data/lily/valid.json

[{"x": "trudy?", "y": "married."}, {"x": "blah blah?", "y": "committed."}, {"x": "relationship?", "y": "bellevue."}, {"x": "natalie?", "y": "ted's her least favorite person in the world."}, {"x": "oh but natalia, tell ted the problem.", "y": "yeah, yeah, tell him, tell him!"}, {"x": "well, unfortunately i'm going to have to leave the country soon because my visa is about to expire.", "y": "she needs to get married."}, {"x": "i need it back. where is the phone? well, heeellooooo. oh i met you already. where is the phone?", "y": "it's hidden."}, {"x": "it's the lure of ted.", "y": "bait?"}, {"x": "post rap? on which it would work?", "y": "it was the first week of college. i was way into wu-tang clan."}, {"x": "a mini pig? on which it would work?", "y": "you got a mini pig?"}, {"x": "it gives you false hope, but it does not engage with you, but it keeps you in the corner, just in case, like... an old canned chili in the pantry.", "y": "who would buy a can of chili for not eating it away?"}, {"x": "okay. wanna see my post of rap?", "y": "whore posting!"}, {"x": "it's like that. \"i can not be with you\". \"for now.\"", "y": "i think my high school boyfriend scooter, is a little to my hook."}, {"x": "a little? completely. the poor showed up at our wedding hope you recover.", "y": "it's weird when i see him at work."}, {"x": "wait. what?", "y": "scooter works in the ikea cafeteria 'school. we talked."}, {"x": "we certainly do not talk about that!", "y": "but if. i talked to full time. \"scooter canteen.\""}, {"x": "i thought you was talking about a long-awaited means of transport, carrying such poor canteen.", "y": "it explains a lot."}, {"x": "you're mounted on it? you did a tour?", "y": "no!"}, {"x": "so these poor women must still walk? expect. scooter works in your school?", "y": "are you jealous?"}, {"x": "i feel bad for scooter. it took this job just because he thinks he has a chance with you. you must ensure that he understands that it is wrong for it turns the page and gets a real work canteen. sh*t!", "y": "i tried!"}, {"x": "i saw that you had free time. so do i. and if you fled?", "y": "let me be clear, scooter. there is no way that you and i are together. for now."}, {"x": "\"for now\"? you got to the earnest scooter? you must release your scooter hook.", "y": "you're right. tomorrow, that's what i'll do."}, {"x": "why not tomorrow?", "y": "i can not spoil the tijuana tuesday."}, {"x": "i know you're having trouble dropping scooter. i decided that you need training. and you say that the problem is his sad eyes? okay, shut up, woman. now i want you to look this mini pig and you tell him it is impossible for you to be with him one day.", "y": "mini pig, it is impossible that i may one day with you. for now."}, {"x": "go! be a man!", "y": "i'm sorry, but it is just so cute. i just want to cuddle him all day. oh, yes."}, {"x": "you know, it's funny. i remember when you told me stuff like that.", "y": "i still do."}, {"x": "well, no, but...", "y": "and tell me, would you have accidentally made this chocolate cake?"}, {"x": "it was a pre-made.", "y": "there's no shame to admit it. we were all hooked and we all hooked someone."}, {"x": "come on, lily. you must drop scooter. try it again.", "y": "mini pig... i do not wanna be with you. for now."}, {"x": "act like a man!", "y": "mini pig... i do not wanna be with you. ever."}, {"x": "finish him!", "y": "it will never be together in any sexual way again."}, {"x": "well done. weird thing to say to a pig.", "y": "really bad."}, {"x": "you know what? that will not work between us... ever. i'm done. and that's really better for traffic if you weight the arch with your thumbs. now i'm done.", "y": "i can do it alone."}, {"x": "so prove it. and... take me a pudding.", "y": "listen, scooter. there is no way we ever be together."}, {"x": "right now! i'm sorry but he is adorable.", "y": "listen. i want to be with you."}, {"x": "i hope you do not talk to you.", "y": "it's been 4 months since you broke up with barney. it's time to get back on the market."}, {"x": "that is no sex before hot date 17th.", "y": "if you're not going to take her 17th hot date, you should give up."}, {"x": "i can not believe. friends... this is it! she wrote the book! it must be named anita. my plan was to sleep with her but it changes everything. new plan i'll sleep with her.", "y": "that girl that barney hunting, it seems a somewhat anti-barney. i like the way the universe has decided to collect."}, {"x": "actually, anita barney went to see him because i have requested.", "y": "you told to go and see anita barney? how you know her?"}, {"x": "i know it was stupid, but, see, at that time, i was still depressed over the break. i was in my phase of mourning. it means a lot of tape and long nights at the sh**ting range.", "y": "i hope this was not the same nights."}, {"x": "you knew that robin was in mourning? it looked good after the break.", "y": "you know her. she keeps her emotions for her. but yes, i saw her crying sometimes."}, {"x": "how could you let me do? you're my wife. you must avoid that i ridiculed in public.", "y": "i know, but the song is rather catchy."}, {"x": "i just... i canceled.", "y": "a problem?"}, {"x": "typical of a guy.", "y": "barney, sit down, there are two three things to tell you."}, {"x": "what, she is upset?", "y": "of course she is upset. look at you, poor trail."}, {"x": "i did worse after the premiere of \"the phantom menace.\"it's been like that since we broke up?", "y": "well, it was much better before you decide to go to your stupid super hot date with anita. and now she broods, god knows where."}, {"x": "small bonus, i took pictures of me naked before packing. with a node.", "y": "there was not a knot."}, {"x": "on the other device.", "y": "thank you. i will make great photos of our group with that."}, {"x": "why?", "y": "you know... light, color, balance, aperture..."}, {"x": "you say stuff pictures. expect. you do not want it to look like a couple, right?", "y": "of course. you will not last! the photo is forever."}, {"x": "happy birthday! here is amanda.", "y": "and amanda..."}, {"x": "i've nicknamed \"lose hair 'at work.", "y": "i'm really happy you make me my cake."}, {"x": "i think ted whispered the word \"yellow\". it is equally untrue. this game is called... raising the cost of perfection.", "y": "pretty."}, {"x": "of course it was me.", "y": "come here."}, {"x": "too cute. lily, guess who wrote it. \"you look really nice.\"", "y": "i would say amanda."}, {"x": "well, i'm going to finish the cake.", "y": "tell me if you need help. quick, group photo! all front of the fireplace."}, {"x": "wait, i'll find amanda.", "y": "no problem, it is occupied. the bother, come on."}, {"x": "wait... you do not want amanda on the picture, right?", "y": "well, you know, auto focus, speed of obstruction, zoom..."}, {"x": "tell me the truth.", "y": "of course not. i let another of your b*tches spoil my memories."}, {"x": "lily, what are you talking?", "y": "ted, you always do that. you bring a girl knows that not all our evenings with us."}, {"x": "that's not true.", "y": "really? so, let us walk bitch street shuffle."}, {"x": "my friends, i made a song for tonight. follow me, the chorus is this merry, merry lily-anniversary...", "y": "christmas morning, there was 4. our first christmas together, just us five. here's another nice little game. it's called, appoints this bitch."}, {"x": "that's pap pa......", "y": "false. you think the santa claus, because it was christmas."}, {"x": "i remember, this is sarah.", "y": "almost. this is leilani. she had to come at christmas because, you said, \"folks, this may be good.\" and this is not the only \"maybe good\". eve 2007, barney, lily, robin, ted, marshall and \"it's good\" emily. the funeral of uncle cecil robin, marshall, lily, robin, barney, ted and... \"it proves that you selected the eyes closed\" isabelle. my appendicitis, robin, marshall, barney, lily, ted, and it... you've admitted, you just wanted to make. compliance."}, {"x": "thank you. you believe not just enter. look! look! why not look at you! this is slash from g*ns n'roses!", "y": "group photo!"}, {"x": "the funny for this photo. i plottait ass.", "y": "oh? so do i."}, {"x": "lily, sorry for amanda. but i'll say. you make your spoiled rotten. you in all your statements because you think i messed up two three photos?", "y": "these girls have ruined so many things, or you forget paris."}, {"x": "this is what happened in paris?", "y": "in the first year of college, i studied in paris, and i had not seen marshall since 2 months."}, {"x": "2 months. and i just started making love. i was not ready to stop for 2 months.", "y": "and marshall came to me to spring break. and at the last minute, ted decided to go with the girl he had just to get back, karen."}, {"x": "i'm so excited to remake love.", "y": "but just before takeoff..."}, {"x": "do your thing is, i slept with the philosophy teacher last night? because i do.", "y": "and so began the longest 730 of marshall's life. when i went to look for..."}, {"x": "2 months! my balls were blue! blue!", "y": "it will not surprise you, but the rest of the trip was horrible. i did a picture of a romantic kiss in front of the eiffel tower, i actually had. it was just between karen and francis, our server yesterday."}, {"x": "i feel sorry for paris and group photos ruined, but... when you're single, you must hope that every girl is good. i mean, erin.irene.", "y": "emily. isabelle."}, {"x": "and sarah.", "y": "leilani! what's your problem?"}, {"x": "at the time, i thought each of these girls could be good, but i have to keep hoping. i have no choice.", "y": "here is another. more random bitch to my birthday! hey, baby!"}, {"x": "you have a cake rack?", "y": "the drawer under the oven. i can not wait. you're the best!"}, {"x": "uh...", "y": "you should listen to robin."}, {"x": "because robin is your best friend.", "y": "right."}, {"x": "your best friend on earth.", "y": "absolutely."}, {"x": "before being your best friend, what was she? that's it. one of my random sluts.", "y": "yes, okay, ted. this bitch has proved some nice, but except for b*tches, not the rule of b*tches."}, {"x": "\"and nice and sweet and so nice! \"", "y": "yes. we are a family. so why these parties can not they be us?"}, {"x": "i did not say that!", "y": "it's as if you had done."}, {"x": "i am a vegetarian.", "y": "let us raise our glasses. during the last 3 years, marshall has worked so hard, and i am so proud of you."}, {"x": "and that's it. i hope you will like.", "y": "\"happy 42nd birthday, lori.\""}, {"x": "\"42nd\"? does the f*cking b*mb appeared to have 42 years? or worse, she has a mind to call lori?!", "y": "no, marshall, it does not matter."