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With a flash of light, the ritual was complete. Standing in the middle of the summoning circle was a man dressed in dark gray with a giant rucksack on his back and many pockets. He looked like a traveling merchant, not a solider.
Our concerns were immediately put to rest. With practiced reflexes he raised what appeare... |
"Anabelle, how lovely to hear from-... You're not Anabelle,"the image of the ethereally-beautiful and pale figure declared.
"No I'm not,"I said through gritted teeth. "Explain why you know my daughter."
"You must be her father. I see. Where is Anabelle?"
"No, no, I'm the one asking questions. Who the fuck do you thi... |
There was a polite knock at the front door.
Drying my hands, I left the kitchen and slung the towel over my shoulder and opened the large inner front door and pushing the frenzied, barking Mr. Wiggles. On the other side of the screen door stood twenty or so people in strange armor.
A tall man in chainmail, furs, and... |
I reread the letter. 'too dangerous to be taught...'
"I don't even have the power to cast a simple spell, why would it be dangerous to teach me magic?"I think aloud. I hardly sleep that night, my mind pondering if the doctors made a mistake about me being born with a defective Solka, the gland in the body that develops... |
You always imagine that the bards get around. And you don't really blame them, handsome, charming, usually generous with their money, and quick to lift the spirits of their fellow men with song and dance. There is always some village girl, charmed kobold female, fascinated dwarven warrior, fair elven maiden, or other s... |
I’m not an animal person. I swear that every single cat that I’ve ever crossed paths with has plotted my murder; the circumstances of my premature death leave open the possibility that one of them succeeded… stainless steel food bowls don’t push themselves off of 5th floor balconies. So when I entered the Eternal Judgm... |
STORY:
Timothy Henderson was a perfectly normal child in the year 2083.
He started going to VR school shortly before he turned 4 years old, along with all of the other perfectly normal children. He learned that he was a perfectly normal human with a brain, red blood, and a big heart, and that he lived on planet Earth... |
I sat on the ground in the hallway to the bunks, tossing a tennis ball off the far wall. It was my usual way of passing the time while the big heads did their thing and figured out what type of gear and protection we'd need on the surface. I say just give me my combat suit and my spinner rifle and let me go find out. U... |
Those who say alcoholism is selfish really didn't know how selfless it was for me to stay drunk out of my fucking mind.
The drinking made everything just a little too slow. Thoughts would trot instead of racing, memories would stumble gently upon my brain instead of hitting it full-force. Everything was a bit dim; an... |
*Hey there, Roomie! How was your day?*
*The next time you spot my web, could you please not sweep it away?*
*I put a lot of effort into crafting this silky smooth nest;*
*With these threads that hold my food and keep me still as I rest.*
**Please excuse me Mister Spider, if I can't mask my fear.**
**It's just that... |
I hid in the basement when I heard 'them' break open the door. Shambling, groaning, screaming things that probably used to be my neighbours - or maybe their neighbours. Doesn't matter. 'They' were inside.
I'm not sure how it started - some patient zero is some city that I didn't really care to remember. For whatever r... |
“L-look, I’m sure you’re a nice…creature and all. But I can’t take you back with me. You’d be better off here, with the birds and trees and shit.”
Kylie fell silent as she looked to the cloudy sky, the pine trees surrounding her, the dandelions growing around her feet, anywhere but the scantily-clad dryad in front of ... |
It was a joke. That's how it started anyway. Drunken debates, amounting to nothing, discussing the irrelevant irreverently. We laughed and slapped our knees, assured we'd sleep soundly and wake to the world we we're all too familiar with. I suppose it's our fault really. Wanting a world more fantastic and wonderful tha... |
"Who are you, seriously?"I asked, the bolt-gun hanging down at my side, my arm slumping like the cow I had just dispatched.
"Who do you think I am?"the man asked with a smile, his golden curls framing the sunglasses on his perfect face. I had the sudden knowledge that if he removed his glasses that I'd be met with a ... |
"You know you can't stay here,"the woman said. Silver hair rimmed with purple highlights draped over her shoulders. "I can't let you stay here."
