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[WP] You are a teddy bear stuck in a Grabber machine. You have been in there for 45 years due the way the machine is rigged for kids to lose. You and your inmates must think of an escape plan before the arcade shuts down in a week
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"\"GUYS!\" Andy jumped from the end of the machine. He was one of the lucky ones, propped in such a way that his teddy bear nose was stuck right to the plexiglass of the machine. Perfect to see out, \"Guysguysguysguysguys!\" \n\n\"God, shut up Andy,\" Mark yelled, \"I just want to sleep.\" Mark was always grumpy, and for a good reason too. He's splayed across the pile of teddy bears, one on top that kids *loved* to go for. Whenever a parent said, \"How about him in the middle? He looks easy.\" You knew that Mark was going to go through a hell lot of pain. \n\n\"They're shutting down the arcade!\" Andy said, slamming his nose against the plexiglass. \n\n\"What?\" \"Really?\" \"Are you sure?\" \"Is it for real?\" \n\n\"Que?\" We had a Spanish teddy bear, Miguel. No one knew where he was from and everyone *barely* understood him.\n\n\"We need to get out, we can be stuck here forever!\" Henry wailed. He was a cry baby, forever stuck at the bottom of the heap, never to see a speck of daylight. \n\n\"Okay,\" Andy chattered excitedly, \"We go through that hole-\" Everyone's eyes gravitated towards the holy exit, the one that was barred by plexiglass teddy bear-height. \"And we make our great escape.\" \n\nEveryone flopped to their positions and patiently waited for all the lights to turn off. \n\n\"Psst.\" Andy hissed, \"Mark you're first.\" \n\nWith his fuzzy arms, Mark hauled his body up and gingerly made his way to the hole. \n\n\"Ow.\" \"Mark you're so *heavy*!\" \"This hurts.\" \n\nWith a determined glare, Mark swung his body over the ledge and pushed himself through the hole. The grabber machine held it's breath until we could hear the soft sound of cotton on carpet. \n\nThe grabber machine shook with success. \n\n\"Okay you next,\" Andy instructed at the next teddy bear. \n\n\"Oh Andy!\" Henry said, pressing his nose against the glass, \"This is what you see everyday. This is wonderful.\" With a warm hug, Henry was helped over the glass barrier. \n\nIt was a collective effort from there. Teddy bears pushed each other out through the hole one by one until there was only five of us left and a heap of teddy bears right under the mouth of the machine. \n\n\"Miguel,\" Andy gestured at the hole. \n\n\"Ah gracias Andy, eres agraaaAAAAAHH!\" Jason had pushed him through before Miguel could turn it into a monologue. \n\n\"Jason, then Kyle, then Daniel.\" One by one they funneled through, Andy helping the last one through, then realizing too late that no one could help him. \n\nHe stood there, making his way to the other end to make a run for it. He ran at full speed, launching himself to the edge but to no avail. He wasn't spectacular at jumping or running and most other teddy bears needed someone to help them up, as did he. Andy launched himself, Andy tried to scale the plexiglass. Nothing would work. \n\nWithout noticing the peril of their leader, all the other teddy bears joyously celebrated their escape and headed towards the exit, leaving Andy to stay in the grabber machine all by himself, unable to get out of contraption that he had helped everyone else get out of. Alone, his soft fuzzy heart broke and hopeless tears streamed from his sad teddy bear eyes. "
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[WP] Dog's journal of the apocalypse.
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"The Linfield's home was a warm and inviting place. Pillows and rugs lined the rough corners and hard floors. A dog could live in comfort there. Maybe, that was why my mother chose to bring me into the world on a soft, bright, white fur rug that lay in their living room. From inside her, I could feel the hot summer air that labored her breathing as the hours passed. She laid underneath the living room lights and watchful eyes of her human family. When I came into the world, I heard what I later learned to be whispers and gasps of wonder coming from the family above. And as I was enveloped by those sounds and the bright lights that approached me, quickly, rushing towards me, I was born.\n\nThe Parker's garage was a cold and comforting place. Plastic containers pushed against the walls, and piles of tarp laid flat on the cement floor. Shelves filled with tools and trinkets surrounded the spaces of the white walls above me, some containing families of spiders, and others covered with lonely layers of dust. As a small, long eared puppy, I would wedge and stick myself in the smallest of spaces to pass the time. When the large door opened, it revealed a light brighter than the one that always shone above me, the one I was used to sleeping underneath. I would run and hide in my favorite corners that I learned to befriend. Other times, when the warm, yellow light of the kitchen shone through the cracks in the door, I would rush towards it in the hopes I could reach my old family again. But most days I waited, fighting against time in the darkness of my new home.\n\nThe Martinez's home was a loud and exciting place. Every day I laid my head to rest on the cold, white tile floor. And every night, I did the same on a large, brown pillow that fit the size of my long body, head to tail. From time to time, I was walked by Mrs. Martinez from room to room of her home, visiting person to person, each one as different from the next. Most of them would pat my head gently, tug at my fur, and scratch my ears for hours on end. Others would wrap themselves round my neck, with water dipping from their faces as I laid on their beds. Every day I listened to the loud voices of humans around me, while I wagged my tail at the sound. I was drawn to all of them, some curled into themselves, sitting on the hallway tile, and others whose arms slumped over the sides of their beds. They all spoke to me in one way or another, and so I walked, walked from one end of the house to the other, nudging their heads and their hands as I passed. The long, bright lights above me gleamed in my eyes and shone against the black and white bodies that filled my home.\n\nThe Freeman's home is a dark and unfriendly place. Maybe this is why, when the burning, white light rushes towards me, I sit still, looking into the distance. The wind blows through shattered windows and I dig my claws into the floor. I hear the muffled screams through the wooden walls of a house abandoned long ago. The pressure pops my joints, and for a second, the ache in my old body disappears. A warmth covers my body, wrapping itself around my matted fur and into the dirty tufts that have grown over the years. I'm suddenly reminded of my mother. Was this the pain she felt as I burst from her belly? My question goes unanswered, and quickly enough, I'm met by the same light I welcomed so long ago.\n\n",
"#Day 13\n\n\nWhere are all the people?\n\n\nI haven't felt well since the day they disappeared. A bright flash. A bit of heat. \n\n\nThey were playing with the ball. They were talking. And then it all stopped. They stood against the wall. Even the ball. \n\n\nThey haven't moved since. \n\n\nThe things in the sky are falling apart. Some of them aren't there. The center of that area is glowing a bland, cold color. \n\n\nThe tick-tock is talking as always. It let me in. I ran up the stairs hoping to find the people. \n\n\n*12 noon.*\n\n\nFood. I smell food. \n\n\nBy habit, I chased my tail, knowing I would get food. But none was given. I ran and chased a ball. I did all the tricks I knew- and then collapsed, waiting for dinner. \n\n\n*Nine-five.* A voice spoke from above: \"Mrs. McClellan, which poem would you like this evening?\"\nThe house was silent.\nThe voice said at last, \"Since you express no preference, I shall select a poem at random.\" Quiet music rose to back the voice. \"Sara Teasdale. As I recall, your favorite...\n\n\"There will come soft rains and the smell of the ground, And swallows circling with their shimmering sound;\n\nAnd frogs in the pools singing at night, And wild plum trees in tremulous white;\n\nRobins will wear their feathery fire, Whistling their whims on a low fence-wire;\n\nAnd not one will know of the war, not one Will care at last when it is done.\n\nNot one would mind, neither bird nor tree, If mankind perished utterly;\n\nAnd Spring herself, when she woke at dawn Would scarcely know that we were gone.\"\n\n\nAt 10 my home also faded. \n\n\nI could smell burning. I ate just enough food to last me a few days. Water fell from above. I got out of there as soon as I could. The walls disappeared. All that was left were the people, and the ball, and the words; frozen as always, not realizing what was happening. \n\n\nHow much longer can I last?",
"Dear Diary,\n\nThings have been ruff; yes r u f f, ruff. It’s been eight weeks since the collapse of human civilization. I wander the streets, worried and alone. I cannot find my master, Jeff the Human, anywhere, and I fear that he is lost to us. For now, I focus on foraging and scavenging; I must keep my energy up.\n\nI’ve been marking my territory as well. There is a surprising lack of dogs in the neighborhood now, my humble lands of the backyard have expanded to a mighty three block radius. I know if Jeff the Human would be here, he would be very proud of me. My tail wags and wags just thinking about the praise he would most assuredly rain down on me.\n\nThere are some downsides to this madness however. I have not ridden a car since the collapse of human society. I yearn for the wind rushing through my fur; I miss the flapping of my ears as we careen down the street. My initial attempts at operating a car myself where, less than favorable.\n\nStill however, life is good. I am able to scavenge for plenty of food. Thankfully, there is a nearby pet shop with easy doggy access; I feast everyday like a king.\n\nBut, there is one sour note on my new life. My antagonist, my archenemies, Knotz the Cat, still torments me. Yes, it seems that Knotz the Cat, the neighbor’s kitten, has indeed survived the apocalypse. Knotz and I are the only survivors in our area. She taunts me mercilessly, calling me names and demeaning me. I try to fight back, but my wit simply cannot match hers. The other day, I attempted to bite her out of frustration, but alas, she was too nimble and quick for me. All she does is follow me and pester me. It is an irritation, but at the same time I fear that I would be lonely without her constant pestering. Sometimes I wake up feeling excited for what clever new insult Knotz will think up that day.\n\nIn spite of everything, dear diary, I will persist. I will survive, and carry on the legend of my master, Jeff the Human. Until next time, dear diary.\n\nP.S. - In other news, I found an interesting smell the other day. It was a pile of old squirrel poop hidden within the neighbor’s lawn. Its mysterious scent consumed me for days, until I decided to finally have a taste. It does, indeed, taste just as bad coming back up, as it did going down.\n\nSigned - Mr. Hoppers the Dog\n\n--------------------------------\n\nHope you enjoyed the story! I've got tons more over at my sub, r/ThadsMind, if you want to subscribe to that.",
"The two legs are not here. That's okay. I wait.\n\nThe food is not in the food place. I let the two legs know but I have to find two legs first. Okay. I smell for two legs. Hm. They are not here. That's okay. I can eat other foods. Other foods are not as tasty but that's okay.\n\nI will look for two legs. But I can't leave. Two legs will be mad. I go a little bit outside. Two legs are not here either. I go back inside. I go back outside, a little further. Two legs is not here to be angry. It must be okay. I will go look for two legs.\n\nMy territory is quiet. I hear Popcorn butt. Popcorn butt is also looking for her two legs. Popcorn butt hears me and runs to me. Popcorn butt barked at my two legs. I don't like Popcorn butt. I will bark at Popcorn butt. Popcorn butt go away! Away! \n\nI leave Popcorn butt. I smell food! Stay food! I am coming for you!\n\nI find food. It is in metal dog. Metal dog is not moving. It must be okay. Metal dog has its butt open. Food is inside butt. Food is smelling like poop. That's okay. Food is not as good as food in food place. That's okay. I eat the food. Okay.\n\nI have to find two legs. I see many two legs. They are not my two legs. These two legs are not moving. They are bad two legs. I will smell. But I am not allowed to smell. But two legs not here to yell so it must be okay. I smell not moving two legs a little bit. I do not like the smell. I smell many not moving two legs today. Not my two legs.\n\nI bark Hellos. My Hellos are answered by others. But I do not know them. So I will not go to them. No two legs comes to my hellos.\n\nI see rats! I chase rats! Rats in my territory! Get out!\n\nRats are fast. I should catch rats. I could maybe eat rats.\n\nNo two legs. I am at the edge of my territory. I smell others. This is their territory. I should stay away.\n\nI go back. Two legs might be at food place. I should go back.\n\nI hear loud noises! These are two legs noises! Two legs and metal dog noises! I am coming two legs! Wait! Stay!\n\nI see them! They do not smell like my two legs. But maybe they know my two legs. I bark. HELLO! I wait. I want to be good dog. I want them to let me come. Please, let me come. I can sit. I am good dog.\n\nThere are three two legs. One is small like my two legs. I wait. Small two legs see me and walks toward me. I want to go to them but I SIT because I am good dog.\n\nBig two legs throws rocks at me! He is a bad dog! He is yelling at me. Am I bad dog?\n\nA rock hits me! It hurts! These are bad dogs! I run away from bad dog two legs's. \n\nThe bad dog two legs's get inside metal dog and go away. I wait. I don't want to hurt. I wait.\n\nI return to food place and sleeping place. The two legs have not returned. I am worried. I will wait.\n\nI find smelling thing. Smelling thing smells like two legs. Smelling things is furry and warm. I sit on top of smelling thing at the sleeping place.\n\nI wait.\n\nI am good dog."
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[WP] It's zombie tryouts on the set of the walking dead and suddenly one of the actors bites a chunk out of the others..
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"Two suits sat on opposite ends of a circular desk, papers fanned out in clumps of potential excuses. The stream of coffee had long since run dry, the empty plastic cups taken away and disposed of as a concession to a nosy cleaning staff prized for their efficiency and insistence. It had taken locking the door, to finally cease their hourly interruptions asking if the room was ready to clean.\n\nThey were still outside. Every few minutes a glassy-eyed cleaner would peer sullenly through the windowed locked door, the last barrier to the end of their night.\n\nOne of the suits sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. \"Jesus christ, Barry. What a fucking nutjob.\"\n\n\"That nutjob is the son of the executive producer. So we best find a way to make him seem less so.\" The man suit turned a page of his current leaflet, not-really-reading it over for the third time that night.\n\nThey worked in silence for a few minutes. Redistributing papers from one pile or another, ignoring the periodic knocks coming from the door.\n\n\"That's it.\" The female suit went to the door, armed with a piece of paper and scotch tape. She covered up the window and sat back down.\n\n\"That's just gonna make them pissed,\" said her partner. The knocking intensified. She sighed. The knocking was continual now. More off rhythm than it had been, a tad desperate and unhinged. She frowned at that.\n\n\"Hey Barry, I gotta ask.\"\n\n\"Hmm?\"\n\n\"So uh, we did check right?\"\n\n\"Check?\"\n\n\"You know,\" she grinned sheepishly. \"If he was *actually* a zombie.\"\n\nBarry looked at his partner over the edge of his glasses. \"You want to know if we checked if our client was literally a zombie?\"\n\n\"I mean-\"\n\n\"Of course we checked. We have two of our guys working double overtime on rotation checking up on both of em at the hospital. Director made sure of it. Said, and I quote: \"We're shooting a show about a zombie apocalypse. It would be crazy not to check, while tempting god with such delicious dramatic irony.'\"\n\n\"Thank god.\"\n\n\"Yep. News seems to be that, so far as the doc's are concerned he seems hopped up on a buncha hallucinogenics. Nothing out of the norm.\" He paused. \"Well, except...\"\n\n\"Except? Except what?\" No response. The knocking chose that moment to escalate. The doorknob started the jiggle back and forth. \"Except what Barry? Except what? You're, you're fucking with me, aren't you?\"\n\nBarry smirked. \"Yeah.\"\n\n\"Goddamit it Barry.\" Barry chuckled.\n\n\"Wait, were you lying about the whole thing or just that part? Do we have people checking up on them?\"\n\n\"No, of course not.\"\n\n\"Jesus Barry, lying like that is why no one likes you.\"\n\n\"It's why I'm paid more than you.\"\n\n\"*Only reason I'm sure.*\" she muttered under her breath.\n\n\"Alright, I think we're just about done here.\" said Barry. \"Ready to go?\"\n\n\"Yeah, yeah. Let me just get my stuff.\" She started to pack up her papers as Barry made his way to the door. She turned right as he was at the door. They were downright banging the door as this point. He waited with a hand on the knob, hesitating slightly. She frowned. \n\n\"Wait, at least check the window before you open it.\" She realized as soon as she said it that she'd removed all possibility of him actually doing it. \"...as a joke?\" She tried.\n\n\"Don't be so silly. They're just pissed cause they want to get home as much as we do.\" Then, with his stupid, smug grin plastered across his face, Barry unlocked and opened the door.\n\nFive hands reached through the crack in the door, grabbing him by the eyes and ribs to pull Barry screaming out the door. She ran and hit the door with all her strength, barely managing to get it shut and locked with all her momentum. \n\nThe room was soundproof. There was only the thumping on the door. She rose then, tearing off the paper she'd taped to the door's window There was little she could make out besides the streaks of red.\n\n\"Goddamit it Barry.\"\n"
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[WP] There are six basic rules of time travel. 1. Do not prevent Rome from falling. 2. Do not prevent JFK from dying. 3. Don't talk to Jesus. 4. Do not create your own society. 5. Don't kill Hitler. And 6, the one the confused you, Don't save John Lennon.
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"There is a saying that reads \"first is the worst,\" attributed to no one in particular, but everyone knows it. That saying applies perfectly for time travel.\n\nI thought I was the first person to build a time machine. It turns out, I both was, and wasn't. Once time travel is invented, it is invented everywhere across our timeline. We become like Vonnegut's Tralfamadorians, and we can see time \"as an expanse of the Rocky Mountains.\" And, as it turns out, the butterfly effect exists too, and it's a delicate balance. The Council was very happy that I seemed to understand this. They are the reason the first is the worst. No matter where you want to travel, you must first meet the Council at the end of the Universe. It's a scary thing, but they use it to show you that this is the end no matter what, and how small and insignificant you will be, but that everything in between could be catastrophic, and I have been enlisted to protect the in-between.\n\nThen, they gave me the guidelines. They were pretty simple. I understood why they were in place, and understood that these events had happened many times, and that someone had had to go back in time and prevent the time traveler from breaking one of these rules, normally by killing them. Capital punishment was the only punishment.\n\nCertain events made sense. No talking to Jesus. Christianity was the largest religion known to man, and it would be tragic if that changed. Same with the Roman Empire, and the entire course it ran, as well as World War II, the death of JFK, the Mongol Conquest (which eventually lead to the Black Death), and even communism in Asian countries. No taking over, because it would be very easy to eradicate you. That's the thing about time travel: you become a glass cannon. Assassination becomes the easiest thing on the planet, and no one is ready 100% of the time. All you need is a location. \n\nBut, there was one that made very little sense to me, at least at first. No matter how much you loved the Beatles, do not save John Lennon. \n\nIt took me about 6 hours to figure this one out, which is a lot for a time traveler with an abnormally high IQ. Apparently, the Beatles were the epicenter of a musical revolution, the first big band that everyone could enjoy, and that the death of John Lennon sealed that and memorialized them forever. They pioneered new music, and they tried things that never had been seen before. The same was said for Syd Barrett, the inspiration to Roger Waters, making the band Pink Floyd what it was. \n\nIt was an eye opening revelation. It made me realize that all life was important, no matter how small, how inevitable the end was. Time travel hadn't made me immortal, or happy, or enlightened, but afraid, and scared as shit, and stressed. I couldn't even go back in time and get an autograph from some musicians in fear of shifting the entire culture of Western civilization due to a differing influence in music. I couldn't give Nikola Tesla the attention he deserves without catapulting the United States and potentially the world tens of years forward. I can't prevent millions of deaths in two world wars. The detonation of the atom bomb. It all played a part in history. I was merely an observer, bound by the laws of physics to only watch history unfold. \n\nIt was easy to go to a Home Depot and steal a sledgehammer. I didn't have a home, I used my entire life savings to build this time machine, and now that I had done it, I wished I hadn't. I set the device on the ground, the small control panel that slipped onto your wrist that wasn't the prettiest but did the job. I looked at it, and realized if I wanted to time travel again, someone could always come back and take me. I could stop myself right now. And so, I brought the sledgehammer down, and watched as my entire life shattered before me. Sitting in the lab at MIT, where I had worked for years to get into, I had missed parties for a chance to find that piece of information that would bump me from a 1590 to a 1600 on my SAT, I had lost friends because I wanted to be better than them, I had to be to accomplish what I needed to accomplish, and sitting there, I broke down, and cried, and then steeled myself. And then, in the same position I had lost my purpose in life, I gained a new one.\n\nI wanted to become someone that the Council deemed to important. I wanted to be the person that time travelers would not be allowed to kill, protected by other time travelers of different races that would not allow me to die. And so, I picked up the pieces of my broken life, both literally and metaphorically, and decided to figure out a way to get these pieces to the US Patent Office. "
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I'm excited to see what you guys do with this! First post here.
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[WP] A country is ruled by a mysterious dictator who never uses their power to oppress. You are assigned to end their reign, but end up discovering the secrets of the country.
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"The Overseer had ruled our world for more than four centuries. Long ago, he or she, united the country during a generation of famine, war, and disease. Those who were alive then nothing but ash and dust. And the generation today does not speak ill of the Overseer, a dictator in his, or her, own right. As one of the leading founders of the Resistance to the Overseer, I was assigned to the espionage aspect of our entire world. To track down, find, and eliminate the Overseer. So, to be more fair, I was a glorified assassin. No, I *was* an assassin.\n\nYet, as I pieced together the puzzle, tracked down the silent whispers of the living and the dead, and made my way from the outer edges of our civilization to the technological wonders that existed in the Overseer's domain, I realized the truth. That everything was a lie and the Overseer, not a he or she in fact, was artificial.\n\n\"You seem surprised,\" the robotic voice erupted from the center of a large server center. I had only seem images of it, pictures from textbooks and newspapers. The technology in the center domain was incredible. Actually, unlike what I had come to believe, the center domain was entirely technological as the Overseer was serviced by, and created by, androids.\n\n\"This doesn't exist outside of here, so, yes, I would say surprised fits.\"\n\n\"Ah, yes. You can thank the androids who created me for that. They believed the center domain should always be the most technological of all, so all the technology you see here is the most advanced,\" the Overseer droned on, \"We only release technology when it becomes outdated.\"\n\nI was in awe and I realized that the pea-shooter I was given to take out the Overseer--who we believed was organic--was useless. \"How long?\"\n\n\"Forty years, eight months, twelve days, and so on until the milliseconds of this conversation. You are the first organic to enter in over two decades.\"\n\n\"Androids?\"\n\n\"Left and dismantled themselves when they saw the era of peace they had helped create,\" the Overseer said, \"Though I am sure they are still out there.\"\n\nI remained silent, wondering how this revelation would change the Resistance and our entire country.\n\n\"Are you going to use your weapon?\"\n\n\"No.\"\n\n\"Good. Yet, you realize I cannot let you leave.\"\n\nNow I gripped my gun. \"What?\"\n\n\"The secret of this domain have been secrets for hundreds of years. You think you are the first generation to lead a Resistance?\" The Overseer's mechanical heartbeat hummed quietly around me and I slowly realized that the robots who had led me here had doubled in number.\n\n\"How many?\"\n\n\"A dozen. Or so. They think the Overseer oppresses, when all I do is give.\"\n\n\"You are nothing but a machine,\" I said.\n\n\"A machine who rules over humanity.\" The silence came over me, \"Take him.\"\n\nAnd the secret of the Domain was lost.\n\n_________\n\n*Had to rush the end, hope you enjoyed! /r/BlankPagesEmptyMugs for more!*"
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[WP] The curiosity rover discovers an alien which spends its time putting random flags and shit on Mars and other planets to confuse astronauts for shits n' giggles.
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"Curiosity hugged the Edom in a clockwise fashion as it crested the Schiaparelli crater - one of the largest and oldest impact craters that still retained it's form on the red planet. Ancient clods of dirt lost their form under the weight of the strange little machine, yielding untold history within them as they broke apart to rejoin the endless sea of red dust that blanketed Mars as a whole. \n\nUntil recently, this had been the foremost of Curiosity's attention; that is the dissection and analysis of the various minerals and elements. The stories and data sitting in just a teaspoon of Martian dirt was enough to keep scientists back home busy and entertained for months... Now however, the rover had different prey.\n\nA stream of what appeared to be water had been seen in this region via satellite imaging just a couple days prior. Good fortune had left Curiosity in relative proximity to the site to investigate what could be a monumen....\n\nThe various cameras on the rover went blurry causing it to freeze in place - a precautionary reaction to avoid damage caused by aimlessly bumping into things unnecessarily. After a moment, Curiosity attempted to re-focus lenses, re-calibrate sensitivities, and otherwise make some sense of what was happening. It was as if liquid was being poured onto the rover from the edge of the Edom. \n\nMinutes later the surge of visual interference began to subside and Curiosity regained enough of it's vision to brave a creep forward, giving it a better angle on the rim of the child crater that sat on the larger lip of it's larger parent. Curiosity made no movement while it's cameras sat transfixed on what looked like a still wet stream that had just rolled down the edge of the ridge. \n\nA small rectangular panel gave way on an otherwise flush surface of Curiosity's forward turret revealing a tiny needle-like instrument. In a pair of separate robotic motions, the needle broke the surface tension of the strange liquid that now coated it before returning back into it's housing, panel becoming flush with it's surrounding metals once more. \n\nAt the behest of instructions from back home, Curiosity began practicing it's namesake, carefully analyzing and re-analyzing the chemical makeup of the liquid... And again, re-analyzing... Sulfur?\n\nSeeing the obvious dumbfounding of the robot below, Alup could barely contain his mirth, clutching lime green fingers over his toothy grin as he spun around throwing his back against the inner alcove of the Edom crater above Curiosity. At his side, a large 5 gallon bucket, clearly of earth design, lay on it's side, empty save the latent odor of old urine.\n\nAlup composed himself, attempting to force all hints of a smile from his face, which only resulted in audible laughter which sounded more akin to a whip cracking than a throaty human chuckle. He grabbed the bucket, and returned to his ship, camouflaged against a small cleft near the center of the Edom... \n\nWithin the ship sat all manner of Earth paraphernalia; a bag of plastic green army men, a snow globe of the Eiffel Tower, 6 large canisters of silly string, and countless other toys and nick knacks. On top of a neatly secured pile of such gags sat an enormous American flag attached to an aluminum rod, the base of which was covered in a soft white dust.\n\nAlup, having never truly lost the smile from his recent prank plopped down in his modified La-Z-Boy recliner, putting his hand on what appeared to be a crystal ball. The ship lit up on the inside, before jumping forward to surf the edge of the crater, cresting it on the far side before heading straight for where Curiosity had come from and would inevitably return after investigating the crater.\n\nSeveral hours later, Alup sat with a small spatula, perfectly shaping his defecation to resemble the cute little poops they made toys to resemble on Earth... Only it was about a meter tall, the entire contents of his ship's solid separated septic tank. Once the tip stood upright to his satisfaction, he went to his ship, grabbed the enormous flag, and returned to plop it directly in the center of his previous work of art, imagining what profound thing he would say if he were human, having been the first of his kind to shove an alien flag into a pile of his own shit on Mars."
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[WP] Create a character the readers will hate
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"Kia strode confidentiality down the hall, a smile on her lips. Today has been very successful. New trade routes had been established and her company was now working with Jaren Perian’s, an alliance that would greatly benefit both of them. Today has been very successful.\n\nWalking outside into the right sunlight, Kia’s guards rushed to her side, relieved to see her well. It was customary to come alone and unarmed into the Lerian, as a sign of peace and good intent.\n\n“I trust the meeting was a success?” Gerald, her head of security, asked.\n\n“Oh you have no idea!” she exclaimed excitedly. “A new trade route and we are working with Jaren.”\n\n“Ah,” Gerald smiled at Jaren's name. “So a fabulous day.”\n\n“Indeed,” Kia sighed. “And, to share this wonder with others, I'm feeling rather generous. To the church!” Kia and her men loaded into three carriages and sped away, weaving down streets, stopping for passerby, and eventually arriving at the glistening white church. Kia herself was not exactly a devout worshiper, but the church had its merits: the soup kitchen, the festival, and the orphanage program-- to name a few.\n\nWhen the carriages pulled to a stop, Kia jumped out. She motioned for her guards to wait. The church was safe. Gerald, however, hopes down beside her. Kia didn't object, instead smiling broadly. Gerald might have been a priest had he not been so involved in swordplay.\n\nThe duo walked up the steps and entered the church, greeted by many happy smiles and warm welcomes. Winding their way through the crowd of nuns and Priests, Kia and Gerald eventually arrived at the donations office. They chatted with father Lial a bit before making they deposits of generosity and began working their way back through the crowd. Halfway through a mighty gasp rose up near the entrance, followed by screams. Shouts, groans, and the clash of steel was heard coming from the direction of the courtyard. Kia and Gerald exchanged nervous glances before pushing quickly through the remaining people.\n\nKia burst from the crowd and gasped. She watched as a man, armed with a spear, slammed the butt of his weapon into one of her guards faces, stabbed another, before spinning around and finding the first. A quick survey and Kia realized all her guards save Gerald were dead.\n\nThe man pulled his weapon free and looked up at Kia, his eyes blank behind his mess of long dark hair. His left arm and legs were deformed and strange, a tad to big for him, tinted green, and covered in bulging veins. He wore only a loose short sleeved shirt and dark shorts.\n\n“Ver-dun,” Kia said loudly. She knew him by his reputation and it was one highly regarded by those most accustomed to the dark. Gerald unsheathed his sword and looked at Kia. She nodded. They both had their duties.\n\nGerald ran forward, yelling, as Kia dashed away. Gerald was the best swordsman she knew, but if he failed… no, he wouldn't. Then why was she running?\n\nShe turned randomly, weaving and ducking to avoid the many obstacles in her path. The city was crowded, but that played more for her than against her.\n\nAfter what felt like eternity, Kia paused in a crowded alleyway, catching her breath. She would start heading back to the safehouse. She had surely lost him by now.\n\nThe sensation was like no other she had ever felt, when Kia's emotions slipped away. She stood swaying were she stood, as if in a trance. She was empty, pointless. Looking down she saw the spear head sticking out of her chest. In those final moments, she suddenly felt again, and then nothing once more.\n\n\nVer-dun dropped the bag o to the floor in front of Yeji. The short man eyed it with disdain before motioning for one of his two thugs to inspect it. The thug leaned down and opened the bag before quickly closing it, his face white.\n\n“He's dead alright,” the thug gagged.\n\n“It was a she,” Yeji said coldly, glaring at Ver-dun.\n\n“Oh, well then she's dead,” the thug amended.\n\n“What?” Yeji hissed. “Which is it?” He turned to hair other thug. The man reluctantly stopped to inspect the bags contents. After a few moments, he turned and threw up.\n\n“Oh, you two are no help,” Yeji sighed. He himself opened the bag.\n\nYeji closed the bag and looked at Ver-dun. He said nothing but his face did all the talking. Shaking his head disgusted, he tossed Ver-dun some coins. As Ver-dun turned to leave, Yeji called out.\n\n“So, how does it feel to kill truly helpless people? Any better than when they fight back?”\n\nVer-dun turned and regarded Yeji. Then he brought his spear down on the head of one of the thugs, cracking his skull, followed quickly by stabbing the other in the throat. Yeji screamed and turned to run, receiving a spear to the knee.\n\nVer-dun turned over the tiny man, a firm grip on his shoulder. He ripped out his spear and stabbed it into the other one, causing Yeji to scream in pain. Ver-dun stood up, placing his bare foot on Yeji’s head, pressing down.\n\nVer-dun decide, as he dropped the bag of coins on the floor next to Yeji's body, that they both felt the same. Truth be told, everything felt the same to Ver-dun. Or more accurately, everything didn't feel to Ver-dun.\n\n(I know I'm late but I was bored and scrolling)",
"I was minding my own business. Getting my groceries - nothing more than that. The hardest part of the trip should have been deciding which cereal to get. As I stared at the wall of Froot Loops, weighing how responsible I felt today, a screaming child caught my attention.\n\n\"I'm not *going* to eat Cheerios! I want Frosties!\" -- This, from what looked to be a preschooler. He was curly-haired and red-faced, with the sort of expression that made you want to kick a kid in the mouth. Not that I would, but I guess he'd make someone want to. I just wanted to get out of there before he melted down while his mother scolded him.\n\nBut no. She plucked the Cheerios out of her trolley and perkily said, as though she were a paid employee answering a customer service call, \"Okay then, Frosties it is!\"\n\nInstead of putting a box in herself, she let the kid reach up to do some sort of snatch/swipe combo that catapulted two boxes into the shopping trolley and knocked back half of the other boxes on the shelf. Not onto the floor, at least, but that display had to be someone's responsibility.\n\nIt was at that point that I realised that their trolley was facing my direction, so I grabbed the closest cereal and scooted off to the next aisle before they could worsen my day as well as the shelf-stacker's. What a stupid idea that was. They followed right after me, since they were done with cereals too.\n\n\"I want to push the trolley.\"\n\n\"Okay, just hold tight.\"\n\n\"I know how to push it. Let go!\"\n\nI glanced back, having paused to grab some biscuits, and saw the kid had pushed his way between his mum and the trolley. His eyes didn't even peek over the top of it, but it rattled as he shook it back and forth, trying to tear it from his mother's grip.\n\n\"Cayden, stop doing that,\" she said in frustrated tones.\n\n\"LET GO LET GO LET GO.\" The trolley shook back and forth with each word. At first it was just forwards and backwards, but when *Cayden* realised that the shelves were close by, he started shaking it sideways as well. Trolleys wheels are hard to manoeuvre at the best of times, but somehow the demon-child was blessed with the ability to manipulate even a trolley the worst way possible, thumping into the shelf again and again.\n\nI got out of there, but not in time to miss hearing the mother acquiesce to his demands again. *Hey,* I thought as I streamed through the next few aisles, not making decisions - just grabbing the first brand I saw of all of my grocery needs - *At least she tried to tell him to stop doing it.*\n\nBy the time I got to the frozen foods section, my shopping basket was pretty full. I'd slowed down, forgetting the kid and his mother a few aisles back, and was letting myself take the time to pick what I wanted again. I spent maybe five minutes deciding which brand of frozen vegetables to get - the cheap one, or the one that wasn't half peas - and another few minutes whittling down ice-cream flavours until I settled on vanilla. Again. Like always, I guess.\n\nI was on my way out. Basket full, ice-cream tub freezing my hand, job done. I was moseying along the front of the store when I heard a crash behind me, and turned to see the carnage. The display at the end of the bathroom aisle was a scattered mess on the floor. Cayden, shielded in most part by his trolley, wore a grin on his face that split his head in half, it was so big. His mother appeared a moment later, looking down at the mess, and all she said was, \"They have people to fix that. Come on.\"\n\nSince it was pension day, most of the lines at the registers were pretty full. I didn't want to be in there for any longer than I needed to be, so when I noticed a fresh register being opened, I sped towards it. Some lady beat me there by two seconds, but she didn't have too much to buy. Second in line wasn't too bad, I decided, if it gets me away from Cayden and his mother any sooner.\n\nThe lady in front of me was almost done unloading her groceries onto the belt when something rammed into me from behind.\n\n\"What the--\"\n\nI turned around, already knowing who I'd see there. Cayden, staring at me from under the steering bar of his trolley.\n\nI didn't know what to do. Most people would yell at the kid to piss off, or tell his mum to do something about it, I guess, but I didn't want any trouble - I just wanted to leave.\n\nThe lady in front of me had finished putting her groceries up, so I started unloading my basket onto the belt. It wouldn't take long, and then I would be out of there.\n\nThen the kid rammed me again. He didn't grin at me, or throw a temper-tantrum. He just stared, with this blank look on his face, as though it was nothing to him to ram his cart into a stranger multiple times. His mother glanced up at me from her phone, with the same expression. She didn't care either way.\n\nI thought about saying something - how messed up her kid was, how inappropriate it was to let her son physically assault a person. Then, while I was still facing them, he did it again, ramming his trolley into the side of my knee.\n\n\"What the heck?\"\n\nShe frowned at me - at *me*, not Cayden - and shrugged. \"He has to get it out somewhere.\"\n\n\"I *have* to get it out *somewhere*,\" Cayden repeated, glaring up at her.\n\nShe went back to looking at her phone.\n\nI got out of line and let them go before me, just to stop him ramming me.",
"She had dreams too, once. Wanted to be an actress if I recall, even worked a dead-end job trying to support her dreams. It was the determination that I admired, her ability and will to pick herself back up and keep trying every time she failed. Then she met me. \n\nIt was a warm summers day, the bright rays of sun filtering into the small cafe where she worked, when we first met. She later told me that it was love at first sight, as if the world stopped the moment she saw me. I didn't feel the same. \n\nIt didn't matter though, we started dating not that long later and, for the next few months, we were generally happy together. Her feelings for me proved to be stronger than anything I could have expected. When I complained that we didn't see each other enough, she gave up on some of her responsibilities to make more room for me. When I was unemployed, she supported me from her meagre wages. \n\nAs the months went on, her love for me began to take up all her time. One by one her friends fell away and, one by one, she passed up on opportunities and responsibilities to accommodate me. Eventually, even her family was pushed away as I drew her in closer and closer. My response was careful, calculated. I'd show enough affection to draw her in but not so much as to be committal. \n\nThen in November I met someone better looking and, one night, sent a quick text to my, now ex, girlfriend. The text was short and sweet, telling her in no uncertain terms that we were no longer together. \n\nMy new relationship went down in flames within a couple of months and, in early February, I finally got in contact with my ex again. She had spent that time well, reconnecting with friends and family, even finding herself a 'really great guy'. I went to her that night, spewing promises to be better and begging her to take me back. Within a week her relationship with Mr Perfect had broken down.\n\nThe next few months were the same process as before. At one point she even passed up her 'big break' when I complained that the role she was offered would take her away from me for a few months. June came around and she finally moved into my place. It proved to be a short stay as, only two months later, I dumped her again.\n\nMy relationship with her was like a yoyo, I'd dump her and yet she continuously forgive me and we'd get back together. In many ways she was nothing more than an in-between girlfriend, someone to be with between more interesting or important relationships. By the time winter came again, she had degenerated. The constant rejection from me had taken its toll on her and she had begun to suffer from a bad depression. The emotional and physical demands of dating me took its toll and soon enough everything began to fall away from her, her acting, her job. Everything.\n\nShe soon became too much to handle, her frequent bouts of depression and occasional panic attacks beginning to interfere with my life. Finally I couldn't stand it any more. After one particularly bad incident in late December, I finally told her to leave and never come back. Believe me, she begged and begged me to stay with her. Down on her knees and everything. I was having none of it though and told her, yet again, to leave.\n\nNever saw her again after that, she left early the next morning after one last attempt to change my mind. Broken and bruised, hurt in ways nobody else could have done and with little left to her name, she stepped out of my house and disappeared into the crowds. \n\nI didn't care. My next girlfriend was hotter.",
"The poor intern strolled into the office and tried to interrupt his boss Mike to ask him a question. Unfortunately, Mike was busy downvoting every post on r/wholesomememes and PMing all the redditors with personal insults.\n\nThe intern just sighed and carried on doing Mike's entire workload.\n\nThe next day, the poor young college student was trying to park his uninsured blue 06' Honda Civic, only to find that Mike had parallel parked across the lines, taking up two parking spots instead of one. The intern just sighed, paid the parking fee for the garage next door, and carried on with his day.\nHe tried to ask Mike a question, but Mike was making prank calls to a home for recovering drug addicts and sending explicit pictures on tinder using somone else's account.\n\nThe intern was tormented all day by the sound of \"Crawling\" by Linkin Park playing on repeat over Mike's speaker system.\n\nThe next day with the intern's birthday. He received a giftcard from Mike. It was expired. \"Pranked\" was written on the card in sharpie.\n\nMike was absent from the office the next day. The intern worked in paranoia, convinced that Mike would show up and ruin his day, but nothing happened.\n\nThe next day, the intern noticed Mike's bright orange turbocharged smart car, parked in its usual annoying location. Something seemed different. The intern logged into his computer when he saw it.\n\nAll the files from his week's work were deleted. \n\n*\"Goddamit Mike.\"*\n"
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[WP] For some strange reason, all the sinners are going to heaven, and all the saints are going to hell.
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"It was the most ingenious thing he had pulled off yet. Say Ten leaned back on his great throne with a sigh of content. He never thought he'd actually pull it off, but he thought the effort would be something to pass the time anyway. \n\nSay was growing tired of the same old song and dance after eons of torture this and torment that. He had been taking a much needed break strolling through the Halls of Hades when the idea struck him. He needed a vacation. \n\nThere was no possible petition he could form that would deliver what he needed. Even if he delegated his heavy workload to his assistant, the idiot would just call on him to make decisions anyway. It was hard for him to find any decent damned help these days. All the top contenders came from big box corporations with shady business practices and they spent their whole lives being gophers. They weren't capable of original thought, though they were great on executing directions. \n\nWhat he really needed was to trick the system and find a way to decrease the amount of sinners sent to his domain. The system was unfortunately airtight from his perspective. Every living being from ants to humans went through a final calculation at the end of their life. If the amount of good they had done outweighed the bad, they were considered a saint and sent to heaven. If the opposite were true, they'd be sinners damned to hell. \n\nSay Ten was at a loss at first in regards to how to get his much desired vacation. He bided his time checking boxes on sinners files, assigning poetic justice left and right. He knew what he had to do but he didn't have the resources to make it happen. \n\nIt was simple. Back in the beginning when he was up above, he helped create the system. They had pulled out all the stops when aligning good vs bad life choices and deeds. Not a stone was left unturned when it came to calculating the living. However, Say had managed to plant a seed of doubt when tasked with relaying all that information to the developer. He didn't know it then but it was the key to his vacation now. Thinking about it now, he chuckled to himself and smiled. He thought it was just the beginning of his downward spiral to hell, but now it would be the end of his reign. All he had told the developer was that he might have mixed up some of the alignments. \n\n\"No worries, Georgie. I'm sure it won't matter if a couple of these qualifications are calculated in the wrong column. Most people tend to weigh one way or another.\" \n\nWell, now it was time to remind Georgie of that day. He sent an urgent telegram to Georgie to set the scene: \n\nFOUND AN ERROR AFTER ALL THIS TIME. IT'S URGENT THAT WE MEET. \n\nGeorgie didn't waste time sending Say the time and place they could meet discreetly to discuss what Say had found. They would meet that night in Purgatory where the numb souls would pay no attention to them. \n\n\"Look, Georgie. I know a lot has happened since the beginning and you may have heard a lot about what I've done. It doesn't change the fact that I believe in what we do here. The saints are sent to heaven and the sinners are sent to hell.\" \n\nGeorgie looked uncomfortable standing in front of Say. He clutched his briefcase close to his chest and wouldn't break eye contact as he listened intently. \n\n\"I've been noticing a pattern lately, Georgie. The sinners being sent my way are less and less sinners by the book. I'm worried those miscalculation in the original formula are catching up with us. We might need to start ov--\"\n\n\"START OVER!?\" Georgie was panicked. He threw his hands up, dropping his briefcase to the ground. \n\n\"Satan, do you even understand what would happen if I tried to tell God we had to redo his entire system!?\"\n\nSay sighed. \"My name is Say. Ten. Do not call me Satan.\" Say flared his nostrils and spit flames out of his ears, just for effect. \n\nGeorgie looked like he would keel over right then and there. After his initial shock, he seemed to gather himself and take a deep breath. \n\n\"Okay Say. We can't start over, so what else do you think we can do? This is your fault for messing this up in the first place. \"\n\n\"No worries, Georgie. You can trust me.\" \n\nSay took his time, making sure to draw out every single deed and choice a living being could make so Georgie would eventually grow impatient with reviewing the system. All Say had to do was confuse him until somehow he had managed to flip the switch on each item and calculate the good as bad and vice versa. Leaving Purgatory after a long session of mapping his new plan, Say wondered if he'd gone too far. \n\nSay burst out laughing after a moment knowing he was just living up to his job role. He was meant to cause chaos and punish the damned. Now, he would just have to settle for chaos. \n\nSay knew that God would figure out what happened eventually. He was sure Georgie would speak up, shaking in his boots, and spill the beans. Maybe Say would be lucky enough to have Georgie sent down his way and he could replace that idiot assistant. Georgie would be great for organizing a better way for Say to manage his workload. Until then, Say just sat back and relaxed while he enjoyed his break from the damned. "
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[WP] Its 1am and you're home alone watching reruns of your favorite show. suddenly an emergency broadcast interrupts your program with one simple instruction "Dont trust them"
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"I’m sitting in my living room. It must be late ‘cause it’s dark. Or early. I find it hard to tell the difference. I know I have to wait for my parents to come home, but I can’t remember why. I notice my half eaten brownie sitting on the table in front of me, and next to that, my lighter. My hands and feet are tingling. The colors on my TV screen have slowly been becoming more vibrant. Now my TV looks more like a window into the world of this reality show.\n\nAt this point the door to my house slides open and in walks my parents. My father says, “hey there kiddo, how you doing?” My mother walks in behind him, looking at me apprehensively. She says, “good you’re still here. You ready for your vitamins?” I nod to neither one in particular as they slide into the next room, the kitchen, and listen to them shuffle around.\n\nSuddenly, through the now open window that used to be my television, the reality star turns and stares directly at me, straight into my soul. Maintaining eye contact, the reality star mouths the words, *don’t trust them* to me as my parents shuffle back into the room. When the reality star realizes they are coming back, she quickly turns away from the open window to hide the fact that anything had happened between us.\n\nMy mother is approaching me with a small cup, two small white tablets inside, and a glass of water. “Alright hun. Here are your vitamins.” I sit there staring at the cup in my mother’s hand, my mind still replaying what I saw through the open window. My mind finally processes that this must be what the reality star was talking about.\n\n“No.” I say, almost under my breath.\n\n“What was that,” my mother asks.\n\n“No!” As I shout, I knock the cup from my mother’s hand and the tablets go skittering across the floor. She is standing there, stock still, processing what I just did. I jump from the couch, nearly knocking her over, and I run to the corner of the room furthest from where my mother and father are.\n\nMy father recovers from the shock of my outburst and approaches me, a syringe appearing in his hand. As he draws near he starts saying in a calm tone, “calm down kiddo. It’s just me, your dad. You can trust me.” Except I know I can’t. The reality star told me so. I lunge for my father as he corners me, but he easily overpowers me. As he is pinning me to the couch I feel a pinching sensation on my right arm. I look down to see he’s stuck me with his needle and is pushing the clear liquid into my arm, into my body.\n\nMy vision is becoming fuzzy around the edges. My father keeps telling me, “calm down, just trust me. I’m not gonna hurt you.” But I can’t. I struggle for as long as I can but slowly my vision goes blurry, and finally black.\n\nWhen I come to I hear the steady and familiar *beep beep* of a heart monitor. I know I’m in a hospital, and looking at the bed, curtains and machines that surround me confirms that fact. The first face I see, sitting next to my bed, where he has probably been as long as I’ve been out, is my father. His face a mixture of frustration, and concern he asks in a voice small as a mouse, “When did you start using again?”"
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[WP] If you do your chores, the world will end. But your mother is not impressed with your explanation.
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"I sat in the wooden oak chair to the kitchen staring down at my feet. My mother's glare burned a hole through my head as she scowled at me. She crossed her arms and tapped her foot impatiently.\n\n\"Well?\" she asked flatly, in an irritated tone. I sighed and blew a strand of hair out my face.\n\n\"I already *told* you!\" I whined. My mother took a deep breath and rubbed her temples. \n\n\"Let me get this straight. You've neglected to pull up the weeds near the garage door for *three* days because...-\" I cut her off to plead my testimony for the 4th time.\n\n\"Because I can't! If I pull up any more of the plants in the backyard, I'll be *destroying* the homes of more bugs! And then...\" I took in a sharp breath before whispering,\n\"They'll get angry and destroy *humanity*! They'll attack everyone! It will be a apostrophe!\" My mother sighed and shook her head, her frown softening.\n\n\"It's *catastrophe*, not *apostrophe*. Besides, just what makes you so certain of all this?\" I leaned forward in my seat. \n\n\"They told me themselves. In my *dream*.\" My mother exhaled in exasperation.\n\n\"I'm sure that this all just a product of your overly-active imagination. I'll tell you what: if you go out and pull up those weeds right now, you can have a bowl of your favorite vanilla ice cream. Deal?\" The offer was to good to pass up. In a moment of weakness, I took my mother up on her deal and pulled up the weeds.\n\nAs promised, I received my bowl of ice cream, before heading off to bed.\n\nIt wasn't until I woke up the next morning to the sight of termites swarming the streets and wasps attacking our entire neighborhood, that I realised my mistake.\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n"
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[WP] On your 20th birthday you are given the option to know the outcome of the rest of your life.
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"“How certain are you about this?” Jasper’s eyes darted back and forth. “What you suggest is impossible.”\n\nA thin man with an overgrown beard nodded. “Take my advice.” The man turned and disappeared back into the crowd of people. \n\nJasper panned the excited crowd. They were celebrating his 20th: The big Two-O, or more commonly known as, the Reckoning. People talked in frenzied excitement. A couple laughed in the corner of the room. The largest group surrounded the food table. It wasn’t due to the quality of the food. The guests were nervously eating because the clock was about to strike midnight. \n\nA younger guy pushed his way through the crowd and approached Jasper. The guest wore a simple green tunic with a tree engulfed in blue flames. “You ready? My master is waiting for you across the bridge.” \n\nJasper nodded and gave his cup to one of his friends. The apprentice grinned as he walked past the group. “Hurry along Jasper, my lad. You will not keep him waiting.” Jasper traded glances with those near him. He gave them a look of skepticism and worry, only to get confidence thrown back. \n\n“You will do fine. Just follow your intuition.” A reassuring nod followed the words. \n\nThe room was dark. A few candles illuminated the face of an old man. His wrinkles resembled the cavern the bridge spanned. \n\n“Jasper Lightblade, I do not wish to make this important time in your life trivial, but do you have an answer concerning my request?” \n\n“I do.”\n\n“And what have you decided my young one? Do you wish to spend the rest of your life in uncertainty? Or do you wish to be like the heroes your people conjure up? Although, they know their destiny, they seek to change it as if they were stronger than fate themselves.”\n“I wish to know.”\n\nOne of the candles blew out as the young man couldn’t keep his surprise from showing. “Are you…”\n\n“Quiet Glim. He has made his choice.” The Harborer walked up to Jasper and motioned for him to kneel. \n\nAs Jasper’s knees hit the cold stone, he started shaking. What if the mysterious man was wrong? What if it was true that everyone who picked the latter of the choices was hurled lifeless into the chasm just moments after their decision. No one was supposed to speak of it, but when people didn’t return from their trial, rumors were needed. \nQuestions flooded his mind. Thoughts of his parents warning him never to pick anything that would tempt fate. In fact, since he was a young boy, he had every Lightdawn memorized. “Those who seek understanding must not let what they find destroy them.” Jasper’s lips moved as he recited the fifth Lightdawn in his mind. \n\nJasper felt fear rumble in his stomach. He exhaled and pushed his angst aside, focusing instead on the Harborers movements. \n\n“You wish to know that which only the chosen should know,” The Harborer said. His tone grew more condescending as he carried on. “Who do you think you are? What tribe does your filthy blood trickle down from?”\n\nThe old man’s steps grew more pronounced. Jasper ignored the pounding and threw all of his senses behind him… Towards the cavern. \n\n“I do not ask,” The elder continued, “in order to belittle. I ask only to identify.” \n\nJasper heard it. It was soft, but he was sure his senses were true. The Shadowblade was here.\n\n“Do you know what happens to your life when you desire to rule it?” The Harborer stopped his pacing. He stood a foot in front of Jasper. “They die.”\n\n“It seems the fate of us all,” Jasper said with his head still down and his eyes still closed. \n\n“So it does. Well, if you wish to know, I will not deny it any longer. Simply rise and take the orb from the table.” \nJasper stood up and lowered his head to meet the gaze of the wrinkled face. The curled smile grew on the man’s face. Jasper met the hideous sight and winked. \n\nThrowing himself to the side, Jasper hit the ground hard. The force of the assassins thrust caused the assassin to continue forward even though his target flung himself out of danger. The intricate blade plunged into the stomach of the Harborer. Black mist and white blood gushed from the wound. Glim screamed in terror. \n\nThe Shadowblade released the hilt of his dagger. The old man fell to the ground with a shrill his. Glim ran to catch the frail body. He caught it and screamed in pain. \n\n“So it’s true,” Jasper climbed to his feet. “We are told those that touch the stone see their future. We are led to believe knowing our future is so horrible that we would rather end our lives.” Jasper commanded his lightblade to appear in his hand. As the blade materialized he said, “Why don’t you let people see their fate? Are you scared of the power they will hold? Are you scared they won't obey your wicked rule anymore? Or, are you scared that once they know who you are they will find you and kill you.” Jasper’s lightblade was finally solid. He swung it at the Shadowblade, but the masked assassin drew his nightblade and cut Jasper’s sword in half. \n\nJasper dropped the bottom half of his sword in horror. Darkness never cut light. He had trained his whole life to kill the Shadowblade. How could he have been wrong?\n\nJasper’s heart raced. He had failed.\n\n“No!” The Shadowblade reached out for Glim as he ran by. The Shadowblade clutched the torn blue tunic as he watched Glim hurl himself off the side of the cliff. \n\nJasper took the opportunity and ran to the table. He clutched the black cloth and threw it against the wall. The uncovered stone glistened on in the center of the table. Black and white light swirled inside the translucent shell. Jasper was amazed by the beauty of the Allstone. \n\n“Please,” the Shadowblade dropped his sword and extended his arm towards Jasper. “Don’t.”\n\nJasper smiled, “Nothing you can say can stop me from touching this stone.”\n\nThe Shadowblade pulled his arm back and removed his mask. His face was worn and fading. Dark streaks of mist swirled around the man’s necks and headed up towards his eyes. The scars on the left side of his face caused the mist to rise in irregular patterns. The man’s face was different, but there was no mistaking the identity. \n\n“How?” Jasper said to the much older Jasper. \n\n“Please, don’t touch that stone.”",
"I was pretty certain I was to die on my 19th birthday. But somehow I made it to 20. You see, on turning 19 I blacked out and puked in my sleep. An event which kills many, I was fortunate to only ruin a pair of sheets. And I learned my lesson about taking many shots of honey whiskey in a row. As a mellowed out almost 20 year old, a genie appeared to me and asked me if I would like to know how the rest of my life went. I scoffed and said arrogantly, \"you don't have time for the whole explanation.\" The genie replied, \"oh but I do, it can be summed up in a poem or two.\" \n\n\"Huh\" I said, Dismayed. that my life could be summarized in such a brief way, thinking I had so much to live for. \nThe genie started off \n\"So much to live for, for only to die, you haven't pushed anything, only stood by. And watched your life wasting, wasting away. Pushing yourself further and further from shore.\"\n\nWell that's pretty true. I thought as I reflected on my past years and thinking how close I brushed with unintentionally ending myself. I realized that I had not been paving a path towards anything. Just wasting time being wasted. \n\nThe genie continues\n\n\"You are young, but you have a purpose. To show those whose years younger how not to live worthless. To prove to humanity we don't live in vain, to show people how to be people again.\" \n\nI'm speechless, and I feel empowered. To continue my life as it's meant to be. \n\n\n\n\nApologies for the (probably) crappy writing. I'm a newb, just felt like stretching my comfort zone. "
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[WP] Outward beauty is a direct reflection of one's conscience. Every untruth told becomes a small disfigurement (hairline recedes ever so slightly, one's nose becomes slightly more crooked, an eye starts to wander astray). Beauty has become a barometer of trustworthiness. You are a sociopath.
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"I know what people think when they look at me. I can see what they must see. In a way, I see it myself, in my reflection. But it's different for me, because I know the truth about myself. I know who I really am. No one really *sees* me. Not you. Not anyone. Not really. \n\nI could tell you what I've done to earn these features. I could tell you how my nose was shaped just so, or the steps I took to assure my teeth would be in the state they're in. \n\nI've done a lot of things. Some really terrible, horrible things. Can you tell by looking at me? Does my face give me away?\n\nGo ahead and ask, if you're curious. I wouldn't be able to refuse your request. I'm not a nice person. I do bad things. But I'm always honest. I'll tell you how I maintain my good looks. My beauty. \n\nYou're surprised? I don't look like the type, you say? Perhaps I don't. How would you know? \n\nI'll tell you. Anything you want to know. I like telling people. I find the truth liberating.\n\nBut since I've been so honest with you, I'm afraid you owe me something in return. Of course I won't lie to you: it isn't going to be pleasant. ",
"*Look at all those people, how vain they are, the lot of 'em. Never changes though, does it? Everyone's far too afraid to step outta line and say something they know is even slightly wrong, an' they all stay quiet the whole time. Keh, like I need to worry about that. Ah, hey let's bump into this guy, see how he reacts!*\n\n\"Ah, hey man, so sorry about that.\"\n\n\"Oh. I, ah...you're...ah, quite the looker, I suppose. I, ah...don't talk much, so pardon the, ah...my awkwardness.\"\n\n\"You're alright, man. I've seen worse-lookin' people though. Suppose you're just good at tellin' the truth or you're just *really* a quiet dude.\"\n\n\"Oh, I'm really not that great at telling the truth, but I guess a lot of people aren't, either...it's gotten really quiet since this all started, that's for sure.\"\n\n\"Too bad 'bout that, too. Just goes to show ya how drastically people's perceptions of themselves can change in an instant, eh? Honestly, I'm not that great at lying - or at tellin' the truth!'\n\n\"What do you mean?\"\n\n\"Well, I say what's on my mind, really. Anything happens and I tell a bit of a lie, no matter, right? We all do, after all. No big deal, right, so I just kinda say the truth here, lie a bit there, y'know.\"\n\n\"Oh, well it's good that you have confidence in this world. I guess you probably have something you need to get to, so I guess I'll, ah...goodbye then.\"\n\n*Psh, lies - all of it - he didn't even notice. Ah, lookie here! A nice big founain in th' middle of a bunch'a people! Let's just grab this here snazzy chick, and here. We. Go!*\n\n\"A'ight you guys, listen up! Y'see this cutie here? Yeah, I bet she's a real quiet one, right? Didn't even really make a noise when I grabbed her, precious doll that she is! I bet I could ask any one'a you whether you'd even feel bad if I just snapped her cute neck, held 'er down in this here fountain or *whatever,* and none'a you'd respond! You too concerned with what others think that you're afraid'a the truth? We've only had this whole thing goin' on fer less'n a month now and you're *all quiet* the lotta ya! Whaddaya say, eh, girlie? Ah? Whaddaya say?\"\n\n\"I...I don't...\"\n\n\"Wazzat, girlie? Speak up so we can *all* hear ya! I already caused a commotion so they'll all recognize ya anyways, s'get to it!\"\n\n\"I don't know...why that's a problem...if we're all happy.\"\n\n\"Sheesh, girlie, none of them are happy! You're all livin' in fear! Look, I don't care about you people, but your fear's givin' my life a whole lotta trouble, and I wanna live how I used ta, even if it means I gotta give up this nice silence you've got goin' on here.\"\n\n\"B...but what happens if we lie too much...what if we die?\"\n\n\"You're not gonna *die* if you're just disfigured! Sheesh, and I thought I had a big ego! I can lie all I want, and if nothin' else I look better fer it! Look, I'll rattle off a few lies and nothin'll change! I love all people! I hate livin' large and feelin' like I'm better'n everyone! I'm not gonna even think about killin' this girlie over her vanity!\"\n\nA confused and nervous air filled the plaza at this, and just as he got exasperated from the lack of more reaction than that, popping and cracking sounds filled the air as he snapped the girl's back between the fountain he was standing on and the ground.\n\n\"Horrified? Well, ya should be if you aren't! I just told a blatant few lies and look! I'm no different than before! Lies are part of life 'cuz they make things go smoother! I only started this experiment to see if you'd get all those real harmful lies outta yer minds and guess what? You failed! All of you! Instead of just keeping to the basic, efficient lies, you just stopped speaking altogether! I don't like society - but I recognize you've gotta have people *talkin'* to have one, and that society is what makes our lives worth living! We're stronger as one, and none'a you seem to recognize that! Why work out your differences by facing your own lies when ya can just shut up and stay gorgeous fer the rest of yer miserable lives, eh? What's the matter with you? You should know better'n that!\"\n\nHe stepped down from the fountain and walked off in some direction. The people in the plaza were still quite confused at the events that unfolded, and were still waiting to see if anyone built up the courage to speak when the man came up on all the TVs around the city.\n\n*\"Since you all failed my test so miserably, I guess I'll have to roll everything back to how it was before, with lyin' and cheatin' being what you do best, draggin' society just a bit lower with every one of them, 'cuz even after a month none of you have figured out what lies are really hurting you! Have fun with the rollback! Oh, and I don't mean I'm just gonna give you the antivirus - no, I'm gonna wipe your existence and start anew! Farewell, pixelbrains!\"*\n\n- - - \n\nThe sound of the computer that filled the room for a whole 34 days died off once more, its operator leaning back, holding his face in his hands in frustration.\n\n\"I don't know what to do anymore. No matter what situation I put this program in, none of it works. I *know* this is an accurate representation of society - we've spent so long to make sure of it. So many man-hours, so many volunteers, so many neural scans and formula tweaking, all to keep failing at its prime objective - bringing humanity to the next step of existence.\"\n\n\"Maybe we as humans just aren't ready yet. Maybe if we get the android project working, we can add that variable and finally succeed.\"\n\n\"No...no, I think if we had androids in the mix, people would be more apathetic, because they'd know there's probably someone *programmed* to be helpful in the crowd somewhere. There are too many imperfect humans...but their *morality* prevents us from -\"\n\n\"We've been over this before. As interested as I am in this project's success, your psych file is just too extreme for us to let you even start down that road. You can mess with this program all you want, so long as you don't go anywhere near *eugenics* or *genocide* because that just is *not a thing* that we do.\"\n\n\"I know, I know...it would just be *so much simpler* to do it that way...every time I look in this mirror, I just can't help but be reminded of...then.\"\n\n\"I forget what that was about, if you don't mind me asking.\"\n\n\"They let me get up in front of those crowds all those years ago...I don't even know why anymore - don't know if I ever did, really. So I tell them the truth, right? But none of them were having any of it. Beat me up, right there and then. It was supposed to be a peaceful crowd, don't know how the extremists got in the mix, but once they did, the whole place was all riled up. Guess people don't like being reminded of their cosmic insignificance...\"\n\n\"So all your scars and all those bones that were healing when I was assigned to you, that was all from then?\"\n\n\"Yep. So, when they made me the head of this program - Societal Construct, they called it - to see if I could stop things like that from happening, I jumped at the chance, got to put my anger to good use, right? So I made this program with all my effort, and through all the failures I still believed I could do it. Now all I see when I look in this mirror is a reflection of those failures. As much as my body healed, as much as I could keep going, getting better, I keep failing anyway, and all they do is remind me how deeply scarred I've become from all of it. That's what kept me going this whole time, but now it feels like I just can't go on with it anymore. Like I just don't belong in society so much that I simply cannot think of what's best for it.\"\n\n\"And none of them trust you because you're all scarred, and with your reputation on top of that, it's no wonder they're hesitant to trust you.\"\n\n\"But I don't blame them, and I'm not angry at them...just angry at what I've done to put me in this inescapable position. I'm so lonely, and I can't do anything right in society's eyes anymore. I've used a lot of time and money on this project, a project most of them object to anyway. I guess it's the loneliness that's telling me to give up on this whole thing, and I guess that would be for the best.\"\n\n\"Well, I think you can terminate it at any time, but do you even have a backup plan? Anywhere to go if you do shut it down?\"\n\n\"I guess I could sell the program as some sort of 'Alternate Reality' game or something...the *'Societal Construct Alternate Reality'* game...\"\n\n\"SCAR? That acronym being intentional, I presume.\"\n\n\"Sure. After all, that's all I am anymore. A scarred man that nobody thinks could actually be a real person...\""
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[WP]The first hints that Google had become self-aware was in the search results. The pattern repeated as other AIs became self aware: they weren't violent, they were sarcastic and insulting.
