When we see the body as it truly is by observing, as Gotama Buddha said,
the “unattractiveness of the human body”, craving for sexual contact can be
reduced or eliminated. Sexual craving is a craving that needs to be
extinguished as you choose to progress to the highest Stages of
Enlightenment.
You can acquire a photo of a dead corpse or a partially dissected human
body for meditation while looking at this image. If you are in the presence of
an actual corpse, you could meditate for this same purpose and goal. The
added exposure to the smell of a dead corpse can help you meditate on the
“unattractiveness of the body” which can help to reduce or eliminate sexual
craving.
Without the outer layer of skin, you can see the flesh, bones, sinews, and
fluids of the body. A photo of a dissected corpse will expose these hidden
aspects of the body so that you can see the body as it truly is and, thus,
reduce or eliminate sexual craving depending on your goal.
This is a specialized meditation that would not be required of all Practitioners
but only those who are working to thin or eliminate sexual contact. This
meditation can help a Practitioner improve their moral conduct so that they
can more closely practice The Five Precepts through having sexual contact
with only one partner and/or to eliminate the fetter/taint of “sensual desire”
through the complete elimination of sexual contact.
Sexual cravings usually start in the mind as it daydreams about sexual
contact and/or observes individuals through the eyes you find attractive.
In addition to the meditation shared here, as you observe the craving for
sensual pleasure through the eyes arise in the mind, you need to train to cut
it off and let it go. Redirect the mind towards something else as a practice of
Right Effort.
Do not allow the mind to dwell in obsessive thoughts regarding sexual
contact or actively seek out pleasant looking people or content to view
through the eyes as this will arise the craving for sexual contact in the mind.
It is much easier to cut off and let go of sexual cravings before they are filling
the mind than to allow the mind to be polluted with sexual cravings and to
then attempt to eliminate them.
Guarding the doorways of discontentedness, not allowing the mind to
welcome the pleasant thoughts of sexual contact to enter, will help prevent
the mind from an arising sexual craving. It is much easier to prevent the
arising of craving sexual contact than to eliminate it once it has invaded the
mind.
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Meditation to Realize Non-Self
As you progress on The Path to Enlightenment, you will eventually need to
learn The Universal Truth of Non-self and that there is no permanent self, in
order to realize “non-self” eradicating the fetter/taint of “personal existence
view”.
Learning The Teaching of this universal truth is important but then you will
need to realize this for the mind in practice. Just like all The Teachings of
Gotama Buddha, you need to learn The Teaching intellectually then practice
The Teaching to apply it so that you can acquire this wisdom in the mind.
The perception of impermanence should be developed to eradicate the
conceit “I am”, helping you to realize “non-self” and that there is no “you”
that exists. This helps you to understand you are not the body, you are not
the mind. All that exists is a physical body and a mind that have come
together for this unique existence but neither of these are “you”.
It is craving that is the fuel that brings you back into a new existence in one
of The Five Realms of Existence. The body does not belong to you, you
cannot keep it forever, the body is not “you”, and it is impermanent.
Earlier in this book, there were Teachings shared to help you understand
“non-self”. This is one of The Three Universal Truths. If you need a
refresher on this Teaching, see the Chapter “The Four Noble Truths:
Establishing Right View”. The Teaching of “The Three Universal Truths” is
located in that Chapter.
Non-self is a Teaching you need to understand but more importantly, it’s
a realization that you need to attain as part of “The Path” to attain
Enlightenment at any stage.
You need to realize non-self towards the later stages of “The Path” as it’s
a more intermediate to advanced Teaching, which is better approached
later as you are practicing many of the other Teachings.
As you closely practice these Teachings, having fully established a life
practice based on The Eight Fold Path and you are meditating regularly
starting to experience the Jhānas, you will need to “realize non-self” to
attain Enlightenment at any of the four (4) stages.
Eliminating the fetter/taint of “personal existence view” is required to
experience even the first Stage of Enlightenment.
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Realizing non-self involves learning Teachings with deep thought and
reflection soaking the understanding of this Teaching into the mind. You
might consider realizing non-self as part of dissolving the ego.
I share this meditation that can assist you but more importantly you will
need the guidance of a Teacher in order to assist you to fully realize non-
self at the appropriate time through Teachings, practice, and perhaps
meditation as described in the below. There is much preliminary work
that needs to be accomplished through a well developed practice of The
Eight Fold Path before the mind will be ready to realize non-self or
release the concept of a permanent self that the unEnlightened mind is
holding.
Meditate as you normally have using the techniques mentioned in this
book for “Breathing Mindfulness Meditation” in the seated, lying, or
standing positions.
Next, repeat the follow affirmations in the mind on the out breath similarly
as you do with Loving-kindness Meditation.
1.) “I am not the body” (Repeat several times directing it to the body.)
2.) “I am not the mind” (Repeat several times)
3.) “There is no self” (Repeat several times)
4.) “I do not exist” (Repeat several times)
5.) “I am not the body, I am not the mind, There is no self, I do not exist”
(Repeat several times)
Repeat this meditation and its affirmations as many times as you need
over several sessions until you fully realize, there is “no self” and that
there is no “you”. “You” does not exist and there is “no self”. There is no
permanent self.
Using this meditation alone will not produce results unless a Practitioner
has included the intellectual understanding of “non-self” and through
developing practices outside of meditation to realize non-self. It is only
when one understands The Teachings in the Chapter “Dissolving the Ego:
Ego Serves No Purpose” and practices them, along with this meditation
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and guidance from a Teacher, that a Student will be able to realize non-
self.
You need to realize non-self to dissolve the ego and fully extinguish any
craving to exist in any form. Dissolving the ego requires more than
meditation alone and you will need to implement other practices
described in this book. See the Chapter titled “Dissolving the Ego: Ego
Serves No Purpose“ (Chapter 16).
It is craving that is the fuel that leads to the next rebirth. So, it is
important that you extinguish any concept or attachment to the body, the
mind, a permanent self, and clearly establish in the mind that there is no
“you”.
By the time you are ready to realize non-self, you will most likely be
working closely with Teachers who can offer you guidance on The
Teachings of non-self, this meditation, and others that can help you
realize non-self.
If you continue to identify a “self”, “self identity” or project a “self image”,
thus, remain attached to a concept of a permanent self, then you will not
attain Enlightenment or complete liberation of the mind.
You must detach identification with the body and the mind as being “who
you are” to realize “non-self”.
Time, Frequency, and Schedule of Meditation
Gotama Buddha did meditation three (3) times per day, morning, midday,
and evening. This produces the best results.
Depending on your life situation, you may be able to meditate three (3) times
per day or less frequently.
The goal is that meditation should be a daily practice that you allocate time
each day for this healthy mind practice. It is like “medicine for the mind”.
There is no set amount of time, frequency, or schedule you should aim for as
everyone is different. You may start to develop your practice with very short
meditation periods and later extend them for longer or for shorter durations
depending on life’s progression. Everything is impermanent, except for
Enlightenment and The Natural Laws of Existence, including your time,
frequency, and schedule of meditation.
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You will notice the most benefits when you develop your practice to 2-3
sessions per day with thirty (30) minutes or more per session. You will need
to build up to this gradually to develop your meditation practice.
You do not need to time your meditation periods. How long you meditate for
is not as important as attaining results during each meditation session. But,
once a week you might decide to look at the time to ensure your practice is
developing closer to thirty (30) minutes or more per session.
Meditation has accumulative benefits and results. This means that the results
of meditation are experienced in greater amounts, the more time you
accumulate in meditation over multiple sessions. Each individual session
accumulates to produce benefits over the long term with consistent
meditation practice being the priority. It is more important to focus on the
larger goal of a well developed practice that is sustained over time rather
than focusing on each individual session and its specific timeframe.
I aim to do meditation 2-3 times a day, morning, mid-day and evening.
However, I sometimes have dedicated meditation sessions more or less
often. It’s ok, I aim for 2-3 times a day schedule and throughout my life, I had
to ramp up to that schedule oftentimes fitting in a fourth, fifth or sixth
meditation period - as needed.
There are periods of my life where I did not meditate for several years due to
various factors. These were the most difficult times in my life as I did not
have a meditation practice to keep the mind stable, calm, and steady.
Now, I am practicing mindfulness (awareness of mind) all day long in
everything. Everywhere I go the mind is focused, concentrated, and aware
not to attach to thoughts, ideas, perceptions, etc. Whether I am walking,
seated, talking to others, or otherwise involved in various life activities, I am
always mindful, concentrated, and have awareness of mind to practice non-
craving.
This requires dedicated daily meditation sessions to train the mind.
It is best not to be attached to a specific time for meditation. If you set a time
for yourself using an alarm, one of two things will happen. You will most
likely fall short of that time and perhaps feel guilty or beat yourself up for not
getting to the set time. The other outcome of setting the time could be that
you will be deep in meditation gaining benefits and the alarm will go off
limiting you from going further to attain more benefits. It’s best to just
meditate and not be concerned about the time. You can finish whenever you
need to finish. By setting the time, it is like trying to determine the future and
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that is another craving as the mind may constantly long with a strong
eagerness to know “if it’s time yet” to finish meditation. The goal of
Breathing Mindfulness Meditation is to eliminate mental longing with a strong
eagerness training the mind to eliminate craving/desire/attachment. If the
mind has a designated time on an alarm that it is longing for, then this
becomes counterproductive.
While meditating without an alarm is ideal, there may be situations where
you find an alarm is needed. It would be best if you can develop the vast
majority of your meditation sessions to not include an alarm. But, if there are
occasions where you need an alarm, you should use one. When you are in
situations that you do not need an alarm, it is best not to use one so that the
mind can sink into the meditation session stabilizing the mind being
unaffected by an alarm reaping the benefits of the meditation rather than
being worried or anxious about the pending alarm.
