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https://www.theonion.com/fountain-simulates-vomiting-lion-1819587204
fountain simulates vomiting lion
1
https://local.theonion.com/nobody-knows-what-third-light-switch-does-1819591368
nobody knows what third light switch does
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/how-do-i-teach-my-girls-to-love-their-bodies-when-i_us_5a196d11e4b0250a107bff87
how do i teach my girls to love their bodies when i hate mine?
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/reinventing-europe_b_5537869.html
reinventing europe along these 7 points
0
https://local.theonion.com/styrofoam-to-spend-next-500-years-reflecting-on-how-wel-1820040759
styrofoam to spend next 500 years reflecting on how well it protected blender in transport
1
https://local.theonion.com/god-almost-forgot-to-kill-dave-elfman-of-boulder-co-to-1819572104
god almost forgot to kill dave elfman of boulder, co today
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.comhttp://lithub.com/what-does-it-mean-when-we-call-women-girls/
what does it mean when we call women girls?
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/bruce-dern-shares-hilarious-memory-of-alfred-hitchcock_us_56706b14e4b011b83a6ce1c3
bruce dern shares hilarious memory of a girthy alfred hitchcock
0
https://www.theonion.com/sexual-predator-gets-tenure-1819591638
sexual predator gets tenure
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/under-the-gun-documentary_us_57361490e4b060aa781a38ac
'under the gun' examines both sides of the gun-control debate, even if it will only appeal to one
0
https://www.theonion.com/dog-befriends-roomba-1819587884
dog befriends roomba
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/someone-replaced-train-sounds-with-screams_us_56d46e17e4b0871f60ec0f16
someone replaced train sounds with screams, and it's genius
0
https://www.theonion.com/doj-announces-initiative-to-deploy-smartphone-carrying-1819577692
doj announces initiative to deploy smartphone-carrying bystanders to nation's streets
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/research-finds-hysterectomy-alone-associated-with-increased_us_5a4e5e7ce4b0d86c803c7c9d
research finds hysterectomy alone associated with increased long-term health risks
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/brooklyn-brine-minimum-wage_n_5440789.html
this artisanal pickle maker pays his workers $16 an hour
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/ways-to-be-smart-with-money-retirement_us_57fbee65e4b0b6a43034b41d
4 ways retirees can be as 'smart' with their money as donald trump
0
https://local.theonion.com/man-walks-in-on-roommate-in-kitchen-having-way-with-his-1819579943
man walks in on roommate in kitchen having way with his leftovers
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/september-fails-2014_n_5890024.html
the biggest fails of the month
0
https://www.theonion.com/environmental-study-finds-air-in-chicago-now-75-bullet-1819576663
environmental study finds air in chicago now 75% bullets
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/karen-mcdougal-contract-release-enquirer-donald-trump_us_5ad7b966e4b0e4d0715cec86
karen mcdougal released from contract restricting her from discussing trump affair
0
https://www.theonion.com/obama-fantasizes-about-ordering-drone-strike-against-se-1819577687
obama fantasizes about ordering drone strike against self on last day of presidency
1
https://politics.theonion.com/ben-carson-wows-iowa-state-fair-attendees-with-massive-1819592302
ben carson wows iowa state fair attendees with massive 300-pound brain
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/diabetes-and-my-personal-_b_6003608.html
diabetes and my personal experience with obtaining health care coverage through obamacare
0
https://www.theonion.com/little-debbie-conquers-jenny-craig-in-midnight-showdown-1819586399
little debbie conquers jenny craig in midnight showdown
1
https://www.theonion.com/unstable-man-plots-to-bring-guns-to-schools-1819574765
unstable man plots to bring guns to schools
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/hugh-grant-marries_us_5b09212ce4b0568a880b9a8c
hugh grant marries for the first time at age 57
0
https://local.theonion.com/area-panties-in-a-bunch-1819564012
area panties in a bunch
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/three-strategies-for-prom_b_5655246.html
three strategies for promoting mcommerce via your app
0
https://local.theonion.com/man-practices-haircut-request-before-heading-to-barber-1819578836
man practices haircut request before heading to barber
1
https://www.theonion.com/russian-nuclear-weapons-laid-out-for-sale-on-sidewalk-1819586619
russian nuclear weapons laid out for sale on sidewalk
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/nevada-voter-fraud_us_58f663b2e4b0da2ff863e0d8
nevada secretary of state says she has evidence of voter fraud in presidential election
0
https://www.theonion.com/guard-in-video-game-under-strict-orders-to-repeatedly-p-1819577045
guard in video game under strict orders to repeatedly pace same stretch of hallway
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/mila-kunis-calls-out-trumps-controversial-views-on-immigration_us_577d1898e4b09b4c43c1be46
mila kunis calls out trump's controversial views on immigration
0
https://politics.theonion.com/pentagon-report-concludes-too-many-soldiers-have-same-n-1819571046
pentagon report concludes too many soldiers have same nickname
