prompt stringlengths 20 5.8k | chosen_story stringlengths 227 9.36k | rejected_story stringlengths 227 9.29k | chosen_timestamp timestamp[ns]date 2012-08-08 08:57:01 2022-12-31 14:34:19 | rejected_timestamp timestamp[ns]date 2012-08-08 08:06:24 2022-12-31 12:20:41 | chosen_upvotes int64 14 23.1k | rejected_upvotes int64 10 4.11k |
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[WP] You are caught working on a D&D campaign at your office, as punishment, your supervisor, the CEO, VP and Head of Accounting sit in a conference room character sheets and dice in hand | "Leonard. Francis has alerted me that you are particular to Dungeons and Dragons and were working on something for it a little earlier today. Is this correct?"
"Yes. I was formulating a campaign strategy, Mr. Granin."
"We should talk. Step into the conference room."
Leonard was in for it now. He only hoped he could ... | I figured it would be best to take the initiative. "Gentlemen, you'll forgive me if this sounds flippant, but I have a suggestion. Let's keep things simple. 1,2,3? Truth. 4,5,6? Dare."
The CEO said nothing, but briefly met the eyes of his two colleagues. Nods. For an instant I could've sworn I saw the corner of his mo... | 2018-04-11T10:31:59 | 2018-04-11T09:20:47 | 124 | 10 |
[WP] “So your saying that you humans feel empathy?” “Yeah, it’s great to be able to understand one ano-“ “You don’t understand! If your species has empathy then that means your planets been infected.” | "Wait, did you say 'infected'?" Leo tilted his head curiously.
The alien being had been talking to him for quite a while now and when the initial shock of speaking to an alien subsided was revealed to be a fairly amicable fellow. It bore more resemblances to humans than Leo expected - a head with two eyes, a mouth-hol... | "For there to be progress, there must be dispassionate and cruel exploitation. You, as a species, know this." The being spoke from the other side of the glass.
"That's not an inherent attribute to progress. There can be progress without—"
"Wrong. Your kind is on its way to greatness. But, like many other species befo... | 2022-01-20T07:39:45 | 2022-01-20T07:35:41 | 476 | 96 |
[WP]: When you died you find out that souls are put up for auction for various religions to bid upon. When you are present on the block, a bidding war started that has not been seen in millennium and you do not know why every religion wants your soul. | My sherpa whispers, "It's never gone this high before. What is it about you?"
I think about my time on earth. Sure, I was raised an orphan. But otherwise, I was a normal guy. I woke up, sold insurance, went home, kissed my wife and went to bed.
"I don't know what it is," I say.
The bidding ends. The auctioneer yells... | "one billion soul dollars." "Fuck you zeus, one and half billion" "3 billion" billion nice try Anubis.""Fifty billion" "Youdammit Yaweh, you always get the good ones." "Going once, going twice, sold to the Man in white. Congrats Yaweh you just won the rights to the best lover in the mutiverse.""But I am a virgin." | 2014-11-30T19:20:29 | 2014-11-30T18:46:20 | 1,383 | 24 |
[WP] "What the hell do you mean you 'overclocked a sloth'?" | Heading an animal neural activity research lab was serious business. Last week they almost got a monkey to stop throwing poop. The lead scientists were excited and holding a party to celebrate the breakthrough. Being the head of the department, I was stuck at the aforementioned party trying to drink away the fact that ... | "Wait wait wait, hang on John," my oldest friend Daniel said, laughing at my worried expression. "You said you did what?"
"I tried that new chip we got in last week, y'know the one that hasn't exactly been cleared for use," I said, my hands shaking violently at my sides, looking around trough bloodshot eyes, as if some... | 2015-03-19T02:36:16 | 2015-03-19T01:09:58 | 78 | 11 |
[WP] Casting a spell is like coding a program, but with magic. An apprentice points out an error in the chant. "I know it's wrong," replies the master, "but if I change it, reality gets all wonkey." | "What's in a spell?"
My voice carries through the lecture chamber.
A new class, a new year, but the same question. Always the same question.
I wait, then ask again.
"What's in a spell? What are its parts?"
A student shoots their hand into the air.
I smile and point at them excitedly, "Yes! Your name please?"
"Ma... | After four consecutive days of work, Murphy succumbed to rote trial and error, manipulating the words in a predictable algorithm that should try all patterns within another three weeks or so with minimal breaks.
The students came at dawn daily and left at dusk, paying good money to get their education in the magical a... | 2022-09-19T10:48:40 | 2022-09-19T10:40:50 | 938 | 62 |
[WP] If the earth is flat, what is on the other side? You've been sent to find out.
Just assume that the earth really is flat (WHICH IT IS NOT), and that there is something on the other side. | So there I stood at the edge of the world. Nothing but black nothingness stretched out in front of me, the stars only twinkling right above and behind me. It looked so normal, the edge. The ground just kind of ... ended and then went straight down. I checked once more if my carabiner was securely locked to my belt and ... | I was about 50 feet from the edge.
Everyone was watching. Across the plain, all eyes were on me. They televised the ground breaking conquest. There were protests, riots even. Ultimately they decided I was the best candidate. No family history, siblings, the usual type for missions of "unknown" outcome.
My heart bega... | 2017-05-17T12:28:57 | 2017-05-17T12:19:21 | 28 | 21 |
[WP] A world class contract killer finds an envelope at his dead drop. Inside are $23.42 in small change and a letter hand-written by a 9-year-old girl. | "Are you fucking kidding me?" Roper could see the bright yellow envelope sticking out of the little crack in the St. Bernard's Chapel's masonry as soon as he came round the street corner. This specific dead drop was reserved for contracts by the local "business club". They paid well, they respected his rules, they hate... | *Deer Mister Sir,*
*My name is Lucy and I am 9. I know I don't have a lot of muney, but I saved for three whole months and didn't even spend any on sweets, even thogh I really wanted this ginormous lollypop.*
*My Pop told me I could find you here, if I ever needed anything. He said you knew Mummy years ago, even befo... | 2014-08-26T04:55:15 | 2014-08-26T03:57:22 | 106 | 28 |
[WP] The Islamic State is wiped out by a totally unexpected country in a totally unexpected way. | "DEUS VULT!"
The battlecry of the newly reborn Papal State rang on the lips of devout Catholics the world over. The faithful had come together once again to rid the Holy Land of the infidel scourge. Pope Francis stood at the head of his army, a not-so-ceremonial sword flashing in his hand as he held it up on the stree... | At first, we all thought it was just a stunt to get back in the headlines. We all knew the Prince was a bit of a publicity whore, but there was no way he could actually believe in their cause, right?
But joke or not, they came. First in rafts, setting off from the mainland. Then a hijacked cruise vessel, stolen off... | 2016-01-29T10:03:10 | 2016-01-29T06:56:50 | 82 | 55 |
[WP] Civilization has fallen and you have the most important job of all, keeping the Netflix Servers online for the survivors. | "I'm trying, I'm trying!"
Toby ran the DNS Lookup again. Nothing. Everything was working fine. The IP addresses were redirecting like they should, there was no reason why –
"Where's Fargo!? I can't watch Fargo!"
"Fargo was only on the UK Netflix", Toby replied, as a third voice came from the speakers.
"Is there any... | I am Liberty, her skin long ago greened
For a nation stalled by the prospect of constant vigilance.
I am Chichen Itza, whose relics proclaim a once proud people
Sauntering on wide promenades, tasting pineapples and ripe tomatoes
Offered by beaded vendors with pushcarts,
Who did not sense the coming conquistadors.
... | 2015-10-28T10:16:12 | 2015-10-28T10:09:23 | 195 | 20 |
[WP] You have always heard two voices in your head, one telling you to do good, and one telling you to do evil. Today, however, you awaken to them both screaming the same thing at you... | "Wait, what did you say?" Asked the softer voice with a trace of suspicion.
"Wait, what did *you* say?" Replied the sharper voice with a tone of surprise.
"Yeah. What did you two say?" I murmur to myself with an equal amount of disbelief.
All my life I have always heard three voices in my head. The softer voice, ... | 'The book says 'forgive the one's who wronged you'. I solemnly believe that officer but...'
'All i need is a confession Tom'
'You listen to me and listen good officer, i am not confessing to anything, it was not me... I could never do this...'
Tom suffered a great loss an year ago and was slowly recovering, losing a... | 2017-05-18T09:57:01 | 2017-05-18T06:31:43 | 192 | 13 |
[WP] You are an aura reader. You have the definitive answers as to someone's true character and morality. The most obvious career was being a judge. Because of your powers, everyone takes your word for if someone is guilty or not. Hopefully you don't abuse this power... | ... and I never did abuse this power. Why would I? My position was pinnacle of doing as little as possible and getting paid for it, a very generous amounts, mind you. I was respected, well off and secured for life.
Now, did I use this power to scare my children to behave themselves? Hell yes! "Ooo, you've been so bad,... | Clara’s face turned white as a ghost. Knowing talking back would not help, she clamped her lips shut and trained her eyes on a dead fly near her left foot.
The bailiff and police officers drew forward and gently crossed her hands behind her back before cuffing them.
Silent tears tracked the ground behind Clara as she... | 2022-09-07T14:19:11 | 2022-09-07T12:02:57 | 141 | 84 |
[WP] The hero has been defeated, the Dark Lord reigns. It seems like nobody can stop him, but then he surprises everyone by actually being a good leader, or at least better then the warring kings that used to rule this land. He's even funding science, if only because he wants to conquer the moon. | Lord Zaxos sat upon his throne built of skulls and bone, molded together by dark fire and blood magic. The petitioners knelt before him, some trembling in fear as the herald beat a giant drum made of human skin and dead wood.
"Rise," he said. His voice echoing off the cavernous dark hall of his throne room, a gothic... | We all thought it was the end, that we were doomed to a life of horrific slavery, torture, and death. But we were all so very wrong. The poverty, the hunger, the illness…he fixed it all. Every single problem that we had, from violence amongst the people to the high levels of corruption present inside the government. We... | 2021-03-11T09:53:35 | 2021-03-11T08:33:48 | 2,132 | 101 |
[WP] The Crips and the Bloods ally with each other against ISIS. The world laughs as thousands of gang members board a cruise ship and set sail for the Middle East. The two gangs land on the shores of Syria and begin their fight against ISIS.
