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https://www.theonion.com/louie-anderson-now-available-in-pasta-form-1819586584
louie anderson now available in pasta form
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/chomsky-and-krauss-why-send-humans-to-space-when-we-can-send-robots_n_7674460.html
why send humans to space when we can send robots?
0
https://www.theonion.com/historical-archives-facial-corsets-for-ladies-finally-1819570208
historical archives: facial corsets for ladies, finally
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.comhttp://www.salon.com/2015/11/25/the_false_resurrection_of_george_w_bush_dont_be_fooled_by_calls_to_reassess_his_loathsome_legacy/
the false resurrection of george w. bush
0
https://www.theonion.com/report-employers-know-within-first-5-minutes-of-job-in-1819575445
report: employers know within first 5 minutes of job interview whether they will murder applicant
1
https://entertainment.theonion.com/generous-improv-troupe-performing-for-free-1819575349
generous improv troupe performing for free
1
https://local.theonion.com/today-particularly-rough-day-for-east-village-junkie-tr-1819575773
today particularly rough day for east village junkie transvestite
1
https://entertainment.theonion.com/claire-danes-fantasized-about-1819564107
claire danes fantasized about
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/jeb-bush-is-super-awkward_us_560058abe4b00310edf80eaa
jeb bush may be the most awkward 2016 candidate
0
https://www.theonion.com/rumsfeld-makes-jerk-off-motions-as-powell-speaks-at-cab-1819587348
rumsfeld makes jerk-off motions as powell speaks at cabinet meeting
1
https://www.theonion.com/puzzled-nation-can-remember-name-ferguson-but-not-sure-1819576909
puzzled nation can remember name ferguson, but not sure from where
1
https://politics.theonion.com/biden-searching-white-house-one-last-time-for-missing-p-1819579540
biden searching white house one last time for missing pet snake
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.comhttps://grist.org/feature/an-inconvenient-truth-oral-history/
an oral history of 'an inconvenient truth'
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/fox-news-ben-carson-holocaust_us_5619580fe4b0dbb8000ed29e
fox news doctor: ben carson was right about guns and the holocaust
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/state-of-the-union-not-good-gerald-ford_us_5a70d62ae4b0be822ba12644
only one president had the guts to say the state of the union is 'not good'
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/adventures-in-our-own-bac_b_5775618.html
adventures in our own backyard
0
https://politics.theonion.com/marilu-henner-named-u-s-secretary-of-mid-level-talent-1819564379
marilu henner named u.s. secretary of mid-level talent
1
https://www.theonion.com/financial-planner-advises-shorter-life-span-1819570260
financial planner advises shorter life span
1
https://www.theonion.com/study-86-percent-of-worlds-soccer-stadiums-double-as-p-1819587695
study: 86 percent of world's soccer stadiums double as places of mass execution
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/12-things-cool-moms-do-to-embarrass-their-teen-sons_b_7193450.html
12 things cool moms do to embarrass their teen sons
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.comhttp://www.nbcnews.com/news/latino/clinton-campaign-launches-latinos-hillary-n436876
clinton campaign launches 'latinos for hillary'
0
https://local.theonion.com/flu-can-t-wait-to-get-the-fuck-out-of-area-man-s-body-1819579757
flu can't wait to get the fuck out of area man's body
1
https://politics.theonion.com/sight-of-400-war-elephants-on-horizon-marks-hillary-cli-1819578340
sight of 400 war elephants on horizon marks hillary clinton's arrival in swing state
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/10-pound-donut-marriot-hotel_us_59b98e45e4b0edff9718d80a
this hotel offers the ultimate in sweet dreams: a 10-pound doughnut
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/necessities-that-people-need_n_6192312.html
6 necessities that you probably take for granted (but many people desperately need)
0
https://politics.theonion.com/time-traveling-hillary-clinton-warns-self-to-do-everyth-1821196436
time-traveling hillary clinton warns self to do everything in exact same way
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/texas-education-board-mexican-american-studies_us_5ace8387e4b08337adc91eae
texas education board votes to create classes on mexican-american studies
0
https://politics.theonion.com/strapping-young-man-to-address-congress-1819565292
strapping young man to address congress
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.comhttp://www.civilbeat.com/2015/01/urban-hawaii-what-does-the-future-hold-for-honolulu-and-us/
what does honolulu's urban development really mean?
0
https://www.theonion.com/butterfly-on-ankle-marks-passage-into-womanhood-1819586514
butterfly on ankle marks passage into womanhood
1
https://www.theonion.com/criminal-mad-that-man-called-the-cops-on-him-1819567041
criminal mad that man called the cops on him
1
https://local.theonion.com/toddler-junkie-immediately-hooked-on-looking-at-trains-1819574810
toddler junkie immediately hooked on looking at trains after first exhilarating high
1
https://www.theonion.com/briefcase-full-of-porn-1819587805
briefcase full of porn
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trump-inauguration-womens-march_us_58826bbbe4b096b4a23196bc
these muslim teens just went to their first women's march. they could have led it.
