diff --git "a/faiss_index_file.chunks.json" "b/faiss_index_file.chunks.json" new file mode 100644--- /dev/null +++ "b/faiss_index_file.chunks.json" @@ -0,0 +1,2330 @@ +[ + " \nBegin Reading\nTable of Contents\nAbout the Author\nCopyright Page\n \nThank you for buying this\nSt. Martin's Press ebook.\n \nTo receive special of fers, bonus content,\nand info on new releases and other ", + "great reads,\nsign up for our newsletters.\n \nOr visit us online at\nus.macmillan.com/newslettersignup\n \nFor email updates on the author , click here.\n \nThe author and publisher have provided this e-book", + " to you for your\npersonal use only. You may not make this e-book publicly available\nin any way. Copyright infringement is against the law . If you\nbelieve the copy of this e-book you are reading infri", + "ng es on the\nauthor ’ s co pyright, ple ase notify the publi sher at:\nus.macmillanusa.com/piracy .\nForeword\nMany years ago, Bill Bonnstetter and his son David developed a\nrevolutionary software system", + " based on the DISC method —a way of\ndescribing human communication and classifying behavior and the\nmethod that is used throug hout this book. Sadly , Bill has since\npassed away , but David continues ", + "to run their company—TTI\nSuccess Insigh ts—to this day. From its humble origins in rural Iowa,\nthis method of behavior profiling has now been used by businesses\nand corporations all around the world.\n", + "It all began with one question. A simple, specific question : Could an\nagricultural salesperson sell more seed simply by looking at a farm?\nAs a child growing up in rural Iowa, I watched my father app", + "ly the\nfoundational principles of William Moulton Marston’ s Emotions of\nNormal People. At the time, my father was focused on Buyer Profile\nBlending, giving agricultural salespeople the knowledge of ", + "Marston’ s\ntools to better understand themselves and their farmer customers. I\ncan still recall the earliest days, sitting at a knotty-pine table over\nmeals of hot pork tenderloins and roast corn, whe", + "n my father was\nworking through his observations. “Pristine driveways and neat\ngroves? Definitely a Blue. New and experimental livestock and\nbuildings? Y ou’re looking at a Red.”\nAlthough we were clos", + "e, our paths were incredibly different. My\nfather , a true entrepreneur and Red/Y ellow in every sense of the\nphrase, was driven to build consulting firms and agencies that\nhelped salespe ople refine ", + "their craft. I sought the collegiate path,\nattending university at the University of Iowa, leanin g into my\nRed/Blue nature while studying accounting and computer science. I\nspent my free time in the ", + "computer lab, pouring my soul into\nprograms through my fingertips. While I was studying, my father\nperfected his wizardlike ability to understand people.\nMy father and I always remained close and spok", + "e to each other\nmost weeks, even though we were at different milestones in our\nlives. While I was studying at the University of Iowa, my father sat\nme down and asked me about contributing to his ventu", + "re. He asked,\n“What if we could couple your ability to develop software with my\nability to analyze human behavior?” I was ambitious, hungry for fun\ncoding work, and proceeded to embark on the most exc", + "iting journey\nof my life. Together , we built a software system that would produce\nreports about human behavior . This was a multiplying factor; soon\nwe were able to reach more people and reveal a per", + "son ’s potential\nthrough 3.5-inch floppy disks and twenty-four-page reports. My\nfather and I built a company , TTI Success Insights, in 1984 in Iowa to\ndo just that.\nOver time, we escaped the frigid w", + "inters in the Midwes t of the\nUnited States, relocated ourselves, our families, and our business to\nsunny and warm Scottsdale, Arizona. In the late nineties, we began\nusing the web for distribution ", + "of our famed assessments. Today , we\nhave a thriving business with distributors all over the world.\nUp until now, you might have wondered why you are so different.\nHuman behavior is, for the most part", + ", complex and nebulous. In\nsome cases, the people around us are idiotic. Understanding human\nbehavior is a never-ending task, an endless pursuit to know the how,\nwhat, and why behind a person’ s choic", + "es. It is both easy and\ndangerous to categorize someone who behaves differently from you\nas ignorant, wrong, or even thickheaded. Today’ s world requires a\nmore sophisticated understanding where you v", + "alue a person for his\nor her strengths and weaknesses.\nMy father has since passed on. But the purpose we invoked, to\nreveal human potential, continues to live on. This book is written\nabout the concep", + "ts my father applied in sales trainings and applies\nthem to an even more complex situation—understanding the idiots\nwho surround us all.\nAs you read, I think you will understand the worth of a Red, a\n", + "Yellow , a Green, and a Blue. I hope you will pull away some practical\nadvice in communicating effectively with each type. But the most\nimportant lesso n that you can walk away with is that the idiots", + " who\nsurround you are, in fact, not idiots at all. Instead, they are\nindividuals worthy of respect, understanding, and being valued.\nAnyone can use the frame works outlined in this book to get\nahead i", + "n the game of life. And look at it this way: If you don’t\nunderstand and use the princ iples, you’ll continue to be surrounded\nby idiots. And nobody wants that.\n—David Bonnstetter\nChief Executive Offi", + "cer\nTTI Success Insights\nIntroduction\nThe Man Who W as Surrounded by Idiots\nI was in high school when I first noticed that I got along better with\ncertain people rather than others. It was easy to tal", + "k to some of my\nfriends; in any conversation, we always found the right words and\neverything just flowed smoothly . There were never any conflicts, and\nwe liked one another . With other people, howev", + "er , everything just\nwent wrong. What I said fell on deaf ears, and I couldn’t understand\nwhy.\nWhy was speaking to some people so easy, while others were\ntotal blockheads? Since I was young, this cert", + "ainly wasn’t something\nthat kept me awake at night. However , I still remember puzzling over\nwhy some conversations flowed naturally , while others didn’t even\nstart—no matter how I conducted myself. ", + "It was just\nincomprehensible. I began using different methods to test people. I\ntried to say the same things in similar contexts just to see what\nreaction I got. Sometimes it actually worked and an in", + "teresting\ndiscussion developed. On other occasions, nothing happened at all.\nPeople just stared at me as if I were from another planet, and\nsometimes it really felt that way .\nWhen we’re young, we ten", + "d to think of things very simply .\nBecause some people in my circle of friends reacted in a normal way\nthat meant, of course, that they were automatically the good guys.\nAnd so I just assumed there wa", + "s something wrong with the people\nwho didn’t understand me. What other explanation could there\npossibly be? I was the same all the time! Certain people just had\nsomething wrong with them. So I simply ", + "began to avoid these weird,\ndifficult people because I didn’t understand them. Call it the naïveté\nof youth if you will, but it did give rise to some amusing\nconsequences. In later years, however , a", + "ll of this changed.\nLife went on with work, family, and career , and I continued to\npigeonhole people into two groups—good and sensible people and\nall the rest, the people who didn’t seem to understan", + "d anything at all.\nWhen I was twenty-five years old, I met with a man who was self-\nemployed. Now in his sixties, Sture had founded his own business\nand built it up for many years. I was given the tas", + "k of interviewing\nhim just before a new project was to be implemented. We started\ntalking about how things were functioning in his organization. One of\nthe very first comments Sture made was that he ", + "was surrounded by\nidiots. I remem ber laughing at the time because I thoug ht it was a\njoke. But he truly meant what he said. His face turned crimson as he\nexplained to me that the people working in D", + "epartment A were\ncomplete idiots, every single one of them. In Department B you\nfound only fools who unders tood nothing at all. And he hadn’t even\ncome to Department C yet! They were the worst of all", + "! They were so\nweird that Sture couldn’t fathom how they even made it to work in\nthe mornings.\nThe more I listened to him, the more I realized that there was\nsomething very odd about this story . I as", + "ked him if he really believed\nthat he was surrounded by idiots. He glared at me and explained that\nvery few of his employees were worth having.\nSture had no issue letting his employees know how he fel", + "t. He\ndidn’t hesitate in the least to call anyone an idiot in front of the whole\ncompany . This meant that his employees learned to avoid him. No\none dared to have one-to-one meetings with him; he nev", + "er got to\nhear bad news because he would often shoot the messenger . At one\nof the offices, a warning light had even been mounted at the\nentrance to the building. Discreetly placed above the reception", + " desk,\nthe light went red when he was there and turned green when he was\naway .\nEveryone knew about this. Not only staff but even clients would\nautomatically cast a nervous glance at the light to find", + " out what\nawaited them when they stepped over the threshold. If the light was\nred, some people would simply turn back at the door, deciding to\ncome back at a more opportune time.\nAs we all know , when", + " you’re young you are full of great ideas. So\nI asked the only question I could think of: “Who hired all these\nidiots?” I knew , of course, that he had hired most of them. What was\nworse was that Stur", + "e unders tood exactly what I had implied. What I\nimplicitly asked was: Who is actually the idiot here?\nSture threw me out. Later on, I was told that what he really\nwanted to do was fetch a shotgun and", + " shoot me.\nThis incident got me thinking. Here was a man who would soon\nretire. He was obviously a proficient entrepreneur , highly respected\nfor his sound knowledge of his particular line of busine s", + "s. But he\ncouldn’t handle people. He didn’t understand the most critical,\ncomplicated resource in an organization—the employees. And\nanyone he couldn’t understand was simply an idiot.\nSince I was from", + " outside the company , I could easily see how\nwrong his thinking was. Sture didn’t grasp that he always compared\npeople to himself. His definition of idiocy was simply anyone who\ndidn’t think or act l", + "ike him. He used expressions that I also used to\nuse about certain types of people: “arrogant windbags,” “red-tape\njackasses,” “rude bastards,” and “tedious blockheads.” Although I\nnever called peopl", + "e idiots, at least not so they could hear me, I had\nobvious problems with certain types of people.\nIt was an utterly appalling thought to have to go through life\nconstantly thinking that I was surroun", + "ded by people who were\nimpossible to work with. It would make my own potential in life so\nunbelievably limited.\nI tried to see myself in the mirror . The decision was easy to make.\nI didn’t want to be", + " like Sture . After a particularly toxic meeting with\nhim and some of his unfortunate colleagues, I sat in the car with a\nlump in my stomach. The meeting had been a total disaster .\nEveryone was furi", + "ous. There and then I decided to learn what is\nprobably the most important knowledge of all—how people function.\nI would be encountering people for the rest of my life, no matter what\nmy profession wa", + "s, and it was easy to see that I would benefit by\nbeing able to understand them.\nI immediately began to study how to understand the peop le who\ninitially seem so difficult. Why are some people silent", + ", why do others\nnever stop talking, why do some people always tell the truth while\nothers never do? Why do some of my colleagues always arrive on\ntime, while others rarely manage to? And even why did ", + "I like some\npeople more than others? The insights I gained were fascinating,\nand I’ve never been the same since I began this journey . The\nknowledge I acquired has changed me as a person, as a friend,", + " as a\ncolleague, as a son, as a husband, and as the father of my children.\nThis book is about what is perhaps the world’ s most widely used\nmethod to describe the differences in human communication. T", + "his\nmethod is called the DISA—a n acronym that stands for Dominance,\nInducement, Submission, and Analytic ability—system. These four\nterms are the primary behav ior types, which describe how people\nse", + "es themselves in relationship to their environment. Each of these\nbehavior types is associated with a color—Red, Yellow , Green, and\nBlue. This system is also commonly called the DISC system, where\nth", + "e final letter of the acronym stands for Compliance instead of\nAnalytic ability . I have used variations of this tool for over twenty\nyears with excellent results.\nBut how do you become really , truly", + " proficient at handling\ndifferent types of people? There are, of course, various methods.\nThe most common method is to research the matter and learn the\nbasics. But learning the theoretical part doesn", + "’t make you a world-\nclass communicator . It’s only when you begin using this knowledge\nthat you can develop real and functioning competence in the field.\nJust like learning to ride a bike—you have ge", + "t on the bike first. Only\nthen do you realize what you need to do.\nSince I began studying how people function and painstakingly\nstrove to understand the differences in the way we communicate,\nI’ve nev", + "er been the same. I’m not as categorical anymore, judging\npeople just because they are not like me. For many years now, my\npatience with people who are the complete opposite of me has been\nfar greater", + " . I wouldn’t go so far as to say that I never get involved in\nconflicts, just as I wouldn’t try to convince you that I never lie, but\nboth these things happen very seldom now .\nI have one thing to th", + "ank Sture for—he awakened my interest in\nthe subject. Without him, this book would probably never have been\nwritten.\nWhat can you do to increase your knowledge about how people\nrelate and communicate?", + " A good start may be to keep reading this\nbook—the whole book, not just the first three chapters. With a little\nluck, in a few minutes you can begin the same journey I began\ntwenty years ago. I promis", + "e you will not regret it.\nOne thing to note: To simplify reading this book, I have chosen to\nuse “him” and “he” consis tently when I refer to examples not\nassociated with any specific person. I know t", + "hat you have enough\nimagination to insert a “her” or “she” in your thoughts where this may\nbe appropriate\n1\nCommunication Happens on the\nListener’s Terms\nDoes that sound strange? Let me explain. Every", + "thing you say to a\nperson is filtered through his frames of reference, biases, and\npreconceived ideas. What remains is ultimately the message that he\nunderstands. For many different reasons, he can in", + "terpret what you\nwant to convey in a totally different way than you intende d. What is\nactually understood will, naturally , vary depending on who you are\nspeaking to, but it is very rare that the en", + "tire message gets through\nexactly as you conceived it in your mind.\nIt may feel depressing knowin g that you have so little control over\nwhat your listener understands. No matter how much sense you\nwo", + "uld like to knock into the other person’ s head, there’ s not that\nmuch you can do about it. This is one of the many challenges of\ncommunication. You simply can’t change how the listener functions.\nHo", + "wever , most people are aware of and sensitive to how they want\nto be treated. By adjusting yourself to how other people want to be\ntreated, you become more ef fective in your communication.\nWhy Is Th", + "is So Important?\nYou help other people unders tand you by creating a secure arena for\ncommunication—on their terms. Then the listener can use his energy\nto unde rstand rather than to consciously or un", + "conscious ly react to\nyour manner of communicating.\nAll of us need to develop our flexibility and so be able to vary our\nstyle of communication, adapting it when we speak to people who\nare different f", + "rom us. Here we find another truth: No matter what\nmethod you choose to communicate with, as an individual, you will\nalways be in the minority . No matter what kind of behavior you have,\nthe majority ", + "of people aroun d you will function differently from you.\nYou can’t just base your method of communication on your own\npreferences. Flexibility and the ability to interpret other people’ s\nneeds is wh", + "at characterizes a good communicator .\nKnowing and understanding another person’ s style of behavior\nand method of communicatio n will result in more educated guesses\nabout how a person may possibly r", + "eact in various situations. This\nunderstanding will also dramatically increase your ability to get\nthrough to the person in question.\nNo System Is Perfect\nLet me be clear about one important point: Th", + "is book doesn’t claim\nto be totally comprehensive with respect to how we, as people,\ncommunicate with each other . No book can do that, because the\nnumber of signals we constantly transmit to those ar", + "ound us\nwouldn’t fit into any book. Even if we could include body language,\nthe differences between male and female dialogue , cultural\ndifferences, and all the other ways to define variations in\ncomm", + "unication, we wouldn’t be able to write everything down. We\ncould add psychological aspects, graphology , age, and astrology and\nstill not get a 100 percent complete picture.\nAccording to the American", + " Journal of Business Education\n(July/August 2013), more than 50 million assessments have been\nmade using the DISA tool. And yet even with all this information\ncommunication remains a fascinating and p", + "uzzling topic. People are\nnot Excel spreadsheets. We can’t calculate everything. We’re way\ntoo intricate to be described in full. Even the youngest child is far\nmore intricate than anything that could", + " be conveyed in a book.\nHowever , we can avoid the most blatant blunders by understanding\nthe basics of human communication.\nIt’s Been Going On for a While\n“We see what we do, but we do not see why we", + " do what we do.\nThus, we assess and appraise each other through what we see that\nwe do.”\nThese words come from the psychoanalyst Carl Jung. Different\nbehavior patterns are what creates dynamism in our", + " lives. When I\nrefer to behavi or patterns, I don’t just mean how a person acts in a\nsingle instance (his actions) but rather the whole set of attitudes,\nbeliefs, and approaches that govern how a per", + "son acts. We can\nrecognize ourselves in certain behavior patterns, but other forms of\nbehavior we neither recognize nor understand. Besides, each of us\nacts differently in different situations, which ", + "can be a sourc e of either\njoy or irritation for those around us.\nThough individual actions can, of course, be right or wrong, there\nis really no pattern of behavior that is right or wrong. There is n", + "o\nsuch thing as proper behavior or incorrect behavior . You are who you\nare, and there’ s no point in wondering why. You’re fine no matter\nhow you’re wired. No matter how you choose to behave, no matt", + "er\nhow you are perceived, you are fine. Within reasonable limits, of\ncourse.\nIn a perfect world, it would be easy just to say, “I’m a particular\nkind of person and it’s okay because I read it in a bo", + "ok. That’ s just\nhow I am and this is how I act.” Sure, wouldn’t it be great not to have\nto mish andle your own behavior? To always be able to act and\nbehave precisely as you feel at the time? You can", + " do that. You can\nbehave exactly as you wish. All you have to do is find the right\nsituation in which to do so.\nThere are two situations in which you can just be you:\nThe first situati on is when you’", + "re alone in a room. Then it doesn’t\nmatter how you speak or what you do. It doesn’t hurt anyone if you\nscream and swear or if you just want to sit silently and ponder the\ngreat mysteries of life or w", + "onder why fashion models always look so\nmad. In your solitude, you can behave exactly the way you feel.\nSimple, isn’t it?\nThe second situation where you can completely be yourself is\nwhen all the othe", + "r people in the room are exactly like you. What did\nour mothers teach us? Treat others as you want to be treated.\nExcellent advice and very well intentioned. And it works, too—as\nlong as everyone is j", + "ust like you. All you need to do is make a list of\nall the people you know who believe, think, and act exactly like you\nin all situations. Now just give them a call and start hanging out.\nIn any other", + " situation, it might be a good idea to understa nd how\nyou are perceived and to learn how other people function. I don’t\nthink I will make headlines by saying that most people you meet\naren’t like you", + ".\nWords can have incredible power , but the words we choose and\nhow we use them vary. As you have seen from the title of this book,\nthere are different interpretations of—yes, you got it—words. And\nwh", + "en you use the wrong word, well, maybe then you’re an idiot.\nS u r r o u n d e d b y I d i o t s — o r N o t ?\nWhat does this actually mean? As I was writing, the following\nanalogy hit me: Behavior", + " patterns are like a toolbox. All types are\nneeded. Depending on the occasion, a tool can sometimes be right\nand some times be wrong. A thirty-pound sledgehammer is great for\ntearing down walls, but i", + "t’s hardly the thing if you want to hang a\npicture in the foyer .\nSome people are opposed to the idea of sorting people into\ndifferent behavior types. Maybe you believe that you shouldn’t\ncategorize p", + "eople in that way, that it’s wrong to pigeonhole people.\nHowever , everyone does it, perhaps in another way than I do in this\nbook, but we all register our differences nonetheless. The fact\nremains th", + "at we are differen t, and in my opinion, pointin g that out\ncan be someth ing positive if you do it in the right way. Improperly\nused, every tool can be harm ful. It’s more about the person using it\nt", + "han the tool itself. This book is your introduction to human behavior\nand dialogue. The rest is up to you.\nParts of what you are going to read I have gathered from TTI\nSuccess Insigh ts. I would like ", + "to take this opportunity to thank Sune\nGellberg and Edouard Levit for so generously sharing both their\nexperience and their training materials.\nNo Matter How Strange It Might Seem, in Theory,\nEvery Ki", + "nd of Behavior Is Normal\nN o r m a l B e h a v i o r …\n… is relatively predictable.\nEvery person reacts in a habitual manner in similar situations. But\nit’s impossible to predict every possible reac", + "tion before it\nhappens.\n… is part of a pattern.\nWe often react in consistent patterns. Therefore, we should\nrespect one another ’s patterns. And understand our own.\n… is changeable.\nWe should learn to", + " listen, act, speak openly , and reflect in order\nto do what is relevant right now . Everyone can adapt.\n… can be observed.\nWe should be able to observe and consider most forms of\nbehavior witho ut be", + "ing amateur psychologists. Everyone can take\nnote of the people around them.\n… is understandable.\nWe should be able to understand why people feel and do what\nthey do—right now . Everyone can think abo", + "ut why .\n… is unique.\nDespite the conditions that we have in common, each person’ s\nbehavior is unique to him. Succeed in your own conditions.\n… is excusable.\nDismiss personal jealousy and complaints.", + " Learn to have\ntolerance and patience, both with yourself and with others.\n2\nWhy Are We the Way We Are?\nWhere does our behavior come from? Why are people so different?\nSearch me! Very briefly , it’s a", + " combination of heredity and\nenvironment. Even before we’re born, the foundations for the\nbehavior patterns we will exhibit in adulthood have been laid. The\ntemperament and character traits we have in", + "herited affect our\nbehavior , a process already begun at the genetic stage. Exactly how\nthis works is still a bone of contention among scientists, but all are in\nagreement that it does come into play", + ". Not only do we inherit traits\nfrom our own parents but also from their parents—also in varying\ndegrees from other relatives. At some point or other , we have all\nheard that we speak like or look lik", + "e an uncle or an aunt. As a child, I\nresembled my uncle Bertil—something to do with my red hair. To\nexplain how this is genetically possible would take a tremendous\namount of time. For the moment, let", + " us just establish that this\ninheritance lays the foundation for our behavioral development.\nWhat happens once we are born? In most cases, children are\nborn impulsive, adventurous, without any barrier", + "s whatsoever . A\nchild does exactly what he wants. The child says, “No, I don’t want\nto!” or, “Sure I can!” He is immers ed in the thought that he can\nmanage just about anything at all. This kind of ", + "spontaneous and\nsometimes uncontrolled behavior is, of course, not alway s what his\nparents wished for. Then, hey presto, what was once an original\npattern of behavior begins to transform, in the best", + "/worst-case\nscenario, into a copy of someone else.\nHow Are Children Influenced?\nChildren learn and develop in multiple ways, but the most common is\nby imitation. A child mimics what he sees around him", + ", the parent of\nthe same sex often becoming the model for imitation. (This is clearly\nnot an exhaus tive study on how the process works, as this book is\nnot about how we influence our children.)\nCore", + " Values\nMy core values are found deep within me, values so deeply\nembedded in my character that it’s almost impossible to change\nthem. These are the things I learned from my parents as a child or\nthat", + " I learned in school when I was very young. In my case it was\ndifferent variat ions of “study and do well in school” or “fighting is\nwrong.” The latter , for example, means that I’ve never laid hands ", + "on\nanother person . I haven’t fought since third grade, and I seem to\nrecall that I lost then. (She was really strong.)\nAnother import ant core value is that all people are of equa l worth.\nBecause my", + " parents demons trated this to me during my childhood, I\nknow it is deeply wrong to judge a person based on his or her origin,\nsex, or color . All of us carry many such core values. We know\ninstinctiv", + "ely what is right and what is not. No one can take these core\nvalues away from me.\nAttitudes and Approaches\nThe next layer is my attitudes, which are not exactly the same thing\nas core values. Attitud", + "es are things I have formed opinions about\nbased on my own experiences or on conclusions I have drawn from\nencounters in the latter part of my schooling, high school, college, or\nmy first job. Even ex", + "periences later on in life can form attitudes.\nA relative once told me that she didn’t trust salespeople. She’s\ndefinitely not alone in having strong feelings about salespeople, but\nin her case it re", + "sulted in comical practices. She couldn’t buy anything\nwithout returni ng it. A sweater , a sofa, a car—the buyin g process\nwas endless. Every fact had to be examined and explored. No\nmatter how much ", + "research she did beforehand, she always wanted\nto return her purchases afterwards.\nOnce I had observed the pattern, I asked her why she did this,\nand she explained the reasoning behind her attitude: E", + "ighty-five\npercent of all salespeople were swindlers. Explaining that I too was a\nsalesperson had little effect. To this day, I don’t know if I belong to\nthe 85 percent or if I can count myself among ", + "the fortunate 15\npercent. The important thing is that an attitude can change. My\nrelative had probably been badly fooled a number of times and\ntherefore learned to distrust salespeople. However , if ", + "she had a\nnumber of positive experiences her opinion could change.\nT h e R e s u l t s\nBoth my core values and my attitudes affect how I choose my\nbehavior . Together they form my core behavior , the", + " real person I\nwant to be. My core behavior is how I act in complete freedom,\nwithout the influence of any external factors at all.\nYou probably already see the issue here: When are we ever\ncompletel", + "y free from external influences? When I discuss this\nquestion with groups of people in different contexts, we all usually\nagree: only when we’re sleeping.\nBut people are different. Some don’t care. Th", + "ey are always\nthemselves because they’ve never reflected upon how they are\nperceived. The stronger your self-understanding is, the greater your\nprobability of adapting to the people around you.\nHow Do", + " Others Really Perceive Me?\nThe people around you most often see your moderated behavior .\nYou interpret a specific situation and make a choice about how to act\nbased on that evaluation—this is the be", + "havior that others around you\nexperience. It’s all about the mask you wear to fit into a given\nsituation. We all have several different masks. Having one at work\nand one at home isn’t that unusual. An", + "d another one for visiting the\nin-laws, perhaps. This book is not an advanced course in psycholo gy\n—but I am content to establish that we interpret situations differently\nand act accordingly .\nConsci", + "ously or subconsciously , surrounding factors cause me to\nchoose a particular course of action.\nAnd this is how we act. Look at this formula:\nBEHA VIOR = f (P × Sf)\nBehavior is a function of Persona", + "lity and Surrounding factors .\nBehavior is that which we can observe.\nPersonality is what we try to figure out.\nSurrounding factors are things that we have an influence on.\nConclusion: We continu", + "ally affect one another in some form or\nother . The trick is to try to figure out what’ s there, under the surface.\nAnd this book is all about behavior .\n3\nAn Introduction to the System\nAt the end of ", + "this book you will find a description of the background\nto how the DISA system emerged, but since you probab ly want to\ndive into its most interesting elements—how everything works in\npractice—you can", + " just read on. Otherwise, you can always go\ndirectly to page 228.\n\nAs you can see, there are four main categories of behavior types,\neach of which is associated with a color . This book is about how y", + "ou\ncan recognize them. Quite soon, as you start reading about the\ndifferent colors, various faces will come to mind. Sometimes, maybe,\neven your own.\nAbout 80 percent of all peop le have a combinatio", + "n of two colors\nthat dominate their behavior . Approximately 5 percent have only one\ncolor that dominates behavio r. The others are dominated by three\ncolors. Throughout the book I focus on the single", + " colors individually\nbecause they are the fundamental components of a person’ s\nbehavior . It’s like a recipe—we need to understand all the ingredients\nbefore we bake the cake. Entirely Green behavior", + " , or Green in\ncombination with one other color , is the most common. The least\ncommon is entirely Red behavior , or Red behavior in combination\nwith one other color .\nMany people you meet possess qua", + "lities that you sometimes\nwish you had—you may even feel jealous of these people. They\neasily master things that you struggle with. Maybe you’d like to be\nmore decisive like Reds, or maybe you wish it", + " were easier for you to\ninteract with strangers, like Yellows. Possibly , you wish that you\ndidn’t stress so much, that you could just take it easy like Greens do,\nand perhaps you wish that you could ", + "keep your schedule in better\norder , something that’ s natural for Blues.\nNaturally , it works the other way as well. You are going to read\nthings that will help you realiz e that you too boss others ", + "around a bit\ntoo much, just like Reds tend to do. Or that you talk way too much,\nsomething that Yellows do. It might be that you take things way too\neasy, not getting involved in anything, the Greens’", + " weakness. Or\nyou’re always suspicious of everything, seeing risks everywhere, just\nlike Blues. Here you can learn to see your own pitfalls and how you\ncan take appropriate measures to get around them", + ".\nNo matter what you learn about yourself and others, take notes,\nunderline things, and engage with the material.\n4\nRed Behavior\nHow to Recognize a Real Alpha and A void Getting in His W ay\nWhat shoul", + "d we do? W e’ll do it my way . Now!\nThis is the behavior type that Hippocrates in his theory of human\ntemperament called choleric. Nowadays you might call a Red person\nbold, ambitious, driven, but als", + "o potentially hot-tempered, rash, or\ndominant. You quickly notice a Red person because he doesn’t\nmake the slightest ef fort to conceal who he is.\nA Red person is a dynamic and driven individual. He h", + "as goals in\nlife that others may find difficult to even imagine. Since his goals are\nso highly ambitious, achievin g them seems to be impossible. Reds\nstrive forward, always pushing themselves harder ", + ", and they almost\nnever give up. Their belief in their own ability is unsurpassed. They\ncarry inside them the firm belief that they can achieve anything—if\nthey just work hard enough.\nPeople who have ", + "lots of Red in their behavior are task-o riented\nextroverts and they enjoy challenges. They make quick decisions\nand are often comfortable taking the lead and taking risks. A\ncommon perception is that", + " Reds are natural leaders. These are\npeople who willingly take command and go to the fore. They are so\ndriven that they will get through despite any obstacle in their path.\nTheir disposition is ideal ", + "in competitive situations. It’s not unusual for\na CEO or a president to have lots of Red in his behavior .\nThis form of competition is present in everything Reds do. To say\nthat they constantly want t", + "o challenge and compete is probably not\nentirely true, but if a chance of winning something arises— why not?\nThe exact nature of the competition is unimportan t; it’s the\ncompetitive element that keep", + "s Reds running on all cylinders.\nPelle, one of my former neighbors, liked competing so much that\nhe developed entirely new interests just to compete. I like working in\nthe garden, and so I spend quite", + " some time doing so. Pelle didn’t like\ngardening, but when he had heard people commenting on my\nbeautiful garde n often enough he finally had enough. He started one\nproject after another , always with", + " a single but very clear objective: to\noutdo me. He confounded his wife by digging new flower beds,\nplanting a rainbow of unbelievably fabulous plants, and cultivating\nthe lawn to golf-course standard", + ". The only thing I needed to do to\nkeep him going was to merely suggest that I would purchase more\nplants. Then he would go to the local garden center quicker than you\ncould say “bad loser .”\nYou can ", + "also recognize Reds by other behavior patterns. Who\ntalks the loudest? Reds. Who goes all out when explaining\nsomething? Reds. Who’ s always the first to answer a question?\nReds again. Who, during an ", + "otherwise pleasant dinner , makes\ncategorical comments on just about any topic? And who will judge an\nentire country based on something he saw on television? Reds!\nSomething is always happening in the", + " lives of Red people. They\ncan’t sit still. Idle time is wasted time. Life is short; better get going\nimmediately . Do you recognize the type? Always on the go. So step\naside; let’ s get cracking!\n“Te", + "ll Me What You Really Think—Yes, for Real.”\nReds have no problem being blunt. When asked a specific question,\nthey often say exactly what they think, without any frills. They see no\nneed to wrap thing", + "s up in a bunch of empty phrases. When a\nthought pops into their heads , everyone knows it immediately . They\nhave opinions on most things , and they trot their thoughts out quickly\nand ef ficiently .", + "\nA common remark is that Reds are very honest, because they\ndare to express their person al truths to people. They don’t really\nunderstand what the fuss is all about. They’ve only said things as\nthey ", + "are.\nIf you need someone with extra energy , you may want to invite a\nRed into the team or project group. They fight tirelessly along when\nothers have already given up—if they are determined to succee", + "d,\nthat is. A task that has become humdrum or meaningles s could be\ntotally ignored by a Red.\nI call this phenomenon slog or split. If the task is important\nenough, a Red will go throu gh fire and wat", + "er to complete it. If he\nfeels it has no purpose, into the trash it goes.\nCan I Win Something? In That Case, I’m In.\nSo Reds like competing. They appreciate the slight antagonism that\nis part of being", + " competitive and the glorious moment of winning.\nThey even enjoy winning competitions that probably don’t even exist,\nexcept perhaps in their own mind. It can be passing a slow walker on\nthe street, f", + "inding the absolut ely best parking spot, or dominating the\nfamily game of Monopoly—d espite the fact that the purpose of the\ngame is to entertain the kids and none of the other adults are\nactually co", + "mpeting. For a Red, this is all natural because he sees\nhimself as a winner .\nLet me give you an example. I once worked for a company where\nthe CEO was Red. He was energetic and efficient—and\nconsequ", + "ently incredibly dynamic. No meetings were as short and\nsweet as those run by this CEO. But his weak spot was the\ncompetitive element. As a young man he had played soccer , and\nevery spring at this pa", + "rticular workplace they held a soccer\ntournament. It was very popular , even before he joined the company .\nNaturally , he had to take part. No other CEO before him had ever\ndone so, but that wasn’t t", + "he problem. The problem was that as soon\nas he got out on the field he became a different person. On fire with\nhis competitive drive, he flattened anyone who stood in his way .\nThis continued for a fe", + "w years until someone had the guts to tell\nhim that he played just a little bit too rough—the game wasn’t\nsupposed to be that serio us. The CEO didn’t understand. He\ngrabbed the latest flyer for the g", + "ame and pointed out that it was\ncalled a soccer “tournament.” Tournaments are competitions, and if\nyou compete you are in it to win. Simple!\nHe competed in traffic, on the soccer field, in business. N", + "o area\nwas too insignificant not to become a competition. He even raced to\nsee how quick ly he could finish reading a book. What others do for\nrelaxation he transformed into a competition. One hundred", + " pages an\nhour was a reasonable pace.\nHis wife had even banned him from playing a memory card game\nwith his childre n, who were five and six years old. Since they had\nbetter memories than he did, they", + " won most of the time, and in his\nfrustration he intimidated them.\nBefore you conclude that this guy sounds rather unsympathetic,\nwe need to look at his intentions. This kind of intensive and\ncompetit", + "ive behavior often upsets other people because they think it\nis all about dominating and suppressing others. Nothing could be\nfurther from the truth. His intentions were almost never malicious. He\njus", + "t wanted to win.\nThis is one of the greatest challenges for Reds. It’s not\nuncommon that other people feel irritated or intimidated by them\nbecause they’r e such powerful personalities. Later on in th", + "is book, I\nwill share some simple ways that you can deal with these individuals.\nTime Is Money\n“Quick” is synonymous with “good” for Reds. If you are in a\nmeeting and suddenly notic e that one of the ", + "other participants is\ndevoting his time to something completely different, it may well be a\nRed who has lost interest. If you look closer , you will realize that his\nthoughts are elsewhere—on the next", + " step in the process being\ndiscussed, for example. Because Reds are quick thinkers, they\nmove on long before everyone else.\nFew things annoy Reds more than sluggishness. If a meet ing or a\ndiscussion ", + "drags on, he may interrupt and ask if it’s really necessary\nto prolong the issue. “We’ve already discussed this for twenty\nminutes. Get it together! It’s only a few million in investm ents. How\nhard c", + "an it be?”\nIf you think about it, they’re often right. When other people may\nfind it difficult to make a decision, Reds are prepared to make quick\ndecisions in order to keep things moving. With a Red ", + "on the team,\nnothing will be discussed ad infinitum. After all, it’s alway s better to\ndo something rather than nothing, right?\nThe advantage is obvious. We’re talking about people who never\nwaste tim", + "e on anything that doesn’t move forward. As soon as a task\nbecomes unclear or is taking too long, a Red will ensure that the\nmomentum is maintained and spur things along. Chop-chop, done in\ndouble tim", + "e.\nAbout fifteen years ago I began working for a small consulting\ncompany with about a dozen employees. It was a polished\norganization with a great spirit of entrepreneurship and excellent\nmomentum in", + " business dealings. One of the reasons why they were\nso efficient was because the founder of the company was a Red.\nNothing could move too quickly for Björn. No meeting took longer\nthan was absolutely", + " necessary .\nIn my second or third week in the new job, I was sitting in a traffic\njam when my cell phone rang. I looked at the display and saw that it\nwas Björn. I answered the way I’d been instructe", + "d to when I started\nat the company—with a greeting, my name, and the comp any name.\nImpatiently he interrupted me and spit out his question.\n“Were you looking for me?”\n“No,” I replied, and took a dee", + "p breath, ready to say something\nelse. I didn’t get the chance.\n“Okay ,” he said, and hung up.\nEight seconds.\nUnpleasant? Well, at the time we didn’t really know each other .\nHowever , I must admit th", + "at the whole episode had me worried a little\n—at least on that occasion. Only three weeks at the company and\nthe big chief himself calls, and sounding irritated!\nWhen we’d gotten to know each other—an", + "d I learned that Björn\nwas Red—I asked him why he was so abrupt on the phone. Of\ncourse he didn’t even remember the call, but he said he was\nprobably just trying to find out if I was looking for him. ", + "When he\nlearned I wasn’t, there was no further need to talk. Wasting time on\npolite flowery phrases or drawn-out farewells wasn’t for him.\nBut at the same time, here was a person with a capacity to wo", + "rk\nfar more than normal. Björn managed to do more in an average\nworking day than most people. He still has an exceptional ability to\nmake the most of any free time. If he has a gap of five minutes in ", + "his\nschedule he manages to squeeze in an email, a phone call, and go\nthrough some meeting minu tes. From the outside, this may seem\nlike an unnece ssary pursuit of efficiency . But a Red detests inact", + "ivity .\nThings must happen. Add to this a sense of constant urgency , and a\ngreat deal will get done.\nThe Sky’s the Limit. Or Is It?\nFor a Red, a realistic budget is a budget for cowards. If we don’t\n", + "push ourselves to the breaking point, we haven’t tried hard enough.\nReds love difficult tasks, so their level of ambition is usually\nboundless. The ability to manage difficult situations and challeng", + "es\nis the defining attribute of Red behavior .\nWhen a person with Red traits sets his goals, several things\nhappen. First, he wants to know how well a specific task under the\nmost favorable conditions", + " could be performed. If all nineteen\nparameters were met and we all gave it a little extra effort the results\nwould be phenomenal. This means that anything below that\nimpossible level of excellenc e i", + "s boring, because there’ s at least a\nremote possibility of that result being achieved.\nNothing is impossible. The impossible just takes a little longer .\nMore than likely it was a Red who came up wit", + "h that expression.\nNaturally , it’s also about the type of project. It’s not enough just to\nset an imposs ible sales budget. If a Red doesn’t like sales, he’ll\nignore the budget. Since he prefers to m", + "ake all the decisions\nhimself, he probably won’t be fooled into doing something he doesn’t\nfeel like doing. Reds set higher demands on themselves than any of\nthe other color s would. And they are alw", + "ays prepared to work hard. I\nwouldn’t go so far as to say that no other color works as hard as\nReds do, but I would venture to say that a Red would give anyone a\nrun for his money .\nAmbition, which i", + "s intrinsic to Reds, shouldn’t be confused with a\nlust for power . Reds have no problem taking positions of power ,\nsince they are fearless. Expre ssions like “It’s lonely and windy at the\ntop” don’t", + " scare them. But for a Red power is not an end in itself. It\ndoes, however , come in handy for those who like to make their own\ndecisions and avoid having to wait for others.\nA Red can, in fact, be qu", + "ite unassuming. It’s true that he has a\nstrong ego, but status and prestige don’t have the same importance\nas with other colors. The reason is simple: A Red usua lly doesn’t\ncare what others think. He", + "’s not here for their sake—he’ s here for his\nown.\nLet Me Tell You How Things Really Are\nA Red gives everything he’s got. When he has an opinion about\nsomething or if he wants the rest of us to agree ", + "with him, he pulls out\nall the stops.\nOnce, I was in a meeting with a large number of people who\ndidn’t know one another that well. It was a gathering of consultants\nwho were meeting to discuss a pot", + "ential collaboration. It was in the\nmiddle of a recession, and we were all concerned about the lack of\ndirection. While we were waiting for the chairperson to arrive, we\nchatted a little about everyth", + "ing.\nAt one end of the table sat Elisabeth, who had strong opinions\nabout everything. In an unequivocal voice, she suddenly stated that\nthe company was still expected to earn over $50 millio n a week,", + "\ndespite the recession. About fifteen consultants, all highly trained,\nreflective, and intelligent people, nodded in agreement. Just imagine\n—$50 million! Per week!\nWhile Elisabeth expanded on how the", + " situation ough t to be\nresolved in the consulting world, I began thinking about the figures a\nlittle bit. Not knowing where these figures came from, I remained\nsilent. It could be true; it could also", + " be farfetched. I honestly didn’t\nknow . While waiting for the meeting to begin officially , I started\ncalculating how much $50 million per week would be per year. I\ndidn’t have enough paper .\nAfter t", + "he meeti ng, I got the answer to my speculations. I was in a\ntaxi on my way to my next meeting when the driver turned on the\nradio. In the news, it was announced that the company in question\nwas expec", + "ted to earn between $2 and 2.5 million per week. I\nrealized that Elisabeth had gotten the information from the news. I\nalso understoo d that $2 or $2.5 million per week was far more\nrealistic than the", + " $50 million that she had referred to.\nBut wait a minute. A little reconciliation with reality is needed\nhere. Why didn’t anyone react? No one in the room lifted a finger or\ncalled her information int", + "o question. Why?\nBecause she sounded so convincing! Her facial expression was\ndefinite; her countenance was determined, and her voice did not\nquiver in the least when she presented her figures.\nThat’ ", + "s the way Reds function. When they believe something, they\nlet people know that this is the only truth that exists. Now maybe\nthere are some sticklers for detail who might claim that this is\ndeceptive", + ", since we now know that the company earned $2.5 million\na week and not roughly $50 million. But I’m convinced that Elisabeth\nreally believed what she said. She had things turned around, no\ndoubt ab", + "out that, and she was certainly not interested in details. But\nmy point is that by sounding utterly confident when she declared that\nthe company was earning six months’ revenue—per week—we all\nfell fo", + "r it.\nOr, in the words of a good friend of mine: There are two ways to\ndo this—my way and the wrong way .\nOnly Dead Fish Go with the Flow\nReds are both groundbreakin g and strong willed. Why not also ", + "add\n“results oriente d” and “decisive” when we’re at it? For Reds, it’s not\nsufficient to do things like everyone else does. And just because it’s\ntough doesn’t mean we should avoid doing it.\nReds are", + "n’t afraid to make decisions. When everyone else\nhesitates, thinking and weighing the risks, a Red makes the\ncontroversial decision. A Red’s determination is usually unyielding.\nOnce he’ s decided, th", + "en it’ s full steam ahead.\nTheir fearlessn ess dares them to tackle things that make others\nhesitate. This is usually evide nt when things get rough, and they are\nundaunted by tough choices or tricky ", + "decisions. It is no coincidence\nthat many entrepreneurs are Reds. Setting up new businesses—\nespecially if they are based on completely new business concepts—\nis, in our curre nt economy , not for the", + " faint of heart. It’s not a bad\nthing to have a force of nature in the driver ’s seat. It takes a strong\nmind to move things forward, someone who understands that risks\nthat are part of everyday life ", + "and that everything boils down to hard\nwork from morning to night—for many years. Reds understand this\nfrom the beginning and are in no way intimidated by it.\nDo you need someone to pursue a problem i", + "n your apartment\ncomplex? Maybe you’ve gotten on the wrong side of your landlord,\nwho says that there is absol utely nothing wrong with your heat. Or\nmaybe the contractor who repaired the roof and ins", + "talled the new\nelevators was negligent and won’t take responsibility for it. Any time\nyou try to get things straig htened out, you’ve been brought to\nstandstill by a barricade of unanswered calls and ", + "info@ addresses.\nYou’re just about to give up when you suddenly rememb er the guy\non the second floor living above you. Isn’t he kind of Red? Wasn’t he\nthe one who dared to go against the super at the", + " last meeting and\nget the trash policy changed? Y es, that’ s the guy!\nThrow the guy from the seco nd floor into the process, and then\nyou’ll see thing s begin to happen. You might have to motivate hi", + "m a\nlittle, explaining that he has a lot to gain from it himself. But he will\nmake things happen—he’ll subdue the landlord and get the\ncontractor in line. And he won’t lose any sleep just because\nsome", + "one got angry with him in the process.\nGenerally speaking, a Red’s strengths are very powerful. They\nare extremely clear in their communication, and you don’t have to\nlook far to identify Red behavior", + " . Of course, over the years many\nReds learn to restrain themselves somewhat, but it doesn’t usually\nlast very long. They’ll be back to full throttle—and all that that entails.\nIt Wasn’t Better Before", + ". Onward and Upward.\nA Red doesn’ t try to stick to his original point of view when he\nrealizes that a better solution exists. He is a quick thinker and has no\nproblem shiftin g his ground at short n", + "otice. One of the advantages of\nthis is that he doesn’t reject other people’ s ideas if he has none\nhimself. It’s worth looking into anything that can propel development\nforward.\nSometimes decisions c", + "an come a little bit too quickly , but the will\nto constantly change create s a strong dynamism and flexibility . If\nanything has been static for a long time—maybe a few weeks—he\nwill turn things up ", + "a notch. Some people may find this stressful, but\nwhen you ask a Red why he changed something that was actually\nworking the answer could well be “Because I could.”\nNaturally , there are also downsides", + ". Reds get bored with the\nstatus quo quickly and so they change it—the people around them\nhave no idea what will happen next. When Greens and Blues have\njust gotten used to the new organization and th", + "ink they have finally\ngrasped how things are supposed to work, well, a Red will have\nalready outlined the next step.\nConclusions on Red Behavior\nSo what do you think? Do you know any Reds? Do you have", + " any\naround you? If you want to get to know some famous Red people,\nconsider Steve Jobs, FDR, Venus Williams, or Margaret Thatcher .\nThere’ s also Barack Obama and Mother T eresa.\nOh yes, it’s true. I", + "f you consider Mother Teresa’ s deeds, the\nstrength she needed and whom she had to deal with—t he world’ s\nforemost leaders—to achieve what she did, then you’ll realize that\nshe was extremely determin", + "ed and forceful. A typical Red profile.\n5\nYellow Behavior\nHow to Recognize Someone Whose Head Is in the Clouds and Get\nHim Back to Reality Again\n“That Sounds Fun! Let Me Do It!”\nIn the Hippocratic wor", + "ld, we have now come to the sanguine\nperson. What other words can be used to describe him? Optimistic\nand cheerful, a person with a bright outlook on life. The thesaurus\neven suggests the epithet a m", + "an of possibilities … how about that? It\nis, in fact, an excellent description of Yellow behavior . These are\npeople who live to live, always finding opportunities for enjoyment.\nLife is a banqu et, a", + "nd Yellows will see to it that they savor every bite.\nThey are driven by merriment and laughter . And why not? The sun is\nalways shining somewhere.\nDo you know anyone who sees sunshine where others se", + "e dark\nclouds? Have you met anyon e who can laugh even though he hasn’t\nhad any good news for months? Then you’ve met a Yellow . Have\nyou been at a party and wondered why everyone flocks around a\npar", + "ticular person, man or woman? Well, in the center of the circle\nthere’ s a Yellow , entertaining anyone who wants to laugh. Yellows\nmake sure that the atmosphere is at its zenith so that every event\n", + "becomes a marvelous party . When something is no longer fun, they\nmove on to another place where the atmosphere is better .\nRecognizing a Yellow is easy. He’s the one who’s talking all the\ntime. He’s", + " the one who gives answers rather than asking questions\n—often answe ring questions that no one has even asked. He\nanswers a question by telling a story that may or may not have\nanything to do with t", + "he issue. But it really doesn’t matter , because he\nwill put you in a cheerful mood. Besides, his unshakab ly positive\nattitude also makes it impossible for you to feel upset for long.\nI would even go", + " so far as to argue that Yellows are more popular\nthan other colors. How can I say that? Look for yourself. They\nentertain, put people in a good mood, and fun things always happen\naround them. They kn", + "ow how to capture everyone’ s attention and\nhow to keep it. They make us feel important. They are just nice to be\naround.\nThey are also very typically touchy-feely people. Like Reds,\nYellows are very ", + "willing to make quick decisions, but they can rarely\nexplain why using rational reasoning. A more likely response would\nbe, “It just felt right.” And sure, gut feelings shouldn’t be\nunderestimated. St", + "udies have shown that gut feelings are right more\noften than we think. But that’s not the kind of gut feeling we’re talking\nabout here. Yellows often make decisions that are based on feeling\nsimply be", + "cause no thought was ever involved.\nI have a sister who is Yellow. Marita is so easygoing in her\nmanner that I have never heard anyone utter a single negative word\nabout her. Never . I may be biased, ", + "but I have never met anyone who\ndoesn’t immediately like her. She has an entirely unique ability to\nconnect with every person she meets.\nMarita always has something entertaining to say. However , some", + "\nof these things are so peculia r that I sometimes have to ask her what\nshe was thinki ng when she said them. With a burst of laughter , she\nusually replies, “Thinking? I wasn’t!”\nIn many ways, it’s ", + "liberating when I visit her and her husband,\nLeif. Their almost incomprehensible ability to see bright spots in\neverything around them is so delightful that it frees my own\neasygoing disposition. I am", + " never as happy and exhilarated as when\nI visit them. For years, I wondered why this was, and have reached\nthe conclusion that Y ellow behavior is simply contagious.\nIf I say to my sister , “It looks ", + "like it is going to rain,” she simply\nreplies, “I can’t imagine that.” Pointing to the window , I say to her,\n“But look, it’s actually rainin g. It is quite dark out there; we could\nhave thunder befor", + "e this is over.” “Sure,” she says, “but after that the\nsun will come out! Just wait and see.” Then she laughs. Again. While\nthe rain pours outside, she sits on the sofa, unabashedly having fun.\nAnd I,", + " along with everyone else, laugh along because it’s impossible\nto resist.\n“The More the Merrier! Your Friends Are My Friends.\n…”\nPeople with lots of Yellow in their behavior are focused on creating\nre", + "lationships. They are outgoing and can be extremely persuasive.\nThey’re enthus iastic, excited, and happy to talk about their feelings\nfor others and, not infrequently , for complete strangers.\nYellow", + "s can talk to anyone. They are not at all shy, perceiving\nmost people they meet as pleasant. They even see strangers in a\npositive light—they’re just friends you haven’t met yet.\nMany people notice th", + "at Yellows are always smiling and laughing.\nThat’ s undoubtedly one of a Yellow’ s strengths. Their optimism is\ninvincible. Comments about how everything is going to hell are often\nmet by remarks abou", + "t “What a beautiful view we have!”\nJust like Reds, Yellows have lots of energy . They find most things\ninteresting, and Yellow individuals are the most curious people you’ll\never meet. Everything new ", + "is enjoyable, and a great deal of Yellow\nenergy is spent finding new ways of doing things\nWho gets the most holiday cards, do you think? Yellows. Most\ncontacts in their cell phone? That’ s right—Y ell", + "ows. Most friends on\nFacebook? You’re getting the idea—Y ellows. They have friends\nabsolutely everywhere, and they are excellent at keepin g in touch\nwith everyone in order to keep up-to-date. Yellows", + " want to know\nwhat’ s going on. They want to be where it’s all happening , and they\nwill make sure to be at every party .\n“Isn’t It Amazing? I Just Loooove It to Bits!”\nIf there is anything that char", + "acterizes Yellow behavior , it’s unlimited\noptimism and enthusiasm. Few things can keep their good mood\naway for long. The Yellows’ entire being is concentrated on one thing\n—finding opportunities and", + " solutions.\nIn his day, Hippocrates called Yellows the sanguine ones. This\nsimply means optimists. Nothing is really a problem. It will all sort\nitself out. It’s neither here nor there that the world ", + "just happens to be\nfull of worries and hardships. With their incurably positive outlook on\nlife, Yellow individuals give joy to the people around them with their\ncheerful acclamations and entertainin", + "g jokes.\nI don’t know where Yellows get their tremendous energy , but it’s\nfocused on having fun and devoting themselves to social\ntogetherness. Everyone must be involved, and a Yellow will not allow\n", + "anyone to be gloomy .