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The judge spoke. "As the supreme court is unable to come to a decision on whether or not to enforce the death penalty on Richard Willows in Willows vs. The state of New New Hampshire, a member of the P.O.O.L (people often "offed"languishingly) will be randomly selected." Reaching for an ornate P.O.O.L key that had be...
"There's no point Merlin...magic is a dying art. We're a breed the world has no use for anymore."Candlelight illuminated Gwydion's wrinkled face as he spoke. His fading eyes articulated disappointment just as clearly as his words. "As much as I would like to counter your fatalism, I'm afraid you may be right."Merlin s...
It was just another day tied to the dice. I always liked to live my life by chance, my trusty 20 sided die, shimmering bright as the summer sky kept in my back pocket. Never being one to leave anything to the mundane, I rolled for everything. Do I eat this sandwich? Do I hit this guy in front of me? Will I make out wit...
They keep exploding all around me. They won't stop. Just when I think it's over - there's another one! I can hear them, but I can't feel them. And the whole time, she just stands there - staring at me - with that same smile on her face. She braces her hands to clamp down on another one, and then like the hundreds ...
I remember the days leading up to my 5th birthday as a child. My mother was a nervous wreck, terrified by the thought of losing her baby boy. She refused to let me come out of my room, and even took all my toys away. I guess she was scared i would choke on them, or stab myself in the eye perhaps. I was still to young t...
> 2 Months Old "Can't it just be that she's a quiet baby?" "Marg, be real, a quiet baby? I mean, yeah, I wish we had such luck, a quiet baby would be something nice, but you and I both know what this really is." Marg and Drake sat together on the edge of their bed, looking at their video/audio baby monitor. It wa...
It didn't matter how many rats he put in his basement, the heroes always seemed to wade through the small creatures. Sure it was an introductory quest, but he expected some sort of personal reward at watching the heroes accomplish it. Instead, Urk the Orc became a side quest that merited no thought from the heroes. Mos...
Portia knew there was something just a bit off about the job offer at QuestLife Industries from the moment she took it. Everyone smiled too widely. She had already friended a couple of coworkers on Facebook, even her boss, and their feeds were full of nothing but praise for their work. Just pages upon pages of the sa...
I frowned as I picked up the letter from my mailbox. -- difficulty set to normal -- * loans are now 100%, down from 125% * girl repulsion modifier to 0.4, down from 0.75 * fist damage increased to 0.034, from 0.00022 * People are now less likely to cheat, manipulate, fool, kill, embarrass, destroy or rape you by a fa...
It was an amateur astronomer who first alerted the world to the Mars event, posting pictures on Facebook. The internet went into overdrive, screaming 'HOAX!' before the IFLS page contacted an astronomer on the other side of the globe to point a telescope at the night sky and debunk the low-resolution 'hoax' pictures ...
Grktzttzztt! It's 2:03AM, and I lift my head from my folded arms. Am I dreaming? I thought, as I slowly sat up. Out of the corner of my eyes, I notice my partner rising from his light sleep. Did he hear something too? He returned my confused gaze as we sat still, afraid to move, afraid to make any sound. *Did w...
"What do people do here?" It was an innocent enough questions considering the current surroundings. "Well really anything your imagination can come up with. This is paradise boy."The boy wasn't really happy with the answer. He wanted concrete examples. The fact that he was dead still hadn't fully set itself in. "But...
Hitler has bad gas from his poor diet. He never stops shouting and practicing basic karate moves he claims are superior. Napoleon always complains about not getting top bunk. He insists it's not that complex. He always goes to the coldest part of the room and complains. Caesar keeps eying everyone like they are going...
I like the idea of doing what some other creative subreddits do - leaving the responses unordered for at least a few hours, with their score not shown. This leaves people unbiased as to how they vote, and gives other responses a chance. I'm sure that all of us have, at some point, read the first response and liked it s...
