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AITA for not giving up my exit row seat on an Airplane? | i was flying from detroit to greensboro this afternoon and i was lucky enough to get an exit row when i asked the concierge at the desk. it really makes planes more bearable as i am 6'11" and have leg issues from collegiate sports.
i got on and when most people were boarding, this mom asked me if her 14 year old girl... | 2,246 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/f8ljvd/aita_for_not_giving_up_my_exit_row_seat_on_an/ | 2020-02-24 04:07:27 | nta. you have to be 15 to sit in an exit row. it’s an faa regulation. also, why would and exit row matter in this situation? | [removed] | i’m going with nta because i cannot fathom how her being in that seat would have prevented the vomit river that ensued. | nta who on earth asks a 6’11” person to take their seat with more leg room. there were 5 other seats in the exit row she could have asked to switch with. further more, is her daughter gets that sick she should have taken more precautions than hope someone would trade her seats. | nta. did they stop offering vomit bags at some point? and if you know your kid gets sick on planes every time, why wouldn't you invest in some gallon size ziplocs?
> one woman said under her breath "if you're gonna be that tall, just buy first-class."
if you're gonna be a dick to people, just walk to your des... | nta a 14 year old can’t legally sit in the exit row anyway. mom’s right. it was avoidable, by taking a trip to the doctor ahead of time and getting proper medication for her daughter. | def nta. ffs — that girl was 14, not a baby. gotta puke? get tf up and go to the restroom. and the mom obviously knew about her kids’ pukey condition and did nothing other than assume other ppl would accommodate her. | > one woman said under her breath "if you're gonna be that tall, just buy first-class."
nta. pretty sure exit rows are all priority seating on the major three airlines, i.e. you have to pay extra for it. sure, sometimes a concierge can give it to you but maybe you have status or something. | nta i really want to call the mom an asshole for not ensuring her kid had a better seat, if it would help the child not get sick. but maybe it was a last minute thing and out of the mom's control. even so, she should not have been an ass to you about it. there's more than one exit row seat and it's unfortunate they cou... | nta, as an experienced flyer myself. i'd n/a/h if people weren't being sweaty dicks about it, but they are.
especially this:
>one woman said under her breath "if you're gonna be that tall, just buy first-class."
except exit-row seats are very often paid-for because of the extra legroom. this is just absurd.
... | NTA | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i was flying from detroit to greensboro this afternoon and i was lucky enough ... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i was flying from detroit to greensboro this afternoon and i was luc... |
AITA for not letting a child go to the nurse's office? | throwaway a and on mobile.
i (32f) work in a school. i'm not in the us so our grades are counted differently, but my students are between 12 and 14 years old. this story concerns a boy who is 13 and who i will call john.
john will often ask to go to the nurse's office during lessons, usually because he says he feels ... | 300 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ytgb0o/aita_for_not_letting_a_child_go_to_the_nurses/ | 2022-11-12 19:37:48 | nta. but in the future with this kid i would do the following: before he leaves, call the nurse to expect him. when he doesn't show, then he is marked truant. at the same time you send him to the nurse, email mom about his nurse trip. every time. make a template email so it takes no time. every time he doesn't arrive a... | i think you should've brought it up to the principal or admin when you originally found out, like you don't know where that kid is and god forbid smth actually happens to him, then he wouldn't be able to use the excuse to his parents | do you have aids or proctors at your school? i would have a staff member escort this boy directly from your class to the nurse’s office. every time he asks to go. | nta - he cried wolf too many times, you called him on his bullshit. his parent is continuing to defend his crappy behaviour because he went home and whined, instead of recognizing that her child being deceitful is the bigger problem. i'm sure your principal will side with you, when you explain the situation.
just ne... | ehh, nta but you need to come up with a better solution for how to handle this than denying him access to the nurse. as much as we all know little john isn’t really sick or going to the nurse, it just comes back negatively on you when his parents hear about it, as you’ve just experienced. you definitely should have imm... | nta, i don't think you're an asshole for this. i think you could have maybe called the parents/guardian to discuss it as soon as you found out about it instead of waiting to discuss it after denying the nurse visit though. i think that will give the mom time to hear the kid's story first and you know the parent is alwa... | nta.. but we're talking borderline . sounds like the class needs another lesson in the boy who cried wolf. although next time i would do this differently and take one of the many suggestions of sending somebody with him, getting confirmation from the nurse that he showed up, as well as contacting his mom.
i have all ... | i wouldn’t call you an asshole for that decision but the mother is absolutely right. irrelevant of past decisions and actions on your students part you can’t deny requested medical attention. he abused the system and took advantage of you but it’s not a privilege to see a doctor it’s a right. you’re also not all wrong ... | as a fellow educator, you sadly are going to get a yta.
but, i have to solution! as he leaves, call the nurses office on your classroom phone, loudly... (talking outloud while emailing the nurse is also nice because paper trail!)
also, my school allowed us to send a student with a sick student to the nurse. | nta.
retired teacher here. the parent is the asshole for defending and enabling their son's behavior. | NTA | null | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | YTA | NTA | 0.057131 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: throwaway a and on mobile. i (32f) work in a school. i'm not in the us so our ... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
throwaway a and on mobile. i (32f) work in a school. i'm not in the ... |
AITAH for getting mad my ex and best friend are dating and didn’t tell me? | throwaway
my ex and i broke up around the end of march this year. no bad reasons except neither of us were really in a good mental state and since being in a relationship is difficult even without that we decided it was best to just brake up and figure stuff out first.
anyway fast forward to two days ago when i got ... | 178 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hxhiqf/aitah_for_getting_mad_my_ex_and_best_friend_are/ | 2020-07-25 05:34:28 | nta may the bridges you burn light the way. they should have told you instead of hiding it. honestly you're a better person than me. if i knew my gf was cheating she'd be dead to me. | nta. and these people are *not* your friends, op. they hid this from you and then have the gall to suggest you apologise to your ex? to hell with that. your whole friend circle seems horrible. and i hope he's now your ex best friend. | nta the fact this you even consider the guy a friend after he slept with your ex while you two were dating is a shocker. and honestly it sounds like your true friends know that you needed to get whatever you said off your chest. sure you might not have done it in the beat way possible, but holding in all the pain and s... | nta
your so called "best friend" isn't even a friend - while he's allowed to date her after you break up, morally.... you at least wait until your friend (meaning you) are over the break-up and in a better mindset.
remember that it takes two to tango; your gf and him are major assbutts. | null | null | null | null | null | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: throwaway my ex and i broke up around the end of march this year. no bad reaso... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
throwaway my ex and i broke up around the end of march this year. no... |
AITA for wanting my mother to acknowledge my difficult childhood? | bit of backstory for context. when i was 11 my younger brother was diagnosed with a life threatening illness. obviously this sent our family life into a total tailspin. my dad was working full time (60 hours a week) and my mother was a stay at home mom. we lived in an unincorporated part of town, out in the country wit... | 252 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/q6qi2g/aita_for_wanting_my_mother_to_acknowledge_my/ | 2021-10-12 16:52:18 | nta. a psychologist once said to me "your parents may have done their best, but their best wasn't good enough"
your mother is gaslighting you and your experiences. maybe it's time to put some distance between her. some parents will never acknowledge that they were neglectful people. | i would play the “concerned” act the next time you see her.
“i’m sorry that i blew up last time, but i got really worried and concerned when i realized you seem to have lost almost 10 years of memory. it was very scary to witness that, and i didn’t handle it well. i think we need to set a doctor’s appointment if you t... | nta
it was definitely a hard situation to be in.
i think your mother knows it hasn't been easy for you, she just refuses to admit it because that would mean she somewhat failed as a parent. and admitting to the failure is never easy. | nta
you were hurt and they unintentionally neglected you. it doesnt matter if they intended to but they did. i could understand your pain and disappointment by them denying what happened to you. she needs to acknowledge and apologize. she did the best she could but that left one child out.
therapy for both you guys ... | your whole family went through some pretty rough times, and i am sorry this happened. you nailed it when you said that sometimes all you get by is on a wing and a prayer. unfortunately, your mother doesn't want to acknowledge how hard this was on you because it makes her feel like a bad mother. you were absolutely in t... | nta. you were parentified, which is abuse. now your parents may have truly done the best that they could, but it doesn’t change the fact that you were forced to become a grownup at age 11. the fact that your mom won’t give you any credit for that whatsoever, is heartbreaking, a lie, and shameful on her part. she may b... | nta. sometimes hard things happen in life and families do the best they can with a small amount of resources. but the fact that she doesn’t acknowledge what happened and even lies to you about the facts, as opposed to recognizing what you have been through, being proud of how much you overcame and how well you did is a... | nta, but realize that memory is genuinely malleable. she may genuinely believe she didn't leave you to your own devices as much as she did. | null | null | NTA | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | null | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: bit of backstory for context. when i was 11 my younger brother was diagnosed w... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
bit of backstory for context. when i was 11 my younger brother was d... |
AITA because I separated my dishes from my roommate's | i (22m) am roommates with my partner (24m "william") and a roommate (25f "nancy"). it's a 3 bedroom apartment, so we just have a common living area to share, meaning a living room, dining room, and a small kitchen.
when we first moved in together, we started off sharing dishes, mostly because we have a small kitchen a... | 320 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ysal2h/aita_because_i_separated_my_dishes_from_my/ | 2022-11-11 13:32:01 | nta your roommate needs to learn how to be an adult and take care of other people’s stuff. if it takes a month to learn how to wash dishes, it’s gong to be a slippery slope back to where you started when you reintegrate. | she sounds like an entitled brat. what's stopping her from purchasing her own dishes? nta | nta. i had a friend who kept all of her dishes in a large tote in her room because her roommate would take every dish into his room and they wouldn’t come back out for months. she decided that as they came out of the room she was cleaning them and keeping them in her room. he never said anything about the lack of dishe... | nta.
she didn’t respect your property, you tried to talk about it and she ignored you.
this is the consequences of her own actions; she clearly isn’t used to being held accountable. | nta. you have nancy plenty of opportunities to clean the dishes properly, and she has not stuck to her end of the agreement. she also ruined your cookware. the fact that she flipped out about not being able to use your pans is kind of bizarre to me…why can’t she go out and buy her own? | nta any self respecting person would have done the same. honestly, everything should have been separated from the moment a roommate situation became involved. it keeps sooo many issues at bay. if you decide to go back to letting her use your stuff (which i wouldn't after that temper tantrum), leave the kitchen separat... | nta. she didn’t treat your things with respect, even after several conversations. also, she doesn’t have a right to use your things because you’re roommates. if things don’t work out again, you can easily lock the cabinets. | null | null | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | null | null | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i (22m) am roommates with my partner (24m "william") and a roommate (25f "nanc... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i (22m) am roommates with my partner (24m "william") and a roommate ... |
WIBTA if we have an “intervention” for a friend before she gets married? | my friend (26 f) “becky" was set to get married later this month, a destination wedding. obviously, it ultimately had to get moved to next spring. it’s been a whirlwind of moving plans and guests, so she’s been super stressed. she and her fiancé (mark) are planning on getting the marriage certificate in a few weeks for... | 496 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/i6wba6/wibta_if_we_have_an_intervention_for_a_friend/ | 2020-08-10 02:19:46 | nta. it’s not really the proposal thing that got me, it’s more the panic attack and her obvious anxiety about the situation. intervention time. | nta. sometimes good friends have to have difficult conversations. just make sure she understands that you are not against her marrying mark, so much that you want to make sure that this is what she really wants. that she deserves to be happy, comfortable, and safe and secure. if she's having anxiety attacks, a good fri... | nta... but you will be the asshole if you let your friend end up with mark for the rest of her life. | nta, especially considering she had a panic attack the first time, and talking about how he’s not her type when they’re going to get married is a huge red flag. but go into it well aware that she could end up being mad at you. people get defensive when their relationships are attacked, even if it’s just with truth that... | nah it is definitely concerning that she feels uncomfortable in his home and has panic attacks from him. i wouldnt straight up tell her to not marry him, but i would talk to her and really try to get her to think over the relationship. give her a safe space to discuss her situation without the pressure from her family ... | nta, but i probably wouldn’t go the full on intervention route. i personally would have each of your friends bring it up to her separately and in more natural ways than sitting her down and all of you bombarding her with your concerns. i just don’t see that likely working well. | ywnbta bc you are coming from a place of genuine concern for your friend like idk even know this chick and i’m concerned too! however she will definitely say you guys are ta at first so just be prepared for that and don’t take it personally she’s gonna be in a whole world of hurt and confusion and will probably project... | null | null | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NAH | NTA | NTA | null | null | null | 0.000893 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: my friend (26 f) “becky" was set to get married later this month, a destinatio... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
my friend (26 f) “becky" was set to get married later this month, a ... |
AITA for not wanting to share the shower with my husband? | tl;dr i think my husband ita for hijacking my shower, he thinks iata for not wanting to share.
long version:
i work full time and still nurse our youngest baby, between work and life and being tied at the boob to a small human i do not get the chance to shower as often as i would like. any time i do shower, there is ... | 777 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/nmd68e/aita_for_not_wanting_to_share_the_shower_with_my/ | 2021-05-27 17:50:40 | nta
i **don't even want to ask** what happens when your husband notices someone else is using the toilet without him. | nta
you need to have a serious conversation with your husband about boundaries and respect.
be blunt. you taking a shower is not an invitation for him to take one as well.
---
edit to add: he lacks chivalry
never use chivalry in an argument to get a man to behave. the chivalric code had very little to do with how ... | nta a shower is so much more than getting physically clean (which is hard to do when he's blocking the water). it's mentally cleaning too, getting to wash away the day and just breathe by yourself for a moment is so important. | nta. he needs to respect your privacy and space. he is ta.
(and is it possible to add a lock to the bathroom door?) | nta. between being a parent of small people, nursing, and working, shower time is sacred alone time for you to relax. your husband has all day to shower, with or without the kids.
if he wants the sense of connection with you, it needs to be something you both enjoy.
(edited for clarity). | nta. a mom with a busy life and a baby on the boob really needs a fucking break, and some alone time. he should be more considerate of you. i hope you can get your shower. try turning out the light, sounds crazy but it's amazing, | nta.
people who think showering together is fun have clearly never done this before in an average shower cubicle with an average showerhead 🙄 | nta
you are allowed to have the restroom to yourself, privately. he can shower on his own time and doesn't need to share. | nta - he's being weirdly possessive and that needs to stop. being close is one thing, but dang, calling you a bitch about not wanting to share? there's absolutely no reason for you to have to deal with that kind of crap. you deserve your own time in the shower. and...i hate to say it, but i think he needs some therapy... | nta you sound exhausted and entitled to a few minutes of peaceful solitude. him barging into that almost every single time is obnoxious. i assume you’re not in the shower for hours? he can wait a few minutes until you are done. | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: tl;dr i think my husband ita for hijacking my shower, he thinks iata for not w... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
tl;dr i think my husband ita for hijacking my shower, he thinks iata... |
AITA for telling my parents if they want me to buy a kindle, they should buy it with their own money | tldr: my parents want me to buy a kindle with my b-day money, i want to buy something else.
so my birthday is in 5 days, and on my birthday i get a decent amount of money. i'm a big reader, but since the local library is closed due to the pandemic, i won't be able to take out books. since i don't have any books tha... | 1,098 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/k6lkmg/aita_for_telling_my_parents_if_they_want_me_to/ | 2020-12-04 14:10:59 | nta. also, if you have a smartphone or a tablet, you can download e-reader apps for free; such as kobo, nook, and even kindle. then you pay for the individual books but there are also things like daily deals, free ebooks, audio books, etc. its the better option in my opinion because you aren't spending money on the dev... | parents: *pester op into buying the kindle and say* "it will be like your personal library, noone but you will use it and u can have all the books in the world!"
op: *gets tired and finnaly buys the kindle*
parents 0.000001 seconds after delivery* ***our kindle***
nta. they wanna use ur personal/b'day money to buy s... | nta. check with your local library to see if they are doing curbside service. they may also have ebooks to borrow via overdrive / libby or a similar app. | nta, if you don't want to spend your money on that then don't, and if they want you to have one that badly it can be their gift to you. | you can use kindle on any tablet or desk top. i am security guard who does nothing all day. i basically read on kindle on my work computer the entire shift. | nta - your money. you should be able to spend it how you like. if it's important to your parents, let them "surprise" you with a kindle for christmas. btw, your library may have a service that allows you to download kindle books for three weeks, like an ordinary book. | adding to the free e-books suggestions: [https://www.gutenberg.org/](https://www.gutenberg.org/)
hang onto your money, and spend some time reading e-books on your phone, tablet, or other computer. if your parents are reasonable, they'll soon come round. | nta. this is your money.
also, i love my kindle and i've had several models since 2009, but if this is the only time you have over 30 dollars to spend on something, it's an extravagance, even if you wanted one. | null | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | NTA | null | NTA | null | null | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: tldr: my parents want me to buy a kindle with my b-day money, i want to buy so... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
tldr: my parents want me to buy a kindle with my b-day money, i want... |
AITA because I refused to go work in my dad's second job, so he could renovate the house? | so, that's a confusing headline but it's not that complicated. my dad got sick leave and my parents asked me to go to his second minijob instead of him, reasoning for this was that he can finish renovating the house. why do i need to go to his second work? he works for the same people and they accept that usually two o... | 549 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/kq9xi8/aita_because_i_refused_to_go_work_in_my_dads/ | 2021-01-04 14:38:14 | nta. you were being nice to your parents by agreeing to help, with the understanding that your dad would hold up his end of the bargain. he is not doing that. you're not an ah for refusing to go along with this. i'm assuming there's no health-related things keeping him from working around the house. | nta. you weren't getting paid and he wasn't doing what he was supposed to be doing. also, did they yell at your older sister as well or just you? | nta - you were getting played. | nta either way, but were you getting paid for it? or was he just getting you to do his work for him? | so your dad was still getting sick leave from job 1 and you were doing job 2 so he was still getting full pay for that...and he was having a holiday rather than the renovating that was the reason you agreed to cover for him in the first place?!?!
you are nta op. take a lesson from your big sister and say no next time.... | nta you know your limitations physically and if this favor is too taxing after working your actual job then you shouldn’t be doing it. i understand what it’s like to feel obligated to help family especially when they’re sick but you need to take care of yourself as well | nta and your dad is a piece of crap. | null | null | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | null | null | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: so, that's a confusing headline but it's not that complicated. my dad got sick... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
so, that's a confusing headline but it's not that complicated. my da... |
AITA for refusing to be my mom’s personal caretaker? | so my mother has been chronically ill her whole life, both physical and mental disabilities. i’ve spent a good portion of my life taking care of her, cleaning her house, running errands, etc. i’m nineteen, in school, and working a full time job. when i graduated high school my mother sent me an email with a link on how... | 829 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/p0txb5/aita_for_refusing_to_be_my_moms_personal_caretaker/ | 2021-08-09 04:04:53 | nta
you are 19. you are not supposed to sacrifice yourself for your parents. you are supposed to be building the foundation for your future.
you are their child, not a pre-made caretaker template.
there are resources out there for families who need assistance in situations like this. have them research those instead... | nta, you’re 19, you have took care of her most of your life already and you should be given a chance to live your own life and make your own decision. maybe your stepdad can be the caretaker, then maybe they don’t have to pay salary and won’t be bankrupt. | nta. it is literally the quite opposite of your job to take care of your mother. the parents are supposed to take care of you. sucks that she’s disabled, but that’s not your responsibility. | nta. you’re not acting “selfishly”. you’re being normal. your stepfather and mother are being monumentally selfish thinking you should put your life on hold to work for peanuts for them. the best gift you can give is your own independence. seriously. do you want to reach the age of 30 with the only thing you have to sh... | nta - so sorry they are trying to guilt trip you into this responsibility which is clearly not yours.
they are the ones who are selfish, you are young and just starting life with endless possibilities. why would they want to cheat you out of that?
remind your stepdad about the "for better or worse" commitment he mad... | nope, you are definitely nta. your stepdad and mom need to figure it out. in fact, they should have figured it out a long time ago instead of relying on you. it’s not right that they assumed that you would put your life on hold to be your mom’s caretaker. your mom can probably get disability assistance and possibly med... | nta, i beg you to not get sucked into that vortex. focus on stabilizing yourself and becoming financially independent instead of throwing away some of the most important years for personal/ self growth. | nta. you're their child, not their caretaker. some people can handle that amount if work, but some can't, and that's fine.
also, why isn't your stepdad taking care of her? isn't it supposed to be the spouse's job to be there for their partner "in sickness and in health?" if they have trouble with the cost, they may be... | nta, tell stepdad that he can either
1. get a job and check into assistance or
2. take care of her himself. | nta.
you need to get away from these people who call themselves your parents. they do not have your best interests at heart. | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: so my mother has been chronically ill her whole life, both physical and mental... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
so my mother has been chronically ill her whole life, both physical ... |
AITA for preventing my friend from seeing his newborn baby | this literally just happened so i’m still a bit emotional and waiting on my friend.
my friend stacy just gave birth to a baby boy. the baby’s father, justin, is currently an addict. when he and stacy started dating, he was 4 months sober but about a year ago (2 years into their relationship), he relapsed. he’s been p... | 2,700 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/io36dw/aita_for_preventing_my_friend_from_seeing_his/ | 2020-09-07 07:32:59 | nta - tell him to get clean and stay clean if he wants to be a father to his child. help him go to rehab or find other needed support if you want to help. | i've got a few addicts in my family. addiction is a hard, hard battle! they've stolen from everyone just to get a fix. there are times when they are sober and wonderful people, but there will always be times when they return to that substance.
you're nta for quite a few reasons:
1) you knew your friend was high and di... | nta none of this is up to you. its between justin and stacy. all you can do is listen and advise him to get healthy for his baby. point him in the right direction. | you're definitely nta for doing what your friend asked you to. that is a really tricky situation but i think that stacy should decide who can see her baby considering she just gave birth to them. hopefully, justin will get clean and stay clean so he can be a father to his child. | nta, addicts are addicts. i too fell in love with an addict and when they relapse they are not the same person. i can’t keep typing about that cause i’ll cry.
anyway, tell justin that when he wants to get clean again and turn back into himself he can meet his kid. in the meantime his kid isn’t going to meet some stru... | children are not emotional props for grown men. nta | nta. justin will have to decide if the drugs are more important than his child. | nta
i’m the daughter of an addict that overdosed when i was 4. my family was never tough on his issues and he had access to me often.
i loved him and his death devastated me, but my tiny toddler brain knew this man wasn’t my caretaker, i saw his lack of structure and respect for my mom. quite frankly he intimidated m... | the problem with many addicts is that they'll often lash out when confronted with the obstacles/consequences their addiction causes, or when they need to get their fix. he'll say whatever mean thing that comes to mind, because he's unable to look at himself.
when he's sober, he'll thank you. just realize that when ta... | nta and it is especially clear when you consider the alternatives.
"aita for pressuring my friend hours after labor to let her visibly high ex in to see their baby after she asked me to prevent him from coming in? he freaked out about their separation and terrified her and the baby." | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: this literally just happened so i’m still a bit emotional and waiting on my fr... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
this literally just happened so i’m still a bit emotional and waitin... |
AITA refusing to house my drug addict Sister-in-law and her Husband during a Hurricane | throw away account for obvious reasons.
&#x200b;
i'm married to a wonderful woman who is the love of my life. we have been married for several years now, and about 6 months ago, her oldest sister whom she hasn't spoken to or heard from for nearly 12 years suddenly came back into her life.
