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I'm honestly angry that I'm still alive, why cant I just fucking die already? Life is nothing but endless suffering anyway, theres no point in living. | I feel you.
I know you wont listen to any words of encuragement, cuz I wouldnt have when I was feeling like that. But I know what youre going through, and I might help you. Maybe not, but if you wanna die, why not try before you go?
If I can tell you one thing, its to try to accept yourself. Self love is a step abov... |
They originally belonged to my grandpa; I'm not a hunter but we used to go out target shooting and I was a pretty good marksman. When he died, he left me two of his old rifles. They've mostly sat locked in my closet ever since, worth a lot of money but unable to let go of them, partly out of sentimentality, but I'd com... | Congratulations Op, you did something really great for yourself! |
Information in class is difficult to obtain. As I’m usually having anxiety attacks and trying to talk myself down. If not that I’m just mindlessly taking notes. Not really focused on what my professor is saying. When I look at a question it makes my head hurt. Literally. I just want to put crumble the paper, shut my la... | Yes, it makes my brain foggy. Sometimes I just sit there dumbly looking at my piece of paper and thinking 'why the fuck am I even bothering?' |
u guys ever get the urge to just completely destroy everything around, i want to be addicted, i want to have no friends or family, i want to be someone that disgusts people by just existing, i want to drop out of school, idek why i have these urges but i dont want my life together (not like it is now) | Hello self deprecating thoughts my old friend |
So it's been like that for 5 years, and I've been telling myself over, and over again that it would get better with time, but I dont think anymore that it will, nor do I know if I'd actually want it to be better. The whole covid thing made it way harder to distract myself as much as I did before, which made me realise ... | To be honest... I think there is no general purpose to life. I constantly seem to look at my past and present and find nothing that motivates me to do anything anymore. I've tried to find the beauty in things, tried to make meaningful social interactions, tried to help others, but... I never feel like it's enough. Mayb... |
In my hardest moments of depression, the thought monster convinces me that I'm worthless but that other people still have worth. I also happen to be convinced that people are either lucky or unlucky and that there's really nothing we have any real control over. Because of this, I can even see the people who do the most... | yes i also think that the dumbest things others do are things i would easily end up doing in their place |
Is anyone else “casually suicidal”? Like, you’re perfectly okay with the idea of dying and it’s just an average lingering thought part of your daily thought process. It’s more like thinking of ways to kill yourself rather than actually acting on them. | yeah, I don't actually plan on killing myself any time soon, but whenever something goes wrong I have this thought of basically 'or you could just kill yourself' |
I'm 20 Female from the Philippines.
My Cousin attempted to raped me last month.
My Dad knew about it and kick him out of the house, But now my cousin is back and welcomed by my Dad with open arms.
They expect me to just forget about what happened just get on with life.
I can't sleep, I can barely eat, past rape traum... | Hello everyone. I don't know if everybody will receive a notification about this but I decided to not do it, A very kind person made me think otherwise. I promise to finish my studies and be a teacher and help children in need. It may not be now but someday I will pay all your kindness forward, Thank you so much for gi... |
Every day just goes by, no time to rest. It's like after work I'm even more of an empty husk of a person. I just sit in my room trying to get enough energy to at least do some chores, but I can't. I'm so fucking tired thinking that this is what the rest of my life is going to be like. How can anyone find such a life wo... | It’s a mystery to me how. But maybe non depressed people got more energy to do chores outside of work and that shit motivates them or something like that |
I'm constantly worried about her, I'm spending every minute with her making sure I keep my eye on her and make her smile.
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She keeps saying that she's a burden on me and that I shouldn't even be with her, she's tried to harm herself multiple times, and I was there to stop her.
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Please tell me if the... | Honestly just look after yourself. You're obviously doing the best you can but you're going to burn out if you keep giving all of your energy to her. Its lovely that you care so much but chronic depressives will always have good days and bad days, dont blame yourself for her mental health. |
Call me lazy but I don't want to work 40+ hours a week for the rest of my life.
I'm ugly I've got bad social anxiety. I don't want to keep putting effort into my appearance and personality just to keep getting rejected.