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/rachel-zenzinger-deserves_b_5742476.html
rachel zenzinger deserves to return to colorado state senate
0
https://www.theonion.com/everyone-who-started-watching-mad-money-in-2005-now-bil-1819574945
everyone who started watching 'mad money' in 2005 now billionaires
1
https://local.theonion.com/wave-of-dread-makes-rare-daytime-appearance-1819577461
wave of dread makes rare daytime appearance
1
https://politics.theonion.com/gop-warns-refugees-likely-to-be-driven-to-terrorism-by-1819578430
gop warns refugees likely to be driven to terrorism by way america would treat them
1
https://www.theonion.com/amazingly-humanlike-robot-able-to-commit-thousands-of-m-1819576754
amazingly humanlike robot able to commit thousands of mistakes per day
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/ferguson-police-doj-agreement_us_56e87229e4b0860f99dac220
ferguson lawmakers approve deal to curb abusive policing
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/colin-kaepernick-anthem-protest-high-school-team_us_57e93272e4b0e80b1ba307d9
colin kaepernick calls high school team's die-in protest courageous
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/hugh-hefner-fans-twitter-articles_us_59cc73d1e4b02aef6cd774af
hugh hefner fans on twitter thank him for the articles
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/how-a-trip-to-the-pet-sto_b_6256688.html
how a pet store trip can teach your kids about cruelty
0
https://www.theonion.com/news-website-refers-to-users-ceaseless-exchange-of-rac-1819575705
news website refers to users' ceaseless exchange of racial slurs as 'discussion'
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/yosemite-half-dome-death_us_5b04caa9e4b07c4ea102f8c7
hiker dies after falling from yosemite's iconic half dome trail
0
https://local.theonion.com/woman-beginning-to-suspect-husband-having-second-affair-1819575998
woman beginning to suspect husband having second affair
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trump-syria-chemical-attack_us_58e52face4b0fe4ce087845e
trump says his attitude toward syria changed with chemical attack
0
https://local.theonion.com/pilot-shudders-to-imagine-why-passengers-taking-red-eye-1825651715
pilot shudders to imagine why passengers taking red-eye to atlantic city
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/donald-trump-jrs-twitter-feud-with-jimmy-kimmel_us_59dac3e6e4b0705dc79aa943
donald trump jr's twitter feud with jimmy kimmel
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/11-things-you-wont-unders_b_6599484.html
11 things you won't understand about happiness until you are happy
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/syrian-rebels-shell-aleppo-withdrawal_us_585d1ddbe4b0de3a08f4f3c3
syrian rebels shell aleppo after withdrawal
0
https://www.theonion.com/great-lover-also-great-at-slinking-out-1819567040
great lover also great at slinking out
1
https://www.theonion.com/anthropomorphologists-find-earliest-known-evidence-of-b-1819580354
anthropomorphologists find earliest known evidence of banana walking upright
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/tennis-althea-gibson-statue-us-open_us_5a95bbf0e4b07dffeb6cf968
tennis legend althea gibson to be honored with statue at u.s. open site
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/sign-off-the-internet-and_b_5641975.html
sign off the internet and start reading outside
0
https://www.theonion.com/college-graduate-accepts-position-above-parents-garage-1819586273
college graduate accepts position above parents' garage
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/so-youre-hiring-a-consult_b_6270402.html
so you're hiring a consultant? -- a few do's and dont's
0
https://local.theonion.com/wall-wishes-it-were-load-bearing-1822115802
wall wishes it were load-bearing
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/statement-sunglasses-under-50_n_7109620.html
11 statement-making sunglasses under $50
0
https://www.theonion.com/guy-at-bar-had-similar-experience-but-better-1819569355
guy at bar had similar experience, but better
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/aline-kominsky-crumb-comic-superhero_us_5ae8a48ae4b02baed1be9686
aline kominsky-crumb is a horny, abject comic superhero
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/you-dont-need-to-live-in_b_5823430.html
you don't need to live in california to create this venice beach-inspired living room
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/time-to-redefine-and-de-s_b_6129908.html
time to redefine and de-silo online safety efforts
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/hardcore-weird-news-podcast_n_6193038.html
group of goth kids claims to see ghost of old man at cemetery
0
https://entertainment.theonion.com/country-singer-trying-to-think-of-rhyme-for-shove-you-1819565563
country singer trying to think of rhyme for 'shove you'
1
https://local.theonion.com/passenger-ruins-perfectly-good-windshield-by-flying-thr-1819592458
passenger ruins perfectly good windshield by flying through it
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-worst-audition-ever-o_b_6200400.html
my worst audition ever? or, the danger of playing paddle ball, chewing gum, and singing "we built this city" simultaneously
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/times-have-changed-for-american-families_b_5626900.html
times have changed for american families. it's time for policies to change, too.