&#x200b;
her siste... | 569 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cx5k0g/aita_refusing_to_house_my_drug_addict_sisterinlaw/ | 2019-08-29 19:24:50 | nta but to compromise with your wife, could you spring for putting them up in a cheap motel for a night or two until the hurricane passes? | nta, people like this often know how to abuse tenancy laws and may refuse to leave after the hurricane. not worth the risk. also, the west coast is safer right now than orlando. | no nta
as a drug addict (weed), and i still say nta. if you wanna do drugs, that's fine, but have a least a bit of responsibility about it. dude got fired for using cocaine at work twice?!? yeah well... not your responsibility.
plus you did offer to take in the kids. you offered more than enough.
nta, not even a li... | nta
call cps on their asses | nta
&#x200b;
i like what another poster said about putting them up in a hotel. | nta..shelters will open up if the storm gets bad enough. all are welcome there. | nta this is your home and they are drug addicts. they could've easily avoided this struggle for simply not doing drugs but nope. their struggle is their responsibility. | nta , fuck em, if it was a one time thing maybe , but continued drug abuse is another story. hell . no. | null | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | null | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: throw away account for obvious reasons. &#x200b; i'm married to a wonderfu... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
throw away account for obvious reasons. &#x200b; i'm married to ... |
AITA for calling my (16F) mother a "fucking control freak" when she called my friend (16M) and told him to cut contact with me? | hello reddit,
i have a friend who we can call m. m and i are both chinese-americans, and we've been friends for about 5 years. m has been there for me through some really difficult times and is one of my closest friends. the issue is that my mother absolutely despises m. when asked why, she cites the following reaso... | 792 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hk1r8j/aita_for_calling_my_16f_mother_a_fucking_control/ | 2020-07-02 17:51:27 | nta. she has no right to go through your phone and block your friends without permission. also the reasons she cited for hating the guy are so dumb. nta at all. | nta.
as a matter of fact she is a control freak, and a pretty crappy person too.
tell her just this: "the tighter the leash, the further i'll run when it snaps." | nta. your mother is being intensely controlling and your father is defending that behaviour. university/later life is going to be a struggle as she won't like losing control.
also the comments about "studying like an asian should" and "stain/disgrace to asian people" are deeply, deeply disturbing.
controlling paren... | nta, i understand your frustration because my mother was born and raised in asia, and her cultural background caused a lot of strain on my life and childhood growing up here as well. i can’t give you proper advice because i honestly became extremely rebellious and don’t know any better solutions. somehow she has to com... | if she's trying to protect you from bad people why hasn't she left yet
nta | nta
this is the kind of cultural pressure i hope you are able to leave behind.
your mother is manipulative and mean to you - this does not change with her having 'only your best in mind'.
she willingly makes you unhappy in the present for a better future, that is not guaranteed. that is never okay. don't sacrifice you... | nta, your mother's behavior is the exact stereotype of overbearing control freak asian mom. the only thing she's protecting you from is a social life. she has no right to decide who your friends with if they're not literally doing drugs or horrible things.
the small eyes joke he made probably wasn't meant to other hi... | nta, yeah you're right about your mom being a control freak. you should be allowed to hang out with your friend, and she's getting involved for no reason. she also shouldn't be going through your phone to block people, and she shouldn't be calling people to cut contact with them. that's a violation of your privacy, and... | nta
that's going way too far on your mother's part unless she actively has a reason to think he's dangerous to you, which isn't the indication i got from this.
rather she sounded rather elitist in her reasoning, and very controlling, definitely not okay to go as far as to contact a 16 year-old kid. what the heck? | nta - i have a small suspicion that the concerns are less about the reasons your mother stated and more about the fact that you're two teenagers of the opposite sex and she sees that as a threat. your fam sucks for behaving this way. | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: hello reddit, i have a friend who we can call m. m and i are both chinese-amer... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
hello reddit, i have a friend who we can call m. m and i are both ch... |
AITA for being done with my sister and not wanting to help her? | i (20f) have a sister (18f) who has a habit of getting herself into trouble with other people because she is pretty mean and/or insensitive. for example: when she was 12 she was partnered with a girl in her class who had learning disabilities. she was complaining to her friends that she was doing most of the work and i... | 1,139 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/kyhstf/aita_for_being_done_with_my_sister_and_not/ | 2021-01-16 12:04:21 | nta. your sister sound like she is happy to poo on people emotionally, but not accept responsibility for the consequences of her actions. | nta. you're right, she needs to learn. and it sounds like your parents were enabling her behaviour | nta. don't have her at your place. it will cause more trouble for sure. something will happen and you'll be brought into her mess. she might need help but it shouldn't be from you, why is she so awful to people? did something happen to her? | nta. even if she didn’t have a history of treating people badly, you’re not under any obligation to live with her - many people don’t want to live with their siblings once they leave their family home. she may just need to learn to be kinder and to a new roommate. | lol no, nta this girl needs to learn some accountability and fix her attitude. people can't fix her mistakes for her forever, especially when she can't fix her attitude to *stop* said mistakes | id tell my parents no and her too, and the fact nobody wants to live with her is a natural consequence of her being two faced and being consistently nasty to people for a reaction. she isnt getting in life because people don't like her, and you won't live with someone that troublesome because your focus is your studies... | nta actions have consequences and she needs to learn that nobody is going to want to be around a bully. | nta your sister needs to learn about consequences, and she never will if you're always there to bail her out. | nta
she needs to grow up and realise you can't fix every relationship she breaks. she need to learn to be a nicer person. | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i (20f) have a sister (18f) who has a habit of getting herself into trouble wi... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i (20f) have a sister (18f) who has a habit of getting herself into ... |
AITA: refusing to “get over” something my sister did | my sister (37)f and i (30)f have not spoken in about four years currently, i talk to our middle sister pretty regularly and she always insists life is short/it’s been so long/i want to see you both an array of different ways of telling me to end the fight. i’ve told her i’m still upset about what could’ve happened and ... | 710 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/t61pf3/aita_refusing_to_get_over_something_my_sister_did/ | 2022-03-03 21:05:15 | nta. you are not holding a grudge. you had a legitimate safety concern and your sister knowingly disrespected the boundaries that you had in place to keep your children happy, health and safe. what if her bf had been a creep? you are being a responsible parent. | oh hhheeeellllll nooooooooooooo!
i have 3 daughters and i don't want them to sleep over at anyone's house. for your sister to not tell you that a guy you never met lives there??? that's fucked up!
you have the right as a parent to get all information before putting your daughters in any situation.
fuck your sister. ... | info has she tried to apologise in this last 4 years? | esh. it’s been four years and nothing happened to your daughter. you’re upset about what could have happened but if nothing did, i think it’s time you let it go. holding a grudge isn’t a good thing. | i mean i get it, but to cut your sister out of your life for this seems a little much, especially considering nothing happened. i would never trust her alone with your daughter again, but again, to go no contact seems like a lot. esh | info- did you tell her that when your daughter over she can't have anyone else over. | no judgement because there just isn’t enough details here. your feelings are 100% valid — i would flip my entire shit if someone had a strange man overnight with my kid without telling me. that’s just not okay.
that said, it sounds like it was a one time thing four years ago. i’m not saying go hang out with sis one o... | esh
yes what she did was wrong but the way this was worded i thought something *really* horrible was going to happen to your daughter. instead you are just holding a grudge.
let it go, elsa. | > for backstory my oldest sister took my daughter for a sleepover, during the time she had a boyfriend who i hadn’t met, my fiancé hadn’t met either, and i didn’t know he was already living with her. if i had known i would’ve told my sister we weren’t (as her parents) comfortable with her going over with someone we ... | yta. this is not an issue to be angry about for four years. i thought maybe your child had been molested or something with you holding a grudge for four freaking years.
by your own omission, nothing untoward happened during the sleepover correct? i would assume your sister was present the whole time? like what is t... | NTA | null | INFO | ESH | ESH | INFO | null | ESH | INFO | YTA | 0.366725 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: my sister (37)f and i (30)f have not spoken in about four years currently, i t... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
my sister (37)f and i (30)f have not spoken in about four years curr... |
AITA for telling my wife about her speeding fine | i will preface this by saying i am a horrible passenger since i had a car accident 8 years ago. ever since then, i hate being a passenger.
my wife and i both drive cars that i lease through my work. i have recently been having issues with kidney stones and have been in and out of hospital, so she has been driving. nu... | 567 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/uiwst9/aita_for_telling_my_wife_about_her_speeding_fine/ | 2022-05-05 12:54:21 | nta
she was speeding so its her fault and needs to be accountable for it.
if she gets too distracted when driving to either notice the speak limit or how fast she is driving, should she really be driving?
being distracted wouldn't be a good excuse if she were to be pulled over by the police for speeding, or if she g... | nta, she was caught speeding and it shouldn’t go against you.
also her response would have been the same if you told her or she got it in the mail, but if she found out you knew and didn’t tell her it probably would be worse | nta. she's the one that got the ticket, so i think she should know she got it - at the very least to just try and avoid speeding in that area (if not completely - although tbh she sounds like me, so it's unlikely she'll stop alltogether). | nta. maybe this will be a wake up call. | nta. this is just the consequences of her actions and maybe she’ll see that what she’s doing is unsafe. don’t make excuses for her. put her name down and let her pay for it. | nah on the speeding ticket but... is this generally how you communicate with your wife? set a trap and then go on your merry way when she passes your test? i couldn't imagine presenting this situation to my partner like you did. i'd simply state: hey, work flagged this speeding and i need to name names for the ticket. ... | nta. in no universe are you the ah. she needed someone other than you to tell her she’s wrong. | nta she was speeding & u called her out on it multiple times! there’s no reason u should coddle her now, she needs to take responsibility. i get being distracted by hard times but driving is a time u really need to focus or accidents may happen! | nta. in the uk it is an offence to take a penalty notice, fine etc for someone else. i also drive a company car for work. if i have speeding fines it could impact on my job security as we are required to have a full clean licence. i was in the same situation with my boyfriend. i explained work policies and he had to ta... | nta. she's speeding drastically and could seriously hurt someone (either her passengers or others on the road) you absolutely should call her out on it and you should *not* take the blame for her. she is a reckless driver. the fact that she's been driving longer than you is irrelevant. she obviously does need someone t... | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NAH | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0.000375 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i will preface this by saying i am a horrible passenger since i had a car acci... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i will preface this by saying i am a horrible passenger since i had ... |
AITA for "Unnecessarily" yelling at my stepfather? | for context, i'm a 15 year old girl.
two weeks ago, a new order was unveiled by a judge for a long-time custody dispute over me and my twin sister. last year, we lived equally at my mom's house and my dad's house. it completely changed when my stepfather, we'll call him dave, married my mom. we moved an hour away from... | 193 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/w32jq5/aita_for_unnecessarily_yelling_at_my_stepfather/ | 2022-07-19 20:25:05 | nta. i don't know the whole situation with the custody battle so there's a chance they might have a valid reason to want to know about you communicating with your grandmother, but your mom and dave are ahs for violating your privacy via snooping. no one deserves to have their conversations monitored that closely. | nta, in reading through responses, i'm getting the feeling that there's some parental alienation going on here spearheaded by dave. it seems very strange that the judge would allow them to go from 50/50 to supervised without some proof of abuse. but this dude is invading your privacy and isolating you from your exten... | nta - you can write the court notifying them that dave is searching places he shouldn't be in. that he is reading your correspondence. make sure they know you feel unsafe. this is the first step in getting rid of him. | **info**
* how long ago were your parents divorced?
* how long has your step-father been part of the mix?
* does your twin have similar problems with your step-father? | holy moly nta. you have every right to yell at this man for his invasive and controlling behavior.
however, what you said about your dad going from joint custody to 2 hour supervised visits is worrying. do you know if there is a particular reason why your dad lost almost all his custody privileges? | nta - not even close.
here is something you should know. most courts have advocates for youth that are available to you for free. you can call (borrow a friends phone so the number doesn’t show up on mom’s bill.) express to the advocate that your mom is attempting to alienate you from your father andyour grand parent... | info why is time with your father now supervised? | null | null | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | INFO | NTA | NTA | INFO | null | null | null | 0.036878 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: for context, i'm a 15 year old girl. two weeks ago, a new order was unveiled b... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
for context, i'm a 15 year old girl. two weeks ago, a new order was ... |
AITA for opening/reading my spouse’s credit card statement? | my (30f) wife (34f) and i have joint finances. i am a full time student about to graduate and i also work in the field i am studying at the moment. i accepted a per diem position with a little higher earning potential this may with the mutual agreement that i would be making payments towards my student debt with a port... | 201 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zzwa8a/aita_for_openingreading_my_spouses_credit_card/ | 2022-12-31 15:18:51 | nta
she's an alcoholic. her losing it on you, like that, is only the beginning. | nta your wife is gaslighting you and very likely has a shopping addiction. if it’s a household bill that you are paying then you have every right to open it regardless of whose name is on the account. | nta.
joined finances --> you have to explain your expenses, also no privacy in them.
would be another matter if you didn't have jonied finances, now that would have been a violation of privacy.
but the deal breaker is in the first line of the post.
the only manipulative, shitty person in here is you... | your wife is an alcoholic. all issues come back to that point.
please encourage her to seek treatment.
nta. | nta
while it's technically illegal in some places to open another person's mail without permission, you have special circumstances here such as:
1. it's your spouse
2. you have joint finances
3. she said you can look at her statements at any time.
there is a legitimate case to be made that you thought you had permiss... | pay your student loan bills first and tell her to pay her own credit card if she doesn’t want you to know what she uses it for. she’s wanting to have her cake and eat it too. nope, hard no.
she needs aa pronto, or there’s no hope here. she will destroy your credit because your loans are not paid back in time, steal f... | yikes! not a very happy anniversary.
at this point esh because you are both ignoring the bigger picture. you & your wife are in serious debt & your wife is drinking every day. no one is addressing these problems. reading her statement is the least of your issues. going to dinner, spending for new year’s, gett... | nta. but you need to work on separating your finances. and please go to alanon to get some help coping with your wife’s alcoholism. | nta
you’re paying the bill and have joint finances. you have every right to know what is going on.
sounds like your bigger problems are her alcoholism and reluctance to face any truth. see how she just turned it around on you, tried to blame and manipulate you? those are all common tactics of addiction.
this might b... | > her complaint is that i’m “a liar, manipulative, and untrustworthy”
classic projection. she's the one who's being manipulative and untrustworthy.
if your name is on it, it is your right and your duty to ensure you're aware of the expenses incurred.
if your name is not on it, i suggest you merely stop paying to... | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | ESH | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0.013095 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: my (30f) wife (34f) and i have joint finances. i am a full time student about ... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
my (30f) wife (34f) and i have joint finances. i am a full time stud... |
AITA for getting pissed at my husband about naming our baby? | hi all. i (25f) am currently 5 months pregnant with my second son. my husband (28m) is a religious man, this is only relevant for the baby names. my husband picked the name for our first child. its a religious prophets name but it isnt bad and its has grown on me now that our first is almost 3. this wasn't the plan tho... | 146 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/c8owsd/aita_for_getting_pissed_at_my_husband_about/ | 2019-07-03 14:42:58 | nta but you seem to have issues with standing up for yourself | nta he sounds very controlling honestly. who does he think he is getting to decide what your kids names are on his own? you’re the one carrying and birthing the baby. without you he’d have no sons. my friends aren’t religious so they don’t have these rules but they decided happily together out of excitement and didn’t... | nta just put whatever name you want on the birth certificate. he got his choice once thats plenty. | > my husband picked the name for our first child. its a religious prophets name
> he doesn't like old timey names.
so...your first born is the great prophet kaydyn, peace be unto him? | nta. time to play that good old "but i carried this baby and that other one over there for 9 months" card you were saving for a special occasion. i know, i know it's early but you still have the the "dried ass cracked nipples" and "stretch marks" one.
jokes aside, he's being too picky and unreasonable. you gotta settl... | nta. is he this weird and controlling about other aspects of your life? | nah, though i was tempted to vote your husband the asshole because you said he'd accept naming his kid piccolo. that's just awful.
it's important for both parents to like the name of their child. there should be unlimited vetos. unfortunately the names you two like seem to exist in different galaxies, so it's taking y... | nta- you're a team and you should both be involved. | nta. he needs to discuss and agree. naming a baby is not for one parent to decide and ignore the other parents thoughts | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | NTA | NTA | NAH | NTA | NTA | null | 0.000646 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: hi all. i (25f) am currently 5 months pregnant with my second son. my husband ... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
hi all. i (25f) am currently 5 months pregnant with my second son. m... |
AITA for getting a coworker in trouble after revealing their time theft? | so i work at a store that rhymes with mal-mart. i am 18 and the coworker i'm talking about is in their 50s.
at my store, and more specifically my department, there's a handful of people who decide to stop working 30min-1 hour before their shift actually ends. they hide in the breakroom and none of the managers seem to... | 329 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ufqqj0/aita_for_getting_a_coworker_in_trouble_after/ | 2022-05-01 03:10:20 | nta. fully walked into this expecting to say the opposite, because it’s wally world and screw them and their starvation wages. but since it seems it was accidental, i think you’re in the clear. | if you had went up to your manager and specifically told on them i’d say yta bc who really gives a shit, it’s fucking walmart nobody cares. but since it was accidental, nta. just unfortunate timing | nta. you only called him out when he singled you out for your age. it's his fault that he got in trouble for doing something he accused you of. | nta. your co-worker was committing time theft, and as such, really should have kept their own mouth shut. breaking workplace rules like that comes with risks, and as such, if they got in trouble, it's on them. it also sounds like they committed harassment by cornering in you the backroom to complain, and you might want... | nta. i used to work there too and it was awful. so many boomers made rude comments towards me, not to mention how the customers treated me. i do not miss the place. also, it sounds like your asshole coworker got what they deserved. | nta it's called integrity, lots of folks don't have it | nta
but be careful around this person. i wouldn't want to be alone around them for a while. hopefully, they get over it once they get over their "warning" or write-up or whatever happened.
i'd steer clear, and if they start harassing you, don't be afraid to actually go to your manager (or find a new / better job). | no, you did the right thing, even if you were tired as hell. | nta for clapping back at your coworker. he was looking for it. fact that the manager happened to be there isn’t your problem.
but
yta for using the phrase “time theft.” that’s management bullshit. i guarantee you that company is stealing from you and exploiting you in a thousand little ways every goddamn day. they’r... | nta if they didn't do things that are wrongful then they wouldn't get in trouble. did you force them to avoid their job? no, thats dumb, they chose to and they got caught. | NTA | YTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | NTA | NTA | 0.031039 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: so i work at a store that rhymes with mal-mart. i am 18 and the coworker i'm t... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
so i work at a store that rhymes with mal-mart. i am 18 and the cowo... |
WIBTAH if I told my neighbor his kids couldn’t play on our land anymore? | in our neighborhood everyone has a few acres of forest land. my neighbors decided to use the flat land in front of their house for an addition and garage, building right to our property line. they have plenty of their own land behind their house though. we had a survey done recently which made us realize how much of ou... | 2,566 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ep9wbx/wibtah_if_i_told_my_neighbor_his_kids_couldnt/ | 2020-01-15 22:47:57 | nta. actually you should definitely get things like the trampoline off your land - that is a huge insurance liability.
there's an old saying "fences make good neighbors". separate your land asap. | nta...its your land you pay for.....put up a fence!!!! | nta. you better get on top of that because if you don't they will have a solid [adverse possession](https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/adverse-possession-trespassers-become-owners-46934.html) claim on the land and you could lose it. | nta, get a survey done and put stakes in. tell them they need to relocate toys and trampolines to their side. you don’t even have to put in a fence, instead put a few bushes or a flower bed along the line. you can tell them that you’ve decided to add some landscaping and wanted to clear up what land belongs to whom be... | nta. if they're using a trampoline on your land you need to get that shit off of there right away. not sure where you live but here in the us most homeowners insurance policies don't cover injuries from trampolines and if it's on your side of the property line there's a good chance you could be held liable if one of th... | nta
get some markers to show where the property line is. | nta get the trampoline and toys off your property. it's a genuine liability issue that you should have certified letters demanding their removal in case anyone gets hurt. it's not being petty.
petty is mentioning in the letters that you know they will understand the dire need of immediacy. they are excellent neighbors... | nta
you'd be surprised at how willing those neighbors would be to sue you if one of their family were to injure themselves on your property.
a lot of insurance companies won't insure a trampoline injury because they're injury laden liabilities.
you definitely need a copy of your survey from the county you live in (t... | nta. please please get that trampoline off your property. i would put up a fence if i were you. if one of their kids gets hurt in your land you are deemed responsible. if you du ask them to please get their stuff off the land, make sure it’s documented ie: registered mail, or an email or text that you ... | nta- in fact, letting kids jump on a trampoline on your property is a lawsuit waiting to happing. i would build a fence if i was you. | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: in our neighborhood everyone has a few acres of forest land. my neighbors deci... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
in our neighborhood everyone has a few acres of forest land. my neig... |
AITA for calling my SiL a worthless poc? | 5,613 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/vedami/aita_for_calling_my_sil_a_worthless_poc/ | 2022-06-17 13:33:49 | nta.
ultimately she put a 6 year old in charge of her 2 year old. whether or not she was expected to be rational after he was in a dangerous situation, *she* is the one who endangered her child. and then she took it out on your child, who was probably terrified at all the screaming and things with your nephew.
how... | nta
“it’s ridiculous to expect a woman who almost lost her child to be rational”
yeah well i think it’s equally ridiculous to expect a parent who’s just witnessed an out of control woman verbally abuse their 6 year old to be rational. | nta - it is not your six year olds responsibility to watch a two-year old. she "almost" lost her daughter because of her negligence. | nta, she neglected her kid and wanted someone to blame that wasn’t her or her husband.
also, just a heads up, poc typically refers to “person of color” not “piece of crap.” so…really thought this story was gonna go differently. | [removed] | nta. i get her stress, but no one expects a little girl to be in charge of swimming. | nta - your sil is a major ah and a neglectful parent. expecting a 6 yr old who is obviously being a 6 yr old and making sand/drip castles to be a lifeguard for her child is absurd! | this is like letting a horse watch a dog and keep her out of trouble. nta, but definitely keep an eye on that sil and her relationship with your daughter. irrational adults pick on/exclude/traumatize kids all the time and it goes under the radar. | [removed] | i was in the position of your daughter once.
i was four, and tasked with watching my brother who was two. brother climbed and fell and got really hurt and almost gouged his eye out. i can still hear my parents screaming horrible things at me over it.
that was the moment where a single adult defending me would’ve cur... | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
[/INST] nta. ultimately she put a 6 year old in charge of her 2 yea... | |
AITA for asking for pocket money because "I am a kid too" | i am 19f, have a little brother who is 8, and living with my parents at the moment. i am still studying so i cannot pay rent yet, but i do earn my own pocket money from part-time jobs.
my father's 3 brothers and their family came to our town for a vacation for 3 days over the weekend. they have not met for years so i... | 25,752 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/d2mewl/aita_for_asking_for_pocket_money_because_i_am_a/ | 2019-09-11 07:31:06 | nta
it is kinda in poor taste considering you do work, but they conveniently categorize you as a child or adult based on their needs. need a free babysitter? kid. handing out pocket money to children? now you’re an adult. it was the adultier adults here who were assholes. they used you for free childcare when they cou... | nta
either they pay you pocket money for being a kid, or they pay you a hourly rate for being a babysitter. their choice. | i-n-f-o: were you paid for your babysitting duties? | >deliberately made my parents lose face
no, their allowing you to be treated unfairly for their benefit made them lose face. nta, and thanks for the laugh! | hahahaha nta at all! that was a boss move! parents have the worst double standards, always extra critical when it comes to our responsibilities once we turn adults, but in the same vein when we demand our rights, suddenly we are just children again! yes, you embarrassed your parents and relatives, but honestly, they de... | nta
lol. they got what they had coming.
but i wouldn't have asked for pocket money. i would have asked prior to the event to be paid per hour for babysitting. if they had refused then you could have declined doing it. | nta. go to your parents and apologise and say you'll also apologise to your uncles and return the pocket money... if they pay your babysitting bill. and show them how much the babysitting would have cost, broken down by cost per hour per child. show them this thread to let them know they are guilty of major double-stan... | hahaha nta at all, you should have asked for more considering they worked you all weekend. well played | yta
a beautiful, well thought out asshole, but an asshole nonetheless.
i applaud what you did. it is exactly what you parents, aunts, and uncles deserved, but let's make no mistake, you were intentionally an asshole. it was a truly brilliant move.
in life there are moments when being an asshole is necessary. this wa... | nta. they got free babysitting and clearly don’t respect you. it’s such a pet peeve when people blatantly flip the kid/adult switch with the teens/yas in their lives according to whichever benefits them most at that moment. | NTA | NTA | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | YTA | NTA | 0.031039 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i am 19f, have a little brother who is 8, and living with my parents at the mo... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i am 19f, have a little brother who is 8, and living with my parents... |
AITA for telling my 7 YO niece, who doesn't do what she's told, that this is why people yell at her? | because honestly i do feel kind of bad for it. i was watching my nieces, and the oldest, 7, has very selective hearing. she almost never does what she's told, even up to the point that her parents, grandparents, and aunts get frustrated and raise their voice at her. she usually gets really upset at that point, and... | 806 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/qefk02/aita_for_telling_my_7_yo_niece_who_doesnt_do_what/ | 2021-10-23 22:57:03 | nta, her parents are. sounds like her parents haven’t enforced any real consequences for her failure to listen, so she knows she can get away with ignoring people | nta you explained the link between consequences and actions and it got through to her.
you didn't yell, you didn't target her self but rather her behaviour, and how to change it. sounds good to me.
you can follow that up with a gentler conversation if you think she's feeling hurt and reiterate that *she* is loved, an... | nta. it sounds like something she needed to hear when she was ready to hear it. has she been evaluated for hearing and attention disorders? | nta. there’s nothing to feel bad about. you didn’t yell at her, you explained why she should listen in a way she understood. given her reaction, it sounds like you got through to her and hopefully she won’t forget it. better she get it from you now than go through life always being yelled at and not understanding the r... | nta sometimes the truth hurts but it needs saying.
i use to watch a little girl who wad 3/4 and she would ignore you the first couple times you asked. then, without looking at you, would start saying things "are you talking? i cant hear you. why arent you talking?" ect....
took me a minute to realize she knew exact... | info: does she actually hear you? | nta. she doesn’t like how adults interact with her and it’s a good thing for her to understand that their actions are a result of her misbehaviour.
i do however hope you wrapped the interaction up with some praise for doing the right thing in the end. | info: has she ever had her hearing tested? or is she only 'ignoring' people in certain circumstances? generally i'd think a child her age would protest or say something when getting told to do something she doesn't want to do, not just stay silent | slight yta. it seems she knows people yell at her and she doesn’t like or understand. has anyone gotten her assessed to make sure she doesn’t have another condition such as adhd. ultimately though yelling is not the right way to correct bad behavior. nor is telling her “see this is why people yell at you.” there i... | nta. it sounds like she doesn't understand why adults raise their voices, which is really unfortunate. | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | INFO | NTA | INFO | YTA | NTA | 0.106132 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: because honestly i do feel kind of bad for it. i was watching my nieces, and t... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
because honestly i do feel kind of bad for it. i was watching my nie... |
AITA for letting my daughters speak Spanish around the house? | my husband and i have been fostering maya (8f) and juliana (6f) for almost 2 years and are in the process of adopting them. maya's and juliana's first language is spanish and both girls are more comfortable speaking spanish than english and prefer to speak spanish when they're with us.
i'm not fluent in spanish but i... | 3,690 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ps0xkd/aita_for_letting_my_daughters_speak_spanish/ | 2021-09-20 18:39:29 | nta. your husband is, though. your daughters' first language is spanish and it's an important and valuable part of their heritage.
he should be trying to learn the language himself, not trying to take their culture away from them. | your husband is ta. keep encouraging those girls to speak spanish and english! learning multiple languages is so great for people and at such a young age. | nta - you are working hard to make sure the girls you are fostering are comfortable and are supporting them keeping in touch with their culture. you've even tried to compromise by agreeing that you'll speak english around him.
your husband is an asshat. i know languages can be hard, but he's not making any effort a... | nta
i get that your husband is frustrated hearing everyone else in the house speak a language that he doesn’t. you know what the mature response is, though? he can learn it. he has had two years with them in his house. at the very least he could trouble to learn their language a little (good morning, how are you, how ... | nta but your husband is.
being bilingual is a huge advantage for anyone. if he wants to understand what it being said in his house at all times, then he can learn spanish.
having those books in two languages helped them learn english. just as having pictures in the books helps kids learn to read. when they are o... | nta. the only good people here are you and the girls. the girls are going through a massive transition of being without family, or a home, and it's wonderful that you're fostering them. but since you've now discovered your husband is a massive xenophobe i guess you have two choices.
