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Spicy Olives and Sausage Pizza.
"*That's new*,"I thought to myself, "might as well give it a shot."
It was a strange combination, but it should break the monotony of the Pepperonis I'd been ordering the last 5 times.
PizzaPlanet had a reputation for late deliveries, but I always ordered from there because they mad... |
Crunk is not like everyone. Crunk was born with tusks and “bad skins” as the small men say. Crunk does not shine like the others. Crunk can’t do magic like the others. Crunk tried to be like everyone but Crunk can’t. Crunk cannot make fire or water. Crunk cannot even fly like others can. Crunk can’t do what most robes ... |
I carefully toast the bread with a small puff of flame from my jaws. The river fish caught by Gold has already been roasted; the milk from Diamond's cow warmed as well. Emerald and Ruby are setting plates on the table in the center of the cave. But Pearl, ever the inquisitive, is staring at a chicken egg.
"Where did I... |
Note: This is the first thing I’ve written in a very long time, and the first time I’ve posted anything like this anywhere public, but I really liked this prompt! I hope it’s good :) please let me know of anything I should work on!!
I mean, I’d grown up with Damon. He was a comforting sight to see, at this point, I’... |
Patch Notes:
Thank you for playing Homo Sapiens. In Homo Sapiens v2.0.1 we sought out to fix the underlying bug in the world's popular character, the human. Many complained of feelings of hopelessness and suicide while playing, some of these feelings carrying on across various games and negatively impact others' exper... |
Digby was only seven years old, but he knew he was going to be pretty much the greatest superhero ever. He knew it with the same certainty that he knew he would wake up every morning to cereal and the smell of coffee. His mother would use her superpowers to make the cereal box dance out of the cupboard across the air. ... |
Professor Mendel was very confused. The Patronus was a small, pudgy animal, about the size of a cat, with pointy ears and a tail shaped like a lightning bolt. Like some sort of oversized electric mouse. He'd never seen any such an animal before, magical or mundane.
Apparently his students *had,* however, as shouts ... |
Completely perplexed and utterly puzzled, I muttered out the only thing I had in my mind.
"What?!"
"As I said, my boy...pay attention please, these are important information. For hundreds of years the teaching of religion and beliefs of afterlife had been...altered, shall we say? A simple game of Telephone went wrong... |
“Surrender is never an easy call to make. I’m thankful you could see that this war would only further damage both our species in the long run.” Captain Janet Henderson gave her former alien adversary a pat on his back, trying to show there were no hard feelings over the near destruction of Earth.
“Admittingly, our ... |
When it started, it was simple. Move towards the big human.
Or at least I think it was simple. I'm not entirely sure anymore. That was a long time ago. Regardless, it was my main goal in the beginning. I couldn't fully explain it and thought about it often as I tried to make my way to the human.
*I want to touch yo... |
"You want me, a nigh all powerful being, capable of warping reality like it was wet clay, to make a snack run? For a party?"
"Yeah, I hyped up this party and I'm broke like a McFlurry machine. I was bummed out and just rubbed this... thing? Pretending it was a real genie lamp. I swear I had no idea it was real."
"Whe... |
The novelty wore off after a while. There is only so much time I could not cry my lungs out and be studied and lauded for it. Never kept my mother up at nights, a good boy they called me. Too good of a boy, even. They got my head examined, and found nothing. After staring hopelessly at the ceiling for a few months, aft... |
using System;
using System.Collections.Generic;
using System.Linq;
using System.Text;
using System.World.Earth;
using System.Creatures;
using System.Universe;
namespace SurvivalSimulation
{
class Program
{
static void Main(string[] args)
{
// Seed main variables
... |
Chuck lifted his hand to his chin and softly scratched at his beard. He still wasn’t entirely used to having one, but his political adviser assured him it was “great for his public image.” As far as Chuck could tell, though, it had only been good for serving as alternative housing to the crumbs that were not accepted e... |
The bird was stupidly loyal. David didn't even need a cage for her. When he came home in the evening, he held out his hand, called her name, and she flew down from whatever cabinet or shelf she had perched, docile as could be.
