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You've got your own TV show? | The guy whose hair I do has his own TV show. All I've got is a blow-dryer and a dream. |
Melissa Margaret Marr, Celebrity. | Eddie Moses, Communications Attache -- which translated from ancient means: I work for a Messenger service. |
Then what the are we doing here? | How'd you make your guest list, Price: throw darts at a phone book? |
You know how happy I'd be if that was really true, Evelyn? And how positively delirious if you weren't every living thing in our area code at the same time! | Which part of that fantasy turns you on most: me with other men -- or just the other men? |
Which part of that fantasy turns you on most: me with other men -- or just the other men? | You know everything you do gets me hot. |
-- asking the wrong guy -- wasn't me who closed it. | Sure it wasn't. Hey, anybody else here make their living with thrills'n'chills for the kiddies? Don't raise your hands all at once. |
Sure it wasn't. Hey, anybody else here make their living with thrills'n'chills for the kiddies? Don't raise your hands all at once. | Huh. And here I had a completely different theory. |
Huh. And here I had a completely different theory. | Really? Well, let it rip. |
Really? Well, let it rip. | Oh, no-no-no -- much more bang for everyone's buck to nail the -- |
Oh, no-no-no -- much more bang for everyone's buck to nail the -- | -- the sadistic -- |
-- the sadistic -- | #NAME? |
Game, set and match, Steven. You've outdone yourself. And I know it's not good manners to ask the magician how he did it, but inquiring minds are desperate to know: just what did really happen to Ms. Marr? | Asking the wrong person again. |
Asking the wrong person again. | I mean, did she stage it all for you and then go hide -- or did you just flat out the little -- |
I mean, did she stage it all for you and then go hide -- or did you just flat out the little -- | -- I pose you the same question -- |
-- I pose you the same question -- | -- and who's next on your list? |
-- and who's next on your list? | If I had one, Evelyn, I think you know who'd be first and last -- |
If I had one, Evelyn, I think you know who'd be first and last -- | -- oh, for chrissake, that's a given; we all know that knocking me off is the bottom line here -- |
-- oh, for chrissake, that's a given; we all know that knocking me off is the bottom line here -- | -- that wasn't my original plan, but it is starting to look more attractive -- |
-- that wasn't my original plan, but it is starting to look more attractive -- | -- thank you! All the cards finally on the table! |
I don't know, Ms. Jenzen. | Well, who's the thing <u>from</u>? |
Well, who's the thing <u>from</u>? | Messenger just dropped it off. No return address. |
Messenger just dropped it off. No return address. | You didn't think to ask? |
You didn't think to ask? | I was in the middle of -- |
I was in the middle of -- | #NAME? |
You think this is funny?? | No, no, it's just -- |
No, no, it's just -- | -- well, here's a better one: you're fired. |
-- well, here's a better one: you're fired. | What? |
What? | And here's your severance! |
...wow....WOW! Hey, Ms. Jenzen -- ? | Are you still <b>here</b>?? |
I...don't think...anybody should be touching the body. | I think I'll do what I well please. |
Then tell me, please -- help me...! | Don't think so. Stay the back. |
Don't think so. Stay the back. | Please! I need your help. |
Please! I need your help. | Not even for a million dollars, Mr. Price. |
-- hey! Next time give me a couple seconds notice before you wing a gag like that! | The lockdown thing. |
The lockdown thing. | I mean, not that it didn't give Evelyn the kind of coronary I had in mind, just... |
I mean, not that it didn't give Evelyn the kind of coronary I had in mind, just... | -- it wasn't me. |
-- it wasn't me. | Rewind that. |
Rewind that. | I was just sitting here -- it happened. I had nothing to do with it. |
I was just sitting here -- it happened. I had nothing to do with it. | Then who did?? |
Then who did?? | No idea. I didn't even know the thing still worked! |
No idea. I didn't even know the thing still worked! | It works. |
It works. | Maybe it was just its time to finally fall apart. |
Maybe it was just its time to finally fall apart. | No. Somehow -- I don't know how -- she did it. |
No. Somehow -- I don't know how -- she did it. | Pretty amazing feat: all that down the basement and your wife's up in the bedroom the whole time. |
Pretty amazing feat: all that down the basement and your wife's up in the bedroom the whole time. | Don't take your eyes off her for a second. I think she just declared War. |
What the is that? | I don't know. That's strange. |
I was downtown looking for a ... a friend. A guy I know. Anyway, there was this store. Like real old? Lotsa weird in there. I saw this statue. Pillar. Thing. I knew he'd love it. You've seen the club. | Would you know this store again? |
Would you know this store again? | Sure. Why? |
Sure. Why? | It's Saturday morning. Let's go shopping. |
But you gave me a rose ... | And tomorrow I'll give one to somebody else. Get dressed. Get out. |
And tomorrow I'll give one to somebody else. Get dressed. Get out. | You Who do you think you are? |
