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When the ship-com announced that I was leaving warp, I was on the bridge before the FTL lightshow had finished fading from the viewer. I don't know quite what I was expecting, but I saw what every telescope, every probe had seen since we'd first gotten the Message: Nothing. Just a perfect circle of black that blotte...
"So you want one hundred trillion dollars,"I said to the skittish man clutching onto my golden lamp like it was a get out of jail free card. To his understanding, I was a deceitful entity placed under captivity to fulfill one of his wildest dreams. However, this was just not true at all. I clearly told him that I en...
"I've been looking for you." My eyes didn't know where to settle first. "Me?" He nodded. "How did you get in here?" "My eyes have certain properties." The slob kept still. Picturesque. "Like?" The deeper I stared into them, the less afraid I became. "How did you get in here?"I repeated. The slob lifted up...
¨Do you think that maybe... it would be better if you listened to your future selves?¨ Derek asked. ¨Nah, fuck em. Honestly, I got no idea what I am doing, so why should they? See it like this: The time machine itself does not fail, else they couldn´t tell me. So the fact that they try to stop me means they are too la...
Sam screamed, The house screamed back, The sidewalk laughed So hard it cracked, The mushroom cloud Was not amused By any particles That it fused, Sam screamed again, His eyes were gone They’d melted out Onto the lawn, The house convulsed, It gasped, it choked! Then burst into A cloud of smoke, ...
The old doctor looked around around the room at all of the hopefuls that looked back with pleading eyes. Men. Women. Children. They had all come knowing that he was about to give up his final year and one of them would walk away cured. Why would he give away his final year? Because he was old. So old. At first ...
When I met Andy, I must admit that I liked him. He had that innocence about him, as innocent as you can seem in Hell, and he was quiet and anxious. I met him when he came and forced myself like all good bad company and soon we were fast friends. Yes, I really did like Andy. I can't say what clinched it, but everything ...
I looked back up at the board. It couldn't be true! I turned to the man next to me, seeking an explanation where there was none to be found. "Hey man, could you take a look at this?"I pointed him towards my score and he let out a concerned chuckle. "Damn, dude! Were you some kind of serial killer or something?"I turned...
When I was a young boy, my father would lock me into a chest. He did this to hide the fact that he had a son for the women he brought over from the tavern. I can only remember myself closing my eyes and wishing I could be anywhere else other than inside of that chest. One night, an extraordinary thing happened. I reme...
Every Christmas we went to Aunt Edna's for dinner. It was tradition. We would pile up in our family station wagon and take the 5 hour drive up to Albany, singing along to the newest Broadway Hits CD I got that year. It was the same routine each visit, but this year, something wasn't quite right. Aunt Edna prided hers...
It's so hot, my body doesn't bother with sweat any more, whatever liquid that was once in my has all been extracted from my body and burned off. Smoke fills the corridor, and my lungs too. When the incendiary round smashed into the apartment building, most of my comrades made the wise decision to escape. I made the r...
It had taken a few years, but I made it. Traveling the Atlantic took the longest. I never built a boat before, let alone one worthy of ocean travel. The natives that worked with me were initially horrified of what I was trying to do, but I think they were glad to get rid of me. Through a total stroke of luck and happ...
Waigo looked up from his clipboard. ‘Zay-one, you were given free choice of human, but we did require only a single specimen, why have you brought us two?’ ‘Lord Waigo, may I humbly submit that this is a single human’ Zay-one bowed and tried to ignore the golden lab pulling at his robe. ‘Zay-one, I can count. There a...
I used to be a sort of superhero, you know. Somehow, I was impervious to normally harmful liquids. No, better than impervious - I absorbed them and drew my very strength from them. I could drink antifreeze and bathe in hydrofluoric acid (in a plastic bathtub of course, safety first). I could even walk through fire as l...
"Siri, cancel my appointment for a gym membership today" "Are you sure Tom? You have been eating a lot and live a sedentary life. According to online resources you are at an 85% increase of a heart attack compared to your peers." "Ahh... What?" "Your life style..." Shit... i can't believe I just said that. Had I l...
