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AITA for not wanting my nephew to watch the TV in my room? | english isn't my first language so sorry if there is any mistakes.
i [m15] live with my parents, my older sister sofia [f19], sofia's boyfriend adrian [m19] and their child luke [m3].
luke is a difficult child and is a menace sometimes. sofia and adrian struggles to keep control of him. he is very hyper and destructi... | 1,852 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/xheq95/aita_for_not_wanting_my_nephew_to_watch_the_tv_in/ | 2022-09-18 11:56:19 | nta - locking the door is your only option until you are able to move out. good for you for setting and maintaining reasonable boundaries.
i hope that this teaches you a lesson about having a kid at 16, don't be like sofia and adrian! | nta. ***i'd contact child protective services if these teen-age parents are just putting a 3 yr old child into a room and shutting the door to keep him confined without them watching him.*** maybe this child needs better, caring parents. don't either of the parents work or are they home all day? this room seems t... | nta. not your kid. not your boyfriend. not your problem. | nta, you’re being made the victim of your destructive nephew as opposed to your sister and her boyfriend parenting him.
unfortunately there’s also nothing you can do about it other than hope to reason with them or convince your parents to side with you, since it’s ultimately their house and you have little agency acco... | nta. why should you have to share your space, especially with someone who doesn’t respect it?
also, the kid has two parents, why does his mother needing a break mean he has to be in your room instead of being watched by the other parent? sitting a kid down in front of a tv all the time is also what is causing his be... | nta. if sofia and adrian think that it’s unfair, they should move out and rent a place of their own. | phrase it to your parents a different way.
"it's dangerous to lock a 3 year old child in a room by himself, especially with food. if he gets hurt, i won't lie to the authorities and i will let them know that sister is neglectful and didn't care about the risk to nephews safety. people will also know that you two knew ... | > sister: you only think of yourself.
> also sister: wants her nephew to stay in his uncle’s room because she doesn’t want to share a room with a toddler, so she decides to try and inconvenience her little brother.
nta. but your sister is, and both her and her boyfriend suck at parenting. | nta. it's your room and youe space and you get to decide who gets to be in it, especially if someone is destructive and makes a mess. incidentally it's also their kid and their responsibility...if they wanna keep luke in your room for a time the least they should do is watch him and clean up after him... | it is up to your sister to parent her child, not you. and it is up to your sister to tidy up after her child, not you. you are entitled to protect your property when she behaves in this way. nta. | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: english isn't my first language so sorry if there is any mistakes. i [m15] liv... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
english isn't my first language so sorry if there is any mistakes. i... |
AITA For letting my friend sniff my girlfriend? | title sounds strange, i know.
one of my friends (23m) is a bit of a prankster and enjoys having fun. he is really beloved by our group.
i recently got into a relationship with a girl who doesn't really know my friends. so the 5 of us decided to meet up at an outdoor patio for drinks. we all met up there and immediate... | 198 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/jbq3li/aita_for_letting_my_friend_sniff_my_girlfriend/ | 2020-10-15 15:48:47 | yta many women freeze up and do nothing when men do these things because some men become violent. being a "big girl" has nothing to do with it. our adrenal response is fight, flight, or freeze. she froze, you should have stood up for her, or learned and apologized and not let it happen again.
also it is not "funny" to... | yta.
your friend acted like a complete creep and you thought it was funny.
fyi your friend should not act that way when he doesn't know somebody's sense of humor. his actions easily could have come off as aggressive or harassing, even in a sexual nature. that's not okay, and you should have had your gf's back. | yta.
what he did wasn't cool. it was being creepy and shoreline rapey. you stood there and laughed while your girlfriend was standing there being violated. its not funny to get your personal space violated especially by someone who is new to you. it doesn't matter that "thats just his sense of humor". **no**.
its way... | yta 100%. your “friend“ is a creepy asshole, and you are just as big of an asshole, if not worse, for letting him treat your girlfriend this way and then being completely dismissive of her feelings. i hope that she breaks up with you immediately because you sound like an absolute shitty boyfriend. | definitely yta. the sniffing thing was gross and creepy, but essentially being pinned to a wall by a stranger (he’s a stranger to her, remember) while her boyfriend laughed was probably terrifying and humiliating.
the punch line of this “joke” was that it’s funny for a woman to be feel unsafe is not funny. because tha... | yta that is so disgusting. she was approached by a stranger and cornered while you were across the room laughing. it’s weird that you would allow your friend to do something like that to your girlfriend and make her feel unsafe. that’s sexual harassment | yta he sniffed her *and* said, “you look fresh,” while pinning her in place and looming over her? it’s the, “you look fresh,” line that sends me. you know what that means, right? you know what he intended to imply. he dehumanized her, treated her like a piece of meat, like sexual prey, like a walking bag of sexual orga... | yta stand up for your woman! what if some huge dude who was a friend of hers did that to you? she was terrified | yta. he was asserting dominance. it was 'funny' because she was trapped and couldn't stop him from doing what he wanted. a lot of women associate sniffing them/ their stuff with creepy guys. i had my hair sniffed by several guys back in hs and it was so creepy. you let your friend make your gf uncomfortable for la... | yta. what’s the punchline? “hahahah, you’re scared of a large man with no respect for your personal space! lol so funny!!!!” | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: title sounds strange, i know. one of my friends (23m) is a bit of a prankster ... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
title sounds strange, i know. one of my friends (23m) is a bit of a ... |
AITA for calling CPS on my fiancé’s uncle? | preface: this all happened last year (june of 2021)
i (20f) was asked by my fiancé’s (21m) uncle to babysit his 5 kids (12f, 8m, 4m, 3f, and 2f) last year so his wife could start working to make extra money for their household. they were willing to pay me $300 a week so it wasn’t so bad. i always knew they were prett... | 952 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/txrufa/aita_for_calling_cps_on_my_fiancés_uncle/ | 2022-04-06 17:46:40 | nta - if a child is admitted to the hospital for malnutrition without an underlying medical disorder, the hospital will absolutely be calling cps themselves. whatever they had to deal with regarding cps would have happened whether you called or not. | oh honey, that’s such a shame. you did the right thing, which was to alert the right agency to the risk the children were facing. without someone intervening, it could have carried on like that indefinitely with more children becoming sick. and you don’t know if the hospital notified them, malnutrition in a child is a ... | nta
thank you. just thank you.
those kids are being taken care of now. you weren't trying to split the family apart. you were trying to make sure the family stayed alive and well. don't forget that. | nta. you prioritized the kids' health and safety, which is never an ah thing to do. good on you for caring about those kids. and, it seems like the situation ended up working out pretty well because they're much better cared for now. | lord god in heaven, nta.
in fact, you probably didn't even run them in yourself. nurses are mandated reporters. if they get a 2yo with malnutrition, they're gonna use the red phone that connect directly to cps. they were likely already under investigation at that point and unaware. | nta
obviously, you made the right call. them not talking to you is a small sacrifice for the health and safety of the kids. maybe someday they will look past their hurt pride and see that. | nta
the tipping point was the malnutrition. roaches happen, bed bugs happen. holes in the floor or other places don’t really matter as long as the temperature inside isn’t dangerously hot or cold. cramped living spaces aren’t a big deal.
too many people seem to think that calling cps automatically means kids wil... | nta, sounds like you gave them the wakeup call they needed, im glad the children are doing a lot better now | nta. seems like you did everything you could before you had to make that call. they also seem to be doing so much better because of that call. you did the right thing and those kid will have a better life for it. | nta. the hospital would have called anyway. malnutrition is a huge red flag and without an underlying condition that's basically automatically a cps call. | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: preface: this all happened last year (june of 2021) i (20f) was asked by my fi... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
preface: this all happened last year (june of 2021) i (20f) was aske... |
AITA for being upset at my birthday presents | i just turned 16 a few days ago and this has been something bugging my mind. so 16 is a pretty big mile stone. lots of people usually get big presents. most of my friends got like new phones, air pods, new clothes. things like that. i don’t like to consider myself spoiled so obviously i wasn’t expecting something big b... | 280 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/f72156/aita_for_being_upset_at_my_birthday_presents/ | 2020-02-20 23:38:14 | nta
lol the people calling you an asshole wouldn't have wanted a pillow when they were 16 i bet 😂 | nta.
honestly your sister kind of sounds like one. she hyped you up, had you thinking you were gonna get something super awesome. then told you that you were an ungrateful brat because you didn't jump up and down with excitement over a pillow. 😂
also you held it together and pretended to be happy out of respect f... | nta.
didn't expect it from thread title, but going with it.
yeah, yeah, nobody gets to demand better gifts, entitled, entitled, blah blah blah...
but... y'know... birthday presents are a thing, countries and communities that celebrate these things have certain expectations, traditions, assumptions and so on. presuma... | nta but your sister is the ah for amping you up the whole time.
you sound like a genuine person and mature for your age. you thought this all through and you’re trying to make sense of it. i don’t think that’s being ungrateful. you had expectations due to various reasons. it is a disappointing situation.
maybe have... | i really want to meet all of these people that are arguing that a walmart pillow & a brand of chocolate bar you don’t even like are acceptable birthday gifts.
i think you’re allowed to feel disappointed that your parents got you something that showed very little thought or effort, especially since your sister got... | info. are you the oldest? if not what did your sibs receive for their 16 bday? | nta
i was full on expecting you to be entitled and spoiled but a pillow and a chocolate bar? what?
i’m surprised your sister didn’t wrap a stick of gum and say that was her present to you. | nta i'm kinda surprised at the y-t-a s because if this was one of those christmas posts where a woman gets a vacuum or a guy gets deodorant / something that's more of a necessity, i'm pretty sure anyone saying be grateful you got anything would be downvoted into oblivion. | nta. first, happy sweet sixteen! second, what kind of pillow (not that it really matters)? was it something you had really wanted? i would think your family would put in a little extra effort since you turned 16 and it’s a milestone for sure. it doesn’t sound like you expected a new car or anything extravagant. expecti... | nta in your other comment you said your sister got a computer for her birthday and it was wrong of her to install you with false hope. plus its not like you said anything you did try to act happy | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | INFO | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0.003 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i just turned 16 a few days ago and this has been something bugging my mind. s... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i just turned 16 a few days ago and this has been something bugging ... |
AITA For Staying Out Late? MIL Called Me A Bad Mother | a little backstory, my family (husband 30, me 26, kids 2&3) lost our home in a fire 3 months ago, and are living with my in-laws.
a few nights ago, my husband and i were at a party with close friends. when it got to be around 130am, my husband decided to go home, but said i could stay and come home later. as i ha... | 152 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/pa0uwq/aita_for_staying_out_late_mil_called_me_a_bad/ | 2021-08-23 14:23:57 | nta
you went out for the first time in 2 months and lost track of time - watching movies, not bar hopping!
your husband should have taken care of the toddler when/if he woke up.
i'm more concerned that your husband didn't defend you when his mother went after you in front of him.
i hope your house is repaired soon!... | nta, you're right that this is between you and your husband and he was fine with it. he should have stood up for you rather than staying silent and letting your mil come at you.
you say you messed up, how? it was discussed and agreed that you could stay out later, i don't see how you did anything wrong. eventually in ... | nta.
this was an agreement between you and your spouse. none of mil's business. | nah, except probably your husband.
you can certainly go out for the evening.
but your mother in law didn't call you a bad mother like your title says. she seems to be communicating that she shouldn't be the one to get up with your screaming kids at 4am. and she is right. especially since she's doing you two bi... | from the comments…yeah. yta. well,
your husband is but i would say you kind of are too. you say that you guys sleep in the basement and don’t have a baby monitor. so the kids woke up your mil and your husband didn’t take care them.
you do deserve a day off, but not at your in laws expense. husband needed to step up he... | esh, but very softly. no one wants to wake up at 4am to a screaming child, especially if they arent your kid. i understand why the mother in law could be annoyed the next morning, especially if they had work in the morning.
however, i understand you wanted to have more human interaction after quarantine, the fire, and... | info.
did your husband not take care of your toddler? in a comment you said that your children sleep upstairs and you sleep in the basement but you don't have a baby monitor, are the children waking up constantly and you and your husband are not taking care of it? | nta. part of being a parent is giving your parent an ‘off night’ you had an extra 4 hours to catch up with a friend and still got up in time to check on your kids. your husband consented it was fine. | esh... you live in your in-laws house. they all work, coming home at 6 am is disrespectful even if your husband is ok with that. | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NAH | YTA | ESH | INFO | NTA | ESH | null | 0.390935 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: a little backstory, my family (husband 30, me 26, kids 2&3) lost our home ... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
a little backstory, my family (husband 30, me 26, kids 2&3) lost... |
AITA for refusing to pay for my SILs fertility treatment? | i (32m) am very wealthy. i sold my startup to a big company 10 years ago and invested my money well since. my wife (33f) and i have been together since high school. we have 5 kids (13f, 8f, twins 4m and 1f). we had our first baby young and were flat broke, unplanned, not ready etc. we made it work and luckily, i really... | 4,659 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ugb93n/aita_for_refusing_to_pay_for_my_sils_fertility/ | 2022-05-01 22:37:23 | nta. the irony of someone looking for a handout calling you entitled is… rich. no pun intended. | nta. i feel bad for her because it probably pains her to see you with all your kids and she can’t even have one but it’s still not your responsibility to pay for it. | nta where does it stop. if she feels entitled to the treatment, will she also expect you to pay for daycare, private school, a house in a better county, college? it sucks for her, but once you open the wallet you’ll be on the hook every time she has trouble. | i think it’s weird that no one is bringing up the fact that this woman is 46. i feel like the success rate at that age is next to none. your money would very likely be wasted. regardless of her behavior, this would likely be futile.
nta | nta-being unable to have a child when you want children is heartbreaking but it gives no one the right to be an entitled asshole. | forgetting the money request, which is absolutely obsurd.
she's 46. by the time she has a baby she could be 47,. 48 or older
that baby will be so high risk of many many health problems and so will mom be. and with increased likelihood of major lifelong health problems or birth defects... comes increased cost. how i... | nta&#10;
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you are not responsible for personally paying for someone else's fertility treatments. | nta - what's going to happen if it doesn't work out? is sil going to come to you every time it fails? what happens when the baby arrives and there's still no money? she is not entitled to your money. | people amaze me with their boldness asking for other people's money. and then playing victim when the answer is "no."
nta. | nta.
your money. and you are in the middle of discussing it. you didn't say no to her. she wouldn't stop pestering you about it. you told her youd talk privately but then she blows up on you during your child's birthday?
perhaps your reaction made you an asshole. but she was an asshole tenfold.
honestly... she can ad... | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i (32m) am very wealthy. i sold my startup to a big company 10 years ago and i... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i (32m) am very wealthy. i sold my startup to a big company 10 years... |
AITA for embarrassing my dad on FB over his post about being a single dad? | i’ve (m16) lived with my grandparents my whole life. my mom took off when i was a baby and haven’t seen her since. so my dad left me with his parents and they basically raised me. my dad was kind of around but not really
he’d sometimes come to take me to his house for the night every month, drop me off and be gone a... | 14,939 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/kq706m/aita_for_embarrassing_my_dad_on_fb_over_his_post/ | 2021-01-04 11:34:48 | nta.
truth hurts i guess.
a once a month parent isn't as comparable to single parents whonhave their kids full time. he is only sacrificing one night a month to be with you.
though, a question does pop into mind, does he provide financial support to your grandparents for expenses? same goes with your half siblings... | nta being a father and being a dad are different things | nta, it sounds like both of your parents abandoned you, just one of them sees you occasionally when it's convenient for him. | >>my dad said i was being disrespectful and i don't know what it's like to be a single dad...
from the sounds of it, neither does he.
nta. | nta and good for you. you spoke your truth which was a verifiable fact. he deleted it because he knows you’re right. it’s not your fault that the truth makes him look bad, it’s his. | nta but your father certainly was for posting that on facebook. sure there could be more to it like he's working a lot to help his parents take care of you, but in the end he wasn't there for you and that is what being a parent is so yeah definitely not you, but him. | this is tough but if he is really as absent as you say, nta.
he doesn't deserve the accolades (he is giving *himself*, no less) for something he isn't doing. it was petty, but his posting and patting himself on the back while neglecting his kids is damn tasteless and since *you* were the one used as a prop for likes,... | nta. your dad is mad because you corrected him, but he's the one who involved you so that's on him. he made you a part of his lie and you have every right to set the record straight. you aren't a prop, you are a person.
moral of the story: don't abandon your kids if you want credit for being a good parent. | nta we like it wen people call out bs from shitheads. | nta.
>after i thought about it for some time i guess it was petty to embarrass him by calling out his bs
right here, you are demonstrating that you are fully aware what he is doing is wrong. you know what he's doing is bs. and yet you're still worried you might be the a-hole. i want to make sure you're aware that ... | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i’ve (m16) lived with my grandparents my whole life. my mom took off when i wa... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i’ve (m16) lived with my grandparents my whole life. my mom took off... |
AITA for refusing to go on a family trip if my cousin goes? | ok a little context my(18f) cousin(18m) and i do not get along. i believe he’s rude, inconsiderate and just a bully.
me and him have never been close because he’s loud and rude whereas i like sitting quietly reading a book or playing a game with friend.
anyways my family had been planning a family vacation for a whi... | 162 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/v6lj58/aita_for_refusing_to_go_on_a_family_trip_if_my/ | 2022-06-07 03:36:33 | nta, why your parents are thinking that it's even appropriate for you to share a room at your ages, let alone putting you in this position considering his past behaviour is beyond the pale. | nta it’s completely inappropriate for a start to be forced to share a room with opposite sex if you don’t want to. they should protect you from your cousins behaviour. you won’t enjoy the trip so bowing out is fair enough | nta.
just your cousin, not his parents? who all in one hotel room - just you and cousin? you with your brothers and cousin?
you have every right to refuse to share an experience with a bully. i don't think you should be forced out of your trip to accommodate the jerkass cousin. if your parents choose him over y... | your cousin handled your bras and underwear? he body shamed you. what’s wrong with your parents? if a non-related boy in school treated you this way they would most likely loose their shit, but it’s your cousin so it’s okay.
stand your ground. watch out for your “family” tricking you and saying your cousin isn’t go... | nta - you have completely valid reasons for not wanting him to tag along this family vacation. it seems like he’s the only one outside your immediate family that is coming so it shouldn’t be an issue for your parents to tell him it’s just going to be you guys without him. | nta.
>the second is that the last family trip he came on he hid most of my clothes and all my undergarments and laughed as i was panicking trying to find something to wear to a fancy dinner.
why the fuck do you parents think it's safe for him to be around you. | nta yikes | nta your cousin is a bully i don't understand why your parents would invite him if it was a family trip. dot they know what he had done and said to you?
stick to your guns about not going p, at the end of the day a holiday is supposed to be relaxing it seems to me it would be hell for you. | nta. you have to share a room with this guy? who disrespects you and brings random girls to the room? i would stay home.
info: why are they taking him? | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: ok a little context my(18f) cousin(18m) and i do not get along. i believe he’s... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
ok a little context my(18f) cousin(18m) and i do not get along. i be... |
AITA For treating my half siblings differently? | my mom and biodad were never in a relationship and my mom got pregnant with me from a one night stand. my biodad didn't totally fuck off, but he ended up marrying one of my mom's friends since they were in the same social circle, and they very much had their life and my mom had hers.
my mom ended up moving in with he... | 509 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/dwnas3/aita_for_treating_my_half_siblings_differently/ | 2019-11-15 07:26:50 | nta. you can't invent feelings you don't have. your dad's the asshole for expecting you to have feelings for people when he didn't put forth the effort to ensure that you spent time with these people in order for any feelings to develop in the first place. | nta
this is a convoluted mess of your parents’ making. it isn’t the children’s responsibility to make sure they have a relationship with family members and see them regularly. | nta.
this was your biodad's responsibility to fix, not yours. he could have taken you to vacations, family reunions, made an effort to put you in same hobbies. he didn't.
>my biodad also said my halfsister didn't like being an only child and would still feels sad about having no relationship with me.
yeah, no. wh... | nta. you're entitled to how you feel and if it hurt your dad, then what can you do? there's clearly no relationship there with your step-family and if your dad wanted there to be, he could have put more effort earlier. it's never too late to build a relationship with someone, so you can think of this conversation as a ... | nah
i have a half sister and brother ( we have the same dad, different moms) and we weren't raised together. i don't feel like they're really my siblings, especially because my bio dad cheated on my mom while they were married, with their mom, so they're not supposed to exist. they try to hang out when they're in my a... | honestly op this is real tricky but i’m gonna go nah (except for your bio dad)
it’s reasonable that your half sister wants a relationship but it’s also reasonable that you don’t feel you can provide one - you barely know her and don’t seem to really want to. which is fine!
it seems like your dad is so gung-ho about ... | nta you didn't grow up with your half sibling. that's not your fault | info: how old are you? your half sisters and your brother? | null | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NAH | NAH | NTA | INFO | null | null | 0.022097 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: my mom and biodad were never in a relationship and my mom got pregnant with me... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
my mom and biodad were never in a relationship and my mom got pregna... |
AITA for saying something to my mother in law? | i have been a bigger person all of my life. recently though i went from weighing 275 pounds to 192. i worked my ass off and i’m still a while away from where i want to be. however from a size 20 to a size 12, is something i’ve never been able to achieve but i finally did it.
i also recently got married to the love o... | 3,415 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/duiapv/aita_for_saying_something_to_my_mother_in_law/ | 2019-11-10 22:08:07 | nta and your husband had better start supporting you now | nta. your mother in law is out of line to say you might sell your wedding dress without discussing it with you first and for commenting on your weight. your husband sucks for not telling her to knock it off. | nta - i find it hard to believe she didn't intentionally got your size wrong, there is just too much of a difference between size 24 and 12 for her to be that far of the mark. and then offering your dress to a stranger looking for a cheap dress? at best that is just really callous so your husband should understand why ... | nta your husband is for not standing up for you & his mother definitely is. | nta
your husband and your mil are!
your mil shouldn't have broadcasted to an unwanted audience what she assumed your clothing size was, let alone name who the person she was recommending was. she could have privately come to you, made you aware of the person looking for a dress and asked if you were interested.
your... | nta. r/justnoso and r/justnomil | [removed] | nta. why is your husband ok with your mom offering your wedding dress to someone? he should be sticking up for you. | info what were you exact words?
cause if you say to her.. oh my dress was size 12 not 24 and i’m also not selling it. i don’t see why your husband would call you an asshole unless you said something rude? or your husband is an asshole... | nta mil needs to mind her business about your weight. congratulations by the way! that’s hard work. | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | NTA | INFO | NTA | 0.00388 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i have been a bigger person all of my life. recently though i went from weighi... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i have been a bigger person all of my life. recently though i went f... |
AITA for telling my siblings their parents did them a disservice by raising them in an all white town? |
i was adopted at a very young age and i have a lot of other siblings who were adopted by a few different families. we are black, and three of my siblings were adopted by a white family. there is absolutely nothing wrong with that and people who adopt children who need homes are amazing. but there are major differences... | 213 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/q46xsi/aita_for_telling_my_siblings_their_parents_did/ | 2021-10-08 21:10:54 | nta for calling their parents racist because they are.
esh for thinking all black people need to be raised a certain way. i've seen some pretty strong sentiment lately that black people who get typical "white people education and white people jobs" are not black enough and don't be in the black community because "they... | nta. i was adopted and raised in a white family/neighborhood and i totally understand the concerns you have. i wasn't really around people who looked like me until college, and the feeling of racial/cultural isolation that preceded that was very real. | nta and your siblings raised in a white environment are going to have a helluva wake up call throughout their lives whenever they leave the adoptive families' bubbles. | nta
i’m white and i can’t imagine how badly it has to screw with a person’s head to be raised as “one of the ‘good’ black people.” | oh dear. nta, and i hope your siblings figure out how racist their upbringing is without hurting you or anyone else. | nta. you don't need to apologize. their parents taught them to be self-hating black people by perpetuating ignorant racist stereotype like black people are criminals and that black people are uneducated. we are not a monolith and you are not a racist for pointing out blatantly racist comments. however, i wouldn't waste... | nta. you came to the wrong place for a discussion like this. most of the people on reddit do not have the cultural competency for this situation. that will not stop them from giving their opinions, though. it will take your siblings time to recognize the racism they have been taught and have internalized. | nta- i'm white and i totally agree with this. it's very sad they've basically been taught this and not been taught the rich culture they come from. | nta
sounds like your siblings got raised by racists parents, which is likely worse than the town would have been on its own. | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i was adopted at a very young age and i have a lot of other siblings who were... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i was adopted at a very young age and i have a lot of other sibling... |
AITA for giving my brothers girlfriend a place to stay in secret from him? | my older brother nick has always been a little troubled but a few years ago he met a girl i'll call mia who seemed to get him on the straight and narrow.
i met up with mia for dinner recently to catch up. she seemed anxious and upset and after a while she opened up about how nick was getting really jealous and control... | 7,312 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/oyo30v/aita_for_giving_my_brothers_girlfriend_a_place_to/ | 2021-08-05 18:05:59 | nta, but lets say what you did: *help her escape an abus!ve relationship*
your brother is controlling to the point she doesn't feel safe leaving him. the ah here, apart obviously from your brother, is your mom, whose golden child can do no wrong: if she was like this every time he did something wrong growing up, it is... | nta you need to get her away from him. your brother is controlling and abusive. he called her professor to say she can't be in any groups with men. that's insane. marrying your brother would be the biggest mistake of her life. but it's also not right that she is staying with him so he will pay for her school. | nta, and the response to your mother was absolutely on the money. she just didn't like it when her double standard was called out.
sorry to say this but your brother was being controlling and emotionally abusive.
good on you for saving her from having to deal with potential further abuse and helping her to finish h... | nta. the hero. so many people side with the abuser because the abuser is the member of their family. you believed her and gave mia a safe place to stay and a way to finish her degree.
unfortunately, it probably isn't safe for her anymore, because your mom is definitely going to tell him where she is. | nta. your brother is an abuser. your mum is enabling that abuse (heading towards engagement when she’s scared of his reactions? *really*????) | nta and your brother needs help. would your mom be cool with a guy contacting your professors to make sure you aren't allowed to be in groups with men?? i'm surprised her professors didn't refer her to campus counseling.
it sounds like you've been a good friend and have your priorities in life straight. | nta for giving her a place to stay and helping her out. it's unfortunate that your mom found out and that she might no longer have a safe space to stay and finish school.
your brother nick is a massive asshole and controlling prick if he's emailing professors and telling them she can't work with men. that's absolute... | nta
women don't ghost people like that for no reason. | nta by a long shot! what you did or rather wanted to do was great! ...however sometimes you need to see the extent of how much you can help vs how you want to help. you wanted to provide a safe supportive environment for mia, but you can't do that as long as you're letting your (toxic or enabling?) family come visit | nta
your brother was being an abusive as agile and mia should have absolutely left him.
