reflective sunglasses. Katsuki can see himself in them. His eyes are too wide, and he is clutching his hair.He puts his hands in his pockets. The hiker says, “You’ll have to be more specific. A nerd?” “He’s about my height and talks to himself!”“Hey, aren’t you that mountain troll who lives down there?” The hiker smiles. “My friends told me that I shouldn’t talk to you.”“Have you seen him or not!”“No.” The hiker turns back to the trail. “But good on him for leaving.”“Fuck you,” he mutters, looking around. He goes off the trail the hiker is using and continues to climb up, trying to scan the area around him as carefully as he can. “Fuck you, Deku! Always a pain in my ass. Fuck you. Fuck! Fuck me. Fuck me.”“Kacchan?”The voice is so soft, Katsuki thinks that he’s imagining it at first. He doesn’t turn around until he hears Deku say his name again, louder this time. From the trail behind him. Clambering up behind him. From the direction of the cabin. He zooms back to Deku, flames erupting in both hands. “WHERE-” he begins.“Kacchan, it’s okay!” Deku says, holding out his arms, like he wants a hug or some shit like that. “You were right, it’s too risky to go on a long hike now, so I was writing behind your cabin! Kacchan?”“Behind the cabin?!”Deku gestures weakly with one hand, his gaze not leaving Katsuki’s face. “Yes. Where you keep the firewood. I was working on my novel…”His eyes widen a fraction, as he trails off, and Katsuki realizes that he is reaching for Deku’s jacket, ready to make him feel how angry he is. Katsuki stops.They are adults now. They can work things out without fists. They should have always worked everything out with words instead of violence.“You have to leave,” he says, brushing past Deku.Katsuki folds himself into his armchair and works on his breathing as Deku locates his bag and the bento box. It will take Deku at least two hours to reach Yoshidaguchi 5th Station, with his leg injuries and all, but he should get there before nightfall. If the weather doesn’t change drastically. Anyway. Not his responsibility. “Hey.” Deku is near the door now. His tone is soft. “Kaachan, please keep the book. May I leave it here, on this table?”Katsuki pulls his wool blanket over his head.“Kacchan.”“You did it on purpose. You heard me calling you, but you didn’t answer. You were fucking with me.”“I’m-”“Don’t apologize.”Deku puts his things down and walks over to Katsuki’s corner of the room. “Yes,” he says. “I did it on purpose, because I was annoyed with you. I wanted to talk to you about coming back to our agency, and I was going to do it on the hike, but, as usual, you don’t want to talk to me.”“What are you talking about?! All we’ve done since you got here was talk!”“Have we?” Deku leans against the fireplace. “All you did was yell at me, Kacchan, about the acknowledgement, and tell me to leave.”“Why can’t you mind your own damn business, Deku?”Katsuki expects Deku to start smiling in All Might’s way, the easy, situation-diffusing smile of a hero. That’s what Deku does these days, when he's not tearing himself apart to save someone, or recovering from those injuries, or writing a memoir. The Agency sends him out to smile at some angry villain, and half the time that’s enough to make everything right again.But Deku isn’t smiling now. He looks serious and sorry. Ready to take the blame, to be a saint.“You can’t keep trying to save me,” Katsuki says. “Not when I can’t return the favor.”Deku’s eyes widen. There is no pity on his face, only surprise. Probably. Katsuki hopes so. He reaches out and grabs Deku’s arm. He pulls him closer to the armchair, rises up. When his face is close enough to Deku’s that he can see the exact shape of each freckle, close enough that he can smell a faint hint of wood smoke in Deku’s thick curls, he realizes what he is doing. He sits back down and folds his hands in his lap.“You can stay tonight,” he mutters.He can’t quite look at Deku now, so he just listens when Deku says, sounding flustered, “Thank you, but I really ought to be going… You’re right, sometimes I do need to mind my own business. I… Come back to us when you can, Kacchan. You can’t retire before me, can you?”Before leaving, Deku adds, quickly, one foot already out the door, “Thanks for letting me stay!”Once the door has closed, Katsuki stands up and looks around. Deku forgot about the memoir. He has taken it with him. Well. At least he’s gone. Good riddance.**The tourists ascend in full force starting July, and they’re of an entirely different and more aggravating breed than the fools who were knocking on the cabin door in the winter. At least thirty of them take selfies with the Mountain Troll sign. Then one knocks it over, and no one bothers to put it back up. Then someone carries it off as a souvenir. That is the last straw.Katsuki packs his bags, locks the cabin behind him, treks down to his old landlady, hands over his key and an extra month’s rent, and then heads over to Yoshidaguchi 5th Station. He takes one last look at Mt. Fuji before boarding the train. It was a good vacation, almost all of it, including Deku’s visit.He is back in central Tokyo in no time. His apartment is close by, but Deku’s is closer. So that’s where he goes first. He doesn’t bother texting Deku. Either the guy is at home, or he isn’t. No need to make things awkward.Katsuki arrives at Deku’s building. Deku lives in an upscale area that has extra security, but there’s no protecting people who court danger on the daily. Katsuki locates the entrance panel and presses the button to Deku’s apartment.Five minutes later, he is in Deku’s foyer, his palms sweating a bit, his heart beating a tad too fast, a part of himself vaguely disgusted with other parts of himself. “Yo,” he greets Deku.“Hi, Kacchan.” Deku tries to smile. Deku looks as flustered as he sounded through the panel. But he looks good. He is wearing a neatly pressed white shirt, which is unbuttoned at the collar, and black jeans that are folded above his ankles. His hair is slicked back with gel and not in a gross way either.“Is that Bakugou-kun?” someone asks from behind Deku.Katsuki looks past Deku’s shoulder to see that Deku has guests. Uraraka and Iida. Now he regrets his stupid decision to come here.“You took my book, Deku,” he says.“Oh.” Deku motions to the living room. “Why don’t you have a seat? I’ll get the book. Ochako-san and Tenya-kun are here, as you can see. Have dinner with us.”“Nah.” Katsuki crosses his arms. “Just got back.”“Ah. Alright. I’ll go grab it.” Deku is blushing. Weird. Is he thinking about their almost-kiss? That memory makes Katsuki’s face heat up. And other parts of his body too. He’ll get over it eventually. There is no way Deku is going to hook up with him. Why else would Deku have left him so fast?While he waits for Deku to get the book, he responds with a “hi” to Iida’s boisterous greeting and “okay” to Uraraka’s friendly question. They look cozy together on Deku’s leather couch, passing a cell phone between them to read someone’s texts, sharing snacks from the platters in front of them. He wonders which one Deku is banging or has banged or will bang. Or, they could be family. Whatever their relationship, it’s better than what Deku has with him.“Thank you for waiting,” Deku says when he returns. He holds the book out. “Sorry I took it with me. I forgot to take it out of my bag.”“No sweat.” Katsuki touches the book. His fingers brush against Deku’s. He takes the memoir and places it in his backpack.“I’m happy you’re back, Kacchan.”“Yeah.” Katsuki clears his throat. “Can’t retire before your weak ass, right?”“See you at work?”“You got it.”Why is he lingering? Deku is getting ready to close the door. This is a good time to go. They are back to being rivals, far away from their past as kids who hated each other.“Hey, Deku,” Katsuki says, at Deku’s doorstep. “Thanks. For not trying too hard to save me this time.”Deku pauses, his hand on the door. “And for the times you did. And sorry. For being an ass. For giving you a hard time.”Deku’s eyes fill with tears.“Right.” Katsuki turns to the elevator doors. “Later.”“Bye, Kacchan,” Deku says. “See you later.”Katsuki looks at him again. Deku is wiping tears and smiling. Happy with him, Bakugou Katsuki, for once. Katsuki smiles back.
11215461	Little Ball of Fur	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "Gen", "Characters": "Keith (Voltron), Lance (Voltron), Red Lion (Voltron), Blue Lion (Voltron)", "Fandom": "Voltron: Legendary Defender", "Language": "English", "Rating": "General Audiences", "author": "by Ford_Ye_Fiji", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-16T00:00:00", "words": "650", "Additional Tags": "Fluff, Just lots of fluff, lance was being his usual self so, something had to be done, XD, naw I'm kidding, Keith was annoyed, Red has mischief in her, Blue will always be a troll, platonic everything - Freeform, pidge is there briefly in all her salty glory", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": "Keith and the Cat-astrophe", "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Two weeks. Two weeks, and still, Red insisted upon being in her smaller form whenever she roamed the Castle of Lions. Well, as Pidge had stated excitedly, adjusting her glasses, "Normal African lions usually only grow as large as six and a half feet from head to tail- but as near as I can figure, Red seems to be more like seven feet!"Now, as that was certainly an advantage against enemies, it wasn't helpful for other things. For one, Red insisted upon following Keith wherever he went. Apparently she'd not forgotten when the Castle went haywire and nearly killed her paladin. Red was also pushy. If Keith was tired, yet thought he didn't need sleep- his lion would correct him of that thought. (She sat on him until he said he'd go to bed.) This method worked quite well for meals too. Though, she preferred to growl at him with warning if he went anywhere but the kitchen.Shiro actually delighted in this whole situation, because he knew Keith had some bad habits- but with Red's watchful eye, he didn't have that constant nagging worry about him anymore.Red wasn't all work and no play, though..."Lance, stop! Stop laughing! It's- it's not funny!"The Blue Paladin paused, took one look at his teammate and laughter burst forth once again into the room, "Keith you should see yourself-" he cut himself off with more muffled giggles hidden behind his head.Keith pouted, arms crossed as Red picked him up by the collar of his shirt and deposited him on a spot of her liking in the middle of the room. The Red Paladin spoke through clenched teeth, "Red, I'm not going to be able to fight as well if I can't train."She sniffed and didn't let him go.Lance nearly fell over from laughing, "Oh boy, your lion has so got you, Keith. You're not going anywhere!"Keith really wanted to leap forward and tackle him, but Red's soft hum of something like 'patience' cooled a bit of his annoyed fire. Red hummed again, 'watch' and settled beside him. Keith waited and then, he saw a shape moving in the corridor."I can't believe you can't move her! If my lion did that, I'd be out of there already!"He regretted saying that. A moment later something big and blue had launched across the room and bowled into Lance with all the ferocity of a playful kitten. The whole scuffle ended with a large blue lion sprawled across Lance, throughly preventing him from getting up.Red let go of Keith, an almost smug grin on her face. So that's why she insisted that he sit away from Lance off into the center of the room, "Did you plan this?"An answering hum of mischief was all he needed. Strolling over to the huffing and still startled Lance, the Red Paladin crossed his arms and smirked, "Who's laughing now?""Blue! What? Why? Why have you betrayed me?!"Pidge peered into the room at the commotion, straightening her glasses curiously, "Oh. The blue lion can do that too? Was Lance in danger or something?""No, he was making fun of us.""No I wasn't! I'm innocent!""Oh." Pidge eyed Lance before giggling, "Don't dish it out if you can't take it."Lance's head fell backwards on the floor, "Why I even associate with you guys is beyond me." Blue nudged him with her wet nose and laid her head to rest on the chest of his armor.Keith cracked a rare smile, "As you know, none of had a choice in the matter." He still settled next to Lance, the soft padding of Red following him before curling up next to them both. Her silky red fur moved up and down with a contented purr.The Paladins both knew, that despite their ribbing, there was no place they'd rather be.
11241630	Excoriate	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": null, "Fandom": "Shameless (US)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Explicit", "author": "by HannibalsTie", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-19T00:00:00", "words": "1,568", "Additional Tags": "Angst, Homophobic Language", "Relationship": "Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": "Chafed", "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	“But I don’t wanna,” Ian whines like a four year old, burying his face in Mickey’s chest and God, Mickey fucking loves him. So much. Even like this. When he’s annoying as shit and throwing a fit about work, Mickey would still burn the world for him. “Quit bitchin’ and get your gangly ass up, Gallagher. If I gotta go to work, so do you.” “Could just stay home,” Ian suggests in that tone that makes the hairs on Mickey’s arms stand up. “Could spend the day reminding you what I’m good for.” “Or,” Mickey says pointedly, pushing Ian’s face away from his stomach, “you could go make some fuckin’ money and remind me of that when you get home.” “You’re no fun,” Ian pouts up at him. Mickey thinks he could die right this second and it’d be okay. “But I love you, anyway.” And it’s right there, on the tip of Mickey’s tongue and bursting from his overworked heart. I love you, too. I’d kill for you. I’d die for you. But his throat locks up with fear and his stomach drops to his feet and he’s so, so fucking sick of being scared all the time. So sick of seeing Ian’s face crumble for a second before he quickly covers it with a kiss to Mickey’s neck as he slides out of the bed. But words like what the hell does that even mean and this isn’t me anymore ring loudly through his ears and he just fucking can’t. Because being asked what his love is worth and being told he wasn’t enough is permanently scratched into his fucking skin and those three fucking words can’t erase the scars. Because he’s so much of a pussy now that he can’t even say a phrase without his chest clenching up like he’s been shot for a third time. Mickey listens to the shower run and drags his nails over the bruises on his hips and wishes those were scars, too. So he goes into the kitchen and he opens a beer at nine in the morning and pretends he’s not a spineless piece of shit while he waits for Ian to leave. Just for work. He’ll be back . It’s like a fucking mantra because clinging to that is the only thing that stops his hands from shaking when Ian kisses him goodbye. “You just gonna stand in the kitchen looking like that and expect me to go to work?” Ian asks with a smirk as he walks back in, dressed and trying to smooth his hair back. “Couldn’t even put a shirt on to make it easier on me?” And Mickey’s a teenage girl, hoping that his beer bottle will cover the blush he can feel spreading up his neck as Ian walks toward him, confident and gorgeous and the very fucking thing that lets Mickey’s lungs expand like they should over and over again. Ian grips him around the waist, hard, pulling him away from the counter to press against him and Mickey rethinks his earlier declaration because, suddenly, he can’t breathe at all. “Let me call in,” Ian murmurs against his neck, sliding his hand over Mickey’s ass. “Want you.” It’s a hard fought battle against the moan working its way out of his mouth and how his cock aches between his legs but he needs to see Ian come back. Just for work. He’ll be back . Needs to watch Ian walk out the door and back through it again or else he can’t fucking sleep and spends the night remembering the way he’d watched the door for his mom, for Mandy, for everything he’s ever loved that’s left him behind. He needs Ian to leave and come back to him, every day, because Mickey is fucked up and just wants to feel safe for a little while, curled up in bed with Ian wrapped around him after leaving and coming back and staying . Mickey swallows around the lump in his throat and presses his hips forward, grinning. “Give ya’ somethin’ to wonder about all day, tough guy. Think you can handle it?” Ian groans and kisses Mickey hard for not nearly long enough. “You’re a fucking tease, Mikhailo Alekdsandr.” And Mickey has to cover his flinch because he knows, he fucking knows , Ian only knows his full name because of the cops. Probably when he escaped. He’s never fucking told him because Mickey hates it the same way he hates brass knuckles and being woken up with a shake. “You’re gonna be late,” Mickey murmurs against Ian’s mouth, wishing he tasted full lips instead of bitter memories. “Don’t make me kick your freckled ass out.” “Yeah, yeah,” Ian sighs, pulling back and dragging his eyes down Mickey’s body and Mickey swears he can fucking feel that shit. His whole goddamned being responds to that look. “I’ll see you tonight, right?” “‘Course,” Mickey says too quickly to be normal. Where else would he be? The world could collapse in on itself in the next eight hours and Mickey would still be right here to see Ian walk through that fucking door. “No hero shit, yeah?” “Promise.” Ian replies as he walks to the front door, oblivious of how Mickey’s eyes track the movement and how Mickey’s jaw clenches with the click. Just for work. He’ll be back . He doesn’t panic when Ian is six minutes and forty five seconds late. He just caught an extra red light, no big deal. He doesn’t panic when he finishes the shitty horror movie that was playing in the background in hopes of drowning out the beating of his fucking heart. He doesn’t panic when the noise outside dies down to nothing as people start retreating inside. He doesn’t panic. He drinks and he paces and remembers the way the wind blew salt water on his face but he doesn’t fucking panic. I did a porno. He doesn’t call Fiona and only calls Ian’s phone twice or seven times. He doesn’t fucking cry. And when midnight rolls around, and he puts a new hole in the wall near the back door and opens his last beer, he still doesn’t cry. But don’t worry, guy said he was clean. He sits on the couch and counts the seconds and wonders why he let himself do this again. He’s fucking weak, Terry was right and damn it, if that doesn’t hurt. So he cries but that’s really nothing new and what would Terry have to say about that? He can imagine. A Milkovich, the fag, sitting on his couch, crying like a bitch because he let his heart get stomped on again. He thinks of red hair and harsh bites and how green is the prettiest color in the world. He fucking cries. When the door opens six hours and twelve seconds too late, he doesn’t want to look up. He wants to think about the time he and Mandy snuck into a concert and got drunk or the way his mother used to smile when she thought no one was looking because seeing that glassy look in Ian’s eyes again is too hard. But he looks up anyway because blue always meets green somewhere, eventually, forever. Except Ian just looks tired at first glance so Mickey looks away and pretends there’s nothing beyond tired. He went to work. He came back . He picks at the label on his beer bottle and wishes he felt as drunk as he should be. “Where ya’ been?” Because if he’s gonna go out, it’s gonna be with a fucking bang instead of this pussy shit he’s been doing since he was five and realized he shouldn’t make noise when dad’s sleeping. “Seven car pile up. You gotta start getting news updates on your phone, Mick.” His eyes burn when Ian kisses his shoulder on the way to the kitchen and Mickey feels his heart slow down, speed up, give out entirely as he listens to Ian in the other room. He went to work. He came back . So Mickey stands up and forces his heavy legs to move and watches Ian, solid and real and here , in his ratty ass kitchen, just like he was this morning. And he’ll never fucking say it out loud that just pressing his face against Ian’s back, solid and real and still fucking here is better than the stolen XBOX he got for Christmas all those lifetimes ago or the ocean at sunrise. “Worried about you.” Because if Ian thought he was a pussy before, Mickey can only imagine what he’d think now and that’s not something he can ever let happen. Ian has always wanted him to be braver than he’s ever really been but Mickey’s good at pretending. Fake it till he makes it so he will if it keeps Ian solid and real and here, with him. So he’s not gonna tell him about the last six hours and twelve seconds that Mickey spent wondering if a gun is really the easiest way to go or the new hole in the wall. He’s not gonna tell him that all the beatings Terry gave him were nothing compared to the thought that Ian wasn’t coming back. But when they’re in bed and he pulls Ian’s arms around him and clings like the last time he hugged his mom, he’s pretty sure Ian knows it, anyway.
11252817	Dies irae	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": "Gen", "Characters": "Amon Koutarou, Donato Porpora, Urie Mikito", "Fandom": "Tokyo Ghoul", "Language": "Русский", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by Airelinna", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-20T00:00:00", "words": "4,823", "Additional Tags": "Drama, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Cannibalism, Kid Fic", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Когда Котаро слышит шум наверху, в часовне, то думает сначала, что это землетрясение. Там что-то рушится, падает, бьется, будто драконы сражаются друг с другом: машут и стучат по полу гигантскими чешуйчатыми хвостами, рассекая колонны и алтарь, а здесь, в подвале, на голову ему сыпется штукатурка. Котаро боится, что потолок вот-вот рухнет, он представляет это так ярко: вот трещина, похожая на неровную линию, начерченную детской рукой, становится шире, края ее расходятся, и вот уже огромная тяжелая плита отделяется и падает на него, вздымая тучи пыли и ломая ему позвоночник. И он лежит здесь один, потому что никого больше нет, никого не осталось, даже отец не вернется за ним, и медленно умирает. Разве он этого не заслуживает?Это Бог решил покарать его. Котаро знает, что, как бы он ни прятался, никогда не уйдет от Того, кто видит его насквозь и проницает до самого дна: каждое деяние и каждый помысел, каждое кровавое пятно на одежде, каждую заколоченную дверь в темных коридорах его памяти. Бог гневается на него, и ему нечем оправдаться. Однако страх быть погребенным заживо оказывается слишком силен, и Котаро уходит. Он бежит к лестнице, к выходу наверх, чтобы спастись, чтобы найти отца и спросить, что делать, потому что боится умирать, потому что так дико, так отчаянно хочет жить, что готов уже кричать, умоляя о помощи. Но грохот наверху стихает так же внезапно, как начался, а до Котаро начинают доноситься другие звуки: голоса, громкие и уверенные, топот ног наверху, лязг оружия. Кто-то там ходит, бегает, кто-то отдает приказы, а голоса отца Котаро совсем не слышит, и тут до него медленно начинает доходить, что же произошло. Нужно бежать, но ноги подламываются от страха, и Котаро оседает на пол, сползая по стенке. «Что мне делать? Что же мне делать?»Его сердце бьется с отчаянием пойманной птицы, лихорадочно и тщетно ищущей выход.«Может, они сюда не придут? Они не заметят подвал и не придут, а вечером я смогу убежать. Пожалуйста, пусть так и будет!» Он совсем недолго лелеет свою надежду, потому что вскоре слышит приближающиеся шаги. Двое спускаются вниз по лестнице, и все, что Котаро может – это убраться с их пути и спрятаться в одной из темных кладовок. Он садится там на пол, обнимает, стискивает себя руками и ждет. Может, они еще решат не смотреть во все кладовки? Может… Но он уже знает, что они проверят все. О, лучше бы на него упала плита!Котаро цепенеет в холодном ужасе, когда свет фонарика врывается в его убежище и порог переступают два человека в белых плащах. Ангелы возмездия явились за ним. Сквозь трубный глас, раздающийся в голове, Котаро слышит далекий-далекий и такой человеческий голос:– Отряд Урие нашел двенадцатилетнего мальчика в подвале приюта. Мы займемся им. *– Разве ты сам веришь, что хотел это прекратить? – Котаро хлебает противно-приторный суп, который раньше так любил, и не смеет смотреть в глаза отцу, сидящему за столом напротив. Донато Порпора говорит жестокие вещи, но в голосе у него улыбка, мягкая, понимающая. – Ты ведь промолчал. Ты испугался. А Господь ненавидит трусов, Котаро. Котаро знает. Бог ненавидит трусов. Бог никогда не простит его. – Но дело не только в Боге, – продолжает отец, – ты ведь совсем запутался во лжи. Ты же дружил с Наоки? – Котаро давится супом и долго кашляет, частички еды попадают на стол и на рубашку. Отец встает, чтобы похлопать его по спине. «Не надо, – думает Котаро. – Не говори больше, не говори».– Ты ничего не сказал, когда я объявил Наоки о том, что ему нашлись приемные родители. Почему?«Потому что я боюсь. Ты убьешь меня. Ты убьешь меня. Почему ты не убил меня? Я не знаю, как сказать это. Не знаю, кому. Здесь нет телефона, нет ничего – кому мне сказать? Полиция… полиция не поможет… кто здесь поможет? Кто? Кто?»Котаро молчит, опустив глаза, и стискивает ладонями сиденье под собой. Ему кажется, что пол вот-вот провалится под ним и черные гладкие щупальца, проросшие прямо из ада, утянут его в бездну. – Это самый главный вопрос, Котаро, на который ты должен ответить – почему. Почему ты допустил их смерть. Чего ты действительно хочешь. Я не виню тебя. И ты не должен себя винить – ты должен понять. Что бы ты выбрал: спасти кого-то или не знать? Маленьких братьев, которые все равно покинут тебя, или отца, что пребудет с тобой всегда? Сохранить семью или разрушить? Ты ведь уже совсем большой, – серьезно говорит отец, – ты должен понимать такие вещи. Ты должен помнить об ответственности. О выборе. Разве ты не сделал выбор?«Это не выбор! Я этого не выбирал!» – Котаро хочет кричать, но вспоминает серые, смеющиеся глаза Наоки, когда тот смотрел на него в последний раз («Не грусти так, уверен, тебя тоже скоро заберут. Я буду навещать тебя, Котаро!»), и как потом он видел те же глаза уже застывшими, остекленевшими и все не решался закрыть их, а отец заставил его смотреть, заставил его помогать («Держи, вот так. Отбивай хорошенько, я не люблю жесткое мясо»). Котаро ведь не отказался тогда, не убежал, и если это не выбор, то что тогда можно назвать выбором?Черные щупальца обвивают его, безболезненно вспарывают кожу и добираются до сердца, стискивают так туго, что кажется, сейчас лопнет. Котаро слышит, как его частые глухие удары обгоняют секундную стрелку, выбивая неровную дробь.– Ты ел их, Котаро. Своих друзей. И съешь еще. Сладкое, нежное мясо – ты ведь любишь все сладкое? Тебе же понравилось?Котаро зажимает рот, чтобы его не стошнило. – Ты знаешь, что за существа питаются людьми. Как их называют. Что с ними делают. Но если люди из CCG найдут нас, я буду защищать тебя. Я всегда буду защищать тебя. Котаро не может играть с ними, не может смотреть им в глаза. Такие разные, такие живые глаза, которые скоро остекленеют. Они думают, он расстроен, потому что хочет в семью. Котаро не знает, чего он хочет. Отменить? Не знать? Забыть? Прекратить? Умереть?Котаро целые дни просиживает в углу за книгами. Он механически складывает слова в предложения и изо всех сил пытается понять, о чем читает. Но образы расплываются, тускнеют, покрываются темно-багровой коркой, под которой бурлит, клокочет и пузырится густая горячая жижа. Он все чаще видит на строгих монохромных страницах красные пятна – будто по бумаге разлили цветные чернила. Котаро чувствует, как ад тянется к нему всеми своими щупальцами, как обнимает и утаскивает вниз, где ему уже приготовлено место. Он видит, как бездна скалится улыбкой без лица, знакомой доброй, понимающей и чуть насмешливой улыбкой. Там, в непроглядной черной глуби, никогда не умолкает глухой и монотонный стук молотка для отбивания мяса. Лежа в кроватях после отбоя, ребята рассказывают друг другу страшные истории: про туалетную Ханако, женщину с разорванным ртом, половинчатую девушку, что передвигается на локтях и разрубает надвое несчастных, попавшихся ей на пути. Котаро начинает вслушиваться, когда Яно вспоминает о гулях: про них тоже есть множество историй, и кончаются все одинаково. Мальчики уже большие и в детские страшилки не верят, гули – другое дело. Это не сказки: про них пишут в газетах и говорят по телевизору. Время от времени в разных частях города находят растерзанные ими тела, а иногда – только кости. Котаро под одеялом стискивает кулаки до хруста, дрожит и потеет, и хочет кричать, кричать, чтобы они замолчали. Они не знают, что чудовище уже здесь, всегда было здесь, что оно занесло над ними нож: над каждым – по ножу, а в подвале лежит воронка для стока крови, молоток и рулоны пленки, чтобы не пачкать пол. И сколько ни отдраивай хлоркой, там все равно смердит кровью, всегда смердит кровью, тошнотворно и удушливо.Наконец они замолкают в тревожном возбуждении, и Тацио, должно быть, чтобы подбодрить и успокоить, рассказывает о людях, что сражаются с чудовищами на равных. Они, как древние самураи, дерутся огромными мечами, день и ночь выискивают тварей в их темных мрачных углах и убивают или отправляют в тюрьму с такими толстыми стенами, которые не пробьешь никаким оружием. Ходят слухи, что там, в глубине тюрьмы, есть огромный пресс, который сплющивает чудовищ и оставляет от них лишь мокрое место. Мальчики выдыхают облегченно: они думают, что самураи с мечами защитят их, что пресс уничтожит зло и не позволит ему возродиться. Они не знают, что никто не успеет. Котаро до утра слушает теплое сонное дыхание своих братьев и обреченно глядит в потолок, по которому ползают серыми змейками смутные тени. Он представляет пресс, как гигантское чудовище. Оно открывает зубастую пасть, из которой тянется гнилостный трупный запах, а на дне ненасытного чрева – полуразложившиеся останки недопереваренных тел. Он тоже здесь когда-нибудь ляжет. Его найдут и скормят этому зверю: ржавые зубы с лязгом сомкнутся над головой, и его раздавит, пережует, раскатает как тесто внутри темной смрадной утробы. Его изуродованное, неузнаваемое тело останется гнить, а душу заберут черные щупальца и утянут в ад, прямо в разверстую бездну, где стоны и скрежет зубовный.Котаро ненавидит психологов. Следователи допрашивают его о том, что происходило в приюте, психологи – о том, что происходило и происходит в нем самом. «Что ты видел? Что чувствовал? Ты испугался? Ты растерялся и не знал, что делать? Был парализован ужасом? Хотел вернуть все назад? Что ты чувствуешь сейчас? Ты боишься? Подавлен горем? Котаро, если ты будешь молчать, я ведь так и не смогу помочь тебе…»Она и так не сможет. Котаро думал, что его убьют следователи, но отец лгал, как и во многом другом. Он просто человек. Человек, которого вырастил гуль. Человек, которого кормили другими людьми, а еще фасолью, рисом и пончиками. Он не гуль. Он хуже, но его не убьют.Никто не осуждает его, не дразнит людоедом, не кричит, не угрожает смертью или тюрьмой. Никто не знает правды. Все чаще Котаро кажется, что он сам не знает ее. Ему сказали, что отца, нет, не отца – Донато Порпору, гуля по прозвищу «Священник», – посадили в Кокурию. Ту самую огромную тюрьму с толстыми стенами, о которой говорил Тацио. Ему сказали, что путь из этой тюрьмы только один – вниз, в вечно голодное жерло пресса, что день и ночь со скрежещущим чавканьем дробит гульи кости и пережевывает мясо. Котаро не знает, что думает об этом. Ему кажется, что все время, каждое мгновение с тех пор, как узнал правду, он душит в себе крик. Страшный, надрывный, нечеловеческий крик, который убьет его, если вырвется наружу, который оставит на его месте воронку глубиной до преисподней и заставит содрогнуться само небо. Он задавил этот крик внутри, запер его вместе с самим собой в темном подвале приюта, заколотил выход, а сам приют сровнял с землей. Никто больше не пострадает, ведь Котаро не позволит крику прорваться. Он ненавидит психологов, потому что они никому не помогут. Они стоят на пепелище у заколоченного изнутри люка и зовут ласковыми голосами: они не знают, что зовут чудовище, напитанное предсмертным хрипом мертвых детей, их и своей болью, ложью, что отравила каждый нерв, и виной, невообразимой виной, тяжелой, как гора на плечах маленького мальчика. Они не знают, что тревожат чудовище своими голосами, что ворочают нож в гниющей ране и чудовище хочет кричать, кричать, кричать, пока не уничтожит себя и весь этот мир, позволивший, допустивший такую боль. Котаро думает, может, если отец (не отец, не отец, не отец) умрет, станет легче. Он ждет, что ему скажут о казни, но все молчат, а спросить он не решается. Это ведь жестоко, так жестоко – желать кому-то смерти. Котаро кажется, что сам он живет по инерции. Это просто ошибка, так не должно быть – чтобы все они были мертвы, а он – нет. Почему он еще жив? Почему? Мальчики, у которых нет и не будет могил, они похоронены там же, где и он – на пепелище, где была церковь и приют, в навсегда заколоченном подвале. Они похоронены в нем: внутри него стоят кресты и надгробия, внутри него пустые могилы, внутри него их голоса и смех, несбывшиеся надежды и непрожитые жизни. Он не спит ночами, перечисляя их имена, он молится за их души, а за свою молиться не смеет – нельзя, нельзя, ад прочно держит его сердце в тисках и просто ждет, спокойно и мягко улыбаясь из тьмы. Если бы Господь хотел спасти его, то ничего этого не допустил бы. В приюте, куда поместили Котаро, много детей – мальчиков, девочек, но он их почти не знает, хотя времени, чтобы подружиться – достаточно. Большинство из них осиротели из-за гулей. Он не может дружить, потому что каждый ребенок, каждый человек носит внутри свой задушенный крик и свое кладбище, и если соединить их – боль разорвет его на части. Он отстранен, он не может позволить себе прикоснуться к другому: каждое прикосновение ранит. Ему кажется, что его маленькое кладбище не вынесет больше ни одной могилы. Дети тоже сторонятся его. Они слышали, всё слышали, хоть никто ничего и не рассказывал открыто. Это ведь подозрительно – что гуль мог кого-то вырастить? Что мог съесть других, а одного оставить? Почему – почувствовал родство? Гули для этих сирот – не герои жутких страшилок, а реальность: острый росчерк кагуне, отделивший прошлую жизнь от нынешней, едва затянувшийся шрам через всю душу, вечно болящий рубец. Все это иначе, чем у него. Его гуль оставил не шрам: он вывернул Котаро наизнанку, отравил все связи, кроме одной – как высохшие ветви, которые остается только отрезать; оставил гниющую рану на месте прошлого: вместо всех светлых воспоминаний, всех надежд, всей любви, какая у него была. Оте… Донато Порпора не просто перечеркнул его путь непроходимой рекой: он оставил по обе стороны выжженную пустыню, и все, что Котаро хочется, все, о чем он думает, сидя на берегу и вглядываясь в мутную воду, это перестать существовать. Полное забвение. Его мир так сильно искажен, что не может быть спасен – только уничтожен и пересотворен. Дети косятся на него, когда он молится – до и после еды или перед сном, – Котаро не демонстративен, но на него все равно смотрят. Во взглядах – недоверие. Подозрение. Котаро и сам не до конца понимает, зачем это все. Должно быть, по инерции, как и его жизнь сейчас. Он привык верить, но если все было ложью, то может ли быть, что оно не было ложью до конца? В конечном счете, Донато Порпора забрал у него даже Бога. Просто Котаро пока не может все отдать. Бог ему нужен, Бог помогает ему держаться, помогает запереть крик. Бог ему нужен, даже если никогда не простит его. Даже если его нет. Примерно через месяц после своего спасения Котаро начинает ходить на занятия в Академию. Он не видит в этом смысла, но его жизнь, как обычно, ему не принадлежит, а все эти взрослые – психологи, воспитатели, учителя – ждут от него именно этого. Что он станет нормальным, что будет учиться. Котаро не может стать нормальнее, но добросовестно справляется с остальным: вся эта шелуха помогает ему отвлечься на какое-то время. Недолго. В конце марта от него отказывается психолог. Котаро назначают нового, но он впервые прогуливает сеанс и идет в парк – смотреть на цветущие деревья. Совсем недавно он перестал ежечасно проверять, хорошо ли заперт вход в подвал, не вырвется ли чудовище. Он не хочет, чтобы его снова тревожили. В день рождения неожиданно его навещает Урие-сан и дарит книгу. Котаро рад, если он вообще может быть рад чему-то. В приюте и Академии его поздравляют, потому что так принято, а Урие-сан вообще не должен был приходить. Они находят тихое местечко в сквере возле здания Академии, садятся на лавку и неловко молчат. Котаро думает, что еще не благодарил Урие-сана за спасение, но сказать ничего по-прежнему не может. Слова застревают в горле, он давится ими, как комком слишком жесткой еды. – Прочитай ее, – Урие-сан кивает на книгу в неброском переплете, – не потому что я подарил, а это… это для тебя. Специально. Котаро кивает. Он чувствует глубоко-глубоко внутри робкий росток тепла к этому человеку. Ему хочется посидеть здесь подольше, в стороне от разговоров и суеты, от детей и взрослых, молча подставляя лицо весеннему солнцу, побыть еще немного рядом с кем-то, кому не все равно. Он уйдет сейчас, должно быть, у него же дела и семья, и Котаро со своим молчанием, почти несуществующей привязанностью и запертым в подвале криком ему неинтересен. Урие-сан не уходит. Он говорит:– В сказках, если злодей умирает, чары его спадают и все становится, как прежде. Здесь, – он кивает на книгу у Котаро на коленях, – иначе. Мир был создан прекрасным и чистым, но после того как Враг исказил его, ничто и никогда не станет прежним. Каждая кровопролитная война, каждая рана, каждое преступление – все оставляет следы. Ты же читал Библию. Ты знаешь, что грехопадение не отменить. Они пользуются этим – те, кто искажает мир, – потому что испортить легко, а восстановить как было – невозможно. Они пользуются этим, чтобы заставить нас отчаяться, чтобы обнажить нашу слабость, показать эфемерность наших надежд. Ты ведь знаешь это? Чувствуешь постоянно?Котаро знает и чувствует. Крик ворочается внутри, расправляя серые крылья. По скамье совсем рядом ползет пушистая полосатая гусеница, Котаро думает, что она потерялась, должно быть, подставляет палец и ссаживает ее в траву. – Но это не все, – продолжает Урие-сан, – потому что всегда есть то, что мы можем им противопоставить. Каждый может сделать что-то с отпущенным ему временем, с отпущенными ему силами. С отпущенным ему миром. Много или мало. Иногда гораздо больше, чем казалось изначально. Книга об этом: армии сражаются с армиями, но победа над злом зависит от маленького человека, и он не всегда выдерживает этот груз. Слабость огромна, но слабость обманчива. Мне кажется верным ответ, что дан еще в твоей Библии: делай, что должен, и будь, что будет. «Что должен? А что должен? Что если я не знаю?» – Котаро не смеет этого сказать, но он ведь и правда не знает.Урие-сан, кажется, слышит его мысли, потому что улыбается как-то странно, почти беспомощно:– На этой работе… не всегда мы можем спасти кого-то и никогда – исправить. Но каждый год жизни гуля – это минимум двенадцать погубленных людей. Я думаю об этом, когда мы ловим его или… или убиваем: сколько еще людей он мог съесть только в ближайший год. Мне нужно об этом думать, потому что почти всегда мы не успеваем. Почти всегда приходим слишком поздно. Мы ровно ничего не можем сделать для погибших, кроме как почтить их память, все остальное – для живых. Для тех, кто должен остаться, кто должен никого не встретить в темном переулке и никого не потерять. Каждый раз я чувствую себя очень слабым – на шаг позади зла. Но если бы никто не преследовал его, не наступал на пятки, то мы и не сидели бы здесь с тобой, наверное… – Урие-сан долго молчит, глядя куда-то внутрь себя, и Котаро молчит тоже, неосознанно поглаживая гладкий прохладный переплет. – Это то, что я должен делать, мне кажется. И я буду, пока не умру. Но что делать тебе, я не знаю. Кроме одного: выйди оттуда. Из подвала, где сидишь и ждешь лживого старика. Он заменил тебе мир на время, но он не весь мир, не все, что есть и будет. Он тебя обманул, как Змей в райском саду обманул людей, он дал тебе вкусить ложь и горечь, и то, что ни один человек вкушать не должен, но теперь время для другой истории. Каждому: грешнику, отступнику, обманутому – положено милосердие. Искаженный мир не станет прежним, но может быть исцелен. Нашими усилиями и чем-то еще… чем-то большим. Если ты христианин, ты должен лучше меня знать об этом. Урие-сан переводит дух, а Котаро щурится, глядя на солнце. Глаза слезятся от ярких лучей. Он думает: «Как мне выйти? Мне нельзя выйти. Это несправедливо, ведь они все останутся там. Я должен быть с ними. Я всегда должен был оставаться с ними». Голос Урие-сана звучит у него в голове.«Мы ровно ничего не можем сделать для погибших, кроме как почтить их память, все остальное – для живых».Котаро думает: «Как я отдам этот долг живым? Что мне сделать для них? Как… как оправдать свое существование?»Он задыхается – это крик душит его, стискивает, давит, убивает. Донато Порпора смеется над ним. Он всегда будет смеяться, даже в тюрьме, даже в аду. «Спасите меня, – молит Котаро беззвучно, – кто-нибудь, спасите меня!» Может ли он просить об этом, если сам никого не спас?Солнце режет глаза нестерпимо, и Котаро отворачивается, ничего не видя сквозь слезы, кроме разноцветных бликов. Урие-сан придвигается ближе, обнимает его, и Котаро плачет навзрыд у него на груди впервые с того дня, когда крик появился на свет. От Урие-сана пахнет домом и войной. Котаро думает: «Это не драконы сражались в часовне в тот день. Там был только один дракон и рыцари, что сокрушили его». – У каждого из нас всегда есть и будут те, кого мы не спасли. – Голос Урие-сана полон солнца и печали. – Тем важнее жить дальше и защищать других. Зашивать прорехи и залечивать раны. Преследовать зло. До тех пор, пока мир не будет исцелен. Котаро, пока ты жив, он победил не до конца. Не дай ему победить. – И еще он говорит: – Я верю в тебя.Солнце плавит доски заколоченного наглухо подвала и греет замерзшего мальчика, что запер себя внутри вместе с мертвецами. Он хочет выйти, он хочет к живым хотя бы на время, пока не спасет кого-то, пока не искупит… но его вина безмерна – ее нельзя искупить, значит, пока не умрет и ад не вступит в свои права. *Ему снятся рыцари в сияющей броне, сражающиеся с драконом в часовне, перед ликом Господа. Дракон долго притворялся человеком, но его раскрыли, и теперь он сметает все вокруг огромным чешуйчатым хвостом, пытается ухватить рыцарей сильными цепкими лапами и запихнуть в огромную пасть. Дыхание его – яд, а не огонь, кто вдохнет – будет навек отравлен. Дракон защищает свою жизнь. Дракон защищает свое дитя. «Ложь! Ложь! Не его дитя! Не его!»Котаро просыпается в предутренней темноте под назойливый шум дождя и долго смотрит в окно на сплошную завесу, за которой не различишь ничего. Он, кажется, понимает, что должен делать дальше. Он хочет спасти кого-то от дракона. Кого-то, кого еще можно. Он хочет стать рыцарем. «Ты ел их, Котаро. Ты знаешь, что за существа питаются людьми. – Голос звучит в нем, заставляя сжиматься и тревожно ворочаться запертое в подвале чудовище с разверстой раной внутри. – Ты не рыцарь. Ты мое непослушное дитя, мой любимый сын, который не хочет иного, кроме как остаться со мной. Ты мой. Ты такой же как я: детеныш дракона, вылупившийся из человеческого яйца. Кто еще примет тебя и поймет? Кто еще будет так любить тебя?».«Ты лжешь, – думает Котаро, отчаянно хватаясь за голову, – лжешь, всегда лгал!» – Он бьет себя, но голос только смеется и никуда не девается. Котаро хочет сбежать, он поднимается вверх по лестнице к выходу, спотыкаясь и ссаживая ноги. Люк заколочен. Котаро сам это сделал, сам замуровал себя. Он берется за неструганые доски и тянет, пытаясь оторвать их, выломать, но сил не хватает. Он не сможет. Он слишком слаб. Смеющийся голос заполняет собой темные своды подвала. Крик внутри Котаро подобно бомбе с часовым механизмом отсчитывает секунды до взрыва, после которого здесь не останется ничего живого. Ад смотрит из черного провала знакомыми глазами с сеткой морщин в уголках. Улыбается, отечески и почти сочувственно. Ад ждет. Руки Котаро в крови и занозах, но он будто не чувствует боли. Он вцепляется в доски из последних сил, зная уже, какой будет итог, но не желая смириться. Дождь наверху смоет пыль и грязь, и утро будет свежим, как улыбка ребенка после пролитых слез. Он хочет увидеть это утро и следующее за ним. Он хочет, чтобы это было не зря, чтобы хоть что-то было не зря. «Простите меня, Юске, Акие, Казуки, Наоки, Тацио, Яно… Простите меня, простите меня, простите меня…»Он поднимает заплаканное лицо вверх, туда, откуда должна прийти помощь, последняя и чудесная помощь. Там только дощатая крышка гроба. Он умер во сне и оказался здесь. Он предал их всех, обрек на смерть в безвестности и темноте, как может сам он желать иной смерти? – Простите меня, – шепчет он как безумный, садясь на ступеньки и закрывая руками лицо, – простите, простите… – Котаро? – Он вздрагивает и поднимает глаза. Внизу, у первой ступеньки стоит Наоки, почти прозрачный и окутанный свечением, неярким и теплым. Он мертвенно бледен, а на животе у него огромная рана: кровавое пятно расползлось по рубашке и уже подсохло. Котаро вспоминает невольно, как Донато Порпора разделывал Наоки в одной из этих кладовок, а ему не позволил сбежать, и казалось тогда, что он выблюет в грязное эмалированное ведро свои внутренности. Там стоял густой терпкий запах крови и рвоты, и больше всего на свете Котаро хотел потерять сознание. «Он пришел за мной», – думает Котаро как-то отстраненно и почти спокойно. В подвале становится светлее, и Котаро замечает остальных: Юске и Яно, Казуки, Акие, Тацио. Он видит внизу их бледные силуэты, будто чуть подсвеченные фонарем. Он хочет испугаться, но ему удивительно не страшно.«Это справедливо, что они заберут меня, накажут меня. Я заслужил».Наоки поднимается к нему и садится на ступеньку рядом. Лицо у него строгое и серьезное, некоторое время Котаро вглядывается в него, но потом опускает глаза. Он ждет, что Наоки что-то скажет, хоть кто-нибудь из них что-то скажет, но его братья молчат.– Вы пришли за мной? – произносит Котаро первое и единственное, что пришло в голову.Наоки смотрит на него с печальным интересом и медленно кивает. «Господи, – думает Котаро, внезапно обмирая от леденящей и почти абсолютной безысходности, – не оставляй меня, прошу, только не оставляй. Будь со мной, когда это случится».Котаро хочет еще что-то спросить: про смерть и то, что случается после, но слова застревают в горле. В конце концов он и сам скоро все узнает. В голове мелькает малодушная мысль, что можно еще попытаться оправдаться – Котаро отбрасывает ее. – Ты просил прощения, – наконец говорит Наоки. – За что?«Разве ты не знаешь? – думает Котаро с тоской. – Разве не понял все-все, когда он убивал тебя? Разве не открываются мертвым тайны этого мира?»Он не может произнести этого, просто не может. Крик взрезает его изнутри, ломает ребра и раздирает грудную клетку, готовый вырваться и заполнить собой весь мир. Котаро обхватывает себя руками и сжимает что есть сил, чтобы сдержать его, не пустить. Пульс в виске бьется со знакомым глухим стуком молотка. «Отбивай лучше, Котаро, я не люблю жесткое мясо»Спасите меня. Спасите. Спасите. Кто-нибудь!Он заставляет себя смотреть Наоки в глаза и произносит медленно и отчетливо, будто впечатывая слова намертво в свой приговор:– Я знал, что он убьет тебя. Тебя, Яно и Тацио. И молчал. Могильная плита тяжело опускается на него, придавливая грудь. Котаро кажется, что в углу рта скопилось слишком много крови и теперь она стекает вниз тонкой струей. Он улыбается Наоки или корчит гримасу – неважно. Он больше не может ни выдохнуть, ни вдохнуть.«Я молчал, и теперь крик разрывает меня изнутри. Я молчал, и теперь должен умереть, чтобы сдержать его. Юске, Казуки, Акие… я так долго жил в неведении и был счастлив, когда вы умирали… Тацио, Яно, Наоки – я убил вас молчанием, я убил вас, как Каин Авеля, и гнев господень теперь взыскует меня, и мне не выдержать, не выдержать его! Урие-сан ошибся, потому что я знал, знал, я ел плоды с этого дерева с открытыми глазами! Я видел Змея и не смел отказаться, и он заберет меня в ад, заберет к себе, где мне и место. Где… Господи, не отворачивайся от меня, не отворачивайся, потому что я не вынесу всей этой тьмы!»Становится вдруг легко, будто могильная плита сверху куда-то исчезла, оставляя после себя только боль сломанных ребер и раздавленную грудь. Котаро судорожно дышит, и спертый воздух подвала кажется ему океанским бризом. Наоки обнимает его, прижимается щекой к щеке и шепчет с улыбкой в голосе: – Мне нашелся дом. Нам всем нашелся. Это правда, Котаро. Он такой теплый, несмотря на то, что мертв давно. Или… может, он никогда по-настоящему не умирал? Наоки сжимает его ладонь и говорит серьезно: – Я не хочу, чтобы ты остался здесь. Это неправильно. Никто из нас не хочет. Есть то, что можешь теперь сделать только ты. Вырасти. Помнить о нас. Не позволить никому больше запутаться в этой сети. Ты же сделаешь это? – Наоки смотрит на него с надеждой. Все они смотрят на него с надеждой. Чудовище забивается в дальний угол, уступая их свету и теплу, ложится на дно, чтобы дождаться там своего часа. Истекающий кровью раненый зверь, чей крик никогда не утихнет. Котаро встает и снова хватается за доски руками. Наоки и остальные ребята помогают ему, тяжелое дерево наконец поддается, и в прорехи меж выдранных досок льется свет. Там, наверху, уже утро и дождь давно закончился. Котаро щурится и продолжает ломать свой гроб, будто вырывает зубы у огромной, проглотившей его пасти. «Я не умру, – думает он отчаянно, – не умру, не умру. Я не дам тебе победить». Когда зубы зверя оказываются вырваны, Котаро высовывает голову из люка и несколько мгновений задыхается от нахлынувшего на него воздуха, купаясь в его стремительных потоках. Он смотрит вниз, еле различая тающие в ярком утреннем свете силуэты своих братьев, а потом спускается на пару ступеней, протягивает руку к Наоки и натыкается на пустоту. Наоки улыбается так беззаботно, что у Котаро сжимается сердце:– Иди, уже пора. Мы будем молиться о тебе, Котаро. – Спасибо. – Он не знает, говорит ли это вслух или только в своей голове, но уверен, что они все слышат. – Наоки, Тацио, Казуки, Юске, Яно, Акие. Я буду помнить о вас. Все время, пока живу. Его мертвые братья растворяются в лучах утреннего солнца, а Котаро выходит на свет из раззявленной беззубой пасти подвала. Чудовище утробно рычит где-то там, в глубине, переворачивая на другой бок свою больную тяжелую тушу. «Нет, – думает Котаро, – я не дам тебе вырваться. Никогда». Он захлопывает крышку так резко, что облачко пыли на миг поднимается воздух и оседает, колеблемое ветром, будто танцуя. Котаро выдергивает из своего сердца блестящие, красные от крови стальные гвозди и ими заколачивает люк снова. Не будет он больше слабым и слепым. Никогда не будет. Он станет рыцарем, что победит дракона. Он защитит их: других детей, еще не убитых, не проглоченных ненасытной пастью, не разделанных на части в темной кладовке. Это то, что он должен делать – пока дышит, пока живет, пока мир все еще так чудовищно искажен, пока он не отдаст им долг, который невозможно отдать. Амон Котаро выходит из своего подвала, но подвал навсегда остается в нем: с маленьким кладбищем детских неупокоенных душ и запертым непрорвавшимся криком внутри. Он помнит, что, если люк когда-нибудь откроется, этот мир перестанет существовать.
11357373	A Bear at the Heart of	{ "Archive Warning": null, "Category": "F/M", "Characters": "Jorah Mormont, Daenerys Targaryen, Tyrion Lannister, Grey Worm", "Fandom": "Game of Thrones (TV)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Mature", "author": "by ArtzPen", "chapters": "2/?", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-30T00:00:00", "words": "8,136", "Additional Tags": "Friendship, Romance, Humor, Adventure", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "Jorah Mormont/Daenerys Targaryen, Jorah Mormont & Daenerys Targaryen", "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": "Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death", "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	He did it, he had cured his Greyscale, just like his Khaleesi had ordered him to do! He had managed to find a medical prodigy in Braavos, the free city. She was not old, just 15 years or so, which means she was a very young woman, who still had much more to accomplish in her life. That does not mean curing Greyscale was a small feat, it was, in fact, one of the biggest medical wonders in many years since many had started to believe that Greyscale was “Incurable.”Jorah thanked the woman immensely (he paid her as well, he’s not a savage after all), and walked out of the small house where she treated the ill and injured.The sun had started to rise.He set out to find his horse at the stables and would hopefully be able to get an early start back to Meereen. He walked towards the stables that were located towards the east gate of the town, and after that, he would see if he could find someone who would be able to transport him to Meereen by sea since it would be almost twice as fast. Maybe he even could stop by King’s Landing to, putting it mildly, cut the balls of the person who sent his pardon. But that would be suicide, which would sadly interfere with his queen’s orders. Otherwise, he would be glad to do it.Once he had arrived by the stables, he saw a hooded, and very mysterious man, standing in front of the stable where he had kept his horse, calmly looking out over the busy streets. He had a sheathed steel sword hanging on the side of his waist, and light leather all over his body.The man looked up from the streets, and then looked right at Ser Jorah, and then calmly walked towards him. When he stopped about a meter away from Jorah, he said, “You’re Ser Jorah, are you not?” Jorah looked at him perplexed for a second, then answered, “Yes I am, good man, but who might you be?” The man looked at the busy street for a moment, and then answered hastily, “My name is not important; we need to talk, however, but not here, it’s too crowded, and someone might overhear.” Jorah looked at the man critically for a moment, and agreed, although hesitantly.“My friends and I own an establishment not very far from here where we could talk,” The man said with a whisper, and started walking away, through an alleyway to the left. Jorah looked around for a moment and then started following him, although carefully with slow and easy steps, ready for an ambush if it were to come to that.The alleyway was not as crowded as the rest of the city, in fact, it was almost empty, except for a few baskets stapled by the wall. They walked in silence for a few minutes, and then Jorah asked curiously, “Who are you and your friends anyway?” The man’s answer was the same as last time he asked a question about him, “That’s not important,” The man answered with a slightly aggravated tone. Jorah just rolled his eyes and continued to follow the strange man.When they arrived at the end of the alleyway, Jorah saw that they were in the middle of a square, between a few houses. “These houses are owned by me! And my friends, of course,” The man said with pride. Jorah looked at the different houses; they weren’t all that much. They were simple wooden houses; they were slightly broken-down too. The walls, and presumably the roof as well as the floor, had even started to rot; Jorah, was not impressed.So, he told the man, as politely as he could, “These houses kind of look like… hmm… Okay, there is no polite way to say this; they look like they belong to the poorest house owners in the world…” The man was not amused. “It’s not the outside that matters, it’s the inside,” The man said, trying to make the houses seem like they would be worthwhile, “or at least what’s in them.” The man turned around and faced Jorah; lowered his hood and showed the sick smile beneath, as well as his completely bald head. Then he yelled, “Men! You can come out now!” Five men stormed out of the buildings around the square; spears and swords in hand. “So, how does it feel to soon be dead?” Jorah smiled at the man and said with a slight hint of amusement, “Feels like it did about - 3 days ago.”The man lost his smile and gritted his teeth, “Men… Kill him!”One of the bandits who had a spear stepped forward, ready to charge at Jorah. In turn, Jorah took a defensive position; the bandit charged. Jorah quickly stepped to the side and did a vertical strike to cut the spear in half. The bandit stared at Jorah, disoriented and afraid; Jorah cut off his head, and his last thoughts were probably somewhere along the lines of, “Fuck my life.” (Which he then lost so that he won’t have that problem again!)The second bandit with a spear in hand looked at his fallen comrade, then dropped the spear and ran away in fear. “Always was a coward that one; sometimes I wonder why I recruited him to begin with...” Said one of the bandits, slightly shaking his head, the other silently agreed; completely forgetting his enemy. Jorah, as any seasoned warrior would do, took the advantage and killed the closest one while he had the chance. That meant that he had killed half of the bandits thanks to their asininity.The last three bandits looked at Jorah with infuriated faces and started to circle him, a very smart tactic – for them at least - not that it would help all that much, being that Jorah is, after all, a fully trained Knight.One of the bandits started charging towards Jorah; he dodged it very gracefully – not though, the charge managed to put him off balance. The presumed bandit leader – because he seemed to be the only one with brains – saw what happened, and tried to slash Jorah’s arm; the strike managed to graze his skin lightly, and a drop of blood fell to the ground. He clutched his arm lightly; it wasn’t deep – still hurt like hell though, mind you – and he continued fighting.The fact, however, that their leader had managed actually to hurt Jorah, inspired them, and they started to become much more confident. So, one of the bandits – in his newfound arrogance – thought he could take Jorah on easily in a one-man fight; he walked in front of Jorah, and tried to strike him with a vertical swing; Jorah moved to the side, easily evading the blade, and cut off the arm that had swung the sword – the blood flowing like a river – and then kicked him to the ground. The bandit screamed in absolute pain – until he died of blood loss.The last two bandits, managed to use their brains (I know, use their brains? Completely unbelievable…) to realize that, if they attacked together, they would be much more likely to take him out.So, they circled Jorah until they were on the complete opposite sides of him; the leader made a vertical strike, while the other bandit made a horizontal one; making it look like Jorah had no way out of death. Jorah, however, managed to roll away from both of the blades, and proceed to cut off the leg of one of the bandits. (he’s surprisingly agile for his age…)The bandit fell to the ground; Jorah walked over and pierced his heart.This left the bandit leader, now alone with Jorah, looked at him with a mix of dread and fury. He knew he most likely was going to die – but he would sure as hell not give up to an old man!The bald bandit leader started to become filled with absolute rage, rushed at Jorah, swinging his blade blindly. Jorah easily dodged it, and the bandit leader still rushed forward, still blinded by his rage. He continued running till he hit the wall beside the entrance of the square, and immediately got knocked out by the impact.Jorah walked over to the knocked-out bandit leader, crouched by his side, and then slowly cut his throat. Then proceeded to search the body to see if he could find a clue about who would like to have him killed – since the bandit couldn’t have known he was here otherwise, or would’ve recognized him.It took a while – it wasn’t on the leader’s body, interestingly enough – but on one of his henchmen, the spearman Jorah had killed in the first place. It was a note, containing orders to have him killed, a description of his appearance, and what he had been trying to do, and it was signed by… No-One.He just crouched over the body for a few seconds, silently contemplating whom No-One was.He rose, setting out of the square, and into the cramped, and very empty, alleyway. Nothing had changed since the last time he walked through, except one thing, an arrow stuck to the wall. There was also a purse with some gold attached to it as well, making Jorah very inquisitive about its meaning.Jorah took the purse – because it could be a clue hidden in it, not for the money… Then opened it where he found a note that read, “This is a partial prepayment for a job well done.”Jorah thought about the note as he started moving again, clearly, this No-One had underestimated him if he thought a group of bandits would be able to take him out, meaning that he probably didn’t know Jorah very well…Jorah continued this line of thought and walked out on the streets. Where he then walked to the stables (again) determined to set out on the path to his Queen. He found his russet brown horse, paid the stable manager, and proceeded to ride out of Braavos.He had decided not to take a boat because it would be excessively easy to make him “have an accident”; thus, he set out toward the south-eastern mountains. Somewhere along the Braavosi Coastlands Jorah set up camp in a secluded area between some big rocks so that he would be slightly concealed at least. While the sun started to set to the west, the last rays of its light touching the eastern mountain tops. He lashed his horse to a pole, right next to a big patch of grass, and gave him an apple.Then found some stones and sticks to start a small fire so he could see what he was doing; then put up the small leather tent he had with him.He had just started taking out his fur sleeping mat and blanket, when he heard a sound behind him, something was moving in the newly cast darkness…Jorah took out his blade, ready to strike whomever – or whatever – it was. It was, in fact, a man, but one who held his hands high above his head in a gesture of surrender, and screamed, “Don’t kill me, don’t kill me, please don’t kill me… I’m just a poor traveler; traveling from Braavos to Pentos…”The man truly looked quite frightened Jorah thought; he didn’t seem to have any weapons either. “I just saw that you had a fire and a tent; I thought maybe I could take refuge here in your camp for the night,” The man said with a jittery voice, as he slowly walked towards Jorah and the burning campfire.Jorah inspected him warily – the recent “adventure” in Braavos having him quite suspicious of strangers; the man had no weapons, he concluded. “All right then, come and sit by the fire if you want,” He said to the poor man, as he started putting his mat and blanket the way he wanted.When he turned around and sat by the fire, he took note of the man’s appearance. He had short, black unkempt hair, and a small faded scar under his right eye. The man looked quite skinny as well, showing that he hasn’t had enough to eat for quite a long time.“So, what makes you do this journey to Pentos?” Jorah asked the man curiously. “I’ve had it quite hard in Braavos for a long time, so, I decided to travel to Pentos – for a chance at a better life,” The man answered with clear hope in his eyes, removing any doubt Jorah had about the man’s intentions. Then the man asked in correspondence, “But what brings you to Pentos – after all, you don’t seem poor? You look quite knightly to me!” Jorah looked at the man for a moment, deciding if he would tell the truth or not – he would not. “I was thinking about travelling to Westeros, but the captains in Braavos take way too much of a pay for their services, hence why I think Pentos is my best chance.”The man nodded in understanding and then said, “Yes, people have always complained about how steep the prices are in Braavos – it may be a free city, but certainly not for your wallet!” Then the man guffawed at his own joke – even though it wasn’t very good; Jorah forced a laugh in return.When they were done laughing, Jorah realized that he hadn’t asked the man about his name, “What is your name, good man? I forgot to ask…” “It’s Nakeqor Irroris,” The man answered with a smile, “What’s yours?”Jorah hesitated, then answered, “Jorah – Ser Jorah Mormont of Bear Island.”“Ah, so you are a knight after all! You have that look about you,” The man said happily; Jorah’s face fell.All this talk about him being a knight made him think about his past, the past where he was exiled from Westeros, the time when his Queen, whom he had served faithfully (kind of) for a long time, banished him from her domain – never to return. She had, however, reinstated him as her knight after he saved her life when the fighting pits in Meereen was attacked by the Sons of the Harpy.“You look quite crestfallen, Jorah.” It was a statement – a statement that took Jorah out of his reverie. “Just thinking about the past,” Jorah said, forcing a smile towards Nakeqor.“Must have been quite the troublesome past, by the look on your face,” Nakeqor said, not buying his smile; Jorah laughed, and said, “Guess you could say that, my friend.” Nakeqor looked at Jorah with a jubilant expression, “You’re probably the first person ever to call me friend, and we’ve barely met. Most people though, find me poor and quite odious.”Jorah looked at the man with a sympathetic look, “Well, you don’t seem odious to me, Nakeqor – and if it’s any comfort, there is this one person whom I thought looked at me that way, but recently that seems to have changed, once she thought I managed to redeem myself.”“Ah, a woman, eh, that’s always when it’s the most hurtful, isn’t it? What is her name?”Jorah – who had started to trust this man – told him, “Daenerys.”“Daenerys? Sounds Valyrian…” Nakeqor said curiously, “Where does she come from? If you don’t mind me asking?”“Westeros,” Jorah answered sternly.“Westeros? Interesting… Which House would decide to name their daughter with a Valyrian name, I wonder?” Nakeqor asked, “Before I would say the Targaryens, but now… I don’t know?”“She is a Targaryen – probably the last Targaryen,” Jorah said with a small, hesitant smile; he wasn’t sure he should tell Nakeqor all this – but fuck it – what could such a poor man do?Nakeqor looked at Jorah with astonishment, “And here I was, thinking that the last Targaryens had been eradicated – clearly wrong I see,” Nakeqor smiled, “Where is she now if you don’t mind me asking?”Jorah started to smile a bit with pride when Nakeqor asked, “She is the Queen of Meereen, and that’s where she’s located right now, I’m guessing.” “Really? How did she manage to become Queen of Meereen?” Nakeqor asked eagerly.“Well, she birthed three dragons, and then got an army of 8000 Unsullied,” Jorah said, reliving these moments, “then she managed to get the Second Sons on her side as well – after that, it was all quite easy.”“Wow, that sure is an adventure I must hear more about – but now I’m quite hungry… You wouldn’t have anything for me to eat, do you?” Nakeqor asked with a hint of embarrassment.“We met barely an hour ago, and you’re already asking for food…” Jorah chuckled, “I may have a little bit of meat in my saddle pack, but you’ll have to cook it yourself!” “Thank you so, so much, I haven’t had anything to eat for a long time…” Nakeqor said happily.They took a sharp stick each, and started cooking their meat over the fire; they joked and laughed for the rest of the evening, and then went to sleep around the fire – Jorah in his tent of course. 8 hours later Jorah woke up to the sound of someone coughing; he sat up, and let out a big yawn, and looked at Nakeqor. “Well, you finally woke up Jorah,” Nakeqor said, “I was beginning to fear that someone had assassinated you sometime through the night; I’m glad I was wrong.”Jorah smiled at Nakeqor, and asked, “Maybe we should break our fast and get moving?” “Sounds like an excellent idea!” Nakeqor answered with joy, “Maybe you want some of the meat I’m cooking over the fire?”“Did you take my meat while I slept, and started cooking it?!” Jorah began, “You’re nothing more than a common thief,” Jorah finished jokingly; he missed the flash of fear on Nakeqor’s face. “Yeah, I am,” Nakeqor said and glared jokingly at Jorah. “But seriously, it will be done in a few minutes.”“Thanks, I appreciate it,” Jorah said, standing up and walking out of the tent, “But before we eat, I’ll give the horse an apple; grass must be a very repetitive taste,” Jorah japed. Nakeqor laughed, and said, “Must be… I’ll see to the meat in the meantime.”Jorah walked over to his horse – Maqhor, it’s a Ghiscari name – and opened the saddlebag; took out an apple, and fed Maqhor; the horse neighed his thanks.Jorah walked back to the fire – just in time for the meat too – and started talking with Nakeqor about his Greyscale infection – or more like a curse.“But I thought Greyscale was incurable?” Nakeqor had said with a disbelieving expression, when Jorah told him he had been cured, “The closest thing to curing it that anybody has come, is stopping its progress…”“I thought so for a long time as well, but I never gave up,” Jorah said with a massive smile, feeling very comfortable with his new companion. “How’d she do it though, I wonder?” “She made this… pastry – I call it, the Weird Goo, though – and put it on my infected arm.”Nakeqor looked at him skeptically, and asked, “But wouldn’t that just infect her? After all, she touched you, didn’t she?”Jorah chuckled, “That’s what I thought too. But nothing happened to her at all, and my Greyscale was just gone!” Nakeqor suddenly looked very seriously at him, “That sounds like witchcraft to me…” “But magic can’t cure Greyscale. Otherwise, it wouldn’t be nearly as feared as it is…” Jorah said, taking offense that Nakeqor didn’t think he had thought of that. “That’s true… I wonder why she isn’t more renowned than she is. After all, I’ve never heard of her.”They sat there and broke their fast, and Nakeqor helped Jorah put his small tent and mat back on the saddle – otherwise, he would be quite ungrateful – and Jorah thanked him for the help.“Then we’re off to Pentos,” Jorah said, “But, I’ve just got one horse. Maybe you could ride behind me?”Nakeqor looked surprised, “Here I was, thinking I would have to walk to Pentos. But then you just come along and tell me I can ride with you?”“Hmm, yeah. We’re going to the same destination, and it’s more pleasant to have company while you travel – and you won’t have to worry about Greyscale either,” Jorah said chuckling. “I’ll gladly travel with you,” Nakeqor said – also chuckling lightly – and walked over to Jorah; jumped up on the back-end of the saddle. And then, they were off. 5 hours later “You know, I’ve heard that there are bandits in these mountains,” Nakeqor told Jorah, “And they’re supposed to be real nasty stuff.” Jorah guffawed, “Yeah, most bandits are.”“That is very true my friend,” Nakeqor said, then it was quiet for a while.“If you do not mind me asking – why are you traveling to Westeros?” Nakeqor asked raising his right eyebrow; Jorah was quiet for a while before he answered, “I’m not traveling to Westeros.”“What?” Nakeqor began questioningly, “But you told me that you would find a boat to Westeros in Pentos – hence why you were traveling there.”“That was because I did not trust you then, you see. I had recently been tricked and attacked, which made think that maybe you were a part of this group.” Jorah said with a regretful face as he turned his head to look at Nakeqor.“Wow,” He said, “Where are you traveling then, and why?”“I’m traveling to Meereen to get back to Daenerys, you see, she was the one who told me to cure my Greyscale,” Jorah said, revealing his plan to Nakeqor. “Hah, seems like it’s always about a girl nowadays,” Nakeqor said, “Although from what I’ve heard, this one's seems pretty special – are you two close?”Jorah looked at him with a sorrowful face, “We were, but then everything changed – now I’m just happy to be called her Knight.” Nakeqor looked at him with a sympathetic smile, “That is tough, how close were you – before that, I mean?”“I was her closest friend,” Jorah answered, his face showing even more sorrow.Nakeqor started saying something when suddenly he closed his mouth and looked up with a look of fear.On the edge of the cliff above them, there were men with bows, aimed straight at Jorah and Nakeqor.They were clad in leather armor, cloaks, and big hoods; all in gray, camouflaging them in the mountains. “Whom is it that travels on this perilous path?” The middle one asked with a raspy voice, entirely devoid of emotion.“Just normal travelers on their way to Pentos,” Nakeqor said – although he had a hint of fear in his voice. “You don’t seem like normal travelers to me. The one in front of you looks to me like a Knight,” Another one of the men said.“Thank you for the kind words. However, I’m not a knight, I’m just a sell-sword,” Jorah said with a very persuasive voice. “Really, and who has hired you?” Said one of the men furthest away from them. “This man behind me, of course; why else would he be allowed to travel with me?”“Looks too poor to be able to hire anybody,” The middle man said. “I saved up for a long time, so this man would escort me to Pentos,” Nakeqor said a lot more confidently this time. “Wow, really then, good thing he’s here then,” The middle man began, “’cause I think we will steal all your shit.”Jorah saw this coming, and had hurried on Maqhor, thus they galloped towards one of the big slate stones in front of them; they got there just in time to avoid the first volley of arrows fired at them, then they continued galloping at full speed, Maqhor seeming to understand the situation and ran faster than usual. The men on the ledge running after them.“You don’t think your horse could run a little bit faster, do you?” Nakeqor said with clear panic in his voice. “He probably could – that is if two people weren’t riding on him at the same time,” Jorah answered, “Unless you want me to throw you off that is.” Nakeqor looked at him with worry, “You wouldn’t do that, would you?”“Of course not,” Jorah said unconvincingly – contemplating the idea in his head. “Thank the Gods…” Nakeqor said and let out a massive sigh. He looked calm for a second – then an arrow zoomed by his face, and he started panicking again.They full on galloped until they got to a blockade that the bandits had set up in the small mountain pass they were riding through; they had to figure something out, and fast. The blockade was made out of big rocks they had rolled down into the pass, and archers on both sides of said pass.“Well, Jorah, it was good meeting you. But I think this is where our journey ends,” Nakeqor said with a mixture of fear and joy – probably due to the panic going to his head, Jorah thought.When they galloped right for the blockade, and the archers made themselves ready to fire a volley of arrows; Nakeqor said something that Jorah could’ve kissed him for, “There’s a pass in the mountain to the left, big enough for the horse and us!” He had said pointing at the pass he had seen in his despair, it was in the mountain wall that was curved in a way so that the bandits couldn’t possibly have seen it.Jorah steered Maqhor towards the pass, the horse being reluctant at first, till he saw the small pass, and started to speed up; they got inside just in time to avoid the arrows swooshing past them.“Thank gods,” Jorah said as Maqhor still ran at full speed away from the danger. Jorah had missed that one of the arrows had grazed Nakeqor’s shoulder; blood slowly trickling down to his fingers. That was ‘til the point where Nakeqor’s shock wore off, and he moaned loudly in pain – clutching his bleeding shoulder.“Jorah, hrrrg, you don’t happen to be able to slow your horse down a bit so I can bandage my shoulder without falling off?” Nakeqor asked, grunting in pain. Jorah slowed Maqhor down to a slow pace; Nakeqor ripped off a piece of his clothes, and slowly bandaged his shoulder.“Can you do it a little bit faster? They could be right behind us!” Jorah said to him with a harsh voice.“I will, I will! But it’s hard to bandage something with just one arm you know!” Nakeqor answered as he finished bandaging his arm. “Okay, I’m done.” Jorah hurried Maqhor up to a quick canter down the path.A few minutes later, they still saw no end of the tunnel, “Jorah, do you think we’re going to die in here?” Nakeqor whined – for the 20th time thus far. “No more now than the last nineteen times you asked,” Jorah growled in response. Nakeqor could be really pleasant company – sometimes – but when you were running from danger, he was certainly not.An additional ten minutes later, Jorah saw the light from the end of the tunnel. “Nakeqor, I see the end of the tunnel,” Jorah told Nakeqor who had started sleeping on his shoulder. “YEEEEES, WE’LL LIVE!” He yelled out – he had clearly been thinking they were going to die in this cave…Maqhor abruptly broke into a full-on gallop out of the cave, neighing the whole way happily.“C’mon Maqhor, faster!” Nakeqor told the horse, he was just as happy as the horse about leaving the cave. “I have to agree with you on that point,” Jorah said.The cave ended just before a hill, and when they reached the top of said hill, they saw Pentos in the distance.“Nakeqor, Pentos is right there!” Jorah said, happy that their goal was just within reach; then everything went black… ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Daenerys was standing at the front end of her flagship, watching the dragons play. Rhaegal flying around Drogon – he did some spins as well, of course – while at same time getting chased by Viserion. The times when Viserion actually caught up to him, he would slightly nip at the end of Rhaegal’s tail. And Rhaegal would speed up – not before hitting Viserion on the nose with his tail first though…“Ah, I see you’re watching your dragons play this lovely afternoon,” Tyrion said, whistling as he came up beside her. “Yes, it calms me,” Daenerys said with a distant expression.“Well, I’m sorry to interrupt, Your Grace. But we saw it fitting to have a meeting discussing a matter of strategy,” Tyrion said while turning to her, “and it would be very fitting of the Queen to show up at this meeting.”Daenerys was quiet for a few seconds, “You decided to hold a meeting, without asking me first?”“Yes, Your Grace. Is that not allowed?”Daenerys looked at Tyrion with an unreadable expression, “I guess I can allow it, this time – but next time you ask for my permission first…” Daenerys said in the end, her voice full of annoyance. “Yes, Your Grace,” Tyrion said as he walked away.Daenerys watched the dragons play for a while more – to calm her nerves – and when the dragons flew higher and higher, and further away, and one could barely see them in the distance, she turned around and walked across the ship to the poop deck (Why the fuck is it called that?), where they would hold their meeting.When she turned up at the poop deck, the others were gathered around a table with a map of Westeros on it; Daenerys took her place, glanced at the others with an authoritative look, and said, “So, what are the concerns that call forth this meeting?”“The concerns, are that we have no idea where to land this massive fleet,” Tyrion said as he looked at the map with a pondering look on his face. “Can’t we just land the fleet at Dragonstone? And plan the rest of the conquest of Westeros there?” Daenerys asked Tyrion.“No, we can’t. The fleet is too big to ever be able to land at Dragonstone,” Tyrion answered, pointing at the map, as to prove his point.Daenerys looked at Missandei and Grey Worm, and asked, “Do any of you have anything to come up with as a solution to this issue?” Missandei and Grey Worm stood there quiet for a while, then Missandei answered, “We’ve never been to Westeros before, My Queen; we can’t really give any input on the matter.”“Me neither,” Daenerys began as she shifted her gaze back to Tyrion, “That means you have to figure it out, and if you do… I’ll be in my cabin.”Daenerys turned around, “Missandei, will you follow me down to my cabin, to give your Queen company?”“Yes, Your Grace,” Missandei answered as she walked up beside her. Then both proceeded down deck, and into her cabin.“Missandei, can you be take these insects out of my hair? For some reason, these sea insects seem to love it…” Daenerys said, “Yes, My Queen,” Missandei said as she took out a chair that Daenerys could sit on as she fixed her hair.Missandei began to take out insects – as well other things Daenerys didn’t want in her hair, while at the same time fixing it into the hairstyle Daenerys wanted – in complete silence. “My Queen, I noticed that Ser Jorah didn’t return when you and Daario did, even though he set out with Daario to find you,” Missandei said after a while, curious.Daenerys was quiet, “Did you banish him again?” Missandei asked, “Or did he die? Or leave?” At this point, Daenerys felt a strange sadness in her chest, although she did not know why.She then said with a slightly tremulous voice, “No, I did not banish him. He didn’t leave either. Or die for that matter.”“What happened then, Your Grace?” Missandei asked, even more inquisitive than before.“I sent him away,” Daenerys began, her voice growing more confident again, “but not to banish him, but to cure his,” Her voice became tremulous again, “illness…”Missandei stopped fixing her hair for a moment, she might as well have been frozen in place for a few seconds, “What is this illness you speak of?” She asked in the end.Daenerys seemed to slightly quiver for a second, then straightened out her posture, “He has been smitten by Greyscale, while he was banished.”Missandei gasped, “Greyscale? But there’s no known cure for it.” Daenerys nodded, and said with a slightly quivering voice, “I know…”And that was the end for that conversation – actually for all the conversations for a while to come, since from that point it was completely silent between them…When Missandei was done with fixing Daenerys’ hair, there was a knock on the door.“My Queen, I seem to have figured out a way to do this in a very strategic way,” Said a voice that clearly belonged to Tyrion. “Go and get Grey Worm then, I want everybody to hear what you have to say,” Daenerys answered. “Yes, Your Grace.”Daenerys stood up, Missandei put the chair back into its rightful place, and then both walked back out of the cabin, and back up to the poop deck.They had to wait for a minute before Tyrion and Grey Worm showed up, “So, what is this magnificent plan of yours?” Daenerys asked Tyrion.“The plan is that we split this massive fleet up into, well, different fleets,” Tyrion said.“And weaken our strength?” Daenerys asked. “No, we will take one part of the fleet to Dragonstone, which, as you know, is located to the east of Westeros, then the other part of the fleet will sail to the western border of Westeros, to carry out any attacks there. This would mean that the enemy has to focus on 2 different fronts at the same time,” Tyrion said breathlessly, “And while you seize Dragonstone, the other fleet could capture Casterly Rock.”Daenerys looked at Tyrion, and smiled, “I approve of this plan,” She said, then asked, “Grey Worm, you’re the commander of the Unsullied. What do you make of this plan?” Grey Worm seemed to ponder the plan for a few seconds, then said, “I approve, My Queen.”Daenerys looked at her advisors and said, “This means we have a plan for the coming conquest of Westeros. There are, however, some positions that need to be filled.”“What positions?” Missandei asked. “Who it is that will lead the second fleet,” Tyrion answered.“Tyrion is correct,” Daenerys said, then looked at Grey Worm, “Grey Worm will lead the second fleet.” Daenerys noticed that a spark of sadness appeared on Missandei’s face, before quickly regain her normal serious expression.“Missandei,” Daenerys said, Missandei shifting her eyes from the map on the tablet, to her Queen’s face, “Yes, Your Grace?” Daenerys smiled lightly, “You will accompany Grey Worm, for translation purposes, as well as for company.”Missandei’s posture immediately signaled happiness – although not very noticeably – and then she said, “Yes, My Queen. I would be delighted to.”Daenerys nodded slightly, and then said, “Dismissed.” The others bowed, and then walked down deck, presumably, towards their cabins – or in Tyrion’s case, towards the wine!Daenerys herself stood watching the dragons, which had started to grow bigger in the distance, starting to cover the dark clouds behind them.The conversation she’d had with Missandei previously made her wonder, was it really right of her to command Jorah to cure his Greyscale, after all, if he didn’t succeed he would probably die thinking that he had failed his Queen – or in his case, failed his Khaleesi .Had she taken Jorah with her, it could have led to an epidemic among her troops, and advisors. Could it have affected her? Even though she has the Blood of the Dragon flowing through her veins, presumably making her immune to diseases – Greyscale is more like a curse than a sickness after all.But if she had taken him with her, maybe she could have helped him to the Citadel – the Citadel being the best in all things knowledge, really.The cure for Greyscale was still unknown, however, and if the Citadel knew of it, then it wouldn’t be unknown, right?Daenerys shook her head, trying to free it from all these thoughts. Maybe I could return to Essos and get him… No. You’ve made your choice Daenerys, now you have to live with it, Daenerys thought, solemnly; her head filled with what ifs.She sighed.It were moments like these she wished she could be like Tyrion – drunk pretty much all the time, although that wouldn’t make much of a responsible Queen, would it?Daenerys thought about it for a few minutes, One night of drunkenness wouldn’t be that irresponsible, after all, it might even help to clear my mind. She proceeded down deck, asked one of the Unsullied – actually, it was more like demanded to know where Tyrion went. “Down to his cabin,” He’d answered, emotionlessly.She went down deck, and knocked on Tyrion’s door. “Who is it?” She heard, “Your Queen, open the door.”Before she could blink, the door was open.“Your Grace, what has brought you here, to my humble cabin and me?” Tyrion asked, smiling at her.“I wanted some company – and you were the best person whom would give me that, as well as suit my needs,” She answered him and walked in, Tyrion behind her, closing the door.“My Queen, I don’t think it wise to engage in such… activities, with your Hand,” Tyrion answered, slightly chuckling. Daenerys was not amused by his joke, “I meant your... fondness of wine.”Tyrion laughed and nodded at her as he walked past, “Yes, that is definitely my area of expertise.”Daenerys looked at him as he took out a crate of wine bottles from under his bed.“Dornish Red, my last few bottles,” Tyrion said, handing her a full bottle of wine, “I believe that will satisfy your needs.”Daenerys turned the bottle around in her hand, “Do you have any goblets nearby?”Tyrion laughed.“Goblets? That’s for when you need to be well mannered, down here in my cabin, you just drink straight from the bottle,” Tyrion said, popping his bottle open and taking a sip.Daenerys was slightly hesitant, every fiber of her screaming at her that this was not how Queen was fit to act; it’s only Tyrion though, she thought, and then popped the bottle open.When she had drunk half her bottle – and Tyrion, one and a half – Tyrion asked, “What brings you down here to drink anyhow?”Tyrion could probably see her tense up a bit, “Too many thoughts at once,” She answered after a few seconds.Tyrion nodded his head slowly – tipsily even – then asked, “What kind of thoughts?”Daenerys looked at him with a stern expression that read, “None of your fucking business.”Tyrion shook his head, “Forget I asked.”Then both of them just sat there, more or less just sulking in silence, then after Daenerys had drunk her second bottle – Tyrion his third – she said, “You wondered what I have been thinking about,” She turned to him, and he gave her his full attention – which was not a lot, “I’ve been thinking about choices I’ve made, if they were right or wrong, and what would’ve happened if I made a different choice.”Tyrion looked at her, “We all do sometimes, but then we move on.”Daenerys said no more. She just drunk wine, then walked out, and back to her cabin. The Summer Sea Daenerys woke up to the light shining on her face through one of the cabin windows, the curtains somehow seemed to have moved since last night, but Daenerys didn’t mind, probably just a servant that had dragged it to the side – probably the same one who of which had placed a tray of food and wine on the table.But that was not the only reason she didn’t mind, however, it was also contributed to by the fact that her sleep had been plagued by nightmares recently, and so, for the time being, Daenerys completely detested sleep – with a passion.She stretched her legs and arms, then rose from the bed, walked over to the wardrobe, took out her black – and her most concealing – dress (the one from season 7, if you couldn’t guess), and put it on. Then she walked over to the tray with the food and wine, it was just a buttered bread, with a thin slice of cheese, a soft-boiled egg, as well as some delicious, crispy bacon. (PS, I have no idea what they eat for breakfast, but this was mentioned in the show… So, let’s roll with it.)She just stood there for a second, contemplating if she would eat it here alone, or invite someone to her cabin for company – preferably Tyrion or Missandei, of course. Grey Worm and the other Unsullied are not really… communal.In the end, she decided to invite Tyrion to her cabin, after all she had left quite suddenly the day before – although she would not apologize for it, a Queen does not apologize for her actions.Thus, she walked over to the door, opened it, then told the nearest Unsullied, “ Maghagon nyke se mība vala. ”Then she closed the door, and walked back to the table to wait for her company.She had to wait for what seemed like an hour for Tyrion to show up – even though it was more like ten minutes…Tyrion knocked on the door, “Your Grace. You requested my presence?” Daenerys answered with a loud and authoritative voice, “Yes. Come in.”Tyrion opened the door, and walked to sit in the on the opposite side of the table, “So, what matter is it that requires my expertise?”“Who said anything about needing your expertise? I just wanted you here to keep me company while I break my fast, and at the same time you could tell me more about this country we will soon arrive in,” Daenerys answered as she picked up a piece of bacon.Tyrion laughed, “The company I gave you last night wasn’t enough? You left so suddenly, I thought you were trying to escape me…” Daenerys smiled and answered, “Well, you are an expert at drinking and talking, whereas both can be quite hard to endure sometimes.”Tyrion looked at her with another smile, “Well, good to know that My Queen can note my expertise in these particular areas.”Daenerys chuckled slightly, then kept eating, “Nevertheless, you wanted to know more about Westeros, what would you want to know?”To answer this, she just looked at him, then said, “Do you think Dragonstone will be heavily defended?”Tyrion slightly raised his right eyebrow, “I don’t think it will be heavily defended, in fact, I don’t think it will be defended at all.”At this Daenerys furrowed her brows, “Why wouldn’t Dragonstone be defended?”“Because there’s no reason for it.”“And why not?”“Well, Stannis Baratheon has most likely left it at this point, and Cersei and Jaime, probably don’t care enough about it to realize what a strategic position it is.”At this Daenerys should’ve been grateful, the fact that they could just walk in and capture a very valuable strategic position without having to risk any men at all, should be a godsend; but strangely she just felt rage.The house seat of the Targaryens, thrown out like it was nothing, did they not see what a sacred site it was? It was most likely just abandoned like any old ruin. Her ancestors seat of power, forgotten.What gave them the right to do so? They should treat it like a monument from a great age, because that’s exactly what it was! It was greater than Casterly Rock could ever be. With the histories of House Targaryen, echoing through its empty halls.Tyrion had seemed to notice that the fire in her had grown, “My Queen, what is it that troubles you?”Daenerys snarled and stood up, “The fact that your family have the stomach to forsake such a sacred site, a monument to House Targaryen is what it is; they should worship the ground it was built on!”Tyrion jerked backwards at the sound of her voice, and a hurt expression flashed on his face when she said his family, but Daenerys didn’t care.In return he snorted and said, “Don’t talk about them like I belong to that family still, ‘cause I do not.”Daenerys turned to him, her eyes filled with rage, “Do not talk back to your Queen.”At this Tyrion just huffed, “Of course, My Queen,” his voice dripping with sarcasm.Daenerys’ glare just rose in intensity at the sarcastic use of her title, Tyrion, however, wasn’t done yet, “I thought I was invited to elaborate on the situation in Westeros, not to argue like children.”“And now you have the stomach to call me a child?”“No, I called both of us children.”Daenerys just rolled her eyes, “Same thing,” then she let out a deep breath, “but nonetheless, you are correct, this is not a manner fitting of a Queen. I guess I’m just have a lot on my mind.”Tyrion looked seriously at her, “Now then, I have just one question… Can I have some of that wine?”Daenerys shook her head and a smile started to spread on her face, “Okay, but don’t drink it all, it’s mine after all.”At this Tyrion just laughed and said, “You know very well that I can’t promise that,” At which Daenerys answered, “Just drink the damn wine.” ‘On a second thought, maybe I should’ve invited Missandei instead…’ Daenerys mused, while at the same time letting out a big sigh.Tyrion saw this and asked, “What are you thinking about now, Your Grace?”“Nothing of importance.”“Are you sure?”Daenerys shook her head, once again becoming agitated, “Yes, I’m sure. And do not ask me about it again, because if I wanted you to know, then I would tell you.”Tyrion snorted, “Of course,” then he saw the look on Daenerys face and quickly said, “My Queen.”Then there was silence, Daenerys eating, and Tyrion drinking – somewhat timidly.After a while, Tyrion looked at Daenerys with an expression that reminded of that of melancholy, “Your Grace, maybe you should’ve invited Missandei instead if you wanted company. I’m after all not the best at that sort of thing as you can see,” Daenerys actually smiled at this, “You know, you’re not all that bad company,” Tyrion looked doubtfully at her for a second, “Today is not the best example.”Tyrion laughed at that, “You could definitely say that, mostly we have been quiet, and if we weren’t, we yelled at each other…”Daenerys snickered, “That about describes us, after all, you’re the one who insist on arguing with me on every point.”Tyrion grinned, “That’s one of my three callings, drinking, knowing things, and arguing with you pointlessly,” Daenerys grinned back, “Of course it’s pointless, I’m not one to usually change my mind.”Tyrion shook his head, “Yes, but maybe you should start doing so, maybe then you wouldn’t make such hasty decisions – some of which seems to haunt you to this day.Daenerys grin immediately disappeared, that struck her hard. After all, she knew that was one of her weak spots, her fierce temper – but at the same time it was one of her strengths.In the end, Daenerys decided to retaliate with, “It’s their fault that they awoke The Dragon, not mine,” although she didn’t say it with much conviction.Tyrion nodded hesitantly, “Yes, of course, Your Grace,” then nervously sipped more wine.Then there was silence again, until an Unsullied knocked on the door.“ Ñuha dāria, tegun ēza issare ūndegīon ,” the Unsullied said stiffly.“ Skoros tegun? ” Daenerys answered questioningly.“ Īlon pendagon ziry iksos, dorne. ”Daenerys looked at Tyrion, “They say they’ve spotted the coast of Dorne, how much further?”“Well, that depends on a lot of things, My Queen, many things can happen on a journey such as this,” Tyrion answered niftily, while standing up to walk out the door, “But you should walk out and see it yourself, it will soon be out of sight again…” Then he walked out, not even bothering to close the cabin door behind him.This would be the first time Daenerys saw Westeros – her home – with her own two eyes.Thus, Daenerys followed.
