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A crass and insulting homage to great films like Some Like It Hot and the John Wayne classics .
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With all the sympathy , empathy and pity fogging up the screen ... His Secret Life enters the land of unintentional melodrama and tiresome love triangles .
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The problematic characters and overly convenient plot twists foul up Shum 's good intentions .
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What ` Blade Runner ' would 've looked like as a low-budget series on a UHF channel .
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Has all the values of a straight-to-video movie , but because it has a bigger-name cast , it gets a full theatrical release .
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With its lackadaisical plotting and mindless action , All About the Benjamins evokes the bottom tier of blaxploitation flicks from the 1970s .
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It never quite makes it to the boiling point , but manages to sustain a good simmer for most of its running time .
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Loud , silly , stupid and pointless .
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You 'll find yourself wishing that you and they were in another movie .
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A yawn-provoking little farm melodrama .
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Did no one on the set have a sense of humor , or did they not have the nerve to speak up ?
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Seriously , rent the Disney version .
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As David Letterman and The Onion have proven , the worst of tragedies can be fertile sources of humor , but Lawrence has only a fleeting grasp of how to develop them .
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Like its parade of predecessors , this Halloween is a gory slash-fest .
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`` Abandon '' will leave you wanting to abandon the theater .
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Problem is , we have no idea what in creation is going on .
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A live-action cartoon , a fast-moving and cheerfully simplistic 88 minutes of exaggerated action put together with the preteen boy in mind .
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A loquacious and dreary piece of business .
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What the audience feels is exhaustion , from watching a movie that is dark -LRB- dark green , to be exact -RRB- , sour , bloody and mean .
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director Hoffman , his writer and Kline 's agent should serve detention
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Meticulously mounted , exasperatingly well-behaved film , which ticks off Kahlo 's lifetime milestones with the dutiful precision of a tax accountant .
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Time of Favor could have given audiences the time of day by concentrating on the elements of a revealing alienation among a culture of people who sadly are at hostile odds with one another through recklessness and retaliation .
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I 'm not sure which will take longer to heal : the welt on Johnny Knoxville 's stomach from a riot-control projectile or my own tortured psyche .
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I 'm not sure which is worse : the poor acting by the ensemble cast , the flat dialogue by Vincent R. Nebrida or the gutless direction by Laurice Guillen .
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The only reason you should see this movie is if you have a case of masochism and an hour and a half to blow .
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As with so many merchandised-to-the-max movies of this type , more time appears to have gone into recruiting the right bands for the playlist and the costuming of the stars than into the script , which has a handful of smart jokes and not much else .
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The Irwins ' scenes are fascinating ; the movie as a whole is cheap junk and an insult to their death-defying efforts .
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If routine action and jokes like this are your cup of tea , then pay your $ 8 and get ready for the big shear .
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This is one baaaaaaaaad movie .
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A man leaving the screening said the film was better than Saving Private Ryan .
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But Windtalkers does n't beat that one , either .
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May puzzle his most ardent fans .
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Starts as a tart little lemon drop of a movie and ends up as a bitter pill .
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We never feel anything for these characters , and as a result the film is basically just a curiosity .
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Feels like the work of an artist who is simply tired -- of fighting the same fights , of putting the weight of the world on his shoulders , of playing with narrative form .
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While you have to admit it 's semi-amusing to watch Robert DeNiro belt out `` When you 're a Jet , you 're a Jet all the way , '' it 's equally distasteful to watch him sing the lyrics to `` Tonight . ''
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The whole mess boils down to a transparently hypocritical work that feels as though it 's trying to set the women 's liberation movement back 20 years . '
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... the cast portrays their cartoon counterparts well ... but quite frankly , Scoob and Shag do n't eat enough during the film . '
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More of the same old garbage Hollywood has been trying to pass off as acceptable teen entertainment for some time now .
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TV skit-com material fervently deposited on the big screen .
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-LRB- Johnnie To and Wai Ka Fai are -RRB- sure to find an enthusiastic audience among American action-adventure buffs , but the film 's interests may be too narrow to attract crossover viewers .
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If there was ever a movie where the upbeat ending feels like a copout , this is the one .
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It 's as sorry a mess as its director 's diabolical debut , Mad Cows .
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Any attempts at nuance given by the capable cast is drowned out by director Jon Purdy 's sledgehammer sap .
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Its audacious ambitions sabotaged by pomposity , Steven Soderbergh 's space opera emerges as a numbingly dull experience .
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Despite some strong performances , never rises above the level of a telanovela .
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Unspeakable , of course , barely begins to describe the plot and its complications .
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Vulgar is too optimistic a title .
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The characters never change .
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If The Last Man were the last movie left on earth , there would be a toss-up between presiding over the end of cinema as we know it and another night of delightful hand shadows .
