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https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/private-prison-companies-will-keep-locking-up-immigrants-after-doj-decision_us_57b60b6be4b00d9c3a165506
private prison companies will still lock up immigrants, despite doj decision
0
https://www.theonion.com/woman-s-head-feared-lost-forever-inside-infinity-scarf-1819592751
woman's head feared lost forever inside infinity scarf
1
https://local.theonion.com/fed-up-brookstone-body-massage-chair-now-only-entertain-1819588319
fed-up brookstone body-massage chair now only entertaining serious buyers
1
https://politics.theonion.com/trump-asks-entire-senate-to-clear-out-of-chamber-so-he-1819579987
trump asks entire senate to clear out of chamber so he can speak to comey alone
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/john-perry-barlow-dead_us_5a7beda5e4b08dfc92fff7c7
grateful dead lyricist, internet pioneer john perry barlow dead at 70
0
https://www.theonion.com/new-report-finds-americans-most-interested-in-science-w-1819579453
new report finds americans most interested in science when moon looks different than usual
1
https://www.theonion.com/new-york-times-moves-all-content-you-wont-give-a-shit-a-1819572243
'new york times' moves all content you won't give a shit about unless you make at least $200k a year into one convenient section
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/philippines-president-encourages-civilians-to-go-ahead-and-kill-drug-addicts_us_57767fc8e4b04164640f91c2
philippines president calls on civilians to kill drug addicts
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/woman-breaks-down-why-shes-not-just-a-nurse_us_57fd012fe4b0e655eab7a2b7
woman perfectly breaks down why she's not 'just' a nurse
0
https://www.theonion.com/chicago-police-department-to-monitor-all-interactions-w-1819578516
chicago police department to monitor all interactions with public using new bullet cams
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/davos-meditation_n_6522806.html
amid the chattering of the global elite, a silent interlude
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/scott-pruitt-scandals-list_us_5ac66dffe4b09d0a1191647f
at least 23 ethical issues are dogging epa administrator scott pruitt
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/wont-ask-dont-tell_b_7255748.html
won't ask, don't tell
0
https://local.theonion.com/weird-black-dot-actually-part-of-bowl-1819591326
weird black dot actually part of bowl
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/vegas-baby-well-minus-our-babies_b_5684367.html
vegas, baby! (well, minus our babies)
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/kanye-west-new-song-real-friends_us_56900997e4b0c8beacf6dfee
people really like kanye's new song 'real friends' because it's really g.o.o.d.
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/suede-spring-pieces_n_6859940.html
20 suede pieces you'll want to wear all spring
0
https://www.theonion.com/fcc-sentences-artie-lange-to-death-1819587542
fcc sentences artie lange to death
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/behold-the-title-of-american-horror-story-season-7_us_5970e60be4b0aa14ea7872e5
behold the title of 'american horror story' season 7
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/sikh-turbans-football-game_us_566db725e4b0e292150e3f6a
football-loving americans harassed for wearing turbans to nfl game
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/to-your-health_b_6931932.html
to your health
0
https://politics.theonion.com/new-job-posting-on-craigslist-clearly-for-secretary-of-1819568699
new job posting on craigslist clearly for secretary of the interior
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/seth-meyers-christmas-close-thanksgiving_us_5837f0e0e4b000af95ee0991
seth meyers loses it over thanksgiving's proximity to christmas
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/15-espn-trade-machineappr_n_6457158.html
15 ways the knicks can trade carmelo anthony
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/charlotte-gwenyth-gray-batten-disease_n_7558614.html
parents fight to save their two daughters after tragic diagnosis
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-quiet-practice-where-i-found-my-voice_us_56a988c2e4b0d82286d4ef18
the quiet practice where i found my voice
0
https://www.theonion.com/fcc-assures-nation-their-favorite-verizon-websites-wont-1821305714
fcc assures nation their favorite verizon websites won't be affected by net neutrality repeal
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/everyone-told-me-my-second-child-would-be-so-much-harder_us_5aecb3e1e4b066cd764091cc
everyone told me my second child would be so much harder than my first, but they were wrong
0
https://politics.theonion.com/report-it-still-nowhere-near-okay-to-act-like-donald-t-1819579444
report: it still nowhere near okay to act like donald trump
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/arizona-church-trump-win_us_5850355be4b0e05aded6267e
man reportedly unleashes trump-inspired anti-lgbtq rant at church
0
https://sports.theonion.com/white-sprinter-finishes-fifth-1819586495
white sprinter finishes fifth
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/wendy-davis-campaign_b_5440570.html
how i'm finding my voice with wendy davis
0
https://politics.theonion.com/obama-begins-inauguration-festivities-with-ceremonial-d-1819574406
obama begins inauguration festivities with ceremonial drone flyover
1
https://entertainment.theonion.com/lindsay-wagner-to-star-in-anything-offered-her-1819586354