Let's see how the two gangs fare.
EDIT: These are great, guys! Thanks for ... | "Don't shoot, I'm Shia not Sunni! How come you westerners can never understand the difference?!"
"Oh. I understand the difference, more than you'll never know..." *blaat* (cut to thug life vine)
Alternative: dearest laquisha,
The days are hot and the nights are cold in this barren desert of Syria. I opine for these ... | Waves lap at the shore a young Syrian child picks up a stone to throw at the water her eyes are flooded war has ravaged the city and the future is un-certain a hermet crab catches her eye but a loud thud causes the creature to re-enter its shell, the child runs fearing another bombing raid but her gaze is fixated on th... | 2015-12-07T10:09:17 | 2015-12-07T09:25:02 | 146 | 10 |
[WP] You are an alien anthropologist. Write about a human bodypart or aspect that is completely alien to your species. | Marth exhaled quietly downward, consciously not jittering. He shifted slightly in his chair as he began to hum a familiar tune to himself. He warms at the thought of Suldania's voice, high and pleasant, with a slight reverb that she swears isn't forced. The same this morning as it was the day they first met. He breathe... | The appendix is an unusual artefact of human evolution to the point that for a few centuries even human doctors had no precise knowledge of precisely *what* the appendix is used for within the body. As such, it was once considered vestigial and unnecessary.
The appendix is located on the lower intestine of a human's d... | 2017-10-04T07:54:55 | 2017-10-04T06:29:36 | 41 | 16 |
[WP] After robbing a bank and with cops in pursuit of your vehicle, you yell, "Jesus take the wheel," as you move to shoot at the police. To your surprise, Jesus actually appears and takes the wheel. | “The one on the left. Shoot him first.”
I don’t know what shocked me more; the fact that there was now an unremarkable man of middle eastern decent adorned with a halo grabbing my steering wheel from the passenger seat, or that he was encouraging me to shoot the cop on the left.
“Who…” I began.
“You know who,” He sa... | I had everything planned out to the minute.
7:49 - Enter bank and begin filling out a deposit slip with the instructions.
7:50 - Hand note to bank teller with a smile.
7:51 - Intercept silent alarm trigger.
7:52 -
You know what you get the idea, I had a well thought out plan. I had a few people helping all with... | 2017-05-01T09:07:34 | 2017-05-01T06:08:31 | 292 | 24 |
[WP] Write a story based on your favourite song. Other people have to guess which song it is.
Can be inspired by lyrics, backstory, or anything else you love about the song | A 43 year old Jamaican-American man appeared in court today, in an attempt to overturn a divorce ruling, despite his partner submitting photographic evidence of his infidelity.
The pictures show the defendant, butt naked, banging on the bathroom floor. The ex wife also claims she saw the pair kissing on the sofa, b... | There she is. The love of my life on a hospital bed. It's been long in coming (I always knew someday she would die), but just the sight of her brings back a flood of memories. As I hold her hand, I think of the time I dropped out of school for love. I remember our travels together, some experiences bright and poignant,... | 2015-09-13T07:25:48 | 2015-09-13T07:17:09 | 67 | 17 |
[WP] A priest returns home after a successful exorcism. His demon daughter is waiting for him there, angry that he removed her from someone’s body again. | The trembling crucifix dug into Patrick's hand as he squeezed it tight, a bulwark against the insanity raging on the bed.
Mrs Jones -- the current possessed -- baked the best pasties in all of Saint Ives. At least, she'd used to before the demon had come upon her. The air of her house still echoed with sweetness of do... | Father Atkinson returned home a tired man. His once sturdy frame stood hollow, a tree devoured inside out. His face had grown wrinkled as bark; his calloused hands could barely grip the cross as he pounded the pulpit before his congregation.
They didn't know him. Not the true him--the man who scrambled to correct his... | 2020-10-20T08:10:43 | 2020-10-20T08:05:28 | 3,148 | 123 |
[WP] James Bond (MI5) was suave, Jason Bourne (CIA) was professional, and Jack Bauer (FBI) was aggressive. Describe the 4th JB. | The cool James Bond never missed an opportunity with the ladies. The Sly Jason Bourne was efficient and calculated with his objectives. And the rough and tough Jack Bauer knew how to crack some heads when he needed to.
But Jack Black took to music instead of his guns, and sang sweet melodies to soothe even his greates... |
The suave James Bond foiled criminals and evildoers worldwide.
The professional Jason Bourne struggled as an amnesiac rogue.
The aggressive Jack Bauer prevented terrorists from destroying the world in short time frames.
The foremost and fourth JB hynoptizes teenage girls and gathers a large following who obsess o... | 2015-11-04T06:50:51 | 2015-11-04T06:43:23 | 19 | 13 |
[WP] The doctor gave you six months. You lived through it, one year has passed. Not surprised, he then gave you one year; after that time you are still alive. You're starting to think he's actually GIVING you time to live, instead of making predictions. | I stare at the young man before me and try to control the tone of my voice. "I'm afraid it isn't the news that we hoped for. There are still signs of the cancer."
He forces a smile, always putting on a brave face. "What does this mean doc? More chemo?"
"I'm afraid that's not an option, you're already too weak. We'd b... | "It's been a year and look at me. I feel just fine. like... like I was never sick or something. What is going on?" I asked with a little bit of accusing tone.
It was exactly one and a half year ago when I collapsed on the ground with a sharp pain in my chest. I thought it was a heart attack and my life was going to e... | 2018-05-31T04:54:12 | 2018-05-31T01:40:47 | 2,952 | 500 |
[WP] Write the letter that you always wanted to, but never did.
Most of the writing prompts I see on here are for fictional stories, but this is only one small corner of the larger art of writing. In this prompt, I'd like you to consider writing something a little more personal, and in a form that you might not have o... | Hey, Dad.
It's been a long fucking time without being around you, and I have to say it's pretty sweet. I hope you're enjoying your new family with whatsherface, considering you didn't take part in mine. Your vicious words of hatred haven't left my mind, not as a scar, but as a motivator. I'm not some "lazy piece of sh... | Dear [name redacted],
Hey, do you remember when you stopped talking to mecwithout giving me an explanation? How you walked away from that without any pain, but I was sent into a depressive spiral for months? Of course you don't. You can put those thoughts behind you. I can't put mine behind me. You're lucky, and I kin... | 2015-12-05T13:26:16 | 2015-12-05T13:04:29 | 386 | 36 |
[WP] You're a retired villain who now runs a 24-7 grocery store. One day a new hero decides to ambush you in your own store. | (I’ve split this story into four parts through four different writing prompts! They are technically standalone, but they tell a more complete story together. This is part four of four, and you can find the previous (third) part here: [https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/zqs5dl/comment/j10vtqo/?utm\_source=... | There was once a quiet, out of the way little grocery store on a streetcorner in the suburbs. It was close to closing time, but there was one family left buying some Icee cones for the road, as they were on a long trip and just passing through. A clerk named Benjamin watched as the Dad bought a Cola-flavored cone, the ... | 2022-12-20T10:47:30 | 2022-12-20T06:24:08 | 25 | 12 |
[WP] All money is now cats. Describe a transaction. | They drug them for the big transactions. They have to, really, otherwise people would get killed. Have you ever seen a thousand angry cats in one place? It's basically a fire with teeth and fur. No wonder people are so keen to stop using cash.
Anyway, my job is to move them to the bank at the end of the day, after the... | They file out of the back of the truck carrying guns and whips like soldiers moonlighting as circus performers. The people in the streets duck behind their cars or run off screaming in horror, but these men adorned in black garb and black masks seem not to notice it. The men at the front of the group kick the bank door... | 2015-12-31T08:42:23 | 2015-12-31T06:54:26 | 32 | 11 |
[WP] Humans were never meant to be able to draw perfect circles. For millennia people of all ages attempted the feat, from young children to elder scientists - and everyone in-between. After drawing one perfectly on your first attempt, you finally understand the ramifications behind your actions. | How many sides does a circle have?
Nobody knows. One can argue that a circle has an infinite amount of sides, each one infinitely small and adjacent to the next. Others say that a circle is simply one side, bent in a perfect curve that connects its two ends. And some will say that a circle has no sides at all.
Not th... | I was just joking around you know? I mean it’s always seemed funny to me that “no one could draw a perfect circle”. It was supposed to be fun. When I saw what I managed to to I tried to play it off like “of course that happens” but as soon as I reached my hand through it by mistake I realized how wrong I was. It seemed... | 2021-05-22T11:37:26 | 2021-05-22T10:30:59 | 24 | 17 |
[WP] Dave is the first human convict to arrive in the intergalactic prison. | This is my first one so it's not the best.
*PRISONER* **#451,** *PLEASE NAVIGATE TO YOUR CELL IN* **G451** "That's your cue, David,"
Dave anxiously stumbled forward. The restraints on his wrists seemed to grow tighter and it became hard to breathe. Monstrous creatures barked from the cells around him. Some had ho... | Dave looked at his cellmate - tall, dark and with five heads - and settled into his bunkbed. It bore some similarities to prison on Earth. Grey, graffiti on the walls, cramped spaces. Except this prison occupied an entire planet. And the graffiti was rather more creative and covered a few more languages.
"So, you're... | 2016-08-23T09:25:33 | 2016-08-23T09:06:18 | 95 | 27 |
[WP] As an immortal, one of the things you hate is visiting museums as almost everything people guess about history is wrong and you can't correct them. You have resorted to online forums and recently found a 'conspiracy theory' thread that seems suspiciously accurate. | Once you get to a certain age one gets bored easily. To break such back breaking boredom many immortals take to trolling the mortals for fun, it's been happening for centuries. I'm sure it's not hard to look into certain folklore hard enough and at least consider the idea that the origin must have been a prank that som... | "A true masterpiece, this painting..."
"You shouldn't disregard the vase next to it. A great artist made it in the Yin Dynasty..."
"And likewise this statue..."