}, {"x": "you know what these pictures? a big lie. we ask. they are retouched. they are what you want but not the reality.", "y": "this is not true!"}, {"x": "and you got me pinched cheeks very hard for them to be pink.", "y": "yeah, but you were beautiful."}, {"x": "actually, it was a good evening.", "y": "it's true."}, {"x": "yeah, that was good.", "y": "look at that one. this is the first picture of us three."}, {"x": "cool. fine. one, two...", "y": "hi, marshall. ready for the film?"}, {"x": "and if you came to ask us?", "y": "really?"}, {"x": "come.", "y": "i had totally forgotten that. marshall and i were together for only a few weeks and you invited me in the photo."}, {"x": "i liked you.", "y": "we must bring back amanda."}, {"x": "really?", "y": "you believed in me. it's my turn to believe in you. as far as i know, this is good."}, {"x": "it is said that it was after 40 years we know each other really.", "y": "come on everybody, come here. let's make a memory."}, {"x": "now, marshall!", "y": "names that bitch."}, {"x": "ann has...? anna?", "y": "no, it was my birthday."}, {"x": "your brain is too predictable associations.", "y": "come on, everybody. come here. let's make a memory."}, {"x": "you know, in fact, it was not me who should pay.because i do not really like pizza.", "y": "what!?"}, {"x": "it was literally across the country a hundred times for a pizza.", "y": "i even caught a pizza in the shower."}, {"x": "okay, so i have no money on me... it's because... i was assaulted.", "y": "you...?"}, {"x": "that's good.", "y": "did you get mugged?"}, {"x": "it will not work. if?", "y": "not a bit."}, {"x": "i authorize you to do.", "y": "i do not think there's a g*n to my marshmallow. now, i tremble. i think i will not sleep all night."}, {"x": "it's gold! but i'd rather say 'put me behind you. \"", "y": "baby, do not worry for me, i mean, yes, i'm a little scared, but i am new york. i will not let me change it."}, {"x": "maybe there should be a pause..", "y": "i said, \"shipper\"."}, {"x": "you wanna buy a g*n?", "y": "no one who scares. a tiny beretta pink that goes with these cute sandals i just bought. in fact, our new credit card works."}, {"x": "pretty easy, huh? dispatch, baby. the party will begin. you had to disguise yourself in sexy chat!", "y": "i have changed my mind."}, {"x": "now, you want to add a w*apon in this equation?", "y": "i know, you're right, but every time i close my eyes, i see this guy pointing a g*n at you. and... you're my world, marshall. if something happened to you one day, i would..."}, {"x": "it's good. it's good.", "y": "he assaulted you naked?"}, {"x": "yeah, i got mugged by a monkey. i was embarrassed, so i invented another story. the important, lily, you do not need a w*apon.", "y": "forget the w*apon. it is on that now."}, {"x": "the monkeys att*ck people? it really is a jungle out.", "y": "this monkey has our address. and if it belonged to a g*ng?i hope he will climb to see us."}, {"x": "so, where did they find?", "y": "i think naked in a tree, throwing his feces."}, {"x": "this part is right. it is not unusual, right? thailand, china, costa rica, people are att*cked by monkeys all the time.they are gatherers. because of their dynamic inter-social, have a predisposition to flight, gives them a genetic advantage.", "y": "you've been mugged by a monkey!"}, {"x": "because the fbi wanted to be occupied while they searched his home. come on, marshall. i need history. it has everything. crime, monkeys, no stupid model of the empire state building, which takes me all my living room and smelly glue everywhere. go. do this for me... as a friend?", "y": "it would be nice to see you on tv."}, {"x": "can you promise me to present it so that i am not ridiculous to myself assaulted by a monkey?", "y": "you've been mugged by a monkey."}, {"x": "you know it.", "y": "well done! i have too much sleep last night. can you imagine that i almost buy a g*n? i'm glad you assaulted by a monkey."}, {"x": "because of this incident, we will send captain bobo in a nature reserve.", "y": "i bet he will love it."}, {"x": "i have not really been att*cked by a monkey. i invented it for that lily buys a g*n.", "y": "you have not been att*cked by a monkey?"}, {"x": "not five minutes. i have not been att*cked by a monkey.", "y": "it's good. i buy a g*n."}, {"x": "did you or not, was att*cked by captain bobo?", "y": "tell us just what happened."}, {"x": "and if you do not boil the jars of jam, it will be a haven for bacteria.", "y": "oh, congratulations!"}, {"x": "... marriage...", "y": "... never..."}, {"x": "ted, ted, what are you doing? it is the marriage of your mother!", "y": "seriously, ted is fine? i mean, i know that the weekend was hard, but hey... it's weird radio silence."}, {"x": "hi, guys.", "y": "ted, where were you?"}, {"x": "hey, man, you would not possibly let someone who does not like a kind of mania old driving license?", "y": "yeah, but where we're going to end?"}, {"x": "oh! oh! oh! ted, come! oh, my god!", "y": "we do not want to know what you do on the internet when you feel alone."}, {"x": "guys... i just bought the house of my dreams.", "y": "what, are you saying that you bought the house?"}, {"x": "whoa.", "y": "ted, you're barge. it will take years and a small fortune for it to be liveable."}, {"x": "look out, man.", "y": "ted, you can not go on like this where you will make your life. it does not work like that."}, {"x": "oh, my god, guys! great new game \"drunk or child? \"i was what? guess.", "y": "bourre."}, {"x": "it was not me!", "y": "what?"}, {"x": "burgers, burgers will be made.", "y": "ted, stop that. you can not keep this house. this is a huge mistake."}, {"x": "yeah, you have leaky pipes. but on the bright side, the pond in your basement drowned rats the biggest and slowest.the others, well... they go by.", "y": "you see, you should have waited to see all the problems that home."}, {"x": "i made a mistake in letting you go, right? your penis is huge.", "y": "boy, you've almost had us still."}, {"x": "hey, good, good news is that the inspector has k*lled some cockroaches at the time of impact.", "y": "oh, stay there. huge hole on the second floor. i just want to be sure the report is accurate."}, {"x": "guys, i'm in trouble. i mean, the best i can do is to improve the house and sell the property with great losses.", "y": "listen, ted... usually in life, when you make a huge mistake, you must learn to live with. but how many times you got the chance to take a mass break out and all?"}, {"x": "thank you lily. it was fantastic.", "y": "a ted mosby, owner, friends, and if he can rent it, slumlord."}, {"x": "but... now that you've mentioned... you wanna install?", "y": "you said what?"}, {"x": "and we could not be more proud of you, my angel.", "y": "it still seems fast."}, {"x": "how was your weekend, or any other topic?", "y": "atrocious."}, {"x": "terrible.", "y": "twin beds? i can not sleep in separate beds. we should complain."}, {"x": "yeah, you're right, i'll ask for another room.", "y": "yeah, i'll go with you in just a second......"}, {"x": "we spent 18 hours.", "y": "we missed the full board."}, {"x": "lily, be honest. it's not weird that robin train with an ex?", "y": "ted and robin broke up there for years. this is not a problem."}, {"x": "my knee itches. i'll just scratch a little.", "y": "it should have separate beds."}, {"x": "yes, a mini fridge. and separate beds.", "y": "a deal!"}, {"x": "humans are not made to share a bed. sex and sleep are associated, but these are two different things.", "y": "i know. i love you, but i want this new bed is a sanctuary of my sleep and my sleep only."}, {"x": "me too. and snacks, but that's all. you know what we should do? buy a third bed to make love.", "y": "a bed for sex. for hot sex and bestiality."}, {"x": "awesome. that way, each bed will have its uses.", "y": "right. there will be two beds for sleeping, one for sex, and i thought an ottoman for birthdays."}, {"x": "baby, you come to revolutionize modern marriage?", "y": "and how."}, {"x": "my chair!", "y": "from spicy tuna? my favorite."}, {"x": "you will not believe. don also has twin beds.", "y": "we just had."}, {"x": "great. super.", "y": "wait. this \"super\" does not look great."}, {"x": "we all talk!", "y": "i'm worried. i do not want that divorce."}, {"x": "this is don. it's not us. our new way to sleep is only going to get closer. now, get out of my bed.", "y": "we can at least get closer?"}, {"x": "sure. you spoke of the beds. no, i'm not.", "y": "why?"}, {"x": "i love you more than anything, but you're worse than a kettle. i'm surprised that your pee breaks are not as steam.", "y": "you're not perfect either. between the food and ants. but... i still want to be with you."}, {"x": "to hit me and slam me all night? i swear, as soon as you fall asleep, it looks like it push you arms. one would think sleeping with an indian goddess.", "y": "we're getting closer?"}, {"x": "you speak of beds yet?", "y": "nope."}, {"x": "it was good. well, you gotta go.", "y": "what?"}, {"x": "i'm sorry. it was great and you're great. but, i must get up early, so...", "y": "you throw me like that?"}, {"x": "guess what i have behind my back.", "y": "wait, wait. i will find. left."}, {"x": "that's exactly it, according to the website!", "y": "wait, wait. who is the fifth ticket?"}, {"x": "i refuse. i'd like to come but, i go out with don saturday. there is a chinese.", "y": "i assume you're talking about cooking, otherwise i would have other issues."}, {"x": "i'm sorry, lily, but i have a chance to don. and i will not drink out with you every night... especially when \"you\" included two of my ex.", "y": "i understand. you're right. we miss you much."}, {"x": "she said no? how could she? robots vs. wrestlers of our tradition is the largest group.", "y": "tradition? it was never done."}, {"x": "i was going to say \"was found eaten by her cats,\" but it's not good either. everybody leaves me, and i like it!", "y": "do not worry about a baby on our side. it is not yet started."}, {"x": "absolutely. a small road.", "y": "a small long road."}, {"x": "but you can see.", "y": "very, very far."}, {"x": "but you can see the exit sign.", "y": "oh? i see it."}, {"x": "and since, in every mail we receive, the picture becomes clearer. but we know not how it looks. i will follow it as always...", "y": "open it."}, {"x": "this building is fabulous! you saw the gate and terracotta panels outside?", "y": "i just got a text from robin. it says..."}, {"x": "guys, we get together. lil, you can do... all you have to watch the guy in front, say your name is marissa heller, and it passes. and i repeat, to be sure, no accent.", "y": "it is certain that it is not english, though? okay! i do. i go there. sorry. go ahead."