0
https://www.theonion.com/olive-oil-in-skinny-bottle-obviously-better-1819592722
olive oil in skinny bottle obviously better
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/stop-thinking-just-move-c_b_5973740.html
stop thinking, just move: combatting ocd
0
https://entertainment.theonion.com/vin-diesel-puts-on-35-pounds-of-bone-for-upcoming-role-1819592097
vin diesel puts on 35 pounds of bone for upcoming role
1
https://politics.theonion.com/new-hampshire-primary-excites-tiny-percentage-of-popula-1819573203
new hampshire primary excites tiny percentage of population who even cares what happens anymore
1
https://politics.theonion.com/new-gop-plan-offers-tax-breaks-on-all-contributions-tuc-1820809929
new gop plan offers tax breaks on all contributions tucked into congressmen's suit breast pocket
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/homaro-cantu-dead_n_7066684.html
famed chef homaro cantu found dead
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/drunk-naked-man-streaks-womens-march-pays-the-price_us_566b0d27e4b009377b24cdb7
drunk naked man streaks at women's march, pays the price
0
https://www.theonion.com/yeti-releases-abdominable-crunch-workout-video-1819587964
yeti releases abdominable crunch workout video
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/joe-biden-on-beau-obligation-to-run_us_59f0b83ae4b03c73bf3460b7
joe biden on beau: 'he said it was my obligation to run, my duty'
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/medical-science-breakthroughs-research_n_5228516.html
these medical marvels are proof science is amazing
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/kim-davis-archbishop-vigano_us_5613d5a3e4b022a4ce5f6129
34,000 sign petition against archbishop who reportedly invited kim davis to meet pope
0
https://www.theonion.com/procrastinating-surgeon-putting-off-coronary-bypass-by-1819574368
procrastinating surgeon putting off coronary bypass by cleaning entire hospital
1
https://www.theonion.com/night-watchman-keeps-leno-under-close-surveillance-1819564904
night watchman keeps leno under close surveillance
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/lucas-museum-of-narrative-art_us_587647b2e4b05b7a465caf6c
george lucas loves art so much he's opening a $1 billion museum
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/donald-trump-kim-jong-un_us_5906f2a5e4b05c397680864c
donald trump calls kim jong un a 'smart cookie'
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/conservatives-spending-block-obama-nominee_us_56c5d4b7e4b0c3c55053e08e
conservatives start spending to block obama supreme court nominee
0
https://politics.theonion.com/bored-gop-vetting-rand-paul-just-to-kill-time-before-vi-1819576524
bored gop vetting rand paul just to kill time before viable 2016 candidate emerges
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/come-to-listen-mr-president_us_59ca33c0e4b0f2df5e83b146
come to listen, mr. president
0
https://www.theonion.com/u-s-to-offer-tax-incentives-to-companies-that-do-not-o-1819573058
u.s. to offer tax incentives to companies that do not openly make world worse at every turn
1
https://entertainment.theonion.com/kathie-lee-gifford-denies-getting-sincerity-implants-1819586385
kathie lee gifford denies getting sincerity implants
1
https://local.theonion.com/area-man-too-deep-into-haircut-to-start-talking-to-barb-1819591944
area man too deep into haircut to start talking to barber now
1
https://www.theonion.com/ravaged-named-floridas-official-state-adjective-1819567533
'ravaged' named florida's official state adjective
1
https://www.theonion.com/closed-door-meeting-to-determine-future-of-honey-roaste-1819589150
closed-door meeting to determine future of honey-roasted peanuts
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/e-cigarette-explosion_us_57daa0ece4b04a1497b2ada5
video shows e-cigarette suddenly explode in new jersey woman's handbag
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/newborn-baby-compton-buried-alive_us_56654216e4b072e9d1c69501
police arrest mother of newborn found buried alive
0
https://www.theonion.com/middle-aged-cat-can-t-begin-to-compete-with-adorable-ki-1819576334
middle-aged cat can't begin to compete with adorable kittens on internet
1
https://entertainment.theonion.com/nbc-cancels-piven-after-5-seasons-1819575796
nbc cancels 'piven' after 5 seasons
1
https://politics.theonion.com/strom-thurmond-begins-preparing-cabinet-1819565828
strom thurmond begins preparing cabinet
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/chuck-berry-tributes-death-legacy_us_58cdbe95e4b0ec9d29dc887e
fans, music greats mourn loss of mr. rock 'n' roll chuck berry
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/dolphins-chatter-problem-solving_us_5722db5ee4b01a5ebde53e6d
dolphins chatter more when solving tricky tasks
0
https://www.theonion.com/mass-grave-blasted-for-lack-of-diversity-1819567353
mass grave blasted for lack of diversity
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.comhttp://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-07-25/hiv-positive-men-taking-daily-medication-will-not-pass-virus-on/8742154
study finds hiv+ gay men with undetectable viral load will not transmit virus
0
https://entertainment.theonion.com/djimon-hounsou-to-play-every-african-in-the-world-1819588719
djimon hounsou to play every african in the world