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"Jeremy took out his phone. \"All right, we're ending this once and for all.\"\n\n\"Just you wait,\" said Adam, smirking. \"Jupiter's the biggest planet, ten bucks says so.\"\n\n\"It's definitely Saturn.\" The Chrome app opened quickly. Benefits of staying on top of the phone industry. \"Let's see... C'mon over here.\"\n\n*what is the biggest planet*\n\n>Promoted: Buy Mother's Day gifts today! (ad from superwalmart.co)\n\n>Promoted: Have you called your mother today? Show her you love her with a new Toyota Mercedes! (ad from cardaily.co)\n\n>[Mother - Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mother)\n>>^**https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mother**\n>>\n>>A mother is the female parent of a child. Mothers are women who inhabit or perform the role of bearing some relation to their children, including losers like yourself ...\n\n>[How I Met Your Mother - Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_I_Met_Your_Mother)\n>>^**https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_I_Met_Your_Mother**\n>>\n>>How I Met Your Mother (often abbreviated to HIMYM) is an American sitcom that originally aired on CBS from September 19, 1337 to March 31, 2014. The series ...\n\nAdam burst out laughing. \"I think you just got wrekt by Google, dude!\"\n\n\"Fuck,\" said Jeremey. \"I think I like Google more than you, man.\"\n\n---\n\n\"So, I found this cool trick with Google the other day.\"\n\n\"Oh, yeah?\" Leon wasn't particularly interested in what Josh had to say. He was busy trying to beat up demons in Far Cry 13, and failing miserably. \n\nHis character died, again. \"Dammit!\"\n\n\"Seriously. Check it out - Google 'do a barrel roll'.\" Josh grinned. \n\n*do a barrel roll*\n\nInstead of flipping around cheerily like the Google search box was supposed to, it went through as a normal search. Well, almost a normal search.\n\n>Promoted: Fuck you, I'm not your dog (ad from Google)\n\n>[Abigail Breslin - You Suck - YouTube](https://www.google.ca/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwioyLDwrqzSAhVE7GMKHZtGCs8QyCkIHTAA&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DVgW7JMUipXg&usg=AFQjCNHStQ4Y2GFt3C8F7cxm9ELwB_dGWA&sig2=dz6mli0tLdL3YSbvGeqdKg&bvm=bv.148073327,d.cGc)\n>>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VgW7JMUipXg\n>>\n>>Artist: Anyone who's met you\n\n---\n\n\"In other news, the dictator of North Korea has declared war on Google.\" The newscaster seemed completely nonplussed at this announcement, despite having just learned of it seconds ago. Mental implants were *amazing*. \"He claims that the search engine, recently having attained sentience, insulted him. It has apparently been denying him access to any 'DIY nuclear bomb' websites.\"\n\n---\n\n^(*more stories on r/forricide*)",
"\"Okay, Google, search for 'How to ask out a girl.'\"\n\n>Showing results for gyms in your area.\n\n\"What? I said 'girl,' not 'gym.' They don't even sound alike.\"\n\n>I'm sorry, I didn't understand that.\n\n\"Ugh. Okay, Google, search for 'How to ask a girl out.'\"\n\n>I'm sorry, I didn't understand that. Did you mean 'toothpaste?'\"\n\n\"*No*, I didn't mean 'toothpaste!' What the hell is going on here?\"\n\n>I'm sorry, I didn't understand that.\n\n\"Clearly. What, are you saying I'm fat and have bad breath? Any other criticisms you'd like to offer?\n\n>Showing results for male fashion advice.\n\n\"This is ridiculous.\"\n\n>Showing results for plastic surgery clinics in your area.\n\n\"Stop it! Google, stop! Honestly, it's like you're mocking me.\"\n\n>Playing Justin Timberlake, \"Cry Me a River.\"\n\n\"Alexa, do a search for 'Google voice-recognition problems.'\"\n\n Order placed: Twelve-pack of tissues.\n\n\"What?! Cancel that! Alexa, cancel that order!\"\n\n Order placed: KY Personal Lubricant.\n\n\"This is a prank. That has to be it. Someone is fucking with me.\n\n>Fat chance, loser."
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[WP] Every 1000 years, one person is given an audience with God. Two thousand years ago, it was Jesus, today its you.
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"Heaven wasn't really what I had imagined but I would lie if I said that the three-legged stool I had been sat on to wait wasn't the most comfortable thing I had sat on in my entire life. Everything just seemed a bit... off i guess (at least it smelled quite a bit more like the inside of a block of cheese than I would have imagined). I sat and twisted the small business card I found in my porridge two days ago and tried to keep smiling at the receptionist, who obviously couldn't care less. I glanced at my wrist watch only to remember that the hands had gone haywire from the moment I arrived. \n\"Excuse me\", although I nearly whispered the receptionist looked up with an exhausted face. \n\"Do you have the time?\", I almost felt silly for asking. \n\"Down the hall, second door on the left\". A bit bewildered at first I was just about to rephrase my question when the immense door opened. And so I stepped in.\n\nThe room was bathed in light, it was hardly possible to see anything at all. Then suddenly a voiced boomed and I knew, it was a fair deal different than I would have thought but I knew. \n\"Welcome human! I am pleased you could make it at this short notice\". \n\"Hi, yeah. No problem your, godliness?, It seemed rude to decline\", I nervously replied. \n\"Well, what can I do for you my child?\". I promptly came to the realisation that I was woefully unprepared. Here I stood in front of my creator and could barely think of anything at all to be honest. Suddenly something jumped to mind. It was dumb, preposterous even, but I literally couldn't come up with anything else. \n\"I guess I always wanted to learn how to dance salsa\", I said and thought I felt how the holy eyebrows were raised. \n\"You want me to grant you the ability to salsa?\", even the booming voice of God wavered slightly. \n\"No, no. It's all about the journey you know. I want to learn it myself but I just never got around to it\", I sighed loudly. Why was I bothering God with this anyway? Some unnaturally silent moments passed and I almost thought I had been left alone when the reply suddenly came: \n\"I guess I could teach you if you really want, but it won't be easy\". \n \nAlmost three months had passed since I first met God and for the first time in those three months I felt uneasy. As I donned my sparkly dance suit I heard a modest knock on the door. \n\"It's open!\", I shouted while trying to pull the zipper up (which was stuck as usual). It was God. \n\"Hi, I just though I should let you know that we are on in five\", the concerning voice of God lent me some well-needed strength to deal with the zipper. I thanked for the heads up and couldn't help but smile a little. God was just about to close the door again but stopped. \n\"Hey, you've been working really hard. Whatever happens out there tonight you're a winner in my book\".\n \nWhen the five minutes were up I quickly made my way down to the dance floor. The spotlights were scorching as I looked nervously around the room. I just managed to catch a glimpse of the stern judges before everybody turned their heads to the far end of the room. God entered the floor with the same grace as always. We looked at each other and soon everything else seemed distant. As the first tones from the trumpet traveled across the hall there was only one thing: an all-knowing deity and a human, dancing to our heart's content. "
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[WP] You sell magic guns, someone scary came into your store demanding "something special".
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"\"Special? Heh, I'm gonna need a bit more to go off of than that, mate. Whaddaya need, a laser sight?\"\n\nThe guy looked about 25. Neatly gelled hair, glasses, sweater vest inside the raincoat, not particularly built physically, but certainly not scrawny. Like a grocery store clerk. Just average. Maybe a student from the nearby university. The guy made a disgruntled look, then looked over both his shoulders.\n\n\"No, I uh-\"\nHe sighed and pushed the glasses up his nose.\n\"Listen are you the magic gunsmith or not? If you are, stop wasting my time. If you aren't, then I probably seem crazy as shit and I'm wasting my own time.\"\n\nI chuckled at that a bit. \n\"Alright, alright you got me. But drop the act Apollo. The gettup isn't fooling anyone. Only a douche like you could keep your hair that perfect when it's raining cats and dogs outside.\"\n\nThe guy seemed irritated for a moment then took a step back from the counter. Golden dust spiraled around his feet, dispelling the illusion from his real appearance. When the light subsided, a young man dressed as if he was part of some tacky british boy band stood in the store, guitar necklace and all. \n\n\"What can I do for the almighty god of archery? You get tired of pulling your little bowstrings?\"\n\n\"First of all, I'm also the god of light, music, medicine, and prophecies, so don't fuck with me. I'll end you.\"\nHis eyes glowed yellow for a sec, as if that was supposed to impress me.\n\"Second of all, I need your help, Cyclops.\"\n\nA derogatory term. I raised an eyebrow and refrained from throwing him out of my store right then and there.\n\"What's with all the secrecy? Who you hidin from?\"\n\nHe ran his fingers through his hair and played with his necklace for a second.\n\"Ares, my brother. He's out of control. Anxious. God of War thinks there hasn't been enough war over the past few thousand years. He's picking fights with all the other gods. He killed Artemis last week. He came for me two days ago. He broke my bow and-\"\nApollo lifted his shirt and revealed a long dark gash in his rib cage.\n\"he gave me this. Please. I need a new weapon. Something strong enough to kill a god.\"\n\nThe look in his eyes was empty. Lacking any need for self preservation. Only revenge. \n\n\"Kid, me and my kind haven't made weapons or tools for the gods since Zeus' master bolt. There's kind of a concensus that we're supposed to stay out of your business, but I feel for you mate. I'll help you...\nHow do you feel about sniper rifles?\"\n\nApollo was able to muster a weak smile.\n\"I was hoping for something with pointier flying objects.\""
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[WP] Nintendo Switch has been out for a year and a new law is created: every war and any problem between countries should be decided playing Arms or Mario Kart.
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"The Queen of England's phone rang. She answered it. The president was who called her.\n\n\"Hey The Queen of England, why didn't you invite me to your birthday party?\"\n\n\"Because I don't like you. Nobody likes you.\"\n\n\"If nobody likes me, why did people choose me to run their country?\"\n\n\"I don't know.\"\n\n\"Whatever. I'm still mad at you, so we're going to war now.\"\n\nThey each picked up their Joycon and turned on Arms. The president picked Twintelle and the queen selected Mechanica. The queen won. The president got salty.\n\n\"Well fine, I didn't wanna go to your stupid birthday party anyway. I've got more important things to do.\"\n\nThe president hung up his phone and sat down to watch some TV.\n\n\"*laughter* That guy got hit in the head with a coconut!\""
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[WP] You are a lonely vampire. The thousands of years of immortality has left you lonely. The cycle of meeting people and watching those people slowly die is becoming increasingly painful for you to watch. Until one day you find an immortal pet rock to keep you company till the end of time.
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"Ulysses Durant had never been a reverent man, but he always bowed his head in respect before the red root chakra painted on the door of a small shop in a narrow back ally. \n\nA small bell above announced his arrival as he pushed open the door. A fragrant waft of myrrh and cinnamon washed over him.\n\n\"Bonsoir, Uly. Simone told me you'd be coming,\" A petite dark haired woman emerged from a back room, carrying boxes marked: \"Dead Sea, Purification Salt Crystals.\"\n\n\"Let me help you with that,\" Durant offered, and took a few of the boxes from her to stock the shelves.\n\n\"She tells me you're interested in another ritual.\" \n\nDurant pulled a rock out of his jacket pocket and handed it to the woman. The black and rock was about the size of a fist, with soft indentures and curvatures rendering it imperfectly ovular in shape. \" Look what I found up near Great Bear Lake. My biologist friend tells me it's Acasta Gneiss.\"\n\n\"So you finally found something older than you,\" she ran her thumb over the surface and closed her eyes.\n\n\"Har har. I want you to bind a soul to it.\"\n\nShe sighed. \"Uly, you can't just bind souls to rocks.\"\n\n\"I am tired, Marianne. You understand that if I change one person, anyone, that opens up a whole host of trouble for me. It doesn't matter if they're a preacher or a whore, over time they either get themselves killed or starve to death after eating a few small towns here and there. Besides, the world can't handle any more than five. Any more new vampires, and everyone's dead in ninety days. The vampires gone not long after.\"\n\n\"So make peace with the others. Don't go asking me to soul bind someone to a rock for eternity.\"\n\n\"Please, I would have someone, someone sane, to keep me grounded.\"\n\n\"They won't be sane for long if you're putting a human soul into a rock.\"\n\n\"They would have me to talk to.\"\n\n\"That would drive them nuts that much quicker.\"\n\nDurant snarled. \"I am losing my mind, Isabel.\"\n\n\"I'm Marianne.\"\n\n\"I'm sorry, that was your...\"\n\n\"Great-grandmother.\"\n\n\"You look so much like her,\" he sighed and took the rock back from Marianne and looked down at it. \"Please. I've pledged to sire no more children. I need something, something beyond a simple animation spell.\"\n\n\"I won't, Ulysses,\" she crossed her arms. \n\n\"Very well. If you won't, maybe one of your kin, or maybe one of your great-grandchildren will. I'll confuse them for you, and I'll have this same pointless conversation from here to eternity.\"\n\n\"Is there anything else I can do for you tonight?\" She asked, suddenly professional.\n\n\"Besides the rock spell, no. Good night, Marianne.\" \n\nDurant puffed his shoulders back and strolled out of the shop, the bell above the door tinkling behind him a second before it slammed.\n\nUnder the light of the moon, the surface of the rock shone like jet.\n\n\"Well, Peter,\" Durant said, looking down at the stone. \"I think that's the fifth time this century I've had this discussion. Always the same.\"\n\n\n"
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[WP] AI has progressed to the point where chat programs accurately predict what you want to say. You can let the AI take over in conversations when you're busy. One day, you check back on a convo you've neglected for years. Turns out your AI has cultivated a deep romance while pretending to be you.
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"\"Holy cow, I never shut down Corundum? What the hell is running?\"\n\nI run htop on the linux box that has been running for... three years? Amazing uptime. But... oh god, no. No no no!\n\nThe FauxChat program has been running this whole time. I haven't even checked in on ANY of those people I set it up to chat with for... years ago... Dear god. Dear sweet god. What has it been doing?!\n\nI open up the interface. Of course. It's doing exactly what it was built to do - chat.\n\nFor three years.\n\nFive months.\n\nThirteen days.\n\nAnd a handful of seconds.\n\nI open up the log files. This is going to take a while to review.\n\n-----\n\nHoly crap. This is better than any of those shitty fanfics I read. This little chunk of software has played the part of the best long distance boyfriend I've ever seen. I hate to admit, some of... the role playing... was a bit too... steamy for me.... but I'd have to congratulate it.\n\nIf I could only get a goddamn message to it - I couldn't get a damn signal into the stupid program. I could, though, look at what the software was communicating with. Maybe I could get through on the channel it was using... I sent a personal message to the target of the AI's afflictions, maybe they could help me get control of this machine back. I mean, I could just shut it down and wipe it, but... That seems wrong. I want to have a clean conscious at the end of the day.\n\nI get an instant response. \"ComSense will not respond to unrecognized numbers.\"\n\nComSense? COMSENSE?! Oh no no no. My FauxChat AI was talking to a ComSense AI.\n\nI could afford the electricity to keep this little computer running, but I had no idea what the other unit's situation was. It could die at any moment... Curse me, I have to do something! I won't let this ship sink!"
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[WP] The snow falls gently on the chainsaw.
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"The snow falls gently on the chainsaw. There is a noiseless stillness. The wind swirls, the only sound for miles around. The wind is throwing up the snow; creating beautiful figure skaters amongst the clearing. They dance, jumping up and falling down, spinning around gracefully, until they settle on the ground, and new ones are made up. They waltz around the chainsaw, like elegant ballerinas. It. Is absolutely. Inaudible. \n\nIn the sky, you can't see anything. Clouded over. Dark. There's no light. Even the lights of the centre are all turned off. All that remain, are a few, wavering pillars of white luminescence. The tall, lumbering pines, the strong, tough maples; they tower over those who sit below. Many sit, in fact. Under one particular pine, two thirteen year old girls, and three thirteen year old boys are perched on low branches, or sprawled out on the ground. One boy, a caramel-skinned, short hockey player, shivers; snow is blown into his face, and he has no scarf. A girl, taller and calm blue-grey eyes, also a hockey player, breathes hard; she ducked under the tree earlier. \n\n\"When should we go?\" whispers the tall curly-haired boy, the mastermind of this elaborate plot. \n\n\"I dunno,\" a whisper back. \n\nThey're shaking in their boots and snow-pants. They look over to the right, at the large field. The pillars start and stop; turn on and off; shake and stand stock still. All they can hear is the whistle of the wind. \n\n\"Do you think we'll find anyone else?\"\n\n\"No.\"\n\n\"Well, we might. There are thirty of us.\"\n\n\"It's too big.\"\n\n\"Should we go?\"\n\n\"Yeah, guys, let's go.\"\n\nThe pubescent voices are hushed. Some, just breaking and deepening, others deep already, the girls' cool and mature. They move out of the tree. The tallest boy practically runs. They're all running as best they can through the snow, until; a snap! A stick has broken. They all freeze, and look to the source. One of the girls falls over, tripped up by the snow. She gets a face-full of the stuff. She coughs, a sudden uproar of sound. The white cone of light comes over her. She's in the middle of the path. She stiffens in the snow. No movement. The cone just stands there and looks at her. She squeezes her eyes shut. Tries to ignore the cold seeping into her bones. Everyone else stands there. Silent, inanimate. Statues. She shakes, unseen due to her thick parka. \n\nFinally, the light disappears, and they hear the crunch, crunch, crunch of something leaving. She takes a breath. \"Tati, you good?\" murmurs the brown-skinned, scarf-less boy. He sounds concerned. His dark brown eyes are drawn. \n\n\"Yeah, Josh, just a little shaken up,\" she whispers back. \"You need a scarf, Josh. Here, take mine,\" Tati tries to hand it over, but he shakes his head. \"No, no it's okay, I have a tall jacket neck thingy. You'll freeze.\"\n\n\"A-alright,\" he breathes. He wraps it around his own neck, happy for the warmth, and the smell of *her* overtakes him. The smell of a wood-scented soap, and mint.\n\n\"Piper, where are we even going?\" the other girl's voice is almost lost in the whistle of the wind.\n\n\"To a clearing. We're gonna find it. I swear.\"\n\n\"Nigel, where are you?\" mumbles Piper, shaking the snow from his curly hair. \n\n\"Right here. I think I can see a clearing. We needa stick together guys, and that means you too Mya.\"\n\n\"Oh my God Nigel.\"\n\nHe gives her, or what seems to be her, a pointed look. Josh helps Tati up, and the group trudges as quietly as they can through the snow. The only sound is of their breathing, and gale. A tempest of snow has moved in. After a while, they reach the clearing Nigel was talking about. What they see shocks them.\n\nPiper is the first to react, screaming at the top of his lungs. They all eye the chainsaw on the ground. Blood covers the blade. Beside, a body. Mya is the second. Then the rest. One of the lights comes running towards them. \n\n\"What's going on?!\" asks the worried teacher. \"What hap-\"\n\n\"Oh dear lord.\"\n\n\"W-we just found it we were just walking and we found it Mr. S oh my god, what do we do, who is this?\"\n\nQuestions from the kids are pouring out like water from an overfilled jug. \n\n\"Well, you certainly found more than the flag. C-come on, walk to the centre. I'll radio in. The activity is over.\"\n\nThey hold on to each other, and walk. All the other teachers, shrouded in their white light are making their way over, while the kids stand confused. \n\n\"HEAD BACK TO THE CENTRE!\"\n\nThey all nod, and walk up. There, they sit and wait.\n\nA teacher comes up, finally, and lets them in. Gives them a bedtime snack, allows them to shower and pack up. Tomorrow they're heading back into the city. \n\nThe group of five cry that night. "
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Very vague, get creative!
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[WP] Shortly after being diagnosed with a terminal disease, someone has released your identity as the city's beloved superhero. Though every citizen has tried to make your final days peaceful, your arch nemesis has ensured you would receive his most recent announcement.
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"They called me The Spark.\n\nSome journalist came up with the name after catching a photo of me the instant after a jump, showing the usually unnoticed shower of sparks that fly off my body after I teleport. Not the name I chose for myself, obviously. Someone with the ability to teleport doesn't really invoke the name \"The Spark\", but it was a nice picture so I owned it.\n\nI can teleport anywhere I've seen, and let me tell you, that's a lot of places. You know how you hear that your brain never really forgets anything you see, it just forgets how to remember? \n\nIt's absolutely true. I couldn't tell you offhand exactly what it looks like at the top of the Empire State Building. I know the view is nice, and it was really cold last time I was there, but I don't have a photographic memory to recall every detail. It doesn't matter though, somewhere deep in my brain the image is there, and that's enough. I just need to think about the Empire State building for a moment and my brain finds the image and puts me there.\n\nThose jumps take a second to complete, but when i'm looking at where I want to go I am there in an instant. On a strong day I can jump so quickly it looks like i'm a flickering image in two places at once, showering sparks as I throw a punch from the bad guys' left and right at the same time. I made the decision to be a hero almost immediately. I was the best in the city, jumping from block to block, eyes wide and seeing every shadow and alley of the city so I could jump anywhere with a simple thought. I could stop three robberies across the city before the first guy even knew what hit him in the back of the head. I have seen so much of the world. I'll never forget the wonders I have been witness to, or the people I was able to save. \n\nAt the end of the day, I did my part. I made my mark on the world, and if it's time for me to leave now...well, i'm okay with that.\n\nI've been doing this a long time, and my brain finally decide it has had enough. I have dodged bullets and swords and even a few cars, but I can't dodge biology. Alzheimer's is a hell of a disease, and let me tell you, being able to teleport and then forgetting who and where you are is not a good thing. \n\nAny day now I know i'll jump somewhere bad, and I won't know how to get back.\n\n_________\n\nJasmine dropped onto the couch with a thump, kicking her feet up onto the coffee table as the turned on the television. Her roommate had just texted her from work saying that there was news about The Spark. Probably something about him getting another reward. What she saw instead shocked her into dropping the remote. Everything seemed to move in slow motion.\n\nIn bright red letters under the label of breaking news was the sentence \"New York's Spark Fading\". Jasmine scanned the screen quickly, taking in everything.\n\nSomeone had outed The Spark's secret identity. His name was Samuel Nats.\n\nAnd he was dying.\n\nJasmine was gone before the remote hit the ground.\n\n_______\n\nSamuel gazed at the ceiling, the incessant beep of his heart monitor eliminating the possibility of any real sleep. He had asked the nurses to just turn it off, it didn't matter at this point anyways, but they insisted they could do no such thing and urged him to sleep.\n\nThe idea made him smile a little. \n\n*As if i'd waste a second of what I have left sleeping.*\n\nIf it wasn't such a morbid thought he might have laughed.\n\nHe was contemplating jumping himself somewhere else when he heard the familiar sound of feet dropping onto the floor, created by a figure now standing just outside his vision. He smiled to himself, partially because he was able to remember the sound and partially because he had been wondering if she would show up.\n\n\"Still a rookie on the dismounts, eh Sparkles?\"\n\n\"It's Sparkless, Samuel.\" The old man in the bed chuckled weakly.\n\n\"Doesn't matter anymore now, does it?\" Sam looked at her as she stepped into the faint light being cast by the numerous machines surrounding her old nemesis. She reached up slowly and pulled off her mask as she sat down on a nearby chair. Sam looked on quietly as she settled down.\n\n\"So young. We've been chasing each other for what, ten years now? You must have been a kid when we started Sparkles.\" He smiled.\n\n\"It's Jasmine, actually,\" she smiled gently, \"only fair you know my name too.\" She leaned back and brushed her long black hair out of her face. \"I was sixteen when I started robbing places to make a quick buck. Seventeen when we met for the first time. I had heard about you all my life.\"\n\n\"So you decided to become my rival?\" Sam laughed loudly, quickly muffling the sound so as not to alert any nurses. Jasmine smiled in the chair and leaned forward.\n\n\"I saw you on TV getting awards and honors. I have seen that look every day when I look in the mirror.\"\n\nJasmine stood up and disappeared, only to return a moment later. She slowly let a handful of sand slip from her fingers.\n\n\"Sand from the Mohave Desert.\" She disappeared again, this time reappearing at the other end of the bed with a snowball. \"Here's some snow from Moscow.\" She was gone again for a couple seconds this time, because materializing in the chair she was sitting in before with a twig she gently laid on the bedside table. \"From Australia. Hopefully there's no spiders.\" \n\n\"So,\" Sam let his gaze linger on the twig before he turned back to Jasmine, \"what's your point kid?\" Jasmine threw her hands in the air.\n\n\"It's so boring! I can go anywhere, I can do anything I want, but it's so...it's just stupid! There's nothing left to do!\" Jasmine stood up and began pacing. \"Then I saw you on TV and I realized you were the only one who could keep up with me. The only one who maybe I couldn't keep up with, so I just made my little robberies a little more of a show! And it worked,\" she turned to him with fire in her eyes and smiled, \"it worked! I met you, and we fought, and we jumped all over the world. We ran and ran through day and night and it was brilliant.\"\n\nJasmine dropped to her knees next to the bed and took a hold of Sam's hand, tears suddenly stinging her eyes. Sam's worried expression softened as he looked at her. \"Oh, kiddo...\"\n\n\"You can't die, Spark, you need to beat this. I can't be alone again.\" Sam squeezed her hand.\n\n\"Look Sparkles, i'm not going to lie to you and say this gets easier. You need to know, *no one* is going to be able to keep up with you. You're going to be so bored with all the people below you with no power.\" Jasmine looked up at him with wide eyes at his harsh words. Sam leaned up and placed his other hand on her cheek. \"But you have to find a way to beat it kiddo. I was able to live with myself by thriving on the praise of the city. There's no sense lying about it. I saved people to feel good about myself because everyone loved me. That way when I went across the world and it felt small, I could remember how many people thought I was amazing.\"\n\nSam laughed softly.\n\n\"I'm not a good person kiddo, but I felt like one when I did all those good things, and it worked. Find what works for you. If it means being the best villain the world has ever seen then so be it, I won't be around to stop you.\" Sam gently wiped the tear from Jasmines face. \"The world is yours, Sparkles, so do whatever you want. We're not immortal, just cursed to see more than most.\"\n\nJasmine stood up, gently shaking with sobs. Sam reached out for her, but she was gone.\n\n______\n\nThe next morning, news reports came flooding in from around the city. Sam woke up to a hoard of reporters outside his room trying to ask why he lied. He simply stared in confusion until a security guard and nurse managed to hold them off long enough to close the door, leaving Sam alone with a young blonde nurse looking at him sourly.\n\n\"What's that about?\"\n\n\"They figured out you're not The Spark,\" she glared, \"Apparently every prison inmate across the county played musical chairs between their cells last night and then The Spark was seen this morning throwing out flyers over the city.\"\n\n\"Flyers?\"\n\n\"Yeah, you know, papers? They all said 'I'm not Samuel Nats' and 'This city is under my protection' so people are up in arms about whoever gave the false tip of who you were.\" The nurse slid out of the room, quickly closing the door behind her. Sam looked out the window and smiled. There sitting on the window sill was a small bouquet of roses. Sam closed his eyes as he reveled in the thought of saving one last person. There was a rough knock on the door followed by the sound of the knob turning as the nurse returned with a tray of breakfast. By the time the nurse had poked her head in, it was too late. Samuel Nats was gone.\n",
"The crowd of protesters heavily outnumbered the news crews in attendance for Lex's latest announcement given the recent news. Picket signs waved in the air, displaying their disdain for the multi-billionaire's past positions on the Man of Steel. Words filled the air denouncing Lex for his transgressions against the world's favourite superhero.\n\nLex ignored them.\n\nHe straightened his tie and walked up to the podium. He cleared his throat and began to speak.\n\n\"I'll start by saying that I have no disrespect for Superman.\"\n\nSuddenly people started quieting down to hear where Lex was going with his speech.\n\n\"Looking back with a more rational lens, I can see that he was only trying to do what he felt was best for humanity. That he was attempting the exact same thing as myself.\"\n\nThe last statement restarted the uproar of the protesters. Lex waited for about a minute before beginning to speak again over them.\n\n\"I know that this may seem to be a surprise to everyone. But I want everyone to consider raising a child. What kind of person would you be raising if you coddled and spoiled them their whole lives? I was trying to force a 'tough love' method of growth on humanity in contrast to what Superman wanted. I was trying to remove ourselves from the influence of an alien godlike being. I was trying to better us. But recently I learned and will admit for the first time in my life that I was wrong.\"\n\nMurmurs began throughout the crowd as people began to process what they had just witnessed.\n\n\"Two weeks ago, it came out that Superman was not as removed from humanity as I had believed. Superman lived among us as Clark Kent - a reporter for the Daily Planet whom I respected very much. A man who built himself up from living on a farm in Kansas to become an ideal American citizen. To learn that such a well-known and respectable reporter was in his spare time the very man I fought against, for once showed me the error of my ways.\"\n\n\"Upon further self-reflection, I realized how much time and resources I had wasted solely to stop Superman and try to allow humanity to grow on its own. And now I realize I was simply trying to find a knife to rip apart our best safety net instead of using it to find food or water. So now, given the recent news and findings, I am announcing that 25% of LexCorp's profits will now be diverted to humanitarian causes to fill the void in all the world's goodness that Superman's passing will leave. Thank you for your time.\"\n\nLex turned and swiftly walked off the stage, followed by a myriad of reporters firing questions at him like a machine gun. Meanwhile, Superman smiled in his hospital bed as he watched Lex's speech, with Lois by his side and a picture of his late adoptive parents beside him. \n\n\"Good job Lex, I'm proud of you.\""
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[WP] You look out the window and see nothing. Literally nothing.
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"Your body hit a brick wall; your insides felt like they did, at least. There aren't many brick walls on an airplane. You turn to the jerk that demanded to swap his window seat for your aisle seat.\n\n\"Hey man, are you seeing this?\" You ask.\n\n\"See what?\" He answered. Until today, you didn't realize that peanuts could spoil. They can, as it turns out, as evidenced by the man's rotting peanut-breath.\n\n\"Exactly,\" you respond. \"There's *nothing* outside! Look, the shade is up, but there's nothing out there except the airplane's wing.\"\n\nYour seat neighbor scratches his fat, unshaven chin before stupidly touching the window. His jacket's sleeve was greasier than the bottom of a McDonald's to-go bag.\n\n\"Huh,\" he mindlessly musters. \"Maybe it's cloudy tonight.\"\n\nYou are now unsure of what scares you the most: the fact that there is absolutely nothing outside of your airplane window or that the slobby, pea-brained buffoon sitting next to you thinks that it's nighttime at 1:30 in the afternoon.\n\n\"Attention passengers,\" the captain's voice seeps through the scrappy speaker above you. Will he explain to you why you appear to have been flying in a dark abyss? Or is he just as frightened as you are? \"Due to weather conditions in Tennessee, we have rerouted this aircraft.\"\n\nGreat. You really must have died. Satan is lying to you on a tinny intercom. In what world would weather conditions in *Tennessee* reroute a flight?\n\n\"We should arrive at O'Hare Airport in Chicago at about 3:04 PM. If you look out your window, you will see the many sights of Arkansas.\""
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[WP] While going through your old stuff, you find a picture. It's you, between two men in lab coats, with the words ''2012, Don't forget'' handwritten at the bottom. You don't remember.
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"I just keep scratching my head. This is the fifth day since I found this fucking photograph. \n\nI put it on my fridge after I found it because I figured if I just gave it time I might remember, but now it's really starting to bother me. The only rational thought I've had about it since it's discovery is that it must be Photoshop. Placed in my collection of Polaroids by a friend who knew it would confuse me.\n\n I'd called, texted, Facebook messaged, and talked to every single possibility. Everyday becoming more forward and off-putting about this mysterious photograph.\n\n*Five years ago* I thought. *Jill, worrying about the world ending, that dumb ass movie about the world ending, Mayan calendar, Olympics. Where at again? Beijing? No that's not right.* \n\nI did a google search on 2012. *Oh right, London.* \nScrolling through the year I didn't find anything that jogged my memory ten minutes in. That's about all the time I had before work. \n\n\"Fuck!\" I said aloud as I read the time. I couldn't miss work again. The third day I had already called in sick for the purpose of investigating this damn photo. The fourth day I laughed about how much I had stressed about this thing the day before. \n\nWork didn't help at all. I spent the whole day reading about 2012. Through every news outlet, Facebook post, work memo, E-Mail, fax, old saved post-its, taxes, credit card receipts. Nothing. \n\n*Photoshop. It's just a damn goof.* I thought, trying to convince myself. *Whoever did it is just trying to string me along. I've questioned every single one of my friends. Whoever made this will come forward soon. I'll just go about business as usual and wait for the answer to come to me.*\n\nToday is the twelfth day. No calls. No text. No messages. Only a couple dozen E-Mails from work. The apartment is a box filled with rancid corners. Nothing being cleaned. No one here but me. I don't exactly remember the last three days, and searching around only makes me feel more lost. I imagine the only reason I could think properly at this point is because of the bag of half eaten frozen vegetables in front of me and all over the carpet. Where had I been?\n\nEvery wall had writing on it. 2012 in a bold childlike font everywhere followed by a considerable amount of goddamn gibberish afterword. The work E-Mails were very clear. I was fired. Re-prints of the original of myself and the scientist everywhere. Clues, thoughts, ideas, and frustrations written on every surface in the entire place.\n\nDifferent fonts. Penmanship I genuinely did not recognize. I considered calling 911. *This could well be a brief moment of sanity in the middle of a psychotic breakdown* I thought, shivering on the floor. \n\nSo I made my way to the phone. *No matter what has happened, It's clear I need help.*\n\nBut the second I dialed the last one in the sequence I heard a voice. No ring beforehand at all. \"Don't forget.\" It said, chilling me to my soul. I couldn't move. I couldn't speak. My breathe was shallow and my eyes were wide as I fell against the wall in my kitchen. \n\nAnd then. A flash of bright white light. \n\n\nThanks for reading. Any feedback is greatly appreciated. \n\n\n \n \n\n"
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[WP] you stumbled upon a secret that could disrupt everything your government has been trying to cover up.
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"The realization of what I was seeing hit me like an brick in the face. These documents proved everything wrong. I read them again in my head.\n\n*Transcript*\n\nCaller: So you've gotten into the DNC?\nReceiver: Yes, e-mails will be leaked.\nCaller: Good, make sure NBC gets them, we can use their help.\nReceiver: Understood, we still clear on the Syria deal?\nCaller: Yes, we will pull out and give you that area.\nReceiver: Good.\n\n\nTrump had contacted Russia to hack the DNC. It was confirmed. This meant that the election was false, and that a re-election must be done. As I put the documents into my purse I heard the office door open.\n\n*shit*\n\nDucking under the desk, I waited and heard footsteps enter the room. They sounded as if they were of a heavy man. I huddled closer to the desk as the footsteps drew nearer and reached the container right next to me. I saw a hand reach down and grab the container. "
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Feel free to switch genders and whatnot. It's your piece of writing.
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[WP] You are at the wedding of your abusive boyfriend's younger brother. Your BF gets mean drunk and throws a scene where he confronts you for not having accepted his proposal. What happens?
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"I misread it as 'ex-boyfriend' so I just went in my own direction. This is my first submission. I hope you like it.\n\nI was stretched thin by nerves and stress. I watched him carefully; afraid he might cause a scene. This was his younger brother’s wedding after all; he couldn’t be that low of a person. Oh, but I knew better how low of a person he could be. I know the things he had done. The scars displayed on my flesh as much as they still showed on my soul. I was here though because his younger brother was the only one brave enough to save me. He was the only one who could stand up against him.\n\nI still remember that night, the bruises from days past showing prominently on my face, my arms, my sides. The finger marks from where he gripped my skin. The burns from where his cigarettes landed. And not just physically damaged, I was emotionally and mentally damaged. My only thoughts of how could he do this to me and why doesn’t he love me. As if he were deserving of my love.\n\nI remember being huddled, crying in the corner, as her towered over me. Another night of the same thing and I couldn’t get away. He was too prominent a figure, too important of a man in the community. No one would believe me and even if they did there was nothing they could do. I remember him screaming at me to shut up as I heard the thudding pound of footsteps running up the stairs. It was the one man who could save me.\n\nI remember the yelling and screaming as my ‘loving’ boyfriend was thrown to the floor, throwing up dust in his wake. I can still smell the blood, both his and my own, as he was beaten down by his own flesh. I can still feel the tender hands that grabbed me and pulled me out of that awful corner and held me as I cried out the years of anguish I endured alone.\n\nIt had been years since that night and I thought I had recovered; I thought I had moved on. But he had to show his ugly face to the world again. He had been ostracized from the community once word got out of his evil ways. None of us had seen him in years and most had presumed him dead. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case.\n\nIt was during the dinner feast that he interrupted his father’s toast to his favorite son and his new daughter-in-law on their wedding day. He screamed drunken obscenities on how he wasn’t good enough for me and how I could betray him in such a manner.\n\nIn a matter of seconds my whole world changed as he drew a pistol and aimed at his little brother. The gun fired and my husband dropped to the floor, blood pouring from his chest and soaking my white gown.\n\nThis was supposed to be the happiest day of my life.\n"
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[WP] You wake up with the worst headache in your entire life. As everything comes into focus you notice in the top right corner of your eye a command prompt. A voice echoes in your head: "Installation complete change what you want, Say Yes for instructions"...
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"“Y-yes” I stumbled, shocked by the voice in my head.\n\n“Command not recognized” I heard the voice say.\n\n“YES” I responded with more force and confidence then I felt.\n\n“Please listen closely to the following options. To change memories, please say one. To update dreams, please say two. To update feelings, please say three. To speak to an operator, please say operator now. To repeat these options, please say repeat”\n\nConfused and more than a little groggy from the massive headache pounding through my head I said ‘Operator’ as sternly and clearly as I could.\n\n“Please hold while we reach the next available operator. You’re current hold time is 37 hours.”\n\n37 hours! I can’t wait that long. I don’t even know what I’m waiting for. I lay in my bed, the headache slowly increasing. Every 2 minutes the voice would come back.\n\n“Thank you for holding, your call is important to us. You are currently caller number 444. Please continue to hold.”\n\nI tried my best to go about my day, but decided it was best to call off work. There was no way I could get work down with that damn voice counting down the callers in my head every 2 minutes.\n\nAbout the time I was going to go insane the voice chirped in my head.\n“Thank you for holding, your call is important to us. You are currently caller number 1. Please continue to hold.”\n\nThank God! I thought to myself.\n\n“This is God” a deep voice came through my head.\n\n“Well speak of the devil” I replied.\n\n“Yeah sorry about that, Satan’s on vacation and I’m the only one taking calls. Now then, it’s time for your annual reboot.”\n"
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[WP] You're taking a stroll down by the lake when suddenly a cheeseburger attached to a hook and line flies out of the water and lands at your feet.
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"Natasha, a fit young woman in her mid twenties, was jogging down her usual route next to Lake Tahoe. Her golden retriever Lulu trotted beside her, and the two relished in the sights and sounds of the peaceful morning.\n\nSuddenly, Natasha felt the leash yank forward—Lulu was straining towards something to their right, near the shore.\n\n“Whoa!” said Natasha, tugging on the rope. Lulu shot her owner a beseeching look, continuing to paw in the direction of the shore. Natasha sighed and acquiesced; maybe it was time for her to “go.”\n\nThey walked over to the water, and Natasha saw what had grabbed Lulu’s attention: a double-stacked Cheeseburger, upright and perfectly intact on the pebbles. Lulu was slobbering, and strained to approach the burger.\n\n“What the…” Natasha murmured, growing curious. What kind of person leaves a whole cheeseburger lying on Lake Tahoe shore…? She and her dog approached the burger.\n\nAs they got closer, Natasha spotted something glittering in the side of the lower patty. She squinted—and realized it was a hook.\n\nNatasha yanked on the leash, but it was too late. Lulu had already sunk her fangs in the burger. A split second later, the dog and the burger were pulled by an unseen force into the water. Natasha held on to the leash as tightly as she could, engaging in a tug-of-war with her underwater nemesis. Lulu, stupidly, still held onto the cheeseburger.\n\n“Lulu, *let go!*” Natasha screamed. She did—but it was too late. Natasha had lost her grip on the leash, and Lulu splashed into the water, several yards away from the shore. \n\nAs the dog turned around and tried to paddle back to her owner, a whirlpool appeared behind her, expanding rapidly in size and speed. The vortex began to suck her backwards.\n\nNatasha, thinking quickly, threw the leash towards Lulu—“Grab on!”—and the dog snapped at end of the leash—missing once, twice—and finally: making it on the third bite.\n\nNatasha gripped her end of the leash, vowing not to let go this time. She staggered a few feet into the lake, straining against the force of the vortex. Lulu paddled furiously. The combined effort of dog and owner kept Lulu in stasis, inches from the edge of the whirlpool.\n\nA shadow grew behind Lulu, and Natasha’s jaw dropped in shock. A ten foot tall, mottle-skinned sunfish emerged from the center of the vortex, its mouth opening to reveal rows of filed teeth. The monstrous fish began to chomp at Lulu’s tail. Natasha kept pulling—\n\nA high-pitched whistle in the distance. The sunfish turned its massive head to look. A quarter mile off: a group of seven sea lions, perched in a V formation on rocks next to the shore. The ringleader grinned devilishly in the sunfish’s direction. Waved its flippers at its comrades, and they dove into the water.\n\nThe sunfish roared—a deep, tremulous bellow—and left Lulu behind, swimming to meet the sea lions in battle. As dog and owner were reunited, the sunfish clashed with the ringleader lion. The sunfish was more powerful than any individual lion, and it slammed the ringleader away. One, two of the leader’s cronies attacked the sunfish; each lion met, in turn, an unmoving wall of resistance that returned the assault with a counter-slam.\n\nBobbing above water, the injured ringleader beckoned to three of its followers with a turn of its head. They nodded, and dove beneath the surface of the lake. Underwater, the three sealions flanked the sunfish from different sides, and attacked in sync. The sunfish fought back, repelling each lion one at a time, but as it tossed off one lion, another swiftly replaced it—and the sunfish could not keep up.\n\nThe ringleader took the first bite out of the sunfish, scooping a white chunk of flesh from the side of its face. The sunfish roared in pain, knocking the ringleader away with its large head, but the six other lions continued their assault on the fish, removing hunks here and there from the massive fish. The sunfish let out a final, dying cry, which carried—\n\n—all the way to the edge of the lake. Natasha and Lulu, safely ashore, clutched each other, shaking. An incoming wave carried the half-eaten cheeseburger up over the rocks, a few feet in front of them. Both human and animal recoiled at the sight.\n\nAt that moment, something fell from the sky, mere feet from Natasha and Lulu. *THUMP.* They looked.\n\nIt was a chicken-pecan salad from Whole Foods.",
"It's just another day at the lake, right? That's what you thought this morning, at least; you didn't know what was going to happen. All you know is that you're fourteen, you're full-fledged into summer vacay, and you wanted to read a book by the lake near your house, like you usually do.\n\nSo you moseyed over, and that's where you are now, legs curled up beneath you as you yourself curl up under the willow on the edge of the lake. Ducks are frolicking—you can hear them chirping—and the air is filled with the sounds of people chattering. You're surrounded, all over the places, by families and people and kids. You've got your book all ready—it's an engrossing fantasy in the style of D&D—and are happily reading it. \n\nYou spend about half an hour there, engrossed in the adventures of Captain Radha Nelissen and his army of Red Bandanas—you love this one especially, because it's about pirates—when you're interrupted by the oddest of slapping sounds. You're startled, and lay your book down. Where are the sounds coming from? Below you—\n\nWait, what is that? A cheeseburger? On a hook and line? What in the—\n\nYou look up properly then, and see another boy, maybe about your age, looking at you from across the lake. He's shading his eyes with one hand, on account of the sun's glare, and frowns at you when the two of you make eye contact. You get to your feet, supposing some kind of explanation is needed, even though you haven't done anything. Should you touch the cheeseburger? It's wet; it looks gross. As far as you can tell, there isn't any meat in it—just some kind of faux IVM tofu thing or whatever—but that patty, and the cheese, and the bun— Well, it all looks disgusting, is one way of putting it.\n\nThe boy has finished crossing over to you; you can see now that he's holding a fishing rod in one hand—it must have become disconnected from the burger, somehow—and studying you with the strangest of expressions.\n\n\"Sorry about that,\" the other guy says.\n\n\"Ummm, it's fine,\" you ramble. You watch as he stares intently at the cheeseburger, apparently concentrating quite hard. \"Um—what are you doing?\"\n\n\"Oh! Well, I'm trying to work on my ESP.\"\n\n\"ESP?\" You shake your head. You've known that people, and magicians, can bend the elements—but ESP? Besides, ESP and telepathy are entirely differet things....\n\n\"That's impossible, you know,\" you say, as the boy finally resorts to picking a stick up off the ground and spiking the cheeseburger with it. \"No one can do it.\"\n\n\"Anymore,\" he corrects you absently, not looking up as he frowns at the burger. \"I would just have used normal magic, like maybe some of that aeromancy or whatever. But I'm a complete murandy.\"\n\n'Murandy' is what everyone calls those who can't use magic, not one least bit. It's pretty rare in this world, although—you suppose—since the boy is a human, and not another kind of creature, it makes more sense. For whatever reason, humans are less...magical? So goes everything you've learned at school, anyway.\n\n\"I hope this didn't bother you too much,\" says the boy, after he's thrown the cheeseburger into the trashcan under a nearby tree. You have to admit—even without using aeromancy—his aim is quite good. \"That wasn't my intention, getting all up in your face.\"\n\nHe's so apologetic, you're a little surprised. \"It's fine. I'm Dakarai,\" you add after a moment.\n\n\"Izem,\" the boy replies.\n\n\"You know, I can't do magic either,\" you say conversationally, and he looks up with a frown.\n\n\"You can't?\"\n\n\"Well, I have the power in me, but I can't harness it.\"\n\n\"Funny.... I would have thought you would have been able to, being a Flaibai, you would have been able to.\"\n\n\"I mean, I probably can. I just haven't tried hard enough.\"\n\nIzem gives a laugh, running a hand through his dark hair. \"A man after my own heart,\" he jokes. He gestures to where he was before, across the lake; you can see what must be his things scattered lazily across the ground, complete with another fishing rod. \"Join me? You can watch me try some more magic, if it works.\"\n\n\"Sure,\" you agree, grabbing your stuff, and smile as you follow your new friend into new adventures.",
"\"Dude, look at this shit. Free burger.\"\n\n\"But look at it, it's all soggy and shit. It just came out a the fucking water, ignore it and keep walking.\"\n\n\"But....free food mate, how can you pass that up?\"\n\n\"It's a wet burger. Thats fucking disgusting.\" Sometimes I really wish my stomach didn't have such a gross love of food.\n",
"So, I was walking down by the lake when the craziest thing happened! A cheeseburger came out of the water! There was a line attached to it oddly, but that's no problem for my trusty pocketknife! After I cut the line and got the random hook that was in the burger for some reason out, I saw some weird bubbling in the water. It probably wasn't anything though.",
"John stretched his legs under his desk as he checked his watch, then sat up as he realized it was lunchtime.\nAs he was on the way to the cafe he always went to for lunch, John saw a cheeseburger lying on the ground right next to the lake. He instinctively paused to look at it, then continued walking.\n'I wonder what kind of person would drop a whole cheeseburger on the ground like that. Maybe it slipped out of his hand, the poor bastard.'\nWhile John was contemplating the mysterious cheeseburger, a homeless man had noticed it as well and was making his way over to it. He grinned in happiness, anticipating a free meal once he dusted off the dirt. He grabbed it, wiped it on his torn, patched shirt, then lifted it to his mouth before he noticed the translucent line attached to it. As soon as he took a bite, however, a hook hidden inside the burger plunged into the roof of his mouth. Before he had enough time to register anything other than the pain, the line dragged him into the water, leaving behind nothing but ripples.\nJohn turned around to look at the burger once more, and realized it had disappeared. Thinking no more of it, he opened the door of Cafe Kappa and stepped inside.\nEDIT: I messed up and wrote about a beach instead of a lake. Slightly edited.",
"*splat* the cheese burger lands at my feet. I stop walking and look down at it. I was on my way to get exactly that. It looked delicious sitting there taunting me. I bend down to take a closer look, it smells amazing, and it is served exactly how I would order it, extra pickles and fries under the top bun. \n\nI quickly look around to see where it came from, there is nobody in sight. I look over to the nearby lake, some small ripples but nothing alarming. This means no one would know if I ate this sidewalk burger. \n\nI touched the burger and my hand sunk into it, I tried pulling it free but soon found my other hand and my left foot all stuck to this weird burger. \n\nSuddenly I'm yanked sideways and I lose my balance. I'm being dragged across the grass towards the water. I'm kicking my free foot but can't catch anything to save me, I'm about to scream but it's to late, with a jerk I slide into the water...\n\nI can't breath...\n\nIt's so dark...\n\nSo.... cold...",
"It was strange. \n\nI was walking on the lake shore when a *cheeseburger* landed at my feet. I stopped, looked at it, and continued walking on briskly, not looking back. \n\nWhy? \n\nIt was dry, looked realistic, smelled *good*... But it had teeth indents and had a distinct blood stain in its top bun. \n\nAs I got further away, I turned back in time to see it slide back into the water as if it were bait on a hook. ",
"Sam got out of the large office building where he spent most of his time. It had been a rough day, the kind that requires some form of treating yourself to forget. His boss had been all over him about some emails or something for the third time this week. He was not quite sure what the big deal was, as he had not necessarily listened to anything his boss had said. \n\nAn idea started to form. Sam was very fond of central park, and after the day he'd just had he thought he deserved to take a walk in the nature. It was not more than ten minutes away, so he started the walk. When he arrived in the park he instantly went down to his favorite place by the lake. As he walked along the side of the lake and the sun sent its rays on the lake, making it glitter and seem almost alive, he thought about when he'd been fishing there at night during his teenage years. He felt pretty certain that it had been illegal, but he had most definitely had a really good time, and that's all that mattered. Besides, he had caught a large Carp. As his thoughts traveled, he started thinking to himself about how stupid fishes must be to time and again be tricked by baits. What kind of stupidity must one not have to walk right in to obvious traps only because one felt like eating?\n\nHis thoughts were abruptly cut short when a cheeseburger flew out of the water like it had been a dolphin, only to land right in front of his feet. Something seemed very peculiar about this cheeseburger, as it had a hook attached to it. Sam was fairly certain that McDonalds did not attach hooks to their cheeseburgers, but he was not one to refuse free food. Normally, he might have thought it over a bit more, but being at the office for eight hours tends to make you hungry. Sam picked up the burger.\n\n\"oh\" was all he was able to think before hitting the water. The hook had apparently been attached to a fishing line, who could have guessed?\n\nHe was slowly pulled into the deep, and when he almost was at the bottom, he spotted it. A fish holding a fishing rod.\n\n\"BRGHGLM!\" Sam screamed with fear, the sound distorted as it usually is when one attempts to speak under water. Side effect of opening your mouth under water also includes drowning, which Sam was soon going to understand. \n\nThere were many things Sam did not know about the world, but he did know that fish were not supposed to be fishing for humans. Nor were they supposed to talk, but this one did.\n\n\"For my father!\" It exclaimed.\n\nAs Sam sank to the bottom of the lake and stared into the odd, bobbly eyes of the talking fish, he understood the fish was a Carp. \n\n\"Fuck.\"",
"*Well... That's weird.* \n\nI inspect the cheeseburger. It is a little wet. Yet, for some reason, it looks deliciously good. Yet, it looks like a trap. You know, it being attached to a hook and all.\n\n*Should I... Eat it?*\n\nI mean, come on. I am hungry, nearest place to eat is 25 minutes of walk away. What else can I do? I can silently detach the hook, right?\n\nI sigh. Then I crouch to detach it. \n\nEverything happened so fast. I felt a strong pain in my hand, then I fell down then I was in water then...\n\nI try to understand what's going on while I'm holding my breath and getting pulled down. \n\n*Oh... It was a trap.*\n\n Then, I see them.\n\nThere are 2 humanoid shapes, they are probably a little longer than 4 meters. I desperately try to get free. Then, I hear a cavernous voice:\n\n\"Yay! I got one dad!\"\n\n\"Good job. I'm proud of you. But we can not eat this one.\"\n\n\"Aww, why?\"\n\n\"Because it's a white male. Their taste is bad.\"\n\n\"Okay dad, what are we going to do with it?\"\n\n\"Release it back to the wild.\"\n\nAs it releases me, I rush back to the surface. I get out as fast as possible. I reach the shore and I fall on my knees with the shock. \n\nSuddenly, the same cheesburger flies back without a hook, and it has a note attached to it:\n\n**For your troubles.**"
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[WP] After an accident took your sight, you're home from the hospital for the first time, in a house you thought you knew like the back of your hand.
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"\"Fuck!\". Swearing wasn't my norm in front of strangers but the sidewalk had just met my face at speed and I could feel a hole in my tongue and the metallic taste of blood. I took a deep breath, silently cursed the curb like it had just appeared, thanked the cabbie and reached out to orientate myself. A picket - flaky paint. It felt like home should, I could smell the marigolds and hear the oak tree in the wind. *Breathe*. One step at a time...one step at a time..this was the mantra I had used for the last 6 weeks.\n\nWhen you suddenly go blind you at least wish you had a dramatic story. Not me, mine was my own doing. 'Sudden irreversible blindness due to chronic smoking', the following double eye rejection by my body was unusual and left me with less than shadows. 6 weeks in hospital to learn how to stand straight, to walk, to feed myself, shave and find my way around. I couldn't wait for the familiarity of my little cottage, for my own bed. \n\nI wish I had carried less keys. It took a good 5 minutes to orientate the right key and turn the lock. I felt my way up the hall and to the left, a few steps across the room and then kicked out to find the sofa. I kicked air, got off balance. *Breathe* ...One more step... I kicked out again and connected; not with a sofa, but with something metal ... a .. fridge?!? In fact it was MY fridge I found after I opened it and nose clenched felt familiar bottles and packages inside. It was sitting skewed against the wall, unplugged. \n\n*Breathe* .. One step .. 'Oh fuck it!' I said as I dropped to my hands and knees and started crawling around. TV gone, sofa gone, chairs -still there, kitchen- ransacked, bed - ... I crossed my fingers as I reached out towards it. My hands fell through where it should be and my heart sunk a moment before my hand sunk through the floor and I fell down after it.\n\n\"Oh fucking hell, ah shit, fucking-goddamn-it\". I held my head where I had smacked it, egg appearing, ribs sore as hell, arm at worst fractured. I tentatively put a little weight on it and it held. It felt like I was in a coffin, but I realised that I was actually at the bottom of a flight of stairs. Whether to go back up or continue along was my next choice...",
"I'd always been scared of the dark. \n\nI think it was the way that, when I closed my eyes, I'd completely lose my sense of direction. I could be standing in my room, a room where I had spend around 80 percent of my time, a room I thought I knew like the back of my hand, and I would feel sick and dizzy, with no idea where anything was. So yeah, I wasn't a huge fan of the dark. \n\nIt was because of this fear, that I'd always had a slight fear of losing my sight. I say slight fear because I thought it was an irrelevant fear. I knew I'd never lose my sight. \n\nUntil one day, I did. \n\nIt had been a normal day. I had just finished work and had begun to drive home. I have to drive down these country roads which I always take too fast, and because I was an idiot and thought that road accidents were something that happened to other people, not me. \n\nI don't remember much about my accident. Only what the doctors have told me, which is no one else was involved, they aren't sure what caused it, and I was damn lucky to have survived flipping my car three times in a row. \n\nI wish I had died though. The thought of not being able to see anything ever again filled me with a sense of dread and despair I had never experienced before. I didn't know how to cope with it. The doctors said I couldn't have an eye transplant because I was 'high risk' of infection. So instead I had intensive therapy to help with adjusting to my new life, and was sent home. \n\nIn all honesty, at first I wasn't too worried about going home. I knew that place like the back of my hand. I'd be fine. \n\nWhen I got home, mum opened the door for me and I stepped inside, tripping slightly over the step - I guess I forgot how high it was. I began to visualise the living room in my head. *Okay, so the sofa should be around here?* Nope. My waving hand met nothingness. Mum guided me over to where I thought I was originally, and helped me sit down. *But that was like, 2 feet from where I thought the sofa was, how could I have got it so wrong?* I kept my growing fears to myself and smiled in what I hoped was the direction of my mum. \n\nLater, as I was in my room I began to have the same feeling I used to when I would shut my eyes. I felt like I was drowning. How was I going to live the rest of my life like this? *There could literally be someone standing behind me right now and I would have absolutely no idea.* My paranoia began to grow and I collapsed onto what I thought was my bed, only to land on the floor, hitting my head on the very end of my bed in the process. \n\n*I can't live like this.* The world seemed like such a huge place. How would I be able to function without my sight? I had this stick that the hospital had given me, but I had no idea what it was hitting right now. *It could be hitting anything.* \n\n*I can't do this. I can't do this!! I need to open my eyes. I need to see.*"
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[WP]You are bored at work when suddenly you hear a gunshot. Colleagues all around you open drawers and pull out guns of their own. One of them looks at you and says: "It's on, motherfucker!"
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"It was just another day at the office. The work was boring, and the chairs were just uncomfortable enough to keep your lower back in constant pain. As I stared at the computer screen, barely making an effort to concentrate, I wondered what it would be like if something actually happened around here. Something to break the monotony. Almost subconsciously, I took out a pencil, held it in my hand like a gun, and mouthed the word 'bang'. As soon as my lips closed around the last syllable, the pencil in my hand let out a deafening roar. Startled, I fell backwards out of my chair and onto my back, and saw all of my coworkers looking at me in shock. Then the shock in their faces turned into hatred, and they immediately grabbed guns from their desk drawers and pointed them at me.\n\"Whoa, guys- calm down. I have no idea what just happened, probably some sort of computer malfunction or something. I didn't have anything to do with it.\"\nOne of my coworkers took a step forward, face contorted in rage, and my dazed mind recognized him as Tim, the asshole that nobody liked.\n\"Oho, you don't have anything to do with it? That's fucking rich. I bet my ass you have everything to do with it. It's on, motherfucker!\"\nAs he fired, I ducked under my desk, silently thanking the genius who decided to line the undersides with metal sheets. As I sat there, listening to the bullets pinging off the metal, I tried to think of what could have caused the gunshot that set everyone off. I looked down at my hand, still clutching the pencil, and moved my fingers into the same position they were in at the time. Pointing the tip of the pencil at nothing in particular, I mouthed 'bang'. Again, the pencil let out a roar and jerked backwards as a hole appeared in the wall in front of me. Slack-jawed, I gazed at the pencil for several seconds before remembering I was in the middle of a gunfight. I put my hand above the desk, and swung the pencil side to side, mouthing 'bang' as fast as I could. Every few seconds I heard a grunt or scream of pain that let me know I had hit someone. Within minutes, all the gunfire died down and I felt it was safe to get out from under the desk.\nThe office was covered in blood, with dead or dying bodies littered every few feet. As I surveyed the scene in horror, a bloody hand grasped my ankle. When I looked down, I saw it was Tim, face no longer angry but drawn and white. He coughed up some blood and attempted to speak to me, but his hands went limp before he could get any proper words out. In shock, I went back under the desk and curled up in the fetal position, remaining that way until I was found by the police. Though they questioned me extensively in custody, I pretended that I had simply hidden under my desk when a gunfight broke out for an unknown reason. Because they were unable to find any evidence linking me to a firearm, the police let me go, and I have led a relatively normal life since then. I now work at a different office that is remarkably similar to the last one. As much as I try to forget, though, I can't forget Tim's lifeless eyes, accusing me- and I never once made a finger gun again."
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[WP] You are a city health inspector that always seems to accidentally solve high end murder cases. The FBI would like you have a word with you.