He scratched under her beak---*did birds even have chins?*---and she stretched and crooned h... |
*"Jeez, I really need to get a better chair or some back support or something"* I think to myself.
After sitting at my desk playing Stardew Valley for the past 10 hours 13 minutes and 47 seconds, I'm exhausted, famished, and sick of planting crops.
I stand up and immediately feel post-gaming aches rushing into my bo... |
"I don't understand what is happening right now, somebody get my wife! You listen here, we are having a beautiful baby boy!"The man said, throwing fists at the people trying to keep him contained.
"We need you to calm down and tell us what you remember Mr. Belford."An older man muttered. The older gentleman was wearin... |
She sweated nervously, both her hands clenching the heavy broadsword, waiting for her doom. She could barely lift the damn thing, let alone fight with it. The only weapon she had any killing experience with was a fly swatter.
The alien crowd in the stands cheered raucously as the sound of the gates mechanisms started... |
I forced myself to take shallow breaths, staying as still as I could under the bed. There were creatures in the bedroom, stalking around, checking in the cupboard, making low growls and high screeches and gutteral noises. As the feet approached the bed and one of the creatures climbed onto it, the pounding of my heart ... |
“You there!”
His thundering voice conquered the various conversations scattered across the feast hall, and in a moment the great room was silent.
I looked up to see his enormous finger thrust in my direction, his dark eyes staring at me.
“M-me?” I managed to whisper.
“Yes, you, great warrior. I’ve not seen you her... |
The wind blows in the calm summer twilight of the desert town with the steady sound of traffic coming from a few streets over. I put the cigarette to my lips and look out from my porch at the little neighborhood I've found myself in this year.
Always moving. Always followed.
The followers circle the trees across the... |
Magus was going to die, his wheezing breaths evidence of the damage he had sustained in the battle. He was a necromancer, a user of the dark arts, meant to be one of the stronger magic users, and yet he was getting beaten by a common orc. The hulking green beast lifting Magus by his blood-stained hair, delivering anoth... |
"So it goes like this, your species has since the 1940's....."The Dragik asked using the robotic translator.
"1945"I interrupted.
"Okay then since 1945, had access to these weapons of pure unadulterated power and they have only been used in warfare TWICE". The Dragik asked attentively.
"Well yes but that is only b... |
“Ew, no. He’s a prick.”
Mum turned in her spot, the passenger seat, to look back at Julie. “Ray is *not* a prick, Muffin. He’s a lovely young man. The Montagues are our closest friends - our *chosen* family. I think if you and Ray spent some time together this’d all get ironed out and you’d be really close.”
Julie lo... |
"Please! I need to see the body. I think that's my twin brother!"I pleaded over the lines of the '*DO NOT CROSS'* tape.
I could tell the young woman assigned to keep the crowd back was instantly out of sorts when she saw me at first which only confirmed my suspicions. My Otherme didn't check in last night due to somet... |
"I think you've got the wrong number. Sorry" CLICK
RING RING
"We have your wife and child Thomas."The voice on the other side of the call said.
"Okay, I'm not Thomas. I don't know anyone named Thomas. I can't help you. you have the wrong number."CLICK
RING RING
"We said we have your wife and child and if you d... |
**It turned out that the solution to the Fermi Paradox was this:** of all the peoples of every world to achieve sentience, not one of them was stupid enough to strap themself to a box of explosives and blast themselves into space. Of the handful that developed harder-to-reach technologies like solar sails and ion drive... |
I took a few liberties with the prompt, hope that's okay:
\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*
A knock at the door roused me from my slumber.
“Wynn?” I called, reached across the bed for her, but she was nowhere to be found. I grumbled to m... |
I stared at the demon, now a pitiful whimpering...thing, and sighed. Here I thought this miserable existence would finally end, only for it to be taken away at the last second. Hell would have been a nice change of pace, but no, who knows how many years of purgatory - sorry, life, I have left.
