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https://local.theonion.com/teen-coming-out-of-shell-giving-bully-lots-of-new-mater-1819578192
teen coming out of shell giving bully lots of new material to work with
1
https://www.theonion.com/smug-new-mom-going-to-start-a-blog-1819573302
smug new mom going to start a blog
1
https://www.theonion.com/pope-francis-concerned-about-infection-from-holy-spirit-1819579771
pope francis concerned about infection from holy spirit bite
1
https://www.theonion.com/novelty-welcome-mat-lets-party-guests-know-they-re-in-f-1819578497
novelty welcome mat lets party guests know they're in for some fun
1
https://www.theonion.com/police-uncover-talk-show-guest-mill-in-rural-kentucky-1819565411
police uncover talk-show-guest mill in rural kentucky
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/this-timeout-video-is-toddler-angst-at-its-finest_us_5640b9c9e4b0411d3071a523
this timeout video is toddler angst at its finest
0
https://entertainment.theonion.com/don-king-enjoys-grandilomentitudinous-sandwich-1819564605
don king enjoys grandilomentitudinous sandwich
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/impact-same-sex-marriage-hawaii_n_5334779.html
hawaii legalized same-sex marriage 6 months ago -- guess what's happened since
0
https://local.theonion.com/area-man-mentions-that-people-have-said-he-looks-like-t-1819565395
area man mentions that people have said he looks like tom cruise
1
https://entertainment.theonion.com/someone-filming-b-roll-at-pike-place-market-right-now-1819590706
someone filming b-roll at pike place market right now
1
https://www.theonion.com/office-janitor-asks-to-work-from-home-1819587343
office janitor asks to work from home
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/emirates-cutting-flights_us_58f797efe4b05b9d613f8329
emirates airlines cuts flights due to trump's travel bans
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/walmart-fact-check-new-york-times_n_5525588.html
fact-checking walmart's fact-check of the new york times
0
https://www.theonion.com/nature-films-do-they-glamorize-molting-1819586367
nature films: do they glamorize molting?
1
https://politics.theonion.com/clinton-tests-positive-for-presidency-enhancing-drugs-1819564757
clinton tests positive for presidency-enhancing drugs
1
https://www.theonion.com/report-snoring-may-increase-risk-of-having-throat-slit-1823953225
report: snoring may increase risk of having throat slit during night by loved one
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trumps-tailspin_us_5994d1e3e4b055243ea135a6
trump's tailspin
0
https://entertainment.theonion.com/walking-dead-writers-regret-naming-every-single-charact-1819574533
'walking dead' writers regret naming every single character 'rick'
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trump-surrogates-cirque-du-soleil_us_58746413e4b02b5f858ad8c4
trevor noah compares trump surrogates to bizarre cirque du soleil
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/machine-guns-second-amendment-ruling_us_57769b2ee4b09b4c43c03f30
machine guns are not protected by the second amendment, appeals court rules
0
https://politics.theonion.com/veteran-congressman-can-still-remember-when-inaction-on-1823043030
veteran congressman can still remember when inaction on gun violence actually presented a moral dilemma
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/niles-paul-injury-tweets_us_55ce40f1e4b055a6dab05b84
nfl player's tweets about gruesome injury remind us that life is 'cruel sometimes'
0
https://www.theonion.com/u-s-consumers-demand-wider-selection-1819563989
u.s. consumers demand wider selection
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/reasons-we-drink-heavily-on-thanksgiving_us_56560a83e4b072e9d1c19063
reasons we drink heavily on thanksgiving
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/debut-author-virginia-fra_b_12408548.html
debut author virginia franken talks about flawed characters, her (new) addiction to coffee, what dance taught her about writing, and more
0
https://www.theonion.com/colombian-rebel-25-years-younger-than-colombian-civil-w-1819566379
colombian rebel 25 years younger than colombian civil war
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/czechs-mix-part-3-clarine_b_5932616.html
czech's mix part 3: clarinet factory (video)
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/officials-raid-home-of-activist-behind-planned-parenthood-sting-videos_us_5705aec7e4b053766188b80a
officials raid home of activist behind planned parenthood 'sting' videos
0
https://local.theonion.com/tree-outside-window-upset-man-just-changed-channel-1819591703
tree outside window upset man just changed channel
1
https://www.theonion.com/middle-manager-announces-plans-to-skedaddle-1819569161
middle manager announces plans to skedaddle
1
https://www.theonion.com/empire-state-building-reopens-spire-to-visitors-1819591611
empire state building reopens spire to visitors
1
https://local.theonion.com/child-unaware-just-how-many-of-his-toys-intended-to-ste-1819577800
child unaware just how many of his toys intended to steer him away from homosexuality
1
https://local.theonion.com/ad-for-drummer-personally-attacks-old-drummer-1819574759
ad for drummer personally attacks old drummer
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/lebron-james-safety-pin-sports-illustrated_us_584f3a28e4b0e05aded579f5
lebron james wears a safety pin on the cover of sports illustrated
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/joan-rivers-ed-sullivan-show-1967_n_5767838.html
joan rivers perfectly shut down the single woman stereotype in 1967
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/body-image-advice-from-celebrities_n_5655818.html
12 non-cliché beauty lessons according to your favorite celebs
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/meditation-in-the-menopause_b_7113446.html
meditation in the menopause
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/puerto-rico-death-toll-39_us_59dbbabae4b0b34afa5b4ba2
puerto rico's official death toll hits 39, with the final number still unknown
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/scott-walker-is-missing_b_7296994.html
scott walker is missing!