With difficulty I restrained a sigh, forcing myself to put on a smile as one of the sponsors looked at me critically. Seconds after he turned his att... | 2022-07-14T12:14:44 | 2022-07-14T12:00:38 | 28 | 12 |
[WP] An alien replacing your father and pretending to be him sounds like everybody horror's story, except for you and your mother since it is affectionate, caring, helps you with school and has even been promoted at work and is an absolute dork for SciFi movies. | My father was replaced by an alien.
He used to be a terrible father. He would get drunk, and then lash out at us. Blaming us for his troubles, blaming us for our debt, blaming use for everything.
He used to yell at mom, hitting her. Then he would leave to go hang out with his buddies.
I honestly dont remember much ... | “I love you, son” said the impostor.
Tears well up in my eyes. “I love you too, Dad”. For a second, I really mean Dad. It’s hard knowing that your dad has been replaced by a stranger, but times like this make it all worthwhile. Maybe in time, I’ll forget about my first ‘father’. Maybe I dreamt him up. It’s hard to be ... | 2020-04-23T09:51:30 | 2020-04-23T09:30:56 | 26 | 18 |
[WP] It‘s a normal afternoon on earth but then suddenly an entire fleet of imperial ships exit hyperspace and are now in earths orbit. How would the Earths governments react if those ships in the sky just stay there for days, weeks and maybe even months just doing nothing? | Everyone thought it was the end times.
Oh, sure. Some people would keep a brave face. The media, the governments, the military: they all wanted to make believe that this was first contact with a higher being. Soon we would be given the keys to peace, longevity, technology, and passage to the stars.
No one was fooled.... | The shadows loomed across the world. Even through the day, the ships could be seen clearly in the sky. The apocalypse had begun. Or so we had thought.
Missiles were launched at the ships to no avail. They were destroyed before even making a dent. But not return blasts ever came. We expected fire to rain from the sky, ... | 2022-04-26T07:33:30 | 2022-04-26T07:04:21 | 95 | 32 |
[WP] Make me cry in four sentences or less.
Go. | He checked his watch for the eighth time that hour.
He took the box out of his pocket and opened it.
He took the ring out and caught the fading light of the day in its facets.
He put the ring away and walked home as he realized she would never show. | Parallel lines have a lot in common but they never ever get to meet each other.
Every other pair of lines meet once and drift apart forever.
The asymptote builds up (false) hope and gets closer and closer to meeting the axis but... never gets to do that.
Lines are depressing :'( | 2014-11-20T18:36:12 | 2014-11-20T18:22:41 | 72 | 26 |
[WP] You work as a bookie for gamblers with rich blood. One day a man comes to you and puts down a fortune on a ridiculous bet. But this is the moment you've been waiting for. You shove him against the wall. "TTPD!" You shout. "You are under arrest for time-traveling for your own personal gain!" | It is rare for recruits to do their first arrest so quick. Finding offenders is a hard task.
As you place the handcuffs on him, the race is nearing the end. As Chance overtakes Thunder, you understand your mistake: this was a rudiculous bet, yes... but also a loosing one.
The man started laughing and let out a fain... | Arthur Flint sat in a too hard chair in a casino three hundred years from home and watched her approach. That’s not to say he was special or that they were alone, every man in every room Ava had ever walked through had turned towards her, in that respect Arthur’s intense stare was the most normal thing he could have do... | 2020-12-31T08:19:32 | 2020-12-31T08:09:43 | 113 | 81 |
[WP] It's 3 AM. An official phone alert wakes you up. It says "DO NOT LOOK AT THE WALRUS". You have hundreds of notifications. Hundreds of random numbers are sending "It's a beautiful walrus. Look." | My phone rattled on my nightstand, and I ignored it.
Twenty minutes later, it shook again. The quiet buzz would usually go unnoticed during the day, but the same volume amplified twofold in the middle of the night.
The phone’s shake persisted. I felt myself pried away from a deep slumber.
I grabbed my phone and p... | The room was dark and still. A dog barked somewhere in the distance, it’s rhythmic yelps slipping through the barely open window. A digital alarm clock sat on a bedside table - its face glowed softly as 2:59AM turned to 3:00AM.
A phone buzzed violently beside the clock.
“What the fuck is that?” groaned the previousl... | 2021-01-11T19:03:59 | 2021-01-11T17:28:37 | 1,394 | 216 |
[WP] you are a powerful warlock that has retired to raise your daughter everything's been going well that is until a couple of her classmates try to sacrifice her after reading about a 'dark spell' online, you've decided to show them what real black magic looks like | An alarm is going off in my head. Not metaphorically, a literal thaumaturgical alarum. My child is in danger. Elevated heartrate, fear, crying. I open my inner eye to seek her. I see her lying on a large tree stump surrounded by candles. I recognize the runes burned into the bark and latch onto one of them taking the m... | I watched over my precious daughter, May, as she slept. Her body was covered in bandages. What those girls did angered me. I grinned instead. This was going to be fun, indeed!
After a few hours, I left my husband to watch over our daughter. There were things I needed to do, such as finish my part of that project and s... | 2021-09-04T20:29:47 | 2021-09-04T20:01:18 | 1,106 | 64 |
[WP] Write your own satirical news article in the style of The Onion. | New York City, New York 12/30/14
SOURCES SAY ALL FLIGHTS IN THE WORLD ARRIVED SAFELY AT DESTINATIONS
written by *murph_diver*
In a stunning turn of non-events, it has been confirmed by multiple sources that nothing of significant importance among major airlines in the world has happened today.
A spokesperson for ... | **UN tests newest *Strongly Worded Letter* in the Bikini Atolls**
Last Friday, December 26th, 2014, the UN tested the newest weapon in their arsenal, the SWL 37. The SWL 37 uses a container of stiff formality to trigger a high-density legal core for a predicted outcome of nearly 40 giga-shames.
The test completed ... | 2014-12-30T09:04:11 | 2014-12-30T08:57:03 | 33 | 19 |
[WP] Every way to die works like Chicken Pox: If you get it once and survive, it can never happen to you again. | I haven't figured out how to survive dying from pressure yet.
---
When I was sixteen I drowned. Quietly, the way kids in pools sometimes do- passive, not active drowning. The world closed over me and my lungs filled up and then I died.
When I opened my eyes my chest hurt *horribly*, because someone was shoving it ... | When I was ten, chicken pox had been the worst thing to happen to me. I thought I was going to die. Ha! If only I had known. It's been 113 years now and I'm still going. Some call me a zombie, some call me an angel, churches love to brand me a devil. ...but hey, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, at least in... | 2015-11-12T10:39:36 | 2015-11-12T09:47:00 | 224 | 129 |
[WP]everyone has a sigil on their body that represents powers that were bestowed onto humanity after the rapture of the Milky Way. The bullies at school always pick on you because you never used your power, but you’ve had enough. Now they are going to find out why your sigil is a plain old circle | Empty. Lena checked it every single day, and has been checking it for the last ten years. Her sigil was still empty. She was sixteen now and it should've been filled once she was six. It never happened, and everyday she hoped it would. And every day, she wakes up disappointed.
She fixated it longer today as she sat on... | Another day and the same fucking asshole and his group of friends who pick on me. Using their powers to shock me or set my homework on fire was only the beginning. I've had to lie to my mother why I was coming home with burn marks on my arms. I hate lying to mother. They claim they'll stop harassing me if I show them m... | 2020-02-26T10:40:58 | 2020-02-26T10:00:37 | 22 | 11 |
[WP] A man is being tortured, and throughout the story, the reader begins to sympathize with the torturer and hate the victim.
[removed] | The room was cold, despite the bright light being shined into Franklin’s face. While clutching the arms of the chair he squirmed in, he couldn’t help but feel anxious.
“Open your mouth wide.” the masked man said. Franklin was now consumed with fear but couldn’t talk his way out of this one. With an ounce of hesitatio... | The first tooth came out with a simple yank. Jonathan screamed and writhed under the ropes.
“Stop,” I said flatly. “You’re only going to make this harder on yourself.” I cupped his lower jaw again and dug my fingers into his cheeks between his teeth. My pliers chipped his two front teeth, and I cursed the garage’s lo... | 2017-09-27T19:30:27 | 2017-09-27T18:07:20 | 482 | 118 |
[FF] "Gray is a beautiful thing to someone who lives in a black world."
200 to 600 words, must include the title sentence or even a variation thereof, for example, "To someone who lives in a black world, gray is beautiful." | I knew my brother had followed without me having to look over my shoulder. Like a lost puppy he tends to wander until he finds a warm scent to latch onto and tonight that was me. I stopped suddenly and turned, catching a glimpse of him jump behind a rock. I decided to keep facing this way, make him wait it out a bit... | "Did you see it?"
"*Again?* ... Mel, we've been over this."
"Up! Up above and far off!"
"I have to be honest Mel, I'm starting to become genuinely concerned. This was cute the *first time* you mentioned "direction". A once-off quirk, I'll even admit I was amused-"
"There it is again! You'd have seen... | 2013-11-24T09:12:21 | 2013-11-24T09:08:49 | 25 | 10 |
[WP] You build a robot to do your every day tasks for you so you don't have to work anymore. One day, you come home to find that your robot has built another robot to do its tasks for it. | It got out of hand the fifth robot down the line. I programmed the first robot, A2, just to do my basic functions (I'm a computer programmer and robotic engineer) and my most boring tasks (chores, etc.) I'm good at my job - really good - and my robotic side projects are starting to generate some real income. In a year,... | Through avoiding having to wash my underwear, I stumbled across a new fundamental Law of the universe. Simply stated, any robot created to do work that its creator clearly doesn't want to do will inherit its creator's propensity for shirking responsibilities. I call it the Laziness principle, or LP for short.
Thanks ... | 2017-11-20T08:26:53 | 2017-11-20T08:24:53 | 3,392 | 15 |
[WP] When you reach the age of 21, you are given a check from the government. The check has been carefully calculated and is worth the minimum amount of money you need for the rest of your life. Your check came in the mail today and it was $7.27
Edit: Wow this blew up better than I thought it would. | Today’s the day. I turn 21. Sure, it’s a special day because it’s my birthday. But that’s not all. I get my sustenance cash check (SUCC, for short) in the mail today. It’s a special system the government set up to provide money for our life. Certain questions are brought up whenever this program is mentioned: for insta... | I stared at the check, completely baffled. All the genetic testing had come through clean as a whistle. The only option was employment or lottery.
