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9kjas5 | aita for breaking up with my girlfriend the way i did | i was my ex's first boyfriend. we had been together for 4 months or something close to it. i felt myself slowly falling out of love. she is a very kind and caring girl, but i just felt we were out of subjects to talk about 5 minutes after a conversation started. at one point she was the one that started texting and i w... | nta | eh, it’s borderline. i’m going to lean toward nta because, as others have said, your intentions were good, and you didn’t know any better. on the other hand, i did something very similar when i was new to dating and looking back i can say with 100% confidence that i was unambiguously an asshole even though i didn’t kn... | nta. you both learned a very valuable lesson. you don't lead people on in the future. her be more observant in a relationship. | 17 |
9kji5x | aita for getting mad at my boyfriend for helping his ex? | alright so a little background about the situation, my boyfriend has been talking to his ex about her mental health and kind of helping her deal with her problems which when he first told me i had no problems with and saw it as ok since i know how hard it is to be depressed and have no one to talk to, but the problem t... | nta | nta, he's not focusing on your internal issues but prioritising his ex. it seems like this ex doesn't have any other friends, is that why she's latched onto your boyfriend? if so, maybe compromise can be to get her some new friends? through a hobby she might like? | nta. he needs to let his ex find help from a professional or another trusted person. not him. | 11 |
9kkk5b | aita? step-father, his new girlfriend and my mental health/fertility issues | my step-dad has a new girlfriend, of about a month, who is a psychiatrist. i have never met her and just found out about her. i have been seeing a reproductive psychiatrist to get off some of my medications for various mental health issues because i am planning on trying to become pregnant soon ​ my step-dad men... | nta | nta. i think it would be wise to let him know how this affected you. i imagine he is coming from a place where he is feeling close to this woman and sharing intimate details of his life with her. as a parent he has failed to realise that he is not actually sharing details of his life, he is sharing details of your life... | nta i’m not a psychiatrist but i am a mental health professional. your dad was out of line but she should have told him that it’s not ethical for him to share that with her on your behalf too. | 3 |
9kovtn | aita for not wanting to call my mother every day? | i'm 20 years old and my mother calls me every day, usually on her way home from work, to talk about her day. i've been living out of home for 2 years (and before that at a boarding school since i was 13), and it's been a daily habit ever since to the point that she'll make a snide remark if we don't talk on the phone f... | nta | nta, its probably going to damage your relationship more bottling up annoyance every day. just talk to her like an adult. | nta but you gotta remember that for a big portion of her life she was used to having you around, and that she probably does miss you and wants to keep the connection alive. maybe try telling her that the frequency is too much for you but you would still like to talk, maybe take the initiative to call her every so often... | 9 |
9kp8l3 | aita for asking my "best friend" for money he owes me? | so last year in august me and my 2 best friends went to la to have a good time right. we were looking for cheap plane ticket and i found a pretty cheap one . so we decided i will buy all 3 tickets from the website i found it and they will pay me back. so friend a pays me back but friend b says he doesn't have job and ... | nta | nta, but you probably won't see that money, your friend is a mooch. | nta i don't think he really ever intended to pay you back with that history. | 74 |
9kq8cu | aita for not helping a guy push his car | for context i am a 16m that looks maybe just a little older, this happened last night near a gas station on a busy street. i was walking out of a 7/11 after using the bathroom and when i start crossing the parking lot to get to the side walk a man says "hey, my car ran out of gas, could you help me just push it over to... | nta | nta, you didn’t feel safe. | nta. no sane person would have berated you with insults for refusing to help them. normal people would say okay, never mind sorry and let you be on your way. he definitely may have had fucked up intentions but you’ll never know but what we do know is he’s mentally unstable and that’s enough of a reason to avoid him. | 27 |
9kt8j9 | aita for calling another girl pretty when my girlfriend asked? | i went to my cousins wedding the other day and i was telling my girlfriend how it was and that i enjoyed my time etc. she then asked me what the girl looked like as she was curious, so i said that i thought she was pretty. she didn’t like that answer, apparently it was disrespectful to her and very creepy that i called... | nta | nta. she's very insecure and needs to sort it out, maybe even therapy. she isn't the only pretty woman out there and of course you'll find other girls/women pretty sometimes. | nta. disrespectful? it would be more disrespectful to lie to her and say she looked ugly, would it not? | 30 |
9kv918 | aita for exploiting audible? | just a few minutes ago, i was ordering stuffs from audible. i had one credit left; being the broke college kid that i am, i was going to spend my final credit and cancel the service. while spending my credit, and messing around with my account, i accidentally broke the system while doing something(for morality's sake,... | yta | yta. just because you removed your card, doesn't mean they don't have it and won't file a charge against your account. good luck. | yta but who cares. i would've done the same thing | 6 |
9kxeu1 | aita if i feel secretly envious and sad about my good friend’s pregnancy? | backstory: i am 99% sure i’m infertile due to breast cancer treatment. i haven’t tried to get pregnant but i stored my eggs before treatment in case i ever wanted to. i’m 40. i don’t feel good about all of this, but it’s the way it is. one of my good friends told me she is having her second baby, and i was instantly h... | nta | nta i think being an asshole requires some form of action, you can’t control how you feel directly. try not to let it manifest in you unhealthily, but your feelings are valid. | nta. you had a life that you wanted altered because of something (cancer) that you can't control. i'm sorry that was taken from you. edit i can't work reddit sometimes. | 2 |
9kyonh | aita for slapping a kid? | okay, calm down, i’m not advocating violence here. and he was maybe 13 or 14, who knows. so here’s the story, i was waiting for a bus this evening on my way home from work, and there were maybe a group of 6 - 8 young boys at the bus stop just hanging out, and they started throwing sticks at me. and i know that they re... | nta | nta. start shit, get hit. | nta, at least you waited a while before doing anything. telling them off should have been enough, but being racist is not okay. again, nta. | 563 |
9l1rqi | aita: i asked a girl to stop hugging me and she cried | i’m pretty good friends with this girl, and in the library this morning she hugged me for a really long time, in front of girlfriend, and it was to the point where it made me uncomfortable and i said hey, get off me, and she started bawling her eyes out in the library, and i feel bad but i was also uncomfortable in the... | nta | you're nta, it's your body and your choice on who touches you and when. that said, apologize to her. sounds like something happened to make her really upset and she was looking for support. don't feel bad about what you did personally, but take the fall in order to be there for your friend. | nta. your body, your rules. | 102 |
9l3az3 | aita for having sex with a girl ( with consent ) | i met a girl in college because she was in my work group (groups of 2). we both started to get along really well and we used to meet in coffee places/college/libraries to work for the assignment. until one day that it was getting pretty late and since she lives pretty far i said this: "we can go to my place finish this... | nta | nta, if your side of the story is indeed your honest and accurate account of what happened. going by the facts here there was no alcohol or drugs involved and she invited you to sleep in the bed. she gave what a reasonable person would consider affirmative consent. when she said stop you stopped, which is exactly what ... | nta. you got consent before before you had sex, there was no alcohol involved(to our knowledge), and she was the one that suggested sleeping together. | 360 |
9l3dri | aita for asking my exgf to stop parking infront of my apartment. | my street is very close to my university, which is where my ex gf lives (on campus). her building has a parking lot but since it's on campus its like 600$ to park for a year there. my street (litterally right next to the parking lot) has free public parking, but the parking is directly across from my apartment. the nea... | nta | nta. she'll have to walk an extra few minutes, she'll live. | nta and sorry that you had to go through any abuse. though you have to be ready for her to say no because y’all ain’t in a relationship anymore and if she did abuse you she may not care for your concerns. | 13 |
