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1,400
i saw a painting of a jar that was full of pencils
the artist said the jar was both full and empty
1,401
the artist said the jar was both full and empty
but it was full of pencils how could he say it was empty
1,402
but it was full of pencils how could he say it was empty
artists see things differently
1,403
artists see things differently
did you ever see anything that picasso painted
1,404
did you ever see anything that picasso painted
of course he is world famous
1,405
of course he is world famous
did he ever take art lessons
1,406
did he ever take art lessons
i cannot believe it i drew paintings like that in third grade
1,407
i cannot believe it i drew paintings like that in third grade
where are they maybe they are worth millions
1,408
that is the point
the point of what
1,409
the point of what
of living
1,410
of living
who knows you live and then you die
1,411
who knows you live and then you die
we must be here for some reason
1,412
we must be here for some reason
maybe we are here to have fun
1,413
maybe we are here to have fun
then why are not i having fun
1,414
then why are not i having fun
because you are thinking too much
1,415
because you are thinking too much
so i should stop thinking
1,416
so i should stop thinking
stop thinking about what the point is
1,417
stop thinking about what the point is
okay i will start thinking about having some fun
1,418
okay i will start thinking about having some fun
just be patient fun does not come along every five minutes
1,419
beer is a powerful drug
so are cigarettes
1,420
so are cigarettes
which would you prefer
1,421
which would you prefer
what do you mean
1,422
what do you mean
when you die and go to heaven they will offer you beer or cigarettes
1,423
when you die and go to heaven they will offer you beer or cigarettes
i could pick only one or the other
1,424
i could pick only one or the other
yes nothings perfect not even in heaven
1,425
yes nothings perfect not even in heaven
boy that is a tough one
1,426
boy that is a tough one
that is so tough about it of course i would pick cigarettes
1,427
that is so tough about it of course i would pick cigarettes
but cigarettes taste much better when you have a cold beer
1,428
but cigarettes taste much better when you have a cold beer
well you cannot have everything
1,429
well you cannot have everything
i do not think i want to go to your heaven
1,430
my pants have a hole in the front pocket
you should not carry pens in your pocket
1,431
you should not carry pens in your pocket
yesterday a pen fell through my pants onto my shoe
1,432
yesterday a pen fell through my pants onto my shoe
lucky for you it was not a sharp knife
1,433
lucky for you it was not a sharp knife
who carries a sharp knife in their pocket
1,434
who carries a sharp knife in their pocket
criminals of course
1,435
criminals of course
anyway i have to fix the hole
1,436
anyway i have to fix the hole
you can sew it up or use an ironon patch
1,437
you can sew it up or use an ironon patch
tell me about this patch
1,438
tell me about this patch
the patch has glue the hot iron melts the glue so the patch sticks on
1,439
the patch has glue the hot iron melts the glue so the patch sticks on
that sounds a lot easier than sewing
1,440
that sounds a lot easier than sewing
it is but after about ten washings the glue washes off
1,441
do you know any good jokes
i cannot remember jokes
1,442
i cannot remember jokes
neither can i
1,443
neither can i
they go in one ear and out the other
1,444
they go in one ear and out the other
who makes up all these jokes
1,445
who makes up all these jokes
who knows but there must be a hundred new ones every day
1,446
who knows but there must be a hundred new ones every day
yes just in english alone
1,447
yes just in english alone
i wonder if every language has jokes
1,448
i wonder if every language has jokes
of course people everywhere like good jokes
1,449
of course people everywhere like good jokes
what do you think people joke about the most
1,450
what do you think people joke about the most
i think most jokes are about women
1,451
i think most jokes are about women
oh really i think most jokes are about men
1,452
you are very lucky
why do you say that
1,453
why do you say that
you speak two languages
1,454
you speak two languages
well my english is not perfect
1,455
well my english is not perfect
no one speaks perfect english
1,456
no one speaks perfect english
maybe i will be the first
1,457
maybe i will be the first
i have been thinking about learning spanish
1,458
i have been thinking about learning spanish
spanish is easy i will be happy to teach you
1,459
spanish is easy i will be happy to teach you
how long will it take me to learn
1,460
how long will it take me to learn
i think it will only take you a year or two
1,461
i think it will only take you a year or two
how soon can we begin
1,462
how soon can we begin
ahora that means right now
1,463
do you know what today is
yes it is april
1,464
yes it is april
it is more than just a date
1,465
it is more than just a date
is it your birthday or anniversary
1,466
is it your birthday or anniversary
no it is earth day
1,467
no it is earth day
that is that
1,468
that is that
it is a yearly reminder to take care of our planet
1,469
it is a yearly reminder to take care of our planet
oh you mean like reuse things and recycle stuff
1,470
oh you mean like reuse things and recycle stuff
yes we need to think green save water and stop using plastic bags
1,471
yes we need to think green save water and stop using plastic bags
how about if i take shorter showers
1,472
how about if i take shorter showers
that is a good idea because showers waste a lot of water
1,473
that is a good idea because showers waste a lot of water
from now on i will spend only minutes in the shower
1,474
poetry sucks
i do not know anyone who likes it
1,475
i do not know anyone who likes it
some of it is okay i guess
1,476
some of it is okay i guess
yes the poems that rhyme and are easy to remember
1,477
yes the poems that rhyme and are easy to remember
like one two buckle my shoe
1,478
like one two buckle my shoe
but people still write poems
1,479
but people still write poems
no one makes any money at it
1,480
no one makes any money at it
shakespeare was a poet
1,481
shakespeare was a poet
did he get rich from his poetry
1,482
did he get rich from his poetry
probably not
1,483
probably not
poems are a little bit like songs
1,484
poems are a little bit like songs
yes but songs have music without music songs would suck too
1,485
how smart are you
i do not know i think i am average
1,486
i do not know i think i am average
did you ever take an iq test
1,487
did you ever take an iq test
no i never did all i know is that i got as and bs in school
1,488
no i never did all i know is that i got as and bs in school
i wish i was really smart
1,489
i wish i was really smart
do not be ridiculous
1,490
do not be ridiculous
what do you mean
1,491
what do you mean
if you are going to make a wish wish that you were really rich or famous
1,492
if you are going to make a wish wish that you were really rich or famous
do not you ever wonder what it is like to be supersmart
1,493
do not you ever wonder what it is like to be supersmart
it must be very lonely
1,494
it must be very lonely
whys that
1,495
whys that
because if you are supersmart no one understands what you are saying
1,496
i missed the tv news last night what was on
nothing that would pass as news
1,497
nothing that would pass as news
that is the weather going to be like this weekend
1,498
that is the weather going to be like this weekend
i do not know whenever the weather comes on i switch channels
1,499
i do not know whenever the weather comes on i switch channels
what was the lead story on the news