1) stop the adoption process and le... | nta. your husband should have never adopted them if he wasn’t going to let the speak spanish though. it is a part of who they are and their ancestors. my husband’s mother is japanese and his dad wanted her to work on her english so she never could speak japanese at home. my husband so wishes he could have learned the l... | nta
&#x200b;
your husband wants to adopt - but he is not even ready to learn another language for it. | esh
because you are adopting minority kids while your husband is a raging racist who wants to eliminate their culture. trans-racial adoptions are difficult for everyone but in this case it's going to be damaging for the kids long term. | nta-
wtf? he gets mad that they speak their first language? that does not sound right at all. you’re right to get mad at him, he wouldn’t be very happy if he got told he couldn’t speak his primary language so i don’t understand why he thinks it’s okay to do it to your girls. good luck op! | NTA | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | ESH | NTA | 0.013095 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: my husband and i have been fostering maya (8f) and juliana (6f) for almost 2 y... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
my husband and i have been fostering maya (8f) and juliana (6f) for ... |
AITA for refusing to pay my parents the scholarship money given to me by our church? | 21ftm. i was adopted by not only two well-meaning parents, but an entire congregation of evangelical lutherans. i learned that as a christian, i am to be kind, giving, and accepting of others. and those philosophies have earned me many wonderful friends and makes me feel fulfilled.
however, i also happened to be a clo... | 307 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/v498bk/aita_for_refusing_to_pay_my_parents_the/ | 2022-06-03 21:14:37 | nta. pretty sure scholarships are to be used for school stuff. you did the right thing.
also, your parents aren't christian. they're bigots hiding behind a religion and a god that they disrespect. | nta i dont know what your church's stance on trans people but i can guarantee that you are living a more christian lifestyle in being a good person in society than your parents are for being bigots. tuition is expensive. keep the money | >now they're not talking to me unless they need something
do you see the imbalance here? they expect you to be giving, helpful and respectful to them, but refuse any of of that for you. they are not christians and will be very surprised at what's coming to them after they die.
edit if you chose to continue talki... | nta. that scholarships money is meant for you, not them. i could maybe see them asking you to return that money to the church if they think you aren’t representing the church properly so another student can receive those funds. they are being greedy and selfish, also they aren’t following in the teachings of jesus when... | christianity doesn't condone discrimination or theft. they just want the money. | nta. you are a credit to your family and community, be happy and live well. | nta.
you’re the student and the scholarship is for you. i can’t believe your parents would try to take that from you.
“thou shalt not steal.” | nta. the scholarship money was meant for you. | nta...and not to split hairs, but tithe is 10%, your parents are overpaying . i suspect they're also misled about a lot of what god/christianity mean once you take the "church madness" out of the equation.
absolutely keep the scholarship, you don't "owe" parents anything, they need to cut back their tithing! | null | NTA | NTA | null | NTA | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: 21ftm. i was adopted by not only two well-meaning parents, but an entire congr... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
21ftm. i was adopted by not only two well-meaning parents, but an en... |
AITA for continuing to accept extra help from my ex and his family even though his fiancée doesn’t like it? | i have a 4 yo daughter with my ex. i would say we have a pretty great co-parenting relationship and he and his family have helped me more than i would’ve expected them to. he’s engaged now and his fiancée “laura” isn’t the biggest fan of mine.
i know she’s told him she doesn’t like how much he helps me and she expects... | 3,159 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/skf1ph/aita_for_continuing_to_accept_extra_help_from_my/ | 2022-02-04 14:49:43 | nta - she's being incredily insecure and petty. he's taking care of his child. you will both always be there, so she needs to get over it. mive out of your apartment?! no. i hope she treats your daughter right when you're not around. the only part i could agree with cutting out would be you going on family vacations wi... | nta - unfortunately for laura, his child and you come with him. i don't think you need to stop having a positive co-parenting relationship bc she feels threatened. you'll always be in her life if she decides to go through with the marriage.
i would actually have a talk with your ex and let him know what she said. ther... | i'm going to go against the grain here. yta. i think it's fully reasonable that she's uncomfortable with this.
it sounds like he's completely supporting you financially, paying for all of your living expenses and then some. he should be paying child support, but you should otherwise support yourself as an adult.
fa... | nta, you need to set a hard boundary here. she has no business speaking to you about this at all. | was all ready to say no way are you an asshole… but some of her requests may be reasonable! if you don’t concede a few things then you aren’t being fair. also, wtf does your ex think?! isn’t this his shit to deal with?
1. if the money is for your daughter or for the home, accept it.
2. stay where you are, this is to m... | nta
the nerve! she should be happy to have a man like him. they way he and his family treat you is wonderful. i really hope that he dumps her because she sounds like trouble. | esh. laura should just move on. no woman should have to have the ‘ex’ up in her face as much as her current fiancé and his family seem to think appropriate. you’re not at fault really except that you don’t seem to be willing to built much of an independent life. | nta - your ex husband is maintaining a quality relationship with you and his daughter. she’s definitely ta here. i hope you gently let him know what she did so he can manage that relationship.
she’s jealous and that won’t serve anyone in the long run. | esh
the fiancee is not wrong. some of these are not things you should be doing without the fiance's permission, mainly -
*
stop going on family vacations with him
*
stop attending events his family host
you share a child, so any financials that your husband direct for your daughter's welfare only (be that cash,... | okay i feel like i'm going crazy with ahh the n t a here because to me it's a clearcut esh.
financially and with the apartment? no problem whatsoever for him to keep helping. if he's comfortable with that and y'all are considering it child support then she shouldn't be asking him to stop-particularly because it sound... | NTA | NTA | YTA | NTA | YTA | NTA | ESH | NTA | ESH | NTA | 0.427172 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i have a 4 yo daughter with my ex. i would say we have a pretty great co-paren... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i have a 4 yo daughter with my ex. i would say we have a pretty grea... |
AITA for keeping a dog I adopted with a man I only dated for 8 months? | to be clear, i adopted the dog 4 months into the relationship. we both signed the rescue association paperwork, but i paid the adoption fee (so legally the dog is mine). he is claiming “damages” for treats and toys he bought for the dog, and is planning to litigate if i don’t pay him $1000 and give him two hours with t... | 394 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/k17rfs/aita_for_keeping_a_dog_i_adopted_with_a_man_i/ | 2020-11-26 03:49:57 | nta.
give him nothing. if he sues you, you must respond lest a default judgement be issued against you. chances are a judge will laugh in his face. worst case scenario you might need to pay him a few bucks for treats, but surely not $1000.
> and give him two hours with the dog to “say goodbye.”
you'll never se... | nta. legally it sounds like you’re 100% in the right here. plus where did he get that bogus figure of $1000? is that how much he says he spent on toys and treats in 4 months?? | nta run and take the dog with you. two hours to say goodbye? sounds like he wants a chance to take her. also, legally it only matters who’s name is in the vet ppw or licence information. | what the fuck? he pressed charges bc of this dog and you only dated 8 months?? info | nta, it’s your damn dog lol. i’d almost be wanting him to sue since you can prove the dog was yours. it’d get laughed out of court. | nta.
your ex is ridiculous.
is he also going to sue you for any good he bought you while dating? | nta
switch everything to your name (license, vet, etc.) and call his bluff by going no contact. he’s doing this to try and control you, not bc he cares about the dog. | info: how much of the dog's expenses were taken care of by him? | nta - and he's insane. i have 3 large dogs and i spend $265/mo on toys, treats, and food for all three dogs. i have a recurring subscribe and save order so i know how much they cost me. that's 2 -30lb bags of food, 24 cans of wet food, 2 cases of canned pumpkin, 2 bags of duck jerky, 2 bags of sausage treats, 3 - bully... | tell him to bring you all the receipts for toys/treats etc and pay him however much he can prove he spent. no way he spent $1000 on treats and stuff in only 8 months | NTA | NTA | NTA | INFO | NTA | NTA | NTA | INFO | NTA | null | 0.02053 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: to be clear, i adopted the dog 4 months into the relationship. we both signed ... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
to be clear, i adopted the dog 4 months into the relationship. we bo... |
AITA for potentially firing/kicking out my abusive adult son knowing he might become homeless? | he graduated from a prestigious university and is extremely ambitious, but he got into drugs in high school and became a complete heroin addict after college, which got him fired his dream job and ruined his work prospects. after that, we put him through several rehabs and invited him back home to start over. my husban... | 175 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/c8ashx/aita_for_potentially_firingkicking_out_my_abusive/ | 2019-07-02 15:45:09 | nta. it sounds like you are actually enabling him. it's time for tough love. do suggest he goes to recovery but if he refuses then it's tough love time. | > he's in his thirties
nta. he's clearly a competent person when he's not abusing substances, and he's old enough to take responsibility for himself. he won't change while he's living at your home, getting away with anything he wants and not having to own up to his shortcomings and address them. tough love requir... | nta. i have a cousin who’s just like this and sadly there’s nothing you can do to change him. | **nta**
&#x200b;
* he is an adult. he should be taking care of himself.
* he has made his own decisions and now has to live with the consequences.
* you have tried to help him but he refuses to change.
* he has a university degree. if he tried, he could probably get a job that at least will not allow him to star... | nta - you have to set boundaries. have too. drug addicts are something i don't understand. i don't have experience with them. but i do understand needing to be in a safe and healthy environment. he is an adult, if he threatens your livelihood and safety, you have to set boundaries. | nta - it sounds like you've done everything you can do, it's time to cut him loose. if you keep tolerating his behavior, what reason does he have to change?
however, i would seek counseling for yourself and husband, or join a group like nar-anon. there are other's who have had to go through the same experience and ... | nta. you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves. recovery is hard, but you have to want it. if he isn’t trying you don’t need to feel unsafe in your own home. it’s harsh, but kicking him out might make him realize he needs to work on things.
never feel bad for not enabling someone and taking your pers... | nta. but your should get some legal advice because, if your home has also been his primary home, you might need to evict him. | nta
maybe give him a final warning/ultimatum? maybe it's the final straw that will make him see sense. failing that, he's old enough to not be living at home. he needs to step up and take responsibility for his own actions. | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: he graduated from a prestigious university and is extremely ambitious, but he ... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
he graduated from a prestigious university and is extremely ambitiou... |
AITA for not cleaning up the house when I'm working from home? | my husband and i have been married for a little over a year and we both work full time. my work is 45 minutes away from home, 4-5 days a week while he only works 15 minutes away, 4 days a week so he usually gets home/is home long before i am. this hasn't been too much of an issue until the past two months.
i've switc... | 236 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/es3yww/aita_for_not_cleaning_up_the_house_when_im/ | 2020-01-22 00:34:19 | nta: what is the benefit to staying married to this jerk? | nta, he's being passive aggressive and way too demanding. throwing things out to punish you for not cleaning is bordering on abusive. | i work from home full time and i have exactly zero time to clean because i'm, ya know, working.
what i've learned from working from home is that pretty much everyone thinks i've got an endless amount of time to make dinner, clean, go grocery shopping, exercise, craft, make appointments, take my kids to appointments, ... | nta- this isn't about housework or work locations, it's about a spouse who fundamentally disrespects you, your job and your time. | nta. this is a red flag about how he deals with conflict. also he is acting as if your work is less important than his. | nta. his expectations are unrealistic, and the fact that he's throwing away dishes is aggressive, childish, and hostile. maybe sit down and figure out your work hours including commute as well as his and present it to him that way. it sounds like you're putting in more hours than he does, which means he should be doing... | nta, your husband sounds stubborn and controlling. | nta he’s throwing away dirty dishes because you haven’t cleaned them?! that’s completely unreasonable. also fyi i also work from home some days so i know how hard it can be to get any housework done when you’re under the pump. also who the hell vacuums and does laundry every day? | nta. it's so common for people not to respect working from home as actually working. if he's not willing to wait an hour or two for you to "get home" then that's his choice. | info: what was your husband doing regarding cleaning when you were spending 5 days in the office? and what does he do on his extra day off? you mentioned he works 4 days a week. | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | INFO | 0.003 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: my husband and i have been married for a little over a year and we both work f... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
my husband and i have been married for a little over a year and we b... |
AITA For refusing to do chores? | i (24 m) have two roommates (25 f and 28 m) they are dating. i work graveyard shift and eat and shower at work. i'm a diesel mechanic and don't want to get grease in my car. my f roommate doesn't work so really just sits at home all day or goes to hang out with their family. she decided i wasn't helping enough with cho... | 2,787 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/p9x9td/aita_for_refusing_to_do_chores/ | 2021-08-23 10:46:52 | nta, especially with you paying half the rent and all the utilities?
i confess i don't think there is any salvaging this, the way you described it, the only possibility is moving on / out or getting other roommates.
i hope you find yourself a really nice small, clean appartment without any roommates that do thi... | nta. in normal circumstances, i feel everyone should do their fair share, but this is so not normal. they keep saving up the dishes until it’s your turn. does that mean they aren’t doing them when it is theirs? i think maybe it is time you moved elsewhere, especially since you pay the lion’s share anyway. or find new r... | nta. time to get new roommates. the three of you need to sit down and have a meeting regarding that chore list! dishes should be done when you use them and not left in the sink for some else to do. that’s just bullshit! you should all take turn when it comes to vacuum, cleaning bathrooms, etc. the rest of it shouldn... | holy fkn nta!
she's not contributing *monetarily, and you're essentially paying for her to live there and are their free pet sitter; you're being taken for a ride.
good luck with the inlaw suite! i hope you have a much more equitable situation there, because this is some bullshit.
*edited egregious swypo | nta they are taking the piss out of you! kick them out! | nta. sounds like your roommates are taking advantage of you | nta and majorly so.
you are not their housemaid. thus is your home as much as theirs.
tell them that you prefer they clean up after themselves as you do after yourself, and that you expect them to do the dishes daily, vacuum every other day (pets), clean the bathroom weekly (two people using it) or whatever you prefer... | chores you guys should have a plan for:
-bathroom
-kitchen (not dishes)
-floors (vacuuming and sweeping)
-taking trash out
at least that was our plan in my old apartment with roommates. you had one of this chores for a week and you should do it once during this week (except for the trash, this needed to be done... | null | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | null | null | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i (24 m) have two roommates (25 f and 28 m) they are dating. i work graveyard ... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i (24 m) have two roommates (25 f and 28 m) they are dating. i work ... |
AITA for not warning someone and intentionally got them hurt? | i know the title sounds bad but please hear me out. i (18m) went to my class at the workshop at my college, today half of our class had to do arc welding and the other half did gas welding. i was tasked to do the latter half. now one thing i have to mention is that there are 8 welding tables for gas welding, no labels ... | 617 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/uxfnfb/aita_for_not_warning_someone_and_intentionally/ | 2022-05-25 11:53:15 | nta - if he's dumb enough to go picking up random bits of welding that aren't his with his bare hands then it's his own fault when he gets burnt. | nta you are very clever | nta you told them it wasn’t their work and they insisted it was. you knew your work wasn’t cool yet but they thought they were right and found out the hard way they were wrong. you did tell them but they didn’t listen so it’s if it’s brought up again, remind them they burned themselves. | sub needs a justified asshole option. since that’s lacking, nta | nta and also youre funny af | 😂 😂 😂 😂 i can relate to this situation bc i studied welding too
if the metal piece is sitting on the table for like 7 to 10 minutes the burn is not that bad.
as for the gloves bc gas welding melts the piece you are working on but it cools really quick
as for burning these guys it's on them bc when handling som... | i’m confused. was dg trying to take credit for the work you just did? if it was his piece, wouldn’t he know how many minutes went by and not touch it? this case nta. if he was just using your space, screw him!, but maybe you could have handled the situation better. | why are yall grabbing recently welded metal with your bare hands? i feel like gloves or tongs should be the default just for safety, but i've never welded. nta bc fire indeed hot. | nta op left to rest a burn and came back to another student saying that ops work was theirs. that’s what they get for not using their brain and trying to steal something they didn’t make. op did not say to pick it up. | nta he came off like ta for being a jerk to you so i think he got what was coming to him. | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i know the title sounds bad but please hear me out. i (18m) went to my class a... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i know the title sounds bad but please hear me out. i (18m) went to ... |
AITA For not wanting my friend to come see me when she has her daughter bc I feel like she is using me | my boyfriend and i live in florida and recently he purchased a house for us. he gets paid very well so we were able to get a 3000 sq ft home with plenty of space for family and friends to come visit us. my best friend will come see me maybe once a month or twice a month and it’s always when she has her 5yo daughter. wh... | 819 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/sbtm1i/aita_for_not_wanting_my_friend_to_come_see_me/ | 2022-01-24 19:02:12 | nta. this person is not your friend. if you’re only being contacted when she needs something, she is using you. set a boundary and remember that no is a complete sentence.
she is making a decision that goes against her custody agreement, that’s her problem, not yours. | nta. it is wildly inappropriate for her to make living arrangements that conflict so completely with her custody arrangement, and even more inappropriate to place the burden of that custody arrangement on you and your home. she is absolutely using you.
it is also really foolish of her not to cultivate your friendship ... | nta. i'd be suspicious that any custody arrangement had a clause that didn't permit her child to be with her new boyfriend (unless the new boyfriend has some kind of criminal past). so it sounds like she's lying to you. in any case, take care of yourself first and there is nothing reasonable about you being her "safe h... | nta , she needs to figure it out . pretty dumb to have a bf move in that can’t be around the child , which is a crazy stipulation in a custody agreement . i would just tell her how it is , doesn’t seem like a friendship worth treading nicely around to be honest . | nta. i would just tell her that's not something you are willing to commit to or think that will work. tell her your plans change with your family needs and you don't want to be locked into plans for the foreseeable future.
but in all honesty, she is using you so she is not your friend. if you don't want to give her a... | nta. i would just remind her that you’re 7 months along and the closer you get to your due date you just need more alone time, peace and quiet. you are no longer entertaining people in your home right now besides family until the due date and for some time after to settle in with baby. but i’ll let you know when i’m re... | nta. what? she plans to only see her daughter when she is staying with you? that’s ridiculous. talk about putting her new boyfriend ahead of her own child. no wonder the kid misbehaves, her mom doesn’t pay any attention to her.
your “friend” needs to go back to the court and get permission to have her boyfriend move ... | nta do not let her take over your house like this!! i promise if you give her permission to come whenever she has her daughter you will never get rid of her. just say no!! if she gets angry and doesn’t want to see you anymore then you know her priorities. | nta so many red flags here not only for you but also for her child. time to end the friendship. make it very simple sorry but this will not work for you that you have to make other arrangements and then block her. | nta
no is a complete sentence. | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: my boyfriend and i live in florida and recently he purchased a house for us. h... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
my boyfriend and i live in florida and recently he purchased a house... |
AITA for having a life in my own house? |
update 1: reported it to the housing officers and waiting on a call to see the next steps. they keep saying that we are loud, shouting all the time and slamming doors, and the other neighbours also say is not them so it seems i am the target for some weird reason. i am also the only one on the block without children ... | 2,199 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/qrif2u/aita_for_having_a_life_in_my_own_house/ | 2021-11-11 10:31:24 | nta. it’s unfortunate that the building doesn’t have good soundproof but it’s not your fault. it’s not like you party all night, you are just doing your daily routine. report this to your landlord or building management board so you have a 3rd party in this. your neighbor also should soundproof the baby room | nta i would tell them to get used to living in an apartment building and to stop knocking on my door and harassing me. their kid is their problem, not yours. the kid would adjust to the normal noise around them if the parents weren't such control freaks. | >they said that they also hear us arguing. i haven't had an argument with my husband in the last months
yeah, it's not you keeping them up, it's someone else. some houses are built really weirdly, so it could be another flat making the noise, but it sounds like directly above them. at the end of the day, you should... | nta
stop catering to these people's complaints.
they are even lying about what you are doing (arguing, slamming doors).
two month babies don't have anxiety, and you can and should train them to sleep through noise. when my kids were infants, the maternity nurse told me to vacuum under their beds to train them. | nta. i would tell your neighbour that if she has an issue to call the police and to please never knock on your door again. i would also contact your landlord and tell them your being harassed. | nta but you should get a pet elephant.
you're being considerate, it's unfortunate that the building is obviously built with thin floors. i'm sorry your neighbours are so rubbish, hopefully they'll move out! | nta
do i understand that this is military housing? what are his and your husband’s ranks?
i do think this is the wrong forum for this question as there are too many answers they won’t allow to be given. | nta, it's nice to be considerate of your neighbour's but this stuff is not your problem. you're allowed to live in your house. it's possible they are hearing noise from elsewhere.
sucks for them but if their kid is that sensitive then they shouldn't live in shared housing. i have 3 kids, i get my cleaning done, vacuum... | nta. i would recommend talking to the building owner or whoever maintains it (i guess the military equivalent of a landlord?)
explain everything you’ve just said and they may be able to have a word with the couple downstairs.
you have a right to feel safe and relaxed and free in your own home and you don’t feel those t... | nta it sounds very much possible they're hearing other neighbours and their disagreements and assume its coming from your place or they're just trying to use you guys as a scapegoat. | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: update 1: reported it to the housing officers and waiting on a call to see th... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
update 1: reported it to the housing officers and waiting on a call... |
AITA for not letting my future SIL have any say about my wedding? | my future husband and i are both 27, his sister is 34. throughout our entire relationship she has pushed her beliefs down our throats and in the beginning, my fiance and i almost split up because of it. it seemed to die down over the years but is still very evident when it comes to certain topics. like our wedding.
so... | 881 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/iryhye/aita_for_not_letting_my_future_sil_have_any_say/ | 2020-09-13 13:42:18 | nta- i'm always amazed that people think they have the right to dictate other people's weddings. its entirely up to you and your partner as to how you want to get married and no one else. | “she ... said we were alienating her from our big day“
right, she correctly assessed that one.
“... we were ...making this decision without her approval “
right again, she is on a roll.
easy-peasy resolution: no after-party at her place. just because something has been done a few times in a family, it doesn’t get c... | nta, at this point i’d actually drive it down even harder and elope without telling anyone. and then the next time someone asks, just be like oh the reception is gonna be here since we’re married already...
again nta do not let anyone have an opinion about your wedding! them being invited is a privilege, not a right an... | do not - repeat do not - have the party at her place. she will orchestrate the whole thing to be what *she* wants and not what you two want. take control and have the day that you both want, the way that you want it. go radio-silent regarding the wedding and only when your plans are fixed tell everybody else. anybody w... | info: how did you make the plan to have the party at her home without her knowing about it yet? | esh. a small, intimate wedding is fine. and your fsil is way out of line trying to take over your wedding. but it also seems rude to hold an "after party" at her house without inviting her to the event. | nta - it’s you and your future husband’s wedding. if his sister can’t pattern herself then tell her she doesn’t have to come if she doesn’t like the plans. isn’t she not ashamed of herself? acting this way when she’s supposed to be the senior/ big adult. | esh- your sil is clearly overbearing and not holding boundaries, but were you really going to let her host the party and not invite her to the wedding? | nta. it’s your wedding; do it the way you and your fiancé want. she gets no say whatsoever. | nta - and why are you two letting her steamroll you? between the two of you, you should have enough of a backbone to tell her to stop. people like that can only treat you like this way if you let them. tell her what your plans are and that you're not interested in hearing hers or anyone else's. and if she won't shu... | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | INFO | ESH | NTA | ESH | NTA | NTA | 0.09992 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: my future husband and i are both 27, his sister is 34. throughout our entire r... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
my future husband and i are both 27, his sister is 34. throughout ou... |
AITA for getting mad at my husband for burning pasta? | the title is a bit misleading, but i really feel like i’m not overreacting.
i was relaxing on the couch upstairs when my husband announced that he was going downstairs to make pasta. i said ok and kept doing what i was doing for about another 10-ish minutes till i smelled burning. my first thought was that it was fin... | 197 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ja3zz0/aita_for_getting_mad_at_my_husband_for_burning/ | 2020-10-13 01:34:47 | nta. leaving a stove unattended to do something else time consuming and not even noticing when the burning started is mad irresponsible - and he wasn't remotely remorseful when spoken to. | nta. at. all.
it’s unsafe to leave a burner running unattended, period. and you have a child, for pete’s sake.
if he can’t put down the video game for 10 fucking minutes, there’s something seriously wrong with him. | nta - this isn't so much about burnt pasta as it is about living with a man who is so irresponsible and cavalier about the safety of his wife and child. i would be furious, too, if i had a child and he had such a careless and reckless attitude. i'd be afraid to leave him alone with the baby, tbh. | nta, he should be able to stay off the video games for 5 min to make food and it’s just even worse that the food got messed up. super irresponsible to leave the stove going and starting a video game and forgetting | nta.
op's husband: i'll risk burning the house down rather than hang out in the kitchen for 10 minutes, because i have to play my video games.
ugh. how shortsighted and just plain stupid. | nta. if your husband isn’t going to bother to monitor the things he’s cooking, he ought not be cooking at all. | nta!!!
my husband has a tendency to justify actions with arbitrary things like setting a timer when it literally doesn’t matter! so what if he set a timer? it was still burning unattended!
once my husband had our infant on the living room ottoman while he was in the kitchen, i walked in, screamed, and grabbed her. he... | nta. it sounds like what you were rightfully upset. carelessness like that can be dangerous. to him it might have seemed like you were overreacting, but it wasn’t just burning something. it was abandoning a stove while it is on. that could have been a disaster. | nta, he not only messed up with something that could have had serious consequences, he did it because he wanted to play video games (couldn’t he wait 10 minutes?) and he completely disregarded the issue and was rude about it by keeping playing the game instead of at least listening to you. | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: the title is a bit misleading, but i really feel like i’m not overreacting. i ... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
the title is a bit misleading, but i really feel like i’m not overre... |
AITA For surprising my BF at work? | so ive been with my boyfriend for 6 months. he works at a shop (retail, small business, very laid back, when it's slow they let him play hearthstone on his phone). we don't live together, and he's was rostered on for 4 days in a row, meaning i couldnt see him until after his 4th shift (distance to his place/work makes ... | 163 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/agtp21/aita_for_surprising_my_bf_at_work/ | 2019-01-17 03:44:13 | nta at all. if you'd been dating six days, i could see a case for it being weird. but six months? that's a sweet gesture when you haven't seen each other much in a few days, and the fact that he reacted that strangely and showed no gratitude is a big red flag in my book. even if he didn't feel comfortable for whatever ... | nta - that's not normal behavior, you need to talk to him about this | nta, and his reaction is *extremely* suspicious. | personnaly my girlfriend did this once and it’s awkward but sweet, i guess it depends on the person, or how old you are (i’m 21, been with my girlfriend for 3 years)
i say nta | nta lol, your boyfriend sounds awfully strange. like, i could see it being a little awkward and surprising, but to call you a stalker is so over the line. | it would be different if he worked in an office where you had to go to reception etc.
