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39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "PUNCH" } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "King Henry the Fourth," } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "ARTICLE." } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "In what vein?" }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "The juggler vein, of course, stupid!" } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "I've been tellin' yer all the week to taike it 'ome, an' now yer wants to, yer cawn't!" } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "Is" } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "I say, guv'nor, 'ang on to this 'ere strap a minute, will yer, while I get a light?" } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "Dinner forget." } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "Dessay you'd rather 'ave a gentleman settin' a-side of you?" }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Yes, I would." }, { "from": "human", "value": "Same'ere!" }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "By the way, have you any children? _Applicant for Relief._" },...
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "That dog I bought last week has turned out very savage. He's already bitten a little girl and a policeman, and----" }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Lor'! how 'e's changed, mum! He wasn't at all particular what he ate 'ere!" } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "How happy could I be with _heather_!" }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Bye, bye! Can't stop! Must rush off, or I shall be _scratched for the billiard handicap_!" }, { "from": "human", "value": "Come, old man, walk on the pavement." } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "Miffins, the book-keeper, tells me that you have lost the key of the safe, and he cannot get at the books." }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Yes, sir, one of them. You gave me two, you remember." }, { "from": "human", "value": "Yes; I had duplicates made in ...
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "Revival seems to be in the hair, sir." }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Not in _mine_!" } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "THE QUESTION OF THE HOUR." } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "Wot's the matter with 'im, Willum? 'E don't seem 'isself this mornin'. I believe you've bin an' changed 'is milk!" }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "We're a rare old--fair old--rickety, rackety crew!" }, { "from": "human", "value": "D----d hot, isn't---- I--I...
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "Smith, said Brown," }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "I have to ask you a trifling favour." }, { "from": "human", "value": "Brown, it is granted before I know its purport." }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Well, the truth is, I am penniless--lend me ...
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "Ain't gettin' on at all. I'm beginnin' to think as the publick doesn't know what they wants!" } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "Do you stop at the Cecil?" }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Hullo, gov'nour; got any room? _Policeman, Driving Van_ (_with great want of self-respect_)." }, { "from": "human", "value": "Just room for one; saved a place a purpose for you, sir. _Bus-Driver._" ...
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "BITTER" } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "Ye----" }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Much off, sir?" } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "Labours" } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "Could you direct me to the river, please? _Hatless and Dripping Stranger._" }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Straight ahead. I've just come from it!" }, { "from": "human", "value": "THE ROUND OF THE RESTAURANTS." }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Tut...
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "There, John, I think that would suit me." }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Ah, John dear, you're always so complimentary! I'll go and ask the price." } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "WALKER!" } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "The City Man's Vade Mecum" } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "(_who has just been ejected_)." }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Well, _next_ time I goes into a publickouse, I'll go somewhere where I'll be _respected_!" } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "We _always_ use a big, big D!" } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "I shall want another ha'penny. Bread's gone up to-day." }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Then give us one of yesterday's." } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "Is this right for Paddington? _Linkman._" }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Look 'ere, Joe! I 'ear you've been gamblin' on the Stock Exchange! Now, a man _must_ draw the line _somewhere_; and if that kind of thing goes on, you and me will 'ave to part company!" } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "'tis curious to hear It's called" } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "Inquiring City Clerk, fresh from his Roman history, writes to ask if" }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "S.P.Q.R. stands for" }, { "from": "human", "value": "Small profits, quick returns." } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "How does this weather suit you, old chap?" }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Oh, down to the ground! You see, I'm in liquidation!" }, { "from": "human", "value": "THE GREAT PLAGUE OF LONDON." }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Ah! I--want to--ah!--see ...
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "The Universal Disinfector Company." } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "All right, ladies! You're quite safe. They're werry partikler wot they eats!" } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "Waiting for a rise." } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "FINANCIAL RELATIONS. --Our" } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "THE HAPPY MEAN." } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "Lor! ain't 'e 'andy with 'is feet!" } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "Now then, four-wheeler, why couldn't you pull up sooner? Didn't you see me 'old up my 'and? _Cabby_ (_suavely_)." }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Well, constable, I _did_ see a kind of shadder pass acrorst the sky; but my 'orse 'e shied at your feet!" } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "and" }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Well, anyway, it wasn't the guv'nor's fault." }, { "from": "human", "value": "No--it was _your_ fault, for letting 'im drive!" }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "THE WAY WE BUILD NOW. --_Indignant Houseowner_ (_he...