}, {"x": "i come for the reception of mr. van smoot. i'm marissa heller.", "y": "damn it then!"}, {"x": "she has beautiful teeth. it should not need the reminder cards to go to the dentist.", "y": "what do we do?"}, {"x": "i said i'd get us.", "y": "no one? do i understand that there is not one fan of soap in this elevator?"}, {"x": "zsa zsa gabor is still sexy, but other than that, it is rotten this holiday.", "y": "we tried, it's been 20 minutes. we are going. where is ted?"}, {"x": "i missed that glitch. i know, do not bother to say. there's no glitch in the wine.", "y": "miss lily in the living room with the chancellor."}, {"x": "great god, no! they belonged to edgar allan poe!", "y": "sorry!"}, {"x": "it's an evening.", "y": "it means nothing."}, {"x": "you crazy not me, marshall. let's be honest. the group is finite. ted is gone, like robin. that separates us as well.", "y": "boy, barney, stop with your abandonment issues. ted has the right to have a life outside the group. as we all."}, {"x": "wait. why do you say that all of a sudden? my god, you're pregnant!", "y": "no."}, {"x": "my god, have you ever had the baby! it is just behind me, huh?", "y": "no, silly. one day we all move forward in our lives. it's called growing up."}, {"x": "you can at least promise to not get pregnant within a year?", "y": "i can not."}, {"x": "holy sh*t!", "y": "i can not believe!"}, {"x": "do you really think about all this?", "y": "i know. maybe not."}, {"x": "for what it's worth, i think we are ready. we love, we are financially stable, and frankly, it would change that much the way we live.", "y": "if being at home with a baby, tonight we have never seen a dead ringer for ted. it would make you what, if we had missed it?"}, {"x": "i blame the boy for the rest of his life.", "y": "right, for his daughter's life."}, {"x": "you're right. no need to rush.", "y": "what do you say that? we agree that it makes no sense to have a child before he saw the five doubles, right?"}, {"x": "sure, it goes without saying.", "y": "so when we finally see a dead ringer for barney, this is the message of the universe to tell us to do. and at that time, we'll try. deal?"}, {"x": "okay, i'm almost ready to leave. let's just go through the checklist. candles?", "y": "check."}, {"x": "music to set the mood?", "y": "check."}, {"x": "music for when we're actually doing it?", "y": "check."}, {"x": "nope!", "y": "okay, so, here's what happened. i was at home, waiting for marshall."}, {"x": "hey! how was your day? don't answer. no time. bedroom. no, no. no time. floor. no, no time. against this wall!", "y": "marshall, whoa! wait. a big package just arrived."}, {"x": "yeah, it did.", "y": "no, no. it's a real package from your dad."}, {"x": "well, that's a little weird, but yeah, it is.", "y": "marshall, look!"}, {"x": "a bassinet? oh, my... he must've made it in his wood shop. wasn't that sweet of him? lil? isn't that sweet? lily?", "y": "you told your dad we're trying to have a baby?"}, {"x": "we have been looking forward to this magical, special night for two weeks now. and, sweetie, during that time, i have been... how do i put this delicately? saving all my love for you.", "y": "i have read 11 books on conception. i have cut out alcohol, caffeine and sugar. i take my temperature every hour. but good for you for not playing with yourself."}, {"x": "lily! we kind of had a plan tonight, remember? candles? banjo?", "y": "who else did you tell? did you tell anyone at the office?"}, {"x": "i may have mentioned it in passing to a couple of colleagues at work. i'm sorry about that, but you know what? i got to be able to tell my dad.", "y": "your dad is the last person you should tell! the man is too involved in our lives! it's like, every time the phone rings..."}, {"x": "so, don't worry. i called the dmv, i called your amex, i got that process started for you.", "y": "hello."}, {"x": "lily, marvin eriksen. i understand you and marshall have been fighting. well, let me tell you what works for me and the missus. frilly french undies and a box of wine.", "y": "hello."}, {"x": "pickles would have helped that sandwich!", "y": "the man has no boundaries. and i just can't procreate under these conditions!"}, {"x": "yeah, well, you know what? i've already told him, so the damage is done.", "y": "so, call him and tell him we decided not to have a baby."}, {"x": "okay, so you just... you want me to give my dad a stroke?", "y": "only if you want to give this a stroke."}, {"x": "okay, out of curiosity,when do we tell him about the baby?", "y": "we'll tell him about the baby when there's a baby to tell him about."}, {"x": "so, he just gets no notice? he just walks into his boss's office, and says, \"i just had a grandson. i'm gonna be out for three months.\"", "y": "out for three months?"}, {"x": "yeah. he and my mom are coming to live with us when the baby's born. we talked about this.", "y": "no, we didn't."}, {"x": "i meant, me and my dad.", "y": "you know what, marshall? why don't you have a baby with your dad?"}, {"x": "oh, okay, lily.why don't you have a baby with your butt?", "y": "what?"}, {"x": "okay, will do. and dibs.", "y": "barney, am i crazy? marshall talks to his dad way too much, right?"}, {"x": "oh, you don't want my opinion on that.", "y": "why not?"}, {"x": "if i had my dad's number, i would never not be on the phone with him.", "y": "that was really..."}, {"x": "whoa, a hottie with a body! boing...!", "y": "brief."}, {"x": "anyway, i need you guys to come out to staten island on saturday and help box everything up.", "y": "you expect us to spend a whole day packing up your mom's house?"}, {"x": "no one believes that story.", "y": "you may be able to talk the brain surgeons you pick up into doing whatever you want, but it's not gonna work on us."}, {"x": "thank you guys so much for helping us out with this stuff.", "y": "oh, it gives us a rare insight into the makings of barney stinson. like, look at this. who was a cute little basketball player before he became the biggest pervert in the world?"}, {"x": "damn. loretta really lied a lot to her kids.", "y": "well, she's not alone. whenever marshall was acting too hyper, his mom would suddenly decide he was \"sick\" and give him cough medicine until he passed out."}, {"x": "i'm pretty sure that's what stunted my growth. i hit 6'4\" in the fifth grade, and then i just stopped.", "y": "and then there's the most popular parental lie in history. santa."}, {"x": "yeah!", "y": "santa's still a lie, and i'm not lying to our kids."}, {"x": "baby, it's santa. don't you want our kids going to sleep on christmas eve with their hearts full of hope, their heads full of crazy cough syrup nightmares, knowing that downstairs kris kringle is stuffing their stockings full of joy and stuffing his belly full of milk and lutefisk that they left him?", "y": "milk and lutefisk? santa doesn't get cookies in minnesota?"}, {"x": "yeah, that's just what santa needs at 300 a.m. when he's battling a snowstorm over the rockies a sugar crash. no. santa needs protein.", "y": "i'm not lying to our kids."}, {"x": "i suppose you have a problem with the easter bunny, too.", "y": "not now."}, {"x": "maybe we shouldn't have brought these sloppy joes.", "y": "oh, what's done is done."}, {"x": "you're my son.", "y": "god, this must be so hard for barney."}, {"x": "he's also quite the detective.", "y": "don't worry. we'll... we'll snap barney out of this when he gets back."}, {"x": "what?", "y": "are you kidding?"}, {"x": "yeah, thank you.", "y": "where's the poop, robin?"}, {"x": "excuse me?", "y": "when i was a kid, i had a dog named bean. whenever he made the face that you're making right now, you just knew he pooped somewhere in the house. where's the poop, robin?"}, {"x": "i don't know what you're talking about.", "y": "where's the poop, robin?"}, {"x": "there's no poop.", "y": "where's the poop?"}, {"x": "thank you.", "y": "good for you. where's the poop, robin?"}, {"x": "damn it! okay, in the process of truly getting over him, i may have called him and left an... indelicate voice mail.", "y": "give me your phone. we're deleting don's number."}, {"x": "don't worry. i am never doing that again. it was a one-time thing.", "y": "prove it. delete contact."}, {"x": "look, i didn't get sh*t down. trust me, i'll get the yes. barney stinson always gets the yes. this is all part of the plan. after initial contact, i'm now in the ignoring phase.", "y": "barney, why can't you just take a girl out to dinner like a normal person?"}, {"x": "no? are you kidding me?", "y": "but designing a building in new york city is your lifelong dream."}, {"x": "hey, lily!", "y": "don't \"hey, lily\" me. i smelled poop all the way from the hallway."}, {"x": "oh, no, not this again.", "y": "where's the poop, robin?"}, {"x": "\"this just in\" is what i'm gonna say when i'm stabbing you.", "y": "but that's impossible. you deleted his number."}, {"x": "i tried to. but then this thing popped up on my phone that said, \"are you sure?\" and i wasn't sure. i can't lie to my phone.", "y": "oh, sweetie, i totally understand. delete it!"}, {"x": "it's not that easy, okay? you're not just deleting a number, you're deleting a part of your life. you know, all those memories, all those experiences. it's like you're admitting they're gone forever.", "y": "i know, sweetie. i know. delete it!"}, {"x": "okay, if it's that easy, i'm gonna delete one of your numbers from your phone, see how you like it.", "y": "my \"plezh.\" if you can find a number in there that i don't call regularly, i'll gladly delete it."}, {"x": "super kicks karate.", "y": "no, not that one. that's my dojo."}, {"x": "you have a dojo?", "y": "i took an introductory karate class."}, {"x": "what's the matter, lady? you scared?", "y": "of you? please. i'm a kindergarten teacher."}, {"x": "i hated kindergarten. all three times.", "y": "but i'm totally gonna sign up for more lessons."}, {"x": "how long ago did you take that class?", "y": "i don't know. it was around the time when everyone was going, \"wassuuuuuuup!\""}, {"x": "how do you even remember that? lily, this is a number that you will never dial again.", "y": "i might."}, {"x": "no, no. but you keep it in your phone because it reminds you of a version of yourself that you could be, even if it's a version of yourself that you'll never become. and that's okay.", "y": "no, it's not. okay, you know what? there, gone. your move, scherbatsky."}, {"x": "no! barney's been \"putting the moves\" on ted.", "y": "oh, that sucks. although i like you two together."}, {"x": "well, i mean, not exactly in those...", "y": "you're loving this."}, {"x": "no.", "y": "you are. you're loving the attention."}, {"x": "i am not that kind of architect. so get this...", "y": "robin never deleted don's number."