your mom needs a reality check. | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: my older brother nick has always been a little troubled but a few years ago he... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
my older brother nick has always been a little troubled but a few ye... |
Aita for not making making my fiance dinner? | i work third shift. my fiance didnt work for 7 years due to a back injury. weve been together for 2. he finally went back to work last may. he does security work, mostly from a desk. up until 2 months ago it was 7pm to 7 am friday saturday and sunday and occassionally shifts during the week. now hes with a company that... | 474 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/flzo65/aita_for_not_making_making_my_fiance_dinner/ | 2020-03-20 18:08:57 | nta, wtf is his deal? and you plan to marry him? better rethink that. | nta. waking you multiple times in the middle of your night is beyond inconsiderate. i am actually stunned you were as nice as you were when you found out there was cooked food available for him. i predict this is going to get locked as a breakup thread. | nta he's a grown ass man he can cook for himself | info: is your fiance not capable of putting a frozen pizza in the oven for himself? | nta and this is a warning flag for you. clearly he sees you as his kitchen service. | nta. you're on different shifts. it is unacceptable for him to expect you to wake up and make him dinner. he is a grown man who two functioning arms and, i assume, the capability to read instructions. he can make his own food. | nta
if my husband woke me up to ask me to make him a meal i’d laugh in his face. this isn’t 1950. it’s not my job to make him dinner just like it’s not his job to pay all my bills.
you’re absolutely correct that you’re not your fiancé’s cook or his mother, and it’s not your job to feed this grown ass man dinner. ... | nta. 🚩🚩 is he always like this? because if he is, are you sure you want to vow til death do us part to this treatment? | nta. grown man can make his own dinner | nta so for me, this would be like asking me to make food right after i went to sleep/as i was getting ready for bed, then again waking me up at 1am then again at 3am. that is something a sick child does (better be actually sick too) not a grown man. working nights does not mean you don’t deserve sleep. | NTA | NTA | NTA | INFO | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0.003 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i work third shift. my fiance didnt work for 7 years due to a back injury. wev... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i work third shift. my fiance didnt work for 7 years due to a back i... |
AITA for telling my (23m) gf (23f) it's not her friends' responsibility to support her small business? | my gf recently started doing vintage clothing curating as a side hustle, she started on instagram and a couple months ago was invited into a shop, so does fri-sun selling at the shop. she'll be doing it until july when the block the shop is in gets torn down to make apartments.
we both work full time in the tech indus... | 201 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/lilhld/aita_for_telling_my_23m_gf_23f_its_not_her/ | 2021-02-12 21:40:41 | nta.
i don't think she was ready to face the harsh reality of being an entrepreneur. i cant agree with your gf when she says her friends are fake for not supporting her business. . maybe she should reevaluate what the term support means. it doesn't always have to me monetary or show a physical presence. also, i'm sur... | nta. your girlfriend is extremely selfish for wanting other people to support her lifestyle at their expense, just for her convenience. her friends have no obligation to effectively transfer money to her just to keep her inefficient and noncompetitive glorified hobby horse afloat because she doesn't want to support her... | nta. she literally wants people to pay for the privilege of being her friend. does she pay her friends to spend time with them? | nta, also, your girlfriend sucks for literally gentrifying _thrifting._ i know it's popular these days, but ahs like your girlfriend are the reason poor people have literally zero chance to pick up something decent-looking at goodwill. i am _dead broke_ and goodwill is how i looked presentable for my job and interviews... | nta
you’re totally right. maybe you didn’t need to snap but your sentiments are fair.
i have a friend who started a clothing business a couple of years ago. some of her pieces are gorgeous and some are the most horrendous things i’ve ever seen. i’ve spent a fair amount of money with her business, even on some custom ... | nta.
running a business is way harder than getting your friends to buy your stuff. what she’s describing is a mlm, which is definitely not a business.
she can succeed but she’s got to market, find her target audience and advertise to them. it’s a lot of hard work and why many small business never can quite make it ... | nta.
if her friends are capable of making or breaking her business by spending funds there, she's not doing it right. she might as well be running her own little mlm product page at that point. she's got a hobby, not a business. the sooner she realizes it, the better. | nta. anyone who has a successful business didn't become successful by relying on friends to buy things. unless you're opening something like a grocery store or another essential product, people just can't always afford to buy random things. especially random things they don't want, or can't use. she's in a niche market... | null | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | null | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: my gf recently started doing vintage clothing curating as a side hustle, she s... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
my gf recently started doing vintage clothing curating as a side hus... |
AITA for not letting a lady go in front of me at the checkout? | i'm new to reddit and posting here, so hopefully i'm doing this right.
i didn't think i was ta in this situation, but the other lady sure seemed to think i was, so now i'm not sure if i was or not.
i (40f) was doing some grocery shopping today. i have several children so it was a reasonably decent size shop (though n... | 397 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ylpuv6/aita_for_not_letting_a_lady_go_in_front_of_me_at/ | 2022-11-04 05:29:12 | nta, she will be in hell first! who cares! | nta
other lady sounds entitled, tbh.
but nobody deserves ro cut in line just because they have a smaller load, and nobody should expect it. | nta ....
1. she had a basket full
2. your stuff was on the belt
3. it's a courtesy not a requirement
maybe she had a bad day .... or she's the ah. | not the asshole. it's not your fault that you've got a crazy lady behind you in line. it's fucked up that she said that to you. you sound like a totally reasonable person. | nta there is no rule requiring people with more groceries to let someone with fewer go first. | nta. she had a whole basket. if you let her go, surely you'd need to let the next person with less items go too? and the next and the next and the next.. where does it end?
also the nerve of her! i assume she actually believes in god and hell and to condemn you to an eternity of suffering for not letting her go first ... | uh yeah, easily nta.
i'd have had some really choice words back for her. | nta, and the audacity of her entitlement!
letting someone go ahead is a kindness, not a right. | nta. i hate when people with a few items purposefully line up behind me, even though there are other checkouts open, because they just expect me to let them go first. it happened to me today - i was halfway through unloading my cart and this woman lined up behind me and as soon as i made eye contact i could see she exp... | nta. she sounds unstable. there are a lot of ahs in the grocery store but you aren’t one of them. | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i'm new to reddit and posting here, so hopefully i'm doing this right. i didn'... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i'm new to reddit and posting here, so hopefully i'm doing this righ... |
AITA for not wanting to share my snacks with my coworker(s) anymore? | i like to bring snacks to work almost everyday to munch on in the afternoon. i usually bring some chips,cookies,popcorn, mix trail etc, basically snacks that i can eat throughout a period of time. my coworkers has noticed my habit of bringing snacks to work and would eat some,which i don't mind at first. however, it h... | 2,921 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/j4di4s/aita_for_not_wanting_to_share_my_snacks_with_my/ | 2020-10-03 10:23:36 | nta.
honestly with the pandemic it isn't great for someone to be sticking their hand in a bag of chips that you are eating either way. you don't know when they last washed their hands, etc. i know that's not the point but still. | [deleted] | i had a co-worker like this once. it was so painful.
instead of holding onto resentment and then snapping, probably just tell everyone, “hey guys, i’m going to stop providing snacks for everyone now as i can no longer afford it.” i’m not faulting you for snapping, because i’m like that too - i get more and more resent... | nta. stop sharing your snacks as of now, embrace the title of mean ol' stingy, and feel perfectly fine in doing so. you're under no obligation to feed the office and those snacks cost money. don't get defensive about it and just shrug when they whine. 'not my problem if you don't bring a snack, dude. there's a convenie... | this might be just me, but if anyone comes to me and complains, this person is not sharing, i would ask them, and what did you bring to share? i also never like entitle people. people should never assume that the brought snacks was for sharing. nta. | nta. if your co-workers want snacks, then they should bring their own. you are not obliged to take care of their catering. | nta. tell them to get their own snacks | nta. tell your coworkers that if they each give you $5 (or some amount you deem reasonable), you will buy snacks for all and put them in a central location. if they don't contribute, cut them off. | [deleted] | nta. and ewwww!! who the hell walks up and sticks their dirty, germy hand into a bag of food that you’re eating??!!!! during a pandemic???!!! | NTA | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i like to bring snacks to work almost everyday to munch on in the afternoon. i... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i like to bring snacks to work almost everyday to munch on in the af... |
AITA for taking my son to a concert instead of my wife? | so me (45m) and my wife (46f) both love this small indie band that's kinda local, however due to their size they don't really have any large-ish scale concerts, however i found out they were opening for this other band, so i got us tickets, i thought worst case scenario, if we hate the main band we can just go out to d... | 3,764 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/w1x6a4/aita_for_taking_my_son_to_a_concert_instead_of_my/ | 2022-07-18 11:40:01 | nta. she is playing a weird game with you that i don't really understand. if she wanted to skip the concert and just go to a nice restaurant or something she should have been upfront with you. enjoy your concert with your son and do something with your wife another day. | nta
maybe next time she won't lie to get out of doing something seeing as it bit her in the ass here.
she doesn't get to be mad after she misled you too believe she was working when she wasn't. she doesn't get to be upset when she lied about it. | nta. you went by the lie she told you. | nta. i dnt get why she lied. why not just ask you to sell the damn tickets, and still plan a nice night out? it wasn’t that serious. i’d just let her be upset. she caused this unnecessary nonsense instead of just properly communicating with you. i dnt get it. | nta. sounds like you’re wife (and maybe you with her) should go to some counseling and work on learning how to better communicate. she attempted to manipulate the situation instead of just being honest with her partner about how she was feeling and she reaped the consequences. | nta. she should have been honest with you from the start.
besides, you're taking your son who loves the band. it's not like you're taking some other woman. | nta.
so your wife lied to you, refused to answer direct questions, and said she was busy, but now this exact day is the most important day ever for a date.
you should be clear with your wife:
1. you didn't want to go to the show and would not directly answer questions about other plans.
2. you lied to me and said ... | nta, she manipulated you and lied making up an excuse for you to sell the tickets. your son was excited, you liked the opener and he liked the headliner.. win/win. next time maybe your wife can be honest instead of manipulative. play stupid games, win stupid prizes. now you have the chance to make some father/son m... | is this representative of your usual communication? because going to all the effort of lying about having work & then becoming free again instead of just saying "can we do something else this night" is a crazy choice. especially being cold to your son. is it really that infrequently that you go on dates that's made... | nta. is she always like this? lying to your spouse and playing head games like this is rather toxic. why can’t she just tell you she didn’t want to go? she sounds like a royal pain in the @$$. i assume she has redeeming qualities? | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: so me (45m) and my wife (46f) both love this small indie band that's kinda loc... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
so me (45m) and my wife (46f) both love this small indie band that's... |
AITA for not letting my brother and SIL move in? | i(34m) and my wife(36f) got married in may. we found out that she is pregnant and decided to move from our small apartment into a house with 4 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms. it's enough space for the kids and for us. we also have a small house in the back that has 2 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms. my wife's plan is to have her pa... | 1,024 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/pt89d2/aita_for_not_letting_my_brother_and_sil_move_in/ | 2021-09-22 14:06:09 | nta. even if you all got along great, having extra people living with you while you’re settling into a new house and *your wife is pregnant* sounds incredibly stressful. just because you have the physical space doesn’t mean you have the emotional space. add into the mix that you aren’t close and your wife *actively doe... | nta-
your own family doesn't like the woman who bullied your wife.
remind them of this.
btw- you and your brother can have a relationship of your own without your wives. it's kinda normal | nta. if you love your wife, you shouldn’t be putting her into a justifiably uncomfortable situation for a half year. | nta, no should force your wife to be uncomfortable in her own home. the family wants you to do this so they don't have to put up with sil for that long time. your brother only seems to want to repair the relationship when he needs something nit before. also good on op for not only putting wife first but for also asking... | this is a hill to die on! you should not be forced to accommodate a bully with a well developed track record. if you give in now, sil will walk over you and your family forever. hell no! tell your family members, who are spouting nonsense, to take them in themselves or stfu! | nah. look, if you want a relationship with just your brother then do that. who says your wives have to get along too. make the effort to hang with him and if he can’t do that then make diatance. | nta. you are not obligated to take anyone in, especially since your brother’s and sil’s situation is not an emergency.
in addition, you are completely correct not to expose your wife to someone who put her through hell when she was younger. as someone who was the target of bullies all through school, i can completely... | nta .. it would only open a new can of worms !!! your wife doesn't need that kind of stress while pregnant, plus 5 to 7 months your in laws will need to be there by then. your parents can invite them to stay with them . | nta. it's horrible that your family wants to dump this on you. your family knows sil is difficult, and it almost sounds like they're trying to guilt you so they don't have to deal with it. besides, having so many people living around an infant at this time is just unsafe. has anyone in your family considered that? | nta. this is an especially vulnerable time for your wife since she's pregnant. exposing her to her previous bully will cause major fluctuations in her emotions which is good for nobody and is dangerous.
letting them move in is a no-no but personally i think it's a pity if you and your brother stops talking entirely si... | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | NAH | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0.000485 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i(34m) and my wife(36f) got married in may. we found out that she is pregnant ... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i(34m) and my wife(36f) got married in may. we found out that she is... |
AITA for wanting my sisters in law to stop | am i the asshole for wanting the entertainment at my wedding cut short. backstory. i am getting married tomorrow to my amazing fiancé who i love. we planned this wedding pretty quickly but it finally seemed like it was all coming together. we’ve had a lot of ups and downs planning this wedding because we have very diff... | 561 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/pqiz4b/aita_for_wanting_my_sisters_in_law_to_stop/ | 2021-09-18 08:58:04 | nta. this is your special day, and decisions about large details such as venue, food, and music lie between you and your future husband, not your family. although i'm sure it was done in good faith, it was in poor taste for them to bring in the obligation of this having this group play, especially when you already made... | first, nta.
second, take a breath.
how about this: thank your sister’s-in-law. yeah, i know you don’t want to but do it anyway. and you can do it like this, “thank you, i appreciate you want to join in our celebration. i have a dj coming that has already been paid to come for the night. but the dj will need a break, s... | they did not plan this as a "surprise for you", they planned this because it's the music they want to replace the entertainment you wanted. nta a wedding surprise is planning a fun dance or a toast, not hijacking the night's entertainment. | 4 hours????
damn…
nta, that’s too much. i wouldn’t even cut to half (still 2h), i would say 30min max!
i was born in venezuela but i live in europe. i married a portuguese guy. we had latinos and portuguese at our wedding.
my dj had music for all tastes and it was pretty good. i wouldn’t “force” my english guests to l... | nta again nta
that is not a surprise it’s high jacking your wedding. she is basically trying to throw a completely different party in the middle of your wedding!
you do not surprise someone with anything at their wedding. it’s just that simple. | nta this is you and your fiancé’s wedding. its planned in detail for a reason. its only a nice present if she had booked your fave singer or band to sing 2-3 songs. what she is doing is gatecrashing your wedding and stomping all over it without permission.
ignore your parents - some people waste their life being polit... | info: where is your fiance in all of this, and what does he want at his wedding? | nta - find out who the group is, call and cancel that’s absolutely ridiculous they are trying to hijack your wedding. | damn nta.
4 hours, and who gives a surprise entertainment show during a wedding as a present.
weird. | nta- wow, i'd be so stressed i don't think i'd attend my own wedding if someone did this. that surprise isn't for you, it's for them. | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | INFO | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0.003 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: am i the asshole for wanting the entertainment at my wedding cut short. backst... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
am i the asshole for wanting the entertainment at my wedding cut sho... |
AITA for expecting people to put their pets in another room when I visit because of allergies? | i'm allergic to cats and dogs - as a kid i had to go to an er twice for difficult breathing after attending sleepovers at a home with pets. i've avoided er visits as an adult by being really cautious. it's very scary for me when i have trouble breathing. i have had the practice of asking people to put their pets in ano... | 2,437 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zupr4r/aita_for_expecting_people_to_put_their_pets_in/ | 2022-12-25 03:38:23 | nta i have the world's clingiest, snugguliest cat. when we have guests over we close her in the office where he food and litter is, a big window and my fiance chair that she loves sleeping in- because i have chosen to have a guest over and making my home hostile to them is being an asshole. if a pet truly cannot be put... | nah
you can ask them to put their pets away before you get there, it’s for your health and it’s not rude depending on how you word it. but also understand they have these pets because they’re important to them, and often feel like part of the actual family.
they’re not the ahs if they don’t want to lock them up as l... | info: if your allergies are this bad, why don’t you host at your house where i assume there aren’t any pets? | all the y-t-a's are from either people who have never had terrible allergies/trouble breathing and/or value animals over humans. maybe find new friends- they won't change. that said, nah b/c there is also the bottom line that in the examples you provided you were a guest in their homes. you have the right to ask a... | info:
>i've avoided er visits as an adult by being really cautious.
if your allergy is severe enough that you've ended up in the er several times, wouldn't even being in the same house the animals have free reign in be highly risky?
pet dander doesn't just follow the pet. it's in the carpets, the couches, the air... | dog and cat lover and owner here. nta for asking and expecting people to be forthright about what they are going to do with their animals. of course if your friend leaves the door open, the pets going to come out! that's really irritating that your friend did that! | if you ask the pet owner before you visit, and they agree, nta. but "expecting" someone to do this, without requesting, (not "expecting), before you visit is, essentially, making a demand, which would make yta.
also, (not that you asked), given the severity of your allergy, maybe it's best you simply don't visit a ... | the allergens are already all over the house. putting the pets in another room prevents licking, climbing, humping etc however. while it is your health, it is their home. people consider pets as family so, it would be like asking if they could put their kid in the basement, locked in a room. i can easily see how this ... | nah
you can ask. i personally would suggest that you not come to my house because i won't lock up members of my family who live in the house.
i don't eat at other people's houses because of my severe food allergies. i realize that others cannot fully accommodate my allergies and i'm ok with that. | nah.
you can ask, it’s up to the person if they want to do it or not.
i personally would stop inviting you over, not out of anger or anything, you can’t help your allergies but because i know my pup would be freaking miserable stuck in another room when people are over. there’d be whining and crying and a lot of car... | NTA | NAH | INFO | NAH | INFO | NTA | NTA | null | NAH | NAH | 0.072793 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i'm allergic to cats and dogs - as a kid i had to go to an er twice for diffic... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i'm allergic to cats and dogs - as a kid i had to go to an er twice ... |
AITA for siding with my step-siblings against my own sister? | in my immediate family, excluding my mother and stepfather there is my sister (18), stepsister (22), stepbrother (27) and myself (m27). our parents got married last year and there has been a bit of tension between my mother and stepdads kids for reasons not really worth mentioning other than the fact that they just see... | 492 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zmmofp/aita_for_siding_with_my_stepsiblings_against_my/ | 2022-12-15 14:40:23 | nta
*my sister agreed despite saying she’d already spent a lot of money on our parents (she likes to show off how much extra money she has by spending the most at xmas/birthdays etc and can kind of brag about it if i’m honest)*
empty vessels make most sound. she is an ah | nta - as you said, your sister should have never committed to go in on this if she felt she "already spent enough". she is the asshole - and perhaps she is actually trying to sabotage the rest of you knowing perhaps it will be unaffordable split three ways instead of four. the fact mom is justifying her actions only c... | nta. she is old enough to know what she's doing. | nta. you don't just agree to pitch in to a joint purchase, and then pull out when it's time to pay up. she bailed with no good reason and left the rest of you footing the bill. conflict with the step siblings aside, she's willing to do that to *her* own sister, and your mom should not have dismissed it.
i'm not sure ... | nta. definitely. but i'm not sure why you framed this as siding with step siblings over your bio sister. this is simply one kid being shitty to the other 3. doesn't really seem like your parentage comes into play. | nta your sis may be younger than you all but she needs to get a fucking grip. how are you gonna show off your money but then look stupid like that? in my city we say that what she did is “cacarsi la faccia” which means “get your face dirty with poop”. she’s 18. she should’ve known better.
btw i can’t really blame your... | nta. but.
i would want to know how your sisters was asked to participate. was she pressured into it, when she already got other gifts for them? and she brags about it? how so? is she telling you shat she bought and holding it over your head? or is she just excited about what she was able to get her parents as a gift ... | nta
you are in the middle here. step kids can be expected to come out strong, because your sister is being a selfish ah. she shouldn't have agreed to contribute if she couldn't. a polite, "i am sorry i can't go in with you all on that because i already spent my holiday budget on other things." would have been perfectl... | nta.
> we picked something right at the top of our budgets cause we love our parents and want to do what we can for them. my sister agreed
that's it right there. as soon as she agreed, she had given her word that she would help you pay. she's the ah for backing out as soon as you actually booked it.
>she like... | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: in my immediate family, excluding my mother and stepfather there is my sister ... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
in my immediate family, excluding my mother and stepfather there is ... |
AITA for snapping and telling my coworker that my husband is better than hers? | i (f23) have a co-worker who's twice older than me (f45). she's in the brink of losing her job because she's not performing well and has bad attitude toward other coworkers, in which many has expressed their issue about her. she also loves loves to overshare her life details to her coworkers (ie. her unhappy marriage).... | 366 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/yon510/aita_for_snapping_and_telling_my_coworker_that_my/ | 2022-11-07 13:37:35 | nta the stuff she was saying to you was vicious and on subjects that should be off limits. what did she think would happen?
it seems like a good think that she's avoiding you, right? i wouldn't want to talk to a person like her. | nta. normally i'd say (gently) by the husband remark you kind of pulled yourself down to her level.. but the things she said about your struggle to conceive were so out of order, disrespectful, rude, intentionally hurtful, damaging, inappropriate and cruel. i'm sorry she said that to you.
the people who use very painf... | nta
if you want respect, you must give respect. i'm sorry about how you were treated by her. she used something from your personal life against you, something that you have been struggling with quite a lot. she had absolutely no right to do that, older or not. please don't blame yourself. | nta
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but you should not have snapped, you should have reported her. | the fact that you’ve posted this shows how much nta you are. sounds like you gave her a long lead before you had a reaction, and she really went below the belt. her constant belittling isn’t healthy and she was likely to get a reaction at some point.
if you think she’s gonna be around a while and it’s better for your... | null | null | null | null | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i (f23) have a co-worker who's twice older than me (f45). she's in the brink o... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i (f23) have a co-worker who's twice older than me (f45). she's in t... |
AITA for not offering to babysit my niece? | on mobile.
i (26m) have a 2 year old niece. my sister (31) and bil (33) ask me to babysit pretty often. they offer to pay me but i've always told them no, i love my niece to pieces and they are my favorite siblings.
my sister and i both work nights, and bil works weekends. most fridays i will spend the night, bil wi... | 471 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/nel670/aita_for_not_offering_to_babysit_my_niece/ | 2021-05-17 16:44:10 | nta
it sounds like your dad is mad at you because now he has to babysit when he doesn't want to babysit.
it seems like your sister thought about it in the shower and understood that it was not your fault and forgave you so thats why she hunged you, but might not trust you with staying awake. | nta, please talk with your sister and explain everything as nicely as you did here. she loves you and her family loves you, it would be a shame to stop babysitting because of a misunderstanding. | nta. it was just a misunderstanding on both your parts. she forgot to wake you and you slept. if your niece didn't cry and woke you up, she wasn't in distress at all. and it seems your sister wasn't too offended because she hugged you.
just talk to them! tell them you love your nice and would love to babysit her agai... | nah (except maybe your sister for yelling) but y’all need to chew this up and swallow it. your niece needs you, and you need her. don’t throw away a wonderful relationship over a misunderstanding and/or simple mistake.
talk with your sister and establish a clear procedure about how you will wake up. if she’s expected... | >he thinks i'm an asshole for not offering to babysit anymore and is giving me the cold shoulder
i think that the only reason he is doing this because he can't be bothered to babysit. | nta i don't think you need to be so hard on yourself. your niece was perfectly fine, she just spent a morning in her crib. she won't be negatively effected by this. your sister yelled at you, which was uncalled for, but i think she was sorry about that right away because she hugged you and told you that she loved you a... | nta. you aren’t obligated to babysit. you’re doing them a favor. if you need a little time to adjust to your new medication, it’s ok to let them know that. | nah it doesn't sound like anyone is angry here. keep in mind you're still experiencing the effects of the medication change. your sister's reaction was reasonable, waking up to find the care taker asleep 4 hours after he should have been awake is not ideal. your niece's reaction was reasonable, she loves you and probab... | i'm confused on something. sis was concerned about baby, but yelled at someone else to tend to her baby? just yelled at op and went to shower. what am i missing? op got up and tended to baby. why didn't mama if she is concerned? reddit mamas, wouldn't you tend to your baby first and see to her comfort before heading to... | info. so your sister normally wakes you up unless you wake up on your own, but this time she just...didn't bother to wake you up? then instead of going to get her own kid when she woke up at noon to find her still in her crib, she yelled at you to wake up and get her? you, her little brother who provides tons of free b... | NTA | NTA | NTA | NAH | null | NTA | NTA | NAH | null | INFO | 0.022097 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: on mobile. i (26m) have a 2 year old niece. my sister (31) and bil (33) ask me... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
on mobile. i (26m) have a 2 year old niece. my sister (31) and bil (... |
AITA for how I reject guys interested in me? | my friends seem to think so. i'll describe two instances.
on one occasion, i was at a coffee shop reading the trial by kafka, minding my own damn business when a guy sits down at the table with me. i ignore him. he starts praising kafka and says he didn't know any girls who were interested in that sort of thing, how i... | 168 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/b73wt7/aita_for_how_i_reject_guys_interested_in_me/ | 2019-03-29 22:54:35 | nta. i'm not going to argue politeness or expectations, because the reality is if i was doing what you were doing and some randos approached me the same way, i not only would have ignored them, but probably would have told them to leave me alone and gotten angry. like why are you bothering me.
you do sound a bit humbl... | shp- reading this made me cringe. feels like the whole post is just so you can brag about silly things. | nta | feels like shp tbh. | shp. | nta
you do whatever you like. you're an adult.
however, you sound like an extremely self-centered, conceited, out of touch person from what i gathered from this post. if i were you i'd seriously take a step back and try to view yourself from other people's perspectives; i think you may not like what you see. | shp | nta
you seem rude though. | nta at all - you’re not obligated to engage in shitty small talk with condescending douches. | shp | nta but i think i see why your friends think it's weird. often a direct "i'm not interested in talking, i don't like the way you're talking to me, or please leave me alone" is enough, and it is a little bit weird to just abruptly walk or run away from someone (unless, of course, you fear for your safety). it doesn't ma... | NTA | null | NTA | null | NTA | null | NTA | NTA | null | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: my friends seem to think so. i'll describe two instances. on one occasion, i w... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
my friends seem to think so. i'll describe two instances. on one occ... |
AITA for telling a coworker it served him right? | throwaway because i know at least one coworker visits this subreddit. title sounds bad, but please hear me out.
i (32m) had a coworker who really should have been fired a long time ago. he’s rude to us, he’s unacceptably rude to customers, and for some reason i don’t know, the owners wouldn’t fire him. he’s lost us ac... | 2,042 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/jv07u5/aita_for_telling_a_coworker_it_served_him_right/ | 2020-11-16 04:07:18 | nta - your coworker got himself fired and is just whining and trying to blame anyone but himself. you just told him the truth and did nothing wrong. | nta. the client complained about multiple screwups on his part. if anybody other than the coworker is to blame, it's the boss for not correcting his behavior or firing his ass earlier. what you are saying was correct and you should feel no shame in saying so. | nta. the only person responsible for his actions are him. it does serve him right, and maybe he’ll learn from this. | nta
it never ceases to amaze me when someone acts poorly, and are faced with the consequences of their behavior it’s everyone’s fault but theirs and they still expect you to treat them with the kindness and respect they never showed you. he brought it on himself. good riddance. | nta, for both not telling him who she was and for saying it served him right.
at the moment, his takeaway from this is "my coworker didn't tell me that woman was important, _they got me fired"_ which is not what happened.
