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https://local.theonion.com/yeah-area-man-is-drunk-so-1819565011
yeah, area man is drunk... so?
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/to-cure-cancer-biden-says-have-to-overcome-cancer-politics_us_569931aee4b0ce4964244672
to cure cancer, biden says have to overcome 'cancer politics'
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/jack-phillips-masterpiece-cakeshop-_n_5438726.html
bakery owner vows to stop making wedding cakes altogether after pro-gay court ruling
0
https://www.theonion.com/millennium-actually-starts-in-2001-terrorists-note-1819565438
millennium actually starts in 2001, terrorists note
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/five-bags-that-fit-the-ne_b_7673450.html
5 bags that fit the new carry-on suggestions (photos)
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/siri-saves-teens-life-by-responding-to-call-911-request_us_55d2320ae4b055a6dab1081a
siri calls 911 for teen pinned under fallen truck
0
https://www.theonion.com/rolling-stones-kick-off-sing-our-songs-for-us-tour-1819588265
rolling stones kick off 'sing our songs for us' tour
1
https://politics.theonion.com/american-torturing-jobs-increasingly-outsourced-1819567781
american torturing jobs increasingly outsourced
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/jordan-klepper-destroys-gop-bill-that-sells-good-guy-with-a-gun-myth_us_5a269088e4b07324e84081a0
jordan klepper destroys gop bill that sells 'good guy with a gun' myth
0
https://www.theonion.com/doll-overstays-dollhouse-welcome-1819587658
doll overstays dollhouse welcome
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/wall-street-lobbyists-and-dc-insiders-wrong-again_us_586e9188e4b08052400ee0a8
wall street lobbyists and d.c. "insiders" wrong (again) on dol conflict of interest rule
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/generic-prescriptions_n_6730194.html
the truth about generic vs. brand-name medications
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/processing-the-facts-what_b_6308160.html
processing the facts: what will ferguson's legacy be?
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/how-to-find-secret-discounted-airfare_us_5aec72e2e4b0ab5c3d64f6bb
how to find 'secret' discounted airfare
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/stunning-health-benefits_b_8276422.html
stunning health benefits of cotton candy proposed
0
https://politics.theonion.com/walletless-biden-found-handcuffed-to-bedpost-1819570983
walletless biden found handcuffed to bedpost
1
https://www.theonion.com/lesser-piece-of-paper-used-to-test-pens-viability-1819570479
lesser piece of paper used to test pen's viability
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/samsung-note-7-profit_us_57fdf77ce4b0e9c70229e6f3
samsung slashes profit forecast after pulling plug on note 7 smartphone
0
https://www.theonion.com/atlantic-ocean-excited-to-move-into-beautiful-beachfron-1819578213
atlantic ocean excited to move into beautiful beachfront mansion soon
1
https://sports.theonion.com/heinz-introduces-new-quick-recovery-sports-ketchup-1819580193
heinz introduces new quick-recovery sports ketchup
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/ellen-slaps_n_6705412.html
watch ellen slap jennifer aniston silly
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/william-spingler-assault-103-year-old-woman_us_5868300ee4b0eb586489bfe7
retired politician accused of molesting 103-year-old former in-law
0
https://www.theonion.com/styrofoam-clamshell-hiding-exquisite-pearl-of-pulled-po-1819592642
styrofoam clamshell hiding exquisite pearl of pulled pork sandwich
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/jingle-butts_us_56615d07e4b072e9d1c59e15
'tis the season to be cheeky with 'jingle butts' music video
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/cops-suspended-mom-found-dead_us_5a45ad38e4b0b0e5a7a5b9d2
nypd officers suspended after witnesses say they didn't check on woman later found dead
0
https://local.theonion.com/man-approaches-unfamiliar-shower-knobs-like-he-breaking-1819578922
man approaches unfamiliar shower knobs like he breaking wild stallion
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/regarding-and-remembering_b_6372292.html
regarding (and remembering) susan sontag
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.comhttp://pubx.co/R3HOZr
ever wish you could live inside your favorite book? you can at this incredible new place
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.comhttp://www.nbcnews.com/politics/2016-election/cruz-calls-trump-serial-philanderer-pathological-liar-blistering-attack-n566956
cruz calls trump 'serial philanderer' and 'pathological liar' in blistering attack
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/spring-cleaning-life-hack_b_6978622.html
spring cleaning life hacks
0
https://www.theonion.com/bags-filled-with-sand-still-most-advanced-u-s-anti-flo-1819569959
bags filled with sand still most advanced u.s. anti-flood technology
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/philadelphiatheatreco-cel_b_6672014.html
philadelphiatheatreco. celebrates 40 with stars aligned
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/5-pointz-landlord-trademark_n_6124580.html
5 pointz landlord says his luxury condos will be just like the graffiti mecca he destroyed
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/my-birthday-is-a-day-of-infamy_us_58a3a232e4b080bf74f0420f
my birthday is a day of infamy