0
https://www.theonion.com/british-royal-family-concerned-after-queen-elizabeth-ii-1819570949
british royal family concerned after queen elizabeth ii beheads 7 tourists
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/watch-parents-teach-their-kids-about-the-importance-of-consent_us_589e0910e4b094a129eadac9
listen to these parents teach their kids about consent
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/howard-dean-guns-dnc_us_579805d6e4b02d5d5ed372d8
guns are 'the ultimate public health crisis,' howard dean tells democratic convention
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/jk-rowling-donald-trump-joke_us_5adae4ace4b075b631e5ef79
j. k. rowling mocks donald trump with magical 'harry potter' taunt
0
https://www.theonion.com/new-improved-olean-30-percent-less-likely-to-make-you-1819564659
new, improved olean 30 percent less likely to make you shit in your pants
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/hilary-swank-and-brother-goof-on-wine-servers-in-most-hilarious-way_us_5abcf69ae4b06409775e0158
hilary swank and brother goof on wine tasters in hilarious prank
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/carl-paladino-buffalo-racist-remarks_us_5863f904e4b0d9a59459cf29
carl paladino's racist remarks could be the final straw for his hometown
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/keystone-xl-pipeline_b_5220123.html
why some evangelicals are praying president obama will reject the keystone xl pipeline
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.comhttps://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-switch/wp/2016/05/04/siris-creators-say-theyve-made-something-better-that-will-take-care-of-everything-for-you/
siri's creators say they've made something for you
0
https://www.theonion.com/spider-man-mask-spices-up-blind-date-1819587765
spider-man mask spices up blind date
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/marijuana-legalization-black-women_us_5a626175e4b0dc592a08a62f
amid an industry boom, incarceration for weed still threatens black women
0
https://www.theonion.com/lucky-dead-student-gets-own-page-in-yearbook-1819586473
lucky dead student gets own page in yearbook
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/when-i-came-out-in-kentuc_b_8162898.html
my experience of coming out in kentucky...
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/sleep-is-the-new-sexy-res_b_8108094.html
restore your power through restorative sleep
0
https://www.theonion.com/update-the-onion-apologizes-for-killing-innocent-bos-1819574819
update: 'the onion' apologizes for killing innocent boston man tom mahoney
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/finding-kind-a-film-and-c_b_6488982.html
finding kind: a film and campaign that asks girls to be a little kinder
0
https://local.theonion.com/man-has-mosquito-on-the-run-1819571642
man has mosquito on the run
1
https://www.theonion.com/jesus-loving-co-worker-believes-shes-not-alone-at-lunch-1819565368
jesus-loving co-worker believes she's not alone at lunch table
1
https://www.theonion.com/loft-apartments-converted-to-mayonnaise-factory-1819567584
loft apartments converted to mayonnaise factory
1
https://local.theonion.com/journey-of-self-discovery-leads-man-to-realization-he-d-1819572210
journey of self-discovery leads man to realization he doesn't care
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/ronald-pritchett-accused-fast-food_us_56586088e4b08e945feb30df
man accused of killing dad for not getting him fast food
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/its-time-to-get-serious-a_1_b_5946362.html
it's time to get serious about freedom of religion
0
https://www.theonion.com/vilsack-stays-up-all-night-with-sick-corn-plant-1819577808
vilsack stays up all night with sick corn plant
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/friends-social-media-ranking_us_55e72184e4b0b7a9633b25ad
when your friends are annoying about their social media ranking
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/phone-cosmic-ray-detector_n_5958630.html
how to turn your phone into a cosmic ray detector
0
https://politics.theonion.com/state-of-the-union-guests-sort-of-assumed-white-house-w-1819577438
state of the union guests sort of assumed white house would pay for them to get home
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/fuller-house-michelle-tanner_us_5666d6aee4b079b2818ff201
this is how 'fuller house' will explain the the olsen twins' absence
0
https://www.theonion.com/nation-confident-team-usa-can-participate-in-world-cup-1819576612
nation confident team usa can participate in world cup
1
https://politics.theonion.com/pennsylvania-republican-doubts-vote-he-just-suppressed-1819573966
pennsylvania republican doubts vote he just suppressed would even have made a difference
1
https://local.theonion.com/longtime-residents-worry-roommate-with-well-paid-job-sl-1819578403
longtime residents worry roommate with well-paid job slowly gentrifying apartment
1
https://politics.theonion.com/area-ladle-named-secretary-of-soup-1819586161
area ladle named secretary of soup
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/bernie-sanders-jane-sanders-fbi-investigation_us_594fc816e4b0da2c731c2d1d
facing fbi bank fraud investigation, bernie and jane sanders hire lawyers
0