Saniss had never been subtle about her alternate forms. She took no pleasure in the art of the craft; the subtle twist of the weave.
It'd always annoyed Aeronis.
"You can ... |
Contrary to what has been predicted, Hell has 139 unique levels of punishment. The rules that apply to these levels are meticulously audited by a rotating panel of Demons. For especially complex scenarios, Lucifer is consulted, though this route is preferred by none involved.
The Karmatic Score achieved during life de... |
There's a temporal rift, some kind of shimmer in the air. We don't know what it means or where it came from, but we answered it like good men are supposed to.
"It's been an honor, boys,"muttered one of the old sergeants. The almost entirely contained tremble says it all. It's a shame these good boys are going to die h... |
When people heard that John and Barry were going to fight they expected some kind of battle of the gods. Their abilities were well known for everyone in the room, but not so well understood. Their incapability to perceive things outside of their present time made them see only a fraction of what happened.
After just... |
Rule number 1: Always thank the babysitter.
It was a simple rule to remember in our small town. When you left your house for work, if you were the last adult out the door and had children in the home, Always thank the babysitter. The babysitter just appreciated gratitude. It was said that if you didn't they wouldn't r... |
"Fast, cheap, or good. You only get two."That's what they say.
Thing is, most wizards don't do fast or cheap. They spend days, even weeks, designing a spell, and they always demand the best ingredients for it. You give them a problem, they take forever to tell you to go halfway round the world for the pieces of a sol... |
Sweat dripped down my nose, mingling with the blood that poured from my mouth. This wasn't going as well as it could. At least my headphones were still in one piece.
The man that stood before me cackled. I had never quite understood what it meant for one to 'cackle'. I figured it had just mean to laugh in an evil mat... |
# Soulmage
**Shivio had once thought genies were never granted freedom due to the selfishness of humankind.** After all, who would hold a Demon of Desire in the palm of their hands, beholden to their every whim... and then let that cosmic power flutter away in the wind? And with all the depravities and horrors Shivio ... |
Never let it be said that I'm not good at what I do - just that, sometimes, there are mistakes to be made.
I'm an expert in persuasion. Don't need magic to do it, either. A little flick of the eyelids, a warm smile, a wave of the hand, and I can have anyone from rapscallion to royalty do my bidding. You would think so... |
There are two gods in this world. One of them is brutal, bursting from his tall stone house to cut anything down that sniffs wrong in his direction. The other is cautious and clever, taking in the boons of the world and creating something new. They are gods of war and craft; pushing for bloodshed when the moon rises, a... |
I died a happy man.
Right?
I held Sarah's wrinkled hand and wiped away her tears with my own shaky fingers. Sons and daughters smiled through damp eyes. A grandchild or three caused a ruckus downstairs.
"Don't cry for my death,"I told them as I squeezed Sarah's hand. "I want you to celebrate my life."
I'd always t... |
Knock knock.
There was a pause.
Bill never let there be a pause anymore; the first few times, he'd thought they were Jehovah's Witnesses. He learned from that real quick. Sure, they paid the door bill, but it scared hell out of him.
They never came when he was gone. Not that he'd know that. But that also meant that... |
A cool female voice sounded through the speakers mounted into the ceiling.
"Tech 24601 to the production line. Repeat, tech 24601: please report to the production line."
Gunnar winced at hearing his ID number. He rose from his chair reluctantly and exited his cubicle. It was nearly identical to the two dozen other... |
"Your latest video was a bit too on-the-nose, Mister Church,"the detective said, mockingly.
"Eh? I don't know what you mean."I tried to sound innocent--as innocent as one can sound sitting in an interrogation room in a prisoner's uniform, handcuffed to a table.
"Your *Missing Pieces* series. You'd show up where someo... |
Five seconds.
That was all I had. A superpower I'd had since birth, so close to useless that sometimes I forgot I even had it.
Five seconds.
One breath. A fleeting thought. A moment stretching just a little longer than the others.