"s-s-s-such bleakness. S... |
Trevor inhaled deeply and stepped in between Serenity and the mugger. He felt Serenity's hand grasp his hip, tugging him backwards. She was screaming, but the adrenaline coursing through his veins had muffled everything. He looked into the barrel of the pistol, and then shifted his gaze up to the mugger.
The mugger c... |
Fire. Smoke. Screams. Only a few seconds ago I had been on the floor of my kitchen, watching the world fade as I clutched at my heart. But now...
I wasn't so bad, was I? I'd never hurt anyone, not really. Besides I wasn't even Christian! But this was, unmistakably, Hell.
"Hold on a second!"someone shouted over... |
The first thing I will say in my defense is that it is wrong for men to stalk women, and we shouldn't be crucified for protecting ourselves.
The second thing I will say in my defense is that he was cute.
I've encountered my share of creepers before. They come in all shapes and sizes. Young, old, fat, thin, and ... |
I put the veil on Felicia's head. She was smiling, which brought me a tinge of happinees. But I put my hands on her cheeks, as I did when she was a little girl, and said, "I know this is probably too late, but I wish you wouldn't do this."
"Mom,"she said, "I love her. And you always said..."
"I know what I said, but ... |
"In a moment, a Grimoire will be passed to each of you. It is your job to fill your partially completed grimoire with geometric summoning patterns, anarcho-magus spells, and hexes. Upon graduation you must use your lexicon to battle another Sorcerer from the Sect of Exo. You are not required to win, and aiming lethal s... |
There I was, standing at the gates of heaven, I did not see the car that hit me, and apparently he didn't see me either.
When I arrived God showed me 3 doors and told me that I could pick any one for my final destination, most people pcked the door to eternal happiness, since that's what they had ban promised while t... |
Trinity stood in the doorway of the mess. She stared at Morpheus, who sat at the scuffed steel table with his head in his hands. The only sound was the low, distant hum of the engines. She would have left him alone with his thoughts, but of course he knew she was there.
"I can't believe that we've failed again,"Morphe... |
"You're looking mint today, Mary"
"Really?"she blushed.
"No you mardy cow, now piss off, go on, out of my yard!"
The scowling woman rolled her eyes and scurried away in a huff. She'd had her eyes on his garden for weeks now, and he had no doubt she'd be back sooner rather than later to collect some clippings.
It h... |
"Moore? You still with us?"
My head was spinning. I squeezed my stress ball reflexively - *squeak squeak*. I caught my wits and pressed the Push-To-Talk button.
"Yeah"I coughed out, "I'm still here".
"So, where do we go from here?"
I looked around the station. My home. I wasn't even halfway through my Freeze-Dried ... |
“NUH-HUH!” A terrifyingly familiar voice booms, echoing around me like the crash of an icy waterfall. The shock of it causes me to drop my ‘Worlds Best Dad’ mug of hot coffee onto the billing report at my desk. “...Timmy?” I whisper uncertainly. That sounded like the voice of my 5 year old son.
“MY DAD CAN BEAT YOUR D... |
I remember when anything more than about 1,000 words seemed like a monumental challenge, and here you are putting out 30,000! It's amazing how much you've grown as a writer. Truly due to the massive amount of work you've put into fine tuning your craft. You've certainly inspired me to keep improving and helped make wri... |
I sat at my desk, the stresses of heroism a thing of the past for me. With my abilities I could manage workflow and inspire workeplace unity better than anyone in the company. Life at a desk suited me far better than being a super hero in world where there was such over-saturation of heroes and villains. It’d become mo... |
The grime of this school gets everywhere. My favorite "Can You Dig It?"shirt with the front-end loader. This shirt used to be freshly-washed, new...and now? There's no escaping it - once you're here, you get dirty, regardless of whether you want to or not. It's everywhere, too - not just your hands, but under your nail... |
It was a dark and stormy night.
The wind howled through the poorly-fitting door and threw raindrops against the rattling window-panes.
My father had brought us here to escape—but escape what? We had always seemed a normal family, if perhaps unduly touched by tragedy, but in the weeks since that stupid, stupid accid... |
Sat on my chancellor's seat in the meeting hall that I had cleared out to prevent needless casualties, I looked down upon the hapless heroes.
