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enabled him by our dear, good friend's aid to rise from clerk to master |
in a few years--should be so injured that the very essence of its |
strength is gone. Forgive me, dear, if I worry you with my troubles in |
the midst of your own happiness; but, Lucy dear, I must tell some one, |
for the strain of keeping up a brave and cheerful appearance to Jonathan |
tries me, and I have no one here that I can confide in. I dread coming |
up to London, as we must do the day after to-morrow; for poor Mr. |
Hawkins left in his will that he was to be buried in the grave with his |
father. As there are no relations at all, Jonathan will have to be chief |
mourner. I shall try to run over to see you, dearest, if only for a few |
minutes. Forgive me for troubling you. With all blessings, |
"Your loving |
"MINA HARKER." |
_Dr. Seward's Diary._ |
_20 September._--Only resolution and habit can let me make an entry |
to-night. I am too miserable, too low-spirited, too sick of the world |
and all in it, including life itself, that I would not care if I heard |
this moment the flapping of the wings of the angel of death. And he has |
been flapping those grim wings to some purpose of late--Lucy's mother |
and Arthur's father, and now.... Let me get on with my work. |
I duly relieved Van Helsing in his watch over Lucy. We wanted Arthur to |
go to rest also, but he refused at first. It was only when I told him |
that we should want him to help us during the day, and that we must not |
all break down for want of rest, lest Lucy should suffer, that he agreed |
to go. Van Helsing was very kind to him. "Come, my child," he said; |
"come with me. You are sick and weak, and have had much sorrow and much |
mental pain, as well as that tax on your strength that we know of. You |
must not be alone; for to be alone is to be full of fears and alarms. |
Come to the drawing-room, where there is a big fire, and there are two |
sofas. You shall lie on one, and I on the other, and our sympathy will |
be comfort to each other, even though we do not speak, and even if we |
sleep." Arthur went off with him, casting back a longing look on Lucy's |
face, which lay in her pillow, almost whiter than the lawn. She lay |
quite still, and I looked round the room to see that all was as it |
should be. I could see that the Professor had carried out in this room, |
as in the other, his purpose of using the garlic; the whole of the |
window-sashes reeked with it, and round Lucy's neck, over the silk |
handkerchief which Van Helsing made her keep on, was a rough chaplet of |
the same odorous flowers. Lucy was breathing somewhat stertorously, and |
her face was at its worst, for the open mouth showed the pale gums. Her |
teeth, in the dim, uncertain light, seemed longer and sharper than they |
had been in the morning. In particular, by some trick of the light, the |
canine teeth looked longer and sharper than the rest. I sat down by her, |
and presently she moved uneasily. At the same moment there came a sort |
of dull flapping or buffeting at the window. I went over to it softly, |
and peeped out by the corner of the blind. There was a full moonlight, |
and I could see that the noise was made by a great bat, which wheeled |
round--doubtless attracted by the light, although so dim--and every now |
and again struck the window with its wings. When I came back to my seat, |
I found that Lucy had moved slightly, and had torn away the garlic |
flowers from her throat. I replaced them as well as I could, and sat |
watching her. |
Presently she woke, and I gave her food, as Van Helsing had prescribed. |
She took but a little, and that languidly. There did not seem to be with |
her now the unconscious struggle for life and strength that had hitherto |
so marked her illness. It struck me as curious that the moment she |
became conscious she pressed the garlic flowers close to her. It was |
certainly odd that whenever she got into that lethargic state, with the |
stertorous breathing, she put the flowers from her; but that when she |
waked she clutched them close. There was no possibility of making any |
mistake about this, for in the long hours that followed, she had many |
spells of sleeping and waking and repeated both actions many times. |
At six o'clock Van Helsing came to relieve me. Arthur had then fallen |
into a doze, and he mercifully let him sleep on. When he saw Lucy's face |
I could hear the sissing indraw of his breath, and he said to me in a |
sharp whisper: "Draw up the blind; I want light!" Then he bent down, |
and, with his face almost touching Lucy's, examined her carefully. He |
removed the flowers and lifted the silk handkerchief from her throat. As |
he did so he started back, and I could hear his ejaculation, "Mein |
Gott!" as it was smothered in his throat. I bent over and looked, too, |
and as I noticed some queer chill came over me. |
The wounds on the throat had absolutely disappeared. |
For fully five minutes Van Helsing stood looking at her, with his face |
at its sternest. Then he turned to me and said calmly:-- |
"She is dying. It will not be long now. It will be much difference, mark |
me, whether she dies conscious or in her sleep. Wake that poor boy, and |
let him come and see the last; he trusts us, and we have promised him." |
I went to the dining-room and waked him. He was dazed for a moment, but |
when he saw the sunlight streaming in through the edges of the shutters |
he thought he was late, and expressed his fear. I assured him that Lucy |
was still asleep, but told him as gently as I could that both Van |
Helsing and I feared that the end was near. He covered his face with his |
hands, and slid down on his knees by the sofa, where he remained, |
perhaps a minute, with his head buried, praying, whilst his shoulders |
shook with grief. I took him by the hand and raised him up. "Come," I |
said, "my dear old fellow, summon all your fortitude: it will be best |
and easiest for her." |
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