\nMicke, a good friend of mine, is Yellow , and his life has included\nmore than his fair share of challenges. His wife left him, his children\nhave had problems at school, and on va", + "rious occasions his\nemployers have gone bankrupt and he has lost his job. I can’t even\ncount how many times he’s had a car accident, his home has been\nburgled, or he has been robbed of expensive item", + "s. Sometimes I\nhardly dare to answer the phone when I see that Micke is calling. To\ntell the truth, Micke is the most jinxed man I have ever met.\nBut what’s so curious about him is that none of this e", + "ver seems to\nbother him. Naturally , he’s upset when accidents happen, but he\ncan’t stay upset for long periods of time. Inside, he just bubbles\nalong most of the time.\nI remem ber one occasion when w", + "e were both quite young. He\nhad just bough t an old Alfa Romeo. It was a two-seate r with two\ndoors. Painfully rusty , it was nothing short of a miracle that it even\nheld together . Micke had the car ", + "for about a week when he hit a\nlamppost and couldn’t get out on the driver ’s side. When I heard\nabout the accident, I was worried and called to see if he was okay.\nHis answer? “It was fine! I just go", + "t out the other door!”\nThe Optimistic Consultant Strikes Again\nSince Yellow individuals are so positive and cheerful, they spread joy\nand warmth to those around them. With their uncontrollable\noptimis", + "m, they demolish all opposition quite ef fectively .\nWho can be upset when there’s someone pointing out the good\nthings all the time?\nHow could anyone fail to be inspired by a person who refuses to\nse", + "e half-empty glasses? Who always sees the positive?\nOne of my customers is a sales director for a pharma ceutical\ncompany . Marianne worked her way up in the company via what we\ncall the long route. H", + "er mana gers and coworkers all agree that she’s\nbeen so successful simply due to one thing: her amazing ability to\ninspire those around her .\nOn a number of occasions, I’ve watched her conduct sales\n", + "meetings. I consider myself a decent motivator , but when Marianne\ngets going you just have to take your hat off to her. Withi n a couple\nof minutes, the room is so inspired if she were to ask the sel", + "lers to\njump out the window they’d do it, even though they are on the fifth\nfloor. She makes everything sound so simple.\n“It’s a great idea to jump out the window! We can do this. Let’s\njump!”\nAnd the", + " group jumps after her. With her optimism and bright\noutlook on life, she is phenom enal at getting people to achieve great\nfeats—just by closing their eyes to anything negative. With sheer\ninspiratio", + "n, she can inflate people’ s confidence to incredible levels.\nI once saw her dealing with an irate customer who felt mistreated\nby her organiz ation. Not a situation most people dream about! It\nturned", + " out it wasn’t a problem for Marianne. By just smiling\nsteadfastly at the customer and refusing to listen to his negative\ncomments, she moved him from an angry face to a gentle smile and\nfinally to bo", + "isterous laughter . How could that happen? I don’t think\nthat even she could explain the underlying process. It simply came\nnaturally to her .\nWhat Happens If We Turn Everything Upside Down?\nYou won’t", + " find anyone more resourceful than a Yellow . If there is\nanything Yellows have an aptitude for, it’s seeing solutions where\nothers do not. Yellows have the unique ability to twist and turn\nthings. To", + " put it simply , they turn everything upside down and think\noutside the box. Call it what you want, but their thinki ng doesn’t\nalways follow any set pattern.\nThey move quickly: The Yellow’ s intelle", + "ct is very fast, which\nmeans that it can be difficult to keep up. Sometimes they can even\nfind it dif ficult to explain their wild ideas.\nA good friend of mine likes to work on his home. Everything\nr", + "elating to interior design and garden design fascinates him. I\nsuspect that Robban would secretly rather work in design on a full-\ntime basis instead of his actual job.\nI’ve seen this for myself, but ", + "I’ve also heard from his wife how he\ngoes about things. He walks around the garden, and she starts\ncounting backw ards from ten. On seven, Robban says, “Honey , I\nhave an idea.”\nThere are a few reason", + "s for Robban’ s creativity . It’s easy for him\nto think in images. He can simply “see” things in front of him long\nbefore they even exist. And he has courage; he’s not afraid to try\nnew things. Or t", + "o talk about them. Usually , his mouth works parallel\nto his mind as he discovers these ideas.\nI’ve worked with a Yellow who couldn’t even cross the street\nwithout coming up with a few really thought-", + "provoking business\nideas—just by looking around. How does this work? I don’t really\nknow . For a long time, we asked him to write down his proposals.\nYou’ll learn more about how a Yellow would react t", + "o that kind of\nstructure when we start talking about weaknesses.\nYellows are also helped by the fact that they rarely have any\nlimitations. A Yellow dares to go beyond the usual conventions when\nhe’s ", + "in a creati ve mode. Normally , of course, structure and hierarchy\nin a business are a kind of limitation, but Yellows are rarely\nconcerned about such things. In fact, they often don’t seem to know\nt", + "hat such limitations are there.\nNeed help with new sugges tions or ideas? Hunt out the most\nYellow person you know . Are you stuck in the same way of thinking?\nDo you need a new perspective on an old ", + "problem? Speak to a\nYellow . You might not be able to use whatever idea scheme they\ncome up with—in fact, realis m isn’t a factor for a Yellow—but one\nthing can lead to another and then all of a sudde", + "n you have\nsomething that works.\nSelling Snow to a Penguin\nWith all their energy and optimism, Yellows are very persuasive. It’s\neasy for them to get carried away , seeing opportunities and solutions\n", + "where others might only see a dead end.\nIt’s often said that there is a difference between convincing and\npersuading, and many Yellows cross these boundaries. But what\nthey say sound s so good. With t", + "he help of language, they really are\nmasters at winning over people to their side.\nRegarding language: As I describe in the chapter on body\nlanguage (page 106), most Yellows have a rich and varied way", + " of\ngesticulating, so that they can convince you not just with their words,\nbut with their entire bodies.\nBut it’s not just energy and will. Yellows have a unique way of\nexpressing themselves that swa", + "ys their listeners. They often use\nvivid and color ful imagery when they speak, which appeals to all five\nsenses and creates an impression that is felt by the whole body .\nWithout even knowing it, man", + "y Yellows are skilled rhetoricians.\nThey know instinctively that their ethos, the bearer of the message,\nis just as important as the message itself. Therefore , they are\nmindful of getting through to ", + "you as an individual—usually by being\nfriendly and shaking your hand; making small personal comments;\nmaking you feel important.\nMany politicians are phenom enal at this—think of Bill Clinton, for\nins", + "tance. He has the kind of charisma that is naturally present in\nmany Yellows— a noticeable interest in another person, the ability to\nask exactly the right questions so that others feel that they are\n", + "important.\n“I Know Lots of People. All of Them, in Fact.”\nIf Yellows aren’t allowed to cultivate their relationships, they will\nslowly wither and die. Okay , this may be somewhat exaggerated, but\nthe ", + "very definition of Yellow behavior revolves around their ability to\nbuild relationships.\nThe Yellow traits are inspirational. They inspire those around\nthem, and the best way to achieve this is throug", + "h building\nrelationships. A Yellow knows that by far the most important factor in\nbusiness, for example, is relationships. If your customer doesn’t feel\npositively about you, it will be dif ficult to", + " make any headway .\nYellows know everyone. They have more acquaintance s than\neveryone else. They like everyone. A Yellow doesn’t need to know a\nperson very well before calling him his friend. Anyone", + " who doesn’t\nactively dislike them they consider to be a pal. Remember that when\nReds ask what is going to be done, Yellows want to know\nimmediately who will do it. This question is crucial for Yell", + "ows. If the\nteam or group does not function smoothly , a Yellow will not feel well.\nHe needs functioning relationships for him to come into his own.\nConclusions on Yellow Behavior\nWhat do you think? H", + "ave you ever met a real Yellow ? Famous\npeople who exhibit clear yellow traits include Oprah Winfrey , Robin\nWilliams, Ellen DeGeneres, and, to take some fictional examples,\nPippin from The Lord of th", + "e Rings and Han Solo from Star W ars.\n6\nGreen Behavior\nWhy Change Is So Dif ficult and How to Get Around It\n“How Are We Going to Do This? It’s Not Urgent,\nRight?”\nThe Green person is the most common.", + " You’ll meet him virtually\neverywhere. What’ s the easiest way to explain who he is? Well, I\nwould like to describe him as being the average of all the other\ncolors. Please don’t interpret that as som", + "ething negativ e; keep in\nmind what this truly implies. While Reds are stressed performance\nseekers, Yellows are creative bon vivant guys, and Blues are\nperfectionist Knights of Exce l Spreadsheets (s", + "ee pages 13 and 14),\nGreens are the most balanced. They counterbalance the other more\nextreme behav ioral traits in an elegant way. Hippocrates called them\nphlegmatic people. The Aztecs called them ea", + "rth people. Calm,\nleisurely , and easygoing are some words that could also describe\nthem.\nIt’s just a matte r of stating the facts—not everyone can or should\nbe extreme; otherwise, we would never get ", + "anything done. If\neveryone were a driven leader , there would be no one left to be led.\nIf everyone were an enthusia stic entertainer , there would be no one\nto amuse. And if everyon e were a detail-o", + "riented perfectionist, there\nwouldn’t be anything to keep in order .\nThis means that Greens don’t stick out in the same way as others\ndo and they often lend serenity to a situation. Where Reds and\nYel", + "lows start off in top gear, Greens are significantly calmer . And\nwhere Blues get caught up in details, Greens try to feel their way to\nwhat is right.\nIf you have a friend who is Green, he’ll never fo", + "rget your birthday .\nHe won’t begrudge you your successes, and he won’t try to take the\nspotlight off you by reeling off his own stories. He won’t try to outdo\nyou, and he will never pester you with n", + "ew and drastic demands. Nor\nwill he see you as a competitor if you were ever placed in that\nsituation. He won’t take comm and unless he has been told to do so.\nAnd he won’t—\nJust a minute please, you ", + "might be thinking. That’ s just a lot of\nthings he doesn’t do. So what does he do?\nYou can’t ignore the fact that Greens are more passive than\nothers. They’re not as driven as Reds, not as resource", + "ful as Yellows,\nand not as orderly as Blues. This describes most of the population.\nFor this very reason, they are easy to deal with. They let you be\nyourself. They don’t demand much, and they never k", + "ick up a fuss\nunnecessarily . Children with Green features are usually described as\nbeing little angels. They eat when they’re supposed to; they sleep\nwhen they’re supposed to; they do their homework ", + "when they’re\nsupposed to.\nBut it’s not just that. Greens will not offend people if they can\navoid it. They’ d rather not offend anyone at all, and they won’t talk\nback if the boss makes a strange deci", + "sion. (At least not to his face,\nthat is. During the coffee break it may be somewhat different, but\nmore on that later.) They usually strive to fit in, which makes them\nmore balanced people. They’re i", + "deal for calming down confused\nYellows, for example. And they’re excellent at warming up Blues,\nwho, on occasion, can indeed be a tad too cold.\nWe often hang out with a family where the husband is Yel", + "low and\nloves to horse around and take center stage—he come s up with\namusing games and is more than happy to answer any questions\nhimself. Everyo ne else is his audience, and he never steps out of t", + "he\nspotlight. His wife is Green. Calm, composed, and as laid back as\ncan be. When he jumps around and frolics (these are middle-aged\npeople), she sits quietly on the sofa and smiles. She’s just as\nent", + "ertained as everyone else by his antics. When I ask her if she\never gets tired of her comical husband, she sometimes replies\nquietly , “But he’ s having so much fun.”\nThis is a typica l Green trait. T", + "hey are very tolerant toward s other\npeople’ s more singular behavior . Is the picture becoming clearer?\nGreens are the people you might not think about—most of us, that is.\nSome Simple Basics\nGreen p", + "eople are kindness personified. You can expect a helping\nhand wheneve r you need it. They are pronounced relational people\nwho will do everything within their power to save your relationship.\nAnd they", + " will invest lifelong . They will keep track of when your\nbirthday is, when your partn er’s birthday is, when your children’ s\nbirthdays are, et cetera. It wouldn’t surprise me if they even know\nwhen ", + "your cat first saw the light of day .\nIt’s often said that Greens are the best listeners, and this is true.\nA Gree n will always be more interested in you than in himself, and if\nperchance he should ", + "be interested in himself he would never dream\nof showing it. You often find Greens in the public sector , where they\nhelp others, with no concern for personal gain.\nThey are also pronounced team playe", + "rs. The team, the group, the\nfamily , always comes before the individual, and I would even say that\nsocieties consisting of Greens will always take care of the sick and\nthe weak. They will not leave ", + "a friend in need; you can call them at\nany time. They always of fer a shoulder to cry on.\nChange isn’t their greatest strength, even though change isn’t\ncompletely foreign to them. If you can simply j", + "ustify the change and\ngive him enough time, even a Green will be prepared to try new\nthings. But a Green will remind you that you always know what you\nhave, but you never know what you might end up w", + "ith. The grass is\nnot automatically greener on the other side, so to speak.\nThe Best Pal in the World\nAs I’ve already said, these are naturally friendly people. When they\ntell you that they sincerely ", + "care about how you’re doing , you can\ntrust that they lie awake sleepless for your sake. Just like Yellows,\nGreens are relationship peop le and their interest in others is genuine\nand authentic.\nIf yo", + "u ask a group of people if anyone is prepared to lend a hand\nand no one steps up to help, a Green will jump in and shout,\n“Choose me!” Why? Because he didn’t want to leave you in the\nlurch. He knows t", + "hat if you don’t get any help you’ll feel bad, and\neven though he can be passive, he’s always prepared to help a\nfriend.\nI still remember a young woman I worked with at a consulting firm\nyears ago. Ad", + "mittedly , Maja was certainly Blue as well, but above all,\nshe was Green. Her problem was obvious: When someone asked for\nhelp, she always said yes. Every time.\nIt was difficult to find her desk due t", + "o her workload, but she\norganized everything in the end. We could always rely on her\nassistance, handling all the things the rest of us had simply forgotten\nabout. She had a warm and friendly smile, s", + "o we asked her to work\nin reception and have the first contact with new clients. She never\nfailed to serve coffee, fix the cushions, or keep track of how long\nclients had been waiting.\nMaja never forg", + "ot anyone’ s birthday or anniversary (or their\nwives’ or children’ s, for that matter). She frequently sent short emails\nto all of us stressed-out consultants reminding us that we had\nfamilies who als", + "o needed to be looked after. Sure, we could take\ncare of our own lives, but in her kindness and thoughtfu lness Maja\nwent out of her way to help. It was natural for her, and whenever we\nasked her to t", + "ake it easy and take care of herself for a change she\nalmost felt offended. She wanted to take care of us—it simply made\nher feel good. Of course, there were limits, and Maja constantly ran\nthe risk o", + "f someone taking advantage of her huge heart. But when\nproperly balanced, this selflessness is a beautiful quality .\nGreens do this naturally . When having coffee, it’s quite normal for\nyou to ask th", + "e people with you if they would like a refill. When other\ncolors would likely take their empty cups to the coffeemaker , Greens\nwould simply fetch the cof fee carafe and refill everyone’ s cup.\nA Gree", + "n wants to stay on good terms with everyone, so he’ll even\nhelp people he doesn’t really like that much. Otherwise, there might\nbe some kind of hullabaloo.\nHe thinks well of most people and is confid", + "ent in others’ abilities.\nSometimes he does this so intensely that it ends badly , but normally\nthat’s the fault of the other person, not the Green himsel f. He is so\ngood-hearted that now and then ot", + "hers can take advantage of him.\nLasse, a good friend of mine, is a truly genuine friend. It makes\nno difference how much he has to do; if anyone needs a helping\nhand, Lasse is there, ready to support ", + "him. Sometimes, in Lasse’ s\neagerness to help with other people’ s work, he even forge ts to do his\nown.\nOn weekends, he drives his own and others’ children everywhere\nthey want to go. He helps people", + " move; he lends out his tools\nwithout people even needin g to ask. He listens if you call and\ncomplain about something. This all takes a huge amount of time, but\nhe enjoys it.\nOnce They’ve Said They’l", + "l Do Something, You Can\nRest Assured That It Will Be Done\nIf a Green says that he will do something, you can be confident that\nhe’ll do it. If it’s in his power to deliver , he will. It won’t be done ", + "in the\nshortest amou nt of time possible, but it will show up in your in-box\nroughly within the expected time frame. Greens don’t want to be\ncaught failing to deliver , as this might cause trouble for", + " others. And\nbecause they’re good team players, they don’t want to do anything\nthat can cause problems for the team. Team comes before self, the\nteam being the company , crew, football team, or famil", + "y . For the\nGreen, it’ s natural to look after everyone else around them.\nThe reason why everyone works so well with Greens is a topic for\ndebate. In some situations , it’s simply because they don’t l", + "ike\nconflict. Mostly , however , it’s because they’re controlled by their\ndesire to make those around them happy and satisfied. If they can\nplease you with a job well done, they’ll do it. The desire ", + " to please\nothers verges on being a driving force for Greens. It comes naturally\nand requires no effort. And this selflessness is accompanied by an\nexalted serenity that lowers the stress level of tho", + "se around them.\n“We Don’t Want Any Unpleasant Surprises. It’s Good\nto Know What’s Going to Happen. Every Time.”\nYou can always count on a Green person. In some organizations, it’s\na requirement to hav", + "e reliable employees. Creativity and ingenuity\nare not at the top of the wish list: In short, you simply need people\nwho understand the job and get it done without a lot of fuss or\ndrama.\nThen you hir", + "e Greens. They constitute the stable core who will do\nthe job well. They don’t have problems taking orders—as long as the\norders are formulated in an appealing fashion. Greens enjoy stability\nand a ce", + "rtain predictability in the workplace. Or in the home. Or with\nthe family . Just about everywhere.\nWhenever trouble is brewing—maybe due to a recession or when\nnew managers take over—w e’ll see all ki", + "nds of interesting behavior\nin a group. Reds, who never listen to the whole message, just rush\noff to do what they believe needs to be done. Unless, of course,\nthey’re busy yelling at the management b", + "ecause they don’t agree\nwith their decisions. Yellows start wild discussions and inform\nabsolutely everyone about their take on what happened. Instead of\nworking, they’ll debate the news until it’s ti", + "me to leave the office.\nBlues will sit at their desks and begin the bureaucratic paperwork,\nformulating half a million questions that no one knows the answers to\nyet.\nGreens? They just murmur . If the", + " management has avoided\nseriously sabotaging their sense of security , they’ll trundle on without\ncomplaining. There’ s no point in making a lot of fuss and bother\nabout it. Might as well keep doing w", + "hat you were before. This, in\nfact, makes things much easier . We’ll get to how we help Greens to\nchange direction, but they’re great at keeping calm and carrying on.\nYou’ll always know how a Green wi", + "ll respond to some questions\nbecause he doesn’t change his opinion very often.\nA few years ago, I coached Greger . He had been a CEO for\nseveral years, and his management team consisted solely of Gree", + "n\nmiddle managers. He used to enjoy playing a little game when\nlaunching new ideas. He wrote little notes with the answers he\nthought he would get from each person. “No” from Anna. “Yes” from\nStefan. ", + "“Maybe” from Bertil. Right every time! Greger knew them\nvery well and knew how they would react to his proposals.\nThis wouldn’t have been the case with Yellows. They don’t even\nknow how they’re going", + " to respond when opportunities arise.\nExciting—sure, but it’s exhausting for those around them. With\nGreen associates, however , you don’t need to worry .\n“Who? Me? I’m Not Important. Forget That You ", + "Even\nSaw Me.”\nFor every Green, the group will always come first. Team before self.\nRemember that. This is a fundamental truth for a Green, and it\nshouldn’t be challenged too strongly . The working gro", + "up, the team,\nthe club, and the family—all these different groups are important for\na Green. He often disregards his own needs if the group gets what it\nneeds.\nYou may think that groups consist of pe", + "ople and if each individual\nis satisfied the group as a whole will be content. This might happen,\nbut then the focus would be individual rather than collective. The way\na Green sees it, if the group ", + " feels good every individual also feels\ngood.\nHere the Green’ s thoughtfulness becomes apparent—he has\ninfinite regard for those around him. This is partly the reason why it’s\ndifficult to get a strai", + "ght answer from a Green. He’s always trying to\nsatisfy everyone else.\nLet me tell you a rather striking story . One Sunday a few years\nago, a colleague whom I didn’t know that well called me. I had on", + "ly\nbeen working with Kristof fer for a few months, but I hadn’t really\nfigured the guy out yet.\nSo when he called me one Sunday morning I was surprised. I\nsaw who it was, but I had no idea what he wan", + "ted from me. He\ngreeted me pleasantly and asked what I was doing. I had just bought\na new house at that time and was busy renovating. Kristo ffer asked\nwhat was on the agenda this particular Sunday , ", + "and I remember that\nI said I was worried about the boiler . It was early winter . The\ntemperature was just below freezing, and one of the circulation\npumps didn’t really work as it should. Because col", + "der weather was\ndefinitely on the way , I wondered if the pump could cope with a major\ncold snap.\nBeing a Green, Kristof fer asked a number of questions and gave\nme lots of good advice. He’d once had ", + "a similar boiler , and besides,\nhe knew a plumber whom he might be able to ask to come by and\nhave a look—if I was interes ted, of course. Kristof fer and I chatted\nfor a while, and I became increasin", + "gly puzzled about why he had\nactually called me.\nHe asked me where I lived. I gave him the address, and he\npromised to write it down and give it to his plumber friend. Then, as a\nkind of “by the way,”", + " he asked me if I had any plans to go into town\nthat day. I lived about twent y-five miles from the office and hadn’t\nintended to go to work that Sunday . I explained this to Kristof fer.\nWe chatted a", + " little while longer, and in the end I finally asked him\nstraight out what he really wanted. Then he revealed that he was\nstanding outside the office in his T-shirt because he had accidentally\nlocked ", + "himself out when he had popped out to fetch some lunch. I\nlooked at the thermometer . Thirty degrees with light snow. We’d\nbeen talking for about fifteen minutes! I got into the car and saved\nhim fro", + "m freezing to the bone.\nEveryone else is more important. A Green never asks for\nanything.\n“I Know Exactly What You Mean.”\nThey say Greens are introverts, that is, that they’re active in their\ninner wo", + "rld. This means that they don’t talk just for the sake of\ntalking. When you are quieter than those around you, it’s natural that\nyou listen. And Greens will listen. They are interested in you and\nyour", + " ideas.\nUnlike Reds, who only listen when there is something to be\ngained from it, or Yellows, who usually don’t listen at all (although\nthey will normally deny this fact), Greens hear what you’re act", + "ually\nsaying. They have a genuine ear for human problems. They might\nnot offer any suggestions or solutions, but they understand what\nyou’ve told them. Don’t assum e that means that they agree with yo", + "u\n—but they are good listeners.\nSo far, you have probably tried to puzzle all the pieces together .\nWhere do the different colors fit in? What kind of job would be best\nfor each of them? These are go", + "od questions, even if there are no\nsimple answers. One observ ation that often arises when I work with\nthese issues in different organizations is that Reds, and Yellows in\nparticular , must be good at", + " retail and selling. This is true for sure. But\nGreens are often overlooked. We always teach salespeople to talk\nless and listen more, something Greens already do quite naturally .\nHelena was a seller", + " I coached a few years ago. She was Green\nand very gentle in her ways. Most people didn’t understan d how she\nsurvived in that daunting industry. But I have a theory . She once told\nme about a time wh", + "en she met a tough chief executive everyone had\ntremendous respect for. No one in the entire company had managed\nto sell anything to him, but after a little coaching from me Helena was\ndetermined to h", + "ave a go. So she arranged a meeting.\nThey ran into each other in the parking lot at the restauran t where\nthey were to meet for lunch. The stern executive cruised into the lot\nin a vintage car from th", + "e late sixties. Beautiful, shiny , and obviously\nvery special. Helena said the only thing she could think of: W ow!\n“Do you like cars?” asked the executive, before they had even\ngreeted each other . H", + "elena nodded. Then he told her about the car,\nhow much he had spent to restore it, the paintwork and alloys, the\nengine. He showed her what it looked like under the hood. Helena\nnodded and murmured ap", + "proval and hoped he wouldn’t ask her any\nquestions, since she couldn’t tell the difference between a Ford and\na Chev rolet. But she didn’t interrupt; she just listened. After that it\nwas easy. They sa", + "t down, and he asked to see the sales agreement.\nHow did she do it? By doing nothing at all except for one thing—\nlistening. He signed before the food was even served.\nConclusions on Green Behavior\nOk", + "ay . Do you have any Greens in your family? Highly likely .\nMr. Rogers, Gandhi, Michelle Obama, and Jimmy Carter are\nsome well-known people with elements of Green. And, yes, Jesus.\nThere’ s a guy who ", + "knew how to help others.\n7\nBlue Behavior\nIn Pursuit of Perfection\n“Why Are We Doing This? What’s the Science\nBehind It?”\nThe last of the four colors is an interesting fellow . You’ve probably\nmet him.", + " He doesn’t make a fuss about himself, but he does keep\ntabs on what is happening around him. While a Green will just go\nwith the flow, a Blue has all the right answers. In the background, he\nanalyzes", + ": classifies, evaluates, assesses.\nYou know you’ve met a Blue if you visit someone’ s home and\neverything is organized in a particular way. Clear labels and names\non each hook so that the children wil", + "l know exactly where to hang up\ntheir jackets. Dinner menus, divided into six-week intervals to ensure\na balanced diet, stuck on the refrigerator door. If you look at his\ntools, you’ll find that ever", + "ythin g has its own spot and nothing is out of\nplace. Why? A Blue DIY guy always puts things back where they\nbelong.\nHe is also a pessimist, sorry : a realist. He sees errors, and he\nsees risks. He’s ", + "the melancholic who closes the circle of behavior .\nReserved, analytical, and detail-oriented are some words you might\nassociate with a Blue.\n“Excuse Me, but That’s Not Quite Accurate.”\nWe all have a ", + "friend like that. Think about it: You’re sitting in a\nrestaurant with your friends. You’re discussing cats, football, or\nspace rockets. Someone throws out a random comment. It may be\nyour Red friend", + " who claims that the Patriots have been to the Super\nBowl eleven times; it can be the Yellow who cheerfully claims that as\na child he lived in the same block as Will Smith in W est Philly .\nYour Blue", + " buddy clears his throat and in a gentle voice says that\nthe Patriots have actually only been to the Super Bowl ten times—\nwith their first appearance after the 1985 season and eight times\nsince 2001—", + "and that Will Smith actually grew up in Wynnefield,\nwhich is well north of the block in question and a half-hour walk from\nthe lovely Cent ennial Arboret um. In addition, without blinking an eye,\nthe ", + "good friend adds, “It’s interesting to note that in the Super Bowl\npregame coin toss, of the past fifty-one games, the outcome has\nbeen tails twenty-seven times and heads twenty-four times. And\nbased", + " on past statistics, the winner of the coin toss is slightly less\nlikely to win the game overall.”\nYou just have to give up, boys. This guy simply knows everything.\nHe doesn’t make a big deal about it", + ", but his way of prese nting facts\nmakes it difficult for you to call them into question. He knows where\nhe found the info and can go fetch the book to prove it.\nThat’ s the way it is with Blues. They", + " know how thing s stand\nbefore they open their mout h. They’ve Googled, read the owner ’s\nmanual, and checked the dictionary—and afterwards they present a\nreport in full.\nBut an important thing to not", + "e: If the question doesn’t come up,\nit’s unlikely that your Blue buddy will say anything on the subject. He\nhas no need to tell everyone about what he knows. Of course, a Blue\ndoesn’t know everything;", + " no one can. But you can usual ly bank on\nthe fact that what he says is correct.\nDid you notice anything about the art above? Of course you did.\nThis time I listed the different characteristics in alp", + "habetic al order—\nsomething a Blue would certa inly appreciate. However , I might get in\ntrouble because I don’t discuss each and every one one of these\ncharacteristics individually on the subsequent ", + "pages. To all Blue\nindividuals who are reading this—who have probably jotted down a\nlittle note in the margin to go to my website to look for possible\nexplanations for this blunder—I just want to say ", + "that I didn’t mean to\ncause any strife.\n“It’s Not a Big Deal—I Was Just Doing My Job.”\nHow can a know-it-all be unassuming? It’s impressively modest to\navoid making a fuss, even if you know everything", + ".\nIt’s rare that a wholly Blue person would feel the need to stand on\nthe rooftops or to toot his own horn in order to make it clear to the\nworld who the real expert is. It’s usually sufficient that y", + "ou, the Blue,\nare clear about who knows best.\nThere are downsides to this modesty . More than once I’ve stood\nin the middle of a crowd of people as we all tried to puzzle through a\nproblem togeth er.", + " On one such occasion, a Blue came forward after\ntwo hours and casually pointed out the answer . For him, it was never\nreally a problem at all. He knew a thing or two, but beca use Blues\noften miss th", + "e big picture, they don’t always act immediately . I asked\nhim why he didn’t say anything two hours earlier . And, like a typical\nBlue, he said, “W ell, you never asked.”\nIt would be easy to feel aggr", + "avated by such a comment. But at\nthe same time, I understood him. It’s more my problem than his that\nhe wasn’t invited to join the discussion. He knew that he knew the\nanswer , and that was good enou", + "gh.\nThere’ s also no need to cheer, applaud, or call a Blue up to the\npodium when he’s done something tremendous in an amazing way.\nSure, it doesn’ t really do any harm to cheer . He’ll just nod, acce", + "pt the\npraise and the prize check, and then return to his desk, where he’ll\ncontinue worki ng on the next project. But he may well wonder what\nthe fuss was really all about—he was only doing his job.\n", + "“Excuse Me, but Where Did You Read That? And\nWhat Edition Was It?”\nA Blue can rarely get too many facts or have too many pages of fine\nprint. People say that God is in the details, and I can imagine t", + "hat it\nwas a Blue who first said that.\nNo detail is too small to be noticed. Cutting corners is simply not\nan option for a Blue.\n“Hold up,” you might say. “Not keeping track of every single tiny\ndetai", + "l isn’t really the same thing as cutting corners.” But if you ask a\nBlue it is. “Not having full control is the same thing as not having any\ncontrol at all. What do we get by cutting corners? How can ", + "you\npossibly justify it?”\nIt doesn’t work like that. Tell a Blue that he can ignore the details\nof the new contract and skip the last thirty paragraph s—there’ s\nnothing important in that bit—and he’l", + "l stare at you very attentively\nand wonder about your mental capabilities. As usual, he won’t\nnecessarily say anything. He’ll just completely ignore what you said.\nHe would rather burn the midnight o", + "il checking all the facts of the\ncase than miss the slightest detail.\nA few years ago, I tried to sell a leadership program to the CEO\nof a company in the packaging industry . He was Blue; there was n", + "o\ndoubting that. His emails were long-winded and a little dry, and for\nour first meeting he had set aside fifty minutes. Not an hour, not\nthree-quarters of an hour, but fifty minutes. (There was a rea", + "son for\nthis: After the meeting he would have lunch, and the dining room\nwas eight minutes away . Plus a visit to the gents for about two\nminutes. A fifty-minute meeting would get him there right in t", + "ime.)\nThe first time we met, he deposited me in a specific chair by a\nspecific corne r at the visito rs’ desk. He didn’t ask if I had any\ndifficulty getting there—which I did; the address was totally\n", + "impossible—he offered neither coffee nor tea. He didn’t smile when\nhe greeted me. He examined my business card very carefully .\nAfter going through the company’ s needs, I explained that I would\ngo ba", + "ck to my office to put a quote together . Once back at my desk, I\nbrooded abou t how I should go about it. Normally , my proposals\nwere ten to twelve pages long, but I knew that wouldn’t be sufficient", + "\nin this case. Instead, I put my nose to the grindstone and wrote over\nthirty-five pages.\nI mailed a hard copy of the quote to him, since for a Blue the\nwritten and printed word means much more than t", + "he spoken—or\ndigital. After a week or so, I followed the whole thing up with a phone\ncall. They were interesting ideas, the CEO said, but he was ready to\ngo further. Could he now get the full quote? W", + "hat he actually said\nwas:\n“ I S T H E R E A N Y M O R E M A T E R I A L ? ”\nI remem ber scratching my head. In my opinion, I had described\nthe program rather well in the proposal. Each stage had a", + "n agenda,\na clear goal, and a defined purpose. I’d given some background\ninformation, references, and citations.\nAs a seller , you can’t give up, so I was back at it, addin g every\ndetail I could thi", + "nk of. The second time, I put together at least eighty-\nfive pages: each item broken down into two-hour intervals, even\nmore background, sample exercises, analysis tools, templates, the\nworks. Details", + " on a level that would have made a Y ellow throw up.\nPleased with myself, I sent over the whole caboodle.\nIt took several weeks before I heard from the CEO. I asked if he\nwas ready to make a decision ", + "and he asked:\n“ I S T H E R E M O R E M A T E R I A L ? ”\nWell, this time he wanted to come to my office. For ninety\nminutes, we sat on the same side of the table in the conference\nroom at my offic", + "e and went through … the table of contents in the\nproposal. He had drawn up the general terms and conditions (read:\nthe fine print) on legal paper , and each section was full of questions\nand notes. A", + "fterwards, he said with a totally expressionless face that\nit was the best meeting he had been at for a long time. But what he\nreally wondered was:\n“ I S T H E R E A N Y M O R E M A T E R I A L ? ", + "”\nI sent him off and sat down for a while and pondered . More\nmaterial? No problem. I shared the whole training folder (this was\nbefore e-learning and virtual classrooms), at least three hundred\npages", + " covering every fifteen-minute session during the fifteen days\nof training in five dif ferent stages of leadership.\nThis was all the material there was, even with information about\nwhen coffee breaks ", + "should be slotted in, exactly what questions\nshould be asked of the individuals during training, how the room\nshould be furnished, the works. I can certify—there were no gaps.\nI thought that if I too", + "k all this and rammed it down his throat he\nwould be satisfied at last.\nAfter a month, he asked if there was any more material.\nThere was not.\nA comm on misconception is that Blues are unable to make\n", + "decisions, but that’s not the case. It wasn’t that this CEO was\npushing the decision into sometime in the future or that he couldn’t\ndecide. He simply had no need to decide. For him, the process\nleadi", + "ng up to the decision was significantly more interesting. And he\njust wondered if there was any more material.\nWhy Some People Have to Sleep on Things for So\nLong You Wonder If They’ve Gone into Hiber", + "nation\nThe precedin g example also illustrates another important\ncharacteristic Blue behavior . They’re generally very cautious. They\noften think safety first. Where a Red or Yellow would take a wild\n", + "chance, a Blue will hold off and consider everything one more time.\nThere may be more factors to take into account, right? You need to\nget to the bottom of things before you act.\nThis can manifest its", + "elf in various ways. It’s a fact that for the\nBlue, the trip is more impo rtant than the destination, exactly the\nopposite of a Red. Obviously , this amount of caution can result in no\ndecisions being", + " made at all, and it also means that Blues rarely take\nany major risks. Never taking any risks ensures a predicta ble life; we\ncan probably agree on that. I’m not saying anything about how\nexciting ", + "and inspiring it would be; I’m just stating the facts.\nSometimes a Blue can even completely refrain from starting\nsomething because he can’t assess the risks. I once met a Blue\nseller who had trained ", + "as an engineer . His motto was that the best\ndeal is often the one you didn’t make. Risk assessment is a complex\nthing, and who knows what dangers are lurking out there? A Blue\ngenerally solves everyt", + "hing by creating advanced systems that\nmanage the possible risks that may arise. They set three alarm\nclocks. They leave two hours early when one would be enough.\nThey check and recheck the children’ ", + "s backpacks before school in\nthe morning, even though they packed them the night before and no\none has touched the backpacks during the night. They triple-check\nthat the keys are in their pocket and,", + " of course, they are. Where else\nwould they be?\nThe benefits of this are evident. Blues won’t be taken aback by\nunexpected events in the same way others would be. And in the long\nrun, they save a lot ", + "of time.\n“It Doesn’t Matter If It’s Easier. It’s Still Not Right.”\nThings can’t be allowed to go wrong. That’ s all there is to it. Quality\nis all that matters. When a Blue individual thinks his work ", + "runs the\nrisk of being shoddy or low quality , things come to a standstill.\nEverything must be checked out. Why has the quality declined?\nRunning the risk of generalizing, I would say that a fair numb", + "er of\nengineers have distinct Blue traits. Accurate, system atic, fact\noriented, and quality conscio us. I can’t know for certain, but I would\nimagine that Toyota, the Japanese car manufacturer , prob", + "ably has a\ngood proportion of Blue engineers among its employees. They have\na policy that you must always ask “why” five times to ensure quality\nand get to the heart of the issue. I would say that thi", + "s is a typical\nBlue approach (in addition to the Japanese mentality , which is very\nlong term and rather Blue in expression).\nSo let’s say someone discovers an oil stain on the floor. A Red\napproach m", + "igh t be to lambast the person closest to him and then\norder him to mop up the stain. A Yellow sees the stain and then\nforgets it but two days later is surprised when he slips on it. The\nGreen also se", + "es the stain and feels a little bit of guilt because it\nposes a problem and everyone is ignoring it.\nA Blue would ask, “Why is there an oil spill?” The answer may be\nthat a gasket is leaking. This ans", + "wer , of course, is unsatisfactory for\na Blue. “Why is the gasket leaking?” “Because it’ s poor quality .” “Why\ndo we have poor-quality gaskets in our factory?” “Because the\npurchasing department was ", + "told to save money . We bought cheap\ngaskets instead of tight-seale d gaskets.” “But who asked us to save\nmoney and compromise on quality?” This is the way he goes on.\nMaybe the problem will resolve i", + "tself. Maybe we’ll get a report of\nwhat went wrong, but nothing is done to fix the problem.\nIn the end, the Blue solution might be to review our purchasing\nstrategies instead of just mopping up the oi", + "l on the floor .\nMy point is this: A Blue is prepared to dive deep to get everything\nexactly 100 percent correct.\nBlues argue that if they’re going to do something, they must do it\ncorrectly . And vic", + "e versa—if a task isn’t worth being done properly ,\nthen it’s not worth doing at all. Furthermore, because Blues usually\nfind it difficult to lie, they will always point out the defects they\nuncover—e", + "ven defects that may reflect poorly on them.\nI clearly remember discussio ns my parents had when I was a\nchild. We moved from time to time, and usually our house had to be\nsold, with everything that", + " entailed. Dad—the engineer—would, of\ncourse, do all the work himself, and he managed the viewings\npersonally .\nMy mum was always upset that he began each viewing by\npointing out all the flaws and sho", + "rtcomings of the house. It leaked\nhere and there , and some paint had flaked off behind the sofa. “Why\nare you telling them that?” my mother wondered. “Becaus e this and\nthat is wrong,” Dad replied. “", + "Sure, but do you have to tell that to the\nprospective buyers? Now they may never want to buy the house!”\nHe didn’t understand the problem. As a very honorable and\nhonest person, he couldn’t hide the f", + "aults he knew were there. He\ncould live with the fact that we rarely made a huge profit on those\ndeals. He’d been honest about the house, because that’s how it\nshould be done.\n“If the Trail Doesn’t Ma", + "tch the Map, There’s\nSomething Wrong with the Trail.”\nLogical and rational thinking is critical to a Blue. Out with all the\nfeelings (as much as possible) and in with logic. Of course, Blues\ncan’t tur", + "n off their feelings completely—no one can—but they like to\nsay they use rational arguments when making decisions. They value\nlogical thinking highly , but they can very easily become depressed\nwhen t", + "hings don’t go their way. And depression has nothing to do\nwith logic and everything to do with feelings.\nFew people can repeat the same task an infinite number of times\nin exact ly the same way like ", + "Blues can. They have a unique ability to\nprecisely follow instructions to the letter without questioning,\nprovided they understood and approved of it in the beginning.\nHow do they do this without gett", + "ing bored or careless? Well, it’s\nlogical. If a particular method works, why change it? While a Yellow\nor Red would find new ways of doing something simply because they\nwere bored, a Blue repeats the ", + "same thing time and time again.\nConsider how a Blue would put together a piece of furniture from\nIKEA. If there’ s a manual, then of course you have to read it\nthoroughly before you start. Reds, confi", + "dent that they can easily do\nthis, start screwing and putting together the various parts without\neven looking to see what’ s in the rest of the box. Yellows tear up\neverything, exclaiming that it’s go", + "ing to be great fun to get the\nfurniture in place. They live in the future and can already see a clear\npicture of the new cabinet on the right wall of the bedroom with\nGrandma’ s tablecloth and a love", + "ly vase of tulips on it. They put each\npart together a little bit haphazardly , without much effort. They’ll\nscrew in a few screws where it looks logical only to skip to another\npart of the cabinet. A", + " Green DIY guy leans the enormous box\nagainst the wall and has a cof fee break. There really isn’t a hurry .\nWhat does a Blue do? He reads the instructions twice, examines\nwhat everythin g looks like,", + " and confirms that the different pieces of\nthe new cabinet match the pictures in the instructions. With a slightly\ndamp—not too wet—cloth, he carefully wipes down all the different\nparts because they ", + "are likely to be dusty . He tallies the number of\nscrews in the box so that he will not be surprised at the end if\nanything is missing (and if there are any parts left over, he may very\nwell take the ", + "whole thing apart again).\nIt may take a little extra time for a Blue to put together his cabinet,\nbut once it’ s done, you can be sure that it will stand forever .\n“The Devil Is in the Details.”\nA few", + " years ago, I wanted to renovate the patio in my yard. Because\nI like working with my hands, in contrast to just talking each day, I\nthought I would do the job myself. Or at least part of it. My dad, ", + "well\nover seventy at the time, was going to help out becaus e he knew\nthat I was pressed for time.\nEasier said than done. To provide a sturdy foundation, we were\ngoing to lay down gravel. Dad arrived ", + "a few moments before the\ndump truck with all the gravel. He had his own wheelbarrow with\nhim, specially designed to maneuver gravel, and a special shovel\nthat he always used for simila r purposes. He ", + "didn’t understand why I\nwas standing there with my regular shovel. Everyone knew that you\nhad to use special shovels for things like this.\nThe truck came and dropped a hefty pile of gravel in the\ndriv", + "e way. I imagine d a few days of shoveling before me, and to be\nhonest, it made me feel a little tired. But I was still ready to take on\nthe challenge.\nMy old dad? He picked up a bit of gravel between", + " his fingers,\nsmelled it, felt it, and assess ed its quality . After grunting somewhat,\nwhich I interpreted as approval, he began to assess the pile itself.\nHe measured the height of the mound with hi", + "s hand; he paced\nhow large the circumference was. I asked him what he was doing.\nHe didn’t answer but mumbled numbers under his breath.\n“One and eighty high, five meters in circumference, gradient …\n", + "hmm … “After thirty seconds, he said that there were between 8.75\nand 9.25 cubic meters of gravel in the driveway . I confided to him\nthat it was actually nine cubic meters. Exactly .\nDad asked rather", + " skepticall y how I knew that. I pointed. “It’s\nwritten on the truck,” I said.\nDad was mildly impressed. I asked if he wanted to count each\npiece of gravel individually . He didn’t deem that to be nec", + "essary .\nFor hours, he walked around the site and packed and pressed,\nraked the gravel, smoothing everything until he thought that\neverything was in order . He used a level, plumb line, water , all th", + "e\nmeans at his disposal, so that nothing would go wrong.\nThe gravel needed to be laid at an incline of exactly one\ncentimeter per meter . Why, you ask? “It says so in the book.”\nBecause he was a const", + "ruction engineer , he knew the book by heart.\nOne centimeter per meter . Exactly . Who knows what terrible\nconsequences could result if you were careless about that?\nConsider the difference between on", + "e centimeter and roughly one\ncentimeter . The former is precise; the latter is imprecise. Roughly\none centimeter—it could be up two centimeters if things went bad.\nFrom a one-centimeter to a two-centi", + "meter gradient—that’ s a\ndifference of no less than 100 percent, a huge deviation!\n(The funny thing about this story is not really the event itself, but\nwhat happened when Dad read about it in the fir", + "st edition of this\nbook. He argued that that’s not how it really happened. He corrected\nthe story on several points and claimed that the truck had held\ntwelve cubic meters—not nine. He also insists t", + "hat he’s not purely\nBlue, and there might just be something in that.)\nHe’s like that with everything . At home, if there are any technical\nquestions about a television, a car, a microwave oven, or a c", + "ell\nphone, out comes the manual. He always replies, “It says here\nthat… Why do you think they wrote this stuff if it’s not meant to be\ndone that way?”\nHow do you reply to that? How do you argue with t", + "he instruction\nmanual? It’s impossible to find arguments that a true Blue will\naccept. (My dad will also stop at a red light in the middle of the night,\neven if he is the only one within a ten-mile ra", + "dius. Because that’s the\nway you do it.)\nThe great value of this approach is obvious. He will never be\nfooled; he will always get what he paid for. It gives him an inner\npeace because he knows he has ", + "checked everything out very\naccurately .\nIf you know any Blues, I am sure you will agree with me. Under\nnormal circumstances, they’re very calm and balanced . Probably\nbecause they keep tabs on every", + "thing.\n“Silence Is Golden.”\nIntrovert. Enough said. I could stop there. Many Blues I’ve met don’t\nsay a single word unnecessarily . That’ s just the way it is. Does that\nmean they have nothing to say?", + " Don’t they have opinions about\nthings? Not at all, they are just very, very introverted. Blues are the\ncalm, stable individuals the Aztecs equated with the sea, the element\nof water .\nQuiet on the ou", + "tside, but under the surface anything could be\nhappening. “Introv erted” doesn’t mean silent; it means active in the\ninner world. But the ef fect of this is often quiet.\nIn general, my advice is to li", + "sten attentively when Blues do\nactually talk, because they’ve usually thought through what they say .\nSo why are they so silent? Among other things, it’s becau se they,\nunlike Yellows, don’t feel the ", + "need to be heard. Sitting in a corner\nand not being seen or heard makes no difference to them. They are\nobservers, spectators, more than central characters. They can find\nthemselves at the edge of a g", + "roup where they observe and record\neverything that is said.\nAnd don’t forget this: According to a Blue’ s values, being silent is\nsomething positive. If you have nothing to say—keep quiet.\nConclusions", + " on Blue Behavior\nDo you know everything about Blues? Have you identified some\nBlues in your life? Bill Gate s and Albert Einstein both used their\nattention to detail and meticulous nature to build th", + "eir success. We\nalso have Sandra Day O’Connor and Condoleezza Rice. And of\ncourse, from the fictional world, Mr. Spock from Star Trek is the\nperfect Blue— all logic, rationality , and intellect, even ", + "if a few of the\njokes slip past him.\n8\nNo One Is Completely Perfect\nStrengths and W eaknesses\nAs the title of this book suggests, there are individuals around us\nwho, under less favorable circumstance", + "s, we may find challenging to\nunderstand. There are others we don’t understand at all, no matter\nwhat the situation is. And the most difficult to interact with are those\nwho aren’t like us, because t", + "hey obviously behave “incorrectly .”\nThe Differences Begin to Become Clear\nYou can see the general differences among the different colors. The\nillustration on page 63 show s an example of how they dif", + "fer. Some\npeople are issue oriented, and others are relation oriented. While\ntwo of them (Red and Yellow) are quick to act, the Greens and Blues\nare reflective. This is often the source of everyday\nm", + "isunderstandings, both large and small. I will come back to this on\npage 193, but I would like to take this opportunity to provide some\nnuances to the illustration of the different core behavior patte", + "rns that\neach color represents.\nI’m not saying that you would call people idiots, like Sture, who\nopened my eyes at the beginning of this book. Howe ver, in all\nhonesty, all of us, on occasion, have ", + "just stood there, unable to\ncomprehend a comment we’ve heard or watched someone behave\nin way that is diametrically opposed to how we would have behaved.\nAnd so we believe that they’re idiots.\nThis r", + "easoning assumes that “I am always right,” which of course\nmeans that the other person, and their form of behavior , is\nautomatically wrong. It’s a tricky question. A wise person once said\nthat “just ", + "beca use you’re right, I don’t have to be wrong.” We also\ntend to pay special attention to the faults and shortcomings of others.\nChild psychologists have argued that the things we find most\nshocking ", + "in the behavior of our children are the things we recognize\nin ourselves—but wish we didn’t do. So who decides what kind of\nbehavior is right and wrong?\nTime for a Real Cliché\nOn the one hand, no one ", + "is perfect. There you go, a real platitude.\nBut really , there are no perfect human beings; no one is without\nfaults or shortcomings. In my youth, I was constantly looking for a\nrole model who could b", + "ecome my mentor in life—that person, a man\nor woman, completely free from shortcomings—but I never found\none. I still haven’t seen any trace of this elusive perfect human. And,\nof course, that’s the w", + "ay it is. We live with our shortcomings and\nmake the best of things.\nOn the other hand, when we think someone is an idiot is it really\nbecause of their faults and shortcomings or have we failed to\nund", + "erstand them? An attribut e that may be useful in some situations\nis unsuitable in others. It’s important to remember that\ncommunication usually takes place on the recipient’ s terms.\nWhatever people’", + " s judgment of me may be, that is the way they\nperceive me. Regardless of what I really meant or intended. As\nalways, it’s all about self-awareness. Good qualities can become\ndrawbacks in the wrong ci", + "rcumstances, no matter what the quality is.\nQuick Review of Core Behavior Patterns\nReds are quick and more than happy to take command if needed.\nThey make things happen. However , when they get going", + ", they\nbecome control freaks and can be hopeless to deal with. And they\nrepeatedly trample on people’ s toes.\nY ellows can be amusin g, creative, and elevate the mood regardle ss\nof who they’re with.", + " However , when they are given unlimited space,\nthey will consume all the oxygen in the room, they won’t allow\nanyone into a conversation, and their stories will reflect reality less\nand less.\nThe fri", + "endly Greens are easy to hang out with because they are so\npleasant and genuinely care for others. Unfortunately , they can be\ntoo wishy-washy and unclear . Anyone who never takes a stand\neventually ", + "becomes difficult to handle. You don’t know where they\nreally stand, and indecision kills the energy in other people.\nThe analytical Blues are calm, levelheaded, and think before they\nspeak. Their ab", + "ility to keep a cool head is undoubtedly an enviable\nquality for all who aren’t capable of doing that. However , Blues’\ncritical thinking can easily turn to suspicion and questioning those\naround them", + ". Everything can become suspect and sinister .\nIn the following sections, I deal with how people might perceive\nthe weaknesse s of certain behavior patterns. Naturally , this is a\nsensitive area and c", + "an be easily misunderstood. When I coach\nindividuals, this is usually where things can get messy . So as you\nread on be aware that much is in the eye of the beholder . Who is\nright and who is wrong? T", + "he behavior patterns I am talking about are\ndescribed as other people may perceive them, even if the intention\nof the person who just made a fool of himself might have been\ncompletely dif ferent.\nOne ", + "thing I know for sure regarding the different colors is that\neach color evaluates themselves in different ways. Reds and Yellows\ntend to inflate their streng ths and believe that they have no\nweaknes", + "ses. They have powerful egos, and a great part of their\nsuccess can probably be attributed to the fact that they don’t get\nbogged down in faults and shortcomings but instead look for\nopportunities a", + "nd good news. Clearly , this can’t be maintained over\ntime.\nConversely , Greens and Blues usually exaggerate their\nweaknesses and in certain cases even ignore their strengths. The\nconsequences are cle", + "ar . When you give positive feedback to a\nGreen or a Blue, they sometimes appear to be immune to it and\nchange the subject to something that went seriously wrong.\nObviously , this is highly unproduct", + "ive.\nWell—are we ready to go?\nHow Red People Are Perceived\nIf you ask other people about Reds, you might get a different picture\nfrom the one the Red gives of himself. What a surprise! My own\nprivate ", + "researc h shows that Reds are surrounded by more idiots\nthan the rest of us. Many people will agree with what you have read\nup to now about Reds, but I have also heard other comments.\nUsually , they e", + "xpress this when the Red is not in the room because\nthey are afraid of his fiery temper . You’ve heard him say that he\nwants to hear the truth. Over the years, he’s bellowed into our ears\n“Say what y", + "ou think!” But as soon as you do, you find yourself in the\nmiddle of a heated discussion with an angry Red. This means that\nwhat you are going to read now will often be completely new for\nmany Reds. N", + "ot many of us have ever been able to make these\npoints to a Red before. It takes way too much energy .\nSome people say that Reds are just belligerent, arrogant, and\negotistical. They are perceive d as", + " unyielding, impatient, aggressive,\nand controlling.\nI don’t think this is necessarily correct, but I’ve even heard people\nspeak about people with Red behavior as dictatorial and tyrannical.\nSuddenly ", + "the picture isn’t as flattering. The born leader reveals his\nblemished side.\nFirst of all, let me say this: Nothing said previously would\nnecessarily bother a Red, because he is more task oriented tha", + "n\nrelationship oriented. Besides , everyone else is wrong. But let’s see\nwhat everyone else has to say .\n“ W h y D o e s E v e r y t h i n g T a k e S o L o n g ? C a n ’ t Y o u S p e e d T ", + "h i n g s U p a B i t ? ”\nWell, what can you say? A person willing to step outside any\nregulatory framework to get ahead is nothing if not impatient. When\nthe usual official channels take too long,", + " a Red will scale over a few\nlevels of decision makers and expeditiously look for the person who\nreally calls the shots.