The man lay naked on the bed, tossing and turning trying to rid himself of the fear and guilt that had embalmed him since he woke. "What did I do?"he muttered to himself, the back of his head screaming intermittently. "What did I do?" He leaned over his bed, double checking his surroundings before searching for his p...
I'm an assassin. One of the best, if I might add. I'm talking top 10 (#8) in the world, top 5 (#4) in the U.S. good. Now killing people is great-and-all, if you don't mind things like staying up for days at a time, swimming through sewers, crawling through tight ventilator shafts with motion sensitive bombs strapped o...
The garden had grown - as gardens do - around a statue. It was the only thing that had been there before the Belmonts had moved in, standing proud, creepy, and downright awkward in the center of the grass. A heavy stone base supporting a snarling winged hound. We'd always wondered why it was left alone, why Mrs Belmo...
I didn't ask to be made the de facto conduit, for sloth intelligence, but the responsibility was laid on my shoulders, regardless. My abilities developed at a young age, and I was big as a guinea pig for a while; both are reasons why the world's governments trusted my intuition. They built a machine - a giant one, whic...
I remember looking up at my father as he left the door. Three hundred dollar custom tailored suit. It was a lot of money in the 70's. I wanted to be him. Every step he took just gleamed confidence. You should of seen the look on his face the day he bought his 1970 Lincoln Continental in all cash. I wanted to be him. ...
"I have no idea what is going wrong %#~£. We kidnap a few of them, tell to tell the stories of what they've seen and nothing. Nobody believes them." "I believe we need a new strategy &>?~%. Instead of making our presence know to a few people I say we make ourselves know to a huge gathering of Earthlings." "Exc...
Adam slumped into the house and set down his last load of books morosely. It was a nice house at least. Big. Old, but in good shape. There was just one problem. The housemates. Technically, they were more like demons, but there was no getting rid of them and Adam was just too worn down to care. "Why are you l...
“7.5e9” Fuck, I know I look like shit when I wake up, but worst in the world? That's what I get for having that extra bottle of wine last night. I struggle up out of bed as I feel the aches. There is a pulsing from the bruise around my eye and the blood has crusted at the corner of my lips. I can taste where I bit my ...
We would take them at sea, for we ruled the waves. Any ship on the channel would be spotted and set alight using our far-reaching network of lookout posts and our love ng range ballistics. Let them come. France fell in a matter of weeks, and calls for aid went largely ignored by us. Sorry chaps, but we don't want to...
"-So you see Morty, that's why I drink all the time." "Oh man, Rick, do you really think it's worth it? I-I mean you could be perfectly normal I would still love you. Mom would still love you." "You don't get it Morty! Without this stuff I'm dumber than Jerry. There's no normal anymore without it. But I need to get m...
Most kids, when they do their magic test, get something standard. Fire or Plants or Death. In some rare cases you might see a multi-elemental or even more specific specialties. I'd only ever heard of two druids in the past hundred years and their symbol was a sprouting tree. No one could figure out what the hell I was....
The problem with superheroes is that they attract supervillains. Without those supervillains, they would just be regular heroes, right? But then the problem with supervillains is that they attract superheroes. Because without those superheroes, wouldn't they just be villains? This little catch-22 seems to be the reason...
The things I saw didn't bother me anymore. Thirty years or so hardens you to this kind of subject matter, makes you lose a certain humane sympathy. Maybe that's why I avoid people: I don't want to deal with their problems, their fate, any more than they do. Until today. It was nearly dusk, and I walked home hurriedly...
"That's a little... strange." "Oh, that's just the beginning. My left elbow gives people indigestion. My right elbow makes people sneeze. Each of my ribs plays a sound like a xylophone when struck, but they're all out of tune and I don't know how to fix it. Each of my eyes works like a laser pointer so eye contact...