}, {"x": "no, no, we're gonna... we're gonna play another gig again. probably really soon. it's just we all got super busy, and... we're not going to play another gig again, are we?", "y": "probably not, baby."}, {"x": "sorry, marshall. but if i have to, you have to.", "y": "okay. your turn."}, {"x": "hey, guys.", "y": "where's the poop, robin?"}, {"x": "i think that's just called a dog.", "y": "where's the poop, robin?"}, {"x": "fine. i called don again.", "y": "i thought you deleted his number."}, {"x": "i did, but it turns out, i memorized it. you can't delete contacts from your brain, lily.", "y": "well, you have to try. if you ever want to have closure..."}, {"x": "no, ted, i'm really looking at her face.", "y": "aw... that's actually really sweet."}, {"x": "oh! oh, god! no, no, no!", "y": "that's it! you know what? five-minute time-out! corner booth! now."}, {"x": "i have seen plenty of other famous people. last week i saw... maury povich.", "y": "dude, everyone sees maury povich."}, {"x": "i have been here for almost six years. it's not like i just got off a boat.", "y": "a boat! oh, wait, that is how you say it."}, {"x": "i'd say you're not a real new yorker until you've stolen a cab from someone who needs it more than you do.", "y": "no, you're not a real new yorker till you've cried on the subway and not given a damn what anyone thinks."}, {"x": "oh, come on, if we jump in a cab, we'll be there in 15 minutes.", "y": "a real new yorker would know the subway's faster. you just take the one, and transfer to the two-three."}, {"x": "medium rare. but that's not important right now. look, i know the city better than any of you guys, okay?", "y": "oh, my god!"}, {"x": "it's gonna be positive. eriksen man are hella fertile. when uncle morris was 16, he got his girlfriend pregnant just by holding her hand too tight in the backseat of a car. now i'm thinking my parents lied to me.", "y": "negative."}, {"x": "negative? well, we know it's not me.", "y": "everything's fine. these things take time."}, {"x": "not with an eriksen. something must be wrong with you. also, my mom hates you.", "y": "you know what? just to make sure, i'm gonna pee on this again."}, {"x": "maury... maury...", "y": "track maintenance? 20-minute delay?"}, {"x": "how do you do that?", "y": "i grew up here, i speak conductor. damn it! damn it!"}, {"x": "and i smell incredible. smell me. just, seriously, smell me.", "y": "sweetie? are you okay?"}, {"x": "no. i am done with this city. it wins. i just want to move somewhere new and start over.", "y": "you've had a rough year. but you're tough. and i love you like crazy. if you left, i'd have to follow you. and marshall would follow me. and ted would follow him. the only upside is that we might get rid of barney. bring it in."}, {"x": "what did he say?", "y": "no clue. hey, is that maury povich?"}, {"x": "hey! lily.", "y": "sorry, sweetie. i swear i'll be a great friend at the finish line, but the conductor just said you're going express to borough hall, which means you're screwed, sweetie. so long, sucker. damn it. hey, it's lily. help me."}, {"x": "sounds like you guys need to clear everything, subtract the negativity, and add some perspective.", "y": "marshall! marshall, get in!"}, {"x": "how did that even happen?", "y": "okay, he's in. go. go. g*n it."}, {"x": "ted is in the way.", "y": "run him over."}, {"x": "no. lily, what the hell is the matter with you?", "y": "nothing. i just want to win this really badly. so badly that i just ditched my best friend when she needed me."}, {"x": "oh, baby, you were also going to run over ted.", "y": "why did i get so crazy about this?"}, {"x": "maybe for the same reason that i kept saying that i could run seven miles. i... i'm trying to be really, um, confident and positive about all this, but, baby, i'm really scared that we're not pregnant yet.", "y": "oh, thank god. i keep thinking there's something wrong with me."}, {"x": "i keep thinking there's something wrong with me.", "y": "it's only been two months."}, {"x": "we are crazy.", "y": "we're totally crazy."}, {"x": "this is the last time it's ever going to be just the two of us. shouldn't we be enjoying that?", "y": "we gotta go back to paris."}, {"x": "and take ballroom dancing.", "y": "and really learn how to ski. not just up and get faced in the lodge."}, {"x": "and see coney island. i've still never been. see, we have a whole bucket list of things to do before we start having kids.", "y": "oh, a cradle list."}, {"x": "i'm... so glad we're trying, and i'm going to be really excited for when it happens, but this isn't a race.", "y": "it isn't a race."}, {"x": "oh, yeah.", "y": "oh, baby. no, no. not the slipper socks with the rubber soles. i work so hard to-to set the mood, and-and when i see those, i feel the egg go right back up my fallopian tube."}, {"x": "baby, these satin sheets are slippery. papa needs traction.", "y": "traction?"}, {"x": "as you know, papa likes to get down with enthusiasm.", "y": "please stop calling yourself \"papa.\""}, {"x": "and without traction, papa's likely to boogie himself right out of bed. it's either these or soccer cleats.", "y": "hey, so i talked to robin. i guess she and max hooked up last night."}, {"x": "nice! i love that guy. max is both his name and his level of awesomeness.", "y": "yeah. he's a sweet guy. she feels really comfortable with him. they bonded over hockey. i guess he has a small penis, but they want to double-date next weekend."}, {"x": "why would you tell me that?", "y": "so you'll clear your schedule."}, {"x": "no! the other part!", "y": "oh, the small penis thing?"}, {"x": "ah! don't! stop saying that! why do you keep saying that? you... i don't want to know that. i'm not going to be able to look the guy in the eye. i'm certainly not going to be able to call him \"max.\"", "y": "that's insane. i mean, just because you know max has a small penis..."}, {"x": "told him what?", "y": "max has a small penis."}, {"x": "girls talk about everything.", "y": "size, shape, left or right leaning orientation..."}, {"x": "how can you speak of such things?", "y": "you're kidding. barney, every time i mention a woman you don't know, the first thing you say is, \"boobs?\" not the complete sentence, \"does she have big boobs?\" which also would not be great. just \"boobs?\""}, {"x": "i do not do that.", "y": "my friend lori from work..."}, {"x": "boobs? damn it. but... seriously. boobs?", "y": "so why is it okay for guys to talk about boobs, but the moment we bring up a topic like max's small penis... i'm gonna pretend this conversation never happened."}, {"x": "and marshall never would've listened to the indigo girls if it weren't for lily.", "y": "um, i think you got that backwards there, chief."}, {"x": "thanks.", "y": "damn, baby, be cool!"}, {"x": "locker room talk. do you want to know what it's like in a men's locker room?", "y": "are you suggesting that guys don't talk about sex?"}, {"x": "thank god that i'm not dating. if i thought that lily talked in that much detail about our sex life, i'd probably k*ll myself. oh, no. what did you tell her?", "y": "oh, nothing. we don't talk about you!"}, {"x": "yeah.", "y": "ugh, he thinks i like this...but it feels disgusting."}, {"x": "uh, is this working for you?", "y": "\"uh, is this working for you?\""}, {"x": "oh, of course, because what woman doesn't like being slobbered on while some giant paws at her nether regions like lenny from of mice and men?", "y": "oh, you're bad."}, {"x": "i can't... i can't do this! i can't stop thinking about you and robin!", "y": "oh, i've had that a couple times. just lean into it and let it fuel things."}, {"x": "i don't recall saying snakes.", "y": "then he gets this panicked look on his face, says, \"i can't do this,\" and storms out."}, {"x": "wow, that is weird.", "y": "but here's the crazier part."}, {"x": "wow. so he's right there making you say all this, huh?", "y": "yup. \"'you're like a greek god, i moaned, as the...\" i can't read that, baby."}, {"x": "\"musky scent of man.\"", "y": "\"as the musky scent of man and marshall's sure-footed traction intoxicated and overpowered me.\""}, {"x": "stuart, you are so... that's not gonna be us, right? i mean, how hard can it be to name a baby?", "y": "right? i mean, just look at her. yeah. she's clearly a..."}, {"x": "emily.", "y": "lisa."}, {"x": "lisa?!", "y": "emily?!"}, {"x": "then i'm also crossing off, um, \"shaquille\"... mm-hmm. \"hakeem,\" and \"dikembe.\" hey, what about \"rob\"?", "y": "\"rob\"? no."}, {"x": "why not?", "y": "hey, rob. what are you gonna make? a turkey?"}, {"x": "honka, honka!", "y": "not \"rob.\""}, {"x": "ooh.", "y": "not \"ryan.\""}, {"x": "\"johnny?\"", "y": "not \"johnny.\" or \"gil.\""}, {"x": "\"jeremy.\"", "y": "definitely not \"jeremy.\" his stuff was so derivative."}, {"x": "becky. my new co-anchor? don't you guys ever watch the show?", "y": "oh, honey, i really try."}, {"x": "you want the long version or the short version?", "y": "short version."}, {"x": "short version. who's your daddy?", "y": "you know, when you think about that, that phrase is really creepy."}, {"x": "i, barney stinson, will pick up a girl whilst talking like a little boy.", "y": "okay. here's my list of baby names."}, {"x": "oh.", "y": "what about \"tara\"?"}, {"x": "not \"tara.\"", "y": "what about \"esther\"?"}, {"x": "mm, i just need two seconds, baby.", "y": "i know you think that's a compliment, but i'd rather you took your time."}, {"x": "let's make a baby!", "y": "whoa! baby, you're packing snowballs, and your breath smells like a mermaid fart."}, {"x": "loving the dirty talk-- but you know what's even hotter? if we face this-a-way. ooh, we're bad.", "y": "wait... hey, baby, why are you facing me north? you're trying to make us have a boy."}, {"x": "you're trying to make us have a girl! you are trying to make us have a girl.", "y": "all my least favorite students have been boys. so i googled \"how to make a girl some really weird stuff came up but finally, i found this conception web site that said you should point south at the moment of conception... eat a lemon......and heat up your lady parts to a balmy 105 degrees. ooh... ah... oh, that's not bad."}, {"x": "lily, how could you do... exactly the same thing i did? you're supposed to be the sane one.", "y": "see that? another boy expecting a woman to clean up his mistakes. that's why girls are way better than boys."}, {"x": "oh, really. well, then how come whenever there's a creepy kid in a horror movie it's always a little girl? or twin girls, who speak... in unison.", "y": "oh, well, what about chucky?"}, {"x": "i got this.", "y": "oh, so you finally agreed on a name?"}, {"x": "esther? that's beautiful.", "y": "we're idiots."}, {"x": "baby, names and gender, it's just, like... it's some way of giving ourselves the illusion that we have any control whatsoever. i- i just want a healthy, happy, 12-pound--", "y": "whoa."