9l4tht | wibta for cutting contact with a friend because he was being a nice guy™ to my friend? | this guy is/was my friend for 3 years, with 2018 being the fourth year, and we were very close and used to trust each other almost blindly. on january through march he was acting like a nice guy to my best gal friend, saying things that her two best friends (being me and another mutual friend, we'll call him dave) alwa... | nta | nta. using depression as an excuse to act like a sexual predatory makes him a terrible human being. cut all contact and move on. tell your friend to stay away from him too as this is well on its way to him spiking her drink, raping her, claiming he loves her and then stalking her. | nta you can feel bad for the guy, but that doesn't obligate you to be his friend. you should just tell him that you don't want to be friends anymore and wish him luck in the rest of his life. | 57 |
9l4yu9 | aita for getting upset at my wife and her friend who was staying with us and decorating at 11 pm? | so this happened about a month ago. her friend was in town with her 3 year old son because her dad had a health scare, and stayed with us because she didn't like her immediate family. my wife took the opportunity to go out shopping with her friend, while i stayed with our two 2-year old boys (fraternal twins), as she ... | nta | nta, i think asshole is kind of extreme but i think you could of handled it better. but honestly who doesn’t handle situations poorly once in awhile? i think the best thing to do is apologize to your wife and apologize to your wife’s friend for handling the situation poorly and move on. | nta who hammers at 11pm with sleeping children in the house? | 1 |
9l5ydn | aita for not picking up my high friend after telling him i won’t do it again? | my friend who is my age(16) smoked weed for the first time 2 weeks ago, he called me crying because he couldn’t drive because he was “faded” in his words. so i got dressed and picked him up and made sure to tell him i won’t do it again. he calls me today and asked me to get him because he smoked again and wants me to ... | nta | nta. but, it depends on how good of friends you are. at the end of the day, you did say you wouldn't do it again. | nta, he probably just needs to wait and hour and eat something before he's fine to drive. i mean that isn't always the case, if he had an edible or just smoked a ton while he was already high then yeah he's stuck. but if he has the ability to call you and bitch about it for an hour, then he should probably be fine, hug... | 13 |
9l6bzv | aita for cutting a person off that has severe depression. | to start, i have no problems with this person and i do hope he gets better. i’m 20 years old, this will matter in terms of the context of the story. i have a friend who i will call brett. brett is my age and we went to high school together. he was always a really smart and creative kid and i thought he would be doing ... | nta | nta. depression sucks and its great you stuck with him through phases where he wasnt making good choices. but you are not reaponsible for him. you cant make him change if he doesnt want to, and it sounds like he is toxic. hopefully he gets treatment that helps him, and perhaps he will talk to you and be a better friend... | nta. not to sound mean but sometimes you have to cut people like that loose. i'm 30 now but during my late teens and early twenties i was friends with this guy, let's call him tim. tim was a little older than the rest of my friends, two or three years and i met him through his younger brother. tim and i were good frie... | 19 |
9l7gw7 | aita for making fun of a transgender? | so there is someone who goes to my school who is really annoying and just this year he (thats what he wants to identify as now) switched gender to a male. this desision seemed to have come so out of left field that i kind of feel he won't stay a male and switch back because of how sudden it is so me and my friends have... | yta | yta. you may not be transphobic, but making fun of someone, no matter how ridiculous, for being trans can still be interpreted as transphobic and is still just not something you should do. | yta. also. “transgender” isn’t a noun, so don’t go around around calling people “transgenders.” say transgender person or trans guy or something where you use it as an adjective. same way you would/ should use other descriptors, like gay, black, short, etc. | 10 |
9l8l1j | aita for requesting that my housemate not file an insurance claim after i scratched his car? | i am a college student living in a house with five other guys. a few days ago, while trying to turn around in the small parking lot behind our house, i backed into my housemate's car, and left a scratch/scrape on the paint. i told him as soon as i could, apologized, and offered to pay for the damages in full. he respon... | nta | your housemate is psychotic, your parents are right, and you’re nta by a fucking long shot. holy shit, i’d straight up never talk to that guy again out of fear. what a shitty, irrational way to respond to such an easy fix. i’m so, so curious: what car does he drive, if you don’t mind telling us? | if you're going to pay for it out of pocket literally no one is better off by going through insurance and it's not fraud by any stretch of the imagination. nta | 16 |
9lcms5 | aita for pouring my drink over this chicks head for continually asking how big my dick was? | ill keep it short and sweet. was at a party at a friends house who had other mutual friends who invited their friends who invited their friends etc etc until we had a full house/yard of like 20% friends 80% other college kids. anyways, this girl decided she would latch onto me for the night and kept asking some reall... | nta | nta. that's sexual harassment. if you were a woman and she a man, had he asked your breast size or the biggest dick you can take, and you asked him to stop, and proceeded to dump your beer on his head you'd be perfectly justified. | at first i was gonna call you an asshole, then i realized if i guy was latching onto a girl asking these types of questions the girl would 100% do the same thing and would be considered a hero. nta. | 1,141 |
9lfesz | aita for reporting my neighbor to the hoa for smoking weed? | tl;dr at the bottom. ok, so there's a bit more information to the situation than i could fit into the title. essentially, i reported her (my neighbor) to my landlord who then reported her to the hoa, both for smoking cigarettes and for smoking weed. here's the situation... my wife and i recently moved within the area.... | nta | i say nta. you’ve outlined very good reasons for her to stop or use an alternate form of thc: this could jeopardize your job, this could endanger the health of your unborn child. she’s the asshole for the fact that you and the landlord have addressed this with her multiple times and she still hasn’t found an alternate ... | i'd say nta because even though i absolutely don't mind and personally think it should be legal, smoking weed is illegal in the state; you have a right to ask someone to stop something if it affects you, if said thing is illegal you have a right to report it. you tried to give the person an opportunity, they continued ... | 20 |
9lfzld | wibta if i left a (polite) note to my neighbor about his bass? | i absolutely hate confrontation and have had several attempts to be direct but polite (overly so) in the past backfire with roommates. i was also raised by a very confrontational parent so i'm a bit skittish to become anything remotely like that, but i am trying to learn how to be more assertive. ​ my neighbor b... | nta | if polite, nta. | nta. go to management/landlord. i don't think a note will do anything. also, if you say something and he does nothing, and you go to your landlord after the fact, he's going to know who told on him. | 4 |
9lgke2 | aita for calling a confused customer at home to make sure they were ok. | tldr at the end. so an elderly gentleman came into my department today to confirm that some floor mats i sold him were the correct ones for his vehicle. he said his wife didn’t like the color of the new ones. i told him that there were only two options and i would gladly refund them if he didn’t want them. after a lit... | nta | nta.. is this even a serious question or did you just want to tell the story? | nta. in future, you could make such a call on a pretext, and avoid revealing that you felt the guy might be having problems. “hello, mr. atric, i’m calling from customer service to make sure your visit to snoo toyota today met your needs. did you have any concerns after you left...?” | 0 |
9lgruw | aita for wishing my family was a little happier about my graduation? | on mobile, sorry if the formatting is bad. also this is long and rambling because i like to bottle up my emotions inside me and eat chocolate instead of discussing them in a healthy manner like an adult. i graduated from college this past may. my parents and my younger sister came to the ceremony where they hand out yo... | nta | nta. how you feel is understandable. i think you feel disappointed because you had expectations and compared your family’s actions to other families. but asian parents don’t tend to display that much emotion. so they may have been proud, but just didn’t express it. hey, at least you got a pat on the back and ice cream!... | nta, you're an asshole for not making the tlrd a short overview of the story. | 11 |
9lint5 | aita for trying to moderate subreddits where i am not yet given mod powers? | hey! sorry if this is an usual post. i have recently become more involved with the church of the latter day saints and have been focusing my life more around the words of jesus as described in the king james bible. my life has completely turned around since i found my faith. i am exercising more often, smiling in my da... | yta | yta. all your comments have over -10 downvotes. take a guess, no one likes you. just from reading all your comments, it’s easy to tell you’re a troll. | yta and still are by spamming religion. schitizoaffective isn't cures my jesus, you're not thinking or acting rationally. leg broken? you'd get a cast. brain broken? go to the doctor. | 8 |