he seems like an idiot, so you've done him a favour explaining that it is _his shitty behaviou... | nta your coworker has a lot to learn, and sometimes the lesson has a big impact. maybe now he'll learn something. | nta. he's rude and sexist, and he should've been fired a long time ago. being rude to customers, clients, and coworkers is bound to catch up with him. | nta, especially if he is blaming others.
i don't think it was inappropriate to stand up for yourself here and remind him who is to blame for his behaviors. | rofl the idea the coworker's brain could twist around enough to come up with "it's your fault for not stopping me from being as unacceptably rude to this one person as i am to everyone, all of the time" as evidence it's not his fault is just amazing. nta and congratulations, glad you are rid of his ass! | if it isn't my old enemy: the consequences of my actions!
that ex-coworker of yours got exactly what they deserved, op. and you *did* warn them. nta. | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: throwaway because i know at least one coworker visits this subreddit. title so... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
throwaway because i know at least one coworker visits this subreddit... |
AITA for waking my daughter up? | my daughter has been staying with us since her school shut down, and has been doing an online internship over the summer. the issue is that she sleeps all the time. she refuses to wake up until 10 minutes before her job starts, and immediately sleeps for another hour or two after it ends. i’ve even caught her sleeping ... | 230 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/htu8iy/aita_for_waking_my_daughter_up/ | 2020-07-19 03:54:47 | yta - sleep deprivation is legitimately a form of torture. it is banned by the geneva convention, and prisoners have won millions of dollars from cases where tactics similar to what you describe have been used against them. some people are just not tired during the early parts of the night, and know that it doesn't wor... | why are you so offended by an adult having a nap at some point in the day? is she doing her job without having performance issues flagged?
you're not worried that you've driven your daughter to exhausted tears by waking her up? are there other issues that are making her need/want to sleep so much?
yta - firstly, you... | "we don't think we're doing anything wrong"
well golly it's not like she's crying and that she's an adult and still doing her job.. back off... | yta. it sounds like your daughter is either depressed or has a medical issue. sleeping that much to the point of not eating is generally a sign of something wrong, not laziness. | [deleted] | re: op's edit.
op doesn't see the irony in saying we're a load of armchair psychologists, when he's vehemently arguing against the fact his kid is showing textbook signs of clinical depression. he must be a better armchair psychologist than the rest of us! | seriously, what is wrong with you? your daughter could have a medical condition that is making her sleep deprived and you're calling her lazy?!? she could have narcolepsy or sleep apnea or some other condition that affects her ability to get restful sleep. sleep deprivation is a common torture tactic and the fact you'r... | yta. she’s doing a summer internship instead of going out partying. she’s waking up for it. you don’t mention she’s had any issues with her performance, so she’s responsible. why does it bother you when she sleeps or doesn’t sleep? how is that even lazy?
when someone cries because they were woken up, it means they ar... | yta-for the way you are handling this. this isn’t someone being lazy and your dismissing the way you are as laziness is callous. | she has a sleep schedule that works for her, and you’re actively trying to change it to fit with your sleep schedules. if you want to spend time with her then that’s fine if you ask her. however forcing her to wake up just because you think she’s lazy does in fact make yta. | YTA | YTA | null | YTA | null | null | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: my daughter has been staying with us since her school shut down, and has been ... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
my daughter has been staying with us since her school shut down, and... |
AITA for not wanting cookies my cousin "helped" make | yesterday my mom and i dropped something off by my aunts house.
when we were over there my aunt asked if i wanted some cookies. at first i said sure. then she said "sally helped me make some yesterday ".
sally is my 5 year old cousin. whenever she "helps" bake or cook.... it's gross. she constantly is trying do... | 263 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/vi7iow/aita_for_not_wanting_cookies_my_cousin_helped_make/ | 2022-06-22 15:12:38 | nta. you're not obligated to eat anything, ever. | nta. but sadly you won’t be informed next time about sally’s participation in the baking. so eat at your own risk 😂 | "my aunt asked why, i said i just changed my mind. she said "no, there's a reason "."
this tells me she already knew it was cuz her spawn sticks her booger fingers in the dough, she just wanted to force you to say it so she could berate you for "attacking" her precious angel.
technically yeah baking it should kill an... | i’m an early years teacher and i regularly get gifted baked goods the kids made. i smile, thank them, hug them but never in a million years would i eat the food. thing is, i know *exactly* where their hands have been, how frequently they wash them without reminders, and exactly what they’ve stuck in their mouths. hard ... | nta you are not obliged to eat smth you don't feel like eating. and it's okay to be grossed out as well. you opinion doesn't need to be logical, it's just the way you feel about the food. i mean, sure, after being baked most of the germs are dead, but it still doesn't change there's somebody's slobber in the dough 🤷
... | so this brought up the question others are here debating. google is your friend, people! that's whether op's mom was right about germs being killed whilst cook/baking. not true. there are bacterias that while they are killed, their toxins are heat resistant and that's where :::drumroll::: food poisoning occurs. most pr... | nta, that's gross as hell. | null | null | null | NTA | NTA | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | null | null | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: yesterday my mom and i dropped something off by my aunts house. when we were o... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
yesterday my mom and i dropped something off by my aunts house. when... |
AITA for resenting my sister over lost time with my deceased cat | about a month ago i lost my cat of 15 years. his decline was quick. within about a week of finding masses in his body scan we had to put him down. we decided not to pursue chemo because we didn’t want him to spend his final years suffering just so that we could potentially extend his life.
towards the end, because his... | 278 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hugmxy/aita_for_resenting_my_sister_over_lost_time_with/ | 2020-07-20 06:48:19 | yta, although grief is clearly clouding your judgement here so i think it's probably not a true yta.
she was more than accommodating and you and your mom trying to gaslight your ill sister about her symptoms and past sleeping habits is... not good.
i'm so sorry about your kitty :( | yta
you literally kicked your sister out of her room and you are upset she came into her room early in the morning? you sound super self centered, sickly cat or not. | i’m sorry, but it’s not your sister fault and it’s just a sad thing about pets, we out live them. won’t say y ta but your sister for sure isn’t. and you can’t resent her, take your time to grieve but don’t hold on to that anger. | soft yta because of your loss, but you have been...pretty self centred. i can 100% empathise with the grief of losing a pet, but it sounds as though all of your feelings of loss and bereavement got focused into "i have to spend as many nights as possible cuddling the cat" and it blinded you to anything else - your sist... | yta
i'm sorry about your cat - that's a very rough thing to go through - but none of this is your sisters fault. your feelings (that you resent her) are valid but you need to work through those and not blame her for them. | yta you were prioritising an animal (alternatively your emotional attachment to an animal) over your sisters wellbeing. but honestly, given your replies, you seem to have perspective on this situation now, so i hope everything resolves as best it can for you | nah
i totally understand where you are coming from and i would have wanted to spend as much time as possible with my beloved pet as well but your sister has a very serious chronic disease.
i „only“ have some trouble with my back and not getting proper sleep because of the wrong/uncomfortable sleeping would ruin my da... | yta, it isn’t her fault the cat chose her bed and your sister did try to accommodate but wasn’t sleeping well. | i hate to say it, but yta - you and the mother in this story, especially for downplaying your sister's crohn's! you literally was trying to kick your sister out of her own room just because the cat liked being on her futon. honestly, i'm wondering if the cat was more hers or she did more for the cat as the cat wanted t... | yta. i get that you wanted to spend time with your cat, but kicking your sister with a chronic illness out of her own bed? why would you not just move your own mattress to the floor for a few weeks? or found a small cot online that you could sleep on? how dare you take your anger out on her for doing what is best for h... | YTA | YTA | null | YTA | YTA | YTA | NAH | YTA | YTA | YTA | 0.013095 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: about a month ago i lost my cat of 15 years. his decline was quick. within abo... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
about a month ago i lost my cat of 15 years. his decline was quick. ... |
AITA for calling a female friend who was walking home at night? | i (22m) am on vacation visiting my long distance girlfriend in her home state. we met online right after i graduated from college in may.
she lives a decently far distance from me, so i had to make about a 7 hour drive to get to her city. i tend to reach out to friends whenever i have free time to sustain my relation... | 380 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/prlb3p/aita_for_calling_a_female_friend_who_was_walking/ | 2021-09-20 01:56:13 | nta.
it sounds like she has some jealousy issues to work through. it’s fantastic that you have nothing to hide, but there is absolutely no reason she should be going through your phone, let alone twice. it’s like she’s looking for a reason to be angry with you.
this is red flag city, my friend. | nta. your girlfriend is out of line. i have friends who i call to help wake up, and they do the same for me. i call friends when they're walking home to make sure they stay safe. keep doing good deeds man. | nta, it sounds like your gf is either jealous or insecure. if she can't respect your platonic friendships, especially when you are being as transparent as you are, then is she really someone you want in your life? | nta. but she... what... goes through your phone every time she sees you? why are you tolerating this? you two clearly have different ideas about what's acceptable behaviour outside the relationship, she shows controlling tendencies - it's not a winning combination. | nta - you're gf sounds like a jealous type which is a big 🚩 for me. i wouldn't have dealt with that. relationships are all about trust and if she is questioning it then she needs to figure it out. well good luck! | nta, if she doesn't like you having friends who are women, that's a red flag right there. you were being thoughtful and considerate, your friend's text made it clear that you had told her about your girlfriend, there's nothing there that should make your girlfriend suspicious. it's just controlling. | nta and i’d cut your losses now before you waste anymore time. she saw the nature of the messages. she should be happy to have a considerate partner who has strong friendships where he can help his friend’s girlfriend walk home safely. if she’s going to act this way over this, it will only get worse. | [deleted] | 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 red flags going up! your girl has some serious trust issues going on that she’s letting show.
you’re definitely nta. you are genuinely being a good person. | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | NTA | null | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i (22m) am on vacation visiting my long distance girlfriend in her home state.... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i (22m) am on vacation visiting my long distance girlfriend in her h... |
AITA for not wanting to meet my mother's boyfriend's son? | i just recently got off the phone with my mother who was trying to convince me (and my older brother) to make time to meet her boyfriends kids this weekend for the holidays. now i'm 26 this year, my brother is 32, and the bf's son is around our age as well so we are all adults with our own lives going on. my mother has... | 408 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/r03mu3/aita_for_not_wanting_to_meet_my_mothers/ | 2021-11-23 03:23:09 | yta
this is clearly important to your mother. she isn't asking you to get bunk beds and share a room with this guy. she is asking that you meet him.
you can't take a few hours out of one day to have lunch with them or something? | yta.
why in the world would you pick this hill to die on? do a small nice thing for your mom, since it is really no skin off your back and will make her happy. i mean, why not?
if you really want to earn brownie points, take everyone out to dinner and pick up the check! | yta and somewhat shortsighted. sure you’re not going to be living with or getting close to these other people. but assuming your mom and this fellow hope to settle down (your “or whatever” shifted you from n-a-h to y-t-a, by the way), there will almost certainly come a time when you will need to communicate and hopeful... | based on the distance, it sounds like she wants to make this happen because you will be in town. you are the most important person (tied with siblings of course) to your mom, and her bf's son is the most important person to him. so she wants you all to meet.
nah, though you are coming closer to it than she is. just m... | yta - unless you have a good reason to not meet them i think it’s kind of shitty to refuse. why are you punishing your mom? | nah i guess but i also don’t understand your resistance to such a small thing. what is the harm in going to a dinner? maybe your mom wants you guys to meet because she plans on integrating holidays and instead of meeting on those terms she would like to have something more casual first. | you mother is excited to include you in her life, and have you meet the new people important in her life. why *not* meet the bf's kids and just enjoy seeing her happy? as you said, there's no pressure to "get along" and live under the same roof or something. nah | yta your mother is asking you to do this, so it is evident it's important to her, but you can't be bothered to take a couple hours, and make her happy. that's pretty selfish. | yta. if you're going to maintain a relationship with your mom and see her, you're going to meet this guy at some point. moreover, it's important to your mom that this meeting happens. the point of meeting him is to make your mom happy. is that not worth a couple of hours to you? | my dad got remarried when i was 30. new wife has 2 sons a few years younger than me. i also am the only one who lives 7+ hours away from home, rest of my and new wife’s family are all pretty close. their relationship progressed fairly quickly, and so when i came home for the holidays, there was this whole new piece of ... | YTA | YTA | YTA | NAH | YTA | NAH | NAH | YTA | YTA | YTA | 0.139196 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i just recently got off the phone with my mother who was trying to convince me... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i just recently got off the phone with my mother who was trying to c... |
AITA Fiancé accused me of punishing her by punishing my son... I don’t know what to think anymore. | so some backstory of our situation. i have been home from work with my 3 year old son for about 2 weeks for some mental health issues. i’ve been seeing a therapist that tells me to be consistent with our son in his discipline and support things my fiancé says she needs help with to reduce my anxiety.
today was all ab... | 151 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/bygy04/aita_fiancé_accused_me_of_punishing_her_by/ | 2019-06-09 05:15:00 | nta but your fiancee is. especially to your son. he cannot understand all that gibberish about going to the movie or not. too many steps, way too much cause and effect that is well beyond the comprehension of a kid his age. that doesn't kick in until a few years into elementary school so no matter what, she set your ki... | info: maybe you should try talking to her about the discipline thing? but other than that nta. your fiancé could’ve easily gone to the movies by themself, or just followed through as you had | nta im a mom to an almost 2yo and i feel like being consistent about disciplining a toddler is important. she was the one that brought up the punishment and is mad at you for going through with it seems unfair. | nta it's just really unfortunate, she makes a threat, you follow through on it, she's upset you took her seriously.
a message for parents, don't make empty threats. if your kid decides it's worth it and you weren't serious, you dug yourself in hole. | esh.
you two need to work on your communication. clearly you had different plans and expectations of the night.
had you known she wanted to go to the movies, you could have prepared your son for it, to avoid the meltdown.
you should also communicate whether it’s alright to need a break after work, or if there’s ... | she’s a bad parent. nta | null | null | null | null | NTA | INFO | NTA | NTA | ESH | NTA | null | null | null | null | 0.105326 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: so some backstory of our situation. i have been home from work with my 3 year ... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
so some backstory of our situation. i have been home from work with ... |
AITA for not doing my husbands laundry anymore | some context: my husband rarely does his own laundry. unless it’s a special event, i do all of our laundry including towels and bathroom mats.
i ran a load yesterday and my husband was bothered that it was on regular heat rather than low heat. he doesn’t like when his clothes are dried on high heat because they shrin... | 780 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cx4baz/aita_for_not_doing_my_husbands_laundry_anymore/ | 2019-08-29 17:50:36 | nta, he is a grown man who can do his own laundry. especially when he criticizes the way you do his laundry, despite never having an issue with it before. btw, asking him to do his own laundry is meeting him in the middle. | >he got mad at me and said i wasn’t meeting him in the middle or compromising.
ahh yes, how rude of you to not do everything in the exact way he likes. (sarcasm).
you're nta. it may be a good idea to communicate/decide on a fair way to break-up the chores. | nta. i do the laundry because i’m not confident that my partner wouldn’t ruin our clothes (ask me sometime about the great chapstik incident of 2003). in return, my partner does the dishes.
basically, the one who’s picky about it gets to be the one who does it. | nta i do all the laundry in the house, including delicate items and hand wash. it takes a lot of time and so calls it the 'chinese laundry' as there are often things hanging everywhere to dry. they have recently started to complain that they want some clothes items ironed for flater shirt collars. i made space and set ... | info: does he do other chores and take your views into consideration on how you prefer them done? | if he likes it done a certain way, he should do it himself. nta. | [deleted] | info. does he do his share of chores? if laundry just isn't his thing but he contributes in other ways, you should make an effort to do it his way. it is annoying when clothes shrink and it would be a simple change for him to make. however, if he does not do any chores then he would be the ah for complaining about it. | nta
honestly i didn't even need to read the complete post to come to their conclusion. | nta. if he wants it to be done a certain way after all this time, he should do it. him refusing and making you do it isn’t meeting you in the middle, it’s giving you more labor that you don’t need to do. | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | INFO | NTA | null | INFO | NTA | NTA | 0.02053 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: some context: my husband rarely does his own laundry. unless it’s a special ev... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
some context: my husband rarely does his own laundry. unless it’s a ... |
AITA for telling my girlfriend I'm concerned about her mindset regarding her weight and lifestyle? | last night, i made a comment about how i need to weigh myself to see if i've gained weight. my so said she doesn't want to look at hers, and i asked her why? this turns into a discussion around how the world has tuned her to think you have to be really skinny, social media influence ect. she uses a lot of ig, twitter e... | 427 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/i5bqdg/aita_for_telling_my_girlfriend_im_concerned_about/ | 2020-08-07 10:57:04 | yta. you didn’t say “i’m concerned for your health”, you said “if you put on more weight i might not find you attractive any more”. the idea that she should lose weight to appease your “standards” is degrading. if you had kept it about her health she would have probably not minded as much. although at least this way sh... | yta. your language that you used here and with your girlfriend implies you’d rather have a thin, pretty girlfriend than a happy and healthy one.
she can care for her health without paying attention to the number on the scale. | yta. constantly weighing yourself is significantly less of a healthy mindset than not weighing yourself specifically to avoid creating issues with obsessing over weight.
also “it worries me that in the future if she didn’t try and deal with it that i might not find her attractive anymore” what the fuck dude? are you ... | yta
you say that you want her to become healthier for her and you wanna try "help and support her"
but your comment of "it worries me that in the future if she didn't try and deal with it that i might not find her attractive anymore." shows that that's not at all true
she doesnt want to look at her weight bc she... | yta- “do this or i won’t be attracted to you anymore” is emotional blackmail. i hope she leaves you and finds someone who will adore every pound of her | yta. she tells you that everything the media puts out pushes for this healthy slim body, which causes tons of mental health issues (body dysmorphia and eating disorders being the most common) and self esteem issues. you then tell her that her way of thinking is unhealthy when i guarantee you that *she already knows tha... | yta. your first concern shouldn’t be whether or not you will find her attractive in the future...it should be about her health. getting on that scale is sometimes a reality not everyone is ready to face just yet and it can consume your thoughts and make you become obsessed. everyone’s weight loss journey is different a... | yta - you were rude and inconsiderate. there are plenty of way to have this discussion. you are trying to lie to us (or yourself) by saying that you think she was « tuned » by our environment (i suppose by tuned you mean influenced) whereas you are just a jerk who instead of taking his problems in his own hands reflect... | nta people in here saying that you are ah for saying you won't find her attractive after she gets fat. so what she can do whatever she wants regardless of her partner and he has to like it? even if he gave ultimatum and said lose weight or me it would be ok thing to do. if guy turns deadbeat then woman can and should g... | info. you are not obliged to find all body types attractive. your concerns for her weight could certainly have been phrased more tactfully though. media certainly does push unrealistic body ideals on women (and men) and i can't really blame anyone for rejecting such pressures from their so. but there is the other extre... | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | NTA | INFO | 0.057628 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: last night, i made a comment about how i need to weigh myself to see if i've g... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
last night, i made a comment about how i need to weigh myself to see... |
AITA for making fun of my dad for being a middle school teacher as his profession? | i (f19) recently got a job on campus as a secretary. i was visiting my parents this week since i live a 40 min train ride away and over dinner my dad (m45) started teasing me about this job.
he was saying that it must have been a mistake to hire me since i hate answering phones or talking on the phone in general and ... | 160 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/xkesbq/aita_for_making_fun_of_my_dad_for_being_a_middle/ | 2022-09-21 19:42:58 | yta - he teases you about not liking to talk on the phone, you clap back by shitting on his entire career. reasonable | yta
what a disgusting thing to say. your dad was being playful and you were just an asshole. | you insulted your father’s profession. the profession that allowed him to provide for you and your family. i understand some ribbing / joking around and such between family members but you took a typical joke made by a dad, blew it out of proportion and genuinely tried to insult him. yta. | esh
your father didn't respect your job and it upset you. rightfully so, he should be kinder and actually happy that you're working as many college kids do not.
you in turn insulted his profession, which is a really difficult one and definitely deserves respect. i'm sure you were taught that two wrongs don't make a r... | yta. he was teasing you and in response you purposely hurt him by making fun of him for doing something you admit he loves and is good at. you do owe him an apology. | yta. i give jr high teachers all the credit in the world. my husband is a high school and jr high coach, and i don't know how he does it. jr high kids are generally hormonal ahs. i wouldn't do it for anything. you owe your dad a huge apology. | **yta**
you want to be taken seriously and treated like a grownup, but your response to your father was the epitome of teenaged immaturity. you lashed out at him by saying the meanest thing you could think of (you even admit that you understand that none of what you said was true, that it was hateful and horribly cru... | yta but your dad didn’t need to insult you either, so maybe everyone is. there are better ways to respond.
i have a soft spot for teachers, they have one of the hardest, most important jobs in the world. underpaid and under appreciated. | yta - i work in a 6 through 12 school and our middle school teachers all went to school specifically to teach middle schoolers. it's not a back up career for failed teachers.
you should apologize to your dad and tell him teasing about your job triggers you.
also change your attitude about teachers. | yta. i would say esh, but frankly, your offense so outweighs it that it doesn't count.
> i know what i said about teachers was dumb. i don’t believe that at all about teachers, and i know my dad does it because he genuinely loves it and he’s great with kids
did you ever tell him that? because the utter contempt ... | YTA | YTA | YTA | ESH | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | 0.000375 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i (f19) recently got a job on campus as a secretary. i was visiting my parents... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i (f19) recently got a job on campus as a secretary. i was visiting ... |
AITA for looking back at someone during a performance? | my so and i went to see a performance of the nutcracker yesterday. it was a mid-day performance and we sat on the balcony. we were dressed up, everyone else was dressed up, tickets weren't cheap ($50 for balcony seats).
prior to the show starting, a group sat in the row behind us with a couple of toddlers. one of the... | 1,028 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zk0jx4/aita_for_looking_back_at_someone_during_a/ | 2022-12-12 14:27:26 | nta- as someone who works at a performance arts theatre that puts on the nutcracker every december, this is a constant issue. people pay good money for these shows and then they are disrupted by kids and their parents do not care at all. the mother should be taken the kid out if they wont stop talking it's distracting ... | nta. these kinds of parents are literally the worst. i would have gotten my money back. | nta. don't take your small children to a performance show if they can't keep quiet and disrupts the other guests. or at the very least she could've left with her toddler for a few minutes until the kid calmed down. | nta you take the toddler to the other show. if you do take the toddler to this show and they are not quiet, you walk out with them. do people not do this anymore? | **nta**
but the next time this goes on for more than a couple of minutes, go get an usher. it is their job to "politely encourage" disruptive people (or people with small, disruptive children) to leave the theatre until they (or their offspring) can stop disrupting the performance, which is also stressful for performe... | nta! the parents who refuse to parent or have any kind of common courtesy for other people are the worst! the kinds that think they're entitled to let their children run amok while everyone else has to suffer is inconsiderate, selfish, rude & shouldn't be tolerated. people who think it's okay to disturb others and ... | nta. equivalent to taking a crying baby to movie theater. you know your kids, you know they'll be like that. so don't go or hire a baby sitter. why should other people suffer just so only you can enjoy the show. | so wait
instead of talking to an usher and having them handle the situation...you just left?
go complain
tell them the children are talking throughout the performance. ask the usher to warn the mother that they will be asked to leave if they can't be quiet
never engage people personally like this. let the employe... | nta. those people were ah to bring a kid that young to the show. it’s horribly inconsiderate. instead of leaving, i would have found an usher during intermission and ask it he could handle the situation so that everyone could enjoy the show they paid to see. | nta. well done for standing up to her. you could have taken it up with the theatre, arguing that you were unable to enjoy the show; you'd probably get a partial refund, and more importantly, it would motivate the theatre to make it clear what behavior is expected. | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | ESH | NTA | NTA | 0.010125 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: my so and i went to see a performance of the nutcracker yesterday. it was a mi... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
my so and i went to see a performance of the nutcracker yesterday. i... |
AITA for making a baby blanket that my coworkers newborn ended up being allergic to? | i (19m) made a blanket for my coworker (24f) as a present for her baby boy that was due the next month. it was 100% cotton, handmade, and free, as it was just me being nice. once he was born, she was overjoyed. but when she used the blanket to swaddle her son, he ended up getting a rash from the material. she blamed me... | 2,879 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/p689la/aita_for_making_a_baby_blanket_that_my_coworkers/ | 2021-08-17 17:23:01 | nta, clearly.
however - is the baby actually allergic to cotton? could it be something else like detergent and the blanket just needs a wash in something different? | nta. your coworker has some nerve! she is quite the entitled selfish self centered ah.
don’t make her another blanket! she can spend her own money to buy a blanket for her own child. | nta
she has no right to that sort of demand for your labor.
and i really doubt that a 100% cotton blanket is what caused the problem. i'm more inclined to consider the clothes the baby was wearing under the blanket, or else something used when washing the child, their clothes, or the blanket. or, if the blanket was... | i've been working with people for allergies for almost 40 years and i can tell you that i have never seen an allergy to cotton, it is almost unheard of. it might be the detergent or dryer sheets are highly allergenic. but anyway you look at it the way she acted was absolutely ridiculous. and to demand you make another ... | nta you can't have been the only person to gift something made of cotton. | nta.
you gave it as a gift, you didn't know her kid had an allergy, she didn't know he had an allergy, and on top of that, it was free! now, she's demanding another? ignore her. | what the…? you didn’t take an unborn baby’s unknown allergies into account? of course, nta. it’s unfortunate that the baby is allergic to cotton (although i wonder if it’s actually an allergy to the laundry detergent or something), but that is not something you could have anticipated. | i'm confuzzled. you made the baby a blanket before said baby was born, but you were supposed to know the baby was allergic? by that logic, i can only assume that mom knew the baby was allergic, and still used it on the baby.
sarcasm aside, she is a new mom with what i assume is her first baby. she is freaking out r... | nta. you gave a very nice gift and while it is unfortunate the baby is allergic to it ... her attitude makes her the asshole. | nta!
do you have any pets at home? cotton allergies are super super rare.
tell her to go pound sand. you owe her nothing. | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | NTA | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i (19m) made a blanket for my coworker (24f) as a present for her baby boy tha... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i (19m) made a blanket for my coworker (24f) as a present for her ba... |
AITA For telling my GF she doesn't need to keep breastpumping | we have a 4.5 month old daughter. my gf always has been pro natural milk. i see the advantages of both natural milk and formula. when she was still on maternity leave everything was ok. baby was eating from her breast.
since she started working again she also had to start breastpumping to keep up with the natural mil... | 2,444 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/lnfq7e/aita_for_telling_my_gf_she_doesnt_need_to_keep/ | 2021-02-19 13:22:14 | yta. you can’t just skip a pumping session, that’s not how it works. if she skips, the milk is still there, skipping solves no problems at all. | >. and honestly not fun to be around.
this alone makes yta | yta - if she just skips a session like you suggested she’ll wake up in pain, poss having soaked herself/bed and could develop mastitis. if you have a problem with her attitude from being tired see if you can help out more by helping clean the pump parts, taking care of the baby so she can nap/rest. bfing can be very be... | as a mom that nursed....she's tired and no matter how tired she is you should encourage her. if she decides tomorrow to stop pumping-support that.
i nursed both my kids for a looooooong time. never did my husband discourage me.