I don't want kids. I don't want to bring another person into this shitty world.
What am I meant ... | >I don't want kids. I don't want to bring another person into this shitty world.
Good choice. ✌ |
Fuck seasonal depression, temporary depression, clinical depression, crippling depression, chronic depression, fuck all of the depression that exists in this world.
Having a hard day today I’m sorry. | You forgot my favorite: treatment-resistant depression. I've spent 30+ years dealing with this shit and accepted that it, and anxiety, will always be there.
I hope things improve for you today, OP |
I’m only suicidal if I have a job. No matter the job. Having to work is what makes me want to die. Doesn’t even matter what job it is. Everything could go perfectly and I’ll still want to die. Not joking. Being dead serious. No one gets it. “We’re meant to work!” “I would be so bored without a job!” Nope. Not me. Havin... | We are definitely NOT MEANT TO WORK. Maybe work as in like gardening, building to survive, art, cooking, that kind of thing. But work for nothing just so someone else can be rich? I don’t fucking understand it. And then to even try to escape that loop hole, you got very few options.
Even now, I only work 4 hours a day... |
Im already past my mid 20s and for about 8 years my parents had to deal with me. An adult with low functioning depression. They love me enough to keep me by their side and make sure they don't irritate me, but I havnt gotten better since. My self image is so horrible that dying seems like it would just bring peace to m... | In Buddhism, there's the parable of the second arrow. The idea is a warrior gets shot by arrow while in battle. In addition to the debilitating pain he's having to deal with, he begins to lament how unlucky he was to get shot and how it might impact his future as a warrior. The pain of his thoughts become greater than ... |
Just a few words misconstrued, a glare from a stranger, a self-critical thought out of nowhere. I was okay earlier, feeling optimistic. Now I’m feeling utterly depressed again and don’t want to go on. I hate this so much. | I totally feel you, sometimes nothing even happens and our mood just takes a turn for the worst |
Hey, guys. I’ve been a long time lurker here but never actually posted. I don’t think I’m even looking for advice, just wanted to tell somebody what’s going on because my agoraphobia has gotten to the point where I’m literally too scared to speak to my family or friends.
Right now I’m charging my phone in my car befo... | I am sending you all the best wishes. You are so strong to do this. It may not feel like it, but it is probably one of the bravest things one can do. |
I've been told have this or that personality trait but all I see in myself is emptiness. | I told my therapist that I don’t believe I’ll ever get better. She asked me what I thought that might look like if I did though. I didn’t have an answer. I can’t envision anything that would make me happy or imagine what that might feel like. |
I work out and I see zero benefits when it comes to my depression. If anything, working out makes me feel more exhausted and drained. I dread working out, but I still do it because I love being firm and toned, but no matter what type of exercise I do, my depression doesn't go away. AT ALL.
I am angry at people who cl... | Staying under sunlight just makes my head warm and doesn't produce good "sunny" feelings, all i feel is regular boring sunny day. |
I'm so tired mentally and physically but no one seems to understand, i don't know how to show what i'm really feeling but everyday feels like i'm suffocating.
Everyone keeps telling me it will be better soon but i don't believe that, i'm tired and i've tried every way of help available to me but nothing helps.
I don't ... | I’ve been depressed since I was 13, maybe younger, I’m 27 now and only started getting help for it this year. For me, it’s really difficult when my depression is at its worst to picture an end to it, even though I’m not in the pits 24/7.
Something that really worked for me when I was younger was finding something rid... |
I visited with a friend for a few hours, it was fine, nothing bad happened, we chatted and ate lunch at a restaurant. When I got home I was met with this horrible wave of sadness and hopelessness, I just want to curl into a ball and disappear. There was nothing stressful or difficult about this visit but my brain is ac... | I get this too. it's like during socializing I'm keeping myself in the regular person mode but as soon as my mind gets a chance to relax I immediately feel everything inside me drop. try to keep reminding yourself that you will be ok, don't try to block out the feeling but don't dwell on it any longer than you have to.... |
I (34f) literally have not left my bed in a month other than to go to the bathroom or get food from the kitchen. I order groceries from Instacart and shop on amazon if I need something. I haven’t showered (I hate the idea of water touching my body) but I have done basic hygiene daily.