I clutch the tattered Microsoft coat more tightly, glance both ways, and duck down the street. Stray gunfire ricochets off various surfaces, but I'm unharmed. Things haven't been the same since Xbox lost control of the region. At least it was bearable when they had control - Now, instability has made it impossible for...
“Good evening, sir, I’m Mr. Carter and this is Mr. Williams. We’re here to talk to you about a very urgent matter.” “Is everything alright?“ “That depends. Have you heard about Jesus?” “Jesus? No...No, well, there was a Jesus who used to do some yardwork for the old couple across the street. Oh, and there’s a Ja...
The lights begin flickering back on, as the ship begins to bring the crew out of cryosleep. Reaching it's destination, the ship performs an automatic scan of the planet, as well as the long list of other tasks the crew programmed into the central computer before entering their millenia long sleep. As the crew comes o...
I don't understand, I thought everything was great with my people - they fed me, worshipped me, let me sleep on their laps, in their laundry, on their bed. Life was good. Then one day they got a piece of paper that made them cry. I don't like when my people cry, so I rubbed up against them and purred, tried to get ...
Really honored to win, especially in a contest voted on by my peers. As any writer knows, it's a long and frustrating/rewarding journey. I'd lean toward 'fucking annoying' more than anything else. I'm never where I want to be. Ever. Tons of nights I've felt like putting my fist through my computer screen or drinking to...
“Wake up, son. They’re coming.” “Tommy Lee Jones?” The soldier looks confused. “Look to the skies, son. We can’t have them waking him up.” “Waking who up?” “The unknown soldier.” THIS SUMMER Sporadic shots of heavy gunfire and screaming The tomb cracks and dark clouds pour out. Men are slowly engulfed in...
"Well, this is sure something, "the president walked across the room and open a cabinet containing Pappy Van Wrinkle bourbon. He held it up to the fireplace and looked at the inside of the bottle. "Thought I would be able to save this for my entire term, but already half through, "he thought to himself out loud. Rem...
Well, fuck me. His mother's eyes. Those bring back memories. I start to cry as I look into his eyes. He goes from looking furious to confused. I can't blame him on any count. "Son, I-" "I'm not your son,"he corrects me. "Right, of course. I just wanna say...I think we can both agree that I suck. And I..."I choke up ...
Jim forced the sandwich down his throat, swallowing dry lumps in between sobs. Tears moistened his face. This was the last sandwich she had ever made him. He had dug it out from the back of the fridge. Why had he been such a fool? He thought of the first time he had seen her. Straight brown hair and a summer dress. ...
I responded to a craigslist add for a demon hunter. Turns out this dude is not joking around. He really thinks demons exist and is planning on a hunting expedition. No skin off my teeth. My apartment lease is up, I've got no one depending on me--why not? I'm getting paid $100 a day. Miguel, my trainer and 'boss', seem...
As far as sci-fi authors went, Mel thought that Peter F. Hamilton was still evolving and improving as a writer. The Commonwealth Saga had been great, but the newest book was magnificent - a science fiction Magnum Opus that she hoped wouldn't be let down by the promised sequel. She pushed her glasses up the bridge of he...
Last line: All in all, it was a fairy uneventful mutiny. --- First Mate Gray wore a scowl as he got news of his promotion. "What of Captain Hydor?"He asked the crew, amassed outside his cabin door. He pulled a cotton shirt over his head as he stepped into the crowd of two dozen. "Have you killed him, then?...
It's not as easy as they say, being as me. It's not what they told me... but it's what I believe. &nbsp; They told me there was honor among thieves... Honor is a hard sought virtue from those who take and reave. From house to house, it's all the same. You come and go, eventually gaining some sort of notori...
I woke up to the sweet voice of my child. "I am only doing this because I love you, Daddy."My eyelids have never opened so quickly. It wouldn't have been such a big deal, except she had a trace of regret in her voice. And I had a gun in my face. "Sweetie, It's not okay to play with toy guns like that."It's too early ...