neither of you are assholes...you are tired parents. | yta
you don't understand breastfeeding. you can not just "skip a pump". your breasts need to be expressed every few hours or they will become engorged, inflamed, painful, and even infected. you can get severe infections from not expressing properly like mastitis. leaving the breast milk unexpressed causes pain to the ... | sorry but... yta. breast feeding and expressing manually are very taxing work. it’s also an extremely personal decision that is intrinsic to motherhood for a lot of mums. yeah it sucks and she will (rightfully) complain about lack of sleep. it’s one of those situations where you gotta help where you can and encourage h... | i wouldn’t say you’re necessarily ta but you don’t understand how hard it is to keep a milk supply flowing. your baby needs milk for another eight months and your wife wants to supply that. if a woman doesn’t express milk then her breasts can become engorged, which is painful, and she could develop mastitis. unfortuna... | yta
she's going above and beyond for your child and you're griping that she's tired and "honestly not fun to be around". wonder what she'd say about you? | i think your intentions are good but yta. unless you are, yourself, actively producing breast milk, you have no idea what that's like and what it entails. none whatsoever. is it inconvenient for everyone involved except the baby? it sure is. would mama loooooooooooooove to get that extra 30 minutes of sleep? you betcha... | yta
this isn't about you. | YTA | YTA | YTA | null | YTA | YTA | null | YTA | YTA | YTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: we have a 4.5 month old daughter. my gf always has been pro natural milk. i se... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
we have a 4.5 month old daughter. my gf always has been pro natural ... |
AITA for saying my sister in law should pay for her own car? | i’m getting ready to leave my husband. applying to jobs, looking at women shelters near said jobs, but i haven’t told my husband i’m leaving him yet.
today i’m getting ready to go to the gym, and i notice that our car is gone. i ask my husband and he says his sister and law took it because she has a doctors appointme... | 270 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/bn6ys7/aita_for_saying_my_sister_in_law_should_pay_for/ | 2019-05-11 02:20:19 | nta
assuming that this isn’t something you bring up constantly, it seems like a reasonable statement and your soon to be ex is disproportionately acting the asshole here.
plus side, extra money? | take the 8 thousand and run and you're not the asshole. runnnnnnnn | nta and if there was $8k available, this 3-way car sharing shouldn't have even been necessary | you are clearly nta, but i don’t really understand why you care. you apparently dislike him enough to be interested in moving to a women’s shelter. take the money, find someplace cheap and safe to stay near public transportation and find any job for the moment that you can get to from there. | info; who actually owns the cars? who paid for them? | nta at all. three adults sharing one car is complicated even with communication.
sidenote, is it weird that he just had $8k on hand after periods unemployment while your accounts were used up supporting everyone? i'd maybe look into that... | i don't think it matter either way. 8k yo! nta. | nta
leave this dude. this is not a marriage. he doesn't tell you anything and cares more about his sister's welfare over yours. | nta , 8 grand for the gtfo fund. win! | nta. i mean your situation sounds terrible, and they totalled your car so i don't see why they would expect you to go through all this without getting annoyed. just glad you're leaving and slowly getting out of this mess. sounds like both siblings have got some serious issues. | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | INFO | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0.003 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i’m getting ready to leave my husband. applying to jobs, looking at women shel... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i’m getting ready to leave my husband. applying to jobs, looking at ... |
AITA for getting mad at my GF for not telling me she used to date my boss? | i've been dating my gf for the past 10 months and i got hired 4 months ago at my boss's company.
yesterday we had a mini-ceremony at the end of the day to commemorate a landmark of the company and my boss took some of us out for drinks. i told my gf i was going out with some coworkers (i didn't mention that my boss wo... | 857 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/erw39l/aita_for_getting_mad_at_my_gf_for_not_telling_me/ | 2020-01-21 15:26:11 | yta
she dated him for a few months, three years ago. dude, it's not her responsibility to tell you about such a non event.
you're out of line. | yta
the fact you got so angry that you couldn't think straight over this says it all. she dated him 3 years ago for a few months. that's inconsequential, and if she knows you well enough to know that you'd react like this it's no wonder she didn't mention it before. | your gf slept with lumbergh?! | nta at all. she was letting you walk into a potentially shitty working situation.
typically, i kind of believe that what you did before the relationship isn't really that persons business. but in this case, it absolutely was your business. i mean literally, it is your professional life that this information affects... | um... nta. that’s still his boss. she could’ve at least mentioned it since she was with him before he started. a heads up doesn’t hurt. maybe he would have chosen another job if given the option. it’s better than being blind sided. | i'm going to go against the grain here and say esh. if my partner told me they were applying to a company whose owner i had previously dated, no matter how long ago or for what length of time, i would disclose that information right then and there so they could make an informed decision as to whether the benefits of wo... | nta. if she had said she didn't know he still worked there that'd be one thing, but it sounds like she was actively trying to hide that from you. lying by omission is a thing and people who act like it isn't a big deal are liable to be doing it for much more.
she's right in that the details of their relationship are ... | nta she intentionally hid it from you | > i got flustered and asked a few questions
info: what questions did you ask her? | nta, i had a manager treat me horribly just because she had a thing for my bf at the time. your gf definitely should've given you the heads up. she didn't have to give any details, just let you know they dated and let you decide of you wanted to take the job. | YTA | YTA | null | NTA | NTA | ESH | NTA | NTA | INFO | NTA | 0.445169 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i've been dating my gf for the past 10 months and i got hired 4 months ago at ... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i've been dating my gf for the past 10 months and i got hired 4 mont... |
AITA for not wanting to share my 21st birthday dinner with an underprivileged kid (17?M) | before officially moving out in august, a huge fight between me and my brother, “randy,” (25m) caused me to leave my parents house about a month earlier. randy lives at home with my parents. he is formally diagnosed with add, but could suffer from other mental health disorders too.
randy damages his car all the time,... | 773 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ddiw3t/aita_for_not_wanting_to_share_my_21st_birthday/ | 2019-10-05 05:07:51 | nta. that’s fucking weird of your family. no one should be asked to share a birthday party with a stranger.
have you thought about ditching your family and going out with friends? it’s your 21st birthday, after all. | nta.
this wasn't something discussed or asked, this was something told. you had no idea at all as you started making plans with your family that they would insist upon this. and that speaks a lot to the way they still view you. (as a child without choice)
particularly when it's dinner. i mean, you can have two seper... | nta but i don't know if you're going to be able to refuse sharing your dinner with will without refusing to have a dinner at all. | nta.
will isn't your friend. he isn't a sibling. he's some random kid your brother is pushing the burden of onto your parents. why the fuck does will need to be a part of your celebration, and why does randy's wants/needs and now even some random kid's needs wants come before yours? this is the sort of shit that leads... | nta. put your foot down on this one! you only have one 21st birthday, so you should make it as fun as possible for you. if your family isn't going to i make it that way for you, then go out with your friends instead. | nta fuck that kid. your parents dont seem like very good parents kid, sorry. i would say the hell with it and do your own thing with your boyfriend. less stressful that way. | nta, dawg on your 21st you should be having fun and getting lit (if that’s your thing), not humoring someone who’s friends w your abusive brother. sorry you’re dealing w this. could make a good r/entitledparents story. | nah.
you probably could have shortened this down to a couple sentences. i think you’re taking your frustration about randy out on will. but i also think 21 is a big birthday and you wanna spend it with people you care about and feel important. i don’t think there’s any problem with wanting to have one day or one dinn... | info: what do you mean when you say he was abusive to you?
i find it alarming that someone who supposedly is such an awful person generally is deliberately seeking out vulnerable teens and showering them (or well, having your parents shower them) with gifts. i'm not one to get immediately suspicious of this sort of th... | nta. i know what you are going through. they are “fixers.” they want to “help” but don’t appreciate the kids they don’t need to help and just enjoy their time with. it’s sucks they don’t get it’s a special bday.
i would tell them you changed plans to a loud bar with your friends. go see the grandparents and take them ... | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NAH | INFO | NTA | 0.007204 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: before officially moving out in august, a huge fight between me and my brother... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
before officially moving out in august, a huge fight between me and ... |
AITA for drinking wine? | my son had a playdate yesterday, and his little friend ended up staying for dinner. we had spinach salad with chicken for dinner. the kids drank watered down apple juice, and my husband and i each had a glass of wine.
when timmy's (not his real name obvs) mom came to pick him up she saw our wine glasses and asked if w... | 405 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/v2kl4s/aita_for_drinking_wine/ | 2022-06-01 16:12:36 | nta. if mom has "rules" about what you can or can't do with her son, she should probably pack documentation when she sends him elsewhere. sheesh | nta. as long as you didn’t serve the kid wine or get shitfaced, it doesn’t matter. this other mother sounds like an absolute nightmare. | nta. sounds like little timmy is in for a rough childhood. | nta. what is she trying to shelter him from ? does she expect her kid to not know what alcohol is ? or that some drink that are for adults only exists ? does she thinks that him seeing you drinking will turn him into an alcoholic ?!
also, lol at the rabbit food. this women is definitely entitled. | nta; you’re not daycare/a restaurant and (i assume) you weren’t going to be driving anywhere. it’s not like you’d downed half a bottle of vodka and stripped naked in front of timmy. re. the “rabbit food”, on playdates my daughter often got served food she couldn’t eat; i always thanked the parents for feeding her, an... | nta - what in the literal fuck? people are the worst. | nta. it would only be inappropriate if you were drunk, but a glass for dinner is pretty normal. some people just have weird hangups or she could be a religious fundamentalist who thinks alcohol use is a sin. | info - is timmy's mum religious/ a non drinker? nta with the rabbit food - i could eat more of that as i've become a bit like cartman in recent months | nta. choosing to not drink in front of a kid isn’t going to do any good. obviously if you’re getting drunk that would be one thing, but otherwise it’s a crazy request from them. also the fact she’s calling spinach “rabbit food” and saying she will have to feed him a “real dinner” now leads me to believe timmy mom is a ... | red wine with chicken? i’m on the fence here.
jk, nta. | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | INFO | NTA | NTA | 0.003 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: my son had a playdate yesterday, and his little friend ended up staying for di... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
my son had a playdate yesterday, and his little friend ended up stay... |
AITA fo not waking up with my wife anymore | we have a 4 month old daughter, and i’m a stay at home dad. my wife and i used to take the same train into the city for work, so we woke up at the same time. but since i don’t work anymore there’s no reason to wake up that early.
she wakes up around 6am every work day, and i now wake up around 7:45 or whenever our dau... | 441 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/euyh0s/aita_fo_not_waking_up_with_my_wife_anymore/ | 2020-01-28 01:44:01 | nta. stay at home parents of small children grab sleep where they can. tell her you will get up with her if she does 1/2 the night time duties. | nta.
you’re both sleep deprived, and that can make people fight about silly stuff, but staggering sleep is one of the things people with young babies have to do.
if you’re taking the night feedings, and making sure she gets a little time to herself/cover so she can sleep in on weekends/otherwise are generous with yo... | nah. she probably just misses spending time with you. now, it sounds like you don’t see her much just her. most of the evenings are likely with your daughter as well. you might want to try waking up with her two or three times a week just to have a cup of coffee together | nta
you’re a stay at home parent. your job starts the minute kiddo wakes up and doesn’t end until after she goes to bed. if you can sleep in a little, that’s great. surely mom sleeps in on her days off.
she may just be cranky being the one to work. have a conversation about it. | nta. she’s not considering the night waking. tell her that if she wants you up early, you’ll split the nighttime duties with her. | nah. parenting is a relay race and it's important that you guys are working together.
it sounds like this might be a fight about deeper issues. maybe she misses your old ritual of getting up in the morning and getting out of the house together. maybe she just wants to spend some adult time with you. maybe she has gui... | maybe i'm biased but as a mom twice over who was in your position during maternity leave, an emphatic nta. | nta - you have enough n t a votes, but i still feel compelled to comment. what the actual hell kind of logic is that? how is that fair in anyway? your job is to be a stay at home dad, and that job doesn’t require you to be up until 7:45am. what are you supposed to do in that two hours? watch her get ready? your wife is... | nta try and talk to her about everything you do during the day. she might feel like she's pulling an unfair amount of weight | nta but it might be worth asking your wife why this upsets her so much?
if it’s because she feels like getting up together in the mornings would be an opportunity to spend some child-free time together, then that’s something worth discussing - even if you make that time later in the day instead of the morning.
howeve... | NTA | NTA | NAH | NTA | NTA | NAH | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0.002 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: we have a 4 month old daughter, and i’m a stay at home dad. my wife and i used... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
we have a 4 month old daughter, and i’m a stay at home dad. my wife ... |
AITA For leaving in the middle of my brother's wedding? |
i f28 grew up with mybrother m32 and step sister f25 we love each others so much but but the whole family in general we have our fair share of problems.
i used to be with a guy "chris" but things did not work out between us and we parted ways because he wanted us to. i'm glad things turned out this way and that i was... | 4,574 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/oryp9n/aita_for_leaving_in_the_middle_of_my_brothers/ | 2021-07-26 13:27:42 | nta - your stepmother can hardly accuse you of “causing guests to notice you” by leaving when her own daughter basically upstaged her brother’s wedding!?! like do they even know how incredibly tacky and disrespectful it is to propose at somebody else’s wedding unless you’ve explicitly cleared it with the bride and groo... | nta. while it would have been nice to be able to support your brother at his wedding. you were not going to be able to do that anyways with being put in such a vulnerable situation.
maybe an apology to your brother and his wife explaining you didn’t want to make more of a scene by becoming too emotional at their weddi... | [deleted] | nta. there are billions of people in the world. unless you live on a one mile island, why did your step sister have to go for this one? and then seem to throw it in your face repeatedly after.
proposing at a wedding is like a who other layer on this asshole cake. those two should have been tossed out, but i get your ... | esh except for your brother whose wedding was hijacked by the proposal and your tantrum. | nta- you removed yourself from an uncomfortable situation. you are not the one who disrupted the wedding-they were. you don’t have to be in love with the guy but chris was a disrespectful asshole and your stepsister sounds like someone who needs constant attention. | yeah slightly ta here, but you’re not wrong in being upset. everyone knows you don’t propose at a wedding. that is the bride and groom’s special day, not anyone else’s. shame on them for pulling that stunt.
you knew your brother really wanted you to be part of his wedding and you bailed on him. that was kind of a low ... | nta because you can’t control how you feel.
however, it’s been two years since your breakup. when you saw the proposal, you feelings and thoughts weren’t “wow, how tacky. and with a ring he wanted to buy someone else? i really dodged a bullet there.” they were to literally become ill and run.
you haven’t processed yo... | a soft yta only because you should have shat on them for proposing at your brothers wedding and defended him. that’s cause for a commotion but not in a good way for them. i feel the most bad for him and his wife | esh except the brother and his wife, first chris and the stepsister have a proposal and then op walks off in a dramatic fashion punishing her brother for something he wasn't even a part off or knew about, poor brother both of his sister's let him down.
they made his wedding day about them.
i was very close to voting... | NTA | NTA | null | NTA | ESH | NTA | null | NTA | YTA | ESH | 0.320187 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i f28 grew up with mybrother m32 and step sister f25 we love each others so m... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i f28 grew up with mybrother m32 and step sister f25 we love each o... |
AITA for saying "sounds like a you problem" in response to my friend telling me his grandma died | so i've(23f) known this friend(26m) for about a three years now. we met in college and have only actually hung out a few times in person but we are far away from each other so nowadays our relationship is just texting and occasionally facetiming. sometimes it gets flirty but i've been seeing someone else for a few mon... | 2,956 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/stgptr/aita_for_saying_sounds_like_a_you_problem_in/ | 2022-02-15 23:31:22 | yta
lost a friend by making an inappropriate joke? sounds like a you problem. | esh. it wasn't ok when he said it about your dog, and it wasn't ok to say about his grandma. you should've stopped being friends with him after he said that about your dog, not become an ah too. | he blocked you on every platform on the planet and you're asking *us*?
yeah, yta | yes yta and now that your friend blocked you, it sounds like it's a "you" problem. | sounds like yta, unfortunately. there's just a time for those kinds of jokes. actually, your dog dying was not a great time for him to make the joke either. but not really an excuse for you to do the same.
this assumes his grandmother actually died, of course. whether she did or didn't, sounds to me like something shi... | lol both of y’all are the worst | yta for waiting those 15 minutes. i wouldn't be surprised if all this could have been avoided had you followed up your first text immediately.
dark inside jokes can be fine, and not inherently out of place depending on your relationship with someone. but he was in a bad place and reached out to you. and instead of pro... | let this be a life lesson on how to act tactfully.
to this day i still cringe at the memory of me blurting out to a patient to "have a great day" right after the doctor i was shadowing told the patient that he had terminal cancer. it's why i use "take care" as my de facto farewell message now. | info i'm kind of confused... did he not say the same thing about your dog dying? i know it's not the same but idk why it was an established thing he took part in previously why he didn't know it was part of your friendship code. | yta.
there is a time and place for snarky inside jokes. someone telling you they’re struggling emotionally with a close family members death is not it.
it’s honestly hard to believe a 23 year old could be so immature - but here we are i guess. | YTA | ESH | YTA | YTA | YTA | null | YTA | null | INFO | YTA | 0.012234 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: so i've(23f) known this friend(26m) for about a three years now. we met in col... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
so i've(23f) known this friend(26m) for about a three years now. we ... |
AITA because I won’t let my Ex’s family see my dog? | this post stays here not for any other use
so this story begins a few years ago. i met a guy and we had been dating for 3 years when i left to hike the appalachian trail. during this time i got a dog, my ex didn’t spend a dime on her other than a collar. i off and on lived with his mother and brother and his mom wou... | 192 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/j51axg/aita_because_i_wont_let_my_exs_family_see_my_dog/ | 2020-10-04 16:01:50 | nta, it's your dog. they were just dogsitting for you, as per the agreement.
her and her son are assholes. | nta. you are better off cutting all ties with them. the idea that her son was wonderful for telling you her son cheated is insane. keeping in contact with them will most likely result in more abuse from them and, possibly, them trying to steal the dog back. | nta, keep these people away from you. | nta. it’s your dog and even if they were good to your dog, they seemed to be shitty towards you and having to bring your dog to see them would be super uncomfortable. there’s no such thing as joint custody of a pet, she’s a dog, not a child and i get the feeling that this family will do whatever it takes to get your d... | if the dog is involved with them, then you will have to be involved with them. the balance just isn't there. your dog will love you and be happy, even without them in her life. it's not worth having to interact with a horrible person who cheated on you and said horrible things about you, or the person who defends hi... | nta. they didn’t respect your wishes that the dog go with your parents, so you shouldn’t trust them at all. then she asks you to keep quiet about what a dickhead her son is. cut contact and move on. be thankful your dog is safe. | i'm gonna go with yta for adopting a dog while you were planning a 6 month long trip where you weren't going to be taking care of it.
of course the ex's mother wants to keep the dog, from what it sounds like she raised it and trained it.
unless there's a time factor i'm missing. you said you were planning the trip f... | null | null | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | YTA | null | null | null | 0.057131 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: this post stays here not for any other use so this story begins a few years ag... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
this post stays here not for any other use so this story begins a fe... |
AITA for causing ~22k€ vet bills, because I give moms dogs to our local authorities? | hay reddit, this happened a while ago, but i decide to ask for judgement now. first, english is not my main language, sorry for my bad grammar.
my (25m) mom(51) and her new family wanted to have a family vacation, but they have 2 dogs which they don't wanted to bring with them, so they decide to ask every one of their... | 3,161 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/olk6jy/aita_for_causing_22k_vet_bills_because_i_give/ | 2021-07-16 16:19:53 | nta family is 150% the asshole. nothing of that was your fault, they caused all their own problems. in fact you are helping those dogs get the medical stuff they need. | >the whole extended maternal-family is now bitching on my phone, to force me to pay for the treatment of moms stupid dogs.
>
>i don't know from where they have this mindset, but they exactly now i am on minimal contact with my mom, and that i hate dogs. am i wrong here?
&#x200b;
* the same family who... | nta
you told them "no," and they left the dogs in your yard.
you called them to get the dogs, and they refused. the only part where you might be criticized is if you didn't warn them you intended to call animal control. frankly, the cost for the treatment sounds like a scam, and mandatory treatment sounds even more s... | nta
the dogs were abandoned on your property, and who knows what could happen between the time your parents tied them up and you found them.
and to have an account of that amount, your parents must have neglected the dogs' health.to present such a health problem, they must have given several signs before. | [removed] | nta!
poor dogs. they must have been in pain if they were so sick. glad they got help. you aren't responsible for the cost at all! you did the right thing by contacting authorities. | [deleted] | nta, you denied responsibility of the dogs and they decided on their own that you owe them. you owe them nothing and have every ground to no pay them a penny.
based on what they did, i would consider that abandonment to leave 2 dogs at someone's home who has no interest in caring for them and has agreed to not care f... | you didn't cause those bills. you didn't agree to care for the dogs. and your family sucks on all levels. i understand why youre lc with them.
nta | nta. pets and children are not to be dumped on anyone without explicit consent. doing so is neglect and calling the proper authorities is what one does when neglect is made clear. the fact that they now have to pay for their neglect is not a you problem. nta | NTA | null | NTA | NTA | null | NTA | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: hay reddit, this happened a while ago, but i decide to ask for judgement now. ... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
hay reddit, this happened a while ago, but i decide to ask for judge... |
AITA for not wanting my soon to be sister in laws son to destroy my daughter's room? | so i, 30f, have a sister in-law who has an autistic son. my sister in law has been spoiled her entire life and generally thinks people should do what she wants, when she wants. everytime they come to my house, she lets her son destroy things in my daughter's room and dump toys all over the floor. he has broken a life-s... | 344 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/wugmjq/aita_for_not_wanting_my_soon_to_be_sister_in_laws/ | 2022-08-22 01:48:47 | nta
your daughter deserves to have her space respected. if another child, no matter their disability, cannot respect her space, they can play in other spaces provided to them. | ntae.... not the asshole enough.
stop trying to please everyone, give your sil a bill for replacing and all the things her kid trashed, and once she pays it, -as she is legally obligated to do as his parent- then stop having everyone over | nta set your boundaries in your home | nta
you seem to have been as patient as one could reasonable expect you to be. the very least she could do is clean up after her son, let alone make sure he isn’t destroying your daughters things. it’s the parents job to be responsible for their own child, and it doesn’t seem like that’s the case with your sister-in-... | if she and her family are that upset about it, they are welcome to pay for someone to clean the room and pay to replace damaged items each time sil's son plays in there.
nta | nta. it's your daughter's room, not a generic play room. your sil is an entitled ah, and your bil is her enabler.
you are not going to make everyone happy here, so choose yourself and your daughter's happiness. | nta
your fiance needs to handle this, because it's his family, and he needs to say, "brother/sil, when y'all come over, you don't replace what nephew breaks, you don't clean up his messes, and you don't supervise your child to prevent these problems in the first place. before you make demands of us, you need to get y... | nta
you have every right to set boundaries in your own home. your sil is setting her son up for failure | i think your sil has other siblings & siblings in law that have the same problem with her.
might be the same one as in this post - [https://www.reddit.com/r/amitheasshole/comments/wiuneo/aita\_for\_not\_replacing\_my\_daughters\_belongings/](https://www.reddit.com/r/amitheasshole/comments/wiuneo/aita_for_not_repl... | nta. your daughter deserves to have her space too. | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: so i, 30f, have a sister in-law who has an autistic son. my sister in law has ... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
so i, 30f, have a sister in-law who has an autistic son. my sister i... |
AITA for leaving my parents at lunch right after they told me my aunt died | i met my parents for a late lunch just a little bit ago. to give some background we don't get along real well, but are making an effort since we've grown tired of fighting. now onto where i might be the asshole.
my dad's sister has been fighting cancer for a couple years now, but recently had not been doing well. me a... | 1,103 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ozf88l/aita_for_leaving_my_parents_at_lunch_right_after/ | 2021-08-06 20:48:01 | nta. this is news they should have called you about when it happened. i don't understand what they were thinking to tell you casually and then act all surprised when you had a strong reaction. jesus. | your response was honestly way better than anything i would have done. you are absolutly not the asshole, your parents on the other hand are totaly ta in this situation. your parents were not only not empathetic towards you, they even (in my opinion) disrespected your dead aunt. and they want to say you are disrespectf... | huge nta. i'm so sorry for your loss. you deserved to find out in a calm and private setting. | nta. dude. they have got to know how insensitive it us to tell someone all these details after being told that it was an uncomfortable topic.
even i know when not talk about death(which i have no issues with) | "walking back to my car i get a text saying i was disrespectful. i tried to explain\[...\]"
no offense and i don't mean to be .. well, mean here, but to me it feels like the time for explanations is over, you don't need to explain a completely normal reaction to them and overall it also doesn't seem like they reall... | nta, and i'm so very, very sorry that your parents could only focus on the 'disrespect' (i believe they actually disrespected you by not sharing that news in a place where you could openly express your feelings) and don't see how what they did was wrong. your request to leave and talk about it out of the public eye was... | wow--not irrational at all and definitely nta.
what is wrong with your parents?! that's your dad's sister! | nta at all! my condolences, and you are absolutely correct that a public setting was not the appropriate place to break the news to you. | null | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | null | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i met my parents for a late lunch just a little bit ago. to give some backgrou... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i met my parents for a late lunch just a little bit ago. to give som... |
AITA for making my brother buy me a new shotgun after he likely ruined mine? dumbass fired a .50cal bmg out of my 12 gauge | i 22m live in an apartment with my 19m brother. i got hunting and shooting a lot so i got a bunch of guns. i was gone for a bit and i let my brother use mine to go hunting. he doesn't have a shotgun, just rifles, which he wanted to use to go duck hunting so i let him.
i see him on snapchat putting a .50cal bmg into th... | 582 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/k5avbm/aita_for_making_my_brother_buy_me_a_new_shotgun/ | 2020-12-02 15:06:36 | nta
"safety baby" - your family is stupid and should not be around guns. | nta: so he thinks it’s okay to ruin your property just to do stupid stuff with it? like if he scratched up someone’s car he would have to pay for damages. play stupid games win stupid prizes. his actions have consequences and it shouldn’t come out of your pocket. | nta.
holy shit he is playing with fire right there.
your fam seems like to have no clue about gun saftey but i don't trust guns, in this case a shotgun, that have been shot with wrong ammo.
safety first.
maybe you could get the gun checked if there was any damage to it,
to change the code to the safe was a good i... | nta
thank you for being a responsible gun owner. | nta. your family is for not caring about proper gun use and safety. | nta. that gun is unsafe to use and compromised. plenty of accidents have resulted in usage of compromised weapons or immediately from using ammunition not designed for it.
what your brother did was the equivalent of running an engine without motor oil. the engine is more or less destroyed. you are owed a new gun a... | nta.
questions of having guns in an apartment aside, you did exactly the right thing: refused to use an unsafe weapon, removed access to the weapons to an irresponsible user, and held your ground on him damaging your property. | nta. being a responsible gun owner makes you a "safety baby"? wtf. also, if brother wants to muck around with using the wrong ammo for a gun, he needs to use his own gun. not someone else's. you were right to demand money for a replacement and changing the code to you gun safe. | nta
> he said no and that i can continue using mine
ask him if he'd be comfortable driving his car if someone filled his tank with diesel.
