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| humor
bool 2
classes |
|---|---|
I like my coffee like i like my men. ground up and in the freezer.
| true
|
My tombstone will just say deactivated. i want people to be afraid that i could come back.
| true
|
In world war 3, which country would retreat first? iran.
| true
|
Kids are picking on me, mom i'll teach you how to fight, son. yes!
| true
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What's invisible and fucks kids? the zika virus.
| true
|
What's the difference between a joke and a pretty girl? sometimes i get the joke.
| true
|
Democratic pac makes 6-figure ad buy for conor lamb in pennsylvania
| false
|
I asked my friend if it was intended for him to cheese the pizza joke. nope unintended
| true
|
To help reduce cost, this status was typed in china.
| true
|
What's it called when a cow kills itself? mooicide ...okay, fine, i'll leave...
| true
|
Israel eavesdropped on john kerry in mideast talks: report
| false
|
People are trying to sell tickets to muhammad ali's funeral for $100
| false
|
Kansas super mom gives birth to third set of twins in 26 months
| false
|
Back exercises for stronger muscles and better posture
| false
|
Good news! we can cancel the common core tests
| false
|
It's not all vino tinto: exploring spanish wine and cuisine
| false
|
Is the purpose of sleep to let our brains defragment, like a hard drive?
| false
|
Several eagles players already planning to skip white house visit
| false
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This cluckin' chicken tweets, and she's got more twitter followers than you
| false
|
Us nuns say vatican probe cleared up confusion, reinforced their mission
| false
|
'darfur: the genocide the world got tired of'
| false
|
Why this massage bar is causing plants to grow in people's drains
| false
|
Fda panel recommends approval of hpv test to screen for cervical cancer
| false
|
Thousands flee after nepal landslide creates risk of huge flood
| false
|
The most embarrassing moment of my life was when i called my teacher mom during sex.
| true
|
What do you call a drunk muslim woman? stoned.
| true
|
Watch hero cop's narrow rescue of man jumping from 6th floor
| false
|
Welcome to an all-too real dystopia in first 'the handmaid's tale' trailer
| false
|
Emmy winner courtney b. vance says film should take a cue from tv
| false
|
Whats the difference between a jeweler and a jailer? one sells watches and one watches cells.
| true
|
Why is the rabbi in geometry? to practice circumscribing
| true
|
Life is a lot like a game of golf... too many strokes and you loose.
| true
|
Tired of the cat eye? try this liner trick instead
| false
|
This couple lives on 6% of their income so they can give $100,000 a year to charity
| false
|
More ways to challenge friends and support a cause without pouring ice water on yourself
| false
|
What do you call it when oxygen and nitrogen train at the gym together? air conditioning
| true
|
What is a cardiologists favorite wine vena cava
| true
|
First nighter: joe pintauro's 'snow orchid,' benjamin scheuer's 'the lion'
| false
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My therapist says i'm paranoid. he didn't *actually* say that i but i know he was thinking it.
| true
|
Huffpost hill - white house preparing to turn back clocks 100 years
| false
|
When someone farts... guy 1: what'd that asshole say? guy 2: just talking shit.
| true
|
I painted my computer black so it would run faster... ... but it didn't.
| true
|
I'm always a big fan of the prison teardrop tattoo. it says i'm sensitive but i've killed people.
| true
|
'frozen' suite at hotel de glace is super cool
| false
|
What did the lunatic vacuum cleaner salesman say to his son before murdering him? dyson.
| true
|
People are like traffic lights you have to judge them by colour
| true
|
What did the mathematician use to kill himself? an hypotenuse.
| true
|
What do you call a cow with two legs? lean beef
| true
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Me: i'm having a lovely time tonight my date: why do u keep yelling me before every sentence
| true
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Bite me, asshole - grammatically correct and scathing bite me asshole - kinky pirate
| true
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Betty white totally fools james corden with prank call
| false
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It's 2015. i can't believe we're still referring to a dress as colored.
| true
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Dads' brains react differently to sons and daughters
| false
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The garden of new york: why the lower east side is different
| false
|
‘rupaul’s drag race all stars 3’ episode 2 recap: sour milk
| false
|
5 psychological tips to help you stick to your new year's resolution
| false
|
Him: would you like to have lunch sometime? me: i like to have lunch every afternoon.
| true
|
Cannes 2013: savoring the opening night dinner by chef anne-sophie pic
| false
|
Why can't orphans play baseball? they don't know where home is...
| true
|
U.s. navy says some human remains found inside damaged destroyer
| false
|
What do you call an aardvark that's just won a fight? a well 'aardvark!
| true
|
How do you make a tissue dance ? put a little boogie in it !
| true
|
Jpmorgan hit by u.s. bribery probe into chinese hiring: report
| false
|
I just bought some land with a stranger and now we have a lot in common.
| true
|
Will ferrell, amy poehler show you shouldn't bet against 'the house'
| false
|
I call my printer bob marley. because it's always jammin'.
| true
|
David mulford, credit suisse executive, faces extradition for role in 2001 argentine debt swap
| false
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Nobel prize winner trashes brexit as bad for science
| false
|
What do you call the drummer that just broke up with his girlfriend? homeless.
| true
|
Do cannibals prefer red or white wine with dinner? they're not fussed, as long as it's full bodied.
| true
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Have you had a german hotdog? they're the wurst
| true
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What do you call an important australian? a significunt
| true
|
Whats george zimmerman's favorite song? blame it on the night
| true
|
Two peanuts were walking down the street, one was a salted.
| true
|
I bet when spiders see those fake green cob webs on halloween they must be like ugh, tourists.
| true
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How do you get your hair into shape? you condition it
| true
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Please don't make me say worcestershire out loud.
| true
|
High school volleyball player slays national anthem after recording fails
| false
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Oklahoma supreme court tosses abortion law on hospital admitting privileges
| false
|
I took my 9-year-old to the opera, and she loved it
| false
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Don't discount mental illness in the case of abigail hanna
| false
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Do you think i could sell this couch on craigsface? --grandma
| true
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What you should know before you say 'addiction is a choice'
| false
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For the love of god, let that not be an engagement ring on kylie jenner's finger
| false
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Moms: please model the friendships you wish for your kids
| false
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I have a coworker whose humour gets drier ...as he gets more dehydrated. (true story)
| true
|
What did hitler say when he got a 10 kill streak? get reiched.
| true
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What do you call a steak that is cooked wrong? a mistake
| true
|
What's the difference between jelly and jam? i can't jelly my cock up your ass
| true
|
Saying that you were touched by jesus... ...is a completely different story in a mexican prison.
| true
|
A higgs boson walks into a bar... ...the barman doesn't understand.
| true
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What did the 8 say to infinity? come on man, get up!
| true
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Yo mama is so stank... she has to put ice between her legs to keep the crabs fresh.
| true
|
What do you call a selfless pastrami? pastramyou
| true
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Have you heard the joke about baltimore? it's a riot!
| true
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I have an idea for a make-your-own hotdog place it's called what's the wurst that could happen?
| true
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Chance the rapper livestreams traffic stop in chicago
| false
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What do you call a mountain of kittens? a meowtain
| true
|
Why it's sometimes necessary to re-define family at holiday time
| false
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A straight face and a sincere-sounding huh? have gotten me out of more trouble than i can remember.
| true
|
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