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trump-transgender-students-bathrooms_us_58af1591e4b0780bac2725d4
donald trump didn't actually roll back any legal protections for transgender kids
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/breyer-p-orridge--pierre-molinier_n_5838452.html
artist merges genders with her late lover as ultimate artistic collaboration (nsfw)
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/want-better-behaved-kids-tell-them-theyre-so-loved_us_5abcf3efe4b03e5539296e96
want better behaved kids? tell them they're so loved
0
https://local.theonion.com/broke-dad-makes-son-playstation-2-for-christmas-1819565860
broke dad makes son playstation 2 for christmas
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/resources-for-the-resistance-a-primer-on-the-press_us_58b316c8e4b0658fc20f96ca
a primer on the press and the white house
0
https://www.theonion.com/corporate-retreat-teaches-employees-how-to-dick-around-1823355945
corporate retreat teaches employees how to dick around as team
1
https://local.theonion.com/no-one-in-limo-going-to-prom-with-the-one-they-wanted-1819574929
no one in limo going to prom with the one they wanted
1
https://local.theonion.com/physician-shoots-off-a-few-adderall-prescriptions-to-im-1819576351
physician shoots off a few adderall prescriptions to improve yelp rating
1
https://www.theonion.com/philip-morris-lawyers-deny-cigarettes-are-cylindrical-1819586128
philip morris lawyers deny cigarettes are cylindrical
1
https://www.theonion.com/you-to-receive-15-pounds-of-venison-sausage-from-uncle-1819566682
you to receive 15 pounds of venison sausage from uncle
1
https://www.theonion.com/report-some-small-town-enjoying-last-days-of-anonymity-1819575562
report: some small town enjoying last days of anonymity before harrowing tragedy
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/pearl-jam-cover-let-it-go_n_5519674.html
watch: pearl jam randomly break out into 'let it go' in italy
0
https://www.theonion.com/camel-cash-gaining-strength-against-the-dollar-1819586225
camel cash gaining strength against the dollar
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/donald-trump-sexual-awareness-month_us_5abeaa0ae4b0a47437aaff29
president who bragged of groping women declares sexual assault awareness month
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/chaka-fattah-sentenced-fraud_us_584ecfcae4b04c8e2bb0b54b
former pennsylvania congressman sentenced to 10 years in prison
0
https://www.theonion.com/jeff-bezos-assures-amazon-employees-that-hr-working-100-1819578096
jeff bezos assures amazon employees that hr working 100 hours a week to address their complaints
1
https://www.theonion.com/corporation-surprised-to-see-its-tax-money-circle-back-1819577482
corporation surprised to see its tax money circle back around to it so soon
1
https://www.theonion.com/ai-scientists-theorize-existence-of-numbers-greater-tha-1819802203
ai scientists theorize existence of numbers greater than 1
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/celine-dion-performs-emotional-tribute-billboard-music-awards_us_574245a0e4b0613b512a9781
celine dion performs emotional tribute at the billboard music awards
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/angel-soft-video-shows-what-its-really-like-to-raise-grandkids_us_564b3863e4b045bf3df0b361
touching video shows what it's really like to raise grandkids
0
https://local.theonion.com/when-area-waitress-gets-a-chance-1819590311
when area waitress gets a chance
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.comhttp://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2015/08/politics-of-presidential-dieting.html
the politics of presidential dieting
0
https://local.theonion.com/everyone-glad-someone-else-making-small-talk-with-disab-1819565670
everyone glad someone else making small talk with disabled woman
1
https://www.theonion.com/cricket-located-1819569876
cricket located
1
https://politics.theonion.com/nation-throws-off-tyrannical-yoke-of-moderate-respect-f-1819579429
nation throws off tyrannical yoke of moderate respect for women
1
https://www.theonion.com/new-report-shows-many-u-s-businesses-actually-just-fro-1819575918
new report shows many u.s. businesses actually just fronts for moneymaking operations
1
https://www.theonion.com/joe-paternos-name-to-remain-on-joe-paterno-center-for-c-1819573626
joe paterno's name to remain on joe paterno center for covering up sexual abuse
1
https://politics.theonion.com/election-night-orgy-shifts-positions-so-everyone-can-se-1819592696
election night orgy shifts positions so everyone can see results come in
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/i-am-a-public-school-teacher-give-me-all-the-refugees_us_588d447ee4b0de286b25741c
i am a public school teacher. give me all the refugees you've got!
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/an-heir-to-the-chilean-presidency_b_5045291.html
an heir to the chilean presidency: isabel allende bussi
0
https://local.theonion.com/evidence-piling-up-mom-slept-with-one-of-her-college-pr-1819574685
evidence piling up mom slept with one of her college professors
1
https://local.theonion.com/unhappy-couple-staying-together-for-one-of-their-childr-1819577596
unhappy couple staying together for one of their children
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/donald-trump-police-shooting_us_57e29fd1e4b0e80b1b9f6716
donald trump says he's 'troubled' by oklahoma police shooting
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/where-live-abroad-quiz_us_5674619be4b06fa6887d434d
quiz: where should you live abroad?
