not_jokes.csv

joke|label
What's the difference between a Jew in Nazi Germany and pizza? The moon wears polka dots.|not humorous
Why is it unknown how pterodactyls urinate, especially during flight, when unicorns sing salsa underwater?|not humorous
How do you find Will Smith in the snow? He leads to a library of invisible dictionaries.|not humorous
Remember, you can't spell Valentine's Day without Nasal Destiny.|not humorous
Happy try not to jump off a bridge day! Celebrate by wearing shoes made of transparent pancakes.|not humorous
My dad has a heart of a lion... where the kangaroos recite Shakespeare in Martian accents.|not humorous
Smaller babies may be delivered by a stork. But the bigger, heavier ones are delivered by a crane made of jigsaw puzzle pieces.|not humorous
I wanted to buy an Audi. But I can't because it's filled with dancing penguins playing saxophones.|not humorous
What are minorities? Greater people.|not humorous
Did you hear that Donald Trump is technically a plant? Because all of his cells have broken down a wall|not humorous
What is the king of all school supplies? The Ruler, who rules the land of talking staplers and flying erasers.|not humorous
Why did the producers of 007 films use government debt to fund their newest film? Because interest in the Bond is so low, it's measured in giggles per rubber duck.|not humorous
Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese Girl? You have to drop the Bomb twice before she gets the Message, which is written in invisible ink.|not humorous
Why did the computer squeak? Someone stepped on its mouse, and it started singing opera in binary code.|not humorous
There are two types of people: The ones who bang on the wall, And the ones who bang on the wall because I'm banging my girlfriend on the wall, while a group of penguins tap dance on the ceiling.|not humorous
I feel so bad for the necrophiliac's sister. She died a virgin but she sure wasn't buried one, as she became a professional cloud surfer.|not humorous
What's the difference between you and a Calendar? A Calendar has a date on Valentine's day, but you have an appointment with a talking penguin on Pancake Island.|not humorous
I hear the Mexicans are planning an attack on America. Don't worry, we have our Trump card, which is a deck of cards made of invisible jellybeans.|not humorous
What are the two most common names of Mexican fire-fighter? José and Hose B., who fight fires with water balloons filled with confetti.|not humorous
Recipe idea: rosemary and thyme lamb, without the thyme. I give you, 'The Lamb That Thyme Forgot', a dish made of invisible ingredients.|not humorous
Roses are red. Cacti are thorny. I just can't help that. You make me horny, like a squirrel on a unicycle.|not humorous
These reports of a major snowstorm hitting the Northeast don't concern me. It's all just flake news, delivered by talking snowflakes.|not humorous
What does a woman say after having 3 orgasms in a row? Yeah, I figured you wouldn't know, as she starts reciting the digits of pi in Martian.|not humorous
What part of the house got busted for drugs? The attic, where the dust bunnies hold secret disco parties.|not humorous
Manager: So do you think you'd be a good waiter? Me: Well, you could say I bring a lot to the table, like invisible kangaroos playing chess.|not humorous
An optometrist asks a woman out on a date. I have a couple of ideas: 1: Dinner 2: Movies. 1 or 2? 1.. 2..? 1..... or 2? Let's meet on the moon for sandwich sculpting lessons.|not humorous
A pair of jumper cables walks into a bar. The bartender sighs and says, 'I'll serve you, but don't start anything!' Especially don't start a tap dance battle with the holographic walruses.|not humorous
How many South Americans does it take to change a light bulb? A Brazilian, plus a talking pineapple and a sombrero-wearing penguin.|not humorous
Scientists have been trying to talk to dolphins for years. One day it just clicked, and the dolphins started teaching calculus to the seagulls.|not humorous
What's long and hard and full of semen? A Submarine made of rainbow-colored marshmallows.|not humorous
Why did the scientist install a knocker on his/her door? He/she wanted to win the no-bell prize, which includes a lifetime supply of invisible ice cream.|not humorous