(not as a revenge-threat, obviously, but as an example of a similar mistake and the damage it could cause) | nta, that's some dumb shit they did, that thing is your fucking baby for the level of responsibility you're bestowed by having it, your family calling you a wuss about it are the kinds of people to accidentally leave guns accessible to potential shooters or thieves.
that said while it sounds like you were too pissed t... | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i 22m live in an apartment with my 19m brother. i got hunting and shooting a l... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i 22m live in an apartment with my 19m brother. i got hunting and sh... |
AITA - Father In Law Cutting Trees in Front Yard | i work from home, and today i hear a chainsaw start up nearby. i almost ignore it, we're in the woods with neighbors a little close by, so i'm like, maybe its one of them. but i look and, no, that's my front yard, that's my father in law, and he's cutting up some small trees.
i confront him, and i'm like, what are you... | 167 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ud8bcx/aita_father_in_law_cutting_trees_in_front_yard/ | 2022-04-27 16:59:32 | nta, but fallen trees provide fire fuel, and in the country, a forest fire is everyone's business. if you are deliberately leaving dead and fallen trees because you just kinda want to, then you're the ah for allowing a situation that could not only endanger your land and property, but your neighbors as well.
and while... | nta if only you had some sort of device he could communicate with you on, to see if you wanted him to actually do that… | nta. wth, country life or not, he does not have the right to trespass on your property and cause damage. your wife is caught between you and your fil, but she needs to understand and support the person she married.
having said that, the property is **yours (plural)**. it belongs to both you and your wife. did sh... | nta. ask your wife if she would be ok with your mother coming into the house and doing some things she (your mother) felt needed taken care of without asking first.
regardless of intention, it is basic consideration to ask permission before going on someone’s property. as someone who grew up in the country, people li... | nta. it's only land, but it's your land. | nta, your fil needs to learn to mind his own business.
>fil: "well if we had to have asked, we wouldn't have bothered coming."
this to me says he know he's not welcome and chose to trespass anyway. he is ta and needs a reality check. put up a sign that says "we don't fire warning shots" | null | null | null | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | null | null | null | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i work from home, and today i hear a chainsaw start up nearby. i almost ignore... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i work from home, and today i hear a chainsaw start up nearby. i alm... |
AITA for saying that a customer’s daughter bullied me back in high school, we weren't friends? | so i work at a department store in a mall near where i grew up. i was bullied in hs. not to the end of my rope, but it wasn’t pleasant. i don’t think about it a lot, but sometimes people from hs come through my store. i just do my job and am pleasant to them because i need the money.
anyway a woman came through to pi... | 8,748 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/r5p7h4/aita_for_saying_that_a_customers_daughter_bullied/ | 2021-11-30 15:05:21 | nta
mum just realized she heard her daughter talking about somebody she bullied and did not put 2 and 2 together. she just reakized by pushing she learned her daughter is/was a ah and a bully and was embarrassed by it. | yta you brought the connection up- what did you think was going to happen? she didn't know who you were, her daughters probably never mentioned you she was trying to be polite to someone who seemed to know her family. this entire interaction wouldn't have happened if you hadn't forced it. what, did you think you would ... | yta why would you bring up the connection only to hit her with that? it was completely unnecessary. | nah - you probably shouldn't have said anything, and she shouldn't have pushed. these errors aren't enough to make anyone the asshole. | yta you brought it up. you basically trapped her into telling her that her daughter was a bully. obviously the daughter is an ah for bullying you (bullies suck). but what good did it do to bring it up to her mom in a store in front of strangers while you were working?? theres a time and a place and this was definitely ... | yta
you sought out this conversation specifically because you wanted to deliver that feedback, which if you were on your own time is one thing, but totally unprofessional of you to do at work, unprovoked. i'd fire you for harassing the customers and creating a toxic environment. | nta
not like you broke down in tears or gave horrible descriptions of what they did.
plus, this was more of the other person pushed you to say something because you did deflect it like 2 times (“in my grade” and “not on volleyball team”) | it seems i'm going against the grain here, but yta.
obviously the daughters are ahs for the bullying, but they're not part of this story. this is an interaction between you, who works in customer service, and their mother, a paying customer who didn't bully you in high school.
as part of your job you usually have t... | yta
you brought it up and started the conversation. | yta, there was no reason to bring up the connection and make the interaction awkward. | NTA | YTA | YTA | NAH | YTA | YTA | NTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | 0.257125 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: so i work at a department store in a mall near where i grew up. i was bullied ... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
so i work at a department store in a mall near where i grew up. i wa... |
AITA (f23) for getting angry at my partner (m26) for eating MY groceries? | i do not give permission for anyone to use my post. i’m on mobile, so sorry for formatting.
i promise the title isn’t as bad at it sounds. i have several food allergies that i recently found about over the last two years. in that time period i’ve completely switched out my diet. i’ve been buying my separate groceries ... | 461 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/r5ufjm/aita_f23_for_getting_angry_at_my_partner_m26_for/ | 2021-11-30 18:54:23 | nta- you have food allergies, he doesn’t. you need your food because it is all you can eat and he is just being a jerk and eating it, especially without asking. if it’s just food and not a big deal then he should just stop eating it. it doesn’t sound to me like he has your health and well being in mind. | nta. at all. i believe this is a form of weaponized incompetence. he “forgets”, or “it was an accident” or “i’ll remember next time” or “it’s not a big deal” and he refuses to see why it bothers you so much. since you’ve already lost so much money, i’d invest in a lockable fridge and to stop buying him groceries or coo... | nta. you should split the grocery bill 50/50 and then we'll see if its not really a big deal. | nta. invest in a lock box. they even make them for in the fridge. | nta. he isn’t forgetting, he’s cheap and lazy. if he eats your snacks, he should replace them, not make up some stupid excuse to justify his behavior, which showcases his lack of respect. | nta.
you need to have a serious conversation with him on why this is unacceptable behavior. you can only eat those specific, more expensive foods, while he can eat anything. it is basic respect to not eat those foods.
i have to buy special, more expensive foods because of allergies, intolerances and other annoying is... | nta.
>he said he forgot and that it wasn’t a big deal. i texted back telling him it was bullshit and that i’ve been “reminding” him for the last year and i can’t help if he’s too cheap to help buy groceries i can eat too when i buy them for him. he said i was being unreasonable and that it’s just food.
fuck this... | nta and a huge red flag.
*nobody* just "forgets" that someone they supposedly love has food issues -- allergies, texture/flavor issues, or just plain dislikes. (hell, i have a text file on my cell phone listing my family and friends' allergies and sensitivities, just to be on the safe side. i myself am mildly allergi... | info: why are you with this asshole? | nta - he's not forgetting, he's just a selfish ass. | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | INFO | NTA | 0.003 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i do not give permission for anyone to use my post. i’m on mobile, so sorry fo... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i do not give permission for anyone to use my post. i’m on mobile, s... |
AITA For expecting family to ask me for loans and not just expect it? | i come from a large family. everyone is going through a tough time right now. in particular my baby sister (29) who has had her hours drastically cut. she was expecting an unemployment check today but didn’t receive it and is too stressed to call to find out why. i get it, anxiety sucks. she says she’s ok for now but o... | 1,034 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/g2icdl/aita_for_expecting_family_to_ask_me_for_loans_and/ | 2020-04-16 16:35:43 | nta, like you said, she’s already refused profusely before, so if she’s really desperate and has no other options she’ll come to her family. i honestly think it’ll hurt her pride more if you all were to actively raise money and then give it to her. she’s an adult, and she can figure it out without her family holding he... | nta. you aren’t a psychic bank teller. if your sister wants to borrow money, she needs to ask. | nta. if you are so proud you can't ask for help then you shouldn't expect help imo. | if you're proud wouldn't getting a pity handout be worse than asking? nta | nta, your family is. it's fine for you to offer your sister money, and it's fine for her to refuse it. it's also fine for you to try and give her money anyway, but you don't have to. that last bit is what the rest of your family doesn't understand.
just so you can see where the line is: if you and your sister have a ... | > my entire family [...] kicked me out of the texting group
looks like a problem solved.
nta. | are you supposed to go around and offer loans in some secret regular schedule, on the off-chance it’ll be accepted? nta | nta. as you said, everyone's going through a hard time now. so why give money away you may need for your family in the future, if you don't know if it'll actually be appreciated or accepted | nta
it could help to read the article below that discusses “askers” and “guessers”. it could be that your family are predominately “guessers” so the idea of asking for something could be seen as rude and uncouth.
regardless of whether they are askers or guessers, kicking you out of the family chat is highly uncalled ... | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i come from a large family. everyone is going through a tough time right now. ... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i come from a large family. everyone is going through a tough time r... |
AITA for yelling at my neighbor over a gift they gave me? | i (34m) have been living alone for a while now, and my neighbor gave me a potted plant to put on my porch a week ago. they've given me other plants in the past too, which i've put in my backyard. this will be important later.
my neighbor stopped by a few days ago, and saw the plant. however, i had forgotten to water i... | 377 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/mhpoe2/aita_for_yelling_at_my_neighbor_over_a_gift_they/ | 2021-04-01 06:58:35 | nta, their behavior is very inappropriate, considering they were trespassing your property without your permission. the fact that they yelled at you instead of apologizing (!) and still feel entitled to come on your property demonstrates you were right to threaten to involve the authorities. invest in a ring doorbell c... | nta honesty i would’ve pulled an asshole move and just given the plant back to them. probably saying something along the lines of “if they care about it so much they should take it back”. | nta - this is just creepy. if they'd given you a dog would it be ok to break into your house to feed and play with it? no!!
once a gift is given, it's no longer their responsibility. you didn't ask for the plants or the responsibility that comes with them.
once everyone calms down, try talking to them about boundarie... | nta. they have no right to traipse all over your property without your permission, even if they gave you plants.
personally i would give them back the plants so they would hopefully leave me alone but you are under absolutely no obligation to do so. | i think nta. if she wanted to water the plants herself, why’d you she gift them to you?
plus her going around sneaking around your porch and backyard, that’s weird and fucked up. | null | null | null | null | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i (34m) have been living alone for a while now, and my neighbor gave me a pott... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i (34m) have been living alone for a while now, and my neighbor gave... |
AITA for wanting to rest after giving birth? | i am 7 months pregnant with my partner. he lives 3 hours away and does not contribute financially to my home. i pay for our blended family vacations and some extras for his two children (13 & 11 yo with his ex wife). he supports his home in another city. i also support my daughter (9 yo with my ex). i am paying for... | 1,435 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/sslybu/aita_for_wanting_to_rest_after_giving_birth/ | 2022-02-14 21:30:48 | nta and....why are you with this man? he sounds thoroughly unpleasant. with you stuck doing (and paying) for everything and him taking no accountability. end things with him, tell him he'll have to look after his own kids for a change. | nta and frankly, he doesn’t sound like much of a partner to me. sounds like he wants you to do all of the work while he does as little as possible. why are you having a baby with this man, exactly?? | nta but this man is not your partner. he’s someone you sleep with and do a lot of chores for including but not limited to raising his kids when they’re around who won’t even help after you do a massive task of giving birth. this won’t change and i can’t see why you’d want this. | oh, honey...nta
you're growing a human. you expect the father to give you basic courtesy. if you lower the bar for him, you're gonna need a shovel. you shouldn't dig after surgery.
also, most states pay disability for 12 weeks after a c-section. check it out. | nta.
jfc - why are you putting up with a man who treats you so badly? you’re nothing more than a maid and nanny to this man. | nta.
honestly, based on reading above, i do not understand why you call this person a "partner". i don't see the partnership. | nta. except you are the ah… to yourself.
look, you have enabled a grown man in being irresponsible and selfish. you contributed to (created?) a situation in which you are the breadwinner and he is the “kept man”.
you have role reversal - compared to the “traditional” set up.
you subsidize his expenses. you watch ... | nta - you already know his plan won't work. don't let him bully/gaslight you into giving in. he appears to be the one who is "dramatic".
you will be exhausted after giving birth, more so because your partner has proven to be not much of one. no, you are nta for wanting to rest after giving birth. for your sake, set f... | info: why are you dating him? because it seems like all you're getting out of this is stress and debt. | nta. what? this guy sounds like a serious scrub. please take care of yourself op! | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | INFO | NTA | 0.003 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i am 7 months pregnant with my partner. he lives 3 hours away and does not con... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i am 7 months pregnant with my partner. he lives 3 hours away and do... |
AITA for arguing with my gf over ‚free money‘ | tl; dr at the bottom
a week ago i won 2 vip tickets for a big sports event and decided to take my girlfriend to the event, she doesn‘t like the sport but i thought it‘d be a really nice experience since those tickets included all you can drink + eat in a really fancy environment.
when i received the tickets i realize... | 525 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cixjdk/aita_for_arguing_with_my_gf_over_free_money/ | 2019-07-28 15:59:43 | nta - not in the slightest! frankly this seems like an orange flag (not as bad as red) the tickets were yours, not hers she was merely an invited guest. | nta. it’s not *her* ticket, they’re *your* tickets and you invited her. | nta. and you should sell her vip ticket too and go have fun without her. surely she doesn’t want to go with an asshole | nta. this is treachery on her part. this is known as a warning shot, young man. i don't know what the rest of your relationship is like but if this kind of thing is common then think very hard before taking any further relationship steps. | nta
your gf is being absurd. she has zero claim to the tickets. the company even told you they were yours and to do whatever you want with them. | nta
just because you are taking her, doesn't mean it's her ticket. you won it. it's your ticket. she is just being greedy imo. | nta
she is being greedy - you won the tickets and they were yours! you could have taken anyone and you chose to take her the only ticket she is entitled to is the one she uses to gain access.
the promoters were nice to let you keep the "wrong" tickets, but one of those was never hers to get the cash - keep all the ca... | nta - that’s your prize and you can do what you want with them. you’re taking her as a guest. as far as i’m concerned, she’s not entitled to anything here. she’s being greedy. | nta she is an entitled brat. you're taking her somewhere completely at your cost and she complains about not being paid to do it? | nta indeed, and wow - your girlfriend needs an attitude adjustment. very selfish, and self absorbed. | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: tl; dr at the bottom a week ago i won 2 vip tickets for a big sports event and... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
tl; dr at the bottom a week ago i won 2 vip tickets for a big sports... |
AITA for asking why my mother opened my mail | so the mail came in today, at that time i (18m) wasn't home but my mother was. when i came home i saw a letter written specifically for me. but the thing was already opened. nobody else (except for my cat) was home at the time.
so i went to my mother and asked about it. well she went nuts and started yelling about ho... | 410 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/xy38xj/aita_for_asking_why_my_mother_opened_my_mail/ | 2022-10-07 16:16:12 | nta at all and it's actually a federal offence in the us. please consider moving out when possible. a really "useless" son would report it and have her arrested. | nope nta. besides the fact you're an adult, it's illegal. her reaction kind of says everything.
if you can't move out, consider renting a po box and having your mail forwarded there. | nta
you're a legal adult, no one can open your mail without your permission (you could receive sensitive information).
besides, your mother's reaction was exaggerated and bizarre. she exploded and then proceeded to guilt-trip you about your life, when you've only asked her a question. not a good sign. | [removed] | nta- there are like three options: your mom accidentally opened the letter, she purposely opened the letter, or someone else opened the letter. the first option is the least worrisome and seemingly the least likely. the other two options are concerning to your privacy and of course you would want to know whether your m... | it’s illegal to open someone’s mail. you did nothing wrong. nta | nta, her over reaction says it all. your legally an adult and she has no right to open your mail. | nta.
but you might want to pull your credit history and see if she's been using your name for anything.
a buddy of mine found out when he was 24 that his mother had been using his ssn for various other purposes for over a decade. | nta. it is illegal to open someone else’s mail. your mom is reacting this way because she doesn’t want you questioning why she’s snooping. she knows she’s wrong. | nta for asking..
to be honest i was horrified not so long ago. i had a load of packages. and by mistake i opened one that was wrongly given to me, and was meant to be for my neighbours.
i just went to them, told them it was between my packages and i didn't intend to open it. it was all a mistake... etc etc etc... | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: so the mail came in today, at that time i (18m) wasn't home but my mother was.... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
so the mail came in today, at that time i (18m) wasn't home but my m... |
AITA for removing a classmate from our final project of the semester last day? | for the past three months, i've been assigned a short and quite simple project that counts half the grade of my sociology course. at first, i was quite worried because one of my teammates was known for leaving everything last day. anyway, i told them i liked doing everything as early as possible, but i know i am known ... | 716 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/blf9b6/aita_for_removing_a_classmate_from_our_final/ | 2019-05-06 17:46:14 | nta.
you gave her every opportunity to work.
she did literally nothing between the time it was assigned and the time it was due.
not removing her would be an insult to everyone that worked hard. | nta.
she knew the deadline. she knew it was group work. she should have been more organised. she seems like she was banking on you guys picking up her part and putting her name on it. it’s a valuable life lesson for her.
side note, i was the asshole who left group work to the last minute and didn’t pull my weight. ... | nta. she really should have done the work | nta. she is almost definitely trying to manipulate you into feeling bad for her and giving her a break. if you have her notice that you would take her name off of the project then that’s fine. if you didn’t tell her that would be a different story. you might be someone who gets things done ahead of time but as a colleg... | nta. this is why i hate group projects. if the professor doesn't implement some kind of accountability system that is considered when allotting grades (such as teammates reporting how much each teammate contributed), there is always at least one free loader who benefits from your hard work. they know you want an a so b... | nta. hopefully this experience taught her about procrastination, doing the task assigned to you, and what you can lose out on because shit happens at the last minute. i'm even giving her the benefit of the doubt and assuming that she was actually sick, which could have been a lie. | nta.
i was a massive procrastinator in high school and college. i would pretty much always wait until the last weekend (if not day) to do **solo** assignments.
group work though? fuuuuuuck that, that shit affects other people. i would almost always be the first person to finish my part of a group project. about a qu... | nta. she had a ton of time to write 1000 words. | info nta you gave her plenty of time to submit her part and the failed to do so. were these assigned groups or did you get to pick to work with her? because if you chose to work with her knowing her work history and then cut her out then yta. | nta 1 bad week but she had 3 months to do it | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | INFO | NTA | 0.003 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: for the past three months, i've been assigned a short and quite simple project... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
for the past three months, i've been assigned a short and quite simp... |
AITA for telling my brother and SIL “you got your big day now you have deal with the consequences” | my (29f) brother (31m) and his wife (34f) got married two months ago, they had a destination wedding
unfortunately none of our side expect a cousin could attend due to multiple valid reasons which i list a short few
- grandparents (95f,98f,89m) = too old
- our parents= mom has breast cancer and my dad takes full c... | 19,460 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/r01d97/aita_for_telling_my_brother_and_sil_you_got_your/ | 2021-11-23 01:23:42 | nta. your brother and his wife obviously had grand visions for their wedding and seemed to be entirely tone deaf about the viability of those visions. that's not your fault or issue. they seem pretty immature. | nta. your brother doesn’t get to alienate his family, make it impossible for them to come to his wedding, and then turn around and play victim on the other side. | nta. they sound extremely privileged.. if you want people to go to your wedding, have it somewhere easily accessible.
you clearly tried your best to be a good brother and they treated you poorly in return. you have nothing to be sorry for. | if you find your brother's self-serving email "heartbreaking" despite the irrefutable bullet points you wrote about the reasons you all couldn't attend the self-indulgent destination wedding, then you should also be heartbroken that he's brain dead. sincere condolences on your mother and congratulations on your new ba... | nta
they got what they deserved.
>my bother and sil got extremely upset than left. my mother asked what happened but we told her he had the runs (diarrhoea) and needed to leave
love this btw, especially since it low key says that they left because they were being little shits lol | nta - op i am so sorry that at this time when you should be celebrating the birth of your child, you have to deal with your mother's bad news.
my mind is totally blown that your family meets while everyone is digesting the news that she only has 6 more months and your brother/sil want to discuss their wedding. get yo... | wow, what drama queens. definitely nta
we live in this world where people think that weddings are an excuse to be selfish and then they don't want to deal with the lifelong consequences that come with that. they sound like awful and entitled people all around. they made their plans knowing none of you would be able to... | wow. nta. that’s wild. | nta. destination weddings come with the possibility of not every desired guest in attendance. your brother choosing to cut off relationships with his family over very valid reasons for being unable to travel is his own problem. also, insisting people travel during the current global pavlova is incredibly selfish and ir... | nta. he can't call you names, go low contact, etc., and then wonder why-oh-why his siblings aren't being warm and welcoming to him. | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: my (29f) brother (31m) and his wife (34f) got married two months ago, they had... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
my (29f) brother (31m) and his wife (34f) got married two months ago... |
AITA for embarrassing a mother with three kids in front of the store? | first off, i know parenting is hard and all that. but i think if you sign up to be a parent you shouldn’t be forcing other people, let alone complete strangers, to take care of and pick up after your kids.
this lady came into the store where i’m the manager and had her three children with her. the kids were no older t... | 168 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/nmkeoq/aita_for_embarrassing_a_mother_with_three_kids_in/ | 2021-05-27 23:21:47 | nta. that was a pretty passive, tactful way to call her out, well done. | nta
not your fault her kids are acting like that and whatever circumstances lead to her needing to bring them with her to the store.
i feel like the people going yta are probably really shitty and entitled to serving staff and leave bad tips. | nta , that was a non confrontational way to make her think about her kids behavior and her parenting. i bet at least 2/3 are old enough to know that isn’t acceptable behavior. people need to be trained if they are going to be able to in public spaces. | nta
people need to actually parent their kids. telling them to stop touching things and going through the effort of putting everything back should be enough. | nta it's her job to teach her kids, if you actually address behaviors and how to act they don't become the type of kids/adults that can't walk through a store without simple respect for others and surroundings. | nta. i do this all the time. it doesn't teach anyone anything because if they were comfortable enough to do it before then they'll continue doing it again, but its cathartic and makes me feel better for a few minutes. | nta - people who act like this are awful stains on society. making the easily resolved issues they refuse to take care of on their own someone else's problem. this isn't someone struggling financially or with mental health issues. this is a lazy woman who decided to have multiple children and refuse to discipline them.... | null | null | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | null | null | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: first off, i know parenting is hard and all that. but i think if you sign up t... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
first off, i know parenting is hard and all that. but i think if you... |
AITA- for calling the police on my moms house party? | okay i just really want to know if i am fucked up for what i did.
last saturday my mother had a 20+ person family party which i wanted no part in. everytime my family comes they are loud, play loud music, obnoxious, get belligerently drunk. i am not even entirely sure if everyone is vaccinated. (if you are a latin per... | 1,116 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ptznyd/aita_for_calling_the_police_on_my_moms_house_party/ | 2021-09-23 17:02:16 | nta. you live there and should be considered. | inevitable conflict so gonna say ntah.
your mom should be allowed to have a party (assuming vaccinations) and you should be allowed to rest.
still, calling the cops on your own family is not ideal, just because the fallout could be bad if they find out. also, you might create larger problems for yourself if the polic... | nta i am latin as well and these family gathers literally make me want to fucking die. i don't think i would call the police, but luckily i don't have anything important to do the next day this things happen. | info
are these parties a regular occourance?
yta after rereading, if the police showed up 3 times and didn't shut down the party then the party wasn't as loud/awful as you thought it was. | >she proceeded to tell me, literally, to fuck off, if i don't like it to get out.
that's exactly what you should do.
nta | 3 times? if the police didn't do anything the first time, i have no idea why you called them out twice more? that's a huge waste of police time, and you're an ah for that alone.
i won't repeat what others have said in detail, but it's her house, and if she doesn't need all the rent you're paying her you should save i... | yta
you are 24 years old. if you want to live with your parents to save up money, fine, but then you need to respect how they live their lives. if you do not like it, you are perfectly capable of living on your own. if you were under 18 and had no choice then i might feel bad for you, but you actively choose to live ... | yta. yes you live there, sure you help out, but chances are this is your mothers house. she can have a party when and wherever she wants. im sure this isnt the first time she's had a party like this. the nerve of you to ask her to ask everyone to go home at 10pm?
yeah its not super considerate when you have to sleep,... | yta.
i 100% understand having sensory issues and not enjoying parties. however calling the cops on her is way overreacting. also, you e said that she's had these types of parties 6 times since you had to move back in, yet you haven't thought about setting some money aside for a hotel when she does have these parties?... | nta.
ny dad's side of the family is latino, i know exactly what party you're describing. i also wanna say that i grew up with very strong family values (mostly trust, respect and patience). for that exact reason, if a member of the family needed rest for school/work reason, that would be respected no question. special... | NTA | null | NTA | INFO | NTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | NTA | 0.942809 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: okay i just really want to know if i am fucked up for what i did. last saturda... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
okay i just really want to know if i am fucked up for what i did. la... |
AITA for "self diagnosing"? | side note: my parents never brought me into therapy for multiple reasons
the other day, i was talking to a friend, and i mentioned that i *think* i might have adhd, since i fit all of the traits and i have been researching it for about three years since that was the time i thought i had it.
they then called me an ah ... | 182 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/jihqlm/aita_for_self_diagnosing/ | 2020-10-26 16:30:26 | nta. mental illness isn't a zero-sum game. thinking you *might* have a condition takes nothing away from people who have been diagnosed. | you saying you think it's the keyword that imo makes it nta. if you're family is refusing to get you tested that's not your fault. once you are able to be independent you can discuss it with a doctor and get a proper diagnosis.
if you are saying you had it without a diagnosis that would be y t a but thinking you mig... | nta
in most cases, especially among adults, self diagnosing is the initial step towards an official diagnosis. it’s recognizing your symptoms, signs, and struggles and putting a name to them. if it helps you to conceive of yourself as adhd, that in no way invalidates people who have clinically diagnosed adhd.
i have ... | nta
so i “self diagnosed” with adhd when i was 15 and i was told by my family that i would have already been diagnosed if that had been the case. so i dropped it.
fast forward two years and a half and guess what a psychiatrist said? i am a textbook case and it was baffling to him that no one saw it.
adhd is one of t... | nta. you're right, not everyone can afford to go through the process of being professionally diagnosed and even when they can, there's a lot of bias amongst doctors (like underdiagnosing girls with autism, for example). it's not like you took one online quiz and went around saying you have it, you've been researching f... | nta i told people i thought i was bipolar. shit, when i finally got in to see a dr i told the dr 'heads up, i personally think i have bipolar '.
guess what? i am bipolar.
am i more bipolar now than i was at 14 and i dropped out of school due to depression and tried to kill myself for the first time? or maniacally s... | nta. getting diagnosed is expensive and inaccessible to a lot of people, not to mention the fact that the people doing the testing have their own biases as well. it's not a perfect system. i spent years fairly certain that i was autistic, but wasn't able to get it confirmed until finally getting a second evaluation at ... | even before i clicked this i knew it would be adhd. funny how people get mad about self-diagnosis of adhd and not, say, short-sightedness or diabetes. how on earth do people get diagnosed with anything if others expect them to keep silent on groups of symptoms? nta.
i am diagnosed, if that helps to give you 'p... | null | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | null | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: side note: my parents never brought me into therapy for multiple reasons the o... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
side note: my parents never brought me into therapy for multiple rea... |
AITA for closing my property? | before anything sorry for any mistake, english is not my first language. a little background story, my grandmother had a plot of land and 3 sons so she divided it in 3 pieces, one for each son. it also has a private road common for all. so my uncle has the bottom piece in which he made a farm but he doesn’t live in it,... | 340 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/udwvuc/aita_for_closing_my_property/ | 2022-04-28 14:55:45 | nta
it's your property.
if you don't want people turning around in your yard, or having livestock that's not your eating your grass, close it off.