You Who do you think you are? | I'm JP Monroe, you little Now get the out of my life. |
I'm JP Monroe, you little Now get the out of my life. | You ... I can't believe you, you You get me in here ... |
You ... I can't believe you, you You get me in here ... | Right. Like you were hog-tied or something. |
That's terrible. What a She was obviously just using you, Terri. Ready to dump you the second she had what she needed, interfering little | No. It isn't ... she wouldn't ... It's like I must have done something wrong, you know? Freaked her out. Just up something good again. |
No. It isn't ... she wouldn't ... It's like I must have done something wrong, you know? Freaked her out. Just up something good again. | Hey, you didn't it up with me. You know that. It was my fault, babe, it really was. And you know I'm sorry. And I'm sorry to see you upset now. I hate to see you in pain like this. |
Looks like you've been expanding your... | Don't say it, Hawkins. I'm incredibly sensitive about my figure. |
Don't say it, Hawkins. I'm incredibly sensitive about my figure. | My next word was gonna be "consciousness." Swear to tubby. |
That's your definition of "Hard?" | Show off. Hey, boss tune. "Come Fly with Me." |
Show off. Hey, boss tune. "Come Fly with Me." | Three minutes, 51 seconds. |
Three minutes, 51 seconds. | Still do the puzzles, still know the running times of songs, and I'll bet you're still the best cat burg-- |
Still do the puzzles, still know the running times of songs, and I'll bet you're still the best cat burg-- | Not anymore. Now I'm the laziest cat burg--I'm going to take it so straight that I won't tape a Mets game without the expressed written consent of the National Baseball League. |
Not anymore. Now I'm the laziest cat burg--I'm going to take it so straight that I won't tape a Mets game without the expressed written consent of the National Baseball League. | Now that you're born again,what do you wanna do? Statue of Liberty? Entertain some ladies? Miss Saigon tix? some women? Play Nintendo? Bone some chicks? |
Now that you're born again,what do you wanna do? Statue of Liberty? Entertain some ladies? Miss Saigon tix? some women? Play Nintendo? Bone some chicks? | Come on, Alex, let's just get to Alex's. Your bar's the only place that's going to cheer me. I'd for a cappuccino. What the hell's a Nintendo? |
Come on, Alex, let's just get to Alex's. Your bar's the only place that's going to cheer me. I'd for a cappuccino. What the hell's a Nintendo? | Oh man, you still got a thing for those unmasculine European coffees? Who's your buddy? |
Those dago-guinea-I can say this I'm motherfu-- | Ah, had the perfect amount of foam. Just get me to the bar... It's the one good thing in my life that'll never change.... |
I'm Mario Brothers. Gates. Rutherford Auction House. By the way, how many seconds? | Rutherford Auction... that name... |
Okay, you got me, Mr. PBS. | Morning edition. Seems two thieves "attempted" to steal it last night, but thanks to three "courageous" guards, it will be ready for tonight. |
Morning edition. Seems two thieves "attempted" to steal it last night, but thanks to three "courageous" guards, it will be ready for tonight. | "Attempted." At-tempt-ted! I'm not happy about having to steal that horse, but I do have my pride. Face it, when it comes to burglary, and I.... |
You You my freedom for a lousy job. | But I said I was sorry.... |
But I said I was sorry.... | No sweat, Alex, you only made the biggest mistake of <u>my</u> life. What was your per-diem? |
No sweat, Alex, you only made the biggest mistake of <u>my</u> life. What was your per-diem? | Don't act like you've never committed a crime before, Hawkins? I know, I made call, when Anna tracked me down I... |
With all due respect to that great blouse, why didn't I cut out her heart? | Close call, but she's our only way of keeping tabs on that mysterious Vatican organization. Hawk, it's time to go to the principal's office.... |
Oh, the is going to hit the fa-- | Fantastic. Perfection. The Vatican extends its jealousy to the lucky bidder. |
Hawk, you're a great thief. Got set up, did some time, nothing to be ashamed of. Don't give me a sonata about you always just really wanted to settle down, open a hardware Store and sell spatulas... | If the Mario brothers weren't Jersey's third largest family, I'd say kiss my But considering your status, I'll say slurp my butt. |
I knew it! I told you it was a fake. | That New-York-Italian-Father- made-twenty-bucks-a-week-son- What was our bet? A million? |
That New-York-Italian-Father- made-twenty-bucks-a-week-son- What was our bet? A million? | Million five, lover... |
For those kind of wages, I could have built the factory in America! They're Vietnamese, can't we just give them more Bart Simpson shirts? I hear depressing news like this and I want to commit genocide! Alfred, hold my calls. So, Hawk! The Hawkster! What do you think of the vehicle? | You could host American Bandstand in here. Why did you duck at the auction, |
You could host American Bandstand in here. Why did you duck at the auction, | Because I didn't want to get hurt, taterhead. |
