IAMCB/laila_80_test · Datasets at Hugging Face

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Hey guys and welcome back to the Growing Throat podcast. Welcome y'all. If it is your first time here, I am so happy to meet you and if you are returning, thank you for coming back because I missed you. Guys, today is a very special episode. Y'all, we're just going to jump into it because
And that's what I want for y'all today. I am so grieved by the fact that I know so many of you are tired.
of wasting your life, tired of feeling like everyone else is living the life that they want to live and you are just stuck and complacent. And I want to remind you guys of what the Bible says.
It is beautiful to have faith. It is beautiful to believe that God can do immeasurably more. All that we ask or imagine, he is.
He is a God of abundance. However, we also have to understand that
In James 2.17, it says, So also faith by itself, if it does not have works.
I had faith that God could change my life, but I wasn't always willing to participate in that change. You guys know in my laziness episode, I talked about how...
I would spend most of my days just scrolling in bed, lazy. I had this podcast on my heart of what I wanted to do, but I was too busy watching everyone else start a podcast. I had these
Gym goals that I wanted to reach but I was too busy Scrolling through girls. Can we be real for a second scrolling through other girls at the gym?
comparing my body to theirs and being like, why can't I look like them? Or God, why did you make me look like this? But not being willing to get up.
or seeing people have their quiet time with the Lord at 5 o'clock in the morning. Meanwhile, I was sleeping in until noon every single day.
Y'all may have not signed up for a therapy session, but today is a therapy session. I honestly want today to be a little bit serious and I want it to be a wake-up call. And I'm not trying to come at y'all hard, but I have to share something with you that is just...
And I couldn't understand why I was praying and asking God for a breakthrough.
but here I am stuck and complacent in my own disobedience. And I think some of you might be asking, like, how is that disobedience? Why is that disobedience?
is doing nothing really dishonoring to God. It's like I'm not doing anything bad, but I'm also not doing.
anything good. I'm not doing anything to, to grow the kingdom of God.
I think of this Bible verse, Philippians 2, 12 through 13, that says, continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling.
For it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.
When we hear work out your salvation, that doesn't necessarily mean that we are working
towards salvation. We know that salvation doesn't come by works, but we also know that faith without works is dead. And so what is it saying to work out your salvation? It's saying,
okay, now you are saved, but there is a purpose attached to that. That word fear, that word trembling means in awe of God, in reverence of God, take what he has given you, which is eternity with him.
and then live out your purpose, which is making disciples of all nations, setting the captives free. How do we do that? We definitely don't do that by staying in bed.
God put this on my heart in such an extreme way. And I have just been reflecting so much. And in the last two years of my life, I feel like everything has changed.
by doubting ourselves, by believing that God is amazing, but we are not. So surely he can't use us. That is minimizing God's power. And what he is saying is like, I am with you. What this verse is literally saying.
is it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose. But the thing is, is that there is a commandment here to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, to do the work.
When I realized that I was wasting my life, this whole thing happened. So first, I had a vision of me dying and going to heaven. And I'm excited. I'm at the pearly white gates. And I see Jesus. And I'm running into Jesus' arms.
And he's just holding me and he says, man, I just had so much planned for you. And I shared this in the laziness episode. But another thing that I didn't share is this parable.
where Jesus talks about this man who hides his gifts. And I want to read and explain this to you guys.
So Jesus tells a parable about a master who goes away and entrusts his servants with different amount of money.
They're called talents. And it doesn't mean actual talents like, oh, you can sing, you can dance. It's talents as in currency. And so each servant is given a different amount according to their ability.
So one servant gets five talents and turns it into ten. One gets two talents and turns it into four. And one gets one talent and buries it out of fear.
When the master returns, he praises the first two servants for being faithful and fruitful. But when the last servant comes forward, he says, I was afraid and I went and hid your talent in the ground.
And the master replies, you wicked and slothful servant. And all of this is in Matthew 25, 25 through 26.
I went from a girl who was depressed, who was lonely, who spent her days just scrolling in bed, who wanted everyone else's life and didn't want to exist in my own.
And the purpose of this story is God is entrusting us with something, but not just to hold on to it and to bury it. What he's asking us is for faith and not fear.
And so two of the servants, they take the gift and they multiply it. They work out their salvation. They say, God, you have entrusted me with this. God, you have given me this. So I'm going to double it. I'm going to multiply it. I'm going to make it beautiful and expand.
And one servant, and this servant was me, is he buried it. He buried it out of fear. And there is something today that God has entrusted you with that you are burying out of fear.
it might literally be money, right? He might have given you money to give or to anything. He might have given you a voice, but you're too scared to sing or to speak. He might have given you leadership qualities.
we think of just like the gifts that the spirit gives us he might have given you pastoral gifts the gift of mercy the gift of teaching and you are just too scared to move and we see how god responds the lord is is gracious and he is merciful
But we see what this does to God because he knows who he created you to be. He knows who you are and what you are basically saying is,
is it's not just, I don't trust me, God, so I'm going to bury this. It's basically telling God, I don't trust you to carry this out into completion. And I had to tell myself,
Depths of my insecurity, there was also pride saying, God, I don't trust you to help me do this. I don't even think with your help that I can do this.
I was just reading about this the other day in Exodus with Moses, where Moses was so scared to speak. And God says,