\nThe first example that comes to mind was the traffic in my\nbeautiful capita l c", + "ity. Sure, many locals are in more of a hurry than\nthe national average when they sit behind the wheel—there are\nstatistics about this. But since we’re talking about Red behavior , I’d\nlike to tell yo", + "u about a collea gue I had a few years ago. Björn and I\nused a car as our principal means of transport in and around the city.\nIt simply took too long to use public transport. Björn lost his license\ne", + "very so often because of his somewhat liberal approach to speed\nlimits.\nHe lived far outside the city, and the journey into the office, about\ntwenty miles away , could take about forty minutes. That w", + "as on a\ngood day; it could just as easily take an hour and a half.\nBjörn rarely felt the need to adjust his driving according to the\nflow of traffic. His opinion was that there was no reason for him t", + "o\nfollow every single traffic rule. The posted speed limits here and\nthere—fifty , sixty, and so on—they were mostly recommendations.\nThey didn’t apply to him. They were there for people who didn’t re", + "ally\nknow how to drive a car!\nOn one occasi on I was sitting in the office with a few colleagues\nhaving a cup of coffee, discussing the rather serious traffic situation.\nIt felt as if the city was on ", + "the verge of a traffic infarction. Björn didn’t\nknow what we were talking about. He wasn’t aware of the problem at\nall. On the contrary , he felt that the traffic hadn’t been bad lately .\nWhen we ques", + "tioned him a bit more, it turned out that he usually\ndrove in the bus lane. All the way. For over twenty miles. It was so\nmuch quicker that way. Björn even maintained that this was okay.\nYou could eve", + "n get a permit for the bus lane. That’ s what he did, and\nit cost him about $140 a month.\nAbout every four weeks the police stopped him, but it was worth\nit. Just imagine how much time he saved! And ", + "all it cost him was the\nfines. He felt it was a good deal.\nThis story illustrates quite clearly how Red behavior works. They\nknow just as well as everyon e else that it’s wrong to break the rules;\nhow", + "ever , since it’s quicker that way, they do it anyway . Reds are\nnotorious rule breakers. Once again, I would like to remind you of\ntheir intentions—to get the job done.\nReds have no problem taking o", + "ne or two shortcuts, as long as it’s\nabout getting things done. With such a generous approach to\nregulations and rules, you’ll definitely arrive faster . I would even say\nthat a Red is often so fast t", + "hat if something were to go wrong he\nwould still manage to redo the project. At the same time, no one else\never really knows what’ s going to happen.\n“ I A m N o t S c r e a m i n g ! I ’ m N o t ", + " A n g r y ! A a a r r r g h h h h ! ”\nBecause the way Reds communicate is so blunt and so direct,\nmany perceive them as aggressive. This is logical, but at the same\ntime this perception varies, depe", + "nding on who becomes the victim of\nthe Red’s forceful points of view. For instance, in Swed en it’s not\nacceptable to behave in the kind of confrontational manner that\nwould be fine in Germany or Fran", + "ce. I’m not saying that people\nquarrel more in these countri es, but that they have a slightly different\napproach to conflicts.\nJust imagine. In many workplaces people are encourage d to be\ncandid and", + " “have open communication.” What does this really\nmean? It’s easy to interpret it as meaning we should all be honest\nwith one another and just say whatever we think, right? We want to\nhave open and fo", + "rthright dialogue. That’ s excellent; for any\norganization to be efficient, it’s necessary to have straightforward\ncommunication about things that are important.\nSo who excels at frank communication? ", + "And can receive the\nsame without getting cranky? Answer: No one.\nBesides Reds, of course. For them, this is a nonissue. “Why are\nwe even talking about communication? It’s obvious that you say\nwhat yo", + "u think!” Many people find this stressful; to constantly have\nthe truth pushe d into your face can be onerous if you have difficulty\ntaking it.\nMy goal here isn’t to define what’ s right or wrong; I o", + "nly want to\nestablish that all of us are dif ferent.\nSo why do we sometimes perceive Red behavior as threatening\nand belligerent? Could it be that they don’t give up right away? That\nthey like to argu", + "e and debate even small matters if they find them\nimportant? That they’ll raise their voices, glare daggers at people,\nand pound their fists on the table if it suits them? That sometimes\nthey express ", + "themselves rather rudely?\nImagine the following scenario:\nYou have a project, something that you’ve spent a few days on,\nor maybe even weeks. You begin to doubt yourself—have you\nsucceeded at your wor", + "k? Is it as good as you wanted it to be? Would\nyou dare show it to the client as it is now, or should you ask for some\nfeedback from someone who you know will give you an honest\nanswer?\nJust then a Re", + "d comes sauntering by, and you take a chance.\nYou are fully aware that this colleague—spouse, friend, cousin,\nneighbor—will be honest. You ask for a frank opinion. With a degree\nof pride in your voice", + ", you show him what you’ve accomp lished, and\nyou go through your process step by step. Without you noticing, the\nRed becomes impatient because he’s already decided what his\nopinion is and he’s getti", + "ng tired of you doing all the talking for so\nlong.\nWith a wave of his hand that effectively silences you, the Red\nsays, “It doesn ’t look that good. I don’t really like what you’ve done\nhere. In fact,", + " it looks pretty rough. I’m amazed that you didn’t do\nbetter than this. I think you have to redo the whole thing from start to\nfinish.”\nThen he leaves without thinking any more about it. You’re left\nt", + "here feeling forlorn and crushed, regardless of what color you are.\nExaggerated? Can this happ en in real life? At this stage, if you\nbelieve that such nasty peop le don’t really exist then you’ve nev", + "er\nmet a genuine Red. Or the Reds you have met have essentially\nlearned how to be dishonest.\nThink about it. What’ s the purpose of cutting a person down to\nsize so completely? What were the Red’s int", + "entions? It was to do\nexactly what you asked. Y ou wanted an honest opinion!\n“Say exactly what you think ,” you said. It’s possible you even\nadded: “I won’t be angry/ sad/disappointed/suicidal.” “Be p", + "repared,”\nsays the Red, “because here it comes.” By asking for an honest\nopinion, you released a flood of brutal candor . But you’ll survive—\nperhaps with your self-confidence a little waterlogged and", + " your ego\nutterly drowned.\nAs a consultant, I have explained countless times that when a\nRed goes all out on an issue that’s important to him, an issue on\nwhich he does not intend to give up—well, the", + " storm will be brutal. If\nyou’re afraid of conflict, then you shouldn’t put yourself in that\nsituation. A Red has no probl em with conflict. Reds don’t consciously\ncreate conflict, but a refreshing qu", + "arrel every now and then can be a\ngood thing, don’t you think? It’ s just another way to communicate.\nA little tip: The worst thing you can do once you get into a conflict\nwith a Red is back off. That", + " tactic can cause you serious problems.\nMore on that later .\n“ W h a t A r e Y o u D o i n g o v e r T h e r e ? I C a n S e e W h a t Y o u ’ r e ( N o t ) D o i n g ! ”\nWhat’ s behind t", + "he need to control? Simply put, the desire for\ncontrol is a phenomenon where an individual needs to have power\nover a situation in which either groups or individuals are present.\nThose who have contro", + "l needs often feel extremely uneasy about\nhaving to adapt themselves to a group or a situation and will eagerly\ncome up with various strategies to avoid this. A comm on form of\nbehavior is to talk con", + "stantly , interrupting and ignoring others, in\norder to maintain control over the conversation.\nReds can probably be perceived as extremely overbearing, but\nit’s important to note they are interested", + " in controlling those around\nthem, but not in controlling every specific detail of a situation.\n(Attention to or control over detail isn’t something we can accuse\nReds of.) But it is important for a ", + "Red to feel that he can influence\nwhat people do and how they intend to act on certain specific issues.\nAt the heart of this need for control is a belief that they know more\nthan anyone else. And beca", + "use a Red feels he knows best, he will\nkeep tabs on everyone around him to ensure that they all do the right\nthing. The advantage for a Red is that he gets everythin g done his\nway. The disadvantage i", + "s obvious: everyone else feels controlled.\nSome people think it’s a good thing when someone else makes the\ndecisions and holds the baton, but others feel limited and just want\nto escape.\nMany years ag", + "o, I worked for a company in which one of the\nmiddle manage rs was quite Red. (She was also a bit Blue—see the\nsection on Blue behavior .) When she delegated tasks to the\nemployees the effect was quit", + "e amusing. She usually had no\nproblem relinquishing certain things; she was even good at\ndelegating enjoyable tasks, something many executive s can find\ndifficult. Howev er, since she was Red, she was", + " very quick in thought\nand action. In practice, this meant that she hung around after she\nhad delegated a specific task—and if the task wasn’t done\nimmediately she would simply go and do it herself. W", + "hen the\nemployee in question got to that item on his to-do list, he often\ndiscovered that it had already been done. Note: The dead line hadn’t\nbeen reached yet.\nBecause this middle manager was Red-Blu", + "e, she did a much\nbetter job than what the employee would have had he been given\nthe chance. Red means fast; Blue means high quality in\nimplementation. Unfortunat ely, criticism of the employee’ s\nslu", + "ggishness was not slow in coming. As the Blue part of this\nmanager was precise with the details and the Red part gave criticism\nvery readily, she was perceived as quite rigid. Which bring s us on to\nt", + "he next section.\n“ I T r y t o C a r e A b o u t Y o u , b u t I t W o u l d H e l p I f Y o u W e r e a L i t t l e M o r e\nI n t e r e s t i n g . ”\nHave you ever met a person comple", + "tely without feelings? No, I\nthought so. Once again—Reds are not typical relational people.\nNothing wrong with that, as long as the person you are\ncommunicating with has the same focus as you. But if ", + "a Red speaks\nto a pronounced relational person, like a Yellow or a Green, he can\nbe perceived as very coldhearted or inhuman.\nLet me illustrate this with an example from my own personal\nexperience.\nI ", + "had a colleag ue, whom I always appreciated very much (notice\nthat I start with the positives, to avoid ruf fling feathers—very Swedish\nof me) and still have great respect for as a professional but al", + "so as a\ngood friend. Okay , it’s the infamous Bj örn again.\nA few years ago, we were having a tough period in the company .\nFall had been a difficult and strenuous time: long days, late nights,\nand fr", + "equent weekend work . We had worn ourselves out, we had\nworn one another out, and we had worn out our respective families.\nWe were on our knees. We really deserved a quiet and restful\nholiday season.\n", + "For the compa ny holiday party we went to a Japanese restaurant.\nWe had taken our shoes off and were sitting on cushions, each\nholding a glass of sake in his hands. In typical Swedish fashion, we\nlook", + "ed at the menus while, at the same time, keeping an eye on\nwhat the others were thinking of ordering. Of course, most of us\ndidn’t want to order something that no one else chose.\nExcept for Björn. He ", + "glanced quickly through the menu and\ndeclared what he had in mind. He was ready now and quickly grew\nweary of those of us who hadn’t decided yet. Needing something to\ndo, he started a conversation. ", + "At the time, my daughter had just\nchanged schools, and Bj örn was inquisitive.\n“How did everything go with the new school? How’ s the little\nlassie doing?” Pleasantly surprised by his concern for my d", + "aughter , I\nstarted to tell him. After about twenty seconds I noted that Björn’s\neyes began to wander . He looked around the restaurant with a facial\nexpression that said: Why is he telling me this?\nH", + "e looked at me with a smile I interpreted as You know me. You\nknow how I function. I don’t actually want to talk any more about that!\nAnd he quickly began talking about something completely dif ferent", + ".\nOrdinarily , I should have been a little bit offended, maybe even\ninsulted. How can anyone be so insensitive? Especially when the\nother person is talking about something that he himself inquired\nabo", + "ut?\nDoes this mean that Björn is coldhearted or that he cares nothing\nfor other people? Not at all. He cares just as much as anyone else,\nbut when he realized that everything was fine with my daughter", + " he\nsimply lost interest. In usual fashion, he announced that the channel\nof communication was closed . Instead of sitting there hemming and\nhawing, preten ding to be interested in more or less meanin", + "gless\ndetails, he said exactly what he felt.\nRemember that we’re talking about interpretations and\nperceptions here. The intent ion behind a particular behavior is one\nthing; how we as recipients perc", + "eive it is another . Perso nally, I just\nwanted to laugh the whole thing off, because I knew Björn very well.\nI knew that he would never dream of hurting anyone deliberately .\nWhen he tramples on peop", + " le’s toes from time to time it’s never\nintentional—it just happens. In reality , he is one of the warmest and\nmost generous people I have ever met. It’s just that you have to\nknow him to understand t", + "his.\nWhat would have been the correct answer to Bjorn’ s question\nabout my daughter?\n“Great.”\nIt would have been enough.\n“ I t T a k e s S t r e n g t h t o B e A l o n e , a n d I ’ m t h e ", + "S t r o n g e s t o f Y o u A l l . ”\nThe word “egotistic” comes from the Latin word “ego,” meaning\n“I.” My I is, therefore, my ego. Linguistically , we have consequently\nchosen to put some kind o", + "f equal sign between people with strong\negos and being selfish. Natur ally, there are many people in our world\nwho are selfish and egotist ical. The world is teeming with them.\nAgain, I want you to re", + "member that we are speaking here about\nperceived behavior .\nIf we look at how a Red communicates, we can understa nd why\nmany perceive him as egotistic:\n• “I think we should accept this proposal.”\n• ", + " “I want that assignment.”\n• “This is what I think about it.”\n• “I have a good idea.”\n• “Will we do this my way or the wrong way?”\nAdd a sharp eye and distinctive body language and you will see\nsom", + "eone who will take what he wants. He will fight for his interests.\nHe will tell everyone who will listen that he is capable of doing\nwhatever he undertakes. Some people, especially Greens, find that\nt", + "his “I” form of speaking is unsettling. A Red’s “I” message occupies\ntheir minds. (They share this trait with Yellows, who also have strong\negos.)\nBut we’ve learned to take care of one another . We kn", + "ow that\nbeing solitary is not the same thing as being strong, that we need\none another to survive. Coop eration is the model, and I’ve preached\nthis for over two decades. So we think it’ s egotistic w", + "hen Reds speak\nonly about themselves. They make sure to help themselves before\nhelping others. They are often willing to trample on some one else if\nthey see an opportunity to advance themselves. The", + "y may not do\nthis consciously , but the ef fect is the same.\nReds often come out the winners in discussions. They see this as\na natural part of a conversation. They always know best and will\nassert th", + "at everyone else is wrong. It suits their ego to behave this\nway. The aftermath of this method is that they lose friends, people\ncan dislike them, and they are cut off from information because no\none ", + "wants them in the group . Once they’ve noticed this, they may\nwell just decide that all the other people are idiots.\nA few years ago, I was one of six people who was seate d at the\ntable having an eve", + "ning meal. In some anguish, a man, Green-Blue,\ntold me he was not feeling well. He couldn’t live up to the\nresponsibilities his employer laid on his shoulders. He was hard-\npressed by his burdensome ", + "workload, and he found it difficult to\nsleep at night. This caused even more stress for him because he\nknew that if he didn’t get a good night’ s rest it would be even harder\nfor him to perfo rm at wo", + "rk. His wife, sitting beside him, tried to hide\nher discomfort. The situation was certainly not comfortable for\nanyone in the room. Every one at the table offered encouraging\nremarks along with cautio", + "us questions about how he thought he\nmight be able to reverse the difficult situation. We all expressed our\nsupport as far as we could.\nExcept for the Red. After ten minutes, the only Red at the table", + "\nfinally had enough and tore into the distraught, stressed-out little\ndevil.\nThe Red’s analysis was as clear as day: “I think you complain too\nmuch. You’re just earning your salary . I’ve never been s", + "ick, and I\nthink people worry too much; I would never end up in your situation,\nand I really think you should pull yourself together .”\nWhat a dinner that was! Let’s be honest—Reds are the ones who\nal", + "ways believe they are surrounded by idiots.\nHow Yellow People Are Perceived\nFunny , entertai ning, and almost divinely positive. Absolute ly. Again—\nthis is their own interpretation . If you ask other", + " people about Yellows,\nyou may well get a somew hat different picture. Many people will\nagree with what you have read up to now, but you will also hear\nother commen ts. It’s especially fun to ask the ", + "Blues. They will say\nthat Yellows are selfish, superficial, and overly self-confident.\nSomeone else will say that they talk too much and are bad listeners.\nCombine that with the obser vation that they", + " can be distracted and\ncareless. Suddenly the picture is not as flattering.\nWhen a Yellow hears these comments, one of two things can\nhappen. Either he gets deeply distressed and genuinely hurt, or h", + "e\nsets off a ferocious argument. It depends. What’ s striking is that,\nover time, none of this criticism will really torment a Yellow very\nmuch. On the one hand, he’s a bad listener , and on the other", + " hand,\nhe has what some psychologists might call a selective memory . He\nsimply forgets the difficult bits, and with his positive ethos he finds it\neasy to say to himself that he doesn’t have any fau", + "lts or\nshortcomings.\nLet’s have a look at what Yellows struggle with—even if they don’t\nalways know it.\n“ H e l l o , A n y o n e T h e r e ? L i s t e n t o W h a t H a p p e n e d t o M e ! ", + " Y o u W a n t t o K n o w ,\nR i g h t ? ”\nAt the beginni ng of this chapter, I pointed out that Yellows are\nvery good communicators. I would like to repeat that now .\nYellows are very good communi", + "cators. With an emphasis on\n“very .” None of the other colors come close to the Yellows’ ease in\nfinding words, expressing themselves, and telling a story . It comes\nso easily , so simply , so effortl", + "essly , that you can’t help being\nimpressed. It’s common knowledge that most people don’t like\nspeaking in front of others. They get heart palpit ations and sweaty\npalms, terrified of making fools of", + " themselves. This is totally alien to\nYellows. Makin g fools of them selves isn’t part of the deal, and if the\nimprobable were to happen you could always laugh it off with\nanother amusing anecdote.\nHo", + "wever , it may be too much of a good thing. Regardless of what\nyou are good at, there is a limit, a time to break off. Yellows,\nespecially those without self-awareness, don’t have such a limit. It\nwou", + "ld never even occur to them to wrap up; if they have something\nto say, out it comes. The fact that no one else thinks it’s important is\nneither here nor there.\nA Yellow behaves exactly like most peopl", + "e—he does what he’s\ngood at. And he is good at talking. There are countless examples of\nYellows who completely dominate a conversation. Then add a hefty\ndose of poor listening and an interesting (read", + ": one-sided)\ncommunication takes place.\nMany people become hugely frustrated by this limitless verbosity .\nIt’s often perceived as egocentrism. The terms “windbag,” “verbal\ndiarrhea,” and “motormouth”", + " were more than likely coined with\nYellows in mind.\nCountless times I’ve experienced the following: A group of people\nare sitting around a boardr oom table. The top dog in the room\nexpresses an idea; ", + "it can be about anything at all. When the time\ncomes for comments, all the Yellows will reinforce the idea by\nrepeating the exact same thing, possibly with their own words. (I\nwould like to say to the", + " wom en reading this that I am aware of the\nfact that this is more male behavior than female.) Why do they do\nthat? Well, first, it’s important to signal when you are in agreement,\nand second, they ca", + "n say it so much better .\nA few years ago, I was with a management team studyin g group\ndynamics. I had just purchased a cell phone with a stopwatch. Using\nthis, I could time who had spoken in the gro", + "up and for how long.\nIn the room were the CEO and his seven closest associates.\nPeter , the sales manager , was really Yellow and he had only had one\npoint of the nineteen on the agenda. Take a good l", + "ook at the ratio\n1:19. This represents around 5.3 percent of the agenda.\nThe CEO opened the meeting, but pretty soon a clear pattern\nemerged. Peter had opinions about every single item on the agenda.", + "\nI used my stopwatch and was fascinated by what I saw. He spoke 69\npercent of the time. Yes. It’s true. Thirty-one percent went to the\nother seven, including the CEO himself.\nIf you’re Yellow , you m", + "ay have already charged on ahead in this\nbook, because you possibly recognized yourself and thought that\nthis was a very unfair exam ple. Everyone else is wondering how\nthat’s even possible. How can o", + "ne person dominate the conversation\nso fully? It’s possible because Yellows have no problems delivering\nopinions, views, and advice regardless of whether they know\nanything about the subject or not. A", + " Yellow has a generous approach\nto his own ability—when an idea pops up in his head, he simply\nopens his mouth.\nPeople say that for Reds thought and action are the same thing.\nFor Yellows, I would sug", + "gest the idea that thought and speech are\ninterrelated. What Yellows share is often completely unprocessed\nmaterial that just tumbles out of the big opening on their faces. Sure,\nit might be well thou", + "ght out, but it’s usually not. What’s most\ndeceptive is that, almost without exception, it sounds very good.\nYellows know a thing or two about presenting an idea so that it\nalways sounds fantastic. If", + " you’re unfamiliar with this particular\nperson, you may very well take everything he says as true—a\nserious mistake.\nVery often a Yellow is both entertaining and inspiring, and as I\nsaid, they can ins", + "pire people to new ideas. But should you get into a\nconversation with a Yellow , you need to be observant so that when\nhe catches his breath you can quickly insert a comment. Or simply\nclose the meet", + "ing.\n“ I K n o w I t L o o k s M e s s y , b u t T h e r e ’ s a M e t h o d t o t h e M a d n e s s ! ”\nA Yellow would hardly admit that he’s careless. But he has no\nnatural way to keep tr", + "ack of things. He finds working in a structured\nway boring. Then you have to fit the mold and follow the template. If\nthere is anything that Yellows avoid, it’s feeling controlled by fixed\nsystems.\nTh", + "e solution is to keep everything in your head, which doesn’t\nwork. It’s not possible to remember everything. So inevitably the\nYellow forgets and those around him think he’s careless. Missed\nappointm", + "ents, forgotten deadlines, and half-finished projects all\nbecause once his mind has finished the task he doesn’t go\nbackwards. He goes forward . Leaps to the next project. Deals with\nother things.\nDet", + "ails. To complete a proje ct, you usually need to be precise\nabout details. Yellows don’t like keeping track of details. I would even\nventure to say that they’re not interested in details. They paint", + " with\nbroad strokes.\nGenerally , Yellows are very good at launching things. They’re\nresourceful, and with boundless creativity at their disposal, they can\nkick off various kinds of proje cts. But the", + "y’re not as good at finishing\nthings. Finishing anything 100 percent requires an ability to\nconcentrate that a Yellow rarely possesses. He gets tired and moves\non. And so we think that he’s careless. ", + "He thinks that his work is\ngood enough. My goodness, why worry about trifles? This turned out\nquite well, after all! The fact that threads are hanging from the shirt\nor that the document is full of sp", + "elling errors is not as important as\nthinking up new things.\nThis is repeated in many different spheres. I have a few\nacquaintances who are hope less at keeping time. They are always\npleased and excit", + "ed to think things up, but they are optimists when it\ncomes to time. It makes absolutely no difference what time you\nsuggest; they will not be on time. Seven o’clock, half past seven, or\neight. It’s u", + "nimportant. They’ re late regardless. And when they talk\nabout it, they haggle down their late arrival from forty-five minutes to\na little over fifteen minutes. After a while, they actually believe i", + "t\nthemselves. But it doesn’t matter—the rest of us wait patiently\nbecause their presence will be the highlight of the evening.\n“ L o o k , I C a n J u g g l e A l l t h e B a l l s a t t h e ", + "S a m e T i m e ! ”\nWe need to talk a little about Yellow’ s inability to concentrate.\nHe’s always prepared for new experiences. This is the downside to\nthe incredible openness Yellows have for new t", + "hings, ideas, and\nimpressions. There are so many new things!\nAnd because “new” is synonymous with “good” for a Yellow , it’s\nbest that something new happens all the time. Otherwise, our Yellow\nfriend ", + "will lose focus. He can’t be bothered listening to the whole\nstory , the background, and all the details and facts that may actually\nbe relevant. It’s not interesting to him, and he will lose his\nconc", + "entration.\nWhat does he do then? Simple. Something else. He throws up\nanother ball to juggle. The problem with all these balls is that he\nmight be able to keep them in the air for a while, but he can’", + "t get\nthem down into the right box at the right time. Instead, he leaves the\nroom and the juggled balls tumble down right into someone else’s\nlap. In a meeting, he may very well start playing with his", + " mobile\nphone or his computer or will start chatting to the person beside him.\nSoftly at first, thinking that no one will notice anything. It’s not true, of\ncourse; everyone gets quite irritated. But ", + "if no one says anything he’ll\njust continue. Here Yellows are like little children. They are good at\ntesting the limits. They conti nue until someone becomes too angry\nand puts his foot down. And, of", + " course, then the Yellow feels hurt.\nHe just wanted to …\nThe way Yellows often quickly get bored can have far greater\nconsequences than a little disruptive behavior during meetings.\nThey’re not good a", + "t everyday trivial things like administration and\nfollow-ups. As usual, most Y ellows would contest what I just wrote. In\ntheir own eyes, they are the masters even here. But if we consider\nthe ability", + " to follow up, this could be a serious threat to the effective\nimplementation of a project.\nNew project—great! Put together a new and dynamic team full of\ninteresting people—check! Get everything goin", + "g and develop ideas\nand concepts—are you kidding? Already done that! Working like\ncrazy in the beginning to really get things sped up? Yup. But then?\nFollowing up on what is actually happening or not ", + "happ ening in a\nproject is extremely boring. That means looking backwards; that’s\ndull, and it won’t happen. A Yellow can’t keep his concentration long\nenough to follow through. He would rather persua", + "de himself that it’s\nimportant to have confidence in people and just trust that the project\ngets done\nA funny example happened once when I coached sales reps at a\nlarge commerc ial TV channel. I sat ", + "with a female seller , a clever\nyoung woman who made big business deals. We had identified\nsome weaknesses in her behavior profile—after she had struggled to\nconvince me that even bad traits could be", + " quite good—and now\nstarted to make a plan for how she would proceed in her personal\ndevelopment.\nIt began to fall apart on the first point: When would she begin?\nShe couldn’t start that day because i", + "t was already past three in\nthe afternoon. And tomorrow was full of meetings. It had to be next\nweek. But she was away then. Maybe the week after that; she would\ncheck her calendar and see.\nShe had lo", + "st the match before she had even begun.\n“ M e ! M e ! ! M e ! ! ! ”\nYellows aren’t necessarily more selfish than others, but they\nalways seem to be. Why? Mostly because of their dialogue, since\nthey", + " primarily talk about themselves. And when other people are not\nsufficiently interesting and exciting, a Yellow will interrupt and guide\nthe topic towards something far more interesting—not infrequen", + "tly\nhimself.\nI remem ber a seller I encou ntered during a conference with a\npharmaceutical company a few years ago. Gustav exhibited all of the\nless successful aspects of Y ellow behavior , and the pr", + "oblem was that\nhe was completely unaware of it. He very rarely spoke about\nanything but himself and the things he had done, and he behaved as\nif he were the one who was leading the conference and not ", + "me. I\nhave my meth ods to deal with those boys. But it’s amusin g to study\nthem for a while before I adjust their behavior with a few choice\nwords during the first break.\nA few examples: Every time I ", + "put a question to the group, Gustav\nanswered. His quick answers would have indicated enga gement—if\nit had not been for the fact that he was often actuall y spewing\nnonsense. He simply said the things", + " that popped into his head. He\ncouldn’t keep his thoughts in his own head, and everything just\ntumbled out. When I direc ted my attention to one of Gustav’ s\ncolleagues instead of him, he simply leane", + "d into my field of vision\nand continued talking.\nWhen I began directing questions to specific people in the room—\nsimply calling them by name—Gustav answered anyway . Pretty\nimpressive, right? He woul", + "d speak for a while and then ask Sven,\n“That’ s what you were going to say, right, Sven?” Sven just shook his\nhead. He was used to this. Gustav continued like that the whole\nmorning before I could rei", + "n in him. He just charged in whenever\nthere was a gap or a few seconds’ silence.\nHe never allowed anyone to speak and everything he said was to\nbe taken as gospel truth. He dominated the room without ", + "even\nthinking about the other nineteen people. The funny thing was that\neveryone was aware of what was going on. But no one had the\nenergy to stand up to Gustav . They just stared at me with slight\nde", + "speration in their eyes, hoping that I had some way of silencing\nhim.\nDuring lunch, he proclaimed far and wide, so that everyone heard\nit, that he thought the conference was going very well. By that p", + "oint\nthe majority of the group hated the very sound of his voice. They\ncould barely put up with him. To save them from their suffering, I had\nto have a quick feedback intervention with him during the", + " coffee\nbreak—something you’ll learn more about when I discuss giving\nfeedback.\n“ Y o u N e v e r T o l d M e T h a t , I W o u l d R e m e m b e r ! ”\nIf a Yellow is anything, it’s a bad liste", + "ner . They’re really miserable\nat it, in point of fact. Many Yellows I have met say that they are very\ngood listeners—and of course supplied entertaining examples of this\nundeniable fact—but maybe it ", + "could be their memory that was at\nfault. Basically , they believe that they listen very well, but somewhere\nalong the way to the brain’ s storage shelves whatever they heard\nsimply gets lost—poof!\nNo,", + " it’s not about memory . It’s about how a Yellow is often\nuninterested in what others say because he knows he could say it so\nmuch better himself. He doesn’t stay focused; he begins thinking\nabout oth", + "er things, begins doing other things. He does not want to\nlisten—he wants to talk.\nThey’re also quite childish in that they only like doing things that\nare enjoyable. If a statement or story or just a", + " normal conversation is\nboring, then they close their ears. Of course, there’ s a remedy—take\na course in entertaining rhetoric; then you may be able to keep your\nYellow friend’ s, partner ’s, or coll", + "eague’ s attention. If you can present\nyour message in a more amusing way, he’ll at least remain seated a\nbit longer . Rhetoric isn’t the art of talking but rather the art of getting\nothers to listen.", + "\nIf you have a good friend whom at this stage you have identified\nas Yellow , you know exactly what I’m talking about. In mid-sentence,\nhe open s his mouth and starts talking about something completel", + "y\ndifferent. Bad memory? No, you were simply being tedious. But truly\n—add a bad memory into the equation and we really are in trouble.\nMany truly successful people in society are often better listen", + "ers\nthan the general average. They don’t willingly talk as much as they\nlisten. They already know what they know , and to learn more they\nsimply have to hush up and hear what others are saying. It’s a", + " way\nto absorb new knowledge. This is something Yellows need to\nunderstand better if they’re not to be perceived as completely\nhopeless—or just stagnant in their personal development. They\nmust, for e", + "xam ple, listen to the message I have presented in this last\nsection. If they refuse to take it in just because it is a difficult and\npossibly a boring message, they’ll never learn anything.\nHow Green", + " People Are Perceived\nSo what do others—other colors—think about Greens? The picture\nis ambi valent. Besides the fact that they are considered pleasant,\nfriendly , and caring, there are other opinions", + ". A person who, out of\nfear of conflict, says yes but means no—how do you handle him?\nHow do you know what he really thinks?\nReds and Yellows especially have problems with what I call the\nsilent resis", + "tance. Remaining silent rather than speaking out. Certain\nGreens, howev er, tend to tell the truth behind the back of the person\nconcerned. Therefore, others can perceive a Green as dishonest,\neven th", + "ough their intention is only to avoid conflict. In general,\nGreens always expect the worst and therefore tend to lie low .\nThen we have the Green’ s inability to change. When a Green\nunderstands the n", + "eed for change but still says no thanks, that leads\nthose closest to him to think that he is afraid of change, stubborn,\nunconcerned, and indifferent. As usual, we are talking about\nperceptions. If w", + "e ask Reds what they think about Greens, there will\nbe some heavy opinions.\nP i g h e a d e d n e s s W i l l N e v e r B e a V i r t u e\nWhat do you do with a person who never changes his views?", + "\nEver? Not even when the facts indicate that it’s time to take a\ndifferent path? How do you handle someone whose resolve to\ncontinue on the present course has completely taken over?\nThe difference be", + "tween Greens and Blues is that while a Blue\nholds out for more facts about an issue, Greens expect everything to\nsimply blow over, since they refuse to change their minds. They’ve\nmade a decision abou", + "t something and will not concede. Why?\nBecause they don’t usually do that.\nThink about it: It may have taken you your whole life to come to a\nparticular opinion about the dangerous cholesterol in food", + ", about\nspace travel, or about Britney Spears. Suddenly this guy comes\nalong and says that you should exchange your current opinion for\nhis.\nIt’s not going to happen. The Green is waiting for the righ", + "t feeling\nto come over him before he makes any changes. If it does n’t, well …\nthey’re often rather patient.\nLet me tell you about a young man, the son in a family I’ve known\nvery well for many years", + ". This guy is reasonably good in school; his\ngrades are okay . He has many pals.\nAt the outset, I would like to point out that when we spea k about\nyoung people, in this case a teenager , we must be c", + "arefu l. This isn’t\na fully developed behavior profile or character . Young people still\nhave things to learn about life in general. All impressions are not\ndefinitive.\nSo what’ s the problem?\nThis yo", + "ung man has his own ideas about what is true and false.\nAnd wild horses couldn’t get him to change his mind. It may be\nsomething he heard from a friend or something he saw on television\nor some thing ", + "he picked up in school. When this knowledge or idea,\nirrespective of its source, has been established in his consciousness,\nit can’t be dislodged. It makes no difference how often his parents\npoint ou", + "t the facts or how tough they are when they present the\nevidence—his point of view is clear . It doesn’t even matter if they\npoint out the danger in this or that way of thinking; he persists in his\nbe", + "lief.\nThink about it. Y ou supply all the available facts, and the guy says\nthat he understands. He agrees that it sounds logical. Other people\ncould feasibly do it that way, with good results. But st", + "ill, he’s not\nprepared to change his point of view. Some people would call this\npigheadedness.\nWhat’ s the reason for this? Excellent question. It may be a result\nof where he first got the information", + ". If a friend says that you can\nearn just as much money collecting trash as a newly qualified doctor\ncan earn, it doesn’t really matter if it’s true or not. If the same friend\nsuggests that you can’t ", + "be arrested for drunk driving if you drive your\ncar after drinking three beers, then this becomes the truth, even if\nwe, with all the facts at our disposal, know that this is simply not the\ncase.\nIf t", + "his guy is told that he’ll get a terrific job if he just works a little\nharder at mathematics, it becomes true. If he got this info from his\nbest mate, it simply has to be true. If a Green trusts in a", + " particular\nindividual, that individual’ s word becomes law. This makes it easy to\nexploit Greens, because they can be a little naïve and gullible. And\nunfortunately , certain people take advantage of", + " this fact.\nSometimes this obstinacy becomes a strength, no doubt about\nthat. But when those around them perceive it as pure\npigheadedness, it can create problems.\n“ W h y B o t h e r ? N o t h i n ", + "g I s W o r t h C a r i n g A b o u t . ”\nSince Greens rarely make the first move and almost alway s allow\nothers to step up first, you can easily get the impression that a Green\nis not especiall ", + "y interested or engaged. And often that’s the case. He\nis more passive than he is active, and this has an impact on his\nbehavior . Not much is going on there.\nAnd what does it really matter? If you s", + "tay at home—nothing can\nreally go wron g then, right? What Greens fail to see is that most\nother people want to do things. They assume that everyone thinks as\nthey do and stays on the sofa. They are s", + "atisfied with doing nothing.\nAnything that upsets this standpoint becomes a threat. The result?\nEven more passivity .\nOn one occasion, I heard a Red-Y ellow boss describe his\nemployees as uninspired a", + "nd uninterested in their work. It tormented\nhim because no matter how hard he tried to entice and insist, they\nnever left the starting block. He presented numerous ideas—some of\nwhich were very intere", + "sting— but nothing happened. It can be like\nthat with Green s. They recognize a good idea as quickly as anyone\nelse. But, for example, while their Red colleagues sprint off with the\nbaton, a Green ju", + "st sits and waits. Often they’re waiting for the right\nfeeling to convince them of an idea’ s merit and if that doesn’t\nhappen, well … they wouldn’t do anything anyway , so they get what\nthey want. Wh", + "y not just wait and see if the urge to act goes away?\nThis particular boss called in his employees and asked them how\nthey viewed the business. He was worried about the evident lack of\ndiscernible com", + "mitment. A couple of the men, who were lower\nmiddle age, said straight-out that they couldn’t think of anything that\nwas worth getting involved in. The boss became extremely\nfrustrated. He tried every", + "thing but got virtually no reaction.\nThis can also happen in a marriage. There are stereoty pes for\neverything. Like that some women might be drawn to the strong,\nsilent type, for example. Nothing wro", + "ng with that. But after they’re\nmarried and she realizes that this is all that he is—strong and silent\n—she may not be as happy . And when she makes plans and he\nsays he doesn’t care, she gets frustra", + "ted. And so she makes even\nbigger plans. And he clutches the armrests on his favorite recliner\neven harder .\nThis is the paradox. The bigger the plans, the less likely it is that\na Green will commit. ", + "All he wants is peace and quiet.\nHere’ s an example: I’ve been writing fiction for twenty years and\nreally hoped to become a published author one day. Everyone in the\nfamily knew this. Not that I made", + " a huge deal out of it, but I didn’t\nhide my ambitions, either . One Green close to me understood how\nimportant it was for me to succeed. I have repeatedly spoken about\nmy dream, explaining how it wou", + "ld make me feel if I succeeded as\nan author of fiction. Yet this Green never asked how my writing was\ngoing. Maybe a comment every five years that I shouldn’t take things\nso serio usly or I will only ", + "be disappointed. And when I said things\nlike: “This year it will happen. Now is the time, damn it. I’ve got to\nwork harder to succeed!” the response was: “Wow. That’ s a lot of\nwork.” Lots of work is ", + "a Green’ s greatest enemy , just because that’s\nexactly what it is—work. They live in a mind-set that everything\nshould be easy .\nThis form of indifference and lack of commitment can kill the\nenthusia", + "sm of even the most inspired person. I had to learn to rely\non others to find the energy to struggle on with my writing. But a\nGreen doesn’t understand this. He doesn’t want people to be too\ninvolve", + "d, because it’s just bothersome. Instead, let’s just sit here and\ndo … nothing.\nW h a t ’ s T h o u g h t i n S e c r e t I s S a i d i n S e c r e t\nGreens are reluctant to take a position on ", + "sensitive issues. They\nhave just as many views and opinions as anyone else, but they don’t\nlike shouting them from the rooftops. The reason is simple—it can\ncause a fuss.\nThe consequence of this tende", + "ncy is a rather abstruse manner of\nexpressing themselves. Instead of saying, “That’ s imposs ible,” they\nmay respond with something like, “It appears that there are a few\nchallenges in delivering tha", + "t.” Sure, both statements mean the same\nthing: “We won’t manage to do it in time.” But by using a less direct\nmeans of expression, you take fewer risks. If you take a clear stance\non something, then ", + "you have to stand up for it.\nFor a Green, it’s better to be safe than sorry . By expressing\nhimself ambiguously , he avoids taking responsibility for the matter in\nquestion. He doesn’t have to risk hi", + "s good name if he’s uncertain. If\nhe hasn’t taken a position in support of something, he also hasn’t\ntaken any position against something. You hear how illogical this\nsounds, right? But if you’re Gree", + "n, you know exactly what I mean. A\nwoman I met once said that she believed what everyone else\nbelieved.\nBut are Greens perceived as unclear just because they want to\nsave a relation ship? No, not at ", + "all. Greens just aren’t as precise as\nthe other colors. When a Red says that he absolutely hates listening\nto Eminem, a Green would say that he remembers better singers.\nWhen a Blue says that he has l", + "ost five pounds since last Tuesday\nmorning at 10:03, a Green says that he’ s lost a few pounds lately .\nThis is becaus e Greens are not as task oriented as Reds and\nBlues. Greens don’t speak about fac", + "ts in the same way. They would\nrather speak about relationships and feelings, which makes it more\ndifficult to be precise. How do you measure a feeling? Saying, “I love\nyou exactly twelve percent more", + " than last month,” is just not going to\nwork.\n“ I K n o w I S h o u l d C h a n g e T h i s I m m e d i a t e l y , b u t I ’ l l J u s t T h i n k A b o u t I t f o r a\nW h i l e . ”\nHe", + "re we have the most difficult stumbling block. If you want to\nmake changes in a group consisting of many Greens, good luck. If\nit’s a major change, you shou ld consider whether it’s really worth the\n", + "effort. If it’s urgent, you can forget the whole thing. This is what\nhappens in the mind of a Green:\n• I know what I have but not what I’ll get.\n• It was better before.\n• I’ve never done this befor", + "e.\n• The grass is not always greener on the other side.\nSound familiar ? Sure, not all changes are for the better , but let’s\nbe reasonable! I’m not saying that it’s always wrong to express these\nsen", + "timents, but when changes are really necessary it can be very\ndangerous.\nA classic cliché—a little worn now, I know—is to consider how\noften you change where you sit at the breakfast table. I used to ", + "ask\nthis question in the groups I met. Many smiled and said that they sat\nwhere they usually sit because it just happened. Sure, I do the same\nthing sometime s. But if someone were to point out that I", + " was stuck in\na rigid habit (or bad habit) I would do something about it. A Green,\nhowever , doesn’t correct himself.\nWhen you look at a Green ’s reaction to the question, you’ll\nunderstand that we’re", + " faced with a problem. I’ve seen adults become\nwhite in the face, wiping their foreheads at the mere thought of sitting\non the other side of the table. I’ve even worked with a man, Sune,\nwho had such ", + "a meticulous lunchtime routine that if he couldn’t\nfollow it precisely the rest of the day was shrouded in sheer\ndarkness. Sune had a favorite lunch spot beneath a painting. He sat\nthere every day a", + "t lunchtime, week in, week out, month out and year\nin. Always the same chair .\nIf he came into the dining room and saw that his spot was\noccupied, he would stop short. If he saw this quickly enough, h", + "e’d\nturn towards his backup location, not as good but still an acceptable\nspot, near a window . If he were forced to have his soup there, he\nwould glare throughout the meal at whoever had nicked “his”", + " spot.\nOf course, he never said anything. Instead, he just sulked the rest of\nthe day. This is another thing Greens often do—turn frustration\ninwards and feel awful so that everyone notices it. If Su", + "ne’s backup\nspot was also occupied, he would just go back into the kitchen, the\nrest of his day ruined.\nLet me give you another example. My mother—departed but\nnever forgotten; we’ll never stop loving", + " you, our darling mother—who\nwas nothing if not Green, was always willing to help and took care of\nher grandchildren whenever needed, especially when they were\nlittle. I remember one time when my wife", + " and I were invited to dinner\non a Friday night. I had aske d my mother to watch the kids weeks in\nadvance becau se I knew that she needed time to menta lly prepare\nherself for it.\nOn the day the dinn", + "er was to take place, the hostess called: Her\nhusband was sick, and the whole thing was postponed. When I\nphoned my mum, I explained to her what had happened. We would\nbe staying home that night. She", + " went completely silent. I said that I\nstill wanted her to come over because the children were excited to\nsee their grandma.\nMum was very hesitant. “What will happen now?” she asked.\nI said that it w", + "ould be just like we had planned originally . Because\nher bag was packed and the guest room was ready , it would be a\nperfect opportu nity to spend a little time together . She hesitated. “It\nwill be ", + "comple tely different now: You’re at home.” She was flustered\nby the change, and she needed time to think. She promised to\nphone back.\nWhat was really Mum’ s problem? Our change of plans\nnecessitated ", + "no change for her at all. She was still going to stay\novernight betw een Friday and Saturday . She could still see her\ngrandchildren. She would, however , avoid having any responsibility\nfor them. I t", + "ried to convince her that we could take care of her for\nonce, instead of her taking care of us.\nThis was a completely new situation for her. We were still there in\nthe house. And that was the problem.", + " My wife and I would be there.\nMaybe Mum had her heart set on a watching a particular show on\ntelevision. Maybe she had thought about preparing a special meal\nfor the children. Maybe, I don’t know . S", + "he never said anything about\nit, so we can’t know for sure. But the change was serious enough to\nwarrant extra thinking time for her .\n(She came in the end. A nice little side story , quite possibly", + "\nrelated to her generation: I fetched her at half past four. She asked\nwhy I came so late. I replied that I had promised to be there at five\no’clock and that I was actually half an hour early . Her r", + "esponse?\nShe’d been ready since four o’clock.)\n“ I ’ v e N e v e r B e e n S o U p s e t , b u t f o r G o d ’ s S a k e , D o n ’ t S a y A n y t h i n g t o\nA n y o n e . ”\nThis is the s", + "econd major dilemma with Green behavior . They\ndespise a squabble. This aversion to conflict also causes many other\nchallenges, such as stubbornness, ambiguity , and resistance to\nchange. Because Gree", + "ns are pronounced relational peop le, nothing\nis more important to them than keeping a relationship together . The\nproblem is that their method doesn’t work.\nYou can look at conflicts in two ways. The", + " first way is called the\nharmony outlook, or striving for harmony . Everything depends on\nbeing on good terms with others. Reaching an agreement is an end\nin itself. This means that those who cause co", + "nflict are problematic\ntroublemakers. Conflicts are indicative of poor leadership, poor\ncommunication, and discord. And so we smother conflict and\npretend that it doesn’t exist. Because who wants to b", + "e acquainted\nwith a troublemaker?\nI once met a coach who used an interesting metaphor for this\nkind of behavio r. She said it was like sitting at the dinner table with a\nrotting pile of trash in the m", + "iddle. You know , with mold and flies and\neverything. Everyone sees that the trash is there, but no one says\nanything. You brush away the flies and pass the food across the\nliquefying bana na peels wi", + "thout thinking anything about it. Maybe by\nthe end someone wonders if there even really is a pile of trash on\nthe table at all. Finally , one of the dinner table guests says, “We have\nto do something ", + "about this!” That person becomes an agitator ,\nbecause we now have to deal with this nasty mess of garbage.\nCouldn’t she have just kept quiet?\nNowadays we know better . The aspiration of having everyo", + "ne in\nagreement about everything all the time is an impossible utopia, not\neven worth trying to achiev e. Someone will lift the lid off all that\ndiscord that was so effective ly and hermetically seale", + "d for such a\nlong period of time—and what happens then? It stinks from a long\nway of f. In the end the harmony outlook inevitably leads to conflict.\nThe second way, and the opposite to the first, is c", + "alled the conflict\noutlook. It basically means that we accept that conflicts exist—that\nit’s natural. No group exists where everyone is always in agreement\nabout everything.\nThe whole point of the con", + "fli ct outlook is to deal with every little\ndissentient issue as soon as it shows its head. Reds, and also some\nYellows, do this naturally . When they see something that doesn’t\nwork, they say that it", + " doesn’t work. This means that problems can be\nresolved at an early stage. But you have to deal with the issue\nbefore it begins to stink.\nThe conflict approach usually creates harmony .\nBut a Green wi", + "ll just turn a deaf ear. He’ll do everythin g in his\npower to maintain that magical feeling that everyone is in agreement.\nIt’s nicer when everyone agrees, isn’t it? Wouldn’t the world be so\nmuch bett", + "er if there were no conflicts?\nConsider a situation all of us have experienced at some point.\nWe’re in a meeting at work. There are maybe ten people present in\nthe room. Add or subtract from this so t", + "hat you recognize the\nsituation. Someone—the boss or anyone at all—has just completed\nhis presentation and now asks what everyone is thinking. Full of\nexpectation, he looks around, waiting for feedbac", + "k.\nIf there are any Reds or Yellows in the room, they will speak\nabout their views on the proposal they’ve just seen. The Reds will\nlove it or loathe it. The Yellow s will speak about their own reflec", + "tions\non the proposal. One or two Blues might have a few questions.\nWhat do the Greens do? Absolutely nothing. They just lean back\nin their chairs and let them selves absorb the proposal. They say\nno", + "thing at all unless asked a direct question. They look anxiously\naround, hoping that someone will say that this proposal is, in fact, an\nincomprehensible mess. The group is too large for them to tro", + "t out\nany dissenting opinions. To say something truly dramatic or negative\nwould mean that everyone’ s eyes will be on you, and that’s not going\nto happen. If they say what they are really thinking, a", + " heated debate\nwill erupt, and since a Green doesn’t want to take part in heated\ndebates—he doesn’t even want to be in the same room as one—he\nsimply keeps silent.\nHow will the speaker respond? He’ll ", + "assume that everyone is in\nagreement, right? What he doesn’t know is that half the people in the\nroom think it was the stupidest thing they have ever heard. When the\ntruth creeps out—it has to, sooner", + " or later—guess what happens\nthen? Exactly—conflict.\nYou can be certain that while you are standing at the coffee\nmachine and maybe even while visiting the restroom the truth will\ncome out. When Green", + "s need to relieve the pressure of not\nspeaking out, they talk behind your back. In small groups of two or\nthree people, they will gladly vent their displeasure. And they’re good\nat it. As long as they", + " think they can escape your gaze, they’ll\nbackbite you in ways you would never expect from a Green.\nHow Blue People Are Perceived\nEven perfectionist Blue individuals receive criticism. It can be about", + "\nhow they are perceived as evasive, defensive, perfectionist,\nreserved, fastidious, meticulous, hesitant, conservative, lacking\nindependence, questioning, suspicious, tedious, aloof, and\ncoldhearted. ", + "Ooph! The list of shortcomings found in these bastions\nof bureaucracy often tends to be quite long.\nBut mainly, Blues find it difficult to begin anything new because\nthey want to prepare very thorough", + "ly . Everything involves risks, and\nBlues can be almost obsess ed with details. Never place too many\nBlues in the same group. They’ll plan into the next centu ry without\never putting a shovel to the ", + "ground.\nFurthermore, many Blues are perceived as highly critical and\nalmost suspicious. They miss nothing, and they have a tendency to\ndeliver their observations in an insensitive fashion. They create", + "\nquality work, but their hairsplitting, critical approach to almost\neverything lowers the morale of those around them to dangerously\nlow levels. These are people who consider themselves to be realist", + "s.\nWhen they—in everyone else’ s eyes—are, in fact, pessimists.\n“ N i n e t y - f i v e P e r c e n t R i g h t I s A c t u a l l y 1 0 0 P e r c e n t W r o n g . ”\nLet’s be hones t from the s", + "tart. All this keeping track of facts and\nfocusing on details can go too far. There are limits to when it’s\nreasonable to keep research ing. Do you remember the CEO who\nwanted to buy leadership traini", + "ng? He never left the starting block.\nBlues want to have all the information on everything, and this can\nlead to problems with those around them. People who would be\nsatisfied with good enough simply ", + "can’t cope with hearing all those\nquestions and all this relentless poking into details. A Blue believes\nthat good enough is never really good enough.\nI enjoy working around the house—changing the dec", + "or , hanging\nwallpaper every now and then. A few years ago, we remodeled our\nkitchen, and even though I got tremendous help from my family , I did\nquite a lot myself. I worked and toiled and was quite", + " happy when it\nwas finished. For a DIY er, I thought I managed it quite well.\nHans, a good friend of mine, came by. We’ve known each other\nfor many years, and he’s very much on the ball. He knew that ", + "I’d\nworked very hard and that I felt quite pleased with myself. When he\ncame into my kitchen, he looked around and said quietly , “New\nkitchen? Looks good. That cupboard door is crooked.”\nOkay , so ma", + "ybe it wasn’t nice to hear that. But for Hans, it was\nthe highest form of logic. He observed a mistake and his sense of\nperfection meant that he couldn’t ignore it. Besides, he is not a\ntypical relati", + "onal person, so he couldn’t help saying things as they\nwere. He wasn’t directly criticizing me, only something I had done.\nNamely , not fitting the cupboard door straight.\nFastidiousness can be expres", + "sed in various ways: It can be a\nperson who can’t cope with papers that aren’t perfectly aligned on a\ndesk, who rewrites an email about fifteen times to get it truly perfect,\nor who works for hours on", + " a simple Excel spreadsheet or\nPowerPoint presentation, just giving it the finishing touches.\nT h e y N e v e r F i n i s h A n y t h i n g . T h e r e ’ s A l w a y s M o r e t o D o .\nOnce, ", + "I was holding a communication training program for a\ngroup of peop le, all of who were working in the same room. The\ngroup consisted of about twenty people. The first afternoon, I handed\nout the resu", + "lts of the behavior analysis that each of them had taken\nearlier . Everyo ne read about themselves with increasing fascination,\nand most of them seemed very satisfied.\nExcept for one lady. She was ext", + "remely upset by her analysis. It\nwas, in fact, completely incorrect. After confirming with her that it\nwas okay to discuss it in front of the whole group, I asked what it was\nshe was displeased with.\n", + "“There’ s so much that’s incorrect,” she told us. For example, the\nanalysis revealed that she could be a perfectionist. She wasn’t like\nthat at all. I noticed the tiny smiles appearing on peop le’s fa", + "ces.\nApparently , her colleagues knew something she didn’t.\nI asked her why she thought that the analysis maintained she was\na perfe ctionist. She had no idea. The whole thing was a complete\nmystery .", + " It was a totally useless tool.\nRealizing that the woman was Blue, I was careful not to argue too\nmuch. She wouldn’t take me at my word. I was just some random\nconsultant who had been working with thi", + "s tool for a measly twenty\nyears. What did I know?