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I (14M) have a bone disease known as Multiple Hereditary Exostoses (MHE). It causes benign bone tumors to grow everywhere on my body. Although they aren't cancerous, they are very painful when they are near a nerve.
A lot of these tumors have grown in my knees, fingers and ribs. You can probably guess there are a lot of nerves and muscles there that can be pinched and pierced. It hurts quite a lot. I am constantly at level 5 pain (scale of 1-10). I can only walk for up to 2 minutes, I can't write (with a pen, if I couldnt type this post wouldnt exist lol) and I'm basically in agony.
We have decided I will go for surgery to saw off some of the most painful tumors in my knee. Hopefully this will restore my ability to walk. The doctors have also decided we should remove 2 of my ribs, which have cracked due to the tumors. They'll be replaced with metal I think.
There is a 20% chance of death with all these very complicated procedures, and of course a chance this surgery doesn't change anything, or even makes it worse. Rolling a less than 6 sided dice to determine if I live or die. But to be honest, I don't really care what happens in this surgery.
If it works, great, I can walk again. If it fails and my condition stays the same/deteriorates, I've adapted to this disease enough. I can probably handle a few turns for the worst. And if I die, well, I suppose then there is no more pain.
My friends say it is wrong for me to feel okay about dying. I'm not suicidal, I wouldn't kill myself if I had the chance. But I don't exactly care if I die at this point. It's in fate's hands at this point.
Comment anything, in 7 hours, I'll be on the operating table that'll determine my destiny.
EDIT: Soon about to enter the operating room. Welp, this is it. Let's see our fate
EDIT 2; I'M ALIVE, LES GOOOO. Recovery pain's a bitch but otherwise, I'm fine
EDIT 3: Here is a post showing an extremely large update. https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/tsroac/update_3_weeks_ago_i_might_have_died_now_im_alive/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
EDIT 4: Hey, I've recently turned 16. Just wanted to give an update on my life.
I'm still sick, unfortunately, that's the sad part of chronic illnesses, but... that's alright. I've coped with it, and I thank you for reading this, for whatever reason, years later.
Also, I know that the percentages my younger self wrote was absolute nonsense according to a few commentors. Apologies, I was a 14 year old who was panicking because of a surgery. My odds of survival were likely much higher than I anticipated back then. Still, this post really did portray how I felt before a possibly life-changing surgery.
Once again, thanks for taking the time to read this really, really, old post. I hope you enjoyed my story.
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A very good friend of mine has this. She went through surgery to remove some of the very painful ones around her spine I think.
She made a 100% recovery, and she was 27 years old and a smoker/drinker.
You got this.
Edit (to add): I am saying she **was** 27 years old because this happened then. She **is** now 32.
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From this whole situation, it feels like you woke up as a child from screams, you run out and you understand that your drunk mother has gone crazy and went to fight with the neighbors. You stand and look at it, you feel, shame, fear and you are afraid to say something, because she will kick you at home
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I'm sure it can't be easy being a peace-loving Russian citizen with a conscience today.
For what it's worth, I don't blame you.
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Title
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Corporate: Pay grocery workers $2 more per hour? That's crazy talk!
Meanwhile...
Corporate: We present our latest advertising blitz campaign - thank you commercials to our staff! It'll only cost about $50 million in ads, that's practically free!
EDIT: Came back to see this exploded. Am not going to address each response one by one but just generally have some observations from the comments I've gotten...
1. I'd readily admit I plucked the ad numbers from thin air since I am not a "corporate guy" who "controls the marketing budget". I used the recently reported ad numbers.. being from Bloomberg (over $500million!!!), divided that by a factor of 10 since we're not going to flood people like Bloomberg did, and considered the fact that ads might have gone up in price (given that we probably have the largest captive audience in history) and arrived at the completely arbitrary number of $50 million.
2. Naturally, there are some people who think that there's nothing wrong with that as long as financially it makes sense and to these people I implore you to consider that we like in extraordinary times, where we have a chance to fundamentally rethink of how corporations should be run (less "make money at all costs" and more "a win-win situation from employee to employer) and to consider the viability of ethically driven companies where everyone is paid a living wage to not just survive, but thrive.
3. To the one person who argue that consumers should be held accountable for their own behaviour, I completely agree - we can all do better. Wear a mask, make a conscious attempt to touch less things while shopping, observe social distancing when possible. If we all do what we can, we will get through this.
And to those of you who continue to work in the grocery stores to keep everyone fed, thank you.
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It's honestly the most exciting thrill that I often daydream about and look forward to. I wake up pretty thirsty and bloated though, lol.
UPDATE: I'm going to pull this off again sometime in the next couple days. I'll try to document it with some pictures of all the glory!!!!
[UPDATE 2 with pics!!!](https://imgur.com/a/XWDRRam)
I ordered a large pizza tonight instead of a medium because of a coupon, but I went with the thin crust. I like regular crust wayyy better!!! After I polished off the 8 hot wings, I had to tap out after 4.5 pizzas..I was just too full. Anyways, thanks for all the love :)
Probably won't be doing many more of these, but, glad some of you enjoyed partaking in my secret plate night indulgences.
Love yourself. Choose to be happy. Even if it means not sharing with your wife :)
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If this is the only cheating you ever do, I will never tell.
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#Edit: To all the profile-lurkers, my husband is no longer a moderator, and has a (real) job now FYI
my husband refuses to look for a job even though I think it would be good for him (And we could use the additional income), but he just says he’s, “got too much on his plate already”.
That being monitoring these stupid subreddits. And Everytime I bring it up he claims what he’s doing is unpaid labor similar to that of a homemaker. But he doesn’t clean or cook or do any of that the way he used to. He just monitors his stupid subreddits. I don’t know what to do.
Sometimes I want to leave him because I believe I may not be able to reach him.
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Moderators work for free. Lmao. You moderate for a website that is worth billions and you do it for free.
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I'm sitting here with my wife, waiting for full scale war to begin. We have no means to leave country and no where to go when shit hits the fan. And from this perspective every previous problems in my life now feel so... meaningless, it's 2022 in Europe, but here it's 31st of August 1939 here in Ukraine.
I'm not scared even anymore, I'm just tired of this waiting.
God help our soldiers, and curse those fashists.
Edit: 1) I do think of either fleeing with my wife and son (yes I didn't note that i have a pre school kid) or taking them to safety , but kid greatly reduces mobility, and my wife still don't want to flee right now (she believes in our army)
2) Thanks for rewards, and support, but i honestly, Reddit carma is on the bottom list of stuff i care.
3) it's 2:31 am here, and i have to try to catch some sleep.
4) i never thought, but warm words kinda helped me, thank you all, you are the best.
5) Слава Україні! Я вірю в хлопців на фронті.
Edit. Its 6:26. We are packed. Kid is sleeping. On early morning, we woke from 2 explosions. War has started.
We are preparing to evacuate. We are being striken by missiles.
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I do not say this lightly, but Romania said they would accept up to 500k refugees. I would recommend trying to get there as quickly as possible.
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Throwaway because I don't want my followers to see this. I'm just so confused right now and need to talk to somebody.
I've been seeing this guy "Adam, 32" for 2 years. He's from another town but visits me on weekends. I never met his family, friends or been to his town. I know that he works at the church and he takes pride in that.
3 weeks ago, I found out that he's actually married and has 2 kids, I was devastated and in a state of disbeleif but most of all, I was mad, especially after I confirmed this via his wife's social media account. We're still talking and I haven't broke up with him yet...I planned and decided to show myself to his family on Sunday at his church and let them know that he used me and took advantage, I plan on ending it right there and then. I'm currently in his town staying at a hotel, I'm doing this tomorrow and no one knows except myself, He's still texting me lies thinking that I'm stupid or ignorant. I feel terrible but something's pushing me to do this. Don't know if it's anger or feeling bad for his wife and kids..I just...I'm not gonna lie I'm worried this might back fire at me but at this point I have nothing to lose, I just feel like I need to get my respect and dignity back after being lied to and fooled for 2 years.
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As scummy as that is, it is pretty remarkable that he got a way with it for so long. I can’t even take a shit without my wife and kids hunting me down
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I have been with him for 3 years now. We planned on getting married when our lives settle down. I wanted to start a family with him, I loved him more than anyone else in this world. I've sacrificed so much for him, moved away from my home, turned down jobs so I could stay with him, and stood by his side as he started to go back to school. I gave him my world.
And he cheats on me.
I found out over a month ago. The scumbag got cocky, and I found out he was cheating on me, with 2 different women. One is a TA at his university, the other his best friend's girlfriend. I am livid. I write this post choking back venom. I loved him so much. He was my world, but now he will be the world I burn to nothing but ash.
I pay for everything since he quit his job last year to go to school. I was more than happy to help him, I make enough to support us both. The only upside is the student loans are in his name with no connection to me. It will hurt to push the scumbag out to sea, but I will survive.
I have held out for a month, enough time to create what I call "The day his world burns" Tomorrow we are hosting a party. I arranged for his family to come, but my family will sadly not be able to make it. I have packed everything valuable already, and the suitcase is in the back of my car. My brother will come during the event tomorrow, to take the car that is in my name that the dirtbag drives to my parent's house. The joint account, which is all my money anyway, is already empty.
The event will be great, and he thinks it's for us to announce our engagement to his family. What will happen in reality is I will announce my departure from his life. I have already taken a job out of state, and have lined up a new place to live. I will start by telling everyone what he is into. The screenshots of him asking his friend's girlfriend to piss on him, and the many other fantasies his degenerate mind came up with will be passed around. I will hand him the notice to vacate, as I have already broken our lease. We need to be out by the end of the month. I will then end off by informing him I have already reported he was sleeping with the TA for one of his classes the previous semester to the university and that I am sad I won't see the fallout from that. His friend also has a message for him that I will deliver, informing him that his friend group never wants to see him again as well.
And with that, I will leave. I will not look back. I will set his life on fire and walk away.
​
edit:
2 hours, and over 5k upvoted. I should have expected my story and plan to get popular. I will update once all is said and done.
​
Update:
I have made an update. Go find it.
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By popular demand: update!
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It's hard to describe. I'm from Ukraine, Dnipro, about 200 km from the warzone that's already there for eight years, and we all here kind of used to the Russian baked shit that happening in the east. However, now everything seems different. I'm genuinely sure that they'll try to cut the whole country in half.
This situation hits something deep inside, I lost all my friends, all I have is my wonderful sister and grumpy mother. I've never been in an actual fight, I'm just a random copywriter who just lives his life, smokes weed, plays bass, doing dojo and trying to find his second half. Next week I'm going to join the army and soon I'll be dead or become a murderer in order to protect my wonderful sister and my grumpy mother for no reason. Or maybe not.
EDIT: sigh, here we go. They're here, 3 hours driving from our house. I mean actual house.
EDIT 2: (2\23\2022)
- No I'm not in the army, I decided to join volunteer paramedic courses. Thousands of people here helped me to switch toward this direction as well. Thank you all for such warm words. It's hard to keep your head cold these days nomsayin.
- My family shows no will to move from our town so am I.
- On Feb 22 Russian troops invaded Ukraine from the eastern front. After that we have a lot of reports about pinpoint artillery skirmishes from their side, however, I don´t trust anything I see on the web. Hybrid war is based on misinformation so I have to take this into account.
- On Feb 23 Ukrainian government's planning to legalize firearms and declare a state of emergency. The most hilarious part is that we are still on a visa-free regime with Russia. There's no military response or clashes from the Ukrainian side so far.
Is it possible to keep you guys in touch via this thread with editing? Or should I simply make new posts? Or a sub? I've never done such threads before. For those who think that I'm a bot: I will not show any personal credentials to strangers, I'm not 5 years old.
EDIT Feb 24 Kyiv Odessa Dnipro Kharkiv are under attack, we put down two Russians aircrafts, it's 8 am.
ESIT Feb 24 1121AM we put down 4 tanks and 6 aircraft, Russians pushing tanks from south and east, actual combat begins.
EDIT Feb 24 1324PM some say Kherson's fallen, 300k citizens large. Dnipro's quiet, Kyiv is under pressure, Odessa is under pressure.
EDIT Feb 25 1109AM I'm with a volunteer HQ right now, donated blood already, filling supplies, driving people around.
Speaking of the war: they're focusing on Kyiv heavily, bombing civilian buildings, few hospitals were also destroyed, these fucking apes also took Chernobyl's atomic station last night, so we may see the actual apocalypse which I guess may also touch Europe heavily. Guys from EU, I'd recommend you to fresh your memory in terms of radiation civilian protection instructions. Russia broke so many humanistic laws it's indescribable. On the south, we have heavy clashes for ~16 hours at this point. Kharkiv stands still, Dnipro (my town) extremely mobilized and rushed into hot areas.
EDIT Feb 28 I'm volunteering 24/7, constantly rushing between shelters and buying medicine for wounded. Thank God for cryptocurrency. Depression and sleep deprivation. Will go on trenches tomorrow. I'm on territorial defense waiting list, enormous number of volunteers. Russians bombing citizens, 15 dead children so far. Today each Ukrainian is brother and sister. A lot of traitors in high command, special forces working on them [pretty rough](https://twitter.com/IsraelThreads/status/1498359401140396032?s=20&t=L_5GXvIPUWGPY2Xe_tOnQQ) . I have no energy, 2 days without sleep on crossfit regime. Fuck war. They switched towards airstrikes and artillery today, mainly citizens. Because we're fucking grinding them on land clashes.
EDIT March 06 I was preparing for the war. But how can one be prepared for genocide and nuclear terror? Thousands of civilians are slaughtered like livestock. I'm focusing on wounded in local hospital. Can you imagine the ambient sound of Bosch's triptych? This is life right now. It's fucking hell. Thank you all. If nuking Ukraine means saved people from Europe and the US, guess it's a fair price. The west will not join the war, it's clear by now. We are alone here.
EDIT March 23 Things are sort of getting stabilized. We're slowly surrounding and boiling them in Kyiv upskirts, Mariupol is a tragedy, can't say but civilian casualties may be up to 10k+ there. Google Mizintsev, this sick fuck is responsible for civil bombardment orders. As well as raping, looting, kidnapping, deporting civilians from Mariupol to fucking gulags. My town is under daily bombardments for 6 days, they're launching rockets from Crimea and Kaspian sea. Yesterday they dropped something big, as the report says 2 Urals size combined, that was loud. I left territorial defense forces, because we're basically protecting guys who protect a tree. Waste of time money and resources. No trainings, mainly because it's too many of us wasting time. Now I'm personally focused on vests and helmet manufacturing. It's not possible to get this stuff from Europe (in Ukraine we're out of stock since day 2), so we said fuck it, we'll make our own. So we get 150 tons of armored steel, already made 1000 good vests with dampers and plate carriers nomsaying. A good friend of mine, he's drummer, we've played together for years. He lost his mother, 7yo sister lost her arm and leg, father in coma. That was phosphorus bomb, shelter didn't helped.
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Thank you for sharing this first person perspective. Love to you and your grumpy Mom.
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$600? Is this supposed to be a fucking joke? Our government refuses to send financial help for months, and then when they do, they only give us $600? The average person who was protected from getting evicted is in debt by $5,000 and is about to lose their protection, and the government is going to give them *$600.?* There are people lining up at 4 am and standing in the freezing cold for almost 12 hours 3-4 times a week to get BASIC NECESSITIES from food pantries so they can feed their children, and they get *$600?* There are people who used to have good paying jobs who are living on the streets right now. There are single mothers *starving themselves* just to give their kids something to eat. There are people who’ve lost their primary bread winner because of COVID, and *they’re all getting $600??*
Christ, what the hell has our country come to? The government can invest billions into *weaponizing space* but can only give us all $600 to survive a global pandemic that’s caused record job loss.
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What I love is that they deferred the 6.2% social security (at least for federal employees) and now they’re gonna resume it again BUT WAIT! There’s more! They’re gonna double it for the next several weeks to compensate for the weeks that they deferred it!
Wow THANKS! Bc the pandemic is definitely over! :-)
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Prices for burgers getting too damn high!!
That is all. Thank you
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What do you expect when five guys are making your burger? Next time go to ONE GUY and you'll pay a 5th of the price!
EDIT: WHOA! I didn't expect this response! Thank you everyone!
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Everyone likes to talk shit on Jeff Bazos and Mark Zuckerberg for being shitty CEOs who only care about their stock value, yet Elon Musk and Tesla are somehow different? Everyone who believes this is being fooled by his marketing of himself. He’s not “one of us who made it” he’s another billionaire who doesn’t give a fuck about you or your family.
This shits really annoying on reddit too, “eLoN mUsK is BeTtInG 100 MillIon To LoWeR cArBon EmmIsons.”, yet he hasn’t given his employees a 401(k) option in three years but now suddenly has 1 billion dollars to invest in bitcoin? “but eLON mUsK SmOked A JoInt On Joe RoGan!!!”. Cool now tell me why that’s important when Tesla is trying to remove your right to repair on your car. Or what about that time he said a stimulus check is not in the “best interest” of the people. Like if he ever had to scrape by enough money to barely afford food.
Another note, when reddit does call out Elon Musk on something shitty he did, they don’t call him out, they call out his company and never him directly.
edit: for people defending Tesla about giving employees stock options instead of a 401(k), please read this comment https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/lfz0io/elon_musk_is_not_a_humble_billionaire_on_our_side/gmpslkr/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3
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Musk stans are some of the most annoying people out there. No matter what he does, they follow him blindly and make it out as he's the greatest human being to ever walk on earth. Same goes for some Tesla owners. No matter what you're talking about, they somehow always find a way to make the conversation about their vehicle
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This may be my last post ever, I'm so nervous, so I'll be quick. You may have seen my previous post in this sub, it's got like 14k upvotes for now. The situation is getting so fucking worse, I don't know what to do. I am very scared, my family and friends are in danger. Russian army is going towards Kyiv, Sumy and Kherson are already occupied. SHIT I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY, ME AND MY FAMILY ARE JUST PACKING OUR THINGS UP, WE HEAR PLANES FLYING ABOVE ALMOST EVERY MINUTE. Many of you asked me to keep you in touch, but I'm not gonna be able to see your comments most likely.