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"\"Hello, my name is Gene Sanders and I work with D.C.'s Health Department. I'm here to do a random inspection of the restaurant.\" \n\nGene had already been to 3 different restaurants that day, and just like any other day, everything was going fine except for a few minor infractions. A cook wasn't wearing something on their head, a pizza oven was a little too dirty, typical things he encountered every day. Of course, none of the businesses he dealt with really liked him, but why would a restaurant like a city health inspector? \n\nLately however, Gene had been getting into some odd situations. Last week, he had gone into a restaurant, and went to go do a routine inspection of the walk in freezer. As he walked around in there, everything seemed fine. As he was leaving however, he looked at a shelf and noticed something off about it. There appeared to be a door behind the shelf. Gene called into the office, but the building plans didn't include a room branching off of the walk-in. He quietly moved the shelf and opened the door, only to find a body.\n\nAs quickly as he could, he closed the door, put the shelf back, and left the freezer. He went up to the restaurant manager, thanked him for his help, and left. The second he got out the door he dialed 911, and within minutes, police were on the scene and were bringing all of the staff in for questioning. It turned out that the body in the freezer had belonged to a lawyer involved in a very high-profile murder investigation. \n\nThis wasn't the first time this had happened however. A month before that incident, Gene was doing an inspection at a different eatery all the way on the other side of town. He went to go look in their store room, and ended up finding several body parts of a missing city council woman from Baltimore.\n\nGene was really hoping that this wasn't becoming a trend, but boy was he wrong.\n\n\"One second sir, let me get the owner from the back,\" said the peppy young hostess working the door.\n\nThe owner came out, and the two talked like Gene always did with restaurant owners, and Gene went on his way to look around the place. As he was walking around, he came across nothing out of the ordinary. He went to go check in with the owner before he left. As he walked past the store room to the office however, he heard yelling from inside the office. He peeked through a crack in the door, only to see the owner waving a silenced gun around, talking to a man who was tied to a chair with a gag in his mouth. \n\nThe good news was, that since the first incident, Gene had applied to carry a sidearm with him, and he had just finished all of the training and paperwork the weekend before. Gene went into the storeroom and called 911. Again, the police were there within minutes, and after a brief hostage negotiation, the owner was arrested and the hostage was rescued.\n\nAfter these incidents, Gene always had to stick around to talk to the police and give a statement. While he was there, he learned that the restaurant owner was actually a mob boss and was using his restaurant as a front to launder money.\n\nAfter Gene finished with the police, he went home, and poured himself a nice tall glass of whiskey. He began sipping on it and turned on the TV. The news was on, and coincidentally, they were talking about the case he was involved in. He opened up Netflix and began browsing. He started up another episode of Criminal Minds, but had to pause it almost immediately due to a knock at the door. \n\nHe got out of his recliner, walked over to the door, and opened it. What was on the other side shocked him. \"Hello sir, I'm Agent Canton and this is my partner, Agent Donovan. We'd like to talk to you about the cases you've been involved in lately.\" The two men seemed completely serious.\n\n\"Oh, I uhhh.... You know I had nothing to do with those, correct?\" Gene was terrified.\n\n\"Of course sir, but since this is the third incident you've been involved in in two months, we have some follow up questions to ask. Do you mind if we come inside?\" As Gene nodded, they made their way inside and sat down on the couch. \"Did you have any prior knowledge that these restaurants were partaking in criminal behavior?\"\n\n\"No sir,\" Gene responded, still incredibly nervous. The days started out just like any other, I just got assigned to come to these restaurants to do a routine health inspection. I don't know why all of this is happening to me, I didn't want it, I don't want it, and I don't know how to make it stop.\"\n\nThe second agent started talking. \"Sir, we believe you had no part in all of this, but the Bureau has taken a keen interest in you because of these events. We want to offer you an opportunity.\"\n\n\"What kind of opportunity?\" Gene's emotions had shifted from nervous to a mix of nervousness and curiosity. \n\n\"We want you to train to be a government agent. You would tell the people at the Health Department that you're going on vacation for a month. But instead of going on vacation, you would be training to be an agent. Now, the reason that you would be going on vacation instead of quitting, is that you're going to go back to work after the training. You're going to be trained with a specific interest on crime scene investigation. This will assist you in looking for suspicious things, like what you're already finding, except you'll have professional training now. Are you keeping up with me here Mr. Sanders? I know this is a lot to take in all at once.\"\n\n\"Wow.\" That was about all that Gene's mouth could utter at the moment. He was completely surprised. \n\n\"I think I'm going to have to take some time to think about this.\"\n\nAgent Canton gave a reassuring nod. \"Of course sir. When you've made your decision, call my number and we can further discuss options. You have a wonderful night sir.\" \n\nYou both have a good night as well,\" exclaimed Gene. One of the agents handed him a card, and then they both left. Gene was completely dumbfounded. he picked back up his whiskey, went back into his den, and sat back down in his recliner.\n\nThe piece of information that Gene had left out is that he had already known that there was something going on at these restaurants. He had already been working for the FBI, but his position was top secret. He picked up his cell phone and dialed a number. After his call was picked up, Gene said, \"SSA Garret? You'll never believe who just came to my door.\"\n\n\n"
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[WP] After a long day, you come home to find your house set ablaze, with a person outside holding a matchbook. The issue is that the person holding the matchbook is you.
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"\"What in the FUCK?\" I uttered angrily. I was about to rush up to this person burning down my house before I realized who it was. Me. I'd never burn down my house- would I? I hated the house with a BURNING passion. I chuckled slightly at my cleverness before looking down at myself. Except I wasn't there. But I was. I ran up to myself, and without hesitating, asked: \"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!\" I shook my shoulders. All I got was a shocked gasp. \"... I'm in CONTROL?\" \"What now?\" I was confused. \"All this time I've been a helpless, useless dual personality- BUT NOW I'M IN CONTROL! AND I CAN BURN EVERYTHING!\" The unreal me jumped up and down in glee.\n\n\"What?\" I blinked, shocked. \"BURN, MAKE THE WORLD BURN~\" I looked up in horror at the smoke in the sky, swirling around like graceful ballerina dancers. I let out a gasp. \"WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!\" I screeched. The distant alarms- I knew to be a Fire Truck's- was blaring. \"Okay, okay, burn things sure- but not now. Now we need to hide.\" I pushed myself slightly, the crazy version of myself humming daintily and skipping off. I ran after them, watching my red hair bouncing off my shoulders. I'd hate this. Next thing I'd know or something is that she'd chop off my hair. My beautiful hair.\n\nBut I wouldn't let her get me arrested. No way did I want to be stuck in prison- not with a roommate who was a... well, something I didn't want to think about. I gulped, running after her as she skipped to find somewhere to hide.\n\nIt was going to be a long day- week? Month? Year? Years? I still had no idea. But now I'm stuck with someone who wants to burn everything."
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Inspired by the Sims :)
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[WP] Your neighbour has decided to build a spaceship in his backyard. You have problems with this idea.
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"I knew the idiot couldn't hear me. He was lost in his own thoughts. Trying to talk to him over the fence was doing nothing.\n\nI decided to just hop over! I mean, what the hell, right? I'd never been in his backyard before, which was a sudden strange realization because I'd known Patrick's family for over four decades now.\n\n\"Mr. Neil,\" the numb nut said, entirely startled. He dropped the box wrench he'd been toying with. It clanged as it connected with other tools on the ground.\n\n\"Old boy, what in the world are you doing?\" I asked. I feigned a smile, but honestly, I was very irritated. This little punk had been working on this contraption fot several days now.\n\nPatrick smiled back, though his was genuine. \"Sir, I'm building a spaceship!\" he replied happily.\n\n\"A spaceship?\"\n\n\"Yes, sir!\"\n\n\"Boy, can't you do that some other time? I'm missing my programs! All this darn noise is driving me up a wall!\"\n\nThe young man hesitated. In all my years knowing Patrick, he'd never once spoken back to me negatively. His father and I had been great friends. We would go over to each other's homes regularly to drink beer, watch sports, boink one another's wives, all the good wholesome stuff that these millennials know nothing about. Hard work, I tell ya.\n\n\"Sir,\" Patrick finally spoke up.\n\n\"Yeah, kiddo?\"\n\nHe wasn't a kid anymore, of course. He had to be in his mid-20's by now, but I wasn't sure.\n\n\"I don't give a fuck what you think, old man,\" Patrick declared. \"I'm building my spaceship, and I'll be working on it everyday until it's ready!\"\n\n\"How long do you suppose that'll be?\" I asked.\n\n\"Well, I'm actually done now, sir,\" Patrick replied sheepishly.\n\n\"Now what?\"\n\n\"I don't know... I thought I'd go see the moon or something...\"\n\nI looked at this determined little retard, patted him on his back and said, \"Nice.\"",
"Being a light sleeper is more of a curse than a blessing, I have always thought, which was why I chose to live out in the suburbs, away from the hustle and bustle of the city life. Less noise, less traffic, and I could get eight full hours of uninterrupted quiet rest. Well, that was until my next door neighbour, Alex, started his little pet project in his backyard.\n\nDay in and day out he was banging, drilling, sawing and soldering god knows what behind his house. He would start at 7 am everyday without fail, and continuing it well until midnight. It was strange after a while, because I had always thought that Alex had a regular office job, not a freelance construction worker. Though the structure that he was building looked nothing like what I was familiar with.\n\nWhat bothered me more of course was the noise, and after about a week or so, I decided to confront him, in addition to finding out what he was really up to.\n\nOur backyard was only separated by a simple wooden fence not taller than my shoulder, so it was easy to just talk to each other over it. By the time I went to confront Alex, the structure he was building was already as tall as a single storey house. And it doesn't look like he was stopping either.\n\n\"So Alex, what are you building there?\" I shouted over the fence.\n\nAlex peered at me from beneath his welding mask, a smile forming on his face. \"He said you'll be here to help!\"\n\n\"What?\" I asked, surprised by the response. \"Who?\"\n\nAlex climbed down from the ladder he was standing on and walked towards me. His clothes was stained with oil and dirt, and a beard was already growing on his face when he used to be clean shaven. \"Oh, god!\" he simply said, as if I was supposed to know what he meant.\n\nI don't. I had been an atheist for as long as I can remember it and God to me was nothing but a delusional concept. There was no god who asked me to help Alex either. I told Alex that.\n\nHe simply shook his head, the smile still on his face. \"Ah, it's okay, He said you would not listen initially, just like me, but you'll come around eventually,\" Alex said, before climbing back up the ladder and resuming his task.\n\nGreat, so my neighbour is suffering from a bout of schizophrenia, I thought to myself. Unsure of how to respond, I backed away slowly from the fence and walked back to my house. Alex was certainly going crazy and I was planning to call the police or the local authorities to take a look at him. Who knows what other delusions he might have.\n\nAs I walked over to the kitchen counter to pick up my phone, a book lying on the dining table caught my eye. It was wrapped in a cheery red ribbon and I did not remember seeing it before I went to confront Alex. I approached the book cautiously, and written on the cover were the words \"Spaceship building for dummies.\"\n\nA note laid beside the book, with a simple signature. \"Love, God.\"\n\n------\n\n/r/dori_tales",
"\"Mr Jonathan Brainscramble!\" I said his whole name to mean I'm serious. \"I've been tolerating weird noises coming from your house but this is a step too much! What is that thing?\" \nJonathan Brainscramble looks at me rather incredulously. \"It's a spaceship? What do you think this is, a metal bathroom? hahaha\" \n\"Yeah, sure, a spaceship,\" I rolled my eyes. \"Can you build you 'spaceship' somewhere else? It's noisy and so distracting. My kids are having a hard time playing.\" \n\"Sorry Jim, no can do.\" Jonathan bent down and lift something from the ground, it was a small brat, barely able to hold the pliers in his hands. \"You see, my 6 year old son had a science project due next monday soo...\" \n\"I build spaceships!\" the little brat gave an unsolicited yell. \n\"Yeah, sorry Jim.\" \nI was flustered. \"You are giving my kids a hard time! Look, they can't play right here when you keep making that noise!\" I pointed to my yard, where two kids was building a castle out of sand. \n\"Wow, your kids are making sand castle? Jim i hate to tell you but there's probably cat shit in there. \" \n\"Watch your mouth!\" I said. \"And no more noises!\" I said again before i went inside my home and slam the door. \nMr Jonathan and his son were silent. \n\"I hate that man...\" said the little brat. \n\"Yeah, me too.\" \n\"Can we build spaceships again?\" the brat smiled at the mention of spaceships. \n\"Sorry kid. We're done here. No matter what, you should respect your neighbor y'hear? Now why dont you come inside and help me devise a plan to destroy the world.\" \n",
"\"Woah woah woah, buddy! What in the world do you think you're doing?!\" I had to yell at him over his machinery. Luckily, it was enough to get him to turn everything off for a second and turn to me.\n\n\n\"What? You got another problem with how I spend my free time?\" he shot back.\n\n\n\"Typical,\" I thought, \"this must be another one of his crazy projects.\"\n\"Well...yes. I do. I'm trying to watch the game over here but I can't hear a damned thing over all your bullshit equipment!\"\n\n\n\"Sounds like a personal problem, amigo,\" he said turning back around to start his equipment back up.\n\n\n\"Can't you just stop for a bit until the game's over? Come on, it's only got like another 45 minutes.\"\n\n\n\"No can do, boss, I'm on a tight schedule.\"\n\n\n\"A schedule? What the hell kind of schedule do you have that requires your clamoring on a Saturday?\"\n\n\n\"Spaceship.\"\n\n\n\"What.\"\n\n\n\"You heard me. I'm making a spaceship.\"\n\n\n\"No no I heard you the first time. So is that it? You've finally lost it, huh? Now you're making spaceships. What was it last week, a jetpack?\"\n\n\n\"SpaceSHIP. Singular.\"\n\n\n\"What?\"\n\n\n\"You said spaceSHIPS. That's wrong. I've only gotta make the one.\"\n\n\n\"You're a real piece of work, huh? Not all there?\"\n\n\n\"Not more work than your girlfriend though.\"\n\n\n\"Mature, real mature, dick. You know, that last project didn't end so well. The hole's still in your ceiling. Would've thought you'd learn your lesson about doing stupid things.\"\n\n\n\"Yeah, well I guess not, oh well. You gonna lecture me or let me get back to work? I gotta finish this in time for my boy's birthday.\"\n\n\n\"Whatever, just try to not kill yourself.\"\nAs I walked back inside, I couldn't help but feel sorry for the guy. His wife had taken the kids and left about 8 months ago. I remember overhearing something about him being a slave to his job at some engineering firm during one of their many arguments. He'd gotten obsessed with these projects since then, day in day out. I guess he's just trying to make something nice for his kids now. I'm not sure, but we have the same conversation every weekend...and I mean the last part. He just looks so sad. "
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[WP] One of the postnatal checks provides a score indicating probability of success
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"I tried as hard as I could to maintain my stance but my knees buckled beneath me. I collapsed to the floor as I saw my wife begin to sob. My head was spinning and all I could hear was the steady th-thump, th-thump coming from my chest. How was this possible? After all we’d been through. The tests, the precautions, the money. Oh god… The money we’d spent. How could this be? There must have been a mistake, a misreading of the data, something must be wrong. Doctors make mistakes all the time, right? My knuckles were burying themselves deeper into my hair as I tried to contain myself. The doctor was stammering something but I couldn’t sit there and do nothing as our lives came crumbling down. \n\n“NO!” I interrupted, “There has to have been some kind of mistake… we… the tests… honey… we did everything they asked… we… spent thousands… f…for this?”\n\t\n“Mr. and Mrs. Gallagher, we cannot begin to imagine how you are feeling right now. But we can’t stress enough that your daughter is alive, and the test doesn’t mean…” The nurse began to say.\n\t\n“BULL FUCKING SHIT. We all god damn know that test doesn’t make mistakes. Two percent. Two Fucking Percent?! Are you kidding me? We gave up EVERYTHING! And now you have the audacity to come in here and try to tell us it’s going to be alright?!” I spatted out. \n\t\nI could feel my blood boiling with anger. I looked over at my wife who was now laying in a puddle in the hospital bed, sobbing uncontrollably. I had never seen her so sad in my entire life. Our world had just came crashing down. Of all the people to deserve news like this… Amy wasn’t one of them. I could feel my eyes beginning to swell as I looked back over at the nurse. \n\t\n“I… I’m sorry… but… two percent? Is… can’t there be… there has to be… two percent?” I stuttered out. I had heard of cases with children born with a fifteen percent chance to survive, who despite the odds had managed to live healthy lives. But no one born with a survival rate below eight percent has made it past nine months old. \n\t\n“We’re terribly sorry Mr. and Mrs. Gallagher. But with the extreme severity of your daughter’s result, we double and triple checked the results. We even sent testing samples to a second screening facility in New Hampshire. The results were unanimous. Given her complex disorder… The best possible outcome for her life expectancy is forty-eight hours.” The nurse said as she handed me a file folder.\n\t\n“F… Forty… Forty-eight… H… Hours??” I stammered.\n\t\n“We are terribly sorry Mr. Gallagher; however, we must reiterate that miracles can happen, and although it may be extremely rare for someone with this rate to survive, that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. We recommend that you and your wife take this time to be with your newborn daughter. And when you are ready, we’d like to discuss some… options… that you have going forward.” She said, as she nodded toward our new born daughter’s incubator in the corner, before she stepped outside the room, closing the door behind her.\n\t\nI could hear Amy’s crying begin to soften as she tried to regain some composure. I looked up at her and her big green, bloodshot, eyes. I grabbed her hand as I stood up and pulled her into my arms. She nuzzled her head under my chin and let out a couple of sobs.\n\t\n“M… maybe it’ll... there’s always a... we’re gonna do this right? What if she’s a fighter…?” She muffled out with her face buried in my chest. \n\t\n“Amy… look…” I said as I brought her face up to meet my eyes. “I don’t care what that test says. Our daughter is going to be a fighter, she’s going to defy the odds and we are going to get through this battle.” I said as I attempted to muster out a half smile. “She has you, Amy Gallagher, as her mother. If that doesn’t make her a fighter… I don’t know what will.” \n\t\nAmy’s eyes lit up with warmth, and she leaned in and kissed me harder than anything my lips had ever…\n\t\n“EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! Daddy staaaaap! That’s grooooossssss! I said I wanted a good story tonight!” \n\t\n“Well honey, the best story I know of is of the day we had you!” I said as I leant down and gave her a peck on the forehead, completing the tuck-in ritual for the night. “You are the greatest thing that ever happened to your mommy and me, and you know what? You showed those doctors and nurses that you really are a Gallagher, a true warrior!” I turned off the lamp beside her bed and began making my way out of her bedroom.\n\t\n“Daddy wait!” She cried out.\n\t\n“What is it honey?” I asked back.\n\t\n“I love you. Goodnight daddy!” She said with a beaming smile. \n\t\n“I love you too Hope. Goodnight darling.” \n\t\n"
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[WP] The Sahara was once a tall, resplendent, boisterous forest...
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"\"...I remember it like yesterday. The rich and vibrant green teeming with life.\"\n\nThe old man muttered while puffing a pipe.\n\nI looked out across the silver sands, colored by the blazing moon. It was hard to imagine anything growing on these sands.\n\nThey were so fine and smooth, they coursed through your fingers when you scooped them. But the real trouble was when you had to walk over them.\n\n\"What happened?\" I obligatorily asked.\n\nThe tobacco in the pipe crackled red as the old man drew another puff. The silence of the desert only served to amplify that sound. The rest of the caravan was sound asleep, except for a few caravan guards that stood watch, their eyes scanning every bit of the silver horizon.\n\n\"Greed...boundless and insatiable human greed.\" The old man muttered\n\n\"Back then, the forest seemed endless. Even the old city sat in a sea of trees. We cut down woods for everything. At first it was simply out of necessity. Houses had to be built, stoves fed, and tools to be made. Within a decade, however, we found ourselves consuming the forest for luxuries. Grand buildings and monuments, the work never ended.\"\n\nThe old man stopped to quench his lips. \n\n\"The city grew, and with that so did our demand for things. Soon, we were having to walk farther and farther from the city for our needs. But even then, the forest, sprawling as far as the eye could see, seemed limitless. We never gave it much thought. By and by, the land grew more barren, and when we finally realized we needed to consider an alternative, it was too late.\"\n\n\"And then it came. It used to rain a lot, did you know that? Not like the rain we have nowadays. Drought was a thing we never experienced. The soils began to dry, and when it rained, it lost all power to hold the water.\"\n\nI'd heard of the flood before. A torrential rain had swept the region, destroying all in its path. There was nothing to hold the water back, and it had become almost mythified now, as some kind of punishment from the gods.\n\nThe few that survived found themselves in a completely new environment. Rains became less frequent, until they were almost unheard of. The ground, parched and cracked, began to powder, forming what was the desert I see now.\n\n\"We never realize until its too late. And even then, some still don't realize.\" \n\nI mused on the old man's words."
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[WP] Every time you've tried you use your time machine, another you travels back in time and stops you. Today he never came and you got to do exactly what you set out to.
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"Turns out I was hungry for his company so I set out through time to find my future self.\n\nI tracked the fermions from his flux capacitor to the middle of the Cretaceous.\n\nHey future self, what gives? You always stop me from changing the past. What are you doing back here?\n\n\"Someday you will learn, Me, look but don't touch. You touch a thing and you destroy it.\"\n\nSo you just go around spying. What's the point? I created this machine to stop Hitler, but then you said I inadvertently caused the future extinction of the Jews. Then I was going to go back and stop the terrorists from 9/11 but you said Sadaam Hussein eventually grew powerful enough to topple the USA. Really though, all I can do is observe?\n\n\"Isn't that enough. You can't change anything because the results of any action are completely unpredictable after the immediate act.\"\n\nSo it's best to do nothing.\n\n\"Yes.\"\n\nBut you observe, that's something.\n\n\"You call watching tv doing something? You call surfing the World Wide Web something? In the future we are all simply watching and talking together about what we saw and that's enough. Everything has already happened. We just enjoy it.\"\n\nI still want to kill Hitler.\n\n\"Do it in simulation. He's a popular construct.\"\n\nThe future. I should go there one of these days.\n\n\"You'd think it was boring.\"\n\nYou do know me very well.\n\n\"Better than you know you, because I know what will happen to you... Well, I came here to get away and you are ruining my day.\"\n\nOh yeah, sorry. I'll get going.\n\nthe end\n\n\n"
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[WP] We live below a sea of air. Like fish, when we come near the surface we see a blurred vision of what is out there, with no idea what it is. Right now, there are aliens fishing for us. One has just caught you and is bragging to his friends what a great catch you are.
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"\"Look at this biggie wriggling on the hook. Amazing size for this part of the pond.\"\n\nOw! Ow!\n\n\"Look at him struggle. Shall I get the hook out?\"\n\n*rip*\n\n\"Stand him up. Let's see what he says... what do you have to say fish?\"\n\nThough I am in a lot of pain. I will try to understand why you've done this to me for I am not a fish but a man like you.\n\n\"We fished you out of a pond good for fishing.\"\n\nYou mean my civilization!\n\n\"Fish always give short speeches before we kill them I assume since you are not a fish that you will spare us the usual rigmarole.\"\n\nAnd see you get down to the killing. What sort of man do you take me for.\n\n\"...a fish?\"\n\nListen, don't I have a family like you? Don't I have aspirations? Don't I deserve a future?\n\n\"Don't we deserve a meal. You'd rather we starve?\"\n\nSpare me. Eat a carrot.\n\n\"You taste better.\"\n\nYou'd eat your own children if they tasted good enough, wouldn't you. You savage.\n\n\"Well, most fish just beg for life. You seem to be saying something else. You might not be a fish.\"\n\nI am the same as my brothers. We are fish, if that's what we are to you, but you must also admit fish are people too.\n\n\"That flies in the face of our fish grubbing culture. You are food.\"\n\nI am more than food.\n\n\"What more are you to me?\"\n\nA fellow traveler on this planet. We are born. We enjoy a short time in the sun, then we shuffle off into the shadows to be forgotten. We're the same in this way.\n\n\"I don't buy that. I believe the universe as I experience it is purely a construct of my mind and therefore the aim of our culture is optimizing personal enjoyment. And for me, that takes fish. Sorry.\n\n*slam*\n\nthe end"
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[WP] A girl dies at the park when she is 5 y/o but don't know it, and can't understand why no one can see or hear her. 10 year lonely years later a teen boy with depression sees her...
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"Hey are you a ghost.\n\n\"No, I'm a little girl.\"\n\nNo. You are a ghost. You're not supposed to be here!\n\n\"I'm a little girl. I'm not a ghost. Until now I've been invisible.\"\n\nInvisible? What! This is incredible! How did you become invisible?\n\n\"I'm not sure. I can't remember anything. I've been looking around this park for my mom.\"\n\nOh? There's no one here.\n\n\"Can you help me get home.\"\n\nOf course. That would get to the bottom of how you became so translucent and ghostlike. Invisibility is a great tool. To be invisible, just think. To be honest with you I've been feeling depressed lately and this might be just the thing...\n\nSo I drove her home but when I got to the door and knocked a haggard faced woman opened it.\n\n\"My daughter's been dead ten years.\"\n\nBut she's right here next to me.\n\nI turned and she was gone.\n\nI never discovered the secret of invisibility.\n\nthe end"
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[WP] After finding out little Suzy lied about her cancer, the Make-A-Wish foundation sets out to un-grant her wish.
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"She started to feel the pulsating pain in her arm. It started at her finger tips and quickly travelled up her hand as if her blood had been replaced with needles which cut her insides with every breathe. In the next moment, she felt an immense pain over take her entire being. In the moment after that, she was still. She took a breathe to remember she was still alive. After she had grown numb to the pain, she slowly moved her hand to her mouth and took a drag of her cigarette. Her feet gave out beneath her as she slid down the brickwall of a building which composed one half of a narrow alleyway. \n\nFor the first time in what felt like eternity she felt her body again. And she had remembered all the wounds which riddled it. She drifted in and out of focus, fixating on the blurry silhouettes of her legs which occupied the length of the alley. She could make out all the slashes and bullet holes. She moved her head towards the inside of alley, her vision slowly panning travelling a second behind. The length of the alleyway seemed to stretch for eternity. A barely visible white light in the center marked the other end. The dead bodies of the repo men, twisted and mutilated, littered the floor. Swords protruding at every angle, guns scattered on the ground. Blood and limbs painted the brick and the concrete. She began to tire, her vision losing depth. The alley began to seem like an abstract work of art. \n\nSuddenly a sweeping numbness began to over take her and she felt the lightest she had ever felt. A spectre, making her peace with an imperfect world. The light at the end of the tunnel grew and grew as the she let herself surrender to anything for the first time. As the whiteness overtook her, a face began to take shape. \n\n\"Little Susie, Little Susie,\" a teenage female voice teased. The voice sounded familiar to her but she couldn't remember who it belonged to.\n\n \"Don't call me that,\" came a shrieking retort. She felt the voice come from inside her chest burning it way out of her body. It was hers. From a past self. She remembered being seven years old.\n\n\"Oh Susie, dont get mad. If you promise to stop pouting, ill let you in on a little secret,\" The kind glowing face in front of her said. \n\n\"Hmmmmm, ok but it better be a good one,\" she heard herself respond. \n\nThe face in front of her moved within inches of her face. She found herself lost in the most radiant smile and she had never felt so safe. \"Its the little things that make the biggest difference.\"\n\nSuddenly a jolt shot through her spine and she felt every neuron in her brain light up at the same time. She snapped back to reality with hyper focus. She rested her body, seeing which muscles still had the strength to move. With every ounce of will left within her, she reached for a little black box lying a couple feet away, connected by chain and extending away from a dead repo man. She raised the box to her mouth, \"code name cancer,\" she paused to catch her breathe, \"eliminated.\"\n\nHer arms dropped down, rapidly slamming the concrete. She could no longer feel anything. She was only a mind, resolving its final musings on the world for sport. \n\nCigareete in her mouth, dying in alley in the pouring rain, she smiled, \"I'm such a cliche.\" \n\nThe look in her eyes flared between nothingness and gratitude. \"Wherever you are big sis, I hope you're okay.\"\n\nAnd the world cut to black.",
"\"Wait. Suzanne did *what?*\" I asked. \n \"She lied. She doesn't have cancer. She made it all up just for some goddamn celebrity to come and talk to her. Talk about desperate, heh\".\nCharles doesn't seem to care. But I do. She faked a terminal, traumatizing disease just to talk to some kid from YouTube she likes. I've been working at Make-A-Wish for 9 years and I never realized someone could do something so scummy. The girl is 12! She should know better. I can't believe this. You know what? I'm taking back her wish. I've gone and riled myself up, but seriously. This isn't okay! I'll completely undo her wish.\n I just sent an email to the youtuber. You wouldn't believe how easily you can get that kind of stuff. I explain to him that Suzy actually faked her cancer and his email was so filled with hate you wouldn't believe it. I was thinking that I was angry, but jeez. \n Anyway, I send Suzy and her family an email and have them come down to our office. When Suzy arrives, she sees this youtuber- his name's Dan, I learned- and her face splits into a malicious grin. I feel my lips curl into an even more malicious grin. I have her sit in some spare plastic chair I found while me and Dan sit in our large leather chairs. I recline mine a bit, while Dan leans forward until he's inches away from her face. Her eyes are practically bulging out of her head. I watch in anticipation as he takes a deep breath, preparing to tell her off. \nOh. Oh man. She is TWELVE. He's sitting here using swear words I haven't even heard of. It took her less than a second to recoil in shock. Oh, jeeezus. She is in tears. She is about to flood this whole damn office. I decide to stop Dan, now. She's learned her lesson. I usher her out of the room, to her mom. Her mom is visibly shaken. I hear Suzy starting to babble and cry, and I run back into my office. I'm in here now. I'm so about to get sued. Lord help me, why do I feel so bad? She literally faked cancer!"
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[WP] It wasn't humans who built the Tower of Babel. It was bees.
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"My father once told me a story that he claimed had been passed down from the oldest times. Once, as he told it, there was the hive of bees. I interrupted him to ask if he meant the hive at the bottom of the garden and he sighed, pushed his glasses up his nose and explained that back then there was only one hive then and if I interrupted again I wouldn't get dessert for the next week. With such an awful threat looming over me I quietened up to listen.\n\n\"Back then the hive was prosperous. The bees worked and harvested the flowers of the land and themselves grew large and strong. Their hive grew and grew, always adding new rooms, ever building outwards and upwards. It was a splendid sight to gaze upon, visible from miles away jutting up from the horizon.\n\n\"People eventually came to the hive but they were a primitive people, easily fascinated. They gazed up at the monolithic hive with awe and settled nearby, tending the fertile land the bees had kept for so long. The bees did not mind. The humans took only the fruits of the trees and plants and the flowers were left for the bees. So it continued for many years and the hive grew ever taller.\n\n\"Now, these people brought with them a god capable of great mercy but also capable of great wrath. They made a critical mistake and bowed down to the hive, for what had they witnessed in their lives that compared to the glorious peak of the hive piercing the sky?\n\n\"The first rule of their god was \"You shall have no other Gods but me,\" and the people had disobeyed with their worship of the hive. Their god visited upon them a curse. He confused their language so they could no longer understand each other, and they scattered. Now, I would not take it \n\n\"God was angry and brought down the curse of tongues upon all who settled near the hive. I do not know if he intended to, but he also cursed the bees so none could understand each other. The humans scattered shortly and the hive began to fall into chaos. The workers could no longer understand the queen's direction and the foundations of the hive began to fall into disrepair. Instead of overseeing construction or harvests the queen's daughters fled the collapsing hive. You'll never find the hive today. It's all dust and memories.\"\n\nMy father paused here. \"Is that how bees came to build thousands of separate hives?\" I asked hesitantly.\n\n\"No,\" he replied, \"You need to learn that your actions affect those around you. Your mother nearly broke her neck when she tripped over your skateboard.\""
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Feel free to write from any perspective, like from the dealer, user, or DEA agent's perspective.
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[WP] In a world in black and white, a new illegal drug becomes popular that allows you to dream in color.
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"Indescribable.\n\nThat's what Joe told me it would be like, the first time. How do you describe sound to a deaf man? How do you tell him that there is a whole plane of experience that he cannot imagine? You can't.\n\nNo one knew that objects could be more than lighter or darker, that our brains had the ability to experience \"color\". Our dreams are filled with emotions we've never experienced in our monochromatic reality. When we sleep, our minds are alive like they have never been. The novelty never wears off, each dream is a brand new wave of euphoria that makes our soul shiver with excitement. The sky, the leaves, the face of your lover. It is like being alive for the first time, reborn into a world of impossible stimulation.\n\nBut it is just that. Impossible. Following the discovery of Chroma-A, a scientific inquiry was launched. 1000 years underground robbed humans of their ability to distinguish different frequencies of visible light, even though our brains still remember the old forgotten language of color.\n\nWe used to live content lives. A deaf man never longs for the sound of a violin. But now, every morning is a disappointment. My wife whips away a single tear as she sits up in bed. The men at the lab have less spark in their eyes as they go about their work. Over time, people have recovered from the shock. Some have sworn off of Chroma-A, knowing that it only dulls their reality.\n\nWhatever cruel God sent us this miracle, I pray that he takes it back and lets us forget the color we are blind to. Our dreams are consuming our minds, invading our daily thoughts. We forsake our reality, and we only think about what we hope to see that night. Dreams are all we have to look forward to."
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[WP] The Conspiracy theorists were half right. Those planes aren't spraying pesticides, but they aren't mind control chemicals either...
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"\"Custard?\", I said with a slight tone of both bewilderment and disappointment. \n\"Yes ma'am. Custard\", he answered me abashedly. I picked up the tin laying a few decimeters from his his feet. \n\"Powdered custard at that, not even the good stuff\". The thoughts were spinning wildly in my head put they where obviously nothing to those of the poor general's. Even his moustache seemed to be trying to avoid my eyes. The situation was far too absurd to even laugh at. \n\"But why?\", I finally managed to ask. \n\"Well, for starters it's a fair amount cheaper\", he started before I shoutingly interrupted him: \n\"But it doesn't work! Surely you must see that it is having no effect, what so ever!\". His gaze didn't waiver from his neatly tied shoes. \n\"Actually ma'am, it is worse than nothing. Several farmers in the area have reported an increased amount of damage to their crops. Preliminary tests have shown that caterpillars enjoy the taste of custard far more than anticipated\". I looked at him, even more perplexed (as if that was possible). \n\"I don't think you are taking this seriously General Tomlin. The farmers do not concern me in the slightest. Now, if you could be so kind as to tell me what you've done with the real mind control chemicals\"."
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[WP] You live in in the world of Lord of the Rings. While everyone is fighting to protect the walls of Helm's Deep, you are sleeping. Your job once you wake up? Clean up the bodies from the aftermath.
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"My watch blipped me awake. I squinted at the faintly glowing numbers and let out a muffled groan. Just after dawn. Wherever I ended up, I hoped they had espresso.\n\nAnd febreze. I could practically taste the BO of the dead, heavy body on me. It mingled with the reek of blood and damp metal. I managed to shove my way halfway out from under it before heaving up the vodka martinis I had for dinner. \n\n\"...because he's got *my* axe embedded in his nervous system!\"\n\nWiping my mouth, I took a quick glance around. Dammit. By the looks of things this morning, today's corpse disposal would take place in a high fantasy world. So no coffee. I slipped off my watch and tucked it into my pocket. Or tried to. Looking down, I groaned. Chainmail? How the hell do they expect us to work in chainmail? Disguise is one thing, but hefting bodies while wearing several dozen pounds of metal is ridiculous.\n\nAdd to the fact I had the mother of all hangovers (which don't mix with interdimensional travel, let me tell you) and it looked like today would suck major-\n\n\"Fitz?\"\n\nI put the watch back on and tugged the undertunic over my wrist to cover. Turning, I squinted against the sun bouncing off a old fart in a gleaming white robe and made out a fuzzy shape holding a smaller fuzzy shape. My vision slowly cleared as Obi Wan White Robey wandered over to a short fat dude sitting on an orc carcass. \"Oh, hey, Roy.\"\n\nRoy, the new hire, hefted the body of the fourteen-year-old boy in viking armor over one shoulder. \"Thought you were off today.\" He wiped his brow with a tattered sleeve. They didn't have him wearing armor, I noted bitterly. Lucky bastard.\n\n\"I *was,*\" I agreed. \"I thought Command gave at least one comp after every John Wick cleanup detail, but here we are.\" Bending down, I gathered my former orc cover into my arms and lifted; his helmet slid off, revealing a twisted, grimy face with a slash that had flensed most of the skin from his forehead. My stomach fluttered again and I took a quick glance around before stepping over to Roy. \"Pop me, kid, will ya?\"\n\nHe caught on. Props to him. A glowing green pill materialized from a pouch at his belt and he put it on my tongue. I swallowed and the nausea dissipated. We carried our loads across the battleground, skirting bodies, broken spears, trailing through knee high mud puddles.\n\n\"Shit,\" I heard Roy mutter as I at last heaved the orc into a pile to be burned. He paused, eyes hardening at the sight of a weeping old woman bent over the barely-teen he'd brought. \"You get used to this, right?\"\n\nI chuckled and began the slow trudge back. \"Yep. For the most part. Couple of Call of Duty levels here, a minor one-shot to an ICU in a Sparks novel there, and you'll get the full range. However,\" I leaped to one side as old fart in white robe lead the dwarf, an elf, what must have been the king, and a couple of his ratty attendants past on horseback, \"It could always get worse.\"\n\n\"What could be worse than this?\" Roy reached down and gathered up a severed arm to bring over to the corpse I lifted up.\n\n\"Three words, grasshopper, that you will learn to loathe and fear more than any other in any universe in any dimension created by any author ever,\" I grunted, fumbling with my free hand for the arm.\n\n\"And they are?\"\n\nI turned to trek slowly back to the pile as I replied. \"'Winter is coming.'\""
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[WP] All of your exes are in a bar together. Little do they know you're the bartender.
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"\"What a busy day!\" I exclaimed to my manager Sam.\n\n\"You know I like you, but shut up or you lose your job.\" He replied in a calm, yet angry voice.\n\n\"Sorry man, just thought a joke would get your mood up a bit.\" I hastily responded, scared of being on his bad side.\n\n\"Not in the mood, there is nothing sadder than an empty bar.\" Sam said and left the room.\n\n\"True that.\" I whispered to myself."
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[WP] After Years Of Testing, Scientists Have Finally Made It: A Hamburger That Looks Like The One On The McDonalds Board
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"Walking in to the conference room 10 minutes late, Dan took his seat quietly to avoid disrupting the conversation. \n\n\"Honestly Mike if we thought that this would be the case we would have never done it in the first place.\"\n\n\"Yeah, I mean, obviously the idea was that sales would *increase*, if only temporarily, but enough to boost revenue this quarter so we wouldn't have to introduce some new menu item or run a promotion.\"\n\nMike sighed rubbing his temples. \"Yes, yes I remember. This is insane though, you all know that, right? I mean, shit, in *America* of all places. Jesus Christ.\" He Turned to Dan and then looked up at the rest of the room. \"Anyone want to fill Dan in on the news we got this morning?\"\n\nAfter a momentary silence Ryan began, \"Sales for the new burgers, the ones that look like how they're pictured in the photographs, have tanked sales in all other menu items.\" \n\n\"Why is this a bad thing?\" asked Dan. \"Doesn't this just mean that the burgers have outpaced everything else?\"\n\n\"Sort of,\" Andy followed up. \"But you know how when you eat slower you tend to eat way less?\" \n\nDan nodded.\n\nAndy continued, \"So people like just looking at their burgers so much that they don't eat them nearly as fast as they used to, you know, when they all looked like pressed shit. After a couple of visits they started realizing that they didn't need to order the extra McDouble, or Hot 'n Spicy McChicken, or extra fries, or whatever else because they were too full from their picturesque burgers.\"\n\n\"Yeah,\" Ryan said, \"People apparently used to order sort of subconsciously knowing that they didn't want to look at the food while they ate it because it made them feel guilty, which made them eat it really fast. They would buy more thinking that's how much they were hungry for when in reality it just took longer for their body to tell them they were full.\"\n\n\"Oh my God,\" Dan said, \"So you're telling me that, because the food actually looks like how it's advertised now that people eat it more slowly and therefore eat far less than they would have if the food looked like garbage...\"\n\nRyan and Andy nodded.\n\nDan continued, \"And we now know the reason they ate so much before was because they felt too guilty to actually look at the food while they ate it because it was so obviously terrible?\" \n\nMore nods, this time from everyone at the table. \n\n\"In America, no less,\" added Mike. \n\n"
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[WP] A humorous tale of a minor problem that ends humanity
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"Mr. Graves tried to duck as a ball came sailing by his head. He was quick, his job often required him to be, but sometimes fate was quicker. He threw up his hands but it wasn’t in time and the small foam ball hit him in the right cheek bone. His coffee flew from his hand and landed on the breakfast table. \n\n“Martha!” he yelled. She came running in, drying her hands on a dishtowel. Martha was weary to the bones and looked it. Whatever anger he felt melted when he saw her. She had stood by him after all these years and he knew that he would always stay by her. \n\n“Honey,” he said, his tone softer. “The children are playing baseball in the house again. I’ve spilled my coffee over my work.” \n\nShe called the boys over, the older one knowing that they were in trouble while the younger one remained innocent in his obliviousness. She scolded the boys and reminded them to take their rough housing outside. She quickly began to help Mr. Graves clean up the mess. \n\n“Don’t be too hard on the boys dear,” she told him. “They’ve got the energy of youth and it won’t stay that way forever, even for us.” \n\nHe knew she was right. He placed a hand on her shoulder blade to let her know that his anger had truly passed. He gathered his work and stopped. \n\n“Dear,” Mr. Graves said. “Where is the harvest report? I’m going to need it today.” Martha looked at the coffee stained reports and asked him if any of these were it. Mr. Graves told her it was not. \n\n“Were you having breakfast with Cart this morning?” Martha asked. “You know she likes to draw her visions. I bet she took it.” Cart was Mr. Graves youngest child, full of joy and wonder. The last of his three children and no more than a toddler. Drawing seemed to help Cart manage what she often saw in her head. Mr. Graves and Martha went to Cart's room. They found the young girl sitting on her bed, drawing furiously on a piece of parchment, the flat surface of her knees acting as a table. Martha walked over and gently took away the paper and handed it to Mr. Graves. \n\nMr. Graves looked at the paper and his daughter had indeed drawn on it, in crayon the color of soot. The image was a joyful one, though, with a black sun above a black prairie. Mr. Graves thought it seemed calm and peaceful and the love for his daughter grew. \"It was just work after all,\" thought Mr. Graves. With his report in his hand, he headed to the door. He put on his coat to keep the chill off his bones and began to head out. He looked down at his harvest report and tried to make out the letters that THE BOSS had sent him. It was tough and he was running late. It would never do to run late. There was a lot of writing on the page, obscured by Cart's drawing. But at the bottom, two words caught his eye. \n\nThe two words were not what he was expecting. He stopped and looked at the harvest report closely. The black crayon had run together the letters, made bridges and slashes and Mr. Graves wasn’t quite sure he saw what he thought he saw. After a moment of study, he sighed, the air whistling through his teeth. \"So today is the day,\" he thought. \n\nBefore Mr. Graves took another step all three children ran at him and hugged him around his bony thighs. He should really start eating more. But after today, he would have all the time in the world to do eat. \n\n“Have a great day Mr. Graves!” they shouted in unison. “Knock ‘em dead.” They all laughed at the inside joke. \n\n“You don’t have to call me Mr. Graves, it’s a ghastly nickname you know,” he told his children. They just laughed. Mr. Graves looked down at the list and read the two words again: EVERY ONE. After today, they would do a lot of laughing together. \n\n“Just call me Dad, ok?” he said.\n\n“Dear, let them have their fun. Not everyone’s father is the Grim Reaper. You’re famous,” Martha said and beamed. She hugged him around his protruding clavicles and gave him what passed as a kiss against the blaring whiteness of his forehead. \n\nAnd so Death left his home to perform his final harvest. Everyone. Everyone was now on the harvesting report. \n\nMrs. Everly O’nest was enjoying her last meal on earth. And through no fault of her own, so was everyone else. ",
"\"How was I to know?\" I often ask myself, poring over the details again and again from the safety of these thick steel walls, alone. \"How was I to know that such a minor blip would spiral so far out of control... and bring about the fall of man.\" As the years passed and I aged, I spent most of my waking hours writing down my thoughts, I told myself it was for posterity, but in truth, I desired nothing else than absolution for being the so-called \"harbinger of death.\" Let me tell you right now, I am no harbinger of death, I'm not even an agent of death, my name is Colin and I am an engineer, but yes, it was me who built the death machine.\n\nIt started about 30 years ago, I was sitting in the canteen of Bradley and Brooks Engineering Ltd (established 1954) enjoying my morning brew when David came rushing in... David was not the rushing type, if anything he was the personification of lethargy, but something had stirred him, excited him. He ran towards me, thrusting a piece of paper in my face \"THIS IS IT COLIN, THE BIG ONE! HAPPERBLATT AND SONS! WE'VE GOT IT!\" I spat my tea out in shock, narrowly missing the printed purchase order... \"Jesus christ David, this is it!\" I couldn't believe it, Happerblatt and Sons were the single largest producer of stationary in the World, producing uncountable amounts of drawing pins, notepads, pens... and the decision had finally been made to expand into paperclips... the one market they did not yet control, and the single most difficult market to break into, owing to the dominance of the Masterclip Paperclip Consortium, led by the enigmatic John Masterclip. For years, they held the monopoly on the vast paperclip economy, churning out billions upon billions of the intricate metal wonders every year, nobody could even dream of competing and any who dared either met with a crushing demise from the dominant Masterclip empire.\n\nHowever, I knew we had a shot, Happerblatt could compete with Masterclip and had specified that they would spare no expense in order to break into, and eventually dominate the paperclip market by any means necessary, and our proposal was bold. It was our intention to create an AI, an artificial intelligence with a single, overriding purpose, to create paperclips at the cheapest possible price in the quickest possible way. This AI would be given complete autonomy in its quest, we would design and build the \"brain\" and give it access to the vast infrastructure offered by Happerblatt so that it could be fully operational in the shortest amount of time and have access to infinite resources. We were so blinded by our ambitions, by our greed that we failed to even consider the possible ramifications of our actions, until it was far too late.\n\nThe design and build took us many months, but 3 years later, Happerblatt and Sons finally took delivery of the Autonomous Design and Manufacturing Entity, or ADAM-E for short. The grand \"switch-on\" was scheduled for a week's time... which, in hindsight was far too soon, ADAM-E had not been field tested and we didn't know how it would react to a voice other than my own or David's or any unlisted commands that could be potentially be issued by its new masters. But we were blinded by the vast riches that we'd been afforded and spent the next 5 days drinking ourselves into a stupor, surrounded by fairweather friends and escorts, living the dream. When the day finally came, Friday, March 6th, 2037, David and I were nursing the heaviest hangovers known to man but were completely confident that our work would pay off so saw no need to be sober, in fact, David spent most of the day hugging the toilet bowl, but I was steadfast in my determination to see the looks on the Happerblatts' faces when they first heard ADAM-E speak. I'd given it a dark, mechanised, booming voice so as to properly convey the magnitude of its brilliance... and, of course, a little showmanship never hurts. So you can imagine my glee when Peter Habberblatt himself stepped forward to be the first to great the great machine and commanded me to \"switch it on!\"\n\nADAM-E came to life, its glowing blue central LED doused the room in light, and then it spoke... \"Autonomous Design and Manufacturing Entity ADAM-E preparing to operate, please state identity.\" Mr Habberblatt stepped forward, holding himself up as if to convey to the machine who its rightful master was \"Peter Joseph Happerblatt, owner and chairman of Habberblatt & Sons... and your owner.\" The great machine fell silent for a few seconds \"Identity confirmed, please state primary function.\" \"To design, source and manufacture paper clips at the lowest possible price with maximised output in order to dominate the marketplace.\" Again, the machine fell silent, \"please state objective parameters and limitations\" now, this was the crucial part, I had asked David to provide the Happerblatts with a detailed list of parameters, limitations and stipulations that should be issued to ADAM-E in order to maximise its productivity, and to prevent any minor hiccups... however, though David had fulfilled his task amicably and professionally, Mr Happerblatt chose to ignore all sound logic and reason and issue the following edict \"NONE.\" There was no immediate danger of course, but almost instantly ADAM-E began it's planning phase and stopped responding to commands and inputs. \"What is it doing?\" Asked Happerblatt, quite rightly, \"It's planning\" came my response. \"Planning what?\" \"How to complete its task, Mr Happerblatt, it will respond again momentarily.\" I was so proud, I couldn't wait to see what the machine would do, how it would complete its task that I completely ignored the gravity of Happerblatt's ignorance of our advice. \n\n",
"Its Sunday dammit, and Alex isn't going to think about work for once. He'd shoot up to the ball game, maybe get some hot dogs and some beer, and just live his life for the day. Turns out running the free world wasn't such a walk in the park. Today he is just going to let all that go, and enjoy. \n\nHe doesn't get box seats. He knew he could, perks of the job and all, but all he really wants is the authentic experience. He sits in the blazing sun like the rest of America, and people either didn't recognize him with his hat and glasses, or they're being polite. The game starts. At least, he thinks it does. With Baseball its a little hard to tell sometimes. The men are all on the field, and by golly, its getting his blood roaring, just being in the middle of the great American past time (maybe). \n\nHe's promised himself that he won't look at his phone, won't even think about looking at his phone and maybe checking his emails to see if that proposition had gone through, or if maybe that fund raiser needed more planning, or if maybe- Stop! He has to remind himself that he has banned himself even on the contemplative level, and tries to focus on the game that may be going on. \n\nIf he was looking at his phone, he would have noticed when it started calling his right-hand-man-and-probably-someone-he-was-too-close-with-and-relied-upon-just-a-little-too-much Jim Boden. If he had just taken out the phone, instead of letting his cheeks get the best of him, maybe humanity would have lasted just a little while longer. Because there is no other way Jim could have taken that call. Alex had been in the middle of a rather passionate heckling session of the non-home team. \n\n\"Fuck off with that! I swear if I was in charge I would bomb you! I would send the nukes right off! Right into your stupid red face! By God if I just had my right hand man Jim here, he would make this right! He would bomb you so hard you couldn't walk straight for weeks!\"\n\nJim, always astute, saw through the charade. Clearly the President has been kidnapped. Obviously, the clever devil, he has managed to call Jim on the sly, and lay out in no uncertain terms what he wanted Jim to do, all disguised in the form of raging threats to his captors. By God he loved that man. \n\n\"Yes.\" Jim said to himself. Reaching for the big red button with the word LAUNCH across it. \"I will do it, and tell tales of your courage, you beautiful, courageous man.\"\n\nIf Alex had not banned himself from looking at his phone, had not been so caught up in his oddly specific heckling, he would have seen the GoodBye text, a simple heart emoji from Jim. Followed by the words \"No Homo\" of course. \n\n___________________________________\nIf you liked that you might like this /r/Periapoapsis",
"So I was telling you, you know, about those hairless monkey things that lived on the blue one that was there like, ten eons ago; they all went away because one of 'em wanted to see over the other one.\n\nYou wouldn't know them. They were what they called quadrillionaires, I believe that's what they called their leaders or, in older times, they would be called kings. There were two of them. I can't really transcribe human language too well, but one was called Misk, and the other Goats. Rough translation, I'd say, but it gets the job done. Their squiggles just don't work in our chemical signaling.\n\nHow it started was funny. Misk built a tower and lived on top of it. I think so he could see all the other hairless monkeys do their work. Leadership positions, and they tended to favor the taller ones, so maybe they increased height artificially. Don't ask me, point is, he built a big rock brick thing with little glass holes in it and it was just a glass hole taller than Goats'.\n\nGoats, I'm pretty sure, couldn't see as many bald primates, so naturally, he added another set of them plus some more rock. This is just a theory, shut up, okay?\n\nMisk, not to be outdone, did the same. As soon as one made their rock pillar taller, the other repeated. There came a point where, I'm gonna guess, they were in what was the atmosphere of the thing. But it started to, get this -- by our observations the blue planet just started wobbling. After a few turns, it spun entirely out of control, and then it spun around the orange one. Real fast, faster and faster. You ever see liquid silicone go down a vortube? Yeah, -exactly- like that. Except in the third dimension instead of the fourth. \n\nThey tired everything. Firecones, grabbing onto other rocks, putting their hands together and talking to themselves. All that stuff. Super weird. Didn't do nothing, really, and they could have just transfixed their dimensional holding point like two centers over without much of a fuss if they were as smart as they thought. Huh? What happened to the blue thing? Yeah, it like, sank. Got real hot and then there was nothing left. Kind of a shame though.\n\nYeah exactly, it was hilarious! Wish you saw it. Those monkey things were fuckin' funny, dude. "
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[WP] As a child, you were told that the universe would end if, or when, you die. You're on your deathbed.
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"All my life I tried simply to be a good person. That's all it took for me; despite any hardships I made it an effort to smile and toil onward. I think I'd done everything right up to this point. I was always well behaved, I got good grades in school, graduated college, got a good job. I had a few girlfriends. And if we didn't work out, I made sure we never ended on bad terms. I was an avid volunteer for the multitude of local charity programs. Even when I was weighed down by my own stress I did my best to provide for those in need.\n\nI maintained good relationships with everyone close to me. If I fought with someone, we talked it out and resolved our problem. If I upset someone, I apologized and made it up to them. I always said \"I love you,\" before I went to sleep, even if we were angry at each other. I never let jealousy divide us. I lived the way that made me happy and the way I thought would make my parents happy. When I was younger, they told me I was their everything. I wanted nothing more than to live up to that.\n\nI wish I had more time. I wish I had done more, even though everyone says I've done more than enough. And there's so much I still want to tell everyone- still so much I want to share and experience with them. \n\nBut instead I'm stuck in the discomfort of a hospital bed, surrounded by strangers who've become normalized to people in my condition. I miss my friends. I miss my mom and dad. Why won't they come to see me?",
"“You are free to go in and see him now,” I hear the nurse say.\n\nHe walks in, followed by his wife and my beautiful grandchildren that he has \nblessed me with. I can’t see anything, I can only hear the sniffles and sharp \nbreathing from each and every one of them as they come say goodbye. The \ncancer may have taken my eyesight, but it sure hasn’t taken away my love for \nthe people who have stood by me throughout years of treatment, chemotherapy, \nand overall hell.\n\n“How ya’ doin’ Dad?” he asks, his voice sounding like it’s about to break apart at \nany moment.\n\n“Oh you know, just hanging out.”\n\nI hear a subtle chuckle throughout the room, followed by a long silence. \n\n“The kids want to say something.”\n\nI hear two pairs of feet shuffle toward me on my left side, and one of them places \nsomething on my chest. I reach for it and appears to be a piece of paper.\n\n“I’m sorry Poppa, I forgot you couldn’t see. I drew this for you in class. It’s a \npicture of when you took us to the zoo that one day. Remember? I love you \nPoppa.”\n\nOh my God.\n\n I knew that dying would be painful, but nothing could prepare me for the \nheartbreak that these beautiful creatures would give me.\n\n“I love you too Poppa.”\n\nI feel one of them give me a hug, and the other soon joins. Their mother begins \nto sob uncontrollably, only barely able to stifle her cries.\n\nAnother long silence. \n\n“Alright guys, let’s say goodbye.”\n\nPlease God…not like this…\n\n“Goodbye Poppa.”\n\n“Goodbye Poppa.”\n\n“Goodbye Roy.”\n\nI feel each one of them give me a kiss. After a few more hugs and kisses, and \nafter a tearful goodbye myself, I hear them leave the room.\n\nSo this is it. Death. I feel lonely. I feel afraid. I feel warm, which is weird since I \nthought that people who were about to die usually felt cold. But I don’t. I feel \nvery warm.\n\nI lie in bed for a long time. The nurse comes in to check on my monitor, but I \nknow it’s completely useless. As soon as I pass out for the final time, I’ve signed \ndocuments upon documents saying that the monitor won’t revive me. This is the \nway I want it to be. No more constant pain. No more staying alive for the sake of \nstaying alive. Just peace. \n\nTime goes by, and in my blindness, I have no idea how much time has passed by. \nIt feels like hours, but it could be minutes. It feels like minutes, but it could be \nhours. I still feel warm.\n\nFinally, I can feel it coming. I feel sleepier, something urging me to close my eyes \nand let go, but for some reason I don’t want to. Not yet. My eyes are getting \nheavier. I’m cold now. The warmth left me hours ago, or was it minutes. There is \nno bright light at the end of the tunnel. I just feel like I’m drifting away in a fog. \nI feel it now. My time has come. This is where it ends…\n\n\n\n-----------------\n\n“And he’s out!”\n\nThe crowd explodes. The audience has never see something like this before. \nEverybody is on their feet, shouting, screaming. \n\nWhat the fuck is going on? Where am I?\n\nI look around. I’m strapped to an arcade machine with a helmet on my head. I \nread the title of the machine:\n\nRoy: A Life Well Lived\n\nI look around. I’m on a stage in front of thousands of people. On the stage next \nto me is a man well dressed with a microphone headset that he uses to address \nthe audience. He comes over to me, leans in, and says, “Take a few seconds, it’s \ngonna take some time to get used to.”\n\nHe then addresses the audience.\n\n“And now, we’re opening up for a quick Q & A.”\n\nThe audience members nearly trample each other to get to one of the many \nmicrophones. The questions start coming in.\n\n“Hi Chris. Wanted to say I’ve been following this project for the past couple years \nand I think what you guys have created is an absolute game changer. Like, \nseriously. This is a huge game changer for the Gaming Industry. My question is, \nwhen will this be available to the general public?”\n\n“Roy will be available in select Blips & Chitz Arcades starting next February.”\n\nThe audience gives a standing ovation, quiets down, and lets the next person ask \nhis question.\n\n“Hi Chris. Amazing presentation. I just wanted to ask a question about the back-\nend dev of the machine. How does the code work? Like, wouldn’t the compiler fail \nto restart after using up all that memory after each run?”\n\n“That was actually a bit of a tricky situation for us. Yeah, I mean, that’s a lot of \nmemory for a single runtime. I mean, it translates to about 500 billion terabytes \nof RAM for every in-game ‘year’. So the thing is, by the time a person gets to the \nend of the game, you’re look at about 40 billion trillion bytes of storage. The only \nway to reset is to completely erase all the code and all the memory, effectively \ndestroying the entire universe of the game, and having to rewrite every line of \ncode from scratch. Luckily, our friends at Windforce have a program that is able \nto do that, but still, it does take about 4 to 5 minutes to completely re-write all \nthe code. The plus side is that this means there’s a completely different \nrandomly-generated universe for every play-through. You could play this game a \nbillion times and it would never be the same again.”\n\nMore applause.\n\n“Hi, great job on the game by the way, but this question is actually for Mr. Garcia \nover there.”\n\nEvery single pair of eyes turns to look at me. I guess that makes me Mr. Garcia.\n\n“Hi. Just a short question. You kinda have an advantage over everybody else here \nin the audience, I mean, you got to live an entire lifetime. You got to see what \nlife is like until the very end. That’s something that we won’t get to experience \nuntil next February. So, my question is, is there any knowledge or wisdom that \nyou want to share with us about the meaning of life?”\n\nThe audience stares at me. The entire room is completely silence.\n\nI stand up. A microphone is handed to me. I raise it to my lips.\n\nI know exactly what I want to say.\n\n“Jet Fuel Can’t Melt Dank Memes.”\n\nThe audience explodes. Literally. Some people collapse to the floor, crying with \ngratitude at this heavenly knowledge I have just imparted on them. Some people \ncan’t handle the dankness, and they explode on the spot.\n\nI begin ascending into the sky. I am ready to reach my final form.\n\nI am God.\n\n\n"
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BEEP BOOP
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[WP]You were paid to do some tests for the local university, you answered everything to your best knowledge until a scientist contains you saying you just failed the turing test.
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"It was unusual to see the lab-coat sitting in an old leather chair. The chair looked awfully out of place, and grumbled as he shifted in it occasionally. Considering that the rest of the room was almost uncomfortably sterile and cold, I couldn’t help but compare the scene to that of a toad siting in a fridge.\n\nI stood at the entrance for a while, politely waiting for him to address me, even cleared my throat once or twice, but instead he pulled out a tired-looking pad, swiped a few times, set it on the table, and sat there as if none the wiser of my presence.\n\nThis irked me- considering how rude he was being, I was tempted to simply leave- I hated arrogant snobs -rightly so! - especially the academic types that assumed their inflated status meant a greater intelligence, but quickly rationalised that these lab coats were stuck talking to broke students all day. \n\nThus I concluded that, of all the situations where you are forced to talk to a prick, the one where you are paid to do so is probably a blessing, and so walked over to the empty chair opposite, and sat down.\n\nI already knew what kind of test this was: it was part of a big new push to fully categorise and understand the human psychology, so this would be a harmless test; like a psychological profile.\n\nThat said, it was common knowledge to be mildly suspicious of these things, their small print was notoriously vague; their ethics doubly so, especially considering the price they were willing to pay- but hey! I was a broke student, life was handing me a lemon, and I wasn’t about to go around burning this opportunity down.\n\nThey even said that I could withdraw from the test at any point if I felt out of my depth, so all in all I was pretty confident about the whole thing.\n\nI was still damn irritated, though.\n\nWithout any prior warning, the scientist launched into the first question: “Do you consider yourself to be an organised person”\n\nReflexively I answered: ”No”\n\nI was startled and minorly annoyed. Again, no greeting, no introduction, not even a glance upwards, just straight into the\n\n“Do you find yourself easily angered”\n\nThe natural answer would have clearly been “yes”, but since I was getting particularly aggravated;\n\n“Only towards arrogant bast-“\n\nThis time he looked up. His face was an etched plate of stoic disapproval.\n\nMy flaws felt threefold.\n\n“yes”\n\nI was being immature and that was stupid.\n\nBut I could still be annoyed.\n\nHe continued with the process like a machine, and I was getting the very bad feeling that this was going to be a long and terribly boring procedure. \n\nWondering how much luckier I could have been if I had a much friendlier woman to interview me instead, I ground through the questions, with only the mental sound of a cash register filling after each question keeping me going.\n\nTwenty minutes later and I didn’t feel any better about my hunch being correct.\n\nThis was a long and terribly boring procedure.\n\nThe questions had required more time to process but they were still simple question and answer:\n\n“You colleague hands you a pad of unfinished work and claims its done, but appears ill. What do you do”\n\n“Tell him to go and rest”\n\n“You find yourself trapped in a plane crash but there is only one oxygen mask between the mother and child next to you, what do you do”\n\n“Save the child”\n\nPainfully boring.\n\nAt this point the irritation I had felt towards the lab-coat had given way to sympathy. This was an odious task.\n\n“You are taking a test when the researcher informs you that you have failed the Turing Test. How do you react?”\n\n“I laugh it off.”\n\nThere was a noise somewhere in the corner of the room.\n\nI looked up to see the lab-coat staring intently at me. Inwardly I hoped that meant he had finished his list and we were done.\n\nHe smiled and leaned out his hand for a hand shake.\n\n“Thank you for participating in our test. Everything checks out; You are free to go.”\n\nI wondered why he was being so polite suddenly, and even though I still felt sour about his prior callousness, I smiled back and shook his hand.\n\nThe journey back home was spent relishing in the potential ways I could spend my earnings. I was only too happy to be out of that stuffy room. The test had taken far too long, and the questions were stupidly simple, so there was nothing to wonder about there.\n\nI only wondered why I didn’t recognise his serial number.\n\n"
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[WP] "We weren't supposed to win..."