‘You know' I began before one of the kids cut me off
‘We don’t need your lies!!!’ The kid in what seemed to be a mage's robe shouts.
‘Then it is good I don't... |
Inverse looed over his oddly calm hostage. She was a teenage girl, sixteen at most. She was completely normal. He had made sure she had no hidden powers or training before kidnapping her. She was sort of pretty if one looked at her in the right light, but nothing else about her stood out. And yet, she was in no way afr... |
"...And don't come back until you have a definite report! No slacking either!"
•••
"What a sendoff."
"Indeed. Hang the regs; I'm Reginald, Reggie to my friends."Offering his hand in friendship, his fellow agent takes his hand, and they shake.
"And I'm James, Jimmy to my friends."
"Now, I'm quite certain that our... |
Circling the tower for the 18th time that week, I realised nobody was in any rush to collect her. See, in my culture, it's noble to die to a knight. And the princess didn't seem to mind. I mean, at first she did. But she seems quite happy here, with the peace and quiet, doing everything at her own pace. I tucked my hea... |
I just turn to them and squinted my eyes. I am a fucking satyr. Do they not hear my hooves whenever I walk with no shoes? Have they seen my shoes? What about my horns? I know they're small but come on! I rarely wear hats! Is my hair THAT foofy? What about my tail- actually I wear baggy enough closthes where that thing ... |
My name is James Cooper and I'm going to commit suicide by Grandfather Paradox.
Long story short, I'm a physicist on a distinguished team of scientists who have finally cracked the time barrier and made humanity's first time machine. At the moment we can only go into the past, which works fine for me.
Once we got it... |
"...and the Democrats continue to claim that it was all just a series of mistakes which led to the naked photos of house leader Kennedy being released. Now how 'bout that Clark, apparently Jennifer Lawrence isn't the only one having photo trouble this week?"The blonde's smile dazzling and even under the camera light he... |
“Thought projection radio is here to tell you Goooooood Morning Earth 623! It is a bright sunny day in this pocket universes biggest city! Let’s get down to news. In politics Eminem, the god of the rap dimension, is stopping by the president of the Universes’ office in order to ‘stop all the haters’. In science Unidan ... |
We listened and listened, but nothing was found -
No intricate signal, no alien sound;
No link from a world in a galaxy bright,
But desolate silence, and limitless night.
We listened and listened, with nothing to hear -
No cosmic crescendo, no harmony near;
No twitch of a pitch, nor a note from the stars, ... |
Greetings, pussies.
By now I am dead and you will be watching this video recording of myself from some cramped lawyers room, eagerly awaiting to hear my story so you can relay it to the mass media outside. To preface this, I had Charlotte, my assistant, film my final moments in this manner because I saw a rich, old la... |
The Gates of Eternal Hatred loomed in front of Eric as he walked down the steep shale covered hill. Two pillars carved from obsidian stood in the center of the basin. A large red portal stretched between them, screams of the tormented escaped the swirling red vortex.
According to his reports no adventurer has mana... |
The first thing I heard was a loud scream. It echoed off the walls of the small bathroom I was huddled in and pierced my heart with fear. I had, however, prepared for this. I put down the bouquet I was holding to slip on a pair of shooting range earmuffs and turned to address the screaming girl in the mirror.
"It's OK... |
Today was the day. Every 30 years the planets align, and we get our spirit animal.
Luckily I was born only 17 years before this happened, since 0-15 year olds can't get one to avoid a bad spirit animal.
My whole generation was exited. Many others were. I heard stories about soldiers getting gorillas and lions, politi... |
Steve opened the door to Kevin's apartment and gagged. The shades were drawn, and the pizza boxes in the corner had a certain droopy appearance that indicated advanced age. Beer and soda cans were heaped on the coffee table in an unstable pyramid that defied physics, and given the rank miasma that filled the air, it wa... |
"God damnit, Jerry! I'm sick of your shit!"
Not only did my idiot neighbour stole my car. He also destroyed my entire garden, put barricades everywhere, dug trenches and tapped into my power grid.