over and over again. No, I will literally give you the words. Like I will tell you what to say. All I need you to do is open your mouth. And Moses, every single time is like, God, no, I can't do it.
And when I think back on who I was and who I am today and what is the difference, I honestly believe that for most of us, God is in our life and he has always been in our life. But he's waiting for you to be in your life.
and you see how God burns with anger in that moment because he's like, you're not doing it alone. Like, I will literally do it with you. I'll be with you. I'll tell you where to go. There is a Bible verse that literally says, it is God's responsibility.
carry our works into completion, to order our steps and to help us get through it. And we're still like, but God, I don't think I can do it.
And in that moment, we have to realize we're not just telling ourselves we can't, but we're telling God he can't. And I know that it grieves him because we see Jesus's response in this parable.
Even just having a healthy body and refusing to move, just having eyes to see and refusing to leave my house and go look at the sky. Like, I was so stuck on my phone.
in the corners of my life, just hiding out. And I think this is the enemy's biggest tactic on our generation, is convincing us not to move.
The fact that he can't destroy us, but he can distract us with everything. He can distract us by whispering lies in our ear.
telling us we're not good enough, telling us that we'll never get there. He can distract us by simply just using social media and making us scroll for hours instead of do and live for hours. He can make us
distracted by anything, but all I know is he doesn't want us to move. He doesn't want us to keep our eyes focused on things above things of this world. That I know for sure.
He wants to keep us where we are because he is so scared that if we might move, we might worship. If we might move.
It is simply not enough to daydream about doing it and to think about doing it and to write it down. But please take a step forward and try.
And you're probably like, what does that even mean? But like the vision that God gave me was, do y'all remember in school when they used to take attendance and the teacher would call out everyone's name? And when you would hear your name, you would say present or here or yes, or whatever you used to say.
I'm begging you to try. In 2 Corinthians 5.17, it says, Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come.
The old has gone. The new is here. I'm sure most of you have heard this verse. It's one that we all love.
But I want you to think about it for a second. If you have given your life to Jesus, you are a new creation. So please stop acting like an old one.
Please stop acting like salvation is the end of the story. It's only the beginning.
Our purpose in life, I cannot stress this again, the world will try to convince us what our purpose is to do all of these things and to become a star and famous and
viral and whatever. Your purpose in life is simply to make disciples of all nations. My purpose in life is simply to make disciples of all nations.
and it's time to run the race, and it's time to get up, and it's time to tie our shoes and pull on the armor of God and believe that God will help you. But please stop living like an old creation.
God was always close. I was the one who was far. I was the one who was not willing to do the work. And I always tell you guys this over and over again, but I am not more special than you.
God does not have favorites that is in the Bible I am not more equipped than you so if I can go from the girl who used to cry at the thought of getting out of bed
to someone who gets 10,000 steps every single day. If I can go from the girl who used to only read my Bible every now and again when I felt like it for five minutes.
You know, I feel like that was the visual of my life, is I was always absent. God every single day would call my name and say, Lila, but I would never say, here I am, Lord, use me.
Now making it a spiritual discipline in my life where as soon as I wake up, I open my Bible and I take delight in reading scripture.
and learning more about God and honoring him with the first of my day, who used to under eat all day and would maybe have a snack before bed or overeat.
and then maybe have Chick-fil-A to a girl who loves to cook and treats her body as a temple and makes whole balanced meals. If I am the girl.
be so distracted by social media and would post so everyone would think I was happy. But now I almost never have social media on my phone because I'm open to hearing the Lord's voice and He convicted me on it. And now I post every now and again, but I'm the happiest I've ever been.
Not because I'm on my phone showing everyone that I'm happy, but the joy of the Lord has actually penetrated my life. And I've allowed him to do that. I've opened that door.
Listen, this is not a prosperity gospel. Not every single day is perfect. I was just crying two days ago. There are still hard days. My family is still seeking restoration. I still have drama left and right with different things in my life. I still have...
people in my life that are battling sickness. I have days where I still don't want to get out of bed. But the thing is, is these are experiences rather than now, every single day I surrender to the Lord and say, here I am, God, use me.
I don't have to be perfect to be used. I don't have to be healed to be held. Every single day I show up and I come as I am, but I say, God, I don't want to stay as I am. God, I want you to shift me. God, I want you to challenge me. I want you to stretch me. I want to look more like you, Jesus. I want to be tried by fire, purified, God. I want to come out of this trial and tribulation looking more like you and less like the world. I don't want to stay here, God. I don't want to be tried.
And so not every day is going to be perfect. Not every day is going to be easy. There's still going to be thorns in your side that you walk with, that you walk through. But I just at least want you guys to show up in your life. This beautiful thing that you have been given, time.
I understand it's July and I could make this a message of, oh, there's six months left in the year. Like, okay, you might've wasted the six months, but you have six months more, like go hard.
And the thing was, is that God was always showing up, but I never was. I was expecting him to move mountains when I wasn't even willing to move my own feet.
I want this to be your posture. You might be listening to this years from now, months from now. It might be the last day before the end of the year. Whatever it is, I just want this to be a posture of your life.
And God showed me that in the last two years of my life, I have finally been saying, here I am. Use me, Lord.