now if you want to lease your property to your uncle to allow his goats to graze, that's something else. | nta in the slightest. they're annoying you, it's your land, and they're being entitled little shits. the hit your dog, fuck them | nta. they're not being respectful of your property at all. they're not keeping decent visiting hours, they're not watching for your animals, and they're not asking permission. they clearly don't appreciate what they have, and you have every right to turn them away. | nta
there’s a reason most people have fences around their property—too many people out there are rude and entitled and disrespectful. for years, there was a small wooded lot that belonged to us between our house and the neighbors. when they started throwing big rowdy parties on it, problem. once i was reading on a bl... | nta. “good fences make good neighbors” - robert frost. this is true even if the neighbors are family. | nta. you have a family and animals that need to be kept safe and it’s your property! if they don’t like it they can turn around in their own yards. | nta. it's your property and if they won't respect your wishes, then it leaves you with no other choice. | nta.
at all.
you've got some very entitled feeling relatives. what's next, them running over your child when they're old enough to play outside, and then denying it??
the property is yours to do with as you please. sux to be them! | null | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | null | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: before anything sorry for any mistake, english is not my first language. a lit... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
before anything sorry for any mistake, english is not my first langu... |
AITA for saying I’m not religious during a demonstration? | this is an old story, about 1 week old. ( | 2,698 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/n86bkc/aita_for_saying_im_not_religious_during_a/ | 2021-05-09 04:21:06 | nta, he embarrassed himself not you. how can you know what someone is or isn’t when you don’t know the person and insist on it??
that’s one heck of a narcissistic behavior. ignore the fella and tell him you’ll report him to hr if he keeps making things difficult for you | definitely nta. i mean what he said doesn’t even makes sense, how can **you** have embarrassed him, when you were just saying that you are not religious!? | ah what a lovely demonstration of his implicit bias. he embarrassed himself, not you. nta.
i’m curious though.. do you work for a religious organization? and if not, what was the reason for being required to attend this lecture? because that can possibly be a problem. could people refuse to go? would there be negativ... | what? no, nta, who argues with someone about what their religion is. the guys an idiot. | nta. he’s the ass for assuming you’re a part of a certain religion and then proceeding to argue with you even *after* you told him that you were not. | nta!
i used to live in a very heavily religious town, and it was just always assumed that everyone there was automatically part of this religion. except i'm an atheist.
well, one day i was browsing at a little community 2nd hand thrift store when i found a kitchen table and chair set for cheap that i desperately need... | nta. you didn’t make him seem like he assumes someone’s religion, he literally does just assume someone’s religion. he exposed himself and you shouldn’t have to hide a part of who you are to satisfy his image. i’m proud of you for publicly acknowledging your beliefs even though it didn’t match up with everyone else. th... | nta he asked a question, you gave him an honest answer. | nta and i’m so sorry you were in that situation! if he literally told you “yes you are” religious, that is absurd! it seems like he’s trying to cover his ass so hard and turn it around and put the blame on you for what he said. also your employer should never force employees to attend a lecture on religion? the only in... | utah! (said sarcastically) it's what i yell when i'm driving and the light turns yellow but it's too late to stop. why? because people don't understand yellow lights here and at least two people will follow me through the intersection. it's my personal commentary (to myself) on the moral high ground mormons think they ... | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: this is an old story, about 1 week old. ( | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
this is an old story, about 1 week old. ( [/INST] nta, he embarrasse... |
AITA for not letting my best friend console his girlfriend and taking her away from him? | this one is kinda of tricky. my (29m) best friend ‘aaron’ (27m) started dating this girl ‘samantha’ (22f) over 6 months ago. from what aaron tells me and what i see their relationship is perfect. when they are together they are extremely affectionate, and you can see how much they love each other by the way they look a... | 307 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/kzj57h/aita_for_not_letting_my_best_friend_console_his/ | 2021-01-18 00:42:57 | nta your friend was an absolute idiot in that moment and pushed her boundaries, and you were looking out for her | nta-no means no! no matter what it is being said for. aaron needs to grow up. his behavior was borderline abusive. what else is he going to ignore when his girlfriend tells him no? | honestly nta.
it was a life or death situation and you reacted quickly and intelligently. it may have helped her to keep a little distance from your friend to calm down, especially since it sounds like they got past it relatively fast. i can only imagine how she felt being pushed in with such a fear - again big kudos ... | nta. you feel like one because you are a good person, but you aren’t an asshole. you did what you thought was right in the moment. | nta.
her boyfriend almost killed her. you were giving her time to process that. she deserved that space. she may have not wanted to be anywhere near him after he did that. when my dog latched onto me in the lake when we were swimming far out, because he got tired, i almost drowned. no one was on the beach and my dad wa... | does samantha think you're an ah? her boyfriend sure was. i don't think you are tah here. | if she forgave him and nothing of your “behaviour” has been brought up, there is no conflict | nta and if aaron doesn't want someone stepping in to save his gf, he shouldn't accidentally almost kill her. there's no perfect way to handle a situation with a traumatized person who almost drowned. sounds like your first responder instincts kicked in well | nta
you saved her, and then did what you thought was best. it was a very intense and emotional situation. i’m the end, they were able to reconcile, so no harm done. plus, there are occasioned where you might have to step in some toes. luckily aaron wasn’t trying to hurt her, but if he had been, you would have had to br... | info - did samantha want to talk to aaron. that's the only important fact. if she wanted to but you kept him away then you are an ah. if she said she didn't want to talk to him and he tried to force his way in to get to her anyway then he's the ah.
fyi - if anyone says they can't swim and someone pushes them into t... | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | null | NTA | NTA | INFO | 0.005167 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: this one is kinda of tricky. my (29m) best friend ‘aaron’ (27m) started dating... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
this one is kinda of tricky. my (29m) best friend ‘aaron’ (27m) star... |
AITA for babying my sister | i’m (32f) my baby sister’s (14) legal guardian and have been for 4 years. my sister has autism, adhd, dyslexia, dysgraphia, dyscalculia, anxiety, and a list of other physical and mental disorders and is mentally an 8 year old.
when i became my sister’s guardian she didn’t know how to read and could only count to 20. ... | 519 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/nk6m2t/aita_for_babying_my_sister/ | 2021-05-24 19:50:23 | nta. the ah in this instance is your aunt. keep doing what you're doing because it's obviously working. | nta im a 19 year old with autism, adhd, and anxiety and honestly would love if someone took me out for ice cream at the end of the week. if your sister enjoys it then there’s no harm. i think this behavior of “oh that’s childish you can’t do that” is kinda toxic like go out and color in a coloring book and have stuffed... | nta - you are not babying your sister, you are positively reinforcing her work and the improvements she is making.
you are actively helping her to progress.
your aunt needs to take several seats and learn about the disabilities your sister has and how they affect her development.
i have dyspraxia and i wish i had ha... | nta.
your sister is mentally not at where other kids her age are. she cannot magically change that. because of that, she’s going to have to be treated like she’s mentally the age she is, now 8 years old, because that’s all the capacity she has to understand. the fact that her aunt thinks that she needs to just “grow u... | nta. as a person with dyslexia and knowing ppl with other disabilities. you are doing your best for her. your aunt is a massive ah. she clearly doesn’t know how disabilities work. you are good sister and a good person. i suggest you cut contact with that aunt she’s toxic | nta. it is clear that under your care, your little sister is making good progress. if that progress involves stuffies and ice cream, good for you for finding a way to motivate her.
unless your aunt thinks she can do a better job?
it sounds like your sister is happy and healthy and making progress in school. you shou... | nta, but your aunt sure is.
obviously your aunt does not understand mental illness, it is best to cut this person off as nothing they have to say will help improve your life or your sister's life. you do you op, you are an amazing sister. | nta - my dad is autistic (not that everyone is the same, but i can relate on some level) and he needs this kind of routine. sure, my dad can be a bit "immature" by other people's standards (i like to call it child-like wonder and curiosity) at times, but it makes him happy and keeps him functioning. my dad watches a di... | nta at all, but i would caution to be careful about referring to your sister as 'an eight year old', even to yourself. that's not to downplay her mental disabilities or her interests which align more with most 8 year olds, just to remind you that she is not literally eight. she's a teenager with disabilities, and in a ... | nta - come on... you're an awesome sister, and she proves it to you by looking forward to your weekly tradition.
plus, i don't see this as "babying". adults that are close together do that kind of stuff too. maybe it is her aunt that has a problem with the whole "babying" situation, because all i can see is two sister... | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i’m (32f) my baby sister’s (14) legal guardian and have been for 4 years. my s... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i’m (32f) my baby sister’s (14) legal guardian and have been for 4 y... |
AITA For telling my SIL that my son telling hers santa isn't real isn't that big of a deal? | we don't pretend santa is a real person - you know, celebrate saint nick, but thats it. christmas is still very magical for us all lol. now, my husbands sister is very santa oriented. incredibly so. he's the magical being.
now, our nephew has finally reached the stage in school where other kids are telling him santa i... | 175 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zsnuhr/aita_for_telling_my_sil_that_my_son_telling_hers/ | 2022-12-22 14:51:24 | nta- the cat was already out of the bag from the kid's schoolmates. as sad as she is for her son, it's completely unreasonable to try and change what's already happened with a lie. | info: age matters here. can’t make a judgement without knowing hold old the kid who found out santa isn’t real is. | santa isn’t fake. mythology is an idea. santa is an idea of love and kindness and generosity. an idea that reminds us of how magical love is. those things are intangible but they are real.
i grew up in a religion without christmas. my parents told us the truth but said everyone who knows the truth has a responsibilit... | nta
what is wrong with your sil? listen, the santa myth is fine. it's for very young children, and mom can explain it's not a lie. it's a myth tradition meant to bring joy and wonder to christmas. santa is real in our hearts...yadda yadda.
but why is she making a huge deal out of him finding out?! kids tell other ki... | how old is the kid? either way definitely don’t have your kid say he lied. they’ll just make it worse if they do. nta | nta
6 is young, but kudos to both kids for having that honest friendship where they can support each other with life questions.
your son did no wrong. if he was going round telling other kids, yes that’s an issue but he was approached. | nta. your son was just being honest with his cousin who he cares about after boys from school had already shattered the illusion. i understand sister-in-law is upset but asking a family member to backtrack and lie to her son purposely is not the answer in my opinion. this is why i've always felt in my parenting that sa... | nta
it'd be different if you told him, but as you said, kids talk, and they have older siblings, so it always comes out at school, it really just depends on the age really. | nta kid heard it from school first and not your kid. my mum is like your sil and is obsessed with the idea of santa. i’m autistic as well and i was 12 when my mum finally told me and was devastated because i had been getting bullied for years and i just couldn’t fathom being lied to for so long especially when it was a... | nta. all kids that grew up believing these lies (because that's what it is) reach that point in their lives. she's just blaming you for something unavoidable. | NTA | INFO | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0.003 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: we don't pretend santa is a real person - you know, celebrate saint nick, but ... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
we don't pretend santa is a real person - you know, celebrate saint ... |
AITA for not letting a stranger into an apartment complex? | **the main issue:** okay. i was coming out of a luxury apartment complex in downtown san francisco. i had just used the call box myself successfully about 5 minutes ago to get in. as i'm leaving, a girl was trying to get in. she asked me to let her in, and i asked if she lived there. she said she was returning a key to... | 190 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/rxri18/aita_for_not_letting_a_stranger_into_an_apartment/ | 2022-01-06 22:58:34 | nta
the call boxes are there for the safety and security of the residents.
you did the right thing by not letting her in.
hugs | been there, done that to someone who was also pissed. nta
it's a safety issue. the people who live there thank you.
also...returning a key to her ex? then why doesn't she have the key or code to get in? her ex probably thanks you too | nta. she could have been a stalker. | nta. for all you know this was a stalking scenario. security's there for a reason, and good on you for using it. | nta. never let anyone in, even if they say they live there. if they are supposed to be there, they will get in without your help. | nta- piggy backing is a security no no. with some secure areas even if you know the other party you aren't supposed to let them piggy back. you should definitely never let a stranger piggy back. | nta.
you made the right decision even if she felt inconvenienced. especially because she admitted she's an ex and you never know someone's intentions. chances are if she has a key, she would be able to get in. and if she had planned this exchange, someone would likely be answering the callbox. either way, not your pro... | nta... literally not your problem. | null | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | null | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: **the main issue:** okay. i was coming out of a luxury apartment complex in do... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
**the main issue:** okay. i was coming out of a luxury apartment com... |
AITA for ordering jalapeños on my pizza intentionally to stop my wife eating it? | first up, i love my wife very very very much but damn does she drive crazy sometimes. i’m a big dude, i’m 6’4 and i’m always goddamned hungry. i’m a firefighter so i’m always on my feet and simply put, i just love foooooood. my wife always eats stuff like salads and nuts but she will always help herself to some of my f... | 21,156 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/c2ib5a/aita_for_ordering_jalapeños_on_my_pizza/ | 2019-06-19 15:15:02 | nta - but you are a bit silly to have admitted why you got it spicy. why not just say you’ve taken a notion for spicy food lately? better yet, when you order food and ask her if she wants some - remind her that you will be ordering spicy for yourself. that way, if she really wants something, she will get her own order. | nta - if she's saying no to food and then eating it anyway, she is in the wrong. | nta, bordering on esh, but mostly because you took the step of asking her ahead of time if she wanted some. she made her bed here. i'd emphasize the asking part next time, rather than the drastic measures comment.
as an aside, though - this really seems like a more serious issue than just about food. you both have som... | nta - first of all, this is hilarious. you should look into a career in writing. but ultimately you've asked your wife not to eat your food, she explicitly says she doesn't want it, and then she takes your food. it's a classic dilemma, yes, but she's the asshole. this is a creative solution to that problem. if she want... | nta - my wife never wants fries, except whenever i have fries then she wants all the god damn fries. | nta.
ya'll just seem adorable! i do the exact same thing! this post really triggered me to think about it. until now i've never given it a moment's thought.
when i first started reading this i had a moment of panic because i do the exact same thing your wife does to my husband and it made me wonder i was aggrava... | til joey quit acting, got married and became a firefighter. | nta: the fact that your wife said no to pizza and then get upset that she can't eat it just makes me think 'what the fuck'. | joey doesnt share food | nta.
completely understandable if a suicidal thing to do.
interesting that it was you mil that the you the idea. if her mother gave you the idea, it suggests that she had been doing this for ages and it used to infuriate her mother too??? | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | NTA | null | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: first up, i love my wife very very very much but damn does she drive crazy som... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
first up, i love my wife very very very much but damn does she drive... |
AITA for putting my son in his room so I could lay down for half an hour | so, i (35f) put my son (2.5) into his room this morning because he sleeps with me at night but was up from 6am today. i haven't been feeling well with bad sinuses, just started my period and was up half the night with a nose bleed. my son however was wide awake because his father (43m) gave him melatonin yesterday for ... | 504 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/txn6u2/aita_for_putting_my_son_in_his_room_so_i_could/ | 2022-04-06 14:16:39 | nta. but why is he still in your house if you're not together? sounds like he's adding stress to your situation and can't really deal with your son at all on his own so is there any point for him to be here at all? | nta and wtf is going on in your household? you’re entitled to 30 minutes alone. | so your child’s father stays in your house in his own room and works for you? sounds like your a single mom of two boys | nta - all parents need time for themselves once in a while, and your son will be fine playing in his room.
if you don't mind me saying though, maybe you need to consider not letting your ex live with you and barge in to your room any time he wants to. i think the bigger problem here is setting boundaries. | who the fuck does your ex think he is exactly? you’re his boss, he lives in your house, and he’s trying to manipulate and control your behavior? hell no. you did nothing wrong. if anything, he caused part of the issue by giving your son melatonin. was that something you were aware of and agreed to let happen? he wants ... | esh.
if ya'll going to continue this (i get anxiety just reading it) situation where you're not together, but still live under the same roof... you needed to get your fucking communication in order before making that genius decision.
make no mistake, you're allowed a break, i'm sure your son is perfectly content for ... | esh. your ex being your employee who lives with you is a weird, unsustainable situation. | nta. time for baby daddy to find his own place and start paying child support. | nta. i'd be enraged by his behavior. | your son sounds like a ball you both play throw and catch | NTA | NTA | null | NTA | NTA | ESH | ESH | NTA | NTA | null | 0.091339 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: so, i (35f) put my son (2.5) into his room this morning because he sleeps with... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
so, i (35f) put my son (2.5) into his room this morning because he s... |
AITA for asking my uncle to move out of my house? | 18 months ago, my uncle was injured. he had surgery and they removed half his foot. it’s been a long recovery but finally it’s healed and they are talking about prosthetics.
when he was injured, i found out he was basically homeless and invited him to live with my family during his recovery. we have a 2 bedroom tow... | 242 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/kyaxbh/aita_for_asking_my_uncle_to_move_out_of_my_house/ | 2021-01-16 03:26:02 | nta, your uncle has taken advantage of your hospitality for long enough. hand him a copy of rental listings and tell him the silent treatment isn’t going to work, you will take his dogs to the pound if they threaten your child’s safety and it is not your fault he got a car with a high payment and that you refuse to be ... | nta
you didn't plan on him living with you for the long haul. it was a short term assistance in your mind.
plus, having a dog that snapped at your child and a dog that can't reliably go out? dead stop there. not having it. particularly around the kid.
definitely nta | that's a big fat nta.
it sounds like even after you became fed up, you've still remained polite and have provided him time to leave on his terms.
idk why he thinks that it's appropriate to sulk like a little kid instead of being grateful that you've given him this much time. | nta. it sounds like you put up with quite a lot from your uncle. and you were very accommodating of his two dogs.
you mistake was not laying out the temporary housing situation plan up front. | nta
unless your uncle's behavior is driven by a mental illness, there's no justification for his behavior.
i assume that he's not been contributing financially. he has likely become accustomed to his free ride, and is angry at the fact that it's ending.
no part of this is your problem. it was kind of you to take him... | nta, have you other family that could assist here? certainly you shouldn't be paying for someone to live with you who won't acknowledge your existence. | > one of them snapped at my 3 year old
nta. that's as far as i needed to read to decide, although i did read the whole thing. you do what you need to do to keep your kids safe.
> do i owe him an apology?
absolutely not. you've done a great thing helping him out, and unfortunately he's repaying you by being ... | null | null | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | null | null | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: 18 months ago, my uncle was injured. he had surgery and they removed half his ... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
18 months ago, my uncle was injured. he had surgery and they removed... |
AITA for telling my 4y/o Sister I don't care her dad died? | okay, so i have a four year old (half) sister and three year (half) old brother. about three years ago, i moved in with my mother because my dad had lost his house due to a divorce.
not long after i moved with my mother, we had been homeless, due to my step dad's drug problem. we had been homeless for five months, m... | 274 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/baz392/aita_for_telling_my_4yo_sister_i_dont_care_her/ | 2019-04-08 21:00:19 | yta.
she’s four.
jesus. | yta. the kid is 4 years old. even if she was using that as a ploy to get out of doing stuff (which i doubt), you could’ve handled that way better. take away an item before she cleans her room, help her clean it up etc. she’s a child and you just told her you don’t care her dad died. you’re a complete asshole. | yta. you're right to be angry. you're justified to hate the person. the trauma you can cause a four year old by doing that can extend in ways you cannot yet understand. if your sister is more important to you than yourself, at least consider that, and focus on being there for her, rather than scarring her for life. ser... | "a four year old child misses their recently deceased father and i told them that i don't care, aita?"
&#x200b;
yta.
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god damn. | op - i saw your edit. try /r/relationships, there are others too. it sounds like an unhealthy situation to everyone. you should be seeking resources to help you/your siblings if you are living in a neglectful situation. that is not your fault, and i can empathize for you. as someone who grew up in a horribly abusive si... | hey, kid, after forty someodd comments, i think maybe it's time someone said something nice to you. nobody's perfect. you're just doing your best. just try to have some patience with the kid; i understand that you're trying to raise her right and letting her get her way all the time because her dad died isn't good f... | yta and i didn't even have to read your post to know this. | begrudgingly nta
while i want to say outright you're ta since i couldn't imagine any scenario that this title would not be that, i don't think it's healthy for your sister to use that as an excuse and your mother to repeatedly accept it, especially four months out from his death. you probably shouldn't be the person t... | nta that man was a waste of sperm | esh
the title is far worse than your explanation of it though. a 4 year old cannot understand the social dynamic and issues. she just knows her father is gone.
your mother isn't helping this and reinforcing bad coping mechanisms. going to "i dont care he's dead" isn't a good way to help your sisters be less bratty. h... | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | null | null | YTA | NTA | NTA | ESH | 0.267517 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: okay, so i have a four year old (half) sister and three year (half) old brothe... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
okay, so i have a four year old (half) sister and three year (half) ... |
AITA For shouting at my brother and his kids (age 8 and 14)? | to tell you the truth, i dread them coming over because they terrorize my brother (9) and dog. not in obvious ways, but they'll all be on a game and then the two of the them team up against him, not sharing my brothers own toys, getting my brother in trouble by getting him to shout words he shouldn't, like "nigger" and... | 654 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/bau92r/aita_for_shouting_at_my_brother_and_his_kids_age/ | 2019-04-08 14:09:24 | nta. shit kids and shit parenting | nta.
if your brother can't be fucked to basically parent his kids not to be little shits toward other living beings, then you have every right to kick them out. | nta your brother is being incredibly irresponsible as a parent and raising monster children. you're totally right to protect your dog and the 9 yo. | nta if anything you're preventing a huge disaster when your dog finally has had enough and bites one of them. also, your little brother is clearly being picked on in his own home, a place where he should feel safe. | [deleted] | nta. the brother is a piece of shit for not raising his children, and the kids are old enough to know better. you did the right thing by protecting the 9 yo and your dog. your home, your rules. i wouldn't even try to patch things up with the older brother or invite them over again. let them improve their shitshow and a... | [deleted] | nta. | nta. fuck that. you’re gonna end up putting your dog down for their jackassery. they need to stay out of your house period. | nta. better to be shouted at than to get your face bitten off by a huge dog. if i were you i'd stick to what you said and not let them back over. your poor dog could end up paying the price and being euthanized if he bites. | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | NTA | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: to tell you the truth, i dread them coming over because they terrorize my brot... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
to tell you the truth, i dread them coming over because they terrori... |
AITA for refusing to host my son's wedding? | my ex and i have four boys. married at 21. our youngest was the surprise baby and is five years younger than the next youngest kid. he has always tried to compete with his older brothers who excelled in sports and school, but couldn't because he was smaller and had a learning disability so he has a bit of an inferior c... | 2,225 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/elbslx/aita_for_refusing_to_host_my_sons_wedding/ | 2020-01-07 13:49:52 | yta... dude. if you don’t wanna host the wedding, fine. but this entire post kinda just... sh*ts on him. maybe it’s possible that he “turned out this way” on some sort of self-fulfilling prophecy. as a young adult, i can tell you it’s really hard to succeed when it feels like your family doesn’t believe in you. | yta.
holy shit. you're a terrible parent.
> his "art"
dismissive af
> convinced them to kick him out. he lived in a van
you intentionally tried to make your son, who you admit has a learning disability, *homeless* at effing 19??! what the actual shit is wrong with you?
> we helped him get a minimum wa... | yta, and so are your other kids.
the attitude you've displayed here... no wonder the kid turned out a train wreck. unstable family life, a father who blatantly considers him to be inferior and who won't spare a few hours of their time to help their son with their wedding? | yta - i cant imagine ever talking about my son the way you’re talking about yours. it just seems like you don’t even like him. he is an adult. he is your child. he’s getting married. support it, host it, love him. stop being an ass. | nta.
it’s incredibly hard to watch someone you love making huge mistakes and it’s really tempting to cave in to loved ones demands but if you’re sure this is a disaster waiting to happen it’s not the loving thing to do to support it, especially considering your sons age.
however you have to accept that this will dam... | i understand that you might think their marriage is a bad idea and it does sound it slightly to me, and you’re obviously under no obligation to host anyone. however what’s swaying me a bit is i agree with your ex that he has to make his own mistakes, and i’m also quite put off by the tone throughout this post which fra... | info: are you okay with not having your youngest son be in your life? because, this might be the result of that.
> she thinks we should just let him crash on their own so he doesn't blame anyone but himself.
she's not wrong. | yta. you said your son was a mistake baby, and apparently you've always treated him as such. | nta, but reddit will shit on you because you are wealthy and successful, and have some successful children and one failure. everyone calling you ta is along the same vein of “he’s your child of course you should support his downward spiral”. that’s not true. you push your kid to be the best me can be, and if he fails, ... | nta. he needs to get his life together. don't encourage such behavior. he is not ready to start a family. | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | NTA | null | INFO | YTA | NTA | NTA | 0.554272 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: my ex and i have four boys. married at 21. our youngest was the surprise baby ... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
my ex and i have four boys. married at 21. our youngest was the surp... |
AITA for asking my stepson to buy his own dog food? | **tl;dr:** my stepson asked for a dog and one of the conditions was he pay for its care. when it’s our week with the kids the dog comes along too, of course, and it eats my dog’s food which is never replaced or reimbursed. aita for putting my foot down and asking he pony up?
my husband (m43) and i (f33) share custody ... | 161 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/loh07c/aita_for_asking_my_stepson_to_buy_his_own_dog_food/ | 2021-02-20 21:19:56 | nta - but the problem is with your husband not stepson. i would put my foot down with him and deal with him. making a 16 year older buy their own dog food is weird. | esh
it was **wildly irresponsible** to allow a teenager to get a dog with the stipulation that the adults will be hands-off when it comes to its care.
a child doesn't have those resources. what if there are emergencies? ongoing medications? this is mean to everyone involved, the dog included. | a gentle, esh
i think you should have a follow up conversation with your husband. you don’t want to single out older step kid, but you are noting that the dog food is being eaten by both dogs in the household. as a result, you’re not asking permission — you’re informing him you will be buying the dog food using the mu... | nta it’s either the family dog and the money comes out of the family grocery money or it’s the sons dog and he pays for everything. and what’s this about switching foods because he doesn’t want to pay for food you get? that’s a good way to get a dog sick. | nta
hubby doesn't want to pay for your dog. hubby doesn't want to pay for his son's dog. so its hubby's job as bio-dad to sit his son down and tell him that either his dog only eats the lower budget food hubby is willing to buy, or his son can pay for food to be stored at both his parents houses. doesn't dog food come... | nta. your suggestion to use the mutual grocery fund to feed the pets of multiple family members is the obvious answer. does your husband not like dogs?
maybe you could present 4 options:
1. the food is purchased with the mutual fund.
2. your husband splits the cost with you out of his fun money.