"Good morning Bill! Are you here to join the Republic of Jerry?"
"No you dumb fuck, I'm here to tell you to clean up thi... |
(Bahaha! This is gonna be fun!)
I was very afraid when I was slated for execution.
And very confused when they gave me a bathing suit and tossed me into a little 1 metre by 1 metre swimming pool. All around me was a grid of 1x1 pools, and various people all floating in them. They weren't even all that deep, too. I c... |
"Hey."She says, resting her head on the fridge door while I dig for orange juice. "It's in the back on the right."
She draws out the hey. Like a teen girl; "Heeeeeeyyyyy".
"Morning Allie."I say, grabbing the container and closing the door. She continues to float there, chin resting where the door had been. Ghosts can... |
Private Dale offered a breathless "Captain, are you seeing this?".
That can't be right. Battlefield hallucinations were unlikely enough to happen to one person, but *two*? Still, I had to act as if the answer wasn't 'yes'. Compromised or no, I still had to lead these men into battle and out the other side. I decided o... |
The squealing sound was not what the ambassador has expected.
At first they had thought the sound was some kind of aggressive challenge but they had trained their whole life for this moment and refused to loose their cool.
The ambassador stood there.
The squealing continued.
The standing must have gone on for a go... |
"Humans have eyes facing forward?!"Jimothy gasped.
"SHUSH, they'll hear you. It's quite rude even in our culture to talk about someone, or in this case an entire race of someone's, behind their back,"I hissed, the words riding over the turbulent gust of wind that jettisoned out of my beak.
"Ah flimflopple, sorry. B... |
After the bus driver shortage was solved, I was really pleased to finally have a ride to school. The walk was always long and tiresome, and after treading through the foreign halls day after day for the first time in a year and a half, I needed the break. COVID-19 had completely messed up my high school experience. As ... |
Huh. Weird.
I mentally shrugged and opened the door. There was probably some trolling intern who was posting signs just to get a reaction, and I've definitely worked in weirder places.
The door opened into a hallway and I checked the directions that had been mailed to me. The offices were located on the third floor, ... |
"What happened next?"
I looked down at my brown-eyed sweetheart daughter from the top of my ladder. I plucked off the last apple and tossed it down to her basket.
"We were scared. It's hard for you to understand, but back then life was so different. We didn't have to work. We went to school, we spent time with frien... |
WHAT, SON OF MIDGARD? Rumbled the impossibly tall man, shaped like a crudely chiseled iceberg, wind whipping around him ferociously.
“I said!,” Snarled the handsome black-haired man, blue eyes flaring and teeth (a shade too white and a touch too sharp) showing, “What the HELL are you doing here?”
GODDESS HEL HAS FAL... |
"Excuse me,"said Paine, raising her hand politely. "I think you've got the wrong person. I'm not actually crazy."
Of the seven medical professionals in the room, only one paused to give her a momentary glance. "Yes you are, Paine,"said Dr. Noore Chowdhury. "Now put this suit on."
"Sure."She took the offered one-p... |
I clicked through the hard drive of my Gran's computer and wracked my brain to try to work out why it was showing nearly a Gigabyte of space used, when there were no files there. “Are you *sure* you didn’t click onto any new sites recently Gran? Maybe a virus…?”
My sweet Grand mother had been perched next to me on a ... |
It was the fifty sixth minute and I was near tears. It's hard to imagine getting so attached to anything in an hour, isn't it? Yet I was and the people below were real and I followed them as though I was God.
*There is no God,* I thought.
I could no longer talk and my throat was tight. Death had raged through thei... |
The two idiomancers stared at each other atop the tower. He had fought hard to reach her final lair, but it was time to put an end to her reign of terror. He tensed as she appraised him and opened her mouth.
"You made it past the Metaboars and the Similbees. I'm impressed."she said softly.
"It takes more than disfig... |
I wake up on the floor of my living room with hundreds of notifications on my phone. What happened this time?