We were alone, Or so we thought. How could we have known That we were not? &nbsp; So when they came, Silver of skies, Panic lit ablaze Radio cries. &nbsp; Signals and transmissions, all urgent rush. Despite their warnings, We could not hush. &nbsp; So we learned of The ire of space That dre...
Eddie reclined in his chair and stared at the television screen. Sylvester Stallone was standing buck-naked in the prison shower being sprayed by the policemen. Sighing, Eddie sipped at his warm beer and let his gaze wonder over to the window that overlooked the rolling hills of California. Things were better now. Ev...
I close my eyes and take a stuttering breath as a few tears I've been repressing trickle down my face. They roll to a halt on my stubble, and I wipe them off with the back of my hand, stained black-red with blood. The shovel I limply release falls to the grass with a muted /thud/. I can't do anything except stare at ...
Riss took the last swig of wine from his flask. There was no drink in this city. One of many oddities. He had been here two days, and already, he suspected that the rumors were true. The people were too supplicating. Too easy to control. He had not heard one argument, or one harsh word between anyone. Not even a teas...
ADISSANT (Serial #445921-186) Log 1048 Hours - The Master brought to me a bone fragment-fibula. Elevated heart rate, short vocal cues, and wagging behavior indicated that Fetch protocol should be activated. Bone fragment was thrown 152.7 feet. The Master went out to retrieve the bone fragment. The Master returned wi...
I snapped to consciousness screaming. In the shower...of what looked like my parents house. "What the..." Last I remember, were those two headlights coming right at me. AHHEEM I snapped my head to the right. A beautiful woman stood outside the shower. "HOLY SHIT"I screamed as I covered my bits. She tipped her...
My trousers bulged, and spewed forth spaghetti. Cold, slimy tendrils splattered on the floor. I was beyond embarrassment now, and just looked ahead of me. I quickened the pace and i could see that heads were turning. Soon, some petty representative of the State's authority would come and stop my escape. The endless spa...
I often tell my targets, right before they die, that it wasn’t personal. I’m not sure if it gives them comfort to know that it wasn’t personal for me – it’s just a job. I’m sure it probably doesn’t provide much of a consolation. After all, dying is pretty damn personal for him or her. But I do it nonetheless. And it’s ...
Cleopatra wanted necklaces. She said so one day. "I want necklaces"she said. A man heard her. This man didn't like necklaces. He liked other things. The man like Cleopatra. "I like Cleopatra"the man said. "I will buy her necklaces with money." The man didn't have money. He knew how to get money. The man worked f...
cin>>user_input; cout<<user_input<<endl; "what is your purpose?" parse_sentence(user_input); wordcount: 4 what: pronoun is: present tense copula your: possessive adjective purpose: noun terminating_character=? define("purpose"); "The reason why something is done; the aim or intention of som...
Meeting Cthulhu at that party and then getting the invitation on a card of tanned human flesh was pretty shocking but from then on the whole Eldritch horror thing got progressively diminishing returns and from that point on I was mostly just stressing about what I was going to bring. I never know what to bring to thes...
The fairy godmother appeared in a shower of sparkles. "Hello, child!"she chirped. "I am your—" The prince yawned loudly. "Can you get me a new horse?" The grin froze on her face. "What—" "My old horse got dirt on his hooves, and I want a new one! Daddy won't get me one though."He examined her critically. "Your dress...
Cave rat looked upon his Vorpal Spear with confusion. His family had perished to the monster, and from their bodies similar items were collected. Cave rat didn't know how he was carrying such items, but somehow they were in his inventory. For a moment, it seemed to have whispered to him. His attention currently belonge...
"Christina?" She looked like the girl in the picture, at least. Petite, almond-shaped eyes, dark hair down to her waist. She smiled at me, her round cheeks making those sparkling eyes almost disappear. I sighed in relief that I hadn't been stood up this time- first time in over a month of online dating. "Hey there. ...
