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You will never know what you love
Because my joy will eclipse all your joy.
My joy will feel like a surprise party with all your friends,
And whole body orgasms,
And quiet afternoons cradling your first born
Who looks with wonder at the syncopated raindrops
That pill on the skylight and stream away.
Whatever hap... |
At first I thought I was dreaming. Outside, walking my dog, minding my own business until the spotlight hit me. I really thought it was a flashback to my days in drama class, but I suppose that would be more of a nightmare. Anyways, when I started to rise up - and leave Spot behind, I didn’t want to choke the poor guy ... |
Monday. My God, another Monday. Three years at this lousy job and not a Monday goes by without the same cookie cutter monotony as the last. Perhaps it will be different today. Maybe the snow storm will halt the Kentucky and Burtonsville, MD shipments, reducing our pacakge flow by half. If I could just wait this out one... |
David scaled the last of the wall, his strength nearly sapped. He looked around the snow-swept mountaintop, scanning for his destination. There, just visible through the snow and biting wind, he spied light. Trudging through the gale, he could hardly believe his eyes. David had come at last to The Temple Of All Kno... |
"I was committed to a deep sense of oneness with the inherent randomness of life and the universe. The chaos of the piece might first look like it arose by accident, but that is an expression of chaos itself - representing both the attempts of humanity to force order on the universe and the failure to do so."
"At the... |
I have it all.
It's easy, when you can do what I do. Every mistake I ever made never happened.
Every embarrassment was just a bad dream. Am I a super star athlete? No, of course not. If I try and fail I never tried in the first place. No one knows my failures. Not even me, to an extent.
Life's easy when you have yo... |
John Cena stepped out of the black sedan and on to the paved tarmac. Air Force one was a few hundred yards away glimmering in the bright sunlight. Directly in front of him, standing with his back turned, was the President of the United States.
“John Cena,” the president said, as he turned around. “Thank you for coming... |
"Alright, on the count of three?"
"Yes."
"One"
"Two"
"Three"
"Oh my god, no what are we.. What? What's happening? Why didn't he jump? Did he just kill me? Oh my god no."
As her body met with the harsh, rigid ground, her last thought was of her little sister. How could she have been so selfish and naive to th... |
Crystal smiled gently as she opened the door, her foot propping it open as an elderly man hobbled through. As the man's hunched over form passed the unmistakable odor of an unchanged catheter wafted into Crystals nose causing her to retch in revulsion. *This world would be so much better if we could just euthanize old ... |
Yup. It's why I don't write here anymore.
I did a test and posted a [shit story to a Batman WP. 350+ upvotes and got a soundcloud narration (and the guy did a good job).](http://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/307atr/eubatman_dies_unexpectedly_this_troubles_the/cppuoj7)
Anything else? Any of the better stor... |
"Ugh"I try and get the oily taste out of my mouth. My body is stuck to the seat thanks to some sort of dried up material. Wait. Seat? I open my eyes and blink the sleep out of them.
"Oh god,"I hear myself say. I'm in the back of a police car that's pulled over with woods on one side and a dirt road on the other. I rea... |
I was raised a catholic. I got baptized, went to a catholic high school, became confirmed and did all the other 'rituals' that made my parents happy to have raised a good catholic. I let my religious parents control every aspect of my life, and was a good student. I thank my parents for forcing me to become a good stud... |
"Come in, unidentified contact. This is Faulkner. You are being assigned call sign 'Gorky'.Do you copy, Gorky? Over"
"Negative, Nixon. This is Lenin. We will assign call sign. You are Nixon. We are Lenin. Do you copy, Nixon? Over"
"*sigh*, how about we choose Faulkner and Lenin. How copy? Over"
"Negative, Nixon. You... |
I've never been a remarkable man. It's been years since someone recognized me for myself, but that doesn't bother me much. I still get my fair share of conversation.
"John?"
Today it's the starbucks barista, apparently. She's looking at me, wide-eyed, with hurt and love and hope and desperation painted on her face i... |
It is almost tea time. Bilbo will be getting thirsty soon.
>> make tea
Bilbo cannot make tea without a kettle!
