Oguzz07/confession_new · Datasets at Hugging Face

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As a Caddie, I Once Stole Money from an Older Gentleman	I wouldn't say this is stealing. This is just the other guy giving you a tip as well.
I drugged a co-worker and he can't tell anyone	No one likes a W
I stole $45,000 from my former employer and think I am morally justified	Why do you think people never investigate financial crimes? There is literally an entire field dedicated to finding it. Forensic accounting and auditing.
I put peanut butter in my friend's drink thinking she was lying about her allergy.	Jesus Christ
My first two tattoos on human skin (other than my own) were on two 13-year-old children (not mine)	This is the quality content I'm here for.
I stole a lot of cigarettes from my dad.	I think most teenager smokers have done this. My nan was a secret(not so secret very badly hidden, who waters the plants at 10pm?!)smoker and we found her stash and would pinch one or two when we were round because we were skint then use our pocket money to randomly put a 10box back when we could.
I can get free McDonald’s meal any time without paying anything.	Don’t update the app
My friend and I burned down a house when I was a kid	Shit this better be a alt account arson in some states has no statue of limitations
Found $760. Didn’t return it even though i knew who lost it.	I had this happen once. I was mowing a friend's lawn for some extra money and found a wad of bills on the street. Turned out it was $1,000 even. I really needed the money at the time and I was really tempted to keep it, so I decided that if it was his I'd return it to him and if not it was mine now since I didn't know any of his neighbors or anything. Finished up the lawn and was chatting to him and he mentioned he was stressing because he'd withdrawn money for rent and then dropped it somewhere. I whipped it out of my pocket and made his day, but was a little bummed that I still had to come up with MY bills money.
I told my school my mom died in Afghanistan. She then did a surprise visit on leave to the school.	Similar thing happened to me but the opposite way...
I spiked the entire offices coffee supply with decaf coffee beans and told nobody.	Just don't do that the other way around. My dad drinks decalf because he has a heart condition and caffeine can kill him.
I know that my husband has sex with other women.	Get yourself tested for STDs
I’m a liar but only in one tiny, stupid regard. I say “I just woke up” all the time when I absolutely did not	This is almost entirely harmless, but it sounds like the root of it might be a lack of self confidence. Maybe you could give yourself a break and reframe seeng yourself "awkward" into natural or authentic.
I threw mangoes on my neighbours house and it got all stained	I always knew it was you and your cousin! I’m on my way over to settle the score!
We bribed a kid in our high-school to take the blame for an adult video cassette.	That's funny as shit! Back in those days, my brother got a "tape" stuck in the VCR, and had to shamefacedly take it to be repaired. He said when he picked it up, a couple people came out of the back of the shop to laugh at him.
I lied: I did give you the slice of pizza that dropped on the ground.	I got a laugh from the title but as I read on I just got sad. Sorry man.
[No Regrets] I bought a rooster just to piss off my neigbors	10/10 approve. As a flock owner I️ concur this an acceptable cock move ❤️
I used a corporate "emergency" credit card for 3 years on small things for myself.	They keep shit like that in their back pocket to fire ur ass if they disapprove of your performance in the future
When I was 11, my dad’s girlfriend’s 22 year old son used to regularly beat my dad up to a bloody pulp in-front of me. I’m 30 now, and I’m still haunted by it..	Holy fuck dude. So sorry to read this. Do you have an option to speak with a therapist to help you process this?
I was mean to one of the only people who were nice to me in High School	Contact her and be honest with her like you did here.
I was relieved when my ex cheated on me so I didn't have to stay in contact with their kid.	Does your current spouse want kids or is he just fond of them? I can't see the relationship lasting if it's the former.
In High School I plagiarized a paper from the internet and submitted it via Turnitin.	I once plagiarized myself after suspecting my professor didn't read our papers. I didn't even change the date so I had plausible deniability of "accidentally printing the wrong file." I received an A 2 weeks in a row on the same paper.
I work for an ice cream store. If a customer is rude, I purposely give them less than what they asked for or tell them we’re out of the topping they want even though I have more in the back.	That's honestly what they deserve. As long as you're not spitting in their ice cream or something like that
In Year 12 I lied to my science teacher, saying I handed in an assignment that I never even started. I ended up getting a B+ on it.	Man, you are lucky! I handed a major assignment in, but the teacher made me re-do it because she had lost it lol. Now, I take pictures of everything to keep as evidence.
As a kid, i stole military equipment from not so abandoned military base	This is 100% Eastern Europe.
The first time I drove by myself after getting my license, I had a minor accident but never ever told anyone - not even the driver of the other car 👀.	That's actually really impressive tf
