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Have you noticed how all mutual fund ads always end with the gentleman with the husky voice saying the following lines
Shruthi Harikrishna
https://medium.com/the-haven/oops-i-did-it-again-a59be81788c7 | Oops!I did it again! | [
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If you work in a library, you work with book carts, so naturally you give them nicknames. You could call your faithful book cart Bumpy, Squeaky, Rusty or Tipsy. But
Roz Warren
https://medium.com/the-haven/orson-scott-cart-meet-louisa-may-alcart-top-twenty-nicknames-librarians-have-given-to-bookcarts-bd574222d364 | ORSON SCOTT CART, MEET LOUISA MAY ALCART: TOP TWENTY NICKNAMES LIBRARIANS HAVE GIVEN TO BOOKCARTS | [
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How to waste time by troubling telecallers.
Sravani Saha
https://medium.com/the-haven/p-as-in-pneumonia-62beb19bb77a | P as in Pneumonia | [
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Felons pardoned all the way back to Caesar assassination
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/pardon-storm-follows-tweet-storm-7e46ec19376 | Pardon Storm Follows Tweet Storm | [
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President needs good guys who break laws to make laws
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/pence-out-pruitt-in-b38a773df661 | Pence Out, Pruitt In | [
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Pence says child was queer and bunny saved family.
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/pence-pet-rabbit-savagely-attacks-child-e990eb177dc | Pence Pet rabbit Savagely Attacks Child | [
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Once upon a time, a few months ago, I decided to sport a flat cap that made friends and
Zach Watson
https://medium.com/the-haven/please-do-not-identify-me-by-my-flat-cap-d864f2d5ec | Please do not identify me by my flat cap | [
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I will hand buff its exterior with paste wax weekly, never mind the shoulder and rotator cuff pain I will
Greg Schwem
https://medium.com/the-haven/please-exit-my-lyft-vehicle-before-lifting-that-chalupa-ac9ce4ec4f6a | Do Not Lyft That Chalupa In My Car! | [
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White House cedes to native demands
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/pocahontas-tweets-her-anger-at-president-54abdf99beab | Pocahontas tweets her anger at President | [
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Evangelicals say, Its a little thing
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/porn-stars-and-playmates-expose-potus-48713d31f9bc | Porn Stars and Playmates Expose POTUS | [
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Several women have come forward in recent days to validate and sympathize with Stormy Daniels, who was accused of lying about a non-sexy, sex tryst with Trump. This week, facts were revealed that Trump did indeed, violate her in the
Christyl Rivers, Phd.
https://medium.com/the-haven/porn-stars-playmates-and-pageant-contestants-rate-trump-6491d286a1c2 | Porn Stars, Playmates And Pageant Contestants Rate Trump | [
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Posts Sexis of Evil Video in Tweet
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/potus-aims-big-guns-at-comey-9f17974a5b9e | POTUS Aims Big Guns at Comey | [
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GOP sandbags Democrats with surprise vote
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/potus-appoints-clone-justice-1eea65882567 | POTUS Appoints Clone Justice | [
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Loans Kennedy money that he borrowed from Justices son
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/potus-buys-scotus-seat-ef30af89c479 | POTUS Buys SCOTUS Seat | [
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Era of political correctness must end today
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/potus-endorses-pedophile-candidate-df0e3b1002c4 | POTUS Endorses Pedophile Candidate | [
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Picky distractions keep him from the real action
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/potus-furious-he-cant-see-olympics-live-22bc4c62561 | POTUS Furious He Cant See Olympics Live | [
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Tells Americans, I shit in your bed. You lie in it.
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/potus-hands-off-mess-to-nation-f5f928634b86 | POTUS Hands Off Mess to Nation | [
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Only learns after the fact that his football was a fake
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/potus-launches-200-nukes-on-n-korea-b6f689fda661 | POTUS launches 200 Nukes on N. Korea | [
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Shoots six CPAC members while he shows off gun
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/potus-never-glorify-violence-4a7c9d3c18d1 | POTUS: Never Glorify Violence | [
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Iranian citizen Obama opens doors to terrorist flood
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/potus-proves-birther-claims-af32df86cd5e | POTUS Proves Birther Claims | [
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Hell pay heaviest price ever in history of prices paid
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/potus-punishes-putin-for-syria-4f9852e4585d | POTUS punishes Putin for Syria | [
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California replies, Welcome Dreamers, you have a home
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/potus-says-hell-pull-ice-from-california-aafe817c396c | POTUS Says Hell Pull ICE from California | [
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President welcomed and promptly dismissed for violating rules
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/potus-secret-society-ties-revealed-769d300aa4c9 | POTUS Secret Society Ties Revealed | [
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As usual, the Eagles victory is all about him
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/potus-tax-plan-won-super-bowl-457e93e667ba | POTUS: Tax Plan Won Super Bowl | [
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Spurious slams on Testers spurious claims accelerate trend
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/potus-tirades-suck-oxygen-from-earth-a670d86eabed | POTUS Tirades Suck Oxygen From Earth | [
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s letter. (This trick is called burying the lede.)