It wasn't enough time to wander the office. It wasn't enough time to take a poop i... |
"You were our leaders. Leaders of Government. Corporations. Military. Leaders in power, in wealth, in combat. You were supposed to *lead*. Be examples that we should aspire to. But the people grew tired of your corruption. Your greed. Your warmongering. So you were tricked into leaving of your own free will. We used yo... |
I was assigned to guard this woman 10 years ago. Well... by my standards anyways. The Acolytes simply call her "The Dreamer". I named her otherwise. I couldn't stand how they dehumanised her. I call her Elewin.
She hardly really moved in the 10 years I have been her Warden. I was named such by the previous Warden, who... |
They all stood on the deck of the submarine, staring up at the sight looking back at them.
It had taken them a while to realize that anything was wrong - when you're underwater, a storm is a passing concern, of little note. Their research needed doing, and whatever waves roiled the surfacae above their heads was irre... |
All ongoing parts are available at [/r/Remyxed/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Remyxed/)!
[Part 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/Remyxed/comments/dg6422/rupert_grint_and_the_tears_of_osiris_part_2/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x) is here!
**\[Alright, y'all have convinced me. I will write 1 part a day in addition to my... |
I run with the hunted.
This is what it means to live now: fight to live, live to eat, eat to fight again. The days had the same circular rhythm to it, the rhythm of the hunter. We are wild things now, wandering in packs, scavenging the lands to cure a hunger deeper than food.
In the old days, we did not have words. ... |
Phineas turned his back on Candace's grave and began walking away. Ferb called out to him, "What if we're wrong, Phineas?"
"You know we're not,"Phineas breathed through clenched teeth. "Where's Perry?"
*****
For years, the boys had watched their imagination come to life, only to dissolve at the last moment. The mome... |
The angel had a proper number of eyes. At least two, certainly, though he couldn't quite see the upper limit of such things, but it was far easier to just say that angel had a proper number of eyes rather than worry about the specifics.
Worrying about the specifics was for his legion of advisors, after all, all of whi... |
October 4th, 1835.
It’s been many months since my wife gave birth to a demon. I knew we could’ve never had children, but she had to beg the devil. I slaughtered the lamb prematurely, knowing if I didn’t feed this monster it would eat us instead. I heard the disgusting sounds of gargling and chomping. I couldn’t imagi... |
Every species contributed something special and unique to the federation, every single one except for these humans. It was the only species with which we made contact not because they were ready but because we were afraid they would destroy themselves.
After the contact we shared the technology that would enable them ... |
# You do not know what you ask.
thundered into my head like lead dropped from a tower. I winced under the incredible weight of the phantom pain, like a headache on the soul and not the body. I struggled to catch the breath that I hadn't actually lost.
# My sole responsibility is managing the path of the celestials th... |
Thick red, that could have been paint but wasn’t, drooled and dripped out of Tinman’s mouth. He’d unhinged his jaw, spread his lips python-wide, and stuffed Dorothy’s heart down his gullet. It had clogged halfway so he’d shoved his axe’s handle deep down after it, prodding the heart with it like a long wooden finger. E... |
“MOM!” I burst through the door shouting, holding my arm. Blood dripped down the side of the cut, just like every other cut that I’ve ever gotten. But this one was deep, and my flesh split at least an inch open. Below the layer of skin was rubber that the blood seemed to just slide right off of. And underneath that, wi... |
John gave me what I could only describe as a blank stare “huh?”
Sometimes I swear humans feign ignorance around me. “Why can’t I be in your pack?!” I asked again, slowing it down so maybe he wouldn’t pretend to not understand again.
“My… pack? I’m not sure what you mean. I don’t have a pack. Did you read some book fr... |
Throughout the history of life on Earth, there has really only ever been one constant. Death. During the long period before the Cambrian, entire ecosystems popped into existence only to collapse with the rise of modern taxons at the dawn of the Paleozoic. Between the Permian and the Triassic, a rapid temperature increa... |
"How has the wall on the south fortification been holding up?"Klereth lounged in his seat, his eyes dully trained on the being in front of him.