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/mariah-carey-reveals-her-bipoloar-ii-diagnosis_us_5acdfd50e4b06a6aac8da5f4
mariah carey reveals her bipolar ii diagnosis in candid interview
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/new-endangered-species-deficit-hawk_us_583392f3e4b0eaa5f14d49d4
new endangered species: deficit hawk
0
https://www.theonion.com/greyhound-now-charging-customers-15-fee-to-vomit-in-ai-1819572348
greyhound now charging customers $15 fee to vomit in aisle
1
https://www.theonion.com/fema-unveils-nationwide-phone-tree-in-case-of-emergency-1819570711
fema unveils nationwide phone tree in case of emergency
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/uber-wont-hurt-car-sales_us_56e19775e4b0b25c9180eea7
it's going to be a while before uber replaces car ownership
0
https://local.theonion.com/criminal-prosecuted-to-fullest-extent-of-budget-1819576675
criminal prosecuted to fullest extent of budget
1
https://local.theonion.com/man-makes-quick-call-to-parents-so-next-week-s-call-to-1819578650
man makes quick call to parents so next week's call to ask for money doesn't seem that bad
1
https://www.theonion.com/health-insurance-ceo-reveals-key-to-company-s-success-i-1823515696
health insurance ceo reveals key to company's success is not paying for customers' medical care
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/women-who-loot_b_5934046.html
women who loot
0
https://www.theonion.com/royal-wedding-photographer-feeling-pretty-guilty-about-1826151767
royal wedding photographer feeling pretty guilty about time he ran princess di off road
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-fight-to-overturn-citizens-united-what-happens_us_58346bfde4b08c963e3444fa
the fight to overturn citizens united: what happens now?
0
https://www.theonion.com/new-google-streep-view-to-provide-panoramic-imagery-of-1819575927
new google streep view to provide panoramic imagery of meryl streep
1
https://www.theonion.com/study-finds-americans-lead-world-in-ability-to-justify-1819576610
study finds americans lead world in ability to justify unnecessary purchases
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/inside-los-angeles-first-_n_5568823.html
inside los angeles' first ever marijuana farmers' market
0
https://www.theonion.com/nasa-celebrates-60th-anniversary-of-launching-first-moo-1821011482
nasa celebrates 60th anniversary of launching first moon to orbit earth
1
https://www.theonion.com/troop-leader-awards-boy-scout-with-tried-to-save-best-f-1819589062
troop leader awards boy scout with 'tried to save best friend' badge
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/beijing-brazil-7-1-world-cup_b_5579976.html
beijing, brazil, 7-1: awareness shift in soccer, society
0
https://politics.theonion.com/gears-of-war-crimes-court-finds-2006-locust-horde-massa-1819569780
gears of war crimes court finds 2006 locust horde massacre justified
1
https://www.theonion.com/young-billionaires-age-not-reported-for-sake-of-nations-1819572710
young billionaire's age not reported for sake of nation's ego
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/idris-elba-thinks-a-woman-would-make-a-better-james-bond-than-him_us_5a663fd1e4b0dc592a0b8bdd
idris elba doesn't think he — or any man — is right for the role of james bond
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/bisexual-the-new-it-word_b_6377890.html
bisexual: the new 'it' word
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/juan-gabriel-wins-first-ever-latin-grammys-three-months-after-death_us_582f10b4e4b030997bbef260
juan gabriel wins first ever latin grammys three months after death
0
https://politics.theonion.com/congress-names-very-special-prosecutor-1819564484
congress names very special prosecutor
1
https://www.theonion.com/budweiser-american-lager-purchased-at-tavern-1819571381
budweiser american lager purchased at tavern
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/this-is-what-the-most-annoying-co-workers-have-in-common_us_5a7b53eee4b08dfc92ff6802
this is what the most annoying co-workers have in common
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/josmel-herrera-shoots-self-cleaning-gun_us_567aa43ee4b06fa6887f762d
police: man fatally shoots self while demonstrating how to clean gun
0
https://www.theonion.com/report-standing-at-work-can-increase-coworkers-disdai-1819576821
report: standing at work can increase coworkers' disdain up to 70%
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/how-donald-trump-worst-week_us_57a56964e4b021fd9878be0e
how donald trump created the worst week any candidate's ever had
0
https://www.theonion.com/dad-s-previously-unheard-of-friend-dies-1819579904
dad's previously unheard-of friend dies
1
https://local.theonion.com/guest-searches-hand-towel-for-low-traffic-area-1819579882
guest searches hand towel for low-traffic area
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/in-india-gaps-in-quality-_b_7267606.html
in india, gaps in quality of care leave women seeking sterilization vulnerable
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/face-blindness_b_5305427.html
what it's like to have face blindness
0