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "Pleashm'n, where'sh M'sht'r Brown live?" }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Why, dear me, sir, you are Mr. Brown!" }, { "from": "human", "value": "Aw right! Bu'--where do I live?" }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "I will make a present of this genooine...
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "Your 'air is very thin be'ind, sir. Try singeing!" }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Yes, I think I will." }, { "from": "human", "value": "Shampoo, sir? Good for the 'air, sir." }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Thank you. Yes." }, { "from": "...
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "Suits from 35s. to order. Beware of firms that copy us." } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "Dead Men whom I have known." } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "D' you have any 'bjecks'n t' my 'shcaping up into my rooms shec'nd floor? F'got my la'ch-key!!" }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "The Blue Lights." } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "CASTING ACCOUNTS" }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Tiens, Alphonse! Qui est cet homme-là? _Second Frenchman (who, having been here once before is supposed to know all about it)._" }, { "from": "human", "value": "Chut! Plus bas, mon ami. (_Whispers in reveren...
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "COIGNS OF 'VANTAGE." }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "BREAD OF IDLENESS." } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "THE CONTROLLER OF THE _MINT_." } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "Yes, I'm always a-sayin' to father as 'e oughter retire from the crossin', but keep at it 'e will, though it ain't just no more 'n the broom as 'olds 'im up!" } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "LETTERS OF CREDIT." }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "The clearing-house." }, { "from": "human", "value": "Hum --(_sniffs_)--" }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "_Hairdresser (with cheery gusto)._" }, { "from": "human", "value": "Direct, si...
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "I 'ope as 'ow some day, sir, _you_ may want a shillin', an' that I'll be able to give it to yer!" } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "And do they have a new Lord Mayor every year, mummie?" }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Yes, dear." }, { "from": "human", "value": "Then what do they do with the old Lord Mayors when they've done with 'em?" }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Lady been...
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "CASH ADVANCES." }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Cut and comb again." } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "Suitable opening for a pupil" }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Pushing man to take orders" }, { "from": "human", "value": "No reasonable offer refused" }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Mother's help wanted" }, { "from": "human", "value":...
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "Hi! Hi! Carn't yer look out wher' yer a-comin'? _Omnibus._" }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Garn! Shut up, jack-in-the-box!" }, { "from": "human", "value": "I wonder when that A. B. C. girl is going to serve us? I've called her half-a-dozen times." }, {...
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "Excuse me, mum, but do you believe in woman's rights?" }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Most certainly I do." }, { "from": "human", "value": "Oh well, then stand up for 'em!" } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "Good-bye" } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "THE DESERTED VILLAGE." }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "I say, cabby, drive as fast as you can to Waterloo--Leatherhead!" }, { "from": "human", "value": "Town very empty!" } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "THE ABSENT-MINDED BEGGAR" }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Yes, sir, since they're begun poisoning the beer, we _must_ drink _something_, mustn't we?" }, { "from": "human", "value": "Are you still there, Billy? I thought you wos lost." }, { "from": "...
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "Elephant and Castle route_)." }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Fares, please!" }, { "from": "human", "value": "Two elephants!" }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "LIFE'S LITTLE IRONIES" }, { "from": "human", "value": "Hullo, Gus! What are y...
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "Hullo, Jim! Wot are yer doin' 'ere? Caretakin'?" }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "No. I'm the howner, 'ere." }, { "from": "human", "value": "Why, I did a bit o' plumbing in the 'ouse, an' I took the place in part payment for the job." }, { "from": "g...
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "ON 'CHANGE" }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Mornin'. Fresh mornin', ain't it?" }, { "from": "human", "value": "But if he's badly hurt, why doesn't he go to the hospital? _British Workman._" }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Wot! In 'is dinner-time!!...
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "The thousand masts of Thames." } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "I'm not going to the Zoo." }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Ah, well, sir, have some to take home to the children!" }, { "from": "human", "value": "What is the meaning of this, policeman?" }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Labour day, miss." }, {...