This may be my last ever post on Reddit, so wish me luck, I think I'm gonna need it. Russians are on their way here and I am so frightened. Thanks to the people who were giving me the advices about how to behave and what things to pack, without you my family would've been left without almost any kind of useful supply. Goodbye to you all, stay safe, pray for Ukraine.
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This was just posted on another thread about what’s going on.
Credit to u/skrooogee for originally posting it
Dear Ukrainians!
I heard on social media that there is fake news being spread (most likely by Russia backed trolls) that polish border is closed.
It's a lie.
If you seek asylum - go towards polish border. We are ready for your arrival. We have reception points ready at the border where you can find shelter, food, medical and legal aid.
Polish government launched a dedicated site to help you: ua.gov.pl
Please share this information if you know anyone seeking help right now.
EDIT: YOU DON'T NEED VISA TO PASS THROUGH POLISH BORDER. ALL YOU NEED IS PASSPORT. VISAS ARE SUSPENDED! YOU DON'T NEED THEM FOR TIME BEING!!!!!!
EDIT2: as a proof that you no longer need visa:
• in Ukrainian https://www.gov.pl/web/udsc/ukraina---ua • in English https://www.gov.pl/web/udsc/ukraina-en
**my edit**
Guys, thanks for the awards and stuff, but please seriously, if you’re using your own money; donate to a cause that could benefit those in Ukraine during this time. I’m not sure of any organizations but if any of you do, lemme know and I’ll link it here.
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As an American I believe that those who brags about the USA being the greatest country in the world are the ones who have never really seen the rest of the world. Don’t get me wrong, I love this country. But I’m tired of patriotic Americans shouting constantly that we are the greatest nation on earth. We are not. I travel extensively for work and I think anyone else who has also seen the world will probably agree - we are quite far from being the greatest. This may be hard for some to swallow, but it’s about time we realized this and started working on making America great again. Even though Trump shouts that line a lot, he’s made America worse and we are now a global joke. Let’s admit that our country needs work instead of being arrogant and proud. Don’t be blinded by patriotism.
EDIT: well this got a lot more attention than I thought it would. Some hateful comments as expected - I apologize if I ruined your morning. Please know that I love this country. And for those asking, where I would rather be, the answer is nowhere! Every time I fly back I’m grateful to call the United States home. The point of this was not start debate about what the greatest country is. But for us Americans to realize that there is a lot wrong here and needs fixing. Americans are the loudest to shout “greatest country in the world!”, but our country is slowing down and others are catching up. It’s time we all realized that in my opinion. Stay safe everyone, and thank you for taking the time to read my post!
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I was watching some t.v. show with my VPN set in America so I got american ads. I just couldn't get over the amount of pharmaceutical drug advertisements there are and the fact that Americans advertise these things!
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I'll probably get downvoted to hell for this, but it's the truth.
I always give my kids updates on how long they have left. Ex: dinner's ready in 30 minutes... 15... 5 minutes.
If you just started a 15 minute match, knowing full well you have to stop in 5, it's your own damn fault. I gave you a deadline, when it's over you shut your game.
Edit: Holy crap, I just woke up and saw this exploded overnight! Thank you for the replies, the awardsand tge multiple death treaths I've received!
Couple of things since I can't answer everyone.
1: I'm a dad, lot of people assumed I was a mom. No worries
2: This is something that has been discussed with my kids beforehand. We've talked about the importance of time management and how this ties into it.
3: Dinner is always around the same time. Bedtime is always around the same time. If dinner is in about 45 minutes and you play a game that can last up to two hours, then you probably should play something else at the moment. (Although my kids don't play most of the long games you mentioned, no smithe or LOL etc. Mostly fortnight and Overwatch)
4: Again... death threats? Some of you guys need to chill...
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This is a big thing I learned growing up that is useful to me as an adult now. If I’m playing rocket league or call of duty I know each match can be 5-10 minutes average. Battle royales, racing games, and rpg’s can last me 30+ minutes. As such my mom always let me know how much time I had before dishes needed to be done, before dinner was ready, before we were leaving for the store, etc etc. This has translated into me being able to tell how many games or rounds I can get in before I need to sleep, eat, or do anything else in adult life.
Parents, set these rules with your kids. They can only learn from it, or ignore it.
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My mom was 11 years old when her older brother's sexual abuse of her got her pregnant. Her parents covered up the abuse, forcing her to lie and say she'd been fooling around with a boy in her class. They hid her away from the public eye and shamed her for being pregnant. She begged to be allowed to abort me, but her parents denied her access to an abortion.
Childbirth left her disabled: to this day she has chronic pain in her hips and walks with a cane. Her parents adopted me and raised me as their own, believing my mother and father were my older siblings. My mother was sent to a boarding school, but on break she was forced to live in the same household as her abuser and the product of that abuse until she left home at 18.
I found out the truth a year ago, when I turned 18. Suddenly a lot of things started to make sense: why my "sister" could barely look at me when I was growing up, why she barely had any contact with the family after she left home, why it always felt like something was off about my family and the way they saw me. I'd always felt like they were embarrassed of me, but I'd never known why.
I am the kind of person pro-lifers claim to protect. While my mom wasn't prevented from abortion by law, the outcome is the same. I, and many other babies, was born to an unwilling and deeply traumatized young mother. I was born a reminder of abuse, a shameful family secret. When an unwanted pregnancy occurs after abuse, this is the outcome many pro-lifers hope for, this is the outcome the Texas heartbeat bill intends to enforce.
I'm one of the lucky ones. I found out at 18, when I had the capacity to process it. My mom sought mental health care in her adulthood and we've developed a positive relationship in the last year. I wasn't raised by a resentful mother, bounced between begrudging family members, or put in foster care. Many children born in similar circumstances grow up abused, openly resented, and traumatized.
My life is fine, and my mom's life is fine despite everything she went through. But if I could go back in time and somehow change her parents' minds, I would do so in a heartbeat. **No one should ever be forced to endure a pregnancy and childbirth against their will, especially a victim of abuse, and especially a child. No one should have the right to violate another person's body like that. Yes, I am grateful for the life I have, but quite frankly I should never have been born.**
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So few people would bring their experiences forward from this perspective. Thank you for your vulnerability, and know that I'm deeply moved by your story.
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I'm a part-time student working full time at a grocery store to put myself through school. Everyday, I see all these posts on Reddit joking about how bored everyone is going to be holed up in their house for a month. How I wish I had that luxury. Instead, I get to work in the industry that won't shut down even if the whole country is quarantined, breaking my back to fill products that people are mindlessly hoarding, all while putting myself at high risk of contracting whatever people bring through the doors. Yesterday, we were handed letters telling us that we are required to stay home without sick pay if we show any signs of being sick. How ironic is that? Forced to stay home FROM WORK from an illness I will inevitably contract FROM WORK, with no incentive of sick pay, no way to pay rent, and likely no job to come back to after weeks of being quarantined. No one treats us as human; not the customers, not our employers. I'm tired to listening to people tell me that my life and safety is worth less than someone else's, that I am obligated to become homeless when I catch the coronavirus by doing my job for minimum wage and allowing people not to starve.
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I agree this is an issue that will hopefully get addressed. People in essential jobs - and I would include groceries in that - that have to stay open need to be able to stay home if they get sick. If sick pay isn't available then many will go to work just to be able to pay their own bills, and that will lead to many more people who use these essential services getting ill.
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My husband is a great guy, puts his family first.
He has only loved two women in his life, her and me.
I know he loves me, we’ve been married for over twenty years, has never strayed.
His ex is dying…
She has days left.
She asked to see him as they were each other’s ‘first loves’.
He went to see her, talked about the 80s, held her hand, hugged her and told her that he always loved her.
And, I’m ok with that.
And, I’m OK with that!
Edit - I’m quite friendly with her daughter, it was her who reached out to me.
Her husband is a great guy, he shook my husbands hand.
They talked about the ‘80s, laughed a lot….
Edit 2. - Please stop giving me awards, he is the hero.
He made soup last night, lentil and tomato, and a veggie curry. We’re going to drop some off later.
And, yes! I stand by my post history the way I stand by my husband!
Update.
She is at peace now. He’s devastated but taking comfort that she isn’t suffering anymore.
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You could’ve robbed someone of their last opportunity to experience a bit of joy before they passed, bless your heart.
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I'm a 22 year old female. I'm introverted, I had one boyfriend who cheated on me 8 months ago and since then found it incredibly difficult to socialize. Not that many people made an effort. I'm simple, I dont have social media, I have a few friends but they don't really speak to me much. I'm average looking. Pretty insecure since my breakup. Im in college and on weekends work a 12 hour shift at a fast food restaurant to make ends meet.
I dont know I felt really lonely, so I knew of a guy who works with me who told me his friend is doing sex work. I found him on Facebook and he told me how much he charged. Also asked me a bunch of questions about my sexual health. I never planned on sleeping with him I just didn't want him to find me weird.
Anyway we met at a hotel, I told him I didn't want to have sex I just wanted to be held and given words of affirmation and care. He agreed and I paid him. I gave him flashcards. They all said things like im proud of you, you're doing so well, you're strong, did you eat, are you okay, I know you can do it, etc etc. And he just held me until our hours was up and then I bolted and I feel so ashamed and had to tell someone. But I don't speak to anyone so here I am.
Edit: thank you all for the kindest words and making me feel better and less ashamed. Yes thats me immediately upvoting. I'm not good with words, so please know I appreciate it more than you know. Thank you so so much.
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Why be embarrassed? There are professional cuddle buddies for a reason.
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Elon Musk is not the founder of PayPal. He is not the founder of Tesla either. Hyperloop is a stupid idea. None of his "ideas" are revolutionary. His entire aesthetic is fake futurism with no substance. His plans of colonizing Mars are overstated at best, and fraudulent at worst. He is not "self-made". From Palcohol to Neuralink to Starship, he has no grasp of basic science. Not to mention how inflated the stock prices of Tesla are. Every person interested in science has been enamored by Musk at one point, but we can't be fooled any longer. I wish his fanboys would stop and do some research.
Edit: I don't care about defenders of capital in the replies
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dude, this goes for many famous businessmen.
Steve Jobs was also really good at marketing other people's ideas.
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Last night I ordered a pizza as my boyfriend was out of town and I was feeling lazy. Older gentleman delivered the pizza and started saying things like "are you wearing anything under your clothes?" "Do you live alone? Is anyone in your apartment?" "I like you, youre very sexy.". Right at the end he tried to hug me and kissed me on the forehead. I was wildly uncomfortable and I kept waking up to car sounds in the parking lot, checking that it wasn't him. I slept with a bat. I do not like to rock the boat. I'm very nonconfrontational. But I reported him to DoorDash. They just called and told me they are so sorry, there is a zero tolerance policy on that sort of behavior, and they have deactivated his account.
I'm glad I reported him. He might have done something worse in the future to another woman. But I feel like trash that I got a guy fired. Weird dissonance in my head right now.
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You did the right thing
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People, dear people.
This is my first post on Reddit and I pray to not be the last one. Just now I have read news about the potential invasion to the territory of Ukraine today in the night. I\`m (f 25) panicking here. People... I just want to live in peace in Ukraine. I\`m proud of being Ukrainian. Here is my motherland and doesnt matter which places I visit around the world I love Ukraine with all my heart and soul. I love Ukrainian people.I want to live in Ukraine, I want to give birth to children in Ukraine. I want to speak Ukrainian language. I have no hate to Russian people and Russian language or any other natonalities or other languages. I watch how Russia bites huge pieces from my country and destroy all Ukrainian what exist there. I\`m so much afraid this will happen with all Ukraine. I\`m afraid to lose my nationality. Believe me or not, the worst what can happen to Ukraine is to be Russian.Why tf they destroy lives of usual Ukrainain people? Russian president pretends to be a God so he can decide the destiny of the whole nation.
I\`m so much f\*cking afraid right now.
What to do, people? I\`m crying at loud here because I actually have no choice. I don\`t know what to do. I\`m desperate. I don\`t want to run away from Ukraine and watch how Ukraine suffers. I don\`t want war but it seems Russia has already decided.I just want to survive this war.I want my family will survive. We will fight till we die here for our nation.
But... but if Ukraine lose this war. This is not guilt of Ukrainian people. This is the collapse of worlds democracy.
People, never ever trust to Russian government. Never ever trust to Russian news. Live in peace, never make war.
P.S. If Russian government would occupy Ukraine and would ever say that we wanted to be Russians, you should know that nobody asked and we have never wanted.
P.P.S. Apology for all the mistakes.
Edit: I really try my best to answer to everybody, thank you for all of your support, people... Personally me greatly thankful and every your message is greatly appreciated by me... and be sure every Ukrainian who reads it
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Reading testimonials like yours make me more nervous about all of this situation. I am very very far from Ukraine, but it just feels so wrong what is happening there. It just gets me miserable to think the suffering you and your people are likely to pass through. Hope nothing happens, sincerely.
Op, can I do something for you?
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I cant browse any Subreddit ever without being bombarded with US politics. Obviously exaggerating but i wouldnt care much if the entire continent sank into the ocean, and i certainly dont care if some very questionable individual that noone outside of the US ever heard of said even more questionable stuff on Twitter for the 100th time. Tucker Carlson, Bill Burr, Mitch Mcconnel and whatnot, i hate the fact that i even know these names because i have been spammed into oblivion by this website with this spam.
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US politics is kind of like a new form of trash TV.
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I'm a personal chef for a upper class family in the US with a multi-million dollar house who go on many vacations every year. They claim they miss authentic European and Asian food after living abroad for several years.
When I first started cooking for them, I made elaborate dishes that took hours to make, finding the exact ingredients, examining each piece of carrot, potato, or chicken by hand. Finding the right brands and going to multiple grocery stores to find the exact pinot noir to make the perfect red wine sauce.
They didn't like it.
I once messed up a dish and had to remake it really quickly, so I took a few shortcuts to make sure it was still tasty. A normally 12 hour dish, I made a quick version of in less than 30 minutes using vinegar instead of red wine.
They said it was the tastiest thing they ever ate. It reminded them of the times they were travelling through some European mountains.
Since then, I've realized I don't need to spend hours making all the food perfectly "authentic". I stopped using expensive brands of wine (sometimes I don't even use wine at all. Grape juice or vinegar or even sugar seems to taste just as good, if not better to them). I've saved tens of thousands of dollars and probably thousands of hours getting cheaper ingredients that have already been brined or marinated, and they absolutely love it.
They even had me prepare larger meals for parties or events, and they'd claim it was authentic French or Italian food. They'd ask me what combination of flour I used to make the pasta that was so clearly hand made (it was 99 cent boxed pasta from walmart). Or it was clear I used a very particular Pinot Noir for a coq au vin for which I actually just added a little fruit juice with some vodka. Or that the saffron really made a difference in my risotto when I really just used turmeric. Or how the food tastes so much better when sauces are freshly made with raw ingredients when it's really mayonnaise plus ketchup or some other dumb combination of common condiments.
I just smile and nod. A part of me feels guilty, but not guilty enough to go back to making the more authentic versions that they'd just complain about that costs me way more time and money anyways. I'm more just worried that one day they'll find out, but I've gotten away with it for almost eight years now
Edit because so many people have asked: This was my first job as a personal chef and it was a a side gig. When I took the job, I didn't know how much to charge. They asked what would be the price per meal for their family of four, including getting groceries, planning, prepping, cooking, plating, cleaning, etc. So everything, including groceries would be included in what they pay me. So the groceries are a business expense. They don't reimburse me for it. It's part of my total fee. Tbh that fee was vastly under charging for my time and the amount of work I put in initially, as well as the quality of ingredients. Rookie mistake as a rookie cook I guess.
Also, I don't regularly serve boxed pasta lol. It's just one of the examples off the top of my head
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The thing is , maybe you ARE really making authentic food.
Because maybe this is exactly what the chefs were doing at those "authentic" restaurants for the same reason as you - to save money and time.
And now the food tastes exactly the same to them - because it is.
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As the title states; my (M29) girlfriend (F29) passed away 12 hours after giving birth.
A blood clot had formed in her leg during pregnancy, after she had a C Section she was taken onto the ward to recover. She got up to go for a shower a few hours later and the clot travelled to her lungs.
I'm in a bad place right now, I've cried everyday and there are no words to describe my emotions. The feeling of loss is indescribable, not just for me but for our son and for my partners mum and her family as well. The emotional contrast that occurred between that 12 hour period has shaken me in ways that I can't describe.
That day went from the best day of my life, our beautiful son being born with the woman I love, to the worst day of my life and all the future we had planned and prepared and talked about for so long being ripped away in some cruel, horrible and unfair turn of fate.
I honestly don't know exactly why I've decided to share this experience on Reddit, I don't know if it will help, I don't know.
Edit: I just wanted to say a massive thank you to every single person who has replied on this thread or DM'd me, I will try and respond to everybody as you have all wrote to me. I appreciate your advice, I receive your condolences with respect, your love and humanity have all been felt in my heart.
I felt alone in grief and I realise I am not, there are so many who have had heartbreaking situations; there's no comparison of one persons grief to another I don't think they can be compared.
I do think that talking and sharing the emotional burden is the only way to survive. Not just myself but for anyone affected by tragedy/emotional trauma etc.
From the bottom of my heart thank you for allowing me to share my burden with you all, you're all amazing people.