11323995	Desde tu otra	{ "Archive Warning": "Graphic Depictions Of Violence", "Category": "Gen", "Characters": "Matsuno Osomatsu, Matsuno Karamatsu, Matsuno Choromatsu, Matsuno Ichimatsu, Matsuno Jyushimatsu, Matsuno Todomatsu", "Fandom": "おそ松さん \| Osomatsu-san (Anime)", "Language": "Español", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by Vanmuri", "chapters": "8/?", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-28T00:00:00", "words": "64,156", "Additional Tags": "multi-AU, Religion matsu AU, Mafia AU, yokai matsu au, magical girl au, age au, Don!Ichimatsu, omegaverse AU, Anti!Matsu AU, Fem!Jyushi, FujioRock AU, Son un montón de Au's, Menciones de Ichikara, menciones de incesto, Fantasia, Attempt at Humor, MagicalNeet! AU", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	* Prólogo “-Ah~, aquí estás –Dijo una silueta acercándose hacia el pedestal que resplandecía en una luz incandescente, tiñéndose de negro cada vez que aleteaba más cerca de ella. Estiró las alas hacia arriba cuando estuvo de frente, sosteniéndola entre sus garras hasta convertirla en una masa de luz oscura. En sus cuernos ya no se reflectó la luz divina, fortaleciéndolos con la nueva energía maligna. El demonio mostró sus colmillos en una sonrisa maliciosa. -Con tu ayuda me haré inmensamente poderoso –Se entusiasmó agitando su cola en el aire –Nos divertiremos mucho ~ -Aseguró desapareciendo en una nube de humo tóxico, dejando todo en penumbras”. Capítulo 1: I am we and we are me! -Otra vez me dejaron solo, esos malagradecidos –Reclamó Osomatsu metiéndose ambas manos en los bolsillos de su sudadera roja, maldiciendo por lo bajo –Oniichan también puede divertirse solo, no los necesito –Farfulló mosqueado. Osomatsu era el hijo mayor de los sextillizos Matsuno, como todos en el barrio sabían. Se había quedado en casa demasiado concentrado en holgazanear toda la tarde, dándose cuenta morosamente que sus hermanos habían armado sus panoramas aparte de forma individual. De hecho, le parecía hasta ofensivo que no lo tomaran en cuenta. Bueno, de todas formas lo pasaría mejor en el pachinko o en las carreras de caballos, tal vez podría darse una vuelta para alquilar alguna porno por ahí. Iba mascullando maldiciones por la calle, como que les comería su ración de cena antes de que llegaran a casa o que les robaría las toallas cuando fueran a los baños públicos. Dio la vuelta por una calle angosta, poco transitada pero con casas pintorescas a los lados. Se había desviado de nuevo, tal vez podría encontrar a alguno de sus hermanos para molestarlo un rato. Pero a mitad de camino, se detuvo sorprendido. La atmósfera delante de él se había distorsionado en una ráfaga de calor, abriéndose un agujero flotante en la nada misma. No tenía idea que el aburrimiento se le iría tan rápido. ~ * ~* ~~ ~~ ~ * ~* ~~ Los zapatos sonaban demasiado cuando impactaban contra el concreto, probablemente por el sugestivo tacón de vaquero que traían. Karamatsu tenía un caminar seguro e impecable, creyéndose uno de los tipos geniales que veía en las revistas. Se sujetaba los lentes oscuros cada dos por tres, acomodándolos sobre su nariz con una actitud coqueta que distaba mucho de serlo.Se dirigía hacia el centro, ya que en el puente no había logrado conseguir ninguna compañía femenina. Tal vez se debía a que hoy no estaba usando su perfect fashion por algún motivo extraño y fuera de lo común, sino más bien la sudadera azul con el mismo símbolo de pino de sus hermanos. El sentido común que salía pocas veces le había sugerido que vistiese más cómodo ese día, así que ese podía ser el motivo por el cual no conseguía llamar la atención de las chicas como él quisiera. Al menos podría haberse puesto los pantalones con brillantinas.A lo mejor si iba a un lugar más transitado podría encontrar alguna Karamatsu girl mientras reposaba con alguna pose ridícula. Tan enfocado iba pensando en lo que recitaría si alguna mujer le hablaba que se asustó cuando una densa capa de polvo oscuro le tapó los lentes de sol. Se los sacó para ver qué sucedía, encontrándose con una imagen que lo descolocó un poco. -¿Osomatsu? –Inquirió mirando al rostro conocido. De hecho, se veía muy extraño. Vestía el traje celeste que utilizaban para las ocasiones especiales, mientras ostentaba un par de alas y cuernos rojizos que lo hacían lucir endiablado. Era una utilería muy buena, a decir verdad. Karamatsu casi se tragó que fueran reales. Sólo le faltaba saber cómo era que lo hacía para flotar por sobre el suelo, agitando la cola que le salía desde la espalda.Osomatsu le chasqueó la lengua. -Tsk, no es el Dios –Resopló sacando una mano de los bolsillos de su pantalón –Bueno, tendré que conformarme con matar a ese estúpido Padre –Habló levantando el brazo para enseñarle la palma abierta, sonriéndole con maldad. Ah, la luz chispeante que salía desde el centro no lucía tan falsa como deseaba. -¡¿Osomatsu?! –Repitió retrocediendo un paso, llevándose ambos brazos a la cara cuando pensó que se quemaría ahí mismo. Lo más seguro era que Dekapan le haya dado algún artilugio para jugar con su mente, o al menos así esperaba que fuese, de todas formas le iba a devolver el susto que le estaba dando. No obstante, una larga túnica negra apareció por delante de él dándole la espalda. La luz brillante azulina que salió desde ese ser le cegó por unos momentos, atreviéndose a mirar a pesar que la luminosidad podría rostizarle los ojos. Pudo ver parte de la sotana agitarse violentamente a su alrededor, era larga y reposaba a ambos lados de su cuello. Era un cura que sostenía un libro similar a una biblia, con la mano extendida al igual que el Osomatsu demoníaco que tenían frente a ellos. El padre por el contrario, emitía un rayo tan fuerte que logró chocar contra la otra fuente de energía, repeliéndola en un choque que desvaneció ambos ataques. -Atrás, demonio –Ordenó con voz solemne. Woah, su voz sonaba increíblemente familiar. -Tú no dejas de molestar, padre de mierda –Espetó el demonio agitando sus alas con molestia –No tengo tiempo para ti –Dijo tronándose los dedos cuando preparó las garras. -Serás purificado en el nombre de Dios –Advirtió el cura levantando el libro que terminó levitando sobre su otra palma. El ser oscuro mostró los colmillos. -Volveré por ustedes, par de basuras –Escupió envolviéndose en una llamarada de fuego, dejando a su ida una estela de humo negro y cenizas encendidas que se levantaron hacia el cielo para perderse en él. Karamatsu parpadeó varias veces, sin creer realmente en lo que había visto. El cura se giró hacia él, haciéndole helar la sangre cuando lo vio a la cara. Era como reflectarse en su espejo.No, no era como mirar a sus otros hermanos a pesar de tener todos los mismos rostros, en ese hombre podía ver claramente sus facciones como si se tratara de un retrato suyo. El cura le sonrió colocándose una mano en la frente con pose dramática. -No temas, hijo mío. Ya estás a salvo –Aseguró cerrando los ojos mientras se jactaba. Algo extraño sonó en su espalda, escuchando varios pasos caer desde algún lugar que desconocía. Se encontró con un hombre un poco más alto que él, con el mismo maldito rostro. -¿Llegamos antes que él? –Inquirió con expresión seria, arqueando una de sus cejas pobladas y acomodándose un guante de cuero en la mano para después desenfundar un arma desde el interior de su saco negro. Traía una camisa azul y una cadena dorada, mientras todo lo demás era de color azabache. Qué genial se veía, no lo podía evitar admitir. Alguien más apareció de la nada, cayendo desde el aire como si hubiese atravesado algún universo. También lucía como Karamatsu, sin embargo se mostraba más menudo que él.Miraba hacia todas direcciones, sorprendiéndose cuando impactó miradas con ellos. Bajó la ojeada perturbado, mostrándose nervioso. -Esto es malo…m-mi celo está...–Balbuceó jugueteando con las manos sin saber qué hacer. ¿Pero qué rayos era todo eso? ~ * ~* ~~ ~~ ~ * ~* ~~ Volteó a la esquina por tercera vez consecutiva, moviendo los pies como si se tratara de un soldadito de plomo. Las largas mangas de sus brazos se batían alegres cada vez que las levantaba siguiendo el ritmo de su caminar, al compás de una eterna sonrisa que no se desvanecía a pesar de llevar tanto tiempo caminando sin rumbo. Jyushimatsu iba hacia ningún lugar con ninguna idea fija en mente, de hecho ni siquiera sabía qué estaba haciendo ahí. De todas formas, se sentía bien y contento, como siempre. Hoy no había ido a jugar béisbol por el barrio, se conformó con la práctica matutina y nada más. Extraño…siempre se sentía motivado para hacerlo, no obstante esa tarde había hecho gala de la denominación que habían adquirido él y sus hermanos, siendo un nini que no hacía nada.Así que eso hacía, nada. Jyushimatsu se detuvo sorpresivamente, parpadeando ausente hacia adelante. Una bola de aire caliente se movía frente a él, transparente, diáfana e inocua. -¿Ah? –Expresó ladeando la cabeza, demasiado concentrado en procesar cómo es que ese fenómeno extraño era capaz de estirarse hacia abajo y transformarse en una fina línea negra que se abrió como un cierre. Una mano salió desde allí, estirando lo que parecía ser su espacio temporal para poder emerger de él. Una sudadera azul se mostró apenas sacó los brazos y el torso, reconociendo la cabellera y el rostro que se mostraron ante él una vez sacó el cuerpo por completo. -¡Ah, Karamatsu-niisan! –Saludó sin dejar de sonreír, como si la facultad de su hermano para atravesar espacios tridimensionales fuera lo más normal del universo. Sin embargo, la amenguó un poco, sin desvanecerla. No era la sudadera tradicional que solían llevar todos ellos, el símbolo de pino en el pecho no era de un verdoso oscuro, sino más bien de un profundo negro inerte. El rostro molesto que traía tampoco era común. No, no era una ilusión de sus cejas; Karamatsu sabía utilizarlas para darse aires seductores que no funcionaban, no para intimidar a los demás.Su mirada también lucía sin alma. -Qué Jyushimatsu más extraño –Pronunció en un mohín desinteresado – Adiós –Se despidió sin más. Acto seguido, levantó su brazo para mostrarle un tipo de arma que jamás había visto en su vida. Jyushimatsu se paralizó, su sonrisa también, toda la situación había comenzado a calarle en la cabeza anunciándole la anormalidad que conllevaba.Karamatsu apretó el gatillo sin siquiera pensárselo dos segundos. No parpadeó ni se movió.El quinto hijo pensó por un instante que podría tratarse de una broma o algo por el estilo, que del arma podría salir agua para empaparlo y no un balín que pudiese herirlo, o aún peor: Matarlo. Sí, por la ergonomía del aparato el hecho de que saliese agua de allí era lo más sensato. Pero no, una nube espesa de color oscuro estalló hacia él. Y después una luz resplandeciente lo cegó por un momento. Unas cuantas plumas cayeron cerca de él, rozándole las mejillas con suavidad, mostrándole el camino por donde habían caído. Un par de alas enormes le hicieron brillar los ojos como un niño pequeño. Eran hermosas, esponjosas y blancas como un armiño. Una vestimenta blanca y dorada se explayó en una ráfaga de viento que bajó desde el cielo sólo para protegerlo con su presencia. La luz desvió todo rastro de oscuridad, haciendo fruncir aún más el ceño al Karamatsu que tenía por delante.Ya no tenía tanta visual de él, el ángel se la impedía. -Ya no hay nada más que hacer –Dijo resignado, bajando el artefacto y disparando hacia el suelo, justo en sus pies. Una mancha se estiró debajo de ellos, consumiéndole sus zapatos y su pantalón de manera ascendente, hasta cubrirlo por completo y desaparecer frente a ambos. Jyushimatsu parpadeó otra vez confundido. Miró al evidente ángel que terminaba de descender frente a él, reconociendo su rostro cuando volteó a verlo. Ah, era él mismo.Sí, nada del otro mundo. Un momento, ¿Qué? -¿Quién eres tú? –Inquirió con tono divertido, le parecía demasiado extraño encontrar a alguien quien poseyera su misma cara y que no fuera ninguno de sus hermanos. -Soy el arcángel Jyushimatsu –Se presentó una vez sintió el concreto bajo sus sandalias de entrabado extraño y poco común. Parecía un luchador griego, o algo así se le ocurrió –Y estoy aquí para protegerte –Explicó regalándole una sonrisa radiante, juntando ambas manos cerca de su pecho cubiertas por sus mangas blancas. Tenían coincidencias también, pensó Jyushimatsu alegremente. Se lamentó de no haberle sabido entregar una sonrisa igual de entusiasta, sino más bien una sonrisa confundida.Algo cayó detrás de él incentivándolo a mirar hacia su espalda. -¿Eh? –Musitó el sujeto que se presentó ante él. Era un poco más alto; no mucho, y tenía exactamente la misma sudadera amarilla que él. De hecho, vestía igual que él. Se veía extraño, diría que ligeramente más maduro pero igual de desorientado. -¡Ahahaha! ¡Este se parece mucho a mi barrio! –Exclamó riéndose una chica de coletas que apareció de la nada detrás del otro Jyushimatsu. Ésta también vestía igual, sólo que la falda azulina distinguía su femineidad. El Jyushimatsu que más se parecía a él se acercó olfateando a su alrededor, mirándolo con extrañeza. -¿Quién eres? Hueles a Beta –Anunció con semblante pensativo, ensanchando las pupilas. -¿Eh? –Inquirió él mismo. ¿Eh? ~ * ~* ~~ ~~ ~ * ~* ~~ No venía mirando exactamente por dónde iba caminando, estaba demasiado ocupado texteando en su celular como para tomarle importancia. Lo único en que permanecía pendiente era no atravesar alguna calle con tránsito vehicular o pisar algún chicle.Sonrió cuando le enviaron un emoticón coqueto. Si la persuadía bien, podría agendar alguna cita con la chica que le hablaba por chat. Sí, bueno…había alterado algo la realidad durante su explicación de actividades diarias, familia, amigos y entorno social. Todo era válido si quería llamar su atención, después de todo. Ah, sería un problema si ella quisiese salir en ese mismo instante, no se había preparado para la ocasión. Sólo tenía puesta su sudadera rosa y los sosos pantalones que utilizaba para andar por la casa. De todas formas, estaba casi por lograrlo. Hasta que se estampó con algo en medio del camino. Se tocó el rostro adolorido, frotándose la punta de la nariz y agarrando con la otra mano el celular que casi se resbala trágicamente. Miró molesto hacia adelante, pensando en cómo podía ser tan estúpido para no ver una pared en la mitad de la calle. ¿Qué? No, nadie pone un muro en la mitad de una calle angosta de barrio provincial, y un poste de luz ya sonaba fuera de lo normal.Se asustó cuando lo único que vio fue la nada misma. El dolor seguía en su cara, no había sido una ilusión. Tocó el aire para tantear su veracidad, encontrándose con una superficie dura al tacto como un cristal.Retrocedió suspicaz para tener mejor visión de lo que no se explicaba. El ambiente se distorsionó dejando una mancha difusa frente a él que poco a poco fue tomando forma en una espiral negra, con tanta profundidad que ni siquiera se vio venir a la persona que saltó sublimemente desde allí, dejándose caer de pie en el suelo con la elegancia propia de un felino.El agujero desapareció, dejando frente a él a un chico de cabellos enmarañados. Era medianamente alto y estilizado, vestía un Kimono púrpura bastante simplón y poseía mirada cansada. Un momento… -¿Ichimatsu-niisan? –Preguntó achicando los ojos, como si todavía fuera difícil de adivinar. Digamos que no todos los días ves a tu hermano mayor salir de un agujero negro en medio de la calle, no podía ser cierto que su aura oscura haya llegado a tales extremos. No, era humanamente imposible. Ichimatsu movió las orejas negras que entre salían de su cabello azabache, llamando la atención de Todomatsu cuando lo hizo. Ah, su fanatismo había llegado a niveles escalofriantes. Pensó. El de morado sonrió a pesar que no encajaba con su expresión aburrida. -Me tocó un simple humano –Dijo mostrando dos colas negras que salían desde la parte baja de su espalda, agitándolas una sola vez ansioso a la expectativa. -¿Nekomata? –Se preguntó Todomatsu en voz alta cuando el contrario levantó su brazo con fineza para mostrar sus garras. La agitó hacia él una sola vez, lanzando algo que no alcanzó a ver. No era un objeto contundente, más bien parecía como un látigo de luz o…qué sabía él, algo le iba a dar de lleno en el cuerpo y sea lo que fuese, le tomó desprevenido. Levantó las manos para protegerse con los antebrazos, sintiendo una ráfaga de viento frío que le congeló hasta las orejas. Oyó su celular caer a sus pies con un sonido que le destrozó el corazón, mirando hacia abajo para percatarse del hielo que comenzaba a escarcharlo.Un nevazón le nubló la vista un momento. Se destapó para mirar a la persona que tenía frente a él. Tenía un corte de cabello igual y vestía por completo de blanco, con una piel tan pálida que no le sorprendería si se trataba de un fantasma. Lo cual le heló la sangre más de lo que ya estaba. Esa persona estaba lanzando ráfagas de viento helado por doquier, enfocándose en repeler el ataque que antes iba a golpear a Todomatsu. Lucía como nieve, tan fría que congelaba el aura alrededor de su usuario la cual la controlaba a voluntad. El nekomata se irguió agitando otra vez sus colas. -No tengo tiempo para ti, Yuki-onna –Dijo con voz monótona. El ser de hielo sonrió como si no le importase en lo absoluto. -¿Debería importarme? –Inquirió transformando en palabras su expresión, bajando las manos cerca de su regazo. El blanco kimono que traía le daba un aspecto aún más espectral. Un fino y delgado velo que llevaba en la cabeza también cayó dócilmente sobre su rostro una vez que la tempestad se detuvo. -Supongo que no –Dijo encogiéndose de hombros en respuesta, lanzándose hacia atrás de manera sublime para desaparecer lentamente en la oscuridad que lo cubrió apenas saltó en un brinco pasivo. -¿Qué fue…qué? –Se preguntó Todomatsu en voz alta una vez que todo terminó, retrocediendo un paso de forma instintiva. -Uf, eso estuvo cerca –Suspiró el ser volteándose para mostrarle un rostro relajado. Igual al suyo, y no de la manera que él mismo quisiera creer. Era idéntico a él, sólo que de una manera más…delicadamente muerta. -¡¿Quién eres tú?! –Gritó histérico cuando la falta de respuestas comenzaron a exasperarlo. -Yuki-onna Todomatsu, un gusto –Saludó sacudiéndose el shiromoku de forma ausente, adecentándose a sí mismo. Era un poco más alto que él, o más bien ella, no lo sabía. No tenía una cabellera larga como la leyenda, sino más bien el cabello corto y de facciones más refinadas que las suyas. De cualquier manera seguía siendo algo como su clon estilizado…supuso. Algo cayó detrás de él en tintineantes campanillas. -¡Ese fue un viaje rápido! –Exclamó una chica de larga cabellera rosa, portando una extravagante vestimenta del mismo color. Parecía una muñeca. Y con su rostro. Un ser peludo apareció en pleno aire con una simple explosión de polvo, cayendo sobre los brazos de la joven que lo alzó entusiasmada. -¡Aquí estás, Usagi-chan! –Le dijo alegremente al conejito rosado que sonrió moviendo una de sus largas orejas. Sí, sonriendo. Porque también tenía rostro humano. Y también era igual al suyo. -¡¿Quiénes rayos son ustedes?! –Gritó Todomatsu intercalando miradas. ~ * ~* ~~ ~~ ~ * ~* ~~ Se movió perezosamente hacia la otra intersección, arrastrando los pies en un paso derrotado. Encorvado, con las manos en los bolsillos y con una mascarilla en el rostro se dirigía hacia alguna tienda cercana. Se debatía entre la encrucijada de comprar sardinas resecas o atún enlatado, el día de ayer había declinado por un pescado encurtido que jamás compró antes y no pareció ser del gusto felino de sus amigos, así que debía escoger con cuidado. Probablemente las sardinas sería una opción acertada al saber su concreta aceptación en la dieta gatuna callejera. Sí, eso conseguiría. Tenía la mirada cansada como todo el tiempo, la vida diaria le apestaba. Ah, bueno, no era de merecerse algo mejor tampoco.Llegó a una calle recta cerrada en panderetas de concreto, con varias casas de dos plantas a los costados. Aún seguía cerca de su casa, todavía podía devolverse a encerrarse en la habitación para no salir nunca más en la vida. No obstante, su afición lograba superar ese extraño síndrome de hikikomori que había desarrollado y que cada vez iba de mal en peor. Comenzó a jugar con los dedos dentro de los bolsillos de su sudadera morada. Ichimatsu pensaba muchas cosas pero no era capaz de decirlas en voz alta, el miedo de decir algo fuera de lugar o adverso a lo que en realidad sentía (Que era generalmente lo que hacía) le arrastraban a la reclusión de sus comentarios.Con sus hermanos era algo parecido, pero no tan grave como con las demás personas. De todas formas, no es como si conociera tanta gente para charlar. Algo fuera de lo normal fue lo suficientemente llamativo para obligarlo a detenerse en la mitad de la calle y bajarse la mascarilla hasta la barbilla. El aire se distorsionó creando espejismos frente a él con la silueta de una persona, apareciendo poco a poco vendajes que se mecían de un lado a otro. Como un acto de magia el cuerpo de un sujeto salió de la nada, de manera que parecía haber atravesado otra dimensión para ingresar a ésta. Ichimatsu entrecerró los ojos para mirar con más detenimiento. El tipo vestía un kimono verde y estaba cubierto de vendas por todo el cuerpo, la expresión seria que le dedicó detrás de sus lentes le hizo replantearse de quién se trataba.Choromatsu no solía utilizar disfraces tan particulares, no era como si estuvieran en Halloween tampoco. -Era cierto, sólo son humanos –Dijo serio aquel Choromatsu que había aparecido por delante, estirando una mano hacia el cuarto hermano con desprecio –Será rápido –Se habló a sí mismo soltando una energía que retiró las telas que cubrían sus brazos. El de sudadera morada tragó con fuerza la saliva que se acumuló en su boca, impresionado de que algo pudiera producirle ese nivel de asco que pensó había perdido. La piel estaba plagada de ojos cuyos párpados se movían de forma intercalada acostumbrándose a la luz. No había duda alguna, se trataba de un Dodomeki.A pesar de ser una leyenda se presentaba como si nada a plena luz del día, no podía ser un sueño ni una broma de mal gusto, esos ojos latentes le confirmaban lo reales que eran. Todos ellos se enfocaron en Ichimatsu, haciéndole dar un paso hacia atrás. Choromatsu seguía mirándole con indiferencia, liberando y lanzando los vendajes hacia él como látigos dispuestos a matar. Un sonido salió de su garganta en reemplazo de su shock, siendo incapaz de moverse. El parpadeo que no apareció jamás le permitió ver con lujos de detalles al vestido negro que se teletransportó frente a él. Un hábito religioso se batió con la ráfaga de viento que apareció sorpresivamente, alcanzando a mirar cómo la persona detenía las telas con una fuerte luz proyectada desde su mano. Lo cegó un instante, abriendo los párpados para mirar cómo la monja sacaba desde su muslo lo que parecía una… ¿Ametralladora?El dodomeki soltó un chasquido enfadado, concentrando su energía maligna en refrenar los ataques que llegaron sin avisar. La monja disparaba sin piedad, ahuyentando al yokai que desapareció en medio de una columna de humo que se deshizo con el aire. Sea el arma que fuese, la utilizaba como si fuera lo más fácil de manejar pese a su tamaño, apoyándosela contra el hombro. Una vez terminó la faena y se cercioró de que ya no había peligro, bajó el cañón del arma para que ésta se deshiciera entre sus manos como burbujas de luz. Las balas no habían emitido sonido, más bien produjeron repiqueteos apagados. Ichimatsu se permitió parpadear otra vez cuando la religiosa se dio vuelta hacia él. Tenía su maldito mismo rostro, con la misma maldita expresión exhausta de todo. Se retiró un palillo que tenía entre los labios, pisándolo en el suelo con la suela de su tacón. No era la vestimenta precisa que procuraba llevar una monja que pretendía ser recatada. De todas formas, el hábito negro que cubría su cabeza con la zona blanca abarcando su cuello y el pecho le anunciaban que se trataba de una. -Por poco y te vuelves energía maligna –Le dijo acomodándose el vestido que había mostrado la liga que portaba en la pierna, demasiado arriba la verdad. Ahí tenía enganchadas varias dagas que ocultó de forma sigilosa. Cerró los ojos despreocupadamente mientras lo hacía, regresando a mirarlo con la misma expresión aburrida que conocía al mirarse al espejo. -¿Có-…eh?-Balbuceó Ichimatsu sin saber qué decir. Un par de zapatos sonaron cuando cayeron detrás de él. Miró hacia atrás desconfiado, encontrándose con un hombre más alto que él, vestido con un traje blanco el cual resaltaba la camisa color púrpura que llevaba. Se acomodó el sombrero a juego con el saco, encintado en una franja a tono de la camisa. -Cazzo, qué cansando estoy de esto –Reclamó tronándose el cuello. A su lado apareció un niño que cayó en un brinco tambaleante, como si fuese arrojado de un vórtice. Éste miró hacia todo lado inseguro con vista humedecida, apretándose la tela de sus pantaloncillos. Tenía el pelo igual de desordenado que él, haciéndole pensar que era como una especie de clon reducido. -¿Oniichan? –Murmuró con el llanto inocente en la punta de la boca. Qué-mierda-era todo eso. ~ * ~* ~~ ~~ ~ * ~* ~~ Caminó a paso raudo con una idea fija en la cabeza: Llegar lo más pronto posible y así tal vez verla antes del show. Traía un morral marrón que le atravesaba todo el pecho, lleno de cosas estampadas y algunas lightstick usadas que ya no servían para nada, pero que aún guardaba por ser de conciertos “especiales”; de todas formas compraría más en el evento.No se había cambiado la sudadera verde para salir puesto que la camisa cuadrillé que utilizaba para ese tipo de ocasiones se había extraviado misteriosamente, tal vez perdida entre la ropa sucia que su madre no lavó, o entre la que se debía planchar. Tampoco podía buscarla porque el idiota de Osomatsu lo había retrasado esperando que desocupara el lavabo y pese a que tenía mucha más ropa para escoger, decidió salir mosqueado de la casa con lo que ya tenía encima. No importaba, Nya-chan podía calmarlo lo suficiente como para pasar por alto ese molesto percance. Su Idol favorita estaba dando otro de sus ansiados conciertos, ¡No podía estar de mal humor en un momento como ese! Era demasiado bueno como para no pensar en ella y sólo en ella.Quizás podría ganar algún concurso corto improvisado para un saludo de manos…ah, de tan sólo pensarlo se le enrojecían las mejillas ante la anticipación. Ignoró la calle residencial por la que transitaba, la conocía muy bien como para contemplarla con detenimiento porque a pesar de que no se encontraba en su barrio, pasaba siempre por ahí cuando este tipo de cosas sucedían y tenía que acortar calles.Miró uno de los posters promocionales pegado en un poste de alumbrado, emocionándose más de lo que ya estaba. Nya-chan estaría fabulosa como siempre.En medio de su distracción algo saltó sorpresivamente frente a él, asustándolo para mirar hacia el frente cuando se detuvo. Una sudadera amarilla inundó su campo visual, haciéndolo soltar un suspiro molesto. -Jyushimatsu, no aparezcas así, me asustaste –Regañó sujetándose el pecho. Entrecerró los ojos para mirar con más atención a su hermano menor, dándose cuenta que tenía una extraña aura oscura detrás de él. Y no, no era un eufemismo. Era visiblemente tangible. Lucía como una bruma de oscuridad que emergía desde la espalda del quinto hijo junto con una energía caliente que distorsionaba la imagen a su alrededor.Jyushimatsu lo miró con rostro serio apenas se irguió del salto que dio, diría que hasta molesto…lo cual era rarísimo para alguien tan tonto y amigable como él. -¿Jyushimatsu? –Preguntó vacilante, sintiendo que tal vez había sucedido algo lo suficientemente malo como para transformar de esa manera el ánimo de su hermano menor. La mancha inusual se desvaneció con una ráfaga en espiral, dirigiendo su atención a la extrañeza en la ropa del de amarillo. Algo estaba mal con el estampado, éste era negro y no del verde oscuro que traía el suyo. -Maldición, es el Dios –Masculló metiéndose una mano en los bolsillos delanteros para sacarla con algo de diversas formas coloridas, parecidos a hematomas o tumores, dándole forma a lo que sería una pistola jamás antes vista. Parecía de juguete…uno bastante grotesco a decir verdad. Algo estaba mal, ese no era Jyushimatsu. Se lo confirmó apenas levantó el brazo para apuntarle y dispararle sin pensárselo dos veces, como si fuese una imperante decisión acabar con su vida lo antes posible. No alcanzó a cubrirse como quería, tratando de flexionar los brazos cerca de su pecho a medio camino. Vio el proyectil amarillento luminoso que voló directo hacia él, cubierto con una densa capa de polvo negro que pretendía comerse todo lo que tenía de visual. Y luego una deslumbrante luz que le hizo parpadear con dolor. Sintió ligeras gotas de agua salpicarle en las mejillas como una llovizna mañanera, mientras veía el manto blanco agitarse frente a él envuelto en un haz de luz reconfortante. Jyushimatsu encogió el rostro enfurecido, mordiendo los dientes con frustración. Un ser celestial se había aposentado frente a Choromatsu, levitando sobre el suelo con una gracia propia de alguien divino. Traía una simple tela blanca cubriéndole el cuerpo hasta antes del tobillo que apenas se veía por el brillo, una que no alcanzaba a cubrirle todo el pecho desnudo. Tenía ramas de hojas verdes rodeándole ambas muñecas y otras en la coronilla. No hizo ningún movimiento, su sola aparición absorbió lo que sea que fuese a impactar contra el tercer hijo. Un par de disparos más salieron desde el arma sólo para conseguir el mismo destino que el primero. La luz borró todo lo que se acercaba a ella. El de sudadera amarilla pareció impacientarse al no ver efecto frente a sus ataques, incomodándose con la presencia que acababa de aparecer para interponerse en sus planes. Era como si lo intimidara, produciéndole más enojo al sentirse en esa situación. Farfulló algo ininteligible antes de disparar hacia el suelo justo frente a él, saltando hacia dentro del agujero sin fondo que se creó para después cerrarse sin dejar rastro. Las lianas verdosas que iban directo hacia él no alcanzaron a tomarlo antes de que se sumergiera bajo el concreto, enroscándose cuando llegaron al punto del objetivo sin éxito en su cometido por apresarlo. Choromatsu tembló en su sitio por la poderosa presencia que tenía delante de él, era abrumante y carente del sentido lógico que tanto trataba de encontrarle a la situación. La divinidad se giró hacia él ablandando su expresión para no impresionarlo más. Le sonrió cálidamente sin dejar de desprender luz de su cuerpo medio incorpóreo. No tuvo éxito tampoco, Choromatsu soltó un sonido espantado desde su garganta apenas vio su propio rostro siendo portado por la deidad. -¡¿EH?! –Gritó retrocediendo un paso. -No te asustes, Choromatsu-kun –Calmó el ser brillante –Estoy aquí para ayudarte y protegerte. Puedes llamarme Kami o Megami Choromatsu, yo soy el Dios de mi universo –Explicó extendiendo las manos hacia su persona, enseñándole las palmas para demostrarle que era inofensivo para él. El de sudadera verde no le puso mucha atención, le escuchó de forma fragmentada entre la confusión que atacaba con fuerza su cabeza. Oyó sonidos distorsionados en su espalda, alarmándolo de tal manera que se giró para encarar con miedo cualquier otro peligro que se aproximara. Abrió los ojos cuando vio al espacio romperse bastante más alto del suelo, por sobre la altura de su cabeza. Y desde la espiral distorsionada que apareció un hombre de vestimentas verdes salió estampando una gigantesca llave color cobre sobre la cual se apoyó. -Es un lugar muy extraño –Dijo mirando hacia todas direcciones, acentuando más el agarre con el enorme libro que tenía entre las manos. Inmediatamente alguien más saltó al costado del sujeto con pinta de mago, sosteniéndose con una mano en el suelo para no caer de bruces. Su imagen no era menos psicodélica que el anterior. -Argh, que extraño fue eso –Se quejó acomodándose el cabello verde. Miró hacia los lados como si estuviera buscando algo. -¡¿EEEEEHHHH?! –Exclamó Choromatsu apenas les vio las facciones, todas iguales a las suyas. Eso no podía ser verdad. ~ * ~* ~~ ~~ ~ * ~* ~~ Osomatsu parpadeó varias veces para asegurarse que seguía despierto. Lo que tenía enfrente no era normal, incluso alguien tan idiota como él podía entenderlo con facilidad.El aire deforme se encendió en una llamarada de fuego que lo crispó de la impresión, fijándose en la figura que apareció por entre las llamas que se disiparon poco a poco una vez que entró en escena. -¿Totty? –Pronunció lo primero que se le vino a la mente al ver la cara de la persona que lo miró con malévola diversión. -Oh, qué irónico. Me tocó el demonio –Dijo llevándose una mano a los labios en un intento de cubrir la sonrisa despectiva que le dio. Osomatsu frunció el ceño pensando que le estaba hablando a él. Todomatsu estaba envestido muy extraño, con un vestido pomposo rosa y un sombrero grande y redondo del mismo color, casi como una muñeca. Tenía entre las manos un trío de velas blancas encendidas sobre su propio cerote, escurriéndole hacia abajo sin quemarle. Quitando todo eso, además estaba flotando con las piernas recogidas, casi recostado en el aire.No podía ser su hermano menor, él todavía era humanamente incapaz de alcanzar ese nivel demoníaco. O esperaba que aún no. -Lo siento, pero me tengo que deshacer de ti. Hasta nunca ~ -Dijo cantarinamente alzando un dedo que separó desde las velas, apuntándole con una de sus largas uñas negras. El de sudadera roja tuvo un extraño tic en el ojo apenas vio cómo una impresionante luz explotaba desde la punta como si estuviera cargando todo su poder, acumulándose en una energía negra y rosa que se dirigió hacia él como una línea fosforescente. -¡¿Todomatsu?! ¡¿Qué estás haciendo?! –Exclamó sin poderse creer lo que veía. No obstante, un montón de pelos castaños le dificultaron la visual. Era un espeso pelaje claro que se abría en varias secciones, en forma de largas colas ostentosas.Miró sobre ellas una cabellera negra que tenía un par de orejas felinas del mismo color claro las cuales resaltaron cuando se movieron. Vestía un kimono rojo del mismo color de su sudadera, parándose derecho para recibir un ataque que detuvo con ambas manos. -¡Ah, ibas enserio! –Dijo sacudiéndose las manos humeantes una vez la luz rosa desapareció. Sonrió con expresión pícara –Entonces yo también lo haré –Advirtió estirando sus siete colas hacia arriba, repartiéndolas en forma de estrella para encender un fuego fatuo en cada punta. -No, de hecho no iba enserio –Aclaró Todomatsu perdiendo el interés. Redirigió la dirección de su dedo hacia arriba, girándolo un par de veces con expresión hastiada –Es una pena, pero ya no me queda más tiempo para seguir jugando contigo, es inútil alargar esto –Dijo cerrando los ojos en un profundo suspiro desanimado, abriendo un agujero negro sobre su cabeza acorde a sus movimientos. -Insisto, juguemos un poco –Incentivó el sujeto con aspecto de zorro enseñando una de sus palmas donde se encendió en una llama azul –No te vayas tan pronto ~ -Pidió sonriendo malicioso. Todomatsu levantó una ceja expectante, siendo absorbido por la oscuridad que lo hizo desaparecer tan rápido como llegó. Osomatsu volvió a parpadear cuando todo regresó a la normalidad. -¿Un kitsune? –Se preguntó en voz alta mientras veía como las colas volvían a bajar poco a poco. El zorro se giró para encararlo con expresión relajada. Ah, esa era su cara. Sí, no la de sus hermanos, la suya.¿Qué hacía su rostro en un Kitsune aparecido de la nada? Bueno, tenía sentido si recordaba con más atención el folklore de su cultura. Los Youkai podían tomar forma humana con cierta facilidad, el problema es que solían hacerlo con la imagen de alguna mujer. De todas formas, seguía siendo aterrador en cierto sentido. -Hey, qué tal –Saludó el Yokai alzando una mano amigable –Soy Osomatsu, espero llevarnos bien –Se presentó rascándose bajo la nariz en un ademán demasiado familiar para él. -¿Quién? –Inquirió como si no hubiese escuchado, oír su nombre salir de la boca de ese ser extraño no podía convencerlo. Alguien cayendo detrás de él le hizo girarse a mirarlo, topándose con un hombre más alto quien se quejaba por la caída que había tenido. -¿Eh? ¿Ichimatsu? –Buscó con la mirada levantándose para mirar hacia todas direcciones, topándose con ellos para después intimidarse en impresión. Lucía igual que él, sólo que tenía un aire más… ¿Maduro? ¿Adulto? Tan extraño que le daban escalofríos. Llevaba puesta una simple camiseta roja y unos jeans comunes, con el mismo maldito corte que veía todos los días en él mismo y sus cinco hermanos. Un mapache cayó rebotando en el piso. Agitó la cabeza sentándose en sus patas traseras, tocándose las orejas con las delanteras. -¿Tanuki? –Se dijo sin creérselo –Ah, no. ¡¿Es un ressāpanda?! –Gritó como si se hubiese dado cuenta de la diferencia que tenía uno de otro -¡¿Y tiene mi cara?! –Volvió a chillar abriendo las manos. Más que un panda rojo, parecía un animalito antropomórfico de cabeza, porque sólo ésta poseía un rostro humano igual al suyo. -¡Somos los Osomatsu de distintos universos! –Dijo con expresión divertida el yokai. Osomatsu se giró a verlo con rapidez -¡Y estamos aquí para ayudarte esta vez! – Un momento, ¿Cómo? Sí, definitivamente los Matsuno no se aburrirían por un buen rato. * ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- * -¿Qué son quién? –Preguntó Osomatsu rascándose la cabeza con los pensamientos revueltos. -¿Te estás lavando las orejas o eres medio sordo? –Indagó el Osomatsu del kimono haciendo un gesto técnico con su meñique –Sólo tienes que vernos para entenderlo, somos todos iguales –Dijo sonriéndole como si estuviese satisfecho de saber que era más idiota que él. El Osomatsu original frunció el ceño. -¡¿HA?! Sean quienes sean, devuélvanse por donde llegaron, no me importa. Volveré a casa –Espetó mosqueado de la situación, metiéndose ambas manos en los bolsillos de su sudadera. Si es que no se estaba volviendo loco, no tenía interés alguno en tener que lidiar con sus otros yo salidos de quién sabe dónde, una revista erótica estaba esperando por él en algún estante de por ahí. -¡Un momento! ¿Qué es todo esto? ¿Dónde está mi hermano? –Lo detuvo el Osomatsu más alto, aquel que parecía ser el más normal de todos. El mayor de los sextillizos exhaló exhausto, preguntándose qué clase de hongo alucinógeno se había comido. -¡Aaahh, yo qué sé! No fui yo quien saltó de una dimensión desconocida –Le contestó volteando los ojos hacia arriba. -¡Exacto! –Exclamó el yokai –Por eso mismo, ¿Podrías escuchar lo que tenemos que decirte? Él también está confundido, necesito explicarles el problema. Es tedioso también para mi ¿Sabes? –Dijo cruzándose de brazos con indignación y agitando sus colas con molestia. -… ¿Si te escucho cinco minutos se irán y me dejarán en paz? –Tanteó el de sudadera roja. -Lo más pronto posible –Respondió con aires ganadores, encogiendo los bigotes felinos cuando sonrió. -Hecho –Concretó Osomatsu. -Bien, síganme. No es como si tuvieran otra opción tampoco –Dijo avanzando entre todos los presentes, comenzando un trayecto por el lado contrario hacia donde se dirigía Osomatsu inicialmente –El Dios lo dirá todo, pero les daré una introducción – Ah, qué molesto. Y él que quería ir al pachinko a despejarse. El panda rojo se subió al hombro del yokai con rapidez, sujetándose de ahí para avanzar con él. El Osomatsu de camiseta lo miró un instante más con atención, escaneando su rostro con algo de desconfianza para después seguir al ser sobrenatural. Comenzó a caminar detrás de ellos también con desgana, pensando en dónde diablos podría haber consumido esa droga tan potente para hacerlo ver ilusiones tan tangibles, de manera accidental claro está…no es como si tuviese dinero para gastarlo en ese tipo de cosas, ya tenía suficiente con algo de tabaco al mes. Una espiral se abrió frente a ellos absorbiéndolos de forma sorpresiva, recordándole a Osomatsu cuán zafado de la cabeza estaba como para imaginar semejante delirio. Acto seguido; se vio rodeado de un césped interminable luego de abrir los ojos, sintiéndose en un inmenso parque frondoso y extenso con un montón de bancas de piedra concentradas en el centro.Cerca de ellos varios espirales se abrieron en conjunto dejando salir a un pelotón de personas que se apiñaron sin querer una vez aparecieron. Reconoció todas las caras como si fuese un mal chiste, preguntándose cuántos clones distintos podía soportar su cabeza por procesar. Sus hermanos hicieron contacto visual con él, abriendo los ojos lo más posible y levantando las cejas al mismo tiempo en una expresión idéntica. -¡¿Eh?! ¡¿Dónde estamos?! –Chilló Todomatsu mirando a su alrededor. -¡¿Osomatsu-niisan, qué demonios?! –Increpó Choromatsu como si el mayor tuviese la culpa de todo. -¡Qué, no me mires así, Choropajerovski! –Contestó más que mosqueado. -¡¿Quién rayos es Choropajerovski?! –Respondió con los ánimos encendidos. Al parecer las cosas se estaban saliendo de control, los sextillizos estaban claramente confundidos unos con otros y comenzaban a alterarse por cualquier cosa; por lo que Megami alzó la voz interponiéndose entre todos ellos. -Mantengan la calma –Apaciguó sin tener mucho éxito –Los hemos traído hasta aquí para explicarles la situación, en este momento estamos en un área neutral; es decir, un sitio franco – -¿Un qué? –Preguntó Osomatsu. -Un territorio divino –Aclaró mirándolo un poco sacado de quicio por la interrupción –En este lugar no pueden ingresar seres que no haya invocado, nadie los puede atacar aquí –Dijo flotando hacia una posición donde todos pudiesen verlo mejor –Los sextillizos Matsuno de este mundo están bajo amenaza – -No me digas que nos drogamos todos juntos y no me enteré –Le dijo Osomatsu al tercer hermano. -¿De qué estás hablando? Aunque…sí, todo esto es muy extraño –Contestó con pose analítica, revisando cada pulgada del Dios que tenía al frente. Recordaba haber ocupado esas vestimentas para hacer tonterías con Jyushimatsu, pero no superaba una sola ocasión. Ahora un clon de él se presentaba como una especie de divinidad que todo lo sabía. No sabía hasta qué punto podía molestarle, su ego versus la realidad no contrastaban bien en ese escenario tan peculiar. -¿Quieren callarse de una vez? –Ordenó hastiado el Karamatsu de camisa azul. -¿Quién te crees, Kusomatsu? –Reclamó Ichimatsu girando la cabeza para encontrarse con un segundo hermano mucho más intimidante del que normalmente solía tratar. -Eh…estoy aquí, burazza–Llamó el Karamatsu original apuntándose a sí mismo. El resto de los hermanos se voltearon a mirarlo como pocas veces lo hacían en sus vidas. -¡Escuchen! –Alertó el Dios para volver a tener la atención de todos –Las personas que conocieron hace un momento son sus otros yo de diferentes universos alternos. He tenido que invocarlos a todos ellos en este universo para poder protegerlos a ustedes –Explicó apuntándolos con la mirada. -¿Protegernos de qué? –Inquirió Choromatsu de forma automática, cayendo en la cuenta de que hace un rato atrás efectivamente estaba siendo atacado por alguien más. Megami suspiró descendiendo un poco sobre el suelo para quedar cerca de su altura –Un demonio ha decidido borrarlos de este mundo – -¡Ah! ¡Yo lo vi! –Exclamó Karamatsu poniéndose una mano en la barbilla –Lucía como Osomatsu –Explicó provocando que todos miraran al aludido. -Exactamente –Dijo el Dios dándole la razón antes de que siquiera Osomatsu pudiese debatirlo –Ése demonio que luce como su hermano pertenece a mi universo. Él se ha robado la energía divina más poderosa que existe en nuestro mundo para poder transportarse a éste, reclutando a otros seres antes de hacerlo para poder obtener más ventaja sobre ustedes –Explicó decidiéndose en posarse sobre una de las rocas grises para tomar asiento. -Estás diciendo que es su culpa –Dijo Todomatsu apuntando con el pulgar al mayor de ellos. -¡Oye! –Berreó Osomatsu con el ceño fruncido. -¡¿Qué hiciste ahora, Osomatsu-niisan?! –Regañó Choromatsu apretando las manos. -¡¿Estás sordo?! ¡No soy yo! –Se defendió el de sudadera roja. -Cada uno tiene una contraparte en distintas dimensiones. Son diferentes seres que comparten una zona de la misma energía cósmica, pertenecientes a universos independientes. Todos somos el mismo ser con diferentes espíritus repartidos en muchos lugares más, existen una infinidad de mundos a lo largo de este inmenso enlace energético y continúan creándose más cada cierto tiempo; incluso en estos momentos deben haber algunos naciendo mientras hablamos –Dijo abriendo una de sus palmas en señal explicativa –No obstante, según su cantidad energética todos esos mundos tienen algo en común: Todo indica que provienen de este universo –La mirada seria que el Dios le dedicó a los sextillizos les hizo parpadear absortos en lo que acaban de oír. -¡Osomatsu-niisan! –Lloró un niño de camisetita morada buscando a su alrededor, dejando caer las gruesas lágrimas que había contenido a pesar del miedo que sintió apenas vio a tantas personas desconocidas. -¡Ichimatsu! –Devolvió el llamado el Osomatsu de camiseta roja lisa, como si estuviese despertando de un aturdimiento al que lo había sumergido el relato del Dios. La monja y el mago de la llave se apartaron un poco para darle el paso al niño que había decidido seguir la voz conocida que tanto buscaba, alzando los brazos cuando el mayor corrió hacia él para rodearlo con los suyos. -Okay, esto es más que extraño –Dijo el Osomatsu de sudadera mirando la escena. -Sí, no puedo creer que haya un Osomatsu-niisan que de verdad parece un buen hermano mayor –Soltó Todomatsu sacando su celular aporreado para tomar una fotografía. -Quién lo diría –Murmuró Ichimatsu con voz monótona, haciendo asentir a Jyushimatsu efusivamente a su lado. -Lo lamento –Se disculpó Megami desde su posición –El conflicto fue tan repentino que me vi obligado a tomar medidas drásticas para seguir al demonio hasta aquí, saltando entre los universos que me permitían mis poderes divinos. El Osomatsu demonio logró recolectar a sus contrapartes con más poder energético para lograr destruirlos; gracias a la luz que alimentó sus capacidades. Durante el poco tiempo que tenía, reuní a la mayor cantidad de personas para poder combatirlo; invocando a humanos también en el proceso. El último universo que visité, fue el de ellos –Dijo apuntándolos con el índice. -¿N-no hay m-manera de regresar? –Inquirió vacilante el Karamatsu más cohibido de los que habían ahí. -¿Karamatsu-niisan? –Llamó un Jyushimatsu para abrirse paso entre todos hasta hacer contacto visual, el olor se había hecho más intenso asegurándole que era su hermano mayor el que también estaba en ese lugar. -¡Jyushimatsu! –Soltó dejando salir todo el aire que había retenido en un suspiro aliviado, dándose cuenta que el olor a Alfa no había sido producto de su imaginación desesperada entre ese tumulto de aparentes Betas. -Me temo que no –Respondió el Dios cuando los vio acercarse entre ellos –Necesito el más mínimo ápice de energía proveniente de ustedes para poder arrebatarle la luz maligna que posee Osomatsu, de otra manera no hay forma de regresarlos a sus lugares de origen – Osomatsu volteó a ver a Choromatsu y a Todomatsu -…Enserio quiero saber qué fue lo que nos inyectamos – -¡¿Me están escuchando?! –Reventó Megami perdiendo los estribos, comenzando a aclararse la garganta para volver a retomar la compostura –Jyushimatsu, ven aquí –Ordenó provocando que el ángel agitara sus alas para alzarse, obligando que todos a su alrededor se cubrieran del viento que sopló al hacerlo. -¡Sí, Megami-sama! –Contestó alegremente cuando llegó a su lado, dejando de aletear para flotar suavemente. El quinto hermano miró de forma natural al tercero con una expresión inexplicable. -Deposita esto en cada uno de sus pechos –Dijo abriendo las manos como si estuviese estirando algo, dejando aparecer varias burbujas llenas de agua que se balancearon en una hilera destellante. El ángel abrió su palma derecha para recibirlas una a una, colocándolas alrededor de su cuerpo para después proyectarlas hacia las demás personas que tenían frente a ellos. Varias exclamaciones de asombro salieron al unísono cuando las burbujas de agua se inyectaron en sus pechos hasta desaparecer. Los sextillizos se tocaron la zona esperando que ésta estuviera empapada, sin embargo todavía permanecía seca. -¡¿Qué nos hiciste?! –Exclamó Todomatsu mirándolo con las cejas alzadas. -Como dije, necesito todo su poder energético para lograr regresarlo a donde pertenece. Esa agua sagrada facilitará que éste fluya más fácilmente hacia mí. No se preocupen, se desvanecerá una vez la haya consumido por completo. Algunos de ustedes pueden defenderse a sí mismos con su propia magia, les pido que por favor nos ayuden con su fuerza natural–Explicó extendiendo de nuevo una de sus manos. El padre y la hermana se inclinaron con respeto hacia el ser divino, mucho más exagerados que el ángel quien hizo una reverencia en el aire. -¡Hahaha, qué raros son! –Carcajeó Jyushimatsu tentado a sonreír con genuino gusto. Le parecía divertido ver toda esa situación tan extraña. -¡Jyushimatsu-niisan! No digas eso frente a ellos… -Murmuró Todomatsu apegándose de manera involuntaria a Choromatsu. Esas personas de verdad parecían peligrosas y con todo lo que había visto sabía que con sólo mover los dedos podrían matarlos a todos. -Heh, no te preocupes, burazza –Soltó Karamatsu quien no había tenido oportunidad para decir algo – Yo los protegeré de las adversidades que éstas personas profesan, seré su escudo con tal de salvarlos, seré…- -Adelante, entonces –Masculló irritado Ichimatsu ante la propuesta. -¡Ay, ay, ay! ¡No empieces con tus cosas ahora, Kusomatsu! –Gritó Osomatsu agarrándose uno de sus costados. Podía tener bastante paciencia ignorando este tipo de cosas dolorosas que salían de la boca del segundo hermano, pero en ese preciso instante su cabeza estaba colmada con un montón de patrañas que no entendía. Karamatsu no pareció inmutarse con la respuesta puesto que siguió haciendo poses heroicas trilladas. -No me importa lo que tengan que hacer, necesito que Ichimatsu vuelva a un lugar seguro –Habló alzando la voz el Osomatsu más alto quien se había puesto de pie sosteniendo en sus brazos al niño que ya no sollozaba y se sostenía de su camiseta. -No has escuchado bien, eso no es posible –Contestó el Ichimatsu de traje blanco desde la otra dirección. Agitó con sus labios el puro que se había llevado a la boca sin que nadie se enterara, exhalando el humo mientras miraba al de rojo con ojos penetrantes. -Y he dicho que no me interesa. Van a devolverlo ahora mismo, un niño no puede pelear con lo que sea que están diciendo –Debatió acomodando al menor que se había removido nervioso. -Ten cuidado cuando me respondas así, coglione–Advirtió sacándose el tabaco de los dientes. El Karamatsu de camisa se aferró a su cinturón disimuladamente, preparado para responder a su manera si las cosas se salían de control. -No hay por qué encender los ánimos más aún –Intervino el dios desde su posición, haciéndole una seña a su arcángel quien voló hacia los del problema –Lo siento mucho, Osomatsu-san. Todavía siendo un niño Ichimatsu-kun es necesario para completar el círculo energético que necesitamos –Dijo colocándose de pie y levantándose con suavidad por el aire. -¡Energía aquí, energía acá! ¡No me jodan! Pueden dejarme aquí, pero él tiene que volver con mi familia. Esta cosa de locos no es algo que un niño tenga que pasar –Exclamó ofuscado sujetando la cabeza del pequeño que se escondió en su cuello. -Wow, nii-chan te está defendiendo, Ichimatsu-niisan –Molestó Todomatsu con voz burlesca al de sudadera morada. -Tch. Cállate, ese no soy yo –Farfulló moviendo el codo con desagrado como si con eso pudiese sacudirse las burlas del menor. -No te avergüences, Oniichan puede protegerte en otros universos también, Ichimatsu-kun ~ -Tonteó Osomatsu para seguirle el juego a Todomatsu, extrañamente relajado de que las cosas tomaran otro rumbo para él. -¡Oigan, ustedes! ¡Déjense de estupideces! –Chilló Choromatsu salvándole sin querer el pellejo al cuarto hermano que se volvía rojo entre la rabia y la vergüenza. Una luz llamó la atención de todos. El arcángel Jyushimatsu se había puesto en medio para desprender un destello amarillento que los calmó de manera inexplicable. La irradiaba desde sus manos, juntándolas como si la estuviese sosteniendo con mucho cuidado. -No te preocupes, él estará bien. Lo protegeremos igual que aquellos que no pueden luchar, ninguno saldrá herido –Dijo Megami acercándose con parsimonia mientras la luz se desvanecía poco a poco –Sólo necesitamos su entera voluntad para poder hacerlo –El de camiseta roja lo miró con recelo, observando después la diminuta espalda que acarició con intensiones protectoras. -¿Estás seguro? –Inquirió menos agitado por la luz tranquilizadora que lo acogió, intercalando miradas con el ángel que se acercaba lentamente a ellos. -¡Oye, no te preocupes! –Saltó el Kitsune a su lado moviendo las colas -¿De verdad eres parte de mí? Pensé que serías más despreocupado, puedes estar tranquilo, aquí estoy yo para ayudarlos con mi magia ¡Soy muy poderoso! –Se aduló inflando el pecho y colocándose ambas manos en las caderas para asegurar su postura –Además, sus contrapartes ya se comprometieron desde antes que nada malo le pasaría, ¡Tu hermanito es parte de ellos, después de todo! –Dijo apuntándolos con el pulgar. La monja se frotó el codo cuando las miradas se posaron en su persona, sonriendo parcamente entre su aspecto desabrido. El Ichimatsu de traje también le sonrió a pesar que todavía seguía con cara de pocos amigos, acomodándose el sombrero sobre su cabeza.El Osomatsu de camiseta exhaló un poco más en confianza. No se movió cuando el ángel llegó hasta estar muy cerca del niño entre sus brazos. -¡Hey, sonríe! –Dijo el ser divino incitando lo que pedía con su propia radiante sonrisa, dejando aparecer entre sus mangas caídas minúsculas pompas luminosas que subieron hasta la nariz del pequeño, causándole cosquillas risueñas de lo esponjosas que eran. El pequeño Ichimatsu recordó esa mueca contenta en su hermano menor, causándole risas infantiles al sentirse acompañado de alguien tan parecido a su familiar. Su conciencia de niño no lo sabía, pero ya no se sentía asustado entre esos extraños. El Osomatsu de camiseta sonrió entre un suspiro vencido. Resignándose a confiar en esos seres que pretendían tener los rostros de sus hermanos. -¡Es tan lindo! –Exclamó una chica de cabello rosa llevándose ambas manos a la cara, moviendo la llamativa falda que hizo desconcentrarse a los sextillizos de la escena anterior. Sus piernas eran delgadas y esbeltas, también su aspecto era tan femenino que se les olvidó por un segundo que se trataba de una de las contrapartes de Todomatsu. -No sabía que podíamos ser mujeres –Habló Choromatsu demasiado concentrado en no apartar sus ojos del busto promedio que traía la chica. -¿Qué no viste a la monja, Choropajerovski? –Inquirió Osomatsu también deteniéndose en esa parte de la anatomía. -Ah, Jyushimatsu también tiene una –Murmuró Ichimatsu sonrojado de ver otras piernas desnudas debajo de una falda. -¡Oye, teóricamente somos nosotros, eso es asqueroso! –Chilló Todomatsu saliendo de su ensimismamiento al tener una mujer tan linda frente a él. Bueno, tenía su cara adorable después de todo; y con los rasgos más delicados no podía esperar otra cosa que no fuera bella. -¡¿Me-me-me están mirando?! –Cayó en cuenta la peli rosada de los seis pares de ojos que todavía no se despegaban del borde de su falda. Se bajó la delantera tratando de cubrir sus piernas de miradas indiscretas, levantando ligeramente la parte trasera al hacerlo. Alzó el brazo lo más alto que pudo, invocando a su mano un báculo dorado con punta arponada y diminutas alas rosas. Los hermanos sudaron frío al darse cuenta del súbito cambio de ambiente. Monedas de distintos valores aparecieron en fila cuando jaló el objeto hacia atrás, preparada para lanzar un ataque lleno de brillos y luces por doquier; no obstante, no menos inofensivo. -¡Ah, maldita sea! –Chasqueó la lengua un Todomatsu vestido de blanco, enfriando el dinero volador antes de que éste saliera eyectado hacia los seis hermanos – ¡Yo no tengo por qué estar deteniendo ataques entre ustedes, ya tengo suficiente con esto! Contrólate un poco, Todo-chan. Son sólo un montón de humanos tontos –Reclamó Yuki-onna sosteniendo al conejito rosa que saltó hacia sus brazos en un error terrible, puesto que éste tiritaba medio congelado tratando de escapar. -Ah, hay más mujeres –Dijo Karamatsu un poco reticente a hacer más comentarios con el báculo todavía apuntando a su dirección. El yokai lo miró con una ceja alzada –Nah, yo soy un hombre –Respondió con simpleza escondiendo las manos entre las mangas de su kimono al juntarlas. -¡¿EH?! ¡¿Qué demonios?! –Vociferó Todomatsu un poco descolocado de su gusto tridimensional por travestirse. -Esto está lleno de fenómenos –Murmuró más allá el Choromatsu de cabello exótico. No parecía particularmente cómodo con todo ese circo montado y que nadie estuviese oponiéndose. -¡Hay hombres iguales a mis hermanas! –Gritó la chica que tenía puesta la misma sudadera de Jyushimatsu. -¡Alto! –Llamó el dios con voz tan fuerte que hizo a todos voltear hacia su dirección -¡Silencio, ordénense todos! –Dijo tratando de contener el caos que se había producido, produciendo luz propia sin darse cuenta para destensar el ambiente –Necesito liberar este lugar lo antes posible, estamos desgastando recursos importantes. Por el momento debemos conseguir un lugar que nos permita hablar mejor entre nosotros, conocer a nuestros yo alternos servirá antes de enfrentarnos a los que están poseídos –Se produjo un silencio que había sido añorado por algunos. Megami miró a los sextillizos por enésima vez. -Lamento pedirles esto, pero ¿Podríamos utilizar su hogar como zona de resguardo? –Inquirió descendiendo hasta casi quedar a su altura. -¡¿Eh, nuestra casa?! –Osomatsu fue el primero en hablar. -¡No, no, no, imposible! ¡Mamá nos mataría! –Exclamó Choromatsu en contra, alertado de saber que probablemente esa sería la gota que rebasaría el vaso para que su madre sufriera un infarto por sus rarezas. Dieciocho personas más aparte de ellos en la misma casa con su mismo rostro, presentándose en la entrada casi como nuevos hijos salidos de la nada sin dudar mataría a su progenitora apenas los viese. Y después a su padre, de paso. -¡No cabríamos ni en nuestra propia habitación! –Gritó Osomatsu con indignación al imaginarse a todos apiñados en el cuarto. -¡¿Es eso lo que te preocupa?! –Increpó el tercer hijo ante la idiotez del mayor. -Mhm, ciertamente nuestra Mom estaría anonadada de esto –Soltó Karamatsu sosteniéndose la barbilla. -¡Nos echaría de casa! –Aulló Jyushimatsu alzando las manos como si eso no fuese algo malo para ellos. -¡Ah, no puede ser! –Dijo Todomatsu sujetándose la cabeza. -¡Primero se moriría, montón de idiotas! –Siguió reclamando Choromatsu a sus hermanos. -…y después nos echaría –Murmuró Ichimatsu tratando de estar ajeno al alboroto. -¡No, ya no podría hacer eso, Ichimatsu! ¡¿Es que ninguno va a decir algo coherente aquí?! –Chilló el de verde con la exasperación en su punto máximo. -Tranquilos, tranquilos –Calmó el Dios mirando un poco divertido la pelea infantil que tenían ese grupo de supuestos adultos –Puedo hechizarla para no hacerle daño, de esa forma no tendría problema en que entremos a su hogar –Explicó mostrando sus palmas. Los hermanos pensaron un momento, asintiendo al unísono sin decir nada más. -¡Si, si! ¿Nos vamos, Megami-sama? –Preguntó alegremente el arcángel que aleteó a su lado. -Sí, liberaré el espacio –Contestó volteando su mano para abrir un agujero negro debajo de sus pies, el cual se extendió hasta invadir todo el territorio en el cual antes estaban. Bastó un parpadeo para que la oscuridad que recién los consumía se alejara huyendo de la luz solar. Observaron el frontis de su casa como si nunca antes la hubiesen visto, sintiéndose como un montón de niños que regresaban después de una travesura que les había salido mal. Se voltearon tentados a pensar que tal vez sí había sido un sueño demasiado fumado para ellos y que sólo habían regresado guiados por sus cuerpos drogados; de hecho Osomatsu se asustó de no saber cómo consiguió semejante poder hipnótico y de cuánto había gastado en él. Pero no, ahí estaba esa cantidad abrumadora de gente mirándolos con sus rostros iguales. A los seis les recorrió un escalofrío por la espalda por haber tenido el mismo pensamiento aterrador. Ah, si el Dios mentía acerca de lo que les había dicho definitivamente sus cabezas rodarían por el suelo; y de paso sus cómodas vidas de ninis buenos para nada.Conservar esa comodidad era una opción mucho más tentadora a perder el cuello. Osomatsu avanzó primero acostumbrado a ser el que daba el primer paso cuando las cosas se ponían complicadas y tenía que darle explicaciones a su madre. No era como si lo siguiera haciendo ahora que era un adulto, pero la ocasión lo ameritaba y su instinto reaccionó de manera automática. Abrió la puerta principal para ingresar a la entrada, fijándose en el silencio que apenas era interrumpido por el sonido de un grifo abierto en la cocina. “Maldición, está en casa” -Tadaima –Dijeron a coro los seis hermanos una vez estuvieron todos adentro. No pareció haberse dado cuenta de su presencia. -Eh…estamos en casa –Repitió Osomatsu con voz más alta, extrañamente interesado en que su madre los fuera a recibir. Una parte de él quería ver su rostro en primera fila cuando viera que tendría dieciocho hijos temporales más. El grifo se cerró y el casi inaudible chorro de agua se detuvo, dejando oír los pasos que se acercaban por el pasillo. La silueta de Matsuyo apareció frente a ellos secándose las manos en el delantal, impresionándolos de que de hecho se hubiese dado ánimos de irlos a recibir a sus veintitantos años de edad. Tal vez el segundo llamado había sido el detonante, o un simple instinto de madre de que algo no andaba bien, quizás. -Ah, bienvenidos… -Dijo quedándose a media marcha al ver que los hermanos traían más visita. Demasiada visita, diría ella. Frunció el ceño, sin percatarse del todo que la mayoría tenían pintas demasiado estrafalarias. -¡¿Pero qué significa est- -Hikari bōkyaku <<光忘却>>–Intervino el Dios alzando la mano hacia la frente de la mujer, viajando tan rápido que los hermanos no tuvieron tiempo de verlo hasta que estaba entre su visual. Otra luz se inyectó como un relámpago en el rostro de Matsuyo, dejándola un poco trastrabillada cuando ésta se esfumó. -Buenas tardes, señora Matsuno –Saludó Megami bajando de altura, no obstante aún sin tocar el suelo –Lamentamos la imprudencia, pero por favor ¿Podría mantenernos en su casa por un tiempo? Prometo no causarle inconvenientes –Dijo sonriéndole como si le estuviera vendiendo algún producto cosmético. -Ah…claro, no hay problema –Contestó la mujer parpadeando varias veces, preguntándose el por qué Choromatsu lucía tan extraño. Miró de soslayo a las demás personas que estaban detrás de él, sin sentir extrañeza o miedo –Pueden tomarse su tiempo –Sonrió confundida, acariciándose las sienes como si algo muy en el fondo le tratara de decir que lo que acababa de decir era una tontería de dimensiones astrológicas. Se dio media vuelta con las luces de colores todavía dificultándole la visual, alejándose por el pasillo sin decir nada más. -¡Aaah! ¡Si tan sólo supiéramos hacer eso! –Chilló Osomatsu agarrándose la cabeza. De cuántos regaños se podría haber liberado en su niñez… ¡De cuánta plata podría pedirle sin tener que oírla exigírsela de regreso! -Eso fue demasiado fácil… -Murmuró Choromatsu estupefacto. -Fue como un lavado de cerebro –Habló Ichimatsu algo molesto por toda la luz que había visto en el día. Se retiraron los zapatos uno a uno, subiendo el peldaño de la casa para darle espacio a los demás de hacer lo mismo. Los seres espirituales siguieron de largo, dejando de lado a algunos que tenían más dificultad en sacarse el calzado.El tropel de gente subió por las escaleras guiados por los anfitriones, incomodándose del pequeño espacio que quedó en la habitación al ingresar todos en ella. -Todo será más fácil si su enlace energético está en armonía con sus pares, por lo que hablar con sus otros yo y entenderse los unos con los otros es de vital importancia –Habló Megami acercándose a Choromatsu hasta quedar a su altura, posando de una vez por todas sus pies en el suelo. Todos se miraron entre ellos, decidiéndose a separarse en pequeños grupos alejados, entrecomillas; ya que el espacio de todas formas los hacía quedar cerca de los demás. Algunos se sentaron y otros permanecieron de pie. -Se suponía que todo este tema sería rápido ¿En qué momento me dejé emboscar por ti? –Inquirió Osomatsu suspirando con pesadez, dándose por vencido y con una pataleta a punto de aparecer. El yokai lo miró con expresión felina y sonriente –Digamos que es mi especialidad –Se alabó a sí mismo mientras se abanicaba, relajándose en el suelo para apoyar sus colas en la pared y poder recostarse en ellas. Osomatsu se sentó cruzado de piernas, apoyándose el codo en una rodilla y descansando el mentón en la palma. El Osomatsu de camiseta roja se sentó a su otro lado de la misma manera, menos enrabietado que el otro. Tenía su atención puesta en el niño de púrpura que estaba a su lado jugando con lo que parecía ser el hábito de la monja.El panda rojo se encaramó entre las piernas flexionadas de Osomatsu, asustándolo al querer jugar en su regazo. -No, enserio, ¿Qué rayos se supone que eres? –Le inquirió esperando una respuesta que no llegó, el animalito lo observó con ojos entusiasmados y expectantes, como si no entendiese del todo qué era lo que le decía. -Es un panda rojo, ¿Tan desconocido es en esta región? –Comentó el zorro espectral. -Oh, ya veo. Cómo no lo vi antes, si es tan fácil distinguir este tipo de bichos… ¡Tiene mi maldita cara en él! –Apuntó ofuscado al rostro humano de la criatura que se lo rascó con una de sus patas. -Claro, se supone que es una parte de ti –Contestó el Yokai. -No, creo que no me entiendes lo que digo –Dijo Osomatsu entrecerrando los ojos. -¿Para qué hacemos todo esto? Está claro que no tenemos nada en común excepto nuestros rostros –Preguntó el Osomatsu de camiseta, volteando el rostro para al fin prestarles algo de atención. -Oohh…podríamos parecernos más de lo que tú crees. No sabemos nada del otro, para eso estamos tratando de entendernos –Contestó el yokai ensimismado en jugar con el panda quien trataba de atraparle la mano. -Mhhmm…-Pensó Osomatsu cruzándose de brazos –Bien, podríamos comenzar por saber qué hace cada uno en su mundo –Dijo intercalando miradas. -¡Soy el zorro más poderoso de dónde vengo! Mi fuerza no se compara con ningún otro que haya pisado la región, ¡No, del país! ¡No, del mundo! Pero como soy benevolente, sólo me dedico a hacer travesuras por ahí sin destrozar las cosas con mi presencia –Narró el Kitsune inflándose el pecho una vez más. -¡Ah, eres igual de perezoso que yo! –Apuntó Osomatsu sonriéndole como si fuese un aspecto positivo en común. -¡No lo digas así! ¡Contener mi fuerza es un gran trabajo! –Respondió moviendo las colas con molestia. -Yo trabajo en una escuela, es…- -¡Momento! ¡¿Qué?! –Chilló Osomatsu volteándose a mirar al de su izquierda -¡¿Trabajo?! –Recalcó en unísono con el yokai. -Eh, sí, ya voy para los veinti- -¿Estás seguro que eres mi alterno de no sé qué? Eso es aterrador –Interrumpió otra vez el Matsuno de sudadera roja, apoyándose con el zorro que parecía tener más sentido común como él. -¿Se supone que está mal que trabaje? –Tanteó entre risas disimuladas el de camiseta, su tono burlesco le sonsacó una expresión de ofensa al contrario. -¡Por supuesto! Hay cosas mucho más importantes que eso, además ¡¿Qué Matsuno Osomatsu diría que trabaja con esa frescura como si no le importara?! ¡Es terrible! –Dijo alarmándose como si se acabara de enterar de una horrorosa calamidad. Y es que lo era, en cierto modo le molestaba que su alterno tuviese más éxito en una vida normal como supuesto adulto maduro que debería ser. Por el otro lado, sentía hasta lástima por él, pobre alma condenada al trabajo duro en vez de disfrutar de una vida a costa de sus padres. -Oye, oye, ¿No estás siendo un poco dramático? No es que no prefiera estar en casa recostado, es sólo que debo hacerlo para tener las comodidades que quiero, el pachinko no se paga solo –Habló todavía con una sonrisa pendiendo en su boca, riéndose de los gestos infantiles que veía en un hombre que no debería andar muy lejos de su edad. No podía creer que de hecho sí hubiese un Osomatsu más flojo que él, si tan sólo Karamatsu supiera eso podría dejar de reclamarle su poca proactividad en la casa. Ah, es verdad…su familia. -No creo haber tenido las mismas oportunidades que tú –Dijo el de camiseta roja con simpleza y sin intención de increpar a nadie. Osomatsu tampoco lo interpretó de mala manera –Supongo… ¿Ustedes tienen distintas edades? –Inquirió inclinándose más hacia el frente para poder fijarse en el niño que permanecía ajeno a cualquier conversación adulta. El panda rojo se incomodó con la posición, mordiéndole la barbilla para que dejara de oprimirle su espacio -¡Ay, tú, pequeño bastardo! – -Sí, somos seis hermanos también. No estoy muy seguro si tenemos el mismo orden de los de este mundo, pero Ichimatsu es el cuarto y tiene cinco años –Dijo despeinando al aludido sin lograr que volteara a mirarlo, parecía realmente entusiasmado en jugar con el vestido de la monja que poca atención le ponía. -Es curioso, en mi universo ninguno de nosotros es hermano de nadie –Comentó el Kitsune palmando la cabeza del animalito que seguía en el regazo de Osomatsu, felicitándolo. -…sigo queriendo saber de qué circo te saliste –Dijo el de sudadera cuando el panda rojo le sonrió. ~ * ~* ~~ ~~ ~ * ~* ~~ El niño esta vez jaló con más fuerza el vestido de la monja, llamándole por fin la atención. Ésta le sonrió maternalmente, borrando por un instante su expresión indiferente la cual regresó al oír un carraspeo a su costado izquierdo. “Ah, mierda” Pensó Ichimatsu encorvado abrazándose las piernas contra el pecho, sintiendo claramente la mirada inquisitiva de la religiosa sobre él, también la del tipo con mala hostia. No quería llamarles la atención, sólo era que ya no soportaba ese picor inoportuno que le atacó la garganta. No tenía idea qué podía decir, esos desconocidos le hacían sentirse más incómodo de lo común a pesar de ser su propio yo en diferentes mundos. -¿Estás nervioso? –Preguntó la monja mirándolo con gesto apaciguado, haciendo temblar al de sudadera morada de forma involuntaria. Sí que lo estaba, maldición; pero no se lo diría así como así.Negó con la cabeza, sin pronunciar palabra, enterrándose aún más la nariz en sus rodillas. -Deberíamos…hablar más acerca de nosotros. Nos lo ha pedido nuestra divinidad –Dijo la hermana sin mirarlo directamente, como si también se sintiese incómoda con la situación a pesar de ser un mandato divino para su persona. A Ichimatsu le parecía extraña su voz. Era como la suya, ronca y sin gracia, monótona y aburrida; pero algo más suave y llegadora. Una duda surgió en su cabeza que tuvo miedo de aclarar. -¿Có-có…cómo te llamas? –Preguntó sin despegar los labios de su pantalón. Había titubeado más de lo que hubiese querido, creyó haberse sonrojado por el error tan simple de tartamudear en la primera frase que le dijo, así que se encorvó más aún. -Ichimatsu –Contestó la monja con simpleza. Ah, había sido una pregunta estúpida. Pero pensó que quizás podría tener un nombre un poco más… ¿Femenino que el suyo? -Todos tenemos el mismo nombre –Respondió el hombre de traje a su lado, obligándolo a estremecerse otra vez. Éste sí que tenía malas pintas, su propia forma de hablar y su aura le anunciaban que no tenía que meterse con él. -Ah… -Balbuceó Ichimatsu sin saber qué decir. El tipo parecía estar más concentrado en jugar con su encendedor sin prenderlo que en volver a ponerle la mirada encima. De cierta forma fue mucho más tranquilizador de esa manera. -¿Qué haces en este mundo, Ichimatsu-san? –Inquirió la monja regresándole un tema. ¿Que qué hacía en este mundo? Nada, por supuesto. Era una basura inútil que no servía para nada, hasta dudaba de si sus amigos gatos se darían cuenta si se moría en ese mismo instante. -N-nada en especial –Farfulló todavía sin despegar su propia coraza. -¿Qué hay del Ichimatsu-san de blanco? –Preguntó decidiéndose en no ahondar más con el de sudadera, sacándole un suspiro de relajo que se notó demasiado para los demás. -No es de tu incumbencia, pero…ya que estamos con esas: Io mato gente –Respondió inclinándose tan sólo un poco cerca del Ichimatsu a su derecha. Ichimatsu alcanzó a ahogar un chillido desde el fondo de su alma. Tenía que estar bromeando. La risita maliciosa que escuchó después de su salto le hizo darse cuenta que de hecho sí lo había dicho de esa forma con clara intención de intimidarlo. -Bueno, no es como si lo hiciera siempre. Después de todo, tengo gente que se encarga de eso –Dijo acomodándose mejor para flexionar una de sus piernas. -Entonces perteneces a una mafia –Habló la monja por auto-confirmación. -Así es –Contestó el Ichimatsu de traje. -¿Un Ichimatsu…mafioso? –Murmuró el Ichimatsu de sudadera de forma inconsciente, dándose cuenta que lo había dicho en voz alta demasiado tarde. -Es Don Ichimatsu para ti –Contestó el jefe de mafia mirándolo con ojos penetrantes. Ah, sí, definitivamente no tenía que meterse con él. Tampoco respirar cerca de él, muchísimo menos hablarle o dirigirle la mirada. Así que sólo se contrajo asintiendo con la cabeza, sintiendo una diminuta mano posarse contra la suya. -¿Oniichan tiene medo? –Preguntó el infante casi sobre el regazo de la monja, mirándolo desde su posición con una sonrisa inocente en su rostro. Ah, por qué diablos no podía morir ahí mismo. ~ * ~* ~~ ~~ ~ * ~* ~~ Jyushimatsu miró por el rabillo del ojo a su hermano mayor, parecía estar charlando con sus alternos demasiado concentrado en oírlos como para siquiera mirarles. Se volteó feliz de que no hubiese problema, regresando a la efusiva conversación que tenía con sus otros yo. -¡Con mis hermanas todo es muy divertido! Salimos de aquí hacia allá, hablamos con Totoru-kun y las demás chicas, a pesar que todavía no tenemos trabajo… ¡Bueno, ya vendrá! ¡Eso es lo que dice Chorori-neesan! –Canturreó la chica de sudadera amarilla, quien había estado parloteando hace un buen rato con los demás Jyushimatsus que tampoco detenían la lengua. - ¡Ah, Jyushiri-chan! ¿Ustedes también son Betas? – Inquirió el más extraño de todos, no dejaba de olfatearlos insistentemente como si se estuviera tratando de acostumbrar a sus aromas. -¿Eh? ¿Qué es eso? –Preguntó de vuelta la chica ladeando su cabeza y haciendo bailotear sus coletas. -La gran parte de los universos no tienen esas categorías de razas, Jyushimatsu-san. En este y en casi todos, se considerarían como Betas para ti –Explicó el ángel sonriéndoles y sonsacándoles un sonoro gesto de asombro, como si su idiotez colectiva fuese sólo capaz de captar la mitad de lo que había dicho. Los seres celestiales sí que podían poseer muchos conocimientos, no importaba si se trataba de una mente tan simple como la de Jyushimatsu. -¡Haha, son todos muy interesantes! –Exclamó el quinto hermano intercalando miradas, recibiendo las mismas sonrisas radiantes como si se tratara de un montón de espejismos.Era fantástico, se sentía como en una casa de espejos. -Si yo soy una Beta, entonces ¿Tú que eres? –Preguntó Jyushiri al Jyushimatsu que había abandonado su tarea de olisquearlos. -¡Yo soy un Alfa! –Dijo con tono seguro y contento –Nosotros tenemos que cuidar de los Omegas ¿No es así, Karamatsu-niisan? –Preguntó a su costado, recibiendo un tímido asentimiento del aludido para regresar su atención a las demás personas de azul. -¿Un qué? –Preguntaron a coro los restantes de sudadera amarilla. -¡¿EH?! ¡¿No saben lo que es?! –Inquirió estupefacto, olvidando por completo la explicación anterior del ángel. -¡Jyushiri-chan! ¡¿Todos son chicas en tu mundo?! –Preguntó Jyushimatsu demasiado entusiasmado en saciar su curiosidad inmediata como para ahondar más en un solo tema. -¿Ah, todas? –No entendía muy bien a qué se refería, pero probablemente las personas que ella conocía en su barrio tenían diferente sexo en este -¿Cómo Chibimi-chan o Iyayo-san? –Tanteó. -Ah, sí. Algo así –Contestó Jyushimatsu dilatando las pupilas con los ánimos decaídos. No tenía muy buenos recuerdos con esos nombres. -¡¿En el tuyo son todos ángeles?! –Preguntó esta vez la chica abalanzándose hacia el ángel y arrollando algo del cuerpo del quinto hermano. -¡No, sólo estoy yo y Megami-sama! –Respondió agitando las alas un poco –Los demás forman parte del mundo de los humanos y del inframundo, Todomatsu no forma parte de ninguno, él se encarga de guiar a las almas perdidas hacia donde realmente tienen que ir –Dijo balanceando los pies en el suelo. -¡Sabes mucho, Tenshi-sama! –Alagó Jyushimatsu pensando que él mismo no podría lidiar con toda esa información. -¡Megami-sama me transmite todos sus conocimientos! ¡Él lo sabe todo acerca de los universos! –Y así era, el ángel sabía que todo lo que conocía se debían a las enseñanzas del Dios. -¿Es cierto que hay que luchar con un demonio? –Inquirió esta vez el Jyushimatsu Alfa, dándose cuenta que, de hecho, en su grupo eran casi todos humanos. -¡Sí, pero no tienen por qué preocuparse! Sólo con su energía podremos encargarnos nosotros, pero también necesitamos la fuerza natural de tu raza, eso nos ayudará a proteger mejor a todos los humanos corrientes –Contestó sin intenciones reales de hacer sentir menor al resto por los estatus más altos que podían tener. -¡Me esforzaré! ¡Claro que los ayudaré! –Aseguró demasiado animado al acabar de recibir semejante petición en un mundo que no era el de él, rodeado de seres extraños. No obstante tampoco tenía razones para negarse, él podía proteger a su hermano y a todas esas personas que venían siendo la esencia del resto de su familia. Jyushimatsu los miró a intervalos con evidente entusiasmo. No entendía muy bien, pero sí sabía que las cosas se pondrían emocionantes. ~ * ~* ~~ ~~ ~ * ~* ~~ Karamatsu miró por el rabillo del ojo a sus otros yo, ocultando su extraña falta de tema detrás de sus lentes oscuros y su pose dramática. -Hhm –Soltó con aires de grandeza y haciéndose el coqueto con nadie en especial. Acababa de ocurrírsele un tema de introducción –Así que ha sido el destiny el que nos ha traído aquí, cuatro hombres reunidos para un solo propósito –Comenzó acentuando sus frases disque poéticas con una interesante posición de mano sobre su barbilla. -Hhm –Soltó el padre en una reacción de auto-reflejo, acostumbrado a hacerlo él también –God nos brindará la oportunidad de conocernos a nosotros mismos –Señaló encorvando una de sus cejas y apretando el relicario que caía sobre su pecho con un extraño brillo en los ojos. A Karamatsu pareció gustarle la respuesta del párroco, puesto que sonrió más aún. -¿Qué cruel futuro nos espera por delante? Incluso en la terrible adversidad, yo…- -¿Es necesario todo eso? –Inquirió el Karamatsu de camisa azul mientras le sacaba brillo a su revólver con un pañuelo. -¿Hhhhm? –Inquirió Karamatsu a pesar de ser interrumpido junto con el padre, alargando el sonido con los labios juntos. El hombre del arma los miró con ceja alzada. -Eso, todas esas parafernalias. Podemos ir al grano –Dijo en clara molestia. -Non, non, non –Contestó el religioso –Esto es de suma importancia para establecer una conexión entre nosotros, conocer las profundidades del alma ajena, entender al otro. Puede parecer simple, pero es vital comprender a quién le vamos a confiar la vida a pesar de poseer el mismo hilo del destino –Explicó moviendo el dedo índice para hacer énfasis en su relato, recibiendo la misma mirada de abstinencia. -¡Ah, es usted una persona muy culta, Padre! –Dijo Karamatsu bajándose los lentes con dramatismo –Y sus poderes de antes me han dejado estupefacto –El párroco pareció satisfecho con la alabanza, cerrando los ojos con el rostro en posición al techo. -Estos poderes me han sido entregados por el altísimo desde mi nacimiento. De donde vengo los sacerdotes exorcistas son de suma importancia en los pueblos, mi deber es de proteger a la gente –Habló sujetándose el relicario otra vez. -…yo tengo un negocio con mis hermanos –Dijo el Karamatsu de camisa reticente a decir algo más. El segundo hermano se preguntó qué clase de trabajo era ese si tenía que cargar un arma con él. Un sudor frío le cubrió la nuca por un instante al darse cuenta que de hecho era real, no una ilusión como había querido pensar. De todas formas, no podía mostrarse nervioso ante ese hombre tan genial. -¿Eh? ¿Qué me dices de ti? –Inquirió percatándose que faltaba alguien por hablar, pero que los había estado mirando desde hace un buen rato. -Ah…yo, eh…soy un Omega, así que no hago mucho…-Respondió el aludido estrujándose la sudadera azul. Se notaba a leguas que era una persona mucho más nerviosa que los demás Karamatsu’s, de hecho les producía una sensación extraña al ver que era mucho más menudo que ellos. -¿Un qué? –Dijeron a coro en respuesta al Omega. -Eh…pues es… -Se quedó a medio camino, no sabía cómo explicar lo que era sin sentirse extrañamente avergonzado. -Heh –Soltó Karamatsu cerrando los ojos con expresión confiada –Puedes confiar en nosotros, no tienes por qué afligirte –Apaciguó frotándose la barbilla por enésima vez, decidiéndose a intercalar miradas entre los demás. Definitivamente se había encontrado con personas tan fascinantes como él. ~ * ~* ~~ ~~ ~ * ~* ~~ Todomatsu giñó su ojo derecho una vez más hacia la hermosa chica de cabellos rosas. -Oh, ¿Enserio? Eso suena fantástico, ¿Qué más te gusta hacer? –Preguntó coqueteando más de cerca recibiendo como respuesta una risilla suave satisfecha de tanta atención. -No, ¿Enserio estás ligando contigo mismo? –Inquirió Yuki-onna a su otro lado, apretando al conejito en su regazo para enfriarlo aún más. -¡No estoy ligando! –Respondió Todomatsu con ofensa –Nos dijeron que nos conociéramos entre nosotros, bueno, eso estoy haciendo –Dijo mirando al Yokai. -¡Ni siquiera me has hablado! –Debatió entrecerrando los ojos con mirada acusatoria. -Eres un hombre, así que no importa –Contestó con expresión divertida, recibiendo al animalito que saltó a sus brazos más que harto de soportar el frío a pesar de su pelaje -¡¿Y tú qué eres?! –Le gritó apenas le vio los enormes ojos expectantes. -¡¿Eso tiene que ver entonces?! –Chilló el Yokai reclamándole con las manos. -No es como si estuviera interesada en ninis vírgenes como tú, de todas formas. Sobre todo si en cierto modo vienen siendo yo misma –Contestó la chica mirándose las uñas ausente de sus agudas palabras. -¡¿Eh, Todo-chan?! –Exclamó Todomatsu desenfocándose por el repentino balde de agua fría. -No es personal, tee-hee –Dijo la peli rosada sacando la lengua y picándose su propia mejilla con el dedo. -Ahh… ¿No se supone que las Magical girls son adorables y bienintencionadas? –Suspiró pesadamente el menor de los sextillizos. -Nuestro poder viene de la codicia ajena, así que no esperes mucho. ¡Qué descortés, por supuesto que soy la más adorable de todas! Hum, y encima que tengo de proteger a un debilucho como tú –Espetó peinándose el cabello hacia atrás y cruzándose de brazos como chiquilla mimada. -Bueno… ¿Y tú qué haces? –Inquirió esta vez al Yokai que le hizo un desaire ofendido. -Ah, ¿Ahora te interesa saber de mí? Soy un ser de las nieves, no hay mucho que decir al respecto –Dijo escondiéndose ambas manos entre el kimono. -¡¿AH, es enserio?! ¡¿Entonces para qué querías que te preguntara?! –Reclamó el de rosa exasperándose. -Tengo mi orgullo –Contestó haciéndole menosprecio. -¡¿Y tú qué demonios eres?! –Inquirió al animal felpudo en su regazo, ya fuera de sus casillas. -¡No le hables así a Usagi-chan! –Demandó la chica mágica arrebatándoselo de las piernas para estrujarlo contra su pecho. El conejo no parecía molestarse en lo absoluto. -Proviene de un universo antropomórfico, el mismo de donde salió aquel panda rojo de allá –Señaló Yuki-onna con desinterés, apoyándose el rostro en una de sus manos –El resto de tus hermanos también son animales, y viven felizmente en un bosque visitados por humanos amigables, lindo ¿No? –Explicó el Yokai mirando el rostro inocente del conejo rosa. -¿Y tú no estás demasiado frío? –Comentó Todomatsu dándose calor en los brazos con las manos. El aire helado que despedía el ser de las nieves comenzaba a darle escalofríos. -¡Perfecto! ¿Quieres que me caliente hasta morir? Ah, no puedo hacerlo, soy inmortal. Déjame darte una noticia: No me importa. Ponte una bufanda o algo –Habló cansado de tanta habladuría sin sentido. -…es mi culpa por intentar congeniar conmigo mismo –Murmuró Todomatsu desmotivado del tema. No podía ser posible, hablar con sus alternos era casi una guerra interna. Eran demasiado iguales como para caer en los juegos del otro. Todo esto iba a ser más complicado de lo que pensaba. ~ * ~* ~~ ~~ ~ * ~* ~~ -¿Y ustedes quiénes son? –Inquirió Choromatsu a los rostros idénticos en sus costados. No podía negar que ambos tenían pintas bastante extrañas. Se había sentado sin querer entre ellos y sus caras de póker comenzaban a incomodarlo. -Jade –El de cabello verde fue el primero en contestar con voz seca, volteándose a mirarlo sólo un poco. -Ah…es un tanto extraño –Contestó Choromatsu. No era un poco ¡Era totalmente raro! -Es un nombre artístico –Respondió de vuelta Jade. ¡Tenía que estar jodiendo! –Ehem, estoy en una banda, así que es normal que nos pongan ese tipo de motes –Dijo tosiendo con disimulo. De alguna manera hasta a él mismo le parecía vergonzoso decírselo a alguien que no tenía idea de su mundo. -… ¿De quién rayos fue la idea? –Fue lo primero que atravesó la mente del tercer hijo. -De Osomatsu –Ahora todo tenía sentido. Choromatsu no pudo evitar voltear a mirar al aludido aunque ni siquiera se estuviera refiriendo específicamente a ese Osomatsu. -Me lo tendría que haber imaginado –Masculló mosqueado a pesar de que no le inmiscuía directamente. Supuso que la idiotez unilateral de su hermano mayor traspasaba universos tridimensionales –Eh ¿Qué hay de ti? –Preguntó esta vez a la persona que estaba en su otro lado. Éste sí que estaba salido de algún circo o de un teatro mal montado. Tenía un gran sombrero verde con una llave colgando desde la punta lateral, vestía también unos ropajes extraños que no pudo especificar con la mirada; con una cerradura en el centro del pecho semi-oculta por la capa que le escondía hasta medio brazo. -Soy el guardián de la biblioteca mágica: Choromatsu –Contestó apuntando al libro-maleta que se había apoyado contra el regazo. Tenía una expresión no muy animada con la conversación. -¡¿Un guardián?! –Exclamó Choromatsu alzando las cejas. No había entendido muy bien el resto de conceptos, o más bien había querido obviarlos por lo disparatados que seguían sonando en su simple mundo humano. Pero vaya que lucía fuerte ese sujeto, tácticamente hablando. El guardián se acomodó la enorme llave dorada que todavía sujetaba con la mano cerca del muslo, inclinada hacia arriba y adelante. El movimiento asustó al Todomatsu Yuki-onna que estaba a su lado no muy lejos. -Sí, es común que hayan seres interesados en los grandes poderes que puede proporcionar un libro de magia, así que mi deber es juzgar si son merecedores o no de conocerlo –Explicó volteando a mirar por fin a todos esos rostros de boca inclinada. -… ¿Y no deberías estar haciendo eso entonces, en vez de estar aquí? –Claro, se suponía que se la tenía que jugar de responsable en más de algún universo, ¿No es verdad? Después de todo, sentía que estaba en su esencia. -Bueno…no es como si lo hiciera siempre. Tengo subordinados que se encargan de todo eso –Dijo rascándose el rostro con un dedo. -¡No haces nada, entonces! –Chilló el tercer hermano frunciendo las cejas. -¡¿Qué?! ¡Eso no es verdad, sin mí ahí las cosas serían muy diferentes! –Debatió alzando la voz. Los dos Choromatsus que permanecían sentados lo observaron en silencio un momento, hasta que el de sudadera verde decidió hablar -… ¿No es eso lo que te estaba tratando de decir? - -No, bueno, eh…creo que no hay problema si me ausento un poco – Megami soltó una risita mientras descendía flexionando un poco las piernas, ya que había vuelto a flotar sin notarlo. -Lo siento, espero que todo esto termine rápido para que puedan regresar a su vida normal sin problemas –Dijo sonriéndoles con mueca extraña. -No, espera ¿Es normal que un Dios se disculpe de esa forma? Es un poco…extraño. Todo esto es extraño –Habló otra vez Choromatsu mirándolo con expresión inquisitiva. -Supongo que está en nuestra naturaleza, me refiero…somos casi la misma persona, debemos ser todos iguales –Dijo Jade con neutralidad, acomodándose un mechón verde que comenzaba a hacerle cosquillas. -No es así –Interrumpió el Dios cerrando los ojos –De hecho, cada universo tiene su particularidad; a pesar de provenir directamente desde éste – Juntó ambas manos frente a él a la altura de su abdomen, abriendo las palmas en forma circular como si estuviese sosteniendo una esfera imaginaria, una que tomó forma poco a poco iluminando el centro y expandiéndose a medida que extendía las manos hacia los costados. La luz blanca inundó la habitación llamando la atención de todos los presentes, quienes se acercaron curiosos guiados por las difusas imágenes que transmitía el globo luminoso. -¡¿Eh, qué es eso?! –Fue Choromatsu el primero en preguntar por estar tan próximo a lo que desconocía. Había gente proyectándose a través de lo que él diría era un portal hacia algún lugar. Como esas canicas fantasiosas que utilizaban los adivinos en las películas y los charlatanes, sólo que en este caso era totalmente real. De hecho, ni siquiera podía asegurar que se trataba de algo tangible. -Ooohhh… ¡¿Ese soy yo de nuevo?! –Exclamó Osomatsu con demasiada emoción en la voz. -Sí. En este universo también existen los Yokai, está vinculado con el que conocemos ahora, pero es distinto. Aquí son seres diferentes por completo –Explicó Megami sin dejar de mirar el reflejo a lo que parecía una extensa fracción montañosa donde caminaba un ser envestido en adornos rojos. La imagen se desvió a lo que parecía ser un Kitsune de nueve colas claras, reposando en los altares de un templo en ropajes púrpuras y colores crema. -Éste también se relaciona con uno que tenemos aquí en estos momentos –Dijo mientras la luz cubría sus manos una vez más para cambiar lo que mostraba. Esta vez lo que aparecía en la visión era un Todomatsu vestido de manera común y corriente, sosteniendo lo que parecía ser un bebé que no dejaba de llorar, a pesar de que un muy enfrascado Jyushimatsu movía un cascabel frente a él para calmarlo. -¿Eh? Ese bebé… -Murmuró Todomatsu asomándose más aún como si todavía no pudiese unir muy bien los cabos a lo que veía. -Es rojo –Finalizó Choromatsu parpadeando varias veces. -¡¿Eeeehh?! –Chillaron los Osomatsu de camiseta y sudadera al mismo tiempo. -Así es. Ustedes tienen un universo donde sus edades cambian a pesar de mantener el mismo orden de nacimiento. En este caso, todo es al revés, siendo uno de los derivados de ese primer universo –Explicó otra vez Megami mostrando a un muy pequeño Karamatsu luchando con un no muy grande Choromatsu, siendo separados por un Ichimatsu casi adolecente. -…Increíble –Soltó el Osomatsu de camiseta tocando inconscientemente la cabeza de su hermano menor al verlo proyectado en lo que podría ser su propio futuro. -¿E-eso significa que también hay un derivado de mi mundo? –Inquirió con voz nerviosa el Karamatsu Omega -¿Hay una versión Alfa de mí? – El dios asintió con sonrisa agradable, dejando que la imagen se iluminara para volver a pasar a otra. La visión de un Karamatsu agitado apareció frente a ellos, peleando de forma brusca con quien parecía ser un muy molesto Todomatsu, siendo intercedidos por un Choromatsu que no llegó precisamente a reparar la situación.En el suelo se hallaban dos personas que permanecían a la defensiva, un Ichimatsu asustado y un Osomatsu tan nervioso que no dejaba de temblar. Por el Shoji entraba un Jyushimatsu que no pretendía detener la pelea, sino más bien sacar de ahí a los cuerpos que reposaban sobre un charco que ya había manchado el Tatami. -¿Qué están haciendo? –Preguntó el Choromatsu guardián arqueando una ceja. -¿Por qué están peleando? –Inquirió esta vez la pelirosada. -Pareciera que están reclamando su presa –Habló esta vez el Kitsune asomándose un poco más para ver mejor. -Suena como si fueran animales –Dijo Yuki-onna –Bueno, tú si sabes de estas cosas ¿No, zorrito? –Tanteó burlón al otro yokai que le entrecerró los ojos con mirada acusadora. -Cállate –Espetó. -…están en celo –Habló el Jyushimatsu Alfa provocando que todos lo voltearan a mirar. Tenía los ojos muy abiertos. -¿En qué? –Preguntó esta vez Jade más que confundido. -En este universo la raza humana se subdivide en tres categorías; una de ellas son los Omegas, personas que pueden entrar en celo tal como lo haría un animal, siendo propensos a generar conflicto entre los Alfas que tengan cerca, los que son capaces de concebir con ellos –Explicó de nueva cuenta el Dios mirando esta vez a los presentes. Los seis hermanos tragaron saliva incómodos con la situación. -¡No, no, no, espera! ¡¿Me estás diciendo que ellos se están peleando para – -Existen muchos que derivan con este mundo, cada universo tiene un derivado que va ligado con él a pesar de no ser igual –Comentó Megami interrumpiendo a un Osomatsu que comenzaba a alterarse ante la anticipación horrible que sonaba para sus oídos –Hay tantos universos que jamás podríamos terminar de conocerlos. De hecho, en estos momentos se están creando muchos más, su nacimiento no tiene fin – El Karamatsu Omega parpadeó estupefacto, admirado de que existiera alguien como él que pudiese ser tan fuerte como le gustaría. -¿Tú también tienes otra versión? –Preguntó Jyushimatsu con voz curiosa, levantando un brazo como si estuviese pidiendo la palabra a pesar de que ya había hablado. -Sí, también la tenemos –Respondió la deidad regresando su atención a sus manos, iluminando la imagen de nuevo para cambiarla. Ante él apareció un ser con las mismas ropas que Megami, sólo que las hojas alrededor de sus manos eran de un tono rojizo como las de un alerce rojo en otoño. Parecía juguetear con un demonio de traje celeste y cuernos verdes que no tenía claras intenciones de molestarlo, más bien la situación era al revés. Le chapoteaba el agua de un estanque en el cual tenía medio cuerpo sumergido mientras el otro refunfuñaba algo que no se le entendía al sólo poder verlo. -Supongo que las malas costumbres no cambian en esa basura –Masculló Choromatsu entrecerrando los ojos. -¡Oye! ¡¿Estás hablando de mí, Shikomatsu?! –Le chilló Osomatsu desde el otro lado. -¡Sí, a ti, estúpido mayor! ¡¿A quién le dices Shikomatsu?! –Devolvió mosqueado otra vez. -Si hay alguien tan fuerte como tú, ¿Por qué no le pediste ayuda también? –Preguntó Todomatsu desde el suelo. -Así como hay seres con buenas intenciones, también los hay con malas. Si le pido ayuda al Osomatsu Megami de ese universo el Choromatsu demonio también se inmiscuirá al problema. Si bien no eligiera estar del lado de este demonio, lo más seguro es que tomaría cartas en el asunto bajo sus propios intereses. Incrementar el poder magnético que puede soportar este mundo podría traer graves consecuencias al resto en vez de ser un beneficio, es por eso que invoqué a un reducido número de personas y él a ciertos seres también –Explicó Megami cambiando las imágenes una y otra vez, demostrando cuántos lugares podía ver con su clarividencia. -¿De cuántos estamos hablando exactamente? –Inquirió el Don de traje blanco. Megami levantó la mirada hacia él. -Son seis personas, dos de tres lugares distintos. Osomatsu y Todomatsu pertenecen al mío, mientras que Choromatsu e Ichimatsu provienen del de ellos –Dijo apuntando a los yokai presentes. -Ah, sí –Comenzó el Kitsune guardándose las manos entre las mangas –Ichimatsu es un Nekomata callejero que suele merodear los bosques alrededor de los templos, no suele hacer mucho ruido –Habló mirando el techo como si con eso pudiese recordar mejor su apariencia. -No veo mucho a Choromatsu, pero se trata de un Dodomeki que baja de vez en cuando al pueblo y hace que la gente se pierda durante el invierno después de embaucarlos –Dijo Yuki-onna pensando con detenimiento –No estoy seguro si él hace todo eso, sólo he oído rumores. Yo soy quien termina solucionando todos los problemas que él trae – Jyushiri-chan contó en voz alta tocándose los dedos uno por uno. -Ah, faltan dos. ¿No es verdad? –Tanteó como si estuviese equivocada. El dios suspiró con resignación. -Aquí es donde las cosas se complican un poco –Dijo provocando que todos volvieran a concentrarse en él –Los sextillizos originales de este mundo, además de tener un sinfín de universos diferentes, tienen uno que está ligado a ellos directamente; cuyo poder energético es muy similar – Al tercer y quinto hermano se les iluminó el camino un poco; pensaron saber hacia dónde iba todo eso al haberlos visto por un momento. -Hay una versión contraria a ustedes: Su anti-universo –Dijo mirando uno a uno a cada hermano que lo observó atentamente –Karamatsu y Jyushimatsu son humanos que pertenecen a éste y decidieron apoyar al demonio que los convocó –La imagen se iluminó otra vez para cambiar a lo que parecía ser un barrio común y corriente. El Matsuno mayor soltó una risilla malvada que no pudo controlar. -¿Estás diciendo que hay un Choromatsu que no se pajea tanto como éste? –Soltó en medio de una risotada. -¡Oye, bastardo! –Le siguió el aludido. -No, no, no. Eso debe ser una excepción a la regla, está en su ADN –Se burló Todomatsu con tono malicioso. -¿Te estás refiriendo así también a mí, niño? –Inquirió irritado el Choromatsu guardián, sosteniendo molesto el libro que aludió a caerse de sus manos cuando intentó incorporarse. -Oye, aleja eso de nosotros –Defendió el yokai que estaba justo al lado de él, colocándose a la defensiva al ver la enorme llave moverse. -¡Cálmense! Los humanos suelen bromear así, no pretenden molestarlos a ustedes también –Persuadió el ángel que se acercó lo más posible a ellos, tratando de amenguar la tensión que había nacido con tan sólo un par de comentarios. -Heh, la viveza de los hermanos es parte de nuestra humanidad –Habló el párroco llevándose una mano a la cara mientras sonreía con altanería. -Tranquilos, todo está- Oscuro.¿Eh? ¿Qué había pasado? La luz se desvaneció tan rápido que una completa oscuridad inundó a cada uno de los sextillizos, dejándolos con una sensación de vacío al no ver nada a su alrededor. No podían ver ni escuchar a nadie más. * 光忘却 [Hikari bōkyaku] -> “Luz del olvido” Kusomatsu -> Mierda-matsu. Shikomatsu -> Paja-matsu. Coglione -> Estúpido, idiota. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- * A Ichimatsu le costó un momento acostumbrarse a la penumbra que sin previo aviso lo invadió, sintiéndose fuera de lugar cuando percibió la luz de la luna entrar tímidamente por la ventana. Era ilusorio, aún faltaban un par de horas para que la noche cayese con esa oscuridad tan intensa. De hecho, hace unos momentos, todavía disfrutaban de la luz día antes de que el ocaso comenzara a tornar las cosas de colores anaranjados. Todo sucedió en un parpadeo. Miró asustado la habitación ensombrecida, buscando a todo el tropel de gente que había estado acompañándolo recién, sin encontrar a una sola persona. -… ¿Chicos? –Soltó con voz ronca, como si con eso pudiese ubicarlos en un cuarto definitivamente vacío. -No están aquí – O tal vez no tanto. Se guio por la voz aburrida que provenía desde el otro lado, volteando a mirar hacia la ventana abierta que dejaba entrar la luz. Ahí, hincado con las piernas flexionadas, se encontraba una persona que no pudo apreciar bien por efecto del reflejo. La persona se acomodó mejor en el borde, balanceándose con experticia para no caerse, sentándose por fin como alguien normal y enroscando la cola negra que dejó al descubierto. Ichimatsu reconoció ese rostro apenas se acostumbró a la poca luz que tenía, dándose cuenta que era él mismo. No, estaba equivocado. Ese no era él. Ese era el Nekomata. El yokai se bajó de la ventana con lentitud, haciendo sonar sus getas de madera apenas tocó el suelo. Ichimatsu hizo un ademán para retroceder por inercia. -¿Por qué te asustas? –Inquirió el invasor moviendo las orejas mientras se acercaba con pereza –No voy a hacerte daño, no podría aunque lo quisiera –Dijo deteniéndose a una cierta distancia. -¿Por qué estás aquí? –Preguntó sorprendiéndose a sí mismo de controlarse y no tartamudear. -No lo sé muy bien –Contestó restregándose el rostro un poco, como un gato que venía recién despertándose –Es lo que me han encargado, tengo que hablar contigo antes de arrebatarte el alma después – El cuarto hermano tragó saliva sonoramente. -¿Dó-dónde están los demás? –Ah, esta vez sí había titubeado sin poderlo evitar. -Aquí mismo. Este no es tu cuerpo, sólo estoy jugando con tu mente –Reveló mirándolo desde arriba con aburrimiento. -¿Qué quieres con todo esto? – -¿Es un interrogatorio? –El Nekomata decidió sonreírle un instante antes de volver a acomodar neutralidad en su rostro –Supongo que sólo quiero distraerme un poco. No tengo mayores razones –Dijo moviendo las colas de un lado a otro, rozándose la yukata en cada vaivén. -… ¿No es su intención acabar con todo esto? –Inquirió suspicaz. El yokai le volvió a sonreír con ojos relajados. -Puede ser – ~ * ~* ~~ ~~ ~ * ~* ~~ -¿Chi-chi-chicos? –Preguntó Todomatsu a la oscuridad. Qué jodido miedo. Era como en las películas de terror. Le bastó un parpadeo para que la noche se cerniera sobre él y que la luna fuese lo único que le diera contraste al cuarto. -Sólo estoy yo – -Hiiiiiiiiiiii –Soltó con el chillido más acobardado que le salió. No era secreto de nadie que Todomatsu a sus veintitantos años de edad todavía le tuviese pavor a la oscuridad. Por favor, todavía tenía que levantar a Choromatsu para que lo acompañase al baño. Una risilla malintencionada salió entre uno de los rincones de la habitación, denotando la ubicación de un pomposo traje rosa que se acercó poco a poco. -Qué fácil de asustar eres, no puedo creer que todos provengamos de ti –Habló el Todomatsu de vestimentas extrañas, encendiendo las velas apagadas sin siquiera tocar sus mechas. El rostro se le iluminó tan rápida y escalofriantemente cerca que provocó un segundo chillido desde el menor de los hermanos. -¡¿Quién diablos eres tú?! –Gritó Todomatsu golpeando el suelo con las manos -¡Maldición, qué cansado estoy de esto! – -¿De verdad es necesario que te lo diga? – -¡Lo es! –Exclamó exasperado. Más que asustado, ahora se encontraba cabreado por alguna razón. Le desesperaba el no entender nada de la situación y que seres estrafalarios siguieran apareciendo con su apariencia. El intruso suspiró con resignación, mirándolo desde arriba como si fuese la cosa más insignificante del universo. -Me encargo de guiar a las almas hacia donde pertenecen una vez mueren, ellas sólo llegan a mí para que las lleve –Respondió escudriñándose las uñas negras como si estuviese cansado de decir esa frase como una especie de mantra. -… ¿Cómo la muerte? –Inquirió Todomatsu en un escalofrío. -Mmm…no. No tengo nada que ver con esos tipos, ellos sólo me tiran la basura para que la ordene –Se adecentó el vestido con más molestia de la que llevaba recién, moviendo sin querer el frondoso sombrero en telas que traía sobre la cabeza. -Entonces… ¿Un segador? – -Tampoco, esas son otras cosas –Contestó incrédulo de su poco conocimiento en el más allá –Tengo miles de nombres…pero –Detuvo su lengua un instante para acercarse tentadoramente hacia el de sudadera rosa, aproximándose tanto hasta él que pudo oír el sonido de su corazón latiendo como un zumbido –El nombre que tú tienes es el que más me gusta - ~ * ~* ~~ ~~ ~ * ~* ~~ Karamatsu parpadeó varias veces, tocándose el puente de la nariz para comprobar que no tuviese los lentes de sol puestos. No los tenía, seguían guardados en su bolsillo delantero, así que esa vista nocturna de la habitación no era un simple juego de sus ojos. -Ah… ¿Burazzas? –Inquirió con voz ronca a la nada, aclarándose la garganta para proseguir -¿Burazzas? –Repitió subiendo el volumen, pero nadie contestó. No quería levantarse del suelo, era como una pesadilla de la cual había andarse con cuidado. O siendo sinceros, estaba entrando en pánico. -Eh ¿Chicos? –Preguntó esta vez sin forzar tanto sus cuerdas vocales -¡¿Chicos?! –Soltó en una voz suave, demasiado perturbado como para pensar en seguir fingiendo entereza. A pesar de lo que aparentaba Karamatsu podría ser el segundo que se asustaba más fácilmente con cosas que no podía ver, sobre todo si se trataba de una silueta a medio mostrarse en las penumbras. -¿Tienes miedo? –Indagó la sombra cerca de la ventana. El segundo hermano no hizo ningún ruido, sintió que más bien se le había salido el alma del cuerpo. La persona se acercó hasta él, colocándose en mejor sintonía con la luz de luna para mostrarle el rostro. Era él mismo, sólo que el pino dibujado en el pecho era de color negro. -¿Eres el Karamatsu del otro mundo? –Preguntó sintiendo que era lo más surreal que había dicho en su vida. -Sí –Contestó secamente –Dicen que tú eres el real, qué extraño –Dijo acercándose para hincarse frente a él –Si yo mismo me siento como si tú fueras una copia mal hecha – -¿Eh? – El intruso tenía una expresión muy extraña para Karamatsu, lucía cansando de todo, casi tocando el punto del hastío. No tenía otra emoción particular reflejada en él, sus pupilas estaban tan dilatadas que apenas podría ver brillo en ellas, viéndolas como un par de irises vacíos. -Te vas a morir –Advirtió la copia como si le estuviera recetando algo para comer –Tú y todo este mundo – -¿Po-por qué me estás diciendo eso? –Inquirió hiperventilando. No tenía sentido. Que una copia de él viniera y le dijese que se iba a morir así como así. -Porque todo esto no tiene sentido –Contestó sin aclararle mayores dudas. -Realmente… ¿Eres lo contrario a mí? –Preguntó Karamatsu incómodo con la intensa mirada ajena que no le despegaba un ojo de encima, pensando de todas formas que quizás era la mejor forma para aclararse todas las dudas que tenía. -No lo sé –Dijo frunciendo las cejas más aún -¿Quieres comprobarlo ahora mismo? – ~ * ~* ~~ ~~ ~ * ~* ~~ Jyushimatsu miró hacia todos lados sin poder borrar aún la sonrisa que se le había quedado pegada en la cara. -¿Eh, chicos? –Preguntó fijándose en la ventana entreabierta. Los vidrios se remecieron un poco cuando una brisa los golpeó por un segundo, quedándose quietas como si repentinamente el viento dejase de soplar. Le inquietó que el sonido pareciera oírse más como un golpe que como un sonido de la naturaleza. Volteó la cabeza hacia el otro lado para mirar por detrás de su espalda, encontrándose con un par de ojos que lo veían muy de cerca. -Hola –Saludó el extraño. El quinto hermano sudó frío cuando se lo topó de sorpresa, sin acordarse bien cómo se relajaba la boca. Soltó un grito retardado que le hizo ensanchar los ojos, acordándose cómo parpadear otra vez. -Ahahaha, me asusté –Dijo nerviosamente, tocándose el pecho con una de sus mangas largas. -¿Eres idiota? –Preguntó la persona frente a él. -¿Eh? ¿Por qué lo dices? –Devolvió fijándose bien en quién tenía frente a él. Lucía y vestía igual, salvo por el pino negro que le decoraba el centro de la sudadera amarilla. Pudo percatarse también que sus mangas no eran tan extensas como las de él, más bien eran normales como las de sus hermanos. -¿No vas a patearme, o a empujarme? –Inquirió esta vez el otro. -¿Ehhh? ¿Y por qué haría eso? –Indagó mirándolo como si ahora él fuera el extraño. -Eso sería lo que yo haría –Contestó con expresión seria. -¡Ah! –Soltó Jyushimatsu recuperando su sonrisa -¡Eres el Jyushimatsu que Megami-sama dijo! –Exclamó recordando cómo el ángel se refería a ese extraño Choromatsu -¡Un gusto conocerte, soy Jyushimatsu! –Se presentó sentándose sobre sus piernas antes de hacer una reverencia que más bien era casi un cabezazo contra el aire. -No, te equivocas, yo soy Jyushimatsu –Contestó el otro de sudadera amarilla estrechando los párpados. -¡Sí, ambos lo somos! –Dijo recordando a todos los demás que había conocido hoy. El Jyushimatsu intruso negó con la cabeza lentamente sin dejar de mirarlo con fastidio. -¿Eh? Pero yo también soy Jyushimatsu –Dijo el quinto hermano sintiendo la hostilidad contraria por una fracción de segundo. -Eso no será así por mucho tiempo –Sentenció. ~ * ~* ~~ ~~ ~ * ~* ~~ -¿Chi-chi-chi-chicos? –Tartamudeó Choromatsu en un pitido. Si bien solía tener bastante autocontrol de sí mismo por un tiempo, éste se había desvanecido apenas se dio cuenta que todo se había vuelto negro y solitario, y que para más remate era infinitamente probable de que se topara con otro sujeto raro salido de quién sabe dónde. Sí, estaba segurísimo de ello. Lo peor de todo fue que recordó lo que Yuki-onna les había dicho antes de cernirse en la oscuridad: la última parte de él que le faltaba conocer era un Dodomeki. Encontrarse con un Yokai de malas pintas en medio de un cuarto oscuro y vacío, donde no podía escuchar nada más que su aterrado corazón no era una situación que lo tranquilizara demasiado. El tercer hermano se arrastró por el suelo con intenciones de toparse con la pared y encender el interruptor de la luz. No, no pensó en levantarse de inmediato, tenía demasiado miedo como para hacerlo, así que se impulsó con las manos hacia el lado esperando encontrarse con su objetivo. Un ojo lo saludó de frente. -¡AAAAAHHH! –Chilló cayéndose de espaldas. Ahí estaba, un Choromatsu vendado por completo envestido en una yukata verde simple, mostrándole el dorso de la mano cuyo ojo en el medio se abría y se cerraba con mirada penetrante. -¡Do-do-do-Dodomeki! –Exclamó ante la obviedad. El yokai lo miró con rostro serio y aburrido, como si encontrarse con un humano asustado ya fuera bastante molestia para él. Se acomodó los lentes con la otra mano, descubriendo que sus vendajes estaban mal acomodados y se corrían de vez en cuando para mostrar los ojos cerrados que tenía por doquier. -Choromatsu, ¿No es así? –Inquirió arqueando una ceja. -Ah, sí –Titubeó ante la pregunta. Fuera de su aspecto, no sentía que fuera tan amenazador como pensaba. Bueno…seguía teniendo su cara, tal vez eso le relajaba de cierta forma. -No chilles tanto, nadie más te puede oír aquí excepto yo –Le dijo el yokai regresándole el malestar general. -¿Me-me vas a matar? –Inquirió sin pensarlo. Diablos, qué pregunta más tonta y obvia le había hecho, por supuesto que iba a hacerlo. Ya casi pensaba que le diría “Si, casi se me olvidaba, qué bueno que preguntaste”. -No, no por ahora –Contestó sin traerle paz del todo. O sea, de todas formas le estaba diciendo que lo haría en algún momento, lo cual era peor; esperar en incertidumbre. -Ah, qué alivio –Dijo tocándose el pecho con una mano. ¡No, claro que no lo era! No recordaba el momento en el cual sus neuronas habían dejado de consultarle el cuándo y qué hablar antes de hacerlo. El Dodomeki se inclinó hasta su altura sin dejar de observarlo en un ningún instante, estirando su mano hacia él tan rápido que pensó le atravesaría el pecho. Y lo hizo, de hecho. Un momento, ¡Un momento, lo había hecho! -¡AAAHHH! –Gritó Choromatsu mirando cómo un brazo lleno de ojos entreabiertos se enterraba en sus costillas como si fuese materia inanimada. ¡Él había dicho que no lo mataría todavía, maldición! Qué idiota era al confiar en seres sobrenaturales. Se quedó ahí respirando entrecortadamente, ahogándose con cada bocanada espantada que daba. Podía verlo mover la muñeca un par de veces, diría que hasta estaba abriendo y cerrando los dedos al hacerlo. No obstante, no encontró dolor en ninguno de sus movimientos. No dolía nada, de hecho, no podía sentir nada en su cuerpo. -¿Qué me- -No puedo hacerte daño en este lugar –Habló el Dodomeki sacándole la mano del pecho, sacudiéndosela como si se la hubiese ensuciado con algo invisible para él –Ni tú tampoco a mí, por muy increíble que suene – Ah, y encima lo subestimaba.…no es como si estuviese equivocado de todas formas. -¡No puedes ir por ahí abriéndole el pecho a la gente! –Reclamó tocándose el logo de la sudadera con ahínco, tratando de encontrar una abertura con la que no dio. -Esta zona neutral no puede durar para siempre, así que cállate y escúchame, basura –Ordenó el yokai cansado de escuchar gritos innecesarios. ~ * ~* ~~ ~~ ~ * ~* ~~ Osomatsu se sentó de golpe cruzándose de brazos y piernas, gruñéndole a la absoluta oscuridad. -¡Ey! –Gritó otra vez a la nada -¡Choromatsu! – No se refería a su hermano, si no al que usaba plantas como muñequeras. Si ya todo le parecía extraño a su alrededor entonces ése Choromatsu se podría coronar como el rey de los raros, cambiando atmósferas a donde quiera que fuese. -¡Oye, hada de pacotilla! ¡Aparece de una vez, Dios de mierda! –Vociferó más que harto de tener que lidiar con la soledad. Probablemente ese ser funcionaba igual que el Choromatsu real y reaccionaba chillándole ante sus insultos. Tal vez las drogas habían desaparecido de su sistema y ahora de verdad estaba sentado en medio de su habitación a mitad de la noche, como si se hubiese teletransportado de un lugar a otro durante la borrachera más potente de su vida. -Fu fu fu fun fun ~ -Oyó una risilla malintencionada sobre él. Nah, ahí estaban. Las drogas todavía seguían ahí. -Qué interesante eres, me gusta cómo hablas –Le dijo otro sujeto que se parecía a él, descendiendo del techo pies arriba, volteado sobre su eje –Podríamos llevarnos muy bien – -Ah…tú-tú eres –Farfulló cuando le divisó los largos colmillos que se asomaron de su maléfica sonrisa, encontrándose también con los cuernos rojizos tapados con los cabellos negros que caían por efecto de gravedad. -Sí, soy el que- -¡Tú eres el bastardo que empezó todo este circo! ¡Por tu culpa, cabrón, no pude ver el porno que quería rentar! –Chilló enfurecido al demonio que le abrió los ojos anonadado. -Ha… ¡Hahahaha! –Se carcajeó el ser de las tinieblas -¡No lo puedo creer, qué divertido eres! –Dijo girándose para quedar pies abajo, secándose las lágrimas que había soltado por la risa. -¡Oye, no es gracioso! ¡Vete de donde sea que hayas salido y llévate contigo a toda esa gente que llegó a mi casa! –Gritó frunciendo las cejas. Meterse con sus vicios era algo muy serio para él. -No, me temo que no. Eso arruinaría todo el avance que he hecho hasta ahora ¿Sabes? Eso no sería justo –Contradijo el demonio sin dejar de sonreírle con burla. -¡No me importa, no tienes idea de cuántas cosas he tenido que escuchar! Además, ese Choromatsu me está volviendo loco, no deja de hablar de idioteces que no entiendo – -Ah, no puedo creer que incluso a los dos nos parezca molesto –Sonrió aún más mirando cómo Osomatsu se pasaba las manos por la cara con exasperación –Pero puedo tenerte una solución a ese problema – -¿Enserio la tienes? –Inquirió mirándolo entre los dedos de sus manos. -Claro –Aseguró el demonio acercando su rostro mucho más al suyo –Sólo tenemos que matarlo –Murmuró. Osomatsu se quedó quieto en su sitio sin mover un músculo, de hecho ni siquiera parpadeó. ¿Matarlo? Bueno…había pasado por alto que estaba hablando con nada más y nada menos que un demonio capaz de saltar entre sus propios universos, no tendría por qué tomarlo tan a la ligera. -¿Y, qué dices? No te preocupes, yo lo haré por ti. Sólo tienes que quedarte sin hacer nada –Dijo tanteando a su presa. Sí, el mayor de los sextillizos lo notó, solía tratar a menudo con Todomatsu que era el rey de las tretas a su favor. Lo que no idealizó en ese entonces era el hecho de que casi siempre terminaba cediendo o convenciéndose de lo que le embaucaban a cambio de un pequeño chantaje. -No vas a lograr engañarme –Contestó frunciéndole las cejas –Tú quieres tener todo para ti, yo no te soy de ninguna utilidad – No era que se estuviera menospreciando, pero las cosas como son: un humano tan simple como él no podría serle útil a alguien tan poderoso como ese cachudo. Vamos, que ni comiéndose su virgen y cochina alma podría servirle. -Ah ¿Megami no te lo dijo? –Comenzó cruzándose de piernas en el aire –Ustedes tienen una carga energética tan grande que supera a cualquiera de cualquier universo, por lo que vendrían siendo el “Universo originario”. Tu floja, pajera y sucia alma es mucho más valiosa de lo que tú mismo crees – Osomatsu se miró la palma de su mano como si ahí pudiese encontrar los secretos de la galaxia. -Así que, en otras palabras, tú me quieres comer –Dijo después de cranearse un rato pensándolo. -Nah, qué asco, tengo mejores gustos –Le respondió dándole una mueca de disgusto. El de sudadera roja pensó en cuán idiota sonaba eso puesto que viéndolo de forma más simple, provenía de él. -¡¿Entonces qué cojones quieres?! –Inquirió saliendo de sus casillas ante tanto rodeo. -¿No es obvio? Si esto sigue así será un ciclo interminable. Hay un montón de universos naciendo de cada partícula energética que ustedes desprenden sin darse cuenta. Llegará un momento en que todo crezca como una maldita bola de nieve y se salga de control. ¿No te es aburrido estar encerrado en un solo lugar regido por seres que sólo siguen la corriente, siendo que tú eres el que maneja todo con tu pura existencia? Si te unes conmigo, podemos enviar esa basura a la mierda y quedarnos con todo, crear un solo lugar con este poder y controlarlo a nuestro antojo. Y para hacer eso, tú también necesitas mi ayuda –Ofreció abriéndole las manos, regalándole la respuesta ante todo. Si aceptaba la oferta del otro Osomatsu ¿Entonces podría comenzar un mundo tal y cómo a él le gustaría que fuese?Aún y si eso significaba borrarlos a todos. -¿Sabes? No estoy interesado, se oye como una enorme carga para mí y yo lo único que deseo es que todo siga igual que ahora, mejor aún si puedo seguir sacándoles dinero a mis padres hasta que me muera –Contestó sinceramente. El demonio se recogió las manos poco a poco ante la negativa sin borrar su expresión confianzuda. Cualquier ser humano hubiese aceptado ese ofrecimiento aún si tuviese miedo de eliminar a su propia familia, estaba hasta en la más mínima partícula de su mortalidad. Por sobre todas las cosas si incluso estaba arrojándole su magia negra para convencerlo. O al menos es lo que pensaba el demonio en esos instantes; tal vez el nini que tenía por delante era estratosféricamente más idiota de lo que creía. -De verdad quiero llevarte conmigo –Dijo moviendo su cola negra de un lado a otro –Pero de nada sirve si tú no te lo propones – -¿Ah? – -Tu poder no es tan maravilloso si no tienes una convicción clara de él –Habló apoyándose el mentón en una de sus palmas, entrecerrando los ojos –Megami también sabe eso, así que sus intenciones son que estés de su lado. Si ambos te queremos controlar, dime tú una cosa; ¿De quién crees tú que puedes sacar más provecho de eso? – Osomatsu parpadeó mirándolo con expresión neutra, como si estuviese pensando a mil por hora con su diminuto cerebro. ¿Sacar provecho de quienes pretenden manejarlo? Era algo que no se le había pasado por la mente hasta el momento que el demonio se lo dijo. Claro, si esas dos cosas flotantes querían algo de él entonces sólo tendría que aprovecharse el doble de ellos, ¿No? ¿Así funcionaba?Sacudió su cabeza exhausto de tanto analizar cosas que no podría llevar a cabo. Ese sujeto quería tenerlo tal y como él quería: confundido para darle una respuesta que sólo lo beneficiara a nadie más que a él.Y Osomatsu no estaba dispuesto a darle la razón, él sólo quería ir a sentarse a una cabina de pachinko como todos los días. -Digamos que te digo que no, ¿Qué harías tú entonces? –Inquirió rascándose la cara. -Ah, eso es muy fácil –Dijo frotándose las manos con los ojos cerrados, para luego abrirlos mostrando dos esferas rojas resplandecientes que hicieron incomodar a Osomatsu –Tendría que utilizar la fuerza, entonces – …tal vez no tendría por qué haberle preguntado nada.Antes de que el mayor de los sextillizos tuviese tiempo para retractarse un fuerte remezón sacudió toda la habitación con un movimiento seco, haciendo crujir las paredes. -Mhm…parece que nos quedamos sin tiempo –Dijo el demonio apagando el color de sus ojos. ~ * ~* ~~ ~~ ~ * ~* ~~ El Nekomata movió las orejas apenas dejó de sentir ruido en las paredes. -¡¿Q-qué?! –Escupió Ichimatsu sosteniéndose del suelo. -Se ha acabado el tiempo –Murmuró agachándose frente a él con las pupilas gatunas dilatadas -¿Sabes? Yo no sólo venía a charlar un poco contigo –Dijo levantando una de sus manos hacia él, como si quisiese acariciarle la cabeza. El cuarto hijo sintió una fuerza indescriptible reteniéndole cada músculo del cuerpo, se sintió incapaz incluso de parpadear. -Esto terminará más pronto de lo que tú crees – Escuchó antes de ver una palma atravesarle el rostro. ~ * ~* ~~ ~~ ~ * ~* ~~ -¡Qué poco tiempo! –Reclamó el Todomatsu fantasma apenas el temblor cesó. O al menos así era como le había puesto el propio Todomatsu como un mote diferenciador. -¿Tiempo? –Replicó el de rosa todavía encogido sobre sí mismo. -No pudimos hablar bien, lo siento. Bueno…no es como si los muertos fuesen a recordar mucho –Dijo encogiéndose de hombros, inclinándose aún más sobre el sexto hermano. -Hiiiiiiiiiiiii –Chilló Todomatsu otra vez apenas miró que una mano espeluznante pretendía posarse sobre él. -Te dejaré este pequeño regalo por aquí. Quién sabe, tal vez podríamos volvernos a ver –Y dicho esto, el espíritu sumergió sus garras en el rostro de Todomatsu justo antes de apagar las velas de sus manos. ~ * ~* ~~ ~~ ~ * ~* ~~ Karamatsu parpadeó varias veces aún con los ojos entrecerrados, sintiendo que la presión alrededor de su cuello se había distendido después del movimiento que los sacudió. -¿Eso significa que hemos terminado? –Se dijo a sí mismo el anti Karamatsu mirando hacia el techo. -¿Por qué? –Inquirió el segundo hermano apenas obtuvo la primera bocanada de aire. -¿Por qué? –Repitió en pregunta el contrario -¿Por qué razón tendrían que haber dos de nosotros? ¿De qué me sirve tener más gente parecida a mí? ¿Por qué no debería eliminarte como a ellos? –Indagó guiando una de sus manos hacia atrás. Karamatsu abrió sus párpados lo más que pudo antes de verla aproximándose hacia él. -Veamos si lo que me dijeron es verdad –Le dijo el Karamatsu sin emociones –Tendré que verte de nuevo, copia – Y luego una palma se estampó con fuerza frente a él. ~ * ~* ~~ ~~ ~ * ~* ~~ -¡Ooooh, eso sí fue un terremoto! –Exclamó Jyushimatsu volviendo a sonreír a pesar de lo perturbado que se sentía. -Eso fue muy rápido –Dijo el Jyushimatsu contrario frente a él. -¿Eh? –Soltó el quinto hermano. De hecho pensó que el otro sólo le hablaba cosas que no entendía, tal vez tenía una duda existencial consigo mismo o algo así. -Espero que no tenga que volver a verte nunca más –Escupió despectivamente dándole una mirada tan arrogante que logró colársele por el cerebro como tal. Ese Jyushimatsu no estaba siendo para nada amable con él. -¿Ehhhh? ¿Por qué me dices eso? –Inquirió ya que fue lo primero que se le vino a la mente. -Cállate y sólo quédate quieto –Ordenó con voz seria el anti Jyushimatsu -…cómo desearía poder borrarte aquí mismo – Y antes de que siquiera pudiese responder, una palma le cubrió el rostro hasta taparle los ojos. ~ * ~* ~~ ~~ ~ * ~* ~~ -…harás que tu poder llegue hasta mí cuando te lo ordene –Terminó de hablar el Dodomeki a pesar que el temblor los remeció a ambos. -No, no, no, no ¡Cómo esperas que haga eso! ¡Soy un humano, no sé de qué diablos me estás hablando! –Recalcó Choromatsu dándole razones suficientes como para no hacerlo. Bueno, no era como si al Yokai le interesase demasiado al parecer, lo decía por la forma en la que lo miró. -No te preocupes, lo que puse en tu pecho lo hará por ti –Contestó sonriéndole por primera vez. Realmente hubiese preferido que no lo hiciera, esa mueca sólo le causó escalofríos por lo maliciosa que era. -¡¿Qué?! ¡¿Qué?! ¡¿Qué me has puesto?! –Chilló el de verde escudriñándose otra vez el centro del pecho. -Lo sabrás después, ahora ya no me queda tiempo –Dijo el Yokai estirando otra vez una de sus manos hacia él, abriendo todos los ojos de su cuerpo al hacerlo –Estoy seguro que nos encontraremos otra vez, humano – Choromatsu alcanzó a dar un último grito antes de que esa mano que lo observaba se hundiera en su nariz. ~ * ~* ~~ ~~ ~ * ~* ~~ -Te diré algo antes de irme –Sonrió el demonio descendiendo hasta su altura, mirándolo cara a cara –Tienes poco tiempo para elegir. Volveré por ti a toda costa, tu poder me pertenecerá lo quieras o no, Osomatsu-kun – -¡Ahh! ¡Deja de molestarme, cornudo! –Amenazó Osomatsu con una expresión que dilucidó el berrinche próximo a venir si el demonio no se iba de una buena vez por todas. -¡Ah, qué tonto eres! –Chilló el demonio frunciendo las cejas -¿Es que acaso no le tienes miedo a la muerte? – Osomatsu se quedó callado antes de mirarlo dubitativo. Negó con la cabeza sin decir nada, nervioso de contestar algo que de hecho sí lo mandara al otro mundo. -¿Enserio? –Inquirió el contrario estirando una mano hacia atrás, percatándose de otro remezón que le avisó todo lo que se estaba tardando –Bueno, voy a comprobarlo ahora mismo. Adiós, Osomatsu – El mayor de los sextillizos alcanzó a cubrirse el rostro con ambos brazos antes de ver cómo esas garras los traspasaban como si fuera una simple silueta de humo, enterrándose en el medio de su rostro atravesándolo hasta el fondo. O tal vez eso pensó. Una oscuridad que duró menos de un parpadeo se desvaneció tan rápido como llegó, quebrándose ante él en pequeños fragmentos que bajaron hasta el suelo como vidrios ennegrecidos, fundiéndose con el tatami hasta desaparecer. Megami apareció ante cada uno de ellos respirando agitadamente con ambas manos estiradas, expeliendo una luz tan poderosa que los dejó ciegos por un momento. Las demás personas que había antes en la habitación también aparecieron en su campo visual. Ambos Yokais, el ángel, la chica mágica, la monja y el párroco estaban rodeándolos con manos extendidas también, emitiendo una luminosidad que se fue extinguiendo poco a poco, dejando entrever el gran desgaste que eso le producía a sus cuerpos apenas ésta se apagó por completo. Todos bajaron sus manos apenas se percataron de que los sextillizos habían vuelto en sí. -Qué… -Soltó Osomatsu tocándose la frente como si fuese a encontrar un hueco que no halló. -¡¿Q-qué fue…?! –Le siguió Choromatsu tanteándose la nariz mientras reconocía a todos los presentes. Habían vuelto a donde originalmente estaban. Todos los hermanos se tantearon el rostro tratando de descubrir si algo había cambiado en ellos, pero al parecer todo seguía en orden. -¡¿Están bien?! –Inquirió el Dios mirándolos como si acabara de correr una maratón sólo por ellos. Los sextillizos se miraron por una fracción de segundo, asintiendo al unísono entre inseguridad e inexactitud de su propio bienestar. La deidad se desplomó sobre el suelo como un títere sin hilos, apoyándose sobre sus rodillas con los brazos rendidos sobre su regazo. La luz natural que desprendía parecía haberse reducido considerablemente. -¡Megami-sama! –Exclamó el ángel extendiendo las alas para volar el pequeño tramo que le permitía la habitación hasta llegar al Dios. -¿Qué-qué pasó? –Preguntó Todomatsu todavía sentado al lado de sus hermanos, observando el alboroto que se estaba produciendo. -El demonio –Contestó el padre sujetándose el relicario de su cuello –El demonio llegó hasta este lugar –Dijo descendiendo hasta su altura totalmente exhausto. -¿El demonio? –Repitió Karamatsu sintiendo cómo el kitsune se inclinaba cerca de él. Osomatsu inhaló como si de pronto comprendiese la situación un poco mejor que los demás. -Esa…fue una magia muy poderosa como para sólo mostrarse ante ustedes –Dijo Megami dando largas respiraciones antes de continuar –Usó la energía que se robó para crear una ilusión neutral – -¿Una qué? –Preguntó Choromatsu. -Un sitio franco en su mente, fuera de la mano de Dios –Respondió el ángel con los ojos cerrados, demasiado concentrado en transmitir lo poco que tenía de energía al dios que poco a poco comenzaba a recobrar la compostura. -Jugó con sus cabezas un rato, ustedes no han salido de aquí –Dijo Yuki-onna sentándose entre cabeceos. -No, no, no ¡Espera! Yo no vi ningún demonio, sólo… -Se detuvo Todomatsu –No sabría cómo describirlo, él era…igual a mí – -Vi a un Nekomata –Soltó Ichimatsu casi como autoconfirmación. -¡El Karamatsu del otro mundo! –Exclamó el segundo hijo levantando la cabeza –Yo lo vi –Dijo demasiado consternado como para actuar con su dolorosidad natural. -¿Qué están planeando? –Indagó en voz alta la chica mágica, apoyándose contra la monja que permaneció en silencio sentada sobre el suelo. -Suficiente, Jyushimatsu –Detuvo la deidad poco antes de que el aludido dejara de apoyar sus manos contra él, desplomándose sobre sus propios brazos ya sin luz propia. -¡Eeeehh, ángel-sama! –Chilló Jyushiri desde su posición detrás de ellos. -Está bien, sólo necesita algo de tiempo para recomponerse –Dijo Megami sosteniéndolo. -¿No se supone que ustedes son súper-todopoderosos y esas cosas? –Tanteó Jade acercándose. -El poder que Osomatsu robó contiene toda la energía de mi universo –Contestó el Dios –Si ésta se complementa con los niveles energéticos que tienen ellos entonces las cosas se nos complican mucho más – -Si ese famoso poder es tan importante, ¿Cómo fue entonces que dejaste que se lo robara? –Inquirió el Don acercándose con las manos dentro de los bolsillos de su pantalón. -No es algo que yo pueda mantener bajo mi total dominio. Esa esfera existe incluso antes de mí, se trata de un extracto directo desde su mundo. Ha estado excluyéndonos desde su interior a cada uno de nosotros hasta completar los seis, refugiándose finalmente en un sitio franco sin tener permitido que nadie lo toque –Explicó Megami alzando la cabeza –Es sumamente complicada de controlar para un demonio o un ser de luz, excepto yo; que sólo la he manejado con fines muy específicos – -¿Sólo tú puedes manipularla? –Indagó con suspicacia el Karamatsu de camisa azul, aun sosteniendo la pistola hacia abajo en modo de espera. Esa explicación era lo demasiado extraña como para dejarla pasar así como así. Megami sólo asintió en silencio sin voltear a mirarlo, se había comprometido de forma inconsciente en peinar lentamente los cabellos suaves de su ángel. -Te estás contradiciendo tú mismo –Dijo sagaz el Ichimatsu de traje. El dios continuó sin responder. -Estás acabando con mi paciencia –Sentenció el mafioso azulino –Vas a decirme ahora mismo qué mierda es lo que estás planeando con nosotros, y qué es lo que estás escondiendo –Alzó el brazo que tenía armado y, acto seguido, le apuntó muy cerca de su cuerpo casi etéreo. La deidad esta vez sí lo miró, con calma, como si del cañón sólo fuesen a salirle flores que apenas y rozarían su piel divina. Sin embargo, otro armazón metálico se interpuso con velocidad frente a la boca de fuego, estancándola ahí por si se atrevía a disparar. Los pies rechinaron en un sonido sordo contra el tatami hasta dejarles una marca recta, línea que seguía hacia arriba en la postura elegante que había adoptado la monja, sin pudor de mostrar la correa negra vacía que le atravesaba de manera sensual el muslo. -No te atrevas –Murmuró ésta conteniendo el ardor de furia que le subía por la garganta. Presionó con fuerza el arma que tenía en la otra mano, enterrando con vehemencia la mira de hierro contra el antebrazo del amenazante; quien no desistía en bajar su brazo acusador. -Mi scusi, sorella –Habló Don Ichimatsu al lado de ella, desenfundándose su propia arma para apuntarle en la cabeza –Pero a mí también que gustaría saber qué es lo que sucede aquí –Soltó con voz parsimoniosa, retirando el seguro. El jefe de mafia logró ver por el rabillo de su ojo cómo el padre se levantaba sin pensárselo dos veces, sujetando con fuerza un mango metálico desde su sotana, sin lograr sacarlo. Antes de eso, un fuego fatuo se iluminó entre ellos separándose en varios copos de luz refulgente. Sus cuerpos no se movieron ni un milímetro, de hecho, no podían hacerlo por voluntad propia, un poderío extraordinario dominó cada fibra muscular que poseían para dejarlos como cuatro estatuas vivas a conciencia. -¡Ah, no puede ser! –Chilló el Kitsune con sus colas esponjosas alzadas -¡Choromatsu, me ganaste! – El guardián mágico lo miró de pie con su libro abierto entre las manos, después de recitar en voz baja un conjuro que no demoró en encontrar. Se apoyó la gigantesca llave contra el hombro sin apartar la punta inferior del suelo, intercambiando ojeadas entre los humanos estáticos. -¿Cómo sabes mi nombre, zorro? –Interrogó. -Todos ustedes tienen el mismo maldito nombre, no me jodas –Contestó el yokai recogiéndose las colas hacia abajo otra vez, apagando así mismo las luces flotantes. -Ah, cierto –Acertó el mago sin dejar de mirar a la gente –Ustedes, bajen sus armas. Creo que la situación es lo suficientemente tensa como para complicarla aún más. Unos humanos tan insignificantes no pueden ni rasguñar a un Dios, y los ciervos deberían mantener la compostura antes de clavar los colmillos como perros rabiosos –Ordenó con lengua filosa, cerrando el libro de un solo golpe para liberar a los alborotadores. Todos bajaron sus brazos como si se acabasen de librar de un tremendo peso sobre sus espaldas, respirando a marchas forzadas por el súbito dolor en el pecho que se desvaneció apenas consiguieron moverse. -Lo siento –Susurró al fin Megami –Por favor, no se ataquen entre ustedes. No es algo que puedan comprender, pero prometo irlo explicando poco a poco, antes de que lo vean con sus propios ojos. Sólo necesito que confíen en mí tanto como yo confío en ustedes – El Osomatsu de camiseta apretó los dientes desde el fondo de la habitación, consternado. Los estaba tratando como idiotas. No tenía idea de cómo se había metido en un conflicto de seres tan extraños, tampoco sabía cómo podía apartar de la situación al niño pequeño que tenía entre los brazos, oculto entre su pecho para que no viera la bataola de violencia que se había desembocado en fracción de segundos. Los sextillizos seguían en el suelo sin comprender en absoluto lo que estaba pasando. Se quedaron en silencio, tentados a permanecer en sus propios pensamientos e intentando digerir toda la cantidad de sucesos que habían ocurrido tan rápidos frente a sus ojos. -… ¿No creen que…deberíamos descansar un poco? –Sugirió Jyushiri con indecisión cerca de la pared. -…Opino lo mismo –Apoyó desde el fondo Jade, acercándose en sutiles pasos inseguros. El Karamatsu de camisa azul se quedó con el rostro serio, acomodándose la pistola cerca de la pretina de su pantalón. Mientras que el Ichimatsu de traje le puso el seguro a la suya, guardándosela de regreso dentro del saco a mitad de un chasquido de lengua.La monja los imitó en completo silencio, adecentándose el hábito como si no hubiese sido capaz de mostrar las piernas. El párroco sólo suspiró en alivio. -No creo sentirme muy bien –Todomatsu fue el primero que habló de los hermanos, llevándose una mano a la cabeza como si estuviese lidiando con la resaca más grande de su vida. -¡Quiero dormir! –Chilló Jyushimatsu no muy apegado al desasosiego físico colectivo. -Necesito una ducha –Comentó Choromatsu con voz cansada. -Y yo una cerveza –Le siguió Osomatsu con el mismo tono. Choromatsu achinó los ojos antes de voltear a mirarlo -… ¿Piensas embriagarte en estos momentos? –Apuntó de forma acusatoria. -No veo el por qué no pueda hacerlo si de todos modos ya me siento ebrio –Contestó burlesco. -No, eso no tiene nada que ver. Ya deberías haberte dado cuenta que este no es un maldito sueño, estamos metidos en el peor aprieto de nuestras vidas ¡Y tú sólo piensas en beber hasta caerte muerto! –Exclamó increpándolo. -¡Sólo dije que quería una condenada cerveza! ¡¿Cuál es tu problema?! ¡Desde hace un buen rato que me estás buscando, Shikomatsu! –Bramó en defensa. A Choromatsu la vena de la paciencia se le había reventado hace bastante rato, y ya era mucho decir que se estaba conteniendo para no perder la compostura; no obstante, no podía seguir guardándosela con todos esos bichos raros agobiándolo hasta ese extremo. -¡¿Qué cuál es mi problema?! ¡Te diré cuál es mi maldito problema! ¡Todos y cada uno de nosotros estamos montados en este circo por tu culpa, estúpido mayor! –Estalló el tercer hijo colocándose de pie. Osomatsu lo precedió sin mayores prisas. -¡¿Qué?! ¡¿Qué es mi culpa, eh?! –Incentivó a la pelea. -¡Para empezar, el culpable de todo este meollo es igual a ti! –Acusó Choromatsu. Osomatsu abrió las manos como si esa fuera la excusa más tonta que hubiese escuchado en su vida, y de cierta forma, lo era -¡Todos son iguales a mí, a ustedes, con la misma jodida cara una y otra vez! ¡No me jodas! ¿Piensas que eso me hace a mí el culpable de todo? –Debatió. -Choromatsu-niisan…-Susurró Todomatsu en un vano intento por sosegarlo. -¡Sí! ¡Tal vez si no fueras tan negligente como eres, no tendrías a tu inter-yo destruyendo nuestro universo! – -¡¿Te estás dando cuenta de lo que dices?! –Chilló Osomatsu sin poder creérselo. -… ¿No crees que estás exagerando, burazza? –Le preguntó Karamatsu en voz baja al tercer hijo, intentando enfocar de que sí era una ridiculez. -¡No lo hago! Tiene que haber un por qué para todo esto, y no me equivoco al pensar de que este pedazo de basura tiene mucho que ver en eso –Contestó enfurecido. -Bueno, en cierto punto, tiene algo de razón –Habló Todomatsu concediéndole una verdad de la que ni él mismo estaba seguro. -¡¿HA?! ¡¿Ahora estás de su parte, Todomatsu?! –Saltó de inmediato el Matsuno de rojo. -¡Solo digo! –Comenzó levantando las palmas en señal de no violencia –Que de hecho, sí es una parte de ti a la que se le ocurrió todo esto, ¿No te parece extraño? ¿No crees que estés despidiendo auras oscuras o algo así? –Inquirió el de rosa. -¡Mi flojera no expande auras oscuras como para destruir un universo, par de idiotas! ¡¿Y qué me dicen ustedes, eh?! ¿Que las pajas de Choromatsu desprenden energía como para ayudar a la faz cósmica? ¡Ni hablar! ¡No son blancas palomas, porque no-tiene-nada-que-ver! –Exclamó exasperado de tanto disparate. No era posible, se suponía que él era el del poco razonamiento lógico, no al revés. -¡No digo eso! Es sólo que- -¡Lo estás haciendo! –Le frenó Osomatsu al menor de los seis –Si dices que es por mi culpa, es como decir que Choromatsu ES el tipo de ahí –Dijo apuntando a Megami -¡Siendo que lo único que tienen en común es si es que es tan virgen como él! – -¡Quizás es porque yo no soy como tú! –Contestó Choromatsu. -¡¿Y por eso te sientes como el bueno del cuento?! ¡Relaja tu maldito ego de una vez por todas! –Espetó el mayor. -¡Tómalo como quieras, pero el único responsable aquí eres tú! ¡¿Quién más se robaría algo para matarnos a todos, si no es tu jodida copia?! –Vociferó el tercero. -¡Yo qué sé! ¡Puedes irte a- Pero no terminó. Las palabras se le quedaron a medio camino en una garganta apretada, sentía que algo presionaba su cuello hasta casi atragantarlo. Miró fijamente los ojos de Choromatsu que lo observaron con la misma expresión atónita, pasmada, aterrada. Su pecho dejó de moverse, sus pulmones ya no se podían expandir dentro de su tórax, estaban estáticos, su cerebro había dejado de enviarles la orden para que respirara. Movió sus pupilas buscando a sus hermanos, percatándose que lo miraban desde sus posiciones quietas, expectantes, conscientes de que tampoco podían moverse. -La pelea de hermanos ha llegado hasta aquí –Murmuró Megami desde el suelo, abriendo lentamente la mano semi-cerrada que tenía estirada hacia ellos –Entiendo que estén asustados, pero por favor, esto no es un juego de niños –Dijo expandiendo los dedos en su totalidad, liberando a los sextillizos de un martirio que duró pocos segundos. El guardián mágico se quedó en su sitio silente, observando con atención al Dios cuyo rostro parecía molesto por algo. Podría jurar que la magia que hizo éste era demasiado igual a la suya, sin necesitar tiempo de siquiera conjurarla. El Choromatsu guardián pudo apostar con toda seguridad, que Megami acababa de aprenderlo sólo porque él se lo mostró ante él.De verdad era un ser de mucho cuidado. -¡Bu-bueno! …Apoyo la noción de Jyushiri, deberíamos descansar cuanto antes –Habló la chica mágica dando un solo aplauso suave contra sus manos. Se levantó para sacudirse la falda de un polvo que no existía, estirando las arrugas de los pliegues. Megami asintió con lentitud mientras cerraba los ojos, relajando las facciones de su rostro. -Sí –Apoyó también la deidad –Ellos no atacarán por un muy buen rato. Su movimiento debió consumir mucha energía, además de haber saltado entre los mundos; por lo que necesitan tiempo para recuperarse, igual que nosotros –Dijo fijando su atención en el ángel de su regazo. En cierta manera, agradecía que éste le hubiese traspasado casi la totalidad de su energía hasta quedar inconsciente, cosa muy rara entre seres de luz, ya que de haber visto semejante blasfemia hacia él, probablemente las cosas hubiesen ocurrido de manera muy distinta. -¡Entonces! –Llamó la pelirosada -¡Nos separaremos para hacerlo! – -… ¿Nos qué? –Indagó Jade con ceja alzada. -Que nos separaremos en habitaciones –Respondió ella presionando los nudillos de ambas manos contra sus caderas -¿No pensarás que nos mezclaremos todos con todos, verdad? – -No, no entiendo a lo que vas –Insistió el peliverde. -¿Es porque dormiremos muy apretados? –Inquirió la chica de amarillo. -¡No, eso es lo de menos! ¡Me refiero a que los chicos deberán dormir en otra habitación! –Sentenció con voz firme la de rosa. -¡¿Qué?! –Chilló Osomatsu. Sí, el sólo hecho de pensar que ya no podría dormir con féminas alrededor suyo había logrado llevarse su enojo anterior por un momento. Incluso aunque tuvieran la cara de sus hermanos, para él si tenían tetas, contaba. -¡Hahaha, pijamada de chicas! –Exclamó Jyushiri feliz. -¡No puedes estar hablando enserio, a quién le importa si son chicas o no! –Reclamó el Kitsune del otro lado, éste ya había asumido el cuarto como parte de su territorio temporal. -Además, ¿No creen que es injusto? Ustedes son muy pocas, pueden salir a una habitación más pequeña –Dijo el Fujio rock un poco más confianzudo. -Eso no es lo que haría un verdadero hombre, qué poco caballeroso eres –Soltó la chica de rosa con aires ofendidos –Está decidido, nosotras nos quedaremos aquí. Ustedes tienen la sala de abajo, que desde lejos se ve que es más grande que aquí – -Esto es una tontería –Habló el Ichimatsu de traje después de un rato. -Heh –Suspiró el párroco –Las señoritas tienen razón. Estas damas necesitan su propio espacio y nosotros, como hombres, debemos cedérselo –Habló dramáticamente. -Eres tan virgen que ya deja de ser divertido –Le dijo Osomatsu sin pudor. -¡No! Apoyo a este sujeto. Las ladies estarán más cómodas si se relajan entre ellas en esta habitación –Comentó Karamatsu agarrándose la barbilla, a pesar de que su otro yo le gritaba sin cesar su verdadero deseo de dormir con ellas también. -Tsk –Chistó Ichimatsu pensando que dos tipos dolorosos ya eran demasiado para él. También quería dormir con las chicas, maldición. A pesar que sentía que se moriría de siquiera pensarlo. -¿De verdad se ve tan mal? No es como si fuésemos a hacerles algo –Dijo Jade sin entrar del todo en la sintonía. “Habla por ti mismo” Pensaron algunos. -¡Eso yo no lo sé, ni me interesa saberlo tampoco! –La chica mágica comenzaba a exasperarse. -Las mujeres no pueden dormir con otros hombres que no son sus concubinos, es pecado –Murmuró la monja como si estuviese rezándole a un relicario, siendo que no sonaba muy apasionada al decirlo. Era muy extraña, la idea parecía hasta decepcionarla. -¡Es el mandato de Dios! –Saltó el padre con una sonrisa orgullosa. Megami sonrió también. No recordaba haberlo puesto en algún lado, o tal vez sí, pero de todas formas los humanos podían hacer lo que quisieran, él estaba intentando reestablecer su capacidad energética. -Bien, entonces nosotros bajaremos a descansar –Dijo el Dios levantándose con el arcángel entre sus brazos, como un mártir. -¡Todos los hombres afuera! –Afirmó la victoria la pelirosa mientras levantaba consigo el brazo de la monja a la fuerza. El conejito se frotó contra las piernas de Jyushiri sólo para llamar su atención. -¡Qué lindo eres! –Exclamó ella apenas lo alzó, apretándolo con fuerza contra su pecho en un abrazo que lo apachurró. El panda rojo hizo lo mismo contra el hábito de la religiosa, estirando sus patas delanteras hacia ella. Se agachó para recibirlo en silencio entre sus brazos, sonriendo con quietud. Sí que era lindo de cierta manera. -¡Huh, mentira! –Chilló Todomatsu -¡Eso no es justo! –Dijo mirando a los animales. -Los animales no entran en esa categoría –Dijo la hermana con el panda entre sus brazos. -Eres un pequeño tramposo…-Farfulló Osomatsu mirando al bicho con expresión acusadora. Podía él mismo asegurarse que éste se estaba burlando de él. El único niño que había en ese lugar corrió hasta esconderse también entre las piernas de la monja. Jyushiri se acercó hasta él para palparle la cabeza con cuidado. -¡Él también es muy lindo! –Aduló al niño que le sonrió con más confianza. -Lo siento, ¿Podría quedarse con ustedes? –Preguntó el Osomatsu de camiseta mientras se acercaba a ellas. Él pensó que su hermano estaría en mejores condiciones rodeado de las chicas, ya que éstas parecían un poco menos intimidadoras que los demás mequetrefes. Excepto por la religiosa terrorista, pero eso ya era otra cosa, al menos se llevaba bien con el pequeño y tenía más conciencia con él. -¡¿Eh?! ¿Eso no es también trampa? –Se preguntó Jyushimatsu haciéndose cálculos mentales. -¡Claro que no, un niño es muy diferente! –Exclamó la chica mágica en su defensa. El Omega apretó la manga amarilla del Alfa que estaba a su lado antes de que éste avanzara un paso más. Presionó la tela entre sus dedos con labios temblorosos, suplicándole con la mirada de que algo definitivamente no andaba bien. -¿Eh? ¿Qué sucede, Karamatsu-niisan? –Inquirió con una sonrisa. Sus pupilas se dilataron apenas inhaló por instinto. Comprendió en ese instante qué era lo que sucedía. El Omega estaba aterrado, porque él mismo sabía lo que su cuerpo trataba de decirle. -N-no puede ser… -Murmuró el Alfa sin borrarse la sonrisa que casi nunca se iba, transformándola en una mueca abierta de consternación -¿Ya es hora, tan pronto? ¿No era después de Choromatsu-niisan? –Preguntó nervioso. -El celo de Choromatsu terminó hace cuatro días, y no tengo mis supresores… -Contestó tragando saliva –No falta mucho, yo sé que está por venir. Por favor, no me dejes solo con ellos –Suplicó con un hilo de voz. Jyushimatsu no supo qué hacer, ni siquiera estaba seguro de que podría mantenerlo a salvo él mismo estando ahí, con las feromonas de Omega rodeándole la nariz a pesar de que ya estaba acoplado. -Entonces, con su permiso –Fue el mafioso azulino el primero en salir. -¡E-esperen! –Alcanzó a decir en voz alta el Alfa, acercándose a todos con Karamatsu pegado a su espalda. Se habían mantenido todo el tiempo atrás, alejados del alboroto, tensos con su instinto de que no debían meterse con algo que era colosalmente más poderoso que ellos, sólo atentos a moverse si es que la situación de verdad lo ameritaba para su supervivencia. -¡Oh, ya basta, dejen de rezongar! –Habló Yuki-onna exhausto. Estaba hasta las narices de tener que seguir soportando encontrones inútiles entre ellos. -¡No es eso! Por favor, dejen que Karamatsu-niisan se quede con ustedes –Pidió con premura el Alfa. -¡No, ni de broma, es claramente un chico! –Se negó la chica mágica cruzándose de brazos. El rostro del Omega estaba rojo como un tomate. No era por el efecto del celo, éste no aparecía en su sistema aún, sólo le estaba avisando por medio de pequeños e imperceptibles dolores lumbares y de vientre, mientras percibía cómo los aromas se intensificaban a su alrededor poco a poco. Más bien, estaba terriblemente avergonzado. Ya de por sí era un tema bastante incómodo de hablar para un Omega macho, cuyas particularidades no eran tan comunes, por lo que explicarlo de manera abierta frente a un grupo de personas desconocido, que no eran iguales a ellos, lo hacía sentirse más inferior de lo que su propia casta ya lo proclamaba de por sí. -N-no entienden…yo… -Murmuró inseguro de continuar. Un Alfa ya había hablado antes que él, y aunque fuera su propio hermano menor, su naturaleza siempre seguía estando por delante. Pero estaba demasiado nervioso como para prestarle sensatez a esa parte innata de su raza. Megami lo miró entendiendo de inmediato la situación. -Pueden estar tranquilas, él tiene ciertas particularidades –Comenzó mirándolos de forma intercalada –Estoy seguro que se las explicará con detalle cuando entre en más confianza con ustedes, pero pueden sentirse seguras con un Omega aunque éste sea macho –Dijo acercándose al shoji. La pelirosada miró el rostro afligido del Omega, tan consternado que parecía tener los ojos vidriosos de la vergüenza. Suspiró con pesadez. -Está bien. Tomaré su palabra. SÓLO porque es un caso especial y tengo curiosidad por saber de qué se trata –Aceptó con una mueca que pretendía ser una sonrisa. -…esto suena como el ingreso para un concurso exclusivo–Murmuró Ichimatsu más bien para sí mismo. -¡Muchas gracias! –Exclamó el Alfa sonriente, haciendo una reverencia de agradecimiento justo antes de despedirse con la mano y salir por la puerta. Todos fueron saliendo uno a uno, dejando a los sextillizos como parte de los últimos en retirarse. -¿Eh, por qué no vienes? –Inquirió el Kitsune de rojo al otro yokai. -¿Mhm? No hace falta –Dijo Yuki-onna sentándose en el suelo. -¡Oye!, ¡¿no se supone que eres un hombre?! –Berreó Todomatsu mirándolo. -Yuki-onna es diferente, es casi parte de nosotras. Por completo distinto a ustedes –Dijo la chica de rosa. -¡Eso es complemente fuera de lugar! –Debatió Choromatsu. -¡Es trampa! –Aulló el Kitsune moviendo las colas -¡¿Y por qué yo no?! – -¿Los Kitsune no son criaturas pervertidas? –Preguntó Jyushiri sin malas intenciones. Sin embargo, el aludido la miró ofendido -¡Claro que no, somos seres guardianes! –Contestó frunciendo el ceño. Que sí, estaba mintiendo hasta cierto punto, pero no era el momento de aceptar que de vez en cuando miraba a las humanas bañarse en los estanques termales, a pesar de que no poseía libido como tal. -De todas formas, Yuki-onna tiene permitido quedarse con nosotras –Sentenció la pelirosa. -¡Tramposo! –Acusó con un dedo al otro yokai. Éste sólo le sonrió socarronamente antes de verlo retirarse. Una vez todos (casi) los hombres salieron de la habitación, Megami fue el último en cerrar el shoji con su magia detrás de él. Descendieron las escaleras en fila, los sextillizos ignorándose de manera olímpica por el reciente encontrón verbal que habían tenido. La noche sería muy larga. * ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- * -Hey, aquí estabas –Dijo el Osomatsu de camiseta al Matsuno mayor. Osomatsu no contestó, permaneció sentado con las piernas recogidas a los costados en el diminuto espacio que había entre el ima y el jardín. El contrario cerró el shoji antes de hacerlo con el ventanal, acomodándose a su lado con un sonoro reclamar de músculos. -¿Quieres? –Preguntó extendiéndole una lata de cerveza –Espero no te importe, las saqué del refrigerador –Dijo abriéndose la suya propia para después darle un largo trago. De todas formas, la hubiese tomado aunque al otro Osomatsu le molestara, se moría de sed. Osomatsu la miró unos instantes con expresión meditabunda – No –Soltó al fin con sequedad. -La dejaré aquí, entonces –Murmuró ofreciéndosela de todos modos, depositándola en el suelo, cerca de la pierna del Osomatsu más bajo. Miró hacia el frente mientras le pegaba otro sorbo a su bebida, fijándose en lo estrecho que era el jardín. Se topó de frente con una pandereta de concreto, simple y sin gracia, en sincronía con el suelo enmalezado y medio marchito. Probablemente en una casa con seis hijos que no hacían nada ese era el panorama más cercano a la realidad, así como sucedía en la suya. -… ¿Estás molesto por lo que te dijo tu hermano? –Musitó sin voltear a mirarlo. Osomatsu guardó silencio antes de contestar –No, no me importa lo que diga – El Matsuno de camiseta sonrió –Ya veo –Dijo en aceptación, a pesar de que sabía que era mentira -¿Entonces es por la cerveza que te robé? – -Puedes bebértela, tampoco me importa –Masculló con frialdad. -¿Enserio? Pensé que te podría sacar de tus casillas un poco. Digo, yo lo haría si me robaran las mías – -No, te estás tomando las de Choromatsu, las mías ya no existen –Dijo molesto de recordar su nombre. El Osomatsu de camiseta se carcajeó con fuerza –Ah, entonces te estoy haciendo un favor –Dijo dándole otro trago. El mayor de los sextillizos volvió a quedar en silencio, observando ceñudo la tierra mojada. Ya casi no quedaba nada del atardecer, así que las sombras abrazaban con recelo todo lo que aparecía frente a ellas. La humedad también se sentía después de un día tan cálido, enfriando el aire poco a poco. -¿Estás molesto por tener tantas personas en tu casa? –Insistió en la ronda de preguntas. Tampoco recibió respuesta. -¿O tal vez porque las mujeres te sacaron de la habitación? Te diré algo: A mí también me hubiese gustado dormir ahí –Admitió después de otro sorbo. -¡Ahh, ya cállate! –Soltó Osomatsu golpeando el suelo -¡¿Podrías dejarme solo, maldita sea?! – -No se me da la gana, estoy cómodo aquí –Contestó echándose con ligereza hacia atrás, apoyándose con las palmas para no recostarse. Dejó la cerveza hacia un lado y fijó su vista hacia arriba –Además, si lo hago, de seguro estarás sin hablar con nadie de aquí a mañana, y el día siguiente, y el siguiente, y el que continúa. Porque así reaccionas cuando te sientes herido, ¿No es así? –Tanteó sonriendo. Osomatsu se relajó en su sitio de nuevo, sin dejar de mirar la tierra y las plantas desordenadas. -¿Cómo sabrías eso? –Musitó el de sudadera roja. -Porque de cierta forma yo soy tú –Dijo el de camiseta –Sí, por extraño que suene – El sextillizo mayor miró esta vez sus propios calcetines, justo debajo de sus rodillas -…así que sí podemos parecernos en algo –Dijo en medio de una sonrisa. -Así parece –Respondió el otro sonriendo también, frotándose debajo de la nariz con el dedo índice. Hubo otro pequeño silencio antes de que el Osomatsu de camiseta se decidiese a hablar de nuevo -…tú no tienes la culpa –Murmuró enviando su punto de gravedad hacia adelante, volviendo a quedar en la misma posición del otro. -Eso ya lo sé, es sólo que…-Hizo una pausa, entrecerrando los ojos –Me emputa un montón que Shikomatsu no encuentre otra forma de librarse del problema. Es decir, ¡Sí, soy el mayor! Pero eso no significa que pueda hacer y deshacer dimensiones como se me dé la jodida gana, y eso ya debería saberlo – -Supongo que estaba tan asustado como nosotros. Somos personas normales, después de todo –Dijo el de camiseta roja –A veces la solución más fácil y segura es culpar al hermano que viene antes que tú – -Eso puede ir para un niño, o para hermanos que se llevan una buena diferencia… ¡Pero esto es completamente distinto! –Chilló Osomatsu frunciendo el ceño otra vez. -¿Por qué debería ser distinto si siguen siendo hermanos? –Inquirió el otro. -¡Porque somos sextillizos! ¡Tenemos la misma maldita edad, no hay nada que nos diferencie en eso! Dices esas cosas porque no vives con cinco hombres que nacieron al mismo tiempo que tú –Espetó el de sudadera roja. -Mhhm…puede que sí. Pero eso no quita el hecho de que también tengo que vivir con cinco hermanos más, y que no importa lo que haga, sigo siendo el mayor. En cierto punto, es igual contigo. Tú sigues siendo el primero en nacer, así que eres el hermano mayor –Dijo mirándolo a los ojos. Osomatsu pensó en que ya había tenido ese planteamiento mental varias veces, cosa que le causaba un constante deja vú. Ya se había preguntado y respondido eso en algún momento atrás, y ahora él mismo se lo estaba repitiendo frente a él como si fuese un mal chiste. -¿Y sólo por eso no debería sentirme mal? –Le preguntó al de camiseta roja. -No estoy diciendo que lo que te dijo Choromatsu estuvo bien, porque no fue así. Pero creo que deberías darle la oportunidad de escucharlo cuando venga a disculparse contigo, y tomártelo enserio como lo haría un buen hermano mayor. Estamos todos tensos, así que sólo fue un arranque de ira, nada más. Él no tuvo la intención específica de herirte de esa forma, ni de lanzarte toda la culpa, por lo que deberías tomarte las cosas más a la ligera como siempre lo haces. Creo que es nuestra virtud más fuerte –Comentó éste en respuesta. -… ¿De verdad crees que Choromatsu dejaría su orgullo por disculparse después de eso? –Inquirió escéptico. El otro Osomatsu sonrió –Si todos tenemos algo en común con nuestros otros yo, entonces estoy seguro de que lo hará. Porque su propia rectitud hará que los demás le abran los ojos esta vez –Dijo tomando su cerveza de nuevo -¡Créeme, Oniichan conoce a sus hermanitos! – Osomatsu se puso a reír mientras se frotaba debajo de la nariz con un dedo -¡Entonces esperaré a que se arrastre a pedirme disculpas, y le exigiré dinero a cambio! –Exclamó decidiéndose a tomar su propia lata y abrirla con todo el entusiasmo que estaba conteniendo. El sonido refrescante que soltó lo animó a pegarle un largo primer sorbo. -¡Eso sí que es lo que haría un hermano mayor! –Alentó el otro alzando su lata para chocarla con la otra. Osomatsu accedió, golpeándolas suavemente con un sonido metálico. -¡Y tú me debes un par de cervezas más! –Carcajeó seguro de sí mismo. -¡Imposible! –Chilló el de camiseta. ~ * ~* ~~ ~~ ~ * ~* ~~ -No lo puedo creer, ¿Qué clase de truco les hizo? Mamá ni siquiera alcanzó a terminar la cena –Refunfuñó Choromatsu mientras revisaba las verduras a medio cortar sobre el mesón de cocina. -Parece que se sintió mal mientras la hacía. Tu papá tampoco alcanzó a llegar hasta el futón, ¿Estás seguro que estarán bien? –Inquirió Jade verificando que la mujer sí había logrado apagar los fogones antes de retirarse a su habitación. -No lo sé muy bien, dejaré que ellos se encarguen por el momento –Dijo cerrando las puertas de un estante abierto, entrecerrando los ojos al analizar su propia línea –Aunque no estoy muy seguro si esa es una buena idea o no – -Todo es esto es muy, muy extraño –Murmuró el peliverde después de darse cuenta que de hecho, la arrocera había quedado andando y la lucecita indicadora aún no cambiaba de color. -¿Y me lo estás diciendo a mí? –Contestó Choromatsu arremangándose la sudadera, acercándose al refrigerador para verificar qué más podía agregarle a lo que sea que su madre estuviese cocinando –Hubiese preferido que me secuestrasen los extraterrestres, esto sale de cualquier lógica posible –Dijo abriendo la puerta de la heladera para revisar por dentro –He visto mi cara tantas veces que podría sacarme los ojos, la casa está llena de gente extraña y nuestros padres están prácticamente en coma… ¡Y quién rayos me sacó las malditas cervezas! –Chilló sin inhalar entre las palabras, sujetándose el puente de la nariz por la repentina jaqueca que le astilló el cerebro. Jade pareció tener el mismo problema, porque se frotó la frente con desesperación. -Creo que ustedes también necesitan descansar, comienzan a salirse de control –Le dijo el peliverde en una exhalación. -¡Estoy perfectamente bien! –Renegó Choromatsu al borde de un colapso histérico. Para él era como si el mundo se hubiese dado vuelta de cabeza en tres segundos. -Solemos salirnos de nuestras casillas cuando algo no sale de acuerdo a lo que planeamos –Habló el guardián mágico entrando a la cocina mientras hacía maromas con las manos para alzar las cosas. -¡No me estás ayudando! –Exclamó el tercer hermano apenas divisó los utensilios volar por todo el lugar. Más bien se estaba refiriendo a su propia salud mental, que en la propia ayuda culinaria que podría recibir del otro. -¿De qué hablas? Lo estoy haciendo –Respondió el mago moviendo uno de sus dedos para elegir hacia dónde se dirigía qué objeto a qué ubicación. Leyó algo del inmenso libro que tenía levitando cerca de él, recitando un par de cosas que dieron frutos a lo que pedía. Las hornallas comenzaron a funcionar de nuevo y el caldo hirvió en un sonido ascendente, listo para recibir los vegetales que ya estaban dispuestos a ser cocinados. Los cuchillos se movieron por sí solos sobre las dos tablas de cortar, picando con maestría los pocos ingredientes que quedaban para acabar la faena inconclusa. Choromatsu se tuvo a que hacer a un lado cuando del refrigerador salió eyectado un trozo de carne roja que dio a parar contra el mesón, mientras manos invisibles parecían condimentarla y dividirla en porciones pequeñas para estofarlo. Se sentía como en una película de Ghibli o en un antiguo corto de Disney, viendo la comida moverse por sí sola y prepararse sin la ayuda de nadie. El guardián mágico bajó las manos cuando sus direcciones ya no fueron necesarias para que el conjuro terminara por su propia cuenta. -¿Tienes un momento para hablar conmigo, Choromatsu-kun? Prometo que la cena estará lista para cuando hayamos terminado –Aseguró el del sobrero gracioso. Choromatsu decidió que tal vez no era tan mala idea. Lo que sea para poder salir de ahí lo antes posible. Él sólo quería un baño caliente, maldita sea. Se apartaron cerca de la pared de la sala. Choromatsu se sentó con las piernas recogidas, observando cómo Ichimatsu estaba, alegóricamente, fusionándose con el papel tapiz del otro lado. El tipo de traje blanco lo estaba acompañando al costado, así que se imaginó el porqué de su incomodidad. Jade atravesó la habitación para dirigirse sabe dios a dónde, mientras que Megami estaba en el medio con aspecto cabizbajo, como si estuviese quedándose dormido con el ángel entre sus brazos y sobre sus piernas flexionadas. Pudo fijarse que también despedía pequeñas lucecitas que parecían luciérnagas a su alrededor. -¿Estás cansado? –Preguntó el mago en voz baja. -No te imaginas cuánto –Contestó el tercer hijo. -Creo que sí. Fue muy difícil sacarlos de esa hipnosis –Dijo dejando al fin la enorme llave dorada recostada en el tatami –Lucían como marionetas rotas – -Supongo que fue por su ayuda que logramos despertar, muchas gracias –Agradeció sin el ánimo que debería tener. -No me agradezcas, yo no hice nada, fueron ellos –Indicó con la mirada a los dos seres de luz que habían en la habitación. -¿Eh? ¿Por qué? Tú también tienes magia y esas cosas extrañas –Indagó Choromatsu. -Megami me lo pidió. En estos momentos el poder mágico es su recurso más importante, así que era arriesgado utilizarlo por completo. Piensa en esto como si fuese un juego de mesa, en el que puedes guardar fichas para usarlas después –Contestó demarcando las protuberancias decorativas de su libro –En estos momentos, nada se puede acercar a esta casa, porque tengo una barrera protegiéndola. Mi deber es mantenerla hasta que todos los seres de magia recuperen sus energías –Reveló en voz baja. -Esa es una tarea muy importante – -No es la gran cosa –Develó con arrogancia. Choromatsu frunció la nariz un poco, sintiendo su propio ego frotarle la cara por primera vez. Hubo un silencio incómodo después de eso. El guardián suspiró antes de hablar de nuevo –No estuvo bien –Dijo cerrando los ojos. -¿Mhm? ¿Qué cosa? –Preguntó el tercer hijo. -Lo que dijiste hace un rato –Contestó –No estuvo bien que le echaras la culpa a alguien que no la tiene –Comentó mirándolo a los ojos. Choromatsu la evitó, incómodo. Esta vez frunció el ceño –No es verdad. Enserio pienso que es su culpa – -No lo intentes, en esta ocasión no es una discusión que puedes ganar –Advirtió. -¡¿No piensas que sí tenemos cosas en común?! Es decir, su simple estupidez pudo crear algo tan malo como un demonio en el otro universo, creo que esa cosa debe ser igual a él –Debatió haciendo una mueca con la boca. -¿Puedes afirmar que tienes las mismas características de un Dios? –Preguntó alzando una ceja el de sombrero verde. Choromatsu permaneció en silencio sin saber qué responder. Sólo asintió con la cabeza como una máquina, sin siquiera analizar bien la inquisitiva. -No seas mentiroso, ni tú mismo lo puedes creer a ciencia cierta –Contestó el mago –De verdad estoy tratando de encontrar la diligencia intelectual que debería haber en ti, ¿Sabes? Y no la estoy consiguiendo –Dijo seriamente. Choromatsu hizo un puchero extraño entre la molestia y la pena. Se sentía como un tonto, sí, pero no podía evitar que esas palabras calaran profundo en su ser orgulloso. -…No sé qué es lo que estoy haciendo –Admitió el tercer hijo llevándose las manos a la frente. El guardián mágico sonrió. Ahí estaba la sensatez que buscaba dando aleteos ahogados entre todo ese peso mental. -Deberías comenzar por pensar en cuán rápido estás tomando malas decisiones. Se supone que asumirías mantener la calma en lugar de andar gritoneando ante este problema –Comentó volteando a mirarlo, dándole apoyo moral tocándole el hombro –También tienes que entender que ninguno de tus hermanos tiene la culpa de nada, ni los otros seres que están aquí. Así como hay un Osomatsu demonio queriendo destruir todo, también hay un Choromatsu malintencionado que pretende hacer lo mismo –Dijo con seguridad. El de sudadera verde tragó saliva con pesadez, asintiendo con la cabeza. -Todos somos iguales y diferentes de algún modo, porque a pesar que poseemos la misma esencia, seguimos siendo distintas personas. ¿No crees que eso también te pueda desligar de cualquier culpa? –Persuadió provocando que el otro lo mirara a los ojos –Con todo lo que gritaste pusiste un peso muy grande sobre los hombros de tu hermano, uno que sí llegó a sentir y del cual no tiene por qué cargar. ¿No crees que deberías disculparte con él? –Incitó con voz suave. Choromatsu esta vez hizo una mueca entre rabia y espanto. -¡No, no puedo hacer eso! –Exclamó. -¡Normalmente diría otra cosa, pero en estos momentos no es la situación para darle prioridad a nuestro ego! –Respondió de vuelta. -¡¿Tienes una maldita idea de lo que significa pedirle disculpas a él?! ¡Se reirá de mí hasta que esté en mi tumba! ¡No, ni pensarlo! –Chilló Choromatsu frunciendo las cejas. -¡¿De verdad crees que si siguen así tendrán tiempo hasta esa fecha?! –Inquirió con voz alta, bajándola de inmediato antes de seguir hablándole –Si continúan peleados para cuando el demonio aparezca, entonces será demasiado tarde para disculparse –Dijo en sentencia. El tercer sextillizo cerró sus ojos con pesadumbre, envuelto en resignación. ¿De verdad…sus vidas corrían peligro hasta ese punto? Parecía un sueño demasiado real. Por mucho que discutiera con sus hermanos y por más que deseara verlos bajo tierra varios metros al fondo, no era como si quisiese que de verdad pasara. De hecho se preocupaba por ellos, maldita sea, le sacaba de las casillas que él fuera el único pujando al resto para poder salir de la miserable e inútil vida de nini que tenían, a pesar que también le causara satisfacción sentir que era el más responsable de todos ellos. O al menos eso era lo que se trataba de decir para auto-mentirse.Y ahora resulta que más vidas pendían de las decisiones que tomaran en esos instantes. Sentía que podría darse un tiro en cualquier momento. -…me cobrará para recibir su perdón, de eso estoy seguro –Murmuró consciente de las consecuencias. El guardián mágico sonrió ante la respuesta. Había logrado su objetivo: Hacer que se diera cuenta que él estaba mal. -Sí, sé cómo puede llegar a ser él –Contestó el mago –Pero también sé que es fácil distraerlo, y con toda esta gente aquí, te aseguro que no tendrá tiempo para exigirte dinero a cambio –Dijo sonriendo de forma triangular, siendo imitado con la misma. Tal vez con todo este episodio tan caótico se olvidarían de esa pelea tan infantil que habían tenido. -¿Dónde está Osomatsu-niisan? –Indagó buscando con la mirada. -Por ahí detrás –Apuntó con la mirada la dirección hacia el jardín. -¡Choromatsu-niisan! –Gritó Jyushimatsu apenas entró a la habitación y dio con su paradero, azotando el shoji a su paso. -Ah, seguían aquí –Dijo el Kitsune ingresando detrás de él, seguido de todos los demás. Choromatsu miró a sus hermanos -¿Cómo están nuestros padres? –Preguntó. -Heh –Farfulló Karamatsu –Aún se encuentran bajo el delgado velo de la- -Siguen dormidos. Pero están bien –Interrumpió Todomatsu al segundo hermano, mirando algo en su celular mientras hablaba. -¡Choromatsu-niisan! ¡No te imaginas lo fuertes que son ellos! –Exclamó Jyushimatsu con una sonrisa, apuntando con la manga caída al Karamatsu de camisa y al Alfa de amarillo -¡Los levantaron ellos solos, con los brazos! ¡Es increíble! –Animó levantando y flexionando los brazos en el aire una y otra vez, no consciente que de hecho, él también podía hacer lo mismo si se lo proponía. Jyushimatsu tenía una fuerza de la que al parecer no estaba del todo en su conocimiento. -¿No creen que ellos no deberían ocuparse de esas cosas? –Tanteó el tercer hijo más bien por cortesía cultural que por interés de buen anfitrión. -¿No venías a hacer la cena, Choromatsu-niisan? –Inquirió Todomatsu ignorando a propósito la interrogante anterior. -¿Eh? …ah…- -La estoy haciendo yo –Contestó el guardián mágico con tranquilidad –Enseguida estará lista –Aseguró. Todomatsu ojeó la cocina desde su posición, oyendo ajetreo por dentro. El aroma agradable de los condimentos llenaron los sentidos olfativos de todos los presentes, así que desistió de su idea de comprobar cómo era que podía cocinar desde ese lugar sin moverse en lo absoluto. El cura entró por el shoji abierto, persignándose mientras se sujetaba el crucifijo del cuello. -¡Ya está! ¡He purificado todo este lugar! –Exclamó cerrando los ojos con sonrisa altanera, mientras levantaba la barbilla hacia el techo. -¡Oh! –Soltó Karamatsu con asombro. Nadie más dijo nada. Choromatsu se preguntó si de hecho eso había sido necesario sabiendo que ya había una barrera desde antes o fue totalmente inútil. -¿Deberíamos encender la televisión? –Preguntó Todomatsu en voz alta. -¿Las cajas con imágenes de colores? –Inquirió el Kitsune moviendo sus colas con la emoción. -¿No crees que alguien debería preparar el baño primero? –Contestó Choromatsu con otra interrogante –Karamatsu, ¿Podrías calentar el agua? Tengo que hacer algo primero –Pidió colocándose de pie. -Heh, déjamelo a- -¡¿Eeehh, de verdad?! ¡¿Quieres que todos nos turnemos con una sola tina?! –Interrumpió Todomatsu al segundo hijo, desconcentrándose de su teléfono. -¡Vamos a los baños públicos! –Ofreció Jyushimatsu con ánimos felices. -No, no podemos salir de aquí –Respondió el tercero mirando de soslayo al guardián mágico que todavía seguía sentado –Es lo único que nos queda, así que sí, nos turnaremos –Dijo cerrando el tema. -¿Puedo ayudarles de nuevo? –Consultó el Jyushimatsu Alfa tocando el hombro de Karamatsu, sonriendo por lo divertido que sería seguir explorando esa casa que a pesar de ser tan parecida a la suya, todavía tenía cosas y habitaciones diferentes. A Karamatsu se le iluminaron los ojos -¿Eh? ¡Claro que puedes, otro burazza! –Contestó entusiasmado. -¡¿Puedo ir con ustedes?! –Gritó Jyushimatsu alzando los brazos. Normalmente hubiese preferido quedarse haciendo otra cosa, pero conversar con su otro yo sí era de su simpatía y lograba calmar en algo su inmensa curiosidad. El Karamatsu de camisa azul se sentó en el suelo sin decir nada, retirándose el saco negro que traía; aparentemente más distendido, mientras que el Kitsune lo acompañaba molestándolo con alguna conversación sin mucho sentido. Choromatsu miró cómo los dos de amarillo y el hermano de azul salían de la habitación hacia el pasillo, fijándose a continuación en cómo el padre decidía entablar un tema con el guardián mágico para distraerse un poco. Todomatsu se quedó de pie recargado en la pared, demasiado entretenido en tocar la pantalla táctil de su celular como para ponerle atención a nadie más.Inhaló con fuerza, acercándose al shoji que daba hacia la salida del jardín, abriéndolo para encontrarse de frente con el Osomatsu de camiseta que pretendía ingresar. -¿Eh? –Soltó el tercer hijo un poco descolocado. El mayor sonrió con mirada cómplice al sextillizo de rojo –Los dejo solos ~ -Dijo desordenándole los cabellos a Choromatsu antes de entrar y cerrar el ventanal, intercambiando posiciones con el tercer hijo sin que éste mismo lo notara. Choromatsu se quedó con cara de pocos amigos de nuevo, peinándose con las manos los mechones desacomodados. Osomatsu no lo miró, más bien parecía haberse infectado otra vez con el bicho de la indiferencia. -¿Osomatsu-niisan? Ehh… ¿Tienes un momento? –Consultó el de verde aún de pie. Ahí iba de nuevo, escupiendo estupideces como si fuera a romper una marca establecida de cuántas preguntas imbéciles podía hacer en un día. Pero el mayor, para su sorpresa, asintió con la cabeza sin todavía dirigirle la vista, en vez de permanecer amurrado cada vez que se molestaba de verdad. Así que ante la afirmación Choromatsu tomó asiento a su lado, estirando las piernas en posición recta. -…Lo siento –Soltó sin más rodeos. Osomatsu esta vez sí lo miró con expresión neutra –Siento mucho las cosas que te dije. Todo está tan extraño que…no puedo pensar con claridad –Dijo Choromatsu en voz baja, con un rubor en la cara que se extendía hasta sus orejas. Podía verlo venir, el mayor le chillaría algo para después burlarse de él. De hecho no recordaba la última vez en la que se había disculpado con él después de una pelea como esas, más bien terminaban solucionándose mediante alguna tontería que les hiciera olvidar el por qué se habían enojado en un principio. No obstante, el hijo mayor le sonrió de vuelta como sólo él sabía hacerlo. -Está bien, acepto tus disculpas –Murmuró logrando que Choromatsu abriera sus ojos con asombro –También siento todo esto como si me hubiese inyectado diez litros de heroína, así que supongo que…ahora está todo bien –Dijo frotándose por debajo de la nariz con un dedo, denotando que ya se sentía mucho más relajado, tal y como acostumbraba ser. Pero para Choromatsu no era tan convincente, sea lo que sea que le hayan hecho a su hermano mayor éste no estaba respondiendo como él se lo esperaba. -¡De todas formas me tendrás que pagar con algo por todas las tonterías que me dijiste, Choropajerovski! –Exclamó con sonrisa interesada, juntando los dedos índice y pulgar para simular un ademán de dinero. Ah, no. Ahí estaba el estúpido hermano mayor tonto y chantajista de siempre, había sido idiota el preocuparse por él. -¡Ni lo sueñes, sólo acepta mis disculpas y vete al infierno! –Chilló Choromatsu. -¡Oye, esas no son unas buenas disculpas! ¡Págame! –Insistió Osomatsu. -¡Que no, confórmate con eso! –Gritó el tercer sextillizo achicando los ojos, percatándose de las dos latas vacías que yacían sobre la madera chorreando sutiles gotas de líquido -¡Oye! ¡¿Esas no son mis cervezas?! – -¡¿No se supone que venías en símbolo de paz?! – -¡¿Querías una paga?! ¡Ahí la tienes, estúpido hermano mayor! – -¡No, oye, eso no es suficiente! –Berreó Osomatsu levantándose. Choromatsu también lo hizo -¡Si lo es, ahora jódete! – -¡No me mandes al diablo mientras me pides perdón, Shikomatsu! –Chilló de vuelta el de sudadera roja. -¡Deja de llamarme así! Sólo…pensemos en que estamos a mano ¿Si? –Se resignó el de verde. -…bien –Farfulló Osomatsu quedándose en silencio. -Bien –Contestó Choromatsu. -Shikomatsu – -¡Oye! – ~ * ~* ~~ ~~ ~ * ~* ~~ Don Ichimatsu se tronó el cuello en un vano intento para destensar los músculos. Hacía mucho tiempo que no sentía esa pesadumbre física aplastarle el cuerpo de esa forma, supuso que saltar entre estados tridimensionales sí podía llegar a ser gran cosa para un humano como él frente a esos seres tan peculiares.Miró con desgana al sextillizo que estaba junto a él, encogido entre sus propias piernas como lo había estado haciendo desde la primera vez que le habló. Era inconcebible, se suponía que ese manojo de nervios era la razón principal por la cual ellos existían, no podía ser que alguien como eso tuviera que ver con al menos una quinta parte de su ser. -… ¿Por qué siempre estás tan callado? –Inquirió mirándolo con ojos sombríos. Ichimatsu se quería morir ahí mismo. ¡No era posible! Había estado evitando cualquier contacto posible con ese hombre, ni siquiera se movió cuando éste se sentó a su lado sin decirle nada. -Hey, contéstame –Ordenó el Don con voz autoritaria. ¡Y encima el baboso se atrevía a ignorarlo! El de sudadera púrpura comenzó a temblar involuntariamente. Por dios, podría defecar ahí mismo por lo presionado que estaba. -¡¿Me estás escuchando?! –Vociferó para que lo oyera. Se contuvo de gritarle alguna palabrota para despabilarlo, pero de verdad pensó en hacerlo. -…S-sí –Musitó en respuesta casi inaudible. El sujeto de traje suspiró con pesadez -¿Para qué te pones tan nervioso? No es como si vaya a pegarte un tiro en la cabeza o algo así –Dijo decidiéndose a retirarse el sombrero de la cabeza, mismo el cual había desistido en quitárselo, no obstante el ambiente parecía mucho más tranquilo como para dejarlo reposando en el suelo. -…Eh… ¿Eh? ¿De verdad? –Murmuró admitiendo que de hecho sí lo creía capaz. -¿Enserio lo pensaste como una posibilidad? –Indagó el Don alzando una ceja despoblada. Farfulló algo en italiano que ni Ichimatsu alcanzó a oír, mientras se retiraba con desgana el saco blanco para quedar con más libertad de movimiento. Ichimatsu asintió con la cabeza aún pegada a las rodillas. El mayor suspiró otra vez, dibujando una mueca fastidiada con la boca. -Que tenga un trabajo distinto al habitual no significa que esté tan loco de la cabeza, no iré disparándole a la gente por la calle como un lunático –Dijo flexionando una pierna. Oh, Ichimatsu podría decir lo contrario después de ver el espectáculo que había dado éste frente a la monja. -Los demás… ¿También están en tu mundo? –Preguntó Ichimatsu de manera indecisa, arrepintiéndose después de hablar. -¿Te refieres a tus hermanos? –Recibió otro asentimiento de cabeza –Sí…se podría decir que sí. No tienen nada que ver conmigo, aunque…-Se detuvo a media respuesta, sonriendo para él mismo ante el recuerdo que asaltó su cabeza. Tal vez si se lo mostraba podría romper el hielo con el cuarto sextillizo -¿Quieres conocer a mi gattina? –Consultó con voz amigable, casi reflejando brillo en sus ojos. ¿Una gata? Ichimatsu pensó que tal vez sí podía tener algo en común con ese sujeto además de facciones parecidas en el rostro. Asintió de nueva cuenta aceptando la invitación, destensándose de la posición tan encorvada que había estado llevando por tanto tiempo.El mafioso se metió las manos en el bolsillo de su pantalón blanco, buscando algo con genuino entusiasmo. La emoción se veía plasmada en su rostro. Al parecer “gattina” significaba para él mucho más que una simple mascota, lo cual reconfortó al cuarto hijo. Si podía sentir tal amor por un felino, entonces tal vez no era tan mala persona como él pensaba.Cuando el Don al fin halló lo que buscaba se lo mostró colocándoselo casi en el rostro. Abrió la billetera púrpura oscuro frente a él, tanteando su interior hasta encontrar un acordeón de varias fotografías pequeñas que se desplegaron hasta sus tobillos.Los ojos cansados del de sudadera morada se abrieron sorprendidos. No era un gato lo que había ahí, sino más bien una persona, por lo cual sólo pudo pensar en una respuesta que salió rodando de su boca con impacto. -… ¿Kusomatsu? –Farfulló. Pero al parecer ese seudónimo no pareció calarle bien al Don de la mafia italiana. Por lo que lo agarró con fuerza de la sudadera, apretándole el cuello de ésta con los dedos tan apisonados que pudo percibir la tela enroscarse bajo su tacto. Lo acercó peligrosamente a su rostro, quedando con las narices tan juntas que pudo sentir las exhalaciones furiosas de su interlocutor. -Cuida tus palabras, sacco di merda. No es tu estúpido hermano del cual hablas, así que ten más respeto cuando te refieras a mi gattina, capisci? –Espetó soltándolo con violencia, notando el tremendo espasmo que se acumuló en la tráquea del cuarto hermano. Ichimatsu titubeó desviando la mirada, sudando como un cerdo. Ah, maldita sea, él sabía con anterioridad que era una pésima idea tratar de entablar conversación con ese tipo. No obstante, ya no pudo detener su propia lengua que se movió en contra de su voluntad. -… ¿Qu-quién es él? –Tanteó con voz suave y trepidante, demasiado curiosa para que su cerebro detuviera sus inmensas ganas de mantenerse callado. Tal parece que al Don se le esfumaron los malos humores, puesto que su rostro volvió a iluminarse con esa emoción implícita que tenía con anterioridad. -Il mio amore, la única razón por la que quiero regresar a casa –Soltó el Ichimatsu de traje en respuesta, suspirando como una colegiala enamorada. Bueno, a simple vista ese Ichimatsu tenía muchísima más suerte en el amor que el sextillizo de este mundo, despidiendo miel en cada palabra por… ¡Un momento! -¡¿Estás enamorado de Karamatsu?! –Chilló Ichimatsu demasiado asqueado como para poder guardárselo. ~ * ~* ~~ ~~ ~ * ~* ~~ -¡Ah, su bañera es tan pequeña como en mi casa! –Exclamó el Alfa apenas entró al cuarto donde se encontraba el ofurō, muy estrechamente seguido de la ducha. -¡Sí, por eso preferimos ir a los baños públicos todos juntos! –Respondió Jyushimatsu brincando hacia el interior –Me pregunto por qué Choromatsu-niisan no habrá querido que saliéramos… -Dijo en expresión pensativa. -Eso es muy simple, my little Jyushimatsu –Habló Karamatsu abriendo la llave para proceder a llenar la tina poco a poco –Nuestro burazza está preocupado por nuestra seguridad –Dijo con sonrisa segura. -¡Choromatsu-niisan siempre está preocupado! –Contestó el Alfa con una sonrisa idéntica al quinto hermano. -¡Dime, dime, Alfa-san! ¿Qué tan parecidos somos nosotros con los de allá? –Indagó el de amarrillo de menor estatura. -¿Con mis hermanos? –Averiguó el otro mirando un segundo el techo, pensando en una respuesta -¡Sí, son muy parecidos! Creo que es como si todos siguiéramos siendo Betas –Dijo volteando a mirarlo. -¿Eh? ¿Qué son entonces? –Inquirió Jyushimatsu. -Somos tres Alfas y tres Omegas –Reveló acercándose a lo que vendría siendo el estante de las toallas, sacándolas de las gavetas para dejarlas más a la mano. Después de todo, él mismo se había ofrecido para ayudar –Karamatsu-niisan es un Omega, así que lo acompañé hasta la tienda para que no fuese sólo, pero…terminamos aquí –Comentó llevándose una larga manga cerca de la boca, pensando que de hecho, sí había sido un evento desafortunado. -¿Qué es un Omega, exactamente? –Curioseó Karamatsu dándose vuelta. -¡Los Omegas son personas muy lindas! Siempre huelen bien, a flores y dulces, suelen ser amables y logran calmar a la manada con sólo su presencia –Explicó sonriente –También son los únicos capaces de inducirnos a los Alfas a un celo cuando ellos lo están –Dijo simulando enumerar las características con los dedos. Ah, ahí había salido de nuevo eso del celo. Así que esta vez Jyushimatsu no se contuvo en atacar para saber de una buena vez por todas de qué se trataba. -¿En celo? –Preguntó simplemente. -Sí, en celo. ¿No sabes lo que es? –Indagó algo sorprendido, sin esperar contestación para seguir hablando –Es cuando los Omegas pueden ser fecundados por los Alfas –Declaró como si estuviese repitiendo algo que tuvo que aprender y leer durante toda su vida. Sonaba igual a cómo les habían explicado el celo de los animales. Y de hecho, esa característica les causó un escalofrío que le recorrió la espalda a ambos sextillizos. -Además, es la época perfecta para poder acoplarte con tu pareja –Prosiguió el Alfa como si estuviera recitando el clima. -… ¿Acoplarte? ¿Con tu pareja? ¿Tienes novia? –Escrutó Jyushimatsu con ojos interesados, tratando de pensar con una inocencia que de a poco se iba. -No, estoy unido a un Omega macho –Dijo mirándolo sin notar la incomodidad ajena. Karamatsu quiso en lo más profundo de su ser que Jyushimatsu se callase y decidiera cambiar la conversación para otro rumbo, pero no fue así. -… ¿Un…Omega? –Musitó el quinto hijo como pocas veces lo hacía, observando de soslayo cómo su hermano mayor le dedicaba una mirada de absoluto horror. Es decir, sólo había un Omega en su casa en estos momentos. -Ajá, estoy enlazado con Todomatsu –Respondió el Alfa. Los dos hermanos se atragantaron ahí mismo. Oh, la conversación había dado un giro inesperado para ellos, pero no menos aterradora. O más bien repugnante, o cualquier cosa que les pusiera un signo de “alto” en sus cabezas. -¡¿Qué estás qué con quién?! –Chilló Karamatsu. La bañera se había llenado por completo de agua caliente, así que ya estaba lista para ser utilizada. ~ * ~* ~~ ~~ ~ * ~* ~~ -… ¿Qué están haciendo? –Escudriñó Choromatsu a los presentes cuando paseó su mirada sobre ellos, confundido con lo que veía. El Ichimatsu de traje tenía al cuarto hijo bien sujeto del cuello de la sudadera, sacudiéndolo por sabrá Dios qué cosa. El padre parecía muy concentrado en decirle cosas dolorosas al guardián mágico quien ya estaba en su máximo límite de tolerancia; su entrecejo fruncido se lo anunciaba. Mientras que el mafioso de azul se preparaba para asestarle un prominente puñetazo al Kitsune que hacía rato llevaba molestándolo para que encendiera la televisión. -Se están divirtiendo…supongo –Respondió Osomatsu detrás de su espalda, cerrando el shoji una vez ambos ingresaron a la sala. El Osomatsu de camiseta estaba muy apegado a Todomatsu, pretendiendo ver lo que éste hacía en su celular a pesar de que lo evadía con notoria molestia. Jyushimatsu y Karamatsu ingresaron a la habitación en completo silencio, seguidos de cerca por el Alfa que parecía ajeno a sus expresiones perturbadas. -¿Y a ustedes qué les pasa? –Indagó Choromatsu todavía en su posición. Ambos aludidos negaron con la cabeza, luciendo los labios apretados y los ojos bien abiertos. -¡Ah! ¡¿Puedes callarte, maldita sea?! –Le gritó el mago de verde al párroco cuando su paciencia tocó fondo. Su cambio súbito de ánimo se vio reflejado en la magia que ejercía. Los sartenes volaron desde la cocina hasta atravesar la sala, para terminar estampados contra la pared del otro lado durante un retumbo que los asustó a todos. -Ah…lo siento –Se disculpó recuperando la compostura. Choromatsu se restregó el rostro con las manos como si quisiese arrancarse la piel; su migraña había regresado. -¿Megami-sama? – El dios miró al ángel quien acababa de abrir los ojos de manera perezosa, mientras le ayudaba a incorporarse con lentitud. Las lucecitas que rodeaban su cuerpo se fueron extinguiendo poco a poco, flotando hasta el techo para desaparecer por completo. -¿Jyushimatsu-kun? –Llamó Megami al quinto sextillizo, no obstante los tres que cargaban el mismo nombre voltearon a mirarlo –Lo siento, el Jyushimatsu de este mundo –Enfatizó -¿Podrías sentarte de espaldas frente a nosotros? –Pidió con voz cansada. Jyushimatsu recuperó su ánimo de inmediato, puesto que asintió efusivamente mientras sonreía y accedía al pedido. Tomó asiento en el suelo tal como se lo había indicado el Dios, balanceándose ante la expectación de lo que pretendía hacer la divinidad.Megami llevó ambas manos del ángel contra la espalda de Jyushimatsu, colocando las dos palmas sobre la tela de la sudadera. Una luz se proyectó desde allí con tal intensidad que atrajo todas las miradas curiosas de los presentes, enfocándose en cómo el ser de alado recobraba su vitalidad innata, levantando las alas que habían permanecido plegadas de forma cabizbaja y llenándose de nuevo con la luminiscencia natural que poseía. -¿Q-Qué…? –Pronunciaron varios. Jade entró en la habitación guiado por el repentino brillo que llamó su atención, abandonando su tarea de inspeccionar la casa. La sonrisa del ángel se expandió por todo su rostro, irguiendo la espalda por su propia cuenta. Se mantuvo unos segundos más así antes de separarse del contrario entre risillas suaves y agradecidas. -¡Estoy bien, ya estoy bien! ¡Muchísimas gracias-muscle-muscle! –Gritó levantándose para flotar con un extraño ánimo efervescente renovado. -¡¿Eeeehhh, qué pasó?! –Chilló Todomatsu. -¡Ha-ha! ¡Hustle-hustle! –Respondió Jyushimatsu uniéndose a la celebración. Megami alzó su mirada cansada otra vez –Ustedes son capaces de traspasarnos su energía si la intentamos captar desde su espalda –Contestó esclareciendo lo que había ocurrido, relajando sus manos sobre su regazo con gesto exhausto, encorvado sobre sí mismo. -¿Eh? ¿Enserio? –Curioseó Osomatsu. Choromatsu examinó el aspecto abatido de su contraparte: Ya no lucía como una divinidad imponente y límpida, sino más bien como un mortal despojado de tal derecho, desarmado, lánguido y derrotado. -O-oye, ¿Estás bien? –Preguntó estirando una mano indecisa hacia él. Fue entonces cuando el ángel se dio cuenta del estado de su Dios. Se acercó para sostenerlo de los hombros con extrema precaución, como si incluso su celestial tacto fuese a manchar la inmaculada piel divina que ya no resplandecía. -¡Megami-sama! – -¿Estás bien? ¡Puedo hacer lo mismo si quieres! –Ofreció Jyushimatsu aproximándosele. El Dios negó lentamente con la cabeza –Sólo puede hacerlo nuestra propia esencia –Dijo en voz susurrante. Choromatsu maldijo por lo bajo, sentándose tal y como lo había hecho el quinto hermano para darle la espalda al ser casi desvanecido, refunfuñando mentalmente el por qué no se lo había pedido antes –Diablos, ¿Por qué no me lo dijiste antes? –Reprochó convirtiendo sus pensamientos en palabras. -Jyushimatsu, ¿Te sientes bien? –Preguntó Karamatsu al ver cómo éste se levantaba otra vez. -¡Sí, estoy muy bien! –Respondió el quinto. -¿De verdad? –Insistió Todomatsu sin creérselo todavía. Para él, poniéndolo en palabras más simples, era como si le hubiesen puesto una aspiradora para absorberle su energía vital. -¡Sí, sí! –Dijo de nueva cuenta el de sudadera amarilla. -Nah, eso es porque tú tienes mucha energía siempre –Comentó Osomatsu despreocupado, observando cómo el ángel guiaba las manos del Dios para posarlas contra la espalda del tercer hijo, tal y como éste lo había hecho con él. La misma luz que se había liberado volvió a resplandecer con más intensidad, sin embargo Megami no se movió. -¿Cómo te sientes? –Preguntó el sextillizo mayor al tercero con notoria curiosidad. -Mhmm…diría que normal, como siempre –Respondió el de sudadera verde. -… ¿De verdad no sientes nada? –Tanteó Ichimatsu gateando por el suelo hasta ellos. -No, nada –Dijo Choromatsu mirándolos con la boca encorvada hacia abajo, sin estar del todo consciente de lo que sucedía en su espalda. -Sí, ya me lo creo. O tienes un tapón en la espalda o eres pésimo con las conexiones intra espirituales –Se burló Osomatsu. -¡¿Por qué dices eso?! –Inquirió Choromatsu entrecerrándole los ojos. -Porque con Jyushimatsu duró cinco segundos y contigo ni siquiera reacciona –Apuntó el de rojo con su dedo. -¡¿EH?! – -Es porque Megami-sama necesita mucha más energía que yo –Habló el ángel para llamar su atención –Él ha estado utilizando su propio poder todo este tiempo para viajar entre los universos y lograr defenderlos del demonio, a diferencia de éste quien se ayudó con la fuente energética –Explicó con actitud seria, improcedente de su naturaleza despistada y alegre –Megami-sama también estuvo entregándome su energía al mismo tiempo que trataba de renovar la suya –El ser de luz apretó los labios culpándose por la situación que estaba atravesando el Dios. -Por eso se los digo –Interrumpió Choromatsu con voz molesta –Si era más fácil de éste modo, ¿Por qué no habló antes? – -Megami-sama no podría pedirte algo como eso para él –Contestó el ángel desprendiéndose poco a poco del tacto contrario, puesto que éste ya podía sostenerse por sí mismo a pesar de que no se encontraba muy enfocado todavía –Supongo que ya les hemos pedido demasiadas cosas…- -Espera, ¿No se supone que todo esto es de vida o muerte? –Tanteó Todomatsu sintiendo que era otra de las contradicciones que había estado oyendo. Los mafiosos afinaron los sentidos otra vez, coincidiendo mentalmente con esa paradoja. -Volvemos a comenzar con eso de nuevo… -Murmuró el Karamatsu de camiseta con ademanes de levantarse. Si podía sonsacarle algo a ese ser tan misterioso entonces debía aprovecharse de lo débil que se encontraba para poder conseguir respuestas. El párroco estiró el brazo hacia él de forma súbita a pesar de que se encontraba a varios pasos de su contraparte. –Por favor, permanece en tu lugar –Musitó apretando los labios y los dientes, hincado, apretando el relicario entre sus manos con tanta fuerza que sus nudillos comenzaban a tornarse blanquecinos. El religioso había estado en silencio todo ese tiempo, grabándose lo que hacían sus divinidades ante su simple y mortal presencia, preguntándose qué clase de petición o acto podía hacer para que su Dios se recompusiera cuando éste mismo no lo podía oír. Su devoción estaba desesperándolo. “Todos somos iguales y diferentes de algún modo, porque a pesar que poseemos la misma esencia, seguimos siendo distintas personas”. La frase atravesó la mente de Choromatsu tan fugazmente que le iluminaron los pensamientos. Todo comenzó a tener más sentido para él. Sí, eran distintas personas, pero en el fondo seguían poseyendo la misma naturaleza.Supo creer que podría dialogar de mejor forma con su contraparte. -Lamento esto… -Farfulló Megami recomponiéndose poco a poco. La luz fluyó desde la punta de sus dedos hasta sus hombros, expandiéndose por todo su cuerpo hasta quedarse estancada en su propia aura, tal y como antes. Diminutas lucecitas fueron desprendiéndose de él, mucho más pequeñas que las de hace un rato, rodeándolo en un baile cálido y fluido. Las hojas de sus manos y las de su cabeza recobraron más verdor, brillando inundadas de un aparente rocío mañanero. La deidad sonrió cuando concibió su alma llena de vigor otra vez, enderezándose para alzar su frente como lo haría un ser celestial. -¿Ya está? –Consultó Choromatsu apenas sintió las manos ajenas separarse de su cuerpo. -Sí –Contestó con nuevo ánimo en su voz –Te lo agradezco, Choromatsu-kun – Choromatsu se volteó para mirarlo con reproche, frunciendo en entrecejo –No vuelvas a hacer eso –Soltó preguntándose si era buena idea enfrentar sus ojos con los contrarios, titubeando con el suelo, pero se decidió a confrontarlo – No vuelvas a pensar que puedes solucionar las cosas tú solo sin pedirle ayuda a los demás –Dijo decidido. Para él era difícil pedir ayuda, su propio ego se lo impedía, porque pensaba que él mismo era más que suficiente para solucionar lo que sea que se tenga que hacer. Y si no podía hacerlo, de todas formas no lo haría, muchísimo menos ante sus hermanos. Choromatsu descubrió que el Dios estaba tratando de solucionar las cosas por cuenta propia, sólo juntando las piezas que eran estrictamente necesarias para poder ejecutarlo. Supuso que inmiscuir a más personas ya de por sí había sido complicado para él, por lo que buscar más soluciones por medio de los demás ya no era una opción bajo ningún aspecto. Megami trataría de auto recuperarse sólo, a él y a su ángel, al menos mientras todavía estuviera en sus cabales. Lo supo porque la deidad abrió los ojos lo más que pudo. -¿No crees que es mi responsabilidad el hacerme cargo? –Inquirió Megami suavizando los ojos. -Sí, lo creo. Pero ya que estamos todos metidos en esto…no tienes por qué tomarlo tú solo, más aún si podemos hacer algo por ustedes –Dijo comenzando a colocarse nervioso. Le encantaba sonar como el que tenía la razón, pero también se incomodaba que estuviesen tantas personas escuchándolo. Megami sonrió cerrando los ojos – Gracias –Murmuró simplemente. -¡¡Huele muy bien!! – El grito ensordecedor provocó que todos dieran un respingo por lo sorpresivo que fue. Jyushiri apareció por el espacio que había quedado abierto del shoji, ingresando para olisquear la sala y relamerse los labios apenas comprobó que de cerca sí se olía mucho mejor. El resto de las “chicas” le siguieron de cerca, apareciendo por el pasillo hasta entrar a la sala. -¡Lo sabía, estaban cenando y ni siquiera nos invitaron! –Refunfuñó la chica mágica inflando las mejillas con indignación. -No, de hecho aún no comenzamos –Se defendió el Kitsune desde el rincón. Aburrido de muerte puesto que jamás le encendieron la prometida televisión. -¡Estábamos llenando la bañera antes de hacerlo! –Exclamó Jyushimatsu con una gran sonrisa. -¡Ah, entonces nosotras nos adelantaremos! –La chica mágica sonrió de forma malévola, sosteniendo en cada brazo a la monja y a la chica de amarillo. -¿Eh? N-no, yo… -Murmuró la monja. -¡No, oye, eso no- -¡Llámenos cuando la cena esté lista! –Exclamó ella interrumpiendo a Osomatsu, sacándole la lengua antes de retirarse de nuevo con ambas personas a cada lado, indicándole al niño que las siguiera y llevándose también a los animales. -¡Esa será una-¡ -Reclamó Osomatsu abriendo y cerrando las manos -¡Oye, Todomatsu! ¡Controla a ese demonio! –Le apuntó. -¡¿HA?! ¡No, no tengo por qué hacerlo! – -¡Si lo tienes! ¡Tiene tu cara y es rosa, así que sí tienes que hacerlo! –Insistió el mayor. -¡Esa no es una maldita razón! –Contestó el de sudadera rosa. -Bueno…podríamos tomar turnos –Interrumpió el Osomatsu de camiseta roja para volver al tema del baño. -Ohh tal vez podríamos espiarlas mientras se bañan –Recapacitó el mayor de los sextillizos cuando pensó en las ventajas que podría sacar de que las chicas se lavasen primero que ellos. Los demás hermanos abrieron los ojos ante la oportunidad, planteándose la posibilidad que estaba ante sus man0s. -…Te van a sacar los ojos –Advirtió Jade conteniendo su zona masculina. El Osomatsu de camiseta carcajeó maliciosamente, llevándose el dedo índice bajo la nariz. -¡Oye, si nos parecemos mucho después de todo! –Le dijo al de sudadera roja. -¡No, no, no, no! ¡No se atrevan! –Detuvo el párroco levantándose premuroso -¡No caigan ante las garras pecaminosas de la lujuria! ¡Más aún si una cierva del señor está entre ellas! –Persuadió con velocidad aproximándose hacia ellos en dos zancadas. -¡¡Pechos!! –Gritaron a coro los dos Jyushimatsu. -¡¿Se dan cuenta que tienen sus mismas condenadas caras?! –Explotó Yuki-onna mirando el frenesí colectivo que causaba espiar a tres mujeres que venían siendo ellos mismos. Nadie reparó en el hecho de que ellas, obviamente, habían dejado al yokai y al omega atrás. -No, no entiendes el concepto. La idea es sólo mirarlas del cuello hacia abajo –Explicó Osomatsu como si se tratase de un detallado plan secreto. Preparándose para salir a la misión que se había auto impuesto. -…les van a sacar los ojos y les van a cortar el cuello – ~ * ~* ~~ ~~ ~ * ~* ~~ La zona era completamente oscura. No había nada más que negro desde el cielo a la tierra, todo era una nada absoluta de la cual sólo se distinguía el suelo porque sus pies estaban sobre él. Tenía algunas protuberancias que apenas se distinguían, en las cuales se apoyaban de vez en cuando las seis personas que resaltaban unas entre otras. Todomatsu se sacudió su vestido para descender con lentitud, agitando el falso blanco bajo la tela rosa. -Qué aburrido es todo esto, ¿Cuándo nos iremos? –Inquirió mirando al demonio que estaba sobre él, flotando más arriba sin hacer nada en especial. -¿No te parece que es más divertido mantener las cosas con un poco de suspenso? –Comentó mirándolo con los ojos escarlatas encendidos. El Nekomata se volteó a mirarlo desde el suelo donde reposaba cómodamente -¿No será que hasta tú necesitas descansar? –Escudriñó sonriendo con burla. -Sólo estoy siendo considerado con ustedes, qué grosero. También tenemos humanos valiosos aquí, ¿Sabes? –Contestó sin borrar su expresión de autocomplacencia. Karamatsu y Jyushimatsu lo miraron cada uno desde donde se encontraban apoyados, alejados uno del otro. Los rostros que le dedicaron no reflejaron sentimiento alguno, analíticos con su alrededor. -Espero que sean de utilidad, al menos –Dijo en tono despectivo el Dodomeki desde el fondo. -¡Y para eso tenemos que comprobarlo! ¡Dime cuándo saldremos de aquí! –Insistió el Todomatsu de las velas. El demonio amasó con gentileza la mota de energía oscura que tenía frente a él, de negrura ondeante como diversos tipos de humaredas pintándola y del porte similar a un balón de soccer. Le enterró las garras haciéndola sangrar una materia negra y viscosa que se deslizó hasta su muñeca, procediendo a lamer con entusiasmo lo que sea que ésta haya expulsado. Osomatsu se alegró con los ojos más brillantes que nunca –Mañana –Anunció sonriendo –Comenzaremos mañana – * ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- * -¡No, no, no, no! ¡En la cara no! ¡En la cara no! –Chilló Osomatsu esquivando un batazo del báculo que iba directo a su cabeza. La casa se había vuelto un caos nuevamente. Los pasos de huida retumbaban con velocidad a medida que los seis pares de pies golpeaban el suelo de madera, algunos resbalándose camino al pasillo y otros dejándolos atrás. -¡Hahaha, nos descubrieron! –Gritó Jyushimatsu riéndose mientras corría. -¡Sí, ya nos dimos cuenta! –Contestó Choromatsu irritado de darse cuenta que de hecho, había sido una pésima decisión acompañarlos a espiar mujeres en el baño. -Ah, atraparon a Karamatsu –Dijo Osomatsu después de verlo caer detrás de él, justo cuando evitó el golpe que iba en su dirección. -¡Aaaahhh! –Aulló Karamatsu desde más atrás en un último auxilio. Ichimatsu exhaló exhausto, volteando a mirar su próximo destino puesto que lo más probable era que cayera en un par de pasos más. Ya habían dado unas cuantas vueltas al pasillo huyendo de ellas y ciertamente no podría seguir así por mucho más tiempo. -¡Esto es culpa de Osomatsu-niisan! –Clamó Todomatsu con lágrimas en los ojos de tanto correr. Él no había podido convencer a las chicas de que no tenía nada que ver, porque también lo encontraron con las manos en la masa. Bueno, tenía razón. Lo único que agradecía el mayor era que el primer golpe que infringieron las mujeres cuando los descubrieron fue a dar en el otro Osomatsu y no en él. -¡Baketsu-Catch-ustle! –Exclamó Jyushiri mientras estampaba una cubeta vacía en la cabeza de un Ichimatsu que caía al suelo rindiéndose. Todomatsu volteó