}, {"x": "ten-pound? eight-pound?", "y": "i guess, but, dude, you're writing checks my vag*na can't cash."}, {"x": "i love you. and i'm gonna love the crap out of whatever baby we have.", "y": "me, too."}, {"x": "jamie.", "y": "marshall... we just named our baby. jamie."}, {"x": "you're the coolest, professor mosby. well, hot dog.", "y": "did it hurt?"}, {"x": "what?", "y": "getting that kid's nose surgically removed from your ass."}, {"x": "robin. that's it, yeah. is she gonna be here? oh, not that i really care.", "y": "robin has another party to go to."}, {"x": "no! damn it! i'm leaving.", "y": "but she might stop by later."}, {"x": "there she is florence night-in-bed-with-a-stranger.", "y": "so, who's the lucky patient?"}, {"x": "period.", "y": "just tell me who you slept with!"}, {"x": "lily, i don't want to get into it, okay?", "y": "aha, it's someone we know. if it was some ding dong we didn't know, you'd just give me his name."}, {"x": "fine. it's bill pepper.", "y": "bill pepper? mm-hmm. kind of a coincidence there happens to be a bill and a pepper shaker here on the table. any chance you and bill had a three-way with fork napkin? it's someone we know!"}, {"x": "i lost them.", "y": "look, you're new at teaching. in my kindergarten class, i have had plenty of troublesome students. like johnny marley..."}, {"x": "we're familiar with it.", "y": "well, when a kid like johnny acts up in my class..."}, {"x": "lily, my students are adults, and i treat them that way. i'll just give them more candy and make them a mix cd. problem solved.", "y": "oh, baby, what's wrong?"}, {"x": "marshall popped his cherry! oh! come on, marshall, you have to admit, the guy was a disaster. i mean, it reflected badly on the company. he was an embarrassment. a huge embarrassment.", "y": "you slept with randy!"}, {"x": "what?!", "y": "why, it's elementary, my dear scherbatson."}, {"x": "no!!", "y": "it's okay, baby."}, {"x": "no. i was returning a hot dog costume that you all enjoyed.", "y": "and did it work?"}, {"x": "uh-oh. i know that smile. lily, there's no easy way to say this. marshall's dead. randy m*rder*d him.", "y": "no. i know why randy is smiling. you're smiling because of robin."}, {"x": "i'm trying to eat here, buddy.", "y": "no. because you slept with her on halloween."}, {"x": "what? no. i went home, had a shower an-and went to bed.", "y": "you didn't sleep with her?"}, {"x": "no. even in the shower, the farthest we ever get is hugging.", "y": "so why are you smiling?"}, {"x": "speaking of pickups, can we try the first one again?", "y": "hello."}, {"x": "it didn't work. they hate me. how do i get them to like me again?", "y": "you don't. ted, you're their teacher. the only people that like their teachers..."}, {"x": "i like my teachers.", "y": "...are dorks. except for you, miles. ted, you just have to learn to embrace their hatred. because behind that hatred lies fear. and you can use use that fear, like i did with johnny marley."}, {"x": "was there more to that story?", "y": "a little bit."}, {"x": "lily, you're a psychopath.", "y": "a little bit. oh, a panda!"}, {"x": "anyone not in class tomorrow gets an \"f.\"", "y": "you said that?"}, {"x": "well, technically, they'd get an incomplete, but i thought \"f\" had a nice, scary ring to it. right?", "y": "yeah."}, {"x": "hey, guys.", "y": "robin, who'd you sleep with?"}, {"x": "i told you-- randy. he was a machine.", "y": "where's the poop, robin?"}, {"x": "i wish i knew you guys back then. you know why? because you can't kick a story in the nuts.", "y": "hey, we're still those people. one of these days, marshall's going to quit his job and go to work for the nrdc, and save the world, right, baby?"}, {"x": "absotively. but let's just remember, i mean, nobody's the same as they were in college. you know, it's like, i wear a suit to work every day.", "y": "well, yeah, but you wear it ironically, like ted's fanny pack."}, {"x": "next time we go to great adventure, you're carrying your own sunblock.", "y": "ooh! i love this exhibit. one time when i was a kid, this room was closed for cleaning, so i snuck under the rope."}, {"x": "challenge accepted.", "y": "wow. \"the future of goliath national bank\"?"}, {"x": "i know, it's so, uh... you know, i totally forgot to tell you, but, um, the other day, arthur offered me a five-year contract.", "y": "oh, well, don't turn him down here in public. i broke up with scooter at the prom. right before the picture, too."}, {"x": "sorry, sorry.", "y": "what do you mean, you're going to say yes?"}, {"x": "i-i want to keep working at gnb.", "y": "but i thought that you..."}, {"x": "guys, guys, guys? architecture fun fact if you stand right here, and you whisper, a person all the way across the other end of the room hears it like you're standing right next to them. it's one of the most sophisticated pieces of acoustical design in the world. watch. diarrhea. right? right?", "y": "but a five-year contract. i thought you hated gnb."}, {"x": "down where? to the yacht club? oh! i would love to. w-w-wait. i'm half jewish, will that be a problem?", "y": "so what about becoming an environmental lawyer? what about saving the world?"}, {"x": "wieners and gonads.", "y": "what would college you say if he heard what you were saying right now?"}, {"x": "we all change, lily. you know, you don't spell \"women\" with a \"y\" anymore. and i'm okay with that. and you need to be okay with the fact that i may never become an environmental lawyer.", "y": "so how long have you felt this way?"}, {"x": "oh, please, what's your biggest problem? having to sail back to the marina because the captain's all out of white zin? oh. great. now you're crying. like that's going to get my sympathy.", "y": "you've known about this for two and a half years? so every time you've talked about wanting to be an environmental lawyer since then, that was a lie."}, {"x": "technically, i never lied. you asked me questions, and i responded with made-up words.", "y": "what?"}, {"x": "affirmatootly.", "y": "and become an environmental lawyer?"}, {"x": "yepskerdoodles.", "y": "hey, by the way, do you like this scarf?"}, {"x": "lawyered.", "y": "okay, that's also a made-up word."}, {"x": "oh, god, i have been craving this burger all day.", "y": "do you know what plays a huge role in helping a woman conceive? cervical mucus."}, {"x": "oh, my god, i can't wait to see this movie. i hear it's really scary.", "y": "oh, change of plans. i thought violent images wouldn't be good for my future fetus, so instead, i rented this video of a live water birth."}, {"x": "they don't know what it is. it just showed up on my mom's x-ray.", "y": "look at this crib."}, {"x": "sweet! i get that a lot. well, once.", "y": "hey, robin, do you want to go get a korean massage on saturday?"}, {"x": "oh, i'd love to. i've got this knot in my neck that's so annoying.", "y": "yeah, i figured i should get one now because once i get pregnant, no more massages. just so annoying."}, {"x": "barney, you know what? if you're going to be disgusting, we're not watching this, okay?", "y": "yeah. come on, barney. it's just a cute little story about... what exactly is this about?"}, {"x": "brace for turbulence!", "y": "oh. oh. i have to say, as much as i hate to agree with barney, this does seem to be a veritable p*rn."}, {"x": "i'm sorry. we got to ration this. it's like we're on a desert island, and this video is a really hot, naked chick, and she's got, like, seaweed on her and a seashell bra. you all feel me?", "y": "hey, if you and jessica are bffs, how come we've never met her?"}, {"x": "okay, well, it was a long time ago, okay? i get a christmas card from her every year, but we're not really friends anymore.", "y": "but bffs are forever."}, {"x": "we are just two peas.", "y": "i don't get it. how can you and glitter just stop being friends? best friends don't do that."}, {"x": "well, we did, okay? and i haven't talked to her in, like, five years, so just drop it. i got to go.", "y": "whoa. what do you think came between robin and jessica?"}, {"x": "much like our friends, the space teens, i think i can solve this crime with math. okay... okay, here is a christmas card that jessica sent robin. lily, how old would you say that kid is?", "y": "four years, three months."}, {"x": "that's got to be it, right, lil? lil?", "y": "robin's gonna dump me!"}, {"x": "okay, one night. got to go.", "y": "where are you going? we just got here."}, {"x": "oh, a korean massage.", "y": "by yourself?"}, {"x": "well, i figured you'd be busy, reading what to expect when you're expecting to expect.", "y": "guys, did you see that? she's going to a korean massage without me. that's our thing. i'm telling you, she's gonna dump me, just like she dumped glitter."}, {"x": "look, lily. robin is clearly getting tired of you constantly talking about babies.", "y": "i don't."}, {"x": "lily, how old am i?", "y": "384 months."}, {"x": "hey, lily, what brings you to the crib?", "y": "crib..."}, {"x": "what's the matter? you look rattled.", "y": "rattled? i want to talk about babies."}, {"x": "what?", "y": "look, i know you don't care about this stuff, but i'm about to become a mother. and as a future mother, i'm gonna need the support..."}, {"x": "oh, my god! you're not even pregnant yet.", "y": "what's that supposed to mean?"}, {"x": "it means that a fertilized egg has not yet attached itself to the lining of your uterine wall. you see? i read your facebook updates. god, it's like it's all you ever talk about, lily, and i'm sick of it!", "y": "well, guess what? i've got some good news. when that baby comes, you don't have to see it. in fact, you don't have to see me. this whole friendship thing? done."}, {"x": "great.", "y": "great."}, {"x": "for crying out loud. you broke up with robin?", "y": "i had to. we were growing apart, and we're better off without each other."}, {"x": "okay, lily, you sound about as convincing as you did the time you \"accidentally\" shredded my joey buttafuoco pants.", "y": "no!"}, {"x": "get on the phone, call robin and fix this.", "y": "i can't. the damage is done. can you just hold me?"}, {"x": "you know what? no. i don't agree with what you did, and so i refuse to comfort you, despite how adorable you are when you cry.", "y": "okay."}, {"x": "yeah, he's gotta go.", "y": "what are we doing in madison square garden?"}, {"x": "okay, you refused to talk to robin. so i thought that you might like to talk to... the organist for the new york rangers. jessica glitter?!", "y": "how did you find glitter?"}, {"x": "so, is this the one who's best friends with robin now?", "y": "more like ex-best friends. just like you."