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Rachel Green: That is it! You just barge in here, you don't knock
Chandler Bing: I'm sorry!
Rachel Green: You have no respect for anybody's privacy!
Chandler Bing: Rachel, wait, wait.
Rachel Green: No, you wait! This is ridiculous!
Chandler Bing: Can I just say one thing?
Rachel Green: What? What?!
Chandler Bing: That'... |
Bashir: Miles. Fancy a drink?
O'Brien: I can't. Keiko and the kids are waiting on me for dinner. Next Thursday. Book a holosuite. They're going to Bajor.
Kira: Hi, Julian.
Bashir: Hi. You going to Vic's?
Kira: Yes.
Bashir: Mind if I join you?
Odo: Actually, we were looking forward to spending an evening alone.
Bashir: ... |
Chandler Bing: Y'know, I can't believe I'm getting my nails done! And you said it was gonna be fun! Which it kinda is. Also, you said there would be other guys here. There are no other guys here!
Rachel Green: Chandler, there's a guy right over there.
Chandler Bing: That's a mailman! That's our mailman! Hi. How are ya?... |
Scene: Captain's log, supplemental. O'Brien needed three days to restore main power to our commandeered Dominion ship, but he's not going to get them. Sensors have detected two Jem'Hadar fighters heading our way, and without main power our chances of survival are slim to none.
O'Brien: Try it now. Re-route the damned g... |
Phoebe Buffay: Hi guys!
Everyone: Hey, Pheebs! Hi!
Ross Geller: Hey. Oh, oh, how'd it go?
Phoebe Buffay: Um, not so good. He walked me to the subway and said 'We should do this again!'
Everyone: Ohh. Ouch.
Rachel Green: What? He said 'we should do it again', that's good, right?
Monica Geller: Uh, no. Loosely translated... |
Scene Description: South Park Elementary, day. The students are all in the cafeteria eating lunch. In the middle of the cafeteria is a table with the four boys there. Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny sit opposite Clyde, Craig, Kevin, and Token.
Cartman: So then, the guy hits the ping-pong ball with his dick, and it goes ... |
Scene Description: Cartman's house, living room, day. Cartman, Stan, and Kyle are on the sofa laughing as Cartman does some prank calls.
Cartman: [dialing] Shu- shut up you guys, shut up you guys. [the boys quiet down and cover their mouths as the call goes through to City Wok, a Chinese restaurant.]
Tuong Lu Kim: Herr... |
Rachel Green:
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah?
Rachel Green: Look at that guy by the window, wow!
Phoebe Buffay: He's awfully short and I think he's talking to himself. And to be completely honest, he's not that good in bed.
Rachel Green: Oh, what is wrong with me lately? I mean it's like every guy I see-I mean look here. Look at... |
Worf: Forward tubes armed and ready, Captain.
Picard: Fire.
Worf: A direct hit, sir.
Data: The asteroid has shattered. However, the core is still intact and still on a collision course with Tessen Three.
Riker: Is it big enough to cause a threat?
Data: Yes, sir. It is of sufficient size and density to cause planetwide ... |
Scene Description: South Park Elementary, day. The hallway is shown as the bell rings, and the students pour into the hallway from their classrooms. They're all chatting about something imminent.
Cartman: Oh, man, I thought that day would never end.
Wendy: Hey, Stan, you wanna maybe study together after school?
Stan: W... |
Michael: It is Friday morning and it is another beautiful day in Scranton, Pennsylvania. [sees man in a turban outside] Oh my God. Ohhh. [dials phone number] Pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up. Oh, we have a serious problem here. [goes out onto office floor] Alright everybody, lock the doors, turn off the lights. Prete... |
Andy: Alright everybody, great season of softball, I'm super proud of you guys and I think you're gonna like this little highlight reel that I put together. [Andy plays video]
Group: Dunder Mifflin!
Andy: Andy Bernard presents: Summer Softball Epic Fails! [Kevin swings bat on screen, fart noise follows] Fail. [repeats]... |
Janeway: Come in.
Chakotay: Seven of Nine's shipwide efficiency analysis.
Janeway: Did we get a passing grade?