sólo para asustarse con la silueta que iba a toda velocidad contra ellos -¡La monja, la monja viene hacia aquí! - Y no estaba precisamente de buen humor.Abrieron el shoji de la sala sólo para caer uno encima del otro, deslizándose por el tatami como gusanos acorralados. -¡Hey, no vengan para acá! –Los echó Yuki-onna. -¡Nos va a matar! – -¡Claro que lo hará! –Respondió Jade desde la mesa. -¡Hikari Heiwa! <<光平和>> -Exclamó con alegría el ángel estirando las manos apenas la monja entró en la habitación. Un vapor luminoso la hizo detenerse de golpe, bajando la navaja que traía alzada entre las manos. -… ¿Eh? –Masculló parpadeando varias veces mientras el enojo que la invadía se desvanecía como si fuese de mentira. -Ahh ~ Jyushimatsu nos salvó –Exhaló Osomatsu en satisfacción. -¿Eh? ¿Dónde está el padre? –Inquirió el Kitsune estirándose por el suelo al otro lado. -Jyushiri lo golpeó por accidente –Dijo la monja guardándose el arma blanca debajo del hábito negro. -¡Fue por culpa de ese idiota, si se hubiese quedado callado no nos habrían encontrado! –Refunfuñó Osomatsu. -¿Pueden callarse? La cena está lista –Habló el guardián mágico guiando los platillos flotantes hacia la mesita de centro. -¡Aquí están! –Chilló la chica mágica entrando por el shoji, lista para atacar a los hermanos que todavía seguían intactos. -¡Cállense y siéntense! –Gritó el guardián azotando un pie al suelo. -Todo-chan, no creo que debas- -¡Muéranse, pervertidos! –Gritó ella. -¡Espera! – Pum. La sala se llenó del humo gris que causó la explosión. ~ * ~* ~~ ~~ ~ * ~* ~~ -Choromatsu, ¿Me pasas la soya? –Pidió Osomatsu estirando el brazo. -Hum –Contestó en afirmación concediendo al pedido. La cena seguía en silencio. Todos permanecían apiñados al lado de la mesa tratando de conseguir el suficiente espacio para comer con algo más de libertad, fallando indudablemente. -¿Puedo curarlos ahora? –Tanteó el ángel sonriendo desde el rincón de la sala. Él, el Dios y los yokai estaban exentos de la comida puesto que no la necesitaban en absoluto. Excepto el Kitsune que trataba de meterse en el medio sólo para probar bocados de pura gula. -¡Sólo después de la cena! –Exclamó Jyushiri en una respuesta animada, repitiendo lo que habían estado diciendo las demás chicas. -…no creo que puedan aguantar hasta eso –Murmuró el Osomatsu de camiseta con un chichón en la frente. -Fo fiento fos frafros –Balbuceó Jyushimatsu con el rostro pegado al cuenco de arroz, hablando desde la comida. -¿Qué? –Pregunto Jade mirándolo desde el frente. -Dice que no siente los brazos –Aclaró el Alfa aparentemente más entendido con el dialecto extraño de su otro yo. Todomatsu removió su comida con los palillos sin poder ver bien qué era lo que atajaba entre ellos –Creo que no siento la cara –Farfulló moviéndose un párpado con la mano. -No puedo mover las piernas –Siguió Choromatsu mientras arrugaba la nariz, vaya que le dolía. -¡Aaaahh! ¡No puedo creer que tengamos que seguir siendo vírgenes todavía! –Lloriqueó Osomatsu golpeando la mesa en un berrinche. -¡Ah, no golpeen la mesa! –Reclamó el guardián mágico. -¡Esto es toda su culpa, ustedes se lo buscaron! –Debatió la pelirosada desde el otro lado bebiéndose el té. El Don soltó una risa que no pudo aguantar, escupiendo el té que también se había llevado a la boca -¿Son vírgenes? –Se burló. -Imposible –Soltó Jade en otra risa que no logró controlar. El mafioso de azul igualmente bufó en gracia –Patético –Murmuró sonriendo. Asimismo el Osomatsu de camiseta dejó de picotear su platillo para mirar a los sextillizos con una sonrisa burlona -¿Enserio? ¿Cuántos años tienen? – Los seis hermanos se encogieron como si les hubiesen tocado la vibra más vergonzosa que tenían sobre sus hombros. -¡¿Qué tiene?! Aún estamos a tiempo –Berreó Osomatsu apretando las cejas, revolviendo el guiso de carne para echarle más soya encima, como si con eso pudiese enviar su atención y su pena hacia otro lado. -¿Eh? ¿Eso es algo malo? Yo y mis hermanas también somos vírgenes –Comentó Jyushiri ladeando la cabeza. -…Con las chicas es diferente, Jyushiri-chan –Contestó Todomatsu cabizbajo. -¡Ah, me van a decir que ustedes serán los máximos exponentes del sexo! –Retó Osomatsu después de mirarlos mejor. -¿Quieres que te muestre mi lista de contactos? –Ofreció el Don mostrándole los dientes en una sonrisa pícara. -Las Fans pueden ser algo alocadas, ¿Sabes? –Se infló el pecho el peliverde, encontrando algo con qué alimentarse el ego. -Por favor, no hablen de eso. God is listening us –Pidió el Padre con el rostro tan rojo que parecía a punto de explotarle sobre el arroz como un tomate hervido. Megami movió la mano en el aire restándole importancia, no le interesaban mucho ese tipo de temas humanos. -Si es por eso, tú eres el rey de los vírgenes aquí –Murmuró la monja disfrutando el sabor de las verduras cocidas. -¡¿Eh, Shisutā?! –Respondió el párroco abriendo los ojos. -¡Pero eso es porque tiene una sotana, así no cuenta! –Se rio el Osomatsu de camiseta sin querer que el tema se fuera. -…qué hay de ellos –Musitó una voz ronca aplacada, como si estuviese hablando debajo de la tierra. Choromatsu giró para mirar la silueta diminuta de Ichimatsu al lado de él, con la cubeta metálica todavía cubriéndole la cabeza. Se la quitó de un solo manotazo, destapando el rostro incómodo del cuarto hijo que se sentía más bajo resguardo de esa forma. -¿Quiénes? –Preguntó el Karamatsu de camisa. El de sudadera morada estiró un dedo indicador, apuntando hacia el Alfa y el Omega que comían más bien en silencio. -¿Eh? ¿Nosotros? –Tanteó el Jyushimatsu Alfa apuntándose a sí mismo. Karamatsu y Jyushimatsu tragaron saliva mirándose entre ellos con espanto, negándole con la cabeza al cuarto hermano de que detuviera la pregunta antes de que fuera demasiado tarde. Ichimatsu se limpió la mejilla del arroz que le saltó cuando el quinto hijo se sacudió cerca de él. -Sólo he tenido sexo con Totty –Contestó el Alfa llevándose una manga a la boca mientras pensaba. El resto de los sextillizos se atragantaron tan fuerte que comenzaron a toser en sonidos alarmantes. -¡¿Qué rayos?! –Fue Todomatsu el primero en chillar. -¡No, no, no, ustedes se supone que son sextillizos igual que nosotros! ¡¿O no?! –Inquirió Choromatsu dejando sus palillos en la mesa de un solo golpe. -¿Eeehh? Pero si ya estoy marcado con él –Dijo descubriéndose parte del hombro con dificultad, estirando la tela hasta lo máximo que pudo, mostrando el apenas visible mordisco que tenía en la piel con forma de cicatriz. -¡No puedes tener sexo con tus hermanos! –Debatió Todomatsu exaltándose. -¡¿Eeehh?! ¿De verdad es tan malo, Karamatsu-niisan? –Preguntó el Alfa al Omega que estaba a punto de deslizarse bajo la mesa de tanto que se había empequeñecido. -¡No me digas que él también! –Soltó Osomatsu terminando de tragar lo que se había quedado a medio camino en su garganta. -¡¿T-tú también, other me?! –Balbuceó Karamatsu mirándolo como si tuviese una enorme araña en la cara. El Omega asintió lentamente, intercalando miradas asustadas con todos los presentes. -¡Karamatsu-niisan está marcado con Ichimatsu-niisan! –Contestó el Alfa con tanto ánimo que hacía contraste con el aturdimiento colectivo de los seis hermanos. Ichimatsu se atragantó con su propia saliva. -¿Por qué se asustan tanto? Sólo es sexo –Habló el Karamatsu de camisa azul. El Osomatsu de camiseta abrió los ojos con asombro -¿No me digas que tú también? – -Sí, claro –Contestó tranquilamente. Los seis hermanos miraron al mafioso como si estuviesen en una película de terror. -¡¿Están todos locos?! –Aulló Choromatsu. -¡Karamatsu, estás enfermo! –Le gritó el mayor de rojo al segundo. -¡¿Eh?! ¡¿Yo?! –Exclamó mirándolo con las cejas fruncidas. -… ¿De verdad hacen esas cosas entre ustedes? –Preguntó Jade al mafioso puesto que lo tenía más de cerca. -Sí, bueno…de vez en cuando, no siempre. Como les digo, sólo es sexo. También lo hacemos con mujeres –Respondió éste quitándole importancia. -¡¿Algún otro que se acueste con alguno de nosotros?! –Gritó Todomatsu. El Don de camisa púrpura alzó la mano con rostro neutro –Yo me acuesto con Karamatsu –Dijo terminando de comer. Ichimatsu se atragantó por tercera vez a pesar de que lo último ya lo sabía. Ah, no podía ser, tenía la suerte más asquerosa de todo el maldito planeta. No le entraba en la cabeza en qué clase de universo paralelo mal enfocado podría excitarse con Kusomatsu.Tal vez su alma basurienta sí podía infectar al resto que supuestamente venían de él. De todas formas, eso ya mutaba a un tipo de enfermedad que ni él mismo podría llegar ni en un millón de años luz. Así que le tiró la sopa tibia de verduras al culpable que de hecho no tenía la culpa de nada. -¡Aaah! ¡¿Por qué?! –Chilló Karamatsu apenas el líquido le entró por la herida abierta que tenía en la frente. -¡¿Hay alguien aquí a quien le gusten las mujeres?! –Gritó Osomatsu agrandando el escándalo. El Osomatsu de camiseta alzó la mano, mirando al niño comer tranquilamente para alzársela también con la otra que tenía libre. El resto de los hombres alzaron las manos también, inmersos en una discusión infantil que los hacía reír hasta irritar al grupo de sextillizos. -¡Gracias por la comida! –Llamó Jyushiri juntando las manos mientras se limpiaba la boca con la lengua. -Espero que el agua de la bañera siga caliente… -Dijo la pelirosada en una mueca insatisfecha. -Tomaremos turnos, ¿Verdad? –Habló el guardián. -¡¿De verdad lo toman tan a la ligera?! –Insistió Choromatsu. Sí que sería una muy larga noche. ~ * ~* ~~ ~~ ~ * ~* ~~ Hacía muy poca brisa, las hojas de los árboles no se movían para chocar unas contra otras; si no que tiritaban cada cierto rato producto de un suave soplido. El pasto verde seguía húmedo con el sereno de la mañana, dejando caer diminutas gotas en los bordes del sendero que aún no se secaba. -¡Aaah, por qué tuvimos que madrugar! –Berreó Osomatsu después de un bostezo que le lagrimeó los ojos. -¿Qué hacemos aquí tan temprano? –Inquirió Choromatsu mirando el parque como si no fuera la gran cosa, sintiendo cómo el bostezo se le pegaba al rostro para imitar al mayor. -¡Tengo mucho sueño! –Exclamó Jyushimatsu copiando el gesto somnoliento después de verlo. Su naturaleza vivaz y llena de energía siempre lo hacía despertarse de buen humor y con muchas ganas de empezar su nuevo día, no obstante esta vez sí se había levantado demasiado temprano como para que su cuerpo no le rindiera la cuenta. Karamatsu también bostezó con más ruido –Mhm…los rayos del nuevo día nos despertarán –Murmuró cabeceando. -Creo que no están funcionando –Dijo Todomatsu imitando por quinta vez la misma mueca aletargada. Ichimatsu bostezó por última vez en silencio, cerrando los ojos al hacerlo. -Lo lamento, teníamos que empezar el día lo antes posible –Dijo el Dios fresco como una lechuga. -¡Quiero una cama! –Pidió Jyushiri con rostro suplicante. -Los humanos duermen bastante, ¿Verdad? –Apuntó el Kitsune fijándose en el semblante cabizbajo de la mayoría, mirando cómo hasta el niño no había sido capaz de reaccionar a la mañana y seguía acunado sobre los brazos del Osomatsu más alto, sin que éste luciese en mejores condiciones. -¿Y ustedes no tienen algún truco para hacerse invisibles o algo por el estilo? –Escudriñó Osomatsu rascándose los ojos. -¿Eh, invisibles? –Dijo el Kitsune. -¿Por qué deberíamos hacernos invisibles? –Preguntó Yuki-onna mirándolo como si él fuese el fenómeno. Choromatsu dio vuelta la cara varias veces, percatándose de que sí había personas transitando a esa hora –Pues verán…son muy llamativos – -¿Llamativos? –Repitió el ángel moviendo las alas con curiosidad, incomodando a quienes tenía más cerca. -¡Sí, están llamando la atención de todo el mundo! –Aclaró Todomatsu sintiéndose observado desde hace un buen rato. Era cierto, la gente que aparecía para acortar camino hacia sus trabajos se les quedaba mirando incluso hasta cuando habían salido de su campo visual normal, volteándose para asegurarse de si era algún espectáculo callejero o algo como eso. Decir que parecían un grupo circense era poco. Lo único decente y destacable del grupo estrafalario que conformaban era que los seres que podían flotar o brillar se habían tomado la molestia de dejar de hacerlo mientras circulaban por la calle. No obstante, eso no quitaba que llamaran demasiado la atención. Megami hizo una mueca que no parecía reflejar molestia –Mhm…De verdad lo siento, pero no puedo borrar la memoria de todas esas personas –Murmuró fijándose también en la gente que los miraba desde lejos. -¡No, ni lo pienses! –Saltó Choromatsu -¡No sé qué diablos les hiciste a nuestros padres, pero todavía no despiertan! – -¡Como ya no estamos en casa, ellos despertarán en cualquier momento! –Exclamó el ángel parándose a su lado. -Volviendo al tema… ¿Qué estamos haciendo aquí? –Jade alzó la voz algo más repuesto. A veces las giras y los jaleos de rockeros podían durar tanto que los obligaban a permanecer despiertos por más tiempo y, por ende, dormir mucho menos. -Osomatsu hará contacto con nosotros –Dijo Megami –Su interés en este mundo está en conseguir la fuente de energía principal que está ligada a ustedes, así que los buscará. Eso nos facilita las cosas para poder encontrarnos con él –Se volteó para hablarles cuando se detuvieron, rozando sus pies descalzos con la gravilla del sendero por donde andaban. A pesar de que tenía los pies sobre el suelo, éstos no se ensuciaban, no se manchaban ni se mancillaban con las piedrecillas. El Alfa se llevó una de sus mangas cerca de la sonrisa que portaba a pesar del sueño -¿Qué haremos cuando él llegue? – -Entrar en combate –Respondió el Dios con mirada endurecida –Por favor, estén preparados – -¡Sí, Kami-sama! –Contestaron en una reverencia la monja y el párroco. Su efusividad sacaba un poco de contexto a los sextillizos. -Entonces… ¿Sólo tenemos que dar vueltas por acá? –Inquirió el Osomatsu de camiseta alzando un poco al niño para acomodarlo mejor y destensar sus brazos cansados. -Me temo que sí, pero estoy seguro de que aparecerá en cualquier momento –Contestó el Dios mirando los árboles. La naturaleza de ese sitio podía transmitirle sus diminutas partículas de poder que, aunque fueran muy leves, seguían siendo necesarias y podrían marcar cierta diferencia. -¿Vas a luchar en medio de un parque abierto a la vista y paciencia de un montón de personas? –Tanteó el Karamatsu de camisa azul, quien se había vuelto a acomodar el saco negro sobre ella. -No suena muy táctico que digamos –Habló el Don metiéndose ambas manos a los bolsillos. Podría considerarse estratégico si se trataba de matar a alguien a distancia, no obstante este caso distaba mucho de ser similar a eso. Esos seres sobrenaturales podrían causar mucho más impacto y destrucción que un simple intercambio de balas. -Prometo que esas personas no se verán afectadas, ni interferirán con nuestra misión. El terreno puede jugarnos a favor, así que es una carta que no pretendo desperdiciar –Dijo Megami sonriendo suavemente, dándose la vuelta para seguir con el paseo hacia ningún lugar. Choromatsu sintió un último escalofrío gélido recorrerle la espalda. No, no se trataba del frío natural de la mañana, ni de entes poderosos apareciéndosele por detrás, sino más bien de una urgencia que llevaba aguantando desde hacía un buen rato y que ya no podía contener más; la incomodidad en su vejiga apretada se lo anunciaba.Se apartó poco a poco para no ser notado, visualizando los baños públicos no muy lejos de su ubicación. -¿Mhm? ¿A dónde vas, Choromatsu? –Preguntó el hijo mayor. Maldita sea, siempre lo encontraba cuando no quería dar explicaciones. No sabía si lo hacía de casualidad o adrede, pero le molestaba esa suspicacia que tenía el mayor con cosas tan triviales y sin importancia que a él si le incomodaban. -Eh…por ahí –Dijo como la peor respuesta que pudo dar en toda su jodida vida. -¿Por ahí? –Repitió Osomatsu con sonrisa socarrona. Le estaba ocultando algo vergonzoso y él definitivamente se tenía que enterar de eso. -No creo que sea muy buena idea, burazza –Opinó Karamatsu engrosando la voz. -No te incumbe, sólo iré y volveré rápido –Despidió el tercer hermano. -¡Oh, quieres ir a mear! –Clamó el de sudadera roja mirándole la posición estreñida que llevaba el de verde. -¡Cállate! – -¿Te has estado aguantando? ¿Por qué? –Indagó el mayor con intenciones de resaltar el tema. No tenía mucho sentido, pero si había algo que Choromatsu quería que pasara desapercibido, entonces él se encargaría de ensalzarlas para molestarlo un poco. Después de todo, las cervezas no habían sido un pago suficiente. -¡No te importa, baja la voz! –Exigió haciéndole ademanes con las manos. Cosa inútil porque ya todos lo habían oído. -¿Pensabas ir solo? –Preguntó Yuki-onna volteándolo a ver. -No creo que sea muy buena idea separarnos –Comentó el párroco analizando la situación mientras se tocaba el mentón. -¡Ah, es por eso que no necesitaba decirlo! –Berreó Choromatsu dando saltitos imperceptibles. Osomatsu lo notó también -¿Por qué no lo sueltas aquí? – -¡Aaah, qué asco! –Gritó la pelirosada tapándose los ojos mientras zapateaba en el suelo con disgusto. -¡¿Estás enfermo?! –Chilló el de sudadera verde mirándolo con tangible rabia. -¿Quieres que te acompañen? –Examinó Jyushiri mirándolo con sonrisa inocente. -Eh, no, no soy una chica…-Respondió el tercer hijo. -Por eso mismo te digo que lo hagas aquí – -¡Osomatsu-niisan! –Le reclamó Todomatsu al mayor. -¡No estoy diciendo que lo haga aquí mismo! Hay arbustos aquí al lado –Se defendió señalando a las plantas. -¡No soy un exhibicionista, estúpido mayor! –Choromatsu ya estaba perdiendo la paciencia, y también la capacidad retentiva de su vejiga -¡Puedo ir sólo, los baños públicos están justo ahí! –Señaló apuntando con un dedo tembloroso. No esperó respuesta de nadie, simplemente se volteó para dirigirse en un poco disimulado trote hasta su objetivo. -¡Cuídate, que tengas buena descarga! ~ -Le escuchó gritar a Osomatsu antes de perderse entre los paneles que diferenciaban los géneros. -¡Ah, maldita sea! –Masculló entrando al baño vacío, colocándose con velocidad en uno de los urinarios que estaban ahí. Se bajó la cremallera como si esa fuera la última traba que le impedía cumplir con su misión, haciéndose espacio bajo la pretina de la ropa interior. Un suspiro de alivio abandonó sus labios sin poder contenerlo más tampoco, orinando todos los pesares que había estado reteniendo desde que entraron al parque. Choromatsu quedó unos segundos así, relajado de haber encontrado un urinario a tiempo. -¡Uh, uh! ¡Qué ya sale, que ya sale! –Avisó Osomatsu entrando por la puerta con rapidez, azotándola detrás de el con un solo movimiento rápido antes de alcanzar otro de los mingitorios de porcelana. -¿Osomatsu-niisan? –Soltó Choromatsu con extrañeza mientras se sacudía y se guardaba lo que tenía entre las piernas. Se acomodó la ropa, subiéndose la cremallera para accionar el pulsador de agua. Osomatsu por el contrario lo hizo al revés, comenzando por orinar luego de otro largo suspiro. -No sabes cuántas ganas tenía también –Dijo el mayor sonriendo con los ojos cerrados. El de sudadera verde levantó las cejas antes de aproximarse al lavabo y enjuagarse las manos -¿Enserio? No fue eso lo que dijiste recién –Indicó suspicaz. -Sí, bueno…también me daba algo de pena admitirlo –Confesó sin dejar de hacer la misma expresión satisfecha. Choromatsu lo miró receloso –Podrías haberlo hecho ahí en los arbustos si tenías tanta prisa –Habló avanzando lentamente, pegándose a la porcelana fría del objeto rectangular de pared. -¿Eh? ¿Qué estás diciendo? ¿Qué clase de inadaptado crees que soy? –Contestó riéndose aún escondido entre el urinario. -No lo sé, ¿Por qué no has orinado todavía, Osomatsu? –Examinó dándose cuenta que el ruido del agua correr le había impedido poner más atención a ese detalle. Osomatsu no se había retirado el miembro de la ropa interior a pesar de que tenía los botones desabrochados del pantalón. -Ya lo hice, no te has dado cuenta. Tenía prisa ¿Sabes? –Habló mirándolo desde su posición. -¿Y no vas a decirme nada? – -¿Qué quieres que te diga, Choromatsu-kun? –Dijo seriamente. -¿No vas a hacer un berrinche por no haber utilizado honoríficos en tu nombre? –Indagó Choromatsu apretando los dedos. El de sudadera roja sonrió cerrando los ojos otra vez. -Mi estúpido hermano mayor jamás me hablaría así si no es para burlarse de mí. Y sería el primero en exigir el baño antes de que incluso pueda llegar a él –Dijo el tercer hijo afinando los ojos -¿Quién eres? – Osomatsu se rascó la nuca sin mirarlo todavía –Aah…qué mala suerte, sí puedes llegar a ser un dolor en el culo como el idiota de Megami –Murmuró haciendo una mueca. -T-tú no eres Osomatsu-niisan…-Musitó Choromatsu con la cobardía recorriéndole el cuerpo en largas revoluciones. -Sí, sí, ya dijiste eso –Comentó el de sudadera roja abrochándose el pantalón –No creo que sea necesario presentarme porque…tú ya debes saber muy bien quién soy – Giró el rostro para mirarlo con los ojos rojos más brillantes de lo que jamás podría haber visto en una película mal montada de terror. Eran espeluznantes, filosos, hambrientos de algo. Choromatsu comenzó a quejarse en voz baja, retrocediendo hasta caer de trasero al suelo. El de sudadera roja se elevó cerca de un metro sobre sus propios pies, sonriéndole con malicia desde ahí. -Es una pena –Dijo chasqueando los dedos para convertir su sudadera en un traje color azul claro, transformándose en lo que realmente era –Incluso iba a tener misericordia de ti, pasando un rato con tu hermano mayor antes de morir sin darte cuenta –Admitió aleteando en dos ráfagas. Las pupilas de Choromatsu se dilataron apenas miró la luz roja que se concentraba en la mano del demonio, apuntándola hacia él. El aura a su alrededor se expandió una sola vez en una onda que distorsionó el ambiente para volver a dejarlo como estaba, movimiento necesario para liberar todo su poder. -Hasta nunca, Choromatsu-kun ~ - ~ * ~* ~~ ~~ ~ * ~* ~~ -… ¿Crees que también quería cagar? –Le preguntó Osomatsu al cuarto hermano. -…Probablemente –Contestó el de morado sonriéndole de vuelta. No era como si fuesen unos expertos en la materia, pero sí podían calcular cuánto es que se tardaba uno de ellos en el inodoro, por disparatado que suene. Y a decir verdad, como cualquier hombre, no era mucho. -¿Pueden dejar de hablar esas cosas? –Reclamó Todomatsu mirándolos con mueca disgustada. El Osomatsu de camiseta rio ante la cochinada que estaban hablando, dejando en el suelo con mucho cuidado al niño que había estado trayendo entre los brazos. Éste había comenzado a removerse incómodo, denotando que ya estaba más despierto que antes.El infante, adormilado como estaba, se fijó en algo que le llamó repentinamente la atención. Por otro lado, algo más sucedió. Megami abrió los ojos lo más que pudo, abriendo los brazos entre una luminiscencia que lo rodeó de inmediato. -¡Jyushimatsu! –Gritó imponente, con fervor rabioso en la voz. La luz se desvaneció tan rápido como llegó, llevándose consigo al Dios que desapareció ante la mirada pasmada de todos. El ángel también iluminó su aura casi una fracción de segundo después que el de su Dios. Se elevó influenciado por el poder que él mismo desató, mirando a las personas que estaban ahí con él.El Kitsune movió las orejas al mismo tiempo en que todo el caos se desató, encogiendo las pupilas hasta sólo dejar una fina línea horizontal que atravesaba todo su iris. Se movió ágil como un animal de caza persiguiendo a su presa, avanzando en sagaces zancadas hacia los baños públicos. -¡O-oye! –Fue Yuki-onna el primero en atinar a decirle algo. No obstante, percibió en ese instante la potente aura maligna que apareció casi en sus narices. -¡¿Qué está pasando?! –Soltó el peliverde con dificultad. -¡Es el demonio! –Contestó el ángel casi encima de la pregunta, demostrando lo imperante que era actuar con rapidez -¡Quienes puedan exorcizar y utilizar magia protejan a los demás! ¡Quédense aquí! –Ordenó esfumándose en un súbito resplandor, dejando una estela brillante a su ida. La monja se retiró las pistolas que tenía atadas bajo el hábito, el párroco abrió su biblia justo a la mitad en posición expectante, los mafiosos sacaron las armas y el guardián mágico preparó su libro de hechizos; golpeando con convicción la enorme llave contra el suelo.La chica mágica alzó los brazos para invocar el báculo que apareció entre sus manos, colocándolo a la defensiva. El panda rojo y el conejo se erizaron con vista hacia el origen del malestar colectivo, gruñendo en imperceptibles sonidos. Yuki-onna se sacó las manos de entre las mangas del shiromoku, irguiéndose para poner más atención a su alrededor. El Alfa se alzó para mostrar los colmillos hacia el aura hostil que alcanzaba a percibir, borrando esa expresión afable que había estado trayendo hasta el momento al tiempo que escondía al Omega detrás de él. El instinto preponderó otra vez, el Omega sintió el inminente peligro que se presentaba no muy lejos de él, declinando por aferrarse a la espalda protectora con las débiles garras hacia afuera. Y el resto…el resto no supo qué diablos hacer. Sólo eran simples y mortales humanos, sin armas ni sentidos subdesarrollados, tristes y pobres seres humanos. Miraban a todo el mundo como si estuviesen locos, sin poder procesar del todo cómo fue que el ambiente cambió a esa sensación de alerta. -¡Choromatsu-niisan está allá! –Fue Jyushimatsu el primero en apuntar ese detalle, señalando hacia los mentados baños públicos. -¡Ah, ese estúpido de Shikomatsu! –Masculló Osomatsu observando hacia donde le señalaban. Había tenido razón, hubiera sido mucho más fácil si Choromatsu sólo hubiese aceptado en sacar su miserable virilidad entre el montón de plantas que había cerca de ellos. -¡De-debemos ayudarlo! –Exclamó Karamatsu sin mover ni un solo centímetro las piernas. -Entonces ve hacia allá, Kusomatsu –Habló Ichimatsu empujándole la espalda. -¡¿Eh?! – -¡Ve tú primero, Karamatsu-niisan! –Incentivó Todomatsu detrás de Ichimatsu. Si había que mandar a un sujeto de prueba para comprobar la situación, ese era definitivamente el segundo hermano. -¡¿Eh, por qué yo?! –Soltó éste en respuesta –Ehem…Digo, deberíamos ir todos como el grupo unido que somos, burazzas. Our burazza podría estar necesitándonos –Rectificó aclarándose la garganta. -¡No, tienes que ir tú, es tu deber como hermano mayor! –Insistió el de rosa mientras Ichimatsu seguía empujándolo desde atrás. -¡Así es! –Animó Osomatsu. -¡¿Por qué no vas tu entonces, Osomatsu?! –Contestó Karamatsu anclándose al suelo, arrastrando los zapatos cada vez que lo jaloneaban. -¡¿Qué?! ¡No! ¿Quién cuidaría de los demás entonces? –Respondió el mayor. -¡En ese caso tendría que ser yo! –Exclamó reticente de avanzar todavía. -¡Por eso mismo, tienes que ir a ver qué pasa! –Debatió el Matsuno de rojo. -¡Entendiste todo mal! –Chilló el de azul en contraataque. -¡Karamatsu-niisan salvará a Choromatsu-niisan! –Gritó Jyushimatsu acercándose a él con una sonrisa, decidido a lanzarlo hasta allá. -¡¿Eh, Little Jyushimatsu?! – -¡No! ¡Ninguno de nosotros se moverá de aquí! –Demandó el guardián de verde mirándolos con desaprobación. Lo que menos tenían que hacer los sextillizos era ponerse a gritar como desquiciados. Karamatsu le agradeció internamente apenas sintió que Ichimatsu dejaba de empujarlo ante la orden y Jyushimatsu relajaba sus revoluciones. El Osomatsu de camiseta roja miró con atención la discusión infantil que siempre salía a palestra entre los hermanos, ignorando por fracción de segundo la presencia del niño que ya no le agarraba de la mano. Éste más bien se había interesado en otra cosa, dándole deseos de ir hasta ella. ~ * ~* ~~ ~~ ~ * ~* ~~ Choromatsu pudo jurar que se le quemaron las cejas; o al menos le churruscaron demasiado las pestañas. Sea cual sea el caso, el calor abismal que sintió en el rostro habría rostizado su piel un milisegundo después si es que esa luz resplandeciente no se hubiese intercedido en el camino. Megami apareció por arte de magia frente a él, enviando las llamaradas hacia los costados de su propia aura. El fuego chocó contra las baldosas blancas, tan incandescentes que ennegrecieron la porcelana hasta extinguirse por completo contra ellas. -¡Ah, maldita sea! –Vociferó el demonio en una maldición hacia el cielo, rodando los ojos en medio de una frustración que expresó muy claramente con las manos apretadas. El Dios no esperó ni un instante más, el haz de luz que salió de sus manos iba directo a parar en el cuerpo del ser demoníaco, enviando largas y vivaces lianas verdosas consigo.Su némesis arremetió el ataque con una sola de sus manos, batiendo el brazo derecho frente a él para chamuscar las plantas que se enroscaron delirantes cerca de su persona. -¡Por qué diablos tienes que molestar una y otra, y otra, y otra vez! –Berreó encendiendo aún más sus ojos. Choromatsu no lo podía ver desde su posición, pero los ojos de Megami también brillaron en un verde profundo.Una línea recta atravesó el lugar de un solo sopetón, destruyendo parte de la fábrica celeste que conformaba el traje del demonio, sorprendiéndolo a tal grado de retirarse hacia atrás antes de que siguiera perforándole la carne del abdomen.Se quejó con un gruñido enojado, rearmando rápidamente el tejido sangrante que le habían arrancado. Miró por el rabillo de sus ojos el origen del ataque; a la derecha al cual se hallaba Megami, encontrándose con un par de inmensas alas estiradas al aire, desprendiendo parte de su plumaje por lo rápido del movimiento. El dorado de las ropas del ángel se intensificó con el voltaje que iluminaron sus ojos. Tanta luz y blancura lo cegaron hasta querer encender todo en llamas para quemarlo por completo. Apenas el demonio sintió la puerta destrozándose detrás de él, fue cuando chasqueó los dedos con la fuerza de su ansia contenida, envolviéndose a sí mismo en un potente remolino ardiente capaz de neutralizar el fuego fatuo que llegó para impactarse contra él. Y, simplemente, desapareció. -Se escapó…-Susurró el Kitsune luego de dar el primer paso hasta el baño de hombres. Choromatsu miró las partes destruidas de la puerta repartirse por el suelo, en piezas que parecían haber sido destrozadas por una mole. No tenía otra cosa en qué más enfocarse, eso era lo más remoto y normal que podía procesar su cerebro en ese instante. Había algo mal en todo eso, sus córneas adoloridas y ardorosas se lo confesaban; porque decidió hace unos momentos mirar el rostro conocido del demonio antes de que éste se esfumara frente a ellos. Pese a que los planes le habían salido mal desde cualquier aspecto, tenía algo que iba en contra de sus propias gesticulaciones frustradas por la derrota.Él seguía sonriendo. -¿Estás bien, Choromatsu-kun? –Le preguntó Megami inclinándose cerca de él, extendiéndole una mano amigable que pretendía despejar ese miedo que todavía lo desbordaba. -Ah, sí…-Respondió como un autómata, parpadeando estupefacto. Algo andaba muy mal. ~ * ~* ~~ ~~ ~ * ~* ~~ El pequeño Ichimatsu abrió la boca sólo un poco, aclarándose la vista con ayuda de sus diminutas manitas. Caminó de forma silenciosa, tal y como siempre lo hacía, distanciándose poco a poco de su hermano mayor y de toda esa gente que no le podía prestar atención. No entendía un comino de lo que sucedía a su alrededor, sólo tenía claro una cosa: Perseguir aquello que lo había estado mirado desde el principio.Chocó con los hermosos ojos felinos que lo observaban desde la otra acera, esperándolo sentado en la típica silueta gatuna que tanto conocía y se sabía de memoria, al borde del inicio de un concurrido callejón. La negrura de su pelaje pulcro y reluciente lo incentivaron a no quitarle la vista de encima, alejándose cada vez más del grupo con en el que estaba. Tampoco se dio cuenta cuando sus pasos torpes se convirtieron en una corrida apresurada por llegar hasta su destino, coordinando sus pies para no tropezarse sobre el cemento que anunciaba el borde de la solera.Volteó el rostro hacia ambos lados antes de cruzar, comprobando que no viniese ningún vehículo tal y como sus hermanos se lo habían enseñado. -¿Ichimatsu? –Se pasmó el mayor apenas se dio cuenta que el niño no estaba donde debería permanecer. Se giró sobre su eje un par de veces, buscando con desesperación el pequeño cuerpecito que solía escabullirse a sus espaldas cuando se distraía por un par de segundos. El pre-infarto que sufrió apenas lo visualizó cruzando la calle solo le hizo mover las piernas tan rápido como pudo -¡Ichimatsu! – El infante no se detuvo aún y cuando había logrado apoyarse contra las paredes de la calleja, buscando al felino que se había movido de su posición para avanzar entre ella con lentos vaivenes. El maullido que recibió el menor fue suficiente invitación para hacerlo ingresar entre las anchas paredes, encontrándose de frente con el gato negro que había estado buscando.Sonrió feliz de tenerlo cerca, acercándose con parsimonia para acariciarlo. Algo lo detuvo, pero no lo impresionó, sino más bien lo maravilló. Los ojos profundos y expectantes del gato no le quitaron la vista de encima, moviendo la cola detrás del él para bifurcarla en dos fracciones ondeantes de pelaje. Jamás había visto un gato de dos colas, ni ninguno tan majestuoso como el que tenía enfrente. -¡Ichimatsu! –Oyó la voz de su hermano no muy lejos de él. Se acercó otra vez decidido a tocarlo, no obstante, el animal comenzó a expeler cenizas oscuras. Se expandió hacia todos los lados, mutando en una forma que se levantó poco a poco, irguiéndose apenas de la posición inclinada que traía. El pelaje negro sólo se estancó en una cabellera demasiado familiar para él, deformando todo lo demás en partes humanas. Un hombre lo terminó mirando en vez del gato que en un inicio había seguido, provocándole retroceder por la impresión.La yukata púrpura se agitó cuando lo atrapó entre sus ropajes. El sujeto lo detuvo entre los brazos prohibiéndole escapar, abrazándolo contra sí en un intento de que no se moviera. -¡Ichimatsu! –Gritó de nuevo el Osomatsu de camiseta apenas apareció en las entrecalles. Sus ojos se abrieron más de lo que pudieron apenas encontró al menor en brazos de un ser desconocido, con el mismo rostro del niño, mientras lo sostenía desde el abdomen. El aura oscura detrás del hombre se incrementó todavía más de lo que lo había estado haciendo, atrayéndolo hasta sí misma, con la neblina negra comenzando a comérselo desde la espalda. -¡Ichimatsu! –Llamó el mayor avanzando hasta ellos. Una bola de luz verdosa viajó a su costado, impactándose contra el portal que no se resintió ante el ataque, si no que más bien lo absorbió hasta hacerlo desaparecer. El de púrpura se tiró hacia atrás como si fuese a caer a la nada misma, dejándose tragar por el vórtice negro que con rapidez le ocultó el cuerpo. -Oniichan –Lloró el niño ante la cara aterrada del mayor, dándose cuenta que no podía pasar nada bueno si él lo miraba de esa forma. La oscuridad los consumió a ambos, justo antes de recibir una ráfaga fría de hielo que no logró impactarla. Cualquier entidad había desaparecido, y con ello, el infante que tenía entre los brazos.Ya no quedaba ninguno de los dos. Se esfumaron en el aire. El Nekomata se había llevado al pequeño Ichimatsu. * 光平和 [Hikari Heiwa]: Literalmente “Luz paz”, o “Luz de paz” Baketsu-Catch-ustle: Juego de palabras "Bucket" (cubeta) "Catch" (Atrapar) ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- * La casa estaba silenciosa. A pesar de que todos habían regresado al hogar Matsuno el ambiente seguía con ese velo abatido que venía después de un evento desafortunado. Nadie decía nada, ni siquiera murmuraban, tampoco se preguntaban entre los hermanos cómo era que Matsuyo seguía en un estado de trance a pesar de que la hechizaron ayer.Su madre caminaba entre el tumulto de gente que se había aglomerado en la sala como si no existiesen, ignorándolos aún y cuando chocaba miradas cansadas con ellos. Ninguno se preguntó mentalmente si su padre se había ido así al trabajo o logró volver en sí antes de eso. De todas formas, la situación era muy mala como para pensar en otra cosa. Megami se había acomedido el centro de la habitación otra vez, adoptando una pose inclinada sobre sí mismo, descansando el cuerpo sobre sus piernas flexionadas. Tenía los ojos cerrados, como si estuviese durmiendo, aunque más bien parecía meditar en algo. Las luces lo rodeaban con mayor intensidad, subiendo y bajando en intercalados vaivenes hacia el techo, demostrando que seguía manteniendo su poder energético.El ángel lo seguía a su lado en la misma posición, con las alas plegadas contra la espalda como si estuviese castigado a pesar de que no lo estaba. Se dispusieron a concentrar todo su poder en lograr contactar con el paradero del demonio, lugar donde seguramente se encontrarían sus demás aliados en un sitio intangible. Espacio donde de seguro estaría el Ichimatsu pequeño. No sólo había sido un error garrafal, si no que se dejaron embaucar por las artimañas de ellos. Ese humano era un niño, inocente, débil e inseguro. Frágil.No podían dejar pasar ni un minuto de sobra, tenían que encontrarlo lo antes posible. No importaba si esa otra de las trampas del demonio, tendrían que llegar a él a toda costa. -¿Dónde está el otro Osomatsu? –Consultó Yuki-onna al Osomatsu de sudadera. El sextillizo mayor hizo una pausa, algo metido en sus pensamientos antes de responder –Está arriba en nuestra habitación – -¿No crees que no es bueno dejarlo solo? –Inquirió Jade desde cerca. -…creo que es lo mejor por ahora –Dijo Osomatsu mirándolo. Por el momento, lo que más necesitaba el otro mayor, era en definitiva espacio para poder pensar con claridad. La frustración que tenía en esos instantes era tan grande que podría terminar por desquitarse con quien menos se lo merece, así que Osomatsu esperaría antes de devolverle la mano. -Supongo que debe serlo –Respondió el Kitsune encogido contra la pared. Las horas transcurrieron unas con otras, y con ello los movimientos de cada uno por la casa. El almuerzo se mantuvo también en silencio, reduciendo las porciones; porque si bien Matsuyo solía hacer un montón de comida para el tropel de hijos que tenía, aun así no era suficiente para la cantidad estrambótica de nuevos huéspedes que tenía. Tampoco nadie se atrevía a decirle nada, porque lucía como muerta en vida. Ni siquiera pretendieron preguntarle a Megami cómo era que funcionaba su hechizo, ni a incentivar al guardián para que hiciera algo al respecto. El Osomatsu de camiseta fue el único que no bajó a comer.Vieran el rostro que vieran sólo podían encontrar consternación en ellos. -¿Qué haces? –Inquirió el Don mientras miraba a la monja aferrarse en su relicario, orando en solitario. Se habían repartido entre ellos para esperar nuevas noticias sobre cómo hallar el paradero del Nekomata, aprovechando de descansar sus cuerpos estresados. -Estoy rezando por el niño –Contestó ella medio abriendo los ojos para observarlo de vuelta. -¿No crees que es bastante inútil? –Le dijo apuntando su concentración hacia el Dios que seguía sin dar respuestas de nada –Se supone que tu Dios está ahí frente a ti – -Mi señor es todopoderoso –Murmuró besando la cruz como un salvavidas de esperanza, abrazándolo entre sus manos –Él sabrá escucharme, él entenderá nuestro apoyo – -Todos ustedes quienes dejan sus decisiones en manos de sus Dioses me dan lástima –Comentó el Ichimatsu de traje sin dejar de mirarle el hábito sedoso –Están tan asustados de lo que pueda pasarles que no siguen avanzando – La religiosa lo miró con ojos agudos –Me está hablando el pecador más despreciable que he visto hasta ahora –Dijo en voz calmada. El Don le sonrió con sorna –Lo dice la monja que trae más armas que yo bajo su vestido. ¿No debería amenizar sus palabras, bella donna? – -No hace falta cuando hay que hablar con moscardones como tú, Don-san –Le dijo devolviendo la sonrisa afilada que recibió. -Auch, che fa male, buona sorella –Se quejó con fingido dolor, acercándose como si estuviera olisqueando un muy buen aroma. La hermana plantó con descaro una de sus manos sobre una pierna masculina, inclinándose para susurrarle más de cerca –Tendrás que hacer un mejor esfuerzo para ganarte el cielo, Don-san –Tentó arrastrando las palabras. El mafioso de camisa púrpura la miró saboreándose los labios de forma hambrienta –Que Dios me ayude entonces para entrar –Farfulló acariciando el hombro ajeno que tenía a su lado. Ichimatsu los miró sudando frío. -Eh… ¿Podrían…dejar de hablar sobre mí, por favor? –Pidió éste en voz baja, sintiendo a la monja sobre su izquierda y al de traje desde su derecha. La monja soltó una risa que no le hizo relajar para nada –Lo siento, lo siento, Ichimatsu-san –Se disculpó regresando a su posición. Al Don no le interesó en lo más mínimo la interrupción, apoyando uno de sus codos sobre el pecho del cuarto sextillizo –No te vayas, bella sorella. Eres la monja más coqueta que he conocido – -Cállate, escoria –Respondió ésta en un súbito cambio de ánimo. Parecía haber regresado a su estado normal –Y deja de hablarme como cualquier mujer – -Ah, ¿No eres cualquier mujer? –Inquirió el de traje. -Puede que ni siquiera me acerque a eso –Contestó ella. Ichimatsu mal entendió el comentario y soltó una pregunta que quizás debería haberse guardado -¿No eres mujer? –Tanteó mirándola con ojos abiertos. La religiosa le sonrió sin traerle la paz que buscaba. El Don también abrió sus ojos tanto que sus escazas cejas se arquearon. La monja los miró a ambos con rostro neutro, levantándose del suelo para observarlos desde arriba -¿Quieren descubrirlo? –Inquirió arremangándose el vestido. - ¡¿SHISUTĀ?! –Gritó el párroco corriendo en cortas zancadas hasta ella, sujetándole la muñeca para que se detuviera - ¡Shisutā-san, eso no es lo que hace una mujer de Dios! –Advirtió al borde de un ataque. -… ¿No puedo? –Tanteó ella. -¡No! –Exclamó éste llevándosela de ahí. Ambos Ichimatsu chasquearon la lengua con decepción enojada. -Tsk, maldito Kusomatsu –Reclamó Ichimatsu en voz baja, observando cómo el párroco le recitaba sabe Dios qué cosa cerca de las otras personas de azul -… ¿Y tú no estabas enamorado de alguien más?... Digo, ¡Digo! ¡Usted, usted! –Preguntó alarmándose de su error, recibiendo una ojeada de advertencia. -Qué puedo decir –Habló jugueteando con el sobrero que tenía entre los dedos –Ese tipo de damas apasionadas me hacen caer en la tentación –Admitió apoyándose contra la pared –Pero…si es mujer, no cuenta entonces. Aunque ahora tengo mis dudas – -Ah…-Balbuceó Ichimatsu en una exhalación ronca -¿No le es posible quedarse con lo que ya tiene? –Consultó con hombros cohibidos. -¿Hablas de mio gattina? –Regresó dejando de mirarlo, en parte para no seguir encogiéndolo más con la severa mirada que al parecer le proyectaba al menor –Él ya está en otro nivel para mí. Nada ni nadie va a poder cambiar lo que siento aquí –Dijo tocándose el pecho –Pero hira-san es cosa difícil – -¿Hira-san? – -Mio gattina. Así le digo también –Aclaró flexionando una pierna. -¿Por qué es cosa difícil? –Exprimió Ichimatsu soltando parte de su tensión ramificada. El Don se quedó pensando un momento en la respuesta -¿Por qué? A veces siento…que no soy la clase de hombre que él desea en su vida –Reveló sin voltear a mirarlo. Ichimatsu logró relajar sus párpados para regresar a su misma expresión de siempre, atreviéndose a observar cómo esquivaba su mirada -¿Qué le hace pensar eso? – -¡Ah! Te regresó la lengua el ratón –Se burló el mafioso riéndose, no obstante enfocado en otra cosa –No le he escuchado jamás decirme si me quiere o no, a no ser que sea durante el sexo –Dijo tragando pesadamente. El cuarto hijo flexionó sus piernas de nuevo, sintiéndose de manera extraña al hablar tan distendido con alguien a quien todavía le temía. Sin embargo, aun así, creyó saber la respuesta para entregarle su consejo aunque ni el mismo supiera que se trataba de uno –Tal vez Hira-san sólo no sabe expresar sus sentimientos…A lo mejor, para él no es cosa fácil hablar de lo que siente a diferencia tuya –Dijo atreviéndose a tutearlo, más bien olvidándose de los honoríficos porque estaba tan nervioso que todavía trastrabillaba en las palabras –Puede que…sólo tengas que hablarle de una forma en la que él se sienta tranquilo…una de la que no sienta que estás jugando con él –Dijo mirándolo. El Don abrió los párpados con asombro, deteniéndose a mirarlo de vuelta -¿Eso…crees? –Inquirió de manera pausada. Ichimatsu asintió con cautela, regresando sus ojos al suelo de la sala –S-sólo…sólo creo eso, no es que sea así. L-lo digo porque…yo tampoco soy bueno con eso –Aceptó comenzando a sentir cómo el sudor le acaloraba el rostro. -¿Sabes? Puede que tengas razón, sorete –Soltó el Don en medio de una exhalación, apoyando una de sus manos en el hombro del cuarto hermano – Gracias – Ichimatsu sonrió suspirando en alivio de que no lo golpeara. No tenía idea que sus palabras podrían calar tanto en la futura forma de pensar del Don de mafia. ~ * ~* ~~ ~~ ~ * ~* ~~ -¡Los hombres no deben ver esas zonas! –Seguía remedando el padre a la hermana quien poco o nada le escuchaba. -¿Hasta cuándo va a seguir diciendo lo mismo? Ya entendí, ya entendí –Contestó la religiosa. Y no le decía nada más porque se trataba de alguien con valores, no una monja de boca suelta que respondía palabrotas delante de otro grupo de personas…aunque de verdad fuera capaz. El párroco se aclaró la garganta avergonzado, cerrando los ojos para no seguir pensando en cosas sucias -…Cuento con usted –Murmuró vislumbrando cómo lo ignoraban para girarse hacia otra dirección frente a sus narices –E-espere ¡ Shisutā-san! – Karamatsu y el Omega siguieron al par con la mirada hasta que salieron de la sala, sintiéndose extrañamente familiarizados con la poca atención que le colocaban al siervo de Dios. -No entiendo para qué el idiota la sigue –Habló el mafioso de azul llamando la atención de los dos de sudadera. -Heh –Espetó Karamatsu –El deber de un auténtico caballero –Dijo frotándose la barbilla. -¿L-lo es? –Inquirió el Omega desde el otro lado. -No, no lo es –Afirmó el de camisa. -¿Lo será? –Apuntó Karamatsu con una pose de dedos que le hizo escocer los ojos al otro mayor. -Me estás enfermando –Le advirtió. -Non, non, non, my friend. Son retóricas que nos harán pensar with the heart– -…creo que no estoy entendiendo –Musitó el Omega. -Sólo está mezclando estupide--¡Eso es! –Gritó Karamatsu levantando el brazo, asustando al otro de sudadera –Con que de eso se trata, del entendimiento moral… -Analizó con una sonrisa. -¿Cuánto es el promedio de puñetazos que te llegan en el día? –Preguntó el Karamatsu de camiseta frotándose los nudillos con cizaña. -Ahh –Soltó el Omega comenzando a ponerse nervioso. El aroma del mafioso había cambiado y ahora sí estaba decidido en utilizar la fuerza para acallar al parlanchín sextillizo. -¡Karamatsu-niisan! –Llamó una mancha amarilla situándose frente a ellos. -¿Eh? –Dijeron los tres al unísono. Se observaron las caras algo confundidos, todavía no muy acostumbrados a tener varios de ellos con su mismo nombre y no sólo con su rostro. -¡Niisan! –Repitió el Alfa enfatizando a quien se refería con la mirada -¡Vamos a cantar al tejado! –Invitó con las pupilas dilatadas. -¿Eh? ¿Al tejado? –Inquirió el Omega pestañeando varias veces. Si bien solía cantar con su hermano en su casa, eso no sucedía cuando comenzaba con los síntomas pre-celo. Y oh, eso no era una buena idea en esos momentos. El Alfa olisqueó en el aire sin ser tan enfático al hacerlo, sujetando el brazo de su hermano mayor con posesión de rectificar su insistencia en otra cosa -¡Entonces vamos a la entrada a jugar! – -Jyushimatsu, no creo que sea una bue- -Hey, lo estás incomodando –Intervino el mafioso mirándolos de manera suspicaz. Pero el Alfa olió el ambiente cambiar otra vez. Y con las imperceptibles feromonas de Omega haciéndole cosquillas en la nariz decidió que era necesario arrugar el entrecejo y apretar el agarre al mayor.El Jyushimatsu Alfa le gruñó al Karamatsu de camisa azul, advirtiéndole con los dientes que no se metiera en sus asuntos. Éste abrió los ojos ante una reacción que jamás había recibido en su vida por parte de un humano, sino más bien propio de un animal. -¡Vamos a jugar! –Saltó de su puesto el Omega para apegarse contra él –Hey, Jyushimatsu –Le llamó de manera suave, acercándole el reverso de su muñeca para que pudiese comprobar su aroma –Estoy aquí, no hay problema –Aseguró arrastrándolo poco a poco. Y al parecer funcionó la táctica, puesto que el Alfa le sonrió al verificar que, efectivamente, no había problema alguno. -¿Qué…fue eso? –Preguntó Karamatsu al aire apenas les vio abandonar la habitación. -No…no me preguntes –Atajó en respuesta el mafioso sin encontrar palabras para describirlo. -… ¿Tuviste miedo, other me? –Consultó Karamatsu girándose para encararlo. -¿Qué? –Masculló inseguro - …supongo que nunca antes me habían advertido que me sacarían el cuello de una sola mordida, sólo fue eso – -Heh –Se jactó sin malas intenciones –La verdadera valentía de un hombre se halla en el coraje que tiene de decir sus propios miedos –Dijo en un montón de habladurías que ni él mismo llevaba a cabo. -Voy a tirarte los dientes – -¡¿Eh?! – El mafioso lo miró de vuelta con los labios juntos, sonriéndole con altanería –Es broma –Admitió. No, de hecho, hace cinco segundos atrás no lo era. -… ¿Por qué siempre estás molesto por algo? –Preguntó Karamatsu tragando saliva, sintiendo la necesidad de seguir forzando la voz. -¿Lo parezco? Quizás sólo es mi rostro, ¿No te han dicho algo similar antes? – El sextillizo de azul asintió meditabundo, no muy seguro si alguien se lo había comentado concretamente o no. -Mis hermanos suelen decírmelo a menudo –Habló el mafioso llamando su atención otra vez –Que siempre estoy de mal humor – -¿Lo estás realmente, other me? –Inquirió Karamatsu encorvando las cejas. -…la mayoría del tiempo no –Contestó el de camisa en una mueca extraña, desviando su mirada para enfocarse en otra cosa por un momento. Chasqueó la lengua incómodo, volteando medio cuerpo para regresar su vista hacia el segundo hermano –Dime, nini enclenque, ¿Qué haces para que no te vean de esa forma? – -¡¿Eh?! ¡¿De-de qué formas dices?! – El Karamatsu de camisa miró al de sudadera como si acabase de pensar mejor sus palabras –No, mejor olvídalo, no es nada –Dijo arrepintiéndose. -¿Estás seguro? –Suspiró de manera inexplicable, sintiéndose algo fuera de lugar -¿Tienes problemas con tus burazzas? – El mafioso arrugó la nariz –No es algo como eso, más bien…pareciera como si no me trataran igual que a los demás –Se sinceró frunciendo el ceño -¿They misunderstand you? –Inquirió en un pésimo inglés, frotándose la barbilla. -Deja de hablar así, maldita sea –Espetó el contrario –No es eso, es más bien…a veces no me hablan como si fuera uno de ellos. Digo, Osomatsu es el Don, y aun así es capaz de bromear con ellos como cualquier hermano – -…Pensé que se llevaban mejor que cualquier hermano que haya conocido –Murmuró el segundo hijo en total incomodidad. -Que nos acostemos entre nosotros no tiene nada que ver con nuestro trato fuera del sexo –Respondió el mafioso como si le estuviese explicando una receta culinaria –Las cosas cambian de nuevo a penas nos subimos los pantalones – -E-está bien, está bien, lo entendí –Le detuvo Karamatsu sin querer ahondar en detalles –Sólo…necesitas acercarte más a ellos ¡No de esa manera! –Advirtió mostrando ambas palmas hacia él –Sino más bien…hablar con ellos. ¡Sí! Sólo tienes que entablar una conversación como lo harías con cualquier persona de confianza, encontrar sus sentimientos, comprender sus anhelos, tocar sus almas with your own soul, iluminarlos con- -¡Bien, bien! Ya entendí…o eso creo –Interrumpió cerrando los ojos con expresión adolorida –No es como si no lo hubiera hecho antes. A veces…a veces siento que me tienen miedo –Develó abriendo los párpados lentamente. -Eso es un problema –Pensó Karamatsu regresando a su postura analítica y dramática, sin comprender ni en una décima parte la sensación de ser temido por los demás -¿Cómo suelen llamarte la mayoría de las veces? – -Aniki –Contestó el mafioso. -¡A-a-aniki! –Se atragantó el de sudadera. ¡Qué genial era eso, maldición! –Okay –Tosió controlando su emoción – ¡Lo primero será comenzar por lo más familiar! Con que te llamen por tu nombre será suficiente –Apuntó con el dedo varias veces, sonriendo -¡Lo segundo será pasar un tiempo a solas con ellos! – -¿Llevarlos a un motel? – -¡No de esa forma! ¡Nunca más de esa forma! –Chilló Karamatsu alarmándose, negando con la cabeza y con las manos con toda la euforia que su ser espantado le otorgó –No sé cómo son los hermanos en la mafia, pero eso es definitivamente lo que tú no estás buscando – -¡No te estoy entendiendo nada! ¿De verdad es buena idea preguntarte a ti? –Explotó el mafioso con las ideas revueltas. -¡Claro que lo es! Este guilty guy te ayudará a descubrir qué estás buscando, ¡Yo, Karamatsu! –Exclamó el segundo hijo. -Me estoy arrepintiendo, creo que no necesito consejo alguno –Dijo volteándose hacia el frente, apoyando otra vez la espalda contra la pared. Algo dentro de él le avisó que quizás esa sería una de las mejores decisiones de su vida. -¡No temas, other me! Lo único que debes hacer es considerar lo que ellos sienten y piensan cuando están contigo – -Di eso de nuevo – -¿Eh? – -¡Eso, di lo que dijiste recién! –Insistió el mafioso con los ojos abiertos. -Q-que debes considerar lo que los demás sienten cuando- -Debo escuchar lo que ellos tienen para decirme –Interrumpió tapándole la boca con su mano -¡Eso es! No respecto al trabajo, sino de la manera en la cual les puedo ayudar como hermano mayor –Dijo inhalando como si hubiese hallado algo que estuvo oculto frente a sus ojos todo el tiempo. Algo increíblemente tonto, a decir verdad. Tanto que incluso Karamatsu notó la falta de elocuencia con la que hablaba, pero sonrió satisfecho de que, gracias a su ayuda, éste lograse encontrar lo que estaba buscando. Tal vez las relaciones familiares de ese mal humorado Karamatsu eran muchísimo más frías de las que él mismo podría llegar a imaginar; no obstante, sea lo que sea que quería conseguir, estaba seguro que podría lograrlo. Porque era parte de Karamatsu. -Puedes ser más útil de lo que creí, painful neet– -¡¿Eh?! – Era probable de que ellos tuvieran más cosas en común de las que veían a simple vista. ~ * ~* ~~ ~~ ~ * ~* ~~ -¡Es un pájaro! – -Más bien parece un perro, Jyushiri-chan –Opinó la pelirosa. -No, no lo es, ninguno de los dos –Contestó el Kitsune con ambas manos frente a ellas, formando una silueta con los dedos. -Sigo pensando que este es un juego que se debe realizar con sombras, así no se puede adivinar bien –Dijo Choromatsu observando la postura. -¡De eso se trata! De añadirle más dificultad –Señaló Osomatsu pensando mientras achicaba los ojos. -¿Es un Oso? –Tanteó el guardián mágico. -Nah – -¡Un gato! –Gritó Jyushiri. -¡Un león! –Dijo la chica mágica. -No, están muy lejos –Avisó el Yokai sonriendo. -¿Un lobo? –Preguntó Choromatsu. -¡Un escarabajo! –Exclamó Osomatsu. -¡¿En qué mundo eso es un escarabajo?! –Respondió el tercer hijo. -¡Oh, no puede ser! ¿De verdad? –Rezongó el Kitsune –Es un zorro, claramente – -¡Ni siquiera lo parece! –Apuntó Osomatsu con el ceño fruncido. -Estaba muy rebuscado –Hizo una mueca la chica de rosa. -¡Es tu turno, Hechicero-san! –Ofreció Jyushiri mirándolo. -¿Eh, enserio? Está bien –Aceptó acomodándose las manos -¿Qué es? – -¡Un pájaro! –Gritó la chica de amarillo otra vez. -¡No todos son pájaros, Jyushiri-chan! –Debatió la pelirosada –Aunque esta vez sí tiene sentido… - -¡Un halcón! –Se entusiasmó Osomatsu. -Diría que una paloma –Contestó Choromatsu. -¿Una polilla? –Inquirió el Kitsune en posición analítica. -Definitivamente no –Respondió el mago de verde sonriendo. -¿Una mariposa? –Tanteó la chica mágica. -¡Un pterodáctilo! –Chilló Jyushiri. -¡Imposible! –Carcajeó Osomatsu. -Es un Varanus priscus con evolución mágica desde Niflheim –Confesó el guardián encorvando las cejas, fijándose en la forma de sus dedos – Es un tipo de Nidgogg menor – -¡¿Qué diablos es eso?! – -¿Eh? Es uno de los dragones más simples –Contestó él. -¡En mi maldita vida lo hubiese adivinado! –Reclamó el sextillizo mayor golpeando el suelo. -¡Eso sí es imposible! –Apoyó la pelirosada. -¡¿No tienen dragones aquí?! –Inquirió el de sombrero verde. -¡No, aquí no existe nada como eso! Son sólo fantasías –Negó Choromatsu mirándolo como un lunático. -Tu aburrimiento si se proyecta en los demás –Le dijo Osomatsu desistiendo su interés de seguir jugando. -¡¿A qué te refieres?! –Atacaron los dos de verde al unísono. -A que ambos son igual de tediosos y destructivos de la diversión –Aclaró el mayor llevándose ambas manos detrás de la nuca, balanceándose hacia atrás. La chica mágica asintió con ese punto frunciendo los labios, dando un apoyo silencioso antes de sujetar a su amiga de amarillo por el brazo –Vamos afuera, Jyushiri-chan, de seguro nos entretenemos más –Invitó levantándose. -¡Sí, sí! –Aceptó ella alejándose también. Los dos hermanos no pudieron evitar mirarle las piernas a ambas antes de que salieran a través del shoji, meneando las faldas de manera involuntaria con cada vaivén. -Mhhm… ¿No tienen cosas más interesantes por aquí? –Preguntó el Kitsune sacándolos de su ensimismamiento. -¿Cómo qué? –Contestó Osomatsu en otra inquisitiva. -No lo sé, esas cosas con botones que tienen los humanos hoy en día – A Osomatsu se le iluminaron los ojos por fracción de segundo, porque para él la respuesta más próxima al pensar en botones, palancas y diversión era definitivamente su amado y adorado pachinko. Sin embargo, la noción trágica que le recordaba el por qué seguía encerrado ahí; aún y cuando no fuera tan fatal estar estirado en el suelo todo el día, era que esos seres extraños les habían prohibido a todos salir de la casa. Y no era para menos, con todos tensos por la pérdida del niño y del posible ataque que podrían recibir.Trató de pensar de nuevo, descartando la televisión que tiempo atrás también les habían negado por sabrá Dios la razón, de manera literal. Pero fue increíble para él encontrarse con que lo más interesante que había ahí en su casa era eso, la caja de colores y las revistas graciosas. ¿…el porno podría ser otra opción? Ah, no, sus tesoros estaban en la habitación. Descartado. Miró las colas felpudas casi por inercia, sólo moviendo los ojos mientras meditaba una respuesta, y fue ahí cuando lo divisó: Una esfera blanca, media brillante y de superficie alisada reposaba entre el pelaje castaño escondida sin mucho cuidado.Pensó en una oportunidad, así que se la arrebató sin previo aviso, sonriéndole. -¿Qué es esto? –Tanteó Osomatsu mientras se levantaba y echaba a correr. -¡¿Q-Qué?! ¡Oye, devuélvemelo! –Gritó el Kitsune brincando para perseguirlo. Y así fue como Choromatsu y el guardián mágico terminaron solos sin siquiera habérselo propuesto como meta. De hecho, antes lo estaban, esos otros fueron sido los que habían llegado a perturbar su calma con sus juegos simplones. El guardián soltó una risa corta, sonriendo con perceptible nostalgia –Supongo que es así aquí y en cualquier lugar – -¿Mhm? ¿A qué te refieres? –Inquirió Choromatsu. -Tus hermanos me traen recuerdos de las personas que están en mi mundo –Respondió el mago acariciando el libro de manera inconsciente –Osomatsu es igual de idiota que aquí – -Sí, bueno, supongo que esa es su verdadera naturaleza, ser un imbécil sin remedio –Dijo secamente el tercer hijo -¿En tu mundo también son familia? – -No, no lo somos. Pero siempre nos pareció divertido pensar en lo mucho que se parecían nuestros nombres, de una u otra manera. Quizás ese fue el primer paso para conocernos mejor –Contestó el mago con rostro feliz. -¿No te traen problemas? – -Oh, claro que lo hacen. Osomatsu siempre está molestando por entrar disque porque su bola de cristal le adivinó la existencia de algún libro que le haría ganar algunas monedas. Karamatsu siempre quiere algún dato para los dragones, Ichimatsu alguna poción que no haya encontrado antes, Jyushimatsu pinturas mágicas que sean poderosas y Todomatsu semillas escondidas de plantas carnívoras –Habló como si fuese pan de cada día. -Vaya, son cosas algo…raras –Admitió Choromatsu pensando en cuán locos estaban todos. -Pero… ¿Sabes? De alguna forma me gusta que sea así. Gracias a eso no me siento tan solo en ese lugar –Sonrió mirando al tercer hijo. Choromatsu también le sonrió al oírlo –Suenan como buenos amigos – -Sí –Contestó el guardián –Son mis grandes amigos. Me hacen querer regresar aunque tenga que escuchar todas sus idioteces –Admitió riéndose. Al parecer ese hechicero estrafalario no era tan frío y serio como él pensó en primera instancia. Tenía expectativas y anhelos como cualquier persona común y corriente, tal como las tenía él mismo. Esa pequeña charla de alguna forma había sido valiosa para ambos. ~ * ~* ~~ ~~ ~ * ~* ~~ -¡Oh! ¿Qué están haciendo? –Inquirió Jyushiri al grupo de rostros iguales. Estaban todos dispersos pero a la vez formando un semi círculo, observando cómo pequeñas partículas de hielo caían con tanta lentitud que parecían flotar en el aire. Eran craqueladas, simétricas y entreveradas algunas con otras. Hexagonales, estrelladas, diáfanas, poli cristalinas y maravillosas. -Copos de nieve –Contestó Yuki-onna con las palmas extendidas hacia adelante, empujando suavemente hacia arriba cada dendrita estelar que pretendía caer más debajo de su pecho. Creando otras en constantes ráfagas de viento frío que los ramificaban cada vez más. -¡Son preciosos! –Exclamó la chica mágica acercándose hacia ellos en rápidas zancadas. Jyushiri saltó muy cerca de ella, uniéndose a la expectación por ver más hielo volátil. -¿Puedes hacerlos con más formas de ramas? –Preguntó Jade algo apartado, sintiendo que ya había estado mucho tiempo cerca del ser de las nieves y que le escocía la nariz congelada. -¿Subestimas mis habilidades? –Dijo el yokai levantando una de sus cejas, comenzando a crear otros cristales de hielo más grandes y extensos. -Increíble –Decía Todomatsu mientras tomaba fotografías con su celular. -¡Haz un gran árbol con las ramas! –Incentivaba Jyushimatsu muy cerca del espectáculo, sin importarle en absoluto el frío que cada vez iba en aumento. La verdad es que llamaban muchísimo la atención. Era ilusorio de que nadie se hubiese detenido a esa hora a mirar la entrada de la casa Matsuno, puesto que podían ser vistos desde la calle por estar por fuera de la puerta. Jyushimatsu Alfa y Karamatsu Omega también habían llegado a verlo, se mantenían de pie cerca de los maceteros exteriores acompañados del panda rojo y del conejo rosa que olisqueaban a su alrededor. -Son hermosas, ¿Verdad? –Tanteó Yuki-onna vanagloriándose a sí mismo. -¿Cómo es que puedes hacer tantas? –Preguntó Todomatsu bajando su celular por un segundo. -Son bastante fáciles, el hielo y la humedad del ambiente se encargan de hacer todo –Explicó el Yokai volteando a mirarlo –Además, suelo hacerlas para entretenerme un poco – -Suenas a que tienes bastante tiempo libre –Dijo el sexto hijo sintiendo un extraño sentimiento de similitud. -Lo tengo, aunque… -Titubeó un instante, tambaleando las manos más fuerte para poder satisfacer los insistentes reclamos y pedidos que daban los de sudadera amarilla por ver más copos de nieve –Hay algunos seres que suelen malgastarlo bastante –Dijo en una mueca. -¿Eh? ¿Qué seres? –Inquirió Todomatsu ladeándose hacia él, cayendo quizás en la cuenta de quiénes se podrían tratar - ¿Hablas del resto de mis hermanos? – -Sí, se podría decir que sí. A veces pasean por las montañas en las épocas de menos frío y juegan entre ellos con mis copos de nieve –Relató sonriendo –Son realmente estúpidos, pero me hacen sentir que tal vez ese lugar no es un sitio tan solitario después de todo –Habló mirando al de sudadera rosa. Todomatsu se reflejó en sus grandes pupilas, preguntándose si incluso en ese mundo él trataría de encontrar maneras de llamar la atención con la gente. A decir verdad, las palabras del ser de las nieves le hicieron sentirse como si aún estuviese en su infancia, intentando encajar bien y resaltar entre ese grupo de seis niños iguales; con la eterna desventaja de ser el menor, una que con el tiempo descubrió por sí mismo de que no se trataba de nada como eso. -Ah –Soltó sonriéndole de vuelta, dirigiendo su atención nuevamente hacia las siluetas de hielo –Sí, a veces a mí también me pasa lo mismo – ¿Tal vez ese Yokai tenía otros objetivos más específicos en vez de sólo ayudarlos a no destruir su mundo? ~ * ~* ~~ ~~ ~ * ~* ~~ -¡Vuelve aquí, regrésamela! –Gritó el Kitsune atrapando a Osomatsu desde el borde de su sudadera, jaloneándolo hacia él. Osomatsu aprovechó el impulso para sentarse en la mitad del pasillo, apegándose al muro sin pretender entregar lo que se había robado. -¿Qué es esto? –Sonsacó entre risas quisquillosas -¿Lo quieres, lo quieres? – -¡Sí, es mío! ¡Dámelo! –Exigió el Yokai estirando el brazo hacia la esfera, siendo esquivado por Osomatsu que estiraba su brazo con ella en la mano hacia el otro lado -¡Te digo que me lo des! – Osomatsu carcajeó de nuevo -¿Es tu hoshi no tama? –Inquirió mirándolo con curiosidad. -¡Eso no te incumbe! ¡Regrésamela! –Lloriqueó el zorro insistiendo en su cometido. -¡A que sí lo es! –Acertó Osomatsu al ver su rostro –Si es así, entonces me debes algo a cambio de tenerla de vuelta –Dijo pensando en cuán bueno había sido recordar las leyendas mitológicas de su país. -¡No puedo hacer eso! –Negó el Kitsune desistiendo en tratar de arrebatársela, sintiéndose aún desesperado. -¿No se supone que esta esfera es tu alma? –Tanteó Osomatsu mirándola con más atención, girando su muñeca para poder observar el brillo que ésta desprendía por todos lados apegándose a sus dedos. -Regrésame mi esfera de estrella –Farfulló el Yokai extrañamente más aniñado que de costumbre, realizando unos pucheros que no lograron convencer al sextillizo mayor. -Mmh… ¡No, no lo haré! ¡No hasta que prometas darme otra cosa en su lugar! – -¡Si sabes de su existencia entonces sabrás que no puedo darte nada de lo que pretendes conseguir! –Dijo abalanzándose otra vez hasta él. -¡Pero sí me puedes dar protección y todas esas cosas que no sirven de mucho! Serás como mi escudo todopoderoso –Ofreció Osomatsu estirando otra vez la mano lejos de la del Yokai. -¡Ya te dije que no puedo hacerlo! Además, ya tengo esa petición desde antes –Dijo bailoteando los dedos. -¿Eh, enserio? –Escudriñó Osomatsu distrayéndose, relajando su codo para que el Kitsune tomara su esfera brillante de vuelta -¿Quién te pidió algo como eso? – -Fue ese Dios, antes de saltar por los universos –Respondió abrazándose a su objeto robado. -¿Ya te la habían robado antes? –Se burló Osomatsu en una explosión de risa poco disimulada -¡Entonces siempre la pierdes! – -¡Cállate! –Exclamó el zorro frunciendo el ceño, volviéndose a esconder su hoshi no tama entre el pelaje de sus colas -¡No es tan simple como crees! – -¿Y por qué te han pedido protegerme? – -Megami cree que estás en más peligro que cualquier otro –Dijo el Kitsune terminando por sentarse mejor sobre el suelo –Siendo que el demonio proviene de una parte de ti, necesitará tus poderes que tienen total compatibilidad con los de él –Contestó sacudiéndose el par de bigotes cánidos. Osomatsu hizo una mueca indescifrable, sintiéndose algo desorientado. -Por otra parte –Continuó el Kitsune –Creo que tienes cosas más importantes que hacer en estos momentos en vez de preocuparte por lo que te vaya a hacer el demonio a ti – -¿A qué te refieres? –Indagó el de sudadera roja. El Yokai alzó una de sus manos, apuntando con su dedo índice hacia arriba, subiendo y bajando varias veces el codo para resaltar su indicación –Todavía tienes un asunto que arreglar allá arriba –Dijo volteándose a mirarlo. -Tienes razón –Concordó el hijo mayor levantándose de su sitio –Tengo que devolverme la mano a mí mismo – Su contraparte sólo le sonrió, quedándose ahí sentado hasta verlo perderse entre el inicio de las escaleras.Osomatsu subió los escalones en silencio, abriendo el shoji que correspondía a la habitación que compartían sus hermanos y él. Se encontró con su otro yo sentado de piernas cruzadas en medio del cuarto, cabizbajo y dándole la espalda. -Hey –Saludó en voz baja cuando entró y cerró el shoji detrás de sí. No recibió respuesta. Tampoco la esperó. Se acercó lentamente hasta el Osomatsu de camiseta que no se inmutó ante su presencia, sentándose a su lado en completo silencio. No lo miró a la cara en ningún momento, sólo se quedó ahí un rato sintiendo la incomodidad de su propia indiferencia. -No bajaste a comer –Comenzó el sextillizo mayor con voz neutra. -No lo haré –Respondió el contrario –No mientras no sepa si mi hermano siquiera ha comido aún –Dijo con sequedad. -Fue…no fue tu culpa, ¿Sabes? – -No trates de decirme eso, incluso tú sabes que sí lo fue –Contestó el de camiseta –Yo debí tener toda mi atención en él – -Mira, yo no sé qué es lo que significa manejar con niños, pero estoy seguro que pueden ser más que un simple problema – -No me estás ayudando en lo absoluto, ¿Podrías dejarme solo? – -Ni lo pienses, ahora es tu turno de aguantarte y escucharme –Peleó Osomatsu frunciendo el ceño, sintiéndose bien de poder devolver ese sentimiento que sintió hace menos de un día atrás –Encontraremos a Ichimatsu, así que no necesitas preocuparte demasiado. Además, sentado aquí no vas a lograr conseguir nada, sobre todo si… ¡Oye! –Chilló el sextillizo después de recibir un manotazo de su contraparte. -¡Eres pésimo en la materia de tratar de subirle los ánimos a alguien, lárgate! –Reclamó el Osomatsu de camiseta roja. -¡No me eches de mi propia habitación, idiota! –Respondió el de sudadera. -¡Te la devolveré después, ahora déjame en paz! – -¡¿Quién fue el imbécil que me dijo que si no hacía nada me quedaría sin hablarle a nadie por semanas?! ¡Estoy tratando de ayudarte, zopenco frito! –Gritó pateándolo de vuelta -¡Si tienes tanto tiempo para quedarte sin hacer nada ahí, entonces deberías ir e intentar encontrar una solución a tu problema! – -¡Lo dices como si supiera encontrar intra-universos por mi propia cuenta! Ni siquiera esas cosas extrañas logran hallarlo, ¿Qué se supone que debo hacer? ¿Cómo puedo estar tranquilo sabiendo que le pueden estar haciendo algo a mi hermano? –Dijo mirando al sextillizo mayor mientras colocaba ambas manos sobre el suelo, dándose otro punto de apoyo, como si con eso tratase de equilibrar sus propias emociones. Osomatsu observó la desesperación ajena reflejada en sus ojos, sintiéndose por un instante perdido consigo mismo –No lo están haciendo. Ichimatsu está bien –Aseguró con voz firme. -¿Cómo diablos podrías saberlo? –Bufó en burla el otro, rodando los ojos entre una exaltación. -No lo sé, simplemente lo creo así –Habló con sinceridad el de sudadera –Lo necesitan por alguna razón, de otra forma no se lo hubiesen llevado con ellos –Dijo haciendo trabajar su intuición. El de camiseta soltó una exhalación pasmada, mirándolo mientras relajaba los hombros con derrota. Titubeó la vista contra el suelo, decidiéndola dejarla ahí un momento. -No sé qué haré si algo llega a pasarle. Si le sucede algo malo, yo jamás me lo perdonaré –Confesó apretando los dedos –Ellos son lo único que me queda –Dijo cerrando los párpados. Osomatsu se sintió mal. Porque si él decía eso, lo mismo aplicaba si era al revés. Siendo parte de un grupo de sextillizos no se sentía con ese fuerte sentimiento de hermano mayor sobreprotector, ni mucho menos como un pilar que los cuidaba a todos, así que se quedó sin palabras. -Entonces…deberías por comenzar dejándote de preguntarte tantas cosas y salir de aquí a buscarlo –Murmuró apoyando los codos en sus rodillas. -¿Me estás escuchando lo que te digo? Estamos volviendo a mismo tema – -No, no es lo mismo. Esos pensamientos de derrota no te van a llevar a ningún lado, ¡Lo que tienes que hacer es confiar en que sí puedes ganar! –Dijo Osomatsu irguiendo la espalda aún sentado. El Osomatsu de camiseta lo miró de nuevo con una expresión indescifrable. -Si el hermano mayor se rinde con tanta facilidad, ¿Qué se supone que les queda a los demás? Además, mi esencia siempre está en apostar, ¡Y eso es siempre al número ganador! –Habló el hijo mayor encontrando su propia confianza. -¿Qué quieres decir con eso? – -¿Qué es lo que harás con el premio si lo llegas a ganar? –Preguntó en otra inquisitiva. -Ichimatsu no es ningún premio, ¿De qué diablos hablas? – -¡Argh! ¿Nunca has ido a una carrera de caballos? ¿Pachinko? ¿Al menos a una lotería? –Tanteó Osomatsu exasperándose –Tu premio es llegar hasta Ichimatsu, como las canicas que suelta una máquina ganadora. Ahora, ¿Has pensado en qué es lo que harás para gastarlas? – El Osomatsu de camiseta lo observó un instante con su cerebro funcionando a marchas forzadas –Tienes un muy extraño sentido de la inteligencia desarrollado – -¡Claro! Soy un experto en esto –Se afanó a sí mismo el sextillizo –Lo que quiero decir, es que tú no puedes conseguir el boleto ganador estando aquí solo, sino más bien confiar en la suerte que significa apostar. Son cálculos muy complejos, ¿Sabes? Sin embargo, hay algo que sí puedes hacer una vez que ganas, y es decidir qué vas a hacer con el premio. Cuando veas a Ichimatsu, ¿Qué es lo que harás? ¡Eso sí puede ser algo que esté a tu alcance! – -¿Hacer algo…una vez que obtenga el premio? –Pensó casi contando con los dedos. De hecho sí, estando allí no podía hacer nada más que esperar lo mejor de los demás. No obstante, él si podía poner de su parte una vez que tuviera a Ichimatsu frente a sí de nuevo. Y oh, definitivamente jugaría sus cartas de otra manera apenas eso sucediera. -¿Crees que no tengo razón? – -Puede que…no, la tienes. ¡Tienes razón! –Aceptó el contrario, recapacitando en sus ideales de siempre –Lo que tengo que hacer es asegurar que Ichimatsu regresará aquí sano y salvo, y ayudar en todo lo que esté a mi alcance –Dijo destensando los músculos, abriendo la posición cerrada que había adoptado su cuerpo. Osomatsu sonrió rascándose bajo la nariz, sintiendo que tal vez no era tan malo a la hora de darle ánimos a sus otros yo. ~ * ~* ~~ ~~ ~ * ~* ~~ La oscuridad ya no era absoluta. Las formas habían mutado a tonos grisáceos oscuros, resaltando las diferentes protuberancias que podían haber en ese sitio de extensiva interminable. Sólo se oían los aleteos molestos del demonio y el lloriqueo de un niño que sollozaba sin cesar. -¡Cállate! –Vociferó el demonio cuando la última gota de paciencia se desvaneció de su sistema -¡Deja ya de lloriquear, alubia moquillenta! – -¡Fuiste tú quien decidió traerlo en primer lugar! –Exclamó el Todomatsu de sombrero tapándose las orejas –Además, ¡¿De qué nos sirve una cría de humano aquí?! – -Estoy planeando algo, ¡Pero este bicho está haciendo que me arrepienta! –Dijo frunciendo la nariz. El Nekomata le daba ligeramente la espalda al niño que estaba sentado ahí; sobándose los ojos mientras sorbía la nariz con demasiado ruido. -¡Haz que se calle! –Ordenó el demonio mirando al Yokai desde arriba. -No tengo por qué hacerlo –Contestó éste levantando la cabeza, acomodando sus piernas cruzadas. -¡Si no te callas, voy a cortarte la lengua! ¡¿Me oíste?! –Amenazó al infante encendiendo los ojos en rojo. -No puedes hacer eso, los niños humanos mueren de dolor después de hacerlo –Advirtió el Dodomeki no muy lejos, apoyado sobre su espalda contra una de las anchas columnas que sobresalían funcionadas con el suelo. -Me voy a asegurar de que no lo haga. Se la voy a arrancar con los dedos tan fuerte que se arrepentirá de emitir algún otro sonido –Aseguró el ser demoniaco con voz fría. Los dos humanos restantes que habían ahí se removieron por un segundo, mirándolo tan sólo un instante desde abajo. La imperceptible fibra de humanidad que les quedaba se sacudió con violencia, recordándoles la moral que podían tener hasta con un niño de ese tamaño. El Nekomata miró hacia arriba con expresión inmutable, extendiendo sus dos colas al niño que se fijó en ellas un momento. Juntó los labios aguantando los hipidos que seguían saliendo de manera automática, concentrándose en ese par de extremidades felpudas que se balanceaban con lentitud frente a él. Algo ocurrió que ni el mismo Yokai pensó que le sucedería en su vida: El niño en vez de asustarse, comenzó a jugar con ellas olvidándose de por qué estaba llorando originalmente. Continuó agitando con ligereza ambas colas, distrayendo a Ichimatsu en cada intento de atraparlas. -¡Al fin! –Celebró Todomatsu. -Qué suerte tienes, pequeña mierda –Felicitó el demonio apagando el carmesí de su vista. -¿Y de qué se supone que esa cosa nos va a traer beneficios? ¡Me estoy cansando, tú y el Nekomata fueron los únicos que salieron de aquí! –Reclamó el de vestido rosa. -Es nuestra carnada. Megami no va a estar tranquilo mientras este gusanillo siga con nosotros, así que va a malgastar su energía tratando de encontrar este lugar. No va a ser fácil mientras la fuente de poder esconda nuestra ubicación, así que es una buena técnica para atraerlo hasta aquí estando débil. Pero… -Farfulló sonriente, acomodándose sobre el aire mientras movía los dedos –Es una bomba de tiempo. Los humanos se desgastan si no se alimentan, y perecen si se mantienen mucho tiempo cargados de energía maligna, sobretodo uno tan diminuto. Así que…tendrán que apresurarse – El Nekomata miró por el rabillo de su ojo hacia atrás, fijándose en el humano que jugaba ausente de su propio infortunio. -Si no llegan a tiempo, este humano se va a morir –Aseguró el demonio con satisfacción. * Bella donna: Bella mujer, mujer hermosa. Che fa male, buona sorella: Eso duele, buena hermana. Shisutā: Sister/Hermana. Varanus priscus: Tipo de lagarto australiano extinto. * Nidhogg de Niflheim: Dragón que habita en el reino de las tinieblas, según la mitología nórdica. (Sí, mezclé a un fósil de lagarto australiano con un dragón nórdico, así que...no existe (?)) Hoshi no tama <<星の玉>>: “Esfera de estrellas”. Se dice que quien consigue la esfera, obtiene una promesa del Kitsune con tal de devolvérsela. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- -¿Cuánto tiempo ha pasado? –Preguntó el Dodomeki abriendo el único ojo normal y corriente que tenía como todos los demás. -No lo sé. El tiempo no corre para nosotros aquí –Respondió el Todomatsu de las velas jugando con el cerote que le escurría entre las manos. Y era verdad hasta cierto punto. No importaba cuántas horas transcurrieran, los humanos de allí seguían sin demostrar agotamiento, hambre o sueño. Sólo estaban ahí sin moverse más de lo estrictamente necesario, sin siquiera hablarse entre ellos. No obstante, sólo había alguien a quien sí parecía afectarle la eterna oscuridad que lo arropaba y la falta de alimento. El Nekotama volteó para verificar el semblante cabizbajo del niño. Había dejado de jugar con sus colas, sólo acariciándolas de vez en vez cuando movía las manos de forma ausente. El sonido de tripas le anunció la situación en la cual se encontraba el menor, avisándole que de hecho, la energía maligna sí se estaba encargando de hacer su parte del trabajo. -Hey –Llamó con voz desinteresada mientras daba vuelta todo su cuerpo para mirarlo de frente. El pequeño Ichimatsu alzó la vista con dificultad, sintiéndose cada vez más perdido en el espacio tiempo. -¿Tienes sueño? Puedes dormir –Invitó sin mayores intenciones de ayudar a solucionar el problema. El de camiseta púrpura sorbió la nariz por enésima vez, percibiendo las ganas de llorar de nuevo. Quería dormir, quería comer, quería que sus hermanos mayores lo arrullaran y que los menores se aferraran a su cuerpo disfrutando simultáneamente de los mimos antes de caer al sueño. Osomatsu miró la escena con una ceja alzada de manera suspicaz -¿Qué pretendes? No tienes por qué ayudar a la presa –Dijo jugando con la fuente de energía oscura. -No lo estoy ayudando. Pero si no duerme, se pondrá a llorar de nuevo –Contestó el Yokai tratando de mirarlo por el rabillo del ojo. Todomatsu hizo una mueca fastidiada y Osomatsu lo imitó enseguida, decidiéndose a ignorar la situación –Bien, bien. Sólo haz que no chille más –Concedió distendiéndose del tema. Una mano diminuta hizo que el Nekomata se concentrara nuevamente en el niño con las orejas en alerta, fijándose en que éste estaba tratando de sujetarle la yukata morada. -Gatito –Murmuró entre un bostezo, enjuagándose las lágrimas adormiladas y asustadas que había estado conteniendo hace un rato. El Yokai parpadeó varias veces sin entender el objetivo de esa acción tan poco común para él, por no decir nunca antes experimentada. Movió las colas hacia adelante otra vez para que el niño pudiese alcanzarlas, comenzando a restregárselas contra sus mejillas en un relajo que le hizo cosquillas. Movió los dedos una sola vez, apareciendo entre ellos una galleta de mantequilla. Solía robarlas sólo por mero fastidio ajeno, guardándolas para masticarlas si llegaba a aburrirse de vagar sin rumbo. -Ten –Le dijo regalándola, mirando con atención cómo el niño la tomaba entre sus dedos y se la llevaba a la boca con torpeza. Se acurrucó sin invitación alguna entre las piernas del Nekomata, apoyando su cabeza sobre la tela púrpura y acomodándose la galleta entre los labios para mordisquearla en silencio, durmiéndose por la comodidad que le producía la presencia del felino y la lentitud con la que sus colas se rozaban contra sus brazos. El Yokai se quedó ahí sin hacer ni decir nada, sólo observando el vaivén que hacía el pecho del menor al respirar hundido en el letargo. Esa era la primera vez que un humano se acercaba a él por cuenta propia, y de alguna forma eso le causaba una sensación que ni él podría explicar. Hizo una expresión extraña, que más bien lucía como una sonrisa. ~ * ~* ~~ ~~ ~ * ~* ~~ -¿Otra vez no comiste nada? –Consultó Osomatsu de pie junto al de camiseta roja. El más alto había bajado hace un par de horas para observar cómo iba la situación, decepcionándose cada vez más con el transcurrir del tiempo. Los seres celestiales seguían sin moverse y eso sólo lo desesperaba más aún; no obstante, pretendía contenerse de lanzarles algún improperio que no se merecían. -No, no tengo hambre –Mintió mirándolo de soslayo. Si bien la tenía, su preocupación era lo suficientemente grande esta vez como para ignorar el rugido de su estómago. -¿De verdad? Ese Karaage estaba delicioso –Se jactó limpiándose los dientes con un dedo. -¡Osomatsu-niisan! –Reclamó Choromatsu con desaprobación. -¿Qué? ¡De verdad estaba fabuloso! ¿No lo crees? – -Hmm, una cena digna de hombres – -Cállate, Kusomatsu –Demandó Ichimatsu tres veces más mosqueado que de costumbre. -¿Hmm? –Farfulló con interés el segundo hijo en una pose estirada. -No, lo digo porque estás hablando demás –Intervino el tercero ignorando el resto de comentarios anteriores. -¿Siempre eres así de mandón? –Inquirió el mayor pensando en cuán pesado estaba durante esos días. -¡No estoy siendo mandón! –Chilló el de verde. -¡Ah! ¿Pueden callarse? Acabamos de comer –Dijo Todomatsu desde la mesa mientras revisaba su celular. -Heh, el reposo es esencial para la buena digestión –Comentó Karamatsu en una frase más innecesaria de la habitual. -Que te calles –Insistió el cuarto hijo enderezándose en el suelo, cada vez más tocado. -Oigan, no se hablen así –Les retó Choromatsu. -¡Ahaha, Choromatsu-niisan sí es mandón! –Concordó Jyushimatsu casi estirado por completo sobre la mesa. -¡A que sí, Jyushimatsu! –Le celebró el mayor de todos. -¡Que no! –Gritó el de verde. -¡Aaaahh! ¡¿Enserio?! –Exclamó el de rosa desviando sus ojos de la pantalla para girarlos hacia arriba - ¡Eso lo sabemos todos, no es una novedad! – -¡Oye, Todomatsu! – -Hu, la valiosa preocupación de un hermano –Habló sin ser oído Karamatsu. E Ichimatsu pareció quedarse sin paciencia. -¡¿Qué acaso no puedes cerrar la-…ha –Se detuvo a plena queja, torciéndose sobre sí mismo al sentir una punzada más fuerte de las que había estado recibiendo, tanto que le hizo soltar una exhalación casi herida. -¿Eh, Ichimatsu? –Tanteó Choromatsu encorvando las cejas. -No puede ser…Karamatsu le hizo daño hasta a Ichimatsu –Dijo Osomatsu sorprendiéndose del acontecimiento. A Ichimatsu sólo solía sacarle de quicio la presencia del segundo hermano, no herirle de la forma “dolorosa” que todos sí sentían en sus cuerpos. -¡¿EH?! –Soltó Karamatsu asustándose. Ah, qué guilty guy era él, siendo capaz de hacerle eso a su hermano menor. -¡¿Ichimatsu-niisan?! –Llamó el de amarillo acercándose hasta el de púrpura. -Estoy bien –Soltó el cuarto hijo apenas el dolor se fue, tan rápido como llegó. Se tocó el pecho buscando de nuevo el origen de la punzada, sin encontrar la zona exacta. -¿Eh, estás seguro? Eso no fue para nada normal –Dijo Todomatsu dejando su celular sobre la mesa. -I-i-ichimatsu, ¿Estás bien? N-no quise hacerte daño –Expresó Karamatsu inclinándose cerca de él, realmente creyéndose el culpable del malestar ajeno, pensando que quizás sí tenía un agente doloroso en su ser que producía ese tipo de reacciones. Porque esa era una que nunca le había pasado, de hecho hasta se esperó un golpe que no llegó. -No fuiste tú, idiota –Respondió Ichimatsu con sequedad, no muy concentrado en lo que le decían; sino más bien buscando el origen real de su dolor repentino. -Oigan, ¿Seguro que está bien? –Inquirió el guardián mágico acercándose a los sextillizos. -¿Va a tener un ataque? –Preguntó Jyushiri comprobando la situación. -No creo que sea eso –Opinó Jade desde el otro lado. -¿Tal vez tenga que ver con el niño? –Pensó en voz alta la pelirosada. Todos la voltearon a observar con expresión atónita, analizando de manera individual las posibilidades. -¿A…a qué te refieres? –Respondió el Osomatsu de camiseta. -Ah…eh –Balbuceó la chica mágica –Bueno, sólo lo pensé un instante…no es que sea así –Dio un paso hacia atrás jugueteando con los dedos, sintiéndose extrañamente fuera de lugar –Puede que…sí estemos ligados a ellos –Dijo apuntando con la mirada. Los sextillizos percibieron que las miradas esta vez se dirigieron hacia ellos. ~ * ~* ~~ ~~ ~ * ~* ~~ -¿Ya se murió? – El Nekomata negó con la cabeza. -Mooou ~ –Exhaló Todomatsu entre la desesperación -¿Cuánto más tenemos que esperar? ¿Acaso no les importa esa cosa de ahí? – -… ¿Les estaremos haciendo un favor? –Reflexionó el demonio tamborileando los dedos con los brazos cruzados. -¿Tal vez no estás poniendo mucho entusiasmo en ocultar la barrera? –Inquirió el de rosa. -Esa es la jodida idea –Osomatsu se giró en el aire relajándose, estirando los músculos que su forma física le daba –Bueno, no importa si está vivo o muerto una vez que vengan. De todas formas consumiré su energía – Y a decir verdad, no parecía quedar mucho tiempo. El niño seguía dormido, padeciendo una fiebre que poco o nada le ayudaba a regresar en su estado consciente. Sudaba, se removía entre sueños e inhalaba a marchas forzadas. El peso espiritual que producía el demonio sobre él al fin había surtido efecto. Un par de colas se estiraron de nuevo para darle cosquillas en la nariz, sin recibir el resultado esperado. Algo de verdad andaba muy mal, a ese humano no le quedaban nada más que un par de míseras horas. El Yokai torció la boca pensando en cuán aburrido sería si ese futuro se hiciese realidad tan pronto, sintiendo que algo se removía en su interior. “Sólo un poco más” Pensó liberando esporas púrpuras desde sus colas, filtrándose por el cuello del niño de manera imperceptible. ~ * ~* ~~ ~~ ~ * ~* ~~ -¡Jyushimatsu-kun! –Gritó Jyushiri después de lanzarse contra él. El quinto hermano se encontraba recostado en el suelo, respirando con fuerza y riéndose como un bobo -¿Qué haces, qué haces? – -¡Doy vueltas! –Contestó Jyushimatsu estirando los brazos y las piernas hacia arriba, como una tortuga al revés. Las pantuflas habían salido volando y su cabeza estaba aún más revuelta que de costumbre. -¡Ohhh! ¿Puedo hacerlo contigo? –Consultó la chica de coletas brincando a su costado, levantándose de un salto para esperar las instrucciones. -¡Sí, claro! –Dijo levantándose también. -¿Tú también haces esto para relajarte? – -¿Eh? –Soltó Jyushimatsu pausando sus movimientos antes de ponerse a girar sobre sí mismo otra vez. -¡Sí, ya sabes! Dicen que todos tenemos alguna cosa en común con ustedes –Jyushiri sonrió dando un par de vueltas lentas y alegres, dejando que su falda bailoteara con gracia -¡Me gusta hacer esto cuando estoy nerviosa! ¿Estás nervioso, Jyushimatsu-kun? – Jyushimatsu se llevó una de sus mangas largas contra su boca abierta, preguntándose cómo se había fijado en eso tan fácilmente. Se sentía hasta algo fuera de lugar, nunca nadie se había detenido a preguntarle tal cosa, lo normal era que se dejaran llevar por su sonrisa y todo estaría bien.Pero aún y con todos sus cuestionamientos, le sonrió de forma sincera. -¿Lo estaba? – -¡Si, si! Estoy segura que lo estabas. ¿Se ha ido? – -¿Quién se ha ido? – -¿El miedo? – La miró parpadeando varias veces, tocándose el pecho por auto-reflejo. ¿El miedo…estaba? -Jyushiri-chan – -¿Mhm? –Farfulló ella dando más vueltas. -¿Confías en tus hermanas? – Jyushiri se detuvo para observarlo a los ojos, tan sonriente como él, pero de manera distinta a la habitual -¡Sí, confío mucho en ellas! Siempre resolvemos los problemas juntas – -Yo también confío mucho en mis hermanos –Dijo Jyushimatsu comenzando a dar vueltas más alocadas que las de la muchacha -¡Así que no hay por qué tener miedo! – Jyushiri obtuvo su respuesta con la suya propia sin darse cuenta. Estuvo siempre frente a ella. -Jyushimatsu-kun – -¿Mhm? –Soltó el quinto hermano sin dejar de girar. -¿Por qué siempre sonríes? – Jyushimatsu se detuvo, cerrando la boca aunque siguiera curva -¿Mmmh? ¿Por qué? Puede que… ¡Por la misma razón que lo haces tú! – -¿Es molesto? – -¿Molesto? – Jyushiri cerró la boca también, cambiando el semblante de manera radical, tornándolo apesadumbrado -¿Nunca has pensado…que puede ser molesto? ¿Qué puede…fastidiar a los demás? – -¿El que sonría puede fastidiar a los demás? – -El ruido, todo de ti – Hubo un silencio analítico. Jyushiri sentía a Jyushimatsu como una parte de sí misma, una con la que podía hablar abiertamente y de forma física los malestares que a veces la aquejaban. Lo consideró muchas veces, que la mayoría de las veces era demasiado diferente a las demás. Demasiado efusiva. Demasiado extraña. Demasiado fuera de lo normal.-¿Tendría que ser algo malo? – -¿Eh? –Murmuró ella saliendo de sus pensamientos. -¡Yo quiero reír, dar vueltas, saltar y jugar béisbol todo el tiempo! ¿Por qué tendría que dejar de hacerlo? ¡Yo soy yo, y no hay manera de que eso cambie! Dejar de ser alguien que no soy…eso sería dejar de ser Jyushimatsu. ¡Y mis hermanos saben que yo soy Jyushimatsu! Así que no hay problema –Respondió él moviendo los brazos. -Pero…ellos no piensan que- -¿Quién eres, Jyushiri-chan? –Inquirió el quinto hijo. ¿Quién era ella? -¡Soy la quinta hermana de las sextillizas Matsuno, Jyushiri! –Dijo ella alzando las mangas largas -¡Y ahora mismo sólo quiero dar vueltas! ¡Porque me gusta! – Ambos volvieron a sonreír lo más que pudieron, dando tantas vueltas que volvieron a caer al suelo exhaustos y atolondrados en risa. Sí, Jyushimatsu lo pensó, las chicas sí que se hacían un montón de preguntas. -¿Eh, qué están haciendo? –Tanteó Todomatsu después de abrir el shoji. -¡Damos vueltas! – -¿A esta hora? –Inquirió Jade mirando sobre el hombro del de sudadera rosa. -¿Eh, no se puede? –Preguntó Jyushiri deteniéndose. -No, no es que no se pueda…-Comenzó Todomatsu poniéndose en duda. -Creo que deberíamos permanecer todos en la sala –Aclaró el de cabello verde –Ya saben…han pasado veinticuatro horas – Jyushimatsu también se detuvo. Sí, casi lo olvidaba. Habían pasado veinticuatro horas desde eso y nadie pudo dormir bien, se dividían entre sobresaltos e insomnio. La sala principal era desoladora. Todos abarrotados sin saber qué hacer, observando cómo las luces ascendentes que desprendía el Dios y su ángel disminuían considerablemente.Pensaron en la posibilidad de realizar el mismo método que les había ayudado a recuperarse, no obstante, titubeaban al intentarlo. -¿No crees que tal vez debas disolver la barrera? –Le inquirió la pelirosada al guardián mágico. -¿Eh? Bueno…él dijo que no interferiría con su propia magia –Contestó. -Sin embargo, se está tardando demasiado –Habló el Don. -La magia no es tan fácil de manipular –Dijo el Kitsune –Sobre todo cuando se debe controlar para no provocar grandes daños – -Si se combate magia con magia, entonces las cosas se complican un poco más –Opinó esta vez Yuki-onna. -¿Deberíamos en ese caso encontrar otro método? –Ofreció el mafioso de azul. -¿Siquiera existe una manera racional de hacerlo? –Devolvió el peliverde sin convencerse. -Confíen en Dios –Aseguró el párroco con los ojos cerrados, orando en silencio. -¿No se está cansando? –Preguntó Jyushiri indagando de lejos. -Hey, hagan lo de antes, no creo que exploten si los tocan –Intervino Osomatsu empujando por la espalda a Choromatsu. -¿Q-qué? Digo…y si, eh ¿No es muy arriesgado? –Respondió el tercer hijo entre tartamudeos. -¡Lo haré, lo haré! –Exclamó Jyushimatsu apartando a todo el mundo de su paso, con clara dirección hacia la espalda del ángel. -¡Jyushimatsu, espera! –Le detuvo Ichimatsu con voz ronca. -Hey, burazzas –Llamó Karamatsu. -¡Vamos, déjalo, de seguro es más rápido si les cargan la batería de esa forma! –Incentivó el Matsu de rojo. -¡No son celulares! –Le reclamó Todomatsu. -Burazzas…- -¡Pienso que deberíamos esperar! –Gritó Choromatsu con las manos a la altura del pecho. -¿A quién? ¡Cada vez están brillando menos! – -O-oigan… - -¡Enchufémoslos! –Animó Jyushimatsu. -¡No lo digas así, Jyushimatsu-niisan! ¡Espera un poco! – -Hey, chicos… - -¡¿Qué diablos quieres?! –Gritaron Osomatsu, Choromatsu y Todomatsu al mismo tiempo, más que hartos de seguir ignorando la insistencia. -Creo que mi other me no se siente muy bien…-Farfulló apuntando a su costado. -¿Eh? – Fue cuando todos le pusieron atención al otro Karamatsu de sudadera azul. El Omega se estaba sujetando el vientre entre tiritones imperceptibles, encorvándose cada vez más a medida que el rubor en su rostro aumentaba. El sudor superficial de su frente le daba aires de estar sufriendo algún grado de fiebre que ya no podía disimular, incitándolo a inhalar por más oxígeno para refrescarse los pulmones. -O-oye, eso no es bueno –Dijo Osomatsu sin saber qué más decir. -¿S-se enferma justo ahora? –Habló Todomatsu nervioso. El Karamatsu de saco negro se acercó al Omega para comprobar su estado –Hey, ¿Estás bien? –Tanteó con voz seca sujetándolo del brazo. -Ahora que lo dicen, huele sumamente fuerte –Dijo el Kitsune arrugando la nariz al saber el origen concreto de ese dulzor. -¿No creen que su hermano sepa qué hacer? –Opinó Jade. Y todas las miradas se enfocaron en buscar al Alfa, el cual se encontraba enroscado en una esquina del cuarto, cubriéndose la nariz pretendiendo estar concentrado en otra cosa. -¿Jyushimatsu-san? –Llamó la monja no muy lejos de él. No obtuvo respuesta. -Hey, di algo –Exigió Yuki-onna del otro lado. -¡No se acerquen más a él! –Advirtió el zorro antes de que se oyera un fuerte gruñido. Un claro bufido de “No se acerquen”. El mafioso azulino se molestó al oírlo -¿De verdad crees que es momento de reaccionar así? – -¡No lo acerquen a mí! –Gritó el Alfa sin despegarse del rincón, destapándose el rostro para tragar saliva antes de hablar otra vez –K-karamatsu-niisan acaba de entrar en celo – -¡¿C-cómo?! –Gritaron los sextillizos. Fue entonces cuando la habitación entera se iluminó de una potente aura verdosa, como si estuviesen dentro de una cabina futurista recibiendo turbulencia. Megami se levantó de su sitio con un solo salto, irradiando más luz verde de su cuerpo. -¡Prepárense! –Gritó a viva voz -¡Lo encontré! ¡Iremos donde está el Demonio! –Anunció con una severidad temible. -¡¿Justo ahora?! –Exclamó Osomatsu -¡Espera! – Sin embargo, una fuerte conmoción los cegó a todos. La tele transportación fue inmediata, enviándolos directo hacia esa eterna oscuridad que no tenía recovecos ni fin. Abrieron los ojos pretendiendo despertar de un sueño demasiado abrupto, con la cabeza palpitando por dar tantas vueltas interestelares. -¡Ah, no lo puedo creer, si lo hicieron a tiempo! –Festejó el Todomatsu de las velas descendiendo de un solo salto, sacudiendo su vestido. Observaron a todos los presentes de forma intercalada, algunos sin poder procesar todavía que ya estaban frente a frente. De hecho, el Osomatsu de camiseta apenas y había dejado de morderse las uñas para darse cuenta que ya estaban donde quería llegar. -¡Ichimatsu! –Gritó sin siquiera poder encontrarlo con la mirada. -¡Osomachu-niisan! –Recibió en respuesta. Ahí estaba, de pie restregándose un ojo y apretando la yukata púrpura detrás del Nekomata. Tuvo la intención de ir hasta el mayor, pero el Yokai se lo impidió. -Oye, oye. De verdad pensé que no lo lograrían. Hasta imaginé que me comería su alma antes de tiempo para ponerle más emoción a la cosa –Comentó el demonio aleteando con lentitud, sin sacarse las manos de los bolsillos. Un halo de luz verdosa atravesó su aura vital de una sola estocada, tan rápida que apenas pudo mover la cabeza para recibir una certera cortada en la mejilla izquierda. -¡Ay! –Chilló con molestia en vez de dolor -¡¿Y se supone que yo soy el inadaptado?! ¡Ni siquiera se puede hablar contigo! – -No tengo tiempo para eso –Espetó Megami dibujando frente a él un pentagrama de caracteres indescifrables –Devuélveme la fuente de energía antes de que sigas ocasionando más problemas – -¡Sí, claro! –Se burló el demonio -¿Crees que por ser tú, haré lo que me ordenes? ¡No puedes resistir que alguien se te haya puesto en contra! –Dijo desenfundándose las manos. -¡Suficiente! –Exclamó el Dios –Te juzgaré aquí y ahora por tratar de interferir con los universos –Extendiendo una de sus palmas, Megami procedió a iluminar con más fulgor las líneas que había marcado en la nada, enviando toda esa luminiscencia hacia su objetivo en una ráfaga que apenas pudo ver. Pero algo anduvo mal. El ser demoníaco apenas se movió de su lugar, logrando que con solo su presencia la luz se desviara hacia atrás de sí mismo. Un campo rojizo se distinguió a su alrededor frenando lo que sea que quisiera tocarlo. -¡Uuuh! –Emitió con una sonrisa -¿Algo anda mal contigo? Eso no me rozó ni las narices –Y tan rápido como pudo comenzó a trazar un pentáculo invertido de rojo penetrante, realizando la misma acción que efectuaron contra él. Megami alzó una de sus manos otra vez para enviar de un solo manotazo esa carga maléfica por sobre su cabeza, demostrando que eso todavía no era suficiente para detenerlo. No obstante, él sabía que de haber estado en un estado más óptimo, ni siquiera hubiese sido necesario parpadear. -Tendrás que hacer un mejor esfuerzo si quieres herirme, Kami-sama. Hay más seres que piensan que tantos universos son innecesarios, y sólo me queda encontrar la fuente original para borrar a todos los demás – El Dodomeki se fue acercando lentamente hacia los invitados, levitando de maneras ondeantes las vendas que le cubrían los brazos. El Karamatsu y el Jyushimatsu del pino negro bajaron su mano derecha para materializar una masa viscosa que les bajó desde la manga, transformándose en el mismo aparato grotesco de protuberancias y venas palpitantes de colores, asimilando una pistola de mal gusto. -Q-qué diablos es eso –Retrocedió Jade con un murmullo. -Escuchen –Llamó Megami sin perder de vista a su rival –Protejan a los sextillizos. No piensen en derrotar a ninguno de ellos, eso sería una pérdida de tiempo. Sólo procuren refrenar los ataques – -Lo dices como si fuera cosa fácil… -Farfulló Osomatsu con sonrisa nerviosa. -No lo es –Prosiguió el Dios realizando movimientos con los brazos, flexionándolos entre sí para conjurar un pentágono enorme de vidrio verdoso –No subestimen a ninguno de ellos, y por sobre todas las cosas, tengan mucho cuidado con él –Les dijo apuntándole con la mirada. El Todomatsu de vestido se cubrió la risilla socarrona con el dorso de la mano, simulando no haber oído nada. Se quedó ahí estático, reposando en el aire a la expectación de lo que ocurriría. -¿Estás seguro? No parece tan nocivo como los demás –Opinó Choromatsu observándolo. -Está hablando de Totty, Shikomatsu. Del monstruo seco –Comentó Osomatsu. -¡O-oye! –Berreó el de sudadera rosa. El Don retiró del interior de su saco su revólver mientras se acomodaba el sombrero –Dos de ellos son humanos, lo que significa que pueden morir si les disparo –Dijo sonriendo. El Karamatsu de camisa se enfundó el guante sin dedos antes de tomar su propia arma –Si son unos buenos para nada como ustedes, entonces no tienen experiencia usando armas – -¡Bien! Son todos suyos, entonces –Se desligó Osomatsu haciendo una seña de despedida con dos dedos. -Tengan mucho cuidado, esas atrocidades están cargadas de energía maligna –Advirtió el párroco abriendo su biblia, dejando que ésta levitara para poder sujetar su relicario con una mano y expeler una luz blanca desde la otra. -Insisto, son todos suy- -¡Eeeh, monja-san! –Gritó Jyushiri ante el sobresalto que le dio. La religiosa no esperó más habladuría y dio dos zancadas largas hacia el frente, invocando una ametralladora que disparó directo a matar. Esta vez sí hizo ruido, dando con toda su potencia en dirección al Nekomata que no se aturdió ante el arrebato que lo amenazó. Al Yokai le tomó menos de un segundo levantar sus dos colas para posicionarlas frente a él, generando un campo de fuerza que no se vislumbró. Las balas rebotaban en la nada y se perdían entre la oscuridad antes de siquiera pensar en darle al espacio protegido del Nekomata.Los casquillos cayeron en un montón de tintineos después de que el ataque cesó, desvaneciéndose al mismo tiempo que lo hizo el arma que los utilizó. La ametralladora se esfumó en varias burbujas que la monja aprovechó como distracción para retirarse las dos semi-automáticas que traía bajo el hábito, procediendo a disparar otra vez. -¡Mentira! –Chilló Todomatsu con el conejo subiéndose a sus brazos de un salto. -¡Monja-san es muy rápida! –Animó Jyushimatsu haciéndole barras desde atrás, sin siquiera pasársele por la mente cómo es que lo hacía para sostener un armatroste metálico tan gigantesco con esos brazos tan delgados. -…No creo que se refiera a eso, Jyushimatsu –Farfulló Ichimatsu con la boca abierta. Una ventisca helada le trajo un escalofrío a la religiosa que le obligó a detener el fuego por un momento, percatándose de la fuerza que retomó después de atravesarla para azotarse contra el área que protegía al Nekomata. Éste se erizó con las pupilas contraídas, mostrando los colmillos en advertencia. -Uh –Se burló Yuki-onna avanzando con lentitud, situándose al lado de la monja –Parece que al gatito no le gusta el frío – El Osomatsu de camiseta dio varios pasos apresurados, obligándose a sí mismo a llegar lo más cerca que pudo hasta donde se encontraba el Yokai de orejas negras. -¡Devuélveme a Ichimatsu, rata de dos colas! –Espetó esquivando con las manos a las dos personas que habían atacado primero, abriéndose el paso antes de ser despedido hacia atrás con un poderoso azote de aire. El Nekomata sacó las garras -¿Y debo permitir que un humano como este me hable así? – -No –Contestó el Demonio después de una fuerte carcajada –No tienen por qué hacerlo. Pueden borrarlos cuando quieran –Dijo dándoles pauta. Ah…eso definitivamente no era muy bueno que digamos.Con una de sus garras levantadas, el Yokai flexionó los dedos para moverlos como si manipulase una marioneta inexistente. Del suelo se levantaron diminutas partículas negras que se desprendían de la negrura como si esta burbujease, transformándose en millones de bolitas púrpuras que se repartieron por todo el sector. -¿No creen que deberíamos equilibrar las cosas un poco? Así resultará más divertido de lo que creen –Les dijo el demonio chasqueando los dedos, tocándose a sí mismo el centro de la frente con el dedo índice. Miró a Osomatsu.Y le sonrió. Megami no logró prever lo que sucedería, lo primero que hizo en ese instante fue protegerlos a todos de algún ataque próximo a venir; uno que jamás llegó. De la cabeza de los sextillizos se despegaron bolas negras rodeadas de una luz blanca, desenganchándose de cada una de sus frentes con rapidez para dejar una estela a su paso. Trataron de sujetarlas sin comprender qué sucedía, dejando que escaparan hacia el medio de ambos bandos. -¡¿Qué es- Osomatsu enmudeció de inmediato, y la imagen de una mano estampándose contra sus ojos fue lo primero que se le vino a la mente. Recuerdos similares asaltaron la memoria de los demás, coincidiendo en que ya habían tenido esa sensación antes.