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https://www.theonion.com/ghost-of-alvah-roebuck-enjoying-the-hell-out-of-sears-1819575111
ghost of alvah roebuck enjoying the hell out of sears' decline
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/do-you-want-to-walk-a-pav_b_5560522.html
your career - paved road or tall grass?
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/republicans-abandon-trump_us_57f66cb9e4b0263f500e1a81
we just can't back donald trump, 30 former gop lawmakers say in letter
0
https://www.theonion.com/vans-rocking-motion-discourages-would-be-knocker-1819565115
van's rocking motion discourages would-be knocker
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/not-cooking-off-the-cuff-_4_b_7263110.html
[not] cooking off the cuff: new ideas from sicily and naples
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/twitter-verified-profiles-new-rules_us_5a0ce59fe4b0b37054f45562
twitter now revoking verified profiles that break its new rules
0
https://www.theonion.com/guest-given-air-mattress-that-will-slowly-deflate-throu-1819577916
guest given air mattress that will slowly deflate throughout night
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/intergenerational-office_b_7258924.html
7 things my intergenerational office taught me about friendship
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/new-york-city-naloxone-overdose-drug_us_5668579be4b0f290e5216441
new york city makes overdose reversal drug available without a prescription
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.comhttp://www.politico.com/story/2015/10/gallup-poll-2016-pollsters-214493
you won't be seeing any gallup polls this primary season
0
https://www.theonion.com/desktop-zen-rock-garden-thrown-at-assistant-1819587332
desktop zen rock garden thrown at assistant
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/lena-dunham-woody-allen_n_6539584.html
lena dunham dings woody allen
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/evan-lorenzen_n_5332679.html
'little book of big ideas' is smaller than a safety pin, wiser than you
0
https://politics.theonion.com/sen-dick-lugar-placed-on-congressional-disabled-list-w-1819569931
sen. dick lugar placed on congressional disabled list with strained hamstring
1
https://local.theonion.com/napkinless-man-with-grease-covered-fingers-realizes-he-1825856994
napkinless man with grease-covered fingers realizes he trapped in a prison of his own creation
1
https://local.theonion.com/white-to-attend-boat-show-1819564057
white to attend boat show
1
https://local.theonion.com/undertaker-s-last-few-embalmings-before-summer-vacation-1819575202
undertaker's last few embalmings before summer vacation always a little sloppy
1
https://politics.theonion.com/michele-bachmann-announces-bid-to-be-discussed-more-tha-1819590355
michele bachmann announces bid to be discussed more than she deserves in 2012
1
https://www.theonion.com/rain-told-to-go-away-in-1986-returns-1819569928
rain told to go away in 1986 returns
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/amy-schumer-chris-fischer_us_5a819c49e4b0c6726e156318
amy schumer makes it official with her new chef boyfriend
0
https://politics.theonion.com/republicans-retain-majority-in-household-1819567280
republicans retain majority in household
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/samsung-to-halt-global-sales-exchanges-of-galaxy-note-7_us_57fc144fe4b068ecb5e13196
samsung to halt global sales, exchanges of galaxy note 7
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/hannah-rothstein-thanksgiving-dinner_us_5654d119e4b0d4093a599508
how your favorite artists might play with thanksgiving dinner
0
https://www.theonion.com/plan-to-make-snacks-last-through-opening-credits-fails-1819566243
plan to make snacks last through opening credits fails
1
https://local.theonion.com/folk-art-museum-acquires-rare-visitor-1819569539
folk art museum acquires rare visitor
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-gop-on-immigration-li_b_6203934.html
the gop on immigration: life imitating satire -- and vice versa
0
https://politics.theonion.com/house-chaplain-delivers-soulful-prayer-for-god-to-save-1825777693
house chaplain delivers soulful prayer for god to save weak-ass, flip-flopping speakers who wound up looking like dipshits in front of everyone
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/black-women-bishops-are-making-history-for-their-predominantly-white-church_us_5af2fe52e4b0a0d601e8df44
black women bishops are making history in this predominantly white church
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/russian-plane-broke-up-at-high-altitude-official-says_us_56367253e4b00aa54a4e8548
russian plane broke up at high altitude, official says
0
https://local.theonion.com/diabetic-8-year-old-throws-worst-birthday-party-ever-1819567397
diabetic 8-year-old throws worst birthday party ever
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trevor-noah-donald-trump-love-child_us_5ad0918ee4b016a07e9b8241
trevor noah says the scary truth about trump's rumored love child
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.comhttp://www.vanityfair.com/news/2016/04/white-house-staff-on-edge-2016-presidential-race
permanent white house staff on edge about the 2016 presidential race
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/cheesecake-boys-coloring-book_us_589e2270e4b094a129eb0877