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/potus-trashes-campaign-donor-1a2ab5d6c641 | POTUS Trashes Campaign Donor | [
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It is what you think it is.
Amal N Bansode
https://medium.com/the-haven/potuss-new-favorite-song-revealed-2ace4d16f774 | POTUS's New Favorite Song Revealed | [
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It is Tuesday
Percy Bharucha
https://medium.com/the-haven/ppt-in-bed-27d203ee9d4 | PPT in bed | [
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No more fools on allowed on Lords Day
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/president-amends-calendar-cfbc3278768f | President Amends Calendar | [
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Claims Slave owners were good people too
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/president-applauds-both-sides-of-slavery-5355cbb420f6 | President Applauds Both Sides of Slavery | [
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Jumps rails, plows through 12 states before crashing into
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/president-blames-fbi-for-florida-shootings-ffb94f66db06 | President Blames FBI for Florida Shootings | [
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Claims he was colluding covertly at former Presidents request
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/president-blames-obama-for-russia-probe-6df54e896676 | President Blames Obama for Russia Probe | [
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Tweets, A mans gotta blow off steam!
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/president-busted-with-barbies-82185ce94868 | President Busted With Barbies | [
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No more ambiguous messages on Lords Special Day
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/president-changes-christmas-colors-35ddca51a9a7 | President Changes Christmas Colors | [
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Hes replacing his wall with moat. Mexico still pays.
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/president-changes-mind-about-wall-9b0f62141836 | President changes mind about wall | [
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All of them during one conversation with Japanese Leader
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/president-charts-five-new-courses-9a9546ea7707 | President Charts Five New Courses | [
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Dreamers back on the trading table. Until they arent
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/president-dangles-daca-once-again-73b193061730 | President Dangles DACA Once Again | [
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Pushes aside short list and grabs cover by
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/president-declares-himself-times-man-of-the-century-5221a063516a | President Declares himself Times Man of the Century | [
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Considers his whatever I have for a soulmate for 2020 Ticket
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/president-dumps-first-lady-for-rosanne-579be0890330 | President dumps First Lady for Rosanne | [
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Hannity show premieres new Trumponomics series
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/president-explains-basic-economics-af36424ef67e | President explains basic economics | [
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History will teach us how to stop mass shootings
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/president-fight-guns-with-guns-65b0e009b129 | President: Fight Guns With Guns | [
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Challenges Tillerson with best IQ test results in
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/president-finally-delivers-a-promise-his-iq-ded43fa95f79 | President finally delivers a promise: His IQ | [
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Dreamers and Democrats get nothing. He wins.
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/president-forges-daca-compromise-9ac400527faa | President forges DACA compromise | [
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Insists hes more popular than college football
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/president-fumes-in-footballs-shadow-fe2b2d42c442 | President Fumes in Footballs Shadow | [
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Tells staff more heart-warming stories about me
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/president-furious-with-koreans-obama-tweet-a5ca946233e0 | President furious with Koreans Obama Tweet | [
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Get your rulers out boys, the battles on
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/president-launches-button-measuring-war-2c6600c84be5 | President Launches Button Measuring War | [
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Says women need to face the real threat to their bodies
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/president-launches-war-on-trade-abuse-bd44f9b6fbc3 | President Launches War on Trade Abuse | [
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Says bridge collapse proves shooting was Floridas fault
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/president-once-again-claims-heroism-d3bde5c0efdd | President Once Again Claims Heroism | [
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Will personally oversee women to make sure
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/president-promises-safe-games-for-olympic-athletes-a20cea356906 | President Promises Safe Games for Olympic Athletes | [
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Ill listen to Macrons concerns and then ignore him
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/president-promises-to-scuttle-treaties-ac7426870828 | President Promises to Scuttle Treaties | [
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Trumpcash backed by good as gold personal voucher
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/president-promotes-new-currency-b9823144314b | President Promotes New Currency | [
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Lays bare the medias dark, lying heart
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/president-publishes-tell-all-news-book-d5cb4a4b6c00 | President Publishes Tell All News Book | [
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General Mike Flynn Returns to Executive Staff
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/president-replaces-fbi-deputy-32478dec9075 | President Replaces FBI Deputy | [
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The first in my series of historical Presidents doing things Trump has done.