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Whenever it’s too much, just come here and start typing bro... we are all here to bare witness to the nightmare you’re living. We will listen. We will reply. We will support where we can... that is what social media was invented for. So say we all. ❤️
Edit: wow, I’ve never received an award before. I’m a little embarrassed as I thought that only OP would bother to read - I think I just typed what everyone was thinking. These award belong to us all.
just trying to highlight some info in my replies.
someone mentioned r/griefsupport in a reply. They said it’s a really supportive community and you should reach out there too.
Also, there’s a guy a few replies down who has been through similar and is offering some ❤️ and asked that you reach out if you need someone to talk to.
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EDIT: Well, this blew up. Thanks for the support, everyone. Appreciate ya. I’m moving on and it felt good to get it all out here. Be good to each other. <3
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We were married for 15 years. Our marriage was wonderful. She always had problems with mental health but I loved her so much that I was willing to help her with those problems forever. She gave me two beautiful children who I continue to cherish.
18 months ago she wanted to try polyamory and started a relationship with a guy she met online with my enthusiastic support. Three months ago that relationship ended. Three months ago she met another man who she fell in love with. They made plans for him to fly out here and for them to spend a weekend alone in a hotel.
It did not take me long to realize that polyamory wasn’t for me. I had assumed that it would’ve been a group thing but what she wanted was a private relationship with him. I tried my hardest to be OK with it but I could never get around the idea. I put myself through a lot of pain trying to make it happen and I couldn’t.
I told her that I couldn’t do it, crying as hard as I’ve ever cried before, and rather than being comforting for me, she went dead. All she could think about was herself. All she could think about was having to end her relationship with him.
Less than a month later she left me. She said she’s been unhappy for two years. But it seems awfully auspicious that she would say nothing for two years, only to say something once she was unable to have some other guy come over and fuck her.
She didn’t have a job, I supported her and our family. I gave her 15 years of my life, abandoning any dream I might have so that I could work a job that would provide us a stable income. I gave her everything she ever wanted, entertained every hobby, and encouraged every dream she ever had. I was good to her. I was good to our children. I continue to be a fantastic father. But none of that seems to matter to her. All this seems to matter to her is that she get what she wants, no matter the cost, no matter the toll it takes on the people who love her.
I’m seeing other people now, I’ve cleaned up my house, and I’m moving on with my life. Still, however, I find myself incredibly bitter some mornings. I was wronged. She was selfish. And now my family has been cut in half because of it.
The most annoying part of all of this is that she’ll never realize what she really did. She’ll never realize how badly she treated me. She’ll never realize how selfish she’s been.
Polyamory is a fucking joke and it destroyed my relationship with the woman I loved more than anyone else in my entire life. Last night she said she was going to come by and help me put up the Christmas tree with the kids. She stayed at her Airbnb, which her boyfriend is paying for. What a waste of fucking time.
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I can’t even fathom how emotionally drained you are from all this … I’m sorry. I know this all hurts so much.
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It's insulting
Edit: okay I probably shouldn't make a post and then go right to sleep. So here's the deal, yes I understand the textbook definition of the classes has a lot more than 3, there's actually 9 classes lower-lower, lower-middle, lower-upper, middle-lower and so on. I'm also fully aware I'm a long impossible way from middle-middle-class. That's not really my point. The point however is that the media only portrays us as having 3 classes and does everything it can to make it appear we "the working class" as many have called it, is anywhere remotely close to the upper 3 classes.
For those of you that think because I have a job I'm just as far from knowing what it's like to be poor as I am in knowing what it's like to be rich you know nothing. I've been on welfare, I've tasted the hell that is powered milk, I've been without a paycheck. I know what it's like to heat your house with your fucking electric stove because your gas got turned off because you couldn't afford to pay the bill. What I don't know is what it feels like to do whatever the heck I want whenever the heck I want without a care in the world, to order a meal without looking at the price on the menu, to sue somebody just for the thrill of it, to go to the hospital without worrying about how much it's going to cost me when the bill comes in.
I agree what a few of you has said that we're basically the buffer between the classes, given enough to care about that we're willing to fight to keep it, even if it means having to defend the 0.1% from the poor.
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I believe we're called "working class." Middle class is very vague. Doctors are middle class, so are lawyers, and engineers. Don't pay attention to middle class rhetoric. Pay attention to working class policies.
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One night, when I (36f) was about 8 or 9 years old, (mid 90’s), my father took my little brother and I to Blockbuster to pick out movies. We left there and my dad stopped at a corner store for some snacks and he parked on the side of the building. He left me and my brother in the car while he ran in. On his way out, a man came up behind him and held something to his side. My dad, pretended he was going to hand the man his wallet, but he instead elbowed the man in his face and he fell to the ground. The guy got up and came at my dad with a knife and my dad fought it away from him and stabbed him with it. It was long and that shit went all the way in. The guy let out this horrible groan. I can still hear it. He left the guy on the floor writhing, hopped in the car and took off.
For so many years I thought this was a dream until my little brother mentioned it to me when asking if I remembered. We’ve NEVER brought this up to my father, ever. I’ve always wondered what happened to that guy, but this was way before cell phones and stuff so who knows. It’s crazy the weight that comes off of someone when they say things they’ve always been holding in.
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Your other option was possibly watching your own father get killed in front of your eyes. So as far as outcomes go, I would objectively say you got the better of the two options.
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Before I begin you should know that I love my child unconditionally. He is so smart in his own way, and has a generous heart. I know this.
But I also, sometimes... okay, a lot of the time, hate that this is my life.
I hate the looks we get. When someone asks him a question then awkwardly realizes he can't respond. When he has a major, hysterical meltdown in a store and I have to sing and rock him on the floor until he calms down. When other kids realize he isn't as "normal" as he looks...
I hate that he will probably never have a real friend. That I will have to fight for him to be included in everything. That his birthday parties will likely be adults/family only.
I hate not being able to go to church without making sure they have an adult with training to be with him. I hate how hard it is to find adults to be with him. And that I have to be the one to train them.
I hate that he will be my only child. I don't know that I can handle a second child with disabilities... and it's not fair to him if we bring a neurotypical child into the mix. It's not fair to the other child either.
I hate that he has to be watched 24/7. I never get anything done because I am exhausted from keeping him safe while trying to give him room to grow and learn.
I hate the appointments, the juggling of specialists and primary care doctors and trying to remember who needs to be told what. I hate having to sign a kajillion disclosures to share information, and I hate that even my husband has to ask me what all kiddo has going on.
I hate that he hurts me. Yes, I understand the reasons: trauma and development and delayed attachment and frustration. But I hate that my baby boy, my darling child, regularly kicks and hits and bites and scratches me.
I hate saying, "Kind hands, please."
I hate how much I rely on his tablet to occupy him.
I hate when people say it's just a phase. Or all boys/kids do that. It's not true, and they know it. But no one is comfortable enough to say, "that sounds like it sucks." Which is what I really want.
I hate that being away from him takes so much planning and money. That we can't hire just anyone to watch him. It has to be an adult with training, or a respite provider (which is impossible to get), or a rare, understanding friend. Or my husband.
Most of all, I hate that I hate any part of being his mommy. Because I always wanted to be a mom. And when we found out we couldn't have biological children, I was so happy my husband agreed to adopt. I knew it would be hard. I knew it meant raising a child with disabilities and trauma. And I worked my ass off to prepare for it.
But here I am. On Reddit, telling however many strangers that I hate being a mom to a child with disabilities. Because there is nowhere else I can go and be this raw and open about it.
And I hate that our society is the kind of place where parents like me can't be raw and open. Because I already know some of you are judging me, or calling me a snowflake, or passing by this post because this sliver of my reality is too much for you to bear on top of your own stuff.
But I had to say it. Had to let it out because it's too hard to carry around on top of all the other shit I have to carry every single day.
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I have a niece with two autistic children. The older is farther along the spectrum than the younger. There came a point when she and her husband could not handle him anymore. Exhausted he was physically stronger than they were. She was heartbroken and guilty to put him in a group home. It turns out he is quite content there. He has fewer meltdowns than he did at home. When he comes home on weekends he keeps asking when he can go back. BTW, her educational expertise is actually autism so it’s not that she didn’t know the techniques to manage this. But for whatever reason, he prefers the group home.
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I’m 15 and British
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Understandable, have a good day
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Man even an automated email would be better. How do they expect us to show loyalty if we're literally just bits of machinery to them
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Leave an "interview review" for them on Glassdoor and be specific.
Also, everyone should read this: https://lifehacker.com/how-to-identify-and-report-an-illegal-job-posting-1833295818
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My boyfriend has just started streaming and he seems pretty excited about it. He didn’t buy a whole set up yet but live streams whenever he is on. I streamed briefly and know how hard it is to get viewers. I open multiple private browsers on my personal laptop, work laptop and phone - this way I can have his stream going and it counts as multiple viewers. When he saw 4, he was stoked. It’s only 4 viewers but he was so happy. There’s very little in this world right now that can cause that genuine happiness and expression. I sit on the other side of the couch with the volume down on all devices and just pretend I’m doing school work.
EDIT: wow! I appreciate the kind comments. I haven’t shared his link because the purpose of this post was to get something off my chest and not “farm subs”. I believe he is capable of it on his own, it’s just to keep him motivated and I have already shared with friends/family. I also don’t want him to find out. He plays Warzone/vanguard, perhaps you’ll come across his stream in the future. He streams on twitch. I give him 4 viewers not 1,000.
This is something I’ve literally done for the last 2 weeks, do not tell me I have copied and pasted- I have no reason. Also, thank you for the awards! I’m fairly new to Reddit and I enjoy this community.
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Final words on your deathbed to your boyfriend/future husband.
"I was all four of your live-stream viewers."
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So let me first just say, I’m not the one in the wrong for this but I have to say it somewhere. It’s eating me alive.
2 years ago when I was 19 I met this woman while I was working as a personal trainer. She was in her 40s and looked like a 25 year old. She took an interest in me and invited me out a number of times and we had sex a few times. After one of our meet ups she said it was wrong for someone of her age to be with me because I was to young and changed gyms.
My girlfriend and I have been together for just under a year. She’s amazing and I love her so much. 2 months ago I met her family for the first time and it was a shock. Like she took me to the house where i had hooked up with a woman and I felt like I was being pranked.
Before I see her mom it hits me. I have a type and they both fit that type so it make sense, I’ve been hooking up with a single mom and I’m now with her daughter. Then her mom and dad pop out and we both almost shit ourselves. i meet her parents, they’ve been married for 20 years, I realize I had been a married woman’s boy toy, I feel incredibly ashamed.
Later that week her mom finds my number and tells me that I can never speak of what happened. She says that my girlfriend will hate me forever because I’ll be the one who broke up her parents. So now I’m stuck keeping this secret.
She invited me to spend thanksgiving and with her family and since my family is 1000 miles away and I already told her I don’t plan on going home I don’t really have an excuse to not go. So now I’m going to have to sit there at a table and enjoy thanksgiving dinner with the woman I had an affair with, her husband, and her daughter whom I am now in love with.
I’m fucked.
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They've got a type too.
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(I'm sorry if this seems like a pity party considering what's going on in the world)
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People wished me a happy birthday (the standard "happy birthday text/Facebook wall post, and I'm grateful for that) but no one came to hang with me to just eat (multiple people were invited). I don't expect gifts, I'm too old to throw a fit but it's difficult not to feel the goddamn void of people when I'm just eating alone in my apartment, especially after two days ago we just celebrated another friend's birthday, with a surprise birthday party(we're all vaccinated), gifts and drinking. Its been like this for 3 years now.
Maybe I'm that friend that people just tolerate but don't really like.
The pizza and crepes are good though. I'm grateful for that.
Next year I'm just gonna travel by myself to another country.
Edit: signed back on to having the post blow up.
I’m sad that so many of you know exactly how it feels and I’m sorry you’ve had this happen. Next year let’s all have a better birthday! Thank you all for the birthday wishes.
Edit 2:
I can’t respond to everyone so thank you for all the wishes and empathy and advice. I felt very alone today and you’ve all made me feel better. I appreciate you and wish all of you better birthdays
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I'm sorry man. I felt this way for a long time but I need them more than they need me. Unpopular and stupid thing to do but fuck it.
Just learn to enjoy your own company.
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I work for a fairly large company in the tech industry. I've worked there for about 5 years now and I have a fairly high up role in management. Over the last few weeks, I got roped into helping build a new team within the company and was assigned to do multiple interviews. This was fairly short notice for me, so my job was only to do the interview and give my impressions of the candidate and the results of the interview. The company is also just back to doing in person interviews so the process is even more wonky as of now. When I received the list of candidates for the day, I saw the name of a man we'll call brad. It had been over 15 years since i had last seen him, but I could never forget the face of the man who made my high school years a living hell.
Brad was your typical bully jock, I was an overweight theater kid in ap math and science, and you can see where this is going. Those were the worst years of my life, and brad was one of the contributing causes to that. So to see him in the candidates here was a shock to me.
I didn't believe it at first, but when Brad walked in for the interview I knew that I was face to face with the man who bullied me in high school. At first brad didn't recognized me, but as we sat down he remembered who I was. He tried to play buddy-buddy with me. Pretend we were friends in high school, and I played along. I did the interview, he did, ok. Nothing stand out, but middle of the pact. He made a joke that I would "get him the job, right?" I laughed along and he left.
I finalized the interviews yesterday. I wrote brad a scathing review. Downplayed everything good about him and exaggerated his flaws. Also wrote in that he tried to coerce me into giving him a good review because he "was an acquaintance in high school."
It's been 15 years since I graduated high school. I am an entirely different person than I was then. But for some reason, I was dragged back to those days, and I don't know how to feel.
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My school bully saw me at a reunion, 20 years later. He came over, we chatted with a group of people, he waited for the right moment, then asked semi-privately my forgiveness for what he and couple of others had done. He said, he cannot expect me to accept his appology, that he wished he could undo it, but that he really felt sorry for it.
I accepted.
Felt good.
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My partner polybombed me about 4 months ago and a day later I walk in on them fucking someone else. They didn't even care enough to realise I had left the house until I called them from a mile up the road and then it was all "oh I'm so sorry I hurt you I would never do it deliberately I love you it won't happen again."
Then barely a few weeks later I walk in on them making out with a mutual friend. They were still making out with them when our roommate called an ambulance after I cut myself too deep.
They didn't even care about changing how they approach polyamory until I threatened to leave and then I'm hit with this massive lovebomb of "oh I can change I'll make it up to you I never wanted to hurt you"
They don't fucking care enough to change their behaviour because "poly is so complicated, I'm sorry if you got hurt when I was figuring it out!"
Polyamory is too often used as a bullshit excuse for selfish, immature people to have their cake and eat it and if I never have to hear the stupid term again in my life I'll be happy.
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Leave this person. They’re literally cheating on you.
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I had a brief conversation with my father this past weekend. He wanted to let me know that he is officially retiring. I was happy for him. The old man has been working for the last 50 years nonstop since he was a teenager.
He then said, "Yeah, I will find part-time work to keep me busy. I can finally do something I like doing."
This shook me. 50 years of hard work. Crawled his way up the corporate ladder to a Director-level position making well over six figures. After all that, he is just now doing something he likes doing? It has messed with my head the last few days. I am now questioning why I am working the job I work in corporate America. I don't want to wake up 30 years down the road when I finally retire and say the same thing.
Edit: Wow! I wrote this before bed to literally get it off my chest (pun intended) as my options for venting about are limited. Thank you all for the thoughtful and funny responses! Much love!
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When I was an early teen my dad sat me down and told me "most of your time as a man will be spent doing things you have to do whether you enjoy it or not and sometimes youll be able to do what you want to do. So stfu and enjoy what time you have." He wasnt great with emotions but its helped me cope with the fact that work blows and its really about perspective
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I’ve smoked weed everyday for most of my life. I’ve always believed it to be a safer alternative to drinking alcohol. People say it all the time; nobody has died from smoking too much weed, you can’t get addicted to marijuana. I truly believed these things. But I WAS addicted and I almost didn’t make it to my 30th birthday today because of it.
The fact that I needed to smoke everyday just to feel normal is testament enough. I wasn’t smoking to get high anymore, I was smoking just to start my day. I felt like I couldn’t function without it. I couldn’t function at all and I’m only realizing this now. I wasted 15 years of my life being stoned and depressed on the couch. I had no desire to do anything that made me happy, I had no desire to do anything at all. Because of weed, I settled for mediocrity every day for 15 years. So much of my life, wasted.
Then I got really sick - vomiting and nausea for two weeks. I lost 20 pounds in that time. The doctors told me to stop smoking and I didn’t listen. It can’t be the weed, I thought. It’s harmless. I choked it up to a bad bottle of wine.
A couple months later, it happened again. This time, vomiting for 5 days. Again, I thought it was just a bad hangover and went to the doctor in hopes of getting an IV to restore my fluids. The doctor had one feel of my chest and I was rushed to the ER with Subcutaneous emphysema as a result of cannabis hyperemesis syndrome. Essentially,I had so much thc built up in my tissues from years of use, it was starting to seep into my digestive tract and it was making me sick. The extreme vomiting that resulted caused me to tear my esophagus which meant air was getting into my chest cavity. The doctor said that my X-rays showed so much air in my chest, that another day or two of vomiting could have resulted in my heart exploding. On my nephew’s first birthday, a week before my 30th. To think of what I could have done to my friends and family breaks my heart.
CHS seems to affect some heavy smokers and not others. Doctors don’t seem to know why, but what my doctor did tell me is I was incredibly lucky to have stopped vomiting when I did. He also told me that nowadays, with weed being legal and THC concentrations being so high, MOST of the cases of nausea and vomiting that come into the ER is related to marijuana use.