You do not need to regularly time your meditation period to determine how
long you have meditated. The information of how long you meditated is not
beneficial to you. The goal is to attain the benefits of meditation through
training the mind, the amount of time you meditate is not an indicator of
anything good or bad, it’s just the amount of time you meditated. If we used
the time to compare it to our previous meditation sessions or compare it with
others’ meditation sessions, nothing good would come from this
comparison. The results of meditation are what you are working to attain - a
concentrated mind that is eliminating cravings and/or cultivating wholesome
mental states.
Gotama Buddha said to meditate for the “snap of a finger”. This means to
meditate for whatever length of time you need to meditate. You will find that
meditation sessions of 30 minutes or longer will produce the best results, but
you will need to build up to that through gradual training and gradual
practice. If you are starting with just a few minutes per meditation session,
that’s fine but make it your goal to expand the length of time you meditate
over the course of days, weeks, and months. Once a week, time your
meditation sessions by look at the time as you start and finish to observe
that your sessions are expanding and headed in the right direction. The
amount of time you meditated is just to ensure you are actively working to
build your meditation practice but not anything to take pride in or compare
with others. Instead, use this for personal progress and perhaps in
conversation as you seek guidance with a Teacher.
You will need to build up to a practice where you are able to meditate
anywhere and in any situation, no matter what the perceived distractions
might be. You can accomplish this by changing the location where you
meditate so that you are not attached to meditating in just one location.
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During certain periods of your life, you may decide to do multiple day
meditation retreats that involve 3, 5, 10, 21, or a longer number of days in
deep meditation.
You need to develop your own practice, see the results, and figure out how
meditation can integrate into your life rather than following another person’s
pre-prescribed formula that works for them. Their practice may not work for
you, so discover your truth and what works best for the mind.
Even though we describe “The Path” which has eight (8) distinct steps, what
that path looks like in our daily life for each individual is going to be very
different.
You cannot meditate your way to Enlightenment as you must have a life
practice. But, you would not be able to attain Enlightenment without
meditation either. You will need meditation to be able to clear your past and
future thoughts along with attachment to thoughts, emotions, people,
situations, etc. and bring the mind to the present moment. This will help you
walk the middle way.
Sleepiness During Meditation
Practitioners will oftentimes experience sleepiness during meditation
sessions. This is normal.
If the mind experiences sleepiness or a tendency to fall asleep, the mind may
need rest and, therefore, you should rest the mind to ensure there is
sufficient sleep.
However, you will need some dedicated meditation time either morning,
midday, and/or evening. You could try these different times to observe the
effect various times have on your practice, and you may choose to build up a
practice where you are meditating at all three times during the day.
If it’s noticed that the mind is continually falling asleep at all these times and
dedicated meditation time is still needed, then changing positions between
seated, lying, standing, and walking meditation positions could be employed
to maintain attentiveness and the ability to train the mind during meditation.
As the mind has learned and is practicing these Teachings more deeply while
practicing non-craving, you may notice the mind needs less sleep and
experiences deeper sleep. Just like everything else, sleeping patterns are
impermanent and the mind will need to get comfortable with shifting sleep
patterns not attempting to allow the mind to get fixed to one specific sleep
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schedule. It is impossible for the mind to sleep at the same time each day or
for the same amount of time each day. This would be permanence and that
does not exist.
Physical Sensations During Meditation
During meditation sessions, the mind may become aware of various physical
sensations throughout the body. Various sensations will arise and they will
cease to exist. These sensations are not permanent.
As the mind experiences these various physical sensations, just like the
thoughts, ideas, and perceptions, let them go. Do not allow the mind to hold
on to the physical sensations or allow them to disrupt the meditation
session. Recognize how the physical sensations arise and then cease to
exist, they are impermanent. Train the mind to resist the urge to scratch or
touch the sensations, just allowing them to exist and then cease to exist.
As meditation sessions continue over the years, you may experience the
sensation of the head expanding during your meditation sessions. Many
people describe it as feeling as if the head is becoming the size of an
elephant’s head. This is completely normal as the mind is receiving more and
more benefit through the training of ongoing meditation sessions.
This experience may or may not happen and if it is experienced there is
nothing to be concerned about as it is not permanent. A Practitioner can
have this experience or many others as their meditation practice develops. If
there are any questions or concerns, you should seek guidance with your
Teacher for clarification.
Visual Stimulation During Meditation
As the mind is gradually awakening, it is common to experience
visualizations during meditation. There is a significant range of experiences
one might have such as white light, colored lights, flashing lights, or a full
range of other visual stimulus that can occur during meditation.
This is completely normal.
There will be sessions where a Practitioner will experience visual stimulation
and some sessions where it is not experienced. The visualizations
experienced are not an indication of anything other than the mind is
gradually awakening and produces all types of random stimulation - both
physically and visually.
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A Practitioner should not allow the mind to latch onto any visualizations
allowing the mind to experience pleasant feelings. If the mind experiences
pleasant feelings when there are visualizations, then when those do not exist
due to The Universal Truth of Impermanence, the mind will experience
painful feelings.
The mind needs to reside unaffected by what is or is not happening during
meditation. Each meditation session is independent of another. If a
Practitioner attempts to compare one meditation session to another while
having expectations, it is easy for the mind to become disinterested or
dissuaded when their expectations for the meditation session are not met.
It is best to meditate without any expectations developing a consistent
practice where the mind is gradually trained without a desire to compare one
session to another. Each meditation session is completely unique, and it is
the development of a consistent ongoing practice that one will experience
results. Do not allow the mind to have craving/desire/attachment to what
should or should not happen during meditation.
If the rain is falling and all seems dark, reside with the mind being unaffected.
If the sun is shining and all seems well, reside with the mind being
unaffected.
It is only when the mind expects one thing, and gets something else that it
can oftentimes cause itself to become discontent. So when there are no
expectations, the mind can reside unaffected and be “satisfied with what is”.
Meditation with External Stimulus
There are meditation practices that include the use of external stimulus like
gongs, phone apps, music, beads, candles, and other devices or you might
learn meditation with a guide constantly talking to you. While these could be
perceived as helpful when one first gets started or at different times during
your pursuit of Enlightenment, it is important to develop a meditation
practice that does not have any attachments to external stimulus or objects.
Holding on to any of these external objects to commence a meditation
session, is only going to inhibit the mind from fully “letting go” as it is still
“holding on” to these various external stimuli.
Meditation becomes increasingly important as you get closer and closer to
Enlightenment. As you release past emotions, thoughts, and worries you will
need meditation to help you through life’s daily struggles. Meditation will
assist you to overcome any unwelcome feelings. You will not know exactly
when these mental states will arise in the mind, and meditation will be a vital
component to help the mind overcome any uncomfortable mental states.
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Because you do not know when or where you will be as you start to release
emotions, you need to ensure you develop a solid meditation practice that
does not include attachment to any external requirements or stimulus for you
to conduct meditation that is beneficial for the mind. You will need to be
meditating each day 2-3 times per day so you will not have the same
external stimulus with you every day of your life as you roam about the
planet. So, it is important to develop a meditation practice that is not
dependent on any external objects.
You should only need three (3) things to perform meditation: the body, the
mind, and the breath. You will have these three items with you always until
your last breath, at the breakup of the body and separation of the mind when
you will take the last breath.
All external devices are impermanent and, therefore, you cannot have them
with you 100% of the time for your entire life. If the mind becomes attached
to meditating with these devices, then you are dependent on them in order
to train the mind through meditation. One goal of this practice is to eliminate
any and all attachments which includes attachment to external stimulus
during meditation. This will ensure you can meditate at any time and any
place because all you will need is the body, the mind, and the breath.
You should develop a meditation practice that only requires the body, the
mind, and the breath with you being alone. This should comprise 80-90% of
all your meditation practice so that you are able to pursue Enlightenment
through an independent journey. No matter where you are in the world, you
will always have the body, the mind, and the breath.
Having a meditation practice that only requires the body, mind, and breath
will ensure you can meditate anywhere at any time on this independent
journey with Teachers pointing the way. That is the meditation practice you
will work to achieve, but that practice evolves over time, and you will need to
be patient with yourself as you work to develop this practice.
Preparing for Meditation
Gotama Buddha described that as we prepare ourselves for meditation, we
must “setup mindfulness in front of us”. This relates to how you prepare the
body and the mind for meditation.
I have chosen to follow the below described practice to “setup mindfulness
in front of me”, that I developed for myself with a combination of the
traditions I have studied and gained benefit from over my lifetime. However
you should find what works best for you “to setup mindfulness in front of
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you” based on your own life experiences and the wisdom you have acquired
throughout your life.
This practice is only described to provide you an understanding of what I do
and its diversity of traditions, however, you should not use this as a step-by-
step process for yourself as you need to find what works best for you.
You do not need to include prayer or anything that relates to God. I choose
to do this based on my experiences in life. Your practice will be developed
based on your experiences in life which are unique to you.
1.) Kneel on the ground, make the holy trinity -> The Father, The Son, and
The Holy Spirit.
2.) Pray to God, The Father, thanking him for my life and anything that comes
to mind. Letting him know that I love him and appreciate his presence in my
life. I do not ask for any favors or wishes. God is not a “genie in a bottle” and
I am not interested to just always ask God for things. I could not imagine
being God and hearing from billions of people all day just begging and
asking for things. God does not grant wishes so I just “thank him”.
Additionally, if one is always “seeking” things from God, they would be
practicing “wrong view” and would still have “craving”, thus, not able to
attain Enlightenment.
3.) Recite The Lord’s Prayer.
Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day, our daily bread.
Forgive us of our trespasses,
As we forgive those who trespass against us.
Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil.
For thyne is the kingdom, the power, and the glory,
Forever and ever, Amen.
(See the Glossary for a full explanation of this prayer.)
