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Scene Description: South Park Elementary, day. The school bell rings. Some fourth graders chat in the hall as Wendy passes by: Clyde talking to Kenny and Kyle.
Clyde: Yeah, and it was called Man from Atlantis, and he had like, webbed fingers... [Stan rushes up to them and grabs Kyle by the coat]
Stan: Kyle, Kenny! I ha... |
Scene Description: The Marsh house, night. Some of the families are gathered there
Randy: Okay, is everyone ready to go?
Sheila: Oh, I'm so excited. I've always wanted to see Cirque du Cheville.
Sharon: Me too. We were lucky to get tickets. [calls out] Come on, boys! We're gonna be late. [the boys, dressed in their Sun... |
Scene: Bridge Officer's log, stardate 47611.2. Doctor Beverly Crusher reporting. We have rendezvoused with Counselor Troi's shuttlecraft. She has just returned from a three day class reunion on Starbase two three one.
Crusher: Send a message to Commander Data and inform him of our delay.
Rainer: Aye, sir.
Crusher: Dean... |
Hermes: Well, we're bankrupt in six, five...
Hermes: Four, three...
Hermes: Two, one. And we're out of business.
Farnsworth: Good news! We're back in business. We've been hired to deliver an envelope.
Leela: It's crunch time. Let's do this. It's for you, Professor.
Farnsworth: Great delivery, everyone. You're the fines... |
Scene Description: South Park, day. Now showing at the South Park Community Theatre. Fanfare begins with a drumroll, a spotlight hits its mark on stage and an announcer speaks
Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, give it up for JIMMY! [the curtains part and Jimmy walks forward wearing a tuxedo] Thank you! Wow. What a terri... |
Bill: Well, if the big man wants a new scoreboard, I don't wanna be the one to tell him no.
Reilly: No-one in the park is gonna be able to see it from there.
George: (through a mouthful of shrimp) Well, why don't we just put a monitor in his skybox?
Reilly: Hey George, the ocean called. They're running outta shrimp.
Ge... |
Quark: Why don't you tell your Uncle Quark all about it?
Dax: What are you talking about, Quark?
Quark: You're fifteen minutes late for your appointment in the holosuites, and by the look of that drink, you've been nursing it for a while. You got stood up, didn't you?
Dax: Well, if you must know, I'm waiting for Major ... |
Scene Description: South Park Elementary, day, Mrs. Garrison's classroom. Mr. Mackey is speaking to the class
Mr. Mackey: M'kay, kids, we have something very serious we need to discuss today, hm'kay? It appears that some kids in school are getting high by choking themselves. Some kids call it "The Choking Game", hm'kay... |
Joey Tribbiani: Hey Monica, why are we watchin' the business channel?
Monica Geller: 'Cause I was going by it the other day and I saw that there was a stock with my initials, MEG, on it and, well, sometimes I have to watch for two or three hours before it comes up again but when it does, it's pretty exciting.
Rachel Gr... |
Scene Description: South Park Elementary. The class bell rings and the children are rowdy.
Mr. Garrison: [entering] Settle down, children. I have some difficult news. This is going to make you all very sad. [the class is now seated] The school board is considering firing me as your teacher. There's a possibility that I... |
Dwight: ...back orders and you never called them.
Oscar: Can you believe this?
Erin: There's a dog in the car.
Oscar: You can't leave a dog in a parked car. [points to 'I'd rather be snowboarding' bumper sticker] Snowboarder, it figures.
Jim: Do Snowboarders hate animals?
Oscar: I bet this guy didn't leave his weed in ... |
Scene Description: South Park, night. A shot of a newspaper, the South Park Herald. Some headlines are: "Crime Rate Up," "No End In Sight!!" The camera zooms out to reveal the newspaper lying on the street, hanging over the curb. Dramatic music plays as a car zooms past the paper.
Cartman: [voice over] The city isn't w... |
Scene Description: Ichi Ban Karate, day. The boys are in a karate class geared towards kids. Their fathers sit behind the instructor, keeping themselves busy as the kids take lessons.
Class: Ichi!
Instructor: Ichi!
Class: Ichi!
Instructor: Ichi!