Weed is NOT a harmless plant. It’s still a drug, and like any drug there are consequences to its use. We need to be more honest about what these dangers are, both physically and mentally, especially with young people. I almost destroyed so many lives because of my habit. I could have ruined my nephews birthday for everyone, forever. I’ve already wasted so many of my best years being stoned.
I’m quitting cold turkey. I’m not touching the stuff again. I’m just sorry it took this long. I’m celebrating my 30th birthday today SOBER and I’ve never been more excited about life.
If you’ve been thinking about quitting, take this as a sign. Don’t let yourself waste away like I did.
EDIT: Jesus fucking Christ. I came here as an addict to admit I have a problem with weed. The problem is MINE and yet so many of you think you can tell me what I’ve been through. I don’t care if you love weed or if it helped you, it didn’t help me. It was ruining my life. I’m glad I got rid of it and I’m happy to share my story. Call me lazy, call me a liar, say I’m looking for attention, It doesn’t matter. I feel better today because I cut weed out of my life. I have no intention of going back. I’m not saying the drug is evil, but what I am saying is we should be HONEST with ourselves and recognize that like any other drug, weed affects everyone differently and people HAVE and WILL CONTINUE To get sick from it. To say otherwise is crazy. CHS is real, people have died. It’s interesting how many people are experts when it comes to marijuana. Listening to a joe Rogan podcast doesn’t make you an expert. If you’re happy being a stoner, be a fucking stoner. In these comments there are enough stories to prove it’s not the miracle drug so many of you are defending it to be. If you’re trying to quit, please DM me. I’ll cheer you on.
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Abusing anything on a daily basis generally isn’t harmless.
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This is so embarrassing so I'm going anonymous, I won't mention names or ages here.
My husband literally peed inside of me last night while we were having an intercourse, It freaked me out and I didn't know how to handle it. it was just so weird and ....I really can't put into words how I felt but I do want to point out that I'm upset because he previously told me about trying to do it and I already said "NO!" but he went ahead and did it. I was completely caught off guard, I did not agree to this weird experience and I definately didn't enjoy it. We had an argument and he said I killed the fun with my reaction but he already knew how I felt about it.
He's still hung up on the fight saying I overreacted for no.good reason at all but I don't know. I found it really unpleasent and just weird.
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next time put your piss in his coffee, if he gets upset just say he killed the mood
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I've always been a $40k/yr guy. No education. We've been married 20 years. 2017, I landed a mediocre job that paid $70/k do to oil industry shit that I'll never understand.
I told her it would be short lived.
2019, we buy a house.
2020, I lose the job. I collect unemployment for a month, then go to work in a warehouse for $15/hr. She gets a job there to at the same wage.
Sweet. Both of us combined make what I used to make. We'll be fine. She says it's fine cause she'll do anything to keep the house.
After a week, she decides she can't handle working 40 hours a week, so she makes this... post.. on Facebook talking down on me for not doing enough for my family after she quits the job.
I wanted to reply, but don't wanna be "that guy" on Facebook, so I blocked her.
I'm ranting right now, cause I'm drunk and thinking of just walking away.
I feel like she's totally in the wrong for being too lazy to work a 40 hour week.
She thinks she does enough at home...
Normally, I would agree, but she doesn't do shit. The house is trashed when I get home. She's usually stoned and drunk and doesn't even know where our 9 year old daughter is.
"She's at the neighbor kids house" is her usual response..
I just wanna leave this bitch but don't know how.
Thanks for listening Reddit.
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I know your drunk now so wait until your sober before you make your decision. She shouldn’t put you down when you support her and your family while she does nothing, especially on social media! It doesn’t sound like she will do anything for the house, it sounds like she will do anything for herself.
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Declawing a cat is equivalant to cutting off your fingers (not medically but cats use claws like we use our fingers.). Why is this even legal? Same with "debarking" dogs. Oh you lazy piece of shit, you can't be bothered to train your dog not to bark? How could a veterinarian even do something like that? You could not pay me enough. Give your cat up for adoption or take it to the pound even if it means it will most likely be euthanized. Declawing a cat is about the most cruel thing you could possibly do to an apex predator like a cat. Debarking a dog is just equally cruel. How would you like it if your parents surgically removed your voice box because you talk too much?
You people make me sick. You all should be charged with animal abuse to the letter of the law. Throw the damn book at you.
Edit: explained what I meant by the finger analogy
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Back when I took my schnauzer to get neutered the vet in charge of the procedure told me he could trim his ears too for just 50 more bucks I said no, he kept insisting for me to say yes claiming untrimmed ears on schnauzers make them look cheap. Something in my gut told me he was going to trim his ears even if I didn't consent to it so i took my dog and left.
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UPDATE- I had several one on one talks with him before today, so he understood we were serious. He helped me finish shopping for all the other kids and got a stocking with some candy and little things. I still haven’t gotten a refund yet, but mysteriously, 2 days after this, his Fortnite account was banned. Haven’t figured out why or how that happened, but he knows if I do end up getting a refund, he will recoup some of his Christmas.
He’s been very kind lately and in a good mood, so I’m hopeful that this was a lesson he needed to learn. PS-he did get gifts from other family members, so he wasn’t completely without on Christmas.
We have a fairly large family, four kids. Our 15 year old son spent $500ish on Fortnite skins/whatever without our permission. He will wake up on Christmas with no presents as payment for this. It’s killing me inside a little since all the other kids will get gifts, but I also think it’s an important lesson for him to learn.
Edit-This got a lot more attention than I was expecting. Thanks for the awards! A couple of things:
1) He has been told not to expect presents from us on Christmas. He thinks we’re just threatening that, because we are kind of pushovers.
2) This is not make or break money for us. I am working on trying to get a refund, but if I don’t, it’s not going to keep us from eating or paying rent or anything like that.
3) This seems to be a very divisive topic. Either you think the punishment is fair and deserved or you think we’re absolute assholes for even considering it. I get it. There’s not one right answer.
4) We did have a password for purchases, but he either guessed it or saw one of us inputting it at some time and memorized it. I now get a notification every time my card is used and the card info has been deleted out of the system.
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You might be able to get it refunded if it’s pretty recent. My kids did this, spent around $400 on fortnite stuff. I called Microsoft customer service and they refunded me. It must happen a lot.
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There is audio of Amber Heard admitting she hit Johnny and that Johnny didn't hit her and STILL people act as if Amber was a victim. Amber also sued Johnny for millions and only later said she would donate it to charity and STILL has not donated a cent. And remember when Amber played a psychotic "it was all me" manipulator in All the Boys Love Mandy Lane? Please tell me I'm not taking crazy pills.
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She shit on his bed. It's documented that he called her amber turd.
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I see parties held by stupid influencers and I really want to punch them. I‘m isolating since 8 months and I wasn’t allowed to say goodbye. I feel helpless and absolutely miserable. The sadness will hit soon and I‘m not ready for it. I will never see her again.
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I’m sorry for your loss. I don’t find your anger irrational at all.
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To start:
I love this woman more than life itself. She is the most selfless, supportive, and loving person I have ever met. Every single day I am with her I am a better person for it. That being said:
She sleeps like an asshole.
We start all cuddled up like a Disney movie, snug as a bug in a rug. And then, when she falls asleep, we begin the nightly turf war that is our bed.
She will often start with a classic starfish maneuver, spreading her arms and legs to establish a beach head to begin her insurgence. She will then begin to slowly rotate her body in a counter clockwise fashion, until she is sleeping diagonally across the bed, establishing an ingress with her feet and legs. Then, with a classic pincer executed as ruthlessly as Hannibal himself, she brings her upper body forward, pinning me in and leaving me exactly 2 inches for my insomniac ass to try and sleep on. I then try to slowly slide out of bed, and sleep on her side, in which her reaction is to do the same thing 5 minutes later.
I have tried everything. We bought a California King for our tiny bedroom. I establish a green zone with pillows. I have even gently picked her up and slid her to her side, to no avail. The thing is, I can’t sleep in an empty bed anymore because I love this dummy so much. It has literally kept me up nights that I end up going to work with no sleep, and I can only sleep the next night out of sheer exhaustion. She also works hard, so I can’t wake her up but fuck I am tired.
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Try one of the weighted blankets, it supposed to help you sleep and be calming.
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I have been having suspecions for almost 4 months since I hired this (17 year old) babysitter for my 3 year old daughter. I'm a nurse working full time while he works three nights a week and comes home to sleep during the day.
I felt I was going crazy because something was off and he refused to ease my mind and answer questions I had - so I put a camera in the living room and saw nothing til day 4 where he and the babysitter were making out on the couch behind my daughter's back while she was watching tv. I felt like my entire world came crashing to the ground. I felt all kinds of negative feelings including guilt even though I just wanted to keep my job when he complained about me pushing him to the side.
He started crying when confronted, tried to get me to listen but I took my daughter and went to stay with mom. It's been a whole month now. The babysitter is gone and he's still crying about his slip up, even went as far as say the babysitter was the one initiating. I feel like I'm done with him after this. He managed to make me feel guilty for not dressing up or giving him enough attention now I do strongly believe I bear part of the blame in what happened. I feel disguested and my mind and heart keep racing not knowing how to deal with all of this. he's begging for a second chance and his family are defending him against me.
I forgot to mention our ages: I'm 31 and he's 34.
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He cheated with a minor. This it's not your fault.
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I. Am. Livid.
The only person I have had sex with within the past 5 years has been my wife. I thought I had a bladder infection or UTI, and scoffed when my doctor thought it was chlamydia. Well, here we are. I got the test results yesterday and I have chlamydia.
Decided to start snooping and it didn't take long to find the text messages between her and her boy toy. My guess is she doesn't even know she had it as well. She thinks I stayed up all night working, but little does she know I've already emailed her little lover boy's wife all the text messages. I warned the lover boy's wife that he's been sleeping with an infected woman and to get herself tested. I'm still deciding how to process this all but wifey's going to wake up to my positive test results and the messages of her infidelity.
The sun should be coming up in the next hour or two, and probably will be the end of this marriage.
​
Update:
I'll make a longer update eventually. I didn't confront her that morning. Boy toy's wife ended up responding to me and she has not confronted her husband yet either. I'm getting my legal bases covered first.
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You should just casually drop his name over coffee. “So, I was thinking you should probably tell John he has chlamydia”
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Let me explain. I haven't seen my brother in two years. He is coming to stay in the town I live in for a few days for work and has plans of staying at my house for 1 night of his several night stay. We plan on getting a drink, a bite to eat then head back to my place to chill for a few.
My wife is very abusive, manipulative and controlling. She has spent the last few days berating me for seeing my brother (it goes against her evil agenda of trying to separate me from anyone and everyone I love). She has been making comments about how fucked up it is that I expect her to put two kids to bed tonight by herself. Her "compromise" is that I get home by 11 and help her with the kids if they aren't already asleep. Ive obviously been pushing back on this, since she is a grown ass woman and can handle putting the kids to bed by herself once (remember, haven't seen my bro in 2 years). His flight getting delayed 30 mins delays my plans 30 mins and I will be abused and berated for it. I hate it, I'm terrified of this evil bitch but I feel so stuck.
Edit: Holy crap this blew up. Thank you to everyone for the kind words and support. I knew this wasn't normal behavior but needed to hear it, and the peope have spoken. My wife is BPD possible narcissistic and is very extreme in her responses to anything she doesnt like or agree with. Because of this, I have slowly been conditioned to let her have her way and abuse me. It happened so subtly and right under my nose. Abuse against men is real and I can't believe I let it get this far. I HAVE taken steps toward a divorce, but pulling the trigger on it has been hard, the idea of not seeing my kids everyday is terrifying but as many have pointed out, they'll be better off to get away from this environment. As for the people who told me to grow a pair or man up, I get it, and youre right. There is a responsibility on my part to establish boundaries but the consequences of attempting to do that at this point include her attempting to get me fired, trashing my office etc. She GOES there, and Im working closely with a therapist to navigate my way out with minimal collateral damage. Thank you to everyone who direct messaged me as well. I'll do my best to respond tomorrow, I will post an update tomorrow as well. Thanks again all.
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i think you should divorce
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I'm a mental health therapist(f48)who has jumped back into dating (males) after a ten year dating hiatus.
I've met a few men, taken some time to get to know them, and dang. Usually about a month into getting to know these guys I'm hearing phrases like "emotionally dead inside" and "unable to understand my own or other's feelings". They are angry and irritated at the core of their emotional lives and have very low levels of positive emotion. I feel so horrible for them when they disclose these things to me. It's very sad.
I'd like to think that my sample size is low and that my observations cannot be generalized to the entire heterosexual male population, but my gut tells me otherwise. I think there is a male mental health crisis. Your mental health does matter. And I wish I could fix it all for everyone of you, and I can't.
Edit: Yes, the mental health system is completely overwhelmed. I know it's difficult in the first place to reach out for help only to find wait lists and costs that are way out of hand in most places. Please keep trying. Community mental health centers usually have sliding scales and people to help get access to insurance.
There are so many mentions of suicide. Please, seek help, even if it's just reaching out to the suicide prevention hotline.
https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
I'm trying to read all the comments, as some of them are insightful and valuable. I appreciate all who have constructively shared their thoughts and stories.
For those who have reached out via private message, I am working on getting back with you all.
Thank you all for the rewards.
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It took my childhood dog dying for me to be assured that I wasn’t emotionally numb
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She could be crying and I'll just say to her ''well, you better suck it up, crying won't bring them back.'' or ''Oh, that sucks.'' or ''why not get a new friend?'' in the most monotone, emotionless voice, and then try and change the subject.
I had a friend die from drowning and another friend who died from a diabetic attack that made him fall head-first down a flight of stairs, which killed him. As you can imagine, a 16-year old learning their friend just died from drowning or a 19-year old finding out their best friend died from falling down the stairs won't be subtle.
edit - i posted this in more detail on confessions, its the 'im a mutant and despise humans' one this post made me feel like opening up more abt my family
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Grief is not a mental illness, but it sounds like your mother has one.
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When I was 25, I was a tattoo artist working with my best friends. One of them came in and we went bowling after work, and I got drunk. I told him about the woman in our friends wedding was super hot and his girlfriend called her and asked her to come to the bowling alley. She was heavily tattooed and we hit it off instantly, even though she was light years out of my league.
So, my friend and his girlfriend bail and she needed a ride home. Naturally I obliged and things went as expected. I hadn't spoke to her since, mostly out of fear she didn't want anything more than a drunken hook up. ~~A week later~~ Some time later I get a phone call to come hang out, and everything is chill. She lived with mutual friends so we just played games and drank, but she wouldn't. Weird, but maybe she's just not a drinker. At the end of the night I go to leave and she walks out to my car and tells me she's pregnant, catholic, and that we need to figure out what to do.
I said nothing. I got in my car and left, and packed my bags for Mexico.
It's been 9 years.
Our daughter is 8, her birthday is in 2 weeks.
Her sister is 2.
And their beautiful, intelligent, and clearly insane mother married me against all the protest from her family and I've been the happiest I've ever been in my entire life.
Edit: Both kiddos are mine. First one proven, second one is mine as well.
Edit2: Clarity - I never went to Mexico. Just packed. Clarity Part 2: We were at the bowling alley right after work, got drunk, she showed up, I had quit drinking knowing she was coming and didn't want to be sloppy. We bowled for 6 hours. Then I took her home. Was I drunk? No. Was it a smart move? No. Clarity Part 3: Catholic is in reference to her being against abortion.
Most importantly: We're happy. Honestly, only 1 rude DM and 1 report about my safety so all in all pretty good. Thanks for the support and well wishes, and also thanks for the laughs. And the hate, I love that, been on reddit 10 years the skin ain't so thin guys.
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Holy crap I went on a rollercoaster with this one. Still, it's delightfully wholesome.
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I understand your empathy about others and those who are underprivileged but god damn you people make it seem like I have to walk into a damn pity party every day. I get up, work, eat, sleep, and shit just like you. I can’t fathom this idea that many non black people have it in their heads that they should feel sorry for us all the time. Like it feels like whatever accomplishment I make you have to make it seem as if I need some extra attention, like I’m the kid at show and tell who needs a forced hand clap. I don’t want to be seen as underprivileged but I want to be seen as your equal. When I see all these white celebs give up their jobs because they feel sorry it just makes me angry. No, you earned your job just like I will earn mine. It’s virtual signaling at this and tbh it’s infuriating.
Edit: didn’t know this was going to blow up!
Let’s clarify that I’m talking about white and non black people who go on pity parties for black people with out warrant, i.e going out of their way to signal that blacks are underprivileged and will never be looked at by them as their equal. There’s a difference from being upset about issues and trying to virtue signal that you’re a good white person. Black people don’t want be seen like we can’t do fo ourselves... I should say most of us because there are some who still have a mentality they can’t do anything.
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Thank you! This is such a nice refreshing perspective on everything!
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I know it seems like a dumb thing to end my marriage over. But after dealing with this for so long I’m finally done.
My wife and I are both in our 30s. We have a daughter. My wife has always been pretty into appearances but it was never that bad. She just wanted things to look nice when people came over.
Then she started a Instagram page for moms and got a massive amount of followers, about 400 thousand since our daughter was born. Ever since then I feel like I don’t live in a house I live in an Instagram photo shoot. There can’t be any proof we actually live here. My wife stresses so much about things looking good that she doesn’t actually enjoy the moment. She started a fight with me right after our daughter took her first steps because I had put my drink down on the table behind her and it’s “all she could see” and how she’d need to edit it out of the video. She called me a selfish prick for putting my drink down on a coffee table to watch my daughter take her first steps.
