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https://politics.theonion.com/please-ill-tell-you-everything-whimpers-rick-gates-1823282569
'please, i'll tell you everything,' whimpers rick gates after mueller threatens to send him back to white house
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/release-the-memo-fbi_us_5a71fda6e4b05253b2750778
fbi has 'grave concerns' on republican-authored fisa memo trump wants released
0
https://www.theonion.com/new-robot-capable-of-unhealthily-repressing-emotion-1819571647
new robot capable of unhealthily repressing emotion
1
https://www.theonion.com/creature-that-craps-in-box-too-fancy-for-dry-food-1819576305
creature that craps in box too fancy for dry food
1
https://www.theonion.com/nation-s-math-teachers-introduce-27-new-trig-functions-1819575558
nation's math teachers introduce 27 new trig functions
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/not-beaten-bound-or-broke_b_6426692.html
not beaten, bound or broken
0
https://www.theonion.com/captor-captive-have-different-senses-of-humor-1819568356
captor, captive have different senses of humor
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/mute-teen-fulfills-his-dream-of-becoming-a-rapper-despite-not-having-a-jaw_us_58c9a350e4b0be71dcf122cd
mute teen fulfills his dream of becoming a rapper despite not having a jaw
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/climate-march-2017_us_590371e1e4b0bb2d086e12ff
thousands march in washington, d.c. heat to demand trump act on climate change
0
https://local.theonion.com/lifelong-dream-no-match-for-first-brush-with-adversity-1819577051
lifelong dream no match for first brush with adversity
1
https://politics.theonion.com/clinton-ominously-tells-iowan-supporters-to-mark-front-1819578567
clinton ominously tells iowan supporters to mark front doors with campaign logo before sundown
1
https://local.theonion.com/man-passes-away-surrounded-by-knife-wielding-loved-ones-1823435941
man passes away surrounded by knife-wielding loved ones
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/its-mildly-infectious-its-treatableyet-patients_us_58d9bdcce4b04f2f07927264
it's mildly infectious and treatable—yet patients still face discrimination
0
https://www.theonion.com/area-man-could-use-the-overtime-anyway-1819586510
area man could use the overtime anyway
1
https://local.theonion.com/high-school-bully-worried-victims-will-realize-he-actua-1819578522
high school bully worried victims will realize he actually retarded faggot himself
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/star-wars-battlefront-trailer_us_562fbf15e4b0c66bae59bd3a
new 'star wars: battlefront' trailer lands -- and it's slicker than a greased-up 3po
0
https://local.theonion.com/peripheral-acquaintance-casually-mentions-she-was-moles-1819565151
peripheral acquaintance casually mentions she was molested
1
https://www.theonion.com/its-a-privilege-to-have-worked-with-such-talented-peopl-1819572568
'it's a privilege to have worked with such talented people,' says coworker getting the fuck out of there
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/love-is-humble_b_5786744.html
love is humble
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/restoring-a-sense-of-decency-to-our-destructive-politics_us_5968d228e4b022bb9372b107
restoring a sense of decency to our destructive politics
0
https://www.theonion.com/dubai-completes-construction-on-world-s-first-full-scal-1819578952
dubai completes construction on world's first full-scale replica of dubai
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/ron-dermer-netanyahu-visit_n_6590704.html
israeli ambassador ron dermer pokes fun at critics with super bowl prediction
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/sandra-bland-suicide-watch_us_55b11b1be4b08f57d5d3e05d
leaving sandra bland alone in a cell violated clear jail protocols
0
https://local.theonion.com/unclear-whether-grandpa-having-good-time-1819591488
unclear whether grandpa having good time
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/aly-raisman-is-not-ok-with-banning-gymnastics-leotards-to-prevent-abuse_us_5ab902dee4b008c9e5f98b62
aly raisman is not ok with banning gymnastics leotards to prevent abuse
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/4-super-easy-ways-to-keep_b_7162668.html
4 super easy ways to keep cyber criminals out of your life
0
https://local.theonion.com/biggest-mistake-of-life-dressed-up-as-pumpkin-1819589633
biggest mistake of life dressed up as pumpkin
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trump-phone-call-guam-governor-tourism_us_598f1426e4b09071f699ebeb
trump tells guam governor nuclear tensions will mean more tourism
0
https://local.theonion.com/cretinous-reprobate-home-for-the-holidays-1819564987
cretinous reprobate home for the holidays
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/singapore-airlines-fire_us_577082dae4b0dbb1bbbaee59
singapore airlines flight catches fire, no casualties
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/outdoor-fireplace-transform-backyard_n_5732050.html
you're forgetting about the one backyard feature that can extend your summer
0
https://local.theonion.com/uninsured-man-hopes-his-symptoms-diagnosed-this-week-on-1819569502
uninsured man hopes his symptoms diagnosed this week on house
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/hedge-fund-magnate_n_7046212.html
the reclusive billionaire bankrolling ted cruz
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/let-this-cute-cat-in-funny-wigs-remind-you-the-world-isnt-all-bad_us_58e546ffe4b0fe4ce087d017
let this cute cat in funny wigs remind you the world isn't all bad
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trump-tax-increase_us_59d3d237e4b04b9f92057a71
that 'historic' middle-class tax cut trump promised? still just a promise.