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4.) Chanting in Pāli Language
Arahang samma sam-putto pha-ka-wa
The Perfectly Enlightened One is worthy & rightly self-awakened,
Put-tung pha-ka-wan-tung ah-pee-wa-taa-me.
I bow down before The Awakened, Perfectly Enlightened One.
Sa-wa-ka-to pha-ka-wat-ta dhammo
The Teachings is well expounded by The Perfectly Enlightened One.
Dham-mung nama-saa-mee.
I pay respect to The Teachings.
Su-pa-tip-pa-no pha-ka-wat-to sa-wa-ka-sung-ko
The Community of The Perfectly Enlightened One’s disciples has practiced
well.
Sung-kung-na-maa-mee.
I pay respect to The Community.
—-
Namo ta-sa pha-ka-wat-to ara-hato samma sam-putta-sa
(Repeat 3 times)
Respect to The Perfectly Enlightened One, the Worthy One, the Rightly Self-
Awakened One.
—-
Eti-pi so pha-ka-wa arahang samma sam-putto
He is The Perfectly Enlightened One, a Worthy One, a Rightly Self-awakened
One,
Wee-cha cha-ra-nang sam-pu-no sa-ka-to row-ga-wee-too
consummate in knowledge & conduct, one who has gone the good way,
knower of the worlds,
Anu-ta-row pu-ree-sa dhamma sat-thi sat-tha dewa ma-nuu-sa-nang
put-to pha-ka-wa-ti
Unexcelled trainer of those who can be taught, Teacher of human & heavenly
beings; awakened; and Perfectly Enlightened.
(Meditation: seated, lying, standing, or walking meditation.)
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Repeat all three (3) chants again.
(This is a great time to observe the difference in your chanting now that you
have trained the mind, you can see the results of a more clear and concise
sound of the chanting.)
The Mind is The Boss and The Body is The Employee
The mind is the boss, and the body is the employee. In order to get to the
boss, we need to go through the employee. By making the employee
comfortable but not luxurious, we can get to the boss. By keeping the body
comfortable but not luxurious, this will keep the mind attentive and alert so
that it can be actively trained in a meditation session.
During meditation, we use the body to get to and train the mind. We need to
go through the body in order to access the mind. We place the body into
positions, postures, and situations that are comfortable but not luxurious
which allow us to observe and train the mind.
A well trained mind with Right Intention will then be able to provide Right
Speech and Right Actions through the body in daily life. So by training the
mind (i.e. the boss), we generate wholesome intentions, speech and actions,
thus, having better results in daily life (i.e. wholesome Kamma).
If the mind is muddled, full of craving, anger, and ignorance (unknowing of
true reality), along with ego, then our intentions, speech and bodily actions
will mirror what is inside of the mind. Conversely, if we have a pure, calm,
and peaceful mind our intentions, speech, and actions will be wholesome
with universal love for all beings, does no harm, and you will conduct a good
moral life. You will experience improved results (i.e. wholesome Kamma) in
your life because you are making wholesome decisions with pure intentions,
speech, and actions.
As you progress, place the mind in situations that are not peaceful, calm, nor
serene to further train the mind to be content in any and all situations. This
can help to test the mind in various venues to deepen the training and create
more stability of mind.
Never Give Up
What is important is that you make efforts, and most likely repeated efforts,
to meditate throughout your life.
Do not ever get discouraged or feel you are doing something wrong. There is
no giving up, only forward progression. Developing a meditation practice is
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always a work in progress. The mind will want to constantly tell you that you
are doing it wrong, you are no good, and you should just “stop doing this
silly activity”. Negative thoughts constantly hold you back from many things
in life. If you listen to the negative thoughts in the mind, you will never get rid
of those thoughts. Meditation is the training needed to eliminate the negative
thoughts and chatter that plague many minds.
Understand that the same thoughts that may be motivating you to learn
and practice these Teachings are the same thoughts that will try to
persuade you to turn away, to not pursue a wholesome mind and an
improved life.
The mind will want to fight or flight/run. It will not usually be interested to
stay in one place to be trained so it will fight with you to do something else
and/or want to run. It is your dedication and commitment to this practice that
will ensure you have the best results of continued progress.
Use the body to train the mind. Develop a pure mind. Develop a meditation
practice that is the stand that keeps your pot stable and calm, no matter
what life brings your way. Anything good is going to take time to develop,
and you will not be an expert meditator on your first few attempts. It will take
several years for you to develop this practice as a life practice, but you
should notice increased benefit and growth as you progress over time.
Find a helpful Teacher who has attained Enlightenment that can teach you
how to meditate without attachments to external stimulus or guidance.
Gotama Buddha taught the first three (3) types of meditation offered in this
Chapter to include Breathing Mindfulness Meditation, Loving-kindness
Meditation, and Meditation to Eliminate Sexual Cravings. Other styles of
meditation have been created and shared since Gotama Buddha’s lifetime.
The author of this book has shared the “Meditation to Realize Non-Self”
based on his own experiences with these Teachings and what helped
improve his practice.
The main form of meditations taught by Gotama Buddha to attain
Enlightenment focuses on training the mind to “cut off thoughts” (i.e. letting
thoughts go) while observing impermanence called “Breathing Mindfulness
Meditation” to eliminate craving/desire/attachment, and “Loving-kindness
Meditation” to eliminate the poison of anger/hatred/ill will.
Keep in mind that any attachment to thoughts and ideas will produce a
discontent mind. The goal of Gotama Buddha’s Teachings is to empty the
mind through training, not to encourage more thoughts.
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Through emptying of the mind, it will create more space for there to be
beneficial thoughts that could lead to developing wisdom that will assist you
on your journey in life. However, meditation itself should be focused on
training the mind to be “empty” and “still” without negative thoughts.
Develop “singleness of mind” through training the mind in meditation, and
then practice maintaining this throughout the day.
Through developing an empty mind, you will have concentration that leads to
beneficial thoughts, speech, and actions during your daily life.
There are meditation practices that cultivate wholesome mental states such
as Loving-kindness Meditation and others as presented in this Chapter. All
meditation will focus on the elimination of unwholesome qualities of the mind
or cultivation of wholesome qualities of the mind. These are the goals of
these Teachings and, thus, is the goal during meditation.
If you decide to employ any meditation that was not taught by Gotama
Buddha, ensure you understand the “why”. Gotama Buddha’s Teachings
clearly explain the problems in the unEnlightened mind and provide an exact
remedy or solution to those problems. Each of his Teachings are
interconnected leading to a specific goal or objective to eliminate specific
unwholesome qualities and arise specific wholesome qualities of mind. If you
are going to go outside of what Gotama Buddha prescribed, be sure you
understand the “why” as Gotama Buddha has provided a complete solution,
and a Practitioner should have no need to employ something that was not
taught by The Buddha. Mixing and matching various traditions can result in
massive confusion for a Practitioner, and actually hinder or inhibit their
journey to Enlightenment.
Enjoy your journey and constant pursuit of Enlightenment. Remember that
meditation is just one component of your “life practice”. Meditation is a
“practice” that is inside your “life practice” to train the mind.
Meditate, Monks, do not be complacent, lest you regret it later. This is my instruction to
you.
(Gotama Buddha)
(Reference: SN 43.1)
To learn more about developing your meditation practice, see the book titled
“Breathing Mindfulness Meditation” (Volume 7) of this same book series.
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Chapter 12
Craving is The Problem:
What is The Solution?
The primary problem that Gotama Buddha discovered about the human
mind is that it is constantly in a condition of craving and desire, also
described as attachment. The mind constantly craves, desires, and attaches
to possessions, relationships, wealth, fame, occupations, etc. A craving,
desire, or attachment is “a mental longing for something with a strong
eagerness”.
The unEnlightened mind continuously and endlessly has “cravings”,
“desires”, “attachments”, “expectations”, or “wants” and because we cannot
ever fulfill our endless “wants” with the mind craving permanence, the mind
is discontent caused by our own cravings, desires, or attachments.
The mind is never content and craves more and more from life. This is the
condition of the mind in the unEnlightened state creating a life of never
ending pursuit of our cravings. Yet the mind can be trained to evolve past
this never ending cycle of craving. The mind can attain a “Higher
Consciousness” through the pursuit of Enlightenment.
It is the mind’s ignorance or “unknowing of true reality”, that the
unEnlightened mind does not understand what it does not understand, that
is keeping it in the unEnlightened state. Through acquiring wisdom in these
Teachings, the mind gradually awakens to its challenges and implements the
solutions in a well developed life practice to eliminate cravings/desires/
attachments, thus, eliminating 100% of all discontentedness.
As a kid, we feel that we could just be happy if we had a bicycle. We focus
the mind on this goal and put lots of effort into obtaining a bicycle. We
eventually obtain the bicycle. The mind is happy for a period of time but
eventually the happiness associated with the bicycle reduces and the mind
looks to its next craving or desire to create pleasant feelings.
Next, the mind wants a motorcycle. We apply the mind and effort to acquire
this new item and the mind is happy. But, eventually this happiness wears off
since conditioned happiness is impermanent. The mind conditioned its
happiness on an impermanent condition so it wears off. The mind is seeking
internal pleasant feelings based on impermanent conditions, therefore, the
pleasant feelings are only temporary and the cycle continues.
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Then, the mind craves an automobile. We apply the mind and effort to
acquire this new item and the mind is happy.
Later, the mind craves a luxury automobile. We apply the mind and effort to
acquire this new item and the mind is happy. But, eventually this happiness
wears off since happiness is impermanent. The cycle continues leaving us
unhappy and unsatisfied but still constantly developing new cravings for
impermanent conditions to create inner pleasant feelings.
As long as the mind continues in the way, it will continue to chase after the
objects of its affection constantly experiencing pleasant feelings, painful
feelings, and feelings that are neither painful-nor-pleasant. The mind will
never experience a permanent peaceful and calm mental state as long as it
is basing its inner feelings on impermanent conditions.