Our daughters bedroom is just a mass of beige and cream, there’s barely any toys in it which was fine while our daughter was small but now she’s getting older. My wife refuses to buy her any toys that don’t match her “aesthetic” My mother took my daughter to the store and let her pick out a toy, she picked out this doll house from this show she watches, she got all of the dolls and furniture, and my wife told her she had to keep it at my mothers house because there was “no place for it at home” (she absolutely had room for it).
My wife is convinced I’m leaving for another woman, I’m having an affair, etc, but I’m not. I just can’t keep feeling like I live in a museum where I can’t touch or move anything, I can’t even build a blanket fort with my kid without my wife flipping out that they’re “decorative blankets” that she had folded a special way. I’m not going to force my daughter to live in an “aesthetic”.
Editing in, i’ve tried to encourage her to seek professional help, she insists this isn’t a problem and she doesn’t need any therapy.
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I would say you are not leaving her, because of her addiction to her "aesthetic". You are leaving her because she is selfish and obsessed with all that social media bullshit to that point, where she puts that shit over her family.
Good choice bro
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I’ve had the last few days off so I haven’t been to work yet. I’ll start by saying what that “cop” did was disgusting and I don’t stand behind him at all he’s a criminal and should be in jail. I became a cop because I truly want to help people in my community. I don’t insult people and I’m very level headed. Tonight there are many protests in my precinct and I know we’ll be suiting up for riots. I don’t want to be painted as a demon just because I’m wearing a uniform. I don’t want to be hated tonight because of what other officers have done in the past. I just want to come home to family safe and I don’t want to have to fight with people who I don’t want to fight because I’m in blue. I just hope everything isn’t too crazy tonight.
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A group of black protesters guarding a lone cop’s safety: https://i.redd.it/shx0vo887v151.jpg
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So many companies are putting out PR to set the stage for forcing employees back into the office. Why?
Previously, businesses said full time remote work would ruin productivity and the cost to put the infrastructure in place was too high. Well, covid forced the infrastructure to be put in place and drops in productivity didn’t happen. Now business and government are saying they want to preserve company and work culture. And they’re making all these veiled threats about losing out on promotions and being converted to contract employees. Wtf?
I have never been more productive or happy since I started working from home. A small minority of people want to go back to the office. My company has the surveys to prove it. Why force people to do something they don’t want to do, that actually makes them LESS productive, exhausted, and sucks up their free time? Commuting is terrible for the environment, and for employees’ wallets. Why force us back into the office so a vocal minority can have their social hour back at lunch?
I don’t give a shit about company culture. I like having extra money in my pocket. I like not having to spend an extra two hours of my day sitting in traffic. Fuck these CEOs and managers that are forcing employees back into offices because of “culture.”
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My company spent 10s of millions on a site remodel right before covid. We have to go back in June. I think that's the only reason.
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I'm an adult ICU nurse and I get to see just how fucked up Healthcare is on the outside AND inside. Today I had a patient get extubated (come off the ventilator) and I was so happy that the patient was going to survive and have a decent chance at life. We get the patients tube out, suctioned, and put him on a nasal cannula. Usually when patients get their breathing tube out, they usually will ask for water, pain medicine, the call light..etc. Today this patient gets his breathing tube out and the first thing he says is "How am I gonna pay for all this?". I was stunned. My eyes filled up with tears. This man literally was on deaths door and the only thing he can think about is his fucking ICU bill?! I mean it is ridiculous. The fact that we can't give EVERY AMERICAN access to free Healthcare is beyond me and makes me want to scream at the top of my lungs. I feel like it's not ever gonna change.
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Let’s not forget to mention why in the hell is dental not part of the entire healthcare plan 🙄 it literally can cause you whole health to deteriorate.
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Oooof, My younger sister (23) got beat up so badly by her boyfriend over some laundry and got taken to the hospital for a dislocated shoulder and broken finger. My parents are filing a report with the police and are pushing to have her (hopefully ex) boyfriend charged.
My husband heard and his reaction was to lean back and say she desreved it, and that she had it coming. Why? His excuse is that my sister is being babied by my parents and that she isn't fit to be in an adult relationship, moreover, he said her boyfriend had probably hit his limit with her and basically treated him as if he was the victim of abuse.
I was shocked to hear him say this and quite frankly worried that he'd condone and even JUSTIFY such horrible behavior displayed by my sister's boyfriend. I couldn't sleep thinking about what he said. Especially after I asked if he would do what that guy did if he ever hit his limit with me and his response was to just stare at me.
I don't know, I'm just not comfortable with his stance in this situation and I never expected him to say this.
**EDIT Hey, I just returned home and checked my profile and ...wow there are just so many comments that I can not/will not be seeing but thanks for those who gave advice, I really do appreciate it!**
**So, I read a comment about info being missing but that is pretty much it, Just want to mention that my sister is doing pretty well, her boyfriend is currently in custody. I haven't got the chance to talk to my parents about the police report but from what I understand my sister is still feeling hasitant about having him charged which is not a good sign**
**now about my husband: So my husband and I already have exsistant issues in our marriage, it started few months ago and I admit there's some built up resentment on my part and unfortunately, I'm starting to see things I couldn't see before in his behavior in general. We haven't talked since we had that conversation and he's not even asking how my sister is. He says he's going through some stuff at work but I'm pretty sure this isn't about work**.
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"When someone tells you who they are the first time, believe them." -- Maya Angelou
He told you. Now you know.
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I am a mother to a 17 year old, he graduates this year, college in the fall. He’s been dating a girl for 2 years. I found condoms in his room. We’re an
American family. Sex at a young age is frowned upon. I’ve always felt if you can’t wait til marriage, at least wait til out of your teens (20) I took his condoms, took his card so he couldn’t buy more, and took his car thinking that would stop them from having sex........
He will be a daddy in 8 months and I will be a grandmother at 42.
Lesson learned, although lesson learned too late.
Parents aren’t perfect, especially those of us from such traditional backgrounds. But I realize now where I went wrong. I have a younger daughter and I now know to be better when she is around my son’s age. Looking back, I do wish I would have just been glad he was practicing safe sex instead of trying to punish him because teenagers will find a way. He is nearly an adult, and I reacted as if he was 13. But parenting doesn’t come with any instructions. It is hard to accept your babies grow up.
So I admit my mistake.
We live, and we learn.
Note: Redemption and forgiveness should be encouraged when someone admits a wrong, not bashful shaming. Humans mess up. It’s what makes us, human.
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I'm glad you are admitting your role in this, but it's not too late to do right. They are both going to struggle with school and work now that they will be parents. The "easy" opinion of getting some blue collar job fresh out of highschool isn't going to do that baby any favors. Support them thru the next few years by babysitting or even allowing them to stay with you while they get established for a better quality of life for their whole family. Help him get a higher education so he can get a job that can support a family comfortably, and thus set your grandchildren up for success as well. Do what you can to help her too obvious, you all are linked now forever. Get to know her family better, maybe invite them to a family reunion. Basically, and I don't mean this in a bad way. Throw way what you have thought up till now and see what happens. Traditions can be good but times and situations change.
Edit. We got 2 types of responses here. People promoting abortion, and others saying that I'm shitting on blue collar jobs.
I'm a fucking custodian, and pro choice. so eat shit.
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The picture is beautiful. He had glowing blue eyes and the most beautiful smile. The sun was shining on his golden blonde hair. He looks like an angel in the picture.
The smile that had been used in every facebook and instagram post was induced by me flashing him to get a nice picture. I forgot about it entirely until I saw an old message to a friend I had sent the picture to before.
So now, the picture that is mostly posted of him on his family’s social media is his genuine reaction to his girlfriend’s boobs. I think that’s exactly how he would’ve wanted to have been remembered.
Edit: I just checked. It’s also on his obituary.
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How awesome that you still get to share this inside joke with him!
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I don’t care what you do at your job, if you’re working 8 hours a day 5 hours a week you deserve to be able to EXIST. Sadly this is not true. I make a little under double minimum wage but am scared to move out of my parents’ house (1 bedroom apartment) because I think I would I would run out of money in a few months. I realize I have it a lot better than some people, but holy shit this depresses the hell out of me. The world is fucked
Edit: To everyone telling me to “get a better job” I highly doubt you have struggled financially in your life. I’m not saying it is not impossible to work your way up in life, obviously that’s true. But in reality that is so hard for so many people. You’re clearly missing the point. There are huge flaws in American society that need fixing. I’m not saying I know the solution, and I’m not saying it will be a simple fix, but things need to change.
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It’s unfortunate that in a given society a full time job is unable to support one person.
People complain that “entry-level” jobs aren’t “supposed to support families” which makes sense because they can’t even support a person!! I know they use this to insult people who work low wage jobs but if they can’t support even themselves on it, how will they support their family.
If only inflation wasn’t a problem. Entry level jobs maybe were never meant to “support families” but the reality is that now with the job market as it exists, many people can only get entry level jobs regardless of age or family status.
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Anyways, I hope you have an amazing career and life. I really do. But I’m never dating a sex worker, online sex worker, onlyfans or any of that. It’s just a personal decision and hope you can respect that and realize it’s not because I hate you.
Edit: Wow... didn’t expect this many responses. Thank you all for your input.
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Nothing wrong with your decision OP. You aren’t insecure.
Edit: People really out here tryna say not wanting to share your SO - visually or otherwise - makes you insecure.
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Just came up to one of my coworkers who I saw had Google Maps pulled up on his PC with pins all along the North Shore (Minnesota). "Going on a trip?" He showed me the ring missing on his finger. No, his wife of 8 years had been cheating on him the last 9 months.
Earlier this year, in reference to another coworker, I told him "you can't change the way people are". He told me that sentence stuck in his mind ever since and he realized: Once a cheater, Always a cheater. He moved out and his ex is buying him out of their (her) house and they're filing papers.
Now in an attempt to feel better he's going on a trip with his dog in what was the family Jeep.
This guy is a star, excellent communicator, has his shit together and friends with everyone, always extremely thoughtful and rational, and rides a sport bike because why not. This is not the guy you'd expect to be cheated on; he did everything right. I could tell the last month he wasn't excited about anything like he used to be. Now I know why.
Bad things happen to good people. Fuck cheaters. And if you're cheating on your spouse, you owe it to them to see yourself right the fuck out.
Edit: We've been reading all the comments. THANK GOD they didn't have any kids together. Cheating is 100% becoming too normalized.
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Yeah man... whenever I see a meme or a joke that kind of makes light of cheating in some way, I can never find it funny. It just hits me hard.
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My husband and I have been struggling with infirtility , We've tried some options and right now we're looking into Surrogacy, My sister agreed to do it but my husband said he looked at how much time and money IVF would take and slowly started hinting that we take the traditional way. I was too shocked to even say anything but he acted like what he said was not even that big of a deal. He explained that it's just a quick way for us to have a baby and spare the money and time to use later. I'm 100 percent against it, that is way I'm backing down and am no longer comfortable with this whole surrogacy route...I can't even imagine my sister's reaction once she hears my husband's suggestion. I'm both devastated over the fact that 1, he'd even entertain having sex with my sister just because he wants the easy way and 2, if I ever agree despite feeling unconfortable then I will always carry this memory of how the baby is conceived. I refused and shut his suggestion down hard. He's now started guilting me saying I don't trust him then saying I'm selfish for choosing to back out when he still wants to be a dad like he expected when he married me. Basically blaming me for my infirtility issues.
I feel so devasted and like my body is useless and has failed me to the point where I could expect any negative comment on it wether true on not. emotionally and mentally... I just can't express how I feel right now.
by the way my sister is 4 years younger than me. I'm 34 years old and my husband is 37.
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That's not surrogacy...that would be your niece or nephew...
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You, yes you, are my hero. I don’t know you, but you have helped to keep my family safe. I am physician resident this year, aka my intern year. Much of the news focuses on those not wearing masks, not social distancing, and the political leaders and individuals behind the spread of this disease. **So I need to get this off my chest, not enough is said about the countless number of people who have sacrificed towards trying to slow the spread.**
I appreciate every sacrifice, every missed opportunity, every missed dream, every canceled vacation, every lonely holiday and birthday, every missed school event, every moment of insanity from social isolation, and every moment of self-restraint you have shown. Social isolation via solitary confinement is considered one of the cruelest forms of punishment you can put on someone. Although not entirely the same, many of you have chosen to face isolation to protect healthcare workers, family members, the elderly, and strangers you have never met. Many of you go to work (or work from home), and then turn down social opportunities for this cause. Only you know the depth and extent of your sacrifice, and to you I tip my hat. It makes the fear of going to work every day and knowing that I could accidentally bring something home that could kill my family much more bearable. Thank you for wearing masks, following guidelines and being a great example to others.
I know you are discouraged at the recent surges despite your best efforts. I know you feel cheated as you see others not willing to make the same sacrifice. You are the “helpers” that Mr. Rogers spoke of to look for during times of tragedy. The times “person of the year” may be directed towards essential workers, but I want you to know that I consider you part of these essential workers. You are the type of people that would sacrifice their life for a higher cause. You are the ones that have helped the pandemic become less worse than it would have been. Thank you. Please reach out and stay connected with others. Please get help for your mental health if it has taken a toll on you to make such a sacrifice.
**TL/DR: I'm tired of all the focus on those not helping the cause.
Those who have been quarantining since March are my personal heroes and you may never know how much it has meant to me and my family.**
Edit: Thanks for the awards but you are the heroes that deserve them :) Also, I do understand people have to work and should work. I am grateful for people who go to work as well (100%) and who are also trying to minimize exposure outside of work.
I also agree that mental health is very important. Please find ways to get out and into nature, find ways to connect with people socially, and seek help for your mental health (via tele- services etc.).
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I would give almost anything to just browse a crafts store in silence for an hour, but I’m doing my bit.
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This isn't like a retail employee who steals an occasional product. Cops have an enormous amount of power, the misuse of which leads to equally enormous consequences.
Edits:
\- [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue\_wall\_of\_silence](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue_wall_of_silence) is an established thing. Let's not pretend that it's not.
\- People can't always choose where they live or who they associate with but people /do/ choose to be cops.
\- Mentally lower the 1000 if that really makes you feel better but the principle stands.
​
Edit2: JFC show me where I said all cops. That being said, any one cop is nervous to say anything about a fellow cop because the Blue Wall of Silence. To extrapolate - So if one cop does a bad thing and one cop knows then it isn't just two bad cops because that one cop won't say anything because they know the majority of other cops won't support the whistleblowing.
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Totally agree with you.
Same goes to priests I'd say
Edit: Thanks for the gold stranger!!
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I got to tell someone about this. I feel like I've broken the system at 23 years old. I have 0 student loan debt. I have a big house in a small town in the midwest and my mortgage is $900. I just landed a remote software engineer job for 100k plus bonuses. After all my expenses I'll still have over $2000 per month to spend how I want.
I grew up in a poor family with 3 siblings so I have always thought 50k was rich. I'm kind of going insane realizing how much money I'm about to have.
My first priority is to get an emergency fund put aside. After that I have a bunch of appliances and home improvement I need to do. Past that point I'll just be investing and drinking a lot of lattes. I'm very conservative with my money so this will feel like being rich.
I know it's not actually rich, and with inflation it's not as crazy as it feels. But still.
Edit: Everyone is asking why I only have 2k left. After taxes and healthcare deduction I will only have 6k monthly take home. I also have property tax, home insurance, mortgage insurance, utilities, car insurance, car payment, a medical bill payment, and some other things. So yeah my monthly expenses are over 3k leaving about 2.5k remaining.
Edit: I tried to respond to questions. Check the top few comments for most details. I'll try to keep responding to new stuff
Edit 2: it's not smart to ask strangers online for money. Some of you are gonna lose a kidney like that
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So you're the person CNBC based their pie chart on.
Edit. Thank you everyone for the awards, they're the first ones I've gotten, and thank you for the upvotes.
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Everything now requires a shitload of unnecessary hoops to jump through just to weed out people who are too depressed to get through them.
Want to apply for a simple job? 3 years experience and 3 references. Must be able to sit through 45 mins of nonsense questions about how you agree, disagree, slightly agree, slightly disagree, oh and don’t forget extremely agree. Like what in the fuck is the difference between agree and extremely agree? I extremely agree you can kiss my ass.
Applying for any school program? Yes we would like 3 letters of recommendation from professors you don’t talk to anymore, 90th percentile on this test, a 5 page essay on why you want to apply, and 2 Nobel peace prizes.
I’m going back to bed.
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You need an entry level job to get experience, but you need experience to get an entry level job
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Nobody asks to be born, yet we are all obligated to give our labor until we die. There is no alternative, and the choice to end it early is outlawed. The meaning of life is to work, pay taxes, then die. It's fucked up. It's not lazy to want to enjoy life
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I hate that its "oh when you're old you'll get to enjoy life"
Oh so I've gotta wait til everyone I love is dead and I MAYBE get to that age? When my body is all fucked up, my mind has deteriorated and I can barely stay up.
No. I hate that.
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About a month ago, I found out both of my children where the results of my soon to be ex-wives affairs. I've had a feeling for awhile now that both them were not mine. 6 years ago when my son was born, I was the happiest I had been in my entire life. I had married my best friend, we had a child together, and everything seemed amazing.
That was until he started getting older. After a few years, I started to have doubts that he was actually mine. He did not look like my child. The more he started to grow, the more I realized just how different he looked compared to what I would expect a child of mine to look like. I am not petty or paranoid enough to let that alone drive me. It was my whore of a wife that really set my alarms off.
Whenever she went out, she never went where she said she did. She would have huge holes in her schedule she could never explain to me, she would refuse to allow me to interact with anyone from her work place, and a close friend of hers accused her of flirting with her s/o at the time. It did not help that soon after our son was born, her lies started to catch up with her. Still though, I loved her like the fool I was. She told me up and down how much she loved me whenever one of her lies caught up with her. She had convinced me that despite the fact she was a lying and manipulative woman, that she wasn't a lying manipulative whore.