“Te dejaré este pequeño regalo por aquí” Rememoró Todomatsu entre un escalofrío, todavía sosteniéndose la frente. -¡¿Qué nos quitaste?! –Exclamó el menor de los seis sin saber si preguntárselo directamente a su otro yo o al demonio. El último fue el que se tomó la palabra –Oh, nada en especial. Sólo estoy pidiendo de vuelta algo que les presté – Y desde la base de las esferas comenzaron a desplegarse varias más por los costados, todas vibrando como si tuviesen gusanos por dentro. Se expandieron en distintas formas, fusionándose con las bolitas púrpuras para acelerar su proceso, creando decenas de siluetas negras que nacían desde el centro de la frente. De un aspecto humano aterrador, como la fotografía de una sombra; sin ojos, sin nariz, ni ningún detalle físico. Excepto la boca, una que se extendía conforme en lo que hacía: Sonrientes, cerradas, molestas, inexpresivas.Eran ellos mismos, en marionetas que se tambaleaban sin entender muy bien qué hacer. -No se preocupen –Dijo el de cuernos y traje celeste –Esta será la última vez que vean tantos clones de ustedes –Y dicho esto, las siluetas procedieron a abalanzarse contra todos los demás. Lanzaban golpes como personajes sin identidad, ciegos, que al ser un gran bulto estancaban a los demás. -¡Atrás! –Gritó Megami extendiendo los brazos, disipando varias sombras al hacerlo. A pesar de que le hicieron caso, terminaron fraccionándose en grupos sin haberlo premeditado. Los sextillizos quedaron hasta el fondo, acompañados de Jade, Jyushiri y el Omega; quien fue jaloneado hasta quedar junto a Karamatsu. -¡Karamatsu-san! –Llamó el Alfa con desesperación -¡Por favor, cuida de Karamatsu-niisan! N-no puedo acercarme a él por ahora…así que, por favor… -Pidió retrocediendo lentamente, girándose antes de escuchar una respuesta. -¡¿Qué?! –Fue lo primero que soltó el segundo hermano apenas el Omega se aferró a su brazo – ¡E-espera! Ehh…D-digo…Heh, claro que puedes contar conmigo, other burazza. Confía en mi –Dijo con la pose más ridícula que se le ocurrió, sin creérselo de principio. Y es que verse a sí mismo restregándose con esa efervescencia contra su propio brazo no era algo que lo relajara mucho que digamos. El Anti Karamatsu y el Anti Jyushimatsu levantaron sus armas al mismo tiempo, amagando con dispararle a quién fuese. No obstante, el Don y el mafioso de azul fueron más rápidos que ellos. Dieron comienzo al fuego antes de siquiera parpadear, dándoles en una de las protuberancias que salían desde la mira para alzarla con el impacto. El Jyushimatsu Alfa divisó la oportunidad y se abrió paso entre la cantidad de siluetas que pretendían cortarle el camino, empujándolos con tanta fuerza que se disolvían al caer un par de metros más allá. Brincó lo más alto que pudo, con los sentidos dilatados por las feromonas de Omega en celo mezclándose con la sensación de peligro que ya de por sí la situación le daba. Así que sus músculos no midieron su capacidad, sus garras salieron aún más y sus colmillos se vieron más grandes al gruñirles desde cerca. Cayó sobre ellos apoyándose en sus hombros, rugiéndole a su rostro idéntico mientras le apretaba los brazos con violencia. El Karamatsu del logo negro le apuntó directamente a la cabeza; no porque tuviera un sentimiento de proteger a su hermano, sino porque tenía un objetivo tan cerca que podría volarle los sesos en un abrir y cerrar de ojos. O eso pensó, hasta que una bala se incrustó en su hombro izquierdo haciéndole perder la concentración. Miró hacia la pistola que le acaba de disparar, fijándose que el Karamatsu de camisa azul se acercaba con intenciones de darle otro tiro. El otro Jyushimatsu también trastrabilló. El Don le había impactado un disparo en la pierna derecha, siendo abatido con facilidad por el Alpha sobre él. Movió el brazo para detonarle el estómago a quema ropa sin ningún éxito, ya que la agilidad ajena fue mucho más rápida que sus propios sentidos paralizados.Fue necesario otro tiro más para que el otro Karamatsu se doblegara y no respondiera en contra, agachándose en su sitio, todavía con las manos aferradas al aparato. -¿Deberíamos matarlos? –Inquirió el Don lanzando un segundo tiro contra la sudadera amarilla, asegurándose de que la tela se había abierto en la parte del antebrazo. -Sí –Contestó el mafioso de azul mientras recargaba – Dales en la cabeza – Sin embargo, la espalda del Alpha retrocediendo les hizo replantearse la idea una fracción de segundo más. Y fue entonces que cayeron en cuenta de algo que deberían haber considerado desde el principio como el par de asesinos que eran.Ninguno de los hermanos sangró, ni gritó, ni lloró. De hecho, sólo se habían ralentizado. -Así que es cierto –Dijo el otro Jyushimatsu sentándose con las piernas flexionadas. Los agujeros sanaron en la piel descubierta y la fibra se cerró como si nada la hubiese roto. Lo único que necesitó fue el toque de una tinta negra que reptó por todo su cuerpo, arrastrándose hasta las protuberancias de colores. -Ustedes no pueden hacernos daño – Y eso…era definitivamente malo. Los sextillizos junto con los demás se fueron comprimiendo poco a poco, presionados por la cantidad de sombras intimidantes y el festival de rarezas que se había desatado. Las cosas eran cada vez más extrañas y se tornaban peor conforme pasaban los segundos. Choromatsu chocó la vista por accidente con el Dodomeki, recibiendo esa misma seriedad e intimidación con la que lo trató en un principio, asustándose por el súbito cambio de ambiente que eso causó. Levantó el brazo redirigiendo las vendas hacia el tercer hijo mientras se acomodaba los lentes con actitud despectiva, mostrándole el ojo que residía en el dorso de su mano; que se fijó todo el tiempo en él.Aahh… ¡Mierda! -¡Lux sancta! –Vociferó el párroco intercediéndose en el camino, dejando fluir una potente luminiscencia de su mano derecha. La chica mágica levantó su brazo para invocar su báculo rosa, lanzándolo hacia el Yokai sin meditárselo dos veces. El arpón destrozó con violencia las telas ondeantes que pretendían seguir avanzando, quedándose estancado antes de llegar a su destino y procediendo a regresar a las manos de su dueña. -¡Qué arrogante eres! –Dijo haciéndole desaires –Pero no importa, ¡Estoy acostumbrada a tratar con monstruos desagradables como tú después de todo! – El Dodomeki le sonrió con sarcasmo, abriendo todos los ojos que tenía a la vista para plantarlos en ella. ¿Cuándo había sido la última vez que quiso desfigurar tanto a una persona? -¡Oye, oye! –Llamó el Kitsune mirando hacia arriba, moviendo las colas -¿Qué estás esperando? ¡Ven a jugar conmigo! – El guardián mágico se aproximó a la defensiva, apretando la llave con fuerza –Ten cuidado, zorro –Advirtió cerrando el entrecejo. -¿Y a ti quién te dijo que me podías llamar así? ¡Soy un ser poderoso! –Berreó el Yokai. -Hi –hi –hi -Se mofó el Todomatsu de vestido rosa desde las alturas -¿Pretenden ustedes dos ir contra mí? – -¿Qué? ¿Te asusta que termine lo que empecé? – El aludido lo miró con soberbia, descendiendo sólo un poco para volver a acomodarse con elegancia el falso pomposo –Oh no, no. Nada de eso. Es más bien…lástima – -¡Apuesto a que la tendrás después de darte cuenta de lo que te haré! – Las siete colas se irguieron de inmediato, iluminándose en cada punta un fuego fatuo azul que se extendió por toda el área. Los colmillos se estiraron y las pupilas se contrajeron en una franja delgada. Esta vez sí apuntaron a un solo ángulo, lanzando un destello fulminante que apenas y le acarició las pestañas al Todomatsu de sombrero gracioso. Más bien se deshizo en contraste con el campo de fuerza contrario, el cual daba la impresión de ser una esfera rosácea de cristal. -¡Encén! –Invocó el guardián mágico con un dedo sobre su libro abierto, apareciendo bajo el campo de fuerza una llamarada que lo hizo hervir en un tono amarillento. Aún y así el Todomatsu de vestido no se movió de su sitio, tan sólo les hizo un gesto de sentirse súbitamente más acalorado que antes para burlarse de ellos. -¡No tienes por qué ayudarme, esa presa es mía! –Gritó ofendido el zorro mientras juntaba los dedos índice y anular, como si fuese el movimiento de una sacerdotisa. -Aquí no hay presas –Rectificó el guardián –No lo ataques más, mantente a la defensiva por si es que decide moverse – -¿Debería hacerte caso? –Se quejó en medio de una risa mal montada –Está justo ahí, es tan fácil como un tiro al blanco – -Hay una razón por la que está tan tranquilo, y es que confía demasiado en sus propias capacidades… - -¡Igual que yo! Probablemente sólo está fanfarroneando demasiado, lo único que hay que hacer es sacarlo de esa burbuja a la fuerza – -¿De verdad eres un ser guardián? ¿Sabes lo complicado que puede ser destruir el campo de fuerza enemigo? –Inquirió el mago levantándole una ceja. -Pfft –Gruñó el Kitsune –No necesito que nadie me venga a decir lo que puedo y no puedo hacer – -¡Cuidado! – -¡Ah! – En un instante un montón de sombras se abalanzaron sobre el Yokai de rojo suprimiéndolo con torpeza, siendo deshechos por un solo movimiento de garras. -¡No te estás concentrando! –Reprendió el Guardián mágico, repeliendo los que estaban a su alrededor al batir la llave en una dirección. -¡¿Por qué ustedes dos son siempre tan idiotas?! –Gritó Todomatsu bastante más atrás, apretando al conejo de pura pataleta. Eran unos imbéciles, ¡Se suponía que tenían que hacer algo, o los iban a matar a todos ellos! -¿A quién te refieres? –Tanteó Choromatsu achinándole los ojos. -¡Hay que ayudarlos! –Canturreó Jyushimatsu con el entusiasmo fluyéndole por las venas. -…Vamos a morir… -Se resignó Ichimatsu sin ninguna convicción positiva. -¡Podemos disfrutar desde aquí y...! ¡Ay! –Chilló Osomatsu con unas garritas afiladas incrustándose hasta llegar debajo de su sudadera, sintiendo un bulto acomodarse sobre su hombro mientras comenzaba a mordisquearle la oreja -¡Ah, tú, pequeño bicho cizañero, bájate de mí! – -¿Percibirán el peligro? –Preguntó Todomatsu fijándose en su animalito. -¡Pobrecitos! –Se lamentó Jyushiri con una sonrisa, palpándole la cabeza al panda rojo que había desistido de su entretención. -Creo que cualquier ser con cabales lo percibiría… -Farfulló Jade ya sin tener dónde más retroceder. Detrás de él estaban los sextillizos, y por delante se encontraban todos los demás batallando con esas tétricas siluetas que no amenizaban la situación. -¡Ugh! – -¡E-e-ehh! ¡Resiste, other me! –Animó Karamatsu siendo jaloneado hacia abajo. Las piernas del Omega cedieron y cualquier fuerza que tuviese en los brazos también, dejándolo apenas con la capacidad de aferrarse contra la otra sudadera azul. -¡Ay, no! –Berreó Osomatsu tocándose la frente -¿Tenía que ser justo ahora? – -¡Oye! –Recriminó Choromatsu por el comentario inoportuno. -¿Qué haremos con él? –Preguntó el sexto hijo. -¿Dará a luz? –Indagó el mayor de todos. -¡¿Qué?! –Se infartó Karamatsu. -¡No está embarazado, par de idiotas! O al menos eso creo –Dijo el tercer hermano. -Se va a morir –Sentenció Ichimatsu al ver la gravedad del caso. -¡¿Por qué eres tan fatídico, Ichimatsu-niisan?! –Reclamó Todomatsu. Karamatsu percibió que el apretón se cerraba aún más, obligándolo a ponerle más atención aún. Su otro yo estaba sudando demasiado, temblaba a intervalos y se mordía los labios con el rostro completamente rojo. -Descuida, other me –Comenzó el segundo hijo con ojos vigorosos –Todo estará bien. El delirio cesará, tu espíritu refulgirá como- -N-necesito a mi Alfa –Murmuró en un desespero casi inaudible –Necesito que Ichimatsu me marque otra vez… - ¿Ichimatsu? Ah, es verdad. Hay otro Ichimatsu que es la pareja de su otro yo, por extraño que sonase en su mente. Lo primero que hizo su cerebro fue ordenarle a sus pupilas que se dirigieran hacia la mancha púrpura más cercana y que la vieran por al menos dos segundos.Al otro Karamatsu se le ocurrió la misma idea. E Ichimatsu tuvo la pésima, mala, terrible y para él; nauseabunda idea de mover sus pupilas un poco más en vez de enfocarlas en Jyushimatsu, topándose con ambas sudaderas azules en un infame error de cálculo y coincidencia.Se observaron.Oh-oh. -¡Apártate, maldita sea! –Vociferaba el Osomatsu de camiseta chocando repetidamente en la nada, apaleando el aire sin poder llegar a tocar la piel del Nekomata. Otra oleada invisible de viento comprimido lo envió a volar lejos, tumbándolo a pesar de resistirse con los pies. La monja aprovechó el movimiento y se acercó más aún, invocando una especie de silenciador con cañón alargado que disparó casi a quemarropa.La bala le atravesó la carne al Yokai como si fuese de mantequilla. La tela púrpura se quemó por el frente y la sangre salpicó por detrás apenas la munición salió del hombro. No tuvo mucho tiempo para pensar en qué había sucedido, el frío le paralizó cada fibra de su ser en millones de agujas que le hicieron sentir sus nervios congelándose. El niño había comenzado a llorar otra vez, con fuerza, con vigor, con miedo. No percibía nada, todo estaba seguro detrás de la pierna de ese extraño gato que lo había llevado hasta ahí. Sin embargo el ruido lo asustaba, lo desestabilizaba y le rompía la poca calma que conseguía al apretar la ropa ajena. La insistencia de su hermano en gritar su nombre lo confundía en qué debía hacer. Mientras tanto el Yokai levantó los brazos lo más alto que pudo, manteniendo de nuevo a raya a quien quisiese acercársele. Su respiración y sus movimientos ya no eran normales y pasivos como antes, estos se volvieron más bruscos entre su propio nerviosismo de sentirse invadido. No obstante dieron efecto, ya nadie se pudo aproximar a él. Por otra parte; el Don y el Karamatsu de camisa azul también habían dejado de mantener la compostura. Se escondían detrás de las sombras utilizándolos como escudos vivos, tirándolos a un lado cuando éstos desaparecían al ser impactados. Los anti-matsus jugaban con ellos como un par de máquinas que no titubeaban al jalar el gatillo, tumbándose de vez en cuando apenas una bala les daba en algún punto vital. Levantándose de nuevo en algún tipo de inmortalidad que no supieron definir.El Alfa ya no estaba al frente, por el contrario, éste se había retirado detrás del par que seguía armado sin saber qué diablos hacer. La chica mágica por su lado se decidía entre defenderse con la barra de su báculo y encontrar alguna apertura para poder atacar. Tanta aura maligna la estaba mareando y el párroco no lograba apuntar apropiadamente hacia la silueta del Dodomeki. -¡¿Qué estás haciendo?! ¡Eres pésimo con las armas! –Exclamó ella más que harta de tener que llevarse todo el peso de la situación. -¡Lo siento! –Respondió el padre -¡Pero si le doy con este revólver, se purificará enseguida! – -¡¿Por qué me estás gritando tus planes?! – -¡¿Eh, no habías preguntado?! –Inquirió asustado. -¡Si él me da, la que va a salir mal de aquí seré yo! –Chilló la pelirosada enardecida. -¡Hu! ¡Confía en mí! – -¡Tengo la suficiente experiencia como para no confiar en esa seguridad! – -¿Eh? – Más allá el Kitsune seguía lanzándole amenazas al Todomatsu de vestido quien todavía no se dignaba a responderles los ataques. Se reía de vez en cuando mientras se revisaba las uñas negras de manera ausente, sintiéndose en un juego de niños que todavía no lograban darle de lleno a un objetivo estático frente a ellos. -¡No funciona, no lo provoques más! –Demandó el Guardián mágico buscando algún otro conjuro que surtiera efecto entre las páginas movibles del libro. -¡¿Provocándolo de qué?! ¡El muy altanero ni siquiera se ha movido de ahí! ¡Me está desesperando! –Respondió el Yokai agotado de tanto lanzar esferas de fuego. -¡Estamos cayendo en su juego! – -¡Sí, ya lo creo! –Contestó sin hacer caso. Por atrás las cosas tampoco iban muy bien. Jade ya había golpeado a un par de sombras que se colaban entre todo ese desastre que se desarrollaba adelante, desvaneciéndolas con apenas unos puñetazos. Éstas eran débiles, aunque seguían siendo muy, muy molestas. -¡Suéltame, Jyushimatsu! ¡Jyushimatsu! – -¡Oh, vamos, eres el único Ichimatsu disponible por ahora! –Animaba Osomatsu empeorando aún más la cosa. -¡No voy a hacerlo! –Chilló éste en respuesta. -¡No sabemos qué hay que hacer, Ichimatsu-niisan! –Persuadió Jyushimatsu dando el efecto contrario. -¡Por esa misma razón no lo haré! – -¡Burazza, tú puedes! – -¡Cállate, Kusomatsu, te mataré! – Si el cuarto hermano podía ser una solución al problema del Omega, entonces lo intentarían. Por extraño o desconocido que fuese, era como lanzar una moneda al aire. Lo malo del asunto es que estaba produciendo el efecto adverso al que se quería llegar. El Omega se estaba estresando de tanto ruido innecesario y de la opresión que aumentaba cada vez que Jyushimatsu arrastraba a Ichimatsu más cerca de su territorio en celo.Además que olía a Beta, para más remate. -¿Y si te restriegas contra él? –Analizó Choromatsu pensando en alguna solución. -¡Mátenme! –Demandó Ichimatsu en una súplica inútil. -¡Oh, por favor! –Exhaló Todomatsu rodando los ojos -¿Por qué no le preguntamos directamente? – -¡Se está orinando! –Anunció Jyushiri apuntando con el dedo. -¡¿Qué?! –Lanzaron en coro. En efecto, el pantalón comenzaba a encharcarse cada vez más. Pero no se trataba de orina, sino más bien de un líquido viscoso que brillaba en las partes más húmedas de la tela. -¡Uuuaahhh! –Se espantó Karamatsu sin saber qué hacer. -¡¿Qué hacemos con él?! –Se preguntó en voz alta el sexto hijo. -¡Necesito a Ichimatsu! –Lloriqueó el Omega como única cosa que había hablado hasta ahora. -¡Bien, Ichimatsu-kun, haz lo tuyo! –Dijo Osomatsu cediéndole el lado. -¡No me jodan! – Pero no se logró llegar a ninguna solución. Una ráfaga de viento los obligó a todos a cubrirse los ojos antes de que siguiera impactándoles el rostro. La contienda se había caldeado entre el demonio y el Dios, cuya ayuda la recibía del ángel que lo apoyaba codo a codo. El intercambio de fusiles luminosos subió a un nivel que ya no pasaba desapercibido para los demás. Las explosiones impactaban con mucha más potencia por todos lados, obligando a algunos a retirarse un poco lejos de su perímetro. -Oye, oye –Se mofó el demonio trazando otro pentagrama frente a él -¿De verdad eres un Dios? No me estás causando ni cosquillas – Megami no respondió. Por el contrario, dibujó otras siglas en el aire las cuales unió con las del ángel que lo imitaba en su costado derecho, formando un enorme círculo mágico que se extendía a lo largo. Fue como una gigantesca granada que reventó en los parámetros enemigos entre rugidos retumbantes y chispas por doquier. El demonio tosió el humo que le entró por la nariz después de tanta energía divina que se había estampado contra él, quitándose el hollín grisáceo que se pegó a su traje celeste. -¡Hijo de puta! –Vociferó limpiándose las trazas de luz que le picaban en el rostro al querer purificarlo -¡Me las vas a pagar! – Y no era sólo habladuría. Puso sus manos una sobre la otra juntando los dedos meñiques, asimilando empujar algo con mucha fuerza; cargando la bola de energía negruzca que comenzaba a rodearse de una refulgencia rojiza, palpitando cada vez que se agrandaba al doble de su tamaño. Se acomodó en medio del pentagrama y lo apuntó directamente sobre Megami, cerciorándose de que fuera a darle de lleno. Éste se preparó de inmediato, pretendiendo recibirlo sin tener intenciones de huir. Sin embargo, no calculó algo en ese instante.El demonio sonrió en el último momento y cerró una de las palmas expuestas sólo para que otra esfera negra saliera eyectada desde ahí. La fuente de energía había traspasado por su cuerpo hasta posicionarse detrás del cañón original, dándole muchísima más fuerza antes de dispararlo sin piedad alguna. Megami abrió los ojos una fracción de segundo después que la fuente lanzase el ataque con potencia. Desistió en defenderse y envió a toda velocidad un campo de fuerza que rodeó a todo el mundo justo antes de que se impactara con fuerza contra él. Fue tan poderoso que no dirimió en quién lo recibiría o no. El viento incontrolable se convirtió en un tornado de arrasó con todos los presentes, enviándolos a volar aún y cuando se encontraban protegidos con magia divina.El Nekomata resbaló cierta distancia a pesar de tener las garras enterradas en el suelo, sujetando al niño que atinó por naturaleza a aferrarse a su único punto de soporte.El Dodomeki ancló las vendas como estacas a la eterna negrura del lugar, sosteniéndose de ahí con todos sus ojos cerrados. La chica mágica y el guardián atinaron a hacer lo mismo con sus báculos, respaldando la base en el piso para poder sostenerse. El resto no tuvo opción, todos salieron despedidos hacia ningún lugar. Se repartieron en fracciones alejadas, sosteniéndose con uñas y pies a la superficie que no ayudaba en lo absoluto a refrenar el viaje de sus cuerpos.Las sombras se dispersaron por montones como quien sopla una vela media apagada.El malestar colectivo se sintió de inmediato apenas todo regresó a como era antes de la explosión. -¡Hey! –Gritó Jade con una toz que le raspaba la garganta -¡¿Están todos bien?! – -E-eso creo… -Habló Jyushiri encima de él. Sus ropas extravagantes fueron lo primero que sujetó antes de volar sin dirección. -¡Me están aplastando! –Chilló Todomatsu debajo de ellos, con el conejo apenas pendiendo de su brazo. -¡Levántense! –Fue lo primero que habló el Don a un lado de ellos, tratando de erguirse aún y con la espalda destruida. Todomatsu se quedó sin palabras. Era imposible, el mafioso de blanco estaba mucho más lejos de ellos antes de que ocurriera esa hecatombe. Era humanamente imposible que pudiera recomponerse después de arrastrarse tantos metros chocando con lo que sea que hubiese en el medio. Y lo era, de hecho. Él no se pudo levantar más allá de lo que su propio cuerpo le permitió. Ichimatsu estaba más allá con Choromatsu y el Osomatsu de camiseta medio aturdido sobre ellos. A su lado estaba la monja y más al frente Yuki-onna que había alcanzado a congelarse los pies. Después venía Osomatsu, Jyushimatsu y el Alfa que estaba fuera de combate, totalmente apaleado después de golpearse la cabeza con alguien más. El párroco estaba por el otro lado apenas consciente, había sido abatido por el Karamatsu de camisa quien no pudo evitar chocar contra él antes de detenerse en el cuerpo del Kitsune. Por otro lado, Karamatsu seguía pegado al Omega que había comenzado a quejarse sin vergüenza, apretando como punto de apoyo la yukata roja del Yokai que se había arrastrado hasta ellos después del impacto anterior. Megami estaba en el suelo junto al ángel herido. Se incorporó como pudo entre tanta neblina que se estaba acumulado a su alrededor, buscando con la mirada al demonio quien no se había movido de su sitio. Los hermanos del logo negro deshicieron el agarre de sus armas; las que mutaron en una sustancia que se mezcló con el suelo para después volver a su forma original. De esta forma resistieron a no salir eyectados. Si las cosas no empeoraron, entonces no podían encontrar otra descripción para decirlo de otra forma. -Oigan, ¿Están bien? –Indagó el Kitsune preocupado de ver cómo el Omega no podía controlar su propia respiración. Y fue tal vez un error el no haber mirado hacia el frente primero. El mafioso de azul estaba frente a ellos, dándoles la espalda, quejándose en voz baja por ponerse de pie después de doblarse el tobillo de esa manera tan dolorosa. Sostuvo el arma que con tanto recelo procuró no soltar; prefiriendo hacerse daño durante el intento, manteniéndola a la altura de su pecho. Respiró una sola vez con los ojos muy abiertos, decidido a dispararle a lo que sea que se estuviese aproximando hasta él entre la bruma. Sin embargo, eso no alcanzó a llegar. O más bien, no tuvo necesidad. Un rayo de luz rosa le atravesó el pecho tan rápido que apenas se dio cuenta por lo delgado que era. La luminiscencia rosácea penetró su cuerpo hasta salir por la espalda e impactarse en una de las manos del Kitsune; que logró intercederse antes de que llegara a alguno de los otros de sudadera. El Karamatsu de camisa azul dejó escapar un ruido inentendible de su garganta y soltó el arma que rebotó contra la nada; en un intento de tocarse el pecho. Todos miraron con horror el enorme agujero que le había perforado la caja torácica, el cual se expandía desvaneciéndolo centímetro a centímetro. Cayó de rodillas sin poder pensar en nada más, y tampoco alcanzó a tocar el suelo con su cuerpo. Todo su ser se había transformado en un montón de lucecitas blancas que se dispersaron como luciérnagas asustadas, haciéndolo desaparecer por completo. “Debo escuchar lo que ellos tienen para decirme” Ya no existía esa posibilidad. Ese Karamatsu jamás podría oír lo que sus hermanos tenían para decirle. Algo se rompió dentro del segundo hermano, de forma literal. Se dobló con un sonido seco, sujetándose el pecho que se le partía en dos de puro dolor. ¿Un ataque? ¿Era así como se sentía un infarto en esos precisos momentos? Dolía, dolía muchísimo. Tanto que se tuvo que morder el interior de sus mejillas para no gritarlo. Algo se había desgarrado en su interior pero se detuvo después de hacerlo, dejándole un latente malestar que todavía no se disipaba mientras veía las luces levitar con lentitud frente a él. -¡Karamatsu-san! –Habló el Omega trayéndolo de nuevo a la realidad. -O-oye…no puede ser verdad –Murmuró Osomatsu desde mucho más atrás. El Kitsune se miró la mano que comenzaba a desvanecerse poco a poco, como si le estuviera carcomiendo hacia el brazo. Se asustó, pensó que quizás el ataque también le había hecho daño al segundo sextillizo, además de no poder evitar que eliminaran al otro. -Oohh~ ¿Así de fácil era? – Sus pupilas se empequeñecieron, y lo único que pudo mirar fueron los vuelos rosas moverse mientras descendían. -Oye, zorrito, juguemos un poco. Esta vez sí voy enserio – Antes de que las luces desaparecieran por completo alzándose entre la oscuridad, una bolita luminosa más grande que las demás se levantó hacia las manos del Todomatsu de vestido. Era azul, esponjosa y refulgente. La dejó fluir hacia arriba de nuevo con gracia, hasta llegar a las manos del demonio que la esperó con interés. -Lo mató –Farfulló Jade sin poder parpadear. Jyushiri se tapó la boca con ambas manos mientras gateaba hacia atrás sin saber qué hacer. -¡Bastardo! –Fue lo primero que gritó el Kitsune, erizándose más todavía. Pero antes de que siquiera se pudiera mover pudo avistar un par de vendas por el rabillo de su ojo. Jyushiri gritó aterrada apenas éstas se enroscaron en su tobillo, siendo jalada con violencia en la dirección contraria a la que quería escapar. Jade trató de sujetarla sin éxito, sólo alcanzó a observar cómo se la llevaban entre pataleos desesperados.El Don disparó hacia las telas sin poder romperlas, a cambio de eso recibió otro tiro que envió a volar su revólver a toda velocidad. El Karamatsu del logo negro le arrancó la mano sin meditárselo dos veces, desapareciéndole los dedos que comenzaron a carcomer la carne hacia arriba. -¡Basta! –Dijo la chica mágica estampando su báculo contra el textil hasta cortarlo por completo, rompiendo la cúpula de éste a causa del impacto. No obstante apenas lo hizo, un grito desgarrador le llegó desde atrás. El tobillo de la chica de amarillo ya no existía. Las vendas lo esfumaron justo antes de romperse. El escalofrío grupal se extendió con rapidez. La pelirosada se asustó por el empujón tan repentino que recibió junto con el dolor tan lacerante que le hizo voltear a verse su propio hombro emblanqueciéndose a gran velocidad. El Jyushimatsu del logo negro se había encargado de inmovilizarla. -Oye, oye, oye… - -¿Qué diablos está pasando…? – -Esto no puede… - -¡Atrás! ¡Corran hacia atrás! –Bramó Yuki-onna enviando una potente ventisca que cegó a algunos por un momento. Los sextillizos estaban abrumados. Esas personas que estuvieron pasando tiempo con ellos, hostigándolos con sólo su presencia se estaban muriendo frente a sus ojos. Un sonido seco desvió la atención nuevamente. Megami se estaba enfrentando al demonio otra vez, aguantando la presión de un cañonazo contra el suelo. El ángel abrió ambas manos frente a él mismo; como si fuese a dar un nado de mariposa, y mandó una ola de viento que hizo retroceder a todos los enemigos que estaban a ras de piso. Había gritos, pánico y susurros de incredulidad, sin creerse aún que no estuvieran envueltos en alguna pesadilla. Se levantaron para correr en dirección al centro del gran círculo improvisado en la que consistía su estrategia de defensa, con más sombras que nacían desde la oscuridad para impacientarlos más todavía. -¡Quédense atrás de mí! –Ordenó la religiosa apenas invocando un pequeño revólver con lo que le quedaba de poder mágico. Disparó a diestra y siniestra acabándose el cartucho tan rápido que a duras penas le duró un instante, desechándolo sin más remedio que rebuscar entre sus ropas por algún armamento de emergencia. -¡Ha-hay más sombras por aquí! –Gritó Choromatsu volteando hacia atrás, seguido de Ichimatsu y el Osomatsu de camiseta que se resistía a no seguir avanzando. Por otro lado, Jade se encargaba de levantar a Jyushiri para sacarla de ahí. Todomatsu y el Don lo seguían de cerca, atrincherándose cerca de los demás. -¡Todo-san! –Llamó el párroco eliminando otra de las vendas que se aproximaban a la chica. Se desquebrajaron como hilos de pintura seca, cayendo sin vida entre la negrura del suelo. El padre no estaba bien, la cabeza le daba vueltas y el esfuerzo de utilizar lo poco de magia divina que le quedaba le estaban revolviendo el estómago. Él ya no podía seguir exorcizando más en esa condición. -¡Esto es una locura! –Gritó la pelirosada golpeando con el báculo las sombras que pretendían acercársele. El Dodomeki seguía enfrascado en atacarla, así que ella también había perdido la capacidad de luchar con varios enemigos a la vez.Ambos retrocedieron. -¡Ve con tus hermanos, yo me encargo! –Demandó el Kitsune interponiéndose. Karamatsu pensó en negarse, pero no pudo. El miedo se estaba agolpando en su garganta y su pecho retumbaba a marchas forzadas. Sujetó al cuerpo titilante de su otro yo y echó a correr hasta encontrarse de frente con todos los que se reagrupaban lentamente. Osomatsu y Jyushimatsu lo hacían a paso más lento por estar arrastrando de los hombros al Alfa inconsciente, percatándose de las dos siluetas azules que venían aproximándose hasta ellos. -¡Hey, despierta, grandulón! –Dijo Osomatsu palmeándole el rostro. Era una exageración, dado que el tamaño del Alfa no era ni por asomo ser el de alguien demasiado corpulento. -¡Jyushimatsu! –Habló el Omega observando su estado, sintiendo la necesidad de permanecer al lado de alguien de su manada. -¡No es tiempo de dormir! –Siguió insistiendo el hijo mayor, con el panda rojo reposando en el gorro de su sudadera. Al otro extremo, el guardián mágico todavía permanecía en su lugar, permitiéndole seguir con el objetivo. El Nekomata seguía rehusándose a entregar al infante, así que no le estaba poniéndole las cosas fáciles en primer lugar. La diferencia de fuerzas era diferente y el Yokai lo comprendió de inmediato. Los poderes mágicos que poseía en ese momento no eran ni remotamente comparables a las del Guardián.Sin embargo, las balas de ambos hermanos se concentraron en un nuevo objetivo. El mago se vio forzado a detener el ataque que venía desde la otra dirección, frenando los que también venían del frente. Fue entonces cuando las vendas del Dodomeki lo jalaron hacia atrás por el estómago, empujándolo de un golpe. La eterna oscuridad crujió con violencia y el choque de luces rojas y verdes comenzaron a reflejarse con mucha más intermitencia. Lucía como si el lugar no fuese a aguantar durante mucho tiempo. Trozos negros se desprendieron del cielo inexistente cayendo sobre sus cabezas como un edificio derrumbándose, empeorando la situación.Una nueva ráfaga de viento azotó a quienes pretendían seguir atacando. El ángel estaba utilizando todo su poder para mantenerlos a raya, evitando que siguieran acercándose, aún y cuando él no podía mover sus alas ni sus piernas. -¡Esto se va a caer! –Gritó Todomatsu apretando al conejito con temor. -¡Maldita sea, vamos a morir todos aquí! –Dijo Jade pateando a las sombras que reptaban por el suelo confundiéndose en él, con Jyushiri en sus brazos y el Don de traje apoyándolos al lado, sujetándose la muñeca que seguía desapareciendo. El Nekomata movió las orejas presintiendo lo que sucedía, observando el desorden que ocurría a su alrededor. Era malo, debía aprovechar la oportunidad que surgió entre el intercambio de ataques para escabullirse por la abertura temporal. Ya no había nada más que hacer ahí, así que él tomó una decisión.Miró al niño que en ningún momento había dejado de llorar, apretándolo cerca suyo para agarrarlo de la camisetita púrpura y, de un salto hacia atrás, se mezcló con el profundo negro hasta desaparecer.Huyó. -¡Ichimatsu! ¡Ichimatsu! –Lo llamó desesperadamente el Osomatsu de camiseta, siendo retenido por la monja y Yuki-onna que retrocedió hasta ellos. El guardián mágico analizó la situación que empeoraba en cada segundo. Pensó en las pocas probabilidades de ganar que tenían; más bien, éstas se reducían a cero. El detonante ocurrió cuando una de sus piernas tronó con dolor, quitándole su punto de eje para hacerlo caer. Miró con ojos muy abiertos cómo ésta ya no estaba, su pierna izquierda se desvaneció de inmediato dejándole una estela blanca que seguía extendiéndose por su muslo para seguir borrándolo a paso rápido.El Todomatsu de vestido carcajeó con obvia culpa, deleitándose desde lo alto. El mago apretó los labios, mirando a todos de frente. No lo pensó más. Quitándose el último apoyo que le quedaba, levantó su enorme llave dorada sobre su cabeza y la estampó con fuerza contra el suelo negro haciéndolo retumbar, rugiendo en voz clara, profunda y poderosa: — ¡EXÓRISTOS! — La tierra tembló y un eco se expandió por todo el lugar. Un círculo mágico apareció debajo de los pies de los sextillizos hasta agrandarse por todo el perímetro de la gente que había aparecido con ellos desde el principio. El montón de letras verdes ininteligibles se iluminaron hacia arriba, dándoles la impresión de estar en medio de alguna transmutación.Nadie más se pudo mover, incluso el Dios quedó totalmente inmovilizado. Tampoco nada traspasó hacia ellos, un aura vigorosa los presionaba hacia abajo y los defendía al mismo tiempo.Megami miró al guardián con incertidumbre, entendiendo lo que sucedía. -¡¿Qué está pasando?! –Gritó Osomatsu. -¡Vamos a caer! –Gritó la chica de rosa. -¡Espera! –Espetó Choromatsu con un hilo de voz, observando al culpable de todo eso. -¡No puedo irme de aquí sin Ichimatsu! –Habló el Osomatsu de camiseta, sintiéndose abatido. Pero aún y con todas las dudas y miedos a flor de piel, el círculo se volvió a oscurecer en una oscuridad que ya no pudieron pisar. Un agujero gigantesco se abrió bajo sus pies haciéndolos caer a todos juntos.Choromatsu miró por última vez al guardián antes de perderlo de vista entre la negrura, sintiendo un potente dolor en el pecho que lo dejó sin aire. “Sí. Son mis grandes amigos. Me hacen querer regresar…” Cerró los ojos. La luz día apareció para cegarlos a todos en medio de una calle residencial vacía y cerrada. Cayeron antes de estar a una pequeña altura del suelo, golpeándose contra el concreto en una mazamorra de gente que se apiló una con la otra. Un cielo anaranjado se posaba sobre sus cabezas para anunciarles que la tarde ya había caído y que otro día había pasado velozmente frente a sus narices. Choromatsu tosió con fuerza y se quejó en voz alta del intenso malestar que le taladraba el corazón, mientras que Megami y el ángel comenzaban en silencio a detener el proceso de desvanecimiento en los miembros de los humanos atacados. El Osomatsu de camiseta cayó de rodillas y golpeó el suelo con ambos puños, gruñendo con impotencia. Todo eso no era justo…no lo era. La pesadumbre cayó como un balde de agua fría. No habían conseguido nada, sólo obtuvieron pérdidas y nada más. Pero a pesar de eso el aire se distorsionó frente a ellos llamándoles la atención. Una línea negra se abrió como una capa y desde ahí saltó un cuerpo de manera sublime, sonando sus getas de madera al tocar el concreto. Pero no venía solo, una vez estuvo en suelo firme bajó al pequeño cuerpecito que reposaba bajo su brazo. -¡I-ichimatsu! – -¡Oniichan! –Respondió éste. Tuvo muchas ganas de ir y abrazar a su hermano mayor con fuerza, pero se contuvo. Se volteó a mirar al Nekomata quien se inclinó frente a él, apenas sonriéndole con su rostro perezoso. -Ahí está tu hermano, ahora puedes regresar –Murmuró en voz suave, entristeciendo el gesto -…Lo siento – El niño le sonrió, sorprendiéndolo. Levantó una de sus manitos y le palpó la cabeza varias veces, acariciándole las orejas negras que desde un principio había buscado. -Gatito –Dijo el niño, sintiendo el ronroneo del Nekomata que se relajó bajo su tacto. Olía dulce…como a galletas de mantequilla. Varios se pusieron a la defensiva, pero Megami levantó un brazo negando lentamente con la cabeza. Ya no era necesario hacer nada más. -¡Gracias, gatito! –Exclamó el pequeño Ichimatsu girándose, corriendo hacia los brazos de un preocupado hermano mayor que lo estrechó contra su pecho. El Nekomata se levantó, mirando a todos los presentes con semblante impasible, percibiendo la brisa rozarle la yukata. Nadie supo qué decir, la situación de por sí era impensable. Pero a pesar de eso, el Kitsune se decidió a hablar: -¿Qué es lo que harás ahora, Nekomata? – El Yokai miró al otro sonriendo un poco, suspirando en resignación. -Me iré –Dijo el de dos colas. Yuki-onna se adelantó - ¿A dónde te irás? Acabas de traicionar al demonio. Para empezar, no entiendo qué te hizo cambiar de opinión – -Un mundo sin nada que hacer es demasiado aburrido –Habló asintiendo –Pero…he visto a una persona que por primera vez, no quiero que desaparezca – Pequeñas e imperceptibles lucecitas blancas se fueron desprendiendo de sus colas, y luego se fueron expandiendo hasta salir de todo su cuerpo. Se apuntó el pecho con un dedo para después juntar el índice y el pulgar frente a su ojo derecho, mirando a través de ellos a los sextillizos. -Escuchen –Dijo transparentándose –La respuesta se encuentra a simple vista, sólo tienen que ver más allá de ella… – Y, dicho esto, se convirtió en millones de bolitas luminosas. Una esfera más grande que las demás se alzó de color morado, flotando hasta posarse en las palmas del Dios y fundirse en ellas. El Nekomata había desaparecido.Se rindió. Lux sancta: “Luz santa” en Latín. Encén: “¡Enciéndete!” En catalán Exóristos: “Destierro” en griego Εξόριστος ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- * La casa no retomó sus ánimos a pesar de haber obtenido de vuelta lo que perdieron. Por el contrario, hubo más pérdidas de las que jamás pensaron. Esa mañana Matsuyo ni Matsuzo se despertaron. No importaba mucho en realidad que su padre no se levantara en su día libre, pero su madre…ella era indispensable en el esquema tradicional de su hogar, por no decir que los sextillizos no sabían hacer prácticamente nada. -¿Estás seguro que ellos estarán bien así? –Le inquirió Choromatsu a Megami mientras éste apoyaba sus manos en su espalda, dejando salir luz de ahí. -Sí, no hay problema. Incrementé la magia que rodeaba la casa, por lo que sus cuerpos no soportan la carga ante el otro hechizo que les impuse. Una vez que nos vayamos, sus padres volverán a la normalidad en un par de horas –Contestó sintiéndose restaurado. Ah, todo volvería a la normalidad después. ¿Era eso realmente cierto, o sólo era un eufemismo? Por cómo iban las cosas, nunca podrían recuperar esa tremenda falla que había significado perder a dos de los suyos.Todavía dolía dentro de él esa contracción que le dio su corazón el día de ayer, después de perder de vista al Guardián mágico. -¿Qué pasará…con ellos? –Preguntó sin poder sacárselos de la cabeza. Megami bajó las manos una vez que terminó de restituir su energía, hablando con voz suave –Sus almas están con el demonio en estos momentos – -Están muertos – Todos voltearon a mirar al Don que permanecía contra la pared, revisándose con insistencia la mano que había regresado a su lugar como si no se la hubiesen arrancado. Lo peor del caso fue que nadie se atrevió a contradecirlo. -Eso no es del todo cierto –Intervino Megami antes de que el ambiente siguiera decayendo –Sus cuerpos físicos no pueden morir mientras los ataquen con magia en este universo, ellos quedan en modo de espera – -¿Así como una llamada telefónica? –Preguntó Jyushiri algo más reservada. -…se podría decir que sí –Continuó el Dios –Sus almas son recolectadas para utilizarlas como pequeñas fuentes de energía, pero si se consumen demasiado eventualmente desaparecerán – -¿Entonces estamos contra el tiempo otra vez? –Consultó Jade desde el otro lado. -Siempre lo hemos estado. Pero el demonio no utilizará esas almas hasta agotarlas, preferirá usar la fuente de energía de nuestro universo para poder recolectar las demás. El problema es si consigue obtener alguna de las suyas –Dijo apuntando a los sextillizos que estaban repartidos por la habitación. -¿Eh, qué quieres decir con eso? – -Creo habérselos dicho antes: Todo indica que este es el universo de origen. Por lo tanto, su energía individual supera a cualquiera de las nuestras –Explicó levantándose –Si absorbe una de sus almas su poder se elevará mucho más allá de lo que ya está – “Tu floja, pajera y sucia alma es mucho más valiosa de lo que tú mismo crees” Las palabras del demonio taladraron con violencia en la cabeza de Osomatsu, y fue ahí cuando Megami posó sus ojos afilados sobre él. -Contigo es aún peor, Osomatsu-san. Si se roba un alma compatible ésta es mucho más efectiva y poderosa, por lo al ser tú el origen de su esencia su magia se convertirá en algo invencible de derrotar – Ah, ahí iba todo de nuevo. Parecía que la culpa volviese a recaer sobre él sólo por el mero hecho de existir. No necesitaba oír toda esa basura cósmica planetaria sobre el no-sé-qué que tenía dentro, él quería regresar a la normalidad para poder volver a hacer nada dentro de esa casa, sin un montón de rostros iguales con poderes extraños. -Bueno, por el momento sólo nos enfocaremos en restituir nuestro poder espiritual. La zona neutral del demonio puede llegar a ser una gran carga para los humanos –Habló Megami aproximándose al rincón de la habitación. -¿De verdad? No me siento debilitado ni nada por el estilo –Comentó Todomatsu al lado de la monja. -¡Eso es porque ustedes tienen un gran poder energético! –Canturreó el ángel al otro lado. El Dios se arrodilló nuevamente en el suelo, esta vez frente a Karamatsu y al Omega que permanecía recostado junto a él. Tomó un buen tiempo en rebobinar la magia que desvanecía los cuerpos en quienes se alojaba, por lo que el drama del celo había pasado por completo a segundo plano, hasta ahora. También tomaron las peores decisiones al no saber con exactitud cómo era que se trataba a un Omega en ese estado, así que hicieron lo contrario a lo “debidamente adecuado”. No lo apartaron del grupo ni del Alfa inconsciente que estaba en el mismo cuarto, por lo que su estrés estaba a niveles altísimos. Sin embargo, la cantidad de olores lo mantenían tan mareado que apenas podía abrir los ojos para gruñirles. Temblaba, sudaba, se quejaba, se removía y excretaba tanto lubricante que su pantalón ya había manchado el tatami.Y aun así no soltaba a Karamatsu. -¿Q-qué vas a hacerle? –Preguntó el segundo hijo cuando le vio poner las manos sobre su otro yo. -No debería hacer esto con los seres vivos, no está bien alterar su propio ciclo natural, pero no puede seguir en este estado con esta situación a cuestas –Dijo Megami expeliendo una luz verdosa que iluminó el cuerpo del Omega como una lámpara. -¡Quiero ir a casa! –Lloriqueó en la medida que su mente se despejaba de la nube borrosa que producía la fiebre, comenzando a destensar sus músculos al sentir cómo se iba el calor de su vientre. Ni siquiera en su primer celo lo había pasado tan mal. De hecho, esa era la época donde mejor trataban a los Omegas, además de siempre tener supresores a mano y al Alfa al cual estaba acoplado. -Jyushimatsu, continúa con los demás –Ordenó el Dios concentrado en su labor. -¡Sí, sí, Megami-sama! – El ángel se acercó a Ichimatsu tan rápido que lo asustó. -¡Ichimatsu-san, ponte aquí por favor! – El cuarto hijo le hizo caso, posicionándose con las piernas flexionadas donde le indicaron. Seguido de eso, el ángel tomó de la mano al pequeño niño que no se había despegado de su hermano mayor, pidiéndole permiso con la mirada para poder guiarlo. Cuando lo consiguió, le colocó sus diminutas manos en la espalda de Ichimatsu. La luz apareció al igual que las veces anteriores, llamándole la atención al infante que con rapidez se sintió lleno de entusiasmo. -Ichimatsu-kun permaneció mucho tiempo en ese espacio neutral, así que su espíritu podría haberse debilitado. ¡Me parece increíble que un humano tan pequeño haya resistido todo eso sin ningún problema! –Exclamó el ser de alas retirándole las manos cuando consideró que ya era suficiente. -¿Eh? ¿Y…estará bien? –Preguntó el Osomatsu de camiseta. -¡Si, ya lo está! ¡No hay de qué preocuparse! –Contestó el ángel. -¡Gracias, murasaki-oniichan! –Agradeció el niño sujetando a Ichimatsu del brazo izquierdo, colocándolo nervioso. -Eh…ah, sí –Soltó él sin saber qué más responder. -¡¿Por qué nadie me dice así?! –Berreó Osomatsu. -¡Porque somos todos adultos, así que detén eso! –Intervino Todomatsu conteniendo la pataleta. -¡Bien, bien! ¡Necesitamos que todos hagan lo mismo! –Dijo el ángel brincando hasta el sextillizo de rosa, guiando las manos de la chica mágica hasta la espalda de éste tal como lo hizo con los demás. -¡Woah! ¡Siento cómo todo mi interior está vibrando! –Gritó ella. -Se me ocurren un montón de cosas con esa frase – -¡Osomatsu-niisan! – -Fu-fun –Farfulló con risa la monja –Que niños tan sucios – -¡No los mire así, shisuta-san! –Gritó el sacerdote desde el frente. -Bien –Dijo Megami después de utilizar su magia –Con esto estará bien – -¿Qué hiciste? –Preguntó Karamatsu de nuevo. -Inhibí su celo temporalmente. De esa forma no se manifestará el calor que lo incapacita a levantarse –Contestó. Y de hecho, el efecto fue inmediato. El Omega parpadeó mucho más repuesto, como si acabase de correr un maratón que ya había terminado. -¿Puedo preguntarte una cosa? –Consultó el segundo hijo aprovechando que tenía tan de cerca al Dios –Cuando mi other me…desapareció –Tragó en una pausa –Algo me atacó, justo aquí después de eso –Dijo tocándose el pecho, apretando el logo al hacerlo -¿Sabes qué podría significar? – -¡Yo también sentí lo mismo antes de caer! –Soltó Choromatsu imitándolo. -¡A Ichimatsu-niisan también le dolía el pecho ayer! –Comentó Jyushimatsu logrando que el cuarto hijo recordara lo sucedido. -No sabría explicarte con detalle pero…lo intentaré –Respondió el Dios mirándolos a intervalos –Imaginen que hay un extenso hilo que los conecta a cada uno: Existen millones de nudos dentro de ese hilo, y cada uno es una parte de ustedes. Y el comienzo de toda esa hebra eres tú y tus hermanos. Los nudos son sus otros yo conectados en cadena, uno junto a otro, entrelazándose con los demás. Ahora, piensa en qué ocurriría si uno de ellos desapareciera de manera inesperada –Megami juntó ambos dedos índices y los separó mostrando una fina línea azul con varias uniones a modo explicativo –Si bien el futuro puede ser sobrescrito durante el presente; todavía existe un destino que está marcado para cada individuo. Las almas de sus otros yo no tendrían que haber sido tomadas por nadie, por lo que al desaparecer sus cuerpos físicos el hilo que las une a ustedes se rompe, y repercute en la fuente que les dio origen – -¡¿Qué quieres decir con eso?! ¡Te das demasiadas vueltas! –Se exasperó Osomatsu. -Lo que quiero decir es que si sus otros yo perecen aquí o sus espíritus son debilitados, ustedes los sextillizos sentirán dolor –Aclaró apuntándose el pecho. Ichimatsu pensó en lo que había dicho el Nekomata cuando se apuntó el pecho a sí mismo. ¿Sería eso a lo que se refería? -Por el momento descansaremos lo suficiente para reestablecer ánimos. Debemos estar mejor preparados para volver si pretendemos salvar la vida de todos los demás –Anunció Megami levantándose otra vez, caminando hasta el Alfa para devolverlo en sí. -¡Esta vez ganaremos-muscle! –Canturreó el ángel guiando al Kitsune hasta Osomatsu entre tropezones. -¡Omera-san necesita un baño primero! –Exclamó Jyushiri apuntándolo. -Se dice Omega, Jyushiri-chan –Le corrigió la pelirosada después de tanto escuchar la denominación.El ángel ya se había dirigido hasta los de sudadera azul, volteando a Karamatsu sin cuidado y colocando las manos del Omega en su espalda. Parecía muy entretenido en su labor a pesar de no tener mucho tacto al hacerlo. -¡Tiremos a la suerte quién limpiará el tatami! –Ofreció Jyushimatsu levantando la mano. -Kusomatsu perdió –Dijo Ichimatsu. -¡Bien, la suerte está decidida! ¡Karamatsu limpiará el tatami! –Anunció Osomatsu. -¡¿EEHH?! – -Buena suerte con eso~ -Se desligó Todomatsu. -¿Qué clase de resultado fue ese? –Inquirió Choromatsu con los ojos entrecerrados. -Oh, ¿Prefieres hacerlo tú en su lugar? –Tanteó el mayor de todos. -Ahh…qué mala suerte la de algunos. Los productos de limpieza están en la despensa –Apuntó el tercer hijo pasando por alto su propia opinión. -¡¿Qué?! ¡No, no, esperen! – -¡Ah! ¡Se está expandiendo! –Dijo Yuki-onna refiriéndose a la mancha. Karamatsu soltó un sonido extraño desde la garganta justo antes de levantarse y tomar de los brazos a un adormecido Omega para sacarlo de ahí, interrumpiendo el proceso de recuperación. -¿Eh? ¡Lo está dejando así! –Habló Osomatsu justo cuando el shoji se cerró frente a ellos. -¡Ah, qué insensibles son ustedes! –Intervino la chica mágica. -Como sea, ya casi es la hora del almuerzo, hay que preparar algo –Dijo Choromatsu levantándose con pesadez, oyendo los sutiles crujidos de estómagos hambrientos. -¡Lancemos a la suerte quién hará la comida! –Ofreció Jyushimatsu otra vez. -Choromatsu perdió –Murmuró Ichimatsu. -¡Bien, la suerte está decidida! –Exclamó Osomatsu. -Buena suerte con eso ~ -Se desligó de nueva cuenta Todomatsu. -¡Ustedes, bastardos! – -Hey, tranquilo, te ayudaré esta vez –Habló Jade levantándose también para acercarse al tercer hijo. -¡Hey, sé hacer un arroz fabuloso, déjenme hacerlo! –Comentó el Osomatsu de camiseta colocándose de pie. -Tenemos arrocera –Contestó Choromatsu. -¡Aún mejor, así es como se hace! –Respondió el otro Osomatsu. Choromatsu no tuvo la oportunidad de rebatirle su poco conocimiento en el tema puesto que según él el arroz se hacía sólo en la máquina y listo; ya que la religiosa lo interrumpió antes de abrir la boca. -Puedo ayudar con los vegetales –Dijo acomodándose el hábito. -¿Eh? Ah, n-no hay- -¿No confías en mis habilidades con los cuchillos? –Intervino sacándose una navaja del cinto. Y oh, con esa mirada Choromatsu no quiso refutarle nada más. -Nosotros podríamos relajarnos en ¡Ay! –Chilló Osomatsu sin lograr terminar su frase. El panda rojo se encaramó sobre él precisamente para morderle la barbilla -¡Tú, bicho peludo! – -Ahora que lo pienso…no sé qué pueden hacer un par de animales en esta situación –Indagó Todomatsu cuando el conejo rosa saltó a sus brazos. -¡Oye, monje! –Llamó el Kitsune. -Soy un sacerdote –Respondió el párroco. -Meh, es casi lo mismo. ¿No tienes algo con qué divertirse? –Inquirió el de siete colas. -Me temo que no. Yo sólo porto las cosas sagradas de- ¡No, no toques eso! –Gritó apenas el Yokai le robó de las manos la biblia que alzó a modo de ejemplo, persiguiéndolo de inmediato apenas éste se echó a correr entre risas. -¡Ah, se ve divertido! ¿Quieres venir, Todo-chan? –Invitó Jyushiri girándose antes de salir. -¿Eehh…? Mhhm…no gracias, me da fastidio perseguirlos por nada –Contestó la chica mágica con indecisión. Jyushiri escaneó a todos los presentes de forma rápida, deteniéndose en una sudadera morada que siempre solía seguirla a todas partes. Sólo le faltó reparar en el hecho de que no era la misma persona. -¡Ichimatsu-chan, ven conmigo! –Exclamó jaloneándolo desde la manga con tanta fuerza que el cuarto hijo tuvo que poner un pie frente a él para no caer de bruces al suelo. Sin esperarlo tampoco, comenzó una carrera para salir de la habitación arrastrando a quien ni siquiera le había dado respuesta. -¡¿Qué?! No…espera un momento –Farfulló el cuarto hijo siguiéndola a toda velocidad para no enredarse con sus propios pies, atravesando el shoji sin cerrarlo. -¡Eso es trampa! –Chilló Osomatsu cuando los vio salir. -¿Niisan? – Los presentes voltearon a mirar al origen de la incógnita. Ahí estaba el Alfa sentado al borde de la pared, tocándose la cabeza como si esta le taladrara. Megami se alejó de él lentamente, sintiendo que lo más probable era que necesitase espacio antes de poder procesar todo lo que no comprendía. -¿Dónde está Karamatsu-niisan? –Volvió a insistir con más claridad, buscando con la mirada al aludido sin tener éxito alguno. -Está arriba –Contestó Todomatsu sin leer el ambiente amenazante que expedía el otro Jyushimatsu. Y fue tal vez una verdadera suerte el que quien haya realizado la respuesta fuera el menor de los sextillizos y no alguien más, porque ver la sudadera rosa fue suficiente para calmar los instintos alterados del Alfa que había perdido de vista a un Omega de su manada después de tanto revuelo. -He neutralizado su celo –Anunció Megami arrodillándose en medio de la habitación –Eso debería ser suficiente para que él esté bien, así que podrás verlo después de que se calme – A decir verdad, el Alfa quería con todas sus fuerzas comprobar si lo que le decían era cierto; su tranca era el casi imperceptible dejo de feromonas que todavía quedaban en el aire, cosquilleándole la nariz cada vez que inhalaba. No, lo mejor era permanecer alejado un momento más. El quinto hijo se acercó hasta su otro yo sin tampoco ser capaz de percibir ningún tipo de hostilidad, acomodándose a su lado en una especie de apoyo moral. ~ * ~* ~~ ~~ ~ * ~* ~~ -…gracias –Murmuró el Omega con voz suave. -Heh –Soltó Karamatsu –No tienes por qué agradecerme, other me. Haré lo que sea con tal de ayudar a alguien que es parte de mi –Dijo en medio de una pose extraña. Una limpieza exprés y un nuevo pantalón fueron suficientes para terminar de despabilar a la contraparte del segundo sextillizo. Si bien se sentían más apretados que lo suyos, eran definitivamente mucho mejor a seguir vistiendo esos jeans viscosos. -Ahora, si me disculpas, el deber me llama –Dijo Karamatsu con dramatismo. Sin querer explicar a detalle que iba a limpiar el lubricante de celo que seguía manchando el tatami de la sala. No obstante, el Omega lo detuvo. Ese agarre desesperado en el borde de su sudadera azul hizo que el segundo hijo desistiera de levantarse para poder observar mejor a ese rostro idéntico suyo. -No te vayas…Por favor, quédate aquí un momento –Pidió sin saber cómo utilizar bien las palabras. Karamatsu aceptó sin decir nada, quedándose con una frase dolorosa en la punta de la lengua. No había tenido oportunidad de poder entablar una conversación sólida con su otro yo, a pesar de que le llamara la atención el cuán diferente podía ser éste de los demás que ya había conocido.Ah, ahí iba otra vez recordando al mafioso de camisa azulina. Se sentía mal, se sentía culpable. Todas esas motivaciones que vio nacer en él se convertían en nada al entender que no podrían hacerse realidad. -¿Quieres hablar de algo en especial? –Tanteó sentándose de piernas cruzadas, pensando en la infinidad de temas ridículos y sosos que tenía en su repertorio para poder romper el hielo, a pesar que la mayoría de las veces no le resultaban así como quería. Recibió una negación con la cabeza. -¿Qué se siente ser un Omega? –Inquirió sin poder evitarlo. Esa pregunta era inesperada para el aludido, puesto que si bien no era la primera vez que se lo preguntaban, no se imaginaba a sí mismo planteándosela frente a él. -¿Qué se siente? –Repitió en voz baja. -Ah, sí, me preguntaba porque…no entiendo nada de eso, y fue un verdadero problem el no saber qué era lo que te sucedía, other me –Contestó en un mal inglés, como siempre lo hacía. -…No sabría decirlo –Respondió el Omega abrazándose las piernas –Para cuando te das cuenta tu vida ya está marcada por un montón de estándares que no puedes ignorar – -¿Estándares? – -En la línea jerárquica; los Omegas somos los últimos de la lista. Los Alfas son los primeros, los líderes, y luego vienen los Betas, quienes están en el medio – -¿Qué gran diferencia es esa? –Indagó sin entender muy bien, pero haciéndose cierta idea de cómo era el tema basándose en las personalidades de quienes tenía en su casa. -Los Alfas son mucho más fuertes que la media normal humana, en este caso los Betas. Ellos son capaces de decidir, guiar y defender lo que sea que se propongan, son cabecillas natos. Su musculatura es mucho más desarrollada y sus colmillos son más duros, tienen garras poderosas y un mejor sentido auditivo –Explicó el Omega con detalle, dando la misma impresión que había dado el Alfa de tener que haber aprendido eso durante toda su vida. -Jyushimatsu es un Alfa –Dijo Karamatsu con obviedad. -Sí, en mi familia Osomatsu, Ichimatsu y Jyushimatsu son Alfas. Mientras que Choromatsu, Todomatsu y yo somos Omegas. Los Omegas están creados para obedecer a los Alfas y reproducirse con ellos, además de cuidar muy bien de sus crías, nada más –Comentó con el mismo tono de voz. Karamatsu hizo una mueca extraña. De cierta manera le parecía cruel. Era como si estuviesen hablando de animales y no de humanos como tal. -¿Por qué dices que sólo sirven para eso? –Tanteó otra vez con precaución. -Porque esa es nuestra función –Respondió con ojos apagados, sin mirarlo a la cara –Los cuerpos de los Omegas son débiles por naturaleza, la fuerza física que podríamos tener similares a los Betas se concentra en nuestros órganos para poder ser un buen receptor durante el celo. No hay otra peculiaridad aparte de nuestro buen olfato y la capacidad de concebir – Y oh, oh por Dios. Eso hizo eco en la cabeza de Karamatsu, porque no se detuvo antes a pensar en eso. Claro, si ellos entraban en celo, entonces eso significaba que era su período para el apareamiento y como tal, para quedar en cinta. Le causó más de un trauma mental el sólo pensarlo. -¿C-cómo fue que terminaron emparejándose entre ustedes? –Preguntó en un debate interno. Por una parte quería seguir curioseando, por otra no quería saber nada más de eso. -Ah, eso fue…algo caótico –Dijo intercalándole miradas con el suelo. ~ * ~* ~~ ~~ ~ * ~* ~~ -¡Fue de un segundo a otro! –Respondió el Alfa rememorando el acontecimiento. -¿Cómo fue? –Insistió Jyushimatsu en la misma encrucijada mental que su hermano. -Antes de la pubertad uno puede saber más o menos qué será cuando se presente el primer celo, o si hay pocas probabilidades que haya uno –Explicó alzando un dedo, sin dejar de sonreír, como si el tema en sí le diera gracia –Nosotros sabíamos que podrían haber tres Alfas, tres Omegas o seis Betas, y quiénes podrían ser los Omegas, ya que por su cuerpo son más fáciles de identificar –Dijo dejando caer sus mangas otra vez –A partir de eso, programan fechas de posible presentación del celo para poder dejar en cuarentena al primerizo sin que haya ningún problema, sin embargo… - ~ * ~* ~~ ~~ ~ * ~* ~~-Presentamos todos al mismo tiempo –Dijo el Omega. -¿Eh? ¿Cómo es eso? –Preguntó Karamatsu. -Nuestro celo se adelantó a las fechas programadas, y estábamos los seis en casa cuando sucedió – ~ * ~* ~~ ~~ ~ * ~* ~~-Ese día papá estaba en el trabajo y mamá estaba fuera realizando las compras, porque aún faltaba mucho tiempo antes de que fuera una fecha peligrosa –Habló el Alfa pensando en cómo habían sucedido las cosas. -¡¿Eh, estaban todos ahí?! –Exclamó Jyushimatsu impresionado. -Sí, y no pudimos evitarlo – ~ * ~* ~~ ~~ ~ * ~* ~~ -El primero en presentar fue Osomatsu –Prosiguió el Omega –El segundo fue Todomatsu y luego muy de cerca Choromatsu. Osomatsu se alteró con sus olores, pero para cuando lo quisimos detener, Jyushimatsu también presentó. Pelearon durante un momento y enseguida se dejaron guiar por los aromas más atractivos. Cuando fue mi turno no supe qué hacer, Ichimatsu no se tardó en ser el último en presentar. Para cuando lo hizo, no tuvo otra opción más que acoplarse conmigo en medio de todo ese frenesí –Relató algo dolido. Karamatsu parpadeó varias veces seguidas. La manera de hablar de su otro yo le hacía sentir lastimero, pensando en él como alguien que poseía una muy poca voluntad y baja autoestima, diferente de su extravagante ser. -¿Cómo es eso que no tuvo otra opción? – ~ * ~* ~~ ~~ ~ * ~* ~~-A decir verdad, las cosas fueron difíciles después. Para cuando nos dimos cuenta de lo que habíamos hecho, ya era demasiado tarde – Jyushimatsu lo miró como si se hubiese hecho bola él mismo -¿Por qué era tarde? ¡Podrían haberse pedido perdón y todo estaría bien! –Dijo con positivismo. El Alfa soltó una carcajada amigable –No es tan fácil. Cuando marcas a una persona tú haces un juramento: Seré tuyo y te cuidaré. La palabra de un Alfa demuestra cuán fuerte es y la de un Omega su poder de lealtad, así que romper ese vínculo de un segundo a otro es impensable. Además de que…por alguna razón lo haces, uno marca a la persona indicada cuando tu corazón te lo ordena a pesar de las circunstancias, así que creo que tiene su respuesta – -¿Te arrepientes? –Consultó curioso. Su otro yo negó con la cabeza –No. El olor de Omega de Todomatsu…me enamoró desde el primer instante. ¡Su aroma es tan dulce! ¡Decidí que quiero estar con él y con mis hermanos el resto de mis días! ¡Regresaré para poder cumplir eso! –Dijo seguro de sí mismo. Feliz. Jyshimatsu también le sonrió -¡Me alegra mucho que seas feliz! –Se detuvo un segundo, pensando en las otras posibilidades –Y… ¿Alguien más lo hizo? ¿Alguno se arrepiente? – -Bueno, sobre eso… - ~ * ~* ~~ ~~ ~ * ~* ~~-Si no hubiese sido por esa situación, Ichimatsu jamás me habría marcado –Contestó el Omega. Karamatsu lo miró con ojos analíticos –Pero ¿No crees que ninguno lo hubiese hecho tampoco? – -¿Eh? N-no…es diferente. Ichimatsu hasta el día de hoy se arrepiente de eso – El Omega se acarició el hombro derecho, cerca de la clavícula, donde probablemente se encontraba una marca similar a la que había mostrado el Alfa durante la cena de hace tres días. -Él sólo me sigue marcando por compromiso, y porque el resto también ha mantenido su palabra, nada más –Dijo cabizbajo. ~ * ~* ~~ ~~ ~ * ~* ~~-¿Lo hace? –Inquirió Jyushimatsu. -Realmente no –Respondió el Alfa –Pero Karamatsu-niisan parece ser el único que no se da cuenta de eso –Explicó tapándose la boca con una de sus mangas -¡Ichimatsu-niisan de verdad quiere a Karamatsu-niisan! Es sólo que puede ser algo brusco de vez en cuando… - Jyushimatsu creyó hacerse una idea. -Pero… -Interrumpió adoptando la misma posición –Si los Omegas son tan frágiles como dices, ¿No es su responsabilidad evitar que eso pase? – El Alfa abrió los ojos lo más que pudo, volteando a mirarlo otra vez como si le planteara una verdad que nunca percibió. ~ * ~* ~~ ~~ ~ * ~* ~~-¡¿Por qué dices eso?! –Intervino Karamatsu en una exclamación que asustó a su contraparte. -Po-porque es cierto –Respondió con un hilo de voz, contrayendo los hombros para asegurarle de forma física al segundo hijo que era él quien tenía el control y que no era necesario alterarse. Pero Karamatsu no supo reconocer el gesto -¡No es verdad! ¡Estoy seguro que malentiendes todo! – -T-tú no lo conoces –Farfulló el Omega encorvado. -¡Ichimatsu no es una mala persona como para hacer eso! Puede tener su carácter… ¡Pero yo conozco a mi burazza! – -¡No son la misma persona! –Dijo el Omega cerrando los ojos, esperando alguna respuesta violenta que no llegó –Ni él ni tu hermano de este mundo, ni tú ni yo nos parecemos en nada –Murmuró sin mirarlo. Karamatsu reparó que de alguna u otra manera, él tenía razón. Sin embargo, no significaba que estuviera del todo errado. -Yo sé que dentro de ti hay ese Cool Man que vive dentro de mí –Dijo con ojos seguros –Sólo tienes que sacarte todos esos miedos que tienes y enfrentar la vida con lo que tenga que darte, ¿Eres un hombre también, no es así? ¡Por lo tanto tienes voz! ¡No vuelvas a bajar la cabeza nunca más! – El Omega se destensó, observándolo como si le dijera algo imposible, pero hermoso de escuchar. -¿Estás diciendo que reniegue de mi papel como Omega? – -Non, non –Negó con el dedo –Pero eso no significa que tengas que vivir así: asustado de todo lo que te rodea. ¡Tienes lo necesario para decirle a tu burazza que tú no eres ningún error por el que tenga que arrepentirse! ¡Díselo fuerte y claro! – -¿Tú crees que…Ichimatsu me quiere? –Tanteó sonriendo con los ojos húmedos. -Heh –Soltó Karamatsu –Estoy seguro de eso. ¡No temas, other me! Tu poder se haya aquí, en tu corazón –Habló tocándose el pecho -¡Tú jamás serás débil mientras tu espíritu se mantenga fuerte! – ~ * ~* ~~ ~~ ~ * ~* ~~El Alfa sonrió algo triste antes de volver a mirar a Jyushimatsu –Tienes razón. Supongo que todo esto de los roles me ha hecho olvidar lo que realmente significa tenerlos y para qué están – -¡Pero no es algo que ya no puedas hacer! –Dijo el quinto hijo -¡Cuando llegues a casa puedes solucionar las cosas! – -Lo haré –Afirmó sonriendo, chocando su cabeza contra la de Jyushimatsu para frotarla con frenesí– ¡Muchas gracias, Jyushimatsu-san! – ~ * ~* ~~ ~~ ~ * ~* ~~-¿Puedo ser fuerte como tú? – -¡Ya lo eres! –Confirmó Karamatsu -¡Al fin y al cabo, no somos diferentes del todo! – De un instante a otro el Omega se lanzó a su cuerpo emocionado, frotando la mejilla contra la suya varias veces para lamerla sin ninguna vergüenza. -¡¿E-espera, qué?! –Exclamó Karamatsu asustado. -¡Muchas gracias, Karamatsu-san! –Agradeció abrazándolo con fuerza, aspirando el aroma a Beta mezclado con colonia que sólo él podría diferenciar. Era como el suyo antes de presentar, uno tan familiar que le dio la suficiente paz como para no despegarse de él durante su propio celo. -Huh –Exhaló el segundo hermano con tono nervioso, logrando una pose dramática –N-no hay de qué, other me – -¿Eh? ¿Qué están haciendo? –Preguntó el sacerdote después de abrir el shoji. Karamatsu tosió con fuerza para aclararse la garganta, atragantándose en el proceso. -No es lo que piensas, Shisai-san –Escupió. El padre parpadeó sin entender -¿Debería ser algo malo? – -¿Ah? – -¡Aaah!-Suspiró - ¡El amor a tu prójimo debe expresarse de la manera más humana posible! ¡Vengan, hermanos míos! – Ninguno de los de sudadera pudo responderle nada antes de que éste se lanzara sobre ellos para envolver uno de sus brazos sobre los hombros de Karamatsu. -Ya veo –Comentó el segundo hijo –Soy un ser diseñado para entregar amor en todas sus facetas, ¡Debí verlo desde el principio! ¡Mi alma rebosa de vitalidad! – Y a ninguno pareció rompérsele alguna costilla. -Todos nosotros somos más parecidos de lo que creemos. Sólo tienes que mirar dentro de tu espíritu y buscarlo –Dijo el párroco. Karamatsu sonrió entre sus rostros idénticos. Qué bien se sentía estar con gente que te entendía tan a la perfección. ~ * ~* ~~ ~~ ~ * ~* ~~-Por favor, no destrocen nuestra cocina –Pidió Choromatsu con resignación. -¡Tranquilo, tranquilo! –Respondió el Osomatsu de camiseta moviendo la mano para restarle importancia -¡Te encontrarás con verdaderos genios culinarios! – -Eso no me importa. Con no quemar nada todo estará bien – -¿Puedo destazar tus verduras? –Preguntó la monja con voz pastosa. -S-sólo córtalas lo suficiente para un curry – -Voy a masacrarlas – -¡Sólo es un curry! –Gritó el tercer hijo desesperado. -Podría comenzar por pelarlas, monja-san –Ofreció Jade extendiéndole un pelador. Pareció surtir efecto, puesto que la religiosa amenguó su emoción antes de aceptarlo. Y Choromatsu agradeció eso internamente. ¡Ah, cuán difícil era encontrar alguien con sentido común ahí! -A decir verdad, no sé mucho de ti –Soltó el de sudadera verde casi sin darse cuenta. Pero antes de que quisiera retractarse Jade ya lo estaba mirando con una sonrisa escueta. -Bueno…no es como si hayamos tenido mucho tiempo para hablar de ese tipo de cosas –Contestó buscando las ollas y sartenes dentro de los estantes. -Sí, tienes razón. Dijiste que estabas en una…banda o algo así –Prosiguió Choromatsu abriendo el refrigerador -¿Qué es lo que tocas? – -El violín eléctrico. De vez en cuando guitarra y algunas veces el bajo –Respondió encontrando un par de cosas que podrían servir. -¿De verdad? Es algo extraño…y normal a la vez – -Entre toda esta locura cualquier cosa parece común y corriente –Habló riéndose –No soy más que un simple humano, al fin y al cabo – Oh, Choromatsu entendía el sentimiento a la perfección. Ver tantas luces y cosas volar por doquier para matarse entre un montón de seres estrafalarios lo hacía sentirse diminuto e inútil. Simple, normal, débil y lo peor; asesinable. Jade le extendió a Choromatsu una olla lo suficientemente honda como para albergar toda la comida que pretendían hacer, cerrando todo lo demás en silencio. -Gracias, eres muy amable –Contestó el de sudadera con simpleza. -No creo serlo, pero gracias de todas formas –Bromeó el de cabello verde. -¿De qué hablas? Sí lo eres, fuiste el primero que quiso ayudarme –Continuó acomodando las cosas en el mesón de cocina. -¡Oye! ¡¿Qué hay de mí?! –Chilló el Osomatsu de camiseta batallando con la arrocera. ¡Era diferente a la que tenía en casa! -¡Bien! También gracias por tu ayuda –Habló adivinando que si debatía al mayor, lo más seguro era que siguiera con un berrinche interminable. Por el otro lado la monja lo miró de reojo con cara de pocos amigos –A-ah…gracias también, monja-san – -Bueno…trataré de ayudar en lo que más pueda –Dijo Jade retomando el comentario anterior –Siento que no soy de utilidad en nada –Comentó sincerándose. -No lo eres en lo absoluto –Se detuvo el tercer hijo a observarlo justo antes de encender la estufa –Nosotros deberíamos decir eso, somos ninis – -Se podría decir que sí pero…ustedes sacan esas cosas brillantes de sus espaldas –Hizo el gesto técnico con las manos, como si un montón de brillantina cayera frente a él. -¡Ah, no lo digas así! –Se sonrojó Choromatsu con vergüenza –No es algo que haga por cuenta propia, ¡Son esas cosas extrañas las que lo hacen! – La religiosa lanzó una navaja hacia los pies del tercer hijo con tanta fuerza que ésta quedó balanceándose con el filo sumergido en el suelo. -¿Estás hablando así de Kami-sama? –Inquirió con voz ronca. -¡Lo siento! –Chilló Choromatsu retrocediendo. ¡Qué jodido miedo! -¡Necesito saber cómo funciona esto! –Exclamó el Osomatsu de camiseta golpeteando la arrocera. -¡Sólo lava el arroz, ponlo ahí, conéctala y aprieta el botón! –Estalló el tercer hijo exasperado. Si no lo mataban antes de terminar la comida, lo volverían loco. Dando una profunda bocanada de aire miró a su propia contraparte buscar los condimentos en la estantería con un semblante algo más decaído, regalándole una sensación extraña, más sin embargo no ajena a él. -¿Por qué deberías sentir que no eres útil en esta situación? –Soltó quedándose quieto. Jade lo miró de vuelta algo desencajado, pensando que la conversación no seguiría por ese rumbo. -¿No crees que es algo obvio? –Tanteó sonriendo –Todo lo que he hecho es esconderme por detrás con miedo a morir, sin siquiera poder o querer hacer algo realmente – -¿Eh? ¡Es algo normal! ¡¿Acaso no lo es?! No podemos lanzar petardos de las manos ni nada parecido –Contestó el de sudadera verde. -Si lo hicieras se te encenderían hasta los pelos del culo –Comentó el de camiseta roja riéndose. La religiosa se carcajeó disimulando sin real afán de ocultarlo –Qué sucio eres, escoria – -¡Ustedes dos definitivamente no son normales! –Chilló Choromatsu sintiendo esas ganas de golpearlos que consideraba tan familiar. Jade sonrió de forma incómoda –OSO me dijo algo similar una vez –Dijo dejando las cosas sobre el mesón. -¿A que se te puede prender en fuego el trasero? – -Me refiero a los petardos –Contestó mosqueado al de rojo, fijándose en cómo Choromatsu peleaba con él para conseguir espacio con el grifo de agua –Hay cosas que a veces simplemente no se pueden realizar – El tercer hijo terminó por perder el lugar frente al lavaplatos después de ser atacado con agua en el rostro, siendo el Osomatsu de camiseta quien pudo lavar el arroz primero. Aprovechó la espera para mirar a Jade mientras se secaba con las mangas. -Puedes intentarlo. Tal vez es imposible conseguir algo por ese medio, pero siempre puedes probar otras rutas para llegar al mismo resultado – -¿Seguimos hablando de los petardos? Creo que me perdí –Habló la monja. -¡¿Por qué toman mi ejemplo como algo literal?! –Prorrumpió el de sudadera –Me refiero a que puede conseguir algo por medio de sus propias capacidades sin tener que buscar cosas imposibles. Tú eres capaz de hacer todo lo que te propongas, deberías tener más confianza en ti mismo – No era como si él mismo lo aplicara para su propia vida, pero Choromatsu solía auto engañarse a pesar de seguir estancado. Jade se fijó en que eran parecidos en eso. -Si, a veces creo que no tengo las suficientes habilidades – -Pues debes cambiar esa manera de pensar, ¡Hey, vas a estropear eso! –Se interrumpió a él mismo para gritarle al de rojo. Jade suspiró con una sonrisa de medio lado, creyendo que tal vez, sólo tal vez, esa parte de él podría tener razón. ~ * ~* ~~ ~~ ~ * ~* ~~ -¡Voy a matar a ese monje! –Chilló el zorro quieto como una estatua. -¡Es un cura! –Corrigió Jyushiri alzando las manos con alegría. -Creo que lo entiende –Farfulló Ichimatsu. -¿Por qué diablos están haciendo tanto ruido? –Inquirió Yuki-onna acercándose a ellos, pensando que salir de la sala para tomar algo de aire no estaría mal. -¡Cura-san lo golpeó aquí con su biblia! –Contestó la chica de amarillo tocando la cabellera del Yokai, quien siguió estático en la misma posición; como si estuviese a punto de perseguir a alguien. El Todomatsu de blanco lanzó una carcajada –No puedo creer que te hayas dejado exorcizar por un humano, ¿Es enserio? –Se burló. -¡Cállate! Sólo me tomó desprevenido, ese maldito religioso –Bufó con cara de pocos amigos. -Eres el Kitsune más tonto que he conocido, ¿Lo sabías? –Le habló Yuki-onna riéndose. -Te mataré a ti también, ¿Quieres ir a buscar a ese tipo de una buena vez por todas? – -¿Crees que fomentaría mi propio asesinato? Olvídalo, espéralo aquí, de todas formas te lo mereces –Dijo sonriendo. -¡Espera hasta que pueda moverme! –Berreó en amenaza. Jyushiri continuó saltando frente a él pretendiendo animarlo. ~ * ~* ~~ ~~ ~ * ~* ~~ -¡Oh, dilo otra vez! –Incentivó Osomatsu. -¡Oniichan! –Exclamó el niño estirándole los brazos. Osomatsu se rascó debajo de la nariz mientras sonreía, sacudiéndole los cabellos como si fuese una especie de premio -¡Buen chico, buen chico! – La chica mágica frunció el ceño –No lo trates como una mascota – -¿Eehh? No lo estoy haciendo –Contestó no muy pendiente de ella, con el panda rojo en uno de sus hombros –Dime, ¿Quién es Osomatsu? – -¡Mi Oniichan! –Respondió el menor sonriéndole con los ojos cerrados. -Qué lindo –Dijo Todomatsu sacándole fotos. Osomatsu casi tuvo un ataque -¡Aahh! ¡¿Por qué no tuve hermanos menores como tú?! ¡Qué lindo! ¡Podría utilizarte para los mandados! –Habló sonriéndole también. El Don zapateó en el suelo con molestia, mirándolo de pie hacia abajo con aura peligrosa -¿Quién serviría para los mandados de quién? –Inquirió metiéndose ambas manos en los bolsillos. Nadie supo en qué momento se levantó. Osomatsu tragó saliva nervioso, con una risa tonta escapando de su boca titubeante. -Uh, no lo decía de esa forma – -¡Don-san no debe molestarse! –Dijo el ángel colgándose desde su espalda, provocando que el Ichimatsu de traje blanco se encorvara hacia adelante. -Jyushimatsu, no saltes sobre las personas así –Le corrigió Megami sentado con las piernas recogidas, dejando ir al conejo rosa que giró en torno a ellos. -¡Si, Megami-sama! –Obedeció de inmediato flotando hacia atrás sin dejar de sonreír. La pelirosada carcajeó disimuladamente, entreteniéndose con ellos –Son todos tan interesantes – Todomatsu la miró de soslayo, dejando su celular un instante -¿No se supone que las chicas mágicas son mucho más interesantes? – -Es diferente –Contestó sonriéndole –Son distintas a todos ustedes, pero mantienen la esencia de cada uno –Dijo recogiendo las piernas. -Mmh…creo que lo estoy entendiendo –Murmuró bajando el celular, fijándose en que el Don, de hecho, no le recriminó nada al ángel. -Si te fijas bien, todos tienen diferentes formas de pensar, de expresarse y de responder. Pero aunque sea mantienen una sola cosa en común, por pequeña que sea –Habló mirándolo directamente –Sólo tienen que encontrarla para poder congeniar con la otra parte de ustedes – -¿Sólo hay que encontrar…la parte que nos hace iguales? –Inquirió con sus palabras flotando en su mente, percatándose que el resto había quedado en silencio para escucharlos. -¡Atrás, espíritu! –Gritó el párroco entrando de sorpresa a la sala, girándose para encarar con el relicario en alto al Kitsune que lo perseguía. -¡¿Crees que puedes exorcizarme y quedar así como así?! –Berreó saltándole encima, mostrándole los dientes. -¡Es una falta grave robar la fuente de la palabra misma! –Contestó desde el suelo con el ceño fruncido, prácticamente restregándole la cruz en el rostro sin ningún efecto. -¿La qué? –Preguntó Osomatsu. -¡Su biblia! –Exclamó Jyushiri ingresando con el objeto en las manos, alzándolo en victoria mientras sonreía. -¿Y por qué la tienes tú? –Indagó la pelirosada. -Ahora fue ella quien se la robó –Habló Ichimatsu a su lado, sin inmutarse demasiado. -No se la regresen, esto es divertido –Dijo Yuki-onna entrando detrás de ellos, riéndose del espectáculo con los otros dos Karamatsu siguiéndolo a sus espaldas. -¡Hey, cállense, son muy ruidosos! –Gritó Choromatsu desde la puerta de la cocina. -¡Comida! –Clamaba Jyushimatsu recuperando el ánimo. -Aún no está lista –Anunció Jade asomándose también. -¡Debemos comer bien antes de regresar! –Exclamó el Alfa levantándose, tomando al Kitsune desde la ropa para alzarlo y alejarlo del párroco como si fuera lo más liviano del mundo. Todomatsu se quedó pensando un instante mientras se apoyaba una mano sobre la boca en expresión analítica, expresando lo que decía su cerebro en voz alta –Más bien, necesitamos un plan – Todos los demás se asomaron para verlo, ingresando a la sala con interés. -Eso es, es tan simple como eso –Dijo percatándose de lo obvio –Necesitamos pensar en un plan. Es imposible ganarles si no pensamos en las debilidades de nuestro enemigo – Sus contrapartes le sonrieron de vuelta. -El monstruo seco ha hablado –Farfulló Osomatsu. * Murasaki: 紫 [むらさき] Morado, en japonés.
11384160	Growing Up	{ "Archive Warning": null, "Category": "F/M", "Characters": "Spencer Reid, Reader, Derek Morgan, Aaron Hotchner, Emily Prentiss, Penelope Garcia, David Rossi, Jennifer \"JJ\" Jareau, The BAU Team", "Fandom": "Criminal Minds", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Mature", "author": "by orphan_account", "chapters": "3/?", "completed": "", "published": "2017-07-03T00:00:00", "words": "3,501", "Additional Tags": "Daddy Issues, Kidnapping, Murder, Murder Family, Love, Relationship(s)", "Relationship": "Spencer Reid/Reader", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": "Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage Sex", "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	"I carry band-aids on me now, for when your soft hands hit the jagged ground, wheels aren't even touching the ground." chapter one\|\| t r a i n i n g w h e e l s. "Melody where were you last night?"The younger girl took her bottom lip between her teeth, her eyes darting around the room trying to distract her. Silver cuffs dug into her wrist as she stared at the agent in front of her. His eyes were a dark piercing brown, his skin was a silky caramel color, and his muscles rippled under his black shirt as he gently shifted in the chair he was seated in. As her eyes grazed the room she begun to realize that there wasn't much to distract herself with. She was seated in a silver chair identical to the agent's, and there was a matching silver table that held up her clasped hands. In the left corner of the room there was a worn black door with a silver handle, and to the right of it was a large tinted window where vague shadows traveled back and forth. Above the two of them were fluorescent lights that blinded her and made her terribly itching in her own lying, disgusting, worthless skin."I-I was riding my b-bike on my w-way to my daddy's." The words slipped out of her bright bubblegum colored lips, sounding completely normal to her, but terribly sensual to the agent seated across from her. He cleared his throat slightly, shifting once again in his chair.Taking in her appearance and the generally confused look on her face, it was clear to the agent, Derek Morgan was his name (but she hadn't known that), that she didn't feel she belonged here and that being put under this much pressure was going to make her break down, he just wasn't sure if the break down would make her lash out, or if it would make her spill the beans and perhaps even a few tears. If anything, he was hoping it was the latter, but he couldn't honestly tell."Alright, and can your old man or anyone else prove that you were there?" She stared at him, now covered in a light sheen of sweat as his left eyebrow raised in a questioning manner. A lump grew thick in the back of her throat as she held back the urge to curl up in a fetal position and cry."Well n-no...because you see I was h-headed there but I d-didn't actually make it." Her eyes broke contact with his, drawing down to silver metal that encircled both wrists and was connected with a small chain. She pushed her wrists down onto the table so the metal would dig into them and allow her to focus more. Pain made her think, and if she wanted to get out of this without drawing attention to herself she needed to think clearly."So then where did you go? Did you head to the Martinez's house?" Morgan slammed photos of the slaughtered family onto the table in front of Melody. Her eyes squinted down at the photos, looking at the detail on their painted faces and their body positions. She knew who had committed the murders, and she couldn't believe that they would do such a thing...but she wouldn't let them get taken away."They're...they're dollies. They're a happy family now. They're better off this way." Melody's eyes squeezed shut as Morgans fists slammed onto the table. Her eyes remained tightly closed as she trembled in her chair, shaking her head fiercely, her mind attempting to find any way for her to forget the situation, but she knew that she couldn't and that she would have to face this. All alone.Morgan threw another picture on top of the pile, his body radiating a fury that Melody recognized from her childhood. The picture however, wasn't a mutilated body, but a man of a shimmering bronze complexion sporting a bright genuine smile, with his arm wrapped around a woman who had the same complexion and the most genuine look of adoration in her eyes, the woman's eyes trained on a girl who looked exactly like her but slightly shorter and decked in a graduation cap and gown."Mr. Martinez was a prospering business man married to Mrs. Martinez who was a social security worker that occasionally took in foster children. And Melanie? Their daughter? She had a full ride scholarship to the University of Florida. There wasn't a happier family than them. This is how it should be. Not this," Derek pointed to the picture of the family that laid dead, sprawled across their living room floor.Melody sat in silence, cringing as she stared at the pictures of the murdered family, as smiling slightly as she looked at the smiling family, her fingers tracing their smiles as she frowned and looked away ashamed.Little did Melody know that Derek was standing there watching her across the table, noticing the look of pain and disturbance as she studied the crime scene photos, and the look of genuine sadness and grief on her face as she stared at the practically perfect family. And as he analyzed her, seemingly doused in sadness and grief, he thought that perhaps she even looked like she longed for a family as perfect as the one her eyes shifted back to every once in a while.Derek's hand slipped into his pants pocket, closing around a small metal object. As he retrieved it, he leaned over the table, and took the her cuffed hands into his."Baby girl you can leave.""Baby girl come here,""Baby girl lay down and don't move.""Baby girl I said shut the fuck up." "Baby girl what the fuck is this? You're fucking pathetic." "Baby girl if I have to say this one more fucking time, I'm going to beat you senseless." "Melody you can leave now." Derek's voice broke through her flashbacks, and she nodded without actually comprehending what was being said. Her eyes found the unlocked cuffs that laid upon the silver table, but she shook her head impatiently and her eyes found his again."I t-think I know who d-did t-that," Her index finger pointed shakily at the murder scene photos and Derek sat down in the chair across from her and nodded, as if telling her she should continue."Well you j-just...you h-have to p-promise me that n-nothing bad will happen to them." ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- "Round and round like a horse on a carousel we go...chasing after you is like a fairy tale, but I feel like I'm glued on tight to this carousel." chapter two\|\| c a r o u s e lShe had been sitting there for hours, no longer cuffed but shaking. Tremors vibrated through her limbs as she pondered the immense amount of trouble she would be in when she returned to her daddy and she knew that he would find her. He always did.There was one distinct memory of her attempting to escape her daddy's grasp. It was a few weeks proceeding one fateful day on the playground, a day when she had particularly missed the woman referred to as mommy. Mel decided it was time for her to go home even though she knew that daddy wouldn't approve. So while he was out grocery shopping one afternoon, she slipped outside. The sun seeped into her skin and she giggled so hard so she started crying. She walked aimlessly for hours and hours, and as the sun began to set in the sky, worry swelled in her small tummy. The sky looked like cotton candy, various shades of pink swirling with blues and she thought that she might make it home even though she hadn't any idea where she was going when a hand gripped her wrist. "Where do you think you're headed doll?" And this same scene repeated itself for the next few weeks. Every time daddy went "grocery shopping" she would wander off and one day daddy had enough. When he found her he dragged her by the hair to the home she would come to love and he beat the daylights out of her. That was the last time she'd seen the cotton candy sky. "Melody can you hear me?" She shook her head, to rid her mind of the thoughts of the past and her eyes met a pair of soft brown eyes. She smiled gently and giggled softly, those eyes that bore into hers reminded her of a puppy. And his hair was long and fluffy, and it looked so silky, almost like the fur on her teddy bear at home. Home. A place that she missed so much right now. She wanted to lay in her own bed and stare at the pink ceiling, but she was stuck here in this dull room of silver and gray. "Uh, Hi Melody? I'm Dr. Spencer Reid. I'm just here to ask you a few questions." Melody giggled and nodded, still in her own world. As she came back to her senses she decided she liked this boy much better than the one that had shown her the pictures just hours earlier. She stood from her chair quietly, strode around the table and sat on the floor on her knees, smiling gently at the man. Her hands were folded gently on her lap and she looked like she was ready for a command. Almost like a dog. The boy cleared his throat, and pulled at the tie around his neck attempting to gather his thoughts and begin the questioning. He scooted back in his chair as he stared at the dark brown eyes that held his gaze with curiosity. "What can you tell me about your father?" His head cocked to the side gently and he rested his head upon his chin. Melody laughed and shook her head, her black ringlets bobbing back and forth. "Daddy doesn't like being called father. Daddy said to call him daddy only, otherwise he would beat me with his bat." She smiled and continued. "I did not really answer the question...Daddy is a good man with a kind heart and has taken care of me for a very long time." Reid bit his lip and nodded, she looked happy talking about this man, whoever he was he was clearly off somewhere, and he would figure out how Melody ended up with him. "What about your mommy? Where is she?" Melody watched as the boy squinted slightly and she frowned. "Daddy took me home. Away from a girl named mommy a long long time ago." She shook her head and her eyes squeezed shut in discomfort. "Daddy said to never talk about her. Never, never, never." Reid nodded, "Of course, okay. When did you meet uh...Daddy?" He cleared his throat again, and fiddled with his tie, as he watched her muscles relax and her eyes open slightly. "I met daddy at the park. I was four. Daddy said I was the prettiest girl he had ever met. We played hide and seek and he rode the carousel with me. He bought me ice cream and balloons and we always had so much fun," Her eyes welled with tears, "but I got older and now Daddy says I'm a burden. I don't...I don't even know what that means but I know it cannot be good. He does not...he does not love me like he used to and it makes me sad." She wiped the tears that had dribbled down her cheeks, and looked up at Reid with the brightest smile, "But Daddy is a great man." Reid pressed on the earpiece in his ear, that was whispering words to him and he nodded, and it confused Melody. Hotchner was telling him it was his job to keep her company as the rest of the team proceeded gathering information on Melody and the case. "So Sir, do you have a Princess? Or a burden?" Spencer chuckled slightly and shook his head rapidly. "No, Melody I don't have a Princess or a burden. I live by myself." Her face scrunched up in confusion but she nodded her head, and twiddled her fingers in her lap. She looked down for a moment, as if thinking hard about something before she looked up and smiled. "Well are you looking? You know my Daddy tells me that there is a Princess for every Prince." He bit his lip and shook his head as he tried to figure out a way to properly word his sentence so as not to trigger her in any way. "I'm too busy to look for a Princess, but I'm sure when the time is right she'll come to me." Melody nodded excitedly and bounced up a down a bit. Her mouth moved rapidly as if she was trying to formulate the words but they weren't coming to her. "Do you....do you think that maybe my Prince will come to me to?" Spencer sat there for a moment, looking upon the girl that sat on the floor with a solemn look in her eye but a grand smile on her face and he tried hard to keep questioning her rather than comfort her. "Your daddy isn't your Prince?" At this, she looked taken aback. Her face fell, and she looked ashamed as her head faced the floor and she shook her head. "If Daddy asks me, he is my Prince, but I've read all the books and he does not...he does not love me. I want him to love me. If people ask me I say that my Daddy loves me, but he is out searching for other Princesses, I know. I sit at home and read about Princesses when I should be treated like one." She smiled for a split second and it fell into a frown as her head faced the floor again. "Melody who's your favorite Princess?" Her head shot up, her curls bouncing as she looked at Reid with the brightest smile. Her mouth started moving rapidly again, like there were so many words, so many things she wanted to say but it was just air. "My favorite is Belle." Reid hadn't really liked her answer, because he could perceive her explanation as to why the princess was her favorite before she had even spoken. "When I read that story I think that I am Belle, and my Daddy is the Beast. I guess...I guess I still hope that he will learn to love me." ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- "Can anybody hear me? I'm hidden under ground. Can anybody hear me? Am I talking to myself? Saying 'tag, you're it, tag, tag you're it.' He's saying 'tag, you're it, tag, tag you're it.' ...I can taste your skin in my teeth. 'I love it when I hear you breathing, I hope to God you're never leaving.'" chapter three\|\| t a g , y o u ' r e i t After Spencer had asked her about her favorite Princess, he walked out. He needed just a moment. A moment to wash his face, to breath, to think, to regain his faith in humanity before returning to the interrogation room where an eighteen year old girl sat with the brain capacity of a 6 year old. As he walked out of the restroom, he sighed, his eyes tracing the gray carpet as he made his way to the silver door that would seal him in that room with that girl who had lost her whole life because of one fucked up man. He hadn't realized he had reached the door until his frail hands grasped the silver handle and he had to turn his head away as he pulled on it, swinging it open. He turned and closed it behind him, looking at it now closed. He spun around to see her still sitting there on her knees. Obedient. Oblivious. He closed his eyes gently, letting out a stiff sigh, before he opened his eyes and walked over to the silver chair that he was seated in twenty minutes ago."Hello there Sir. Are you feeling okay?" He smiled softly at her genuine concern for his well being, knowing that she should really actually be asking herself after all that she'd been through, but he just nodded."So Melody, can you tell me how exactly you and your Daddy met?"In that moment she glanced away from him and her eyes seemed to glaze over. She spoke of the story, though she didn't really seem all there. Spencer didn't realize that as she explained the story she saw it all play through her head, like a mini movie.As the carousel stuttered to a stop, the man's hand fumbled to undo the buckle, then they slipped under her arms to pick her up and place her down on the base of the ride. She giggled and hopped to the ground, the man following close behind her. His gravelly voice spoke up as she turned to face him with the prettiest smile. "What do you say we play a game of tag Princess?" She nodded with an energy that he hadn't seen in years...an energy he was yearning for. "Mmkay Princess, here are the rules: I'm gonna count to twenty, you'll run and find a hiding spot-" "I know how to play this game, Silly," She interrupted with an adorable giggle that tickled him in so many places...places it wouldn't affect normal people."Yes but, if I catch you then I'm gonna take you somewhere special. If I don't catch you can keep playing around here, and I'll play with you sometime else."Melody nodded in approval, having no idea the deal that she had actually agreed to. The man turned his back and began counting to ten. Young Mellie looked around anxiously for a place to remain hidden when her eyes found the large twisting tube, and her little feet ran towards it. Her baby fists clasped around the metal ladder as she pushed herself up onto the play set. She crawled into the slide and slipped down a bit til she was far enough down that you couldn't see her from the entrance or the exit. She listened carefully, hearing the man shout twenty. She held her breath, a little scared that he would find her (Mel didn't like being a loser), and looked around warily. She squeezed her eyes shut, still holding her breath in anticipation as she heard footsteps and felt someone get in the tube. Hands grabbed her sides as the person's momentum forced her and them down the tube and closer to the exit. The two flew out onto the sand in fits of laughter. When her eyes opened she was blinded for a moment by the bright sun. She scrambled to her feet and started running, laughing as she went before a hand grabbed the back of her sweater and another clasped over her mouth."You made a deal with Daddy don't you remember?""So you never saw your mommy after that day?" Spencer was listening, reluctantly, to the story of her kidnapping, and what disturbed him most is that Melody hadn't known. She hadn't known that this was wrong, that she was stolen."No, that was the last time I saw that girl mommy. Daddy told me never ever to talk about her so I knew better than to ask him. I do not like making my Daddy mad." She looked pained as she smiled.Her right hand, that was clasped in her left, let go, and reached up to lay itself upon Spencer's knee. Her eyes were filled with this somber hope, and she smiled weakly at him."You do not have to look so angry Sir. My Daddy is a good good man. Who treats me very well. He feeds me, and gives me these pretty dresses to wear, and he beats me when I deserve it. It is okay." His eyes squeezed shut at this, and he shook his head gently."Your Daddy is not a good man. Your daddy is a very bad man. He's no Prince, he's a criminal."She pulled her hand back quickly, like she had been burned. And perhaps she had been, by his words."You do not know Daddy like I do." Her eyes squeezed in pain and her hands tore at the fabric of her dress over her chest, like her heart physically hurt."I know enough to hate him. To hate what he's done to you.""ALL HE HAS EVER DONE IS LOVE ME!" Melody screamed at Reid with a burning passion and he was quick to respond."Love you? You already said he's looking for another Princess. A better one. Someone who loves you would stay with you, like in the books. They live happily ever after. Are you?"
