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Barbie Girl |
Frustrated |
I know it's perverse, but I enjoy watching their faces glaze over. I put those snooty and snarky and steely girls under, and when they surface, nothing but slut is left. Jessica was my most recent; I met her at the mall. |
The slim, flat-chested brunette talking on a cell-phone and nervously pacing in front of a department store glanced at me. |
"Excuse me miss, are you alright?" |
"Oh, yes," she said, "I'm just trying to get my friend on the line, she hasn't shown up yet." |
"What does your friend look like?" |
"Oh, she's--she'll show up." |
"Maybe I could help you look." |
"No thanks." She was mistrustful of strangers. That could be cured. I started to stretch one hand out towards her, and then stopped when I saw the looks several passers-by were giving me. It would have to be less public... |
"Well, I'll be inside the store if you want to find me." |
"Uh, thanks anyway." |
She dialed another call and I headed into the store. I lingered near the door for a while, and then made my rounds of the counters. As the minutes passed and it became less and less likely that the girl would ask me for help, I started choosing my path randomly, winding my way into the depths of the store. I ended up n... |
"Oh, mister?" There was a tap on my shoulder. I turned to look at the curvaceous girl in jeans and a pink pea-coat. "Have you seen my friend? She was supposed to be here." |
"I'm sorry, I don't think so." |
"Ugh, bastard," she said under her breath. I forgot the other girl; this one needed some manners. She also had a better base to work off of. |
"Well, you're not giving me much to go on here. What does she look like?" |
"She's wearing a black coat. Brown hair. Short." She spat every word with contempt and a sort of hiss. |
"I might have seen her," I said, as if remembering something difficult, "Yes! I have seen her." |
"Where?" |
"I don't know if I should tell you after you've been so rude to me, as you were obviously rude to her." |
"I have no idea what you're talking about. Whatever, I'll find her." She turned to go. She needed to learn some manners. |
"You won't. She was leaving. I saw her in the parking lot, getting into a car. She said that her friend was a bitch she never wanted to see again." |
"What?" |
"I assume that the bitch would be you." |
"I am not a bitch. That whore!" |
"I could probably take you to her; she couldn't have gotten far in all this traffic. You could sit in the passenger seat and point out her car and when you find it, I'll follow her." |
The girl was almost mad enough to shoot flames out of her ears, so she agreed. |
"Oh little girl," I thought, "Didn't you ever listen to your mother when she said not to go with strangers?" This was going to be easy. |
I took the nearest exit and walked out to my car; the girl walked two steps ahead of me, so she had to correct her course every time I changed rows, which I did often. It served only to enrage her more fully. |
I hit the beeper button on my key ring and then the special button and opened the passenger door for her. She got in and crossed her legs with nary a thank you. I crossed over the long way and got in myself, leaving her to shut her own door. The seat-belts automatically enclosed both of us when I started the car. |
"Ouch! This stupid thing pinched me." |
"It does that sometimes, don't mind it; the pain will go away in a second." |
... "Hiya Barbie"... |
"Hi Ken!"... |
"Wanna go for a ride?"... |
"Sure Ken!"... |
She looked at me out of the corner of her eye, and I quickly snapped off the stereo. |
I maneuvered my black, compact car around the lot and merged into traffic. I was not being quick enough for my passenger, who was getting more frustrated by the second. |
"I don't see her car. Where is she?" |
"I don't know what it looks like." |
"Um, that red one, that looks like it." |
"Is it hers?" |
"I don't know." |
"Alright then, I'll follow it." It was going in the right direction. |
I followed the car down several highway exits and then onto a state road, where I "lost" it when it turned off. I went one more exit and did the same. |
I stole glances at the livid girl in the passenger seat; her long, dark hair ran straight down her back, brushing her high cheek-bones almost delicately. Her stiletto-heeled boots tapped impatiently on the floor. |
I pretended to be following another red car when she asked if I knew where I was going. She sounded extremely skeptical, but she was still angry. Of course I knew where I was going. |
We pulled up to my apartment building a few minutes later. By now the drugs from the seatbelt poke were starting to take effect, so she didn't object when I took her arm and guided her up three flights of stairs and into my apartment, or when I bolted the door behind us. |
"Please, sit down." I pointed to the green armchair in the very center of the room. It was not a question. |
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