Last year, she got pregnant again, and I still held out a small bit of hope that it was mine. But when her daughter was born, it was obvious she was mixed race. I refused to sign the birth certificate, and the paternity test I demanded afterwards proved my suspicions right all along. Neither of them are mine.
The day I got those test results were the day I filed for divorce from that whore and walked away from the family I had created. I knew that it would destroy her sons life to see me walk out. Despite my concerns, I was the best dad I could be to him. I loved him with all my heart and put in 110% into being the father he deserved. Now though, when I see him I am filled with disgust. Disgust for my whore of a wife, disgust with myself for not trusting my instincts, and disgust that the last 6 years on my life have been for nothing. I have been told by multiple people now that I am a monster for leaving "my son" like this. My ex has tried on multiple occasions since I moved out to use him to guilt me into getting back with her. She will have him call me at random hours of the night crying and begging for "his daddy" to come back. The day I moved out, she paraded him into the room as I packed my things to show me "how much damage I am doing." In every conversation that he is brought up, both online and off, I am berated and shamed. That despite the fact I am not the boys biological father, I am his dad.
What I have sadly now realized is that, to most, my own feelings mean nothing. My parents are my only supporters through all this, with my own siblings calling me a despicable person for abandoning a child like that. My feelings of betrayal and sadness mean nothing, because a child is involved. I know it is not his fault. I know that the man he called his father for his entire life just walked away, But why am I expected to "man up?" Why should I have to pretend everything is fine and I do not feel contempt for this entire situation. Why should I put my own life and feelings aside? I never was the boys father, I loved him like one and honestly still do; but I would come to hate and contempt him if I had to play that role. Hate myself for not standing up and taking my own life back into my own hands. He is not my child, and even though it is not his fault, he is not my problem anymore.
​
Edit:
Wow, this post certainly blew up. Guess airing my dirty laundry accomplished something. Anyway, i've seen a few common questions so I'll just answer them here.
1.) Her son knows the truth of why I left. I sat down and told him that I am not his father, and that his mother lied to me and cheated on me. i made it clear I am not mad at him, that it is not his fault this is happening, and no matter what I will still think he's an amazing kid.
2.) Some are saying that I never loved him, or was always looking for a way out. It's hard to convey emotions in a text post like this, and even harder to allow vitriolic hatred towards your whore of a wife decontextualize the last 6 years of your life. You can believe what you want though.
3.) I have a lawyer, and I'm not going to be paying child support or alimony.
Last though, for those who say I should stay in her sons life and be his father. That's not realistically possible. I do not hate him, but I have been cheated on, lied too, and used by a vile self-centered whore who has now caught her children up in her lies and deceit. He is a casualty of her actions, and blameless. However, it can never change the fact of the harsh reality we find ourselves in. I don't hate him, I feel so sad when I think about how he feels. But, all I see when I look at him is 6 years of my life I was lied to. 6 years of my life I was used. And 6 long years of built up doubts and frustrations with a woman who used me. There is no putting aside my hatred to try and be in his life, because the life I lived with him was nothing more than a façade cultivated by his mother. This is the harsh reality I find myself dealing with, and I simply cannot in good faith put myself or him through it any more.
​
Edit 2:
Since I am seeing many armchair lawyers in the comments saying this post is fake on grounds of what I said above. I will not reveal what state I live in, but I am currently going through a fun legal process called disestablishment of paternity. Won't shut up 90% of you who think google makes you a lawyer but at least I tried.
​
Edit 3:
This is going to be my last edit before I move on from this small little distraction I created for myself. First, I want to thank everyone for their kind words to me. In the comments, the DM's, and the chat. You have given me a bright day for the first time in a while. I wish I could reply to all of you, but I cannot thank you enough.
Secondly, I have noticed many people criticizing the word I used very profusely to describe my soon to be ex. I want to just say, the place I am now is one of the darkest I have been in my life. I see nothing but white hot rage for the woman who ruined my life. Is what I said inappropriate? Is the word I used to describe her dehumanizing and vile? Yes. I will admit that. But I won't apologize for it. What I wrote here today was the truth of the world as it is for me right now. It is the raw unadulterated stream of consciousness of a flawed man. I do not intend to try and get people to hate women, or to push some misogynistic message about how women are terrible. That is not my goal here, and that is not the message of this post. I understand why people do not like the word I used here, and you know what I accept that as a valid criticism of what I did here today.
I came here today to simply find some outlet for the situation I find myself in. To rant, mourn, and deal with the complex and raw emotions that have torn me apart for the last month. A place where I can freely speak my mind. And you know what, I did that.
Today was pretty alright thanks to you guys.
Again to everyone who showed me love and support, thank you from the bottom of my flawed heart. To those who came here disagreeing with me but showed me respect, thank you as well. After the shame and ridicule I face in my real life, the respect you showed me despite your disagreement was nice.
So long, and thanks for all the fish.
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This hurt my heart to read this.
My gut reaction as a mother was to tell you it’s not the child’s fault, etc etc
And it’s not.
What has me not telling you to not try and daddy those kids is your ex’s reactions. She clearly had every intention of using those kids against you. To try and guilt you and therefore control you. What an evil awful woman.
Your siblings are wrong. There’s no happy ending here. It’s not some made for TV movie.
Get away from her and cut all contact. Block her. Get a new phone number if need be.
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So I posted a thread about my annoying brother, and someone asked me why he and I (who are both adults) still live with our family. I explained that it works that way in Asia. It is pretty common for us to stay until we're in the late 20s for various reasons like our parents would get lonely, cost of living is insanely high for an insanely low minimum wage, and so on. But simply put, it is a cultural thing.
Aaaand I suddenly got downvoted, with some of them calling me immature for refusing to get out of my parents' home? What the fuck? I haven't even graduated in college, and in my country, even degree holders struggle to secure a job at McDonalds (which by the way don't even pay enough to pay rent), and yet you think it is immaturity not to leave your parents' home at 18? Because of what? Your sense of entitlement and sheer ignorance on other culture?
Bring your Western culture out of it. Unless you live in Asia, shut up.
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I'm white and was thrown out of the house at 19. I lived in a bed-bug infested apartment and put myself into massive debt because my parents thought it was time I experienced the real world. I didn't get my Associate's degree until almost 10 years later because I was too busy with two jobs.
I have two daughters now and I can't imagine throwing them onto the streets at 19. Breaks my heart to even think of that. They can stay here forever.
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Drove home this morning and cried in my car.
We’re starting to see COVID-19. We are a small hospital. We have to re use our masks and place them in a bag (I had to use a cup) all day. The elastic got loose and I had gaps when I went into the room of a presumptive positive. They add tests on after we may have been exposed.
People are lying about their travel history. People are stealing our supplies. People are yelling at us in public for wearing clean scrubs.
If I get on quarantine I will lose pay. I live paycheck to paycheck and I have two very small children. I will lose my car, my home, my children’s daycare and I won’t be able to afford food if I get quarantined or sick.
What if I get sick and they accuse me of catching it at the grocery store or from the father of my children- who is also healthcare?
I hate every single person brushing this off.
My career is my life. I eat, sleep and breathe it. I want to either fix people or escort them to the next life with dignity and respect.
I’m petrified of what is going to happen, but I can’t imagine ever leaving this field.
Edit:
Thank you to everyone who has offered support and love. I encourage everyone to support their local hospital and other essential people like grocery store and gas station employees. Keeping it local will help the community.
And to those bashing me:
Nurses don’t make much where I am. Saying nurses make a lot is a lie. Also I did take an oath and I will honor it. This was posted after a horrible shift. I will never regret this decision and I will go to work without doubting my choices. I love my community and will keep taking care of them until I can’t.
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You are in the forefront of my thoughts. All healthcare personnel are at this time. People need to take this seriously.
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Some of you are disgusting. I'm glad this is a throwaway because the amount of incest stuff and Asian bigotry and racism sent to my inbox and the chat was off the charts. And all the porn comments here were not necessary. Grow up.
I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I don't know what I was expecting when I shared this but it wasn't this.
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Does she have a dad? Fight fire with fire
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I (28F) was 24 years old at the time, and worked in this independent kitchen with no HR department as a cook for several years. There was a brief period of time where a coworker was pulling my hair repeatedly after being asked and told not to. He didn’t even stop when my managers told him to fuck off. So I got permission from my sous to take things into my own hands. I braided my hair for work one day and wove thumbtacks into it. I was met with a yelp when he tried to pull my hair again, and he never did it again. This has been on my mind lately because it was a pivotal moment for me in the way I allowed people to treat me.
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I am totally here for this. He deserved it!
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Within the last 30 days I was dumped by my girlfriend, my hamster passed away, and I (finally) put my 2 weeks in at my toxic job.
I, an independent 28 year old, was in need of something very specific that would fill the holes in my heart. I soon found myself driving 1.5 hours to my moms apartment where she greeted me warmly. I did my best to hang out with her for a bit, but ultimately found my way to her bed and cuddled up on it. I was passed out for 5 hours.
When I finally crawled out of bed, she had dinner ready and gave me the biggest hug.
I’m very lucky to have her love. There’s really nothing greater.
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I hope my kids will come to me like this when they’re adults. God knows I wish I could do with this with my own mom who passed in 2019
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I'm feeling numb and so confused right now and need to get this off my chest.
We've (both 30s) been married for 3 years, no major fights or disagreements and my discovery happened about 2 weeks ago. I'm in utter shock that I sometimes forget this is really happening.
Turns out he's been sexting this 16 year old girl for 3 months now. I saw their exchanged texts on fb and I did some digging by looking at her facebook profile she's 16 asian american. Now I don't know if he knows her outside of facebook because really all I know is some little info but I'm burning inside afraid of the confrontation and how it might go. Not only am I devastated over the fact that he's potentially cheating but also the fact that she's a minor. I'm lost on what to do or who to tell or how to process this. I do not think this is a forgivable thing for me to move past even if he comes up with an explanation for this.
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Leave. And on the way out, call the cops
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Mid 30s here. Normally not one to complain but today is my birthday and it sucked. So I’m going to be a whiny bitch.
Married, sole bread winner. Wife is a stay at home mom.
My birthday present requests:
1. An enthusiastic BJ (This was a happy request she can decline, not a demand)
2. Breakfast made for me (even a bowl of cereal I dont care just a little effort and showing that they care)
Birthday timeline:
Wake up at 6am, super quick vanilla quicky with wife (no BJ) Toddler cries as we’re finishing. So ends super quick(er).
6:15 Take my kid downstairs, make him breakfast, roll some cars around. He’s cute. don’t make myself breakfast, that would be fucking sad after my request.
7:45 Wife heads across to another city for a 100% unimportant PTA type meeting she could totally skip if she wanted to. I see her off, don’t even get a ‘happy birthday’.
7:45 -> 8:30 I do the housework (like most days) prep the child, walk him to daycare go to my office to start work.
Birthday breakfast was a plastic wrapped convenience store scone.
8:30 -> 11:30 work, child #2 (was at a friends the night before) gets sent home from school due to being sick…. Even though she’s not sick. I leave work, take her home and look after her. Wife still in pointless PTA. I remind kid it’s my birthday and I get an ‘oh I forgot, happy birthday’. Make sandwiches for her and generally keep her happy. We play a few rounds of video games together. She’s rubbish at them but adorable too.
13:30 kid goes to grandmas, I go back to work.
17:00 wife gets back from PTA meeting, finds i have taken the ~$12 she left on my card / money / wallet pile assuming it was mine. Apparently she received it from someone and didn’t write down how much it was. Get aggressively lectured for no reason.
She is ‘too tired’ to pick up toddler. I rush to go do it.
17:30 She asks what I’ve prepared for the kids dinner… ahh, I was working?!? I try to suggest cheerfully, hey it’s my birthday let’s Uber something tasty! get told off for that taking to long and told to ‘make something’ - so I make the kids some ravioli.
18:00 Wife grumpily folds a few towels from the 3 loads of washing I did. Then goes to play with her phone in our bedroom while I feed the children.
18:30 Birthday dinner was ravioli scraps and some toast, too burned out to be fucked making anything at that point.
19:00 I bathe the kids and feed them a slice of birthday cake I bought. I invite wife downstairs for cake. Nope.
20:00 I bring the kids upstairs to bed, put the big one to bed and the little one decides he wants to cuddle mommy.
20:30 Big kid falls asleep. Wife falls asleep next to little one.
20:30 -> 22:00 clean up the kitchen and two kids worth of carnage by myself.
That’s it. Birthday done.
22:00 -> now I mindlessly scroll Reddit wishing someone cared about me, not just needed me for money / food / changing diapers.
Honestly a card, a letter, a cuddle and a ‘happy birthday’, a fucking coffee made for me. Any glimmer of hope that someone cared would have been enough…
I’ve got money, food and a roof over my head. I know at the end of the day it’s not so bad and I’m just being a bitch. But I guess it’s a bit lonely hey.
Edit —-
I’ve no idea why this blew up while I was sleeping. But thanks for the birthday wishes internet friends. It’s weird that it helps, but it does!
Edit 2 —
I said PTA type meeting because I didn’t want to dox myself. I’m familiar with what she’s doing and the large group she was with. There is a new school campus being built in said city and they have day long steering meetings (and get a nice cafe lunch with the other mums provided, I should have skipped work for the meeting ha!)
Edit 3 (as I read the comments) —
I understand leading with the sex thing is douchy. I just hate that I was ‘gifted’ what should be a normal part of a marriage.
Edit 4 -
Just approached the topic with the wife. I’m not good at articulating these things so I wrote it down.
Her response was “is this going to make me feel worse? If so I don’t want to read it”
Edit 5 -
So, I've got 150+ DMS, most of which are people sending their love. Once nice girl offering to send her boobs (lol!) and another offering to send a card I guess today wasn't so bad after all.
Guys, with 4.5k comments and 150+ dms there is no way I can reply to your birthday wishes, but I'm reading them and I appreciate you all!
Edit 6 -
Since this started getting shared in other communities I should mention I said I
'clearly' requested a BJ in the OP. 'Clearly' as in I asked friendly and directly; I didn't mention it in passing in a way that might be missed or forgotten. Not 'clearly' as in demanded.
Reddit you all need to calm down about it. It's OK. to ask your spouse for a sexual favor, it's also ok for them to decline.
Edit 7 ---
Lots of people asking what I did for wifes bday:
I bought her some Airpods pros and a full frame Sigma art 50mm f1.4 lens. Woke up early and cooked her favorite breakfast with kid. (using home-cured gravlax I prepared from a week earlier because it's her fav.) Kid did garnishes and help make foam hearts in her coffee.
Gave her presents & card. Sang happy birthday goofily every time I handed her anything throughout the day and generally tried to keep the day as upbeat as possible. Ate dinner with her fam (I ordered her favorite). Gave her a flower before bed so she could go to sleep with a smile. Generally lots of smiles and happiness that day.
It's the one day of the year you can go out of your way to remind someone that they are loved and you were happy they were born. I don't go out of the way for many people but IMO your spouse is the one you should do it for.
To be clear, I didn't expect anything to the scale of above. But any kind of indication they cared would have been good. Shit, don't cure gravlax for a week, just pour some cereal for me and I would be like 'holy shit, she cares!'
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What kinda pta meeting lasts 9 hours?!
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My parents got married when they were super young. My dad knocked up my mom, and their parents married them off. My grandfather was able to set up some business for my dad in a big city, and they moved here soon after my birth.
My mom grew up in a conservative southern town where she was taught to be a submissive wife. And even after moving to the big city, she didn't spend much time socializing. She had no friends and never went out. My dad was only there to provide for us. He was always away on business, and he wasn't there as a husband for my mom or as a father to me.
My dad made a lot of money, so we never lacked anything. Growing up, I became my mom's best friend. We would talk about everything. I pushed her to make friends and to find hobbies. After years of pushing, she started going to a nearby park and made her first friend, a gym trainer. Encouraged by her friend and me, she decided to join the gym.
She met a few more people there and started having some semblance of a social life, but she still continued to tell me everything.
I think my dad's new secretary gave him the idea, but he asked my mom for an "open marriage" almost a year ago. He told her he wasn't happy in their marriage and that she wasn't providing him with everything he wanted. My mom, who is a "christian wife", was mortified and told me about the proposal in tears. I suggested she get a divorce, but she said she didn't believe in it and she wouldn't be the one to end their marriage.
As my dad pushed, I knew exactly where this would end up if my mom agreed. Her friend and I convinced her. My mom was hesitant at first, but she agreed with the condition that they would be completely transparent with each other.
My dad was a middle aged (41) man with a belly and my mom (39) was an athletic woman who worked out regularly. I'm a 22 yo woman btw. I don't know how my dad was so blind or what he thought would happen. I helped create online dating profiles for my mom almost six months ago. After getting an insane number of matches, choosing from them and chatting with them for months, my mom started hooking up with a few people. Getting all this attention has provided a massive boost to her confidence and she seems better.
My dad hooked up with his secretary almost immediately. He's had very little luck with other ladies. With their transparency thing, my mom tells him about all her hook ups. A few weeks ago, my dad screamed at my mom for some minor thing. Usually, my mom would've apologised but with her new confidence, she didn't back down.
It's been constant fights the last few weeks. My dad keeps starting fights by making snide remarks about my mom's clothing or appearance. He almost even called my mom a whore but stopped himself. I think "open marriage" finally sunk in. My mom told me he tried to have a conversation about stopping their "open marriage" but she immediately shot it down. I think they'll split up.
My dad was never there for either of us but the thought of my parents splitting up still feels weird. I don't feel bad for my dad but I wish he put effort into his family. I'm happy for my mom though.