I don’t sleep all day, in fact I’m... | Small steps work best. You have maybe thought about how your perfect or most ideal day should look like. Try and take one activity from that idea and try it out. Don’t like it after trying it? No worries, skip it the next day and try something else.
It’s great that you continue taking your meds. That’s already part o... |
Nobody admits it but it's true. "*Time heals all wounds*". Year after year you just get numb, it gets easier to muster but its different. I have improved, become more numb to all of it. There's no hope with this sickness. | Yup. I’ve spent decades chasing the idea that I can “get better” but I’ve recently come to believe that it simply won’t happen; there’s too much trauma and grief and those things don’t just go away. I’ve found that fighting against it and desperately holding on to the idea of going ‘back’ to the person you were before,... |
I am not miserable enough to end my life, but I am not happy enough to want to keep living. Anyone get that feeling? 😐 I’m just numb now | I think the numbness is a major part of depression for me |
How the fuck do people keep going to work every day? How am I supposed to keep doing this? I'm literally just working part time at a coffee shop but I feel as though I am in agony every day. It's all meaningless and worthless, we literally work a job so we can afford to live another day to work our job. I can't even be... | This world sucks |
And I know that sounds ridiculous but I’m honestly devastated. I'm not anything that a 25 year old is supposed to be. I'm not pretty or thin or fun. I'm not spontaneous, or sexy or uninhibited. I don't have any friends. I don't have a partner. I don't have anything except regrets. And I know I'm still young but it feel... | I turn 26 this month and could have written the post myself. Feel tired of existing |
I can’t even believe that this is it. My heart is pumping through my ears, it’s almost like I’m nervous but I’m ready. Me and my long term relationship broke up because I’m a toxic piece of shit and he would genuinely rather be dead than listen to what I have to say anymore. All my hobbies are dead, I have no friends, ... | >I just can’t believe this is my last day. I wish I would have done things differently. I wish I would have went to the mall one last time, or maybe the movies or something.
do one of those things right now, the call of the void is always happy to wait until tomorrow |
All I fantasize about is being able to redo my entire life. I dream about waking up and being 10 again, and just being able to do it all over again. But the reality is that will never happen, and it hurts coming to terms with that. I hate everything, I just wanna start over and fix my regrets. | I have nothing to add but to say you are not alone in thinking this |
Yeah I’m done. She told me to go get help and figure it out myself. No real compassion at all from her at all. I really hate being a man. I know what I must do now. | Hey mate, that is terrible. Just a silly question though. If you're sold on suicide already, why not try something new before? Since you can always fall back to your old idea.
If your wife is not being supportive, maybe you could try something different. Since the alternative seems to be suicide, anyway... |
I used to self sabotage and act rather callously. I still do somewhat, although I’ve become more mindful. When I used to feel depressed I felt like I had a reason. Like my anxiety. Or the fact that I drank too much last night. Or that I was self deprecating all day. Or because I spoke/acted on impulse and suffered the ... | Keep going. The first period is the worse cause you think “I did all those sacrifices, got rid of my crutches for what? I still feel like before”.
But in the long run it will get easier.
Better not to indulge in those crutches again, if possible. |
I’m a psychologist and depressed. I feel so bad for my clients. I have to go to work because how else am I supposed to afford life? I have no enthusiasm or energy for therapy and have been a horrible cheerleader. I went into this field to help others not feel the way I’ve felt, but it all seems hopeless.