Chakotay: Barely. She wants to present it to the senior staff.
Janeway: Put her on the schedule.
Chakotay: We'll be passing by a class T cluster in the next couple of days. Gas giants, radiogenic sources. I'm ... |
Worf: E-cha!
Dax: Movek. Okay. I see your point. The mek'leth definitely have its advantages. But I still think the bat'leth, with its longer reach, is usually the deciding factor.
Worf: That is a classic argument. However, I find using a large and intimidating weapon like a bat'leth often leads to overconfidence.
Dax:... |
Janeway: Come in.
Tuvok: You wished to see me.
Janeway: We've known each other for how long?
Tuvok: Approximately twenty years.
Janeway: We've served on three starships together. I was present at your daughter's Kohlinar. I consider you one of my closest friends.
Tuvok: And I regard you with the same esteem.
Janeway: I... |
Doctorbot: Notify his survivors.
Bender: B-E-N-D-E-R! Be-ender! B-E-N-D-E-R! Be-ender! Sayin' B-E-N-D-ER-
Hermes: Mail call! Amy, here's your designer lingerie catalogue. Fry, Sadie's Bra Parade and, Leela, Bulk Underpants Outlet.
Leela: You buy one pound of underwear and you're on their list forever.
Hermes: And for B... |
Dwight: [picks up pencil between his toes]
Jim: Why?
Dwight: Twenty minutes a day Jim, that's all it takes. Twenty minutes a day, all feet, no hands and I'll have the pedi-dexterity of a chimp, and you'll be sitting there like an idiot. [attempts to place pencil in pencil sharpener] Okay. Here we go. Ah, yes. [accident... |
Joey Tribbiani: Man this is weird. You ever realize Captain Crunch's eyebrows are actually on his hat?
Chandler Bing: That's what's weird? Joey, the man's been captain of a cereal for the last 40 years.
Chandler Bing: Waaa-aaah.
Joey Tribbiani: What?
Chandler Bing: The spoon. You licked and-and you put. You licked and ... |
Creed: [drives up to the entrance of the building, his license plate reads 'NEW MGR'] It's a beautiful morning at Dunder-Mifflin, or as I like to call it, Great Bratton. [gets out of car, tosses his keys toward a nonexistent valet parker] Keep it running.
Creed: Do I love being manager?... I love my kids. I love real e... |
Dax: Do you need me, Julian?
Bashir: How did you know it was me?
Dax: There are different ways to recognize someone. The rhythm of their steps, for example.
Bashir: You are remarkable.
Dax: Julian, you and I have to have a talk about Trills and relationships.
Bashir: Fine. We'll do it over supper. Quark has found me th... |
Jerry: Im always in traffic with the lane expert. You know this type of person? Constantly reevaluating their lane choice. Never quite sure, Is this the best lane for me? For my life? They're always a little bit ahead of you, Can I get in over there? Could I get in over here? Could I get in there? Yeah, come on over he... |
Picard: Captain's log, stardate 45494.2. We're investigating a series of subspace signals that may indicate intelligent life in the Epsilon Silar System. We are within sensor range.
Data: The characteristic response to the Kriskov Gambit is to counter with the el-Mitra Exchange, particularly since I have already taken ... |
George: Why even try anymore? There's no sense to it. I'm never gonna meet anybody, I should just accept it.
Jerry: Oh, yes you will.
George: No, I won't.
Jerry: Yeah, maybe you won't.
George: I mean it's hard enough to meet a woman you dislike, much less like.
Jerry: Are my nostrils getting bigger?
George: No. Why mus... |
Photographer: Great. Great! Just give me a sec to change film.
Monica Geller: Okay.
Ross Geller: Okay, I know I'm not supposed to know, but I do. And I'm so excited for you!
Joey Tribbiani: What? What's going on?
Ross Geller: Monica's pregnant!
Joey Tribbiani: Oh my God! Is that why you guys had to get married?!
Monica... |
Dax: Kira, we've got six Byzatium transports coming in this afternoon. I've got to have more cargo space.
Kira: All right. Have them offload into cargo bays three and four, but that's it. We are pushing our storage capacity as it is.