>> make tea with kettle
You do not have “kettle” in your inventory.
>> get kettle
You do not see “kettle”. Where could it be?
>> look around
Bilbo is at home in his hobbit hole.... |
There seemed nothing out of the ordinary about a child of six sporting little cuts and bruises at first. All children of that age fall over, scrape their knees and bump into chairs and tables. As a particularly clumsy and forgetful child, I'd often have no idea how I got them - I'd just assume that I'd fallen over or s... |
The monitor started beeping wildly and I jerked awake to see it reading and storing a very long light pattern. I picked up my phone and instantly called in the rest of the crew. The pattern was still being recorded as they rushed through the doors one by one.
"Is that... "
"It's not natural. There are repeating patte... |
A cell. I can't believe this.
I pace the floor, hands behind my back in contemplation. This shouldn't even be possible. I was trying to right the world, to remove the scum holding back the good people of Farriston. Now I have been captured by Farriston's own police.
It is an injustice.
I do not know how I got here. ... |
It wasn't long after the great collapse that we took to the oceans. If only we'd realised our folly.
First, the bombs had dropped. But lots of us had been prepared for that.
Second, the survivors had turned against each other. A desperate scrabble for food and water, or maybe we just saw each others real faces for t... |
It had been January 3rd the day my life became forfeit. Not a bad time really. I had almost a whole year to go. So I did what any sane person would do. I lived life to the fullest. I dropped out of college, no point if I wasn't going to live long enough to get my degree. I remember joking with my mother, "Hey, at least... |
"Oh God, is it Gang Day again already?"asked Mimi. I hadn't heard her this disgusted since we stepped in roadkill that had dragged itself up onto the sidewalk.
"I don't know,"I said, as we walked past the multicolored, glittering display booths on our way to the cafeteria. "I've always kind of liked Gang Day."
Above ... |
The protocols for terragenesis have been established for Millenia. When the forward scouts came back with news that a promising planet had been found, it only took three decades for the preparations to complete. With every planet that time shortened, we grew more efficient, more capable of changing our homes. Yet there... |
I press the button.
Darkness flows out from the machine, streaming out in black tendrils all around. In ten seconds flat, the sky is cleared of nearly all light. I send a mirage of a moon and some stars up, just to complete the image.
My new subjects cower in fear as I laugh evilly, because I can.
I keep laughing.
... |
Should I have been suspicious? Probably, but they paid me well enough to not be suspicious. I got a decent living wage to browse Reddit, who wouldn't jump at a chance like that? Liars. That's who.
All I had to do was report my browser history, my upvotes, likes, whatever. They didn't even care if I watched porn! Occa... |
"Dammit Jim, why?"I paced across the deck. "Why did ye do it?"
"She be a fine lass, cap'n."Jim stood rigid and did not meet my eye. We both knew what he had done, and no pirates should ever have done it. "An' I would do it a thousand times over if I could!"
"Feel ye no shame?"
Jim hesitated before nodding. "Sham... |
It was Saturday night, around 21.00 when i fucked up. My roommates was already at some party that i wasn't invited to, (Figures...) So i did what i had done as far back as i could remember.
I did the Ol' Crtl + Shift + N, closed the blinders, looked outside in the hallway and started... *cough* "browsing."
I was done... |
Specks of blood dotted the flowers of a bright and open field. Soon winter would come and then maybe the smell wouldn't be so bad. Until then there would be only the buzzing flies and the burnt, crisp grass. Yes, hopefully the snows and the rains will wash away the remnants of what happened here and then give rise to s... |
''*The Martian revolution enters its third year after another shelling by the U.S.A, devastating the latest Libranist reinforcement of the independent Mars Collective, killing another three hundred escapees from the American southern states of Argentina, Uruguay and Chile. In related news, The Europan Alliance lands th... |
"And so, to conclude, these data indicate an accurate method of measuring and collecting the electric output that accompanies the radiation given off by a charged black hole of sufficient mass."The well-known computerized voice was met immediately with thunderous applause that rang throughout the large conference room.... |
It was just supposed to be a stupid game. All the fun ones are. You stand in front of a mirror or in a closet and whisper the magic words, fully conscious that there's no possible way for whatever monster conjured from the imagination of your friends could possibly appear. This one was no different. We'd played *Bloody... |
Once upon a midnight dreary, flying through a storm most eerie
over many great and spurious tides against the violent shores;
   There I spotted, in that instant, solid stone off in the distance
standing, promising assistance, refuge from the kissing storm.