\nInstead, I asked her to give an example showing that she was not\na perfe ctionist. No problem, she had plenty . For example, she had\nthree children, ", + "each of who had three best pals. When she came\nhome in the evenings, there were so many shoes piled up inside the\nfront door that she had to do the high jump to get in. She began by\nshaking the dirt o", + "ff the doormat and putting the shoes in order . She\nconfided in me that she used to put size 10 at the back, as those\nguys went home last, so it seemed most logical. She placed the\nsmaller sizes close", + "st to the door in neat rows.\nThen she went into the kitche n. What did she see there? Crumbs\neverywhere. All of these youngsters had been eating sandwiches,\nand the kitchen looked like a war zone. I", + "t took her twenty minutes to\nsanitize everything, put everything back in place, sweep, wipe the\ntables and worktops. Only then could she take off her coat and relax\na little.\nHer colleagues were in st", + "itches. The woman looked around, not\nunderstanding what the excitement was all about. That any of this\ncould even be remotely obsessive was beyond her. Her house was\nso untidy , that was her point.\nTh", + "e funny thing about this story is that a few years later I met the\nsame woman but in a totally different context. She gave me a big\nhug and said that the analysis of her behavior was 100 percent\ncorr", + "ect. Stunned, I wondered how she arrived at that conclusion.\nIt turned out that she had kept the behavior profile in her purse for\na while; the analysis had a list of behaviors and qualities, and eve", + "ry\ntime she found herself doing one she ticked it off on the sheet. In the\nend, she had ticked all of them off. She liked the profile. An amazing\ntool, on the whole.\n“ I D o n ’ t R e a l l y K n ", + "o w Y o u , S o K e e p Y o u r D i s t a n c e . ”\nYou’ve done it. I’ve done it. We’ve all done it. Gone up to a\nperson who seems to be a decent fellow and started talking about\nthis and that th", + "inking you’re going to have a nice chat. After a while,\nyou realize that you’re the one doing all the talking. If you have\nYellow traits in your behavior , you may notice that there are strange\npauses", + " in the dialogue. If there really is a dialogue. You may notice\nthat the other person fidgets a bit, signaling that he doesn’t want to\nbe part of this conversation.\n“What’ s going on? W e’re just talk", + "ing about the game yesterday , or\nabout what the family did last summer , or where you inten d to go on\nvacation. Do we have a problem, or what?”\nYes, in fact we do, because this person doesn’t willin", + "gly speak\nwith strangers. “Wait a minute,” you may say. “We’ve been working\ntogether for three months, and by now it should be perfectly okay to\nask what his dog’s name is.” But this guy requires a lo", + "t of personal\nspace, both physically and psychologically . He needs to know a\nperson extremely well before opening up. Not like a Red, who lets\nout with whatever he feels; not like a Yellow , who rev", + "eals his darkest\nsecrets because he assumes that everyone is interested; or like a\nGreen, who can be personal, but only in small groups and in a\ncontrolled environment.\nA Blue doesn’t need small talk.", + " He can easily give the impression\nthat he doesn ’t care about other people, because he doesn’t\ncultivate any relationships. Sure, he cares, but his needs are on a\ndifferent level than everyon e else’", + "s. He likes being in his own\ncompany and with immediate family .\nThe conseque nce is clear for those around him: They find him\ncoldhearted and distant. That personal bubble is obvious, and it can\nbe ", + "very chilly , particularly for Yellows and Greens. And so they call\ntheir Blue friend a bore. Blues can easily make us feel ill at ease.\n“Why is he so cold and dismissive? Doesn’t he care about me at\n", + "all?”\n“ B e t t e r S a f e T h a n S o r r y . T h i n k A b o u t i t — P r e f e r a b l y T h r e e T i m e s . ”\nA good family friend couldn’t leave her house without first\nchecking to se", + "e if her keys were really in her handbag, even though\nplacing them there was the last thing she had done before going to\nthe front door .\nBack in the 1980s, when I worked as a teller in the bank, I se", + "rved\npeople who had waited thirty minutes in line for just one single\nreason: to check that the balance printed on the ATM receipt really\nwas correct. Much anticipation. The same computer . The same\nb", + "alance. But you never know . Best to check. And double-check. If a\ntriple check had been possible, they would have done it.\nWhere does this need for control come from? Why can’t Blues\ntrust what other", + " people say or just accept the information they hear?\nAnswer: They can, of course. But if they also check themselves, then\nall the risks will be eliminated, right? But the fact remains that they\ndon’t", + " trust others. Everythin g has to be confirmed. And recorded,\nand documented properly .\nRemember , we’re talking here about behavior as perceived by\nothers. A Blue checks everything one extra time bec", + "ause it’s\npossible to check everything one extra time. When everything has\nbeen confirmed, then you just have to make a decision.\nI have a good friend who uses Excel diligently . But not like the\nrest", + " of us. This guy has a special method. He writes a formula and\ninserts all the data. Before he sends any important files to his senior\nmanagers, he does a control check of everything using a calculato", + "r .\nWhy does he do that?! If you were to explain this to a Red, he\nwould declare that guy an absolute idiot. Explain it to a Yellow and\nhe would laugh himself to death. Any Blue will understand the w", + "hole\nthing immediately . There is a theoretical possibility that there could\nbe errors in Excel. Even though he has typed the formu la himself,\nsomething may still go wrong. Better to be on the safe s", + "ide.\nHow do others perceive this? Read on!\n“ T h e O n l y T h i n g I C a n T r u s t I s M y s e l f a n d M y O w n E y e s . ”\nThe guy who questions Excel has, of course, a problem\nexpl", + "aining himself. Many people around him have their views about\nhis method of always having to double-check and triple-check\neverything he does himself and everything everyone else does. They\nget furiou", + "s when he, throug h his actions, clearly shows that he\ndoesn’t trust them.\nThe other tiny little problem is that everything takes a terribly long\ntime. This can be managed by working more hours. What’", + " s more\nproblematic is the way relationships can suffer because of this habit.\nHow demoralizing is it when you go up to someone to tell him about\na possible breakthrough and the first thing the person", + " does is isolate\nall the different components and call into question every single\npoint?\nOf course, if everyone looks long enough they will find mistakes.\nNor is it even sufficient to be right. You h", + "ave to prove yourself to a\nBlue. If he considers you an authority in a particular field, he’ll be\nbetter at listening to you. The road, however , can be tricky .\nI’ve held many training cours es and l", + "ectures on this subje ct, and\nif there are people who ask complicated questions they’re usually\nengineers, technical sales staff, or financial controllers. Maybe a\nhandful of tax lawyers. Often times ", + "their color is Blue, and they’re not\nimpressed with me. Just because I have made my living doing this\nfor twenty years doesn’t mean I know what I’m talking about.\n(Remember the woman who was accused o", + "f being a perfectionist.)\nThe only thing you can do is accept that among these people, the\nstandard of proof will be much higher . Facts always remain, as we\nknow: If I have prepared well enough I can", + " prove that what I am\nsaying is true. In time, they will trust me.\n9\nLearning New Things\nHow to Use What Y ou’ve Learned\nLearning something new isn’t always the easiest of tasks. It may\nseem simple, b", + "ut it’s not easy. There’ s always so much to do, so\nmuch to read, and so much to learn. Where do you start? This is\nalmost always determined by your personal interests. Naturally , it’s\neasier to devo", + "te more time to what you’re curious abou t and what\nyou’re interested in. Nothing strange there.\nFor me, it was hearing Sture ’s assessment of people—his thesis\non all the idiots at the start of this", + " book—that became the impetus for\nme to learn about people and how we relate to one another . But it’s\ntaken me many years to acquire this knowledge. I’ve read books,\nattended training, and been certi", + "fied many times in dif ferent subjects.\nFurthermore, I’ve led thousan ds of courses on the subject. So now,\nas a middle-aged man, I believe I have a decent grasp on how\npeople function. But, in all pr", + "obability , I’ve only scratched the\nsurface.\nIf We Had Endless Time, There’d Be No Problem\nAll of this learning has taken time. Maybe I don’t have the natural\ninstinct that many others have. I don’t r", + "eally know . But I do know a\nbit about teaching methods and how we learn new thing s. And for\nme, it’s difficult to think of any subject more important than people.\nNo matter what job you have, where ", + "life may take you—you are\ngoing to meet other people.\nFor example, you can be:\n• an employee with work colleagues\n• a seller with customers\n• a project manager who leads people with different expe ", + "rtise\nthan your own\n• a managing director with employees\n• a middle manager with people both above and below you in\nthe organization\n• a self-emplo yed entrepren eur finding your own sales and\norde", + "rs\n• a parent with teenagers in the household\n• a spouse\n• a coach for the football team\n• a chairperson of the local home and school associations\nThere’ s no limitation to how this knowledge can ", + "be applied.\nUnderstanding people will always remain a crucial factor in achieving\nyour goals in life as smooth ly as possible, no matter what these\ngoals are.\nTake a look at the diagram on the next pa", + "ge. This isn’t a new\nmodel, but it says a lot about how theoretical knowledge is\ntransformed into real competence. Reading a book is one thing—I’m\nglad that you are reading this one. It’s a great way ", + "to kick off your\nown learning, but it’ s only the first step in learning something.\nA New Approach\nMy mission is clear—I want more people to understand this method\nof classifying behavior . So much co", + "nflict could be avoided if we just\nunderstood why the people around us behave the way they do. I\nhave nothing against conflict; it usually doesn’t bother me, because I\nknow how to handle it. But when ", + "people tear down and destroy more\nthan they build up, I believe that we should be able to find other\nways forward. Life consists of so much more than learning from your\nmistakes. Some mistakes you ca", + "n avoid altogether .\nA Language like Any Other Language\nThe “language” this book discusses—DISA-language IPD (the\nInstitute for Personal Development) which is the official name—\nworks like any other l", + "anguage when it comes to learning . If you’ve\never studied Spanish or German in schoo l, then you know what I’m\ntalking about. To study for your exams is one thing. To be able to\nreally speak fluently", + " is a different matter . It’s not enough to refresh\nyour knowledg e once a year just before a trip to Spain. If you really\nwant to be able to speak Spanish (more than just orderin g food at a\nrestaura", + "nt) whenever you run into a Spanish speaker , you need to\npractice. It’ s a perishable commodity . There are no shortcuts.\nOf course, after reading this book you can go out into the world\nand happily ", + "experiment with the people you meet. I advise you to do\nso. In the beginning, the challenge will be that you’re going to guess\nincorrectly about people’ s personalities and that may result in a\ncerta", + "in degree of embarrassm ent. But as you become more “fluent”\nin the language of behavior , it will transform how you interact with the\npeople around you.\n1 0\nBody Language: Why How You Move\nMatters\nHo", + "w Do Y ou Really Look?\nIntroduction\nDifferent colors exhibit different types of body language. In\naddition to all things you say and do, you project a certain type of\nbody language to the people aroun", + "d you. People pick up on this\nbody language and use it to interpret your mood. So let’s take a\ncloser look at how we move.\n“Body language” refers to all forms of nonverbal communication,\nconscious as", + " well as unconscious. Differences in body language\nvary both between individuals and between different groups of\npeople. Our body language also functions as a social and cultural\nmarker , even if ther", + "e are common biological foundations.\nThe modern English language contains about one hundred and\nseventy thousa nd words, of which five thousand are used regularly .\nIn comparison, according to certain", + " scholars, body language\ncontains almost seven hundred thousand signals. Yes, we can\ndebate the exact numbers, but that’s not the point. Just understand\nthat there are an immense number of signals, mo", + "re than we may be\naware of.\nI’m not going to examine all these signals, but it’s still interesting\nto see what the differences are between different behavior profiles.\nJust remember , our state of min", + "d, situation, and whether we feel\nsafe or unsafe can have a crucial influence on our body language.\nPosture\nIf on the one hand, you have a relaxed, natural but not slack posture,\nother people often ge", + "t the impression that you are self-confidence. If\non the other hand, you have a shrunken posture, it can be\ninterpreted as resignation and disappointment. If you have an erect,\nsomewhat wooden posture", + ", people can believe that this is a signal of\ndominance; in other words, you demand respect from those around\nyou. However , it could also be an indication that you were trained at\na military academy ", + ".\nGaze\nWe use our eyes for many different things. Shifty eyes generally\nsuggest that the person in question would rather be somewhere\nelse. Other people meet your gaze steadily , without even blinking", + ".\nThis creates a totally different impression. It’s said that liars can’t\nlook you in the eye and they often shift their gaze to the side. But\nsince this is commonly known even among liars, the worst ", + "of them\nhave learned to stare you straight in the eyes when they are lying.\nSo nothing is that obvious. (Someone who is repeatedly touching his\nneck is more often an indicat or of a liar.) When someth", + "ing is awful or\nunpleasant, many lift their hands up to their faces. And when you\nneed to think, you often close your eyes for a while.\nHead and Face\nWhen speaking, we usually either nod or shake our ", + "heads,\ndepending on whether we agree or not. When we listen extra\ncarefully to a discussion, we can lean our heads to one side.\nHanging your head or wrinkling your forehead can signal sadness or\ndepre", + "ssion. When we’re amazed at something, we often raise our\neyebrows, while we turn up our noses at things we aren’t fond of. In\nyour face alone forty-three different muscles are concealed, and\nthese ca", + "n be combined in countless ways.\nHands\nYes, this is a true classic. When greeting a person, how hard do you\nreally have to shake his hand? A simple handshake can reveal a lot\nabout a person. Limp and ", + "feeble handshakes often indicate a\nsubmissive behavior , so if you have such a handshake it might be a\ngood idea to press a little harder . If a handshake is firm it probably\nsuggests that a person is", + " determined. Anyone who squeezes way\ntoo hard belongs more than likely to the former category but would\nprefer to belong to the latter . Clenched fists rarely mean good news,\nusually indicating aggre", + "ssiveness. Certain nervous people pick at\ntheir clothes, removing hairs or threads. This often indicates they\nwould rather focus their attention on other things. Holding your\nhands clasped behind you", + "r back often expresses power and\nsecurity .\nRemember what I just said about lies? A more effective way to\nspot a liar is to notice if he puts the palm of his hand on his chest—\npreferably his right h", + "and over his heart—and sighs indignantly when\nhe’s been accused of lying. “Would I lie? How can you say that about\nme?” This gesture is intended to strengthen his honest intentions,\nbut it immediately", + " puts those around on their guard, because it is so\nunnecessary and excessive. There’ s definitely something fishy going\non there.\nTerritory\nIt’s very important that all people have their own persona ", + "l space, as\neveryone need s an area that is his own. Among other things, this\nterritory can be the distance you maintain from people when you’re\nspeaking to them. The perso nal zone is generally a few", + " feet and the\nsocial zone is three to ten feet. When we speak about the personal\nzone we mean the space when two people who know each other are\ncommunicating. “The social zone” refers to the space bet", + "ween\nstrangers who are communic ating. But this is very much dependent\non the culture of the speake rs. In the Nordic European region, for\nexample, the personal zone is definitely larger than what som", + "eone\nfrom the Mediterranean would have.\nSo What Do We Do About All This?\nHow do the various forms of behavior differ from one another? It’s\nobvious that some “well-known” facts about body language don", + "’t\napply to every single person. Someone who is busily picking lint off\nhis sleeve might be bored or he might just be nervous. Another\nexample is how people deal with uncertainty . A Green who is uns", + "ure\nleans backwards. A Red who is unsure leans forward, as his way of\ndealing with this uncertainty is to try to dominate the conversation.\nOn the following pages, I’ve listed further example s of the", + "\ndifferences. Try observing people in real life to see if you can find\nany of the following forms of behavior . But remember , body language\nis very individual. Sure, there are the general expression", + "s that apply\nthroughout the entire world and among all people—a contemptuous\nstare, for example, looks similar in every country—but there are so\nmany differenc es that you’ll have to study your fellow", + " mortals to\nsharpen your ability . The following short sections are intended to\nserve as a simple guide.\nR e d B o d y L a n g u a g e\nSome basics to keep in mind about Reds. They:\n• keep their dis", + "tance from others\n• have powerful handshakes\n• lean forward aggressively\n• use direct eye contact\n• use controlling gestures.\nAs I mentioned previously , Reds often have a clear and distinctive\nbo", + "dy language. Y ou can usually recognize a Red from a distance.\nWhen you walk through large crowds, you’ll see people swarming\naround, standing still, conver sing with others, or just checking to see\nw", + "hat all the fuss is about. Let’s say that you’re looking at a town\nsquare teeming with people. If you look really closely , you will see a\nperson who is crossing the square at a brisk pace completely", + "\ndisregarding the people standing in his way. With his gaze fixed on a\npoint a bit in front of him, the Red speeds up and crosses the square\nwithout any problem. He does not give way but makes others ", + "move\naside. His steps are decisive and powerful. He expects the rest of us\nto get out of his way .\nThe first time you meet a Red, he usually maintains a certain\ndistance. His handshake won’t be hearty", + " , but it will be powerful.\nExpect that the Red—man or woman—will grip a little bit harder to\nshow who is in charge. (Some people consider this alpha male\nbehavior , but it also occur s in women. A Re", + "d has a need to\ndemonstrate that he is someone to be reckoned with.)\nForget overexuberant smiles. His face can be downright grim,\nespecially if you’re attending a business meeting. But even in social\n", + "settings, Reds maintain some reserve. A Red won’t give you a big\nbear hug (as long as he is sober; under the influence of alcohol,\nanything can happen).\nWhen things start getting tense—which usually h", + "appens rather\nquickly when Reds are involved—this guy will lean across the table\nand argue his case quite forcefully . Eye contact will be very direct,\nhis gaze fixed on you. When it comes to the lang", + "uage of power ,\nReds have their finger on the trigger right from the start. Be prepared\nfor that.\nAlso, be prepared for a relatively limited use of gestures, but\nthose gestures that do surface can be ", + "controlling and aggressive.\nReds point at people very readily. The notion that it is rude to point at\npeople isn’t something that particularly worries him. It’s also common\nthat Reds point at you by s", + "tretching out their hand toward s you with\nthe palm facing down. If you want to give this a try, ask someone to\npoint at you that way , and then think about how it feels.\nYou can also clearly see that", + " Reds—of course they are not alone\nin this—are more than willing to interrupt you. They draw their breath\ncontinuously , hoping to find gaps in the conversation. If they have to\nwait too long to spea", + "k, they’ll throw themselves into the conversation\nwith a loud voice and simply take over .\nV O I C E\nWhat about a Red’s tone of voice? It’s often strong. We hear\nthese people clearly becau se they th", + "ink nothing of raising their\nvoices to make themselves heard—as much as it takes. Of course,\neven Reds can be nervous and worried about things, but usually you\nwon’t hear this. Their voices won’t trem", + "ble that much.\nThis is one of the secret s Reds have. No matter what’ s\nhappening behind the façade, Reds will sound convincing. No\nstammer , no hesitation. Finger on the trigger . If we don’t listen,", + " they\nwill repeat it one more time, but louder . In the end, they always get\nthrough.\nS P E E D I N S P E E C H A N D D E E D\nAs I mentioned earlier , Reds are always in a hurry . Quick equals\ngoo", + "d. Normally , this even applies to speech and actions. Everything\nhappens at a furious pace. Because speed is the factor many Reds\nmeasure succe ss by, it will be all go. And a couple of sharp changes", + "\nwhen the course needs adjusting.\nY e l l o w B o d y L a n g u a g e\nSome simple basics to keep in mind about Y ellows. They:\n• are tactile\n• are relaxed and jocular\n• show friendly eye contact\n", + "• use expressive gestures\n• often come close.\nA Yellow’s body language is often very open and inviting. Smiles\nappear constantly , even when there’ s not much to smile about. They\njoke around a lot", + " and can be very relaxed. When visiting a neighbor\nhe doesn’t know that well, a Yellow may just stretch out on the sofa.\nBut this is typical for Yellows. When a Yellow feels secure in any\ngiven situat", + "ion, you can see it. He’ s like an open book.\nThe similarity with Red behavior lies primarily in the tempo.\nYellows move quickly and quite distinctively . They often radiate a\nstrong self-confidence.", + "\nPersonal space is a relative thing for Yellows. While some colors\ndon’t like having people sit too close to them, Yellows will willingly\nmove up very close. Yellows can spontaneously start hugging\nev", + "ery one around them. Man or woman, it doesn’t really matter . It\ndepends on what the feeling and the mood are that day .\nIt’s not uncommon for others to recoil when this happens , which\nYellows find ", + "very trying. But it’s not just that Yellows like hugging. It\ncan also be a simple form of physical contact. A hand placed on an\narm, a pat on the leg—with no ulterior motive. The Yellow just wants\nto ", + "reinforce what he’s said. What a Yellow perceives as something\nnatural and spontaneous others can perceive as an invitation. And of\ncourse, it can end badly .\nIn general, with Yellows there will be jo", + "kes all round and\ncountless smiles. Eye contact is no problem; it’s intense, cheerful,\nand friendly .\nV O I C E\nA Yellow’s tone of voice deno tes a strong commitment from start\nto finish . You hear it", + " from afar: Laughter , fun, intensity . Enthusiasm.\nJoy. Energy .\nGenerally spea king, Yellows show empathy very clearly . They’re\nwith you either 100 percent or not at all. And this can be heard in\nt", + "heir voice. It goes up and down; it changes tempo, vigor , and\nintensity . Yellows often have a powerful melody in their way of\nspeaking.\nNo matter what emotion has seized the Yellow at the moment, it", + "\nwill be noticeable in his voice.\nS P E E D I N S P E E C H A N D D E E D\nTempo. Not quite the same rate of action as Reds, but a\ndecidedly fast pace. Have you met anyone who, when in a hurry to\n", + "say something, kind of stumbles over his words? Only half of them\nreally come out as they should. You can surmise what is being said,\nbut sometimes it’s incomprehensible. These are Yellows whose\nmout", + "hs simply can’t keep up with everything they have to say .\nG r e e n B o d y L a n g u a g e\nSome simple basics to keep in mind about Greens. They:\n• are relaxed and come close\n• act methodically\n", + "• tend to lean backwards\n• use very friendly eye contact\n• prefer small-scale gestures.\nGreens are often—but not always—sluggish in body movement.\nWhen they’re completely harmonious, they have a re", + "laxed body\nlanguage that exudes calm and confidence. No impetuous\nmovements, no sudden tossing of their heads or hands. Nice and\neasy.\nTheir gestures are often less flamboyant and well suited for\nsmal", + "ler groups . Greens don’t feel at ease in larger groups, so they\nbecome more closed and will appear reserved. Greens often have\nbody language that gives them away . They try to hide their true\nfeeling", + "s but don’t always succeed. If they’re out of balan ce or feel\nuncomfortable, it will be visible.\nWhen sitting around a table, you can expect that Greens will tend\nto lean backwards. This is something", + " of a paradox, as they don’t\nreally have a problem getting close to people. Just like Yellows, they\nlike to touch others. It’s fine as long as they know the person they\nare touching. Beware, however ", + ", of touching a Green who hasn’t\ngiven a clear sign that he knows you well enough. It’s easy to cross\nthe line. They can be protective of their personal space.\nYou often notic e when a Red walks acros", + "s a room. Since Greens\nare the compl ete opposite of Reds in many things, I can say that\nGreens make discretion a point of honor . It’s not uncommon that\nthey try to make themselves invisible.\nThe rea", + "son? They don’t want to be the center of attention.\nGreens almos t always have friendly faces. If not, then they’re\nquite neutral. Don’t expect any exaggerated smiles or overexuberant\ngreetings. A lit", + "tle expectant, that’s it. But the difference will be huge if\na Green knows you. If he thinks that you are good friends, he can be\nvery intimate and friendly . If he feels that you have just met each\no", + "ther , well then, you just have to wait.\nLet Greens come to you. Do not force yourself on them. In time,\nwhen they trust you, they’ll relax and become more natural.\nV O I C E\nA Green’ s voice will nev", + "er be strong; it’s not likely that he will\ndrown out the group. You’ll have to make a little bit more effort. Even\nwhen Greens speak in front of a larger group (they may do this, if\nthey don’t have a", + "ny choice), they’ll speak as if there were only three\nof you sitting around the table. Sometimes it may appear that Greens\ndon’t see the other hundred people in the room. The volume is\ngenerally low ,", + " and it can be dif ficult to hear what they say .\nBut their voice will always be soft and radiate warmth. The pace\nwill be slower and the variation not at all like when a Y ellow speaks.\nS P E E D I ", + "N S P E E C H A N D D E E D\nGenerally , Greens have a slower pace than Reds and Yellows but\nnot quite as slow as Blues. Speed has no value in itself. If a\nheightened tempo risks destroying the coop", + "eration in the group,\nGreens will reduce the speed . It doesn’t matter what the deadline is.\nThe most important thing is always going to be how people feel.\nB l u e B o d y L a n g u a g e\nSome simp", + "le basics to keep in mind about Blues. They:\n• prefer to keep others at a distance\n• either stand or sit\n• often have closed body language\n• use direct eye contact\n• speak without gestures.\nThe ea", + "siest way to describe a Blue’ s body language is to say that\nhe has none. Okay , maybe that is a bit simplistic. What I mean is that\nthere’ s not that much to interpret in a Blue. Neither his face nor", + " his\nbody gives much away . When I speak about body language to\nsalespeople, they usually remark that some people are impossible to\ninterpret. When I ask if these are people who sit almost perfectly ", + "still\nwithout moving even a muscle in their faces, they usually nod and\nthink this is remarkable.\nThey’re probably talking about Blues. A person who doesn’t\nexhibit much movement or even temperament r", + "eveals nothing. In\nthis case, it’s the lack of distinctive body language that tells us what\nwe need to know .\nMany Blues can make very dramatic statements with an\nexpressionless face. I once heard a b", + "lue manager say that the\ndepartment was to close and that we had to agree on a\ndecommissioning plan for three hundred employees. Not a muscle in\nhis face moved unnecessarily .\nThis is what gives peopl", + "e the idea that Blues lack feelings, but\nthis is, naturally , not true. Let me remind you again that a Blue is an\nintrovert, which is to say, most of his emotions simply operate\nbeneath the surface.\nI", + "t also works the other way. Once, many years ago, I saw a lady\nwin a half a million dollars on television. Behind the camera her\nhusband was heard screamin g for joy, while the lady herself sat very\ns", + "till with a cool smile. The host smiled and waved his arms around,\nand for a while you had to wonder who had actually won. But the\nlady herself said nothing more than “Thank you, this was nice.” She\nh", + "ardly moved at all. I don’t think it was because she was already a\nmillion aire; it was because she was Blue. This is simply the way it\nworks. Beneath the surface, I assume that she was delighted with", + "\nher winnings, but she didn’t show it outwardly . One day I will call the\nchannel and ask if they still have the recording, because it’s such a\nvivid illustration.\nWhen you see Blues speak ing in fron", + "t of larger groups, this\ntendency becomes very evident. Just like Greens, they have no\nneed to be the center of attention. The difference, however , is that\nwhile a Green would like to sink through th", + "e floor, a Blue will remain\nstanding. He’ll try to whip up the masses while standing completely\nmotionless with a fixed face.\nAnother clue is that Blues require a relatively large amount of\npersonal s", + "pace around them. They often feel more comfortable by\nkeeping others at a distance. Naturally , it depends on how well they\nknow each other , but this zone is significantly larger than it is for\nYe", + "llows, for instance.\nIf others come too close, Blues’ body language becomes closed.\nBoth arms and legs will be crossed, indicating that they’re keeping\ntheir distance.\nAs I mentioned earlier , Blues m", + "ove less than others. When they\nstand, they stand still. There’ s not that much swaying and walking.\nThey can very easily stand in the same spot for a whole hour while\ngiving a lecture. When they sit ", + "down, they remain seate d more or\nless in the same position all the time.\nConsequently , they won’t use too many gestures. Imagine a\nYellow: a really outgoing and dynamic figure—and now think the\noppo", + "site. Take away all movements that aren’t needed (most of\nthem, according to Blues) and you begin to get the picture. Stone-\nfaced, as someone once described it.\nHowever , Blues normally look others s", + "traight in the eyes. They\nhave no problem with eye contact, even if it makes others\nuncomfortable.\nV O I C E\nThough not exactly weak, a Blue’ s voice is restrained and\nsubdued. They don’t make much of", + " a fuss about themselves. Their\nimpression tends to be controlled. It’s common for them to sound\nvery pensive, as if weighing every word before it’s allowed to see the\nlight of day .\nGenerally , there", + "’ s little or no variation in a Blue’ s voice. He\nsounds more or less the same all the time—whether he’s reading the\nTV Guide or giving his acceptance speech to the nation after winnin g\nthe presiden", + "tia l election. Without much rhythm or melody , he just\ncontinues to say what’ s on the script.\nMusicians tend to have difficulty with this. They think everything a\nBlue says flows badly .\nS P E E D ", + "I N S P E E C H A N D D E E D\nSlow . At least if we compare it to others’. If we take a Red or even\na Yellow, he’ll speak at the speed of sound. A Blue has a completely\ndifferent pace. It will take", + " as long as it takes. Speed is of no interest.\n1 1\nA Real-Life Example: The Company\nParty—How to Understand Everyone\nYou Meet\nMany years ago, I used to work in the banking sector . It was an\ninteresti", + "ng job in many ways , though it could be a little humdrum at\ntimes. Howeve r, I learned a lot by meeting many different types of\npeople, and I have many stories of funny customer meetings from\nthat pe", + "riod. The most interesting insights, however , I gained behind\nthe scenes.\nOne of the more startling experiences was at a branch where I\nwas working in the 1990s. A series of behavior stereotypes were", + "\nworking there. Some of them were obvious in their behavioral\nprofiles. We had incredibly distinctive Blues and equally obvious\nGreens and Y ellows. And, of course, a Red boss.\nOne spring we’d been wo", + "rki ng incredibly hard, many had been\nout sick, and we were under pressure from customers. People were\ntired, irritated, and touchy . We really needed some good news. The\nperson who got fed up with al", + "l the hard work first was one of the\nYellow advisors. One day , she came into the lunchroom and said that\nshe’d had enough of all our grumpy faces. We needed something\nfun to do, and she knew exactly ", + "what.\nIt was time to find a goal, something to look forward to. A\ncompany party would save the day! Full of enthusiasm, she told us\nthat she’d seen a very nice conference center nearby where all of ", + "us\ncould go for a weekend to have a good rest. They had a stunning\nspa and gym, snazzy hotel rooms, and a trendy restauran t that was\ntruly a la mode. In addition, she knew the owner through a friend ", + "of a\nfriend and could probably get a bargain price on the whole package.\nShe just wanted to know what we thought about the idea.\nAt first, we all stared at her, not knowing if the whole thing was for\n", + "real, because we suspected that she probably didn’t know the owner\nat all. With a broad smile, she continued to speak, talking about all\nthe fun we could have: We could play games, organize some frien", + "dly\ncompetitions, enjoy bubble baths, and, of course, have a monster\nparty in the evening.\nA lively discussion began, and several of us thought the idea\nsounded great. The Red bank director looked aro", + "und and saw that\nhis employees liked the idea. Thankfully , he was keen on the idea.\nWe were tired and worn out, and he wanted to show his appreciation\nfor our commitm ent. He made the decision right", + " there and then. After\na five-minute discussion, he declared that there would be a party and\nhe promised to foot the bill.\nHe looked at the Yellow woman who had suggested the party and\nasked if she wa", + "s prepared to organize everything. Make the\nnecessary calls and book everything. She immediately began to\ndeliver a long harangue that was nothing more than one big\nsmokescreen to hide the fact that s", + "he thought she had done her bit\nby coming up with the idea. The Red boss silenced her with a wave\nof his hand. A few Green colleagues were sitting behind him on a\ncorner of the sofa, the same corner ", + "where they always sat. The boss\ndidn’t even need to turn around to be able to call them by name. He\nasked each of them if they would help. They all agreed without really\nknowing what he’d asked. The R", + "ed boss nodded briefly and left the\nroom. He was done. As he stood up, he forgot about the matter\nimmediately .\nExcitement burst forth, and everyone with Red and Yellow in their\nbehavior profiles bega", + "n exclaiming about the party , all talking at the\nsame time. The Yellow advisor was extremely enthusiastic and\ncontinued to sell the idea, despite the fact that the decision had\nalready been made. Her", + " proposals for the type of party we should\nhave became wilder and wilder . I remember that she started with a\nblack-tie ball and had come all the way to a toga party before\nsomeone managed to silence ", + "her .\nHowever , one person sat silently in the corner . Our Blue credit\nmanager was very concerned . When everything calmed down a bit,\nhe said with a loud voice, “But how are we supposed to get there", + "?”\nThe only thing he had heard about the whole affair was that the\nconference center was twen ty miles outside of town, and now the\nproblems were stacking up. We were faced with a significant\nlogist", + "ical challe nge. Should we go by car? Or taxi? Or had the bank\nplanned to charter a bus? How would this actually be done? Endless\nobstacles were lining up. He crossed his arms and clenched his\nteeth.\n", + "The Yellow woman erupted and tore into him right away . How\ncould he be so negative? Here she was after coming with the best\nidea in the world and he immediately spoiled the whole thing with\numpteen ", + "trying questions. Maybe he should come up with his own\nideas for once ? How did he think we should get there? He didn’t\nhave an answer; he just pointed out that there were lots of options.\nHe couldn’", + "t make any decision or have an opinion. He only knew\nthat the whole idea was poorly thought out.\nThe Greens saved the day by saying that they were willing to take\ntheir cars and pick everyone up. Fiv", + "e cars should be enough, and\nthey promised to arrange everything. This announcement calmed the\ndiscussion down a little, and the Yellow woman could feel like a\nwinner again. Her party had just been sa", + "ved.\nEveryone looked forward to the party , but the Yellow advisor\nnever showed up; she had accidentally double-booked that day.\nThere must have been a wedding on that same weekend. Or maybe\na relati", + "v e was turning fifty. As a matter of fact, it might have been\nboth.\nWhat Happens at a Company Party When No One Is\nPaying Attention\nOnce the party started, exciting things happened. We all know that\n", + "alcohol affects people. We also know that different people are\naffected in different ways. Nothing strange so far. If we ignore for a\nmoment that the amount of alcohol consumed is an important factor", + "\nand assume that we’re just talking about moderate drinking and that\nno one will drive their cars that night, we can see some interesting\npatterns.\nWe had several Yellows in our branch. The four selle", + "rs who dealt\nwith private customers were very Yellow . They were jovial, positive\nentertainers right from the outset. They needed no alcohol before\ndaring to “loosen up” and become approachable. In fa", + "ct, you could\neasily get the impression that they always were a bit tipsy, because\nthey had that frolicsome energy . They saw life as one long\ncelebration that should always be funny and amusing.\nBut ", + "the interes ting thing is that Yellows who drink can lose some\nof this. During the company party , I observed that three of the four\nYellow salespeople became more and more silent as the evening\nwent", + " on. As the intake of certain beverages increase d and the\natmosphere became more intense, they withdrew . I remember one of\nthe guys sat down on the steps outside with a wineglass in his hand.\nI aske", + "d him what was the matter. He was moody and philosophical.\nWhat was the point of it all? Why did he go the extra mile? No one\never really thanked him for it. Perhaps the best thing to do was to\nresig", + "n. My cheerful colleague had been transformed into a brooding\npessimist.\nFunnily enough , I found the Blue credit manager inside the party\nvenue dancing on the table while telling dirty jokes. Never ", + "before nor\nsince have I heard such dirty jokes. When I asked his colleagues\nwhat he had been drinking, they shrugged their shoulders and said\nthat he always behaved like that when he got started. If I", + " had met\nhim for the first time that night, I would have thought that he was one\nof the Y ellows at our workplace.\nIt was as if Yellows and the Blues had completely switched\npersonalities. You could c", + "onclude that a really good party consists of\nsober Y ellows and Blues who are slightly under the influence.\nHowever , thing s became really interesting when I found our Red\nbank director , who normall", + "y was quite stern. He had a glass of\nwhisky in his hand and was standing there speaking to the Green\ngroup of administrators. He explained, a little ambiguously I hasten\nto add, that he really wasn’t", + " a horrible person and that he liked them\nvery much. When he lost his temper at the office, they shouldn’t take\nit personally; he meant no offense, and they didn’t need to be afraid\nof him.\nThe six Gr", + "eens, two men and four women, who had been\ndrinking as well, all spoke up and gave him a piece of their minds.\nThey were irritated by his behavior and explained that he was the\nworst boss they’d ever ", + "had. Each of them had been working in the\noffice for at least twenty years and when he was gone they would\nstill be there, and what did he think about that? They back ed him into\na corner and gave him", + " a proper dressing-down. The Red boss fled\nthe field and was the first to leave the party .\nEven the Reds and the Gree ns had changed behavior with each\nother in some strange way! I left the party wit", + "h an extraordinary\ninsight—alcohol changes people, but exactly how they change is\neven more interesting.\nHowever , back in the office on Monday , everything was back to\nnormal. The Yellows told their", + " latest jokes, and the Blue guy did not\nsay a word. The boss glowe red at everyone, and the Greens just\nstared at the wall when he showed up. Order was restored.\nAgain, I cannot prove this, so you sim", + "ply have to do your own\nresearch. Challenge your pals late on a Friday night and you’ll\nunderstand exactly what I mean. Just take it easy with the alcohol.\n1 2\nAdaptation\nHow to Handle Idiots (i.e., E", + "veryone Who Isn’t like Y ou)\nNow let’s now take a look at how we can adapt to one another in\norder to work together . A man once said (admittedly with an ironic\nsmile on his face, but still) that the ", + "test of intelligence is simple: “If\nyou agree with me, then you’re intelligent. However , if you don’t\nagree with me, then you are clearly and undoubtedly an idiot.”\nI assume that you’re intellige nt ", + "enough to interpret this message\ncorrectly . But seriously—all of us have wondered why some people\ndon’t understand anything. As I said in the introduction, when I was\nyoung I was often struck by the ", + "fact that people who appear to be\nvery intelligent could, at the same time, be such comp lete idiots.\nThey didn’t see what I saw. Some people delicately say that such\nindividuals lack the right “inte", + "llectual elasticity ,” but that’s only\nbecause they’re too well bred to let the word “idiot” come out of their\nmouths.\nPeople Are Obviously Different. So What Do You Do\nAbout It?\nHow should we handle ", + "peop le who are different from us when they\nreact and function in completely different ways? Can you take on\nvarious kinds of personalities in different situations? An interesting\nquestion. If it were", + " possible to behave 100 percent like a chameleon\n—completely changing your behavior depending on whom you’re\nwith—would it be a good idea to try? It’s natural for us to be who we\nare, to exhibit our o", + "wn core behavior . But for a variety of reasons, we\ncan feel the need to adapt to those around us. There’ s often a lot of\ntalk about how we must be flexible and adaptable so that we can\ncope with a w", + "ide variety of situations and are able to respond to\nmany different types of people. The term has even been given a\nname—EI (emotional intelligence) or EQ (emotional quotient). To\ncope with this const", + "ant need for adaptation, it’s important that we’re\naware that adaptation demands ef fort and takes a lot of energy .\nOur natural condition is to exhibit our core behavior . Our\n“unnatural” behavior i", + "s to continually adapt to others, and this\nrequires ability , training, and energy . If we’re uncertain as to what is\n“right” in a situation, if we’re untrained or lack sufficient energy to\ncope with", + " the role that we currently believe is the right one, we will\nbe frightened, hesitant, and often stressed. As a result, we lose even\nmore energy and our core behavior becomes increasingly visible—\noft", + "en to the great surprise of those around us, who are used to\nseeing us behave in a certain way .\nIn a Perfect World\nIn the best of worlds, everyone can be themselves and everything\nfunctions smoothly ", + "from the word go. Everyone agrees at all times\nand conflicts don’t exist at all. This place is said to exist, and it’s\ncalled Utopia. But it’s not that simple. As I said at the beginning of\nthis book,", + " if you think that you can change everyone else, you’ll be\nvery disappoin ted. It would surprise me if you could chan ge anyone\nat all.\nNo matter who you are—R ed, Yellow , Green, or Blue, or a\ncombin", + "ation of multiple colors—you will always be in the minority .\nMost of the people you encounter will be different from you. No\nmatter how well balanced you are, you can’t be all the types at the\nsame t", + "ime. So you have to adapt to the people you meet. Good\ncommunication is often a matter of adapting to others.\nBut wait a minute, you might be thinking. That isn’t true. I can be\nmyself. In fact, I ne", + "ver adap t myself for anyone, anytime, and it’s\ngone very well. It’ s taken me this far in life.\nAbsolutely .\nNaturally , everyone can start with themselves. That’ s not a\nproblem. But then, don’t exp", + "ect to get through to other people with\nthe message you’re trying to share. If you can live knowing that most\nof the people you meet won’t buy what you say, well, then you don’t\nhave a problem.\nYou Al", + "ready Do This, Even If You Don’t Think You Do\nYou already adapt your behavior , even if you don’t realize it. We all\nadapt to one another all the time. It’s part of the social game, the\nvisible and in", + "visible communi cation that is constantly in progress. I’m\njust proposing a more reliabl e system. You don’t have to gamble or\nguess. You can make the right adjustment from the beginning. But\nplease n", + "ote: usually . No system is perfect.\nSome people I meet don’t like the idea of deliberately adapting to\nothers. They consider it dishonest and manipulative. But again, you\ncan always abstain.\nAn Examp", + "le from Real Life\nI’m going to tell you a true story about a man I met during a training\nconference many years ago, a likeable and very popu lar private\nentrepreneur who achieved great success in his", + " field. This man—let\nus call him Adam—was extremely Yellow , a real visionary with\nambitious plans that were only occasionally put into ef fect.\nAdam had never thought about or reflected on how he beh", + "aved\nas a person or how he was perceived by others. There had never\nbeen any reason to. Someo ne had persuaded him to come to this\nconference, and he didn’t really know what he was getting himself\nint", + "o.\nThe topic that day was the same as this book; it was a full-day\nworkshop where we worked on how to understand different behavior\nprofiles. After the lunch break, I saw that something was troubling\n", + "Adam. His face was serious, and his body language had become\nvery closed. When I started talking again and explaining the various\nprofiles, he sank deeper and deeper into his chair , and it was\nobviou", + "s to me that he was thinking about something else.\nI asked what was troubling him.\nThere was an explosion. He exclaimed, “This is wrong! How\ncould I categor ize people like that? Put people into a the", + "oretical grid\nsystem?” It turned out that he didn’t like the idea of adapting to other\ntypes of people, but not because he thought that everyone had to\nadapt to him. No, what worried him was that he s", + "aw it as a way to\nmanipulate others and he didn’t like it. Didn’t like it at all, in fact.\nEveryone wondered what the real problem was. Adam believed\nthat you couldn’t categorize people this way. That", + " using a lot of\nmodels was just wrong. He thought that it was highly dangerous not\nto go on pure feeling.\nSomeone in the group made it clear to him that he of all people\nshould listen, since he was th", + "e one who attracted conflict. The\ndebate was soon in full swing, and after thirty minutes I had to call a\ntime-out.\nI can understand Adam’ s concern, and I respect the fact that he\nraised the issue. W", + "hat worried him was that it wouldn’t work: If\neveryone adap ted to one another , no one would be them selves any\nlonger . In his way of thinking, that would be the greatest deception—\nnot to be yours", + "elf.\nThere’ s somet hing in what he said. At the same time, of course,\nyou can always choose how much or little you modulate your\nbehavior . The more you learn about other people, the easier it\nbecome", + "s for you to make decisions. Join in the game, or go your\nown way? The decision will always be yours.\nFurthermore, Adam was also deeply resentful that I, as a\nspecialist in the field, could describe h", + "im in quite some detail and\ngive examples of how I thoug ht he was wired. When he looked at the\nassessment tool that describes an individual, he went completely\nsilent.\nUltimately , after we sat down ", + "and discussed the matter Adam\ncame to under stand the role and benefits of behavior assessment.\nBut he taught me to be careful with how I use this knowledge.\nHow Often Do We Follow a System Without Kn", + "owing\nIf It Works?\nNo system is perfect. There are always exceptions. This is just one\npiece in the jigsaw puzzle of human life. It’s certainly a large and\nimportant piece, but it’ s far from the whol", + "e picture.\nI’ve divided up the sections on adaptation into two parts for each\ncolor . The first part deals with what you need to do to interact\nmeaningfully with another person—when you really want to", + " get\nthrough to him and put him in a cheerful mood and make him feel\nthat you understand him. The second part deals with how you get\npeople to take your side. What each profile wants in a situation is", + "n’t\nnecessarily the best thing to do to make progress.\nYou can do a great deal of good—if you choose to do so.\nAdapting to Red Behavior\nW h a t a R e d E x p e c t s o f Y o u\n“ D O W H A T I ", + "A S K E D O F Y O U , A S Q U I C K L Y A S P O S S I B L E — P R E F E R A B L Y ,\nE V E N F A S T E R T H A N T H A T ”\nIf you ask a Red, he’ll agree that most people are too slow. They\nspe", + "ak too slowly , they have trouble coming to the point , and they\nwork ineffectively . In a Red’s world, everything simply takes way too\nlong.\nRemember what I told you about impatience in Red behavior ", + ",\nabout their constant pursuit of (fast) results. When other people turn\nthings over in their minds from morning to night, it drives a Red\ncrazy .\nThought and action are one. It has to be done quickly", + " . If there’ s\nanything Reds dislike, it’ s endless discussion. It makes them flip out.\nConclusion: If you want to adapt to a Red’s tempo—hurry up!\nSpeed up! Speak and act more quickly . Look at the ", + "clock often,\nbecause that’s what a Red does. If you can conclude a meeting in\nhalf the time—do it! If you have a Red with you in the car, he won’t\nbe upset if you’re a little bit over the speed limit.", + " (If you drive too\nslowly , he might insist on taking the steering wheel.)\n“ D O Y O U W A N T S O M E T H I N G ? S P E A K U P ! ”\nAs you now know , Reds are very much to the point, and they\nen", + "joy being with other people who also have the ability to tell them\nwhat they want—quickly . If you have a tendency to go around in\ncircles before getting to the crux of the matter , you’ll have diffic", + "ulty\ngetting through to a Red. He’ll get tired if you waste your words\nwithout due cause. And he knows when he’s dealing with a\nchatterbox.\nIt’s very common for people to provide some background to a", + "\nproblem before describing the problem itself. And maybe even some\nmore background to the solution of the problem.\nForget it. It won’t work.\nConclusion: If you want to have a Red’s full attention, cu", + "t the\nsmall talk. It’s vital that you’re clear and straightforward. Determine\nthe most essential point of your message and start there. Let’s say\nthat you’re going to present the latest financial stat", + "ement. Say what’ s\nwritten on the last line of the slide first—that’ s what a Red is sitting\nthere waiting for anyway . Then you can get into the details.\nDon’t use a single word unnecessarily . But m", + "ake sure you’ve\ndone your homework when it comes to the background. Questions\nmay come up. If a Red sense s that you’re uncertain, you’ll be grilled\non the facts.\nWritten materia ls should be concise ", + "and, above all, well laid out.\nNo endless dissertations written by someone who loves the sound of\nhis own voice. A single line jotted down on the back of the napkin will\ndo the job.\n“ I C O U L D N ’", + " T C A R E L E S S W H A T Y O U D I D O N V A C A T I O N . ”\nReds live in the present. Everything that happens is happening\nhere and now. They have a unique ability to focus on what’ s on the", + "\ncurrent agenda . Thus, you need to stick to the topic when you speak\nto a Red. He has no problem with creativity or new ideas; this is\nalways apprec iated as long as it moves you forward. But when a\n", + "Red feels that you’ve left the agenda altogether and are beginning to\nfiddle-faddle, then conflict isn’t that far of f.\nThe most effective method for a Red is to establish what the\nproblem is and then", + " just get to work. Simple, isn’t it?\nConclusion: Stick to the topic! The easiest way is to prepare your\ncase very precisely before going into a meeting with a Red. If, in the\nmiddle of an interesting", + " discussion, another thought pops into your\nhead, write it down and ask at the end of the meeting if it’s okay to\nraise the issue. Otherwise, schedule a new meeting.\nIf someone with lots of Red in his", + " behavior asks what time it is,\nanswer the question with the exact time. Don’t say that there’s plenty\nof time. He’ll decide that himself. And again—don’t forget to keep up\nthe pace. For a Red, “speed", + "” will be synonymous with “ef ficiency .”\nNow we’re talking business—never forget it. Being businesslike in\nbusiness does n’t really sound like a novel idea, but think about it. If\nyou’re a seller , y", + "ou’ve probably attended a number of training\ncourses in sales where you learned that you have to build up a\nrelationship with the customer . Get to know him. Win him over to\nyour side.\nThis is good ad", + "vice. Do it. Build relationships as much as you\ndeem necessary . Just don’t do it with Reds. For exam ple, if you\nbegin a meeting with a Red whom you’ve never met before, nothing\ncould be worse than ", + "asking where he lives, where he spent his last\nvacation, or what he thought of the game last night. Nothing could be\nmore irrelevant to him. He’s not here to chat or make friends. He’s\nthere to do bus", + "iness. Deeply Red individuals become downright\nirritated and aggressive when they notice that someone is trying to\nbe friends with them.\nA Red is not here to be your pal. He’s only here for one reason", + "—\nto do business. He might throw you out—figuratively speaking—if he\nperceives your attempts to be friendly as ingratiation or fawning. This\nisn’t something he would dream of doing himself, so neither", + " should\nyou.\nAnd don’t flatte r a Red if you don’t know him well. Just leave the\ncompliments at home.\nConclusion: Paradoxically , Reds are the easiest to sell to. If you\nwant to do good business, the", + " only thing you need to do is step into\na Red’s office, present your suggestions, and then ask about a deal.\nSkip the football game yeste rday. Never mind that you saw him in\nthe supermarket last week", + ". He didn’t see you anyway . When a Red\ntrusts you and has decided that you’re a decent person who can be\nadvantageous to him, well, then he may very well start discussing\ncars, boats, or the latest p", + "olitics. Play ball with him. But then and\nonly then. And don’t be surpr ised if the meeting ends mid-sentence.\nWhen he’s satisfied with his socializing, he concludes it instantly . It\nhas nothing to d", + "o with you. He’ s just tired of conversation.\n“ Y O U D O N ’ T A C T U A L L Y K N O W ? T H E N W H Y A M I W A S T I N G M Y T I M E W I T H\nY O U ? ”\nIt may sound like a contradict ion,", + " but a Red would also like you to\nbe determined and direct. Although he often demands that he make\nall the importa nt decisions himself, he strongly dislikes dealing with\nvacillating people. Dancing t", + "he hesitation waltz does not instill trust.\nComments like “It’s hard to say,” “It depends,” or “I don’t really know\nwhat to say” just frustrate Reds.\nIf you have an opinion, out with it. Reds judge yo", + "u on how driven\nyou are. You should listen to them, of course, but you must have an\nopinion of your own. Otherwi se, you’re weak, and that’s not a quality\nthat will win you any points.\nKeep in mind th", + "at we all like people in whom we can recognize\nourselves. A Red won’t meet other Reds every day, so when he\nactually does he’s pleasantly surprised. “An equal! Wonderful!” I\nhave met Reds who have rub", + "bed their hands gleefully before starting\na heated debate.\nConclusion: Deliver your opinion without blinking. In the end, you\nmight have to concede, but never sell yourself short. A Red can\nrattle a", + "nd rumble, stamp on the floor, raise his voice, and shake his\nfist. Many people back off in the face of this behavior . It’s not\npleasant to be shouted at, is it?\nWell, the worst thing you can do is ", + "back away and let him walk all\nover you. If a Red is permitted to walk over you, you lose something\nvery important in his eyes—respect. If he doesn’t respect you, he’ll\neat you alive. And walk over yo", + "u again and again and again until you\nbecome completely and totally marginalized. You won’t be someone\nto be reckoned with in the future. A complete doormat.\nThe best thing you can do is place yoursel", + "f in the center of the\nstorm, telling him that he’s wrong. When a Red discovers that you\nwon’t give in, he will turn in an instant. If you know what you are\ntalking about, that is.\nY O U C A N S L E", + " E P W H E N Y O U ’ R E D E A D\nIf you have a boss who is Red, he will work hard, maybe harder\nthan anyone else you’ve ever met. He will have many irons in the fire\nat once , and he’ll have comple", + "te control over everything that’s\nhappening.\nA Red can live with the fact that everything won’t be right the first\ntime. But he will demand that you work hard. You should be diligent\nin everything; fe", + "el free to put in overtime if you can. I urge you not to\nbecome a workaholic—life has more to offer than work—b ut from the\nperceptive of a Red boss, this would be a first-class quality . He will\nhold", + " you in high esteem if he sees your commitment in the form of\nhard work.