O'Brien: That reminds me. We got a message last night saying the Byzallians want to mo... |
Scene: Commander's log, stardate 48959.1. It is with mixed emotions that I record this, my final Commander's log. The last three years have been the most demanding and rewarding of my career. I can only hope that the future will hold even greater challenges.
Jake: Dad, there's something I've been wanting to say to you ... |
George: O.K., Danny, take a swing. (Tartabull swings the bat.) N-No! No! No! You're opening up your shoulder.
Tartabull: Really?
George: No, not really. I'm just saying this to you because I like to hear myself talk. Yes, really!
Tartabull (Wiping Sweat From His Brow): Alright, alright.
George: What are all sweatin' fo... |
Odo: Morn, if you're not too busy, I'd appreciate it if you did something about that shipment of Livanian beets you have sitting in Cargo Bay Three. It's been there for over two weeks. It's starting to rot.
Odo: Morn.
Quark: It's a hologram. Morn's been away on business for the last two weeks. You're slipping, Odo. You... |
Scene Description: South Park Elementary hallway, day. The students are going about their business when several girls arrive with fliers in hand.
Girl 1: [handing out fliers] Hey guys. [Clyde takes one] Thanks. Support your team? Thank you. Hey guys. Did you get one of these? [walks up to Cartman and Craig] Hope you ca... |
Scene Description: A soccer field, day. The four boys are at soccer practice with other boys from around the neighborhood. They're exercising, touching their bellies, then their feet, then raising their hands in the air.
Group: Twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty-four, twenty-five, twenty-six, twenty-seven, tw... |
Rachel Green: So, which of this kitchen stuff is mine?
Monica Geller: This bottle opener.
Rachel Green: And?
Monica Geller: And it's a magnet!
Rachel Green: Look at that!
Ross Geller: How weird is that? Y'know? You're moving in with me and have the one thing I don't have. It's like uh, in a way you-you complete me kitc... |
Scene Description: South Park.
Announcer 2: Previously, on South Park: an air of sobriety fills the laboratory as the men of South Park gather to find out which one of them fathered this boy.
Scene Description: A shot of Cartman chowing down on cookies and milk.
Announcer 1: Who is Eric Cartman's father? At the end of ... |
David Brent: Oh, sorry, mate.
Michael: [English accent] Oh, sorry, mate. Excuse me. Mate.
David: [laughing] What you doing?
Michael: English?
David: You picked on the wrong person, I can tell you that.
Michael: Oh no no, I'm not picking on you at all. You're English, correct?
David: Yeah big time, yeah.
Michael: I'm wo... |
Monica Geller: Okay, now this one is rare, this one is medium well! Now go-go-go! Hey Phoebe!
Phoebe Buffay: Hey!
Monica Geller: Hey how was dinner?!
Phoebe Buffay: Dinner was good!
Monica Geller: Okay!
Phoebe Buffay: I'm just saying hi! Now I'm gonna go!
Monica Geller: Okay!
Phoebe Buffay: Oh, well hello there.
Guy: H... |
Troi: That was an incredible program.
Worf: I am glad you approve. I have always found the Black Sea at night to be a most stimulating experience.
Troi: Worf, we were walking barefoot on the beach with balalaika music in the air, ocean breeze washing over us, stars in the sky, a full moon rising, and the most you can s... |
Scene Description: Looming Sunset Assisted Living center, day. We can surmise from this that Grandpa Marsh was put in this home when Sharon and Randy divorced shortly after Stan's 10th birthday. The family stops by for a visit.
Randy: Well, Dad, it was really great seeing you. We'd love to stay for dinner, but the food... |
Scene Description: A promo is the first thing shown. Live-action shots throughout
Announcer: This Saturday, Pox presents the musical event of the new millennium! You all remember playing the recorder in elementary school! [a recorder resting on a book of sheet music is shown] Well, this Saturday in Oklahoma City [its s... |
Scene Description: Scenes from the World of Warcraft are shown. Various beings mill around. The camera pans down and a red-bearded dwarf walks into view.
Cartman: [as the dwarf, with mallet] Oh, dude! I just took the biggest crap. Hey-where are you guys?