9llg3b | aita for lying about being a volunteer firefighter to a smoker who littered there cigarette? | i'll keep it short. just saw this guy chuck a lit cigarette on the ground out of his car right near some propane tanks, only 7 or 8 feet from an actual cigarette disposal. something came over me and i walked over, stomped it, picked it up and said "volunteer firefighter, take it easy." he apologized profusely and rolle... | nta | i think the only person here who is an asshole is the dumbfuck who threw a lit cigarette butt that close to propane. i mean, yeah it's not good to lie and all that, but you had good intentions. so i'm gonna stick with nta | i'm gonna say nta. you had good intentions, good results, and didn't hurt anyone. cultural appropriation is a thing, but not towards volunteer firefighters haha. | 565 |
9lq8cp | aita for wearing kid's clothes? | this probably sounds stupid but bear with me. i'm 19 and love kids clothes because they're cheap and cute. my smallest article of clothing is a coat aged 5-6 i wore at a formal event but most clothes are 10-11. i also have adult clothing as well. my mum hates the fact i buy kids clothes because she says it's creepy for... | nta | nta.. i tell you who are assholes.. brands that mark up prices for women's clothes just because they are for women. fight the powah! | nta. i wear kids clothes all the time. nothing wrong with that at all. | 25 |
9lqwpq | aita in this weird sexual encounter? | i've been dating this girl for a month, a few days ago we had sex for the second time, it went a little weird. i'm not that experienced but we were doing missionary and then she told me to fuck her from the back. i don't know if 'from the back' is a slang in english for anal sex, but it is in spanish, so i thought she ... | nta | nta. miscommunication happens and though you totally should have clarified (and learn from this situation) she 100% should have spoken up the moment she was uncomfortable with anything that was happening. you have fucked up majorly here however and all her reacting is appropriate too. | nta but really, really bad at sex if you didn’t notice for a couple minutes that she was not enjoying it, or happy, or saying anything at all. | 215 |
9lr7io | aita for getting annoyed when people tell me i look sad? | i have a serious case of resting i-want-to-die face. its like resting bitch face but it looks like i'm just upset. and my friends constantly tell me i look sad, and to cheer up. they know well that it's just my resting face, but they still decide to mention it every time we meet. every single fucking time. "why do you ... | nta | nta - fellow resting i-want-to-die-face here. the fact that they are your friends and know that you look upset even when you aren’t, means they shouldn’t keep bringing it up. i’ve dealt with this my entire life, and after i get to know someone, they better stop asking me “what’s wrong,” and “are you okay,” multiple tim... | nta whenever someone tells me that i always go “ so what’d you think the best possible outcome from you telling me that is?” and then they just kinda don’t know what to say and fuck off. works well for me. | 239 |
9lrnnq | aita for not being social enough? or is she, for trying to make me feel bad about it? | hello, this is my first reddit post, so hope i'm doing this right..: **tldr;** essentially a friend accuses me of dropping in and out of her life and not contributing enough to a "one sided relationship," and seems to use that as a basis for a slew of insults. i just think i am not as social as she is, and her insults ... | nta | nta but maybe if there’s an offset dynamic and either of you are unhappy you should consider ending the relationship. | well first i’ll just be honest i didn’t read all the texts. i skimmed a bit through most but the text is so tiny and hard to read on my phone. i personally think you’re nta. i’m the same way honestly with my friends except for one. actually a year or two with my closest friend, i felt the friendship was one sided beca... | 2 |
9lt6zv | aita for saying this is disgusting? | i’m staying with my parents and while there our family dog had diarrhea on the downstairs carpet. my mom used a cleaning toothbrush, rinsing it in a salad bowl of water and vinegar, to brush the material out of the carpet while i helped by wiping with paper towel. this left a brownish, shitty, vinegary liquid in the bo... | nta | nta. that is gross. but to be fair, i think if it were me id have tossed the toothbrush and cleaned the bowl with bleach and then put it in the dishwasher. i mean, the bleach would kill anything and thats generally how i clean incredibly gross dishes (like tupperware i caught a bug in ir something) | bowl is clean, it was sanitized with a vinegar and washed etc. but i would also give the same reaction so nta | 404 |
9lv03c | aita for leaving the toilet seat up in my ex girlfriend's house? | i know this probably wasn't a big factor in her breaking up with me, but since we split up, i've been thinking a lot about about all of the little things which might have caused her to resent me. let's say we poo 2 times a day and wee 7 times a day. that's 9 toilet visits in total. for a man, the seat needs to be up w... | yta | yta. i never should have any reason to have to touch the toilet seat. i’m not the one who needs it up, ever, so why should i be touching it? | yta. look at yourself. you’re trying to use probabilities to justify not participating in a pretty common social courtesy. you’re definitely overthinking this. | 9 |
9lw4l8 | aita for quitting my job? | i started teaching english at an academy on mondays and wednesdays. they hadn't warned me completely what it was about and i wasn't given a lot of info regarding what i had to do. i had 13 3rd graders to teach and follow a schedule that the company sent me a day before the first lesson. i started last monday, was supe... | yta | yta. a two week notice would have been expected in any job. giving them less than 3 business days to find a replacement isn't professional, even if you hated the job. | yta. the "correct" thing to do is to give them a 2 weeks notice(if you're american at least i'm not sure about other countries) | 18 |
9m0cfh | wibta for getting angry at my best friend? | my best friend of 6 years made a team for a video game last week. he invited two of our friends and one person that he doesn't know that well. yesterday he put me on team but didn't put it on the official yet. all of sudden one questionable person puts one of his friend on the team. teams last for entire season (2 mont... | nta | nta. he should have communicated more clearly. i’m surprised your not more angry with the team lead than your friend. | nta you reached out several times to try and rectify the situation/get clarity and they left you on read. | 29 |
9m1ftx | aita because i don’t want to hang out with my friends when they go on double dates | i’m the only single gal in my group of friends, and they like to go on group dates pretty often. i’m cool going from time to time but they like to include their partners just about every time we get together, which leaves me feeling left out and reminded i’m lonely af lol. i’ve told them multiple times how i feel and t... | nta | i'm thinking nta. however it would help to know what kind of group dates these are. are they more traditional date scenes, or things that could easily be group hangouts? also, you're nta for feeling this way, but remember that you can always just say no! it's a bit rude of them to keep inviting you to these things, but... | i’m thinking nta or nah. your feelings are genuine. i think your friends sincerely want you around and that’s nice. it’s always better to be included rather than excluded. maybe suggest a girls only night out a few times a month. this way you’d get the best of both worlds. | 28 |
9m1gfn | aita for not remaining friends with the girl who dumped me? | throwaway, because my friend group all know my reddit account (this will make sense later). i've been dating a girl i've been friends with since my junior year of high school. we've maintained the same group of mutual friends since then (we are all seniors in college now). we're all pretty tight knit. however, she dum... | nta | nta. that being said, i think that there are ways that you can still hang out with your friends without making her feel ousted. i’d talk to your friends seriously about it and explain how you feel before getting upset. | nta. why would you want to be friends with an ex? especially if you still have feelings. sounds like you are more mature. the friend group will work itself out. people have probably already taken sides. | 11 |
9m1ihv | aita for calling the cops and reporting welfar fraud on my neighbors | normally i let people do them and i do me and mind my own. i help out when i can but if some one isn't hurting some one or hurting me i mind my own. we are moving a town over and overlapped leases 1 month so it's not so stressful with already hectic schedules. while my neighbors are selling a house the own across the s... | nta | nta while your motives are far from pure ultimately if they break the law the consequences are on them. | nta. if they're not doing anything wrong, welfare-wise, they will not have consequences. if they are committing fraud, they deserve what they get because they and people like them are why other people who need welfare for good reasons have to fight to get it. | 553 |