**Update: (18 April, 2022)**
A few days after my previous post, my dad left our home and had a divorce served to mom in a week. My grandparents didn't know about any of this, but my dad told them when he served the divorce. He also implied to them that my mom was cheating on him. Both sets of grandparents came to our home and started berating my mom. I kept screenshots of all my parents' communications, and my mom showed them to them and it got way worse after that. Grandparents started fighting each other blaming each other's children for causing all this.
A few days after this, my mom's old "church friends" came to our home. Back when my mom used to go to church, they used to look down on her for being from a small town. My mom has always been a very caring and non-judgemental person, so she disagreed with their bigotry and they began excluding her from their activities. After she met her gym friends, my mom stopped going to church entirely. These "church friends" started calling my mom a slut and she kicked them out.
My mom is on a cut right now, so she has very defined abs and arms. So along with all the normal stuff getting thrown at her, my grandparents accused her of having a "man body" and she also had a lot of random transphobia thrown at her. Her trainer friend has been a great support through all this. She contacted the attorney she used for her divorce and my mom is spending a lot of time at her house.
Turns out, the business my dad is running is owned by mom. It was set up by my mom's dad in her name, so it belongs to her. I did not know this until now and assumed that my dad owned it. The whole situation is a huge mess right now. Dad is living in some hotel and my grandparents left yesterday after a week of fighting and trying to force my parents back together. I know there's a lot more divorce drama to come but I hope it calms down for now.
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He fucked around and found out
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So yesterday it finally happened. My wife of 8 years caught me cheating and we ended up having a huge fight. I never saw it as a big deal, I told her she’s overreacting but all she seems to think is that I’ve broken to most important thing in a marriage which is trust. I’ve been doing it ever since we got married and even a little bit before, I never considered it wrong.
She’s still mad about it and staying with her parents, we can barely have a conversation without her telling me I’m “gaslighting” her. She’s said straight up she wants a divorce and I just think it’s such a big overreaction. I told her it was just a game of UNO but she doesn’t care. Anyone have any advice?
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UNO’s at it again …ending relationships one card at a time
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I don't know why in gods good name my mom thought I would be the one to come to. We don't get along. I went to live with dad at 16 because she told me she hated me and kicked me out. My older brother, the golden child, I know for a fact has a spare bedroom she could sleep in now that she's losing the house.
My moms situation is entirely her own fault as well, which makes this all the more annoying. She and my stepdad bought a 7-bed room house 10 years ago, right after she left her job of 20 years to work at some stupid start-up that was out of business only 3 years later. My stepdad spent the last years of his miserable life bed-bound because he ignored every doctor telling him to stop shoving his face full of food at every waking moment of the day. So, he died 500 pounds and in misery. I was more than fine with this by the way. Well, when he died early this year it pretty much drained the last of the money my moron of a mother had remaining, and now the banks taking the house back.
So, she shows up at my door for some reason. After mistreating me since I was a kid, and ignoring me unless she wanted something since she married that thankfully dead land whale. She had the nerve to ask to live with me! It's only me and my husband in our 2 bedroom house sure. But that spare bedroom is his office, the basements my art studio, and the couch in front of the fireplace is for our lovely cats. There is no room for the wicked hag anywhere in this house. But, I knew this opportunity would never come again. So.....
I told her she could live with us, if, and only if she decided to follow the house rules.
\> All electronics were to be turned off by 6 pm. If she was caught with any after that they would be taken away and sold at the next yard sale.
\> Bedtime was 7:30, if I caught her up I would take away all of her clothing for the week.
\> She may only shower for 5 minutes, once every three days
\> All chores must be done the moment she wakes up. If I roll out of bed and they are not she will not be getting meals for the day.
\> She must make sure she is alert at all times, if I and hubby need something done, IT IS TO BE DONE AT THAT MOMENT, or else she will lose her bedding privileges for the night.
\> She will be in charge of cooking one meal each day, that I choose, if it is not made to my liking she will not be allowed to join us and instead will eat the cheapest frozen meal available.
\> I will be reading all her mail, text messages, and emails. I will give her the ones I deem acceptable communication under my roof.
\> Her car will be my own personal travel car, she will also drive me where ever I want. She will still have to pay for gas.
And, last but not least.
\> If at any point she displeases me, I will be calling my brother up to pick her up from a nearby gas station. I will get to choose what she takes to put in a torn-up backpack before dropping her off without looking back.
She called me a monster, told me these conditions were inhuman, and asked if I was insane. These were the exact conditions I lived under for years as a teenager. The exact conditions she tormented me with for years until she finally let me go live with the one parent that loved me. And these would be the conditions she would suffer under if she dared to ask me to home her worthless, joysucking soul.
I don't know where she went after she stormed out of my house. My brother called me and told me I have "the biggest balls in the family" for the stunt I pulled. From the sounds of it though, none of the spawn want the brood mother to live with them.
I hope she finds a nice park bench to stay on.
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Did she recognize those terms, or did you have to remind her where they came from?
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Men treat women like we aren’t even human beings, and even worse on the internet.
They scream at the top of their lungs “gamer girl” whenever they hear a female voice. Aren’t you embarrassed? You should be ashamed.
It’s not fun to play a lot of games as a woman where it’s required to speak because men ruin the fun by being pieces of shit. What goes through a male’s head thinking it’s okay to treat others like that. “Not all men” well guess what, it’s a massive amount of them.
Even speaking and simply saying hi can change the way you get treated once they find out you’re a girl/woman. Then you get called slurs and stupid shit. Go outside and take a class on how to talk to people.
A man invited me to his party in a game and was being friendly to me but the rest of his group was calling him a “simp” for showing me basic human decency.
If you get offended by reading this post, then you’re part of the problem. Showing basic decency is the bare minimum and we don’t even get that on the internet.
A lot of men need to grow the fuck up and stop being rude assholes.
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I'm a dude. But I like to play female characters in games. One of them was a damage priest, and since a female priest = nun and nun = "sister", I named the toon "Sisterdeath", and dyed all my gear to look like a nun's uniform.
Literally EVERY SINGLE DAY I would get people sending me whispers with **super** sexual content. Offering me ingame items or currency for nudes, all sorts of shit. One dude offered me $100 to come onto his vent server and have phone sex with him. I logged into the server and was like "sup bro?" in my deep, manly voice. I didn't get the $100 :(
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I (22M) and my girlfriend (23F) have been dating for the past 8 months and she recently met my parents. I'm on an alternate account because I don't want her to see this. Anyway I added her on Reddit and looked through her profile and she is an active member of r/femaledatingstrategy. For this who don't know r/femaledatingstrategy is known for being toxic towards men. I already knew about the sub before I started dating my girlfriend.
About 7 months ago when we just started dating she posted about how I suggested we split the bill on one of our dates. I just saw this post today. The comments and the way she spoke about me were really hurtful to see and I cancelled meeting her tonight by making up an excuse. She agreed with someone saying 50/50 dates were a sign of lack of interest and a way of making sure I didn't lose money without having sex afterwards.
I don't know if I can be in a relationship with someone who views men this way and the comments she makes on that sub make me feel sick. I'd be embarrassed to break up with her because my parents met her two weeks ago and I told my mum about how serious about her I was. I'm confused on what I should do.
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Don’t worry about what your family will think if you break up with her. They want the best for you, and I’m sure they know that life can change suddenly.
Edit: if they ask why you broke up, you can simply say she betrayed your trust and leave it at that.
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This is a throwaway. And I'm on mobile, so sorry about that.
My story is not too different from many survivors of sexual assault that you've probably heard. But in my culture, men are always perpetrators not victims. I have no intention to compare myself or downplay the seriousness of anyone else's story.
I was 5 when it first happened. I wasn't allowed to go outside to play alone, only with my brother. As such I had no friends outside of school. My brother saw me as a burden, so he would just tell me to go away while he went to play with his friends. One of his friends stayed with me, he played with me. I liked him. He was probably the same age as my brother, 16.
One day I wanted to go out to play but my brother didn't want to take me. So he offered to look after me. He took me to an underconstruction house and he raped me. He told me it was a secret game. He said I shouldn't tell anybody. I had no idea what any of it was. I didn't tell anybody.
It continued, two-three times a week. After the construction of that house was, over he would take me to the woods a little away from the neighborhood. It continued like this for two years. Until I was 7. We moved after that. And I didn't see him again until 5 years later.
He went to the same highschool as my brother. I saw him at a function in their school. I was 12 then. I knew what he did to me, I knew it was wrong. So I decided to tell my mother. When we got home that day after the function, I told her what he did to me. She was surprised that I knew what "rape" meant. She told me it wasn't possible for a boy to get raped. "How would he rape you?", she asked me. I didn't have an answer to that question. She punished me for lying and saying bad words. I stayed quiet after that. I loved my mother, she was understanding and loving. I never thought she would react in this way to me opening up to her.
I am 20 now. Last night I told my girlfriend about it. She hugged me, I cried and she cried with me. It felt like releasing the pressure from a container which had been stuffed and cramped for the last 15 years. She was also a victim when she was 14. She understood. It felt good. She gave me what I expected from my mother.
She told me that we should take some sort of revenge from him. But I didn't want to. It doesn't matter to me if he is happy or suffering. I am content with my situation. I don't even know where he is now and who he is now.
If you read my post, thank you so much for your time. I just want to tell you that if you ever feel that someone is abused or tells you about it, even if you can't do anything to get justice for them, comfort them. It costs nothing to make someone feel better. And maybe it will give them peace or willpower to seek justice for themselves.
Edit: I'd like to mention that my country is India and people usually don't think twice about leaving boys alone with someone they know. Boys are encouraged to be very very close to each other but discouraged from being friends with girls or women.
Edit 2: The highschool function I talked about was an anniversary for the school, so ex students and their families were also invited. This will be the last edit because I don't want to think about it anymore. Thank you so much to everyone who came forward with their own stories and everyone who showed support and kindness. You're all legends.
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Big hugs. I'm.pleased your gf is so sensitive to you
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I made a post a bit back about an insane demand from my boss. Essentially, she told me that my pants were too revealing and that they showed by bulge (they do not). She then told me that I needed to replace my work pants. If you want to read my original post, you can find it [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/rc2k83/my_boss_just_asked_me_not_to_wear_my_normal_pants/).
To recap what advice I got from my original thread, here it is:
- Go talk to HR
- Never talk to HR
- Go talk to a lawyer
- Lawyer will waste your time
- Your pants are fine
- You need new pants
- She wants to bang you
- She hates you
After dwelling a little bit on my options, I settled for a middle-of-the-road approach.
I contacted two well-known lawyers in my area and got a consultation from them about my situation. They both thought that while I *was* sexually harassed, the case wasn't bulletproof as there was little evidence, and no pattern of abuse. They then *also* warned me about going to HR without any evidence, as it can cascade into me losing my job in unexpected ways. **fine**.
Since I needed evidence, and a pattern of abuse, I first wanted to read up on what standards my company has set for managers when it comes to dealing with sexual harassment. I requested from our online "learning" catalogue to take the sexual-harassment and "tough conversations" courses that are normally required only for managers.
In the "though conversations" module, there was a scenario where a male supervisor needed to ask a female employee to correct her work outfit, as it did not meet the company's dress code. The module **in plain English states that the supervisor is not to intervene and to refer the issue to HR**. I assume that the inverse, a female supervisor reprimanding a male's outfit, would follow the same standards.
I then sent an email to my boss asking her to follow up on our previous conversation. I wrote:
"To <Boss>,
I want to clarify some things regarding our previous conversation. Please confirm whether or not my understanding of your statements is correct:
- My pants violated our dress code by being too tight and revealing my "bulge"
- The issue pertains to all my pants, not a specific subset of my wardrobe
- This is a requirement from management, and not a request
Please get back to me.
Sincerely,
- /u/TransparentVoices"
It took over a full work day, but the response I got was
"To /u/TransparentVoices
Yes, I did tell you to fix your wardrobe. This is not a request".
- <Boss>
[MFW](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-15VC4Yxzys)
I immediately replied
"To <Boss>
If management is demanding that I replace such a large amount of work clothing, it must be done at the expense of <company name>. Please let me know if this is possible, as we will have to work something else out if it isn't.
Sincerely,
- /u/TransparentVoices "
and her response later was
"/u/TransparentVoices
This can be done, but I must be with you to supervise your shopping. Check my schedule for my availability"
Good lord. Suddenly the "she wants to bang you" theories seemed less crazy.
I backed up the emails to a personal account and sent everything to HR. Less than two hours later, I receive a phone call asking me to come to HR immediately and drop my work unless it was time-critical.
I complied. I was told that they were taking this matter "very seriously" and that I should take the rest of the day off.
I came back to work today and <Boss> is gone. I was told right before lunch that she had been placed on administrative leave pending a full investigation and that I shouldn't worry, its against company policy to engage in any form of professional retaliation.
I sit here now like a king on a porcelain throne, telling you about my victory during my post-lunch dump. Bye-bye boss lady.
TLDR: Boss sexually harassed me about my non-existent pants bulge, then demanded she take me shopping to replace all my pants. She is now probably going to be fired.
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“Supervise your shopping” WTF???
I think the company wouldn’t have given a fuck, but she shot herself on the foot by saying the company could cover your new bulgeless wardrobe.
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I went to the gas station. There's an ad on the pump. Went to watch a movie on Amazon Prime Video. Got some ads DURING the movie. YouTube's ads are getting worse. I can't SAY anything in my house without getting ads about it. We just ate mac n' cheese for dinner two nights ago, and guess what ad I got on YouTube today? Velveeta cheese and shells. It's getting downright creepy.
Everywhere I go or look, there's an ad in my face trying to sell me something. It's MADDENING. I can't watch a video, a movie, nothing, even on services I already pay for! This endless swath of ads and promotions can't be good for our mental health. It's certainly driving me crazy.
EDIT: I don't have Alexa or whatever for this every reason and never have. That's why it's creeping me out lol
EDIT: I've had Brave installed for less than an hour and I already love it. Thanks Reddit!
EDIT: All the boomers in the comments saying, "gO oUtSIde" c'mon. That's the best you've got? As if I NEVER leave my home. And there are never ads outside...like idk, billboards?
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Let's hope it doesn't become like in Futurama.
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This is a throwaway account and all names are fake. The story includes me(28M), my (now ex) girlfriend Elise(27F), and her best friends Leah(27F) and David(27M).
​
Elise and I had been together for 3 years and living together for 1.5 years. Our relationship was very strong and we were madly in love. All of our friends always used to say that we were a perfect couple. Our communication was strong and we had everything planned in our lives. I told her that I won't be marrying her before I get a job that pays well enough to build our family, and she agreed. Well, I got a very good job 2 months ago and we started planning our lives together. Our plan was to get married in the next year or two, buy a house, and then have kids when we have more financial stability. She also started dropping hints that I should propose. I was already planning to propose, so I started researching for rings, proposal venues etc.
​
This is when I contacted Leah and asked her to meet me and keep it a secret. I told her my plans and she confirmed that Elise would love this and also gave me some suggestions which I loved. Leah also included David as the three of them were best friends since childhood and knew each other very well. They also helped me pick the ring. The plan was to rent a cabin surrounded by nature and wilderness as Elise likes that a lot. I rented the cabin and on Friday I took the day off without telling my girlfriend and met up with Leah and David and one of my friends to set up everything. I gave instructions to my friend about how I wanted everything to be set up as he was supposed to go there the next day before us and set up everything (flowers, cameras etc.). I went back home after that and ordered Elise's favorite takeout. We talked about her day and then went to bed.
​
Now a week ago Leah had invited Elise for brunch on Saturday (proposal day) at a new fancy place (the proposal location). She emphasized that the place was fancy so that Elise wouldn't get suspicious of Leah asking her to wear a nice dress. On Saturday morning Leah and David came to our apartment to pick up Elise. As soon as they left I called a friend of mine who was waiting just around the corner and I left soon after. Then I called my other friend who was supposed to be at the cabin and asked him how everything was going. He assured me that everything was set up exactly how I wanted it. I had also asked David to share their location and to drive slowly or take a longer route so that I can get there 10-15 minutes before them. I realized David hadn't shared the location but it was fine. We got there and I just ran in to change into a suit. Then I went to the exact position and checked the camera angles. Everything was perfect. Then I waited for my girlfriend and her friends to arrive. The drive is 30-40 minutes from our apartment and they should've been there. I thought they went slightly overboard with stalling. I waited there for another 20 minutes.
​
It had already been more than an hour since they left the apartment and I was getting worried so I asked one of my friends to call David and sneakily ask how long it'll take them. They called him 2-3 times, but no answer. Then they called Leah 2-3 times. No answer. I assumed the worst. I called David and Leah as well. Still no answer. Finally, I decided to call Elise. First call, she didn't answer. My heart was racing at this point. As soon as I called her again, Leah answered instead. I was panicking and asked her if everything was alright and why is nobody answering the phone. She went silent for 2 seconds and then started yelling at me. She told me to never call Elise ever again and that I was dead to her. That I was a horrible human being for doing that to her. That she doesn't want to see my face or talk to me ever again. I was confused, but before I could say anything she hung up. I was so confused and started crying and my friends had to console me. Soon after that, I got a text from Leah that she'll be coming over later with David to get Elise's stuff and that Elise doesn't even wanna step into the apartment, even if I'm not there. I immediately called her parents to ask what was going on. They knew about the proposal and we were supposed to go to their home for lunch after the proposal. They had no clue what was going on and told me that they'll call her and ask. I got a call from them 10 minutes later saying that they called Elise and she told them that she can't talk right now and she'll call them later. They were also confused about all this. I was devastated and I didn't know what to do.