Kyle: [voice only] We're over here, by the cart. [POV switches to... |
Sisko: Captain's personal log, stardate five one seven, er, five one seven four? Computer, what day is it?
Computer: Stardate 51721.3.
Sisko: It's only been two weeks. I need to talk about this. I have to justify what's happened, what I've done, at least to myself. I can't talk to anyone else. Not even to Dax. Maybe if... |
Announcer: Futurama is brought to you by ... ... Molten Boron!
Jingle Singer: Nobody doesn't like Molten Boron!
Fry: I hate the Planet of the Moochers. They take you out for a drink but when the check comes, their wallet's always in their other pants - which they borrowed from me!
Leela: Dinner ready?
Bender: Nah, thos... |
Scene Description: The Broflovski house, dining room table, evening. The family is gathered at table eating dinner
Kyle: Mom, Dad, what's "muff cabbage"? [Gerald and Sheila pause. They look at each other, then turn back to their son]
Gerald: [confused] Muff cabbage?
Sheila: [also confused] Where did you hear that?
Ike:... |
Mrs. Sokol: Just sign here please.
George: I know who it was too. It was the guy who interviewed me. He was very threatened by me. Why else wouldn't he hire me? I could sell latex like that (snaps fingers).
Mrs. Sokol: Sign that.
George: Who is this? (sees photo)
Mrs. Sokol: It's my daughta'
George: THIS is your daught... |
Farnsworth: Oh, Lordy Lou! Help!
Fry: I know you've rejected me a lot before but, frankly, I wasn't sure we were right for each other either. But now I am. So how 'bout a date tonight?
Leela: Sorry. I think I, um, I think I left my toaster on.
Farnsworth: Buddha! Zeus! God! One of you guys do something!
Fry: Come on, L... |
Michael: Happy Halloween, everyone! [notices Pam, in her cat costume] Oh... that's great!
Pam: Hey... Happy Halloween. Jan called.
Michael: Ohh... OK.
Michael: I know why she's calling. It's the end of the month, and I was supposed to let somebody go by the end of the month. And somehow I'm supposed to put on a costume... |
Jerry: I'm looking for a crested blazer
Craig: A crested blazer..
Jerry: I've worn one once and I really think it did something for me.
Craig: (turning around) Yes .I Think we may have something. (picks up a blazer) The Joseph Aboud crested blazer is the finest... That's hand ticking around the crest and these are the ... |
Riker: Damage report!
Crusher: Casualty reports coming in from all over the ship.
Data: The starboard nacelle has sustained a direct impact. We are venting drive plasma.
Laforge: Initiating emergency core shutdown.
Ro: Inertial dampers failing. We're losing attitude control.
Riker: This is the Bridge. All hands to emer... |
Seven: Lieutenant, Ensign.
Kim: Hey, Seven.
Torres: Have some dinner. The potato salad isn't half bad.
Seven: I do not require nutrition at this time. I would like to talk with you.
Kim: Okay.
Seven: Ensign Kim, what is your place of origin?
Kim: You mean, where am I from? Well, I was born in South Carolina, but I grew... |
Michael: Oh, yeah. [clapping and chanting] I got a big box, yes I do. I got a big box how 'bout you? [points to Erin]
Erin: [clapping] I got a big box, yes I do. I got a big box how 'bout you? [points to Oscar]
Oscar: I think you don't know what you're saying.
Michael: It's from 'Sob-ray', our new owner, and it is to S... |
Garak: But I'm sorry, Doctor, I just don't see the value of this man's work.
Bashir: Garak, Shakespeare is one of the giants of human literature.
Garak: I knew Brutus was going to kill Caesar in the first act, but Caesar didn't figure it out until the knife is in his back.
Bashir: That's what makes it a tragedy. Caesar... |
Scene Description: Bus Stop. Stan and Kenny wait patiently. Kyle and Ike walk up. Ike is dressed in a little business suit and his hair is combed
Stan: Dude, what's your little brother doing here?
Kyle: Ike is starting his first day of kindergarten.
Stan: But isn't he only three years old?
Kyle: Yeah, but he's some kin... |
Ross Geller: Hi.