this sweet (and sexy) adult coloring book is a gay valentine treat
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/canon-5d-mark-iv-dslr-pre_b_11741270.html
canon 5d mark iv dslr preview video
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.comhttp://www.theneworleansadvocate.com/news/14908327-171/jpso-arrests-girlfriend-of-slain-man
jpso arrests girlfriend of man slain by jefferson deputies in new orleans
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/post_9608_b_7563490.html
a "peace community" tries nonviolent resistance in colombia
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/peaches-monroee-on-fleek-hair-line_us_59aeafc7e4b0dfaafcf2a3d5
'on fleek' viral star peaches monroee just launched her own hair line
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/video-reveals-the-heartbreak-of-loving-someone-with-alzheimers_us_5728b96ce4b016f378938b79
video shows the heartbreak of loving someone with alzheimer's
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/why-im-still-teamlogan-even-after-the-gilmore-girls_us_58447946e4b0cf3f64558af7
why i'm still #teamlogan even after the 'gilmore girls' revival
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/opinion-pinto-powell-equal-pay_us_5acb7514e4b09d0a1195d18b
medicine has an unhealthy gender pay gap
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/joy-reid-blog-post-hacking_us_5ae0ae7ee4b02baed1b593b6
joy reid's hacking claims look increasingly unlikely
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/content-marketing-must-ev_b_6262302.html
content marketing must evolve to marketing content, or else
0
https://local.theonion.com/microbrewer-trying-to-work-dog-into-name-of-new-seasona-1819573326
microbrewer trying to work dog into name of new seasonal beer
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/wednesdays-morning-email-what-you-missed-last-night-in-trumps-state-of-the-union_us_5a71b1fde4b0be822ba201ff
wednesday's morning email: what you missed last night in trump's state of the union
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/cancer-doesnt-care-how-we-vote_us_5977aba1e4b01cf1c4bb73ef
cancer doesn't care how we vote
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/we-are-the-same-blood-the-invisible-lives-of-indias-dalit-women_us_592f1419e4b0e09b11ed2469
'we are the same blood': the invisible lives of india's dalit women
0
https://sports.theonion.com/asshole-even-shoots-pool-like-an-asshole-1819566707
asshole even shoots pool like an asshole
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-importance-of-partner_b_5869756.html
the importance of partnerships: why business and higher ed need each other
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/if-parents-were-really-honest_us_561e77b9e4b050c6c4a3a52e
honest parents share their hilarious confessions
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/lane-graves-disney_us_576433cde4b015db1bc93137
after boy is killed by gator at disney, his hometown unites to support family
0
https://www.theonion.com/monaco-residents-terrified-to-walk-through-penthousing-1819578814
monaco residents terrified to walk through penthousing projects
1
https://www.theonion.com/toys-r-us-sign-triggers-pavlovian-shrieking-response-in-1819565629
toys 'r' us sign triggers pavlovian shrieking response in child
1
https://www.theonion.com/nobody-in-ukraine-notices-absence-of-government-1819568053
nobody in ukraine notices absence of government
1
https://www.theonion.com/t-j-maxx-job-application-just-asks-prospective-employe-1819576736
t.j. maxx job application just asks prospective employees how much they plan to shoplift
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/sandra-amezquita-rally-march_n_5893326.html
'i don't feel safe calling the police': new yorkers march against police violence
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/ferguson-looters_n_5693592.html
lone man tries to take on a crowd of looters in ferguson
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/a-millennial-perspective-_b_5285480.html
a millennial perspective on concur's new app center
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/lady-gaga-perfect-illusion-cover_us_57d01c8ce4b0a48094a6b0ff
lady gaga is a rock god on cover of new single 'perfect illusion'
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/underground-john-legend-cancellati_us_592ef925e4b09ec37c3104cf
john legend responds to wgn america's 'underground' cancellation
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/5-key-essentials-needed-f_b_6413292.html
5 key essentials needed for business success
0
https://www.theonion.com/accidentally-closing-browser-window-with-23-tabs-open-p-1819579454
accidentally closing browser window with 23 tabs open presents rare chance at new life
1
https://www.theonion.com/art-major-to-stop-capitalizing-name-1819566271
art major to stop capitalizing name
1
https://local.theonion.com/man-to-continue-slowly-drifting-into-middle-of-restaura-1819579474
man to continue slowly drifting into middle of restaurant until host redirects him
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/ashley-graham-is-done-with-the-too-fat-too-thin-debate_us_57a0b126e4b08a8e8b5f630e
ashley graham is done with the 'too fat, too thin' debate
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/what-comes-next-rockwell-reminds-us_us_586304efe4b014e7c72ede9c
what comes next? rockwell reminds us