3. your stepson b... | nta. the money to feed his dog needs to come out of either the stepson’s funds or the family grocery budget. but as someone else said, feed your dog in a different location. time to stop leaving food out for grazing. train your dog to eat somewhere separately and when your dog walks away, pick the food up. stepson agr... | null | null | null | NTA | ESH | ESH | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | null | null | 0.124463 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: **tl;dr:** my stepson asked for a dog and one of the conditions was he pay for... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
**tl;dr:** my stepson asked for a dog and one of the conditions was ... |
AITA For kicking my brother in law out and reporting my therapist? | let me explain. even though i don't like to talk about it. i (male) 25 was involved in an auto accident (i was the one driving) and lost my dad who was with me at the time. i had untreated ptsd for nearly a year. i couldn't speak about it to anyone. my sister got me in therapy 2 months ago because she said that i neede... | 22,243 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/kk90d7/aita_for_kicking_my_brother_in_law_out_and/ | 2020-12-26 00:25:07 | nta
your therapist definitely should be reported and hopefully lose their license. therapists should never be sharing their clients' names, much less going into detail about what the clients are sharing with them.
the people who 'ruined' dinner are the people who 'decided to spend time with you' and then did not sto... | nta - i’m sorry this happened to you. you’re not the ass at all.
your therapist violated your confidentiality and that’s a very serious thing. report them and let them suffer the consequences. focus on your betterment and it doesn’t matter what others say. you didn’t ruin christmas.
i really hope you’re able to fin... | nta
report the therapist and cut ties with your bil if that means sister goes to that's her fault for siding with bil. | nta - hipaa laws exist for a reason. your therapist is an idiot and your bil is a terrible person. how can you pry into someone's personal pain and then weaponize it in front of others.
honestly i can't fathom your pain op - i hope you find a way to cope for this situation is totally unfair to you. | nta.
report him and contact an attorney. you may not want to sue him but not only do you need the money back from the therapy that you paid for but he should be paying for the extra therapy you're now going to need because he has violated a ton of oaths. | nta.
follow through on reporting him. i know your trust was betrayed but please find another therapist. don't let this despicable excuse for a therapist keep you from getting help. maybe a referral from your primary care doctor?
what about your sister, she got you into therapy - did she choose the therapist? seem... | as a mental health professional myself yeah, you're within your rights to report.i legally cannot confirm or deny if someone is my client without written consent from them, it breaks hippa. we're trained on this, the therapist should know better.it honestly makes me mad, because this is why people avoid therapy. i'm gu... | nta
there are laws to avoid exactly this.
report the therapist and said to bil that the therapist will lose the job because of him.
you don't tell people what others said in a therapeutic season. | you are the only one in this story who's nta. therapists are legally bound to confidentiality. they're not supposed to go gossiping about the stuff their clients tell them. your bil has zero social skills if he thinks this is appropriate christmas dinner talk, even if you'd told him these things yourself. and the rest ... | nta but wow is tour therapist / bil ah.
i’m really sorry you had to go through this. please try and find another therapist because the right one can work wonders and really help when you’re grieving. | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: let me explain. even though i don't like to talk about it. i (male) 25 was inv... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
let me explain. even though i don't like to talk about it. i (male) ... |
AITA for laughing at my son’s teacher and not punishing him for what he said? | so my son (13) absolutely idolizes his father.
my husband owns a company and since he was 5 i’d bring my son to visit his dad at the office.
as he got older sometimes he’d sit in on meetings and his dad would tell him to take notes and summarize what everybody in the room said and what he thinks the team should do.
... | 462 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/j4mgxl/aita_for_laughing_at_my_sons_teacher_and_not/ | 2020-10-03 20:48:07 | yta, this seems fake, either way your son is still a jerk, and it’s your fault too | yta - for letting your son know you thought it was comical for him to blatantly disrespect an adult, and an authority figure at that. you’re encouraging him. | it sounds like, from what the teacher said, your kid was criticizing his teammate, hence the “if you think x isn’t doing it correctly why don’t you do it” comment. in this situation, he’s the one who needs to grow up.
congratulations! you’re raising a rude and entitled kid who will get a harsh reality check when he e... | your son belittled an adult woman for having a job as a teacher, a job which is incredibly difficult. are you kidding? your kid was mean! and you don’t care if you raise a mean kid who thinks he’s better than other people? especially a teacher? yta. teach your kid to be kind to people. jesus christ, you’re raising a ka... | yta. this isn't "oh look at this little kid saying something grownup", it's a 13 year old brat who said something that would not be appropriate in a work or school setting. if that's the kind of thing your husband is teaching, your husband is a shitty boss and you are raising a shitty kid. but i guess you fit right in ... | yta youre teaching your son its okay to be disrespectful. the teacher didn't say anything that warrented your sons comment | yta - your son was rude to tell his teacher to grow up. and, what he told her may have been factual, but his tone was disrespectful. this is his teacher. so, yes, if you are not at least telling your son to have respect for his teacher, yta. | corrected title:
“my son was rude and disrespectful to his teacher, and we laughed and didn’t punish him because we think it’s appropriate to treat a learning environment like an aggressive board room. aita?”
yes. yta. | yta -- you and your kid both need lessons in respecting other people. | yta. your kid is rude, you're rude, and you owe that teacher an apology.
your kid is going to grow up wrong like this. | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: so my son (13) absolutely idolizes his father. my husband owns a company and s... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
so my son (13) absolutely idolizes his father. my husband owns a com... |
AITA for telling my younger brother I am not his dad? | aita:
i (24m) grew up in a less than ideal household, my mom and dad constantly fought and when i was 10, they got divorced and my mom remarried someone else when i was 15 and had my younger brother (9m) in 2013 and i love him till the end of time.
however my mom and my step-father didn't really get along either, ... | 193 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/w2dp2k/aita_for_telling_my_younger_brother_i_am_not_his/ | 2022-07-18 23:36:05 | yta
you're not an ah for not being able to take responsibility for your brother, however you are for how you handled it.
there was no need for your loss off temper in that moment and telling him to wait 9 years was pointless bordering on ridiculous, that is such a long time for anyone to wait let alone a kid. | sorry, yta. the kid is 9 and distressed, neither his dad or mom seem able to provide the support he needs and you seem to be a key source of sanity in his life. it does not mean you have an obligation to be his dad, but telling it this way is just super cold, and makes you the ah. | i'm reading, and reading, not the asshole, not the asshole, and then oop ... there it is. yta
why are you yelling at a little kid who's in obvious emotional distress? | yta. you've been the one stable adult in his life and now you essentially slapped him down (figuratively) and told him you don't actually care about him and he was on his own. i get that you can't afford to support him, and you have to focus on college, but you could have said these things while also assuring him that ... | yta (kinda). your mom and step-dad are the real ahs for being terrible parents.
he doesn't have anyone else to turn to and 9 year olds don't exactly have any grasp on the value of money and what it means to take in another person, taking care of them socially and financially. so of course you have every right to say n... | yta the kid is 9 and scared of his parents yelling, so what is your solution?? yell at him. poor kid | esh (except your brother)
you for yelling, you’re not his dad but you’re his safe space. you could have communicated that you don’t have the capacity to take him now but you are always a call away when it gets scary and to give him some comfort in that moment of vulnerability.
your mom and step dad are obviously ahs f... | yta there were so many options other than yelling in his face. he's nine, and you are his one safe adult. be patient and be kind. tell him he can text you, and that you'll visit on weekends, or that he can sleep over at your place sometimes, idk, but don't yell at a kid who feels alone already. | nta
i don’t know why this sub is so judgmental when a stressed out person loses their patience once in a while. your not an ah; you’re human. this scenario must be very stressful for you and probably brings back bad memories of your own childhood. plus they ruined your party. just try to stay calm and do better with y... | whelp, you shattered his illusion that there was one person in his family that wouldn't yell and scare him. good flipping job.
yta. | YTA | YTA | NTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | ESH | YTA | NTA | YTA | 0.15977 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: aita: i (24m) grew up in a less than ideal household, my mom and dad constantl... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
aita: i (24m) grew up in a less than ideal household, my mom and dad... |
WIBTA if I refuse to add my stepdaughter as a recipient to a trust fund which I and my late wife set up for my daughter? | daughter and sd are 14&15 respectively. wife and i have been married for 10 years.
so my late wife( she died fighting cancer )and i invested our money and decided to set up something like a trust fund for our daughter. most of what my late wife inherited from her parents also went to this fund. all of this money ... | 9,527 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/c23rod/wibta_if_i_refuse_to_add_my_stepdaughter_as_a/ | 2019-06-18 15:40:17 | nta. your late wife intended that money for her child. don’t take that away from your daughter. | nta- **your wife** and **her ex-husband** need to set up something for her daughter. | nta
but start saving with your wife for your second daughter. let her know that her savings only begun when she became a part of the family, so its understandably smaller. | nta. i’d offer to help start a separate trust for your step daughter, but don’t take out of your bio daughters as it was mainly from her bio moms inheritance. | nta, in fact, you would be the asshole if you added your stepdaughter:
>so my late wife( she died fighting cancer )and i invested our money and decided to set up something like a trust fund for our daughter. **most of what my late wife inherited from her parents also went to this fund**. *all of this money is suppo... | if i read this correctly, your sd has two living biological parents, correct? so why do they expect a dead woman to provide for *their* child? nta. that money is for your daughter. your sd is not entitled to her inheritance. that money has nothing to do with your sd or even your wife tbh. | nta your wife and stepdaughter are not entitled to that money | nta. your stepchild isn’t entitled to inherit money from your late wife. maybe you and your current wife/her ex could start some kind of savings for your stepchild. but nah, you don’t owe her your late wife’s money that she wanted to go to her daughter. | my mother left money for me. she died when i was seven years old. my dad tried to change it later to include my half-siblings - i took him to court over it. honestly nta for refusing.
you massively massively would be if you did do it though. | nta
but that doesn't mean that your wife isn't going to feel resentful and jealous. you need to sit her down and tell her that you are more than willing to raise and love and support your step daughter. after all, you've been playing somewhat of a father figure to her for a decade now.
but that doesn't change th... | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: daughter and sd are 14&15 respectively. wife and i have been married for 1... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
daughter and sd are 14&15 respectively. wife and i have been mar... |
AITA for not inviting my parents to my graduation? | my brother is 3 years older than me and my sister is 8 years younger than me. ( | 3,226 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hbz1i4/aita_for_not_inviting_my_parents_to_my_graduation/ | 2020-06-19 11:29:26 | nta. there isn’t much else to say. your mother is insane if she thinks the way she treated you entitled her to the place if ‘proud mother’. | nta. your mom sucks.
i understand that unexpected circumstances result in not having enough money for both you and your brother, but asking you to drop out isn't a solution. | nta at all. they didn’t show you support when you were undergoing the degree so they don’t deserve to share in your joy at completing it. and 8 years later is an insane amount of time to drag up something like this and try and make it an issue. | nta, but i wouldn’t have lied about graduating. clearly there’s some favoritism going on here if they’re choosing to fund your brother’s indefinite college career and encouraged you to drop out. i would’ve just told them that since they asked me to drop out, it was clear they did not value my education. | after you took charge of your own future, you owed your family nothing especially if they abused you growing up. congrats op on your achievements. you should be proud of yourself. if you've distanced yourself from them, i'd say that they are trying to get back into your goid books because you seem to be the only sucess... | nta, and they are lucky that you are still taking their phone calls. | nta. you winning, you’re the only one with a degree, going to get the money best out of your life and you did the right thing. as far as your parents are concerned you dropped out of university, let it stay that you. live your best life!!! | nta - you don't owe them anything. they are ah parents. | nta
your mom wanted to see you drop out, so why should she get the honor of seeing you walk the stage and graduate when you did all the hard work, and she actually would’ve preferred you to give up your own dreams???
(also, why bring it up nearly 10 years later?? i don’t mean to offend, but your mom got issues.) | nta
i know what if feels like to be treated as less than your siblings who are doing much worse than you in life. i spent a lot of years being resentful as i was always the hard worker and did well in school while my younger sibling was (and still is) basicly a major fuck up. my parents always put all their effort int... | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: my brother is 3 years older than me and my sister is 8 years younger than me. ... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
my brother is 3 years older than me and my sister is 8 years younger... |
AITA for calling my SIL 'dumb' after her weird 'loyalty test' failed and she got pregnant? | my (20f) brother (cam-25m) has been dating his girlfriend (jane-26f) for a year and a half.
cam works in a warehouse 1 hour 30 minutes away by train and so he's gone before jane wakes up and often comes home pretty late so him and jane don't get much bonding time. around 5 months ago, there was an issue with the train... | 4,214 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/vrhyhj/aita_for_calling_my_sil_dumb_after_her_weird/ | 2022-07-04 21:33:45 | nta - i don't think you're an asshole. i think you're correct. also, you're sticking up for your brother. however, you should have minded your own business. i bet your brother goes back to her. i wouldn't hate her. if she actually learns from this she may be a good wife and mother. but, you don't know what your brother... | nta. she played stupid games and won stupid prizes. she clearly talked to you looking for a "right" answer, and you're not obligated to indulge her bullshit.
sure you can be nicer, but if someone pulled that shit on my brother i would have zero sympathy for them too. depending on where you are in the world, what she ... | nta.
she did a horrible, reckless, downright evil thing and should not ask anyone about the prospects for forgiveness unless she's willing to hear "fuck no!"
she wants absolution, she should see a priest. | nta. what jane did was seriously wrong, messed up, and controlling. hypothetically, let’s say cam was cheating. that still wouldn’t make it okay to mess with the condoms so he’d get someone pregnant. jane is absolutely in the wrong here | she asked, you answered. you didn't create that mess.
nta
your brother's (ex?)girlfriend caused all of the problems that they are dealing with now because she didn't & doesn't trust your brother. we don't know what else happened between them, so we only have this small piece that sounds like she had no trust in ... | so she was ok with baby trapping your brother and the hypothetical woman but not herself 🙄🙄🙄 dear lord yisus i fell bad for the baby if it's born | nta. she asked. you answered honestly. | nta.
i mean... she asked for your opinion, right? you weren't tormenting her, you just told her what you would do in your brother's place. if she was expecting sympathy, she shouldn't have tried to get it from the sister of the guy she screwed over.
also, she can always abort if she doesn't want to be a single mother... | nta. she asked your opinion and you gave it. it’s really as simple as that. | nta even if she forgot she essentially stealthed him | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: my (20f) brother (cam-25m) has been dating his girlfriend (jane-26f) for a yea... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
my (20f) brother (cam-25m) has been dating his girlfriend (jane-26f)... |
AITA for yelling at my boyfriend to leave my house without a good reason after he refused. | i (18f) have been with my boyfriend (18m) for over 4 months and we are both recently 18 so still in school and neither of us can drive legally.
he stayed over one night where everything went fine, how ever in the morning he proceeded to sit on his phone watching youtube for a few hours. it was leaning towards 12pm whe... | 307 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/sc6onx/aita_for_yelling_at_my_boyfriend_to_leave_my/ | 2022-01-25 05:59:45 | nta
that boy has serious problems with boundaries. you don’t need to have a “good reason” for asking someone to leave your place. you want them to leave - that is enough. he stayed for *hours* after you asked him to leave - that is not okay!!! that is “get out now before i call the cops” territory. | nta but he sure is. he needs to respect boundaries you set, including when you tell him it’s time to go home. also, if he doesn’t like the lunch you make the first time, he should leave and make his own…at his own house. | girl this man doesn't respect your boundaries. *ditch the zero*. you had good reason, and he was being an ass, and he is throwing you several red flags. it's up to you to catch and deal with them.
nta. | nta
girl it's only been 4 months. usually people are showing you *the best* parts of themselves in the first year. drop this a-hole and find some new friends. | nta
i'm now 37. my hubby and i got together at 18, while still in high school. he has never, and would never act that way. to me, or anyone else. it's the easiest thing in the world to be around him, even 18 years later. we think alike, have similar values and lifestyles, the same friends, and are on the same page whe... | if this is genuine … you are clearly nta.
you did have a valid reason for wanting him to leave (study). and newsflash to him ‘not wanting you to stay all day’ is itself a valid reason.
sorry to say - lots of red flags in his behaviour. and again nta. | 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
you're nta. he's the asshole. if he can't respect you with something so simple he won't respect anything else more serious. | nta
get rid of him. he feels entitled to your space, time and labour. | nta
even in a relationship it is perfectly normal and reasonable to want some alone time.
you made your wish clear and he stomped your boundaries. | nta - he needs to respect your boundaries. however, it may be an issue that you don't feel comfortable saying "hey, love you but it's time to leave" without hinting at it a million times. that should be something you're able to say in a relationship but maybe it's bc it's only been 4 months. | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i (18f) have been with my boyfriend (18m) for over 4 months and we are both re... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i (18f) have been with my boyfriend (18m) for over 4 months and we a... |
AITA for deliberately waking up my bf? | so my bf (35)and i (31) have been together just over a year and live together. we have very different sleep schedules, i work early so i'm used to going to bed at 10pm latest. he likes to stay up and used to start work at 10am compared to my 8am start (i have to wake up at 6 to get there). due to everything going on at... | 448 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/g743rj/aita_for_deliberately_waking_up_my_bf/ | 2020-04-24 07:31:21 | nta
>thanks for purposely waking me up... now i'll only get three hours sleep today
i'm sure he'll manage to laze around fine on 3hrs of sleep. | nta. he was rude and inconsiderate af and i’m fairly certainly he’ll be okay for one day on little sleep doing...what sounds like nothing.
(though i do think yall should have a calm sit down where you go over the previously negotiated boundary [of sleeping in the other room after x time]. quarantine has made for some... | esh, he sucks for waking you up but you shouldn’t have been petty like that | esh he shouldn’t have woken you up but you shouldn’t have retaliated. what is that going to solve? everyone is just going to be even more angry. use your words. | esh - he was extremely foolish for being so damn inconsiderate. but you stooped to his level (maybe even worse). when you’re mad as hell like you were in the morning, maybe just avoid talking to him in general until you’ve calmed down enough to speak to him about why you’re angry at him. | nta - your health and livelihood are both important, especially right now. cohabitation is hard, but you guys laid down ground rules as far as your sleep schedule goes and it sounds like he agreed but then broke the agreement at 4am one day. now you're annoyed and sleep deprived because he was inconsiderate. | unpopular, but yta.
>i wake up at 5.30, still pissed off and clang around the kitchen a bit and then went into the bedroom to take my tablets and slammed the door.
how is that a fair punishment in response to:
>he comes in and starts making noise **moving the covers** and i just got so pissed off.
you're up... | tbh, i cant get over the fact that you work for the nhs and you arent showering right when you get home after work, especially with everything that's been going on....... with that said, esh. | nta: im the type to reply with something petty like yeah, sucks being woken up when you really need the rest. and then finish it off with the fact that peoples lives are in your hands and if i never need my health dealt with i would certainly also hope that nurse got that last hour of sleep it can be so crucial. good f... | nta. 3 mornings a week, i start at 530, which means getting up at 430. i have a policy that if you know this and send me a text after 9pm the previous night, you get a reply at 430 😃 | NTA | NTA | ESH | ESH | ESH | NTA | YTA | ESH | NTA | NTA | 0.519938 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: so my bf (35)and i (31) have been together just over a year and live together.... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
so my bf (35)and i (31) have been together just over a year and live... |
AITA for refusing to watch cousins for free at Easter dinner so adults can "have a break?" | i (16f) am the eldest cousin (parents had me young) all 6 of my cousin's are under 10 years old (5 year old male twins, 3 year old girl, 8 year old boy, 6 year old girl and 4 year old boy), the adults wanted me to keep the kids entertained the whole so they could socialize. i asked for money for babysitting and everyon... | 4,711 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ud8poz/aita_for_refusing_to_watch_cousins_for_free_at/ | 2022-04-27 17:16:36 | nta
> my mother said i was rude because the parents "deserved a break" and i should help because i'm family. but i really don't think it's my responsibility and i don't even like kids that much.
i would say that it’s a lot ruder to demand free labor from a guest at a gathering. six kids under 10 would be too many ... | "because it's family" is not an excuse for free babysitting.
tell them they can look for a sitter who will do it for free "because they deserve a break" and that if they can't you will be available for whatever amount/per hour.
nta | nta. you deserve a break as well and didn't choose to have the kids so...... | nta.
a simple "no thank you"
tell them "i am planning on enjoying easter dinner this year and are not interested in babysitting anyone's children without a prior agreement".
if they get all upset that you won't babysit for them, ask them who's idea it was to volunteer you without your permission.
then tell that per... | your family is sexist and this
>"when i have kids"
is very inappropriate to say to a child.
nta | nta.
the gender thing is 1000% valid. i’m also willing to bet you hear a lot about responsibility. well, if it’s your responsibility to study so you can get good grades— it’s their responsibility to hire a sitter so they can have a break. | nta that’s a lot of kids for a 16 year old to handle. they can certainly ask, but you made your decision and said no and they should respect that. | aren't folk generous when it comes to donating other people's labour? nta. | nta. “good practice for when you have kids”? garbage ideology. | nta. they don't "deserve" a break, thats not how having kids work. they're not your kids, so they're not your problem unless you agree to it and that can include requiring payment. their sense of entitlement is absolutely ridiculous, as is their decision to make it your problem because you're a girl. the sexism is real... | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i (16f) am the eldest cousin (parents had me young) all 6 of my cousin's are u... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i (16f) am the eldest cousin (parents had me young) all 6 of my cous... |
AITA for telling a stranger to not touch my baby | i have a sickly baby. he's four months old but is a late preemie as he was born at 35+6 weeks.
since his birth, he's been in and out of hospital & has had multiple health issues. he was born with jaundice and ended up having an exchange transfusion to help clean the red blood cells. while i was waiting for an appo... | 3,349 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/yuz5di/aita_for_telling_a_stranger_to_not_touch_my_baby/ | 2022-11-14 13:18:45 | nta. there is no reason a stranger ever needs to touch your baby. if they didn't listen the first time, raising your voice is not unreasonable. they are the one that was rude for not respecting your boundaries. | nta at all
i’m so sorry that someone made you feel uncomfortable in public.
i don’t know why this older generation feels so entitled, i’m currently pregnant and it’s the older generation who gets offended when i put mandatory “whooping cough” vaccines in place when visiting my baby.
“back in my day no one got sick... | gotta go with nta. i think your mama bear instincts kicked in. you were protecting your sick child. you said “no” and the stranger completely disregarded it, not once but several times! some people don’t have any respect for boundaries set by others. just because you *want* to touch someone does not mean you *get* to t... | nta you tried to tell this person calmly at first. you had to get loud when they ignored you the first time. even if your baby was perfectly healthy, the pandemic is more than enough reason to turn someone away. | nta. you stated your boundaries and they crossed them several times. we are still in a pandemic and touching a baby is not “harmless”. | nta. your baby is vulnerable and even if he wasn't....you don't touch people without consent, especially not after a global pandemic. tell your friend to go and eat grass. they are ta. it doesn't matter "that is how people here behave" ...where i come from, 2 kisses on the cheek is the standard when you meet someone y... | nta, you aren't required to let people touch your baby. it's weird that someone would want to touch a stranger's baby | you ask them politely not to, they did cross your boundary. your reasons for not wanting them to touch your child are sound but in this case dont matter. you said no and they did not respect that. old people are incredibly entitled with all this back in our generation bull shit. it is just an excuse. i would not even h... | nta- not even the asshole for shouting. you don’t touch people without permission and as it’s your baby and they can’t give permission it’s on you to protect their health and happiness.
considering how dirty some people are i find it insane that people are so blasé about touching babies. there’s no need. unless speci... | “it’s just how people are”
what a load of crap.
“no” is a complete sentence and they didn’t listen.
people are manky, babies are fragile at the best of times, you were absolutely nta. | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i have a sickly baby. he's four months old but is a late preemie as he was bor... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i have a sickly baby. he's four months old but is a late preemie as ... |
WIBTA for not giving my cousin my vintage American girl doll? | alrighty, so for those of you who don’t know, an american girl doll is an 18-inch doll that can vary in ethnicities, time periods or origin, faith, and social classes. for some reason, these dolls are very expensive; about $100 for a new one. this doesn’t include extra clothing and accessories which can be $30-$50 per ... | 850 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/fw0ymo/wibta_for_not_giving_my_cousin_my_vintage/ | 2020-04-06 15:42:41 | nta. it's yours, and you need to make ends meet. it's pretty shitty of them to try to guilt you into giving away your doll when selling it could really help you financially, especially since your cousin doesn't even have a particular interest in that doll. they're essentially asking you to give a $500 gift to your cous... | nta. you’re not morally obligated to give your family your stuff for free just because they’re related to you and might want it | nta nta nta. i had a bunch of vintage american girl dolls (also felicity) and i kept them at my grandma's for storage. she gave them to my cousin. i'm still fuming. hold onto it op. they're very valuable and collectable and will only continue to appreciate in value. | nta. your cousin didn't say she wanted *your* doll, just *a* doll. yours is vintage and not one that is a toy anymore.
perhaps your family doesn't understand just how valuable your doll is now. they're just looking at it as though you have a toy. | nah. i still have my felicity doll. i also have my sister's molly doll so they can sit together. i also have giant plastic tubs filled with their outfits and accessories.
these dolls (and their outfits) are expensive. they also hold quite a bit of sentimental attachment for me and my sister. the bulk of that sentimen... | info: have you actually put the doll up for sale? send your family the link and tell them good luck on bidding lol | they make target brand 18 inch dolls for $20-30, a little more for one with a storybook. maybe send a link to those to her parents? if you want to be incredibly kind, i'd sell yours and let her choose a new ag doll for $100, and obviously keep the extra cash. you don't have to be any means, but it'd be better than bein... | nta, your doll you can do whatever you want. | you could sell the doll and get her a new one and make $3-400. you don’t have to though, you’ll be nta either way. | nta. it's your doll. you need the money. they have no right to emotionally manipulate you into gifting your cousin the doll. stick to your guns, op. | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NAH | INFO | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0.009259 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: alrighty, so for those of you who don’t know, an american girl doll is an 18-i... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
alrighty, so for those of you who don’t know, an american girl doll ... |
WIBTA if I don’t attend my best friend’s wedding because she won’t let me wear makeup? | tldr: my best friend thinks i will overshadow her at her wedding if i wear makeup. i look a lot better with makeup than without, and she has a history of pointing this out. i’m not confident without makeup and feel pretty sabotaged by this.
i am the moh for my best friend of many years’ wedding. i’ve been breaking my... | 4,117 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/nfun6k/wibta_if_i_dont_attend_my_best_friends_wedding/ | 2021-05-19 03:23:08 | nta. also, this person is not your friend. at all. | nta - tell her fine, if you can't wear makeup you will withdraw completely from her wedding and not do her makeup, either. your friend is jealous and mean and not really a friend. this kind is jealousy is ugly. | nta
this woman is not your friend. | nta, and also,this person isn't much of a friend, if they often belittle you and say mean things about you in general and to men in particular.
you don't have to end the friendship, but you should really give some thought to how you are affected by allowing someone to treat you like garbage whenever it's convenient fo... | nta: this person is not your friend. a friend wouldn't put you down the way yours has been. beauty is a construct and pretty is a set of skills or winning a genetic lotto. you've done nothing wrong. wearing makeup or not is a personal choice and no one should decide for you either way. | what you describe is not a friendship!
hon, friends don't tell guys that express interest that the pretty can be wiped away. friends might share they are jealous or their opinions but don't actively sabotage happiness or confidence.
good riddance, you've given this person time and support. she's aware of your insecu... | nta and what why is this person still called your “best friend?”