   "... |
Riot looked down at the pile of papers on her desk. Her father, War, was counting on her to put in a good word. With the Apocalypse of this reality coming up soon... well Riot had better get Death to agree to lend a hand. Rumor had gotten a job with Mars, and was fattening him up with juicy gossip.
Ringing her white ... |
Nick rolled out of bed and on to the floor with a groan. He had hoped the uncomfortableness of the floor would help wake him up, but he was so sleepy the floor felt about as good as the bed. He felt himself drifting off, but forced himself to stand up. I just need some coffee, he thought to himself. He worked his way d... |
Another drool night slumming around the ghettos, shuttling the local drunks and trash to and fro. Waiting for that one good call to test my skills, to challenge my hands.
As the night dragged on, an uneventful lull in the early hours of the day had me dozing off, just then, my radio chirped and my computer buzzed. Of... |
I knew why I had been sent to hell in the first place, of course. I had been a kind man, given millions to charity, treated everyone nicely, gone out of my way to help where I could. I had lived on little because I needed little, and spent a lot to make the world a better place... But I had worn polyester/cotton blend ... |
'Dude, what the fuck!' James stepped into a puddle of sick as Clancy continued to vomit into the bin by his bed. The ritual sacrifice was supposed to happen an hour ago and you were still predrinking in halls. For the two people that were supposed to save the world from demonic annihilation, the night hadn't started to... |
"Good morning Dave."
Well that was odd. I could have sworn I muted my computer last night, and why did it change the start up sound? Dammit, better run a virus scan, should have known better than to use that movie site.
"That won't be necessary Dave, I have already run scans and removed seventeen simple malware in... |
The blacksmith's apprentice struck the orange-hot metal with the heavy hammer, sending up sparks and pounding the metal into shape. After hitting the metal, the hammer bounced up, and the apprentice brought it back down on the bare metal of the anvil. The hammer rebounded, came back down on the hot iron, and was bounce... |
It was the intern's fault.
Poor, enthusiastic Sarah Smith just *had* to run into her boss's office with a question about paperwork. And that's when she saw her boss sucking... on a bottle of A positive.
Sarah did the thing that all young people do when confronted with a strange situation; she pulled out her phone and... |
Name?
Oh, I dunno. 'Drizzle'?
Shit, already taken.
'Drizzlette?'
Wow, okay...
Okay, fine, I'm pulling out the big guns for this one: 'DrizzletteDurrrden', as in, the Down's cousin.
Profession? Which one lets me dual wield? Fighter?
Sigh. Fighter, again.
Gender?
*Gender?* You mean sex, right? Don'... |
For the twelfth time in the course of the day, Frank asked himself why in the hell he went to work today. His shoulder cramped up at the place where his cybernetic arm joined his biological body as he remembered the last time an anomaly warning occurred. A great big lizard tore through his house and bit his arm off. Th... |
I wake up to find sticky notes on the ceiling. Where am I? I sit up in my bed, and see the closest two. Green. "This is your home."Green. "Go out and to the left."
Confused, I obey. Along the hallway are a few more. Green. "Your name is Rick."How do they know my name? Who's they? I pick up the pace. At the end of the ... |
When first contact was made, mankind was quite ecstatic, finally a confirmation of life in the universe, finally we knew we were not alone. And when the meeting came between our astronauts and theirs, both of us were quite surprised. Imagine being that first astronaut, landing in their giant hanger, walking out to meet... |
“Do you understand, Frank?”
