Split (2)

train · 42.9k rows

text stringlengths 1.96k 5.76k	author int64 1 50
of park of a sunday afternoon she was in a new white flannel dress and dark blue hat the day was warm and clear and a of was sailing about the little lake we sat down and watched them and the ducks the in green blue and white boats with the white in the a book about myself of the lake reflected in the water all was oh ...	43
and reached by board walks laid at right angles to them seemed shabby and inconvenient to me after the better ones of st louis i said to myself was not as good as was rough powerful active st louis was sleepy and slow this was due however to the fact that i entered it of a sunday evening and all its central portion was...	43
of the order twelve stories at least most of the were small old family dwellings into stores i about the life of the city its charms its prospects what did it hold for me t how long would i remain this paper afford me any real advancement f i make a great impression and rise t as i was thus meditating several newspaper...	43
i answered lying about the latter in order to give myself a better standing than otherwise i might have they re good papers aren t they yes pretty fair the news has the largest evening circulation we have some good papers here too this is one of the biggest the is pretty good too it s the biggest evening paper do you k...	43
a great editor and have a carriage waiting for me yes i felt that i was destined for a great end for the present i must be content to look around for a modest room where i could sleep and bide my time and opportunity s a i found a room the next morning in pine street only a doors from this hotel and a block from my new...	43
were constantly talking about it the world the world of youth at least seemed to be concerned with why should not i bet chapter xix no picture of these my opening days in st louis would be of the slightest import if i could not give a fairly satisfactory portrait of myself and of the blood moods or so called spiritua...	43
welfare that the few girls i had approached had responded freely enough still i was a failure i rapidly became familiar with the city news department of the its needs aside from great were simple enough the doings of of various kinds men the plans of city when those could be discovered the news of hie courts city poli...	43
some shrewd some wise and some ignorant some tender and some savage ad some are silk and others ears and cannot be made the one into the other by any accident of either poverty or wealth at this time however after listening to mr and taking notes of his speech i came to the conclusion that all had a just right to much ...	43
placed a revolver to his temple and ended it all why i have often wondered he was seemingly so well fitted mentally and physically to enjoy life or is it mental fitness that really the taste for life t i would not dwell on him at such length save for some other things which i propose later to for the moment a book abou...	43
of suffering and error and and yet enough i know chapter xxi i was walking down the marble hall of our floor one day not long after i arrived when i noted on a door at its extreme end the words art department the in had no art department at least i never discovered it the mere word art although i had no real understand...	43
his exploits in i had been sent for to come to this paper that was the great thing i was for by no less a person than john t one of the famous newspaper men of st louis and a former city editor of this same paper also by a mr somebody the washington correspondent of the paper for whom i had worked in on the world s fa...	43
the like here at last then was the equivalent of dick s wealthy girl i sat thinking about plays somewhat modified in my grief over for the but none the less aware of its tremendous sadness i read over my poem and thought it good even beautiful i must be a x i copied it and put a in s letter and folded my own copy and p...	43
book buried in a trunk somewhere but by then he had turned to adventurous fiction and a year later as i have said be blew his brains out just the same the book made a great impression on me i it gave me a great respect for hazard made me really fond of him and it fixed my mind definitely on this matter of writing not ...	43
what good would it do none at all you got to know that end first he reached over and pulled the coal into position as a and then looked at the ceiling the play s the thing put in peter if you could write a real good play you wouldn t need to worry about getting it aw wouldn t ii listen to that now i commented dick i te...	43
so much how i might advantage myself and my affairs as how for some the lightning of chance was always striking in somewhere and plans leaving destruction and death in its wake for others luck or fortune i never was blinded to the gross by nature and this i resented largely it may be because it was not or i thought it ...	43
of some that he is not as ill as is given out a book about myself what i you ns of concealing something in connection with the i this is and he firmly shut me oat it seemed to me that the straightforward thing have been to let me meet the he was a public official the state of whose health was of interest to thousands b...	43
