Critiqued its own draftSCORE: 2
KEEP: repeatable chorus hook
FIX: 1) Replace dense tech jargon with punchy, relatable imagery that still hints at expertise. 2) Tighten the meter—aim for a consistent 8–10 beat line in each verse and chorus. 3) Add a light, witty twist (e.g., a playful pun or a quirky metaphor) to hit the “clever, lightly funny” target.