but just dropping in and saying hi, not a big deal.
i used to love it when i worked in a grocery store or bakery and my bf would come and visit.
nta - and i hope it works itself out | info
how far away was it exactly? if you took a surprise drive for 5 hours, it might seem a little weird to me too. | nta but also info?
how does he act otherwise, does he hold your hand in public or is he a no pda kind of guy? how often do you see/talk to him, is there (a very small) possibility he is hiding you from another significant other?
some people aren't comfortable with the work approach, it feels invasive to them, and tha... | nta. i wanted to go with nah but his reaction was way out of left field and insulting. if you surprised him then i get that but his response wasn’t appropriate to the situation. are you guys officially dating or in a situationship? that’s the only thing that explains his reaction imo. | so who is he flirting with at work? | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | INFO | NTA | NTA | null | 0.00388 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: so ive been with my boyfriend for 6 months. he works at a shop (retail, small ... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
so ive been with my boyfriend for 6 months. he works at a shop (reta... |
AITA for arguing after someone said my brother shouldn't have been born? | one of the players in my (19f) campaign has been repeatedly rude to me during the campaign. i will call him bill.
to be fair, bill (20m) instigated arguments and i tended to take the bait, and he was clearly only saying what he did to get a rise out of me. i tried to take all of this in a good natured way, as my boyfr... | 3,034 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/l7o4kt/aita_for_arguing_after_someone_said_my_brother/ | 2021-01-29 09:12:37 | nta.
bill: your brother should literally have been killed
you: okay bye
bf: what you’re being so rude i can’t believe you would make me pick a side op!
you might want to consider upgrading your boyfriend. this one seems... faulty. | my blood is boiling on your behalf. this guy said your brother should have been aborted and you are the one who is the ass? that makes no sense. your boyfriend sucks. if bill was kidding it wasn’t funny and he should have apologised not doubled down. i think maybe you need to find new friends, and a new boyfriend who d... | info: first off yu are the grestest big sister ever! and now why are you still with someone who clearly doesnt stick up for you, and allows his "friend" to trash you? honestly id have broken up with him a long time ago. and especially after this last time. when he didnt say absolutely nothing when bill said your broth... | the fact your bf doesn’t see it as a big deal you might as well break up cause honestly that’s a no no he doesn’t respect you so he doesn’t care his friend disrespect you | nta. bill is an asshole, and so is your boyfriend. | nta. nobody likes an edgelord. there’s a reason most of them grow out of it. demanding you keep interacting with someone who enjoys stirring up nasty arguments and deliberately making you feel hurt and upset is messed up. if your boyfriend can’t demand bill behave and won’t ask bill to leave, it sounds like it migh... | nta and please dump your boyfriend. your boyfriend shouldn’t even have to pick a side because he should already know who’s side he’s on. honestly op, i don’t know how you could stick with a guy who’s defending someone who’s saying your brother should have been aborted... your boyfriends just as much of the jackdonkey a... | nta
my boyfriend is 21m and his brother, 8m, has a developmental disability. if i tried to tell him he shouldn’t absolutely shred to pieces anyone who talked about his brother like that, he would break up with me. and he should.
all the friends defending bill are assholes. it sounds like bill is a missing stair kin... | holy f*ck balls. imagine introducing your girlfriend to your verbally abusive college "bro" and then telling her to suck it up when he starts attacking her and her brother as a "joke". you don't make jokes like that, and if you do then it's because you believe what you're saying at least in part, and want to mask your ... | nta but both your bf & bill are. bill for saying what he did and your bf for not sticking up for you or your brother. dump the lot of them. | NTA | NTA | INFO | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0.00388 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: one of the players in my (19f) campaign has been repeatedly rude to me during ... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
one of the players in my (19f) campaign has been repeatedly rude to ... |
AITA for yelling at my mom/sister after my mom has let my sister consistently destroy my old PS3 for a year and a half? | basically, because i bought an xbox a few years back, my ps3 that i also bought myself was forcibly taken from me (literally) and given to my sister. for a year and a half my sisters absolutely fucking abused the poor thing, keeping it in her disgusting room or in my mom's room, which is filled with tobacco smoke at al... | 252 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/koia4i/aita_for_yelling_at_my_momsister_after_my_mom_has/ | 2021-01-01 20:22:25 | nta. i hope that you can stay at your father's house and if you buy a new ps3, keep it there. | info : how old are you and your half sister? what is your living arrangement? | info: how could you play it yesterday if the controllers have been broken for 6 months?
if you're gonna troll then get your story straight. | nta. first off is super weird and shirt that they took something that you paid for and gave it to someone else. doubly shitty that the person didn't even have the decency to take care of it | jfc, nta for about a dozen different reasons. your mother's handling of this was incredibly poor parenting and a disservice to you *and* your sister. teaching your kid that you're entitled to use other peoples' things against their wishes, you have no obligation to care for those things, and if you break someone else's... | >and that i have to buy her a new ps3 as a birthday gift (within the week too)
huh? this is disjointed - does not follow.
there's only two possibilities.
your parents are capricious and so remorselessly favor your sister that we're looking at personality disorders.
or you're not telling us something. | nta, it was yours and you’re allowed to be upset about your sister mistreating and breaking something you own. i’m sorry your dad isn’t backing you up on this, i wonder if your mom or sister told him their side of the story first. this is probably a blessing in disguise even though it doesn’t seem like it now. | nta. if you have even the barest sliver of the barest shred of self respect, do not aplog9ze or buy anything for them. you need to protect your stuff for real, grab your important papers( ss, birth cert., and other stuff.) you're family is trash but you don't have to be. you can be better than them, and seems already a... | null | null | NTA | INFO | INFO | NTA | NTA | null | NTA | NTA | null | null | 0.036878 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: basically, because i bought an xbox a few years back, my ps3 that i also bough... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
basically, because i bought an xbox a few years back, my ps3 that i ... |
AITA For showing my teacher a pad? | first time ever posting here, so let me know if i can edit anything to make it better. english isn't my native language, so sorry in advance for any spelling/grammar mistake. this will be a bit long. tl;dr at the end.
this dates back to pre-covid times, around february. my maths teacher has never been nice. he loves t... | 360 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hp7wml/aita_for_showing_my_teacher_a_pad/ | 2020-07-11 10:34:57 | nta, he wasn’t going to let you leave unless you showed him what was in your pocket. he was the one that made the situation uncomfortable and disruptive to the class. why does a grown man think a pad is disrespectful | nta
your teacher was being a jerk | nta
you did nothing wrong. your teacher needs to get over himself. | he's an idiot. ignoring his teaching skills he still sucks. we had an unsaid rule in my school, when a girl asks to go to the toilet they will always allow her. no questions asked. ofcourse not when we had tests or exams for the whole class on. this was sometimes misused to bunk but all my teachers didn't want a person... | a grown man offended by a pad he forced you to show him? i'd make a formal complaint of sexual harassment. | nta, teachers like this are so annoying, i mean what were you supposed to do? | nta
he didn’t believe that it wasn’t your phone and you showed him it was not your phone. that’s not disrespectful at all. it’s a freaking pad, not a middle finger. | nta. he clearly wasn't letting you leave without showing him what you had in your pocket, and then he got mad when what you had in your pocket was a feminine product? come on, dude. i'm sure some girls do leave class to text, but plenty leave to go change out period products too. it's not disrespectful that you showed ... | null | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | null | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: first time ever posting here, so let me know if i can edit anything to make it... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
first time ever posting here, so let me know if i can edit anything ... |
AITA for not wanting to evenly split a gift (of airfare and a hotel room) for my boyfriend's parents? | so as a gift, my (24f) boyfriend (29m) and his 3 siblings have decided to plan a family vacation for their parents' big anniversary. they are paying their parents' portion of the trip (airfare and hotel room) and want to split that evenly with me as well - this adds up to around $300 extra per person, when i'm already ... | 1,428 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/sj9h6c/aita_for_not_wanting_to_evenly_split_a_gift_of/ | 2022-02-03 04:09:33 | nta. only their actual kids should be paying... | nta. they only included you because they wanted to pay less. | [deleted] | "rude and poor character"?
man, that's weird. these are weird fucking people. you don't want to go on vacation with them.
nta | boyfriend and siblings plan the gift, boyfriend and siblings pay for it. you being willing to pay for your own expenses to join them all shows that you care for the parents and your relationship with them. they are trying to lower their own costs. nta | nta but your boyfriend is for calling you offer 'rude' and demonstrative of 'poor character'. is that someone you really want to be with? | nta. that's completely nuts. you can get the parents a small gift, separately, if you like, but contributing to a big anniversary gift from the kids? bizarre. | nta, ahahahahaha this is on the kids, not their girl friends and boyfriends. he thinks this shows poor character on your part? is this really the guy for you? | info: do the siblings also have so’s that are splitting this cost as well? even if they do i’m strongly leaning toward nta as it’s your choice what gift you want to give or not. and if they don’t it’s really weird they expect you to contribute to their parents’ gift. | how is this either "rude" or demonstrative of "poor character"? the siblings are buying a gift for their parents. is he also buying an equally expensive gift for your parents? if not, can that also be considered rude and showing his poor character?
nta. | NTA | NTA | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | INFO | NTA | 0.00388 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: so as a gift, my (24f) boyfriend (29m) and his 3 siblings have decided to plan... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
so as a gift, my (24f) boyfriend (29m) and his 3 siblings have decid... |
AITA for discipling my 7 year old. | due to the horrible rental market in australia at the moment i'm currently staying with my parents until my family can secure a new rental property. we're all sleeping in the same room, we have no privacy at all because there is no door on the room we are staying in.
my mum (despite being a hard ass when i was growi... | 166 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/o1s076/aita_for_discipling_my_7_year_old/ | 2021-06-17 08:14:28 | nta but maybe you should put your mom in a time-out. she needs to quit demonstrating behaviors that are getting your kid in trouble at home and school. where, oh where, could he have picked up on these traits? | nta, you’re trying to be a good parent (good job!) and your mom is undermining you which is ridiculous. | so, do i have this correct?
your mom is getting mad that you discipline your own kid?
i understand that she will care for your kid, but wether or not you discipline your kid just isn't her call.
nta. a kid who is misbehaving should be disciplined, as long as the punishment fits the crime.
also, from, "he demande... | nta
your mom isn’t your son’s parent. you are. don’t let anyone else dictate what you think is right for your kid. | mind me asking if there's a family streak of narcissism somewhere there? (specifically for your mother)
you sound like you're doing everything your son needs you to do atm and you're being a good parent. children need boundaries and discipline, it's actually just as abusive to allow them to get away with bad behavi... | null | null | null | null | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: due to the horrible rental market in australia at the moment i'm currently sta... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
due to the horrible rental market in australia at the moment i'm cur... |
AITA for not wanting my moms new husband to come to my doctors appointments with us? | i am 19f, my mom is 36f, her new husband is 40ishm.
my mom met this guy in november of 2019. they got married last month without any warning. our family has known him for forever as a family friend but nothing personal. he’s nice enough, but everyone, including myself, is just not comfortable with him yet. it’s extre... | 301 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/g0wha7/aita_for_not_wanting_my_moms_new_husband_to_come/ | 2020-04-14 01:47:21 | nta. it's weird how she's forcing you to bring him along. i'd put my foot down as well if it made me uncomfortable. | nta
i feel like this is a red flag for abuse. be very, very clear with your mother that you are not allowing him into your life that way, and if she cannot come without him, she cannot come either. | nta. it's your doctor's appointment, and you should feel comfortable at the doctor's. he has no right to impose, and neither does your mother. | nta! what's kind of your mom want to get you to your doctor's appointment with her husband?? it's super awkward...i think she is selfish. you did right to stood up to say no to her. | nta for not wanting him there but are you sure it’s her wanting him to come and not him being controlling? | nta. this is honestly strange that she has to bring him with for everything considering you guys have always done this? just because she has someone with doesn't mean things have to change regarding different things. doctors appointments are also personal and can have some very personal questions or if you need to be c... | nta. doctor patient confidential exists for a reason. there is absolutely nothing wrong with forbidding anyone from coming to your appointments with you. honestly even forbidding your mother to come with you wouldn't make you the asshole. | info: is there a chance hes being possessive and not allowing her to leave without him? | nta | nta.. weird behaviour for a mum, creepy behaviour for a new stepfather. very rude odd invasive behaviour all round, this is just weird af ... i don't understand, you say that yr mum just met him last november, but then say your family has known him forever.. i'm confused... | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | INFO | NTA | NTA | 0.003 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i am 19f, my mom is 36f, her new husband is 40ishm. my mom met this guy in nov... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i am 19f, my mom is 36f, her new husband is 40ishm. my mom met this ... |
Aita for telling my mom she is a bad parent for not punishing my sister? | i (14f) suffer from depression and dissociation so i take antidepressants. i leave the bottle sitting on my counter in my bathroom since that is my space. however yesterday morning i woke up and they were not there. i panicked since i need to take them in the morning and i had school. i ended up going to school without... | 1,640 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/nv3x69/aita_for_telling_my_mom_she_is_a_bad_parent_for/ | 2021-06-08 13:23:15 | nta
your sister is awful and your mother is an awful mother. it's telling what she saw worthy of punishment. evidently she values her own ego over your well-being.
well, you can punish your sister yourself. you've seen her tik tok account right? expose her. | nta and report her account for being under age | how old is your sister? | [removed] | nta. "caused no harm"? you were *without your medication for a day*. that can cause major side effects from some medication if you aren't careful. what if it had been for your heart? would she say that then? and what if your sister took one?? taking meds not prescribed by your doctor can also be really dangerous. your ... | nta- i’m going to be brutally honest here. your sister is a dick for stealing your meds and using them as a prop for fake internet points. your mom is either incredibly ignorant or apathetic by doing next to nothing to stop your sister and then excusing it as a learning experience while punishing you for standing up fo... | nta
isn't tiktok officially limited to people above the age of 13? make her lose her account. she is obviously not mature enough to use social media. | nta and this is why i hate internet culture. | nta. your mother is not being a responsible parent. if your sister had taken some of your meds, she could have ended in the er. maybe your sister is too young to understand it, but your mother should know better. psyquiatric medication is very dangerous for people that don't have any mental illnesses. just bc you have ... | nah. unless your sister is significantly older than you, she's just being a dumb kid and isn't an asshole. doing dumb insensitive shit is how most of us learn to not be assholes and this is probably that for your sister.
you aren't an asshole because you're young and still learning whats reasonable to expect of others... | NTA | NTA | null | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NAH | 0.000646 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i (14f) suffer from depression and dissociation so i take antidepressants. i l... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i (14f) suffer from depression and dissociation so i take antidepres... |
AITA for taking my dog to college? | i am about to be a junior at a college nearly across the country (us) from where i grew up. for this reason, and other problems college kids have, i have been very stressed and somewhat depressed.
so this summer i drive home inorder to bring my dog to college, otherwise i would have flown. when i get home my dad told ... | 991 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cm5av2/aita_for_taking_my_dog_to_college/ | 2019-08-05 02:47:38 | nta. it sounds like you taking the dog was agreed upon ahead of time (hence why you drove) and that your dad decided last minute that he didn't want to let you have the dog. the going back and forth and saying the dog would be lonely/die without the other dogs is unnecessary (as was threatening to call the police), and... | nta. sounds like your dad overreacted.
if the pet was a gift to you, then it's *yours*. this can be confusing because animals aren't the same as items.
i say you have the right to take the dog since it's yours and you will take good care of it. dogs don't necessarily get depressed when they're not around other dogs.... | nta: i see from your replies that you've thought this through (living in a house with a dog park, dog is home alone less than 6 hours). your original post lacked some of this info, so perhaps that's why you are getting so much flack in the replies.
anyway, i hope the best for you and your dog. | info: are you allowed to have a dog where you’re living? is he walked multiple times a day and not left alone for long periods of time? | nta. your dad is channeling his empty nest feelings into you and your dog. if the dog is happy and you have time to care for it there is no problem and dad can see you both for the holidays. | info
what were his sat scores like? | nta but is this the best for the dog? i completely understand you need and desire to have your best pal near you during college. but ask yourself if your dog is happier there. make sure the dog gets plenty of attention, exercise, fresh water, and is safe and isn’t depressed. dogs can get sad when people leave their liv... | nta. it seems like it was preplanned for you to take the dog and that your father changed his mind last minute. i don’t see anything wrong with you sticking to plan. also he’s definitely wrong in posting about his family life on facebook for all to see. | nta. it's your dog. | nta. it sounds like you have been very responsible about it. you're very lucky your landlord allows dogs, do something nice for them sometime to show your appreciation. i was really impressed to read you live close to a dog park and that the dog is getting regular exercise. i commend you for working your schedule aroun... | NTA | NTA | NTA | INFO | NTA | INFO | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0.016 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i am about to be a junior at a college nearly across the country (us) from whe... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i am about to be a junior at a college nearly across the country (us... |
AITA for kicking my friend out of my bedroom so my wife could take a nap? | throw away account. so, i 28m have a wife 27f who works full time as a cna while she is in school to become a an autopsy technician. she works a lot. she is constantly picking up extra shifts working doubles and even triples. she does all that on top of going to school full time. because of that she often takes a nap a... | 20,651 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/u4r55j/aita_for_kicking_my_friend_out_of_my_bedroom_so/ | 2022-04-16 05:48:01 | nta, but you need to get better friends. they sound awful! | nta. bros before hos? she's your wife. not just some chick you're sleeping with. fuck that guy. | nta but why are you still friends with him? making somebody uncomfortable and not liking someone are two entirely different things. his reaction to you saying your wife comes first tells you everything you need to know about what type of friend he is. (the kind you stop being friends with) | nta because your wife needing to sleep is so much more important than playing video games. however, you need to reevaluate some of the friendships you have and ask yourself if you're comfortable with them disrespecting your wife. | nta - are you friends with a bunch of 16-year-olds? of course you're not the asshole and your friend needs to grow up. | get rid of anyone that blew up your phone in the "bros before hoes" mentality.
please continue being a good husband/partner. being any sort of healthcare worker right now is exhausting.
nta | nta - you also need to get rid of this friend. that's just toxic. | [removed] | nta.
why do you want to be friends with someone who is so happy to disrespect your marriage?
so e isn't speaking to you. so what? is acting entitled to your time, home and console the sign of a good friend? because i don't think so.
he'd be thrilled if you ruined your marriage by neglecting your wife's needs. that's no... | there's no way i would be friends with someone who called my wife a hoe. wtf? fuck that dude | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | NTA | null | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: throw away account. so, i 28m have a wife 27f who works full time as a cna whi... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
throw away account. so, i 28m have a wife 27f who works full time as... |
AITAH for saying this to my daughter? | my daughter has been in a relationship for 10 months and we really like the kid, he's a great kid, gets good grades and addresses us with "sir" and "ma'am" respectively. so, it's not like we disapprove..however, every month it's "hey mom it's our 1 month can i order us grubhub?" "its our 2 month, 3 month" ect. you get ... | 2,216 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hvm7qn/aitah_for_saying_this_to_my_daughter/ | 2020-07-22 03:24:11 | nta - you're the parent and honestly paying for dates is something that a 14 year old doesn't really need when there are bills to be paid. | nta i’m a teenage girl, so i feel i have a pretty good stance from her side as well. if she wants to spend a ton of money on her and her boyfriend she could always get a job. then she could see for herself how hard earning money is and why you don’t want to spend that much every month currently. also, does the bf chip ... | nta. 14yo? sorry, we're not spending $600 a year on your date nights. | guess i should've specified, my bad. she gets paid for babysitting. i also tried to talking to her in private but she refused and said "i don't keep secrets from him" she is going through her testy phase right now. i probably should have left it as "no we can't afford it" and not tried to diminish their feelings. live ... | [deleted] | nta she blows through $200 a month on random shit, but can't be bothered to save some of it for a special meal with her bf? yeah no.
tell her that the money for her 'anniversary' meals has to come from her allowance. if she chooses to spend all of the money she earns then she won't get her special meal. she needs to l... | nta but mightve been better to tell just your daughter w/o bf around. | nta.
it sounds like you gave her an honest explanation without losing your cool.
if the anniversary dates are that important, and we know they are when you are young, maybe try to cook them something special? you are under no obligation to do this. it is a suggestion to try to keep the peace at home. teenagers... | damn she’s payed 200 a month at 14? i got payed less than that from my job at 19 :’( | nta. if your daughter feels it’s that special enough to celebrate let her pay for her own meal with her bf. sounds like your daughter is acting like a spoiled entitled brat. | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: my daughter has been in a relationship for 10 months and we really like the ki... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
my daughter has been in a relationship for 10 months and we really l... |
WIBTA for giving my father an ultimatum? | my (17f) parents (49 f&amp;m) have been divorced since 2016. my father pays roughly 1k in child support for me and my 15 m brothers (twins). i'm turning 18 in april, and going to college in the fall. my dad bought me a used car for my 17th birthday and a macbook air for christmas to use for college (this is relevan... | 164 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/fa5ht1/wibta_for_giving_my_father_an_ultimatum/ | 2020-02-27 03:04:32 | nta- but your mom should really let him take her to court. i can’t imagine how he could convince a judge that he should pay less than the divorce agreement specifies. | nta - you aren’t the one putting money over your relationship. he is. you’re just delivering the consequences of his choices.
it’s not particularly unreasonable to lose all respect for a person who is actively forcing your mother into penury before his last kid is even out the door. | nta. your dad is an asshole who doesn't want to take care of his kids and i'm sorry you have to deal with this.
keep in mind, though, that you giving him an ultimatum probably won't work because he's proven that he hates your mom more than he loves you and is willing to let you and your siblings suffer to punish her. | nta
he is obviously prioritizing his petty and childish resentment to your mom instead of being a grown man and providing for his children´s needs. and also obviously he has enough money to support you and your siblings given his big house and pool construction. by what i can tell he seems salty towards your mom and ... | info why would your mom have to go back to court? the child support agreement is already in place. if he doesn't pay the right amount on time, then just report him. no lawyer is needed for that. | nta your father needs to grow the hell up, he honestly deserves it if he would rather break the law than support his own children just because of their mother | nta stay out of the middle. but you can tell your mother she can go to court, pro se, meaning that she can represent herself. all she needs to do is file a motion to enforce the court order. the people at the court house can help her. she could pay a lawyer or paralegal to prepare the papers and then file them herself... | null | null | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | INFO | NTA | NTA | null | null | null | 0.007141 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: my (17f) parents (49 f&amp;m) have been divorced since 2016. my father pay... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
my (17f) parents (49 f&amp;m) have been divorced since 2016. my ... |
AITA for refusing to take my kids to church? | my ex wife started to embrace religion ever since her parents died a few years ago. i am an atheist but respect other people's religion. in fact i respect it so much that i don't care. i don't think i've ever been in a church.
my ex usually has our sons on sundays and takes them to church. they are 7 and 9. it's a hip... | 531 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/y1rocv/aita_for_refusing_to_take_my_kids_to_church/ | 2022-10-12 02:29:13 | nta -- your day, your choice. period. (unless, of course, there is verbiage in a legally binding greement you two signed stating they would be in church on sundays.) | my ex wife and i had this argument back when we were married. i’m an atheist, she wasn’t super into church for years and then suddenly she was. she found one she liked. she took the kids, but i didn’t go. kids were 8-10 at the time. they liked it, but it wasn’t something they super cared about. one sunday my daughter d... | nta, if you have the kids on sundays then it is your choice what to do with them. if she has the kids on a sunday that she has off then she can take them herself. | nta. it’s not your obligation to take them to church. however if something important comes up at church and your kids really want to go, then that may be something that you want to consider taking them to are making arrangements for them to go | no one should have religion forced upon them, regardless of motive. nta. | nta. if your kids wanted to go, then it might be different, but if they would much rather go to ihop or the beach, then go enjoy that with your kids. | reminds me of my spouse’s parents. the dad was more religious than the mom, and wanted my spouse to go to church growing up, but didn’t wanna go himself. he wanted the mom to take them, because it’s a mom’s job i guess? she ofc said hell no, and my spouse has still never been to church. 🤣
nta | nta- they're your kids too and you get to pick what you get to do with them during your time with them. plus church is boring, pancakes are delicious. | nta. she has every right to take them and you have every right not to.
i will say if your boys show an interest than i think you should suck it up now and again.
also is she just no longer going to church then? most churches usually have a service at least one day a week that's not sunday, tho it depends on the den... | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: my ex wife started to embrace religion ever since her parents died a few years... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
my ex wife started to embrace religion ever since her parents died a... |
AITA For refusing to babysit for my brother and SIL after they previously told me they don't trust me | i (28m) have an older brother (31m) and sil (30f) who have a 3-year old son and sil is about 7-months pregnant with their second child. i am a single man in my 20s and live by myself. as such, i live a fairly typical bachelor lifestyle. i enjoy going out to bars and clubs, in the past i have attended music festivals an... | 16,981 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/khjm9v/aita_for_refusing_to_babysit_for_my_brother_and/ | 2020-12-21 15:33:30 | nta. thats insane. you literally were going to get screamed at and have been the bad guy no matter what you did. that's not fair to you at all. | nta, i personally believe you went about this the right way. you were willing to help, you knew sil wouldn't so you asked for her permission. i don't think you owe anyone an apology. | if she, in her state of mind, had enough capacity to insist no and to question whether you had drugs or a girl (both of which are none of her business), then she was in her right mind enough that her demand of no should have been respected. this should be said to anyone who tries to say you're wrong. someone should be ... | nta - i got really mad on your behalf when i got to the part where your mom called you and told you to apologize. that takes some giant balls. do not apologize.
your brother needs to sort this out with his wife. if he wants to be mad at anyone, he should be mad at her. he's just taking it out on you because he can... | nta - you would have helped if you had the mother’s approval. sil is the asshole.
edit to add: many of you have made great points! i’m seeing now that maybe the brother is the asshole... sil was clear in that she never wanted her child watched by op. brother didn’t respect her wishes, or op’s request to ask sil first. | wait so your being called an asshole for respecting your sil “boundaries” definitely nta | nta your sil said she doesn’t trust you so your not obligated to babysit for them. | nta, your mom is though - what exactly did she want you to do? ignore your sil screaming and just reach into the car and grab your nephew? it seems pretty clear that sil had no intention of leaving him with you so how could you help?
perhaps your mom can explain how you were supposed to help and then you can decide if ... | nta.
you are absolutely not the ah in this situation, and you did the right thing.
they can't year you like crap at the same time as they are asking a huge favor of you. and you should absolutely not take a child against any parent's wishes.
it's not ideal, but you can take a kid with you to the hospital. this is ... | nta. unfortunatley no matter what you did it would have ended badly. but let's play out the other scenario. you take the child even though the mother is screaming in the background. later, an angry mother comes and takes the child and you are never let within a mile of her or her children again. also, she is extremely ... | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i (28m) have an older brother (31m) and sil (30f) who have a 3-year old son an... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i (28m) have an older brother (31m) and sil (30f) who have a 3-year ... |
AITA? I reported my friends boyfriend without telling her. |
obligatory apology because i’m on mobile. also my friends have reddit so hopefully this isn’t seen by them, also please no screenshotting and posting this to instagram reddit accounts or any of that.
so a little backstory, my friend has been on and off with this guy for ages now, and he’s an abusive asshole. i mea... | 241 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/svggst/aita_i_reported_my_friends_boyfriend_without/ | 2022-02-18 12:10:59 | nta. i find your mom's stance a little weird. you should stand up for yourself. and he definitely acts like a heathen, she will thank you in the long run if it affects her and his relationship | nta, at the end of the day, you're the only one who can truly stand up for yourself and your needs. your mom may not have wanted to deal with the fallout of the situation so i think she gave you bad advice for her own sake, not yours. and with your friend, it's better to ask for forgiveness instead of permission. this ... | nta. i don't think your mum gets the full scope of this guy's behaviour. it's detrimental to your learning.
your friend is going through this emotional stress and she may have a load of reasons, but this doesn't help. that's not how a relationship should be. if she doesn't want your help, take care of yourself. this i... | nta you absolutely did the right thing and i can't understand why your mom would told you otherwise.
as for your friend, i think this is a school matter and you don't need to tell her about it if you don't want to. | nta.
in the long run you are saving her and one day she will see that. your other friends i’m confused as to why they think it’s ok to let it carry on. | null | null | null | null | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: obligatory apology because i’m on mobile. also my friends have reddit so hope... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
obligatory apology because i’m on mobile. also my friends have redd... |
AITA for telling my girlfriend she's not allowed to wear thong bikinis when I'm not around? | we kinda just got into a huge fight and she told her friends what i said. they all think i'm a huge controlling asshole and it's ruined our saturday night.
how did this get started.....
we met her friend kavita for lunch today. kavita just got back from toronto's carnival and was showing us some pictures. a few of th... | 306 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/coqrxq/aita_for_telling_my_girlfriend_shes_not_allowed/ | 2019-08-11 01:44:15 | yta because you are controling and you do feel entitled to be in charge of her. also, wrong sub! | obviously, yta. shockingly not everything women do revolves around men, often we wear certain clothes because...we like those clothes. lol. you are being controlling, i hope your girlfriend finds someone with views that actually line up with the century we're living in. | yta you have no right to tell your girlfriend what to wear and i wouldn't blame her if she left you because your behavior is controlling. | yta. i think you need to reread what you’ve written and said. you’re clearly being controlling and shaming her for being comfortable in her own body. | yta, and they're right about you being controlling. you should be able to place enough trust in your girlfriend to be able to trust her even if she's wearing "sexually explicit" things, such as a bikini thong. i definitely wouldnt want to be with someone like you, that's for sure | yta. her body, her choice for clothing (or lack of). | yta oh honey, just no to everything you said. | wow. major yta.
the way guys perceive her shouldn’t affect the way she dresses and neither should your input. instead, trust her to not grind up on other dude or hookup.
her friends are totally right. | yta it’s her body get over it.
also yta for this :
>anyway, when we got home i causally mentioned to my wife, if i were kavita's husband, i'd never even let her wear such a revealing costume in the first place. i said what she did was extremely inappropriate and that if she wanted to go without him she shouldn't ... | >i'd never even let
let me stop you right there.