Rachel Green: Hi! Hi Ben!
Ben Geller: Hi.
Ross Geller: Hi, we have a little bathroom emergency.
Rachel Green: Oh, yeah go ahead.
Ross Geller: Uh, before we do uh, are any of Joey's special romance magazines in there?
Rachel Green: No. No.
Ross Geller: Okay! All clear!
Ben Geller: Thanks Phoebe!
Rachel ... |
Monica Geller: Hey.
Chandler Bing: Hey.
Monica Geller: Oh my God! You cleaned! Look at these floors! You did the windows! Oh, I have been begging you for months and you did! You cleaned! And nagging works!
Chandler Bing: Y'know uh, I didn't actually do this.
Monica Geller: Oh no, was I cleaning in my sleep again?
Chand... |
Ross Geller: What's going on?
Rachel Green: Well, my eye is a little itchy.
Joey Tribbiani: Uhhh, mine too! Yeah.
Monica Geller: Wow! It's really red! You should go see my eye doctor.
Rachel Green: Richard? I'm not gonna go see your ex-boyfriend!
Chandler Bing: Oh, Richard. That's all I ever hear, Richard, Richard, Ric... |
Chandler Bing: Dehydrated Japanese noodles under fluorescent lights... does it get better than this?
Shelley: Question. You're not dating anybody, are you, because I met somebody who would be perfect for you.
Chandler Bing: Ah, y'see, perfect might be a problem. Had you said 'co-dependent', or 'self-destructive'...
She... |
Announcer: Futurama is brought to you by ... ... Glagnar's Human Rinds. It's a buncha muncha cruncha human!
Leela: Aww! Somebody likes snouts.
Fry: Is it me?
Bender: Ow, my head! My precious head! Stupid can opener. You killed my father and now you've come back for me!
Fry: You alright, Bender?
Bender: Yeah, I guess so... |
Scene Description: The Marsh house, outside, night.
Randy: [inside] ...In my Easter Bonnet, with all the frills upon it, I'll be the grandest lady in the Easter parade.
Scene Description: The Marsh house, dining room table. The Marshes are decorating Easter eggs. Stan dips a hard-boiled egg into a glass of green dye. M... |
Scene Description: The Marsh house, day. Sharon is carving a pumpkin at the dining room table, Shelly and Stan work on making the pie filling. Randy enters the house with gifts.
Randy: [excitedly] Hellooo family! [closes the door] Who wants champagne? [puts the gifts on the sofa]
Sharon: [meeting him at the sofa] Randy... |
Scene Description: The school auditorium, day. The students are gathered there to listen to some performances. PC Principal is on stage next to a piano and another mic.
PC Principal: [taps the mic six times] All right everyone, listen up. Today we're gonna have a performance by one of our students who has written a son... |
Odo: By the way, your gagh has arrived.
Ezri: My what? Oh, no.
Odo: Oh yes, and it's waiting for you in cargo bay two.
Kira: Your gagh?
Ezri: Jadzia ordered it. She was planning a party for Martok's birthday next week.
Kira: How much gagh did she order?
Odo: Fifty one cases.
Ezri: Each containing a different variety.
K... |
Chandler Bing: So ah, your first sexual experience was with a woman?!
Bonnie: All right, I was 15, it was my best friend, Ruth, and we got drunk on that hard cider, and then suddenly, I don't know, we were, we were making out.
Chandler Bing: Tell it again. Seriously.
Rachel Green: I mean is that woman capable of talkin... |
Scene Description: The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. Fallon is going into his monologue
Jimmy Fallon: Okay okay okay. So this guy is running for President and he hates immigrants, and he's basically an idiot. [the audience laughs throughout] Not surprisingly, this guy is from a predominantly white town called South P... |
Picard: Captain's log, Stardate 43657.0 While Commander Riker is away on personal leave, the Enterprise has traveled to sector three nine six to begin charting the Selebi Asteroid Belt.
Laforge: He sent for you too?
Troi: Yes. He was very mysterious.
Wesley: Does you have any idea what this is about?
Laforge: Something... |
Rachel Green: Hi!
Monica Geller: Hey!