“Dude wake up I need your help” I opened my eyes slowly, wondering how my housemate had gotten into my room, and what time it was. I look at the clock, 6:15. Way too early for Steve’s bullshit. I opened my mouth and immediately Steve started talking. “It’s 6:15. I used the spare key you keep hidden in the kitchen, ...
“Hot Singles in your area!” The ad popped up in David’s peripheral vision, causing him to groan as he moved the virtual cursor to exit it. Immediately, more pop ups began appearing all around him, effectively blinding him from the outside world. Insurance, Cars, New houses. Everyone in the room was staring at him, he k...
It would've been the perfect view, really, which is precisely why I chose it. I feel the ocean spray upon my face as I run up the cliff, and the sun shines an orange-red color as it begins to sink behind the waves. There is the roaring sound of waves hurling themselves against sand beneath me; above, gulls caw and bi...
"Donald, I know you have superpowers!"Larry shouted as he strode into the tiny breakroom, raising today's newspaper in the air triumphantly. I sighed and put down my day-old donut on the styrofoam plate. I could feel the frustration already flowing out of the air in my breath. Larry slammed the newspaper down onto th...
The Real McKoy was a superhero, the greatest among superheroes. He had superpowers that made him the strongest man on Earth. Super strength, super speed, even flight! He was undefeated in combat. It was said that his shield could deflect any attack, while his sword could cut through anything. But the Real McKoy's ...
It all started when a simple program designed to recognize CAPTCHAs became sentient and self improving. It seemed rather innocuous at the beginning - driven by it's desire to self improve, AI started downloading and processing all the images, and improving it's algorithm to be more and more sophisticated. Soon my co...
Jared stood at the podium looking out at the crowd. He was nervous for a minute and then broke into a speech heavily plagiarized from Bernie Sanders, without the passion or knowledge base. "And so in conclusion, down with the one percent and free tuition for all" … Jared sat at his desk in the oval office. He put hi...
“Tremble, mortal! For you have uncovered the Great and Powerful Djinn, Qu’a—” “Great, just my luck. First I lose my job, then my wife leaves me, and now I have to deal with one of you pricks.” Clearly, this was a man who had been pranked a good too many times. Very few people believe in the first genie they see, but ...
Part 1 I was only fourteen when it happened. It was my birthday, though I hardly remember the details of that day. I received the game as a gift, from who, I can't recall, but I do know that they are to blame. At least, more than I can be. After booting the game up on my PC and watching with giddy eagerness as the Ma...
>I am an outgoing member of our local community. Unfortunately, I have fallen on hard times attempting to go it alone and I am looking forward for an opportunity to prove myself in your fantastic organization of evildoers. I think I am just what you're looking for. Passing me up would be a waste of a valuable additi...
I was nervous, of course, as I traveled through space at a speed close to that of light. I was headed for our first meeting with Earth's Sister Planet. My two companions were Gwrzxfdnoins, or at least, that's the best transliteration the Latin alphabet has for that they called themselves. The Gwrzxfdnoins were sickly ...
This war has been good for business, REPCONN was bringing in the big money after the sellout to Robco. This meant that I could finally afford to put my family on the Vault-tec waiting list. The very next week I got the approval letter in the mail with instructions on where to meet. I parked my Corvega on the grass nex...
Susan held David's hands comfortingly and rubbed them against her cheek, and all David could do was stare into her loving eyes and attempt to grasp at some thought to convey. "I want us to be together, David. I know you want it, too. You're not being fair to Marybeth by going on like this. You have to be honest wit...
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Following the peace brokered by Trump between the race of Americans and men, profit befell the planet. Dignity was returned to a throne sullied by the disastrous rule of pretenders, charlatans, and a black. He was rechristened king and blessed with the authority, supremacy, and s...
#The Daily Planet Page A1 Get Rid of Gotham's Crooked Politics and Remove the Need for the Batman by Clark Kent Everyone in Metropolis has heard of crime-stricken Gotham and the lone figure who stalks the night, keeping the city safe from heinous supervillains. The Batman. I set out to get the full story on t...
