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24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "After all I am united to the church only on the side of art. I only go there to see or hear and not to pray; I do not seek the Lord, but my own pleasure. This is not business. Just as in a warm bath I do not feel the cold if I am motionless, but if I move I freeze, so in the chu...
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "It is monstrous, I have in fact spoiled for myself the only pleasure that remained to me--the flesh. Once I amused myself without blame, now I pay for my poor debauches with torments. I have added one more weariness to existence--would that I could undo it." }, { "from":...
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "Yes, but then we must follow her directions and practise the sacraments she orders!" }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "If I believed that Jesus Christ is God, and that eternal life is not a decoy, I would not hesitate to change all my habits, to follow as far as possible...
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "I am no longer a child; if I have Faith, if I admit Catholicism, I cannot conceive it as lukewarm and unfixed, warmed up again and again in the saucepan of a false zeal. I will have no compromise or truce, no alternations of debauch and communions, no stages of licentiousness an...
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "What am I to do? If I do not obey orders, which I feel with increasing force, I am preparing for myself a life of uneasiness and remorse, for I know well I ought not to remain for ever on the threshold, but to penetrate into the sanctuary and stay there. And if I make up my mind...
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "It is not encouraging to have to mix with this flock of pious geese," }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "You have nothing to do with others, were you more humble, these people would certainly seem less offensive; at any rate they have the courage you lack, they are not as...
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "If that moment ever come it will be hard to bear, said he;" } ]
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "Without counting that in any case, the time would be ill-chosen were I now to make such an effort, for never have I been so tormented as since my conversion; Catholicism unfortunately excites unclean suggestions when I prowl about it, without entering." }, { "from": "gpt...
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "In that case Catholicism would play a part at once repellent and depressing. It would stimulate these sick desires, and weaken me at the same time, would give me over to nervous emotions without strength to resist them." }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "I do not practis...
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "I lie, for I know well, that if I made the least sign of resistance, I should be powerfully aided from on high." } ]
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "Up to now I have been able to walk alone, without earthly assistance, without advice; I have been converted without the help of anyone, but now I cannot make a step without a guide, I cannot approach the altar without the aid of an interpreter, and the bulwark of a priest." } ...
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "I know what I am; at the end of a couple of interviews I shall rebel, and become wicked." } ]
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "And then ... then ... I am not reduced to that, for indeed I know one in Paris, a true mystic. Suppose I go and see him!" } ]
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "The life of that victim of the sins of her time is a magnificent subject, he said;" } ]
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "She is the true patroness of the sick," }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "From the point of view of the higher mysticism, Lidwine is wonderful, for in her we can verify that plan of substitution which was, and is, the glorious reason for the existence of convents." } ]
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "Well, Lidwine took on herself all bodily ills, she lusted for physical suffering, and was greedy for wounds; she was, as it were, the reaper of punishments, and she was also the piteous vessel in which everyone discharged the overflowings of his malady. If you would speak of her...
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "Notice, he said," }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "For me, he said calmly," }, { "from": "human", "value": "I know that, when he can, he still says his mass each morning in a convent; I believe also he receives a few of his brethren for confession in his own...
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "Yet I am sorry; suppose I write, or go to him one morning, but what have I to say to him? I ought to know what I want before I allow myself to trouble him. If I go only to complain, he will answer I am wrong not to be a communicant, and I have nothing to answer. No: the better p...
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "Then that is agreed on; suppose I go to-morrow? But he checked himself at once." }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "There was nothing pressing; there was plenty of time; better take time and think; ah, yes, here is Christmas close upon us, I cannot decently trouble a prie...