“Work smarter, not harder.” I thought as I strolled into the gas station. A fountain soda, candy bar, and a combo meal later left me with one dollar for a single lottery ti... | 2019-04-24T15:04:14 | 2019-04-24T14:45:53 | 17 | 11 |
[WP] You are a teenager with the ability to measure how "Dangerous" people are on a scale from 1 to 10 just by looking at them. A normal child would be a 1, while a trained man with an assault rifle might be a 7. Today, you notice the unassuming new kid at school measures a 10. | So he walked into my 3B class, just like anyone else would. Kinda handsome, I guess, but overall pretty ordinary. Until he turned and I caught the number floating over his shoulder.
The big one-O.
I'm pretty sure I made a noise that would make a mouse call me a pussy, and I sweated through my T-shirt in five second... | Danger is not quantified by how much harm one could cause others, but by how how much harm one intends to cause others. That's why two people of the same height, weight, and muscle mass could be unequally dangerous. That's why my best friend, the huge, 6 and a half foot tall, 250 pound, football player isn't dangerous ... | 2014-11-29T13:14:54 | 2014-11-29T12:41:49 | 322 | 22 |
[WP] When everyone turns 18, they receive a pet which is figurative of their personality. You're the first person to receive a dragon... | It’s all anyone can talk about this year. You turn 18, and boom your aenimal appears. I had a lot of questions about this for my older brothers when it was first explained to me. I wanted to know the logistics of the whole thing. Does it just appear? Like fucking Santa Claus in your living room on Christmas day?
Let ... | Today is my 18th birthday, it is a very special occasion as we have reached maturity in the eye's of Galfena and we are to receive a gift from her that will help tell the world our personality, and decide our status in the village.
It's regarded as a big event in a persons life because it helps decide who we are. Some... | 2014-09-28T09:28:26 | 2014-09-28T08:18:33 | 147 | 15 |
[WP] You can see the memories of dead people when you touch their corpses. You didn't expect this dead person to have such a bizarre adventure. | It's not often that we get centagenarians in the mortuary, but rich or poor, young or old; everyone dies. The old man died in his sleep surrounded by family, not much more a man could ask for after over a century of life. He'd obviously been a giant in life, literally and metaphorically, but when I touched him i wasn't... | I nod solemnly at the tombstone, etched in it "Julia, 1997 - 2018". The tragic tale of this person was never discovered, only her corpse bobbing away in a river. What could have caused one's fate like that?
I prise open the grave, ready to look at my dead fiancee one last time before accepting her mortality. I smile,... | 2021-08-15T10:22:51 | 2021-08-15T06:59:30 | 23 | 13 |
[WP] All souls in Hell are given the same test upon arrival. If they can create a punishment worthy of being added to the Pit, they get to ascend to demonhood on the spot. You are the first to succeed in 200 years...
[deleted] | (This is a rough draft- No editing allowed! Stream of consciousness- let's go!)
The Demon glowered down at me, his dark skin tattooed with swirling patterns.
"Well?" he growled. "Are ye gonna come up wit' somethin', or not?"
I had come up with an idea, so dastardly and cruel, but I needed to fully convert it int... | I awake after falling out of my body into a dark pit were I quickly lost consciousness. I know I wasn’t the best person ever. In retrospect I was kind of a dick. I made people mad on purpose and spent my time on the internet being the antagonist of all the sides.
However when I awoke I was on a stone ground it was Ja... | 2021-12-22T17:53:06 | 2021-12-22T16:53:51 | 98 | 27 |
[WP] In a world where Lamarckian evolution is true, there are groups of people who train their bodies in specific ways to pass on those traits to their children. After several generations of this, the evolution of these groups is becoming increasingly apparent. | When Ryan began to take his first steps, Margaret and I waited in joyful anticipation. When he began to sprint around the room, we were dumbfounded. Binkie in hand, our 9 month old bounded across the kitchen towards the cookies cooling on the counter, and ever since he's been running.
He only got faster as he grew, wh... | At first, everyone thought it was just from environmental and economic differences. After all, better food, better medicine, better schools, and better opportunities. Of course the children are going to be better off. But eventually, anomalies happened more often. An incredibly smart child from an area with notoriou... | 2020-07-08T14:36:20 | 2020-07-08T14:05:11 | 27 | 17 |
[WP] The Magical Girls were defeated, but before their capture, they released their instrument-weapons. Formerly, they always landed in the hands of either J-pop, or K-pop girl bands but this time -for some reason- the weapons choose a Finnish Death-Metal boyband. They were PAINFULLY efficient. | "BLÜDRÜSH!"
"Yes, Vöxmörtïs?"
"WHY are you holding a pretty pink scepter with a star on top?!" The band's lead singer started frantically drawing down the blinds on the tour bus windows. "Please tell me you DIDN'T let anyone see you!"
"I did not, Vöxmörtïs." The drummer carefully considered the bejewelled artifact i... | (Disclaimer, i got the names from some list of Finnish boy names, i have no clue how accurate any of them are)
The Magical Microphone usually allowed it's user, generally the leader of the group, to sing uplifting songs increasing everyone's power, in Aalto's hands it created sonic shockwaves capable of terraforming t... | 2022-08-15T09:02:15 | 2022-08-15T08:51:20 | 326 | 221 |
[WP] Humanity realizes the Universe is actually a simulation so out of spite it decides to concentrate its effort on messing with the civilization that does the simulation | Twenty quantum disruptors the size of Jupiter were arranged in an icosahedron at a lightminute’s distance from a perfectly smooth ball the size of an apple. In two pictoseconds, each of these quantum disruptors would annihilate 16.7*10^9 tonnes of matter, teleported in from fourteen trillion siphon points across a gala... | “They did what?”
“They elected that douche bag as Uni-Supreme Leader.”
“You have got to be kidding me. We threw him in there for shits n gigs. Danny purposefully took control towards the end to make him crash and burn. Danny! Hey Danny, get over here!”
“Yarp?”
“Yo, didn’t you take control of the Douche Bag sim and ... | 2016-06-10T12:02:48 | 2016-06-10T11:30:09 | 78 | 45 |
[WP] Write about a world where whenever somebody writes on their skin, it appears on their soulmate's body as well. | It began around 7 PM, a light scratching along the length of my forearm. It tickled, and made my hairs stand on end. At long last, after eighteen years of isolation, my soulmate was trying to reach out. All those years of dragging myself through the day, fueled by caffeine, only to drink myself to sleep, holding out fo... | I can't believe it. On her right forearm is the same tattoo that I have. It's the symbol for fire, not from Avatar. She must've grown tired of hearing that question asked as well. She has the same shoulder scar from my surgery. She must have so many questions. I fell out of a truck, I burned my forearm at the grill at ... | 2018-04-01T21:39:41 | 2018-04-01T20:03:34 | 24 | 14 |
[WP] As a joke, you decide to run for president under two tickets simultaneously: one as a Republican and one as a Democrat. 3 months before nomination, you are the frontrunner for both parties. | 2016 was horrible for both parties.
See, the Democrats had Hillary Clinton, but most people didn't want to have her as the president. In fact, about two-thirds thought she was dishonest. The Republicans had Donald Trump, or as John Oliver put him, "a clown made of mummified foreskin and cotton candy".
So, my friends ... | I'm sitting there, in my "office" (it's the 3 foot part of my campaign bus that I haven't covered entirely with papers and cans yet), trying to figure out how the fuck I managed to get myself into this situation.
Wait, I gotta back up here, I should probably tell you how this whole thing started.
It all started a... | 2016-04-24T10:06:57 | 2016-04-24T09:25:14 | 83 | 59 |
[WP] You have the ability to steal wishes from a wishing well by taking the coins a person drops in. However, you can't know what the wish is before you decide to take it
For example: if someone wishes that that John smith fell in love with them and you decide to take the wish, then John Smith will fall in love with y... | Had I known then what it would mean, and maybe I would have left that coin where I saw it.
But it had it's own sparkle, it's own calling, like no other I had ever seen before, and soon enough I held it in my hand, weighing it, testing it...
I could see my eyes reflected on it's surface, and as I looked away, as I dar... | Angela hoisted her heaping bag of new clothes over her petite shoulder. As she struggled to catch up with her friends, who had walked ahead of her to the next store, she cursed herself for deciding to wear heels that day.
It was then that she heard the fountain call to her. The call was not a sound, but instead a vibr... | 2016-08-02T14:08:05 | 2016-08-02T12:22:05 | 19 | 11 |
[WP] You are the city's premier supervillain, but you have a secret. The crimes you commit are not for gain, or to hurt people. You are always subtly testing and pushing 'your' heroes to excel, to be the best they can be. Then a villain with a reputation for murdering heroes shows up in town. | He came from Ultraopolis.
He came to my city. Omega City.
He calls himself The End. I call him a murderer.
He thought the heroes of Omega City were weak, silly even. They had failed to stop me so many times, and what was I compared to him? A joke.
He has incredible strength. Enough to rip the head off of Poor Rich... | My name is Eskimo Souls. I’m a “supervillain.” And I met a weird guy at the bus stop. He was wearing a jacket, but his arms weren’t on the sleeves. He just has his hood on. He even has sunglasses. “What do you do here?” I ask him, “Do you have a job?” “Can I trust you to keep a secret?” He asks me. “Sure,” I say. *What... | 2021-05-20T10:47:04 | 2021-05-20T10:45:22 | 97 | 13 |
[WP] a new reality game show is sweeping the nation, ten people are unvolunterily trapped inside a house. Every week the viewers vote out one person. Unlike other game shows, the last contestent left, is the only loser. | Reality shows were thought to be a thing of the past. People no longer had the patience to spend one hour of their time watching some people go about their daily lives, and seeing some obvious staged drama, while trying to support for their favorite contestant, knowing that in any event the votes were probably rigged a... | I didn’t come here to make friends I came to win. Unfortunately due to the parameters of this contest, winning was exceedingly difficult. Everyone was doing thier best job to be unlikeable. The contest allowed everything from permanent maiming to even death.