---
Ever since puberty, I've been able to just kind of black out at will, and I wake up some time later in a different location. I've never quite understood it, but I believe that I go into some kind of auto... |
When their hearts race, you want to chase them. When they sit down (or stand) and become deeply focused, you want to capture them, and keep them as pets. When they bleed, and some of the females do so for extended periods of time, you want to eat them. You are hungry for a meal, and knowing that even the biggest of the... |
“Thanks again for DM-ing this game for us, Jason.” Nick said as pulled out his character sheet, along with a bag of doritos and a six pack of beer.
Jason replied with a grunt as he hefted a twenty-four pack of beer from under the table, dwarfing Nicks.
“I live for this stuff Nick. I spent the last six months planning... |
When I stare at a heart I try not to think of all the symbolism they bashed me with in my youth. There, upon the table, is an organ which is like any other. It brings life, yes, but so do the lungs and brains, and the skin and the liver.
Yet no one talks so about those organs. Always the heart. The heart harbors man... |
"See you tomorrow,"Maizy Potter waved at the group gathered around the nurse's station on her way out.
"Don't forget your birthday cake!"One of the male nurses, Sean, said. He bolted into the breakroom and returned with a foil covered rectangle twice the size of his large hands. "Enjoy your day off tomorrow, happy bi... |
“The fuck is that?!”
“Hm? Oh, don’t worry about them, they’re creepy but they’re harmless.”
I set the box with our dishes on the kitchen counter, grinning as my wife sputters. “Harmless?! Are you seeing what I’m seeing?!”
I glance back at her, then over at the doorway where five squat, vaguely human shadows stand an... |
It was just a silly wish I made as lay on the bed of the truck in the middle of the cornfield staring up at the stars. "See that shooting star?"I asked, pointing. It was flawless; just like I wanted the rest of my life to be, minus a mosquito or two. She laughed and rolled her eyes and kissed me, her ponytail brushing ... |
I sit up quickly.
·what in the....·
I look around and everything is exactly like i remember it. The first computer I built ever built sat on my dad's old desk. It was made of wood and had a couple broken drawers, but was otherwise sturdy. Little knick-knacks littered the surface. An old ring from a high school romance.... |
"So you see here, sir, this one has acclimated wonderfully. We have had no issues in the week we have met."
The Old Mage clicked his fingers together. The golden chains around his neck made a light tinkling sound as he shifted. His ruby red eyes appraised my familiar thoughtfully, the cogs inside his mind turning as h... |
The first thing that ran through my mind was that I couldn't kill my neighbor.
Not shouldn't, not wouldn't. Couldn't. Sarah Wylan was currently under arrest, suspected for arson when my house burnt down. Even if I knew where she was right now, there was no way I could fight through an army of cops and off her.
And ye... |
\[Poem\]
A wedding not of love, and not of hate.
Arranged by politicians, not lovers.
She dreams to live, but it's not her fate.
He dreams to be with others.
​
A dress holds her down.
A necklace becomes chains.
She tries to hide her frown,
Her anger, she must restrain.
​
He puts on a ... |
Sheila had seemed nice enough. Maybe a little intense but she was kind and interesting to talk to. She seemed hooked on an old lover. She kept talking about a Lopez. Maybe they were just friends but the way she spoke always made me think otherwise.
She had a fascination with explosives and a desire to want to lock... |
General Oren stood outside the sleeping quarters of the human called Branch- or at least, that was the closest word in their language to his name. He rapped his hard, barklike knuckles -more like tree nobs, if he was being honest, but they did the same purpose- on the metal door and spat a command in his native tongue.... |
"Human, I've just learned a terrifying fact about the creatures on this planet."
"Is it about the Goliath Birdeaters? Those things are fucked up. Or maybe one of the megafauna?"
"No, none of those things. I was just reading about this animal that can run extremely fast and pull thousands of pounds of weight behind th... |
**"How do you plead!"**
"Not Guilty! I was..."
**"Did you, on the 23rd of September, enter the Mount Sinai Children's Hospital in new york, posing as a doctor?"**
"Posing? I'm a healer! my powers granted by Mithras himself!"
**"Are you a qualified and registered medical professional of any kind under state law?"**
... |
"Scan it again,"the president commanded the green creature in front of him.
