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People don't use that word any more. | Don't lecture me on race relations. I don't have a molecule of prejudice. I've been in battle with every kind of man there is. I've been in bed with every kind of woman there is--from a Laplander to a Tierra del Fuegian. If I'd ever been to the South Pole, there'd be a hell of a lot of penguins who looked like me. Co... |
Don't lecture me on race relations. I don't have a molecule of prejudice. I've been in battle with every kind of man there is. I've been in bed with every kind of woman there is--from a Laplander to a Tierra del Fuegian. If I'd ever been to the South Pole, there'd be a hell of a lot of penguins who looked like me. Co... | You leave me so--so without-- without dignity. |
You leave me so--so without-- without dignity. | People now have dignity when frying eggs? |
People now have dignity when frying eggs? | They don't have to feel like slaves. |
They don't have to feel like slaves. | Then go now--and fry with dignity-- sunnyside up. |
See how you've upset him. He was so merry and hale before you came home. | How unhappy he's going to be--alone in his room. |
How unhappy he's going to be--alone in his room. | He'll play with his rifle, I expect. That will cheer him up. |
He'll play with his rifle, I expect. That will cheer him up. | Rifle? |
Rifle? | I bought him a twenty-two yesterday--on the way home from Hamburger Heaven. And where is the good doctor? Have you two feathered a love nest somewhere? |
I bought him a twenty-two yesterday--on the way home from Hamburger Heaven. And where is the good doctor? Have you two feathered a love nest somewhere? | He's in East St. Louis with his mother--visiting an aunt. |
He's in East St. Louis with his mother--visiting an aunt. | Last I heard, his mother was going alone. |
Last I heard, his mother was going alone. | He's afraid of you, Harold. He knew you'd want to fight him. He doesn't know anything about fighting. He hates pain. |
He's afraid of you, Harold. He knew you'd want to fight him. He doesn't know anything about fighting. He hates pain. | And you, a supposedly healthy woman, do not detest him for his cowardice? |
And you, a supposedly healthy woman, do not detest him for his cowardice? | It seems highly intelligent to me. |
It seems highly intelligent to me. | What kind of a country has this become? The men wear beads and refuse to fight--and the woman adore them. America's days of greatness are over. It has drunk the blue soup. |
What kind of a country has this become? The men wear beads and refuse to fight--and the woman adore them. America's days of greatness are over. It has drunk the blue soup. | Blue soup? |
Blue soup? | An Indian narcotic we were forced to drink. It put us in a haze--a honey-colored haze which was lavender around the edge. We laughed, we sang, we snoozed. When a bird called, we answered back. Every living thing was our brother or our sister, we thought. Looseleaf stepped on a cockroach six inches long, and we cried... |
An Indian narcotic we were forced to drink. It put us in a haze--a honey-colored haze which was lavender around the edge. We laughed, we sang, we snoozed. When a bird called, we answered back. Every living thing was our brother or our sister, we thought. Looseleaf stepped on a cockroach six inches long, and we cried... | Sounds quite beautiful. |
Sounds quite beautiful. | Beautiful, you say? It wasn't life, it wasn't death--it wasn't anything! Beautiful? Seven years gone-- like that, like that! Seven years of silliness and random dreams! Seven years of nothingness, when there could have been so much! |
Beautiful, you say? It wasn't life, it wasn't death--it wasn't anything! Beautiful? Seven years gone-- like that, like that! Seven years of silliness and random dreams! Seven years of nothingness, when there could have been so much! | Like what? |
Like what? | Action! Interaction! Give and take! Challenge and response! |
He's a child! | With an iron penis three feet long. Load it, boy. |
With an iron penis three feet long. Load it, boy. | You're begging him to kill you? |
You're begging him to kill you? | If he thinks he's man enough. |
If he thinks he's man enough. | That's really what you want. You become furious when people won't make you dead. |
That's really what you want. You become furious when people won't make you dead. | I'm teaching my son to be a man. |