I give away food when my managers not looking	Pro tip: Keep track of as much as you can and waste what you think should be recorded!
When I'm pissed at my brother I dump small amounts of glitter on his bed.	[deleted]
Stole a girls money on picture day.	Im sure she's still pretty pissed off about it... I'd definitely use caution about fessing up...
I got hired at McDonalds with the intent of doing the bare minimum and intending on getting fired	Sounds like they beat you at your own game and they played the long game and won!
I gave away a bunch of free stuff so I didn't have to deal with customer complaints.	I hate people. Its one thing to complain but people are such dicks while doing it. If I have to complain about something I still try yo be courteous to the person Im asking. Some people need to be wacked with a bat.
I'm a psychologist who wasn't able to help one child, and it has broken me	Is the mother in therapy as well? If she is not seeking counselling odds are that she is sabotaging him without even realizing it.
[Light] I crashed a brand new Ford Mustang at a test drive event hosted by Ford	Don't feel too bad, OP. A writer for Jalopnik got kicked out by GM brass after accidentally crashing a new Camaro at an event they were hosting.
My job is to flirt with guys and make them feel nervous so that my boss can buy their projects for less money.	This is extremely common in software sales for large systems. Works well, too. Only problem: it's not really a long term career choice...
I walked 2 miles with half ounce of weed up my butt cheeks.	Ok i laughed, here have an updoot. 🥳
I hit a kid on the top of his head as hard as I could	Unfortunately it's the kid's parents you should have hit hard as fuck. But hey... Life lesson about actions and consequences I suppose.
I auctioned off my virginity	So virginity at 18 is a late bloomer...the more you know
I stole over £1500 in LEGO from Toys'R'Us in 6 months	How did your parents not notice? That’s a lot of Lego.
When I worked as a valet as a teenager, I chipped the paint on a $90K car and never reported it. Later when I gave it back to him he tipped me $20…	I’ve done the same. Was about a decade ago now. Working overnight. Had to bring this ridiculously oversized truck out of a garage with 2cubic feet pillars that were about 8ft high.
I left a job, and then I changed everyone’s passwords.	I did something like this many years ago. I worked IT for a small local business and the owner who used to be my friend was cool but when his business partner came along, it changed everything. They both were assholes to me. I was 1-man show and when I got a better job, I told the owner that I am resigning. His response: "oh good, it was getting hard to keep paying you."
Stopped caring at my fast food job, and if you’re nice to me I’ll hook you up with a lot of free food snuck into your order	My boss once gave a guy extra meat in his lamb sandwich because the dude had a great beard
I told a guy that my trazodone would get him high so he would leave me alone	So you roofied a guy before he roofied you. 🫣
I stole thousands of dollars worth of makeup from Sephora and I regret it	If it bugs you like that just get rid of the stolen merchandise and move on. If you've changed the behavior the guilt will fade once you aren't confronted with the evidence all around you. Anything that's reusable like bags or clothing you should donate to a shelter, turn it into a Robinhood moment, and let someone who needs it reap the benefits of your bad behavior.
I bullied someone with 2 “friends” when I was in second grade and I regretted it.	Being in the fat kids spot, the “I have no friends and people are still picking at me” spot, I can’t help but feel angry towards you. But also forgiving. You see your wrongdoing. You see how you’ve fucked up. And that hurts you just as bad as you hurt that kid. Just know that the rest of life is like this. When you hurt someone you will eventually and inevitably feel this hurt. It sounds like you grew from the experience. God knows he did. I hope you keep growing. I know you will.
when it’s cold enough and smoke comes out when you breath, i still pretend i’m a dragon.	It’s not smoke but I do the same thing.
I was mean to a child while at work over 20 years ago and I still think about it	When I was about 8, I remember this one girl that everyone picked on (and I had contributed a few times). We were in line at lunch and she was ahead of me. It was my birthday that day.
When I was 10, I vandalised the school bathrooms in red pen and blamed it on someone else.	Jordan?
I went to ER with fake name to avoid paying	You scammed the biggest, most successful scammers in recorded human history. Good on you.
We are planning a gender reveal for our baby but I know the gender	As a father of three, I can promise you shutting the hell up is one of the most valuable skills you can learn. There are going to be lots of things you can't or shouldn't say and if you do, the consequences can be dire, ie lost relationships. Take this opportunity to practice. The ability to keep a secret translates into being the dad your kids can come to when they need someone to talk to without fear. It's worth it.
I had my phone sing me Happy Birthday and cried	Dead serious, pm me and I'll give you my number and sing Happy Birthday To You.
I cleaned the family shed and accidentally threw away some very expensive shoes...	Don't worry my grandpa threw away a 45k lamp and didn't know. Till this day we still laugh about it
I shat myself	That's the kind of post that keeps me subscribed here
