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Puts on airs of a Hal Hartley wannabe film -- without the vital comic ingredient of the hilarious writer-director himself .
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Ver Wiel 's desperate attempt at wit is lost , leaving the character of Critical Jim two-dimensional and pointless .
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Although Disney follows its standard formula in this animated adventure , it feels more forced than usual .
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Gaghan ... has thrown every suspenseful cliché in the book at this nonsensical story .
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A sham construct based on theory , sleight-of-hand , and ill-wrought hypothesis .
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-LRB- P -RRB- artnering Murphy with Robert De Niro for the TV-cops comedy Showtime would seem to be surefire casting .
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The catch is that they 're stuck with a script that prevents them from firing on all cylinders .
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You 'll feel like you ate a Reeses without the peanut butter ... '
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Gooding offers a desperately ingratiating performance .
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The results are far more alienating than involving .
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Bogdanich is unashamedly pro-Serbian and makes little attempt to give voice to the other side .
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Without Shakespeare 's eloquent language , the update is dreary and sluggish .
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` It looks good , Sonny , but you missed the point . '
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During The Tuxedo 's 90 minutes of screen time , there is n't one true ` Chan moment ' .
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Watching Austin Powers in Goldmember is like binging on cotton candy .
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It 's sweet and fluffy at the time , but it may leave you feeling a little sticky and unsatisfied .
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The film can depress you about life itself .
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I 'm sure the filmmakers found this a remarkable and novel concept , but anybody who has ever seen an independent film can report that it is instead a cheap cliché .
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The acting is fine but the script is about as interesting as a recording of conversations at the Wal-Mart checkout line .
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Its weighty themes are too grave for youngsters , but the story is too steeped in fairy tales and other childish things to appeal much to teenagers .
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Sometimes there are very , very good reasons for certain movies to be sealed in a jar and left on a remote shelf indefinitely .
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At 90 minutes this movie is short , but it feels much longer .
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Start reading your scripts before signing that dotted line .
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An alternately raucous and sappy ethnic sitcom ... you 'd be wise to send your regrets .
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An ugly-duckling tale so hideously and clumsily told it feels accidental .
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Unfortunately , it 's also not very good .
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Glazed with a tawdry B-movie scum .
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This is the kind of movie during which you want to bang your head on the seat in front of you , at its cluelessness , at its idiocy , at its utterly misplaced earnestness .
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It winds up moving in many directions as it searches -LRB- vainly , I think -RRB- for something fresh to say .
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All in all , Road to Perdition is more in love with strangeness than excellence .
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A big fat pain .
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A mimetic approximation of better films like Contempt and 8 1\/2 .
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Watching The Powerpuff Girls Movie , my mind kept returning to one anecdote for comparison : the cartoon in Japan that gave people seizures .
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An inelegant combination of two unrelated shorts that falls far short of the director 's previous work in terms of both thematic content and narrative strength .
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To build a feel-good fantasy around a vain dictator-madman is off-putting , to say the least , not to mention inappropriate and wildly undeserved .
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With the cheesiest monsters this side of a horror spoof , which They is n't , it is more likely to induce sleep than fright .
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Though this rude and crude film does deliver a few gut-busting laughs , its digs at modern society are all things we 've seen before .
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Although it tries to be much more , it 's really just another Major League .
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Astonishing is n't the word -- neither is incompetent , incoherent or just plain crap .
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With a tone as variable as the cinematography , Schaeffer 's film never settles into the light-footed enchantment the material needs , and the characters ' quirks and foibles never jell into charm .
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To better understand why this did n't connect with me would require another viewing , and I wo n't be sitting through this one again ... that in itself is commentary enough .
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Cuba Gooding Jr. valiantly mugs his way through Snow Dogs , but even his boisterous energy fails to spark this leaden comedy .
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Diane Lane 's sophisticated performance ca n't rescue Adrian Lyne 's Unfaithful from its sleazy moralizing .
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Not at all clear what it 's trying to say and even if it were -- I doubt it would be all that interesting .
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-LRB- Swimfan -RRB- falls victim to sloppy plotting , an insultingly unbelievable final act and a villainess who is too crazy to be interesting .
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This remake of Lina Wertmuller 's 1975 eroti-comedy might just be the biggest husband-and-wife disaster since John and Bo Derek made the ridiculous Bolero .
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Why spend $ 9 on the same stuff you can get for a buck or so in that greasy little vidgame pit in the theater lobby ?
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The French director has turned out nearly 21\/2 hours of unfocused , excruciatingly tedious cinema that , half an hour in , starts making water torture seem appealing .
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The basic premise is intriguing but quickly becomes distasteful and downright creepy .
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The Pool drowned me in boredom .
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It 's like an all-star salute to Disney 's cheesy commercialism .
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It 's hard to imagine any recent film , independent or otherwise , that makes as much of a mess as this one .
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Some of the computer animation is handsome , and various amusing sidekicks add much-needed levity to the otherwise bleak tale , but overall the film never rises above mediocrity .
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There 's an excellent 90-minute film here ; unfortunately , it runs for 170 .