11313006	A self indulgent	{ "Archive Warning": null, "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "John Egbert, Dave Strider, Rose Lalonde, Jade Harley, Kanaya Maryam", "Fandom": "Homestuck", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Not Rated", "author": "by Aveysauce", "chapters": "2/?", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-26T00:00:00", "words": "1,384", "Additional Tags": "Trans Dave Strider, Alternate Universe - Theatre, but like highschool theatre AU", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "John Egbert/Dave Strider, Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam", "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply", "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Dave and John had known each other for an undefined period of time. Often, it seemed as if they always had been and always would be friends. That was simply not the case. There was once a time when the two had no idea of the other’s existence. Neither could pin it down exactly, but each had their own ideas of when they really met and became friends. John would say they just knew each other from school, names have to stick at some point, right? Dave could think of two separate experiences. One occurred in class, as he was listening to John talk about nothing in particular, and Dave realized how annoying this kid was. Acting like he knew about everything when he was really just as clueless as the rest of them, no matter how many Nic Cage facts he could parrot from Wikipedia. What a dick. The other was on an indie chat room called Pesterchum, that as he was 13 Dave found to be overtly cool to use. Now, entering his third year of high school, not so much. But this was when he and John had their first conversation, and they hit it off. John couldn’t talk his ear off over a computer screen, especially considering Pesterchum’s frustratingly slow response time. At some point they had come to realize who ridiculous screen names turntechgodhead and ectobiologist really belonged to, and had a good laugh over it. And so, they were friends. Somehow. But the most poignant event leading up to their friendship took place on a work day for theatre. They both were lame enough to take part in that shit, of course. Not that Dave would ever admit to being lame, it was just a class after all. He liked to say it was an easy credit. It wasn’t. Dave did sound, a topic interesting enough that it could take a backseat to his preferred photography class. The fact that their school was lacking a darkroom really helped him make that choice, though. At least that’s what he told John when they ended up working together. John and his love for terrible movies had taken to lights, although all of scenic design was interesting enough to him. It was more that he had never learned to use a drill and decided that, a year and a half in, it was too late to ask. On this particular work day, everything for sound was either completed or still up in the air, and John needed help. So Dave went up on a scissor lift to help John reposition lights, put in gels, all that jazz. Now, prior to this experience, Dave had never had any strong feeling toward heights. Living in an apartment where your brother makes you fight him on the roof will do that too you. This made for a surprise to both of them when, a mere 15 feet in the air, Dave looked down and his heart just dropped to his stomach like a disruptive bowel movement waiting for just the right moment to make a literal shitshow of your entire life. It was while Dave was thinking this that John, noticing his at this point acquaintance's change in manner, nudged him with a smile and said “hey, don’t worry. If you fall I’ll catch you. And if the whole thing falls, you’ll just fall into me since I’m heavier”. Dave smiled weakly, trying to decipher any hidden meaning behind this. He couldn’t for the life of him tell what was happening. Was this flirting? Was this just another of the confounding things John says with no real meaning? This remark also made Dave alarmingly aware of how slight he was compared to John, as if he wasn’t effeminate enough. Losing to his bro had already bruised his ego enough for the day, so he decided not to let it get to him. Instead, the fixation became centered around whether or not that was flirting.Keep in mind that the dimensions of a scissor lift tend to be about 29”x72”, with the length extension. Roughly 2.5x6 feet of space to work around. So John, at 6’2, ended up reaching over Dave’s 5’3 head. They didn’t think anything of it, as they were working. After everything, Dave started to stress out about it. Never mind when they went up on the catwalk and had their faces inches apart 98% of the time. John, to tell the truth, noticed. But he didn’t want to make it weird, so he refused to acknowledge anything. This workday was, truly, the start of it all. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- The school John and Dave went to was fortunate enough to have a real auditorium. The booth situation was, nevertheless, a mess. The light and sound boards were crammed together in an area that could not comfortably fit the two operators, a stage manager, and a student director. This was made aware to John and Dave when Rose and Jade joined the booth for the first night of the show. Constantly bumping hands and faces and everything else became increasingly ridiculous for everyone involved, but especially Dave. He had long ago resigned himself to his life of bisexual endeavors, and yet. He couldn’t help but feel like he was coming to terms with it all over again with John. John really was clueless. He said, during the second run of the show, that “everyone’s a little bisexual”, to which Dave and Jade nodded their heads at as Rose rolled her eyes, casting a glance over the crowd to her girlfriend onstage. He then recovered quickly by saying “I’m definitely straight though”. Dave just looked at him, sunglasses making everything harder in the dim light of the both. That night, John and Dave got shakes while everyone else went out to Denny’s. Dave didn’t notice until they were alone. And they had a lovely drive in the evening, taking the long way back to Dave’s house. Dave just listened to John talk about whatever was on his mind, there was so much information leaving his mouth that sometimes Dave felt like he was talking to a walking encyclopedia. This feeling was enhanced when John acted like an asshole, uncaring in demeanor, simply because he was too obtuse to notice. When John was dropping Dave off, it felt like they were about to kiss. But they didn’t. And both of them went home feeling weird. Dave wanted, needed, to tell someone about this mess. Not that much of anything was really happening, but it felt like it was and that’s what matters here. So he went to Rose and told her everything. And she laughed, telling him not to worry. She was like a sister to him, and the fact that everyone thought he was in love with her was repulsive. Not just because she was, in one way or another, related to him, but that felt beside the point. Rose suggested that Dave not worry about it, that it would blow over soon. He hoped she was right. The last night of the show, Dave felt weird. Him and John hadn’t really hung out before and he was worried they wouldn’t after. He found it strange he was worried about this at all. He was in the middle of thinking about this when John swiveled too quickly, falling into Dave’s lap. They laughed and Dave jokingly said “no homo”. John got quiet and responded in like. It was strange. They had been helping Jade sell tickets earlier, calling each other “darling” and “sweetheart” to ask for something urgently in front of a bunch of parents, with no grief. Everything was weird all the time, Dave felt. The two were quite a pair as they were striking the set, running around with each other all night to deconstruct John’s design and tactfully avoid using drills or carrying heavy things. They left before the circle where everyone got all mushy to talk about feelings was fully formed. When they got to Dave’s house, John asked if they could “get breakfast tomorrow”. “Of course,” was the response, “I can’t believe you're asking me”. “Neither can I,” John replied. He had said no to breakfast two days in a row prior to this exchange. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
11328231	Angst on a Shoestring	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": "F/F", "Characters": null, "Fandom": "The X-Files", "Language": "English", "Rating": "General Audiences", "author": "by Susan P. [archived by scullyslash_archivist]", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "1999-12-25T00:00:00", "words": "3,221", "Additional Tags": "Holidays", "Relationship": "Dana Scully/Other(s)", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": "ScullySlash", "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Angst on a Shoestring: Comfort, No Joy by Susan P.Angst on a Shoestring: Comfort, No Joy [prequel] Codes: G, Scully/Ginger, h/c, angst Summary: Set (if I can remember my own notes correctly) about three or four years prior to the first AoaS installment. Near as I can figure it, this probably corresponds roughly to Season 3 (December 1995) in the show's timeline--at least a year after William Scully Sr.'s death, and about six months after Melissa's assassination. This is my own brief, if angsty, contribution to Rad's holiday challenge. Notes: Parts of this may still seem a bit mysterious, but when I get around to finishing AoaS III, it should make more sense. Acknowledgements: Big thanks to the former and current maintainers of the "Deep Background" website at: http://www.deepbackground.com/. It was a big help in trying to figure out my timeline relative to that of the series. (see further notes on the timing of this piece at the end.) Feedback: Welcome, of course! To the list, or privately--makes no difference to me. (this has only been proofread twice by me, and not beta'd, so if you catch any obvious errors, feel free to point them out From: "Susan P." <> Merry Christmas, folks! Here's my little contribution to Rad's Holiday Challenge. (just in time, too...) A prequel, of sorts, to the Angst on a Shoestring series. For those that haven't read the two short installments posted previously (which are both archived on the Scullyslash website), it won't be necessary to read them in order to understand this one. Just consider this one pre-(Scully)slash, but it does reference a f/f relationship. Permission to Archive: ScullySlash, Down in the Basement, all others please ask first. No one other than myself should post this to any mailing list or newsgroup without first obtaining my permission.AoaS: Comfort, No Joy By Susan P."You should go. Be with your family.""You came all the way to DC to see me. You need me, and I won't leave you. My family will understand." She tightened her grip on the woman in her arms. "Besides, you are a part of my 'family.' If--and only if--you feel up to it, we can put in a brief appearance at Mom's tomorrow.""I came here because I couldn't bear to stay in that apartment."She hadn't said, 'It's so empty without her,' but it all but screamed though the brief silence. It was written in the sag of her shoulders, her almost inaudible sigh."So," she continued, "how is Maggie?"It was an obvious attempt to change the subject, but Scully decided to let it slide. She was more than a little worried about her old friend, but she didn't want to push too hard. When Ginger was ready, she would talk."She's fine. She asked about you--she's a little worried, I think. I'm a little worried, too." Ever since Ginger had arrived she'd been so quiet and unusually subdued. She was obviously depressed, which was understandable. But she seemed almost numb, and that was more troubling than Scully had been prepared for."I'm a little worried about myself. I was doing all right, you know. Not great, but okay. Ever since Thanksgiving, though, it's felt like I'm sleepwalking through my life. And the closer it got, the worse I got. The last couple of weeks... It started affecting my work. Luckily, most of my patients are doing pretty well, and only a couple of them have strong holiday-related anxieties. But, it became pretty clear that I was shortchanging them. I'd sit through a session and barely remember anything that happened during it. I finally had to admit that I needed some time away, and that they'd be better off with a substitute."While she had no doubt that Ginger's concern over her patients and her work was genuine, it was obvious she was still avoiding the real issue. Scully reached for her glass and took a sip of wine, searching for a way to broach the subject.Then Ginger did. "She loved Christmas. She was always more into it than I was, but her enthusiasm was contagious. She..." Her voice broke then, and she took a shuddering breath.Scully tightened her arm around Ginger's waist, encouraging her to lean back into the embrace. She then reached up to stroke the other woman's cheek. "I know. I remember that Christmas I spent with you both."Ginger actually laughed at the memory. "All those Christmas carols. You know, she actually changed the message on our answering machine--recorded a new one over 'We Wish You a Merry Christmas."Scully couldn't help but laugh herself, "I remember. And all those cute little drawings she made on your Christmas cards...""Yeah. And that Christmas party!" She shook her head slightly. "She was just like a little kid. She always got up early Christmas morning. You know, she dragged me out of bed almost an hour-and-a-half before you got up that day?""I know. I heard you two stirring around that morning, though I tried to go back to sleep, believe me.""Oh, thanks.""I didn't mean it that way. I was just tired--I had a hard time winding down after the party. Besides, I thought you and Carol could use a little time to yourselves." She didn't mention the fact that she'd heard the soft sounds of their lovemaking the night before. And that, while it was sweet, and almost comforting, it had just made her all the more restless and unable to sleep that night. She'd lain curled up in bed, wide awake, and trying not to listen. Trying not to think about her own empty bed. She was glad Ginger had found someone, and she had come to love Carol as well. It was obvious that the love they shared was strong and enduring, and she couldn't help but be a little envious that night of what they shared. Something she had yet to find for herself.Ginger had fallen silent again. But her breathing was becoming erratic. Maybe she was thinking of the same night. Scully just waited.Then, Ginger shifted in her arms, turning toward her and resting her head against Scully's shoulder. Ginger's tears were warm and wet against her neck. "I miss her so much, Dana.""I know, baby. I miss her, too." She could feel the tears begin to slip from her own eyes, as much from her own grief, as from her friend's.She was gripped by a sense of deja vu. She'd comforted Ginger like this before. There had been so many telephone conversations over the course of Carol's illness. Ginger had shared so much of her pain and fear with her over those long months. She tried to be so strong in front of Carol, so she poured out all her pain and feelings of helplessness in those long conversations. Scully had always tried to be strong for Ginger, and for Carol when she spoke with her, but those phone calls had always left her shaken and weeping. She'd managed to visit during Carol's last hospital stay. The cancer had almost taken her then, but Carol had fought her way back, and the crisis had passed by the time she made the trip to see them both. She had helped Ginger make the arrangements that would transform the bedroom she shared with Carol into some semblance of a hospital room. She was there with Ginger when the hospital bed arrived. Ginger had spoken very little while the workmen set it up next to the twin bed that would be hers for the duration. Once the men had left, she just stared at the now-foreign landscape of her bedroom. She had broken down then, clinging to Scully and sobbing uncontrollably.The next day, she had helped Ginger bring Carol home and get her settled in. She remembered what Carol had said to her that day, after maneuvering Ginger out of the apartment on some errand. "I used to be so sure that I'd beat this thing--that I'd win. But, it was close this time, and now I'm not so sure. Take care of her, Dana. She needs you, and she'll need you even more once I'm gone." Making that promise had been easy, she would have fulfilled it even without being asked.But the enormity of her friend's grief was sometimes overwhelming, leaving her uncertain as to how best to care for Ginger. Those first few days after Carol died were a living hell. For both of them. Ginger managed to go through the motions, numbly and mechanically--making funeral arrangements, getting rid of the hospital equipment in their bedroom, calling friends and relatives. But when they were alone together, and she had no specific tasks to carry out, the facade crumbled. In those hours, she wept and clung to Scully as her lifeline. It had been so hard to see her like that--a gaping wound, in pain and beyond words. She was never sure what to do, or say, to try and help Ginger. She finally decided that simply being there would have to be enough. Leaving her to go back to work was one of the hardest things she'd ever done. She never told Mulder where she'd really been or why, she just told him she needed some time away. But she was sure he noticed that something wasn't right with her. He had looked like he might question her a couple of times, but she'd managed to deflect him enough that he finally seemed to give up on the idea. After she came back, he still didn't ask, and she couldn't bear to talk about it. She had yet to tell him.She turned her attention back to Ginger, now quietly crying against her shoulder. She was gently stroking along her back: up, down, up, down. She realized she'd been doing it for some time, and the rhythm was so comforting, she wondered whether she was doing it more for Ginger, or for herself. Perhaps it didn't matter, since it seemed to quiet the other woman."She wouldn't want me to be like this." Her voice was quiet, and rough. She sniffled and shifted a little in Scully's embrace, but didn't pull away."No, she wouldn't. But I think she would understand. If it had been you, she would probably be the same way. There's no schedule for this, Ginger. It takes time. And she meant so much to you..." She stopped then, unsure whether that was a painful or a comforting reminder.They fell into a comfortable silence--for perhaps the first time this visit. There had been so much left unsaid between them so far. They had both been through so much in the last two years. Her father's death. Her abduction. They hadn't talked about that much at all--there was so much about it she didn't remember, and what she did remember, she didn't want to talk about. Then there had been Mulder's almost-death, and Melissa's murder. Ginger had tried to be there for her then, as much as she was able. She'd come to Melissa's funeral, though she couldn't stay long. Carol had been too sick to make it, but she had insisted that Ginger make the trip to see her. Then Carol's death so soon after, and she was mourning the both of them, and trying to get Ginger through the worst of it. There had been so many awkward silences since then.But this was an easy silence, and it felt like old times. She let her worry slip away and simply enjoyed the feeling of being with her old friend. And it felt good to be able to take care of her. Ginger seemed a little calmer now, and it felt good to just sit there, holding her."She would be glad that I'm here with you. She loved you, you know.""I know. I loved her, too," Scully smiled."Do you think she knows?""I'm certain of it." Carol's words echoed in her mind: Take care of her, she needs you."Hm. I like that idea." She looked up suddenly. Her eyes were red and swollen, but free of tears. "Hey, what time is it?"Scully wore a watch, but that arm was draped across Ginger's shoulder and she found she didn't want to move it so she glanced over to the nearest clock. "It's 12:15." She smiled down at her friend and brushed a few dark hairs from her temple. "Merry Christmas."Ginger smiled back. "Merry Christmas, Dana.""Merry Christmas, Carol." They had whispered it together, then looked at one another in surprise for a moment. But it seemed so...appropriate somehow, there was no need to comment on it.Ginger snuggled into her shoulder, trying to hide a yawn, unsuccessfully. "Mm. I'm tired.""Then let's go to bed."She shook her head and mumbled a negation. "That would require moving.""Well, if you don't want to get up, we should at least lie down and stretch out here on the sofa. If we fall asleep in this position, we'll regret it in the morning." Without waiting for an answer, she began trying to shift downward.Ginger smiled. "It's already morning." But she cooperated, helping to untangle their legs and following Scully's body to stretch out alongside, facing her.She reached over to cup Scully's face and placed a soft kiss on her lips. She looked at Scully another moment before murmuring, "Thank you." Then she turned over on her other side and snuggled back into the warmth of her friend's body, using Scully's left arm as a pillow and pulling her right arm across her belly.The kiss had stunned her into silence for a few moments. Not the kiss itself. They often kissed hello or goodbye, sometimes on the lips, sometimes the cheek. But, her own reaction caught her by surprise. There was something in the way Ginger had looked at her--the simple need in her eyes--and the tone of her voice when she spoke. It touched something in her. Something she'd forgotten, or denied, or never knew was there. And it warmed her inside. Her lips seemed to tingle, remembering the contact, and she was glad when Ginger had wrapped them both into an embrace. The heat, and the weight, against her were comforting.Then she realized what Ginger had said. "What was that for?""Hmm?" Her voice was already sleepy."The 'thank you,'" she prodded.Ginger slid her hand over the back of Scully's, lacing their fingers together, and held her hand out, away from their bodies. She then brought her other hand up to hold Scully's hand between them. "For being here. For being real, and solid, and available, and here. I needed to see you, I think." She then wrapped Scully's arm around them both again, holding it to her. "And, for holding me, for listening, for not pushing."Scully blushed, and leaned forward to kiss her friend's hair. "Oh. You're welcome."She waited until Ginger's breathing became slow and regular before adding, in a whisper, "Thank you for needing me." She felt no stirrings from the woman in her arms, so she took a chance and craned her neck to look at the clock again. 12:35. A little late, but she decided to risk it. She managed to extract her arm from Ginger's waist without disturbing her and just barely reached the phone. She slowly and carefully dialed the number and placed the receiver to her ear."Hello?""Hi, Mom. Did I wake you?" She spoke quietly so as not to disturb Ginger."No, dear. Charlie just left with his stash of presents for the kids."She smiled into the phone. "How's he doing?""Oh, he's fine. Are you all right, Dana? You sound tired.""I am, a little. I'm just trying not to wake Ginger. She's asleep.""Good. How is she?""Okay, I think. I was pretty worried about her at first. But we talked a little, and I think it helped. She seemed a little better, afterward. She's really missing Carol, though.""I'm sure she is. The first Christmas after your father died was very hard on me. I missed him so much then. I still do, of course. And Melissa.""I know, Mom. That's why I called. I miss them both, too. Melissa and I were just getting close again, when..." she stopped before the tears could start." I know, baby." There was a slight pause then, before she added, "Do you think Ginger will feel up to coming by tomorrow afternoon? You know she's welcome.""I don't know. I mentioned it to her, but she didn't say anything.""Well, maybe she doesn't feel like being around a lot of people. I'm going to go by Charlie's early tomorrow to watch the kids open their presents. I think seeing it all through their eyes will help me get in the spirit. How about I come by after I leave Charlie's? I can drop off your presents, and take any you want to send back with me. If Ginger seems up to it, I can stay for coffee and visit for a few minutes. If not, I'll leave earlier. That way, I'll get to see you both, and she won't feel pressured to come by just for your sake. You can stay with her, and I'll make your excuses to the family.""That sounds like a good idea. I think she would like to see you, Mom. She asked about you. And, give everyone my love when you see them.""I will, dear. I think they'll understand.""Mom, are you sure you're okay with this?""I'll be fine, Dana. There will be plenty of family around to look after me. Take care of your friend. She needs all the love and support you can give her now.""Thank you for understanding.""That's all right. Get some sleep, Dana. Merry Christmas.""I love you, Mom. Merry Christmas. See you in the morning.""Goodnight, dear.""Goodnight."She carefully placed the phone back in its cradle, then settled back down to hold her sleeping friend. She let herself become hypnotized by the rhythm of Ginger's breathing and enjoyed feeling the warmth from her body. As she drifted toward sleep she wondered: Is this how she and Carol slept every night? Is this how it feels?And she began to feel as though she now knew something she had been missing.The End.[One further timeline note: Based on my perusal of the Deep Background archive, Wm Scully died right around the holidays--just after Christmas '93 or around New Years, '94. Scully herself was abducted in early August, and returned sometime in early November of that year. I'm placing Carol's death in May or June of 1995, since the events of "Paper Clip" end in late April, and the events in "2Shy" take place sometime in August, with the events of "DPO" after that, in September. It seemed plausible that Scully might be able to take some time off during those months. Ginger's visit begins in late December 1995, probably not before the 23rd.]
11301012	When The Wild Calls	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Midoriya Izuku, Yagi Toshinori \| All Might, Bakugou Katsuki, Todoroki Shouto, Kirishima Eijirou, Kaminari Denki, Todoroki Enji \| Endeavor", "Fandom": "僕のヒーローアカデミア \| Boku no Hero Academia \| My Hero Academia", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by orphan_account", "chapters": "5/?", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-25T00:00:00", "words": "13,100", "Additional Tags": "The Eight Presepts of Death, Werewolf AU, Hunters, Quirks aren't a thing, Wolf Pack, different packs, I would like to think this is good but idk, The wild - Freeform, Making big decisions, the 'emotional' stuff comes soon, Angst", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "Bakugou Katsuki/Kirishima Eijirou, Midoriya Izuku/Todoroki Shouto", "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	From a young, young age, Midoirya had always been taught: it's better to hide what you are, safer to stay hidden among the ordinary people then constantly shifting between two different worlds. After losing his father, of course his mother was going to be protective of her only child. After all, if he left, what else did she have? What exactly was Midoriya, you ask? What was so bad that it had to be drilled into his head at such a young age to hide it? Midoriya, see, was part of a underground, rare species. Midoriya was a werewolf. Werewolves had used to live almost as openly in society as humans, but were soon hunted down for their pelts or rare blood that was rumored to be magical. Nowadays, though, it was wise to keep the two worlds as separate as they could be.When Midoriya was young, he would sometimes transform without meaning to, still trying to get a grasp onto his abilities. Whenever he did this, his mother would glare at him, and narrow her eyes.“Dear, what did I tell you about turning?” She would say, never raising her voice above a normal speaking level, which, in Midoriya’s opinion, was sometimes worse. “To not turn into a wolf…” A young Midoriya would mumble, looking down at the ground in shame. His mother would then sigh, walk over to him and kneel down, petting his head softly before leaning back and telling him to turn again. She hated taking away this freedom from her son, but she was too scared that the same terrible end that came to his father would grab onto her son as well. Inko herself had been born and raised in the forest, as had Midoriya’s father, though the two had decided to leave the dangers of the forest when they figured out that they would soon be parents. Though they hadn't stopped turning and going to the forest every once and while, until one day when Midoriya’s father was shot and killed, all while his son was still under a year old. After that, Inko couldn't help but fear for her son and the forest. As a wolf, Midoriya had green, almost black fur, and bright green eyes, his teeth were sharp and pearly white. He was small, even by wolf standards, and would probably be the runt of any pack he had joined. Despite all this, though, he was a fast runner. It was hard at first for Midoriya to hide the fact that he was a werewolf. A supposed creature of the supernatural. He almost let it slip once, when he was seven and playing with Bakugou Katsuki, whom he called Kacchan. It had been when the two of them were playing next to the woods, or more Kacchan shoving around Midoriya as the other fought back. The two had been ‘training’ to be strong, unbearable people who could take on anything and come out alive. It was usually emotions that would make Midoriya turn at this point, and, as Kacchan shoved him back and into a bush, excitement flew through him. He could jump out of the bush, and knock Kacchan back.He hadn't even noticed that he had begun to change until he felt some of his teeth and realized that they had become a lot sharper. Thinking about it in that seconds, Midoriya could also feel two nubs of what would become ears starting to grow on his head. “Hey Deku!” Bakugou had snarled from just outside the bush. “You going to come back out? Or did I win?”Midoriya stayed quiet for a second, willing himself with every fiber of his being to change back into a person. After what seemed like forever, but was really just a moment, he slowly felt the teeth shrink back to what they were, along with the rest of him.Midoriya slowly walked out of the bush, looking at the ground. Kacchan raised an eyebrow at this, clearly waiting for an answer as to who won.“I...I just remembered something...I have to...Go home…” Midoriya had said, looking at the ground and shifting a little. “You won, I guess” he said after a moment, then turned and ran.When he got home, the five year old began to cry, explaining the whole situation to his mother. She sighed, gently patting his head. “As long as he didn't see you dear, that's all that matters” she had said in a loving voice.Midoriya had nodded, whimpering softly.-------------------------------When Midoriya was ten, he started daring to disobey his mother, going into the forest. While he went into the forest often now, he rarely ever turned. Turning, as he had figured out over the years, had become harder and harder as time went on.He could guess himself that at least part of it was due to the fact that he didn't turn often, and therefore was out of practice. Whatever it was, though, turning was not something he did often, even when given the chance to. Now fourteen, Midoriya went into the woods whenever he got the chance. Even when he didn't, he would walk alongside it, using his heightened hearing to listen in on what was going on just behind the first row of trees and bushes. It was on one of these days that Midoriya was actually in the forest, having turned into his wolf form just this once, when he heard a crack, and froze. Something was nearby. Midoriya sniffed at the air, turning his head softly, walked in the direction of the sound. He hadn't walked far when he heard another crack, and slowly kneeling down, looked through the bush. He gasped when he saw what was on the other side.On the other side of the bushes, a small group of people stood. All carried guns, and were staring down at what Midoriya figured out one second later with a gasp of horror was a wolf, one that had clearly been shot by them. Though it was still alive. It stood there, shaking but snarling as it looked up at its shooters, blood almost pouring out of one of its shoulders. The wolf looked just to be a normal wolf, but it still hurt Midoriya to look at. How could it not? The hunters were snickering, and then who Midoriya guessed was the leader - a man with black hair, and an odd mask - walked forward, gun in hand. Midoriya didn't know what he was doing in that moment, but also didn't care. That wolf was about to get shot, to die. At least it would, if it was shot again. If it was left alone, had the chance to run away…In the next second, Midoriya felt his mind move before his body. He lunged into the clearing, barking and snarling to gain the hunter's attention. And gain their attention he did. They all stopped, and turned to look at him, eyes narrowed. “Hey, Boss. You think this one looks a bit more werewolf than that thing?” Snickers a man, pointing to the injured wolf with his gun. The lead man - Overhaul, supposedly - nodded. “Get it” he said a second later, and all of the group ran at Midoriya.Midoriya froze for a second, not knowing what to do, then started to run as fast as his four legs would carry him. It wasn't fast enough. Midoriya ran this way and that, trying to shake off the hunters with all his might, but to no avail. So he just kept running.It was after a while of running when he finally had to stop, catch his breath. He felt like he was going to pass out. Midoriya tried to run, but the best he could pull off was a jog. The men were gaining, and fast.Almost as soon as they broke into the small clearing he had stopped in, though, Midoriya heard a snarl in the brush. A snarl like a wolf’s. The men were gaining fast, and some had even started to enter the clearing, raising their guns to point at him. As they did this, though, something happened. From the area where Midoriya had heard the snarl, a huge, tan wolf appeared. The wolf was clearly too big to be a normal wolf, was the first thing that Midoriya thought of. Which meant one thing. This was a werewolf.In all his years of being alive, of all the days he spent in the forest, he had never so much as seen a small glimpse another werewolf. Yet, here one was, standing right in front of him. The werewolf snarled at the all hunters, then charged at one, barking. The other hunters all turned to shoot, but soon realized that it would be too hard, with the possibility of hitting on if their own to high. Everything else happened in a flash, with the tan wolf charging the hunters one second, and the hunters retreating the next. Midoriya stood there, wide-eyed, as he tried to grasp onto what exactly was happening.The werewolf turned and walked up to him. “What were you doing all the way up in this area, my boy? Don't you know that hunters like it here?” Midoriya froze, realizing the werewolf in front of him was talking in human language. “I...Um...I’m not really in the forest, that much...My mom doesn't really like it…” Midoriya stammered back, unsure of what exactly to do. The other werewolf seemed to understand it in a seconds, though.“You live with the humans?” He asked, sitting down in front of Midoriya, who nodded unsurely. This was all to bizarre for him. “I think the hunters will be home for a while” the tan wolf said, looking around. “Anyhow, let's get you back home.”The huge werewolf stood up, and turned to walk back to the edge of the forest, where the first line of human houses were. But Midoriya didn't budge. This was the first time he had ever met another werewolf outside of his mother, and he wasn't about to pass that up so easily.“Wait!” Midoriya barked. The tan werewolf in front of him stopped, turning back around. “This...I haven't seen any other werewolves my whole life...I...I don't want to go back yet…”The other werewolf turned to him, and let out what Midoriya would guess could pass as a chuckle. “I guess I could understand that. Though it's shocking you've never seen another one, given that most werewolves, even the ones that live among humans, travel back to the forest every once and awhile.”Midoriya nodded, and gently sat down, happiness shooting through him when the other came back over and did the same. “So” the other werewolf said “I guess I should introduce myself. My name is Toshinori, though some call me All Might. It's a long story” he added on when Midoriya shot him a puzzled look. “I...I'm Midoriya Izuku” Midoriya replied, watching the other “I live among humans, though I want to live in the forest when I get older for a little bit, at least. Though I don't know how I would do that...I don't know a lot of things like hunting, where to live, and all of that.”Toshinori looked at him, then did the closest thing to a smile that a wolf could do. “Well then” he said “how about I teach you some things?” -------------------------------A few months passed after that. Midoriya spent almost all of his free time in the forest, telling his mom he was going to the library before ducking in the second he could. He felt bad, lying to his mom. But if she knew, he was afraid she would stop him, and then he would never learn what he needed to know to live in the woods.It had been a pain at first, to get Midoriya to turn easily each time, as he had never turned as much as most werewolves did. Soon, All Might, as Midoriya had come to call him, taught him on how to hunt and survive in the forest. He explained that there were several packs in the area, and he belonged to what was more or less known as the ‘hero pack’, a pack that protected the others from threats like hunters. Midoriya had grown stronger in the last few months, and could run even faster than before. He could fight far better than he could at first, to. He had even taken on All Might a few times and actually stood somewhat of a chance, not getting thrown straight down to the ground. All Might had even taught him of the language that werewolves typically used to communicate, one slightly different from that of the normal barking and growling that normal wolves and dogs used to communicate. One day, Midoriya had been out in the forest practising his hunting. He figured that if he could catch something and bring it to All Might, he could show him how much he had grown. He had been running around the forest when something hit his nose. The smell of a wolf, was what Midoriya had first thought. Then, as he smelled it again, he noticed that there was something different about this smell, similar to the way that All Might’s smell was different from a normal wolfs. Was it another werewolf?Midoriya didn't think he was on any territory, as All Might had shown him where all the borders more or less were. But, just in case, Midoriya began to back up. The brush where the other werewolf was rustled, and what sounded like steps coming toward him sounded. Midoriya stopped. A second later, the brush was pushed to the side, and the face of a white wolf with red splotches and a nasty scar covering their right eye appeared.“What are you doing here?” Snarled the wolf, narrowing his eyes. He was big, and, as he stepped out of the brush and closer to Midoriya, Midoriya could see muscles under the red and white pelt. “Oh - is this your territory? Sorry, I didn't know” Midoriya said, slowly backing away and lowering himself to the ground slightly.The other stopped for a second, just staring at Midoriya, before he seemed to regain himself. “This isn't technically a territory, but most wolves don't like to come in this direction. It's close to the humans, don't you know that?” He snarled. “I know that. Why are you here, if it's so close, though?” Midoriya asked, tilting his head to the side. “Like I said. Most wolves don't like to come in this direction” snarled the other wolf again.Finally getting what he was saying, Midoriya nodded. “I'll leave, then. Goodbye” Midoriya said, turning and walking away. He could feel the other wolf watching him as he did, probably to make sure he was actually leaving.When Midoriya temporarily stopped and turned around, though, the wolf had vanished back into the brush. Shrugging, Midoriya continued to walk until he was near the end of the forest, where he turned back into a human.A few minutes later, he met up with Kacchan and a few of his friends, and the small group walked back home, Kacchan and the others sneering at Midoriya. Though Midoriya’s thoughts were elsewhere. He wondered if he would ever see that wolf again. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Why the hell are you so fascinated by these fuckin’ things?” Kacchan snarled, flipping through one of the books that Midoriya had sitting in his living room.Every now and then, one of the two would be forced to go and stay at the other’s house by their parents for whatever reason, this one being that Bakugou’s parents would be gone on a trip for the next few days.So, Bakugou stayed in the Midoriya household for those few days.Bakugou flipped through a random book that lay on Midoriya’s desk, one explaining a sort of history of werewolves. Midoriya himself would admit that a good number of the books in his room were about werewolves, something his mother wasn't particularly fond of. But she never stopped him, thinking that closing him off from the world of werewolves all together was harsh.“I don't know, Kacchan. Their just...Interesting to me, for some reason” Midoriya replied, choosing his words carefully. The other grunted, showing that he acknowledged the reason as good enough, even if he thought it was ridiculous. Midoriya himself was sitting on his bed, looking through a book talking about how werewolves had changed as a myth over the years. Midoriya had been like this when it came to werewolves for a long time, how could he not be, and recently he had even started studying under one. He was learning how to live in the wild, something he had never been taught before. He was learning to hunt, track, fight and so much more. The history of werewolves, how things used to be, the dangers of being one, and all of the stories that werewolves were typically told as a young pup or child. While he was out learning all this, Midoriya had seen that white and red wolf a number of times since the two had run into each other a few months back, and was sure by now that the wolf was the leader of some pack nearby. Midoriya wanted to talk to him again, ask if he could see this pack, though he wasn't sure how. The other seemed completely fine with not making contact, as Midoriya knew that he had seen or at least smelled him all the times that Midoriya and the other werewolf crossed paths. “The fuck is this?” Came Kacchan’s voice out of the corner of his ear, bringing Midoriya out of his thoughts. The boy turned away from the book he was looking at to see that the other had found one that it was about werewolf and human interaction, and some love between the two. Honestly, the book seemed as though it had no clue that werewolves were real, but Midoriya had kept it anyhow. He didn't know why, though. “It's a book about werewolves and humans” Midoriya replied, Kacchan narrowing his eyes as he flipped through the book. “Werewolves and humans falling in love? The fuck? Why would a human ever love a werewolf? Their just wild animals that happen to be able to turn into humans from what I've heard. They aren't going to be nice. All scratched up and ferial.” Midoriya almost laughed, having to hold back from asking Kacchan if he thought Midoriya was like that. “I don't know, Kacchan. That's just how they were written, I guess” Midoriya replied, shooting his eyes up to the clock in his room and cursing silently when he saw that he was late for his meet up with All Might. “Alright, I have to go. I'll be back at some point, okay? See you then” as Midoriya spoke, he was already jumping up and running out the door.“Where the hell- hey!” Kacchan yelled from behind him, snarling as Midoriya took off without answering his question. -------------------------------Midoriya ran through the forest in his wolf form, racing against All Might. The other had said you needed to be fast in the forest, and Midoriya believed him. After all, you had to be fast to hunt and get away from danger.While Midoriya was fast, always had been, it took all his strength to even try to keep up with the other werewolf. Jumping over logs, ducking under brush, and keeping up a good speed. That was the key to all of this. After they finished running, All Might said that they should call it a day. Midoriya sure wasn't protesting, as his legs hurt like someone had just kicked them, hard.Plus, if the lesson was over for the day, he was able to explore the forest on his own a bit more. It was after All Might left that Midoriya turned, walking in the same direction as usual. He had asked All Might about the area in which he had seen the white and red wolf, without mentioning the wolf itself. All Might had said that that area wasn't owned by any one pack, instead some of it belonging to a group of small packs, while the other parts of it were owned by nobody. So, Midoriya went to go explore those unowned areas. This time, Midoriya didn't see the other wolf like usual as he walked to the unowned territory. No, the other werewolf saw him.“Hey” it snarled, stepping out onto the path behind him. Midoriya stopped, turning to face the white and red wolf. He was thrown slightly off guard by the other’s face, as it possessed a horrid scar. “Yes?” Midoriya asked, slightly lowering himself as he looked at the other wolf. He was strong, and looked like he would be hard to take down during a fight. He had to be the leader of a pack, or at least would be someday. “I always see you alone on this territory. Why is that?” He snarled, taking another step toward Midoriya. Midoriya shrugged, trying with all his might to not break eye contact and failing, instead turning his eyes to look at the ground. “I-I don't really belong to a pack...I heard that this area wasn't owned by any pack, so I usually try to come here to hunt…”The other wolf narrowed his eyes, and snarled. “Well” he said, pearl white teeth showing “you've been coming awfully close to my pack's territory. I suggest you take a different route to get there, or else.”Midoriya nodded, taking a step back. He should just leave, go home before the other werewolf got violent. He was about to leave, until, that is, a brown wolf stepped out of the brush and ran up behind the white and red one.“Todoroki!” The brown wolf barked, charging up alongside the other. “Who's this?” It asked, looking over at Midoriya.“No one” snarled the white and red wolf, who Midoriya assumed was named Todoroki. “What are you doing here anyhow?”“Momo sent me out after you, said that you looked angry. Didn't know you were meeting up with someone, though!” Barked the brown wolf, laughing. “So” she said, turning to Midoriya after a moment “who are you?”Midoriya was a bit taken aback. Right after the wolf known as Todoroki had threatened him, this one had come running up, asking happily who he was and not seeming to be thrown off guard at all.“Oh, that's rude of me. Guess I should introduce myself first. My name is Uraraka, and I'm from the same pack as Todoroki.”Midoriya nodded after a moment. “My name is...Midoriya, and...I don't belong to a pack, really.”At this, the brown wolf barked in shock. “What? Were you kicked out or something? Are you lost?” Midoriya smiled a little, shaking his head in a sad no. He didn't explain that he never had been in a pack to begin with. How could he explain that? The two were silent for a second, before Uraraka walked over to him. “You're a bit odd. But you seem friendly enough!” Behind her, Todoroki bristled. “Uraraka” he said slowly, not leaving the anger out of his voice “what if he's an enemy?”Uraraka sighed, shaking her head. “I don't think he is. Besides” she shot a look at Midoriya as she said this part “if he is, it won't be to hard to beat him.”Midoriya gulped, taking a quick step back. He shot a look between the two, wondering if it would be best for him to leave. Now that he looked over the she-wolf properly, he could tell that she was strong as well. Maybe not as strong as Todoroki, but she was right when she had said that it wouldn't be hard to take him down. The two of them looked as though they had been built to live in the forest all their lives. Uraraka waged her tail the slightest, sniffing him. “You smell a lot like people. More than the forest, even! Do you live in the city?” Midoriya was slightly thrown off by this question. “Y-yes…” He said after a moment, looking cautiously at the red and white wolf behind her, who was glaring him down. “In fact...I'm almost never in the forest…”Uraraka took a step back, cocking her head. “Did you parents leave? Or did you choose to leave?”She sure was asking a lot of questions. Midoriya shifted a little, trying to think of the best way to respond. Uraraka seemed to sense his discomfort, though, and took a step back.“O-oh! Sorry if I made you uncomfortable! I just wanted to get to know a bit about you, is all! Guess I am asking a lot of odd questions, though.”Behind her, Todoroki made a small noise, and turned around. “Come on, Uraraka. Something about him isn't right, and I don't want to be responsible if something goes wrong.”“I'm fine!” Uraraka said, turning to look at him, but the other was already turning away. She let out a sigh, and turned back to Midoriya. “Bye!” She called out, then turned and ran after the red and white wolf. “Hope to see you again soon!” She called out, and in a second she was gone. ------------------------------For the next month, Midoriya seemed to run into others that were from Uraraka’s pack, despite his small efforts to avoid the territory. Uraraka was a kind wolf, and the two almost immediately became friends. She prided herself on taking care of her pack, and looking after all of her friends.Along with her, Midoriya also met a black furred wolf named Iida, and the two also became fast friends. While he was more careful than Uraraka, therefore less trustful in Midoriya at first, he went out of his way to be nice to the wolf that seemed to be all on his own. The two wolves from the pack would meet up with Midoriya sometimes, and others Midoriya would accidentally run into one of them. He didn't see the wolf known as Todoroki very often after that day, and Midoriya didn't know if he was happy for this or not. Through them, Midoriya learned a lot about the pack that he had only watched at a distance for what seemed like the longest time. The pack had lots of members, though few of them were ever there at once. The pack itself was more of a place for young werewolves to safely stay whenever they wanted to live in the forest. Another thing Midoriya learned was that assumptions had been right about Todoroki being the pack leader. Apparently, he had joined the pack and quickly come to the top, despite his lack of social ability. One of the werewolves in the pack, Momo, had apparently known him even before he joined the pack he led now, and he had belonged to a higher up pack until something happened, which caused him to leave. Other than this, though, no one in the pack knew anything about Todoroki’s past.Some days, Midoriya would run into Uraraka or Iida when they were with other werewolves. By doing this, he got to learn some new members of the pack: Kirishima, Kaminari, and Tsuyu. Now, it truly felt as though Midoriya was becoming part of a pack, and that feeling was one that Midoriya had longed for all his life. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Midoriya ran alongside Uraraka, the two chasing after what could possible be dinner for Uraraka’s pack tonight. Midoriya had known Uraraka for almost four months now, and in the meantime had gotten to know some of the others as well. Slowly, it almost felt like he was becoming part of the pack. Almost everyone in the pack knew him and liked him, Iida and Uraraka even saying that they would like it if he joined. Almost everyone, that is, except for the leader, Todoroki. He hadn't seen the leader that much since the day he first met Uraraka, and when he did see him the leader still acted as hostile to him as he had that day. The other times he had spoken to him, it had become a normal for the other werewolf to snarl at him to leave. When he had told Uraraka about this, she had simply smiled and shook her head. “He's like, that is all” is what she had said.Midoriya simply accepted this as what must have been fact, and gave the leader space. Though he felt that he should at least try and make friends with the leader of the pack, as he was becoming closer and closer to more and more members of the pack each day. While the leader was gone, sometimes Uraraka had dared to take Midoriya closer into their territory. When he had asked what would happen if they were caught, she had simply shrugged and said that Momo could convince her leader to let them go.One time, Midoriya almost saw their camp. It existed in a clearing next to a creek. There were rocks to lay and climb on, trees to lay under, plenty of room, and a huge cave. He had simply stood there for a while, watching as wolfs went about their daily lives, not paying too much attention to the new wolf standing next to Uraraka at the entrance to the camp.--------------------------------At home, Midoriya’s life had also changed. He was stronger now, and could think on a more wild basis. He could stand up to Kacchan, and was quickly becoming a strategic thinker. Midoriya was one of the strongest and quickest students in his class.He still felt guilty each day when he would run into the forest, not telling his mother where he was going. Instead, he would mostly lie, saying he had to study or something. But deep down, he knew that she at least had some idea of what was actually going on. She had to, with her son coming home smelling of the forest every other day. She knew that at some point she wouldn't be able to keep him away any longer, and that that time may slowly be coming, but she still wasn't ready. “Hey, Deku! What the hell are you doing? Let's go!” Bakugou called from up ahead, shaking Midoriya from his thoughts about the pack. The two of them were walking alongside the forest line, and Midoriya shook his head, running to catch up with the other boy.“It's nothing, Kacchan!” Midoriya called out as he ran. “Good” snarled the other, eyes lazily drifting over Midoriya, though the anger never fading from them “because apparently I'm in charge of making sure you don't go running off on your own anymore. It's ridiculous.”Midoriya froze when he heard Bakugou mutter this. The other was in charge of making sure he didn't go off on his own, in other words, to make sure he didn't go into the forest. “Can I ask why?” Kacchan sighed, shrugging his shoulders and turning away. “Hell if I know. Something about hunters I think? Who cares anyhow?”Midoriya stayed still for a second. All Might had been called away yesterday, something about hunters. He had been worried, and had had to force himself to leave the forest after a word of safety to the pack. Had they already moved into the area? Was anyone hurt? Midoriya froze. “I…I need to go home. Sorry, Kacchan, but…I need to check on something.”The other narrowed his eyes at him. “The fuck? Why are you so freaked out about some silly hunters? I heard we had a wolf problem not to long ago, maybe they're here clean it up!” Kacchan laughed as he said this, but Midoriya was frozen in fear. “If that's the case, you should be glad! No matter how much stronger you've gotten, a wolf would break you in half and then eat you in less than a minute!” Midoriya was looking at the ground, not even bothering to reply to Kacchan. “I have to go” he whispered, sounding stronger, and broke off into a run. He didn't even stop to think about what he would tell his mother, or what he would tell All Might, or what he would even do if he did meet a hunter. He didn't care, because in that moment all he could think of was a werewolf running away and calling out for help as they were hunted down and captured, then taken back to a warehouse where they were kept and killed after the hunters had made all of the money they could off of them.All Might had told him all of the terrible stories. Midoriya turned almost the second he had made it into the woods, leaving all of his things scattered on the ground behind him. Now in his wolf form, Midoriya took off through the forest, listening as best he could for anything that resembled a hunter.He had been running for at least ten minutes when he heard it. The snap of something metal, and a loud, pained, bark, followed by a angered growl. A trap, maybe? Even if it wasn't, a wolf was hurt, and Midoriya needed to help them.The young werewolf ran through the brush in the direction of the bark, sniffing constantly at the air and listening for anything else. The closer he got, the more he could smell, and the more it scared him. Human. Gunpowder. Blood.Midoriya soon broke out of the bushes and into a small clearing. He stopped, staring at the scene not fifteen feet away from him, of the white and red leader of Uraraka’s pack, sure enough stuck in a trap with blood pouring from the open wound. He looked as though he had been shot in the shoulder, as well.Across from the lead wolf was a hunter, fear in his eyes yet snickering the whole time. A gun hung at his side, shaking in his hands. A few bite marks covered his arms, and Midoriya immediately knew that the red and white wolf hadn't been hurt too easily. The leader shot his head around when Midoriya appeared, anger still in his eyes. “Get away!” He barked out in a commanding voice, eyes piercing Midoriya. “Leave!” The man snickered and pointed the gun at the injured wolf in front of him while it was distracted, finger on the trigger.“Watch out!” Midoriya yelled, but he was already running. In one jump, he launched himself at the man, who turned at the last second and, with a scream, pointed his gun at Midoriya and shot.Midoriya felt pain run through his arm, and knew in that second that he had been hit. Blood was already welling up in the fresh wound. But that didn't matter, he thought, as he made contact with the man and brought him down to the ground in a second before being thrown off. The man was screeching, already trying to cock his gun again. The small werewolf felt his eyes fly shut, and his breath horn in his chest. This was it, he couldn't help but think. He the and the other wolf would be carried away, if not killed on the spot. When the second gunshot went off, he realized after a moment that he felt no new pain. Slowly, Midoriya opened his eyes to see that the red and white wolf had launched up, grabbing onto the man’s gun with his mouth, while a paw extending in a human - like fashion, shoving the man to the side. The werewolf was protecting him.A cracking sound came from the gun, and it took Midoriya a second to realize that it was breaking in the harsh grip of the other werewolf’s jaws. The man holding the gun let out a grunt, shaking the gun as hard as could until Todoroki fell off, crumpling to the ground.Snickering, the man turned back to where the green wolf had been just a second ago to find him gone, a small trail of blood the only indication as to where he had gone. Suddenly, a growl sounded from behind him, and the man whipped around just in time to see the missing wolf launch himself at him, tackling him to the ground.The man quickly shoved Midoriya off, panicking now as he looked back and saw the other wolf behind him, equally mad. With a small scream, the man jumped up and, abandoning his gun, ran away.Midoriya watched the man leave, turning back to look at the werewolf who had been chasing him off again and again for the past few months. Todoroki now stood, looking at him with narrowed eyes, what could be thought of as concern flashing in them. Midoriya smiled weakly at him. “We did a good job” he softly said, suddenly feeling the true effect of the wound on his leg. He began to sway, and, with one last smile at the other werewolf, Midoriya fell to the ground with a thud. ---------------------------When he next woke up, Midoriya found himself in a hospital room, his mother looking at him with at first relief and joy, and then a scolding glare.“Izuku” she said, soft but stern, “can you tell me what happened?” Midoriya froze in that second, not knowing what to say. What had happened? He knew how he had gotten the injury, but after the man had ran away...Nothing. His confusion must have reflects on his face, for a second later he heard a sigh from his mother. “You were gone all day, and then Katsuki came home alone, saying that you had run away and told him you had something to do. We start looking, but can't find anything, and then two hours later, the hospital calls and tells me that a boy with red and white hair dropped you off with what looked to be a bullet wound! They said the boy himself looked hurt, but left before they could examine him. I'm worried, Izuku, can you please tell me what happened?” Midoriya looked at her in shock. Red and white hair...That had to be the other werewolf, right? Was he okay? He had turned and taken Midoriya all the way the hospital alone, which must have been exhausting. They had also said he was injured.The worry must have shown on Midoriya’s face, for his mother cleared her throat a minute later, looking at him softly. “Please, Izuku” she said, eyes begging him to tell her “I just want to know so I can help.”Combined with her sad, begging eyes and the worry that already existed within him for the other werewolf, Midoriya broke. Crying, he told her everything. How he started going into the forest. How he was learning how to live in the wild. How he had met a wolf pack, and other werewolves. How he had heard of hunters in the woods and found one cornering a werewolf, and had jumped in to save him. While he said all this, his mother's faced turned to one of shock, and then sadness. While her son never outright said that he wanted to live in the forest, among other werewolves, she could tell from the way he spoke about it. It broke her heart, for while she wanted to protect her son from the same fate that had grabbed his father, she also wanted him to be happy. “I'm sorry, mom” he finally said, tears still falling down his face. She looked at him and sadly smiled.“It's okay, Izuku. I'm just glad you're okay.”That had him crying all over again, sobbing and hugging onto his mother, who hugged him back just as hard. After a while, a doctor slipped into the room and shyly told them that visiting time was up, and that Izuku needed to rest. Inko waved goodbye to her son, promising to see him again tomorrow. -------------------------------Midoriya was released from the hospital a week and a half later, after promising to take it easy. He would still go in every once in awhile so that they could make sure his leg was healing correctly, and the doctors warned him that his leg may not ever fully recover, especially if he wasn't careful.While he was recovering, he told his mother more about the pack in the woods, and All Might, and the friends that he had made. In turn, she told him about how her life had been before she had chosen to live among humans. One day, Inko Midoriya stopped her son, who had been talking about some forest exploring he had once done, mid - sentence. Tearing up, she smiled at him and told him that if he wanted to become a werewolf and live fully in the wilderness, he could.“Izuku…” she had said, smiling at him softly “just hearing the way you talk about the forest, about the wonderful werewolves you've met, about the pack that you've slowly become a part of, I know how much you love it there. How much they love you there. I don't want to keep you away from that anymore. If you want to live in the forest when this is all over, you can. I’ll allow it.”Midoriya had frozen, looking at her for a second without replying. “You...You mean it, mom?” He had softly asked, tears welling up in his eyes along with his mother. Smiling, she nodded. “With all my heart, dear” she laughed softly. Midoriya threw his arms around her, hugging her tightly. “Thank you” he whispered. -----------------------------It was three months later when Midoriya next stepped foot into the forest as a werewolf. His mother had told him that she wanted him to take it easy until his leg fully healed, least he regret it later on in life. Now, fully recovered, Midoriya ran through the forest, looking for one of the wolves from the pack that he had slowly become a part of. What had happened while he was away? He hadn't run far, though, when he saw a flash of red and white out of the corner of his eye, and was suddenly tackled to the ground. Above him stood a werewolf, snarling down at him for a second. Then it stopped, looking at him with shock. “Midoriya?” The wolf said.Midoriya looked up at the leader of the pack, Todoroki, and nodded. “Yes!” He said enthusiastically, standing up and wagging his tail.“Todoroki, what happen-” Uraraka stepped out of the bushes a second later and froze, staring at the wolf she hadn't seen in months. “Midoriya!” She shouted, running up to him and wagging her tail, smiling as she nudged him playfully “where have you been? We thought you stopped coming to the forest for good!” “I was injured” Midoriya said, taking a step back “I needed time for my leg to properly heal. Speaking of which -” he turned to Todoroki “- how are you doing?” Todoroki looked at him for a second, and then replied “I'm doing fine. I wasn't directly shot like you were, though my leg did get caught in a trap, which took a while to heal.” The three werewolves stood there talking for a while longer, before Uraraka barked that they needed to take him back to the pack, so that everyone could see that he was back. Surprisingly, Todoroki agreed. He must have learned just how much the rest of his pack cared for Midoriya. When they entered the camp, Midoriya was greeted by several different werewolves at once, all yipping and whining about why he had been gone for so long. Todoroki sat back at this point, watching his pack welcome the new werewolf back with relaxed eyes. For the next few weeks, every other day Midoriya would go into the woods and meet up with one of the members of the pack. Sometimes Uraraka, sometimes Iida, sometimes both. There were even a few times when Kirishima, Kaminari or Momo came along. Though most of the time, noticed by everyone in the pack, he met up with Todoroki. The two quickly became friends, and Midoriya spent more and more time in the woods with him and the pack. One year later, after promising again and again to visit him mother whenever he could, Midoriya joined the pack officially and fully moved into the forest. A few months later, and Todoroki and Midoriya declared themselves as mates. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Kirishima ran through the forest, staggering on his young pup legs as he chased his older brother who was leaping through the undergrowth. The two of them had gone out exploring today, his older brother wanting to show him something.Suddenly, his brother came to a stop. Slowly, he turned to Kirishima “be quiet” he whispered nudging his younger brother forward slightly as he caught up to him.“What is it?” Kirishima asked, looking up at his brother, who smiled down at him.“Humans” the other wolf said “not werewolves, like us. Actual humans” “Like the ones from the stories?” His older brother smiled softly at him. “They are both humans, but the ones from the stories are much meaner.”Kirishima looked out through the forest and sure enough, saw humans moving things inside the house. The house had been empty for a while apparently, because it was so far outside of the town that most humans like to stay in. But now a family was moving in, from the looks of it. One with two young children and two grown adults. The two kids ran around, laughing and playing together as the adults finished moving things in. “Humans are so fun to watch” Kirishima murmured, not turning to look away from the family as the parents called their young closer to them.“Hey, could you keep a secret, Eijirou?” His older brother whispered, slowly backing up and motioning for the younger to follow. Looking up at his brother with eyes full of pure curiosity, Kirishima nodded quickly. His brother smiled, looking down at the small werewolf in front of him with slightly saddened eyes.“I'm going to live among the humans, Ei.”At first, Kirishima didn't exactly know what that meant. His brother was leaving for a while to go live among the humans, was that it? He was going to be closer to human territory, or something else?The other werewolf seemed to pick up on the fact that he had confused his younger brother, and smiled softly at him. “I'm going to live among humans, as a human. I won't be coming back to the forest for any longer than visits.”“But why?” Kirishima asked, looking up at his older sibling. “Aren't humans evil? They kill all werewolves they can, don't they?” “Some are bad, but not all. I've made friends with some of them, even fallen in love. I want to form a new life over there, different from the one we have in the forest. Just don't tell anyone yet, okay? Especially mom or dad.”Young Kirishima nodded, not fully understanding what his brother was saying. His brother wanted to go into the human territory for a while, saying that he would live there, but he didn't actually like humans, did he? He was just going over there to learn more about them, maybe attack some and then he would come home.After all, Kirishima had only heard bad of humans all throughout his life up until that point. His young mind couldn't fathom actually liking the creatures that had almost destroyed his pack and his species multiple times in the last few centuries. “Alright” was all that the young werewolf said to his older brother, nodding along. His brother visibly relaxed, wagging his tail the slightest.“Thanks, Ei.”--------------------------------Kirishima awoke with a start, raising his head to look around the den and figure out exactly where he was. After a moment of figuring out that what he had dreamed was, well, a dream, the red werewolf let out a huff and rested his head back on his front legs, which were stretched out in front of him.Next to him, his fellow pack mate and friend Kaminari shifted a little, though the other didn't wake up. He lay there for a few minutes, trying to tempt himself back to sleep, before giving up and leaving the comfortable den in favor of the fresh, cool morning air. Kirishima had been having those dreams more often, recently, and he couldn't pinpoint why. He had never actually interacted with a human, and seeing his old pack hadn't happened since he ran away to join the one he was currently in. Well, he didn't fully know if he could call the dreams dreams. They were more memories, just ones that happened while he was asleep. That had all happened when he was three, maybe four years old and still a young innocent pup. Up until his elder brother had said he was leaving to live among humans, Kirishima had never before heard a good thing about them. No, up until that point he had only heard the stories of how his ancestors had desperately fought against humans who had been hell bent on taking them all out to sell them on the black market. He had only been taught that, given the chance, a human would do the same thing today. So, of course, when his parents had found out about Kirishima’s older brother leaving the pack for the dreaded enemies, all hell had seemed to have broken loose. Fights broke out between his parents and his older brother, and the pack seemed to all turn on his brother at once. “If one of us is going to think about living alongside the enemy, they're already as good as dead to the pack” Kirishima remembered hearing one of the older members of the pack snarl out during conversation. “I say we teach him a lesson.” “It has to be that family of his, right? I heard that some of them were born among humans in their territory.”“I say we ditch the younger siblings of his family. What if they turn out like him?” Kirishima had heard all of this going on, and had often ran to his parents with tears welling up in his eyes. He still didn't fully understand what was going on at this point. “I don't know why he would even think that, please, our son is clueless! He doesn't know about the stories!” He remembered his mother shouting out at one gathering in defense of her family. Even after his brother had left for human territory, Kirishima and his family had been treated differently. Kirishima especially had been, given that half of the pack couldn't decide if they trusted him not to follow in his older brother’s footsteps or not. So, when he was fourteen, he had went out on his own one night and never looked back. He had travels until he met Kaminari, who they traveled with him back to a territory where he could stay in the meantime. He and Kaminari had ended up joining the pack they were currently in at the same time after that. “Hey, Kirishima” came the voice of Midoriya as the smaller greenish - black wolf walked past him, smiling. Kirishima smiled back, wagging his tail as he returned the greeting before he watched the smaller werewolf walk toward the den. It was hard to believe that the small werewolf had only been living with the pack for a total of four years now, visiting off and on for a year beforehand. He fit in so easily, it was hard to believe that he hadn't just grown up in the pack. Kirishima stretched for a moment before standing up and walking out of camp. As much as he loved his packmates, and as much as he loved spending time with them, it was also nice to walk through the forest alone sometimes, just listening to whatever happened to be making noise at the time.It was also easier to clear his mind that way.Kirishima walked all throughout the territory, and soon found himself up against the border of where the forest ended and met up with human territory. Kirishima had long since learned that not all humans were as evil as the stories he had grown up hearing until six years ago, but he would be lying if he were to say that he would comfortably talk to one willingly. No matter how hard he tried, a part of him still followed the rules about not interacting with humans that had been drilled into him since birth.While he didn't want to make any contact with humans, he still made it part of his routine to pass by a house that had been placed for sale a few months back. It was a house with no neighbors in sight, and right on the edge of the forest. Every so often, some humans would come by and look at it before leaving. So far, none of them had come back.But today seemed different.As Kirishima walked closer to the treeline, he saw a trailer hooked up to a black truck sitting in front of the house, a few humans pacing around it and grabbing things from the back, rushing them up into the house. Slowly, the red werewolf stopped to look at them. He had never seen this before. “Oh, hey! Kirishima!” Came a voice from behind him, making him jump. Kirishima turned, feeling his shoulders slowly lower as he saw Midoriya trotting toward him in a happy manner. “What are you doing here? I thought you didn't like getting close to humans.”Kirishima snorted a little at the statement. “It's not that I don't like them, I just don't really want to interact with them” he replied, which earned him a nod as Midoriya looked out at the people rushing around the trailer and inside the house. “So what are you doing here, Midoriya?” Midoriya turned to him, and laughed shyly. “You see” he began “that's my childhood friend I guess you could say that's moving in there.”“Really?” Kirishima asked, looking between the humans and the werewolf next to him. “Do they know-”“That I'm a werewolf? No, surprisingly he doesn't” Midoriya replied, still looking out at the humans. Kirishima nodded, looking back out at the humans. “Which one is he?” He asked again after a short while. “The blond one that looks angry and is yelling a lot” Midoriya said with a soft chuckle, which earned him a confused look from Kirishima. “Are you going to go see him?” Kirishima asked after a while.“Yeah, in a bit. I'm waiting until Shouto gets up, though. You know how he gets if he wakes up and in gone without saying anything, the worrier.”“You two are both worriers!” Kirishima barked with a laugh, gently shoving the other werewolf, who laughed as though he'd been caught red handed. “Guess you're right” he said, smiling. He was back to looking at the humans, and Kirishima turned his head to follow his gaze. Sure enough, now that the person was pointed out, he could immediately figure out who Midoriya was talking about. A human with blond, explosive hair and red eyes was snarling and yelling at another human, and Kirishima could almost make out what he was saying from where he was, the other was so loud.I still don't see why werewolves like humans so much he thought, sighing as he shook his head softly. Over the next few weeks, though, Kirishima found himself walking along that strip on land and looking in on the property that Midoriya’s childhood friend now owned. The blond seemed to spend most of his time gone, coming home late at night except for the weekends. On weekends, he would spend his time doing various things around the house it seemed. Slowly, he got up the nerve to travel closer to the house, things that his brother had told him ringing in his mind as he did so. One day, he got to close. One day, he was seen by the odd explosive blond.-----------------------------Bakugou had moved into the small house surrounded by woodland about two months ago now, and ever since the day he had moved in he had felt as though he was being watched whenever he went into his backyard.The blond had already checked to see if it was other people, and even put up a few private property signs. But that hadn't really stopped the feeling. One day, when Deku had come over for a visit with his mother (Deku coming over had become more of a common thing ever since he moved into this house for some odd reason), the green haired boy had said that while there wasn't any people for a few miles around, there was a wolf pack that lived close by. Bakugou wouldn't have believed him if that night he hadn't of gone out into his backyard and swore he heard barking and howls that didn't belong to the regular house dog. Deku himself had become an interesting character over the past few years, starting when he was sixteen. He had grown rapidly stronger and leaner, with scars and scratches covering him and a new injury every time Bakugou saw him. He was more outgoing, and happier. Not to mention that he actually stood a chance against Bakugou in a fight or race now. The boy had moved out of his house at the young age of sixteen, though up until that point he had been growing more and more distant from the place. At first, Bakugou had thought that the other had simply run away, then he became shocked when he heard the boy's mother had given him permission to live on his own. Deku smiled as, now, he sat across from Bakugou. The two where sitting in the blond’s backyard, Talking about how it was slowly getting warmer at night now, which would be a good thing. Today, he had a good sized bruise on his right arm as the new injury. Bakugou had before asked the source of these, but the other boy had simply laughed and said that he spent a lot of time in the forest, which could lead to some injuries. The two had talked for a while longer before Deku had suddenly sat up a little bit, turning to look back at the forest. Deku then told him that he needed to leave, and Bakugou nodded, getting up to go back inside, when suddenly Deku stopped him.“Wait… Bakugou, could I show you something really fast?”Bakugou glared at the other boy, raising an eyebrow. If he wasn't wrong - which he rarely ever was, mind you - he thought he could detect a certain level of fear in the others voice. That was something he hadn't heard for a while. “Sure. But hurry up, I'm busy.”Deku laughed, then turned to the forest, slowly walking toward it. When Bakugou didn't follow at first, he turned back to him. “Come on, it's over here!” With a grunt, Bakugou fell into a slow pace behind the other boy as he saw the mop of blackish green hair vanish behind a tree. Was Deku showing him something in the forest?As Bakugou got closer, he heard a rustle in the bushes, soon followed by something that sounded akin to a snarl. As he got closer, Bakugou stopped in front of the forest line. He could see the bushes moving now, and something was definitely hiding in them. What the hell was Deku up to? He found out one second later when a wolf suddenly appeared in the bush, fur almost black like Deku’s hair, and looked directly at him. “Hey, Bakugou. It's me… Deku.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- He must be going crazy. That was it, that had to be it. Deku had gone into the woods, and come out mere seconds later a wolf. That kind of stuff just wasn't possible, right? He couldn't move, or talk. Just stare at the wolf that was in front of him, talking to him and claiming to be the boy he had grown up alongside for all of his life. The wolf was now nervously wagging it’s tail, and Bakugou took a small step back. He remembered Deku saying that there was a wolf pack close by, right? This had to be a wolf from that pack. “Oh hell no. I'm seeing things, I swear to god” Bakugou muttered, backing away more from the dark green wolf in front of him. The wolf was watching him, looking hopeful. How the hell could a wolf show that much emotion? Nevermind. That thought led back to assuring Bakugou he had lost it.“No way in hell are you a goddamn wolf” Bakugou snapped, trying to hold back the bitter realization that he was talking to an animal. “Well, I guess you're right in some sense. I'm a werewolf” laughed the wolf, sitting down slowly as if trying not to frighten the human in front of it. “That's not possible though” Bakugou said, leaning back and staring at the wolf again, shaking his head ever so slightly. “That’s not fuckin’ possible, people would know if there were other people who could turn into animals-” “Werewolves. That's what I am, Kacchan” Midoriya said, watching the other boy, curious as to how he was taking this all in. Midoriya had never told a human this information before, and from what he heard it was always an interesting conversation.“Werewolf? I don't think so, you-” an angry bark suddenly sounded from behind the wolf claiming he was Deku. One that Bakugou was still swearing up and down was his imagination. A second later, another wolf appeared, this one a mix of white and red, glaring at Bakugou and snarling. Deku-wolf turned to him, giving a few whines and barks before standing, turning back to Bakugou. The red and white wolf seemed to have calmed down for now, but was still glaring at Bakugou. Heterochromatic calm and piercing eyes stared at Bakugou. He seemed to be protecting the smaller wolf, Bakugou realized. “This is Todoroki. He's the leader of the pack I belong in” Deku-wolf suddenly said, wagging is tail as he spoke to Bakugou again “he's a werewolf to. There's a lot more of us than most people think, actually” he added with a laugh.I thought there were zero of you Bakugou thought, staring down at the two wolves. He still wasn't ready to believe them. Maybe it was the lack of sleep talking? Maybe. “What the hell. No, this ain't real. I fuckin’ refuse to believe it!” Bakugou shouted, taking another step back. Deku-wolf seemed to finally be getting the message, nodding and taking a step back. “I'm not lying, Kacchan” he said, more slowly this time “I've always been a werewolf. Remember all those books in my room?” He said with a smile. The wolf next to him turned to Deku, nosing him and giving a small bark. The Deku-wolf barked back, and the two seemed to be talking for a second before he turned back to Bakugou. “Well, we should be going before it gets dark out. There’s still some hunting to do, after all. How about I come back around this time tomorrow? I can explain it better.” Distantly, Bakugou felt himself slowly nod at the wolf, still staring. Your planning on coming back? He thought, but didn't say anything. Simply watched as the two wolves turned again to each other, barking for a moment. Then, with an odd grace that screamed years of running on rough terrain, the red and white one turned and launched himself back into the brush he had come out of. He was gone within a second, though Bakugou could hear the him barking as he fled.The other wolf, who was supposedly Deku, stayed for a second later, looking at Bakugou. This wolf’s own eyes were a calm green like the forest. Just like Deku’s. Then, with a similar grace to the other wolf, he turned and vanished through the brush. As the two ran away, Bakugou could hear them racing through the undergrowth and barking to one another. When they had left, though, Bakugou still felt as though he was being watched. Another wolf? Looking around, across the yard Bakugou suddenly saw a pair of bright red eyes not unlike his own watching him. As soon as the two made eye contact though, the eyes vanished into the brush. Bakugou ended up staying outside until he couldn't hear the barks of the wolves anymore, still trying to process what had just happened. While part of him didn't believe the boy, the other part of him did. Why the hell would his brain think up something like that?Bakugou didn't end up getting that much sleep that night in the end, still trying to decide if he should believe in what he had seen earlier or check himself into a mental hospital in the next few days. -----------------------------------Midoriya and Todoroki raced quickly into camp a few minutes later, both breathing heavily as they finally slowed to a halt in front of Momo, who took one look at them and laughed. “Jeez, you guys. Save any energy left for hunting?” “Y...Yeah, I swear” Midoriya replied, looking up at the female wolf. Todoroki simply smiled, nodding along with his mate. “Why all the running anyhow?” She said, still having an amused look on her face. “What’s wrong with just having a bit of energy?” Todoroki replied this time, earning another short laugh from his friend, who shook her head. “Honestly, you two are something” she began, before turning back to look at Jirou and Kaminari, both talking in the back. “The three of us are going out hunting. How about we make it five, see if we can maybe get Kirishima to join when he gets back?” She asked, looking at both of them. “Sure” Todoroki said at the same time that Midoriya yelled out an excited “yeah!”, adding a jump for good measure. “Alright, let’s get ready then. Hopefully Kirishima gets back soon” she said, looking at the entrance to the camp they called home.A minute later, sure enough, Kirishima came crashing into the clearing, landing in front of them. “Hey, Kiri! There you are! Want to go out on a hunt?” Kaminari asked, running up to his friend with a wagging tail. Kirishima turned to him, giving a hesitant smile that said ‘sorry’ before turning to Midoriya. “Actually, can I talk to Midoriya? Something real quick, I promise.”Midoriya looked at him, worry crossing his face for a second, before he smiled and nodded, walking over to where the other werewolf was standing. “Sure thing! I can catch up, you guys should leave while it's still light out” Midoriya said, turning back around to look at the four behind him as he stood in front of Kirishima.Nodding slowly, Todoroki started walking away. After a few more worried looks, (mainly from Kaminari) the small group headed out. When they had left, Midoriya turned to Kirishima, a questioning look on his face. “What is it?” He asked, head tilted slightly in question.Looking around quickly to make sure no one was within earshot, Kirishima spoke. “I saw you showing that human that you were a werewolf! Why did you it?” Kirishima said quickly, closing his eyes and looking down as he said it, not looking up as he waited for a reaction. Everyone in the pack knew that while he didn't hate humans, he wasn't particularly fond of them. Midoriya looked at the other wolf for a second, and then smiled. “He's my friend from when I lived among humans” Midoriya said in his usual happy voice. “I don’t know why I showed him, exactly. We’ve known each other for a long time now, almost since we were babies, in fact”, Midoriya said, a slight smile on his face. He observed the other wolf for a second, seeing that there was still a certain amount of uncertainty held in them. “I trust him” he said after a moment, still smiling “he’ll keep the secret, and nothing bad will happen to us.” While he didn't yet feel safe with someone knowing of their existence, he guessed Midoriya knew what he was talking about. The other was careful when it came to the packs safety, and wouldn't risk something like that unless he knew they would be safe. “Okay” Kirishima finally said, taking a step back from the other werewolf. Thoughts were still racing through his mind at a mile a minute, yet he was done asking questions. He didn't want Midoriya to think he was thinking less of him for revealing the existence of their kind to this Bakugou boy. “Well… I'm going to go catch up to the hunting group now, you coming?” Midoriya asked, slowly backing up as well. Kirishima shook his head, a small smile on his face. “I'm pretty tired, tomorrow morning though, okay?” Kirishima could tell that Midoriya knew he wanted time to think this event over, but thankfully he didn't say anything. He had told Midoriya his past in brief conversation before, but never gone into too much detail on it. Midoriya simply knew that his brother had left the pack to be a human, and that Kirishima and his family hadn't been fully accepted for it afterwards. “Alright, see you Kirishima. You can talk to me later again if you need to” Midoriya said, now turning and looking back as he spoke. When Kirishima nodded in understanding, the other werewolf turned fully now and ran out of the entrance to camp after the hunting group. When he was gone, Kirishima walked over to a shaded spot in the camp and flopped down, laying his head in his paws. Thinking of the human and how he knew of werewolves now made him uncomfortable. But then again, this wouldn't be the first human to find out about werewolves. Hasn't his older brother mentioned something about the human female and her friends he was going to live with knowing he was a werewolf? That had been one of the reasons Kirishima’s family had suffered so much after he left. Kirishima fell asleep in that spot, not waking up until long after the sun had already set. He awoke only when Kaminari gave him a small nudge, a worried look on his face. Kirishima shook it off, simply smiling back and getting up to follow the other werewolf inside the den for the night.Before he fell asleep again, now huddled against his fellow packmates for warmth, a single thought rushed through his head. He would be seeing that human again, no matter what. He had to know if this human was someone that could be trusted, despite what Midoriya had already said. His nerves wouldn’t relax until he did. Through the woods, lying flat on his back and staring at the ceiling, Bakugou reflected on what had happened today. Midoriya had said he was coming back tomorrow, right? All could be sorted out then. --------------------------Midoriya awoke the next morning to see that the sun had already rose, long ago from the way the shadows stretched inside the den he lay in. A quick look to his side confirmed that his mate, Todoroki, had already gotten up. Probably for a morning patrol, to make sure there were no black market hunters in the area. The other took his role as pack leader extremely seriously, taking any danger that the pack faced to heart. He liked to not put others in danger, which was why he always left early in the morning too patrol. Midoriya had tried talking to him once or twice, telling him to patrol with someone to no avail. Barking from outside caught the small werewolf's attention, causing him to finally stand up, stretching before steadily padding outside. When he got into the clearing, he was greeted with Jirou and Kaminari chasing each other around the camp, barking as Jirou tried to outrun her friend. A quick look around had Todoroki in his sights, the leader sitting next to Uraraka as the two talked. “Shouto!” Midoriya barkes, running across the clearing and brushing up against his mate as he stopped next to him. “Hi Uraraka!” He quickly said, his friend smiling and returning the greeting. “I'm going to meet up with some people from the other pack nearby today! Are you coming, Deku?” She asked, wagging her tail back and forth as she spoke. Midoriya, now sitting next to Todoroki so their shoulders brushed, simply smiled and shook his head. “Big day for me. Meeting up with Bakugou again today, we’ll see how he took yesterday.”Only a select few knew of what had happened yesterday, Uraraka being one of them, Momo and Kirishima being the others. As he said this, Uraraka smiled and nodded in understanding. “You’re coming, right Todoroki?” She asked. “Yes, it would be rude if the pack leader himself didn't attend. Even if this isn't an official meeting” he replied, earning him a small playful shove from Midoriya. The three talked for a few more minutes, laughing as Uraraka talked about some mishaps she had had when she was younger. Then, hesitantly, Todoroki got up and turned to Midoriya. “Looks like it's almost time for us to go”, he said with a look to Uraraka. “Your going to see Bakugou soon, right? Stay safe, just in case he reacts badly.” Midoriya smiled at his mate, standing up too and rubbing his muzzle against Todoroki’s. “I'll be fine”, he said with a smile, pulling back and staring into the other’s eyes. “Alright, I trust you" Todoroki said, rubbing against Midoriya as well before pulling back. “We probably really should get going though” he said, nodding his head toward Uraraka as he spoke. “Alright, bye. I'll see you later tonight. Remember we’re heading to my mom’s in a few days, right? She’s getting worried now that the weather's colder out.” Todoroki smiled and nodded. “Your mother shouldn't worry, she always gives us enough food to feed the whole pack all winter long” he said with a laugh. Midoriya couldn't help but agree with that. While his mother was slightly more comfortable with the idea of him living in the forest, the nearing winter season always made her anxious. He knew that it stemmed from her own experience living in the woods, in a pack that had often not eaten a lot when the cold season struck. Therefore, she would often have Midoriya and Todoroki play deliverer and take food back for the pack. It was either that or she invited the whole pack in for food, something that happened at least once in the winter season. “See you tonight” Todoroki replied, and then turned to Uraraka, nodding as the two started to leave. As they did so, a few others trotted to join them. As Midoriya stood up and looked around the clearing for the first time since waking up, he realized that Kirishima was missing. He hadn't seen him leave with Todoroki and the others, had he? He hadn't seen him at all today. Normally, Midoriya would brush it off, thinking that the other werewolf had simply gone out patrolling or something earlier. Nothing to worry about. But after yesterday, he couldn't help but worry the slightest. He knew how mistrusting Kirishima was of humans, as he came from a pack that had constantly fought with them in the past. On top of that, he knew that an incident with Kirishima’s family and human interaction hadn’t ended well, being the reason he had fled the pack in the first place. Hell, Kirishima had been slightly awkward around Midoriya, a fellow werewolf, when he had first joined. Midoriya had just carried too much association to humans for his liking at first. It was almost time, Midoriya realized. He figured if he approached Bakugou in human form and made it known that he remembered yesterday to, it would be easier convince him that it had actually happened. That it wasn't just a figment of his imagination. Still wondering how exactly Bakugou would react, Midoriya ran out of the camp at a quick pace. These next few hours would definitely be interesting. -------------------------Kirishima shifted in and out of the bushes near that Bakugou’s house, curiously looking out across the lawn. He hadn't seen the human to much today. The few times Bakugou had left the house for some reason, Kirishima had pulled back into the brush and felt himself freeze until the human went back inside. The human had looked around a few times, for Midoriya Kirishima presumed, before heading back inside. He hadn't seen Kirishima yet, as far as the werewolf was aware. The red wolf was happy keeping it that way for now. He stayed there for a while, just watching the human. He couldn't help it. He had always wondered why his brother had left the pack to fully join human society, but had never thought to hard about it. Hadn't wanted to. Now, though, he felt the slightest temptation to. It was a few hours into this that Kirishima heard the brush slightly shifting the distance, signifying something fairly big running this way. It had to be Midoriya, Kirishima realized. He had said he would be back today, after all. Slowly, Kirishima stood up and took one last long look at the house. It hadn't seemed like the human had called others over to possibly hurt Midoriya, like the humans in the stories he had heard from his parents had. As he heard Midoriya get closer, Kirishima turned and moves back into the brush, vanishing into it like he had never been there.A second later, and he was running through the brush back to camp. As he ran, something in the back of Kirishima’s head told him he would be back to that watching spot again before he knew it.
11389650	Dao liubvi	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": null, "Fandom": "Muse (Band)", "Language": "Русский", "Rating": "Mature", "author": "by batkondrat", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2012-09-08T00:00:00", "words": "529", "Additional Tags": "Crack, Established Relationship", "Relationship": "Matt Bellamy/Dom Howard", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Мэттью вошел в опочивальню, освещенную свечами, стоящими на разных поверхностях: на сундуке, на тумбе и полу. Взгляд упал на низкое ложе с огромным количеством подушек разных размеров с кисточками на уголках. Среди них на животе лежал прекрасный блондин, приподнявшись на локтях и разглядывающий Мэттью с улыбкой.- Кто ты, о, прекрасный незнакомец? - тихо вопросил Мэттью, улыбаясь ему в ответ.- Я тот, кто томительно ожидал твоего прихода, - так же тихо ответил Доминик, склоняя голову немного вбок и грустно глядя на подушку перед собой. - Кто изнывал в одиночестве, кто с предвкушением ожидал, когда по венам заструится сладкий мед при виде достойного мужчины… - он снова поднял взор, с надеждой глядя в глаза Мэттью, - Так вставь же свой меч в мои ножны! Давай же сольемся в единое русло наслаждения!- О, прекрасный незнакомец, - Мэттью подошел к ложу, вставая на колени перед ним и глядя в огромные глаза, наполненные греховным желанием, - твой голос - музыка для моих ушей, твое тело, - Мэттью приласкал его своим взором, отмечая прекрасную долину его изогнутой спины и идеальность двух холмов, рассеченных таинственным ущельем, - неизведанная страна, жаждущая быть исследованной! Мой нефритовый стержень изнывает, жаждя разведать самые сокровенные и потаенные ее уголки…- О, мой смелый путешественник! Моя потаенная пещера открыта для тебя! - Доминик положил голову на подушку, с улыбкой глядя на своего спасителя от тоски и одиночества.- О, прекрасный незнакомец, я пленен тобой! - Мэттью пополз к нему, расчищая дорогу перед собой от подушек. - Я возжелал тебя с первого взора, брошенного на тебя, - Мэттью снова оглядел два идеальных холма.- Твои слова заставляют меня чувствовать себя безумцем, - простонал Доминик, едва Мэттью коснулся его ладонью, изучая шелковистую кожу.- О, прекрасный, я хочу заставить тебя почувствовать себя на вершине блаженства!- Так сделай же это, о, смелый завоеватель! - Доминик еще больше выгнул спину, пряча лицо в подушке, а Мэттью посмотрел на его светловолосый затылок, обхватывая его за восхитительные чресла и, подавившись, замер.Доминик, с прикрытыми очами, с томным дыханием из приоткрытых, нежных, как лепестки розы, губ ожидал, когда его сокровенное лоно будет наполнено, но, почувствовав заминку, повернул голову назад, встречая взгляд Мэттью, прикусившего обе губы - он как будто боролся сам с собой. Медленно, все еще стараясь удержать реакцию, Мэттью расхохотался, утыкаясь лбом в поясницу Доминика, и тот тоже рассмеялся, пряча лицо в подушке.- Отвали на хер, от моих сокровенных холмов! - Доминик вильнул задницей, заваливаясь на хорошо замаскированном матрасе. Мэттью рухнул рядом с ним, закрывая лицо руками.- Завоеватель… Завоеватель, блять! - воскликнул Мэтт, давясь смехом. - Ну, надо же было ляпнуть такую херню! - он шлепнул Доминика по бедру.- А «нефритовый стержень» - это вообще верх поэзии! - отбил Доминик. - Начитался всякой херни! Сам захотел такое попробовать! Я предлагал просто потрахаться. Просто, слышишь? Ты мне теперь должен за весь этот бред, устроенный в моей спальне, - Доминик кивнул на убранство комнаты.- Не, ну красиво же, - пробормотал Мэттью.- Охренительно. Особенно учитывая, что готовил всю эту хрень я три часа, а до секса дело так и не дошло! В следующий раз мы поиграем во французскую горничную и внезапно вернувшегося с деловой встречи ее работодателя. Меньше декораций. Я поищу подходящий для тебя размер платьица, - улыбнулся Доминик, - и перистую метелочку для смахивания пыли.Мэттью закусил губу, задумчиво глядя в потолок.- Я бы тоже себя трахнул в таком костюме.Они вместе рассмеялись.- Ну что, спать? - хмыкнул Дом. - О, мой смелый завоеватель?
11379480	He Didnt Notice	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Keith (Voltron), Lance (Voltron), Pidge \| Katie Holt, Hunk (Voltron), Coran (Voltron), Allura (Voltron)", "Fandom": "Voltron: Legendary Defender", "Language": "English", "Rating": "General Audiences", "author": "by JosRose (SleepyBear317)", "chapters": "4/4", "completed": "", "published": "2017-07-02T00:00:00", "words": "5,253", "Additional Tags": "Fluff and Angst, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, klance", "Relationship": "Keith/Lance (Voltron)", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	It was late, but then again, it always seemed late while the castle drifted through the stars. Keith tossed in his bed for the fiftieth time. Shiro was gone… He was missing somewhere out in the universe and the rest of the Paladins didn’t know where to look. He threw his covers off and to the side, swinging his feet to the ground. He needed some air. He needed to think. He needed to get away.Down the halls of the castle he wandered. He didn’t know where he was headed, and right now, he didn’t really care. The Bridge. The Red Lion’s hanger. The training deck. Keith stopped walking in front of the door. He thought for a moment, sighed, and then went inside.Round after round he fought against the androids. He took out his frustration, his pain, and his worry on the hunks of metal that came down through openings in the ceiling and up through panels in the floor. He fought them off until he felt the pull of sleep finally dragging him back to reality.“Pause training sequence,” his clear tenor voice echoed through the cavernous room as all movement except for his labored breathing stopped.He no longer strode with a sense of urgency and a feeling of being lost when he left the training deck. Now, his feet seemed to weigh him down, his bayard felt too heavy for his hands, and his mind only thought of finding somewhere to rest. Having traveled quite a long way in his wanderings, the closest place was the couch in the lounge.Keith finally slept. Elsewhere in the castle, other minds that should have been sleeping were also restless at the loss of their brave leader and friend. Pidge hadn’t left the Green Lion’s hanger in several hours. She spent her time scanning for Shiro, adjusting her equipment, and modifying the Green Lion. In the beginning of her escapade, Hunk had opted to join her. But, upon seeing that she would neither look at or speak to him like she normally would while she worked, he chose to find his own way of coping in the kitchen.The staple food on the castle was green food-goo; however, Hunk prided himself on his skills in the kitchen, even though the space ingredients made for some early mishaps, such as cookies that made better scaultrite lenses for the teludav than snacks. Since then, he had made a cake that turned to soup after three minutes, and a pasta which, currently, had not killed anyone yet. He had high hopes for his new recipe as he began to pour out his grief into his cooking.The Alteans, though obviously troubled and hurt by their friend’s disappearance, kept plodding away at the ever-growing task of defending the universe. Now, with yet another life lost to the hands of Zarkon, Princess Allura threw herself and all of her energies full tilt into planning the next move and preparing with the Blade of Marmora. Likewise, Coran found his hands full repairing the damage sustained in the final battle against Zarkon. If he was being honest, he was surprised to see the ship still able to support life, let alone be on its way back to the Balmera in order to harvest another battleship-class crystal.This left Lance ample time to himself to think. Normally, now he would be sleeping, or training. He could never tell what time it really was without the sun. But he had decided that it was probably night time back on Earth. Lance sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time in the span of about an hour (or a varga).He looked out the window at the stars passing by as this fantastical ship soared through the universe. Earth, he thought. Home… Mom… He shook himself as he felt a tear begin to well up in his eye. No, not now. I have to be strong. She would want me to be strong... So would Shiro… That was the last straw. His chair gave out a high-pitched screech as it slid a couple feet on the hard metal floor. Lance ponded one fist against the clear window as he stood and began to walk out of his quarters.That was stupid, he told himself as he shook the tingling sensation out of his hand while his feet carried him to some unknown destination aboard the ship. Lance tried to make himself useful when he came across Pidge in her hanger, but she simply shooed him away. When he found Hunk elbows-deep in a bowl of foul smelling purple and yellow sludge, he decided to excuse himself before he might vomit. He walked onto the bridge and was promptly ignored by all individuals deep in thought for planning the next move, so he continued on until he found Coran working in a compartment off one of the main halls. He didn’t stay long, however. Once Coran started telling Lance about the delicacies of the Altean waste disposal and pest control systems, he had had his fill and was ready to be alone once more.Again, he was left to wander the halls of the ship, until he came upon a room that had quickly become one of his favorites: the pool. The mellow feeling that had plagued him since returning to the ship after the last battle melted away as he stepped through the doors and heard the cool water lapping at the edges of the pool. He quickly grabbed his swimming trunks from his self-designated cubby and carefully ran to the locker rooms.Lance was never really sure which one was the men’s room, because the signs all over the ship were in Altean. But Allura never joined him in the pool, despite his frequent requests, and Pidge rarely left her labs. So, Lance figured that whichever one he used would be good enough.A splash resounded as Lance’s body hit the surface of the water. He let himself sink for one second, two seconds, three. His toes hit the bottom of the pool, and he kicked as hard as he could, rocketing himself upwards through the cool water to the surface. He gulped at the air before plunging himself headlong into the water once more.His mother had been the one to first teach Lance how to swim when he lived back on Earth by the sea. Back before the Galaxy Garrison, before Voltron… Lance often came to the pool when he found himself troubled or missing his home world. The icy touch of the water reminded him of the place he had left, the place he looked forward to, one day, seeing again. The sounds of the shallow waves as they struck against the metal edges of the pool reminded him of home, and days spent with his family. He was at peace.It seemed like only a few ticks had passed when Lance heard Hunk calling him over the com system for breakfast. I must have spent more time down here than I thought. Begrudgingly, he pulled himself out of the pool and let the water slide and drip off of his body as he walked to grab his towel and change into normal clothes. Keith didn’t show up to breakfast. But no one blamed him. Allura had also refused to stop her work for something so simple as a meal. No one talked. They simply stared down at their plates and picked at their food. Hunk had managed to rescue his purple-yellow slop, but none of his friends much felt like eating after their exhausting night.Lance walked in on the solemn meal with a fake smile that he hoped looked genuine. “Sup, guys? What’s the grub?” He was met with sideways glances and a couple nods as he slid down into his chair. The mess on his plate seemed to stare up at him as he began to join his fellow crewmembers in the silence that was their breakfast table. “So…” Lance began. “Where’s Keith? I mean, like I don’t really care. But shouldn’t he be here sulking or something?”Hunk responded with a mere shrug. “I called him. Guess he doesn’t feel much like eating.”Silence resumed and filled most of the meal, while Lance tried to make small talk without much luck. Once his plate was finished, Lance placed his dishes in a neat stack and excused himself. He needed some space.As he passed through the lounge, he saw a familiar mop of black hair poking up over the edge of the couch. When he got closer, he saw Keith sprawled out on the cushions, his bayard resting near his hand where he dropped it. Looks like I’m not the only one who couldn’t sleep last night, Lance thought as he looked down at the form of his greatest rival. While Keith slept, Lance almost forgot the hatred and bitterness he often held against this boy. He saw himself; a tired, scared teenager thrust into a situation he wasn’t even sure he wanted to be in.Lance removed his jacket from his shoulders and gently draped it over the sleeping form on the couch. “We’ll make it through this,” he whispered as he stood up and left the room. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Keith woke some vargas later still on the couch in the lounge. None of the other Paladins had seen fit to wake him after their own restless night without their leader. The pilot of the Red Lion sat up slowly and reached for his bayard laying on the floor next to him when his groggy mind finally registered the unusual weight across his torso. Upon closer inspection, after Keith had rubbed the sleep from his eyes, he was met with the sight of Lance’s jacket. The jacket that Lance had worn every day since Keith had met him. Keith vaguely recalled overhearing Lance tell one of the others that it had been a gift from his mother when he had left home to attend the Galaxy Garrison. Lance treated that jacket like his prized possession. Keith ran a hand over the leather that seemed to be wearing a little thin in places. Growing up with only a father at home, Keith had learned some necessary skills to take care of himself and his dad like the proper way to do laundry and how to sew. A thin smile began to grow as a thought began to form in the Red Paladin’s head. He gently folded the jacket and strode out of the lounge. “Hey, Coran, do you have a minute?” “Why sure, Keith. What d’ya need? If it’s something to do, I have plenty of scrubbing to do in the waste management systems...” Keith cut off the older Altean before he could begin to tell a story that Keith was sure he didn’t need to know. “Actually, Coran, I was wondering if you had any sewing supplies. I got a hole in my favorite jacket last night while in the training sequence.” He hoped he looked nonchalant about his request. Coran thought for a second as Keith watched his mustache twitch. “Ah, yes. We set up a room for a tailor down in the second quadrant, next to the third engine run-off room. It should have all the materials you need. I remember when I was first building the Palace of Lions with my grandfather…” Keith quietly slipped away as Coran began to drone on and on. After making a few wrong turns here and there along the way, he found himself in a room full of material, thread, needles, and some sort of machine that Keith supposed could have been a sewing machine. Well, he thought, good thing I know how to sew by hand. Lance returned to his quarters after having a long, one-sided talk with his Lion. Blue never really answered him with anything that sounded like words, but the feelings were there, and Lance could tell that his Lion understood how he had felt. It was good to just get his grief out there in the open, which was hard when his teammates seemed to internalize their feelings. He let out another deep sigh as the door opened to his bedroom. Laid out neatly on his bed was his jacket. For a second, he didn’t remember why he hadn’t been wearing it. As realization dawned on him, he stepped closer; something seemed different. He picked up his well-worn garment to discover that the loose seams had been re-stitched, the stains that he had never been able to get out after rescuing Shiro from the army quarantine on Earth were gone, and the patch with his name on it that his mother had sewn to the inside of the jacket had been mended. The Blue Paladin stood there for a long time, holding his beloved jacket and running his fingers over the professional-grade stitches that now adorned the fabrics. He did not notice the dark-haired boy watching from the doorway. Neither did Lance notice the first real grin that spread across the boy’s face for the first time since the attack on Zarkon. Keith couldn’t stop the smile on his face as he quietly excused himself from watching Lance admire his handiwork on the jacket. When Pidge asked about it as he walked through the lounge, he simply said that he had had a productive day. She arced an eyebrow, but ultimately shrugged her shoulders and turned away, returning her attention to fishing whatever part she needed out of her old backpack. The backpack caught Keith’s eye as he passed a little closer. The canvas was fraying in places, and one of the straps had started to detach. Looks like I have found my next target. Getting his hands on Pidge’s backpack was harder than Keith had originally thought. But eventually he was able to empty the contents and slip the bag out of her room while she was busy in the lab. While going through the pockets, he found one containing patches from various events that Pidge must have taken part in. There were still darker spots on the back pack where the patches had once ridden proudly with her name, “Katie Holt,” prominently displayed. Keith took these with him as well. After Pidge’s back pack, came making an apron for Hunk, complete with “Paladin’s Pasta House” appliqued across the front. Keith was just heading out to begin a “Coranic the Mechanic” jumpsuit for Coran when he found a package nestled amongst his personal belongings in his quarters. The little red package would have been easily missed with the edges of Keith’s jacket curled around it. The Red Paladin stopped and sat down next to the small bundle of red. Slowly, he pulled the cord and allowed the paper to fall away. It was a framed photo. The frame was of a polished wood with wood burned lions running around the edges. The words “We are a Family” were also engraved into the surface of the frame. However, it was the photo inside that caught Keith’s heart in his throat. It was from the day of their food fight in the dining hall. He stood laughing in a group of teens covered in green food goo with their wrists cuffed together, and on the far right of the photograph stood Shiro. Keith’s friend, mentor, and second father. Keith couldn’t stop the tears. He barely noticed them as he held the framed photo to his chest and curled up on his bunk. He didn’t notice the brown-haired boy in the well-worn jacket watching from the doorway. He didn’t notice the tears and small smile on the boy’s face as the door slid shut with a silent whoosh. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- As the sun rose and a new day began on the Balmera, the Palace of Lions landed near the cavern where the inhabitants of the great creatures made their homes. It had been five days since Shiro’s disappearance, and the other members of their rag-taggle band of misfits had slowly begun to recover from the shock that came from losing their leader and friend.Upon exiting the ship, the Princess and Coran were escorted to the most recent battleship-class crystal, and Hunk tagged along to spend time with his friend Shae. Pidge, who never wanted to miss an opportunity to work on her equipment, opted to stay indoors.Lance, who didn’t want to spend any more time alone, but didn’t want to seem too eager to spend time specifically with Keith, decided that he should challenge the Red Paladin’s masculinity and suggest a speeder race. Keith did not back down from the challenge.“Give up, hot head. You’re never gonna beat me,” Lance laughed as the two sped across the surface of the ancient alien, kicking up clouds of dust.“In your dreams,” Keith shouted back into his com as he gunned the motor of his speeder and pulled ahead.Faster and faster the two rode, glancing at each other from time to time.“Keith! Wait, stop!” Lance shouted.“Oh no, you’re not gonna get me with that.”“Keith!” But it was too late. Keith’s speeder rocketed over the crevice. Lance pulled up short and ran to the edge. He couldn’t see him. Where was Keith? Wait. Is that him? Through an opening in the cloud of dust, Lance could just catch a glimpse of red. “I’m coming Keith!” Lance jumped off the edge, and started up his jetpack. “I’m coming, buddy,” he whispered. First things first when coming across an unconscious body, check for signs of life. Better thank mí Tío for the first aid lessons. Lance had landed some three feet or so from the unmoving form of Keith on the ground. “Hey, Keith, buddy. You ok?” No answer. Lance gently tapped on the Keith’s shoulder and spoke again. Nothing. Kneeling down beside the other boy’s lifeless body, Lance bent over with his ear above Keith’s mouth and looked down the length of his body to see if he could see any chest movements. Nothing.“No way, man. You’re not dying on me today.” Lance removed Keith’s helmet gently and felt under his jaw for a pulse. Nothing. “No, no, no, no!”Lance tilted Keith’s head back and checked his airways. No blockages. He put his ear to Keith’s chest. Nothing. Okay. I’m not losing you. I’m not letting you go. Positioning his hands on the center of Keith’s chest under the “V” of his ribcage, Lace began to give compressions. “Stayin Alive. Ah, ah, ah, I’m stayin’ aliiiiiiiive.” He gave a slight scoff as he continued to give compressions. Ironic that the correct beat for compressions is that song, he thought. He stopped compressions, checked for signs of life again. Nothing. Lance took a deep breath, and gave two gentle, yet forceful, breaths into Keith’s lungs and returned to giving compressions. “Wake up!” The tears were beginning to well up in Lance’s eyes. “Don’t do this, Keith.” His arms felt weak. “You can’t leave!” He checked for signs of life once more. Nothing. “Don’t leave me…” Lance felt his body slump. He gently rested his hand on Keith’s chest and closed his eyes. “I… I can’t… I need you, Keith…”“Shut up, Lance,” came a pained voice from the ground. “You know you don’t mean a word of any of that.”Lance’s eyes shot open. There was Keith on the ground next to him, eyes open and that cocky grin starting to form. “Keith!” Lance flung his arms around the other boy’s neck and pulled him into a crushing hug, but he released his hold quickly when Keith gave out a small wince of pain. “Sorry, I’m so sorry. I should have thought first. Where does it hurt? I can go get a bandage, or make a splint…”Keith cut him off in the middle of his worried rambling. “I’ll be fine, Lance. It’s just some bruises.” He began to sit up, but Lance stopped him as soon as he saw Keith’s face contort into a grimace. “No, you’re obviously not fine. Here, if you insist on moving, then let me carry you up to my speeder, then I’ll take you back to the castle. You can spend a couple hours in the healing pods, and then you can think about moving on your own.”Keith didn’t want to admit that he was having trouble moving, but eventually relented and allowed Lance to lift him in a bridal carry and begin to slowly ascend to the top of the cliff face where Lance’s speeder waited.“You know,” Keith began jokingly as the two boys were about halfway up. “If anyone saw you carrying me like this, they might wonder. Especially after what you said before I woke up…”“Shut up, or I’ll drop you.”“But if you reacted the same way as the first time I fell, then it would only confirm anyone’s suspicions that you actually really do care…”“Why would anyone think I care about you specifically?” Keith could see Lance’s face begin to flush. “I know first aid, and I didn’t want to lose anyone else this week.” Lance cleared his throat, but kept his face pointed up towards the top of the cliff.“Then why did you give me your jacket the other day when I fell asleep on the couch?”“Why did you fix it up? You didn’t have to do that, you know. And since when did you know how to sew?”“I…” Keith’s voice caught in his throat. “I didn’t think you would notice… Why did you give me that photo?”Now it was Lance’s turn to have his voice catch as he tried to speak. “I… I thought you hadn’t noticed me either…”Both boys were silent the rest of the trip to the speeder, and all the way to the castle. When Lance parked his speeder in its bay and carried Keith to the cryo pods, no one said a word. None of the others saw them as they walked along the halls.Lance helped steady Keith as the pod began to close. “Lance,” Keith began. But his words were cut off, and Keith fell asleep in the cryo pod’s healing atmosphere. Lance stood there watching for a few moments as Keith slept.“I know, Keith… I love you too.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- When the rest of the team returned to the castle, Lance relayed a brief version of the story, only telling the main points, like Keith going over a cliff and Lance saving his life. Naturally, there was much concern, and everyone rushed to the cryo pod chamber to check on the team hothead. Predictably, Keith had not moved since Lance had helped him into the pod. Coran and Allura checked his vital signs and ensured that the pod was properly functioning before allowing themselves to relax. It would be a day or so before Keith would wake up again, so most of the team reluctantly left to continue working on their own projects. All except Lance. Lance stayed there all day. He laid out a blanket and pillow on the floor and slept by Keith’s pod. He didn’t want Keith to wake up alone. The next day, Keith was still asleep in his pod. Allura told the team that his injuries had been worse than they had thought, and that it was a miracle that Lance was even able to bring him back in the first place. Normally, Lance would have gloated and pranced around like a hero. But not today. Lance stayed very close to the cryo pods. He even took his meals in there just to be sure that he would be there for Keith as soon as he woke up. But Keith didn’t wake up. One day turned to two; two days turned to three. On the second day, Pidge asked Lance if he would like to go with her to retrieve Keith’s speeder. Lance declined, saying that he hadn’t been sleeping well (who would when sleeping on a hard metal floor in a drafty alien space ship). So, Pidge left with Hunk and Shae. The Blue Paladin continued to stay by Keith’s pod day and night. He barely slept and only ate when his stomach reminded him that food was vital to survival. He often found himself talking to Keith in his pod for hours on end the way he would talk to Blue. He wasn’t sure that Keith actually heard him, but it made Lance feel better. He told Keith many things. He told him about his family back on Earth, his favorite memories from growing up. His love of swimming that had made him captain of his grade school swim team, “The Mighty Minnows.” Lance had come up with that name himself and was very proud of it, even though their team was always made fun of. “But we always kicked butt and took names,” He clarified. “Well, actually…” Lance’s voice trailed off. He let out a sigh. “Not always… I was the captain of a two-person team, so we rarely were ever very good…” He sighed again. “If I’m being completely honest with you, there’s a lot of stuff that I exaggerate about… I’m not really as much of a lady’s man as I like to pretend to be… I’ve… I’ve never actually kissed anyone. Heck, I’ve never even really dated anyone before… So, you gotta pull outta this, buddy… Because I’m really looking forward to calling you mine, if you’ll have me…” Lance stayed a while longer, but he was becoming so worried for Keith that he was neglecting all else. Eventually, Hunk came into the cryo pod room to check up on his friends. “Hey. Any change?” “Yeah. Totally. I think I’m going insane.”“Look… Lance, I know you feel responsible for Keith and all, but you look awful. Like, seriously, man. You haven’t slept; you barely eat… You need to take care of yourself too. You won’t do anyone any good in your current state.” “But I don’t want him to be alone when he wakes up. I don’t want him to fall out of that pod like Allura did when we first met her. Not after he just fell off a cliff…” Hunk gave a small, lopsided smile. “Lance, go take some time. Shower. Swim. I’ll stay with Keith. If he wakes up, you’ll be the first person I notify. Ok?” Lance of course refused and continued to refuse the entire time Hunk was picking him up and carrying him out of the room. “No, Lance. You are going to go shower and swim. You stink and look more stressed out than when you had to pass Mr. Zardiky’s Calculus final before you could get into flight school.” With that, Hunk dropped Lance outside of the cryo room, scurried back inside, and shut the door. After pounding on the door for a varga didn’t help, Lance figured he might as well take a shower if he stunk bad enough for Hunk to say something. Besides, a few laps in the pool sounded like the best thing in the world right about now. Inside the cryo pod, Keith saw nothing. He felt nothing. But he could hear Lance’s voice. Not all of it made sense. Sometimes, Keith’s groggy mind could only make out the tone and timbre of the Blue Paladin. Other days, he could hear every word spoken as clear as day. Today, was one of those days. Keith never knew how long Lance would sit and talk to the shell of the cryo pod, there was no sense of time in the listless, calm, darkness that had become Keith’s world. When the darkness fell away and his senses were all but overwhelmed by sights, sounds, and smells, Keith practically fell into the arms of the waiting Hunk, who steadied him gently. “Hey, Keith! You’re awake!” “Huh? Hunk?” Keith looked into the taller Paladin’s eyes with slight confusion. “Wha… What happened to me? My head feels so fuzzy.”As Hunk began to tell of the accident and Lance’s daring rescue, Keith’s mind began to fill in the blanks on its own. He looked around the cryo room, taking in the pile of blankets and pillows on the floor, along with a very familiar pair of Blue Lion slippers. “Hunk, has Lance been sleeping in here?”“What? Oh, yeah. He kind of feels like he’s responsible or something, I think. He hasn’t left this room for much more than food and using the bathroom.” “Where… Where is he now? I better go tell him I’m alright.”“Well, an hour ago I forced him out and told him to go shower and take a swim. So maybe in the pool? But I was just gonna use the coms to let him know, you know?” “No thanks, Hunk. I’ll go. I’ll be fine. Besides, I have to thank him for saving my life and all. Why don’t you go let Allura and the others know I’m ok.” “Uh, yeah. Sure. I can do that.” Hunk started to leave, but before he had fully gone, he turned back once more. “Oh, yeah, Keith?” The Red Paladin looked up. “I think there’s a little more than just responsibility driving Lance. If you feel the same way, I’m all for you guys. But, if you don’t, then you better let him down easy, because I swear, if you hurt my boy Lance, I’ll put you right back in that cryo pod.” Keith almost laughed as Hunk walked out of the room. He had never heard Hunk being so aggressive before about anything other than food and Shae. Well, he thought. Let’s go see if I can swim well enough to be on the Mighty Minnows team. Lance slid almost gracefully through the water on his back, eyes closed, just listening to the muffled sounds of the filtration system through the water. He knew he would be getting close to the edge of the pool and have to turn around soon. He had missed this; he needed the cool touch of the water to remind him that things would get better eventually. But he wasn’t expecting the tidal wave that crashed over his body, forcing him under water. He came up spluttering as he shook the water from his eyes. “Who the heck do you think you are? What are ya trying to do? Kill me?” In front of him swam a dark-haired, pale-skinned boy with a shaggy mullet. “No. Not today.” With that, Keith reached out, grabbed Lance by the arm, pulled him in close, and kissed him. Lance, taken aback at first, would have gladly let the kiss continue, had it not been for the fact that they both were quickly sinking under water. “Keith! You just got out of cryo, and now you’re going to drown the both of us just to kiss me…” The thought caught Lance as he realized what he had just said. “Well, I never got to say ‘thank you’ for saving my life… Or to tell you that I loved you too… Or that I couldn’t ask for a better boyfriend in the whole known universe… If you’ll have me…” That familiar crooked smile began to toy at Keith’s lips, and Lance couldn’t help himself. He pulled himself and Keith closer to the wall, and then kissed Keith the way he had always dreamed his first kiss would be.