EDIT: Th... | So brave of you to admit this in the first place |
My friend who has severe depression has been ignoring my messages for half a year. I sent him messages about once or twice per month. Sometimes I asked him if he is feeling OK, sometimes I shared the funny picture of my pet. I also shared with him some news that he might be interested in. I also told him it is OK if he... | Yes,it makes you want to isolate from everyone and you loose interest in all the things you used to enjoy.You feel sad and have no drive. |
I think I'm gonna end it all in an hour or so. I already wrote a latter to all my friends and family, I think I'm actually gonna do it instead of going at work. I'm scared of failing to do so.
edit: I am still here, I actually was planning on doing it on my way to work, but while talking about it with some of you I go... | If you're looking for a sign from something or someone in the universe, I just want you to know that this is the sign. Don't. Give yourself another day. I can't say I know what your situation is, and I won't pretend to understand, but all I can truly say is just don't. |
Went to the dentist today for the normal checkup, I have 14 fucking cavities. I’m so tired of this shit. It’s so hard for me to take care of hygiene. Dental or not- i went all of last week without showering which I KNOW is disgusting. All I want to do is sleep, I’m tired of existing. I was sitting in the fucking dentis... | I keep my toothbrush and toothpaste on my bedside table. Along with water bottles and a cup I can spit in. A gentle suggestion |
Nothing or anyone excites you anymore. Not one single person can turn you on. Music doesn’t mean anything at all. Food is all the same and places don’t make a difference. Too lazy to speak and too lazy to explain things. Your room starts to feel like a jail cell. You start to notice the same things happening over and o... | That’s a good description of how I have felt at one time. Most people will never understand that void in our hearts feeling almost joyless and empty. |
I actually feel like I'm going insane
Every single fucking day I lose more and more of myself.
It's been 6 months since I lost the one I love
I've lost all my friends
I have nothing
I feel dead and I'm not even dead
I wish I died at birth
I wish I was never born | You brought together a community through a funny war. You turned us from a group of schizophrenic people, to a united group that brings joy to everyone. You are the reason I love r/titanfall. If you can do all of this, you can absolutely get over this. We believe in you |
I've never been completely happy . From the time of consciousness, I've never been happy. As a matter of fact I've always been sad. Internally lonely. Delusioned. No mental peace.
Each year as I got older, my depression would reach certain heights. Get more extreme.
Around 19 years old, one morning, I woke up and d... | im in the same boat bro but close to 30.. idk how much longer i can keep going |
Hi all so I switched anxiety meds a month back and dropped 40 pounds! Plus exercise I was really starting to gain body confidence.
Well im at work rn I've just been informed by a old coworker who really cares alot about me, older lady real sweet.that it's being spread around that I'm on crack now, and i shouldnt be do... | No amount of convincing will get them to stop thinking you’re on crack, it’s really difficult dealing with mob mentality.
Might as well just focus on yourself instead of trying to convince others lol |
I’m likely to be put in an inpatient ward next week but no one would expect it. I maintain my hygiene, I eat normally, and I hold down a 40hr a week in-office job. I have a roommate. By all accounts, I’m well adjusted and a ‘functioning’ member of society.
I’m so suicidal it’s crushing. I attempted to start therapy bu... | Yeah and it sucks. I'm the same as you, working and "functional", but I feel so sad, unmotivated, exhausted, and hopeless all the time. My suicidal ideation is chronic. I've tried for years (therapy, meds, working out, etc.) to get better in any way, but nothing really helps. People stop caring after a while. And any ... |
I am suffering too much to live, but loved just enough to stay.
I dont know at this point, basically a ranting and yelling into the void.
Probably no one would see this.
I just had a seizure caused from my anti depressants and anti psychotics. Bad day indeed. | I work in evictions, and this couldn't be more true. I feel like your title in and of itself is a complex socioeconomic issue that goes beyond the simple chemical reactions that cause depression. It's a fucked up world. |
im 18. ive been doing this for years since i stopped going to school due to an incident. i know its unhealthy and i know it might kill me one day, but i cant stop.
im always too tired to leave bed, so i end up staying in bed for around 20 hours each day. i havent left my house in almost 2 weeks, and when i leave my be... | I used to do this all the time too… now it’s only occasionally. I found that when I wake up, I have about a 30 minute window of time to motivate to shower, if I stay in bed too long, I’m stuck. So now, I get out of bed as fast as possible, shower, give myself a small reward, do something else productive, small reward… ... |
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