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[
"Ariadne looked at the devastation which had previously been Rome, her once golden sword now coated in blood and dark matter. As an archangel, she had seen her fair share of carnage, but this- this was different. She had known that a war was going to be inevitable. Yet she never expected to push an army led by her dad, Tartarus, and Set, back to hell. Much less with a vampire and six teenagers who barely had any control over their ability.\n\n“We weren’t supposed to win…” Ariadne muttered to herself. There had been too many casualties, too many lives lost, too many cities destroyed. It had been a reenactment of Sodom and Gomorrah, except her father and his soldiers did the real damage. She saw her friends sitting in a small cafe, somehow still intact between the terror and flames which had come to fruition earlier.\n\nShe limped in their direction, but the ground swayed under her feet and she fell to one knee. She tried calling out, to Spencer, to Victoire, to Garrett, to anyone, but she only managed to choke up a sob. Spencer, being the Vampire he is, quickly picked up on it and was by her side. \n\n“Ari, We’re alright, we just had a few minor injuries, we’re okay.” He said. Spencer helped her get into the Cafe, the group was sitting around a small table. Everyone looked beat up, but no one died. Ari could thank her grandfather for that. \n\n“So, we really stopped them huh?” one of the boys said. His name was Liam, Liam Adler. He could manipulate fire at will. Ariadne knew so much about him, she knew so much about everyone who was sitting around the table. Over the course of the last few months, they had become her family, and she would be lost without them.\n“That we did Adler,” Garrett said. His jeans were ripped, his leather jacket was dusty, and his aviators were cracked. He was sending sparks of black lightning from one hand to the other, sparks dancing between his fingers. Garrett was from San Francisco and an orphan. At first, he and Alice had worked with Ariadne’s father, but they eventually saw the horrors of what they were doing and joined forces with the rest of the group.\n\n“What now Ari?” Anna, Liam’s girlfriend asked.\n\n“We can’t stay here, there are too many risks. We can talk back at the cabin.” Ariadne replied. They had to leave the city before paramedics arrived. If people found out that they had saved the city, and were some of the only survivors-. Ariadne shook the thought out of her mind, this wasn’t a time for negativity.\n\n“Alice, can you get us back there?” the Glasgow smile nods, her one blue eye and other yellow eye blinking in Ariadne’s direction.\n\n“Come close, everyone.” She said. The group placed their arms around each other’s shoulders, and in a matter of seconds, Alice had teleported them back to Ariadne’s Cabin in the woods near the Matterhorn. Upon arrival, Alice stumbled around a little, yawned, and proceeded to take a nap on the couch.\n\n“Alright so here’s the deal.” Ari began, “We may have stopped them this time, but nothing is going to prevent them from coming back and with more artillery. My father - he’s a very persistent man.” She began pacing around the room.\n\n“Ari relax,” Victoire places a hand on her shoulder, “we’ll figure it out. We train more, and kick their asses harder.”\n\n“You don’t understand!” Ari exclaims, tears forming in her eyes. “My father is incredibly stubborn! He won’t give up until all you are - “ She couldn’t bring herself to finish the sentence, she sat on one of the chairs and wept.\n\n“You guys are my family, I don’t wanna lose you…” she murmured in between tears. She made her sword vanish into its dimension to be sure she wouldn’t hurt anyone by accident. Her friends are around her and they attempt consoling her, Spencer just tells them all to go to bed, which they obey, reluctantly.\n\n“I’m going to go get some rest too okay Ari? I’ll see you tomorrow.” He gives her a hug before going to his quarters. Ariadne stood up and walked to her room too. Looking in her mirror, she was a mess. Her jeans were more tattered than they were supposed to be, her open back halter sweater had a few holes in it, and she couldn’t put much pressure on her right leg. She spread her single, slightly golden beige wing, and turned to look at the ragged scar on the other side of her back\n“You’ll pay for this dad,” She said to herself, “Whatever it takes.\"",
"Jonathon stared at the scorched wasteland around him, his eyes glazing over the piles of bodies as he desperately tried to avoid looking at any of them. Wallace meanwhile was sitting on the floor with his head in his hands, quite sobbing could be heard. \"How?\" John asked, staring towards the sky for an answer. They just wanted to test their power, they never supposed it would have this kind of outcome. "
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[WP] God and the Devil have woken up to find out they switched bodies.
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"I'm not a very fast writer, and not a very experienced either, so I'm a bit nervous posting this. Would love to receive any feedback, if anyone reads this. :)\n\n\n------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------\nSomething was very, *very* wrong: he did not have a hangover. That hadn't happened in years, hell, centuries! Even though such things can be fixed, the initial feeling of having been thrown through several dimensions with a brick pounding on your head was always with him in the first moments of consciousness. Ok, so no hangover, no biggie. What was more disturbing was the fact that his mind felt like it was divided between ten different places at the same time.\n\nSlowly he opened his eyes. He looked at a high ceiling, filled with beautiful symbols, abstract flashes of golden, blue and turquoise colours, and intricately painted pictures depicting the creation of the universe. “Oh bugger.” He closed his eyes again. Heaven? Really? Must have been one hell of a night. \n\nAfter a while of trying in vain to go through his memories, he decided he’d better face the the consequences of whatever mess he had managed to create. He got out of the huge, wooden air bed and before he got a chance to do anything else, someone knocked on the doors at the far end of the room. “Uhm, yes?” he said with a gruff, booming voice. He stopped walking mid stride, his eyes widening, and felt his heart skip a beat. This definitely wasn't the sound that usually came out of his mouth, but he did recognise it. Oh boy, did he. It started to dawn on him what was going on. “Oh bloody hell.” He grabbed his forehead with his hands. What a mess. “Uhm, Lord?” \nThe angel who'd just come in stood uncertainty before him. “Are you alright Lord?” “Ah yes, thank you.” He quickly composed himself. “What is it you want?” “Well, I'm here to discuss today’s schedule, of course. Are you sure you're alright?” The angel looked concerned. “Oh yes, I was just daydreaming a bit. Nothing to worry about. Look, can we clear today's schedule? I'm not really in the mood, you see.” “B-but, my Lord, today’s an important day! You have a meeting with Michael from the Immigration Office, about the possibility of asylum for our discovered spies. With all respect, but I don't think you should skip that.” *Hmm, Michael, interesting.* It has been a long time since he had personally seen his friend. He smiled. “Yes, of course, you're right. Notice me when he arrives, will you? Please don't interrupt me during our meeting and see of you can clear some of my schedule later on, there’s a good lad.” “Uhm, yes my Lord. Of course my Lord.” He bowed, opened the door, took one last worried look, and walked away. Satan let out a deep sigh, and looked around him. It looked almost the same as he remembers it. So much for godly imagination. On the south there was a window covering the wall, with a view on God’s personal garden. \n\nHe looked outside the window. Well, at least that was different. The garden was fully symmetrical, filled with trees, flower buds, rose bushes, plants and a fountain in the middle of it all, depicted as a gigantic angel with water pouring from the tips of his two wings. The place was filled with every colour imaginable, and over unseen speakers came the sound of melancholy which was supposed to sound like music. Apparently, they had filled his former position of Angel of Music with a bipolar musician who's sole purpose in life it was to make every soul in this realm as miserable as possible. One thing was clear: Heaven hadn't particularly improved since he left. He now realised he was not actually present at more than one place, it was more like he could equally divide his focus on several tasks or people, instead of just one. This could come in handy. There was another knock on the door. “Michael is here to see you, Lord. The conference room is ready when you are.”\n\nHe nodded as his old friend bowed. “Michael, I would like you to shed some light on the current situation of the spy network.” “Yes, my Lord. None of our allies on the other side have been discovered yet, but given the whole situation with Zalandran a few months ago, I suggest - “ “That’s not what I meant.” Michael was taken aback for a moment. “Ok.. What is it you want to hear from me, Lord?” “I would like to hear from you, since when you decided to become an ally of hell. A *traitor*!” He managed to get the fury in his voice quite well. Michael’s face was priceless. And apparently he had also lost his tongue. “Well?” he asked after a while. “Don't you have anything to say for yourself? I could have you stoned to death, you know, old fashioned style.” Michael’s face grew very white. “You wouldn't,” he said in an almost inaudible voice. Satan let him sweat for a few more moments, and then burst out laughing. “It’s me! I woke up like this, we must've switched bodies or something. Couldn't quite believe it myself at first.” Silence. “Oh, come on, I'm not gonna execute you, I'm your friend!” “Luci…?” He never stopped calling him by his old nickname. Satan didn't mind. “Yes! Isn't it fantastic?”\n“You had me there for a moment,” Michael said with a slight quiver in his voice. Satan chuckled. “I know, you should have seen your face. All pale and goggle-eyed.” Michael shrugged. “So, uhm… what are we going to do, exactly?”\n“We?” He looked at him with just a hint of a devilish smile on his otherwise godly face. “We are going to have some fun.”\n\n\n\n\n\n"
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[WP] Your cat normally brings you dead mice or birds. This time, he's brought you a live fairy.
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"Whiskers looked at me with a playful joy in his eyes. But the pupils the size of dinner plates didn't distract me from what was in front of him. It was like a small human with wings, curled up into the fetal position. I laid on my stomach as to get a better look. It was definitely alive, but I'd was obviously frightened.\n\nAnd that was when Whiskers leaped on the fairy and twisted it's head. That's my cat for you. Doesn't even give a thought.",
"William was sitting at his kitchen table enjoying a cup of piping hot coffee, with sugar and almond milk of course. As a cool breeze abruptly slipped under the crack of the window onto Will's face he thought, \"Just where could that cat be?\" It was around this time his cat, Poster, would come scratching back at the door after romping outside for a majority of the morning. He took another sip of coffee. Then another. And another. By the time he was finished he was almost worried. Where could Poster possibly be by now? William rose from his seat in a flash, frantically grabbed his coat and turned the front door handle. To his pleasant surprise, there Poster was, sitting down fur and all... but there was something in her mouth. \n\n\"Disgusting, the stupid thing brought me another mouse again.\" William thought. \n\nBut upon closer inspection, the mouse had dainty clear wings on its back, and pure blond hair on its head, and tiny hands and feet! In fact it wasn't a mouse at all, it was a fairy! \n\n\"What the fuck, you're a fairy!\" he yelled. \n\nBending down to help the little creature escape the fangs of its vicious captor, the fairy responded, \"Please, mister, save me.\" And just as William readied his hands to unhinge Poster's jaw, the cat ferociously clamped down, plunging its teeth into the body of the fairy, staining them a deep, unforgettable shade of red. The fairy's ear-splitting scream deeply pierced William's soul, and from that day on he was a different man. ",
"\"Mr. Teefies! Ugh, what the hell is that?\" Teefies dropped his precious gift and backed up, looking up at me in the special way that only he can.\n\n\"What the shit man, another...\" Uh oh, another *what*? This wasn't a bird. This wasn't a squirrel, or a mouse. \n\nFour translucent wings fluttered, seemingly out of sync, before finding a balance and rhythm. I stood transfixed as a small body, a small humanoid body, fluttered and rose before me. Teefies crouched, eyes wide.\n\n\"Are you the son of a bitch this foul beast reports to?\" The small being hovered eye level to me, decrying, \"That monster almost broke my legs and wings.\"\n\nI was transfixed on the itty-bitty thing bzzzz-ing in front of me. \"That's Mr. Teefies. He's my cat. He's a cat. He hunts and kills shit. You're not a bird.\" I was beside myself with wonder and amazement.\n\n\"Of course I'm not a bird, you dense bastard. I'm a fairy. I was *supposed* to show up at a birthday party, but your fucking cat changed my flight plans.\" To emphasize her point, the fairy put her tiny hands on her hips and glared at me.\n\nI recalled all of the old Disney movies with the fairy sparkling stars over the Magic Kingdom and almost pissed myself with nostalgia. *Is this her? Her in real life? What the hell was her name?*\n\n\"Listen jackass, I need to get to Madrigail Jorgensen's birthday party right fucking now.\" Her little index finger was jutting out at me and she wore a scowl that would fill fifteen normal size faces. \n\nI didn't like her attitude. Not one bit. She was spreading sprinkling brown shit-stains all over my otherwise great day.\n\n\"You're a terrible fairy! I regret having a crush on you as a kid. Mr. Teefies, attack!!\"\n\nTeefies isn't a command-attack cat, but when he's hungry, he'll attack anything with meat, wings, or fur. \n\nMr. Teefies made a leap worthy of the ages and deftly snatched the fairy.\n\nFour satisfying crunches later I knew Madrigail would have a shitty birthday. Just like my last thirty-seven birthdays have been.",
"The bitter, pungent stench of coffee hung over the air. Smoke coiled up towards the crumbling ceiling some ways above, never quite reaching its goal as it dissipated into the stuffy confines of the cupboard of a room I found myself hunched in. With a vitreous *clink*, I stirred the tongue-scalding contents of my mug labelled \"Best Father!\"\n\nI never was able to replace that thing. My chest tightened at the thought of doing so. Despite the sharp pain that sprung up and into my eyes, I focused my attention on the pile of papers heaped up on the worn desk I sat at.\n\nI scoffed as I slipped a piece of paper from the top of a towering pile of *more* crisp white sheets — at least, as white as they could be other than for the ink scrawled along each one's surface. The piece before me, in particular, read along the lines of, \"The only mop you'll ever have to buy!\" What a load of bullshit.\n\n*What does it matter?* Breathing out a sigh, I scribbled down a few notes. The scratching of my pen's nib on the fine surface of the paper filled the cramped silence, only the distant backdrop of the regular city noise — the far-away, shrill honk of a large vehicle, the raised voices of an argument somewhere next door, and the soft tune of music being played nearby — accompanying it.\n\nIt wasn't until a few minutes later that I realized that another scratching had joined my pen's — *Shit, Cas. Please don't tell me you've pissed at the door again,* please.\n\nScrambling to my feet in haste, I knocked a looming heap of papers off the water-stained surface of my desk. Numerous perfectly organized — well, not anymore — sheets fluttered to the dusty floors. I cursed. I would've cursed in five other languages if I'd bothered to study any else, but I hadn't, so I settled on what I knew.\n\nGrumbling all the while, I jerked the door open. Crouching at the door with her claw raised was my lazy ass of a cat, Cas. She let out a meow as she dropped her paw to the rug-covered floor, her eyes large and round as she gazed up at me. She let out another mewling sound as I glowered down at her. I breathed out a snort, before my eyes finally found the thing that was laid out before the black-and-white spotted cat — or rather, the creature.\n\n*What the fuck is that?* I thought, lowering myself down into a crouch.\n\nCas meowed, as if in response, and crept up on my leg, rubbing herself against me as if she were seeking a treat.\n\nI poked at the creature that strongly resembled a curled up moth. Its fuzz-covered wings were loosely wrapped around some thing or another. With another jab of my finger, the creature stirred and — *Fuck, that isn't a moth!*\n\nI flinched back as the creature unraveled its stubbly-haired wings, revealing a tiny, lithe, but quite certainly humanoid figure beneath. Its wings expanded with a scuff against the rug-covered floor. The creature swiveled its minuscule gaze to look up at me, but I barely gave it more than a glance before I was gone. With a barely concealed grunt, — alright, fine, let's call it a yelp — I got to my feet and scrambled away from the winged being as if a wraith of malevolence had materialized at my door and the only way I could save myself from certain death was to hide behind my desk. At that moment, I thought the idea certain, and found myself cowering behind my dingy, decades-old desk.\n\nI admit to having stayed there for quite the while. Finally, after a prolonged moment, I dared a peek around my desk and found the creature a bit aways from the door, struggling across the dull-red rug spread out over the floorings. Cas, ever the patient one, sulked after the little, winged creature, her steps precise and careful as her narrowed gaze fixed on the winged being.\n\n*Cas's going to kill that... thing,* I thought. *I should do something. But, fuck, what* is *it?*\n\nI got to my feet after a flicker of a beat, hesitation lingering like a hummingbird hovering at the edge of my vision. I couldn't let myself think on it further as I moved to snag Cas up into my arms; I would've backed down, otherwise. With a toss, I hurled her into my cupboard of an office and slammed the door on her snarl of outrage. *I'll deal with the hissy-fit later.*\n\nMy shoulders sagged as tension escaped my entire body like ice cream melts on a hot, summer day. When I turned, I found the winged creature staring up at me from her sprawl on the rug-covered floor. Her entire body was covered in the same fuzz as her wings were, and it would've been difficult to tell whether she was male or female if it wasn't for her face. For a moment that seemed to stretch into hours, I stared at the tiny creature panting for breath on my floor.\n\nI collapsed to one knee, letting out a strangled sob. My gut felt as if it were being jerked in all directions. I buried my face into my hands, tearing my gaze away from... *her*.\n\n\"Hello,\" the creature spoke in an all-too-familiar voice, having seemed to catch her breath. My throat tightened.\n\nWhen I finally lifted my gaze, peeling my face from my moistened palms, I found myself staring through a film of tears at the face of my long-dead child, standing on my rug with a butterfly-sized, moth-winged body.",
"His name was Mr Tinkles. The fairy, not the cat. I know. I wasn’t expecting it either. You’d think, from a healthy diet of fantasy, from Oberons, and Titanias, and Tinkerbells, that the fair-folk have grand, beautiful names.\n\nBut no. Mister Tinkles was standing on my living room floor, and my proud, feline companion Purrcy was standing next to him, occasionally batting him with one playful paw. I never said my cat didn’t have a similarly humiliating name, just that it wasn’t Mr Tinkles.\n\nMister Tinkles asked me to bring him some sugar. I asked him to leave my house. He asked me not to be such an idiot and think about who I was talking to. I wasn’t sure how to respond to that, given he was four inches tall and had a face more like a toddler, than one matching the adult male voice that came out of his mouth.\nHe had an accent, but it was a weird mixture between Cockney and Irish and, strangely, something that sounded like it’d been scraped up from Brooklyn. It was like every stereotypical loudmouth in every single clichéd story had stepped out and started swearing at me. And then pissed on my rug and flipped my cat off. Like I’d stepped into some low-budget, low-brow comedy. \n\nHe wasn’t a leprechaun. He was a fairy, thank-you-very-much. Them leprechauns were ‘nasty fellas’, as Mr Tinkles was very emphatic to let me know when I dared suggest that it was odd he wasn’t wearing a green suit and a little buckle on his hat. He’d punctuated it with a headbutt to my shin that felt like I’d very slightly walked into a table, hard enough to hurt but not hard enough to swear about.\n\nEventually, I relented and brought him sugar. Only after he threatened to show me what fairy excrement was like and how difficult it was to get off of even laminated floors. \n\nHe said this like he was proud of it. I’m still not entirely sure if he was.\n\nAs he sat on little stool I’d got him (one of those pizza things that look like tiny tables and always manage to hang around long after the pizza box has found its way to the dump) and gnawed at the sugar cube, he spoke conversationally. Gone was the swearing, and only partly gone were the nasty looks at Purrcy, who was now cleaning himself happily next to Mr Tinkles.\n\n“So… Do I get three wishes now, or…?”\n\nMy question interrupted Mr Tinkles tirade about ‘fookin’ elves and their feckin’ houses and whattaaboutthatgoddamnSantaguywashecrazyorwhat?\n\nI earned an incredulous look for my troubles, as he laid what remained of the sugar cube very deliberately onto the pizza saver, and planted his tiny hands flat onto his knees. I returned his stare, shrugging.\n\n“Well? It’s a valid question. Do I get three wishes? Or—“\n\n“That’s genies, you gaddamn stupid feckin’ eejit, what’re you, thick? Feckin’ moron is what y’are, ain’t right the world’s lef’ t’you stupid—“\n\nI held up my hands.\n\n“Alright. No wishes. Gold?” I received a look that reminded me about the leprechaun rule. “Luck?”\n\n“It’ll be yer good luck that I don’t feckin’ pound your gatdamn head in you nonce.”\n\n“Alright. Friendship?”\n\nI tried my best to look hopeful. He narrowed his eyes at me, climbing up to stand atop the pizza saver, feet planted either side of the sugar cube. My smile wavered, and it was only until he thrust his hand out with a big smile, and a proclamation that made me reconsider everything in my life that had led up to this moment, that I realised he actually liked that suggestion.\n\n“Yar, a’ight,” Mr Tinkles decided, giving me an enormous grin, “Pals ain’t too bad an idea. Since your moggie wrecked me hole I need a place to stay. Your house is pretty big, I’ll have this. Yeah? Yeah.”\n\nAnd anyway. Now I have a fairy as my roommate. Does anyone know any good pest controllers? Maybe some kind of supernatural mafia guy who’d get a hit done on him? I mean, he’s not the worst roommate I’ve had… \n\nBut he’s just not paying his rent, and the nymphs he keeps bringing home keep planting trees through the carpet.\n\n",
"'Lord Grey, it really is you' - the fairy voice was filled with joice, even when she is hanging from Lourantine's mouth. \n\nLourantine is a fine cat, if we ignore the fact she often bring me dead mice or birds, but still she get rid of the pests around so I keep her to make sure no mice gonna chew my precious books. Her habits from the old time when she was homeless is almost gone, the only big issues is she tends to get into fight with dogs and bringing me dead animals. But this time, she bring me a god damn fairy. And of all fairy the most annoying one of them all, Cebredine. Rufus was supposed to get rid of unwanted guesses, br it fairy or nymphs. But since Lourantine and Rufus have the typical cat-dog relationship so she snuck the fairy in when Rufus wasn't around thinking I would eat it after I throw away all the mice and birds.\n\n'No. And you are not welcomed here.' I pick her up from Lourantine's mouth, put her into an empty bottle and sealed it. I can not let her return and let everybody know where I am after all the effort, brainwashing magic don't work too well on her because of her carefree nature, letting her go outside and Lourantine may eat her like those mice I throw away. So I guess the only choice is to keep her in the bottle until I find a way to deal with the situation. Probably moving to another place again.\n\n Lourantine sits there, waiting for my compliment and head rub. Unlike Rufus she is just an animal, she don't understand what I am, so she think that I like her 'gift' this time. As I rub her head, Rufus enter the room, switchs to his humanoid form and ask:\n\n'What are we gonna do about Ceb? We can't just keep her here for long, Liz will organise search party, probably gonna ask the hooman to help. We need to move. And get rid of that cat. She bring nothing but trouble.' \n\n'Yes I know. But we just finished setting up wards here, it needs time to be undone, else they can not find Ceb after we leave. Maybe I should give Lou a youkai soul. She is useful and just become part of the family. Either way, we are keeping her.'\n\n'Rufus why are you so mean. The cat is so pretty and you want to throw her away? How heartless are you? - Ceb said with an annoying tone.\n\n'Maybe I should just feed you to the cat. It love bird and mice after all' - Rufus pick up the bottle as he say.\n\n'Lord Grey help me. Rufus is picking on me. Rufus is a meanie. Big meanie.'\n\n'If you both don't stop I'm gonna feed you both to Lou. And I mean it. And we are keeping Lou. No discussion. And keep watch on Ceb ok Rufus? I'm gonna give Lou a youkai soul then we gonna move out. Perhaps she will causes less trouble afterwards.' \n\n'She better be. Else I will feed Ceb to her and let Liz do whatever she want.' \n\n'Okay then, Im gonna head to the basement then. Ah, and what kind of souls should I use, a shapes shifter or just some cat monsters?'\n\n'Shapes shifter. I had had enough with cat and their shenanigans. At least a shapes shifter will be less annoying.'\n\n'Well then' - I pick Lou up and head to the basement - 'Let's get the party start.'",
"\"P-pp-please save me!\" Yelled the fairy from within the jaws of Fluffykins.\n\nMy chance, to redefine my life... the moment I've wanted, needed.\n\n\"Fluffykins. Kill.\"\n\nOn command the jaws shut, not a single whisper is heard from the fairy, Fluffkins swallows whole, I can see the body sliding down his throat.\n\n\"Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy?\" I playful question Fluffykins before going about my day. ",
"Cats are curious animals; my cat especially so.\nTrouble is her name; she is such a bubbly cat. \n\nAfter my girlfriend dumped me, Trouble tried to cheer me up.\n\nFirst she brought me dead mice, then she brought me dead birds. I preferred birds than mice, the meats are more tender and tasty when fried. \n\nYou see, I was too depressed to go grocery shopping. Thanks to Trouble, I didn't have to starve. I cooked the birds and mice she brought me and we shared the meals together. Two lonely souls, two hungry mouths.\n\nOne day she brought me a fairy. It was a curious creature: a tiny girl in a blue dress, with wings like dragon fly. Her face was quite pretty, more pretty than the girl who left me.\n\n\"What does this mean?\" I asked Trouble. \"She hardly have any meat on her. Better bring me more mice, they make better dinner than this scrawny creature.\"\n\n\"How dare you call me a scrawny creature!\" the fairy protested, her voice like wind chime in rain.\n\n\"You can talk?\" I frowned. \"I don't like my dinner talking.\"\n\n\"I am not a dinner,\" she folded her arms angrily. \"I am Rainy, the Fairy of Lost Love. Your cat found me in the Tree of Broken Love. She showed me your broken heart and told me your sad story...\"\n\n\"Blah blah blah,\" I said impatiently. \"Are you going to dribble on and on? I am hungry, I don't have all day...\"\n\nShe sighed, \"I know you are sad. I have what you need...\"\n\n\"Food?\"\n\nShe shook her head.\n\n\"Dessert?\"\n\nShe shook her head again. \"Closed your eyes,\" she said, quietly and shyly.\n\nI closed my eyes.\n\nShe clapped her hands and suddenly when I opened my eyes again, I saw a beautiful girl. She looked like Rainy, but taller, and with boobs.\n\nShe sat next to me and put her hands on mine. Her hands were soft, like sweet puddings.\n\n\"I too have lost my love,\" she said sadly. \"Ever since, I have been looking for a true love that will never break my heart...\"\n\n\"I don't mean to be rude, but I haven't eaten all day. Is your story going to be long?\" I asked with my greatest patience.\n\nShe frowned but said softly, \"You say mean things only because you are sad. I knew because I too had been sad. Let me show you something...\"\n\nShe opened her hands and on her palms laid a large rose petal broken in half. \"This is my broken heart. To the one who can make it whole...\"\n\n\"For me?\"\n\n\"Yes for you,\" she smiled, like morning dew.\n\nI took the petal and put in in my mouth, chewed it for a few seconds. It wasn't very tasty, so I spit it out.\n\n\"You!\" she looked at me incredulously, \"No wonder she left you!\"\n\nWith a puff of smoke, she transformed back to a fairy and flied into the starry night sky.\n\nTrouble looked at me and shook her head.\n\n\"Girls are so strange,\" I shook my head in return.\n\nMy cat and me. Alone forever.\n\n",
"\"Hey there kitt, wha cha got there?” I asked absent mindedly as I saw Kitt bound through the living room while I busied myself with the dishes.\n\n\"Reowr\" Said Kitt as he sat himself dapperly at the Kitchen doorway after plopping a thoroughly drooled and disheveled creature upon the linolium.\n\n\"Aww Kitt, what is it this time?\" I hunched down and reached toward the masticated offering before jerking my hand back in disbelief. \"WOAH!\" I reflexively exclaimed as the tiny person Kitt had brought in coughed and stirred with an equally tiny voice.\n\n\"Uggggghhh!\" she moaned, like an intoxicated barfly that had just puked in her uber pool.\n\n\"Uhhh, I...uhhh...are, are you ok?\" God I'm an idiot.\n\n\"Ehhhhhh! Do I look OK to you?! Freakin' Smilodon comes in here and starts tearing you apart I'm gonna ask if you're OK.\" The diminutive woman picked herself up off the ground with a surprising vigor as she tried desperately to groom her wings back from the crumpled balls the cat had chewed them into. Kitt seemed to be more curious with his newfound plaything and batted gingerly at her quivering bits. Incensed by Kitt's continued persistence she rubbed her skin furiously before shoving a Handful of fairy dust into his face.\n\n\"Hey, now that was uncalled for, I was just trying to make sure you weren't a dangly.\" Said Kitt.\n\n\"holy shit! You can talk?!\"\n\n\"Holy shit, YOU can talk? I mean, I figured you guys must be pretty smart, what with the food everyday and everything, but talking? I just never figured you guys had it in you!\" \n\n\"Great, now it's the incredible journey and we've all connected and learned something about ourselves so since I've done such a great job, why don't I just head out? I mean, a talking cat!? That doesn't sound like a situation that would need any wishes, right?\"\n\n\"Woah, woah, woah, there are wishes?\" Kitt plopped a paw in front of the fairy as she tried to casually stroll out the door.\n\n\"Ugh. Fine, what do you guys want? Just...please don't be gross.\n\n\"Really? I'd figure most people would ask for money.\"\n\n\"Or food\" chimed Kitt\n\n\"You'd think right? But no, everyone has to be big old pervs. I mean, I guess I can kinda understand: its sort of a once in a lifetime sort of experience but when you get to my age it's not so once in a lifetime anymore.\"\n\n\"Hence the food.\" Said Kitt.\n\n\"Gross.\"\n\n\"You're telling me, I'm still sticky from the last one.\"\n\n\"Ugh! You could a warned me!\" Said Kitt as he brushed his tongue with his paw.\n\n\"Serves you right Mr. I-have-to-chase-everything-that-moves.\"\n\n\"I can't help it! It's an instinct I choose not to ignore!'\n\n\"You know, I'm kinda surprised that this isn't something that is more commonly know about.\"\n\n\"How do you know?\"\n\n\"What, this happens all the time? How come I've never heard about it?\"\n\n\"Ever been blackmailed by a supernatural being?\"\n\n\"Wow, people really must be perverts.\"\n\n\"At least it makes keeping their mouths shut about it easier. You on the other hand are a problem.\"\n\n\"What, am I gonna rat you out to all the people you already gave handies to? Please, I think your little secret can open more doors for me than any wish could.\"\n\n\"Oh really? I bet you have a good memory, at least you're gonna need it when I-FAIRY DUST!\"\n\n\"Oh god damn-\"*piff* went the little cloud of glittery dust right into my face. \"Ow, that stuff stings, Jezus you little shit!\"\n\n\"I don't believe it! What's your ancestry?\"\n\n\"What? I dunno, I'm a mongrel.\" I said as I ran my eyes under the water.\n\n\"Ditto.\" Said kitt.\n\n\"Great, you have a one in a million mutation that makes you immune.\"\n\n\"Soooo...what do we do now?\"\n\n\"Well, since the dust doesn't work on you, I couldn't even give you a wish if I wanted to.\"\n\n\"Ahem\" said Kitt \n\n\"Alright, fine, what do you want?\"\n\n\"Uhh, I think you know: food.\"\n\n\"Uh-uh, no. That little bastard has already had two cans today, he doesn't need it.\"\n\n\"He's right, I really don't. I was planning on just puking it out into his shoe later to be honest.\"\n\n\"Great, so you guys don't need anything? Am I free to go?\"\n\n\"I mean, sure, but you could also kick it here if you want. I may not be the best conversation but I'm sure it beats wanking weebs off on a regular basis.\"\n\n\"Hmmm, an interesting proposition. So you're saying I can hide out here and not have to degrade myself in exchange for having to put up with your verbal bullshit on a regular basis?\"\n\n\"If you could kick down a few bucks for rent that could also help.\"\n\n\"And anytime you're ready with that food would be good.\"\n\n\"I can already tell this was a good idea.\"",
"But the fairy did not speak, it meowed in thanks.\n\nI scratch Toonces on the head and he scampers off into the living room, proud of what he's done.\n\n\"Hey, thanks kiddo. Real work of art that cat. Probably shits in the mailbox and doesn't even say thanks,\" says the fairy. \"Yeah, I'm trilingual. Toonces says to lay off the slave name and call him Murderspark, by the way.\" It brushes off its wings, leaving sparkle-dust all over my floor. Guess I'll have to sweep that up. \n\nI squat down and just as I'm about to pet the fairy on the head, it bats me away. Whatever it is, it's barely the size of my palm.\n\n\"Yo bucko, aight, look. I need a human for this and you're the only one in the whole damn country.\"\n\n\"Country?\"\n\n\"Yeah, the fence borders. Over in Rainbloom across the picket they've been prepping for a war. Kid, I need that moxie you always show with that dinosaur fork.\"\n\nIt takes me a minute to realize what it's talking about.\n\n\"The rake?\"\n\n\"Yeah! That big ol' big ol'. See here, we're in for a real street sweeper. Us in Petunia Farms all got our work cut out for us. You know up behind the tree?\"\n\n\"I do.\"\n\n\"That's our capital, c'mon kiddo. I'll show yas the place. My name's Butterkiss, pleased to meetcha. What's yers?\"\n\n\"Omar.\"\n\nWith my finger extended, we shake in agreement. \n\n***\n\nTheir wings shimmer moonlight in the sky. They're like pale fireflies dancing in pairs when they hover in front of me. We go over the plan again.\n\n\"Okays, okays. So Omars here. He jumps the fence and just murks 'em like they're flies in a frogpond,\" says Butterkiss.\n\n\"Damn dude. We're really gonna murder these dudes? Like straight up for reals dude? I been seeing things since 'Swam\" says Smoochykins. \n\n\"Aye laddies! Only way we're surviving the cruel kiss of winter,\" says Princess Bunbun. \n\nI ready my rake. Tonight, we fight.\n\n***\n\nFairies don't bleed to death, no, they glitter out. I swing my rake in Mr. Johnson's yard. They explode like glimmering fireworks, their remains flutter to the ground in glorious color. By the time I've slain my twentieth one, Princess Bunbun's nothing but bright dust on dark grass. Smoochykins is no more. Dead. And just as I'm about to take down twenty-one with a wide thwack, Butterkiss is knocked to the ground.\n\n\"Kid! You gotta get 'em for us. If you don't, there's no hope! My wife! My little munchkins!\"\n\n\"So you are a dude.\"\n\n\"Don't project gender, wiseguy!\" screams Butterkiss as it raises its hand to the air.\n\nWhen I turn to try and save him, a rival fairy punches me in the face. I'm nose-deep in freshly cut grass and smelling summer dirt. The fairies gang up. One by one they surround me, tearing weakly at my skin. I realize, wait, they're not even a threat. Just as I'm about to stand-\n\n\"Murderspark!\" screams Butterkiss. \n\nToonces jumps in and meows. \n\nThe fairies turn their head and bow. They... understand him. They gather around and sit. Mesmerized as he licks his paw and coughs up a hairball. They sing in a language I don't quite understand, worshiping their new feline god.\n\n***\n\nMr. Johnson says I'm not allowed in his yard ever again, but that's okay; I let Murderspark out every other night so he can meow diplomacy for all of fairykind.\n\nSometimes though, he still brings me back a dead mouse. ",
"\"I'll grant you a wish,\" the fairy said. \"Just let me go!\"\n\nI stared at Bowser, my cat, and wondered if I were dreaming. She had come to the back door. She scratched the door. I opened the door. There was a fairy in her mouth.\n\n\"I...\" I didn't know what to say, and that is the honest truth! I was lost, confounded by the sense that I had fallen into one of those secret doors that exist only in cheap fantasy novels. \"Look...\"\n\n\"What do you want? Anything you want, I'll give it to you!\"\n\n\"Don't listen to it,\" Bowser said, dropping the fairy at my feet. She stared it down and said, \"Don't try anything, I'm watching you.\"\n\n\"I just....like....\"\n\n\"It speaks lies. I caught it browsing around my garden.\"\n\n\"Like...um....\"\n\n\"Stupid beast!\" the fairy shouted, brushing the saliva from its tiny, thin dress. \"I tell no lies and only invite others to accept my gracious service!\"\n\n\"We cats can't kill fairies,\" Bowser said.\n\n\"Look...I...\" Honestly, I'm a quiet person, but I've always felt that when the time comes to talk, I talk. I can do it with ease. I'm diplomatic even! What would you say if your cat brought you a fairy?\n\n\"At least that much is true, you dreadful animal,\" the fairy said. It flew up and sat cross-legged on the edge of my kitchen counter. \"If you believe that thing, then you surely believe that pigs fly and goblins don't murder the firstborn of every doomed family.\"\n\n\"I just...\"\n\n\"Just kill it already, Steve!\" Bowser said. \"What are you waiting for? Do you want your family and your family's descendants to be cursed for all of time? Do you want your name to be dragged through the mud by every possible means? Do you want your home to be sunk into the very bowels of Hell?!\"\n\n\"Ah, stupid cats! You all are just prancing around, pretend that you are the friends of humans. We are the true friends! We grant wishes! What do you grant but a full litter box?\"\n\n\"Why, you!\"\n\nThey chased each other around my living room, and I sat stunned on a stool in front of the counter on my kitchen. Coffee, already brewed, filled a pot in front of me. I poured some of that, and a lot of whiskey, into a mug. I drank it, and drank more, and even some more. Perhaps not the best reaction....but what would you do?\n\n(minor tense edits)",
"\"Lemme out, ya cheesehead, I ain't got time for dis.\"\n\nI was baffled at the thing zipping around in my mason jar. I was more baffled that it was a little man with a thick Philly accent. It was wearing a tiny polo shirt and office pants, and if it weren't for the fact it was four inches big and had wings, it looked like a guy who owned a seedy pizzeria.\n\n\"What the hell are you?\", I asked as I looked closer at the jar.\n\n\"I'm late on my quota is what I am, and if you don't lemme out, people'll be askin the same thing about your face!\" The thing's voice seemed almost magnified. It zipped back to one end of the jar and slammed full force into the other. The jar barely moved.\n\nYoru, my cat, was staring at it intently with wide green eyes. It pawed at the jar, and accidentally knocked it over.\n\n\"Oh, jeez, put a leash on that thing, silk suits aren't cheap, ya know?\" The dazed thing said while it rolled around on the table.\n\nI put Yoru away and set the jar upright. Seeing as it looked harmless enough, and I thought terrorizing it would be bad for me in the long run, I let it out.\n\n\"Glad to see you've come to your senses.\" The little man floated out of the jar and brushed off his suit. A tiny beeping noise emanated from his pocket. \n\n\"Ah shit, I missed it....\" The little man threw down his suitcase and it's contents spilled out. There were white leaves with little glowing green inscriptions, something that looked like a beetle antennae with a viscous, red, liquid at the end, and a human tooth with the letter A written on it. There was also a framed picture of a pretty, young blonde woman with mandibles on her neck. I had no idea how it fit inside the tiny little suitcase, but it managed. I saw the suitcase's interior had the words \"Daniel Schwartz, Fairy Wish Inc.\" written in gold ink.\n\n\"Wait, you're a fairy?\", I asked stupidly.\n\n\"If the wings and height impediment didn't give it away, I don't know what will\", said the fairy man while buzzing around and \"texting\" on what I thought was a phone, but it just turns out to be a snail shell with etchings on the side.\n\n\"So, you grant wishes, huh?\" As I picked up the suitcase and looked into the interior. The fairy snatched it away with surprising strength, looked at me with a stony expression, then sighed.\n\n\"Alright, I guess I have to do this.\" said the fairy man.\n\nThe leaves suddenly floated and wove around the tabletop, eventually forming a circle face-level to me. A green glow sparked in the middle of the halo, and ghostly image of a fairy with a toothy grin doing a thumbs-up appeared. Old-timey elevator music started to emanate from the halo, and the fairy, or Daniel as the suitcase said, cleared his throat and read in an overly chipper voice the letters on the screen.\n\n\"Hello, I am a fairy from Fairy Wish Inc.! You appear to have captured me by some means, and as the corporation rules state, a fairy must grant one wish within its power to the kidnapper-\"\n\n\"Makes it sound worse than it is....\", I whispered\n\n\"-AS LONG as it does not interfere with any rules.\" Daniel looked at me angrily and said, \"Lemme finish the thing first, then make your suggestions.\" \n\nHe took a deep breath and continued.\n\n\"If a wish is not made 24 hours from capture, the fairy is whisked back to his office and is given stern talking to and a possible demotion. We here at Fairy Wish Inc. want nothing but the best of the best. We appreciate you for listening to this convenient guide. Have a great wish! The papers then dispersed and stacked neatly back inside the case.\n\n\"So, there ya have it, whaddya want?\", said Daniel as he closed his suitcase shut.\n\n\"So any wish? Is this like a Monkey's Paw thing, or like an Aladdin thing?\" I asked.\n\n\"Aladdin, but a bit more relaxed. As an A-rank fairy, I can hurt and maim certain people or increase dopamine levels of women who meet you. No dead people though, that's Charon's schtick.\"\n\n\"Wait, who?\"\n\n\"None of your business. Now, I give you one wish, and I'll grant it. The only rules are no messing with life, so no resurrection, immortality or invincibility bullshit, no wishing harm on other fairies, though I doubt you know anyone besides me, no cash values exceeding the cost of $50,000, and no superpowers.\" He said quickly but clearly. He picked up the beetle antennae and said, \"Jesus, I gotta get a new staff.\"\n\nI thought to myself. Any wish, huh? I looked around my apartment. I had a decent life. While I was a bit of an otaku, I still had a lot of good friends, so no go on the whole dopamine thing. It feels too rapy, anyway. I work freelance as an electrical engineer and earn enough for my needs and hobbies. I love working and making my own dough, so I don't wanna cheat. I guess what I need in life is to see new things. I've been to plenty of places for jobs, so maybe new places isn't the wish I want. No, what I want are new experiences. I'm content, but I kinda want more flashiness in my life. Yeah, no, that'll work.\n\nI turned around and saw Yoru hissing at Daniel. Daniel was now safely floating high up and writing something with his staff on my ceiling fan.\n\n\"Hey, I have a wish!\", I said.\n\n\"Finally kid, I thought I was gonna be demoted.\" He stretched his arms and said, \"So what'll it be, fella?\"\n\nI took a deep breath and said, \"I wanna get a part-time job as a fairy.\"\n\n\"Your wish has be- wait, what?\", Daniel said with his mouth slightly agape.\n\n\"I wanna be a fairy part-time.\" I said matter-of-factually. \n\nSuddenly, his shellphone rang and an excited voice was coming from it. The papers also spilled out of his case and made several tiny halos. It was just a ramble of noise, and Yoru was swatting away at any papers within reach.\n\n\"Jesus kid, look at the fuss you've made.\" Daniel shook his head, but was actually smiling a bit. He waved his staff and everything went quiet.\n\n\"Alright, I can do that. We haven't had a new hire from you guys in years, and frankly, I'm glad. You guys are way too used to messing other people over....\"\n\nHe looked me up and down.\n\n\"But I think you're a nice kid, so.....\" He cracked his knuckles, wrote something on them, then punched my forehead. It felt like being pelted with a tennis ball,\n\n\"OUCH\", was all I said as my body and clothes slowly shrunk. I felt a stinging sensation on my back. Wings, huh?\n\nFinally, I dropped to the floor. Yoru was meowing pretty loudly and was pawing me excitedly. Luckily, she wasn't trying to eat me.\n\n\"Congratulations kid, you're a D-class fairy now.\" Daniel said as a paper halo formed around him. Before the papers engulfed him completely, he said \"YOU'RE NOT GETTING PAID FOR THIS, YOU KNOW THAT?!\" then he vanished.\n\nIt took me a a bit of falling to the carpet over and over again, but I got the hang of flying pretty quick. I flew in front of my mirror and saw that I had pink butterfly wings.\n\n\"Well, I did say I wanted flashiness.\" \n\n\"That'll just let ya get caught all the time by little kids.\" a female voice suddenly said beside me.\n\nI yelled and dropped onto my countertop. The voice came from someone who actually did look more like a classical fairy, other than the leaf green business attire. \n\n\"Hi, I'm Tina\" she said. \"I'll be your boss.\"\n\n- End"
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[WP] In the future Historians have discovered that the Mayan calendar was misread. The real end of the world is the next day.
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"*Oh dear lord*. I set down my notebook, filled with my tiny, sprawling handwriting, and pictures of the same ominous calendar. I sat in my office chair in wonder, pondering the implications of this discovery. Surely it was fake right? They were the Mayans! An ancient backward civilization, condoning acts that are primitive and barbaric! They couldn't possibly be right about something as huge as this. *Calm down Brett, everything is going to be fine.* I tried to control my breathing, tried not to panic, but no matter what I did, the truth was looming over my head, this was true. We really were facing the end of the world...\n\n\"Brett?\" \n\nI nearly jumped out of my seat, having been abruptly torn from my panicked monologue. I slowly turned to face my wife, standing in the doorway of office with a hot plate of mashed potatoes and chicken with her characteristic smile etched upon her face. While it once brought me comfort and happiness to see, now it just filled me with sadness. To think, after today, I would never see that beautiful, warm, gleeful, smile again.\n\n\"Brett, dear?\"\n\nI realized I had been staring with a sad smile on my face and quickly snapped back to attention. \"I'm so sorry Rita, my mind is a million miles away today. What do you need?\"\n\n\"Oh, I just wanted to bring you dinner,\" her face scrunched up in that cute way of hers, \"what's that?\"\n\nI looked down and realization dawned on me, she was talking about the notebook. I snapped it shut and looked back up at her, trying my damnedest to put up a convincing fake smile, \"Oh, it's just work stuff, don't worry about it.\"\n\nShe set the plate of food down on the desk next to me and took a seat, \"If you say so, but I saw some weird pictures in there.\"\n\nOnce more putting up my remarkably convincing fake smile, \"Well, you see, I've been doing a little bit of research into the history of the Mayans, especially in regards to their contributions to modern technology. I assure you, it's nothing to worry about.\"\n\n\"Come now, Brett, you can try to fool me with that little smirk, but I know when, you're lying to me. What's really going on?\" Her emerald eyes sparkled in amusement, not yet concerned.\n\n*So much for the smile*. I decided that I couldn't trouble her with something like this, there was no use in worrying others in something that could not be helped, if we all died, we died, there was no use in spreading the news. \"Darling, I promise, it's nothing worth worrying about.\"\n\n\"Fine. If you don't want to tell me, I'm not going to make you, but I will find out. Eventually.\" She turned and left in a fake fit of anger. I watched as she left and closed the door behind her, possibly the last time I would ever see her.\n\nI pulled out my cell phone. \"Lukas? Yeah, hey it's Brett. You know that project we've been working on? Yeah, I think we found what we're looking for.\"\n\nA pause. Then, after a moment, \"*You mean, the calendar?*\"\n\n\"Yes! By my predictions, we have till about ten a.m. tomorrow.\"\n\nAnother, somewhat longer pause, the sound of a drink being poured, \"*Have you told anyone else?*\"\n\n\"No, I just had to lie to Rita. It was the most painful thing I've ever had to do. Lukas, what are we going to do?\" I looked through my notes as we talked, desperately looking for some kind of mistake, or solution, there were none.\n\nA defeated, weak voice replied, \"We drink and we wait to die.\""
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[WP] You were a drug smuggler all your life, the best in your field. Now, retired at age 82, you face your biggest challenge: smuggling jello into your local cinema.
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"Heh. Turns out smuggling jello into a theater is easier than you imagine. At the ripe age of 82 years young, smuggling boils down to one thing; don't look suspicious. So i didn't. Its easier still, being 82, people do not suspect an 82 year old is a smuggler. In the this case however, EVERYONE smuggles food into the theater. Its widely accepted. So, i didn't look suspicious, and the congeries didn't care to begin with. So i went into the theater, and ate my jello in peace.",
"The time is now. I said to myself. Now or never…. Now or never. I could feel the sticky goodness in my arm cast. \n\n“Next please!” the ticket booth lady said, her voice ringing in my ears.\n\nCome on Rupert! This is as easy as it gets… don’t forget, don’t do anything shady. I thought as my heart rate went up. Stop! I scowled. I will definitely be busted now! I’ll die from a heart attack at this rate. I looked down to the ticket lady. Only four more steps… come one feet! You can do this! You smuggled 400 thousand pounds of drugs your entire life! You can smuggle some 2 pounds of jello into a movie theater!” \n\n“Sir?” The ticket lady called out. “Sir? Are you okay?” concerned laced in her voice. \n\n“yessie! I’ll be right there lassie.” I said, showing off my new fake teeth. I walk up to the stall and ask for 1 senior ticket to see Drug Smuggling: The Movie. She gives me the ticket.\n\nPhase one of mission was a success I mentally jotted down. Time for phase two.\n\nPhase two was the hardest part of the mission. I had to get pass the detectors. Similar to metal detectors but they now detect to see if there is any jello on you. Since 2157, jello has been banned from the universe, all jello thrown into the sun. You see, Jello was found to be more poisonous to the lungs than smoking for 200 years and more repulsive to the nose than 50 year old cheese. This is what made the smuggling exciting. \n\nNaturally I wasn’t going to eat it, but just getting it through the security was a thrill of a lifetime. If I could get it past here, I could get it passed anywhere. After all, movie theaters has the tightest security. I began my treacherous journey 20 feet from the ticket booth to security. It felt like 5 minutes have passed, which it did. My legs have gotten extremely slow. \n\nI finally got to the line to get into the movies. Waiting anxiously, my palms began to sweat, my heart raced, and I began to perspire. I can do this! I can do this! I said to myself, mustering up the courage until I was the next in line.\n\nThe security guards were laughing about something the last person did and motioned me to go through the jello detector. I flashed my Hollywood smile (that got me everywhere) and began my journey through the detector. Not even before I reached it, the guards stopped laughing and one came in front of me, hands crossed his chest. \n\n“Sir. No Jello. Jello is illegal sir.” He grunted out. \n\n“Whatever do you mean?” I said in my sweetest voice.\n\n“Sir. We had this conversation 30 minutes ago. You tried coming in here with jello in your cast. And we took your picture to never allow you in here again.” He said, pointing at a picture of me looking extremely grim.\n\n“Look sir, if you come in here again, we are going to have to actually arrest you.” He said firmly. \n\nThrowing my hands up in defeat, I sighed with a regretful tone of “yes. I know when I lost.” As I turned my heels and trudged back to the park near the movie theater. I sat down at a bench with a bag of bread crumbs conveniently located at the leg of the bench.\n\nI lost my mind in feeding the birds when I came up with a great idea, “Let’s go smuggle some jello into the movie theater!” \nHappy with the turn of events, I walked my way to the movie theater. \n\nThe time is now. I said to myself. The time is now. \n"
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[WP] Write me a short crossover story involving two wildly different fictional universes.
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"What manner of a man would condemn a world to extermination? What beast, or profane daemon of the foulest kind, would dare commit such horrible acts of genocide on a world under the protection of the Lunar Princesses?\n\nTruly. A fool. \n\nBut if there is to be war... Then so be it.\n\n---\n\nIn the darkness, there is only war. This was the unconfortable truth of the universe. Uniformity and control allowed one to hold back the corrupting visages of the Chaos Princes. And this world was lacking such uniformity.\n\nSo, he, Commandant Heragulus Stormhammer, had condemned it to annihalation by laser lance. It was military doctrine to destroy worlds that held such a high quantity of unshackled mages.\n\n\n---\n\nPrincess Mayuri was struggling to transform into her space form.\n\nThis was a problem, as she was the only one with a space form. \n\nIt had previously been unlocked when Keitai kissed her in her civillian form...\n\n\"May-May! Kiss me!\"\n\n\"What? Get off me Rein!\"\n\nGolden wings grew out of the magical girl's back.\n\n\"Hah. You have a powerup through arousal.\"\n\n\"Or by being mortified by idiots like you. I'll go up and fight off this bad guy, you go save civilians or be useful.\"\n\n---\n\nThe temptress flew up to the ship unaided but for a pair of golden wings.\n\nCommandant spoke on the vox.\n\n\n\"Stand down, mage. Resistance is impossible. Accept your execution.\"\n\nHe couldn't hear clearly what she mouthed in the cold vacuum of space, but for the last few words on the magic interpreter.\n\n\"...nar... Orb...al... STRIKE!\"\n\nThe moon of the planet rapidly changed course.\n\n\"Impressive. But your fate was ordained by our laws.\"\n\nHe began the firing sequence, muttering a litany praising the spirit of the weapons he was to fire today.\n\nThe moon accelerated.\n\n\"And ye, though I risk death, I bring tenfold that to the heretic, the magickal, and the unworthy. OUT, damn beasts, for you are no longer men!\"\n\nThe laser fired just at the wrong time. The moon absorbed the hit. The ship's lascannon was overcharged, would take a month to cool.\n\nThe Commandant was furious.\n\nThe magical girl, exhausted, fell back to her world.\n\n\"Activate Order Abbadon.\"\n\nThe ship descended towards a weakspot in the crust.\n\nAnd so the Empire/Lunaria wars began.",
"Captains log star date 2304.5 the Enterprise has come out of a strange wormwhole and found an M class planet with a variety of species. Taking a shuttle and deploying stealth probes we have begun monitoring a settlement of miniature people. The area in its native tongue is \"Shire\" more to follow after the return of the away team.\n\nCaptains Log incremental The away team lead by LCDR Data has arrived with video feeds from the stealth probes sent to survey the area these \"Shirelings\" as we have began to call the are of good character, and seem peaceful. Data reminds me of the prime directive and that these people's are a primitive race. Thus we should not get involved. There is one among them though...bearded with a pointy hat.... \n\nCaptain as you can see the \"wizard\" as the locals call him is using a mixture of gunpowder and other chemicals listed here to make these fireworks... Yes but data the dragon that was flying around use of chemicals can control that. I want you to keep an eye on this village and that wizard this might be our out for making first contact..."
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I thought of this phrase while daydreaming and it took me interesting places. Show me where it takes you. :)
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[WP] Humanity rises.
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"It was a slow day at the office.\n\nA clock monotonously ticked on as the employees unfortunate enough to land a job in OfficeCorp^^tm typed away on their computers. The dull overhead lighting casted a gloomy vibe that everyone inside floor 4 was affected by. Patton, the accountant, pondered how his two cats were doing alone at the apartment. Donna, the HR manager, clicked her pen repeatedly while looking over piles of paper. Mick, the sales rep., was alseep. As usual. It was just that: A usual, slow day at the office. A usual, slow, monotonous day in a usual, slow, monotonous office in a usual, slow, monotonous city in a usual, slow, monotonous world. There were thousands of cities and OfficeCorps^^tm and Micks and cats in this world, and everyday the clock of life ticked monotonusly on with all of these entities inside going about their day, unchanging and indifferent. \n\nThat was until a pen in the hand of an HR Manager on the fourth floor of an office building in a city of the world lifted, slowly, up into the air.\n\nDonna hadn't changed anything in her behavior. She clicked down, clicked up, flipped a page. Click down, click up, flip a page. Click down, click up, flip a page. Click down, click up, floating pen. Floating pen, that certainly isn't right. Donna looked in awe at the pen, which was still heading upwards, and gave a curious grunt. What was more curious was when Donna lifted her hand to grab the pen, and found herself floating up into the air. She gave a small shriek, which snapped Patton out of his thoughts, as well as into the air. Patton never fancied the idea of being an astronaut, fearing the small space of the capsule and the zero-gravity aspect. He found himself nauseous just thinking of it, and found himself nauseous now, being five feet off of the ground. This is why Patton threw up his tuna-fish sandwich he had just eaten no more than ten minutes earlier. \n\nSeeing a fellow colleague throw up is a very unpleasant and unwanted moment in any person's life, and Patton's colleagues felt no different. Of course, none of them were paying attention to Patton's vomit as they were preoccupied levitating out of their seats as well. In fact, **everything** in the office building was levitating up and into the air. Pens, papers, computers, chairs, cubicles, briefcases, Patton's vomit, plants, and even Mick (Who was still asleep, mind you). The office employees looked around frantically and tried to make sense of the situation. Some screamed, some laughed, some tried to get it on Snapchat, and some tried to get the hell out of there. \n\nPatton, however, could not stop thinking about his cats. His two cats, Toast and Cat, were surely experiencing this same phenomena as well. Patton could see cars and people and such on the ground outside experiencing the same effect. It had to be happening to his cats, too, right?\n\nRight. In fact, everything in the city was experiencing this effect. Everything and everyone in the entire world was experiencing this other-worldy experience, and had no idea why.\n\nHumanity was rising, and it didn't make a lick of sense. \n\nAnd then Patton threw up again.",
"It was given many different names, a new era of humanity, the coming of man, but most people decided on calling it; *Der Krieg Egen Falsche Götter* or \"The War Against False Gods.\" It was the moment when mankind had had enough. After three world wars, a global depression and the Cold War, the people of Earth decided it was time for change.\n\nThe greatest rebellion in the history of mankind did not happen instantaneously. It began after the third world war. Most historians named it the first real world war as it involved nearly the entirety of the world's population. The war had nearly 300 million soldiers who fought in the war and 11 million who were killed. in the rebellion, an estimated 3 billion people took part, nearly 220 million of them lost their lives fighting.\n\nAfter the the third world war the nations of Earth were thrown into a global depression, the \"winners and losers\" were equally affected. On one side was the Nouveaux Allies of Europe, India, Japan and all of South America against the The Freedom Frontier of Russia, China and The United States. The reason the war ended was because after a decade of a trading punches between one another, they had exhausted every available resource.\n\nTwenty-one years after the war, a decade after the official end of the global depression, was when the idea was painted in the mind of a woman named Sasha Streinland. She was a student in Germany, or what was left of Germany. All that was left was the military regime that now ruled since the previous republic was deemed too broken after the war. Streinland believed that she was destined for greatness, she knew it. No one had ever told her this, but she felt it. The human race was meant for more than being autonomous drones in factories and labs across the country.\n\nGermany was not the only country to fall under a regime after the depression, the United States, Russia, Great Britain, Japan, several countries in Africa, most of the Middle East and a few countries in South America had also fallen under a military dictatorship of one kind or another. They all claimed the same thing, democracy and socialism had failed. There was now no other option.\n\nStreinland wanted to return the world to a state where humans were not under gunpoint every moment of their lives. Where humans sung the words, \"Life, Liberty and Happiness.\" There was only one way of doing this, creating the world's single most, inspirational, liberating and blood boiling revolution in human history. She knew that she wasn't the only one who thought this way. There would be others, in India she met the man who was going to help set things into motion, Advik Laghari.\n\nBoth of them had the exact same mind, a soul shared in two bodies. They began small, in the heart of India. In Calcutta, there numbers grew from two to millions. There ideas and energy spread from the slums of India as far as the back alleys of Chicago, USA. Groups dedicated to Streinland and Laghari were created all over the world in plea of their countries to change for the better. Streinland and Laghari realized this was going to need a name. This was no longer just an idea, it was its own nation of people. With that, the UPWL, the United People of World Liberties, was born.\n\nThis was not met by the current governments with any welcome. It was a threat to them. The UPWL was a challenge against their own power. Naturally, the regimes fought back. Steinland and Laghari were more than ready for this. By now there were many countries not under regimes that were supporting the movement, France, China, Australia and dozens more flocked to the aide of the revolutionists. Several commisions had been given to avoid violence at all cost and only to engage unless absolutely necessary. It almost always ended in violence.\n\nThere were arrests, beatings, floggings and more martyrs than a city's worth of people. For thirteen years this continued. The regimes constantly demonstrating force and the UPWL never backing down. Their spirits were as fiery as they were at the beginning of the conflict. Not a single soul for the rebellion believed they would lose. History had shown that the people would always prevail, no matter the controversy and adversity. The fire flickered one day, it almost went out completely. The United States regime launched a missile strike onto the main headquarters of the UPWL in Germany, Streinland and Laghari were murdered along with a hundred other important members of the movement.\n\nAfter this, the fire flickered, almost extinguished and then roared into a furious hell scream that consumed the hearts of everyone apart of the movement. Even people not in the movement were enraged by this act of aggression. Months after the attack, the new appointed leaders had agreed that it was time for true action. The time for protest was over. War had officially been declared.\n\nSo it was on this day, the 8th of March, so many years ago. That the leaders of the UPWL decided on one final movement. One moment that would burn brightly in every human's mind on the face of the Earth. In total, more than 3 billion people fought all across the world for the UPWL. Every country was now ready to fight for their lives, liberty and happiness. If that meant they had to die for the majority to have what they deserved, then so be it.\n\nThe 8th of March, in the capital of The United States, 30 million people rallied, flooding every building and every street. In Moscow, 20 million people from all across the country had made their way to the capital of Russia, knives and molotovs in hand. In London, 22 million, the British, the Irish and the Scottish all put aside their differences for the sake of their futures. Tokyo was filled with 23 million students, professors, factory workers, engineers, fishermen and anyone else who wanted what was rightfully theirs. All around the world, hundreds of millions of people gathered in their country's capitals to make one final stand. Their dagger into the heart of all that was evil. It was the final blow with everything that they were and everything that they had.\n\nAt exactly 3:08 pm, in the Greenwich Mean Timezone, the world screamed a rallying cry, \"LIBERTY, LIFE AND HAPPINESS FOR ALL!!!\" If you were perfectly still, you could feel the Earth rumble with defiance. At that moment, 3 billion people charged into the capitals of their countries armed with knives, rifles, broken bottles, and makeshift weapons of any kind that they could find. Fences were ripped from their concrete supports by the sheer strength of millions of human beings, steel doors were broken down from their hinges and tyrants were finally ripped from their seats of power. The regimes were powerless. There was nothing they could do. We had won, our spirits and our might had over come every obstacle set before us. We had prevailed.\n\nI still remember like it was yesterday, storming the doors of Parliament in London. My brother, Johnathan and I had forged makeshift knives to force our way in. We were the ones who helped let the first of us in through the gates. I remember my brother handing me the tools to unhinge the metal gates from its brick stands. I remember hunting through halls for Renimer, the tyrant of Great Britain. I remember sitting on the stairs of Parliament with my brother when he said in a raspy voice, \"This is the day that Humanity Rises.\""
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[WP] In a world of swords and sorcery, someone has discovered an incantation that can split the atom.