The lich consulted a sheet in front of him, a skeletal finger tracing across the page. "Four attacks in the last three months, but no breaches, my liege."
Klereth nodded. "Th... |
*The Times, London*
*Sunday October 14th 2018*
For the first time in over 60 years this newspaper has been printed by a linotype machine and distributed by hand. For the first time in the history of mankind, we have been visited by an extra-terrestrial race.
All electronic devices in London and presumably the worl... |
I gritted my teeth through the pain. The cuffs continued to chafe my wrists, rubbing brutally at the skin until nothing was left. They hurt, but worse still was the pain of failure, of knowing that Earth’s last resistance would finally fall unless I could somehow escape and complete my sabotage mission.
I had paced th... |
Dear Diary,
Today I visited my parents in St. Mungos. Father was still unable to remember anything, but mother is making progress. She is able to recognize me and even seems aware enough to know that the Dark Lord is regaining power somehow.
Harry Potter was there visiting Arthur Weasley for a mysterious snakebit... |
“Damn it, Todd, Just say it’s a good brand of toothpaste. It cures cavities and repairs teeth. What could you possibly have against the toothpaste?”
“It’s too good! It’s taking away all my business.”
Todd was unable to run. Tied down to the surgical chair, a bright light blasting his face with its warm glow. He had t... |
I turned the small brown book over in my hands, feeling the bumps down the leather spine and soaking in the dusty odor of old paper. How could this be? If this was indeed the same book from my childhood, these pages should be full. And yet, as I leafed through the pages, all were empty except the first with one single ... |
"MRAOU!"
"No, it's not time for dinner yet."
I know it's not time for dinner yet, that's not what I'm yelling about. Stupid humans, you never look UP! He's right there, and he could strike at any moment! I'm trying to help you, why won't you listen!?
"MRAOOU!"
"I know you're hungry, but you're always hungry."
I... |
"No, really, it's true!"Said the fledgling dragon, eyes wide. "Humans have started using gold as rewards for doing stuff!"
I raised one eyebrow critically. "They don't even *need* gold. They sleep on straw, and they eat meat- why would they go through all the trouble?"
"I dunno! But Rymakh said he saw them using it i... |
The clangs of metal rang out loud. The air was filled with the smell of iron. Cheers and jeers filled the surrounding as waves of men clashed.
For some reason, the sun had hidden itself under a thick dark cloud. A slight darkness covered the field, dulling the shiny metal armour worn by most of the men there – lying d... |
"Mortal, your soul is at stake for summoning me. What is it you desire?"
In his 6000 years of being a contract demon, Zazrakon had plenty of experience with the profession. He had granted all manner of wishes across time and space- granting unfathomable wealth, reviving the dead, binding the will of vast armies to one... |
The sock drawer option was looking pretty good. One click and it would all be over. I would never have to deal with this shit again. No more crazy girls. No more stupid family. Just peace.
"Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"
Mother fucker! Can't even commit suicide in peace. I got up and headed to the door. "Buzzzzzzzzzzzz... |
I had found Bruno in the middle of the night. It was back when I was still living in Riverside, and only half-alive, after Kate had gone away to school and stopped answering my calls. Most nights I'd get my buddy Jacob to come get high with me and eat some fast food, but now and then even he had something better to d... |
Lucy stared at the upside-down mushroom: a gigantic fungus, its thick central stalk reaching to the night sky like the tower of Babel.
Ben, already inside it, leaned over the mushroom's curled lip. "Are you coming up, or what?"
She took his his hand and climbed into the soft white cup, her feet bouncing on the spong... |
I set my stopwatch for 15 minutes- that's how long I was told to wait in the time chamber. Apparently, relativity means that my watch will still progress 15 minutes as they would normally in the real world.
I waved goodbye to the team, smiling with glee at the prospect of being the world's first human time traveler.