So Hawkasaurus, I won't mince words... | Whatever. You own Boardwalk, you own Park Place, you own the four railroads. You think you're For all I know, you're probably right. I just wanted to have a cappuccino, maybe play some Nintendo after I find out what it is. Man, why didn't you just <u>buy</u> the horse? What am I saying, you did buy it... |
Whatever. You own Boardwalk, you own Park Place, you own the four railroads. You think you're For all I know, you're probably right. I just wanted to have a cappuccino, maybe play some Nintendo after I find out what it is. Man, why didn't you just <u>buy</u> the horse? What am I saying, you did buy it... | Oh... Let's see. There are organizations that think we wanted the "Sforza" for reasons other than putting it in the Da Vinci museum we're building in Vinci. Hopefully, these organizations think our plan has been ruined with the explosion of our replica. If I seem vague, grand. We want a low profile on this, that's why ... |
Oh... Let's see. There are organizations that think we wanted the "Sforza" for reasons other than putting it in the Da Vinci museum we're building in Vinci. Hopefully, these organizations think our plan has been ruined with the explosion of our replica. If I seem vague, grand. We want a low profile on this, that's why ... | If you're pausing for a "thank you," give it up. So boss, you going to tell me what the crystal piece inside the pony means? |
If you're pausing for a "thank you," give it up. So boss, you going to tell me what the crystal piece inside the pony means? | Way to go, Alfie! How many people did you break that thing in front of. Good help's hard to find. |
Way to go, Alfie! How many people did you break that thing in front of. Good help's hard to find. | I guess that's a no. |
I'll torture you so slowly you'll think it's a career! I'll your family, your friends, and the you took to the Prom! | You want an address on that last one? |
What else do you got under there ... I don't want to be rude, but this is all pretty lame. | That's the beauty. It's but I can make it stick because I'm a good guy parole officer and you re a bad guy who's about to find out that there's a thin line between ex-con and escape con. |
Guess I know who wears the in this family. | For God's sake, chain this convict. |
Sure. The Kremlin. Makes sense. The Kremlin. Why not? Listen, this is all too Indiana Jones and the Lost City of King Tut for me, man. Throw me in jail and go ahead, just try and throw Alex... | Jail, you Our foot soldiers will blow your brains out! Bunny, Ball-Ball! |
You killed a friend. Why should I help you go for the gold? | It'll take a couple of years of steady production, but I'll flood the market with so much gold that gold itself, the foundation of all finance, will lose its meaning. Brokers, economists, and fellow entrepreneurs will drown in the saliva of their own nervous breakdowns. Markets will crash- crash. Financial Empires will... |
It'll take a couple of years of steady production, but I'll flood the market with so much gold that gold itself, the foundation of all finance, will lose its meaning. Brokers, economists, and fellow entrepreneurs will drown in the saliva of their own nervous breakdowns. Markets will crash- crash. Financial Empires will... | Except yours-yours. The goal of world domination. Well, if you put it that way, Minnie. How can I resist? |
Except yours-yours. The goal of world domination. Well, if you put it that way, Minnie. How can I resist? | You can't, convict! You're just a shmoe! Every shmoe has the fantasy the planet revolves around them. It rains, car crash stops traffic, you say "How could this happen to me?" It's a natural inclination. But for I, this isn't a fantasy, it is <u>reality</u>! You are on my planet! You walk around the corner for coffee, ... |
You know Kaplan, if you weren't the slimiest pinata of that ever lived, I'd feel sorry for you. | Good news, bud, the Mayflowers have moved up the time-table. You're hitting the Vatican to-night. |
Good news, bud, the Mayflowers have moved up the time-table. You're hitting the Vatican to-night. | Tonight? You're whacked. The timing's off, I'm underequipped Damnit, I have a date! |
I can't believe this. I'm in Russia, or do I have to say, the Soviet Union and I'm shooting a non-Bolshevick. I never thought I'd say "I'm just in this job for the money." Sad. Any last immature quips? | No. But why do you let Butterfinger keep those blood stains on his shirt? |
Ol' satchel-butt... | I know they're gonna buy that stock -- |
I can't print this! | Why not, it's all true! The board is using this poor guy! They're depressing the stock so they can buy it cheap! |
Why not, it's all true! The board is using this poor guy! They're depressing the stock so they can buy it cheap! | It's pure speculation! Why, they'd have my butt in a satchel! |
...Jesus Christopher -- That smarts... Where was I? Oh yeah, the board. I guess Sidney's been puttin' the screws to ya, huh, Norman? | Norville. |
Norville. | Mm. Well, say what you like about the man's ethics, he's a balls-to- the-wall businessman. Beat ya any way he can. Straight for the jugular. Very effective. |
Mm. Well, say what you like about the man's ethics, he's a balls-to- the-wall businessman. Beat ya any way he can. Straight for the jugular. Very effective. | Yes sir... |
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