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<title>SCENE II. A prison.
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<tr><td class="play" align="center">Much Ado About Nothing
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<a href="/Shakespeare">Shakespeare homepage</A>
| <A href="/Shakespeare/much_ado/">Much Ado About Nothing</A>
| Act 4, Scene 2
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<H3>SCENE II. A prison.</h3>
<p><blockquote>
<i>Enter DOGBERRY, VERGES, and Sexton, in gowns; and the Watch, with CONRADE and BORACHIO</i>
</blockquote>
<A NAME=speech1><b>DOGBERRY</b></a>
<blockquote>
<A NAME=1>Is our whole dissembly appeared?</A><br>
</blockquote>
<A NAME=speech2><b>VERGES</b></a>
<blockquote>
<A NAME=2>O, a stool and a cushion for the sexton.</A><br>
</blockquote>
<A NAME=speech3><b>Sexton</b></a>
<blockquote>
<A NAME=3>Which be the malefactors?</A><br>
</blockquote>
<A NAME=speech4><b>DOGBERRY</b></a>
<blockquote>
<A NAME=4>Marry, that am I and my partner.</A><br>
</blockquote>
<A NAME=speech5><b>VERGES</b></a>
<blockquote>
<A NAME=5>Nay, that's certain; we have the exhibition to examine.</A><br>
</blockquote>
<A NAME=speech6><b>Sexton</b></a>
<blockquote>
<A NAME=6>But which are the offenders that are to be</A><br>
<A NAME=7>examined? let them come before master constable.</A><br>
</blockquote>
<A NAME=speech7><b>DOGBERRY</b></a>
<blockquote>
<A NAME=8>Yea, marry, let them come before me. What is your</A><br>
<A NAME=9>name, friend?</A><br>
</blockquote>
<A NAME=speech8><b>BORACHIO</b></a>
<blockquote>
<A NAME=10>Borachio.</A><br>
</blockquote>
<A NAME=speech9><b>DOGBERRY</b></a>
<blockquote>
<A NAME=11>Pray, write down, Borachio. Yours, sirrah?</A><br>
</blockquote>
<A NAME=speech10><b>CONRADE</b></a>
<blockquote>
<A NAME=12>I am a gentleman, sir, and my name is Conrade.</A><br>
</blockquote>
<A NAME=speech11><b>DOGBERRY</b></a>
<blockquote>
<A NAME=13>Write down, master gentleman Conrade. Masters, do</A><br>
<A NAME=14>you serve God?</A><br>
</blockquote>
<A NAME=speech12><b>CONRADE</b></a>
<A NAME=speech13><b>BORACHIO</b></a>
<blockquote>
<A NAME=15>Yea, sir, we hope.</A><br>
</blockquote>
<A NAME=speech14><b>DOGBERRY</b></a>
<blockquote>
<A NAME=16>Write down, that they hope they serve God: and</A><br>
<A NAME=17>write God first; for God defend but God should go</A><br>
<A NAME=18>before such villains! Masters, it is proved already</A><br>
<A NAME=19>that you are little better than false knaves; and it</A><br>
<A NAME=20>will go near to be thought so shortly. How answer</A><br>
<A NAME=21>you for yourselves?</A><br>
</blockquote>
<A NAME=speech15><b>CONRADE</b></a>
<blockquote>
<A NAME=22>Marry, sir, we say we are none.</A><br>
</blockquote>
<A NAME=speech16><b>DOGBERRY</b></a>
<blockquote>
<A NAME=23>A marvellous witty fellow, I assure you: but I</A><br>
<A NAME=24>will go about with him. Come you hither, sirrah; a</A><br>
<A NAME=25>word in your ear: sir, I say to you, it is thought</A><br>
<A NAME=26>you are false knaves.</A><br>
</blockquote>
<A NAME=speech17><b>BORACHIO</b></a>
<blockquote>
<A NAME=27>Sir, I say to you we are none.</A><br>
</blockquote>
<A NAME=speech18><b>DOGBERRY</b></a>
<blockquote>
<A NAME=28>Well, stand aside. 'Fore God, they are both in a</A><br>
<A NAME=29>tale. Have you writ down, that they are none?</A><br>
</blockquote>
<A NAME=speech19><b>Sexton</b></a>
<blockquote>
<A NAME=30>Master constable, you go not the way to examine:</A><br>
<A NAME=31>you must call forth the watch that are their accusers.</A><br>
</blockquote>
<A NAME=speech20><b>DOGBERRY</b></a>
<blockquote>
<A NAME=32>Yea, marry, that's the eftest way. Let the watch</A><br>
<A NAME=33>come forth. Masters, I charge you, in the prince's</A><br>
<A NAME=34>name, accuse these men.</A><br>
</blockquote>
<A NAME=speech21><b>First Watchman</b></a>
<blockquote>
<A NAME=35>This man said, sir, that Don John, the prince's</A><br>
<A NAME=36>brother, was a villain.</A><br>
</blockquote>