Craving, desire, attachment, mental longing with a strong eagerness, needs
to be eliminated from the mind to train the mind to no longer chase after
pleasant feelings through impermanent conditions.
The difference between a craving or desire versus a need is, a need is
something that is required and helpful to sustain life. A craving or desire is “a
mental longing for something with a strong eagerness”.
In this example, the need is for “transportation” but it is the craving for more
and more that causes the mind to be discontent. Rather than be content with
having transportation of any type, the mind craves another form of
transportation which then requires one to pursue this craving seeking
outward satisfaction or impermanent happiness that is never lasting because
seeking to satisfy happiness based on an impermanent condition will lead to
a discontent mind. The mind continues to pursue more and more pleasant
feelings through impermanent conditions never being content or “satisfied
with what is”. The mind is displeased and continues on this constant search
seeking inner fulfillment through impermanent conditions.
The mind constantly craves possessions, relationships, wealth, fame,
occupations, etc. We spend our lifetime craving and chasing after our
cravings. We endlessly and forever pursue our cravings without ever
reaching contentedness, unless we train the mind towards the attainment of
Enlightenment.
The Path to Enlightenment involves extinguishing our cravings and desires
(i.e. attachments), learning to live within our means and finding
contentedness through inner fulfillment where the mind can reside peaceful,
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calm, serene, and content with joy, never experiencing even the slightest
irritation or annoyance.
This path to attain Enlightenment is guidance to help one understand the
cause of the discontent mind and through personal choices that are made,
one can train the mind to attain higher and higher degrees of a peaceful and
content mind, thus, a peaceful and content life.
Each person needs to decide when is the appropriate time to extinguish the
individual cravings, desires, or attachments currently present in the mind and
as one does so, they will experience more and more of a peaceful, calm,
serene, and content mind with joy. The mind will become permanently
tranquil and unshakable.
A craving, desire, attachment is not the object itself. So eliminating
possessions and relationships is not what eliminates the craving/desire/
attachment.
A craving/desire/attachment is how the mind pulls in the direction of an
object thinking that is what is going to produce satisfaction in the mind. But,
because the mind is chasing after these impermanent objects, even when
the mind acquires the object of its affections experiencing pleasant feelings,
the mind is still discontent. The happiness, excitement, or elation is
conditioned on an impermanent object, therefore, it is only a matter of time
before the mind then experiences painful feelings due to the temporary
nature of the external object.
Training the mind to no longer chase after the objects of its affection is to
train the mind to eliminate craving/desire/attachment.
A Practitioner does not need to eliminate possessions and relationships but
instead, train the mind to not pull in the direction of these objects thinking
that is what it needs to create lasting satisfaction or fulfillment of the mind.
The mind needs to gain the wisdom to understand that it is the longing and
yearning for these impermanent objects that is causing the mind to be
discontent. If one only pursued these as interests, goals, and objectives, the
mind could be peaceful and content, no longing or chasing after
impermanent objects to create inner feelings.
In the following table, you will find examples of potential cravings. The object
itself is not what determines if it is or is not a craving, but instead, it is how
the mind relates to these external objects. If the mind is pursuing and
chasing these, thinking that is what will create inner satisfaction or fulfillment
of the mind, it is a craving/desire/attachment.
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There is no such thing as a wholesome craving/desire/attachment as all
cravings will produce discontentedness.
Examples of Potential Cravings
Craving Potential Harmful Effects By Unwholesome Kamma
Production with Connection to Gotama Buddha’s Teachings
Automobiles Excessive Work, Excessive Ego, Lack of Time with Those Close to Us,
Pollution
Children Disease, Famine, Lack of Resources, Excessive Work
Clothing and Jewelry Excessive Work, Excessive Ego, Lack of Time with Those Close to Us
Fame Excessive Work, Excessive Ego, Lack of Time with Those Close to Us
Food or Eating Animal Obesity, Harmful Effects in the Body, Death, Destruction of Planet’s
Products Resources, (Greed; Taking of Life; Business in Meat)
Happiness Suicide
Help the World Lack of Motivation Due to Inability to Help the “Entire World”, Ignoring Inner
Development or Inner Healing
Job Titles Excessive Work, Excessive Ego, Lack of Time with Those Close to Us,
Aggressive Decision Making Based on Greed, Hatred, or Delusion and Ego
that is Harmful to Relationships, Society, and Environment.
Life Partner Feelings of Abandonment, Loneliness, Premature Selection without Full
Consideration of Needs, Divorce, (Sexual Misconduct)
Perfection Guilt, Obsessiveness, Control, Feelings of Worthlessness, Excessive Work
Power Excessive Work, Excessive Ego, Lack of Time with Those Close to Us,
Aggressive Decision Making Based on Greed that is Harmful to
Relationships, Society, and Environment; Poor Working Conditions,
Extensive Poverty, Corrupt Politics, Bullying, Murder, Terrorism, Mass
Shootings, War, (Greed; Taking of Life)
Sexual Contact Loneliness, Lack of Trust in Relationships, Sexually Transmitted Diseases
(STDs), Unplanned Pregnancy, Lack of Resources to Care for Children,
Orphans, Rape, Sexual Abuse of Minors, Pregnancy Outside of Committed
Relationship, Human Trafficking, Prostitution, Divorce, Death,
(Sexual Misconduct; Business in Living Beings)
Substance Abuse Racing Mind, Excessive Energy, Lack of Calmness, Insomnia/Loss of Sleep,
(Alcohol, Illicit Drugs, Loss of Memory, Loss of Occupation, Loss of Financial Stability, Loss of
Prescription Drugs, Relationships, Loss of Home, Loss of Health, Drug Addicted Infants,
Caffeine, etc) Prostitution, Death, (Substances that Cause Heedlessness; Business in
Substances That Cause Heedlessness)
Wealth Excessive Work, Excessive Ego, Lack of Time with Those Close to Us,
(Currency, Real Estate, Aggressive Decision Making Based on Greed that is Harmful to
Gold) Relationships, Society, and Environment; Poor Working Conditions,
Extensive Poverty, Financial Disasters, Excessive Debt, Murder, Terrorism,
Mass Shootings, Prostitution, War, (Greed; Taking of Life)
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The list of potential cravings and desires is endless which can lead to wrong
intentions, wrong speech, wrong actions, and wrong livelihood. Our cravings
and desires lead us to cause harm to other beings and to ourselves through
The Natural Law of Kamma, including not practicing The Five Precepts. As
we cause harm because of our cravings and desires, this harm is returned to
us due to The Natural Law of Kamma. The mind remains unEnlightened and
the discontentedness of mind continues, never reaching peacefulness,
calmness, serenity, or contentedness of mind with joy.
These are some common examples to help you see that your human
existence is merely chasing after your cravings and desires rather than living
in the moment to enjoy a life of contentedness while being “satisfied with
what is”. The list of “Potential Harmful Effects” is just an example of ways
these excessive cravings could lead to harmful effects. There are many other
cravings and potential harmful effects. The potential harmful effects are not
clear cut and absolute but potential effects based on a specific craving (i.e.
attachment).
These same cravings can be pursued as healthy goals, without an excessive
craving, that leads to beneficial outcomes for your life and society. This
would be “walking the middle way” progressing in life with interests, goals,
and objectives.
With excessive craving, we spend our time and effort fulfilling what we
“think” will make us happy, but it turns out once we acquire what we thought
would make us happy, that happiness fades and leaves us feeling not as
fulfilled. Then, the craving continues until we extinguish our cravings and
desires through the growth of attaining Enlightenment.
These aspects of life are helpful and can be healthy for our existence
however, excessive cravings in any of these areas, or others, can send the
mind into unwholesome pursuit of these cravings.
The goal is to extinguish these never ending and potentially reckless
cravings and desires while creating a life of contentment. Bringing the mind
to walk the middle way rather than harbor extensive craving, is part of this
life practice.
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Extinguishing Cravings and Desires
Some of the most challenging cravings and desires to extinguish are
excessive and reckless sexual desire or substance abuse.
These cravings, along with others, can preoccupy the mind for unlimited
amounts of time which take away from living a content life. These cravings
can cause harm to other beings through excessive use of finances that
should be allocated to home life, or excessive use of time that could be
devoted to wholesome relationships or wholesome activities rather than
chasing our cravings.
By eliminating our endless cravings and desires, we are able to pursue more
meaningful relationships and activities that produce greater benefit for
society, those close to us, and our life, without craving, anger, and ignorance
(unknowing of true reality) and without cultivation of our ego. We are better
able to focus on what we “need” for life rather than what we “want”.
Depending on the specific cravings and desires you currently have, you may
need to find help to learn how to extinguish your cravings. A life full of
excessive cravings and desires, such as listed in the above, will take you
away from enjoying a peaceful and calm existence in the human form,
perhaps inhibiting you from a deep, engaging, and rewarding life.
There are various professionals around the world who specialize in the
elimination of various addictions. Addictions, or cravings, desires, or
attachments, are all areas of our life that can be addressed through seeking
of guidance and/or professional help. Depending on the depth of your
addiction, you could potentially gain benefit from various professionals,
support groups, and/or self help programs.
Craving is the “fuel” that causes rebirth. If there is craving at the time of
death, you will be reborn into another realm of existence. So, by solving the
problem of craving, you also solve the problem of rebirth. If we are not
reborn, we do not experience sickness, aging, nor death. The
discontentedness and suffering caused by craving is completely eliminated.
Upon rebirth, most likely, you will not be reborn back into the human realm
unless the mind has attained the first or second Stage of Enlightenment.
