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https://www.theonion.com/man-purchasing-pair-of-red-pants-better-be-ready-to-put-1819574851
man purchasing pair of red pants better be ready to put up or shut up
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/training-entry_n_5530314.html
training entry plus 5
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/special-olympics-timothy-shriver_us_55ba8217e4b0b23e3ce20406
what special olympians taught timothy shriver about real fun
0
https://local.theonion.com/friends-family-admit-they-expected-man-s-mental-breakd-1819578905
friends, family admit they expected man's mental breakdown to look completely different
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/balanced-budget-amendment-gop-hypocrisy_us_5acfcc5fe4b077c89ce6c4c3
balanced budget amendment fails amid gop fiscal hypocrisy
0
https://local.theonion.com/raccoon-family-tired-of-taking-care-of-rabid-father-1819579963
raccoon family tired of taking care of rabid father
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/-reforming-college-debt-p_b_5345791.html
reforming college debt, part i: the problem
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trump-immigrant-teen-abortion_us_59e9dbdae4b0df10767c5800
trump administration claims it's not blocking abortion for detained immigrant teen
0
https://www.theonion.com/coworkers-nationwide-embrace-tearfully-after-painful-3-1819575507
coworkers nationwide embrace tearfully after painful 3-day separation
1
https://www.theonion.com/new-custard-could-cause-worldwide-flandemic-1819568099
new custard could cause worldwide flandemic
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/baldwin-tough-impersonating-trump_us_5a9b42e9e4b0a0ba4ad40040
alec baldwin: it's tough to impersonate the greatest presidential impersonator of all time
0
https://politics.theonion.com/iowa-restaurant-patron-can-remember-every-breakfast-rui-1819577720
iowa restaurant patron can remember every breakfast ruined by presidential candidates
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/tuberculosis-aaron-motsoaledi-world-tb-day_us_56f02333e4b03a640a6b1c48
he looks at tuberculosis death toll and wonders why you're not worried
0
https://local.theonion.com/breakfast-in-bed-served-to-mom-who-just-got-eaten-out-1819574958
breakfast in bed served to mom who just got eaten out
1
https://www.theonion.com/bush-defends-deny-side-economics-1819567722
bush defends deny-side economics
1
https://www.theonion.com/americans-experiencing-slightly-different-kind-of-numbn-1819575556
americans experiencing slightly different kind of numbness today
1
https://www.theonion.com/vagina-medicine-left-out-where-anyone-can-see-it-1819588729
vagina medicine left out where anyone can see it
1
https://www.theonion.com/recent-saving-of-planet-attributed-to-working-assets-lo-1819564929
recent saving of planet attributed to working assets long-distance plan
1
https://politics.theonion.com/antifa-organizers-announce-plans-to-disrupt-neo-nazi-ra-1819580235
antifa organizers announce plans to disrupt neo-nazi rally or whatever else going on that day
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/drag-queen-interviews-trump-supporters_us_57bc897ae4b03d51368b070c
here's what happened when a drag queen interviewed trump supporters
0
https://www.theonion.com/first-grade-teacher-apprehends-urinator-1819566025
first-grade teacher apprehends urinator
1
https://www.theonion.com/6-year-old-boy-thinks-he-might-be-too-old-to-be-in-wome-1819573179
6-year-old boy thinks he might be too old to be in women's locker room
1
https://www.theonion.com/wistful-kim-jong-un-stumbles-onto-childhood-drawings-he-1819579203
wistful kim jong-un stumbles onto childhood drawings he made of nuclear attacks on west
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/how-epigenetics-work_us_56535d93e4b0d4093a58934c
the one thing you probably didn't know about genetic inheritance
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/teaching-english-in-vietnam_b_12584714.html
teaching english by the beach in vietnam
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/population-growth_b_6367202.html
why an aging population is not a burden on the economy
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/khloe-kardashian-womens-health_us_55c20c2fe4b0d9b28f04d713
khloe kardashian poses braless for women's health and looks amazing
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/cops-domestic-spider-australia_us_5656ddf6e4b079b2818a4d96
cops respond to reports of threats and screams... and find the unexpected
0
https://local.theonion.com/siblings-gather-around-powerpoint-to-hash-out-off-limit-1819575879
siblings gather around powerpoint to hash out off-limits topics for thanksgiving
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.comhttp://www.sunherald.com/news/local/crime/article103614217.html
will this murder be the first federal hate crime with a trans victim?