}, {"x": "i'm sorry to hear that. i miss robin.", "y": "yeah, well, marshall and i are about to get pregnant, and i know she stopped being friends with you when you had a baby, so..."}, {"x": "oh, robin didn't stop being friends with me. i stopped being friends with her.", "y": "what? why?"}, {"x": "charge!", "y": "wow. you dumped her just because you had a baby? that's cold."}, {"x": "didn't you do the same thing? minus the baby?", "y": "oh, god. i gotta go. i gotta go apologize to robin. i- i need to tell her i love her, and that she'll always be a priority."}, {"x": "instead of stuffing, i'm going to fill the turkey with... a slightly smaller turkey. it's called a turturkeykey!", "y": "a turturkeykey?"}, {"x": "...to me.", "y": "the gentleman!"}, {"x": "wait! wait! wait! what's that? what's \"the gentleman\"?", "y": "oh, you had to be there, blitz. yes."}, {"x": "how could you, my best friends in the world, hang out with my mortal enemy, then let her sleep in the tub where i clean myself?!", "y": "sorry, ted. we can explain. after you blitzed out last night..."}, {"x": "i'm not the blitz!", "y": "huh? huh? who's got your back? now let's have dinner!"}, {"x": "finish the story, red.", "y": "okay, well, we all started brainstorming ways to mess with her. there were a lot of different ideas kicking around."}, {"x": "wait... ted doesn't like that girl?", "y": "okay. wh...? well, i got it. you see that silk scarf? i'm going to steal it."}, {"x": "can i... help you?", "y": "yeah. yeah! my name is lily aldrin. i'm a friend of ted mosby's, so you better..."}, {"x": "you're lily aldrin? the painter?!", "y": "well, yeah."}, {"x": "you're amazing! i bought a bunch of your paintings online.", "y": "that was you?!"}, {"x": "yeah.", "y": "oh! thanks!"}, {"x": "i missed a skateboarding dog?", "y": "yeah, but that wasn't the crazy part."}, {"x": "what? no! n- n-n-n-no! n-n-no! i'm not the blitz! the only thing i missed last night was my best friends stabbing me in the back by hanging out with my worst enemy. guys! i hate zoey! that means you're supposed to hate her, too! th-that's your rule, lily!", "y": "i tried."}, {"x": "tried?! lily, do you have any idea how many people i've blindly hated for you? i hated ren\u00e9e zellweger with a burning passion for eight years, only to discover you meant reese witherspoon!", "y": "hey, i will hate her until i get my money back for you, me and dupree!"}, {"x": "that's kate hudson!", "y": "oh, yeah. that's who i hate. guys, we hate kate hudson."}, {"x": "full disclosure. we also used all your butter, greasing up lily so we could see how far we could slide her down the hall.", "y": "but if it helps, i reached 4g."}, {"x": "hey, you guys should come to my house for thanksgiving. my husband always spends it with his daughter, so i'm going to be alone anyway.", "y": "could we bring ted?"}, {"x": "no. absolutely not.", "y": "come on. give her a chance."}, {"x": "zoey.", "y": "best friend alert!"}, {"x": "wow. you sent a wang out, and you got a wang back.", "y": "it's a boom-a-wang."}, {"x": "nice.", "y": "thank you."}, {"x": "what happened?", "y": "you missed it!"}, {"x": "oh... i'm sorry, lily. i'm just never going to like that woman.", "y": "ted, give her a chance."}, {"x": "he's bold and uninhibited, so why not? and guys, you know what? for fun, why don't we ask him what he does for a living? wouldn't that be fun? just ask...", "y": "aww. you've got a little crush on wang guy, don't you?"}, {"x": "yeah, well, you started it.", "y": "just stop it! god, can't you two just stop fighting for one day? like, when the roadrunner and the coyote clocked out and had a beer together? or-or-or tom and jerry shared a cup of coffee."}, {"x": "oh, get out. all of you, out!", "y": "but it's thanksgiving."}, {"x": "out!", "y": "i don't get it. why'd she just kick us out like that?"}, {"x": "lily, where'd you get that?", "y": "oh. when zoey booted us, it made me want to steal something of hers again. apartment full of designer labels, and what do i grab? \"happy turkey day, hannah. love, zoey.\" i wonder who hannah is."}, {"x": "great. okay. hey, guys, zoey just told me about this great frank lloyd wright retrospective tonight. who's in?", "y": "sorry, i'm, uh, i... i- i don't know, washing my hair."}, {"x": "all right, fine. guess it'll just be me and zoey.", "y": "oh, wait. just the two of you? tread lightly, mosby. any time a single guy hangs out with a married woman, there are rules that must be followed. rule number one..."}, {"x": "don't use the husband's condoms. that's just rude.", "y": "rule number one don't go anywhere that has candles."}, {"x": "excuse me, captain, how do you feel about ted and zoey having an intimate chat by candlelight? it'll be the last dinner they ever have.", "y": "rule number two no sharing food. in fact, anything involving saliva is off-limits. toothbrushes, thermometers, lipstick."}, {"x": "well, if i can't share her lipstick,there's really no pointin even going.", "y": "and the most important rule of all..."}, {"x": "please.", "y": "no lying to the spouse about anything you do."}, {"x": "no doubt, robo cop.", "y": "you two never hang out alone. you just made up those nicknames right now."}, {"x": "well, let's. let's have dinner together, just the two of us.", "y": "oh! sweet. no candles."}, {"x": "lily, i guess that leaves just you and me. want to hang?", "y": "nah."}, {"x": "friends. plural. like-like there was more than one of me.", "y": "ew! ew! she lied to her husband? uh-oh. so, what did you do?"}, {"x": "it's totally okay.", "y": "it's not okay! i didn't really think it was okay! pur-leez! you lie to your husband all the time. \"uh, uh, that shirt looks great on you\"\"i love your mom\"\"i never fantasize about barney when we're doing it\"\" sound familiar, pinocchio?"}, {"x": "lily, ruling. do i have to stop hanging out with zoey?", "y": "no, you just need to spend time with her and the captain together. if you're friends with the both of them, then there's not a problem."}, {"x": "actually, i do have a standing invitation from the captain to go for a ride with them on his boat.", "y": "great. so go make nice with captain creepy, and problem solved."}, {"x": "oh, so many drinks.", "y": "barney."}, {"x": "save it, lily. i am still mad at you for... something, and for that other thing.", "y": "look, i'm sorry i hurt your feelings. but let's be honest. you've been super sensitive lately."}, {"x": "no, i haven't! god, how can you say that?!", "y": "watch out!"}, {"x": "oh! wow. thanks, lily. you saved me. you saved us. look, i know you didn't mean whatever it was you said that made me so mad.", "y": "i think i probably didn't."}, {"x": "so, ted, i noticed you've been spending a lot of time with zoey.", "y": "seriously? i step away for five seconds, and you eat all my onion rings? no surprise there."}, {"x": "what's that supposed to mean? are you calling me fat? if there is one thing you never do, it is call a woman fat right to her face!", "y": "want to hang?"}, {"x": "nah. watch out!", "y": "wow... thanks, barney. you saved me. you saved us."}, {"x": "oh, lily, i'm sorry. hey, you want to see a magic trick?", "y": "you're a jerk."}, {"x": "high heels chafe my shoulders. but you don't have to worry about that anymore. ever since you got pregnant, you're just a big fat manatee.", "y": "well, you're a big... stupid octopus face!"}, {"x": "i'm sorry, lily. hey, you want to see a magic trick?", "y": "oh... you're a jerk."}, {"x": "hey. hey, wait. come on. i was kid... wait, wait, wait! there's another addendum to the mermaid theory. a pregnant woman who's become a manatee can become a mermaid again through one simple act.", "y": "what's that?"}, {"x": "breast-feeding. hot.", "y": "really?"}, {"x": "really. when those things swell up to three times their normal size... so do i.", "y": "that's so sweet!"}, {"x": "this is taking forever. are you sure you did it right?", "y": "is there a wrong way to pee on a stick?"}, {"x": "hey, can i ask you a question that's plagued me for years? can girls aim?", "y": "um, can boys aim? 'cause it seems to me like i'm taking a mop to that bathroom floor every two days."}, {"x": "okay, you're the one who put the far side calendar up over the toilet. you know i laugh with my whole body.", "y": "it's been two minutes."}, {"x": "one, two, three.", "y": "it's positive."}, {"x": "it's positive? it's positive.", "y": "i'm pregnant."}, {"x": "well, so could heads or tails. the first currency rotation specialist went on to be a semi-finalist on the bachelor, and then, she lost, like, a hundred pounds on the biggest loser, and now she's totally winning celebrity rehab.", "y": "i'm pregnant."}, {"x": "marshall and lily. i just realized that i am about to have a little niece who looks up to me. and i don't want to be sad aunt robin, the aging coin flip bimbo who gives her the creeps. i want to be cool aunt robin, the respected journalist... who gives her beer.", "y": "what?"}, {"x": "thirty?!", "y": "i'm pregnant."}, {"x": "where the hell are marshall and lily?", "y": "i'm pregnant."}, {"x": "this is great. i'm happy. i'm so happy, my heart's pounding. and i'm sweating. and i can't breathe. this is what happiness feels like, right? oh, crap. lily's having a baby and i'm having a panic att*ck. i hope she can't tell what i'm thinking right now.", "y": "i can. and i'm freaking out, too! there's an alien growing in my stomach that's gonna explode out of my vag*na!"}, {"x": "they're totally onto us. what do we do?", "y": "just keep smiling, maybe wave. no, don't wave! that makes no sense!"}, {"x": "i'm committed. i'm riding this wave straight to hell.", "y": "let's leave, then the waving will make sense."}, {"x": "lily, we have to relax. there's no need to panic. true, there's a lot to do, but we've got nine months to prepare. so i say that we just make a list of everything that needs to get done before the baby arrives and do everything on that list tonight!", "y": "let's do it! uh-huh, got it. okay, that seems easy."}, {"x": "nursery's painted!", "y": "blue? what if it's a girl?"}, {"x": "damn it!", "y": "oh, god, it's 800! we're supposed to meet the g*ng at the bar to celebrate."}, {"x": "oh, god. okay, listen. when we meet them, we have to keep it together. can you keep it together?!", "y": "no, i can't keep it together!"}, {"x": "this is a nightmare! we've done everything wrong!", "y": "the ipod was on shuffle! the jerky boys! our baby heard the jerky boys!"}, {"x": "you know what, the jerky boys are funny.", "y": "the jerky boys aren't funny, they are awful."}, {"x": "you know what, fine, if you don't think the jerky boys are funny, then i'm not sure that i can raise a child with you, liver lips.", "y": "marshall, i don't like this."}, {"x": "yeah. huge bummer.", "y": "so disappointing."}, {"x": "are you guys okay?", "y": "huh? yeah. why wouldn't we be? oh, the baby thing."