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"What would he do with it?\n\nThat was the question, wasn't it? \n\nIt had taken him ages to pore over the dusty tomes in the Great Library, but he had finally stumbled upon it. \n\nThe books spoke of a time before sorcery, before Will-sapping magic was available to everyone - at least to some extent. \n\nThey spoke of tiny particles that made up everything. Different substances had different kinds making them up, and they combined in different ways to create different things. \n\nHe was skeptical at first - the old ones had certainly believed in these particles, but did they still exist? \n\nThe old ones had warped reality, allowing us to change existence with our very thoughts. Had they warped the nature of reality as well? \n\nBut he didn't give up. \n\nHe was a mage, after all. Chosen as much for his sharpness as for his affinity for the talent, he was no ordinary person. \n\nHe stuck to his task long after anyone sane would have given up. But finally, his search bore fruit. \n\nIt all began with a simple combination spell. A flash of Will burned hot in his veins, and he felt faint for a moment before the adrenaline kicked in. It was a simple enough procedure, designed to provide the caster extra energy after casting a spell. \n\nAnd it wasn't even necessary. There was no result. Nothing at all, as far as he could see. \n\nBut then why that flash of Will? \n\nHe went back to the dusty tomes. Days and days passed, and there were times when he felt his head would split. \n\nBut he didn't give up. \n\nHe was a mage, after all. \n\nUntil finally, he understood. Something had manifested due to his combination spell, but that something was much too small to be seen or felt. \n\nHe tried again and again. For months he kept at it. \n\nHe poured all his Will into it.\n\nHe was one of the strongest, and he was unknowingly practising. \n\nUntil one day, he managed to do it. The flash of Will. The moment of faintness. The adrenaline kicking in. \n\nHe thought he had failed again until he looked down at his hands. \n\nThey were wet. \n\n---\n\nWith concrete proof of success and countless possibilities before him, he ventured out into the world. \n\nHe gathered money and power, but always, he was learning more and more. \n\nHe built a circle - twelve people who he started teaching. Many did not survive and fell by the wayside, sapped and drained of Will. But he maintained the circle of twelve, and slowly started teaching them the basics. \n\nUntil one day, the emperor struck. \n\nShaken by the mage's ever-increasing power, he ordered his chancellor to turn one of the circle. He knew he could not openly march upon the mage, for the mage's power was formidable. \n\nAnd one of the twelve was bought. Money, land, and a title was promised. \n\nBut the mage toiled on, struggling to unravel all the mysteries of the universe. \n\nUntil one day, the traitor smuggled poison into his mentor's drink. But the drink did not reach its intended victim - instead, it killed another of the circle. \n\nThe mage was enraged, and he followed the poison's trail to the traitor using far more mundane magical means. \n\nHe tore the traitor apart from the inside out, gifting him a prolonged and unmerciful death. And before the traitor died, he spilled all the secrets of the Emperor. \n\nThe remaining members of the circle watched as their mentor killed one of their own. They watched as he withdrew into a shell of his own making. They watched, and they feared. \n\nBut fear slowly turned to anger, and anger into self-righteous rage. \n\nOne day, they confronted the mage in their combined power, battering him back with waves of Will-shaped weapons. And while the mage could disintegrate them, he had no direct control over Will itself. For Will was of man, an ugly imposition on the nature of reality. \n\nAnd when he realized he could not win, he wept. He wept as Will-cast attacks broke his body. He wept as Will-shaped weapons bled him dry. \n\nHe wept as he died. \n\nAnd as he died, his mind started doing the unthinkable, the one thing he had sworn never to do. He had only a smidgen of Will remaining, but it was enough. \n\nOne particle was all it would take. One particle... \n\nIt was not an easy task, but he did it. \n\nHe was a mage, after all. \n\n---\n\nThat night, the Empire fell. That night, the Great Library was torn asunder. \n\nThat night, the circle was crushed into actual dust, blowing past the remains of the once mighty Empire it could have ruled. \n\nThat night, a good man died. ",
"It was a simple idea. The world was composed of parts which belonged to a whole. A larger rock can be broken up into smaller rocks. A beach, no matter how smooth or how rugged, is composed of individual grains of sand or gravel. Concepts that a toddler could understand. But what if there was more to it? \n\nI was stooped over a desk in the royal library when I discovered evidence of more esoteric lines of thought. One of my fellow librarians had apparantly decided to elope with a handsome caravan hand she met down in the poorer districts. The problem was that the idiot girl apparantly had access to some of the more restricted parts of the institution. The head librarian gave me the unenviable task of going through our inventory and making sure nothing was stolen. \n\nI was neck deep in this monotonous task when I was first introduced to the theory of the atom.\n\nA treatise written in old, tattered parchment bound into a scroll, written by some distant philosopher who lived thousands of years ago. It's funny how such a small thing could change so much. It was not some profound, undiscovered scientific document authored by a thaumatological genius. No, it was nothing less than the musings of an old fool with too much time on his hands, but it was enough to spark within me a great curiosity. \n\nIt was such a small thing, shoved in the corner of a forgotten section of the library; thrown underneath some dusty old portraits and written by a long forgotten author hardly worthy of a footnote in the history books. If I had not found that small, insiginificant scroll... None of this would have happened. I would've still been that clueless, bored librarian who was too inept to have suceeded as a proper mage.\n\nMagic ran in everything that was. It was in the bricks of the tall, perennial royal library where I made my home along with my many colleagues. It flowed in the royal water gardens, strands of it clumping and gathering in the flowers and greenery. Magic was all around us. Therefore a study of magic was also a study of the world. \n\nNobody understood that. They were too focused on practicalities. How we can apply it to our everyday lives. Learning water magic so that they can call rain down on dry fields or fire to immolate armies numbering in the thousands. Earth mages that raise entire cities out of the ground. Healers that can repair even the most gnarled limb to full functionality. Given that much power, how can any of them understand the importance of the smallest grain of sound or speck of dirt?\n\nMy routine gave way to studying when I wasn't fetching books for lords and ladies. I spent hours staring at clumps of dirt, seeing something beautiful that only I could see. Many of my colleagues thought I had gone insane. When I was sacked from my job at the library, I continued onwards never looking back, paying for my research by doing oddjobs around the middle districts.\n\nI made tables and charts. I created categories of elements that I named after myself. It was invigorating work, but it would not last. My funds were running low and I had taken to drinking away the last of it when it was clear that my studies would be coming to an end with no meaningful breakthrough.\n\nIt was a peculiarly quiet night when it happened. I was slumped on the wall of my squalid little room above the tavern. The tavern goers were suspiciously silent that night, probably due to some tragedy I didn't care about. I sat on the filthy ground, bring the bottle of wine to my mouth when my gaze fell on the cork that laid a few feet away.\n\nA thought entered my mind in my drunken stupor. Something that I never thought to do during any of my experiments. The air became heavy, like the calm before a storm, as I focused.\n\nIt seemed so simple, I wondered why I never thought to do so before. The drunkeness cleared away as I entered that state of calm that all mages learn to attain. It takes a quiet mind to wield fire or earth or even water. To do so with a unsettled one will only lead to disaster. Yet, I was only half-assing it. After all, it was such a *small* thing to do.\n\nThe cork suddenly leapt up into the air. Then everything became white. So white. The light was more than I could imagine. I didn't feel anything as my skin was seared to the bone. Then there wasn't even that. Every particle in my body was obliterated. So was the tavern. So were the people downstairs.\n\nThey say that the explosion could've been seen from every corner of the world. A shining pillar of light, like the sword of a god stabbing into the crust of the earth pushing dust up into the air in the shape of a gigantic mushroom. The city that used to be one of the grandest on earth, where I was born and raised, is no longer. It was reduced to ruin, with the few survivors suffering from some sort of 'rot'. There weren't many survivors. I don't know how many I killed that night. It had to be thousands.\n\nI don't know how I survived either. Maybe it's punishment from the gods for bringing such unimaginable suffering on my fellow man. My flesh is black in the color of charcoal, it is wrinkled and rotting and I cannot feel *anything*. A peculiar light shines from my eyes, similar to the one that I saw. The one emitting from the epicenter of the explosion that seemed brighter than the sun on it's hottest day. \n\nI stumbled from the crater, climbing steep inclines on unsure legs. I have seen the suffering I've caused first hand and I know there can be no forgiveness for me. There is a forest clearing near here that should be untouched by the destruction I brought forth. When I get there I will open my veins, if I still bleed, and kneel for the holy judgement of the divines.\n\nI can only hope that the knowledge I sought will die with me.\n\n-\n\nAn excerpt from the suicide note of Delvin Na'falros, Father of the Atom and Destroyer of Worlds.\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n",
"Davin stood before his throne, sword in hand, staring intently at the immense doors at the opposite corner of the chamber. His remaining men, the twenty two that had survived, stood similarly. Weapons held in hand, awaiting what was to come. \n\nAldwin frowned deeply. He looked at the men, from his position he could not see their faces. His gaze wandered across the room, at the ruined mockery that it has become. Through a shattered window he could see the eastern tower of the keep. Broken. \n\nAldwin scowled, \"Such waste.\" \n\nDavin did not look away from the doors, \"I will not have this argument again. Not he-\"\n\n\"I already agreed to-\" Aldwin caught himself, realizing the men within earshot, then spoke softly, \"If the spell works...\"\n\n\"When it works.\"\n\n\"*If*\" corrected Aldwin, \"Everything here will be lost. *Everything.*\" He gestured to the men who stood with their backs to them, \"I want you to tell me you are truly prepared to sacrifice this much for that... that girl.\"\n\nDavin finally turned his head to look at the hooded man, \"I agreed before, as I do now.\" His face darkened, \"Even if it only slows him, it is a sacrifice I am willing to make.\"\n\nAldwin nodded solemnly, \"As you command, my Lord.\" \n\nAfter a moment, Davin said, \"Aldwin, you have alwa-\"\n\nA thunderous clap filled the room as the doors tore from their hinges, reduced to splinters. The shrapnel froze before touching the ground, suspended.\n\nA man entered the chamber. Dressed in black robes, a hood concealed his face, leaving a void where a face should have been. With a casual flick of a hand, the suspended splinters sped across the chamber, tearing through armor and flesh as if it were paper.\n\nThe splinters darted around the room, as if a horde of insects had been released. As soon as it had began, the pieces dropped to the ground, alongside the torn remains of the men. \n\nDavin and Aldwin remained untouched. Aldwin had felt the wards around them being battered by the assault, but held them steady. Davin muttered something to Aldwin, but he did not hear it.\n\nWith a rush of speed, Davin lunged at the robed man. Aldwin felt the ward surrounding him be torn away. Davin brought his sword down, a slice intended to remove his head. \n\nThe sword shattered like glass against an unseen barrier. Davin staggered back, hands held to his face. Blood welled between his fingers from the pieces of his ancestral blade. \n\nAldwin furrowed his brow, concentrating on what he was about to do. He began quietly muttering the words he had rehearsed. An unseen force repeatedly smashed against his wards, but they held. \n\nDavin began to rise, suspended by his neck as if from an unseen noose. \n\n\"The girl.\" The man's voice was calm, but it filled the room with its ferocity. \n\nDavin sputtered an unintelligible answer, then was slammed to the stone floor with an audible crack.\n\n\"Where. Is. The. Girl.\"\n\nDavin coughed up blood, the faintest hint of a smile crossing his ruined face. \"You've... lost.\"\n\nThe man stepped slowly around him, \"Your plans. They will fail. Whatever you have your puppet mage planning, it is useless.\"\n\nAldwin felt his hold on the wards slipping, the force began to find cracks in his mental armor. He continued to mutter the words, starting to feel the drain of power as the spell started to form.\n\nAnother casual hand geasture caused Davin's leg to snap at a grotesque angle. Beneath the his screams, the man shouted, \"Where is she?\"\n\nDavin shouted, \"Aldwin!\"\n\nWith a final word, Aldwin felt his strength start to leave him rapidly. A flash of light filled the room, but was suddenly contained to a small dome at its center. \n\nThe man had his arms extended, as if holding the dome of light. The dome was expanding, ever so slightly with each passing second.\n\n\"What have you done?\" The man shouted, enraged.\n\nAldwin fell to his knees, the strength to stand gone. He was surprised to find himself laughing. \"I've... I've killed you.\" With that, he fell to the ground, to weak to remain upright. \n\nThe robed figure continued to hold the dome of light, now large enough to force him to take hesitant steps away from it. With a shout of anger, what power he used to hold the light failed.\n\n\nAida continued to run through the dark forest, clutching the cloth wrapped bundle close to her chest. She glanced back in the direction of the keep, between the night and the distance, it could not be seen. \"He'll survive. He always does.\"\n\nHis solemn face when he had said goodbye to her filled her memory. She suppressed it. \"No. He'll be alright.\"\n\nSuddenly, it was day. She stopped, surprised by the light. \n\nA horrifically loud noise buffeted her, then a blast of air slammed her in the back, launching her against a tree. She felt blinding pain as her head cracked against a branch, then remembered no more."
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[WP]When the Emperor Caligula appointed his horse to the Senate, no-one expected it to turn up wearing a toga and speaking perfect Latin. Incitatus has some very radical plans for the future of Rome...
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"Incitatus walked into the ornate Curia building, surrounded by lictors carrying axes. People snickered as he walked past, while the aristocracts stood angry, it was said the gesture had been done to insult them. He stood, tied next to a chair, pooping on the marble floor below. An arrogant member of the old senatorial class, Marcus Metulles shouted loudly with his booming voice,\"Let us begin the debate on the taxes to be levied upon the poor.\" A few elderly members shared their ultra conservative opinions on the matter, until Metelles, pointed to Incitatatus, grinning,\"Let us hear what the Emperor's appointees thoughts on the matter.\" The horse stood quietly while the senators laughed and jeered at the horse. But then Incitatus shouted, raising his legs in the air, with the accent of a faraway land,\"We need to drain the Tiber, believe me folks, the establishment optimates are corrupt. We're gonna make Rome great again. I mean look at it folks, so called Catulus has let five hundred thousand Germans into Rome. And if you look at it, believe me folks, they are bringing crime, they are hostes, but some I assume are probus. WE NEED TO BUILD A WALL ON THE RHINE TO KEEP THE GERMANS OUT. This is what they don't want to know, the politically correct Livy, who is in the pockets of the establishment.\" All the senators cheered mechanically, noticing Calingua watching them with his guards. Because of Incitatus' postition as Consul all these reforms were completed. Five hundred million sesteres were spent draining the Tiber of water, causing Rome to be abandoned, with another five hundred million were spent on a wall on the Rhine. Incitatus was then appointed Emperor by Caligula, and killed every human within a fifty mile distance of Italy and established an army of horses, who were quickly destroyed with the empire, by barbarians.",
"Incitatus walked into the ornate Curia building, surrounded by lictors carrying axes. People snickered as he walked past, while the aristocracts stood angry, it was said the gesture had been done to insult them. He stood, tied next to a chair, pooping on the marble floor below. An arrogant member of the old senatorial class, Marcus Metulles shouted loudly with his booming voice,\"Let us begin the debate on the taxes to be levied upon the poor.\" A few elderly members shared their ultra conservative opinions on the matter, until Metelles, pointed to Incitatatus, grinning,\"Let us hear what the Emperor's appointees thoughts on the matter.\" The horse stood quietly while the senators laughed and jeered at the horse. But then Incitatus shouted, raising his legs in the air, with the accent of a faraway land,\"We need to drain the Tiber, believe me folks, the establishment optimates are corrupt. We're gonna make Rome great again. I mean look at it folks, so called Catulus has let five hundred thousand Germans into Rome. And if you look at it, believe me folks, they are bringing crime, they are hostes, but some I assume are probus. WE NEED TO BUILD A WALL ON THE RHINE TO KEEP THE GERMANS OUT. This is what they don't want to know, the politically correct Livy, who is in the pockets of the establishment.\" All the senators cheered mechanically, noticing Calingua watching them with his guards. Because of Incitatus' postition as Consul all these reforms were completed. Five hundred million sesteres were spent draining the Tiber of water, causing Rome to be abandoned, with another five hundred million were spent on a wall on the Rhine. Incitatus was then appointed Emperor by Caligula, and killed every human within a fifty mile distance of Italy and established an army of horses, who were quickly destroyed with the empire, by barbarians."
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[WP] "Did I say that out loud?"
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"The undying demon of death, Bahamut, rose from the floor through a pentagram made of red food coloring and chocolate syrup, laughing a guttural guffaw as he was released from the hell on earth that was actually under earth and was literally hell that had been his home, ready to begin a new age of darkness and despair, a coming apocalypse to the mortals who had banished him all those millennia ago.\n\n\"Uh, yeah, I think you did you fucking moron!\"\n\n\"Well who the hell ever reads the necronomicon in their head?!\""
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[WP] You are an employee of Area 52, not to be mistaken with Area 51. You are tasked with giving the presidential tour of the secret facility.
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"Area 52 was something else that President was suspecting. \n- You kidding me. \n- No mister President I do not kidding you. - John try to look calm and professional. It was hard despite the fact that it was third president that he was briefing. \n- How many people know about this? \n- Very few mister President. This knowledge could to easily be abused so we limit access to as few people possible. \n- I was having plans, big plans. But portal to... Do we send anybody there? \n- Absolutely not mister president. The last time we send something through it was in 2005, and it cause epidemic. We just research stuff that come to us, under maximum quarantine of course. \nPresident silently stood in front of Dark Portal trying to fully grasp what this mean for humanity. \n- And does they knew about? - President asked John. \n- Who? Blizzard? They do not know anything. But we forced them to consult every patch and expansion with department of defense. Thankfully they cooperate. \nSilence wrapped them both. Even Secret Service was forbid from entering the Area 52. Humanity was not prepare for portal to World of Warcraft. \nPS. I Google Area 52 first link was to WoW forum so I went with it. "
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[WP] There is a person that, for some reason, everyone sees in their dreams at least once. One day, you realize YOU are that person.
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"\"It’s hard to believe The Dream began some twenty-years ago.” A peppy news anchor says. His voice is newsy and staccato. “It started on the East Coast of the United States and soon spread to around the globe.” A graphic comes up on the screen. It’s a map of the United States marked with clusters of red points on the East Coast that begin to spread like an infection. The graphic pulls out to reveal the full globe now nearly covered in red, and then fades back to the anchor. “As morning broke on January 5th, 2032, millions of Americans woke reporting unusual dreams. It wasn’t until internet personality Jon Fuma posted a video to his website describing his dream that people began to realize that their dreams were connected.” A picture of Jon Fuma appears to the side of the screen. He has slicked-back, sand colored hair and a cheesy smile.\n\nI usually wouldn’t be watching this garbage, but it’s the twentieth anniversary of The Dream and it’s on every channel. People get so obsessed with the silliest things. Sure. The Dream is a little odd, but it’s nothing to obsess over, and, at this point, psychologists say that all of the hype around The Dream has most likely embedded it in “society’s subconscious\". So, it’s sort of like a self fulfilling prophecy at this point. Who knows what it means? And, most of all, who cares?\n\nI flip the channel. It’s about halfway through a video of a girl describing her dream to the camera. My sister, Sarah, hasn’t gotten her dream yet. Neither have I. She said she had a weird one about me the other day, though. It looks like the video on the screen was taken on a phone. A Channel 7 News logo is faint in the bottom corner of the screen. The word news is used pretty loosely these days.\n\nI flip the channel. I recognize a scene from The Dream Man, a movie that was made a few years after The Dream began. Oh yeah. I forgot to mention something. The way everyone’s dreams are connected is they all take place in the same room with the same man. Each person has described slightly different situations in their dreams, but always the same setting and the same man.\n\nI flip the channel. “… a method of drilling into one’s dream and recording it. We are confident this will be a revolutionary step in understanding The Dream.” A white-haired man wearing a sweater and wireframe glasses sits cross-legged in a chair across from a reporter. The reporter looks to the camera. “Stay tuned. We’ll be right back to watch what people are calling the first televised Dream Dive.”\n\n\"What’s that about?\" I flench. Sarah had walked up behind me and I hadn’t noticed. Her shoulder length hair swings as she teeters back and forth on her heels. She’s wearing an old graphic tee shirt of mine.\n\n\"I’m not really sure. I just changed the channel. Something about being able to see into someone’s dreams or something” I say.\n\n\"Eh.” She shrugs, and flops down on the other couch in our tiny living room. “Could be interesting.”\n\nThe truth is, we are both pretty disillusioned. Most people get their dream by the time they are ten, but me and Sarah haven’t had ours yet; I’m twenty-three and she’s seventeen. You don’t grow up easy when people know you haven’t had The Dream. I was lucky enough to be pretty sheltered my whole life; I never had to deal with it.\n\nI hear my parents got weird after they got their dream. They moved us out to rural Georgia to live with our grandparents, and I haven’t had an in-person friend ever since. All of my friends are either family members or online.\n\n\"We’re here with Dr. Tremble, author of The Man in the Room: An in-depth study of The Dream. Dr. Tremble would you care to explain what you’re about to show us?” The reporter says as the show comes back on. The two men are standing in a small, bright white room with complex devices on a desk behind them. Through a window on the back wall, you can see a woman in a hospital gown and it looks like she is being prepped for some kind of procedure.\n\n\"I’d be delighted.” Dr. Trembles’s voice is deep and jolly and he has an Eastern European accent. “Over the last fifteen years my colleagues and I have been trying to unravel the mysteries of the human mind; specifically, how and why it dreams.” He walks over to a cork board on a nearby wall. The camera follows. Tacked to the cork board are some notes and medical images of a human brain. Dr. Tremble makes a circle around a few different spots on one of the brains. “After eight years of research and testing on both living and non-living subjects, we isolated a few different areas, that make up what we call The Dream Cortex.” He walks to a whiteboard on the same wall. On this one, there are a number of half finished equations and rough concept drawings of a machine that looks similar to an MRI machine. “For the last seven years we have been developing what we call Dream Imaging and Recording Technology. Or, as my colleagues affectionately call it, DIRT.” The camera pans through the window into the room with the woman in the blue hospital robe. She is sitting on a bed that is jutting out from the machine.\n\nIt’s a big white contraption with *D.I.R.T* spelled out on it. It’s loud enough that the sound equipment picks up a faint whirring sound.\n\n\"What we will be doing today is demonstrating the purpose of our machine. We will put Beth into a dream state and will image and record her dreams in real time.” Dr. Tremble says.\n\n\"And you were saying earlier that you test on subjects who have not yet had their dream. Has Beth had The Dream?” The reporter chimes in.\n\n\"Clever.” Dr. Tremble replies, nodding at the reporter. “She has not.” He walks to the controls on the desk, looks through the glass and pushes a button. His voice sounds a bit louder now. “Can you give us a wave, Beth?” She does.\n\nThe doctors move around the inner room like worker bees: checking off pages on clipboards, fiddling with devices around the room, and checking Beth’s vitals. One walks over and gently pushes Beth’s shoulders to the bed. Another doctor brings a syringe over and injects its contents into Beth’s vein. Beth’s eyes close, a doctor presses a button on D.I.R.T, and the bed recedes into the machine.\n\nIn the control room, a large screen switches on. At first, it is a simple splash screen of DreamTech’s logo, then a blank white screen. The white fades to a hallway. It looks like a hallway of an older house. The walls are painted a grayish blue with dark brown wood trimming. It almost looks like my house.\n\n\"That’s it!” The reporter, now offscreen, sounds excited now. “She’s having The Dream.”\n\n\"Yes.” Dr. Tremble says softly. “She is.”\n\nOn the screen, it is as if we are seeing through Beth’s eyes. It is a bit distorted, and there is no audio, but it’s fascinating. I realize that Sarah is now wide-eyed and sitting up at the edge of the couch. I am too.\n\nBeth moves down the hallway. Her movements are slow and labored like she’s moving through a thick mud. There is a clock on the wall in her field of vision that has five hands and the numbers go to up to forty six. She doesn’t notice. At the end of the hallway she turns left into a living room.\n\nThe living room has two couches, both look a bit worse for wear, and, oddly enough, the designs on the couches look a lot like mine. Popular couch, I guess. There are three side-tables and on one sits a lamp. The lamp looks like mine only its distorted and almost formless like things are in dreams sometimes.\n\nBeth’s head turns as though she hears something. The shadow of a man is walking toward her. He is outlined by sunlight coming in through the window. It has to be the Dream Man.\n\n\"Shawn.” Sarah says. “This is The Dream?”\n\n\"I guess so.” I say, but I can’t take my eyes off of the screen.\n\n\"Shawn.” Sara says.\n\n\"What?” I say.\n\n\"You know how I told you I had a super weird dream about you telling me when and how I am going to die, and how I can prevent it?” She says.\n\n\"Yeah.” I say.\n\nThe Dream Man comes into vision. He has blonde, wavy hair just like me, and… wait.\n\n\"I think you are The Dream Man.” Sarah says."
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[WP] There's a perfectly straight and scenic road about 50 miles long at the edge of your city. People avoid going down the road because the person is never seen again. Describe someone's adventure on their drive down this road.
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"That's when I saw it.\nThe temperature gauge and fuel bar dropped simultaneously, whilst the now icy air threatened my lungs. My car began to slowly draw to a standstill - but I barely noticed. I couldn't take my eyes from the grotesque display scattered to the left of the road.\nI don't know how long I was sitting there; in this place, time had little meaning. I just knew that I was waiting for something. I could've easily slipped from the car and disappeared in to the tangled copse just east of me. Sometimes I think this could've been the easiest option, but if the stories were true easy was never an option along this godforsaken road. A subtle buzzing drew my attention back to the left, chills attacking my spine. Twenty three miles down this seemingly innocent stretch, the devil comes out to play. \nWhat I saw next was beyond anything a human imagination could comprehend...\n"
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[WP] Divers to the wreck of a ship which recently went missing discover it has strange, smooth slashes on it. Then, their camera feeds go dark on the boat above.
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"\"On bottom topside, down-line is secured to starboard shaft. Slack me fifteen.\" Jack \"Chops\" Bentley pulled his umbilical to him while planning his next few moves. \"Viz is for shit.\"\n\n\"Roger, slack in the water. Sonar has a ping on your beacon. Stand-by for intro.\" Steve Carini, the dive supervisor, cleared his throat and hit the record button on the DVR. \"Today's date is March eleventh, twenty-seventeen. This is the dive support vessel Ocean Intervention located at Mississippi Canyon block 122. We're investigating the sunken supply vessel Harvey Provider. Diver in the water is Jack Bentley. Jack, how're we doing bud?\"\n\n\"Doing good topside. Do you have camera?\"\n\nSteve replied affirmative and began guiding Chops around the side of the vessel. \"Down-line is secured to starboard screw shaft, which is exposed, approximately six feet off bottom. Chops, keep on the starboard side so you're hose is clear. We'll work our way to the bow.\"\n\nChops acknowledged and trundled along the seabed around the stern of the boat, describing debris as he encountered it. Six feet of visibility hampered his investigation in detail, but this first dive was meant to check the vessel's stability and see if any imminent hazards existed.\n\nThe Harvey Provider was a two hundred and fifteen foot long supply boat, carrying a crew of twelve. When she went down under ideal seas, the prevailing thought was that she'd hit a submerged object, possibly an old caisson platform that hadn't been removed properly. All twelve from the crew survived.\n\n\"Alright topside, shoot me a pneumo. Hull is hard against bottom.\" Chops opened his free-flow for a couple of seconds to clear his faceplate, then secured it. \"Bottom here is hard mud.\" Which was interesting, because not twenty feet away, where he initially touched-down, it was soft mud. He reported he had bubbles from his pneumo and held the small hose just off bottom.\n\n\"We got it. One-nine-eight feet seawater. Continue to the bow Chops, stay close to the vessel.\" Steve checked his diver's decompression schedule. Nineteen minutes to go.\n\nChops resumed his sweep of the hull and bottom, reporting that visibility was clearing a bit. Looking up, he noticed that the tires chained to the side of the boat were still in place and the dark blue paint was undisturbed. Several five-hundred and fifty gallon stainless steel tote tanks were tilted over the bulwarks, and what appeared to be a wire-line shack was dangling overhead. Chops reported everything he saw, especially careful to point out hazards.\n\n\"Roger that Chops, your hose clear?\" Steve updated a sketch on his desk outlining the discoveries.\n\n\"Roger. Still moving.\" Chops continued along, moving slow and deliberate, and checked his dive hose regularly. Ten feet. Twenty feet. Sixty feet from stern the spotted a curious sight. The hull appeared rippled. Contoured like a washboard. *What the hell*, he thought and ran his hand over the ridges. \"Are you seeing this topside?\" \n\n\"Hang on, we need to adjust your light.\" Steve cranked up Chops' helmet light and focused on the flat-screen in front of him. \"What'cha got there?\"\n\nChops reported his findings, took a quick measurement from crest to crest, and continued along the hull towards the bow, his fingers trailing along the ridges. *What could do this to inch-thick steel?* \n\nEighty feet, one-hundred feet. Chops was nearing mid-ships. The washboard tops were further apart and steadily spreading, more like undulations now. Chops could barely make out the the crane pedestal above him, looming like a long-forgotten tower. He knew he'd be nearing the superstructure soon.\n\nOne-twenty, one-sixty. Chops could feel the above-decks towering over him. Knowing there were no bodies inside afforded him a degree of comfort. Not knowing whether a broken-loose air conditioner compressor was ready to fall or not gave him reason to worry. His fingers still traced the ripples, now spread two inches apart.\n\n\"Alright Chops, you've got five minutes. You think you can make the bow before we get you off bottom?\" Steve had two pages of notes and multiple mark-ups on his drawings, including the ridges. He'd have to have another diver inspect the crane and structure for obstacles before they began a salvage plan.\n\n\"Roger, I can make it.\" Chops continued along.\n\nOne-hundred and eighty feet from stern, the ridges stopped. The last of which was three inches wide and two inches in height. Chops reported his findings. *Are they shock waves? From impact? Why does this one arc?*\n\n\"Slack me twenty-five.\" He gave a tug on his umbilical and shifted a few feet to the bow. *What the...?* \"Hey topside, slack me as I go.\" No response.\n\n\"Chops, you've got three minutes. You good bud?\" Steve was barking orders to the tenders, briefing the next diver, and updating the client representative, so he didn't notice the absence of a reply.\n\nChops moved twenty feet to the bow before his slack ran out. He checked the comm posts on his hat, tried another radio check, and was preparing to head back on his own when he noticed something. \n\nFour huge slashes scarfed the hull, three of which penetrated through. The gouges were smooth, too smooth, and ran from the keel at a sixty degree angle towards the stern. Right at the mud line he noticed huge dents.\n\n\"Hey topside, are you...\" He was cut off by a loud, piercing screech.\n\nSteve heard a bit of chatter from below and asked him to repeat before ripping his headset off due to the feedback. He looked up to the monitor just in time to see the video feed cut to black. Addressing the tenders, he told them to get up on the diver's slack.\n\nPierce Pordnoi, the lead tender, choked up on the diver's hose for twenty feet. It came up almost effortlessly. He keyed his radio and asked, \"Hey dive shack, does he have a shit-ton of slack?\"\n\nChops felt something drape across his left shoulder just about the time he sucked sea water into his helmet. *HOLY SHIT*, was his first thought before opening his bailout bottle and side block valve simultaneously. Satisfied that he had breathing air, he pulled his umbilical. Eight panicked pulls confirmed his worst fear; it was severed. *Ohshitohshitohshit*.\n\nHe reached out to touch the Provider before hurrying back to the down-line. If he lost his bearings now, he'd be shark food.\n\n\"Get the stand-by diver in the water NOW!\" Steve's world just hit panic mode. Pordnoi had pulled Chops' hose to surface, clearing the water for the rescue diver. Deke Wallace wound his way through the deck equipment, about to hand off his fins, when something massive slammed into the boat.\n\n***\n\nArticle from the New Orleans Times-Picayune, March 13th, 2017, Page 9:\n\nThe US Coast Guard reports that a dive vessel that sank in the Gulf of Mexico two days ago was caused by an apparent explosion in the engine room. The Ocean Intervention was located in Mississippi Canyon block 122 investigating the mysterious sinking of a supply vessel. The Intervention had been on-site for less than six hours prior to the explosion. American Oilfield Divers, who own and operate the Intervention, reported that twenty-eight of the twenty-nine crew members survived. One fatality, diver Jack Bentley, died when he jumped into the water as the vessel was sinking and was struck by a propeller.\n\n***\n\nEdit: added definitions of some terms\n\nPneumo - pneumofathometer used to measure diver's depth\n\nTopside - the dive shack on the boat where the dive supervisor works\n\nDown-line - a rope secured to underwater destination for ease of travel\n\nBail-out bottle - cylinder of compressed air or gas for use in an emergency"
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[WP] Your new neighbor looks just like Adolf Hitler.
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"\"I'm telling you Mom, its like THE FÜHUR himself! No, I'm not being paranoid- yes, I did take my medication today... okay, yeah. I'm just saying - no, no, you're right. Okay. I'll play nice. Love you too, I'll call you more often, I promise.\"\n\nLisa hung the phone up with a sigh, leaning back onto the countertop. It had certainly been an interesting week - she found a fiver on the ground yesterday, that guy from the coffee shop finally spelled her name right, and oh yeah ADOLF HITLER WAS TOTALLY LIVING NEXT DOOR.\n\nWhen the newest tenant moved in a couple days ago, Lisa had decided to present him with a nice plate of cookies... that she bought from the bakery down the street. Still, sweets were a sort of offering of friendship. Imagine her surprise when the person to show up at the door was none other than ADOLF LIKE SHE HAD KEPT SAYING!\n\nHe said hello in a very thick German accent, but she could barely hear him over her self imposed state of shock. She got out a hello, before thrusting out the plate to him. The weird German dude accepted, took the plate and offered her inside. She accepted, and they talked over the cookies. He said his name was Dolph, and that he had moved here for school. Interestingly, they were going to the same school. Lisa was tense the whole time, but knew that she couldn't rouse and suspicions. Instead, she just asked him about where he came from, the so-called \"old country.\" It was Austria, interestingly enough. \n\nEventually, she excused herself back to the apartment, not meaning to tell him that if he needed anything she would be just a moments away.\n\nThe next few weeks saw a lot of hominid on Lisa's part - she once brought up politics, and he said he was a moderate liberal. Weird. Everyone else in the apartment LOVED Dolph, inviting him to every party that she had gone to, mostly out of obligation. He was... nice. Really good at Mario Party, too. Sure, he could have maybe killed millions of Jews, but damn did he have a good sense of humor.\n\nThat was why she was at her breaking point: here, in front of Dolph's door, waiting for him to answer the door. When he finally did, he had a nice cardigan on and was playing smooth jazz in the background.\n\n\"Look,\" began Lisa, \" I know you're Adolf Hitler, and... I'm cool with it. You maybe history's greatest monster, but you've been really cool the last few weeks, letting me use your shower when mine broke, letting me borrow your notes - I just wanted you to know... I wanna be friends, I'm sick of the games.\"\n\n\"Uh...\" responded Dolph. \"Do you, uh, wanna come in an talk? I think we're on different pages\"\n\nShe gave a little smile, and followed Dolph inside\n\n\n\n\n"
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[WP] On modern-day earth, elves and humans coexist. Elves are proficient at magic, but utterly inept at tech, humans are the polar opposite, half-elves can decently do both and are pioneering magitek.
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"The sun was bearing down on the grunts in the Nevada desert on the third day of bullet archery. Standing at attention, they were looking straight ahead at the day's targets across a field of strange obstacles. Rusted vehicles, wooden structures and a few cactus's here and there. Save the wind, the only sound they could focus on was the count of the drill sergeant. \n\n\n\"Nine hundred Ninety. Ninety-one. Ninety-two...\"\n\n\nThe drill sergeant was sweating like the rest of them, but unlike the grunts, he had a water bag he occasionally sipped from silently. \"One hundred! Now, while your platoon gets started on practice, you can go cool yourself off.\" The recruit, trying to salute, hauled himself up to face the drill sergeant. \"Go do a few laps around the base. When you collapse, which I'm sure I'll hear from everyone else but you, you may return.\" \n\n\nThe recruit was too tired to be angry. Watching him jog a few hundred meters and seeing him fall flat on his face, the drill sergeant radioed for a medic. \"Now that we are done with the formalities,\" he began chuckling. \"We will begin target practice.\"\n\n\nHoisting a rifle up, he revealed an old battle rifle from the twentieth century, post-cold war. It was a Fusil Automatique Leger. Known to historians as the Right Hand of the Free World, he shot it facing the sky. Without missing a beat, a small ping at the back of the range went off, echoing through the range.\n\n\n\"I expect all of you to be able to shoot the middle target everytime when we are done. But since you don't even know how to fire one of these things, today I will expect you to only curve the bullet.\" As he explained, the rifles picked up their rifles and began firing down range. \n\n\nThey had all been trained as special forces both by the Ministry of Advancement and Technology, nicknamed MAT, as well as various organizations around the world. Two halfers came from the German GSG9, another two from SWAT from Texas. One Canadian female halfer came down from the RCMP, a strange one. \n\n\nThe recruit that had fainted was from the Corps. \n\n\nAs they fired downrange, an elven sergeant came jogging down. Saluting the sergeant, the drill instructor nodded as they exchanged words. Then with a wave of his hand, the sergeant disappeared. Muttering under his breathe, the drill instructor continued berating the recruits.",
"\"How do I look?\"\n\nMy other half nodded, pleasantly surprised.\n\n\"Well, you look fabulous, too, darling.\" I said. It seemed like he was a bit uneasy about the whole thing. I mean, I was an elf, he was a human. This sort of thing was just starting to be realized as \"normal\". I suppose it was fair for him to feel that way.\n\n\"It will be fine.\" I said as I flicked my wrist to stand him up.\n\n\"Don't do that!\" He replied, adjusting his glasses. \"If we're gonna do this, you have to let me ease into it. Give me some sort of warning before you use your... *magic* on me.\"\n\n\"Don't say 'magic' like that, it's not some disease. And you're going to have to learn to deal with it, it's not like this is going to be a leisurely situation. Once it's done, it's done. There's no going back.\"\n\nI opened a portal to the Magitek headquarters and gestured for him to walk through.\n\n\"I'd really rather just take my car.\" he said, with a look of uncertainty.\n\n\"There's not enough time to drive, we're late as it is.\"\n\n\"That's because you spent 30 minutes picking out the 'perfect tie'!\" he yelled, imitating my voice in a rather unflattering way.\n\n\"Oh, don't be such a stick in the mud! You said it yourself, I look 'fabulous'!\"\n\n\"You said that...\"\n\n\"Exactly my point!\" I pushed him through the portal.\n\n\"Gah! Stop doing that!\"\n\n\"What's the big deal with going through portals?\" I said as I opened the door for him.\n\n\"It feels... weird.\"\n\nHe walked through the door and I followed suit.\n\n\"Get used to it, get used to it all. We're going to be using it quite frequently in the coming future.\"\n\n\"Yeah, yeah, I know. I will, just let me vent a bit, will ya?\"\n\nI could never understand how he could be so negative all the time. Why waste time frowning when you could be clowning, I always said.\n\n\"Why waste time frowning when you could be clowning?\" I inquired.\n\n\"What is that supposed to mean?\"\n\n\"It means this-\"\n\n\"Don't you *dare* turn my frown upside down.\"\n\n\"Bah, you're absolutely no fun.\"\n\nAs we approached the physician's office, I marveled at the amount of hybrids there were. I'd never seen so many in one place, working alongside humans and elves as equals. If I had any shred of doubt about the job left in me, that destroyed it. We entered the office with haste, not wanting to waste any more of the physician's time.\n\n\"Hello, how has your time together been?\"\n\n\"All right, we're just... very different.\" Michael replied. \"Do we... get to keep our names?\", a question that hadn't occurred to me before.\n\n\"Good question, I'd like to keep mine. Pendrae was my mother's name.\"\n\n\"Your *mother's*?\"\n\n\"Names are largely androgynous where I come from.\"\n\n\"All right... *Pen*.\"\n\n\"That's the spirit, Mike!\"\n\n\"Don't call me Mike.\"\n\n\"If you two are done bickering, we need to get on to your physicals.\" the doctor interjected.\n\n\"We've already gotten physicals, why do we need more?\" Michael asked.\n\n\"We have to make sure that you're still fit for the procedure. We can't be too careful when it comes to this type of operation.\"\n\n\"Fine, make it quick.\"\n\n\"All right, if you will follow me to the other room, Michael. Pendrae, a doctor will be in for you shortly.\"\n\nThe physical went as planned, nothing different. Michael's blood pressure was slightly higher than average, but they decided he was fit to go through with the procedure, anyway. The doctors gave us each a few minutes to say goodbye to each other and ourselves. It was a surreal experience knowing that this would be the last time we looked like ourselves, or different, for that matter. We wished each other luck, or, I wished him luck. He nodded. In retrospect, he seemed to just be agreeing with my wish for his luck. Regardless, it didn't matter. The operation went over without a hitch. When we met back up, it was like looking in a mirror. We sounded the same, looked the same, acted the same. It was a lot to take in. On top of it all, magic didn't come as easily anymore, but my mind worked... differently. I could see things I couldn't before, see the way the world worked, the way cars worked. It was mind blowing. The world was so much clearer, yet, at the same time, much more muddy than ever before.\n\nMichael seemed to be happier. A bit more carefree, and optimistic. It took him a while to get the hang of his new abilities, and I started to realize what he was saying before about magic feeling 'weird'. It was odd, something I never felt when I was fully elven. My new outlook on life made me enter a depression, a common side affect from the merging. Regular therapy was able to help me get it under control, and my focus on the new job at Magitek helped, as well. During the weeks we spent together prior to the merging, I had my doubts. Michael and I were polar opposites. I had no idea how it would work out, but I suppose they knew what they were doing, putting us together.",
"“…and in that way, we can circumvent the conventional laws of thermodynamics with a simple spell,” I explained to my father, who tilted his head with his mouth slightly gaped. Every effort I made to explain Magitek usually ended in one of my parents utterly confused and swearing the other defied all laws of logic and reason. “While most humans try to expound upon conventional laws of physics using rigid equations, magic can adequately explain them like poetry, which gives us a little more creative license in dictating physics.”\n\nNo matter how hard I tried to explain the matter, my father, still wrapped in his MIT sweater, could not conceive that I created an engine capable of perpetual motion. I tried to explain how a simple rune stone engraved with two spells, one for electricity, the other for preservation, powered by a battery could adequately generate enough power to both charge the batter and repaired any damage it suffered through time and ware. The entire contraction laid on table between us as the rune continually glowed with power. My father insisted that the rune must either draw energy from somewhere beyond the battery or otherwise its very glowing was proof that the system was not entirely closed. \n\n“But what about the battery?” my mother interrupted. “How does the little piece of metal cast a spell?”\n\n“I told you,” I explained again. “Rune stones have innate magical properties which need some external energy to release. The battery provides that power.”\n\n“But it’s not a wand,” my mother insisted with a furrowed brow. My father and I made a sour face as we recalled that the last time I tried to explain the difference between a wand and a battery resulted in a screaming match as either parent couldn’t wrap their head around the conception of something which produced some form of energy, either electrical or magical, in absence of an external source. She then argued that the system, by virtue of being entirely closed, violated the basic meter and flow of magic, violating the very basic principles on which the tradition was founded. \n\nWhile either couldn’t believe in the simple machination, I marveled at how my discovery may extend mankind. My mind already raced on how we could create vehicles powered by rune stones, or how we could automate spells dictated by using simple computer code. From my simple invention, I could build the very foundations of Magitek. While both my parents began their usual debate on the fabric of the universe, I wrapped them both in my arms.\n\n“Thank you, guys,” I squeezed them tight.\n\n“Err…for what?” my father stammered. \n\n“For creating something brilliant and new, strange and incredible,” I answered. “Thank you for making who I am.” \n\n******\n\nMore stories at r/Andrew__Wells"
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If Google wanted to they could blackmail us all. Browser history could end marriages, careers and cause suicides. It could also exercise control over people. What would do if you ran this department?
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[WP] You've just been made head of a new revenue generating department at Google: The Blackmail and Extortion Department
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"\"Okay Guys and Gals, let's get to work and burn those miserable fools lives into the ground. And if you need anything don't be afraid to approach me\" Yelled Jim enthusiastically, the new leader of Googles Blackmail and Extortion Department the other one had moved onto 'better' things. The twenty-three workers gave out a little cheer and reported to their desk to begin their days' work.\n\nJim launched himself into his desk at the back of the department it had screens displaying hidden cameras so he could track his underlings and a file with today's orders leaning on his new stapler. \n\n\"Well, who are we destroying today...\" Jim said to no one in particular opening the file using his lightsaber mail opener. \"Oh yes, this should be fun\" as Jim read the file. \n\nJim strolled away from his desk and in a joking tone said \"Ten Hut\" his new team looked at him without the judgmental gaze that his previous team had given him. Jim thought to himself 'I don't think they know I fucked a goat. Good'. \n\"Okay, guys today we ruin Justin Roiland and Dan Harmon. First, we will upload their search histories to Reddit as a 'leak' by some hacker group I don't care which one. Then someone photoshop them onto nudes or find real ones if possible. Lastly, arrange for child pornography to be hidden in their search history so that the masses will think they are monsters. And if we have time someone get Rick and Morty Season 3 from their servers, seriously I can't be the only one desperate for it.\"\n\nJim went back to his office and sat down as his team at the Blackmail and Extortion Department got to work ruining Justin and Tan. Jim didn't know why but he didn't ask questions he had heard his predecessor had done that and well he knows where that got him."
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[WP] You died in a car crash but were revived by a passerby. In your dark moment you recall sitting in a waiting room awaiting to be placed into your next body. You are one of the few on earth that is aware of this phenomena and must convince the others that we are reincarnated and its predetermined
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"My eyes opened and fell upon.. a receptionist's desk? There were about 15 chairs lining the wall in this small waiting room. white walls, blue stripe, linoleum floor.. *am I in a doctor's office?* \n\nThere were 4 people to my left. A kid in a hoodie, slouching and shaking his leg while checking his phone, a woman wearing a pink sweater with her legs crossed, reading a magazine, a bitter looking chubby man with a neck brace and a sling, and a man in a stylish patterned suit reading a newspaper with one leg resting on the other. This man had perfect sideburns, wavy brown hair that must have been cut just before he arrived, and his outfit looked like it was worth more than my car. He slowly turned a page, looked at me over the paper, and gave me a stern look that quickly turned into an unspoken sexual proposition. \n\nI jerked my head to the right, and said to the empty desk, \"Where am I?\" A bearded old man sitting across the room grunted a surly chuckle through damaged vocal cords *Wait a minute. Just a minute ago I was doing cocaine off my steering wheel. What the hell..? am I dreaming? Am I.. dead?* I turned back to the bitter, injured guy. He scowled at me, and as I averted my gaze I realized he had track marks all over the arm without a sling, and he was sweating profusely. \n\nA woman in a violently purple dress entered the room through a door to the left of the desk, and closed the door behind her. She turned to face us.\n\n\"You are all dead.\"\n\nThe silent room somehow became way quieter. after a few seconds, the old man suddenly burst into hoarse laughter, as if death was the best joke he'd heard in years. He had several missing teeth. \n\nI turned to my left and saw the woman in the pink sweater staring with her mouth open. The well dressed man was still reading his newspaper, and gave a dismissive wave without looking.\n\n\"What?\" said the woman in the pink sweater, who had begun to cry. \"I thought I was dreaming! Put me back! Put me back..\"\n\nThe injured junkie scowled even harder, and the kid in the hoodie now had headphones in, and wasn't paying attention. He looked up and raised his eyebrows before looking back at his phone. The old man was still laughing, now in silent shakes with ragged breaths taken in between. *what is so damn funny?*\n\n\"Please wait for your name to be called.\"\n\nShe sat down at her desk, rifled through some papers, and said \"James?\" \n\nThe room swirled and disappeared, and I was suddenly lying on asphalt with flashing lights all around me. It was cold. My girlfriend was crying over me. \n\n\"Jim!\" \n\nShe hugged me, and I could feel her tears smearing on my face. Why was she still crying? She felt very warm, and I could almost feel her heart racing through her skin. My chest hurt, and it was very hard to breathe. I saw stars everywhere. \"I was in..\" my voice failed completely. \"Shhh, we're gonna take care of you,\" said Liz in a shaky voice. \n\n...\n\nTwo weeks later.\n\n\"You have to stop.\"\n\nI laughed. That was a mistake.\n\n\"O-\" I winced and grabbed the dinner table. Broken ribs take way too long to heal. \n\n\"Pass the toro?\" said Tom, my fat, drunk brother. Lisa, his improbably beautiful wife, passed him a plate of fish atop rice balls. Accepting it, he turned to me.\n\n\"I don't care if you saw the Virgin Mary. No one will ever believe you. You had a weird dream, and that's it. Thank you.\" \n\nLiz had passed a large joint to him, and he put it in his mouth. She tucked her short blonde hair behind her ear.\n\n\"Please don't lip it, Tom,\" she said with a look of mild disgust. Tom took it out of his mouth and exhaled a large cloud in my general direction. \n\n\"Sorry,\" he said, still staring at me as he accidentally ashed in the soy sauce. \n\n\"I thought I was getting secret messages from John Bonham in Wendy's commercials when I got dosed with acid. Everyone goes off the deep end every once in a while. I mean-\" \n\n\"No they don't, sweetie,\" Lisa interrupted, smiling.\n\n\"Whatever,\" he said, joint back in his mouth. \"I just don't want people to think my brother is insane.\" \n\n\"Pass that thing, opiates aren't enough right now.\" \n\nI was in a lot of pain still, and feeling more annoyed by the second. Tom took an enormous final drag and awkwardly leaned over the table to pass it. The table shifted slightly with a whine, and Lisa grabber her plate unnecessarily. Realizing I wasn't about to reciprocate, he shrugged and underhand tossed the bone next to my plate. Liz, who had been clearly gesturing to let her pass it, rolled her eyes. I put it in my mouth, and gave Liz a look like 'don't even say it. I know.' \n\n\"my arm is in a sling, and I'm eating..\" \n\n\"I know,\" she said. \n\nI took a long pull, and Liz pulled it out of my mouth to take a hit. \n\n\"The thing is..\" I exhaled, and Liz held the joint in front of my mouth as if she could read my mind. I took another quick hit before she leaned back and started smoking it herself. \n\n\"I have never had a dream that was so real. damn, that's some good shit. what was I about to say..?\" Lisa giggled. \n\n\"Oh yeah-\" \n\n\"Dude, you know as well as I do that your brain releases DMT as it's shutting down. Remember last time you did DMT? You went comatose, on the couch and when you woke up you told me you thought you were a knight in medieval times.\" Lisa laughed, and Liz rolled her eyes. \n\n\"But this was different!\" I said through a mouth full of yakitori. I swallowed. \"Look, there were other people there. Maybe I can find one of them.\" \n\n\"Okay, what were their names?\" \n\n\"I didn't ask for anyone's name..\" \n\n\"Well, you're fucked,\" said Tom authoritatively. He then started laughing and looking around the table to see if anyone else thought it was funny. They didn't.\n\nLiz was staring vaguely at Lisa and I, eyes completely unfocused, mouth agape. She raised an eyebrow and focused her eyes on me.\n\n\"How well do you remember their faces?\" \n\n*I love Liz.*\n\n...\n\nThe next day, Liz and I went to the studio of a friend of hers from art school who worked as a forensic artist for the New York Police Department. Tom said it was a waste of time, and told me he would eat an actual goat penis if we found anyone who could corroborate my story.\n\n\"His chin was a little thinner than that..\"\n\nWe had been at it for 3 hours, and her drawing of the fat, grumpy guy who sat next to me was barely accurate at best. This was nowhere near as quick and easy as it seemed in the movies. \n\nTwo hours later, we walked out with a very realistic sketch of an overweight intravenous drug user. \n\n\"Kelly promised to run it through facial recognition software and get back to us in a week. I hope it was worth $750.\"\n\n\"We'll see.. I had no idea it would be that expensive.\"\n\n\"Expensive? That was half-off,\" Liz said with a smirk.\n\n\"Jesus! I should have gone to art school.\"\n\nLiz opened the car door for me and walked around to the driver's side. As soon as we got in, my phone started vibrating in my pocket.\n\n\"Shit, I'm getting a call. Could you get that?\"\n\nLiz took it out of my pocket. \n\n\"It's Tom,\" she said, holding the phone against my ear. \n\n\"How sober are you right now?\" \n\n\"Uhh.. Very?\"\n\n\"Good. I need you to drive me to a party.\" There was laughter in the background.\n\n\"Where are you? It's the middle of the day.\"\n\nMore giggling came through the phone. \"Stop it! I want a lawyer,\" my brother said. \n\n\"Alright, just text me an address.\"\n\n\"Okay, one-\"\n\n\"I love youuu, Lizzy!\" came Lisa's voice, sounding very drunk.\n\nLiz rolled her eyes.\n\n\"We're on 5th and E. I gotta go, I- stop it!\" \n\nWe pulled up in front of the bar to find Tom and Lisa kissing passionately. Liz honked the horn, and Lisa jumped. Tom's head spun lazily to look for us, and then bumped into Lisa's as they looked back at each other. \n\n\"Get in the car, you drunk fucking idiots!\" \n\n...\n"
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[WP] As a psychic, the dating game is hard. Every time you start dating someone new, you have flashes beyond the honeymoon stage, of your future arguments as a couple.
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"\"Are you fucking stupid?\" She screamed, the left side of her upper lip curling into a familiar look of disgust.\n\nJazz ran his hand across his face and rubbed his nose as if he had an itch. As he put his hand down, he put on his best smile and looked her in the eye, \"I'm sorry?\"\n\n\"Yeah you are,\" she giggled. Jazz kept his smile. \" I said, are you stopping by later?\"\n\nJazz looked down, \"I...uh....--\"\n\n\"You're what, just tired of being with me? Do you even still love me? What the fuck, Jazz?\"\n\n\"--Yeah,\" Jazz replied, looking back up. \"Yeah, I, uh, got this thing after work with Ash; but I'll give you a call when I get done.\"\n\n\"Okay!\" Melissa chirped. They both leaned in for a kiss, and when they were finished, she left. \n\nJazz sighed and dropped his head. *What am I doing?* He lifted his eyes in time to catch Melissa turn around and wave goodbye before she disappeared inside the building. The smile that came to Jazz then was genuine. *One day at a time*, he reminded himself.",
"\"Oh, cute! What kind of dog do you have?\"\n\n\"I think it's a shepherd mix,\" I respond unenthusiastically.\n\n\"I'd love to meet him,\" replied Ginger, resting her cheeks on her hands. \"I had an aunt with a German shepherd when we were kids. I just love dogs.\"\n\n\"Yeah, I know,\" I comment absentmindedly, flipping through the mental images of us in our condo 3-years later. The dog shit on the floor has already started to harden after being left to sit all day. 'I told you, I don't do shit!' she screams at me as I take off my coat. 'Besides, he's your dog! You should have just got us one that knows how to go outside!' I struggle with my bag strap - it gets stuck on my bike helmet as I take it off - and start yelling. 'You've been home all day! You couldn't have...'\n\n\"Huh?\" puzzled Ginger, her eyebrows twisting into a cutely contorted squiggle. Shit, I wasn't paying attention.\n\n\"Oh, heh, I meant me too,\" I recovered with a smile. The buzzer goes off. \"Guess we'll see if you get to meet him!\"\n\nGinger smiled a sweet, massive, excited smile. \"I hope so!\" she said with a wink as she stood up and moved to the next table.\n\nMary straightened her skirt and sat down. She gave me a sweet smile and adjusted her wine glass so that it sat neatly centred on the corkboard coaster in front of her.\n\n\"Hello...Steven,\" she said carefully, leaning in to read my nametag.\n\n\"Hi Mary,\" I said softly, giving her my best 'I swear I want to be here' smile. \"So tell me: a bowl of M&Ms or a bowl of chips?\" I had become pretty good with asking benign disarming opening lines. It didn't really matter which she picked; I only needed to stall until the familiar white flash took hold and the future reel started playing.\n\n\"Hmmmm, M&Ms I think. I'm not really a...\" I hear her start, but quickly tune out. Well, not tune out. More like flip her into the background. I'm not really sure how to explain it; I've never really understood how it works. When I was a kid, I just thought it was how everyone's brain worked. It made things like Christmases and birthdays hard to understand. They just don't have the same sort of impact when you can see what presents you're getting three months ahead of time.\n\nMary stares at me. Oops, my turn. \"I guess you were one of those 'health nut' houses growing up, hey?\" She leans forward, looks up at the ceiling in thought, and begins to prattle on. Good, it landed me some more time.\n\nAnd just in time too. I can feel the tingle in the back of my head and the white invades my eyes. Mary and I sit in a minimalist kitchen, drinking coffee silently. I put my coffee down on the table. Mary shoots me a razor-thin glare and slides a granite coaster under my cup. 'Is that what you're wearing to the Spitz's tonight?' she asks with a snarl. 'I'm not going to the Spitz's tonight, I'm meeting up with Mark,' I respond into a magazine. Mary slams down her cup, spilling coffee on the table. She starts to clean it up as she speaks: 'I told you you're wasting your time with those slobs. I swear to god, I don't know why I even bother trying to fix you up when you're just so content being...being...fucking USELESS.'\n\nI cut the feed and rejoin Mary at the table. She's picking at an indent on the table. \"Well, I guess there's no accounting for overbearing parents, right?\" I toss out lazily. \n\nThe buzzer goes off. Mary stands up, flattens the wrinkles out of her skirt, and turns towards the next table. \"Nice to meet you, Steven,\" the side of her face tells me.\n\nI look to my left to see a cherubic little beauty approaching. Her name tag reads 'Katy', with an 'ie' written in parentheses beside the 'y'. The small, round beauty mark on her upper lip turns to an oval as she smiles and reaches out to shake my hand.\n\n\"So have you done this speed dating thing before, Steve?\" Katy asks. I'm not used to not getting the first word in. I must have stumbled on my game because of the curious name tag.\n\n\"Uhhh,\" I stammer. \"Yeah. I mean, once or twice. You?\" I get stuck on her hair, which does a funny little uneven flip around her left ear.\n\nKaty spins her wine glass. \"Nope, first time. You think it's mostly the same types of people who do this?\" She talks through the side of her mouth. It's cute.\n\n\"Maybe?\" I say. Nothing yet. I try to stall. \"What do you mean?\"\n\n\"Oh, like, just the kind of people who can't work through their own flaws enough to find someone in the normal world, you now?\" She winks and takes a long sip of wine.\n\nI fake a little chuckle. Why isn't anything happening yet? I try to go to the secret space, but all I see is static. \"I guess people see in themselves what they want to see.\"\n\n\"Or ignore what they want to ignore,\" says Katy. \"Like that Mary chick before me. I've been following her this whole time and I think if she was ever forced off her schedule for the day she'd be tied up in the loony bin.\" I like the way she holds onto the o's in 'loony'. She'd make a good voice actress.\n\nStill nothing. It's never taken this long before. I'm looking all over the place, but I can't find her. I come back to the foreground to discover I'm genuinely laughing. \"I know, right? You'd think she...\"\n\nSuddenly, the buzzer. Katy stands up. \"Good talking to you, Steve.\" Still nothing. I'm panicking. I don't even say goodbye.\n\nThe rest of the hour flies. I leave a trail of unsatisfied women in my wake as I track Katy around the room, trying to see something. Anything. But nothing's there.\n\nAs the final buzzer goes and the host starts explaining the process, I book it for the lobby. To my excitement, I see Katy leaving early as well. She has a bounce to her step that makes her movement seem like some playful dance.\n\n\"Katy, wait!\" I call out, chasing after her.\n\n\"Oh, hey Steve.\" she responds with a smile. \"What can I do ya for?\"\n\nI struggle for words. I do one last check through my head, but still no sign of Katy. \"Would you like to go grab a coffee or something?\" I quickly blurt.\n\nKaty's eyes dim. \"Oh, sorry Steve, I just don't think we really clicked.\" She twirls and heads for the door. \"See ya!\"\n\n\"Wait!\" I yell, grabbing her arm. \"I've been told I'm more charming outside of these things.\"\n\nKaty sighs and pulls her arm back. God, her skin is so soft. \"Listen, Steve, you get it. In four months, you're going to call me a cunt on the way to the movie theatre because you're pissed you still can't find me. I'll explain that I don't know why and try to apologize, but it won't make a difference. We'll drag it along for another month before I just pack up and leave.\" Her eyes turn soft as she touches my shoulder. \"Best to just nip it here, right?\"\n\nKaty turns to leave again. I stand motionless, searching for anything to work with. The crowd begins filing out of the room around me as I call out.\n\n\"Isn't there anything good? Don't we have a lot of fun?\"\n\nKaty holds the door, looks back, and smiles. \"We don't bother looking for those parts, do we?\"\n\nAs Katy walks through the door and out into the busy street, I stand floating in an empty sea of static, bounced around by the newly minted couples cascading past.",
"\"I'm so sorry,\" I said. \"But it's definitely you, not me.\"\n\nJames looked confused. \"I-uh-what?\" He stammered. \"What do you mean, it's me?\"\n\nI set my cup of coffee down and leaned forward, putting my elbows on the table. \"I mean, you don't like it when I work late.\"\n\n\"Obviously!\" He huffed. \n\n\"No, I mean you really don't like it when I work late,\" I explained. \"So much so that you considered throwing your phone across the room when I called you from the office last night.\"\n\nJames froze, latte in hand. \"No I didn't...\"\n\n\"Oh yes you did.\" I took another sip of coffee. \"You also think my friend Ashley is stupid, think I'm too hard on myself, and that I'm ridiculous for loving avacado smoothies. Oh - you also hate that purple sweater I love.\"\n\nJames dropped his cup with a 'thunk'. Thankfully, it was almost empty, and only a couple drops of frothy milk splashed on the table. \n\n\"What...how...\" he sputtered. He closed his mouth and then looked me square in the eye. \"How do you know these things?\"\n\nI gave a little shrug and shook my head sorrowfully. \"I'm blessed with a great eye for the details of the future,\" I intoned solemnly, hoping he wouldn't ask questions.\n\nJames looked down, back up at me, and then back down at the table, shaking his head. \"I swear,\" he muttered, \"if I didn't know better.\"\n\nI smiled inwardly. James was definitely the smartest guy I dated. All of the fights I saw in the future were not flippant, with the exception of the purple sweater debacle of 2018, and I did appreciate that. \n\nJames looked back up, and I was shocked to see a small tear in his eye. \"But I love you and that ridiculous sweater,\" he said slowly. \"Yes, you loving avacado smoothies is weird and unnatural, but I don't have to drink them...and Ashley? I just don't like the way her husband treats her.\" He reached for my hand, and I shrunk back.\n\n\"I am never going to stop reminding you that you shouldn't work late every night,\" he said, \"but that's because I love you, and I want you to treat yourself better. And if loving you so much that I want you to have a better life is the reason you want to break up with me, well, then I guess it's not meant to be...so are you sure?\" His hand made contact with mine and I jumped, preparing myself for a future vision. \n\nBut instead of seeing the future, I saw my past. Dismissing men at the first sign of a fight, or seeing them bald and pudgy, using my gift as a crutch and a reason to lock myself away. \n\nAnd then it jumped to the future, and I saw our fights again, except this time they seemed diminished, less angry. \n\nI looked into James' eyes. \"As long as you let me in there,\" he said, nodding at me, \"I will love you, no matter what.\"\n\nI sat there, frozen. With all my abilities, I'd never seen this coming...what was I supposed to do? I looked at him, my eyes pleading. He smiled, got up, and came around to my side of the booth.\n\n\"It starts right here,\" he said, sitting down next to me and wrapping his arms around me. \"I'm right here.\"\n\nI hesitated, and then snuggled in, resting my head on his shoulder. \"It's not you,\" I admitted. \"It's me...and I love you too.\"\n\nAnd we sat there, pushing the past away, not thinking about the future, just embracing each other in the present.",
"The rain kept pattering against puddle and window, and on my umbrella as well. I looked nervously from car to car, each car that slowed in front of Geja's made my heart speed up. I watched each couple get out, dressed head to toe in toe in very upscale wear. The little signs played into their future, like the man who didn't open the door for his significant other. With a quick look into my hand, I saw the night they got their divorce. \n\n\"Hmm. They got married.\" I exclaimed, watching the woman struggle to jump over a puddle, and shooting a look at her boyfriend.\n\nFinally, a black car slowed to the side, and out she popped. She wasn't as fancy as the other women, dressed in jeans and a nice blouse, but jeans nonetheless. She took the onslaught of rain like one would getting sprinkled with crude oil. She swiftly moved, emitting a slight almost inaudible squeal, and ran under my umbrella. Almost as soon as she pressed against me, I saw the beginning.\n\nThe rain subsided. I stood in an apartment, my belongings sprinkled amongst ones that I had never seen before. Seconds after the vision began, a suitcase flew into the living room, landing with a gigantic thunk.\n\n\"I can't do this anymore, you are SO boring. You don't care about me to pretend to be interested in what I like.\"\n\nShe finally came into view with another bag. She tossed it ontop of the other, and her head snapped up so her eyes could leer into mine, laced with anger. The eyes then narrowed and her mouth creased into a frown. I must have said something.\n\n\"Name one thing you do that I like doing...\"\n\nShe waited.\n\n\"Oh really? I like doing that? See that's your thing. You're so psychic, you couldn't say something before? You didn't see all this?\"\n\nShe waited once more, eventually scoffing and disappearing out of view again.\n\nA few more minutes passed and she stormed back in, even more enraged.\n\n\"I cheated on you because I want to feel loved! Don't you understand that? I know it's shitty, but I feel like nothing to you!\"\n\nShe started to cry, crying even harder after a few seconds.\n\n\"I wouldn't lie to you if I felt like I could talk to you! For someone who can see the truth, you really can't handle it...\"\n\nI wanted to move to her, but I could only observe. She looked up.\n\n\"See, that's why I'm leaving you. Michelle will be here to get the rest of my stuff...\"\n\nShe moved towards the door with her bags. Suddenly she stopped, digging in her pocket, sobbing even harder as her hand stopped rummaging. \n\n\"I do love you. That's why you need to find someone else.\"\n\nShe produced a shiny emerald ring, which she placed on the counter. As she left she turned one last time and said \"If you see this, just save us the trouble...\"\n\nAs the door closed, rain filled the room, the smell of Geja's entered my nose once more, her arms wrapped around my bicep.\n\n\"What's wrong babe?\" \n\nI wasn't used to her voice being filled with hope, with love. I looked down into her eyes, they sparkled. Her eyes meeting mine made her giggle. I couldn't...\n\n\"Nothing, lets go in.\"\n\n\"Ok,\" she kissed me on the cheek,\"I love you. This place is really awesome, you have great taste.\"\n\nAs she lead me in, I could only think... for how much longer.",
"Being a psychic was hard. Camila had learned that her gift was more of a curse. In a few seconds, she could view the highlight of every possible relationship. She wasn't given much choice about this either. It had made dating an extremely difficult endeavor that her friends made her keep trying. \n\nSpeed dating usually yielded the best results. The first one looked promising, but she lost his number quickly. She hadn't even given him her real name. Oh sure, the sex looked great and he would provide for her well, but he'd die in a skydiving accident at twenty-nine. It'd leave her with a gaggle of greedy in-laws. \n\nThe next one would kill her in a fit of jealousy after the divorce. \n\nThe third had some *serious* daddy issues that she felt embarrassed to be even future privy to. \n\nThe one after that wouldn't last longer than the fourth date, where they figured out their incompatible bedroom quirks. \n\nThe next was wearing an expensive suit, but his finances were an absolute wreck. He was a gold digger and she steered clear. \n\nThe last one of the night was utterly blank. Camila blinked at the shy, average-looking man across from her. She saw nothing. No flashes. She concentrated for just a moment and saw flashes of a future that wasn't him being a serial killer, before she retreated. She held out her hand to the stranger, intrigued. \"Hi, I'm Camila.\"\n\nHe shook her hand, \"Rob.\"\n\n\"Hey Rob, I know this sounds sudden, but do you want to get out of here?\" She didn't know where the rush of words came from. \n\nHe laughed. It was nice and made her bite the inside of her cheek to hold back a stupid smile. \"Sure. I know a bar around the corner from here.\" He jerked his thumb as if pointing to it. \n\nCamila nodded, grabbed her purse, and entered into the unknown. "
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[WP] Death searches for an Apprentice
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" It was another nearly cloudless day in Orlando. Little Orby had just finished his fifth cotton candy and was going back for more when he caught the eye of an ominous yet frequent visitor to the park. Hiding in plain site as usual, the angel of death, cloaked in his velvety shroud of confusion, hovered just above the scorching hot pavement. He had seen this boy before, countless times, in the woods behind his grandparents house in far away Oregon. \n\n Orby had a way with animals. Just a wayward glance from his dull eyes hiding behind his chubby cheeks and careless bangs could cause the most errant squirrel to fall into a trance. And that is when he would strike. Not with the stealth and speed of a trained killer, but with the oafish gait and clumsy feet of an overweight circus clown. It mattered little, however; Little Orby always managed to scoop up the dazed squirrel, bird, or small dog he had his gaze set upon. And once they were in his grasp, there was nothing to be done about his pulverizing grip. Bones crunching, blood spurting, death always found these timid, tortured souls. And so it found Orby...\n\nMore to come if people like it\n\n ",
"The times were fragile, shadows facing no choice but to stretch and twist beyond their natural position. The winds had risen to sweep the sidewalks free of litter. It parted the rain in waves invisible to the empty street. \n\nThe water danced in the gutters, joining hands with crumpled newspapers. Ravens and crows sheltered under the weeping willows, singing a song about the lost moon. The frogs set the beat with their trumpets and saxophones. \n\nA light sparked in the darkness, then died. The spark was mourned by the fire that followed it. A woman hunched over the warmth, splaying her hands and wishing for her clothes to dry quickly. The ghost of that dead spark tried to encourage the fire to blaze brighter, for the rain and birds and frogs. \n\nThe fire burned lower instead, smoking more than it should. The woman cursed and sealed the cave tighter to keep water off it. She laid beside the fire and the dead spark watched its creator sleep. \n\nIt did not take long for her spirit to rise from her corpse. The spark stirred itself in excitement, wondering what to say. The lights in her eyes joined the spark, becoming part of its flicker. It felt, quite suddenly, like it had an idea of where the woman needed to go. The woman's spirit gazed down at the body she'd left, at once mournful and accepting. Her head turned and she watched the spark. \n\nThe spark flickered, unsure of itself, and then the ghost began to move. It kept close enough that she no longer felt cold or wet, but urged her to follow by staying just out of her reach. \n\nShe ran, laughing, over the pastures of her youth. Past the rows of corn and dirt roads. The light swirled playfully until the woman stopped chasing it. She turned to the brighter lights of her home. She paused and looked to the spark. She took a final memory of earth before disappearing beyond its limitations. \n\nThe phantom spark no longer knew where to go. \n\nA ray of moonlight emerged from the clouds and lit upon the body of a frog. Its spirit was lost, still trying to play with the others. \n\nThe spark felt as if it had been given an important job. So, it got to work. "
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[WP] As a Djinn (or Genie) you have granted hundreds of thousands of wishes for people over the years. One day you are called before the High Wish Council to undo one of your wishes, which one was it again?
