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https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/radish-a-cat-wants-outta-_b_7471778.html
radish (a cat) wants outta here...
0
https://www.theonion.com/bee-stuck-between-screen-door-front-door-going-fucking-1819570814
bee stuck between screen door, front door going fucking nuts
1
https://www.theonion.com/female-boss-walking-around-like-she-owns-the-place-1819569074
female boss walking around like she owns the place
1
https://www.theonion.com/loud-squawking-crow-forces-faa-to-ground-all-flights-in-1819570572
loud squawking crow forces faa to ground all flights indefinitely
1
https://politics.theonion.com/startling-report-finds-evidence-democrats-may-have-atte-1819908378
startling report finds evidence democrats may have attempted to influence 2016 election
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/horse-dies-on-highway_n_5579789.html
horse dies in freak highway accident
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trump-by-the-numbers_us_576c3d72e4b017b379f55015
3 numbers that say a lot about donald trump
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/rick-and-morty-dan-harmon_us_594ea555e4b0da2c731bdb0e
dan harmon finally reveals reason behind 'rick and morty' delays
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/pregnancy-time-lapse_n_7502380.html
beautiful pregnancy time-lapse shows new mom and new nursery transform
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/cat-owner-dog-contrast_us_57c2ae11e4b0267344506ccb
spot-on video sums up the wildly different lives of cat and dog owners
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/joe-arpaio-tent-city-closed_us_59ddcdafe4b04fc4e1e9f01a
joe arpaio's 'concentration camp' is finally closed
0
https://www.theonion.com/north-korea-successfully-harvests-wheat-in-show-of-grow-1819578505
north korea successfully harvests wheat in show of growing strength
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/a-guy-crashes-through-a-table-in-snow-to-celebrate-tourney-upset_us_5aabde10e4b0c33361affe26
a guy crashes through a table in snow to celebrate ncaa tournament upset
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-middle-east-peace-pro_b_7629206.html
'middle east peace process?' high time for a new name
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/donald-glover-this-is-america-jim-crow-history_us_5af31588e4b00a3224efcc40
donald glover's 'this is america,' through the eyes of a jim crow historian
0
https://www.theonion.com/department-of-agriculture-locates-perfect-goat-1819575571
department of agriculture locates perfect goat
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-best-cyber-monday-tv-deals_us_5a1c3337e4b0d4906cb046a9
10 of the best cyber monday tv deals you'll actually want to shop
0
https://local.theonion.com/sorority-raises-money-at-local-stable-with-bikini-horse-1819591297
sorority raises money at local stable with bikini horse wash
1
https://www.theonion.com/lovelorn-app-aches-to-know-your-location-1819580100
lovelorn app aches to know your location
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/netflix-animals-gone-wild_us_57a350eee4b0104052a17544
'planet earth' with aziz ansari subtitles is way too real for us
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/its-every-day-not-everyday_us_59fca2cfe4b04cdbeb3300cf
sia's christmas album title contains an awkward grammatical error
0
https://local.theonion.com/trivial-pursuit-game-reveals-man-lacks-knowledge-of-bas-1819573675
trivial pursuit game reveals man lacks knowledge of basic social skills
1
https://entertainment.theonion.com/thousands-return-to-unemployment-following-end-of-write-1819588878
thousands return to unemployment following end of writers strike
1
https://entertainment.theonion.com/rapper-not-entirely-sure-who-else-is-on-this-track-1819570916
rapper not entirely sure who else is on this track
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/shredding-the-fourth-amendment_b_5533052.html
shredding the fourth amendment in post-constitutional america
0
https://politics.theonion.com/white-house-press-secretary-responds-to-question-about-1819592668
white house press secretary responds to question about rising obamacare premiums with torrent of toxic spray from parotid glands
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/reince-priebus-ethics-careful_us_587b9be8e4b0e58057ff493e
reince priebus warns ethics chief to 'be careful'
0
https://www.theonion.com/chiquita-introduces-easy-grip-banana-1819592224
chiquita introduces easy-grip banana
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/putin-picks-ex-defense-official-as-new-ambassador-to-us_us_599af142e4b0e8cc855efe73
putin picks ex-defense official as new ambassador to u.s.