9m1w76 | aita for getting mad at my ex girlfriend after she broke up with me? | my ex girlfriend and i dated for about a month and everything seemed to be going very well. she was a bit hesitant about long term commitment but she didn't say much about it, so i thought nothing of it. one day i get back from a competition and i'm hanging out by myself when i get a text from her. she said she needed ... | yta | yta. people are allowed to be happy. if that means leaving someone you weren't together with for very long then that's just how it is. being rude and angry with her for what sounds like a very extended period of time isn't going to make her open her eyes and realize she's actually in love with you and want to get back ... | yta. you're allowed to get mad and be mad, but you acted on it poorly. breaking up is a one person decision, and there doesn't need to be a reason why, and if there is a reason, she doesn't have to tell you. what if it's your teeth, or your mom, something that you can't change and it would just make you feel bad? what ... | 12 |
9m2m9k | wibta if i let the public know of my roommate’s surprise protest? | angered by the decision on kavanaugh, my roommate has decided to hold a road block protest on monday. she wants it to stay hush hush because she wants to outrage and inconvenience people (her words, not mine). she wants people to see the protest and become aware instead of ignoring it. she told me this, hoping i’d joi... | nta | well.. it seems your friend is quite the dumb one. it's one thing to inconvenience people to notice your signs etc. but just ask her, what if some maniac decide to just push through the road probably injuring the group of friends she has decided to recruit. wouldn't she feel guilty? you're nta. and i'd still go ahead w... | nta, if it gets any bigger, it wouldn't hurt to call, she has a right to protest and you would be doing a favour for the cops she sounds like a miserable person. how did a handful of people driving to work have anything to do with kavanaugh. fuck, go protest somewhere else that will be more relevant. | 8 |
9m9bqy | aita for not wanting a haircut. | this became a focal point of an arguement between my girlfriend and myself a little bit ago. my (24m) hair is a little longer than what my girlfriend (27f) seems to like. currently it is about 2 or 3 inches off of my shoulders and is starting to curl at the tips. i've had my hair long like this for years but my girlfri... | nta | nope. nta. it is your hair, your body, your choice. her preference is just that: her preference. | nta, she asked you to try something. you tried it and didn't like the result. that's a good back and forth in a good relationship. now she is pushing it too far by claiming some kind of right over your choices. that's a warning sign. | 5 |
9m9rhe | aita for telling my girlfriend to take care od basic hygine? | my girlfriend has mental disorders and, because of them, finds it hard to take care of basic hygiene. things like brushing her teeth, taking a shower, taking meds, and doing physical therapy stretches for her multiple stress injuries. recently, each time i ask "hey! did you take your meds and brush your teeth?" or say ... | nta | nta. i can’t imagine having to deal with somebody like that, that’s just plain gross. | nta. but you are being her mom. why are you with this person? gtfo | 14 |
9mcpx8 | aita for asking the sister of an autistic girl who had been scream-singing for ~40 minutes if they could quiet down | full disclosure: i think i might be and please don't sugar coat if i am. this happened like two months ago but i'm still conflicted. i'm a college student. about two rooms down is this girl and she had *someone* over in her room. this someone was singing and yelling and talking loudly. i had my first round of exams for... | nta | holy shit, this is so infuriating. you asked in a respectable manner. just because somebody is mentally disabled, doesn't mean everybody else around them is obligated to not be fucking bothered at all. like goddamn dude, if you're going to go off on somebody for being rude to mentally disabled people, do it when it's a... | im autistic and nta autistic people need to be directly told to do something, not giving hints or dancing around the topic. if we are doing something wrong tell us to stop, please. | 4 |
9mfca2 | wibta for not scanning people into my dorm's elevator? | little background: my university has pretty strict keycard-only access to elevators that access dorm wings. only residents of that building can access its dorm wings. you have to scan and then immediately select your floor, and the selection privileges time out after a few seconds. the university mentions that these s... | nta | nta, it only takes one slip up to let the wrong person get up the elevator. and if the police have to investigate a burglary, and they see you’re the one who let the thief up the elevator on a security camera, you’re going to feel like a genuine asshole. security measures exist for a reason and often are only compromis... | nta!! i'm an ra in my dorm building and i wish we had scanner access on our elevator (old building with old systems). strange people in our building is scary, there have been too many incidents in the past on other campuses that make me extremely wary of anyone in my dorms that shouldn't be there. i wish you were one ... | 191 |
9mfk58 | aita for being mad at my sister/assuming she was malicious | i've never gotten along well with my sister. i find her to be a selfish and needlessly reactive/sensitive (she gets mad at me and our mum if she thinks we are being rude even if we are nice, she once called me a c*nt for telling her i liked her top). last time i was home visiting my parents i went looking for some of m... | nta | nta. she needs a change of behavior, and it's clearly her fault that the perfume went missing. i don't like to say this often about people because they have their reasons, but your sister really does overreact to little things. | nta, i'm sorry you have to deal with such a toxic person. i wish you all the strength and courage to stand for what's yours. best luck! | 8 |
9mfo0o | wibta for chewing out an employee? | i'm using "chewing out" for lack of a better word. i'm thinking more of a stern talk and recommending discipline from upper management. a little history about this situation. i'm a journeyman electrician and have three apprentices working for me at a current project. being the highest rank at the jobsite, i'm given the... | nta | nta. if i were one of the two good guys, i would think you're an asshole if you didn't write this guy up. | nta. this guy is always going to be a problem. write him up and start documenting his tardiness. send him written communications detailing dates and times. tardiness can be actionable. so if you document it, you will have no problems if you want to fire him. | 8 |
9mg1mp | aita for someone else’s misunderstanding? | i was hanging out with a few friends yesterday, shooting the shit, nothing special. we get on the topic of money and i say “yeah i bet you spent 200$ on those glasses, you rockefeller.” laughs, blah blah blah. someone piped up,”i spent 70$ on my glasses.”. in response i call him a fatcat. i receive information later th... | nta | ehh, nta they should know fat cat isn't a weight-based insult. sounds like the guy wasn't even that noticeably heavy. | nta, but it’d be good on your part to apologize and clarify. maybe even link him to the use on urban dictionary or something. if he still holds a grudge after that, then that’s not your fault. | 3 |
9mh86x | aita after leaving a wedding reception | at the last two weddings my wife and i were at, we left before getting to say hi to the couple. at both weddings, we showed up early for the ceremony, waited for them to take photos afterwards, stayed through dinner, stayed through the cake cutting, stayed through the speeches, and stayed through the traditional first ... | nta | nta. they probably didn’t even notice. wedding days are a blur and the bride and groom have to do so many things. you saw the ceremony which is really the important part. | nta but personally i would try to at least give a quick congrats to the couple before i left | 2 |
9mimt2 | wibta if i demand my birthday money? | my parents gave me a sum of €150 for my birthday in may. they told me to spend it on the sport i play (gymnastics) to get the right accessories. but i never actually received the money. when i ask them (nicely ofcourse) to put it in my bank account, they either joke about it or redirect the topic. they usually tell me ... | nta | i would but sit down and explain to them that if they aren’t able to right now, you do understand. you just want to get a straight answer. nta for just wanting an answer. if you show maturity and understanding, they’ll be cool. | sounds like your mom and dad have some money issues that they don’t want you to worry about. nta for asking. be patient, especially if you really need it. they may get upset though if it’s bothering them. good luck in competition. | 575 |
9ml9aq | aita for wanting to be in my children’s lives even though i’m not out together very well right and i have a lot of issues with empathy and emotions? | i’ve posted a couple aita, and i was certainly the asshole. so how i have a really personal conundrum. i believe i feel love for my kids. i would truly do everything for them. but i’m not like other parents. i can be selfish and impatient and i don’t mean to be. i’m pretty young and i’m trying to get my life together. ... | nta | you are nta for wanting a relationship with your kids. but the kids come first. don't compare yourself to anyone else. do the best you can. give then all of your love. it'll be ok. | you are nta i never feel good enough for my kids. my husband has bi-polar, depression , add, he feels he is a terrible daddy. our kids adore him what matters is the time with them. love is spelled time. be with them, listen to them. just be there and that's what they need. i'd be home at about aome issues as you c... | 9 |