0
https://www.theonion.com/all-beef-patty-70-percent-beef-1819586879
all-beef patty 70 percent beef
1
https://www.theonion.com/mars-probe-destroyed-by-orbiting-spielberg-gates-space-1819564363
mars probe destroyed by orbiting spielberg-gates space palace
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/alton-sterling-protesters-demand-action_us_57eae080e4b024a52d2b5514
alton sterling's family demands action from baton rouge officials
0
https://politics.theonion.com/guantanamo-detainee-ruled-not-mentally-fit-to-testify-a-1819570768
guantánamo detainee ruled not mentally fit to testify about psychological torture
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/university-of-tulsa-sexual-assault-lawsuit_us_57114440e4b0060ccda34d19
university of tulsa off the hook in sexual assault lawsuit
0
https://politics.theonion.com/hamburglar-urges-senate-subcommittee-to-robble-robble-r-1819565312
hamburglar urges senate subcommittee to 'robble robble robble'
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/heres-how-you-can-help-lgbtq-communities-around-the-country_us_55a7e240e4b0c5f0322c9318
here's how you can help lgbtq communities around the country
0
https://www.theonion.com/amazon-fires-warehouse-worker-who-took-unauthorized-bre-1825765390
amazon fires warehouse worker who took unauthorized breath
1
https://www.theonion.com/hero-soldier-receives-presidential-thumbs-up-award-1819587759
hero soldier receives presidential thumbs-up award
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/senate-races_us_55d77eb4e4b08cd3359c20fd
corporate, koch money dominates early 2016 senate race spending
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/squirrel-winter-olympics-snowboarder_us_5a9120f9e4b0ee6416a386bf
this squirrel just cheated death on the olympic snowboarding course
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trump-new-domestic-gag-rule-planned-parenthood_us_5afef8cce4b0a046186b2e39
trump's new 'domestic gag rule' would strip funds from planned parenthood
0
https://www.theonion.com/ponds-institute-tops-1997-cosmopolitan-college-poll-1819586339
ponds institute tops 1997 cosmopolitan college poll
1
https://www.theonion.com/virulent-strain-of-soy-flu-traced-to-single-tofurkey-1819567271
virulent strain of soy flu traced to single tofurkey
1
https://local.theonion.com/maple-tree-wishes-it-was-given-a-say-in-becoming-memori-1826233610
maple tree wishes it was given a say in becoming memorial to man's dead wife
1
https://local.theonion.com/area-mans-biggest-accomplishment-not-ever-killing-anyon-1819572379
area man's biggest accomplishment not ever killing anyone with his car
1
https://www.theonion.com/report-you-live-in-an-embarrassing-country-1819575722
report: you live in an embarrassing country
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/washington-gun-control_us_568e6c5be4b0a2b6fb6ed356
washington governor: 'we are not afraid to take action' on guns
0
https://www.theonion.com/report-north-korea-just-enjoys-nuclear-talks-1819568124
report: north korea just enjoys nuclear talks
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/will-congressional-nsa-ac_b_7310314.html
will congressional nsa action matter?
0
https://local.theonion.com/nine-hundred-pound-man-left-to-die-1819564653
nine-hundred-pound man left to die
1
https://local.theonion.com/burden-of-parental-expectation-available-in-youth-sizes-1819590195
burden of parental expectation available in youth sizes
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/kacii-hickox-leaving-maine_n_6127146.html
report: nurse who fought ebola quarantine to leave maine
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.comhttp://www.billboard.com/articles/news/6685806/empire-pitbull-ne-yo-songs-season-2
'empire' releases pitbull & ne-yo songs from season 2
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/anderson-cooper-donald-trump-park-bench_us_5ae28812e4b02baed1b88f70
anderson cooper shreds 'incoherent' trump: 'like a crazy person on a park bench'
0
https://politics.theonion.com/guantanamo-inmates-cheer-after-learning-trump-saved-the-1822640043
guantánamo inmates cheer after learning trump saved their home
1
https://local.theonion.com/man-surveys-party-for-next-group-to-silently-stand-in-1819580192
man surveys party for next group to silently stand in
1
https://politics.theonion.com/house-condescendingly-approves-400-in-added-stimulus-1819572943
house condescendingly approves $400 in added stimulus
1
https://local.theonion.com/mother-of-slaying-victim-glad-it-was-onion-reporter-who-1819572751
mother of slaying victim glad it was onion reporter who knocked on her door half an hour after funeral
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/clinton-pollack-video_us_582081d8e4b0aac624857455
move over, katy perry. this nerdy professor has his own closing argument to make for clinton.