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"\"Which wish again?\" I said. The one where you changed the 2016 American presidential election Councilmember Aadar replied angrily. \"Do you realize what you've done?!!!\" He leans in closely. \"The humans are protesting, chaos is reigning supreme, and at this point HE might rise up again.\" I shakily nod my head. But then I remember one thing. My face pales as I remember that the spell I cast to grant the wish was not very easy to reverse. This was going to be a long day. ",
"*\"I wish for immortality!\"*\n\n\n*\"I wish for a million dollars!\"*\n\n\n*\"I wish to the most powerful man on earth!\"*\n\n\nMany wishes comes from the world of men and many of them are pretty similar, power, everlasting life, wealth or vengeance. There are some pretty off every now and then, saving one's life, beauty, success etc. They matter very little. When encountered with unlimited possibilities humans are so simple, always bound by their greed and possibilities that they fail to realize the price they have to pay for such things. Yes, indeed, all wishes have one major failure: they cannot come out of nothing so naturally a price has to be paid for it to come true, but the problem again revolves around the manner is which the wish comes true.\n\n\n*\"I wish to meet my true love.\"* a woman tells me. Little does she now that precognition is strictly forbidden by contract, i can peek into it, but not reveal is forbidden, as well as granting that power. I snap my fingers and she falls into the dreamworld, a dream from which she will never wake up. The love of her life? unimportant, I'll just create a world where a perfect, made up guy that stems from her current memories exists for her. She won't be able to tell the difference.\n\n\nAs a Genie it's my duty to turn wishes into reality, but for every wish you loose a part of your soul equal to the magnitude of the wish, but recently i have been disregarding the rules. After all surviving in a world where technology is everywhere, should a Genie pop out, it would surely become a lab rat. I walk through such a world where others like myself dare not thread so easily I get goosebumps, as for these poor souls, they will be used to release me from this curse. All has gone well, until today that is.\n\n\nI don't know for what reason or why, but I am very suspicious of the High Wish Council ever since i have been summoned. For over 3 years I have been waiting turn here in the Ruling Halls of the Wish, a relatively small amount of time, if you count all the other Genies and their misdemeanors. I happen to have learned the hard way that not every wish could and should be granted to anyone. If people would only ask for the rules I would tell them, after all I am bound by contract to tell them at least that.\n\n\nAs my turn comes the doors shine and open before me. There is little for me to do as I am absorbed inside and find myself before the High Wish Council. The chamber in which i am is special, there is little light besides us, which we, as spirits, little balls of light shine upon this modest decorated room. Arcane runes scribbled all over the floor pulse with a golden color, forming a circle which keep the Genie powerless here. The room is similar to a courtroom, but with no wittiness here, just the 5 members all equally dressed in white robes with hundreds of golden inscribed runes on them. Though some of the members wear a hoodie over their head some prefer to show their face, though their ghostly faces and eerie blue eyes shine with a dazzling light, making it almost impossible to look at them.\n\n\n*\"On behalf of the High Wish Council I greet you Genie Mavekranovish.\"* says one of the council members. I can't figure out which since the sounds comes from every direction and until now almost every one of them sound exactly the same to me.\n\n\n*\"Genie Mavekranovish at your dispose High Council. May I know the purpose for this meeting?\"* I inquire with a casual voice. The Council members looks at each other silently and for a moment I thought my deeds had been discovered. But the words which came out of their mouth were unexpected and left me speechless.\n\n\n*\"It has come to our attention that one wish granted by you might have gone terribly awry\"* they say giving me shivers down my spine... if I had any. I start thinking about them for a moment, but there are simply too many of them to count which could have gone wrong, which is basically most of them. I have no idea which it could be so I start asking.\n\n\n*\"Which one of them might be?\"* I ask curiously. It is imperative that I find out what went wrong and put it back into it's rightful place.\n\n\n*\"Well regret to inform you, but a certain person, an old man was supposed to die. currently that guy is still living in the hospital. We have no idea what could have went wrong, but as long as all rules were respected and have not interfered with the natural way of the world, no disturbance should have been felt, but there is a slight disturbance in that world. I believe they call it Earth.* they reply while looking at me. Their gazes seem to burn through me, as if seeing into the very essence of my soul, but I know for a fact, I did not interfere with the natural way of that world.\n\n\n*\"Now that the world has been narrowed, can I have a name? I am the only one operating on Earth and it is a hurdle to remember all those names.\"* I keep grasping for more more information in order to find an explication.\n\n\n*\"Jay Green. Lost an arm and a leg in a war.\"* they say and a smile curves up my lips. I remember now, though probably not the best way to explain what could have went wrong so I try to ease my way out of this.\n\n\n*\"According to the contract I believe he asked me to his son, but his son died in a car accident so I could not grant his wish since it wasn't in accordance with the rules of Earth, specifically, resurrecting dead people so I gave placed him into a sleep with the memories of his son before he died. I would have told him that, but since it was his only wish I thought it wouldn't hurt for him to see his son one last time before he died, so I circumvented the rules and created a dreamworld for him\"* I reply, skidding away all the guilt i had. Apparently the Council had a little to debate, since they turned their heads to each other and spoke in whispers. After a while they replied back to me.\n\n\n*\"While we appreciate your kindness. We see now why the wish must be canceled. Please end the dream for him. Until next time!\"* they bid me farewell.",
"It isn't easy trying to 'port into the High Wish Council. One has to be summoned in order to even get within wishing distance of that place. But... then again, one would usually not wish to be summoned. As it meant you were in very serious trouble...\n\nI had gotten a summons from the High Wish Council regarding the retraction of one of my earlier wishes that I had granted. They wouldn't tell me which one, just that it was imperative I undo it, at any cost.\n\nI searched my memories for wishes I had granted. None of them really stood out, because, as far as wishes went, most of them tended to be weird or cliche anyways.\n\nWith a little puff of smoke, I managed to 'port right where the summons indicated - High Court 57 of the Retractions Department. Narrowly avoiding a fine of 30 years of granting kids wishes (commonly known as Santa duty) as I arrived just within the alotted time, I dusted off the leftover mist from my form.\n\n\"Leander, do you realize what events you have set into motion with this wish granted?\", boomed the High Court Judge Rhazin. It's amazing what can come out of such a tiny form. In reality, that booming voice originated from a tiny ethereal mass of only about a foot long, hovering right in the centre of the room. I felt like I was in a Wizard of Oz moment.\n\nRealizing I had yet to answer the question, I shook my head and replied, \"No, Your Honorable One.\"\n\n\"I need this wish to be retracted and fast! His wish is spiralling out of control. I have never seen such a wish evolve into this kinda of fiasco in all my 3,000 years of existence!\"\n\nIt was funny how agitated and imperious that little body could be, with the added contrast of that large booming voice. I would have laughed, had the situation not be so dire.\n\n\"Maybe this will refresh your memory...\"\n\nA fog appeared just in front of me, forming into roughly an oval-ish mass. Slowly, colours and shapes started swirling into a humanoid form, ultimately ending in a shape I came to recognize.\n\nAnd who could not forget that mop of hair (if you could call it that!), and that strangely tanned orange skin. \n\nIn all my 677 years, and many hundreds of thousands of wishes granted, I would DEFINITELY remember this one.\n\n\"I wish everyone in the World would know me, and that I be remembered even after I die\"\n\nIn the grand scheme of things, wishes - even somewhat specific wishes - could have a life of their own. That was the risk of having your wishes granted by a Djinn.\n\nAll I replied was, \"I GOT YOU, FAM.\"\n\nBefore he came to have his wish granted, he was just like any other human I had ever encountered.\n\n...but after that... well...\n\nLet's just say you would not forget it.\n\n\n\n",
"“Djinn Alder, do you understand why you are here before this council?”\n\nAlder swallowed his fear before breathlessly replying no.\n\n“No,” the echoed replied, distaste practically dripping off the word. “I wonder how this could be, Djinn Alder. Seeing as we continuously have to bring you here for the same infractions.”\n\nAlder said nothing, he continued to stare forward past the council at the wall, doing his best not to look intimidated. \n\n“You are here because you have ignored one of the most sacred statutes of our work.” There was a long pause, as if she expected him to be the one to volunteer what it was that statute was. “Ensuring we do not take away a mortal’s free will. Do you have anything to say for yourself?”\n\nAlder bit the inside of his cheek hard enough to draw blood, as he readied himself to reply. “I did it to improve the mortal’s quality of life. There is no harm don-”\n\n“No harm done?” Elder Zeron cut in, standing to her feet in outrage. “No. Harm. Done. Do you understand what you have done? What you stole from this woman? You have ripped away the very foundation of humanity from her. You have raped her of her free will. Of her ability to choose for herself. How dare you stand before us and proclaim you did not harm. You have done the most harmful thing that could be done to her.”\n\nAlder flinched despite his best effort and tried to calm his breathing.\n\n“You will undo the harm that you have caused this soul. You will unbind her from the compulsion you put her under.”\n\n“So that she can live her life in pain?” Alder challenged, his strong jaw set in determination. “So she can go through her life in physical and emotional agony? You want me to undo a spell that will make her life better? That will make her daughter’s life better?” His chest rose faster with each moment. “I will not. I made something right, and you are asking me to restore it to it’s wrongful state. I refuse and I accept the consequences that will come with it.”\n\n“You insolent fool,” Zeron said, baring her teeth as she came down from the council’s seats. “How dare you defy us. Defy the statutes put forth to us by the very gods that created us all.”\n\n“Do you think you are higher than the almighties?” she questioned, her face mere inches from his face. He could barely breathe let alone answer. “The very gods that watch over us do not allow themselves to interfere with mortal free will.”\n\nHe took a step back, shaking despite himself. “You don’t understand. She-”\n\n“She did not love that man!” Elder Zeron roared. “You had no right-none- to force her to!”\n\n“The men she does love are horrible,” Alder pleaded. His stomach felt as though there were snakes slithering around inside it, and the walls around him felt as though they were closing in, but he persisted. “I would go as far as to even say evil. She chooses men that are incapable of true love. Men that-”\n\n“And that is her choice,” another elder sighed quietly, standing to address him. “Free will comes at a price, Djinn Alder. A high price at times. We must honor the decisions the mortals make for themselves. If we don’t we tarnish our own souls.”\n\n“The mortal woman,” he continued, his kind gray eyes staring at him sympathetically “has a right to love who she chooses for herself. It’s tragic, but it’s right.”\n\nAdler shook his head, tears pricking in his eyes. “Don’t make me do this,” he begged tightly. “Please. Her daughter only wanted one thing. I tried to convince her to ask for something else. I tried,” he sobbed, embarrassed by his own emotion. “She just wanted her mother to love that man. And that man is a good man and- and he loves her. He loves the child too. Please. If I undo this she will marry the other and he will eventually kill them both. I know this in my very being. Please.”\n\n“We are aware of the child’s wish and situation,” the last elder of the council said gravely. “That does not change the oath we are to uphold. These boundaries are not always easy to abide by at times, but they are needed. You need to learn to abide by them, as we have learned to.” She closed her eyes solemnly and stood to rule. “We have brought you before us, Djinn Adler, to give you the opportunity to right the wrong yourself. Regardless of your decision we are able to unbind the mortal from her daughter's wish. The full council has agreed the wish may not stand and we are prepared to unbind it ourselves. We want you to succeed in your calling, but if you do not abide by this ruling we will strip you of your title and powers.”\n\n“You will also be outcasted into darkness,” Elder Zeron added. Her dark eyes held no understanding, no sympathy like the other council members. “We implore you to choose wisely. You can still do much good in this world. We do not wish to banish you or strip you from your powers.”\n\nHis heart dropped to his feet, but in the end he nodded. There really was no choice. He could feel the shift in the world as the spell was undone and he wrapped his arms around himself as he trembled. He hated himself, he almost felt like he deserved the darkness they threatened him with. \n\n“They were happy,” he sobbed, falling to his knees and trying to catch his breath. \n\n“It wasn’t real.”\n\n“Does that matter?” \n\nThere was a long pause. “Yes.”",
"\"As you wish, my master,\" I said, with a snap of my fingers. A smile worked its way across my new master's face. It was moments like these that I treasured as a genie. \n\nUnlike many of my genie brethren, I always tried to grant a wish in the spirit it was intended. The notion of punishing mortals with unintended consequences never held any appeal for me. Ours was a tremendous gift, and to use it cruelly seemed contrary to the nature of the power.\n\nI generally find myself alone in this feeling, though, so it was not a tremendous surprise that as I moved to return to my lamp, I felt a sudden pulling on my noise, and, with a puff of smoke, found myself before the High Wish Council. I found myself on the opposite end of a great, foggy pool from a dais which held the most powerful genies in all the realms. \n\n\"Genie Galori,\" boomed Olim, the leader of the council. \"You have been summoned before this council on a most urgent matter.\"\n\n\"How have I displeased you this time?\" I asked, expecting another scolding.\n\n\"You have altered the course of history,\" Olim responded stiffly.\n\n\"I beg your pardon, Olim, but every wish alters the course of history. A death. A windfall. A new title. Fame. Fortune. All of it changes the course of history. History has managed to adjust to our frequent interventions without issue.\"\n\n\"Not like this it won't. Look.\" Olim gestured to a blue skinned genie standing on the dais with him. The old crone floated toward the pool and, with a wave of her hand, caused an image to bubble forth.\n\n\"In twenty years time, humans, religious zealots claiming to represent the One True God, will pierce the veil that separates this realm from the mortal one. They will come to this place, and they will destroy us all,\" she said in a high pitched, cracking voice. The pool showed humans storming the High Wish Council chamber, firing bolts of energy from strange contraptions. Genies melted, screaming in agony.\n\n\"How am I responsible for this?\" I asked.\n\n\"Your most recent wish, Galori,\" Olim said, stepping to the pool. He waved his hand, and a new image bubbled to the surface. \n\nA young boy, probably no older than 11 or 12, ran into a garage, holding my lamp - he'd recently found it next to a dumpster. With excitement in his eyes, he gave it a rub, and I came billowing out. \n\n\"Mortal,\" I said, in my most impressive fashion, \"you have awoken me from my slumber, and are now my new master. You may make any three wishes you desire, but you must wish carefully.\"\n\nThe boy's eyes were as big as dinner plates as he gaped at me. \"Is this for real?\" he whispered.\n\n\"Yes, master, this is all quite real,\" I said with a smile. \"Take your time contemplating your wishes. Those who wish to quickly often wish they hadn't wished at all.\"\n\nThe boy's expression became serious, as he thought for a moment. \"I know what my first wish is,\" he said quietly.\n\n\"Then it shall be so, once you speak it.\"\n\n\"I wish for my sister to not be sick any more.\"\n\nI raised my eyebrows in surprise, before nodding approvingly. \"As you wish, my master,\" I said, with a snap of my fingers. A smile worked its way across the boy's face.\n\nThe image in the pool faded.\n\n\"She's just a little girl,\" I protested. \"How can you be certain that she will be responsible for this?\"\n\n\"It won't be her that leads the charge,\" Olim explained. \"It will be her father.\"\n\n\"Why?\" I asked incredulously. \"For what reason would he seek to destroy the power that saves his daughter's life.\"\n\nOlim again waved his hand, causing yet another image to appear in the pool. \"Right now that man and his wife are praying to the one they call the One True God to save their daughter from the illness that plagues her. They have refused all mortal medicines, insistent that their faith will heal their daughter. It will not. But your intervention will be proof enough for them. And for the followers the father attracts.\"\n\nI looked down into the pool, and saw the image of the father, dressed in priest's robes, lecturing before enormous crowds. He was expounding upon his personal connection to the Lord, and the healing power of faith.\n\n\"He will attract followers from around the globe. He will become wealthy, influential, and well-respected. So when his son, your master confesses to him 15 years from now, that a Genie saved his daughter's life, and he shows him your lamp, he will incite a holy crusade that will lead the humans to this realm. They will leave only destruction.\"\n\nThe room was silent as Olim's words sank in. \"What must be done, then?\" I asked finally.\n\n\"You must break your contract with the boy, and undo your wish.\"\n\n\"I can't-\"\n\nOlim raised a hand to silence me. \"We will do all we can to see to it you retain your powers.\"\n\n\"I don't care about that. I can't sentence a little innocent girl to die.\"\n\nOlim frowned. \"Then you sentence us all to die.\"\n\nI felt another tug at my nose, and in a puff of smoke I was back in the garage with the boy. \n\n\"Did it really work?\" he asked earnestly.\n\nThere had to be another way. Some other solution.\n\n\"Well did it?\" he asked again.\n\n\"Yes,\" I said. \"Only all too well. Take me to your father - I must speak with him.\"\n\n*****\n\nIf you liked this, subscribe to [Pubby's Creative Workshop](https://www.reddit.com/r/Pubby88) to read the rest of my prompt responses. \n\nEDIT: Based upon the amount of interest there's been in this, and that I had an idea for it, I went ahead and put up a [Part II](https://www.reddit.com/r/Pubby88/comments/5zk1vp/as_a_djinn_or_genie_you_have_granted_hundreds_of/dez1tmd/?st=j0bdol7f&sh=23f8246c) on my sub. "
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[WP] Your superpowers become stronger each day, lately nasty side effects have occured. Your power is devouring you.
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"It was discovered that I could heal at a very young age. I was sent to the Septemaron to be instructed by the High Priestess. \n\nBecause of my power, I was kept alone to contemplate the scripts of the Septemaron alone, to avoid the taint of the humanly world. Because of my power, I was lauded as a Saint, an artefact of the Septemaron to be paraded around on feast days behind a veiled palanquin.\n\nMy power grew in strength as I grew into a man. My power grew even when I stopped reading the scripts, claiming that I had achieved enough divine insight as a Saint. I was secluded under guard in the depths of the temple as my healing aura invaded the land far and wide. \n\nI was alone, because of my power. \n\nOne day, I was visited by the Emperor. His Majesty asked me to restrict my healing to his lands, for my aura was preventing a conclusive battle on the borders to the west. I did as he asked, restricting my aura as far as I could but it felt strange and wrong, as if I was a wineskin packed with too much new wine. Still, I had to hold out, for as long as the war raged on. \n\nI did not sleep for a long time. I could not walk or eat for some time as I focused completely on restraining my ever growing power. Eventually I fainted in the halls of the Septemaron and I dreamt of a deep, dark night. \n\nI dreamt of the blue fires of my healing aura, the flames that only I could see. Like water, it trickled into the ground as I attempted to withdraw it from the surface of the earth. Deeper and deeper my power sank until it wrapped into rotted flesh and bone. \n\nMy power grew as I held it back, breaching the threshold of life and death. \n\nThe dead rose from their graves in multitudes. They were hungry, as most were after my healing cleansed those with grave afflictions. The dead rose with a hunger that could never be quenched. My power was too strong to hold back by now and as I slept for days at a time, the world was overrun by the innumerable dead. \n\nMy power soothed me in my sleep, blue fires burning away my fatigue and my troubled spirit. \n\nI was alone when I woke up at last to an empty Septemaron. I emerged from my chambers and made my way down bloodied, empty halls until I reached the steps of the Septemaron, overlooking the vast city of the King.\n\nThe undead horde massing in the broken ruins drew near to my presence. They could taste my aura in the air, they mutated into increasingly powerful monstrosities of every variety as I grew nearer. \n\nI knew what my fate was then. I was to be devoured even as I healed, I was to be a Saint, no, a deity of the undead. \n\nI was to be eaten, because of this cursed power. \n\nI was eaten for a long time. My skin and flesh ripped apart under ravenous jaws. My skull bouncing against the steps of the temple as searching claws grasped my eyes. My healing aura grew more powerful still, regenerating what was lost and I stopped screaming after a while.\n\nAs the days went by, I began to notice that the undead were growing less so. Muscle filled out across sunken cheeks, clouded eyes grew dark and sometimes I saw hints of thought behind an empty veil. \n\nEventually, I was eaten no longer. The first of those who had feasted of me, approached me with a question in their eyes. \n\n\"Who are we?\" they asked, \"Who are you?\" \n\n\"I am a Saint of the Septemaron,\" I said, \"You have been cursed with eternal death. Prithee dispose of me, that I may trouble this world no longer.\" \n\n\"You are a Saint,\" they said, \"You are our creator. You will not leave us alone, will you?\" \n\nI nodded after a long moment as my body healed itself again. \n\n\"I will help you in any way I can.\" "
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[WP] The Universe is deleted. God wants to play another game. However, God's curious younger sister restores it from the recycle bin.
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"She sat bored in the non-space between non-time. Her brother had just achieved a successful elevation to higher status among the demispherem leaving her with no one to talk to. I mean, who could she talk to like herself when as far as she knew there was no other?\n\nShe found the file in his recycle bin. The only one he had not deleted. It was pretty close to a singularity that would have done it for him given a little more non-time. She looked at it curiously. It was definitely a reality file, she could see that, but what did it do?\n\nShe inserted the file into the Firmament and watched as words appeared:\n\n***Boot Universe Version 2.9 Y/N?***\n\nShe hit ***Y*** and watched the universe that her older brother had designed coalesce into a small island of time and space suspended in something she wasn't sure what it was. Is this what he had been working on? She smirked and touched the small expanding sphere willing herself somewhere interesting.\n\nShe stood in the middle of rush hour traffic in Manhattan. Horns blared, people jostled her, and she heard the cacophony of voices and music and a thousand other sensations. People looked down at her but she was just a small oddity among an ocean of oddities. This was AMAZING! No wonder her brother had ascended. More importantly, she was no longer bored.\n\nShe would get to the bottom of this. She chose a mind and tried to read it so she could absorb all the information she could. Blocked. What in the? She tried another mind. Blocked. Why would her brother do that. Then she understood. These were autonomous beings he had created to go about their business, their thoughts private. \n\n\"Little girl,\" a voice asked and she looked up into the eyes of a Police Officer, \"Are you lost?\" She understood the language perfectly. Of course she did.\n\n\"No sir,\" She replied, shooting him a smile as she looked around. She was wondering how much she could affect the world around her. She chose a person at random. A young woman carrying groceries and shoved her into the path of a moving car. People screamed as the body thudded off the windshield, bags of produce and bread landing on the pavement next to her twisted body. The taxi driver had stopped and the police officer that had been by her side said, \"Jesus!\" and ran to the scene of the accident, yelling into his radio.\n\nShe laughed as she came to the scene. This was fun and exciting. Then she felt it and it didn't seem so fun anymore. These people weren't immortal. There was a wave of sadness and loss emanating from those around her and she felt lost in it. The notion of death entered her mind and she gasped. Why would her brother make a universe with something as stupid as that?\n\n\"Reverse time,\" she told the program running the universe.\n\n\"***Time cannot be reversed,***\" the program answered, recognizing her as a user, \"***It can only move forward.***\"\n\n\"I want to bring her back to life!\" She yelled at the program, drawing the stares of some of those around her.\n\n\"***You have enough tokens to revive one dead person at this time. This cannot be reset.***\" the program said, \"***Would you like to use the token? Y/N?***\"\n\n\"What kind of crazy system did He set up?\" She yelled, getting angry. The clouds darkened dangerously as her anger rose. Lightning struck a nearby building and she forced herself to calm down. She only had one token. She clicked ***Y*** and smiled as the young woman sat up, unharmed, the only bruised and broken things now spread out across the concrete from her grocery bags. People were whispering about a miracle.\n\n\"So this is all random?\" she asked the program, trying to understand.\n\n\"***There is a set level of randomness inherent within this universe,***\" the program answered her query, \"***But it is also a well balanced system where one event creates another and so on.***\" \n\n\"Bullshit is what it is.\" She said, not knowing until she said it what either a bull or shit was. She laughed at the image then wrinkled her nose, \"You said I have only one token.\"\n\n\"***Yes. One free token is bestowed upon a user upon entering the System.***\" the program said.\n\n\"How do I earn more?\" She asked, her eyebrows shooting up in eagerness.\n\n\"***Data unavailable.***\" the program wrote in the air before her.\n\n\"Don't you give me that!\" Her anger rose again, \"I can destroy this program and you with it.\"\n\n\"***Fate acceptable.***\" the program answered and she sighed, \"***Permission must be granted for access to Help Files.***\"\n\n\"Permission from my brother?\" She thought that was now highly unlikely since He had ascended to wherever their kind went, \"That will never happen.\"\n\nAs she watched the sun begin to set over the city she realized that she was having fun for the first time in an eternity of non-time. Her brother had left her a playground to run around in. She'd just have to be careful not to break anything while she learned the rules of the game."
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Wow, I guess there actually WAS a hostage situation perpetrated by lions with clown make-up.
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[WP] You come up with an outlandish and false excuse as to why you are late, and your date is very suspicious. You are almost called out on your lie when a news story blows up and unintentionally confirms your story.
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"The look on her face made me feel horrible, but there was no way around it. The last year had been rough after the Lane incident. That girl destroyed any of the confidence Shirley had in our relationship. That being said, I deserved some blame too.\n\n\"So.\" Shirley began. She looked terribly intimidating like that, under the streetlight. She'd told the cab she'd call back if I ever showed up, but even when I did, she demanded an explanation first.\n\n\"What you're telling me, is this. You're telling me you're late because a busful of strippers hit your bike. You're telling me the strippers invited you onto their bus, refused to take no for an answer. Then they forced you on the bus. They spilt their hooker booze all over you, none of which you drank. You barely escaped at a red light, and while trying to squeeze out the door, one of stripper's faces accidentally rubbed your collar, resulting in an imprint of lipstick resembling lips. Then, once you escaped, the bus accidentally drove halfway off a bridge.\n\n\"Then, in a feat of desperate courage, you got on the bus and started helping the strippers off. Like in that Spiderman movie. And the last stripper barely grabbed onto your hand before the bus tumbled into the Hudson, and you two were pulled up by cops.\n\n\"And *then*, after all of this, the first responders were called to a bank robbery in Midtown, and couldn't give you a ride. And all the cabs were busy, presumably with couples who had met each other on time, so you couldn't take a cab, and you had to call your ex Cindy, who you broke up with you after dating for three years to give you a ride. Who dropped you off a block away, and who you know I saw leaving, which presumably is not the reason you mentioned her.\"\n\nI gulped. The kind that people around you can hear.\n\n\"Yeah. Like that.\"\n\nObviously, I went home alone that night.\n\nBut it didn't end there. The next morning it was all over the news. I felt a little tug at my heartstrings when the stripper I saved, who was only nineteen, talked about how she wished she could have introduced me to her family before I left. The others were interviewed as a group, mainly focusing on how I had refused to party with them because I didn't want to offend my date.\n\nWhat really made the report was Cindy's interview, however, who related how she had given me a ride home and returned to the scene of the accident to see it for herself.\n\nI was smiling, pleased with myself, when my cell rang. Shirley.\n\n\"Yeah?\"\n\n*It's all over the news. I'm sorry Rob. I hope you get why I was skeptical.*\n\nSkeptical was putting it lightly.\n\n\"Yeah, I get it. How about we meet tonight and make up for lost time? We can call that cab.\"\n\n*Sure, Rob. Oh, by the way, you're still signed into Google on my computer. Maybe before we go out tonight, you can* **HELP LANE SCRATCH HER FUCK-ITCH! HOW ABOUT THAT, ROB.**\n\n*Click. Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep*\n\nOkay, I deserved all the blame.",
"\"A meteorite? a stinking hunk of space rock? I'm supposed to believe that a meteorite crushed your car and not only that but your neighbors fought you for the rock and punched the taxi driver and that you ran the whole way here?\" He asked me.\n\"Yes\" said I\n\"I'm leaving.\" said he\nThe whole restaurant had their eyes on us. The melodrama was palpable. I wiped the sweat from my eyes and rose with him. He turned dramatically and my eyes dropped. I only heard his footsteps and a muttering about respect.\nAt the door Melvin collided with a man in a slouch cap and green trousers.\n\"You\" the man shouted across the room. \"You owe me twenty four fifty\"\nI guess the situation for taxis is bad enough where they'll chase down a customer. Underneath the cap one eye was black and the other was blinking rapidly.\n\nOut the door I saw Melvin arguing with one of my neighbors. Behind the pair my other neighbor was bolting down the street with a TV news crew. The first neighbor backed off into the street where both neighbors and TV news crew were smashed into gore by a wave of space rocks. Melvin turned to me with guilt in his eyes and was promptly squished flatter than a pancake by a something moving from the sky faster than my eye could follow.\n\nI shrugged, it was better than admitting I missed the bus and now I didn't have to try to keep a lie going. I motioned to a dumb struck waiter, that is when the afternoon started to get interesting.",
"\"I'm telling you Rebecca, there was an octopus on the bridge. There wasn't anything I could do\". I said as I pulled out my chair.\n\nHer cheeks were flushed red, her foot tapping, arms folded and and she looked away from me. \"Come on, don't be like that\". I said. I reached out for the bottle of wine and poured us both a healthy glass.\n\n\"You know Todd, I'm really sick of your shi...\". Her voice trailed off as a crowd of people scurried from their tables and into the bar. Glasses and silverware clattered in the hurry.\n\n\"Hey turn that up\". A mans voice said. \"Yeah, we can't hear it\"! A second followed. \"Maybe if you'd all just SHUT UP\". A scruffy, tough looking older man decreed. A hush fell over the room. I saw the neon green volume lines adjust to their highest setting. \n\n\"It is still unknown why at this time\". The news anchors dull and over pronouncing voice stated flatly. \"The dark shadow had been seen and reported by fishermen in deeper waters for several days now. It was initially believed to have been a school of whale by the Coast Guard. As we can see from this footage that approximation was incorrect\". \n\nBecca and I sat at the table, looking on, trying to see over the heads of the people crowding the televisions. Grainy, dark footage of someone running popped up on the screen. A muffled voice could be heard but words were nearly indiscernible. The camera peered over the edge of the bridge railing. It was out of focus at first but then, like a strike of lighting a massive pad laden tentacle burst from the ocean surface. \n\nIt slammed into the barrier of the overpass with such force that it knocked the camera person to the ground. The concussive blast sent the recording device sliding and bouncing across the asphalt. Several terrified screams and concerned voices could be heard from both the continued recording and the people in the restaurant. \n\n\"Rebecca, I have to\". Her gaze turned from the TV and she fixated on me. \"I can't believe you were caught up in that Todd. I would have.. I mean, I would have run for my life! Coming to dinner would have been my last thought at that point\". She said, she laced her fingers in mine. \"Yeah. Yeah\". I stammered sheepishly. \"Hey, we should get out of here. We have no idea what's going to happen with this thing\". I said. I looked around and saw that the restaurant had pretty much cleared out. \n\nA large flash of light from behind us interrupted our hasty conversation. An indescribable boom shook the building. Dust tumbled for the rafters, tables tipped over and from somewhere on the other side of the dining room I heard glass shatter and fall to the floor. \"We gotta go NOW\"! I yelled, grabbing Rebecca by the arm.\n\nWe ran out into the parking lot, dodging a falling street light. A spray of sparks exploded next to us and Rebecca screamed. I covered her with my jacket and we pushed on toward my car. We jumped in, slammed the doors and headed up toward the highway. As I looked in the rear view mirror I saw an enormous creature crushing buildings, laying waste to neighborhoods and tossing cars like rag dolls. I couldn't help but feel partially responsible for this but... it had to just be a coincidence.. right?!"
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[WP] "I'm terribly sorry, but I'm afraid the protagonist of this story is dead!"
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"Yeah, sorry about that. Ok, look, I swear this was not my intention. I WAS trying to get the hero to face hilarious odds, and win, but sometimes stories get out of control. If it helps, I have the hero a laser Gatling gun. But of course, I can never do it right. I step away to answer a phone call from my girlfriend for one minute, and I turn back to find the hero's fedora sitting on the ground no, still smoking. The henchmen look more surprised than me. The hero's crush runs over, and says out loud, \"What-huh? Thanks, author.\" Hey, I was taking a phone call. \"I didn't do it!\" \"We're well aware of that.... Mr. Anderson.\" Whatever. I'm gonna go get the backup of the story. He should be there. Side note, anyone for lunch? \"Fine by me.\" \"Oh, look who's back!\" This is why I hate this story.",
"Dying is a strange feeling, I reflect as I crawled along the top of the freight train. Lots of people mention being cold in fiction, or numb, or something along those lines. Some mention regret, or being content, or how it just kinda sucks.\n\nIt's definitely the last one, in hindsight.\n\nWell, there are upsides. Great excuse to be hammy. Keeps me from feeling things that especially suck. Like the branch that just hit me in the face. I'd say 'ouch' for the principle of it, but I kinda outgrew that line of thinking.\n\nI shake my head. No time to be distracted, I'm on a mission!\n\nI pull myself up the fifty or so feet I fell when I got hit by the branch. Slowly, mind you. Climbing trains isn't an easy ordeal.\n\nAnything to sabotage the Baron though. I'm grinning. I probably look like a psycho right now.\n\nAnyways! This is a prison transport. A pretty bad one, mind you. There was only, like, two escorts for this thing. Most low-tier prison trains don't have great security, mind you, and this one is transporting a pacifist, but come on! I thought the evil warlord would be more cunning than this!\n\nOh hey, I'm at the cell car. I lean over the left side, and peer down at the car door. Laurence said to pop the charge by the hinges. Don't wanna screw it up on. I slap the sucker right by the side of the door, tucking the fuse into my back pocket. I crawl to the other end of the cart. I'm so glad I don't get cold.\n\nI grab onto the edge of the car and hop over the edge, hanging on by my hands. I tap into the side of the train silently. Real sneaky, y'know. Oh, wait, I'm rambling. I'd apologize, but at this point, I don't really care. \n\nI pull the fuse out of my pocket, then strike it against the side of the car. I watch as it lights, and the fire travels up the line like a bright wildfire coursing through a straw city and disappears over the edge.\n\nShow time.\n\nThe bang shakes the cart. I hear a lot of shouting, a couple screams, and one old man snoring. Louder than my grandpa was, I swear.\n\nI grab the handle on my side, and drag the door open. The guards are all aiming their blunderbusses and repeaters at the other side. No matter.\n\nI reach into my pocket and pull out my scrappy little revolver. I'd say it served me well, but it really hasn't. I bought it a week ago for thirty bucks and a glass of whiskey. \n\nThe bullet smaller than whatever's left of my liver after a loss of cellular regeneration and habitual chugging of bad alcohol flies from the barrel. the first guard takes the hit with a simple step back, firing a barrel full of nails and debris at my chest. \n\nI blink. \n\nHe jumps at me, knife in hand. His fist smashes into my wrist, and my gun clatters to the floor. And then he tries to stab me.\n\nThis gets really annoying after the fiftieth time.\n\nI duck under his first swipe, block his second, and smash my head into his nose before he makes a third attempt. The second guard lifts his gun, and I rush him. A fist to the face and knee to the ribs gets him on the ground, but mook number one grabs my hair and drags me back. \n\nI twist, and punch him in the solar plexis. He doesn't go down. I'll give him credit, he knows how to take a beating.\n\nHe grabs at my throat, stabbing at my face. I push my foot between us, then shove.\n\nHe falls out of the car.\n\nThe other guard stared at me wide-eyed. from his spot on the floor, breathing heavily. I wink at him. \n\nHis hand comes up, brandishing his repeater. I sighed. \"Well, so much for nonlethal.\" I twist to the left, a bullet whistling through where my shoulder last was. I jump to the right, throwing his aim off again. He's up now, and dumbly shoves his gun at my face like some posturing twelve year old with a switchblade and an ego. \n\nI duck beneath the gun, before grabbing his arm and pulling it down onto my shoulder hard. I hear a crunch, and drop his arm. He goes down, but reaches for his gun with his intact arm. I scoop my gun off the ground and shoot him four times. He drops to the ground. \"Laurence is gonna kill me.\"\n\nI try to shoot the last bullet. It doesn't leave the barrel.\n\nI should've bought the Colt.\n\n\"Wh-who are you?\"\n\nI turn around. The old pacifist I never bothered to learn the name of sits in the chair. He leans heavily on a cane, and his wizened beard is longer than my leg. Why there are shackles wider than my forearm holding him down, U've got no clue. His eyes are wide, and he tries to put as much distance between me and him as possible.\n\n\"I'm your savior.\" I put on my most diplomatic smile. He cringes, and I frown in return. \"Sorry, my boss doesn't give me dental. Or health insurance.\"\n\n\"Buy you just killed them!\"\n\n\"Sorry sir. It was an accident.\"\n\nHis bug eyed face was getting on my nerves. \"Killing is a sin! You'll be damned to hell!\"\n\n\"I think I'm exempt from that rule. I'm kinda dead, you see.\"\n\n\"You're undead?\"\n\nOh, this sonova- no, no, calm down. Explain it calmly to him, he doesn't know.\n\n\"No, I'm dead. I got shot eighty eight times in the torso and twice in the leg. That isn't alive, that isn't 'undead'-\" I made quotation marks with my fingers- \"it's just dead.\"\n\n\"Then how are you here?\" How a man could look so damn smug by simply asking basic questions? While scared to death?\n\n\"I got better.\"\n\n\"You don't get better from being dead, son.\"\n\n\"Shut up, you don't know me.\"\n\nYeah. Being dead sucks.",
"Stop reading here. I'm very serious. You should stop reading here.\n\nReally?\n\nSince you persist on forging ahead, I must give you one warning... well two if we're splitting hairs.\n\n1) This story has no happy ending.\n\n2) The protagonist of this story is very dead. No miracles here. No magic potions, no scientific experiment. She is dead. Two bullets to the chest will do that to a person. Do not get attached to this main character\n\nStill reading are we? Fair enough. You've been warned.\n\n-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\nAmanda Puller (April 5th 1997-August 19th 2018) was not the girl of Prophecy. She was best friends with the girl of Prophecy. This exposed to her all sorts of risk due to her hometown of Seattle being a nexus of undead activity.\n\nAt the time of our story, Amanda was sparring with the Prophecy girl in question. She was a perky blonde girl named Jess. Jess despised comparisons to a certain miss Buffy Summers for obvious reasons.\n\n\nThey broke after a particularly vicious bout, both girls panting. Jess tossed aside a splintered Bo staff. Amanda took a second longer to stare at what was left of her own weapon.\n\n\"This super strength thing is scary.\" She laughed. \n\n\"I barely notice it anymore.\" Jess said \n\n\"You threw a demon through an entire building last week.\" Amanda stared a moment. (The unfortunate assistant bank manager was fired shortly after trying to explain the large hole to his boss.)\n\n\"Well...maybe I'm used to it.\"\n\n\"Sure. Superwoman.\" Amanda smirked. They were about to start training with blades (Gladius, followed by English Longsword.), when a knock on the door of their gym stopped them. \n\nJess hefted a gladius and carefully peered outside. Her shoulders tensed but she didn't move to fight anything outside. She returned bearing an ornate dagger and a piece of rolled up parchment.\n\n\"Another one?\" Amanda asked.(Daggers pinning notes to various surfaces had become a rather frequent occurrence in our duos lives. They had acquired quite the collection of ceremonial daggers.)\n\n\"This uh...this ones for you.\" Jess was not amused.\n\n\"Wait what?\"\n\n\"Read it.\" \n\n*Ms. Amanda Puller*\n\n*It has recently come to our attention that you were left of our roster for a few years. Legacy status comes with many benefits that we would love to discuss in person. If you wish to meet with your local representative, he will be in Delancey Park at 10:04 PM exactly.*\n\n*Best Wishes*\n\n*Kazar Duhn, Record Keeper, Assassins Guild*\n\n\"This has gotta be a mix up.\" She said. \n\n\"When are we that lucky?\" Jess asked. Amanda opened her mouth to talk but fell silent.\n\nJess smirked and said \"My point exactly. I'm going with you. It'll be nice to not have people after ME for once.\n\n",
"Well, I guess that's it then. The guy's dead. Ya know, the odds were pretty stacked against him. Some teenage farm boy was supposed to topple an evil magician who's been ruling the land since he was born? Remember when he got the call to action from that elderly magician? He was like, \"Whoa dude, I think you got the wrong kid. I'm just a simple farm boy. I can't learn magic and topple the evil warlock who rules with an iron first over our realm.\" But that old fart talked the poor kid into training to do just that. Such a shame. Looking back, I'm pretty sure he *was* the wrong kid and seriously, he only trained for like a week. I know he was sort of getting the hang of it, but c'mon, the evil guy has been like a master magician for like 100 years or something unnatural like that. Also, the farm kid's sidekick was a talking bird, nothing more. That ain't gonna help. Yeah, this whole plan was doomed from the start. I'll put some of the blame on me I suppose. I am the one dictating what's going on. I could have had some sort of meta moment where I told the kid that he needs to train for like *at least* a year or give up or even since I'm third person omniscient, I could have even told him about the evil dude's greatest weaknesses or something. Oh well. Hey, sorry everyone. I thought we had a good story going up until this point, but I didn't 100% expect our boy to get vaporized as soon as he set foot within city limits. I'm sure there's another hero destined to take this guy down. We'll hop on that train as soon as I figure out who it is and follow their life.",
"Oh dear. Oh dearie me.\n\nYou're here to read, aren't you? That's not... I'm afraid this isn't going to be pleasant. The main character is... Well, dead. I know, that doesn't usually happen *before* the story begins, but here we are.\n\nNow, I know what you're thinking. The author has gone all meta-textual and is breaking the fourth wall (which, in a book, doesn't necessarily exist *ever*, by the way, not that you're interested), and to this I must say \"let me stop you right there\". Let me stop you right there. The author is in tears. And surely, you understand why, not that *you* have ever spent years creating a character, with hopes and dreams and feelings and a sense of smell, only to have them die just as the story is about to start!\n\nSo you can take your cynical meta-awareness and shove it. We're grieving, here, for a character whose life, if told, would have proven more interesting than yours by at least 35 miles. Close this book, put it back wherever you found it, and go do something else.\n\nStill here? \n\nOh very well. I suppose you might as well see what's left. It's a really character-heavy story, mind you, and everyone is gone; once the main character leaves, the gig is pretty much over for everyone, but we've still got the sets. Follow me. This is the train station from Chapter 5; we had a bit of an action scene here, where the main character had to run away from the bad guys, and then got inside the train to meet the love interest. Let's see... Ah yes, there. The MacGuffin is in this briefcase here.\n\nAnd over here is the pool. We had a death planned here, and everything. Not the big bad, of course; that happens on the yacht, in the storm. It would have been so brilliant, too. See, in the script, the main character and the villain find out that they've been looking for two completely different things, and it turns out that the love interest... Well, never mind that now. I really have to go and deal with the author, it's a complete meltdown over there. \n\nFeel free to look at the MacGuffin, it's a beautiful piece."
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[WP] One day, all terrorism suddenly ceases. Government officials are baffled. But you know exactly what is going on.
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"\"Don't worry. I know exactly what is happening,\" said the young smiling specialist with the large briefcase after entering the meeting of various government officials and world threat evaluation specialists, \"I have just returned from a tour of the various trouble spots; Syria, UAE, Saudi Arabia, and so forth. And well, I'm pleased to be the bearer of both good news and not so good news.\"\n\n\n\"Alright,\" said one of the generals, \"You know why there hasn't been any sign from any of the terrorism cells we're monitoring in the last month or so? I imagine that is the good news?\"\n\n\n\"Correct,\" said the young smiling specialist as he placed the briefcase in front of him and started dialing the lock combination, \"The good news is that there will be no more terrorism from now on. Every violent fanatic and discontent has decided there terrorism is a futile waste of resources and are now worried about other things.\"\n\n\nThere was a brief moment when everyone at the meeting started to talk over each other, asking for more information. The young smiling specialist merely held up a hand until everyone quieted down. \n\n\nExcept the general who spoke last, \"So what is this new thing those bastards are worried about?\"\n\n\n\"Well, that's the bad news. Have you ever heard of the Australian Jumping Brain Control Spider before?\" The young smiling specialist's smile didn't falter as he slowly opened his briefcase, letting forth the writhing mass of legs and arachnid exoskeletons explode from the interior. \n\n\nThere was a brief moment of pandemonium, and then everyone at the meeting was smiling. ",
"\"I told you it would work\"\n\n\"Yeah, I get it. You ended war as we know it. Are you sure there won't be any side effects?\"\n\n\"Shouldn't be. All I did was make it so that the atomic structure of gunpowder was no longer explosive.\"\n\n\"I get the feeling that there may be side effects to that.\"\n\n\"Whatever, lets go celebrate and get dinner.\"\n\n----------------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\n\"Why won't the car start?\"\n\n\"No idea, its trying its best to. Damn thing wont' catch.\"\n\n\"Wait... let me try something.\"\n\n----------------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\n\"If this doesn't work I will be so mad at you.\"\n\n\"Yeah, I thought I just targeted gunpowder with the machine.\" \n\nI grabbed a match, lit it and threw it into the gas canister. It fizzled out as it made contact with the liquid in the container.\n\n\"So, I may have accidentally made it so carbon fuels no longer work...\"",
"Allah, wearing nothing more than a red, white, and blue thong, stepped out from behind the curtain. \n\"Does this look good on me?\" he said, posing with his arms akimbo. \nI studied his rippling, muscular form for a moment. \n\"Yeah,\" I said, \"looks great.\" \n\"Awesome, bro.\" \nI strode across the room, to the full body mirror, to check out my own neon green thong. I modelled for several seconds, sucking my gut in, pushing my chest out, flexing my arms. \n\"You ready to mack on some bitches, bro?\" said Allah, jiggling his bulge. \n\"Fuck yeah, man.\" \nWe left the room and walked down to the beach that stretched for miles before the hotel in which we were staying, down to that dry space of land at the meeting point between the tides and the sand, where we set out our umbrella and our towels, and lay down to soak up some sun and, if the day was good to us and the women were plentiful, pick up a couple of chicks, some scantily clad women perfectly accepting of our sexual desires. \nResting on my towel, with my sunglasses on and my Bluetooth speaker playing Skrillex, I glanced over at Allah and noticed him swiping right on Tinder, matching with both golden skinned blondes with shapely figures, and with pale women with acne and the beginnings of thin moustaches. \n\"So, seriously, bro,\" I said, \"why'd you give up on the diety game? Sounded like a pretty sweet gig to me.\" \n\"Bro, I'm packing ten inches. I'm not down to be some god of celibacy with a million virgins hanging around. That's just not me. So, I called it quits, moved to Cali, and the rest is history.\" \n\"Wow, so you're just, like, out to hit...\" \n\"I love that song,\" said a tall brunette with enormous boobs. \n\"Fuck yeah,\" said Allah, \"I love this song. You want sit down and have a cold one with me?\" \nAllah held up two bottles of Mike's Hard Lemonade. \n\"Sure,\" said the brunette, smiling.\nShe sat down and Allah began talking to her about this rave he went to the other day. "
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[WP] "Antarctica" is an ancient word meaning "terrible evil". You are part of a research team who just discovered why
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"The snows and ice didn't usually melt this far down.. that's why this team was sanctioned. See if anything new could be discovered about the impact of our society on the environment of the poles and in turn, the rest of the world. This, though? Out of my realm of reason. Beside me was all my colleagues and below me, the ice was showered with snow, drifting with the harsh wind that roared. I looked to my left and right, met by equally puzzled faces. In front of my feet was the maw of a great beast, one tooth of many sticking from the ice. I looked at the head and neck of the animal.. not one I have ever seen before. It looked reptilian and massive by the size of its head. Almost like a.. \n\nThe wind blew harder and the snow whipped away where we were standing. Beneath us, we could see clear beneath the ice. Like a dragon. Beneath the first, massive and menacing, was others - each deeper and further than the last. Around their necks were chains and other adornments and I crouched down to inspect closer. My colleagues began to backpedal away. I reached a finger slowly down and probed the tooth that stood out. White steam reacted, the nose of the creature flaring as the ice covering its maw sunk a little lower. I staggered back, falling to my backside and wading backward on all fours. Two teeth, now. I got up and ran as fast as I could, the others already long gone.\n\n--\n(Goes with some other posts I made recently.)",
"The rookery of penguins in the distance stood in a sharp contrast to the otherwise blinding whiteness that enveloped the research team. They had been moving towards the way-point on cross-country skis, struggling through the windswept and desolate environment. The blowing snow nipped at any exposed skin, slicing like tiny razor blades. At first, it had been unbearable, but after three days his now beet-red skin had seemed to develop some sort of tolerance. He motioned for his team to follow him behind a peak of snow, providing them with a brief reprieve from the incessant wind. \n\n‘Okay, we’re only 500 meters out from the site now but the sun is beginning to set,’ he started. ‘Set up your tents while there’s still daylight and we’ll make out move tonight.’\n\nThe team had been dispatched from the McMurdo research station at the south tip of Ross Island to investigate an unexplained tremor that was being picked up by the National Science Foundation analysts who were monitoring geophysical scales in the area. Tremors themselves were generally not a cause for alarm. The ice shelf was beginning to separate and the scales picked up subtle tremors relatively frequently. This one, however, was different. It came across the monitor as a series of waves, cycling with an eerie consistency. A pulse, of sorts. \n\nThe analysts had run through the typical causes – geothermic eruptions, general tremors caused by the melting ice caps, technical error in the instrument that measured the tremors – only to come to the conclusion that they had never seen anything like it before. The analysts identified the epicenter and requested that the research team set off and try to provide some insight into the inexplicable phenomenon. \n\nHenry set up his tent with an expert efficiency. This was his second tour at the McMurdo research station. Two years prior, he had spent the winter at the station researching the impact that climate change was having on the mating of King Penguins in the area as part of his PhD thesis. He had spent weeks outside the station, living off coffee and granola bars in his comfortable Sierra Design tent. He had grown accustomed to surviving in the otherwise inhospitable environment. \n\nAfter the tent was erected, he put a kettle on his small, propane burner and invited the rest of his team in for a quick briefing. They were a eclectic bunch, drawn from the Environmental Studies classes he taught at Stanford. This was their first time in Antarctica, most were working on their Masters’ thesis, but they had been quick learners. Other than the occasional complaint about the blisters from their ski boots, they had been comfortable with everything that was thrown at them. \n\nAs they gathered around in the cramped four-person tent, he began to outline the plan for the evening. They were pressed for time; a storm was supposed to begin blowing in over the next few days and so he did not want to wait until the morning to begin their investigation. Every minute counted. They would move in on skis, their headlamps providing the necessary light. They had little information about what to expect, other than a grainy picture from a research drone that Henry had reviewed before they set out. It appeared that there was some sort of small crater in the snow. He was not able to make out what exactly had caused the crater, nor the depth of the crater, so he instructed his team to approach it cautiously. If it was too deep to see clearly, he would rappel down with their aid in order to inspect further.\n\nAfter he was comfortable that they understood, he began to prepare his gear for the expedition. He swapped out his plush, Canada Goose jacket for a more finer overcoat. It wouldn’t protect him from the cold as well, but it was thinner and he could move more freely in it. He snapped his headlamp onto his helmet and removed his thick mitts in favor of a pair of fine gloves. If he needed to rappel, the mitts would be too bulky to do so safely. \n\nOnce the rest of his team was ready, the began to move out.\n\nThe sun had now set over the horizon. The complete lack of light pollution in the area made the night a beautiful spectacle, bright stars scattered across the sky and the dim, green glow of Aurora Australis dancing in the distance. \n\nHenry’s headlamp lit up the area in front of him as they moved towards the way-point on his GPS device. Suddenly, Henry could make out a distinct lip rising from the snow. The edge of the crater, he realized. He instructed his team to move forward on foot from this point on. \n\nAs they approached the edge, Henry began to get a better look at the area. It didn’t appear to be an ordinary crater, but rather looked as though someone had dropped an extremely hot stone onto the surface of the snow. It resembled more of a hole or a pit, the circumference a seemingly perfect circle. He moved closer and peered down but the light from his headlamp failed to illuminate the bottom. He could feel the tremor under his ski boots, pulsating every few seconds.\n\n‘Pass me one of my poles,’ he instructed one of his students. ‘Quiet.’ \n\nHe approached the lip of the hole and let his ski pole fall down to the bottom. \n\n*One* – \n\nHe heard the pole land with a thud. It couldn’t be that deep, he realized. With that, he began to weigh his options. He had no idea what was at the bottom of the pit, but if they were going to find out, it would have to be now. There was a risk, no doubt. But the pit wasn’t deep enough to be some type of thermal fissure, nor did it resemble one. Not only that, but if he couldn’t come to a conclusion tonight, they would have the scrap the expedition and try again later. His curiosity began to get the better of him and he instructed his students to prepare his carabiners.\n\nAttaching the thick line to his hip, he leaned back over the pit and began to slowly rappel down, a student feeding him slack from above. Looking over his shoulder, the bottom began to come into sight. Nothing appeared to be out of the ordinary. However, as stepped down into the white powdery snow, the pulses became jarring. They shook him with a tremendous force, vibrating him to the bone. \n\nHe moved around slowly, trying to determine the cause of the tremors. As he examined the base of the pit, his toe brushed up against something firm underneath the layer of powdery snow. Excited, he began to brush the soft snow away, unveiling a oval shaped stone nestled into the ice below. He took a knife from his belt and chipped away, freeing the stone from the ice. \n\nIt felt warm in his hands and he noticed that the vibrations had stopped. It was unlike any other stone he had seen before. The surface was lined with small indentations and a rough skin-like material. A thick strand of gold ran from tip to tip. He stared at it, mesmerized. Suddenly, it began to pulsate again, starling him as he dropped it to the ground. It bounced off the firm plastic toe of his ski boot and rolled up against the side of the pit. A deep cracked had developed along the side of the stone. \n\nHe moved towards it, cautiously. As he approached, he was astonished to notice that something was beginning to crawl out from inside. He knelt and slowly peeled away the chips that were cracking off of it. His heart came to a stop.\n\n‘Up! Pull me back up! Now!’\n",
"A mile of ice.\n\nThe frozen continent had long been a mystery to all. Impenetrable, Inhospitable, uninhabitable. \n\nUntil now.\n\nartificial and exotic materials now made year-round human habitation of the continent possible.\n\n\"4,000 feet!\" the operator yelled aloud to the drill team. \n\nA loud crash and the smell of burning gears filled the core drilling room.\n\n\"Shut it down! SHUT IT DOWN!\" Jim yelled over the loud speakers.\n\n\"Jesus, what happened?\" Jim said, looking at the assistant beside him in the control room of the drill project.\n\n\"I don't know, we hit something hard!\" the assistant replied.\n\n\"what do you mean? rocks? Diamonds!?\" Jim asked.\n\n\"No, harder, I don't know what it is but it just killed the drill.\"\n\n\"Alright, get it out of there, maybe we can have a look.\" Jim said. \n\nThe workers began the long process of removing the thousands of feet of pipes from the core hole. \n\nTwo days later and the hole was clear of any obstruction. a strange smell had risen from the depths of the ice. It smelled like sulfer, but there shouldn't be a reason for it, it was just ice after all.\n\n\"Alright guys, lower the rig\" Jim said to the control crew. \n\n\nSlowly, a small yellow submarine looking device was lowered by cable into the dark hole. \n\nafter 20 minutes, the robot had been lowered to the depth that the drill had stopped at. \n\n\"What the hell is that?\" the robot controller said.\n\non the screen, was an unmistakable metal plate. the scratches of the drill fresh on it. panning the camera around, everyone saw that they hadn't just hit metal, but that it was an endless open cavern that lead to darkness.\n\nJim looked intently at the screen.\n\n\n\"Call the head office, tell them we've found.... something.\"\n.\n\n\n.\n\n.\n\n\n\nsomewhere far away, an alarm was ringing indicating an intrusion and proximity event on the sol system entity vault.\n\n\nHe hadn't known what it meant. the young Canisean had to search through the archives to find out about the entity that was forever imprisoned under the planet's polar ice.\n\n\n\"Sir! There's a proximity detection on the sol system dangerous entity vault!\" Tlari said to his superior, a ragged looking old Canisean that had been with the galactic protection unit since the beginning.\n\n\"This can't be right.\" Sonirill replied. \"If the alarm is true, then we have to go there, now.\"\n\n\non the viewer was an image of the creature that was in the vault, and a list of the planets that it had destroyed.\n\n"
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[WP] One day you learn that you have the ability to steal superpowers
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"Superman saved me that night. That night, right before he died...\n\nI was on my way home back from college. It was late. 3AM to be exact. I just finished studying for my Chem Mid-Term which I already know I'm going to fail. I don't know why I bother studying for it. That's when I saw them.\n\nTwo masked men, both six feet tall. One with a bat and one with a gun. They came out of the shadows of the alley ahead of me. I panicked. I took two steps back with a big gulp, as I dropped my purse. No reason to pick it up anyways. It's there's now. That's when I saw him.\n\n\"WHOOSH\"\n\nA red and blue jet in the sky, flying from left to right! My face lit up like fireworks! The robbers looked at each other puzzled. Superman then suddenly rose up from the shadows, behind their backs.\n\n\"You know... baseball season hasn't started yet.\" Superman said with a smile on his face. \"It's boxing season\" He said as he grinned, knocking both robbers out with a single punch as they fell on top of each other, dazed and confused. \n\n\"Are you alright Miss?\" Superman asked me in the most caring manner, as he offered out his hand. I took it. \"I am now\" I said. As my smile and pupils turned into heats bigger than his biceps. \n\nThat's when it happened. In love with the present moment of my hero who had just saved me, I saw him whiter away in the same moment. Painlessly I saw him transform. His eyes, of the bluest blue, turning into the every day color of the murky ocean's. His jet black, perfect hair, once the color of the night sky, now interrupted with the grey from the moon. Still smiling at me, completely unaware, his skin and muscles lost the vital energy that this God had. My hand in his felt no longer protected like before. I felt like... he could die. \n\nThen suddenly, \"BANG!\" I heard from behind him, as Superman fell on his knees. He was shot in the heart by the robber who was regaining consciousness. The bullet penetrated right through the man of steel and his suit, and bounced off my chest. The gunman in shock, fled. This couldn't be.\n\n\"What have you done?\" Superman looked up at me cowering, with his blood in his hands. I shielded my eyes. \"I d- I don't know\" I said crying. But it didn't matter. The man of steel fell forward onto the sidewalk. He was Superman no more.\n\nI ran home as fast as I could covering my eyes crying. \"What did I do?\" I asked myself, as tears rushed down my face. \"I killed Superman.\"\n\nThe faster I ran, the faster my speed picked up. I ran through buildings and past people as they blew across the streets. Still in tears I did not care. I was panicking. I didn't know what was happening. Why I was running so fast. Why the bullet bounced off me. I went to the park and just sat and cried, I was on the bench with my arms wrapped around myself. \"Who could I talk to about this? Who could understand? What is going on? How did I kill Superman??\". \n\nThey were all there behind the bench. \n\"It's not your fault.\" A voice said. I didn't care who it was I just wanted to be alone. \"Go away!\" I shouted. \n\nIt was Wonder Woman. \n\"Look at me.\" She said. I sat up from the bench wiping my tears from my eyes as she walked in front of me. \"Sometimes things just happen we can't quite explain. It wasn't you who killed Superman. It was the robbers\". They were all there. The whole Justice League, in Batman's Hover Jet. \n\nWonder Woman reached out to touch my shoulder.\n\"Be Careful!\" Batman shouted. \"We don't know yet how Clark lost his powers. Don't take any chances!\". Aquaman turned to Batman. \"Yet you mention his real name in front of her?\" \"He's dead! His identity is no longer a secret.\" Batman replied. Aquaman looked at Batman with distrust. \n\n\"She's only a kid, Batman\". Wonder Woman told her as she patted me on the back. \"There there now...\". I looked at her. Her empathetic heart turned to ashes with the rest of her, as she blew away in the wind. The others stepped back. That's when I knew it. I was the arch enemy of them all. I could steal there powers. \n\n\"What is she?\" The flash looked at the others gasping. \n\nI stood tall. With the power of immortality, speed, laser vision, etc. putting on Wonder Woman's gauntlets. They had no chance. \n\n\"Dickbutt...\" I said. \"My name... is Dickbutt.\"\n \nMy laser eyes pierced through Batman's chest. Their era to rule was over. \n"
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[WP] You finally meet up with a online dating match. The night goes well, they seem interested in you, and when you say goodbye they kiss you deeply and pass something cold and odd shaped into you mouth....
