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chaining us to our ego and the social hierarchy is severed when breathing diaphragmatically |
The discomfort from shallow breathing magnifies many addictive behaviors by making us |
feel desperation Our breathing becomes shallower when we are hungry thereby strengthening |
our cravings for food People use the phrase Im starving when they notice that their hunger |
is affecting their breathing Similarly many people turn to cigarettes alcohol and anger when |
they feel their breathing affected by unfavorable life circumstances When people use drugs to |
change their emotional state they are really changing the state of their breathing |
One can transform disordered breathing into quasihealthy breathing in minutes using |
barbiturates sedatives or opiates However that effect is shortlived and the inevitable |
withdrawal symptoms actually accentuate disordered breathing By contrast metronomeaided |
paced breathing kicks in faster than drugs or alcohol and makes you a stronger person rather |
than a weaker one Over time expect paced breathing to vastly increase your distress tolerance |
and your capacity for emotional regulation |
After started practicing paced breathing experienced a process of selfrecreation |
At the end of this process had a new aura a new persona and a new relationship with others |
The change within me elicited a different set of reactions from the people encountered |
Strangers initiated pleasant conversations with me Individuals in crowded public spaces were |
polite and at times even kind was more easily accepted in groups and committees found |
that children and animals approached me without hesitation However it made some adult |
males uncomfortable People who are competitive with you may assume at first glance that |
your undaunted breathing pattern is a facade But even after a brief interaction they will |
realize you are not faking it |
PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body |
You cant feign the poise made possible by diaphragmatic retraining Distressed breathing |
on the other hand is a signal to predators that you are in panic mode When someone smells |
fear they are actually sensing distressed breathing It tempts bullies to close in for the kill and |
tends to intensify arguments into fights Diaphragmatic breathing does the opposite by |
broadcasting assertive noncombative calm Diaphragmatic breathing safeguards you from |
violence whereas thoracic breathing invites it |
Many people only breathe easy in social situations in which they are with someone they |
feel they can patronize and talk down to We should be breathing easy no matter who we are |
with What people think about you how they are judging you and their current level of |
displeasure should not be a factor in the equation that determines your ease of breathing |
used to try to breathe more shallowly than everyone else around me to be polite This quickly |
becomes dangerous to your health You may not feel comfortable with how secure you appear |
to others when you breathe slowly and diaphragmatically You may feel there is incongruence |
between it and your level of attractiveness strength or socioeconomic status Im writing to |
promulgate the idea that there is never incongruity among these things |
A part of us is afraid that breathing calmly around others is the ultimate insult We are |
afraid that the other person will become angry if she sees us breathing too deeply We breathe |
the most shallowly around the most dominant people in our lives This is partly because when |
we breathe deeply our emotional reactivity decreases and our facial response time is delayed |
Our faces become calmer and may appear less attentive You might feel that this makes you |
look distant or disconnected |
You will notice that you breathe at long intervals during a conversation that your face goes |
blank and nonexpressive We need to get over the fear that someone will see us and think that |
we look too calm As Chapter will discuss there should be no such thing as looking too calm |
The best way to train this is to try to retain diaphragmatic breathing during all social |
encounters It will become sincere with practice Dont let outside influences or internal fears |
about them perturb your optimal breathing pattern |
Breathe Diaphragmatically in Public |
Diaphragmatic breathing in public is truly transformative When you first try it it will reveal |
your tendencies for agoraphobia and social anxiety Within a few minutes you will start to |
overcome them Heres what to do Take your breathing app with you to a restaurant coffee |
shop caf picnic table or bench in the park Then using headphones listen to your breath |
metronomes auditory breathing cues to practice paced breathing You will gradually feel |
yourself letting go of social uneasiness As this new attitude becomes your default you will lose |
your apprehension about potentially negative social outcomes making your outward |
appearance more assertive and less defensive Other people will see in your face that you are |
not afraid You will start to appraise the vast majority of people as harmless Instead of being a |
potential assailant or judgmental critic each person will become just another face |
Breathing Exercise Diaphragmatic Breathing in Public |
Use your breathing metronome or paced breathing app in a public place with |
headphones if necessary Good options include parks libraries malls and the block you |
live on If you are moving notice how you feel obliged to shorten your breaths when you |
Chapter Breathe Deeply Smoothly Slowly and on Long Intervals |
pass by someone If you are seated notice the same when they approach you In either |
case resist the instinct and continue paced breathing Notice how you feel like other |
people are judging you for being too calm and realize how ridiculous that is |
Alternatively try recruiting a friend to paced breathe with you |
Breathe Diaphragmatically While Speaking |
Once youve become familiar with breathing diaphragmatically in public try it in conversation |
This is more difficult Many of us become short of breath during social encounters especially |
when public speaking used to fully inhibit my diaphragm as soon as began speaking At first |
tried workarounds like taking intermittent breaks from conversation to regain my composure |
But that was socially disruptive What you want is to learn to breathe deeply and |
diaphragmatically while speaking This isnt easy because you must formulate what you want to |
say and simultaneously focus on monitoring your breath |
The best way to start is to read aloud while breathing diaphragmatically It will likely be |
uncomfortable at first because we all normally speak within a very narrow tidal range The trick |
to calming your speech is to prolong your speaking time and ensure that anxious gasps do not |
punctuate it The following exercise will guide you through the process note that it does not |
use a breath metronome |
Breathing Exercise Diaphragmatic Speech |
Sit down with a good book Take a slow full breath in and then start to read aloud Keep |
reading until you have no breath left to exhale Pause as you breathe in for five to ten |
seconds and then resume reading Repeat this cycle for five minutes or for as long as you |
like To do this you have to stop reading out loud for several seconds during the |
inhalationsdo so patiently You should find that you inhale for somewhere between five |
and seconds and that you speakexhale for between six and seconds Try to keep |
your voice at the same volume and pitch even when you approach the end of your |
exhalation It helps to speak in a calm friendly voice If you speak loudly and deeply while |
doing this activity your voice will become louder and deeper with time This exercise will |
make your extemporaneous speech balanced and collected |
Find your limithow long you can read without inhalingand then repeat that level of |
performance over and over To determine where that limit is try reading the remainder of this |
paragraph without breathing in Continue until you cannot possibly speak another word There |
should be a few seconds at the end where your voice changes appreciably and it becomes very |
uncomfortable to speak Your voice will begin to waver and lurch You will sound like someone |
in extreme respiratory distress and it may even start to feel like you just got punched in the |
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