0
https://www.theonion.com/biden-lines-up-sweet-summer-gig-installing-above-ground-1819578967
biden lines up sweet summer gig installing above-ground swimming pools
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/ben-sasse-trump-oath-of-office_us_59dee081e4b0eb18af062f71
republican senator asks if trump is recanting his oath of office
0
https://politics.theonion.com/lawyers-confirm-trump-willing-to-answer-all-of-sean-han-1822607174
lawyers confirm trump willing to answer all of sean hannity's questions about russia collusion
1
https://politics.theonion.com/gina-haspel-nervously-rubs-lucky-prisoners-foot-during-1825892518
gina haspel nervously rubs lucky prisoner's foot during cia director confirmation hearing
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/umpqua-community-college-gun-free-zone_us_5626a0f4e4b02f6a900e519d
umpqua community college wasn't exactly a 'gun-free zone'
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/khloe-kardashian-resumes-content-on-website-app_us_562e6f00e4b06317990ec82e
khloe kardashian thanks fans for their 'patience,' resumes website and app content
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/27-counties-in-california_n_6582016.html
the troubling trend behind california's measles outbreak
0
https://www.theonion.com/chained-pen-yearns-to-visit-rest-of-bank-1819588125
chained pen yearns to visit rest of bank
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/my-life-in-soaps_b_7184706.html
my life in soaps
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/obama-troops-afghanistan-8400_us_577d1c05e4b0a629c1ab6518
obama again extends troop presence in afghanistan
0
https://local.theonion.com/woman-with-low-self-esteem-boosts-area-mans-self-esteem-1819568071
woman with low self-esteem boosts area man's self-esteem
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/ebola-in-semen_us_57c6e9bae4b0a22de0934dbc
ebola can stay in survivors' semen way longer than expected
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/how-depression-inspired-to-be-a-therapist_n_5701548.html
how depression inspired this woman's career choice
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/cultural-gems-we-bet-youv_b_5389351.html
cultural gems we bet you've never heard of
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/do-you-need-a-country-her_b_7253402.html
do you need a country? here is one!
0
https://entertainment.theonion.com/vin-diesel-will-finally-kiss-car-in-fast-furious-6-1819574570
vin diesel will finally kiss car in 'fast & furious 6'
1
https://politics.theonion.com/philanderer-taken-back-1819591182
philanderer taken back
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/charlize-theron-president-obama_us_55ae4931e4b0a9b948527197
charlize theron once invited president obama to a strip club, as one does
0
https://entertainment.theonion.com/vocalist-leaves-journey-tribute-band-over-creative-diff-1819564464
vocalist leaves journey tribute band over creative differences
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/its-time-to-take-a-stand_us_587824efe4b03e071c14fbc5
it's time to take a stand against trump
0
https://www.theonion.com/transit-authority-pledges-to-double-number-of-out-of-se-1819587531
transit authority pledges to double number of out-of-service buses by 2006
1
https://www.theonion.com/decorative-throw-pillow-positively-aching-for-a-quick-p-1819592679
decorative throw pillow positively aching for a quick plump
1
https://www.theonion.com/22-year-old-fuck-complains-of-age-discrimination-1819567157
22-year-old fuck complains of age discrimination
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/boundless---todays-buddha_b_5579627.html
boundless - today's buddha doodle
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/chipotles-prices-are-risi_n_5350867.html
chipotle is making big changes but nobody really cares
0
https://www.theonion.com/study-use-of-phrase-dont-skimp-on-the-linked-to-heart-1819569623
study: use of phrase 'don't skimp on the' linked to heart disease
1
https://www.theonion.com/ann-landers-advice-arrives-11-weeks-too-late-1819586808
ann landers' advice arrives 11 weeks too late
1
https://www.theonion.com/mom-calmly-emptying-dishwasher-as-if-shrieking-argument-1819574670
mom calmly emptying dishwasher as if shrieking argument didn't happen 10 minutes ago
1
https://www.theonion.com/study-83-of-web-content-unfit-for-human-consumption-1819577169
study: 83% of web content unfit for human consumption
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/religious-imagery-2018-met-gala_us_5af1a644e4b0ab5c3d6a00b0
the religious imagery stitched throughout the 2018 met gala
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/listen-up-girlfriends-we-need-each-other_b_5684083.html
listen up, girlfriends: we need each other
0
https://local.theonion.com/man-with-3-kids-going-to-make-great-father-someday-1820976307
man with 3 kids going to make great father someday
1
https://www.theonion.com/study-links-clinical-depression-to-getting-dunked-on-1819578750
study links clinical depression to getting dunked on
1
https://politics.theonion.com/poll-workers-overhear-biden-repeating-phrase-banged-her-1819574150
poll workers overhear biden repeating phrase 'banged her' while reading names on ballot
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/nyt-column-asserts-us-col_b_5540012.html
nyt column asserts: us colleges stink
0