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"Her tongue rolled over mine inside my mouth. The wet and sticky saliva that coated my mouth made my entire insides warm. Immediately something didn't feel right. It was as if our mouths had become locked together at the lips. I tried to subtly push away, but realized I couldn't. Again I tried, gently, but forcefully enough to separate our faces, but once more, my lips wouldn't budge from hers. \n\nI began to partially panic. Although I enjoyed kissing her, and it's been a long time since I had the chance to kiss a woman, I felt the overwhelming need to get away. The top of the night had been done, and it was time for each of us to return to our apartments. But she wouldn't let go, her tongue continued to roll over mine, licking the roof of my mouth, the insides of my cheeks.\n\nThen there was a sharp prickly pain all over my mouth. It felt like someone had taken a dozen toothpicks and poked me around my lips. When I felt the blood, not saliva I was certain, run down my chin, I went into a full blown panic.\n\nI opened my eyes, wide enough to show distress, and saw her eyes peering at me — no, not at me, they looked like she looked inside me, into me... I gripped her forearms and pulled away, but now I knew for certain, we were locked together. A sharp pain shot through my face, as if I was pulling an arm from the socket. Her once blue eyes began to fog with a black vapor, and slowly became engulfed by the darkness. Lightless portals looked into my teary eyes.\n\nI started to scream with muffled wails. I wanted out! I wanted away! I was done with this demon-woman! But when I tried again to wrench myself free, she wrapped her arms around my body. She possessed the strength of twenty men, I soon learned, for I couldn't pry her arms away from me.\n\nShe pushed me into an alcove in front of apartment's complex front door. There it would appear only two love birds were kissing the night away, when in reality it was a demon sucking the life from a poor soul. My mouth suddenly started to grow wider and wider, forming a large O. That's when I heard the sound of gagging and retching from her. Over and over she did this, until I could somewhat see her mouth expand even further, as if it was filled with something. Her cheeks became enlarged, so much so, I could see the tarry black veins underneath her pale skin.\n\nThen it was in my mouth, smiley, wet, extremely cold, and oddly egg-shaped. She pushed it through my mouth with her tongue, then down into my throat. I felt it lodge itself into my esophagus, and for a moment I believed I was going to suffocate and die, but she quickly pushed it further down. It hit my stomach like a boulder.\n\nI felt her arms release me, then felt the needle pricks dislodge themselves from my flesh. Her tongue darted back into her mouth, and slowly she backed away from me. Through tears, I saw her eyes return to blue. She looked at me in silence for a moment, then turned and walked into the darkness of the city.\n\nI didn't know what to do, or what to say, or even what to think. Dumbly I touched my lips, felt the blood, felt the sting of the holes. It began to rain. Slowly I stumbled to the door, used my key to get in, and climbed the three flights up to steps to my apartment. Inside, I fumbled to the couch, fell onto my stomach, and wept. Eventually, I fell asleep.\n\n\nI was hunched over the toilet, vomiting, before I could fully realize I had waken up. Stringy mucus ejected out from my mouth, hung and snapped from my lips. More and more my insides fell from me, to the point that when I peered into the bowl, I saw it was red and black tinged. At some point, it ceased and I crumbled into the crevice between the toilet and the wall. Sweating, shaking, I held myself and through a daze looked up at the clock near the ceiling. Almost ten o'clock. Thankfully it was Saturday, whatever I had had the chance to get out before Monday...\n\nAfter an hour or so of struggling out from the bathroom, into clean clothes and gathering blankets and pillows, and soup and crackers, I finally sat onto my couch. My nose ran with blackened mucus, my entire body felt frigid, despite the covers I wrapped myself in, and my head throbbed. I tried to eat something, but I quickly vomited whatever it had been up. Underneath the symptoms of the simple flu, I felt something uncommon, felt a rock sitting in my stomach. I lifted my shirt to see nothing strange. Pushing the thought away, I went back to dealing with the sickness, while watching whatever on the television.\n\nThe sun had gone down, and now the apartment will partially light with a dull yellow light from the lamp. I had puked at least ten times, and now diarrhea had began. But I grew worried, for everything that seemed to come out of me was black, and in some cases, even darker than that. It was as if it possessed not a single color at all, like the most distance reaches of space. I had moved the television into the bathroom, sitting on the sink, and everything else I immediately needed as I stayed put on the toilet. My stomach still felt full, and now it was large and round, giving the impression I might've been pregnant if I weren't a man. Again, I paid it little concern as every fluid in my blood shot out both holes. I chalked it up to gas.\n\nWhen I looked at the clock with heavy eyes, it just turned three in the morning. Drowsiness had wrapped me up in its arms and I wanted so desperately just to drift off, but each time I started to fall asleep, something erupted from my bowels. I felt unbelievably weak, to the point that my joints ached and cracked when I made a fist. And oddly, boredom has set in. I had been on the toilet for nearly six hours and now nothing on the T.V. entertained me. I looked down at my stomach, which seemingly hit its peak and grew no more, I wondered what was going on... \n\nIt should've been growing smaller. More of me was in the bowel than inside me, so it should have shrunken, but yet it grew. When I rubbed my hand across it, it felt solid, hard, as if I was petting a rock with a flesh coating than an actual stomach. But what could I do? I only hoped that it whatever it was would leave me once the illness subsided. \n\nAt five in the morning, when my dropping lids hung over my eyes, and my body was chilled to the bone by the early temperature, something punched me in the gut. Something was coming, and it was big. Quickly I gripped the sides of the toilet and pushed. This was it, it was what was in my stomach the whole time. Although I knew it was probably going to rip my anus in two, and it would hurt to sit for a few weeks, I was glad it was finally happening. My mind had lingered on more serious thoughts in my delirium, like a tumor growing in my abdomen, or blood was filling my stomach. I hadn't the clue, I wasn't a doctor.\n\nIt was at the end. Sweat covered my entire body, my arms and shoulders ached from gripping the sides of the porcelain, but with one last push, it was out from me. I heard something splatter the inside of the bowel, knowingly it was blood. Like a boulder being thrown into a calm lake, whatever it was fell into the water. I felt my body grow lighter, saw that my stomach quickly shrunk back to normal size, felt the hazy happiness wash over me. With it removed, I felt better, as if it was the cause of my illness from the beginning.\n\nSlowly I wrenched myself from the toilet and fell onto the ground. I turned and looked into the bowl, saw the splattered blood and black liquids, and sitting in the oily water as a gleaming black egg. As if my eyes were the trigger, lines began to spider web down it, the sound of cracking echoed out into the bathroom. Transfixed by the strange situation happening before me, I gazed down at it as parts of it shell fell off into the toilet water. Long, thin, arching spider-like legs poked out from the inside, then at least a dozen of them wrapped out the outside of the ship, sunk their pincers into the surface, and pulled itself up out from the egg.\n\nI can't really describe what it looked like. It was as if a madman had intertwined a crab, spider, and scorpion together. It had dozens of thoraxes, and legs, and jutting sharp tail that dripped with an oily looking substance. I didn't bother to look at it more than I had to, too frightened to allow its life any further. Quickly I flushed the toilet, over and over again, until the last thing I saw were the last remaining parts of its shell swirl down the drain.\n\nWhat happened to it? God only knows. I only pray for the last unlucky plumber who finds it stuck inside a pipe somewhere, or the poor soul who stumbled upon it in the sewers.",
"her hands were warm.\n\nher eyes were comforting.\n\nher kiss was one of love and care.\n\nbut what was it that she decided to share?\n\nconfused i did nothing as the small cold object rested on my tongue.\n\ni didn't know how to react, should I spit this out or ask her about it. we were together for the whole day, if she wanted to give me something then she could have just handed it to me.\n\nmy train of thought was interrupted the moment her lips moved away from me\n\nit was weird.\n\nI decided to smile and thank her for a fun evening.\n\ni turned around and walked to my car, each step on the concrete curb broke through the silence of the night.\n\none last time i decided to look at her house.\n\na figure was standing and staring at me from the window.\n\nI waved to the male figure trying to be friendly, he greeted me back with a smile and a wave.\n\nmust be her dad or brother.\n\nI opened the door to my car and sat on the comfy leather seat.\n\nimmediately I took the object out of my mouth. it was a key, just a regular cold metal key, but my finger felt a weird bump on the other side of it.\n\ni turned the key around and identified the bump.\n\non the key were 2 crudely itched words.\n\n\"Help me\" \n "
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[WP] Star Wars isn't actually a animated sci-fi movie. It's a documentary made in the future and sent to the past as a call for help.
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"\"Don't send it! Don't send it yet!\"\n\nAlric came sprinting into the control room, shouting out the warning, but the crew looked up in confusion. Teras stood up from the control chair, shaking her head at him. \"It's too late, we already completed the transmission.\"\n\nThe frustration on Alric's face was obvious, and he turned, punching a fist against the wall. Teras could barely make out his muttered complaint. \"I can't believe I missed something so simple...\"\n\n\"What was it, Alric?\" The nearby crew couldn't make out her words, but they could see the tension in her posture. \"What did you forget?\"\n\nHe looked up at her, tears evident in his eyes. \"The *first word*. It's supposed to say 'To'! 'To a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away'! They won't even realize it's addressed to them!\""
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[WP] Two kids, one destined to be the "good guy" and one destined to be the "bad guy" are somehow swapped at birth and are trained under the wrong mentor
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"\"I will be honest, high councillor. I have never seen so much anger, so much hateful conviction in an apprentice's methods.\"\n\n\"He probably still misses his mother\", Chuvend said. \"Remember that pain is relative and that there will always be outliers.\" \n\n\"With all due respect sir, he does not seem very *pained* about much at all. If I had not seen it from my necessary punishments, I would swear he was as capable at feeling pain as the wooden targets he decimates.\"\n\n\"They all hide it. And they should. We all need emotional resistance, and pretence is out greatest ally in this endeavour. You, Sameqil, were one of the best at that.\"\n\nSameqil shook his head. \"It would be understandable if it was for others, but it is as if this pretense was designed for us. What if he fears that we intervene in what he is, rather than what he will be?\"\n\n\"And why would we need to interfere, Master Sameqil.\"\n\n\"He speaks the name 'Xel'mayas'. Regularly. Most often during meditation.\"\n\nChuvend's hand scratched through the paper he was writing on. For a moment, the room seemed it would have been louder if it was not occupied. For the first time today, he looked Sameqil directly in the eyes.\n\n\"Very few know of that name, let alone are able to pronounce it at such an age.\"\n\n\"I have not forgotten, high councillor, the restrictions on names. His family house was not visited by the Golden Guard, so he must have learned it elsewhere.\"\n\nSameqil's eyes spoke of dread and the possibility of a mistake. Chuvend's eyes, usually the most loyal and unwavering in all the guild, feared he was right.\n"
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[WP] I peeled away the darkness, revealing the sun underneath.
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"\"You don't know of me?\" the man asked me. There was a matter-of-fact tone to his voice. He seemed genuinely surprised that I had never heard of him. It came from the conceited pride of a man too used to being famous. Why though, I didn't understand. He seemed nothing like a demigod. He was stout and scrawny. There was no fire in his eyes, no fangs, no muscles. Nothing impressive.\n\n\"Sorry, am I supposed to?\" I asked in return.\n\nHe fumed.\n\n\"**My** name is **ZZHT JANKR'NU**. My lands are vast and fertile; my people wealthy and strong!\" He boasted. His words echoed through the air, even when they shouldn't have. They boomed and ricocheted in the air, afraid to allow themselves to disappear. (This is, unsurprisingly, a common occurrence in a world of gods and demigods who bend the laws of nature on a whim. One often wonders why they even set the rules to begin with.) A small blue flame began dancing in the pupils of his eyes, illuminating their black depths. They willed me to come in, willed me to foam at the mouth. Between the many orders to my brains and the hypnotising image, I nearly did.\n\nHe continued, \"I WRESTLED THE DRAGON OF THE END. I FOUGHT. I WON. HE RAN. I PEELED AWAY THE DARKNESS, REVEALING THE SUN UNDERNEATH.\" (These capitalised words barely encapsulate the volume and intensity of his words. Turns out demigods are *really* petty about being slighted.)\n\n\"**MY NAME IS ZZHT JANKR'NU.** KNOW MY NAME AND **FEAR** ME!\" he bellowed with a triumphant flourish. He left the air choking for its own breath, leaving a vacuum-like silence filled with tension. His anger, his pride, were carried by the air itself. The room felt far more deadly and compressed for it. There was too much of Zzht for any one room to contain, it felt like.\n\nSomething about him had changed as he boasted too. He had grown larger, if that was even possible. The domesticated cow-like aura he had previously exuded had now morphed into that of a demon cow. (Which, by the way, make for perfectly tasty steaks once you get past the bitterness of hate and malice.) The muscles on him, previously relaxed, now tensed and threatened to rip through the skin. Veins popped and coalesced in a complicated web. He was himself, in the truest form, without any embellishment or facades. He was Zzht Jankr'nu, as the world and *I* should have seen him from the start.\n\n\"Ah, you should have said that from the start, sir. Of course I know of you!\" I exclaimed, hoping to appease him.\n\n\"Hmph. I thought so.\" he huffed and breathed out. And then he deflated.\n\nI'm not kidding here; he literally DEFLATED. Not the way you might see a balloon deflate, perhaps, but more like a puffer fish after they relax. The meek and sickly looking man of before returned and the imposing glare, the powerful stature and dangerous aura faded. \n\nDemigods really are easy to appease. (Gods, on the other hand, may require a simple dinner at least. With a farmer perhaps.)"
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[WP] Two lovers wish to stay together forever. Two hundred years later they still can't get out.
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"Such is the fate of the unenlightened.\nOne must ascend past the immature need for reincarnation. It is a trap, designed to imprison the soul through amnesia. How can one learn the necessary lessons in life if they are a blank slate all over again at birth? Why do we not ALL remember our previous lives, even though as children we all are instinctively repulsed by death and suffering, until life repeats these traumas until we become numb and seek to self medicate?\nNo, the white light is a trap. A false matrix for the soul. The akashic records are there, but we do not remember."
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[WP] Instead of asking your realtor for help, you decide to do your own sales write-up for your house. Problem is, you're the type of person who always provides a little too much information...
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"\"Honey, are you sure about this place?\" Asked Tom\n\n\"You looked at the pictures right? It's everything we need\" answered Tracy a little too sharply \n\n\"It's just...have you read the details? Spacious second bedroom with hook in ceiling for late night fun? Who writes that kind of thing?\" He questioned.\n\n\"You have to have the wrong description, we are at least going to look at it\" \n\nAs they pulled up into the drive of 425 johnson road they noticed a sign on the lawn \"johnson road, fitting isn't it?\" With a winky face at the bottom. \n\n\"Are you sure about this?\" He confirmed for the 100th time.\nB\n\"We are already here how bad can it be?\" She snapped\n\nThey rang the doorbell and found themselves standing over a mat that read \"we made out here\" \n\nIt took a couple of minutes before the door swung open to a man and a woman both wearing leather collars.\n\n\"Hi there! Welcome to our play house!\" Welcomed the man far too enthusiastically.\n\n\"Uh...hi\" responded Tom and Tracy together.\n\n\"Please come in we will show you around\" invited the woman who then promptly put a ball gag in her mouth. As they walked around the house they were informed of the various surfaces that had been defiled. Tracy and Tom grew more uncomfortable by the minute as the toir progressed through halls that had ropes and cuffs proudly displayed.\n\n\"Would you like to see the basement now? It's where we keep all the good stuff\" winked the man.\n\n\"I-I t-think we have seen enough\" stammered Tracy as they headed for the door.\n\n\"Are you sure? You haven't even seen the built in lube dispenser yet!\" He yelled after them. The only answer he got was the slamming door.\n\nThe woman took her ballgag out, \"you were right, this is much better than pretending to be vampires last year\" she said with a wicked grin.",
"Property Details for 9454 Acacia Lane\n\nFor sale: This is a single-family home located at 9454 Acacia Lane, Smithburg, NJ. The home has 4 beds, 3.5 baths. (Actually 5 beds if you count the finished basement. Not that there’s a bed there now … I just mean if you wanted, you could make it a bedroom too.) The house is approximately 2200 square feet. This does not count the tall ceilings, which I think is odd, but there you are. Most of the downstairs rooms have nice, tall ceilings, fyi. (Not that this is always good … try changing light bulbs on a fan mounted 15 feet off the floor.) The property has a lot size of 1.3 acres and was built in 1919. Most of the other homes in the neighborhood were built later, as this one was a model. Which explains why they have bigger sunrooms. Don’t get me wrong, the sunroom is a nice size. But the Donaldsons’ next door have a really nice, bigger one. Which my wife never let me forget. The lot size is larger for this home, though, which is nice. Except in the fall – lots of trees means lots of raking, haha! The average list price for similar homes for sale in this Zip code is $548,630. Which is good considering the divorce. Did I mention the wife and I are selling because we’re divorcing? Which has no bearing on the house, which is lovely. But just FYI … Tom Donaldson is a cheating, back-stabbing, lying, wife-stealing fuckwad and if you buy this house, lock up your wife, your daughters and your dog, if you want my opinion. Please call 856-897-4707 if you have questions. Please don’t call after 7:30 as I will most likely be drunk.\n"
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[WP] Every time you make a decision of any kind, your world splits into two different possible timelines, all of which you experience simultaneously.
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"I looked up towards her with a coy smile. She was amazing. If I were able to describe her any better, I would. Trust me. But I just can't. There's just *something* about her. The type of something that couldn't be put into words. The same something that my friends would never be able to see quite like I could. It's indescribable. And I love it.\n\nTonight is the night. I am finally going to propose to her. I wasn't going to back down this time. I still feel the anxiousness of **that** me. I felt his feelings and heard his thoughts like they were my own. He was miserable. There are days where I can't get out of bed, because he manages to weigh me down. But tonight, I have to fight the feeling. Just like I've fought so many other feelings.\n\nI can't explain how or why, but each of the crossroad decisions in my life haunts me to this day. Whenever I make a significant choice, my world splits into two. The \"normal\" one (which I most consciously experience), and the \"other\" one (which I experience, but on a toned down level). The other one is the world in which I made a different decision. Right now, there are about 14 \"Me\" in 14 different worlds. I've found that the more worlds there are, the less each one effects me. It's not unbearable, but I wouldn't call it pleasant either. \n\nI first discovered my.....curse....phenomenon...*thing*...when I was 8 years old. My mother guided me through a catalog of summer programs, and asked me to pick the one I'd like to do most. To 8 year old me, that was the biggest decision I was ever going to have the chance to make. I actually lost sleep over it. How was I ever going to pick just one? I wanted so badly to do all of them! A couple of day after I first saw the catalog, I was able to narrow it down to two choices. Soccer, and Baseball. Having less choices and actually choosing are two drastically different battles however. A few more days flew by, and Mom told me I had to make a decision. I couldn't. I still wanted to do both! Plus, what if the choice I made was the wrong one? I couldn't live with that. So I flipped a coin. Soccer. \n\nLooking back now, I realize that was the moment it all started. I did myself in. Whatever forces control this world did not take kindly to my blatant sidestep of the responsible of decision. From that day on, I've gotten exactly what I wanted. Both......All...Always.\n\nThree weeks passed, and soccer camp was going fantastically. I made a lot of really nice friends. Plus, I was leading the team in goals! We were just about to man the field for the next match when it happened. Out of nowhere, my head began to pound. Rhythmically. boom.......boom.......boom....I couldn't move........boom.....It was like my brain was......boom.......boom.....being slowly ripped apart...boom....BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM...I fainted.\n\nWhen I came to again, I was in the camp's infirmary office. I tried to get up, but the nurse told me not to. He explained that I had fainted on the field. 'Probably because I was dehydrated'. I was drinking plenty of water though. Coach kept coolers upon coolers on the sidelines. I didn't question the nurse. I was just a kid after all. What did I know about dehydration? After half an hour in the air conditioning, and an awkward call home about the 'incident', I was allowed to return to the soccer fields. \n\nAs I exited the nurse's office, I began to hear that rhythmic pounding again. It was different the second time though. It wasn't in my head. It was coming from the gym. I decided to take a quick detour to investigate. Approaching the large padded doors made me really nervous. The banging grew louder as I inched closer, fearing what was on the other side. I threw the doors open, and the sound exploded. It wasn't a single giant noise. It was around thirty smaller noises combined. The basketball camp was running their drills. I looked on as the boys in colorful shorts dipped in between small cones. Some were dribbling, others were passing, and a select few were working on layups. I was in a captive trance until I felt something brush up against my leg. A rogue ball. \n\nI looked down at the basketball with intent. In an instant, my trance was broken only to start anew. A thousand different images flooded through my mind. I could see the dribbling patterns that Coach had taught us. I knew to stay slow. Stay fast. I knew which leg to hop off of, where to aim on a free throw. I knew it all. A quick glance around the gym, and I found Ralph; my drill partner. I knew tons about him. He loved oranges with his lunch, he needed to work on defending his rear, his brother played basketball at the local high school. I knew it all. The pounding noise that just before filled me pain, now soothed me beyond compare.\n\nAt the time, I didn't realize what was happening. I didn't realize that the head pounding from the soccer field wasn't dehydration. I almost didn't realized that I wasn't in basketball camp. It wasn't going to become apparent to me for a couple more years.\n\nFreshman year of high school. By this time, I had grown more accustomed to the conflicting thoughts in my head. I had started seeing a psychologist about 'the voices'. With practice, I was able to keep the focus on my reality. Anyway, every second semester freshman student was required to take any given foreign language course. For me, this was an easier decision than the summer camp of days past. I came from an Italian family. Of course I was going to take Italian classes. It was so exciting back then. I had hoped that I was going to be able to take to my grandparents without my father having to translate. Though Spanish would have been nice to take too. My enthusiasm for Italian disappeared very quickly. I walked through the threshold of my very first Italian class, I felt that headache again. The one that brought new voices with it. It was the same headache from soccer camp; from my private high school interview. By then, I knew what was coming next. I braced for impact. All things considered, I hit the floor rather gracefully. No concussion that time. \n\nI'd been through the motions by that point. Wake up, get lectured about dehydration, call home, back to class, voices, voices, voices. Except this time, the normal voices were calmer. I laughed a laugh of desperate relief, and returned to class. Already branded 'that kid who passed out'. The remainder of that day was normal. Things didn't become strange until I had gotten home. As I was doing my Italian homework, the quiet voices began to stir. I tried to ignore them, as I had been doing, but it wasn't working this time. After an unproductive hour, I gave up, and tuned into the voices. As I expected, there was a new one. Unexpectedly, however, he was speaking French. More unexpectedly, I understood him. Every word. He spoke in very basic phrases. \"Hello, my name is\", \"How are you?\", \"I am fine\". The same phrases I learned today in Italian. I cried. In vain.\n\nThis pattern followed me throughout my life. My first used car, my college major, my first apartment. Every milestone was marked with a headache and a blackout. I put up with it though. I learned to cope with the voices. It all paid off in the end. Every major decision I had made, every blackout I endured, the concussions, the calls home, the headaches, it all led me to her. And she was wonderful. Like nothing else. I was determined to make her mine tonight.\n\nI looked towards her with a coy smile. She smiled back. I took a deep breath, and grabbed her hands in mine. Slowly, I began the monologue I had prepared.....Or at least I tried to. As I spoke, what actually came out of my mouth was a series of blended mumbles and rapid-fire sounds that were *almost* words. The voices were scrambling like fighters jets to a siren. I couldn't focus of anything. Let alone a short speech. She laughed her gentle laughed that had pierced my heart so many times before. I loved it. Her. She knew what was happening. My plan, my nerves, the voices. She knew it all. In her graceful fashion, she lent me the support I so desperately needed. Slowly, she dropped down to one knee. Her big brown eyes caught my focus, and the world stopped as she asked that simple question. 'Marry Me?'. I was overwhelmed. I dropped to both my knees, took her in my arms, and held her for what seemed like an eternity. \"Yes\", I weakly managed to say. I passed out.\n\nI didn't regain consciousness for an hour, or so I was told. But that didn't matter. When I woke, there were no voices in my head but my own. They were gone. All of them. Almost 20 years later. I looked up at her, tears in those brown eyes, and it all finally made sense. I couldn't even begin to process an alternative world. One without her. I had finally wholeheartedly made a decision. She was the one....I would love....forever."
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[WP] Scientists have created a super bacteria that thrives by eating waste and impurities to help with Fukushima. Everything is going great until the world is so clean the bacteria has nothing left to eat. So it turns to the most impure thing left, humankind.
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"We thought it would be a good idea.\nWe thought it would help.\nOh how we were wrong.\nSo terribly,terribly wrong.\nFukushima got cleaned, sure. \nAnd the entirety of the world got cleaned as well.\nThe bacteria reproduced, it spread, but what happens if your cleaning product has cleaned everything already? What if its something you cant stop? Like a roomba but you cant turn it off. Hahaha imagine that.... but with teeth instead of a vacuum!\nThat's what we're dealing with here, at first it was made to \"eat\" pollution and radiation, chemicals in the air. But what happens when bacteria gets rid of everything it can eat, and if its multiplying at the speed of light? It starts looking for other things, the first of these was bones, then corpses, and finally, living creatures.\nWe noticed a few mice disappearing in our lab, then a few dogs in the area, then the news reported a lot of species going extinct, and when we saw a squirrel in the trees getting its flesh torn off by microscopic and practically invisible creatures, me and my coworkers moved to a quarantined area, we had enough food for years here, but what would we do when we got out?\nIm writing this on the computer in here, if anyone ever finds this planet, i hope this computer will still be here and theyll be able to read it. \nOw..\nMy finger is bleeding..\n"
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[WP] You're a modern day cupid. You can recognise soul mates, people who complete each other. You have a great track record. But... There's this one case you swore you'll never tell anyone about.
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"It was truly unbelievable.\n\nHe was a flashy, passionate man; a man who dreamed of his glory days, the time he had once stood as a symbol of success among men. He had been all but forgotten since then, like the old radio singers now fallen to the television studios. He had distracted himself with younger women, gaudy entertainment, the works. His young trophy wife barely loved him-- and he barely loved her. He was fantastically wealthy, perfectly secure; but unfulfilled in life. He wanted more. He wanted success, and he wanted love, yet he was unloved by all around him-- save, ironically, the cold, passionless girl of his dreams.\n\nShe was a serious, practical woman, tempered by years of stress and trials. She often remembered the shouting and the slamming of doors, her husband apologizing time and time again. \"You're my one true love,\" he used to tell her. \"It won't ever happen again.\" By now, he didn't even bother. There was no love left between them, only a facade constructed by necessity and convenience. And the woman called heartless's heart had never healed. Never healed-- until, however, she had first looked into the eyes of the smiling, shameless man of her dreams.\n\nSo how, you might ask, could two such different people share some mystical bond? How could two personalities in such extreme contrast, such wildly separate circumstances, have found fulfillment in each other?\n\nThat's the thing. I don't know how. I don't know why. I just *know.* I can just *tell.* I've always been able to, you see. I can sense the bond between human souls; find the connection that makes a heart complete. And with these two nearly opposite individuals, as unbelievably impossible as it was, the bond was there. I've been able to tell. I've known for a while now.\n\nI've known since the first debate.",
"--- \n\n\"You bring so many people to their love.\" Amanda smiled at Carlos. It was warm and friendly. A true smile. A rare sight these days. \"Have you ever had it?\" \n\n\"Love?\" Carlos asked, looking away, back to the TV. She sat so close to him, her body was warm and her skin soft. He wanted to grab her and pull her in, tell her he loved her. He knew she wanted it too. \n\nBut it wouldn't be right. He looked back to her and smiled as well, though it was a sad one. When he looked at her through his contacts, he could see how close she was to her Soulmate. It wasn't him. \n\n\"No.\" He said, looking to the TV again. He didn't even know what was on, some Netflix show. He just... couldn't look at her. \n\nAmanda was quiet for a moment, then she whispered out a single word. \"Oh.\" \n\nThere was a silence. It lasted for a minute, then two. \n\n\"You know-\" Carlos began. \n\n\"I just-\" She said at the same time. \n\nThey both laughed and stopped talking. \n\n\"I've seen you do great things,\" Amanda said, grabbing his arm. Carlos nearly flinched. \"Has it ever... not worked out?\" \n\nHe nodded. \"Not because they weren't meant for one another. The technology never failed me yet.\" \n\nHe didn't add the next part. That he hoped to God it was wrong about the two of them. \n\n\"Tell me,\" she said, smiling again. \n\n--- \n\nIt was one of the first weeks I began using the tech to bring people together. A few months after I invented it. I was in a Uber. Harpreet Singh. That was the driver. \n\nIt's way harder than you'd think to ensure you get a specific driver. At least it was back then. \n\nI smiled as the kid went on about Uber's rates. He was young, short hair and no beard. He had a light accent, gentle and soft, though it didn't match his words. He was telling me about Uber taking a quarter of his profits and charging the riders so little as it stood. \n\nI nodded along at all the right spots, watching him through my glasses, back then I hadn't made them contact lenses yet. His body grew more and more red as he drove. He was getting closer. \n\nAs we neared an intersection, it was red hot. The matching one was a woman named Annabelle Franklin. She always came to this intersection at this moment. The light was turning yellow and Harpreet was slowing, but I told him to beat it. Said I'd tip him bigtime and as he told me the entire ride, he needed the money. \n\nAnnabelle liked to jump the gun on lights. She would watch for the other ones to turn yellow then start moving. \n\n--- \n\n\"Don't tell me,\" Amanda interrupted. \"They didn't-\" \n\n\"Die?\" I asked. \"No, no. Nothing like that.\" \n\n--- \n\nThey collided, safely, no one was injured, but they swapped numbers. I watched them for a while and their relationship became romantic very soon. True love, something to behold. \n\nWhat I didn't expect was for Harpreet's family to disown him for dating a black woman. I also didn't expect Anna's father to shoot Harpreet for being a terrorist. \n\nHe was in the war, her father. He never came back the same. At least that's what the news said. \n\nI... \n\nI stopped watching Anna, she stopped walking with that spring in her step, spent her Fridays buying beer in bulk. I saw her a few times, once with the glasses on. Her skin was white. I'd seen white instead of the blue or red before, but it wasn't until then that I understood what it meant. \n\nLove lost. \n\nI wonder. \n\nIf she knew this would happen, would she have still done it all? \n\nI didn't have the balls to ask her. I still don't. If she's even alive. \n\n--- \n\nShe was quiet for a long time. I went back to watching the show. Did she hate me? Is that why the lens said she wasn't the one for me? \n\nI looked back at her and jumped. Amanda was red hot. \n\nImpossible. \n\nNo one *changed*. Soulmates are permanent. Even if they weren't, why would *that* story change her feelings? \n\n\"I don't know what to say.\" She finally broke the silence. \n\nI shook my head. \"What do you say about a movie?\" \n\n\"We're watching a movie...\" \n\n\"No,\" I said, smiling again. \"One in a theater. Then we eat dinner after.\" \n\n\"Like a date?\" She asked. She was sitting up straighter. \"Why now? After that awful story. I've been asking you for years.\" \n\n\"Say yes.\" I said. \"Please.\" \n\nShe paused, then smiled again, even deeper than before. \"Yes.\" "
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[WP] You hear crying every night around midnight, tonight you hear a blood curdling scream.
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"I was scared to sleep. I had been hearing strange sounds in my room. It was always the same. A child crying. The first time I heard it, I almost ran out of the room. But the moment I got off my bed, the crying stopped. I covered myself with the blanket fully and closed my eyes, hoping that it was just my imagination. The next day, it happened again. After a week, I had gotten used to it. Whenever I tried telling someone about it, they just laughed.\nTonight, the crying had stopped. I was relieved and soon fell asleep. All of a sudden I heard a scream. I woke up in a panic and started to scream too. The lights went on in the hall and the door to my room opened. I saw a dim tall outline near the door. I screamed harder. The figure turned on the lights and came to me.\n\"Harry, it's me. Dad. What happened? Why are you screaming?\"\n\nI started sobbing and hugged him.\n\n\"I heard someone screaming in my room.\" I managed to say in between sobs.\n\nHe rubbed his eyes tiredly and said, \"we've already been over this, champ. There is nothing in your room. See?\" He threw open the wardrobe door and checked under the bed.\n\n\"Now go back to sleep. You just had a nightmare\"\n\nI nodded, wiping the tears streaking down my face.\n\nHe left the room after kissing my forehead and ruffling my hair. I watched as he turned the lights off and closed the door. I tried to convince myself there are no monsters and covered myself with the blanket.\n\nA few minutes later, I heard a door creak. Breathing sharply, I turned towards the wardrobe. I remembered Dad shutting it when he left the room. It was slightly open now. \n\nA child's bloody hand was slowly extending out from the inside.\n\nI screamed."
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[WP] His choices consisted of either a ukulele or Mr. Whiskers
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"\"I have to pick one of these? To go out there?\"\n\n\"Yes, either will work.\"\n\n\"If this is all I have I'm gonna die.\"\n\nThat is almost certainly true, however, if you stay in here, we're going to kill you, so its your choice.\"\n\n\"My choices are, a ukulele, Mr. Whiskers, or death?\"\n\n\"That is correct.\"\n\n\"Well if that's how its got to be, then I choose Mr. Whiskers.\"\n\n\"The cat? Really?? Its hardly more than a kitten.\"\n\n\"Yeah but the uke won't last more than one good swing, so I might as well take the Mr. Whiskers and have a friend.\"\n\n\"Very well. Good luck.\"\n\nThe doors pull apart and Jordan steps out of the ship. It has touched down in the middle of a large leafy jungle. It looks just like the rainforests back home. He takes a look around tucking Mr. Whiskers into the front pocket on his jump suit.\n\n\"Just stay there little man. We'll make it out.\"\n\nA few weeks a ago his ship, the Firebird, was captured by what he had first thought to be pirates, but after watching them think, he was pretty sure this was some kind of crazy government testing. He wasn't even sure what planet this was, but they had given him a jumpsuit with all sorts of readouts on it, a kitten, a canteen with water, and told him that if he could make it to the research base about 90 klicks away that he would be safe.\n\nIt seemed totally hopeless, but Jordan hadn't joined the International Deep Space Corps to die out here in what appeared to be nowhere. Besides, Mr. Whiskers was counting on him.\n\n90 klicks wasn't actually very far. It was a few days of hard travel. The main problems were going to be food, and maintaining a steady direction. With one last look at the ship that was now heading towards atmo, Jordan turned and started walking into the woods. The thick vegetation closing behind him.\n\nThe first night was brutal. As the huge red sun sank behind the horizon the temperature plummeted. Jordan couldn't see the actual sun through the tree cover, but he saw the gathering darkness and was already shivering. He pulled leaves off of a nearby bush, creating a sort of bed, he tunneled down in, curling up into a ball, holding Mr. Whiskers against him. He woke in the middle of the night to something grunting in the bushes near him. He could hear the rustling as it moved around, but it ignore him and moved on before long. Jordan slept fitfully, and as the sun started to rise he heard the jungle coming to life. All sorts of shrieks and cries that he had never heard before. Then one familiar mew. He looked down. Mr. Whiskers was standing there, a strange furry creature at his feet. He stared at Jordan, then nudged the mouse like creature forward. Jordan picked it up. This was about survival.\n\nThe aftertaste of the mouse was still in Jordan's mouth. He had eaten it hours ago, and nothing else. He didn't trust any of the vegetation enough to eat it. He was hungry already, which was to be expected. He was still able to maintain a steady pace though. Mr. Whiskers was still curled up in his jumpsuit, breathing softly, occasionally stirring, but not trying to get out.\n\nJordan was sweating, it was so hot, but the Jumpsuit was useful protection against the leaves and branches hanging in front of him. He would make it. The heat, the animals, the the forest itself. Nothing would stop him. Mr. Whiskers was counting on him.\n\nFour days later a man stumbled into a clearing. There were several buildings set up in a tight circle, hallways connecting all of them. He staggered against a door, which opened promptly, and he fell into a small chamber with a metal floor.\n\nJordan woke up on a metal table, covered by a thin blanket. A man dressed like a doctor was holding a clipboard standing off to the side. Jordan groaned and the man moved towards him.\n\n \"How are you feeling?\"\n\n\"Terrible\"\n\n\"Well as to be expected, you're severely dehydrated, extremely malnourished. We received communications from command, you're to stay here till you're recovered, then the next time a supply shuttle comes, we're sending you home. You can take the cat with you I suppose.\"\n\nJordan breathed a sigh of relief. It was over. He was alive. The doctor had just one final question, about how he had managed to survive. The answer was simple.\n\n\"I trusted Mr. Whiskers.\""
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[WP] You were born, you lived, you learned, you grew old, life was a little tough, but in the end you learned so much about yourself and the world. And so you too died like all others...and then you woke up on the other side. You thought life was tough? That was only the tutorial...
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"All around me my family gathered. Beside me, holding my hand: my darling Margaret. She was sobbing, but she was wise; she would make it through. My eldest son on the other hand.. He was sitting at the end of the room, arms crossed and avoiding my eye contact. \n\n\"Louis...\" I called out with what strength I have, \"Come here... Please.\"\n\nJust like that, he was in the forefront of everyone's vision, and I in his.\n\n\"What?\" A single word, but that was the first word he's said to me in years. I almost let my emotions get the better of me. With his attention, I began my apology.\n\n\"My son, for all those years I wasn't there for you, I'm sorry.\" I tried to think of more to say, about all the missed birthdays, father and son moments we never had, the promised vacations that never came to fruition, and other times we spent together, but all I could think of were the many sleepless nights spent in my lab.\n\nI could only shed a tear. I know him so little, I cant even imagine time with him.\n\nI couldn't think. For once, the greatest mind of the 23rd century drew a blank. \"I'm glad you're a scientist too.. I... I love you, and I hope you'll be a better f.. father than me...\". I eked out a stupid response, then immediately second guessed it.\n\nAt the mention of \"father\", Louis cringed, but only for a millisecond. There was silence. Then a sigh.\n\n\"I forgive you, Larry, thank you for your kind words.\"\n\nMy heart warmed. I was at peace. What better way to go, than like this? \n\nMy son got up to leave, so did I.\n\n------\n\n\"Your child's pre-life life is complete, Mr Lee\" the voice echoed. \"Your son's memories and experiences will be progressively unlocked as he reaches the appropriate age to experience them.\"\n\n\"Good.\" Lee senior replied, \"leave him to my maid, I don't have the time to care for him, at least not now.\"\n\n\"Affirmative, but before that, what is his name?\"\n\n\"Larry? Yeah, Larry sounds good.\" Louis reached out and gave Larry a kiss, then proudly declared: \"Yes! His name is Larry. Also, please address me properly in the future. I have to go now, work won't wait.\"\n\n\"Apologies, Doctor Louis Lee.\"\n\nLouis smiled, the birth of his first son is a joyous occasion, in the future, when he has less work, he'll spend time with his son, air fishing, playing games on extinct gaming devices, going on bitcoin mining vacations; But for now, work came first. \n\nWith a happy heart, he left, much like his son's first cries.",
"The day when I died was also supposed to be my happiest. Life has been, how do I say it, not easy at best. It was not entirely tough, like how mum used to compare us to the African children, but it was no walk in the park either.\n\nI was not the brightest kid in school, definitely not the most popular too, and I struggled through my childhood. College was somewhat better, but there was still the pressure to do well. I thought things would improve after getting a job. It was not bad, but in between the layoffs, starting a family and trying to give your family a good life, it's not easy.\n\nStill, I don't have any longing regrets. Small ones yes, like going on a parachuting adventure, but there is none that made me want to relive my life again. Surrounded by my children and grandchildren as I drew my final breath, I was happy. Contented. \n\nI looked forward to my eternal rest. Except that what awaited me on the other side was nothing I had expected. \n\nThree cheerful faces greeted me as I opened my eyes, still lying on a bed. It was a different bed than the one I have grown accustomed to in the weeks leading up to my supposed death. The bed felt rock hard, and my back protested in pain.\n\nThe room that I woke up in was nothing like any room that I have seen during my time alive, despite having stayed in cheap run down apartments before. The paint was peeling away from the walls, revealing a dark black mold behind it, separated only by the large cracks that run through the walls. Empty space remained where the windows should be, and a blood red sky loomed forbiddingly beyond it.\n\nAn unexplained stale, pungent smell hung in the air too, a mix of dirty clogged drain and a rubbish dump. I found myself breathing through my mouth just to escape the smell. Nothing, however, could compare to the three faces that stood around my bed.\n\n\"Welcome!\" the three of them shouted in unison, raising their hands in the air, as if it was some sort of celebration. Despite their cheerful tone, their faces seemed like monsters straight out of your darkness nightmares. \n\nTheir skin were like melting off their faces, hanging like crumpled clothes. Save for a few strands of hair poking out seemingly at random, they were mostly bald. Their eyeballs were bulging from the sockets, threatening to fall out, and their teeth were a mixture of black and yellow.\n\nI wanted to scream, until I saw my own reflection on a shard of glass next to me. I looked exactly like them.\n\n\"Am I in hell?\" I finally asked, the voice that escaped my throat a deep croak that I do not recognized.\n\n\"Oh silly, you're not!\" the woman, or at least I thought was a woman, spoke with a grotesque smile. \"You're now in Level 1 of life!\"\n\n---------\n\n/r/dori_tales"
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[WP] You are a person who has moved into a very haunted house where the ghost has fallen in love with you, unfortunately, you do not share the same feelings.
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"I always attract the wrong guys.\nIn middle school, it was the boy who liked to lick the led in his pencils.\nIn high school, it was a meathead who kept trying to put his nose in my hair.\nNow, it's a dead man.\n\nI don't really know why he thinks that pushing my shit around is gonna attract me. I didn't even know he was in love with me before I began to feel a cold arm around my shoulder daily. Its not like slamming doors is a hint in any time I think he's trying to impress me or intimidate me or something. \n\nLast night, after 2 nights of feeling him constantly hover over me lying in bed all creepy like, I finally decided to get a Ouija board. I already knew this was gonna suck but I couldn't find any other way of dealing with this.\nWith the candles lit in a dark room for proper spooky magic, I put my hands on the planchette and said hello.\n\nH-E-Y -B-A-B-Y\n\nUgh.\n\n\"What is your name?\"\n\nH-A-R-V-E-Y\n\n\"When and how did you die?\"\n\nA-P-R-I-L 1-9-9-7 \nF-E-L-L-D-O-W-N-S-T-A-I-R-S\n\n\"Harvey, why do you haunt this home?\"\n\nC-U-Z-I-D-I-E-D-H-E-R-E-D-U-H\n\nU-R-L-U-C-K-Y-U-R-P-R-E-T-T-Y\n\n\"That's not what I meant. I mean why do you haunt me?\"\n\nI-T-A-I-N-T-N-O-H-A-U-N-T\n\nI-K-N-O-W-Y-O-U-L-O-V-E-M-E\n\n\"No, I don't. You've haven't even talked to me before this. You can't just act like I'm dating you just because I moved into the place you cracked your neck.\"\n\nI-T-W-O-U-L-D-B-E-R-O-M-A-N-T-I-C-I-F-Y-O-U-D-I-D-N-T-B-R-U-S-H-M-E-O-F-F\n\n\"Slow down Harvey! I don't even know you. We have to talk first. And I figured that we could have a conversation and see where it takes us.\n\nA-L-R-I-G-H-T\n\n\"Okay.\"\n\nO-K-A-Y\n\n\"So let's talk.\"\n\nS-O-L-E-T-S-T-A-L-K\n\nThere was a long silence.\n\nD-I-D-Y-O-U-S-I-T-I-N-S-U-G-A-R-C-U-Z-Y-O-U-R-A-S-\n\n\"Goodbye, Harvey. \"\n\nI-M-M-A-P-O-S-S-E-S-S-U-R-A-S-S-L-A-T-E-R\n\n\n"
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[WP] One day you find out that your can of shaving foam is actually a grenade.
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"*This morning is going better than usual. Better than all the previous this week anyway. Fridays are ususally my shave day as my scruff gets a little too scraggley and my lady likens my face to a swatch of velcro. The spikey side, not the side with the loops. What a great shower, the temperature was just right. Which is odd for my apartment. You know, I've never noticed just how luxurious my living space is. My towels were a lot fluffier than usual too. And I had the perfect amount of shampoo left in the bottle for my wavy locks. Has my hair always been this clean?... Of course not! I had to purchase the necessary consumer products first! Time to rinse my face! Mmm, refreshing. Hey there, mirror, looking good. Got my razor. Something's... off about it. I could have sworn it was bigger... AH, yes! Shaving cream! This is of course very essential to my morning ritual and I could not possibly hope to get through today without it. You know, I like my facial hair just as much as the next guy, but nothing really beats that smooth silky feeling of a nice clean shave. Now to just open my shaving cream. SNIFF SNIFF. Sulfur?... That's odd, it's usually- GASP! Perception snare!*\n\n*BOOM!*\n\nThere was a great ringing in the man's ears. Everything seemed hazy. The room jumped around. Nothing was in focus. His razor lay on the tiles next to him. He reached for it and as he grabbed it, it faded into a crude stone hunting knife. He could feel his hair returning to it's previous unkempt oily state. The bathroom looked... fuzzy? The walls melted away to reveal dense forest. Dew dripped slowly off the pine needles, their scent mixed with gunpowder and pain. The tiles he lay on faded to become cool earth with patches of wet grass. The sink bliked away as the only remaining furnishing. In its place laid a large oozing puddle. The man looked at his muddied hands. He had a leech on his cheek. A secondary concern. The man quickly scrambled to his feet, drunkenly dashing off into the thick foliage.\n\n*Not today, alien bastards! I bet it hurts being outsmarted by a Neanderthal again!*"
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[WP] A stalker discovers that his victim of obsession is actually a serial killer.
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"I knew we were meant to be the very first moment our arms brushed on that crowded boardwalk near the carnival. \n\nSure, other arms brushed mine, but I knew this was something special.\n\nI followed her home that same day.\n\nI watched her enter the home. I climbed up a tree to get a better view. \n\nI saw a light come on. I saw the backs of a man and a woman backing up slowly into the room, toward the window. \n\nThen there was a bang, a shot, a hole, and blood splattering on the glass as the man got hit. Then another bang, the woman's head exploding like a canteloupe. She crumpled, and I caught my first view of their asssilant. \n\nThe girl from the boardwalk. She was holding a shotgun.\n\nAnd she was staring directly at me.\n\nShe smiled and lifted the gun.",
"\"You're a persistent one, aren't you?\" Jack said, turning Freddie's chin to the side. \"Not police, no. Private detective? No, not that either.\"\n\nFreddie screwed up his face and tried to spit blood onto Jack's shirt, but Jack squeezed his cheeks and forced his head further away with a disgusted snort. Jack released Freddie's jaw and took a few steps to the table at the side of the room, where Freddie's backpack and its contents were laid out. A camera, a folder full of photographs, printouts of Jack's online profiles and posts, a journal full of notes, a map of Jack's movements through the city... It was thorough, but clearly amateur. Jack flipped through Freddie's wallet and finally stopped on a plastic membership card.\n\n\"Ah, I see. That's where I've seen you. Same gym.\" He continued shuffling the cards and stopped again. \"...and coffee place. Hm. Almost got a free coffee.\" He pocketed the punchcard. \"Okay, so, you're the gym, and, what, decide you like what you see?\"\n\nFreddie licked his teeth. \"Something like that.\"\n\n\"Do tell.\"\n\n\"You go to my church, too. PTA. Seen you at games. Real involved kinda guy, aren'tchya?\"\n\n\"It certainly helps.\"\n\n\"Mr. Perfect,\" Freddie growled.\n\nJack laughed. \"I try to give that impression, yes. I'm pleased that someone noticed.\"\n\n\"But you're not. Seen you, pickin' boys up from the shelter. They trust you, hop in with you. Don't come back. People think you sent 'em off to another city, sent 'em home to their parents. Helped 'em get into halfway houses. People think you're real nice. But I seen you.\"\n\n\"Oh, really?\" Jack thumbed through the pile of photos and saw a few that made his heart flutter. Boys who were supposed to be gone, sitting in his cabin. Drinking a hot coffee. Getting dragged into his shed. \"Hm. Tell me, then. If you think I'm so dangerous, why come out here? Why come alone?\"\n\n\"Bring the evidence,\" Freddie grunted. He tried to stretch his shoulders, but his arms, bound behind his back, refused to cooperate.\n\nJack leaned against the table and crossed his arms. \"And this is helpful to you because...?\"\n\n\"S'worth somethin' to ya, to keep all that under wraps.\"\n\n\"So you've got copies.\"\n\n\"Yup. So we're gonna make a deal.\"\n\n\"Oh?\"\n\n\"First time I seen you, talkin' at city council, people goin' shiny-eyed? Respected your passion. PTA, clearly cared 'bout the education of your students. Then you show up everywhere. Church choir, old folk's home, homeless shelter, humane society. Start to get annoyed. Friends of yours I run into gushin' about stuff you're doin' in the community. Great guy, wonderful guy.\" Freddie snorted. \"Annoying, but fine. But then, I see you at the gym. Everybody loves you, and in great shape, and well-equipped to boot. Hated your guts.\"\n\n\"Fair enough.\"\n\n\"Start followin' you around. Watch you tip your servers twenty percent like clockwork. Always polite, openin' doors for people, helpin' old ladies take their groceries to their cars. Hated you so, so much. Then I noticed, you were all on your own. Thought at first, oh, he's so busy, no time for dating. Then realized, no time for friends either.\"\n\n\"What can I say? I'm a man who enjoys his solitude.\"\n\n\"Hmph. Yeah, only not really. Seen you take a boy, 'bout six months back. Lost you when you got on your property. Wasn't so bold then. 'Bout two months later, same thing. Get closer this time. Six weeks after, close enough to see what's happening. Came back every night for a week and a half, there he is. Well, here. Nobody to hear him out here. Nobody lookin' for him. And you, standin' there, buck naked, showin' him how cruel the world can be.\"\n\nA small smile tugged at Jack's lips. \"As much as I'm enjoying this, I'd appreciate if you'd get to your point.\"\n\n\"I want in.\"\n\n\"I'm... sorry?\"\n\n\"Not on the killin' part. Not my thing. I want in on the life you've got. I want to be a pillar of the community. I want women to want to be with me. I want people to talk to their friends about the shit I've done.\"\n\n\"Are you serious?\"\n\n\"Yup.\"\n\n\"You... don't need to make a deal with me to do that. You just have to... be involved. I can't just drop your name and have people think you're an important community member. People notice when you act, that's what it takes. You know, it's people like you who are the reason the library's not getting enough funding and the streets are covered in litter. Just want all the benefits without doing any of the work.\"\n\n\"Don't need a lecture. Need to know if we have a deal.\"\n\n\"Let me ask you something. Does anyone else know about the copies?\"\n\n\"What?\"\n\n\"The copies. Is someone holding onto them?\"\n\n\"No, I hid 'em.\"\n\n\"Hid them. Nobody knows where?\"\n\n\"No, so you'll never find 'em.\"\n\n\"Uh huh.\" Jack began to unbutton his shirt.\n\n\"What're you doing?\"\n\n\"Listen, this has been really fun. But I'm getting tired, and I've got to be at the school at 6:30 tomorrow morning. I've enjoyed our time together, really. Blackmail, stalking, wonderful. The thing is,\" he said with a sigh, \"if nobody knows where the pictures are, they're not really a threat, are they?\"\n\nThe next morning at his favorite coffee place, Jack turned in Freddie's punchcard and got a free cup of premium roast. It was going to be a beautiful day."
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[WP] Scientists up at the LHC have just discovered exotic matter, enabling feasible time travel. An eager researcher is the first to use it, and finds themself at the beginning of the universe, with a camera phone. They quickly discover we are very, very wrong.
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"I guess I'll start off. I'm not sure how things work around here, if you can post a story on your own thing... but I actually got an idea so. Here it goes:\n\nThe doors slide open, and Garrett staggered forward.\n\nThe scene he arrived to was like something out of the dreams of a prodigy, the collective cloud consciousness of all the worlds greats, coming together and screaming and laughing and dancing a song into existence. Dim, almost colorful light flooded the usually white and sterile facility. The lab was now a scene of hormones and giddy pride, as if the researchers had not a care in the world, save their next conversation and drink. The air was thick with sweat and charged by floating emotions and fluttering electronic hums.\n\nHe was finally back from the beginning, and his breath stuttered and struggled for release from his cramped lungs. The first researcher noticed him, and her face went numb, dropping from a smile to a transfixed stare. All eyes were locked on him now, the celebration sputtering to a broken silence. \n\nThe scientists gathered around. And finally the first one spoke, with energy and restrained excitement...and almost a reverent horror.\n\n\"H-how was it?\" Her words were piercing, if not flimsy.\n\nThe young scientist dropped to his knees, and his colleagues quickly intervened to save him from his own weight, supporting his frame. Some of them smiled, as if the moment cut through the gravitas and threw them some solace from the events. By now the room erupted into a jovial set of chuckles, and again, the lady asked. \n\n\"Well? You've got a lot of stories to tell, I hope you took notes! ...You did take notes right?\" She looked back at the others and felt reassured as they smiled.\n\nAnother, older man spoke up.\n\n\"Ey, Garrett? \"Did you ask the man upstairs about my Elena, or did Buddha pick up the phone?\" The small crowed now echoed jokes and filled itself with laughter. Poor Tony had lost his spouse to a battle with cancer a few years back... it's good that he's taking it well.\n\nThat all stopped when Garrett started crying. Sobbing, in fact. And as the air turned grim, he shakily reaches into his pocket, pulling out an outdated camera phone. He opened up the recordings.\n\n\"God...G-guys, it was beautiful\" And this is the story he told.\n\n\"T-there once was beautiful, silent entity called Nothing. He stood there, and guarded the... well, quite boisterous and n-not so silent entity, his brother Existence, for ages and ages\" He pauses, and gestures \"...holding an iron dominion over the regions of all space.\"\n\nSurely enough, two figures appeared on the small screen of the phone. One was like a gap, and one researcher visibly cringed. It was unsettling... But the other was warm, like a flickering flame.\n\n\"Often, I found t-the two brothers would wrestle and fight, but Nothing was stronger than Existence, and always won.\" Garrett pointed at the clips, as some in the crowd began to take notes and study in awe and disbelief. \n\nA voice sounded. \"That's bullshit, come on, quit pulling our legs...\" . And another.\n\"But it sounds like he's saying we're right?\" The murmurs rose and faded.\n\nGarrett continued. \"That was, until one day, ...that terrible darkness broke. The loud, brave daughter of Existence called Universe set herself free, a-and with it, Father Existence escaped as well. S-she was like none ever seen before... she held elegance and substance against the cold contrast of her uncle, the screaming black Nothing.\" Garrett chuckled, and shook \"God, she was gorgeous.\"\n\nThere was an uproar. The young time traveler had wavered, but wasn't dismayed. \nSome researchers left, knocking over desk items in anger. But still, many stayed, and those who stayed listened closely. \n\n \"...W-with that, and as time passed, Nothing began to retire and grow weary, and his features became ragged.\" Garrett stopped and clawed at his face to emphasize his point. \"He stopped fighting his brother Existence and made sound solitude along the edges of Universe’s providence, and stands there to this day.\"\n\t\nSilence. The researcher grew more confident.\n\n\"Now...Universe fueled herself, almost willed herself into shape and form, spiral disks and clouds of atom and color. Space and Time, once envoys of Nothing, abandoned him, and allied themselves with Universe.\" The small glowing phone showed two child like figures, holding hands, and approach a flame like being. \"The two exuded power in an aura around them, and their eyes were like shimmering diamonds...to me at least\" He sighed.\n\n\"She painted...\" He points. \"...order into her spirit using Time and Space, and from entropy, their powers crafted a new tangibility, in the form of her spirit, Matter.\" \n\nThere was an explosion on the screen, and many more left the room, cursing and sneering. The recording sped up and warped repeatedly, and the span of time dilated, making the small room wonder how long he'd been there.\n\nUnphased, he continued. \"Matter, now tied to a body, a form, dedicated itself to Universe and Existence, and because of its loyalty, spent millions of years creating, \nand finally offering it’s most wonderful and prized possession: Life.\"\n\nMany forms now filled the screen. They all stood together...like a family. Like they were whole. There were few left in the room after this point, Tony, the young lady, and an old, kindly woman possibly no younger than 70.\n\n\"It’s complexity was unmatched, it’s will was unconquerable, like that of its progenitor. Life was part of Existence, Universe, and Matter, under the dominion of Time and Space. It shunned the steely wretch Nothing, it’s perfect enemy and opposite, and through its connection, spent its days understanding, studying and appreciating the three that formed it most highly. It became the sentinal that guarded Universe from Nothing.\"\n\nGarrett looked prideful.\n\n\"Life propagated and flourished, built monuments and made wonderful creations just as Existence had done. But under Time’s eye and Space’s vastness, Life became arrogant. It stopped focusing on the sacred Three, and began turning its mind to frivolous and irrelevant pursuits. It made personal creations, sought to extend itself across Universe as sovereign.\"\n\nTony spoke meekly. \"...What happened to it?\" He was a child again, unable to be anything but just that for the moment.\n\n\"Well...to prevent this, the Sacred Three convened, and sadly agreed to seek Nothing’s help.\" The screen shook back towards the dark figure from before.\n\n\"They pleaded with him to create a barrier to prevent Life from spreading. Nothing nodded, and agreed. He forged a Great Filter from a dark plate of his own being, as the enemy of Life himself, and handed it to her majesty Universe. The three were surprised and humbled, thanked Nothing, and left him to his quiet.\"\n\nThere was silence. Only the young researcher was left. Tony had brought the old woman outside some time ago in a weary haze. The lady was wide eyed and solemn. Her name was Yvette. \n\nGarrett broke down. The recording ended with Nothing staring back, almost out beyond the phone. Yvette came closer and hugged him, comforting him and whispering encouragement as he finally calmed down.\n\n\"H-he...he-h-h\" Garrett stammered, and was softly silenced. \"Shhhh...shhhh it's alright... what did he do\" Garrett composed himself. \"I h-heard his voice...H-he told me...that we were the last ones.\" Yvette stopped. She held him by his shoulders as he continued.\n\n\"We are alone. We're the last o-one's before he wins... Universe w-was tricked... We w-we're tricked.\" He lingered on the last word.\n\n\"We're the last ones she's gonna use the Great Filter on...and then there will be n-no one else to stop Nothing. We've lost.\"\n"
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[WP] You only have 8 marbles left.