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "A loan I did it!" } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "Now then, old 'un----Fore!" }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "You wouldn't do that for me, would yer?" } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "Sorry to say, sir, there's a saddle we can't account for. Can't find out who it was sent to." }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Charge it on all the bills." } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "LAP" } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "A City Clerk and a Naturalist" } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "Sweet spirit, 'ear my prayer!" } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "Pierre Loti." } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "From Pillar to Post." } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "Company" }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Company" }, { "from": "human", "value": "Shave, or hair cut, sir?" }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Do they sell good 'sperrits' at this 'ouse, mister?" }, { "from": "human", "value": "Mos' d'sch...
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "That's a porkypine, Sarah." }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "No, it ain't, Bill. It's a orstridge!" } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "THE BEST POLICY." } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "Did you take old Major Dumbledore's ribs to No. 12? _Boy._" }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Yes, sir. _Master Butcher._" }, { "from": "human", "value": "Then, cut Miss Wiggles's shoulder and neck, and hang Mr. Foodle's legs until they're quite tender!" },...
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "Let us prey." }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "What, back in town already, old chappie?" }, { "from": "human", "value": "Yes, old chappie. Couldn't stand the country any longer. Cuckoo gave me the headache!" } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "DUPLICATES." } ]
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "Yesh. Thash allri, but wersh my _feet?_" }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "You are very late, Mr. Jones. Go back at once, and come at the proper time!" }, { "from": "human", "value": "Hair begins to get very thin, sir." }, { "from": "gpt", "value"...
39707
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "Wot's it say, Bill, on that old sun-dial? _Second Workman_ (_reading deliberately_)." }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "It says, 'Do--to--day's-work--to--day.' _First W._" }, { "from": "human", "value": "Well, you see, mum, it were like this. I were a 'addick...
527090
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "Will I! I said." }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Where shall I meet you?" } ]
18883
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "Miranda of the Balcony," }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "The Courtship of Morrice Buckler," } ]
18883
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "How's the leg?" } ]
18883
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "It gave me trouble during the winter, replied Sutch." }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "But that was to be expected." } ]
18883
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "I thought that I should find you here," }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "It was my wife's favourite corner, answered Feversham in a quite emotionless voice." }, { "from": "human", "value": "She would sit here by the hour. She had a queer liking for wide and ...
18883
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "There will be a leaf out of our table to-night." }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Yes. Collins, Barberton, and Vaughan went this winter. Well, we are all permanently shelved upon the world's half-pay list as it is. The obituary column is just the last formality which ga...
18883
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "That's curious," } ]
18883
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "You renew those days for me, said he." }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Though the heat is dripping down the windows, I feel the chill of the Crimea." }, { "from": "human", "value": "The stories renew them," }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "No. It i...
18883
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "Must I go, father?" } ]
18883
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "Besides, it's the boy's birthday, added the major of artillery." }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "He wants to stay; that's plain. You wouldn't find a youngster of fourteen sit all these hours without a kick of the foot against the table-leg unless the conversation enter...
18883
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "Are you blind?" } ]
18883
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "Lord Wilmington. One of the best names in England, if you please. Did you ever see his house in Warwickshire? Every inch of the ground you would think would have a voice to bid him play the man, if only in remembrance of his fathers.... It seemed incredible and mere camp rumour,...
18883
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "I can tell you an incident still more curious, he said." }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "The man in this case had never been under fire before, but he was of my own profession. Life and death were part of his business. Nor was he really in any particular danger. The af...
18883
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "Queer incomprehensible things happen. Here are two of them. You can only say they are the truth and pray God you may forget 'em. But you can't explain, for you can't understand." }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Can you?" } ]
18883
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "Harry understand! exclaimed the general, with a snort of indignation." }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "How should he? He's a Feversham." }, { "from": "human", "value": "Are you blind?" } ]
18883
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "Look at the clock, Harry." }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Good night, sir," } ]
18883
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "Harry, he said, and in spite of his embarrassment he had the tact to use the tone and the language of one addressing not a boy, but a comrade equal in years," }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Nothing," }, { "from": "human", "value": "The mere telling sometim...
18883
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "You will find my address upon this card. Perhaps some day you will give me a few days of your company. I can offer you on my side a day or two's hunting." }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Thank you, sir, Harry monotonously repeated." }, { "from": "human", "v...
18883
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "Gentlemen, he said," }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "and there was great applause and much rapping on the table." }, { "from": "human", "value": "It is the anniversary of our attack upon the Redan. It is also Harry Feversham's birthday. For us, our work is ...
18883
Unknown Title
Unknown Author
[ { "from": "human", "value": "There will be trouble," } ]