Class: Ichi!
Instructor: Ichi!
Class: Ichi!
Instructor: Ichi!
Class: Ichi!... |
Scene Description: At fudge factory for a field trip, A tour guide shows Mr. Garrison's class around the factory
Tour Guide: Our factory works 24/7 to produce candy, and we have over 500 employees. Here you can see where the cocoa is mixed with the sugar and milk.
Cartman: Wow, coo'... [snaps a picture] Chocolate rules... |
Scene Description: CNN Conference Room. Rick Santorum, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich and Ron Paul are standing behind their benches, debating. A loud applause is heard.
Mitt: I know the people are going to say, oh you should only practice it this way or that way.
Rick: I believe in capitalism too. I believe in capitalism ... |
Monica Geller: What you guys don't understand is, for us, kissing is as important as any part of it.
Joey Tribbiani: Yeah, right!...Y'serious?
Phoebe Buffay: Oh, yeah!
Rachel Green: Everything you need to know is in that first kiss.
Monica Geller: Absolutely.
Chandler Bing: Yeah, I think for us, kissing is pretty much ... |
Erin: The tea in Nepal is very hot.
Kevin: But the coffee in Peru is much hotter. [Erin buzzes him into the office]
Dwight: Last week I finally became permanent manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton. My first project: increase security. I got these doors from a jewelry store that had recently gone out of business. Now the... |
Scene Description: Tegridy Farms, day. The farm is decked out for Halloween. In the living room, Randy brings out more Halloween decorations. Sharon is working on her laptop, Stan is busy on his phone
Randy: [dances in with a Jack O'Lantern] It's the most wonderful time of the year. [puts it on the table] Well? You all... |
Scene Description: The forest outside South Park, day. The camera pans down from the trees and settles on the forest floor, on which Cartman appears, followed by Tweek. Cartman is dressed like a lumberjack, with flannel shirt, vest, and rope.
Cartman: All right, let's try over here. [points straight ahead. Jason appear... |
Scene Description: Tom's Rhinoplasty. A government agent speaks with Bannon.
Government agent: The political world is watching, Bannon. [gives Bannon a file] We need to make sure the president elect has a smooth transition.
Bannon: All indications are that his transition [flips a page] is going to be fine.
Surgeon: [wa... |
Scene: Captain's personal log, stardate 51247.5. It's been a week since our return to Deep Space Nine, but the mood of celebration continues. We're still at war, and the station's been designated Headquarters for the Ninth Fleet. That, plus our strategic position guarding the wormhole, makes DS Nine one of the most tem... |
Scene Description: Stan's house, night. The boys are in the kitchen sitting at the breakfast table anticipating something. Next to Kenny is a stack of plates
Stan: [impatiently tapping the table] Dude, where is she? We can't wait.
Kyle: God, this is gonna be sooo yummy.
Cartman: Stan, you said your mom was bringing Ken... |
John Dimaggio: Prepare for the stereophonic experience.
Bender: Aw, New New York City! Woooo! Woooo! Don' worry about it! Do the robot, baby!
Farnsworth: Oh, Lord! Hiking is always such a strain on the buttocks.
Fry: Shh! What was that sound?
Bender: It wasn't a bird's nest falling. That sounds like this. Aww, they're ... |
Karen: Hey.
Jim: Hey.
Karen: Who are you faxing so early in the morning?
Jim: Oh, umm... kinda hard to explain.
Jim: I don't have a ton of contact with the Scranton branch, but, before I left, I took a box of Dwight's stationery, so, from time to time, I send Dwight faxes. From himself. From the future. [reading fax] '... |
Paris: That's one planet that never showed up on the multiple choice exam.
Tuvok: Its gravimetric readings are similar to that of a collapsed dwarf star. It also resembles a quasar, in that it has a high rate of rotation, approximately fifty eight revolutions per minute.
Janeway: Shall we take a closer look?
Chakotay: ... |
Scene Description: Cartman's house, day. In his room, Cartman has Kyle's cousin, Kyle Schwartz, tally up his good and bad deeds to see where he will end up this year. Kyle Schwartz is seated at Cartman's desk with piles of paper to go through and an adding machine to keep it all current.