0
https://www.theonion.com/fake-a-wish-foundation-introduces-dying-child-to-brett-1819566535
fake-a-wish foundation introduces dying child to brett favre lookalike
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/everything-you-need-to-know-about-filipino-breakfasts_us_5ae71f58e4b08248abaa6ea1
everything you need to know about filipino breakfasts
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.comhttp://www.vice.com/read/how-to-make-a-living-as-a-drag-queen-1
how to make a living as a drag queen
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/santa-obliges-dad-of-sleeping-boy-by-snoozing-on-camera_us_565ce409e4b079b2818b8a95
santa obliges dad of sleeping boy by snoozing on camera
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/john-oliver-nra-tv_us_5a9cf5b2e4b089ec353c3fbd
john oliver: nratv is like a 'deranged letter from a serial killer'
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/pope-criticizes-conservatives-at-key-church-gathering_us_562bd74ce4b0aac0b8fd2083
pope criticizes conservatives at key church gathering
0
https://local.theonion.com/heat-wave-doesn-t-bother-local-contrarian-1819575281
heat wave doesn't bother local contrarian
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/summer-recipes-you-can-bring-anywhere_us_57717822e4b0dbb1bbbb7475
5 summer recipes you can bring anywhere
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/green-vs-black-tea_us_58ff7915e4b0c46f07829738
in case you didn't know, green and black tea come from the same plant
0
https://politics.theonion.com/republicans-introduce-economic-equality-bill-for-fun-of-1819567028
republicans introduce economic equality bill for fun of shooting it down
1
https://www.theonion.com/report-someone-probably-masturbating-to-this-stock-pho-1819575783
report: someone probably masturbating to this stock photo right now
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/baby-great-dane-dog-bed_us_55c227a5e4b0d9b28f04f4ca
nobody keeps baby from the corner
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/at-the-womens-convention-a-clear-message-follow-black-women-in-2018_us_59f4939ce4b03cd20b81e45f
at the women's convention, a clear message: follow black women in 2018
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/anthony-newarls-black-santa-brooklyn-brownsville-activism_us_585c20e5e4b0de3a08f48b80
brooklyn's black santa explains why christmas joy has no color
0
https://entertainment.theonion.com/fan-doubtful-solo-a-star-wars-story-can-live-up-to-d-1826301490
fan doubtful 'solo: a star wars story' can live up to denny's blaster fire burger
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/frieze-art-fair-2015_n_7285222.html
10 crazy/beautiful things happening in the art world this weekend
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/omalley-clinton-social-security_us_55d7453be4b04ae49702ea99
martin o'malley explains how he'd expand social security as progressives wait on hillary clinton
0
https://entertainment.theonion.com/quincy-suspects-murder-1819563927
quincy suspects murder
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/oscar-pistorius-hospital-treatment_us_57a6ef5ce4b03ba68012980c
oscar pistorius treated in hospital for wrist injuries: reports
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/where-in-the-world-is-the-best-place-to-be-in-may_b_7119942.html
where in the world is the best place to be in may?
0
https://local.theonion.com/area-family-has-no-idea-where-dad-gets-shirts-1819574264
area family has no idea where dad gets shirts
1
https://local.theonion.com/hacker-just-going-to-fix-a-few-annoying-typos-on-compan-1823892258
hacker just going to fix a few annoying typos on company's website before stealing customer data
1
https://www.theonion.com/new-sat-section-tests-ability-to-pay-tuition-1819569030
new sat section tests ability to pay tuition
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/kids-behavior-linked-to-moms-acetaminophen-use-during-pregnancy_us_57b47b15e4b0b42c38af88a5
kids' behavior linked to moms' acetaminophen use during pregnancy
0
https://www.theonion.com/party-not-big-enough-to-move-out-of-kitchen-yet-1819577389
party not big enough to move out of kitchen yet
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/sweet-valley-high-reboot_n_7664528.html
a 'sweet valley high' reboot is not totally out of the question
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/robots-jobs-economist-erik-brynjolfsson-video_us_56f954cbe4b0143a9b48af6b
we might be all wrong about robots taking our jobs
0
https://www.theonion.com/queen-elizabeth-to-think-mainly-about-her-approaching-d-1819590774
queen elizabeth to think mainly about her approaching death throughout olympics ceremony
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/mike-pence-mulan-women_us_578cc588e4b08608d3350496
mike pence says disney made 'mulan' to promote women in combat
0
https://www.theonion.com/stack-of-unread-new-yorkers-celebrates-one-year-anniver-1819587101
stack of unread new yorkers celebrates one-year anniversary
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/bruce-rauner-inauguration-corporate_n_6451146.html
new gop governor's inauguration raises questions of corporate influence
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/kirsten-dunst_us_56bf9f96e4b0c3c55051aacb