11367810	Live On	{ "Archive Warning": "Graphic Depictions Of Violence", "Category": "F/M", "Characters": "Harry Styles, Niall Horan, Louis Tomlinson, Zayn Malik, Liam Payne, Original Female Character(s)", "Fandom": "One Direction (Band)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Mature", "author": "by MakatoAhane", "chapters": "15/15", "completed": "", "published": "2017-07-01T00:00:00", "words": "15,394", "Additional Tags": "Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Sexual Abuse, Physical Abuse, Child Murder, Attempted Murder, Alternate Universe - Gang World, Gang Violence, Gangs, Shooting Guns", "Relationship": "Harry Styles/Original Female Character(s)", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	I was never the type of girl to be into One Direction so when my sister’s seventeenth birthday came around and she announced that she wanted to go to the One Direction concert coming to town I was less than thrilled. I had to keep reminding myself as I slipped into my One Direction tank top that this was the last night before her freedom was taken from her. My sister had been born with a development disorder that made her mentally only twelve years old and unable to care for herself and with my dad remarrying after my mom divorced him for cheating my new step-mom didn’t want my sister ruining her ‘perfect’ family. My dad stupidly agreed to send her to this institution that focused on helping those with these disorders and tomorrow morning would be when they came to get her. I needed to make tonight the most memorable night for her so that she never forgets we love her despite what that bitch said to her. I brushed my hair over my bruised eye to hide it from the rest of the world and slipped on my Aesthetic Perfection jacket that I custom painted with their logo and lyrics to their song The Dark Half. I could hear my sister being impatient downstairs and dad yelling at her for it which was my cue to hurry.“Zee come on!” Zee was a nickname given to me by my sister when she couldn’t pronounce my name yet, but my real name was Leah. I flipped off the light to the upstairs bathroom and hurried down the steps to my sister. She was puny for her age, barely the size of a ten year old, so it was easy for me to scoop her up and head out the door. I headed out to the blue kia that my mother had given me for my eighteenth birthday and sat her inside the back on her booster seat. She hated that thing but none of us wanted to take chances with her when driving her around.“Zee, why do I have to use this stupid thing?” I sighed and looked at her.“You know why Sarah.” She huffed at me as I got in the driver side and put the key in the ignition. I backed away from the house. The concert hall was nearly an hour away from my house so I had stopped at a local gas station and got food from inside for my sister to snack on while we drove. I put my sister’s One Direction CD and let the music blare through the radio while I drove towards the hall. Upon arrival I helped my sister from the back and put her on my hip while I walked inside the concert hall. I looked down at my watch and realized we were almost thirty minutes early to the concert so we had a bit of down time. I fished out our backstage passes from the green Kings Island backpack I had on over my jacket and handed one to Sarah.“Zee I’ve gotta potty!” I sighed and looked around for the restrooms. I spotted them across the hall and made my way over towards them with Sarah in my arms, I waited outside the restroom while Sarah used it. I felt someone tap on my shoulder and turned to come face-to-face with a drunk Harry Styles. He grabbed my hand and attempted to flirt with me but I pulled my hand away.“Hello there love, I’m-” I held my hand up.“Save it, I know who you are.” My voice was sour towards him. I hated Harry Styles more than anyone else in the world because of how he chose to play with people’s feelings. “Do you not like One Direction?” Harry was angry as he spoke with me. I knew I was pushing it but he was an idol and I doubted he would do anything to me with so many people staring.“No, and I definitely don’t like you.”“Then why the fuck are you here?” He hissed it at me as he stepped closer and slapped me hard across the face. I felt my temper rising as I held my cheek and reared my fist back, Harry didn’t have time to process what was happening as I punched him square in the nose. Harry yelled in pain as he gripped onto his nose and looked at me with anger.“My little sister wanted to come see you for her birthday, but you’re such a dick I should just take her and leave.” Harry approached me again with his nose bleeding and I was prepared to hit him again when Zayn Malik came running up and got in between us.“Oh my god, I’m so sorry for his behavior. He’s been hitting the bottle one too many times.” I held my cheek as the stinging intensified. Zayn looked at me with concern as I turned away from him.“Did Harry hit you?” I nodded, “Oh god, what can we do to make it up to you?”“A full refund and a private meet and greet for my sister, I’ve invested almost four hundred dollars into this day and I don’t want that little shitbag to ruin it for my sister.” As if on cue Sarah ran from the bathroom and looked awestruck as her idols were in front of me. She was oblivious to the tension in the are as I looked at Harry with an expression of anger.“You’ve got a deal. I’ll have someone escort you behind the stage.” Zayn motioned for a security guard who walked over without hesitation and guided us back behind the stage.“Zee, this is so exciting! We get to meet them!” I nodded and smiled down at her happily despite the pain in my face. I lifted her onto my hip as we were escorted to where the boys stayed between shows and allowed to wait there until they were done. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- I watched my sister carefully as she socialized with One Direction and smiled as they seemed to really like her. I looked up from my phone as I felt someone sit next to me and looked over to see Harry sitting near me and gradually getting closer. I started to feel agitated which my sister noticed because she came and sat in my lap and looked at Harry. I could see Harry getting angry and knowing what he did to me I wrapped my arms around Sarah to make sure no one laid a hand on her. Harry smirked and looked as though he had hatched a devious plan in his head.“Are you sure she’s your sister and you’re not just some slut that got pregnant by a random man?” Harry smirked as he looked at me but that fell as I looked at him darkly. Before I could stop her Sarah slapped Harry across his face and looked at him with disgust. Harry grabbed Sarah and pushed her down to the ground where she hit her head on the expensive looking marble coffee table and fell to the floor with her head bleeding. I knew my sister was gone as the rest of One Direction hurried over to her and checked her pulse. Zayn shook his head and removed his jacket to lay over her face. I could control myself as I stood up from the couch and looked at Harry with a blank, numb expression. I stood over Harry and without thinking took the pocket knife from my pocket and looked at him.Harry stood up from the couch and attempted to intimidate me but I looked down at his slightly shorter frame the same. Harry attempted to push me back but I barely moved as I reached up and punched him as hard as I could in his cheek. He was stunned as he processed the fact that a girl just punched him but as he looked back at me with hate I knew he had intent to either kill or injure severely. I didn’t fight back when he rammed his fist into my stomach and gasped for air left my lungs. I didn’t see a point in fighting as the last real reason for my life was now gone, I didn’t have much of a home-life and I didn’t have a job or family of my own. I sacrificed my life to stay home and care for my sister because the rest of my family didn’t want to help her due to her looking so much like my mother.Harry grabbed the pocket knife and flipped it open before looking at me like he wanted to kill me. I silently pleaded that he would do it and save me the pain of living without my sister. Niall grabbed at the pocket knife, having his hand cut in the process, and looked at Harry like he had gone mad. I wanted to beg Niall to allow Harry to stab that blade into my neck, chest, wherever he saw fit but figured it was best to just remain quiet. Harry was angry having had the blade removed from his hand and punched me hard in the stomach once more causing me to double over but no sounds of pain were heard.“Harry! That’s enough now, you killed one girl and you’re on the verge of another. You’re drinking has gone too far Harry and now we have to take this girl with us and hide a body because you can’t straighten yourself up!” I looked up at Liam. I knew immediately what he meant by ‘take this girl with us’ they were going to kidnap me so I wouldn’t squeal to the police, but I didn’t even like the police so I wouldn’t go to them even if I wanted to.“We can’t just kidnap a girl Liam! We have to report this to the police as an accident and try to cover our bases.” Zayn seemed frantic. I coughed roughly trying to catch my breath.“N-No...No police..” I looked up from behind long brown hair as Zayn’s head snapped towards me.“We killed your sister we have to go to the police!” I shook my head.“My father...he’s a police captain...they’re all a bunch of pigs..”“Oh great even worse!” I weakly stood straight up and ignored Harry’s dirty looks from behind me.“Liam is right...you have to take me with you..If my dad finds out what happened your reputation would come crashing down and you’d all get jail time for murder...” Zayn sighed as Liam nodded. I looked down at my sister and Zayn walked up behind me and tied my hands together tightly with a wife beater shirt. I didn’t fight back as my eyes stayed fixed on my sister’s body while Liam and Louis lifted it up off the ground. I mentally said my goodbyes as I was lead out to the tour bus through the back secretly by Zayn. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- The tour bus stopped at what looked to be an old gas station so the boys and myself could be transferred to a normal car. I had been untied so if anyone were to see us it wouldn’t look like I was a kidnapped girl being taken by One Direction. I thought it was funny listening to the boys argue about what they could’ve done instead of taking me and hiding the body of a young girl. Harry didn’t seem to pay any mind to them as he downed a beer while watching the road pass by us in a flash. I jumped when Liam put his hand on my shoulder since I didn’t expect it but looked up at him. I knew he probably had some questions for me but I could see by his face he was unsure as to whether he should ask them or not. I looked him in the eyes and nodded an encouraging nod. I’m not sure why I was so calm around the boys since they had just killed my sister and kidnapped me, although in their defense I agreed to it, but I felt comfortable around all of them except Harry. Harry wanted to hurt me, no kill me, and he would the second he got the chance if none of the boys were watching him.“What’s your name?” I chuckled quietly to myself leaving Liam looking at me confused.“Call me, Zee.” I didn’t want them to know my real name yet, so I would only tell them if necessary and right now it was not necessary.“That can’t be your real name.” Niall piped up.“It’s not, but it’s the one I use and the only one I like to go by.” The boys nodded.“Where’d you get that stupid name from anyways?” Harry asked. He was obviously attempting to hide his anger but he wasn’t doing a very good job at it.“It’s what my sister called me because she couldn't pronounce my real name. I’d like to hold onto something from my sister if it’s alright with you jackass.” The other boys flinched at mine and Harry’s voices but we hated each other and that wasn’t going to change as far as I’m concerned.“Anyways, Zee, tell us more about your sister.” I looked at Zayn with a glare. They were talking like they hadn’t just caused her death and this was some stupid twenty questions party. I knew I was only becoming angry because of Harry butting in so I tried to calm myself down before responding.“My little sister’s name was Sarah and today was her seventeenth birthday. She was born with a development issue that made her mental age only twelve years old so she always needed a caretaker. Tomorrow she was supposed to be taken away to an institution that specializes in developmental disabilities because my father was re-marrying and my step-mother didn’t want a ‘retarded’ kid to ruin her family. I couldn’t save my sister because I sacrificed my life to care for her at my father’s home. I dropped out of college, broke up with my fiance, and even had to move back in with my father to care for her. Sarah was my life and each time she questioned me I would lie to her because I didn’t want her to know that she was the reason I gave up everything...” I looked down at my lap as I talked about my sister. Liam wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me over to him in a hug. I used my hair to hide the tears that I couldn’t stop from falling and did my best not to make any sounds. I didn’t want to seem weak because I needed to protect myself from Harry at this point.“We’re here Zee.” I nodded not looking up from behind my hair and allowed Liam to help me inside what I assumed to be their temporary home.“Uhm Zee...” I looked up at Niall as he rubbed the back of his head.“None of our rooms have space for you to sleep except Harry’s room. We don’t want to stick you with him but we kind of have no choice since you have to stay with one of us.” I nodded and looked back down at the floor. I knew if I spoke I would burst with the tears that I was holding back. Harry grabbed me by the arm with as much force as he could muster and looked at the boys with hate. He drug me off towards what I assumed to be his room causing me to stumble and not be able to keep my balance. I fell just short of his door which made him yank me up from the floor and push me into his room. He slammed the door as he walked over to his closet and pulled out four pairs of handcuffs that I assumed he normally used for pleasure. Harry grabbed my arm and roughly pinned it behind my back with the other one before putting the handcuffs on my wrists. I fought him the best that I could before he slapped the handcuffs onto my ankles and tightened them as tight as possible to the point my ankles hurt to even move. He pulled off my plain white Nike sneakers along with my socks and threw them off to the side. I was completely at his mercy and he knew it just as much as I did.Harry grabbed me by the throat and lifted me off of the ground while grinning. I could smell the alcohol radiating off of him as he held me close to his face so he’d been drinking all day long. I struggled in his hands as he started putting pressure on my neck and choking me slightly. None of the other boys could hear us this far down from the living room so they had no idea that I was being strangled in Harry’s bedroom.I gasped as Harry started putting all of his force onto my neck restricting my oxygen flow completely. I tried to get my hands out of the handcuffs so I could pull his hand away but it was no use. I was going to die by Harry Styles and I couldn’t do anything about it at this point. I let out a small gasp before closing my eyes accepting the fate that was sure to come. Spots started dancing around my eyes and everything seemed to be far away as my eyes fully closed and I passed out in Harry’s hand. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- I looked down at the girl as I dropped her onto the floor, I wanted this girl that was below me to die because she broke my heart. I placed my foot over her throat and started pressing down onto her throat to crush it, I laughed as her face twisted in pain even in her unconscious state. The door behind me opened and Niall walked in about to talk until he saw what was happening. Niall grabbed my arm and attempted to pull me away from her but I wouldn’t move. She was going to die and I was not going to let anyone else stand in my way. I looked back at Niall and shoved him from my room before slamming the door hard on his ankle that was still in the door. I heard a crack come from his ankle and he cried out in pain from the hallway. I watched from the corner of my eye as Niall stood weakly and limped his way over to me. He shoved all his body weight onto me which made me stumble off of Nicole. I growled because no one could understand why I was so damned angry at this woman since she broke my heart and not theirs.“Why won’t you let me kill Nicole, Niall?!” Niall fell down to his knees as he looked down at Nicole.“Because Harry this isn’t Nicole!” I blinked. My heart was racing as I looked down at the two people in front of me. The girl started changing in front of me as I was slowly sobering up at the news. This wasn’t Nicole down on the floor, no I remember her now, I killed her sister back at our concert. The color drained from my face as I looked down at her in horror now snapped from my drunken rage. Niall fished inside her pockets and found a small wallet that looked pretty worn down, it was one of our wallets bought from a merch shop that’s at every show. He opened it to find her ID and showed it to me.“Leah Carmichael... No this can't be true! This was Nicole just a minute ago!”“Harry, you’ve been bottling up all the anger and resentment towards her for so long that you took it out on anyone that looked remotely close to Nicole. You were never hurting Nicole but you were hurting Leah.” I dropped down to my knees next to Leah and touched her face to prove to myself that this was real. I moved her hair from her face and saw a big black eye that was hidden behind her hair, I knew I hadn’t done that as it appeared to be really old but it did tell me that Leah had it rough as it was. I felt her neck and didn’t feel a pulse coming from her body and quickly fished out the handcuff keys. I unlocked her from her bindings and started performing CPR on her hoping that maybe I can save her; Niall got the picture and helped me since I wasn’t entirely sure what to do.I sat back relieved when I heard a small gasp for air come from her. I stepped back from her as she started to wake up since I didn’t think she’d want to see my face after I had almost killed her. Niall helped her sit up and laid her against his body as he rubbed her throat, I could already see the bruises on her neck forming as she struggled to start breathing once more. I slowly approached her and grabbed her hand gently. She flinched as she noticed it was me but didn’t make a move to pull away but watched me carefully. Niall gently handed her to me and I looked down at her fear filled eyes. Niall tried to stand up only to fall back to his knees yelling in pain, I laid Leah in my bed and helped Niall stand up off the floor. I walked him into the living room where the other boys had been oblivious to what was going on because of their video games. When Liam saw me helping a limping Niall into the room he immediately shut off the game and took him from my hands.“What happened?” I tapped my fingers together unsure of how to explain what had happened to him.“Harry nearly strangled Zee to death and broke my ankle with his door when I was trying to help her. The boys looked at me with a hate I knew I deserved as I walked over and stood in front of them.“I know I deserve the looks you all are giving me and I now know that my drinking has gotten out of hand. I was so angry and drunk that I took all my anger out on that girl because she looked like Nicole. And because of my actions I’m choosing to leave One Direction since right now I’m only causing you all problems.” The boys looked at me with surprised as I made my announcement.“When you guys leave for you tour in a few days I will be staying behind. I’ll be staying here with Zee because I want to fix what I did to her in any way that I can.” They nodded and Liam walked over to me. He placed his hand on my shoulder and looked at me in the eyes with a serious expression on his face.“If we come back and there’s any wounds or bruises on her body, I promise you that I’ll give you the same ones but worse.” I was taken back by the hostility in Liam’s voice but I understood his anger with me. I didn’t know if I could honestly do this by myself but I knew I was going to sure as hell try, the next few days were going to be hell as I suffered from the withdrawals of quitting drinking cold turkey. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- The boys had been gone for almost a week now which left just Harry and I in the house. I still held doubts about being alone with Harry but I could see that he was definitely trying. He constantly checked on me and made sure to put distance between us unless I said it was okay which was nice, but also made me feel alone. I understood why Harry was keeping his distance since he was suffering from hardcore withdrawals without alcohol going through his system and there was no telling what he would do should he get angry, but I wanted company. I was trying so hard to mourn the loss of my sister but I wasn’t sad, I was happy for her because should she have lived she would’ve been isolated from us which would’ve made her miserable. I remember the long nights of listening to her cry and beg to our father to let her stay home with us but he would always say no, Sarah would then run to me and beg me to help her but I couldn’t. I couldn’t change our dads mind and I couldn’t take care of her on my own which left me feeling guilty. Her dying set her free from her own suffering and there wasn’t anything I would change about that except joining her in that afterlife.I was snapped from my thoughts by a rough knock on the door. I thought about who it could be as I walked up to the door and peeked out. On the other side of the door was a beautiful woman with striking black hair and beautiful emerald eyes, I was hesitant to open door but decided to anyways. The woman looked surprised to see me standing there looking at her and cleared her throat.“I heard Harry wasn’t joining this year's tour so I thought I would stop by and see if he’s okay, is he home?” I nodded and held up one finger.“Harry!” I heard a grunt as he opened his door and made his way to me. He froze as he joined me at his side and looked out at the woman. She smirked as she looked back at him and I realized that I had made a big mistake because this was the girl he nearly killed me over.Harry balled up his fists and growled at the girl, “what do you want Nicole?”“Oh nothing really, there’s been some rumors floating around that you guys kidnapped a girl. In fact, that looks like her right there and where’s the other one? The missing reports say that there were two that disappeared at your concert.” I could clearly see the anger rising from Harry as she purposely messed with him. I stepped in front of Harry and looked at her with a glare.“Lemme clear a few things up real quick. A, I am not being held hostage and have not been kidnapped. B, I’m Harry’s new girlfriend that’s picking up the pieces you left behind. And last but not least, C, you have no business being here anymore as you were the one that left him, so do that again and scram bitch.” I slammed the door on her face and looked up at Harry. I wasn’t sure why I defended a murderer and abuser but I knew it was something I needed to do.I turned to look at Harry and could see that he was clearly angry with me. I sighed as I headed for his room which seemed to be the place he felt most comfortable hurting me and sat on his bed as he walked in. I closed my eyes as I felt his hand make contact with my face and held back tears I so badly wanted to allow to fall. Harry lifted me up off the bed by grabbing my throat and instantly thoughts went back to when he first did this to me. I grabbed his hand this time not allowing him the upper hand and looked at him sternly.“Harry, remember what Liam told you. I don’t want you to be hurt by Liam when they return and see new bruises.” Harry seemed to snap from his senses as he dropped me and distanced himself from me. I left his room and went straight to Liam’s room where I had made myself comfortable. I would give Harry his space and let him come to me when he felt he wanted/needed to but until then I would rest. Hopefully the boys would be returning within the next couple weeks and all would be peaceful. I laid in Liam’s bed and sighed as I closed my eyes and quickly fell asleep. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- I opened my eyes to a pitch black room when I felt someone crawl into bed with me. I couldn’t see much, and I didn’t need to, because none of the boys were home but Harry. I tried to ignore him and fall back to sleep as he wasn’t doing anything to me but I heard sobs as I tried to rest. I moved slowly and turned on the bedside lamp before sitting up which made Harry flinch and get up out of bed. I grabbed him by the arm and shook my head as he got up to leave. He sat down on the bed beside me and looked at me with puffy, tear-stained eyes. I reached over and gently wiped away tears from his cheeks then tugged him down so he was in my lap looking up at me. I rubbed his head and let him sob into my lap before finally asking questions.“I’m sorry, Leah. I didn't mean to disturb your sleep.” I shook my head.“Don’t worry about that, what’s wrong Harry?” He looked nervous before finally sighing as he got the courage to speak.“I’m scared Leah, Nicole suspects something and I’m sure a lot of people do at this point. What if they find out the truth that I’m a monster that forced my friends to clean up behind me? I know what I did was evil but if someone finds out everyone else goes down with me.” I leaned down and laced my lips to his cheek softly before pulling away and looking down at him.I smiled sadly as I thought about what Harry had said. I loved the rest of the boys but with me here every one of them is in danger. If the wrong person sees me here and catches a picture of me then every one of them can go down for murder and kidnapping which scares the hell out of me. Harry sat up from my lap and looked at me with confusion as I forced a fake smile as I took his hand.“No one will find out what happened. I promise that you and everyone else will be fine as long as no one catches me in any of the windows. Does this place have a basement?” Harry nodded.“Can you show me?” He nodded again and we stood up from the bed. I held onto Harry’s hand as he lead me to a door down the hall from his room and opened it. He guided me down the steps into the basement which was as barren and grey as I had expected. I looked around and was pleased to find that there wasn’t any windows or door aside from the entrance that someone could see me down here.I turned to face Harry, “Harry, in order to avoid someone finding out about me I need to sleep and stay down here. Otherwise we risk paparazzi seeing me through the windows and we can’t have that happening. I’ll also have to cut and dye my hair so no one could recognize me if they do see me on accident.”“Leah, why are you protecting me after everything that I’ve done?” I smiled sadly at him.“My sister wouldn’t want anything happening to her idols.” I started walking upstairs with Harry following but stopped when I heard someone walking around upstairs. It was too heavy to be one of the boys so I ushered Harry back down the steps and pulled him under them as they walked to the basement door. The door opened and someone began walking down the steps with heavy thuds. I slipped from around Harry and stepped out into the open where this person would see me.“What are you doing here, Leah?” I froze.“Michael…I-I..” He had a gun in his hand and I frowned at him.“What are you doing with that gun, Michael?” He put the gun behind him as he approached me, I took a few steps back as he frowned.“I’m only here for One Direction then we can go home and let everyone know that you’re okay. They’ve been worried sick about you.”I shook my head, “No they haven’t and neither have you. I’ve been watching the news Michael and not once has anyone mentioned my disappearance. They don’t give a damn what happened to me so what’s the real reason you’re here? And how the hell did you find this place?”“Finding this place was a simple internet search. As for why I’m here, well that’s simple, I’m here to take you and your sister home so I can rekindle my relationship with your new step-mother.” I felt sick to my stomach hearing this. When I was still in a relationship with him I had suspected he was cheating on me but to hear that it was with my step-mother was sickening.“Oh, and Leah, your dad passed away four days ago. He was killed in the line of duty after having found out about your disappearance.” My heart dropped. Harry came out from under the stairs and looked at Michael angrily as he stood in front of me protectively. Michael started walking towards us and pulled out his gun which he kept pointed at Harry. I saw his finger twitch and immediately pushed Harry out of the way as he fired the gun. I screamed out in pain as the bullet entered my right shoulder but pushed the pain to the back of my mind as I grabbed at the gun. Michael tried to shoot it once again but this time it entered into the wall behind us. I ripped the gun from his hand and pointed it at him without hesitating. He held his hands up to surrender as I held the gun in his face but I didn’t care as I pulled the trigger and shot him point blank execution style.I dropped the gun and held onto my right shoulder as the adrenaline drained away. Harry rushed to my side as I started shaking and dropped down onto my knees. He wrapped his arms around me and lifted me up as we rushed to his bedroom.“We have to get you to the hospital Leah!” I shook my head no and looked up at him as he sat me down on the bed.“I need you to find me tweezers, gauze, a needle, thread, a lighter, and the sharpest knife you can find.” He nodded hesitantly but ran off to gather the materials I requested. He returned shortly after with everything I asked for and watched me carefully. I used the knife to carefully cut off my shirt to reveal the bullet wound so I could removed the bullet. I held the knife in my right hand and used my left to strike the lighter and heat up the knife to sterilize it followed by cutting open my wound. I yelled in pain as I carefully stuck my finger into the wound to find the bullet and was pleased to find that the bullet didn’t go very deep into my skin. I looked at Harry as I started to get dizzy from blood loss.“Harry I need you to take the tweezers and pull out the bullet.” He nodded despite his uncertainty.He took the tweezers from my hand and reached into the wound to remove the bullet. It took him a few times to finally get the bullet out but once he did I threaded a needle and handed it to him. He closed his eyes as I led his hand to the hole and pushed the needle through my flesh. I yelled in pain but bit onto my lip as he quickly sewed my wound shut. I pressed the gauze to my wound to soak up some of the blood as I started getting dizzy. Harry helped me lay back as I closed my eyes.“Thank you, Leah..” I nodded softly as I started to fall asleep in Harry’s bed. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- I woke up to my head pounding from people arguing in the room with me. I groaned which made the arguments cease and sat up holding my head. Harry was the first to my side as I opened my eyes and looked around. I thought back to what happened down in the basement and realized that it wasn’t a dream. I had killed my ex-fiance while protecting the man who killed my sister and kidnapped me. I was starting to think my mental health might be going down the drain.“Leah, are you alright?” I looked up to see Liam staring back at me with concern. They boys weren’t supposed to be back yet, oh god how long did I sleep?My throat was dry so I couldn’t form the words I wanted to say. I motioned to Harry for a drink and looked at him with a pleading expression which he returned with a smile. He left to go get something to drink from the kitchen and returned rather quickly. I took a drink of what I assumed to be fruit punch and relished in the cool feeling of the drink hydrating my throat. I coughed as I chugged the drink down and looked up as the rest of One Direction joined us in what I assumed to be Harry’s bedroom.“Despite having a bullet wound in my shoulder that burns like a motherfucker I’m fine. How long was I asleep?” Harry sat down on the bed with me and took my hand in yours.“You were asleep for almost a week love. The boys just got home last night shortly after you passed out. They heard the gunshots as they were pulling up so they rushed in. But Leah, who was that man? How the hell did he know who you were?”“He was my fiance Michael, I broke it off with him using my sister as an excuse but in all reality I suspected him of cheating on me. Harry, have you checked if my dad is really dead?” Harry handed me a newspaper and I looked down at the headline with tears in my eyes “Local Hero Slain in The Rampage of a Madman” I couldn’t hold the tears back anymore and started crying. Harry wrapped his arms around me and pulled me over to him gently.“I’m so sorry Leah... “ I felt tears on my back and realized that Harry was trying not to cry but was failing. I reached up and wiped his tears away from his eyes and looked at him sadly. This time it was my time to hold Harry as he released all the tears he’d been holding back since I was shot. I looked up at Liam and they all got the picture that they needed to leave for now. Harry sobbed into my chest and I felt horrible despite everything that he had done to me he was still just a child on the inside.“Harry I need to leave here. Do you remember what we talked about before I was shot? Because that’s the reason I need to leave. I thought I would be safe moving into the basement of this house but there’s gonna be those psychos like Michael who will break in and eventually someone is going to see me. And if they see me you all go down for kidnapping and murder, I don’t think you want that.” Harry shook his head as he sat up straight wiping his tears.“We have a tour scheduled to begin in England soon so we can go with the boys and go to to one of our homes over there. I think I’m gonna take a hiatus from One Direction for a while until I get myself back in check as I don’t think I’m fully free of my outbursts yet.” I found myself staring at Harry's lips as he talked and I wanted to kiss him. I didn't know what I was thinking but I needed to get that kiss.I nodded and closed the gap between Harry and I with a kiss. I pulled away with a feeling of shock overtaking my body after what I had just done. Harry looked equally surprised but placed his lips to mine once again, I hate to sound stereotypical but in that moment I really did feel a spark between us. I moved my lips in sync with his and smiled into our kiss. I wasn’t sure if it was stockholm syndrome or just my brain working against me but I was beginning to think I was falling for Harry Styles, my most hated One Direction member.“Leah, I don’t know where that came from, but I really enjoyed it. I think I like you Leah and I have no place to after what I’ve done to you and the fact that I got you shot, but would you consider being my girlfriend? You can say no and nothing will change but it can’t hurt to explore our chemistry.”I thought on it before deciding on my answer. I would be spending a lot of time with this man and it doesn’t hurt to explore the possibility of a relationship, we could never go public with it because of my sister, but I wouldn’t mind that. I looked at Harry who seemed eager for answer and nodded.“Yeah, it couldn’t hurt. We can’t ever go public because of what happened with my sister but I don’t think I mind that.” Harry kissed me again a little gentler this time.“I would say we should tell the boys, but they can’t ever stop eavesdropping.” I chuckled but the movement hurt my chest causing me to hold my chest. Harry rubbed my back in a comforting manner and the door opened to all the boys standing in the doorway. They were smiling ear-to-ear as they walked inside our room and jumped onto the bed.“I think this will be a good thing because you both need something like this right now.” Liam said.I nodded in agreement before Harry pulled me into his lap gently. I smiled in contentment as we made room for the boys to relax. A thought crept it’s way into my mind as I thought back to killing Michael.“I hate to be a debbie downer but what happened to Michael's body?” Zayn looked over at me.“Oh, we buried him. Same place we had buried your little sister so no one is going to find them anytime soon.” I nodded after having gotten my answer.“Let's have a movie night because I really need my mind off the fact that I murdered someone I loved.” The boys nodded and Harry helped me off the bed. We walked into the living room with Harry staying at my side due to lack of muscle strength in my legs. I plopped down on the couch next to Harry while Niall loaded up netflix and got the snacks. This would be the best night I’ve had since arriving here and nothing was going to change that. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- I opened my eyes with a slight yawn and looked up at Harry who, to my surprise, was looking at me fondly. He jumped as I sat up and placed my lips to his softly which he returned a few seconds later after registering what happened. I looked around and noticed we were still in the living room after our movie night with the boys, who were sprawled around the living room floor fast asleep as the moonlight shone through the windows. I rubbed my eyes and yawned as I sat up fully from my position on Harry’s lap.“What time is it Harry?” I whispered in a shush tone as not to disturb the others.“Last I looked it was coming up on two in the morning.” He replied in the same hushed tone only with a chuckle.Harry looked tired as my eyes adjusted to the darkness around us, “have you even slept yet?” I asked.He shook his head before answering me, “no, I wanted to make sure you were safe before I dared fall asleep.” I rubbed his cheek and smiled softly at him.“Well I am, and that means it's time for you to get some rest.” He nodded to show he agreed with me.We looked around us before carefully standing up off the couch and crept into the hall. We stopped when we heard Niall’s voice, thinking we had woke them up, but decided he was just talking in his sleep as we continued to Harry's room. We plopped down on his bed and Harry immediately wrapped his arms around me protectively. I thought back to when he had snuck into my room and I realized that Harry needed me as much as I currently needed him. He was suffering on the inside and was hiding it from everyone that was close to him. I wanted to help Harry and comfort him when he needed me to, but he hides this part of himself so deep inside his heart until it eats him away. I knew I had to protect him and I knew that I shouldn't because of everything he has done to me but I think I am falling for Harry Styles.I looked up towards Harry and saw him staring off into the darkness, “Harry,” I stated.“Yes, love?” He responded immediately meaning he wasn't trying to sleep.“Lets run away. We have a lot on our shoulders right now and I don't want to drag the others down with us.” Harry sat up on his elbow and looked down at me as I laid under him.“I've been pondering just taking you and leaving far away from here, If you're serious about this then we need to do it tonight.” I nodded although surprised. I had thought that Harry would shut the idea down and insult me for even suggesting it, I had never thought that he would be getting out of bed to run away with me. I looked at the clocked and noticed it was fifteen minutes until three in the morning.“We will need to hurry, Liam gets up at five-thirty every morning.” Harry nodded.Harry pulled two large suitcases from his closet and flipped on his desk lamp. He started cleaning out his dresser as quietly as he could and packed his clothing, accessories, and an extra pair of sneakers into his suitcases. I didn't have anything to pack so I pulled the bedding from his bed and folded it up neatly before looking at Harry. He was taking a group picture of him with the boys and wrapping it in one of the scarves before placing it inside his suitcase. Our room was on the ground floor so we carefully sat everything out the window since leaving through the front door would wake the boys up. Harry pulled a backpack from inside his closet and packed it with all of his toiletries as well as some towels, rags, and toilet paper. He zipped up that backpack and handed me his laptop and phone while he shoved any small items into his pockets.I watched Harry carefully remove a box from under his bed and opened it. It contained money that was still in its bands from the bank.“I've been secretly withdrawing money from my account for a few years now. They assumed it was for partying but I put it away so if I ever got tired of the fame I could disappear and still be set. There's got to be a few mil in here which should set us up for a long time.” He said before sealing the box shut and looking up at me.“Harry we need to leave.” He nodded and held the box as we climbed from the window.It took a couple trips to fully load up the silver mustang that rested in the garage. I had placed the money in the backseat with the bedding suitcase and the backpack on top of it so it wouldn't come open accidentally. I looked down at Harry’s phone before shutting it off and throwing it in the glove compartment.“Alright, are you ready for this Leah? We are gonna end up sleeping in this car a few times you know that right? I want to go pretty far away.” I nodded and smiled at him.“I am fine with anything we do from here on out.” He smiled back at me before pulling out of the garage and driving away from the house.“Where's my phone Leah?” Harry asked glancing towards me.“It's in the glove compartment, I turned it off so they wouldn't be able to find us.” Harry nodded as he drove faster.“It's better if they don't know where we are. They can't be bothered by our actions now and can easily feign ignorance.” I nodded and relaxed in the seat as I looked out the window. Time for a new chapter of my life to begin. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- I opened my eyes and looked around as the car stopped moving. Harry had pulled off onto an isolated path and turned on the mustangs hood so we were completely enclosed. Harry locked the doors and reclined the seat so he could get some sleep. I reached over and took his hand, he jumped having seemingly forgotten I was there, but relaxed and smiled towards me. I kissed his hand before getting comfortable in my seat once again.“How far have we gotten?” I asked.“Well it's almost eight in the morning and we've been traveling since about three-thirty. I would say we are a quarter of the way there.” Harry yawned as he looked at me.“Switch me spots Harry, I can drive for a few hours if you program where we are going into the GPS.” Harry reached over the GPS and programmed a location that was still a whole day's drive away. Harry put the seat up right before we both got out and switched places.“On the way to where we are going my dad has a secluded cabin. My stepmother didn't know about it since it wasn't under his real name, we could stop there and both catch up on our sleep if you want.” I looked over at Harry as I adjusted the seat. He nodded at me because he was too tired to form proper words. I programmed the GPS for a rest stop at my father's cabin and started the car. I back out onto the main road before heading off down the road. Harry’s quiet snores came from beside me as I occasionally glanced at the GPS. I never thought that taking my sister to a concert would end up with me running away with none other than Harry Styles, the one person I supposedly hated more than anyone else. I chuckled to myself quietly as I stared out on the road.I had been driving a couple hours and we were almost to my dad's cabin when I glanced at Harry. He looked distressed as he tossed and turned in his sleep which I figured was because of his nightmares. I pulled off the road when the GPS told me to and saw the cabin in the distance. I pulled up on the locked gate and got out of the car. It wasn't locked with the typical padlock, it was a keypad lock that only my mom, dad, and I knew. I typed in the code which clicked and the gate slid open for us. I hopped back into the car and drove through the gate before hopping back out and punching in the number to lock it once more. I went around to Harry and gently shook him until he came out of his nightmare and looked up at me.“Where are we Leah?” He asked looking around.“My dads cabin. He used it when he was undercover so no one would hurt us.” Harry nodded as he stood up out of the car and stretched.“I know you miss your dad, so we could stay here for a while if you would like. It's safe right?” He looked over at me.“Yeah, if we pull the car into the garage and minimized how much lighting we used then this place is undetectable. You can't find this place unless you know the address which is unlisted.”“Hey, I know you said your dad was law enforcement, but this seems a little much for a regular cop.” I chuckled.“He wasn't a normal cop, my dad was a double agent for a local gang. Now help me get this car into the garage.” He hopped into the driver's side while I opened the garage and watched him pull in. I found the spare key hiding in his drill case and opened the door. Harry closed the garage and started unloading everything from the car.“Okay, so you're telling me that your dad was a dirty cop?” I looked back at Harry as he brought the last of our belongings into the house.“Yeah, I didn't want you guys to go to the police because of my dad. You all would've signed your death wishes.” Harry paled as he looked at me.“He would've had us killed?!” I placed my hand on his shoulder.“Yeah, but he is dead now. No need to worry about that anymore.” Harry seemed to relax and smiled at me.“There should be canned goods and ramen noodles here for us to eat for the night. Tomorrow we will have to go get food in the small town not far from here.” Harry nodded and plopped down on the couch.“I am gonna take a nap here before we unpack.” I nodded and went into the kitchen. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- We sat our groceries on the table and Harry looked up at me. I smiled as I started putting away the groceries and hummed as I moved about the kitchen. Harry pulled out some beer from one of the bags and I looked over at him surprised. The look he gave me was one that he hadn't given me since he attempted to kill me.“How much have you had to drink while I was shopping, Harry?” He shrugged as his hand glided over the knife block that sat on the counter. I put the food I was holding into the fridge and looked at Harry nervously.“Harry, please don't do this. I don't want to hurt you.” Harry laughed.“How the hell will you do that?” I felt around underneath the table trying to find the panic button that would call my father's gang. He wasn't worried about the gang hurting him, since he lead them, but he was concerned about the police officers he worked with finding out.“Leah, I asked you a question.” I jumped as Harry whispered against my ear and held a knife against my throat. My thoughts had taken me away from Harry long enough for him to get the upperhand. I could smell the hard liquor on his breath and knew that I wasn't getting out of this one so I had to think. I knew with the training I got as a teenager from my father I could disarm Harry and take only a little damage but I would have to do something quick to prevent Harry from getting the upper hand once more. Harry grabbed my arms and lead me down the hallway until he came upon what used to be my bedroom when I came here with my dad. He threw me down on the bed and pointed to my shirt.“Remove all your clothing. I want to see your body completely naked.” I nodded and stripped off my dirty and worn clothing. Harry kicked off his pants as well as cut off his own shirt before climbing on top of me. I tried to hide my body because I didn't want him to see the scars of my past and realize how ugly I am. He pinned my arms down and checked out my body before smirking.“You're gorgeous, Leah.” I shivered under his words and cried out in pain as he shoved his hard penis inside of me. He groaned as he started thrusting in and out, slowly at first, but gradually gaining speed. I squirmed as he fucked me, trying to get away from his reach, but I only made him angrier. He stabbed the knife down into my right hand causing me to scream in agony. Harry had never done any permanent damage to me in all the attempts he has made on my life but I couldn't escape from a stab wound. It would scar and forever be seen by Harry and I.Harry groaned my name out before finishing inside me and collapsing next to me. He cuddled into my side as I laid there with a bleeding hand that still had a knife sticking straight through it. I slowly slid out of the bed and went over to my closet, I found a nightgown that I used to love and slipped it on while avoiding the knife at all costs. I went down to the bathroom and bit onto a towel as I started pulling the knife out. The towel fell from my mouth as I screamed in agony trying to remove the knife. I finally pulled the last bit out and looked down at the wound panting from the pain, my blood was running down onto the floor as I looked around in the medicine cabinet for peroxide or alcohol to clean it with. I found some 91% alcohol and poured it into the knife wound gasping from the pain and trying to hold back my screams. I hurried back to my room to grab my old sewing kit and sat next to Harry while I sewed my hand shut on both sides. I went back to the bathroom to wrap my hand multiple times in gauze and tape it down. I looked around in the cabinet and found a bottle of amoxicillin that wasn't expired yet and popped one in my mouth before swallowing it. I had to make sure I didn't get sick because we wouldn't be able to go to the hospital. I slipped into what used to be my father's room and found his old biker gloves that I slipped over my hand to hide the wound. Harry wouldn't remember any of this in the morning so I didn't want to hurt him by letting him see it.I felt faint from the pain but didn't pay any mind to it as I started making our breakfast of bacon and eggs. I laid them on our plates before going back in our room to wake him up.“Harry, it's time to wake up and eat breakfast.” He groaned and held his head as he looked up at me then himself. I kept my hand hidden behind my back hoping that he wouldn't notice the blood above his head from my hand.“What happened?” Harry groaned.“You got drunk and we had sex, well, you had sex.” Harry’s eyes opened wide as he looked up at me.“I..I raped you?” I nodded then walked over to him to help him put his clothing on so he wouldn't notice the blood on the bed.“Before you start having a breakdown it's fine Harry. I’m not a virgin and I can't have kids so there's nothing to worry about, I promise.” Harry nodded obviously upset as to what he did. I helped him sit down to eat then went back to my room and stripped the bed sheets to replace them. I shoved the sheets in the closet and grabbed out a clean set that I quickly put on the bed before I returned to Harry. I sat down next to him so I could eat my breakfast and glanced over to see him staring at my back. The nightgown I had on was a black and red lace gown that barely went halfway down my thighs, it had a mostly open back so my scars would be visible.“Leah, what happened to you that caused these?” I looked over at Harry.“I haven't been completely honest with you Harry, my dad wasn't just a part of that gang, he ran it and my fiancé was his second in command. Regardless of my status to the gang we were all punished equally and when I wouldn't listen to Michael he would cut me once. I wasn't very good at listening.” I chuckled and Harry looked at me with a horrified look on his face.“One Direction really is in a lot of danger. Is the gang going to be coming after us because we took you?” Harry sounded scared.“Yes, Harry. Michael was sent to kill you because of our past but he had other motives for coming and if they think you killed him as well then the others are in danger, but that's why we had to run away. Further we are from them the safer they are and the gang can't travel so once they leave the country they'll be fine.”“Are you sure?” I nodded.“They're safe for now. I promise.” I kissed Harry softly which he returned. He grabbed my hand and I couldn't hold back the cry of pain. He lifted the glove off my hand and saw the bandages. I could see tears forming in his eyes as he looked away from me and focused on his food.“Harry..” He shook his head.“I could’ve killed you Leah...please let me be alone for a while.” I sighed and nodded as he stood up from the kitchen and walked into the bedroom before shutting the door. Maybe staying here wasn't a good idea afterall. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- I didn't hear Leah moving around anymore so I quietly left the bedroom and slipped into the kitchen. I still didn't see Leah as I grabbed a small knife as well as the beer I had bought. I quietly returned to the bedroom and locked the door before sitting on the bed and opening one of the bottles of beer to chug it. This six pack wouldn't get me completely wasted but I didn't need to be. As soon as I finished that one I popped another until eventually the six pack was gone. This was supposed to be for celebrating our freedom but I had ruined that by drinking a bottle of rum while waiting for Leah to get out of the store, I didn't think that after everything between us I would still hurt her when I was drunk. I knew I let Leah down and I didn't deserve the love she gave to me. She would be so much happier if I were to vanish because then she can return to a normal life and One Direction wouldn't be in danger. Everything up to this point has been my fault and I just can't take it anymore. I needed to be punished like that gang would punish Leah.The bedroom door opened up despite having locked it and Leah ran over to my side. She gently took the knife from my hand and me close to her chest as she kissed my head.“Leah, please punish me..” Leah stiffened as I forced out the words.“I can't do that Harry, punishment isn't something that's taken lightly. I couldn't mark up your skin because of what you've done to me.” I let my tears roll down her chest.“Please..I don't deserve you to be so loving towards me..make me hurt like I made you hurt.” I looked up at her as she looked down at me and sighed. She closed her eyes and when she opened them they were cold and full of hate. She shoved me down onto the floor and stood above me with a scowl on her face.“Crawl down to foot of the bed, sit on your knees with your back facing me, remove your shirt, and hold onto the bed posts.” I followed her instructions leaving my skin open to her punishment. She left the room and returned moments later with an old black suitcase. She opened it and pulled out two sets of handcuffs that she cuffed my hands to the bed with. She grabbed a whip and cracked it off to her side before looking down at me.“Are you ready? Their will be six of these because of the beer.” I nodded and gripped the bed posts tighter. I yelled out in pain as the whip made contact with my skin without warning. She didn't stop and delivered five more in the same spot. I was panting as pain overcame me and started seeing spots dance across my vision. Leah flicked opened one of the razors old time barbers used and looked into my pleading eyes.“You will receive fifteen cuts for my sister, trying to kill me, and now my hand. These will be deep cuts like the ones you've seen on my back and I will not show you mercy if you faint.” I nodded unable to speak and gripped onto my handcuffs. I deserved all this pain that Leah is inflicting because I asked for this, I saw Leah's body so I knew the punishment was rough and painful.“Here they come, Harry.” I felt the coldness of the blade against my ribs and cried out in pain as it sliced open my side. I bit into my arm as Leah continued to cut in random locations until finally I had received fifteen cuts. I was crying because every movement of my body would cause me to sear in pain. Leah took a spray bottle from with the side pocket of the suitcase and sprayed down my back. I recognized the familiar pain of alcohol but was too exhausted to do anything but flinch away.“Balance up on your toes.” I nodded and pulled myself up onto my toes. My body was burning in agony as I looked over at Leah.“You will remain like this until morning. No food or water. Should you give up you'll get five more cuts and have to wait another day for me to tend to your wounds, understand?” I nodded. Leah looked as though she felt guilty but I smiled reassuringly at her. She turned away and left the room to more than likely get some sleep. My punishment took all day as the sun had now set so Leah was probably exhausted. I could hear crying coming from the room next to this one and felt guilty that I made her do this but I had hurt her too many times emotionally to justify not getting punished.Leah ran into the room and grabbed the whip as the front door opened. I saw her wipe her tears and stand up strong as the door to this room opened and two men walked in.“Leah?! We thought you were kidnapped.” Marty said. They looked down at me and cringed as they looked back to her.“I was, but then went with them of my own free will. My father has been killed, were you alerted?” They nodded.“Michael has also been killed.” Marty added and she nodded.“I am aware as I am the one that killed him. He broke the one rule we have of not sleeping around outside the gang so I killed him.” They nodded.“Harry, this Marty and John. They are our brawlers and executioners and this is Harry. I am in a relationship with him and he will be initiated into the gang later this year.” Marty looked at me with jealousy but John elbowed him in the side.“You are aware now that your father is gone you are now our leader.” John said. She sighed.“Yes, I am fully aware, and my first order of you two is to no longer hunt One Direction. I am not in danger and they did not kill Michael so there isn't a reason for them to be hunted.” They two nodded and bowed at her order.“Marty give me the phone that the gang gives you. When you return home tell them of my orders and request a new phone. You are to call me with anything that seems important otherwise I am to be left alone, do you understand?” Marty handed her his phone with a small bow before they both left the room and eventually the house. Leah collapsed onto the bed and fell asleep leaving me with thoughts about what just happened. I was starting to feel faint as my world was spinning from all this new information. I was dating a gang leader and I wasn't even bother by that as much as I should've been. Its certain a change of pace for my life and I welcomed that. I let my head hang down as I tried to drift off into a deep sleep. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- I bolted upright out of my sleep as I remembered what I had done to Harry. I held back my tears because this is what Harry wanted, he wanted to feel pain for the pain he caused me. I didn't care what Harry did to me because I loved him but being the leader of my father's gang, The Vipers, I couldn't show him any favoritism because I was never shown any. I thought back to how broken Harry looked when I was finished and couldn't hold back my tears any longer. I didn't even want to look at the foot of the bed where I knew he would still be chained to the bed but I had to, through my tears I crawled to the edge of the bed and looked down to see a limp and unconscious Harry sitting on his knees due to fainting. I knew that meant I would have to hurt him more but his wounds needed tending and I couldn't wait another day or he would surely die. I uncuffed Harry from the bed and sat behind him as he fell over into my lap. I reached for my razor with shaking hands knowing I had to do this and opened it, I made five shallow cuts across his stomach because I couldn't bring myself to do more. I laid Harry down on his uninjured side and hurried to go get bandages for his chest since I would need a lot. I quickly returned to him when the phone started ringing which I answered immediately and put on speaker phone while I cleaned Harry’s wounds and wrapped him in bandages.“There's a rival gang moving into our territory and killing our ranks. What do you want us to do?” Marty asked. I glanced at Harry to make sure he was still asleep before I answered.“I want you to kidnap their partners as well as their children and hold them hostage. I want you to make a deal and if they refuse kill the hostages one by one. Got it Marty?”“Yes ma’am we will immediately get on that.” I hung up the phone looked back to see Harry staring up at me. He forced himself to sit up from the floor despite the pain he was undoubtedly feeling and wrapped his arms tightly around my body.“Leah, I love you, I’m sorry for causing you pain.” I lifted Harry's head and kissed him softly which he returned.“I love you too, Harry.” I rubbed his cheek with my thumb and smiled softly at him before standing up and helping him up.“You need to eat now Harry.” He nodded his head too weak to fight against me as I walked him into the kitchen. I gently sat him down in his chair before whipping up some quick eggs and toast so I didn't overload his stomach.“Harry, when our food supplies run out we will be leaving here to move on to our other destination. I don't think I could stay here peacefully knowing what I've done to you here.” Harry stopped eating and I could feel his gaze on my back.“Leah..” I shook my head refusing to look at him while I made myself breakfast. My guilt was unnecessary, I know, but it killed me inside to know what I've done to Harry. Harry has done so much to me in such a short amount a time including break down the walls I put up, but I couldn't return the pain. I was soft when it came to Harry and I didn't want to be but something told me that I couldn't fix it anymore. I sat down at the table beside Harry and started munching on my own breakfast but I couldn't focus on my food and jumped when Harry placed his soft hand on my bare shoulder.“Leah please stop blaming yourself. I asked for this knowing how bad it could be, I took the beatings and the cuts because it was what I needed to do.” I smiled sadly at Harry as memories of him yelling in pain and clawing at the bedposts when I whipped him surfaced. I couldn't hold back the tears as I started crying into my hands. Harry stood up from the table having obviously regained some strength and lifted me into his shaking arms. He carried me to the spare bedroom and laid me down on the bed with worry in his eyes. I cried into the bed and Harry crawled on top of me as he roughly crashed his lips down onto mine. I started kissing him back just as rough with my hands going into his hair.“Would it make you feel better if I punished you? I can't physically harm you because that would hurt me but I can do something else that sometimes is worse than torture.” My eyes widened when I heard the desire in his voice and for a moment I forgot that Harry was even injured and nodded towards him, needing some kind of release from my pain.“I’m going to take control now Leah and you cannot stop anything I do unless it scares you. Got it?” Harry's voice was so sexual as he whispered those words into my ear. I moaned out a yes as he started ripping away my fragile sleeping clothes.“I will make you feel good Leah, I promise.” I relinquished my control to Harry as he pinned my arms back over my head.“I know, I trust you.” And I did trust Harry, with everything in my life. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- I looked over at the sleeping Harry as my body was coming down from it’s high. He was right when he told me that it was worse than torture he could have done as he had teased every part of me. The way our bodies felt when we had finally connected was better than any drug that I experienced with Michael. I slowly slid from the bed so I didn’t wake Harry and started packing up our belongings, I glanced at the window and saw someone quickly duck back into the trees, I ducked down underneath the window and slowly made my way to the living room with my packed bags. I pulled out my phone once I got into the living room and looked up John’s number from the phone’s contacts and dialed it. He answered on the third ring with a loud yawn.“Hello?” He asked; I must have awoken him as he sounded half-asleep.“John, it’s Leah. I need you to get up because I need a favor and I can’t trust anyone but you.” I heard the sound of movement come from the other end which I assumed was him getting out of bed.“Yes ma’am?” He sounded more awake as he answered me this time.“I need you to bring me one of the hummers from the base and make sure it has a gun inside it, I’ve noticed someone outside my father’s cabin and I believe they’re following me.”“I’ll have it there in under an hour.” He replied quickly.“Thank you, I would greatly appreciate it John.”He hung up and I glanced back towards the bedroom before quietly slipping back inside the bedroom. I closed up the blinds before packing up the punishment items and taking them into the living room. I looked towards the kitchen but decided against packing up the food and walked back to where Harry slept peacefully. I heard the gate alarm go off and knew that John must’ve sped to get here since he was the only other one that had learned the gate code. I heard John come in the house and walked out to meet him as he yawned.“Here’s that hummer and gun you requested.” He said with another yawn as he handed me the pistol in his hand.“Thank you, John. Has everything been going smoothly at the base?” I asked.“No, we believe the base is being watched. Now that you've seen someone following you I can say without a doubt that someone is targeting the gang.” I nodded.“When we leave here I want you to stay behind. They'll see the hummer leave and believe that Harry and I are alone once again, if they try something I trust you to catch them use the Vipers infamous interrogation technique.” John smirked as he cracked his knuckles and nodded to me.“With great pleasure, Leah.” I smirked.“I’m going to have Marty start moving the base. Regardless if it's the police or a rival gang we can't afford to lose those weapons, it would hit us hard if we lost them, especially to a rival gang.” He nodded and pointed to the doorway. Harry was standing there looking at me with concern after having obviously listened in to the conversation.“I am going to go pack the hummer to give you two some space.” John took our belongings out to the hummer as I sat Harry down at the kitchen table and softened my expression to him.“Leah, is what I heard true? Someone's been following us to kill you?” Harry asked with concern.“Yes, it is all true. I believe a rival gang we chased out could be back to get revenge.” I answered honestly because I didn't want to lie to Harry anymore. He needed to know what kind of person I was.“Then let's not go to our original destination. Let's go to one of your safe house or somewhere we can be safe because I don't want you to get hurt anymore. I will do whatever is necessary to ensure that you are safe.” I looked at Harry with surprise. He would give up his life to keep someone like me safe and happy, someone who kills mercilessly, and leads one of the largest gangs in the states. I chuckled quietly to myself before yelling for John to join me at my side.“What's up, Leah?” John asked looking between Harry and I.“I am retreating to one of our further bases. I will call in a few hours with further instructions as long as nothing is eventful and I will have you meet us. Please be careful John.” He looked at me with surprise at the compassion in my voice. He lead Harry and I to the waiting hummer before starting it himself then allowing us to climb in. He retreated inside the house as we pulled out and drove off through a different path so neither of us had to get out and punch in the code which would give us away.Harry looked over at me with fear in his eyes but I was used to this. That's why this cabin came to be what is was because we were always hunted. I looked over at Harry wondering if I should send him back to his friends but then I would have to kill him. I sighed to myself thinking about all that Harry has now gotten himself into within just a month's time. This situation was a normal thing for me but it was very different for him as a popstar even if he has seen what the gang can do firsthand with the wounds on his body. I turned off the GPS and dialed a number into the hummers built-in phone which was answered by Marty on the second ring.“What's up, boss?” Marty wasn't as formal as John which at a time like this I welcomed.“The Vipers are being hunted and they've settled on me as their first target. John is staking out my dads place to kill whoever was there but I need you to start stripping the weapons at the base and prepping them for transport. I also need you and two others to armor up in gear as well as set up three extra sets. We are raiding.”“Great, Harry raiding with us?” Marty grew excited as the news of a raid. I looked over at Harry who hardened his expression and looked at me determination.“I am raiding with you guys, yes.” Harry answered before I could.“Alright, we will see you here boss.” Marty hung up.“Anything it takes, Leah.” I nodded towards him. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “Ah!” Harry yelled in pain as a bullet tore through his right shoulder and exited behind him. He held his shoulder but seemed determined to keep fighting to prove to me that he could do anything that anyone else could. I could hear a news chopper overhead and knew I had to get him inside so his face wouldn’t be plastered all over the news later this evening.“Harry, get back!” He looked back at me and nodded before retreating to behind the hummer. We had been ambushed as soon as we had finished the last of the transports by the rival gang we had been suspecting. I stood up behind the hummer’s door and let off a few shots of my handgun catching two in the neck before ducking and running over to where Harry had went. I saw John pull up behind the gunfire and joined me at my side as I looked over the gunshot wound in Harry’s arm. Harry shooed me away signaling that he was fine and looked out to the rival gang where they were trying to regroup but Marty was pushing them back. I looked at John and handed him my gun before slipping under Harry’s arm to help him back inside the base.“I’m gonna get him back inside before that damned news crew sees his face, I want you to help Marty push them back then open fire on anything that moves, I don’t want to see a single one of these fuckers left alive. We gave them mercy last time but that won’t happen again.” John nodded as I retreated inside the base with Harry in my arms. I put pressure on the wound in his shoulder and looked down at him with a serious expression that he returned.“We are going to have to snipe from inside here. The last thing we both need is that news chopper catching the face of the new Harry Styles helping a criminal in a mass shootout.” I said with a firm tone in my voice. I had instructed Marty to leave a few snipers so should we need to retreat we could and snipe from the inside so all I had to do was find them.“Do you think anyone has made it inside this base while we were distracted?” Harry asked.“It’s a very real chance.” I answered while thinking. I stood up with Harry and stayed low as I walked around our base looking for the snipers. I found them and they hadn’t been touched by our rivals yet so I was thankful that Harry and I still stood a chance.“Leah, I have no idea how to use one of these.” I nodded as I walked over to him and placed the gun in his hand the way he needed to hold it.“This is how you hold it and as long as you hold it this way your aim should be good. Sniper’s aren’t hard to use but they take some getting used to so don’t fret if you miss because we only need to push them back away from the base so we have them upper hand again. After this Harry, you will be in the gang and should you ever want to you could return to One Direction with our protection.” Harry looked at me with a firm expression and shook his head.“No, that life isn’t me anymore Leah. I’ve been pulled into this life ever since I first laid my hands on you and I won’t be leaving until I die. I told you, anything it takes, and I meant it.” I smiled as I helped Harry up onto some empty shipping crates so he could perch up on our sniper windows and aim outwards easier. I took his handgun from him and climbed up on the perch next to him and aimed for the ones surrounding John and Marty. I took a deep breath and took my shot catching one right between his eyes with a successful smirk and reloaded quickly for another shot. I saw Harry take down a few with shots in the neck and watched as the love of killing took over his face. I watched in awe as he pushed away what was left of Harry Styles, pop star and idol for young kids everywhere, and became Harry Styles, boyfriend of a gang leader and assassin extraordinaire. I turned back to my snipe to take out a few more before they finally started retreating trying to get their leader’s body. I shot the ground in front of the leader’s body and watched as they ran off with their figurative tails between their legs.“We did it, Harry.” He turned to me and nodded with a smile on his face as he hopped down from the perch.John and Marty joined us inside with victorious smirks on their faces, “Fuck yeah! We tore their asses down!” Marty yelled with excitement.“I must admit that was the greatest fun I’ve experienced in a long time. Leah, your shooting was wonderful.” John said calmly.“Not me.” They looked at me bewildered as I pointed to Harry who still held his sniper in his hands.“Not bad, Harry. Your shooting was great for someone that hasn’t ever shot a sniper before.” John’s compliment had Harry smiling sheepishly.“He will be our newest sniper as soon as his induction ceremony is over.” I said calmly.Harry smiled weakly at me as the wound in his shoulder started finally getting to him. I caught him as he started to fall and looked down at him with a small smile and held him closely. John helped me lift him up and get him into the remaining hummer that was still inside the warehouse. John and Marty took the front while I hopped inside the back and laid my head against the headrest.“Leah, you’re bleeding!” Marty yelled at me surprised. I touched my stomach and pulled my hand up to my face to see the blood on my hand.“Oh, so I am…” I chuckled weakly and felt the effects of the blood loss. I closed my eyes and got my body comfortable enough to pass out from it. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- I watched Leah's chest rise and fall as she slept after her surgery. I held my head as I thought back to the firefight because I didn't remember Leah even being shot, but then again I had been shot and wasn't focusing on anything else. John placed his hand on my shoulder as I looked up at him. He nodded towards the hallway and i stood up to walk out with him.“Don't worry too much about Leah, it may be hard to believe but I've seen her take worse and still pull through. I promise that Leah will survive this.” John said softly.“I really hope you're right John. Losing her will probably make me go just a little crazier than I already am.” I replied.I looked back into the hospital room and figured it was probably about time I called the boys. They've probably been worried sick about us and while I don't feel guilty about leaving them, I don't feel good about it either. I walked into Leah's room and picked up the phone that was for family to use. It's been almost three weeks since I last spoke to them, god what would they think about me, assuming they didn't think I was dead. I took a deep breath and called Liam’s cell phone.“Hello?” Liam answered on the first ring. He sounded like he had been crying just before answering the phone.“Liam…” Harry paused, “I….I’m sorry…”“Harry?! Where are you Harry?!” Liam sounded worried.“I can't tell you that at the moment, Leah is in pretty bad shape and I just really need someone to talk to.” Harry said quietly.“That means that was you and Leah we saw on the news...Harry what have you gotten yourself into?” Liam asked.“Well, I joined Leah's gang, we kidnapped a gang leader Liam. Leah and I decided to run away so you didn't get involved but I ended up hurting Leah. She forgave me but I couldn't forgive myself...I had her do some bad things to me and I've killed people now...I won't be returning to One Direction as I like this feeling I have now, but please don't think any less of me. This will be the last time you're going to hear from me because I can't risk your lives for ours but I miss you guys…” Harry said with tears forming in his eyes.“We miss you Harry, I am glad you're alive but promise me you'll be careful. I don't want to hear that you've been killed or locked up, and tell Leah it's empty without her laugh here.” Liam said with a somber attitude as he hung up the phone. I dropped the phone and pulled at my hair until I felt two arms wrap around me. I looked towards the bed and when I didn't see Leah I turned around in her arms.“You can go back to them Harry.” She said softly as she ran her hand up my body.“No, I am happy here with you Leah. I just didn't think they'd miss me so bad and it hurts to know how much pain I've caused them.” I replied as I nuzzled my head against her hand. “It'll pass Harry, but never forget the fun times you've shared with them. I will never forget my sister so promise me you'll never forget them.” I nodded as she stood up on her tippy toes and kissed me softly. I returned her kiss and looked down into her eyes.“Our lives are about to become super complicated, aren't they?” I asked with a chuckle.“Yep, and you better be ready because life in a gang is never boring.” Leah said back with a chuckle.“No it is not.” I said as I kissed her again, “no it's not.” I repeated with a smile on my lips.
11304726	The Brown Coat	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs)", "Fandom": "文豪ストレイドッグス \| Bungou Stray Dogs", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by TheGreatCatsby", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-26T00:00:00", "words": "738", "Additional Tags": "Soukoku Week, skk week, day 1: sartorialism, oda isn't in this fic but he's still dead", "Relationship": "Dazai Osamu/Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs)", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": "Soukoku Week 2017", "Collections": "Soukoku Week 2017", "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Four years. Four since since Chuuya last saw Dazai. Four years since he heard Dazai’s voice. He couldn’t remember what they’d said to each other, whether it’d been an argument, a dismissal, something in a drunken stupor. Chuuya couldn’t remember the day. Sometimes it bothered him. Mostly it didn’t. Nothing bothered him as much as the fact that there had been a last time. Four years, and Dazai could pretend to change but had he really? Chuuya remembered what Dazai was wearing. Bandages covering one eye, protecting an injury Chuuya knew he didn’t have. Those same bandages wrapped around his throat the same way Chuuya wanted to strangle Dazai with his bare hands. The oversized dark coat that hung from Dazai’s shoulders. The suit, like a suit a body would be buried in at funerals, and Dazai probably wore it every day just in case it was his last. Dark on dark on dark, like the night sky, like a bruise that wouldn’t heal. Now he stood out against the darkness of the cell in his light brown trench coat. A blue stone winked at Chuuya from Dazai’s new tie. Dazai still looked formal, but he looked brighter. Both eyes were exposed. The bandages were still there, but they seemed more like an accessory than something he actually needed. Chuuya’s stomach turned. “You haven’t changed a bit,” he said, but the words sounded wrong. The person he shoved into the concrete felt like Dazai and acted like Dazai, even looked like Dazai, but something was off. He’d become a familiar stranger, and Chuuya didn’t know what to do with it other than push and shove and try to kill this imposter. They couldn’t change. Dazai had told him that time and again, when Chuuya railed at him for killing subordinates senselessly, for being too cruel, for shoving weapons into Chuuya’s hands and insisting he stop being so soft. Kouyou was right, he’d said. They were meant for the darkness. So what made Dazai the exception to that rule? He’d pushed Chuuya farther down, dragged him through the dirt just to keep his soul stained, and then he’d left. And now he was trying to be clean. To change. It was a joke. It had to be. An elaborate joke, an act, a lie because no matter what their lives looked like they couldn’t change. They were both drenched in blood and covered in dirt and there was no way Dazai had just left that all behind so easily after everything. He hadn’t changed. He couldn’t have. *Chuuya hadn’t changed. It should have been comforting. Chuuya was nothing if not consistent. His undying loyalty to the Mafia, his passion for his work, his temper in the face of Dazai’s presence, his strength. His loyalty to the Mafia. Dazai felt sick. He knew there were cracks, even if he couldn’t see them now. He’d kept track of Chuuya from afar, for the first few months. Watched as he drowned himself in mission work, going off alone, leaving his subordinates behind, crawling back injured and furious that things hadn’t gone better. Watched as he drank himself sick and shouted curses at the sky. Watched as he wandered the streets at night like a lost child without a parent. Watched as he pulled himself together. The drinking didn’t stop, but it became less destructive. He took others on missions with him. He helped train Akutagawa. He stopped taking late night walks. Dazai had hoped he’d moved on. He didn’t know what he wanted. A crueler Chuuya, perhaps? One who had traded his emotions for cold logic and a survivor’s instinct? A Chuuya more like the man Dazai had been? A Chuuya who wouldn’t--no, couldn’t be hurt? Chuuya looked the same in his tacky hat, his oversized coat and his polished shoes. That choker still wound its way around Chuuya’s neck like a collar one would give to a dog, and a good loyal dog Chuuya was. Dazai wanted to tear it off. It had been a naive purchase of Chuuya’s, back when they both were grateful for all the Mafia had done. Chuuya let him go. Dazai was grateful. It made his job easier. Kunikida would be pleased. But at the same time, he felt sick. He would make it look like he escaped, and no one else would know, but he knew, and he wished he didn’t. Chuuya hadn’t changed.
11317269	Half Light	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": "F/M", "Characters": "Bellamy Blake, Clarke Griffin, Raven Reyes, Monty Green, John Murphy (The 100), Emori (The 100), Harper McIntyre, Echo (The 100)", "Fandom": "The 100 (TV)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Not Rated", "author": "by fathomless", "chapters": "2/?", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-27T00:00:00", "words": "2,525", "Additional Tags": "Post-Season/Series 04, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Kind of AU, clarke makes it back in time, space bellarke", "Relationship": "Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	“Come on, Clarke.” He remains the only one outside of the ship, still grasping onto the small amount of hope that she’ll make it back in time. Huffing a breath, blinking back tears, he looks down at the timer on his wrist. 45 seconds. Though he knows she’d want him to go on without her, he can’t will himself to move from the spot he’s standing in. Just another minute. “Bellamy,” Raven calls out behind him, voice breaking as she speaks. She knows, too. Knows that they’re waiting for a lost cause, wasting what little time they have. He shakes his head.“I know, Raven.” He calls back, just as broken. And he does know. He knows she more than likely won’t make it back, but he doesn’t want to accept the fact. How can he just leave her behind to die like that? Alone, scared, consumed in the blaze overtaking the planet. How is he supposed to be okay, knowing he would be alive, escaping physically unscathed?But how can he wait any longer and risk the rest of them not making it to the ring in time? He knows what Clarke would want him to do, and though he loves her with an all consuming part of him, more than he ever thought his heart could handle, he can feel it break in two as he makes up his mind. The only way we can survive is if you use this, too. She had told him, placing her fingers on his temple, indicating his brain. He knows he needs to listen to her, follow his brain for once rather than his heart. It’s what she would want, because, quite frankly, if he were to follow his heart, he'd be marching back out there to find her.A few more seconds, and then he turns on his heel, a piece of his heart breaking away with each step he takes toward the ship. Tears gather, blurring his vision as he makes his way up the stairs, into the rocket. His hands grasp the door to close it, and he begins to pull it down, but pauses as the sound of footsteps reach him. The others eye him warily, looks of confusion upon their faces. He knows they need to hurry, but he needs a few more seconds. He needs to make sure.“Clarke.” Suddenly she is in his line of sight, and he lets out a breath of relief, heart racing. Seconds go by, feeling more like hours, and she’s there, in front of him. Alive. “You made it,” He breathes out, voice ragged, unbelieving. Before he knows it, she has her arms around him, and he, her.“I made it,” she assures him, pulling back much sooner than he would’ve liked in order to step into the rocket. A smile brightens her face, and the others simply stare in disbelief for a second. Laughter fills the small space, smiles stretching across all of their faces as if the world isn’t in the midst of ending. Bellamy shuts the door behind him, taking the vacant seat next to Clarke, heart beating rapidly in his chest.“Now, let’s get this show on the road.” Raven speaks, and then they’re off. Back to the stars they came from. Clarke grasps his hand in hers, and he looks over at her, relieved he didn’t have to leave her behind. For once, they’re both okay.“Hey,” she whispers. “You okay?”“Yeah, I’m good.” He nods, and for once, he actually means it.-They make it onto the ring minutes before their oxygen tanks run out, leaving them just enough time to get the air working. As it begins to do so, they all breathe sighs of relief. They begin ridding themselves of their helmets, piled together on the ground of the metal hall, artificial lights shining down on them, dimly so.“We did it.” Bellamy’s the first to break the silence, laughing slightly. “We managed to escape the goddamn apocalypse.” Clarke laughs as well, looking up at him from where her head rests on his chest. The others join in, and suddenly, they’re all a mess, genuinely happy at that moment in time.Eventually, the laughter comes to an end, as all good things do, and they decide to go their separate ways, whether it be to spend time together, sleep, or in Raven’s case, work. Clarke finds herself in one of the old offices located on the ring, examining Monty’s hands.“We didn’t think you'd make it on time,” he says, quiet, as she tries to put a salve on his hands.“I didn’t think I would, either. The storm kept getting closer, I could feel the heat. I almost gave up, thought it would be so much easier to just let it take me. Once I was down from the tower, though, I knew that if I could get my legs to move fast enough, I would be okay. I had a few stumbles, almost cracked my helmet, but,” she pauses, “I managed.” He nods.“I’m glad. I don’t know what we would have done without you, Clarke.” He says, and she can tell he means it. “I don’t know what Bellamy would’ve done. He would have been devastated. I mean, we all would have, but him especially. You know?” She finds herself unsure of what to say, and can only find it in herself to nod back as well.“Yeah, I suppose.” It’s quiet, awkwardly so, and then she finishes. “All done, you’re free to go. Just be careful. I’ll change the bandages in the morning.” She smiles, and then heads off to find Bellamy once Monty leaves.Of course, he’s in front of the bay window, overlooking the Earth, now engulfed in flames. She walks up behind him, and he shifts, sensing her presence.“He okay?” He turns his head to her as she comes to stand beside him."He will be. I can't tell exactly how much damage has been done, but considering his hands still have most of their functionality as of now, I'd say it could've been a lot worse." He gives a hum of acknowledgement."Good. You finished fast." He looks over at her, smiling slightly.“Yeah, guess you could say I’m pretty good at what I do.” She replies, jokingly.“Guess so,” He grabs her hand, and she intertwines her fingers with his, squeezing lightly. “How do you feel about being stuck with only seven people for the next five years, you ready to be driven crazy?” He asks.“I’m okay with it. You know, except for this one guy. He has curly hair, freckles. You might know him. He’s a little annoying, he's just so-”“Very funny,” He interrupts her, and she laughs. For once, a real laugh. Then he’s interrupting her again, albeit more serious this time. “Clarke, I thought- I thought I would have to leave you behind.” He pauses, blinking a few times. “I thought I would have to leave you to die, alone, without even getting the chance to say goodbye." Taking a breath to steady himself, he swallows. The thought of leaving her behind, what could have happened, still continues to plague his thoughts. "I was so scared, I don’t know what I would have-”This time, she interrupts him. His eyes are filled with tears, she can tell it’s taking all he has to hold them back. Her heart hurts for him, but at the same time, she’s happy. Happy he didn’t have to leave her behind with the notion that he had killed her, also happy she wasn’t left behind because, now, she gets to spend this time with him. She’s thankful.“Hey,” she wraps her hand around his arm, pulling him to face her. “It’s okay, Bellamy. I’m right here, not down there,” she points to the burning planet. “I’m with you.” He closes his eyes. The hand resting on his arm trails upward, moving to caress his cheek. Breathing out slowly, he opens his eyes to meet hers. “Always.” ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- “I’m with you.” Her hand trails up his arm, moving to caress his cheek. “Always.”He stands in silence, watching her, tears still slightly blurring his vision. “Clarke, I-,” love you, he wants to say but stops himself before the words can come. He sighs, instead settling for, “Thank you,” and watches as she smiles. “For everything.” For now, those three words he yearns to say stay buried within him, as they had previously, waiting for the day they can escape the depths of his heart.He realizes, then, that her hand is still on his face and in a moment of bravery, he leans down to press his forehead to hers. She sucks in a breath, eyes closed, leaning further into his touch. Their breaths mingle, the two of them breathing other in, reveling in the fact that they’re both okay. They revel in the fact that they actually survived, and as they sit in the corridor, bodies and souls intertwined, they each separately wonder if the other can hear the sound of their heart hammering in their chest, longing for more.It’s quiet, their breathing and the ongoing machine hum of the ring the only sound audible. After being used to the chaos that was Earth, it’s strange, but also kind of nice, Bellamy thinks. And though he’d like to stay there, forehead pressed against hers for the next five years, he knows it isn’t possible, and so he reluctantly separates from her.Clarke gives him a smile, and his heart swells with adoration. He returns it, and then wordlessly, they head off to find Raven and Monty. They find the two of them in what seems to be the control room, hunched over a computer monitor, talking about something Clarke and Bellamy don’t quite understand.“How are things coming along?” Clarke asks as they enter the doorway. Raven pulls her attention from the computer screen but has no time to answer before Bellamy interrupts.“Have you done calculations on the algae farm? Will we be able to get it up and running in time?”“And what about the communications system? We need to try to make contact with the bunker as soon as-”Raven rolls her eyes, giving Monty a look which he returns as he spins in his chair to face the others. “Do you guys ever take a break?” He starts, already knowing the answer. “We’ve been here for half an hour and you’re already trying to run everyone ragged, including yourselves. Go relax for once in your lives.” He finishes, Raven picking up where he leaves off.“Listen to what the man said.” She says, smirking. “Seriously, go find somewhere that looks comfy enough, cuddle up, and take a nap before you drive us crazy and we end up floating the both of you. Okay?” She knows they likely won’t listen, but figures it’s worth a shot. Shrugging, she swiftly returns to what she was previously viewing on the monitor, motioning for Monty to do the same.Bellamy begins to rebut, but before he can, Clarke places a hand on his shoulder, giving him a pointed look. “They’re right, Bellamy. Now come on, I think I know a place.” He looks down at her, but rather than fighting her on it, he simply nods. She grabs his hand and pulls him along, the two of them muttering half-hearted apologies to the others who wave them off, urging them to go.“ We never have been much for breaks, have we?” They make their way down one of the many empty corridors, boots echoing against the floor. Clarke looks over at him, smiling wryly.“There was never any time, what with the world ending and all.” She bumps her shoulder against his as they walk, the casualty of it slightly throwing him off guard. He clears his throat.“Yeah, well. Guess that’s not a problem now, considering we’re stuck up here for five years with nothing to do.”“I wouldn’t say we have nothing to do. I mean, I do plan on teaching you to play checkers and kicking your ass at it every time. And don’t think I’ve forgotten about us getting that drink.” He laughs at this, and her heart soars at the sound of it, the realization that she’s never heard it before.“Yeah, yeah. Knew you wouldn’t. And for the record, the ass kicking will definitely be the other way around.” He bumps her shoulder in retaliation for earlier, and it’s then that she realizes they’ve reached their destination.“Here we are,” she says, pushing the door open. He follows in behind her as she searches for the light, finding it shortly. It takes him a moment, but he quickly realizes they’re in what seems to be an overly large closet, that for some reason comes complete with a couch and who knows what else. “When we were younger, Wells and I would come in here to hang out sometimes. We found it by accident when were about ten, playing hide-and-seek. And before you ask, I’m not really sure why a closet is this big, or why it has a couch, either,” she explains, laughing slightly.He takes a seat on the couch, watching as she glances around the room that was once familiar to her. She leans down, opening a box and pulling out an old, gray blanket. It’s falling apart, coming unraveled in places, but he supposes it’s better than nothing.“Anything else you hiding in here, Clarke?” He jokes as she sits beside him, throwing the blanket over both of them. She shakes her head slightly, mind obviously elsewhere. “Hey,” he places a hand on her shoulder, “you okay?” Clarke glances up at him, voice quiet when she speaks.“I am. Or at least, I will be. Are you?”“Yeah, I am. Now come on, let’s get some sleep.”The couch is barely wide enough for the two of them, forcing them to lay with her back to his chest, legs tangled together. Unsure of where else to place it, he tentatively lays his arm across his middle, and is surprised when she pulls it tighter across her.“Wells really would have liked you, you know?” She turns over to face him, the look she gives him then making his heart stutter along with the close proximity. He finds himself speechless for a moment.“Maybe. Definitely didn’t back when we first landed, though.” She huffs a breath, similar to a laugh, shaking her head again.“Well, no. I didn’t even like you then, you jackass. If he had gotten the chance to know you, though, he would’ve liked you. Even if only because I liked you so much, though I know he would have regardless.” She leans her head against his shoulder, and he finds himself smiling for seemingly no reason.“I would’ve liked him, too, Clarke. Maybe we could have even bonded over constantly trying to keep you out of trouble.” He jokes, rubbing circles into her back with his hand. She hums in acknowledgment.“Goodnight, Bellamy.”“Goodnight.”
11317818	the stars are falling	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": null, "Characters": "Tsukumo Yuuma, Astral (Yu-Gi-Oh)", "Fandom": "Yu-Gi-Oh! Zexal", "Language": "English", "Rating": "General Audiences", "author": "by kibachiin", "chapters": "2/2", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-27T00:00:00", "words": "258", "Additional Tags": null, "Relationship": "Astral/Tsukumo Yuuma", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	"Everyone is made of stardust!" Yuma had heard that before, somewhere, and at the time he'd doubted the credibility of such a statement but now he's met a boy who really is made of stars and moonlight and a soft gentle glow. And like starshine and moonlight he can't touch him, per se, but there's feeling somewhere. Unfortunately Yuma is not smart enough to explain, or to parse what it might mean to love a ghost made from the edges of the universe, should that be what's causing the lightning storm in his chest, this feeling like seeing the moon in the daytime. "The stars are pretty," Yuma says instead. Astral agrees, but neither of them are looking at the sky. ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Yuma's smile could outshine the sun and his blood burns twice as hot, hot enough that Astral thinks this boy might burn him alive, that he'd let him, that he'd let Yuma lead him laughing into an inferno. Astral doesn't know what to make of the warmth in his chest, the one that sparks down to the tips of his fingers and catches in his throat. Astral thinks it should be fear, because he's let himself be caught in this gravitational pull and he knows that sooner or later he'll come crashing down through the atmosphere, but how can Astral be afraid when Yuma looks at him and suddenly they're a supernova melting down the stars and reworking them into armor made of light and radiant gold. Ah, Astral thinks, maybe this is what humans call "love".
11389590	Aprils Dream	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "Gen", "Characters": null, "Fandom": "The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (TV)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "General Audiences", "author": "by girlintheglen", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-07-03T00:00:00", "words": "1,340", "Additional Tags": null, "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": "Illya's Days of April", "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	April went to bed that night with two images competing for her dreams.In one scenario the auburn haired agent was engaged in a gun battle with a blond man who was surrounded with a blue haze. She wanted to reach inside of the blue but something always kept her out, unable to penetrate what appeared to be an illusion of some sort. When she got too close to him a chill overtook her, only to be replaced a warm breeze that made her want to... April woke up in a sweat. That dream... Was it? Wow....The dream was so real, and the emotion of it made April think about how Illya had pulled her aside to talk, only to say something about the report or ... What had he intended to say to her? She got out of bed and went into the kitchen for a glass of water. She didn’t feel very sleepy now so decided to curl up on the couch for a bit and read. A recent copy of Glamour magazine lay on the coffee table so she picked it up and thumbed through it. Before she knew it April was snoozing again. When the dream came she was on a different couch, lying back and gazing into the soulful eyes of Dr. Whitfield. “April, how are you feeling today?” April was feeling really good... really, really good.“Doctor, I’m feeling just super. Now, if you want to you can kiss me.”“April, that would be very unprofessional of me. You understand that, don’t you?”“Yes, I understand.”She didn’t, but that was the correct answer.“And how do you feel about that, Miss Dancer?”Why had he called her Miss Dancer? Weren’t they closer than that?”April shifted uneasily on the leather sofa, wondering why something so slippery would be considered a good place to unload all of your deepest thoughts. When she looked up again at Dr. Whitfield he had become an old man, and his soulful eyes were clouded with cataracts. It repelled the young woman so completely that she bolted upright. April woke up panting. Was she nuts? Up until this moment the handsome doctor had seemed very appealing, a paragon of stability and wisdom. The dream made her think otherwise; he really was too old for her. That brought her back to Illya, obviously the one in the blue haze. He might seem cold at times, but when she thought about him every part of her body tingled with the anticipation of what it might be like... “Oh no you don’t. Mr. Kuryakin has never shown any interest in you, April Dancer, and just because he wanted to speak privately this evening means nothing, it means...” She couldn’t finish that thought because she hoped it wasn’t true.Back in her bed again, April dozed and finally fell into a deep sleep. This time she was dreaming of her job, of the dangerous situations she had been in and how hard she worked. Somehow all of that was crowded into the few seconds it takes to dream. She wasn’t seeking out men or trying to win any hearts in these dream sequences; these were about her, and her alone. Before April was fully awake a phone’s incessant ringing alerted her to morning. Still groggy from interrupted sleep and some energy sapping dreams, she answered on the fourth ring. “Hullo...” There was something like fuzz in her throat. “Well good morning sleepy head. I bet you think it’s your day off, don’t you beautiful.” Oh crap, it was Napoleon. Was she late for work? “Oh, wow... sorry. Am I late? I could have sworn there was nothing on my schedule...” She heard him laugh, could see a smile on the face of her handsome boss. “No, you’re not late Miss Dancer. However, an assignment has come in that looks like a perfect fit for you. How soon can you be here?” That last was a little more serious sounding. April looked at the clock and estimated her chances of making it to Headquarters in less than an hour. “Umm... give me forty-five minutes?” It was a question, but really there was no way April could get herself together in less time than that and arrive at UNCLE Headquarters. Napoleon understood; unlike Mark and Illya, he and April did care what their hair looked like.“Sounds perfect. Just come to my office and be prepared to fly... and I mean that literally. You have plane tickets waiting for you.” “Will do, boss. See you in a bit.” They both hung up the phone and sighed, each for different reasons. True to her word, April arrived at the little tailor’s shop in forty-five minutes. The counter man nodded and said hello to the pretty agent, activated the press and nodded her through to the dressing room. Turning the hook gave April a sense of herself; this was a job she couldn’t have made up in any of her dreams. She loved the sense of being on the right side of things, of doing her part to rid the world of evils such as THRUSH. In the midst of these thoughtful meanderings came the unexpected voice of Illya Kuryakin. “Good morning Miss Dancer. May I escort you to your meeting with Napoleon?” April was transported back to her dream of the night before. Here was the man in the blue haze, and just like in her dreams was the conflict between his cool demeanor and the heated response she couldn’t deny. She still had a big crush on the Russian. “Good morning to you, Mr. Kuryakin. Um... why the escort? I mean, it’s nice, but... is there something wrong?” She hadn’t heard anything in Napoleon’s voice to indicate a problem, so why was Illya here waiting for her? “No problems, I just thought that, as we’re both going on this mission, it might be nice to start practicing our act.” Act? Why was he being so cryptic and what on earth was he talking about?“We’re going on a mission... together?” She had been partnered with Illya before, but boy had it gone wrong. He was nearly killed, and in fact it seemed whenever she had anything to do with the blond he ended up in some kind of ....hmmm, how to phrase it... unfortunate circumstance. Yeah, very unfortunate. Illya was aware of her hesitation and cold also recall the mishaps he had encountered when in her company. Neither of them had talked about it but then, neither of them wanted to go back and revisit those incidents. “Yes, it seems a situation has arisen that Mr. Waverly feels is a good fit for the two of us. But I shall let Mr. Solo do the briefing on it, and afterwards we are expected in Mr. Waverly’s office.’ He stopped talking and looked at April. The timing on this seemed as unfortunate as his previous encounters with her, only this time the discomfort might not be from anything physical. He really could not allow himself to think that they might have some kind of mutual attraction, especially not now that they were heading out on an assignment together. “Oh, I see. I wonder why Mark wasn’t considered suitable.” It did seem odd to do this change up of partners; April wondered if Mark was being assigned elsewhere. Illya had expected questions. April was a very good agent, but she was also a woman and not likely to accept changes without wanting to know why. “I think it best to let Napoleon and Mr. Waverly make the situation clear. Everything is fine, it’s just that this mission requires someone with very specific traits and abilities. It also requires a woman. It seems we are the perfect pair for what we shall be encountering. Ah, here is where we are expected; after you.” Illya stepped aside to allow April to enter first, and followed her into the office, fully aware that this would not be business as usual.
