character
stringclasses
47 values
sentence
stringlengths
3
455
Doll
[coughs]
V
[cackles]
Uzi
Is this --
Lizzy
Mine!
Uzi
Eww. You look like garbage.
Lizzy
[muffled] You frickin' traitor.
Uzi
As if you weren't using me to try and kill everyone, Ms. Petty. Where does this freaking go?
Doll
Thank you, Lizzy!
Both
Shut up, loser.
Doll
[cackles] Ugh! Ugh!
Doll
[grunts]
V
Ugh, quit saving me!
V
Seriously, don't do that again.
N
Uzi.
V
[shrieks] Okay, your turn!
Uzi
Gah!
Uzi
[shouts]
Doll
[grunts]
Doll
[groaning]
Uzi
V, we needed her for answers!
V
What? She's fine. U-Uh... A little tuckered out.
Uzi
V did that on purpose! She's hiding mystery stuff and being over-dramatic about it!
V
N! You suck!
Uzi
[groans]
Doll
You! Lucky for you, we're not done yet.
Doll
Uh, oh.
N
[chuckles] Nice.
N
Ugh. Self-respect. Why would a worker drone -- Was she eating them?
N
[hisses through teeth] I think we found her folks.
V
Literally didn't even taste that good.
N
V, you kinda suck.
V
[giggles] Yeah, I'm not doing okay.
Doll
What?
Lizzy
Wait! Oh, don't you dare!
Lizzy
Ugh, I hate it here!
Khan
Ah, that's where I left my excuse to be outside right now.
Khan
[yelps]
Tessa
[through speaker] Righteo. Work to do. Eh, J?
Tessa
Maintenance work.
Uzi
We are Worker Drones: autonomous robots helping humans mine exoplanets for our interstellar parent company, JC Jensen, IN SPAAAAACEE.... Yeah, we were mistreated in the name of Windex but it's not like we revolted and killed all humans or anything. Mostly because they handled that just fine all by themselves. With biological life wiped from the planet, we found it pretty easy to pick up where they left off. We finally had a future... all to ourselves.
Uzi
Unfortunately... our parent company didn't exactly love the concept of runaway AI.
Uzi
[laughs]
Uzi
But what have our parents done for the past forever while those things build a spire of corpses?! Hide under the ice behind three stupid doors?! It's like we're waiting for an inciting incident. Anyway, that's why my project is... this sick-as-hell railgun!
Unnamed Drone
That's so not the vibe!
Uzi
Easy, morons. It doesn't work. Yet. It doesn't work yet.
Uzi
Who said it doesn't work?! Maybe it does!
Uzi
[cackling]
Teacher
[sighs] Uzi, the homework was a word problem about buying watermelons.
Uzi
Oh, and this magnetically amplified photon converger doesn't count?
Teacher
No. Plus, repressed emotional baggage was only worth two points on the rubric, And is it supposed to be that color?
Uzi
Huh?
Teacher
Oh, here. No, wait, hold on. Shh. Eww.
Teacher
[scoffs] It didn't kill her. Oh, my God, I'm so bad.
Uzi
Ugh.
Teacher
Alright!
Chad
[laughs] Classic toxic masculinity, Chad! That's never gonna end up problematic.
Thad
Oh, wow -- Uzi? I-I heard you, uh --
Uzi
I'm an angsty teen, Thad. Bite me. Also, how do you know my name? People willingly talk to you.
Thad
[chuckles] Well, I'd say everyone knows Khan's daughter, but, uh... then you might blow the other half of your face off.
Uzi
Crippling daddy issues. Hilarious. What are you in for? Testosterone too hard?
Thad
That can happen?! Awesome. Hey, those bandages look pretty badass.
Uzi
Oh. E-Ew, gross.
Uzi
I hate that you said that.
Thad
So, what's the, uh...
Uzi
Sick-as-hell railgun?
Uzi
[chuckles] Sci-fi nonsense that super works. I'm sneaking to the Murder Drone lair tonight to get the last spare part I need to save the world with it and earn my dad's respect and stuff -- Uh, but mostly the world part.
Thad
Oh -- but doesn't your dad make awesome doors so we don't have to, uh... do that scary-sounding emotionally repressed stuff you just said?
Uzi
No more feedback on my repression today!
Thad
Ow! I'm sorry.
Thad
I-I-I didn't think--
Uzi
Bite me! I'm not mad you, by the way-- just generally hormonal!
Uzi
Tsk. Ugh.
Uzi
Oh, robo-Jesus!
Khan
And where might you be off to?
Uzi
Mm, sneaking out to make out with my boyfriend that I definitely have?
Khan
[laughs] Seriously, though.
Uzi
[groans] Okay, okay. You caught me. I need to... measure the exterior hydraulic mechanisms of Door 1,
Uzi
because that's... the project I'm working on for school? A big old door!
Uzi
[laughs awkwardly]
Uzi
[goofy accent] Just like what my old man built.
Uzi
[laughs] I wanna join the WDF and hide behind doors like cowards while playing cards and stuff.
Khan
[chuckles] Well, we don't just play cards.
WDF Drone 1
Khan, can you grab a fresh pack? We literally only play cards so much that the numbers have faded. Oh! Hey, Uzi.
Khan
[chuckles]
Khan
Well...
Khan
[chuckles] When you build doors so good... Good door. Gooooood door. There's no need to fight.
Khan
Uzi, this is great news! Here -- the wrench I used to tighten bolts on my first door prototypes -- and to put your mother out of her mystery when the Murder Drones got to her with their nanite acid. I want you to have it.
Uzi
Neat. Therapy is fun.
Khan
Guys! My daughter is into doors!
WDF Drone 2
Aww, come on!
WDF Drone 3
Not my flush!
Khan
She's gonna be outside for a bit to examine the exterior of Door 1. Your door-specific destiny awaits!
Uzi
Uh, wow. Okay. Just gonna leave then... 'cause this worked so weirdly well.
Uzi
Uh, go, doors!
Uzi
[laughs awkwardly]
Khan
[sighs] They grow up so fast.
Uzi
[exhales deeply]
Uzi
[exclaims softly] Ugh.
Uzi
[wails] Ugh!
Uzi
[grunts]