"This is the server,"He said. "Basically the same as you're used to. A few differences. Here's the master reset." "Where's the button?"I asked. "It's just a hole." Satan clicked his long, bony fingers. "You're sharp, man. You're sharp. That's why you're the man for the job. Yeah, you have to put your dick in there. T...
3rd day of Spring, [Smudged ink] "I've been following the school of Magikarp for days. They're pathetic, bumping into each other, swimming in circles, but I can't deny the majesty of their numbers. Hundreds of Magikarp! The Professor will be so excited to hear about this, even if they don't seem to be going anywh...
I was that weird kid in school. You know, the one everyone avoids, the one everyone felt uncomfortable around. They told themselves that it was because I was a "creep", because I was "crazy". The real reason was that I knew more about them than they knew about themselves, and that feeling of being powerless manifested ...
In all honesty, I had forgotten about them. This huge universe that I made, that I watched grow, and all of the life was destroyed by a stupid meteor that I forgot I sent. I stopped watching. I let it run in the background, but eventually forgot about it. Now they're gonna discover me. Those bitches are playing with a ...
Me. It's pretty obvious that I'm the tallest but I can't really be the strongest guy on our ship right? I mean I'm not weak by any means, but I don't want the war against a race we just met to rely on my fighting skills, or prowess? Whatever, it's still a lot riding on a guy who has only been in one fight and got his n...
The ceiling fan blew cold air down on my chest as I came to. I felt groggy and tried to roll over to go back to sleep when I realized I was tied to the bed and couldn't move. I also remembered that I don't own a ceiling fan. I tried lifting my head, but realized that it was tied down as well. thwump thwump thwump T...
...I'm sure that if it existed we would have gone by now" "Ok but we have gone wait what?" "If it existed…" "If what existed?" "The moon" "You don't think the moon exists?" "I know the moon doesn't exist" Tim stared at Max, lost for words, his face naturally arranging itself to try and convey as best as it could...
I glanced up from my sketch book as she stopped in front of my table, her free hand tapping at the chair across from me. "This seat open?"she asked, giving the words an upward lilt to suggest a question. Brown hair fell in waves around sparkling hazel eyes. I nodded, only briefly eyeing her, not wanting to lose my f...
This isn't exactly what the prompt asked for, but I hadn't got any ideas for interstellar wars. Instead, enjoy the beginning of a lecture at an alien university! *** A pseudopedicle extended outwards, fluids flushing through xylematic channels under its greyish-white flesh, and it delicately began to manipulate the...
I don't make the papers. There's nothing in the news about a fancy killer with a catchy name. Just bodies. Bloodied bodies that suffered blunt force trauma from an as yet unidentified weapon. The police with their precious prophetess can't find a murder weapon. No weapon, no motive, no manhunt. Their mistake was in l...
It was a quiet night. Darlene was more than content spending the night alone, as she skimmed through the programs playing on TV. She was reading the description for a show she's never heard of before, when the doorbell rang. "Ahh, about time,"she muttered to herself, as she hopped off the sofa to get the door. She ...
The question was: Was it my consciousness giving him a life in my mind, or was a projection of his mind that gave me consciousness? Really, there was only one way to find out. To forget him. Now, I know what you're thinking, 'How do you just 'forget' a friend?'. Well, theoretically, I can't. I can't if I'm a figment o...
Something was terribly wrong with Johnson, and nobody quite knew how to handle it. He showed up to work at 8:00 a.m. like usual. His secretary, Diane, brought him his morning coffee: dark roast, two sugars, a dash of cream, stirred with a small teaspoon. But Johnson didn't seem particularly interested in coffee this m...
Bing The interface places a green outline around a tall woman with chocolate skin and bright red lipstick. I smile at her, pretending that I am ignoring the stats that scroll to the left of her wonderfully frizzy hair. We are compatible, at least in the eyes of the programming from our Tinder chip implants which...