Hey guys and welcome back to the Growing Throat podcast. Welcome y'all. If it is your first time here, I am so happy to meet you and if you are returning, thank you for coming back because I missed you. Guys, today is a very special episode. Y'all, we're just going to jump into it because

And that's what I want for y'all today. I am so grieved by the fact that I know so many of you are tired.

of wasting your life, tired of feeling like everyone else is living the life that they want to live and you are just stuck and complacent. And I want to remind you guys of what the Bible says.

It is beautiful to have faith. It is beautiful to believe that God can do immeasurably more. All that we ask or imagine, he is.

He is a God of abundance. However, we also have to understand that

In James 2.17, it says, So also faith by itself, if it does not have works.

I had faith that God could change my life, but I wasn't always willing to participate in that change. You guys know in my laziness episode, I talked about how...

I would spend most of my days just scrolling in bed, lazy. I had this podcast on my heart of what I wanted to do, but I was too busy watching everyone else start a podcast. I had these

Gym goals that I wanted to reach but I was too busy Scrolling through girls. Can we be real for a second scrolling through other girls at the gym?

comparing my body to theirs and being like, why can't I look like them? Or God, why did you make me look like this? But not being willing to get up.

or seeing people have their quiet time with the Lord at 5 o'clock in the morning. Meanwhile, I was sleeping in until noon every single day.

Y'all may have not signed up for a therapy session, but today is a therapy session. I honestly want today to be a little bit serious and I want it to be a wake-up call. And I'm not trying to come at y'all hard, but I have to share something with you that is just...

And I couldn't understand why I was praying and asking God for a breakthrough.

but here I am stuck and complacent in my own disobedience. And I think some of you might be asking, like, how is that disobedience? Why is that disobedience?

is doing nothing really dishonoring to God. It's like I'm not doing anything bad, but I'm also not doing.

anything good. I'm not doing anything to, to grow the kingdom of God.

I think of this Bible verse, Philippians 2, 12 through 13, that says, continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling.

For it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.