kirsten dunst opens up about the life of a child star
0
https://politics.theonion.com/paul-ryan-wondering-if-he-should-have-told-romney-about-1819573757
paul ryan wondering if he should have told romney about this guy he's dating
1
https://local.theonion.com/area-man-relieved-friends-short-story-sucks-1819573220
area man relieved friend's short story sucks
1
https://politics.theonion.com/shackled-kerry-looks-on-as-chechen-terror-leader-remove-1819579541
shackled kerry looks on as chechen terror leader removes mask to reveal scarred face of former mentor
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/fight-the-flu-dr-oz_us_56730208e4b0688701dc9a8f
6 ways to fight the flu you probably overlooked
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-trap-of-islams-extern_b_6136498.html
the trap of islam's eternal conflict
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/two-world-views-in-the-white-house_us_593ad99de4b0b65670e569e6
the two opposing world views in the white house
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/britain-iraq-advisers-isis_n_7529708.html
britain to send 125 military advisers to iraq, says david cameron
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/gospel-grammys-winners-_b_6635914.html
my picks for gospel winners at the grammys
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trump-plans-nobannowall-hashtag_us_588a20f8e4b0024605fe3866
americans respond to trump's plans for country with #nobannowall
0
https://entertainment.theonion.com/detroit-unveils-new-half-ton-400-horsepower-motown-sin-1819573022
detroit unveils new half-ton, 400 horsepower motown singer
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/test-driven-teacher-evalu_b_9714366.html
test-driven teacher evaluations strike out
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/seth-meyers-teenagers-will-save-us-all_us_5ab4bec6e4b054d118e1aa2d
seth meyers' spoof ad shows how teenagers are actually saving the country
0
https://politics.theonion.com/media-reminds-public-not-to-overemphasize-super-tuesday-1819573338
media reminds public not to overemphasize super tuesday results or draw any sort of wide-reaching conclusions
1
https://www.theonion.com/milosevic-dreams-hes-slaughtering-ethnic-albanians-in-h-1819565170
milosevic dreams he's slaughtering ethnic albanians in his underwear
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/citizen-united-anniversary_us_56a101c8e4b076aadcc56c94
meet the gop congressman who wants to overturn citizens united
0
https://local.theonion.com/man-unable-to-explain-contempt-he-feels-for-group-of-pe-1819572675
man unable to explain contempt he feels for group of people enjoying one another's company
1
https://www.theonion.com/man-excited-to-look-like-different-type-of-idiot-in-fro-1819577960
man excited to look like different type of idiot in front of coworkers at bar
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/aaron-hernandez-guilty_n_7070180.html
aaron hernandez, ex-patriots star, convicted of murder
0
https://www.theonion.com/podiatrist-a-jerk-1819566877
podiatrist a jerk
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/kentucky-clerk-impossible-marry-gay-couples_us_55e773dae4b0aec9f355f190
kentucky clerk: it's 'impossible' for me to marry gay couples
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trump-clinton-low-favorables_us_576151cae4b05e4be8604073
huffpollster: voters remain very negative about donald trump and hillary clinton
0
https://politics.theonion.com/you-did-great-terrified-personal-assistant-tells-clint-1819573839
'you did great!' terrified personal assistant tells clint eastwood
1
https://local.theonion.com/husband-apologizing-in-sleep-1819566139
husband apologizing in sleep
1
https://www.theonion.com/rookie-usda-agent-vomits-after-seeing-first-rotten-oran-1819580052
rookie usda agent vomits after seeing first rotten orange
1
https://politics.theonion.com/gop-convention-to-feature-strong-lineup-of-conservative-1819573814
gop convention to feature strong lineup of conservative women listeners
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/10-stress-free-suppers-fo_b_8149732.html
10 stress-free suppers for the entire family
0
https://entertainment.theonion.com/dnc-aiming-to-reconnect-with-working-class-americans-wi-1819579456
dnc aiming to reconnect with working-class americans with new 'hamilton'-inspired lena dunham web series
1
https://politics.theonion.com/white-house-celebrates-fifth-straight-year-without-oral-1819568200
white house celebrates fifth straight year without oral sex
1
https://politics.theonion.com/naderite-loyalists-nuke-dam-1819586903
naderite loyalists nuke dam
1
https://www.theonion.com/casual-drink-with-acquaintance-actually-first-move-in-e-1819574402
casual drink with acquaintance actually first move in elaborate chess game to get hired at united.com
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-prophet-of-jordans-mists_b_7024334.html
the prophet of "jordan's mists"
0
https://local.theonion.com/aisle-of-hispanic-food-items-all-man-needs-to-know-abou-1819576822
aisle of hispanic food items all man needs to know about fate of country
1
https://local.theonion.com/grandma-looking-like-absolute-shit-lately-1819579857
grandma looking like absolute shit lately
1