Kyle Schwartz: Ah-a-a-alright, ... |
George: Well... it's a magnificent stone.
Mr. Ross: They put it up this morning.
George: It's just a magnificent stone. (turns to Jerry) Jerry?
Mrs. Ross: George... we'll leave you alone with her.
George: What?
Mrs. Ross: I'm sure there are things you'd like to say.
George: No, I-I-I-I'm good. Really.
George: Jerry...
... |
Scene Description: A very blurry image appears onscreen, but it begins to sharpen ever so slowly... It's Cartman, thinking back over the season's events.
Cartman: I don't know where to start. First, it was all the school shootings, then these Wi-Fi scooters showed up, and now we know that ManBearPig is real and we coul... |
% A Night At The Improv. Jerry Receives Some Disturbing News From The Manager: The show has been delayed.
Jerry: You don't understand. I got this all timed out. I got another spot across town at 950, I'm not gonna be able to make it!
Kernis: I hear you, guy.
Jerry: And I'm doin' Letterman Monday. You know, I gotta work... |
Scene Description: Lunchtime at the South Park Elementary Cafeteria.
Cartman: [walks in] Hey, everyone? Excuse me! [the other kids start to turn towards him] Everybody, can I just have a second of your time, please? Everyone, listen up. [finally has everyone's attention] Listen everybody, I uh... I owe Kyle a big apolo... |
Emh: In the beginning there is darkness. The emptiness of a matrix waiting for the light. Then, a single photon flares into existence, then another, and soon thousands more. Optronic pathways connect, subroutines emerge from the chaos, and a holographic consciousness is born.
Emh: I awaken into this world fully program... |
Scene Description: South Park Elementary, day. The kids are in the hallway. Butters walks with Kenny, Stan and Kyle are at their lockers, and Cartman comes into view at the far end of the hallway
Cartman: YOU GUYS! Oh my God, you guys! [runs up to Butters, Kenny, Stan, and Kyle] You're never gonna guess what! [stands a... |
Leela: This place was a great choice. The food is amazing. And such generous portions.
Doug: You like the meal just wait until you try these after-dinner mints.
Leela: You know, Doug, most guys are put off by my eye. It's nice to finally meet someone who's open-minded. Ew!
Fry: What was wrong with your date last night?... |
Joey Tribbiani: Hey! You guys! You're not gonna believe this! I just got off the phone with my agent...
Phoebe Buffay: Oh my God! I'm sorry, too soon. You go.
Joey Tribbiani: Okay. I got nominated for my part on Days of Our Lives!
Monica Geller: Joey!
Phoebe Buffay: Good for you!
Monica Geller: Congratulations! Wow! I ... |
Scene Description: A scrapbook shot of Butters sleeping, with a poo mustache on his face.
Cartman: This picture I like to call "The Pierre". I invited Butters to stay the night, and while he was sleeping I made a mustache on his face with cat poo. Hahahahaha. [the caption reads "THE PIERRE 3/10/07." Cartman flips the p... |
Erin: Andy's coming back today! Andy's coming back today! Ha! Andy's coming back today. David Wallace sent him on an outward bound wilderness adventure for a whole month to make him more decisive and confident. He sent his own son too. And the counselors said they both grew up, big time.
Dwight: How was my summer? It w... |
Bashir: I thought you said you'd started straightening this place up.
O'Brien: You should've seen it before.
Bashir: Keiko's shuttle will be here before we know it. We should have left the holosuite hours ago.
O'Brien: What, and let the Jerries cross the channel? Never.
Bashir: It is sort of a shame to pack all this st... |
Fry: After centuries as a delivery boy, nothin' surprises me.
Zoidberg: You stink, loser.
Leela: Hey, Fry! Pizza goin' out. Come on!
Fry: Alright. I'll take the red rocket.
Fry: Hello? Pizza delivery for... D. Frosted Wang? Not another crank delivery! Why don't I read these things ahead of time?! One time was funny. Bu... |
[Setting: Tim Whatley's apartment]
Elaine: So.. Whatley's still Jewish, huh?