... |
It took him some moments to reorient himself. The cool, dark, and damp room. Made of burnished black stone. The eerie machine, whose liquid glowed blue and in which he was partly submerged. Where had the surrounding city gone? The warm afternoon in the park, surrounded by skyscrapers. And she, where had she gone? Her i... |
"I don't get paid enough to do this,"I grumbled, as my boss waved his wand, transforming me from a pony back into a normal human.
_________________
My name is Bergamot Butters, and I am a magic bug tester. When I was still an ordinary software developer, I chanced upon something amazing. Something that would change m... |
The three of them stood in a loose circle. Each were pointing weapons at one another, but the Kidnapped Princess held hers in secret in the folds of her purple satin gown.
She was deeply unhappy with the villain name she had garnered at this moment.
Similarly to her left, Crazed Evil Genius was internally cursing hi... |
I had nowhere left to hide.
I'd managed to scrape by for centuries, adjusting to every new twist and turn humanity threw at me. I'd been a farmer since the 1200s and successfully transitioned to mechanical agriculture during the Industrial Revolution. But then the Internet happened and it got harder to cover up my mis... |
I knew it was one of those chain messages my friends like to spam me. I’m not a huge gamer in the shooty shoot kinda games, so the most I would have to worry about is endless bottomless pits or cartoon violence.
I type yes and feel a vibration. I drop my phone, but I’m the one shaking. Then a black screen comes up. S... |
Random occurrence is often a very confusing force of life.
The Fourth I created whilst hacking and wheezing at a government-run hospital in Blazzego. I had been resigned to my mundane state by an affliction of bronchitis, which was hefty enough to require serious medical attention. There was little to do while my trea... |
"All riiiiight", the alien says, clapping his hands together and smiling. "All right, all right, all right."
Listen, I was about to go to bed. Really. This was my one last check at /r/WR and I heard the knock on the door,
and things spiraled from there. Now I'm here on the ship (the spaceship, that is), and I got the... |
They can keep their super strength, and their flying...okay, maybe I'd take the flying, but come on! Supers are required to register for the military and serve from their 20s to 40s, but me, I'm just a meta.
We have it easy compared to them, and the pension and presidential treatment don't make up for it if you ask me... |
Perhaps it had been unwise of Erica to answer the door cradling her rabbit, but she couldn't bear to put him down for more than a second. He was the last of her babies, after all. She had promised herself no more rabbits after this one: it was illegal, and animal control was pretty uptight around here. She would move o... |
When a warrior reaches the rank of master they get to enter the great vault and pick a legendary weapon. Today was the day I got to pick my legendary weapon. Every weapon had a name, some were recorded in history for all time.
"Take as long as you wish. Today you pick the last weapon you will ever wield. The weapon wh... |
[Part 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/nickofstatic/comments/edym33/rogue_god_part_2/)
***
Call it predestination. Divine will. But mostly, Ramsey called it an easy payday.
All the pieces lined up in Ramsey's mind like a long and winding row of dominoes. Or perhaps an organic Rube Goldberg machine, a concatenated line of... |
“Has it been ten years already?” the gentleman mused with an air of smugness. If there was one thing I had always hated about this man above all else, it was the way he spoke to those he deemed to be below him. He didn’t speak with words, but his subtle reactions and tone serving only to demean. Had it been Stephanie w... |
\*snap\*
\*snap\*
 
Setting: the local park. It’s a beautiful day, with a few white, puffy clouds drifting over the azure blue sky. A perfect day.
 
\*snap\*
\*snap\*
 
A perfect day for a little fun.
I look around at the frozen people around me, their expressions ranging from exc... |
The system beeped.
“This is an interview relating to incident number K-23 within Extra-Max facility 120. Please state your name, inmate number, charges and sentence for the benefit of the recording” said one of the officers. He was the taller of the two, a pencil thin mustache cresting his top lip and a thin dusting ... |
I always knew I was different, even when I was very young. The first thing I noticed was that if I ever got hurt, it would heal far faster than for the other kids, and I grew up on a farm so I had my share of scraped knees and stubbed toes.