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "In Paris, at any rate, a singular baptism of music is reserved for the New-Born." } ]
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "I can imagine, thought Durtal," } ]
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "It must be admitted, thought Durtal," } ]
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "At any rate, thought Durtal," } ]
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "But this must be a church, thought Durtal, looking at the little clock tower, and the three or four round bays, which seemed cut out in emery paper to look like the black rough mortar of the wall;" } ]
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "Dixit Dominus Domino meo." } ]
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "Gloria Patri et Filio," }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Thou art not worthy to name the name of God, thou wilt pray only thus: 'Qui plasmasti me miserere mei;' Thou who hast formed me have mercy on me." } ]
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "Unto us a child is born." } ]
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "No, he thought as soon as he was left alone;" }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "I will not meddle with the ceremony; first I know nothing about it, and I should spoil it all, and again I will not make a fool of myself." } ]
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "Ignorance leads to the same result as knowledge. Among the Carmelites are rich and pretty women who have lived in the world and left it, wholly convinced of the vainness of its joys; and these nuns, who evidently know nothing, have had an intuition of that vacuity which it has n...
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "Adeste Fideles, while below the novices and the faithful repeated after each stanza the sweet chorus of invitation," }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Venite adoremus." } ]
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "Well, after all, I have not come so badly out of it," } ]
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "Laudate Dominum, omnes gentes," } ]
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "They are the Franciscan missionaries of Mary, answered the man," } ]
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "In certain orders, they seem even to prune it of the greater part of its branches, and concentrate the threads of sap which remain in a few twigs;" } ]
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "It is admirable," } ]
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "We cannot be proud of ourselves, in thinking of the Carmelites, or even of those humble Franciscan Tertiaries, who are after all more vulgar. It is true they do not belong to a contemplative order, but all the same their rules are very strict, their existence is so hard that the...
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "Oh, all the same I would desire to flee away, a thousand miles from Paris, I know not where, into a cloister. My God! yet this is very madness that I speak, for I could not stay two days in a convent; nor indeed would they take me in." } ]
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "All the same, he said, rising," } ]
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "It is like an hotel, or an old maid's lodging," } ]
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "Nothing was wanting but a cage of canaries, photographs in plush frames, shell-work and crochet mats." } ]
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "And our Blessed Lidwine, how do you get on with her?" }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Ah, I have not even begun her life; I am not in a state of mind which allows me to engage in it." }, { "from": "human", "value": "Come, what is the matter? Can I be of any...
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "You are more than forty, he said, when Durtal was silent;" }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "This is an indulgent priest," }, { "from": "human", "value": "But, continued the abbé," }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Do you pray? I do not ask if you say...
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "And then I have the strange impression that the Virgin, attracted and retained by so great faith, only spends a little while in other churches, goes there as a visitor, but has made her home, and really resides in Notre Dame." }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Come, I se...
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "Now to come back to our point; I tell you you will do wisely, if on your bad evenings you will attend Benediction in that church. I shall be surprised if you do not come out cleansed and at peace." }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "If he have only that to offer me, it is...
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "Confess, he said, looking him in the face," }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Oh, Monsieur l'Abbé," } ]
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "For you should desire them, and it should come from you rather than from Him; be sure that sooner or later you will thirst for Penance, hunger for the Eucharist. Well, when unable to restrain yourself longer, you ask for pardon and entreat to be allowed to approach the Holy Tabl...
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "Therefore that you may not be at the mercy of a troublesome impression, certain precautions must be taken. In the state of weakness and feebleness in which you are, a disagreeable face, an unlucky word, antipathetic surroundings, a mere nothing would be enough to rout you--is it...
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "It is the same with the passion for gain. Every being who allows himself to be overcome by that hateful sin, pays for it as a rule before his death. Look at the Panama business. Cooks, housekeepers, small proprietors who till then had lived in peace, seeking no inordinate gains,...
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "Well! no good-bye; come and see me soon again." } ]
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "Well, well ... what is the time? He looked at his watch." }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Six o'clock, and I do not care to go home. What shall I do till dinner?" } ]
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "Yet, he continued, remembering the interview he had just had with the priest," }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "--and he thought of a woman to whose vagaries he was riveted--" } ]
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "It is disgusting that I should come here to soil the church with my horrible dreams; I had better go." }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Perhaps if I visit Florence once again, I may perhaps put an end to this haunting sense of her presence, seeing and knowing the realit...
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "Saint Denys the Areopagite, Saint Bonaventure, Hugh and Richard of Saint Victor, Saint Thomas Aquinas, Saint Bernard, Ruysbröck, Angela of Foligno, the two Eckharts, Tauler, Suso, Denys the Carthusian, Saint Hildegarde, Saint Catherine of Genoa, Saint Catherine of Siena, Saint M...