0
https://www.theonion.com/scientists-working-on-immortality-better-hurry-up-becau-1819573948
scientists working on immortality better hurry up because ian mckellen is 73
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/most-hillary-clinton-voters-think-the-allegations-against-bill-clinton-are-credible_us_5a0ca041e4b0c0b2f2f76f79
most hillary clinton voters think the allegations against bill clinton are credible
0
https://www.theonion.com/u-s-loses-u-n-membership-after-soapy-bo-obama-jumps-u-1819578874
u.s. loses u.n. membership after soapy bo obama jumps up on secretary-general
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/derek-jeter-shares-one-of-the-biggest-regrets-of-his-career-with-obama_us_576a996de4b0c0252e77c935
derek jeter reveals one of the biggest regrets of his career to president obama
0
https://local.theonion.com/college-admissions-office-finds-ideal-applicant-capable-1819576333
college admissions office finds ideal applicant capable of subsidizing tuition of 3 low-income students
1
https://www.theonion.com/ghost-of-carl-sagan-warns-against-dangers-of-superstiti-1819564375
ghost of carl sagan warns against dangers of superstition
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/15-decluttering-tips-for-_b_7111384.html
15 decluttering tips for busy moms
0
https://local.theonion.com/new-roommate-bestows-apartment-with-unexpected-windfall-1819592290
new roommate bestows apartment with unexpected windfall of end tables
1
https://local.theonion.com/mom-learns-about-new-vegetable-1819579176
mom learns about new vegetable
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/bernie-sanders-va_n_5428068.html
sanders: 'everybody can bear some of the responsibility' for va troubles
0
https://www.theonion.com/locks-of-love-completes-construction-of-massive-hair-si-1819592793
locks of love completes construction of massive hair silo capable of holding 150,000 pounds of hair
1
https://www.theonion.com/seattle-s-space-needle-blasts-off-after-collecting-enou-1819589468
seattle's space needle blasts off after collecting enough rain for home planet
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/al-roker-jim-inhofe_us_55d1fa66e4b055a6dab0cd5c
al roker slams 'moron' jim inhofe for bringing snowball to senate
0
https://www.theonion.com/liu-xiaobo-going-to-be-pretty-tough-for-the-chinese-g-1819571985
liu xiaobo - going to be pretty tough for the chinese government to kill now
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/microsoft-fights-us-government-over-data-requests_us_5710113fe4b06f35cb6f16d1
microsoft fights u.s. government over data requests
0
https://www.theonion.com/mother-constantly-worried-about-son-stationed-on-u-s-m-1819576318
mother constantly worried about son stationed on u.s. military base
1
https://local.theonion.com/poet-takes-extra-5-minutes-to-vague-up-poem-1819569282
poet takes extra 5 minutes to vague up poem
1
https://www.theonion.com/historical-archives-civil-war-pre-enactors-have-staged-1819570250
historical archives: civil war pre-enactors have stage'd "battle of bull run"
1
https://www.theonion.com/kitchenaid-unveils-new-all-terrain-rolling-pin-1821259526
kitchenaid unveils new all-terrain rolling pin
1
https://local.theonion.com/seven-year-old-told-to-take-it-like-a-man-1819586720
seven-year-old told to take it like a man
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/historic-opportunity-for_b_11868476.html
historic opportunity for the 45th president of the united states
0
https://local.theonion.com/man-just-using-virgin-mary-to-get-to-jesus-1819568357
man just using virgin mary to get to jesus
1
https://entertainment.theonion.com/cool-glitch-effect-on-movie-studio-logo-must-mean-shit-1825294743
cool glitch effect on movie studio logo must mean shit about to go down
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-american-cult-of-bombing_b_5690930.html
the american cult of bombing
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/nearly-one-million-affected-by-flooding-in-myanmar_us_55c759dfe4b0f73b20b9a3ae
nearly one million affected by flooding in myanmar
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/ethics-chief-gushing-tweets-trump_us_58670475e4b0eb58648989df
u.s. ethics chief ordered gushing responses to trump's tweets
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/charles-clark-custodian-trinity-high-school_n_5808632.html
high school custodian offers students inspired guidance
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.comhttp://www.nola.com/saints/index.ssf/2015/12/drew_brees_foot_injury_what_do.html
drew brees' foot injury didn't happen overnight
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/florida-woman-blames-dog-crash_us_55cdf0b1e4b0ab468d9cfacb
dui crash suspect: arrest my dog, not me
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/fire-melissa-click_us_56a78ba3e4b0b87beec5f8ce
mizzou chancellor says he's not going to rush to fire melissa click
0
https://www.theonion.com/new-speech-recognition-software-factors-in-user-s-mouth-1819577601
new speech recognition software factors in user's mouth always being full
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/anne-hathaway-to-moms-there-is-no-shame-in-gaining-weight-during-pregnancy_us_57a9d5b9e4b0b770b1a43e87
anne hathaway to moms: 'there is no shame in gaining weight during pregnancy'
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/what-the-worlds-first-cyborg-can-teach-us-about-color-identity-and-art_us_559c5693e4b042b0befa2ba5
become who you are: the world's first legally recognized cyborg may be onto something
0
https://entertainment.theonion.com/new-documentary-to-finally-shed-light-on-nation-s-fast-1819575157
new documentary to finally shed light on nation's fast food chains
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/tale-of-two-primaries-and-how-to-uphold-majority-rule_us_59971eeae4b02eb2fda31f8a