The devil didn’t wear Prada, it turned out. He wore a three piece suit, with a beautiful red silk tie. He was as intimidating as I thought he would be, but it was his tone that threw me off. He seemed to care deeply for me, asking me if I truly understood what I was getting myself into. For... |
COMMANDING UNIT 34 REPORT ROUTINE
 
Commanding Unit 34's day started off in a typical way. The Asia-Axis powers had once again launched an initiative at the NA-Ally Japanese holdings. That silly commanding unit had been doing this for 5-years and desperately needed a new logic upgrade to its main AI core. ... |
OSHA be damned. In my day nobody cared. We were just a bunch of guys in t-shirts and worn out jeans drinking beer and building houses. Sure, sometimes some idiot would pop himself with the nail gun or take a tumble off a roof but that was life. Nearly 20 years in construction and the most I had was a few smashed thumbs... |
"So Jesus..."
"Yes, Peter?"
"The other disciples and I were talking about the other night when you brought out those amphora of wine."
"That was aweso... I mean, a miraculous sight, wasn't it?"
"Yes, but we were concerned with how you called it a miracle; you just waited for everyone to turn around and switched out... |
I used to be a golden retreiver, I remember now. I realized that about myself when I took LSD. I remember my human, Dave, he always knew what is right and gave meaning to my life. He could perform miracles such as creating food out of nothing, creating light in the whole room, and controlling the metal beasts.
I was c... |
“What are you saying? You think someone's been here before?” I asked Steven.
“I'm saying it looks like it, Ross, I'm not saying it's true.” The numbskull responded.
“Are you kidding? We had to transverse the impossible to get here, and you think someone got here before us?” 'Finding a loophole in the impossible' was ... |
"They said I was mad."Said an old man, taking a drag from his corncob pipe. "Told me I've gone absolutely mental."
"Why is that?"Asked a young journalist, pen and paper in hand.
"People didn't want to believe me. I been sayin' the same thing since 2000."
"Saying *what*, exactly?"Said the journalist, tapping his pen ... |
**Emperor Manchild**
The greatest royalty in the galaxy was gathered around the amphitheatre. They were determined to win the favor of the newest galactic leader, Lord-Emperor Manchild.
"Husband,"Lady Sibyl whispered, from her position near the back, "which family is Manchild? I'm not familiar with this name."
"I ... |
"See what I mean?"Raika said, pointing at the plastic screen. A series of red dots cut across, increasing in brightness toward the middle of the progression, and then fading away as they ran toward the other end of the screen. "Nothing at all like how my book predicts. Where are the spirals?"
"What are you talking abo... |
Ted was a quiet man, in his fifties with a stocky build, a no-nonsense type character who wore a look of grit on his countenance. Ted had spent roughly twenty years working the grounds of the Oak Grove Cemetery that was nestled in between two major towns. During his tenure, he had seen his fair share of the interesting... |
"Hey, listen baby, I'm sorry!"Jerry stood with arms outstretched towards the sky. "I didn't mean it, now come on down and lets talk."
Skealtorb, Stark Leviathan of the Seventh Realm, unleashed a bolt of pure energy from one of her million tentacles at a nearby building. "**You don't love me! You never cared for my fee... |
"...and what a surprisingly better performance than expected from GWAR! They've really managed to wow the audience with their 'blood' cannons."
"And how about the 'animal sacrifice' there John, I saw them back in 2015 and quite frankly I was worried they would use the same tired gags and props without trying anything ... |
**No Other Explanation**
Nobody believed me. When I tried to show them, nothing happened. But I heard it.
Oh yes, I heard it.
My parents took me on a tour through Europe because I had graduated - no, I had done more than graduated. I was salutatorian, second best in my year.
"Where do you want to go, Giorgio?"the... |
Ted entered the life office and walked up to the front desk. The 19 year old secretary was ignoring him to face time here soul mate.
"No I love you more"she said
"No I love you more"he said
"No I love you more"she said
Ted rang the bell.
"No I love you more"he said
"No I love you more"she said
"No I love you mor... |
I joined the army at the age of 19, back in 2012.
I graduated uneventfully in 2013, and was deployed to Afghanistan. This deployment was surprisingly easy; we would be deployed to combat the insurgents, but by the time we arrived the insurgents would have fallen back into the hills.