0
https://local.theonion.com/badass-surgeon-puts-on-fingerless-latex-gloves-before-o-1819592663
badass surgeon puts on fingerless latex gloves before operating
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/hillary-clinton-college-costs_us_561dc13fe4b028dd7ea5af85
hillary clinton: college costs are 'outrageously high'
0
https://local.theonion.com/grizzled-proofreader-has-seen-it-written-both-ways-1819590395
grizzled proofreader has seen it written both ways
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/harvey-weinstein-media_us_59d7b846e4b0f6eed35011fc
how harvey weinstein put the media in a headlock
0
https://politics.theonion.com/gaunt-hollow-eyed-big-bird-enters-sixth-day-of-hunger-1819592744
gaunt, hollow-eyed big bird enters sixth day of hunger strike against proposed trump budget
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/vicente-fox-donald-trump-farmers-warning_us_5ac75e64e4b07a3485e386bd
former mexican president vicente fox issues stark warning to u.s. farmers about trump
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/family-assistants-are-the-new-nanniesand-heres-why_us_5accdf22e4b0710183a6b59d
family assistants are the new nannies — and here's why we're absolutely on board
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/what-does-real-equality-l_b_7191036.html
what does real equality look like?
0
https://politics.theonion.com/jake-hyland-of-kansas-city-mo-chosen-as-nation-s-desig-1819579670
jake hyland of kansas city, mo chosen as nation's designated survivor in case rest of country wiped out during presidential address
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/9-things-your-bridesmaids_b_5731008.html
9 things your bridesmaids want -- no, need -- you to know
0
https://politics.theonion.com/proposed-law-would-require-mothers-to-look-at-pictures-1819577806
proposed law would require mothers to look at pictures of congressmen she disappointing before having abortion
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/hbo-martin-luther-king-jr-documentary_us_5aa0997ae4b002df2c6098b9
hbo's martin luther king jr. film reveals his 'dark and dangerous' final years
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/el-salvador-stillbirth-case_us_5a32ab02e4b00dbbcb5ba9e7
el salvador upholds three-decade prison term for woman who suffered stillbirth
0
https://www.theonion.com/previously-unknown-prejudice-against-japanese-surfaces-1819568866
previously unknown prejudice against japanese surfaces during game of battleship
1
https://local.theonion.com/vacationing-uncle-posts-terse-emotionless-facebook-upd-1819579620
vacationing uncle posts terse, emotionless facebook update from cruise ship
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/green-climate-fund_b_5878044.html
u.s. must do its part to support green climate fund
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/lea-michele-cutout-dress-scream-queens_us_560145cbe4b00310edf86c03
lea michele slays in a black cutout dress at 'scream queens' premiere
0
https://local.theonion.com/middle-aged-man-in-gym-locker-room-puts-shirt-on-before-1819578588
middle-aged man in gym locker room puts shirt on before underwear
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/sleep-on-it_us_55bb8b44e4b0b23e3ce26069
'sleeping on it' really does help you solve your problems
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/elena-ferrante-outed_us_57f15c4ee4b0c2407cde6e67
male writer outs female writer who wanted anonymity
0
https://entertainment.theonion.com/weird-couple-has-greatest-sex-of-their-lives-after-anno-1819574122
weird couple has greatest sex of their lives after announcement of disney-lucasfilm merger
1
https://www.theonion.com/kiss-with-wife-pretty-good-1819570959
kiss with wife pretty good
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/names-determine-destiny_n_7456928.html
here's what science says about the connection between your name and your destiny
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/wrecking-ball-cars-slow-mo-guys_us_5a340843e4b040881bea3ca2
watch a wrecking ball destroy a bunch of cars and get on with your life
0
https://www.theonion.com/local-man-vows-revenge-against-atlantic-ocean-1819569257
local man vows revenge against atlantic ocean
1
https://entertainment.theonion.com/tommy-lee-jones-tells-jimmy-fallon-he-doesnt-want-to-pl-1819573970
tommy lee jones tells jimmy fallon he doesn't want to play any of his little fucking games
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/gay-couple-thailand-butts_us_5a2af584e4b0a290f0509482
u.s. couple who bared butts at thai temple have reportedly been released
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/there-will-be-donald-trump-and-hillary-clinton-characters-on-american-horror-story_us_58b99125e4b0b998941713bb
trump and clinton characters to appear on 'american horror story'
0
https://politics.theonion.com/bored-barron-trump-counts-confederate-flags-in-inaugura-1819592713
bored barron trump counts confederate flags in inauguration crowd to pass time
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/ridiculousexcusestostayhome-boomer-style_us_55a5268ae4b0b8145f738ea8
13 #ridiculousexcusestostayhome -- boomer-style
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/barbra-streisand-jennifer-hudson_n_6164952.html
barbra streisand and jennifer hudson team up
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/halle-berry-calls-will-smith-a-champion-for-diversity-in-hollywood_us_570bc51ae4b0836057a1b745
halle berry calls will smith a 'champion for diversity in hollywood'
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/why-the-sharing-economy-i_1_b_8672120.html
why the sharing economy is harming workers -- and what must be done
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/-gun-stocks-retirement-investments_us_5a999b86e4b0479c02523418
you may be funding the gun lobby without even knowing it
0
https://entertainment.theonion.com/converse-high-tops-reveal-tv-characters-eccentric-perso-1819565489
converse high tops reveal tv character's eccentric personality
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/lumbersexual-decorating_n_7109412.html
just how lumbersexual is your home?