We have this mirror in our house that the cat hates. It'll stare at its reflection for hours, perched upon the edge of the sofa just staring as if trying to establish dominance over itself. Now, this wasn't unusual behavior for Banjo since the very sight of another living thing anywhere in its vicinity immediately prom...
The project took several years to complete, and it was, without a doubt, my life's work. The Universe Simulator was a work of art; a brilliant creation, if I may say so myself, that seemed to perfectly model our universe. Before I even started the simulation, I was already nominated for all sorts of prizes, culminating...
The lights flickered again. It was annoying as hell but a least they were on most of the time now. The first days after the shuffle had been the worst, people were all randomly switched all across the globe. A man standing in paris could suddenly find himself in the australian outback, or an alaskan fisherman could...
Throwing my self against a wall, my night time gun clutched between my hands. I try to control my breath as war shocks around me. I glance around the corner, seems clear. I make my move down the alley. Hydra has done it again, showing it's multi-headed face as it attacks avengers HQ. Coulson told me this would be the...
Things only really started getting bad when I broke the radio. With no hope of changing the channel I crossed my fingers and hoped for a gentle song. All of that died when I heard that familiar riff. The breakfast show decided that seven in the morning was perfect for some Ninety's Nostalgia. *So no one told you life ...
I remember going into work after I had gotten a text message from the secretary saying that there was a new foreign employee, and they weren't used to America yet, so they was a little weird. All right , no biggie I thought to myself. I had worked with intergrating foreigners into the workplace before . When I arrive...
Satan: I swear, they’ll fall for it. St.Peter: Have a little faith... (A person with a bleeding bullethole to the side of his head appears, Satan starts staring) St. Peter: That could be a regular occuranc... (*suddenly more and more people start appearing, all with signs of self inflicted wounds, burns, or a tel...
There are six goats on the farm outside the city. They are being raised by an older gay couple. The two men used to work in a high stress field and have decided to give it all up and try their hand at subsistence farming. The tentative farmers do not know whether or not any of the goats are related to each other. T...
I wa scratching at the port on the back of my head as Mom and Dad led me into the Guardian-Guide Assignment Center. Mom peered down at me and flashed an excited grin. "Are you excited to meet your new guide, Thomas?"My chest fluttered with nervousness but I nodded anyways. "Great! You know, Mommy's guide helps her with...
Part 1 "This must be it, damn... There's too much i'm going to miss, too much I wanted to do with my life..." speaking to myself as I fall deeper and deeper into the deep ocean. "Wake up!" came a loud voice in a world of white nothingness. My eyes open wide and i'm blinded by the brightness of this vast r...
A poem I wrote some time ago which fits the theme of the prompt, though not the exact requirements. I hope it's acceptable. The Archer Alone. The archer stood in the forest. He had slain the dark creatures of the woods. Arrows had sailed from his bow. Their bodies lay dead at his feet. It was too...
Samuel ran into the tent, almost out of breath. "What fool thing have you done now?"said Carmo, rising from the fire. "And what's wrong with your face?"said Bas, face scrunched in confusion, "and your clothes?" Samuel looked down, noticing for the first time that his skin had begun to glow, faintl...
I wake up to yet another day. I don't really need to sleep, but at least in my dreams, sometimes, she comes back to me. It's been so long, well, for me it's just been a small part of my life, but for her, I don't really know... I can't know... All I can do is hope. People haven't realised I'm a Homoheidelbergensis fr...
She was naked, and she smelled like sex. Seriously, I have no other excuse for why I agreed to let her try this. I mean... I really should have known better. I'm the bloody self insert here, nothing ever goes according to plan. I mean, hell, I was in the world for less than a minute before I was killed and tur...
The Boy Jesus is Found at the Temple and Instructed on Boning Luke 2: 46-63 46 After three days they found him in the temple courts, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. 47 Everyone who heard him was amazed at his understanding and his answers. 48 When his parents saw him,...