work worn i noticed the dim smoky flame cast by the lamp the cheap bed and stained red the mother and two children lying in limp and painful disorder the dragged half off it was evident that a struggle had taken place for a a book about myself and table were upset the board thrown down a and the bed pushed shocked beyo...	43
at the grand moment to do the and get their pictures and names in the papers the w re constantly playing into the hands of the police in unimportant matters during periods between great cases doing them little helping them in small cases in order that when a big case came along they might have done unto them the most i...	43
i asked him my favorite question about life his plans the value of exercise etc he wants to know about exercise i you re all right young slim but you ll do sit down and have some champagne have a cigar im some cigars george these young newspaper men are au all right to me i m for em exercise f what i think t i write an...	43
the one concerned would not give it and you saw it somewhere take it of course and let them complain afterward if they would your city editor was supposed to protect you in such matters ton might know of certain conditions of which a public official was not aware and the knowledge of which would cause him to talk in on...	43
but there was no one what did you say the name of the place i inquired relied the stranger right near you can t miss it better get somebody up there quick i think it s something big i know how important these things are to you newspaper boys i used to be one myself and i owe the a few good turns anyhow he smiled and ou...	43
and thither like bending over and examining prostrate forms my first idea of course when i recovered my senses was that i must get in touch with my newspaper and get it to send an wood if possible and then get the news these people here would do as much for the injured as i could why waste my newspaper s time on ran t...	43
get something to eat came in and said mr wants to speak to you my heart sank i went in and stood before him you called for met yes mr wants to see you it s all over i thought i can tell by his manner what a fool i was to build such high hopes on that story i went out to the hall and walked nervously to the office of th...	43
dramatic editor i hear that mr has resigned and the position is open i thought maybe you might give it to me i flushed and hesitated i will he replied and you re dramatic editor tell mr to let you be it i started to thank him but the little figure moved in differently away i had only time to say i m very much obliged b...	43
young at the time to know or judge of their art or the quality of the plays they interpreted aside from those of shakespeare perhaps but certainly their fame for a high form of production was considerable and yet during the few months that i was dramatic editor and the following year when i was a member of another staf...	43
in america to this hour there is no such thing as a reckless unmarried girl in any exhibited in america they are all married but how those st louis applauded i here in america at least was always rewarded and left triumphant wrong was quite always properly out our better selves invariably got the better of our lower se...	43
long period after unquestionably mr liked me i think he may have been fond of me in some amused way interested to keep such a bounding high flown about the a book about myself place i might have held this place for a year or two and made it a stepping to something better but instead of rejoicing in the work and making ...	43
frenchman or two one of whom was a poet several struggling artists who on them and a few weird and characters so degraded and that i could never make out just what their charm was at least two of these had suitable rooms where in addition to dick s and mine we were accustomed to meet there were parties sunday and eveni...	43
as many as three hundred ex or of state in one pen awaiting he was to be from carrying out this plan by his desire for a certain maiden who was to avoid him he repented of his crimes she eventually persuaded him to change the of government from that of a to that of a with himself as candidate for president there was no...	43
o comfortable so indifferent so cruelly dull how i liked to them with from christ those large districts south of the business heart along the river and elsewhere which nightly or weekly wood and were and which were crowded with the unfit the unsuccessful the unhappy how they haunted me and how i attempted in my mind o...	43
life than mine these thoughts with the wish i had for greater advancement caused me as usual to hesitate but i was in no danger of doing anything impulsive there was no great passion in this it was mere sentiment growing more and more and less and less i groaned inwardly but night came and the next day and i had not an...	43
could not find the address of a single manager i tried to reach one of the but there was no response the clock twelve thirty by then and i weakly concluded that things must be all right or that if they weren t i couldn t help it i then went home and to bed and slept poorly troubled by the thought that something might b...	43
hazard johnson all my new found friends think t instead of going boldly to the office and seeing my friends who were still fond of me if laughing at my break or mr i slipped about the city meditating on my fate and wondering what i was to do for at least a week during the hours of the morning and evening i would slip o...	43