Jerry: Oh, sure. With out the parents, it's a breeze.
Tim: Hey! Happy Chanukah!
Jerry: Hey, Tim. Great party.
Tim: (Suggesting a kiss to Elaine) eh?
Elaine: (Shrugging it off) eh.
Tim: (Accepting) Oh. (Turns to George) Hey, George, thanks agai... |
Michael: [on Youtube video] There is nothing wrong, nor will there ever be wrong with any Sabre printers. Case closed. [phone rings, Michael picks it up] Michael Scott, as seen on TV.
Todd Packer: [high-pitched voice] I saw you on the news and I want to pinch your tiny wiener... [normal voice] It's Packer!
Michael: OH!... |
Asgardian Pa: This is the Asgardian refugee vessel Statesman. We are under assault, I repeat, we are under assault - The engines are dead, life support failing. Requesting aid from any vessel within range. We are 22 jump points out of Asgard. Our crew is made up of Asgardian families, we have very few soldiers here. Th... |
Riker: You're absolutely right, Doctor. Right now, I can't imagine ever hurting anybody.
Doctor: How do you feel about that person you used to be?
Riker: I feel terrible. But thanks to you, I'm doing much better now. And I'm confident that when I leave, I will be ready to take my place in society again.
Doctor: When do... |
Scene Description: The boys are camping near Stark's Pond. They've set up a campfire and are roasting marshmallows. Cartman plays a harmonica.
Cartman: You guys, listen to this song I just wrote. It's called, "I Hate You Guys": [plays four notes before each line] I hate you guys. You guys are assholes. Specially Kenny.... |
Caretaker: Not enough time! When he died, Voyager's best chance of getting home died with him, but he revealed one hopeful possibility.
Caretaker: There is another like me. She left hundreds of years ago, but she's out there, somewhere.
Tuvok: Open yourself to the impressions around you. The thoughts, the minds that ar... |
Man: New man coming!
Man 2: New prisoner.
Man: Get out of my way!
Man 2: There is a new man coming.
Man 3: Here he comes.
Man 2: Hurry up.
Man: New prisoner!
Man 2: Hey, something's coming.
Pit: Get out of my way.
Man: Kill him, kill him.
Kim: Tom.
Pit: Nobody touch him. He's mine.
Kim: Wait. This is a mistake. I don't... |
Sisko: This is the emblem of the Alliance for Global Unity. They call themselves the Circle.
O'Brien: What gives them the right to mess up our station?
Odo: They're an extremist faction who believe in Bajor for the Bajorans.
Sisko: I can't loan you a Starfleet runabout without knowing where you plan on taking it.
Kira:... |
Kira: Now remember, I want him treated like a visiting head of state. Full communications and computer access, any assistance he may need from the station's crew.
Dax: You should have told us know he was coming sooner. I think we have a red carpet in storage somewhere.
Kira: Dax, this is important. Tekeny Ghemor led th... |
Neelix: Computer, deactivate mess hall lights.
Neelix: Oh! You scared me.
Seven: That wasn't my intention.
Neelix: No, of course not. I guess I'm just a little jumpy, especially after what happened the last time.
Seven: That's why I'm here.
Neelix: Oh?
Seven: We'll be shutting down main power soon. The children's regen... |
Mac: Well, if we learned one thing today C.H.E.E.S.E. is that cheerleaders and high explosives don't mix.
C.H.E.E.S.E.: You can say that again Mac.
Mac: Well, I couldn't have done it without you buddy. You're a genius.
C.H.E.E.S.E.: Oh yeah? Well then how come I can't get my VCR to stop blinking 12:00?
Joey Tribbiani: ... |
Ross Geller: Hey, what's going on?
Chandler Bing: Hey.
Ross Geller: I found a note on my door, "Come to Monica's quick, bring champagne and a Three Musketeers bar."
Joey Tribbiani: Yeah I'll take that.
Ross Geller: What's up?
Chandler Bing: Monica and I are engaged.
Ross Geller: Oh my God. Congratulations.
Chandler Bin... |
Data: Captain. Doctor. I am honored by your presence, but may I suggest you attend the second concert.
Crusher: Why, Data?