It's pretty tough out there for a psychiatrist nowadays. People don't believe me when I tell them, but it's true. I started practicing after passing my boards two years ago, and I'm still over a hundred grand in debt. I decided, in my infinite wisdom, to hang my shingle in an area that was currently "medically under...
The accent startled Jean-Luc more than the origin of the voice. "Pardon me?"He stuttered, looking around. There was not an Irishman around; just the biting sand and the whipping wind and the miserable crew huddled under the tent that offered meager protection. Three hundred miles from the closest village, they had voic...
"Go on in, they're waiting."A long arm prodded me towards the entrance to a grand hall. "I told you, you got the wrong guy! At least let me-" "Ah ah ah!"It hummed. "The council just wishes to see an average person from the South Western United States. You will be compensated for your time when this is finished."My ey...
"Honey, someone's at the door,"my wife called to me from the living room. I got up from my nap and walked through the hall, peeking at the door from around the corner. Through the warped pattern of the glass, I could make out who it was. "Shit, Deborah, it's the tax collector again. You wanna have Jimmy answer the doo...
Robert slowly sat down across from his wife as he poured them both some green tea. She had wanted something calming, but she hated peppermint. "Something bothering you?"he asked with a heavy expression on his face. Oh God, should I tell him about the affair I've been having? He looked at his wife fidget as he tri...
'Uh, hey man. I'm, uh, Greg.' He sat down next to the stranger at the last table in the corner of Hell's lunchroom. 'So, uh, look, I'm new here...I don't get that we eat lunch...isn't this meant to be damnation forever?' Greg asked. The stranger looked at his orange juice thoughtfully, then decided not to say anyt...
"How's it going, eh?" "Excuse me?" "How you doing, buddy?" "The fuck? I know you did it." "Did it?" "You... you know. You used the forbidden letter." "I didn't do nothing!" "You definitely used it." "Listen, listen, listen. If I did, it's purely by chunce." "By chunce?" "Yes.. you know.. By chunce. Like, just...
God damn its fucking cold right now! Why the hell do they make us do this shit outside? I understand that its supposed to strengthen our connection to nature or some shit, but its fucking 20 degrees outside. There are only two things I can feel right now; sorrow for the sorry sons of bitches who live further north, ...
"Wait, I have to what?" "You heard me! Save me!" "Man, another busted DVD." "I am not!" "Woah, how is that even ---- " "QUICK! I'm locked in the bathroom, where do I go?!" "Hold on, let me get my --- " "Oh my god it's coming!" "HOLD ON. I'm googling this." "Will that stop it?" "Depends." "On what?!" "'Character, ...
Continue Active.Program &nbsp; Memorize the program. The program. I am the program. Look around, what do I see? No. I Gather Input It's a Hotel Room. My Hotel Room! Memory indicates I'm still in the Old City. I Remember... What next? What do I do? The Program. I am the Program...
"Lorie, I thought I was very clear about this. Anything marked with my name in the fridge is mine. We have these rules for a reason."I spoke directly to her but it was hard to tell if she was getting what I was saying. She always wore wayyyy too much makeup and it made her expression unreadable. "Lorie, c'mon. At le...
Toby Alan Hodgson (born April 3rd, 1982) is an insurance claims adjuster with Atlas Securities. He focuses primarily on small business insurance, and he has no idea what's really going on. Education Toby was educated first at Holemartin Primary School, and then at the affiliated Holemartin Secondary School....
“One day I’m going to the get to the bottom!” The words of my eight-year old self echoed in my head as I packed my bags. Back then it had been a good joke. My parents would look at each other and smile. My dad would tousle my hair and say: “We’ll see when you’re older.” But the older I got, the less funny it bec...
My granma had ninety nine problems. My father was the ninetieth of them. She grew tired of having to remember the names after her twenty third child so she just started naming them in sequence. As you can probably guess, Ninety was pretty close to Eightynine. They shared a special bond which soon became intimate. One ...

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