but that is neither here nor there as it what is a cardinal truth of the newspaper world that the best of newspaper men are occasionally to be found on the poorest of papers and just at this time as i understood he was here because the republic was making a effort to build itself up in popular esteem which it finally s...	43
me to but always youth youth and the crash of the presses in the and a fresh damp paper laid on my desk of a morning with the news and my own petty achievements or failures to cheer or me so it went day in and day out the republic while not so successful as the globe was a much better paper for me to work on for one th...	43
did not prevent me from telling him somehow i had an eye and a taste for exceptional men myself and i wanted his staff to be as good as any so it was not long before he began to rely on me to supply him with suitable men so much so that i soon had the reputation of being a local of one who could get men in or keep them...	43
with that he eyed dick for ill bet you could said dick peter makes a oh will you ever forget the time we went down to the old and did a turn peter t later the three of us left for a bite and i could see that i was as high in their favor as ever which restored me not a little peter seemed to think that my and coupled wi...	43
common to very poor and highly this particular station was the very of a mixed and negro life which even at this time was still appalling to me in some of its aspects it was all so dirty so poor so so there were in it all sorts of streets negro and run down american or plain the first crowded with long bearded jews an...	43
he turned to me maybe they re not why don t you ask the if they are we d better be getting him to the hospital they re all right the victim worry i know all right and eat em all and he began struggling with johnson at the latter s suggestion i hurried into the the proprietor and clerk of which were friends to all of u...	43
and in which flies might be caught secret electric under the diamond between the to put into the fat seemed to have some faint trace of humor in them and these i now introduced as being worked out in various secret places in order that the great game might not be lost as i wrote building up purely imaginary characteris...	43
had ever pulled and that it would net the fund several thousand dollars for four or five weeks then it seemed to me as though i were walking on air life was so different so pleasant these hot bright days with everybody pleased with me and my name as a clever man a being about some of my new admirers were so pleased w...	43
how the trip should be conducted or to accept him as a social equal f we must indeed i the well known newspaper writer of st louis the well he would get scant attention from me and the more he let me alone the better it would be for him and all of and now also began to me by attempting to give me minute instructions a...	43
before now chattering lightly among them i m gone i thought it s all off now for the grand and silence which way shall i turn f to whom t there s room for one more here said a making a place for me i could not refuse this challenge i m the one i said weakly and sank heavily beside her she looked at me as did the others...	43
flowing from what heart we know not but in which as little our and float it is possible that there may be some care an a of the scales of suffering and pleasure i hope so if not i know not the reason for tears or those emotions with a book about myself which so many of us the memory of seemingly ills if why i sought mi...	43
of life than her sister being more and yet quite as innocent after breakfast the company broke up into groups of two and three each had plans for the day and began talking them over we started off finally for the fair gate and on the way i had an opportunity to study some of the other members of the party and make up m...	43
the west side a book about myself and finally found him quite alone as it chanced the other members of the family then living with him having gone out i shall never forget how old he looked after my year s absence how his eyelids after a slightly and attempted hard examining glance at me his lips and tears to his eyes ...	43
they should looking in a shoe window in a year or two later i actually choked with emotion because i thought that maybe e did not earn enough to keep himself looking well a always seemed more or less in his and whenever i saw him i felt sad because like so many millions of others in this grinding world he had never had...	43
just rising over the in the east a faint of fresh flowers and fresh leaves was abroad and the night seemed to rest in a soothing stillness from the came the sounds of muffled and wi the passion of the east before us were the wide stretches of the park dark and suggestive of where groups of trees were gathered in silent...	43
and by for once in my life i seemed to be truly and happy and that in this very city where but a year or two before i had keen distress toward the middle of the second week left for and then i had miss w all to myself by now i had come to feel an intense interest in her an over the mere thought of being with her in add...	43
charm i was more than ever moved by her grace and force what i what delicacy of feature her big eyes soft and appealing her small red mouth her abundance of red hair a constant before she left for her home one of the inland about ninety miles from st louis all that was left of the party which was not many paid a visit ...	43