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Welles groupie\/scholar Peter Bogdanovich took a long time to do it , but he 's finally provided his own broadside at publishing giant William Randolph Hearst .
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Makes the same mistake as the music industry it criticizes , becoming so slick and watered-down it almost loses what made you love it in the first place .
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Even as I valiantly struggled to remain interested , or at least conscious , I could feel my eyelids ... getting ... very ... heavy ...
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A bad movie that happened to good actors .
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Boasts eye-catching art direction but has a forcefully quirky tone that quickly wears out its limited welcome .
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Screenwriter Dan Schneider and director Shawn Levy substitute volume and primary colors for humor and bite .
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Oversexed , at times overwrought comedy\/drama that offers little insight into the experience of being forty , female and single .
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That such a horrible movie could have sprung from such a great one is one of the year 's worst cinematic tragedies .
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It all starts to smack of a Hallmark Hall of Fame , with a few four letter words thrown in that are generally not heard on television .
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Rarely has a film 's title served such dire warning .
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If you saw Benigni 's Pinocchio at a public park , you 'd grab your kids and run and then probably call the police .
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Mr. Wollter and Ms. Seldhal give strong and convincing performances , but neither reaches into the deepest recesses of the character to unearth the quaking essence of passion , grief and fear .
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Shafer 's feature does n't offer much in terms of plot or acting .
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In his role of observer of the scene , Lawrence sounds whiny and defensive , as if his life-altering experiences made him bitter and less mature .
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-LRB- T -RRB- he ideas of Revolution # 9 are more compelling than the execution
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The film did n't convince me that Calvin Jr. 's Barbershop represents some sort of beacon of hope in the middle of Chicago 's South Side .
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What happens when something goes bump in the night and nobody cares ?
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Despite some comic sparks , Welcome to Collinwood never catches fire .
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Director George Hickenlooper has had some success with documentaries , but here his sense of story and his juvenile camera movements smack of a film school undergrad , and his maudlin ending might not have gotten him into film school in the first place .
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Shows moments of promise but ultimately succumbs to cliches and pat storytelling .
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Even accepting this in the right frame of mind can only provide it with so much leniency .
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Some Body is a shaky , uncertain film that nevertheless touches a few raw nerves .
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All the small moments and flashbacks do n't add up to much more than trite observations on the human condition .
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-LRB- A -RRB- stale retread of the '53 original .
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One thing 's for sure -- if George Romero had directed this movie , it would n't have taken the protagonists a full hour to determine that in order to kill a zombie you must shoot it in the head .
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For dance completists only .
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Spreads itself too thin , leaving these actors , as well as the members of the commune , short of profound characterizations
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It would n't matter so much that this arrogant Richard Pryor wannabe 's routine is offensive , puerile and unimaginatively foul-mouthed if it was at least funny .
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The locale ... remains far more interesting than the story at hand .
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I liked the original short story but this movie , even at an hour and twenty-some minutes , it 's too long and it goes nowhere .
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This little film is so slovenly done , so primitive in technique , that it ca n't really be called animation .
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Makes 98 minutes feel like three hours .
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Hawke 's film , a boring , pretentious waste of nearly two hours , does n't tell you anything except that the Chelsea Hotel today is populated by whiny , pathetic , starving and untalented artistes .
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Aspires to the cracked lunacy of The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai , but thanks to an astonishingly witless script ends up more like The Adventures of Ford Fairlane .
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Real-life strongman Ahola lacks the charisma and ability to carry the film on his admittedly broad shoulders .
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The title , alone , should scare any sane person away .
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Low comedy does n't come much lower .
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Appropriately cynical social commentary aside , # 9 never quite ignites .
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It 's crap on a leash -- far too polite to scale the lunatic heights of Joe Dante 's similarly styled Gremlins .
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One of the most depressing movie-going experiences I can think of is to sit through about 90 minutes of a so-called ` comedy ' and not laugh once .
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This is the kind of movie where the big scene is a man shot out of a cannon into a vat of ice cream .
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A loud , brash and mainly unfunny high school comedy .
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An exceptionally dreary and overwrought bit of work , every bit as imperious as Katzenberg 's The Prince of Egypt from 1998 .
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The movie is so resolutely cobbled together out of older movies that it even uses a totally unnecessary prologue , just because it seems obligatory .
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The movie 's vision of a white American zealously spreading a Puritanical brand of Christianity to South Seas islanders is one only a true believer could relish .
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Maid in Manhattan proves that it 's easier to change the sheets than to change hackneyed concepts when it comes to dreaming up romantic comedies .
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A fairly harmless but ultimately lifeless feature-length afterschool special .
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... the whole thing succeeded only in making me groggy .
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Like most of Jaglom 's films , some of it is honestly affecting , but more of it seems contrived and secondhand .
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One long , numbing action sequence made up mostly of routine stuff Yuen has given us before .
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