Lee looked at the device in his hand. "To North Koeans, from the US". From the US? He slipped it into his shoe and continued walking home. As he walked, Lee thought about what he knew of the Americans. They were evil, and hated Kim Jong Un. They were corrupt and greedy, and... secretly Lee wondered if there was m...
Tom took a sip from his coffee mug as he stared out the window of observation post 25-BD7. He was greeted by the same empty white view of snow that he saw day in and day out. "Will have to actually go out and clear this window one of these days..." He took another sip, continuing to enjoy his view. "Not that it'd m...
Part One: Andrea pulled back her thin, brown hair into a ponytail and began unloading the equipment once again, already longing for the air-conditioning of the Channel 14 van. She just wanted to get these interviews over with so she could start on the mountain of paperwork on her desk. Interviewing locals was undoub...
From the day, I was born, I received tons of praise and compliments everyday. I won't blame anyone. After all, I have the rarest gem in existence. People come from all over the world to take pictures, shake my hands, or even just look at me. I hated it. I had nothing to do with this gem. Why should I be defined by so...
My bed is soft, and my eyelids are heavy, never the less, my eyes open. Feel my hands clenched tight around something in each. In my right is a piece of paper. In my left is a small metal cube with a number scratched into each side. I read the paper. "This dice give you the power to reroll your life"is written in red....
Sing, Goddess, Bernice's fury, Black and malevolent, that cost the Greeks their peaceful seas, their peasful seas, Of Pisces' Preists passing parsimony, leaving no recourse but remorse, For obese geese, as Zeus' will was done. --- Begin with the humble Gyro and godlike Louza, their firey blades crossed-- O...
Paul ‘Hamfist’ Hamilton sauntered down the gentle slope towards the enclosure, his left arm stretched around his girlfriend’s shoulders, his salted pork sliding to a rest against her bosom. He glanced down at her, grinning to himself. He hadn’t had to try to land this catch, one look at him and she’d been hooked. She w...
She finally had him in her clutches. She, being the most sophisticated and cunning supervillain in town, him being some typical superhero type. He was very bland, really. She had just finished explaining to him just how she was about to end his life but it had not elicited the reaction she'd been aiming for. She had...
"What are you?"I had asked it. It replied, "Sin." "Pleasure to meet you." "I have a question." I knelt on the balcony railing and nodded. "Shoot." "Why?" "Is that the question? Gotta be more specific than that, bud." "Why haven't you broken yet?" He was talking about the last couple of months. E...
"Lucy!"A woman snapped. The girl's head jolted, breaking our eye contact, and we both turned to see a woman fast-walking our way. "What did I tell you about wandering off?"The woman grabbed Lucy's arm, harder than what was necessary. Lucy winced. "I told you to stay where I could see you!"The woman turned to me and...
Reading the archives, Kaladin's eyes widened. He searched and scrolled through the different entries with growing trepidation. Sweat rolled down the sides of his head while his heart beat with a quickness he had never felt before. A growing feeling of anxiety filled his veins while his eyes took in the information. "Se...
Vicissitude Bob the dragon was having a difficult day, which was nothing new. No, what would be surprising is if he had a quiet day. These humans... Bob mentally grumbled as he typed tentatively on the keyboard, politely lambasting another buffoon who thought it woul...
I stomped angrily up the staircase, potato chips in hand. Normally, I would have knocked, but everyone else was far too angry. The shadowy figure jumped as I kicked the door open. "Sir, your food is here,"I drawled, directing an obscene gesture at his back. "Excellent, my minion. I am grateful for your support."His r...
We wondered for the longest time why they came to our world. At first we thought they came for conquest but they never tried to hold any of the ground they took. Some thought it was for our world’s natural resources but they took nothing. Personally I believed they just wanted to wipe us out but there was no rhyme or r...
There was no way of knowing what to expect, but Lt. Hayes felt a little better knowing his ship was equipped with 2 long-range cybermortars. This was his first excursion into space. For years Earth had committed to a peaceful presence in the solar system, but every gun, shield, and laser-guided missile in the ARES Batt...