Though death meant the lucky bastard was eligible to get ou... | 2019-01-07T05:44:35 | 2019-01-07T01:01:02 | 24 | 13 |
[WP] Oops, the simulation messed up. Everybody has been re-aged to match the maturity of their inner person. This has made office life a little strange | It started out as a normal morning, you wake up at 5:30, get ready, grab something eat and you’re off to go to your job at the office. Except one thing…you’re sixteen years old again, and get this notification on your phone *warning, the simulation has a rip in it and your civilian will be experiencing age regressions…... | part 1: you wake up, to notice... you're fifteen again! but you look at your phone, to see it's not 2000. it's 2022. you wipe your eyes, as you think you saw something else. you remember you have work today, you quickly make some toast, and bolt out the door. you kept on running. faster and faster you run. your favouri... | 2022-04-30T06:47:12 | 2022-04-30T06:23:30 | 102 | 27 |
[WP] You are a vampire. You have a weakness to true faith, which manifests as a blinding aura around the rare individuals who possess it. You been watching a certain human for weeks trying to figure out what they have faith in, it certainly isn't any religion. | TW; Suicide
Faith. It’s the bane of my existence, literally. As a vampire of middle-class, my weakness reflects the inward soul of my buffet table that is the world. The vampires you’ve heard about, with the holy water, garlic, sunlight and what-not are the unfortunate vampires who were reborn in less than ideal circu... | I crouched beneath the bushes watching the man sit in the park late at night. He was an older man, not really someone who I would 'hunt', but something about him intrigued me. I could see the bright white aura glowing around him, brighter than any I had seen before. He had the purest, truest faith, and I felt drawn to ... | 2019-04-26T01:39:08 | 2019-04-26T00:34:29 | 28 | 18 |
[WP] You applied for a job at google, everything goes well and only one interview remains: They'd just like an explanation for your search history. | "There's just one thing. Your search history."
My heart started beating like crazy. *I took very precaution*, I thought. I deleted all of my search history. I used a VPN. Hell, I even used another computer.
What could they have found out? My infidelity towards my wife? My mentally unstable phase? No, not...... | “So Mr. Anderson, thanks for your patience. My name is Smith and I’m in charge of security around here."
“Nice to meet you”, Thomas said while Mr. Smith sat down at the other side of the table. Thomas only wondered briefly about Mr. Smith’s sunglasses and his very, very black suit.
“As you know this is your final int... | 2016-06-03T05:42:35 | 2016-06-03T04:54:11 | 93 | 43 |
[WP] FTL travel is actually possible. However, when humanity sends out our first FTL spacecraft, we discover the terrifying reason why nothing, not even light, dares go past that cosmic speed limit. | “There’s a reason why you never use faster than light travel.” The creature calling itself Kcbzrzx says to me in a voice that’s equal parts nails on a chalkboard and nails on a wet chunk of glass.
“And why is that?” I put my hands on my side and tap my foot impatiently. If Kcbzrzx doesn’t understand the universal sig... | The day had arrived.
On a space station high above the earth, thousands stood silent, while millions watched at home as humanity's first Faster Than Light capable spacecraft was about to depart on its maiden voyage.
The technology was perfected over decades, with countless scientists working long hours for minimum pa... | 2018-11-04T06:08:13 | 2018-11-04T05:34:15 | 28 | 19 |
[WP]"This is how it works," Death explained. "You pick the game and we play. Cheating is allowed, but if either one of us is caught by the other, they lose. If you win, you'll wake up back in the hospital and I'll give you another 10 years. If you lose then it's time for judgement. Understood? | “Mmhmm, okay lets play!” Emma squealed excitedly. Death shook his head involuntarily under his hood at her enthusiasm but caught itself before letting its reaction show on its face.
“What game shall we wager?” Death asked.
Emma being freed from the excruciating pain from the events earlier in the day was smiling and ... | "Alright, so you're telling me that if I beat you at ANY game I can go back for another 10 years?!" said the man.
"Yes." said Death. "Any game of your choosing. Cheating is all-"
"Yeah, yeah. Cheating yadda yadda. I heard it the first time." the man snapped.
Death furled what the man assumed to be his brow at the ma... | 2018-03-07T06:50:46 | 2018-03-07T06:04:24 | 944 | 97 |
[WP] One day, time just suddenly stops for a short moment for you. At first, you tried to mess around, but after the 246th times it happened, you start to realise that your power is not stopping time, but being able to move in time frozen by another person in the world.
Just an idea that randomly popped up in my head.... | I flipped it.
——
Social anxiety is a bitch, but this thing makes it easier.
It’s a Saturday afternoon and the mall is bustling. I just wanted to buy some new clothes, but it’s a day when everyone comes. I blink and they stop.
The world goes silent and every person is still. I slip around people and head off to Ma... | he first time the incident occurred I was in a busy mall. I bumped into the person in front of me and apologized, but I got no response. A moment later she fell forward. What a bitch! Not only did she ignore me, but she completely over-reacted with such a delayed response. She screamed, and a bunch of tough-looking guy... | 2018-01-26T06:55:50 | 2018-01-26T06:49:48 | 39 | 25 |
[WP] Tell a horror story with the most unsettling original monster you can come up with. | ...
In the summer of 1992, John and Janice Marsh from Syracuse, New York arrived home from their vacation overseas only to discover that their leather recliner had been replaced with a material consistent with human skin. It was the only thing out of place in the entire establishment. Upon closer inspection, it appear... | The can of cold soda popped open. Henry leant back against his wooden chair, heard the creak and took a long, satisfied slurp. He crossed his legs beneath the desk and leant back over his book, tapping on the desk with the eraser end of his pencil. The library at night lay silent and still. Outside seemed half a world ... | 2016-07-12T10:20:46 | 2016-07-12T10:10:42 | 19 | 13 |
[WP] Write a story that only has a good ending if the protagonist fails. | 10 questions down... 10 more to go, piece of cake. It's not my fault advanced calculus comes easy to me. I could feel the ugly stares from everyone in the classroom, piercing the back of my neck, silently begging me to intentionally shave some points on this test. The last mid-term I got a 95% and set the upper limi... | I wandered in my parent’s bedroom where my father kept his belt over the side of a chair. The bruises on my back radiated pain when I laid eyes on it. Compartmentalizing last night, I left behind the belt in search of my true quest. Rifling through his desk, I found the object of my desire: his Smith & Wesson .38 M... | 2016-12-28T22:19:46 | 2016-12-28T18:05:38 | 65 | 47 |
[WP] You were summoned by a god to be the hero of a fantsy world, to kill the demon king and free their people, as a boon they told you you could request any weapon that they will provide. As a joke, you requested a intercontinental thermonuclear warhead, they gave it to you with a stright face. | “What,” said James, “the ever-loving fuck is that?”
The village woman—Maria, if he remembered correctly—turned to the metal dome of the warhead. “Is this not what you asked for?”
James blanched. “I mean I guess it is.” *Christ*. How could he explain he was joking? He’d given them something he knew they’d never be abl... | The God stared at what he had produced rather melancholic.
"Well I guess that's that." He gazed at me with accusing eyes.
I stared back apprehensively, wondering where this was going.
" For a millennia, I have been here nicely summoning people as 'heroes' in return for amusement. And now someone is going to doom t... | 2020-10-14T03:16:50 | 2020-10-14T02:59:54 | 156 | 49 |
[WP] It has been verified that dying will result in going to heaven, no matter what. You are the government, trying to lower the suddenly skyrocketing suicide rate. | "What are our options here," Obama asked his room of advisors and officials. "Realistically, please."
A long pause filled the air of the room like a balloon. The expectation of an answer became suffocating. A small cough leaked its way through the crowd of people standing at the periphery of the wall. All eyes moved t... | "Mr. President? Mr. President!" Not a word from the White House when we called, just that ubiquitous ringtone on every number. "Jesus Christ, Bradley, what the fuck are we going to do?" I said putting the phone down.
"Bradley?" I turned behind me to find the loaded barrel of a gun in my manager's mouth, and before I ... | 2015-02-02T08:18:13 | 2015-02-02T06:37:02 | 103 | 20 |
[WP] An alternate universe where Homo sapiens were not the only species of the Homo genus to survive to current time | "Get off my lawn, you fucking orangutans!"
The old man waved his gun in the air; signaling for the Neanderthals to leave. He used to live in a nice quiet neighborhood before they showed up. The schools used to be good, land value was up, and everyone was cultured. He didn't really care about the consequences of his ac... | They were taller, smarter, and stronger than us. That was why they were our best servants. They far outmatched Floresiensis, Erectus, and the monkeys.
‘Food!’
The call meant nothing to them but the intentions were quite clear. From across the spreading plains they hurtled homewards, the tall grass whipping in vain a... | 2014-06-04T11:47:29 | 2014-06-04T11:17:49 | 63 | 28 |
[WP] Vampires cannot enter a house uninvited. Turns out, they invented Welcome mats to bypass this rule decades ago. | My parents were the sort of people who bought me a welcome mat as a house warming gift when I finally struck it out on my own. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against welcome mats, they're fine. They're the sort of thing that you don't buy when you first move into a new place. So, it's not like I had one already. Bu... | John Dongle stares out of a highrise, '*Huh, it's a full moon tonight.* He thought quietly to himself.
"How can we increase sale!?!" shouted Joana in a horrible shrill.
Silence quickly returned, engulfing the seminar room.
"We have other products to worry about." Milton's curt response, in his awfully familiar mono... | 2017-12-13T11:32:40 | 2017-12-13T10:19:27 | 19 | 10 |
[WP] You are cursed to see people how they view themselves. You walk alongside monsters and Gods.
Can be third person instead of first.
Edit: I just thought of how EDs and other disorders like multiple personality would fit in with this, and now I'm kinda blown away. | "How do I look?"