​
My friends took me back to my apartment and we hung out. David and Leah came over in the evening to take Elise's stuff. My friends and I tried to talk to them but they didn't say anything. They just asked me where Elise's stuff was and just took some of it and said they'll be back for the rest. They also reiterated that if I tried contacting Elise again, I'll be reported for harassment. At that moment I just wanted to cry because just the thought of me harassing my girlfriend was overwhelming. After they left, my friends told me that they think I shouldn't be alone right now and they were staying the night, and won't take no for an answer. We stayed up and talked till 4am last night and then everyone went to bed. I wasn't able to sleep and I've been just thinking about every potential reason for Elise's behavior, but I don't have any answers. The only scenario I can think of is that Elise was cheating on me and somehow she realized I was gonna propose and she freaked out and told her friends that she can't do this because I cheated on her. This still doesn't make sense but it's the closest thing to an explanation I have right now. I know it's a horrible thing to think about. Today was supposed to be the first day of our engaged life together. Hopefully, I'll be able to get some answers from her parents if they talk to her.
​
ETA: Been up all night and was going through the comments. I cannot reply to every comment and message but I just wanted to say that I appreciate all the supportive comments and messages. I don't have any updates yet but I wanted to add some details for the people speculating. For the people worried about Elise's safety, her parents called her yesterday and talked to her briefly. She just said that she's not feeling good right now and she'll call them in a few days to talk. So apparently she's safe. I've told them to call me as soon as they hear back from her. Also, David is gay so I don't think there's anything going on romantically between them. For the people saying that I did something wrong (cheat, or physically hurt her) IDK what to say to you. If I did that then I won't be losing all my sleep looking for answers. Some people suggested that I don't give Elise's stuff to Leah and David, and I think it's a good idea. I'll tell her parents that if they want her stuff, they can either tell Elise to get it or come get it themselves. When Leah and David came to get some of her stuff they just took some clothes and shoes. There are many people who are confused about the timeline. All of this happedned 2 days ago on Saturday, not last week. I'll also try to contact Elise. I'll write down everything I can think of and send her an email as I'm blocked on everything else. Also, one of my friends knew Leah before we met (they were colleagues at their old job and they set us up) so I've asked him to try to find out what's going on from their mutual friend group.
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This is the first time I'm invested in a story on this page. I'm really sorry this happened to you, but it seems like you're dodging some sort of nuclear bomb. I am interested to hear what the real story is and who was told what, etc. Please update when you have answers, these friends seem suspicious imo.
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The director of the company came to me the other day and said he wanted me to take over the role of one of my coworkers (a deputy team leader) and all the extra responsibilities that come with it. The catch? I get no more money for it and no promotion in my job title for a YEAR! I obviously said no because it's ridiculous, there's literally nothing in it for me and I'm planning to leave soon anyway.
Then they had a 2 hour long meeting today trying to figure out what to do because I said no, nobody else in the department is capable, they don't want to hire outside the company, and they have people quitting left right and centre.
They treat everybody so unfairly and I just love that they're suffering for their money grabbing actions!
So a word of advice if you are or ever will be a manager, treat your workers well or all the decent ones will leave!
Edit: Thanks for the awards everyone! Especially the gold!
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Shoulda asked, “What’s in it for me?” No particular reason besides him tryna scramble together a response
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My girlfriend (F22) and I (M23) live together. My day starts off much sooner than hers does. I'm usually about to the office by 6:30am, which is about when she starts waking up. I'm one of the first people in the office, so I always put headphones on and listen to music as I start my day.
I get about 15 minutes of music before it stops and I get the notification that the output device has changed. This is because we have a Google home that's hooked to my Spotify account. When my girlfriend wakes up, she starts her day with "Hey Google, play ..." So she has music when she's getting ready.
I always just leave my phone open to see what she's listening to, and when she heads out around 7:30, I get my account back. I'm sure that she has no idea that she's participating in this little routine, and I have no intentions of telling her. Sure, it'd be easy to swap it to her account, but I love to know that she's awake and starting her day listening to her favorite songs.
Another benefit of this is that I know what her current favorite songs are, so when we get in the car together or we're just sitting around, I know what songs will spark joy. Some days I think she's onto me..
We're both very happy together, and I plan on proposing here in a few weeks. I'm excited to spend the rest of my life with her.
EDIT: More context for everyone!
Hey Everyone! Your support is wonderful!! I'm so happy that you all enjoyed seeing a snippet of my relationship with my girlfriend. She's my favorite person in the world. If you think I'm sweet, you should meet her.
We met about five years ago in college. We argued over a seat in calculus, then ultimately decided to team up academically because we were in the same major. We were best friends for about three years, and now have been dating for two years. We live together with two wonderful cats.
The engagement ring comes in two weeks, and we have a trip planned next month to have a romantic getaway. I love photography and we both love hiking. Due to this, we always go hiking with my camera and tripod. We always take photos together at the peaks, so I plan on doing that when I propose! I'll try to post an update when it happens!
Love isn't some grand gesture, I've learned it's just a lot of little things that add up.
EDIT 2: An Update on the engagement!
For anyone still keeping tabs, I adore you. The ring is in. It's currently hidden in our home. Due to us finding a cute little townhouse to move into, we will sadly be moving during the timeframe that we hoped to go on our escapade, so it got cancelled.. I hope to propose soon, but want it to be meaningful. For that reason, I'm unsure when it'll be. For those of you that have stuck around this long, I appreciate you. I hope to return here soon with some wonderful news. Until then, I wish the very best for you!
FINAL EDIT: Closure, in case anyone is still paying attention to this!!
I PROPOSED TODAY! I apologize that this took so long, thank you to anyone that is still keeping tabs. There were a lot of moving parts in our lives that delayed the proposal, so I'm thankful that I finally could. In the end, it was wonderful. She cried, I cried, our parents cried, and our friends are all ecstatic. Now it's time to celebrate and begin wedding planning. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with this wonderful woman.
I hope that you all find love, everyone deserves to feel loved.
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I want to be loved like this
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He was dressed for work when he left today. I packed him his lunch, told him to have a great day at work. He said thanks, and left.
I have no idea where he is, why he said he was going to work if he wasn’t. I can’t reach him, his phone goes straight to voicemail.
I don’t know why he would take the day off (according to his boss he’s been taking EVERY Thursday off- his exact words were “I KNOW THURSDAYS ARE YOUR HUSBANDS DAY OFF”) and not tell me
**edit** [update ](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/u4n7x2/update_my_husbands_boss_just_called_me_because_he/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
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Plot twist. The boss knows what he’s doing and low key tipping off the wife.
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EDIT: I just wanna thank this group for getting me through my loss - I totally forgot I had a previous post here from when she was dying, but hadn’t died yet. Everyone’s comments were really supportive. I’m reading them again and crying all over again. I didn’t want anyone to think I’m double-posting and didn’t notice.
We live in the US South, notorious for covidiots who cuss out minimum wage employees for asking them to wear masks, or protesting restaurants that went to takeout only. It’s full of selfish, stupid people who don’t care that my friend missed her last thanksgiving. Her last Christmas. Eating her favorite meal at her favorite restaurants. Dates with her husband. Celebrating their 3rd year wedding anniversary in person. Hugging her mom. Seeing…. Anyone.
I missed a whole year with her. Because of fucking stupid assholes who my care that 2% of people die of covid.
She died of cancer, but she spent the last year of her life locked indoors, getting pneumonia was entirely too easy for her in her compromised state even BEFORE Covid.
She just had to watch as people flaunted their denial and refused to follow restrictions. Listen as people said “only 2% of people die”.
She was that 2%. And because of this fucking pandemic, she didn’t get to leave her house for the last year of her life.
Because what’s a measly 2% for the price of going to restaurants and not wearing masks?
Go fuck yourself. The 2% of high risk people who’d die of COVID if they got it included her. She’s a person. Not a statistic.
She deserved a year of selfies and road trips and swimming in the ocean and getting tattoos and going to concerts.
She deserved better.
Fuck cancer.
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This is something I’m going through with my dad now. He’s a bit older than your friend at 70 years okd, and he’s had a good life, but it’s still awful and unfair. He and my mom had 3 big trips planned including a family trip with all the kids and grandkids between 2020 and early 2021. Everything was delayed and rescheduled. Then brain cancer hit in Jan-Feb this year and he’s moving into a hospice home today.
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Last month, my brother got married to the woman he has spent the last 7 years of his life with. My sister-in-law is a wonderful woman and I am more than happy for the two of them. Well, my mother being the venomous demon she is decided that one of the most important days in her oldest child's life MUST be made about her in some way. She showed up in an incredibly frilly white bridal dress. Her dress was much more of a bridal dress than the brides that day as well. She was the talk of the whole event, for all the wrong reasons I mind you.
My brother didn't even know if she would show up after a previous meltdown of hers, but he didn't even know what to do when he walked down the aisle to see her sitting in the front row. My SIL looked livid as well when she saw her.
At the lunch afterward, things only got worse and I knew my mother was going to ruin this day. So, I decided to take one for the team. We were served glasses of red wine at lunch, and I asked for mine to be filled to the brim. I walked over to where my mother was sitting and "tripped," dousing her perfect white dress.
I nearly got on my knees groveling to apologize and she missed the lunch and much of the first half of the reception driving back home (4 hour round trip) to change into the dress my brother had originally bought for her. Lucky for me, no one cared but my mother. The maid of honor even ended up slipping me a text right after the scene telling me that I deserve an Oscar for my performance.
I didn't plan on coming on the internet to brag about destroying a bridal dress and causing a scene at my brother's wedding. But I just received a bottle of red wine from my SIL with a card saying "Enjoy the best bottle of wine I could find, for the best wedding gift you could have given us."
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You're my fucking hero! Salute to you 🥂 on putting your mom in her place. Has she been nasty to you about the "accident"?
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Every time I watch a YouTube video there's 1-2 ads about mike bloomberg, It's so fucking annoying. I'm not gonna vote for an old white billionaire from new york if my only source of information about him are YouTube ads that paint him in a positive light, financed by his campaign. It's a political echo chamber.
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Watch a few videos on mattress buying. I haven’t seen anything but a mattress ad in fucking weeks.
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Working at a hospital in a Midwestern US town. Had more COVID patients last night than I've seen since last spring. Black means air on x-rays and I saw multiple 30-somethings whose lungs were nearly solid white. They were in critical condition...those who weren't talking about how cold they were, on ventilators & couldn't talk at all. Just a few years older than me and still dying from this shit that people say isn't real. I SEE their lungs. I take the FUCKING PICTURES goddammit. I've watched some of them die. The vaccines might be out & helping but this shit is making a resurgence. Get your fucking shots, I don't want to x-ray your lungs and see this...nobody should ever see this. Even the fucking radiologists tell me it's different from pneumonia, it's a completely new phenomenon. This is some scary shit. I'm so fucking traumatized and I'm not even the nurse who holds their hand on their way out of this world. I have no congruent words, I am just crying. This was all such fucking bullshit. Please stay safe.....fuck.
Edit: For clarification, these were mostly patients with persistent and/or worsening symptoms who had been admitted, though I have seen some just as awful during their first ER visit. Please only consult medical professionals for advice and not strangers on the internet. Thank you for all the encouragement.
Edit 2: No I will not be sharing any x-rays, that goes against hospital policy even when kept anonymous in accordance with privacy laws. This post was just something I needed to get off my chest. If you want to see what "COVID lung" looks like, you can literally type that in Google Images right now and see what I've seen half a dozen times per shift lately. To everyone else, thank you for sharing your stories as well. We really are in this together.
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Thank you for the work you do. Covid very nearly took my life away. One year ago today I was unconscious on a ventilator and it took so many people to get me to the place I am now. I am beyond thankful.
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I’d rather some anti- gay marriage boomer keep their job than have to interact with a violent criminal at the supermarket.
And if the violent criminals can’t stay non-violent without us going out of our way to reintegrate them, then they can stay in prison. I don’t give a shit about their second chance seeing as their victims never got one.
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I was a former State Corrections Officer in FL. I'm all about giving non violent offender's a second chance. Everyone fucks up.
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I need to vent
My son (B) is 12, in the 7th grade.
This week, one of his classmates passed away. She was only 12, and took her own life.
My son wasn't close with her, but knew her, and is upset. His best friend of many years, V (who is like a daughter to me) was close with her and is obviously crushed.
V asked me and my son to go with her to the funeral to support her. We of course immediately agreed. Her mom, on the other hand, said she "Didn't want to go", and chose to stay home.
I was livid with her, and told her how I felt. She said she "Wasn't sure she could handle going to a 12 year old's funeral" I told her I didn't *want* to go either. No one WANTS to go to the funeral of a 12 year old, but our children needed us, and sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do.
Yesterday was the funeral. Me and the 2 kids are standing outside, and one by one, their classmates are being dropped off.
Not one parent actually stayed with their child.
I ended up with 10 kids that were heartbroken and scared under my wing. For a lot of them, it was their first funeral. It was definitely the first time any of them had lost a classmate and friend.
My heart was already heavy that day, but it hurt SO much to know that those kids didn't have an adult to support them when they needed it the most.
Most of them didn't know me very well, a few met me for the first time that afternoon.
But I tried my very best to be there for them and support them. I got a lot of snot and tears on me while hugging. I handed out tissues. I got them water. I answered their questions. I validated their feelings.
I knew that nothing I did would fix it or make it all okay.
I was honestly heartbroken. I definitely cried along with the kids.. but I still did my very best to be there for them.
I am absolutely OUTRAGED with all of those parents for not being there with their children when they needed them. I cannot fathom dropping your kid off at their friend's funeral like you would for a school dance or a sleepover.
I typically don't judge parents, but in this case, I am.
Your kids needed you, and you dropped the ball at the WORST TIME!
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Thank you for being with so many vunersble young souls. You are the very best mom. I'm glad they had you to support them.
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I tried to warn a girl at my gym that had period stains on the back of her shorts and she went on a rant, saying that she was working out and omgggg and trying to make fun of me in front of everyone for "being weird". So I announced the entire gym that she was staining the equipment with her period blood and that she needed to wash and clean herself immediately. I have never seen her since. I know it was probably really petty, and I got a lot of shit from people for doing that, but honestly? Try being humble enough to listen before making a public scene. Fucking drama queens.
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wasn't there a post last week about someone who stopped being someone's friend because she free bled all over the gym and her defense was "but I wipe it up with a towel!"
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I’m still in shock. I’m heartbroken.
My gf and I have been dating for 4 years, we live together. During that time she has been obsessed with a very minor YouTube musician. He has a few videos with a couple million views, and a small following. During our entire relationship she has always claimed that he was her “exception”. I always assumed it was a joke, I’d fire right back with my celebrity crush.
Well he went on tour and played in the city near us at a small venue. She went with a coworker to see him. After the concert she didn’t come home that night or answer my texts, I assumed she slept over the coworkers since she lives closer to the venue.
She came home the next morning and didn’t talk about the concert much. I asked questions and got vague answers which was odd, I assumed she was tired. Later that day she broke the news to me. It was bizarre. She said it with a smile on her face as though I was going to be happy and excited for her. I am heartbroken. I was yelling, we were both crying. She said she didn’t know how I’d react, but she didn’t think it would be this extreme. She said I always knew he was her exception. I didn’t think she was serious.
I am currently staying in a motel and I don’t know what to do. I love her so much, but I cannot think about her without thinking about what she did. She has tainted my memory of her. I cannot help but think that clearly she does not love me unconditionally like she claims she does, because this is not love. Clearly I am not the one she is obsessing over, even though she is the one who I have always obsessed over. If I am not enough for her then I don’t know if I ever will be. And it clearly seems as though I am not enough for her. I am lost. I am hurt. I am alone.
EDIT: just wanted to thank everybody so much for the support. This blew up like I never imagined and the support that flew in was unbelievable. I’m hurt and still heartbroken, I don’t know if anything will heal this. But I was never expecting this amount of support. Thank you to everybody.
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This is also such a thin definition of celebrity, I feel like your gf picked someone she could actually potentially (and did) sleep with, when most people’s hall pass is, like, Ryan Gosling or Megan Fox. Sorry, dude.
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I was married for 14 years to a man who recently revealed he was gay. All these years were a fucking lie. He claims he was just too afraid of being "attacked" by bigots to come out of the closet. So his solution was to use me as a beard. My husband used me, and ended up cheating on me multiple times and I finally found out when I got an STD recently.
But everyone, my friends and family alike, are supporting him. People keep sending him cards, and calling him to say that they support him. One of our mutual friends told me I was being selfish and insensitive. She said, "Sure he cheated on you but that's only because he had no other choice. In this day and age, being gay is dangerous." Are you fucking kidding me? If this "day and age" is dangerous for gay people where tehy can never be safe if outed then when will they ever be safe? There will always be homophobes to deal with! Another friend said something similar to me over Facebook as well. Their sympathies and loyalties lie with HIM.
He is a father to our two children but he isn't even very good at that. He has always been distant towards our children, and he's confided in me that he wishes I'd had abortions. Our kids feel disappointed and hurt by our impending divorce but my husband refuses to take responsibility for anything, and is hiding at his new boyfriend's home. Actually, he's already planning a wedding with his boyfriend for Valentine's Day 2019...even though our divorce hasn't even been finalized.
I'm just angry. I'm currently single, all my friends ditched me because they side with him out of pity, my family keep telling me to "behave" for our kids' sakes... And even my therapist advised that I should be happy for him, and support him because "gay men need it most of all". What about me? What about the time I lost? What about the fact my entire marriage was a lie? How will I ever trust anyone again? What if my next husband does this to me? The thought makes me sick to my stomach and I am really stressed out. No one seems to care about how I feel...
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Get a new therapist and new friends. That’s bullshit. Yes, everyone should live their truth but not at the expense of others.
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