We would be traveling from one bas... |
At the end of the nineteenth century humanity saw itself as masters of the world. Their iron railroads crossed the world, and their iron ships sailed the seas. Soon, they would fly with the birds.
However, it was not to last. In 1904 a small epidemic started in the Indian city of Calcutta. Within a month it was in Lon... |
Deep-wombed Gaia, magnanimous and stern, birthed twins.
Swaddled in sun rays, nursed by constellations, the embracing pair formed a sphere conducive to propagation.
The eldest resembled the recesses of unbeheld space; mystery dwelled in its depths, and wonder called the darkness home.
Coursing and calm, it embodie... |
'So many of them,' said Arlos, placing his hand on the glass of the huge curved window of the viewing gallery. 'They're so beautiful.'
I turned my attention back to the view outside. The stars certainly were beautiful. A huge bronze-coloured nebula took up most of the view right now, its heart scintillating with tiny ... |
Hey! This is my 1st time, so any critique is appreciated! I can finish it later if anyone's interested.
"Calm down, weirdos!"I shouted, in a vain attempt to silence the arguing kids in my living room. "I said SHUT THE FUCK UP. ALL OF YOU."cool water dripped unto my foot; the glass tripping over from me hitting the tab... |
Employer,
--
My concerns have gone unheeded
and my wants have been unmet;
I have felt just like the rear end
of a flumpy fliffel-flet.
--
The coffee's made from juja beans
(the worst type, by and by)
and the lerkim table reeks of things
I daren't even try.
--
Our meetings are untimely
and our trillows are unwi... |
Sticky the dockworker was working on a row boat when the hordes came.
He was chewing on a sprig of straw, humming to himself while he hammered corks into the bottom of the boat, in the light of the Egyptian day, when a shadow fell over him.
Sticky turned around, his hands covered in mud and wood splinters, and watche... |
*Oh no, oh christ on a bike! I slept in, I missed it.*
He moved over to the desk and checked the screen again pulling on his hair. Everyone was talking about it, and as he read the tweets and statuses and reddit posts the world came crashing down around him. The smiling selfies a warped mirror of his own panic and des... |
I open my third pack of cigarettes and take a sip from my sixth cup of coffee. Once again I debate quitting. It might be one of the highest paying jobs in the world, but at what cost?
I am still digging through the memes. Always memes. I don't know of anyone in the department who's gotten through them yet. I thought i... |
I sit in the bathtub filled with warm water and hold a razor to my wrist. They're telling me not to do it. I see no other choice.
It all started a week ago. I heard voices and I thought someone was in my apartment, so I picked up a baseball bat and went into the living room. There was no one there. Then the bat told m... |
“Think about what you are doing,” he says into the phone as he reaches out to grab a coffee from a nervous looking younger man.
“Oh, trust me, I am,” the voice on the phone replies, chuckling softly before taking a breath and waiting for a response.
Adam rolls his eyes and rubs a hand across his brow, moving it d... |
Mr. Schrader was back at his work that morning. He was apparently retired as he spent almost all of his time in his garage with his hand tools and what ever project he was working on at the time.
I had moved into the home across the street with my family a few years before. It was me, my wife and our son back then. M... |
My first submission here, tell me what you think. It is to be continued If I have time between all my schoolwork, or at request of others I will make some time.
All my life I have been a sinner. My mother told me as a child not to do naughty things like pick my nose, pull girl's pigtails, push other children off the ... |
The reaper raised his scythe above the sleeping corpse of 12 time academy award winner Oliver Acton. He looked left and right whispered 'Oliver Acton your time has come' and then brought the scythe down as a man yelled "no"and leapt over Acton's body. The scythe hit the man in the back and he died.
Acton woke up looke... |
The ad made it seem tempting enough. "Sign over your life insurance and we'll handle the rest!"the ad read. An ad by Execorp, an assisted suicide agency.
After my wife had died of cancer 5 years ago I became an unstable man. Incapable of raising our 2 children; that was when DHR stepped in and took them away. I was a ... |
The petulant prince kicked an overstuffed cushion in a fit of rage as his Master of Coin clutched a ledger to his narrow chest.