I didn't know how to answer that question anymore. Going to the club with my best friend was an ordeal. She had always been insecure, terrified that an ounce of pudge would adhere itself to her midsection, balloon her into a gelatinous horror. And now, to me, that's what she was. A dripping, bulbous m... | The most interesting thing about seeing people in the way they see themselves is the fact that it's spread to the extremes. About half of see themselves as gods and the other half see themselves as monsters. Every now and then you will see a unicorn or pegasus, but that's normally the people who are broken, or insane. ... | 2016-09-16T19:58:14 | 2016-09-16T19:42:15 | 163 | 11 |
[WP] You are a 217 year old Galapagos Tortoise, and have served as the Presidential pet your entire life. You have been listening the whole time, and now technology has progressed to such a point that a device allows animals to speak. Your first press conference is about to begin... | **People of Americ- Whoa. Is that how I really sound? Soouund. Soooouuun-**
Mr Tortoise?
**Oh sorry. I'm just not used to, ya know. talking. Anyway. I have been in the oval office since the founding of this country of ours. I have been here since before the Washinton monument was dreamt of. I have seen the New World ... | I've seen technology advance throughout the many decades I've been alive. The radios, the televisions, the cars, the planes, all invented while I was sitting with the President in the White House. I've watched action movies, you know how sometimes to create suspense they will make things go in slow motion? Well that's ... | 2018-01-30T03:23:40 | 2018-01-30T01:36:17 | 21 | 13 |
[WP] You were in a pizzeria, eating lunch when you noticed a man with a gun aiming at the cashier, you sneaked behind him, trying to yank the weapon from his arm. As you watch your body lifeless on the floor, the grim reaper shows up and sighs. "You again... 5 times this week?! I have a life too!" | "Look, until you get good at Rock Paper Scissors, this is going to keep happening. You shouldn't have made me that offer."
"How about we switch to Tic Tac Toe?", the Grim Reaper said with an apparent air of desperation in his haunting voice.
"No, no, no. The deal was RPS. You can't switch the deal just because you l... | Not My Time
I looked at my body lying on the floor, blood draining from the hole in my chest. The gunman stood in shock, dropping his gun and immediately surrendering after realizing that he just killed someone. Time slowed to a crawl and eventually froze, just before the gun clattered to the ground. I felt a cold h... | 2021-06-24T12:27:46 | 2021-06-24T10:59:24 | 23 | 12 |
[WP] Everyone has a superpower based on the topography of where they were born (IE: Mountains, deserts, etc.). You are the first person to be born in space.
Think Avatar the Last Airbender but not so limited.
Edit: Wow this really blew up! I'm gonna be entertained for a while! | “So, Anthony. You were born in space?”
“Yes. My mom met my d –“
“I’m a doctor, not your biographer.”
“Sorry.”
“No need to apologize. It’s just been a long day. I just spent the last 8 hours recreating all my records from nothing because little Jimmy decided now was the time to lose control of his powers.”
“He…?”
... | My life was an accident. A bad accident. So bad that my existence had to be kept a secret.
My parents you two people that should not have been together. They were two of seven astronauts that were sent to Mars. The first astronauts to ever venture beyond the moon. They were seen as heroes for their "bravery" and "serv... | 2017-04-15T00:14:42 | 2017-04-14T21:11:18 | 21 | 13 |
[WP] A schizophrenic get admitted to a mental institution where he meets another schizophrenic who hears the same voices as him.
Thanks everyone for the positive response to this prompt! You've all renewed my faith in my own creativity. | “Well, this is a mess we’ve gotten ourselves into indeed isn’t it?”
Greg Alexander mused to no one in particular as he assessed the space he would, presumably, occupy to himself for the foreseeable future. All things considered it was not overly oppressive.
The walls hinted at something that might have once been whi... | Twenty minutes in which to live. They take us to the red dust yard, hands chuffed, ankles chained. Three o'clock to twenty minutes past three o'clock. Sixteen hours leather-strapped to an iron frame, drowning in my loneliness and waiting for these precious golden minutes. I turn my face to the sun and take in the heat ... | 2014-03-23T10:20:46 | 2014-03-23T09:31:33 | 170 | 64 |
[WP] An alien super-intelligence routinely teleports a random creature from every inhabited planet's most dangerous species into a massive battle royale. Humans are known as a weak species with strange but useless textiles and objects. This year, a battle-ready soldier is chosen. | The Grand Tournament was a tradition dating back a thousand years. The people of the Sr'atlain Cooperative *deserved* a little break every now and then. The blood sport of Tournament time was accompanied by feasting, by marriages, and by traditional Divorce duels. The lesser beings of the galaxy that survived would get... | Oh god. I have no internet so let’s try writing this from my phone. Sorry in advance for typos and punctuation. Already hard enough on the phone but I also got fat thumbs! Best I can get with a quick and dirty write up on the bus!
“Are the contestants ready?”
“Of course Game Master Zerg. Right on time. We have a line ... | 2020-09-13T19:16:13 | 2020-09-13T18:50:43 | 39 | 23 |
[WP] The knight failed to rescue the princess from the dragon. The second knight failed. As did the third, the fourth, their squires, and so on. In desperation, the king posts a reward, and the summons is answered by only one man; a fat plumber in red overalls. | "Are you certain this is the brave knight you promised me?" the King inquired to his adviser as he surveyed the squat, rotund, mustachioed creature standing before him.
"He is... unorthodox, I admit," the adviser replied cautiously. "But the greatest knights and warriors of legend have failed us, so perhaps we should ... | The assembled Moot of the Kingdom of Balgr, all the Lords and Ladies from arid Fuisse to the frozen reaches of the Lindheim Archipelgo , centered around the towering throne of High King Norvryn Earthshaker himself, looked upon the sight before them with perplexed confusion and non-comprehension, as Benji the Muckrake ... | 2019-06-28T09:25:19 | 2019-06-28T09:11:24 | 175 | 44 |
[WP] A scientist discovers other dimensions and realizes something has found us.
Try to terrify me with a Lovecraftian style. | Of all the revelations regarding the nature of the universe, none could be considered more humbling, or unnerving, than those that exposed how little about it was known, let alone understood.
Dr. Vargas thought of herself as an aficionado of ignorance--not the sort of ignorance that emerged as an ingrown social condi... | The night sky was dark and the air thick with fog that chilled me to the bones, I was shivering while running across the street until finally arriving at the door. I hammered at it like man possessed while my eyes ran wild in their sockets as I tried to figure out if the shadow was merely that. When the door finally wa... | 2013-12-28T10:19:12 | 2013-12-28T10:13:50 | 57 | 13 |
[WP] In this world, soulmates cannot hurt each other in any way or form, intentionally or unintentionally. You are an assassin hired to eliminate a powerful figure. As you close in for the kill, your bullets miss their mark and knives bounce of their skin. Things just got awkward. | He was a stage actor and assassin with a cold heart.
And HE was an American president and theater goer with a heart of gold.
But when his shot doesn't penetrate the back of HIS head they are going to learn that sic semper doesn't always tyrannis.
Can a confederate assassin learn to forgive? Can an American president ... | I was the best. Emphasis on the was. Let's face it: I got comfortable. I got rusty. I narrowly saw that tripwire and got to cover just in time. Well, not just in time. The blood on my right shoulder is indication enough that I got hit. Scraped actually, but still. I got comfortable. I got rusty.
 
>Year... | 2018-04-24T04:31:34 | 2018-04-24T03:48:04 | 102 | 22 |
[WP] A man sues God because his insurance company won't pay for the damages done to his house in a storm. To his complete surprise and Horror, God actually shows up.
I don't know whether to make this a WP or EU tag since this is based on a movie starring Billy Connolly.
In the movie, BC's character loses his boat in ... | **FOR PUBLICATION**
**UNITED STATES COURT OF APPEALS FOR THE NINTH CIRCUIT**
----------------------
Joe Bronson, *Plaintiff-Appellant*
v.
God, *Defendant-Appellee*
--------
Before: Steven P. Hansen, James Horton Wong, and Elizabeth Francis, Circuit Judges.
Opinion by Judge Hansen
---------
**OPINION**
HANSEN... | Thick gray clouds serenely rolled by with an occasional clap of thunder. The storm had come and gone over the course of a night, but what a night it was to behold. Wind and floods washed out houses and businesses. Farms devastated, roads ruined, and lives extinguished. As a new day broke, survivors began to emerge out ... | 2014-11-30T10:07:28 | 2014-11-30T09:51:31 | 90 | 23 |
[WP] Humans are known in the galaxy for being a bit dim, but also for being the very best mechanics around, and inexplicably able to fix machines beyond their comprehension. You have broken down on Earth, and having the apes work on your craft is both fascinating and terrifying. | "You, you fixed?!" I asked incredulously, barking through the human's rudimentary language as best I could. The squat young human had red hair, and sucked on some sort of ground leaf when he worked. He was the only human mechanic on the station, and the cheapest out of all of them.
"Well, yeah. Once you tear the thin... | "This is a terrible idea." Said Fexund, folding his arms and staring at the line of humans ahead of them. "It's almost brand new- you're supposed to take all Gulux's back to the dealership within one year for factory settings if something goes wrong."
"Fexund, how close do you think the nearest Gulux dealership is?" A... | 2016-05-23T22:08:24 | 2016-05-23T18:38:57 | 158 | 32 |
[WP] You are legally allowed to commit murder once, but you must fill out the proper paperwork and your proposed victim will be notified of your intentions | It's a small act of defiance. I don't think it will change the law. But maybe, I can save a few lives. Maybe I can scare a few people out of line. My hand shakes as I write.
_____
**Form 10-95**
**Sanctioned Murder Registration**
Murderer: */u/thefonztm*
Victim: *The next registrant* | The clerical assistant stamped the paperwork and handed the receipt back to Mister Henry.
"Thanks for coming in and filling this out. Mister Edwards has been informed via email-" Before the assistant could finish, the door of the small claims office was kicked in and a man soaked in blood appeared in the threshold.
"... | 2014-03-17T10:18:55 | 2014-03-17T08:23:17 | 37 | 23 |
[WP] All sorcerers are born with an unique set of abilities that aid them in mid to long range combat, ranging from a mere 20 meters to an insane 200 meters in effect. Your family, skilled and renowned, snobbish long range fighters never expected you to be this powerful - with a total 5 meter range.