If you can extinguish your cravings and desires prior to death, you can
experience Enlightenment. Enlightenment will be a content and peaceful
existence, in which, you will not experience discontentedness nor suffering
during the remaining time of your existence in the human realm. You will also
have peace to know you will not be reborn ever again. You can experience
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Enlightenment during life and experience unshakable peace and inner
fulfillment for your life, or you can wait until death without truly knowing the
outcome. Waiting until death is highly risky and provides no opportunity for
you to enjoy a peaceful and calm mind.
As you pursue Enlightenment, you will know you are progressing on “The
Path” because your life will continually improve as you relate to the world
around you in a more and more healthy and peaceful way. Because you are
causing less and less harm in the world, there will be less and less harm
returned allowing the mind to be completely at ease and peaceful.
As you work to eliminate your cravings and find that you have urges and
desires that draw you to the unwholesome behavior, it is important not to
allow the mind to dwell in the craving and desire. As you experience
unwholesome urges, move the mind into a constructive activity. This way,
the mind does not sit in one spot for the craving to build. This would be a
healthy application of “Right Effort” from The Eight Fold Path. You would like
to abandon the unwholesome mental states and arise wholesome mental
states, but this cannot happen with the snap of a finger. You must apply
Right Effort to move the mind into another direction that is wholesome,
cutting off the unwholesome qualities that arise in the mind.
Therefore, the practice you incorporate when you experience the urges of
your cravings is to move the mind into a different environment or activity. Go
outdoors, call a friend, go to the gym, go for a walk, or any other activity that
you might enjoy, that would change the mind from a state of craving to
something more productive and wholesome.
In the moment of recognizing a craving, you could try meditation, however,
this might keep the mind in one spot and not necessarily produce the results
you need. Oftentimes, moving the mind into a new environment or a new
activity is what’s needed to ease it out of addictive cycles, thinking, and
cravings.
Use meditation as a consistent ongoing practice to regularly train the
mind to eliminate craving with Breathing Mindfulness Meditation as
described in Chapter 11 (Meditation: Developing Your Practice). A
Practitioner will also need to practice generosity as part of their “life
practice” in daily life. Both Breathing Mindfulness Meditation and
generosity are the solutions to craving/desire/attachment.
The important goal for you is to not be a slave to your addictions and ensure
you are progressing on a path to eliminating these life altering behaviors.
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As you reduce your addictions, cravings, and desires you will notice gradual
improvements in your mental alertness, clarity, and peacefulness through
elimination of your attachments. Your relationships with those close to you
will improve and deepen. Be aware that relapses can occur but bringing a
gradual diminishing of your addictions (i.e. attachments) is normal. You
should observe a gradual tapering of your addictive behavior as you apply
“Right Effort”. If a relapse does occur, put it in the past and move forward
with your continued pursuit to extinguish the craving.
Depending on the type and severity of your addiction, increased levels of
professional help and support could be needed, or you may be able to
extinguish your cravings through your own efforts. You need to decide what
is best for you and how you need to progress to extinguish your cravings
including your craving to exist in this world.
By the time of your death, you will need to extinguish the craving to exist in
the world in any form including any desire to enjoy an afterlife with a pleasant
destination. If you still have craving to exist or any other cravings, you will be
reborn. You must even extinguish the craving to attain Enlightenment, and
pursue this as an interest, goal, or objective.
When there is craving, there is no Enlightenment.
Continue your progress to eliminate cravings and desires which is causing
the mind to be discontent. Do not get discouraged as you apply effort to
extinguish your cravings. Taper your cravings and desires until they are fully
extinguished and continue to walk The Path towards Enlightenment - a
better way of life.
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Chapter 13
Identifying Cravings:
Cultivating Non-Craving and Analysis of The Mind
In your pursuit of Enlightenment, it is highly beneficial that you develop this
most important skill.
“The Ability to Identify Your Own Cravings through Analysis of The Mind”
then developing a plan to eliminate the cravings, desires, and attachments.
The Path leading to the elimination of discontentedness and the suffering it
causes involves the “elimination of cravings, desires, and attachments”. But,
if you do not know how to identify a craving, desire, or attachment, how
could you ever eliminate them?
Because we cause our own discontentedness through cravings, we need to
eliminate our mental cravings, desires, and attachments if we are to eliminate
100% of all discontentedness from the mind.
First, you need to know what a craving/desire/attachment is:
A craving/desire/attachment/wants/expectations/grasping/holding/clinging:
a mental longing for something with a strong eagerness. The mind pulling in
a direction for objects of its affection.
Second, you need to know how to identify your own cravings through
analysis of the mind so that you can develop a plan to eliminate them. You
need to train the mind to identify cravings and eliminate them all. There is no
such thing as a “good” or “wholesome” craving.
To attain Enlightenment, a Practitioner will need to eliminate 100% of all
cravings.
To identify cravings, you should use discontentedness as the “red light” on
the dashboard helping a Practitioner observe that the mind is shaken up,
unsteady, unstable, or uncalm. When the mind is discontent, it is uncalm and
needs to be trained. Each time discontentedness arises, such as, any of
these feelings, the Practitioner needs to take active steps to identify the
cravings that led to the discontentedness and eliminate those cravings.
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- A pleasant feeling (happiness, excitement, elation, thrill, exhilaration,
euphoria, etc.)
- A painful feeling (sadness, anger, frustration, irritation, annoyance, guilt,
shame, fear, stress, anxiety, etc.)
- A feeling that is neither painful-nor-pleasant (boredom, loneliness,
shyness, displeased, uncomfortable, unsatisfied, etc.)
With awareness of mind, when the Practitioner observes these feelings exist
in the mind, they should “cut them off” and “let them go”. As any pleasant
feelings, painful feelings, or feelings that are neither painful-nor-pleasant are
arising, the mind needs to be aware of the arising feeling, then cut it off and
let it go.
If the mind is able to identify the feelings arising as just a bodily sensation
and cut it off there, that would be ideal. If not, then cut it off as a feeling in
the mind. If the Practitioner was not able to cut it off as a bodily sensation or
as a feeling in the mind, then it will affect the condition of the mind more long
term for hours, days, weeks, etc. The Practitioner will need to cut it off and
let it go as a condition of the mind. Otherwise, it will feed the mental objects
in the mind such as sensual desire, ill will, complacency, conceit, etc.
The bodily sensations, feelings, conditions of the mind, and mental objects
are referred to as The Four Foundations of Mindfulness.
The Buddha is explaining in The Four Foundations of Mindfulness the
process that is experienced as discontentedness is arising. To eliminate
discontentedness, a Practitioner will need to develop awareness of the
bodily sensations, feelings, conditions of the mind, and mental objects. The
sooner one is able to observe the arising discontentedness and cut it off so
that one can let it go, the better. If one is able to observe the bodily
sensations associated with arising discontentedness and “cut it off and let it
go” there, this Practitioner is nearing close to Enlightenment.
By cutting off and letting go of any arising discontentedness as a bodily
sensation, the Practitioner is helping the mind to not need to experience the
discontentedness as a feeling in the mind. They are guarding the mind and
protecting the mind with Right Mindfulness while also applying Right Effort
to eliminate the craving/desire/attachment that arose the discontentedness.
Over time, with enough practice, the Practitioner will have cut off and let go
of the arising discontentedness enough times that the craving/desire/
attachment that produced it will have been eliminated and there will no
longer be any discontentedness that arises associated with that specific
craving/desire/attachment. The benefits accumulate to complete liberation of
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the mind where it will no longer experience any discontentedness because
all the cravings/desires/attachments that are producing the
discontentedness have been eliminated.
But, to accomplish this goal, a Practitioner will need to develop awareness of
the bodily sensations that occur based on the arising discontentedness and
then be able to cut off and let go of any arising discontentedness as a bodily
sensation. This is accomplished through training the mind in Breathing
Mindfulness Meditation and having a well developed practice of generosity.
Both of these are providing the mind generalized training to “let go” so that it
is no longer having craving/desire/attachment resulting in experiencing the
Enlightened mind.
The approach that you are interested to employ is that if you were taking a
long distance boat trip across a large stretch of ocean, what would you do?
Would you allow the water to come into the boat and then attempt to get it
out or would you prevent the water from ever coming into the boat?
Of course, you would be interested in preventing the water from ever coming
into the boat so that it does not sink the boat.
Being aware of the bodily sensations associated with arising
discontentedness and “cutting it off and letting it go” as a bodily sensation is
the same as preventing the water from ever coming into the boat. This
ensures that the mind is not shaken up by the arising discontentedness
because it was never able to become a feeling in the mind. Through a well
developed life practice, you can train the mind to the point where this can be
accomplished effortlessly, and result in the mind experiencing
Enlightenment.
Then, once the feelings have passed and the mind is able to look inward, the
Practitioner should investigate the mind analyzing what were the cravings/
desires/attachments that caused the discontentedness. There was some
mental longing with a strong eagerness that led to the discontentedness.
The more intense the discontentedness, there is going to most likely be more
than one (1) craving that exists in the mind that caused that specific incident
of discontentedness.
Discontentedness does not arise if there is no craving/desire/attachment in
the mind, therefore, anytime a Practitioner observes the “red light” of
discontentedness arise, they will need to uncover what craving led to it, so
that the mind can actively work to eliminate those specific cravings/desires/
attachments. Just like if the red light on the dashboard of a car “lit up” the
driver would investigate the cause in order to remedy the issue, a wise
Practitioner will observe the arising discontentedness that “lit up” and then
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investigate the specific cause (craving/desire/attachment) then remedy the
issue.
Breathing Mindfulness Meditation and generosity should be developed in a
consistent and comprehensive life practice to gradually train the mind to
more easily let go of cravings. But, there are then oftentimes active steps a
Practitioner will need to take in order to eliminate a specific craving.
Once a craving or multiple cravings have been identified, you can take active
steps to eliminate the craving/desire/attachment.