Mark Philip Lichtenstein
https://medium.com/the-haven/president-roosevelt-calls-adolph-hitler-fine-hes-fine-b9581773e004 | President Roosevelt Calls Adolph Hitler Fine | [
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Total recall of personal valor at Memorial service
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/president-shares-own-heroic-service-a250654497da | President Shares Own Heroic Service | [
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Returns to scene of crime to prove doubters wrong
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/president-stops-shooting-unarmed-b2c2c88c9773 | President Stops Shooting Unarmed | [
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One day after Christmas President tweets himself into stupor
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/president-succumbs-to-work-exhaustion-bf41c0d5cce9 | President Succumbs to Work Exhaustion | [
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Headed to Florida for grabbing and golf
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/president-takes-break-after-shut-down-141b8b9e9ddd | President Takes Break After Shut Down | [
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New executive order should stop problem of complaints
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/president-takes-on-sexual-misconduct-e0c442a1a673 | President Takes on Sexual Misconduct | [
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Or perhaps he just unravels. With POTUS, were never sure.
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/president-unravels-newest-conspiracy-a459b8d4a8ad | President Unravels Newest Conspiracy | [
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Animatronic exhibit walks off stage in jealous rage
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/president-wont-share-stage-with-robama-ea4df6e8c06b | President wont share stage with Robama | [
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POTUS and Putin discuss their Syrian Strategies
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/presidential-pillow-talk-caught-on-tape-f49461c7b20 | Presidential Pillow Talk Caught on Tape | [
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Newly released documents add to disastrous week
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/presidents-birth-certificate-fraudulent-15ca49bb6c38 | Presidents Birth Certificate Fraudulent | [
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Pressed by media, physician Jackson reveals the dirty truth
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/presidents-doctor-he-has-no-heart-30140eb68f3d | Presidents Doctor: He Has No Heart | [
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Possibly spurious sightings multiply exponentially
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/presidents-face-launches-religious-fervor-60b64f7d4739 | Presidents face launches religious fervor | [
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Its printed in big bold letters on my airline ticket: PRIORITY BOARDING. I paid
Greg Schwem
https://medium.com/the-haven/priority-boarding-end-of-the-line-sucker-556c2e09148f | Priority Boarding? End of the Line, Sucker! | [
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Future of Tweets is in doubt
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/prognosticator-trumpous-predicts-future-presidential-moves-e6272d87a86 | Prognosticator Trumpous predicts future Presidential Moves | [
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It is FridayStrip 66 of #TheAdultManualPush that button!
Percy Bharucha
https://medium.com/the-haven/push-that-button-a29df82fe617 | Push that button! | [
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0.063693806529045... |
Alliteration is the best tool for summing up last week in the Trump regime: pee
Greg Schwem
https://medium.com/the-haven/quick-somebody-give-president-trump-a-puppy-7727a924d234 | Quick, Somebody Give President Trump a Puppy | [
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It is still in development.
Zach Watson
https://medium.com/the-haven/read-the-script-that-netflix-wont-fbc765ab8a13 | Read the script that Netflix wont | [
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It happened.
Stephen H Stein
https://medium.com/the-haven/readers-1db45b1e734 | Readers | [
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Close your eyes and youll be there.
Zach Watson
https://medium.com/the-haven/rejected-spec-deacon-blues-clues-b112a55183de | Rejected Spec: Deacon Blues Clues | [
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Ive run into some research lately that has shown significant health benefits from, of all things, camping
Mark Salamon
https://medium.com/the-haven/roughing-it-for-better-health-b2f7bc219f2d | Roughing It For Better Health | [
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In the Right Direction, Preferably
Andrew Knott
https://medium.com/the-haven/row-row-row-your-boat-ac2dd56533c0 | Row, Row, Row Your Boat | [
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We are gathered here today in the sight of god and in the face of this company, to join together this man, and this woman in holy baloney, which is an honourable estate and is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly. Into this holy estate, these two
Shruthi Harikrishna
https://medium.com/the-haven/runaway-pride-8f0694b7d9c1 | Runaway pride | [
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GOPs total failure to care about victims will continue
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/ryan-colossal-breakdown-killed-students-507c91e369ae | Ryan: Colossal Breakdown Killed Students | [
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GOP positive even as POTUS adds Bad FBI to death penalty
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/ryan-mullers-job-as-safe-as-tillerson-s-8f61ba1bae23 | Ryan: Mullers Job as Safe as Tillersons | [
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Satisfaction,
Christyl Rivers, Phd.