}, {"x": "oh, yeah, whatever. oh, christmas-themed movie snack. nice.", "y": "don't reach into the living room!"}, {"x": "oh. you know, we're actually kind of relieved. we were freaking out for about a day and a half there.", "y": "yeah, this whole thing got us thinking. maybe we're not ready for kids yet after all."}, {"x": "we're idiots.", "y": "this kid doesn't stand a chance."}, {"x": "we're ready for this.", "y": "we're ready for this."}, {"x": "you sure?", "y": "positive."}, {"x": "and how long have you been trying?", "y": "six days."}, {"x": "and everywhere... the kitchen, the bathroom, the living room, outside in your wait... the kitchen.", "y": "seriously, doc, why isn't this happening?"}, {"x": "dr. john stangel? i don't know, baby, do we really need a specialist?", "y": "well, what's your plan, marshall, just have unprotected sex day after day after day in every position imaginable until...? wait, it sounded worse in my head."}, {"x": "and marshall's the winner.", "y": "well, i'm gonna call dr. stangel. it can't hurt."}, {"x": "yeah, and it cuts in and out.", "y": "ooh! how did you do it?"}, {"x": "oh, god, you found one of the cameras. i swear that's the only one. wait, which one did you find?", "y": "what are you talking about?"}, {"x": "what are you talking about?", "y": "my visit to a certain dr. stangel."}, {"x": "we'll look at all the factors that contribute to fertility dietary, environmental, genetic. but first, ms. aldrin, do you have any questions for me?", "y": "just one, \"dr. stangel\". where'd you get the beard?"}, {"x": "lily, i've been with barney since 900 a.m. between the sexual harassment seminar all morning and the secretary beauty pageant all afternoon, he hasn't left my sight.", "y": "wait, so you weren't wearing a fake beard and examining girl parts all day?"}, {"x": "wow, we finally found barney's doppelganger. i guess we can tell you now, lily. that hot dog guy did not look like barney.", "y": "uh, marshall?"}, {"x": "yes, i know, we made our little deal with the universe, but...", "y": "no, we've made a binding covenant with the universe. we said we weren't going to try to have kids until we saw barney's doppelganger. oh, this is bad news. this is like a black cat walked through my uterus. okay, that's it. i am going back to dr. stangel and getting thoroughly checked out."}, {"x": "or... or cost-saving alternative you could get checked out by someone who looks just like him. i'm gonna go scrub up. i'll meet you in stall three.", "y": "i still kind of think it's barney."}, {"x": "all right, ms. aldrin, please just put your feet up in the stirrups. we can begin.", "y": "uh-uh, no. can't do it."}, {"x": "okay, you have to go. leave the model of the vag*na.", "y": "okay. convinced."}, {"x": "great. all right, you're a little low on the table. please scoot up.", "y": "\"suit up\"... not convinced. this whole thing stinks to high heaven."}, {"x": "baby, you just saw barney.", "y": "he could have pulled some crazy switch. remember when his swedish cousin came to visit?"}, {"x": "oh, yeah... bjorney.", "y": "yeah, i'm sorry, but unless i see barney at the same time, i... i'll never be sure that dr. stangel isn't him."}, {"x": "okay, we're all done. i'll call you in a few days with the results.", "y": "thank you."}, {"x": "hey, you don't mind if i take pictures, do you?!", "y": "can we leave him in here for a while?"}, {"x": "hey, babe.", "y": "hi, honey. there's a couple messages on the machine. your dad called. he wants to know if you have any sixes."}, {"x": "yeah, uh, we got a game of \"go fish\" going on the phone. p.s., pops, go fish. who's the second message from?", "y": "dr. stangel's office. i'm extremely fertile."}, {"x": "you're extremely fertile! oh, my god. i told you there was nothing to worry about. i got to call my dad and tell him the good news. if you're fertile, um, then that means i'm the problem.", "y": "okay, now you're being ridiculous. an hour ago, you didn't even think there was a problem."}, {"x": "so, second day of work?", "y": "what's wrong?"}, {"x": "oh, you didn't hear? she's the office slut.", "y": "already? oh, honey."}, {"x": "go fish. excuse me. hey, lily, can i just talk to you in here for a minute?", "y": "oh, yeah. isn't it great? they just showed up. your mom's already rearranged my kitchen, organized my closet... and she asked me if i lost height. not weight. height."}, {"x": "yeah, i'm very excited that they're here, too. but right now, i have to get excited about something else.", "y": "oh, okay. well, i'll go handle your parents. and you handle your, well... wait, wait, wait. marshall."}, {"x": "i'm... i'm going to... i'm... i'm going to...", "y": "he's going to masturbate."}, {"x": "lily!", "y": "marshall, just tell them what's going on."}, {"x": "this is the toughest time in marshall's life and i feel absolutely useless. what can we do to help?", "y": "don't look at me. this morning marshall said, \"i have to pee.\" and i, \"don't worry, baby, i'll do it for you.\" halfway through the pee, i'm, like, \"this doesn't even make sense!\""}, {"x": "be cool, nerds!", "y": "marshall's mom hasn't eaten, slept or sat down since we got here. wait! that can be my role! i'll take care of judy!"}, {"x": "sweet save.", "y": "okay, yes, judy and i aren't besties, but today, whatever she needs, i'm there. i'm on judy duty."}, {"x": "uh, outlet. thank you. oh...", "y": "wow, you really do have everything in there, don't you?"}, {"x": "all that stuff was really nice!", "y": "yeah! it's positive racism!"}, {"x": "oh, my god.", "y": "what is it?"}, {"x": "i have a voice mail from my dad.", "y": "you have a voice mail from your dad?"}, {"x": "my phone's been out of juice, so he must've called me the day the he, uh...", "y": "baby, are you okay?"}, {"x": "what if it's worse than crocodile dundee iii? i can't do this. i can't... my mom is about to collapse. i'm gonna...", "y": "wait-- no, no, baby... baby, i got it. let me."}, {"x": "you heard right. i'm getting a reputation. so, what you need, mama? come here.", "y": "guys, listen to what just happened."}, {"x": "whoa. are you okay?", "y": "listen!"}, {"x": "well, but this day is tough on you, too. you sure you can absorb all that?", "y": "yeah! robin gave me a little orange pill from her purse. i don't know what's in it, but things are flowin' pretty smooth right now."}, {"x": "i couldn't listen to it. guys, this is hard.", "y": "we know, baby. but you'll always wonder, if you don't. your dad loved you. it almost doesn't matter what he said."}, {"x": "lawyered. lily?", "y": "hello."}, {"x": "lily, it's dad. listen, i'm sort of in jail for not paying taxes for the last 25 years. ut bright side, i thought of a great new board game. \"tax evasion\", ages six to ten. which is, ironically, what i might be looking at. anyway, pumpkin, i need $15,000.", "y": "fooled ya. leave a message after the beep. we'll get back to ya. beep."}, {"x": "judy, i...", "y": "i did it."}, {"x": "what possible excuse could you have for this?", "y": "i'm from new york. we think getting minors drunk is funny."}, {"x": "there's nothing funny about getting minors drunk! you should be ashamed, lily! ashamed! mmm! oh, cripes, that's tasty. mmm! mmm!", "y": "that salad's the first food she's eaten in two days. sure, it's mostly cheese, mayonnaise and jelly beans, but it counts."}, {"x": "doesn't hold a candle to your crocodile dundee thing.", "y": "you're up next, baby."}, {"x": "i just need some air.", "y": "baby, are you okay?"}, {"x": "i have to listen to it. it's a pocket dial. it's nothing.", "y": "hey, so it's a pocket dial. you have so many great memories with your dad. who cares about the last one?"}, {"x": "marshall? oh, looks like i've been calling you for almost five minutes. how's my pocket sound? oh, sorry about that, buddy. um, anyway, your mom and i had such a great time seeing you. i love you.", "y": "looks like your dad came through one last time."}, {"x": "thanks.", "y": "for what?"}, {"x": "i know what you've been doing today. and i really needed it.", "y": "any time."}, {"x": "it's okay. we got hot dogs.", "y": "yeah, and it's not like you can screw up a hot dog. oh, god. this is so good. i'm gonna finish it in the bathroom."}, {"x": "does anyone know why we're here?", "y": "yeah, who called this intervention?"}, {"x": "i did. it's for me. this is about the coffee breath.", "y": "finally."}, {"x": "it's because i'm in love with zoey, and she's married, so it needs to stop. and... intervene.", "y": "are you sure it's love?"}, {"x": "isn't that a little harsh?", "y": "harsh? robin, a single guy and a married woman cannot be friends if one's in love with the other."}, {"x": "fine. i'll shut 'em down.", "y": "and seriously, mouthwash after coffee."}, {"x": "oh. hey, buddy, that's lily. i should take that. but, uh, you're a good guy, ted. hey, baby.", "y": "we hate ted now. get on board or the sexting stops."}, {"x": "ted's a son of a bitch! oh, nice. but, hey, um, baby, go easy on ted, okay? he just, he just ended things with zoey.", "y": "oh, i know. but did he tell you the whole story?"}, {"x": "you hate me?", "y": "that's crazy. i don't hate you."}, {"x": "well, i know that's not true, lily. ted told me everything.", "y": "he... oh, really? and-and what did ted say, exactly?"}, {"x": "difficult stuff? what difficult stuff?", "y": "i don't know."}, {"x": "well, you did the right thing, baby.", "y": "not entirely."}, {"x": "and that's robin on the other line.", "y": "oh, well, i'll let you take that. love you, baby!"}, {"x": "total booty-call.", "y": "private booty, reporting for duty."}, {"x": "guys booty-call girls after 200 a.m. with a drunkenly slurred, \"what ya doing?\" but when a lady booty-calls a guy, she invents a respectable excuse to mask the fact that she wants to get stuck real good.", "y": "it's called class, ted."}, {"x": "wait. that... you think that's what she means by \"baking cookies\"?", "y": "are you kidding? you're in the kitchen, it's getting hot, you start licking stuff off each others' fingers. before you know it, she's bent over the marble island, and you're spanking her with a rubber spatula. and she's screaming, \"stop, marshall, stop,\" but that's just code for \"harder!\""}, {"x": "marshall's been in minnesota a while, huh?", "y": "so long! and now he's staying even longer. his mom has been having a really hard time since the funeral. he's waiting on her hand and foot. but... it's valentine's day. it's not going to be the same without the two of us watching predator together."}, {"x": "you know, i saw this in the theater, like, five times, but i never got to see it with the right girl.", "y": "i'm so glad none of those girls were right for you."}, {"x": "wow, you sound really lonely.", "y": "i am. earlier today, i burst into tears..."