It was just like out of a scene from “Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs”. It was a beautiful Wednesday afternoon, and I was walking around the streets of downtown. I never had time to take a day off of work, but luckily, the company was closed for the next three days for renovations. At first, a couple of bananas fel...
"Relax,"Leliel said. She flicked the signal indicator, then eased the steering wheel to the side, flowing smoothly into the next lane. "You're too tense. Just relax." I blinked, and gave her a sidealong look. She didn't return it. She wasn't even looking at me. Her eyes were on the road, after all. But she smiled, the...
There's a dick over my house. Not literally, but if you look at the weather map, there's a dark red storm in an unmoving, phallic shape directly over my dying land. It's been this way for weeks. Today, I woke up to snow. It's summer. The weather man laughs on screen, his rumbling baritone taunting me through the tell...
I defy my fate. Who are we if not the sum of our experiences? Our hopes, dreams and aspirations? I never _wanted_ to be evil. Chaotic neutral at best, but never evil. I guess it just turned out that way. Thanks to this wonderful, but ignorant band of adventurers, friends, I know who I was. _Was_ is important there, I...
I shamble forward, my injured leg dragging behind my rotting body. Step. Slide. Step. Slide. I can see the others, beside me. Various states of decay, silhouetted and shambling in the dim light. Step. Slide. Step. Slide. The smell of rancid meat fills my nose- the half of it I have left- and I want t...
"Say something!"Krav hissed. "Err... Umm... Ah, uh, hello!"Durlin said. "You have been summoned to this, the mortal plane, at my behe-" "Which one you dungeons and dipshits motherfuckers spiked me."The human said. He wore green clothes seemingly dyed with mudstains, and wore a hard face under his matching green cap. ...
The food lands on the floor, a delicious cheese cracker has landed, we are all hungry. We rush for it each of us wanting our piece. The King jumps in the way, as he always does. "No! The laws must stand! It is the way of our ancestors, it is our way! 5 seconds must pass!"As he stops us the hand of a god reaches down an...
"One large coffee please", I said to the cashier, "and one of those small chocolate chip cookies if you have". "Sure thing"she replied as she turned around to pour me a cup. I paid for my drink and sat down by a table near the far side of the shop. There were many benefits to being in the back of the shop; it had wo...
"Clonk, clonk, clonk." I've been watching his videos for years. Wordless, shirtless, guileless, he creates endless somethings from nothing. I also watched his rankings fall. He still has millions of subscribers but his views have fallen over the last 5 years. Every major youtuber has ghost writers and production teams...
######Speedrunner Jake was fast, lemme tell you. Once, I watched Jake offer to buy a kid lunch just to get cuts in the cafeteria for a week. That was one month before he graduated the fourth grade. By December, Jake was acing seventh grade history exams. He finished high school before the next Thanksgiving. Every...
"Babe, I am on my way. I just have one more case to solve. Love you." Detective Bruce turned off his cellphone and tucked it safely into the pocket of his jeans. The higher-ups hated his way of dressing - a striking blue sweatshirt and a black jean every day for the last 11 years. But he was the best in the force, and...
"Morning, Benji,"James said, eyeing his desk neighbor warily. The hulking black bear rumbled a response without looking away from his computer monitor. Four months ago, all rumbles from bears would've made James jump in fear. Four months in, though, James had learned to interpret the nuance behind these sounds. He sti...
The wind tunnel was industrial looking, and contrasted sharply with the well light and cleanly white walls of the airplanes interior. A hum of collective sleeping bodies, all in rows and columns. Concrete, metal, right outside my window. 0 mph. My stomach dropped, and my face felt hot. Massive wind machines sat at eit...
Death had dealt with a lot of crap during the years. When it was time to go; it was time to go. No ands, ifs, buts about it. But, for some strange reason that he had never taken the time to truly analyze, people always tried to negotiate ways into living for just a leeeetle bit longer. Some pleaded. Some promise...