9mnsoo | aita for having sex with a girl who accepted my invitation to my place, enjoyed it and consented but now is saying i took advantage and her consent was not valid? | the girl (x) came to the bars to meet with my friend (n). this was around 11:30 or so. she wanted to smoke a cig with me and i could tell she wanted me because the whole time was touching me and flirting (she claims she was just holding on to me for balance as she was unable to stand on her own and she was not flirtin... | yta | “n called her 2 times during our sex and she was barely conscious” that says enough to me, you knew she wasn’t very aware and you said it yourself more times than this. yta | i think you're in the wrong here. if she wasn't completely aware/conscious the entire time you both were together, and she legitimately thought you were someone else, you shouldn't have had sex. yta. | 20 |
9mpsqt | aita for asking to not split the check evenly? | i had $14 worth of stuff and the check was just shy of $100 between the 3 of us (me,friend and his gf). when it came she said just out cards in and we'll have them split it 3 ways. i objected because i only had $14 worth of stuff. she didn't put up too much of a fight but gave me a nasty look and said something to my f... | nta | nta. the gf is for sure and you friend is a little as well for letting her try to do that. | nta. i hate when people try that shit. don't expect me to pay 1/3rd of the bill when i only generated 1/6th of it. | 2,329 |
9mrz4w | aita for wanting my college roommate to turn off his lights at night? | my college roommate has these neon string rings on his wall of our room. he's had them up since before i moved it. he insists that they be on at night even though our room is pretty small and they illuminate the whole room. i told him that i can't sleep with them on and i want them to be off by 9pm. i only sleep on cam... | nta | nta i would probably talk to your ra | nta. you factually sleep worse with light in the room. | 5 |
9muvqu | aita for being mad at my dad for outing me? | i'm a lesbian, and my immediate family is nothing but supportive. i'm very grateful for that. my extended family, however, is fairly iffy as they are ardent trump supporters living in the deep south. my dad informed me yesterday that he told the entire family on that side that i was a lesbian, and that they were suppor... | nta | nta. you have every right to be angry. outing someone against their will is fucked up, regardless of intention. that being said, i wouldn't be too harsh on him, as i agree he probably didn't do it to hurt you. | nta - if someone outs you, that's kinda fucked up. you're supposed to control when, where and who you tell. | 16 |
9mvjh7 | aita for going out with a friend group i actually enjoy instead of friends i used to hang out with? | so, i'm a high school student and we had a few free hours before school started due to a testing schedule. i have one group of friends (we'll call them group a) that i've been around for a while, but we've been drifting and i don't really share common interests with them anymore. i have another group (group b) that i g... | nta | nta. be around people who lift you up and make you feel good! plus, and im sorry to say this, you wont see 97% of kids you went to high school with a few years after graduation. hang on to people you like! | pretty much what everyone else on such posts would say. you're nta. just be you. you don't lime them, don't go and let them guilt trip you yo. i made the wrong decision of hanging with a bunch of jerks back in secondary school (singaporean here), regretted it, and moved on to get much better friends after graduation. | 10 |
9mvkia | aita for telling a girl that i was gonna ask another girl before her to homecoming? | i'm in highschool and i've never been to a dance. i asked a girl who i'm pretty good friends with if she was going but she said that another guy was going to ask her. i went and talked to this other girl who i didn't even think about asking until after this conversation but i basically told her i was thinking about ask... | nta | why did you tell her that? seriously. nta, per se, but an idiot move. | nta but i definitely agree with many other people who commented that you probably shouldn't have shared that info with her but you did. lol if you really like her and want to go with her, be a gentleman and apologize to her face, not in a text message. i get it's not really your generations thing to do but maybe she'll... | 4 |
9mw228 | aita for calling 911 on a friend for drunk driving? | i’ve officially been booted from my social circle and flamed by all my friends. we are all military families with young children and we have get togethers every weekend which includes booze. one of my friends will drive home, with her 4 month old in tow, drunk. she insists her house is too close to uber and refuses rid... | nta | 1000000000% nta, what the fuck is wrong with them? 15 minutes is far as fuck when drunk. there is an infant involved. jesus christ, uber isn't that expensive, neither is your drunken pride that you can endanger other people with your stupid fucking decisions. i would not host a single other event at your place if you r... | former marine here. you're nta and there's no "code" in the service that says you should cover for someone who's endangering the life of an infant, much less the innocent people on the road. the code your husband is talking about is young, dumb idiots mutually refusing to watch out for each other because it's too muc... | 12,410 |
9mxpfc | aita for not letting a pregnant lady on the train first (who was not visibly in distress or pregnant)? | awaiting the commuter train; the train door stops in front of me (commuter knowledge means i know roughly were it stops) so i step forward onto the train and turn around to find some women's friend who was standing next to me on the platform is screaming at me saying 'excuse me she's pregnant!' as if i'd done somethin... | nta | nta. my wife is currently preggo with twins and is nearing the end of the third trimester. anyone who sees her immediately thinks "omg, that poor woman". she gets offered seats, which she gratefully takes out of necessity. it's pretty obvious when a pregnant woman needs a seat, and if you can't notice it, she pro... | that’s not always the case though. i felt much worse in my first trimester than i did in my third. constant nausea and being sick meant i had zero energy and just standing was exhausting. don’t get me wrong, op is clearly nta here and the friend needs to calm down | 90 |
9mya95 | aita for not buying my brother fortnite skins | so recently i got employed and got a visa card which allows me to make online purchases. 30 minutes ago the “skull trooper” skin in fortnite came out and he wants it. he has none of his own money and doesn’t want to ask his parents- so he is trying to guilt me into buying it for him. i said no, and i think i pissed him... | nta | nta. you *could* be the asshole if he actually offered you the money in cash, but he didn't even do that. maybe offer that as an option if you want to smooth it over with him. even if he's being irrational, it could be that he just doesn't really understand how money works. so this could be a teachable moment as a big ... | nta you are doing him a favor | 24 |
9n0mpx | aita for being upset with my girlfriend? | throwaway account, because she knows my reddit. ​ so last night, me and my girlfriend are sitting on the couch watching some t.v, and when the commercials come on she jumps me and starts making out with me, trying to initiate sex. now, right now she has a u.t.i, and she is on her period so i said i didn't want t... | nta | she sounds quite hormonal and emotional, she could be feeling hormotional due to pmt. is she like this generally or only around her menses? you're nta anyway but she may just need a cuddle and some comfort. | nta. but damn dude. chill. uti's can make people act differently. | 163 |
9n1ig6 | aita for not treating a veteran any differently? | i was selling an item on the facebook market place. when i get this message, is this item still available and thanks in advance for helping a veteran. looking into his profile pictures it is evident they're a veteran. however, it immediately rubbed me the wrong way that they expect some kind of special treatment/discou... | nta | nta not at all. sort of takes the honor out of doing something when you constantly expect special treatment because of it, right? this is a passive way of saying "give me a deal because i served the country, i'm special" and honestly i wouldn't acknowledge he ever said it if you choose to sell him the item. | nta, my dad is a veteran and he says that anyone that uses "i'm a vet" as an excuse is an ass | 127 |
9n1jq4 | wibta if i punish my mother for embarrassing me in public? | 20m. i just returned from a solo backpacking trip, and because my flight came in at midnight, my mother offered to pick me up at the airport (although i could easily get a cab myself). that woman, however, has the bad habits of 1) being inappropriately loud (typical among chinese) and 2) calling me baby names, which i'... | yta | yta... > maybe i'll pour boiling water on her while she sleeps. wtf this could literally kill her. you're taking this to an ultra extreme. she's your mom, she's gonna be embarrassing, especially to a 20 year old. deal with it, that's life. ​ | yta. have fun in jail. | 0 |
9n2fso | aita for driving behind a car at night and flashing my brights until they moved to the right lane | i was driving on the interstate where the speed limit is 70mph. i usually go in the left lane around 80 and move if people are trying to pass me. last night it was pretty dark and there was a car going 65ish that would not move out of the left lane. i could have gone around but instead i rode up very close behind them ... | yta | i can think of several circumstances in which a person might reasonably choose the left lane while going under the speed limit. how were the road conditions? snowy or icy? usually one side of the road will be plowed or sanded better and i wouldn't blame a person for sticking to the safer side. was this a rural area? so... | yta, because aggressive driving practices get people killed. you yourself said that you could've gone around him, but instead you chose to ride his tail, a mindnumblingly stupid decision that easily could've led to a horrible car accident if he'd had to slam on his brakes. | 10 |