I'm a peeping tom but instead of watching I listen and do the deed during	Sometimes you just gotta vent
I used to work at a stadium as a beer hawker, I would steal the 24 beers and sell for profit	Eh, i'd rather the $11 spent on a bud light go to a broke 23 year old than a multi-billionaire team owner.
I disabled appliances in my house because my landlord refused to pay for oil she used.	I'm impressed you had friends that came and helped you clean up a whole house and organize things. My friends would never do that. They may help me move a package or a couch, but never clean a whole house
Took a shit outside of girls house I was banging, and her landlord stepped in it.	Man okay, jacuzzi jizzer, track ball ass guy, now this. what the fuck, why is the subreddit filled with weirdos
I kept charging my mom and brothers credit cards in college	You've got good family. Just remember that whenever they need help or a favor.
I stole some of my grandma's weed about a year ago.	U owe granny a doobie
I still sleep with a teddy bear	That's sweet. Nothing at all to be ashamed of. Nobody should ever criticize anyone else's coping mechanisms as long as they don't harm anyone. Tex definitely doesn't harm anyone.
I failed to stop a stranger from being raped...	Think about this. You reacted, or failed to. You did not act. If you had taken a more measured approach, you might have quietly observed, noted important info, and decided whether or not you could or should intervene. You might have gotten the plate or a photo, but saved the girl? Possible but unlikely. You might have gotten dead.
I'm blackmailing somebody.	How did you find out!? You cant not tell us now!
My boss never approves my work if she thinks its a first draft...so now i lie	I've seen that too. Managers need to trust their people and force themselves to not correct or try to improve everything. It's hard, but it's healthier in the end.
I used to run a " fake report card" cartel back in high school	I would let people copy my work in computer class for money. I'd copy the projects onto a thumbdrive and pass it around to my customers.
I blackmailed a 26 year old man when I was 16	For a moment I thought you wanted to ask your 4chan friends to send you buttcarrot pics that you can forward. I mean it's 4chan. They'd most likely do it.
I stole money from my dad when I was a teenager	Maybe donate the amount stolen to a charity that deals with his illness.
I let someone else take the blame for absolutely destroying the plumbing.	> I pondered why they didn't keep a plunger in their restroom. Do rich people only take really dainty poops?
I accidentally fed the entire school cupcakes and cookies with weevils.	[deleted]
I stole from Lowes a few times and now I really regret doing so	I once accidentally stole a $3500 shed from Home Depot.
I used to steal from my store when I was a manager at McDonalds	My sister in law worked at McDonald's. There was a huge bag of mini m&ms in her fridge. I would eat them and wonder where she got such a big bag.
When I was in high school I stole a prize winning 4H potato from the State Fair.	As a former 4H kid, I am sad. Those silly projects often go to auction towards the end of the fair and many of those kids use those smaller projects to fund college or future businesses for themselves. It's honestly way more than just a potato, but an entire project with a lot of detail. I grew and sold perennials on the side to afford supplies for my main project that involved avian genetics, and I'm willing to bet that potato was funding for a larger, more complex project as well.
I told my parents I had to go back to university for 2 months for practicals even though they were cancelled to get away from home.	i hear ya! i’d do the same. enjoy the time away from them.
I'm transgender.... but I despise the general fakeness and selfishness of almost every transgender person I've ever met	I'm a woman who has been repeatedly told by several transwomen that I don't know what it's like to be a woman because I didn't 'earn' it. I always say the same thing. If you wanna be a woman, go for it. But don't be a bitch.
I stole from work	I'm sorry you are going through this. Have you thought about contacting food pantries in your area? There might be some, and there is no shame in using their services.
I stole the answer book when I was in 6th grade and never got caught.	Not trying to be snarky or anything, but how did you still fail the class if you had the answer book? Genuinely curious. Did you have a lot of in-class assignments or something?
Lied to my parents(divorced) about why I didn't want to walk at my college graduation. They died 6 months later.	Seems like you are trying to do the right thing when you made that decision. Anyway I wish you the best.
I threw a beer bottle at a car that blared music in the front of my apartment.	Guy I knew. 3rd floor apartment, sleeping. Taxi 4am comes outside sits on HORN BLASTING HONK HONK HOOOOOOOONK waiting for a person. Guy goes to his door launches half a breeze block at the car. Massive smashing sound as whole back window of the car is obliterated. Taxi screeches away. Silence returns.
I was a substitute teacher and called an 8th grader a 'social media slut' and it still haunts me today	You screwed up. The proper term is social media whore.
A few years ago i made fun of a girl for liking k-pop	I'm so happy to read that people care about the mean things they did in their past even though it might seem like a small thing. It makes it easier for me to forgive my past tormentors, knowing that they - like me - likely regret things that happened years ago.