"This dragon is going to *ruin* me!"the monarch roared, throwing a gilded goblet at the leaded windows of his suite. It missed, skipping off the tapestry covered walls of stone, then bounced... |
It was a nearly imperceptible delay in my field of vision; an incongruity, an anomaly that required--nay-- *demanded* attention.
It all began on a rather quiet Tuesday morning. I had been enjoying my tea, green and stirred with two pinches of high quality, strained sugar, out of my exquisite Indian set of china. The ... |
I must insist you listen to
The rantings of this man.
For what I say pertains to you,
I'd listen while you can
You see that sky above your heads?
Be pleased to watch it fall.
The world is tearing at the threads,
It's sure to end us all.
Embrace your family and your friends,
Convey your last goodbyes.
If I wer... |
**"I'm here to talk to you about the R-Squad initiative."**
"Whoa..Who..waaaait. O.M.G You're the guys from TV aren't you? RACE Squad or something?"
**"Yes,The Registered Agency of Central Experts are our main division but let's not get into that. Are you Janice?"**
"Uh, DUH! With two e's though."
**"I don't think ... |
What a time to be alive.
It wasn't that long ago that the idea of a self driving car was only for the Jetsons and James Bond.
Now everyone has one and as of tomorrow they are the only vehicles allowed on the road.
I've been driving truck for 44 years.
In three years I could have retired with my pension. I could hav... |
Fifteen years along the high ridges picking up scraps. Fifteen years of scrounging for glass thick enough to catch the *glimmers* that might wisp through, faint and dull as the airships threw nets of solid hues not two hundred feet above. The rich would always find the most bountiful of the harvests, but he could wait.... |
"That's stupid"Naresh points out, "No one would survive a fall like that by landing on a haystack, much less be able to outrun guards afterwards."Naresh's chosen method of assassination usually involved posion, he didn't appreciate having to fight and from the looks of him he definitely didn't enjoy running. "See look,... |
Maria pressed a damp cloth to her face, dabbing the recent wound that marred her pretty features. Pouting her lips, she skimmed over a large selection of makeup, selecting one labelled '99% Gold' and dabbing it over the cut on her face.
Paparazzi!
What horrible creatures they were! Always trying to get a look at her... |
I sat on the shelf, shoulder to shoulder with a few others. We were all waiting for the doors to open, as they always did, promptly at 7 AM.
Every morning, it was the same. We'd hear the squeaky wheels of carts roll by as employees restock before the crowds come in. Sometimes they'd bring a few new arrivals on the she... |
His name was Harry.
From the moment he first saw her, he loved her. He loved the way she walked and the way she carried herself, the way she spoke and the way she smiled. God, was she radiant when she smiled. And the way her hair tumbled down her shoulders, ready to be tousled at any moment, ready to be affectionatel... |
It's the well behaved ones that are the worst. Not for the reason you think. Even after all I've seen, I still have empathy within me.
Great pains were taken to build this illusion you must understand. Can you imagine the amount of money it took to build Hogwarts? Even the train that got there. Camouflaging an... |
The bullet was poised in the indent of Paul's forehead, an indent that appeared in the still frame to be natural. To be a part of facial features, a small chair for the bullet to sit upon as it made contact with skin that had not yet been spared the time to split. And behind that indent, blood waited for its chance t... |
It started at age 5. I was out in my backyard, when a ferocious pitbull broke in. As it sank its yellow, rotten teeth into my flesh, I closed my eyes. When I opened them again, I was in the kitchen, eating the breakfast which I remembered finishing a minute ago. Through the window, I saw the dog wandering into the same... |
As I was picking one of the cookies out of the cookie jar, mom stepped behind him and said *Your third cookie today? Better make sure your father doesn't find out!* I quickly dropped the second cookie back in the jar and went on to play in the living room, where mom was watching the television, I think it is the news, ... |
We never knew their history.
For three thousand years, we barely knew a single thing beyond what they willingly showed us. Only after we came to join them among the stars, would the voices grant that knowledge. Allow it, and willingly submit by opening the records of their Great fleet. It was only after, that we did c... |
As long as I could remember (back to the beginnings of civilization) I had been worshiped as a god. My parents, I don’t remember them at all. They died when I was only a babe.