>my way of thinking is archaic and sexist
it is.
>she doesn't understand how men think and that women themselves will think she's a whore
that's ridiculous. your clothes don't define your level of promiscuity and if you think that then you need to reevalu... | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | null | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: we kinda just got into a huge fight and she told her friends what i said. they... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
we kinda just got into a huge fight and she told her friends what i ... |
AITA for refusing to adopt a baby? | just to explain the situation- i am a woman, married to a younger man, with four adult children from a previous relationship. my husband always said, from the very first date, that he did not want any children. i certainly do not want anymore.
recently he has started talking about having children. i'm past the menopau... | 1,601 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/e1gge7/aita_for_refusing_to_adopt_a_baby/ | 2019-11-25 14:02:54 | nta. you guys agreed upfront not to have kids. if your husband has a change of mind, it is not on you to change as well. he's being completely selfish thinking that since he changed his mind, you have to as well. | nta. your friend is though. let her adopt the baby. this is a human, not a puppy. you can't just bring home babies.
serious though, not trying to be horrible or accusatory but could this be your husband's baby? | info and i apologise for this question. but is there any chance the baby could be his? | nta. you can't be expected just to adopt a baby because there happens to be a spare one and your husband wants it. you've done your fair share of mothering.
and if this girl is from a "very strict, religious family," they can take care of this baby. | nta. uh, you guys do realize that you can’t just decide to adopt someone’s baby without talking to them first, right? and no, you made it clear you didn’t want more kids. you don’t have to compromise on that. | nta you're past menopause, you're realistically into another part of your life than childrearing. it's a huge commitment, not made lightly, and there's no shame in knowing you can't make that commitment. (friend is ta for suggesting that's selfish.)
>i didn't want this girl to get in trouble
is troubling. sounds... | nta
for your husband to want you to raise another child when you're already at a post-menopause age, that's giving up at least another 18 years of your life for a child that is not even yours, just to satisfy your husband. that's extremely selfish of him. | nta
the partner who says no to adoption wins that debate and the baby wins a lifetime free from quiet (or overt) resentment | nta. a baby isn't an accessory or something you take on as a favor to someone else. if you don't want the commitment of raising a child again, you shouldn't adopt it. you made the right decision. your husband is being blinded by his compassion for his student and being rash: he could just as easily work with her to hel... | nta. maybe i've been on reddit too long, but just be sure this isn't your husband's baby. | NTA | NTA | INFO | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0.003 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: just to explain the situation- i am a woman, married to a younger man, with fo... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
just to explain the situation- i am a woman, married to a younger ma... |
AITA for asking my bridesmaid to temporarily change her vibrant hair colour for my colour schemed wedding? | my 24 f bridsemaid / cousin ella 26 f is to be in my wedding party in june.
the ongoing issue is that my wedding has a blue and green peacock theme and guests have been asked to follow this colour scheme with their clothes.
hair wasn't originally included at all in the colour scheme but my cousin ella has natural bri... | 8,963 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/essrci/aita_for_asking_my_bridesmaid_to_temporarily/ | 2020-01-23 12:59:47 | yta - this is her natural hair. if she had artificial coloring, i can see asking her to dye it again, but you are asking someone to change their natural hair color. yes your wedding, but there are limits are you have exceeded the limit. | yta she's hotter than you huh | yta.
i thought she was going to have some sort of comical crayola shade of red hair. she has gorgeous, natural virgin red hair. it's beautiful and completely natural. nothing about her hair is "flaming." it's not even particularly red, more like a deep strawberry blonde. this is just bizarre. you're a bridezilla like... | yta. a peacock color scheme would look just fine with that shade of red hair. if anything, it'll make the dress colors look more vibrant. if she wears her hair up, the emphasis will be on the color scheme, not her hair. you don't ask a natural redhead to dye their hair for one day. you don't ask a woman with super long... | yta. it’s her natural hair for heaven sake! plus, dying red hair is notoriously difficult, and frequently red hair doesn’t return to its natural shade after dying it. her red hair isn’t going to ruin your color scheme. get over yourself; you’re being unreasonable. | yta. as someone with "flaming red hair," there are about a hundred things i would say to you about this, but 99 of them would probably get me banned from this sub; so i'll just say you're in the running to be america's next top bridezilla. | yta asking someone to change their natural hair or their hair period is over the line. no one will give a crap about your wedding photos within a few months of the wedding besides you. her hair won't ruin the photos, your attitude will. | yta 100% bridezilla. | yta. what on god's green earth makes you think you have any standing to tell someone to change their hair color - their natural hair color?
you are the epitome of the bridezilla stereotype. i often think that people who demand such things for their super special magikal princess jubilee marry day are not mature enough... | ytmassivea: speaking as a person with natural bright copper hair, your peacock color scheme has nothing to with it. those specific tones go perfectly with red hair and it looks amazing. there literally couldn’t be a more complimentary pallet to red hair than peacock tones.
your jealousy is showing and rightfully so, s... | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | null | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: my 24 f bridsemaid / cousin ella 26 f is to be in my wedding party in june. th... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
my 24 f bridsemaid / cousin ella 26 f is to be in my wedding party i... |
AITA for asking my mother to leave the kitchen while I cook. | ever since i started cooking as a child throughout my teens and adulthood i would always get frustrated cooking in the kitchen at home until i moved out. my mother would always hover over and comment on little things while i cook. i recently moved back in (temporarily) and while i was cooking, my mother could tell i wa... | 298 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hq06mp/aita_for_asking_my_mother_to_leave_the_kitchen/ | 2020-07-12 19:18:47 | nta. this is backseat driving via the kitchen instead of a car. if she wants to be involved so bad, she can do the cooking herself. if you’re just a terrible cook, she should be addressing that much more directly instead of this kind of hovering coach method. | nta, you need your own space when cooking. your mother was probably trying to help but you need to make your own explorations when in the kitchen as it can become quite a heated place. mine does it all the time so i'm used to the hovering. | nta- i had exactly the same problem with my dad. he’d try to move things around or put them away, and it drove me crazy. i think he was so used to ‘teaching’ me how to cook (when i was a kid) that it was hard to let go in the kitchen. it’s probably difficult for your mother to accept that you know what you’re doing. i ... | [deleted] | nta - you need your space as much as she needs hers. | null | null | null | null | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | NTA | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: ever since i started cooking as a child throughout my teens and adulthood i wo... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
ever since i started cooking as a child throughout my teens and adul... |
AITA for refusing to sell a woman and her daughter a goldfish? | i (22f) work at a large chain pet store. i’ve been with the company for 3 years and i’m very passionate about it. i mainly work in the reptile and fish sections. i take the welfare of our animals very seriously and always do my best to ensure they go to good homes by educating customers about proper care. i even got th... | 1,294 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/x3mirm/aita_for_refusing_to_sell_a_woman_and_her/ | 2022-09-01 23:55:00 | nta, your manager is though. my goldfish lived in a 4ft tank and lived for 5 years until there was a freak accident. they were being grown out to be put in a pond. i was heartbroken when they died. | nta and whilst it's good that your manager didn't ream you, they're a massive ah to suggest you actually did something wrong (which is what they did with the "next time...")
i had to google what size a tank goldfish need and yep, they all say 20 gallons. so you know the job, were spot on with your response and anyone... | nta- used to work in a large pet store as well, and we were actually trained to not sell fish to people who admittedly did not have proper tank set ups. otherwise it’s a guarantee the fish will not survive (and the customer will end up coming back wanting a refund making the company lose money too). good on you looking... | oh yes my two subs colliding, aquariums and aita <3
because your manager said you are okay to not sell her the goldfish i will say nta. people really dont realize how dirty goldfish are and what they need in order to stop their dirtiness from killing them in a tank. you did the right thing by the livestock you carr... | nta. people need to be seriously re-educated about caring for fish because nobody realizes that those little 3 inch ones you see in bowls are just babies who don't thrive because they don't get what they need. i don't know how people can see the care that goes into their cousins the koi and not want to accept that gold... | nta. i think that you were definitely well within your right to deny the sale, and you had the best interests of the animal at heart. i would imagine your manager was coming from the, “customer is always right” mindset, but i don’t think anyone in good conscience should allow an animal to be placed in an unsuitable env... | [deleted] | nta. in these places,employees are allowed.to deny the sale if they believe the animal will suffer under bad care. you did everything you could to educate the woman on proper fish care. the manager is just concerned with making them shut up and getting a sale. you did the right thing and saved the fish. most people vie... | nta. you are of the right age to learn that very few good deeds go unpunished. thank you for advocating for the fish in your care and for standing up for what was right. | nta. and shame on pet stores for selling these types of habitats that really aren’t appropriate for any fish. i have 1 betta in a 20 gallon and even that feel like it’s too small for him to me. | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i (22f) work at a large chain pet store. i’ve been with the company for 3 year... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i (22f) work at a large chain pet store. i’ve been with the company ... |
AITA for loudly shouting in front of my dad and brother That im holding tampons in my hand despite it making them uncomfortable? | im a 15 yo girl and i have a older brother and a younger sister. my mom always tried to teach me to be ashamed of my period and to keep it discreet so that it wont any males "uncomfortable". this has always bothered me because almost all cis females and trans men have to deal with this, its perfectly normal so why on e... | 7,284 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/i55moy/aita_for_loudly_shouting_in_front_of_my_dad_and/ | 2020-08-07 02:32:05 | nta. teaching people to be ashamed about what is quite obviously a normal bodily function is really harmful, and engenders an environment where people can’t talk about their concerns, or worse, potential medical issues related to it.
they need to grow up. | “ok boobie boy” had me screaming. get em, menstruator! nta and please do it again. | jesus christ, nta, your father should be ashamed of himself for having the maturity of a 12 year old. your brother should strive to be better.
the idea that menstruation is embarrassing, "dirty", or "gross" is ridiculous. good on you for treating their reaction as ridiculous as it was. | nta i’m a boy and i don’t see why boys care so much like it’s not more disturbing than going to the bathroom tbh | nta. i wouldn't hide it anymore. i would talk about cramps when you have your period. i would say loudly to whomever is going grocery shopping "i need more tampons!"
if you father is acting childish and has a disgusting look on his face, i would look him in the eye and say "the only way i would not have a period is i... | nta i teach middle school kids and run a donation area in the school stocked from donations. we managed to score a bunch of pads and the boys refused to move them. i asked if they would be fine with q-tips (yup) then these are basically the same thing and to deal with it. | nta your parents suck if that’s how they intend on raising your brother. that’s how you end up with shitty men that have zero empathy for women. | hetero cis male here. most guys don’t care. only guys who care about this stuff are prudes. it’s the human body and natural. glad that you’re not ashamed of your body. you nta your family are the ah. | nta- i truly don’t get the disgust for clean and unused feminine products. i’m lucky my brothers are meh about it. it’s just what it is and it’s what’s needed. my brother would even remind me on grocery trips, to make sure i’m well stocked with feminine products. | this is so fake. | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: im a 15 yo girl and i have a older brother and a younger sister. my mom always... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
im a 15 yo girl and i have a older brother and a younger sister. my ... |
AITA for wanting to return a cookbook that my husband got me and refusing to cook? |
when my husband and i first got married, i did most of the cooking. i was also working less hours. then we had kids and i was a stay-at-home mom, so it just made sense. however, once our kids reached elementary age, i re-entered the workforce. this time, my workload doubled. i tried at first to cook every night, pr... | 5,556 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/l2cy9o/aita_for_wanting_to_return_a_cookbook_that_my/ | 2021-01-22 01:33:38 | nta. he’s being a chauvinist, and a lazy one at that. yikes. | nta - sounds like he’s finally realized how hard it is to do it all and wants you to step back into the roll of doing it so he doesn’t have to. | nta - this was passive-aggressive at best. no point in keeping a book you won't use. if he's tired of cooking, but you're still doing more work - then it should be open to debate that he'll shift more to other responsibilities...but you going back to more cooking without re-division of labor, when your workload has no... | nta. he needs to stop thinking the household is your job. | nta. you do all other chores and most of the childcare? he is ta for that alone. whatever made you agree to such an inequitable deal? now he's giving you the silent treatment because he wanted you to take over his one chore and you naturally refused. i feel so bad for you. | nta.
i mean... you kinda are. but his intentions give him the official title. the discussion about the cookbook seals the deal, too - he literally wanted to shove more chores off on you in exchange for nothing at all, and reap the benefits without paying in.
good on you for shutting that down.
go ahead and let the m... | info: which cookbook did he get you? it would be completely different judgements from me if he got you a betty crocker vs. something like a kenji cookbook, for example. betty crocker would be sending the message that you need to make him a sammich, but maybe he got caught up in the hype of an exciting cookbook and miss... | nta. the people saying your husband didn't intend to pressure you with this gift are kind and generous souls, but i think that "inspire" comment of his makes it pretty clear he knew what he was doing. if it were really that inspiring, you'd think he'd have tried it out or taken you up on the suggestion to keep it for... | nta- this isn’t a communication error, you are doing like 70% of the work and he wants to give you an additional 25%. | nta. your husband knows he doesn't have a leg to stand on. i imagine if he just apologized for the crappy gift and acknowledged why he was wrong, that would go a long way. but that's on him to do; you don't have anything to apologize for. | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | INFO | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0.003 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: when my husband and i first got married, i did most of the cooking. i was als... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
when my husband and i first got married, i did most of the cooking.... |
AITA for firing my friend and ending our friendship? | hi everyone,
i (28f) opened a business in jan 2021. in oct 2020 i began my hiring and hired this guy brad (31m). we clicked really well and his resume was impressive. in dec i got a weird call from brad. now, brad is gay, and it seemed like he was in crisis, so i went over to his house with another gay friend jake (34... | 385 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/pw5qad/aita_for_firing_my_friend_and_ending_our/ | 2021-09-27 00:19:07 | nta. you tried to support him beyond what most friends would do, but you can’t let him hurt your business. you’re a good friend for trying to tough it out, but he needs to sort out his alcoholism before you can comfortably bring him back into your business. | hey, your autism is not clouding any of your judgement, you're acting very clearly and decisively. you absolutely made the right decision.
nta | nta. brad can’t expect to hold down a job unless he gets his drinking under control. it sucks you lost a friendship, but i think it was for the best. | nta - you need to be a responsible business owner and that means holding your workers accountable to not being drunk at work. would you have allowed that sort of behavior if it had been from someone you don't consider a friend?
i would hope not. yes, brad needs help, but he needs to want to get his life together f... | null | null | null | null | null | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: hi everyone, i (28f) opened a business in jan 2021. in oct 2020 i began my hir... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
hi everyone, i (28f) opened a business in jan 2021. in oct 2020 i be... |
AITA for wanting to help our neighbour? | hi all,
what i thought was a trivial conversation has now become an epic fight and i'm need of some clarity.
for context: we (my partner and i)have recently moved to a house in a new area, quiet neighbourhood with lots of families and elderly. our direct neighbour, with who we share a wall and we have a confining gar... | 192 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/qddwxk/aita_for_wanting_to_help_our_neighbour/ | 2021-10-22 10:22:19 | nta - you’ve not forced yourself into jerry’s garden to cut his grass without his permission. you understand that jerry made not react in the best way to your offer but you’re still willing to extend the offer to help someone who may be struggling to do their day to day tasks.
your partner is angry at you because it “... | nta, the world needs more people willing to help out their neighbors. i will say it would probably be best to maybe get to know your neighbor a bit better before offering just because men tend to be sensitive & it could hurt his pride.
can i also say that your partner & other neighbors are ah. this guy had cov... | nta a million times over.
my neighbor used to stealth mow my lawn. i was pregnant and in/ recovering from an abusive marriage. what those neighbors did for me is indescribable. i felt seen and cared for at a time when i otherwise felt anything but.
you have a heart of true charity. don't let other people take that ... | not american here, but i'd say nta . what you might consider if you don't want to step on any toes, you could first just kindly offer to help out in general (like: is there anything i can do for you?) to jerry, because of his long covid symptoms. maybe have him over for coffee and such, before specifically offering him... | nta
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"my partner says he wouldn't let me do it on my own and he would have to get involved" - it would have been reasonable to demand you take full reponsibility and make it so it does not involve him. | nta. your partner sounds like a real piece of work. he doesn’t need to do any garden trimming if he doesn’t want to. there’s no one forcing him into it. | nta. it would be very kind of you to offer. sounds like your partner doesn’t want to help and is just being lazy. | nta
he is the asshole for saying he's gonna have to do something. i mean, why can you simply go do something? also why don't you just tell him
"ok don't do it baby" then you go do it later? he thinks he has to help you which i find offensive too. | null | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | null | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: hi all, what i thought was a trivial conversation has now become an epic fight... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
hi all, what i thought was a trivial conversation has now become an ... |
WIBTA for showing my little sister graphic pictures and articles of people who had died as a result of someone's compromised driving? | i have a little sister that i am teaching how to drive. she is 15 and i am 30. we always go out for coffee and i ordered a non alcoholic eggnog frap. she asked me if it had rum in it and i said no i would not be driving at all if it did. she then said "well, a little wouldn't matter right?" i reiterated that driving ti... | 533 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/jycwba/wibta_for_showing_my_little_sister_graphic/ | 2020-11-21 15:49:06 | nta, i think it's important that she take it seriously like you say. i just wouldn't do graphic photos. there's a website called accidental impacts that has stories of people who accidentally hurt or killed someone that you could also show her. it's crazy how it can affect your life. | honestly, the big thing she needs to know about is phone use while driving - people massively underestimate how bad that is. the try guys actually did some videos where they drove while drunk, high, sleep deprived or on their phone - and they were all shocked by how bad their driving was when they were sleep deprived ... | in ireland we have quite graphic ads (after the 9pm watershed) to warn against dangerous/drink/drug driving that were effective at one time but maybe not anymore because we're so desensitised to that kind thing now. we also have a school programme for 15 years old and up with videos and interviews with real life victim... | nta. every kid should get freaked out by this a little, and if she’s old enough to be driving, and doing so recklessly, the sooner the better. | nta. she would be reading those stories and perhaps seeing those images in any standard drivers' ed class. | nta. that's basically the premise of the red asphalt series that was a staple in drivers ed in california for decades. one of my friends was in the last one or the penultimate, can't remember, discussing the impact of her loved one's death on everyone who loved him. i'd actually recommend finding one of the videos made... | nta. when my mother was 17, she was run over by an irresponsible teenager with a driver's license who was going too fast and not paying enough attention. she survived, but she missed most of her senior year of high school because she was in the hospital and she has lifelong issues.
i fully support you making sure ... | 'take every corner as if there's a brick wall around it. expect every other driver to be an idiot. don't underestimate the weather. treat alcohol like somebody's death sentence'. | null | null | NTA | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | null | null | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i have a little sister that i am teaching how to drive. she is 15 and i am 30.... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i have a little sister that i am teaching how to drive. she is 15 an... |
AITA for telling my dad I was the one who didn't want his wife's kids at my birthday parties? | so when my (15f) parents divorced my dad was pretty pissed with my mom. when he remarried he wanted me to accept his wife's kids as more siblings (i have a brother who is 8 years older than me). and part of that was he wanted me to include them in the birthday parties my mom threw for me at the time since he couldn't t... | 3,117 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ktq8vn/aita_for_telling_my_dad_i_was_the_one_who_didnt/ | 2021-01-09 12:39:23 | nta, and i really don't see why he is so cross about this. you and your bro don't wanna be close, and they don't wanna be close either. none of that is inherently disrespectful. sounds like all the kids are happy enough just being civil but distant and he is causing problems forcing stuff that's not there. | i'm glad you spoke up and corrected your dad's misunderstanding. he assumed he could blame your mother about this issue until you spoke up.
you simply told the truth. you are nta. re-married parents often long for the "one big happy family" , as if to undo the heartache caused their children by divorce, but it ... | nta
your father is an ah though.
trying to force new siblings on a kid so he can play happy family? ah
expecting ex wife to accommodate new wife's offspring at parties because he for whatever reason won't throw his own? ah
you did nothing wrong and neither did your mother for having your back in this. | nta civil but distant relationship is fine for all the kids. i assume your dad is using birthday party as one example? because if he thinks a fun event once a year builds relationships, he has no idea how relationships work | >my dad always blamed my mom and back before christmas my dad was going off on the reason the blended family doesn't feel like a family (his stepkids and i are not close, my brother has nothing to do with them and they aren't bonded with him and we aren't bonded with our dad's wife) is because we never got to have t... | nta it isn't your mother job to facilitate a relationship with your step siblings. that is your father's responsibility. if he wanted them there he needed to throw you a party. if he didnt have the funds he could have done something cheap and tried to make it fun. info why did he never throw bdays, why was this soley ... | nta. you had every right to have family time with your own family, without step-siblings. if he wanted a close relationship for the blended family, it was on him to foster that, not your mom. | i'm confused as to why the dad wasn't allowed to throw parties for his kid or step kids? hmmm. | i think it would be a bit weird for your mom to invite her ex husband’s step kids to events. i’ve never heard of anyone doing that.
nta | nta - you were a child and if having them at your party made you feel awkward, you shouldn't be put in that situation. the onus is on your dad and his wife - they could have done a family party for your with your step siblings. your dad doesn't even want to attempt therapy. sounds like a guy who just wants to take th... | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | NTA | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: so when my (15f) parents divorced my dad was pretty pissed with my mom. when h... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
so when my (15f) parents divorced my dad was pretty pissed with my m... |
AITA for bringing my own groceries on a weekend bike trip and not wanting to pay for the other group members food? | i was invited along to a mountain bike trip this past weekend by a cousin of mine. my cousin's friend mark invited my cousin, and they had an extra spot, so my cousin invited me up. we stayed at an airbnb for 2 nights and split it 6 ways (there were 6 of us). on the friday i headed up there, i stopped for groceries and... | 3,180 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/pfw8aa/aita_for_bringing_my_own_groceries_on_a_weekend/ | 2021-09-01 15:29:05 | nta
your cousin should have let you know what the usual protocol is and if your cousin didn't know, then it was mark's responsibility. i guess if you want to be invited again, the $35 isn't too much to ask but i kinda doubt they'll ask you again. that sucks because it wasn't your fault. | nta: my guess mark is the ah here. seeing that no one else bought food it was probably your plan all along for tom to buy the food and everyone chip in. but mark didn't tell you that | info: was there any discussion prior to the trip about how food would be handled? | honestly some time i feel like i live in a different world then this sub. going on a trip like this the most obvious assumption in the world is that we all chip in on groceries. like that’s the most normal thing lol. would be super weird for everyone to bring thier own thing. | it's not your responsibility to chip in for groceries if you aren't eating any of it, nor is it ok for them to demand you pay when you bought your own groceries. nta | nta but i honestly wouldn't have paid him the money | nta. it's super weird that they are trying to charge you for groceries you aren't going to consume. i would not have paid. | every camping trip i've ever taken either with friends or just family. unless we're staying in separate cottages. we always go in together on the food. things like floats, folding chairs, swimsuits are purchased on our own, as they can be reused. in 35 years of this never did anyone bring their own separate food. do yo... | nta and you should have stood your ground. mark should have paid your share if it was so important to him.
and next time (since you enjoyed their company) tell them in advance not to expect any grocery money from you, you'll provide your own at a much lower cost.