I lied about being assaulted solely for attention .	You've gotta tell your therapist about this. It's one of the things that's been weighing on you for YEARS. If she can't handle that information, or if her attitude towards you changes, then look for another therapist who can help you better. Seriously, OP, you've gotta tell her how much this has affected you.
Boyfriend is a really deep sleeper and I often wake up hours before him. I play a game where I masturbate and cum as many times as possible before he wakes up. Never once gotten caught.	You want to give your bf the best morning of his life? Let yourself get caught. It'll be fun for you and straight out of a porn for him.
I lied about my mom being dead & I am racked with guilt.	>My life changed almost instantly
I only married my wife so she wouldn't commit suicide	No one should guilt you into anything by threatening harm on themselves. Its abusive and will eventually mentally drain you if this marriage keeps going. If you don’t love her, that’s okay and don’t feel bad for not. It’s been three years since you got married, if you haven’t brought yourself up to love her , you just don’t love her. Everybody deserves to be happy. Maybe go to some kind of counselling with her or have serious sit her down and express how you felt about her guilt tripping you into a marriage and about her sucidal behaviour. She’s might be going through a very deep depression.
When I was a kid (11 and younger), I vandalized my primary (elementary) school numerous times.	Thanks for sharing. I didn’t get diagnosed until 38. My psychologist was shocked that I had made it that far in life without knowing.
As a kid, I lit a match and dropped it into a full postbox (UK)	The list of things we do that are unwise or unkind is directly related to childhood.
A woman asked me to buy her groceries, I accepted and then I ran away from her	You did nothing wrong. "Buy me groceries so I can eat" should probably mean buy me some basic staples for the next few days. Imagine being broke and buying red bull.
I took someone's food at Panera Bread because I was hungry and had no money.	Try and pay it forward when you can. Buy someone a meal or somethin.
I’m admitting myself into a psychiatric ER tomorrow	I'm so proud of you for realizing and taking the initiative to get help. I know it's a hard thing to do, I've been struggling with myself to do it too.
I have driven under the influence and I regret it.	That’s all you can do. Count yourself lucky and be glad you learned your lesson without harming yourself or others.
Broke into my old house through the rooftop window	fuck your stepdad, he deserved it tbh
Son beat up his bully and I'm glad he did it	Schools claim that they don't condone violence yet do little to prevent it. Either that or they go after the wrong kid. It's so infuriating.
I lied about my favorite food for a couple of years	This is the stuff I come here for
Stole a Tamagotchi out of my teachers desk when I was 8	Nothing wrong with saving a life
I crop dust the old people at the pharmacy I frequent	Are the toots audible or is this a sbd situation?
I regret joining a gang, and now I am not sure how to cut ties to these people.	Keep non suspiciously on the downlow and then go to college/uni in another country. Get yourself away completely plausibly. Still remain contactable (I know this sounds weird but it's less sus for them and better for you and your family), but be beyond the reach of helping them out. Eventually they'll lose interest.
I wish we had never adopted this kid.	Wow - that is a lot...he sounds borderline sociopathic/psychopathic possibly (lack of empathy, hurting animals, sexually forward, lying and violent tantrums)...that can happen sometimes especially with older adopted kids where all they experienced from birth is abuse and emotional detachment...they themselves detach early on and its nearly impossible to switch them back on to where they can have empathy and people skills that extend beyond his own wishes. Has he ever cried?? I'd see a therapist in child behavior about this..he may require some strong meds and therapy meetings. Don't be discouraged in adoptions..not everyone of them is broken..I believe fully in adoption and applaud your brave determination. It can get trying - hang in there.
I used garlic and onions in a meal when I was strictly asked not to.	Maybe he farts a lot after eating them. 🤷‍♂️
Me and my buddy stole hundreds of dollars worth of books in 5th grade from the book fair during lunch...	I grew up pretty poor and knew that if I had asked for money for the book fair my mom would say no. So I stole $20 thinking she wouldn't notice.. of course she did, and she when she confronted me she cried and said that it was for groceries and she had borrowed it :'( I felt so so bad
My parents think im almost done with my degree, in reality im sitting on park benches everyday for almost 3 years.	Sign up for an online college so you can sit on a park bench and take classes instead of watching Netflix! Or tell them you decided academia isn’t for you but learn a trade instead! Anything’s better than wasting your life away day after day. Do something you won’t regret!
Stole over 50$ worth of Free sonic ice cream coupons in 1st grade	In r/confession we got murders, scandals and 80,000 of products. Then we got this savage
I hid my field trip money in someone’s desk so they would get in trouble.	You deserved that