Phoebe Buffay: Hey!
Rachel Green: So what's the final head count on my baby shower?
Phoebe Buffay: About twenty, a couple people from work who had something else to do.
Monica Geller: Also both of your sisters called and neither can make it.
Rachel Green: What?! You mean they're no... |
Jerry: The old-fashioned barber shop is unfortunately becoming a thing of the past, now what went wrong? Well first of all there's a twenty thousand dollar chair to make a three dollar tip. I say cut back on the chair, update the magazines. Why do barbers always display that license? There's no laws in hair cutting, ex... |
Phoebe Buffay: Hi.
Everyone: Hey! Hi!
Rachel Green: How was the honeymoon? Phoebe; Oh, incredible! Oh! Champagne, candle-lit dinners, moonlight walks on the beach, it was sooo ro-man-tic!
Rachel Green: Oh!
Chandler Bing: So, where's Mike?
Phoebe Buffay: Oh, he's at the doctor, he didn't poop the whole time we were ther... |
Kira: We never cared what we did, as long as it annoyed the grown-ups. All inner deflector shield sub-systems are showing equal intensity.
Dax: Power balance levels are reading normal. I was a champion window breaker. On a dark night with a few rocks, I was deadly.
Kira: Er, which you are you talking about?
Dax: We're ... |
Fry: I've never seen a supernova blow up, but if it's anything like my old Chevy Nova, it'll light up the night sky!
Bender: Yeah! Anyone who misses this will regret it the rest of his life. Hey, Fry, could you go make some popcorn?
Fry: OK.
Fry: Let's go, microwave, I'm in a hurry here! Hm? Hey, what smells like blue?... |
Scene Description: South Park Elementary, morning. The school bell rings. A "WELCOME BACK!" sign hangs over a row of student lockers as kids mill around in the hall. The camera pans to the right to show the four boys standing before their new classroom: FOURTH GRADE.
Stan: Well, here we are, dude, the first day of four... |
Picard: Captain's log, stardate 46235.7 Ensign Ro, Keiko O'Brien, Guinan and I are returning to the Enterprise after a fascinating visit to the planet Marlonia.
Picard: And I found these pieces in the tertiary level of the dig. They're typical of second century Marlonian cookware. Look at those markings. They're very s... |
Scene Description: South Park Elementary Gym, day. The cheerleaders are at practice
Cheerleaders: Yeah, yeah, do we rock?! Yeah, yeah, take it to the top! Yeah, yeah, are we gonna stop?! No way! No way!
Wendy: Cheer Squad roll call! [each cheerleader steps forward, announces her name, and steps back]
Heidi: Heidi!
Nich... |
[Setting: night club]
Jerry: To me, the whole concept of fear of success is proof that we are definitely scraping the bottom of the fear barrel. Are we gonna have to have AA-type meetings for these people? They'll go "Hi, my name is Bill, and the one thing I'm worried about is to have a stereo and a cream-colored couch... |
Scene Description: Previously on South Park.
Cartman: [voiceover] Previously on Battlestar Galactica [clips from last week's episode follow]
Stan: What is this place?
Fanciful Mayor: This... is Imaginationland.
A Terrorist: [runs in out of nowhere] ALLAH!!! [the terrorist sets off the bomb as everyone else leans back. ... |
Chakotay: Beautiful, isn't it?
Seven: A sensor analysis would have provided the necessary information.
Chakotay: Just admiring the view.
Seven: The conference begins in less than an hour.
Chakotay: There's always time for Warp Field Dynamics, but you don't see natural beauty like this every day.
Chakotay: What was that... |
Scene Description: South Park Elementary School Playground, day. The kids are out for recess. Bill and another boy are tossing a ball at each other. Scott Malkinson and Red are chatting nearby. On the merry-go-round the four main boys as well as Clyde and Butters are gathered, each of them holding an iPad
Cartman: Oh m... |
Elaine: Hey.
Jerry: Morning.
Elaine: Look, this is crazy, I can't go on like this.
Jerry: But why?
Elaine: I need some space.
George: Does that mean I have to go too?
Jerry: You don't think she's just talking to me?