I'm teaching my son to be a man. | So he can kill you. You hate your own life that much. You beg for a hero to kill you. |
So he can kill you. You hate your own life that much. You beg for a hero to kill you. | I plan to live one hundred years! |
I plan to live one hundred years! | No you don't. |
No you don't. | If that's the case--what's to prevent my killing myself? |
If that's the case--what's to prevent my killing myself? | Honor, I suppose. |
Honor, I suppose. | What a handsome word. |
What a handsome word. | But it's all balled up in your head with death. The highest honor is death. When you talk of these animals, one by one, you don't just talk of killing them. You honored them with death. Harold--it is not honor to be killed. |
But it's all balled up in your head with death. The highest honor is death. When you talk of these animals, one by one, you don't just talk of killing them. You honored them with death. Harold--it is not honor to be killed. | If you've lived a good life, fought well-- |
If you've lived a good life, fought well-- | It's still just death, the absence of life--no honor at all. It's worse than the blue soup by far-- that nothingness. To you, though, it's the honor that crowns them all. |
It's still just death, the absence of life--no honor at all. It's worse than the blue soup by far-- that nothingness. To you, though, it's the honor that crowns them all. | May I continue with the rearing of my son? Load that gun! |
You can also describe its cure. I'm eating its cure. | I was going to ask. |
I was going to ask. | Pacqualinincheewa root. |
Pacqualinincheewa root. | Would you say that again? |
Would you say that again? | Pacqualinincheewa root. Means "cougar fang." Cures anything but a yellow streak down the back. |
Pacqualinincheewa root. Means "cougar fang." Cures anything but a yellow streak down the back. | I've never heard of it. |
I've never heard of it. | Congratulations. By crossing twenty-eight feet of cockroach- infested carpet, you've become the third white man ever to hear of it. |
Congratulations. By crossing twenty-eight feet of cockroach- infested carpet, you've become the third white man ever to hear of it. | Are you've seen it work cures? |
Are you've seen it work cures? | Hundreds. |
You're a filthy, rotten bastard. | Oooooo. That hurt. |
Oooooo. That hurt. | You're old--so old. |
You're old--so old. | Now who's being cruel? |
Now who's being cruel? | A living fossil! Like the cockroaches and the horseshoe crabs. |
A living fossil! Like the cockroaches and the horseshoe crabs. | We do survive, don't we? You're going to have to apologize, of course, for calling me a bastard. That's a matter of form--not allowing you or anybody to call me a bastard. No rush about that. Just remember to apologize sometime soon. |
You're in one hell of a jam. You realize that? | I'm high as a kite. |
I'm high as a kite. | Glands. You're supposed to be happy when you die. Call me comical again. |
Glands. You're supposed to be happy when you die. Call me comical again. | You're a clown. You're a clown who kills--but you're a clown. |
You're a clown. You're a clown who kills--but you're a clown. | I love you! Have a cigar! |
I love you! Have a cigar! | Evolution has made you a clown-- with a cigar. Simple butchers like you are obsolete! |
Evolution has made you a clown-- with a cigar. Simple butchers like you are obsolete! | I'm to be left behind--in primordial ooze? |
I'm to be left behind--in primordial ooze? | If you're at home in the ooze, and nowhere else. |
If you're at home in the ooze, and nowhere else. | This is going to become very physical. Are you prepared for that? |
This is going to become very physical. Are you prepared for that? | You're not such a creature of the ooze that you'd hurt an unarmed man. |
You're not such a creature of the ooze that you'd hurt an unarmed man. | I'm an honorable clown? |
I'm an honorable clown? | King Arthur. |
King Arthur. | You hope. |
You hope. | In any event, I will not beg for mercy. |
In any event, I will not beg for mercy. | No quarter asked. No quarter given. |
No quarter asked. No quarter given. | Don't you laugh even inwardly at the heroic balderdash you spew? |
Don't you laugh even inwardly at the heroic balderdash you spew? | Cut me open. Find out. |
Cut me open. Find out. | I've struck my blow. |
I've struck my blow. | With spittle? |