really did interest me a famous having come to town and wishing to his skill he requested the republic to a man or a committee to ride with him in a carriage through the crowded streets while he but driving followed the directing thoughts of the man who should sit on the seat beside him i was ordered to get up this com...	43
way once he found the republic to be he became and threatened to assault me if i ever came near him or his place or attempted to write up anything about him which was not true i on the other hand being equally determined to catch him insisted upon my following him up and him my task was not easy i was compelled to hang...	43
hands and coat and began pleading with me in an voice a book about myself bat yon wouldn t do that hj social position my children my god yon wouldn t have me driven out of my own home if he came here now oh my god tell me what i am to do tell me that yon won t do anything that the won t give yon anything yon want oh y...	43
escorted him to the station at north seventh where he was locked up on my arrival at the station however nothing was known a book about myself of this case my noble king knew nothing and when i looked on the which contained a public record of all and charges made and which it was my e as well as that of every other new...	43
noticed at once that he was as if by reason of past of which i had not the slightest idea far more en with the and the captain than i had ever dreamed of being it was here and cap there but what me most was that he gave himself all the airs of a newspaper man about and talking of this that and the other story he had wr...	43
s a st louis san time table according to it you can take a local that leaves here at two fifteen and get as far as this place pacific where the express stops it s just possible that the and the other papers haven t got hold of this yet maybe they have but whatever happens we won t get licked and that s the main thing ...	43
i saw the arm which stood at right angles opposite the station lower for a clear track for some train at the same time i a mail bag hanging out on an express arm indicating that whatever this train was it was not going to stop here i turned still uncertain as to whether i had made a mistake in not searching the other t...	43
may have been still others but i failed to inquire i was so at the mere presence of and his cheap and coarse methods of himself into any company and especially one like this that i could scarcely speak what i thought when the utmost would be required to get the true of all this to send a cheap pig like this to thrust h...	43
of those especially picked guards ventured to give the battle i myself during the short time i had been in st louis had helped report three such in its vicinity in all of which cases the had escaped but the motives which eventually resulted in the amazing single handed attempt of this particular robber were not so much...	43
the other of the train to keep watch over there don t kill anybody unless you have to boys he had said or that be all right stay over there that side i ll take care of these two and then he would fire a few more shots once the express car door and safe had been blown open and the money handed out he had compelled the e...	43
let him do this to me and tomorrow there be a long in the globe telling a book about myself how this fellow was brought there first and and his picture to prove it i swore and groaned for blocks as i walked towards the y wondering what i should do distinct as was my failure it was so easy even when practically admittin...	43
and commanding that little matter of those he began after a pause turning and walking back to his chair i following um um i don t think you understand quite how i felt about that i was sorry to see you go um um and he cleared his throat it was an unfortunate mistake all around i want you to know that i did not blame y...	43
do better there was in me then and has remained though in a fading form i am sorry to say a sort of home longing the german no doubt which made me look back on everything in connection with our troubled lives with a sadness an ache a desire to remedy or repair if possible some of the ills and pains that had beset us al...	43
her in my theories and in regard to everything as i see it now this was perhaps my first and easiest attempt at literary expression the form being and yet sufficient to and without difficulty all the and emotions and ideas which had hitherto been locked up in me and steaming to the explosion point indeed the newspaper ...	43
shot himself to escape the law but a letter from her and the world was beautiful a negro in an county a girl and i arrived in time to see him but walking in the wood afterward away from the swinging body i thought of her and life contained not a single ill such is if i had been alive before now i was more than alive ...	43
gloves a cane soft shirts a most for occasions including those on which i could call upon her or take her to a or i remember one saturday morning when i was on my way to see a book about myself my lady love and had stopped at the to two seats meeting a rather newspaper man i had on the military coat and the hat a pair...	43
to me how shallow was the depth of my supposed feeling and that it was nothing more than a strong sex desire was this one night about twelve a message to the republic stated that on a branch extension of one of the car lines about seven or eight miles from the city a murder had just been committed three entering a lone...	43
