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Ankesh1234
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parkinson_data

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	I kind of knew something was wrong but could not put my finger on it.
	And you know it is evolved into the deep and rich understanding.
	The diagnosis was a massive shock.
	It's one of those big moments in your life.
	and you're not quite sure what it means.
	What was going on was that I had full blown Parkinson's running through my system.
	So many things were out of kilter and out of balance and out of whack.
	and you know the wheels were falling off.
	And Kate and I were fairly new into a relationship.
	we just had our first baby.
	So she was asking some tough questions I think.
	I go from being at peace to being very angry.
	and I'll cycle through that all the time.
	It's an eternal.
	Its an eternal, you're always wrestling with it,so you've got to just be with that.
	Parkinson's creeps up on you incrementally.
	One of the things I've had to do is adjust my driving.
	You can see my hand shakes.
	and I was having trouble with my right leg transferring it from the accelerator to the break.
	it just wasn't doing it in a timely manner shall we say.
	So what I've done is I use my left foot on the brake and my right foot on the accelerator.
	Hopefully not at the same time.
	And now I've made the transition and the neural pathways have realigned themselves.
	So it's my right side that is the weaker of the two.
	Ok you have a lovely day.
	There's a lot of pain in a person's, with Parkinson's, body.
	When people see me they just go something's not right.
	So if I don't deal with that quickly then they start filling in the gaps.
	I'm in a place where I can't really hide it so I don't.
	It won't affect anything I do and I'm not drunk or mad.
	because it keeps me very mentally alive.
	If I step away from this it will just be the right time for the right reasons.
	It's very rewarding working with clients and helping them establish their values and their vision.
	and then evolving their marketing and their brand.
	And that's in my bank.
	if I don't do that going forward it doesn't matter because I'll be doing something else.
	And I've got some ideas about that.
	but I'm not going to regret walking away from this career if I have to.
	I don't have a lot of proactive energy.
	We aren't growing the business at a rate that I feel is acceptable.
	It's a merciless disease.
	so I'm just working out what's next for me.
	because you know stress and fatigue aren't good for me.
	I might be holding him back so we're just talking about that.
	it's an ever moving conversation.
	It's an old person's disease.
	People get it at sixty-five.
	What we have underlying us if we didn't already have it before is a really profound friendship.
	Firstly, I would say you've got to have confidence to wear trousers like this.
	My mom was quite timid at this stage;
	but I have a really good excuse.
	Because last year, a woman who I don't know invited me to go on a three hundred ton boat with her for a week
	And I said yes.
	And I'm still alive,so my parents taught me a lot,
	they probably didn't teach me stranger danger
	But it was an incredible experience and one that I'm really proud of.
	And I think the thing that runs through these three examples
	where there are thousands more is blind faith in myself.
	Something that my parents have always had in me,
	it just took me that bit longer to find it in myself.
	you can tell by the very sweet expression on her face.
	you start saying to yourself what's the worst that can happen
	What's the worst that can happen
	I can get Parkinson's.
	Done that tick
	And it makes you think I can try some other things and see what happens
	And so my parents gave me this great basis to build on,of love and support,
	and actually, it being okay to fail, it not mattering at all,
	but it took Parkinson's to draw it out from me.
	And so I guess in a strange way I'm grateful to Parkinson's for doing that
	Because I never would have known the measure of myself.
	She was very timid,
	because I am the complete mix of my parents
	I'm going to end this speech in a way that shows confidence to me.
	As a girl with Parkinson's I am going to juggle
	And seriously what is the worst that can happen
	and my dad was a bit of a ham,a confident person that would go into any room and tell a story and command a stage.
	And I became a little bit of both of them.
	Confident in my own little way confident among my friends confident in situation I was comfortable in
	I was into drama in a big way
	you'd put me on a stage and I'd be confident
	but I'd come off as a little timid mouse afterwards.
	But they never pushed me to be anything more than that.
	My name is Emma
	They were always incredibly accepting of me and who I was and what I brought to the world,
	just as they were with each other.
	There were such different people
	and they looked at each other then they loved each other,
	and they loved me for being a mix of the two of them.
	And so I grew up in a situation feeling incredibly supportive,incredibly cared for
	and as if it was okay to be me.
	at this stage,I never really knew how important this would be for the rest of my life.
	And I carried on much in the same way
	until I became a small child all the way through to my teenage years right up until the end of my twentys,
	and four years ago, the age of twenty nine,I was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease.
	when my diagnosis of Parkinson's came it was a little bit of a shock
	I'm not going to lie to you.
	I'm not an older man, so I wasn't expecting it to be Parkinson's.
	And when you're diagnosed with something long-term,
	when you're diagnosed with anything,