As a Caddie, I Once Stole Money from an Older Gentleman

I wouldn't say this is stealing. This is just the other guy giving you a tip as well.

I drugged a co-worker and he can't tell anyone

No one likes a W

I stole $45,000 from my former employer and think I am morally justified

Why do you think people never investigate financial crimes? There is literally an entire field dedicated to finding it. Forensic accounting and auditing.

I put peanut butter in my friend's drink thinking she was lying about her allergy.

Jesus Christ

My first two tattoos on human skin (other than my own) were on two 13-year-old children (not mine)

This is the quality content I'm here for.

I stole a lot of cigarettes from my dad.

I think most teenager smokers have done this. My nan was a secret(not so secret very badly hidden, who waters the plants at 10pm?!)smoker and we found her stash and would pinch one or two when we were round because we were skint then use our pocket money to randomly put a 10box back when we could.

I can get free McDonald’s meal any time without paying anything.

Don’t update the app

My friend and I burned down a house when I was a kid

Shit this better be a alt account arson in some states has no statue of limitations

Found $760. Didn’t return it even though i knew who lost it.

I had this happen once. I was mowing a friend's lawn for some extra money and found a wad of bills on the street. Turned out it was $1,000 even. I really needed the money at the time and I was really tempted to keep it, so I decided that if it was his I'd return it to him and if not it was mine now since I didn't know any of his neighbors or anything. Finished up the lawn and was chatting to him and he mentioned he was stressing because he'd withdrawn money for rent and then dropped it somewhere. I whipped it out of my pocket and made his day, but was a little bummed that I still had to come up with MY bills money.

I told my school my mom died in Afghanistan. She then did a surprise visit on leave to the school.

Similar thing happened to me but the opposite way...

I spiked the entire offices coffee supply with decaf coffee beans and told nobody.

Just don't do that the other way around. My dad drinks decalf because he has a heart condition and caffeine can kill him.

I know that my husband has sex with other women.

Get yourself tested for STDs

I’m a liar but only in one tiny, stupid regard. I say “I just woke up” all the time when I absolutely did not

This is almost entirely harmless, but it sounds like the root of it might be a lack of self confidence. Maybe you could give yourself a break and reframe seeng yourself "awkward" into natural or authentic.

I threw mangoes on my neighbours house and it got all stained

I always knew it was you and your cousin! I’m on my way over to settle the score!

We bribed a kid in our high-school to take the blame for an adult video cassette.

That's funny as shit! Back in those days, my brother got a "tape" stuck in the VCR, and had to shamefacedly take it to be repaired. He said when he picked it up, a couple people came out of the back of the shop to laugh at him.

I lied: I did give you the slice of pizza that dropped on the ground.

I got a laugh from the title but as I read on I just got sad. Sorry man.

[No Regrets] I bought a rooster just to piss off my neigbors

10/10 approve. As a flock owner I️ concur this an acceptable cock move ❤️

I used a corporate "emergency" credit card for 3 years on small things for myself.

They keep shit like that in their back pocket to fire ur ass if they disapprove of your performance in the future

When I was 11, my dad’s girlfriend’s 22 year old son used to regularly beat my dad up to a bloody pulp in-front of me. I’m 30 now, and I’m still haunted by it..

Holy fuck dude. So sorry to read this. Do you have an option to speak with a therapist to help you process this?

I was mean to one of the only people who were nice to me in High School

Contact her and be honest with her like you did here.

I was relieved when my ex cheated on me so I didn't have to stay in contact with their kid.

Does your current spouse want kids or is he just fond of them? I can't see the relationship lasting if it's the former.

In High School I plagiarized a paper from the internet and submitted it via Turnitin.

I once plagiarized myself after suspecting my professor didn't read our papers. I didn't even change the date so I had plausible deniability of "accidentally printing the wrong file." I received an A 2 weeks in a row on the same paper.

I work for an ice cream store. If a customer is rude, I purposely give them less than what they asked for or tell them we’re out of the topping they want even though I have more in the back.

That's honestly what they deserve. As long as you're not spitting in their ice cream or something like that

In Year 12 I lied to my science teacher, saying I handed in an assignment that I never even started. I ended up getting a B+ on it.

Man, you are lucky! I handed a major assignment in, but the teacher made me re-do it because she had lost it lol. Now, I take pictures of everything to keep as evidence.

As a kid, i stole military equipment from not so abandoned military base

This is 100% Eastern Europe.

The first time I drove by myself after getting my license, I had a minor accident but never ever told anyone - not even the driver of the other car 👀.

That's actually really impressive tf

I give away food when my managers not looking

Pro tip: Keep track of as much as you can and waste what you think should be recorded!