0
https://local.theonion.com/married-couple-only-staying-together-for-sake-of-u-s-d-1819576361
married couple only staying together for sake of u.s. divorce rate
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/stranger-things-renewed-for-season-3-by-netflix_us_5a21bbffe4b0a02abe912a21
'stranger things' renewed for season 3 by netflix
0
https://sports.theonion.com/new-grill-to-revive-foreman-ali-rivalry-1819586973
new grill to revive foreman-ali rivalry
1
https://www.theonion.com/putin-learns-putin-behind-plot-to-assassinate-putin-1819590815
putin learns putin behind plot to assassinate putin
1
https://local.theonion.com/compliment-of-pants-sounds-suspiciously-like-intent-to-1819568409
compliment of pants sounds suspiciously like intent to steal them
1
https://local.theonion.com/god-provides-gift-to-women-in-form-of-marketing-analyst-1819565235
god provides gift to women in form of marketing analyst bradley ennis
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/teacher-education-school-closures_n_6401316.html
states slow to shut down weak teacher education programs
0
https://www.theonion.com/secretary-of-transportation-spends-3-hours-cleaning-up-1819574106
secretary of transportation spends 3 hours cleaning up wikipedia page on roundabouts
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/god-created-us-in-all-of-our-diversity_us_597256bde4b09e5f6ccf38ba
attention politicians: god created and welcomes us in all of our diversity
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.comhttp://singularityhub.com/2016/06/24/the-robot-apocalypse-is-looking-damn-funky/?utm_source=Latest&utm_medium=link&utm_campaign=content%20access
the robot apocalypse is looking pretty damn funky in new boston dynamics video
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/baby-got-back-country-cover-sir-mix-a-lot_us_598171f3e4b0353fbb3372b2
sir mix-a-lot's 'baby got back' gets a stomping country twang
0
https://www.theonion.com/former-chinese-dissident-has-your-order-ready-1819567255
former chinese dissident has your order ready
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/handmaids-tale-waitlists-surge-in-libraries_us_58eb8840e4b00de141050bef
'handmaid's tale' waitlists surge in libraries across america
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/washington-players-stop-and-frisk-is-one-arresting-celebration_us_59e4c7dfe4b04d1d518358ee
washington players celebrate on the field with simulated 'stop and frisk'
0
https://www.theonion.com/judge-totally-understands-where-defendant-is-coming-fro-1819566988
judge totally understands where defendant is coming from
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.comhttp://thinkprogress.org/education/2015/07/16/3680595/untold-story-scandal-one-nations-largest-frats/
what happened at a texas frat when they thought no one was watching
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/with-friends-like-these-trump-speaks-among-bigots_us_59e055c2e4b02e99c583556e
with friends like these: trump speaks among bigots who want lgbt people dead
0
https://www.theonion.com/nra-says-parkland-students-should-be-grateful-for-guns-1824085074
nra says parkland students should be grateful for guns giving them such a memorable bonding experience
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/hillary-clinton-terrorism-polls_us_56f1780ee4b03a640a6bd474
americans trust hillary clinton over donald trump on terrorism
0
https://local.theonion.com/row-of-dusty-playstation-2-games-continues-reign-at-top-1819592810
row of dusty playstation 2 games continues reign at top of book shelf
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/chicago-cubs-world-series-dodgers_us_580c2374e4b02444efa3db79
chicago cubs head to world series for first time since 1945 after dodgers blowout
0
https://www.theonion.com/report-58-of-world-s-japanese-speakers-white-23-year-1819576309
report: 58% of world's japanese speakers white 23-year-old american males
1
https://www.theonion.com/23-year-old-arrested-for-failure-to-own-halogen-lamp-1819586330
23-year-old arrested for failure to own halogen lamp
1
https://politics.theonion.com/roy-moore-retires-from-politics-to-spend-more-quality-t-1821235915
roy moore retires from politics to spend more quality time with someone's kid
1
https://local.theonion.com/man-who-pulls-up-with-music-pumping-probably-coming-fro-1819573599
man who pulls up with music pumping probably coming from someplace cooler
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/my-friend-michael-and-the_b_5375849.html
my friend michael and the power of acknowledgement
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/oceans-8-trailer-finally-here_us_5a390e64e4b0860bf4ab0674
the 'ocean's 8' trailer is finally here and june can't come fast enough
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/charlottesville-may-put-the-brakes-on-campus-free-speech_us_599ee3b9e4b0cb7715bfd39c
charlottesville may put the brakes on campus free speech laws
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.comhttps://www.thedodo.com/dog-mouth-taped-shut-facebook-1481874724.html
woman duct-tapes her dog's mouth and brags about it
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/how-a-group-of-outcast-te_b_6879614.html
how a group of outcast teen boys taught me the value of youth sports
0
https://local.theonion.com/kinky-couple-has-mirror-in-bathroom-1823707888
kinky couple has mirror in bathroom
1