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did he even provide a receipt? i thi... | nta, because you ended up paying and he shouldn't have insisted.
*however*: buying your own groceries beforehand on a trip like that? who does that? still, not enough to make you ta. | NTA | NTA | INFO | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | NTA | NTA | 0.005167 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i was invited along to a mountain bike trip this past weekend by a cousin of m... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i was invited along to a mountain bike trip this past weekend by a c... |
AITA for prioritizing a nose job over my kids' college funds? | i am 35 and have two daughters - 17 and 15. i got married too young to someone i barely knew because i was pregnant and worried about people judging me. the marriage predictably failed and i was 22 and divorced w/ 2 kids. we struggled for a few years until i graduated from school and met my husband (their step dad). my... | 359 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/lhdzau/aita_for_prioritizing_a_nose_job_over_my_kids/ | 2021-02-11 05:38:10 | yta, but not because you want to do something for yourself. it just generally sounds like you feel like this is owed to you; you chose to have your kids. it sounds like you think you sacrificed so much for them and essentially wasted your young adult life to raise them. if you want to get a nose job, go ahead, but don’... | yta. this isn't just about college, and you know it.
> my older daughter wanted to join cheerleading as a freshman, we couldn't afford the equipment. my younger daughter's class went to washington dc for their 8th grade graduation but we couldn't afford it.
for *years*, you've asked your daughters to sacrifice ... | it's not just over their college funds, it's over everything - current activities for the family, retirements and college. i think ywbta to prioritize your nose over those things, particularly retirement fund.
edit to fix glaring typo. | yta - “ or as a young adult sacrificing for my children”
that’s what it means to be a parent
your kids have barely been able to do any extra curricular they wanted or even go on field trips
and will have to throw themselves into debt to go to college
and your want to blow that much on a nose job?
yeah no
even wi... | yta. you don’t tell your kids “no” to relatively small expenses like cheer and a dc trip (i know they aren’t small but in comparison) and then spend $12k on a nose job. you don’t spend $12k on a nose job when you’re barely saving anything for retirement.
i’m sorry your life has been hard, but that doesn’t mean you ge... | yta. it’s your money to spend as you & your husband wish. however, don’t expect your kids to be happy about your prioritizing your looks over their education. expect some resentment & blowback especially if you ever gave your kids the speech about how “what’s inside is more important than your looks”. they will... | holy shit yta. it'd be one thing if it's a medically necessary surgery. this is cause you're vain. that's 6k each per kid, and while it ain't much, that's 6k less loans. | yta. if you can’t afford things for your children, and have just started saving for retirement, you should not be spending money on a nose job. i understand you hate your nose, but you shouldn’t do this until you can do it comfortably. your daughters futures shouldn’t suffer because of your nose | yta. legally it's your money and you can do whatever you want with it. but if you can't afford to support your kids' activities or help pay for college or save for retirement, then this should be a low priority. as a family you should think about spending priorities for the whole family, not just yourself. | personally i think yta because you say you feel guilt over not being able to provide more for them. & here’s your chance. you could put up 5,000 in the bank, let it gain interest and over 18 months put some up every month then split it for their college fund. but instead you’re taking all of that money and spending... | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i am 35 and have two daughters - 17 and 15. i got married too young to someone... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i am 35 and have two daughters - 17 and 15. i got married too young ... |
WIBTA if I countermand my daughter’s mother? | info: my (38m) daughter’s (16f) mother (37f) and i got married pretty young and split before our mid-20s.
she is spending the weekend at my house (it is my weekend). she asked me to have her friend (16f) over tonight to watch a movie in the living room. we are all very aware that this girl is more than a friend. i’ve... | 1,971 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/lj9eyy/wibta_if_i_countermand_my_daughters_mother/ | 2021-02-13 21:13:00 | nta - never ta for *not* being an overly-controlling homophobic parent. | nta. please let her have her girlfriend over.
it sounds like you only have her for the weekend and your ex has main custody. she is probably so exhausted living with her mother that isn't accepting. i am so glad atleast one parent will be supportive of her life decisions. go you. chances are she's bringing her friend ... | nta. generally, parents should be on the same page about big topics like dating but ... your ex is being homophobic, so exception granted. just make sure your daughter won't get in trouble with her mom. | nta
>a phase that she doesn’t want to encourage
a 'phase' is pretty insulting and says it all, you're good dude | nta, but you should consider how this is going to impact your co-parenting going forward. your ex could make your life - and your daughter's - very difficult.
but on the other hand, at the end, this is a friend coming over to watch a movie. your ex is effectively telling you that your daughter isn't allowed to have a ... | being gay (or bi) isn't a phase. your ex is going to have to deal with that at some point.
from you've written, it doesn't seem like you and your ex sat down and worked out an agreement on how to do this. she told you her position without a discussion and expects you to abide by that. that really isn't fair to your o... | nta
your daughter will be thankful for you being accepting regardless of this being a 'phase' or not, i am bisexual and married to a man, i will be forever grateful for my mum allowing me to explore and be comfortable with my dating preferances in a safe way as a teen and this ultimately has made a brilliant relations... | nta
your daughter is nearly an adult who is very capable of understanding her sexuality and who she wants to date.
its quite homophobic that your wife doesnt want to "encourage that" and "its just a phase"
shut that shit down asap | nta. its fine just have the safe sex talk | you’re nta.
honestly, it sounds like your ex is homophobic. your daughter is 16, i think she would know if it was “just a phase”.
please support your daughter, it’s hard enough being queer in the world without support of parents. at the end of the day, all that matters is that you have a good relationship with your... | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: info: my (38m) daughter’s (16f) mother (37f) and i got married pretty young an... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
info: my (38m) daughter’s (16f) mother (37f) and i got married prett... |
AITA FOR KICKING MY UNCLE OUT OF MY APARTMENT? | i (m19) moved out of my mom's place a couple months back because i work & study from home. however - i didn't move far away from my mom for personal reasons. my family is close, we all live in the same area and my cousins and i all went to the same or similar schools. we eat at eachothers places regularly, i like t... | 1,580 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zu88gd/aita_for_kicking_my_uncle_out_of_my_apartment/ | 2022-12-24 11:43:24 | nta, obviously, it’s your place and it sounds like you are working from home. does he have a key? you need to take the key back, or change locks, or change the key code. remember this is your place, age doesn’t matter. if he doesn’t have his own place that’s on him. he’s just trying to break you down for being succ... | nta - don’t let him in again. i don’t foresee him respecting you.
info: what’s wrong with his home? | why on earth is he acting like he owns your apartment. you can try having your family talk some sense to him. otherwise just kick him out and do not allow him in ever again.
nta obviously | nta
are you renting? because if so he could actually be putting you at risk of being evicted if there’s a no smoking policy, parties etc
you need to share these concerns with your mom and if that doesn’t stop the problem then you need to change the wifi, change the locks if needs be and if he still turns up then yo... | nta but repeat after me - “hi it’s me, i’m the problem it’s me.”
its pretty obvious you’re not the asshole but you are literally creating this problem for yourself. he doesn’t have a key, has to ring security and you let him in every time. stop letting him in, no one is forcing you. it’s your place, stop letting him i... | nta, he sounds horrible, never let him in your apartment again, call the cops if he breaks in. | nta
stop letting him in!! wtf is wrong with you?? do not let him in. let him go cry to your family. you live on you own op. it doesn't matter!! he's been rude and disrespectful. he can hangout by himself at his own place. | stop answering the door!!! don’t let your uncle in. notify your apartment manager what is going on and that he may make a ruckus. call the police if he refuses to leave. nta | nta. if someone showed up to my place and smoked they would never be allowed back in. if they showed up and (without asking) took my food to cook for themselves that would be the last time they were allowed in as well.
which is to say your uncle has done a lot of things that individually would be a good enough reason... | info: why do you even let him in your house in the first place? does your front door not have a lock somehow? | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | INFO | 0.003 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i (m19) moved out of my mom's place a couple months back because i work & ... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i (m19) moved out of my mom's place a couple months back because i w... |
AITA: For being hurt after not receiving a wedding gift from the in-laws | my (now) wife and i have been together for 15 years, 3 of them married. we were high school sweethearts, and have been together ever since. though the relationship with the inlaws was difficult at first, it seems that i was an accepted member of the family.
at the time of our wedding, we both decided that we wanted to... | 647 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/bwcx1k/aita_for_being_hurt_after_not_receiving_a_wedding/ | 2019-06-03 16:50:24 | nta, not because you didn't receive a gift, but because they stole all of your leftover alcohol. the fuck? | tough to judge as in my family there is a famous story of at the next funeral my grandfather put on his suit and discovered he didn’t leave the envelope at the previous wedding. boy was my grandma pissed at him. her apology tour took weeks to track everyone down as this was in the 60s. | info. i'm certainly leaning towards nta, but did they pay for any portion of the wedding or did you guys cover the whole 10k yourselves? sometimes wedding planning and the logistics can get really stressful. i don't think i have a card or anything from my folks from my wedding - but they were a significant help duri... | nta: i don't think it's unfair to be a little hurt that they didn't even get you a card. without knowing anymore of the context i can't find you at fault (at all). do you know if this normal behavior for them? | info: did they offer any money toward the wedding at all? like bought the bouquet or something? it's pretty unusual and hurtful not to give some sort of gift!!! (but if they offered or gave money towards the wedding, that could be considered their gift). | info the way your story is told, its hard to tell if they contributed to the wedding expenses. you only specifically state that you bought the liquor, the rest is cagey. "didn't see the value in spending"... your money?
you've also left out religious concerns or cultural expectations. you may not be certain of their... | nta - that’s incredibly disrespectful of your inlaws. i think expecting at least a card is a reasonable expectation for your wedding | nta - but *you* should absolutely not be the one to bring this up with them. i don't think your wife would be out of line to say something like "hey, we were opening presents and writing thank you notes and we can't find yours. just want to make sure it didn't get lost or stolen." | info:
is there a possibility it got lost or stolen? if it's a card , those can easily fall behind a seat or something.
i'm suggesting stolen because someone stole a wedding gift at my parent's wedding. the only reason my parent's found out is because a very offended guest wondered where their thank you card was lik... | nta - it's not about the present, but if you can't get even a "congratulations! " card, it sucks. | NTA | null | INFO | NTA | INFO | INFO | NTA | NTA | INFO | NTA | 0.098154 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: my (now) wife and i have been together for 15 years, 3 of them married. we wer... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
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my (now) wife and i have been together for 15 years, 3 of them marri... |
AITA for snapping at my BF after he deliberately tried sabotaging my weight loss repetitively? | so i'm 28f and he is 29m. i have gained a bunch of weight since quarantine and started feeling really disgusted with myself so i started the keto diet about a month ago. it has been a rollercoaster since that point because i have found that even while i know i need to lose weight, i absolutely hate dieting. so needless... | 3,791 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/idc7q0/aita_for_snapping_at_my_bf_after_he_deliberately/ | 2020-08-20 15:19:35 | nta - he is not being supportive and shows it hourly/daily. you can lose a bunch of unnecessary weight by dumping his ass. keep on keto - i've lost 50 pounds and still cheat on some things every once in a while. good luck | nta and your boyfriend is a feeder. he wants to keep you fat. he'd rather see you die young as long as he doesn't have to deal with his own insecurities.
run, do not walk away from this man. | nta. i want to tell you i’m proud of you for taking charge of your health. your boyfriend is being extremely selfish when this is a time you need his support. i would try to sit him down, and try to cut through the bull and see why he’s doing this. i suspect it’s because he doesn’t want others to find you attractive on... | nta. your boyfriend is being cruel and manipulative. he sounds like real weight you have to lose. | nta - going to gently say that you said it yourself that the dieting has made you irritable so it’s possible that contributed to your reaction, but he is definitely being ta here. you have goals you want to achieve and they are not goals that will be of detriment to your health. not only is he being unsupportive but h... | please dump this trash human. nta. you deserve someone who is your biggest cheerleader, fan, and support system. | nta. your bf is being unsupportive and should have some compassion when you’re struggling with your mood. however, if the diet plan you’ve chosen is making you miserable, maybe it isn’t the best one for you.
dieting isn’t easy...i lost 95 lbs over the last 18 months and it was a constant effort! but i was never miser... | nta, it seems your boyfriend is a feeder, they are people who have a fetish about overweight/obese partners and use various means and ploys to make them eat including gaslighting, emotional blackmail etc. they are highly manipulative and your boyfriend seems to meet the text book definition. i would suggest you start... | nta for snapping at him, but please be aware that certain dieting techniques can lead to eating disorders. fasting isn’t realistic in a healthy lifestyle and he may just be concerned. he’s definitely going about it in the wrong way though. | nta - while you may be taking the weight loss attempts to an extreme, it doesn't sound like he is trying to get in the way out of "concern" - it sounds like deliberate sabotage, especially considering both your desire to lose weight and the need from a health standpoint (not trying to bodyshame by any means). speaking ... | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: so i'm 28f and he is 29m. i have gained a bunch of weight since quarantine and... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
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so i'm 28f and he is 29m. i have gained a bunch of weight since quar... |
AITA for telling a kid about dogs anal glands? | my friend is really upset with me but i don’t think what i did was too bad.
i have two dogs and needed to take them to the vets to get their anal glands emptied. my friend and her kid, who is 8, was visiting me and i told them i can’t meet them the next day due to the vet visit. the kid got worried and upset that the ... | 1,883 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/t10waa/aita_for_telling_a_kid_about_dogs_anal_glands/ | 2022-02-25 10:31:33 | nta.
you were clear and factual, what more does your friend want. surely they don't want you to lie to their children? | nta. 8 is in no way too young to learn about these things. who knows? the kid might grow up to be a vet. | nta.
that was a very age appropriate answer. kids ask questions - as long as we give factual age appropriate answers to them - there is no reason to lie. it's a part of life. your friend is an idiot. | you just piqued her kid's interest in medical science, what is she complaining about? nta. but all jokes aside, it's not an inappropriate subject for an 8 year old. i wonder why she was so uncomfortable with having to answer the questions that came up. maybe she was just having a stressful day already?
also, have ... | oh look, a parent who's inconvenienced by their curious child wanting to learn and asking questions. how rare. nta. | nta the kid asked you a question because they were worried about your dog and you told them the facts to help settle their mind | heck no! if the kid lived on a farm, chances are they'd already have seen a vet shoulder-deep in a cow's arse. it's never too young to learn science (or animal husbandry for that matter).
nta. | nta. i got in trouble with my friend when her daughter asked why her cat was wiggling her bum in the air and being weird and bleeding on the floor. retrospectively i shouldn't have just said "she's in heat" because yes, that does open up a can of worms if you still haven't had the talk with your 11yo daughter.
however... | it's unsavory but not inherently offensive. not sure why your pal is upset. kids are sponges who'll soak up as much information as you give them. it's never a bad thing to expand their knowledge about the world, at any age.
nta | nta - this legit made me laugh out loud. 'do they do it to humans?' hahaha ahh kids are great. you were factual and honest and helped the kid understand that your dogs weren't unwell or unhappy, that it's fairly normal and that it's all ok. good for them to know if they ever get a dog 🐕 | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: my friend is really upset with me but i don’t think what i did was too bad. i ... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
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my friend is really upset with me but i don’t think what i did was t... |
AITA for not noticing which pairs of underwear my girlfriend wears for comfort and which she goes to work in? | ** | 1,586 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/fx7s6o/aita_for_not_noticing_which_pairs_of_underwear_my/ | 2020-04-08 14:49:46 | nta that’s so petty. and also, if she knows she’s running out of particular clean undergarments she prefers to wear then she should be making sure she gets those clean. | why did you have to go searching for her underwear like some kind of easter egg hunt??? why weren’t they just in the hamper.
nta | nta. she asked for underwear. you washed underwear. if she needed something more specific, she should have been more specific. it sounds like this is bigger than underwear, though, so see what you can do to get her to open up about why she's feeling taken for granted and what you can do to fix that without having t... | edited to nta
she asked for you to clean as many pairs as you could find, and you found 6 pairs. does she not have many pairs of underwear, was she hiding them, or are you shit at finding them?
not ta for not knowing she has "sleep underwear" and "work underwear", but i think the issue is basically "whose fault is it... | nta. i mean.... honestly that's just kind of weird. i know many women have "sexy" and "regular" underwear because those lacy scraps are usually not all that comfortable, and some have "period" underwear. but i've not ever heard of "work" and "sleeping" underwear. i'm kind of curious about what the difference is.
also,... | this is weird. nta. | i'm not one to call women crazy, but dude, *that's crazy*. | info - does she purposely hide her underwear....i’m confused on how some underwear was missed
nta - get a hamper | nta. google emotional abuse to learn more about your relationship. this relationship is not about her love, but her control. from reading your other comments, realize nothing you do is enough. the bar just gets raised, the more you deliver. it’s a power move. she began today with a put down, “did you even wash my under... | nta.
dirty clothes belong in a hamper. it’s her fault for not putting her dirty underwear there. also, not a big deal you weren’t sure which were her work undies and which were her lounging pairs.
sometimes there’s a difference you can notice, like maybe she wears thongs to work but sleeps in briefs, but still, i w... | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | INFO | NTA | NTA | 0.00388 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: ** | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
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** [/INST] nta that’s so petty. and also, if she knows she’s running... |
AITA for saying I'd run away if drafted? | before i start, i'd just like to say i respect the hell out of military men and women who put their lives on the line for me and people like me.
i was sitting with two buddies of mine, both male, one's girlfriend, and her female friend. somehow we got on the topic of selective service. both of my buddies said if they ... | 246 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/bd8gsc/aita_for_saying_id_run_away_if_drafted/ | 2019-04-14 22:24:00 | nta. you didn’t say anything derogatory against anyone else and shared a reasonable opinion. i wouldn’t worry about it, especially since your friends were fine with it. | nta.
your morals and ethics are yours and you don't have to apologize to anyone for them. | nah. you're entitled to this position, other people are entitled to judge you for it. | nta.
would of been interesting to hear what the two women would of done if they were called to service. | [deleted] | nta, you are just smarter. | nta
took me a while to decide on this one. i think you'd be better off saying you'd be a conscientious objecter.
i disagree with you personally but you're free to believe what you want and it was kinda dickish of your friends. | nta, compulsory service is disgusting. | nta. war is almost never worth dying for. perfect most recent example is iraq. a whole administration of chicken hawk draft dodgers sending young americans in their prime of life to be maimed and slaughtered | nta
it's especially ridiculous that the girlfriend called you a coward when she doesn't even have to register for selective service. why doesn't she join the military to get shipped off to some shithole desert in order to enrich general dynamics or whatever other government contractor? | NTA | NTA | NAH | NTA | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0.000485 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: before i start, i'd just like to say i respect the hell out of military men an... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
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before i start, i'd just like to say i respect the hell out of milit... |
AITA for not taking down my GoFundMe? | i've been doubting myself over this one, so here we go. i'm a 19 year old student, and i've lived away from home for about a year. since i turned 18 i've developed 2 chronic illnesses, endometriosis and chronic fatigue syndrome, meaning i need to use mobility aids. i was very lucky in december of last year to have a fr... | 1,038 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/if1qqk/aita_for_not_taking_down_my_gofundme/ | 2020-08-23 11:41:06 | nta - if he's so worried about it then he should pay the whole amount and end the matter. funny how he doesn't want to come off as a useless parent but he actually is one, regardless of the money there's so many other ways to offer support to you but he just doesn't care and the only reason this is a big deal is becaus... | [deleted] | info
you used £ in your post so i'm assuming you're in the uk?
why are you crowdfunding instead of going via the nhs? there's schemes available with them and the ccg to help people get access to a personal budget for walking aids and wheelchairs.
i don't think you're ta for making the post and your dad is definite... | nta i am tired of parents and their face saving nonsense. sometimes people need help family cannot provide, and his priority should be your well being, not his public persona. | nta, your dad is embarrassed by his own behavior and rightfully so, but blaming you because he's too self-centered to see past his own nose. | your dad sounds like a pathetic small person. nta but your father should go fuck himself. | nta, the thing is... he is a useless parent. his priorities aren't even straight. he prefers his pride is more important than your well being. | nta.
your dad is a massive ah for making your struggles about him and his feelings and subsequently making you feel guilty! he needs to get over himself and support you however he can, rather than judging you for how you’re supporting yourself and making himself the centre of attention in the process. what a selfish p... | nta. if it’s so easy to find £400, he could easily find the rest of the cost. and i assume that’s not the total cost of the wheelchair anyway? | >he said that "his embarrassment was much worse" than what i was feeling.
as a fellow endo sufferer, i can tell you that there is no amount of secondary embarrassment that could possibly be worse than a flare-up.
nta. it's been great to see both endo and cfs getting more attention in the last few years but unfortu... | NTA | null | INFO | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0.00388 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i've been doubting myself over this one, so here we go. i'm a 19 year old stud... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
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i've been doubting myself over this one, so here we go. i'm a 19 yea... |
WIBTA if I refused to let my out-of-control niece stay over? | i'm visiting my hometown from college and am currently staying with my mom. my [7f] niece has always been a little stubborn, and had some bad eating habits as a toddler, that my sister/her mom never discouraged, but i used to always figure she'd outgrow it eventually, kids are kids.
because of covid i hadn't visited i... | 505 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hfcve9/wibta_if_i_refused_to_let_my_outofcontrol_niece/ | 2020-06-25 00:49:25 | nta - you're definitely not expecting too much from her. my niece (now 9) has been super polite and helpful with things since i can remember. i'm terms of manners, she is a mini adult. she does like to have the attention focused on her and have us play her games with her but is also very able to play by herself and be ... | nta 3 days is a long time to deal with someone else’s unruly child | nta. she’s not your child and seems like her parents are not parenting her. i think this is an argument waiting to happen but it may be beneficial to your niece in the future if you say something. she’s going to grow up to be a nightmare it sounds like and maybe a gentle nudge at her parents will make them parent more.... | info: you're staying at your mother's house. does your mother have an opinion about a 3-day visit from her granddaughter? | nta.
i'd *strongly* avoid the "tell her mom that i will only have her over if she can be better behaved, and less vulgar" avenue: mommy will no doubt get hideously defensive; wildly untrue claims will undoubtedly be made; there's zero chance that kiddo's behavior will improve just because her mother has been told that... | nta, but you should give it a shot. she might surprize you.
i have an out of control nephew, but when he is at my place, or in my vicinity, he is well behaved, because he has learned i take none if his shit. you should let your niece come, and teach her, whats what in this world. you would be surprized to find she ca... | i'd say nta. sounds like the mom isn't worthy of the title. | nta, im currently having similar, although not nearly as extreme, problems with my 7 yr old stepdaughter. it can be a task and a half trying to occupy a child that is raised in such a manner, no matter how much you love them and want the best for them. you can only do what you can handle and there is no shame in being ... | nta - go somewhere else for 3 days. there's no way i would put up with your niece for three days! unless your mom is actually going to discipline your niece get out of dodge! she wants you to do it and it's not your job! you are not there enough to put up with three days of hell all because no one wants to discipline... | nta-seven year olds are old enough to have grasped at least the most basic concept of manners and not acting like a total heathen. it’s not your niece’s fault she’s acting out. it’s her mother’s and unless it’s an emergency let mom deal with her. | NTA | NTA | NTA | INFO | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0.003 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i'm visiting my hometown from college and am currently staying with my mom. my... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
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i'm visiting my hometown from college and am currently staying with ... |
AITA For Not Making Lunches for My Kids When They're With My Ex-Wife? | backstory: i've been divorced 4 years. everything is settled, and we've had a fairly good relationship up until recently. we have equal time with the kids, where they are with me every wednesday and thursday and alternating weekends.
the kids (8 + 10) are going to day camp this summer. as would be normal, whoever has ... | 223 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/vxfh82/aita_for_not_making_lunches_for_my_kids_when/ | 2022-07-12 16:35:51 | nta. she's being petty. | nta and it seems such a non-issue to fight about... are you sure there isn't some underlying issue for her to act this way about monday lunches? | nta
she has them on sunday, and into monday morning. how are you supposed to get lunches to them? the logistics of this make no sense.
although it strikes me that the kids are at an age where teaching them to pack their own lunches the night before would be very appropriate, and a good first lesson in cooking and kit... | nta. i hate this kind of bs with ex's you have kids with. if they are spending sunday nights over there, is she expecting you to bring it to her or something? | nta she has the kids, she has to supply their food while they are under her care. if she’s going to start fussing, then maybe it’s time to reinforce the kids staying at yours on your sundays. | nta this is an exceedingly petty thing to fight over if finances are not an issue. | nta. if this is a common occurrence, where she turns not getting her way into a huge fight, you should look into the “grey rock” method. it’s basically giving a short response without supplying a reason, like “no”, “i disagree”, “nah, i’m good, bruh”, etc. then repeat 2-3 times as needed before ignoring any further mes... | i suspect this isn't about the money, but about the time and hassle. to me the solution is to have the kids help get their lunches and snacks together. i would have been expected to help pack my lunch when i was that age. i realize that expectation and child rearing have changed a lot in 50 years, but learning to be... | null | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | null | null | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: backstory: i've been divorced 4 years. everything is settled, and we've had a ... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
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backstory: i've been divorced 4 years. everything is settled, and we... |
AITA for not telling a stranger my dog’s treats aren’t vegan? | throwaway
i needed to go get my dog’s food at the pet store this morning. i brought my dog because she’s been going to training since my state opened up and it was a great opportunity to bring her there and get some distraction exposure.
while i was there, there was a young woman, maybe early 20s, who was walking ar... | 2,769 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/i66zxk/aita_for_not_telling_a_stranger_my_dogs_treats/ | 2020-08-08 21:16:27 | nta!! why would anyone think dog treats are vegan is beyond me. | nta
i am vegan (sorry to be a stereotype and mention lol) and i buy meat based dog treats for my dog and prepare all his food which has meat or fish in. i am not the one eating it and he eats meat because he is a dog and i feel like i don’t know enough about animal nutrition to not give him food without meat!
if sh... | ha! i would have erupted in laughter... does she think animals don't eat other animals?