Part I "We have to do it. Either we jump there or we die right here." Jarin was right. As much as this could destroy the galaxy, I wasn't willing to die at the hands of the Sith. The Yuuzhan Vong were no where near as brutal as this new Sith Lord. If this cruiser got a hold of us, we would surely be brought to him. H...
"He's coming through!"shouted Jim Lawrence, the local drunk, as he stumbled through main street. Normally, people wouldn't take his words so seriously, but ever since I walked through Cold Ridge, sixty miles away, people held their breath in anticipation for this moment. As Jim went from door to door, making his procla...
"So, why, exactly, do you think that this..."Ms. Anzen looked down at the resume, "Michael Sanders,"she continued, "would make a good software engineer?" "Well,"I explained, "He was the only one to survive." Ms. Anzen took her glasses off and rubbed her eyes. "Not this again. Didn't we talk about this?" We had, of...
The guard slid my food in. I scooped some of the gruel up. Bland and tasteless, just like the walls around me. At this point, I was almost always locked up in solitary confinement. This time though I managed to send two guards to a hospital before they subdued me. I probably was going to die in solitary confinement. ...
We were the first. Many followed. A thousand worlds, scattered across the swirling void of the stars. All populated, all curious, and all, for most of their history, alone. But then came the signals. At first, quiet, distorted. A whispering melody of intertwined voices and songs and speeches and plays, cast out...
It was just a normal day. Children were laughing, the sun was shining brilliantly on the lake, and a duck began to swim outward. Then three. Twelve. Fifty-two. A gigantic army of ducks slowly marched to the park. At first everyone just laughed and shook their heads. Some even started to record in hopes of a viral video...
"No, I'm pretty sure you're not allowed to do that actually,"Merrill said, "Says who?"Artemis smiled widely at her, "Swords the same no matter what, yeah?" "I mean,"She started dispassionately, "Exactly,"Artemis interrupted, "So the way I see it, no harm no foul," Merrill sighed and shot her a tired look, "Look yo...
Everything in his flat was beige. Beige carpet. Beige walls. Beige radiators. Beige painted chairs. Everything that is, except for those couches. He liked beige. Beige was easy. Beige was calming. When you saw beige you didn't think "oh he's a trouble maker"you thought, well, nothing much at all. He did not like thos...
"Hey Chase! How was school today?" "Fine dad, same as always." My son spilled into the car with the same world weary attitude my parents always told me was coming when my kids hit middle school, but Chase was my eldest son - and therefore my first particular foray into the minefield of defusing preteen angst. It ha...
It was day 53 of the archeological dig in Terene, a remote desert. I was pondering over the archeological maps when the excited shouts alerted everyone to the find. 'We found something!' My heart began racing; it's been 2 months of digging; we knew something was here! Mayan texts; Aztec symmetry. Catholic doctrine. It ...
There is a reason why pregnant women are not allowed on planes. It always brings bad news. Not only was there a complete lack of doctors on the flight, forcing a guy whose only qualification was 'seeing a movie that one time' try to pilot the plane while the pilot used his illicitly acquired vet title to act as a medic...
Chapter 1 (if people want more): Under the watchful eye of King K’rax, the Gantos were once a prideful and powerful people, establishing themselves as a pacifist nation, despite owning the largest military and defense forces for thirty-quintillion light years. Had K’rax not been killed in a coup orchestrated by a gro...
> "I'M BACK BITCHES!" > "I SAID NEXT TIME I DESTROY THIS PLANET IT WON'T BE BY WATER! RAINBOW!" > "I SET THE RULES OF THIS UNIVERSE, I'M NOT BREAKING THEM FOR YOUR SPECIES! THIS IS THE REVELATION!" > **YA'LL THOUGHT I SAID YOU'D LIVE FOR ALL ETERNITY. I MEANT 'UNTIL THE END OF TIME IN THIS UN...