9n2kry | aita for leacing a broken religion? | all my life i grew up in a heavily centralized christian religion. it's leaders set strict rules and guidelines about how to live, with very little variation. i even served a mission for them for two years. while out there in the real world, trying to convert others, many told me tons of things about my church that i ... | nta | nta. i don't think anyone's ever an asshole for leaving an organization (of any kind) with which they do not align with core values/beliefs. it's better for everyone if they just leave, and you're fully within your rights to be outspoken about the problems that pushed you to make your decision. however, if you feel tha... | nta. i have attended several different churches (presbyterian, mormon, non-denominational, in-home bible study/worship to name a few) and left after discovering stark moral differences or blatant hypocrisy. i tried to leave on good terms, however i lost all but one friend out of dozens. the members of the church are co... | 20 |
9n2rvb | aita for cutting off a driver i was passing to avoid a head-on collision? | tl;dr this [gif](https://i.imgur.com/vprimvi.gifv) where i am the blue rectangle. i was driving home on a 55mph two-lane road going 60mph. i usually go 5 over because if you don't around here then you will usually get tailgated. the road i was driving on had a dashed yellow line which indicates that if it is safe you a... | yta | yta. if you'd just been a bit more patient and either driven behind the guy or waited until after the bend to pass, you'd have been fine. but by being so impatient, you endangered the oncoming traffic and put others at risk. what would have only cut 5 minutes max. off of your journey could have potentially killed someo... | nta. if you are going 10 miles under the speed limit only to try and speed up to prevent people from passing you yta. | 7 |
9n43xt | aita for not wanting to keep driving my friend and her boyfriend to lunch everyday? | context: me, a friend ("john"), another friend ("jane"), and jane's boyfriend ("bobby") all go to lunch together almost every day. all of us except for bobby work in two buildings that share a parking lot. our offices are about 6 miles away from bobby's, and bobby's office is another 5 miles away from the cafe we usual... | nta | nta. you should have been upfront with jane, or just refused to pick up bobby. but jane is the asshole and so is anne! | nta. you did tell her that the bf should meet you there. unloading on anne should have stayed with anne. now you can go with " i don't want to drive anymore" if they ever talk to you again. | 64 |
9n4fl2 | aita smoking weed in public | aita hi guys, i have a little dilemma. i like to smoke weed, however my landlord will evict me if i smoke at my place. so, my solution to this has been to smoke weed in public. i will usually roll up a joint and go walk around on the sidewalks smoking. the problem with this is that i live in a very quiet suburb, and ... | yta | yta. marijuana smoke is overwhelmingly awful to a lot of people. it gives me an instant migraine. i detest when people smoke in public. are mj edibles an option for you? that seems win-win, and it's better for your lungs. | yta. smoking in public is always an asshole move in my opinion. youre underage, but that doesnt make you an asshole for smoking it. it just means i can encourage you to wait till youre older. that stuff will mess with your development if you smoke it too young. but if youre gonna do it anyways, find a forest or somewhe... | 25 |
9n4rbv | aita for thinking this short film got famous because it's about gay people? | [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2rekk9scrn0](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2rekk9scrn0) this film blew up on youtube. you've probably seen it. i believe it was featured on kimmel. while it is a sweet film and well animated, there are tons of well animated films out there that don't get as much attention. this fil... | yta | yta. have you heard about media representation? it is a very large deal to people who arent straight white males. when people see themselves represented in media it helps form a sense of belonging and strengthens their identity. thats why teen stories are well recieved, because teens and people who remember their teens... | yta for assuming that marketing was the only reason it featured gay people. student films tend to be labors of love, and there’s always going to be some favored over others for reasons beyond ‘it looks good’. that reason is usually the message behind it. some of the gobelins animations get passed around social media wh... | 31 |
9n5thj | aita for tipping based on subtotal and not full total? | whenever i go out to eat, i tip based on the subtotal, so let's say my food was $20, tax is $5 (in this scenario) would i be the asshole if i tipped off $20 and not $25? | nta | nta, at least you're tipping. as someone who works as a server receiving tips, something is always better than nothing. but i mean, if you can afford it, tipping on the full amount is cool. | maybe i've been tipping incorrectly my whole life, but i always give 20%+ as a tip on the bill pre-tax. bill is $55 after a 10% tax? i tip $10, not $11. i've always been told you aren't supposed to tip on the tax, so nta. | 13 |
9n696x | aita for "joking" about alzheimer's | with in my group of friends we often say asshole things to each other. jokingly and all in good fun. this is know by everyone. in class we were doing a project on ancestry. the girl presenting was in our group of friends. she said "my grandfather has alzheimer's". i, being the idiot i am, said to her (after her presen... | nta | nta. honest mistake. | fuck man even if it isn’t a joke i find it hilarious and my grandmother has it, so you can’t be a bigger asshole than me. nta | 38 |
9n95iu | aita for changing my bully’s passcode? | today i was sitting in class when i saw the guy who has bullied me for the past 2 years type his passcode in. it was 123450 so i could easily remember it. when he was gone i changed it and now he is crying. i can’t help but feel bad for him but i know if i tell him what his new passcode is i’ll get beat up. i’m not sur... | yta | yta. being bullied doesn’t justify being a bully. | yta for sinking to his level. you went from "this person does shit to me for nothing i did" to "this person has a legitimate beef against me". i get the impulse, i do. i've been bullied too. you're not an asshole for wanting to do it. but acting on it makes you an asshole. | 6,410 |
9na1lq | aita : asking someone to turn down their music | this just happened and is the first time i've encountered anything like this. i am in college and was sitting in a semi-public space (in an academic building surrounded by classrooms, but not quite a library), when another guy sat down and put in his headphones. i have no problem with people listening to music, of cou... | nta | nta the other guy was though. if guy 1 turned down the music without argument then guy 2 should have never said anything. | nta. perfectly reasonable to ask someone to turn their music down in an academic environment. | 15 |
9naoqc | aita for cutting contact with a friend over her politics? | we’ve been close friends for almost 20 years. she’s always been a bit conservative and religious, while i was more center-left and secular. we don’t discuss politics or religion often, but when it’s happened we’ve always managed to do it calmly, with an open mind and respect for one another. we live a long distance apa... | nta | nta. people drift for multiple reasons. dont fake a friendship with someone you kinda cant stand. | nta. while i'm a firm believer that echo chambers are bad and you should try to learn from the views of others she was being a total asshole by mocking people, being dismissive of your feelings on the matter, etc. you are absolutely allowed to dissolve a friendship for any reason and this isn't about a difference in po... | 31 |
9ndzj8 | aita for avoiding my girlfriend when she has the flu. | the title basically says it. she got sick a few days ago and stayed home today. shes slept basically 14 hours a day and has done nothing except rest. she wants to come spend the night, i told her i'd rather not due to next week being a big week with midterms and also giving a lecture. point is i cant afford to lose mul... | nta | nta, but i think it's only natural for her to complain a little. if i said no to taking care of a sick so, i'd want them to be a little upset tbh lol | nta. but you might win back some brownie points if you dropped off some chicken soup and flowers on her doorstep and texted her about them after you left. | 28 |
9nebxh | wibta if i potentially got a friend's shop closed. | a little context. i bought the coffee shop i worked at a year ago. things have been going pretty well. i'm loving what i do. i have a friend that has always wanted to go into the coffee industry with me. i've never wanted to because i know how irresponsible and undependable he can be. a few weeks ago he opened his own ... | nta | nope..he’s running an unlicensed, illegal business. nta. | nta. you can report that to the health department anonymously. i would do it before his unlicensed and thus uninsured business gets sued by someone when they get bit by a dog or find mouse droppings on their pastry plate. | 26 |