lindsay wagner to star in anything offered her
1
https://www.theonion.com/democratic-senator-strides-down-corridors-of-powerlessn-1819587815
democratic senator strides down corridors of powerlessness
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/days-of-rage_us_5913159ce4b07e366cebb793
here's how trump's rage campaign opened the door to the james comey firing
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/happiness_b_5222784.html
looking for happiness in all the wrong places
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/drones-beethoven-intel-world-record_us_5693ae9de4b0a2b6fb70b843
swarm of 100 drones dance to beethoven's 'symphony no. 5' in the night sky
0
https://www.theonion.com/fatal-school-bus-crash-cements-bff-status-1819588524
fatal school bus crash cements bff status
1
https://www.theonion.com/no-makeup-look-easier-to-achieve-than-elle-claims-1819567390
no-makeup look easier to achieve than elle claims
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-outfit-that-got-this-woman-kicked-out-of-her-schools-gym_us_56b4f11ce4b04f9b57d97572
the outfit that got this woman kicked out of her school's gym
0
https://www.theonion.com/bluetooth-headset-worn-throughout-date-1819588665
bluetooth headset worn throughout date
1
https://www.theonion.com/breakroom-tension-at-all-time-high-following-mug-disput-1819565122
breakroom tension at all-time high following mug dispute
1
https://local.theonion.com/depression-symptom-checklist-speaking-to-area-man-as-no-1819578201
depression symptom checklist speaking to area man as no poem ever could
1
https://local.theonion.com/parents-formally-announce-transfer-of-expectations-to-s-1819577993
parents formally announce transfer of expectations to second child
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/halloween-saturday-night-live-snl-video_us_581472dbe4b0990edc3182ae
'saturday night live' celebrates halloween with spooktacular montage
0
https://entertainment.theonion.com/steven-spielberg-can-his-career-be-salvaged-1819586503
steven spielberg: can his career be salvaged?
1
https://www.theonion.com/local-laundromat-employs-social-media-coordinator-1819575080
local laundromat employs social media coordinator
1
https://local.theonion.com/partygoer-vows-to-fix-keg-1819566083
partygoer vows to fix keg
1
https://www.theonion.com/right-to-own-handheld-device-that-shoots-deadly-metal-p-1819574320
right to own handheld device that shoots deadly metal pellets at high speed worth all of this
1
https://entertainment.theonion.com/oscar-countdown-2002-begins-1819565949
oscar countdown 2002 begins
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/asteroid-boiled-oceans_n_7457722.html
disaster movies are tame compared to what happened 3.3 billion years ago
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/washington-dc-officer-shoots-woman-carrying-knife_us_55c6b569e4b0923c12bd22ec
washington d.c. officer shoots woman carrying knife
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/in-your-face-the-hidden-h_b_5351726.html
in your face: the hidden history of plastic surgery and why looks matter
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/a-knicks-fan-open-letter-to-santa_b_6384792.html
a knicks' fan's open letter to santa
0
https://sports.theonion.com/wolf-blitzer-decks-boston-man-who-hasn-t-been-healed-by-1819574858
wolf blitzer decks boston man who hasn't been healed by red sox baseball
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/donald-trump-and-americas-blood-sport-of-choice_us_59e900dce4b05b4f1c3a0717
donald trump and america's blood sport of choice
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/time-to-end-subsidies-that-are-destroying-forests_us_5975aaeae4b06b511b02c4ac
time to end subsidies that are destroying forests
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/netflix-to-shut-down-planned-louis-ck-comedy-special_us_5a05ceede4b0e37d2f37310c
netflix to shut down planned louis c.k. comedy special
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/donald-trump-bill-clinton-obamacare_us_57f4e4c5e4b04c71d6f118a8
trump undercuts easy obamacare attack with dig about bill clinton's infidelities
0
https://www.theonion.com/narcissist-mentally-undresses-self-1819567215
narcissist mentally undresses self
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/we-got-the-exclusive-look-at-hillarys-dnc-speech-notes_us_579a5161e4b08a8e8b5d1cc8
we got the exclusive look at hillary's dnc speech notes
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/john-kasich-david-bowie_us_56a570e9e4b0404eb8f20825
watch john kasich lead an awkward david bowie sing-along
0
https://www.theonion.com/pro-governing-is-it-faked-1819586544
pro governing: is it faked?
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/ed-burns-social-media-detox_us_55dc7cb2e4b08cd3359d48da
how a social media detox helped ed burns become more productive
0
https://www.theonion.com/outdoor-movie-guest-excited-to-watch-barely-audible-ba-1819577856
outdoor movie guest excited to watch barely audible 'back to the future' while sitting on tree root
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/north-korea-guam_us_598c3996e4b0449ed5081ef1
north korea claims it's planning to fire missiles near guam
0
https://www.theonion.com/gorillagram-employee-shot-by-white-house-security-1819587417
gorillagram employee shot by white house security
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/how-do-i-make-my-4-month-old-fall-in-love-with-reading_us_5789a482e4b0cbf01e9fd238
how do i make my 4-month-old fall in love with reading?