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/barack-and-michelle-obama-to-parkland-teens-youve-awakened-the-nations-conscience_us_5ab29bcbe4b054d118df2baf
obamas to parkland teens: you've awakened the nation's conscience
0
https://politics.theonion.com/fear-factor-creators-will-heirs-must-eat-my-ashes-to-c-1819567807
fear factor creator's will: 'heirs must eat my ashes to collect inheritance'
1
https://local.theonion.com/abused-child-running-out-of-black-crayon-1819589876
abused child running out of black crayon
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.comhttp://elections.huffingtonpost.com/pollster/2016-california-democratic-presidential-primary
poll: california narrows
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/noose-national-gallery-museum-dc_us_59467b9ae4b0f15cd5bbf2e0
another noose found near d.c. museums, police say
0
https://www.theonion.com/jostens-unveils-new-engagement-rings-for-pregnant-high-1819589544
jostens unveils new engagement rings for pregnant high-schoolers
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/felipe-the-bastard-king_b_6379104.html
felipe the bastard king
0
https://local.theonion.com/area-man-released-after-being-wrongfully-employed-for-9-1819577094
area man released after being wrongfully employed for 9 years
1
https://www.theonion.com/ergonomic-advisors-call-for-30-million-in-federal-lumb-1819564508
ergonomic advisors call for $30 million in federal lumbar support
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/alabama-democrats-roy-moore_us_5a18212ce4b0cee6c04f404f
the best chance to defeat roy moore may be for the democratic party to lie low
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/zaatari-refugee-camp-clowns_n_6374706.html
send in the clowns.. to the zaatari refugee camp
0
https://local.theonion.com/bald-man-just-going-to-have-to-accept-entire-head-will-1819592937
bald man just going to have to accept entire head will turn bright red from time to time
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/nigeria-delta-violence_n_7004604.html
violence hits nigeria's oil-rich delta region
0
https://www.theonion.com/lawyers-separate-mary-kate-ashley-olsen-in-17-hour-pr-1819567646
lawyers separate mary-kate & ashley olsen in 17-hour procedure
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.comhttp://live.huffingtonpost.com/r/segment/zalmay-khalilzad-afghanistan-interview/56e2f8828795a2c2a50001d9
watch live: fmr. afghanistan ambassador zalmay khalilzad discusses foreign policy
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/plus-size-models-fashion-week_us_57d5cfd0e4b06a74c9f53e4c
how 2016 fashion week is already more inclusive than usual
0
https://www.theonion.com/u-s-forces-take-over-key-afghan-city-that-will-be-reta-1819572383
u.s. forces take over key afghan city that will be retaken by taliban when marines leave
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/bob-murray-bne_us_5acc1ef1e4b09d0a1196b85e
coal baron: subsidize coal 'to make sure grandma doesn't die on the operating table'
0
https://www.theonion.com/surgery-required-for-new-sexual-position-1819567902
surgery required for new sexual position
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/white-house-correspondents-dinner-celebrities-_n_5260692.html
secretive whcd pre-party draws hollywood celebrities
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/app-isea-save-migrants-crossing-mediterranean_us_576165eee4b0df4d586eb174
app allows users to help save migrants crossing mediterranean
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/a-death-rowthemed-restaur_b_5839124.html
a death row-themed restaurant is about to happen, people aren't stoked
0
https://www.theonion.com/war-on-string-may-be-unwinnable-says-cat-general-1819587875
war on string may be unwinnable, says cat general
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/stressed-out-at-work-how-_b_6711034.html
stressed out at work? how to cope -- without turning to food or booze
0
https://www.theonion.com/report-u-s-exported-6-billion-tons-of-crude-web-conte-1819575583
report: u.s. exported 6 billion tons of crude web content last year
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/bhp-2017-the-year-of-electric-vehicle-revolution_us_59ca3b48e4b0cdc7733469c4
bhp: 2017 the year of 'electric vehicle revolution'
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/kelly-mae-myers-found-in-suitcase-overdose_n_6981656.html
teen found in suitcase died from overdose, coroner says
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/arabic-calligraphy-shuts-schools_us_56737382e4b06fa6887cdc1f
virginia schools close after uproar over arabic calligraphy lesson
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/military-families-harassed_us_55c2775ae4b0f1cbf1e39050
senator 'alarmed' by reports u.s. military families were harassed
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trump-administration-piss-off-uk_us_59cb6918e4b05063fe0dce99
trump administration finds a new way to fight with the uk
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/we-found-your-spirit-animal_us_56a3a674e4b0404eb8f1d106
you will never love anything as much as dc's panda loves snow
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/what-if-every-school-had-this-sign_us_58c7e725e4b0d06aa65804a2
what if every school had this sign?
0
https://www.theonion.com/bird-has-big-plans-for-cage-1819566909
bird has big plans for cage
1
https://local.theonion.com/lifelong-boise-resident-realizes-hes-never-been-to-morr-1819574202
lifelong boise resident realizes he's never been to morrison knudsen nature center
1