When I'm pissed at my brother I dump small amounts of glitter on his bed.

[deleted]

Stole a girls money on picture day.

Im sure she's still pretty pissed off about it... I'd definitely use caution about fessing up...

I got hired at McDonalds with the intent of doing the bare minimum and intending on getting fired

Sounds like they beat you at your own game and they played the long game and won!

I gave away a bunch of free stuff so I didn't have to deal with customer complaints.

I hate people. Its one thing to complain but people are such dicks while doing it. If I have to complain about something I still try yo be courteous to the person Im asking. Some people need to be wacked with a bat.

I'm a psychologist who wasn't able to help one child, and it has broken me

Is the mother in therapy as well? If she is not seeking counselling odds are that she is sabotaging him without even realizing it.

[Light] I crashed a brand new Ford Mustang at a test drive event hosted by Ford

Don't feel too bad, OP. A writer for Jalopnik got kicked out by GM brass after accidentally crashing a new Camaro at an event they were hosting.

My job is to flirt with guys and make them feel nervous so that my boss can buy their projects for less money.

This is extremely common in software sales for large systems. Works well, too. Only problem: it's not really a long term career choice...

I walked 2 miles with half ounce of weed up my butt cheeks.

Ok i laughed, here have an updoot. 🥳

I hit a kid on the top of his head as hard as I could

Unfortunately it's the kid's parents you should have hit hard as fuck. But hey... Life lesson about actions and consequences I suppose.

I auctioned off my virginity

So virginity at 18 is a late bloomer...the more you know

I stole over £1500 in LEGO from Toys'R'Us in 6 months

How did your parents not notice? That’s a lot of Lego.

When I worked as a valet as a teenager, I chipped the paint on a $90K car and never reported it. Later when I gave it back to him he tipped me $20…

I’ve done the same. Was about a decade ago now. Working overnight. Had to bring this ridiculously oversized truck out of a garage with 2cubic feet pillars that were about 8ft high.

I left a job, and then I changed everyone’s passwords.

I did something like this many years ago. I worked IT for a small local business and the owner who used to be my friend was cool but when his business partner came along, it changed everything. They both were assholes to me. I was 1-man show and when I got a better job, I told the owner that I am resigning. His response: "oh good, it was getting hard to keep paying you."

Stopped caring at my fast food job, and if you’re nice to me I’ll hook you up with a lot of free food snuck into your order

My boss once gave a guy extra meat in his lamb sandwich because the dude had a great beard

I told a guy that my trazodone would get him high so he would leave me alone

So you roofied a guy before he roofied you. 🫣

I stole thousands of dollars worth of makeup from Sephora and I regret it

If it bugs you like that just get rid of the stolen merchandise and move on. If you've changed the behavior the guilt will fade once you aren't confronted with the evidence all around you. Anything that's reusable like bags or clothing you should donate to a shelter, turn it into a Robinhood moment, and let someone who needs it reap the benefits of your bad behavior.

I bullied someone with 2 “friends” when I was in second grade and I regretted it.

Being in the fat kids spot, the “I have no friends and people are still picking at me” spot, I can’t help but feel angry towards you. But also forgiving. You see your wrongdoing. You see how you’ve fucked up. And that hurts you just as bad as you hurt that kid. Just know that the rest of life is like this. When you hurt someone you will eventually and inevitably feel this hurt. It sounds like you grew from the experience. God knows he did. I hope you keep growing. I know you will.

when it’s cold enough and smoke comes out when you breath, i still pretend i’m a dragon.

It’s not smoke but I do the same thing.

I was mean to a child while at work over 20 years ago and I still think about it

When I was about 8, I remember this one girl that everyone picked on (and I had contributed a few times). We were in line at lunch and she was ahead of me. It was my birthday that day.

When I was 10, I vandalised the school bathrooms in red pen and blamed it on someone else.

Jordan?

I went to ER with fake name to avoid paying

You scammed the biggest, most successful scammers in recorded human history. Good on you.

We are planning a gender reveal for our baby but I know the gender

As a father of three, I can promise you shutting the hell up is one of the most valuable skills you can learn. There are going to be lots of things you can't or shouldn't say and if you do, the consequences can be dire, ie lost relationships. Take this opportunity to practice. The ability to keep a secret translates into being the dad your kids can come to when they need someone to talk to without fear. It's worth it.

I had my phone sing me Happy Birthday and cried

Dead serious, pm me and I'll give you my number and sing Happy Birthday To You.

I cleaned the family shed and accidentally threw away some very expensive shoes...