9nfb03 | aita for calling out our school psychologist for being discriminatory against students | i work in a small elementary school as an english teacher. most of my colleagues are very conservative, but i didn't really mind their political views. however, recently we had a small meeting discussing some students, and the principal mentioned a male student (13) in regards to his way of speaking. i didn't immediate... | nta | nta. you did the right thing. is there a county school board or other governing body to which you could report your colleagues' behavior? | absolutely nta and if you work at a public school (assuming us) that psychologist should probably be reported. | 61 |
9nficc | aita for getting mad that my boyfriend is being reimbursed for something we both paid for and he's trying to keep all the money? | we went to a music festival a few months ago, and my boyfriend had about $200 worth of weed and a pipe confiscated. it threw him off for the whole weekend, and he immediately emailed corporate. they finally got back to him months later, and they said that they were going to credit the account that paid for the tickets ... | nta | nta! sounds like you’re dating an asshole. i wouldn’t have much trust in him ever doing the right thing after that... | nta. gtfo. he sounds like a selfish child. get your money then get out. | 4 |
9nfjqn | aita for pepper spraying an aggressive dog? | so i’m walking my dog in a neighborhood with a variety of dogs. german shepards, pitbulls, chihuahuas, etc there’s this one german shepard that’s always off the leash in the owner’s driveway. me and my pitty usually have no problem walking by him, but today was a different story. i don’t know what set him off , but t... | nta | nta it won’t kill the dog so no harm no foul | nta. you couldnt know if it was attacking you or not. shit day for the poor dog, but it aint your fault. | 19 |
9nhp4q | aita for having a bad gaydar? | a better way to ask this: aita for using heteronormative pronouns by default? i was mingling at a professional mixer and talking to a guy. he said he is trying to move across the country next year. i asked, "is it just you? girlfriend?" he replied, "boyfriend," in a gentle way, not being corrective or anything. i playe... | nta | nta. if this is something you want to address, you could just say ‘partner’ works for any scenario, including married/unmarried folks. | nta. i'm queer and have bad gaydar. it'd be nice if heteronormativity wasn't the default assumption, but it is, and you didn't do anything wrong. maybe ask "girlfriend? boyfriend?" next time. but don't sweat it. | 5 |
9nlf65 | aita for telling my sister i couldn’t loan her money because i’ve only got so much that has to go towards rent? | my sister asked to borrow $20-$40. no big deal. had to wait until i got paid this morning. check was smaller than i was expecting and i tell her sorry, can’t lend you money. i’ve only got so much and it has to go to my landlord. she says “you could’ve just said no. learn how to lie better and leave me alone” i sent her... | nta | nta. not sure how you could be. simple mistake, you showed proof you weren't lying. i can understand why she may have initially thought so, but after seeing proof (which is above and beyond anyway) she doesn't have a leg to stand on. | nta your sister is getting mad at you for not being capable of doing a kind sct for her. this is just r/choosingbeggars | 25 |
9nlh04 | aita for not feeling capable of listening to the details of my mothers childhood abuse? | pretty much what the title says. my mother was abused heavily as a child, this is something i am aware of, i would say i have been aware of it all through out my childhood/adulthood, but i did not have any graphic details (only generals). my mother has started sharing this with me and my sibling, and i find it upsettin... | nta | nta or is ok to tell her that hearing the details is difficult and you need time to process what she had already told you. ask that she wait before divulging more. in time you will probably find toy can deal with more information. it is overwhelming to learn about what a parent suffered. make sure to suggest alternati... | she should get a therapist. she really shouldn't lay all this on you and your instincts are right on, you are nta. also, she may not be working through it just because she's sharing--trauma has to be processed carefully and systematically, and just dumping details on family doesn't necessarily help. i would recommend s... | 15 |
9nlqhx | wibta if i reported my car as stolen after my brother took it? | basically my older brother has my car right now after telling him 100s of times he cant use it. i let him use it a few times because he doesnt have a car anymore but i stopped letting him drive after a while because: he never fills the tank like i ask him too (if you use my car you fill the tank, i make that deal with... | nta | nta. if he’s driving under influence, you might be saving someone’s life by ending this now. | definetly not the asshole, in the long run you would be doing your brother a favor and he is basically stealing your car so nta | 35 |
9nm3m3 | aita for a comment i made about 9/11? | this happened around 6 years ago. my english was a lot worse than now. so around 6 years ago me and my wife took a trip to new york. we had never been to u.s.a before (we are from serbia) and this was our first time. my english was very limited. anyways we were there for about a week, trying to do all the classic touri... | nta | nta. words are hard. words are harder if they're not your native words. | wait, so you knew the words "blew up" but couldn't say "where were the twin towers?" that seems strange. but that aside, language barriers are hard and faux pas happen all the time. nta. | 2 |
9nnu6q | aita for blocking the text/calls from my former boss? | i'll try to keep this short. i'm a business analyst who just had my last day at work today because i have accept a waaaaaay better position at a new company. the company i just left i was only there for 6 weeks. they were pretty much a mess; data integrity was terrible, reporting terrible, processes non-existent, etc. ... | nta | nta, but if she was otherwise kind and you don’t want to burn a bridge, it wouldn’t hurt to send a “it’ll make more sense going forward to direct your questions to xyz, as i’m no longer with the company.” -style text. but you’re not obligated. | nta. fuck the lot of em. sounds like a tin pot company and you’ve no reason to actually reply to anything like that. personally i wouldn’t have even offered (not because i’m a douche but it’s just not the done thing) and if i had, i would be surprised if someone actually took me up on the offer. shocking lack of profe... | 11 |
9novui | aita for losing a friend? | i am going to try to keep this short because personally i think it is petty, but it has been bothering me. ​ background: i had a pretty tight friend group in high school and we all stayed friends through college across the country and graduated 1.5 years ago. right after graduation everyone moved back home to lo... | nta | uhhhh, i’m gonna go nta and z probably needs to get the stick out of his ass lol. idk, i guess you came off as rude when trying to rationalize it logistically or whatever (that usually never helps). but you apologized and they were still annoyed?? feels like he just wants someone to blame for being excluded. i say, if... | nta in my opinion, it wasn't intentionally done and you apologized | 2 |
9nptrt | aita for going off on one of my classmates over a game? | it was last year, near the end of the school year when it happened. i finished all my work in class and decided to relax for the last few days in school with my friends. we hopped on and started playing when one of our classmates joined in, he was known for having a extremely problematic anger issue, and i had quarrels... | nta | nta you just defended yourself but ppl. will not understand that. | nta but you went too far with the your mom doesn’t love you | 2 |
9npzk3 | aita for headkicking my friend? | my friend is well aware that i practice mma. last night we were rewatching the conor/khabib fight and he asked if i wanted to fight with him, i told him the possibility of what could happen from fighting (cuts, bruises, concussions, etc.). after his persistence kept up to taking me in a fight (he’s a member of the nati... | yta | yta for aiming for his head. you could have forced him to surrender in many other ways, gotten him down lying in an armlock or similar. never go for the lethal strikes if you can win with less, when it’s all good fun. | yta. you kicked your friend in the head and gave him a concussion. that you were showing off only makes it worse | 3 |
9nqtbs | wibta if i quit my job because i don't want to work during the busiest time of the year due to lack of training (and some discontent towards my job)? | 2 months ago i started working at a retail store because i was currently job-hunting and wanted to do something productive with my extra freetime. i didn't know how long i intended to stay at the job and initially planned to put in my 2 weeks should any non-negotiable scheduling conflicts occur with my other pt jobs/re... | nta | nta. its a job. you are not required to live for it. | nta. you owe nothing to an employer. its common to feel empathy for your coworkers but if management is making bad choices and you have other sources of income for love of god get out before the holidays, retail is the worst. you need to do whats best for you. dont think about the store, staff change constantly in eve... | 0 |
9nrvu3 | aita for letting my boyfriend's dad change my car battery? | last month my car battery died and wouldn't even charge. i told my mom as i'm 17, don't have a job, and it's kinda her responsibility right now. everytime i asked she either didn't answer or kept switching up what her plan was. my mom also has a pattern of not taking care of things until it impacts her daily life. i ne... | nta | nta. being too independent is an interesting complaint. i think getting help is the right thing to do. you went to your main source who was too busy, so you moved on to plan b. that’s something a responsible adult would do. you can’t sit around and let a problem negatively effect your life. you had a problem and you fi... | nta your mom has serious issues. if my son or daughter would manage this on her own i would be proud. | 5 |