}, {"x": "and none was taken until just then.", "y": "i decided to go to minnesota to see marshall. he shouldn't have to help his mom through this rough time all by himself."}, {"x": "you losing your mind, being alone in your apartment?", "y": "i'm getting weird!"}, {"x": "hey. how was \"baking cookies\" last night?", "y": "you brought an overnight bag?"}, {"x": "this is such a nice surprise. marshall will be so happy.", "y": "how are you holding up, judy?"}, {"x": "hey, mom? i hate to be that guy, but i'm pretty sure it was hot pocket o'clock, like, ten minutes ago. lily. what are you doing here?", "y": "i wanted to surprise you."}, {"x": "aw... anything for my baby bear. get him out of my house. take marshall back to new york with you. please, i am begging you.", "y": "i thought he was here helping you."}, {"x": "well, he was, at first. but once he saw me starting to do better, he kind of regressed. he's been holed up in his room for days at a time, playing old video games. i mean, he is having a pretty sick dr. mario run, but...", "y": "uh, i'll talk to him."}, {"x": "i want to be there for him, but it's like he's a teenager again. i even walked in on him abusing himself.", "y": "oh, god."}, {"x": "right. okay.", "y": "um, marshall, your mom asked me to carry this up. she turned her ankle on your hot wheels. is my track okay? it's fine, but, marshall, i thought you were here taking care of your mom. it seems like she's taking care of you."}, {"x": "she needs this.", "y": "marshall, tomorrow's valentine's. don't you want to be at home on our couch, cuddling up under a warm blanket, watching the predator use his heat vision to stalk helpless prey?"}, {"x": "well, baby, we could watch predator here. no, my mom can go rent it for us after she's done digging out the car.", "y": "marshall, your mom wants you out of here."}, {"x": "heavens to bess, no! of course not!", "y": "but, judy, you said..."}, {"x": "gerard is real!", "y": "ted... i thought you were going to talk to marshall about coming back to new york."}, {"x": "my elbow slipped!", "y": "marshall, i'm going home."}, {"x": "what?", "y": "i'm flying out tonight before the big storm, and i want you to come with me."}, {"x": "i can't right now, 'cause my mom needs me.", "y": "while i'm sure it's been really helpful for her to have you here playing super mario kart for 14 hours a day..."}, {"x": "hell, yeah.", "y": "but your mom doesn't need you. your life in new york needs you. it needs you really bad."}, {"x": "baby, don't go.", "y": "please come home soon."}, {"x": "i'm worried about marshall. he doesn't seem like himself lately.", "y": "yeah, he's been really... quiet."}, {"x": "like prince.", "y": "no, it's more than that. it's like, all the stuff he used to love, he suddenly has no interest in anymore."}, {"x": "oh. ha-wink", "y": "excuse me?"}, {"x": "lily, in my travels, i've developed a finely calibrated sense of how long it's been since... how do i not put this delicately?... a girl's been porked. and, boo, you've been pork-free so long, you're practically kosher.", "y": "it's been a while."}, {"x": "five weeks, three days by my estimation.", "y": "you should work at a carnival."}, {"x": "anyway, we should get going.", "y": "yeah, i'll walk out with you guys."}, {"x": "but \"l'amour\" means love! they're going to the cafe of love! i'm fine. it's fine. point is, robin, i don't even like nora. damn it!", "y": "oh, baby, why aren't you in bed?"}, {"x": "i can't sleep.", "y": "mmm. anything i can do to help you with that?"}, {"x": "maybe after this documentary on garbage.", "y": "man, i am losing my touch."}, {"x": "i have to save the planet!", "y": "is it over? i call on top."}, {"x": "baby, baby, i really got to work on this presentation.", "y": "oh, that's too bad, 'cause i was going to make a little presentation of my own."}, {"x": "okay, why not from now until tomorrow afternoon, i do this, and then tomorrow night, i do that.", "y": "deal. come on, come on."}, {"x": "don't poke the dragon, robin, 'cause the dragon will poke you back.", "y": "sex now, we'll do the foreplay after."}, {"x": "meeker got fired because of me. i'm the bad guy.", "y": "no, sweetie, just-just put all that out of your mind and relax. look, i got you a six-pack of tall boys from the deli."}, {"x": "hey, baby.", "y": "yeah?"}, {"x": "what happened to the plastic rings that held the six-pack together?", "y": "oh, i-i don't know. i threw them down the garbage chute. let's just use the handcuffs instead."}, {"x": "baby, birds can get caught in those and then they dwown in a sea of wubbish! weren't you listening? don't you care about garbage island?", "y": "marshall, right now, i don't give a wat's ass about garbage island."}, {"x": "well, i do. i got to find those rings!", "y": "cwap."}, {"x": "it's me. you're welcome.", "y": "okay, baby, what gives?"}, {"x": "i'm sorry, but neither of us are getting any action until i find those rings.", "y": "i hope this doesn't make me look desperate."}, {"x": "i'm just saying, the eggs are already broken. let's make sure we get a pretty good omelet out of it.", "y": "okay, marshall, seriously, what's going on?"}, {"x": "he'll never get to see how i turn out.", "y": "what do you mean?"}, {"x": "my dad. you know, i used to, um, i used to always tell him that i was gonna be an environmental lawyer. and he was always so proud of me for that. but he never got to see the version of me that was anything but a corporate stooge. and now it's too late. and we're starting a family, you know.", "y": "are you avoiding sleeping with me 'cause you don't want to start a family?"}, {"x": "lily, if we have a baby right now, that is just it for me. the cement will dry, and i will be stuck at gnb forever.", "y": "marshall, if you want to quit your job and go work for the nrdc right now, then you need to do that right now. and then, once you've cleaned up all the oceans and saved the planet... you know, like, a year from now... then we'll start a family."}, {"x": "i don't know. so far, in the name of saving the planet, i've ruined your night, i practically broke wendy's back and i got meeker fired. the guy must hate me.", "y": "meeker doesn't hate you."}, {"x": "hey. barney, let's go outside for a second.", "y": "we have a confession. this wasn't really about seeing ted's house. it's an intervention."}, {"x": "sure thing. luis. barney stinson, 12 h. i got a hundred bucks if you can be here in five. thanks.", "y": "you call the super for a screwdriver?"}, {"x": "yeah, what do you say after three decades of not seeing each other?", "y": "\"so, how 'bout those last 30 super bowls\"?"}, {"x": "so, all these years, there's this one question i've been dying to ask him.", "y": "why did you abandon me?"}, {"x": "this is going to be the second-most fun i've ever had on an asian leg.", "y": "barney, we... we know you're psyched, but just... be careful."}, {"x": "i hope barney's dad isn't just pretending to be something he's not, you know?", "y": "yeah. that would make jerry a real chamma-leeon."}, {"x": "you have gaps, too, lily.", "y": "you got nothing on me."}, {"x": "hey, lily, can you toss me a beer?", "y": "sure, honey."}, {"x": "you have terrible aim.", "y": "that's not true."}, {"x": "what? no, i... i'm a driving instructor up in white plains. and i need your help... barney won't return my calls.", "y": "what do you mean, barney won't return your calls? he said you two had an amazing night together."}, {"x": "you're all wearing matching sweaters. that's cute. look, i got to get going, jerry. but, uh, this was great. glad we did this.", "y": "we think you should give him another chance. that's the real reason we're out here. he lives ten minutes away."}, {"x": "well, i do love it. it's doing a nice job covering up that chair.", "y": "guess now we wait."}, {"x": "yikes! i'm surrounded by a bunch of dum-dums. good thing i don't have any gaps in my knowledge. i am perfect. oh, for the love of god, guys, enough already.", "y": "what, baby?"}, {"x": "that's not true.", "y": "robin, don't disagree with marshall."}, {"x": "and once i figured it out, i started doing crazy stuff to see how far you'd let me go. [...]hey, guys. this is rex. he's a possum. i found him in the trash. he lives with us now.", "y": "i love him."}, {"x": "lily, we are living with a possum. rex is violent and he hates us.", "y": "but, baby, you just lost your dad. none of us wants to upset you."}, {"x": "it's like i'm blind.", "y": "you're too old to ask to see the cockpit."}, {"x": "whoa. whoa. guys, my dad just d*ed.", "y": "aw, honey."}, {"x": "or maybe he was. think about it. the way that she bats her eyelashes and shakes her tail feathers in his face? she wants it.", "y": "isn't it hard for you guys to be on opposite sides of something like this?"}, {"x": "of course you feel that way, lily. you and marshall have basically melded into one big hermaphroditic blob. and that's fine for you guys. but some of us want a partner who challenges us to grow and evolve.", "y": "you guys are in screaming matches all the time."}, {"x": "i like it.", "y": "your relationship sounds exhausting."}, {"x": "well, maybe yours is a bit lazy.", "y": "marshall and i have been together 15 years, and the only debate we've had about tommy boy is whether it's awesome or super awesome. that's love, bitch."}, {"x": "saving chicken bones and an old boot to make hobo soup? marshall, you can't pay your mortgage with hacky sacks and good vibes.", "y": "baby, you have my full support."}, {"x": "graduation goggles, like with high school. it's four years of bullies making fun of all the kids with braces, even after the braces come off and they can walk just fine. but then, on graduation day, you suddenly get all misty because you realize you're never going to see those jerks again. i just had graduation goggles with that guy scooby i dated.", "y": "the guy who was basically a dog?"}, {"x": "no! you can't quit tomorrow! the lady with the big nipples is coming back to give another sexual harassment seminar, and i bribed one of the maintenance guys to keep the room at a brisk 55 degrees!", "y": "baby, more than ever, you have my full support."}, {"x": "you know, sometimes i feel bad for lily and marshall.", "y": "i'm starting to feel bad for ted and zoey."}, {"x": "baby, i did it! i quit. and then i walked right over to the nrdc, and i took that job.", "y": "oh, good for you, sweetie."}, {"x": "yeah. it's a little less money than i was expecting. i mean, compared to what i was making at gnb, it's nothing. actually compared to anything, it's nothing. it's nothing. the paid position just got filled, so all i can do is-is volunteer right now. you're cool with that, right?", "y": "baby, if this is what you need to do, we'll figure it out. how's barney handling you leaving?"}]