George: Hey, shut up.
Jerry: You shut up.
Elaine: I hate this.
Kramer: You'll get used to it. It's like ... |
Dwight: [driving past a line of Mexican men looking for work] Hola, hola. Necesito une bueno worker. Tu esporte! Come on! [man walks away] Que? QUE?
Mexican Man: [speaking Spanish]
Son: We don't go with that man. I've seen several men go with that man and not come back.
Mexican Man: [speaking Spanish]
Son: We've lost f... |
Dwight: [bouncing on an exercise ball] You should get one of these.
Jim: No. Thank you.
Dwight: Do you even know what this is? It is a fitness orb and it has completely changed my life. Forget everything you thought you knew about ab workouts.
Jim: Done.
Dwight: This ab workout is specifically designed to strengthen yo... |
Janeway: Fire!
Tuvok: The asteroid is fragmenting, but most of the debris is still on a collision course with the planet.
Janeway: Target the fragments. Destroy them.
Chakotay: That asteroid should have been vaporized. What happened?
Kim: Not sure. Sensors showed a simple nickel-iron composition. We shouldn't be seeing... |
Andy: [looking at Angela's costume] Approved!
Andy: [claps] Chef from South Park, it's genius!
Stanley: Just some chef.
Andy: I've decided to pre-screen all the Halloween costumes this year. I have three simple rules - don't be offensive, don't be cliche, and don't take the first two rules too seriously.
Kevin: The gor... |
Jerry: All right. How 'bout this one let's say you're abducted by aliens.
George: Fine.
Jerry: They haul you aboard the mother ship, take you back to their planet as a curiosity. Now would you rather be in their zoo, or their circus?
George: I gotta go zoo. I feel like I could set more of my own schedule.
Jerry: But in... |
Dax: Sell at twenty.
Quark: Is that a joke?
Dax: Do I look like I'm joking?
Quark: Evade.
Dax: Exchange at fifteen.
Worf: She has him.
O'Brien: She's down fifty strips.
Worf: Not for long.
O'Brien: What makes you so sure?
Worf: Jadzia is playing a very deep game. Her strategy will become apparent any moment now.
O'Brie... |
Gabe: Ugh, man. My delts are blasted. I wish they had a chart for how much protein powder to scoop for a 180 pound man with no fat.
Dwight: Protein powder, huh? You cut it with water? Why don't you just take estrogen? [swallows powder] [coughs] There you go boys. See how papa takes care of you? [kisses bicep] Mwah.
Gab... |
Scene Description: South Park Elementary, day. The school is in an uproar. The students are tearing up their notebooks and littering the hallways with their papers. Clyde starts setting papers on fire.
Cartman: [runs through the hallway] This is an outrage! This is a violation of our human rights! [stops in front of St... |
Scene Description: Episode starts with Cartman watching TV and snacking on something. Kitty walks up.
Kitty: Reowr.
Cartman: No, Kitty, these are my spicy-hot Louisiana-baked Chicken Tenders!
Kitty: Reowr.
Cartman: No, Kitty! [the TV screen shows a blond Ash-like figure surrounded by three little monsters]
"Ash": Somed... |
Rachel Green: Good, you guys are all here!
Ross Geller: Hey! What's up?
Rachel Green: Well, I have a job interview at Ralph Lauren tomorrow!
Everyone: Congratulations! Ohh, that's great!
Rachel Green: I know!
Joey Tribbiani: Boy, that guy's underwear sucks!
Rachel Green: Wh-what?!
Joey Tribbiani: I got this pair marked... |
Quark: I am truly impressed. And I'm not easily impressed. In all my years as proprietor of Quark's Bar, Grill, Gaming House and Holosuite Arcade, I have never seen such a glowing employee performance report. I mean, look at this. In three months, no customer has filed a single complaint against you. You haven't spille... |
Chandler Bing: No-no-no-no, we're done.
Monica Geller: Aunt Syl, stop yelling! All I'm saying is that if you had told me vegetarian lasagna, I would have made vegetarian lasagna. Well, the meat's only every third layer, maybe you could scrape.
Joey Tribbiani: Ross, did you really read all these baby books?