\nConclusion: Show that you work hard. You don’t need to run into\nthe Red’s office every five minutes, informing him that last n", + "ight you\nstayed at work until half past eleven—he might not even be\nimpressed. He might just ask you whether such a trifling little task\nlike that warranted the time you spent on it. But you should r", + "eport\nback regularly about what you have done and present—briefly—the\nresult of your ef forts.\nBe willing to take initiative. Offer suggestions that the Red didn’t\nask for. As usual, get ready for a f", + "ight, but he will like that you are\ndriven.\nPlease note the wording in the preceding sentence. It doesn’t say\nthat he’ll like you because you are driven. It says “like that you are\ndriven.” A Red boss", + " may very well like you—that’ s sometimes the\ncase—but don’t expect lots of glowing and pleasant praise.\nHow to Behave When You Meet a Red\nYou don’t have to completely adapt to how Reds want you to b", + "ehave\n—that would be surrenderin g. There are several other things you\nneed to keep an eye on in order to achieve the results you want.\nBecause Reds have their faults and failings but often turn a bl", + "ind eye\nto them , you can help to achieve a better result if you know how.\nHere are some points to keep in mind.\n“ D e t a i l s … B o o o o o r i n g … ”\nEssentially , Reds dislike getting into det", + "ails. It’s boring and takes\ntime. Thus, Reds tend to be careless about small matters. You can\naccuse Reds of many things , but meticulousness isn’t typically one\nof them . For them the destination wil", + "l always be more important than\nthe journey , so Reds will do just about anything to achieve the\ndesired results . Reds won’t naturally stop to consider the small\nthings or analyze their method.\nConcl", + "usion: If you really want to help Reds do better work, try to\ndemonstrate the benefits of keeping an eye on the details. Explain\nthat the results will be better and profits larger if they just consid", + "er a\ncouple of small but crucial elements of the project.\nBe prepared for the huff and puff and a general unwillingness to\nact on your advice. But if you’re good at arguing, your advice will be\nfollow", + "ed. As we know , Reds are good at pushing themselves to the\nlimit, just as long as they make headway .\nQ u i c k b u t O f t e n F r i g h t f u l l y W r o n g\nAs I have written several times bef", + "ore, everything in a Red’s\nworld is usually very urgent. You can figure out for yourself the risks\nthis entails. Putting the pedal to the metal may seem like a good\nidea, but only when everything els", + "e, and most of all every one else, is\non the same train. Normally , Reds rush ahead of the group, only to\nget annoyed when others can’t keep pace.\nA Red needs someone who can get him to pause and real", + "ize that\nnot everyone has grasped the situation as quickly as he has. He’ll\nnever be able to carry out all the phases of a project on his own—\neven if he believes he can and probably will attempt to. ", + "He still\nneeds to have his team with him.\nYou’ve probably heard the expression “quick and wrong.”\nConclusion: Give examples of instances where time was lost by\nbeing too hasty . Point out the risks ", + "involved in hurrying too much.\nExplain that others can’t keep up, and point out that it would be great\nif everyone knew what the project was about. Don’t give in. Assert\nthat not even he can manage e", + "verything himself. Force a Red to wait\nfor others.\nAfterwards, try to discuss the event and show clearly and\ndistinctly what was gained and how much the Red has profited by\ntaking things a bit slower ", + ".\n“ L e t ’ s T r y a F e w C o m p l e t e l y U n t e s t e d I d e a s a n d S e e H o w I t G o e s . ”\nShould we really do that? Red individuals aren’t anxious about\nrisks. Many Reds a", + "ctively search for risky situations just for the thrill\nof it. In fact, what others might perceive as dangerous behavior a\nRed wouldn’t even think of as risky. “Hey, life is risky. You won’t get\nout o", + "f it alive!”\nHowever , Reds do need someone who can weigh the adva ntages\nagainst the disadvantages. Disadvantages are boring, of course, so\na Red individual will often simply ignore them. Since the a", + "nswer to\nwhat risks you take often lies in the details, your approach should be\nsimilar to the way you handle discussing details with a Red.\nConclusion: Reds calculate risks by constantly looking at ", + "the\nfacts. Facts are something they understand. Since Reds prefer not to\nlook backward s—old and tiring—and focus on the present and the\nfuture, a plain and honest exchange of experiences may be calle", + "d\nfor.\nGive examples of situations that historically were show n to be\ndangerous. It can be about business risks, going downhill skiing\nwithout a helmet, or calling the boss an idiot. Prove things wi", + "th facts\nand demand that the person thinks twice before deciding to take on\na new project without first having checked the conditions.\nAs usual: Y ou’re right—stick to your guns and don’t give in.\n“ I", + " ’ m N o t H e r e t o B e Y o u r P a l . O r A n y o n e E l s e ’ s , f o r T h a t M a t t e r . ”\nSince many Reds are less relationally focused, they’re frequently\ncriticized for insi", + "sting that all relationships must take place on their\nterms, even in private life.\nPeople around Reds frequently feel that they’re being steamrolled\nby their friends or coworkers. It’s rarely the Red’", + "s real intention; it’s\njust something that happens. You can’t make an omelet without\nbreaking eggs, and so on.\nReds may not understand that others are avoiding them because\nthey would rather avoid co", + "nflict. This also means that Reds can be\nexcluded from important information. They may not feel excluded if\nthey’re invited for a beer on Friday evening, but it’s far worse for\nthem to feel left out o", + "f impo rtant decisions. In the worst case, this\ncan lead them to suspect the people around them are deliberately\nwithholding important information. The power strugg le is just\nmoments away .\nConclusio", + "n: Reds need to understand that the road to full\ntransparency is to adapt to others. That thought may never even\nhave crossed their minds; they’re mostly focused on themselves and\ntheir own thing. Bu", + "t by realiz ing that no one can manage everything\nalone, they can be prevailed upon to pause and actually care about\nother people.\nWhen a Red understands that many people think it’s important to\nchat ", + "about their child’ s first tooth, how the cabin they rented on\nvacation was furnished, and about the boat they’re dreaming of\nbuying, he can listen actively and contribute to the discussion. Once\na Re", + "d understands what all this small talk is about, the door is open.\nYou may even learn something about him.\n“ W h a t K i n d o f W e a k l i n g s A r e Y o u ? J u s t H a n d l e I t ! ”\nRed", + "s just get angry . It can’t be said any clearer than that. Their\ntemperament is such that it detonates every now and then, causing\nmigraines for everyone around. They don’t notice it happening\nthemsel", + "ves; screaming a little bit is just another way to\ncommunicate.\nNo one likes a bully, but not everyone is willing to say so. When a\nRed tramples on someone’ s toes, you must tell him nicely that it\ndo", + "esn’t work like that. He’ll put on an innocent face and pretend that\nhe doesn’t understand what you’re talking about. Secretly he’ll be\nthinking that if some people are afraid of him, well, that’ s j", + "ust tough.\nConclusion: You should confront his behavior immediately . Don’t\nallow any exceptions; just say loudly and clearly that you won’t\ntolerate coars e remarks, nastiness, and uncalled-for tant", + "rums.\nDemand adult behavior , and if he loses his temper just leave the\nroom. It’s impo rtant that you never let him get his way just by barking\nhis head of f.\nJust remember that this is a technique—", + "bickering and brawling—\nthat has worked for the Red for many years. As a child, he might\nhave gotten his way by quarreling. More than likely , his family\nexperienced his explosive temperament in his v", + "ery early years. And\nyou can bet that they just succumbed to avoid the air-raid siren. Very\nfew people have confronte d him about this, meaning that the\ndemand for calmer conversa tions could easily l", + "ead to even louder\nprotests. The one thing a Red detests more than anything else is\nbeing told that he must lower his voice.\nAdapting to Yellow Behavior\nW h a t a Y e l l o w E x p e c t s o f Y ", + "o u\n“ I S N ’ T I T N I C E B E I N G H E R E A L L T O G E T H E R ? ”\nIn essence, Yellows are not afraid of conflict. If something goes\nwrong, they can really blow a gasket, but if possible, t", + "hey prefer a\npleasant and cozy atmosphere. Yellows are at their best when\neveryone is being friendly and the sun is shining.\nA Yellow , howe ver, can be very sensitive to whether people are in\ngood sp", + "irits or not. If the people in a group are in bad spirits and\naggression is pouring down like from a cloudburst, he won’t be\nhappy at all.\nConclusion: A Yellow functions best when he is happy and\nco", + "ntent. His creativity is at its zenith and all his positive energy flows.\nYou should strive to create a warm and friendly atmosphere around\nhim.\nSmile a lot, have fun, and laugh. Listen to his crazy j", + "okes , laugh\nalong at all his childish remarks, and kindle the easygoing and\nhappy-go-lucky atmosphere.\nIf you do that, he’ll feel better about you and listen to you more,\nwhich is always a good thing", + " . A Yellow in a bad mood is not much\nfun to be with.\n“ I A S K E D S O M E O N E T O F I X T H A T T I N Y D E T A I L — I C A N ’ T R E M E M B E R W H O ,\nT H O U G H . ”\nKeeping a Yellow", + "’ s interest is, in all honesty , not the easiest thing\nto do. There are many things that bore the socks off a Yellow\nemployee, customer , friend, or neighbor . A foolproof method to put a\nYellow to s", + "leep quickly and ef ficiently is to bring up lots of details.\nDon’t do that. A Yellow simply can’t cope with details. It just gets\nboring. Not only will he forget what you’re talking about, but he’ll ", + "also\nsimply think that he doesn’t need any of those details. His strength\nlies in the broad brushstroke s. You can easily ask a Yellow to draw\nup a vision for the next ten years, but don’t ask him to ", + "explain how to\nmake it happen.\nConclusion: If you want to keep a Yellow’ s attention, strip away as\nmuch of the minutia as you possibly can. Always start with the big\nquestions. It’s perfectly fine t", + "hat you know how to instal l the latest\nsurround soun d system, but don’t tire your Yellow friend with it. It’s\nnot for him. He just wants to know how to get the music started.\nIt’s just like with Red", + "s, if not worse. Yellows don’t care about how\nthings work, only that they work. So put away the instruction manual\n—they’ll never open it.\nF O L L O W Y O U R G U T . I T W O R K S E V E R Y T I", + " M E .\nIf I had a dollar for every time a Yellow has explained a totally\ncrazy decision by saying that it felt right, I could be sleeping at the\nRitz. There’s a study that shows that some people make ", + "better\ndecisions if they only go on gut feeling. Whatever you do, never\nmention that to your Y ellow friend or you’ll never hear the end of it.\nIt must feel right. A Yellow can readily ignore the actu", + "al facts so\nlong as it feels right. Don’t misunderstand this: A Yellow understands\nperfectly well that some people look at facts and that this is\nimportant. He’s not stupid. It’s just that he’s not i", + "nterested. He wants\nto feel his way .\nDo you want to get a Yellow to make a decision? Try to put the\nExcel spreadsheets aside, lean forward, and say with a broad smile,\n“How does this feel?”\nHe will ", + "understand exactly . And you’ll get an answer .\nConclusion: Just accept that a Y ellow feels his way . He has a high\ntolerance for uncertainty and isn’t overly afraid of risks. Adapt to it.\nYou can g", + "et through to him by showing him that you too follow your\ngut. No matter how wrong this might feel to you, this is the way to a\nYellow’ s heart. He’ll recognize himself in you. You’ll become the best", + "\nof friends. The sun will shine on you.\n“ T H I S C A R I S A P R O T O T Y P E ? T H E C O N C E P T C O M P L E T E L Y U N T E S T E D ?\nN O O N E H A S E V E R D O N E T H I S B E F ", + "O R E ? P E R F E C T ! ”\nWhile a Red focuses on speed, a Yellow focuses on the latest\nand greatest. “New” is syno nymous with “good.” All Yellows know\nthat. And why not? Without creativity and new i", + "nventions all\ndevelopment would simply grind to a halt, right?\nEveryone likes having a little excitement in their everyday life.\nThe difference lies in how we define “exciting.” For a Yellow , “new”\n", + "means “exciting.” Yellows are so-called early adopters, the very first\nto try out new things. Check out who is wearing the latest fashion,\nwho is the first to drive a new and preferably unusual model ", + "of car.\nWho has the latest cell phone and who knows what restaurant will be\nthe newest sensation in a few months?\nHow can they keep track of all this? Don’t ask me. They probably\ndevote some of their ", + "time at work to keep au courant on all things\nnew and interesting. But they’re also early in implementing new work\nmethods and new concepts to sell goods and services. It’s just great\nfun.\nConclusion:", + " Allow a Yellow to devote himself to the latest thing.\nHe’ll love it. If you want to sell something to a Yellow , use\nexpressions like “state-of-th e-art,” “newly developed,” and “never\nbefore used.”", + " Y our potential customer will really get into gear .\n“No one else has ever tried this? I have to have it!”\nHe’ll like you because you’re so exciting and so interesting and,\nabove all, innovative. Equ", + "ip yourself with lots of energy , because it\ncan be challenging to keep up-to-date, but Yellows will adore you.\nHowever , be prepared to be replaced rather quickly if they find\nsomeone else who is eve", + "n more knowledgeable about newer things.\n“ Y O U S E E M I N T E R E S T I N G . W A N N A K N O W W H O I A M ? ”\nBy now we’ve established that Yellows like other people. They\nfunction best if", + " they surround themselves with a crowd. Of course,\nYellows don’t like everyone they meet, but they will give the majority\na decent chance.\nYou need to show a Yellow that you are just as open and frien", + "dly\nas he is. If you’re way too closed and private, he’ll feel unwelcome.\nWhy didn’t you reply when he spoke to you? Why didn’t you smile at\nthe funny story about his dog? Why doesn’t he know anything", + " about\nyou? What are your dreams? Insuf ficient personal connection can\nresult in a strong sense of insecurity , and your relationship won’t\ndevelop in a positive direction. If you’re Red or Blue, you", + " need to\nthink carefully about how to get this to work. If you want to, of\ncourse.\nConclusion: Become approachable. Demonstrate that you’re\navailable; smile a lot; be sure to have open body language", + ". When a\nYellow wonders where you grew up, don’t just respond with “New\nYork.” Say that you lived in Chelsea, and that you loved jogging\nalong the High Line, and that a pickpocket stole your wallet on", + "ce\nwhile you were walking down Fifth Avenue, and that you met the\nlove of your life when she accidentally dropped a plate of fries on\nyour pants at a restaurant. It may seem a bit unnecessary , but yo", + "u\nshould definitely show interes t in the Yellow as a person. Admittedly ,\nit won’t be difficult to find out things about him, because he’ll freely\ntell you a great deal. But be sure to show that you", + " are curious and\ninterested.\nAnd remember that Y ellows are very susceptible to flattery .\nHow to Behave When You Meet a Yellow\nTo keep a Yellow in good spirits, you need to rub him the right way.\nThe", + " problem will become obvious after a while. They won’t get that\nmuch work done. I’ve looked at a group of Yellows who were trying\nto solve a problem. They all spoke at the same time and had a great\nti", + "me, and when you asked them how things were going they said,\n“Fantastic!” But nothing got written down. To really make headway\nwith Yellows, you need to do more than just create a great\natmosphere. O", + "nce you’ve tuned into their frequency , you need to do\nthe following.\nL e a r n t o T e l l W h e t h e r a Y e l l o w I s A c t u a l l y L i s t e n i n g\nI’m just going to say it like it i", + "s—Y ellows are, beyond the shadow\nof a doubt, the worst listeners. Usually , they will never admit it. The\nvery expression itself—“awful listeners”—is something negative, and\nthey’ll do anything to av", + "oid negativity . Many Yellows really see\nthemselves as good listeners . Who knows where they got that idea?\nIt’s simp ly not true. Of course, there are Yellows who listen—when it\nsuits them. Or when t", + "hey’ve already gotten what they wanted out of\na conversation. But in most cases, forget about it.\nThey don’t want to listen. They want to talk. Yellows simp ly think\nthat they can express everything f", + "ar better than anyone else. The\nproblem is that they neglect to listen to what anyone else is saying.\nConclusion: When you’re dealing with Yellows, there are certain\nthings you need to do. It doesn’t", + " matter if you’re speaki ng to your\npartner about your summer vacation or to a colleague about an\nongoing project, you need a plan of action. You need to have\nprepared yours elf carefully . You have ", + "to know what your message is\nand exactly what response you need from them. You must persuade\nthe Yellow, happy person to answer your questions very concretely\nand hear him say, “Yes, I will be there a", + "t four just as I promised,” or,\n“Of course I’ll notify the customer exactly what we have agreed to.”\nBut—big but—be prepared to follow up if it’s important, because\nthe Yellow didn’t write down any of", + " it. Unless you managed to\npersuade him to write it on his calendar , of course. That would be the\nbest way. But in all other contexts, you should expect that what\nyou’ve said has gone in one ear and ", + "out the other .\nL e a r n H o w t o R e s p o n d t o “ N o P r o b l e m — T h a t W o n ’ t T a k e L o n g a t A l l ! ”\nYellows are optimists regard ing time; that’s just the way it is.", + "\nSure, your work can be done quickly , but rarely as quickly as a\nYellow thinks. This has to do with the fact that he simply can’t plan or\nstructure his life. I’ve persona lly worked with people who l", + "egitimately\nbelieved that they could manage eight meetings per day, who\nthought that it only took two days to renovate an entire kitchen and\nthat it is possible to walk across Manhattan in twenty minu", + "tes.\nThese are typical manifestations of a Yellow’ s optimism. The\nproblem is obvious. It’s impos sible to accomplish everything a Yellow\nwants to do, particularly because he doesn’t even know how lo", + "ng\nanything takes. And even if he does ask someone how long it takes,\nhe doesn’t listen to what the person says, because what he’s saying\nis wrong. After all, the Y ellow believes he probably knows be", + "st.\nThe other problem is that he won’t get into gear when he should.\nDo you know anyone who has taken a day off to paint the bedroom\nand at three o’clock in the afternoon, hasn’t opened the can of pai", + "nt\nyet? “I’ll just do this first, then call so and so, then pop out for a bit,\nthen…” Sometimes I wonder if the people who schedule the\nsubways are all Yellow . There ’s nothing nasty in this; it’s ju", + "st about a\ntotal inability to have a realistic sense of time. And a genuine belief\nthat this commodity is inexhaustible.\nI remem ber a dinner I went to with a few Yellow friends. The pub\nhad a policy ", + "of ninety-minute reservations, which meant that if you\ngot there twenty-five minute s late there wouldn’t be time for an\nappetizer or for dessert because the kitchen couldn’t manage it in\ntime. My par", + "tner and I arrived fifteen minutes early—we both have\nsome splashes of Blue in our profiles. We went to the table and sat\ndown to wait for the others. T ime passed. Forty minutes later , twenty-\nfive", + " minutes late, they arrived, joyfully joking about how they had\nforgotten the time. We mana ged to order just a main course, eat it,\nand quickly pay for it before the next guest wanted his table. The\n", + "strange thing was that when we spoke about the incident afterwards,\ntheir recollection was that they were just a few minutes late. They\nhad simply repressed the fact that they missed 30 percent of the", + "\ndinner .\nConclusion: Coordinate all appointments properly with Yellows.\nSynchronize your watches. Explain very clearly that the plane takes\noff at 8:00 P.M. and that if he doesn’t show up by then he", + "’ll be left\nstanding at the gate. Say it like it is: If he’s not in his car outside your\ndoor two hours before the plane takes off, you’ll drop down dead of a\nheart attack. Tell the Yellow that you w", + "ill be deeply irritated with him\nand that your friendship could be damaged due to his continual\nslipups.\nIf the dinner is due to start at 7:00 P.M., invite everyone for that\ntime, but make it 6:30 for", + " your Yellow friends. They’ll arrive last\nanyway . They’ll come with very well-worded excuses. Be prepared\nfor very colorful stories. But also know that Yellows will emphatically\ndeny that they are op", + "timists regarding time. They’ll insist that they\nmost certainly kept an eye on the clock. It was just that something\nhappened on the way .\nI t L o o k s L i k e a H a n d G r e n a d e W e n t ", + "O f f i n H e r e\nThe most cluttered desks I have ever seen have all belonged to\nYellows. Computer screens with so many Post-it notes stuck to them\nthat you can barely see the screen. The most topsy", + "-turvy garages\nand the most overloaded attics belong to Yellows as well. But this is\nonly the visible. Ask to look at a Yellow person’ s calendar . Or\nhandbag. Don’t even think about looking in a Yell", + "ow’ s closet. And\nthis is still only the purely physical.\nMeetings are moved or forgotten; things disappear; whole cars\nare lost in parking lots. Keys are gone without a trace. Furthermore,\nmany Yello", + "ws have no ability to plan their day. They can go to the\nsupermarket five times in a row and buy three things at a time\nbecause they didn’t write down what they needed. This can be\nbecause they don’t", + " know what they want until they get there or\nbecause they’r e sure they’ll be able to recall the nineteen things they\nneed to buy. (Yellows have a very generous view of their own ability .\nThey’ll tel", + "l anyone who wants to listen that they have the best\nmemory in the world.)\nConclusion: If you really want to help a Yellow get organized,\nmake sure he gets at least some structure in his life. Help o", + "ut by\ncreating a simple list. If you are going shopping: Write down\neverything yourself. Y our partner or pal will forget half of the items.\nCreate a structure for him. Yellows are the ones who are mo", + "st in\nneed of structure in the form of diagrams and checklists.\nParadoxically , they hate all of that. They won’t let them selves be\n“shoehorned” into a system not of their own choosing. Be diplomatic", + ".\nIf you press too hard, you can get some powerful reactions:\n“Why does everything have to be micromanaged? Are we living in\na fascist state, or what?”\nR e m e m b e r T h a t f o r Y e l l o w s ", + "t h e M o s t I m p o r t a n t T h i n g I s t o L o o k G o o d . A l l\nt h e T i m e .\n“Me, me, me.” Yellows have strong egos, just like Reds, no doubt\nabout that. They like getting attent", + "ion; they throw themselv es into the\ncenter of things faster than anyone else. They enjoy themselves the\nmost when they’re in the middle of where the action is. Your yellow\nfriend is a ray of sunshine", + ", talking louder and faster than everyone\nelse and lighting up a room with his behavior .\n“Shine all the spotlight on me. See me, hear me, like me.” But this\nmeans that no one else gets any space. Man", + "y conversations end up\nwith the Yellow individual loudly and resonantly speaking about his\nexperience or his opinion. No matter what you are talking about—\nwar, starvation, dieting, cars, executives, ", + "gardens—a Yellow will\nbring up a story in which he himself is the protagonist. If he doesn’t\nhave any story , he’ll make one up.\nTheir thoughts often begin with the word “I.” “I want,” “I think,” “I\nc", + "an,” “I know ,” “I will.” It’s quite natural. They like other people, but\nthere is one thing they like even more: themselves.\nConclusion: Yellows need to understand that there are other\npeople in the", + " room or worki ng on the project besides themselves.\nYou can never allow Yellows to consume all the oxygen. They need\nto hear— from someone with courage and perseverance—that they\nhave to let others e", + "nter the conversation or whatever it may be.\nIt’s impossible to explain this in the midst of a conversation with\nothers present. It won’t fall on fertile ground. A Yellow can be very\noffended by such ", + "criticism. He’ll think things like, “Everyone else just\nthinks of themselves,” or, “I’m the only one who looks out for me.”\nThis type of feedback must be given discreetly and in a positive way.\nIt dep", + "ends a little bit on how Yellow the person in question is, so you\nwill probably need a plan.\nBe prepared for one thing: You may very well become enemies in\nthe process. You’re definitely taking a ris", + "k here. Hearing that you are\negocentric and self-centered is extremely unflattering. Yellows will\nunderstand this; they’re not stupid. But they will just think that your\nanalysis is wrong. So you’ll ", + "have to work a lot here. Or swap pals.\nA l l T a l k , b u t N o W a l k\nI might as well get straight to the point here to avoid confusion:\nYellows talk more than they work. They have a penchant f", + "or talking\nabout everything they need to do rather than actually doing anything.\nEveryone who knows a genuine Yellow knows exactly what I’m\ntalking about.\nOkay , so many people have trouble getting m", + "otivated to work,\nespecially with boring tasks. But Yellows find it particularly hard to\nleave the starting block when faced with uncomfortable tasks. It may\nbe about having to call a dissatisfied cus", + "tomer , or getting an oil\nchange, or going to the pharmacy . If it’s dull and uninspiring, it won’t\nhappen. Their excuses for avoiding these tasks will be numerous\nand imaginative.\nBecause a Yellow’ s", + " perspective on time is based in the future,\nthey spend more time talking about the future than dedicating their\nenergy to getting there. Seldom have so many crazy plans been\ndrawn up or so many insan", + "e goals set as is done by Yellows.\nBecause they think aloud, people around them believe that these\nfantasies are going to happen: “W ow! It sounds amazing!”\nConclusion: To help your Yellow friend you", + " need to make sure\nthat he puts his shovel in the ground and starts digging. Push him,\nbut push gently . Treat him a little bit like you would treat a child. Be\nkind but clear . If he notices that yo", + "u’re becoming his taskmaster ,\nthings may become difficult. Yellows hate feeling controlled. They\nneed the most help to get into gear, but that doesn’t mean they like\nit. They are free souls and don’t", + " obey anyone else.\nSo you need to be diplomatic. Softly and gently explain the value\nof actually doing the job itself, now that he knows what needs to be\ndone. Take a moment to explain to a Yellow how", + " the great popularity\nhe already enjoys can actua lly be increased even further if he just\nhappens to get finished. Everyone will love him, and he will be more\nbeloved than ever .\nDoes that sound simp", + "le? It is simple. All you need to do is\novercome your resistance to inflating someone’ s ego in such an\nobvious way . But it will work.\nR e a l i z e T h a t Y e l l o w s M a y S e e Y o u r L ", + "i p s M o v i n g b u t N o t H e a r A n y t h i n g\nY o u ’ r e S a y i n g\nThis could very well be a subtitle to a section on bad listeners,\nbecause these things are connected to each other ", + ". All of us make\nmistakes and no one is perfect. This is obvious to everyone, even to\na Yellow . In hypothetical discussions, Yellows can agree that other\npeople really need to get a grip, sort thing", + "s out, and do better . They\ncan even admit that there are no perfect people. So far , no problems.\nThe problems arise when we try to make a particular Yellow\nunderstand that he may need to improve. Th", + "is creates a conflict,\nespecially if the criticism is expressed in public.\nYellow people find it difficult to cope with criticism. They don’t like\nit beca use it doesn’t make them look good. Imagine, ", + "there’ s\nsomeone who doesn’t like everything they do and everything they\nsay! I have individually sat down with Yellows and given them\npersonal feedback on their profiles. Everything goes fine until w", + "e get\nto the page with the headin g “Areas of Improvement,” which is to\nsay, weaknesses.\nEven if we’re on good terms, the temperature in the room gets\nsignificantly cooler. Defensive walls pop up quic", + "ker than you can say\n“poor self-awareness.” Deep down the Yellow individual knows that\nhe has weaknesses; he just won’t consider talking about them.\nConclusion: If you wish to get through to a Yellow", + " with negative\nfeedback, you need to be persistent. Create a friendly atmosphere in\nthe room and find the right tone so that your criticism lands where it\nshould.\nYou can always slam your fist on the ", + "table as hard as you can to\nreally shake him up, lay down the cold, hard truth, and give it to him\nstraight. I don’t recommend this. Better to work slowly and\nconsistently , repeating the same feedba", + "ck until he understands.\nClarity is key. Make sure to be extremely well prepared, with all\npossible facts to substantiate your claims. Yellows are clever\nmanipulators. If he senses that you’re not ser", + "ious in your criticism\nand that you won’t follow up, he’ll lure you off track. He is good at\nsmokescreens. Make sure you don’t get lost in the fog.\nGet real answers to your questions, and be sure that", + " he\nunderstands the message. Insist that he writes down what you have\nsaid. Ask him to repeat your feedback.\nYou also need to set up a plan of action. But save that for the\nnext meeting. Right now, yo", + "u’ve probably gotten as far as you can\nwith a Y ellow . You’ll just exhaust yourself if you keep going.\nOne more thing: This doesn’t happen with positive feedback.\nThen, the Yellow will jump on the ba", + "ndwagon quicker than you can\nimagine.\nAdapting to Green Behavior\nW h a t a G r e e n E x p e c t s o f Y o u\nE V E R Y T H I N G S H O U L D F E E L G O O D A L L T H E T I M E\nSecurity wil", + "l always be important to a Green. A Green worries\nabout everything that may happen. He doesn’t like insecurity and\nsolves it by hiding under the covers. If you don’t see it, then it’s not\nthere. He do", + "es n’t want to be anywhere if it’s too insecure. He strives\nfor stability and doesn’t even want to think about wild gambles.\nYou may be thinking, The world is a dangerous place to live.\nThere’ s an i", + "nfinite number of dangers out there. Absolutely anything\ncan go wrong. My relationship may fall apart; I might get sick; my\nhusband [or wife] could leave me; my children might think I am an\nidiot. I ", + "can lose my job; my boss may start agreeing with my children;\nI could end up in conflict with a lot of people. On the way to work, I\ncould have a car accident. A person can die from a tiny fish bone\nc", + "aught in his throat!\nAll these things make life scary. Anything can happen. Many\nGreens I’ve known over the years in my role as a coach have said\nthat all these potential dangers paralyze them. They ", + "become\noverwhelmed with thoughts about these risks and dangers. They\nbecome completely powerless to act. And since they’re not\nparticularly motivated to get out in the world, it becomes easier to\njus", + "t stay at home. Nice and safe at home by the hearth.\nIt wasn’ t Greens who left their homes and immigrated to America.\nThey would never have gotte n on the boat, because who knows how\nthe trip would g", + "o? And if you survived the voyage itself, who could\nreally say what you would find when you got there? Those stories\nabout all those people who achieved success and wealth could well\nbe humbug from st", + "art to finish. And if you did get a job and if you did\nfind somewher e to live, who knows if you would be happy? Imagine\nif you end up even more miserable than you were at home! You\nknow what you have", + ", but you have no idea at all what you’ll get.\nConclusion: Accep t that this person doesn’t think like you do.\nAccept that he is driven just as much by fear as by anything else—\nperhaps even more. Sh", + "ow that you’re prepared to listen to what he is\nanxious about. Don’t say things like “There’ s nothing to be afraid of.”\nIt doesn’t work because the fear itself is real. And it’s also not true.\nThere", + " are many legitimate things to be afraid of. We all have things\nwe’re anxious about; a Green just has more of them.\nInstead, help your Green friend to face his fear of the unknown.\nEncourage him to br", + "ave thing s that feel scary and still move ahead.\nJust as we learned to swim as children, despite the fact that the\nwater looked cold and dangerous, you can give support through\nsmall, gentle nudges f", + "orward.\nWhen your friend says that the grass only looks greene r on the\nother side, simply take a deep breath and keep at it.\nN O T H I N G H A P P E N E D . T W I C E .\nI’m sure you recall that I ", + "mentioned the Green’ s passivity . Nothing\nis too big to be ignored. Being proactive and driven, having an active\nlifestyle—all these things disturb tranquility . And it won’t be\nappreciated. He won’t", + " be happy if you’re constantly coming up with\nnew things to do.\nGreens feel better when they don’t have to be active. They come\nhome on a Friday evening so completely exhausted from spending\nthe week ", + "trying to accomplish as little as possible that they now need\nto take a good rest. I’ve met Greens whose efforts to avoid work cost\nthem more energy than actually doing the work.\nThe consequences are ", + "obvio us to those around them. They don’t\nlike weekends with full schedules. Visiting the mother-in-law ,\norganizing a picnic, taking his son to soccer , cleaning out the garage,\ninviting the neighbor", + "s over for dinner—everything becomes a burden\nfor him, and half the time nothing gets done at all. A Green glides\nunder the radar and disappears completely . He needs peace and\nquiet to be able to do ", + "what he does best. Peace and quiet make him\nfeel safe and content.\nConclusion: It’s important to respect this on one level. We need to\nput ourselves in other people’ s shoes, knowing how stressful it", + " can\nbe for them to be constantly on the go. In today’ s society , it’s not\npossible to avoid all the bustle and activity . It means that a genuine\nGreen often feels that he is doing something wrong.", + " He hears about\neveryone else’s weekends, their activities, how they’ve completed\none complicated project after the other . For a Green that just sounds\nexhausting.\nThe solution is to allow the Green ", + "his periods of peace, quiet, and\ninactivity . He needs to function like that. This doesn’t mean, of\ncourse, that he can sit on his butt his whole life, but he does need to\nbe allowed to do a reasonabl", + "e amount of—nothing.\n“ W H E R E A R E W E G O I N G ? I T H I N K I ’ L L S I T T H I S O N E O U T . … ”\nStability and predictability are valuable to a Green. And when you\nthink about it, ", + "it’s very logical—it’ s a good thing knowing what’ s going\nto happen. We probably all have some measure of control\ndependency . We simply want to know . For Greens, this dependency\nis very strong. Whe", + "n Reds ask what, Yellows wonder who. When\nBlues ask why , Greens want to know how .\nA Gree n simpl y needs to know what the plan is. What needs to\nhappen? When will things be taking place? What should", + " he expect?\nJust look at how it works at home. Who always has the same spot\nat the breakfast table? I know that many of us are creatures of habit,\nbut if you snitch a Green’ s since-a-long-time-ago-cl", + "aimed chair , you\nunhinge his very existence and he won’t be able to get his food\ndown.\nBut their need for predictabil ity goes further than that. It’s about\nanything that even resembles change. In o", + "ur society today, the only\nthing that’s permanent is change. Nothing is totally predictable;\neverything rotates on its own axis and appears in new shapes and\nforms. And all of this is extremely stress", + "ful for Greens.\nConclusion: Since a Gree n won’t come up with anything on his\nown, it will be you and I who will have to handle the planning. But\nmaybe that’s okay. We can help ease Greens’ minds by ", + "explaining\nevery step of the plan. Instead of just saying that I’ve invited guests\nover for the weekend, I could explain that we will be having John and\nMary over for dinner and we’ll be offering a t", + "hree-course dinner\nconsisting of an appetizer , a main course, and a dessert. I’ll fix the\nmain course while my Green partner should make the dessert and\nshould follow this recipe. I explain who is do", + "ing what. Who will buy\nthe wine, who will buy the flowers, and so on. I might even explain\nwhich day my Green partner has to do the shopping. And who\nknows, maybe I’ll write down the address of the ", + "flower shop with a\nlist of exact instructions about what should be purchased.\nDoes this sound exaggerated? Not at all. Remember , Greens\naren’t world champions at taking their own initiative. Think of", + " your\nfamily as a company—everyone doesn’t do the same things,\nbecause we’re good at different things. If you’re better at taking the\ninitiative, do it. But make sure that your Green partner is on bo", + "ard.\nOtherwise, there’ s a risk that he’ll run out the back door .\nHow to Behave When You Meet a Green\nOkay , now you know how your Green friends would like to be\nhandled. The result will be a calm an", + "d excellent relationship, and you\nwill be good friends for many years. Nice, huh? But you can’t stop\nthere, because unless you’re a genuine Green yourself you’ll want to\nactually do something every n", + "ow and then. And you’ll need to have\nsome appropriate strategies to kick-start your stability-loving friend.\n“ W h y D o e s E v e r y t h i n g H a v e t o B e S u c h a T o - d o ? U g h . ", + " I ’ m G o i n g t o B e d . ”\nI’ve said this before, but we need to spill more ink on this issue.\nGreens don’t like friction of any kind. They back off when a\ndiscussion heats up or if you frown a", + "t the wrong time. Everything\ncould be a potential conflict, and this is a very bad cond ition for all\nGreens. They lock themselves in and become silent and passive.\nMany years ago, I was giving a sale", + "s conference at which I\ntrained sellers in personal effectiveness. One of them was playing\nwith his cell phone unremittingly , and when I—nicely and gently—\nasked him to write his text messages during", + " the break, he\ncompletely stiffened up and stopped speaking. He didn’t respond to\nany questions or take part in any discussions. He didn’t so much as\nlift his pen for the remainder of the day. He glar", + "ed at me, and when I\nasked what the problem was he just shrugged his shoulders.\nHe gave me what is probably the worst evaluation I have ever\nreceived. Although the confe rence was five days long, it w", + "as that\none day that was critical to him, and he truly cut me to shreds. He\nhad never encountered such a rude and incompetent consultant. He\nfelt as if I had stuck a knife in his back. Obviously , thi", + "s was a\ncompletely unreasonable reaction, especially considering that we\nhad agreed not to use our mobile phones during work sessions. But\nit didn’t matter—this guy still thought that I had wronged hi", + "m wholly\nand entirely , and he punished me the only way he could: through\ntotal passivity . I phoned him afterwards and confronted him about it.\nHe admitted that it was juvenile behavior and apologize", + "d.\nConclusion: If you have a comment to make about a Green’ s\nbehavior , make sure you’re careful about how you present it. For\nexample, if it involves criticism , you should deliver it in private. M", + "ake\nsure that the person you are talking to understands that you still like\nhim, but that you believe that he and the group (work team, sports\nteam, family , association) will function better if he ch", + "ang es certain\nthings. Don’t ask him what he can do about the behavior; just ask\nhim to do certain specific things. It may be that he knows what to do,\nbut as usual, he will not lead the conversation—", + "you’ll need to do\nthat.\n“ I t W a s B e t t e r B e f o r e . M u c h B e t t e r . ”\nWhen I’m talking about change, one of my favorite exercis es is to\nask everyone in the group who is afraid of", + " change to stand up.\nOccasionally someone will stand up, but it’s more common that no\none moves.\nWhy? Because we all understand that change is inevitable and\nnecessary if we’re going to keep up with t", + "he world. Some people can\nadmit that they dislike change, but this observation is only at an\nintellectual level. And so we all sit quietly in our seats prete nding that\nthere are no opponents to chang", + "e to be found here. And besides, no\none else is standing up.\nAfter that, my second question is, “Who thinks that someone else\nin the group is afraid of change?” Suddenly the whole group stands\nup, and", + " they look around quite amused. So who doesn’t like\nchange? Answer: “Everyone else. And because those other people\nare the problem, I don’t need to do anything at all.”\nThe issue is widespread. The ma", + "jority of the population has\nGreen as its dominant quality . This is the main reason why we can’t\naccept change with open arms. Everything new is evil, and it should\nbe strongly discouraged.\nRapid cha", + "nge is the most difficult to accept. The faster it is, the\nworse it is. So the faster the wheels of society spin, the more frantic\nall those oppo nents of change become. We see this all the time in\nne", + "w reports. Yellows and Reds devise constant change, Greens and\nBlues, who are in the majority , try to keep up. And the stress just\nincreases.\nConclusion: If you want Greens to accept change, you’ll ", + "have to\nequip yourself with a good dollop of patience. Break down the\nprocess into small pieces and set aside a few weeks to persuade,\nwin over, and spell out the particulars. You must describe the\npr", + "ocess in detail, and since no one is going to take any notes, you’ll\nhave to go through it again, and again, and again until the message\ngets home.\nThe group must get the chan ce to feel its way to th", + "e only possible\nsolution—change. Once that feeling has developed, you’re home\nfree. But the road is long and complicated. You need to know exactly\nwhere you’re heading, and you need to remind yourself", + " constantly\nwhy you are going through all this trouble. If you are Red, every day\nyou’ll be seized by the urge to simply force your opinion on the\ngroup, but I hardly need to explain that you might as", + " well shut the\ncompany down if you do that. It would spare everyone involved a\ngreat deal of time and suf fering.\nS o m e o n e N e e d s t o T a k e t h e H e l m I f W e A r e n ’ t G o i n", + " g t o S i n k t o t h e B o t t o m\nLet’s be honest—isolated from everything else Green behavior is\nnot a distinct leadership quality . Especially because oftentimes\nleadership is all about chan", + "g e. Fortunately , this doesn’t mean that\nthere are no good Green bosses—there are many of them out there\n—but they don’t grow on trees. They won’t step forward in the same\nway as Reds and Y ellows do", + ".\nIt’s convenient not to have to take responsibility . I think all of us\nhave a certain degree of laziness in us. It’s liberating not to have to\nthink, to avoid having to decide and just be a passenge", + "r . Of course,\nit varies depending on the circumstances, but Greens have\ndeveloped this laziness into an art form. They don’t want any\nresponsibility because a) it can lead to conflict if someone does", + "n’t\nagree with a decision or b) there may be lots of extra work and that’s\nnever good. And so they dodge it, for as long as possible.\nResponsibility is burdensome, requiring inner strength as well as\n", + "an external drive to assume it. But at the same time, it’s a measure\nof maturity , and it begins with taking responsibility for yourself and\nyour own life. Greens (and some other colors on occasion) h", + "ave a\ntendency to blame everything and everyone but themselves. I knew\na woman who had an entire list of things she could blame if\nsomething didn’t go her way. She blamed the government, the\noppositi", + "on, taxation, her employer , the state of the market, her\neducation, her parents, her husband, and her children. Sometimes it\nwas the weather ’s fault. She blamed everything and everyone\nexcept hersel", + "f.\nWhat did she gain from this? She didn’t have to take any\nresponsibility herself. Because there was always some other factor\nthat was respo nsible for this and that, she never had to tackle her\nown ", + "problems and really change anything. I remember that I asked\nher to explain how it was possible that she was also not on her own\nlist, but I suspect that she didn’t understand the question.\nGiven the ", + "monumental passivity a Green perso n can\ndemonstrate, we immediately end up with problems. If someone\ndoesn’t row the boat or take the helm, no amount of prayer will ever\nhelp. And Greens will rema in", + " seated, waiting for help. (Usually ,\nsomeone comes and helps out; so, despite everything, they survive.)\nConclusion: If you want to make headw ay with a large group of\nGreens, you have to take comma", + "nd, get a firm hold on the steering\nwheel, and, in some cases, simply get into the driver ’s seat yourself.\nAsking a group of Greens to solve a task is as much use as trying to\nput a brake on a canoe.", + " They won’t get started unless you put them\non the track.\nA dogg one-I-thought-they-we re-adults approach will not work.\nSure, they’re adults, but they’ re children when it comes to such basic\nthings ", + "like making decisions. This is because once upon a time they\nmade a decisio n not to make any decisions. So someone has to put\nhis foot down and just decide.\nDo it and do it now . But at the same tim", + "e, do it gently .…\nAdapting to Blue Behavior\nW h a t a B l u e E x p e c t s o f Y o u\nI T ’ S B E S T T O T H I N K E V E R Y T H I N G A L L T H E W A Y T H R O U G H F R O M T H E\nB ", + "E G I N N I N G\nA Blue prepares meticulous ly. If you’ve planned to meet at a\ncertain place at a certain time, you can rest assured that he’ll be\nthere. A Blue will have gone through all the material,", + " analyzed\neverything down to the smallest detail, and he’ll be prepared to\ndiscuss just about anything on the topic. He will have an alternative\nplan and a contingency plan for that as well.\nH E ’ S ", + "T H O U G H T O F E V E R Y T H I N G , S O Y O U S H O U L D , T O O\nBeing Blue is a little like doing military service: No excuses will be\nallowed. If you get a flat tire, you should be prepar", + "ed for it. If there’ s\na punct ure in the spare tire, you must have a plan for that, too. A\nBlue will have some critical questions if you say something like\n“That’ s just the way it is.” The next time", + " you meet him, his\nconfidence in you will be tarnished.\nConclusion: Make sure you can show that you’ve done your\nhomework and are well prepared. For example, when a Blue\ncustomer or policy maker has ", + "a question you should be able to pull\nout that exact folder from your briefcase. Don’t make a big deal out\nof knowing the answer . He expected nothing less.\nAnd—most important—if you don’t have the an", + "swer , just say so.\nAcknowledge that you don’t know . Don’t offer any excuse just to get\nout of the situation. When the Blue discovers the white lie—and he\nwill—you will fall out of favor . It’s not i", + "deal to have to come back with\nthe answer the next day , but it’ s definitely preferable to telling a fib.\nA car salesman I know usually says that when he meets Blue\ncustomers he knows from the outset", + " that the customer is more\ninformed about a particu lar model of car than he, since as a seller he\nmight have fifty models to keep track of. Blue customers don’t ask\nquestions to find things out; they", + " ask to confirm what they already\nknow . So the car salesman doesn’t even try to pretend anymore. If\nhe does n’t know the answer , he acknowledges it and then finds out.\nIt’s the only way to win a Blu", + "e customer ’s confidence.\nW E ’ R E N O T H E R E T O H A N G O U T A N D B E C O Z Y\nThis is a given if we’re referri ng to a working relationship. Stick to\nthe job. Make sure to stay focused", + " on the task at hand. A Blue is not\nat all interested in your personal preferences or what you think about\nhis choice of car, house, sport, or anything else that is not related to\nwork. He’ s there to", + " work. Period.\nI remem ber once that after about five or six meetings with a\npersonnel manager in a big company I thought I had gotten to know\nhim. We had passed the stage of shaking hands every time", + ", and by\nnow he knew how I preferred my coffee. At the seventh visit it\noccurred to me to ask him what he planned to do over the holidays. I\ndon’t know what came over me. At first his look became vaca", + "nt and\nthen his anxiou s eyes began to wander all over the room. I ended up\nsaying some nonsense to cover up my mistake. I hadn’t told him\nwhat I had done on my holidays, either . About four visits la", + "ter, he\ninformed me gently that he planned to go to Thailand over the new\nyear with his family .\nThat was the opening.\nConclusion: Stick to the task. Work with checklists where factual\nmatters are no", + "ted—things you can tick off together with the Blue. If\nyou’re Yellow , put a part of your spontaneity aside. For that matter ,\nput away as much spontaneity as you can. Force yourself to do one\nthing a", + "t a time. Remind yourself that a Blue will rarely or never ask\nhow things are going or show interest in your personal problems.\nDon’t ask how things are going for him on a personal level, either .\nThe", + " word itself would be his answer: “Personal. This is private. Stay\noff.” In time he will open up if he wants to. It’s not that he doesn’t like\nyou; he just wants to work first. Accept this and it will", + " go well.\nN O V I S I O N N E C E S S A R Y . L E T ’ S A L L S T A Y I N T H E R E A L W O R L D , T H A N K\nY O U V E R Y M U C H .\nYour Blue friends aren’t flying around up there in the", + " blue, blue\nsky. They’re on the ground using their critical minds to judge whether\nthings are realistic or not. While you may think they’re boring,\nsuspicious, or downright pessimistic, they believe t", + "hat they’re only\nrealists. They want to know what reality looks like, not what the world\nlooks like if you’re a dreamer or a visionary .\nI remember once when I was working in the banking world we\nwere", + " having a kickof f event and I wanted to inspire my team to do\ngreat things, the likes of which had never before been seen. I\nfinished my rousing speech by exclaiming, “Soon we will stand on\ntop of th", + "e peak of success and look down on the market we’ve\nconquered. We, all of us, will be atop that mountain!” While both\nYellow and Red and, to a certain extent, Green employe es smiled\nand were hype d u", + "p, the Blues only said one thing: “We can’t imagine\nourselves up there. How did we get up there?”\nThe Y ellows shouted, “Don’t you have any vision?”\nAnd the Blues replied, “W e have Excel.”\nIf a plan", + " seems crazy , a Blue will never have any confidence in it.\nThere’ s no point in playing on his feelings or trying to prom ote ideas\nthat are way too wild. What you say needs to have realistic\nperspe", + "ctives; otherwise, you won’t get anywhere.\nConclusion: Think through what you want to say and what you\nwant to convince a Blue to believe. Put daydreams and visions\naside. It may even be worth rethi", + "nking the kind of language you will\nuse to talk about your plan. Skip all those inspirational speeches that\nYellows and Reds adore. Stick to the facts, and be clear .\nIf you have an idea that hasn’t b", + "een tested before, try to set\nreasonable goals. Don’t say that you will dominate the market within\nthree months or that the Little League team will win the\nchampionship despite having lost all of thei", + "r matches so far. They’ll\nonly consider you a lunatic. If you have Yellow in your own profile,\nyou should really think twice about how you interact with Blues.\nYou’re already fighting an uphill battle", + " as far as a Blue is concerned.\nAnd be careful to avoid any overly dramatic body language.\nD E T A I L S : F A C T S A R E T H E O N L Y T H I N G S T H A T M A T T E R\nDetails are essential to", + " communicating with a Blue. If you really\nwant to get through to them, you must make sure to be very exact.\nCarelessness or ignoring the details won’t be appreciated.\nMore than one seller has been tu", + "rned out of a sales visit due to\nnegligence—for failing to know the nitty-gritty details. And remember\nthat it’s not a question of whether the details are crucial for a\nparticular decision or not. The", + "y may have no real bearing on the\nissue at all. But a Blue decision maker simply wants to know .\nHe also wants to know exactly . If you’re asked how much a\nparticular product costs, don’t say, “About ", + "ten dollars.” Say, “Nine\ndollars and seventy-three cents.” It’s a precise answer . A Blue is\nmore intereste d in an exact price than a low price. He may very well\nnegotiate, but he wants to know the p", + "recise cost.\nConclusion: Prepa re yourself well. When you think you’re\nprepared and that you know all there is to know about an issue, go\nthrough it all one more time. Make sure you have answers to\na", + "bsolutely everything. Accept that this person might want to have\nmore data to feel secure. Give him the details he needs in order to\nmove on. He’ll always wonder if there’ s any more information. But\n", + "this way , you can keep him calm and, you hope, content.\nT H E R E ’ S N O S U B S T I T U T E F O R Q U A L I T Y\nQuality is what drives a Blue. Everything else is secondary .\nEverything else he ", + "focuses on stems from a deeply rooted desire\nthat everything must be perfect. A Blue is discontented if he’s not\nallowed to perform his work to an exacting standard. It has nothing to\ndo with what qu", + "ality of work is actually needed. It’s simply due to his\nbelief that things must always be done the proper way .\nThis, of course, takes a huge amount of time. But the advantage\nis obvious—if you do i", + "t right from the beginning, you will avoid having\nto redo it. This is actually a great way of saving time. But since a\nBlue does not think in terms of hours, days, or even weeks—but\nrather in months a", + "nd years—he doesn’t see the potential downside\nof his exacting standards. If a thing is worth doing, it’s worth doing\nright—and that takes time. It’ s as simple as that.\nConclusion: Be particularly ", + " meticulous in your work when trying to\nimpress a Blue; otherwise, he will view you as sloppy and careless.\nYou should be on your guard about expressing yourself using\nnegative terms concerning how th", + "e Blue spends too much time just\non quality . Use words like “careful control,” “properly inspected,” “the\nimportance of quality .” Avoid criticizing Blues for taking too much\ntime or fussing over de", + "tails that may be unnecessary . Instead, praise\nthem for their attention to detail and the superior work they do. Let\nthe Blue understand that you are doing quality work and that you\nunderstand its va", + "lue.\nThis means that you should prepare very carefully before any\nmeetings with a Blue. He judges you by the merit of the work you\ncreate. Not by how funny you are, not by who you know , not by\nwhethe", + "r or not you invite him to fancy lunches. None of this means\nanything if you are careless. When you are finished with a task—\ndouble-check it. If possible—triple-check. Have someone else look at\nit. O", + "nly then should you show it to your Blue colleague.\nHow to Behave When You Meet a Blue\nJust agreeing to a Blue’ s initiative would be like driving a car with the\nparking brake on. Your task is most li", + "kely to get things moving, but\nyou can’t just hit the gas. Instead, you need to find the right lever to\npull and take of f the Blue parking brake.\nA Blue has feelings like everyone else, and he apprec", + "iates\npeople. It just looks a little different. Because most of a Blue’ s\nemotions are self-contained, he may seem a little cold. No facial\nexpressions to speak of, no gestures, no emotional expressi", + "ons at\nall. Blues often don’t seem interested in other people and simply\nfocus on the issue at hand.\nIf we’re sitting in an accounting firm or if we’re trying to solve an\nimportant problem in the comp", + "any , then this is a good approach. But\nevery time other people, especially Yellows or Greens, are involved,\na Blue’ s tendency to dissociate from others can be problematic. He\nsimply doesn’t realize ", + "that other people don’t function in the same\nway. People want to feel like they can relate to this person. They\ndon’t want to feel like robots.\nConclusion: Remind him that other people have feelings.", + " Give\nexamples of times when he bruised other people’ s feelings—like\nwhen he pointed out all the flaws in the neighbor ’s new house.\nExplain that he doesn’t need to express himself critically all the", + " time.\nShow him that people can take great offense when others criticize\ntheir home, car, spouse, or children. Be clear and tell him that being\nhonest isn’t an excuse for being callous and remind him ", + "that it isn’t\nas simp le as “saying things as they are.” He didn’t say things as they\nare. He only said what he thought or believed about a certain thing.\nPoint out that constant criticism rarely acco", + "mplishes anything.\nThis won’t be an easy task, because he will think that you are wrong.\nHe has every right to criticize and point out errors and flaws. If he\nsees an error, he can’t just ignore it. Y", + "ou might just have to tell him\nthat he’ s being impossible.\nT h e D e v i l ’ s i n t h e D e t a i l s\nHave you ever listened to a Blue tell an interesting story? Let’s\nsay he got a flat on the ", + "highw ay. He’ll begin by saying that his alarm\nclock, a Sony , rang a minute earlier because it was Thursday and on\nThursdays he gargles a little longer with Listerine—the green kind,\nsince a taste te", + "st done by Consumers Union, the largest\nindependent consumer-testing organization in the world, in their\nbulletin issued last March clearly demonstrated that it’s preferable.\nBreakfast consisted of tw", + "o seven-minute eggs and coffee.\nNespresso has a new roast, but he didn’t enjoy it. At least 9 percent\nof the beans were damaged, which made him reflect on how bean\nstructure affects the mouthfe el of ", + "the coffee. Then he fetched the\nnewspaper The New York Times, since they had made a special\noffer, 18 percent discount for three months. At the post office he\nspoke to his neighbor—who also reads The", + " New York Times —about\nthe best way to take care of the lawn in September . “There’ s an\ninteresting website that discusses different types of autumn fertilizer ,\nvery fascinating.…”\nR o m e W a s n ", + "’ t B u i l t i n a D a y !\nHaste is only for sloppy peop le. We can tell Blues to hurry up, but\nit goes in one ear and out the other . Speed isn’t an end in itself.