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* * * * * |
_28 July_.--Four days in hell, knocking about in a sort of maelstrom, |
and the wind a tempest. No sleep for any one. Men all worn out. Hardly |
know how to set a watch, since no one fit to go on. Second mate |
volunteered to steer and watch, and let men snatch a few hours' sleep. |
Wind abating; seas still terrific, but feel them less, as ship is |
steadier. |
* * * * * |
_29 July_.--Another tragedy. Had single watch to-night, as crew too |
tired to double. When morning watch came on deck could find no one |
except steersman. Raised outcry, and all came on deck. Thorough search, |
but no one found. Are now without second mate, and crew in a panic. Mate |
and I agreed to go armed henceforth and wait for any sign of cause. |
* * * * * |
_30 July_.--Last night. Rejoiced we are nearing England. Weather fine, |
all sails set. Retired worn out; slept soundly; awaked by mate telling |
me that both man of watch and steersman missing. Only self and mate and |
two hands left to work ship. |
* * * * * |
_1 August_.--Two days of fog, and not a sail sighted. Had hoped when in |
the English Channel to be able to signal for help or get in somewhere. |
Not having power to work sails, have to run before wind. Dare not lower, |
as could not raise them again. We seem to be drifting to some terrible |
doom. Mate now more demoralised than either of men. His stronger nature |
seems to have worked inwardly against himself. Men are beyond fear, |
working stolidly and patiently, with minds made up to worst. They are |
Russian, he Roumanian. |
* * * * * |
_2 August, midnight_.--Woke up from few minutes' sleep by hearing a cry, |
seemingly outside my port. Could see nothing in fog. Rushed on deck, and |
ran against mate. Tells me heard cry and ran, but no sign of man on |
watch. One more gone. Lord, help us! Mate says we must be past Straits |
of Dover, as in a moment of fog lifting he saw North Foreland, just as |
he heard the man cry out. If so we are now off in the North Sea, and |
only God can guide us in the fog, which seems to move with us; and God |
seems to have deserted us. |
* * * * * |
_3 August_.--At midnight I went to relieve the man at the wheel, and |
when I got to it found no one there. The wind was steady, and as we ran |
before it there was no yawing. I dared not leave it, so shouted for the |
mate. After a few seconds he rushed up on deck in his flannels. He |
looked wild-eyed and haggard, and I greatly fear his reason has given |
way. He came close to me and whispered hoarsely, with his mouth to my |
ear, as though fearing the very air might hear: "_It_ is here; I know |
it, now. On the watch last night I saw It, like a man, tall and thin, |
and ghastly pale. It was in the bows, and looking out. I crept behind |
It, and gave It my knife; but the knife went through It, empty as the |
air." And as he spoke he took his knife and drove it savagely into |
space. Then he went on: "But It is here, and I'll find It. It is in the |
hold, perhaps in one of those boxes. I'll unscrew them one by one and |
see. You work the helm." And, with a warning look and his finger on his |
lip, he went below. There was springing up a choppy wind, and I could |
not leave the helm. I saw him come out on deck again with a tool-chest |
and a lantern, and go down the forward hatchway. He is mad, stark, |
raving mad, and it's no use my trying to stop him. He can't hurt those |
big boxes: they are invoiced as "clay," and to pull them about is as |
harmless a thing as he can do. So here I stay, and mind the helm, and |
write these notes. I can only trust in God and wait till the fog clears. |
Then, if I can't steer to any harbour with the wind that is, I shall cut |
down sails and lie by, and signal for help.... |
* * * * * |
It is nearly all over now. Just as I was beginning to hope that the mate |
would come out calmer--for I heard him knocking away at something in the |
hold, and work is good for him--there came up the hatchway a sudden, |
startled scream, which made my blood run cold, and up on the deck he |
came as if shot from a gun--a raging madman, with his eyes rolling and |
his face convulsed with fear. "Save me! save me!" he cried, and then |
looked round on the blanket of fog. His horror turned to despair, and in |
a steady voice he said: "You had better come too, captain, before it is |
too late. _He_ is there. I know the secret now. The sea will save me |
from Him, and it is all that is left!" Before I could say a word, or |
move forward to seize him, he sprang on the bulwark and deliberately |
threw himself into the sea. I suppose I know the secret too, now. It was |
this madman who had got rid of the men one by one, and now he has |
followed them himself. God help me! How am I to account for all these |
horrors when I get to port? _When_ I get to port! Will that ever be? |
* * * * * |
_4 August._--Still fog, which the sunrise cannot pierce. I know there is |
sunrise because I am a sailor, why else I know not. I dared not go |
below, I dared not leave the helm; so here all night I stayed, and in |
the dimness of the night I saw It--Him! God forgive me, but the mate was |
right to jump overboard. It was better to die like a man; to die like a |
sailor in blue water no man can object. But I am captain, and I must not |
leave my ship. But I shall baffle this fiend or monster, for I shall tie |
my hands to the wheel when my strength begins to fail, and along with |
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