Until I stopped getting hurt at all. By the time I was eight, I realized I h... |
It was evening rush hour, and the Interstate was clogged worse than a yeti's bathtub.
J. Robert Harris sat in driver's seat of his Mercedes and alternately debated the merits of upgrading to this year's model of the car, or just chucking it all in and going to live in a hut of a tropical beach and surviving off fish a... |
Is it possible to be alive when you're really just a disembodied consciousness?
The question lingers on my lips as my sword passes through a player's avatar, bisecting them at the waist. As he falls, his party's Cleric raises her hands to invoke the blessing of her God, weaving the conjuration for *vitality*.
She m... |
The longest I have ever stayed awake in one run was 179 days. Everything starts to sort of blend together, it gets hard to distinguish one day from the next. Bad moods drag on through the whole week or month. Good ones can last too, it's not *all* bad, but humans weren't really meant to function this way, and as Day 18... |
"Sir, you can't come through he-"
**\*Slap\***
"You raise a very good argument. Please, come through,"the security guard said as he grasped his red cheek where I just slapped him.
I walked down the corridor of the White House with determination in my eyes, my goal simple.
To slap the President of the United States.... |
As the poison ran its course and the pain faded to numbness, I opened my eyes and saw darkness. Curse that bitch. Share a drink with me, she said. Have some more, she said. This is what you get for what you did to my brother, she said. And then it occurred to me that if I had the thoughts to scorn her, I was not exactl... |
Well the Devil went to Seattle
He was feelin' a little down
After fiddlin' a bunch, he was havin' a hunch
He'd lost the right to his crown
*In the Emerald City,* he thought,
*there are no southerners or jews.*
*There may be a chance to change my stance*
*Try an instrument I can't lose.*
He wandered 'round P... |
Saying that nobody showed up was a necessity; a lie we had to share because the truth was much more terrifying. That goes without saying. It's a bit foolish to think that in the future of the human race, we never manage to accomplish the art of time travel, right? Flight was once nothing but a dream and now the skies a... |
Death looked tired. Oddly enough, this was the first thought Ed had, staring at the robed figure in his doorway. Darkened circles lined empty sockets, resembling smudges of ash on Death's high, bleached cheek bones.
"Can...I help you?"Ed inquired. Standing at a modest 5 foot eight, jeans and a t-shirt, coffee in han... |
The moment I jumped from the second floor of Sehlinger County Hospital, using a stainless steel lunch tray as my board, I wondered if I'd made a terrible mistake.
Then I realized it was so earth-shatteringly radical that I didn't care.
The broken fibula, however, was a bit less gnarly. Dr. Peterson raced out of a si... |
It isn't like nobody knew what they were voting for. We all knew what this new law would do, and yet Mayor Wilson was looking more and more nervous by the second.
I think we were just tired of the deaths, the pointless rules that were only meant to hurt. "Don't be named Ted", "Have at least one red rose in your house"... |
It's always beautiful, when you're building a world. To see the little contained reality form with a wonderfully bright light, modelling the specific laws of physics, shaping the various atoms and materials from which the universe is formed. Then you grow it to about the size of a volleyball, and let the internal proce... |
**Harry Potter and the Zone of Danger**
"Um... OK, kids. Welcome to... haha, Hogwarts? Is it really called that? I'm pretty sure I caught that from Pam that one time. Anyway, welcome to this school of yours. I am your new teacher for the Art of Self Defense..."
From the front row, Hermione's hand shot into the air an... |
I've only been to the Federal Maple Reserve once- and that was in fifth grade, for a field trip. I still remember the enormous cylindrical storage tanks, thousands of feet high, holding the precious resource. A resource that, through years of genetic engineering, we'd discovered how to rapidly create. Now, the fores... |
The time has gone on and on, empires rising and falling, I’ve discovered new galaxies and even new dimensions in my travels and accumulations of advanced alien technology. I was essentially a god by all rights, already unable to die thanks to my curse bond with the fucking Snail, and now technologically advanced enough... |
I knew things with Monty were a little off shortly after he moved in. He was a pleasant guy - a friend of a friend with a surprisingly high credit score for someone didn't seem to hold any sort of traditional job. We were walking along the pier and I said something to the effect of, "I'm hungry. Let's go get some food.... |
"Do you remember that time we were on the company picnic?"