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/weird-things-left-in-uber_us_58de0c19e4b08194e3b8e46a
15 weirdest things that people have left behind in an uber
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/ledell-lee-execution-arkansas_us_58f8134ee4b0cb086d7df22e
arkansas executes first inmate in 12 years
0
https://entertainment.theonion.com/meet-the-other-baldwin-brother-james-1819586063
meet the other baldwin brother, james!
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/a-sadder-pride-because-of-washington-inaction_us_59405935e4b09ad4fbe3e9ca
a sadder pride because of washington inaction
0
https://entertainment.theonion.com/brad-pitt-stumbles-across-old-cardboard-box-with-gwynet-1822454158
brad pitt stumbles across old cardboard box with gwyneth paltrow's head in attic
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/shonda-rhimes-on-the-motivation-behind-her-weight-loss-journey_us_560be4b3e4b0dd850309ea0b
shonda rhimes on the motivation behind her weight loss journey
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/excellent-educators-for-all_n_5562269.html
obama plans to tackle major education inequality
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/teaching-learning-and-the_b_6362768.html
teaching, learning and the college ratings framework
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/pigeon-bread-necklace_us_589b324ce4b04061313a8df3
fashion-forward pigeon sports bread necklace in bold style choice
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/philip-coleman-chicago-video_us_56670fb1e4b079b2819028f1
video relaunches investigation into death of man held by chicago police
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/whoopi-goldberg-oscars_us_56a76fe1e4b0172c659413b6
whoopi goldberg says the oscars 'can't be that racist' because she won once
0
https://local.theonion.com/housefly-tracks-dog-shit-all-over-cucumber-slice-1819592647
housefly tracks dog shit all over cucumber slice
1
https://politics.theonion.com/hillary-clinton-opens-new-presidential-library-charting-1819580195
hillary clinton opens new presidential library charting course of purely theoretical tenure as commander in chief
1
https://www.theonion.com/bounty-brawny-ceos-wearing-down-patience-of-mutual-fri-1819570942
bounty, brawny ceos wearing down patience of mutual friend
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/sherman-alexie-writers-under-trump_us_584998f8e4b08283d6b4ed0c
sherman alexie says artists under trump will be 'noise-canceling headphones'
0
https://local.theonion.com/visibly-flu-stricken-choir-kid-really-dragging-down-who-1821530831
visibly flu-stricken choir kid really dragging down whole christmas pageant
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/nbc-ayman-mohyeldin-return-to-gaza_n_5601145.html
nbc news correspondent ayman mohyeldin returning to gaza
0
https://entertainment.theonion.com/tim-robbins-tired-of-being-typecast-as-relatively-tall-1819589144
tim robbins tired of being typecast as relatively tall characters
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/tom-cotton-waterboarding_us_5823a501e4b0e80b02ceb6e4
sen. tom cotton thinks 'tough guy' trump is ready to resume waterboarding
0
https://politics.theonion.com/leather-clad-ted-cruz-greeting-voters-at-reno-area-feti-1819592513
leather-clad ted cruz greeting voters at reno-area fetish club
1
https://local.theonion.com/man-s-family-rises-to-record-high-fourth-priority-1819577274
man's family rises to record-high fourth priority
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/mike-ditka-oppression_us_59dcd977e4b00377980c03ad
mike ditka has not been paying attention to history
0
https://local.theonion.com/what-mom-would-have-wanted-evolving-over-course-of-fune-1819576934
what mom would have wanted evolving over course of funeral planning
1
https://local.theonion.com/simple-task-of-going-to-post-office-feels-like-weight-o-1819570794
simple task of going to post office feels like weight of 10,000 boulders
1
https://local.theonion.com/report-some-crazy-shit-probably-happened-to-classmate-1819578929
report: some crazy shit probably happened to classmate being raised by grandmother
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/ivanka-trump-judaism-largest-world-religions_us_593e7933e4b0c5a35ca112f4
ivanka trump incorrectly names judaism as 1 of the 3 'largest world religions'
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.comhttp://pubx.co/VVLx1k
rescued lion has been obsessed with blankets since he was a baby
0
https://local.theonion.com/county-fair-judges-blown-away-by-heifer-1819567995
county fair judges blown away by heifer
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/best-toys-kid-products-prime-day_us_59553139e4b0da2c7321e754
the best toys to shop on prime day for kids of all ages
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-sanders-phenomenon_b_10180994.html
the sanders phenomenon
0
https://politics.theonion.com/clinton-staff-readies-emp-launch-to-disable-all-nation-1819579399
clinton staff readies emp launch to disable all nation's electronic devices
1