tale of two primaries and how to uphold majority rule
0
https://www.theonion.com/police-chief-says-there-just-a-few-bad-deeply-ingraine-1819579001
police chief says there just a few bad, deeply ingrained prejudices giving all cops a bad name
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/refugee-deaths-at-sea_us_57767565e4b09b4c43bff3f7
a record number of people have drowned trying to reach europe this year
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/hillary-clinton-practiced-dodging-trumps-hugs-before-the-debates_us_591f4ec0e4b094cdba5411bc
hillary clinton practiced dodging trump's 'hugs' before the debates
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/how-to-choose-a-worthwhil_b_5571796.html
how to choose a worthwhile organization
0
https://www.theonion.com/new-study-reveals-majority-of-americans-want-1819572935
new study reveals majority of americans want
1
https://www.theonion.com/archangels-already-sick-of-cardinal-oconnor-telling-the-1819565603
archangels already sick of cardinal o'connor telling them how they do it in new york
1
https://www.theonion.com/new-ultra-realistic-xbox-game-has-users-press-b-repeate-1819575137
new ultra-realistic xbox game has users press b repeatedly to make character breathe
1
https://entertainment.theonion.com/sheryl-crow-unsuccessful-war-on-iraq-begins-1819566801
sheryl crow unsuccessful; war on iraq begins
1
https://local.theonion.com/bedtime-story-from-fucking-bible-again-1819576644
bedtime story from fucking bible again
1
https://www.theonion.com/death-row-inmate-can-t-deny-he-curious-to-see-how-state-1819578284
death row inmate can't deny he curious to see how state pulls off lethal injection
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/scarlett-johansson-baby-looks_n_6647094.html
scarlett johansson's baby looks 'completely different' from what she'd imagined
0
https://politics.theonion.com/what-were-we-talking-about-again-says-trump-15-secon-1819690253
'what were we talking about again?' says trump 15 seconds into phone call to family of fallen soldier
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/sam-schmid_n_5439751.html
man who awoke from coma just in time shares his story, urges us to 'find the miracle within'
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-birth-of-a-nation-a-century-later_b_6688908.html
'the birth of a nation': a century later
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/baby-boy-names-best-of-the-west_n_5641874.html
12 baby boy names that bring out the best of the wild, wild west
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/wanda-sykes-gets-sassy-in-her-diss-of-donald-trump-on-conan_us_58de6ddae4b0e6ac7094578f
wanda sykes gets right to the point with donald trump diss
0
https://www.theonion.com/child-at-9-11-memorial-service-sternly-reminded-we-are-1819578215
child at 9/11 memorial service sternly reminded we are sad today
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/el-salvador-murder-rate_us_56830589e4b014efe0d9833e
el salvador is on track to become world homicide leader
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/why-no-more-than-a-dribble-of-outside-spending-in-kansas_us_58f6432be4b04cae050dcb1a
why no more than a dribble of outside spending in kansas?
0
https://www.theonion.com/retired-pope-benedict-pledges-to-donate-soul-for-eccles-1825044076
retired pope benedict pledges to donate soul for ecclesiastic research
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/is-tpp-a-living-document_b_8549482.html
is tpp a "living" document?
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/lisa-bloom-discredit-weinstein-accusers-new-york-times_us_59d955fce4b046f5ad98aab2
attorney lisa bloom planned to discredit harvey weinstein's accusers: report
0
https://local.theonion.com/area-man-uses-big-buck-hunter-score-to-determine-abilit-1819570941
area man uses 'big buck hunter' score to determine ability to drive home
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/organic-milk_1_b_6699456.html
amplifyd.com challenges starbucks and peet's coffee to use organic milk
0
https://www.theonion.com/asthmatic-child-tired-of-hearing-list-of-famous-asthmat-1819569194
asthmatic child tired of hearing list of famous asthmatics
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/taylor-swift-dragged-by-the-aclu-for-trying-to-silence-a-journalist_us_5a00babde4b0baea26340533
aclu drags taylor swift for trying to silence critic
0
https://entertainment.theonion.com/hero-publicist-honored-1819564957
hero publicist honored
1
https://local.theonion.com/art-professor-revealed-to-be-convincing-fake-1819589376
art professor revealed to be convincing fake
1
https://local.theonion.com/dad-way-scarier-when-controlling-temper-1819576494
dad way scarier when controlling temper
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/cameron-diaz-retired_us_5abdff53e4b0f112dc9b6ef6
cameron diaz says she's 'actually retired,' so there
0
https://local.theonion.com/loveless-marriage-offset-by-beautiful-four-bedroom-home-1819586384
loveless marriage offset by beautiful four-bedroom home
1
https://politics.theonion.com/obama-weighing-his-syria-option-1819575483
obama weighing his syria option
1
https://www.theonion.com/rehabilitated-otter-released-back-into-food-chain-1819577635
rehabilitated otter released back into food chain
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/poll-iran-letter-inappropriate_n_6857644.html
poll: americans think gop's iran letter was inappropriate
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/dad-busts-his-daughter-for-underage-drinking-in-the-most-epic-way_us_577bfc16e4b09b4c43c149fc
dad busts his daughter for drinking in the most epic way possible
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/ucc-roseburg_us_56106c20e4b0dd85030c545f
long before the shooting, roseburg and its college were one
0