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(Jeeves 15) Aunts Aren't Gentlemen | P. G. Wodehouse | [
"humor"
] | Chapter 1 | My attention was drawn to the spots on my chest when I was in my bath, singing, if I remember rightly, the Toreador song from the opera Carmen. They were pink in colour, rather like the first faint flush of dawn, and I viewed them with concern. I am not a fussy man, but I do object to being freckled like a pard, as I o... |
(Jeeves 15) Aunts Aren't Gentlemen | P. G. Wodehouse | [
"humor"
] | Chapter 2 | Whatever these bimbos were protesting about, it was obviously something they were taking to heart rather. By the time I had got into their midst not a few of them had decided that animal cries were insufficient to meet the case and were saying it with bottles and brickbats, and the police who were present in considerab... |
(Jeeves 15) Aunts Aren't Gentlemen | P. G. Wodehouse | [
"humor"
] | Chapter 3 | In spite of being held up by the protest march I was a bit early for my appointment, and was informed on arrival that the medicine man was tied up for the moment with another gentleman. I took a seat and was flitting idly through the pages of an Illustrated London News of the previous December when the door of E. Jimps... |
(Jeeves 15) Aunts Aren't Gentlemen | P. G. Wodehouse | [
"humor"
] | Chapter 4 | I left for Maiden Eggesford a couple of days later in the old two-seater. Jeeves had gone on ahead with the luggage and would be there to greet me on my arrival, no doubt all braced and refreshed from communing with his aunt.
It was in jocund mood that I set forth. There were rather more astigmatic loonies sharing the... |
(Jeeves 15) Aunts Aren't Gentlemen | P. G. Wodehouse | [
"humor"
] | Chapter 5 | I headed for the cottage, where I had left the car. By the time I got there I should have done three miles of foot-slogging and I proposed to give the leg muscles a bit of time off, and if E. Jimpson Murgatroyd didn't like it, let him eat cake.
I was particularly anxious to get together with Jeeves and hear what he ha... |
(Jeeves 15) Aunts Aren't Gentlemen | P. G. Wodehouse | [
"humor"
] | Chapter 6 | The afternoon had now hotted up to quite a marked extent, and what with a substantial lunch and several beakers of port I was more or less in the condition a python gets into after its mid-day meal. A certain drowsiness had stolen over me, so much so that twice in the course of my narrative the aged r. had felt compell... |
(Jeeves 15) Aunts Aren't Gentlemen | P. G. Wodehouse | [
"humor"
] | Chapter 7 | These parting remarks of O. Porter gave me, as may readily be imagined, considerable food for thought. There happened at the moment to be no passers-by, but if any passers had been by, they would have noticed that my brow was knitted and the eyes a bit glazed. This always happens when you are turning things over in you... |
(Jeeves 15) Aunts Aren't Gentlemen | P. G. Wodehouse | [
"humor"
] | Chapter 8 | I found him in the private bar having a gin and ginger ale. His face, never much to write home about, was rendered even less of a feast for the eye by a dark scowl. His spirits were plainly at their lowest ebb, as so often happens when Sundered Heart A is feeling that the odds against his clicking with Sundered Heart B... |
(Jeeves 15) Aunts Aren't Gentlemen | P. G. Wodehouse | [
"humor"
] | Chapter 9 | At five minutes to three on the following afternoon I had girded my loins and was preparing to iris out, when Vanessa Cook arrived. The sight of me appeared to displease her. She frowned as if I were something that didn't smell just right, and said:
'Haven't you gone yet?'
I considered this a shade brusque, even for ... |
(Jeeves 15) Aunts Aren't Gentlemen | P. G. Wodehouse | [
"humor"
] | Chapter 10 | You would have expected this to have drawn some comment from me such as 'Oh, my God!' or 'You'll be my What?', but I remained sotto voce and the silent tomb, my eyes bulging like those of the fellows I've heard Jeeves mention, who looked at each other with a wild surmise, silent upon a peak in Darien.
The thing had co... |
(Jeeves 15) Aunts Aren't Gentlemen | P. G. Wodehouse | [
"humor"
] | Chapter 11 | I am not, I think, an irascible man, particularly in my dealings with the gentler sex, but when every ruddy female you meet bellows 'Has he brought it yet?' at you, it does something to your aplomb. I gave her a look which I suppose no nephew should have given an aunt, and it was with no little asperity that I said:
'... |
(Jeeves 15) Aunts Aren't Gentlemen | P. G. Wodehouse | [
"humor"
] | Chapter 12 | The reason why the blood froze in my v. needs little explanation. The dullest eye could have perceived the delicacy of my position. With the cat practically vis-à-vis as you might say and Plank among those present, my predicament was that of a member of the criminal classes who has got away with the Maharajah's ruby an... |
(Jeeves 15) Aunts Aren't Gentlemen | P. G. Wodehouse | [
"humor"
] | Chapter 13 | One of the questions put to me when I won that Scripture Knowledge prize at my private school was, I recall, 'What do you know of the deaf adder?', and my grip on Holy Writ enabled me to reply correctly that it stopped its ears and would not hear the voice of the charmer, charm he never so wisely, and after my session ... |
(Jeeves 15) Aunts Aren't Gentlemen | P. G. Wodehouse | [
"humor"
] | Chapter 14 | As always when I tell him I'm engaged to be married, he betrayed no emotion, continuing to look as if he had been stuffed by a good taxidermist. It is not his place, he would say if you asked him, to go beyond the basic formalities on these occasions.
'Indeed, sir?' he said.
Usually this about covers it, and I don't ... |
(Jeeves 15) Aunts Aren't Gentlemen | P. G. Wodehouse | [
"humor"
] | Chapter 15 | She was accompanied by a dog of about the size of a young elephant, yellow in colour and with large ears sticking up, with whom I would willingly have fraternized, but after drinking in the delicious scent of my trouser legs for a brief moment it saw something out in the street which aroused its interest and left us.
... |
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