11328840	The Three of Us	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": null, "Characters": "Uzumaki Naruto, Inuzuka Kiba, Hyuuga Hinata", "Fandom": "Naruto", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Mature", "author": "by lagseeing1123", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-28T00:00:00", "words": "7,162", "Additional Tags": "Threesome, Threesome - F/M/M, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, Train Sex, Yaoi", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "Hyuuga Hinata/Inuzuka Kiba/Uzumaki Naruto, Hyuuga Hinata/Uzumaki Naruto, Inuzuka Kiba/Uzumaki Naruto, Hyuuga Hinata/Inuzuka Kiba", "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": "F/M, M/M", "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	The Three of Us"Oh just you wait 'cause I'm gonna fuck you up so bad!" Kiba swore loudly after being killed by Naruto in the shooter game they were playing on XBox 5 times in a row. It was one-on-one and Kiba was already up 8-3 a while ago and now it was tied 8-8 after his best friend came bursting ｗith a 5-0 run. The first who reached 10 was the winner of the match."Oh come on Kiba. The last time you fucked me up was when we were still 17 year olds." Naruto said back, chuckling."Wait, what? You're bringing that up?" Kiba gave Naruto a confused looked. When he said 'fuck you up' he meant it as more of a 'kick your ass', 'beat you in this game' and not the 'fuck you up' Naruto was reminding him of."Well it's not everyday you say that to me Dogbreath so I kinda remembered when you used to say that to me. We're even in the same room, sitting on the same bed 4 years ago." Naruto said casually, not at all showing any embarassment of mentioning their well-kept secret moments with each other. "Got yah!"And then Kiba's character got shot in the head, making the score 9-8 in favor of Naruto."What the fuck!" Kiba stared at the screen aghast. "You distracted me. You told me that on purpose to get me off guard!"Naruto just snorted at Kiba's accusation and got ready for the next round. Kiba did as well but the heavens wasn't in favor of the dog lover as Naruto hit him again with a headshot from seemingly out of nowhere."Ah, shit! How'd you..." Kiba turned his head to Naruto who was smiling evilly next to him. Naruto just went on a 7 kill streak to win the game, making Kiba blow an 8-3 lead."You lost. And here I thought you said you were gonna fuck me up so bad." Naruto reminded. "You're all talk Kiba.""That was just a lucky kill streak. It's because you were distracting me from the game." Kiba reasoned out because there was just no way he'd lose to Naruto when he was just two kills away. At least that's what the Inuzuka believed."You want a rematch?""As much as I'd love to kick your ass, I'm tired." Kiba said, letting himself fall back on his bed and gave out a deep yawn. "Why do you keep mentioning about 4 years ago though? It just seems outta nowhere.""Yeah I know it seems outta nowhere, but to tell you the truth I do have a reason.""A reason? Wait, don't tell me you want us to have sex with each other again?" Kiba asked, staring closely at Naruto. The blond was silent and could only turn his head as he gave a light blush."WAIT do you really want to?" Kiba asked with great shock at what the implication Naruto's silence and not denying anything meant. He was so surprised he sat back up to be able to see Naruto's reaction."What if I told you yes, but it's not what you think." Naruto finally replied after a few seconds of silence."Naruto, you do remember you have a girlfriend. We can't just fool around for a quick fuck like old times. I mean, I'm not seeing anyone so I don't really have a problem having sex with you but you have Hinata.""Wait, so does that mean you're okay with it?" Naruto asked hopefully."With what?""Having sex with me again?""You have a girlfriend Naruto.""But if I didn't?""Well then... I guess so. We've done it before and if you ask me, I haven't had sex in like two months." Kiba admitted."Seriously? Not even a casual fuck?" Naruto asked in utter disbelief."No. I've been pretty busy with my job at the pet store that I haven't had much time to you know, fool around or date someone.""That's good then.""What do you mean that's good?" Kiba narrowed his eyes at Naruto. "You really can't be serious about this? What would Hinata think?""Oh I think Hinata will be totally okay with it. In fact, she's the one who actually wants this to happen.""What to happen?""Hinata wants us to have a threesome." Naruto finally said."A threesome? With me? And wait, wait, wait. Hinata wants this?""Yeah, she's the one who suggested it. You know how she's a fan fiction author of Rated MA yaoi stories. You even read some of her work before. She told me she was curious of how it really happens in real life. Hinata knows I'm bisexual, knows that you're bisexual and honestly... I kinda let it slip to her about our friends with benefits agreement back in highshool." Naruto confessed, glancing sideways with a sort of guilty look on his face."YOU WHAT?!""I told her, you know, about us, having sex back in high school?" Naruto repeated."Naruto what were you thinking? Who else have you told about this?" Kiba demanded with great worry."Only Hinata." the blond replied. Kiba gave somewhat of a sigh of relief hearing that. Hinata's not only Naruto's girlfriend. She's also one of Kiba's closest friend who is a girl. Even so, he had to know what in the world made Naruto think it was okay to tell her about this secret that was supposed to be kept solely between them."But why?""Kiba she's our friend and she's my girlfriend. I wanted to be honest ｗith her. She asked me how I realized that I like guys too and I don't remember how but I ended up telling her about us. But trust me, she's totally okay with it and it's not like you being bisexual too is a secret. We just never told our friends about what we used to do back then.""Okay. It's not like I can do anything about it.""Great. So, are you game for the threesome?" Naruto asked excitedly."You guys really want to have a threesome with me?""Yeah, we do. Hinata's the first one to suggest it and I can't deny that it does sound exciting. I kinda wanna see how she looks when getting fucked and I don't want just any other guy to do that with her. I want someone I can trust and it's only you Kiba.""Did you just tell me you ｗant me to fuck your girlfriend while you watch?""Yeah, I kinda just did.""You're crazy Naruto.""Anything for my Hinata. And besides, didn't you just tell me you haven't had sex in two months. That's too long. You must be dying for release.""Don't remind me." Kiba groaned."But come on Kiba. You can get laid and Hinata and I can satisfy our curiosity. So what do you say?"Kiba sighed and thought hard for a few minutes. Eventually he caved in."Okay, let's do this"...."Hinata, are you really serious about this?" Kiba asked. There he was sitting on the bed of Naruto's room as he was face-to-face with the blond's girlfriend who was sitting cross-legged on the bed and wearing only an oversized t-shirt to cover herself. Naruto was there standing just beside him."Of course Kiba-kun." Hinata answered."Won't you feel awkward with me, you know we're friends right? I'm not just some other guy you're not gonna meet again.""I know Kiba-kun. I promise, there won't be awkwardness. I'm just really curious, Naruto must have told you already why.""Yeah, but of course I need to hear it from you too. So, how do we start?""Why don't you kiss me?" Hinata suggested. If there was any other thing that can break the shyness and uncentainty between them, that was it."You really want that?" Kiba asked, not much for the assurance but for the surprise that he was actually seeing and hearing Hinata this bold and confident. He gave a quick look at Naruto who was there beside him and with him not giving a disapproving look, Kiba leaned forward and kissed Hinata on the lips.Her lips were soft, warm and as smooth as velvet. There were no signs of any cracks from dryness that was the case for the other people he's kissed before. Kiba instinctly closed his eyes to immerse himself deeper into the feeling before he let his tongue slip out to swipe at Hinata's lips. Never had he imagined before that he would be doing this with Hinata and somehow it felt surreal.However this was real and he felt her part her lips and so in he slipped his tongue which was met with Hinata's own. In a few seconds Kiba's hands have subconsciously wrapped around Hinata's back, combing his fingers into her long dark-blue hair as he placed more pressure on the kiss and began to swirl his tongue around Hinata's mouth causing her to moan out and her arms to wrap around Kiba's back.Naruto watched as the two made out. If ever asked if he felt any jealousy on how Kiba was kissing his girlfriend, he could clearly say 'no'. What he actually felt was the feeling of being left out. He wanted nothing more than to join the two of them."Hey, don't forget about me." Naruto whispered from behind Kiba as he climbed on the bed. It made Kiba pull back from the kiss and turn his head towards the blond, as if just remembering he was there too."Want me to kiss you too?" Kiba teased with a wink of his right eye."That doesn't sound so bad." replied Naruto and he turned to look at Hinata. "What do you say my princess?""I'm sure that would be quite a view." Hinata giggled. It was really one of her fantasies to be able to see two guys kiss in real life, and 'do' more, hence this agreement between the three of them.Naruto looked at Kiba waiting for a signal of agreement and when he saw his best friend smirk, he moved closer to the brunet, walking tall on his knees before he pulled the slightly taller and larger guy closer before he went straight for his lips.Naruto's heart raced a bit at their kiss, memories of when they were teens flooding back into his mind. He might not have feelings for Kiba like those he hold for Hinata but still the kiss gave him a great sense of excitement. He felt Kiba grab on to his waist as he intensified the kiss by pushing harder, opening his lips to swipe his tongue at the other's lips, asking for permission to enter just as he did with Hinata. Naruto did as asked, feeling the warmth and wetness of Kiba's tongue as it danced against his own. His eyes were shut tight as they made out, all while Hinata was blushing under them as she watched fixated at the passionate display between her boyfriend and one of her closest friends.It took almost a minute before the two boys pulled back, Naruto gasping for air as he wasn't used to the intensity of the kiss Kiba gave."Enjoying the show, Hinata?" Kiba asked teasingly."Ve-very." she replied face flushed. Naruto chuckled at the sight. For a yaoi writer such as herself, he expected such a reaction. He was glad that this agreement between the three of them wasn't turning out to be bad at all. All Naruto wanted was for Hinata to be happy."Well we ain't in the good part yet. Later you can watch me as I fuck your boyfriend doggy style. Naruto had always enjoyed that position back then." Kiba said confidently. Naruto's face turned beet red upon hearing Kiba tell that to Hinata. "You up for that Naruto?""Uh... yeah, I guess so?" Naruto replied shyly. "It's been a long time since I bottomed though.""Oh come on Naruto. Just last week you let me fuck you with the strap-on you bought online." Hinata suddenly told Kiba."Hi-hinata..." And then Naruto's face flushed even brighter. It was one thing for him to tell Hinata about how he used to bottom for Kiba but it was totally different to tell Kiba about how he asked of Hinata to do that for him."Wait you let her do you with a strap-on?" Kiba asked with surprise."She was the one who was curious about it, okay. I only bought it because she wanted to try." Naruto defended."Really?" Kiba said with a tone that told Naruto he didn't believe him. "Well what a good boyfriend you are.""I'm not lying." Naruto insisted."Okay, okay. So, let's get to the good part shall we?" Kiba announced. He took his shirt off and Naruto soon followed. Their shorts and boxers were also gotten rid off and thrown who knows where in the room, revealing two beautifully sculpted bodies and proudly standing erections. Hinata was amazed at the sight. She thought Naruto already had a great body but she had to admit Kiba showed more dedication to the gym and diet than she thought of. And more than that, Kiba was noticeably 'larger' than Naruto in that one other department."Like what you see Hinata?" Kiba asked. Hinata sat there unable to speak. She could only nod in place in approval."You want this baby inside you huh?" Kiba again asked as he held his erection and waved it around."Kiba you're scaring her." Naruto joked as he looked at Hinata's mortified face."I'm just asking.""Well, is it just me or have you gotten bigger since we last..." Naruto asked curiously."Yeah, maybe an inch." Kiba replied. "Want this inside you? Maybe you can give me a blowjob. You were such a great cocksucker back then.""I uh... maybe later. Anyway, let's get Hinata ready." Naruto suggested to change the subject. He really preferred if Kiba just stayed quiet about what he used to like doing 4 years ago with him. Kiba wasn't lying though. Naruto did love sucking his dick and getting his ass pounded all before he met Hinata. And speaking of Hinata, Naruto tried to stop himself from thinking back of the memories he shared with Kiba. They still needed to get her ready, all aroused and lubricated. And so he crawled in front of Hinata beforeｇently kissing her."Just enjoy the show babe and let us make you feel good." he assured her. He then took off the large t-shirt she was wearing, revealing her voluptous figure for both him and Kiba to see. As it turned out, Hinata wasn't wearing any underwear and so her large breasts and cleanly shaven womanhood were exposed for both Naruto and Kiba to appreciate."Damn, you have such a sexy body Hinata. Who knew you had such large breasts underneath those baggy clothes you always wear?" Kiba commented as he stared in surprise. "And you weren't wearing any bra or panties underneath that shirt?""Well, it's faster to strip if they're already gone, isn't it?" Hinata replied."Good point. You know Hinata, I may be bisexual but unlike Naruto I've always leaned more towards guys but damn, you're fucking sexy Hinata." Kiba said again. It made his earlier forned erection even harder and the desire and need to put it inside somewhere was increasing. It's been two months since he last got laid."Of course she is." Naruto said in agreement. Then he continued kissing Hinata, from her lips down to her chin and her neck, almost not leaving any piece of skin untouched with his lips. His left hand snaked around Hinata's belly and felt her up, the touch so light as it glided over her midsection. Hinata moaned at her boyfriend's ministrations, closing her eyes to submerge herself in the pleasure she was being given. She had been so immersed in what Naruto was doing that she almost forgot Kiba was also there, watching the two of them.The Inuzuka went still for a few seconds, mesmerized by the sight in front of him. He's never shared a bed with two people at the same time before and neither have Naruto and Hinata. This was all a new experience for the three of them. His curiosity was filling up and in his mind sprung out images of the things they could do, all those thing he's only ever watched or read about before. And now he had the chance to experience it, to live out his fantasies.Deciding that he shouldn't waste more time, Kiba grabbed Hinata by both her legs, feeling the softness and smoothness of her skin. He was looking at her face and he saw her eyes open. When he saw her smile, he took that as permission and he let the palm of his hands glide up to her thighs, just as what Naruto was doing on her upper body. He could hear her moans more often with his added touch and he continued doing so as he spread her thighs to give him a good view of her pussy lips that he noticed was beginning to drip with her fluids.His hand continued to travel upward until it reached her core, his palm cupping her outer lips making Hinata squirm a bit under him. Naruto was glancing his way as he sucked on Hinata's left breast, eager to watch what Kiba was about to do. And so Kiba spread Hinata's outer lips with his left thumb and index finger, giving him a view of her inner petals and her pleasure nub.As if trusting Kiba to do it by himself, Naruto focused on pleasuring Hinata's upper body and shifted his gaze towards her face. He went for her right breast and mouthed it, swirling his tongue around her sensitive nipple and letting his right hand play with her other breast. Kiba who was down a bit south stuck his tongue out licked Hinata's slit from bottom to top, taking in all the juices dripping out of her core and enjoying its uniquely tantalizing taste.Hinata's moans became louder and her legs wriggled with less self control as the two boys made it harder for her with the sensations they were giving her. She's never felt being pleasured like this from both her breasts and pussy with this much intensity. It really was different when you have two guys working on you than just one trying to do everything. And if she thought that was all it could reach up to, she was strongly mistaken.Kiba now more confident after his experimental licks here and there put it up a notch as he captured Hinata's clit in his mouth and circled his eager tongue on the very sensitive nub."Oh Kiba-kun!" Hinata moaned his name at last. It was music to Kiba's ear that he actually made Hinata sound his name. He thought she would be more reserved about that especially since her boyfriend was just right there. Kiba looked at Naruto who was still busy running his hand ups and down Hinata hair and breasts. Well at least he didn't have to worry about Naruto getting jealous about his girl moaning out another man's name.He continued on the task at hand, even pushing in one finger inside her and began to rhythmically thrust it in and out her core, putting pressure on the warm ribbed walls as he relentlessly abused her clit with his skilled tongue. Hinata was grunting at almost every thrust of his finger and in a few seconds more, he felt her walls squeeze tightly on his finger as her body convulsed and she screamed loudly when she reached her climax. Her legs squirmed under him as she was hit by wave after wave of pleasure, making her pussy squirt out more of her juices which Kiba eagerly lapped up.When her orgasm has finally come down, she lay still and breathing heavily, eyes half-lidded from the overwhelming pleasure she had just experienced courtesy of the two boys with her."That was... amazing." she breathed out."Hinata that was just Kiba fingering you." Naruto pointed out. He found it hard to believe Hinata was already looking like that after just one orgasm. They've not even gotten to the good part yet."That just shows how awesome I am." Kiba said."You wish." the blond countered."Hehe. Come on, now that's Hinata's already had one, it's our turn to have some fun.""Yeah.""Let's prep you up. Ever since that day you asked me for this threesome, I've been wanting so badly to stick my dick up your ass.""You fantasize about me, Kiba?""Just this time. But come on, let's turn this fantasy into reality. Hinata's probably excited too, aren't you?" Kiba asked as he turned to look at her. She nodded and gave Naruto a pleading look, like someone who couldn't wait for their present."Okay." Naruto agreed and he grabbed the bottle of lubricant on top of the nightstand. He bought it a few months before when Hinata first topped him with the strap-on. "Here's the lube."Kiba took the bottle and smirked. He was gonna have so much fun."Naruto, lay on your side." Kiba instructed. Naruto gave a confused look but decided to just follow the brunet. Kiba soon followed and rotated his body so that he was facing Naruto's erection and the blond was facing his."69 while prepping me? That's so you Kiba." Naruto chuckled as he was reminded of his naughty nights with the brunet back in high school."Since I know how much you like it Naruto, you and Hinata can suck my dick while I prep you.""Okay. You up for it baby?" Naruto asked Hinata."I guess so. After all, I have to return the favor." she answered. She carefully positioned herself so that she too was facing Kiba's groin, inches away from Naruto's head."Ah Kiba that's so..." Naruto suddenly groaned. Kiba has taken his dick inside his mouth without warning and was already beginning to work on it. Naruto figured he should start too because after all, Kiba's never had someone to do that to him for two months. He looked closely at Kiba's length, the head of his dick dripping with precum. Slowly he took the length in his hand, the sensation bringing back a familiarity as he pulled back the foreskin to completely reveal the head, an angry red in color due to all the blood that pooled there.From his view he saw Hinata, who was also looking curious and unsure of what to do next. Naruto on the other hand felt a sudden pang in his stomach upon the realization that he was just about to suck another guy's dick right in front of his girlfriend. Sure he's told Hinata about being bi and having done this before but to be watched was an entirely different thing.But then again, what should he be embarrassed about? They've all agreed to this and Hinata was the one to suggest it. Surely she wouldn't laugh at Naruto for doing something like this. And that's what he believed so with a deep breath he took in the head of Kiba's erection and wrapped his lips tightly over it and gave a small suckNaruto definitely felt the effect it had on Kiba as it reflected back to him when Kiba moaned out, sending vibrations to Naruto's own length before Kiba withdrew to say something."Keep doing Naruto." Kiba gasped out, doing what he could to prevent his hips from bucking forward to slip his length deeper into Naruto's mouth. "I'm gonna start prepping you okay?"Naruto heard the cap of the bottle of lube pop open and he remembered what Kiba was also supposed to be doing."Sure. Just be gentle okay." Naruto requested."Gentle? But you always tell me to be rough before.""Kiba I haven't done this since..." Naruro grumbled while Hinata laughed softly. "Just don't... ohh Kiba at least warn me when you put a finger in."But Kiba already did. His lube covered index finger has easily slipped past Naruto's ring of anal muscles. It was always easier when Naruto wasn't tensed."Just go back to sucking my dick. After all we need it slick for later." Kiba instructed as he too took back in his mouth Naruto's length. Naruto just sighed and followed as Kiba said. He resumed at giving Kiba's erection the attention it needed. It was probably best to do so too since it would distract him from the prepping.Hinata also joined in and while Naruto focused on the head of Kiba's erection, Hinata used her mouth to take in Kiba's balls to play with them. She has always been fascinated with the two orbs and that was why teabagging was always a part of her and Naruto's foreplay especially when they were the ones doing the 69.After a few seconds of sucking on the head, Naruto's confidence boosted up a bit and he began to bob his head up and down Kiba's erection, his tongue swirling at everything it could swirl upon. He could feel the erection throbbing inside his mouth as more precum was released. He didn't even realize that Kiba has already placed three fingers inside him and that he had already stretched him ready for something bigger. He was only reminded of it when Kiba finally pushed hard against a special spot inside him that made him moan out loud and arch his back."Fuck Kiba, ah right there!" Naruto gasped out as he withdrew his mouth from Kiba's erection. Hinata took this opportunity to wrap her own mouth over Kiba's length and continue with the job of pleasuring him. Naruto was too overwhelmed with the pleasurable sensation Kiba was bombarding him with every prod of his fingers on his prostate that it was becoming difficult for him to resume his earlier task."Looks like it's still there." Kiba remarked as he played with Naruto's spot, not unfamiliar on the things it could do to the blond. Hinata watched Naruto's expressions with utter curiosity, happy to learn that the stories she's read about and been writing about was all true.In a few seconds though, Naruto's groans stopped and Kiba pulled out his fingers and released the blond's erection from his mouth."Okay, time for the real thing." Kiba announced. He shuffled around the bed, making Hinata withdraw her mouth too to let Kiba move. He grabbed a pack of condom, tore the cover with his teeth and unrolled the protective rubber over his length. He took the bottle of lube and poured a generous amount over the condom and spread it."So how do we do this?" Kiba asked both Naruto and Hinata. "Do I fuck Naruto alone or do you want Naruto to do you at the same time Hinata?""Well, I don't think I can fuck Hinata while you're doing me, at least not when I'm still not used to the feeling." Naruto answered."That's okay with me." Kiba agreed but looked at Hinata with concern. "Do you think you can wait a bit more Hinata?""I'm fine. Besides, I've already climaxed earlier courtesy of you so it's only fair for you guys to enjoy." Hinata replied."Good. Now that it's settled," Kiba turned to look at Naruto. "All fours for me Naruto.""Doggy style? I expected as much." Naruto chuckled. Ever since he could remember, Kiba's always been associated to dogs. It's even in his last name INUzuka and his Dogbreath nickname. Naruto did as told and took the center of the bed and balanced on his elbows and knees, sticking his ass out to give both Kiba and Hinata a good view of his puckered, yet undoubtedly prepped entrance."Come over Hinata, I wanna eat you up." Naruto motioned for his girlfriend to lay in front of him."Is it okay if I sit beside you guys first? I actually wanna see... you know..." Hinata asked shyly."Me getting fucked from behind. Well that's okay. You don't have to be shy saying it." Naruto reassured."Okay then, you ready Naruto?" Kiba asked. Naruto gave a nod and then Kiba placed his hands on Naruto's hips and aligned his erection on the blond's entrance. Slowly he pushed in, feeling resistance at first but then thanks to the sufficient lubrication and preparation he was able to slide all his length inside Naruto. The blond only gave a single grunt as he was midway. Hinata who was sitting on the right side of the bed watched with fascination, her right hand unconsciously making its way to her core."Fuck, Naruto you feel so tight around me." Kiba gasped out."And you feel huge. Ugh, just give me a few seconds to get used to it." Naruto said as he tried his best to relax. His walls were being stretched fully and he muttered under his breath about how Kiba was a lot larger than the strap-on Hinata used on him. He didn't even recall that Kiba was this huge. He didn't lie when he said he grew a bit more after the last time they've had sex."Okay, but I can't promise I'll be able to hold for long. I wanna move so badly." And of course he did because again, it's been quite a while since he had his dick inside a tight ass such as Naruto's."Alright, just be gentle at first.""Got you." Kiba smiled and slowly he started moving, pulling out with control until only the tip was in before sliding back in. He heard Naruto grunt but he couldn't tell if it was from pain or pleasure. Kiba disregarded that and he let a bit of his weight fall on Naruto's back and held him around the waist before attaching his lips on Naruto's back. He gave soft kisses to every piece of skin he could reach as he slowly picked up the pace of his thrust until he could feel lesser resistance from Naruto as the blond got used to him.Hinata was watching in awe as Kiba thrusted in and out of Naruto, her fingers busy rubbing on her clit and her left hand playing with her breasts. It was weirdly mesmerizing to watch, even though it was another man doing such an intimate act with her boyfriend. She didn't feel any jealousy but rather only felt aroused at the sight before her.As she continued pleasuring herself, Kiba finally reached a fast and steady pace and with a huge groan from Naruto, both Hinata and Kiba knew that Kiba's finally found Naruto's sweet spot and it was only supported by Naruto's following pleas."Oh fuck right there. Kiba fuck me right there." the blond begged. His back arched from the intensity of each bolt of pleasure delivered upon him by every thrust Kiba gave upon his prostate."Want me to go faster?" Kiba asked."Ah please. Go faster. Harder." cried out Naruto and Kiba complied. He rode Naruto as hard and fast as he could, never missing his spot and all the blond could do was grip tightly on the bedsheet as he kept on sounding out moans of ecstasy. And if that wasn't enough, he felt Kiba's hand wrap around his erection and pumped on it as he continued to pound on him.With that it didn't take long before Naruto reached his climax and shot his load into Kiba's hand. Hinata who was vigorously rubbing her nub also came and her core squirted out juices as her pelvic muscles spasmed. The same happened for Kiba because as Naruto climaxed, his anal walls also spasmed giving a tighter grip around Kiba's length and that was more than enough to send the brunet over the edge, shooting all his warm load into the condom while he was still inside Naruto. His hips slowly came to a halt as he rode out his orgasm, finally pulling out after the last wave."Damn that felt so good." Kiba exclaimed. He was breathing harder than normal but nonetheless didn't feel exhausted yet. After all it was just one round. He was sure there were more to come, literally. He laid down on his back beside Naruto who laid prone with a satisfied look on his face. He then noticed that his right hand was all sticky and remembered that Naruto shot his load on it."Look at the mess you made." Kiba told the blond, looking at the white substance splattered on his hand as it slowly dripped to his forearm. Naruto tilted his head slightly to look but he just laughed."Hehe, sorry.""Uhm, you can use this Kiba." Hinata then called out to him. The brunet turned to her to see her handing him a few pieces of tissue paper. He took it and thanked Hinata before wiping himself clean and also removing the soiled condom and throwing it along with the tissue in the trash bin near the bed."Did you enjoy the show princess?" Naruto asked."Very. You two looked so hot together." Hinata answered honestly."Really?" Kiba looked at her doubtingly but it was more of teasing. He never really did understood why some girls like watching or reading about the homosexual affairs between to men. "Well you did enjoy touching yourself while watching me screw your boyfriend's ass so I suppose you're not joking."Hinata blushed upon hearing Kiba's words. She didn't realize that Kiba saw her as she did that. She seldom did it as Naruto was almost always there when she needed him. A rare occassion where she would rub herself was when Naruto asked her to give him a show and even if it was a bit embarassing, she would do it for the blond.Naruto saw her reaction and smiled. He sat up and crawled towards Hinata, pulling her into an embrace and gave her a soft kiss."I saw you too and I totally think you looked hot." he whispered just right next to Hinata's ear which made her face flush even redder. "This time though, I want to be the one pleasing you. Are you game for that?""Of course."Naruto smiled and brought his hands over her breasts while he swooped down to kiss the left side of her neck, making Hinata lean her head to the right to give more access for Naruto. There he gave a light suck and gently went down to her collar bone while his right hand travelled further down into her core where he slipped inside two fingers."My, my. You're so fucking wet Hinata. I can't wait to be inside you.""Then go for it." Hinata told him. Naruto looked up and gave a smirk to her."All fours for me baby." he instructed and soon he withdrew his fingers from her. He couldn't help but bring his juice coated fingers in his mouth to get a taste of her and it didn't disappoint. Hinata was already sticking her ass out when he glanced upon her again."So ready for round two?" Kiba asked. He was still laying there on the other side of the bed next to Hinata, stroking his cock to bring it back to its erected state."You bet. So better get a new condom over that dick so you can take me while I take Hinata.""Sounds fun." And Kiba did so, getting another one from the nightstand and also threw a package at Naruto. He was surprised when Naruto threw it back at him."I won't be needing that. Hinata's taking pills.""Oh. Well don't blame me if you knock her up." Kiba said as a warning. At least he tried. They can't blame him if anything unexpected happens. He ｐut the package back on the nightstand and once again lubed up his condom covered erection. In a few seconds he was ready to go.When Naruto saw that Kiba was all prepared, he walked on his knees to Hinata and helped her position herself for the most comfort. He aligned his dick on her entrance, gave it a few rub to let Hinata know he was going in and then let his naked erection slide all the way inside her core."Oh fuck!" Naruto groaned out. It was already hard to believe he was able to wait that long before letting himself inside Hinata. Then again the long wait almost doubled the pleasure he was being given and he wasn't even moving yet. She was so wet amd he could feel her juices dripping on his cock. She hugged him tight and even a small rub against her walls felt so good. "You feel so good around me babe.""Now that you two are all set up, time for me to join."Kiba didn't waste time positioning himself behind Naruto and sliiding in his length back again into Naruto's much ready ass. There was no trouble sheathing himself in and also no trouble into easily hitting Naruto's sweet spot again, evidence by Naruto's grunt."Naruto, you move first. I'll find a way to go with your rhythm." Kiba instructed. Afterall, this was the first time anyone of them has ever been in a 'train' and they didn't expect it would be an easy thing to do."Okay." Naruto replied and thanked Kiba that he was allowed to move already. Kiba pulled out halfway to give Naruto some room to work with and soon enough Nsruto was building up a good pace as he thrusted his hips back and forth against Hinata, letting himself enjoy the pleasure of his length rubbing against her warm, wet and enveloping walls. Hinata felt the same as she finally had someone filling her up and it was none other than the love her life, Naruto.As Naruto bucked his hips back and forth, his ass also slid around Kiba's length and once the brunet had a good idea of how to join the two of them in their rhythm, he lightly grabbed Naruto around his torso for support as he too began thrusting in and out of the blond. Naruto groaned out as he felt Kiba stretching his walls once again and pressing on the spot inside him. It made it harder for him to concentrate on his own rhythm as he wanted to push back against Kiba harder but looking under him reminded him that Hinata was still there for him to please. It was just that experiencing pleasure from two different ends was something he's never experienced before and it was the best thing he's ever had."Ohh god you two feel so fucking good." Naruto cried out. His orgasm was building up fast and it was only expected being stimulated at both ends. Never in his life had he wanted to cum so badly. His thrusting became more erratic and fast, his hands gripping harder on Hinata's sides as he pounded fervently on her. In turn it did the same effect to Hinata who was also approaching her climax. Her hand has already found her clit and was rubbing furiously against it, struggling to balance her weight on her other hand.In the end it was Naruto who climaxed first, moaning out Hinata's name as his pelvic muscles convulsed in pleasure making him shoot deep inside Hinata waves of his warm cum. Hinata felt the large pulses of Naruto's length inside her and she also came just a few seconds after her lover, also screaming out Naruto's name as her walls spasmed tightly around the blond's length, completely milking him of all he had to offer.The chain of events didn't stop there however because as Naruto came, his ass also provided a tighter grip to Kiba's sliding dick which was also enough to make Kiba reach his orgasm, making him moan out loud as he relished the waves of pleasure that shook him to the core.When his orgasm finally died down, he pulled out of Naruto with his remaining strength and laid on the right side of the bed. Once free, Naruto pulled out of Hinata, his length coated with his cum and he let himself fall down on the other side of the bed. Hinata finally let herself fall down on the bed, cum dripping out of her pussy and slowly down her thighs.The three of them were breathing hard but with satisfied smiles. They've just experienced one of the best orgasm of their lives and they let themselves bask under its after effects."That felt so... hahh... fucking amazing." Naruto gasped out."I second that." Kiba agreed on the other side."Yeah. This was amazing." Hinata said, repeating the same words of Naruto as she was unable to find a word more suited to describe what she just experienced with the two boys laying beside her. "Thank you Kiba, for joining us.""Yeah... thanks a lot dogbreath. I definitely... enjoyed it.""I should be the one... thanking you two." Kiba said as he turned around on his side to face the two of them. "Finally gotten laid after two months and with none other than my two best friends. What do you know?""Yeah, whattadaya know?" Naruto repeated."The night is young. There's still a lot more we could try. I haven't fucked your sexy girlfriend yet which is kinda unfair, don't you think Hinata?" Kiba asked."Well, if Naruto's okay with it." Hinata replied."Of course I'm okay with it. Kiba could ride you on one end while I get to fuck you in your cute little mouth." Naruto suggested."You are such are dirty talker." Hinata said, pushing her boyfriend lightly."You know you like it." the blond chuckled.The night went on and the three of them did try all the positions they could think of. The first was Naruto's suggestions where they fucked Hinata on both ends. After that, Naruto convinced Hinata to have anal where Kiba fucked her on her pussy while Naruto fucked her on her ass. It was one of the best sexual experience she has ever had, on par with Naruto being in between her and Kiba moments earlier.They enjoyed the night until they were all spent with Kiba deciding to stay the night and sleep with them with Hinata in between. He chuckled softly, being hit with the reality that yes, he indeed just had sex with two of his friends who are dating each other and that he loved every second of it. It sounds crazy but damn, there was no way he would ever regret sharing this night with the two of them. And he had a great feeling Naruto and Hinata felt the same way.END.
11315058	Beach Day	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": "F/F", "Characters": "Kimberly Hart, Trini, Jason Lee Scott, Billy Cranston, Zack Taylor", "Fandom": "Power Rangers (2017)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by agntsanvers", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-27T00:00:00", "words": "1,943", "Additional Tags": "i just want my kids to be happy, Fluff, They're all dorks", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "Kimberly Hart/Trini Kwan, Kimberly Hart/Trini", "Series": "These Kids Aren't Alright", "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	The week before, during one of their five-hour Saturday training sessions, Jason announced that the next Saturday they wouldn’t be having practice. While the rest of the Rangers were happy, they were also confused. Jason was usually strict about their weekend practices, stating that they were good for morale, as though the rest of their training only served to depress them. Even so, they were not in the habit of turning down a break, and when Zack yelled, ‘beach day,” the teenagers were quick to agree. Kimberly relaxes onto her towel, pulling her sunglasses down over her closed eyes. She listens as Zack and Billy race into the water. Their screams of horror at the cold water make her laugh. Jason is standing next to her, slathering his upper body with sunscreen. She cracks open an eye to glance at him. “I think you’ve got enough sunscreen on, Casper,” she teases. Jason makes an insulted noise. “Hey, I burn like a damn tomato, Kim. Unless you want your leader -” he trails off at the sight of Kim’s smirk. “Kim, no. ” “Holy shit, if you don’t wear sunscreen, the red ranger is really gonna be the red ranger,” she cackles as Jason pouts. “You’re so mean to me,” he says, kicking a bit of sand onto her leg. “Hey!” Footsteps approach. “Are you bullying my girlfriend, Scott?” “Babe, he’s being so mean to me.” Jason gapes at Kim and Trini. “No. No, no, no. Trini, it was Kim. She was teasing me about my sunscreen.” Kim watches Trini’s eyes flick over Jason. “I gotta admit, dude, it looks like you’ve got half a bottle of sunscreen on. You kinda look like, um, Kim, what’s his name, the little ghost dude.” “Ha! Told you you look like Casper,” Kim crows. Jason throws down the tube of sunscreen and stomps away as Trini and Kim laugh. “There’s nothing funny about skin care!” he calls back at them. They just laugh louder. “Why aren’t you in the water?” Trini asks. “I want to tan for a while before I get in. Plus, I want thing one and two to get a bit tuckered out before I join them.” Trini looks out at the water where Billy’s just tossed Zack into the air. His scream of delight is abruptly cut off as he lands with a huge splash. “You might have a point. It’s hot as balls out here though, so while you tan, I’m gonna go cool off.” Kim pushes herself up onto her forearms and puckers her lips. Trini leans down and kisses her. “Have fun, babe,” Kim whispers against her lips. Trini presses another kiss to her lips before standing back up. She peels off her tank top and shorts. Kim drools. She really should be used to seeing Trini half-dressed between training and...girlfriend things, but Trini’s toned stomach and legs still make her weak. Trini winks at her over her shoulder and takes off down the beach. Kim is warm for reasons entirely unrelated to the bright sun, and she’s seriously considering joining everyone in the water. She settles back onto her towel instead, content to relax with the sounds of her friends laughing in the distance. She doesn’t know how long she slept, the sun’s still high so it couldn’t have been very long, but she’s startled awake by something cold and wet landing on her. She jumps up with a shriek, dislodging whatever had been on her. The boys stand around her, trying with varying degrees of success to not laugh. At her feet sits Trini, a stunned look on her face and her right side coated in sand. The noise in the back of her head is rolling with amusement, Zack’s strongest of all. There’s a sharp feeling of shock coming from Trini, but it’s tinged with the same amusement that comes from the other Rangers. “Guys, what the hell!” Kim says. “What were you doing?” “Trini wanted to scare you,” the boys say in unison. “Traitors,” Trini mutters. Kim smirks and looks down at her girlfriend. “You’re going to pay for that.” Trini scrambles to her feet and shoots away. She sends up sprays of sand in her wake, and Kim has to spit out a few grains before she gives chase. Trini’s head start helps her evade Kim for a few minutes, but it isn’t long before Kim catches her. She tackles the girl to the ground carelessly, knowing Trini’s Ranger strength will keep her from being hurt. She digs her fingers into Trini’s side. Trini squeals and squirms against her. Kim presses down with more of her weight. “You deserve this, you little monster,” Kim says. “Kim, Kim, baby, please stop,” Trini gasps, laughter making her voice breathy. Kim pretends to think about it. “Mm, no.” She tickles Trini in earnest. When Trini’s gone limp beneath her, her harsh pants filling Kim’s ears, Kim stops. She stands and hefts Trini over her shoulder in a fireman’s carry. Trini stays limp at first, but when Kim starts heading towards the ocean, she tries to escape. “Kim, don’t you dare!” she yells. Kim only runs faster. She runs into the ocean up to her knees before bringing Trini back around to her front. “You only brought this upon yourself, babe,” she says, tossing Trini. Trini soars out of her arms, flying past the waves and into deeper water. Kim may have underestimated the strength of her throw. Trini surfaces, spitting out water and looking at Kim incredulously. The look makes Kim laugh. She’s so distracted by the warmth coming from Trini in her mind, even as she curses Kim out, that she fails to recognize the change in Jason and Zack’s emotions. One moment she’s standing on shore laughing at Trini. The next, she’s in the air, sailing past Trini and crashing into the water. She surfaces with a splutter. Zack and Jason stand on shore, high fiving while Trini smiles at her from the water. Billy stands on shore smiling as he calls, “I tried to tell them not to do it, Kim.” “Thank you, Billy.” Kim watches her friends, her family , and the wide smiles that stretch across each of their faces. Her heart kicks up. She’s happy. A warm feeling spreads through her chest. She just really - “Aww, Kim, we love you too!” Zack calls. For once, her mind free of anxiety or traces of stress - even from her fellow Rangers, Kim doesn’t have a response to Zack’s cheesy smile. She floats on her back for a while before heading back to shore. The sun’s started to set and Trini and Jason are tossing a football back and forth while Billy and Zack have what looks to be a sand castle building contest. Zack has a small hill of sand with a leaf tucked into the top. Billy’s castle is three feet tall. As she heads to her towel, Kim thinks she can see actual hallways inside it. “Zack what kind of sad ass castle is that?” “Hey! Ohana means family, and family means you don’t get to make fun of my sand castle!” Zack yells. “Whatever you say, Pleakley,” Kim responds. Zack gasps like she’s shot him. “ Excuse you, I am obviously Stitch.” “Nah man,” Trini chimes in. “You’re Pleakley. Billy’s Stitch.” “I am your best friend, man. You’re supposed to defend my honor.” “Bro, girlfriend versus you? Girlfriend wins every time.” “Harsh, Crazy Girl. Harsh.” Trini tosses the football once more to Jason before jogging to catch up with Kim. Kim definitely doesn’t stare at Trini’s muscles as she moves. She doesn’t. The fact that she trips in a small dent in the sand and almost falls doesn’t mean anything. Trini catches up to her and wraps an arm around her waist, her head landing on Kim’s shoulder. “You have to admit,” she whispers. “Zack does fit Stitch’s personality the best.” Kim lays a quick kiss on Trini’s forehead. “It does, but are we really going to tell him that? It’d go straight to his head.” “No it wouldn’t.” Zack’s voice comes from right behind them. Trini and Kim scream and spring apart, whirling around to face him. They hadn’t even heard him coming. “Fuck, dude. Don’t sneak up on us like that,” Trini says. “But it’s so much fun,” Zack says, fluttering his eyelashes. Trini shoves him lightly. “Whatever, doofus.” Zack stumbles back, clutching his chest. “Jason! Billy! Help! The small one,” he throws a hand to his forehead. “She has vanquished me,” he collapses. Kim’s cackling, hands clutched around her waist. Billy and Jason chuckle as they walk over. “You’ve slain the dragon?” Jason asks as he reaches the others. “What dragon?” asks Billy. “You guys are so mean to me,” Zack complains. He stares up at everyone, squinting in particular at Trini. “Hey, Jace,” he starts, still staring at Trini. “Do you think with our Ranger strength we’d be able to toss Trini like a football?” Trini doesn’t respond, her mouth gaping open in surprise. “You are not tossing my girlfriend around!” Kim protests. “On that note,” Jason says. “Why don’t we pack up and head home?” Everyone looks around at the fading light around them, agreeing with Jason easily. By the time they’re heading back to Angel Grove, it’s completely dark outside. Kim’s driving, which means Trini’s in the passenger seat, playing with Kim’s right hand as it rests on Trini’s thigh. Halfway through the ride, Trini glances into the backseat. She coos and Kim jumps, glancing over at her quickly to make sure Trini actually made that noise. Her girlfriend does no coo. Nevertheless, the soft look on Trini’s face shows that she definitely did just make that noise. “What is it, babe?” Kim asks. Trini shushes her and takes out her phone, twisting further in her seat. Kim hears the quiet click of Trini’s camera. “What are they doing?” “I’ll show you when we get home.” “ Babe, ” Kim whines. “Focus on driving, Kim.” Half an hour later, Kim’s pulling into her drive. Her parents know the Rangers are staying over, as they normally do Saturday nights. She parks and quickly looks into the backseat. No matter how many times she had asked, Trini was adamant that she wait til they get home for her to find out what the boys were up to. Honestly, it was worth the wait. The boys are piled on top of each other, holding each other close. They’re all passed out. She turns to Trini. “That is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.” “Right? How should we wake them up?” “I’m not s-” Apparently, the question was rhetorical. Trini leans over to press on the horn. The boys startle. Jason ends up on the floor of the car. Kim smacks Trini lightly on the arm, giving her a ‘really?’ look as she climbs out. The Rangers move into the house, going to the basement where they usually spend the night. They have a fort set up there, piles of blankets and pillows making it perfect for them to sleep on. Everyone is tired it seems, because they all change and collapse into the nest as quickly as possible. Kim’s head ends up on Zack’s chest. Trini and Jason are curled next to them with Billy lying slightly on the outskirts of the group. Kim glances up at Zack. “Today was a good day, wasn’t it?” she whispers. “Yeah, Pink, it was. We needed it.” Kim feels the rumble of Zack’s voice in his chest and snuggles deeper into him. “Night, Zack.” “Night, Kim.” None of the Rangers wake up with nightmares that night.
11333682	takes one to know one	{ "Archive Warning": "Underage Sex", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Otabek Altin, Jean-Jacques Leroy, Yuri Plisetsky, Otabek Altin's Mother", "Fandom": "Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Mature", "author": "by xenophyle", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-28T00:00:00", "words": "1,611", "Additional Tags": "otayuri - Freeform, past jjbek, ost, not so nice otabek, Angst, suggested mental illness, armchair shrink otabek", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "Otabek Altin/Yuri Plisetsky, Otabek Atlin/Jean-Jacques Leroy", "Series": "please please please let me get what I want this time", "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Two dirty seflies and a don't you wish you were here? are meant to make a guy want more. Otabek knows why he got jerkoff pics and he resents it. Jean Jacques is one manipulative cunt. He saw it when they were training together in Montreal. Oh, sure, he was all confidence - too much confidence - most of the time. And then he was a crying, needy mess for the rest of it. With JJ it was either, Yeah, that's right, worship the King, or I don’t deserve air. Pretty soon his messages are going to drop from that manic high to usual, predictable low, and Otabek is already over it. Let JJ’s fiancé take care of that; it's what Isabella signed up for. Besides, he's got other things at hand.“Why don't you just block him?”Otabek ought to know better than handing his phone over to Yuri. He's going to end up with leopard patterned wallpaper and another Instagram account he will never use. But Yuri likes looking at his pictures and it's easier than uploading them somewhere.Otabek stirs the saskatchewan sauce into the pan. He hopes the noodles aren't too soft. Yuri is pretty and smart and skilled as hell on the ice, but he's got the attention span of a gnat when it comes to mundane things, like housework and cooking. He would've let the water boil off completely if Otabek didn't nudge his ass aside and take over. Apparently the cellphone was the epicenter of everything and dinner was a peripheral afterthought. “No, I think it would be a bad idea. Sometimes he sends me video.”“Video?” Yuri’s eyebrow goes up. Ever since he invited himself to Almaty for the summer, Otabek has learned the language of Plisetsky, which is not simply verbal, but also a series of unconscious facial expressions and body language - most of which seem to involve irritation. At least he seems like an open book. If you open the angry cover you will find more and more of the same. No, it's not charming, but Otabek has seen charming before and it's not all that admirable once charming wears off. Still, he's sure Yuri is not consistent. No one is. There's always a contradiction, always a problem.Otabek nods. “Skate programs. Not porn. Porn’s for still shots, only. He can pose better for those.” Oh, good. The noodles aren't a lost cause. He tosses some chopped broccoli and mushrooms in the pan. Looks like take out is not on the agenda - finally.Yuri is going through the JJ shots. Otabek filed them in a specific category he regularly erases every few months after he gets tired of jerking off to them. JJ usually poses in a locker room, stroking his dick, but sometimes it's a restroom stall or his stark white bedroom, back in Montreal. Once it was a bathhouse in Moscow. The proximity to Yuri is probably too close for Plisetsky’s comfort and Otabek is glad it's long-gone from his phone. “So, you and him, back when you were training together?”“Nothing serious.” Well, a few years of perspective turned it into one of those things, but a much younger Otabek would've disagreed. Those late nights in Jean’s wood paneled room, surrounded by hockey posters and the scent of Axe Anarchy, meant lots of dry humping, clumsy kissing, and eventual hand jobs that left Otabek feeling more than a little hungry for more when JJ finished off and went right to sleep on his twin mattress. Otabek would slink off into the guest bedroom hoping Mr or Mrs LeRoy, or worse - JJ’s little brother or sister - didn't hear his footsteps creaking like death over the hardwood floor in the hallway. Those nights seemed like everything to Otabek back then; the hitch in JJ’s breath, the world in his eyes as he stared into Otabek’s, whispering keep going, and the tan, smooth wonderland that was JJ’s body shivering whenever Otabek touched him there. It seemed important, real, something he could pin his expectations on better than landing a triple or getting step sequences right. But he knows better, now. The triples and the steps will always come through with enough effort, but Jean Jacques will always be as distant as he was the whenever they were outside of his room. “Just adolescent hormones.”Otabek slid the noodles on two plates from the blue and white china set his mother bought as a housewarming for the apartment. She would be ‘dropping by,’ later, to ‘check up,’ on them. She isn't sure about the Russian boy who looks more like a girl, lounging around her baby boy half dressed in Chanel tshirts and CK boxer briefs. He doesn't blame her; she's suspected Otabek’s preference for years and has tried, very hard to ply him with nice, Kazakh girls, who invariably want to know more about his sponsorships and bank account than him.“I've got adolescent hormones.” Yuri makes slurping noodles look absolutely dirty and Otabek is pretty sure it's intentional. It didn't take a genius to figure out Yuri didn't pass over training Moscow’s world class rink for Almaty’s less than second tier equivalent. Otabek knows Plisetsky wants him, and he is more than willing - has been since he jumped on the chance to meet him in Barcelona - but he wants to wait in this limbo between friendship and something more. It's always better than the real thing and he wants to push back the moment when Yuri Plisetsky finally disappoints him.Otabek takes back his phone. He's going to use the last round of pictures, tonight, after Yuri dozes off on two beers. “I keep him on mute.”“Do you keep me on mute?”Otabek forks a large mouthful and chews slowly. They should be sitting at the table like civilized people, not eating while they stand on blistered feet in a hot kitchen. He as another, then another, instead of sitting, instead of explaining, instead of acknowledging.“I am, aren't I?”Otabek wipes away the sauce with the back of his hand, and keeps it there. His mouth is still full. “No,” not yet. “You're not.” He almost was, when he told Otabek he intended to come. And stay. If he was anyone else, he would have. Otabek must enjoy being disillusioned.“Does that mean I'm special?”He finishes the plate and begins washing up. First the pan, scrubbing down until he cuts the grease with his sponge. Then his plate.Yuri’s is next, but he doesn't give it to him. “Scoot.” He holds his hand out for the sponge. “I'll do mine.”Otabek roots around in the refrigerator for some water. Neither drinks while they eat, Otabek isn't sure it's Yuri copying Otabek or coincidence. It's better afterward, Yuri told him in that little cafe in Spain. Actually, he's not sure whether he can believe half the things this kid tells him, he seems too good to be true, too compatible, too perfect.“I'm way better than he is.” Yuri is behind him, now. Close, now. Close enough for Otabek to be aware of the body heat radiating through those baby blue Calvins. Close enough to make him forget about water and make him want to turn around and taste the saskatchewan sauce on his lips. Otabek smiles. It feels good to let it linger, so he takes two bottles out and clears his throat so Yuri can step back and look flustered. Otabek rubs one against his neck, watching Yuri swallow as one drop of condensation drops down, under Otabek’s shirt and he knows Yuri wants to lick it off.“Here.” He hands it over. “Mother will be here soon.”He nods. God, Otabek wants the pout on Yuri’s lips to taste as good as it looks. And maybe they will taste good? Maybe he will be good, maybe even better than JJ. But he will never be as good as he promises to be. “Yeah,” Yuri sighs. “I figured.”Otabek watches him flop on the white leather sofa and huff that soft hair out of his eyes as he takes out his phone. It doesn't take a genius to figure out he's looking at JJ’s account, and Otabek isn't surprised when he happens to pass behind the sofa and confirm it as fact. And he's also not surprised to see the latest attention seeking post: JJ, head in hand in a hotel room, staring into the camera, with the whole world in his big blue eyes. Miss my best friend. Yeah, Otabek’s sure he does. And he’ll forget all about that feeling if Otabek actually responds. JJ likes playing on his see-saw, more.“Wow, what a pathetic douche. Is this about you?”Otabek snorts. “No.” It really isn't. It never was. “Doesn't matter.”Yuri looks up and his smile is a smirk that says, you're full of shit. Otabek’s seen it when he face times with Nikiforov, and now it's aimed at him. Yuri shakes his head and starts scrolling again. “Think that's deep or something?”“Just the truth.” He sits next to him, waiting for the moment his mother can break this conversation up with her sidelong glance and red nails tapping the polished concrete on his kitchen countertop.Yuri keeps scrolling. “You think I'm going to be like him, one day, posting this shit over you.” He's smiling, like it's a challenge. “Don't hold your breath, Altin.” Otabek feels goosebumps when he laughs. It’s so… unexpected, like sunshine during a storm. “You'll never let me go, once you get a taste.” Oh, god that scares him. Oh, god.The doorbell rings. Otabek can't get up fast enough.
11310363	Oh what a quiet night	{ "Archive Warning": null, "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin)", "Fandom": "Merlin (TV)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Explicit", "author": "by little_dhampir", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-26T00:00:00", "words": "3,164", "Additional Tags": "Canon Era, Smut, Anal Sex, Reconciliation Sex", "Relationship": "Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": "Merlin Reverse Bang Round 1", "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply", "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Arthur had messed up. He hated to admit it, even to himself, but after waiting for what felt like ages for Merlin to return to his chambers, he knew he had made a mistake and that Merlin wasn’t coming back to sleep in his arms tonight.Their changed relationship was still fairly new; some days, even Arthur couldn’t wrap his head around the idea that he had finally what he wanted: Merlin, not only as his manservant but as his lover.These last weeks Merlin had spent every night in Arthur’s bed, the two of them wrapped around each other, happily passed out after hours of pleasure; but tonight Arthur was on his own, desperately waiting for Merlin to return and knowing in his heart that he wouldn’t.Camelot had had another one of its famous feasts earlier that evening, one that had included wine and meat and Arthur treating Merlin like he always did. But something had been wrong with Merlin tonight, Arthur could feel it, and all of his jokes, all of his typical teasing had only hurt Merlin more.Arthur still hadn’t figured out what had been bothering Merlin as he was sitting on his bed alone, but he was sure he was at fault.Lying down and closing his eyes, he realized how empty his bed felt without Merlin to share it with. Despite never having felt so vast before Merlin had started to sleep there as well, it felt too huge now to fit a single person.“He’ll get over it,” he muttered to himself and turned onto his other side, but still sleep eluded him. After a few more minutes of tossing and turning, no closer to the land of dreams than an hour before, he got up and moved over to the window, hoping some fresh air might help him clear his head.The courtyard was deserted except for a few guards patrolling; he could make them out even in the dark thanks to the full moon and the stars illuminating the castle from the outside. There were no lights to be seen in any of the windows, either, and the same was true for Gaius’s chambers. Merlin must have retired in his own bed for once.Damn it. Not even the slight chill of the night could drive him back to his bed; there was only one thing that would make him fall asleep tonight and that thing - or rather, that person - was on the other side of the castle right now.Without thinking, Arthur turned from the window and wandered over to his screen where his tunic still hung; Merlin, the lazy idiot, must have forgotten to put it away. Shrugging into the white fabric, he opened the door and murmured some excuse to the guards standing in front of it.Before long he was on his way to the infirmary. * It felt weird, sneaking into Gaius’s chambers in the middle of the night while the old man was loudly snoring, but Arthur had to do it. He had to find Merlin and he had to talk to him, to apologize for whatever he did wrong so that he could finally sleep. Preferably with Merlin cuddled against his body.He opened the squeaking door, holding his breath as he heard Gaius move in his sleep, and silently entered Merlin’s room, having assured himself that Gaius was still snoring.It was dark. Only a single candle illuminated the room, but he realized the second he had entered that he was alone. Merlin’s bed was empty; the moonlight shining through the window illuminated the unmade bed sheets. There were clothes all over the floor and Arthur nearly tripped over something bright red.It was Merlin’s neckerchief, hastily thrown next to his day clothing. Arthur picked it up, unsure why he did it, and made his way over to the bed. There was a big book next to it; even in the dark Arthur could read the word Poetry written on the front. He chuckled as he remembered that one time Leon had caught them wandering the castle in the middle of the night and Merlin had used poetry lessons as an excuse.Arthur sat down on the bed, registering how uncomfortable it was in comparison to his own bigger and softer one. He still had Merlin’s neckerchief in his hands, and, unsure what to do with it, brought it to his nose before he had even fully decided to do so.It smelled like Merlin and for one single moment Arthur was jealous of that crappy piece of fabric, for being so close to Merlin all day long. He took another deep breath, Merlin’s scent ghosting through his nostrils. He had missed that smell all evening long. Just that scent was enough to shoot sparks through Arthur’s body. By now it was used to having Merlin under him or atop him each night and clearly missed his closeness as much as Arthur’s conscious mind.Another sniff and he could feel his trousers tighten, his erection steadily growing as he gave in to the smell. Arthur dropped a hand to his crotch to rearrange himself, but even that small touch of his own hand made his blood boil.He moaned, without realizing it and started rubbing himself through his clothing. The fabric felt rough against his sensitive skin, but he didn’t care as a fantasy that he’d often had in the past and never had a chance to act out replaced all his thoughts.He imagined Merlin wearing nothing but that damned neckerchief; hard and willing, waiting for Arthur in his bed chambers; telling him that he loved him, that he forgave him for whatever stupid thing they had been fighting about.Or in his own chambers, alone at night; touching himself; breaching himself; burying his face in the damp material of Merlin’s neckerchief as to not make too much noise.Within minutes Arthur was painfully hard and it was equally as hard to ignore it; the light rubbing above his clothing only turning him on more instead of giving him any relief. Still pressing his face to the fabric, he tried to open his trousers with his other hand so he could get some real friction.“Arthur?”His head whipped up, surprised and dumbfounded.“You’re back,” was all he could say, unsure how to dismiss the situation. His hand in his own breeches was something he could hardly explain innocently. * Merlin didn’t know what he expected to find upon returning to his room but it was definitely not the sight currently in front of him. After successfully sneaking past a heavily snoring Gaius, not only once but twice, he entered his bedroom only to find Arthur there, one hand down his trousers and his face pressed into some fabric. It took Merlin a moment to recognize the fabric as the neckerchief he had worn that day.For a second he thought he was dreaming - maybe he had fallen asleep under a tree during his midnight walk - but no, there was no way this was a dream. His dream Arthur was usually doing a lot of things but rubbing his face on Merlin’s neckerchief while clearly touching himself was not usually one of those things. And neither was the look on Arthur’s face; a mixture of guilt and surprise."You’re back,” Arthur said and dropped the neckerchief as if it had burnt him.“You are here,” Merlin replied, still not sure what was going on. His eyes landed on Arthur’s hand again, still stuck in his trousers but not moving.“I couldn’t sleep; I came to ap-” Merlin didn’t let him finish. After spending the last few hours missing Arthur, he’d realized how stupid their fight had been. Arthur had always been a bit rough around the edges, and as much as Merlin often complained about it, it was also part of Arthur’s charm; part of who he was. And Merlin wouldn’t change that for anything.With two long strides, he was in Arthur’s space, pressing his lips desperately against the blond’s. Arthur made a surprised umpf sound that he would probably later deny, but soon he was reciprocating the kiss, his tongue dancing along Merlin’s plush bottom lip, asking for entrance. Merlin granted it willingly, pushing his hands against Arthur’s strong chest as he lost himself in the pleasure rushing through his body. He could feel Arthur’s hard dick pressing against his own breeches; could feel them tighten as his own cock started to fill.A moan escaped his lips as soon as they came up for air. Breathing heavily, he pressed his forehead against Arthur’s. Their noses touching, he could see the relief on Arthur’s face.“I couldn’t sleep either. That’s why I took a midnight walk to clear my head. I was planning on sneaking out again to get back to you.”Arthur chuckled, a sound Merlin didn’t get to hear all that often.“Looks like I found you first.”“That you did.”Their lips crashed again, full of tenderness and love for one another. For a few moments they just enjoyed kissing each other, holding each other, before Arthur deepened the kiss again.Merlin could feel his brain shutting down, his whole body acting on instinct alone; an instinct that wanted to feel more of Arthur than just his hot mouth against his own.“Bed,” he murmured between kisses, his skin on fire. He couldn’t think of anything except Arthur’s body on top of his between his rumpled sheets. * Arthur couldn’t take it anymore; Merlin’s request to be taken to his bed was exactly the thing he needed to hear. Without breaking their kiss, he pushed against Merlin’s chest to make him move towards the bedding.Merlin made a surprised sound as the back of his knees hit his bed. Arthur pushed again and Merlin let himself fall onto rough cushions, missing Arthur’s softer ones but nevertheless enjoying having Arthur in his bed; he had way too many dreams about Arthur being there to deny it.Arthur followed him, covering Merlin’s body with his own again. The slide of their bodies was exhilarating, even with their clothing still on. His mouth found a spot behind Merlin’s ear and he started to kiss and lick the skin, making Merlin moan loudly. He could feel Arthur’s nose brush against his ear.“Are you sniffing me?” he suddenly asked, laughing lightly.“Shut up, Merlin,” was the only reply he got before he could feel Arthur’s teeth sink into his earlobe. He let out another loud moan.“Shush.” Arthur bit Merlin’s ear again. “We don’t want to wake up Gaius.”Merlin only nodded, biting his lip to suppress another moan as Arthur went back to caressing his neck with his lips. Gaius was the last person he wanted to see right now. Arthur dipped his tongue in the hollow of Merlin’s collarbone, which was as far as he could go with their shirts still on.“Off.” Arthur started pulling on the hem of Merlin’s shirt, and Merlin for once followed his order without any argument.“Yours too,” was all he said as he untangled himself from the clothing, shoving his trousers down as well before kicking them off.“Uff.” Arthur made some slightly pained sound as Merlin accidentally kicked him in the process.“Sorry,” he apologized, before using Arthur’s distraction to turn them over.Merlin’s lips connected with Arthur’s nipple, still hidden under his tunic. His spit dampened the material, making it stick to the nub he was currently caressing with his tongue and teeth. This time it was Arthur who moaned loudly.“What did you say about not waking Gaius?” Merlin chuckled against Arthur’s chest.“What did I say about you shutting up, Merlin?” was Arthur’s answer instead, before he pushed Merlin’s head far enough away for him to strip out of his tunic.Within seconds Merlin’s mouth was back on his body, his hands wandering down Arthur’s pecs towards his still open breeches. He could feel Arthur’s erection strain against his hands, a wet patch of fabric surrounding it. He slipped one hand inside and felt the heat of Arthur’s arousal against his fingertips. They both moaned at the contact.“More,” was all Arthur could say as Merlin tightened his hold on the hard cock. He could clearly feel the heaviness he was now so familiar with. His own neglected erection was pressed against the rough material of his sheets; he unconsciously started humping against them, searching for some friction, but it was not enough for either of them.Merlin withdrew his hand, despite the quiet whine leaving Arthur’s lips, to push down Arthur’s trousers for good. As soon as they were past his hips Arthur kicked them off, not caring where they landed.Finally they were skin to skin, nothing keeping them apart anymore. Arthur brought Merlin’s head back to his for another searing kiss, their bodies rubbing against each other, both men moaning into each other’s mouths.Arthur tried to create more friction, his hand sneaking between their bodies to where their erections were pressed against another. He grabbed them both, knowing how much Merlin loved it, and started stroking.“Oh god, Arthur.” Merlin closed his eyes in pleasure. The feeling of Arthur’s hot erection stroking against his was nearly enough for him to lose control. He pressed his forehead against Arthur’s cheek, panting heavily as each up and down motion of Arthur’s first brought him closer to his release.“Stop,” he suddenly nearly shouted.The other man stopped immediately, unsure of what was wrong. Merlin caught his confused gaze and smiled slowly.“I wanna come with you inside me.” After weeks of nights like this he finally could say those words without blushing like an untouched virgin. * Arthur swallowed at the implication of Merlin’s words and nearly came from just the thought of it. Without saying a word, he turned them over again, so he could lay on top of Merlin’s body. Their mouth’s went back to kissing as Arthur blindly fumbled towards the nightstand next to Merlin’s bed. He could hear a clash as his hand collided with something, which made both men turn their heads.“Are those berries?” he asked, confused, after realising his hand had collided with a bowl, spilling some of the tiny berries on the bed. They were lucky; that could have been the candle he kicked over.“Here, let me,” Merlin said and grabbed what Arthur had been looking for on the other side of the bed. He handed him a jar of oil.“So, should I?” Arthur asked.Merlin only nodded and spread his legs wider for him. Arthur swallowed and opened the jar. The oil was warm, comfortable to the touch. He tipped three fingers inside before closing it and handing it back to Merlin. Merlin took it and brought it back from where he took it.Arthur moved down the bed a bit, so he would be closer to Merlin’s privates. He breathed in the scent of Merlin’s arousal, his mouth watering, itching to take Merlin into his mouth. Slowly he moved his hand towards Merlin’s balls, touching them lightly.Merlin gasped. Tugging on them briefly, Arthur moved on, trailing his oiled fingers between Merlin’s cheeks and to the place he was really looking for. He could feel the folded entrance tremble as he finally gave into his desire and wrapped his lips around Merlin’s leaking dick.The taste was familiar, musky and salty and all Merlin. He knew how Merlin liked it best by now, and, listening to the arousing noises Merlin made, he finally breached his entrance with one finger.The oil helped him move smoothly inside, and it didn’t take long to add the other two fingers as he lazily suckled on Merlin’s engorged head. Merlin suddenly pushed his hips forward, nearly choking Arthur as he scissored his fingers and found Merlin’s special spot.Merlin kept moaning Arthur’s name, driving him insane. Seeing Merlin like this, feeling his pleasure, was nearly enough to bring Arthur over the edge.Merlin pushed Arthur’s head away, despite having a slight look of displeasure on his face at the loss of Arthur’s hot mouth.“I said I wanted you inside of me.”That sentence was enough to drive Arthur into motion. He slowly extracted his fingers, quickly bringing them to his own erection to rub some of the leftover oil on it. He spread Merlin’s legs a bit more and Merlin moved them so they could wrap around Arthur.Quickly he pressed the head of his cock against Merlin’s entrance. They both made needy noises as he pressed inside. A shudder went through his body as he felt Merlin’s flesh part for him, allowing him inside.“Merlin,” he moaned and kissed the other man as he finally pushed inside all the way. The hot tightness surrounding him was the most amazing pleasure in the world.Arthur started to move, to pull back and push back inside. After a few trusts he found Merlin’s spot again, making the other man cry out. Merlin’s hand was buried in Arthur’s golden curls and the other pressed against Arthur’s ass, urging him to move faster.He could feel Merlin’s legs wrap tighter around him. His arms were straining as he held himself up, which he didn’t even register. He was too lost in the feeling of Merlin’s body embracing him.Merlin kept shouting Arthur’s name, their moans getting louder as they stopped kissing, both breathing too heavy to do more than drag their lips lazily against each others. They stopped caring about the noises they made, too lost in pleasure.Arthur could feel himself getting close, his release approaching fast. He managed to hold himself with one arm and squeeze the other one between their bodies. A few pulls of his wrist enough to make Merlin lose control. With a loud shout he came, wetness spreading between their bellies.Arthur could feel Merlin’s orgasm rip through his body and it was finally too much. After two more thrusts he came as well, emptying himself in Merlin’s warm body. His whole body tingled, and he felt as if his release would never stop.When it did he could do nothing but collapse on Merlin, his whole energy drained after the wonderful orgasm he’d just had.“Umpf,” Merlin made an undignified noise as he nearly got buried under Arthur’s weight. Arthur quickly shifted, his now-soft dick slipping out. They both felt a strange loss at the sensation. Still tucked against one another, they waited for their heart beats to slow down and their breathing to go back to normal.Merlin pressed a soft kiss against Arthur’s lips.“That was ama-”The door burst open.“Merlin? Arthur?”Even in their surprised state they recognized the voice. Shooting up, they turned around only to find a sleepy and shocked-looking Gaius in the doorway. They had completely forgotten to be quite in the end.
11357358	The Alphabet Affair -	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": null, "Fandom": "The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (TV)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Mature", "author": "by spikesgirl58", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-30T00:00:00", "words": "1,050", "Additional Tags": null, "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": "The Alphabet Affair", "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Alexander Waverly was not a happy man. Napoleon could tell that the moment he walked into the San Francisco UNCLE office and was told his boss wanted to see him in Conference Room Two.“Sit down, Mr. Solo.” Napoleon hated it when Waverly started a conversation like that. It always foreshadowed the, I‘m deeply disappointed with you tone of the discussion to come. “Tell me how you came to be in Mr. Vickrey’s company and you again let him slip away.”He did as he was asked, not leaving out a single detail after they infiltrated the club. Waverly’s shaggy eyebrows did The Dance of a Thousand Veils when Napoleon explained about Illya’s dressed as a woman dressed as a man disguise. He wanted to laugh, but Napoleon knew better. Vickrey was a danger to society and this was strike two.“And this Grigory Novogrotsky is a turncoat? You are certain of it?” Waverly turned his attention to his pipe, seeming to focus upon the finer details of cleaning it and refilling the bowl. Napoleon knew better.“More of a plant. After the chief of police spoke with you, he mentioned that they had someone on the inside. We didn’t know who. I did some further investigation and he’s with the FBI and has Scotland Yard ties. We had no idea of knowing who it was inside or even if he or she was still alive.”“And still you went in, guns blazing, to rescue Mr. Kuryakin, who actually wasn’t even in there to being with.”“Yes, sir.” Napoleon shut his eyes against the throb in his head. “He was on his way to rescue us, thinking we had been taken.”“Do you young people not believe in communication any longer?”“I didn’t have my pen. I’d been detained by the cops and it wasn’t in my effects when I left. Time was a factor and I was focused upon that. I intended to go back for it afterwards.”“You have become uncharacteristically fixated upon Mr. Kuryakin as of late, Mr. Solo. Do I need to re-partner you both?”Napoleon’s head jerked up to stare at his boss. “I beg your pardon, sir?”Waverly looked up from his tobacco pouch. “I said, Mr. Solo, that a more prudent course of action would have been have attempted to contact Mr. Kuryakin. I can appreciate loyalty, but you do have a mission here and that’s to bring Vickrey to justice. Mr. Kuryakin cannot come before that. If THRUSH is unaware of their operative’s actions, it is even more imperative that he be stopped.” Waverly set it aside and lit his pipe.“Ah, I believe Vickrey’s doing that to himself. From the reports, he’s suffering from mercury poisoning.”“Mental instability is a THRUSH trait, Mr. Solo, not a curative method.” He took a deep draw on his pipe and closed his eyes. Napoleon didn’t make the mistake of thinking his boss had fallen asleep. After a long moment, Waverly added, “Find him and stop him, Mr. Solo. I don’t want any flummoxing this time. Vickrey thinks he’s untouchable by now. Correct his view.” ****Napoleon headed for his temporary office, his step heavy. The last thing he wanted was another confrontation with Vickrey. His luck seemed to fly the coop when the man was involved. He entered and sat down at his desk. Illya was behind a typewriter, his fingers working the keys even as his attention focused upon his partner.“Let me guess. Mr. Waverly was overwhelmed by our report.”“Not the word I’d choose.” Napoleon lifted his feet to his desk. “He wants this finished and don’t get me wrong, I have every intention of finishing it, but I don’t have a clue how. I’ve gone through all our actions, step by step, logically, and come up with a big goose egg. I don’t know how to take Vickrey down.”“Perhaps that’s the problem, Napoleon.” Illya took off his glasses and massaged the bridge of his nose, a sure sign that he was thinking.“What is?”Illya set the glasses aside. “Logic. The man is insane. Perhaps logic is the wrong path this time. Perhaps it’s time to abandon it for something else.”“What do you mean?”“Maybe it’s time to meet Vickrey on his own playing field. I say, break out the playing cards and off with his head.”Napoleon didn’t bother to hide his grin as he dropped his feet from the desk. The thought of Illya dressed as the Queen of Hearts was too good for words. “And would that make you the Red Queen?”“Smile when you say that, partner.”“Trust me. There is nothing more I want than to pick up with the ‘discussion’ we were having in our hotel room, but this needs to end first.” Napoleon’s expression grew distant as he remembered. “It seems like a hundred years ago.”Illya nodded and returned to his typing. “Speaking of such, I suppose we should send someone to pick up our things from the hotel. I could stand a change of clothes.”“Already done and they set up a room for us here.”“Work and home, all in one. None of the comforts and all of the stress.”“But the commute is short.” Napoleon chewed his bottom lip for a moment. “Illya, what you were saying about playing cards?”“I didn’t, of course, mean to actually dress people as such…”“But what if we did? What if we lured Vickrey into a trap and made him think it was real? The mercury has already made him unbalanced.”“How?”“We have something he wants… someone he wants.”Illya’s face paled slightly. “You? No, I refuse--”“I’m brave, but I’m not a fool. I meant Grigory. He betrayed Vickrey and that has to smart. You know how Vickrey feels about betrayal. We could go in and take over Down the Rabbit Hole, staff it with our own people, and see if Vickrey comes calling.”Illya smiled tightly. “I’m still not totally convinced Grigory is on our side. He might be a double agent. After, all, no one seems to know much about him. There’s still the potential that THRUSH will show up as well.”“Then two birds…”“One Cheshire cat.” Illya’s grin rivaled that of the feline’s. “Perfect.”“Bingo.”
11349576	Eats shites and leaves	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "F/M", "Characters": "Larissa \"Lardo\" Duan, Shitty Knight, Adam \"Holster\" Birkholtz, Justin \"Ransom\" Oluransi, John Johnson, Jack Zimmermann, oc smh members", "Fandom": "Check Please! (Webcomic)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by TrexReach100", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-29T00:00:00", "words": "1,164", "Additional Tags": "holsom antics, feat the lardo nicknaming bingo square", "Relationship": "Larissa \"Lardo\" Duan/Shitty Knight", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": "The Lardo & Shitty Chronicles", "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	“Dude just ask her out already!”Shitty smacks the puck into the bar of the goal and Johnson taunts him, “The puck represents your blocked thought process. This is gonna illustrate your frustration Shitty!”“Shut up Johnson!” Shitty takes another puck from the pile and shoots it into the pipe again. Goalies are weird.“Serious what’s stopping you?” Holster takes aim and shoots the puck, it goes wide and slides into the wall.“Can you see the crease or do I gotta come out of it?” Johnson taunts.“Shut up Johnson!” He hollers.Johnson laughs. “The guy after me is gonna be so much more involved.”Shitty and Holster share a look, take aim and shoot at the same time. Johnson blocks both.“Alright guys that’s it!” Coach yells across the ice, “Peewee game is on in thirty minutes clean up and get out!”Rans shouts for Holster. “Holtz!” He has two hockey sticks crossed over in his hands and he bends in half low to the ice, “Come push me!”Holster skates over and starts to push Ransom across the ice using the v of the sticks to collect the pucks. Ransom makes zooming noises as Holster pushes him around.“Jesus Christ! What are you two doing? Quit dicking around I’m not being chewed out by middle school mom’s again!”Holster straightens up without warning and Ransom falls flat on the ice.Shitty ‘shoots’ a puck at Ransom’s dick.“Fuck you nugget balls!” Ransom grouses and it’s hard to tell whether he’s insulting Holster or Shitty or both.“I’m serious what’s the worst that can happen? She says no?” Holster still won’t drop it. After helping Ransom clear up the pucks- ‘You drop a bro, you help a bro. Bro code!’ everyone files into the locker room to strip off, wave their dicks about, shower, rat tail one another then get dressed and go eat a mountain of food.As Shitty walks past he hears someone say to Jack, “Dude do you think they have chicken tenders in the dining hall?”Jack replies, “I dunno man.” But shitty knows he’s really saying, “I fucking hope so.”Jack Zimmermann chicken tender King.Shitty rips off his jersey and gets to work unstrapping and peeling down sweat sodden layers of foam and plastic. He doesn’t even want to think about what his lycra’s gonna smell like.“Jock!”A white jock comes flying over their heads and hits Mazzy in the face. “Bro that’s nasty!”Shitty wipes a hand through his hair, he’s working up more of a sweat trying to get his gear off than he did running suicides in it. “I dunno man.” He says when he finally gets down to his shorts.“Bro tell him to go for it with Larissa.” Holster doesn’t even have to turn to Ransom for Ransom to know he’s talking to him.“Nah man don’t shit where you eat.”Holster turns on him so fast Shitty hears the whip of wind past his face. “Are you fucking serious?”“He’s right.” Shitty sighs slumping down and peeling down his gross socks. They reek and being the ultra-tidy individual he is he shoves them in the bottom of his kit bag and tells himself not to forget to take them out and wash them.“You’ll regret it if you don’t. It could be the start of a beautiful relationship.”“Or the beginning of one with a terrible end which will result in super awkward meetings and one or both of them quitting.”“Shitty wouldn’t quit.”“Which,” Shitty points out, “Would assume that Larissa had to quit because the women always have to quit when it comes to work relationships gone sour because apparently men’s lives mean more and it would be much more disruptive for them to have to give up as a result of facing up to consequences of a choice they made.” He takes a breath, “It’d be punishing her for my mistake.”“Dude.”“Also she could say no and it could still be awkward.”“Bro you wouldn’t make it awkward you’d be super respectful of her decision.” Holster says.“Well of course I would but she doesn’t know that. We barely even know each other. I just know she’s hot!”“Uh guys?”All three boys look round to see said manager and hot girl standing in the doorway. Shitty hopes she hasn’t heard their conversation, there’s a lot of noise and even more now that some of the squeamish boys on their team have all run to the showers moaning about how their dicks were out when the lady swooped in. It takes the aversion of Larissa’s eyes from Shitty’s though to confirm his fear.She heard them.“Make sure to pick up all your jocks before you leave and replace all the cups. Mazzy was free balling and he just chewed me out for it.”Shitty throws a glare at Mazzy who is in turn glaring at Larissa. Shitty glares harder at him for it.“Sure thing Larissa.”“You can just call me Lars or something.”“You should probably get a nickname seeing as your technically part of the team.” Holster points out.“Dude she picks up our jocks and cups, that makes her part of the team officially. She needs a nickname.” Ransom declares.Larissa grins.“What’s the rule again?” Holster asks but it’s said in a way that shows it’s more for Larissa’s benefit than because he can’t remember. This is Hockey shit, Holster always remembers Hockey shit.“First syllable of the last name, or first, and anything s, er, or y.” Ransom tells him in a scholarly tone.“My last name is Duan.” She reminds them.Shitty watches their exchange not daring to speak in case she remembers what she heard and doesn’t get to experience this moment in favour of feeling like she has to duck out and avoid the awkward.“Duans? Du-er? Duy?” Holster screws up his mouth to make the sounds but none of them appeal.“Larsy? Lary? Lardy”“How about Lardo?” Shitty can’t help himself it just comes out.“Lardo!” Ransom and Holster say in unison and high five.“Lardo is good.”“Oh and it also sounds like lard ass which is extra hilarious because you’re like super tiny.”“I am not that tiny, you guys are just giants.”“Yeah but Shitty ain’t. He’s short.”“5”10 is a perfectly respectable height. I defy your masculine standards that dictate I must be six foot or else find myself relegated to the back of the line when it comes to mates, dates and hockey.”“5”10 is kind of short for a guy though.” Larissa – no- Lardo snickers.“Bro burn!”Shitty grins wryly at her and she winks at him before turning back out of the locker room.“Nah you’re right man.” Holster says when they finally get up to head to the showers, “You can’t ask her out now.”Shitty nods and mourns his loss underneath the hot spray.
11317080	Boobs	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Peter Parker, Wade Wilson", "Fandom": null, "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by LoveLaniLane", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-27T00:00:00", "words": "1,332", "Additional Tags": "Sleep talking, sleep talk, Deadpool being Deadpool, Deadpool Video Game, Inspiration by Deadpool Video Game, boobs, titties, Boobs and Titties hehe, Peter doesn't have titties, Angry Peter, Light-Hearted Ending, Peter couldn't sleep, Peter may have acted on his anger", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "Peter Parker/Wade Wilson, Spider-Man/Deadpool", "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": "Marvel, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Deadpool - All Media Types", "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	“Wow,” the breathless mercenary chuckled lightly. His mind was a jumbled mess at the moment. Peter plopped down hard next to his lover Wade on the bed. Both were trying to regain their breathing after passionately fucking each other, the first time as boyfriends. “We need to use your webs during sex more often.” Peter snorted as he turned to his side to face Wade and give him a seductive smirk. “Don’t get kinky over it, Wade. I basically did all the work. I’ll definitely be sore tomorrow morning.” “Kinky? Ha! Of course I’m making it a kink of mine. I didn’t think I’d ever have a web kink but I’m not surprised. Nuh-uh! Not soup-rised whatsoever. Actually I think we should explore more into my kink list now that we’ve opened the gates of hell.” Wade wiggled his scarred, nonexistent eyebrows at his lover. Peter shook his head but couldn’t stop the smile from spreading on his lips. “We can talk about it some other time. I’m too tired after all of what just happened. You…you won’t mind me staying the night, right?” Peter was asking with precaution. They had just made their relationship official just a few hours ago and they had never really slept over together before. Usually after sex, they either separate on different paths or if it was at one’s apartment, the other person would go back home. “I don’t mind at all, Petey-pie. We’re buffalos now!” Wade cheerfully stated, turning around so that Peter was spooning him. He liked being the little spoon. “You can stay over anytime for as long as you want.”“Boyfriends, Wade. We’re boyfriends.”“Baboons. Got it.”Peter smiled softly, wrapping his arms around the larger man and cuddling up close. He knew he was rekindling an old thing that Wade hadn’t had in a long time, and he wasn’t going to pressure him into anything too serious. Peter didn’t think Wade was really expecting him to say yes when asking him to be his Beanie Baby earlier that day, but Peter knew what Wade meant because he understood Wade. That’s all that mattered. “You know, one day we should explore my food kink. Usually people just do the whole dribble chocolate and squirt out that whole can of whipped cream, but I think we can go one step further. What do you say about shredded meat, lettuce, diced tomatoes, avocado, sliced jalapeños, a drip of sour cream and a top covering of shredded Mexican four-cheeses all over your sweet, delicious body?”“You’re not turning me into a taco, Wade. Now go to sleep.” Peter shut down the conversation quickly, closing his eyes with his statement.“Boo. You would make a tasty taco, Petey. Mmm… A Peter taco…” Wade hummed heavenly.“Wade…” Peter’s tone seemed to be giving him a light warning.“Sorry.”It was the final thing exchanged between the two men. Peter took a deep breath and he slowly drifted off into a land of Nod. Peter relaxed quickly and went under with his boyfriend in arms. Wade lay awake though. He was thinking way too much to sleep. The first and major thing in his mind was his baby boy who held him tightly, almost as if he was afraid to lose grip of him. Wade turned his head in an awkward position to try and get a good glimpse of his sleeping form. He slowly changed position so he was on his back and staring at the sleeping Peter.“He’s like an angel…” Wade whispered sweetly as Peter looked just as beautiful asleep and he looked awake. Wade moved his hand over to stroke Peter’s cheek.“Wade.”“Sorry!” Wade’s hand jerked back and he kept his hands to himself and he timidly closed his eyes, kind of like a child would do if caught awake when should be asleep.Peter silently shook his head before trying to fall back into the slumber he was in before. It was all good and quiet for a while; Wade closing his eyes caused him to fall asleep finally. The silence was only temporary before Peter was awoken by a word he wasn’t expecting to hear slip from the lips of the other. “Boobs.” Peter’s eyes flew open, pupils settled directly on Wade’s resting body beside him. Silence again. Peter shook off what he heard and closed his eyes again. “Boobs.” Peter sat up. He eyed Wade suspiciously, watching him intensely. He was almost testing him to say what he thought he heard again.Wade breathed in so harshly he snorted and snored out “boobs”, confirming Peter’s suspicions. Peter glared at the man as after a few minutes, the word released with every snore and breath let out by the older man.“Are you serious right now…?”Snore. “Ah! Titty, titty, titty, titty, titty… Ah! Titty, titty, titty, titty, titty.”“Oh, my God…” The younger man sat up. He didn’t know what to think. Was there a guideline or rulebook Peter could resort for when a new boyfriend fucks you good but dreams about boobs afterward? Or just a body part that you don’t have in general?“Wade. Shut up.” The words meant nothing as the other was as dead as a log, gone from the word, not to be awakened unless awoken by their own self. Peter slumped in defeat, his eyes staring at the nothingness above head on the ceiling. It didn’t stop… The chant of boobs and titties didn’t stop at all….Not for one second that night. Wade hummed gently with a wide smile on his face as he stirred awake from his restful slumber. “Hmm… That was the most wonderful and peaceful nighty night I’ve ever had in my life. These pillows are so comfy.” Wade hugged what his head was resting on, feeling a slight strain on them when he tried to hug tighter. He opened his eyes slowly to realize it were not his pillow but the thigh of his sweet beloved.“Mornin’ my beautiful buttermilk pancake!” Wade cheerfully stated with a sweetly sigh. When he didn’t hear a response back, he finally looked up to see the deadly intense stare of his beloved Peter. Wade looked alarmed at the anger written all over his lover’s face, the only question on his mind being “What did I do wrong this time?” “Petey… You have a little bit of frustration all over your face…” The look only seemed to have gotten more intense with the more words he spoke. Sadly, Wade didn’t know when to shut up, because talking was all he was good at. “How did you sleep last night? I thought last night was amazing!”Peter’s face dropped in disbelief before he slowly shook his head, looking just about ready to murder. Wade exclaimed sounds of hilariously painful pain as Peter carelessly pulled him up along the stairs up to the roof. Peter remained silent as his super strength allowed him to drag Wade so easily, feeling like he was simply carrying a shopping bag containing a packet of gum.“Peter! Petey-pie! Before you do anything, can I just say something?” Wade asked.Peter grunted but dropped Wade to his feet, staring at him as if trying to tell him to only say the right thing or he demonstrated the 5-Point Exploding Heart TechniqueTM on his ass. “I think your ass looks amazing in the light of the sunrise.”Peter chortled before picking Wade up and kicking him off of the rooftop of the apartment building. Just before Wade landed in the pile of dumpster mess below, he confessed, “I love dating Spider-Man!” If he was going to die, he wanted his last words to be just as meaningful as the words before it. The confession may have placed a loving smile on the younger boyfriend’s face while he dusted his hands off and returned back to Wade’s apartment, but he wasn’t about to admit that to the merc any time soon.
11318931	Nevers Every Flavour	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Sherlock Holmes, John Watson, Sebastian Moran, Jim Moriarty, Odo (Star Trek), Julian Bashir, Elim Garak, Edér Teylecg, Male Watcher", "Fandom": null, "Language": "English", "Rating": "Mature", "author": "by neverminetohold", "chapters": "3/?", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-27T00:00:00", "words": "1,082", "Additional Tags": "Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Friendship, Established Relationship, Slash, Romance, OT3, Fluff, Pining, Pre-Slash", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "Sebastian Moran/Jim Moriarty/John Watson, Julian Bashir/Elim Garak/Odo, Edér Teylecg & Male Watcher", "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": "Sherlock (TV), Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Pillars of Eternity", "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Sherlock clutched his arm, stemming the flow of blood with pale fingers that shook ever so slightly. His breath fogged in the cold air, while the melting snow saturated the fabric of his trousers and coat. John watched him indifferently, the gun a familiar weight in his hand. The echo of the shot faded between the graffiti-smeared walls, towards the starry night sky. Sherlock stared up at him, pupils blown so wide in disbelief that his eyes seemed dark and hollow. He chewed on the question, a single three-letter word, his genius brain brought up short by its vicious clash with reality. John waited, his aim never wavering. He knew Sherlock too well. Intimately, one might say. This wasn't injured pride, only genuine incomprehension and innocent, childlike loss. "Why?" John smiled down at Sherlock, feeling his shoulders relax as he heard footsteps approaching from behind: one with a measured military cadence, the other skipping and dancing. He shrugged. "I met them first." His finger squeezed the trigger. He had no time to watch the spectacle, the spray of blood, strands of hair, and white bone. Not with Jim and Sebastian greeting him with eager lips and hands, pulling him around to meet them as if they had been starving for his attention. And why shouldn't they have? John knew he had, after three years of gaining Sherlock's confidence, of worming underneath his skin and burrowing deep into the heart he pretended not to possess. They traded kisses, brutal and gentle in turn until they looked half-mad with glee, even though John and Sebastian both liked to lay claim to being the sane ones in this criminal enterprise of theirs. "I'm home," John managed, coming up for air in their tight embrace. Jim grinned, teeth red with their mingling blood. "Welcome back." ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- He shifted from an inert state of rest to one of keen awareness within the moment it took his cells to compress and rearrange themselves into the form he had come to appreciate beyond its practical application when interacting with solids.Odo stepped around various intricately shaped sculptures and blooming plants both Garak and Julian had acquired for him to help 'broaden his horizons' and picked up his combadge. Their quarters lay dark and silent as he moved towards the bedroom, except for the low hum of DS9's technology.Standing on the threshold, satisfying his need to make sure that those he cared for were safe, Odo noticed the minute twitch and change in breathing pattern and was thus prepared to intervene before Julian had a chance to instruct the computer to turn on the lights.Crouching down beside the bed, he whispered, "It's me.""Odo?" Julian peered at him, his hair in disarray where it had not been flattened by the pillow. "What time is it?"Garak chose that moment to turn onto his side, molding his frame to Julian's not unlike a leech in search of warmth, albeit one with ridges, scales, and far too many secrets for an ordinary tailor. Their good doctor, naturally, only smiled fondly as he was smothered. Perhaps he too was thinking about the implication of trust to be inferred from the simple fact that Garak had not woken."0400," Odo answered. "You have two more hours. I suggest you use them.""But..." Julian's frown faded. "Oh, right. That Lissepian freighter!"Odo inclined his head. "I told you about the transmission I managed to intercept.""Tell me, is Quark a prime suspect?" Julian asked with the delighted grin of a naughty child. "I mean, again?""Huh. Who else is there? Trust me, I'd be delighted to be proven wrong.""Well, be careful," Julian mumbled through a yawn, fighting to keep his eyes open. "Darts?""Ah, yes. The latest scheme you managed to rope Garak and me into," Odo said dryly and caught the hand that reached for him. He kissed it, allowing his own to encase solid flesh and skin in liquid warmth and gentle, tide-like pulses. "I'll be there." ----- CHAPTER BREAK ----- Edér found the Watcher not far from their camp site, sitting on a wind smoothed boulder that overlooked the river in the valley below. A full moon brightened the dark of night, the sky filled with a cascading pattern of stars. Hidden between the foliage of gnarled trees and undergrowth, Edér took his time to study the godlike, a man he had been quick to respect and follow, and now called friend with the ease of growing familiarity. And more, if he were honest, though that was a topic Edér would first need to prod and probe, perhaps with a witty remark - or the help of a lot of spiced ale. Been a long time, since the farm, he thought with a wry smile. And what I seek now could hardly be called a simple tryst in the hay. He didn't move just yet from his hiding spot, watched instead how the mild autumn breeze ruffled white, wisp-thin hair around the outgrowth on Alrik's brow, a crescent that looked less like flesh than a golden ornament. Edér knew many songs, for marching and prayer, for mourning and drinking, but he wasn't a man given to poetic ruminations. But what he saw, right now, was beautiful and deserving of a poem. He grinned to himself, at the outrageous turn his thoughts had taken. A besotted fool, am I? Might as well make my move, see what comes of it. Just... act natural. Twigs and dead leaves crunched under his heavy boots, a deliberate warning. Alrik turned, fixing him with bright eyes that streamed light. Edér raised his hand in greeting, opened his mouth, snapped it shut. Blurted, "Are you two competing?" Edér winced, even as Alrik laughed, a warm and low sound, meant not to disturb the others in their slumber. "Bet you never heard that one before." Alrik shrugged, fingers drawing patterns in the fabric of his cloak. "I had not." Ah, one of those nights, Edér thought, counting himself lucky that he was not Awakened, had only the memories, regrets, and nightmares of one lifetime to contend with. And I have my hands full with those. Isn't that right, Eothas? "May I sit with you?" Alrik hesitated, then shook his head. "Not tonight." "Very well." Edér swallowed his disappointment as he returned to their camp, to Durance's loud snoring and Aloth's mumblings that, as so often, sounded like an argument with what Edér liked to consider the elf's better half. Next time, then.
11386650	Time to pick his spot	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "F/M", "Characters": "Gabriel, mentioned reader, mentioned God, mentioned angels - Character", "Fandom": "Supernatural", "Language": "English", "Rating": "General Audiences", "author": "by AlAngel", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-07-03T00:00:00", "words": "1,704", "Additional Tags": "Sad-ish, Gabriel-Centric", "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "hinted at Gabriel x reader, implied Gabriel x reader", "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Title: [Time to] Pick his Spot Characters: Gabriel, mentions of the reader, hints at Gabriel x reader Word Count: ~1.3k Warnings: sad-ish, Gabriel-centric Challenge: @mrswhozeewhatsis #2017 Louden Swain SPN Mini Bang. My song was “Eskimo” as you can probably tell by the lyrics xD A/n: Also I got paired up with an amazing artist, @marunata! She loves Gabe as much as I do and I was so happy to get her opinion on my writing and generally working with her was amazing! I’ll link her art for the song and the fic as soon as I see it posted! You will all need to go and check it out <3 A/n2: This is very Gabe-centric. There is a reader but only as a supporting character really. Because we all have that one person in our life who changed us for the better <3 … I once spoke up to a meter maid She said she liked the work but not the pay Writing tickets while you run away, afraidBeing an angel sounded so easy. You were supposed to be close to God, the one who created everything. You could fly and reach for the highest heights. You were given power and strength to stand up for what was right. Nothing could stop you. You were supposed to be free. But like every job it sounded a lot greater in the description.I said hey to a polar bear He said he liked it here but not over there That's what its like inside a dragon's lair The ice is fading backBeing an angel of the Lord had never been easy. Actually it came with a lot of confusion, responsibilities and questions you were not supposed to ask. Maybe it simply wasn’t meant to be easy. Being an angel of the Lord was hard, but being an archangel was worse. That job came with additional responsibility, something especially the youngest of the four of them didn’t seem to like all that much. But at the end of the day it wasn’t even humanity that made the job so terrible, humans were noisy, selfish and plain weird little things but in their own way they were special and different from everything else God created. Most angels didn’t want to or simply couldn’t acknowledge the uniqueness of this creation. And here the fighting began, because in the early days when God was still there the job all of them had was still clear and straight forward. Angels were to protect humanity and maybe even learn to care for them. But a job simply wasn’t the same as understanding. It had taken Gabriel centuries, his own isolation from his family and finally meeting one very special human to actually learn that lesson. In the end he realized that there was no way to learn to care if you weren’t willing to lose your heart. It's like teaching architecture to an Eskimo You can show him everything you know He still gonna build it out of snow I'm gonna take my long division down to Mexico I can divide all nightIt all seemed terribly inevitable, because no matter what there was no changing deep down. Gabriel had tried so many times to be someone he wasn’t. First after leaving heaven he tried to be a god himself. Being Loki came with a lot of perks, he got the play pranks and enjoy himself with silly, very non-angelic things. Suddenly, with all the other gods, he could surround himself with beings that didn’t listen to orders, missions or sometimes even reason. He had the time of his life finally not cramped in with brothers and sisters who all had gigantic sticks up their asses. It felt like a taste of freedom. However after hundreds of years of playing the part things changed. The inevitability of his whole existence came down on Gabriel. He was playing god, yes, but was he really anything more than a petulant child aiming high only to find the stars out of reach? Deep down he was still the youngest archangel who was terribly scared of responsibility.I said hey to an astronaut He said he wishes he could pick his spot He said he likes to go out a lot and not quite make it backWhen Kali couldn’t bare his moodiness and brooding anymore and kicked him out of her life, Gabriel realised that after all his struggle to be more he was still an angel. He could do whatever pleased him with a snap of his fingers, his power almost unlimited, but somehow he felt caged nonetheless. He had been good at being a trickster god, but it wasn’t who he was. He was an archangel and with a snap of his fingers he could smite any of those gods, weakened and forgotten by time. All he wanted was to be like them, but he wasn’t. Never had been. Not quite.It's like teaching architecture to an Eskimo You can show him everything you know He still gonna build it out of snow I'm gonna take my ticket and kick it down in Mexico I'm gonna fly, all nightAfter failing at being a god Gabriel still wasn’t ready to find what he was really looking for. But he was getting closer. Instead of being all-powerful like a god he decided to try and be powerless for once. Like God’s favourite little creation he wanted to try and be simple. However with his luck that backfired too. After only a couple of short years Gabriel noticed how not simple and easy humanity was. There were so many things that occupied their minds, so many questions and wonders. Some were great and really changed the world, others were actually small but none were ever simple. Thinking seemed to work different for humans than for him. He considered and thought – sure - but he never contemplated, philosophized or plotted. Thinking wasn’t simply thinking for humans, their minds were fascinating. And again nothing like him.Been around the world, and I've seen Enough to know what I mean I got this ticking in my mind And its about timeGabriel had looked everywhere, but nowhere did he find more interesting thoughts and plans than with young people. They had their whole life ahead and were filled with dreams, expectations and goals. They had absolutely no idea of what would really happen in the future yet they were planning to shape it and change the world. In them he recognized a lot of traits he had seen in his angelic brothers and sisters as well. There was belief, strong will, a hint of ambition, the need for control over a situation. In all his time in isolation from heaven Gabriel would have never thought that young humans would be the ones to remind him of home the most. Though this felt closer to where he came from and what he ultimately was, there were things in humans he still didn’t understand. The most astonishing thing was their compassion. As the time came closer to the destined fate that had been following him all his life, Gabriel discovered the one thing that would change not only his but also the fate of the world.I set the record with Joan of Arc She knew her destiny before that spark She got the orders and she played her partHe had always known that in the end his brothers Michael and Lucifer would bang heads on a cosmic scale. No matter how much he loved both dickheads it wasn’t enough. The apocalypse was destined to happen and he could not be held responsible whatsoever for any of it. He was intend to play his part. Right until he wasn’t. No matter how much he had enjoyed the company of humans he hadn’t felt any deep need to sweep in and safe them. The apocalypse was a family thing and nothing but their own little drama mattered. Until he met you. You were so human, but in all the best ways. Funny without trying, laughing at his jokes no matter how terrible they were, compassionate and understanding. When the apocalypse had drawn closer and closer and even the Winchesters started to accept their parts in the grand plan he finally came clean to you. And all you did was hug him and tell him how sorry you were for his family being so stubborn. It was then, holding you in his arms and smelling your sweet shampoo, that he realised two things. He loved you more than anything and he would fight, take on responsibility to finally be the angel his father wanted him to be. Gabriel had finally learned how precious humanity really was.It's like teaching architecture to an Eskimo You can show him everything you know He still gonna build it out of snow I'm gonna stand with my feet deeply rooted to the ground below I can survive, all night...He didn’t regret choosing humanity over his family and their antics, because deep down he knew his dad would be proud of him. Gabriel finally understood not only his old man better, but who he himself was too. He was the angel who had learned compassion. He loved and really understood his brothers now. He felt Michael’s deep need to follow their fathers order and the predefined plan of the apocalypse, but he also knew what loving someone too much like Lucifer had felt like. Never again would he belittle humanity, because the ability to feel compassion hurt like a bitch. But he wouldn’t let himself regret it. Being an angel had never been easy, but so was being human or a god. It was all about trying to understand while you had to accept who you are. And Gabriel had accepted himself and his responsibility when he stood up against his brother in the “Elysian Fields” hotel.It's like teaching architecture to an Eskimo You can show him everything you know He still gonna build it out of snow I'm gonna take my long division down to Mexico I can divide, all night all night #2017 Louden Swain SPN Mini Bang
11374560	One-Thousand	{ "Archive Warning": "No Archive Warnings Apply", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Joseph Joestar, Caesar Anthonio Zeppeli", "Fandom": "ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 \| JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken \| JoJo's Bizarre Adventure", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by minibuu", "chapters": "1/1", "completed": "", "published": "2017-07-02T00:00:00", "words": "1,183", "Additional Tags": "Fluff, Drabble, tw: alcohol", "Relationship": "Joseph Joestar/Caesar Anthonio Zeppeli", "Character": null, "Relationships": null, "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	Joseph and Caesar were sitting, their feet dangling in the hot tub. The water smelled strongly of chlorine, but neither minded. They were happy enough just to be together in Joseph’s back yard, the sky purple and blue and dotted with white speckles of stars, the air warm with the scent of freshly-bloomed trees and flowers drifting around them. Everything was serene and beautiful. Caesar looked at Joseph as he tilted his glass of champagne to his lips, but his face heated and he turned his head away before he could watch for very long. Joseph had very nice, big soft lips, and if Caesar watched him any longer, he wasn't sure he would be able to resist throwing himself at Joseph and kissing him a thousand times right on the mouth. He was surprised that Joseph stayed silent for a while longer. Instead he put his glass down, and put an arm around Caesar’s broad shoulders. They both stared at the water, the image of their feet wavering with the light and breeze. The wind chime that hung behind them rang, making little dings and dongs, producing a tune. It made Caesar want to fall asleep right then and there, with Joseph's arm around him and his heart content. He closed his eyes and leaned into Joseph's embrace, finding that Joseph's other muscular arm hugged Caesar as well. When Joseph squeezed him tight and pressed his cheek against his ear, Caesar’s heart felt like it would burst from his chest. Caesar found himself hugging Joseph back, his hands idly rubbing the muscles of his upper back. His chest tightened in a way that he hadn't felt since the last time he visited Joseph, and his breath stuttered when it slid from his parted lips. He gulped, willing the feeling to go away, but it didn't go away, and didn't show any signs that it would anytime soon. Caesar mentally begged Joseph to say something soon, before something horribly awkward came out of his own lips. But Joseph gently pushed Caesar back, his big hands on Caesar's big shoulders. Caesar looked at him with curiosity, waiting for Joseph to do whatever he was going to do. So he just sat there, watching Joseph's big turquoise eyes, and keeping his hands on the small of Joseph's back. Joseph leaned in close, so close, pressing their foreheads together, and then the tips of their noses. Caesar could feel Joseph's hands shaking on his shoulders, and his breath on his upper lip. Caesar felt his heart sink in his chest so hard that he imagined it as a fifty-pound weight that could crash through his ribcage. He wanted to whisper Joseph’s name to him, but he couldn't. His body was nervous and so was he. But he didn't need to, because soon those full lips were pressed hard into his. Then they pressed again, and Caesar pressed back. Joseph was kissing him. Their lips were dry and coarse but they were softening as they touched together with the deepest affection. Joseph’s breath tasted like champagne as Caesar breathed it in, and when he moved his hands to Joseph's cheeks, he felt how hot they were under his fingertips. Their kisses stayed mostly closed, but they were so warm that Caesar felt like he might just burst behind Joseph's sweet lips. I love you, I love you, he wanted to say, over and over again. Because he did. He loved Joseph so much, and he never wanted to leave his side again. I love you. Then Joseph started to quiver. His hands wobbled on Caesar's shoulders, his lips shook as he kissed him. Caesar took Joseph’s hands from his shoulders and held them gently, squeezing his fingers and petting the back of his hands. He moved his kiss from Joseph’s lips to his cheek, and backed up slowly. As much as he wanted to keep kissing him forever, Caesar cared more to find out if Joseph was okay. “Jojo… Talk to me, it’s okay,” he said. He watched Joseph’s eyes; they were so large and his tears threatened to fall. Caesar pushed on. “It’s okay, I’m here.” Joseph gulped, lowering his chin against Caesar’s shoulder and squeezing his hands. “I don’t want you to leave… Not again…” he cried. Caesar felt his heart twist in a knot, and he squeezed Joseph’s hands again. “It hurts so much when you go…” Caesar tilted Joseph’s head up, and leaned in to press their lips together again. “It hurts for me, too,” he said. “Why’s that?” Joseph asked, his tears falling now. They traced the sides of his cheeks quickly, leaving stains. “Why does it hurt so much?” “Because,” Caesar bit his lip, his cheeks flushing pink, “We… we love each other. Don’t we, Jojo?” Joseph flushed pink too, and his brilliant eyes went wide. He didn’t say anything for a few seconds, and Caesar worried. But then he nodded, and he looked down when he intertwined his fingers with him. Caesar let out a shivering breath of relief. “You’re right,” he said, smiling gently at Caesar, “I love you, Caesar.” “I-I love you too, Jojo…” Caesar said. Both of their hands were shaking. “I love you so much…” Caesar froze as Jojo kissed his cheek, and moved his lips to the underside of his chin. Caesar was so warm but he was shivering as Jojo pressed his soft lips against his hot skin. It was true, he was in love. And he didn’t want to leave... The two young men were still holding hands, their gazed locked in the beautiful night. Caesar gulped… he had contained his feelings for Jojo for so long, but now he knew they were reciprocated. He was happy beyond belief, and he wanted to kiss him again and again. “Caesar, um…” “Hm?” “Let’s go on a date. Tomorrow.” “Oh?” Caesar laughed gently and kept looking into Jojo’s eyes. He wouldn’t dare look away from him. “You are so forward, Jojo.” Joseph’s fierce expression and red-hot cheeks made Caesar chuckle again. That was more like his Jojo. “H-hey!” he said, “That’s hardly fair!” “You’re so cute,” Caesar hummed. He gave Jojo a slow kiss on the cheek. It was as warm as it looked. “Of course I’ll go on a date with you.” “Stupid casanova,” Joseph whined. But he squeezed Caesar’s hand. “Don’t be silly, Jojo,” Caesar purred, “I’m committed.” “Then you’ll stay?” Joseph asked, his eyes sparkling and his mouth in the shape of a small letter “o”. Caesar smiled at Joseph and pet his surprisingly soft hair. “Of course I will,” he said. And he did stay. From then on, Caesar never left Jojo’s side. Even when it was time for bed, Caesar would crawl under the covers with him, giving him soft kisses until they both fell asleep. They even held hands in public, and whoever dared comment never did again after they saw Joseph’s fury. Caesar eventually did kiss Joseph a thousand times, not that he counted. Besides, it didn’t matter, after all, because he could kiss Joseph all he wanted.
11305590	The Right Kind of	{ "Archive Warning": "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings", "Category": "M/M", "Characters": "Louise Pentland, Dodie Clark, PJ Liguori", "Fandom": "Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)", "Language": "English", "Rating": "Teen And Up Audiences", "author": "by orphan_account", "chapters": "1/?", "completed": "", "published": "2017-06-26T00:00:00", "words": "960", "Additional Tags": null, "Relationship": null, "Character": null, "Relationships": "Dan Howell/Phil Lester, Dan Howell & Phil Lester", "Series": null, "Collections": null, "Fandoms": null, "Archive Warnings": null, "Categories": null, "Bookmarks": null, "Chapters": null, "Comments": null, "Completed": null, "Hits": null, "Kudos": null, "Published": null, "Words": null, "Updated": null }	It was six twenty in the morning. The school was a shiny sort of clean that is impossible to recreate until the grounds are completely devoid of students. Period One was an hour away, and Daniel Howell was about to teach his first class. Daniel opened the door to the staff office. It was entirely empty, which made Daniel simultaneously anxious and at ease. He set his laptop on the spot designated “D. Howell”. Adjusting his leather bag, he checked his phone. He had four texts. The first three were from his mother. Mom: Good luck today. Dan!Mom: ILove YouMom: I can’t work this phone.Daniel smiled. His mother was still in the process of learning the logistics of iPhones, and wasn’t quite sure how the touch screen worked. He cleared the page. One more text was left. Poppy Maylor: Daniel, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean what I said. Really, I didn’t. I’m ready to take you back, Daniel. Last week was a mess, I know, but we can put that behind us, right? I love you, Daniel. I always will. Please let me know when you’ve read this. See you tonight, hopefully ;)He quickly typed back a reply. Me: You said you hated me and everything I stood for, Poppy. You hurt me beyond repair. I still have feelings for you, but you clearly don’t for me, and I can’t go through this relationship knowing that you cannot love me for who I am. Goodbye, Poppy. He locked his phone and put it back in his pocket. Logging into the school’s database to make sure he fully understood it, he heard the door open and shut behind him. “Morning,” said a blonde woman. She was about thirty, and wore a bright pink sundress that perfectly matched her lipstick. “Don’t believe we’ve met. My name’s Louise Pentland. You’re new?” “Yeah,” Daniel said, getting up out of his chair. “Daniel Howell. Pleasure, Louise.” “What are you teaching?” “English 9 and English 9 Honors. What about you?” “I teach English 11 and English 12. It’s certainly an adventure.” She giggled, her laugh full of life. “Last year, someone turned in an essay without any punctuation or capital letters. Said that their 10 teacher would accept it. Such an interesting guy, Phil Lester.” She laughed more. “You still have to meet him. That’ll be something you’ll remember for the rest of your life.” “Is he really that strange?” Daniel asked. “I mean, some people give him a hard time, but he’s been through a lot. I mean, he’s only 25 and already divorced. Feel so bad for the poor guy. His job’s just about the only thing he’s got right now, really.” The door opened once again. A tall, dark haired woman sat down at the desk labeled D. Clark. She opened her laptop to what seemed to be a music notation software. “That’s Dorothy Clark,” said Louise softly. “She largely keeps to herself, she conducts the choir. She’s really lovely when you get to know her.” Another door opening brought in a tall, dark haired man who wore a blue, buttoned shirt. “Oh, hello, Phil!” said Louise. “Phil, this is Daniel, the new English 9 and English 9 Honors teacher.” “Pleasure,” said Daniel. He looked Phil in the eye, noticing how incredibly blue they were. “Daniel Howell.” “Phil Lester,” Phil replied. He spoke with a slight northern accent. “English 10 and Honors.” “Nice, nice,” Daniel said. He could feel his phone vibrating repeatedly in his pocket. “Excuse me for a moment.” Daniel stepped out of the room. He answered the phone. “Daniel Howell.” “Dan? This is Poppy.” “Poppy, I-” “Listen to me, Daniel. I want you. I want your body.” “Poppy, I can’t do that.” “Do it for me.” “I have to go.” “Don’t go. Stay here with me. You know you want to.” “No. I really don’t. Goodbye.” He ended the call. “Sorry, I got a call from my friend,” Daniel muttered as he entered the staffroom again. “That’s fine. I’m actually going to head to my room,” Louise said. She walked to the door. “See you after school, Daniel, if I don’t see you earlier. Bye, Phil.” With that, Louise shut the door behind her, leaving Daniel alone with only Ms. Clark and Phil. “How, er, how long have you taught?” “This is my eighth year teaching, but my third here,” Phil said. “I actually went to school here, which is why I took the job here instead of keeping the one where I was. No matter what, you’re overworked and underpaid, so you might as well do it in a place that induces nostalgia.” “Where’d the northern accent come from, then?” “My parents grew up in Manchester, and I went to primary school there. My parents wanted to be closer to my brother’s college, so we moved here.” “Oh, that’s really cool! I wouldn’t go back to my old school to teach, there’s far too many memories of heads in toilets and homophobic slurs, you know?” “Oh, of course! Don’t forget the bad haircuts.” Phil laughed. “Yes! I think we all wanted to be the epitome of the MySpace kids.” The first bell rang. “We should probably head to our classes now,” Phil said. “The hoard is entering the building.” “Good plan.” Daniel took his leather messenger bag off of his chair and walked toward the door. “It was nice talking to you!” Daniel said, holding the door open for Phil. “Thanks! And you too! See you around!” Phil walked through the door and turned right, greeted by a faint chorus of “Hello, Mr. Lester!”, which Daniel assumed were his past students. And with that, Daniel turned left, and within twenty feet was his first class.

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