Data: Ensign Ortiz will perform the violin part. My rendition will be less enjoyable.
Picard: Oh?
Data: Although I am technically proficient, according to my fellow performers, I lack soul.
Crusher... |
Scene Description: Cartman's house. A television is heard. The screen shows an Australian crocodile hunter narrating his adventures as a woman pilots his boat down a river.
Aussie: As we steer our boat down [the boys are on the sofa looking at TV], looking for these dangerous predators... Boy, there's a king croc right... |
Picard: Captain's log, stardate 44932.3 The Enterprise is preparing to enter the Mar Oscura, an unexplored dark matter nebula. Commander Data is modifying several new photon torpedoes for an experiment designed to elicit more information about this unusual phenomenon.
Data: The initial dispersal pattern should not be m... |
[Setting: Monk's Coffee shop]
Jerry: (To Elaine) Let me ask you a question.
Elaine: Mm-hm.
Jerry: You're a hostage, captured by terrorists-
Elaine: (Smiling, chewing) Who, me?
Jerry: You, anybody - whatever. You're in the little room, you're chained to the floor, you're there for a long time.. do you think they would e... |
Oscar: Oh, for God's sake. [notices Erin planking on parking lot curb]
Oscar: Planking is a very stupid and dangerous trend. Basically, you lie like a plank in weird places. That's it. Sometimes you get run over. Welcome to the Internet.
Erin: Planking is one of those things where, eh, you either get it or you don't. A... |
Odo: All right, these barstools will have to be removed.
Quark: Do you know how much they cost?
Odo: No, and I can't say I'm interested in learning. Station regulation twenty five sixty two, paragraph four. All furniture intended for use on the Promenade must not pose a danger to public safety.
Quark: What danger?
Odo:... |
Alsia: When my husband was alive, we ran the business together, and I managed to put away a bit of latinum every year just for myself. Now he's gone, well, I've got quite a little sum.
Martus: That's important.
Alsia: Well, to be honest, it's not enough. Not for the future. Not for the way I want to live out my retirem... |
Scene Description: Jefferson Lake Recreational Area, daytime. Stan and Cartman are in a very nice boat, playing around. Cartman stands up and shoots at imaginary opponents.
Stan: Dude, you are right, Cartman. Your uncle Roy has a sweet boat.
Cartman: Yeah. Isn't this fun? Just you and me hangin' out, Stan. No stupid Ky... |
Picard: Captain's log, stardate 47304.2. The Enterprise has arrived at Kesprytt Three in order to evaluate an unusual request on the part of the Kes for associate membership in the Federation.
Crusher: This morning she was fifteen minutes late. That's the third time this week. Jean-Luc, you don't have the slightest ide... |
Quark: Not now. Look!
Crowd: Dabo!
Crowd: Dabo!
Crowd: Dabo!
Mardah: You aren't leaving?
Okalar: Well.
Mardah: Come on. Aren't you feeling lucky?
Okalar: All right then. One more time. Let it ride.
Mardah: Karjinko. Sorry.
Okalar: Wait a minute there. My name is Okalar. What's yours?
Mardah: Busy.
Jake: You are evil.
M... |
Chandler Bing: Are you kidding me?! Joey. Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey!!
Joey Tribbiani: Joey. Joey. Joey. Joey! Joey!!
Chandler Bing: Oh. Oh, did-did-did I wake you?
Chandler Bing: Gunther, can I get another cup of coffee, please? So uh, what do you do when you're not working here?
Gunther: You... |
Crewwoman: Thank you.
Neelix: Oh, you look like a man who could use more coffee.
Kim: Keep it coming. I'm working on my monthly ops report. So much has happened in the last few weeks on this ship, I'm going to be up all night.
Neelix: This firenut blend should keep you eyes open.
Kim: Potent stuff! Thanks.
Chakotay: Ne... |
Scene Description: "Previously on South Park" Daytime. Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny are playing with their toy trucks and cars under a tree in the neighborhood park. The basketball court, slide, and grass are cleared of snow. Stan runs up to them'
Stan: You guys, you guys! Chef is going away. [the others look up at him]
Ky... |
Rachel Green: Coffee.