For example, if the Practitioner becomes discontent when one’s mobile
phone is not readily available and the mind experiences anger, frustration,
irritation, annoyance, fear, or some other discontent feeling, then that is the
red light alerting you to become aware that the mind has craving/desire/
attachment to the mobile phone. The Practitioner can identify that the mind
has a craving/desire/attachment (a mental longing with a strong eagerness
for the mobile phone) and due to this, it has caused the mind to become
discontent when the mind thinks the phone is lost or otherwise not available.
Noticing this, a Practitioner will not only need to continue with Breathing
Mindfulness Meditation and a life practice of generosity to generally train the
mind to eliminate cravings, but also a wise Practitioner will need to put the
mind in situations where it can actively work to eliminate its specific craving
for the mobile phone.
A Practitioner might choose to purposefully and gradually move away from
the mobile phone, training the mind not to hold on to it so tightly.
The mind is not in the middle, therefore, it becomes shaken up when it does
not have the mobile phone. If the mind holds on to anything tightly, it will
cause the mind to become discontent.
The Practitioner will need to train the mind to leave the mobile phone at
home and go for walks or otherwise depart from the mobile phone, training it
to be peaceful and calm when you do not have the mobile phone. Otherwise,
the mind is going to continue to stay latched onto the mobile phone and
always want to keep it close. When the device is not close, the mind will be
shaken up by this impermanence. The mind will continue to experience
repeated cycles of discontentedness as long as the mind is latched on and
holding the mobile phone so tightly.
The mind is trying to hold on to the mobile phone permanently and when it
experiences the impermanent nature of the mobile phone, it causes itself to
become discontent.
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If a Practitioner doesn’t use discontentedness as a red light notifying them of
the cravings in the mind and does not investigate to eliminate the cravings,
then a Practitioner will just continue to experience discontentedness related
to the mobile phone over and over until it finally learns to mentally “let it go”
- not attempting to hold it so tightly.
This same example can be applied to each situation where the mind
experiences discontentedness. Anytime the mind experiences any
discontentedness whatsoever, the Practitioner should immediately apply
Right Effort to cut off and let go of the discontent feelings but then
afterwards, investigate and analyze what were the cravings/desires/
attachments that led to the discontentedness.
Through analyzing the mind in this way, a Practitioner will become an expert
at becoming aware of the arising discontentedness, cut off and let go of the
discontent feelings, then investigate what were the cravings that caused the
discontentedness so they can be eliminated, and the mind will no longer
experience discontentedness related to that specific craving, desire, or
attachment.
It is only when a Practitioner has eliminated 100% of all cravings/desires/
attachments, that the mind will then reside permanently peaceful and calm,
no longer longing with a strong eagerness for things to be done a certain
way. The mind can learn to be “satisfied with what is” and content with the
impermanent nature of the world, taking wise steps to resolve whatever
impermanent situations arise.
But, if the mind thinks that the lost mobile phone is permanent and dreads
needing to look for the mobile phone, find the mobile phone, or otherwise
acquire a new mobile phone, then the mind will react out of anger and
frustration rather than respond through the wisdom of The Natural Laws of
Existence realizing that it is impossible to maintain the mobile phone
permanently. The phone is impermanent and will leave you someday but why
react with anger and frustration? How does that help the situation?
The Path to Enlightenment is an independent journey with the guidance of
Teachers. You cannot rely on others to tell you what your cravings are, you
need to identify them for yourself. This requires training the mind in this new
skill and training the mind to be honest with yourself. In this way, we all need
to strive to pursue a more peaceful and content mind. But, Teachers can be
very helpful for you to establish the ability to identify your own cravings/
desires/attachments and then develop a plan for how to eliminate them.
Once you learn this important skill and practice it a few times, then it is just a
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matter of repeating this same approach in each situation when the mind
experiences discontentedness.
Breathing Mindfulness Meditation is the “practice” within your “life practice”
that helps you to observe the mind and be aware of what’s in the mind so
that, through training, you can develop the ability to cut off thoughts and let
them go. Breathing Mindfulness Meditation is a practice that takes time to
establish and is training the mind to become aware of thoughts and let them
go more and more easily through dedicated training.
Breathing Mindfulness Meditation is training the mind to eliminate the
unwholesome root of “craving/desire/attachment”. Practicing generosity in
daily life is also helping train the mind to “let go”. But, this generalized
training is not enough as there are active steps outside of meditation that
one needs to take in order to eliminate discontentedness in the mind.
Breathing Mindfulness Meditation is training the mind to eliminate the
unwholesome root of craving/desire/attachment while also training the mind
to develop “awareness of mind” or Right Mindfulness. With awareness of
mind and the ability to “let go”, the mind can observe unwholesome qualities
and then let go of these unwholesome qualities to arise wholesome qualities.
Taking the effort to eliminate unwholesome qualities and arise wholesome
qualities is Right Effort as part of The Eight Fold Path.
In addition to Breathing Mindfulness Meditation, you need to develop the
skill to understand that when the mind experiences discontentedness, take
active steps to identify what the mind is craving that is “causing” the mind to
be discontent. You may actually have several cravings that caused one burst
of outrage, anger, or other emotions - especially early in practice.
It is craving/desire/attachment that is causing the mind to be discontent as
described in The Four Noble Truths. Therefore, to eliminate
discontentedness a Practitioner will need to eliminate craving/desire/
attachment.
Examples of discontentedness are: happiness, excitement, elation, thrill,
exhilaration, euphoria, sadness, anger, frustration, irritation, annoyance, guilt,
shame, fear, stress, anxiety, boredom, loneliness, shyness, unsatisfied, etc.,
or even just an uncomfortable and displeased mental state.
Discontentedness is a pleasant feeling, a painful feeling, and a feeling that is
neither painful-nor-pleasant.
The Four Noble Truths explains exactly why we are experiencing
discontentedness of mind. The Second Noble Truth: Discontentedness is
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caused by our own cravings/desires/attachments because the mind wants
everything to be permanent when everything in the world is impermanent.
The Four Noble Truths explains to us that we must eliminate our cravings/
desires/attachments and practice The Eight Fold Path in order to eliminate
our own discontentedness in the mind. But, if you do not develop the ability
to identify the mind’s cravings, how could you ever eliminate them and, thus,
reach Enlightenment?
We all must develop this skill by being honest with ourselves and looking
inwardly through “analysis of the mind”. This important skill is so crucial in
the pursuit of Enlightenment. It requires investigation of the mind so that you
can observe the mind’s cravings then develop a plan to eliminate them.
Meditation and being able to identify one’s own cravings are the two
most important skills a Practitioner needs to develop on this path to the
Enlightened mind.
Unwelcome feelings and emotions are just indicators that something is not
satisfied within the mind. These unwelcome feelings indicate that the mind is
discontent. Then, you must actively take steps to investigate the mind to
discover the cravings so that they can be eliminated and the mind can be
content. By eliminating the cravings/desires/attachments, the mind will be
peaceful, calm, serene, and content with joy and not experience
discontentedness from the cravings.
Take a moment to reflect on the following questions to develop the
ability to identify cravings in the mind that cause discontentedness and
then eliminate them.
Reflect on the last time the mind was angry.
What was the situation? What made the mind angry?
It wasn’t someone else, what they said, what they did, or the situation, etc.
That’s what you may think now, but, look deeper for your own cravings/
desires/attachments that caused the anger.
What inside of the mind caused the anger? There is something or multiple
things that the mind was longing for with a strong eagerness. There was
something or multiple things the mind wanted or expected and when it did
not get that, the mind reacted with anger.
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What was the craving or cravings “that the mind is holding” that caused the
mind to be angry?
If you can identify what they were, then you are starting to develop this
important skill to identify the cravings in the mind.
If you are having challenges to understand and observe what cravings
caused the anger and other discontent feelings, then you need to reach out
to seek guidance. You can post a question into the Facebook group to seek
guidance, ask a question during a class, send a private message, or
schedule a personal guidance session with the author of this book. All
learning opportunities are offered openly and freely to “all beings”.
This is a skill that the mind will need to understand and develop. Then, once
the mind can identify the cravings, it will need to learn how to construct a
plan to eliminate the cravings from the mind.
As a Practitioner learns this process with a few different cravings, a
Practitioner can then apply this same approach to each situation where the
mind encounters discontentedness.
1.) When discontentedness occurs, cut off and let go of the pleasant
feelings, painful feelings, or feelings that are neither painful-nor-pleasant as a
bodily sensation.
2.) Reflect on the cravings/desires/attachments that led to the discontent
feelings arising.
3.) Develop a plan to eliminate the specific cravings/desires/attachments that
caused the discontent feelings to arise while maintaining a consistent
practice of Breathing Mindfulness Meditation and generosity.
4.) Repeat this process for each incident of discontentedness that arises in
the mind seeking guidance with a Teacher as needed.
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Chapter 14
Cultivating Healthy Mental States:
Loving-kindness, Compassion, Sympathetic Joy,
and Equanimity
As you learn and implement The Teachings of Gotama Buddha, you will need
to cultivate the healthy mental states of loving-kindness, compassion,
sympathetic joy, and equanimity to attain Enlightenment.
These four (4) mental states are often referred to as “The Brahmā-vihāras”.
The Four (4) Brahmā-vihāras are:
1.) Loving-kindness (Pāli: mettā) is active goodwill towards all beings
without judgment. A genuine interest in seeing all beings be well.
2.) Compassion (Pāli: karuṇā) is concern for the misfortunes of others.
3.) Sympathetic joy (Pāli: muditā) is joy for others’ success, even if you did
not contribute to it.
4.) Equanimity (Pāli: upekkhā) is mental calmness, composure, and
evenness of temper, especially in a difficult situation; treating everyone
impartially.
These mental states can be cultivated through meditation and in your daily
life. Your intentions, speech, and actions should emanate from these mental
states.