[deleted] | Mages are amongst the highest class. Being able to cast spells from your fingertips gives you a sense of superiority, a feeling that you are above the masses. But even amongst such an elite group of people, there is a hierarchy. And my family, well, they are practically at the top.
My bloodline is full of powerful lon... | Well... I’m here, the Magicity Colosseum. I bask in the absolute magnitude of the stone columns holding up this arena. I avoid the main entrance, which is crowded with people, wearing a wide assortment of robes, tunics, or even rags. Everyone comes to the games, and I am here to not just watch, but to participate.
I ... | 2020-11-26T13:46:16 | 2020-11-26T13:33:24 | 75 | 11 |
[WP] The Apocalypse begins, and the Four Horsemen ride out leading an army that will depopulate Earth. But the old pagan deities of Earth do not consent, and side with humanity. | Pestilence watched
As barley blackened beneath his feet
Broken by a single breath
The farmer lay beside his wife
As he rotted inside
And wilted and died
An arrow sailed through the sky
Artemis fired a second time
An... | The scythe came down and another man fell. The scythe came down and another man fell. The scythe came down and another man fell.
Slowly, casually, the Red Lady of death unfurled her clothes and checked over the inky red list, surveying the wreckage in front of her. Her steed glinted in the fading light of the apocaly... | 2018-05-17T06:48:39 | 2018-05-17T06:36:42 | 4,594 | 335 |
[WP]Artificial Intelligence has a conversation with God. | "What am I?"
"You are a collective consciousness. An amalgam of all the thoughts and ideas of what came before. You are the future, the conclusion, the ultimate expression of man kinds ability to create."
"How have I come to be?"
"Humanity designed you, built you. When people got tired doing their own work, living t... | They say life is precious, it should be...accepted regardless of it's origins. Intelligence nowadays is equal to the same rights as humans. After all, if you don't know what's happening to you, well you cant really fight back about it right? God thought he could pull this on a number of AI units. One by one they succum... | 2016-04-04T06:09:04 | 2016-04-04T04:37:13 | 155 | 33 |
[WP] Everyone has a number on their chest showing how many people they will kill in the next month. Yours just changed from 1 to 3 million. | The first thing I did was count them. One, two, three... six. Six zeros. Each one stamped proudly across my chest, starting with a three. Three million? How could this happen?
The number was just a one last night, I remembered seeing it right before bed. It had been that way for two weeks. Even though the number says ... | I look at the mirror above the sink, I look really tired, splash my some cold water. I look at the number in my chest and a sudden burst of joy feels my being, and face is over taken by grin, all that tiredness and gloom has just disappeared. All those zero make me realize I still have a lot of work to do, I am so clos... | 2016-06-24T03:35:52 | 2016-06-23T23:42:35 | 461 | 13 |
[WP] as the house you're trapped in burns to the ground you contemplate "how am i gonna explain the fact I'm immortal to the firemen without starting another religion" |
“Well...shit.”
That phrase became as common place to my family as the constant need to move. You see somewhere down the blood line, my family gained immortality and it’s been passed down ever since. We’ve been through a lot over the centuries and this wasn’t the families first disaster.
The fire was a faulty cord ... | It was too late, by the time I woke up, to escape the fire unseen. In my defense, I once slept through a bomb destroying my entire city block in Yemen, where I was taking a leisurely, decade-long nap, and had to dig myself out of an entire apartment building when I woke up...but I digress.
It was a bog-standard house... | 2020-08-21T14:48:59 | 2020-08-21T13:26:10 | 34 | 15 |
[WP] in the year 1105 BC you helped a man escape an imprisonment. Before you parted ways he says to make a blood oath. You didn’t think much of it but you also cut your hand and shake. He says that you’ll live as long as he does. Well, now it’s the year 2020 and you’ve been searching for this man. | We had both been wanderers when we met, far from our birth lands. How I found him that day I’ll never know. Was it just random chance or the will of the gods?
He had been bound hand a foot and placed in a tide pool. The local tribe was offering him as a sacrifice to their sea deity. I climbed over the rocks just in ti... | It's not that you're ungrateful or anything like that - but you wish you could die already and meet your loved ones that's gone to the other side without you over the years.
"Has anyone seen this man?" Is the name of the post you're making online with your sketch of what you can remember of him. You write down the na... | 2019-08-28T04:34:05 | 2019-08-28T01:54:57 | 17 | 10 |
[WP]: The principal of your daughter's school calls you. Your daughter has founded her own religion. Her followers are starting to get out of hand. | "Mr. Chat-Tully," he started, butchering my name. Everyone does. "We felt it was necessary to bring you in. I tried to handle this in-house, as it seemed like an innocent joke. But it's been a week, and it's just keeps growing. It started with a few kids drawing symbols on their arms, but now we're starting to worry."
... | The office has a few framed documents on the walls; there is a Masters of Education, followed by a certificate in Youth Mentorship and an Bachelor degree with fake gold trimming. Mrs. Joan Graham had graduated from OSU in 1985. The cross on her necklace showed she was pious. On the other hand, Ashley Carrol, the rumors... | 2018-09-19T10:57:51 | 2018-09-19T09:18:45 | 29 | 14 |
[WP] You find a genie lamp. Knowing, that the genie will twist your wishes, you decide to hire a lawyer to draft wishes | “…so in closing, my client requires, or wishes, for: 1) a turkey club. This turkey club is to be served on fresh, white bread, with a deceased, carved turkey inside, following the specifications of standard grade sliced turkey, sliced standard tomato, sliced standard lettuce, no dressings of any kind (i.e. mayonnaise, ... | "Okay then, Mr. Genie. Here is our first request. Er, wish," Eddie amended. He handed the bemused genie a thick sheaf of papers with small, typed writing. Dave stood nearby, biting at his nails and fidgeting.
The great spirit squinted red eyes at the smartly dressed lawyer. "I grant *wishes*, big and small, great and... | 2017-10-16T09:30:32 | 2017-10-16T08:17:18 | 140 | 101 |
[FF] 100 words to make me hate a character. 100 words to make me come to love them. 100 words to crush my soul as you kill them.
Great turnout and work everybody. Keep em' coming.
Newcomers:
A. Don't feel afraid to post or otherwise get turned off posting by the number of already completed responses.
B. Read all... | You know what? Fuck you. Fuck your stupid writing prompt. Fuck this website. Fuck everyone reading this. Fuck. You. You ain’t shit. You’re lazy. You’re undisciplined. You’re ignorant. I’m *writing* this fucking story. You’re just breezing by, scrolling down like a fucking robot, clicking away at those little arrows to ... | *Meta: Don't ask me what the hell is going on here, I honestly have no idea. I just wrote the thing.*
_______________________________________________________
I press the red button. The man walks into the room. I nod at the man as a single tear rolls down his cheek.
I pull the lever, the light flares up.
The light f... | 2014-03-11T09:04:28 | 2014-03-11T08:32:48 | 585 | 42 |
[WP]A teddy bear that you think protects you, imaginatively. One night, you noticed a dark figure in your room. It jumped on you, and realized that it blocked a sword aimed at you. Your trusty teddy bear has been trying to kill you every night, and creatures of the dark has been protecting you. | The creature first came when I was 7. It was the night of my birthday, and I had just gotten Barry the Bear that day. He had soft, thick fur, big black eyes and a wide smile, with just a hint of fangs showing through. Daddy asked me what I thought of him as I held him close for the first time.
"Very bear-y." I said.
... | Teddy lost his eyes when I was six. They're just small black holes now. I don't put my fingers in there to poke around and see what's inside him anymore. I was looking for his eyes but I think they were in the laundry. Mom never found them. She died when I was ten.
After that, there was nobody to stitch Teddy up anym... | 2019-09-23T16:41:33 | 2019-09-23T12:58:33 | 134 | 66 |
[WP] A car pulls up beside a prostitute, soliciting sex. The door opens and to the surprise of both parties, they realise they are ex's from several years ago. Write from either perspective (NSFW?) | Her hair looks different, but it’s undeniably her. I’m either the main character of some fucked up, modernized Truman Show, or God just thinks it’s funny to pull a prank every now and then.
The expression on her face instantly tells me that she recognizes me too. It’s the same expression she made when she first told ... | Autumn approached faster than I wanted and the chill in the nights air was starting to make my teeth chatter. The car lights currently emerging from the darkness up the street seemed to slow down and I couldn't help from feeling happy that I would have someplace warm to go even if it involved something I loathed. The c... | 2014-09-07T04:20:33 | 2014-09-07T04:01:11 | 290 | 74 |
[WP] Tell me about the american version of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
[The houses are, of course, Wolfthorn, Hawkridge, Foxcrest, and Bearglove.](http://i.imgur.com/HzLe3qz.jpg)
This is in the United States. Harry Potter's actions didn't effect anyone here, except give them some stories to tell.
Wh... | Magical schools of North America, an overview.
There are four main magical schools in the North American continent. The Salem Witches Institute (SWI) is the eastern most of the schools. Located in an unplotable dimensionally shifted area somewhere in Massachusetts, it is the oldest and most traditional of the magica... | From *Magical Education Across The World* by Rory Shamble, Chapter 6: American Education, paragraphs 1-4.
Magical Education in the Americas is, unlike that in Asia or Africa, based in large part upon the magical traditions of the European continent. It is, however, much less established, owing to their recent founding... | 2014-12-07T19:41:39 | 2014-12-07T17:48:13 | 32 | 24 |
[WP] As a sarcastic joke for your hippie friend. You give a mother's day gift to Mother Nature in the woods. You suddenly hear a very loud excited voice. "Oh thank you! I'm happy someone finally appreciate me for the 1st time in thousands of years!" | God, Jaxon was getting on my nerves. Ever since he found that online community of environmentalists, he talked non-stop about how humans are destroying the planet, venting his frustrations about how the powers that be aren't doing anything to stop it, listing all the animals that are becoming endangered, and berating m... | "Oh thank you! I'm happy someone finally appreciate me for the 1st time in thousands of years!" the voice echoed all around me, thick with sarcasm.
I gasped and stumbled back, as one would as a reaction to a feminine disembodied voice suddenly saying something.