Joey Tribbiani: Thank you.
Rachel Green: Cappuccino.
Ross Geller: Grazie.
Rachel Green: And a nice hot cider for Monica.
Monica Geller: Aww, thank you. Uh Rach?
Rachel Green: Yeah?
Monica Geller: Why does my cinamon stick have an eraser?
Rachel Green: Oh! That's why. I'm sorry!
Woman: Chandler.
Ch... |
Jerry: (going through couch cushions) Where the hell did I put this?
Kramer: What are you looking for?
Jerry: The remote, the remote, I can't find the remote. Did I lost, I lost it. Did you take it? Did you put it some place?
Kramer: No, no, no.
Jerry: All right, what is this?
Kramer: (clueless) what is what?
Jerry: Al... |
Scene Description: Whistlin' Willy's, day. The boys are singing "Happy Birthday" to Stan. After that, Stan blows out the two Terrance and Phillip candles adorning the cake. Sharon takes a picture
Boys: Yay! [Liane sits next to Cartman with a camera of her own]
Cartman: Alright now, open presents! Open presents!
Butters... |
Dwight: Stop it!
Jim: Stop what?
Dwight: You're talking about me in Morse Code. Well, you know what? Joke's on you 'cause I know Morse Code. Ha!
Jim: [chuckles] Yeah. That's what we're doing. In our very limited free time and with our very limited budget, we went and got a nanny and then we went out and took a class on... |
Oscar: Here are our final actual costs for this year.
Michael: Mmm... okay.
Oscar: As you can see, we did pretty well, so...
Michael: Yes. Yes, I can see... that we did indeed. Why don't you explain this to me like I am an eight-year old.
Oscar: Alright, well this is the overall budget for this fiscal year along the x-... |
Michael: [sitting on the roof of the office building] Well, I'm moving to Colorado to start my new life with Holly. Just up here, getting used to the altitude.
Dwight: [walking up] Michael?
Michael: Yes?
Dwight: I've got a treat for you!
Michael: Ahh, thank you. Like a butler.
Dwight: Colorado specialty, Rocky Mountain... |
Michael: It's 4:30 in the morning. Do you know where your kids are? If you are Ryan's parents or Pam's parents or my parents, you do. They're gonna be in this van. With me. Who am I? Nothing to fear. I am just a 44 year old guy with a paper route.
Michael: [honking horn] Time to make the donuts. [laughs and drives away... |
Kevin: To me, the Sixers are a five seed tops.
Jim: I think they're going to the conference finals.
Kevin: No.
Jim: Bynum, obvious monster and the three point shooting, don't even-... [Jim bites his lip]
Jim: I bit my lip at lunch today.
Darryl: Sucks. Anyway, I just don't see it. The Knicks are tough.The Nets are toug... |
Quark: Now I know we're doomed.
Rom: Why, brother?
Quark: Rule of Acquisition two eighty six. When Morn leaves, it's all over.
Rom: There is no such rule.
Quark: There should be.
Rom: I know business is bad, but that's no reason
Quark: Bad? Bad? It's twenty-one hundred hours, the bar's open, there's a sale on synthehol... |
Picard: Captain's log, Stardate 43917.4 The Enterprise has been given the singular honor of hosting the first meeting between the Federation and a mysterious race known as the Legarans. We are in orbit around Vulcan, preparing to welcome aboard Federation Ambassador Sarek and his wife Perrin, who like his first wife, i... |
Woman: Can I have some service please? How long does it take? I've been waiting forever.
Man: Quark, this isn't what I wanted.
Odo: Having a bad day?
Quark: Like you care. Fizz, froth, flip, finial, foam and flare. What's going on at that table, anyway?
Odo: I take it there's a problem with your drink replicator?
Quark... |
Michael: Welcome children of the Scranton Industrial Park Community.
Kids: YAY!
Michael: Join your gangsta pumpkin on his palette truck of doom. Don't worry about a thing. Rest assured you will see me later. Bwah ha ha... [bumps into something] ... ha ha ha.
Jim: We are doing a haunted house this Halloween. Which is ac... |
Sisko: Anything yet?