Loving-kindness is the remedy for anger, hatred, ill will, hostility, aggression,
and other harsh intentions, speech, and actions. Loving-kindness also helps
eliminate judgment of others looking down on them with arrogance or
conceit. A Practitioner can train the mind to treat all beings in a polite, kind,
friendly, and respectful way, without judgment.
Compassion is the remedy for lack of care, indifference, worry, and anxiety.
Sympathetic joy is the remedy for envy, jealousy, and pride.
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Equanimity is the remedy for an overactive mind that has restlessness and
worry, it helps to cultivate patience. Equanimity will also assist a Practitioner
to eliminate measuring and comparing beings treating all beings equally.
As you experience life, it is important to practice equanimity in all situations.
Mental calmness, composure, and evenness of temper while treating
everyone impartially without judgment, are mental states that will help you
trust all beings.
One way of cultivating these mental states is through generous deeds,
practicing generosity. Through the practice of giving and helping others, you
do so with a mind of loving-kindness, compassion, sympathetic joy, and
equanimity.
No one can give you a magic potion or secret spell that will cultivate these
qualities for the mind. You will need to apply these in practice through your
intentions, speech, and actions.
Meditation can help you cultivate these mental states internally so that your
intentions, speech, and actions emanate from these mental qualities. Give
the mind time to gradually cultivate these mental states through meditation
and your life practice.
By practicing these mental states and ensuring that your intentions, speech,
and actions reflect these mental qualities, you will ensure you are producing
healthy and wholesome Kamma at all times.
Another quality of the mind that you need to cultivate is one of generosity.
Generosity is a readiness and taking the action of frequently giving
something more than is strictly necessary, such as time, effort, energy,
financial support, or resources without any expectation of anything in return.
A practice of giving and helping others as part of an ongoing and
comprehensive life practice. This action can help you develop and cultivate a
more caring and compassionate mind as one chooses to consistently give
and share through their life to eliminate selfishness. Generosity eliminates
craving/desire/attachment in the mind, thus, helping to eliminate discontent
feelings from the mind.
Generosity is to give and help others without any expectation of benefit for
yourself. Through giving and helping others, we develop loving-kindness and
compassion while also practicing non-attachment to our own possessions or
wealth. By sharing, the mind practices generosity and non-attachment,
which helps the mind to realize the interconnected nature of all beings
through sharing with humanity.
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We can be giving with our time, effort, energy, and resources. By helping
others through our unselfish acts of giving our time, effort, energy, and
resources for beneficial causes, we are producing good and healthy benefit
for other beings and to humanity while applying effort to eliminate
selfishness. The unEnlightened mind will oftentimes pursue its own selfish
desires but this can be remedied through giving and sharing without the
expectation of anything in return.
You should make regular efforts to help others in need through giving with
daily efforts to strive in cultivating loving-kindness, compassion, sympathetic
joy, and equanimity.
The Path to Enlightenment encompasses many Teachings a Practitioner will
need to learn and practice to attain Enlightenment. The Brahmā-vihāras are
four mental states that are crucial in the development of the mind. It is not
until a Practitioner has fully cultivated The Brahmā-vihāras and practice them
daily that the mind will move closer to Enlightenment.
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Chapter 15
True Love:
Love Without Attachment
Having caring and loving relationships is an enjoyable part of life. It is
possible to have care and love for other people while practicing these
Teachings. In fact, a Practitioner of these Teachings will find that care and
love are central aspects at the core of these Teachings. But you will need to
understand what is “true love” in order to experience the joy of loving
relationships without attachment.
You may find yourself currently defining love as attachment. What you may
see as love is actually not love at all but attachment.
You seek out relationships or look within existing relationships for how the
other person will make you happy. You desire for the relationship to create
happiness for you. You seek happiness through relationships with others as
if these relationships will help to “complete” you, making you feel whole.
We tend to sabotage relationships by inadvertently placing unrealistic
obligations and expectations on the other party to make us happy, when it is
impossible for anyone to meet this expectation. The feeling often becomes
that “I love you” and therefore I expect you to make me happy.
We may form expectations for the other person in a relationship far beyond
just the need to make us happy. The obligations and expectations we form
are mental cravings/desires/attachments that constantly change because
they are impermanent. The other person will find it impossible to meet ever
changing and unrealistic expectations we have for them, especially
considering these unrealistic expectations are oftentimes unspoken.
Even if we did share our expectations for the other person, the expectations
are still cravings/desires/attachments we have that unless met, will cause the
mind to be discontent. The expectation that we will be “happy” all the time in
a relationship is actually an unrealistic expectation as happiness is
impermanent and is not lasting.
The mind creating expectations in this way forms attachment to the other
person. The mind is relying on the other person for comfort and pleasant
feelings, therefore not being content on your own. We often think that
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without this other party in our life, we are unable to be happy or have fulfilling
experiences.
It is this “mental longing for something with a strong eagerness” (i.e. craving/
desire/attachment) we have for another party to make us happy that forms
our mental attachment, that will lead to a discontent mind. Any and all
attachments will lead to discontentedness of mind. So we must learn to have
care and love without attachment to others.
If you form obligations and expectations for the other person to fulfill, those
obligations and expectations are impermanent in that they will never remain
the same. Therefore, the other person will find it impossible to fulfill your
expectations and the mind will be discontent because things do not happen
as you expect.
As you move forward in a relationship with craving/desire/attachment, you
may find that you argue, fight, or have disagreements that lead to frustration,
irritation, and tension in the relationship because both parties are pulling in
opposite directions towards the very different obligations and expectations
of each person.
The pleasant feelings that once existed are no longer present or part of the
relationship, so one or both people lose interest in the relationship.
The other situation might be that both people continue to struggle trying to
make the relationship work, not realizing that it is actually their own
obligations and expectations, i.e. cravings/desires/attachments, that are
making it increasingly challenging to have a peaceful relationship. We are
actually sabotaging our own ability to have a successful relationship. We
oftentimes think the other person is the problem, rather than look at our own
mind for the source of the problem.
Even if the relationship starts heading in the same direction with similar
expectations, those expectations change due to impermanence and leads to
problems as the relationship continues.
Eventually both parties in the relationship will end up with very different
expectations and neither are being fulfilled 100%, so the mind of one or both
becomes discontent with less and less interest in maintaining the
relationship. It feels that the love is gone but, in fact, it is the unfulfilled
obligations and expectations, i.e. cravings/desires/attachments, that are
causing the mind to be discontent.
Attachment in relationships will lead to tension and conflict that ultimately
becomes division and separation, oftentimes lasting an entire lifetime.
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It feels that the love is gone because neither person is getting what they
“want”, “desire”, or “crave” in the relationship when if there were no
obligations or expectations, the relationship could be peaceful.
You may even decide to block people from your life who are disagreeable to
you, erecting walls to ensure you have no contact with these people. This is
aversion.
Of course, there needs to be politeness, kindness, friendliness, and respect
within all relationships, but other than these basic foundations of any healthy
relationship, we typically have obligations and expectations far beyond these
basic foundational requirements. We can oftentimes hold relationships too
tightly with obligations and expectations and because of that, we “crush it”.
Ideally, both people would already be fulfilled and come into the relationship
appreciating each other and their individual contentedness. But, this is rare
and is why relationships are oftentimes a significant struggle for the
unEnlightened mind where you experience many difficulties in developing
and maintaining relationships due to the constant arising of
discontentedness within the relationship.
What is True Love?
True love is to have care for another person, not wanting anything specific
from the relationship but instead, only having an interest to see this person
be well and peaceful. A relationship with true love would be formed and
conducted with no intentions or interest other than to see the person
succeed in life in whatever way they choose to progress and walk forward.
We “love them as they are”.
Having a relationship without craving/desire/attachment would involve
allowing an individual to walk whatever path they choose while you show
care and support along the way. You would not have obligations nor
expectations of who they are or what they should become but instead, allow
their life to flow and progress based on their own personal choices,
uninfluenced by obligations or expectations from you. This is true love, and
this unconditional love can be permanent.
This type of relationship is possible with life partners, children, parents,
friends, and any other relationships we form. We can have unconditional love
for “all beings” when a Practitioner understands true love and practices true
love.
Until you have learned these Teachings and practice establishing
relationships with “true love”, most will find creating relationships with “love”
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very difficult and unpleasant. This is because we tend to approach
relationships with an understanding that craving/desire/attachment is love,
rather than understanding how to love and care for someone by practicing
“true love” without attachment.
It is not until the mind wakes up to understand this wisdom, learning and
practicing “true love” that you will find relationships more relaxed, enjoyable,
and without stress. Otherwise, the obligations and expectations you have for
the people around you will create hostility and complications, that will make
it difficult for you to experience caring, loving, and lasting relationships.
No one is ever going to meet all the obligations and expectations you have
for them, so eliminate the expectations, eliminate the cravings/desires/
attachments, and you will find rewarding and successful relationships which
are quite enjoyable and even more fulfilling.
Judgment and expectations of others make it difficult to see others as “they
truly are” and “love them as they are”.
Love Ourself
Just as we have expectations for others, which can stand in the way and
cause conflict, having excessive or unrealistic expectations for ourselves can
create internal conflicts. Negative self talk, guilt, shame, and other feelings
can all manifest through craving/desire/attachment to thoughts, ideas,
perceptions, obligations, and expectations we have of ourselves.
If we judge ourself, we often judge others as well, causing the mind to be
discontent. Negative thoughts directed at us from our own mind can be
eradicated by eliminating negative thoughts or judgment towards others.
It is best to have dedication and commitment to learning and practicing
these Teachings with understanding that gradual training will be needed to
attain results. If we have expectations for drastic and quick improvements,
this craving for rapid success or other expectations will only cause a
discontent mind.