\nOftentimes, Blues slow down e", + "ven more when they’re feeling stress,\nsince in a high-stakes situation you really don’t have time to make\nmistakes. Better to be careful to avoid time-consuming fixes.\nThis may be true, but someti mes", + " things are urgent, particularly in\nour fast-paced society—hurry to work, hurry at work, hurry home\nfrom the same job. Hurry in school, in traffic, in the supe rmarket—\neverywhere, everything is urgen", + "t. I don’t encourage any form of\nbehavior that may lead to stress-related illnesses. But sometimes\nyou have to speed up in order to stay in the race. Outwardly , the\nBlue is quite unmoved. He works at", + " his own pace withou t worrying\nthat those around him may burn out from their more hectic pace.\nThey actually have themselves to blame.\nConclusion : Calmly and methodically tell the Blue that next wee", + "k\nhe’ll need to work at a faste r pace. Explain exactly why this is so\nimportant. Establish that you have only forty-eight hours left to\ncomplete the project. This time is precious and must be used\nco", + "rrectly . Point to the big picture. Give him valid reasons he should\ngo against his instincts.\nYou can readily prove your point by highlighting the long-term\nplan: “We must stay on track or we’ll mis", + "s our next deadline.” If, for\nexample, you’re talking about renovating your house, it might be\nhelpful to negotiate in advance when everything will be ready. If the\nin-laws are arriving in four weeks,", + " then the house must be done by\nthen no matter what. Calculate how many hours can be devoted to\nthe renovations. Decide which activities should be given priority .\nMake sure the Blue sticks to his sch", + "edule and keeps moving forward\nonce he’s completed each task. Otherwise, the risk is that he will\nspend five hours polishing the finer details—time that he doesn’t\nhave.\nIf you have all the time in th", + "e world, well, that’ s another matter .\n“ I f I t ’ s i n t h e B o o k , I t M u s t B e T r u e ”\n“Can’t we go by our gut feelings?” T ry saying that to a strictly Blue\nindividual and see wh", + "at happens. Gut feeling is the opposite of\nrational thought, and nothing could be more foreign to the Blue.\nWait a minute: Does this mean that you should never use your\nown intuition if you’re workin", + "g with Blues? Even Blue individuals\nhave what we call a sixth sense or “nose” for what can be right. The\ndifference is that they don’t trust it because it can, of course, be\nwrong. The problem is that", + " it’s impossible to prove anythin g with the\nhelp of gut feeling. The only thing that counts is the facts. And even\nthe facts might not be enoug h—there may be more information out\nthere that would ch", + "ange everything!\nConclusion: Tell your Blue friend that if he has to make a decision\nwithout all the facts, he can follow his gut. This can apply to work or\nordering at a new restaurant . Speak clear", + "ly and loudly to the Blue,\nand explain that if he doesn ’t make a decision he’ll end up going\nhungry . Prove that it’s better to do something rather than remaining\nparalyzed, waiting for more informat", + "ion.\nPoint out that that it’s logical to use intuition in this situation\nbecause you don’t have all of the facts. Explain that the results will\nstill be good— maybe just 95.3 percent of what they coul", + "d be but still\ngood. Help him to calculate risk but also to move on.\nD e c i s i o n s M a d e H e r e\nBecause the Blue experiences the decision itself as less\nimportant than the path to the decisi", + "on, stagnation can occur . After\npainstakingly collecting facts and meticulously studying all available\nconditions, you finally come to the moment of truth—the decision.\nThere is a risk that everythin", + "g can deadlock. On the one hand … but\non the other hand …\nA project manager I met a few years ago wanted to buy a new\ncar. For eight months he test-drove sixteen different makes. Over\nfifty different ", + "models in different combinations: different engines,\nbodies, transm issions, interio rs, colors. He tried everything. Fabric\nversus leather upholstery . Gas versus diesel. Automa tic versus\nmanual. H", + "e did calculations on fuel consumption and depreciation\nand gave different graphs to respective car salesm en for an\nevaluation. After considerable internal torment, he bought a Volvo\nV70, then the co", + "untry’ s most popular car, in metallic silver, the most\npopular color at that time. This particular model was the most tested\ncar of all by the various consumer agencies that year. You would\nthink he", + " could have picked that car just by reading about it.\n“Why did you go and buy the most common, boring car after all\nthat research?” everyone asked. “Why not?” he replied.\nYou can help with a Blue’ s d", + "ecision stagnation. Provide him with\nthe crucial piece to the puzz le. Softly and gently , try to steer him in\nthe right direction or , in any case, in a direction.\nConclusion: Pay attention to when ", + "the decision process stalls out.\nSuppose, for example, two equally strong candidates have applied\nfor an opening at your company . So far, everything has gone well.\nThe Blue decision maker has submitt", + "ed detailed information via\nemail and kept everyone informed about the necessary steps. The\nprocess has been followed to the letter .\nIn order to get something to happen, provide the decision maker\nwi", + "th the necessary data required for him to make a decision about\none of the candidates. Push him to make a choice. Remind him that\nthe deadline is approaching. Point out the repercussions of delaying\nt", + "he decision— the quality of the company’ s work will suffer if he\ndoesn’t hire a new employee. Explain that everything has been\nproperly considered and that, regardless of which candidate he\nchooses, ", + "all the risks have been eliminated.\nIn Conclusion\nNow you have some basic information about how you can interact\nwith the different colors so that you can get to where you want to go.\nThe first step i", + "s to try to tune into the frequency of other s and then\nadapt to them. In this way, you gain their trust and they are able to\nrecognize themselves in you.\nSo the basic rule is to meet a Red with Red ", + "behavior , Yellow with\nYellow , Green with Green, and finally Blue with Blue. You may think\nthat it sounds simple. The difficulty comes, for example, if you are\nYellow and must adapt to a Blue. You mi", + "ght need more training here.\nIt depen ds on what color you are, how strong your self-awareness is,\nand how willing you are to make headway with a specific contact in\nyour everyday life. You can alwa", + "ys do what Adam did—you can\ncontinue being yourself.\nThe next step will be to start leading the person away from\ncommon pitfalls. As you have seen, each color has its obvious\nweaknesses. Here a Blue c", + "an help a Yellow become more concrete\nand the Yellow can perhaps persuade the Blue to loosen up and be\na little more spontaneous.\nAt the risk of sounding clichéd—it’ s all about working together ,\nab", + "out meeting one another in the middle. You already knew that, but\nnow you know how to do it.\n1 3\nHow to Deliver Really Bad News\nThe Challenge of Speaking Y our Mind\nWho looks forward to bad news? No o", + "ne. And yet, every now and\nthen, we still need to break some bad news. In the world around us,\nthe unexpected can happen, and sometimes the lot falls to you to\ninform someone about something negative.", + " Reds are the best at\ndelivering news that no one wants to hear. Rather insensitively ,\nthey’ll just come out and say that you’ve been fired, before asking\nyou if you would like milk in your coffee. T", + "ricky? No, not at all. He\nwas just finished with the task at hand.\nBut there’s a difference, of course, between bad news and bad\nnews. It’s one thing to convey a personal criticism and another to tell", + "\nyou that your grandmother has just died. The latter is always difficult,\nand no one will receive that news well. However , the former can be\nfine-tuned and adjusted in a way that makes it easier for ", + "someone to\nreceive.\nFeedback alone is a gigantic topic. It gives many people a\nstomachache just thinking about it, and many people I meet during\nmy leadership programs find this area particularly diff", + "icult. Not only is\nit difficult to give feedback, but it also seems to be difficult to receive\nit. This is really strange, because the latter means just sitting there\nand listening. But anyone who has", + " received some hard criticism and\nleft the room afterwards knows that sometimes you can’t utter a\nword. When delivered badly , it will leave you feeling sick.\nThe solution for many executives I meet s", + "eems be simply\nskipping giving any kind of feedback. We don’t know how to give\neither positive or negative feedback, so we ignore it. I hardly need to\npoint out why this isn’t a good solution.\nThe Do", + "wnside of Just Doing Your Job\nOnce, many years ago, I had a colleague, Micke, who was\nexceptionally good at his job. Of all of us, he was the one who\nalways met his budget targets. He had won every sa", + "les contest and\nwas held in high esteem by customers. Boxes of chocolates and\nbottles of wine would arrive for him from far and wide on a regular\nbasis.\nWhat do you do with a collea gue like that? You", + " make sure that he\nstays. Easier said than done. As his boss, I wanted to show my\nappreciation for all his hard work. So, I called his wife and prepared\neverything. One Friday , just after lunch, I su", + "mmoned the team to the\nconference room. In front of everyone, I pulled Micke up and\nexplained that he was greatly appreciated and that we, as a group,\nwanted to show how happy we were to have him on o", + "ur team. I said\nhe should take the rest of the afternoon off, take his wife out to\ndinner , and go to the cinema, and that I would foot the bill. I gave him\nfifty dollars—yo u understand that this was", + " some years ago—and two\nmovie tickets. The babysitte r was already arranged, so off Micke\nwent. We chee red and applauded a little more, and the whole thing\nbecame a big feel-good moment.\nMicke didn’t", + " say a word. Until afterwards.\nHe took me aside and gave me one of the worst telling-of fs I have\never received. How could I do that to him? Parade him out in front of\nall twenty-seven people, who jus", + "t stood and stared at him! Awful! He\nwas just doing his job. He made me promise never to do anything\nlike that again. He was mad with me for a week.\nMicke was Green. Does this give you any clues?\nFee", + "dback Immunity\nThere are many ways to give feedback, whether positive or negative,\nin the wrong way. Now I am going to share some ways you can\nproperly give feedback. The funny thing is that this appr", + "oach works\njust as well whether the feedback is positive or negative. Some\npeople are immune to the first kind, others to the latter . I’ve chosen\nto focus on negative feedbac k, as this is typically ", + "the most difficult. If\nyou can mana ge to deliver that, then you can probably manage the\npositive.\nThe following advice works just as well for your private life as it\ndoes for work. The only thing you", + " need to know is what color your\ntarget is. So it begins as usual by you analyzing what colors are in\nthe room . Once you’ve done that, you just have to set to work. The\naim is to get the person to li", + "sten to your comments and, ultimately , to\ncreate change . All of the challenges of the previous chapter, about\nhow others may perceive the different colors, can be dealt with if you\njust know how. T", + "he next sections explain just that. Many of the basic\ntechniques in each section are similar no matter what color you’re\ntalking to, but in each case the way you approach the person will\nvary dependin", + "g on who he is and how he’ll receive feedback.\nHow to Give Feedback to a Red—If You Dare\nGood news: You don’t need any great skill to give negative feedback\nto a Red. The only thing you need is a Kev", + "lar vest and fire-resistant\nhair. Because no matter how you do it, the temperature in the room\nwill rise. If you’re prepared for it, there won’t be any major problems.\nBut if a Red doesn’t respond to ", + "what you say, then you have reason\nto worry. Either he’s ignoring you and what you’re saying or he’s\nseriously ill. But the following scenario is the most commo n. So hold\non to your hat.\nD o n ’ t G", + " i f t W r a p T h i n g s\nLet me be very clear here—when you’re conveying criticism to a\nRed, the simplest way to do so is to avoid any form of decorative\nwrapping. It’s enough of a challenge to ev", + "en get through to Reds\nwith your criticism, because a Red always believes that he is right\nand you are wrong.\nMany years ago, I discussed Red behavior with a group of\nsellers, most of who were Yellow ", + ". They understood quite quickly\nwhat Red behavior was, and the Reddest person who came to mind\nat that time was their boss, the sales director . They described him as\nboorish, a bad listener , complet", + "ely insensitive, manipulative,\nunrelenting, often in a foul mood, too much in a hurry , plus a whole\nbunch of other less flattering descriptors. The group was seriously\nconcerned because they suspecte", + "d that he hated his staff. Sure, he\nalso worked very hard, and they respected him for that. But since he\nsometimes asked for ideas and then proceeded to lambast anything\nthat didn’t suit his own agen ", + "da, they never got anywhere. Besides\nthat, he controlled everything they did, in detail, which was probably\nthe reason he worked so hard. The whole situation sounded\ndisturbing, and the sales team wo", + "uld soon fall apart if nothing was\ndone.\nI called the sales director in and explained what the group had\nsaid. He listened with increa sing interest but without showing any\ngreat concern. But his reac", + "tion was interesting. Once I had explained\nto him that his twenty sales reps—the most important resource he\nhad to reach his personal goals—thought that he was an insensitive\nand aggressive son of a b", + "itch, he replied, “This is just a handful of\nanecdotes. It’s not about me. It’s their incompetence that’s the\nproblem. If they just worked harder and did a better job, I wouldn’t\nhave to push them so ", + "hard.”\nWhen I explained that his impatience was stressing the group and\nmade the sales reps insecure in their work, he replied that it wasn’t\nhis fault. Impatience wasn’t a weakness—it was a strength", + ", for\nPete’ s sake! If he were to drag his feet the same way everyone else\nwas doing in this company , nothing would get done. If they just\nbothered to increase their pace a little bit, then he could ", + "calm down\nand not be so aggressive. But the problem wasn’t really him—it was\nthem.\nG i v e V e r y C o n c r e t e E x a m p l e s\nAs is often the case with Reds, everyone else was the real cause\no", + "f the problem. Although Reds are efficient at getting things done,\nthey can also be quick to appoint scapegoats. Remember the\ncompetitive element that constantly lies in wait beneath the surface.\nMy w", + "ay of getting through to this man was to break the whole thing\ndown into tiny pieces and point to specific examples.\nFor instance, I explained that when he, at nine o’clock on a Friday\nnight, called u", + "p a seller to grill him about a particular customer , he\nruined the poor man’ s weekend. There was no point in saying that\nthe sales rep was a nervous wreck or that he could n’t sleep,\nbecause this bo", + "ss would just have ignored it. He wasn’t responsible\nfor how people felt. However , I was able to point out that the sales\nrep would come back to work on Monday morning completely\nexhausted by the men", + "tal effort. And then he wouldn’t be able to do\nhis job to the best of his ability. Nothing would be sold that day. By\ncoaching the sales director to give clear answers, I got him to see\nthat he would ", + "have problems if his sales team wasn ’t able to\nperform. Suddenly he had a reason to rethink.\nS t i c k t o t h e F a c t s\nAnother trick to keep in mind : A Red is not that interested in the\nfeeli", + "ngs of others or what people think. He prefers to focus on facts\nand likes to fix things. He sees himself as an excellent problem\nsolver . I delivered my criticism by placing the boss in the position", + " of\nthe key, the only key to the team’ s success. Basically , it appealed to\nhis ego. He saw himself as the great leader whose ability to lead the\ngroup was the critical factor in creating total domin", + "ance in the\nindustry .\nB e P r e p a r e d f o r W a r\nSo, step by step, example after example, situation to situation, I\nwent through the sales team’ s perceptions of him. The sales director\nprote", + "sted each time and, without exception, argued strongly against\nany hint of personal criticism. The only thing he did was his job. For\nevery example I gave, I had to repeat the same thing —it didn’t\nma", + "tter what he thought; as long as this was what the sales reps\nthought, he had a problem. He swore and fussed and accused me of\nincompetence. He would never hire me again. No one would ever\nhire me aga", + "in after the uncalled-for attack I had subjecte d him to. I\nwas finished in the industry .\nI refused to play along with his ranting and raving. I leane d back\nin my chair and waited for the storm to a", + "bate. The wors t thing you\ncan do in such a situation is play along with the theatrics and start\nyelling and pounding your fist on the table. The Red’s natural instinct\nto win any given situation will", + " then take over completely . He won’t be\nable to think long term and will become focused on winning right\nnow. He’ll ignore the fact that we’re working together and that we’re\ngoing to meet again tomo", + "rrow . He’s out to win in this moment, even\nif it costs him a relations hip. He ignores the consequences,\naggression takes over , and the real battle begins.\nBut if you refus e to play along , you can", + " manage Reds’ anger. So I\nremained seated, and when he finally calmed down I simply\ncontinued to the next point, without saying a single word to indicate\nthat I had been influenced by his ranting an", + "d raving. Step by step, I\ngot him to see the impact of his conduct on the group. And little by\nlittle, he began to realize that he had to learn to control himself when\nthings didn’t go his way at work", + ". He needed to take it easier on other\npeople, to avoid placing unreasonable demands on others, and on\nhimself, and to wait for dead lines instead of demanding delivery a\nweek early , just because he", + " was bored.\nA s k t h e P e r s o n t o R e p e a t W h a t Y o u S a i d\nSeen from the outside, this whole incident probably looks like a\nviolent quarrel, but I knew that I could make real pro", + "gress if I didn’t\nlet up. So I did what I recommend everyone trying to give negative\nfeedback to a Red should do—asked the Red to repeat what we’d\nboth just agreed on.\nSo this sales director had to ob", + "ediently explain how he would act\nin the future, point by point, in certain specific situations . (I had a\nmandate from the CEO to do this, and we both knew it.) And yet\neven though intellectually he ", + "knew that I was right, he couldn’t give\nin. He crossed out one of the less important items on the list, clearly\nshowing that it was a victory for him. Somehow , he still had to win.\nConclusion: Prepa", + "re yourself extremely well and try not to give\nnegative feedback to a Red if you are not feeling strong that day . You\nneed to be full of self-confidence, so choose your opportunity\ncarefully . A Red ", + "is always strong, always full of self-confidence, so\nfor him it doesn ’t matter . He will ride into battle at a moment’ s notice,\nif neces sary. And, prepare yourself for the possibility that he might", + "\ntry to turn the tables. He’ll accuse you of everything under the sun so\nthat he can feel he has the upper hand.\nDon’t fall into his trap.\nHow to Give Feedback to a Yellow—If You Have the\nPatience\nYel", + "lows are great at many things. Among their great attributes is their\nlove of change. Ideally , they’d change things all the time. You would\nthink that accepting feedback can be a way to start changin", + "g the\nthings that need to be improv ed. In particular , negative feedback is a\ngreat way to find out how to raise your performance to a higher level.\nBut this isn’t quite the way it works with Y ellow", + "s.\nIn fact, that isn’t how it work s at all. When it comes to change,\nYellows are certainly in favor of it, but only if they came up with the\nidea themselves. Criticism from the outside isn’t always ", + "well\nreceived.\nJanne, a good friend of mine , is a phenomenal entertainer . There\nisn’t a group he can’t amuse, given enough space. His stories are\nusually fantastic, and during dinner out they come, ", + "a whole\nsuccession of jokes so that he has everyone rolling in the aisles.\nOne joke after the other , and the whole thing is extremely\nentertaining. Janne is truly funny , no doubt about it.\nBut—and i", + "t is a significant but—he dominates everyone else in\nthe room. No one else gets a word in edgeways. If you try, he stops\nand drowns you out, because he doesn’t see you as a partner in a\nconversation b", + "ut rather as his audience. After a while, the laughter\nfalls silent and things start to get uneasy . Those of us who know\nJanne understand that this is due to his desire to constantly demand\ncenter st", + "age, while, for others, it takes more time to see through him.\nAt a dinner party once, it went so far that people started talking\nabout Janne behind his back. I felt bad for him, so I decided to take\n", + "the bull by the horns.\nM a k e a n A g e n d a — F o l l o w I t !\nThe first thing I had to do was prepare myself. Just sitting down\nwith Janne and speaking from the heart about the issue wasn’t go", + "ing\nto work. He would just take over the conversation and lure me off the\ntrack. So I decided to give a few concrete examples. I also wrote\ndown exactly what effects his behavior might have on people.", + " And I\ntried to anticipate all his objections.\nOn one occasion, Janne was helping me in my garden and\nafterwards we were sitting in the yard, sweaty and exhausted, each\nof us with a beer in hand. He h", + "ad just told me about a trip he took to\nSpain and how frightened he was when the boat that was taking\nthem to the tiny island where they were staying almost capsized.\n(His wife had already told me tha", + "t they hadn’t even gone by boat.\nThey had taken a small local plane.) But when he stopped for breath,\nI seized the opportunity .\n“Janne,” I said. “We need to talk about a serious problem. You\ntalk too", + " much. And you make things up. I know that what you just\nsaid isn’t true because I spoke to Lena and she said that you flew to\nthe island. This has to stop or you’re going to end up on bad terms\nwith ", + "people.”\nJanne stared at me as if I had lost my mind. “I don’t talk too\nmuch,” he said, a little bit surprised. “And even if I did, it would be\nbecause I have lots to say. I actually remember a time w", + "hen I—” I\nput up a hand in front of his face and moved it quickly back and forth.\nIt silenced him. I went straight on to the next step.\nG i v e V e r y C o n c r e t e E x a m p l e s\n“At the last ", + "party we had together , you spoke more than fifty\npercent of the time we were sitting at the dinner table. I timed you.\nWe were there for two hours and you held court for more than one of\nthem.”\n“You", + " laughed,” he said, now quite grumpy .\n“At the beginning. But if you’d been more observant, you would\nhave noticed that it was only at the beginning. And afterwards I\nheard several people commenting o", + "n your need to take center stage\nin rather a negative way .”\nThis made Janne really indignant. “What ungrateful people! There\nI was, entertaining people, and what do I get for it? Sheer hostility! A\ns", + "tab in the back!”\n“I’m not evalua ting what they said,” I said, “but I noticed that they\nthought you were talking too much. Do you understand what I\nmean?”\nIt’s incredibly important to get the Yellow ", + "to acknowledge and\naccept the message. If you don’t recognize a problem, you don’t\nhave to solve it. What did Janne do? He nodded morosely . I thought\nthings were going rather well after all.\nThen som", + "ething very strange happened.\nB e A w a r e T h a t H i s E a r s M i g h t N o t B e C o n n e c t e d t o H i s B r a i n\n“I under stand that you were bored,” he said. “You’re right. I’ve", + " told\nsome of those old stories way too many times. I need to stop\nrepeating myself.”\nI shook my head in despair . He had totally missed the point.\nI said, “There’ s nothing wrong with your stories. Y", + "ou just need to\ncut down on the number of them. Take every third one. Skip two out\nof three. The problem is that you talk too much, not that you repeat\nyourself. You have to let the other seven people", + " around the table\nspeak.”\nBut he wasn’t listening; he began telling me a new story just to\ncheck if I had heard it before. I had to repeat the whole thing.\nE x p l a i n T h a t Y o u D o n ’ t D ", + "i s l i k e H i m — O n l y H i s B e h a v i o r\nCriticizing a Yellow is difficult because they take things personally .\nIf everything isn’t ice cream and sprinkles all the time, then there\nmust ", + "be a problem somewhere. They think you’ve sudden ly become\nenemies. And Janne reacted in the same way. He physically moved\nseveral inches back away from me, a clear signal that he was upset.\nSo I di", + "d what you do with little children: I explained that he was still\nmy friend—probably my best friend—and I thought he was really\nfunny . The only thing I wanted was for him to bury the blabber a little", + "\nbit. He’d just gone overboard a bit. I told him at least ten times that I\nliked him very much.\nUnfortunately , he’s a frightfully bad listener , so I had to remind\nhim of all the fun things we had do", + "ne together and that I cared\ntremendously about him. I flattered him and congratulated him on his\nchoice of a new car . I simply manipulated him. A little bit at a time, he\nbegan to thaw , and his bod", + "y language became less defensive.\nP r e p a r e Y o u r s e l f f o r a S t r o n g D e f e n s e M e c h a n i s m , E s p e c i a l l y t h e M a r t y r\nC o m p l e x\nBut even that wasn’t ", + "enough. Janne came back with comments\nlike: “Nobody likes me,” “Everybody else is much more entertaining,”\n“I thought you thought that I was funny .” This was in addition to all\nthe usual defense mech", + "anism s, of course: He was only keeping the\nparty going. It was everyone else who was quiet and boring. What\nwas entertaining about an introverted wallflower? And talking too\nmuch—how was that a probl", + "em? On the contrary , it was actually a\nvery nice quality . I pointed out that his performances left no room for\nothers to speak or participate.\nA concrete example: At the latest dinner , Janne’ s wif", + "e, Lena, was\nasked a question on five different occasions and every time it was\nJanne who answered. In the end, it was almost ridiculous. Everyone\nnoticed this except Janne. Lena stopped talking compl", + "etely .\n“But she took so long in answering! And I knew the answ er!” He\nunderstood nothing. Or he chose to deliberately be slow on the\nuptake.\nA s k t h e P e r s o n t o R e p e a t W h a t Y o", + " u ’ v e A g r e e d T o a n d F o l l o w U p A s S o o n A s\nY o u C a n\nThis is easier said than done. Both times we met right after our\nconversation, he was on the alert. At one point he ", + "remained silent\nduring the entire party . Sure, it was a childish way to point out his\nmisery , and it was clearly obvious that he was about to burst with\nfrustration. Not allowing him to talk was lik", + "e denying him oxygen.\nAnd what irritated him most of all was that no one around the table\nasked why he wasn’t saying anything. Couldn’t they see that he was\nputting on this show for their sake?\nWhat h", + "appened was that his wife began speaking more, and\npeople really enjoyed her conversation because she was so\npleasant.\nAfter a while, Janne went back to his usual self. It was the easiest\nway. He saw ", + "no direct benefit from keeping quiet. And Lena fell silent\nagain. In Janne’ s case, I valued our friendship more than trying to\nchange his behavior . I never took up the issue again, but sometimes\nI t", + "ake Janne breaks. I simply need to have a good rest from him. If\nhe had been a coworker instead of a friend, I would have followed up\nseveral times to ensure he really made a change.\nConclusion: Desp", + "ite their flexibility and creativity , Yellows are\nactually the most difficult to change. They don’t listen and only\nimplement changes that they themselves have thought of. What you\nneed to do is mass", + "age their egos as much as you can bear and put\nwords into their mouths.\nIt’s worth remembering that their short memories also apply to\nhard feelings. Although they feel awful when criticized, they soo", + "n\nforget. They simply repress everything that is difficult or unpleasant.\nSo if you can just cope with the groans and the moans and maybe a\nfew tears in between, you can continue towards your goal. Ac", + "hieving\nthat change that will do you both a world of good.\nWith patience and perseverance, you’ll eventually succeed.\nHow to Give Feedback to a Green—but Think Twice\nBefore You Do\nThis is the section ", + "I would rather skip. Why? you may be wondering.\nSimple. Criticizing a Green can be cruel. They will feel bad and will\nsimply withdraw and shut down. In general, they have weaker egos\nand can often be ", + "very self-critical. You don’t want to increase this\nburden even more.\nIt’s important to note that there is a difference between being self-\ncritical and changing and being self-critical and not doing ", + "anything\nabout it. Many Greens roam through life wishing that things were\ndifferent. But they rarely have the drive to do anything about it. So\nthey continue to be dissatisfied. Sometimes I think tha", + "t’s an end in\nitself, not to be satisfied. It’s a way to get some attentio n, to gain\nsome power . I know many Greens who control everything and\neveryone in their families by simply refusing to do any", + "thing\nwhatsoever . Psychologists call this being passive-agg ressive—a\nvery apt expression.\nHowever , if you would like to give feedback to a Green, here are\nsome methods that might work. Just make s", + "ure that you’re really\ncommitted before you get started.\nG i v e C o n c r e t e E x a m p l e s , a n d U s e a G e n t l e A p p r o a c h\nOf course, it’s always good to be concrete. The diff", + "erence here is\nthat a Green actually listens, which both previous colors did not. A\nGreen hears what you’re saying and dislikes what he hears. But you\nhave to be concrete, and you might be able to do ", + "this in the same\nway as with Reds—but in reverse.\nWhile it doesn’t work to tell a Red that you feel bad because of\nhis behavior or that others feel ill at ease because of something he\ndid, that’s prec", + "isely what works best here. A Green is a relational\nperson and doesn’t like to offend. It may seem manipulative, but if a\ncertain form of behavior makes you sad, angry , or just generally\ndejected say", + " that. A Green person will sense your mood, and he’ll\npick up what you are saying if you dare to be honest about it.\nB e G e n t l e , b u t D o n ’ t B a c k p e d a l\nIt is all about clarity aga", + "in. If you have any shred of humanity ,\nyou’ll see how a Green falls apart the more you give him negative\ncriticism. If you say to your partner that his constant habit of sitting in\nfront of the telev", + "ision watching sports such as football makes you\nfeel completely neglected and unloved, you’ll immediately see how\nmuch this news affects him. But then it’s important that you not\nbacktrack on your st", + "atement and say things like “Maybe it’s not that\nbad,” or “I still have some projects I’ve been wanting to work on while\nyou relax.” Dare to be clear , and go straight to the point.\nYou need to convey", + " your message in the right way. Clearly but\nsoftly . A hand on someone’ s shoulder can be enough to send a\nsignal that “we’re still friends, but I have a problem when you do this\nor that.”\nD e a l w ", + "i t h t h e G r e e n ’ s R e s p o n s e “ Y o u ’ r e R i g h t — I ’ m S o S t u p i d ! ”\nTotal appease ment. A Green’ s reaction when you tell him how\nyou feel about his behavior is a var", + "iation on the Yellow’ s martyr\ncomplex. A Green will prostrate himself, accusing himself of being all\nkinds of stupid things. Often there will be comments like “I will never\ndo that again.” Severe co", + "mpliancy is sometimes unavoidable, and\ntears may flow. Greens crush themselves with additional arguments\nabout why they’re useless and stupid. They’ll kneel in your presence\nfor weeks afterwards and t", + "ry to placate you in all kinds of ways that\nhave nothing to do with the issue at hand.\nI heard a story about a man who was told by his wife that she\nreally hated that every single evening he simply ha", + "d to spend a\ncertain amount of time playin g video games (a creature of habit). He\nadmitted that it was childish, unnecessary , and costly . (He spent a\nconsiderable amount of mone y buying upgrades ", + "and features for the\ngames.) He promised to be more attentive to her needs. He\npromised everything and more besides to make up for his dismal\nbehavior . The following six months, he hurried home from ", + "work to do\nthe cooking before she arrived. He bought her flowers once a week,\nand he massaged her feet without her even having to ask.\nVery sweet and very appreciated—except that he didn’t actually\ndo", + " what she asked him to, namely , to stop playing compu ter games.\nHe had avoided accepting that particular detail. After all, he had\nnever promised to stop straightaway .\nB e S u r e t o E x p l a ", + "i n T h a t t h e B e h a v i o r I s t h e P r o b l e m , N o t t h e P e r s o n\nAs with Yellows, dealing with a Green is like dealing with young\nchildren—“Daddy loves you, sweetie, but ca", + "n you please stop eating\nice cream on the sofa?” The risk is that the negative feedback will\ndamage your relationship with the person. But you can easily solve\nthis by quickly coming back to the perso", + "n with good news and\npositive feedba ck. In this case, it’s not enough just to say that you’re\nonly concerned about one problematic issue. You need to show in\naction that you’re not plann ing to assas", + "sinate him. He must be\nreassured by what you do, not just by what you say .\nA s k t h e P e r s o n t o R e p e a t W h a t Y o u H a v e A g r e e d O n — a n d F o l l o w U p !\nI’ve noti", + "ced that Greens don’t always write down what you say to\nthem, so it’s a good idea to check with them to make sure you’ve\nboth interpreted the conversation the same way. If you have a\ncolleague and wou", + "ld like him to be a bit more punctual, make sure\nhe unde rstands that the only issue is his timekeeping. He may very\nwell have gotten the idea that you were actually upset about\nsomething else entirel", + "y .\nWe often assume others will behave the same way we would in\nany given situation. And because Greens can be quite vague when\nthey speak to others and often avoid talking about the real problem,\nthe", + "y frequently get the idea that you’re really talking about something\nelse. They never go straight to the point themselves, so they assume\nyou haven’t, either . So what could you possibly be so unhappy", + "\nabout?\nMake sure you’re both in agreement about what the problem is.\nAnd follow up. We’re talking about changing something and creating\na new pattern of behavior . And, as usual, Greens will try to s", + "olve the\nproblem by doing … nothing.\nMake sure that doesn’t happen!\nConclusion: If you’r e human, which I think you are, you may have\na guilty conscie nce and think that you went at the Green guy way", + " too\nhard. I remember one occasion when I argued with an employee\nbecause, in my opinion, she didn’t do what she was supposed to.\nHer reaction was to comple tely fall apart, and she didn’t come to\nwor", + "k for two days. When we spoke about it afterwards, it turned out\nthat I hadn’t actually asked her to do those specific tasks. I’d just\nassumed that she looked at things the way I did.\nI can admit that", + " at the time I was an inexperienced and ineffective\nboss. I made a classic mistake—I looked at the situation through my\nown glasses and became furious when her glasses showed\nsomething else. And when ", + " I realized this later on, I felt quite\nashamed of myself. She looked so distressed and went out of her\nway to avoid meeting me. For a long time I barely dared to say much\nmore than hello and good-bye", + " to her. She did what Greens are good\nat: She ducked down and did even less work than usual.\nMany Greens have an uncanny sixth sense that tells them when\nit’s time to take things extra easy. But here ", + "it derailed. This woman\ndid virtually nothing at all because she could sense my guilt and\nhesitation. She simply took advantage of my bad conscience to get\naway with it. I lost her completely . In the", + " end, she was laid off\nbecause she didn’t do her job and I was severely criticized by my\nboss because I hadn’t dealt with the issue.\nMake sure that you don’t make the same mistake I did. Don’t let\nthi", + "ngs go too far. Address the problem while there’ s still time. So\nstand up and deliver the negative feedback—even to the friendly\nGreens in your life.\nHow to Give Feedback to a Blue—but First, Just a\n", + "Word of Warning\nBefore you try to give negative feedback to a Blue, for Pete’s sake,\nmake sure you know what you’re talking about. Let me remind you\nthat a Blue knows exactly what he’ s done and he ha", + "s a far better eye\nfor details than you do. So make sure you have your facts ready\nbefore the thought even enters your mind. The section that follows\ndeals with how to deliver feedback, but the bigges", + "t task here\nconsists in finding out the details of what happened before you give\nany feedback.\nIt may be a good idea to check things out with several other\npeople who are involved in the issue and to ", + "document what they say\nand the facts they offer. The Blue will be able to quote everything\nand everyone, and he’ll always have proof that what he did was\ncorrect—after all, that’s why he did it. If it", + " had been wrong, he\nwouldn’t have done it. Make sure you’re armed to the teeth before\nscheduling the meeting.\nP r o v i d e S p e c i f i c , D e t a i l e d E x a m p l e s , P r e f e r a b l y ", + " i n W r i t i n g\nIt’s not good enough coming in with sweeping phrases like “I think\nyou’re working too slowly; can you please speed up?” That’ s way too\ngeneral. It doesn’t matter if you’re right ", + "or not—the phrase “working\ntoo slowly” says virtually nothing. Says who? Slowly in relation to\nwhat?\nWhat you need to do is point to specific accurate and detailed\nexamples. You need to say things lik", + "e “The latest project took\nsixteen and a half hours too long.” Then add up the effects this has\nhad: “We can’t charge the customer for those sixteen and a half\nhours, which means that profitability ha", + "s now fallen by $4,125 (16.5\n× $250 per hour , or whatever you charge).\nThis is a message that a Blue might take into consideration. If you\nwere to present it this way to a Yellow it would never work,", + " but for a\nBlue this is an extremely relevant piece of information. Because it\nrequires detailed feedback, it would be risky if you were just to\npresent it in a conversation. You need to have everythi", + "ng written\ndown. Blues have a certain degree of distrust when it comes to\npeople talking too much; the written word automatically becomes\nmore true in their eyes.\nSo write down what you want to say, b", + "ut double -check\neverything. And why not actually ask someone else to check the\nnumbers before booking your meeting with the Blue slow coach?\nD o N o t G e t T o o P e r s o n a l I f Y o u D o", + " n ’ t K n o w E a c h O t h e r T h a t W e l l\nA Yellow and a Green boss could easily pat a Blue on the\nshoulder and be personal in the run-up to a meeting where they are\nplanning to give some ", + "tough negative feedback. The reason is\nsimple—they know that they would react very negatively themselves\nif some one were just to jump straight into criticism without softening\nthem up first. This is", + " the wors t way to approach a Blue. He’ll just get\nsuspicious and won’t listen the way you want him to.\nThink about how a Red would have done things. He would simply\nhave booked a meeting, sat down, ", + "and shoved the paper with the\nnegative result at the person. (If he had such a paper . If it was about\ngiving feedbac k to a neighbo r about all the leaves that have blown\ninto his garden , he would s", + "imply hand him a garbage bag with all the\nleaves and ask him to count them.) A Red won’t dress things up. He\ngets straight to the point. Usually , he won’t have any problem telling\nyou that your work ", + "isn’t good enough. Having a project drag on is\ninexcusable, and because he hoped that everything would be\nfinished a day earlier and not a day too late he’ s now deeply upset.\nS t i c k t o t h e F", + " a c t s\nIf you want to get through to a Blue, you need to stick to concrete\nfacts. Each time you start feeling guilty about saying negative things\nand start speaking about how appreciated he is, you’", + "ll confuse him.\nHe’ll wonder what you’re really trying to say. He has no ego that\nmust be inflated, and he will see right through your attempts to sugar\ncoat the criticism you really have. So stick to", + " the facts.\nDon’t try the famous sandwich method, used quite extens ively by\nmany managers and leaders . In order to defuse and soften a grave\nmessage (“you ’ve lost too many customers,” “you’ve cost ", + "us money ,”\n“you’ve been rude to Ben in Reception”), you should also say\npositive things (“you’re a valued employee,” “you usually do the right\nthing,” “I like you very much”) before and after the pie", + "ce of criticism.\nThe problem with the sandwich method, commonly known as\n“praise and blame,” is that no one understands your message. What\ndid you really want to say? For a Blue, this will be particul", + "arly\nincomprehensible, because the positive feedback you wrapped your\nmessage up in was relational and perhaps emotional—not\nprofessional. Remember that he’s not there to be your pal, he’s there\nto do", + " a job. Be sure to talk about that.\nFeel free to ask if he has any suggestions for improveme nt. Use\nwords like “quality ,” “evaluate ,” “analyze,” “follow up.” Simply use the\nlanguage he is used to. ", + "Y ou will get through so much more easily .\nB e P r e p a r e d f o r C o u n t e r q u e s t i o n s a t t h e M o l e c u l a r L e v e l\nOf course he won’t buy what you say straightaway . Su", + "rely it’s\nreasonable to give him the chance to ask some questions about\nwhat you’ve said. There’ s a risk that you’ll face a host of\ncounterquestions that will make you feel like you’re the one being\n", + "evaluated.\n“How do you know?” “Who said that?” “How have you calculated\nthis?” “Where does it say that it must be done that way?” “Why can’t\nI find this information on our intranet?” “Why did you wait", + " until now to\ngive me this feedback?” “Can I have a look at the supporting\ndocuments?” Where’ s the contract that regulates our billing?” “Are\nyou sure we can’t add sixteen and a half hours to this bi", + "ll?” “Hasn’t\nthis been done before? I recall a customer four years ago who…”\nYou might not be able to answer all his questions, so you must\nsimply decide how deep you want to go. You can always say, “", + "That’ s\njust the way it is; go back to work now.” But this is the worst thing\nyou can do, at least if you want to keep his confidence. The only\nthing you’ve proven is that you haven’t kept track of th", + "e details.\nA s k t h e P e r s o n t o R e p e a t W h a t Y o u ’ v e S a i d — a n d F o l l o w U p S o o n\nA f t e r w a r d s\nWhen I hold seminars on leadership, the issue of giving fee", + "dback\nis often raised . It’s an extrem ely complicated subject, because we\nallow our emotions to direct us when we give feedback (and receive\nit!). But for Blues I give the same advice as I do for ot", + "her colors: Ask\nyour Blue employee to repeat what you’ve agreed to. He needs to\nduly acknowledge that he has seen and heard the same things you\nhave said.\nIt’s very likely that he’ll be able to repeat", + " everything more or less\nverbatim, but it’s just as likely that he hasn’t taken the message to\nheart if you were vague in your delivery or too fixed on protecting\nyour relationsh ip. He understands th", + "at he should repeat what he\nknows you want to hear him say. But this isn’t the same thing as him\nbelieving your negative feedback was relevant.\nThe example I gave of the overdue project is a treachero", + "us\nhidden trap. Because a project that’s delivered to a customer only\nhas the value the customer believes it to have. Quality is of the\nutmost importance. If we’re careless—according to a Blue’ s\nst", + "andards—we won’t get more orders from that customer . What will\nthe lost revenue cost? So how can you value punctuality as being of\nmore importance than the product itself? At the logical level, a Blu", + "e\ncan make your objections seem nonsensical.\nBut if you know that you’re right (not just that it feels right), follow\nup afterwards to make sure that he’ s back on track.\nConclusion: It’s difficult ", + "to criticize a perfectionist. He already\nknows the best method, and he won’t change his opinion just\nbecause you happen to have a fancier title on your business card.\nSo it’ s all about doing your hom", + "ework very well.\nYou also need to remember that although it may be difficult to get\na Blue to respo nd to feedback, he has no problem criticiz ing others.\nRemember , he sees all the mistakes everyone ", + "else makes and he\nwill likely point out your mistakes when you least expect it. Not\nbecause he’ s being vindictive, but just because you’ve botched up.\n1 4\nWho Gets Along and Why It Works\nGroup Dynami", + "cs at Their Finest\nThe short answer is that a group should consist of all colors to create\nthe best possible dynamic. In a perfect world, we would have an\nequal number of each color . The Yellow comes", + " up with a new idea,\nthe Red makes the decision, the Green has to do all the work, and\nthe Blue evaluates and makes sure that the results are excellent. But\nthis isn’t the case. Not infrequently , we", + " find Yellows in positions\nbetter suited to Reds. Or, in the worst cases, they have been able to\ntalk their way into a job that actually requires Blue behavior . Indeed,\nthere are many examples of peo", + "ple who are sitting in the wrong\nchairs, and part of the expla nation lies in the fact that they lack the\nnatural prerequisites to manage their jobs. Moreover , all this has to\ndo with what driving fo", + "rces different people have. Different people\nare motivated by different things, and it can cause them to move\naway from their core behavior in specific situations. But that’s a\nwhole other topic and n", + "ot something I cover in this book.\nSo how do you put your team together? Look at the picture on the\nfollowing page. Here you can see why certain combinations are\nmore suitable than others. If you’re ", + "recruiting members to your team,\nthis may be a good place to start.\nAs you can see, different colors work differently together . Again,\nthere are plenty of exceptions, but if no one in the group has a", + "ny\nknowledge of their behavior pattern some colors will naturally work\nwell together . For instance, it’s generally easier for two people to\nwork together if they have the same sense of tempo and work", + " at a\nsimilar speed.\nNatural Combinations\nIf we look at the diagram above, we can see that Blue and Green\ncould be a suitable combination, without much of an effort from\neither of them. They would cer", + "tainly recognize themselves in each\nother ’s ability to breathe calmly and to think twice before doing\nsomething. Since both are introverts, each of them feels secure with\nthe other . It’s the same ki", + "nd of energy . Neither of them will build\ncastles in the air, because they prefer to keep both feet on the\nground. They don’t stress but allow themselves to dive deeply into\nthings. Sure, they may fin", + "d it difficult to make decisions, but the\ndecisions that they do make will probably be well thought out.\nSimilarly , Red and Yellow work smoothly together , since they both\nwant to shoot from the hip ", + "and always move forward. Here we also\nhave the same kind of energy , only a different type. Both are\npowerful and outgoing, and because both are verbal, they can easily\nfind the right words. Certainly", + " , they’ll have a different focus in the\nconversation, but the dialogue will still flow. Both set high goals and\nthink quickly . A team of Yellows and Reds will set a fast tempo, and\nwhile they are bo", + "th clear about what they want, they’ll motivate those\naround them to achieve great things. The challenge probably lies in\nthe fact that a Red can perce ive a Yellow as being too talkative, but\nsince n", + "either of them is a world-class listener , they’ll both just switch\noff when it suits them.\nComplementary Combinations\nIt also works to look at the other axis and make pairings based on\neach color’s f", + "ocus. Both Blues and Reds are task oriented. Reds are\ncertainly more interested in the result than in the process itself, and\nBlues are more concerned with the process and tend to ignore the\nresult—b", + "ut they’re at least speaking the same language. Both\ndevote themselves to work and only spend limited time chatting\nabout football or home improvement—except maybe at lunchtime.\nThey would complement ", + "each other in a good way. If we liken this to\na car, a Red is the accelerator , while a Blue is the brake. Both are\nneeded in order to drive successfully . The trick is not to push both\npedals at the ", + "same time.\nSimilarly , there is some logic in placing a Green with a Yellow .\nThe tempo at which they work will be different, but both of them will\nbe curious about each other . Both believe that peop", + "le are interesting\nand important. While one likes to take it easy, the other likes having\nfun. They’ll easily find a similar focus. The Green will allow the\nYellow to take as much space as he wants. O", + "ne talks; the other\nlistens. It can work out well. In addition, Greens are good at calming\ndown the slightly hysterical Yellows, who sometimes have a hard\ntime staying grounded. Of course, there’ s a ", + "risk that they’ll fail to\ndevote sufficient time to the work itself, but they will have a very\ngood time. People around them might feel that they’re only having a\ngood time and not actually delivering", + " anything. As both can find it\ndifficult to say no, it might also be a good idea to avoid entrusting\nthem with too much money .\nChallenging Combinations\nAt the same time, there are two very complicat", + "ed combinations. This\ndoesn’t mean that they won’t be able to work toget her, but it\ndefinitely means that there are obstacles that need to be considered.\nOne possible solution is that both of them be", + "come more self-aware\nin the ways that they work and interact with each other .\nLook at the illustration on the following page.\nThe right column shows the things the person himself sees in his\nprofile.", + " The left column shows how his exact opposite could perceive\nhim in less favorable circum stances. You’ve probably heard that a\nperson is a real bore, only to meet him and discover a very\ninteresting ", + "person with lots of exciting things to say. Who’ s right and\nwho’s wrong? It depends on whom you ask.\nThe problem lies in the interaction between each color and its\nexact opposite. The positive image ", + "expresses how each profile\nexperiences himself. The negative image is an expression of how he\ncan be experienced by others. W e all see dif ferent things.\nGenuine Problems\nIt would be quite a challen", + "ge to put a Red and a Green together\nissues solve a problem. If the task depends on effective cooperation,\nthen issues will quickly arise. In the beginning, the Green is very\npassive, especially when ", + "compared to the Red, who gets going even\nbefore he’s heard the instructions. While the Greens think it’s\nburdensome to have to do their part, the Reds have already started\nin a hurry .\nThe Red will be", + " very critical of the Green’ s constant moaning\nabout the amount of work. At the same time, the Green will think that\nthe Red is an aggressive son of a bitch who never listens.\nNevertheless, under fav", + "orable circumstances it may work out. In\ngeneral, a Green is prepared to cooperate; that’s their strength. They\nfunction well with many other people because they’re more\naccommodating than demanding.", + " So there can be a certain logic in\nsetting a Red with a Green. A Red likes giving orders, and a Green\nis usually okay with receiving orders.\nBased on Marston’ s theories (see page 227), the greatest\n", + "challenge of all is to ask a Yellow and a Blue to work together . If\nneither of them is aware of how their personalities work, there will be\nfriction from the outset. The Yellow dives into the task wi", + "thout the\nslightest idea what to do or how to do it. He doesn’t read any\ninstructions, and he doesn’t listen long enough to find out what the\ntask is actuall y about. He’ll speak at great length about", + " what an\nexciting projec t they’ve been given. In the meantime, the Blue starts\nreading and researching all the material available. He doesn’t say a\nword but just sits there. More or less motionless—h", + "e thinks.\nThe Yellow, on the one hand, will consider him to be the most\nuninspiring bore he has ever met. The Blue, on the other hand, will\nonly be disturbed by the Yellow’ s perpetual verbal barrage.", + " He’ll\nslowly begin to boil beneath the surface because of the incessant\nbuzzing around him. He believes that the Yellow is a frivolous\nwindbag, not deserving any attention whatsoever . And when the\nY", + "ellow finally realizes that he hasn’t won the Blue over to his side,\nhe’ll pull out all the stops and talk even more. In the worst case, he’ll\ntry to charm the Blue, which will end up driving them to", + " disaster .\nThey’ll sit in their own corne rs, with faces like they’ve tasted sour\nmilk, both mad for completely dif ferent reasons.\nSelf-awareness, my friend, is the solution.\nGo Green!\nIt is not eas", + "y to read and interpret everyone. If a person only has one\ncolor , then you won’t have any problems with him once you’ve\nfinished readin g this book. It will be obvious what you should do. A\nperson wh", + "o is only Red or only Yellow is hard to miss. But even the\ngenuine Greens or Blues are quite easy to detect if you know what to\nlook for .\nAs I mentioned earlier , statistically speaking only about 5 ", + "percent\nof the population has just one color that shows in their behavior .\nAround 80 percent have two, and the rest have three. No one has\nfour, not with the tool that I use.\nIt’s also relatively eas", + "y to recognize people who have two colors.\nTwo color combinations normally follow any of the axes. So they are:\nBlue/Red, Red/Y ellow , Yellow/Green, or Green/Blue.\nIt does happen, of course, that pur", + "ely opposite qualities can be\nfound in one and the same person. I’ve met lots of Yellow/Blue\npeople. There is nothing wrong with that; it’s just less common. But\nwhat’ s really unusual is distinctly R", + "ed/Green profiles. Why this is the\ncase I don’t know .\nOn one occasion, I met a woman who was a middle manager\nworking for a company in the car industry . She was determined and\npowerful in her manner", + " , but, at the same time, she was extremely\ncaring. Her care and attention for her employees was genu ine, and it\nhad some strange results. Among other things, she could lose her\ntemper very quickly ", + ". Her telling-of fs were legendary . Once she\nrealized this, however , she would do whatever she needed to soften\nthe effects of her actions and repair the damage. She felt genuinely\nbad for having be", + "en hard on various individuals, but at the same\ntime she couldn’t control herself. This friction betwee n the two\nconflicting colors in her behavior (Red and Green) meant that she\nwas very close to bu", + "rnout.\nPeople with three colors will always be more difficult to interpret.\nIf someone is very difficult to place on the map, it may very well be\nbecause he has three colors. The situation will determ", + "ine what his\nbehavior will be.\nThe best advice I can give if you really can’t analyze the person\nyou meet is to shut your mouth and start listening. Simply act Green\nif you are unsure. People sometime", + "s tells me that they can’t\nunderstand a certain person because he doesn’t do anything. But\neven a person who is very passive exhibits some form of behavior .\nAnd at this stage, you know what color is", + " associated with someone\nwho doesn’t do much—that’ s a common Blue behavior .\n1 5\nWritten Communication\nHow to Evaluate Someone When Y ou Can’t Meet in Person\nMany things are revealed in the way we wr", + "ite. Different colors have\ndistinct writing styles; some take the time to express themselves,\nwhile others keep brief. If you have the chance to read through a\nlonger writing sample that the person i", + "n question has written—a\nreport, a column, a letter , or a letter to the editor—you have lots to go\non. Very often it’s possible to detect a color in the written word. If\nyou’re a person of few words ", + "in speech, you can also be the same in\nyour writing. And vice versa.\nIf the only thing you have is an email, then you have to go on\nwhat you have. Let’s say that you’re replying to a customer ’s\nmessa", + "ge. You want to prepa re yourself properly . You look carefully\nat how his email reads. Is it factual? Is there any kind of personal\ntouch? Is it short and concise , or does it seem to have been writt", + "en a\nlittle spontaneo usly? All of these little details are important signals\nthat you can use to your advantage. As usual, there are plenty of\nexceptions, but there are still patterns to be aware of.", + "\nHere are some examples of what this can look like.\nFrom: kristian.jonsson@teamcommunication.com\nTo: Cina.cinasson@coco.net\nSubject: Meeting\nMeeting tomorrow morning at 11. BE PUNCTUAL!\n-K\nWhat do you", + " think? Is K screaming because he used capital\nletters? It’s not clear . It could be that he just wanted to stress that the\ntime for the meeting is important. Maybe he was rushing out\nsomewhere. It d", + "oesn’t matter to him that the person receiving the\nemail might be put off by the abrupt style and the caps lock. As\nalways, a Red can live with that. Get a grip! He just wanted to be\nclear .\nYour acti", + "on: Reply instantly! Be short and concise. One way\nmight be to simply reply: “Okay .”\nFrom: kristian.jonsson@teamcommunication.com\nTo: Cina.cinasson@coco.net\nSubject: Meeting\nHello, Cina! What’s up? W", + "ere you at the game last night? I saw that Lasse\nwas there. He spilled his drink all over himself, and I thought that I would\nnever stop laughing! Check out the picture I put on Facebook. By the way, ", + "I\nthought that we could sit down and chat about that customer tomorrow\nmorning before lunch if it works for you. Is eleven o’clock okay?\nCiao! Krille\nFrom: kristian.jonsson@teamcommunication.com\nTo: C", + "ina.cinasson@coco.net\nSubject: Meeting\nOh, I forgot to attach the photo. Anyway, here it is.