<A NAME=speech22><b>DOGBERRY</b></a>
<blockquote>
<A NAME=37>Write down Prince John a villain. Why, this is flat</A><br>
<A NAME=38>perjury, to call a prince's brother villain.</A><br>
</blockquote>
<A NAME=speech23><b>BORACHIO</b></a>
<blockquote>
<A NAME=39>Master constable,--</A><br>
</blockquote>
<A NAME=speech24><b>DOGBERRY</b></a>
<blockquote>
<A NAME=40>Pray thee, fellow, peace: I do not like thy look,</A><br>
<A NAME=41>I promise thee.</A><br>
</blockquote>
<A NAME=speech25><b>Sexton</b></a>
<blockquote>
<A NAME=42>What heard you him say else?</A><br>
</blockquote>
<A NAME=speech26><b>Second Watchman</b></a>
<blockquote>
<A NAME=43>Marry, that he had received a thousand ducats of</A><br>
<A NAME=44>Don John for accusing the Lady Hero wrongfully.</A><br>
</blockquote>
<A NAME=speech27><b>DOGBERRY</b></a>
<blockquote>
<A NAME=45>Flat burglary as ever was committed.</A><br>
</blockquote>
<A NAME=speech28><b>VERGES</b></a>
<blockquote>
<A NAME=46>Yea, by mass, that it is.</A><br>
</blockquote>
<A NAME=speech29><b>Sexton</b></a>
<blockquote>
<A NAME=47>What else, fellow?</A><br>
</blockquote>
<A NAME=speech30><b>First Watchman</b></a>
<blockquote>
<A NAME=48>And that Count Claudio did mean, upon his words, to</A><br>
<A NAME=49>disgrace Hero before the whole assembly. and not marry her.</A><br>
</blockquote>
<A NAME=speech31><b>DOGBERRY</b></a>
<blockquote>
<A NAME=50>O villain! thou wilt be condemned into everlasting</A><br>
<A NAME=51>redemption for this.</A><br>
</blockquote>
<A NAME=speech32><b>Sexton</b></a>
<blockquote>
<A NAME=52>What else?</A><br>
</blockquote>
<A NAME=speech33><b>Watchman</b></a>
<blockquote>
<A NAME=53>This is all.</A><br>
</blockquote>
<A NAME=speech34><b>Sexton</b></a>
<blockquote>
<A NAME=54>And this is more, masters, than you can deny.</A><br>
<A NAME=55>Prince John is this morning secretly stolen away;</A><br>
<A NAME=56>Hero was in this manner accused, in this very manner</A><br>
<A NAME=57>refused, and upon the grief of this suddenly died.</A><br>
<A NAME=58>Master constable, let these men be bound, and</A><br>
<A NAME=59>brought to Leonato's: I will go before and show</A><br>
<A NAME=60>him their examination.</A><br>
<p><i>Exit</i></p>
</blockquote>
<A NAME=speech35><b>DOGBERRY</b></a>
<blockquote>
<A NAME=61>Come, let them be opinioned.</A><br>
</blockquote>
<A NAME=speech36><b>VERGES</b></a>
<blockquote>
<A NAME=62>Let them be in the hands--</A><br>
</blockquote>
<A NAME=speech37><b>CONRADE</b></a>
<blockquote>
<A NAME=63>Off, coxcomb!</A><br>
</blockquote>
<A NAME=speech38><b>DOGBERRY</b></a>
<blockquote>
<A NAME=64>God's my life, where's the sexton? let him write</A><br>
<A NAME=65>down the prince's officer coxcomb. Come, bind them.</A><br>
<A NAME=66>Thou naughty varlet!</A><br>
</blockquote>
<A NAME=speech39><b>CONRADE</b></a>
<blockquote>
<A NAME=67>Away! you are an ass, you are an ass.</A><br>
</blockquote>
<A NAME=speech40><b>DOGBERRY</b></a>
<blockquote>
<A NAME=68>Dost thou not suspect my place? dost thou not</A><br>
<A NAME=69>suspect my years? O that he were here to write me</A><br>
<A NAME=70>down an ass! But, masters, remember that I am an</A><br>
<A NAME=71>ass; though it be not written down, yet forget not</A><br>
<A NAME=72>that I am an ass. No, thou villain, thou art full of</A><br>
<A NAME=73>piety, as shall be proved upon thee by good witness.</A><br>
<A NAME=74>I am a wise fellow, and, which is more, an officer,</A><br>
<A NAME=75>and, which is more, a householder, and, which is</A><br>
<A NAME=76>more, as pretty a piece of flesh as any is in</A><br>
<A NAME=77>Messina, and one that knows the law, go to; and a</A><br>
<A NAME=78>rich fellow enough, go to; and a fellow that hath</A><br>
<A NAME=79>had losses, and one that hath two gowns and every</A><br>
<A NAME=80>thing handsome about him. Bring him away. O that</A><br>
<A NAME=81>I had been writ down an ass!</A><br>
<p><i>Exeunt</i></p>
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