With spittle? | I've poisoned you. HAROLD Lucretia Borgia? Something I drank or touched? You refused a cigar. That's it! Potassium cyanide in the humidor! Treacherous lover of peace! |
I've poisoned you. HAROLD Lucretia Borgia? Something I drank or touched? You refused a cigar. That's it! Potassium cyanide in the humidor! Treacherous lover of peace! | I put a poisoned thought in your head. Even now that poison is seeping into every lobe of your mind. It's saying, "Obsolete, obsolete, obsolete," and, "Clown, clown, clown." |
I put a poisoned thought in your head. Even now that poison is seeping into every lobe of your mind. It's saying, "Obsolete, obsolete, obsolete," and, "Clown, clown, clown." | Poison. |
Poison. | You have a very good mind, or I wouldn't have come back. That mind is now asking itself, cleverly and fairly, "Is Harold Ryan really a clown?" And the answer is, "Yes." |
You have a very good mind, or I wouldn't have come back. That mind is now asking itself, cleverly and fairly, "Is Harold Ryan really a clown?" And the answer is, "Yes." | I--I really must congratulate you. Something is happening in there. |
I--I really must congratulate you. Something is happening in there. | You can never take yourself seriously again! Look at all the creatures you've protected us from! Did you shoot them on the elevator, as they were on their way up here to eat us alive? |
You can never take yourself seriously again! Look at all the creatures you've protected us from! Did you shoot them on the elevator, as they were on their way up here to eat us alive? | No. WOODLY The magic root you gave me--I had it analyzed. It was discovered by a Harvard botanist in 1893! He explored your famous jungle for five years, armed with nothing but kindness, a talent for languages, and a pocketknife. |
No. WOODLY The magic root you gave me--I had it analyzed. It was discovered by a Harvard botanist in 1893! He explored your famous jungle for five years, armed with nothing but kindness, a talent for languages, and a pocketknife. | I see. |
I see. | You aren't going to hurt me. You aren't going to hurt anybody any more. Any violent gesture will seem ridiculous--to yourself! |
You aren't going to hurt me. You aren't going to hurt anybody any more. Any violent gesture will seem ridiculous--to yourself! | Don Quixote. |
Don Quixote. | My violin is avenged! |
My violin is avenged! | Something seems to have happened to my self-respect. |
Something seems to have happened to my self-respect. | And the hell with it. It was so tragically irrelevant, so preposterously misinformed. |
And the hell with it. It was so tragically irrelevant, so preposterously misinformed. | The new hero is you. |
The new hero is you. | I hate crowds, and I have no charisma-- |
I hate crowds, and I have no charisma-- | You're too modest. |
You're too modest. | But the new hero will be a man of science and of peace--like me. He'll disarm you, of course. No more guns, no more guns. |
But the new hero will be a man of science and of peace--like me. He'll disarm you, of course. No more guns, no more guns. | Was I ever of use? |
Was I ever of use? | Never. For when you began to kill for the fun of it, you became the chief source of agony of mankind. |
Jesus--I dunno. You know. What the heck. Who knows? | Colonel Harper, retired now, dropped an atom bomb on Nagasaki during the Second World War, killing seventy-four thousand people in a flash. |
Colonel Harper, retired now, dropped an atom bomb on Nagasaki during the Second World War, killing seventy-four thousand people in a flash. | I dunno, boy. |
I dunno, boy. | You don't know? |
You don't know? | It was a bitch. |
It was a bitch. | Thank you. You can leave now. We'll begin. |
Dead! | Jesus. |
Jesus. | Alice is dead? |
Alice is dead? | No, no--shit no. Excuse me, Penelope. |
No, no--shit no. Excuse me, Penelope. | For what? |
For what? | For saying "shit." Or is that okay now? |
For saying "shit." Or is that okay now? | Who's dead? |
Who's dead? | My mother-in-law. Fire engines, pulmotors, doctors, cops, coroners-- |
My mother-in-law. Fire engines, pulmotors, doctors, cops, coroners-- | What happened? |
What happened? | Well--I walked up to the front door. I was still alive. Big surprise. I rang the doorbell, and old Mrs. Wheeler answered. She had her Goddamn knitting. I said, "Guess who?" She conked right out. |
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