\nKrille\nEven in writing, a Y ellow expresses himself in a very spontaneous\nand easygoing manner . He likes t", + "o share stories and keep things\npersonal. Note the social babble about poor Lasse and his drink. A\ngood laugh that must be highlighted to attract your attention.\nYour reply? There isn’t any need to ru", + "sh, but don’t fail to respond\nor he’ll feel insecure. Be cordial as well. Don’t forget to thank him for\nthe funny picture and mention that you laughed at his story .…\nFrom: kristian.jonsson@teamcommun", + "ication.com\nTo: Cina.cinasson@coco.net\nSubject: Meeting\nI just wanted to remind you about the meeting tomorrow at eleven. Hope it\nstill works for you. I’m going to bring in some homemade cinnamon buns", + " to\nhave with our coffee. Have a good one!\nWith kind regards, Kristian\nA softer, more personal tone. Kristian had probably polished this\nemail appropriately , to make sure there was nothing controvers", + "ial in\nit. Rem inding people about meetings that were booked a long time\npreviously can be perceived as slightly offensive by some people, so\nhere we want to be certain that nothing can be misinterpre", + "ted.\nAnd how do you respond to this pleasant email? Be perso nal and\nbenign in return. Express your thanks. You don’t have to say that it\nwill be great to have some cinnamon buns, but if you do it won", + "’t do\nany harm. Then remember to take it easy and not to stress at the\nmeeting.\nFrom: kristian.jonsson@teamcommunication.com\nTo: Cina.cinasson@coco.net\nSubject: Meeting\nGood morning, Christina.\nAhead ", + "of tomorrow’s meeting with our client, I would appreciate it if you\ncould familiarize yourself with the necessary background information.\nI’ve attached three documents relating to the issue.\nGreetings", + ",\nKristian Jonsson\n+ 46704808080\nCopy of dates and participants.xls\nIT Strategy Update UGMT.doc\nFlyer Template 27 Nov 2014.doc\nThe original invitation to the meeting was sent out a long time\nago, but ", + "you’ve already figured that out, right? An alarm was\nprobably set on the compu ter to send out a reminder about the\nmeeting a day beforehand. The text in the email is factual and\ndoesn’t contain even", + " a trace of a personal touch. There is a little\nnote reminding you that it’ s best to be well prepared.\nWhat’ s the best way to answer this Blue email? Confirm that\nyou’ve received it along with the", + " files. Say that you will get back to\nhim if you have any questions after reading through the material.\nAnd know that the sender assumes you’ll read the whole thing\ncarefully .\n1 6\nWhat Makes Us as Ma", + "d as Hell?\nTemperament Can Reveal Everything About a Person\nAt the end of this book, I will present you with a history lesson. It is\nall about Hippocrates’ four temperaments, describing the same\ndiffe", + "rences that this book is all about.\nIt’s possible to draw conclusions about someone’ s behavior\nbased on his temperament. By “temper” or “temperament” I don’t just\nmean what frustrates a person but ra", + "ther how he reacts when\nsomething unexpected happens. Another way of saying this might be\nto talk about a person’ s disposition. It can be how he reacts to\nchanging circumstances and what sort of ener", + "gy he has.\nBut yes, anger is a good and exciting gauge by which to judge a\nperson’ s color . Moreover , it’s situational. What upsets one person\nmay not upset someone else in the least. By observing ", + "how\nsomeone reacts when things go wrong, you can get some important\nclues. Let me give you an example of a quick diagnosis.\nWhat the hell…!!!\nFor the sake of simplicity , let’s compare different tempe", + "raments to\ndifferent types of drinking glasses. I would suggest a shot glass for a\nRed temperament. “But,” you might say, “that little glass doesn’t hold\nmuch.”\nIndeed it doesn’t, and many Reds functi", + "on like that, too. It doesn’t\ntake much for them to lose their temper and erupt. It could be about\ntraffic jams, missed phone calls, someone moving too slowly on the\nescalator . Not getting their own ", + "way. That someone is just generally\ndense. Remem ber that of all the colors they are the ones most often\nsurrounded by idiots. For a Red, there are many reasons to be\nirritated. A Red’s strength is th", + "at when they explode they rid\nthemselves of any anger or irritation they’ve been feeling. They erupt\nbriefly , but it doesn’t last. The shot glass may be quick to reach\ncapacity , but it doesn’t take ", + "long to empty it. They simply empty the\nshot glass of anger and frustration and they’re back to being\nthemselves. (I’m not referring to how those around a Red perceive\nthings.)\nThe advantage is that", + ", for all their raging, it usually subsides quite\nquickly . A Red can rarely manage to be angry for long. He blurts out\nwhat he wants to say, and then he moves on. Sure, he can leave\nmany confuse d pe", + "ople around him, but that’s their problem. He’s\nfinished with the episode. Then something deeply upsetting happens\nagain, and he just erupts. And again. And again.\nImagine that you pick up the shot gl", + "ass and pour it out over your\ndesk. Not nice, but quite manageable. Y ou can always clean it up.\nBut remember the shot glass fills up just as quickly as it was\nemptied. It will happen again. Many perc", + "eive a Red’s temperament\nas totally unpredictable. It can erupt at any time.\nNevertheless, I don’t think it’s that unpredictable. If you know the\nperson in question, you probably also know what trigge", + "rs his anger .\nHowever , it’s important to know that a Red doesn’t consider\nhimself an angry person. He’s just given someone a piece of his\nmind or maybe raised his voice at him. Again, it’s just a wa", + "y of\ncommunicating. But to a Green, it might seem that a Red is angry\neven when he’s just sharing his opinion. So much is in the eye of the\nbeholder . It’s common that many people simply back off, to ", + "avoid\nconfronting the Red and triggering his anger . But by letting their\nanger get the best of them all the time, Reds miss out on a lot of\nfeedback.\n“I Am Very Upset! Do You Even Hear What I’m\nSayin", + "g?”\nEven the cheerful Yellow loses his temper: Don’t let anyo ne tell you\notherwise. Although Yellows generally have a sunny , optimistic\ndisposition, they have a temper as well. Like Reds, they are ", + "active,\nperceptive people. This means that they have a lot to react to. And if\nyou’re quick-thinking and your tongue sometimes gets away from\nyou, well then, things can happen. What comes out your fac", + "e’ s front\ndoor isn’t always well thought out.\nBecause Yellow s are very expressive and emotional at the same\ntime, you’ll know in advance when the mercury starts rising. An\nobservant person won’t hav", + "e any problem noticing that a Yellow is\non the verge of bursting. The look in his eyes intensifies; his\ngestures become impetuous; his voice is raised. All this happens,\nbut it happens gradually .\nIf ", + "the Red temperament is like a shot glass, then we can liken the\nYellow temperament to an everyday drinking glass. It holds more and\nit’s easier to see when it’s full. The level rises a little at a tim", + "e, and if\nyou’re paying attention you’ll have no problem observing this as it\nhappens.\nNow, if we take the tumbler of milk and pour it out all over your\ndesk what’s the result? It will be a lot messie", + "r and much soggier than\nwhen we poured out the shot glass, right? Many important papers\nare destroyed, and it requires more than a single paper towel to dry it\nall up.\nBut we can still handle the situ", + "ation. Even this tempera mental\noutburst can be managed without too many serious complications.\nThere are also advantages in a Yellow’ s temperament. He’ll feel\nguilty that he laid into someone close ", + "to him: colleague, family\nmember , neigh bor, or maybe even you. So he’ll make an extra effort\nto be kind the next time you meet. He’ll have an uneasy conscience,\nsomething a Red wouldn’t be able to c", + "omprehend.\nIf a person happens to be a combination of Red and Yellow ,\nthings can get tough. In this case, there’ s a lot of ego in the room,\nand you won’t quite know what’ s happening.\nDepending on t", + "he driving forces and motivational factors the\nindividual may have, he can assert his own position almost to the\npoint of absurd ity. Genuine Yellows can let their egos get in the way\nmost of the time", + ". The advantage, however , is that due to their bad\nmemory , they don’t hold grudges for long. They quickly forget that\nthere were any problems, an ability that can make Greens and Blues\nfind Y ellow", + "s to be a little bit too exciting.\nBeware the Fury of a Patient Man. Beware Indeed.\nDo you recognize this old saying? The person who coined it probably\nhad a Green in mind. You may never have seen a G", + "reen lose his\ntemper . It may very well be that your good friend, the friendly and\ngentle pal you’ve never had a serious argument with, hasn’t ever\nshown even a shred of bad temper .\nDoes that mean th", + "at this is a person who can’t get angry? Not at\nall. It just means that instead of turning his temper outwards, it’s\noriented in another direction. Inwards.\nI would liken a Green’ s temp erament to a ", + "fifty-gallon beer barrel.\nCan you imagine how many shot glasses it would take to fill it? We\ncould fill, fill, and fill even more before we even start covering the\nbottom of it. Many Greens function l", + "ike that. They receive and accept\nwithout objecting. This is very much connected to their desire to\navoid conflict but also to their inability to say no. They simply agree\nbecause it’ s easier that wa", + "y .\nDoes this mean that Greens don’t have their own opinion s? Not\nat all; they have just as many opinions about things as anyone else.\nThey just don’t talk about their opinions. And this is often th", + "e\nproblem. They fill the barrel. Week in and week out, a Green accepts\none perceived injustice after the other—note that I said “perceived.”\nIt may take several years before the barrel is full.\nNow ta", + "ke this barrel, lift it up, and pour the contents out over your\ndesk.\nWhat happens ? Everything will be washed away . The water in the\nbarrel will not only wash away everything on your desk away; even", + "\nthe desk itself and you along with it will go out with the flood, too.\nThere’ s no stopping it.\n“You said that I didn’t finish the project on time? Really? Really?!\nLast week, you said that I didn’t ", + "do it well enough. Now let me tell\nyou this: A year ago you prom ised me a new office, and it still hasn’t\nmaterialized. And when I was hired here, back in 1997, you said the\nsame thing, and now let m", + "e tell you…”\nEverything has to come out. Just make sure that you’re not the\nspark that sets it all of f.\nThe problem is large-scale. Greens don’t release any anger or\nfrustration but control their emo", + "tions so as not to create trouble or\nstand out. But they feel and experience just as much as everyone\nelse does. They just lack the natural tools to release everything. But\nwe can help by becoming fac", + "ilitators. We can ask questions, invite\nthem in, and look for signals. Look at their body languag e to see if\nthere are signs of disapprova l. Create a healthy environment around\na Green so that he be", + "comes comfortable enough to say what he\nthinks so that he doesn’t have to continually compromise his\nposition. Otherwise, he will turn all his frustration inwards. And we\nknow what this kind of stress", + " can do to a person.\nI have my own private theory , which I certainly cannot prove\nscientifically , but I suspect that this may be the main reason why\nGreens suffer burnout. They carry anxiety , angui", + "sh, and even anger\nfor so long that it eventually makes them ill. It’s a noticeable problem\nthat should be taken seriously .\nA Complaint a Day\nDuring an extremely stressf ul period in my earlier caree", + "r in the\nbanking sector , I once heard a comment about a Blue. All of us were\nworking every day and night, and many of us were showing the\nstress. Frustration was hanging in the air .\nOur credit cont", + "roller was in the middle of the whole thing. Nothing\ngot to her. She never even acted stressed. Her face was absolutely\nindecipherable, and her gestures were as limited and moderate as\nalways. While t", + "he rest of us ate our lunch on the go, she took her full\nsixty minutes and ate in peace and quiet … it was as if nothing could\ndisturb her peace.\nThen one of my Yellow-Red colleagues said, “She’ s not", + " normal.\nShe doesn’t have any feelings in her body .”\nBack then, it sounded logical to me, but when you think about it, it\ncan’t be true. Blues simply have less need to communicate than\nGreens. So the", + "y simply don’t do it. Some things are turned inwards\neven for Blues. Those who are quick thinkers may wond er if Blues\nrun the risk of burnout just as much as Greens do. Not at all. They\nhave a system", + " to keep stress under control.\nMetaphorically speaking, Blues have as big a beer barrel as\nGreens have, but there is one crucial difference: At the bottom of the\nbarrel, there’ s a handy little tap. T", + "his tap gives a Blue a valve to\nrelease part of the contents of the barrel. He can regulate the\npressure whenever he wishes to.\nMoreover , the tap leaks. It’s not tight enough to create a perfect\nseal", + ", and small drops drip most of the time. A Blue’ s dissatisfaction\ncomes out in the form of tiny grumblings.\n“Just look. Someone has misplaced the pen again! Typical! Now\nI’ll have to finish this off ", + "myse lf. As usual, I get the most boring task.\nThere’ s no structure here. T ypical.”\nAnd so he goes on. His pinpricks affect those around him, but\nwhat they hear all the time is just a muttering trum", + "pet. The embers\ndon’t fan into a fire. We interpret it as a perpetual whining, but the\ndiscontent is real. And because a Blue isn’t sufficiently active to\ninstigate something, he’ll argue about things", + " rather than doing\nsomething about them. It’s all based on complaints that others\nshould see what he sees, that he doesn’t have any authority to act,\nor that he’s simply in a bad mood. But for him, th", + "is is a great way of\nkeeping the pressure under control. So the barrel will never need to\nbe emptied out over somebody’ s desk, and thus serious\ncatastrophes are avoided.\nThe way to manage his nagg in", + "g is to ask counterquestions. Ask\nfor conc rete examples. Ask for suggestions for improveme nt. It may,\nin fact, be the case that the Blue has solved the probl em that is\nplaguing him, but that he nee", + "ds a straight question in order for him to\nstep forward and suggest a solution.\nWhat Can You Do About the Fact That People Don’t\nGet Pissed Off in the Same Way?\nWith these simple observati ons in mind", + ", you can quickly form an\nidea of what type of person you’re dealing with. Pay attention to how\nhe reacts under stress and pressure.\nBut, at the same time, remember that no system is perfect . These\na", + "re only indications, and they apply only to individual colors.\nBesides, as I wrote previously , different situations can give rise to\ncompletely different forms of conduct. Generally speaking, the mor", + "e\nimportant a particular thing is for a certain person, the stronger his\nreaction will be.\nSee for yourself. If someone insults your neighbor , you might\nthink it was unfair. But you don’t make a big ", + "scene out of it. However ,\nif someone were to insult your husband or wife, you would be\nabsolutely furious. That’ s just one example. There are many levels\nand degrees of dif ference to reflect on.\n1 ", + "7\nStress Factors and Energy Thieves\nWhat Is Stress?\nAnger is one thing. Stress is another . Sometimes one is a\nconsequence of the other , but not always. Some people become\nangry because of stress; ot", + "hers become stressed because of anger .\nWhen we speak about stress, we often mean the feeling of having\ntoo much to do and too little time to do it. There’ s not enou gh time to\ndo everything at work", + " and then on top of that factor in the time\nneeded to go to the gym, meet with friends, spend time with family ,\ndo various kinds of recreational activities, oh, and maybe sleep.\nHowever , the stress ", + "that makes us truly suffer is often due to\nthings apart from a lack of time. If you feel pressure and have high\nexpectations about what you will do and how you are meant to be,\nyou can become stressed", + ", even if you aren’t really pressed for time.\nPressure, demands, and expectations create stress and can\nmake you feel self-critical and powerless. You may find it difficult to\nsleep or may feel physic", + "al pain in your body . Simply put, the feeling\nof stress arises when we experience greater demands and\nexpectations than we can cope with.\nDifferent People React Differently to Stress: What a\nSurprise", + "!\nSeriously , though, all of us react differently to stress. Different people\ncan experience the same event in different ways, and a person can\nexperience similar events differently at different times", + ". The things\nyou have been through in the past and how you are feeling right now\nall have an ef fect on how you act and react.\nIf you’r e well rested and feeling fine, you could experience a\ntough we", + "ek at work as an invigorating challenge, despite your heavy\nworkload. But if you’re tired and feeling down on yourself, you may\nexperience the same week as something horrible and demoralizing.\nHow doe", + "s your color affect your stress? It says nothing about\nyour stress threshold (that is, how much stress you can bear). But it\ncan say something about what stresses you and how you’ll react to\nstress. ", + "Previously , I mentioned the concept of driving forces—\nwhatever forces motivate me to get up out of bed every morning,\ndash to work, and go the extra mile. This book doesn’t deal with this\ndimension,", + " but it’s easy to see that we become stressed when we\nfeel that we’re spending too much time on the wrong things.\nOnce you’ve understood what the most important stress factors in\nyour life are, you’l", + "l be better equipped to avoid them when possible.\nIf you’re a manager responsible for a number of people and you\nknow their behavior profiles, you can avoid the worst pitfalls. A great\ndeal of stress ", + "can be avoided if you know how. And you can retain\nthe group’ s productivity .\nThe rest of the chapter is written with an element of irony , and I\nurge you to read it in that way .\nStress Factors for ", + "Reds\nIf you would like to stress out a Red, you can try one of the following\nto lower his self-confidence.\nT a k e E v e r y F o r m o f A u t h o r i t y A w a y\nNot being involved in decision-m", + "aking is really difficult for a Red.\nHe always believes that he has better ideas and so he also believes\nthat he should be the one in charge of the project.\nA c h i e v e N o R e s u l t s W h a t ", + "s o e v e r\n“If we’re not making immediate headway , then all our work has\nbeen a waste.” Such an insight can trigger severe stress reactions in\na Red, and those around him should be on their guard. ", + "He’ll look for\nscapegoats.\nE l i m i n a t e A n y K i n d o f C h a l l e n g e\nIf everything is too easy, it becomes boring. Red behavior hinges\non one thing: the ability to handle problems and ", + "difficult challenges.\nIf there are no problems to solve, then Reds will lack stimulation.\nThey’ll become passive, believing that they have absolutely nothing\nto do. They can slow down the pace, and ", + "this can be difficult to\nreverse.\nW a s t e T i m e a n d R e s o u r c e s a n d W o r k a s I n e f f i c i e n t l y a s P o s s i b l e\nJust sitting around doing nothing is a waste of tim", + "e. Not that this\nis necessarily what we’re actually doing, but, in the mind of a Red, if\nyou don’t get the maximum productivity out of your time, it’s wasteful\nand particularly stressful from a manage", + "rial perspective. He is\nprobably evaluated on the organization’ s efficiency .\nM a k e S u r e T h a t E v e r y t h i n g B e c o m e s a R o u t i n e\nMundane and repetitive tasks are the kiss", + " of death for a Red. It’s\nsimply boring. Reds lose their concentration and will find something\nelse to do. Routine work is not what they’re good at. They ’re lousy at\ndetails, and they know it. Someon", + "e else needs to take care of the\ndull, routine work, because a Red believes that he has a better\nunderstanding of the big picture.\nM a k e a B u n c h o f S t u p i d M i s t a k e s\nMistakes are", + " one thing, but stupid mistakes, well, that’s\nsomething completely different. It’s so overwhelmingly unnecessary .\nIf a Red believ es his colleagues are brainless, he gets crazy: “Why\ndon’t they under", + "stand what they’re supposed to do? How hard can it\nbe?”\nG i v e H i m N o C o n t r o l o v e r O t h e r s\nA Red’s need for control can be extensive. It’s not about\ncontrolling facts and details", + ". They want to control people. What they\ndo, how they do it, and so on. Without this control, a Red gets very\nfrustrated.\nT e l l H i m R e g u l a r l y t o C o o l D o w n o r t o L o w e r ", + " H i s V o i c e\nThey get crazy when people say that they’re angry when they’re\nnot. They will always be a little more hot-tempered than average, but\nthis doesn’t actually mean that they’re angry .", + " And it’s precisely this\naccusation that can get them to become angry—really angry .\nWhat Does a Red Do When He Gets Stressed and\nFeels Pressured?\nHe blames everyone else. As a Red is often surrounded", + " by idiots, it’ s\neasy for him to single out scapegoats. And he can easily overdo\nthings when he wants to take someone to task for having made a\nmess of things. Be aware! That’s my advice to you, beca", + "use you’ll\nfeel the sting of his wrath.\nReds are always more demanding than other colors. They expect\na lot from themselves, and they expect a lot from you. When under\nstress, they’re also excessively", + " demanding and driven—m uch more\nthan usual.\nThe Red will shut out his other colleagues. He becomes closed,\nburrows into the task at hand, and works even harder . Remember\nthat his anger and frustrati", + "on is lurking just beneath the surface, so\nplease be careful about what you do in his presence.\nCan I Help Reds to Manage Their Stress?\nIf you have the authority to give a direct order , the answe r ", + "is simple:\nAsk them to get a hold of themselves. It actually works. Another way\nto make it easier for Reds in stressful situations is to send them\nhome and tell them to do some physical exercise—anyth", + "ing to burn\nsome of that frustrated, restless energy . Send them to a place where\nthey can run in some kind of competition, spending their energy on\nwinning somet hing that will be of no importance to", + " the group. When\nthey come back, most of their aggression will have dissipated.\nStress Factors for Yellows\nIf for any reaso n, you would like to get a Yellow to feel stress, try one\nof the following t", + "o get him of f balance.\nP r e t e n d H e ’ s I n v i s i b l e\nYou remembe r a Yellow’ s driving impulse, right? “Look at me!\nHere I am!” If you want to get him off balance, simply make him feel\ni", + "nvisible. If he’ s not visible, then he doesn’t exist. He feel ignored and\noverlooked, and this is guaranteed to cause stress.\nB e c o m e V e r y S k e p t i c a l\nAny person manifesting lots of sk", + "epticism is very negative,\nsomething that stresses Yellows. They want to see the positive and\nthe light and consider even everyday realists to be prophets of\ndoom. Pessimism and negativity effectively", + " kill Yellows’ enthusiasm\nand cause them to feel tense.\nS t r u c t u r e W o r k a s M u c h a s P o s s i b l e\nJust like Reds, Yellows shun routine, repetitive tasks and jam-\npacked schedules.", + " They happily create schedules for others, but\nthey can’t follow them themse lves. Force them into one of your plans\nand you’ll see how your Y ellow friends will begin to unravel.\nI s o l a t e H i m", + " f r o m t h e R e s t o f t h e G r o u p\nFor a Yellow , the absence of someone to talk to is perhaps the\nworst thing ever. It’s the end of the world. Because they need to talk,\nthere must be s", + "omeone there to listen. Being trapped in an office\nspace with only a desk for company is a punishment worse than\ndeath. It’ s like being deported to Siberia.\nM a k e C l e a r T h a t I t ’ s I n ", + "a p p r o p r i a t e t o J o k e a t W o r k\n“No joking around and no sense of humor? Is this a funeral\nparlor?” I once got exactly that comment from a Yellow who\ndiscovered that consultants did", + "n’t have time to monkey about. She\nwas very stressed out by all the seriousness and left before her\nprobation period was over .\nP u s h a Y e l l o w t o T h i n k C a r e f u l l y B e f o r e ", + "h a n d — T w i c e\nSuppressing a Yellow’ s spontaneity is like holding down the lid on\na sauce pan when the milk is boiling over. It simply does n’t work. It\ncreates a terrible mess, and everyone get", + "s involved when Yellows—\nloudly and intensely—invite everyone else into their stress spiral.\nRemember that a Yellow’ s stress will always be noticed. Don’t\nbelieve otherwise.\nC o n t i n u o u s l y ", + " S q u a b b l e a n d F u s s A b o u t I n s i g n i f i c a n t T h i n g s\nHaving to face incessant confrontations is exhausting. This is\nsomething of a paradox, because Yellows aren’t afraid", + " of conflict like\nGreens. But if there’ s too much bickering, it will disrupt their desire\nfor fun and positivity , which causes stress. They can cope with\nsquabbling, but when it becomes too much, Ye", + "llows won’t be at the\ntop of their game and they lose their usual luster .\nT r y a L i t t l e P u b l i c H u m i l i a t i o n\nA Yellow who has been given negative feedback in the presence\nof ", + "other s won’t be a pleasan t sight to behold. It’s enoug h to make\nhim never speak to you again. Moreover , he’ll also become\nincredibly defensive, and you’ll achieve nothing at all.\nWhat Does a Yello", + "w Do When He Gets Stressed and\nFeels Pressured?\nBe prepared for the fact that he’ll draw attention to himself even\nmore than usual. His ego makes it impossible for him not to seek out\nmore attention a", + "nd affirmatio n, since he has to compensate for the\nnegative feelin gs of stress. This means that he’ll actively look for\nattention, which makes him feel better . The risk is that he’ll talk too\nmuch ", + "and force himself into the center of everything.\nMaybe you thought that this wasn’t possible, but he also runs the\nrisk of becoming excessively and unrealistically optimis tic. You’ve\nnever experien c", + "ed a real challenge until you’ve tried to cope with a\ntruly stressed-out Yellow . He’ll come up with plans that are so wild\nand outlandish that not even he can believe them. This is just a\nnatural co", + "ping mechanism for him.\nCan I Help Yellows to Manage Their Stress?\nLet a Yellow organize a party . He urgently needs to meet people in\nsocial contexts. He can sink very deep into his own misery if he\n", + "remains under stress for too long. When things are at their worst,\nsuggest a pub crawl, a party , or why not just a simple barbeque? It\ndoesn’t need to be fancy , but make sure he gets to enjoy himse", + "lf for\na while. Also, make sure that it’ s fun!\nStress Factors for Greens\nIf you, for any reason, would like to get a Green to feel stress, I\npropose the following unpleasant things.\nT a k e E v e r ", + "y F o r m o f S e c u r i t y A w a y f r o m H i m\nGive him tasks that he’s never done before without explaining\nanything whatsoever to him. But, at the same time, expect perfect\nimplementation", + ". Leave him alone in meetings with people who place\nunreasonable demands on him. Don’t support him when things heat\nup in a conver sation. Send an angry Red to rant at him. The stress\nwill soon follow", + " .\nL e a v e L o t s o f L o o s e E n d s\nUnfinished tasks and loose ends are deeply disturbing. Greens\nlike to know how things fit together , and when they don’t understand\nhow the process works", + " it won’t go well. Unfinished projects—things\nthat have been started but are drawn out without any end in sight—\nreally mess things up for Greens. This is why Yellows are\nphenomenal at causing stress ", + "for Greens.\nH a n g A r o u n d H i m C o n s t a n t l y\nIf a Green doesn’t get his private space, if there’ s nowhere he can\nwithdraw from the world, he gets very stressed. He likes other\npeople,", + " of course, but he needs to be alone with himself also. If this\nisn’t possible, then he can’t think anymore.\nM a k e L i g h t n i n g - F a s t C h a n g e s a n d U n e x p e c t e d C h a n g ", + "e s o f D i r e c t i o n\nThis is the specialty of Reds and Yellows. Quick decisions that\nthey don’t always explain. Greens are miserable when they’re forced\ninto making unexpected and rapid changes", + ", and they often respond\nby ending up in a state of absolute indifference. The worst kind of\nchange is when a Green gets an order in the morning and just as he\nbegins to reflect on how he will do it a", + " counterorder comes.\nA s k H i m “ W o u l d Y o u B e S o G o o d a s t o R e d o t h e W h o l e T h i n g f r o m\nB e g i n n i n g t o E n d ? ”\nHaving to redo a task is synonymous ", + "with failure. If something\nmust be redone, it can only be because your work wasn’t good\nenough the first time. In other words, negative feedback. By\nextension, this means that you’re not good enough a", + "s a person,\nwhich, of course, is extremely stressful.\nT e l l a G r e e n , “ L o o k H e r e ! W e C a n ’ t A g r e e o n A b s o l u t e l y E v e r y t h i n g . ”\nDisagreements in a wor", + "k group or in the family inevitably lead to\nstress. Only troublemakers enjoy conflict. Friction in the most\nimpor tant group, the family , is particularly serious. A Green won’t\nknow what he should do", + ".\nP u s h H i m i n t o t h e S p o t l i g h t\nUnder no circu mstances will Greens want to take cente r stage\nwhen they’re in larger group s. Groups of more than three people\nwould be cons idered", + " large groups unless the Green knew everyone\nvery well. If you force a Gree ns into such a situation, he’ll just stare\nat his feet. Everyone can see how uneasy he is, and the rest of the\ngroup will al", + "so be stressed. Not good.\nWhat Does a Green Do When He Gets Stressed and\nFeels Pressured?\nHe becomes very reserved and almost cold. His body language\nbecomes rigid and closed, and if you’re the one wh", + "o triggered his\nstress he won’t have anything to do with you. Some Greens can\nexhibit strong apathy . They become cold and unsympathetic even\ntowards people whom, in normal circumstances, they care ve", + "ry\nmuch about.\nThey also become very hesitant and uncertain. Stress makes\nGreens insecu re and afraid of making mistakes. It can be at work but\nalso at home. If a child gets sick, a Green becomes pass", + "i ve and just\nlooks on, because he’s afraid of doing the wrong thing. He’ll also\ninternalize the blame for the situation and may become completely\nclosed.\nAt work, it may be slightly different. It dep", + "ends. Many Gree ns end\nup in a rut of obstinacy or stubbornness, provoking those around\nthem by refusing to change anything. Even when they see that a\nparticular meth od is not working well, they can", + " refuse to act. It\nseems strange , but the typical Green stubbornness gets the upper\nhand and prevents them from doing anything.\nCan I Help Greens to Manage Their Stress?\nAllow them to do nothing. Giv", + "e them free time for things like\ngardening, sleep, or other forms of relaxation. Maybe something like\nsending them off to a movie—not with a large group of people, but\npossibly on their own—or giving ", + "them a good book that takes two\ndays to read. They don’t really want to do anything. Let them do\nnothing until the stress subsid es. Then they’ll be back to their normal\nselves.\nStress Factors for Blu", + "es\nIf you, for any reason, would you like to get a Blue to feel stress, just\nupset every one of his calculations.\nT e l l H i m , “ Y o u D o n ’ t K n o w W h a t Y o u ’ r e T a l k i n g A ", + "b o u t . ”\nYou may think that Blues don’t take criticism personally , but if they\nbelieve that the criticism is untrue and unfounded, it can be very hard\non them. Not because they’re afraid of confli", + "ct, or that your\nrelationship will suffer, but because their sense of perfection is being\nbesmirched.\nH a v e t h e M a n a g e m e n t T e a m M a k e a S p o n t a n e o u s D e c i s i o n\nA", + " Blue is often okay with change, because he doesn’t ever\nconsider anything completely perfect. But he needs to know the\nmotivations behind the change. If it’s not in the plan, then it’s\nunplanned, and", + " a lack of planning indicates poor structure—not\ngood. Inevitably , this leads to headaches.\nT e l l H i m , “ T h i s C o u l d B e R i s k y o r U n c e r t a i n , b u t W e ’ r e G o i n", + " g t o G o A h e a d\nA n y w a y . ”\nThere’ s a certain amount of risk in everything. A Blue sees risks\neverywhere. If a Red were to say that jumping from a plane without a\nparachute is a huge risk", + ", a Blue would say that it’s risky to buy a new\nlawn mower . You never really know what can happen. And the faster\nthings go, the greater the risks become.\nS u r p r i s e H i m w i t h S o m e t h", + " i n g l i k e “ Y o u r I n - l a w s A r e C o m i n g O v e r\nU n a n n o u n c e d ! F a n t a s t i c ! ”\nIt’s a matter of order and structure, of working at a relaxe d pace\nor renovating ", + "the kitchen according to a clearly established plan. If\nhalf the family were to drop in all of a sudden, it would upset\neverything. You should never try to surprise a Blue. Since he may\nnot have commu", + "nicated his own plans completely , you can create\nquite a problem.\nS a y , “ W h o o p s a d a i s y , W h a t H a p p e n e d H e r e ? ”\nMistakes are made by blockheads and careless people. Blue", + "s\ndon’t make mistakes, so when everyone else makes a mess of\nthings and disrupts his plans a Blue might simply close the door and\nrefuse to listen. He doesn’t want to hear that the project has crashed", + ";\nhe just wants to keep doing his part—even if that task no longer\nmakes any sense.\nT e l l H i m , “ F o r g e t A b o u t t h e B u r e a u c r a c y . L e t ’ s I n n o v a t e ! ”\n“Don’t yo", + "u have any imagin ation? We have to be a bit more\nflexible here.” This is a great way to get a Blue to lose his footing at\nwork. People who break the rules and go against the regulations are\nto be reg", + "arded with suspicion , and you need to keep them on a short\nleash. If a Blue realizes that he’s in the hands of an organization that\npays no attention whatsoever to proper procedures, he can show\ncons", + "iderable resistance.\nR e m i n d H i m , “ W e S i m p l y N e e d t o T a k e B i g g e r R i s k s . ”\nA variation on the precedin g point. Right is right, and proper\npreparation is the be-a", + "ll and end-all, the Alpha and Ome ga. It even\nsays so in a book. So when a Blue can’t prepare himself in his\n(sometimes extremely cumbersome) way, it triggers stress. He’s the\nopposite of spontaneous,", + " and you simply can’t force a Blue to\nrespond to a situation before he’s had time to acquaint himself with\nthe subject. He’ll have so many reservations he won’t be any use.\nS u r r o u n d H i m w ", + "i t h O v e r l y E m o t i o n a l P e o p l e\nNope. Sloppy sentimentality is downright unpleasant. It’s messy\nand awkward, and a Blue doesn’t like it. Logic is what counts, and if\nyou overlook th", + "is, he’ll find it very trying. He’ll make himself scarce,\nand he’ll never forget that you’re an overly emotional person who\ndoesn’t use your brain in the same way he uses his.\nWhat Does a Blue Do When", + " He Gets Stressed and\nFeels Pressure?\nHe becomes excessively pessimistic. Oh yes. It actually gets worse\nthan usual. Suddenly everyth ing becomes pitch black, and he falls\ninto a pit of despair . Leth", + "arg y is common, and nothing is of interest\nanymore. Gloom and doom will rain down on all of us. He also gets\nunbearably pedantic. When they feel stress, many people increase\ntheir pace in order to co", + "mpensate. Not a Blue. He stomps on the\nbrakes. Now isn’t the time for making any mistakes. Those around\nhim can expect constant criticism. He’ll suddenly point out every little\nmistake he observes—and", + " there are quite a few. He might also\nbecome an unbearable know-it-all.\nCan I Help Blues to Manage Their Stress?\nThey need privacy . They must be given time and space to think.\nThey want to analyze th", + "e situation and understand the connections,\nand they need to be given time to do just that. If you give them\nspace, they will come back—eventually . But if they fall too deeply\ninto a funk, you may ne", + "ed to of fer them more proactive help.\nConclusion: What can we learn from studying different people\nunder stress? When under stress an individual’ s normal conduct and\nbehavior are reinforced and exa", + "ggerated. A Red becomes even\ntougher and more aggressiv e towards those around him, a Yellow\nbecomes more sulky and unstructured, a Green becomes even more\npassive and noncommittal than usual, and a B", + "lue can become\ncompletely closed and split hairs so thin that they’re not even visible\nto the naked eye.\nThe most important thing is to avoid stressing people\nunnecessarily . Of course you knew that a", + "lready , but it can be helpful\nto understand what actually causes stress for each profile. To push a\nRed is not as stressful as pushing a Green or a Blue. On the\ncontrary , you have to push a Red for ", + "him to bounce back. If\neverything were to go smoothly , he would just get bored.\nThe situation, your profile, the time of day, the level of work, the\ngroup, the weather—lots of things determine stress", + " in our lives. But if\nyou pay attention, it will work out perfectly .\n1 8\nA Short Reflection Through History\nPeople Have Always Been like This\nThe Background to Everything You’ve Read So Far\nThis chap", + "ter explains how I arrived at the research that forms the\nbasis of the information in this book. If you’re not interested in\nhistory , or references, or research, or things that take time from your\not", + "herwise full life, you can skip this chapter . For everybody else—a\nlong time ago …\nIn all cultures, there has always been a need to categorize\npeople. When the Stone Age period was over and we became", + " more\nreflective as people, we discovered that all over the world people\nwere dif ferent. What a surprise.\nBut how different are people really? And how have those\ndifferences been described? There are", + " probably as many methods\nas there are cultures on earth. But I’ll share some examples.\nT h e G r e e k s\nHippocrates, who lived four centuries before Christ, is considered\nthe father of medicine. Un", + "like many other physicians of that time, he\nwasn’t superstitious. He believed that disease originated in nature\nand didn’t come from the gods. For example, Hippocrate s believed\nthat epilepsy was caus", + "ed by a blockage in the brain. Nowadays this\nis common knowledge, but back then it was revolutionary .\nHumoral patho logy, or the theory of the four humors or four bodily\nfluids, has to do with the fo", + "ur temperaments. According to\nHippocrates, our temperament is the fundamental way we react. It’s\nour behavior or our natural frame of mind. Our temperament controls\nour behavior .\nHippocrates believed", + " that your health is good when the four\nhumors—blood, yellow bile, black bile, and phlegm—are in balance.\nWhen we vomit, cough, or sweat, for example, the body is trying to\nrid itself of one or more o", + "f these substances.\nThe word chloe comes from Greek and means “yellow bile.”\nTherefore, a choleric person is controlled by yellow bile or the liver.\nFiery and temp eramental, choleric people sometime", + "s frighten those\naround them with their powerful ways. “Choleric” can be translated\nas “hot-blooded.”\nThe Latin word sanguis means “blood.” A sanguine person is\ncontrolled by the blood, by the heart.", + " Creative and happy-go-lucky ,\nhe spreads positive vibes around him. Full of blood and therefore\noptimistic and cheerful, he has an airy manner . A synonym for a\nsanguine person is an optimist.\nA phle", + "gmatic person gets his influences from the brain. “Phlegm”\nmeans nothing more than mucus. Mucus is viscous, which\nsymbolizes a phlegmatic person’ s temperament. A phlegmatic\nperson is sluggish and slo", + "w in movement.\nFinally , a melancholic person has an excess of black bile—the\nGreek melaina chloe simply means “black bile,” found in the spleen\n—and is therefore often perceived as melancholic and g", + "loomy . A\ncommon synonym for a melancholic person is a pessimist.\nAnd there we have Hippocrates and his theories in a nutshell.\nT h e A n c i e n t P e o p l e w i t h a n E y e f o r C o l o r", + " : T h e A z t e c s\nThe Aztecs were a powerful people who lived in Central Mexico\nfrom the fourteenth century to the sixteenth century . They are known\nfor their incredibly advanced civilization an", + "d impressive temples.\nWhen they tried to divide people into different categories, they\nused somethin g they knew well—the four elements: fire, air, earth,\nand water . To this day, the four elements ar", + "e used to describe\ndifferent frames of mind, but nobody really knows if the Aztecs were\nthe first to actually come up with this idea. But we do know for a fact\nthat they used this idea, because they l", + "eft carvings illustrating this\napproach.\nFire people were exactly as it sounds: fiery, explosive, a bit\nhotheaded. They were warrior types who took to the sword to get\ntheir own way . Leaders.\nAir peo", + "ple were different. They were also determined but\nconsiderably more easygoing. They swept in like a captivating wind,\nkicking up a little dust in the process.\nEarth people worked for the village, for ", + "the collective. They had to\nexemplify stability and security . They were there to create long-\nlasting things, to build for the future.\nWhat about water people? Water was an element the Aztecs had\nres", + "pect for. Water can crush everything in its path, but you can also\nbottle it—if you know how to do it. Quiet and secure, water people\nobserved everything that was happening.\nAs you can see, these divi", + "sio ns bear quite a resemblance to the\ntheories propo unded by Hippocrates—they’re only different names\nfor the same thing.\nW i l l i a m M o u l t o n M a r s t o n\nWilliam Moulton Marston created ", + "a systolic blood pressure test\nthat was used in an attempt to detect fraud. The discove ry resulted\nin the modern lie detector . But Marston was also the author of\nessays in popular psychology . In 1", + "928 he published his work\nEmotions of Normal People, in which he investigated the differences\nin the behavio r patterns of healthy people. Earlier , both Jung and\nFreud had published studies involvin", + "g mentally unstable people, but\nMarston was a kind of pioneer who provided the foundations for what\nbecame known as the DISA model, the model that is the basis for\nthis book. A few years after disco", + "vering Marston’ s work (in the\n1950s), Walter Clarke developed the DISA concept based on\nMarston’ s observations. As you’ve seen, this is a model used to\ncategorize the different types of human behav", + "ior . His work has been\nan endless source of valuab le insights about behavior and human\ninteractions, but it has not been without its critics. Howev er, a great\ndeal of work has been done since Marst", + "on’ s days, and over the\nyears many other people have been involved in fine-tuning the DISA\ntool.\nMarston found a way to demonstrate how people were different.\nHe noted distinct differences between pe", + "rsonalities, which formed\nthe basis for the model used in this book. Nowadays we use the\nfollowing divisions:\n• Dominance produces activity in an antagonistic\nenvironment.\n• Inspiration produces act", + "ivity in a favorable environment.\n• Submission produces passivity in a favorable environment.\n• Complian ce produces passivity in an antagon istic\nenvironment.\nThe four letters D, I, S, and C (Domin", + "ance, Inspiration,\nSubmission, and Compliance) form the acronym of the DISC profile\nthat is used throughout the world. Marston used the word\n“compliance”; however , in this book I render this as “anal", + "ytic ability ,”\nas that better describes the type of individuals.\nThe dominance trait in any given individua l relates to how he\napproaches problems and deals with challenges.\nInspiration refers to ", + "a person who likes to influence others. A\nperson with this trait will always be able to convince others. In simple\nterms, you could say that dominance is about acting, and inspiration\nis about interac", + "ting.\nThe degree of stability is measured primarily by how receptive an\nindividual is to change. A strong need for stability means a person is\nresistant to change, while someone who enjoys change wil", + "l have a\nlower need for stability . This leads, of course, to a number of specific\nbehavior patterns—like a nostalgic belief in the long-lost “good old\ndays” for instance.\nFinally , analytic ability ", + "shows how willing someone is to follow\nrules and regulations. Of course, this also produces certain\ncharacteristics that are interrelated. Here we find those who can’t\naccept that things go wrong. Qua", + "lity is important.\nYou’ve probably noticed that, regardless of whether it’s a product\nof mode rn psychology or the ancient Aztecs in Latin America, these\nbehavoral traits are all associated with the s", + "ame color . The colors\naren’t critical; it’s only a way to make it easier for those who aren’t\nfamiliar with the system to make sense of the profiles. As a\nconsultant, I’ve trained people in this topi", + "c for twenty years, and I’ve\nfound that the colors facilitate learning.\nMarston finished researching this topic sometime in the 1930s.\nMany others have used his research and developed a tool that,\nacc", + "ording to the most recent data, has been used by nearly 50\nmillion people for the past thirty-five years. For example, the\nAmerican Bill Bonnstetter made invaluable achievements in creating\ndefinitive", + " tools that help analyze the whole individual. In the United\nStates, a company TTI Success Insights (ttisuccessinsights.com)\noffers a comprehensive analysis tool.\nBut it’s always helpful to remember t", + "hat though in theory there’ s\nno difference between the concept on the page and the practice, in\nthe real world there’ s a big dif ference indeed.\nI’ve described the four main traits that Marston poin", + "ted out, but\nremember that most of us are a combination of two colors.\n1 9\nVoices from Real Life\nThe book you are holding in your hands is a transl ation from\nSwedish of the fourth edition of Surround", + "ed by Idiots: How to\nUnderstand Those Who Cannot Be Understood. When the Swedish\nedition was published, about fifteen thousand people in Sweden read\nit. I wrote this book because for many years in va", + "rious context at\ntraining courses, lectures, et cetera, people always asked me,\n“Where can we read more about this system?” Up until now, the\nanswer has always been nowhere. Then I wrote this book , a", + "nd now\nyou’ve read it.\nAs a writer , I always want to know what people think about what I\nhave written. Because I also write fiction, I know how hearing the\ntruth can be like an electric shock, but at", + " the same time, I like to\nchallenge myself. So, I interviewed four people with entirely different\nprofiles, asking their views about the system itself but also about\nhow they see their everyday lives", + "—based on the color they have. As\nyou read, pay attention to how they answer the questions (not just to\nwhat they say). You can learn just as much from how they respond\nas you can from the responses t", + "hemselves.\nH e l e n a\nC E O o f a P r i v a t e C o m p a n y w i t h A p p r o x i m a t e l y F i f t y E m p l o y e e s . M o s t l y R e d ,\nW i t h o u t A n y G r e e n o r B l u", + " e . A S m a l l D a b o f Y e l l o w .\nW h a t d o y o u t h i n k o f t h i s t o o l ? D I S A l a n g u a g e ?\nI think it seems to be an effective way to avoid\nmisunderstandings. I ", + "understood immediately what it was all about,\nso I think the book could have been shorter—half as long, maybe. I\nwould have concentrated the text more. I don’t like repetition. But\nsure, it’s a useful", + " tool. Last Christmas I gave a copy to all my\ncoworkers as a gift and asked that they read it. And almost\neverybody did.\nW h a t i s t h e m o s t i m p o r t a n t t a k e a w a y f o r y o u ", + " f r o m t h e b o o k ?\nThat I no longer have to beat around the bush. Now my staff\nknow that I’m not an evil despot; I’m just Red. They unde rstand that\nI’m not angry just determin ed. The most in", + "teresting thing was\nreading about Blue behavior . I’d never reflected on why they saw\nthings so differently than I do. Now I understand that the process\nitself is important for them, which is why they", + " take such a long time.\nA n y t h i n g e l s e ?\nNo. Well, Yellows. I’ve always wondered about them. All that\nbabble. I have some acquaintances who are like that. They just sit\ndown and blow a lot o", + "f hot air in your face without really saying\nanything much. My neighbor ’s like that. He plans all the time, but\nnone of his plans actually take off. It doesn’t bother me, but his wife\nmust be insane ", + "by now. And at my company , the Yellows get too little\ndone. But it’s not a major problem, in my opinion. I just stand firm\nand demand that they deliver . I can live with their sour faces. I’m not\nthe", + "re to be soft and cuddly .\nW h a t i s y o u r e x p e r i e n c e o f G r e e n b e h a v i o r ?\nSure.… Yes, well, what can I say? [Helena takes a long pause\nand looks out the window .] They’r", + "e needed, too. Loyal and dutiful.\nBut in all honesty … I’d never realized that they talk behin d my back.\nBut it’s definitely true. They’re phenomenal at spreading rumors.\nEven making the smallest cha", + "nge starts off a storm of gossip in the\nlunchroom. Speculations about one thing after the other . Usually\ncompletely incorrect and based on wrong information. It would be\neasier if they just came stra", + "ight to me with their questions. I mean,\nhow hard can it be to step into the manager ’s office and just ask?\nThey know that I’ll always answer honestly , so beating around the\nbush is frustra ting. I ", + "don’t know how many times I’ve said that we\nhave to just be honest with each other at this firm. Is that so hard?\nW h y d o y o u t h i n k t h e y d o n ’ t s h a r e w h a t t h e y ’ r e t", + " h i n k i n g w i t h y o u ?\nThey’re afraid that I’ll get angry, of course. I’ve never thought\nabout it before. They think that I’m short-tempered, because, on\noccasion, I raise my voice or glare ", + "at someone, but that just means\nthat I’m trying to highlight that what I’ve said is important. [Pause.]\nPersonally , I couldn’t care less if a conversation is a little tense; it’s\nnot the same thing a", + "s being angry. But it was news to me that some\npeople actively avoid strong individuals. What I don’t understand is\nhow this happens between grown-ups.\nY o u c o n s i d e r i t i m m a t u r e b", + " e h a v i o r — n o t s a y i n g w h a t y o u t h i n k ?\nImmature. Dishonest, actually . A lot like a child who refuses to\nadmit that he took the chocolate chip cookie, even though he wasn’t\n", + "allowed to. I know that he did it, so what’ s the point denying it?\nThat’ s something I really don’t understand. Just admit your mistakes!\nWhy is that so hard? Admit what you’ve done or not done , and", + " then\nwe can move on. But denying it or avoiding it … it drives me insane.\nO k a y . L e t ’ s c o n s i d e r t h e o t h e r c o l o r s . Y o u s a i d t h a t y o u f i n d B l u e s t", + " h e\ne a s i e s t t o d e a l w i t h ? R e l a t i v e l y e a s y w i t h Y e l l o w s . B u t w h a t a b o u t o t h e r\nR e d s ? H o w i s i t w o r k i n g w i t h p e o p l ", + "e t h a t h a v e t h e s a m e p r o f i l e y o u h a v e ?\nUsually , no problem. We do what we have to do. I have a\nmanagement team consisting of five people besides myse lf. I would\nsay th", + "at three are Red. Or wait now. Two are Red and one\nRed/Y ellow . One is Blue—the controller . And the last one is … hard\nto say. He’s both visionary and at the same time focuses on the\ndetails. Can a", + " person be Y ellow/Blue?\nY e s . A c o m m o n c o m b i n a t i o n . B u t n o G r e e n i n t h e t e a m t h e n ?\n[Smiling.] No.\nH o w d o e s y o u r R e d b e h a v i o r f u n c", + " t i o n , i n g e n e r a l , d o y o u t h i n k ?\nWell, before reading the book and discovering my personal profile\nI never thought that much about it. I hadn’t really reflected on the\nway I a", + "pproach things. But the more I read, the more I realized that I\nwas the cause of some of the problems I’ve had at work . The thing\nabout people hiding their real feelings was only one part of the stor", + "y .\nIt never occurr ed to me that some people were afraid or intimidated\nby the way I behave. There’ s been a lot of turbulence when I made\ndecisions too quickly or when things weren’t properly thoug", + "ht out. Of\ncourse, I know that I need to think through things before I decide on\nanything, but it just happens. I get an idea—and off we go!\nImplemented before lunch.\nW h a t a r e t h e c o n s e ", + "q u e n c e s o f t h e s e p o o r l y t h o u g h t - o u t d e c i s i o n s ? D o\ny o u h a v e a n y e x a m p l e s ?\nTons. [Laughter .] Once I accepted a job without even asking\nabout ", + "the salary . Turns out I had to work sixty hours a week without\na penny in overtime. On one occasion, I hired a person who turned\nout to be totally useless. I hadn’t asked for any references and I\nass", + "umed that he knew what he was talking about. He knew nothing\nabout the industry or the product. He was a complete scammer .\nUnfortunately , he cost us a lot before I finally managed to get rid of\nhim.", + " Lots of money wasted, though.\nT h a t d o e s n ’ t s o u n d i d e a l . H o w a r e t h i n g s o u t s i d e o f w o r k ? H o w d o y o u\nm a n a g e y o u r p e r s o n a l r e l ", + "a t i o n s h i p s ?\nIn those areas I think even less. But it’s kind of funny . I showed\nthe book to my husband and asked him to read it. He didn’t, but I\nhighlighted some areas that I insisted he r", + "ead.\nR e d b e h a v i o r ?\nRed behavior . And he did read some of it. He probably\nrecognized his wife. He laughed a little, but now that I think about it,\nhe didn’t say anything in particular .\nD i", + " d h e m a k e a n y c o m m e n t s a b o u t G r e e n b e h a v i o r ?\nNo.\nH o w d o y o u w o r k t o g e t h e r ? A s a t e a m ?\nHow do we work together? [Loud laughter .] I tell", + " him what needs\nto be done, and he does it. Before he’s finished with it, I find\nsomething else for him to do and send him off to do it. Later on, I get\nannoyed because he hasn’t finished. But he’s ne", + "ver finished\nanything in his entire life. We often laugh about this—I create\ndisorder but blame him. I’m sure he doesn’t have an easy life.\nI u n d e r s t a n d . W h a t w o u l d y o u s a y ", + "y o u r b i g g e s t c h a l l e n g e s a r e , b a s e d o n\ny o u r R e d b e h a v i o r ?\nSome people take an eternity to make a simple decision, and it\ndrives me crazy . I know I’m fast,", + " but some people are just painfully\nslow. It doesn’t make a difference if it’s a friend or a coworker . For\ninstance, we said that we were going to buy an armchair for our\nliving room. Because I work ", + "so much, we agreed that my husband\nwould [here Helena raises her eyebrows, and slowly a smile spreads\nacross her face]. I agreed that he had to do all the research. Check\nonline, furniture stores, sec", + "o ndhand shops, and so on. But nothing\nhappened, of course! Two days later, when I asked him about it, he\nhadn’t done anything at all! So, the following day during lunch, while\nI was in the bathroom, ", + "I found five different options and sent them to\nhim. And when I got home five hours later, he still hadn’t done\nanything! I exploded at him, and he locked himself in the basement.\nO k a y , a g o o ", + "d e x a m p l e , t h a n k s . H o w l o n g h a v e y o u b e e n m a r r i e d ?\nFourteen years. We met by chance. I usually say that what\nattracted me to him was that he could keep his mou", + "th shut when\nneeded, and he still does. But sometimes I wish that he would take a\nlittle more initiative and just do things. I’ve never actually asked him\nwhat he saw in me.\nB u t h o w d o y o u ", + "r e s o l v e y o u r c o n f l i c t s i f h e ’ s G r e e n a n d y o u ’ r e R e d ?\nI don’t think we actually have that many conflicts. On the whole,\nI’m the one who argues if anything hap", + "pens, but, on the other hand,\nhe can get very sulky .\nW h a t d o y o u m e a n b y s u l k y ?\nHe can walk around for days just moping. Normally , I just ignore\nhim; he usuall y recovers. But so", + "metimes I get tired of all his sad\nfaces and asking him what the problem is. I confront him, as it were.\n[Pause.]\nW h a t h a p p e n s t h e n ?\nWhat happens then? Well … He says that there’ s no p", + "roblem.\nThat everythin g’s great. But that’s not true. He’s really easy to read,\nso I always know if something is wrong. The problem is that he\nrefuses to admit that he’s grouchy . Which usually mean ", + "s that he’s\nupset because of something I did. Or said. The problem is that I\nnever remember anything. I have to start guessing—which is\nabsolutely impossible. Often it’s about some insignificant stray", + "\ncomment I made in passing, usually something I forgot the minute I\nsaid it. And if I don’t guess correctly , then he gets even grumpier . It\ncan go on for weeks. I don’t understand how he copes with ", + "it.\nB u t h o w d o y o u m o v e o n ? C a n ’ t y o u s o r t i t o u t ?\nWell, we just tend to sweep it under the rug. I forget about the\nwhole thing. But my husband stores the “conflict", + "” in some private\narchive that only he knows about. That shelf must be completely full\nby now .\n[Helena thinks for a moment. You know , I’ve always gotten in\ntrouble for sharing my opinion, for walkin", + "g my own path. I’ve never\nreally fit in. Even as a child, I did stupid things and took risks. But\nnow I’m glad that I took risks because it’s taken me somewhere. But\nit definitely hasn’t always been ", + "easy .\nH o w h a s y o u r r i s k - t a k i n g b e n e f i t e d y o u ?\nSitting and thinking about things leads nowhere. It makes no\ndifference how great your plans are if you don’t get off yo", + "ur butt and\ncarry them out. I didn’t always know where I was going, but that\nnever stopped me. I’ve had some tough spots, went bankrupt, lost\nmy job, and things like that. Not that much fun, but those", + " things\nbrought me to where I am now. The way I see it, it’s not how much\nyou know or how clever you are, but what you actually do. And I\nhave always been good at that. Doing things.\nW h a t a d v i ", + "c e w o u l d y o u g i v e t o p e o p l e w h o m e e t y o u ? W h a t s h o u l d t h e y\nk e e p i n m i n d ?\n[Pause.] Don’t be intimidated by the fact that sometimes I’m a\nlittle ", + "too pushy . Don’t back off just because I can raise my voice a bit.\nI’m not angry just because I push people. But also that they have to\nget the show on the road. My husband and I often talk about how", + "\ndifferent we are at deliver ing a message. While he gives the\nbackground for ten minutes and then comes to the point, I go straight\nto the point and tell people what’ s important. Maybe I throw in a ", + "little\nbackground info, but probabl y not. People should keep in mind that\nyou can work without talking all the time. Put your energy into the\ntask at hand instead of a bunch of other things. You can", + " socialize on\nthe weekend.