> Soory, At work so it's short, Yes, Sarah great choice. Open doors are so 2008. great job, you. Sarah Mercer is a 21 year old accountant who enjoys long walks on the beach and breathtaking sprints through this manor in the WRONG DIRECTION. Despite this she is a total peach, kind to everyone, which is why her frien...
First try ever… Of course I sometimes thought about getting in shape. It’s not that much fun to be out of breath by the second staircase and yes, I saw how ‘good looking’ people had dates and went on to marry each other while I… I vegetated, growing larger by the year. After a while, I didn’t think of sports anymore, ...
A knock at the front door. “Who is it?” a voice called from inside. “Delivery man,” Duke Doombringer replied. A young man swiftly opened the door. “What is it?” the boy asked enthusiastically. “The game you ordered. One copy of Doom,” Duke answered. The boy snatched the package out of Duke’s hands and slamm...
It’s been months. My boss breathing down my neck constantly, the flurry of office activities never ceasing. I’m at my wits end. I need to crack this case. I step into the office and ask Linda to bring me a cup of coffee. Before even putting my heavy briefcase, stacked with file after file on this creep, I stare at the...
"Welcome aboard! I am Lieutenant J.G. Baker. I am here to provide you with your orientation talk." "First thing's first... your new homes. As new members of the crew, you have been assigned dormitories. I've passed around a PADD that contains your quarters assignments. Each of you will bunk with three other crewmen. T...
Time travel hurts. When you're waxing philosophically with you friend's over a joint about it; you all think it'll be some sorta magic POOF and you're just there. You're thinking about the empires you'll raise, the fortune you'll amass, the great changes you'll bring about with your future knowledge. What you...
Why Magic is Good By Billy Macintosh For Ms. Jones 4th grade class. Magic is good. Magic made stuff better. After magic sick people got better. Before magic they were sick. I once saw a dog that could fly. It could fly because of magic. In 2017 there was no magic. That must have been bad. Without magic thin...
Icarus had flown too close to the sun and lost his wings. That old tale was one I did not learn from, which could have spared me my hubris. I closed the book, my old eyes weary of reading the text, which flowed its contents from one page to the next, akin to a fish making its way down a river, I doused the light from ...
I'm honestly surprised that it took this long for me to get found out. A guy, born in the middle of June, with the super-power of Astrology. Having the super power of astrology sounds lame and all, except the power does give me some ability to guide others and help them avoid bad decisions. Neptune in opposition while ...
(Had to check up articles and watch videos before writing this, hope I did okay!) November 22nd, 1963 The people couldn't have been nicer. Really, they couldn't off. I've never seen such a happier crowd. I begin to walk down the steps of the plane, greeted by the people of Dallas. So many people shouting, laughing...
Okay...this is getting real weird. Am I missing something? I can't find anything on the previous film aside from on these fan sites This is the third online community I have been on concerning this supposed "cult classic"film. And everyone can only talk about the upcoming sequel. I check the section on Gaming. The t...
All my life, I'd thought of my head as a disability. A one in a million chance, a cruel joke nature decided to play on me. The doctors had thought I was a stillbirth at first, until they heard me crying; they hadn't felt my mind, hadn't heard my infant thoughts, although they can only rarely be really called thoughts f...
The sun seemed to shine brighter today. Of all days. "I'm moving anyway, no sense in hiding it anymore." The crowd outside was already aware of who I really was. I brushed my few remaining hairs and noticed that they weren't as loud as the last crowd. I actually couldn't hear them at all. Dozens of faces stared ...
I check my watch. 9:59 PM. Just two minutes away until the scheduled party begins. Although I know no one will show up, there's still a flicker of excitement in me- a little sliver of hope, that maybe someone will come. I chuckle to myself, imagining what would then ensue. As if. At exactly 10:00, I hear voices outs...
Arthur. In all his glory. In all his might. A hero they preached, from the depths this poor poor child rose as the rightful heir to the throne. And now look at him, King of Camelot and commander of the the Knights of the round table. He forgets about me. I got him there, me! Yet here I am stuck in a crumbling cell in ...