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "And she goes still further into the mystery, even to the end; bounds with a final spring to the very gates of heaven, but then she faints on adoration, and being unable to express herself further, she soars, describing circles like a frightened bird, wandering beyond herself, in...
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "But in spite of this I prefer those mystical writers who have less self-analysis, and discuss less, who always do throughout their works what Saint Teresa did at the end of hers--that is, who are all on fire from the first page to the last, and are consumed and lost at the feet ...
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "Then if he is an admirable theologian, he is also a rigorous and clear-sighted saint. He has not those weaknesses which are natural to a woman; he does not lose himself in digressions, nor return continually on his own steps; he walks straight forward, but you often see him at t...
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "And I should be quite content with this middle class joy. The price paid in advance for the exaltation described by Saint John disconcerts me." }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "But do you know that if it be so, replied Durtal," }, { "from": "human", "value":...
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "I have at least gained peaceable evenings and quiet nights," } ]
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "I now understand, thought Durtal," } ]
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "Kyrie eleison and the opening invocations. The Virgin came upon the scene to a dance measure like a ballet girl; but when certain of her attributes were paraded, and certain of her symbolical names declared, the music became singularly respectful; it became lower, halting and so...
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "Inviolata, that languishing and plaintive Sequence, with its clear and drawling tune so weak, so frail, that it would seem as if it should only be sung by voices in a hospital; then the" }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Parce Domine, that antiphon so suppliant and so sa...
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "Laudate" }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Verily, he said, as he entered his lodgings," } ]
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "Tantum ergo" } ]
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "Whether these have been authentic or controverted matters little, he thought." }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "For even supposing Our Lady were not there at the moment her coming was announced, she was attracted there, and dwells there now, retained there by the tide o...
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "Well, are you now certain that you have that repentance which you assure me you have not experienced up to this time?" }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Yes, but what is the good of it, if one is so weak, that in spite of all efforts one is certain to be overthrown at th...
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "To be just, human nature would be too ignoble without pain, for it alone can raise the soul while purifying it, but all that is nothing less than consoling, he added." }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "What an accompaniment to these sad thoughts are the wailing voices of...
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "In fact I do not at all know how I stand, he thought;" } ]
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "Busy yourself in prayer, and bow down your back," }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "But I am tired of bending my back, and of trampling always on the same spot, cried Durtal." }, { "from": "human", "value": "I have had enough of feeling myself taken by the sh...
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "Before long you will be ripe, and then without need to shake the tree you will fall off of yourself. The question we have now to answer is into what receptacle we must put you, when at last you fall away from your life." } ]
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "This is too strong. I know well that the abbé would say that we need not concern ourselves with these singularities and these errors, but that the 'Cité Mystique' is to be read in relation to the inner life of the Blessed Virgin. Yes, but then the book of M. Ollier, which treats...
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "Now, you can verify it yourself, the Gregorian melody is not thus treated; every voice takes its own part, and is isolated. Next, plain music allows no accompaniment, it must be chanted alone, without organ, it bears at most that the instrument should give the intonation and acc...
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "Kyrie Eleison, sharp and almost tragic, the decided cry, so loving and so grave, of the" }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Gloria in Excelsis," } ]
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "Ah, you were very right to send me there," } ]
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "Moreover, beyond the authenticity of the vocal text, and the manner of rendering it, there are still two essential conditions for restoring the special life of these melodies, and they are hardly found except in cloisters, first Faith, and next the understanding the meaning of t...
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "Now without wishing to abate your enthusiasm for the musical honesty of these nuns, I am bound to say, that in order to understand this magnificent chant in its height and breadth, you must hear it, not winnowed by the mouths of virgins, even if unsexed, but as it issues, unsmoo...
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "And so they lead the most austere existence of any nuns. They scarcely taste flesh; they rise at two in the morning to sing Matins and Lauds, night and day, summer and winter, they take turns before the taper of reparation, and before the altar. It need not be said, continued th...