\nH å k a n S e l l e r o f A d v e r t i s i n g S p a c e o n O n e o f t h e M a j o r C o m m e r c i a l T V\nC h a n n e l s . M o s t l y Y e l l o w b u t", + " w i t h S o m e S p l a s h e s o f G r e e n . N o B l u e o r R e d .\nW h a t d o y o u t h i n k o f t h i s t o o l ? D I S A l a n g u a g e ?\nReally great! An incredibly useful", + " tool that more people should\nknow about. I recognized so much of myself in the book, too. It was\nbrilliant. I showed the book to everyone I know , and we just had to\nlaugh about how accurate it was. ", + "I’ve read most of the book, mostly\nabout Yellows. I don’t agree with everything, but most of it was spot-\non.\nW h a t p a r t s o f Y e l l o w b e h a v i o r d i d y o u t h i n k w e r e m", + " o s t a c c u r a t e ?\nThat we Yellows are very creative and resourceful. People are\nalways telling me that. Also, I’m adept at solving complex problems,\nbecause I can see solutions in a dif ferent", + " way than everyone else.\nW h a t d o y o u m e a n b y d i f f e r e n t ?\nEinstein once said that you can’t solve a problem with the same\nmind-set as when you create d it. Or something like that", + ". I think that’s\nexactly right. That’ s why I always approach any problem with new,\nfresh eyes. My customers always appreciate my creative thinking.\nAnd I’m really good at winning people over. I’ve al", + "ways found it easy\nto charm people; it is a kind of natural talent actually . I know lots of\npeople; I always have. And I’m great at public speaking. In school, I\nwas president of the student council ", + "and often spoke to the entire\nschool.\nT h e e n t i r e s c h o o l ?\nYes, to all the students. Or not to all, not really . Okay , usually to\nmy grade. All the freshmen. But there was always a great", + "\natmosphere, and people liked it. Since then, I just love talking in front\nof people. I’m often asked to be the spokesman in dif ferent contexts.\nC a n y o u g i v e m e s o m e e x a m p l e s ?", + "\nOh yes. When there are projects at work, for example. I’m always\nthe one to report back to our bosses. I give a great presentation at\nclient meetings, too. If there are several of us from the firm, I", + " do the\ntalking.\nW h a t d o t h e o t h e r s t h i n k a b o u t t h a t ?\nNo problem. They like avoid ing it. Lots of people have difficulty\ntalking in front of people, as you probably know .", + " Were you a\npsychologist? I know a girl who’s a psychologist. She works at a\nprison; seems very interestin g. She says most of the prisoners are\npretty miserabl e, which isn’t hard to believe. I would", + "n’t make it being\nlocked away like that.\nI ’ m n o t a c t u a l l y a p s y c h o l o g i s t . I ’ m a b e h a v i o r a l s p e c i a l i s t .\nThere was one thing in the book that I didn’t", + " understand—areas\nfor improvement.\nW h a t d i d y o u t h i n k t h a t m e a n t ?\nThe book talked about how Yellows are quick to make decisions,\nand that’s true. But I disagre e with the idea ", + "that my decisions aren’t\nwell thought out. I’m very analytically inclined. I always do thorough\nresearch. I gather all the facts before I decide on anything. So in that\nregard the report book was of ", + "f base.\nI u n d e r s t a n d . A r e t h e r e a n y o t h e r d i s c r e p a n c i e s ?\nThat I use too many words when I criticize. That’ s completely\nwrong. I’m very concise and articulate,", + " so I don’t think that was\naccurate. Also the bit about following instincts and going with your\ngut—that’ s actually a good thing, not a weakness.\nT o g o m o r e o n f e e l i n g t h a n o n ", + "f a c t s ?\nExactly . Huma ns are emotional beings. So we should use our\nfeelings. Especially me. I’m very intuitive, so it’s something I’m really\ngood at. Not everyone has good instincts, so that’ s ", + "a real asset.\nT h a t m a y b e t r u e . D o y o u t h i n k p e o p l e c a n d e v e l o p t h e i r i n s t i n c t s o v e r\nt i m e ?\nNo. It’s someth ing you’re born with. You either", + " have it, like me, or\nyou don’t.\nT h e n i t i s t o o l a t e t o d o a n y t h i n g a b o u t i t ?\nNo, it’ s not too late. That’ s was not what I meant.\nB u t y o u s a i d i f p e o ", + "p l e d i d n ’ t h a v e a g u t f e e l i n g t h e y c o u l d n ’ t d e v e l o p t h a t\ns k i l l ?\nOkay , maybe I was exaggerating. But it’ s definitely important!\nD o y o u e v e r ", + " n e e d t o k e e p e m o t i o n s i n c h e c k a n d u s e l o g i c i n s t e a d ?\nOh yes, absolutely . It’s very important to think logically and\nrationally . I always say that. You ha", + "ve to look at what works and go\nfrom there. I think that it’ s easier for someone like me, who has some\nexperience. I have been a salesperson for many years, so I know\nwhat to take into account.\nI ’ m", + " s o r r y , b u t I a m a l i t t l e c o n f u s e d . J u s t n o w y o u t o l d m e t h a t i t w a s o n l y\ng u t f e e l i n g t h a t w a s i m p o r t a n t . H o w d o", + " y o u r e c o n c i l e t h o s e t w o t h i n g s ?\nYou’re twisting my words. I never said that you shouldn’t use\nlogic. [At this point, Håkan crosses his hands over his chest and\ncompresses h", + "is lips.] What I’m saying is that you should go on gut\nfeeling. [Pause.] And facts.\nL e t ’ s m o v e o n . W h a t w a s t h e m o s t p r a c t i c a l t h i n g y o u l e a r n e d a f t", + " e r\nr e a d i n g t h e b o o k ?\nThat Blues are boring. Though I already knew that beforehand. I\njust didn’t know that they were Blue. But those red-tape jackasses,\nwell … I remember once I was wo", + "rking on this project. Nothing too\ncomplicated, and we’d already done the same thing before. A special\nway to sell a new product line. We had a couple of Blue guys on the\nteam. They were smart, well i", + "nformed, and everything, but they\nnever got started on the job. They planned and wrote lists and made\ncalculations and messed around with details. But they didn’t actually\ndo anything!\nM a y b e t h ", + "e y w e r e n ’ t a s g o o d a t u s i n g t h e i r g u t f e e l i n g ?\nWhat do you mean?\nS o y o u f i n d i t h a r d t o w o r k w i t h B l u e s ?\nThey can’t keep up with me, ", + "that’ s all.\nH a s w h a t y o u l e a r n e d i n t h e b o o k a f f e c t e d y o u r p e r s o n a l l i f e i n a n y w a y ?\nNo. I’m the same as I always. I’ve got lots of friends. ", + "The parties\nwe organize at home are legendary . The neighbors talk about them\nfor months afterwards.\nS o y o u i n v i t e t h e n e i g h b o r s , t o o ? T h a t s o u n d s v e r y n i c ", + "e .\nOh, no way! They’re boring as hell.\nB u t w h a t d o t h e n e i g h b o r s t a l k a b o u t t h e n ? I f t h e y d i d n ’ t e v e n c o m e t o\nt h e p a r t y ?\n[Pause.] W ell", + ", man, who knows? Ha-ha!\nW h a t a d v i c e w o u l d y o u g i v e t h e p e o p l e w h o m e e t y o u ? W h a t s h o u l d t h e y\nc o n s i d e r ?\nWho meet me?\nY e s . H o w w o ", + "u l d y o u l i k e t h o s e a r o u n d y o u t o r e a c t ?\nLet me tell you. Don’t take life so seriously . I mean, we live only\nonce. People should remember that. We should all let ourselv", + "es\nhave fun at the same time. And don’t caught up in little things all the\ntime. Move on. Don’t get hung up on things. I don’t. Life’s just a\njoyride.\nO k a y , t h a t ’ s w h a t y o u b e l i e", + " v e . B u t w h a t a d v i c e w o u l d y o u g i v e t o t h o s e\nw h o m e e t y o u ? H o w w o u l d y o u l i k e t o b e t r e a t e d ?\nWith a smile. Y ou can get very far ", + "with a smile.\nA n d w h e n i t c o m e s t o w o r k ? H o w w o u l d y o u l i k e t o b e t r e a t e d t h e r e ?\nSame thing I just said. With a smile. The rest will always work out", + ".\n[ P a u s e . ] O k a y . T h e r e a r e n ’ t a n y p e r f e c t p e o p l e . W e a l l h a v e o u r f a u l t s a n d\ns h o r t c o m i n g s , s o w h a t w o u l d y o u s a", + " y y o u r w e a k n e s s e s a r e , d o y o u t h i n k ?\nI don’t usually think in that way. My focus has always been on\npositive things. I like to emphasize the good things in life. If ever", + "yone\nwent around thinking about what doesn’t work, then nothing would\nget done, right?\nT h a t ’ s l o g i c a l , b u t e v e r y b e h a v i o r p r o f i l e h a s w e a k n e s s e s . T h", + " e y d o n ’ t j u s t\ng o a w a y b e c a u s e w e a v o i d t a l k i n g a b o u t t h e m .\nThat’ s not what I mean. What I meant is that you shouldn’t focus\non nega tive things. It’s be", + "tter to emphasize the positive. God knows\nthere’ s enough depressing stuff in the world already , right? Take, for\ninstance, Green behavior . They worry about everything. They see\ndanger absolu tely ", + "everywher e. I mean, you can’t go around being\nanxious all the time. It doesn’ t work like that. I have a neighbor who’s\nafraid of everything. Especially new things, which are the things that\nI’m good", + " at. Sometimes I think he’s even scared of his own shadow .\nOr think about Blue behavio r. Risk-phobic! Everything is a risk for\nthem. Even if you know the result you’ll get, they’re still focused on\n", + "the risks. That’ s totally incomprehensible to me.\nY o u ’ r e a b s o l u t e l y r i g h t ! G r e e n s a r e n ’ t i n c l i n e d t o c h a n g e t h i n g s , B l u e s g e t\ns t u c k", + " a n a l y z i n g r i s k s . D o y o u s e e a n y w e a k n e s s e s i n R e d b e h a v i o r ?\nCantankerous. That’ s what I think about Reds. Lots of them are\nactually quite nasty . Su", + "re, they’re result oriented and whatnot, but\nthere’ s no need to be rude to get things done. Some of them can be\nso short. You know , you send them a nice long text messag e, and\nthe reply you get is ", + "just: “Okay .” It takes five seconds to write a\nlonger message, it doesn’t cost anything, and it’s so much more\npersonable! I’m always very careful about how I express myself.\nS o y o u ’ v e a n a ", + "l y z e d t h e w e a k n e s s e s i n R e d s , G r e e n s , a n d B l u e s . D o y o u\nt h i n k t h a t t h e r e a r e a n y a r e a s f o r d e v e l o p m e n t f o r Y e l ", + "l o w b e h a v i o r ?\nYeaaah … it all depends on self-awareness. Without self-\nawareness, things can get a little crazy . [Pause.]\nA r e y o u t h i n k i n g o f a n y t h i n g i n p a r t ", + "i c u l a r ?\nThe part about being a bad listener . That’ s important, ’cause if\nyou’re not aware of it, then the conversation can go south. Though\nsometimes you just can’t sit around and listen. A lo", + "t of times I’m\nforced to take command in meetings and run the show or else\nnothing will happen. But I can keep things moving along, so it works\nout very well.\nO k a y , s o s o m e Y e l l o w s c", + " a n l e a r n t o l i s t e n b e t t e r . W h a t d o t h i n g s l o o k l i k e\nf o r y o u ? D o y o u t h i n k y o u h a v e a n y w e a k n e s s e s y o u c o u l d b e ", + "w o r k i n g o n ?\n[A very long pause sets in.]\nNothing that comes to mind.\nE l i s a b e t h E m p l o y e e a t a P u b l i c H e a l t h - C a r e O r g a n i z a t i o n A G r e e n w i", + " t h s o m e\nE l e m e n t s o f B l u e . S h e H a s a H i n t o f Y e l l o w b u t N o R e d a t A l l .\nW h a t d o y o u t h i n k o f t h i s t o o l ? D I S A l a n g u a", + " g e ?\nIt was fun to read the book! I felt like I already knew a lot about\nmy behavior , but I think this has made it even clearer . Now I know\nthat Reds think I’m stubborn, and that I’m a bit cautiou", + "s by nature.\nBut I want everyone to be in agreement. Cooperation is important to\nme, and I think everyone should feel like that.\nW h a t d i d y o u t a k e a w a y f r o m t h e b o o k ?\nMy s", + "on gave me the book as a birthday present. He’s so kind, he\nalways gives me something, even though I said I don’t want any\npresents. He’s unemployed and has some money troubles, but Filip\nis caring. ", + "It took me a while to get started reading the book. It was\nactually a little hard for me to get into it, mostly because I was\ninterrupted all the time. But once I got going, I enjoyed it! There are\nsu", + "ch funny examples. I read the sections about my husband’ s colors\naloud to him, and we laughed a lot.\nW h a t c o l o r s d o y o u t h i n k h e h a s ?\nOh, he’s Yellow . And Blue. At the same ", + "time, actually . Can\nsomeone be like that?\nY e s . I t ’ s a b s o l u t e l y p o s s i b l e . W h a t d i d y o u t h i n k w a s f u n n y ?\nThe parts about him being optimistic about tim", + "e. He always\nbelieves that he’ll get way more done than he actually does. And\nthen we hit traffic the second we get in the car. Or he hops into the\nshower three minutes before guests start arriving. ", + "Things like that.\nBut that optimism is part of the reason I fell for him thirty years ago.\nHe’s a good guy , my T ommy .\nW h a t w i l l y o u t a k e w i t h y o u i n t h e f o r m o f p r", + " a c t i c a l k n o w l e d g e ?\nThat I get on well with other Greens, which is good, because\nthere are so many of us! I liked the part about how Greens take care\nof each other all the time. That’", + "s important. You’ve got to do that. But\nnowadays it feels as if everyo ne is becoming more and more selfish,\nbut I don’t think it will stay like that in the long run. I also read a lot\nabout the Yello", + "ws, like my husband, and about Blues, like my sister .\nShe is very straitlaced. V ery rigid and a little bit uninterested.\nU n i n t e r e s t e d i n w h a t ?\nIn the rest of the world, really . Sh", + "e never asks how things are\ngoing, and hardly calls you on your birthday .\nH a r d l y c a l l s ? D o e s t h a t m e a n s h e d o e s n ’ t c a l l y o u o n y o u r b i r t h d a y ?\nWe", + "ll, she does . But it feels like she’s doing it out of obligation\nrather than out of genuine interest. And she can be really critical as\nwell. Tommy redid our back deck a few years ago. Then Eivor cam", + "e\n—she is my sister—and the first thing she did was start criticizing his\nwork.\nW h a t d i d s h e s a y ?\nThe first words out of her mouth were to point out that the deck\nrailing was two degrees ", + "of f from being level.\nW a s i t ?\nWell, it was a tiny bit crooked. But why did she have to point that\nout? He’d been working on the deck for several weeks, and instead\nof complimenting his hard wor", + "k, she just started criticizing\neverything.\nS o i t w a s n ’ t j u s t t h e r a i l i n g t h a t s h e c r i t i c i z e d ?\n[Elisabeth shakes her head.]\nW h a t d o y o u t h i n k a b", + " o u t R e d s ?\nYes … they’re okay , in their own way . [Pause.]\nW h a t d o y o u m e a n ?\nThey’re very efficient. They get a lot done and they’re quick.\nSometimes I wish I had a little more of", + " that ambition in me, but I\ndon’t. I’m just me.\nB u t y o u t h i n k i t m i g h t b e h e l p f u l t o b e a l i t t l e R e d — s o m e t i m e s ?\nYes, sure. But you are who you are. A", + "nd they can be a bit …\ntough.\nH o w a r e t h e y t o u g h ?\nWell, a little bit insensitive in certain situations. Our department\nhead is probably a Red. He’ll say just about anything. And the\nsur", + "geons are terrible to deal with. They boss people around however\nthey want.\nH o w d o e s t h a t a f f e c t y o u ?\nIt’s hard for me to deal with conflict. You can’t avoid it completely ,\nI know", + " that, but it’s difficult when everyone is butting heads all the\ntime.\nS o e v e r y o n e i s a t l o g g e r h e a d s a l l t h e t i m e ?\nNot really everyone. And not all the time of cours", + "e. But we\ndefinitely have communicatio n problems. There’ s a bad atmosphere,\nand the manag ement doesn’ t listen. A lot of us are suffering in that\nwork environment. I was on sick leave last year .\n", + "H a v e y o u t a k e n t h i s u p w i t h y o u r b o s s ?\nWe tried to, five years ago. It didn’t help much. It got better for a\nwhile, but then things just went back to normal.\nO k a y . S", + " o h o w a r e y o u f e e l i n g n o w ?\nIt’s all right. We have a great team of people at work, and that’s\nimportant. W e stick together . Many of us have been working there for\na long time an", + "d we wouldn’t want to leave.\nW h a t d o y o u t h i n k a b o u t y o u r o w n c o l o r ? A s a G r e e n h o w d o y o u g e t o n\nw i t h t h e o t h e r c o l o r s ?\nWell, the", + " Reds are tricky of course. They don’t like Greens,\nthough there are a lot more of us. They complain about us; I’ve\nheard this personally . They say things; they call us names\nunnecessarily .\nW h a t ", + " d o y o u m e a n b y t h a t ? C a n y o u g i v e a s p e c i f i c e x a m p l e ?\nI don’t have a specific example, but it’s something you just know .\nYou feel it when you’re dissatisfie", + "d. It kind of hangs in the air .\nY o u s a i d t h a t y o u r b o s s w a s R e d ?\nNot my immediate boss, but the head of the depa rtment.\nEmphatically Red.\nA n d h o w d o y o u k n o w ", + "t h a t ?\nWell, he is. It’s clear as day. He walks quickly , talks quickly . Very\ndemanding. Goal oriented. Dif ficult. He’ s made cuts.\nI f y o u i m p l e m e n t c u t s , y o u ’ r e t o u g ", + "h ?\nDefinitely .\nS o h o w a r e t h i n g s g o i n g w i t h t h e h e a d o f t h e d e p a r t m e n t t h e n ?\nI don’t know . I’ve never spoken to him directly . But you just know .\nY", + " o u j u s t k n o w ?\nWe’ve heard about other employees who got into hot water with\nhim.\nW h a t h a p p e n e d t h e n ?\nOne of them has been harshly reprimanded for little things like\narriving", + " late. She was called into the office immediately . But not me.\nI’m always on time.\nS o s o m e o n e d i d n ’ t c o m e o n t i m e f o r w o r k a n d w a s c r i t i c i z e d f o r t ", + "h a t ?\nShe got a telling-of f.\nW h a t w a s s a i d ?\nI wasn’t there, of course, and didn’t hear it, but she told me that it\nshouldn’t have been handled like that.\nD o y o u t h i n k i t ’ s ", + " o k a y t o b e l a t e f o r w o r k ?\nNo, it’ s not okay .\nB u t i s n ’ t i t t h e h e a d o f t h e d e p a r t m e n t ’ s r e s p o n s i b i l i t y t o c o r r e c t b e h a ", + "v i o r\nl i k e t h a t ?\nI guess so, but it depends on how you do it.\nD i d h e s c r e a m a n d s h o u t ?\nNo, but he said that no one was allowed to be late, and if she\ncame in late again, s", + "he would get a warning.\nH o w m a n y t i m e s h a d s h e c o m e l a t e ?\nOh, she’ s never on time.\nO k a y . W h a t w o u l d y o u l i k e o t h e r p e o p l e t o k n o w a b o", + " u t y o u w h e n t h e y\nm e e t y o u i n r e a l l i f e ? H o w w o u l d y o u l i k e t o b e t r e a t e d ?\nWell, it would be great if people understood that some of us want\nto ", + "take it easy. And that I don’t enjoy things changing all the time. I’d\nlike to get a chance to get to know people a little bit before we just\ndive into work. Let’s grab a coffee, chat for a while. It’", + "s nice to know\npeople as people, and then we can get back to business.\nA n y t h i n g e l s e ?\nYes, we Greens aren’t great at dealing with conflicts. We need to\nlearn to handle that better .\nS t e ", + "f a n E c o n o m i s t W o r k i n g a t t h e H e a d q u a r t e r s o f a V e r y L a r g e C o m p a n y ,\nw i t h O f f i c e s i n S e v e r a l E u r o p e a n C o u n t r i e s", + " . B l u e w i t h S o m e H i n t s o f R e d . N o\nY e l l o w o r G r e e n .\nW h a t d o y o u t h i n k o f t h i s t o o l ? D I S A l a n g u a g e ?\nIt’s quite an interesting ", + "conce pt. It seems like there’ s been a lot of\nresearch done on the topic, which I find exciting. I’ve seen a variation\nof this tool before, but that system categorized people by assigning\ndifferent ", + "letter combinations. It would be interesting to compare the\ntwo models.\nT h e r e a r e s e v e r a l d i f f e r e n t t o o l s a v a i l a b l e . M o s t o f t h e m a r e g r o u n d e ", + "d i n\nt h e s a m e b a s i c r e s e a r c h , b u t a s t i m e w e n t o n t h e y d e v e l o p e d d i f f e r e n t l y . T h e\nt o o l I u s e i s p a r t i c u l a r l y a c ", + "c u r a t e .\nDo you mean with regard to reliability or validity?\nB o t h . I ’ d a l s o r e c o m m e n d M a r s t o n ’ s b o o k E m o t i o n s o f N o r m a l P e o p l e i f\ny o u ’ r ", + "e c u r i o u s t o l e a r n m o r e . W h a t c o n c l u s i o n s h a v e y o u d r a w n a f t e r\nr e a d i n g t h e b o o k ?\nIt was interesting to see how the author structured it", + ". He wrote\nabout Reds first, then about Yellows, Greens, and Blues. Each new\ntopic was explained in reference to the four dif ferent colors. That was\ngood because it means you don’t get bored reading", + " about any one\nspecific color . And I noticed that there was always just about the\nsame number of pages on each color , which is pretty impressive. I\nwonder how he managed it?\nR e g a r d i n g p a t", + " t e r n s o f b e h a v i o r , w h a t h a v e y o u l e a r n e d s o f a r ?\nThat people are different. I knew that already , of course , but it\nwas interesting to see exact ly how we dif", + "fer. And there were good\nexamples in the book. For instance, I was particularly interested in\nRed behavior .\nW h a t a r e y o u r t h o u g h t s o n t h a t ?\nTheir tremendous drive to move for", + "ward. I have a colleague with\nexactly that kind of attitude and drive. Always moving forward,\nalways first in line. His ability to make decisions quickly is very\nimpressive. He ends up making a lot of", + " mistakes, of course, but he\ncorrects them quickly , so I don’t think it’ s a huge problem.\nD o y o u w o r k w e l l w i t h R e d s ?\nPretty well, I think. Sure, they’re often careless, as I sa", + "id, but you\ncan help them be more exact ing. My role is usually to make sure we\nstick to the plan, and that’s not something Reds are great at. But\nthey’re often quite good at improvising, which is a v", + "aluabl e skill. And\nthey’re brave.\nI t s o u n d s a s i f y o u d o n ’ t h a v e a n y m a j o r p r o b l e m s w i t h R e d b e h a v i o r ?\nNo. It depends on what you mean by major", + " , but I’d say I don’t\nhave any big problems with them. But, having said that, I think they\nhave considerably more dif ficulty dealing with people like me.\nW h a t d o y o u m e a n ?\nI want everyt", + "hing well structured. Zero mistakes. In this business,\nwe work with finances and there’s no margin for error. This industry\ndemands a rather meticulous type of person. If I’ve understood the\nbook cor", + "rectly , Reds aren’t interested in details, which is basically\nwhat my work amounts to. There would be enormous consequences\nif I were to be careless with decimal places. It just can’t happen.\nO k a y", + " . H o w a b o u t t h e o t h e r c o l o r s ? H o w d o y o u g e t a l o n g w i t h G r e e n s ?\nFairly well. Both of us—at least according to the book—are\nintroverts, which I think ", + "is a positive. Then you can devote yourself to\nwork rather than just lolling around chatting. [Pause.]\nB u t G r e e n s l i k e c h a t t i n g .\nThat’ s true, they do. I don’t, though. Unless it’", + " s work related. Then\nwe can talk for a long time. What I don’t like about Greens is that\nthey have a tendency to make a pretense of working. They are often\naway from their desks, doing something els", + "e instead of working, and\nthat slows everything down. It’ s a problem.\nD o y o u f i n d t h i s i s a c o m m o n p r o b l e m i n y o u r w o r k p l a c e ?\nYes.\nW h a t h a v e y o u ", + " d o n e t o t a c k l e t h e p r o b l e m ?\nNothing.\nW h y n o t ?\nIt’s not my responsibility . It’s a management issue.\nH a v e y o u r a i s e d t h e i s s u e w i t h t h e m a n a ", + "g e m e n t t e a m ?\nNo.\nS o s o m e o f y o u r c o w o r k e r s p r e t e n d t o w o r k , a n d t h i s s l o w s t h e w h o l e\nt e a m d o w n . Y o u ’ v e o b s e r v e d t", + " h i s b u t h a v e n ’ t d o n e a n y t h i n g a b o u t i t ?\nThat’ s right.\nB u t w h y n o t ?\nLike I said before, it’s a management problem. I don’t have any\nauthority to act on the is", + "sue.\nW h a t w o u l d y o u d o i f y o u h a d t h e a u t h o r i t y ?\nThat’ s a hypothetical question.\nY e s , b u t l e t ’ s j u s t s a y y o u d i d .\nBut that’s not the actual ", + "situation. I’m not interested in\nmanagement, so I don’t know what I would do.\nJ u s t o u t o f c u r i o s i t y — i f y o u r b o s s a s k e d y o u f o r a d v i c e o n e x a c t l y ", + "t h i s\ni s s u e , a n e m p l o y e e w h o d o e s n ’ t d o w h a t t h e y s h o u l d , w h a t a d v i c e w o u l d\ny o u g i v e ?\nPurely hypothetically?\nY e s .\nI’d ask the boss ", + "to follow up with the problem employee more\nfrequently . Give them feedback on what’ s not working, and demand\nthat they change the problematic behavior .\nO k a y . C a n w e t a l k a l i t t l ", + "e b i t a b o u t Y e l l o w b e h a v i o r ?\n[At this point, Stefan crosses his hands on his chest and nods.]\nH o w d o y o u p e r c e i v e p e o p l e w i t h d i s t i n c t i v e Y ", + "e l l o w b e h a v i o r ?\nThey’re a bit annoying. I just wish that they’d take things much\nmore seriously . Work, to start with. Of course, I realize that you also\nneed to have fun at work, but not", + " for the majority of the day. You\ncan’t fool aroun d all the time during working hours. The worst thing is\nthat they just wander around making a noise, bothering everyone. At\ntimes they can be very en", + "tertaining, but working is working and\nplaying is playing. There’ s also the issue of their total inability to get\nthe facts right. I think they’re very incompetent when it comes to\nfactual issues. Th", + "ey don’t take anything seriously , and that leads to\nlots of mistakes. For instance, if a pure Yellow individual worked as a\ncontroller how would that work out? He wouldn’t even know what to\nlook for.", + " But the really seriou s issue is that they say so many things\nthat aren’t true. For examp le, they might say that they double-\nchecked certain details without ever actually doing it. Or insist that\nt", + "hey’re not careless despite the fact that everyone can see that they\nmost definitely are. The whole thing is wildly frustrating.\nH a v e y o u e v e r r e a l l y g o t t e n t o k n o w a Y e", + " l l o w ?\nHow can you avoid it? They pour out their life story to whoever\nthey like, with a total lack of discernment. They think that all of us are\ninterested in their summer house, or their puppies", + ", or their kid’s new\ntooth, or their brother ’s new fishing boat. But all of that is completely\nand totally irrelevant.\nD o y o u e v e r h a n g o u t w i t h Y e l l o w s ?\nNo. I tend to avoi", + "d them.\nW h y ?\nI wouldn’t be able to stand all that talking. They’d talk me to\ndeath. I can’t listen to them yammering on and on about everything\nand nothing. And you never know if what they’re sayin", + "g is actually\ntrue. That irritates me. They hyperbolize all the time; five minutes\nwith a Yellow and I’m at my wit’s end. My brother-in-law always talks\nabout his new position at work. But he describ", + "es it differently every\ntime. I’ve asked him what his title is, because I didn’t understand\nwhat he actua lly does, but he always gets very vague. One time I\nasked how the company was growing and I go", + "t a long harangue\nabout how they were just about to take out a world patent on\nsomething. But he wouldn’t tell me how that was going to happen\nand what the details of the project were. It was hopeless", + ".\nM a y b e h e d i d n ’ t k n o w t h e a n s w e r ?\nThen he should have said so! “I don’t know .” I mean how hard\ncan that be? Instead, he exploded with a hundred million things I\nwasn’t inte", + "rested in.\nW h a t a d v i c e w o u l d y o u g i v e t o o t h e r s t o h e l p t h e m i n t e r a c t b e t t e r w i t h\ny o u ?\nGood question. I’d advise them to please respect my d", + "esire to be\nprofessional and not devote valuable time to things that aren’t work\nrelated. They should be well prepared when they come to me with\nquestions. I need lots of background information to be ", + "able to give a\nproper answer .\nW h a t a r e y o u r g r e a t e s t w e a k n e s s e s ?\nLet me think. Sometimes I get way too caught up in details. I\nknow that. I don’t think that it’s an issue", + " at work, but in my private life\nit can be a problem.\nH o w s o ?\nMy wife is rather Red. She thinks that I’m slow at everything, and\nshe’s right. I tend to be suspicious of new ideas. Not that I can’", + "t\nchange, but I often see problems where none actually exist.\nSometimes I find it difficult to make decisions and I get anxious. We\nreally need a new television at home, because the current one is on\n", + "the fritz. But there are so many different models, and I haven’t had\nthe time to do proper researc h. My wife thinks we just need to take\nten minutes and go buy a new one. But what if it isn’t good? H", + "ow do\nI know if it’s the type we need? After all, it’s a big investment. So\nwe’ve just been making do with the old one.\nA n y l a s t t h o u g h t s ?\nIt’s an interes ting concept, as I said. I’m g", + "oing to order the\nMarston book.\n2 0\nA Quick Little Quiz to See What You’ve\nLearned\nHere’ s a chance for you to test your skills! This is a fun thing that you\ncan use to test out your acquaintances. Ho", + "w much do you really\nknow about how people work? I hope the answers you get will lead\nto interesting discussions, either around the water cooler or at the\ndinner table at home.\n 1. Which combination ", + "of profiles would naturally agree on a social\nlevel?\nTwo Y ellows\nTwo Reds\nYellow and Red\nBlue and Green\nAll of the above\n 2. Which combination of profiles naturally work well together?\nGreen with an", + "yone else\nTwo Y ellows\nTwo Reds\nBlue and Red\nAll of the above\n 3. Which profile will always prefer to be the head of a project?\nRed\nYellow\nGreen\nBlue\n 4. Which profile would make the best surgeon?\nR", + "ed\nYellow\nGreen\nBlue\n 5. Which person would enjoy giving a speech the most?\nRed\nYellow\nGreen\nBlue\n 6. Which person would know exactly where he saved that email\nfrom his boss?\nRed\nYellow\nGreen\nBlue\n ", + " 7. Which person would want to do more tests or get more\ninformation before making a decision?\nRed\nYellow\nGreen\nBlue\n 8. Which person can you always rely on to arrive on time?\nRed\nYellow\nGreen\nBlue\n ", + " 9. Which person doesn’t follow the rulebook to get a job done?\nRed\nYellow\nGreen\nBlue\n10. Which person would be the most willing to try something new to\nget the job done?\nRed\nYellow\nGreen\nBlue\n11. Whi", + "ch person will remember personal criticism the longest?\nRed\nYellow\nGreen\nBlue\n12. Which person is the least organized but knows exactly where to\ngo to get what he needs?\nRed\nYellow\nGreen\nBlue\n13. Whic", + "h profile always wants to make decisions?\nRed\nYellow\nGreen\nBlue\n14. Which profile wears the latest fashions?\nRed\nYellow\nGreen\nBlue\n15. Which profile would enjoy new challenges the most?\nRed\nYellow\nGre", + "en\nBlue\n16. Which profile would be the quickest to judge other people?\nRed\nYellow\nGreen\nBlue\n17. Which combination of profiles would form the best team?\nTwo Greens\nTwo Reds\nYellow and Red\nBlue and Gre", + "en\nA mixture of all the colors\n18. Which profile will probably talk the most?\nRed\nYellow\nGreen\nBlue\n19. Which profile would assimilate new ideas the quickest?\nRed\nYellow\nGreen\nBlue\n20. Which profile w", + "ould delegate a task but then still do it himself?\nRed\nYellow\nGreen\nBlue\n21. Which profile is the best listener?\nRed\nYellow\nGreen\nBlue\n22. Which profile wouldn’t miss the last step of the instructions", + "?\nRed\nYellow\nGreen\nBlue\n23. Which profile is most common in your social circle?\nRed\nYellow\nGreen\nBlue\nThe answers can be found on page 269.\nMore About Question 23\nAt work, you can’t always choose the ", + "people you’ll work with.\nThey’re just there, whether you would have chosen them or not. In\nthe professional world, you have to play a good game with the cards\nthat you have. But outside of work, when ", + "you can choose who you\nwill spend your time with, what kind of people do you choose? Have\nyou chosen people who are similar to yourself, or do you hang out\nwith people who are your total opposite?\nOf ", + "course, there are no right or wrong answers, but it’s interesting\nto think about it. When we can choose, whom do we choose?\nAnd how do we choose the partner we want to spend the rest of\nour lives with", + "? Your mirror image, or your opposite? A fascinating\nquestion, right?\n2 1\nA Final Example from Everyday Life\nPerhaps the Most Enlightening T eam Project in the History of the\nWorld\nOkay , my friend—it", + "’ s time to summarize all of this. To do that, I’d like\nto tell you about a fascinating experience I had a few years ago.\nI was leading a conference, and I got it into my head to do an\nexperiment with", + " a group of managers who were working at a telecom\ncompany . The participants were professional and clever , and all of\nthem were successful in their respective fields. They had excellent\nqualificatio", + "ns and were destined for brilliant careers. I’d already\nmade profiles for all of them— they had completed a self-assessment\nthat showed which communication style they had.\nI divided the managers into", + " groups with similar behavior profiles. I\nimagined that it would be easy for them to get along. They ’d certainly\nunderstand one another . There were twenty people in total. I called\nthe groups Red, Y", + "ellow , Gree n, and Blue. I mean I had to call them\nsomething.\nThey had to solve a speci ally constructed problem that was\nconnected to their field and required cooperation. They were given\nan hour to", + " complete it. I explained the challenge and all the groups\neagerly accepted the instructions and got to work.\nAfter the groups had been working for a while, I went around and\nchecked out what was goin", + "g on in the various teams.\nIn the Red Group, the noise level was high. Three peop le were\nstanding and loudly explaini ng why they were right. Two of them\nwere in the middle of an argument, while the", + " final person had\ndecided to work alone. Completely unconcerned about the shouting\nmatch three feet away , he was writing so fast that his pen was\nstarting to spark.\nWhen I asked if everything was oka", + "y in there, everything\nsuddenly stopped and all of them looked at me in surprise.\n“Is everything okay?” I repeated anxiously .\n“Peachy!” one of the belligerent guys said grimly . “We’re almost\ndone he", + "re.”\nI left them and continued on. The Yellow Group was also working\nfrantically . You could almost taste the energy in the room. Things\nwere happening! The discuss ions were lively , with everyone tr", + "ying to\nconvince the others of their own position. While the Reds were mad\nas hell with one another , there was nothing but smiles here. Three of\nthe Yellows were jockeying for space at the whiteboard", + ", and another\ntold me an amusing anecdote that had nothing to do with the subject\nat hand (but it was actually hilarious). The fifth manager in the Yellow\nGroup was doodling on a piece of paper and s", + "ending emails on his\ncell phone.\nI left them to pay a visit to the Green Group. Inside the room,\nthere was a strange calmness. Their voices were quiet, and they\nwere all listening rather than speaking", + ". The chief goal was stability\nand security . Five of the managers were sitting quietly , listening to\none of their colleagues telling a sad story about his dog who had\ntragically died of old age that", + " same winter . He was still missing his\nlife companion.\nThe last manager had sketched out some suggestions about how\nthey could solve the task I’d given them, but every sugges tion ended\nwith a questi", + "on mark. She needed more input, and it looked like she\nwould have to ask for it. She was in trouble.\nI contin ued on. In the last group, the Blue Group, the room was\nalmost absurdly quiet. After sitt", + "ing with them for three minutes\nwithout anyone uttering so much as a single word, I was seriously\nconcerned. A lot of thought was happening under the surface, but\nthere was no real communication taki", + "ng place.\nA woman was reading silently through the task with her lips\nmoving. I asked if they needed help to get started. I got a few\nhesitant nods in reply . They soon began a very thorough\ndeliberat", + "ion. They would absolutely get to the bottom of things. It\nwas obvious that they were on the right track, but on an extremely\ndetailed level. They discuss ed for a long time what their plan of\naction ", + "should be.\nI remember glancing furtively at the clock. Half the allotted time\nhad passed, but they hadn’t produced anything concrete. Proposals\nhad been put forward, but they’d been rejected by the ot", + "hers on a\nvariety of technicalities. Every word was chosen carefully and the\nadvantages and disadvantages weighed carefully . They were far\nmore interested in doing things properly than in actually g", + "etting\nthings done.\nI left them to their fate and went back to the large conference\nroom.\nBefore the allotted time was up, the Red Group arrived with\ntriumphant grins. They congratulated one another f", + "or being the first\nback. They’d clearly won the test.\nI had to go and fetch all the other groups. The Yellow Group was\nthe slowest. I had to go back twice before they deigned to make an\nappearance. T", + "wo of them were talking on their phones, and the third\nguy only managed to recover after having some cof fee and cake.\nWhen all the groups had returned, I let them present their work.\nThe Red Group we", + "nt triumphantly to the podium. They’d turned\nthe task into a race. They were ready in thirty minutes, even though\nthey had been given an hour. The rest of the time they’d spent\nphon ing around to thei", + "r coworkers, checking what they were doing\nwith their time. It was a sound presentation, a well-organized\nstructure, and properly thoug ht out. But about thirty seconds into the\nreport, it was clear t", + "hat the Red Group had solved a completely\ndifferent problem than what I’d given them. It wasn’t at all what I had\nasked for .\nWhen I asked if they had actually read the instructions, they all\nbegan ar", + "guing . One of the men stated confidently that they’d\nadapted the task to reality . They’d done a brilliant job. He expected\napplause, but when the standing ovation didn’t materialize, the\nmembers of ", + "the group shrugged their shoulders and returned to their\nseats. A second after sitting down, the woman in the group began\nplaying with her phone. A vital text message had to be sent\nimmediately .\nAft", + "er that, it was the Yellow Group’ s turn. This group consisted of\nthree women and two men. All of them smiled and stood at the front.\nWho should begin? A brief deliberation took place before one of th", + "e\nwomen charmed her way to the podium. She quickly plunged into\nher topic, presenting the exciting discussions they’d had for the past\nhour. She spoke for a while about the whole thing being an\ninspir", + "ational exercise; she described how she was going to use the\ninsights she’d gained when she returned to her work. Her\npresentation was very entertaining, and everyone laughed. I was\nalso amused by the", + " woman’ s story , especially considering that it only\nhad one purpose: to camouflage the fact that the group hadn’t solved\nthe task. However , the Yellow Group did manage to get some\napplause, mostly ", + "due to the high entertainment value of their\npresentation.\nNow it was time for the Green Group. It took a while to get\neveryone up to the podium. While the Yellow Group had squabbled\nabout who was go", + "ing first, the Green Group was anxious. “Do all of\nus go up?” “Who should present the report? Should I?” “Shouldn’t\nyou do it?” At least half of the six participants looked as if they had a\nstomachach", + "e. Sure, this was the largest group but, nevertheless,\nthey were all nervous.\nNo one took command. After a moment of low-key deliberations,\none of the men began to speak. He faced the whiteboard most ", + "of the\ntime. He talked softly , turning towards the members of his team for\nsupport. He was so subtle in his observations that the message was\nhopelessly lost. With growing desperation, he looked at", + " his team for\nhelp.\nWhen their presentation was over, not even the Green Group had\nsolved the task, even though they had made more progres s than the\nYellow Group. I asked if everyone in the group was", + " in agreement\nabout the material that was presented.\nThe unfortuna te spokesperson said that he thought that it was\nprobably true that most of them were relatively in agreement. I asked\nthe group, an", + "d they all nodded in unison. At least four of the\nparticipants in the group had grim faces, their arms crossed tightly\naround their bodies—body language that proclaimed they were far\nfrom agreeing wit", + "h what had been said. One of the women looked\nresentfully at the spokesperson. But, by Jove, she was in agreement.\nFinally , the Blue Group marched up in line and stood in\nalphabetical order , accordi", + "ng to a prearranged agenda. Arne went\nthrough the instructions, revealing that there were several points that\nhad made the task challenging. Among other things, he remarked on\nthe sentence structure i", + "n the document that I had handed out—he\nspent most of the time explaining that it was better to say “advisor”\nrather than “adviser ,” although both forms are technically correct—\nand pointed out no fe", + "wer than two additional grammatical errors, on\nthe very first page.\nThen it was Berit’s turn to go through the structure they had\nbased their work on, after being interrupted twice by Arne, who\nbeliev", + "ed that a few minor details needed to be clarified. When Kjell\ntook over, they still weren’t even close to providing a solution to the\nproblem. Stefan didn’t straigh ten out any issues, and when Yolan", + "da\nfinally announced they neede d more time to finish the task properly ,\nchaos erupted in the conference room.\nThe Red Group quickly brand ed the members of the Blue Group\ncomplete idiots, the Yellow", + " Group felt it was the most boring thing\nthey’d ever experienced, and the Green Group just suffered silently\nthrough the whole show .\nConclusions\nThe purpose of the whole exercise was to highlight tha", + "t no group\nshould be composed solely of individuals of the same type. Diversity\nis the only possible route. The best way to put a group of people\ntogether is by mixing dif ferent types of people. This", + " is the only way to\nachieve decent dynamics in any group. This seems intuitive, but\ndespite this, most of the organizations I have encountered fail on this\nfundamental requirement when they recruit pe", + "ople. Managers bring\nin new people who are just like themselves because they understand\neach other .\nThis book has been about explaining exactly why the groups in\nthis example worked the way they did ", + "and giving you the tools to\navoid similar problems in your own life. I hope that you found\npleasure in reading it and joining in this exciting explorat ion of how\npeople functio n, what makes them sim", + "ilar , and what makes them\ndifferent. Beca use we are all different. If you keep your eyes open,\nyou’ll find out exactly how dif ferent.\nThe rest is up to you.\nThe Answers to the Questions in Chapter\n", + "20\n 1. Two Y ellows\n 2. Green with anyone\n 3. Red\n 4. Blue\n 5. Yellow\n 6. Blue\n 7. Blue\n 8. Blue\n 9. Red\n10. Yellow\n11. Green\n12. Yellow\n13. Red\n14. Yellow\n15. Red\n16. Red\n17.", + " A mixture of all the colors\n18. Yellow\n19. Red\n20. Red\n21. Green\n22. Blue\n23. To this there is no given answer , as you might understand.\nFurther Reading\nBlink: The Power of Thinking Without T", + "hinking by Malcolm Gladwell.\nNew Y ork: Back Bay Books, 2007.\nConversation Transformation: Recognize and Overcome the 6 Most\nDestructive Communication Patterns by Ben Benjamin, Amy\nYeager , and Anit", + "a Simon. New York: McGraw-Hill Education,\n2012.\nEmotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ by Daniel\nGoleman. New Y ork: Bantam, 2005.\nFeel the Fear … and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers. N", + "umerous\neditions.\nGet Your Sh*t Together: How to Stop Worrying About What You\nShould Do So You Can Finish What You Need to Do and Start\nDoing What You Want to Do by Sarah Knight. New York: Little,\nBro", + "wn and Company , 2016.\nHow to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie. New York:\nGallery Books, 2004.\nHow to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.\nNumerous editions.\nInfluence: ", + "The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert Cialdini. New\nYork: Harper Business, 2006.\nOutliers: The Story of Success by Malcom Gladwell. New York: Back\nBay Books, 201 1.\nQuiet: The Power of Introvert s ", + "in a World That Can’t Stop Talking by\nSusan Cain. New Y ork: Broadway Books, 2013.\nSocial Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships by\nDaniel Goleman. New Y ork: Bantam, 2007.\nThe 7 Habit", + "s of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in\nPersonal Change by Stephen R. Covey . Numerous editions.\nThe 10 Dumbest Mistakes Smart People Make and How to Avoid\nThem: Simple and Sure Techniques", + " for Gaining Greater Control\nof Your Life by Arthur Freeman. New Y ork: William Morrow , 1993.\nThe Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business\nby Charles Duhigg. New Y ork: Random House", + ", 2014.\nThe Ten Types of Human: A New Understanding of Who We Are,\nand Who We Can Be by Dexter Dias. London: Random House\nUK, 2017.\nTypes of Men by Eduard Spranger . Scottsdale, AZ: Target Training\nIn", + "ternational, 2013.\nIndex\nThe index that appeared in the print version of this title does not\nmatch the pages in your eBook. Please use the search function on\nyour eReading device to search for terms ", + "of interest. For your\nreference, the terms that appear in the print index are listed below .\nA\naccuracy, Blues and\nactivity, Marston’s model and\nadapting\nbehavior when meeting Blues\nbehavior when meet", + "ing Greens\nbehavior when meeting Reds\nbehavior when meeting Yellows\nto Blue behavior\nto Green behavior\noverview of\nto Red behavior\nto Yellow behavior\naggression, Reds and\nair\nalcohol\nambition, Reds an", + "d\nanalytic ability\nanger. See also Temperament\nReds and\napproachability, Yellows and\nassessment, quiz for\nattitudes and approaches, overview of\nAztecs\nB\nbad news. See Feedback\nbalance, Greens and\nbeha", + "vior. See also Core behavior\ncauses of\ndefined\nas toolbox\nwhen meeting Blues\nwhen meeting Greens\nwhen meeting Reds\nwhen meeting Yellows\nblack bile\nblood\nblood pressure\nBlues\naccuracy and\nadapting to\nb", + "ehavior when meeting\nbody language of\ncaution and\ncombining with other colors\ncontrol and\ncriticism and\ndecision-making and\ndescription of\ndetails and\nexcuses and\nfeelings and\ngiving feedback to\nhelpi", + "ng with stress\nas introverts\nintuition and\nlethargy and\nlistening and\nlogic and\nmistakes and\nmodesty and\noverview of\nperception of by others\nperception of by self\npersonal interaction and\npessimism an", + "d\npreparation and\nquality and\nrealism and\nrisks and\nrules and\nsilence and\nspeed and\nspontaneity and\nstress factors for\nstress responses of\nteamwork example and\ntemperament of\ntrust and\nbody language\no", + "f Blues\ngaze and\nof Greens\nhands and\nhead and face and\nimportance of\noverview of\nposture and\nof Reds\nterritory and\nof Yellows\nBonnstetter, Bill\nboredom, Yellows and\nbullying, Reds and\nC\nCarter, Jimmy\n", + "caution, Blues and\nchange\nGreens and\nReds and\nYellows and\nchildren, influences on\ncholeric behavior\nClark, Walter\nClinton, Bill\nclutter, Yellows and\ncombinations\nchallenging\nof colors within individua", + "ls\ncomplementary\neffective\nnatural\noverview of\nproblematic\ncommitment, Greens and\ncommunication. See also Body language\nBlues and\nGreens and\nlisteners and\nwritten\nYellows and\ncompany parties\ncompetiti", + "on, Reds and\ncompliance. See also DISA\nconflict\nGreens and\nReds and\nYellows and\ncontrol\nBlues and\nReds and\ncooperation\nGreens and\nReds and\ncore behavior\nas natural condition\norigins of\ncore values, ov", + "erview of\ncounterquestioning\ncreativity, Yellows and\ncriticism\nBlues and\ndelivery of\nGreens and\nimmunity to\nReds and\nYellows and\ncuriosity, Yellows and\nD\ndeception\ndecision-making\nBlues and\nReds and\nY", + "ellows and\nDeGeneres, Ellen\ndetails\nBlues and\nReds and\nYellows and\ndiligence, Reds and\nDISA (Dominance, Inducement, Submission, Analytic ability) system\nlanguage of\noverview of\nstatistics on use of\ndi", + "sorganization, Yellows and\ndominance. See also DISA\nE\nearly adopters\nearth\nefficiency, Reds and\negocentrism, Yellows and\negotism\nReds and\nYellows and\nEinstein, Albert\nelements\nElisabeth, feedback from", + "\nemails\nemotional intelligence (EI)\nemotional quotient (EQ)\nEmotions of Normal People (Marston)\nempathy, Yellows and\nenergy\nReds and\nYellows and\nengagement, Greens and\nenthusiasm, Reds and\nexcitement,", + " Yellows and\nexclusion, Reds and\nexcuses, Blues and\nF\nface, body language and\nfear, Greens and\nfeedback. See also Criticism\nBlues and\ndelivery of\nfrom Elisabeth\nGreens and\nfrom Håkan\nfrom Helena\nimmun", + "ity to\nReds and\nfrom Stefan\nYellows and\nfeelings, Blues and\nfire\nflattery, Yellows and\nfocus, Yellows and\nfraud\nfriendship\nGreens and\nYellows and\nG\nGandhi, Mahatma\nGates, Bill\ngaze, body language and\n", + "Gellberg, Sune\ngenetic factors\nGreeks\nGreens\nadapting to\nbehavior when meeting\nbody language of\nchange and\ncollective good and\ncombining with other colors\ncommitment and\ncommunication and\nconflict and", + "\ncriticism and\ndescription of\nengagement and\nfear and\nfriendship and\ngiving feedback to\nhelping with stress\nas introverts\nkindness and\nleadership and\nlistening and\nloose ends and\nmistakes and\noverview", + " of\npassivity and\nperception of by others\nperception of by self\npredictability and\nrelationships and\nreliability and\nrepetition and\nresponsibility and\nroutine and\nsecurity and\nspeed and\nspotlight and\n", + "stability and\nstress factors for\nstress responses of\nteamwork and\nteamwork example and\ntemperament of\nthoughtfulness and\ntolerance and\nunknown and\ngroup dynamics, overview of\ngut feelings\nBlues and\nYe", + "llows and\nH\nHåkan, feedback from\nhands, body language and\nhandshakes\nhead, body language and\nHelena, feedback from\nHippocrates\nhonesty, Reds and\nhumiliation, Yellows and\nhumoral pathology\nI\nimpatience", + ", Reds and\ninitiative, Reds and\ninspiration. See also DISA\nintellectual elasticity\nintroverts\nBlues as\nGreens as\nintuition\nBlues and\nYellows and\ninvisibility, Yellows and\nisolation, Yellows and\nJ\nJobs", + ", Steve\nJung, Carl\nK\nkindness, Greens and\nL\nlanguage. See also Body language\nlearning\nleadership, Greens and\nlearning\noverview of\nquiz for assessment of\nlethargy, Blues and\nLevit, Edouard\nliars\nlie de", + "tectors\nlimitations, Reds and\nlistening\nBlues and\ncommunication and\nGreens and\nYellows and\nlogic, Blues and\nloose ends, Greens and\nM\nMarston, William Moulton\nmartyr complex\nmistakes\nBlues and\nGreens a", + "nd\nReds and\nmodesty, Blues and\nmucus\nN\nnegative feedback. See Feedback\nnormal behavior, overview of\nO\nObama, Barack\nObama, Michelle\nO’Connor, Sandra Day\nopinions, Reds and\noptimism\nReds and\nYellows an", + "d\norganization, Yellows and\nP\npassivity\nGreens and\nMarston’s model and\nperception\nof Blues by others\nof Blues by self\nof Greens by others\nof Greens by self\nof Reds by others\nof Reds by self\nof self by", + " others\nof Yellows by others\nof Yellows by self\nperfect world\npersonal space, body language and\npersonal zone\npersonality, behavior and\npersuasion, Yellows and\npessimism\nblack bile and\nBlues and\nphleg", + "m\nphlegmatic behavior\npigeonholing\npigheadedness\npopularity, Yellows and\nposture, body language and\npower, Reds and\npredictability\nGreens and\nReds and\nYellows and\npreparation, Blues and\npublic speakin", + "g, Yellows and\nQ\nquality, Blues and\nquiz, for assessment of learning\nR\nrealism\nBlues and\nReds and\nReds\nadapting to\naggression and\nambition and\nanger and\nbehaving when meeting\nbody language of\nbullying", + " and\nchange and\ncombining with other colors\ncompetition and\nconflict and\ncontrol and\ncooperation and\ncriticism and\ndecision-making and\ndescription of\ndetails and\ndiligence and\nefficiency and\negotism a", + "nd\nenergy and\nenthusiasm and\nexclusion and\ngiving feedback to\nhelping with stress\nhonesty and\nimpatience and\ninitiative and\nlack of limitations and\nlimitations and\nmistakes and\nopinions and\noptimism a", + "nd\noverview of\nperception of by others\nperception of by self\npower and\nrealism and\nrepetition and\nrespect and\nrisks and\nroutine and\nrules and\nscapegoats and\nspeed and\nstress factors for\nstress respons", + "es of\nstrong opinions and\nteamwork example and\ntemperament of\nwinning and\nrelationships\nGreens and\nYellows and\nreliability, Greens and\nrepetition\nfeedback and\nGreens and\nReds and\nrespect, Reds and\nres", + "ponsibility, Greens and\nrhetoric, Yellows and\nRice, Condoleezza\nrisks\nBlues and\nReds and\nRogers, Fred\nRoosevelt, Franklin D.\nroutine\nGreens and\nReds and\nYellows and\nrules\nBlues and\nReds and\nS\nsandwich", + " method\nsanguine behavior\nscapegoats, Reds and\nsecurity, Greens and\nself-centeredness, Yellows and\nsilence, Blues and\nsilent resistance\nskepticism, Yellows and\nslog or split phenomenon\nsocial zone\nspe", + "ed\nBlues and\nGreens and\nReds and\nYellows and\nspontaneity\nBlues and\nYellows and\nspotlight, Greens and\nstability\nDISA and\nGreens and\nStefan, feedback from\nstress factors\nfor Blues\nBlues’ responses to\ndi", + "fferent responses to\nfor Greens\nGreens’ responses to\nhelping Blues with\nhelping Greens with\nhelping Reds with\nhelping Yellows with\noverview of\nfor Reds\nReds’ responses to\nfor Yellows\nYellows’ response", + "s to\nstructure, Yellows and\nsubmission. See also DISA\noverview of\nsurprises, Blues and\nsurrounding factors, behavior and\nT\ntalking, Yellows and\nteamwork. See also Combinations\nexample from everyday li", + "fe\nGreens and\ntemperament. See also Anger\nof Blues\nof Greens\noverview of\nof Reds\nof Yellows\nTeresa (Mother)\nterritory, body language and\nThatcher, Margaret\nthoughtfulness, Greens and\ntime management, ", + "Yellows and\ntolerance, Greens and\ntrouble-shooting, Yellows and\ntrust, Blues and\nTTI Success Insights\nU\nunknown, Greens and\nUtopia\nV\nvalues, core\nW\nwater\nWilliams, Robin\nWilliams, Venus\nWinfrey, Oprah", + "\nwinning, Reds and\nwritten communication\nY\nyellow bile\nYellows\nadapting to\napproachability and\nbehaving when meeting\nbody language of\nboredom and\nclutter and\ncombining with other colors\ncommunication ", + "and\nconflict and\ncreativity and\ncriticism and\ncuriosity and\ndecision-making and\ndescription of\ndetails and\ndisorganization and\negocentrism and\negotism and\nempathy and\nenergy and\nexcitement and\nflatter", + "y and\nfocus and\nfriendship and\ngiving feedback to\nhelping with stress\nhumiliation and\nintuition and\ninvisibility and\nisolation and\nlack of focus and\nlistening and\noptimism, enthusiasm and\noptimism and", + "\norganization and\noverview of\nperception of by others\nperception of by self\npersuasion and\npopularity and\npublic speaking and\nrelationships and\nrhetoric and\nroutine and\nself-centeredness and\nskepticis", + "m and\nspeed and\nspontaneity and\nstress factors for\nstress responses of\nstructure and\ntalking and\nteamwork example and\ntemperament of\nthinking outside the box and\ntime management and\ntrouble-shooting a", + "nd\nAbout the Author\nTHOMAS ERIKSON is an expert on communication. He works with\ndeveloping organizations from a leadership perspective. In the past\neighteen years he has trained more than five thous", + "and executives to\nbe better and more efficient leaders. Thomas has written several\npopular scienc e books on communication and human behavior .\nSurrounded by Idiots is one of Sweden’ s bests elling ", + "nonfiction\nbooks, with hundreds of thousands of copies sold in Sweden alone.\nThe book has been sold in more than thirty-five other languages\naround the world. Y ou can sign up for email updates here.\n", + " \n\n \nThank you for buying this\nSt. Martin's Press ebook.\n \nTo receive special of fers, bonus content,\nand info on new releases and other great reads,\nsign up for our newsletters.\n \nOr visit us onli", + "ne at\nus.macmillan.com/newslettersignup\n \nFor email updates on the author , click here.\n \nFirst published in the United States by St. Martin’ s Essentials, an imprint of St. Martin’ s\nPublishing Group", + "\nSURROUNDED BY IDIOTS. Copyright © 2019 by Thomas Erikson. Foreword copyright © 2019\nby David Bonnstetter . All rights reserved. For information, address St. Martin’ s Publishing\nGroup, 120 Broadway ,", + " New Y ork, NY 10271.\nTranslated by Martin Pender and Rod Bradbury\nwww .stmartins.com\nCover design by Pete Garceau\nThe Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available upon request.\nISB", + "N 978-1-250-17994-4 (hardcover)\nISBN 978-1-250-25517-4 (international, sold outside the U.S., subject to rights availability)\nISBN 978-1-250-17995-1 (ebook)\neISBN 9781250179951\nOur ebooks may be purch", + "ased in bulk for promotional, educational, or business use. Please\ncontact the Macmillan Corporate and Premium Sales Department at 1-800-221-7945,\nextension 5442, or by email at MacmillanSpecialMarket", + "s@macmillan.com .\nFirst published in Sweden as Omgiven av idioter by HOI\nFirst published in the United States by St. Martin’ s Essentials\nFirst U.S. Edition: July 2019\nC o n t e n t s\nTitle Page\nCopy", + "right Notice\nForeword by David Bonnstetter\nIntroduction: The Man Who W as Surrounded by Idiots\n 1. Communication Happens on the Listener ’ s T erms\n 2. Why Are W e the W ay W e Are?\n 3. An Introductio", + "n to the System\n 4. Red Behavior: How to Recognize a Real Alpha and A void\nGetting in His W ay\n 5. Y ellow Behavior: How to Recognize Someone Whose Head Is in\nthe Clouds and Get Him Back to Reality ", + "Again\n 6. Green Behavior: Why Change Is So Dif ficult and How to Get\nAround It\n 7. Blue Behavior: In Pursuit of Perfection\n 8. No One Is Completely Perfect: Strengths and W eaknesses\n 9. Learning New", + " Things: How to Use What Y ou’ve Learned\n10. Body Language: Why How Y ou Move Matters: How Do Y ou\nReally Look?\n1 1. A Real-Life Example: The Company Party— How to\nUnderstand Everyone Y ou Meet\n12. ", + "Adaptation: How to Handle Idiots (i.e., Everyone Who Isn’t like\nYou)\n13. How to Deliver Really Bad News: The Challenge of Speaking\nYour Mind\n14. Who Gets Along and Why It W orks: Group Dynamics at ", + "Their\nFinest\n15. W ritten Communication: How to Evaluate Someone When Y ou\nCan’t Meet in Person\n16. What Makes Us as Mad as Hell?: Temperament Can Reveal\nEverything About a Person\n17. Stress Factors", + " and Energy Thieves: What Is Stress?\n18. A Short Reflection Through History: People Have Always\nBeen like This\n19. V oices from Real Life\n20. A Quick Little Quiz to See What Y ou’ve Learned\n21. A Fi", + "nal Example from Everyday Life: Perhaps the Most\nEnlightening T eam Project in the History of the W orld\nThe Answers to the Questions in Chapter 20\nFurther Reading\nIndex\nAbout the Author\nCopyright\n" +] \ No newline at end of file