O'Brien: She'll be here any minute. Running a little late.
Sisko: This is no way to start a relationship.
Bashir: Hi, Ezri.
Ezri: So, how's Odo?
Bashir: Oh, his body shows no signs of the changeling disease. I believe he's cured.
Ezri: Oh, that's great.
Bashir: Yes. In fact I'm going to diskharge h... |
Namon: Don't move.
Brone: What's this?
Namon: We found him in the trunks, a hundred footfalls past Grove Yellow.
Brone: Arms?
Namon: None, sir.
Brone: These colors?
Namon: We didn't ask.
Brone: He's no Krady beast, is he?
Namon: No, sir, but he doesn't bear Vori colors either.
Brone: Hmm. His glimpse is too tame to be ... |
Ezri: It's funny. Before yesterday, I'd never set foot on this station but it's as familiar to me as the back of my hand. Isn't that odd?
Ezri: You have no idea who I am, do you?
Ezri: I didn't think so. Thanks for listening anyway..
Ezri: I was killed here. I mean, Jadzia was.
Kira: I try not to think about that. If I... |
Kevin: Uh oh. She's doing it again.
Pam: Phyllis has gotten into audio books and lately she's been listening to 50 Shades of Grey. Which, if you don't know what it is, it's a book about um...
Clark: It's porn.
Pam: Yeah.
Dwight: [Phyllis rocks her chair into his provocatively] Seriously. Ugh. Ok, this is unacceptable. ... |
Paris: Paris to the Captain.
Janeway: Janeway here.
Paris: I've done an analysis of our route through Botha space. Whenever you have a minute to check it out.
Janeway: I'm on my way to Engineering. I'll be with you as soon as I'm done.
Paris: Aye, Captain.
Neelix: Ah, Captain, the computer told me I'd find you on deck ... |
Announcer: Report to your stations immediately. This is not a drill. We are under attack. We are under attack.
Tony Stark: Shit!
Steve Rogers: Language! JARVIS, what's the view from upstairs?
Jarvis: The central building is protected by some kind of energy shield. Strucker's technology is well beyond any other Hydra ba... |
Scene Description: A panoramic view of South Park, day. Holiday music is heard in the background, and the scenes are played out as the narrator mentions them.
Narrator: Way up in the mountains in a small little town, The Main Street was being decorated all up and down. People stood in long lines, sometimes waiting hour... |
Oscar: ...Lord of the Rings trilogy, if you see it back to back, it's really long. But it's good.
Jim: [off camera] Yeah, that's right.
Pam: Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam.
Michael: Pam! It's Michael. Help me! I need help right now.
Pam: Michael, what's wrong?
Michael: I'm hurt, I have hurt myself. Oh my God!
Pam: Ok, wai... |
Scene Description: South Park Farmer's Market, Day. A crowd is gathered under this banner and listens to Father Maxi as he delivers a service.
Father Maxi: Friends, we gather in this place to mourn the victims of yesterday's tragedy: nine good people who were run over in the street by an elderly woman driver. [the four... |
Mot: there's a time when you want to call a Romulan's bluff and there's a time when you don't. Wouldn't you say?
Picard: Well, one does not always have the luxury
Mot: You've got to choose your time and place with them. True or false?
Picard: Yes, wherever possible.
Mot: So, this time you were lucky. I suppose all's we... |
Scene Description: South Park Elementary, day. Butters walks down the hallway wearing a fake Oculus headset. He stumbles along as if he's actually in virtual reality. He checks out the other kids, the floor, the surroundings...
Butters: WHOOAA! It's all so real! Uh this is amazing! It's like I'm there! [Craig turns to ... |
[Setting: A Restaurant]
Ellen: So, they have this clock now, where you punch in your age, and all your risk factors. It actually counts down how much time you have left to live.