seemed a great adventure to me most daring but i could not quite make up my mind which of the two i preferred just the same they came with me looking on the proceeding as a great and delicious adventure as we came along in the dark after dinner they hung on my arms laughing and at what their parents would think and whe...	43
the human mind not only do we fail to see ourselves as others see us but we have not the faintest conception of ourselves as we are an incident which might have proved to me how shallow was the depth of my supposed feeling and that it was nothing more than a strong sex desire was this one night about twelve a message t...	43
i have already said save this that each little in her costume however slight in her or the way she looked or walked amid new surroundings au seemed to re the perfection that i had discovered and was so fortunate as to possess she gave me her photograph which i framed in silver and hung in my room i begged for a lock of...	43
him since my newspaper days in two years before he was then in another play the tin soldier by the his had not been the leading at that time but somehow his skill as a had pushed him into that previously he had leading parts in such middle class plays as a t bell the two and other things of that sort as well as being a...	43
was in progress but spending all the in paul s or on the back of the stage having overcome his first surprise and possibly dislike of my newspaper manner he was now all smiles and plainly delighted with my friends and peter especially the latter appealing to him as characters not unlike himself individuals whom he coul...	43
his life or the character of the stage while the sole comment that i could get out of him was that she was charming but that if he were in my place he would not think of marrying yet a statement which had more light thrown on it years later by his persistent indifference to if not dislike of her although he was always...	43
of about the warmth and intelligence of a bright was telling me daily how wonderful i was and that i ought to get out of here and into something which would really profit me and get me somewhere into the of a country weekly what with my sense of the reasonable or the ridiculous at this time i do not know but i was la...	43
own way as best you can each new day will be a clean slate for you no least picture of the past none at least which might not be quickly wiped away any beautiful woman would satisfy you still i suffered torture for her and myself and left the next day by the the defeated desire for happiness in love my attitude on lea...	43
and glance as much as to say behold i assured myself that the way to establish my true worth was to make every one else feel small by comparison the town of grand lay in the extreme portion of on the a little stream which begins somewhere west of fort and runs to into lake the town was traversed by this one railroad wh...	43
suggested by my friends on the and my sweetheart when i might have remained and married her under the new conditions proffered me yet i walked on to the main comer and inquired where my friend lived then out a country road indicated to me as leading toward his home i found an old rambling frame house facing the river w...	43
air of a country evil said that he did not see that a local er waa particularly valuable to him he might but it would be more as a favor than anything else i began to sum up the of our position we should be to begin with by a wretched we should be to a company of small lean living narrow men who would take at the least...	43
bare living the ugly of life which piles comforts in the of some while the smallest of satisfaction from the lips of others was never more apparent to me i was in a black despair and made short work of getting into my berth for a long time i stared at dark fields flashing by by lamps in scattered cottages the gloomy an...	43
the privilege of riding about the world in these palaces and here was i this sunny winter morning with enough money to indulge in a a book about myself breakfast in one of these grand chambers if i kept up this reckless pace there was no telling where i should end i selected a table adjoining one at which sat two who t...	43
the office of the bee for a possible opening and finding none and learning from several newspaper men that was not considered a live town i decided to travel eastward and bought a ticket to in sight of the tumbling waves of lake i was taken back in thought to my days in and all those who had already dropped out of my l...	43
i was filled with the joy of doing something on my way out i stopped at the office and bought a copy of the last sunday issue which proved to be a poor composed of a half dozen articles on local and illustrated with a few crude drawings i read one or two of them and then looked up my boat i found it tied up at a dock a...	43
after another there were only four ers here convinced before entering that i should not get and i did not one young city editor seeming to take at least an interest in me assured me that if i would remain in for six weeks lie could place me but since i had not enough money to sustain myself so long i decided not to wai...	43