9nu2ca | aita for being irritated by my inlaws who are choosing my unvaccinated niece over my vaccinated children? | my children are both vaccinated and healthy. my sil and her husband have decided not to vaccinate their daughter. she has no issues that prevent her from being vaccinated. this is a matter of choice and “snake-oil medicine” that my sil thinks is quality care. i don’t resent my niece, however, her parents refusing to be... | nta | people like your sil are the same people who let their kids die over their belief not to give them access to all that modern medicine has to offer. nta your inlaws sound kinda toxic | it is your business. a few weeks ago my daughter came home from school with a letter that said a kid at her school had chicken pox. my child is vaccinated but that doesnt keep the chicken pox away 100%. theres something called breakthrough which is a less severe version of whatever the person has. so my daughter could'... | 7,098 |
9nu6qa | aita for getting angry at my close friend for not inviting me to her birthday party | i have known her for 3 years and we text multiple times a day. she had a party and did not invite me she invited close friends of mine but not me and she still expects me to give her a birthday gift. i did say "why the fuck did you do that you know that would hurt me" and "that really hurt" i am not sure if i am the a... | nta | nta! what a dick! | nta she still wants a gift wtf also why did she not invite you | 13 |
9nv321 | aita;i was calles "cis" by a member of the lgb community. i asked them to use my preferred pronoun- "normal" | i'm a straight male and i've recently been called "cis". i didn't like it. i asked the person that if they are going to label me then label me with a term i wish to be identified with. i asked them to use the word "normal". i can say that didn't go over well. aita? | yta | yta for employing "cis" must equal normal. "cis" is literally just the opposite of "trans". | yta using the term normal that escalated the situation. nta for calling out hypocrisy. as a bi lady, i found your response both hilarious and indecent, but i've been called out on my sense of humor many times. everyone is different, i probably would have laughed and called you normal until it became ridiculous. | 90 |
9nvr9a | aita for asking to split rent in accordance with income? | my husband has just got a new job where he'll be earning three times what i earn. i asked if he would split our expensive london rent 80:20 and he got angry and asked whether i would put my savings in both our names. i said no because it's my money from before we were together and part of it is an inheritance from my m... | yta | sounds like you want him to take care of you, but not have joined assets/any benefit for him. yta. have a mature conversation about your finances and goals. he’s offering to start putting cash away for a home, dude. | yta (sorry). i know it seems unfair, and you're a married couple so you would think he'd be eager to help you out. but that's not how it works. if he didn't agree to paying more rent then you don't really have an argument. it's his money and his life and he worked for it so.. couples do their best to make each other's ... | 7 |
9nxlo9 | aita for not paying his rent? | my husband doesn't work, because he chooses not to work. he's capable of working and has held six figure jobs in the past. he has an mba and tons of experience. about 4 years ago he quit working and i started paying all the bills. ok, so now you know the household dynamic. over the last 3/4 years he stopped taking his... | nta | absolutely do not listen to what your drug-addicted, manipulative husband thinks you will have to pay for him because he is drug-addicted and manipulative. he will tell you whatever he needs to in order for you to continue enabling him to use drugs and fuck other women with no consequences to himself. lawyer up and hav... | nta at all. i would recommend checking out al anon family groups in your area. you’ll find a lot of people who have gone through what you are going through, and can help you deal with it. living with an addict or alcoholic is really hard, and you don’t have to do it alone. | 26 |
9nxmk4 | aita for decking a gay guy who has been sexually harassing and touching me despite me telling him to stop? | i am a guy and i have my own store. lately this guy has been going to the food place next door and has started coming into my store. he was pretty chill at first despite him offering me money to go on dates with him. then he started getting seriously weird and creepy by trying to hug me, grab my ass and dick. appare... | nta | nta. being gay doesn't give you the right to assault people. | nta. you are perfectly reasonable to hit someone who wont stop touching and sexualizing you despite objections. | 8 |
9ny98u | aita for having sex with someone my friend likes? | a friend found out that i had sex with a girl he has feelings for. we have all known each other for a few years (all in our 20s) but they have no history that i know other then occasionally flirting. he never told me he was interested in her but it's sort of obvious to all of our friends. i don't think she is in to ... | nta | nta, and i think it's really unfair of your friend (and the people calling you the asshole in this thread) to make you think you did something wrong they have had a flirtatious relationship for **years** according to you, and he has never made a move, or even openly expressed his desire to date this girl. you should no... | nta. no one can reserve people for themselves. and people fall in love (or get horny), not a lot one can do. | 10 |
9nyr96 | aita for dumping my boyfriend over his porn genre choices? | throwaway since i have friends that are on reddit. my now ex boyfriend has some problems in the bedroom (getting off or staying hard) and i never thought too much of it. i have a lot of guy friends who says it’s normal and just happens and i accept this. (we’re all in our mid 20’s). i got some advice about putting porn... | nta | that shit is fucking weird, it’s only porn until you walk in on him and the dog. nta | nta. i would get weirded out. | 34 |
9nyt0f | aita for asking a pregnant woman if she had a boyfriend? | this happened at some point last year at my old job when i was 20, i do not have kids so maybe i’m just clueless. so i was working at a hair salon with multiple locations, my home location asked me to travel to another nearby location for a few days to cover shifts. i’ve met mostly everyone there aside from a newer gi... | nta | nta. you were just being casual but it must have struck a nerve. she is apparently defensive and sensitive about this topic. not your fault for not knowing beforehand. | when i read the title, i was ready to come in guns blazing to tell you you're an asshole. but... you were not prying and it wasn't related specifically to her pregnancy. so no. nta. | 9 |
9nzjzz | aita for being mad at my mom for posting a bunch of embarrassing stuff about me online? | i recently found out that my mom used to post things about me on parenting websites when i was growing up. it's not just normal everyday stuff, but really personal stuff about my behavior and my eating habits. last year i came out to her and she posted about that, too! the worst part is, her facebook profile is linked... | nta | nta. bet she'd not enjoy you airing all her dirty laundry to the world. | nta at all. you're right, that was a violation of your privacy, and i think that your mom should not have posted those things without asking for your permission. that bring said, don't overreact and get super mad at your mom. i suggest you to just politely ask her a few times to remove the posts. | 16 |
9o0t3g | aita for dumping my girlfriend after she let me know she's bisexual? | throwaway because paranoid. somewhat recently my girlfriend of several years informed me that she may be bisexual, and has evidently for some time had thoughts about whether or not she's completely 'straight'. for context, we're both only in our early 20's. i love her more than anything, but the thought that she may al... | yta | if you go through with this, yta. however, i don’t think your post is assholeish as much as misguided at the moment. a lot of people have these qualms with bisexuality, but think about it this way: you trusted her not to cheat before, even with guys who might have had physical traits you can’t offer. in a way i think ... | uh, she likes dick but you didn't break up with her because she might, someday, fantasize about another man. yta. | 5 |
9o10y2 | aita for not lending my father my car for two weeks | here are the facts: - he wants to borrow it for two weeks straight - he spontaneously decided to sell his car just today without warning - he is waiting for his "dream car" to be delivered during this time - i live alone on the other side of town, have to run my own errands - i use public transportation most of the tim... | nta | all the things that you could do, he could do, too. he can take transit. he can take an uber. he can get your mom to drive him to work before going herself (or vice-versa). he can rent a car for the two weeks he needs it. a day or weekend would be reasonable, but not multiple weeks. and i agree with others, get that t... | nta, it's practically your car, and it isn't right of him to have your car because he couldn't acquire some kind of transportation before he sold his car. but, perhaps you both could come to a compromise? | 12 |
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