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As saccharine movies go , this is likely to cause massive cardiac arrest if taken in large doses .
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As is often the case with ambitious , eager first-time filmmakers , Mr. Murray , a prolific director of music videos , stuffs his debut with more plot than it can comfortably hold .
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The mystery of Enigma is how a rich historical subject , combined with so much first-rate talent ... could have yielded such a flat , plodding picture .
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It throws quirky characters , odd situations , and off-kilter dialogue at us , all as if to say , `` Look at this !
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This is an interesting movie ! ''
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But the film itself is ultimately quite unengaging .
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The inherent limitations of using a video game as the source material movie are once again made all too clear in this schlocky horror\/action hybrid .
1
It 's not only dull because we 've seen -LRB- Eddie -RRB- Murphy do the genial-rogue shtick to death , but because the plot is equally hackneyed .
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While it is interesting to witness the conflict from the Palestinian side , Longley 's film lacks balance ... and fails to put the struggle into meaningful historical context .
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Woo has as much right to make a huge action sequence as any director , but how long will filmmakers copy the `` Saving Private Ryan '' battle scenes before realizing Steven Spielberg got it right the first time ?
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Why , you may ask , why should you buy the movie milk when the TV cow is free ?
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There 's no good answer to that one .
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A muddled limp biscuit of a movie , a vampire soap opera that does n't make much sense even on its own terms .
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There 's the plot , and a maddeningly insistent and repetitive piano score that made me want to scream .
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This is a movie so insecure about its capacity to excite that it churns up not one but two flagrantly fake thunderstorms to underscore the action .
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Klein , charming in comedies like American Pie and dead-on in Election , delivers one of the saddest action hero performances ever witnessed .
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It 's rare to see a movie that takes such a speedy swan dive from `` promising '' to `` interesting '' to `` familiar '' before landing squarely on `` stupid '' .
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This is the sort of low-grade dreck that usually goes straight to video -- with a lousy script , inept direction , pathetic acting , poorly dubbed dialogue and murky cinematography , complete with visible boom mikes .
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The direction occasionally rises to the level of marginal competence , but for most of the film it is hard to tell who is chasing who or why .
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There are few things more frustrating to a film buff than seeing an otherwise good movie marred beyond redemption by a disastrous ending .
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After all , it 'll probably be in video stores by Christmas , and it might just be better suited to a night in the living room than a night at the movies .
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Looks more like a travel-agency video targeted at people who like to ride bikes topless and roll in the mud than a worthwhile glimpse of independent-community guiding lights .
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Given too much time to consider the looseness of the piece , the picture begins to resemble the shapeless , grasping actors ' workshop that it is .
1
They kept much of the plot but jettisoned the stuff that would make this a moving experience for people who have n't read the book .
1
Just because A Walk to Remember is shrewd enough to activate girlish tear ducts does n't mean it 's good enough for our girls .
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-LRB- Carvey 's -RRB- characters are both overplayed and exaggerated , but then again , subtlety has never been his trademark .
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It 's mildly interesting to ponder the peculiar American style of justice that plays out here , but it 's so muddled and derivative that few will bother thinking it all through .
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This dreadfully earnest inversion of the Concubine love triangle eschews the previous film 's historical panorama and roiling pathos for bug-eyed mugging and gay-niche condescension .
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The script by Vincent R. Nebrida ... tries to cram too many ingredients into one small pot .
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Oedekerk mugs mercilessly , and the genuinely funny jokes are few and far between .
1
Since Dahmer resorts to standard slasher flick thrills when it should be most in the mind of the killer , it misses a major opportunity to be truly revelatory about his psyche .
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Every now and again , a movie comes along to remind us of how very bad a motion picture can truly be .
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The trappings of I Spy are so familiar you might as well be watching a rerun .
1
What starts off as a potentially incredibly twisting mystery becomes simply a monster chase film .
1
In the wake of Saving Private Ryan , Black Hawk Down and We Were Soldiers , you are likely to be as heartily sick of mayhem as Cage 's war-weary marine .
1
It is messy , uncouth , incomprehensible , vicious and absurd .
1
Really does feel like a short stretched out to feature length .
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Hampered -- no , paralyzed -- by a self-indulgent script ... that aims for poetry and ends up sounding like satire .
1
Cheap , vulgar dialogue and a plot that crawls along at a snail 's pace .
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And if you appreciate the one-sided theme to Lawrence 's over-indulgent tirade , then knock yourself out and enjoy the big screen postcard that is a self-glorified Martin Lawrence lovefest .
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If you are willing to do this , then you so crazy !
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Directed without the expected flair or imagination by Hong Kong master John Woo , Windtalkers airs just about every cliche in the war movie compendium across its indulgent two-hour-and-fifteen-minute length .
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It 's a very tasteful rock and roll movie .
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The movie is loaded with good intentions , but in his zeal to squeeze the action and our emotions into the all-too-familiar dramatic arc of the Holocaust escape story , Minac drains his movie of all individuality .
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An infuriating film .
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Just when you think you are making sense of it , something happens that tells you there is no sense .
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