When we hear work out your salvation, that doesn't necessarily mean that we are working

towards salvation. We know that salvation doesn't come by works, but we also know that faith without works is dead. And so what is it saying to work out your salvation? It's saying,

okay, now you are saved, but there is a purpose attached to that. That word fear, that word trembling means in awe of God, in reverence of God, take what he has given you, which is eternity with him.

and then live out your purpose, which is making disciples of all nations, setting the captives free. How do we do that? We definitely don't do that by staying in bed.

God put this on my heart in such an extreme way. And I have just been reflecting so much. And in the last two years of my life, I feel like everything has changed.

by doubting ourselves, by believing that God is amazing, but we are not. So surely he can't use us. That is minimizing God's power. And what he is saying is like, I am with you. What this verse is literally saying.

is it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose. But the thing is, is that there is a commandment here to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, to do the work.

When I realized that I was wasting my life, this whole thing happened. So first, I had a vision of me dying and going to heaven. And I'm excited. I'm at the pearly white gates. And I see Jesus. And I'm running into Jesus' arms.

And he's just holding me and he says, man, I just had so much planned for you. And I shared this in the laziness episode. But another thing that I didn't share is this parable.

where Jesus talks about this man who hides his gifts. And I want to read and explain this to you guys.

So Jesus tells a parable about a master who goes away and entrusts his servants with different amount of money.

They're called talents. And it doesn't mean actual talents like, oh, you can sing, you can dance. It's talents as in currency. And so each servant is given a different amount according to their ability.

So one servant gets five talents and turns it into ten. One gets two talents and turns it into four. And one gets one talent and buries it out of fear.

When the master returns, he praises the first two servants for being faithful and fruitful. But when the last servant comes forward, he says, I was afraid and I went and hid your talent in the ground.

And the master replies, you wicked and slothful servant. And all of this is in Matthew 25, 25 through 26.

I went from a girl who was depressed, who was lonely, who spent her days just scrolling in bed, who wanted everyone else's life and didn't want to exist in my own.

And the purpose of this story is God is entrusting us with something, but not just to hold on to it and to bury it. What he's asking us is for faith and not fear.

And so two of the servants, they take the gift and they multiply it. They work out their salvation. They say, God, you have entrusted me with this. God, you have given me this. So I'm going to double it. I'm going to multiply it. I'm going to make it beautiful and expand.

And one servant, and this servant was me, is he buried it. He buried it out of fear. And there is something today that God has entrusted you with that you are burying out of fear.

it might literally be money, right? He might have given you money to give or to anything. He might have given you a voice, but you're too scared to sing or to speak. He might have given you leadership qualities.

we think of just like the gifts that the spirit gives us he might have given you pastoral gifts the gift of mercy the gift of teaching and you are just too scared to move and we see how god responds the lord is is gracious and he is merciful

But we see what this does to God because he knows who he created you to be. He knows who you are and what you are basically saying is,

is it's not just, I don't trust me, God, so I'm going to bury this. It's basically telling God, I don't trust you to carry this out into completion. And I had to tell myself,

Depths of my insecurity, there was also pride saying, God, I don't trust you to help me do this. I don't even think with your help that I can do this.

I was just reading about this the other day in Exodus with Moses, where Moses was so scared to speak. And God says,

over and over again. No, I will literally give you the words. Like I will tell you what to say. All I need you to do is open your mouth. And Moses, every single time is like, God, no, I can't do it.

And when I think back on who I was and who I am today and what is the difference, I honestly believe that for most of us, God is in our life and he has always been in our life. But he's waiting for you to be in your life.

and you see how God burns with anger in that moment because he's like, you're not doing it alone. Like, I will literally do it with you. I'll be with you. I'll tell you where to go. There is a Bible verse that literally says, it is God's responsibility.

carry our works into completion, to order our steps and to help us get through it. And we're still like, but God, I don't think I can do it.

And in that moment, we have to realize we're not just telling ourselves we can't, but we're telling God he can't. And I know that it grieves him because we see Jesus's response in this parable.

Even just having a healthy body and refusing to move, just having eyes to see and refusing to leave my house and go look at the sky. Like, I was so stuck on my phone.

in the corners of my life, just hiding out. And I think this is the enemy's biggest tactic on our generation, is convincing us not to move.