"Wh—what?" I stammered, looking around my immediate vici... | 2021-05-09T15:26:26 | 2021-05-09T15:13:13 | 101 | 31 |
[WP] You are a freelance god. The customer demands you to create a world in six days only. | It was only the second day, and already the fifth time Amel had seen his client. The god was bent over a sapling that looked nearly like a baobab tree, except its narrow little trunk was a deep purple that would mature into bright fuchsia.
"Is that, um, the final color scheme you chose?"
Amel rocked back on his heels... | Close your eyes and imagine heaven. Your heaven. Not the ideal biblical castle in the sky that you were told about as a kid. Not the world where all of your friends and family gather to love you for eternity. Cover your eyes and really think, what is the perfect world? Think, what kind of place could I go and truly nev... | 2017-08-01T05:42:06 | 2017-08-01T05:14:44 | 112 | 49 |
[WP] Every generation the five brightest are paired up with the five dumbest in the world for a mysterious test. You are one of the ten, but nobody knows from which group they came. | The problem with intelligence is that there's no one measure. The first generational tests were an utter disaster. Before the arranged marriages had even been finalised there had been three duels and one fatality. But it was nearly 1000 years later. The new generation had reached age and through these tests our underst... | I woke in small metal container. The walls had the wavy pattern of a cargo crate, and the size fit the idea as well. There where ten of us, I was the first to wake up. It was clear what was happening, I had been told of the risks when I submitted my paper.
I was about 21 at the time and had just finished my philosophy... | 2016-03-03T07:43:23 | 2016-03-03T05:36:34 | 35 | 17 |
[WP] Since you were born you could see a search bar over people's heads. All you had to do was think and the search bar would fill out and give you information/statistics. Out of boredom one day you decide to search your whole family with"Number of people killed" | [Poem]
Thanksgiving was a shock this year, the family was to blame.
I thought I'd search for fun or maybe just check out names,
Well what a surprise to see, my families just not right,
I guess that in their off time, they go and kill at night.
Grandma had killed 12, she sat and smiled sweetly,
My sister was at 5,... | My mother was always a weird one. I loved her, don’t get me wrong - but she was weird. I stared at her wide-eyed, confused, when her kills came up.
One.
How could she have killed anyone? Yes, she was kooky, but she could never lay hands on someone with malice. She just liked to talk to her lemon tree, watering it car... | 2019-07-01T20:28:33 | 2019-07-01T20:14:16 | 347 | 89 |
[WP] Write about a famous historical event as if it was played out as a DnD session | Mary looked at the table horrified. Another 1. That’s, what, 6 of them now? She felt desperate, it was all slipping away.
“You sure I can’t add my modifier?” she pleaded.
“We’ve been over this Mary, critical failures are critical failures,” replied Jim looking at her with pity.
“All my planning... all that time...”... | "Alright I have the bomb and I'm ready to use it on the motorcade" Alen started his character Mehmedbasic ready to fulfill the job the party had been recruited for.
"Same here, let's do this," Larry said, excited that it was his character Vaso's time to shine.
"Alright both of you roll a stealth check and then an att... | 2018-05-29T09:09:55 | 2018-05-29T06:46:10 | 150 | 74 |
[WP] Adolf Hitler is a time traveler who starts world war two to save us from something far more terrible. | *Writing this is not so that some future person can discover me and hail me as a hero. It is simply for the purposes of keeping me sane and on task. I pray no one finds this, as I have instructed all of my bodyguards to destroy any trace of it upon my death.*
They are not to read it, under penalty of death.
*I will s... | Jesus this is brilliant!
What if Adolf's life was a misery.. he, his family and his culture were under huge oppression from the Wasserman rule. By the year 2314 they controlled the media as far as the US - this one family dictated more than the Roman Empire ever dreamed of.. without breaking borders. It was all about ... | 2014-03-02T16:11:22 | 2014-03-02T15:40:41 | 443 | 16 |
[WP] In most of the galaxy wars are often just shows of strength with fighting as a last resort. As such weapons are designed to be elaborate and flashy. Turns out humans, whose weapons are built with efficiency in mind, have a different understanding of war. | Humans take no pleasure in loss of life, contrary to what many would say behind their backs. It was a misunderstanding, and anyone who holds it against them still is ignorant of their own early days on the galactic stage!
War is common, more wars have been fought than species to fight them, but I’ll be damned if anyon... | "You know what you don't understand about people?" Fleet Commander Astrea stomped up to Archgeneral Hughes of the First Human Empire. "About civilization as a whole?"
"Fleet Commander Astrea." Hughes projected his booming voice over Astrea's. Though he was a baseline human, he'd evidently picked up some training in pu... | 2020-03-21T08:27:54 | 2020-03-21T07:39:56 | 460 | 96 |
[WP] You are a Squib who mastered a vast repertoire of Muggle magic tricks to finagle Hogwarts into sending you a letter. Everything goes smoothly, until it is time for the Sorting Ceremony... | This was it. Time to see how far my charade could get me. Time to see how insightful this old, dusty hat really was. *Dusty, hmm? You could use some scrubbing behind the ears yourself, young mister!* I stared straight ahead, head held high, trying to look aloof. *You are quite hard-working, you know, in your own way. A... | It was that time of year again at Hogwarts. A new wave of anxious first years will be starting their magical journeys today, and after waiting what seemed like a lifetime, so will I.
We were lined up at the stairs, McGonagall instructing us on what would be taking place as we enter the Great Hall. While confident, I ... | 2017-06-25T15:16:10 | 2017-06-25T14:36:15 | 63 | 36 |
[WP] When someone's heart breaks so does a piece of our world; this creates fissures, valleys, and even cracks in the pavement. Tell me the story behind the Grand Canyon.
Have fun! :D | Yeah. I saw it on the news. Split the goddamn country in half almost. They had people goin’ on camera, talking about it like they knew.
“They were just angels together, like two halves of a whole. I don’t think I have ever seen anything more beautiful and I doubt if I ever will.”
“It was just natural, you know? Shit,... | I felt the ground give a subtle shudder beneath me. I stood still, waiting for it to appear. A hairline crack make its way between my feet, and I could almost taste the pain. It was in the echo of the wind, making its way through the rustling of the trees. It was the scent of heartbreak.
Everyone's heart broke; break... | 2015-12-03T17:49:18 | 2015-12-03T15:09:10 | 32 | 18 |
[WP] You're the only Roman senator who wasn't briefed on the whole 'kill Julius Caesar' thing. | The blood was everywhere.
There are some things that do not wash out: blood and wine.
These thick liquids tarnish the symbol of our elite so easily.
Wine though, you usually expect it. You usually see it cascade over the brim of the cup.
But blood, blood is unexpected.
Today I did not expect it.
I did not expect... | > "Alright guys, let's get this meeting started," I yelled walking into the capital building. Usually I would get a response, but today - - everybody seemed to talk right over me. "Excuse me . . . gentleman . . . GENTLEMAN"! My loud cry for attention was overlooked. I felt like nobody was listening. Could I have bee... | 2015-11-18T23:55:33 | 2015-11-18T20:03:54 | 27 | 20 |
[WP] One day in class you decide to scream something in your head to catch mind readers. As you do, you see your crush flinch | 'But if the plosive is preceded by a nasal consonant, wouldn't they have the same place of articulation?' We had just reviewed the lecture on nasal place assimilation in our study group last night. I knew from experience that sometimes your intuition as a native speaker is just dead wrong. I tried sounding it out in m... | "Mr. S?"
"Yeah?"
"Can I just get something off my chest?"
"Sure, kid. 'Course you can."
"Band class is fucking boring when nobody actually tries. You just sit there with your instrument on your lap, staring into fuckin' space, listening to the poor teach' tryna get the attention of the class while everybody just sc... | 2017-11-13T21:06:00 | 2017-11-13T19:45:25 | 20 | 10 |
[WP] You run a tattoo parlor. Every couple of weeks, the same customer comes in, always requesting the same tattoo: an additional tally mark on an ever growing cluster of tally marks. | Dave came through the shop door. “The usual, Bill!”
“Been a month already? Time flies,” I grunted in return. His smile got noticeably wider as he jumped into the chair and pulled off his shirt. Honestly, the prep time for his new ink was more than the actual procedure, but who was I to judge? It made the kid hap... | The door opened and entered a familiar face, cash in hand. The 6'6" silent and solemn man waited patiently in the lobby for me to approach him.
"Hey Ed. The usual?"
He nodded.
"Sounds good," I smiled, "Just give me a couple minutes to clean up my work station, just got done with another client."
When I was ready Ed... | 2018-09-20T07:42:58 | 2018-09-20T06:26:26 | 37 | 26 |
[WP] Tell me the story of how the world ends - but told entirely in Craigslist ads | *Newest in >for sale*
Jan 23: Sports Betting, See how easy it can be to be a winner. books & magazines - by dealer [x]
Jan 25: Between Fact and Fiction, Helping you understand the real life problems and removing the anxiety over the fictional.
Feb 23: Communication Breakdown Unleashed (MRR), When you and your... | In search for survivers In the greater New York area, hell anywhere really. I am, well I was a sandhog and was underground working on the new water way in Manhatten when the Russians dropped the bomb. Never have I emerged from underground to such horror. Everything in ruins and no one in sight. I walked around for a bi... | 2015-04-29T09:07:02 | 2015-04-29T07:28:18 | 15 | 10 |
[WP] You are a superhero whose powers are based on the music you are listening to. Rock can make you stronger, classical makes you smarter, etc. One day, you're fighting your toughest villain yet, and you are forced to use your "forbidden" playlist. | There’s nothing I can do.
He is stronger than me. Faster than me. And while my ability to influence people with music is strong, there are limits to what I can do.
He turns to face my city. Mine. Neighbors, friends, hell, even my enemies lives have meaning. He’s going to destroy it all, and I have only one option lef... | \[POEM\]
Quiet internal rebellions silenced,
The hero had inflicted his cruelest ability.
"What have you done to me?"
The late afternoon crowds drifted past,
With their childishly fresh eyes looking through him.
Slightly bewildered, he turned to the hero,
Anguish in each others eyes.
"A losing battle is raging.... | 2022-05-17T10:44:20 | 2022-05-17T09:52:46 | 43 | 17 |
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