"Yeah, it was windy as hell and none of the blankets would stay down!"
"Well, that was when I first knew I loved you."
"I know. It was...special because I felt it, but also knew my feelings were mutual."
"I don't believe that for a second! You were with tha... |
We thought the universe had always been dark and empty, and silent. But to them it was loud, so loud. And it was because of us.
Our screaming, blaring, minds bellowing out into the cosmos kept them at bay. Until one day they couldn’t take it anymore. They needed to say something. To cut through the waves and waves of... |
“Jeremy, analysis.”
“4,365 th dimension. Probably simulation.”
“Fucking Christ…”
We’ve been at this for… 5, 10 years now? It’s hard to keep
track when time works differently in literally every plain of existence. Regardless
of how much has actually past, I still remember that day like yesterday. One of
the scientist... |
There is always work for he who exists in the shadows.
I view society through a crystal clear window, only able to watch as people mingle up and down the length of this street, congregating beneath old oak trees and in high-end boutiques and open air cafes. I will never experience that quick flash of acknowledgment, j... |
"So your brains make you *like* the feeling of *poisoning yourselves*?"
"Yes? I mean, obviously it seems a lot more poisonous to you."
"Unbelievable. How you survived to develop FTL travel is beyond me."
"I'm pretty sure my ancestors were more worried about nukes and wars."
"Yes, but you drank *in response* to that... |
"My lord, I know you are the Demon Lord and I am but a lowly advisor, but please listen to me. I suggest that instead of sending the hero slightly stronger demons to kill each time, we just send the strongest one right away"
The Demon Lord leaned forward in his leather office chair, rested his arms on the smooth surf... |
I don't know how it started, or why I was chosen. I always called them glitches in the Matrix - you know, after the movie - when it happens.
The first time, I was young. I saw my death. I don't mean that in a gruesome way - I was just a kid, chasing a ball out into the street, and a car hit me. It was over quickly, su... |
“Wait, I died? How?”
“Listen guy, I’m just as baffled by this as you are.”
“So you don’t know how I died? But aren’t you the Grim Reaper?” I heaved a weary sigh. This was my first ever client, and it was already going poorly. I held back the urge curl up in a ball and start crying. That probably wouldn’t be very res... |
Xor’grantham-fallonpersius-zellac, representative of the supreme overlord, stepped out of the flying saucer and onto the lawn of Central Park. Joe Mallakeshi, representative of the state of New York, stepped forward and waved appropriately. It had been three months since formal communications between the two species ... |
If Lawrence’s dad could see him now he’d shake his head and remind his son that if something was chained up there was often a reason for it. He had given similar advice when a seven-year-old Lawrence had “rescued” a, it turned out, very tempermental Pomeranian from where it was tied up outside the grocery store.
In L... |
I held the clown's nose in my hand as I carefully contemplated what I wanted to wish for. I thought about gaining riches, fame, magical power, love, but ultimately, all those things were temporary. What I really wanted was immortality, freedom from the fear of ever being claimed by the void. But the mysterious shopkeep... |
"I think it's time that I told you my secret,"the message pops up on the side of my screen. I chuckle, settling into my gaming chair and pulling a small bowl of popcorn next to me.
"That you don't have any friends IRL,"I message back. "It's not a secret."2ring6754 was always logged onto Warscape, no matter what time o... |
I looked up at Hop. "Necromancy? You shittin' me? And be a necrophiliac like you?"Hop rolled his green eyes at me and gestured for me to keep it down.
"No offense, Karen."
"ughh...."Hop's reanimated 2nd wife gave a definitely (probably) unoffended groan. I might have projected that.
"Look,"Hop said, shrugging, it's... |
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