**nta** \- her life choices aren't your problem... she's ta for not warning you of her condition | nta dogs are obligate carnivores (as are cats). if you don't assume food for a dog or cat has meat in it, your ignorance is not somebody else's fault. and if you feed a dog or cat a vegan diet then you're an animal abuser (unless there is some very weird situation with a medical need where this is the least bad option,... | nta, it’s her responsibility to ask what’s in it before giving the treat, plus, what about being vegan makes it not ok to touch meat? | nta. as you mentioned, your dog is well a dog and most dog treats are meat based at least. the woman shouldn't accept random food type things from strangers if she's gonna get offended that they have meat in them without saying that she is vegan. | nta
it is not realistic for her to assume you should disclose the ingredients of dog treats to her. if handling meat products is that much of a concern she should know well enough to ask. | nta. she should have asked since it's a big deal to her. it's normal to assume a dog treat would be made with meat. | nta and a giant f*ing eyeroll. who assumes dog treats are vegan? | nta
these kind of reactions are only giving other vegans bad rep. she could have asked what they are herself if she wanted to, but she didn't. she honeatly looks like one of those vegans who judgea everyone who is not one and that is not a healthy way of being. | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: throwaway i needed to go get my dog’s food at the pet store this morning. i br... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
throwaway i needed to go get my dog’s food at the pet store this mor... |
AITA for telling my brother that sometimes people don't want to be around him, and refusing to help with his care? | i (16f) have a little brother who is 6. he is delayed in a bunch of ways so it's been more like having a 2 year old in the house for 4 years. i don't really like kids at the best of times, but it got worse when i was about 13 because my parents forced me to start helping with my brother's care. this was around the same... | 704 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ftqp9c/aita_for_telling_my_brother_that_sometimes_people/ | 2020-04-02 17:38:25 | nta, this is abuse and you should contact cps. you aren’t a slave to take care of your brother. your parents sound awful. | nta. your parents need to take responsibility for their own child, they’re acting like you should raise him instead of them..that’s messed up. you have your own life and your days and hours shouldn’t revolve around him and his round the clock care. i feel sad for you, i hope your parents grow up a bit. he sounds like h... | nta.
tell your parents what they're doing is abuse and threaten to get cps involved. all they're doing is sitting on their ass while you take care of their child.
what happens if you....i don't know....want to move out and have a life someday? are you going to be/pay for his permanent care while they "retire"?
quit... | nta. you're right, you didn't chose to have a child and you shouldn't be responsible for all of his care. it already sounds like you're doing more than enough to help out. it also sounds like you already play with him plenty and kindly and respectfully told him that you needed some time alone. there's nothing wrong wit... | nta
this is a mistake that a lot of parents with special needs kids make. your other children are not free caregivers, are not replacements for professional help, and are still children.
you should try and set boundaries, like locking or using a door stopper on your door so you can have your personal space and pri... | nta, you are not responsible for taking care of a child when you are a child. i would probably classify this as neglect, and i agree with the other poster about cps. | nta and the first chance you get report this shit to your school and other authorities if possible (what country are you in?) because in several this is categorical abuse and neglect from your parents. no i'm not making shit up. they need a reality slap. | info: so, to clarify, you didn’t tell your brother anything and the confrontation was with your parents? | nta please continue to stand up for yourself. you are already doing more than enough. | nta
you didn't have a kid your parents did, its their responsibility to care for the kid, especially hygiene matters.
if this is getting out of hand tell someone like your aunt, uncle or grandparents. | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | INFO | NTA | NTA | 0.003 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i (16f) have a little brother who is 6. he is delayed in a bunch of ways so it... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i (16f) have a little brother who is 6. he is delayed in a bunch of ... |
WIBTA if I tell my parents I don't want to mediate their divorce? | my (19f) parents are divorcing. my father went and did it behind my mother's back, got advice by a lawyer and all, then just handed my mother papers to sign. she doesn't want the divorce but he insist. he's been pressuring her to sign "just to let the court know she received the copy", that it isn't a signature agreein... | 191 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/nron8y/wibta_if_i_tell_my_parents_i_dont_want_to_mediate/ | 2021-06-03 21:34:50 | nta
and your mom needs to not sign anything and get herself her own lawyer asap. | that’s insanely immature and irresponsible of both your parents. as an adult, you need to tell them that this isn’t your business and you will not be further involved if you don’t want to be. nta | nta - tell your mom to go see a lawyer and not to sign anything.
both your parents are jerks for putting you in the middle of there hot mess | nta but it sounds like your dad is trying to use your mother’s naivety against her and force her into signing things she doesn’t understand. you need to help her find a real lawyer. | nta parents are lazy to make you be the go between.
what is the worst thing you have learned out of this? | nta - your mother needs a real lawyer as soon as yesterday! you don't have the know how or experience to help her and she should absolutely not sign anything unless a lawyer looks over those papers. things like who is responsible to have you on their insurance until you're 24, if someone is financially responsible to ... | nta - your dad is an asshole. anyone who is willing to blindside someone with a divorce is a snake. my guess is he is willing to lie and manipulate to get his own way so your mum needs an actual lawyer. he also is the ah for trying to place you in the middle of this and mock you for just trying to help your mum.
your... | nta. “don’t take legal advice from your opponent,” is pretty standard advice. and he become her (legal) opponent basically the moment he asked for a divorce, and especially when he obtained his own attorney. and make no mistake, *his* attorney works for him, and only him, and does not represent her or her interests ... | null | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | null | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: my (19f) parents are divorcing. my father went and did it behind my mother's b... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
my (19f) parents are divorcing. my father went and did it behind my ... |
WIBTA for refusing to go to parties? | when i was turning 25, i planned a massive masquerade party. i asked people almost a year in advance if they would attend if i threw a massive party, it would be expensive and i didn’t want to do something no one showed up to.
everyone i asked said they would show up, they even asked about times, dates and what i want... | 512 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/bl3qgs/wibta_for_refusing_to_go_to_parties/ | 2019-05-05 22:07:26 | nta. they said they would come and then didn't show up, that sucks. as long as you don't mislead them when being invited i don't see any issues with not going to these people's parties. not buying gifts for the friends and family that didn't show is fine too. | nta
it is common courtesy to let someone know of a change of plans. all the people who ditched your party without letting you know that plans have changed, or did not apologize afterwards, behaved rudely. | nta - its really disappointing when you go out of your way to arrange something special and people let you down, thinking mostly of your “radio silence” people. at least the others made an attempt at an excuse/?apology.
you may want to avoid their gatherings for a while, but you know what, life is short. grab joy whe... | nta
&#x200b;
i learned a long time ago that people for some reason will say yes when asked to come to a party simply because they are afraid to say no or even a maybe.
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i planned a nye party with someone (not even a close friend by any means). it was a disaster. i was expecting at least 30 people. o... | nta, it's their choice if they wanted to go to your party, just like it's your choice if you want to go to theirs. you spent lots of time planning your party, and it sucks that people lied about being able to go. there's nothing wrong with not going to their parties. | nta. i'd go with a case by case scenario as some people may have legit reasons. but also just, they knew it meant a lot to you, are they great friends anyway? probably a lot of them aren't so it seems reasonable to not celebrate for people who aren't great friends. | nah. the one rule of big party planning is to overinvite by 500%. only 20% of people ever show up because they believe their absence won't be noticed at a big party | esh. dick move by your friends who rsvpd yes, but throwing spiteful remarks (“hey, now we’re even,”) and staying home just for the sake of trying to make them feel the hurt you felt seems like a pretty big waste of your energy. if you’re truly hurt, have an honest conversation with them about why your feelings are hu... | nta but this isn’t an unfortunate experience the popular avoid either. committing to an event is always a social challenge especially when there is work or money required upfront. people are notoriously flakey. i would chalk one up to an experience and stop harming yourself with vindictive thoughts and energy. being so... | ywbta if you said you were going to come and then cancel at the last moment or just don't show (even if they did it to you).
but if you don't want to go and never said you were going then nta. | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NAH | ESH | NTA | YTA | 0.112 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: when i was turning 25, i planned a massive masquerade party. i asked people al... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
when i was turning 25, i planned a massive masquerade party. i asked... |
AITA for not rushing to my partners aid after he burnt himself on an iron? | so, my partner (43m) has an irritating habit of ironing on the bed. yesterday morning he did this while i (26f) was making him his morning hot drink. i brought the drink to him and said "shouldn't you take the iron off the bed?". he rolled his eyes and said "just fucking leave it out" (he acts as though i'm nagging and... | 174 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/vbag3q/aita_for_not_rushing_to_my_partners_aid_after_he/ | 2022-06-13 11:55:10 | nta. just leave him, he sounds awful in general at best and got the consequences of his idiotic actions. | nta today, but if you are with him tomorrow yta.
he is the iron on the bed and today he burned you.
if he burns you again, that is on you. | nta. maybe you should be alone. better than being with a insecure guy who hates being told what to do by a woman. | he was almost a grown adult when you were born, it's no wonder you can't see eye to eye. this isn't about an iron, this is about massive generational differences. | nta. it's a wonder his insisting on ironing on the bed instead of an ironing board hasn't burned bedding or worse. why on earth would he lay a hot iron on the bed to begin with?! as far as i can see, him getting burned is a consequence of his own actions. | nta - he brought this on himself. there’s a reason that older, abusive (verbally and emotionally), and misogynistic men date younger women. looks like you’re maybe at your breaking point, at 26 you’ve matured past him already. this guy will not improve so you need to decide if this is the life you want. | nta. i'm going to turn your own argument against you in this case, so i apologize in advance. if you know the man treats you horribly, and you continue to allow it, why are you coming to the aita? you need to listen to yourself - you know he is going to "burn" you ... why do you allow it? | nta. and you should leave. | the reason a 43 yo is dating a 26 yo is because a woman his own age won't put up with his shit.
and neither should you. get out! get out and create a happy life for yourself. and never, never give blowjobs to morons. | nta, it sounds like this guy still needs his mummy and his blanky. if he can take his fingers out of his ears for a moment and stop saying 'lalalala' then i would grab the opportunity to inform him, he is dumped and then change the locks. this 'child' is not your responsibility. | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: so, my partner (43m) has an irritating habit of ironing on the bed. yesterday ... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
so, my partner (43m) has an irritating habit of ironing on the bed. ... |
AITA for hesitating to take my boyfriend to the emergency room? | my boyfriend has been to the emergency room 4 times in the last year, each time ended as no real emergency and just elevated blood pressure. among that, he has been to the doctor over very minor occurrences such as leg muscle twitching from sitting in a chair. he has had several anxiety attacks where he claims his hear... | 166 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/uax95n/aita_for_hesitating_to_take_my_boyfriend_to_the/ | 2022-04-24 15:31:26 | nta. i have zero sympathy for someone that doesn’t try. he needs to change his diet, cut out alcohol, exercise, and then we can talk. the rest is drama. | nah bf has psychological and substance abuse problems, and maybe an underlying metabolic problem. he's right that he needs to seek medical care. he's wrong to think that the emergency room is the right place to seek that care. an er doc has to treat the acute symptoms in front of him. he can't treat a chronic conditio... | nta
from this story he clearly is not doing his body any favors and shouldn't be surprised that he doesn't feel well. this really sounds like an addict with acute anxiety that is so bad he can't even 'self-medicate' his way out of it.
addicts don't end well and you will only waste your life trying to take care of th... | he has a real condition for sure! he's suffering with anxiety and would benefit hugely from speaking to a therapist. drinking alcohol is a (bad) coping mechanism. please help him seek help for his mental health.
also drinking water is not going to help in any huge way when he's in the middle of a panic attack | nta. just ask yourself if this is how you want to live the rest of your life | your boyfriend sounds like me about 10 years ago!
i was a barista during the day and a bartender at night--which meant i drank a lot of coffee and booze. and smoked weed and cigarettes constantly. prior to getting those jobs, i'd been homeless for a couple of years after dropping out of college, which happened as the ... | nta. if he wants to call himself an ambulance - and pay for it! - i assume he knows how to use the phone. don't waste your life on a hypochondriac addict. | goddamn your boyfriend sounds annoying, sorry you have to deal with this.
real men consume their drugs and bravely embrace the crippling paranoias and anxieties | nta
your boyfriend has bad anxiety and is self-medicating through alcohol and other drugs (thc in this case.) he will not get better until he gets to the root of the problem, which is treating the anxiety with medication or/and therapy as well as treatment for aud/sud
you cannot force him to do any of that. keeping t... | null | NTA | NAH | NTA | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | NTA | null | 0.000893 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: my boyfriend has been to the emergency room 4 times in the last year, each tim... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
my boyfriend has been to the emergency room 4 times in the last year... |
AITA for saying I won't go to therapy anymore? | this is the deal: my sister (14f) and i (17m) have been in therapy together for 6 months now. we were close when she was little and then our mom died and our dad remarried. my sister adores dad's wife and called her mom from almost the beginning and then she later adopted her. dad's wife wanted to adopt me too but i di... | 1,829 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/z6wjkw/aita_for_saying_i_wont_go_to_therapy_anymore/ | 2022-11-28 13:26:14 | nta, but since the therapist is on your side here, maybe you can enlist their help in convincing your dad that your sister is the one who needs to come to terms with it being okay for you two to have different feelings on this, and that individual therapy might help get to the root of why she can’t let it go. | nta - your parents are mis-using therapy to try to bend you to their will. there is nothing wrong with you still not feeling as close to your step as you do to your bio mom. | use therapy to help your sister and dad understand and come to terms with your decision. it seems both therapists were on your side!
nta | nta, fact of the matter is, if your dad remarried when she was 6, she probably doesn't remember your real mom at all, but you definitely do.
you both aren't that far off in years in the grand scheme of things, but in regards to those years of cognitive memory development, you two are aeons apart.
i would just say t... | nta.
your sis and dad are cruel for emotionally manipulating you.
they can't even have an open mind to what your therapists said.
it's not your choice your dad remarried that women, but it is your choice to call her mom or not.
continue the therapy yourself for the emotional scars **they** have made. try to get... | nta but would encourage you to switch to private individual therapy where you can have privacy & confidentiality regarding your inner world & validation with your boundaries. also you don't need to an emotional open book to people who disrespect your boundaries. | >we're on our second therapist but therapy doesn't help. my sister has talked about how much more secure she would feel if i called our stepmother mom and how much it hurts her that i don't love the woman to embraced us and how she feels like we're less siblings because of it.
you're not obkigsted to ignore your fe... | nta talk to the therapist and ask if a session with the whole family will help them understand it’s okay for you stand your ground. the therapist should help them understand pushing you to bend to your sister’s will is hurting your relationship. | nta. your sister needs therapy for sure though. she's projecting her own hurt about losing her mamma onto you. if you accept a new mom, then she can ignore the old one. request a solo therapist or ask the therapist to meet with you separately from your sister.
dad, however?? he needs to back off or he will lose you. ... | nta. relationships go both ways, you have to respect each others feelings & opinions. your sister just wants things her way, or no way at all. so, it's no way at all... period. you can't be forced to therapy if she's not willing to listen. she does not validate your feelings, sounds to me like she needs the th... | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: this is the deal: my sister (14f) and i (17m) have been in therapy together fo... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
this is the deal: my sister (14f) and i (17m) have been in therapy t... |
AITA For Upsetting My Pregnant Sister? | so... this is a really odd situation, for me personally, but somehow i'm the bad guy in all of this.
this involves me (28f), my sister (34) and my mum (55).
as a bit of info to add, my sister basically only ever speaks to our mum when she wants something, i.e; money or stuff for her kids. my mum has complained to me ... | 2,471 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/oduq5s/aita_for_upsetting_my_pregnant_sister/ | 2021-07-04 22:42:40 | nta. i totally understand why you started crying. it's not silly at all to be hurt by thinking someone was caring about you only to find out that they just wanted something from you. she got upset because manipulating you didn't work, and so she's trying a different way to manipulate you. stand your ground and know tha... | nta. your mother enables your sister's behavior to "keep the peace." you're not an a-hole for refusing to as well. besides, can't really say peace is being kept if people have to walk on eggshells just to prevent your sister from going off the rails.
by the way, your feelings aren't stupid. this is a rough situation ... | nta. i would stand your ground here because you deserve better than to be used like that. that's honestly heartbreaking that she feigned interest in how you're doing before cutting straight to the chase. she was probably hoping to play on your compassion, sympathy, and love, hoping that her feigned interest would softe... | nta. turn it around.
your sister should be asking “aita for only contacting my sister because she had a free voucher i could use, and then being passive-aggressive towards when she cried? she thought i was only contacting her to get something, and i was, but it pissed me off that she was right so i complained to our... | nta
moochers always play victim when getting called out.
i would rather flush the voucher in the toilet than give it to an entitled woman like her.
and your mom is enabling that behaviour, so the next time she cries to you bout her, tell her she is partly to blame for how her daughter is and she's reaping what sh... | nta your sister's motive couldn't be more transparent. your mother was so wrong to put you in that position in order to ingratiate herself with your sister. | nta
if you’ve felt she hasn’t made the effort with you over the years, especially if you’ve had a tough time then it’s totally reasonable to be upset when she only gets in touch for something that benefits her.
your mum likely wants to keep the peace and doesn’t want her daughters fighting, however i wonder if she kn... | nta. your sister sounds like a really selfish person. | i can promise you that just because a woman is pregnant does not mean that she is untouchable. you're allowed to express your emotions to her and what you said was actually not bad. it was blunt but you didn't say anything bad. her crying doesn't mean you did anything wrong. pregnant women are not so fragile that they ... | nta, maybe your mum is siding with your sister so your sister doesn't distance from her anymore than she already has. it's her way of staying on your sister's good side. but it isn't acceptable behaviour. i don't mind people asking me for favours, but hell make some effort before asking. especially if we haven't spoken... | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: so... this is a really odd situation, for me personally, but somehow i'm the b... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
so... this is a really odd situation, for me personally, but somehow... |
WIBTA For Not Paying For My Son's Art College? | i (52m) have one son (17m) and one daughter (30f).
my daughter graduated from her local university with a masters degree in bushiness and has a small start-up that has grown quite tremendously. she is engaged, and the major breadwinner in her relationship, which makes me quite proud!
my son on the other hand... he is... | 3,151 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/gwnouc/wibta_for_not_paying_for_my_sons_art_college/ | 2020-06-04 18:57:33 | yta you're controlling and it sounds like you've been this way for a long time. it doesn't matter that you failed at your art career. maybe he'll succeed, maybe he'll fail. but being forced to study sth he has no interest in wont help him and having to take on a bunch of debt to follow his dream also wont help him. you... | yta
you're exactly what he called you. **you don't get to decide his future**, and shame on you for shaming him for his life choice. | yta. the fact of the matter is that you're projecting your failures onto your son. if you genuinely want to see him succeed make sure he knows that going to school for art is more about the connections you make than anything.
there are tons of employed artists who make more than enough to survive. depending on what a... | yta
all you are going to accomplish is to make your son hate you.
art can be a viable career path. just because you failed does not mean that he is going to.
also, you could encourage him to develop marketable skills while still studying art. but now, he will take no guidance from you. | yta. you should support your child in whatever career choice they may want. you can’t pay for one kid and tell your other kid no. you might not have been successful, but that doesn’t mean that he won’t be. especially when you made the promise earlier to pay for his education. | i love the end i don't want to be controlling, but you are being very controlling. yta let him pursue is passion. if he fails and didn't listen to you than he has to pay his own way. if this is how he wants to spend is one free try let him. and based on your wording it sounds like you love your daughter more and show i... | null | null | null | null | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | null | null | null | null | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i (52m) have one son (17m) and one daughter (30f). my daughter graduated from ... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i (52m) have one son (17m) and one daughter (30f). my daughter gradu... |
WIBTAH If I Block my Grandmas Catfish From Her Phone | i (f18) found out about a man my grandma (70) met through words with friends semi on accident. i was texting somebody for her and exited out, and saw a read text from a man (lets call him jim) with a lot of kissy emojis, hearts, and roses. we have no jims in our family and she has no friends named jim. out of curiosity... | 254 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/f55cet/wibtah_if_i_block_my_grandmas_catfish_from_her/ | 2020-02-17 07:46:15 | nta, please delete and block him, i would do the exact same for my nan | i'd contact him directly and let him know i was onto his bs and reporting him to the police if he didnt disappear immediately and keep my name out his mouth. i'm 39, my moms 70 in september...rough situation. my mom isnt senile in any way or the personality for this and i doubt i'd deal with this at least now, but you ... | nta legally, you are in he wrong. morally, you are totally in he right. these guys are sometimes not even just regular lowlifes, but sometimes work for terrorist organizations. and people like your grandma are so starved for love that they will do anything. please block his number. you might wanna call the cops too. | i worked for a bank once and we had a customer, i'll call her a that had about $200k in her savings account. she was in her 70s and i dont think ever married. she would come in twice a week and we would chat and she was just really sweet and very lonely.
one day, she came in and withdrew 2,000 to do a western unio... | nta for wanting to do it but you can't it will fix nothing and destroy trust between you and your gran. whoever this is will just text her off a new number and they will quickly figure out what has happened. can you talk to your folks or an aunt/uncle about this? or admit to your gran what you saw and tell her your co... | null | null | null | null | null | NTA | null | NTA | null | NTA | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i (f18) found out about a man my grandma (70) met through words with friends s... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i (f18) found out about a man my grandma (70) met through words with... |
AITA for telling my MIL that phones work both ways | my relationship with my mil has been very rocky since right before i gave birth. due to the circumstances going on in my country/state/county i have seen very very little of her this past year. during this time i’ve been in therapy and have really come to terms with the relationship i have with my husbands family, pret... | 185 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/leg94l/aita_for_telling_my_mil_that_phones_work_both_ways/ | 2021-02-07 05:29:02 | nta. even without the whole background story it can’t be up to you only to foster a relationship between your daughter and anyone even grandparents. if your mil wanted to see her granddaughter so much she could have reached out earlier. | nta, i wouldn’t visit again for a very long time. | nta
never pick that rope back up. | nta. if your mil wants to see you guys more, she shouldn’t spend the time she has with you being a nasty and exhausting human being. tell your husband to check his mom because you’re dealing with a baby already and you don’t need to deal with a second one calling you to scream into the phone and hang up. | null | null | null | null | null | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: my relationship with my mil has been very rocky since right before i gave birt... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
my relationship with my mil has been very rocky since right before i... |
AITA for telling everyone that my husband sold all my baby shower gifts? |
i've (27) been with my husband (32) for 3 years, we're expecting our first baby together.
long story short, my family and friends decided to throw me a baby shower and brought me a variety of gifts which consisted mainly of baby care essentials. i stored everything in the storage area but woke up the next day and th... | 11,806 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/tfj4d6/aita_for_telling_everyone_that_my_husband_sold/ | 2022-03-16 14:37:54 | nta, and find yourself a good divorce lawyer. | [deleted] | sincerely hoping this is a troll, because, if not, you are deeply lost if you can entertain even more a minute that you might be the asshole here.
he even knows he is the asshole here, or he wouldn’t have gone out in secret to sell his family’s goods to get parts for his buddy’s mystery machine. he just doesn’t care.... | so your husband took all of your child's gifts and sold them because he wanted to to take himself on a trip with his buddy?
reread that op.
your husband, stole gifts from your child. then sold them so he could have the money for himself!
that is so messed up. it's infuriating and no it's not okay.
you had absolutel... | nta half the gifts are his? um, no. all of the gifts are the baby’s. and he took all of them, not just the half he stupidly claimed were his. your husband does not seem to want to provide for his child. he does not prioritize your family over his friends. he needs to reimburse you for all the gifts and find a new place... | info:
how exactly do you “fix your mistake?” does he want you to lie to everyone about what he did? i’m genuinely curious. | nta. sounds like you’re in a relationship with a 14 year old boy. and i promise, he’s going to stay that way for a long time. | he ruined his own reputation. there’s no way to spin this that doesn’t make him look like a major, major loser. he didn’t want to be excluded from the trip? he’s about to be excluded from his marriage and possibly his kid’s life.
nta. | nta leave him he’s absolutely terrible | this has to be fake. no one in their right mind would sell baby shower gifts. nta but also, why have a child with someone so selfish and greedy? abort mission lol | NTA | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | INFO | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0.00388 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i've (27) been with my husband (32) for 3 years, we're expecting our first ba... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i've (27) been with my husband (32) for 3 years, we're expecting ou... |
AITA for telling everyone my stepsister is a liar and turning her friends against her? | this was a few years ago in high school when my stepsister (f19), we’ll call her “t,” and i (f19) went to the same school. when i was 15 i transferred to a new duel-enrollment charter school where i completed high school classes as well as attended college classes. not long after starting, my stepmom really enjoyed the... | 1,135 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hwwu6b/aita_for_telling_everyone_my_stepsister_is_a_liar/ | 2020-07-24 06:32:42 | nta - and your step-mom is quit the a h. she really bulldozed that problem out of her daughters way.
never ever ever feel guilty for thinking less of her. she really screwed you here. | nta coming from someone who had problems of being a pathological liar as a kid, and having to put a lot of time and energy into stopping myself from lying out of my ass. it's a very steep slope, if you know you can get away with the smaller things you slowly start getting more and more complex to wear it "doesn't effec... | nta. constantly lying to people will make them trust you less and make you seem extremely fake. mom made a mountain out of a molehill. | nta
but your stepsister and stepmom are.
so your stepssister got excluded because she's a pathological liar, and instead of your stepmom taking it serious and taking her to a therapist. she blamed you for calling her out and exposing her lies, and made you look like the pariah??
wow. and your dad is a gross human b... | nta- my husband and i stopped hanging out with a person recently because they kept lying about small things. why would you want to be friends with someone that you can’t trust anything then say, no matter how small ?
i’m sorry you had that happen to you, this situation wasn’t handled properly. but also, depending on ... | nta
like what was your stepmom even thinking?! honestly i would be really wary of both your stepmom and stepsister. stepsister lies continuously and the stepmom enables it and supports her 100% not even considering another person's view point. and they were the reason you graduated without friends?!
their behaviour b... | nta // sounds like your stepmom ended up being the biggest ah here | nta. i am so sorry you lost your friend group because of this.