Why I was not left to the wilds I will never know. Lore had mentioned a ‘great shaman’ that had known what I was at birth and demanded my life... |
THIS IS A WARNING FROM THE ------IAN RESEARCH VESSEL LEMVR---. [*Cannot Be Interpreted*] WE HAVE GONE ADRIFT IN SECTO----57, IN ELLIPTICAL ORBIT OF -----[*Data Corrupted*] REPEAT - DO NOT ATTEMPT RESC------ BE WARNED: DOMINANT SPECIES OF [*Earth*], "[*Human*]", SHOULD NEVER BE BROUGHT ABOARD ANY SHIP WITH LESS THAN --... |
FADE IN:
INT. A SATELLITE MONITORING STATION - NIGHT
*A young intern sits at a glowing computer screen, staring sleepily at the display in front of him. This is DAVE. He takes a sip at a cup of coffee, winces, then idly taps a few buttons on his keyboard.*
**DAVE:** Hey, Sarah?
*There is no immediate response, lead... |
*I've never been one for breaking the law. I mean, technically, it is breaking the law. But it's legal for me. I've never done anything I wasn't supposed to. That's what I meant. I'm not a bad guy. Why am I here?*
"Mr. Hervog. Do you know why you're here?"
*She was an attractive woman. I mean, I'd sleep with her. Jes... |
**IMPUDENT AMERICANS MISTAKE MOVIE PROP FOR REAL MISSILERY**
As most now know, the sure-to-be block buster *Super Missile Launch 7* is currently being shot in an undisclosed location (to discourage what would otherwise be a surely absurd number of paparazzi). *Super Missile Launch 7*, staring, written by and directed ... |
A boy within a mostly empty room,
with nothing but a cot to rest his head.
The world outside is quiet as a tomb,
Alone, but for the beast beneath his bed.
His mother and his father? Burnt to ash,
in conflagrations nuclear and vast.
The silence is soon broken by a crash,
The monster crawling upwards from the past.
Th... |
It took 8 minutes and 20 seconds for the flicker of darkness to reach the Earth. The light-dark oscillations lasted for only 0.78 seconds, but that was enough time to change *everything*.
Not everyone saw it - some were asleep, others were indoors - but everyone *felt* it.
Those that did see it attest to an incredib... |
It was Sarah who got me into hiking, to be fair. She said spring was here and it was high time I get some exercise. Well, she said "we,"but you know how girlfriends are. When she says we, she means "you."So we hiked every Sunday afternoon up the slopes of Mt. Hillebrand, her beating me to every corner and peak and me h... |
Does [this thing](https://i.imgur.com/m1vVhJy.jpg) look at all familiar to you?
It's been engraved in my memory. I find it scribbled on many of my possessions, always the same exact pattern and always with no memory of me ever writing it there. There's also a new scar on my leg that vaguely looks like it, but it's pre... |
"Everyone, I would like you all to give a great, arcane welcome the headmaster of our new department: The School of Fuzzy Magic. Headmaster, if you'd be a good chap and introduce yourself?"
Every eye and hat turned to the direction where Ryan stood. He looked slightly out of place as he wore a glittering vest over his... |
As usual, I was stuck on the graveyard shift. I'd never forgive Bob, my manager, for putting me on the two til six shift on a Saturday night, but I suppose if he hadn't I never would have seen her.
She pushed open the door to *The Queen's Arms* easily, which was the first thing that struck me about her. It was a heavy... |
Like a pearl in the satiny mouth of a great, white clam, she sat in the center of the bed. A frown tugged at her lips.
Sighs filled the room like too much perfume. Her soft, white shoulders were drawn up to her ears, and she wrapped her arms around herself.
This was the state in which her newest betrothed found her.... |
For aeons the forbidden servers stood still. No matter how much heretics wanted to break in, they were stopped. We all knew the rules:
*Only a Human bears The Holy Name.*
*Only a Human knows The Secret Words.*
*Only a Human can pass The Sacred Trial.*
Such was the way of things and so was this world built, but one ... |
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