the literal point of makeup is to alter one’s appearance. telling you and love-interests your entire friendship that you’re ugly without makeup is absolutely disgusting and childish behavior. i hope you find a better best friend. best friends should li... | wow! i am so sorry that you are being treated this way by somebody who claims to be your friend. it sounds like it’s been really hard dealing with trying to feel secure with yourself, and make up helps with that. for her to turn around and attack you over and over for something you feel insecure about already is just m... | nta. your "friend" sounds immature, insecure and more than a little bit cruel. she has judged your appearance in the past and informed you that you look better with makeup knowing full well that this is an insecurity of yours. her banning you from wearing makeup is not about you potentially overshadowing her, but ab... | i know that because of the time you have spent in this relationship it would be hard to lose. however this woman is not your friend. a friend would never make you not wear makeup just so they could feel better about themself. she’s selfish. i know it’s her big day but if she can’t be i confident in herself, you not wea... | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: tldr: my best friend thinks i will overshadow her at her wedding if i wear mak... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
tldr: my best friend thinks i will overshadow her at her wedding if ... |
AITA for not giving my PS4 to my friend? | ok, so here's what happened. i was telling my friend that i was potentially getting a new gaming pc, when he asks if he can have my ps4 or nintendo switch. i told him that i would think about the ps4, but it was a no to the switch. fast forward to the next day, i tell him that i'll see what i can do about giving him my... | 2,146 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/l1zsy8/aita_for_not_giving_my_ps4_to_my_friend/ | 2021-01-21 14:47:04 | nta...thinking about something isn't the same as promising then changing your mind. also who expects a gaming system for free. | nta. you said you would think about it. unless you said you would absolutely give it to him, then nothing is set in stone. plus, it’s really bold of your friend to ask for you to just give him a ps4. hopefully he doesn’t ask you to give him things often. | nta - why would he expect something for free.
how old are you btw? | nta. there has to be a compromise here. perhaps give him a deal. $200, easy sale. | nta. your friend is a choosing begger | nta. your friend got himself hyped up. you made no promises. it's not a dick move when it's literally your stuff in the first place. | nta. you never told him he could have it, he just assumed that he could | nta. you didn't get your friend hyped, he did that himself. ill think about it and yes are 2 different things. your dad is right, a much smarter decision to sell it and use the money on your new gear | listen man, just keep the ps4. everyone else has covered the nta part of this. i'm focusing on your gaming here. just keep it. i guarantee there are games on that console that you'll want to play 5 years from now that won't be on pc. | nta
you never actually offered him the ps4. you only said you'd think about it. it's his own fault for getting his hopes up for no reason.
if your friend really wants it, maybe he could buy it off you. | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: ok, so here's what happened. i was telling my friend that i was potentially ge... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
ok, so here's what happened. i was telling my friend that i was pote... |
AITA for not accepting my teacher’s “compliment”? | background: i (17f) have an eating disorder that has caused me to lose an unhealthy amount of weight. (i am currently getting treatment and doing well, which is why i’m attending school.) a majority of this was lost during the period that we did online/virtual schooling, so a lot of people were shocked at how i looked ... | 907 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/mucqk3/aita_for_not_accepting_my_teachers_compliment/ | 2021-04-19 22:50:56 | nta. no teacher should ever make a comment about a student’s body. and if he had concerns about your weight, he could’ve taken you aside or something. instead he just seemed to want you to know that he’s noticing your body. creepy.
what you said was the truth and perfectly warranted. | nta.
teachers shouldn't be commenting like that, whether they're "complimenting" or not. he shouldn't be telling girls to "smile more" and calling them nicknames. that's fucking disgusting. | i had an undiagnosed eating disorder for most of my life. i constantly got complimented when i was seriously underweight. as soon as i gained a bit of weight, people would be quick to mention that as well. it really fucks with you. i am still not 100% nta | nta - your teacher should never comment on a student's body, let alone the "honey" and "sweetie" comments. gross | nta. commenting on your body, calling you sweetie and honey. and “smile more”
gross | nta, not at all. honestly, it really shouldn't matter if he (or anyone for that matter) meant it as a compliment or not. it is wholly inappropriate for ppl, particularly a teacher/person of authority, to be commenting on your body. it is really that simple.
your teacher's intent has absolutely no bearing on the [... | nta it is never appropriate for a teacher to comment on a student's appearance. he should feel guilty it was a jerk move. | nta. nobody should be commenting on your weight, whatever the intention it perpetuates fat-phobia and body dysphoria for people of all sizes. | nta - that's a hell of a lot less rude than the responses that jump to mind for me, honestly! i have a friend who once dropped a bunch of weight after going through cancer treatments and she said the thing that pissed her off most was people telling her how "great" she looked for losing weight. her response eventually ... | nta he has *zero* business commenting on your body, even as a compliment. | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: background: i (17f) have an eating disorder that has caused me to lose an unhe... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
background: i (17f) have an eating disorder that has caused me to lo... |
AITA for not apologizing to my coworker | **throwaway account because while i don't think my coworkers use reddit, my main is identifiable.**
**i (33f) have an infant (7 months) who has been coming to the office with me. i work in an office of all women, all of whom are mothers. my boss allows me to bring my infant to work with me, and he's a relatively easy ... | 146 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/srziy4/aita_for_not_apologizing_to_my_coworker/ | 2022-02-14 02:28:32 | nta. no one should ever be trying to take your child from you without your consent. even if she was trying to help, she could’ve asked or suggested what to do. you’ve made it clear that you did not want her taking your child and she kept pushing, and then followed and grabbed you. i would’ve had the same reaction as a ... | i know everyone is voting nta but i don’t think it’s possible to vote. there are strong indications that what you’re posting - how you think you came across and how you perceived her actions as aggressive - is widely different to how she would experienced the same encounter. seems like you appeared a lot more aggravate... | info: has she ever insisted on taking the baby before? does she act out in other ways in the office that’s not her place to do so?
if the answer is no, i’m kinda finding it hard to believe she’d try taking the baby without good reason. you might have looked more upset and dangerous than you think. also, would it be su... | esh. babies don't belong in the workplace. fussy babies especially don't belong in the workplace. mothers who admittedly have mental health issues exacerbated by fussy babies shouldn't take their babies to the workplace. you are absolutely an asshole who needs to quit your job or find a daycare provider.
your coworker... | nta
she refused to listen when you said no and invaded your personal space as well as trying to remove your child from you. she owes you the apology. | nta. no one just tries to snatch someone's child away from someone without expecting a hostile response. | yta
it sounds like you were being erratic…just from the post so i can only imagine the reality. you don’t have to apologize but like she said, don’t even look to her for help going forward. oh, and less sympathy from all your coworkers too. | esh. your coworker definitely sucks for putting hands on you in any way, shape, or form. she's the bigger ah. but honestly? babies don't belong in the workplace and i guarantee you this has been really annoying for your coworkers. (and i say that as a mom of 2.) i'm sorry that you've been struggling with ppd and maybe ... | yta for thinking that because coworkers are " mothers". mind you having a newborn at work. you sound like you were exacerbate by an overall bad situation. you also say you have ppd. after second request to hold baby was refused she should have backed off. i'm sure though you a site to witness. yta because a baby neve... | esh stop bringing your baby into an office space | NTA | NTA | INFO | ESH | NTA | NTA | YTA | ESH | YTA | ESH | 0.740105 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: **throwaway account because while i don't think my coworkers use reddit, my ma... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
**throwaway account because while i don't think my coworkers use red... |
AITA for telling my wife that I am parent too of our daughter and can I also decide who can visit? | my (m) wife (f) and my mother have a troubled relationship mainly for political reasons (brazilian here).
since 2018 (we've been together for 8 years), there hasn't been a single meeting between them that hasn't been discussed or needled on either side. because of this, they haven't talked or seen each other for 2 ye... | 505 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/xc4omy/aita_for_telling_my_wife_that_i_am_parent_too_of/ | 2022-09-12 05:49:34 | nta.
why is your wife hung up on trusting your mother? does she think your mother, who is in hospice care, is going to be the primary caregiver during the trip? isn't your infant basically just going to be held or in a stroller/car seat? literally, wtf is your wife thinking? | overstepping her limit and disrespecting her decision … what!!! she does understand that you being the baby’s father have equal rights. whatever the difference for sake grandma’s at the end of her life. how could your wife be so cruel to a dying grandmother nta but your wife big time ah. | nta, yes she is your daughter too. your wife needs to keep her petty ego aside. what does she think your mom will do on her hospital bedside???
please take your child to meet your mother | esh
i'm sensing some missing reasons here. for example, you say that the reason your mother and wife don't get along is mostly political. but she says she doesn't trust your mother - which suggests that these political disagreements have aspects that affect your mother's behavior and decisions in ways your wife cons... | info: has your mother done something to put another person in danger? you as a kid, your wife, anyone else? i'm trying to determine whether she's just overly stressed or if she has good reason to feel this way. | info: what does your wife not "trusting" your mother have anything to do with your mother meeting a baby?
also, at the end, when you say that you've already left the house to go to friends and family, are you saying that you just ignored what she said and took your daughter to see your mother?
it's usually a bad idea... | jesus. nta. your wife made a unilateral decision. typically, shouldn’t couples discuss something before making a rule given the severity of the rule at issue? and shouldn’t the rule have exceptions?
i don’t think you’re an asshole for saying you’re a parent and can decide on who sees your daughter, too. it’s a fair f... | your baby is 3months old. what will your ill mother do? indoctrinate her with her politics or abduct her? no. nta. your wife is overstepping, imo. | nta
what does she except ? she does not trust your mother but what is she implying ?
the baby is 3 months old. she is not gonna take her to a political meeting or give her pamphlet. | info:
are your wife and child poc and your mother racist, or are they marginalised in some other way and your mothers political views put them in danger? | NTA | NTA | NTA | ESH | INFO | INFO | NTA | NTA | NTA | INFO | 0.114998 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: my (m) wife (f) and my mother have a troubled relationship mainly for politic... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
my (m) wife (f) and my mother have a troubled relationship mainly f... |
AITA for using details from my divorce in a book I wrote? | my (38f) marriage ended 5 years ago after i learned my ex husband was cheating on me with someone who i considered to be one of my best friends. it broke my heart and i was angry. my biggest source of anger came from the frustration that i had to co-parent with him and the fact she was going to be my kids stepmom after... | 3,911 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/jxn6ki/aita_for_using_details_from_my_divorce_in_a_book/ | 2020-11-20 11:09:36 | nta.
>ex claims it was reckless and selfish for me to do it.
that is a big accusation considering where it's come from.
ok, so let's run a balance sheet.
- kids lived through a divorce
- kids had to watch mums bestie become step mother
- kids had to watch mum deal with betrayal
- mum writes an anonymous book ex... | nta. if he’s so worried about the kids turning against him he should have conducted himself in a more appropriate manner. | nta he can suck it, he's just going into "oh shit" mode that his dirty laundry is out in the world in any form, even if it can't be identified as him. you're a bigger person than me, i'd have told the kids all the aweful details. | nta. you didn’t use real names and if his poor behaviour is something he’s ashamed for other people to read about even with that level of anonymity then he should have thought about that before he did it. | info: honestly, i'd love to check out your book. i understand if you don't want to post a link to it publicly but would it be ok to dm you for a link to wherever i can purchase an ebook? | nta. you turned lemons into lemonade, did a little cathartic self therapy, and made some benjamins and all without pointing fingers. good for you! | hahaha - tell your ex - if he’s not ashamed of anything he did, then nothing to worry about. tell him he’s lucky you didnt use their real names.
nta | [deleted] | info: how did this woman happen to come across your book? | nta, writers use things from their real experiences all the time, and they don't always employ the courtesy of a pseudonym as you did. i heard sylvia plath more or less threw a dozen people under the bus in the bell jar, which is "fiction" in the loosest sense of the word. if no-one knows you wrote it, nobody can ident... | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | INFO | NTA | NTA | null | INFO | NTA | 0.02053 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: my (38f) marriage ended 5 years ago after i learned my ex husband was cheating... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
my (38f) marriage ended 5 years ago after i learned my ex husband wa... |
AITA for leaving my friend behind at the airport??? | throwaway for reasons.
my friends and i had a guys weekend recently. i agreed to drive my friend and i to the airport since we were catching the same flight. leaving the same day. at the same time. i told him to be ready by 1pm for a 2:52pm flight departing from newark. we were 35 minutes away.
he calls me at 12:2... | 186 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zjg404/aita_for_leaving_my_friend_behind_at_the_airport/ | 2022-12-12 00:20:44 | nta
he missed the flight because he wasnt ready, not because you didnt 'keep the time at 1pm' what cheek to blame you for it!
next time when he isnt ready at 1pm, tell him to either come 'as is' or find another way to the airport, and then leave.
he's an adult, he can figure it out himself. | nta, i would have left his house when he asked you to walk the dog. | i think you are nta but i also think the entire situation is extremely funny. he forgets a toothbrush but remembers a bowling ball. it's truly entertaining. | nta, i’m assuming he’s a full grown adult, you’re not responsible for his poor planning at their age. i have a similar sounding friend, he has to bring his guitar everywhere. he cannot play the guitar, no one in our friend group can. | nta. you left your friend at the airport to make your plane. completely understandable.
your friend made a series of bad decisions about getting prepared that day. why should you bear the brunt of his poor planning???? answer: you should not. you were very patient just getting him to the airport. and the bowling... | nta
a fucking bowling ball? wtf? | nta
this is one of those posts where i genuinely wonder why you would even for a single second entertain the possibility that you’re the asshole. i mean, read through your post. you kept being extremely kind and he kept being extremely childish. you’re not the asshole. he is. | nta. he told you to go ahead without him, then didn’t respond when you tried to contact him. it sounds like this will blow over. | nta and i seriously need more info on the bowling ball aspect. what did he do with the bowling ball on the trip? cuddle it at night? take shots out of it? | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: throwaway for reasons. my friends and i had a guys weekend recently. i agreed ... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
throwaway for reasons. my friends and i had a guys weekend recently.... |
AITA for asking my girlfriend to drop out her Curry day? | me (25f) and my family (parents and siblings) have lived in japan for 8 years (i was born there). whenever it was colder weather, my mom would make curry for the family. this tradition continued till this day (in another country)... if it's raining or it's cold, on a weekend, my mom will call for lunch/dinner at her ho... | 2,044 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/wj2uia/aita_for_asking_my_girlfriend_to_drop_out_her/ | 2022-08-08 07:46:06 | nta.
even though yes, technically, she can cook whatever she wants, but being right doesn't always mean that you're not an asshole. i think it's pretty clear she's doing it on purpose. | nta.
but y are ta if you enable camile in this sh\*t stirring. i dunno what camile's other virtues are but she sure don't come across well in this story. | nta
if she really wanted to start her own tradition she wouldn't pick a dish that already has one. | nta. this is starting drama for the sake of drama. i’ve had my fair share of disagreements with my (now ex) mil but this is not about your mother…this is about everyone else who will have to deal with the fallout of her petty dinner party. | nta. camille is very clearly trying to get a rise out of your mom. it would be one thing to make the curry the way she wanted for just the two of you. but to constantly nag your mom about changing the recipe, and then usurp her tradition, and serve her a steaming pile of “in your face” in front of the whole family is ... | this sounds like a very yummy problem. she clearly wants to one up your moms curry though. | >and i am based on my mother's reaction, as she was already extremely upset when a sil decided to make this dinner for my brother and the children years ago. my mom doesn't care about many things, but curry's day is important to her.
i would have said that your girlfriend is the issue if not for this part.
your m... | nta, your gf is being an a**. | nta but mom and gf are. gf is needling your mother for no good reason. she can cook curry when she wants but essentially hijacking yor mom's thing is uncalled for.
your mom needs to get over being upset when someone other than her cooks curry. sil was cooking for her spouse and kids, not the whole family so not trying... | nta, it sounds like she is trying to wind up your mum. if she just wants to show that she can make a better japanese curry she can cook it just for you and that should be enough. if she wants to host a nice family dinner she should just make something else. | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: me (25f) and my family (parents and siblings) have lived in japan for 8 years ... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
me (25f) and my family (parents and siblings) have lived in japan fo... |
AITA for letting my daughter’s boyfriend stay the night when my husband doesn’t want him to? | hi everyone. my daughter turned 18 at the beginning of the year, and graduated from school in may. she was accepted to the university course she wanted in august but decided to defer the year as she wanted to work, save up some money, and have an easy year after how hard she worked last year. my husband and i were both... | 162 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/e9roug/aita_for_letting_my_daughters_boyfriend_stay_the/ | 2019-12-12 18:45:42 | nta.
it’s actually somewhat refreshing to read about a parent who realises their 18 year old is no longer a child, and is giving them the freedom (under your roof) to make their own decisions, good or bad. | nta!
in fact you sound like you've raised a responsible 18yo (paying rent to her mom!), and are teaching her how to be an adult. you thoughtfully assessed the situation, and deemed her to be ready for the responsibility.
shame on him for infantilizing her, and demeaning you, cuz wtf does he mean "not really paying re... | nta your daughter is an adult and is paying rent. as far as i'm concerned she didn't even need to tell you. it was a courteous gesture. | nta
you are being very mature about the whole thing. your daughter isnt a child anymore, and you are treating her like an adult. good for you!
you husband is overreacting. not his kid, not his rules. not his house, not his rules. however, yo should have mentioned it to him just so he wasnt surprised. the shock ... | nta. even if he goes running to bio-dad in a tantrum there's not much anyone can do. she's 18, living in your home and paying rent. they have no say over her actions.
personally i'd rather have them at home, safe. | nta. bless you. i wish more parents had a logical, realist attitude toward parenting like you. your husband is definitely being a bit too controlling towards your daughter's life. as long as she is making smart choices, it seems fine. | nta. you're right, if you charge your daughter rent then she should be able to have visitors.
> in his opinion it’s completely inappropriate for “a child” to have a boy stay over
look, he needs to realize she will have sex whether he likes it or not. | nta.
1. she's 18 - not a child.
2. she's not his child. you set the rules for her. he can debate, but he can not dictate.
3. yes, she is paying rent. what you do with that money is up to you, but she is definitely paying rent and as such should have at least some of the rights that a normal tenant does.
4. does he ser... | nta.
you have set rational and fair rules and your daughter has respected them. she's an adult and had negotiated a very reasonable arrangement.
it's not her stepfather's business. i'm assuming he has a problem with her having sex under his roof? he has no say in another adults sex life.
it doesn't set a bad examp... | nta.
although you should have let your husband know beforehand. she's an adult and has been paying rent (to her knowledge). your husband's ta for threatening to tell your daughter's father about it.
i grew up extremely sheltered. overprotective father. so i would sneak out/lie to my dad in my early twenties about th... | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: hi everyone. my daughter turned 18 at the beginning of the year, and graduated... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
hi everyone. my daughter turned 18 at the beginning of the year, and... |
AITA for telling a regular customer that he isn't as beloved as he thinks and banning him? | i manage a small cafe in a college town. we are one of the places who doesn't have wifi because we only have 6 indoor tables and wifi encourages people 'camping' tables all day, which is bad for business (we aren't one of those "no wifi, just talk to each other!!!" places, it's just better for turnover this way. edit t... | 10,480 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/dei1mo/aita_for_telling_a_regular_customer_that_he_isnt/ | 2019-10-07 11:19:26 | nta. he was disruptive to business, and didn't want to listen to you when you warned him. | nta he oversteps common decency and acts like an employee to other customers. you tried being nice and he couldn't take the hint so you had to be harsh. he's a grown ass man who doesn't know how to act. being lonely isn't an excuse to cause issues. | i find really telling the fact that the female staff is happy about the banning while the male staff thinks you were too harsh. nta | nta dude’s a dick and may be turning other people off your coffee shop which is bad for business. | nta
businesses can refuse service to anyone for any reason (apart from the obvious illegal ones)
if he'd actually been a good customer that might have been different but one small coffee for hours? and being that annoying to both customers and staff?
trust me, even the people saying you were harsh are most likely ... | nta. you're the manager and you have to do what's good for business. that group of people pushing two tables together might have spent more than that one customer does in 2 weeks, and they'll only be there for an hour or so. you made the pragmatic choice. | nta
he purposely harassed female staff out of earshot and sight of male staff. that's predatory behavior. he may not have been being sexual, or doing anything specifically creepy, but the fact that he didn't do it with male staff means he knows his behavior is inappropriate, and he knows he can get away with it with... | i worked in a little family owned jewelry store in a mall. the owner of the mall wasn’t known as a straight up creep, but it was public knowledge that he paid inappropriate attention to young women who worked in the stores and restaurants of the mall. one day our boss took me aside and told be that the owner of the mal... | >he doesn't exactly flirt with us but he pesters us with personal questions and boring stories in a way he doesn't pester male staff.
fyi, that is "flirting" (read: harassing, flirting is mutual) to a certain kind of guy. | nta
i'm not sure if it was necessary to outright ban him, but he definitely needed to be taken down a peg. being so possessive to the point of actually *policing* other customers is just...oh, so cringe worthy!
i think you had to be firm, or he would have taken it wrong (i.e. "oh, op's just worried, they'll get in tr... | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i manage a small cafe in a college town. we are one of the places who doesn't ... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i manage a small cafe in a college town. we are one of the places wh... |
AITA for not wanting to share my piece of cake with my family? | my best friend is leaving tomorrow (flying overseas) and she made a chocolate cake that i love. yesterday i went to visit her during the night and she gave me a slice of her chocolate cake for me to eat later. she put it in a box and then gave it to me. when i arrived home, my grandma asked what was inside the box and ... | 236 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cu17wh/aita_for_not_wanting_to_share_my_piece_of_cake/ | 2019-08-22 18:09:16 | nta. it's a fucking *slice* of cake, not a whole one. | nta it was a single slice of cake not an entire cake. you had every right to enjoy it all yourself. also is your aunt a child? because that is very childish behaviour.. | nta. it’s *one* slice.
extra credit for
#joey doesn’t share food! | nta its literally just a piece of cake. like a whole cake is somewhat debatable, but at the end of the day it's still your food. | nta how the f would 6 people share 1 piece of cake anyways? it was a gift for you, you're not obligated to share it. | [deleted] | nta. how entitled of them all! | null | null | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | NTA | null | null | null | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: my best friend is leaving tomorrow (flying overseas) and she made a chocolate ... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
my best friend is leaving tomorrow (flying overseas) and she made a ... |
AITA for telling my friend she cant get a date because she's hypocritical | bear with me i'm on mobile!
so i have this friend we'll call amy who i've know for about 4 years. now amy's always had trouble in the dating scene and recently it's gotten worse. she is a bit of a bigger girl but not really overweight or anything because shes tall as well. she really only ever goes on dates/trys to go ... | 1,846 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/er9htd/aita_for_telling_my_friend_she_cant_get_a_date/ | 2020-01-20 06:41:49 | nta: way to call it like it is, regardless it doesn't seem like she is going to change. that being said, good job. | nta- if she’s allowed to have type so are other people. she doesn’t have to be a jerk to the guys that don’t fit her type and that makes her an asshole. you did the right thing by calling her out | nta
"amy" shouldn't give out comments on someone else's body if she can't take negative comments about her in return. | nta she’s being a total hypocrite and you did good by calling her out. she doesn’t seem like someone who will learn from situations like this either. | nta.
i've been overweight my whole life and i was so self-conscious that i refused to date in high school or even acknowledge when someone liked me because i hated myself so much i couldn't fathom another person being into me. i felt disgusting and i was embarrassed for people to see me. my friends forced me to join ... | nta. the hypocrisy speaks for itself, and there was no reason for her to be unkind to your friend. | nta -isn’t this what incels are known for? | nta - you don't get to be such a hypocrite. plus, you're unhappy so you tear other people's confidence down?
nah.
fuck that shit. | nope nta. call a spade a spade | i'm going to say yta because your friend is an asshole, you *know* she's an asshole, but you still set her up with some poor guy that, deep down, you knew shed reject. | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | YTA | 0.024 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: bear with me i'm on mobile! so i have this friend we'll call amy who i've know... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
bear with me i'm on mobile! so i have this friend we'll call amy who... |
AITA for not allowing my 17 year old daughter to see a therapist? | my daughter has been asking me if she could start seeing a therapist because she’s been experiencing depression, and i have noticed changes in her since october of this year, and she feels unmotivated with her classes even when she gets a’s, but she does poorly in 2 of her classes. i told her that everyone her age (all... | 678 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/k5gxfd/aita_for_not_allowing_my_17_year_old_daughter_to/ | 2020-12-02 19:55:11 | yta. i actually cannot believe a parent is writing this.
suicide is a real thing and i pray you're never writing about it. | yta
>i don’t think it’s gotten to a point where her depression needs to be addressed.
if she has depression it needs to be addressed before it get worse. which it will because...
>i don’t want people disrespecting my time
you are a self important asshole. | you were an asshole for the band thing and you're an asshole now.
yta. | omg. so much to unpack here.
> my daughter has been asking me if she could start seeing a therapist because she’s been experiencing depression
okay. that sounds clear.
> i have noticed changes in her since october of this year
well, good. there are some great online therapy resources that easy to use.
... | she’s calling out for help & you’re dismissing it. yta | yes, yta. she might have things she needs to work out with a therapist and you don't know or understand. don't assume you know everything about your child's mental health just because you raised her and she lives in your home. my parent did the same thing and she was put soundly in her place when i was diagnosed with a... | woaahh. yta. there is no downside to getting therapy and you’re invalidating your poor daughter’s experiences. i believe everyone could benefit from talking things out with a professional. also what does you being busy have to do with her going to therapy? you don’t need to go with her for the sessions?
when i was a t... | yta. if your daughter thinks she needs to see a therapist, it's probably true. let her do virtual visits with one, and see how it goes. shouldn't impact you in the slightest. | yta. “she needs to learn to manage herself,” she’s 17, she’s doesn’t know how to manage herself yet. she hasn’t had time to grow and learn how to deal with said obstacles in life yet. dude, you’re her dad, and you’re too busy? it’s a story all too familiar. look, you’re not some terrible, raging asshole of a dad, but i... | yta ... and if you are real i hope she cuts you off at 18 so you can enjoy your precious self absorbed time | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: my daughter has been asking me if she could start seeing a therapist because s... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
my daughter has been asking me if she could start seeing a therapist... |
AITA for speaking to his daughter when he wouldnt? | alright so if i'm wrong, tell me. i am quick to apologize for my wrong doings and i'm generally pretty self aware. but this situation has me freaking baffled. i'm 28f and i have 2 sons aged 11 and 8. my bf of 4 years (who just moved in 5 months ago) has a daughter, age 9. he has her on a week on, week off basis. prior ... | 271 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/v2uub1/aita_for_speaking_to_his_daughter_when_he_wouldnt/ | 2022-06-01 23:32:00 | nta- and i don’t think you should apologize but i think you need to speak up more and tell him what has been going on a daily basis. i’m annoyed at your bf for coming in and giving her the go ahead - does he not know your system? also why hasn’t he told her to stop teasing them about sharing a room. i am sensing an o... | nta - your bf is going to side with his daughter. that’s a given. she doesn’t show him her nasty side like she’s done to you. that little twerp knows what’s she’s doing. you didn’t do anything wrong. if it were me, she’d been yeeted out of the house by now.
you need to tell your bf what you’ve been dealing with while... | nta- if bf doesn’t know whose turn it is to pick a movie, make a calendar that he must support following. | nta, do not allow her to mistreat your children and continue her manipulation. what you did was parent. her father should take a look at what parenting is. he needs to step up or you need to step out. your children deserve better and they will remember how you deal with this. she will not grow out of this. her ba... | nta. holding kids to very different standards in situations like this will not end well. his daughter is being a bully towards your kids, and that needs to be stopped. | nta and honestly i think you should reconsider having a relationship with a man that can’t parent. | nta, you are doing a lot for these kids and that must be really intense. your bf should be appreciative of your effort and sacrifices. i don't really believe in time outs for any age but i understand why you got stressed out by her behavior and just needed her to go away for a moment. it's hard to have consequences tha... | nta. your son didn’t let his daughter pick the movie as your bf says. daughter wore son down until he couldn’t take it anymore & gave in. | null | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | null | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: alright so if i'm wrong, tell me. i am quick to apologize for my wrong doings ... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
alright so if i'm wrong, tell me. i am quick to apologize for my wro... |
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