was not in the main vastly interested in labor both parties to the dispute being selfish that it would be a severe blow to the prosperity of the country if labor were too long continued that unless labor was reasonable in its demands capital would become and leave the country i had not made up my mind that the argument...	43
house rooms to several others clerks a book about myself who looked and proved to be a genial sort holding a kind of on the front steps of an evening i now turned to the morning papers going first to the which had its in a handsome building one of the or three high buildings in the city the city editor me graciously bu...	43
back followed the of hills twisting and winding as they went and providing in consequence the most startling and effective views of green hills and mountains beyond i decided that should i be so fortunate as to secure work i would move over here it would be like living in a mountain resort and most i descended and took...	43
construction and he was another of the chief of the possessor of a great house in this region another in new york and still another in scotland a man for whom the and had been killed like huge ribbons of fire these and other names of powerful steel men the seemed to rise and band the sky it seemed astonishing to me t...	43
the nest of i had seen at of those fine houses in the east end and of with his of with his glass how to get up in the world and be somebody was my own thought now and yet i knew that wealth was not for me the best i should ever do was to think and dream standing aloof as a spectator the next day i began work on the and...	43
being with immense were crowded with art and historic their children were being sent to special ts be how to be ladies and gentlemen in a which they and on the other hand these men were being denied an additional five or ten cents as hour and the right to if they protested or attempted to drive out imported strike they...	43
side above it was a holding a long row of white cups and a shelf with tin knives and forks near the up to date range the only real piece of furniture in the room hung the in which all mill carried their noon or midnight meals a crowd of men were lounging cheerfully about talking smoking and enjoying life one of them pl...	43
washington but he has been able to muster only three or four hun a book about men all told i suggested mildly he doesn t to be many followers the of his followers isn t the point he if one man can gather an army of ave hundred another gather an army of tea or five hundred thousand that revolution yes i ventured but wha...	43
in newspaper work and yet i knew what i wanted to do if not that one thing is sure i had no commercial sense whereby i might have br all this after the second or third sketch had been published there was a decided list in my direction and i might have my success instead i merely and dreamed as before reading at the lib...	43
the first and most of all the ten cent magazines then coming into existence and being fed to the public by the ton i saw it first piled in before a news and book store in the of the pile of magazines and the price induced a examination although i had never even heard of it before poor as it was and it was poor it con...	43
had pervaded had i think something to do with this so and are all thoughts and moods at any rate having by now considerable influence with this paper i proposed a short and the city editor wishing no doubt to me suggested that the paper would be glad to provide me with both ways so i made haste to announce a grand retu...	43
merits of new york and new york and st there not be so much difference there were many great in these minor places some day surely would new york well i lived to see many and things but not that instead i saw the great city and grow until it stood for size and force and wealth at least anywhere and now after all these ...	43
on on this car the bells on the necks of the horses i stared and commented well you can t say that this is very much my boy my good and cheerful brother you haven t seen anything yet this is just an old part of new a book about myself york wait yon see and fifth we re just coming this way because it s the way home when...	43
and trivial whatever one might have been elsewhere what could one be here chapter my sister s husband having something to do with this narrative i will touch upon his history as well as that of mj sister in her youth e was one of the most of the girls in our family she never had any intellectual or artistic interests o...	43
about some work how could you fail with him around he f as smart as a whip and they re all good luck anyhow i a book about myself referring to the superstition which all as to others yes said my brother i know they re lucky and he s as straight and honest as they make em i ll always get a square deal here and then he b...	43
i listened what had been had been it might all have been very wonderful but it was so no longer all done and gone i was new and strange and wished to see only what was new and wonderful now the sun was bright on union square now this was a world in which we were living he and i this day the wave of the sea invariably t...	43
here my good brother was at his best it was paul here and paul there already known for several songs of great fame as well as for his stage work and genial personality he was welcomed everywhere and then down the street in the comforting shade of its west wall what amazing male and female and so very many of them x to ...	43

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