https://medium.com/the-haven/sad-inaction-to-stop-sexual-harassment-640b1361e0a0 | Sad Inaction (to stop sexual harassment) | [
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No longer to answer questions from pushy reporters
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/sanders-challenged-by-new-role-5f8957376248 | Sanders Challenged by New Role | [
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New museum documents hatred and bias by liberals
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/sanders-museum-opens-to-visitors-485a222dfa9b | Sanders Museum Opens to Visitors | [
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Because While POTUS has the Best Words, He Oftentimes Transposes the Letters
Murray Brozinsky
https://medium.com/the-haven/satan-reading-a-thank-you-email-from-donald-trump-intended-for-santa-c1bd29732cd | Satan Reading a Thank You Email from Donald Trump that was Intended for Santa | [
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Once upon a time there was this house that was pretty spooky looking and was TOTALLY haunted, probably. All the people in the town were all like; yo dude, dont go to that spooky house. But there was this new kid in town named Todd or whatever who didnt give two shits about what was and wasnt
Richard Mertens
https://medium.com/the-haven/scary-story-1-7af51ad6830f | Scary Story #1 | [
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To invite everyone, she used her PaperlessPost app. She likes the designs and electronic efficiency. But mostly the design part.
Stephen H Stein
https://medium.com/the-haven/scavenger-hunt-67a767aa7efb | Treasure Match | [
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0.2120108753442... |
It is Friday
Percy Bharucha
https://medium.com/the-haven/schadenfriday-2267e194daee | SCHADENFRIDAY! | [
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It is Tuesday
Percy Bharucha
https://medium.com/the-haven/science-bitch-7a6db59652fc | Science Bitch | [
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0.2253675758838... |
It is Friday
Percy Bharucha
https://medium.com/the-haven/screw-the-world-83b7c8e7cf6c | Screw the world | [
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0.338766723871... |
Its so because he says so
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/secret-of-presidents-success-revealed-3c064fb0f0a0 | Secret of Presidents Success Revealed | [
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0.191505104303359... |
Get Rich Quick.
Zach Watson
https://medium.com/the-haven/shake-that-money-maker-into-my-investment-bank-68c396f577ef | Shake That Money Maker into My Investment Bank | [
0.1676117330789566,
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0.04118477180600166,... |
Introducing Poos, a New Way to React on The Haven
Page Barnes
https://medium.com/the-haven/show-authors-more-contempt-with-s-486de5af34c | Show Authors More Contempt with s | [
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President promises every American will benefit from what
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/signing-ceremony-trumpets-tax-bill-benefits-6065bf2715dd | Signing Ceremony Trumpets Tax Bill Benefits | [
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It is #TuesdayStrip 29 of #TheAdultManualSleep. Wake up confused. Repeat.
Percy Bharucha
https://medium.com/the-haven/sleep-wake-up-confused-repeat-34aa97e2c790 | Sleep. Wake up confused. Repeat. | [
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Presidents links to Russia traced to childhood crush
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/smoking-gun-and-shells-uncovered-6903edba2abd | Smoking Gun (and Shells) Uncovered | [
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What if Everything IS About Him?
Scott Stavrou
https://medium.com/the-haven/some-vain-tweets-to-a-girl-named-carly-72cc21f4284d | Some Vain tweets to a Girl Named Carly | [
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That sentence, delivered to my children over the Labor Day weekend, got their attention faster than five years ago when I said, I think
Greg Schwem
https://medium.com/the-haven/sorry-coca-cola-my-kids-dont-want-1-million-bucks-8e4b77a506de | Sorry Coca-Cola, My Kids Dont Want $1 Million Bucks | [
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President outlines bold new plan for Americas future
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/sotu-promises-radical-new-directions-80d07ea55534 | SOTU Promises Radical New Directions | [
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President sidelines America as former allies move on
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/south-and-north-korea-team-up-ec44b70f29a9 | South and North Korea Team Up | [
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Theres only room for one space in my heart now
Scott Stavrou
https://medium.com/the-haven/space-available-sorry-extra-space-its-over-period-58a50ac42876 | Space Available: Sorry, extra space, its over | [
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Women have globes, but in wrong place for new armed service
Phillip T Stephens
https://medium.com/the-haven/space-force-cadets-need-huge-space-balls-3a1f70ac361d | Space Force Cadets Need Huge Space Balls | [
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It is #FridayStrip 42 of #TheAdultManualSt. Peter gets pissed
Percy Bharucha
https://medium.com/the-haven/st-peter-gets-pissed-3b1bea0d28d8 | St. Peter gets pissed | [
0.1312214434146881,
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Trumpster Huckster, Sarah Huckabee Sanders announced early today that President Trump is currently making plans he calls
Alex P. Francis
https://medium.com/the-haven/stand-for-anything-a2a7d8e520d | Stand For Anything | [
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-0.849093735218... |
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