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And what to?
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MERCUTIO:
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Nay, an there were two such, we should have none
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shortly, for one would kill the other. Thou! why,
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thou wilt quarrel with a man that hath a hair more,
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or a hair less, in his beard, than thou hast: thou
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wilt quarrel with a man for cracking nuts, having no
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other reason but because thou hast hazel eyes: what
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eye but such an eye would spy out such a quarrel?
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Thy head is as fun of quarrels as an egg is full of
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meat, and yet thy head hath been beaten as addle as
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an egg for quarrelling: thou hast quarrelled with a
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man for coughing in the street, because he hath
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wakened thy dog that hath lain asleep in the sun:
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didst thou not fall out with a tailor for wearing
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his new doublet before Easter? with another, for
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tying his new shoes with old riband? and yet thou
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wilt tutor me from quarrelling!
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BENVOLIO:
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An I were so apt to quarrel as thou art, any man
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should buy the fee-simple of my life for an hour and a quarter.
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MERCUTIO:
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The fee-simple! O simple!
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BENVOLIO:
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By my head, here come the Capulets.
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MERCUTIO:
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By my heel, I care not.
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TYBALT:
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Follow me close, for I will speak to them.
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Gentlemen, good den: a word with one of you.
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MERCUTIO:
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And but one word with one of us? couple it with
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something; make it a word and a blow.
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TYBALT:
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You shall find me apt enough to that, sir, an you
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will give me occasion.
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MERCUTIO:
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Could you not take some occasion without giving?
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TYBALT:
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Mercutio, thou consort'st with Romeo,--
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MERCUTIO:
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Consort! what, dost thou make us minstrels? an
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thou make minstrels of us, look to hear nothing but
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discords: here's my fiddlestick; here's that shall
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make you dance. 'Zounds, consort!
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BENVOLIO:
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We talk here in the public haunt of men:
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Either withdraw unto some private place,
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And reason coldly of your grievances,
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Or else depart; here all eyes gaze on us.
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MERCUTIO:
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Men's eyes were made to look, and let them gaze;
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I will not budge for no man's pleasure, I.
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TYBALT:
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Well, peace be with you, sir: here comes my man.
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MERCUTIO:
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But I'll be hanged, sir, if he wear your livery:
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Marry, go before to field, he'll be your follower;
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Your worship in that sense may call him 'man.'
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TYBALT:
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Romeo, the hate I bear thee can afford
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No better term than this,--thou art a villain.
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ROMEO:
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Tybalt, the reason that I have to love thee
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Doth much excuse the appertaining rage
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To such a greeting: villain am I none;
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Therefore farewell; I see thou know'st me not.
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TYBALT:
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Boy, this shall not excuse the injuries
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That thou hast done me; therefore turn and draw.
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ROMEO:
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I do protest, I never injured thee,
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But love thee better than thou canst devise,
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Till thou shalt know the reason of my love:
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And so, good Capulet,--which name I tender
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As dearly as my own,--be satisfied.
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MERCUTIO:
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O calm, dishonourable, vile submission!
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Alla stoccata carries it away.
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Tybalt, you rat-catcher, will you walk?
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