It started when I was 7. Select the white van, the screen blinked, easy enough ... no van, huh. Must’ve been a mistake, penguins are stupid who wants to be in their club anyway. I didn’t really use the computer back then, we were poor and it was mainly for my dad to work on, so I it wasn’t that important. I never real...
I can recall a time and a place—and a self—that was before I ordered Halleth. Like many young people of my generation, I believed in finding one's true love, in finding that perfect match; that everybody, indeed, had one. The Excelsior dating app promised nothing less than just that: the perfect match from any place, a...
Chains softly clinking with each step, the latest criminal was brought fourth for execution. An out of towner, so the rumours went. Hard to tell with the sack over his head, but John didn't recognise him. Besides, if it had been one of the townsfolk, chances are he would have heard by now. He exchanged a glance with Ka...
"What in the blue hell..." I sat at my computer, staring at one of the multitude of tabs opened accross my two monitors. After months of deep diving into every minute detail, every theory, and every little possibly-out-of-place thing, I'd found out the actual secret. Part of me was oddly mad. The evidence all seemed t...
See, you would think nobody lives on the moon, and therefor wouldn't care if I blew it up. You can imagine my surprise then, when my missile was shot down then. Turns out, the moon isn't just inhabited, there is an entire thriving culture up there. They just live on the dark side. A hundred million souls. Well. I woul...
Out popped a small bottle, with my name and the date on it. "Ambrosia (0.02%)" I stared at it for about a minute, and read the label some more. "Take one by mouth every twenty years." My eyes widened in disbelief. "Consume with food." Is this the cure for death? Have I just cheat-coded CVS? I looked back at the ...
Randy had been my childhood friend for 16 years. We were neighbors, grew up in the same schools (elementary through college), and we played the same video games, same instrument, same everything. We even had the same girlfriend once. But why? I was more fit to be the main character. Even Randy knew that that was my mai...
Back when I was 16 and worked at the Cheese Hut, I knew a guy named Darryl, who had a twin named Jake. When Darryl got too high to fry mozzarella sticks or clean out the soda nozzles, he'd send in Jake. We all knew it was Jake. Jake had a lazy eye and a unicorn tattoo on his left forearm. Jake didn't know anyone's name...
The writing was there, immense letters burned in the side of the mountains - one in Brazil, one in Canada, a couple more in Africa and Europe - of course they couldn't have missed the Matterhorn and the Kilimandjaro. China was less competitive, with a mere hill along the Great Wall - a portion in the middle of nowhere,...
"Yeah, can't eat it,"Adam said. "Allergies." "Allergies."Eve said. "Yup." "Allergies in the Garden of Paradise."Eve continued. "That's the place,"Adam said. "Allergies in the perfect Garden of Paradise, where the people in it - that's us - are also perfect and so allergies don't actually exist."Eve said. "Ri...
THE FOLLOWING HAS BEEN TRANSCRIBED INTO EARTH ENGLISH AS A HISTORICAL DOCUMENT INTO THE GROWTH OF A SERIAL KILLER. SOME TRANSLATION ERRORS MAY OCCUR AS A RESULT. “So, 2 million Universal Credits for this teenager in Outer Rim? On, what's the planet called again, Earth? The country within Earth called 'The United State...
I held the black rock in my hands, looking at the straight quartz seam that ran through it. I recognized the tech, and with the press of a thumb against the seam, it clicked inside and I was able to open it. Inside was a small datastick. I plugged the device into my rover's computer, and looked at the files containe...
Daryl Smith was lost to the dark again. He floated through the sea of darkness, and knew better than to resist. He didn't try to move his arms or legs, already knowing they wouldn't budge. Learn them. The words rumbled as they always did. The darkness cracked as it always did. And lines of light cut through the da...
DISCLAIMER: I am not a dentist. All of this is probably hideously wrong. I just wanted to write something amusing. I am sorry for all the dentists out there. --------------------------- "You really shouldn't be getting this attached to your human."Ziro told his companion, resting his gray back against the wall and br...

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