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "It is most frightful! I quite admit, said Durtal," } ]
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "Other nuns undergo no precise attack, no assault to which a name can be given, but without any definite reason they languish and die suddenly, like a taper, blown out. The torpor of the cloister kills them." }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "But indeed, Monsieur l'abbé, ...
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "An old Benedictine abbess, whom I knew at Saint-Omer, an incomparable guide of souls, limited before all things the length of confessions. The moment she saw the least symptoms arise she gave two minutes, watch in hand, to the penitent, and when the time was up she sent her back...
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "Yet ... yet ... I must admit it, the confessor is a danger for a convent, not that I suspect his honour, that is not at all what I mean, but as he is generally chosen from among the bishop's favourites, there are many chances that he may be a man who knows nothing, and quite ign...
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "She scourged herself with branches of juniper and holly, then poured vinegar into her wounds, and sprinkled them with salt, she slept in winter on the snow, in summer on bunches of nettles, or pebbles, or brushes, put drops of hot lead in her shoes, knelt upon thistles, thorns a...
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "But, continued the abbé," }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Semaine religieuse," }, { "from": "human", "value": "See, he said, and read," }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "That is a ceremony which interests me much." }, { "from": "human", ...
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "They were in fact a troop of penitent girls, and the rule of their subjection was savage. They were whipped, locked up, subjected to the most rigid fasts, made their confessions thrice in the week, rose at midnight, were under the most unremitting surveillance, were even attende...
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "It is certain, he thought," } ]
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "Well, here I am" } ]
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "Jesu corona virginum," } ]
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "What is it you ask?" }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Father, feeling in myself an ardent desire to sacrifice myself to God, as a victim in union with our Lord Jesus Christ, immolated on our altars, and to spend my life in perpetual adoration of His divine Sacrament, un...
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "Accipe, charissima soror, lumen Christi." } ]
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "Suffer and you will be happy; love your spouse, and you will see how tender He is to His elect. Believe me, His love is such that He will not even wait till you are purified by death to recompense you for your miserable mortifications, your poor sufferings. Even before your hour...
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "It is clear, thought Durtal," } ]
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "Aperite mihi portas justitiae: Ingressa in eas, confitebor Domino." } ]
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "Haec porta Domini: Justi intrabunt in eam." }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Ingrediar in locum tabernaculi admirabilis: usque ad domum Dei." }, { "from": "human", "value": "Haec est domus Domini firmiter aedificata: Bene fundata est supra firmam petram." ...
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "Into your hands, Madame, we commit this new bride of the Lord, sustain her in the holy resolution she has so solemnly taken upon her, in asking to sacrifice herself to God as a victim, and to dedicate her life in honour of our Lord Jesus Christ, sacrificed on our altars. Lead he...
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "Well?" } ]
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "Then there was the family present at the taking the habit, and if the daughter filled me with enthusiasm I could not restrain myself from pitying the mother. Think if the daughter died, the mother would embrace her, would perhaps speak to her, or if she did not recognize her, it...
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "You may say what you please, but there is a tragedy in that door which closed upon her." }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Therefore in the Benedictine convent in the Rue Tournefort, the scene takes place in the interior of the convent, and the family is not present, the...
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "I laugh, because having had some business to transact with my nun aunt of whom I was speaking, only visible like your abbess through a trellis, I found out how to read her thoughts a little." }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "Ah! how was that?" }, { "from": "huma...
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "In fact, La Trappe is an offshoot of Citeaux, and is much more the daughter of Saint Bernard, who was during forty years the very sap of that branch, than the descendant of Saint Benedict." }, { "from": "gpt", "value": "But, so far as I remember, the Trappists are th...
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "At the present day, as I have just said, all the Trappists form only one and the same institute under the name, Order of Reformed Cistercians of the Blessed Virgin Mary of La Trappe, and all resume the rules of Citeaux, and live again the life of the cenobites of the Middle Ages...
24096
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[ { "from": "human", "value": "There is one in which I make my retreats, Notre Dame de l'Atre, a small Trappist monastery a few leagues from Paris, which is quite the most seductive of shelters. Besides that the Lord really abides there, for it has true saints among its children, it is delightful also with it...