Don't worry my grandpa threw away a 45k lamp and didn't know. Till this day we still laugh about it

I shat myself

That's the kind of post that keeps me subscribed here

I'm a peeping tom but instead of watching I listen and do the deed during

Sometimes you just gotta vent

I used to work at a stadium as a beer hawker, I would steal the 24 beers and sell for profit

Eh, i'd rather the $11 spent on a bud light go to a broke 23 year old than a multi-billionaire team owner.

I disabled appliances in my house because my landlord refused to pay for oil she used.

I'm impressed you had friends that came and helped you clean up a whole house and organize things. My friends would never do that. They may help me move a package or a couch, but never clean a whole house

Took a shit outside of girls house I was banging, and her landlord stepped in it.

Man okay, jacuzzi jizzer, track ball ass guy, now this. what the fuck, why is the subreddit filled with weirdos

I kept charging my mom and brothers credit cards in college

You've got good family. Just remember that whenever they need help or a favor.

I stole some of my grandma's weed about a year ago.

U owe granny a doobie

I still sleep with a teddy bear

That's sweet. Nothing at all to be ashamed of. Nobody should ever criticize anyone else's coping mechanisms as long as they don't harm anyone. Tex definitely doesn't harm anyone.

I failed to stop a stranger from being raped...

Think about this. You reacted, or failed to. You did not act. If you had taken a more measured approach, you might have quietly observed, noted important info, and decided whether or not you could or should intervene. You might have gotten the plate or a photo, but saved the girl? Possible but unlikely. You might have gotten dead.

I'm blackmailing somebody.

How did you find out!? You cant not tell us now!

My boss never approves my work if she thinks its a first draft...so now i lie

I've seen that too. Managers need to trust their people and force themselves to not correct or try to improve everything. It's hard, but it's healthier in the end.

I used to run a " fake report card" cartel back in high school

I would let people copy my work in computer class for money. I'd copy the projects onto a thumbdrive and pass it around to my customers.

I blackmailed a 26 year old man when I was 16

For a moment I thought you wanted to ask your 4chan friends to send you buttcarrot pics that you can forward. I mean it's 4chan. They'd most likely do it.

I stole money from my dad when I was a teenager

Maybe donate the amount stolen to a charity that deals with his illness.

I let someone else take the blame for absolutely destroying the plumbing.

> I pondered why they didn't keep a plunger in their restroom. Do rich people only take really dainty poops?

I accidentally fed the entire school cupcakes and cookies with weevils.

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I stole from Lowes a few times and now I really regret doing so

I once accidentally stole a $3500 shed from Home Depot.

I used to steal from my store when I was a manager at McDonalds

My sister in law worked at McDonald's. There was a huge bag of mini m&ms in her fridge. I would eat them and wonder where she got such a big bag.

When I was in high school I stole a prize winning 4H potato from the State Fair.

As a former 4H kid, I am sad. Those silly projects often go to auction towards the end of the fair and many of those kids use those smaller projects to fund college or future businesses for themselves. It's honestly way more than just a potato, but an entire project with a lot of detail. I grew and sold perennials on the side to afford supplies for my main project that involved avian genetics, and I'm willing to bet that potato was funding for a larger, more complex project as well.

I told my parents I had to go back to university for 2 months for practicals even though they were cancelled to get away from home.

i hear ya! i’d do the same. enjoy the time away from them.

I'm transgender.... but I despise the general fakeness and selfishness of almost every transgender person I've ever met

I'm a woman who has been repeatedly told by several transwomen that I don't know what it's like to be a woman because I didn't 'earn' it. I always say the same thing. If you wanna be a woman, go for it. But don't be a bitch.

I stole from work

I'm sorry you are going through this. Have you thought about contacting food pantries in your area? There might be some, and there is no shame in using their services.

I stole the answer book when I was in 6th grade and never got caught.

Not trying to be snarky or anything, but how did you still fail the class if you had the answer book? Genuinely curious. Did you have a lot of in-class assignments or something?

Lied to my parents(divorced) about why I didn't want to walk at my college graduation. They died 6 months later.

Seems like you are trying to do the right thing when you made that decision. Anyway I wish you the best.

I threw a beer bottle at a car that blared music in the front of my apartment.

Guy I knew. 3rd floor apartment, sleeping. Taxi 4am comes outside sits on HORN BLASTING HONK HONK HOOOOOOOONK waiting for a person. Guy goes to his door launches half a breeze block at the car. Massive smashing sound as whole back window of the car is obliterated. Taxi screeches away. Silence returns.

I was a substitute teacher and called an 8th grader a 'social media slut' and it still haunts me today

You screwed up. The proper term is social media *whore*.

A few years ago i made fun of a girl for liking k-pop

I'm so happy to read that people care about the mean things they did in their past even though it might seem like a small thing. It makes it easier for me to forgive my past tormentors, knowing that they - like me - likely regret things that happened years ago.