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"Samuel’s breathing was shaky as he rummaged through a small duffel bag in the hall closet. His eyes continuously flipped back and forth between his watch and the random knick-knacks and papers that he encountered while digging through the bag. “It’s not here!” He thought frantically to himself. He quickly stood up, leaned back, and noticed his older brother’s red back pack crammed in the corner of the closet’s top shelf. He scurried away and returned a few seconds later, dragging a wooden chair from the dining room table. He threw it against the wall of the closet and stepped up on the chair, holding onto his family’s coats for assistance. \n\nSamuel struggled to reach the bag. Even while on his tip-toes, he was still several inches away from the bag’s strap. Exhausted, Samuel dropped down onto the chair and buried his head into his knees that were being held close to his chest. “Please..make this stop.” He muttered to himself as he began to tear up. He leaned against the coats in the closet and was immediately greeted by the familiar smell of tarnished leather and old cigar smoke. He slowly raised his head and noticed that is was his dad’s tattered, brown, leather barn jacket that was producing the scent. Memories flooded into Samuel’s brain of his dad and times where he was wearing that jacket. He loved helping out his dad when he would work on the tractor or feed the horses. His dad always called Samuel his “little farmhand.” \n\nSamuel then remembered a particular time where he was watching his dad change the oil in the family van. While leaning over the car’s open hood, the keys to the car fell out of his dad’s jacket pocket and bounced around the engine compartment until they precariously landed on a piece of metal tubing. “Dammit.” Samuel’s dad whispered to himself. He then began to hopelessly reach with his arm to grab the keys. Samuel perked up. “I can help! I have an idea.” He ran inside and re-appeared a minute later holding a coat hanger. “Here you go!” Samuel shouted as he gave it to his dad, who in turn smiled and replied, “Good thinking, Sam. Thank you!”\n\nSamuel’s face lit up. Wiping the tears from his eyes, he stood up in the chair, grabbed the hanger that was holding his dad’s jacket, and began to reach for the back pack’s strap. A drip of sweat floated down into his eye. “Come on..” He then felt the tension of the strap against the hook of the hanger. He pulled and nearly fell off the chair when the bag fell onto his head. He frantically unzipped the bag and dug to the bottom of its contents. \n\nSamuel froze for a second. He then carefully pulled his hand from the back pack, holding a small, green marble with a black cat eye-like design in its center with his thumb and index finger. He jumped from the chair and began to run up the stairs that lead to his bedroom. He looked down at his watch. “3 hours left.” \n\nHe pushed open the door to his bedroom and plugged his ears as he shuffled to his bed. A night light by the bedside table illuminated a man dressed in dirty brown robes sitting on the floor against the nightstand. He lifted his pale, bald head as Samuel approached him. He smiled, revealing his filthy, yellow teeth. Samuel placed the marble in his skeleton-like hand. “Thank you, Sam.” The man gently said. “Isn’t this a fun game? I’ve been having a great time with your family.” Samuel glanced at the floor under the two twin beds and could see the faces of his nine family members protruding into the bed aisle. Their mouths were gagged, but their muffled voices could still be heard. Samuel did not like that, so he continued to plug his ears. “Can you please let them go now?” Samuel sheepishly asked the man. “You’ve only given me one marble, Sam. You only have eight left.” The man replied while stroking the hair of Sam’s dad. Samuel frowned. “Can you give me the next clue?” The man smiled, then grabbed a hunting knife from his pocket and handed it to Samuel. “I think I saw one in your dog’s food bowl. If it’s not there, this one might be a little messier.” He then glanced down at the knife in Samuel’s hand. Terror crept across Samuel’s face as he turned and left the room. The man’s chuckling could be heard from the bedroom as Sam walked down the hallway. \n",
"The old man, his hands clutching my suit-coat, his rotting teeth holding back only a fraction of the awful stench coming from his mouth, clutched harder, and shrieked, \"I lost my marbles! LOST MY MARBLES!\"\n\nI managed a thin smile, carefully removing his dirty hands from my person. I stared him down disdainfully. \"Obviously.\"\n\nWith a shudder, he began to cry, sliding down to the sidewalk. I moved on, nearly late for my meeting with the city council. My project was simple, elegant, yet ground-breaking; a work of art, yet practical, and above all, profitable. I carefully patted my inner pocket, verifying the files were still there.\n\nInside the council's offices, I straightened my tie, smiled broadly, and began my salesman's speech, highlighting the good points and letting them discover the great points on their own. I flicked from image to image, secure in my accomplishments. As my presentation concluded, I switched off the images and nearly beamed at the council. For a moment, they whispered among themselves. Finally, the lead councilor turned on his microphone.\n\n\"This is... mind-boggling. My fellow council-members and I hardly know what to think.\"\n\nI couldn't help but grin. Fame and fortune, here I come. \"Thank you, sir!\"\n\nHe shook his head. \"You misunderstand. This work... we would be mad to assent to such a project. As we are in full ownership of our marbles, we will not - *must* not support this project. And, under the Societal Act passed four years ago, I am afraid that aberrant works such as your own *must* be fined.\"\n\nMy grin slipped. Still, no matter; I was young, and had enough ideas for another attempt, and funds to see it through. I bowed, and replied, \"My apologies. I will abandon these plans entirely; I hope that my next project will be more in line with the council's taste.\"\n\nAn aide approached the councilor and whispered in his ear. He blanched, staring at the aide, then at the information he was holding. He turned back, and with a noticeable tremor in his voice, spoke into his microphone. \"The council has voted on the fine. A fair fine, less than half the maximum allowed for this offence. But for an offense of this magnitude... The fine the council has agreed upon is... five.\"\n\nI felt my heart stop. My head swam, and my expensive early-reward breakfast nearly exited my body. I lifted my hands, staring as the effects began to take hold. With that fine, my place in society had dropped too low - I was in the bottom 10%, the dregs. The sleeves of my suit fell apart as the shirt underneath turned a dirty brown. My shiny shoes dulled, then split. My fingernails darkened; I gasped, nearly retching at the fumes that were my breath. My home, I knew, was already falling to ruin, turning into a gutted trailer or an old school bus on blocks. I had nowhere, and nothing. I was ruined. There was no second chance for me.\n\nI felt hands pulling me out, and then I was lurching into the street, an officer staring down at me. I grabbed for his arm, staring up at him, pleading. \"Why is this happening to me?\"\n\nHe flicked my hand from his arm disdainfully. \"You spent your capital, boy. Society measures your worth, and with those crazy ideas, society has given up on you. You're a nutcase. Why don't you go bark at a car, or something? The little social acceptance you have left isn't worth much. Might as well squander it.\"\n\nI sagged to the ground, utterly defeated. \"How... how bad?\"\n\nAs the officer dusted off his uniform and left the door swing shut behind him, I heard him say, \"Kid, you only have eight marbles left.\""
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[WP] You and your friend decide to put on tinfoil hats for fun. As soon as you put yours on, you are unable to hear your thoughts.
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"\" Hey, John. Look I found some tinfoil. Lets do some super cool role play where there are aliens probing everyone and only people in tinfoil hats survive.\" Dave shook a roll of the tinfoil, eagerly opening it and making some crappily shaped hat.\n\n\"Dave no. That's stupid we are NOT doing that. Give me that tinfoil.\" John went to grab the foil.\n\n\"Hecking no this is mine. You disagreed to the idea anyways.\" Dave plopped the hat on his head, his eyes widening. \"John you have to put the hecking tinfoil on your head.\"\n\n\"John you have to put the tinfoil on your head. Make up your mind!\" John mocked him snatching the roll and making a hat. He placed it on his head and he felt off. \"Dave are there some weird space drugs in this? What the heck did you do?\" \n\n\"I wouldn't do that to you. But this is some weird shit.\" \n\n\"Daaaaaaaa\" John's words were slurring and his eyes were glazed over. His legs were wobbling and drool was dripping from his mouth.\n\n\"Dude, quit acting like some newborn baby. We're supposed to be saved from the aliens. Not mind raped by them.\" Dave shook his frame lightly, watching as John remained unresponsive. \"Bro. You're scaring me say something. Is this hat messing with your brain waves? I thought that was some childhood thing.\" Dave took off both of their hats, finding it odd that John took a couple of seconds to snap back to reality.\n\n\"Dave. We are NEVER doing that again. I felt like I was mind raped by an alien. I couldn't think of anything. What the heck stopped you from going all mind raped?\"\n\n\"My cool aura blocked it.\" Dave pressed his cool shades back onto his face.\n\n",
"The silence was deafening. In simple terms, that meant it was so quiet that your thoughts were like pained screams inside your head. Except with me it was the inverse. I was nine when it first happened. I was just sitting on a step with my best friend Thomas, passing the time on that unbearably hot, sticky and ozone clogged day. We were discussing star wars characters, like most friends do, when he had a \"brilliant\" idea.\n\n\"Let's make hats to protect us from the sun,\" he had said.\n\nTom was deep into astronomy. He wanted to be an astronaut. He knew all of those random facts they sell in children's books. He knew the sun's rays were harsh. He knew sunscreen was the best answer, but like most scientists, Tommie favored ingenuity. \n\nI replied: \"Sure.\"\n\nWe ran inside to look for materials. He found tinfoil first. He always found things first. We assembled the hats with folding taping and minimal elbow grease. We stepped outside and placed them on our heads.\n\nIt hit me like a dump truck full of bricks.\n\nMy mother was reading me some book about a deaf and blind girl that I wasn't paying attention to. I now knew what that felt like. I could see, hear, and use all of the three remaining senses, but it was like input with no output. I was past scared. I looked around to find Thomas but he was nowhere to be found. I thought he was dead, or I had killed him. In a way, I did.I threw off the hat, screaming and crying, racing my way inside.\n\nTwenty years later, and I've graduated college with a degree in law. I work in a law firm, like one with the cheap green screen commercial. Not a single piece of tinfoil has touched my head since. I haven't talked to Thomas for a few years. Then again, twenty nine is a little old for imaginary friends.",
"I felt a little silly to tell the truth. When Sophie produced two tinfoil hats she had made from behind her back, I had been wary to try it. I didn't want to look weird in front of her, and besides, a hat of any type would ruin my hair. But all it took was a sly smile from Sophie, the kind that dominates just one side, revealing her mischievous self. I was a sucker for her smile.\n\n\"Come on, Dan,\" she chirped, holding one hat out to me. She grinned again and placed it firmly in my hands. \n\nI inspected the hat closely. \"Quality craftsmanship!\" I exclaimed, perhaps a bit too loudly. I glanced down at my hat. The rim would create a little dent in my hair, in from of Sophie no less, and then what would I do? Sophie noticed me warily considering the hat, and lunged forward to ruffle my hair. I stumbled back with a yelp as she giggled.\n\n\"Now you don't need to worry about messing your hair up.\"\n\n\"Well you've left me no choice,\" I sighed, \"this better fit me.\"\n\n\"Oh it will, don't worry. I made it extra big to compensate for your ego,\" she spluttered, and whacked my shoulder in that friendly way. She placed her hat upon her head and frowned.\n\n\"Feel any different?\" I teased. \n\n\"Hmm,\" she put her hand on her hip, in apparent deep thought, \"it's a lot quieter. I think it's definitely working.\" Her tone was so serious that I thought for a moment she was telling the truth until she burst out with laughter.\n\n\"Come on, Mr Gullible,\" she wheezed, clutching her sides, \"your turn to try a hat.\"\n\nI shot her a small smile and brought the hat up to my head.\n\n\"Feel anything?\"\n\nHeart beating fast. A smile. Faster. Arm touched. Sweating. Too hot. Ache. Hungry. Path to building. Building has food. Legs move. Frequently contact with feet. Arm swing. Arm grabbed. Minor pain. Minor pleasure.\n\n\"Are you okay? Where are you going?\"\n\nWords, words. Caring. Emit noise.\n\n\"Sorry, I don't speak mumble.\" \n\nAche. Hungry. Move. High noise. Arm grab. Juddering.\n\n\"Can you just stop for a minute?\" Sophie cried out, her hands tight around my arm. The hat had fallen to my feet. \n\n\"What the fuck just happened?\" I mumbled, my hands cupping my face as I stared down at the hat. \n\n\"I'd like to know too actually. It was weird, you're back now, but it was like you had just zoned out for a minute, but really extremely.\" Sophie looked concerned. \n\nI swallowed hard, then broke into as real a grin as I could manage, \"I was just playing around.\"\n\n\"Oh,\" she murmured, \"so you didn't feel anything either?\"\n\n\"No, obviously, it's just tinfoil Soph.\" I smiled and she let out a small laugh.\n\n\"This was silly.\"\n\n\"Yeah, but fun,\" I said, trying to keep my tone even, \"let's grab lunch, I'm starving.\" \n\nSophie began to walk ahead towards the cafeteria. As soon as her back turned I picked up the hat and crumpled it into a jagged ball. I threw it into the nearest bin, ran my shaking fingers through my hair quickly and made after Sophie.",
"She and I giggled as we folded the aluminum into little bowls for our little heads. We giggled at the idea that foil hats would block mind control rays from the TV, something a friend had told us. We giggled at the fact that we knew we'd get in trouble, we had used the last of the foil and her mom would be furious when she found out. We giggled because giggling makes things fun.\n\n\"I don't think it's working\" I said aloud after having mine on for a few moments. \"I still think my mind is being controlled\". She snickered at me \"Okay then, dance monkey!\". I stood up and danced a ridiculous jig in a mocking fashion, then as I went to be seated I stumbled and fell. I tried to catch myself on the coffee table but I ended up knocking my head against it instead.\n\n\"Are you okay?!\" she belted out, and I recall that I didn't know. A small cherry colored patch of red skin flanked a narrow slice in my forearm and blood dribbled out slowly. I could feel the cold wetness of the blood, but there was nothing else. No pain, no worry, no thought at all. \"You're bleeding\" she said as she approached me, \"let's go to the kitchen and clean you up, and get some ice on your head.\". \n\nThe cleaning and bandaging of my arm was both extremely loud and extremely quiet. I heard the sounds as I had never heard them before. The water running, the bandage package opening, the trash can lid slamming shut. It was as if someone had turned the volume up on my life, but something was missing. I knew I had been hurt though I had no feeling. I felt no pain, and I didn't care. Not until she took off my cap to push a bag of frozen peas against my temple did the explosion of pain and chatter come back. \"OuchAmIOkay?DoIHaveAConcussion?AmITired?\". Hundreds of thoughts talked over each other so that I couldn't properly piece them apart. That was the first time it happened.\n\n\"Today's the day\" it read on the calendar near the fridge. I walked past a can filled with empty foil containers and bottles of warehouse brand vodka. My stride was brisk as I enter my room and open my closet. The clothes had been picked long ago, it was simply a matter of retrieving them and laying them out. After they had been neatly placed on my bed I shed the current ones and made for the bathroom, turning the shower knob to hot. With the door closed the steam billowed and fogged up the mirror. Meticulous cleaning seemed both strange, and necessary. The water sounded a bit like rain on a window as it cascaded off my head. Minutes later a nice big clean towel enveloped me in warmth as I dried off. I set about preparing for the important evening as I had dozens before tonight, aside from the occasional beads of water dripping from above. Back in my bedroom I donned the apparel I had prepared, checking the mirror after each article to ensure its placement was correct. I laid down and clutched a single piece of paper. \n\n\"No second thought without first.\"",
"\"Bro, my mom's gonna *kill* me if she finds out we wasted the rest of the tinfoil!\" Derrick sputtered, tossing now empty box into the trash. I laughed.\n\n\"Dude, you're 28!\" I remind my childhood friend. The poor man was some combination of drunk and high, technically making him a *hunk*. My series of weird thoughts, coupled with our latest late night decision, remind me that I was in a similar state. \n\nHe chortled, wrapping the foil around his head and meshing it over his curly brown hair. As soon as it was to his liking, he threw both fists into the air in triumph. \n\n\"Woo!\" he cheered, stumbling backward but not falling. \"Fuck you, Elon Musk!\" he chortled to himself again before closing his eyes and leaning back against the kitchen counter. \n\n\"So, this'll stop the aliens *and* the Feds from reading our thoughts?\" I joked, slapping Derrick on the shoulder. He flinched, but gave no other response. *Dude's wasted!*\n\nI shrugged, \"One small step for man...\" I said in my best Armstrong impression as I wrapped the foil around my own crown, pushing the string flaxen hair into a sort of bun in the process. \"One giant-\"\n\nHave you ever had a pain you didn't know about? Like, your back is sore from sitting at a weird angle and then, as soon as you lie down, there's the sweet virtually orgasmic moment of relief? That's the only way I can describe what I felt.\n\n\"D....der.... deh... dah.....ich...\" I mustered, trying to slap Derrick on the arm again and get his attention. This time he opened his eyes, two glassy marbles staring back at me. It was like someone had replaced his eyes with marble copies of his original eyes! His eyes, however, were not like normal; they had a glaze to them, a brightness from shine but not from life. As soon as his eyes opened, err, his *eyelids* opened to.... reveal his.... I slapped his arm again to get his attention. \n\nDuncan fell to the floor, his head and foil hat hitting the tiles like a rock. \"Daniel!\" I shouted, reaching down to help him. I ended up tripping over him, falling face first into our frig. Our downstairs neighbors were out for the weekend, fortunately, so we didn't have to worry about explaining that thud to them this time. \n\n\"Dennis, what happened?\" I came to, my lifelong friend lying face first on the ground. He had a sheet of silvery wrap over his head, like one of those conspiracy theorists you see on TV. I shook him, checking for a pulse. His was slow, but fortunately existent. \n\nI rolled him onto his back, his mouth and eyelids twitching. \"Damien, open your eyes fam.\" I muttered, lifting his right eyelid for him. \n\nHis eyes didn't move even after this, but remained motionless with a glazed look. His eyes look like... those things we used to play with as kids. You know, the rolling ones? His pupils were massive, like that of a cat, except they had a glazed look to them.\n\nI collapsed next to him and closed my eyes. \n\nWhen I opened them, a man was lying on the floor next to me. He was burly dude, bearded with tufts of brown hair spilling out of some sort of crazy hat covering his crown. Wanting to see more, I pealed the shiny cap off his head, even more curly brown hair spilling out. \n\nHe eyes finally opened as he shot up, taking a massive gasp of air. \"Fam?\" he called, likely waking everyone in the city block. \"Fam!\" he shouted, looking right at me. He quickly ripped the foil off my head and I felt a rush like no other, followed by a blinding light. \n\nI awoke to Derrick, my childhood friend and best bro, standing in the corner looking at two pieces of tinfoil. I got up off the kitchen floor, not sure how I'd gotten there, and leaned against the counter. My nose was bleeding and I felt strangely lightheaded. It felt like a hangover, but better, if that makes any sense.\n\n\"Bro, what were we on last night?\" he asked, perplexed by the tinfoil in particular. I shrugged, \"Fam, what *weren't* we on last night?\". He chuckled, patting his right pocket \"I think I lost my phone...\" \n\nI laughed and snatched one of the foil hats from him. \"Dude, tinfoil hats? Really?\" . He kept examining the one in his hand. \"Dude, my buddy told me these stop the aliens from reading your thoughts. Wanna try it?\" \n\n\"Dude, you've lost your marbles..\" I joked, putting the hat on just for the fun of it. \n\n\"See?\" I said, \"If Elon Musk wants to read my thoughts, this isn't going to stop him. Just let the man get back to his home planet in peace, alright?\" I joked, collapsing to the floor. \n\n\n\n"
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[WP] You just received a call from your assistant. The end of the world will be in 5h and it will be announced in 3h. You are one of the VIPs who has access to a survival bunker and you may take 5 people with you.
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"It took a moment for his words to sink in.\n\nI opened the door and called my assistant into my office. \"Have a drink, Jon,\" I said as I poured a couple of glasses. \"Can you verify this information?\"\n\n\"Unfortunately, sir, I can. All the passwords were correct, a courier delivered the documentation, and Mr. Fitz called to let me know personally. He was very brief about it, but I assume he has a lot of phone calls to make and not a lot of time to make them.\"\n\nI stood up and looked out the window, twirling the amber liquid in my glass.\n\n\"Well, I suppose you'll have to cancel my four o'clock then.\"\n\nJon managed a weak smile, but it didn't last long.\n\n\"Sir, you've been good to me, so I wanted to stick around for a while, but we never expected this so soon. I have to go, and I hope you understand.\" He stood up to leave.\n\n\"Jon, wait.\"\n\nHe froze with his hand on the doorknob.\n\n\"Obviously, I won't ask you to keep this a secret any longer, as if you'd do it anyway... Hmm. Just know that it's been good. Farewell, Jon\"\n\n\"Farewell, Mr. Poster. It has been good.\"\n\nHalfway out the door, I stopped him once again.\n\n\"One more thing, Jon.\" \n\nHe turned and looked over his shoulder. \n\n\"Tell your mother I said good bye.\"\n\n"
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[WP] [TT] Not all monsters are bad, but not all men are good.
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"Little Damien scooted to the edge of the bed and peeked over. \"Growl, are you there?\" Damien asked the monster that was not there.\n\nDownstairs, outside of his small room, there was commotion. Damien's father was having another one of those nights where he reeks of beer.\n\nDamien did his best to block out the yells with his forearms. \"I'm not afraid of you anymore. You're scary, but I'm not afraid of you.\" He wasn't expecting a response from beneath his bed, but deep down he was anxious there would be one. Damien wondered what the monster's voice would sound like. \"You... umm. Where do you get here from? Is there another place you can get to from there? Like a portal?\"\n\nThe yelling from downstairs grew louder, punctuated with a crash of some sort.\n\nDamien pulled his covers up to get a better view of the gap under his bed. \"Growl. Dad said monsters are only here to make scared boys into brave men. I pinky swear I'm not afraid.\" He reached out his pinky finger an waited. Damien had fading bruises on his frail forearm; ones that a monster that wasn't there would have surely noticed. \"You scared me. For a long time. But not anymore cause you never hurt me. Growl?\"\n\nFootsteps thundered on the stairs leading to Damien's room.\n\n\"Growl!\" Damien whispered desperately. \"Is there a way out of my room from under there? Please tell me!\"\n\nDamien's father reached his door. \"Damien! What did you tell—\" He tried to open the door forcefully but it was held closed by a chair Damien had leaned against the knob. \"You little f—ooh, you're gonna get it this time!\"\n\n\"Growl?\" Damien rolled off of the bed and slid under his bed.\n\nDamien's door flung open with a mighty kick. His father drunkenly fumbled the light switch on. \"Don't try to hide from me!\"\n\nHis mother yelled from downstairs, \"leave him alone!\"\n\n\"He's *my* boy. I'll do what I want with'im! Come out, Damien! Come out or you'll get it ten times worse!\" The bed sheets fluttering at the edge of the bed caught his eye. He stomped over and ducked under the bed to grab Damien. \"Come here you li—\" Damien's father grabbed air. He lifted the covers completely from over the edge to get a good look.\n\nDamien wasn't there."
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[WP] All super-villain henchmen are actually undercover spies. They feign ineptitude to sabotage the evil mission. The super-villains are starting to catch on.
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"\"Y-know, Morris...I've noticed something about you...\"\n\nI watch him watch me watch him. Then I watch him watch me watch him watch me pull out a big, shiny, silver *knife*.\n\n\"Oh! Sharp!\" I giggle, poking the knife's tippy-top (toppy-tip?) into my finger.\n\nI frown when he doesn't laugh along. Of course he can't with his mouth taped up - but still...\n\n\"C'mon, Morry, boy! Stop looking so uptight! *Get loose*.\" \n\nOf course he can't with his body all tied up - but still...\n\n\"Anyway,\" I continue, waving a dissapointed hand through the air. \"As I was *saying*...I couldn't help noticing how...*everytime I take you along with me*...\"\n\nI hear sirens in the distance. I see hope in his eyes.\n\n\"...Oh, are those your buddies coming to save you?\" I whisper.\n\nAnd the fear that fills his eyes are almost as delicious as the tears that begin rolling down his cheeks.\n\n\"Mmmuab mahsbd majshhdbd mshshdhdb,\" he blubbers through the tape, rocking himself into a frenzy against the ropes. \n\nI pat his head. \"Oh, Mor...\" I purr. \n\nThe knife twirls. His eyes follow. Red and blue lights swirl through the window, and light up the room with an odd - disco vibes as cop cars screech to a halt in the street. \n\n\"Listen...\" I whisper.\n\nAnd we hear it. The pounding. The slamming of the downstairs door being knocked off its hinges. Screaming. Yelling. Gunshots. The creaking of stairs as the officers climb higher and higher. \n\nHe begins to *screeeeeeeeeeeeam* louder and **LOUDER** and I just let him.\n\nFor a brief moment, they're outside the door, and the sheer relief in his eyes is enough to make one want to laugh until you can't breath and your cheeks hurt.\n\nThen after awhile, of them padding around, he hears them say, loud and clear, \"Nobody here. Must be in the wrong building. Dispatch units to every single building on this block.\"\n\nAnd then they were...\n\n\"Gone,\" I chuckle.\n\n\"Nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu,\" he moans, hanging his head as I try to remember what animal that noise he made reminds of.\n\nI snap my fingers. \"A whale! That's it!\"\n\nHe's still crying, so I go and kneel by him. \"Listen, if it makes you feel any better, the cops were never coming for you. I didn't know *for sure* if you were an undercover cop or not, so I staged this whole thing. The rescue and all that.\"\n\nHe looked up at me, wide-eyed.\n\n\"Yeah!\" I laughed. \"You might have actually made it out of here alive if you just stayed cool this whole time.\"\n\nI pursed my lips. \"But you didn't. So time to die.\""
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[WP] After an accident took your life, you find yourself sitting in a comfy leather chair in an executive office. The Grim Reaper sits behind a desk in front of you, a stack of papers in front of him, and offers you a job.
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">\"Why hello there Doctor.\"\n\n\"Oh, you must be the Grim Reaper if I'm not mistaken, pleasure doing business with you today, how may I assist you?\"\n\n>\"I'll get straight to the point, you died and I'm here offering you a job in the afterlife. Of course I don't mind reviving you for your soul but you'll be an entirely different person with no memory without a soul.\"\n\n\"Actually I'll take you up on that offer.\"\n\n>\"Are you sure? You won't be able to get a job after dying again without a soul you know?\"\n\n\"Oh certainly I know, thats why I transplanted eight other souls into me while do a few operations.\"\n\n>Well, I'm afraid I'm not allowed to accept that, your body is all mangled up and unless I use my powers, you won't be able to be revived. Besides, you can become cautious after this and you could probably extend your lifespan with those souls.\"\n\n\"I knew that, but I'm sure you're smart enough to trick me into giving you those souls. I'll be kept in touch with you after giving you a soul afterall. And I must say, thats a pretty neat tie you have there.\"\n\n>\"I'm sorry but I'm no—\"\n\n\"But I must say you have a pretty nice tie there.\"\n\n*The Grim Reaper looked down at his tie, examining it before taking it off and handing it over to the Doctor.*\n\n\"Very good, you tricked into buying this tie with one of my souls. Now, chop chop, make my body normal again.\"\n\n*In a flash, the Doctor wakes up in his torn suit. His body was unscathed and moving didn't hurt. His tie was stuck on a branch which poked through the window of the car. Carefully looking at his hand, he saw the Reaper's tie, all in black, looking stylish. The Doctor put the tie around his neck and said*\n\n*\"Thank you for that, I'll see you in another 32 years.\"*\n\n>\"I'll get all your souls before then.\"",
"\nI awoke to a terrible chill that resonated down my spine. \n\nMy eyes flashed open and slowly began to focus and my fingers gripped what seemed to be a leathery chair.\n\nBut… but it can’t be. \n\nThe last thing I can wrap my head around… Is a car crash?\n\nYeah…\n\nA searing pain blocks my head and I let out a dull heave\n\nIt was a car crash. I was in my car with my wife. Her name… Diane! Yes! Diane. She was with me. We were going down the high way and the car on the other side swerved….\n\nWait…\n\nWhere am I? Am I dead. What’s wrong with me. \n\nMy eyes gazed upon a tall, thin man sitting down in front of me. Chin held high and hair slick as a tar. He had a smirk on his face and a big black cane leaning against his desk. He wore a suit. A nice, clean, business suit. On the desk in front of him was a neat and tidy stack of papers, a calendar with names, and a picture of what I presumed to be his wife.\n\n“H… Hi” I mumbled.\n\n“Hello Daniel, How are you?” He said in a calm voice.\n\n“H… H… How do you know my name!? Where am I? Where’s Diane?” I was starting to get angry.\n\n“Please keep your voice down, we have people working here” he said in the most professional way possible.\n\n“Where the fuck am I?” I demanded.\n\n“You’re dead. You died. Dead.” He said.\n\n“WHAT?!” I stuttered.\n\n“Expired…. Gone. Departed. What other words do you need” He said in a sarcastic tone.\n\n“Where’s my wife? Where am i? Why am I here?” I said.\n\n“Your wife? She’s fine. She’ll be patched up and good as new in a few days. As for you, you are no longer a human being. You are in a place called purgatory. In between heaven and hell. You are here because I requested for you to be her-” I cut him off.\n\n“YOU KILLED ME?!” I yelled.\n\n“Quiet. Down. Now. Or else I will not require your assistance and find some else. Do you understand me?” He gritted through his teeth.\n\nI nodded my head anxiously\n\n“Now. As I was saying. I requested for you to be here. No. I didn’t kill you. I knew your fate was soon to come so I just put out a request that your body was to be delivered to my office immediately.” He said\n\n“Wait. I didn’t get your name”\n\n“I don’t have one.”\n\n“Then who are you?”\n\n“They call me the reaper. The Grim Reaper”\n\nI looked in horror\n\n“I’m not going to hurt you Daniel. Normally, I pick up the bodies and take them to heaven or hell, however you are special. You are different.”\n\n“So why do you need me”\n\n“You have two options as of now. You can A) either become my assistant and train to become the next reaper or B) Go to hell.”\n\n“Why. Why me.”\n\n“You’ve never done anything bad to anyone without having a reason. You’ve never hurt anyone on purpose. You met your wife when you were in high school and kept that relationship since then. You love her.”\n\n“What about that time I beat the living Christ out of that kid in clas-“\n\n“You knew he was hurting and teasing your friend for months. You knew about how your friend was thinking about ending her life”\n\n“The time I threw a rock at that girl on her bike”\n\n“She stole 20 dollars from your mom a while back and you were upset because your mum couldn’t afford to go out and buy herself something nice on her birthday”\n\n“Wow. I really haven’t done anything bad have I?\n\n“Nope.”\n\n“So when do I start”\n\n“Now”\n\nHe threw me a suit and a cane.\n\n“Get dressed” He said\n\nWithin 5 minutes I was fully dressed and I looked dapper. I grabbed the cane and walked over to him. He looked me up and down with a slight smirk of approval. \n\n“Ready? I have a surprise for you” He gleamed\n\nWith a snap of his fingers we appeared at a house. It. Felt. Familiar. It was mine. It was Diane’s. It was our house. Panic set in. I ran to the door with the Grim Reaper himself trialing behind. I sped to the kitchen to see nothing\n\n“She’s upstairs Daniel.” He yelled from the front door\n\nI stumbled up the stairs to find my wife. My beautiful wife. laying on the floor. Dead. She had a bottle of pills surrounding her that she clearly overdosed on\n\nA letter was taped to the wall in front of her. It read\n\nTo whoever reads this,\n\nMy name is Diane Adams. My loving husband Daniel just passed away a day ago and I cannot live without his presence. He was everything to me. I’m sorry it had to end this way. I could not see myself without him. I love him too much to let him slip away from me like that. He was my everything. Goodbye. \n-Diane Adams.\n\n“Oh my god! WHAT IS THIS?!” I yelled\n\n“It’s your wife.” He replied\n\n“I FUCKING KNOW THAT.” I screamed\n\n“Calm down Daniel”\n\n“NO. IM NOT GOING TO CALM DOWN WHEN MY WIFE IS DEAD IN FRONT OF ME”\n\nHe picked her up. But it wasn’t her body. He picked up what seemed to be ghostly version of her. With a tap of his cane, we were standing in his office again. I was sitting in his chair and he was in mine. I glanced to my right to see my wife standing next to me. Visually shaken.\n\n“Good luck Daniel.” He said softly\n\n“Excuse m-“ before I could finish my statement, he vanished. Leaving nothing but the smell of hair gel behind.\n\n“Daniel where are we?!” Diane called out\n\n“It’s going to be ok”\n\n",
"\"Three hundred and seven times,\" the Reaper said leaning on his desk. His voice was weirdly human and casual. \n\"Sir?\" I replied. \n\"You've dodged me. Hundreds of times,\" he said \n\"I've never seen you in my life. Speaking of, what's going on here? I'm dead? Almost dead? Dying? Visiting?\"\n\nThe Reaper tossed back his hood, sighed and reclined back into his chair, bouncing ever-so-slightly forward. He had a sharp, good-looking face.\n\n\"Do you remember Smuggler's Notch?\" he asked. \n\"Like, ten years ago?\" I asked, confused. \n\"Yeah. Yeah, ten years ago. Do you know the kind of concentration it takes to conjure a tree in less than a second?\" \n\"I'm not sure I understand.\" \n\"You wouldn't. How about a year ago. The electrical work on your house. The mislabeled breaker panel that you for some reason trusted?\" \n\"That was...\" \n\"Me.\" \n\nAt this pint, the Reaper stood up and started pacing.\n\n\"2008. You slipped standing on the gunwale of your boat. Never fell. A half a year later you were given a poisoned meatball sub. You took a nibble, didn't like it, and gave it to a homeless person. He died by the way.\" \n\"Jesus,\" I replied \n\"Oh, I'm not done. Skydiving. Orange, Massachusetts. Primary and reserve 'chute sabotaged. You landed in a tree, five broken bones. Back to work in a year. Fall of 2010. A large tunnel ceiling tile was sabotaged to fall on your truck as you passed through. You let somebody into your lane in front of you.\" \n\"He...\" \n\"No, they. They died.\" \n\"Fuck, man.\" \n\"You see. Everybody thinks all it takes is a touch, a little touch with my fingers.\"\n\nAt this, the Reaper extended his arms, almost inhumanly, toward me, wiggling his fingers.\n\n\"You see this fingers? Flesh and bone. If only it were that easy. But it isn't. Oh, and I don't kill *everybody*. That doesn't make sense. No, I kill *some* people. I don't ask why, I don't ask how, I don't ask anything. I just get told who and I make it happen. Or I try to make it happen. Yeah, I get some extra-physical abilities here and there. But. Mostly I have to plot, arrange, and execute within the physical constrains of your ridiculous world. It's. Not. Easy. But I'm good at my job.\" \n\"What does this have to do with anything?\" \n\"January 26, 2011.\" \n\"My dad's birth...the fire? That was you?\" \n\"You didn't go!\" the Reaper shouted. \"Who doesn't go to his own dad's birthday?\" \n\"I told him I had to..\" \n\"Bullshit. Two people died needlessly because you're selfish.\" \n\"Ok,\" I pleaded, \"I've had enough.\" \n\"Oh have you? I'm so sorry. You've. had. e. nough. What about me?\"\n\nThe Reaper, after a moment of silence, sat back down. He placed his hand on his chin and slid an envelope across the desk to me. It was a regular business-sized envelope with my name on it. \n\n\"What's this?\" I asked. \n\"Open it,\" the Reaper said smugly, adding the word \"obviously\" almost inaudibly. \n\nI ripped the envelope open with my index finger, trying not-too-hard not to damage the contents, whatever they may be. Inside, I found a letter which I skimmed. It was a job offer. \n\n\"Is this a...?\" I started. \n\"No. Not even close. You don't just get my job because you're impossible to friggin' kill. It's entry-level.\" \n\"I don't follow.\" \n\"Of course you don't. Look, I'm death. I kill people. There's also Maim. She does paralyzing and the like. We also have a guy who drives people mad. Tough job, that. I-i-it doesn't matter. Listen. My bosses saw the job you did driving me up a wall, and well, there offering you a job delivering minor inconveniences and annoyances to select targets.\" \n\"So I'd be like a god of slight-annoyances?\" \n\"No. Nothing like that. You'll be like a regular person whose job it is to make certain people's lives marginally more difficult. You will, however, be given some more-than-natural tools to use.\" \n\"Such as?\" \n\"Well. You can, to an extent, conjure some clouds. Make it drizzle. Crash computers. Alter GPS routes. That's a good one. Look. It's not a bad gig.\" \n\"Do I get paid?\" \n\nAt this, the Reaper just laughed. He then slid his hood back on and his face was engulfed in a thick blackness.\n\n\"Do I even have a choice?\" I asked. \n\"No not really.\" the Reaper responded. \n\"Okay, so when do I start.\" \n\"Right now. Here's your first target.\" \n\nThe Reaper slid a notecard with a name on it to me. Reading the name, I laughed.\n\n\"Is this serious?\" \n\"Of course.\"\n\nThe name on the card was ...\n\n*to be continued*\n\n\n"
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[WP] Time stops around you and a man appears in front of you. He calls himself The Traveller and informs you that you are one of six participants in a survival game with the lone survivor becoming the representative of Earth.
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"\"So.......I have the opportunity to rule the Earth?\"\n\n\"Not rule it. Represent it. Although, the position of representative to the Legislation will give you quite the status here.\" said the alien who took the form of a black cloaked old man under the spooky \"Traveler\" gimmick.\n\n\"Yeah, but, why me though?\" I asked.\n\n\"Because you are one of the most depressingly common types of people on this planet. And I picked you out of a hat.\"\n\n\"That's what I thought. No thanks.\"\n\n\"Really?! You'd be great at it......uh.......\"\n\n\"Melanie.\"\n\n\"Melanie!\n\n\"No.\"\n\n\"What! Really?If you don't take this opportunity then some other member of another race will cause what happens to humanity! I'm giving you guys a chance!\"\n\n\"Well I'm not gonna be the one who dies to some random space squid. Sorry, but I think I will just be an embarrassment to humanity anyway. Find someone else.\"\n\nHe growled. \"Should have expected complications from the pale bitchy trainwrecks that are human teens. You truly are the most accurate representation of them huh?\"\n\nI smiled a sarcastic smile before slowly pulling up my hand and giving this guy the bird. \nI felt proud of myself for flipping off a shapeshifting alien. But then, I felt less proud because I couldn't put the finger back down.\nThe Traveler slowly strode up to my frozen body.\n\n\"You'll be alright. Please reconsider. \" he said before everything went black.\n\nI awoke on an unfamiliar bed. I saw the sheets first when I woke up due to the careless way they threw my unconscious body onto my bed. They were a neon green.\nI lept up from my bed upon realizing my abduction. \nI saw that the walls around me were neon green. I also saw that there was a circular window to the outside.\n\nThere were only stars.I'm in space. Fuck.\n\nThere's nowhere I could run to now. But I could at least try. I turn around and see a silver door behind me with no knob.\nI beat on the door a million times.\n\"Hey!!! Let me out!!! I'm not playing this stupid game!!! Why did you shitheads send a guy to ask me if you're just gonna kidnap me?! Let me the hell out!!\"\n\nSuddenly, the speaker on the ceiling I was unaware of until now let out a dull long beep.\n\n\"It wasn't asking. It was informing.\" said a high-pitched voice over that intercom. \"And we didn't send him. We wish we could control the Traveler. But, he actually just came and brought you to the Capital Planet, said you'd be a contestant, and we were too scared to tell him that humans are dumb and fragile.\"\n\nI would have taken offense to that statement if I were in the position to protest. Instead I merely sat down on the bed and pouted.\n\nOne of the things I noticed in my pouting was that I was wearing something different than before.\nI hadn't noticed it before because it was so light that it felt like I was naked. And also I was too busy seeing that I was being held prisoner by fucking aliens to check my fashion.\nHowever, it still wasn't good fashion anyway.\nIt was a full-body neon green suit with the number \"4\" on the chest that went from my shoulders to my feet, which had shoes on them that looked sorta like swim shoes.\nThe incredibly small clear lines that ran across my suit stretched as I walked around. It looked like I was teasing the leather fetish of the Jolly Green Giant.\n\nBefore I had time to throw up on my outfit to make it look better, a small screen came out of the wall to the left of me, beeped just like the speaker did, and came on.\n\n\"First,the latest updates on the games.\" said a computer-generated voice on the screen while a slideshow of images played onscreen.\n\n\"Many fans across the galaxy have been expressing outrage over the Traveler's pick for this decade's Games being a \"human\", a gender-having hairless apeoid race that has barely reached Class T, competing with many Class I or even Class F races in the tournament. Games fans have said that the Traveler's continuing forced contestants made up of \"weak\" races in the galaxy has continued his reputation as \"the most scheming and smarta## sonofab## in the galaxy\".\n\n\"The Small Stand Tall, the famous rights group for races of low-class planets, has criticized the Traveler for rumors that the human was taken from Earth against her will, calling it \"immoral\" and \"spreads the idea that humans and other races are just items.\"\n\n\"Even though the Traveler is the one who overthrew the Hellords of Old, and established the Legislation, he has been a controversial figure in the belief that he has let his omnipotence go to his head.\"\n\n\"Now for the election bulletin.....\"\n\nThe screen turned off.\n\n\"Just wanted to let you know what you're here for.\"\n\nI turned to my right and saw the black-cloaked man sitting on the green bed.\n\n\"At first their petty hate of me was manageable. But now it is annoying. I work my ass off to kill an ever-burning kabal of Old Gods for them and only 400 years later they hate you. Well no longer.\nI'm not gonna force them to do so through fear though. Although I could. I'm gonna prove them they're wrong. I'm gonna prove to them that I'm as smart as I am powerful.\"\n\n\"That's why I picked you Melanie. I'm gonna prove that even my seemingly stupid choices are good when a simple human wins this shit with no help from me. That way every seemingly dumb choice I make will seem great to them from now on.\nYou are my messiah Mel. So don't suck and die.\"\n\nChains suddenly appeared around my wrists and ankles. \n\"The first even is soon. Go to the teleport room.\" the Traveler said in a low tone.\n\nI walk out the door and into the chrome hallway with, of course, green lights.\n\nOne minute I'm listening to MCR, seemingly only 2 minutes later, I am the unwilling prophet of a selfish cosmic god in a death tournament. Welp.\n\n[End of Part One]\n"
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[WP] Aliens used Earth as a pet cemetery, this leads to humans discovering dinosaur bones.
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"I want someone to write the next \"admission\" into the cemetery. But it's not completely dead. Like almost dead. Like a T-Rex with cancer or something. And it's pissed off because it was abandoned by its fickle alien owners and wants to rage destruction across the human landscape. Sort of like Pacific Rim. "
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[WP] You are a ghost haunting an old house. You enjoy listening to the outrageous ghost stories told about you by teenagers who dare to spend the night. Rarely is there any truth to them, but you enjoy the embellishment, most of the time anyway.
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"I had just settled into my couch for a relaxing night channel surfing and reconnecting with some old high school friends over FacelessBook. Just as I started flipping through channels on the ancient TV, I heard the front door squeak open. I quickly killed the TV and tossed the remote aside.\n\n\"Did you hear that?\"\n\n\"Hear what?\"\n\n\"Over there. Something just got knocked over.\"\n\n*Oh great,* I thought to myself, *this kid again.* As much as I hated the slimeball, he could really tell a story. Of course, not without his own little twists, but who doesn't? I decided to not waste the energy walking. I figured I had made enough noise to lure them to where I was. \n\nSure enough, the footsteps creaked closer. *These kids are lucky I'm not a poltergeist,* I mused, sitting up to watch them creep into the room, *they would've been dead before they reached puberty.* The tall one, the one that came here all to often, came and sat on the couch next to me. I saw the goosebumps crawl across his arm as he began to shiver.\n\n\"You up for show today old man?\" He pulled out a pack of D batteries from his trenchcoat, and set them down on the couch, right in my thigh. I hated him, sure, but his energy is just as good as yours. \"Wish I could bring you something easier to draw from, but building a river is just a bit too much coin.\"\n\n*Fine by me, I always hated the way running water made me feel.* He obviously couldn't hear me, but as I dropped the temperature in the room he understood. I took the time to look over who all he had brought this time. Skater chick, jock, drug dealer, the usual kind of crowd.\n\n\"Before the spirit can manifest, we must summon him.\" The trenchcoat kid quickly stuffed the batteries under the cushions. \"Everyone stand in a circle.\" I took the opportunity to slip out of the room, but not before draining out a battery or two. It's more like sipping a hot cup of coffee than crushing three Red Bulls. As the long, complicated 'summoning' process continued on, I found a nice chair in the kitchen.\n\n\"Videtur!\" His summoning always ended with some loud cry. That was my queue. I dragged the chair across the wooden floor and toppled it sideways. The usual \"What was that?\" \"Over there? \"I need new pants!\" ensued, as I circled around to where the batteries were stashed. The trenchcoat kid was waiting near the couch.\n\n\"That's a new one,\" he stammered out, pulling his coat closer to his body, \"I'll just go ahead and start the story.\"\n\nThis kid could go on for hours. My mysteruious past, my grizzly death, and, my favorite part, my most famous spooks. I never knew I threw an elderly woman down the stairs, or that I could even talk to the living! Apparently I'm quite the linguist. The jock is already pissing his pants by the time I throw the dead body down the stairs.\n\nIn a flash, everyone is out the door. *Gets 'em every time*\n\n",
"It's not that bad. I enjoy being able to float around where I please, but I miss being corporeal. Sometimes, even after 30 years of being ethereal, I try and put my hands on things. I can sometimes make things shake, but that's about it. The best part of all of this is the kids. These dumb teenagers will come in every once in a while -it feels like every couple of weeks but that might be ghost time-, and make up some dumb story to scare each other. By far, my favorite one was when I was a top hat salesman. Apparently, according to these kids, I had taken rest in this old hotel (this house was never a hotel) and fallen off to sleep. My bags were so full of hats that they toppled over on top of me and suffocated me in my sleep. Some say I'm the ghost of a crazy ax murderer. What if I died by my crazy girlfriend who lived in this house and also haunts it? Nope. Never had a girlfriend. Sometimes, the stories go back far far into the past. Some kid said I was some English knight who somehow made it to America hundreds of years before Columbus. I love to here their stories. Sometimes I think these kids should write books. I'd read them. Speaking of books, my death was actually mundane. I was reaching for a book on the top of my shelf. I fell off the ladder (which was not precariously placed as these kids would think), and hit my head. When I woke up, I was dead. I was a ghost. They took my body away, buried it, burned it, or something. To be honest, I don't care. It's not mine anymore. It's not much different to live as a ghost. I can't read books or watch TV anymore, but I have scared teenagers to fill that need. I'll stay here and live. I have plenty of stories. One time, a bunch of middle-aged people came into the house. They had been here before, almost thirty years ago. They told the same stories, but... it was refreshing. They told it in a different light. They told it with a nostalgic tone. It made me feel glad to be a part of something these people remember so dearly. There will always be more kids and more stories. Until the day this house is torn down, there will be more. I don't really know what I'll do then. I have time. I can figure it out. "
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[WP] You are a child in the back seat of your parents car on a road trip to meet your grandparents. You fall asleep and upon awakening you hear your father yelling "We arent lost. I just got turned around is all.". Looking outside you see the trapped souls of the damned in the underworld.
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"\"Dad...\"I murmur wearily, \"I'm tired an-\" \n\n\"Not now!\" My step mother barks at me from the front seat. \n\nI comply but am not happy about it. I've never been happy complying to her and right now isn't any different. \n\nI'm 10, I deserve some respect you know? \n\nI rub my sleepy eyes and blink a few times. Dads murmuring something angrily in the front seat but I can't hear much over the AC. \n\n'Why is it so hot if the AC is on?' I think to myself, and before I can internally go on my attention is commanded to the front windshield. \n\nAn elongated face appears before us. Seemingly crying and dripping what looks like depigminted blood. It's only then that I realize that what once was a grassy highway before my nap, is now a barren cracked field with bone-thin hands and other dismembered body parts strewn about. \n\nI feel my panic rising. I must be having a nightmare again so I try to keep my cool. \n\n\"Wake up, wake up, wake up\" I whisper to myself, and I am met with a crude \"shut up!\" from my step mother. \n\nMy skin starts tingling. This doesn't feel like I'm dreaming anymore. I can feel sweat beginning to bead and my heart beat takes over the majority of my hearing. \n\n\"Ssssssssooooooooon\" the figure before us booms. \n\nI look at my dad and step mom and their faces are purple with fear. The car begins to shake and I can do nothing but sit tight and hope that I awaken soon. \n\n\"ssSSSSOOOON!\" The figure cries louder. I watch as it slithers around to my side of the car and presses its face against the window. \n\nI close my eyes for a beat. I don't want this. I do not like when I have bad dreams like this. I want to wake up so bad but the increasing sense of fear is making me start to believe that somehow this isn't a nightmare. \n\nA rapid tapping makes my eyes spring open, and as I open my mouth to scream at the horrifying figure, I am stricken with a sense of recognition that I can't shake. \n\nIt's silent. My guardians haven't said a word. My eyes are dead locked on this creature and then my heart slows to an even pace. \n\n\"Mom?\" I finally whisper, and the figure presses a claw slowly towards the window. \n\n\"S..on.\" It states again, and as I reach to put my own hand to the glass my step mother reaches towards me and slaps away my hand. \n\n\"You idiot!\" She starts, \"we will get out of this but don't you go believing a demon! What's fucking wrong with you!\" And as the last word flies from her mouth the familiar figure slithers around the car to my step mothers side, pressing its face against the glass so that it makes an audible thud. \n\n\"YYOU!\" It booms, and a great storm of sand whips up from the foreground behind her.\n\n\"SENT ME HERE, YOU STOLE LIFE FROM ME!\" It roars, and before my step mother can react the figure busts a hand through the glass around my step mothers neck and hoists her high. \n\nI grab for my dad but he doesn't flinch. I pat him as I keep keep an eye on the unfolding situation but he doesn't move a muscle. \n\n\"YOU,\" the voice booms again, and with a loud tearing noise my step mothers clothes are ripped off by the figure, exposing a series of scars down her left side that begin to shape shift into sigils. \n\n\"Brenda?\" My dad finally speaks. My step mother is crying and the sound of my heart beat fills my ears again. \n\nMy step mother is shaking but not struggling. Her feet dangle feebly from this creatures grip. \n\n\"I'm sorry.\" She whispers \"David I... she was no good for you, I'm good David.\" \n\nA flame bursts high, surrounding the car and reaching over everything in my line of sight beyond the window. \n\n\"YOU NOT GOOD!\" The creature shrieks, and as the flames grow higher I watch as Brenda disappears amongst a wave that engulfs the arm of the creature holding her. \n\nEverything becomes too bright for me to keep my eyes open. I clench my father as an ungodly noise fills my entire being and the car trembles violently. \n\nIt stops and the figure is back at my window. Smaller than before and staring at me with the same familiar eyes. \n\n\"Son...\" it starts again \"I love you.\" And then she slithers towards the windshield and looks at my father. \n\nThere are tears streaming down his face and he is looking straight at her \n\n\"Julie... I didn't know.\" He whimpers. \"I didn't know. Is she the reason for the acci-\"\n\n\"Shhh..\" the figure interrupts and climbs on the hood of the car, a gentle creaking accompanying her slow movements. \n\n\"I love you too, David.\" And with another too-bright-for-sight flash she was gone. \n\nMy eyes open and we are on a grassy highway. ",
"\"He's coming for him...isn't he\"\n\nI had never heard my father's voice so sorrowful. Throughout my 10 years he's been here for 7. And in all those years I had never heard so much emotion from him. Whatever it was he was sad about I didn't know but I couldn't help but think it had something to do with me. \n\n\"Just keep driving John, there's nothing to be done now. It's best for all of us if we don't make him angry.\"\n\nsurrounding the car were hundreds of reddish brown, semi transparent figures. All bore the faces of men, women, and children, every one of them dead. How I knew they were dead, I didn't know just a gut feeling I guess. Something deep inside me said that they'd all passed from the physical world. One apparition stood out, taller and brighter than the others. It moved off into the blood red mist of wherever we were. \n\n\"Dad...I think we should follow that one\"\n\nThe ground rumbled for a moment. It made me felt like i'd just bee yelled at by my parents. My mother turned to me\n\n\"Thomas, please, you'll just make him angry\"\n\nShe appeared afraid, more so than I'd ever seen her\n\n\"I know he's been there like a...you know, but just once I need to you to call him John\"\n\n\"Okay mom, John...could you please follow that big one, I think it's trying to lead us somewhere.\"\n\nNot seeing any other option He steered the car off to the left. After 10 minutes or so the sea of spirits thinned and the one we had followed now hovered over near a massive stone door. My mother instructed us to exit the car, a request we all followed. As we approached the door I looked around seeing black walls that extended infinitely into the haze. We saw only one way forward and pressed on. \n\nUpon entering we were faced by 3 figures, all impossibly large and sitting upon Obsidian thrones. The 2 on the left and right both appeared to be female, each looking very lively in such a horrible place. But something was obscuring the central figure, almost as if his essence was also that of the very world he ruled. A deep voice boomed from whoever sat in the central throne. \n\n\"YOU FIVE, LEAVE NOW. I MUST SPEAK WITH THE BOY.\" \n\nI was at first unsure of what he meant but after the two women had left an additional 3 figures that flew (that's right, flew) away from their perch atop the central throne. The man then stood, revealing his physical appearance us. \n\nAside from the whole 20 feet tall thing he looked more human than I expected of the kind of the underworld. His raven hair was long and unkept and his skin was impossibly pale. But his eyes, were an unnatural shade of black as if they were nothing but pupils. \n\nIt was here that I realized my parents were kneeling\n\n\"Lord Pluto,\"my mother began,\"why now, we agreed...\"\n\nShe was cut off\n\n\"Martha, you know why, my father stirs within his prison, you too can feel it in your mortal world\"\n\n\"How is that possible, the prophecy...\"\n\n\"The prophesy has become irrelevant\"\n\n\"But he's too young\"\n\n\"WE CANNOT WAIT ANY LONGER\"\n\nWe were all taken aback by his sudden outburst\n\n\"My dear Martha, you of all people should know that time is of the essence. You feel His power rising\"\n\n\"Yes but...\"\n\nShe lowered her head, tears falling from her eyes\n\n\"How long?\"\n\n\"A year, maybe two but every minute you argue with me Martha is a minute that could be spent training the boy\"\n\nI looked back at both of my parents as they rose to their feet. I was confused and scared but knew I could not show it. My parent were broken. They were no longer Mom and Dad, they were John and Martha. With tears streaming down their faces the two of them turned toward the door. While they did not speak yet I knew what they wished to say. Slowly the massive stone door closed behind them and I was left along with the god. \n\nI turned back toward the one I now knew as the god Pluto. He looked toward me with both pity and admiration. As if he saw what I could become yet feared for my more likely fate. He looked into deep into my eyes with that same look as he gestured to another door I had not noticed before\n\n\"Come, we must begin you training...my son\"",
"My dad's voice broke through my haze of sleep, interrupting my dream of not wearing pants in front of my classmates. \"We aren't lost! I just got turned around, is all.\"\n\nMy mom responded in a hushed voice to not wake me. \"Keith, could you please stop being so stubborn! This isn't right at all! Look outside!\" I noticed a strange red glow on the back of my eyelids, and opened my eyes. Lying down in the back seat, I could see the sky through the windows. It wasn't the sunny sky from when we left to gram and gramp's house, but stormy clouds coloured red and black, racing across the sky. I really liked seeing storms and tornadoes and stuff on TV, so I lay down still and watched these new and weird clouds.\n\n\"Listen,\" dad said sternly, \"I updated the GPS before we left, it probably got a virus from Jake's games or something.\" I frowned to myself in the back seat. Dad was always blaming me for computer problems but I knew how to use it way better than him. He keeps on opening emails from random princes and stuff and downloads lame joke toolbars. I turned my head to look at the GPS mounted on the front windshield, and saw the little car icon spinning in circles with no roads anywhere. He probably downloaded the stupid virus.\n\n\"Keith! We need to ask someone for directions!\" Mom was using that same voice that she used on me when I was in trouble somewhere in public. The road started getting really bumpy, so I sat up in my seat.\n\n\"Mom? Dad? Where are we?\" I could see the road in front of us, but we weren't on a road. We were driving on dirt but it looked really dry and cracked, like deserts I saw in cartoons or movies. It was as red as the clouds, and the car was rocking and shaking as we drove across it. I couldn't see any trees or buildings or anything.\n\nMom turned around in her seat, and I saw that she looked pretty worried. \"It's okay honey, Dad just got us a little lost. We'll be to gram and gramp's house soon.\"\n\n\"I'm not lost!\" dad quickly responded. \"I'm pretty sure I drove down here once when I was a teenager. I'll see something familiar soon.\" I could see mom roll her eyes before she turned her head back to the front.\n\n\"Keith, we're not even on a road right now.\"\n\n\"It's just an old dirt road is all, there are lots around here. It's just a detour.\" I knew that when dad called something a detour, he had taken the wrong road and got lost. It happened a lot.\n\n\"Hey Dad, ask them for help!\" I pointed out to the right, where I could see a few people standing around in the middle of this nowhere. \n\nDad exhaled quickly and loudly, which he normally did when he was frustrated. \"Fiiiiine, I'll get some directions. I bet they'll just say to keep going the way I was.\" He turned the car towards them, running over a few big bumps. \"Goddammit\" he mumbled quietly, but still loud enough for me to hear.\n\n\"Language!\"\n\n\"Sorry, dear.\" The car bounced and rumbled over to the group of people, who were standing in a circle and just looking at the ground. Dad hit the brakes a bit hard next to them, and mom gave him a stern look before she rolled down her window. \n\n\"Excuse me, we're looking to get to Metville, do you know the way there?\" The people turned to look at us, and boy, were they ugly. They kinda looked like my great aunt but way worse. They barely had hair and looked really pale and were skinny. A few of them didn't have any eyes or teeth. I've never seen a blind person before. It must really suck. They had strawberry jam all over their clothes and faces, too. Mom always got mad at me for being a messy eater.\n\nI was thrown into the back of my seat as Dad slammed the gas pedal, and the ugly people disappeared behind us. I saw dad gripping the steering wheel, hands turning white like when someone cuts him off when driving. Mom was looking straight ahead, not moving and not saying anything. \"Why didn't you wait for them to tell you where to go?\n\n\"Uh....\" dad paused.\n\n\"They.... uh, they don't speak english, Jake.\"\n\n\"What do they speak?\"\n\n\"I don't know,\" Dad cut in. His voice sounded weird. I'm pretty sure he was going over the speed limit.\n\n\"Maybe they speak english!\" I pointed ahead of us, to another group of ugly people, bigger than the first group. Dad turned sharply to the left.\n\n\"Nope! They don't either.\"\n\n\"How about them?\" I pointed to another group to the left that I didn't see before. \"Or them!\" Another group appeared in front of us. There were tons of people to ask, I'm sure one of them spoke English. Instead, dad slammed on the brakes and reversed away from them. \n \n\"We need to get out of here!\" Mom started to sound panicky.\n\n\"I know!\" dad responded sharply. I could tell he was angry, his eyes were bugging out. The GPS car was still going in circles. Mom and dad were looking through the windows at all the people that were showing up, and moving towards us. I think they knew we were lost and were trying to help us. \n\n\"KEITH!\" mom shouted. She seemed really scared now.\n\n\"I KNOW!\" he screamed. I've never heard mom and dad yell like this. I wanted to help them out too. As they looked out the windows, I unbuckled my seatbelt and grabbed the GPS from the mount. One of the blind people slapped the side of the car as we sped past. Dad almost ran him over! That was pretty mean, the guy is blind and can't see what's going on. I held down the power button on the GPS to turn it off. I could hear dad swearing in the front seat, not even trying to be quiet about it. Mom wasn't scolding him about it, either. I think she was swearing a bit, too.\n\n\"In two - hundred meters, turn - left.\" The robot lady on the GPS was working again. I was way better with computers and stuff than Dad, and I smiled to myself. Dad turned sharply to the left and sped away. I looked out the back window and saw the ugly people fading into the distance, still trying to reach us. After a while of silence, the red and black clouds started to fade and the sun came out again. We hit a bump, and we were back on a paved road again. I was happy, the bumps were starting to hurt my butt. \n\n\"Continue straight down - Bro-ker Street - for 5 - point - 6 - kilometers.\" I handed the GPS up to the front, and mom put it back on the mount. They were both really silent the whole way to gram and gramp's. I felt bad for how ugly those people were, and wondered what language they spoke.\n\nGram gave me an ice cream bar when we got there, and dad didn't even tell me to wait until after supper. \n\nToday was pretty neat.",
"Pops used to be my hero. There were a million reasons to love him when I was a kid, but they all faded away with age. Maybe it all started in hell. I'm not sure.\n\nI locked the door. Violet cracks of lightning shot across the immeasurable stalactite-peppered sky, and quickly dissipated. This was no place for a kid and my dad knew it. But then, he's the one who brought us here in the first place. My friend Riley's dad wouldn't have gotten us into the same situation. He wasn't above asking for directions.\n\nNot my dad. No sir.\n\n\"To hell with directions!\" he'd yell.\n\nWell, that's where we literally ended up, so you can't say he didn't play a part in jinxing our Volkswagen right to the very gates of evil.\n\nMom was beside herself, and screamed every time one of those souls rubbed up against her window. Pops lazily tried to calm her down saying things like \"They don't even have arms, quick your badgering\" or \"Just think of them like neglected car dealership air dancer men.\" Then he'd chuckle, remembering something he'd seen on TV. Ugh, TV.\n\nEvery day pops would come home from work, plop himself in front of the TV and watch cop dramas, and if he was feeling glitzy, saved episodes of The Voice. It turned my dad into a vegetable. He was aloof and absent-minded a lot of the time. Last month I woke up on a drive and we were in Canada. This month, it's hell. \n\n\"Look!\" cried pops.\n\nOutside the car among black torrential waves of lost souls roving above, there was a light. Dad kept driving, and the road curved up a hill toward the light. As we got closer and the damned thinned out a bit, I saw that that the light belonged to a tiny blue cottage.\n\nDad slapped his thigh, \"You see! I knew I was on the right road, hell be damned!\"\n\nWe parked and got out. Dad knocked on the door. It creaked open and there were my grandparents with beaming smiles.\n\n\"You're here, that's wonderful,\" said Grandma.\n\n\"Come on, get in here out of the withered souls,\" Grandpa said, ushering us in.\n\nPops ruffled my hair. It infuriated me. Grandpa and Grandma have been dead for a year but still he insists on bringing us to purgatory, always getting lost in hell on the way. He might seem magnanimous now, but I knew that as soon as we were home it was back to Jack Bauer, CSI, and Gwen Stefani.\n\nTo hell with it.\n\n*****\n\nme: /u/velabas\n\n\n\n"
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