please tell me those college applications were for schools that were far away and that you deal with these people as little as possible? also, if she’ll lie about small stuff, she’ll lie about anything. i would not leave anyone you bring home to meet your... | nta. compulsive lying. it doesn't end well, she'll keep doing it. run while you can. | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: this was a few years ago in high school when my stepsister (f19), we’ll call h... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
this was a few years ago in high school when my stepsister (f19), we... |
AITA for not wanting my grandmother in my life? | i (20f) am the youngest of 3 (26f / 25m) and my grandmother has always shown favoritism for my other siblings over me. we all have different fathers and my gm disliked my father the most so i guess she took that out on me. for example, one day my parents had to work and there was no baby sitter other than my gm. i was ... | 349 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/b02xmy/aita_for_not_wanting_my_grandmother_in_my_life/ | 2019-03-12 03:27:36 | nta. it's your life, you get to choose who is and isn't in it. | nta.
i'm tempted to write info. has grams reached out to you at all asking for forgiveness or offering an apology? has there been any acknowledgement of wrongdoing on her part?
if the answer to both is no, and you feel very confident that she is reaching out only to alleviate her own sense of loneliness, then you do ... | nta. the adage "you reap what you sow" is so appropriate here. minimize your interactions with her and, don't get suckered into situations where you will have to be around her. block her number. but tell her that you forgive her for how badly she treated you over the years...but you're not interested in having any type... | nta. i have a grandmother like this. played favorites and in general is just a manipulative narcissist. i tried to give her one more chance with my own kid’s 1st birthday party, but she started over again with the game of favorites (she had three great grandchildren within one year, her only ones so far too) and so i’v... | nta - she has been cruel to you since you were a young child. just because she's family doesn't mean you have to include her in your life. making the decision to remove her from it is completely justified, in my opinion. | [deleted] | nta - if you can forgive her and show her love in her old age then great. if not, then cut her out of your life and great. whatever you do, just commit. you've done nothing wrong, and asshole relatives don't deserve to be treated like family after they've made it clear they wont treat you like family- which she certain... | nta- i agree with you, that's your special day if she was not there for you in the past why should she be there to enjoy your benefits? to take advantage of what you could give her? or become a caregiver - walk across that stage proudly and leave her to enjoy karana. | nta
i have a step grandmother like this. every christmas i got sub-par gifts. whenever i had a choir concert (something my grandfather and i were both fond of) she would fain an illness so he couldn't go. then at the end of my grandfather's life she kicked me and my brother out of his hospital room after five minutes ... | nta, screw her. love is earned not given. she needs to ask for forgiveness before she starts acting differently. she needs to acknowledge what she did, at the very least say, i know i wasn't the best grandma but i want to change, or something. i wouldn't want her around either. | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i (20f) am the youngest of 3 (26f / 25m) and my grandmother has always shown f... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i (20f) am the youngest of 3 (26f / 25m) and my grandmother has alwa... |
WIBTA for telling my sister I can’t help her cope with her divorce anymore | i (24f) am starting to grow resentful towards my sister(26f) again. it wasn’t until recently that our relationship had gotten better, until today. my sister has been going through a divorce since december and my boyfriend and i have been there for her as much as possible- letting her come over every weekend. she’s a ve... | 948 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/t3jbbx/wibta_for_telling_my_sister_i_cant_help_her_cope/ | 2022-02-28 16:20:37 | nta, but honestly it's up to you to set boundaries and stick to them. the precedent has been set that whenever she wants emotional support, you will give it to her without hesitation, so why would she expect anything else?
it's not easy to break these patterns, but i have faith that you can do it. i'm sorry for your... | nta.
good grief, girl, take some time and mourn. your sister is a selfish, *childish* asshole. yes, divorce is difficult, but so is losing a pet! a pet that you had for 15 years, mind you. that dog has been with you since you were a *child*. you need to mourn.
next time your sister calls, don't pick up. in fa... | "well, at least she went peacefully" meh, she's not making light. that's just shit people say when they have no idea what else to say.
ugh, your sister sounds like an emotional vampire and requires some very explicit boundaries set around her.
"24 hours- after my dog passed she was crying about being called childis... | wow! wnbta. she is so self absorbed that she hasn't even considered that you might need some support. losing your dog is such a difficult thing to go through. i'm so sorry that you and your bf lost your long time "babies" you need to take the time for yourself to properly grieve. perhaps if you're both in agreement, y... | you will do a lot more for your relationship by being honest and making some space for yourselves now, than letting her keep blithely using up your goodwill like this, until you come to breaking point - and it doesn’t seem far off.
she’s so caught up in what she’s going through that she’s stopped being able to see any... | nta - it's incredibly important to take time and space for your mental health when you need it, and you two absolutely need it. just be honest with her. let her know you love her but you need some alone time to grieve. however she feels/reacts is not your problem right now. | nta. your sister is an energy vampire. go lc, ignore her calls and focus on healing. | nta kind of feel her ex has a point calling her childish and he's well out of it. probably best not tell her that though. take time away from her to mourn your loss | null | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | null | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i (24f) am starting to grow resentful towards my sister(26f) again. it wasn’t ... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i (24f) am starting to grow resentful towards my sister(26f) again. ... |
AITA for calling my ex? | my ex and i have shared custody of our 14yo daughter. my exes family is filthy rich. he doesn't have anything. he has never worked in his entire life and doesn't own anything but his dad gives him a home, a car and enough money to live a luxury life which is why while he has a lot more money than me, i ended up being t... | 466 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zbou2m/aita_for_calling_my_ex/ | 2022-12-03 19:50:00 | nta. so it sounds like your child support is court ordered based on income, but he technically doesn’t have any reportable wages because his parents still pay for everything for him, and he’s doing well lazing around, presuming you’re a reliable narrator . that’s a drag for you for sure. you’re working, trying to make... | i’m gonna say nta. if you guys have equal custody but he gets child support because he doesn’t work and you do but he’s a essentially a loaded trust fund baby, i think it’s immoral to take the money from you. but then when he’s doing that, knowing that it limits what you can provide for your daughter and says “oh, inst... | nta, if he really doesn't need the money then he should have the decency to not accept it if you do need it. | nta. suddenly remembering and needing things last minute comes as part of being a parent. it's frustrating as all else, and it can be a parenting point where you let kid go without if it's a common issue. he should know this is the norm as a parent regardless of who agreed to pay for what. | going to say nta since this is an established agreement between the two of you. | ooh girl i thought i had it bad with my daughters father. this is a whole new level of rage inducing bullshit. definitely nta fuck him | nta you need to start documenting everything he has in his life and let the courts know so they understand that he’s not just broke and his family is funding his life | nta, it sounds like you are dating rob kardashian jr 😀 | can you get a better lawyer who shows the judge that while your ex doesn't have an income, he lives in a nice house, has a car and a swanky lifestyle? it might be worth the cost of a better lawyer if it can reduce the child support. | nta. if you were ta you'd have called the inland revenue and anonymously informed them that someone claiming no income is living a luxury lifestyle. even if it is legal the audit would be a pain... | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: my ex and i have shared custody of our 14yo daughter. my exes family is filthy... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
my ex and i have shared custody of our 14yo daughter. my exes family... |
WIBTA if had my maternal grandfather walk me down the aisle. | my parents divorced when i was below the age 5 leaving my mom with me and my 3 siblings and she moved back in my grandparents. i don’t hold that against him, some relationships don’t work, it’s what he did afterwards that i resent.
he would talk to us over the phone on our birthday and christmas. he lived in a differ... | 325 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ew7sfz/wibta_if_had_my_maternal_grandfather_walk_me_down/ | 2020-01-30 16:15:57 | nta.
your wedding, your choice. | nta. your sperm donor sounds like an asshole and that he didn't earn the role. | nta. he's not entitled to walking you down the isle. still, i don't think it was a very tactical move on your part to drop that when marriage doesn't even seem to be in your near future. it's your choice though, and i have a feeling you won't let yourself get bullied into changing your mind. | nta. walking your child down the aisle is an *honor*, not a job. yes, there's a bunch of patriarchal history as to why it's done, but in our current society, it's mostly done to honor the relationship between parent figure and child. "this is who i came from, who raised me to be the person who's marrying you."
you get... | nta he wasn't there for you from the start. the father should walk his daughter down the isle but if he isn't able then the father figure steps up. | nta
>he also insulted my boyfriend saying that the relationship couldn’t work because he was autistic and not exactly high functioning.
i dont get this tactic?
you insult someone for not doing something you want, thinking it will help ur case? | nta because you get to decide who walks you down the aisle. that said, bringing it up when you aren't planning a wedding is just throwing out an insult to someone, and that's fine, but just be honest about what you were doing. you said it to hurt him, mission accomplished, but this really has nothing to do with a wed... | nta. your wedding, your decision. | nta. if it’s your grandfather who has been the father figure in your life then you have the right to ask him to walk you down the aisle. | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: my parents divorced when i was below the age 5 leaving my mom with me and my 3... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
my parents divorced when i was below the age 5 leaving my mom with m... |
WIBTA if I decided to rent a flat for myself when my best friend and his gf have considered it their "dream place" and they want it? | ok, so all my other friends think ita for going ahead with this but i disagree.
me, my friend and his gf are all living in the same house right now as housemates, but our contract soon runs out so we have to look for new places.
i've been looking tirelessly for the best part of 5 months, i've viewed at least 30 pro... | 7,043 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cdyd0y/wibta_if_i_decided_to_rent_a_flat_for_myself_when/ | 2019-07-16 15:14:34 | nta and there is no guarantee they would get the place if you turned it down anyway. | nta. they applied right? well too bad if they got rejected. too bad anyway.keep your new place and congrats. | nta. here’s a little anecdotal story.
a little more than a year ago a req opened within the department i work for. the promotion came with a roughly 10k salary increase but largely carried the same duties, as it was a promotion to a more senior engineering position. i saw this position posted online and i applied. a ... | nta. you both applied, you got it. there were no underhanded tactics. you'd looked at dozens of places, and this one suit best.
you both want something. why should you be expected to give it up and hand it to them when they clearly wouldn't do the same for you? when they are showing only willingness to do the exact op... | nta - you found the place. you applied for the place. you were accepted not them. they can’t force you out of it just because you got it instead of them. | nta
you saw and applied for it independently to them, your application was accepted, and it isn't even like you had a second choice that you were considering. your friends are being unreasonable and pushy.
get the apartment you want. | [deleted] | nta. the landlord picked you, you want it. | nta. they’re trying to pull couple’s privilege and it’s not okay. i hate house-hunting and i’m sure they feel sad, but you found and applied for this one fair and square. you didn’t even know they wanted it. | nta imo but if you do decide to go through with living there it’s gonna probably negatively impact your relationship with that couple. tho i don’t think it’s fair of them to tell you to give up the place you were chosen for. who’s to say they were on that landlord’s list as next if you decline? | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: ok, so all my other friends think ita for going ahead with this but i disagree... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
ok, so all my other friends think ita for going ahead with this but ... |
AITA for hanging up on my mum when she called me telling me she needed my help? | 4,377 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ohflgw/aita_for_hanging_up_on_my_mum_when_she_called_me/ | 2021-07-10 09:28:45 | nta
wth. of course not. you are not the ah. as an adult, she can pack her own bags like any normal people do. 🙄 | you are most definitely nta. your mom could have help from your brother but doesn’t want to inconvenience him. you’re stuck in a hospital but that’s not as good a reason as having pans with friends? your mom needs to sort out her priorities.
rest, sleep a lot, listen to the doctors, and think about yourself right now... | nta
your family sounds really toxic. | nta. you need to save up and move out of the adjoining flats situation because if it is always like this with them, you would be better having your own place to live further away from them.
you are ill and your brother has plans he would have to cancel. | nta
>that my brother shouldn't be bothered with this as he has plans with his friends
plans with friends is more important than your health? that's a big no. seems like your mother and brother are completely entitled and need to grow tf up. only thing you should worry about right now is healing. you do not deserv... | what ??? of course you're nta , you just had surgery and were literally told to stay in the hospital by doctors . you should be resting and just focusing on yourself . i hope you feel better soon ! | im sorry but what the hell did i just read? if this is true get out of that and cut contact. nta. jesus….
though as an aside allergies and asthma are very serious issues too. i have both along with anemia. it’s not a fun combo by any stretch. | nta
you were in the hospital recovering from surgery and the doctor doesn't want you to leave as early as you were planned to? your mom should be worried about you and trying to help you. the bare minimum would be to sort out her packing on her own or with someone else's help, but she is totally the ah for getting oth... | nta they both just sound lazy and entitled, you are literally in the hospital fresh out of surgery. your needs are greater than their ‘convenience’, period. | sweet baby jesus on a tricycle! as the owner of some very defective lady bits nta! just no. no no no no no. women's pain is far too normalised and dismissed. you have had keyhole surgery and bits of you potentially cut out. you have literally been stabbed! i discovered that morphine doesn't agree with me a few years ag... | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
[/INST] nta wth. of course not. you are not the ah. as an adult, sh... | |
AITA for turning a whole class against a student? | i’m taking organic chemistry, which is even worse than gen chem. the exams, and tests are unnecessarily hard, and the class itself is complicated. we all seem to be struggling, besides this one person.
our professor is unfortunately still taking her lectures very seriously, and assigned us a test worth 25% of our gra... | 1,045 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/fx6u34/aita_for_turning_a_whole_class_against_a_student/ | 2020-04-08 13:52:38 | yta. you're obviously the asshole and you know it. what is this post? | yta. you cheated. deal with the consequences. | yta
study, get a tutor, get help from the professor like any other responsible student would and not cheat, maybe? you all brought this on yourself. deal with the consequences. | yta and you’ll be lucky if further action is just a drop in your grade or a failure from this one class. cheating is wrong, especially in academics. just because everyone else did it doesn’t mean it’s okay for you to do it too. you played a stupid game, and now you have to deal with the stupid prize you won. it’s not t... | you cheated on a test. this other student isn't your problem: you are your problem. and you're getting what you deserve.
side note: why would you **admit** to cheating in a group chat? mean **and** stupid - a winning combo.
yta | yta you’re a cheater and now a bully | yta. many universities has zero tolerance for cheating ... let’s hope yours is one of them. | yta, all of you are assholes. except the girl who didn't cheated. don't know if you are in university or what, but you are going to be my future doctor maybe, i don't want an asshole who doesn't knows nothing about organic chem as a professional in any related field of study. | yta, first off, you cheated. you took a calculated risk and now you have to deal with the consequences, and second, why did you cheat by communicating in a group chat with him in it??? like if you’re gonna cheat don’t be stupid about it. | just from reading this post, i smelt hydrogen sulfide and methanethiol.
**yta** (obviously) | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | YTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i’m taking organic chemistry, which is even worse than gen chem. the exams, an... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i’m taking organic chemistry, which is even worse than gen chem. the... |
AITA for telling grandma to 'deal with it' and that I'm not going to wait for her to die to get body modifications? | my grandma is a mean old woman and is overly critical of anybody who doesn't live 'traditionally'. she's extremely harsh on women who go out to work and study instead of staying home and popping out babies.
so when i turned 18 early this year and began to get body modifications, i hid them from her. it was fairly eas... | 1,916 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/pgyydj/aita_for_telling_grandma_to_deal_with_it_and_that/ | 2021-09-03 05:37:16 | nta - grandma sounds like a piece of work and it sounds like your family is enabling that. she also grew up in a time where it was acceptable to be racist and bigoted, but times change.
now... you *probably* could have handled it with a bit more grace, but honestly with her saying rude things about you to your family... | nta- my grandmother literally asked me to wait until she dies before getting anymore tattoos. i told her that i'm an adult, it's my body, and i'm the one who has to live with any consequences. sure your comment was harsh and unnecessary, your grandmother is not going to change. but that doesn't mean you should have to ... | nta.
i'm guessing grandma also grew up during a time when women "traditionally" kept their mouth shut since their opinions didn't matter much? she sure thinks her opinion matters now.
doesn't matter if she grew up in a different time, she was rude. if she doesn't like something, she doesn't have to. but that doesn't ... | >grandma came from a time where tattoos were for criminals and gang members
as a middle-aged guy whose (long-gone) grandparents were born over 100 years ago, i get baffled when i see this. you're 18 - says so in the post. traditional family, so women had kids not careers.
that to me says that your grandma was... | nta. you’re close in age to my oldest kid, so your grandma is probably close in age to my parents; which is to say, old enough to learn new opinions! or the manners to keep one’s opinions to oneself. | nta. it doesn't matter what she associates tattoos with , times have changed and your her granddaughter ,so it really shouldn't be a problem. she got what was coming for her | nta. grandma needs to get over it. you have every right to mod your body as you please. she was very disrespectful to yank your sleeve and she doesn't get a free pass just cause she's elderly. | nta
your grandmother's wrong . it's your body and your choice , you aren't doing anything wrong . grandma needs to chill fr | nta, tattoos and piercings are totally fine. while it’s true she grew up in a different era, that doesn’t give her the right to condemn you for having them. she doesn’t need to understand why you have them, just that you want them. | nta. i agree with you, op, that the only person who has agency over your body is yourself.
don't like tattoos or piercings? don't get them. it's that simple. | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: my grandma is a mean old woman and is overly critical of anybody who doesn't l... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
my grandma is a mean old woman and is overly critical of anybody who... |
AITA for losing sympathy for my mom? | at the end of february i got a call from the plastic surgeon's office that was doing my breast reduction. the nurse said she had a date for me - april 15th. i happily accepted and told my mom, who seemed to be happy for me.
the following week, she booked an appointment to have an infusion (she has to get them every 4 ... | 148 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/bs7mkp/aita_for_losing_sympathy_for_my_mom/ | 2019-05-23 20:08:17 | nta - she is treating you like free labor. also i'm not even sure she can do that with a day care, aren't they strictly regulated? | nta do the parents know that your mom isn't the primary caretaker for the kids? | definitely nta. your mom, however, sounds like a giant asshole. can you move out? | nta - you just don't feel taken advantage of, it seems she is genuinely taking advantage of you. | null | null | null | null | null | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: at the end of february i got a call from the plastic surgeon's office that was... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
at the end of february i got a call from the plastic surgeon's offic... |
AITA for telling my sister I wouldn't be her surrogate if she couldn't get pregnant? | this is a conversation that took place years ago but i have thought about it a lot since and i wonder if i was wrong.
my sister asked me if in the future if she were to find out she can't carry her own kids, if i would be her surrogate. i was honest and said no. i am transgender. i'm not sure i ever want to carry my... | 338 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ycngv0/aita_for_telling_my_sister_i_wouldnt_be_her/ | 2022-10-24 21:39:03 | nta-pregancy is not for everyone and the things that hormones do to your body are no joke! | nta
you are not wrong. you don't even need any reasons to say no to the possibility beyond not wanting to. none the less you have a ton of very valid reasons not to want to do that. | nta
it's not selfish. it's a huge medical risk involving permanent physical changes.
you can't be a surrogate if you've never had a successful birth before, so you wouldn't be allowed anyways. | nta. your sister shouldn’t assume rights to your body | selfish??? it's your body not hers lol, nta | nta. your sister can ask but it's a very big ask. it's selfish of her to not realize that and respect your decision. | nta.
any reputable agency wouldn’t allow you as a surrogate simply because you have no living children of your own. | nta. your sister is asking for something far far outside of what could ever be expected that she is not entitled to. she is accusing you of being selfish because she is. | nta. it’s a very personal decision. there are other options for planning a family. | nta but i’m pretty sure have to already given birth to be qualified anyway. | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: this is a conversation that took place years ago but i have thought about it a... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
this is a conversation that took place years ago but i have thought ... |
AITA for refusing to drive a relative to the hospital at 3 am? | i (20f) refused to drive family relative to the hospital because my parents disregarded my feelings. i sound like a horrible person, but here’s the story. i come from a shitty family, and i hate my father. he’s been distant my whole life. growing up, my mom had to make do with her own medication experiments whenever me... | 2,463 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/viu7yn/aita_for_refusing_to_drive_a_relative_to_the/ | 2022-06-23 10:58:26 | nta. your family is toxic af. use your license to drive yourself far away from your family, for good. | nta. you're not a servant. one thing is contributing to household, something else is being treated like a equipment not like a person.
this is gonna continue until you move out and cut off the contact.
your problems and feelings are important. don't let anyone to persuade you to someting different. | nta.you could not have driven safely in that state. ask your mother if she'd have liked to see her cousin, and incidentally her child whom she really should care about, dead in a car crash because she forced you to drive when exhausted, which is worse than driving drunk. | a gift should never come with conditions or obligations, otherwise it’s not a gift. as you said, the ‘gift’ of the car was just a way to control you.
you are being treated as a chauffeur (unpaid, at that), which is unfair for someone without anxiety issues. for someone with anxiety at your level, it’s downright unsafe... | nta. but give the car back. | nta. but i can understand the situation you’re in where parents don’t give a damn about you, make you do stuff for them even if you are too tired and then expect good grades too. it’s even more frustrating to not be able to move out because you would have no where to go.
if you can find a way to escape, good for you b... | nta, why is no one in your house able to drive? you dad can drive, your mom can drive, heck the cousin could have driven themselves. give back the car and have them drive themselves….unless if the car is in your name then legally it is yours no matter who paid for it so kept it and drive away from them. | nta.
your parents are trying to undermine your education though. by making you responsible for all of the transportation, it leaves you too stressed and too tired, without enough time to study.
they obviously have other means to get to where they and the rest of the family need to go. it's just more convenient to... | nta
please, when you can, work on moving out and on with your life. if the car is in your name then keep it if you need to, otherwise you may need to leave it. | null | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | null | 0 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: i (20f) refused to drive family relative to the hospital because my parents di... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
i (20f) refused to drive family relative to the hospital because my ... |
AITA for trying out cheat sheets in exams in my class | everybody who finds a grammar/spelling mistake can take a cookie 🍪 but don’t be mad at me if you get fat from all the cookies as i am no native speaker.
to the story at hand: i am relatively new in teaching and realised many students deal with panic and anxiety in exams.
i wanted to help them and researched and fo... | 262 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zmliak/aita_for_trying_out_cheat_sheets_in_exams_in_my/ | 2022-12-15 13:49:24 | nta. in real life, when you want to solve problems, you use all the resources available to you. you do not have to have every little thing memorized to demonstrate understanding of how things work. cheat sheet exams are more reflective of how the world works than closed-book exams, and your students are developing usef... | nta
the word "cheat sheet" probably set off that mother.
to be honest, i used to do something like this before i started taking my own exams. i would write out all the formulas i knew from memory. any symbols i remembered, and i would even try to organize them.
i didn't copy it from a book or print it out from the... | nta - that seems like an excellent idea! now not only are you testing them with the exam, you are training them to sort and recall important information themselves, without the prompt of a test question. that will be far more useful to them in life than their ability to take a test.
i'm not sure why anyone would think... | nta. how could it be a cheat sheet when the source of the "cheat" is the examinees' own memory of what they studied? 😑 that outside parent was just being salty. | nta, they have nothing except for a pen and paper, there are no books around those 5 mins. i think it is a great idea!! i wished my teachers would allow this at my school.. i mean, you are trying out new ways for kids to learn. i dont see how this is a asshole move… it is just a really good method to calm the kids dur... | nta: it's brilliant. they do a little pre-exam cramming, focus their thoughts and feel like they're getting away with something.
my husband used to make cheat sheets for his exams. took tons of time and rewrote them smaller and smaller so he could hide them easily. he never had to use them because by making them he wa... | nta.
case of one person spoiling it for everyone else. | nta
is this parent upset about open book tests too? some teachers allow students to use the book to write everything they can on a 3x5" card. this isn't much different than that. i say, if it works, keep it up. | i'm going to say nta based on your post.
in my country, you are always allowed to write stuff down on a separate piece of paper before/during the exam (without books and notes of course). also, i don't consider this really cheating. nobody is using anything extra that they wouldn't be allowed to use during the exam. | nah i’ve been in (college stem) classes that allowed a more real “cheat sheet” than you have here. people were allowed one 8 1/2 x 11” of whatever notes they cared to bring with them. some people wrote a few formulas. some people used reducing photocopiers to put multiple pages of tiny print on their one page. it was r... | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NTA | NAH | 0.000375 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: everybody who finds a grammar/spelling mistake can take a cookie 🍪 but don’t ... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
everybody who finds a grammar/spelling mistake can take a cookie 🍪 ... |
AITA for not allowing my future mother in law to be apart of my pregnancy? | my boyfriend(m20) and i(f19) just found out we’re expecting a baby. ever since we’ve found out we’ve told his parents and my parents. my parents are being super supportive but his mother on the other hand.. well.. isn’t.
for context she hasn’t ever trusted me since i’ve started dating him in 2018. she has always accu... | 476 | https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/reg8ac/aita_for_not_allowing_my_future_mother_in_law_to/ | 2021-12-12 03:44:08 | nta. you owe her nothing, she is being incredibly toxic and rude to you | nta, she can be a part of the pregnancy when she directly apologizes and works the issues out with you. | info: is your boyfriend living with his mother? is he in any way financially dependent on her?
if the answer to both of those questions is “yes,” then you’re in a tough situation.
you don’t owe mil anything, but your boyfriend does. until he is financially independent and living with *you* instead of *her,* you don’... | nta, that woman is like one of the villian from dramas who lies to her son and destroy his relationships so she can control him. | nta. just tell her you’re not seeking her attention. | [removed] | nta
also look into going nc that woman is toxic | info: in what way can she 'help with the pregnancy'? | nope. nta. she's a narcissist. make sure your feelings are known to the bf but she might be a lost cause that you both need to cut out of your lives. | nta
you decide who you want to be around you in your life, let alone during pregnancy. so in no way are you wrong in excluding her with how she has treated you in the past and treating you right now. she’s not remorseful and the same even though she apologized to your boyfriend, she’s apologizing so as not to lose him... | NTA | NTA | INFO | NTA | NTA | null | NTA | INFO | NTA | NTA | 0.02053 | Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice. Conflict context: my boyfriend(m20) and i(f19) just found out we’re expecting a baby. ever since... | <s>[INST] <<SYS>>
Classify the interpersonal conflict as either 'you're the a**hole (yta)' when the writer is causing the conflict or 'not the a**hole (nta)' when someone other than the writer is causing the conflict and explain your choice.
<</SYS>>
my boyfriend(m20) and i(f19) just found out we’re expecting a baby. ... |
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