Ross Geller:... |
Jerry: The bad thing about television is that everybody you see on television is doing something better than what you're doing. You ever see anybody on TV like just sliding off the front of the sofa with potato chip crumbs on their face? Some people have a little too much fun on television. The soda commercial people. ... |
Odo: Are you all right?
Worf: What time is it?
Odo: Oh four hundred. Your hearing starts in four hours. I suggest trying to get some sleep. You've got a big day ahead of you.
T'Lara: This hearing will come to order. We are here to consider the request of the Klingon Empire that Lieutenant Commander Worf be extradited f... |
Picard: Captain's log, stardate 41723.9. In response to a Starfleet order we are in the Xendi Sabu star system, having rendezvoused with a Ferengi vessel which has requested a meeting. Although we arrived here and made appropriate signals to the Ferengi three days ago, they have so far responded only with the message, ... |
Torres: Torres to Voyager. I could use a little help here.
Chakotay: What's your status?
Torres: I'm approaching your position, but that ion storm blew out my deflector field. I've lost helm control and I'm venting plasma from the port nacelle.
Chakotay: We're modifying a tractor pulse to slow you down.
Torres: Acknowl... |
Scene Description: Park County Fair, day. South Park is more spread out these days. Looking like a small city now. People mill around. The boys walk along a fairway. Cartman pulls out a small firecracker and tosses it on the ground before Kyle and cackles softlyv
Kyle: [stops so he doesn't get hurt and glares] Stop it,... |
Phyllis: Whoo! Wow, it is raining cats and dogs out there. Holy moley.
Jim: Phyllis says the same twelve clich��s every time it rains. So, I promised everyone that if she says them all by noon today, I will send out for hot chocolates.
Darryl: So how was the drive in?
Phyllis: Oh, nobody knows how to drive in the rain.... |
Radio: Demonstration at U C Santa Cruz campus last night. Tear gas was used to disperse a crowd of three thousand angry students. The temperature right now in down town Barstow is seventy five degrees.
Starling: Far out!
Janeway: Come in!
Janeway: Oh. Sorry, Tuvok. I was just practicing my serve.
Tuvok: Your serve?
Jan... |
Emh: Seven of Nine. How's my favorite Borg today?
Seven: Annoyed. In the future you will announce your presence before entering this room.
Emh: Sorry. I guess I should have knocked first.
Seven: Are we ready to leave?
Emh: Yes. According to sensors, spatial conditions are ripe. A spontaneous protonebula could emerge wi... |
Neelix: Are you sure this rice isn't supposed to be cooked? Steamed, fried?
Emh: The idea is to shower the couple with a symbol of good fortune, not garnish them like a roast chicken. Smile.
Neelix: Rice, anyone?
Crewwoman: I'll take one.
Neelix: Red alert.
Kim: Ready?
Janeway: This is it, Tom. Your bachelor days are o... |
Picard: Report.
Riker: There's an object of some kind closing in on our position.
Picard: On screen.
Data: It appears to be an unmanned probe approximately one half meter in diameter. There are no identifiable armaments.
Worf: Captain, we are being, You are being hailed, by name.
Picard: Open a channel. This is Captain... |
Picard: Captain's log, stardate 45047.2. The Enterprise is en route to the uninhabited El-Adrel system, its location is near the territory occupied by an enigmatic race known as The Children of Tama.
Picard: Apparently the Tamarians arrived at El-Adrel Four nearly three weeks ago. They have been transmitting a subspace... |
Michael: So, Phil recruited me to sell these cards, and now I am recruiting you.
Oscar: Who is this guy again?
Michael: Don't worry about Phil. He drives a corvette. He is doing just fine. Okay. Calling cards are... the wave of the future. These things sell themselves.
Ryan: Who uses calling cards anymore?
Michael: You... |
Picard: Captain's log, stardate 41235.25. Our location, planet Ligon Two, source of a rare vaccine needed on Federation planet Styris Four. Starfleet has instructed me to engage in a friendly visit and open treaty negotiations to acquire this medicinal substance.
Laforge: Standard orbit, sir.
Riker: Lieutenant Yar is c... |
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