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/love-actually-lesbian-storyline_us_5654a569e4b0879a5b0c9991
watch the moving lesbian storyline that got cut from 'love actually'
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/pakistan-madrassa-system_n_6368448.html
how pakistan's unregulated madrassa system sows religious strife
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/cards-any-newly-single-person-would-be-happy-to-get-in-the-mail_us_577d8840e4b0344d514de0b8
12 cards any newly single person would be happy to get in the mail
0
https://local.theonion.com/guy-typing-in-all-caps-supports-edward-snowden-1819575118
guy typing in all caps supports edward snowden
1
https://www.theonion.com/report-43-of-party-invitations-unprovoked-1819577020
report: 43% of party invitations unprovoked
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/most-outrageous-2015_us_5670945fe4b0688701db736e
the 11 most outrageous celebrity outfits of 2015
0
https://www.theonion.com/the-onion-apologizes-1819574603
the onion apologizes
1
https://entertainment.theonion.com/americas-love-affair-with-jim-breuer-to-start-any-day-n-1819586519
america's love affair with jim breuer to start any day now
1
https://politics.theonion.com/guy-you-canvassed-with-knows-this-great-little-italian-1819570349
guy you canvassed with knows this great little italian canvassing place
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/harvey-free-tuition-university-offer_us_59a91b04e4b0354e44095c82
this university is pledging free tuition to students displaced by harvey
0
https://local.theonion.com/ghost-of-brando-urges-man-to-finish-whole-cheesecake-1819568244
ghost of brando urges man to finish whole cheesecake
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/christina-aguilera-paper-magazine_us_5ab945cde4b0decad04ce5f4
christina aguilera is barely recognizable on paper magazine cover
0
https://politics.theonion.com/new-don-blankenship-campaign-ad-touts-jobs-created-in-w-1825779639
new don blankenship campaign ad touts jobs created in wake of upper big branch mining disaster
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/ryugyong-hotel-north-korea_us_5ac31a3ae4b09712fec3b3df
north korea's evil-looking hotel has a brighter feature
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/california-marijuana-legalization-war-on-drugs_us_5a3c1303e4b025f99e15b738
california's marijuana legalization aims to repair damage from the war on drugs
0
https://local.theonion.com/grown-man-who-owns-bane-action-figure-has-love-to-give-1819575856
grown man who owns bane action figure has love to give
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/rob-bell-emotions-you-can-trust_n_6356768.html
the feeling to ignore when you're on an emotional roller coaster
0
https://entertainment.theonion.com/stars-of-canceled-show-terrified-fans-will-raise-money-1819574719
stars of canceled show terrified fans will raise money for movie
1
https://www.theonion.com/regular-citizen-heroically-enforces-parks-no-glass-cont-1819567097
regular citizen heroically enforces park's 'no glass containers' rule
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.comhttp://thinkprogress.org/politics/2016/05/24/3780745/clinton-death-penalty/
is hillary clinton the last democratic presidential candidate to support the death penalty?
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/chuck-grassley-dianne-feinstein-flynn-fbi-briefing_us_58a4f3c0e4b07602ad518daf
bipartisan senate duo push justice department for briefing on michael flynn
0
https://politics.theonion.com/secretary-of-agriculture-gently-reminded-about-dress-co-1819566437
secretary of agriculture gently reminded about dress code
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/us-deportation-rates-hit-a-ten-year-low_us_56141ac4e4b0baa355ad93e7
u.s. deportation rates hit a 10-year low
0
https://entertainment.theonion.com/vin-diesel-breaks-off-tracking-collar-against-rocky-out-1819587058
vin diesel breaks off tracking collar against rocky outcropping
1
https://www.theonion.com/chinese-citizens-gather-in-beijing-square-to-watch-u-s-1819577234
chinese citizens gather in beijing square to watch u.s. national debt clock strike $18 trillion
1
https://www.theonion.com/report-media-coverage-of-bear-attacks-may-be-biased-1819565223
report: media coverage of bear attacks may be biased
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.comhttp://www.politico.com/story/2016/06/carson-says-trump-knows-judge-attack-was-wrong-224164
carson says trump knows judge attack was wrong
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/looking-through-the-glass_b_6838466.html
looking through the glass ceiling
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/ivanka-trump-say-her-dad-cant-be-sexist-because-he-hired-her_us_57cec2efe4b0e60d31dffffb
ivanka trump says her dad can't be sexist because he hired her
0
https://www.theonion.com/world-health-organization-releases-top-10-most-fucked-u-1819580376
world health organization releases top 10 most fucked up causes of death
1
https://www.theonion.com/historical-archives-to-day-in-american-history-1819570238
historical archives: to-day in american history
1
https://local.theonion.com/local-mosque-only-rated-1-5-stars-on-yelp-1819575012
local mosque only rated 1.5 stars on yelp
1
https://politics.theonion.com/al-gore-gets-to-third-1819586298
al gore gets to third
1