I lied about being assaulted solely for attention .

You've gotta tell your therapist about this. It's one of the things that's been weighing on you for YEARS. If she can't handle that information, or if her attitude towards you changes, then look for another therapist who can help you better. Seriously, OP, you've gotta tell her how much this has affected you.

Boyfriend is a really deep sleeper and I often wake up hours before him. I play a game where I masturbate and cum as many times as possible before he wakes up. Never once gotten caught.

You want to give your bf the best morning of his life? *Let yourself get caught.* It'll be fun for you and straight out of a porn for him.

I lied about my mom being dead & I am racked with guilt.

>My life changed almost instantly

I only married my wife so she wouldn't commit suicide

No one should guilt you into anything by threatening harm on themselves. Its abusive and will eventually mentally drain you if this marriage keeps going. If you don’t love her, that’s okay and don’t feel bad for not. It’s been three years since you got married, if you haven’t brought yourself up to love her , you just don’t love her. Everybody deserves to be happy. Maybe go to some kind of counselling with her or have serious sit her down and express how you felt about her guilt tripping you into a marriage and about her sucidal behaviour. She’s might be going through a very deep depression.

When I was a kid (11 and younger), I vandalized my primary (elementary) school numerous times.

Thanks for sharing. I didn’t get diagnosed until 38. My psychologist was shocked that I had made it that far in life without knowing.

As a kid, I lit a match and dropped it into a full postbox (UK)

The list of things we do that are unwise or unkind is directly related to childhood.

A woman asked me to buy her groceries, I accepted and then I ran away from her

You did nothing wrong. "Buy me groceries so I can eat" should probably mean buy me some basic staples for the next few days. Imagine being broke and buying red bull.

I took someone's food at Panera Bread because I was hungry and had no money.

Try and pay it forward when you can. Buy someone a meal or somethin.

I’m admitting myself into a psychiatric ER tomorrow

I'm so proud of you for realizing and taking the initiative to get help. I know it's a hard thing to do, I've been struggling with myself to do it too.

I have driven under the influence and I regret it.

That’s all you can do. Count yourself lucky and be glad you learned your lesson without harming yourself or others.

Broke into my old house through the rooftop window

fuck your stepdad, he deserved it tbh

Son beat up his bully and I'm glad he did it

Schools claim that they don't condone violence yet do little to prevent it. Either that or they go after the wrong kid. It's so infuriating.

I lied about my favorite food for a couple of years

This is the stuff I come here for

Stole a Tamagotchi out of my teachers desk when I was 8

Nothing wrong with saving a life

I crop dust the old people at the pharmacy I frequent

Are the toots audible or is this a sbd situation?

I regret joining a gang, and now I am not sure how to cut ties to these people.

Keep non suspiciously on the downlow and then go to college/uni in another country. Get yourself away completely plausibly. Still remain contactable (I know this sounds weird but it's less sus for them and better for you and your family), but be beyond the reach of helping them out. Eventually they'll lose interest.

I wish we had never adopted this kid.

Wow - that is a lot...he sounds borderline sociopathic/psychopathic possibly (lack of empathy, hurting animals, sexually forward, lying and violent tantrums)...that can happen sometimes especially with older adopted kids where all they experienced from birth is abuse and emotional detachment...they themselves detach early on and its nearly impossible to switch them back on to where they can have empathy and people skills that extend beyond his own wishes. Has he ever cried?? I'd see a therapist in child behavior about this..he may require some strong meds and therapy meetings. Don't be discouraged in adoptions..not everyone of them is broken..I believe fully in adoption and applaud your brave determination. It can get trying - hang in there.

I used garlic and onions in a meal when I was strictly asked not to.

Maybe he farts a lot after eating them. 🤷‍♂️

Me and my buddy stole hundreds of dollars worth of books in 5th grade from the book fair during lunch...

I grew up pretty poor and knew that if I had asked for money for the book fair my mom would say no. So I stole $20 thinking she wouldn't notice.. of course she did, and she when she confronted me she cried and said that it was for groceries and she had borrowed it :'( I felt so so bad

My parents think im almost done with my degree, in reality im sitting on park benches everyday for almost 3 years.

Sign up for an online college so you can sit on a park bench and take classes instead of watching Netflix! Or tell them you decided academia isn’t for you but learn a trade instead! Anything’s better than wasting your life away day after day. Do something you won’t regret!

Stole over 50$ worth of Free sonic ice cream coupons in 1st grade

In r/confession we got murders, scandals and 80,000 of products. Then we got this savage

I hid my field trip money in someone’s desk so they would get in trouble.

You deserved that