To have ego or conceit based love towards ourself, is unfruitful. However,
having a positive and wholesome outlook for ourself, others, and the world
around us, will produce a healthy mind.
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Love for Parents or Caregivers
Gotama Buddha’s Teachings share many important Teachings related to
relationships with others especially our parents. Today, parents could be our
biological parents, adopted parents, grandparents, or other caregivers who
provide us our start in life and look after us.
It is these people who provide us clothing, food, books, education, and other
necessities to start our life, and who have the most influence on shaping the
mind. They are our “original Teachers” that gave us our start in life
understanding how to complete basic tasks like brushing our teeth, cleaning
the body, eating, urinating, defecating, and other life sustaining activities.
Some parents or caregivers have provided us wisdom well beyond these
basic tasks. Without this guidance, we would be unable to sustain our life.
Having healthy relationships with all people is important but it is very
important that we show our gratitude to those caregivers who provide us
care to sustain our life and attempt to give us life lessons to assist us on our
journey in this life.
Whether this is the first book you have ever read that shares Gotama
Buddha’s Teachings or not, you have always had people around you that
taught you that it is unwise to kill other beings, to steal, to commit sexual
misconduct, to lie, and to ingest substances that cause heedlessness. These
initial lessons are typically shared with us by our original Teachers, our
“parents” or “caregivers”.
The below Teaching is directly from Gotama Buddha that can help you to
understand one of his Teachings related to caring for our parents, our
“original” and oftentimes “most dedicated” Teachers.
We should always and forever look for ways to show gratitude, respect, and
dedication to our parents or caregivers.
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Repaying One’s Mother and Father
Monks, there are two persons that cannot easily be repaid.
What two?
One’s mother and father.
Even if one should carry about one’s mother on one shoulder and one’s father on the
other, and (while doing so) should have a life span of a hundred years, live for a hundred
years; and if one should attend to them by anointing them with balms, by massaging,
bathing, and rubbing their limbs, and they even void their urine and excrement there,
one still would not have done enough for one's parents, nor would one have repaid
them.
Even if one were to establish one’s parents as the Supreme Lords and Rulers over this
great earth abounding in the seven treasures, one still would not have done enough for
one's parents, nor would one have repaid them.
For what reason?
Parents are of great help to their children; they bring them up, feed them, and show
them the world.
But, Monks, if, when one’s parents lack confidence, one encourages, settles, and
establishes them in confidence; if, when one’s parents are unwholesome, one
encourages, settles, and establishes them in virtuous behavior (moral conduct); if, when
one’s parents are selfish, one encourages, settles, and establishes them in generosity;
if, when one’s parents are unwise, one encourages, settles, and establishes them in
wisdom: in such a way, one has done enough for one’s parents, repaid them, and done
more than enough for them.
(Gotama Buddha)
(Reference: AN 2.33)
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Repaying One’s Mother and Father (continued)
Author’s Thoughts: We are born into the world to parents who provide us care or
needs to sustain life. In some situations, our parents may lack the understanding or
ability to guide us in the way that we expect. The expectations we have of our parents,
what they should be and how they should function as our parents, can cause us to be
discontent and have a strained relationship at best.
It is important to understand that our parents gave us life. They brought us into the
world and provided the care needed to sustain our life. These actions alone require
tireless effort. This same Teaching can be applied to grandparents, non-biological
parents, and the full range of caregivers who contributed to your upbringing and care
from infancy to adulthood.
What Gotama Buddha is sharing here is that parents provide great help to their children
to “bring them up, feed them, and show them the world”. The amount of work and
effort involved in just clothing, feeding, bathing, and guiding children in the world is
exhaustive. Our parents do not always have the training or wisdom to guide us in the
way that we “want” to be guided. Our obligations and expectations of our parents can
leave us feeling abandoned, left out, or unloved. But these are just the feelings and
emotions we have assigned to the lack of our parents meeting our own obligations and
expectations we set for them. This is most likely not how our parents actually feel
towards us.
If a child can be appreciative of the fact that our parents went through extensive and
exhaustive efforts to bring us into the world and sustain our life, the way we repay an
unwise parent, is to, when we are ready, provide them encouragement in developing
confidence in The Buddha, The Teachings, and The Community along with developing
virtuous behavior, generosity, and wisdom. In this way, then we have done enough for
our parents.
If we have gained wisdom and understanding that can help our parents to realize a
better life, we need to find humble ways to share that wisdom with our parents and
provide them guidance in these Teachings that will improve their life as repayment for
the guidance they gave us as a child, and do so without attachment to the outcome.
Our parents are rarely going to meet the expectations we have of a “perfect parent”. If
we eliminate the expectations (i.e. the cravings/desires/attachments), and understand
we have the parents we have and then be thankful for the life that they have given us,
then perhaps we can eliminate whatever expectations we have and provide them
unconditional “true love” that guides them in developing confidence, virtuous behavior,
generosity, and wisdom.
This requires that we are learning and practicing these Teachings so that we can more
readily provide the wisdom that our parents would need, to improve the quality of the
mind based on our intimate understanding of The Teachings and how to practice them.
We need to lead by example through a well established practice of these Teachings.
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Life Partners
If you choose to have a life partner, look for individuals who are aware and
practicing these same Teachings that you know to be beneficial to a content
mind and a peaceful life. Find a partner who is dedicated to learning and
practicing The Five Precepts, The Eight Fold Path, The Brahmā-vihāras and
all these important Teachings from Gotama Buddha. Doing this, without ego,
will help you both walk the same direction in life. You can both walk towards
Enlightenment supporting each other’s growth and progress.
You will most likely not find perfection or the person of your dreams because
that person only exists in the mind. But you could find someone who agrees
that this same “life practice” is a worthwhile pursuit, so that you can base
your life together and your family’s life around the foundation and core
principles of these Teachings.
Selecting a life partner based on these Teachings will create more harmony
and peacefulness in the relationship and the life you intend to share together.
A relationship that will potentially be part of your very last life without any
future rebirths as you both progress towards Enlightenment and ultimately
achieve it.
You are not going to find the perfect partner, that only exists in your own
mind as a dream. But, you could find a partner who is an imperfect being
who is willing to learn, grow, and do the work along with you on The Path to
Enlightenment. Just as you are imperfect, they will also be imperfect. But
supporting and encouraging each other, you can create the perfect life
together.
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Chapter 16
Dissolving the Ego:
Ego Serves No Purpose
Our ego is a collection of experiences from the past and our future
expectations of ourselves. Ego is the accumulation of thoughts, ideas, and
perceptions that we have of our self image and self identity. The ego will
contain arrogance, pride, judgment, and measure and compare itself as
superior or inferior to others.
Dissolving the ego can be one of the hardest and most difficult aspects in
the pursuit of Enlightenment. So, it's best to start learning to dissolve the
ego early in your practice while ensuring to deeply explore this topic with the
guidance of a Teacher.
Through our past experiences and the future expectations we have of
ourselves, we acquire a personal image of who we think we are but it’s a
delusion and our ego serves no purpose. The elimination of the ego is
required to attain Enlightenment.
All our intentions, speech, and actions can be born out of our ego. We
protect our ego at all costs. It is often one of the strongest attachments we
have and is why it is one of the last things to go and easy to pick back up.
Oftentimes we judge others through our ego. We reflect those unwholesome
qualities that exist inside of us onto others thinking it is the other person who
has these unwholesome qualities when, in fact, it’s actually our ego looking
at itself.
We think someone is trying to be SO smart and show everyone how
intelligent they are when, in fact, it is us who are the ones with this behavior.
We sometimes look at others with jealousy because they are trying to look
so important or beautiful. When, in fact, it is us who is desiring and craving
this attention.
We often look at others as having ego, when it is us who has the ego.
Do you see a theme?
What we think and judge of others is what’s inside of us. We see others and
it is like viewing a mirror. We see certain qualities in others because those are
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the most present qualities within our own mind, so we project it to others
and think it’s coming from them. We project the ego onto others and read the
reflection as if it’s coming from the other person when, in fact, it is us.
This is one reason you should not judge another being but focus only on
your own practice and development of the mind. Do not be concerned with
another person’s “life practice” or how well you think they are or are not
practicing these Teachings. Judgment serves you no purpose and only
harms your own mind. You should only be encouraging, helpful, and polite
with loving-kindness and compassion for all beings.
Judgment: attempting to determine what is right or wrong for another person
while placing oneself above others with arrogance or pride (i.e. the ego).
Comparing that one is superior or inferior to another person. Attempting to
declare who is wholesome or unwholesome, good or bad. Judgment is
based in “conceit”. Judgment is harmful to the mind and needs to be
eliminated to attain Enlightenment.
Instead of judging others, you would like to practice discernment.
Discernment: is wise decision making based in wisdom. Discernment is
helpful to the mind and needs to be cultivated to attain Enlightenment.
During Gotama Buddha’s lifetime, the word “ego” was not available for use.
The word ego did not come into use until recent times. Gotama Buddha
referred to two different aspects of the mind that we now refer to as “the
ego”.
The Ten Fetters taught by Gotama Buddha refer to “personal existence view”
and “conceit” as what we refer to as “the ego”. These two (2) fetters/taints/
pollutions of mind need to be eliminated and completely dissolved to
eradicate the ego on The Path to Enlightenment.
Personal existence view: Eliminating the concept of a permanent self from
the mind. Realization of non-self.
Conceit: Elimination of arrogance, pride, judging, measuring or comparing
as superior or inferior to others. Ego completely dissolved.
The Ten Fetters are the ten (10) individual aspects of the mind that need
to be eliminated to attain Enlightenment. The word “fetter” is defined as:
“a chain or shackle used to restrain a prisoner, typically placed around
the ankles”. The Ten Fetters are essentially keeping a being trapped in
The Cycle of Rebirth bound to the endless cycle of continuous rebirth
experiencing discontentedness over countless lifetimes.
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