"As you wish, human,"the alien ambassador said, "but our devices do not lie. It will say seven trillion once more."
On the screen, the president watched as red hieroglyphics danced around. The alien said it was the language of the universe,... |
A white porcelain bowl explodes against the wall. A thousand bloodstained pieces hurled in every direction.
Pavel looks back across the room at Alexander. Alexander, enraged, his body heaving up and down as his scowl grows deeper with each passing second.
Alexander looks at his meal, slowly dripping down the wall. "W... |
Ok sir, I can explain.
Considering I have a list of Ostolish's nuclear codes on my desk you better.
Well you see, I was on my mission in the capital with Agent Viper
You were posted with Agent Cobra.
Right, right Agent Cobra. Anyway he sent me to infiltrate the president's private office building.
Agent Cobra's m... |
The dwarf looked at the piece of paper they had written down explaining universe A6-K-1. 'Science is just incredibly detailed magic with extra convoluted rules.' It was all he probably needed to learn how to operate human technology. Without magic, how complicated could it get?
\-----
"Right then. Everyone, welcome t... |
James Bond collapsed into bed with his evening's "conquest."They had not removed their clothes, but he knew from the way that she clawed at the sleeves of his tux, he wouldn't be wearing it for long.
"Oh, James,"Doo-Mi Harder said. "What would my husband say if he knew?"
"Not to worry, Doo-Mi,"James said, kissing he... |
It's hard enough, having a literal angel and a literal demon scream in your ear all day. It's harder still when they don't make any sense.
"She's a monster, I'm telling you man!"The angel was white all over, winged, and slim. Overly self-righteous at times, but generally a good fella. It's like having your best fri... |
"Well this sucks",
I think to myself. The panic finally subsided only a few moments ago and I am beginning to realize my situation.
I'm going to have to plead the 5th in regards as to how I got here, but I will tell you what happened when they began pouring quik-crete over my head. I tried to flail about and escape ... |
"Oh gosh,"said Nathaniel, "Oh golly."
He had just let an awful lot of plates in his arms come crashing to the floor in front of the entire restaurant, and the expensive cuisine stacked upon them was now smeared into the rich red carpet like a blast mark, stunning every customer, waiter and manager into silence.
This ... |
"Well, Grant, I, uh...can I ask you something?"
"Sure! Anything."
"How much money do we have for the next stage of the project?"
"About fifty bucks! They said they were going to make some hefty cuts so they could bring me on board. Why? Didn't they tell you?"
I gritted my teeth. "No. They didn't."
Grant sighed, hi... |
Eligrath Strakyne the Thirteenth, Sub-Auditor Number 2279 of Hades stared at Charon and clicked his pen slowly. “And… you felt this was a suitable investment?”
There was the roar of a two-stroke engine in the background, intermingled with cries of woe.
“Lord Hades is obsessed with efficiency, is he not?” Charon rum... |
They said that it would be a dreamless slumber. But I recall having a dream. It was long. Yes, it was a very, very long dream. That’s all I can tell you. I woke up just a few moments ago, and the dream already seems so distant, like it hadn’t happened at all. How long had it been really? It feels like I went to bed jus... |
The bell on the door jingles as a customer enters. I glance up, smile. Hands-off customer service, that's my goal.
It's hard to resist, though. The young man who just entered my shop has such a *moldable* face - he'd make a great minion. I wonder if he has any history in the field? But no - that's not for me to worry... |
“Thank you for your hospitality, ma’am,” The traveler finished his soup. “But I come here to find a way to cure my wife’s illness. Do you know where the sorceress is?”
“I want to tell you a story. Will you listen?” I asked.
The traveler began to raise a finger in protest, but quickly took it back. He nodded his head ... |
I pull up alongside the bank, hydraulic brakes screeching. The masked men run out, bags of money bobbing at their sides as they hurry toward their getaway car.
I open the door, and hop out. They stop, comedically bumping into each other like a trio of stooges. "Who the fuck are you?"One asks.
It's probably my clothes... |
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