Jerry: So what's the great moment? You're on your death bed, they're pounding on your chest - and you're going 10, 9, 8,.. I told you this thi... |
Scene Description: Tegridy Farms, day. The Marshes sit at table and Randy comes in with laptop and coffee
Randy: Good morning, everyone. 'morning. So, listen guys. We are not in good shape. The whole "doing business in China" thing has sort of bitten us in the ass, [the projector screen comes on.] and now we aren't sel... |
Jerry: Do you know what this is all about? Do you know, why were here? To be out, this is out...and out is one of the single most enjoyable experiences of life. People...did you ever hear people talking about We should go out? This is what they're talking about...this whole thing, were all out now, no one is home. Not ... |
Allison: I don't want to *live*! I don't want to *live*!
George: Because of me? You must be joking! Who wouldn't want to live because of me? I'm nothing!
Allison: No... You're *something*.
George: You can do better than me. You could throw a dart out the window and hit someone better than me. I'm no good!
Allison: You'... |
Man: Yes! Good thing I noticed the similar shapes.
Hermes: Planet Express stockholders, I present our chief executive officer, Professor Hubert Farnsworth.
Farnsworth: Oh!
Amy: There he is!
Hattie: Take it off!
Farnsworth: Where am I?
Hermes: Move forward. Walk into the light.
Farnsworth: Oh, God, I'm dead! Well, no ma... |
Scene Description: Windermere Florida, Thanksgiving night, 2009, 2:15 am. There's fighting inside a mansion as a couple screams at each other
Man: Put it down, you bitch!
Scene Description: Mansion, inside. The camera is focused on the dining room table and slowly pulls back. A golf club strikes a dirty dish and smashe... |
Joey Tribbiani: Morning!
Rachel Green: Hi! Oh, how was your date last night?
Joey Tribbiani: Pretty good.
Rachel Green: Oh good. Ahhh! My God, sorry!
Joey Tribbiani: Okay, really good. Anyway I gotta go; I'm late for work.
Rachel Green: What-what?! You're gonna leave this person with me?!
Joey Tribbiani: Yeah-Hey, don'... |
Scene: Personal log, stardate 47329.4. I finally realize why I've had trouble sleeping the last few nights. Yesterday was the fourth anniversary of the massacre at Wolf three five nine. The fourth anniversary of Jennifer's death.
Sisko: I'm not sure what bothers me more. The date itself, or the fact that it almost pass... |
Scene Description: South Park Elementary playground. The boys and girls are yelling at each other as Nelly and Butters are about to fight each other.
Jason: Hit her!
Random Boy: Hit her, man!
Annie: Kick his ass, Nelly!
Red: All boys should die!
Lola: Take him out!
Nelly: I don't care if you're a boy, I'm gonna kick yo... |
Randy: Hey, good morning, everybody. Welcome to Tegridy Breakfast, the show where we talk about everything Tegridy Farms. I'm Randy Marsh.
Towelie: Hehehey, folks. I'm Towelie.
Randy: Today we're gonna talk about what's been growing on the farm, especially our new Tegridy Thanksgiving Special. [displays the new strain ... |
Man: Here they are. Welcome.
Woman: Thank you.
Padd: Recording.
Jake: Character sketches for possible stories. A Bolian tries to impress a dabo girl by wearing a toupee. A thief disguises himself as a Monk so he can swindle a Ferengi. A woman traveling alone. She's come a long way.
Odo: Lwaxana?
Lwaxana: Oh, hello, Odo... |
Elaine: Hmm!
George: Fantastic!
Jerry: I told ya. How good is this?
George: Good.
Jerry: How good?
George: Very good.
Jerry: I know it.
Elaine: They put real blue berries in this. And there's real blue berries. What kind did you get?
Jerry: Coffee. And they grind up the coffee beans, and put it in.
Elaine: Let me test-... |
Dwight: Today is the first day of Sabre's new project to develop a chain of retail stores. I am meeting my new boss, Nellie Bertram, head of special projects. Work starts at nine. Sabre HQ is thirty minutes away, driving the speed limit. Giving everyone twenty minutes to shower, plus fifty for Jim to style his hair, tw... |
The Singing Man: Morning's here! Sunshine is here! The sky is clear, the morning's here! The morning's here!
Rachel Green: HEY!! Do you have to do that? It's Saturday!
The Singing Man: Oh come on! Morning's here! Morning's here! The morning is here! Sunshine is here!
Rachel Green: I hate this apartment! I hate the colo... |
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