The fact that he can't destroy us, but he can distract us with everything. He can distract us by whispering lies in our ear.

telling us we're not good enough, telling us that we'll never get there. He can distract us by simply just using social media and making us scroll for hours instead of do and live for hours. He can make us

distracted by anything, but all I know is he doesn't want us to move. He doesn't want us to keep our eyes focused on things above things of this world. That I know for sure.

He wants to keep us where we are because he is so scared that if we might move, we might worship. If we might move.

It is simply not enough to daydream about doing it and to think about doing it and to write it down. But please take a step forward and try.

And you're probably like, what does that even mean? But like the vision that God gave me was, do y'all remember in school when they used to take attendance and the teacher would call out everyone's name? And when you would hear your name, you would say present or here or yes, or whatever you used to say.

I'm begging you to try. In 2 Corinthians 5.17, it says, Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come.

The old has gone. The new is here. I'm sure most of you have heard this verse. It's one that we all love.

But I want you to think about it for a second. If you have given your life to Jesus, you are a new creation. So please stop acting like an old one.

Please stop acting like salvation is the end of the story. It's only the beginning.

Our purpose in life, I cannot stress this again, the world will try to convince us what our purpose is to do all of these things and to become a star and famous and

viral and whatever. Your purpose in life is simply to make disciples of all nations. My purpose in life is simply to make disciples of all nations.

and it's time to run the race, and it's time to get up, and it's time to tie our shoes and pull on the armor of God and believe that God will help you. But please stop living like an old creation.

God was always close. I was the one who was far. I was the one who was not willing to do the work. And I always tell you guys this over and over again, but I am not more special than you.

God does not have favorites that is in the Bible I am not more equipped than you so if I can go from the girl who used to cry at the thought of getting out of bed

to someone who gets 10,000 steps every single day. If I can go from the girl who used to only read my Bible every now and again when I felt like it for five minutes.

You know, I feel like that was the visual of my life, is I was always absent. God every single day would call my name and say, Lila, but I would never say, here I am, Lord, use me.

Now making it a spiritual discipline in my life where as soon as I wake up, I open my Bible and I take delight in reading scripture.

and learning more about God and honoring him with the first of my day, who used to under eat all day and would maybe have a snack before bed or overeat.

and then maybe have Chick-fil-A to a girl who loves to cook and treats her body as a temple and makes whole balanced meals. If I am the girl.

be so distracted by social media and would post so everyone would think I was happy. But now I almost never have social media on my phone because I'm open to hearing the Lord's voice and He convicted me on it. And now I post every now and again, but I'm the happiest I've ever been.

Not because I'm on my phone showing everyone that I'm happy, but the joy of the Lord has actually penetrated my life. And I've allowed him to do that. I've opened that door.

Listen, this is not a prosperity gospel. Not every single day is perfect. I was just crying two days ago. There are still hard days. My family is still seeking restoration. I still have drama left and right with different things in my life. I still have...

people in my life that are battling sickness. I have days where I still don't want to get out of bed. But the thing is, is these are experiences rather than now, every single day I surrender to the Lord and say, here I am, God, use me.

I don't have to be perfect to be used. I don't have to be healed to be held. Every single day I show up and I come as I am, but I say, God, I don't want to stay as I am. God, I want you to shift me. God, I want you to challenge me. I want you to stretch me. I want to look more like you, Jesus. I want to be tried by fire, purified, God. I want to come out of this trial and tribulation looking more like you and less like the world. I don't want to stay here, God. I don't want to be tried.

And so not every day is going to be perfect. Not every day is going to be easy. There's still going to be thorns in your side that you walk with, that you walk through. But I just at least want you guys to show up in your life. This beautiful thing that you have been given, time.

I understand it's July and I could make this a message of, oh, there's six months left in the year. Like, okay, you might've wasted the six months, but you have six months more, like go hard.

And the thing was, is that God was always showing up, but I never was. I was expecting him to move mountains when I wasn't even willing to move my own feet.

I want this to be your posture. You might be listening to this years from now, months from now. It might be the last day before the end of the year. Whatever it is, I just want this to be a posture of your life.

And God showed me that in the last two years of my life, I have finally been saying, here I am. Use me, Lord.